The Irish standard., 1890-12-27


and five children residing at Hokah,
MINI. and two uncles, Patrick and j.
G, Clarity, at Austin, MINI. He was
also related to Lawrence Garrlty. Of
Minneapolis.
IRISH WIT OF THE FIRsT WATER.
An Amusing Religious Controversy IN q
Street Gar Between an lrishman
and a Minister.
a gentleman in whose word / have
the greatest confidence entertained me
few evenings ago with an account of a
controversy that took place in bis
presence lately in one Ut the city cars.
Many of the points made are excellent.
but fave nv doubts as to their origl.
nality; however. if they afford the read.
ers of the Herald either amusement or
instruction | shall feel sufficiently paid
for noting them.
AS was running home from nv of
Gee lately said my friend, gentleman
whom afterward knew to be an Irish
Catholic. came into the rather crowded
car where was and managed to secure
q seat directly opposite modest~look
ing man who wore necktle. The
understanding man, it seems, was very
humorous; for no sooner had the gent
leman taken his seat than he asked in u
rather loud voice. If he had heard the
news!' No sir, SAID the gentleman.
what IS it, has ANYTHING strange hap
pened?' Yes sir said the other, land
it is really frightful. The bottom has
fallen out of purgatory and all the Cath
olics have dropped into he'll Il am very
sorry. indeed said the Catholic, I pity
the poor Professionals underneath; they
must have ground to powder
The dispute was now fairly opened,
and the passengers became interested
as to what should coma next. You are
minister of the Gospel Amt vou?' said
the Catholic. Yes. sir, [ am at your
service; what can do to obIige your
II would like to know said the CAthO-
lie. why you have no affairs in YOUR
churchesf' I presume you are an Irish
man, said the minister, so I will answer
your questions after YOUR own fashion -
that 's by asking another. The cor
ruptions of Popery are. of course,
known; but why do you have such
costly pictures, OF why do your clergy
use such costly vest of gold and
silver?' DO YOU forget, said the Catho
lie. that the older the house the more
grand and precious are itstreasnres and
furniture? But my dear sir, would you
be good enough to tell me where your
church was before the ReformatiOn,' 1
answer you in YOUR own style again.
said the minister, where was your face
before it was washed7' If l had made
abat remark, said the other, it would
nave some meaning; but coming fIom
you it is fifteen hundred years behind
the times; for when the Catholic
Church after her work of converting
the nations of Europe, found that few
sores had been collecting On her face she
took little of the medicine that Christ
had left to her and purified her cOun-
tenance of all disease. Your friend
Dean Swift, has told the truth some
what palmer. by remarking that when
the Popec feared his garden, he threw
the weeds over the fence. Perhaps your
reverence can understand his meaning
The passengers by this time had be
come all attention; the conductor even
left the platform to listen to the debate.
and it was noticed that two old ladies
who had come to their getting off place. :
preferred longer ride in order to fol
low the drift of the controversy. Su far
the Catholic had the first question. The
minister thought it was now his time
and he led off with what he considered
pnzzler. Why don't you eat meat on
Friday said he; it is assgood OH that
as on other days; you must be fool to
think il is not Well said the other,
Il have no objection whatever to meat.
like it on Friday as we'll as on Thurs
day, and tell you what it 10. il / had
the making Of my own religion. too, as
you had would have put meat in it for
every day in the week. The audience
was delighted with the quickness Of the
answer; bat the minister put IN very
nice question Oh the same subject which
for second seemed to puzzle his oppo-
znsnt. Your answer said be, may
satisfy yourself and those who think as
you do; but you contradict your prin-
8cIples bv your actions. You drink
milk on Friday, the milk comes FROM.
ttlescow, and may You not as well eat'
the meat as drink the milk as they are:
both of the same distance ere you
ever q baby I saId the uatholis1 That.
u edsno anss ID tho other And