Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1890-03-22
BACKWOODS BELLIES. !"
THE "REC0RD-UNIoN's CORRESPOND
ENTs IN MORE TROUBLE.
B. b." in Replying to Laura" Uncon-
sciously Brings Suspicion on An
other of the Lakeport Bellies.

Do tell Us, Mr. Editor, who "B. B." is.
We are all dying to know. Lots and lots
of people here thought wrote that lovely
article under the heading "Backwoods
Bellies, and signed "B. B." I'm consid-
cred the best-looking girl in town, and I'll
tell you what may make lot of mis-
takes in grammar and murder the Queens
English to an alarming degree, but know
some things. Every day when l go down
to the butchers shop for meat can hear
the fellows who stand around the livery
stables and the saloon corners remark.
Just loud enough for me to hear, "By
George amt she cute! y and "Golly she's
q sumner - and a lot more nice things
and when l go to bed at night just lay
awake for hours and hours and think about
what they said.
B. b. said she had been to Kelsey Vile
and that Laura" had been abroad but
law Mr. Editor, they can't hold candle
to me for travel Why, l came way
back from Missouri only four years ago.
Then, think "B. B. told fb when
she said Jack was her beau, for he ain t
he's mine, and has been ever since came
to Lakeport. He's the only Jack in town,
aud if there was another I'd know it, be-
cause know all the fellows there is. The
girls are all wild over Jack, because he's so
handsome and debonair. II learned that
las. word out of a novel called The Rusty
Blade; or, The Horrible Fate of the
Butcher" that me and Jack read last Sun.
day evening when pa and ma were at
church }
| never got acquainted with Laura so
l didn't ger chance to learn French like
''B. B " did, but l asked granny what ennui
was, and told her "B. B. said young ladies
here never had it. Why, granny said she
hoped they didn't haveit in such healthful
climate as Lake county has, for ennui is
most horrible disease-a great ceal worse
than choiera-and she knew young lady
who died OF it only three hours after she
YVES taken down.
think il is great deal nicer here than
1t is in Missouri, and pa and ma and me
put on heap more STYLE here than we did
back yonder. We belong to the elite
that's what Jack says il is and Jack knows
whole lois; but he says IFS all right, even if
DO make mistake once in while. He
says the fellows don't care whether girl
knows anything or not, just SO she has
pretty face and looks stylish.
Pa can't get used TO the styles somehow.
He has to wear collar and q necktie when
he goes to church, and Oh my the way be
does cuss about them before he starts
would make Satan himself blush Pa
wants to go back TO Missouri, bat ma won't
let him. He says this kind of living de-
presses him. n misses the hogs from the
front porch, and when welived in Missouri
he would pour the swill right out on the
kitchen floor, and the hogs and chickens
and ducks and turkeys would come right
In and make themselves at home, and
cd fnr fahl
homelike.
Aie and ma took him TO q pan cake social
on the 9TH of this month, and he got awful
mad because the maple sugar they had
didn't taste exactly like it does in Missouri.
Just as if California maple sugar could
taste ike Missouri maple sugar! Ma re-
monstrated with him, but he got so mad
and swore so loud, that me and ma had to
take him home.
They nave lots of nice times here. They
have W. c. I. o., and the ladies all agree
beautifully; but they let a few men in, to
kind OF help them along when they wanted
to present petition to the Board of Super
visors to call an election and decide
whether they should have saloons here or
no saloons. The men got the petition all
ready and circulated it among the people,
but some way It didn't quite suit the ladies,
so they called a meeting ana ali talked at
OICei anu lney just ndd picnic. JACK
says he guesses they'll let the petition rusti-
cate for while, and the saloon men are all
wearing ten-acre grin. 1t must be awful
to get left.
They are going 10 have a reading-room
here for gentlemen" not ladies. Ne and
Jack didn't like the last part one bit, for
we thought we'd have a fine place to court,
but that little scheme was nipped in the
bud.
The weather is beautiful now, and me
al Jack take long walks. Jack says it's
god for me 10 take constitutional every
da9 Il guess he must take good many
sometimes, from the smell of his breath
Bu | never say anything about it to him
ne, been so good 10 me, and he drives
lovely horses, and l can't afford to have
him get mad.
The Native Daughters are going to hold
an open meeting next Wednesday evening
and l wish, Mr.. Editor you could be here
They have such nice times, end have pro-
NOTED social feeling to remai zable degree
this winter.
Now, Mr. Editor, I'll tell ycn more about
Lakeport in my next, and M, De by that
time I'll find out who B. B." is. IA
Teg0ir. c, C.
Lakeport, March 18th.