The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1890-08-09

pr,erior electrop ia t. up to our bedroom ~
every night There was othing like ils
proper precantion, as my wife sagely
remarked. After awhile we got to let
the cook take charge OF the 6 Isl sfil lver. ~
This she did satisfac torily enough until
the continued absence Of burg lars lulled
her spirit into state OF happy obllV-
iousness OF the predatory tribe. Ru-
mors Of housebreaking alta distance 90.
casionally reached US, but they q lected
us nosmore than dosthe obituary notices
OF people we don't know. All we did
was to talk vaguely Of getting q dog.
This was the sleep; presently came the
awakening. One fatal Monday morn
ing our marital slum bers were disturbed
at seven .. m. by the cook rushing into
our bedroom, and with pallid cheeks,
.distended eyes and disheveled locks,
CRYING: sob, MN, there's been robbers
in the housed"
In less time than that brief pc
Rod popularity known as q 'jify" my
wife and reached the scene OF the
catastrophe. Never shall forget the
spectacle that met our gaze. The vii
lain had apparently confined his depre-
dations to the kitchen, but there he had
wrought fearful havoc. All the doors
of the cupboards, all the drawers of the
sideboards were wide open, and such OF
their contents as had been left were
strewn upon the floor. On the rug were
fragments Of cold rabbit pie and cocoa
nut cake, apparently cast there out OF
pure superfluity OF naughtiness. On
the table were the pie dish and cake
plate, both empty. There also stood
glass and jug from which the ruhian
had evidently been drinking beer. Hard
by were some half-burned lucifer
matches and few shreds Of tobacco,
showing that he had finished up COM
fortably with a smoke. Both the
kitchen windows and that of the soul
lery were wide open-a fact which
thrust itself upon our outer conscious
ness, fer the morning was raw and
damp and we were thinly clad.
When we had recovered sufficiently
to take note of our actual losses, then
indeed the iron entered our souls. Wed
ding presents are not always source
of unqualified pleasure to either donors
or recipients. The former frequently
regard them as little better than tax
levied by custom; the latter occasion
ally feel that Aunt Jane and Cousi1
Peter might have done the thing rather
more handsomely while they were about
it, But it is astonishing what a won
derful affection one feels for wedding
presents when they have been stolen.
AS we looked for this gift and that,
and found them not, the most tender
chords were touched. remember hav-
ing thought Uncle Sniffkin's pair of
plated snuffers rather a poor gift. for he
is something considerable in the city
But, now that the accustomed peg knew
them no more, saw those shutters in
new light. L thought how uncle had
probably walked miles to get them-he
was greatly addicted to secondhand
shop in the Mile End road-and soft
ened sadness stole over me, and ]
longed to grasp his honest hand and
hint at his buying US another pair. My
wife bore the trying ordeal of seeking
and finding not bravely enough until
she made one dreadful discovery. Then
she broke down, and, finging herself
on my breast, exclaimed through her
tears: 20 dearest, the wretch has act
ually helped himself to some of our
we-e-dding cakev'
Eventually my burglar was captured,
and had the pleasure of personal in
terview with him. He was thick
set young fellow with not unpleasing
air Of melancholy about him. BY pro
fession he was a shoe-maker-thati is to
say, he professed to follow that calling;
but. the pair of boots he made for his
solicitor (who represented him at the
triaD were q mistit, and were actually
being touched up at the moment he was
arrested. In some respects he was a
man of careful and providential h abits;
he banked at the postofice CELL So stood
to his credit when he took my spoons),
and he kept diary. In the latter
were artless references to certain 'scalls"
he had made, and particularly ''remem-
brances" he had taken away with him.
Joe-for so he was Familiarity addressed
by the police, who boosted quite a nod
ding acquaintance with him in private
life-was rather offended when l asked
If he had experienced much difficulty in
getting into my house. why" he
said, 'sto crack a crib like yours is as
easy as kissing my hand" He further
explained that he took the servants
stocking from the dresser drawer merely
60 put the knives and forks in. He had
also taken q volume of culinary recipes.
'tMy missis amt much of cook, " he
said to me half apologetically. The
whole plumber he had wrapped up in
my Inverness cape; and he actually
used to wear that garment not mile
from my house when passing the bad
money for which he was primarily nab
bed! Had met the rascal in the street,
with what start of surprise should I
have recognized the cloak.
asked him if he usually had bite
and sup in the houses he visited
YES" he said. confldentially, ''you
usually feels bit down whe n you've
finished Job" Poor fellow, he dimes
on slilly now, for he got seven years.
Perhaps need scarcely add that my
house is now sort of combination Of
ID 4 4. = 1>~