The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-11-30

Whereas, No serious plague or famine
or war has laid waste the far face OF
the republic; and
Whereas, The wages of a crew of near
~ thirty men working in a button fac
tory in Vineland, n. j., have been ad-
vanced IS per cent. ad valorem since the
passage of the Mckinley bill; and
Whereas, Now times begin to brighten
mp all over our land as a result of the
payment of my election bets; and
Whereas, The man who was on the
stump few weeks ago, and now in the
pottages, has ceased to state that we are
nov upon the eve of one of the most i'm
por4ant elections in the history of this or
any other country; and
Whereas, The reception of the literary
works of folstoi and McAlfster have
given us good reason to believe that the
scavenger and the snob must still keep
outside of good society; and
Whereas, feel like it;
Therefore, l, Edgar Wilson Nye, Of
the county of Richmond, and state of
New York, do hereby constitute and
set aside the Thursday following the
publication of this proclamation as
day of general Joy and thanksgiving
throughout the land.
The year last past has been one of al
most unexampfed prosperity from the
subscribers standpoint, and Thanks
giving proclamations are generally writ
ten by a man who is feeling pretty COM
Portable himself. The year has indeed
been real prosperous. Our growth
throughout the length and breadth Of
The land has been phenomenal, and in
some cases reprehensible. If padding
had been as high before the census was
taken as 1T is now many United States
cities would have been eTether much de-
pressed in figures or hopelessly in debt.
Another cause for congrstulation is that
for q few months New York has not
been ashamed of her babies, bringing
out many from concealment and count
ing the noses of nations yet unborn.
Over and above all, we congratulate
everybody and shake hands with voters
and ourselves because the election is
over. The loud smelling torch and can
didate have been laid aside till another
time, and the campaign he, with a large,
irregular naj1hole in it, Is in the bell
box Of the country paper.
There are many causes for personal
graduation and congTatulation. The
stout lady who had room above mine
at the boarding house, and who was
jumping the rope m order to reduce her
weight, has decided that il is not bene-
6ting her and has ceased. We are having
q new ceiling put on my room. Also to the
roof OF my head / do not find large
pieces Of plaster in my bed in the morn
ing. and soon can take of the piece l
have on my nose.
But the clearing up Of the political at
mosphere is the chief cause for national
Joy, and the greatest. Why, by the way,
should we have elections 50 frequently?
d they were two or three times as far
srart we could almost afford TO let con-
Zress pass any bill it wanted 70, and we
could meet n with cur savings from gin
and kerosene And to whom does the
ETeab bHOISlcss sca VI NteAA p4A5A A. A4Nt7
20, Does it go to tne church or the
state, the widow or the orphan, the hon
ess industrious or afflicted.
Nay, beautiful reader with the violet
breath; nay, soft voiced reader with
the high, intellectual sealskin shoulders
IN YOUR wrap, the grand old ocean Of
campaign funds steals not up 20 lave the
fest of the starving. or cool the brow OF
tbs invalid II quenches not the thirst
If the dying and it sOftens not the bed
Of suffering.
| The campaign fund lnbTicates the
wheels Of swift rolling jobs. Il prints
and distributes tracts. which nobody
reads Il buys the services Of unmuslc-
| Il bands, whSse notes are protested on
every corner, and the juice Of whose alto
hons Is favored with TIE demon rum
| L buys coal 0l which seeks % 0utstench
the record Of the Candidate
| Il buvs orztory which vCcld make the
auditorium Of periitIon hiss, and create
a coolness even among the hands n re
gngine room of Satsn's great expedition
I. BUYS speeches that would empty a
u1ioa depot. speeches that would stop :
| elock. SPEECHES that v1ald -s-2oT~ sripeT-
fuous hair. speeches that would cut
+ holes n = steak. ere-c.Is- that would -
move warts, speoches tA2s wS--S srcz<