The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1890-08-06
HUMOR OF THE DAY.


The ground foor-Sawdust
A good buy-law-Collect on delivery.
A drawing-room-Th dentists Office.
A two-foot rule-Stand on your own
pins.
An old Aame-The light of other
days.
Eyerybody's business is nobody's busi
ness except the busybody's.
Do not think you can cultivate mans
acquaintance by giving him an occa-
sional dig.
The paper that says something mean
about you is never lost in the nails
AtehiSon Globe.
Poor Fishing First Boy-''Did you
catch anything?" Second Boy-''Not
until | got home. San Francisco Wasp.
One thing of Noah must be slid
Nor will the truth be strained;
Without doubt he knew enough
To go in when itrained.
Hay Press.
Bobby-"How did you manage to get
the bowl of cream" Tommy Told
ma l saw the cat put her nose in itY'-
Epoch.
Ore of the healthiest professions in the
world is that of signing wills. Expectant
heirs will readily confirm this statement.
Puck.
When you come to consider the drunk
ard, there isn't much difference between
the ideal and the reel.--BinghGmtoD
Leader.
Do not try to take off your hat to a
woman on a rainy day; if she carries an
umbrella she will take it off for you.-
Boston Bulletin.
The men who become suddenly rich
remind us of the whales. They no sooner
get to the top than they commence blow
ing.-StGtesn
"Now, Johnny, you know what a
noun is, do youl' "Yeth um" "What
is Jerusalema" San ejaculation, num-"
-Hayper's Bdsaar.
The young man just out of school ad-
vertises for a position" but after six
months of hustling he is mighty glad to
get "job. ."-Puck.
The latest distinguished horse on the
turf is named Semicolon. 1t must be
,ather difficult to bring him to full
stop.-Boston Herald.
"All that's bright must fade
The brightest still the heetest"
All we wear is frayed
Just when we would be neatest.
Puck.
Hostess Ito young Spriggins, NJ. D.)--
''Dr. Spriggins, will you have some of
the tongue" DIR. Spriggins absent
mindedly)- )-"Oh-er--let me look at it, :
please. - Chatter. ~
1t is nonsense to say that there is
nothing new under the sun. The man
who owns an ordinary fountain pen finds
some new trouble with it every week.
SomerOille Journal
Polite Passenger-"Pardon me, siri
Can sit down in this seatln Old Sour
boY-''Well, presume you can if you
try hard enough. l didn't have any
trouble. "-Boston Times.
She (enthusiastically)-"Oh,Geo Georgel
don't you think the greatest joy in life is
the pursuit of the good, the true and the
beautifulG" He-"You bet that's why
I'm here tonight. Huntington Free
| Press.
Little Ethel went to church with her
| grandmother, and for the first time put
ten cents in the contribution plate.
Leaning over she whispered very audi
bly,, "That's all right, grandma paid
for two. ."-Jtdge
One morning in garden bed
The onion and the carrot said
Unto parsley group;
"Oh, when shall we three meet again
In thunder lightning, or in rainY'
"Alasp exclaimed in tones of pain
The parsley-'In the soup"
Philadelphia Pre-
The baseballists business is pickin.-
up, the football players is rushing, the
eronaut's is in the air, the dry-goods
sellers is rip-tearing, the hackman's is
driving, the washerwoman manages to
scrub along, and the bunco-man finds
plenty to "do. ."-Puek.
The bucket shop known as "The
Sockdolager" failed yesterday for the
seventeenth time this month. The cause
of the suspension is stated to have been
that customer was, by an oversight Of
a clerk, allowed to win $3.50, and de-
manded his money --,Ildge