The morning call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1878-1895, 1890-09-01
= WHO Is THE CARVER2
The Jig a Roasted Turkey Danced

The Jig Roasted Turkey Danced at n
Chicago Dinner.
Here is something that occurred not long
ag o, says the Chicago Herald. 1t is mean TO
tell it, for the man did not die. His home
is in San Francisco. He had been in Chi
cago several weeks. and was in great de-
mand socially. While not exactly a Chaun-
cey Depew, he is considered great aequisi-
ton 10 a dinner party. He had been enter
tanned at clubs, at private houses. and. in
turn, had given several dinners at his own
hotel that established the fact that there was
nothing about the appointments of dinner
even to the smallest detail with which he
was not thoroughly familiar. The dinners
that he had given were served IN such
manner as TO leave no doubt that there was
power behind the throne, even if served
by the well-trained servants of Chicagu's
hnest motel a young married lady INN 10n
one OF the South Side avenues deeide't 70
g,ye Dime. - her husband 90. MIS- re In
from a short trip Covers were iad for
taelye, ana ihe hour iefya abus-
tn5dga time ior the husband u faaes
toilet alter the arrival ui tho t.-t-
The evening and the guests arrived.
In place of the husband came a telegram IF
his being delayed. Among the number pres
ent as an honored guest was the fayorite from
the golden climate" The hostess, in defer
ence to the distinguished guest, and silent
concentration that the dignity of her table
was preserved, invited him TO take the vacant
chair. The caM serenity of the notet
diners face seemed 70 quiyer for an
instant, but De aceeg, the eat. Things
Went on smoothly, 'HUs turkey Was
breu2ht from the kitchen realms. Another
quiver Se9t over the face of the inan doing
the horors, but lie still kspe calm, apparent
entity. Champagne and coryeTsgtion were
bubbling and sparkling, hnd 10 one paid
much attention 10 the carver lie cOni-
mtnced an onslaught in d suTg OF know
all-about-it manner After one or TWO
whacks with the carving knife there Was q
suspicion of moisture OIL what before had
been placid brow. AS the turkey made
one OF two unsuccessful attempts 10
Jump off the platter conversation anu
champagne lost their flavor and the Interest
of the guests was centered Ill the man VINO
was always able to detect at a glance
whether everything was as it should be or
not. As the turkey took another leap, this
time quite OFF the platter on to the cloth,
what before was suspicion OF moisture
became large beads OF perSplratlon. FL
nally the turkey was deprived OF enough
and the destroyer OF the turkeys
contour seated himself he had
been standing for some time-with an audi
bic sigh of relief. Just as lie had transferred
the moisture of his brow to his handker-
chief and his face had resumed little o1Hs
WOulcO OuO VI tHO iteeASo
that there seemed to be lack Of dark meat
on that turkey, aud several others dlseoyered
that they never ate anything but the dark
meat. Desperation and bravado now
took possession of San FraneIsco's e!e-
CANT representative and lie started
in on q search for dark meat. The JIG that
turkey danced would have done credit to
the Emerald Isle. Aud the way the crisp.
brown particles flew around was territy
ing. Everybody received some-the brown
particles. The walls had their share, and
even the toilets of the diners were decor
ated. The carver evidently knew that
somewhere about a turkey was dark meat.
He plunged here and he cut there, but no
dark meat put in an appearance. With
wave of the carving-knife he finally
declared that frst-class turkeys had no
dark meat-that it WAS only pieDe-
ian, everyday fowls that disgraced
themselves by sporting dark meat he-
straint was gone now, and, ms he Sea'eI
himself amid the laughter of the guests, he
must have registered vow To make the
acuuaintance of Il plebean fowl in the quiet
of some barnyard and ascertain the exact
locality of dark meat. After the guying
and remarks that were hurled at nm until
cafe noir was brought in, it was discovered
that out of the six or seven gentlemen at
the table, each posted in all the details that
constitute an elegant fellow" not one had
ever passed through the ordeal of carving.
1t is the firm belief with most OF them that
the young host manufactured the telegram
to avoid the carving, as he walked III before
coffee was finished.