St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1890-11-29

The wings of the house were surprised
when the chimney hue.- Maryland Ga
zette.
THE hustle is q thing of the past, says
an exchange. 1t always was little be-
hind.-Er
Something that speaks louder than
words-A 5O-cent tip to the water.-Bos
ton G0zette
Jaggs-"P awnbrokers are ornery cusses'
Baggs-"Yes; but you have to put up
with them. he.
When the face of the small boy has set
look it is evidence TIA; mischief is about to
be Matched -Er.
Something attractive in the way Of a
cigarette holder-A pretty girls mouth
Rochester Post Frpre5s.
Courtesy doesn't cost much. but it pays
a mighty big interest on the Investment
Ame7 icnn Con1mercia 1'r00cker.
If women were elected to our leg SIS
lures there would be no scarcity of candi-
dates for spraker.-Hearney Enterprise.
We have at last solved the mystery why
tailors put buttons on the cuffs of cAnt
sleeves. 1t is to tear out overc)a. Innings
and get themselves a ob.-Er.
MiLister-''S) YOU saw some boys fish
ing on the Sabbath, my boy Did you do
anything to discourage them? Small
Boy-"Ies, sir, stole their bait"
One of the hea hen customs which lady
missionaries have to get used TO is not to
look pleased when natives tell them their
babies look S Heet enough to eat.-Er.
II don't see how Jones has ever made
such success, said one of his friends 10
| another. He never says anything"
"May be that's the reason" was the reply
Caller - Has your daughters married
life so far proved happv one, Mrs. Ver-
non q Mrs. Vernon-"Very. Her hus
band, you know, is a travelling ssl- sman."
| -Ep0ch.
| If a man wants his wife to believe that
! he is genius his wisest plan Is TO persuade
her of it before he gets married. He will
generally fDd it easier then.-Somernl!s
Journn!.
Before marriage, when there is plenty
of love, they make it, and after marriage,
when little of the ante nuptiaI folly
would be desirable, they cease to make it.
-RingAampt0n Herald.
Hnks-"They tell ma there was fire
down to your girls house this morning
Gibbs (%alking with limp)-TLat SO?
| Hadn't heard of it. | knew there was one
last night. "-kea7neu Enterprise.
Newwed-"Do you ever give your wife
any jew elrv?' Odwed-'I gave her
piece of j-welrv once, and I've greeted it
ever since" wed-"W hat WAS 1t :"
Oldwed-"A wedding ring. "-Ep0ch.
Paddys description of fiddle is as fol-
lows: lit was the shape of turkey and
| tho of ha turned
its back and rubbed is belly with stick.
and och st. Patrick how it did squale >
Two little bo7s were at the circus look
ing at the elephant. After the elder boy
had given the animal several oranges and
nuts, the little fellow cried out. ooh, pa,
can't give the other tail something. toof'
Brown-"You show good deal of bov-
ish enthusiasm over your coming trip to
Europe. Why, you've crossed several
times before, haven't your RJbnson-
Yes, but this is my first trip without nv
wife. '-Epoch.
1t is one of the strange things in life
that not one of those swe tempered soft
voiced, gentle hearted and velvet handed
women we see about US daily ever reaches
the distinction of being mother in law
Binqhampton Leader.
First Politician-"They say that you
never would have been elected if you
hadn't given the boys full swing at the
bar of the hotel" Second Ditto-"Well,
; what of that2' Nothing partisan about
.. me. I'm inn .dependent.-Er
, J.nx-'Dd the Slasher accept your
storvY Binx-"No. They said it was
; unit for publication" Jinx-"Why, there
, was nothing in it to bring blush TO the
. most innocent cheek" Binx-"That 5
why it was unfit. "-Er.
Young Suiter Enormously approaching
7 the sub ec1 Mr. Bind, your daughter is
iust-iust the sweetest girl in the world,
5 and l. Pater (beDignantly) And you
, want me to make sort of sugar trust out
of YOU? Well take her and be- happy -
Pits6urg Bulletin.
A Scotch dominic who had argued long
4 with female psrishioner over certain oi5.
Luted religious questions al last exclaimed
1 IN despair, It's no use arguing with you
, any longer; you are not open TO conVlc-
ton" Whereupon the irate but triumph
' ant dame responded, Il am open to con-
! vic.ion, but Just SHOW ME the man that
y can convince me.
A Williamsport girl who in the matter
I of beauty and sffectona,e exuoefance wa
not to say fresh as hrst love and rosy as
q the dawn was aske why she did not get
= married, and this is what she said in re-
. ply: Il have considerable money OF my
4 own, | have parrot that can swear ana
4 monkey that chews tobacco, SO that | nave
: no need of a husband. Oil CltA Biz@aFd