Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1890-03-08
The AGENTS DEFEAT.
Ms Strikes . Lady who ,Knsw An Aboui
Photography.


Ms STRIKES . Lady who Knew An About
Photography.
Scene: Suburban residence. A gen.
tlemanly person awaits the coming Of
the lady Of the house, who presently ap-
pears.
He-Madam, have taken the liberty
Of calling Upon you to explain our
new system Of club pictures and to
show you few specimens OF our work.
She-My dear sir, L
He-Quite so. You were about to OBJ
serve that you were very busy this morn
ing, and besides you did not caro- for any
photographs at present Your next-door
neighbor said the same thing, but, new
ertheless, when she had seen the beau
tiful pictures which 1 shall be pleased
to show you she decided at once to take
Q ticket for one dozen Of these exquisite
works of art.
She (frigidly)-What my next-door
neighbor does is nothing to me, sir, and
/ don't want
He-Really, madam, it's no trouble,
assure you. know you were about to
observe that you did not want to trouble
me to show you these charming speci-
mems, but am persuaded that you will
be delighted with them. And then they
are so reasonable in price, when you
take into consideration the high grade
of work, that it is positively like giving
them away.
She Cmpatiently)-sir, Ihave no time
to
He-No time to sit for pictures just
now you were about to say, but can as
sure you there is no time limit about
this system. You merely give me fifty
cents in exchange for the coupon, and
call at the gallery wheneverit suits your
convenience, pay five dollars more, and
have your sitting. You are then en-
titled to one dozen elegant imperials and
one copy of this new and beautiful dis
coyery Of the art, called
She-See here. you, sir, / want you to
understand that If had my way l would
put every photographer in the country
in jail. Pictures, indeed! Do. you see
the stains all over my carpet? That's
where my husband, who is an amateur
photographer, split some of his chemi..
Gals. Do you see the hole burnt in that
piano cover? That's where he ruined 1t
by trying to take flash light picture
and came near setting the house s-fire,
to say nothing OF frightening the baby
into commissions. There's scarcely
decent piece OF crockery in the house
that has escaped being utilized as de-
veloping dish, or for some other such
purpose.
He-But my dear madam
She-Don't dear me. i know your
vile tricks, sir. If it. hadn't been for
your miserable art-art, indeed!-my
house would not resemble pig-pen.
Look at my mantel-pieces, closets,
tables and bathroom, and, in fact, look
at the whole house! 1t is filled from
top to bottom with some evidence of
your vile trade. Five dollars dozen!
would not give you five cents for all
the trash you can make. I've had pho
Biography for breakfast, dinner and sup
per till I'm sick Of it, and If you don't
get out Of this house this minute I'll
call the hired man to set the dog on you.
He-Really, madam, I'm sorry
She-No, you're not. That's what you
always say-that's what my husband
says when he has ruined some fresh
thing with his nasty compounds. That's
what he said when he split muriatic
acid over the front breadth Of my new
evening dress. Sorry! Now, tell you
what, If you don't get outside that door
in something less than no time you will
have cause to be sorry in earnest And
Just you remember to tell at the next
house you 60 to up the road that their
next neighbor didn't decide at once TO
take ticket.
Gentlemanly person beats hasty re-
treat--N. Y. Sun.