Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1890-01-15
BEAUTIES OF A ELA-.
ur. aud Mrs. BoEGs Got Thcir Livcr
Supply Under Difficulties.

invented" said the landlord, as he
showed MIR. and Mrs Boggs through the
rooms. You observe the system OF
electric bells and speaking-tubes in the
vestibule. Well, for instance, your
visitor calls and touches the bell. You
speak through the tube, find out who il
is, touch this button, tho street door
flies open and your visitor comes right
to your apartments. No trouble, nc
nothing. Every thing moves like clock
work-just as easy and perfect as any
thing you ever saw. And here is the
dumb-waiter. Observe how nicely this
works. The shopman calls, goes into
the cellar and sends your meat, gro
ceries, bread or what-not right to your
fat No trouble anywhere. toll YOU,
you will find it like paradise to live in a
fiat"
Then Mr.. and Mrs. Boggs moved into
the fourth fiat and were much delighted
with the prospect.
"Oh there's the bell," said Mrs.
Boggs gleefully, the first time it rang
after they had taken possession of their
new home. "Do let me answer it; it
will be such fun to speak through the
| tube"
But it wasn't as funny as she thought
1t would be.
"The Jones don't live in this flat, :"
she called. "This is Mr.. Boggs' fat
No, don't know where Jones lives.
Read the name plates and you can see
which is his fiat. No, can't open the
door for you. You see, l don't know
who you are"
'The idea of that fellow ringing our
bell when he wanted JONES'" said Mrs.
Boggs as she came away from tho tube,
very red in the face from her exhausting
conversation through the tube.
She had got comfortably seated when
the bell rang again. Again she went to
the tube.
"What is it?' she called.
'It's the wash-lady with Mrs. Smiths
Clothes"
Mrs. Smith doesn't live in this fat"
screamed Mrs. Boggs, with her lips in
the tube.
do you know what fiat she lives imp"
mo. We are strangers here"
'If you open the door can find Mrs
Smiths fiat"
"Read the municipalities and ring her
bell, suggested Mrs. Boggs.
81 can't read"
After five minutes conversation, Mrs.
Boggs finally said:
I'm very sorry, but, really, do not
think l ought to open the door. You
see, do not know you and might be
doing wrong. Good night"
Mrs Boggs sunk into chair with just
strength enough left to exclaim: "Did
you ever!7
AS she sat there painting for breath
there was a long, loud whistle from the
tube in the cellar.
For PHYS sake, Mr.. Boggs, will you
answer that whistle? That 'wash-lady'
has completely unstrung my nerves."
So Mr.. Boggs took a turn at the cell
lar tube.
Hello, what do you want down
there?"
I'm the boy from the butchers and
I've got the liver.'
"Well, | don't care If you have the !
liver and the lights, both. Why don't
you send it up?"
81 can't"
'Why can't you?"
''The dummy won't work"
81 guess its you that won't work" and !
Mr.. Boggs jerked open the dumb-waiter
door, grabbed the rope with both hands
and gave it fearful jerk. 1t didn't
move. Then he gave it long steady ,
tug. Still it didn't bulge.
"Confound you, down there. What
are you doing to this dumb-waiter?"
"Ain't doin' nothin' to it," piped the
boy.
We'll, do something to it. Take an
axe, take any thing; smash the con-
founded thing loose some way or other"
But the waiter wouldn't work, and
nfter fifteen minutes of wild exaspera-
ton Mr.. Boggs commanded the boy to
carry the liver upstairs, as they wanted
it for breakfast.
After waiting what seemed to Mr..
Boggs week for the boy to announce
mis- arrival at the front door by touching
lhe bell, he said to Mrs. Boggs, who was
watching the proceedings with Wild
eyed interests "Confound that boy, I
wonder If he has run off with the liver?"
Just hear that internal imbecile,"
ne exclaimed, as he sprang to the tube
md yelled through it at the top of his
1oice.
The boy called back that it was dark
n the vestibule and he couldn't see the
lames.
"My name is Boggs," shouted that
sentleman.
"Well, my dear" said Mrs. Boggs,
luietly, what difference does it make
whether your name is Boggs, or Scroggs
'r Joggs, so long as the boy can't see to
cad itP What you want to do is to open
he door and let him in with the liv-
r."
"open the door yourself, Mrs. Boggs,
you know SO much about it," ex-
laimed Boggs in much heat as he fled ,,
rom tho tube. "Open the door your
elf, say, and let that gibbering idiot
ONE up here with that liver at his peril.
md as for the landlord, who had SO
luch to say about this beautiful system i;