Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1890-08-14

EVdueu-0lVlng Ills 5lster away,
ETC., Etc.
WHY, OH, wHYi
Samson-Since your marriage, no
doubt, the question has often occurred
to you whether marriage is failure.
Thompson-Not exactly; but am
continually asking myself, "Why did /
consider bachelorhood a failure2"-
Epoch.
HORRIBLE PUNISHMENT OF RUSSIAN.
"What a horrible punishment ex-
claimed Cumso, as he laid down the
newspaper.
"What is it, Loves" asked his wife.
can American gentleman in St.
Petersburg has made Russian eat his
words. - New York Sun.
WISE LITTLE SISTER.
Little Sister, know who's going to
call tonight; it's Harry.
Big Sister-How do you know2
Little Sister-You picked ont his pic
ture and put it on the mantel where he
would see it, and took down Mr.. Jones'
and laid it away until Sunday night
Boston Herald.
VERY DIFFERENT MATTER.
s'Is that love letter7" asked one law
yer of another, who was porting busily
over some closely written sheets.
ooh, no, replied the other confuse 2.
ly. sits only writ of attachment. ~
Bonneville Journal.
HINT EvADED.
GLOW warm it isr' said she, after fin
ish the second plate of ice cream.
EYES," he replied, ''it's half melting
Il really don't think it's worth while to
pay any more money for the stuff. v
Munsey's Weekly.
GIVING HIS SISTER AWAY.
81 suppose, Tommy, you love your
sister very much, said the gentleman
who was paying his addresses to Tom
my's sister.
TOMMY love her when there are
fellers around. She is mighty good to
me then, but she is as cross as the mis-
chief after they are gone. She is like
fiddle. She is no good without beau.
Amt that so, Fans-[Texas Siftings.
NOTHING UNDER THE HAT.
Jones quitting on a new hat)-This
looks like the deuce on me, don't itl
Brownies; but don't be too hard
on the hat. Put something under it,
and give it chance.
PERFECTLY EASY.
'SIary, l love you deeply. viii you
be my wifeG"
81 don't know, George. Can you sup
port met"
81 think SO. You have little some
thing, haven't you9"
eyes; | have 81, 800 year."
"Why, then, it's perfectly easy. I am
sure we could live on 81, 900 year.
FREsHLEIGH's PROPOSITION.
az like that young Mr.. Freshleigh,
Amanda. He was graduated this year,
was he notf'
ssYes, pa. lam glad you like him, for
think he is real smart"
che is real smart. He came to me at
my Office yesterday, and said that as he
expected to get through his vacation In
September he wanted to go into bust
ness; and what do you suppose be offered
to DOR
"What, papa7"
''Said if I'd make him full partner in
the business he'd marry you. "-[B Bazaar.
SATISFIED.
81 don't believe in cremation"
''Why not 2"
1--WE have enough family jars in the
house now.n
DEcEIvING EVER.
Wife-Oh, how could you deceive me
so7 When you told me you owned this
house you didn't say a word about the
two mortgages.
Hubbie-And when used to toy with
those golden tresses you never told me
they weren't indigenous. Lippincott's.
HE WASN'T sUPERsTITIoUs.
Teacher On grammar SCHOOL,
lesson to-day is on nouns. Nouns are
names of things.
Small Boy-Is ghost nounl
Teacher-Yes.
Small Boy-How can it beG They
amt no such thing as ghost II Bazaar.
CAUSE AND EFFECT.
Little Country Girl pointing to
tender little dude)-Mamma, what's
thatl
Wise Mother That's what comes of
livln' in flats.-[Good News.
HURT HIS FEELINGS.
"What's the matter with papa's boy7"
asked Mr.. Smithers of his little boy.
"Mithter Bwown said l looked like
Won. VI Harper's Young People