The morning call., 1890-08-24
PLEASANT PARAGRAPHS

That Were Written by New York's Hu-
morist Charles w. Foster.
Deaf and Dumb Beggar lat Unexpectedly
receiving quarter)-Oh, thankee, thankee.
Benevolent Passer-Eh? What does this
mean, sir? You can talk!
Beggar lin confusion)-Y- sir. Ye see.
sir, Pm only holdin' this corner for tn poor
deaf and dumb man wot belongs here.
Benevolent Passer tquickly)-Where is
he?
Boggar. Gin worse confusion)-He's-he's
gone to tn park t hear de music.
SMALLER SIZE WANTED.
Summer Girl should so like to go sail
ing. You take people out l believe.
Fisherman-Yes, mum. That there's my
cat-boat at tn dock.
Summer GirI-0h. dear me. that's too
Haven't you any kitten boats?
ACCOUNTED FOR.
Customer-Seems to me that this razor is
rather dull
Barber-Mought be, sab; it was to
pahty last night, sab.
HOW THEY GOT RICH.
She-I could have married either Whip
per or Snapper if I'd wanted to, and both
of those men whom l refused have since
got rich. while you are still as poor as d
chnTch-monse.
He-Of course. I've been supporting you
all these years. They haven't.
COUNTRY BEDS.
Farmer Acorn Ito city boarder)-Rest well
las night?
City bcarder-Oh. Yes, slept first rate.
/ was four years in the army.
GOOD APPETITE SECURED.
Blinks lat the ferry)-Helo, Jinks, where
YOU been?
Jinks-Been spending couple of weeks
in the country. Got board on farm for IS
week.
Blinks-You don't say so? How do you
feel?
Jinks-Rungry as bear.
MODERN EDUCATION.
Proud Mother-At last, my dear, your ed
ucation is finished and you have diplomas
from the highest seats OF learning IN the
world.
Cultured Daughter (wearily)-Yes, and
now Pm too old to marry.
A TENDER-HEARTED GIRL
Old Mllion-My dear Miss 1oungthing,
If you'd only marry me could die happy.
Miss Youngthing-Why, Mr.. Milton. if
you were dying I'd marry yon in minute.
THE WRONG MAN FOUND.
Citizeness-Did you go and thrash that
editor for printing those things about you?
Citizen--l went to the office, but l couldn't
find him.
"Whom did you find there?'
mo one, but great big bull-necked
fellow who pretended he was responsible
for that article, but knew from his looks
that he couldn't write
TRUTHFUL ADVERTISEMENT.
Irate guest-See here. Your advertise
ment said no mosquitoes"
Summer landlOrd-There wasn't a mos
quito here when that advertisement was
written, not one. You must remember L
began advertising in April.
FEARED HE WAS SUSPECTED.
dear? You look worried.
Mr.. Goodsoul-l am suspected of being
defaulter.
" But you are not"
mo; only it's very hard to he suspected
of being thief after the years of faithful
work l have done for Closefist d Co."
% But how do you know they suspect
you?"
"They have offered me two weeks
vacation"
POSTAL TEST.
Particular Citizen-These new red stamps
are not as adhesive as they ought to be.
Postal Oficial-1 guess you never tried
hot day.
LONELY PLACE.
Country Hostess-Have you nice neigh
bors where you live now?
City Guest-Oh we have no neighbors
now, none Mt all.
Country Hostess-You amt any neigh
bors?
City Guest-No, we live in fiat.
wEARIsoME TASK.
First Visitor lat summer hoteD-I have
not seen your husband this season.
Second Visitor-No, poor man, he can't
come-too busy.
First Visitor-Indeedp
Second Visitor-Yes. He's President of
| a big Ice company now, and he has to work
| like a slave night and day to keep the price
] of Ice from ialling.-All from N. Y. Weekly.