Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1890-05-23
TOOK 1888 DEGREES.
ONE MANS WIFE LEARNS ALL ABOUT
MASONRY.
Her Husband Deceived Her Badly But His Game is
Up FOrever-His Last Degree was the
Skyfugle-His Next Has
dashboard in It.
Peck's Sun.

A middle-aged lady, with black alpaca
dress, worn shiny at the elbows, and a
cheap shawl and a cheap bonnet, and her
hands puckered up and blue, as though she
had lust got her washing out, went into the
office of a prominent Mason few morn
ings since, and took a chair.
She wiped her nose and the perspiration
from her face on blue chekered apron,
and when the Mason looked at her with an
interested, brotherly look, as though she
was in trouble, she said:
Are you the boss Mason"
He blushed, told her he was Mason,
but not the highest in the land.
She hesitated a moment, fingered the
corner of her apron, and curled it up like a
boy speaking piece at school, and asked:
"Have YOU taken the whole 233 degrees
of Masonry
The man laughed and told her there were
only 80 degrees, and that he had only taken
81 The other degree could only be taken
by very few, who were recommended by
the grand lodge, and they had to go to New
York to get the sd degree.
"Where does my husband get the other
200 degrees, then"
The prominent Mason said he guessed
her husband never got 200 degrees, unless
he had degree factory. He said he didn't
understand the lady.
"Does my husband have to set up with a
corpse three nights a week!'' she asked,
her eyes flashing fire. do you keep lot
of sick Masons on tap for my husband TO
set up with.n
The prominent Mason said he was thank
full that few Masons died, and only occa-
sonally was one sick enough to call for
Masonic assistance. When a Mason was
sick. and away from home, or when his
family desired it, the brethren were only
too glad to sit up with him, but there were
so many Masons and so few sick, that 1t
was only once in two or three months that
a brother was called upon to sit up with
anybody.
But why do you ask these questions,
madam" said the prominent Mason
The woman picked the fringe of her
shawl, hung her head down, and said:
''Well. my husband began to join the
Masons about two years ago, and he has
been taking degrees or sitting up with peo-
pie every night since, and he comes home
at all times of the night smelling with beer
and cheese. / thought at first that the
cheese was the result of his going up to the
morgue TO help carry brother Masons home
after they had been found in the river.
''He has come home twice with the wrong
pair of drawers on, and when ! asked him
how it was, he said it was secret he could
not reveal under the penalty of being shot
with "A cannon. All that he could say was
that he took degree.
Il have kept little track of it, and fig
ure that he has taken 233 degrees, including
the grand Skyfugle degree, which he took
the night he came home with his lip cut
and his ear hanging by piece of skin"
''Oh. madam" said tn prominent Mason,
''there is no Skyfugle degree in Masonry.
Your husband has lied TO you"
That's what think" she said, as a
baleful light appeared in her eyes. He
sad he was taking the Skyfugle degree
and fell through the skylight | had him
sewed up and ee was ready for more de-
grees.
After he had taken, | think, about 100
degrees, l told him | should think he would
let up on it, and put some potatoes in the
cellar for winter. but he said when man
once got started on the degrees he had to
take them all, or he didn't amount to any
thing.
..One time | wanted a hat to wear 70
church, with a feather on, and he SAID
feathers were all nonsense, and the next
day he brought home leather case with a
felt coal shovel in it., and feather on it
that couldn't have cost less than $40, the
way figure millinery. And when he put
it on. and | laughed at his ridiculous APP
pearance. he began to throw his arms
around. and asked him what was the mat
ter. and he said it it was the grand haillng
sign of distress, and if / didn't look out an
avenger would appear from dark closet
and run a toadstieker through me Tor
Scoffer
He must have spent a fortune on the last
$50 degrees. One morning he came home
with his coat tail split right up the back
and his pants torn just as though dog had
chewed him, and one eye closed up and a
wad of hair pulled right out of his head,
and he said he had been taking the 2OOth
degree. but he wouldn't tell me how it hap
penep. becase it was dead secret
"Sometimes brother Mason comes home
with him, along in the morning, and they
cad about "a full flush and they both act
full as they stand on the steps and CAB
abont their pat hands, and raising 'em
out, and calling and 'bobtail filsh.' One
night when he was asleep | heard him
whisper, i raise you SO and when want
ed TO be told what il ment he said they had
been raising a purse for a poor widow.
Another time he raised up in bed after he
been asleep, and shouted Il stand pat,
and when | wanted TO know what that
meant he said he'd be ruined if / told of
it. He said he had mentioned the pass
word. and if his brethren heard of it they
would put him out of the way. Mister, is
Il stand pat your password
The Mason told her it was not That the
words she had spoken was an expression
used by men when playing drawpoker, and
he added that he didn't believe her husband
was Mason at all, but that he had been
lying to her all these years.
She sighed, and said That's what |
thought when he came home with lot of
ivory chinS in his DOcketN
He said they used them at the lodge to
vote on candidates. and that white CHIP
eIects and blue chips rejects candidate
IF YOU will look the matter up, and see
if he has joined the Masons, Will be
obliged to YOU He says he has taken all
the 233 degrees, and now the boys wants
him to join the knights of Pythias. want
to get out an injunction to prevent him from
Joining anything else until we get some I'M
derclothes foI winter.
"Tll tell YOU what will do. The next
time he says anything about Skyfugle de-
grees and consistory nonsense / will use
dashboard and cause him TO believe there
is one degree in Masonry he has missed;
and now goodby. You have comforted me
greatly. and | will lie awake tonight I'LL
nv husband comes from the lodge with his
pat hand and will make him think he has
forgotten his ante:
The lady went out TO the grocery TO buy
some bar soap, and the prominent Mason
resumed his business with feeling That
we are not all truly good, and there Is
cheating going all around.