Morning journal and courier., 1890-01-22
WREQK ERS.

A saloon is like q harbor-Most of the
wrecks are found outside the bar.-Terre
Haute Express.
The man who il employed In a feather
store is apt to get down on his knees pretty
often.-Conmercial Bulletin.
'sWhen drink much I can't work. and 80
let it alone" 'The drinkings" "No, the
working. Fliegende Blatter.
For such little chap Cupid does great
deal Of mischief. But you cannot always
Judge by sighs.-Philadelphia Press.
Works Both Ways.-"Did you read in the
papers this morning that account of "A
Romance Of Checks" ''No-o (sadly); bat
did you see anything in the same paper about
posed last night. Time.
cyl Something dresdful's going to heppen.
For thirteen to dine ct a table is q bad sign,
you know" Fogg (reassurinRly y)-"Ordinar
lily yes; but then, yoH know, In our house
one can hardly call IL dining. g."-Boston Tram
script.
"Beware of the dog" used to be the regu-
lation sign to hang on your gate posts to
| accustomed to IL In New England that now
the women hang out the sign, "Cooking
| school meets here" It is q great success
| Yonkers Statesman.
Chow did you like Mr.. BIS singing at
the concert last night" asked . lady Of q
woman accustomed to surprising her friends
| by her unexpected speeches.
-"Oh, enjoyed 1t very much!" was the en-
thusfastic reply. che is really quite a
prima donna, isn't hea"-Youth's Compan-
Ion.
| Women are to be admitted as druggists IN
Connecticut. 1t will be q good plan till
some woman deciphers prescription in this
style:
ssaa ssa.ioltss saltiyi' fo Sdf
| Cut square and sew with hemstitch three
times day.-Life.
| Smith-"That was very interesting lee
ture of yours on the Cstacombs. Did you
write 1t while you were in Rome or after you
returned homes" Spouter-"Oh. no, }
wrote 1t before went. Wanted to get it off
abroad I'd have nothing to do but enjoy my
self."-Boston Transcript.
First author Gin background)- -'Tollerby
seems to be perfect lion tonight; can't
see why they're making such . fuss over
him." Second ditto-"Haven't You heardl
He's been accused of plagisrizing the plot
and all the characters Of his last novel, and
his publishers can't print 'em fast enough to
supply the demand. PUCK.
The friend or the condemned man looked
at him with pity in his eyes and in his heart
At length he spoke. 81 heard your SEN
tence, ]" he said, "thirty years. solitary i'm.
prisonment, without occupation. It ID
worse than death. You will 60 mad In five
years" "By no MEANS" replied the prisoner
calmly; "I will get along very we'll. am
accustomed to the life. have been in bus
mess thirty years and never spent a cent fol
advertising. g."-Burdette in Brooklyn Eagle
Tenderfoot (entering the saloon at Way.
back keI-beg pardon, but will you be SC
kind ae to let me have IA glass of-water
Ferocious oowboy-See here, bartender
nobody drinks water in this ERE saloon while
I'm here, dye heara You hand that young
fellow glass of whisky.
Tenderfoot (trembling)-
Cowboy-Yes, whisky; there it is; it's my
treat; you drink that down slick an clean el
say y'r prayers, an be quick about it.
Tenderfoot- drinking and reaching
the door)-Thank you. Whisky is what
wanted, but knew If asked for wate
some of you cowboys would be fools enough
to order whisky and pay for it. Ta, ta.-
Boston Beacon.