The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1890-09-24
PITH AND POINT.

l. - =
No news is bad news-to editors.
The English race-After Americap
girls.
Every dog has his day and the cat
seem to be quarreling over the nights.
Life.
The bears are probably responsible fog
the squeezes on the Stock Exchange.
Puck.
The man who marries q widow hows
he isn't marrying amiss.-Dstroit Bke4
Press.
"And that stout son of yours, WHIT 4
he doing2" "He's o hammock tes
Nes: York Sun.
At a marriage curious people watch a
the church door to see the tied go out
-New Orleans Pieayune.
It is well to make the best of the
world, for you'll never get out of it ali7sA
Great harrington NeUs.
"Why do they call Africa the DARK
Continent9'" ''Because there's 50 much
black ink shed over it."-Puck.
When a man says he has nothing to
say, it is safe to say that there is barrel
full of facts back of his teeth.-Puck.
"What makes Billings look 80 proud7
"His wife is the only member of fth
cooking school who didn't receive
prize. ."-Basar.
No, sir; we do not believe that es
tomatoes produces cancers, but we
seen many q can, ,sir, that contained Y
toes.-LoaceU Courier.
strangs as it may seem, it is the
who has lost his voice that makes
loudest and most disagreeable noise in
choir.-Detrot Free Press. i.
"There is an art in putting on glow
says fashion paper. Come to think
it you have to get your hand in bel
you can master the art.-B9ston Coar
Some men have notion
That it Is their born right
Toimitate their kitchen fire
And 90 out every night.
Art must always get its inspiratid
from nature. The zebra gave US our
idea of striped clothing, and the elephi
was the inventor of loose trousers
Puck.
The information that property 81
s1iust stones throw from the cars" ~
very frequently calculated to impress one
with intense admiration for the man whS|
threw the stone. Washington Hst.
Dumpssy-"Blabson's wife is very
small, isn't shei" Popinjay-"Yes; yog
would hardly believe it, but I havs
heard it said that she goes through hug
pockets every night. ."-BsrIi"gtoa fS3a
I Press.
Edith (soliloquizing)-''Im so glad hea n
proposes by letter. No fuss-no 9slp1l
inc him on-and plenty of time toIx
down to papa's Office and look hin
Bradstreet before I give him an answ ~
Judge. ~
81 am in charge of the whole defz
ment. As the boss says, I am the e
of the house." "Well, as I have
erudoe against the house think shs
take this opportunity to give 1t a biat
eye."-Bazar. 4
Lawyer-"Well, sir, we won the
but it was a pretty narrow vlctol
Client-"Yes, I thought the other a9
had us, until you showed that r.
principal witness was fshermap
Aunseys Weekly. y
clearinghouse Mistress-"aow da
YOU like that water, Mr.. York; Ar;i
York-"It has a milky taste to me.HH
Boarding.house 1iistress-'Excuse mes
Mr.. York, that is the milk you are tastji
ing. Try the glass to the left.
kers Statesman.
Never waste time telling people y
O lot of good things you have done.
the first place they won't believe y9
and in the second place they are waitA
for chance to tell you what lot
good things they have done themselVeSl
-Somercilh Journal. i
Mrs. Brown-"Bridget, I don't underS
stand. You said you paid ten cents fCS
glass of soda-water for Master Edwarda
and vet he tells me did not have any.I
"That's oil right, mum; bought it tog
him, but he was so warm thought y!
might hurt him, so I drank it mysenS
mum. ."-Fliegsnde Blaetter. J
"Williams," said the proprietor of the
restaurant, "don't throw away the corka
of those soda pep bottles" "What good
are theyl" inquired the new waiters
"There's a market for them," replied the
nroprietor. "Owners of excursion steam
boats buy them to mix with the straw in
their life-preservers. ."-Chicago 7r'6uns.'
Ilove you we'll, my sweetheart shy,
I'm true
The maiden hlushing answered,
Love you.
Why do you love me, my adored?-
A pause,
And then she answered with word,
Because"
Boston Courier.
Witness-"Hc looked me straight I'M
the eve and" Lawyer-"There, sir,
you've fatty contradicted your 'former' e,;
statement" Witness -" How so2,
Lawyer-:sYou said before that he bent
his gaze on you, and now you'll please.
explain how he could look you straight
in the eye with bent gaze" (Wltnessl
H.. T,oI,