The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1890-07-24


Put not your trust in riches" bat
there's no objection to your putting
your riches in trusts.-Y o1akers States
man.
Was his address of any valued"
"Yes, indeed" said Mrs. Spriggins.
MY husband said it was very voluble."
Harper's Bazar.
A Nevada forest is said to be so vast
and impenetrable that many travellers
have been lost in mere contemplation OF
it.--Anaerican Grocer.
Fadman-"The paper says the speak
er spoke in "A rapt voice" Fangle-
'Ah, see! Sort of muffied tones."-
Dry Goods Chronicle.
Cleverton-''Do you ever expect to
become engaged to Miss Summit"
Dashaway (doubtfully-'If my dress
suit holds out. CtOthier.
Razzle-''Did you notice how many
new clothes Robinson has?" Dazzle
Yes. That's the only way he can
stave off his tailor. y Ciothier.
so you had your clothes made by
Worth? Did you get a good tit?'' No!
My husband will have the fit when the
bill comes in. "-LiverpooI Post.
Teacher-'Don't be discouraged.
children. if you were not perfect to-
day. The egg of Columbus was not
laid in one y.''-FIiege,ade Blatter.
Il bought a donkey yesterday. just
for fun" remarked Gurley. Well"
replied Gazzam. that's remarkable
instance of self-possession.n -Harpers
Bazar.
There has been a tide in the affairs
of many a young woman which rolled
by and left her on the shore, because
she said No" when she meant YES"
Dallas Meas.
why do you cut out the lambs
trachea?" asked the professor of
"Majah'' Jones. Because" said the
Majah. Il want to get II the baa facts
of the matter ashland Press.
Foreign Visitor-'I see it stated that
public interest in baseball is declin-
ing" American Host (sadly)-'I fear
it is. l haven't seen an umpire mob
bed this season. IN. Y Weekly.
Miss Antique is delirious. The
doctor says it is the result of great
ioy.n What caused it?' The census
taker asked her if there were any other
young ladies in the house. "-Bostom
Herald
First Doctor Say. there's an I'M
licensed physician in town curing peo-
pie right and left" Second Doctor
Curing people? Good gracous We
must have him arrested. ~ Y
Weekly.
Bagley-"Have you recovered from
your recent sickness, Bailcy?n Bailey
mo, not fully" Bagley-'Why,
You look as well as ever Bailey
Yes, but l owe the doctor $13 yeti
N. J. Ledger.
Tommy-.'Say, paw, what is phil
osopher?'' Mr.. Figg-.'A philosopher
Tommy, is man who sits around and
figures out how other men have SO much
moro money than he has."-Ierre
Haatte Express.
Mudge-''You don't ca tch me getting
up with the lark any more" Yabs-
ley-"Ihats what | said. | tried it
one day last week and every one met
thought had been out on bat
1crre Hante Express.
1t is astonishing how a little mind
will hold out. A female fend whom
we know has been giving Il piece of her
mind to most everybody for forty years.
and yet the original plant remains
1haIfha's Vineyard HerCld.
Iommy-'Pa, what does tact mean?r
Papa-'1t means, my son, the ability
which woman has of sponging money
from her husband so that he can never
lind enough in his pocket to buy cigar
or pay car fare.-BoSton Herald.
Its enough to kind of sour a man
on human nature" said the tramp.
when you stop to consider how often
you're called lazy because You won't
do Il 75-cent job at sawin' wood for a
lucent breakfast. Washington Post.
How does your husband spend his
time evenings?n He stays at home
and thinks up schemes to make money!
And what do you do with yourself
when he is thus occupied?" 20. l
think up schemes to spend it."-Epoch.
1T was the next thing to railroad
accident that deprived me of my
lover" said Miss Antic 'My back hair
fell off, and he knew that | had de-
ceived him." Those misplaced
switches are dreadful things. ''-Epoch
Mrs. Slimdiet-.S $50 you have placed
yourself under the care of physician
who reduces supertluous flesh? Did he
recommend any special dIet?n New
Boarder-''No, madam. He simply
recommended your boarding-house.' -
". \. lFeekly.
Callco-'1 see Brown has invented
machine for the scarf trade, called the
tramp 1t counts the ties, YOU
know! Cassimere-"Yes but the
name hoodooed it from the start. |
hear. Nobody can make it work.
Dry Goods ChrosscIe.
1t was Horatio who. abiding to his
(Hamlet's father.) first observed to
Hamlet. Can you match this shade?r
Not invoice, certainly" replied the
Dane uneasily. as the ghosts followed
tones came gurgling up through the
sod.--Dry Goods Chronicle.
Servant (aaswering belD-.Mr
master isn't in. sir. You NAV leave
the bill if YOU wish" Caller lin sur
priSe) Bill? l have no bilI-wish
to Servant Gin surprise also) :
NO bill? Then YOU must have ctiled
at the wrong house LA Gcuiois.
Withholding Guest-'.H Have YOU a
room with :. window overlooking the
street," Hotel Clerk-.-No. but we
have a room without anv carpet.
Front. Show the gentleman TO No. Is.
Beg pardon. sIr-at what time shall
we sead tor the Coroner?"- Chicago