Daily Republican., 1890-02-14
AWKWARD CHlIsTENiNGs,


the 0tnor Gay over Q dinner at ClArk'e,
given by church club, when the cen.
versation turned on the old style Of die
tatorial preachers who used to bully their
nocka and attempt to lay down the law
for their temporal, as well as spiritual
guidance.
~ remember . ludicrous incident of
the kind" said one, "when two OF his
humble parishoners came before the little
Pope Of . backwoods circuit and brought
their baby 70 be baptized.
"what name do you give this childf"
he said.
SNOW the woman :isped and the
preacher was rather deaf, so that when
she replied 'Luthy, thirp meaning sLacy,
SIR he started back in surprise.
"'Whati' he calculated.
"'Luthy. thir,' repested the embar-
raised mother.
"'Luciferp Numbered the outraged
pastor. Nonsense, woman. Would you
name your child after the dewitt /
would AZ soon call him Judas lscariot,
| and, dipping bis hand In the font, he
stiaed the infants squeals with liberal
dose Of the wator full In its mouth, add
ing, with JUNCTION:
"'John Wesley. l baptize thee
| "And the trembling parents, accus-
| tomou " icttiuS tuo oiu mhu uhve Ills
way In all things, went quietly out with
not exactly feminine, name"
''rhats pretty good story" said au-
other OF the party, "snd reminds me Of .
somewhat similar, though not 90 funny,
case, where the parents wanted to cali
the child Julius Cesar, but the minister
remsrking severely, None OF your
heathea names, dubbed It Simon Peter.
But that GLASS Of psrlshloncrs who are
willing to submit their own will to the
PASTORS wkim ID not common nowadays
In cities anyway, and any preacher who
attempted such thing would be likely
to get u piece OF her mind from the good
vile. remember unwittingly OF, nding
such one when l was young In the
ministry.
81 had performed the ceremony and
wss making out the certificate and regis
tering the christening in my took. For
getting the day of the mouth, l said to
the father:
"'Let me ses-!bis is tile twelfth, Is It
no,?'
1.-THE twelfth, broke In the Indignant
young mother. Tt's only the second.
and you baptized the first yourself. If
you visited as oftener you would not
make such absurd mistakes. The
twelfth, indeed-P"
| ''It took me some time to Assure her
that had intended no reflection on her
age"
az used to feel awfully nervous over
baptisms before l got married and had
children Of my own" added another OF
the clcrgymen, "wken had to take the
baby from Its mothers arms before the
whole congree alton. / never failed to
grab II the wrong way, 1t seemed to me
at first, and ! Invariably set the most
placid youngster having, greatly to my
own embarrassment and to the delight
OF the young people In the congregation.
One day good old mother 10 Israel, on
whom l was calling, excused herself
| for an instant and came back tearing q
clever and pretty babe. her grandchid.
az have made up my mind, Mr..
NJ she said, from watching you
handle the babies that are brought to
y u for bsp ism, that you need few les
sons IN the art. Now, propose to give
you them, here iu private, with the
baby as an ob,ect lesson, and nobody
will be any the wiser; but your own
comfort, 40 we'll as that OF the congrega-
ton, not 70 speak Of the babies, will be
greatly increased
81 was little staggered at frat by the
novel proposition, but soon fell into the
humor OF 1t, and, after q few instruc-
lions from the old lady's stock OF
mother-lore, handled that child like a
father OF twins, and soon became 30 ex-
port that have quieted many squawl-
Ing child ct the font and restored 1t 10
it's mothers arms cooling and soothed.
In fact, found out long after l was
married thAt my wife first took liking
10 me, - they say, from seeing tho mas
terly way In which l quiesed aparticu-
larly bad baby, which hsd SGT the whole
conversation a-hdgetting."
Il once met q case" the speaker
added, "whsrs . young couple whom l
had married ct the same altar came to me |
to baptlxe their frat child. The father |
was usually young and Abashed, and
looked even younger than he was. The
vile was sel-possessed enough, and had |
evidently coached him for the ceremony. |
His embarrassment was so great, however,
that whom l said TO him, IL the due course
Of tho service, 'Name this child he
looked hopelessly at his better half.
II thought he had forgotten the name. |
and 90 did the congregation, some OF
whom began TO smile. Il
THE vile nudged HIN, however, and
he woke up, answering in a clear voice;
1.-THE ceremony Of his last visit to that
altar was still fresh In his mind, as 1t
was, indeed, In the minds OF many pres
emit, and his pat reply tick ed them so
that 1t WAS with difficulty dec,nt order
WAS nrsaervad