The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1890-01-27
EDISON'S FlEND CLOCK.
The Wizards Latest Invention Has
Diabolical Possibilities.

Thomas Edison. the phenomenal IN
ventor. has reached a critical stage in
his career, and II would be u strange
sarcasm Of ate If his latest invention
should make him positively abhorrent
to thegrowing generation. Over in his
laboratory at Llewellyn Park is this in
vention. 1t has been tried and found
perfect, and it is a photographic
clock which, instead of Ginning the
hours, calls them out at every quarter
in a voice .uif of clearness. 1t may
be fitted with any set TO suit the pur-
poses for which il may be intended.
TO a reporter it was exhibited yester-
day.
The inventor was CHEEKY and play
full as he ALWAYS is. THE clock, said
he, lis an improvement, and if it were
only in the market now it might save
you reporters a great deal of worri-
ment. For instance, say you were at
a political meeting with a dozen
| speakers carded. They are each to
have a half hour. You know what
a fiction that is. But now, If you
had a clock like this, see how it would
work" and here Mr.. Edison placed a
set within it He pointed the hand
to the quarter of an hour and a voice
came ringing out, This speaker is
half through At the half hour the
clock blurted out, 1.-THE audience will
please not cor The gentleman
now gives way to another
1.-THE only fear / have continued
Mr.. Edison, lis that the young UNI
married folks may not relish it. You
are married? No. Well, | don't give
this out as q bride, but when you get
entangled in the preliminaries ON
to me and | will give you n that
you may present to the family into
which you aspire to be admitted. 1t
will be a fibber. Pm a little in doubt
about the popularity of the parlor
clock with the younger people"
Mr.. Edison has good reason to Q
A more tantalizing ornament to a
pair of ardent lovers than a matri-
monial parlor phonograph clock can
not be imagined. Fancy, for instance,
a Sunday evening in a cory parlor
with two hearts beating as one startled
by the voice from the mantel:-"Good
night, a fond good night. In another
hour it will be midnight" Then dole
fully at aquarter past and each C
sive quarter comes out its hoarse croak-
ings, until 1855, when it blurts out
@.ln five minutes it will be to-
morrow and every ten minutes Subse-
quently the air is filled with its maui
dins such as: "Ahl how still the
hour" mabel, / am watching thee,
ha, halp "Methinks / hear the
spirit of thy mamma upon the
stairs please don't heed me,
it is my misfortune that / must warn
you that the hour is half past twelve"
Did | hear you ask me to get that
hat?" Twill you kindly remember
me in your prayers9" Look out |
hear a footstep. Ha, ha! ] was only
fooling theeln s'Ill soon have to call
father to go to his Office
And so the clock jabbers ON most
exasperaJingly. OF ours the words
are set to suit the circumstances. If
the wooer be a favored person OF
course the language will be much diff
ent, the tone of the clock will be
sweet and simpering, and the words
coy and captivating.
The Dominie's Turkey.
A Mahomedan would not think
there was anything laughable in this
anecdote from the Vermont Journal,
he would imply say.ssIt was the
mans fate" A popular minister in
Fifeshire, in the good old times, used
about Christmas time to be Inundated
with hampers filled with good things.
On one occasion an enormous turkey
was SEM to him by the thoughtful
kindness of a neighboring farmer, but
as the minister's family had already
-.~1xsloI f@x. thn Ghnscf,,oc Jinnar
the bird was sent to the market and
sold. A passer-by, seeing this fine
| specimen of poultry, said:-"What a
splendid turkey! just the thing for
the minister's Christmas dinner!''
To the minister it was sent
again. The prudent wife sent it a
second time to the market and sold
it again for a handsome sum.
Another friend, struck with the mag
niicent proportions of the turkey,
purchased it and also sent it to the
minister. Not wishing to fly in the
face of Providence, the good man said
at last:-''It is clear the Lord means
us TO have this turkey and so they
ate it for their Christmas dinner.
A Lucky Barber.
All the Athenians know Dan Talia-
ferro, the colored barber, who did
business in this city and afterward
moved to Jacksonville, Fla, and mar
ried. Dan was a polite and respect
| full man, and has the good will of our
people, who will be glad to know that
he will soon ON in possession of a
handsome fortune estimated at about
500, 900 or Q
HE story ia a STRANGE one On Dams
removal to the land of flowers he met
q .colored girl OF Key West, and after