Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1890-01-23
WIT AND HUMOR.

marked one steer TO another as they
started for a couple of policemen. -
Boston Globe.
Il think the world Of that girl, Harry
in fact, | adore her, and / don't know
how to get over it." Why don't you
marry her?'- Time.
Il hear John has place under the
Government. Yes" Make any
money?' Heaps; 100000 week.
He's IN the mint?"-.H uaScys Weekly.
Wild-Eyed Customer Have you
any goods made of soleleather or boiler
irou?" Clothing Merchant" sir,
we don't keep boys clothing. ~ T.
Weekly.
He--'Dearest, what is your real
opinion of meg" She-.Don't ask silly
questions. You will find ont soon
enough after we are married. n-IGrrs
Hauts Express.
NY dear sir, how much your
daughter has grown this last summer.
l can scarcely believe it. Why her dress
scarcely reaches to her shoulders. ~
FtisgsRd5 Bidtter.
Almost everybody in this world is
susceptible TO ilattery. The easiest way
to hatter some people is to remark TO
them how imperyious to hattcry they
are. -S0merCiile Journal.
Marriage, remarked Biggs, sis a
sort Of brief swoon. When / was first
married Mrs. B and / thought we were
one; but it wasn't long before we came
two. n-BOst0R Transcript
1t is generally safe to trust to a
woman's generosity unless she knows
that YOU are in love with heror you are
so unfortunate as t be another woman
yoursef-.Somervite Journal.
Miss Smiley is going to travel under
an assumed name. you surprise
mel' Yes; she is going to be married
next week and going on her wedding
journey. - I0a5erS Statesman.
She-"O. see that scarecrow out
there in the lield!" He-"That isn't a
scarecrow.n 1T must be; see how
motionless it is" That's the hired
man at work. Yankee Btade.
Admiring Friend (to struggling
artist drawing is grand Is
there anything you can't draw?n
Struggling Artist--"Ye s; my check and
a prize in the lottery. "-Ep0ch.
4 DanyiIle editor has written a song
entitled, Il am Glad Said Yes He
is TO be excused, for he didn't know at
the time what a headache he would
have the next morning. - Rochester
Herald.
RichblooI-"Look at me. Sickly. /
never paid cent to u doctor in my
life. Sickly ~ You ought to be
ashamed to boast of it, Richblood.
Why don't you pay your debts''-
Boston Hsrata.
"And Minnie has made a fortune out
of her piano playing. How did she do
it so qujckly?n "She practiced on the
piano somuch that her uncle committed
suicide, and she was his heir, you
know. '-Epoch.
Yes said Fogg, after listening to
a tale of suffering and death, ives, we
all have our trials. lost my train this
morning and had to wait five minutes
before the next one came along. -
Boston Transcript.
Il hear that Bronson has a regular
soft snap in the Government employ"
I Yes His position is all cake-he's a
detective in the mint. Then it can't
be cake-it must be mint-spy. ~ y
/ Commercial ddUortjser.
We have received a copy of a new
paper devoted principally to the in
/ terests of boudholders. All we want
now are some bonds to hold, and then
1 the new paper will interest US immense
I y.-NOryjStotCH Herald.
1 Miss Backnumber-'M my little dog
/ Hero was awfully scratched by cat
today, SO | think l shall change his
name Miss What will You
| call him now?n Miss Backnumber
I Claude ~ \. san.
First mau-"It's very hot in here. ]
wish every one wouldn't shut the door
when they go OUT Second Man-"In
| fix it SO they WON'T And he did. He
( put up a sign which read: please
/ Shut the Door. ~ T. Sun.
DO you remember that awfully
smart boy YOU used to have in your
| office - johnny smith, 20 yes.
"How did he come out?' He hasn't
come out. He got twenty years in
Sing Sing. ~ T. Commercial AdUer-
tissr.
She (coyly)-"Now. you must only
take one, George" He (gallantly) -
But one from one leaves nothing,
Mabel. Let's make it one each and
tie" She (blushing)-"It's very sud
den, George, but you may ask papa. -
" T. sun.
Benks -"Are you going to see Mol
I chi. the famous actor, tonight" Dob
I son-'No, sirn Blenks-"Why not?''
+ Dobson-'It costs too much / paid
/ $50 for seeing an actor last week. "
Benks- How was that?n Dobson-
He held four aces
Clothing Salesmau-"Weu how do
you like this Yattern?n Customer
Cant you give me something a little
quieterp You see, l frequently come
home after midnight, and it is a matter
of some importance to me not to wake
up my wife Burlington Free Press.
Omaha Teacher-"Vnl some mem
Der of the class explain how we hear
( thingsp" Bright Sprig-" Somebody
. IN 49,, ,c,,,.a4 lt7,cr doyVD-tOu-u then ma