Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1890-07-22

@This amt dwarf. He's over five
feet tall -Tnat's the great thing about
him. He is the tallest dwarf in the
world.
Heaven will be full OF surpri es but
none greater than when man realizes
that all his good intentions have put no
jewel in his crown.
He NEWLY marrieD II wish you
wouldn't call me dear while we're in
company. She-W :, Charles? He
Because it makes me feel so cheap.
Il hear you went to the art photog-
rapher's to get your picture taken.
How did it come out ?" Badly. 1t
looks so much like me everybody says it's
hideous.
Harold CA. B.. Harvard, 'ss)-Maude.
/ love you. Will you be my wife2
Maude "a. b., Harvard Annex, '8S-No,
Harold, chat can never be; but we shall
always be brothers.
Rather Broad. .--Cholly-They say that
excessive coffee drinking induces soften
ing of the brain. Miss Snyder sup
pose you regret now that you have been
such a slave to the habit.
The Want Supplied. - Poet-I have
here some verses wonld like to submit.
They are not perfect admit; perhaps
they want fire. Editor - You are
quite right, sir, fire is what they want.
Up in Maine the husband, who kick
vigorously if their wives ask them to
carry home package only three inch
square. viii carry home big heavy
original package without a murmur.
She (rapturously)-O, what is more en-
ioyable, more productive of ecsta.ic
bliss, than walk ON moonlight night !?
lie lslyly)-I don't know. unless its
walk on night when there is no moon,
Husband (solemnly)-I see there is
Grape on the door opposite.
Wife, have been expecting as much.
The doctors carriage has been there
every day for week. Lowell Cti-
zen.
Timely Word. Miss Coonby lat "the
party ')-Why. Mr.. Mokeby, yos JUS
dressed up to kill. Mr.. Mokeby feeling
his pocket)- t)-GolIy! Dat jus reminds
me, Miss Juliet; Use done lef my razzer
to home.
Too Generous Is your husband very
generous man" Indeed he is. You
remember those nice cigars gave him
for birthday present Well, he smoked
only one and gave all the others away to
his friends. "-[ -[Epoch.
First Editor Qanguidly)-I saw an ex-
cellent thing in your paper yesterday.
Second Editor with animation) Hal
That so? One of my editorials? First
Editor-No; a recipe for making lobster
salad. 1t works like charm.
Fatal Use of Slang. -She-How far is
il from the sun to the earth, Mr. Good
catch2 He-Now you've got me, / must
confess. She-Oh, I'm SO glad. was
afraid at one time that hateful Fan Smith
ers would get you.-[Terre Haute Ex-
preas
At the Exhibition. = First Critic =
Magnificent truth to nature: Don't you
think SO?
Second Ditto A real triumph of
naturalistic art! Perfectl But what do
you think it represents? - [Fliegende
Blatter.
knowledge is Power. -" Uncle 'Rastus,
are you afraid of ghosts?" @Yessir,
doan' like chooses. Well. l merely
wanted to warn you that my chicken
house was haunted. Haunted? No,
sab, faint. done been dar fore dis,
honey. Judge.
Mr.. Rich-I won't give anything for
that purpose. His son-in-law-Now,
come, be generous. / never knew you
to give anything to the poor yet. "You
didn't? Well think made the great
est sacrifice of my life to the poor when
gave you my daughter
Mr.. Jones-Business is so brisk and
correspondence accumulates 50 that
fear shall be obliged to employ an
amanuensis. Mrs. Jones-Very well,
my dear, get an amanuensis if you must;
but decidedly object to your having a
womanuensis in the Office.
Fenderson-Had awfully hard luck
this evening. Tried with all my might
to say something agreeable. but couldn't
do it, somehow: so l bid them good
night and went home. Fogg-And SO
you did succeed in saying something
agreeable at last? congratulate you,
my boy.
When scientific lecturer in Kentucky
declared that the amount of water on
the surface of the earth has been steadily
diminishing for many thousands of years,
pink nosed individual on the back seat
got up and hiccoughed:. Well, colonel,
you can't (hic) blame it On our people,
anyhow.
His Lordship-There's no dodging it
you know, but one does miss the infiu'
ence of leisure class over here.
She-But we have a leisure class.
His Lordship (suspiciously)-I haven'i
met them. Who are they?
She - Our plumbers and messenger
boys Life.
Judge-Are you guilty or not guilty
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