The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-16
BRIGHT BITS

YOU don't seem to be getting along very
| well. sail The man in the operating chair.
NO, repllei the de hist; Il have struck a
sag. - NUHsey's Weekly.
PRooF OF HER LovE.-He-Do you really
love me. darling?
Shelves. really. To prove it I'll name my
DOG after you.-YdRkee b ale.
Mas. TEAKUN STRATE-I see that boiling the
HAIR IN solution OF tea will dIrksn it.
Teakum Scrate-So I've heard. my dear but
way.-A1teTicdG Grocer.
OVER ZEALous-De aler-What's the matter
doesn't the cl OK keep timer
Watchman-Yes, that's the trouble. it does
Keep time. 1t guards I so jellolsly that can
/ never mad it out.-Jeicsters' Reriep
THE HABIT NG-lArdently)-''Luc Rib
ooncounter, life would be worthless to me with
ont your love"
Dreamiiy My heart is yours, Harry. Where
will you ha e it sent!"-Chtca0o TttoHhe.
LAwYEa-Did you ever notice any signs of in
sanity IN the defendant?
Ni6nesS-Oniy on one occasion. A passenger
picked up dollar in a horse car one day and he
was the only man on board who said he hadn't
lost it.-EpOch.
CHARLEY LovELox (who sees chance to say
something really alphabetically, Miss S1uel-
cher, you wemiud me of a cOwonsr's juwy.
Miss Squecher-Yes? Why. pray?
Charley Lovelox-Why, you sit on body So
you know.-Life.
SHE WAS IMPATIENT. -"M-m-y id ear, 1
Ellove you! WV will you be" began Mr. N.
That will do replied the proud beauty. 81
Do not care to be wooed on the installment
plan. '-Hdrper's Bazaar.
THIS is where we cast our cannon" said the
polite attendant
How interestingly" said the sweet girl "Aud
where do you blow cur great guns? I've heard
yachting friend of mine speak of that so
often. "-Hdrpecs Bazaar.
A WATERFOWL On. " GENERAL sroREKEEpER,
being determined not to be caught by sudden
weather C angeS has rapidly revolving sign
IN IN ms window. upon one side of which is painted
'lce-cold soda water" while the other siIe
eads: skates for sale. Exchange.
CLOTHING SALEsMAN-well, how do you like
this p ttera?
Customer-Can't you give me something a
little quletery You see, frequently come home
after midnight, AMI it is matter of some i'm
portance to me not to wake up my wIfe.-De-
trot q ee Press.
THERE was an old tradition that under the
constitution of the United States the govern
ment was divided into three brarches-the judi
cial the executive, and the legislative Und-r
the present pract cal workings, thu three
branches are the judicial the executive, and
Tom Reed.-LI'e.
HUSBAND This gymnasium exercise is a good
thing for one, | can tell you WHY, spent an
hour and half on the rowing machine this
afternoon and didn't feel bit tired.
hAie NueAI IuOFHlnSD--I Wish you q shovel q
path through the snow out to the gate.
Husband-Do you want me to break my back,
Saranf Go and get some tramp to do it.-MltI-
Sey's Heetly
A WEIRD TALE
fellow who swa lowed drachm
or poison grew cold as . clachm,
And when somebody said
u don't believe he is daid"
The corpse quickly aouted i achm!"
And since then they say that his ghost
Each night walks around his bed phost
And it scareS all the folks,
Who arn't used to such iolks,
Clear out of their senses al nhost.
Chicago Herald.
MRS. LUMK1Ns returning home from the
mountains)-For goodness sake, Hezekiah,
where are all my dresses tha- lsf6 in the closet
in my room? And what is the big burnt spot on
the fro lawns
Lumkins-I-I'll tell you how it was, Maria
You wrote home that if wanted the key to the
bl lard room would find it in the dress p C Iet
Of your pOlonaiSe III the closet. | didn't know
poonaise from tennis racket, and couldn't
have found the pocket anyway. So took all
your dresses out on the lawn, built fire under
them. and fished the Key out of the ashes
Laurence AmerfclH.