The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1890-07-05

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Even the plumber becomes ad-eyed
Ind care-worn after very mildwinter.
| de fails utterly to realize tat the
storms of adversely are Wholesome.
Though, like snow-storms, thei; drift is
lot always seen, let us shed sympa-
ihetic tear; for this has been earfully
Ievere winter on plumbers. Just at this
,risis he can see less fun in these jokes
.bout plumbers than ever before.
Another class that can mingleits tears
with those of the poor plumber is
composed of coal barons. Thanks to
The warm winter. There are mill
/ .ons and millions of dollars which
,hey did not succeed in obtaining from
Ihivery humanity. 1t is very remark
able fact, nevertheless, that dimin-
shed demand for coal has no effect on
The market. 1t is also somewhat pecu-
liar that the discovery of new and rich
:oal mines is never allowed to interfere
with the price of coal. The coal baron,
however, generally manages to hold
moro than his own. 1t never occurs to
him to let go that part which does not
belong to him.
A scientific paper says that two inches
Of ice, or rather ice two inches thick,
will support man. In summer it sup
ports not only him but his entire family.
If we are to rely on the predictions OF
those who are supposed to be posted,
the price of ice will be SO high during
the coming summer that one-eighth Of
an inch of ice will support the ice-man,
his family and all his relatives.
Speaking of ice brings up the ques-
tion-how about tie young man of linn
tied means and his lady friend with the
unlimited yearning for the delicacy? If
the price of ice cream is to be increased,
1t is not bit too soon for him to quit
the country or get married.
What an impetus the increased price
of ice will give to the ice cream joke!
Very Likely we will read of young Ia
dies fainting in front of ice cream sa-
looms, and being awful mad when car
ried nearly block away to drug
store. We must also be prepared to
read that while whistling makes girls
mouths small, ice cream has a tendency
to enlarge the mouth.
In fact, the situation is appalling.
The newspaper editor who is anxious
to earn the everlasting gratitude of that
influential element, the unmarried men,
will begin right now t.> publish horrible
cases of poisoning by eating ice cream
He, the journalist, might intimate edi'
torially that such cases of poisoning
are becoming so frequent that the young
man who offers ice cream to young
lady is much more to be suspected thar
the one who doesn't
The jokes about the diminutive luml
of ice will have meaning and force
this summer in New York that they
never had before.
1t will not be long now before Bridge
will say to the ice man; "Av We place
sir, me missus says will yez put the ict
in Their saucer here livery marning, anc
cover it wild the tay-cup. so we can have
some of it lift if we don't get there the
mint We lave it,"
There is one young lady in New Yorl
who is supposed by the papers to live
in Harlem who will be numerously pop
ular. She becomes deathly sick if sh'
eats ice cream.
But in all seriousness, it is an unmis
taxable fact that epidenics of typhoid
fever have been traced to ice cut from
stagnaDt ponds. People do not hesitate
to cut ice from streams or ponds tina
they would consider too impure to fur
nish drinking water, because they thinl
that freezing purifics. The freezing
does not kill the bacillus of typhoid, no
does it free the water from dead organic
matter. Ice cream manufactured from
such ice must be dangerous.
ALEX E. SWEET.