St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-06-02
CARLYLE,s Bette NoIR.


JAMES in the British metropolis, who
was esteemed as the most SapieGt au-
thority in England on small wildwood
and house vermin.
Here is sorrowful instance of
where the wished-for comes too late.
Had this lamented relative of the CAR
LYLEs been earlier on the scene with
his singular lore, what heaps of trouble,
anxiety and agitation he might have
spared his brilliant and sorely-tried
sister-in-law, JANE WELSH CARLYLE.
The apprehension of her life was the
appearance and temperance of the
scarlet creepers vulgarly known as bed
bugs in the sleeping room Of her illus
triouS husband, for whose person they
had an undying relish.
The hopeless gentlewoman, slumber-
ing half-consciously between neuralgia
spells of headache in the room below,
would be brought to sitting posture
in sudden alright when the Sage of
Chelsea set the house rocking with his
furious bound out of bed and his fe-
rocious broadsides of tumultuous
Scotch.
No matter where the incompatible
JEANNE tarried-at the hospitable
grange with the AsHBURToNs; at
Ripple Court, near Walmer; with
Miss DAVENPORT BROMLEY, or in
kinship visits to Scotland-she always
came back to the amending ordeal OF
dispossessing bedbugs from the bed
stead and its curtains in the masters
room at No. B Cheyne row, Chelsea.
The conservative British subject be-
lieves that sleep is not lawful unless it
is of the asphyXicated sort inside of
drawn bed curtains. 1t was sleepless
grievance of DICKENS, laid up in letters
against the United States in general
but in mournful surprise about Boston
i'll particular-that the beds had no
smothery hangings to capture the
drowsy god OH English sitting terms.
Is it any wonder that Mrs. CARLYLE
put on record for all time, per JAMES
ANTHONY FRoUDE, that her "nerves
were tattered to fddlestringS?" What
life-industry Of bed overhauling,
room dismantlings, scrubbings and
publications in vain-or at best the
briefest interval. The bright little
woman could see death carry off from
her favored circle CAVAIGNAC, the
grand; IRVING. the beloved; JOHN
STIRLING, the noble: MAzzINI, whose
English locutions enlivened letters,
journals and conversation, and KINGS
LEY, the high-hearted: but the bugs
survived them all, and they are prob
ably to blame for the untenanted last
condition of No. 5,Cheyne row.
The wonder now is, whether it would
have been any compensation to JANE
WELSH CARLYLE to have foreseen
that one CARLYLE was to become in
the useless earthly future, as far as she
was concerned, 1.-The highest authority
in all England on house vermin." as
the foremost Of the name had been the
most disturbing agency in the British
Isles when bedbugs drew his innocent
blood. Was there retributive coun-
terpoise in the fraternal research and
renown, introduced maybe, by the
w1etched and ever-recurring expert
ence of his famous sister-in-law? Pre-
sumablY. Mayhap, too. JAMES CAR
LYLE read GAIL HAMILToN's "Slice
of the Day of Judgment in
the North American Review. where
she amicably wishes that bedbugs
will forever crawl over the fame of
THOMAS, because, poor man, he wasn't
entirely passive when they punctured
his cuticle and murdered sleep. What
would she have him do-remain placidly
supine and say nothing until they over
ran the house and crushed red on the
sight," like the CORY field of Culloden on
the wizards vision?
For all the frantic housekeeping ener-
gies of his now co-immortal wife,
THOMAS CARLYLE had some provoking
experiences. and grievances, too. And
here let one instance suffice-the find
porridge at the table.
The repaSt consisted of that one
! course, and the carelessness of over
looking and cooking the undelectable
extra!
Now the fame of one brother rests on
his knowledge of small wildwood and
house vermiu, while that of the other is
punctured and ravaged by women COM
mentators because of his fierce restive-
ness under the carnivorous house va
riety.
The CARLYLEs have fraternally
evened up the subject at last.
But JEANNE, the Incompatible, is
apathetic to it all now in Haddington
church, as when she listened silently
night after night to the battle of Mol
WITT sin the Valley of the Shadow OF
Frederick as she called it.
DANTE GABRIEL RossETTI said the
truest thing about Mrs. CARLYLE: "a
bitter little woman, but the poor OF
| Chelsea. idOIi1nd hnr ,,