The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-05-08
BRIGHT BITS.

FoNo PARENr-Look herel bought you the
wind mill, now what do you want?
Little Willie-Boo hoo-o-o! / want the
wind.-Epoch.
PRESIDENT OF LITERARY SOCIETY lin co-educa-
tlOnai colieget-Are you ready for the queStlo
Matte Bond (who spends her vacations at Bar
harbor)-Yes; pop it.-EDoch.
GIRLHATER-Tve noticed that women have
peculiar fondness for using the word amen
Punsby-Nothng strange for it's always the
last word.-HdrUord Ldmpoon.
81 AM about scared to death. hear that the
anarchists have sworn TO kill me if they find
me. What shall do!"
Get a position in a bath Householder
Ocean.
TED made Dolly tell me the things she
loved me for
Nad-Wellz
Ted-I didn't really uos7ss a single one of
them.-Fp0ch-
MISS BEAcoNHILL-I wonder what the philo-
sophical reason is that the men who mind their
own business generally succeed.
Jack NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. because there is so
little competition in that line.-Rarrdrd Lam
poon.
INvENToR-I am posltire that have the finest
electric motor in the world
Superintendent-Well you ought to make
some money out of it.
Inventories, but it needs pushing. Boston
Herald.
FAIHER--James, you know l disapprove very
much OF your fighting, but cannot help feel
ing proud of you for whipping such big boy as
that What did you whip him forS
Son Qndignantlyl7~W Why. he said looked like
you.-Rdcket.
CIrIzES-How do you know that Col. Seekum
will be candidate at the coming election?
Politician How do know? He emphatically
declares that he cannot under any circum-
stances be induced to run. Then he invites us
all in to take drink.-Chicd1o Times.
A BUSINESS AGREEMENT-w WE'LL George, in
this firm we are about to form, remarked Ara
bella to her fiance, 81 suppose, of course, you
Will expect to be the senior partner?"
Yes replied George, land hope you will
be the silent partner. Munsey's Weekly
DIDN'T APPRECIATE GREATNESS Bobby ION
board the Ocean Greyhound)-Oh, mamma
Who is that great, proud man IN uniform
Mamma-Why, that's the captain of the ship.
Bobby with awel--Mt! He looks just like the
janitor of our fiat at ho5ne.-Teras Sifttngs,
wATTs-Did Bingley ever accomplish his in
tention of getting even with the girl who beat
him out of his place by offering to do the work
Potts-I rather think he did He married her
and she is supporting them both.-Terre Hdute
Express.
Coon TRAINING -LandIady Ito actor)-And
you are going to leave me?n
Yes; only meant TO stay until | perfected
| myself in the part am going to play this even
ing
What part is that, pray?"
1.-The lean and hungry "Cassius. willie.
A HARD QUESTION (private in the naval reserve
| at gun-drill)-You're very kind TO show us
so much, sir, but there's one question I'd like to
ask.
Lieut. Danna-What is it. sir?
Private-After vou put all that powder and
| those other things into the gun, what is to pre-
| vent their coming out again and getting lost
when the gun is lighted at the back end?-Life.
AT THE ART CLUB-Palette Ito critic)-Quill,
| what do you mean by that word fine which
| you apply to so many pictures?
it doesn't mean anything. It's merely a con
venient term to when | can't truthfully
compliment a picture very highly and wish to
avoid hurting the painters feelings
| Later.-Paette displaying the latest creation
| of his genius)-How's that!
Quill forgetting himself)-O, my dear fellow,
that's really finel-Te.cds Siftings.
| PRESIDENT INSURANCE CoMPANY-Want to be
| appointed life insurance agent, Ell? What ex.
! perience have you had?
| Applicant-NoDe | will be frank with you
sir. l wish to marry old Moneybags' daughter
| aud want to be able to say that | am in bust
ness for myself. Seeg
| President-I see. Now I'll be frank with you
| Go to old Monsybags. Tell him you haven't O
| cent, and don't expect any, yet you want to
marry his daughter. OF course, he'll refuse
and kick you out. But if you keep at him and
stick to it until he fiually consents I'll appoint
| you superintendent Wall Street Nem&