Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1890-01-10
unclEs BEN AND DAN.
Some idea Of tho Way They Entertain u
Country Store Crowd.

| Some idea of tho Way They Entertain ths
Country store Crowd.
When Uncle Ben and Uncle Dan hap
pen TO meet in the country store there
is sure to BIO some fun. The audience
gathers quietly, posts itself on conven-
lent broom-racks, butter-tubs and fiouI
barrels, with premium for the seat
nearest the dried prune box; and after
all are seated, and the clock carefully
set back, the master of ceremonies, IN
the person of the senior partnes' Oh
serves insinuatingly:
81 b'lieye you At in tn war, upel,e
Beng -
Uncle Ben,s ''haow?p is followed by 0
reiteration of the remark, pitched in q
key that joggled china wash-basin of
one of the upper shelves, and tho per
formance begins.
"I'll allow l did, frcn' Turk, an nj
hard, too. Ne an Dan here went in. in
81, in Cap. Bill Mulcher's'comp'ny an
didn' como out till Gineral Lee said he
thought it was kinder 'propriato that
we'd orter. Didn't we, Dan?"
''No," from Uncle Dan, who hasn't
grooved into tho drift of the converse
ton at all.
"'Mcmber tn the time when we was
green sojers, Dan, an you got lost In
that air cypress swamp down to Shelby
villo, an swum out an rcskercd yor
on my back, just as that air copper
headed snake was goin' to sting ye?
Member that?"
Gauots tol trfn~ a1,Nt,t tha opr,vrf ya11q
Bilford in Uncle Dams ear Wants to
know If you remember about the snake
incident down at Shelbyville."
"DoI?' cmits Uncle Dan, waking up;
"bet your d'rogatory life do! Why, Ben
not only seen snakes, but, after we got
him out of tn tent and tn apple-jack
fog horn worn of OF him a lettle, t was
all we could do to keep him from runnin'
down ter tn cypress swamps to chase u
blue COW with yallcr wings that he said
he seen swimmin' acrost tn crick.
at was Jest about week afore ! got
shot plum b'tween tn eyes leadin' my
comp'ny into llell's Oven down near TIL
Millyille crossroads; so | member "
WE'LL"
l1CIC tiiCA ibNh piNtAS Al
at warn't a great while arter that
that Daniel got stuck in tn back Of tn
neck with nail out of mule-shoe, an
you orter heard him yell while tn med
icine man was pryin' it out He sent
messages to all his fren's, an give me
his watch for lynn an sayin'. when got
home, that he died with his face to tn
foe.
Then was great days gents, great
days. Why, dnrin' the siege OF Peters
burg, when shells as big as dog-kennels
was droppin' out OF tn sky, an powder.
smoke was so thick that tn fellers used
ter lean against IL when they got tired,
ulster sit up on top OF tn earthworks
IN play poker with our Major, jest as
cool, an with more satisfaction than as
IL was playin' with Zeb Dresser on that
barrel he's settin' on.
"only trouble was that every once in
awhile mimic ball would hit our chip
stacks, an then we'd have divide up an
begin all over ag'in,
~ wuz speakin' bout Petersburg,
Daniel. Reo'lect that summer" This
III u lOp -noFA NOASc tuab SOuiu W hSeAN
in trance.
~ rec'lect," responds Uncle Dan,
"that you bought out 5; ng r, tn sutler,
bout two weeks afore the siege began;
an reports ulster come to us ROSTERS at
tn front that you was maxim money
hand over fist an sendin' it home; that's
what rec'lect."
"These fcllers here don't know nothin'
bout war, Daniel" replies tho old fell
low, who thinks his friend has substan-
tiated his story. And thus the fight
COOS on until nine o'clock comes; the
shutters are put up, and the unwilling
audience disperses.
A last word comes back from Uncle
Dan as they disappear in the gloom,
yelled at the top of his voice. 1t is;
Don't draw 1t too hard on 'em. Ben.
They'll think we're lyin'."-Puck.