Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-08-03
MR.. EDISON. ARE YOU EQUAL TO 1T!
success Would Insure You a Patent as
Saint of the spinster world.
New York SUM-

"Yes, truly. She has man she folds
up and puts away. He is lovely"
Il can't believe it. see her everywhere
with such distinguished chap-holds him
self like a soldier and looks like lord"
"Of course. He's made of wood. That's
why he's 40 stiff. Then his expression
never changes. That's why he looks SO
aristocratic."
Where on earth did she get him?"
Bought HIM. She's rich, you know,
and could have bought lots of live ones.
but YOU can't get rid of them when
you wish to, and seldom have them when
Won need them. Now when she requires
an escort she whisks this fellow out OF his
box. unfolds and screws him together. and.
presto a mani"
But doesn't she die or duiness! VINO
talks TO herr"
He does. If she pulls the string he
conversation interchangeable cylinders.
There is one of small talk, one on base
ball, one on religion. They were talked
into by Ward McAllister. Johnny Ward
and Talmage. Later on she can get others
embracing all subjects. but really she sell
dom needs TO use any but the small-talk
How Jolly! When she wants to talk,
what them"
"Oh, she shuts him off There is ape
cial stop for yes and no, and he never
Anglers her by disagreeing, for she presses
the button aud has q negative or affirma-
tive. lust as she wishes. Her temper Is
really perfect since she's had him, for he's
her constant companion and never RULES
her,"
Dear me! How wish had one!"
My dear, you are only one OF many
millions who are sitting that wish, but
patience; they will soon be ready for sale.
/ hear there have been large orders from
hotel keepers all over the United States.
and Massachusetts, and Connecticut alone
have bid for fifty thousand TO start on"
What blessing to womankindl Only
fancy tho poor old maids, the unattractive
widows, the elderly females who will be
benefited. Thin of the hosts of them
without father, brother, husband, or beau.
They must either stay at home, employ
messenger-boys. or put up with some
makeshift of fellow obtained at great
trouble and some risk woman can't DO
housed up all the time, and she dis
likes going about like a parcel and the
makeshift is sure TO bore her-that's where
the risk comes in. Is this way you can
pick out man, short or long. fat or thin.
light or dark-suit your own complex
ion and style. and have him changed
as your fancy dictates. After q time you
forget he's not alive. He looks 40 nice and
is always on hand. yet SO easily disposed of.
At first did fancy should tire Of his con-
vsrsation, but il was just like that the real
man used, and was as much interested as
before. Some women will feel sensitive,
Us having one is tacit acknowledgment
you can't get the other kind. Still they
are initiating them 80 cleverly that il Is
difficult to tell which is the patented man.
Bless your heart. don't fancy they will
supplant the flesh and blood fellows.
That's not the idea at all. They are only
substitutes for these who can't get the
others.
"There'ss pile of coin in the enterprise,
and the man who owns the plant has o big
fortune assured. Tell all the women you
know about 1t. It's almost too good 10
believe. but strue. shall write out this
conversation for some editor, and II he's
not bigger wooden-head than the subject
Of the article he'll publish it."