Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1890-04-16


too, anything I ever seed," the old Squire
declared. ''Spozsn you fling up chip we
/ or drsP"
Don't believe like that idea, fur it onls
shows luck without 'sperioritY," Mark an
swered ''HoH is yo' pulse beatin' on tbat
pint, Job2"
"Beatin' low down in the shade, fur
don't like the idee.''
"Wall." said the old man, ''let's go in
the house aud sit down; might as we'll be
restin' while we're thinkin' up So thin
else. Helioa! yander comes Parson Briddle
Light, parson, and examine your saddle. "
be added, as the parson drew up at the
gate.
The. parson dismouoted, and, with the
old man, followed the lovers into the
house.
"Is it possible, 'said the preacher, in res
pnnse to a declaration made by the old
Squire, 'that you cannot, even by the most
persuasive appeal to sentiment settle this
extremely eccentric courtshipP"
Cant do it, one way nor tuther," the
old man rejoined. and then quickly turning
to the girl, he added: "Judy I've got an
idee."
"What is it. pap2"
"Well, It's this: Parsnn Briddle here
3
you We been way down in Robinson coun
ty, haven't you, parson?"
"Yes," tbe parson answered proudly.
sThar, now, 'contiEued the old man, she
has even been way down in Robinson
county, and is from the fsck that he has
seed good deal of the world fair jedge
of man; SO now, Judy, an you willin' to
leave it to the palson and take the one he
picks outP''
eyes, Tn. willin'." the girl answered
"I'm willin', to-" Mark quickly spoke
up, 'but want to tell the parscn right row
eff be decides agn me I'll whup him till the
folks eiii think he's been chswed up and
pp;t oct by a ihreshn' machine"
aud as for me-" said Job, "1'm mon
delighted with the idee, but jest let me say
that eff he decides agin me I'll wallup him
till you'd have to get him together with 9
bay rake ~
shall render no decision. am very well
satisfied with my position in life; my Cir
cult is comparatively smooth, and have a
pretty good horse; my salary is tagging, but
the sisters have given me ninety eight lin.
sey shirts and calico kandkerchiefs enough
to cover the rock of ages; so, taking it al
into consideration, do not care to be food
for dyspeptic threshing machine Or to clog
the teeth of hav rake"
"On, Lawd,' sighed the old man, 'the
end amt no nearer in sight than it was al
fust. Judy, fetch out the Jug" he added
as the preacher said something in an un
derstone. "Now, boys" he continued
when the jug had been brought, ''he'p 20
| selves"
The boys. being mighty partial towart
| liquor, began TO help themselves. The ole
man took a few pulls and the parson damp
ened his pucker, but the boys drank reck
lessly, and after while they were gener
oaSiy intoxicated.
"Job," said Mark, "I'm the best frieud
you ever had. You may have judy"
"Mark," Job responded, "you amt nj
you take her,
"Won't do it; you've got to take her.
''No, you've got to-"
cide," the old man delightfully."- exclaimed
"That's what we can," said Mark. Par
son, you pick out one of us to be the bus
band of Judy, here, aud want to say righ
here that Jobs my friend, aud that if yor
decide agiu' him I'll larrup you till you'd
run through a sif err
| sParson Pm in favor of your Masking &
decls. on" JOB declared, land am willin
to leave it to your Judgement; but let mt
tell you right now. Parson, if you decide
aen' Mark. I'll whale you till all that i.
left Of you would oozs through tow
sack"
| "Gentemeu, said the preacher sas
| just now remarked, l am not at all dis
pleased with my circuit. l am attached
TO my ninety eight linsey shirts, and have
become smitten With my calico handker
cbiefs | shall make no decision"
"Mark and job began to stretch them
selves on the floor. "Let them Sleep" sale
toe old man. "Ho, me-" he sighed, 81 dom
see no way outen this trouble"
II do" the preacher answered, ''step out
doors with me-"
| When they returned the cid man said
sJudy, decision has been made. YOr
must marry tne preacher. Hold on, now
don't fly off. He'd do better by you thar
either one of the boys. Why. jest think
he's got calico bandkerchiefs enough t.
make more bed quilts than you could stuff
inso hired mans appetite, and every wo
man in the community would be-"
| sPetrified with envy" the parsOn sug
gested.
An expression of delighted resignation
shone on the girls face.
81 will make out the license and do tn.
marryin' myself" said the old man. "Oh
don't be skesred now; I'll fix the boys al
right"
Mark awoke, and getting up, aroused
Job. esquire, "said Mark, eve got littl'
too much of your Ticker. Where did yor
get t7'
sThat preacher that was here sent it Il
me the other day."
"Wall, he knows what strong Ticker is
don't be, Job?"
"That's what he do, Mark" Job added
81 don't know how we air goin' to fix VI
this love bnsiness."
"Neither do 1. Where's Judy2'
s'It's well you may ask whar she is wher
you driv' her off that way" answered the
old man.
| "Who driv her off?'' Job exclaimed.
| "Why, you an Mark thar, wnen I beg
ged you not to drink so much, but didn'
pay no attention to me. You swore-bott
of you-that eff didn't stand up here anc
marry Judy to the preacher you'd kill all O
US, and just had to do it, aud then yor
driV' the bride and groom away, and YOU
ought to be ashamed ofyo'selves."
| mark and Job remained silent, sitting
over the fire for an hour at least, and theI
Mark, looking up. said:
sob, don't believe there's but one big
ger fool than I am
"Who's that, Mark?"
| "Both of us together"
You air right, Mark. Spnzen we saun'
ter on down yander an fall often the bluff u
Courier Journal.
The Best Thing He Ever Saw.
| The following is an extract from a letter
written by Mr.. D. A. Reynolds, editor and
proprietor of the "Hsrald," LYONS, Mich,
under date of January 11th, 1890: "You
will observe that have given your advor.
tisement position GA the first page of the
Herald, while other proprietary medicines
have had to take the run Of the paper. The
reason for doing this is, that upon receiving
your ''copy" anumber of the cures effected
seemed similar to that of which my little
son was suffering, case of blood poison,
| or irritable sore breaking out all over his
body. To-day he is entirely free from dis
ease, and ore bottle of Swift's Specific 6.
4 -sl., 81.