Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1890-12-20
TEA TABLE SALAD.
LITTLE wife deserted
Now her heart will break
Husband gone and left her
Alto her angel cake.

this morning" Uncle w ItC " Go -
Girl Graduate ''They had lion !, sha We.
inst like a little poodle dog q"
Record. .;co,s
bils?" -, III at
/ them ."-Epoch.
'N Tur hest wav to tell a canvasback duck
| from redhead is 10 iooh az 'Aio
| Boston Herald.
| THE heated summer term IS DER;
| The Precipitation leaves the brow;
The man who used to shut the door
Will always leave it open now. n.a,
- Washington Post
EVEN in the angriest sky clouds may
he the most funne1ly arranged. L. Chicago
| Post. r,:4
| COMPARATIVELY CoMFoRTABLE.--Edil,I
ITO reporter)-"Why did you say that
1cnes. who died yesterday. left his fam
! ilv in comfortable circumstances Z?
Observation-Disclosures he did"
! Editor-'But you know he died
bankrupt" -
| do with it. He has been terror to MS
family for years. They were always I'M
comfortable when he was around, put
now that he is gone circumstances are
comfortable, amt they"> ,,
| Editor-"Well, by comparison, yes.
Teas Sltt5ngs.
BLUpsoN-"No wonder you Bostonians
are such students of philosophy" jack
son-"Why ?" Il never went into q
restaurant in Boston but what | heard
heard several persons ask for Plato
| beans. ''-B0ston Herald.
McGALL-"Do you exchange unsatls-
factory goods?"
Sa1acman-EYaS sir ~
McGall-"Well, here's an overcoat |
got here last year, and think ike
your styles much better. "-Harper's
B0sar.
Mr.. WR1NKLEs-"W hat's the matter,
Nose? You look puzzled,
Nose Coonsticker-"Y esah; Use been
studyin' ober dis Ting in der noospapah,
but KANT make muffin outen it.
Mr.. Wrinkles-"No wonder, poor fell
low; it's negro dialect story. Christ
mas Puck.
"AND now, DOCTOR you will explain to
the Jury what compound fracture Is"
said lawyer in suit in Chicago last
week. cit means where an arm and
leg are broken at once" replied the
NJ D., who is striving to build up
great reputation as surgeon.-Detrod
Free Press.
"WAs your husband insured ?" ayes,
$1,000 in a mutual assessment COM
pany." "Did you get the money? ?" Il
understand that | did. John was the
only member in good standing at the
time of his death, and the assessment
fell on me. But I've got the money. -
Hdrper's B0zdr.
In close application to business moth
ing gets much ahead of mustard plas-
ter.-Rdna's Horn.
SPEAKING of fasting, sailors have been
known to live on salt water for months
at a time Washington Star.
THE frontier settlers think it is high
time Uncle Sam was giving the Indians
an old-fashioned settler.- Washington
Post
THE LATEST boy in school is always
closest to the head of the procession
when the circus is in town.-Binqh0nato
Leader.
If suggestions for name for Mr. AS
tors seventeen story hotelin New York
are still in order, "'The Star" is submit
ted. The is an asterisk. -PhilddeLp1,iG
Ledger.
HUsBAND-"My dear, we will have to
begin to economic right Off" Wife
Dear me-! What has happened ?''
Husband-"Cigars have gone up."-
Nem York Weekly.
His EMPLoYER.--''I can only saw, Mr..
Jones, you have acted like a donkey in
this matter" 'But you mustn't forget,
sir, that acted as your representa-
tive. p Philadelphia Times
GLOW does it happen that DR.. World
ly performs the marriage ceremony for
so many old maids ?' ooh, he ALWAYS
asks them in an audible tone if they are
of age, and they all like him, ''-Ne.y
York Herald
HOFFMAN HowEs-''The world owes
everyone living, doesn't it?''
Temple Court-"Of course it does.n
Hoffman Howes-''Well, collect mine
from 1T for me, and I'll give you half."-
Rarper's Bo2dr
A GREEN COUNTY farmer who decided
all OF his property to his children is
mauling rails for living. A father can
support twelve children, but twelve
children sometimes find it quite diff
cult to support one father.-Kdnsas City
Star.
'WHY, l haven't been able to make
fire IN the stove here all winter #
doesn't draw" Landlord-"So F? Then
1t must have saved about $50 for YOU in
1uel. In such case I'm afraid I'll have
TO raise the rent on .''-H;eoende
BIaetter. S0'''''
In AT THE DEATH.-Druppist- "Wby
do you constantly look back of Won and
smile so idiotically ?" cav
New Clerk-'I read the other dav
that Death is always grinning over the
shoulder of the man hab;nd +Ia VIZ