The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-11-30

Not ReIished by Their Subjects-"Don'i
Laugh at Your Own Jests"-when to II,
Funny and When Not TO BE Funny.
Copyright by American Press Association
We sometimes hear persons playfully
warned mot to be so funny or they will
hurt themselves"
But it is quite true that mistaken
ideas of humor often do result in mis-
fortune to the humorist and one gener-
ally feels that the misfortune is well
enough deserved.
| knew one young man who cut him.
self out of his grandfather's will by
sketching pipe as coming out of the
mouth Of that venerable gentleman's
portrait, and young lady who lost the
gift of her grandmother brocade dress
of unknown value by humorously illus
trating the old lady's probable style Of
dancing in her youth.
AS for more severe practical jokes, few
persons in these DAYS are so regardless Of
decorum as TO practice them, and yet
some are. Not year ago heard gen
tleman ask lady sitting at the same
table with me whether she had ever
tasted an especial brand of Burgundy.
She said no, and lie rejoined, Permit
me to pass you the bottle" She took it
and tipped gently and then more siren
uously, until it became evident that il
was empty. whereUpon not only the
donor but his wife began to laugh and
look about for applause. The victim of
the joke laughed also. but not pleasant
ly, and rejoined, "Yod might as well
have given me your own head"
The joker ceased laughing and angrily
demanded, why"
Because there's nothing of value in
it," replied the lady, and there We're two
enemies for life, not to count the mans
wife and as many Of the lady's family as
she chose to complain to.
Another practical joke which came
under my notice was the contriving that
two very susceptible young people should
discuss spoons in an arbor where
wag was hidden. who, initiating the
girls father, suddenly cried out: "Un-
hand them, villain! Ny ducats and my
daughter" and then fled. but was pur-
sued and caught in the midst Of his &C
completes, and so was started feud that
no time will heal.
But apart from such Grass brutalities
as these how many persons sow endless
regrets fo- themselves and others by
mistaken humOr. Most women are SEN
sitive as to their age. 1t may be foolish
but it is almost universal, and there is
no intimacy, no degree Of relationship, no
SensibIeness on the part of the recipient,
that can make lest that turns upon age
acceptable to a woman, or for that mat
ter to "A man, for the lords Of creation
have a great deal more petty vanity than
they wish to take credit for. / once
heard a bachelor Of about 30 dogmati-
cally asserting that Washington's inau-
guration day was very hot. The ques-
ton was discussed until at last one
young lady fippantly remarked, We'll,
since Mr.. S;o-and-so was there and saw
it we must believe it." Poor So-and-so
always has a spiteful word for that girls
uame whenever it is mentioned.
Nor do any circumstances or relation
ship make caricature Of him or herself
acceptable or funny to its subject. There
are very few of ~ who might not be
caricatured by clever draughtsman so
as to make all our friends shake with
laughter, but not one Of them nor
would the artist himself find carica-
ture Of their or his own peculiarities
one-tenth part so funny; in fact, most of /
rs would quietly set up an abiding dis
ike to the perpetrator of this admirable /
jest.
Nor is it ever safe to Jest upon an
others mistakes in social or educational |
matters.
just fancy what my wife said when |
Professor Lunis asked her if she thor |
oughly understood his theory of aster- /
oids. She asked If they weren't a kind |
of punctuation marks! Thought he |
meant asteriSks" SO said great, stu /
pid. good natured man the other night |
in company. and had 10 idea his wife |
would rather he had surreptitiously |
pinched her black and blue.
Nor, if you would keep your friend. |
ever point ont or narrate or seem to |
perceive anything absurd in connection /
with HIM or her No matter how ridicu- |
lous he looked running for the train, |
with his coat tails flying out behind, |
don't make good story of it, whether |
IN his presence or absence. No matter |
how funny her attitude and expression /
were when the mouse seemed bound in |
seeking refuge under her skirts-if You
tell anybody else half YOU think about
1t you viii win laugh and very proba-
bly, lose a friend.
Il never since have dared TO be as
funny as l can SAYS Holmes. and for
various reasons a good many humorists
might echo the confession
Another class OF mistaken wit is that
by which rather slow and simple per-
son IS made the target fer some sharp
shooters singing arrows for the amuse-
ment of listening crowd. In the first
place few people are as obtuSe as they
appear, and many "A man who has not /
the wit 10 retort quite comprehends the
hidden gibes and innuendoes and almost
insults the Jester Is launching at his
seemingly stohd comprehension. was
once present at a most painful scene.
where the rather deaf, exceedingly COM
monplace and decidedly disagreeable |
head Of house suddenly remarked TO a
guest: Madam, have always thought
1t very Ill manners TO allude, in the pres
ence of visitors, TO family matters from
which they are excluded. and l will !
therefore mention that when nv sons
use the term IRISH to describe ANYTHING
al oil ~ ! I