The Opelousas courier., 1890-12-13
BILL o R LETTER
On the late Republican Cyclone to Major
Dan McGary, Houston, Tex.
tiopaI Democrat, Wagbineton, y, G

and cyclone in November. On the day
he left indianapolis to vote he was in
high feather. He had just signed the
commissions of a few more negro post
masters, and expressed the opinion
that the negroes would rally and carry
at least a half dozen of the Southern
States for the Republican party. l
couldn't help feeling sorry for him, and
I said:
"Mr. Harrison, you are the most in
nOcent MAI on the road, [ never heard
of but one human being who knew less
about coming events than yourself"
"Who was that unsophisticated mar
to whom you allude ~
1t was not Il man at all, Mr.. Presi-
dent. 1t was IA young lady living in
Boston. She was married to the man
of her choice. After the ceremony was
over, and the happy couple were alone,
she said impressively Nov John,
| want it distinctly understood that no
babies are to be brought into the
house." She was perfectly in earnest
in her belief about babies, just as you
are about politics. She learned better
in time, and after the 4th of November
you too, Mr.. Harrison, will have &C
quired some valuable experience"
Harrison smiled one of his 10 degrees
below zero smiles, and bid me good-by.
I've not seen him smile since, and |
don't think anybody else has.
/ admit that / did not expect quite
as clean IA sweep as it has been, but the
Republican leaders have been much
more surprised than the lightning was
when it struck IL magazine containing
40 tons of powder.
1t was an early frost, the like of
which has never been seen before
Harrison's head droops, for his Presi-
Dental hopes have been nipped in the
bud Reed is very badly wilted, and
as for Mckinley he has been cut down
entirely.
Mckinley should procure a copy of
Shakespeare and read Henry VIII. and
ponder over the words of Cardinal
Woolsey:
The tender leaves of hope tomorrow bios
SONS.
And bears his b~lushing honors thick upon
him:
The fourth day comes a frost, "a killing frost
And-when he thinks, good easy man, full
surely
His greatness is a ripening- nips his root.
And then he falls as / do"
/ met Mckinley just before Congress
adjourned, and | took occasion to say
to him: Mac, did you ever read about
the fellow who succeeded in driving a
ten penny nail into a can of nitro gly-
cerinefh
He replied that he had not read any
| thing about it.
"Well, Mac" I retorted, "you will
read something about it On the 5th OF
November, if you read the papers very
much. 1t will be too much like look
ing into an nndertaker's Window
Mckinley thought it vas a joke.
That was before the election. Now he
can say with one of England's kings
under equally sad circumstances:
"Of comfort no man speaks:
Let's talk of graves, of worms and epitaphs."
| also warned Tom Reed. Tom tried
to be very familiar with me, as he is
with everybody out of whom he ex-
poets to make anything. He has been
in the habit of taffying me SO as to
pump me about Harrison, and his sec
ond term aspirations, but the states
man who tries to get any reliable in
formation out. of Col. Bill Snort, of
Texas, may be compared to an infant
swine, a span long, clinging to the IT.
responsive dug of a bronze lioness.
YTTI,1,, Dad aojrnI mn yuhot flnprht
of the outlook for the g. o. p, a pro,
phetic spell came over me, and l pro-
phesied as follows
Thomas, after the election, you
will stand before your friends, il you
have any left, and say | stand be-
fore you something like a cross be-
tween Ajax defying the lightning and
a man who has been thrown out of a
barbershop for insinuating that his urn
came next. For me there will not be
any rose colored sunset-any hoWerJ
sunlit future; no, not even a chrome.
The wild hopes of my violet tinted,
circumambient ambition have soured
on me. l feel very much like the lit
tie girl who started out to make her
doll a dress but, 10 and behold it
turned out to be a pair of pants. The
political sands of the evergreen shore
of political ambition have slipped be-
meath my feet, and next time the Office
hunts the man in the vicinity of Lake
Pasaglmmxrmoosequady, it will-the
Office will-have to use q microscope
of immense power. A while ago the
sonorous echoes of my voice. raised in
eloquent cadenees in the House, were
waited to San Francisco and all over
the country before tea time, and now
% the election is over, You might
pinch off the ex- speakef,sAead and roll
it reeking from one end o~f1Pennsylva-
MIA avenue to the other, and nobody
would say : This is Reedh Dammit !"
by thunder, Snort, | hope there is
no truth in what you are saying said
Reed, looking scared. "A while ago.
/ continued, Speaker Reed could say
to the House Fire this white Demo-
crat, and seat this administration mig.
ger, who was not elected, in his place.
and it was done quicker than IL man
could put down a hot plate. Or, he
could go to the head of a department,
and say Bounce this man. and he was
Instantly fred down the broad stone
steps and out into the cold. There
was a time when Reed only had to hint
to the Senate, DO this and it was
done, when he could say to a cabinet
officer Come and he came a running
with his tongue hanging out; but, now
the returns are all in, and the gaugers
of high wines and the cleaners of the