The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1890-03-11
DOCTORS PlATiTUDES.
How They CaJole, Humnr, Mystify and
Relieve Then Patients.

HOW 1ney SaJOie, "sosiAy 'Ao
Relieve Then Patients
''Illness is always serious" is one
of the stock phrases OF the business
like doctor. 'Persevere with the
medicine" is a stock remark worth
several hundred a year to some men
we know The professional ar
which is now acquired requires
genius to originate. but it Is easy
enough to affect it. The Abel Drug
gers are dying the death. The pubic
nowadays objects to being made Ill.
and, as a rule, in the better class OF
practices, medicines are either sup
piled free of charge, or prescriptions
are written; but generally the people
in the middle ranks of life who en-
ploy the general practitioner object
TO 90 to a chemist for medicines; CON
sequently the drugs are dispensed by
the doctor. We fear that many of the
most successful of general practition-
ers owe their position simply to their
proficiency in the art Of pleasing.
u never contradict a patient" one
of the most astute of our friends used
to remark Curious are the ,expe-
riences on this head; we will give a
case in point. Mrs. A came regular.
ly to the surgery of a professional
friend; her disorder was chronic. In
sober truth, she simply fancied that
her skin was too tight for her. For
months the bi-weekly consultations
continued The practitioner was
aware that the lady was malade inn
aginaire, and he rang the changes on
tonics and placebos They did no
harm; he argued they might do good
by their effect on the mind. At length
our friends conscience began to prick
him. He hemmed, he hawed; at last
he told Mrs. A. in polite language that
she had nothing the matter with her.
Mrs. A. rose indignant. 'And have
you been physicking me all this time
if nothing was the matter2" Mrs A
left in rage, and, walking straight
TO another practitioner in the neigh
borhood, she explained to him that
our friend did not understand her
constitution :" in fine, that he had COM
mitted the browning sin Of telling her
that she had no disorder. The rival
practitioner was wise man. He sym
pathized, he prescribed, he is possibly
prescribing still, and still, probably,
the unfortunate lady suffers from the
skin, which is too tight. This is no
historic pour rire; it is solemn fact.
One of the most tradesmen like prac-
titioners we know, in defending what
we fear can only be called charlatan-
ism, remarks: ''They lileit, sir. They
will have it." This practitioner al
ways uses the stethoscope, and takes
the patients pulse with sphygmo-
graph; he has the reputation among
his numerous patients Of being a very
scientific man; he has a large and
wealthy connection in a fashionable
suburb. Really his ignorance is Grass
Many general practitioners seek to
dazzle their patients by a dashing
turnout, an affectation of hurry and
hustle. One eminent accoucheur is
said to have actually driven himself
into practice. He was known to his
confreres as "Jehu." He affected q
yellow brougham and a pair of car
riage dogs; he drove with jobbed
horses at rate of about fourteen
miles an hour; he soon became talked
of, and died a rich man. The clever
practitioner never Fingers" he makes
himself desired, and lets the patient
conclude that his moments are pre-
cious. AS rule, in general practice
the patient is never told he has moth
ing the matter with him. HE must
be i'll or he wouldn't come to me" is
the natural sophistry of the general
practitioner. He is probably right; for
there is something consoling to the
generality Of people in the mere seeing
of doctor. AS a rule, the general
practitioner, if an honest man, succeeds
in gaining his patients confidence
Saturday Review.