Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1890-09-24
PITH AND POINT.

PITH AND POINT.
~ hear that your picnic was aswen
affair. 1T was. We all got stnng by
hornets
Tho man that can't sing and won't
sing deserves the sincere thanks of
musical community.-Someryille Jour
nal. T..
"A serious need in these days is a
gas meter that is Intelligent enough to
know when the family is at the seaside
and honest enough to say so.-Bingham.
ton Leader.
docs your husband attend church
regularly, Mrs. Trotter?'' inquired the
now minister. 20, yes" Mrs. Trotter
answered. HE goes once . year regu-
larly."-N. Y. Herald.
THAT was an appropriate flower
Lord 1mpecune wore when he was mar
ried 10 Virginia Boodel." II had not
heard Of it. What was it?' "A mari.
gold."-Harper's Bazaar.
Stanley says that sunshine in Africa
looks like moonlight That's about the
| way 1t looks right here at homo to a
good many people, when business don't
90 right Rams Horn.
-Stranger-"Why are those police
men hurrying around the corner?" Citi-
zen--''There is going to be fight"
Where? Around the corner?" mo, it
is going to be here."-N. Y. World.
| -Scribbler-"1 am going to make
trouble for that fellow, Pennibs. Hero
be has published one of my poems over
his own signature. Scrawley - II
wouldn't make any fuss, old man. II
he can stand it you ought to- "-America.
! Mrs. Wickwire-'If you 90 irst you
will wait for me on the other shore,
won't you. dear?" Mr.. Wickwire-T
suppose so. never went anywhere
yet without having to wait for you at
least half an hour. "-Terre Haute Ex-
press.
-Cunso (despairingly) What on
Garth made you get divorce when you
we're in Chicago?" Mrs. Cunso-"Real-
ly, dear, they were selling them so
cheap-in fact, they we're going at
| U6IS dAu, 0UA L COuAuA ICoAoV
one. The Epoch.
-"Where do you get your cigars.
Bromley?" "Why do you want to
know that? You've always blackguard-
ed them So" Il want to know because
my wife objects to tobacco smoke, and
I've got to smoke something
Vile Courier-Journal.
-Overworked Housewife-"I wish to
get a servant" Employment Agent
well, madam, We have some elegant
ones who wish a trip to Europe, some
less desirable who would summer at
Saratoga, and few cheap ones who do
not object to Long Branch. Which do
you prefer?"-N. Y. Weekly.
! -Poet-"I don't see how you have
the cheek to charge seventy-fve dollars
for that suit" Tailor-"My name is
worth something, sir" Poet drawing
his check dwell, I'll take it, Tailor
but this check is for fifty dollars
only. Poet-'I know it-but my name
is worth something."-N. Y. Sun.
Young man." said Congressman
to youth who was employed in the
Capitol, II will tell you frankly that I
can't help feeling some admiration for
your powers of endurance" I'm what
way, sir?" was the inquiry, in tone. of
pleasure. Il saw you stand and puff
cigarette smoke in your own face for at
least half an hour. "-Washington Post
-Winks-"I understand the woman
you are going to marry has been en-
gagged to you for ten years" Jinks-
"Yes. You see am newspaper writer
by profession, and her proud father said
I could not have his daughter until I
could show him my name at the head
of an article in some great magazine.
| Well, l went to work, and soon got an
article accepted, but it was ten years
before it was published Good News
"A well.known travelling agent for a
Philadelphia carriage paper has carried
of the honors for eating, in this city,
says the Cincinnati Enquirer. At re-
cent meal for himself he consumed two
whole chickens, fried Maryland style,
five pounds; one extra porterhouse
steak, ten ears of corn, one dozen toma-
toes sliced with onions, one quart
/ SVoWcu pOtaIOeS, OAo AoZSA SOEA WAKES
and three quarts of beer. He was the
only manwho partook of the meal, and
he did not fall into ashes when he
finished. .
| Some OF Natures Wonders.
The polypus, like the tabled hydra,
receives new life from the knife which
is lifted to destroy it There are 4,04l