The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1890-05-15
John Aliens First Legal Victory.

"Private John Allen" of Mississippi,
who became the wit of the house OF rep
resentatiyes with the death ofSunset Cox,
tells good story on himself of how he
came to be profound lawyer.
A party of members were telling yarns
in the cloak room of the house yesterday,
and when Aliens turn came he told this
one:
IT want to tell you of the greatest legal
victory of my life," said Allen, as he
lighted cigar and propped his feet
'sIt vas down in Tupelo, during the try
ing period just after the war. was at
that time practicing lawyer, that is l
practiced whenever [ had any cases to
practice with.
One day old uncle Pompey, one of
the old negroes of the settlement, came
into my Office and said:
"Mars John, I want you to cl'ar me.
rs gwine to be rested for stealin' of two
hams out of the cross road store"
"'Mars John, just took 'em.'
"'Well Pompey,' I asked, Did you
steal the hams 2
"'Mars John, I just took 'em.'
"sDid any one see you p asked.
."sYas, Boss said the old negro, dis.
consolately, two ole white buckras.'
"tWell, Pompey, I replied, i can't do
anything for you under the circumstan-
ces.'
"'Now, Mars John, here's ten dollars.
I jist want you to try
"Well, I consented to try" said Allen.
'The case wss to be tried before an old
magistrate named johnson. He was to-.
tally uneducated, and was moreover a
perfect dictator, and no negro ever came
before him who was not fined the maxi
mum penalty and sent to the field to ex-
plate the crime in the sweat of his brow.
"The magistrate heard the case.
Every possible proof was brought to
show that Pompey stole the hams.
| There could be no doubt of it from the
testimony. I did not put a single ques.
tion to any of the witnesses, but when
the testimony was all in, I arose, and in
my most digni6ed manner addressed the
magistrate: :,
May it please your Honor, it would
/ be useless for me to argue the position
he holds, and before one who would
adorn the superior if not The supreme
court bench of this grand commonwealth.
And I may say that those who know best
say that you would grace even the su-
preme court of the United States, the
highest tribunal in the land. 1t will be
useless to dwell upon the testimony
/ You have heard it. and know the case as
well as do. However, it may not be
out of order for me to call your Honor's
attention to a short passage in the old
English law, which clearly decides the
case, and which, for the moment, your
Honor may have forgotten.
"Then I fshed down into my pocket
and drew forth with great flourish, an
old copy of Julius Cesar I opened it
with great dignity to the first page and
read the line which is familiar to every
school boy, 'Omnia Golia IN tres divisa
est.' THAT decides the case,' throwing
the book upon the table. That clearly
acquits the defendant
with great dignity and solemnity
toak my seat. The old magistrate was
completely nonplussed. He looked at
me moment quizzically and scratched
his head. Then, turning to Pompey, he
raised himself to his full height aud
said !:
"'Pompey I know you stole them
hams, but by the ingenuity of your law,
yer I've got to let you 60. Git out said
he, as he planted his No. 8 in the seat ol
Pompey's pants, 'and you ever come
here again, lawyer or no lawyer, you git
] six nnnnths AtLnntn GhnStitnti0n