Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1890-10-26
ON HsKING EXPLANATIONS.
AN EXCEEDINGLY DIsAGREEABLE Lux
URY TO MOST PERSONS.
The Weight of Dizziness and the Annoy
ing Associations Carried by Sex
plantations"


plantations
There are few words that carry heavier
weight of dullness or are beset with more
annoying associations than explanations
and the verb "to EXPLAIN in all its lenses,
SAYS writer in the London Saturday Re-
vieD. We do not remember that the poets
give them a place in the armory of DIS
cord but, in their dull, hypoeritical way,
none deserve it better, for every so-called
explanation induces some element of dis
cordance and separation, and puts the
speaker in a sort of opposition of senti-
ment or inclination to the hearer. The
words have, no doubt, IN innocent use as
applied to things; but when men come to
explain a meaning that had previously
seemed too clear, or to give an explanation
of questionable course of conduct, or to
seek an explanation of a line of action
which has displeased them-above all,
when, under the privilege of intimacy,
there is a mutual unfolding of motives and
intentions with the expressed design of ex-
planning away some chance coldness or diff
ference-it is rare that mischief does not
come of it. And as for truth, which is the
professed aim, who was ever thoroughly
satisfied with himself, whose conscience
ever came out white and clean, after some
tooth-and-nail explanation on some intri-
cate, knotty point in which his feelings or
passions have been engaged?
The sense of failure after these encoun-
tiers is, indeed, so general that we believe
the practice would be about given up by
rational people but for perversion of
language which universally. prevails.
Wherever neighbors and acquaintances
do not quite hit it, wherever there is
some slight or halt in intimacy, the state
of things is called a misunderstanding.
For collisions are passing things-even
serious collisions; if we weather the first
shock we may go on as before, merely
learning a scarcely conscious lesson of
caution. But in impulsive minds de-
sire arises to do something. Self has to
be cleared, or another has to be called
to account; we must needs get at the
bottom of things and see where the
fault lies, and once for all make things
straight. Now, whenever this craving
arises, the friendship or familiarity has ar
rived at one Of its inevitable bitches; and
it is certainly wisest to go round it, if pos
sible-not to make too violent efforts to
remove what is deeper rooted and harder
to shift than haste and inexperience
will believe. Clashes of feeling or opin-
ion must come, sooner or later, when there
are hidden differences. The warmest
friendship must be content with some
thing short of absolute upanimity-must
rely on general estimate of conduct, must
submit to be what it calls mistaken, while
in reality there is as good an understand
ing as innate differences and opposing
views and interests will allow.
Few persons are aware how seldom they
act in the affairs of life on formal array
of reasons. All people who are fond of
explanations have more than half their
reasons to seek on the spur of the moment
and in the heat of talk. In fact, men act
on the principles that have formed their
characters, but very seldom think of rea-
sons till after an affair is over. Hence all
sorts of temptations to be disingenuous.
The mind must be very candid and trans
parent which comes out of one of these
explanatory duels unconscious Of suppress
sion and special pleadings, and OF CLOSES
which man may be sure his opponent has
seen more clearly than himself, and which
may unduiy lower his opinion Of his sin
cerity.
People, indeed, who have faith in ex-
ool ,arioJ.oal ranoirc of +ha =
friendships have need of an exceptional
amount of charity, or of some Lethe of
their own wherein to bathe their memory
after them; for we are comparatively in
different to being misunderstood, or even
misiudged, where it comes of our friends
blunder, or his dullness to our merits, but
nobody can stand having his array of state
ments, his proofs, arguments, justifcations,
set at naught. 1t is intolerable, after con-
descending to a laborious vindication, to
remain where we were-after an unanswer-
able display of grievances to see our friend
unconvinced and impenitent and yet,
some touch of this evil clings TO every ex-
PLANTATION, with whatever temper conducted.
But what temper can come wholly un-
scathed out of the ordeal? In many
hands, explanations, of course, slip at once
into mere recrimination, proceeding to the
scandal of quarrel and mutual loss of re-
speet, even where reconciliation ensues.
But short of this, and where principle,
self-control and politeness are never lost
sight Of, this form of encounter brings out
many awkward revelations.
1t may be observed that the people
who keep their friends, and live in a
state of harmony with the world, system
atically deny themselves the luxury Of ex-
plantations. Things go little wrong, but
they wait patiently until they right them
selves. They trust to time, to patience, to
the weight of composed and forbearing
attitude, to the powerful influences of reti-
cence and self-respect. While people are
much and variously involved inthe worlds
business and pleasures, they hardly recog-
nize temptation to this undignified form
of exculpatory vindication and self-asser-
tion. Indeed, fondness for explanations
can scarcely possess persons in the brisk
intercourse of life. 1t demands time to
brood. 1t belongs to pauses in the hurry
of existence-to the byways of life.
Women are more given to it than men;
dwellers in small towns than in great.
Even the same people take to explana-
tions in the country which they would
never think of making in London. Apart
from any seAe of neglect or grievance,
there is a constant tendency in some minds
to explain themselves and right them
selves in the eyes of the world. All peo.
pie who do not come up to their own idea
of themselves, and are afflicted with NOR
bid misgivings that they do not do them.
selves justice, have this habit.