davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1890-03-25
"THE CALLED JADE"

1t has so happened every time we have
been obliged to kill a man in this town in
self defense, that the Coroner and every
body else was in a great hurry and that
the body was buried in the most con-
venient place. Last week we were struck
with the idea Of getting them all together
in one Ommou spot, and we bought al
acre of sand lot of Col. Hawkins for a
ground work. Our green eyed contem-
porary got a hit Of what was up and he
went blowing around town and did his
best to head us off. He failed, however,
and during the thaw we had the five
bodies taken up, removed to what is
already known as 1.-The Kicker corral"
and each grave designated with a white
headboard with the name painted neatly
thereon. In the spring we shall see that
each grave is covered with trailing ar
butus-that is, if arbutus will trail in this
country. The names, as they appear on
the headboards, are: "Mose, Pete, Jim,
Sam Jack" We shall probably add a
couple more to the list before the Ides of
May, whatever this IS.'-ArizOna Kicker.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1890-03-25
WHAT MAKES A CAT TREAD
SOFTLY.

"Grandpa, what makes a cat tread
softly?" asked little Tammy Findout Of
his aged relative as the pair sat down to
improve their minds when the evening
lamps were lighted.
ct is a faculty provided by an all wise
Creator, my son, which enables the cat to
walk SOFTLY" replied the old man as he
laid down his paper and beamed on the
youthful seeker after knowledge.
"Al members of the cat tribe are en-
dowed with a noiseless tread which great
ly facilitates their capturing their prey.
You have doubtless noticed that the
pedal extremeties of the feline are fur
nished with soft, Velvety balls or covering
instead of hoofs. These balls extend be-
low the claws, which are drawn up when
not i'll use, enabling the cat to walk across
a board floor without the slightest noise"
"Oh, that isn't what makes a cat tread
SOFTLY" said Tommy, when the old man
had finished.
"No? What is then" asked grand
pa.
"Rats," replied the boy, while a happy,
happy smile lit up his ingenious face.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1890-03-25
HOW TO MARRY WELL.

What girls should never forget is to be
neaH Not primly so but daintily so. The
girl we'll got up, with irreproachable
gloves, and shoes that fit, though her
gown be only cotton, yet if it De well
turned out, may compete with the richest,
while the ~slovenly dresser, who scorns or
forgets to give attention to details, is
passed over by the disconnected eye,
though her gown may be a masterpiece
Of Worth.
A girl should learn to put her gown on
properly. No creature living takes more
heed Of externals than your orthodox
man. He may not know the price, color,
or material Of your clothes, but he will
know to a nicely whether you are well or
badly gowned.
One special point l would impress upon
the girl who desires, Gas all girls do) to
range themselves we'll, to make a good
marriages. to be gentle. The craze for
vivacity, for he free and easy style that
border so closely on the manners of the
demi monde that distinguished the society
Of ten years ago has providentially died
a natural death. Nowadays, men are
sensible enough to look for comfort in
their married lives. And surely the
knowledge that ones future wife has a
heart as tender as it is sympathetic should,
and does, go far to arrange a mans
decision of who shall be the partner of
his daily life.-TRe Duchess, IN Ladies
Home Journal
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1890-03-25
v BY A TRAMP.
Why an Engineer Could Not See an
Old Fur Cap.

"No, we don't bounce the tramps that
ride on the bumpers of our freight train, "
said a freight conductor who has run to
the West. II presume that we, carry an
average OF a dozen each trip, but if they
remain between the cars we pretend not
to see them"
"But it is against orders" was urged.
"Oh, yes, but there is a higher power
than general orders, even for railroad
men. Five or six years ago I used
to be hard on the railroad tramp. I'd
have the train looked over at every stop,
and If we caught a chap he got handled
pretty lively. Nowadays I throw out a
hint to the brakeman to shut both eyes
and if the tramp don't presume too much
On my good nature no one will disturb
him.
"What happened to change your mind?"
"Oh, a little incident of no interest to
the public, but a great deal to me. Twas
married IN December three years ago. On
the third night 1 got an order to run out
with an extra. There was a cold rain,
which froze as it fell, and one of my crew
got hurt at our very first stop. This left
US short-handed, and as we could not
supply his place l had to act for him. We
were back in the mountains, running
strong to make time, when the engineer
whistled brakes for a grade. 1 climbed
out of the caboose with the brakemen,
and had set two brakes and was after the
third, when a lurch of the cars threw me
down, and | fell between two of them. I
had just one glimpse of the red-cheeked
bride at home, just one swift thought of
her m widows weeds and her heartbreak-
ing, when a hand grabbed me. I was
going down head first, but the strong
clutch turned me over and my feet struck
the bumpers. I'd have gone then, only
some one put my hands on the ladder,
flung his arms around me from behind to
hold me there, and said:
"'YOu are all right, old man. Your
nerve will come back pretty soon.'"
"And it was a tramp, eh?'
cit was, and he held me there until the
train reached its stop, and then helped me
down, for the sudden fright had taken all
my strength and nerve away. But for
him I should have been ground up under
the wheels. This is the reason [ keep a
soft spot in my heart for the genus tramp,
and why, when I sometimes walk the
length of every train and find every
bumper occupied, I look skyward and
pretend not to see so much as an old fur
cap."-M ?. Sun.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1890-03-25

I can hear the noise of waves dashing on
the rock"
His uncle listened a moment at
sounds like all these things and another
besides-like the wind blowing in the
treetops."
How curious it must be down there.
| should like to look in"
But he hardly said this when he changed
his mind most decidedly, for the earth be-
gan to shake and tremble so that he felt
quite frightened, and heartily wished
himself safe at home. Fortunately this
did not last long.
The witches cauldron was so hot they
could ha dly stand the sitting bursts of
air, and they did not dare go too near the
great column of the steamboat spring, the
very largest of all, for the clouds of
scorching sulphurous steam were very
dangerous. The waters seem to shake
and struggle terribly to get out, and the
earth seemed again to tremble under foot.
But the place Robert truly enjoyed was
the vent-holes, two springs very near to-
gether where they boiled eggs in a min
ute and a half, and where Robert dropped
stones in to see them bound up three or
four feet like India rubber balls into the
air, as if some great boys were playing a
game with him. 1t was such fun, he hated
to leave off at all.-M s., IN Home and
Farm.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1890-03-25
ROBERT AT THE GEYSERs.

Which geyserS, you will naturally ask,
for there are geysers in Iceland, geysers
in California, geysers IN our great national
park. Robert went to see those in Cali
fornia, riding for a good many miles with
his uncle along a road from which he
could see on the left the white peaks of
the coast range Of mountains towering up
INTO the blue sky, and down below the
beautiful valley with all it's woods, lakes
and meadows Of Russian river. It was a
very, very steep path, winding over the
sharp ridge of the Hogback and then
plunging suddenly down into the valley
Of the geysers.
"What noise is that ?" asked Robert.
1t sounds Just like a train. Oh, see !!
there's the smoke coming up! no, it's
more like an ocean steamer"
His uncle laughed. "That's the roar
of the geysers."
1t was not long before they were in the
midst of the steam themselves-though l
have not begun to tell you of the scram-
bling and climbing they did to get there,
and Robert found to his surprise that the
mud was quite too hot for him to bear
holding his hand omit.
IL SOO44Cu HuAbO p4Oood4O "04O "
stop in the grotto, where there is a lonely
little cascade of cool water and the
boughs of the trees stretch across the
water like an archway.
ooh, this water is hot againl' be ex-
claimed, trying ~curiously the strange little
streams that they began to find bubbling
up along the creek. They were the
queerest little streams you ever saw for
some were beautifully clear and blue,
others very near them black, some pink,
brown, gray, yellow, and then on the
edges of some he could see white glitter
ing crusts of a salt like ho~arfrost, and
around others yellow flowers of sulphur
like delicate MOSES. Besides all these
different colors, the temperature was diff
ferent; some Of the springs was cold,
some hot, some boiling away ike an I'M
foreground tea kettle.
"Stop, Robert" said his uncle. 'Listen
to all these springs at work down below,
and tell me how many different sounds
you hear. seem toshear something like
a great quartz crusher."
Robert listened a little. cts just like
a big kitchen. I hear kettles boiling. l
can hear something that sounds just like
potatoes cooking, and then there's a noise
ike a gristmin cracking cobs. Oh, uncle!
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1890-03-25
BROTHER GARDNER ON THE
GRIPPE.

81 hev received seberal letters of late
akin me why so few of the Guild people
had been token down wild de grip" said
Brother Gardner as Paradise Hall grew
quiet. 81 lay it to fo'ce of character
alone. No black man Of any account is
gwine to fool around an lose time an pay
doctor bills wild anything less dan small
pox. SIGH ailments as grip ar too trifin'
fur him to bodder wild. Dey belong to
women an men of weak minds. Any
member of dis club guilty of harborin'
SIGH a complaint would hev to stand up
heah an make a mighty reasonable ex-
PLANTATION or pay a fine of not less dan
$4,000. Let US purceed to bizness." -
Detroit Free Press.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1890-03-25
HOW 1T IS DONE.
Senatorial Victims of Misplaced Con
fdence.

fdence.
Senator Faulkner, of West Virginia,
and Senator Bate, of Tennessee, were
seated together in a committee room on
Tuesday, when MI. George Harries, a
newspaper man, entered.
"Harries," said Senator Faulkner, 81
wish you would tell me how you news
paper men get information of the trans
actions of our secret sessions p
"Why," said Mr.. Harries, "there is a
committee upstairs trying to find that out.
You ought to go up and listen to the tes-
timony."
"Never mind the committee said the
Senator. "Won't you tell me just for
the qualification of my own curiosity 2"
Mr.. Harries reflected a moment and
said: 81 would have no objection to
telling you, Senator, if you were author
lied by the Senate to receive the infor-
nation"
"Then, why don't you tell it to the
committee ?" asked the Senator.
" Is the committee properly constituted
and duly authorized to receive such in
formation, Se~nator?"
"Of course it is"
now 10 you udh6 IudG OuL!
"Why," said the Senator, cit was con-
stituted by the Senate in the regular way
under Senator Dolph's resolution.
Then Senator Faulkner went ahead and
gave every detail of the manner in which
the Senate discussed and adopted the
resolution, how the committee was con-
stituted and what it was empowered to
do. When the Senator had concluded,
Mr.. Harries said:
well, Senator, that is the way we
newspaper men get information of the
proceedings Of the secret session. Good
day"
Senator Faulkner did not get the full
meaning of the newspaper mans remark
until Senator Bate quietly and good
humoredly said: Faulkner, if every
Senator were as easy to pump as you are
we might as we'll hold our secret sessions
out on the portico."-Cor ~ Y. Herald,
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1890-03-25

hood. 1 sold out at a sacrifice and just as
we had reached the railway station, some
ten miles distant from the home l had
learned to love, I learned that an iron
mine, worth probably $1,000, 600, had
been discovered on the land that 1 had
sold for a mere song.
"'But why didn't you tell me- I de-
handed.
"FWell, the fellow replied, the saw
mill man made me swear ter keep my
mouth shet till after he had made a trade.
He got a Teller to buy yo' place fur him.
Mighty smart man, Squire is. Coin ter
marry my sister"
"You know now why I left" Col.
Summers added. "That story about all
those girls and the new boy was a lie.
The scoundrel had never been married
and he built the mill in the first place to
run me away.
Copyrighted 1890. OP1E P. READ.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1890-03-25
TWINKLINGS.

-
Birdie McGinnis-My great hobby is
art. 1 do dearly love to paint.
Gilhooly-I am glad to hear that. 1t
convinces me that I am an expert phys
economist, for I knew it by the looks of
your face for sometime past.-Te1GS Syft-
ings.
American Heiress: Gracious! Ny
hair is coming down. Won't you please
push that bunch back into it's place and
hold it while I fasten it?
Count de la Fayette Mont Morency !:
Certainmong, mees. Dair, eet ees ineesh.
Next.-M Y. Weekly.
A bishop was at a dinner party one
night, and a waiter carelessly upset into
his lap a plate of hot soup. He glanced
around with an agonized look upon his
features, and then exclaimed: "WM
some layman make a remark appropriate
to the occasion p Glasgow Mail.
A dog on exhibition at the New York
bench show is valued at $4,000, and be-
longs jointly to two gentlemen of that
city. When dogs get to be SO valuable
that it takes two men to own one, it is
about time to propourd Socrates cele-
brated conundrum, Whittier are we
drifting ?"-Norristowm Herald.
Shoe dealer (for the sake of adding the
strength of another favorable opinion):
All, madam, but that shoe is simply per-
lection upon your foot. James, how do
you think Mrs. De Hoof's foot looks in
this shoe?
New Clerk (anxious not to fall short in
his enthusiasm): ImmenSe.-Harper's
Bazaar.
Mrs. O'Flaherty: Oh dunno pfwat will
became of my Tammy. He is gittin' to
be a messenger boy any more, an he has
been wild EN- that long it's not faster than
a snail can he walk at all.
Mrs. Groarty: An sure, pfwy don't
yez git UNI on da polace foorce.-TerrG
Haute Express.
What a genius you are! !" exclaimed a
young lady visiting an inventors work
room.
az believe you could make almost
everything"
ayes" replied the young man mod
estly.
Us there anything you would like to
see me make? ?"
"Make me an offer" whispered the girl,
softly. -Aunsey's Weekly.
"Say, viii you be my valentine?
She was a gay coquette.
But he was toe rich to decline,
And her answer was You bet!'
Rosenbaum (the elder" My gracious,
Able; don't study so hardt, or you will
ruin your s~pegdacles."
"When a fellow gets mashed on him
self" says a talented Roman, ait isn't
long before he cuts out everybody else"
She Gin the museum)-This is Minerva
He-"Was she married."
She-"No; she was the Goddess OF
Wisdom"
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1890-03-25
A POPULAR

Our live, wide-awake druggists, Lee,
johnson & Co., has secured the agency of
the wonderful medicine known as Radam's
Microbe Killer. This medicine is entirely
new, but in the short time it has been
discovered it has created an immense stir
among the medical profession by the
wonderful cures it has made. Among
those most prominent was the case of
James Cavanaugh, Jr., who was cured of
leprosy after being isolated from the city
of New Orleans for three years. This
case alone wa enough to bring the medi-
cine into great prominence, but it has
made a number Of other equally as re-
markable cures, for it has cured every
disease ever tried on.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1890-03-25
HINTS TO HoUsEKEEPERs.

Chamois can be washed in warm water
without soap; rinse well, and pull and
stietch to soften while drying.
BE very particular about disinfecting
ttB kitchen sink. Washing soda, two
fablespoonfuls to a gallon O. boiling
Mter, makes an excellent wash to pour
t into the sink after you have finished
y gg it.
Pilverware to be kept bright should
be7er be washed in soapsuds; clear water
as best. To prevent articles from tarnish-
ing, warm them and apply with a soft
Prpsh a thin solution of collodium in alco-
no The ware can be frightened by rub
\ bing with a flannel or channels skin dipped
in whiting or chalk, then with a news
paper.
Little red ants, it is said, cannot travel
owe wool or rag carpet. One who has
'stried it covered her floor with coarse
set her sofa on that. and has not
DE ntroubled since. She adds. "Cover
a shelf in your closet or pantry with fan.
mel, set whatever you wish to kaan from
ants on it, and they will at once disap-
pear"
Dr.. F. D. Reese, of Cortland, N, Y
writes to the Medical Recorder describing
the use Of carbolized oil applied to the
<carbhncle, and then covered with oakum,
whifh had previously been saturated with
the Pill Of a\few cases of carbuncle
treatdi in this way, not one has run over
two weeks. The disease has yielded to
the tarbolized oil and oakum treatment
as bynagie. He uses twenty per cent.
solutPa.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1890-03-25
TO COUNTY ALLIANCE PRRSE-
DENTS.
OLD SPARTA, N. c., Feb. 90. go

OH Sparta, n. c., Feb. 20, 80.
In accordance with section 18 of the
statutory laws of the National BODY. 7
have this day appointed Bro. J. B. Oliver,
Mt. Olive, State Crop Statistician, and
request that each County President at
once select a county crop statistician and
report his name and address to the State
officer. These county officers will be re-
quired to make there reports during the
year. One May LIST, showing acreage;
n August lst, showing condition, and
one in November, showing yield. The
Alliance is in a position to compile the
most reliable agricultural report ever
issued, and l trust the officers will appre-
ciate the necessity Of it.
ELIAS CARR, Pres't N. G. F. S. A
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1890-03-25
NEW RITUALS AND NATIONAL
CONSTITUTIONS.

The new rituals with burial service,
and the new Constitution of the National
Farmers Alliance and Industrial Union
are now ready. Brethren can get sup
plies by ordering from State Secretary.
Rituals so cents per dozen, National Con-
situations 25 cents per dozen, State Con-
situations so cents per dozen, by mail
post paid on receipt of price.
E. G. BEDDMGFIELD,
Sec'y N. G.. F. S. A.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1890-03-25
Tie Book Of ?sak for lie Farmers,
" Fewer Acres with a System of In
proYement.N
BY ]. RonULUg CLINE, PRAcTIcAL RARMER.

By y hOAULUS CLINE, A FhAOIItA|
A system tending to the Improvement Of the
soil, condensed into a book. Fully endorsed. "FhE
hest work on the subject we have ever san from
the pen Of a North Carolinian. "-NeUOtOR Enter
prise.
cheap at 81 90. -HEcEO7Y Pres and CGrOkjnt0E."
eve heartily 1t to the brotherhooo
and farmers generally all over the South."-Cdt01O
bd County Formers Alliance:
stNo farmer should be without it."-COk Hr0~
a. FOTHey.
Price . cents postpaid. or ; copies Tor u %
silver or poetaI note. Liberal discount to tina
brotherhood on quantities
Address, gLl1
jS2s1m Oa@"
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1890-03-25
9dEtrg.
LES VOYAGEURS.

To q country Of magical dawns,
Moons whittier than snow,
A glory Of amber-hUed mOrns,
We go.
Where the rose stays forever in bloom,
With heart all aglow,
To breathe its alluring perfume,
We go.
= Where the white lily, saint among fowere,
Soft, sways to and fro
Her chalice, through all the glad hours,
We go.
n Where the amorous victor Of song,
With rapt voice and low,
kAwakens the wOndrous night long,
We go.
To the music, and beauty, and song
OF a world free from woe
In his own barque, Love bears US along.
Able Elizabeth SRO1O.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1890-03-25
Beware Of Fraudulent limitations!

See that our Trade-Mark (same as above)
appears on each jug.
Send for book & History of Microbe Killer"
given away by Lee, Johnson & Co Druggists,
sole agents, corner Fayetteville and Martin
streets, Raleigh, N. @.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1890-03-25

This manufacturing company Is established '-b9f
Alliance men, and run bF Alliance men, In the
heart of the wOrld-reROwned golden tobacco belt
Arrangements perfected for manufacturing as good
smoking and chewing tobacco as Is made. OTderR
solicited Alliance prices viii be given to this ana
Col. L. L. Polk. Sec'y n. c. S. F. A., W. h
Worth. S. B 3 Raleigh, n. c., Capt. s.. B. Alex
ander, Chm Elk. Com, N. G.. 8. A, Charlotte, y.
c., and Elias Carr, Pr sidert u. c.. s. 3. G.
Granville County Faun-rs' Alliance Tobacco
Manufacturing Co., Oxford, Y c.. ap161mr
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1890-03-25
SQUIRE SHARP.
How He Became Rich by the footing
of the Steam Whistle.

His Fat Daughters Would Marry Slim
Men, V1ce Versatile Celebrates the
Arrival of a Male Heir and Makes
Dag and Night H5deous for
HIS Neigh6orS.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1890-03-25

IN W CAAAS NA@-AAH ~ ASAAH ~ l. W NtLAS ~ w
when fortune proved that, after SO many
years Of girls and hard luck, she had de-
cided to favor me, why, hired two t~ellers,
one for day time and the other for night,
and told them to tie back the rope Of that
whistle and keep up the pucker all the
time. Hired them for a year.
"'You don't mean to say that you are
going to keep that thing blowing for a
whole yearI
"'That's what the contract says. Mis-
ter, you don't understand the situation.
I've got ten gals, but not until the other
mornin' was the voice of a boy ever hearn
in my house. Now, you may sneeze at a
good many folks, but let me advise you
not to sneeze at the pore Teller that has
raised ten Of the oneryest lookin' gals in
the country. Now, thar was Mol. I do
reckon Mol was the latest gal you ever
seed. Waddled when she walked
waddled like a 'possum. WALL, what did
MOu do? Disgraced me by marryin' the
slimest man in the world. That Teller
was so slim that he could stand in a double
barrel shotgun and reach down and take
hold of his boot straps. An thar was
Lie. | reckon she was the Slimest gal
that ever destroyed shoe leather. What
did she do? Tuck her ter town one day
an she fell in love with the fat boy that
they had in a show, and she married him
shortly afterwards. Then there was Kitty.
The palest %critter, l reckon, you ever seed
in your life One day she got nervous
and anxious, an 1 knowd right then and
thar that she was lookin' round fur some
monstrosity to marry. Wall she found
him. She found a teller with a nose so
red that he could hold up a newspaper
the darkest night that ever come and read
It. That's about the way all of them
married, and when they come to live with
me they turned my home into a regular
asylum for physical extremes, as old DR..
Miles lowed, and now that nature has
given me a boy instead of another gal an
l want to show my probation wy you
you
"He bowed his head and wept-yes, l
would have sworn that he wept. could
say nothing more; l actually s~ympathized
with him, but the mill continued to
whistle.
81 returned home and reported to nv
wife. She felt sorry for the fellow, but
declared that we must leave the neighbor-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1890-09-30
WANTED-BOARD.

WASTED-BOARD AND ROOM BY YOUNG LADY
w IN Private Catholic Family; al 5 per month: To-
cation PennSAve TO st.. 9th to l4th Address v o. c.
Star Office. suA. 3ts
WANTED-A LADY WISHES BOARD WITH A