davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1890-08-29

ST. JOSEPH, Mo, Aug. 2s.-The
first business before the national
encampnent, Sons OF Nvsv:nrs.
today, was the election Of national
officers for the ensuing year. For
c0mmanieT-!u-chicf, l.. q. Webb,
colonel Of the Kansas division, and
w. Z. Bundy, colonel Of the Ohio
division, were the favoTite-. After
several ballots Colonel Webb sec
ured the honor. The election Of the
other officers was plsip)nei until
tomorrow.
The judges OF the prize drill
awarded 81. Paul Camp the fret
prize, $500. The command 10
which had been referred the case Of
Past Commander Payne reported
back the matter for settlement by
the full convention. a motion to
posspoiie indefinitely the eonsiIeT-
alton OF the report vas ca:.!ci.
The Ladies' Aid Society this az.
ternoon elected Mrs. Ella l.. Jones.
Altoona, Penn, president; Mrs.
Atwood, Of Colorado, chief cOun-
cilOr.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1890-08-29
MEMBERS OF THE FAMILY GIVE
CHASE.
The Work Of Senator's and Repre-.
Soniatires in Washinyton's
Capitol Yesterday.
The ETTEmPT TO POISON IS
MAIL PAsHA.
Tragedies in san Francisco and IIli-
noiS.-Murder and Suicide
in 4 Saloon.
By Telegraph t. the news
ELOPED WITH A HULNTrR.
10 Vas n HandSsuie Richmond
Brunetto-s Strange Faney.

10 Vas n HandSsuie Richmond
Brnretio-s Strange Fancy.
NEW YORK. Aug. ss.-George
Il. Bascomb and son, Handsome
members of the r. +. VS., passed
through this city yesterday looking
for negro who had run or with
the daughter anu sister. a belu iful
girl. She has for three years been
ane Of the bellies Of Richmond, Va.
4 handsome brunette ofal, tall aud
graceful, We'll educated and refined,
She was surrounded 10y a host Of
admirers and sIitons. TO all Of whom
she turned deaf ear, preferring 10
remain At home. Is she did.
About six months ago she appar.
emily rclsntei la her determination,
aud her engagement was an
mounted 20 a young llwyer in
Petersburg. The proposed match
met with the approval Of Miss
Basc0mb's family, and the we'd
ding was fixed to take place next
October.
About two years ago a mulattO
named Henry Strange was en-
plgyei 10y Mr.. Bascomhe as dri-er
anu general utility man. In this
wly lie u-cgme acquainted with the
handsome SUGthcru belle, who fell
ia love gith him. They hal many
opportunities Of meeting. and no
one suspected the intimacy existing
between them.
= LITTLE r-r- 2 month no, Miss
BIs,umb came north 10 visit n
former schUolnlate, = Miss Isrmerite,
living az NewIrk. i week ago she
ieit fer home. She did not reach
there. Several days ago her parents
AZ Richmond received a letter from
the girl dat-l 1t Worcester, Mass,
which real:
Dear Papa aud Mamna-T hope
you VIII forgive me foE what I have
done. / love you s!l. hut l love
Henry more ard cannot give him
up. ! am married b him and will
stick = him always. He is as good
rs he can bc. Ask John (her be-
trotheil u forgive me, but | never
loved him. ! know what Eve done,
what you viii say, hat I CJulI no:
help 1t. Your saccJsraie laugh
ter. MINNIE"
TIE receipt Of this letter complete,
" Frustrated Mrs. B lsclmb, while
the father AM brother Of the girl
decided 70 follow the ruulways, but
more for vcTg, auce on her husband
than for love Il Minnie.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1890-08-29

BUESA VISA, Aug. 2S.-A con-
tract between the Colombian gov
eminent and J. L. Cheny, 81 NIL
waukee, FOR the completion or the
Cacca Railroad from Buena Ven
tura TO Cali aud Maneznares was
signed In B3s0ia on the s5th In
slant. The contract includes the
privilege OF building extensions 10
the Gulf n Durien on tn. north aud
70 the frontier OF Ecuador on the
sJuth and Cauca River 20 Magda'
lena River AMI the navigahle
waters Of TIE Amazon r. liver,
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1890-08-29

What i, q Gold ia .he heat, Med
iCal authorities say K = due TO an
even clothing e - body. rapid
cooling when ia Precipitation, etc.
The important point l.. that a cold
in the head j. an Inclination % the
lining membrane % the nose which.
"a hen unchecked, Is certain TO FRO.
iucc y catarrhal C1ndiii0u-'cr ca
tlrrh is essentially a .'sHid'' which
u.,,,,,rC is 40 lcugCrAlle 10 resolve
or throw of. Eiy's Cream Balm has
proved it, .uperirEity, aGi suuv:es-
.houid resort 20 % hrfo-e that con-
mon ailmcnt beClm=s seated and
ends in obstinate cl,aFFh.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1890-08-29
The nj hIEau Republicans.

MICHIGAN, Aug. sS.-The repub-
lican Stale convention met today
aud adopted resolutions commend
ing Hlrris0n's administration and
the codrse OF Speaker Reed. The
resolutions declared for free ballot,
and fails count, but Wer. silent on
the fu.ce bill. The silver bill was
endorsei and such a revision Of the
tariff demanded as will protect the
producers, labOrers and farmers
against the ruinOus competition Of
foreign productions and cheaper
labor, aud especially comments
those features u the Mckinley bill
which provides for the protection Of
farm products, rs well rs manufaC-
tured articles
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1890-08-29
~ inn Isn-.Ian Tera.-

ST. PETERSBURG, August =
Threc-quartens q the town q h
neshmc has been destroyed by fire
The damage J. estimated 10 ., C1l, 90
rUubies. In addition o. the luss O
their homes the people are suffering
from lack 81 food aud great distre>'
prev aii-. Serious fires are alsJ rr
ported al Orc!lud-kursS. 4 nlrb;ua
vessel burned 40 the wharf a. BI
toum. The captain and two sailor.
were killed.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1890-08-29
FRIDAY 20 1890 SALT LAKE CITY UTAH TERRITORY
4 san nomIn=s I:e,elusIsr

New YORK, Aug. 2S.-Accorjins
to information received yesterday
from san Domingo by the Clyde
steamer SIgiaU,C, another ruv1lG-
tirn i about % bgeak out IN that r.
public. IN emissary of the rrv0lu-
ii0nary general, Ex-Nice-Pre='teui
Casimiro M0ya, d 10 PRESENT In this
country, purchasing guns aud am
muniiiJn with which the 4evulu-
tionary forces are 20 be equiplel.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1890-08-29
AnuIInnI, rrnrsdr.

DECATUR ILL.,, Aug. Is. - An
atrOciOus murder and attempted sui
eide occurred here Today. This
meaning Mrs. Lima Matthias, sgei
@ years, the mother Of three small
children AMI the wife Of Col. Adam
Matthias, was found murdered In 4
field not Ear from her home, her
threat being cut from ear 10 ear.
There was every appearance Of n
desperate struggle. William Craw.
ford, who formerly worked for Ma
thias, was suspected Of the crime
and officers drove eight miles into
The country to capture him. When
he saw the officers coming he cut
his own throat aud died soon after
wanls.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1890-08-29
EVER KNOW, ~ THIS CITY.

Black Ores Grain SILK al e9ai vsF,h go
7Cc.; Sc.
?sc; SLlO.
cosrsd SIX at &c., Soc ard SO the Biggest Bargains
offered this SEASON.
lima Of sana5r SIX usually sold al &c., 6oc AM 75c;
20 p5sos Of black Bunting at &c. aCc and 22c worth 2Oc
Csc. aud Sec.
/ lol OF Plain Dark GTssadiss al c. worth 2Oc
/ I5s Of Fiaara5 Linen Lawns at ioc; worth 25c
LOT Of Bsess Li1aHsai &c
lot Ira Linens ys fF ST. p yis for 81 10 yds for ST.
tennis Fa1zs.s II &c., Werih &c., and &c. worth 2oe
F4i FEs Sill S!lipe TENTS Faanels al &c.; yorth &c.
l!-t of Pyialsd weei Caallies al i2-o.; worth Csc
Lot Of Ladies Embroidered Bsss Patterns SLCo anu SH'0'
oae-suazisr itO cost oooo
LOT Of Bays' Low Cui ShO 5 ii S25; worth SSOe
Iof If ss Low Cut Shoes size 10 u az $780, These goods
ygsr5 sold fcr S5G9.
Ie CIoE To7 Kid BaloE Shoes at Slse; worth $3.50
Ia i igs and CndEsns Cieh Tog Kd Button Shoes at
81 Is and S225; worth SEQ and S6oO ~
Tsss and Cidrsas Straw as a. iOc, l5c, 2Sc: &c. Soc
and 75c; iaese are half price.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1890-08-29
mHSnfuEtou News

WASHINGTON, Aug. 9s.-The
Secretary Of the Navy sent to the
House today q reply TO the House
resolution adopted August 5th, d.
recting him to inform the House Of
the necessity Of increasing the fCrce
employed al the kittery navy yard.
near Portsmouth,, y. H., ar ordered
by the Department; whether the
interests Of the public service n.
quire the reconstruction CT the pub
lie buildings there destroyed 10y fire.
etc. Ia reply the Secretary says
that the necessity for the increase In
the working force in the month Of
July was due 10 the fact that the
appropriations FOR the current fiscal
year became available July ist. al
these appropriations some were tC
lie applied 20 new work specifically
directed 10 the act; others for new
work authorized in general terms,
which could only be undertaken
when the funds for the new fiscal
year became available; others e
complete work partly completed
which had been suspended OWNS
20 the exhaustion Of the appropria
tons. To whichever class tn,
work belonged, ii involved an IT.
crease Of the force during the month
| Of July.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1890-08-29
The Southern Republicans.

RALEIGH, NC, Aug. 2s.-The
republican State convention met to-
day. The bitter contests between
John B. Eaves and DIR. J. ]. Mott,
leaders Of factions in the western
part 81 the State, were reconciled.
Smith, ex-minister to Liberia, Is
temporary chairman.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1890-08-29

SAN Francisco. Aug. 2S.-This
evening, during a dispute about a
debt, John NJ. Cheuogith, pro-
prieicc Of The Peerless saloon CT this
city. shot and kiiis3 Richani T.
Carroll, = waA known Wholesale
liquor dealer aad then committed
.aicide,
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1890-08-29
Hoods SarsapariIIa
100 poses One Dollar
President brigham Young
U.uasr.

is ms intention 20 compile al!
my fathers letters for publication,
and l viii Re greatly obliged 10 s.'
those who have such letters H. they
will kindly forward them 20 JAMIE
\. Little, care Jgrsii's AEstrsc.lr
Office, salt Lake City, that Trey
may be correctly copied. All such
letters will ie most carefully
handled and returned safely 10 the
swuers. E,s.oc;fully,
IS JrHS w. NJCSG.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1890-08-29

SAY Francisco, Aug. ss.,-Tbi.
evening during a dispute about !,
debt, John NJ. Chsewith, pro1Tisso,
o. the Peerless saloon OF tbis Git
shot and killed Richsri T. c,Sai,
a vel known whosesais T,na,
dealer, and then pomgit,ed mi.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1890-08-29
rannan R.nnmin,,..I-

DANvILLE, I'LL, Aug. ss.-Tbe
Republicans Of the fifteenth district
renoninated Joseph q. Cannon 10
Congress 10. the tenth term.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1890-08-29

DFNvER, Colo, August Sd
James Corey, al old time citizen
and an emyl.ye OF the Denver
x Rio G.auJc Railway, Jr0predGeaC
u.1u the street Ibis evening OlEe1T,
disease.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1890-08-29

The best Thread f0r Hand CT Ma
chine Use j. Clash's "Aiiie End
White thread wound on Lack sp0ols
For sale by :. EELLSEE, New Dry
qoCds Store, 2-s and su7 =. Main
Street. tbr ( sat
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1890-08-29
Warrington prmscrn,s.

SEATTLE, Wash, Aug. 2s.-The
democratic State convention met
here today, and after affecting a
permanent Organization adjourned
till tomorrow,
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1890-08-29
TIIE SUBSTITUTE

Of the finance committee for the
paragraph as 70 oranges, lemons ani
lines was agreed 20. Party line.
were entirely disregariei in tbs
vote, many republican Senators y0t
ing against the committee amsnI.
ment, ami many dem Dcratic sena
tors for il.
Ia the paragraph relating 90 ntsl,
extracts, the clause that weight
shall include the extract auI the
tins, or jars, was, on motion o,
Carlisle, stricken oct.
The committee amendment, add
Ing indigo at cent n pound, was
on tue suggestion Of Aldrich, reject
eSl, and an additional paragraph in
serted putting duty Of ! cent pei
pound on wool grease and veriigris
The paragraphs were amended OF
the report Of the committee Icy ~
ducing the duty on chocolate anl
prepared Cocoa from 2 10 2 cents pei
pound.
In The paragraph relating to salt
fke Committee recommended the
striking cut the prOvisO for a rebate
McPhers0n moved 10 strike on
whole paragraph, except salt, II cent
per 100 pounds in packages and
cents in bulk, 80 A. 10 leave sat on
The free list. The vote on Neither
sons motion was-yeas Is, nays -
no quorum.
The bill was laid aside, between
ten aud eleven pages being dispose
Of today.
The House lard hill was presented
to the Senate and referred 30 tn,
committee on agriculture.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1890-08-29
THE JoHS ROACH ESTATE.

ketchum Of New York introduced
in the House today bill for the IT.
lief Of the estate OF John Roach.
The Bill appropriated Sl50,0l0 ia
payment for the Use and occupancy
OF his ship yards and plants by the
government, OF the cruisers -fsiaRtI.
boston, aui CsisZgo, Si3, 254 being
the costs or the stats Of the oTgani.
cations, one at Chester aud the other
at New York, appointed for the
completion Of these cruisers during
the delay aud Sls as being the
amounts 81 premiums Of insurance
paid GA the cruisers during this
time, in all S2s0.2l0.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1890-08-29
.s.,x,tsr,.-- work.

NEW YORK, Aag. Sat the
Monmouth Park meating yest-riay
SAlrstor lowered the nile record 10
J l;e5l.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1890-08-29
THE CADETS

Cutcheon OF Michigan introduced
in the House today a bill TO amend
the revised statutes relative 70 the
appointment OF cadets at West Point
Military Academy.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1890-08-29
REAaAN,s A,rENDNENI

Reagan today introduced n sabsti-
tute for has proposed amendment {,
the tariff bill, Proposing reciprocal
arrangements with Canada ami
Mexico for the free admission Of
manufactured articles and mineral
prpiurte4
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1890-08-29
Cafarria

CsiEiGstes ~ s.ufriTss ig'l' On che l.r-E
Hence the r=lFar method lg ail-s 60 cure
eaiguh. IS Co gr-.-T Pee t11E rs many
dlarrsCatie symI toms. sll ii.c dar-,r oil.
developing into ural-iiiis Or that t-rE. d
fsiai li-ss-c, cru.IIlEfi1a- als g-trliJ
Tru-rycd D. if1Ur- s-r-arzulIl. which
cares eatluh Ly TuTi'ylEs Use hood zE!
also tones Up TIE system -ld ally ial-
proves The cgaesal ts=l,h 81 tlSe v-r
take H. Re suTct 20 Eat
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1890-08-29

relating 10 shotguns, which was
also passed over without action, was
taken up. The question being on
the amendment OF the finance com
miitec 10 Substitute lot the All w
loren rate IL 80 per cent In the House
bill specific duties according o.
value, with IS per cent al valorem
in addition. the committee aft!euI'
ment vas modified by reducing the
duty on No. cllss shotguus, valued
at not more than s., from 81 to $3.50.
Agreed 10.
The regular course OF the bill was
resumed at the heading Farm and
Field Products"
Plumb moved to increase the
duty on castor beans or seeds from
81 20 50 cents per bushel. Agreed
to-.
Tie committee amendment 10 rc'
duce the duty on fax serd, linseeti
and other oil seeds from - TO =
cents per bushel was, at the sugges-
ton Of Aldrich, rejected,
The paragraph relating to hope
wac parsed over without action,
Graham having proposed to reduce
the duty on hons from Is to 5 cents
per pound.
The next paragraph, to reduce the
duty on garden seeds from ~ 10 .,
cents al valorem, was agreed to.
The substitute reported from tn,
finance committee 20 the paragraph
on tin cans containing shell FISH
was, at the suggestion OF Aldrich,
rejected, leaving the paragraph JUS
as IL came from the House.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1890-08-29
Hoods sarsaparlLla

Il suffered three y-ll. With ,a'Ir-H- aEl
my reueEal health vas poor Boz c-ss
queuer. When I t1os II'oI's Slr-T .r.a
I found I had the H-tt remedy. Il-
cat5rrh t. yielding. as HOSTS Stra-lriiE
j. cleansing my blroJ. -uIthc general toms
q my sysfeat f. Erug.u-.' FEaNE
M..rr.---r--- u.-L-..-r \ \
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-06-18

1t is strange, but a mans estimate
of himself if not accepted by the world
at par, falls very far short of it. The
first time l met the hero of Stone Riv-
er and Chickamauga, was at Sewell
Mountain, in West Virginia, render
ed memorable by both armies, both
confederate and union, retreating from
each other in unseemly haste. Rose
Grams had been at Cox's headquarters,
and, returning at late hour after
night, undertook to cut across lots to
his own tent.
Halt, there !" suddenly cried out
one of the guards.
my good man." responded Rosey,
obeying the order, 81 am General
Rosecrans.
The soldier looked at the common
soldiers overcoat and slouched hat,
and said, "No you don't"
"Don't what ?" snorted the general.
"Fool me that way" was the re-
sponse.
"You blankety blank fool. | tell
you l am General Rosecrans.
"No, you don't-you just get back.
| know you. You're one of them
blankety blank thieving wagoners,
trying to get out and steal chickens.
The amazed commander let loose
his opinion in language more profane
than polite, and the guard fred back
in the vulgar tongue with volubili.
ty that was eloquent in its way
When he ceased from lack Of breath
not words, Rosey said:
"You blank fool, call the corporal
of the guard"
"Of course | will, and see you
marched off to the guard house"
The corporal was called and recog-
nized the general. The guard brought
his musket to present and began an
apology.
"All right" said Rosey, "you only
did your duty, but blank it, man, you
must not swear so. 1t is simply aw-
ful. You might be killed at any mo-
ment, and think of appearing before
your Maker with profanity in your
mouth"
There was an audible smile that
greeted this solemn admonition, for the
general had been the more profane of
the two.--Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-06-18

II tell you, this is great country
for education" said old Mr.. Pedant,
when he read in daily paper an ar
ticle headed "a Great Victory for
Yale |" "Our colleges are the best in
the world, and every young man should
have a college training" But when
he read on, and discovered that the
victory was contest of sculls, and
not of skulls, he Immediately lost all
interest in the article.-Norristown
Herald.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-06-18

feet. While the helpers were digging
a hole to be used in the next trick a
heavy rain-storm came up, which in
definitely postponed the remainder of
the performance.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-06-18

If woman does not like a man,
she can aracterize him as no man
ever could. A certain young man,
Mr.. Smith, was noted for an extraor-
dinary and perennial smile. One Of
his lady schoolmates described meet.
ing with him thus: "As l was going
out of church I saw smile down by
the door; when / came nearer / dis
covered that Mr.. Smith was around
it.--Christian Advocate.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-06-18

Stranger Ito clerk in temperance
hotel)-You don't seem to have any
bar here
Clerk-No, sir, but all our rooms
are fitted with electric bells. You
can 60 to your room, if you wish, sir,
and have a Kodak drink.
Stranger-A Kodak drink F! What
is that?
Clerk-You press the button, we do
the rest.-Lowell Citizen.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-06-18
MICHIGAN CENTRAL
"The Niagara Falls Route"
Time Gard in Effect

.Daily. Daily except Sunday. Parlor car on
day trains and sleeping cars on night trains.
The direct line TO Niagara Falls, Buffalo. New
York, Boston, Toledo Chicago, Cincinnati and the
South st. Louis and the Southwest.
Through tickets TO all points in the United States
and Canada. Steamship tickets sold TO all Euro
pean points, via the Cunard, Allan and Hamburg
lines.
WHITING, Ticket Agent.
owl .RUGGLES, G.. P. & T. Agt.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-06-18
0. |. PARTRIDGE.
Real Estate Agent

Rooms 4, g., Dawson Block.
viii take ehargeof estates for residents and non.
residents. collect rents. pay taxes place Insurance
obtain abstracts Of title. etc.
Office hours-10 to 10 A. NJ, to6P.M.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-06-18

All in the family. Little Berthe
Does the sun tan you?
Little Reginald-No, the father
Munsey's Weekly.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-06-18
WIT AND HUMOR.

A heart that has been often tender
ed is tough.-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-06-18

Things that one would rather have
expressed differently. Photographer
Please look a little pleasant, miss.
l know it's hard, but it's only for
moment Punch.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-06-18

An appropriate question. Hoffman
Howes-Rocky. old boy, my heart is
lacerated.
Rockaway Beeche-Yes. And who
is the lass Puck.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-06-18

"Julia," queried her bashful lover,
"why do you wear such large button
on your waist belt :"
"You press the button" said Julia,
who owns a Kodak, land I'll do the
rest."-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-06-18

George !" exclaimed Mrs. Fangle.
Don't bother me-" replied Fangle;
"I'm reading an absorbing article"
"What is it about?"
"Sponges. ."-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-06-18

First philosophical tramp-Look at
the uneven distribution of wealth. Mr..
Astor cud give every man in tn coun
try $3.50 and he'd hev $3.50 left for
hisself.
Second philosophical tramp-If he
would only do it, what blessing it
would be. You an | cud be bowling
drunk all day to-morrer.-New York
Weekly.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-06-18
Detroit, Bay City & Alpena R.R

Mail and Accom- Mail and Accom-
Express mediation. Express. modation.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-06-18

A chair between them. Simpson
had mighty close call last night.
Poor Simpson; he's always having
bad luck what's happened him
He and his sweetheart sat in one
chair all the evening.-Light.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-06-18

Pedestrian-So you want work, do
you Well, you can get it by going
to that factory over there. There is a
placard OH the door, saying there is
work for people of both sexes.
Tramp-Sorry, boss, but that don't
help me any. l belong only to one
sex.-N. Y. Tribune.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-06-18

To suit the occasion. Well, my
dear, are you quite sure that the play
we are going to see tonight is quite
proper?
Entirely so. my darling but why
do you ask
Because if | have to blush much |
had better wear my scarlet corsage-
it would make a prettier effect. LEX.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-06-18

His first night in N. j. Parker
cried hislordship, to his valet, "thert
is man approaching to serenade us
Can you catch the tune ?"
"You are wrong, me Lud," return
ed Parker, "that's not band. Thai
is a mosquito. New York Sun.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-06-18

Taking the census. Frenzied citi-
zen (to enumerator)-I hope, sir, you
have completed your inquisitorial list
of questions?
Enumerator-There's but one more.
Out with it.
Where did you get that hat PHO
neer Fress.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-06-18

The confagration was apparent.
"We were talking about you last night
Mr.. Sissy"
81 thought so. NV ears burned"
"Did they, really Why, Ella,
perhaps that's what we thought was a
big fire. You know how the sky was
lit up.-Ex.