The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-06
BRIGHT BITS.

Mas. GADABoUT-Oh, Mrs. Snappy, saw your
husband In the park with three or four ladies
around him.
Mrs Snappy-That's all right, but let me
catch him with one lady around him.-PhiLa-
pttG Times
YOUNG Mr.. O'DoNovAx native born, to his
father, Of foreign extraction)-Don't yer 90 de-
celvln' yerseif by thinkn' I'm cryin' cause
yer heked me, for amt. I'm an upset at BEN
struck by furriner. an not bein' able to strike
back!-Life.
RETAIL AND WHOLESALE RATEs.-"What do
you charge for performing the marriage cere
mony?" asked prospective bridegroom of
Chicago Clergyman.
can save money by buying a Communication
ticket-six ceremonies for S25. "-New YorE
Sun.
UNEXPECTED PLEASURE FOR BoTH-Mr. Chug-
water (rising with much politeuess in crowded
street car)-Permit to offer you seat,
madam.
Lady Cremoving her veil as she sits down and
disclosing to his surprise the features OF Mrs.
Chugwater)- tn On, it's you, is it, You're
unusually polite, Josiah
Mr.. Chugwater-Yes. it's l. If it had been
anybody else you would have finished the
Thank you. "-Chtcago Tribune.
COOKERY SCHOOL PRoPRIEroR.-Ih have called,
Mrs. SIimdiet, to ask if you would not like to
join our cookery class, just forming.
Mrs SlimdieG boarding house keeper)-O. l
don't care to spend money learnin' how to git
up lot o trenchlf1ed dishes.
"Ah, but you do not understand. Our lessons
are devoted to the preparation of all sorts of
nice and palatable dishes just from things left
over you know"
No use to me. We never have anything left
over. "-NeU York Weekly
He UNDERSTOOD Miss Laura" said the
young man softly, 'you have never yet called
me by my first name. IL would seem so much
more-more friendly if you would sometimes
call me William"
You have a middle name, have you not?' in
quired the beautiful girl.
Yes, but never use it, he replied 81 al
ways write my name William D. Shackelford. ~
'Ah, yes she murmured. The D, dare
say, stands for Dennis
Mr.. Shackelford did not stay long after that
| Chicago Tribune.
MAINE MAN Finishing a story)-Yes, sir l
killed that bear with nothin' but this little jack
| knife, Guess you never had a tussle with a
| bear, did ye?
| New York Liar-O, yes. was out fishing one
| day on Staten Island. when a big bear made q
rush for me and knocked the pole out of my
| hand, leaving me without even that means of
| defense. Well, sir, grabbed that bear. threw
| him down, and held him there until he froze to
| death.
| Maine Man (gasping)-I might "a done that
many time myself. but the weather up our
way don't change so quick as it does here.
| Netc York Weekly.
| IL You LISP READ THIS
| Susanna Snooks, sings sad, sweet songs, she
sees soft Simmer skies;
| Strange sunset shades slit silently-she some
what sadly signs.
Soliloquizingly She strays, sweet songsters shyly
| sing,
She sees slim spruces slanting shades surround
| some sparkling spring.
| Still southwark silently she strays. She spies
| shy Simon Sade.
| "Stop Simon!n says Susanna Shocks Still
| Sits sweet sunsets shade
| Shy Simon six snug satisfying squeezes slyly
| stole;
Susanna sn ckered. Simon stayed. Sick, silly,
| spoony soul.
Susanna's sire saw some shy, suspicious stranger
| stray,
Saw Susan say, stop, Simon Slade" Saw
| simple Simon stay.
| Stern sire sought some solid stick-sereney
| slyly slipped.
| Susanna saw. She shriIly shrieked, skip, 81.
mon!" Simon skipped.
| -Cbic00O HernId