The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1890-11-21
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.
--Fooling with dynamit is getting to
be nearly as dangerous as trying to
thrash an editor.-Ram's Horn.
The way to do any thing that is
hard to do, is to roll up your sleeves and
go right at it.-Ram's Horn.
! "A level surface is fiat, but there is
distinction between level-headed man
and a flat-head9d one. - Pittsburgh
: Chronicle Telegraph.
--Whangle-"So Peck is dead, is hep
What were the old fellows last words?'
Jangle-"He didn't have any. His wife
was with him when he died" - Boston
, Traveller.
Accommodating - Johnson-"Will
you please carry this demiiohn to my
house, Jackson?" Certainly, if there's.
anything in it."-Yankec Blade.
The world rarely praises man I'M
til after he dies" Acknowledgement
that's about all the world can find to-
praise him for. Epoch.
There is Joy in heaven when prodi--
gal returns, but Didn't 1 tell you SOP"
! is the universal Cry on earth when a.
good man goes wrong.-Ram's Horn.
80, John, I've lost the diamond out
of my engagement ring" That's all
right, so long as you didn't lose tho ring
itself. It's gold, you know. "-Philadel-
phia Times
-Husband-'Is this canned chicken
or canned lobster, Ethel?" Wife-"I
don't know, John. The label had been
torn off the can before opened it" -
Somerville Journal
He docking dreamily into his cup)
-"Whats this-a miracle?" She (indig--
nantly)-"Why, no; that's coffee, and
good coffee, too" He-"Well, isn't that
a miracle" -Pittsburgh Chronicle.
II have met the best tennis players
in the land, but I've never been beaten
''How wonderful! Why don't you enter,
the tournaments" 81 never play
Harper's Bazaar.
TO Intricate his words.-Miss De
Gimp docking through the samples of
a drummer for a material house,
What do you carry this little oil can
for?' The Drummer-''I wear that under
my tongue when | tackle a rough Gus
toner. "-Jewelers' Weekly.
1t is said to have been discovered by
science that the wind always moves in
circle, but no explanation has been
made as to how it happens that when
the playful zephyrs seize hold of mans
hat they always make straight shoot
for the nearest mudpuddle. - Rams
Horn.
Wife (revisiting the scene of her
betrothaD-'T remember, Algernon, so.
well when you proposed to me. How
painfully embarrassed you were!" Alger-,
non Yes, dear; and | remember so,
we'll how kind and encouraging you
were. and how very easy you made it
for me, after all."-Harper's Bazaar.
The Change of Styles.-Mrs. Cumso,
--"Fashions make great changes in our
hired girls. l used to be greatly both
cred by my servants borrowing my
dresses" Mrs. Banks-"And don't they
still trouble you?" Mrs. Cumso-"O,
no. 1t is my husband that is in for it.
now. They borrow his clothes."-
Racket.
-Wise-"Why do you always carry
two cigar-cases?" "Well, you see, the,
black one is for those l smoke myself,
and in the red one l carry those l give
to my friends who have forgotten theirs,
and | find that they arc not very apt to,
do that the second time when they are
coming to my house. "-Fliegende Blat-
ter.
First Citizen-'No, sir; I'll never
give my vote to Brass. If all reports
are true he has actually paid money for
votes" Second Ditto-"You don't mean
it; but whom can we vote for?'
There's Smart Eyes, but he's an
ignoramus and his regulations none of
of the sweetest" Granted. But Smart,
has given our church 500 and has.
promised to double it next month"
$50? Well, guess on the whole we'd
better support Smart Anyhow, l can't.
vote for Brass. l detest bribery and re-
fuse to encourage it."-Boston Tran
script.