Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1890-03-20

BY KATE THORN.

Begin to find fault as soon as you get
inside the door.
You can strike the keynote while you
are taking off your overcoat, and hanging
up your hat-if you hang it up, which is
quite unlikely, if you are like the majority
of good husbands.
Everybody knows that wives like to be
found fault with They are used to it,
and they expect it, and that is what men
have them for; though when they arecourt-
ing them they are in the habit of saying
that they should fill an early grave if
Minnie or Maria should say no; but there
is, we hope, no woman living silly enough
to take any stock in that sort of nonsense.
you want a happyl home, be as stingy
as possible with your whole family. Preach
economy at the table when they are all
there to listen to you. Hard times is al
ways an excellent text. 1t is good. and
you have harped on it so long that by
this time you must know just how to
handle it.
Growl about coal bills, and the gas bills,
and wonder how on earth anybody can
manage to waste so much coal Tell
your wife that if you had the running of
that furnace, you'd see if there would be a
fortune spent in coal every winter.
Draw your face down in righteous in
dignation when the girls want new dress
es and bonnets. Strange that women will
always be wanting new clothes. The
vanity of the female sex is atrocious.
They'd keep man driving from morning
till midnight, and spend all he had made
in feathers and ribbons. And they
wouldn't care if he hadn't a cent to help
himself with.
Be on the contrary side of everything.
Nothing gives the world at large, and your
family is particular, such an exalted idea
of your importance as this being on the
contrary side. 1t shows that your are
not afraid to speak out, even if your opin-
ion doesn't agree with the majority. Oh
yes, there is nothing that establishes a
mans claim to superiority more than be-
ing on the opposite side.
And if he can manage to argue on his
point, and quench all other conversation
with the cold water Of his opposition. so
much the better. That shows that he is
not going to be put down.
Never be coaxed out of fixed and ex-
pressed resolution. Give your wife to I'M
derstand in the first place, that you are
not the man to be cajoled and wheedled
into doing things you do not believe in.
Have that settled beyond the possibility of
dispute Be thoroughly independent, no
matter ON whose toes you step. Put
your feet on the mantel- piece if you want
to, and your legs are long enough. Who
is going to hinder? 1t is your house,
ism t it? Never mind if your hair does
grease the tidy; don't trouble to turn the
thing back Smoke in the parlor, if you
like, and if the odor affects your wife's
sensibilities, let her quit the room till you
are through. Make the children keep
quiet; children should be seen and not
heard No matter if they do cry a little
over it-just let them know that you rule
your house.
Get up when you please in the morning
Eat your breakfast when you like; it can
be just as well be kept warm while you
finish reading that financial article in the
paper If you should leave off to accom-
modate those cooling potatoes, and that
coffee that is getting fiat with standing
too long, you would lose your interest in
the article. and you wouldn't be likely to
regain it.
There are great many ways of having
a happy home, but if you faithfully follow
the methods here laid down, you will make
good beginning toward securing to your
family that beatifc state of mind in
which they will be sweetly resigned to the
will of Providence, for which you shall be
called to your reward.
Rismarck Resipns