The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-05-14
BRIGHT BITS.
On, the lucky baker
Who chooses to shirk;
For him it is proper
To loaf while at work.

A RARE FREAK.--Countryma Tin dime muse
um)-Say, bub, what sort of a curiosity be you!
Freak-Tm the boy what never whistles.
Ie.rds Stftings
Shells that a nightingale that is singing SO
sweetly! have so long wished to have one.
He (raising his gum couple of seconds 1
will lay it at your feet,--Ld Luna.
ED1rH-It's the little things that tell in this
life
Aice-well, you'd think so if you had two
small brothers, as have.-The Jester.
ENVY not the store of the greatest man that
grinds the poor, - said Dryden, which suggests
that Dryden may have been employed some
time in big dry goods emporium. -SonoerUiUe
Journal.
A WISCONSIN JUDGE has decided that a dentist
cannot legally pull a tooth on Sunday. That
judge would not allow concert dive or an
opium joint pulled on Sunday.-Nelo Orleans
PicGyune. -
IRREsPoEsIBLE.-'He Heavens You have been
eating pears, and now you have sauerkraut.
How will they go together?''
That's for them-t to Settlei / don't bother
myself about il. " F1iegende Batter.
SMART PUPu-Y You say there is hair on all
parts of the human body. Now, is there any
on the heart?
Professor-Yes. kind of down. You must
have seen people who were down-hearted.-
Nelo Ork Herald.
A LURKING SHADow.-He-Wil you always
love me as much as you do now?
She-Why, to be sure.
He-And-and-do you think your mother
will always be as pleasant as she is now?-
Terre Hdute Express.
TEAcHER-What's the past tense of see?
Pupil-Seed.
whats your authority for that forms"
"A sign in the grocery stores"
What does it say?'
Timothy seed. "-Bin0hdnlton Republican,
PENSION AGENT-Want a pension, Ell? What's
your claim?
Friend-Waal. my grandfather was the third
husband o. the wilder of a veteran of 1912, an
as near as 'figger it out there amt no one
but me left to represent the old lady's claim
Life
AWEsTERN Recommendations Farmer
(contemptuously)-Ca Catch me going west, where
YOU have neither coal nor wood. Mighty incon-
venient burning corn for fuel, isn't it?
Western Farmer-Well, yes it is, rather The
ear is SO big we can't git EN- in the stoves
Netc York Weekly.
LAID AwAY.-Master of ceremonies-Is it DOS
sible TO lift the corner stone again?
Master Mason-I'm afraid not, sir. Why?
Master of Ceremonies-I left my hat in the
receptacle with the records.
Master Mason-Never mind, sir. 1t will be of
infinite use to the future historian.-Puck.
The AMENDE HoNoRABLE.-Reporter (mistak-
ing the English interpreter of the Japanese
embassy for a Japl-You speak remarkably
good English for Japanese.
Englishman Indignantly am no Jap.
am an Englishman, born and bred
Reporter (abashed)-Um-er-yes yes, know.
meant to say you speak remarkably good Eng
Ugh for an Englishman.--NeD York. Weekly.
SHE-Yes, Harry, confess you have wakened
in my heart the tender throbbings of first and
only love.
Her Young Brother - Hello! caught yer!
Gimme quarter or I'll tell.
She-Tommy, go away, that's good boy, and
Ill give you 10 cents tomorrow.
Tommy-Uh, no you don't. That's what you
said when caught Tom Turner kissing you last
week, and you haven't paid me yet.-Chatter.
GETTING RID OF CHAPPIE.-What he saws:
ITS the queerest thing, you know; called on
that Miss Hankinson of Harlem last night, and
that Chubb was there. hadn't been in the room
ten minutes when Chubb offered to bet Miss
Hankinson that couldn't go down to the Bat
terry and back in two hours. She took the bet
and started. | did it in an hour and forty min
utes but wnen got back to the house Chubb
retired."-Life