The morning call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1878-1895, 1890-07-20


Two UT thee meals at farthest sponge
the banquet airs from the cabin tables.
Fifty plates will suffice for the second day
at table for breakfast; perhaps no more
than twire that number Tor luncheon ana
dinner White-gluved table stewards, sol
emn as mutes at a funeral, stand idly by
for the two hours of the double sittings,
sieadfastly regarding the artistic lights Of
the gay cabin dome; or receiving with
stately and compassionate reserve the hum
BILE apologies OF those having sudden en-
gagements in their state-rooms or upon
deck. The flowers lave wholly disappeared
from the main tables, and, for courtesy's
sake tarry little like snuddering array
of hectic CHESTS upon the spare tables in
the alcoVeS, as II each Nlthered and trenl-
bling bud knew its fate of being tossed into
the SEA on the morrow. The ships com
nander, bland as a bartender in port, has
hidden himself from view. The purser's
window is Shut as if Theoretically sealed.
! The ships doctor has retired behind
the Strciest Interpretation Of hours and
rules The chief and assistant stewards, to
whom your great fee has already gone for
choice seat at the table, refuse to recOg-
ME you. \ our ROOM steward eyes you with
look of sharp suspicion and close analysis.
Win you give him much trouble, and will
you fee generously? comprise his utter
most interest. But he Will permit no early
familiarity. The stewardess cunts her
white capped head, plainly sayimR" There
| are characters hon this ere vessel aside my
h'uwn to sustain, sir!" The boatswains,
whose frizzled, faiherly faces on the first
| day gave promise OF sea yarns and ocean
| lore revelations, are as StOlid as bronZeS or
| brass. The sergeant-at-arms and deck
| stew ards walk around you, look you up and
| down, over and around, fore and ait. star
! board and port, as If to remind you that
deck rules are deck law, sir.
The bell-boys, those little drled-up old
| commOdores Of the passages, library and
| lavatOries, regard you from beneath beet
! ling brows as with savage advance protests
! against possible requests for favOrs. Wan
| der where you may ON your steamers decks
| Ur within her splendid cabins, you find but
| savagery, selfish preOccupatiOn and mute
| despair. The officers and crew are one aud
all m0odily recovering from port eXceSSe5
| The few passengers upon their legs are
| each nursing parting melancholy, figuring
! upon trip expenses, or contemplating the
| difference between the songs and the
! scourgeS of the sea. The predominatng
| hosts are in the throes of unmitigated, I'M
vanqulshable seaslckness. And how it
! levels the proud ana great. Look 1T them
sprawIing in their chairs, hundreds Of them
under the lee awnings, hope, pride,
scorn, hauteur, all flown like the flush of
| the shrveled flowers below. That pOmpOuS
old fellow who can draw his check for
cool million, and who, on shore, reckonS
! himself a boy Of 40. you know, is stretched
there like drunkaGd, holding his two sets
of false teeth in his nerveless hand with the
| most familiar abandon. He recks not those
! who see; he sees not those who reck. Here
| is grand dame, as easy subject of study.
| Her wig is displaced; the pow der and color
| have been sponged from one side of her
! face by some attentive stewardess; her
| laces, 1Uunces and silks are disheVeied she
| is snoring, diversified by snorts and pala-
teal staccatos. Berugsed and bejGweled
| she seems SAD travesty on even some
| giddy Miss Havisham," escaped from a
| mOl0y bridal chamber and fallen in 4
Seven Dials" debauch. Look at this
! bellies beauty now. George, back there in
| New York, would be lucky dog to catch n
/ glimpse OF her divine face this moment He
! would wait for no congo from LivOrrool.
! Paint, powder and bilgewater are blended
! into dirty French gray upon her 1t athery
| countenance. The fog has deposited
| clammy rime upon this. Strands Of her
| now wayeless hair are tluttering stickily
within her open mouth. Her eyes seem to
have gone back into her head an inch and
are closed beneath dirty yellow lids. Amid
| this wreck of beauty there is ore bit of
color. 1t is her plnky, pointed lose. II
would have parayzed Helen to have worn
a 25-cent bathing-lIat at sea. So from under
the edge Of her So hat her sea-blistered
nose rises rare and red like some dark,
doloruus isle. In a few days more the
| lOng-abused cutiele will peel from this little
| nose in tenacious SwirlS and curls, and as
! the rude Customs Inspectors will pronounce
! ler an H American h'Objeck."
SEA TRAVEL STUDIES.
| One might fill book with these sea travel
studies. a good deal besides seasickness
and Its rank-leyeling power might be dwelt
upon. But the old traveller, and the first
tripper who Is cautious and conservative,
will never be tempted into remarks about
proves in bouts with the fell destroyer.
At the first and seconds meals, while the
taste of your New \ Ork friends champagne
is still sweet on your palate, you are likely
to roar little along the line. But you will
regret 1t. Listen to those retching wreteheS
in their state-roOms below. Each one had
flung challenge to old Neptune's powers.
The little dude has lisped under his nap
kin. Lying wight dwown on ones back II
do nausea, Pll allow" The Chicago packer,
loading his plate with another Swath
of his own homeless ham, has snoTted,
"Pshaw, Lake Michigan en- knock the 5 OTIS
of this pond any time for rOughness. No
body ever sick out our way" The ladies
chorus, Dear me, 1t isn't possible any one
could be i'll on this boat, is it noW?'
think it's just too lovely for anything"
Tie lawyer is oTatOric about it, summing
up before an invisible jury with invincibie
Now, SiTS, and hGary citations and prece-
dents that settle the whole matter. The
clergyman, bless hin for his faith, fancieS
ITS all merely matter of the Imagination"
While the man with the granite head, brass
jaw and iron stomach closes the discussion
and his meals at table, with the rest of
us, for few days-by an explosive, IAN
nonsense, SlrI' Have a stomach OF iron
like me, sir"' But they are all done for
now. The dude is developing his Lying
wight dwowu" theory; the ladies' are gasp
ingly changing their adjectiyes; the packer
is comparing the peculiaTiiies of lake and
pond; the clergyman has new study of the
pleasures of the imagination and the man
with the iron stomach is slipping its cogs
as helplessly as with the ordinary mortal
diaphragm. Aud so 60 the first days until
''the banks" are crossed. If you have
now suffer loneliness, and hunger tor soci-
ETY.. There is not a single responsive CLEAN
| of companlOnShip in any face aboard-Ship.
| You become desperate You see being in
blue and gold away out forward there. You
| slide, slip and slide along up to it. The be-
ing proves to be ships officer-frst, sec
ond, third or somewhere along the line.
But it is alive, has hearty iowls, big
paunch, and hoping these bespeak genial
lily, you timidly address it.
Beg pardon, officer, but are these fogs
always to lie found here on these bankS?"
The being is blue, gold and bronze statue
for long, long time. Finally, as you de-
spair, aud are about to turn away, its red
head suddenly turns quarter round, aid you
involuntarlly listen for its click. Then its
caveTDous, coral mouth expands frightfully
while the being roars:
low do HI know? II dOant bide eere."
You somehow feel like adjourning your
aboard-ship studies until the return oil sunny
weather. EDGAR L. wAKEMAN.
*CQpyTighted
ENGLISH COURT ETIQUETTE.