davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Durham recorder. [volume] (Durham, N.C.) 1879-19??, 1890-07-23
Does IL Pay to BE Funny?
Bill Nxa in Nen York Journal.

Seriously, it does pay to be funny
lift be spontaneous. bunny business
which ilspues COMMUNICATION Is not
valuable.
Tue growing demand-not only in
Amerlc4, but slsewhere-for Amer.-
can huuur, is good sign. A little
we'll chosen numOr Is inc saitpelre
.or many ana Otherwise dull puOlica.
ton, and the humorous Lecturer has
lifted out Of the hole many local
bureau that had d pped a little too
deeply into science.
America wants more and better
humor eacn year. Her people are so
uu.y that a gentle, moral laugh Is alb.
solutsly necessary. Beside, humor
does much 10 q gooi>natured way to
make folly appear.fooilsn, aud polish
off the wicked fraud VINO II .urishes
only while be can remaindlgnihed.
Therefore, it pays 90 he funny.
l need { quote prises 10 Prove
this or compare the relative quotations
on poems and Jokes to show tina
Laugh and your pOcket-bOok Iaus lbs
with you" is good enough to 90 into
q copy-book.
The only sorrowful feature coDnec-
ted with this growing demand for fun
| is that il has stimulated the fungus
growth Of q kind of humor winch
would wiring tears from u doOr-knob.
Nothing can be sadder than the
tailorsmade Jokes turned out By the
man who argues that, as he has writ,
ten successfully on the diseases Of
horses, he can also, by turning his
attention that way, write jokes or
household receipts or chess problems,
or work the press or wash the rollers,
with equal Aueucy.
Let every man, 30 nearly as he il
able, use TO advantage the ialanl
that God has gwen him, instead Of
trying for q whole lifetime to cons
vince the Creator that he was intend.
ed for q poet, when it Las been well
understood 81 Headquarters ever sin.
&c the morning stars sang together
that he was designed for q veterinar.
i ian.
The Durham recorder. [volume] (Durham, N.C.) 1879-19??, 1890-07-23
THE DRoUTH.
| In the SOuthside Counties Low
Water, etc.

In the southside Counties Low
Water, etc.
PETERsBuRa, Va, July 2l.-In
many OF the counties VI Southside
Virginia there has not been rain
serylceable 20 the crops tor more
than Two months and in some sections
much longer. In consequence or the
protracted nrouth corn and tobacco
are burning up under the sCorchiug
rays of the sun aid peanut vines are
sharing q like fate. A prominent
faamer Of Prince George county, who
resides only u short distance from
Penersburg, says that unless there
are early rains not more than one
fourth will be made. The creeks,
branches and marshes are all drying
up, aud in some sections Of woodland
fires are destroying q good deal OF
yaluble Understands. While this un-
fortunate condstiou Of things exist in
some counties in other sections ofthe
country, there have been good and
serviceable rams, and the crops give
promise Of . bountlful yield. Espec
tally is this the case IN Greenyille
county, where the crops are said to
be looking more promising than
they have Tor years. Here in Peters
burg there has been little or no rain
for several weeks, and the water in
the storage reservoirs Of the city has
become 90 low that the Water Works
Com nittee have published q notice
IN the city papers calling upon water
consumers 70 be as economical as
possible with the water, aud to dis"
pense with the use Of the sprinklers
and garden hose. In some Of the
churches Yesterday feryent and
earnest prayer was offered for rain
to refresh the fast dying crops.
The Durham recorder. [volume] (Durham, N.C.) 1879-19??, 1890-07-23


IA man who clnnot keep his own
knife ten minutes, generally can
keep borrowed blade ten years.
The same over here, broth err.
The Richmond State says: Tobacco
continues to be one of Richmond's
main-stays, and it is naturally an
industry Of which Richmond is
proud" 1t is even so with us; the
elements which nature has stored
up in the surface coating Of the
earth in this the golden belt, pro-
duces the finest tobacco in the
world, and the shipments made to
other parts of the world has no
limits, and there is still fresh fields
and pastures new for those who de-
sire to cultivate the weed The
state further says: 1.-THE leaf trade
has not been as active nor in as
healthy conduit IN for many years
as it is to-day. The methods Of the
trade have changed. 1t may not be
quite as easy for our leaf men to
make money as it was many years
ago. But they are pushing ahead
in new directions. Many commits
sion merchants and spectators have
established direct trade relations
with foreign countries instead Of
trading through New York. This
is a valuable and important move
ment, and the Richmond market
will profit by it. But while the
leaf dealers snow increased activity,
the manufacturers seem rather too
conservative Richmond does not man
ufacture as much as she ought. The
largest manufacturing concern in
che world isat st. Louis, which is
not in a tobacco section. That fac.
tory puts up about IL, 900, 000pounds
a year, which is as much as the to-
tai annual product Of the Richmond
factories. Richmond ought TO put
up not less than l00, 900, OO0pounds
annually" We don't know so much
about st. Louis being the Largest
manufacturing concern in the
world" but we do know that w.
Duke Sons L Co, are the largest
cigarette manufacturers, and that
the Blackwell Tobacco Cooperative
Co, are the largest granulated to-
baceo manufacturers in world.
The Durham recorder. [volume] (Durham, N.C.) 1879-19??, 1890-07-23
Haywood White Sulphur
Springs.

Always a favorite with Eastern
people, now with A. ]. RUTJES as
Manager, all may look out for q
good season. This resort has great
err attitude than any other mountain
resort. The fare, OF course, with
Mr.. Rutjes at the head Of the tables,
will be splendid. Fine sulphur and
cool spring water; bracing, invigsra-
ting air, refreshing nights, electric
bells, moderate rates, &c., are some
Of the attractions. Ii you contem-
plate visiting the mountains this
season, by allmeans go to Haywood.
july-23.
The Durham recorder. [volume] (Durham, N.C.) 1879-19??, 1890-07-23
Excursion TO Ashe Vile!

The grandest excursion Of the seas
son will he run from Raleigh TO
Asheyillel Train will leave Raleigh
at 9 q. M, Monday, August 18th, and
arrive at Asheville at 5 p. IN. Leav.
ing Ashevills at 1 p. IN Wednesday,
August 18th, arriving at Raleigh al
IL p. m.
Fare for round trip from Durham,
$3.50. Special cars for ladies and
their escorts. Reduced rates will bG
secured at hotels and boarding houses
j, T. MALLORY.
The Durham recorder. [volume] (Durham, N.C.) 1879-19??, 1890-07-23
Governor Campbell Looks for
an Overwhelming Demo-
cratic Nictr0y Next Fall.

z
national Democrat
Governor James f.. Campbell, Of
OHIO, stopped at the Ebbltt for an
hour Monday evening, on his way
from Deer Park 10 NV Yvrk. To u
reporter he said: 'Oaio is all right.
She is going to stay right IN line. l
ell you, this fall is going to witness
the most sweeping democratic victory
ON record. iDe people are disgust.
ed with lhi, Republican Congress
and its high handed course. | dou't
say the Democrats acme are disgust.
I'd, but the people irrespective of
party. Our majority in the next
Congress will BE- from seventysfye to
one nundIei. Mark what / tell you,
aud r, mind me 81 it after election, il
1t isn't so. z~
LET the republicans pass the
force bill # ny want to, Every
such move ".it ailenate more voters
tnan th,, Ca. p ssibly win. So the
Republicans threaten to pass u reap.
pJrliohineLt bill This session 81 late
that TIE State Legislatures will be
unable ~ iedlstrlct the Stales? Let
hem. In that case States which
gain Co.gressmen could eject the
surplus Congressmen on general
ticket. Mh.ie there is no chang.
.here mighs te no difficulty, but
suppose state looses, what is to
lappeL? Are all the Coagressmen
20 be elected IN a general tickit?
Let me put you an extreme case.
suppose the reapportionment should
become q law OH the first OF Novem-
Der, and that ander il Ono should
lose a Congressman. 1t would be
TO, late 10 reapportion ths State or
60 make provision fof electlns gen
eral ticket. Is 0hiJ to Use her rep.
resen atiol? Not much. Her laws
provide the limits of her Congress-
Ional districts. Her laws are based
on the State Constitution, which il
in accord with the National Constis
tuition or it couldn't exist, And no
Congress can pass Laws " interfere
Silh her Just and equal repl esenla
lion or to set aside and nulliiy her
statutes. | squarely dispute The pow
er of Congress TO interfere with the
states control Of Congressional cleo
lions or the alignment Of Congress.
Ioaal districts"
The Durham recorder. [volume] (Durham, N.C.) 1879-19??, 1890-07-23

Topeka, KAN, July 2, 1889 Il
have been a sufferer from dyspepsia
for several years. have Used Mic ODE
Killer for two months and can ea'
anything l wish. Have gained ten
pounds My neighbors have been
using it with beneficial results. My
postofice address is Topeka, Kansas.
MRS. J. j. SURNGELEY.
For sale by X. BLACKNALL & Son
The Durham recorder. [volume] (Durham, N.C.) 1879-19??, 1890-07-23

English SPAWN Liniment removes
all Hard, Soft or Calloused Lumps
and Blemishes from horses, Blood
Spavins, Curbs, Splints, Sweeney,
Ring bone, Stiles, Sprains, all Swol.
len Threats, Coughs, Etc, Save $50
by use of one bottle. Warranted the
most wonderful Blemish Cure ever
known. Sold by N. NJ. johnson &
Cc., Druggist: Durham, N. c.,
The Durham recorder. [volume] (Durham, N.C.) 1879-19??, 1890-07-23
V~%VT~""~<
For Sale by w. M. Yearly.
"Hungryis the Best Sauce"

As a rule, a person who has q good
appesite has good health. But how
many there are who enjoy nothing
they eat, and sit down to meals only
as an unpleasant duty. Natures an
tidotes for this condition are so hap,
PLY combined in Hoods Sarsaparilla
it soon restores good digestion, creates
an appetite, and renovates and vital
ICES the blood so that the beneficial
effect Of good food is impaired to the
whole body. Truly hunger is the best
sauce, and Hoods Sarsaparilla In
duces hunger.
The Durham recorder. [volume] (Durham, N.C.) 1879-19??, 1890-07-23
Syrup Of Figs

Is Natures own true laxative. Itis
the most easily taken, and the most
effective remedy known to Cleanse
the System when Bilious or Costiye
to Dispel Headaches, Colds and Fe.
vers; to Cure Habitual Constipatio I,
Indigestion. Piles, etc. Manufactured
only by the California Fig Syrup
Company, San Francisco, Cal. For
sale by X. Blacknall s. Son.
mar 2Sly
The Durham recorder. [volume] (Durham, N.C.) 1879-19??, 1890-07-23
Rates Annual Meeting N. G
State Tobacco Association,
M0rehaad City. N. G.,

The Richmond & Danville r. R.
will sell parties attending Annua
Meeting N. c., State Tobacco A.
ISOLATION, Morehead City, N. Z,
tickets to tina. point and return a
following rates from points named
Tickets on sale August End to 4th
inclusive. Good returning until ono
iDclu ling August 10, 80.
Form Charlotte. $S.05; Sa isbury
$715; Greensboro, IS 35; Winston
Salem. $500; Durham, $500; Ok
ford, So 90;. Henderson, So 20; Raj.
eigh, $40; Selma, SO rs.
Rates from Intermediate points j.
same proportion.
The Durham recorder. [volume] (Durham, N.C.) 1879-19??, 1890-07-23
NOTICE.

Having qualified as Executors Of
w. A. Barbee. decd of Durham
county, N. G., this is TO notify all per.
sons having claims against the estate
OF said deceased to exhibit them to
the undersigned on or before the
14th day Of July 1891 or this notice
will be pied in bar Of their recovery.
ALI persons indebted to said estate
will please make immediate payment
JEo. w. NJ, G. E. & W. A. BARBRE.
July 1890 Ct Executors.
The Durham recorder. [volume] (Durham, N.C.) 1879-19??, 1890-07-23

Thousands have been relieved Of
indigestion and loss Of appetite by a
single bottle of Ayers Sarsaparilla.
The use OF this medicine, BY giving
tone and strength to the assimilative
organs, has made innumerable cures
Of chronic dyspepsir. Price 81.
Worth So a bottle.
The Durham recorder. [volume] (Durham, N.C.) 1879-19??, 1890-07-23
Mr. Joseph Cole Killed.

Mr. Joseph Cole formerly q mer-
chant Uf Durham but q citizen oil
Cedar Fork township was killed yes.
ierday by falling from q ladder while
trimming some trees In his grove.
lie fell upon his bead breaking bis
skull which caused his death 10 about
one holr. He was q highly esteem.
II ci.iz n and consistent member oil
the church. His remains were ems
TERED yesterday Of 0'Kelleys chapel
ID Chatham County.
The Durham recorder. [volume] (Durham, N.C.) 1879-19??, 1890-07-23
BUCKLEN'S ARNICA SALVE

TIE BEST SALvE In the world for Cuts
Bruises, Sores, Ulcers.Salt Rheum, Fever
Sores, letter, Chapped Hands, Chilblains
Corns and all Skin Eruptions, and positively
cures Piles, or no pay required. Il is guar
anteed to give perfect satisfaction, or money
refunded. Price rs cents per box.
For sale byR. Blsckpall & Co. Durham
NC
The Durham recorder. [volume] (Durham, N.C.) 1879-19??, 1890-07-23

The Washington correspondent Of
the New York Herald says that the
result Of the careful compilation
from sources the most favorable TO
the republican administration Of the
government is that at the end Of the
fiscal year the United States governs
ment will not have q dollar to its
credit.
The Durham recorder. [volume] (Durham, N.C.) 1879-19??, 1890-07-23
Mills VIII Try 10.
a. Uni. IlsnnhiIc.

Inc Republicans are indebted to
Mr.. Mckinley for their hold on the
sugar question, but they will feel far
more indebted 10 anyone who will
shnm Them how % let it 20.
The Durham recorder. [volume] (Durham, N.C.) 1879-19??, 1890-07-23
TI,c Islu Sale.

Don't frgl The big sale nf town
lets at RuxDoro, August ooh. These
lots are not sold by any land syndi-
cate but will be the original sale,
putiing oil who wish 70 invest In on
be ground noor.
The Durham recorder. [volume] (Durham, N.C.) 1879-19??, 1890-07-23

GU SPENCER, formerly proprietor
of the st. Joseph Evening News, saw
he has been greatly benefited by til
use of Microbe Killer, and is still Us
ing 1t. For sale by r. BLACKSALL &
Son.
The Durham recorder. [volume] (Durham, N.C.) 1879-19??, 1890-07-23
Locking Out for the Future.

The Princess Of Wales not onls
had her three daughters taught TO
ride in left and right saddle sea'F,
but also 10 make bread and butter
One hour day the princesses devote
TO housekeeping. Rumor has 1t that
they don white alter gowns, made
with bishops sleeves and girdled
with an old silver chain, 10 which the
KEYS of the house are attached.
The Durham recorder. [volume] (Durham, N.C.) 1879-19??, 1890-07-23
Ito, For AsbeyiIIe.

Now is the best chance Of your
life 10 20 on Mallory's excursion TO
Ashctills, August 18th. Round trip
from Raleigh, Durham and Hillsboro,
a3hn.
The Durham recorder. [volume] (Durham, N.C.) 1879-19??, 1890-07-23

The peculiar enervating effect of
summer weather IL driven Off by
Hoods Sarsaparilla, wa Oh makes
the weak strong"
The Durham recorder. [volume] (Durham, N.C.) 1879-19??, 1890-07-23
The west and the south.

Louisville cturicf-Journai.
The Wett is the naturally Of the
South. We have long been singing
,ysse's my sweetheart.
I'm her beau"
ami the old gal 10 pretty near ready
% come 10 our arms.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1890-12-16
COLONIAL NOTES.

The Victorian Government have de-
clined 70 contribute TO the expense of
fitting out an Antarctic expedition.
At the intercolonial conference of
builders and contractors, held at Sydney,
November 18th, it was decided to feder-
ate the various societies. 1t was agreed
10 adopt uniform conditions of contract
and the law OF lien.
Kemp and Mclean have made a
match for $500 side and the Champion
ship OF the world
The largest Illicit distillery ever I'M
earthed in the colonies was discovered
November 10Th ut Melbourne. IN a pro-
duce merchants premises in that CITY.
Three stills in full working and a large
quantity OF whiskey were seized.
In military circles it is rumored that
ar-AdmiTal Lord Scott would be not
unwilling TO remove the headquarters OF
the Australian squadron from sydney to
New Zealand, and further, that this de-
sire Is not altogether unconnected with
the recent dispute as to precedence OF
the admiral OF the feet.
An epidemic OF scarlatina has broken
ont in Brisbane, and the disease, which
Is OF very dangerous type, is spreading
rapidly.
Mr.. 7. Archer, Agent-General for
Queensland, has resigned, and Sir J. f.
Garriek, VINO formerly held the position,
has been appointed in his stead.
The Inter-colonial Eight-oared Race,
November S0th, was won by the Vic
torian crew. Queensland was second,
and New South Wales third. The
Queensland crew had the race well in
hand when, unfortunately, they broke
an oar when within 500 yards OF the
winning post, which resulted in throw
ing them back. The New South Wales
crew were nowhere
4 new licensing bill mas been intro
dueed into the New South Wales Legis-
latiye Assembly by Sir Henry Parkes
Ii provides for the granting OF licenses TO
pu6lieans for a period Of three years.
This Heightened duration of the license
will be regarded as sufficient compensa-
ton 70 the publican for any loss he may
suffer thereafter. The measure also sets
forth that a tEo-third majority Of house
holders can prevent the renewal OF a
license, and q simple majority can re-
duce the number OF licenses in aBy dis
trict by certain number. or determine
whether or not new licenses are to be
granted
The Hawaiian gazette., 1890-12-16
TIE AMERICAN MISSION At POEAPg

The statement that the American
missionaries on Ponape had origi-
mated and fostered the troubles be-
tween the Spaniards and the natives
cannot possibly be true. The only
American missionary on the island
WIS Miss Palmer. IN charge of a
school for girls. She Is not likely to
have fOnented any disturbance. A
native assistant, Nsnape, was active
IL saving the lives Of the two priests
and four soldiers whom be brought
into the schO0lhOuse. which the ma
uyes respected
But the Spaniards seem to have
had 10 gratitude for such kindly in
reference and have shelled and
burned the mission premises. News
from P0Dspe 30 friends here is TO the
effect that three Spanish men-of war
had arrived with two transports.
Five hundred troops were landed
Sept IL 4 colonel. : lieutenant and
thirty-One Spsniards we're killed
The natives were determined ID sell
their lives dearly No natives we're
killed.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1890-12-16
AUSTRALIAN MAIL SERVICE.

The zealantiia o. be Replaced by the
NIoaewai Owned hv the Union Com
pany.
1t is announced in the Sydney
Morning Herald of November 18th,
that the Union Steamship Compsny's
new steamer Monowai would be the
next vessel 10 leave Sydney for San
Francisco, via Auckland, Tuttuila
and Honolulu; and that the Zes-
landia, then on her way to Sydney,
would return to San Francisco, De-
cember 10th, via Honolulu only, the
Monowai to take up the regular run
ming in the service. The Monowai is
advertised TO leave Sydney Decem-
Der 24th.
The Herald further says: This is
s change brought about by the ter
mination of the contract with Messrs.
Spreckels. Both the Monowai and
the Mararoa are we'll suited for the
service. and would be popular boats
on the line should the Union Com
psny decide to permanently place
them in it Both steamers are beau
tifuIly fitted up in their passenger
accommodation, and ample cargo
SPACE
The Hawaiian gazette., 1890-12-16
NEWS FROM SAMOA.

Mr.. Wightman. one OF the purchasers
OF the wrecked vessels Trenton and Van
dalia, lost no time on his arrival in San
Francisco in making preparations Tor
thoroughly wrecking those vessels. lie
has already purchased part of the wreck
ing materials; the pontoons are being
built; ten or twelve experienced me-
ehanics are engaged, and vessel has
been chartered to take the men and
material to Samoa.
The arrival of the new Chief Justice is
being anxiously looked forward to.
The monument which was recently
erected over the graves OF the officers
and men of the German squadron who
lost their lives in the fight with the
Samoans at fagalii in December, 1888,
and in the hurricane OF March, 1889,
was unveiled by Captain Foss, OF the
Sperber. on November 18th, in the
presence OF Consul-General Stuebel and
a large number of German residents and
several officers and a number of the
crew OF the Sperber.
The Samoan Times says: Early last
week considerable excitement was
created in town by q report that Ha-
waiian was lying in house or the
eastern side OF the Vaisigago River in an
advanced stage OF Asiatic leprosy."
The same paper has the following
item: There is q rumor in town that
some OF our celestial friends are making
quite a lot OF money in traficing in
opium. This article is admitted into
Samoa at the ridiculously low rate of ,
per cent. al valorem duty. From here
large quantities are said to be forwarded
on to Honolulu and other places, and as
vessels arriving at other ports from Apia
are not as yet suspected OF smuggling
opium, the Customs authorities at those
ports may not be careful in making
search for the drug"
The Hawaiian gazette., 1890-12-16
LATEST FOREIGN NEWS.

A furious gale prevailed along the
North Eastern Coast OF the States, De-
cember I'd. Heavy snowstorms.
The German Government has taken
care of Prof koch's discovery for the
cure of consumption.
There is trouble in South Africa. Bril-
fish settlers preparing TO resist the Portu-
guese.
Seventy Norwegian fishing boats have
been wrecked off that coast.
Ex-Governor Pacheco of California
will be the new United States Minister to
Guatemala.
Pazhell offers to retire on certain con-
ditions.
A steamer is being built at Glasgow
which is to navigate Victoria Nyanza, in
Africa.
Eight thousand miners have struck at
Birmingham, Ala.
Or. Mary Walker is dying at her
farm in Oswego, Ny.
Booths Social Salvation fund amounts
to over 100000.
A verdict for 1915 and costs has been
given in London against Miss Golden
for pers;sting in sitting in the County
Council alter she had been judicially
declared incapable.
Mrs. 0'Shea is at Brighton with her
four daughters, and Parnell was with
her during the Parliamentary recess.
He returned TO Brighton after the trial
of the divorce case.
Queen Victoria is reported to have
taken offense at the presence OF a GER
tain American lady at recent levee
held by the Prince OF Wales as the rep
resentative of his mother. When she
took him to task for the lady's presence
he invited the lady and her husband to
dine with him, and the Queen has been
still further offended.