Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1890-04-30
ADVICE TO SUICIDES.
To Follow Aunt Mehitabeps Very Sensible
Example.
From the Boston Transcript.


From the Boston Transcript
That, at least, was the explanation
that suggested itself to the listener as
he shivered through the streets this
morning. Somehow the raw chill
brought to his MUD the case of Aunt
Mehitabel Coffin, who not more than q
short generation ago lived in cold old
house down on the cold side of Cape
Cod, with a houseful of rather frigid
maiden ladies', her sisters and nieces.
Becoming q little unsettled in her mind
Aunt Mehitabel resolved that she would
battle no longer with an inclement
world. She announced to the family,
one particularly chilly morning, that she
had fully made up her mind to commit
suicide.
Laws sakes!" exclaimed her young
er sister Abigail, incredulously; "how
do you think you're going to kill your
self, Mehitapel?"
1.-The most nat'ral way round here"
said Aunt Mehitabel, with a shiver, lis
to freeze yourself to death. An that's
the way I'm going to do 1t"
The rest of the family laughed her to
scorn. But when she had made all her
preparations to go, and had even given
away her Paisley shawl and her str ing
of gold beads, their scepticlsm turned to
alarm. 1t began TO look as IT SEE were
actually in earnest. The next night the
thermometer went down almost to zero.
Aunt Mehitable told them all q wailing
good-by at about 8 O'Clock in the even
ing, and went up to the spare room,
which was, Of course, the coolest room
in the house. She put up the window,
sat on the sill, and hung her feet out in
to the icy north wIn&.
There was no man in the household,
and no woman strong enough Or brave
enough to compel Aunt Mehitabel to
pet back into the room. So the sisters
and nieces gathered about, shivering
in the intensified cold of the spare
room.
By-and-by the suicide began to show
signs of uneaslness In her perch at the
window.
"Wal," she said, 81 guess it's bout g
easy to freeze to death on the floor as
It's out here"
She crept back into the room, and
crouched down upon the hard floor,
moaning and complaining. BY this
time tAe other women of the household
had fed back into the passageway, and
stood waiting in the darkness.
beats all" they heard Aunt Mehit.
abel murmur presently, show hard this
ERE old floor is guess I'll set on the
rug"
She moved to the rug, and set up a
new series of worldweary lamenta-
tons; but after she had sat here for
some time, and had experienced hone
of the positive symptoms Of freezing to
death, she rose and sat down on the foot
of the bed.
''This damp old bed always was
'nough to freeze anybody, and | guess
it'll fetch me-" she exclaimed, "if any
thing will"
Presently, almost without her own
consciousness, she sank down upon the
bed, and then one of her nieces glided
into the room and softly covered her
with quilt.
ooh, dear oh, dear !" Aunt Mehita-
bel shrieked. Pm goin' to sleep, an
that's sure sign that I'm freezin' to
death. Yes, Pm goin', Good-by to a
cold, cruel good-by, good-by"
Aunt MehitabeI slept soundiy until
morning, and awoke in greatly i'm
proved mental condition. She did not
renew her attempt at suicide, and never
made any reference to it as long as she
lived.
To people who are born to commit
suicide, Aunt Mehitabel's method of
shutting off is, perhaps, to be recon-
mended