The Sunday herald and weekly national intelligencer., 1890-09-07
TALK OF THE WEEK.

Office who is noted for his absent-mindness
He passes a great deal OF his time In apparently
total oblivion of what is going on about him
and most of his movements seem to be largely
automatic. Consequently he makes good
many mistakes OF ludicrous character. When
he arouses to the consciousness that he has
made a mistake, like most men of this habit, he
falls into furry of nervous excitement which
usually makes matters ten times worse. He
went home later than usual the other
night in extreme fit of abstraction.
houses that are externally alike in all
respects. Even the same keys fit the front
doors, it would seem. Somehow the gentleman
on this night turned in at the wrong gateway
and got into house not his own without dis
covering it. He put his hat on the rack and
began to climb the stairway, when he was
rudely called from his fit of abstraction
by the shrill shrek of woman.
head of the stairs gazing down in terror at him,
yelling Burglars! Murder! Police ~ Real
izing what he had done, the gentleman, fully as
frightened as the woman, nearly fell backward
down stairs in his excitement Then he tried
to jerk out an explanation, backing down stairs
as he did so. He continued to explain clean to
the door, and as he popped outside he had
TO begin his explanation all over again,
for he rushed into the arms of policeman
The latter attempted to hustle him off without
ceremony to the station, but the gentleman was
so earnest, fervent, and profuse in his explana-
lions that the officer at last paused and listened.
lhen the frightened lady appeared at the door,
recognized her absent-minded neighbor, and
between the explanations of both parties to the
scare the policeman was convinced that no
burglary was intended, and let the Patent Office
man go home.
Two passengers who were being made dizzy
by being whired about the city at the rate of
four miles an hour on belt-line car the other
day witnessed curious scene on Four-and-a-
half street. They had noticed for some time
that the driver was not wholly at ease. When
ever he could with safety let go the brake with
his right hand he would catch hold of his law
and stroke 1t soothingly, then he would mutter
quietly but viciously to himself, dig his toes
into the dashboard, grab his whip, and vigor-
ously pelt the unhappy horse that was dragging
the bob-tail. In fact the driver seemed to be
in pain. He was in pain, and it Increased with
every jolt and jar as the Unbalanced vehicle
pursued its onward course. He had wild
jumping, maddening toothache. As the car ap-
preached drugstore on Four-and-a- half street
the driver jerked the horse to standstill, set
the brake with an energy that precipitated the
two passengers against the forward part of the
car, ripped out an oath, jumped over the dash
board, and fled into the drug store. For three
minutes the car stood on the street, while the
passengers tried TO collect themselves and their
senses, and began to wonder If the driver had
deserted them for good and intended to commit
suicide. Before they could come to any def
mite conclusion or decide on course of action
the driver reappeared with his hand to his jaw,
and eXpectorating ensanguined saliva at every
step. He jumped over the dashboard, however,
with the air of man whose nerves had been
vastly relieved, and as he slipped the brake and
cllck,clicked to his horse the expression of
terocity fled from his face and he broke into
smile. In fact, the driver had had his tooth
pulled.
Mr.. Kennedy, who deluged Senator Quay with
oratorical nitric acid the other day in the House
of Representatives, may escape punishment for
the present, but the wrath of PENNSYLVANIA is
stored away not alone for him, but for others of
his Republican colleagues from Ohio. In fact,
there has been a feud between the Pennsylvania
and Ohio Republicans almost from the begin
ming of this Administration. and of course it
started in quarrel over the distribution of the
spoils. Early in the summer of 1889 man from
Ohio and man from Pennsylvania got their
eyes rigidly fixed on a particularly desirable
place in the Treasury Department The sleuth-
hound tenacity of the Ohioan in pursuit of an
office has passed into proverb The Pennsyl-
Yanians somehow have escaped this reputation
but they deserve it all the same. Each of the
men who lusted for the Office in the Treasury
Department was backed by about all the nfu-
ence there was in his State. AS may be readily
bodies toward the same point threatened dis
aster that was simply appalling in it's possible
consequences. SO truce was called, and an
agreement entered into by which final action as
to the giving out of the Office was postponed in
the hope that something might turn up that
would avert a hand-to-hand conflict. 1t was
agreed by both sides, meanwhile, that neither
should do anything without informing the other.
X X X
Things remained in this position for some
time, when to the dismay and anger of the
Pennsylvanians the Ohio man was given the
Office by the President The Pennsylvanians
charged then, and still charge that the Presi-
dents action was secured by Misrepresentation
on the part of the Ohio people. and that it was
breach of faith in any event 1t is said on
very good authority that the ill-wll engendered
among the Pennsylvanians by this incident had
a great deal to do with the defeat of Mai. Nc
Kinley for the Speakership and the election of
Mr.. Reed. 1t is we'll known that several Penn
Vanla Republican members, who gave early
pledges to vote for Maj. Mckinley for Speaker,
came out for Mr.. Reed when the contest ac-
tually opened. This detection of influential
men greatly discouraged Maj. McKinley's fol-
lowers, had much to do with solidifying the
New York Republican delegation for Mr.. Reed,
cess OF that gentleman. than any other one ele
ment In the contest.
Now the Pennsylvanians charge that the at
tack of Mr.. Kennedy on Senator Quay was
another evidence of the treachery and jealousy of
the OhiOans fhar dac Of =, n ,,I,o+