The morning call., 1890-11-16

commissions. One of these colored preachers
in Southern town was celebrated for his
quotations of Scripture and the fervent
manner in which he delivered his dis
course. On one occasion while preach
ing he said: "Bredien and sisters, you
remember the account Of Paul when he
was preaching to great congregation the
house was so crowded that one poor woman
fell from the upper gallery distance of 40
feet on the hard floor and was broken into a
hundred pieces" He stopped moment to
think of some text that would apply TO this
sad accident when lie exclaimed: And
they took up of the fragments that remained
twelve baskets fuliH The effect of this
quotation seemed so striking that he tried to
cap it with another appropriate one from
Holy Writ. and he edited his congregation
by making it in these words: And whose
wife shall she be in the resurrection p
LOTS WIFE.
A clergyman was called on to go down to
a country village a few miles away and
preach a sermon. He did SO, and took Tor
his text, Remember Lots Wife" Two
years afterward he was called again, the
minister being absent, to come down and
preach sermon. He put his hand in the
barrel and drew out the first one that came
handy, ana put it in his pocket and
went down to preach it. As singular
coincidence it proved to be the same sermon
that he preached before: When he rose
and read the text. Remember Lots
Wife," a man in the congregation called
were here before"
A sensational preacher died some years
ago. Often in the excitement of his preach
ing he would work himself up to such a de-
gree that he would occasionally shed tears.
which had great effect ON his congregation.
After his death his sermons were exam
lned by his executors, and it was frequently
found in some of his most exciting sermons
that lie had incloSed in brackets the words
"Cry here"
A TEMPERANCE SERMON.
A drunken man in Washington was en-
deavoring to find his way home late at
night, but often stumbled and fell. At last
he ran against fence, and holding on to it
said, "Begorra, that's good thing can
manage now have got the fence to hold on
by. He continued his walk, holding on to
the fence, until he had got into great per-
spiration and the exercise had sobered him.
He then found he had been about sixty
times around the big monument.
A halter in Bethel about fifty years ago
had dozen workmen in his employ. One
day, on going into the village store, where
several of his neighbors were, he said ::
"The hating business has been dull for five
years. ] have lost % cents on every hat L
have made during that time"
''Why don't you quit the buSinessp" he
was asked.
''How the devil am going to support my
family if don't do something's"
NOT ALL CHESTNUTS.
man setting out on his travels in
America left his trunk or portmanteau on
the sidewalk waiting for the expressman
to take it to the railway station. His name
was marked on card, which was nailed to
the lid of the trunk. 1t had formed one of
pack of playing-cards and was the six OF
spades. A passerby remarked, That
trunk is in very dangerous position
"HOw so" questioned friend. Be-
cause some chap might come along with a
seven-spot of spades and take it.
A lazy fellow working on farm seemed
to be carelessly looking about for something.
A fellow laborer asked him what he was
looking for. He replied: l am looking for
my hoe, and by gosh | am afraid l shall find
it, for if do / shall have to go to work.
A Bridgeport (Conn.) man sent fine dog
by the freight train to friend in the coun-
try at a small Town West. On the way the
dog ate the label which was attached TO his
neck.
The CONSERVATION of the freight-handler
equaled that of my friend, Ammi Jones,
who was very forgetfUl and who always put
his name in his hat Taking up hat SINH
lar to his own one day no name was visible,
when he exclaimed: Am Jones or am l
not? If not, who the deuce am ?"
An Indifferent singer engaged in singing at
a concert had not finished the first verse of
his Sung before he was violently Missed by
the audience. Hiss away" he quietly re-
marked, :" / am used TO it"