The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1890-07-10
PITH AND POINT.
A standing invitation-Get up.

MOI play OF Words-Ihe panto-
mime.
A hand organ-The glovers' news
paper.
Sets the ball rolling-The batsman
when he hits grounder.
Scan you break ten for me?" "No,
I'm broke myself. Boston Courier.
Life is far from extinct in the man
who appears to be dead in earnest
Detroit Free Press.
A fruiterer can hardly be called a
time.serving fellow when he is out of
dates. Yonkers Gazette.
"Johnny, how many seasons are
there2" "Three: pepper, salt and de
baseball season. ."-Epoch.
"Beckley and his wife get along nicely
now" "So7 Which one is dead, be or
she"-Boston Transcript.
A man was arrested for taking medi.
cine the other day. He took It when
the apothecary was not looking. .-Boston
Bulletin.
ooh, every dog has its day" Prob
ably that is the reason why so much of
our time goes to the dogs.-Iimes-
Democrat.
Awkward Miss with an umbrella
"Beg pardon!" Polite Gentleman
"Don't mention it. I have another eye
left. ."-NeU York Weekly.
aWhat was the trouble between you
: and your beau, Mamie2" Oh, he was
altogether too cold" "Isee. And you
fired him. .n-BostoS Courier.
Restaurant Guest-s'Everything you
have brought me is stone cold" Polite
Waiter->"Here is the mustard and pep
pep, sab. ."-New York Weekly.
Queer thing, confidence. AS long as
another man has your confidence you
keep it, but the minute you withdraw it
you lose it.-Ierrs Haute ErpresS.
"There's nothing half so sweet in life
As loves young dream"
So sings the maid whose lover treats
Her to ice cream.
Boston Courier.
First Man (excitedly)-"Our restau-
rant is on fire." Second Man Calmly
-;'Come, then, hurry up, and perhaps
at last we may be able to get something
hot"
Mr.. Smith Ito neighbor's son who is
dining with him)-"Well, sonny, what
part of the chicken would you like"
Boy-"The whole of it."--Detroit FREQ
Press.
Tangle-"What pretty little car
riage Miss Tiff has!" Mrs. Tangle-
eyes, that must be the carte blanche she
told Inc her papa had given her."-Aun-
sey's Weekly.
A fast young fellow, about to marry;
speaking of his intended, said to a friend
of his: "In short, she has everything in
her favor-fortune, wealth and money"
Times Democrat.
If, in the heat of family quarrel, the
angry wife makes move to pick up
fatiron, by no means is this to betaken
as implying a willingness to smooth
things over.-Detroit Free Press.
General Tscheng- Tongs recently
married young French woman residing
in the.south of France. She will be able
to use the downtown end of her name to
curl her hair with.-Ne,o York Herald.
Steersman during exciting yacht race)
MAN overheard! Shall we stop or
let him drown9" Captain (promptly)-
1--WE must stop and pick him up. It's
against the rules to drop any ballast dur
ing a race"
81 want to know when you're a-goIn'
to pay this here bill. cant be a-run,
min here every day in the week. "
"Which day would suit you bcstf" "Sat-
urday." "Well, then, you may come
every Saturday. ."-Judgs.
Indignant Landlord Ito tenant of
faD-"I thought you said that all your
children were grown up, and here
you've got three noisy babies in the
! house2n Tenant--"Yes. These are
my grandchildren. ."-Nunseys Weekly.
Dentists Daughter (who hears her
father approachlng,-"Oh, dear Edward,
here comes my father. II he should lind
us together, we are lost. Oh, he is COM
inc You will have either to ask for my
hand or--let him pull out tooth Tor
you."-Half Holiday.
Senior Partner Ito head clerk)-"Youll
excuse me for mentioning it, but-er-
your face is hardly as tidy as I should
like to sec it." Head Clerk-''I'm letting
my whiskers grow, sir" Senior Partner
$50 I sec; but can'tpcrmit employees
to grow their whiskers in business hours.
They must do that in their own leisure
time !"-Pick Ne Up.