The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1890-09-21


'THEY ALL COME BACK TO SEE THE
DEACON"
when she come into the wilderness to
live and paid her little old So week
just as regular as Saturday night come
round
"These boys picked on mine all summer
because my boys was plain little fellers
with no underwear, but good impulses
and a general desire to lay low and
eventually git there, understand. Ny
boys is considerable bleached as regards
hair. and freckled as to features, and they
are not ready in conversation like town
boy, but they would no more drive
dumb animal through the woods till
it was all het up. or take new mich
COW and scare the dayhghts out of her
and yell at her and pull out her tail and
send her home with her pores all open,
than they'd be sent to the legislature
without crime.
ga neighbor of mine that see these
boys when they was scarin' my COW to
death said if they'd of been his'n he'd
rather foller 'em to their grave than zee
em do that. That's putting of it rather
strong, but believe would myself
rive had nice old man that come
out here to attend church, he said.
He belonged to big church in
town, where it cost him SO much
that he could hardly look his maker
in the face, he said. Last winter,
he said, they sold the pews at auction,
and he had an affection for one, specially
cause he and his wife had set in it all
their lives, and now that she was dead he
wanted it, as he wanted the roof that had
been over them all their married lives.
So he went down when they auctioned
EN- off, as it seems they do in those big
churches, and the bidding started nloder-
ate, but run up till they put a premium
on his'n that froze him out, and he had
to take cheap one where he couldn't
hear very well and it made him sort of
bitter. Then in May, he says, the Pales-
tine rash broke out among the preachers
in New York, and most of 'em had to go
to the Holy Land to get over it, because
that is the only thing you can do with
the Palestine rash when it gets a hold
on pastor. So he says to me, I come
out here mostly to see if could get any
late information from the Throne of
Grace
HE was rattlin' fine old Teller, and
told me good deal about one thing and
another. He said he'd seen it stated in
the paper that salvation was free, but in
New York he said it was pretty well
protected for an old established industry.
"He knew Deacon Decker pretty we'll
Deacon Decker was an old playmate of
Jay Gould's, but didn't do SO well as
Jay did. He went once to New York
after. he got along in years, and Gould
knew him, but he couldn't seem to place
Gould. Why, Decker says Gould.
don't you know me? Decker says, That's
all right. You bet know We. You're
one of these fellers that knows every
body. There's another Teller around the
corner that helps you to remember folks.
/ know We. Tread the papers. Git out.
Seat. Torment We. amt in here to-.
day buyin' green goods, nor yet to lift a
freight bill for We. So avaunt before l
sick the police on ye.'
Finally Jay identified himself, and
shook dice with the deacon to see which
should buy the lunch at the dairy
kitchen.
Deacon Decker once in church discov-
cred loose knot in his pew seat, and
while considering the plan of redemp-
ton thoughtlessly. pushed with consider
able force on this knot with his thumb.
At first it resisted the pressure, but
finally it slipped out and was succeeded
by the deacon's thumb. No one saw it,
SO the deacon, slightly flushed, gave it a
stealthy wrench, but the knot hole had
sharp conical bottom, and the edge
soon caught and secured the rapidly
swelling thumb of Deacon Decker.
During the closing prayer he worked
at it with great diligence and all the
saliva he could spare. but it resisted. 1t
was sad sight. Finally he gave it up,
and said to himself the struggle was use
less. He tried to be resigned and wait
till all had gone. He shook his head
when the plate was passed to him, and
only bowed when the brethren passed
! him on the way out. Some thought that
may be he was cursed with doubts, but
recl0oned that they would pass away.
FINALLY he was missed outside. He
was generally SO clipper and so CHEEKY.
So his wife was asked about him. why,
fathers inside. I'll go and get him. I
never knew him to miss shaking hands
with all the folks
$50 she went in and found Deacon
Decker trying to interest himself in a
lesson leaf with one hand, while his other
was concealed under his hat. He could
fool the neighbors, but he could not fool
his wife, and SO she hustled around and
told one or two, who told their wives,
and they all came back to see the deacon
and make suggestions to him.
This little incident is true. and while
it does not contain any special moral, it
goes to show that an honest man gathers
no moss. and also explains large cir
cular hole and the tin patch over it
which may still be seen in the pew where
Deacon Decker used to Sit
In future letter l propose giving
some historical points regarding Della
ware county and the Catskill region ut