Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1890-05-02
THOUGHT HE WAS SMART.
But Circumstances Altered His Good
Opip,o on of Himself.

sissippi river a well dressed man, while
picking his way through the woods, trying
to avoid the water that was rapidly rising,
came to small knoll almost surrounded
by the 1ood and on the knoll he found a
tall, lank fellow sitting on log. The
stranger, delighted at seeing human be-
ing, ran up to the lank fellow and ex-
claimed:
Il never was gladder to see mnu in my
life. | have been in these woods nearly a
day and half My horse and went down
with caving bank; managed Co save my
self, but couldn't save him. Now the ques-
ton is, how are we going to get out of this
internal place."
Don't know" the lank fellow an
swered, "wallowing" his tobacco about in
his mouth
'Why, don't you know the woods'"
"Wall, did know em putty well, but the
high water has wiped all the roads out"
Look here the water is rising, and this
is no time for foolishness. See, we are en-
tirely surrounded"
Eyes, that's so Squirting a stream of
tobacco juice through his teeth) Reckon
we'll halter wade"
"Do you know place where the water is
not very deep"
81 did know yistidy, but the water has
riz powerful since then"
Glow long have you been sitting nere?"
''Set down here this mornin'. Come out
to look for the COW an got tired, an my
plan is alus to rest when | git tired. |
have hearn it read outen the papers that a
good many men die frum overwork, an
sence then am mighty partickler."
But how do you expect to get out of
this placer
Don't know exactly"
I),,t o. L., Eos
don't you see how rapidly the water is
rising?'
YES It's comm up right peart You
air stranger down here, | reckon"
YES haven't been here but "a week, and
If the Lord will only let me get out this
time III never come back. | wonder if !
can wade out through there?"
II reckon you cant
Il have half notion to try it."
But make it whole one"
"I'll do it, | don't care to stand here till
The water comes up round my neck. Well
Eood-by If you want to stay here and
be drowned 1t is no fault of mine"
so long" the lank fellow replied, spit
ting through his teeth
The stranger had waded about thirty
feet when he lunged off over his head He
pluttered and foundered and finally got
back on the knoll
"Whew that was awful ~ he exclaim-
ed you scoundrel, why didn't you tell
me?'
How did | know what sort of wader
You are2 Some folks kin wade surprisin
an then others KANT wade so well | tuck
you fur one of the boss waders, but now
see you amt"
Il ought to jump on you and beat you.
declare, don't know what to do"
Thought you was goin to jump on me-"
mo, don't want to hurt you. Look
here; In less than half hour from now this
knoll will be under water"
EFF ! was goin' to bet, WY I'd bet thatter
way"
"And are you going to stay here and be
drowned9"
81 KANT tell yit."
"You are fool-that's what's the mat
ter with you"
Eyes, | amt s'preme jedge, but I've got
mo- sense than to go out in woods that
don't know anything about an git drown
ed"
but you haven't got enough sense to get
out of woods that you do know something
about"
"Oh, | think So" The lank fellow got
up, went behind a tree, took up a canoe,
and as he was preparing to shove it off re
marked;
81 never fool with high water, cap'n,
an eff you buy land down here an live on
it awhile you'll Farm little sense yose'f
So long"
What, are you going to leave me this
wayp"
Yes, I've got rested now an must go
home an tell the folks that ] KANT find
that fool COW"
He showed off the canoe and got in. For
heavens sake take me with you" the
stranger implored
"Oh, reckon it's best not tonight
Spite you to ride with a fool"
Come back, my friend, was hasty."
YES, | sorter think you was"
81 didn't mean to call you fool-Tm the
fool"
An am | II smart MANI"
Indeed you are"
THE smartest man in this country" the
fellow asked, slowly padding the canoe
toward the knoll
Eyes, the very smartest."
Wall, but am the smartest man you
ever seed?"
"Yes, think you are"
But you mustn't think-you must know
it,"
well, then, know it,"
An don't you think or ruther don't
you know, that would make good gov
ernorp'
YES know you would"
"Cr president either?"
Eyes, you would make good anything. u
"All right, my boy, now you may git in.
Oh, tel you it do "A man power of good
TO travel round in this part of the country
He Farms faster than eff he was in college. -
-Opie p Read in Arkansaw Traveller.
Phiiistine's Suggestion.
That's u fine black mass you have there
WHY don't you"-
veil, whaty'
"Why don't you paint the whole canvas
black rs the ace of spades and call it Night
In Central African "-New York Sun