Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1890-01-03

Df KATE THORN.
lew York Weekly.

There Is always something eomical about
man $ attempt to do woman's work.
And the fun of the thing is, that man
never realizes that he cannot do it properly.
There ism t a man on the footstool who does
not privately entertain the opinion that if
he should only set himself about it, he
could do anything better than any woman.
But he can't and all the women know
1T.
He means well. no doubt. but somehow
he dosen t seem to have the faculty.
His wife goes on visit to her mother,
and he keeps house. Now, he will tell
Brown that he can cook meal as well as
the best woman that ever lived; but if he
should see Brown and some of the boys
coming up to his house to dinner. he would
bolt the door and lie low till they went
away.
He never can touch kettle without
getting soiled. He can't handle the fire.
irons without burning his fingers. Ee
never thinks to hang up any towles; he
keeps them on the floor where they will be
handy. A man cannot do two things at
time. A woman will broil steak. and
see that the coffee does not boil ever. and
watch the cat that she does not steal the
remnant of meat on the kitchen table, and
dress the youngest boy, and set the table,
and see to the toast, and stir the oatmeal,
and give orders to the butcher, and witness
the neighbor across the street who is
hanging out her clothes-and she can
do 1t all at..once and not half try.
Is there a man living who can hold if
teen pins in his mouth, and fit a dress
waist, and talk over the scandal about the
new minister at the same time? Ofcourse
there is not, and yet woman can do it
easily, and enjoy it, too.
A man will work diligently half the fore
noon to find shirt button, and when he
has found it, it will be three sizes too large
for the button-hole, and then he will be-
gin to thread his needle. And he will
squlnt. and take aim, and sweat, and swear.
and the thread will slip right by the needle
every time, and if he ever gets the needle
threaded it will be such a big needle that
1t will split the button clean in two, and he
will lind himself exactly where he started
from.
Man has done wonders since he came be-
fore the public. He has navigated the
ocean, he has penetrated the mysteries of
the starry heavens. he has harnessed the
lightning and made it pull street cars, and
light the great cities Of the world. Oh.
yes, we are willing to admit that man has
done his part, but ne couldn't pour castor
oil into colicky baby without splitting it
all over the baby's clothes, to save his
life
He can't find spool of red thread in his
wife's sewing-machine drawers he
can't; and after he searches half an hour.
and manfully keeps his temper meanwhile.
he will appear with spool of blue silk,
and vow that such thing as red thread
has no existence in that house
A man cannot hang out clothes and get
them on the line the right end up. He
cannot hold clothes pins in his mouth
while he is doing it, either.
He cannot be polite to anyone he hates.
He would never think of kissing his rival
when he met him, as a woman will kiss
her rival. He can't chew gum. He can't
sit in rocking-chair without banging
the rockers into the base boards. He can t
put the tidy on the sofa pillow right side
out. He can t wear No. 3 shoes on No. 5
feet He'd die with corsets on! He
get his death of cold with bare arms and
neck!
And yet people who do not know, call
women the weaker sex