davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
DeSoto times. (Hernando, Miss.) 1879-1898, 1890-12-04
HUMOROUS.

ou dont eaten me ever getting
trunk again" "Why not?" because
while on my last spree paid all my
debts "-Fliegende Blatter.
"A close observation is likely toIead
to the conclusion that what the human
mind most Graves is some slight pre-
text for going crazy. Washing ton Post.
"A Boston child, becoming impatient
at its mothers delay in hearing its
evening prayers, exclaimed: Come,
mamma, bod s a-waitin'. ."-Lowell Mail.
-Teacher-"Now, can any of the
pupils tell me what is meant by the
nave of the church," Bright Boy
'Ihe man who takes up the collec-
tion. "-America.
1t is claimed that an able-bodied
whale can spout all day without getting
tired. An able-bodied lawyer can do
the same thing, but it makes the jury
very weary. ry.-Ram's Horn.
-"Well, l must 90 now" said Chollfe.
whats your hurry?" asked Ethel. ITS
five minutes Of twelve, and my motto in
life is: Never put off till tomorrow
what you can do to-day. "-Lynn Press.
Did you make much on your last
stock deal?" mo; lost seven hundred
dollars" "Bst l thought that MacDol-
lars gave you pointer" He did; but
it proved to be disappointor. THE
Bostonian.
-"Charity, my dear breddern, kivers
multitude Of sins, but eff yo Glib one
cent to an organ grinders monkey it
doan entitle 20 to go around wild er
smile on 20 face as if yo wuz ez inner
cent OBJ sin ez two-days-old baby. -
Rev. Pink PUNK.
The Beauties of Venice. .-'Yes, we
went all over Europe, but papa really
only enjoyed himself in Venice.' "Ah,
yes, no wonder! The gondolas, st.
Marks, the Rialto, the" "Oh, it
wasn't that. But he could sit in the
hotel, you know, and fish out of the
windows. ."-Philadelphia Times.
The Rival Lawyers. FIRST LAWYER
My client is charged with a grave Of
fense and should be granted an imme-
date hearing" Second Lawyer-'My
clients case should be first heard, your
Honor. He is accused of stealing an
etcher's kit, and | insist that his is a |
yraver offense. "-Jeweler's Weekly.
An Englishman claims to have pro-
luced 'phone" which magnifies the
human voice until an ordinary whisper
AN be heard half mile away. With
such phone" a woman ought to be
tble to mako her twelve-year-old son,
Who is playing marbles in the street.
rear her when she calls him to perform
N and-but it wouldn't be safe to bet
N it.-No-ris town Herald.
Where knowledge Fails. -Knowl.
dge is power; knowledge is food,
rink and raiment to him who hath an
bundant supply 1t has built the
Mighty city where once the forest stood,
has put a girdle around the earth,
nd built peanut roaster that runs by
lock work. 1t plows the sea, walks on
he oceans bed, and makes the planets
ONE down and talk of things not
reamed Of in the philosophy of other
avs; but it can not, and never will, be
bic to keep q country school teacher
1t while he has to board round and
IKE his chances with feast and famine
Rams Horn.
DeSoto times. (Hernando, Miss.) 1879-1898, 1890-12-04

I'D like to know what's the matter
with that new servant girl" said De
Kique to his wife. II have shouted and
stormed and protested for quarter of
ar hour over the way she made the Of
fec, and she doesn't pay the slightest
attention to me. thought you said you
hired her with especial reference tc
me-"
$50 did, John" was the reply. "She
is deaf and dump. Washington Post.
DeSoto times. (Hernando, Miss.) 1879-1898, 1890-12-04

-Nellie-'"Strange that Ethel should
marry beneath her." Clara - ''Why,
George is splendid fellow" Nellie
Eyes, ! know that, but he is so much
shorter than Ethel. boston Herald.
DeSoto times. (Hernando, Miss.) 1879-1898, 1890-12-04
The City of the Dead.

Brooklyn Man-Oh, yes; I'll admit
chat Chicago has outstripped us in popu-
iation, and has fine buildings and all
that but there's one point in which you
can't compare with us.
Chicago Mainland pray what is that?
Brooklyn Man-We have the finest
cemeteriea in the United States. Light,
DeSoto times. (Hernando, Miss.) 1879-1898, 1890-12-04

In0uiss,ve Person--I understand, sir,
that you make your living by your penF
Great Author-Well, sir, you are quite
wrong | use typewriter, exclusive.
'y,.--Light
DeSoto times. (Hernando, Miss.) 1879-1898, 1890-12-04
4 Lady Naturalist.

Fraulein Won Chauyin. the German
lady scientist in natural history, at
tractod much fattering attention at the
recent congress of Berlin, where she
even had her place nexttONirchow. Frau
lein Won Chauvin, having been prevent
ed through ill-health from going through
the regular school routine, including
languages, has concentrated all her in
terest in the study and observation Of
animal and vegetable life. She has, by
her ingenious experiments and discov-
cries, proved herself a natural scientist
OF the frst-class, and enjoys a wide and
general reputation as such.
Her ariary is regular N0ah's ark where
she, as She says by her love forces tho
most different animals to live pcaccablv
together. Nultures, pigeons, ravens. owls,
fowls, parrot storIl pGacocks, ducks,
etc, all get on together in the best pos
s1ble manner, and know and obey the
voice of their mistress. A Siamcse cat
has its quarters in the same care as
Egyptian rats; but they take no
notice Of each other Fraulcin Won Chau
wins collection of butterflies is the
most perfect in Germany. Also within
the vegetable world this gifted lady has
wrought many wonders, and She has
reared flowers and seeds where no botanic
garden has succeeded. Her health does
not allow her to read or write much; but
one or two Of her treatises have attract
ed great attention. london Queen.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1890-01-09
A LIFE.PRESERVER,

thrown to you ladies in the sea Of troubles
that threatens to enguf you in its danger
fraught waves, SO to speak, and one that
will float you over its threatening crests
with perfect safety, is found in DR.. Pierce's
Favorite Prescription. You make dan
gerous mistake if you do not seize and make
use of it if you are afflicted with any of
those distressing ailments peculiar to your
sex, styled female complaints" for it is a
guaranteed remedy for all such ills. In
fact, it is the only medicine sold by drug
gists, for such ailments, under a positive
guarantee from the manufacturers, of sat
isfaction in every case, or money refunded
Read guarantee on bottle-wrapper, which
has been faithfully carried out for many
years.
As a powerful, invigorating tonic, it i'm
parts strength to the whole system, and
to the womb and its appendages in par
ticular For overworked, " WORKOUT"
rundown" debilitated teachers, nlilliners,
dressmakerS, seamstreSses, shop girls, :"
housekeepers, nursing mothers and feeble
women generally, DR.. Pierce's Favorite Pre-
scription is the greatest earthly boon, being
unequaled as an appetizing cordial and re-
storative tonic.
As soothing and strengthening nervine,
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1890-01-09
1890. SUNSHINE AND MOONLIGHT 1880.
Another Christmas and New Years An
nuaI, by "A Man." of the Rock Island
Route, Now Ready for Distribution.

Another Christmas and New Years An
nuaI, by a Man." of the Rock Island
Route, Now Ready for Distribution.
The 'sBoys and Girls of America" and
adults as well, who have read the instruct
i've pages of watt Stephen" 1SS5l, ''Vol-
tagal," QSS6), Petroleum." QSS7), "Coal
and Coke" QSSS) and Iron and Steel, :"
1889, will be pleased to know that the
latest and brightest of the famous Rock
ISLAND series, Sunshine and MoonIight,n
lS9Ol now confidently awaits that chorus
OF approval which welcomed each of its
predecessors.
"a Man. invites the attention of his in
quisitive boy and girl visitors this year, to
wonders in the heavens above, revealed by
the telescope. He tells them all about the
sun, moon, planets, satellites, fixed stars,
comets, and their movements, and ex-
plains the laws by which they are gov
erned. The achievements of science in
the fie Id of astronomical research are pre-
sented in language so clear as to be easily
understood by all readers. The book fasci-
mates, while it elevates and improves.
Sunshine and Moonlight comprises 112
pages, profusely illustrated with choice
engrayings. Its covers are ornamented
with appropriate designs, beautifully print
ed in colors. Practically, tits Christmas
gift to the patrons and friends of the Rock
ISLAND ROUTE. and will be sent postpaid to
any part of the world (as also previous
issues, if desired) at the nominal price of
ten (l0) cents per copy. Write your ad,
dress plainly and iuclose ten (10l cents in
stamps or coin, to JNO. SEBASTIAN. G.. T. q
P. A, Chicago
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1890-01-09

"Favorite Prescription " is unequaled and
is invaluable in allaying and subduing
nervous e1citability, irritability, exhaus-
ton, prostration, hysteria, spaSms and other
distressing, nervous symptoms, commonly
attendant upon functional and organic dis
ease of the womb 1t induces refreshing
sleep and relieves mental anxiety and de-
spondency.
DR.. Pierce's Favorite Prescription is a
legitimate medicine, carefully compounded
by an experienced and skillful physician,
and adapted to woman's delicate organiza-
ton. 1t is purely vegetable in its compost
ton and perfectly harmless in any condition
OF the system.
"Favorite Prescription is positive cure
for the most complicated and Obstinate cases
of leucorrhea, excessive flowing, painful
menstruation, unnatural suppressions, pro-
lapsus, or falling of the womb, weak back,
female weakness" anteversion, retriever
sion, bearing-down sensations, chronic con-
geStion, inflammation and liberation of the
womb, inflammation, pain and tenderness
in Ovaries, accompanied with internal
heat
For an Illustrated Treatise on Diseases
of Women, 100 pages, (sent sealed in plain
envelope,l enclose ten cents in stamps,
to WORLDS DIsPENsARY MEDICAL AssO-
CITATION, No. 66S Main Street, Buffalo,
n. Y.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1890-01-09
Egypt and Jerusalem, Via the Azores
Gibraltar, Naples and Rome.

A tour of ladies and gentlemen to visit
the East. The ocean steamer "Circassian."
1874 tons, has been chartered to start with
the party from New York February 10. Re
turn, through France, England and Scot
land about May 9Th. The second section
arriving in New Y DIRK not far from June 18th.
The main tour will cost less than $500 in
its cheapest form. Radiatory excursions to
Ephesus, Constantinople, Vienna, &c, can
be added to the route for reasonable in
crease of expense.
Rollo Floyd, the prince of Syrian Drago-
men, will have charge of the Oriental sec
ton; and Messrs Gaze & Son, of London,
have been engaged to manage the European
section. Rev. DR.. c. F. Thomas, an ex-
perienced director of foreign tours, will
have general charge en- route Anumber of
young ladies have already been booked, as
Mrs. Thomas will have charge of a depart
ment for them.
This will be the most for the money ever
before offered in this line. For further
particulars address Geo. Nay Powell, p. o.
box 700, Philadelphia, Pa
NoTE.-A ten days special trip from Cairo
to Karnak is also provided for.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1890-01-09
Ten HIndoo Commandments.

There are ten commandments hung
on the walls of the Hindoo Theological
College in Madras Homeward Mail re-
produces them: "(D Pray to God as
soon as you rise from your bed-5-5:1O a.
m. (2) Wash your body and keep your
surroundings clean-5:1O-5:SO a. m. (S)
PROSTATE yourself before your parents
or guardians and take good exercise
5:SO-6:SO a. m. a. Prepare your school
lessons-6:Sc-9 a. n. (5) Attend school
regularly and punetually and do the
school work properly. (6) Obey and re-
spect your teachers and the teachers
of the other classes and other respect
able persons. (7l Read till p. m. at
home. Isl Pray to God and go to bed
9 p. m. TO 5 a. m. 90 Keep good aom-
pany and avoid bad company. (1O)
Practice righteousness at all times. -
London Standard
THERE is always more misery among
the lower classes than there is humani
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1890-01-09
Consumption surely Cured.

To THE EDIToR:-Please inform your
readers that have a positive remedy for
the above named disease. By its timely
use thousands of hopeless cases have been
permanently cured / shall be glad to send
two bottles Of my remedy FREE to any of
your readers who nave consumption if they
will send me their express and post-ofice
address Respectfully, T. A. SLOCUN. NJ c.,
Isl Pearl street. New York
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1890-01-09

HACKETT, ARKANSAS, Aug. 20, 1887.
DR.. A. T. SHALLENBERGER,
Rochester, Pa. Dear SRI wish
you to send me bottle of your Antidote for
Malaria, which see advertised in the Meth
Odtst 4dUocdte, Chattanooga, Tenn, and
which 1 can not get here. Fifteen years
ago my mother had third-day chills, and
after trying the doctors and other medi-
cines without relief, a friend recommended
your Antidote; she tried it, and one dose
effected permanent cure. Truly yours,
J. S. EDWARDS,
Pastor NJ. f. Church.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1890-01-09
Syrup OF Figs,

Produced from the laxative and nutritious
juice OF California figs, combined with the
medicinal virtues Of plants known TO be
most beneficial to the human system, acts
gently. on the kidneys, liver and bowels, eff
fectuaIy cleansing the system, dispelling
colds and headaches, and curing habitual
constipation.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1890-01-09
CATARRH.
Catarrhal Deafness-Hay Fever-A Ne
Home Treatment.

Home Treatment.
Sufferers are not generally aware that
these diseases are contagious, or that they
are due to the presence OF living parasites
in the lining membrane of the nose and
eustachian tubes Microscopic research,
however, has proved this to be fact, and
the result Of this discovery is that a simple
remedy has been formulated whereby
Catarrh, Hay Fever and Catarrhal Deafness
are permanently cured in from one to three
simple applications made at home by the
patient once in two weeks.
n. B.-This treatment is not snuff or an
ointment; both have been discarded by
reputable physicians as injurious. a pamph-
let explaining this new treatment is sent on
receipt of three cents in stamps to pay
postage by A. II. Dixon & Son, cor. of John
and King Street, Toronto, Canada--Chris-
ain Affroe0fe
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1890-01-09

GOOD many people publicly thank the
Lord for their prosperity, who would be
very mad if somebody should suggest that
they were not mainly responsible for it
themselves Journal
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1890-01-09

ARE any of the new washing compounds
as good as the old-fashioned soapl Dobbins'
Electric Soap has been sold every day for
"a years, and is now just as good as ever.
Ask your grocer for it and take no other
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1890-01-09
WHEN the summers rose has faded
What shall make il fair again2
When the face W tn pain Is shaded
What shall drive away the pain?
Ne shall blossom brighten

When the face W tn pain Is shaded
What shall drive away the pain!
Never shall blossom brighten
After blighted by the frost,
But the load of pain may tighten,
And we need not count as lost
all the pleasure of life when the wife and
mother, upon whom the happiness of home
so largely depends, is afflicted with the del
icate diseases peculiar to women. tits ter
rible to contemplate the misery existing in
our midst because of the prevalence of
these diseases. 1t is high time that all
women should know that there is only one
sure remedy for all female complaints, and
that is DR.. Pierces Favorite Prescription.
Do not allow ill-health to fasten itself upon
you. Ward it off by the use of this stand
ard remedy. But if it has already crept in.
put it to rOut You can do it, by the use of
the 'Favorite Prescription. 1t is guar
anteed TO give satisfaction in every case, or
money paid for it will be returned.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1890-01-09

PAIN from indigestion, dyspepsia and too
hearty eating is relieved at once by taking
one of Carter's Little Liver Pills immediate
~ after dinner. Don't forget this
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1890-01-09

A CoUGH, COLD, OR SORE THROAT should
not be neglected. Browns BRONCHIAL
TRoCHEs are a simple remedy, and give
prompt relief. 25 cts. box.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1890-01-09

WHEN you truly and devotedly love .
girl who is as rich as she is pretty, it's hard
to take no for an answer.-Epoch
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1890-01-09

THE man W hOpreaches without advancing
new idea or making an old one clearer is
mistt and ought to be Jumped of TO the
auctioneer. Journal
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1890-01-09

IT is interesting to note how poker is per-
meating our best society. When one lady
goes to see another she caIls.-Merchant
Traveller.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1890-01-09

DEATH has no terrors to the tradesman
who furnishes the floral tribute at the
funeraL-Boston Transcript.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1890-01-09
LUMB AGO.

TIGHT shoes may be classed as articles of
hard wear.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1890-01-09

BRONCHITIS is cured by frequent small
doses of Pisc's Cure for Consumption.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1890-01-09

BEST place to hold the Worlds Fair
right around the waist.-Boston Herald
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1890-01-09

AN engagement is very fragile thing.
It can not be dropped without breaking it.
-Terre Haute Express.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1890-01-09
Oregon, the Paradise of Farmers.

Mild, equitable climate, certain and abundant
crops. Best fruit, grain, grass, stock country
In the world. Fullinformation free. Address
Oregon ImmigrationBoard,P Portland, Oregon
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1890-01-09
HACKETF. ARKANSAS, Au

IT takes good deal of sand to perpetrate
some sugar frauds.-Hutchinson Kan
News
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1890-01-09

ARE as small as homeopathic pellets, and
as easy to take as sugar. Everybody likes
them. Carter Little Liver Pills. Try them.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1890-01-09

For biliousness, sick headache, indigestion,
and constipation, take DR.. Pierce's Pellets.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1890-01-09

POCKET pin-cushion free to smokers of
''Tansill's Punch sc. Cigar.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1890-01-09

A GRAND JURY never goes behind the re-
Gurns in finding its counts.-N. o. Picayune.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1890-01-09

WHEN lightning strikes it admits Of N
bitration.-Burlingto Free Press
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1890-01-09
OK &C II z.

Victoria, Tex, June -, 1883.
was in bed two months with backache;
suffered about three months. / was cured by
ST. Jacobs Oil permanently; no return in Il
months CIV. JEFFERSON.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1890-01-09
ian AdrOcdtc.

Sufferers from Catarrhal troubles shonlc
carefully read the above
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1890-01-09

AT DRUGGISTs AND DEALERS.
TIE CHARLES L. VoGELER CO.. Baltimore. Nd. -
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1890-01-09
| CURE Fits !

When cure do not merely TO stop them
for time and thea have them return again. mean
radical cure have made the disease Of T1TS, EPI-
LEPSY or FALLING SICKNESS lifelong study. I
rant my remedy 10 the worst cases. Because
Others have failed Is for not receiving
Send u for treatise and Free Iottle OF
my infallible remedy Give Express and Post Ofce-
Il G. ROGT. VI. C.. Is3 Pearl street, New York.
ssS1NE THIS PAPER sss-J NJ. ysa WIT.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1890-01-09

THERE is always more misery among
the lower classes than there is humani
tY in the higher.-Yietor HUGO.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1890-01-09

WHEN WRITING To ADVERTISERS PLEASE
state that you Jaw the AdVertiss@sat In tAAs
DsDeRs
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1890-09-20
LuraY. Virginia

First Grand Public Sale of one thousand
Resident aud Business Lots and villa Sites
at the new industrial manufacturing city
of Lurey, Virginia, In the beautiful Valley
of the Shenandoah, rich in iron, manganese.
copper, asbestos, fire, terra cote and porce-
lain clays, hard woods, limestone, states and
srher valuable minerals, takes place the
24th and % b OF September, 1890, at Luray
sale to begin at l D. M. Aspecia excursion
ever the B. &. o r r from New York,
Philadelphia and Baltimore will be run on the
Oath to reach LuTay in time for dinner. The
Shenandoah Valley Railroad will tfl'r sps-
cialy low rates-one fare good for the round
trip, four days limit. The Norfolk and
Western, Chess p ,ake and Ohio, Cumberland
Valley, Western Maryland and other con-
Meeting lines will offer low rates to the sale.
TIE lots to be offered are choice location,
being In close proximity to the famous
Lurey Ion, possessing natural drainage,
lovely views of theI Page and Shenandoah
Valleys, Blue Ridge ard picturesque MassG-
mutton ranees. The Val ey Land and im-
provement Company, which has this great
enterprise in hand has placed ONE MILLION
OF its stock, and the industries already Sc
cured and negotiating assures beyond any
doubt Luray's great future. The one thou
sand lots will be offered low, and ss an in
vestment will have no equal. There will
be over thousand capitalists here days
OF SALE
For full particulars as to Lurey's natural
resources future, etc, together with full
particulars of the sale, write
THOMAS E MCCoBKLE. Secretary
I,nray Va