St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-01-20
NEW YEAR RnsoLUrf oNs,
Determinations of Man Who
Has Ideas and Says He HASN'T
Had the fnrinnR

DETERMINATIONS Oh d Adh WHO
Has Ideas and Says He HASN'T
Had the Grippe.
r. j. Burdette in Brooklyn Eagle.
will wear easier shoes than 1 did
last year.
If find that have to wear specta-
Giles, will.
will not read one-half the advertise
ments IN the Sunday papers.
l will think less about money, and
reach out after more of it.
| will remember only the good things
in the sermon.
! will try TO do without the things
which | really do not need and can't
get, aud give the money to the mission
AIRY union.
will not envy the poor their posses
siOns.
If have time 1 VIII get up at the
ringing of the rising bell.
Under any circumstances, [ will al
ways arise before breakfast.
will not believe anything / read in
thenewspapers until | sec it contradict
ed the following day.
When l find | cannot do as ] please |
will do as have to.
will TRY toy answer all my letters.
| will give up lying, even though 1
have to sell my troutrod and dog.
| will endeavOr to take more interest
in base ball.
If any man offers to discuss civil ser
vice reform, infant baptism or Brown
ing with me. and nobody is around, and
the place is lonely, and the hour late,
and | think l can do it, will maui him
so that he can't think of anything but
court plaster and arnica for three
weeks.
"Have had the new Russian in
fmenza, yet?" Well. no; haven't had
time But Pm going To have it one of
these days. have really had it, sup
pose, great many times, under various
aliases. | understand the principal
| feature or symptom, or whatever you
doctors call it, is an aversion
| to do any work. Well,
have that. under the most
maligant forms. Thousands OF
| times. Thousands and thousands of
| times. You know people have every
| thing that CONES along, anyiIOw. There
are some people who positively delight
| in thinking they are sick, especially il
| in no danger of suffering any pain or
distress, OF of dying. At one time, when
| was boy, every body used to have
the ague. all or part of the time. But
| it was too realistic in its development:
| it settled down to business in the first
| round in such a dead earnest sort of
! way that it never was very pOnular in
| society and never grew to be the dolce
| far mente kind of maIady that our best
| society liked to daily with, and SO
| fashionable physicians, such as alter
nate their prescriptions with vers de
! societe and novels, ceased TO prescribe
SEQ ,,,orar,5
| their patrons, and the disease went
| West, where people wern't SO particular.
! Then you remember, hay fever was
| boomed into a sudden popularity by
| Henry Ward Beecher and some other
| learned men. and everybody had it just
| to have something that Mr.. Beecher
| had. For some years it was purely a
| literary disease: only men Of letters,
! artists and musicians had it; it was R
| sort of Lotus club monopoly, and was
! greatly longed for and universally
| sought after. BY and by some very rich
! people bought few sporadic eases of it.,
| ahd the year following the dudes got it,
! then for season or two everybody had
| it, men. women and fools. After that,
malaria came in. 1t was the most uni
| versally popular complainteye known.
| 1t took the place OF bIli0uSness at once.
! Malaria was more euphOniuS title. it
| had strange imported, classical tone
| to it, and it fitted every symptom that
| humanity could invent. And now this
/ new rival, "la grippe" enters the field.
But it is not to stay long. 1t hasn't the
staying power of malaria. Oh, for q
! good, reliable, everyday old standby
| in all this world of maladieS, there $
nothing that can shake stick at ma
|, laria. So while it is trifle out of the
/ swim just now, believe, if have any
( thing this winter, I'll have the malaria.
FI'm used to that. know how and
where to get it, how much of it to take.
+ and what to do for it. But you 30 to
| fooling around this new epidemic be
| fore people have learned how TO handle
| it. and the first thing you know il will
| fly the track with somebody and pitch
him clean over the fence.