The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-02-11
BRIGHT BITS

BRowN-Hello! what's thiss Another muir
derer at larse? Why don't the police exercise
niue energy and scour the country?
B1ss-Bscause they haven't got the sand.-Bos-
ION Transcript.
CHoLLY-I am practicing on the typewriter
every day now.
Moiie-I thought there was remarkable i'm
provement In your counting mere lately.-Ierre
hdu Express.
sucker (who lives on his friends)-What's
them? Bets: No. thanks, l never eat beets.
Blunt-Does you credit, oh 1t would
loo@ little like cannibalism, that's fact
b sion Transcript.
THEY say all good Americans go to Paris
when they die
y es all except the messenger boys"
Where do taey gogn
TO Philadelphia. '-NelC York Sun.
GRossBoRE-rd have you to know, sir, that
came from good family.
Fogg--You did? AMI they neglected to give
you character when you left? Poor fellow, l
pity you; do indeed.-BOstOn Transcript
I AM all out of BREATH said Soaker, who
had been running for a train.
GLAD of it, sad Noaker. Hope the next
lot You take in will not be quite so strongly
naVored with whiskey. Boston Bulletin.
IF IT HADN'T BEEN for me little Harry Par
ker would have gotten good licking to-day.
ma. He struck me, you know"
And what did you do, my SOM"
Il didn't hit him back.''-Net0 York Sun.
GEoGRAPHY-Teacher Ito dun boy of the class)
Which New England state has two capitals?
Boy-New Ham 1shre.
Teacher-Iudeed! Name them.
Boa pital and capital H.-Hdrper's
BdzGr
Miss SIMPER-Do you know, Mr.. Upperten
told me last eve ing that l reminded him, in
looks, to Hiss Daisy
Miss CAUsTIC-I never noticed any resem-
blancs, my dear; l always thought Miss Daisy
pretty.-BOston Times
Mrs. GRAY-And has the Rev. Mr. Blacks
ministry been very successful one among the
people her?
Mrs WAite-O, yes indesdl Why he's had
his salary raised no less tlan three times since
he came!-BOst0R transcript.
as MARRIAGE FAILURE?" asked the elderly
Spilklns of a former flame, who had been
party to May and Dec ,mOer marriage.
No she replied. with glance oward her
husband in the next room. Not a failure;
only temporary embarrassment ''-Neto York
Ledger.
Why IT WAS PosTPoNED.-Charley Jones'
Well, did You propose 10 Miss Binks at the
IompflnS reception last nighl as you intended?
I5obby Smith-No; the conservatory was oc-
cupied at the time | wanted it.
That so? VINO in there?
Miss Bnks and Tom Robinson. Time.
MA. HANKINsoN, you will excuse me if I re-
ceive you in the dinin groom this evening"
Don't m sntion it., Miss Kaiones. 1t is much
more cosey and hOmelike'
1t Is not on That account, Mr.. HankinSOn,
but Bridget has zone in tue parlor to take a
nap on the tongue and given orders that she
must not be disturbed. "-ChicagO Tribune.
Mr.. CRUsTY (r .buking his wife for the me-
| lange of tlis and that upon the hoorp-Aly dear
| l do not like this; there is a place for every
| thing.
Mrs. Crusty (whO is not alarmed, as a rule
| by Mr.. Crusiy S remarks This is the place. too
| isn't it? AMI now that you are here the l.
| lection seems to be complete Philadelphia
| Press.
MIsrREss-Are these the apples sent you to
get?
| Bridget-They are that same.
| MistresS-Why have you bitten them all?
Bridget -Slre, mum, We tould me to git
| nothin' but good attn apples, an | tasted livery
| wan iv thin; an what wild the Crane vans an
| the wormy vans I'm ike to die,-HQrperS
| Bazaar
OVERHEARD IN A BOARDING HoUsE-How are
| you, Butter? How do you feel tonight?
80, am just as strong as possible. How are
| you, Mr.. Coifes?"
'Me; we'll to speak the truth, feel very
| weak. l don't feel settled, and the grounds
| upon which | am admitted into society don't
suit me at all How are you, Miss Aiilk?''
! 20, feel pretty blue. l fell in the water this
| morning aud came near being drowned; but
| don't chalk tlat up anSt me, AMI if you see
| a cow anywhere around I'd lactometer.'
Taen the STEAK yelled out, "oully,' and the
mutton said goat while you're young while the
boiled eggs fairly cackleI in derision.-Floridd
| Times Union.