Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1890-01-09
TALK OF THE DAY.

hope for lazy man than for any other
living creature
It is natural that in times of excite
ment mans head should spin, for II
Is the top of his body.
One reason why "a fat man doesn't
catch cold as easily as a lean man, is
because he is SO much wrapped up in
himself.
Natural-"This coffee is very mud
dy this morning" Yes, dear, but you
must remember how upset things are
In Brazil"
A venerable sinner-Venus-"How
steadily the earth joys alCag," Mars
Eyes, but just look at the moon-full
as goat ~
She Cat the piano. Listen! How
do you enjoy this refraing" He
VERY much! The more refrain the
better like it"
1t Belonged TO him. Barber Ito
granger) Your head is very dirty,
sin" Granger -"lt's none OF your
darn business lift is"
An Appropriate Name. Jones
Say, Browne, why do you call your
eldest boy Telephone?" Browne-''Be-
cause he never works"
Professional beat Ito hotel proprie-
torl-"ls there any danger OF fire
here?" Proprietor-''Notif you settle
for your board in advance"
For short-Miss Beacon Hill.-"What
is your brothers name?" Miss Wa
bash-"Lucullus Swinburne Hobbs.
but we call him Gully for short"
Caught it at last-First boy Tin sur
prise) -"Why, l heard you ran off to
join circus. Didn't you catch it?"
Second boy-"Not till l go. back
home"
Examiner-"Ca you give an in
stance of a person melting another to
perjury" Candidate Yes; when the
court asks female witness how old
she is
Footpad-"Hold up yer hands!'
Pedestrian (calmly)-"I have been out
shopping all day with my wife" Foot
pad (sympathetically)-By Jinksl
Here, take this quarter"
"Do you remember that awful smart
boy you used to have in your Office
Johnny Smith," 'Oh, yes. How did
he come out?" "He hasn't come out
He got twenty years in Sing Sing"
A Little Matter. my goodnessr'
said she. That's hardly worth
mentioning" said her spiteful neigh
Dor in her spiteful way. And now
they never speak as they pass by.
Mrs. Newed--"My dear. what would
you think of having mother to dine
with us on Thursdayw Mr.. Newed-
"Oh, guess l wouldn't; not on Thurs
day auyway-thats Thanksgiving, you
know"
n Wife, remarked a man, as he adj
vanced TO the editors desk. you are
unmarried. / believe" replied the
editor. ''Yes, why?" Nothing, 1
just thought So"
The life OF lease. Shetland now
that we are engaged, John. dear, how
long shall the engagement be for?n
He ian absent minded lawyer who has
just drawn up railroad lease)-"Oh,
ninety-nine years, s'pose."
Lady OF the house-"No, make it
principle never to give away money at
the door," Tramp-"Very well,
madame, il you have any feeling about
it am perfectly willing that You should
hand it TO me out Of the window.
The boys will soon be men. Teddy
-"fll be man before ever you will
/ feel my whiskers a-sproutin'
Already" Tommy "Pshaw! that's
nuthin'. / bribed two voters when we
'lectured me captain of the ball nine"
She got herself wedged in the door
way, and kept score OF people wait
ing. Just like woman" muttered
male GROWER Yes" replied the
woman sweetly; "of course you do.
What pity the sentiment isn't return
edr'
Paradoxical - Ethel Papa. why
did you invite that undertaken here?'
Papa-"Whom do you refer to, my
dear?" "Ethel-"That solemn-look-
ing man talking with mamma" Papa
''Why, that's Squibs, the professional
humorist."
When you see a girl pasting n scrap
book full of cooking recipes out OF the
weekly papers you know pretty well
that some young man is in position
to be congratulated, and yet when you
think of the recipes you feel rather
sorry for him, too.
Water in the Snake River has been
so low this season that settlers have
bitterly complained OF the dust raised
by the salmon going up stream. They
threaten TO ask for an appropriation TO
sprinkle the river next year if the
nuisance is repeated.
Son OF Gum. Teacher (to new
scholar) What is your name, SON
N.Y." Boy-"Gunn. "Give me your
full name" John G.. Gum" What
Is the G. forP" "Getyer" What do
you mean by that?" "Well, all the
boys call me johnny Getyer Gunn,'
anyhow"
Close Call. -May-"C Charlie, you
must be careful and not expose your
SELF You were out in the rain last
night" Charlie-"No / wasn't What
made you think so?n May-Why. papa
came home and said he met you COM
ing from the lodge, and that you were
thoroughly soaked.
Chicago girl-''Oh. auntie, we've
just been out shooting at the target.
Great sport, l tell you" Boston girl
Yes, indeed; fully coincide with
Belinda, although the diversion is
II