davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-09
An Accomplished Undertaker.

From the Washington Post.l
AS political undertaken r. g. Wood, the
Ohio ballot-box fOrger, seems to have outdis-
tanced all competition.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-09

This issue of THE DISPATCH contains
90 pages, made mp of THREE PARTS.
Failure on the part of Carriers, Agents,
Eewsdealers or NewsbOys TO supply pa
irons with a Complete Number should be
promptly reported to Ihmis oce.
The Washington critic., 1890-02-26
TIMELY INFORMATION.

Barnum's "Greatest on EARTH has fin
isbed lis English engagement and will i'm
medistely return to its native heath.
The favorite sequence among "policy'
players now is 72-6.l. This is known as
the Nellie Bly, gig, and represents the time
made by that young ladyi in her tour around
the world.
Colonel John G. New, our Consul General
in London, has Just purchased a magnil-
cent fur-lined overcoat, which is dupli-
cate of those worn b, the Prince of Wales
and he Russian Ambassador This gar
ment cost fifty guineas ($3l5), yet Colonel
New has the effrontery to declare that he
doesn't feel as much ut home in il as he did
in the coonskin coat he used to wear in the
Wabash country before he engaged in the
service of his native land.
The Philadelphia Lc,iger has been making
a little arithmetical calculation relative to
Senator Morgan's proposal that Congress
appropriate $1,000, 900 for the purpose of
deporting the colored people from the
United States 10 Africa. Not more than
100000 persons, according to the Ledger's
figures, could be carried away and sub
sisted for that sum IN a single year, and by
the close of the year the natural increase OF
the 5000, 600 negroes in this country would
be not far from to 100000
The Washington critic., 1890-02-26
.iBOTT SUBSIDIES.

Notwithstanding the progress in pO
litical science and methods which it is
claimed free nations have made, it is
curious to observe that in the freest of
them-the United States-practical
Government in instances is simply an
other name for organized injustice. 1t
is curious, too, to note that in the case
of these instances, instead Of their be-
ing recognized as unjust, they are often
advocated as beneficial by many other
wise intelligent and upright citizens.
Thus, in municipal government, an
unjust assessment of taxable property
is sometimes defended because. through
its inequality, what is called enterprise
and the spirit Of improvement, may re-
ceive n subsidy through lighter taxa
tion at the, expense of the great body of
X-payers.' Ia rational Government
private enterprises which, il is con
fessed by their treatment, could not
prosper unaided, are made profitable to
their proprietOrs by the imposition of a
'bA bh Nllb Eltht bphl VI NPhoAiiNiot .
and this injustice-this indirect rob
bery-is approved, and advocated as a
means Of protecting infant industries
that never come of age, by men by no
means lacking in knowledge, but want
ing in all the virtues, because without
justice or unselhshness. Through this
system weak industries are sustained
by forced subsidies from the people for
the benefit OF the few unfortunates who
have invested IN the unlucky enter
prises.
And now, the Republican party, or
ganized as the present Government of
the United States, proposes to make
the business Of sailing ships and steamers
TO foreign ports, which, in and of itself
would not pay remunerative to the
owners Of those ships, by giving them
subsidies drawn from the United States
Treasury; that is, from the pockets Of
the people.
This question of subsidies is some
times confounded with that of compen-
The Washington critic., 1890-02-26
ITEMS OF INTEREST.

What are supposed to be the first playing
peiian excavations and are now in the pos
session of collector in Philadelphia. The
cards are perfectly square.
A novei flower has been discovered at the
1sthmus of Tehuantepec. The floral cha
mcleon has the power of changing its colors
during the day. In the morning 1t is white,
when the sun is at its zenith it is red, and
at night II is blue. Only at noon does it
give out any perfume
The Philadelphia Ledger says that while
December 81 is, by sort of common CON
sent, reck oned the ''shortest day. in the
year that is, between sun-up and sun
down--it is not SO in strict fact, The 22d
is precisely the same in shortness, for while
sunset is one minute later on that day
sunrise is also a minute later, leaving things
even at the close.
The small letter 'i'' was formerly written
without the dot. The dot was introduced
in the fourteenth century to distinguish 81"
from ''e'' in basty and indistinct writing.
The letter ''i'' was originally used where
''j'' is now employed. The distinction be-
tween ''i'' and "j'' was introduced by the
Dutch printers at comparatively recent
date, and the ''i'' was dotted because the
81 from which it was derived, was written
with dot.
The latest and most unique invention is a
machine for buttering bread. 1t is used in
connection with the great patent bread
cutter, and is intended for use in prisons,
warehouses and other reformatory insttu-
tions. There is a cylindrical shaped brush,
which is fed with butter, and lays a thin
lav va m hrpa tl,a out
ter. The machine can be worked by hand,
steam or electricity, and has capacity of
cutting and buttering $50 loaves of bread
an hour. The saving of butter and bread
and the decrease in the quantity of crumbs
is said to be very large.
The Washington critic., 1890-02-26
TIE LNDLlNlpOLLs RLD.

Attorney General Michoncr's attempt
TO obscure the issue as regards himself
and other Indiana personal and political
friends of the President as bidders for
the seal fur monopoly, is piece OF in
genious special pleading He says
"It was thought to he neither criminal
nor unlawful for indianapolis business men
to make bid for the lease.n
That is the sum and substance Of his
defense. 1t utterly fails to cover the
case. Among these indianapolis bust
ness men there is not single Demo
crat. These indianapolis business men
are all. by singular chance, Rapubli
cans Most of them are, and for m1uy
years have been, the henchmen of Ben
iamin Harrison, President of the United
States. OF course they expected their
reward when he gained the summit of
his ambition. With true Hoosier mod
esty they have selected the richest of all
the monopolics Uncle Sam may grant.
The point raised by THE CRITIC is
this: That it is scandalous for the per
sonal friends. who are also the political
ieuienants, of the President of the
United States to make bid for such a
profitable privilege rs the seal fisheries.
a man is always in more danger from
his friends that from himself. Witness
the scandals which occurred during
General Grants Presidency. His hon
csty is conceded, but scandal after
scandal maTed his Administration.
His friends were the cause of them all.
So ii is now.
President lIarrisou's closest personal
and political friends, even his family
physician. are seeking the Government s
richest gift. 1t may be all right, but it
will be absolutely impossible to make
anybody believe that it is So If they
gain the contract, the public will be-
lieve that they gained it because they
had access 10 the private ear of the
President For this reason it is scandal
lous for them to bid Mt all
The Washington critic., 1890-02-26
THE GENUS LIT LOOSE.

From amid the undigested mass of
news transmitted by the cable relative
TO the mixed condition of European
affairs, where Socialists have triumphed
and lmperialists and Conservatives have
been virtually beaten at the polls, comes
one gleam of political intelligence, and
il is "of purest ray serene" Referring
to the German Emperor's project in
regard to an international conference to
consider the general question Of labor
and the condition of the worliingman.
President Carnot remarked that the
kaiscr's experiment might be like the
act of the fisherman in the Arabian
Nights, who released the genius from
the box in which he had been confined
only to find that the self same genius
had vowed his destruction.
This, TO all intents and purposes, is
the feeling in the monarchical countries
of Europe today. All around the
thrones, and encircling the artificial
classes of society that stand upon pre-
scriptive rights, range the rights, wants,
woes of humanity, and it is felt that, if
anything is conceded, the genius may
he let loose.
And history shows how terrible this
letting loose of the genius may prove.
Ia France the calling together of the
States General in 1889 set free the
genius, before that time confined, and
brought on the revolution and the sub
sequent history Of that country.
Republics, too, have their experiences
of this sort. Our Republic let loose
the genius Of universal suffrage. and
now finds itself confronted with hun
dreds Of thousands of voters who can
not read the Constitution nor know
what il means. The reconstruction pc
Rod, which Witnessed the indiscrim-
mate bestowal of suffrage upon the lib
Grated negro, was also the liberation of
the genius of the story, and the race
problem now confronts the South as a
consequence.
In these old stories the wise will
sometimes find lessons and principles of
very wide application, and, in general,
it may be said that the best provision
for the present and future can be made
through a careful study Of the lessons
of the past.
The Washington critic., 1890-02-26
ADJUSTMENTS.

"THE CROwN Emma Alb
bott and hercompany appeared last night in
Auber's romantic opera, ''The Crown Dia-
monds," at The National Theatre The cast
included, besides Miss Abbott, Lizzie An
nandsle, Michelena, Pruette, BrOderick,
and Allan. The opera was sung with all
the merit that characterized their Monday
nights presentation of "Ernani,n and Miss
Abbott won repeated applause. Miss An
nandale was in excellent voice Michelena
and Pruette sang effectively aud with
yigor. There was large audience present.
The remainder of the week at the Ma
tiOnal viii be taken up 10y variety of per
formances, In which Miss Abbott and her
company will be seen in several grades of
opera. Tonight martha will be given,
Abbott taking the character Of Laig He,l
ricttd, in which she slngs "The Last Rose of
summer Tomorrow "Il 1rovatorer
will be given with Abbott as Le0nora, and
ON Friday "Ernanin will be repeated. This
afternoon "The Bohemian Girn will be
given by the company only, but ON satur-
The Washington critic., 1890-02-26
AMUSEMENT NOTES.

NEW NATGoNAL TUEArRE--Scats will be
on sale at this theatre tomorrow morning
for the engagement next week of "Mr
Barnes Of New York;
AIBAuGn's GRAND OrERA.HoUsE-
Bronson Howard's "Thc Henrietta" will
be produced at this house next week by
MIR. Stuart Robson. Seats will be on sale
tomorrow morning.
EDWIN BooTu-There will be three
special Washington nights ut Albaugh's
Holiday street Theatre next week
Monday, Wednesday and Friday. The at
fractions will be respectively, "Hamlet.n -
"Richelieu' and the "Merchant of Venice
Seats are still selling at MIier's bookstore.
HARRIS BIJoU.-The talented little SOU
brette, Florence j. Bindley, whose accom-
plishments are as varied as her dramatic
talent is pronounced, will be at Harris
Biiou Theatre next week.
KERNAN's-Gus Hills World of Novel
ties, embracing new acts and faces, and in
cluding Chip, the wonderful boy comedian,
5years old, will be at Kernan's next week.
The Washington critic., 1890-02-26
TILE nrrr or TILE n0rR.

THE Critic has been at great pains
TO ascertain and publish the opinions of
many well-known citizens of three inn
portant classes in regard to the question
of unjust assessments now being agi-
tated. 1t will be seen that a great ma
jority Of them is in full support of THE
Carries original statement, and that
nearly all of them agree that reform
of the present system is an imperative
necessity.
A day or two ago it was sug-
gested that the true way to go to work
for the redress of this grievance was
either to form new associations of the
people in the several sections Of the
city which should by committees and
otherwise. proceed to ascertain the facts
on which "A proper representation might
be based; or to utilize, for the same
purpose, the popular organizations now
existing.
The principal of these is the Com
mittee of One Hundred" and as this
body has given attention to the matter
Of District assessments for several
months past and seems to have arrived
at the conclusion that the unjust system
should be abolished, it is probable that
through II the speediest action could be
taken. What is TO hinder this inn
portani and representative committee
from convening as soon as possible and
taking the matter into immediate and
special consideration
SOmething should be done, and that
The Washington critic., 1890-02-26
E.NEQE.lL TlN.i1ION.

Unjust--that is, unequal-taXatio
can only arise from unequal assessment.
The assessment has nothing to do with
the amount, OF what is called the bur
den" of taxation.
In this District the estimates for each
ensuing year are finally made up in the
Commissioners Office, and upon them
is founded what is known as
the District Appropriation bill
When this bill is passed half
of the sum appropriated becomes the
ax-levy of the District and is the
fixed burden of our taxation The rate
per cent. of the general assessment
which will raise this sum is then asccr-
tanned and thereafter the amount of tax
required from each individual is readily
determined.
been proportionately just, it will be
seen at once that the distribution of
taxation will also be just. But If the
assessment is unequal-if in that there
has been any discrimination or favorit-
ism-lhat same inequality or discrimi.
nation will appear in the apportion-
ment of taxation.
The great preponderance of testi'
mony shows that the assessment Of this
District discriminates against the poor
and the moderately y-circumstanced prop
erty holders and in favor of the rich,
tits, therefore, Il mathematical certainty
that in taxation under such a system the
poor are Disseminated against and the
rich favored.
The Washington critic., 1890-02-26

at once. Exposures Of fraud are per-
fcctly innocuous and uuavailiug unless
there is spirit enough in the people to
demand It's cessation and redress. If
citizens desire 10 put an end to unjust
taxation through unequal assessment
let that desire be made known to the
Commissioners and to Congress in
rlcnr and mnmiYncnl ierms.
The Washington critic., 1890-02-26
mr.. MORNElS ISSISTINT.

TnE Critic Office yesterday received a
visit from Mr.. w. II. Ward, well known as
having assisted Morse in stretching the first
telegraph line between Washington and
the laying of the first Atlantic cable, and
caused something of panic among the
shareholders of the company by predicting
the failure OF the recording instruments at
SO long range. The panic was relieved,
however, by his invention of the flash sys-
tenn, at present in use. Mr.. Ward Is now
in Washington urging the renewal of his
patent for bulet-making.
The Washington critic., 1890-02-26
| S0RR0mrrL SERArLL

Miss Willard writes to Susan B. Anthony,
for her seyentieth birthday, note in which
she says
Beloved Susan; You have lived seventy
selfess, sacred, sorrowiul, seraphc years"
Miss Willard is evidently not well in-
formed about seraphs. Latest information
is that seraphs are never sorrowful. If Miss
Willard has been as adieetlvorous as the
occasion demanded, she would have said;
Dear Susan; You are the most sweetest
and most sprightly, sportive, splendid,
spicy, spunky specimen OF a sponseless
tpinster ever seen In this country Boston
Herald
The Washington critic., 1890-02-26
SOnLrHLNG NElKLN nrELS.

West Virginia has given us something
new in the way of duel Last Sunday
two men, who were continuing a drunk
over from Saturday, Quarreled aud decided
on duel, They only had one pistol. That
did not stop them, They agreed on taking
shot turn about. They faithfully carried
out this agreement, firing two shots apiece,
when friends interfered and stopped the
affair. One of the duelists was suffering
from a scalp wound and the other was shot
through the hand. The playwright who
wanted a new duellng scene can find u
hint here.
The Washington critic., 1890-02-26

sation for mail service, aud by none
oftener or with more misleading pur-
pose than by the advocates Of subsidies.
These things are entirely distinct. The
advocates of subsidies point to the
immense floating commerce of England
as the result of subsidized aid Eng
land has commerce that goes every
where. Her mails, therefore, also 90
to the same universal destination, and
the ships that carry them are well paid
for the service. But England gives no
subsidies.
There is no objection to liberal pay
for carrying ocean mails under the
American flag. Neither, as the policy
of nations now shapes itself need there
be any serious complaint if the Govern
ment should judiciously aid in the con
struction of merchant ships after pat
tern which would make them converii-
BILE into war vessels for the Government
in case of need. Such expenditures
might, in some sense be justified by the
plea that they were made for the gen
cral welfare.
But the subsidy system which Repub.
licans advocate is not at all in the ma
turc of compensation for services rem
dered or to be rendered.
The demand in the propositions now
before Congress is that bounty Of
thirty cents a registered ton be paid for
every thousand miles of voyage. A
steamship Of 5000 tons sailing from
New York to Liverpool would receive
over $4,000 n trip, and, for ten trips,
over Sj0,000. That is, Sj0,000 would
he taken forcibly and unjuslly from
the people of the United States to
bolster up the business of an individual
or company embarked in a carrying
trade, which, confessedly, would fail
without such help.
This is what is meant by subsidies as
the governing political party intends to
grant them, and the injustice of the
scheme is so manifest that it scarcely
needs to be pointed out.
The Washington critic., 1890-02-26

" THE Biou MAN palatial residence
is favored in its assessment TO reward
his enterprise, as Mr.. Warner says is
just, it must follow that the poor man
will, in consequence. pay higher tax
on his small and meagrc house, which
Mr.. Warner must think also just.
The Washington critic., 1890-02-26
WHAT THE STAR CLOCK SAW.

Up on the landing the stair clock stood
The prim old clock,
A staid as rock
Aud ticked away as hard rs II could;
"Tick took, ticktock,
'Tis late, go lock-"
Down In the doorway lover wooed-
A signing swain,
A cooling twain,
Each heart with love in a melting mood;
To part was pain,
Twas plain, quite plain.
The signing swain took final kiss
A rousing smack,
A bold attack
The dying note of their soulful bliss;
Alas! alack!
A parting crack.
The old clock saw, and It hid its face;
A shocking sight
So late AT night;
II woke the echoes about the place;
"Not right, not right
Young man, take light
1t looked again and beheld q sight
An old mau mad,
The young girls dad
A fleeing form In the cold, dark night,
A maiden sad,
Half sad, half glad.
-FTaak b. lIeirh 6t-IHe Je,ceier.
The Washington critic., 1890-02-26

THE NEGROES or Topeka Kan.
have organized secret political so
ciety, to be known rs the First Grand
Independent Brotherhood. It's OBJ
iect is TO settle enough negroes in
Oklahoma to control it, They
say the white men will then be com
PEELED to recognize the negroes as
equals or keep out. The negroes are
in big majority in both South Caro-
lima and Mississippi, but that fact
doesen't compel the whites to treat
them as equals or keep out. Why
should it work differently in Okla
homaf
The Washington critic., 1890-02-26

ALASKA SEAL FUR fisheries bid No. s
is neither greatly better nor greatly
worse than several Of its fellows. But
there are some indianapolis business
men interested in it,
The Washington critic., 1890-02-26

ALL IMPROVEMENTS benefit the city,
but it is the city that gives value to all
Improvements.
The Washington critic., 1890-02-26

UNEQUAL assessment means unjust
taxation
The Washington critic., 1890-02-26
ANSIrERED LIKE 4 NAN.

Mr.. Figg-lf you were out in boat with
your wife and sister, and the boat should
upset, which one would you saver
Mr.. HOgg Myself. Icrre HdWe El-
press
The Washington critic., 1890-02-26

BELl.1 on COAST DEFENSES.
Belya Loclwool's head is entirely level
on the subject of coast defenses. She says
we do not need to spend ten cents for them
If we mind our own business Bravo for
Belya! BOSTON WeraM
The Washington critic., 1890-02-26

THE HOUSE CLAIMS Committee yesterday
decided, by vote of 10 to ], to recommend
to the House bill providing for the pay
ment of those of the French spoliation
claims which the Court of Claims decided
were valid and ought to be paid. The only
negative vote was cast by Mr.. Laidlow, the
chairman. 1t is thought possible that he
was influenced by consideration of the
fact that the Republican leaders contem-
plate unusually heavy appropriations, and
would, therefore, prefer that such a little
matter as paying century-old claims should
be postponed until more convenient sea-
son.
The Washington critic., 1890-02-26
MS TIME HIS, LIMITED.

A man was sentenced TO be hanged. He
was on the scairold with the sheriff aud
the parson. There was a rude, improvised
seat on the outer edge of the platform, and
for some reason the programme was de-
lsyed few moments. The sheriff said TO
the prisoners
"You might be seated
"No, thank you,n replied the prisoner,
81 can't stay long. - Olidhd World Herdid.
The Washington critic., 1890-02-26

TnE wiLp-ElED, long-haired individual
wearing big Mexican sombrero with a
snake for cord, trousers tucked in boot
tops, and wearing big, iingling spurs, who
terday, was The celebrated scout and
boomer, Oklahoma Bill, He was accorded
the privileges of the floor at an early hour
by special order and held it until adjourn
ment, He was introduced to the members
by Representative Springer.
The Washington critic., 1890-02-26

THE NEWS COMES from Siam that the
King has granted valuable concessions in
mines, railroads, and banking to Amer
leans, having previously refused them
to EDglishmen. The astute monarch feared
the English were plotting to seize his king
dom, while, of course, he had no such
fear as to this country. This is
suggestive. The nations of the
East are not suspicious of the United
States. They know we have no designs
upon their independence. Of all European
countries they are distrustful, Americans
ought, therefore, TO lind the Fast a bounti-
full field for their enterprise.
The Washington critic., 1890-02-26

DoEs MAN show public spirit in
any true sense when, Mt the expense of
higher taxation on his fellow citizens, he
erects fine buildings or makes other i'm.
provements, the prospective and in
creasipg values of which rebound
wholly to his own individual profit?
The Washington critic., 1890-02-26
day Miss Abbott VIII sing at both perform

day Miss Abbott VIII sing at both perform
ances.
HoMrorsrwc FREE DrsrENsARY 49, A
bencat for the Homeopathic Free Dispcn
sary was given last night in the lecture
room Of All Souls Church. Piano solos were
rendered by Miss Ida Townsend, Miss Ed
munds aud Miss Roscnburg. Miss Hans
man aud Miss Brown sang, and Howelis
"Mousc Trap" was given, with the following
cast:
Mrs Somers. ...........,..M Miss Minnie Saxton
Mrs Bemiss..........,. Miss Maud Lightfoot
Jane...............,... Miss Mary Blount
Mrs. Miler......,...,,,..,.M Miss May Wright
Mrs. Curwen ..,..... Miss Carolyn ComstQck
Mrs. ROberts..,...,..M Miss Annah Fletcher
Wills Campbell. f. G. Seward
There was large attendance.
Edwin BooTu.--A special train of five
cars carried several hundred people to Bal
timore last night to see Edwin Booth as
Rcncdick in "Much Ado About Nothing. ="
The Holiday street Theatre was comfort
ably filled with an anaudencc made up Of the
fashionable people Of both Baltimore aud
Washington, and they showed their appre-
citation by frequent applause and eRcOrcs
Miss Minna X Gale as BcGiricc was superb,
and her rendition of the part left nothing
TO he desired Her graceful figure and the
naturalness of her acting charmed the
audience. The supporting company is
strong, and the stage settings showed a
careful study of the time in which the
scenes are laid Booth will be in Baltimore
for two weeks.