The Sunday morning news. [volume] (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1886-1891, 1890-02-02
THE ClAR Or PLUhBA6O
IA PLAY WITH SEVERAL INCIDENTS AND A
cLIAfAx.l
[BY THE CONDENSED PLRArE.l
pRAaA4Is pEasoSG:
HIS HONOR, THE ozAR
DENIAL, a faithful servitor accent on thei).
[BF THE CONFESSED PERArE.l
pRAaAT1s PERsosE:
SCENE

SCENE:
IAN inner chamber of the palace on the
island OF ack Leaf. The Gar, an eder.y
man with smo tn lace, $ busy inditing leader
fol- the sagra, the official organl.
The Czar-Denial. hast thou been abroad
DER nights of late?
Denial-Aye, aye, yer Hon-Sire with
low obcisance).
The Czar-On still hunts, DenialP
Denial-Aye, Sire.
The Czar-And how found'st thou those
worthy knayes. the people?
Denial-Of uneasy mien and threatening,
Sire. They do gather in knots about
the taverns and commune in low and
surly tones. I did hear one churlish
knave say yesternight that you, Sire,
did have water on the brain.
The Czar-Water ON the brain? Why.
Denial, what meant the knavel
Denial-Marry, I will tell you, Sire, do
you but give me time. As / did hear the
remark. Il drew MY cloak about my face,
and my form nearer. He that spake
was one of these brazen-faced dolts of
the Citizens Committee that did wait
upon thee some DAYS go and to whom
thou didst show the bottles filed with
strange, crawling creatures that thou
hast upon thy throne. He didst say,
Sire, that thou recommends them to
drink the patent water that the chief of
thy secret service, Lord Appollinaris,
doth make.
The Czar-ZOunds! Deniall I'll food their
town with water and make them pay
the interest on the bonds. Thus will |
treat the knAves. Saidst they aught
about the pavements. Denial?
Denial-Aye. Sire. One reet-nosed citizen
did say that his daughter was lost for
seven days in the mud that doth dec
crate the Via Montgomerius. She had
but just been discovered by the soul
lions of Sir Harry O'Byrnius. And an
other did make remark there was too
much brass in the Stag of the pavement
bill, thy lord, Earl Edward Odo CANA
did introduce into the Assembly OF the
Lords and Gentlemen last week.
The Czar-Oh. Denial Uneasy lies the
head that wears crown. Never wear
one, my son, unless il fits If thy head
doth not lie easy. Denial, let thy tongue
do it for thee. But how do my Lords
of the Exchequer?
Denial-Sire. l fear not well. They do
writhe and rebel against this new edict
that takes from them the empty honor
OF signing Thy Majesty's drafts upon
the treasury. They do say thou hast
grown bold Sire, and that thy raids do
less and less take upon them the form
of law. But thy Secret Head of the
Exchequer hath them we'll in hand. He
doth but crack his knout and they do
his bidding.
The Gar rubbing his hands and chuck
ling)-Aye, that's it, Denial. A club,
Denial, u club! club! A club DER my
kingdomi (His demeanor suddenly
changes. A pailor comes DER his
smooth face and he speaks anxiously. J
Hast thou heard aught of one that is
stuffed for me. my SOM
Denial-(Speaking slowly and shaking
his head)-Aye, Sire, that have /. On
one of my still hunts some nights ago |
did see those TWO cursed heads OF the
revolutionary press, the EI-MetTopolt-
tan, Of Manhattan. and the Mysterious
He, of the Sunday Identify Their
long locks We're mingled, so close did
their heads lie together They did
seem to have second sight He OF the
Sunday Identity did smoke a long,
strange object. aid into the wreaths OF
vapor both gazed with a great intent.
That they saw something OF the past
am sure, Sire, for (He stops)
The Czar-Odds. life. man. Do not stop
Out with It'll Spoke they of me? Speak
Speak,
Denial-Press me not, my gracious lord.
Let me hence to Cooperio's, my nerve
is shaken.
The Czar-Zounds, varletl Do me bid.
ding or I'll discharge my other secre
tary and make tnee work.
Decentralization, oh pardon, my gracious
lord. He Of Sunday did puff forth q
great cloud and thus did they speak,
Always the same, as a chilu did he
possess a smooth face, tongue that
put to shame the slippery product OF
the olive, two hands that We're strang.
ers to each others acts. two feet that
walked in paths unknown one TO the
other" And as they did cOnjure, a
form grew in the cloud wondrous like
unto thee, and as II grew they die
speakoof darker Things till did scream
and fly from fear. Denial falls sob
hing and the Gar reyives him with q
bottle filed with lizards).
The Car pacing the chamber and NUT
tering to hiulself)--Alas Alack u day
Methinks l, too, do see cloud. Can i
be farewell, a long farewell to all my
greatness? IT'S but scant year conn
the Ides of March that my lean heir ap
parent, the CZnroyitch, did toss Lis car
high in the air upon the public stree
aud shout:-"W What's de matter wild me
My Fadder is Kingis Then all was ioy
Now do hear the rumDling and NUT
tering of discomfort. Why should ther,
be discomfort? Have not all my good vas
sails been cared for by the publics There
Bensonius, the former High Priest
Is he not now the second in the secre
services Then there's PhGneysium
LORD ApOlllnariS, uotn not his SyphOn
sizzle In all the .tayerns of my realm
And Patricius. Chief of the Plug Hats
After he had taken all the best Office.
in my kingdom, did / not give him al
that was left? And Earl Odo CANA
and the tribe of the Neyena, Lorenzn
who taxed the rebellious cohorts ia til,
Fourth District till they did cry TO
mercy, In fact all my friends have fay
ored by my bounty Buta man as gge4
as did once ren1ark, Save me iron
my friends. When trouble comes /,
me will it be bronght by my friends 0
by mine enemiess VINO can tell
! gThe Car and Denial embracp and weel
and the curtain falls GU the tabieau.j