The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1890-11-28
PuNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

One tree in the Sierra Nevadas
measures 129H feet in circumference.
Whom girl is in love she always
thinks the young man is perfect, and he
agrees with her. -Somerville Journal.
When you see boy with beautiful.
long, yellow curls there is very little
doubt as to who is the head of the fam
indianapolis Journal.
Mrs. Blossom Ito her husband who
has come home with black eye)-
That's what you get for riding a bicy-
cle." Mr.. Blossom (mournfully)-"No,
my dear, it's what get for not being
able to ride one. The Epoch.
Did Not Return It-Tom -a''Did
Phil return that umbrella he carried
away from your house by mistaken
Jack-''No, but he lent it to me the
other night when I was caught out in
the rain. Yankee Blade.
~ see you are going to seed your
tennis-court" mo, what put that idea
into your head?" "It's all plowed up. +"
80, know. Miss Hicks, of New York,
has been playing on it with high-heeled
shoes. "-Harper's Bazaar.
"A Chicago photographer is coming
money. When he wants a customer to
look pleasant he points to sign which
reads, absolute Divorce Guaranteed
for so Cents" He has taken some won
derful pictures. -Yonkers Statesman.
~ shall now give you the effect of
distance" he said to her, and he sang so
low as to be scarcely heard. "a little
further, please" she said cruelty, and
he picked up his voice and went away
with it into the chilly night.-Washing-
ton Star
No Trouble to Identify.
worth-'Why, can tell pen-and-ink
artists work just as quick as can tell
his handwriting" Scribbletown-"Yes;
/ notice they are always pretty careful
to sign their names.-Puck.
We hoped that with the waning OF the year
The boiled-shirt girl would go, to reappear
In different guise;
But no, alas! They're right here with us yet.
Appearing still ito mans sincere regret)
Indifferent guys.
indianapolis Journal
Wonders of Science. - Lady--"Do
you take instantaneous photographer"
Photographer - "Yes, madam; l can
photograph a humming-bird on the
wing, or swallow in it's flight" Lady
81 want my baby's picture taken"
Photogra madam. Get the
little fellow ready, and ] will prepare
tho chloroform. IN. Y. Weekly.
"A Domestic Poin ter. Mrs. De Cott-
And SO you won't let me have that fiat
although am willing pay in advance"
Agent-"No, madam. You have too
many children" Mrs. De Cott-"But
all fiat, and house owners, too, talk the
same way. What am | to do? Even if
l have children | must live" Agent
(confidentially)-"Move into the SUBJ
urbs and stay there until malaria kills
a few of 'em off Good News.
1t is announced that by new pro-
cess a SIS dog can be boiled down and
converted into five cents worth of glue.
1t is not likely that this discovery will
induce many owners of SIS dogs to con-
vert the animals into glue as money
day is a plan whereby a five-cent dog
may be boiled down and converted into
$75 worth of glue. Norristown Herald.
"A Disguised Lawyer. -"Whatmakes
you look so disguised, Sharp asked
one young lawyer of another, the other
day. "Why, you know that old skim
flint, Blunt. don't you?" 1.-The million
aire? Yes?" well, he died yesterday,
without making will, and. here are
half tho lawyers in town starving. His
heirs will probably get every cent, the
COMPOUNDED old hunks"