Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1890-12-18
UNDER FALSE COLORS.


proprietor of the Rootersville Palace of
Delight to n. Y. Herald man, that
quiet-looking fellow in the corner is
just the spunkiest fellow | ever clap
ped eyes on. though he don't look as
he had backbone enough to stand off
coyote. But, jee, whiz! he's a cool
one. Why, right here in this very
room I've seed him stare death in the
face an never turn hair. Yes. stree,
I've seed that man look right into the
barrel of Blazer Jim's pistol when
Blazer Jim's hand was on the trigger,
an he didn't say a word, didn't ask
Blazer Jim to let up on him nor moth
in, didn't even wink, but just stood
there facin' the music and ready to
drop in his tracks dead game"
Thanks. it's awful dry; don't care
if do. Well. here's luck"
Yes. I'll tell you all about it if you
like. You see, the professor that's,
what we allus called him from the
moment he first showed up, wasn't
posted on the ways of sassiety in these
here parts when he fust came here.
guess maybe they're kinder different
from what they are where he cum
from, round about Boston or some such
fossilized place.
well, you see, Blazer Jim had
struck it rich that day, an was settin'
'em up all round, when the professor
dropped in.
"Name yer pizen, stranger said
Blazer Jim, just as perlite as any Teller
with an imported parlay frongsay
polish-'scuse my French-could be;
it's all hands this time, an I'm dom
the treatin'.'
LAS said the before the professor
wasn't posted on sassiety ways in these
parts, an instead of steppin' up like a
man an orderin' his drinks, he held off,
kinder naughty, an says, he: 1 beg
your pardon, I~don't drink; I'm a
prohibitionist, an besides it's not
my habit to allow strangers to pay for
any refreshments | may partake Of
Now, accordin' to sassiety reg'la-
tions down here, that was Il downright
insult. an | didn't feel like blamin'
Blazer Jim, nor did anybody else,
when he whipped out his shooter an
told the professor right up an down
just what he thought Of him, an didn' t
spare the cuss words neither. But
when we seed how the professor, in
stead of plumpin' on his knees an
begin for mercy, just stood like a
statoo an said nothin', why, there came
about a reyulsion of feelin', an Candy
Jack voiced the sentiments of the
meetin' when he said:
'"Look'ee here, Bill; you've been in
suited and yer deserve satisfaction, but
I'm - if the professor amt game,
an | don't want to see game man die
like a doc. It's my opinion that he
only insu!ted you COS he was ignorant
of sassiety ways up here, an its my
opinion that if yer let up on him this
time you'll earn the gratitude of this
assembly,
We'll, Blazer Jim, like the gentle
man he is. did let up on him, and right
then an there told the professor that
he forgave him, and told him that he
was a brave fellow, an that he could
knock the spots out of any fellow who
said he wasn't, an other complimentary
things of that sort An after that we
found out that the professor wasn't a
bad sort of fellow at all-you made al
lOWance for his ways. An though [
don't believe that I'd ever do anything
of that sort, | sent to town and got
lot of sarsapariaia so he could drink
with the boys without hurtin' his
principles"
was Il new arrival in RootersviIa
myself, attracted thither by boom"
which proved more ephemeral even
than most booms, and ''busted" lots Of
people. But before that happened the
professor and became quite "chum-
my" He was mild-manner, be-
specialized, stopped -shou!dered in
dividual. chock full of "book-learning,"
but almost rs ignorant as child on
the ways of the world.
When we had got pretty we'll ac-
quainted | asked him about his ac-
count with Blazer Jim.
My friend" he said, I'm truthful
man and an honest man, and | like not
to be thought that which I am not But
| feel that | can make "a cOntidant OF
you. The reputation which | acquired
out of that incident has been a grievous
burden upon my conscience. The
truth is that when hat rude and pro-
fame man levelcd his pistol at me |
was SO completely paralyzed with fear
that [ was bereft of all power Of
speech or motion. / couldn't even
move a muscle. Often and often |
have felt that | ought to tell these men
the truth about the matter, but the
fact is | have lacked the courage to do
so. Now do you think l ought to tell
them?"
told him bluntly that if he did he
would deserve to be in an idiot asylum
for the rest Of his life.
He took my advice. and as long as he
was in RootersviIIe nobody ever
ventured to modest him.