The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1890-01-31
POOR COUSIN PARKER.
How He Returned All Favors
With Interest.

Tasker family to hold an annual meet
ing in August at East Village. Such
Taskers as were present asked about the
Taskers absent The Taskers absent
wrote letters 20 Abram Tasker at East
Village, who read them aloud at the
family gathering. They related to each
other the stirring family events which
had happened during the year since the
previous family meeting. Sometimes
the TasllerS present were called upon to
commiserate a death, or to discuss an
engagement, or to congratulate young
bride. Sometimes they read of new
Taskers who had come into the world.
Sometimes the squalling new-coming
Tasker presented himself IN propria per-
soma. ih'oys they met to pity and to
blame poor Cousin Parker,
There were Boston TaSkers, and Chi
cago Taskers, and New York Taskers.
Then there were Taskors from every
State in New England. Universally,
however, the Tassers present Felt called
upon every year to contribute for the
benefit of poor Cousin Parker. He lived
away off up in New Hampshire some
where-it was quite indefinite where he
lived, and hitherto he seemed to live on
his relatives.
He had had. it was said by kind-heart-
ed old Abram Tasker. at family gath
ering. the hardest kind of hard luck
Ut made the Chicago Tasber very angry
to hear about his hard luck'') In the
first place" said Abram. '.he never had
ought to hev married Mis- Frink. the
school ma'am Mis- Frink was wilder
lady with nine children: an those chill
dren! they ate Cousin Parker outen
house an home: Yes, they did. Then
he want fitted for Business, an he
oughtn't t have started to manufacture
oleomargarine in butter community.
Cousin Parker nigh lost his life-he was
shot at because of that there oleomarga-
rine in butter community. Then he
hedn't ought [ hev tried borin' for lie
up in that granite region where he lived:
there want no lie there, an Parker
he ought t hev known better. Tl.an he
tried farmin' an failed, because he tried
1t according to a city farmers journal.
He planted at the wrong season. He
done every thing wrong. He seemed to
bev mighty hard luck
Every year there would come to the
meeting either Cousin Parker himself, or
long wall of a letter from Cousin Par
ker describing his Affections and asking
for help, Every year purse was raised.
and the relatives were taxed for Mis-
Frink-Parker's benefit and her nine chill
dren. Every year the assembled Task
erS grumblel. and the Chicago Tasker
stopped coming East because of it. 1T
do SEEM" said Aoram, las if the hull
family was merely Twin from year to
year to kinder support Cousin Parker"
Miss Perkins, whose mother was
Tasker, of Newburyport with the ac
cent, please, on the port, was used
to speaking out in meeting. and she
usually freed her mind every year-she
was regular attendant at these family
meetings. She freed her mind, but at
the same time she gave literally. And
1T was noticed that the louder were her
protests, and the more severe her con-
Gemnation of Cousin Parker's unfortu-
nate business habits, the larger sum she
gave toward his support
Cousin Parker she snapped out at
the meeting last August. don't deserve
any luck. Turned inventor R0,r. has he?
Well, land. what can he invent?'
Hush. Miss Perkins, said Abram:
''Cousin Parker is present with us
Miss Perkins put on her eyeglasses
and looked around the circle of Taskers.
who had assembled IN the great barren
parlor of Abram Tasker's great farm
house. There were several Boston
Taskers On. E., the rich Taskers); there
were the New York Taskers VERY well
Off; there were all the Vermont Task
ers (hard. earnest folk: and there, last
of all, in a corner, almost out of sight.
looking SO forlorn and sheepish that
Miss Perkins could only pity hiw. sat
Cousin Parker hmself'''
He was a small, thin man, with most
distrustful, beseeching expression. His
head was bent forward. his coat was but
sonless and shabby. His eyes were mod
estly bent on the floor. When all the
combined eyes of all the rich and great
Taskers were turned toward him.
he fairly shrivelled up within himself,
and looked furtively toward the door, as
If with view to speedy and ignomin-
ious retreat.
so this is Cousin Parker" exclaimed
Miss Perkins, involuntarily. Land"
Eve would all like to hear from Cousin