The great West. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1889-18??, 1890-05-09
The ARIZONA KICKER.
Extracts CuIcd by Tho Detroit Free Pres
from Its Latest Issue.

md
from Its Latest Issue.
WE TOLD You So.-Six weeks ago man
named Scott opened grocery store on. Co
manche street, and when we casually dropped
in and mentioned the fact that The Kicker
was the best advertising medium in the west,
he didn't enthuse. We Enew there was some
thing wrong about him, and we sent his de-
scription to the sixty-fou sheriffs and chiefs
of police who are constantly in communica-
ton with U.S.
Last Thursday, just after we had gone to
press, detective arrived from Louisville and
collared Mr.. Scott, who is defaulting county
treasurer He has left US, and we bought the
stock OF groceries at about twenty-five cents
on the dollar. Had Mr.. Scott advertised he
would doubtless have built up large anS
profitable business, but he took wrong view
of it, and will probably go to state prison for
fifteen or twenty years.
Poor OLD PALsY!-We never refer to our
contemporary down the street if we can avoid
it. In the first place, he hasn't got enough
brains or Office to deserve the title, and in the
next he is poor, palsied old man who is
gradually dying of envy and starvation, and
we shall have to foot his burial expenses when
he does go. The other week we mentioned
our private graveyard and its five occupants.
This so excited the jealousy of the old relic of
the Seventeenth century that he borrowed a
revolver and took q trip around town yes
terday in search of blood. He finally found
one of Col. McCrackens Digger Indians
asleep in the sun, and opened fire on him from
distance of four feet. He didn't even wake
the red skin up, and Judge Tallman, who OBJ
jected to so much noise around his house,
went out and drove poor old palsy away with
broom.
We are sorry for him. They say he cried
while goin. back to his one-horse alleged
newspaper, and no wonder. He should never,
have come west. He came, as we ascertained,
to evade arrest for bigamy, but he should
have taken some other route. When nature
fits man to raise hollvhocks in New Jersey
he has no business comirg west to try to raise
that other product.
NOT HIS FAULT-A number of our towns
people have expressed the hope that we would
pitch into DR.. Staghorn, the popular drug
gist: for killing old man Slew 10y putting up
arsenic for quinine in a prescription. We
shall do nothing Of the sort. The doctor has
not only increased his advertising one-half
this week, but has subscribed for five copies
of The Kicker to send away. While this, Of
course, does not influence us in the least, we
know from personal observation that the doc
tor is a very busy man, and that the room in
his store is limited. He has no choice but to
keep many different sorts of powders in the
same drawer, and it is only to be expected
that a mistake should happen now and then.
Furthermore, who was old Slew, anyhow2
A lazy, dissipated vagabond, whom the boys
would have hung in the course of few
weeks at best. In footing his funeral ex-
penses the doctor has shown himself very
liberal and fair minded, and he has shown
himself in various ways to belong to that
class wanted in this town to build it up.
No EXTRA CHARGE.-In this issue we pub
lish the full particulars of two executions,
one Jail delivery, three shooting ARRAYS, one
highway robbery, two fist fights, three dog
fights, one found dead, a drowning accident,
the arrest of road agent, the deaths of two
Mexicans in the late blizzard and the stealing
of Judge Sprouts four mule team.
The thing down the street which calls itself
a newspaper, and talks about its lightning
press and wild eyed corps of editors from
New York, has, to match all this, a cooked
up account of fight between a jackass rabbit
and government camel, with its editor for
the sole spectator and reporter Is it any
wonder that the people of Arizona can't wait
for The Kicker to be issued each week, and
that dozens of them roost on our doorsteps
all night Wednesday night to get copies the
first thing Thursday morning! All this and
no extra charge, and no handbills out ON
nouncing that anything unusual was going
onl-Detroit Free Press.