The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-08-21
Crazy Joe.

This is an expression that brought terror
to my youthful heart. You may think it
is fancy, mythical, or unreal but it is the
name of a real, though eccentric, character,
known pretty much all over Southern Geor-
gia.
Long ago when first began my study of
the world renowned Websters blue back
speller, l remember the first morning of the
school crazy Joe's breecheS had to be re-
moved from the bench standing along the
middle of the scloolhouse, on which they
had lain for months before.
The little schoolhouse was very small
! affair, built of logs on the ground, the
cracks ceiled when nails were scarce by
placing boards over them with pins
driven in holes bored with a half-inch
auger. 1t was built by the late Judge
Harmon Gaskins and his sons, and Mr..
William Giddens and his sons, now living
near Midtown, GA. 1t has, as | said before,
dirt" floor with a small chimney at one
end, and was just by the side of the road
leading to my graadfathers. Many times
have been held up i'll my mothers arms as
we passed there, to see Crazy Joe's brooches,
which on his rounds he had got tired of and
laid aside in the little school house. You
think it about time for me to tell who am
talking about? We'll, | can hardly tell. He
always gave his name as Joe Smith, and
gave as the reason for his extraordinary ap-
4 pearance that his mother was much fright
| ened at a drunken man, causing the de-
forrnity in him.
To all appearances he is as one drink as
the fiddleI's puppy, though he never takes
whisky. He is of medium height, of pale,
sallow complexion, eyes slightly crossed,
very sparing beard, ii any, and will weigh
about 100 pounds He talks with thick
brogue, and when mad can hardly be
understood. He has roamed over the
greater part of Southern Georgia, part of
Florida, visiting many of the principal
| cities and towns, where he has often been
| arrested and locked up on a charge of
| drunkenness, but was always released when
| time for SOLDERING came and still the fit was
| on. He has ridden all up and down the
| Brunswick and Western and Savannah
| Florida and Western railroads, on which hs
never pays cent, the employees 2ll being
| acquainted with him.
lie possesses great love for money and
carefully boards every copper cent he ever
| gets his hands on. He mover stole any SO
FAR as l know and never spent any, he just
| kept what people gave him; until on one Of
| his tramps through the country he was
waylaid ana his money, consisting of about
| $50 in silver and copper coins, taken from
| him. We don't see how God can ever pity
as poor a wretch, so wicked and vile as the
| idiotic being. He who will do such thing
| will steal dough from a blind duck.
Joe has always maintained a warm and
| tender love for the girls, and would put
himself to all kind of p tty troubles to
please them, and If possible win their affec-
tions. On one occasion he saw and fell in
| love with young lady wearing a red fan
mel sacque. He gave her SO much annoy
ance that she finally gave him the sacque,
he thinking that if she could see him wearing
| it she would love him, but all his efforts
| failed, and he had to turn his attention to
! something else He obtained fiddle some
way or other and for a long time carried it
| swung around his neck, saying: eff that
| didn't make the gals love him he was gwine
| down to Sawanny and buy him a watch
| and yang it round his neck, and he reck-
| oned then some of 'em would love him."
| The poor fellow found one after awhile,
| though. He happened in Allapaha one day,
| and as usual was looking after wife. He
| stayed round so long that some of the boys
| tired of him, and resolved on a little fun,
and, if possible, to get rid of him. Among
them there was but one that would consent
to become party to play the feminine role.
His name was Royal. painter by trade,
who had not long been in Allapaha.
He assumed the feminine attire, and Crazy
| Joe was introduced to the lady" The
meeting was satisfactory, and license was
procured at once bogus, you know, and
the late DR.. j. A Fogle, being notary pub
lie, went through the ceremony that made
| Crazy Joe think he had at last cap
tured the long-sought wife. A little while
afterward Royal disrobed himself of his
feminine garb right before Joe's eyes, leav
ing himself dressed as man. Imagine
3 Joe's surprise. He was so enraged that be
} pulled long knife and made sudden dash
: or Royal, who had to pole out of the way.
) he ruse had the desired effect. When
g forming came Joe folded his tents like the
g EaLs and silently stole away.
4 Zoe is often exposed to severe hardships,
f an the only wonder is that his constitution
S hastood it this long. He often travels,
r the oldest Gather that comes, barefooted
s and parely clothed, frequently camping
g wher night overtakes him, like Jacob Of
OLD, nth hard rocks for his pillow and
9 the DIN canopy Of heaven for a covering.
Is Yet hlprotection is he who "sees the spar
Y rows ia and who hears the young ravens
9 when thy cry"
IS w. HENRY GRIFFIN.
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