The Logan County banner. [volume] (Logan, W. Va.) 1889-1903, 1890-05-08
IA LITTLE NONSENSE.
-"Whar's Biil?" Gone ter Hea

--"Whar's Bill?" sGOne ter Heaven
1 guess" ..Deady' Guess SO. Tried
to ride my broncho, ''Whar's he
buried2o s.Ain't buried. He never
come DOWN.. Y. Sun.
Mr.. Harbosh--.'So you desire q po-
sition as groom What have you been
employed at recently?' ApplIcant--"IIf
ave bin teachin' Hinglish pronunciation
to some dudes, your ighness. ~ Mum
sey's Weekly.
"A Dangerous Symptom - She-'I
am feeling very bad. Something fiickers
before my eyes all the time" He
''Great Christopher Columbus she ia
hunting for another diamond ring
Texas Siftings.
Miss Observation-Disclosures very
pretty collie, but I don't see why hd
ways his tail up and down instead oil
sidewise." Mira Morris Parke--'sTho
poor thing has always lived with US In
our Harlem fat and that's the only way
he could wag II. PUCK. III
--"Mr. Blunderheels, doesn't my sing.
ing weary your On the contrary, Misc
Psly, / am charmed. Your voice is So
clear, so ffute-fikes Later In thee
ing What Is your favorite musical
instrument, Mr.. Blunderheels? Do you
like the fute?" "A flute, Miss Psly, III.
ways bores me to DEATH" sf.,,
-.Gimme q ham sandwich" shouted
the guest at the dime lunch counter.
Two seconds later he complained to the
attendant: That was the worst sand )
witch ever had. No moro taste than
sawdust and not big enough to see. =
"You've ct your CHECK" returned the
attendant contemptuously; sthis here's
yer ham san,wich. Puck.
Mrs Billus pounding at locked door
OF inner room)-ssFor mercyss sake.
John, what are you making all that
noise about? Are You going crazy?"
Frenzied voice OF Mr.. Billus ION the I'M
side) Keep away, Marial Keep away,
or won't be responsible for the conse-
quences! I'm using that Christmas razor
you gave meT'-C Chicago Tribune. 4
~ have here. r said the drummer,
something entirely new in cigarettes.
This brand Retail dealer Chest
nuts! I've heard that from every sales
man who comes In" Eyes, but hap
pen to be telling the truth. Here is
something new ip cigarettes. Never
been on the market before" Hum.
| What Is it?'' "Tot acco. Philadelphia
Inquirer.
For the third time little Tommy
Figg had asked hin father what was the
cause OF the desert OF Sahara Finally
the old man laid down his paper and an
swered: ~ reckon IL was formed when
the Israelites lost their sand. And Ii
you don't quit asking me 80 many ques-
lions I'll see that Your mother puts you
to bed hereafter before ! get home. r
"But, paw, how can you sec her put me
to bed II she pnts me to bed before you
get homer And that question was
Tommy's last-for that evening, Terre
Haute Express. ~ y s n \ n = ~ y
Utility lady (hurrying in, breath
less, five minutes after the call for the
distribution Of parts for the new spec
tacnlar productiop) What do / get2s'
Stage manager (promptly You gets
dollar fne for bein' late, and you're tho
Empress Of India in the prologue, and
Queen Of Nightin the last act; and you
don't want 70 show UP IN them old blue
satin shoes again, for you've got 70 ~
on COLA throne ten feet high, and put
your foot on the neck ofths King Of Per-
sia In the last ct Now you come here To-
morrow At tan lctter-perfect. Of you'll
he hack n the second ron, casyyiu'a I'm
SWORD, hvst thing yog know, ~ hestezs
|.