The intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1887-1891, 1890-11-15
PuNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

Pooling with dynamit is Eetting to
be nearly as dangerous as trying to
thrash an editor. -I;am's Horn,
The way 60 do any thing that is
hard to do, is to roll up your sleeves and
20 right at it. HAMS Horn.
A level surface is Hat, but there is a
distinction between II lcvel-hcaded man
and a nat-hcadod one. Pittsburgh
Chronicle Telegraph.
-Whangle-''So Peck is dead, is he?
What we're the old fellows last wOrds?"
Jangle- ale didn't have any. His wife
was with him when he died. Boston
Traveller.
Accommodating Iohnson-"Will
you please carry this domijohn to my
house, .Jackson"'' "Ccrtainly, if there's
anything in it. Yankee Hlado.
The world rarely praises a man un-
til after he dies. Fellows ~"Gcnerally
that's about all the world can find to
praise him for. o. Epoch.
There * Joy in heaven when n prodi-
gal returns but didn't ! tell you SOP"
is tho universal cry on earth when a
good man COOS wronG.-Ram's Horn.
90. John, Eve lost tn" diamond out
of my engagement ring" That's all
right, SO long as You didn't lose tho ring
itself Its gold, you know. "-Philadel-
phia Times.
Husband as this canned chicken
or canned lobster, Ethel?' Wife,
don't know, John. The label had been
torn of the can before | opened it,
Somorvilio journal.
He Cooking drcamily into his cup)
WHATS this-a miraclo?" She Gndig-
nantly)-'Why, no; that's coffee. and
good coffee, tool" He ''Well, isn't thai
Il miraclo?'- Pittsburgh Chronicle.
u have met the best tennis players
in the land, hut Eve never boon beaten
GLOW wonderful Why don't you enter
the tOurnamcnt?" ~ never play
Harpcr's Bazaar, 1870
To lubricato his words. Miss De
Gimp Hooking through the samples OF
a drummer for a material housed
What do you carry this little oil can
for?" The Drummcr-"l wear that under
my tongue when ! tackle a rough Gus
toner Jewellers Weekly.
1t is said To have been discovered by
science that tho wind always moves in
II ClTGlt, DuJ no eN tldlldLiOu HAS Deen
made as to how it happens that when
the playful zcphyrs seize hold of a mans
hat thoy always make a straight shoot
for the nearest mudpuddle. Rams
Horn.
Vito (revisiting the scene of her
betrothaI)-' remember, A~lgernon, so
well when you proposed to me. How
painfully embarrassed You wero!' Alger-
non -"Yos, dear; and | remember so
we'll how kind and encouraging you
were, and how very easy you made 1T
for me, after all IIarper's Bazaar.
The Change of Styles.-Mrs. Cumso
-"Fashions make great changes in our
, hired girls. | used to be greatly both
cred by my servants borrowing my
dresses" Mrs. Banks-"And don't they
no. 1t is my husband that is in for it
now. They borrow his clothes."-
Racket.
-WiSo-"Why do you always carry
two cigar-caScS?' well. You 500, the
black ono is for those | smoke myself,
and in tho red one | carry those ] give
to my friends VINO have forgotten theirs,
and | find that they arc not very apt to
do that tho second timo when they arc
coming to my house. Fliegonde Blat-
ter.
First Citizon-'No, sir; I'll mover
give my vote to Brass. If all reports
are true he has actually paid money for
votes" Second Ditto -"You don't mean
il; but whom can we vote for?"
"There's Smart" 'Yos. but he's an
iTnoramUs and his regulations mono Of
of tho sweetest" Granted. Hut Smart
has given our church 500 and has
promised to double 1t noxt month. "
So We'll, | guess un the wholo we'd
better support Smart Anyhow, | cant
voto for Brass I d"toSi bribery and re-
fuse to encourage it," isOStun Tran
SrrinI-