Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1890-10-30
AL old Fn.hiond Mo.her.ln-1au.


Knowing that the mother-in-law has
never before been written up the fol-
lowing Is vouchsafed the suffering pub
lie. Il happened quite q number Of
years ago, but the recollection Of the
Incident Is quite as fresh as II was then,
or Immediately after It occurred. /
happened to be in the Office Of the city
marshal Of the city Of San Antonio,
Tex, hunting for Items, 1 beinga local
reporter at the time, when tall woman
entered, aud sitting down hard on the
end of bench batted her eyes q time
or so at the city marshal, aud opening
her mouth, which bore evidence Of
having been used for spufi-dipping
purposes, snapped out In o voice that
reminded one Of sharpening saw:
"Be you the galoot what locks folks
up when they don't act right?"
II regret to say, madame, that occas-
ionally have to resort to such extreme
measures with parties who show dis
position to be refractory"
~ knowed that all along, but be you
the galoot what locks 'em up? That's
what asked you. Now wanter know
i'll am going to be treated like lady,
or i'll am going to be sassed thiser way
by bow-legged, bald-headed snipe
like you?n
"Ihave answered that question al
ready, madam. am the official who
locks people up If they do not behave
properly replied the official looking
significantly at the visitor.
why didn't you say so in the first
place?n
II did say so."
"You are dog.goned liar, and If you
don't treat me like lady I'll fold you
up and sit down on you. Now you sass
me agin," and she batted her eyes once
more, somewhat after the style of ter
rier.
"What can do for you, madam"
said the official, who was beginning to
feel uncomfortable.
"Do you know nasty little cuss
with sandy hair who goes by the name
of Jake DuZenbury?"
"I do not madam
It's lucky for you you don't, for If !
believed you was one of his friends thar
would be a fight or foot race, shure,"
she said breathing hard and gritting
her teeth.
"What did he do?n
HE is married to my darter, Jemi-
my, and he told Jemimy that he would
give three hundred and twenty acres of
land and gold watch to the doctor
who would amputate my jaw. He said
my mouth was like one OF these here
swingin' doors to saloon"
ibid you demonstrate with him?"
| "Did demonstrate with him ? II
you had seed me drawin' him by the
har over the kitchen table with one
hand while basted him with a long
handled skillet, you would't have asked
that fool question. You should have
heered him callin' me gazelle and a
honey-suckle. but Providence was agin
him."
ibid you kill him?"
"That was what I was tryin to do,
but Providence was agin me. His har
was creased, and lost my holt. He
slid out the door like a scalded cat, and
jest as like as not I'll never see him
agin' and tear gathered in her eye.
"Be calm, madam. Do not excite
yourself
'.'I'll be cam after I've had just one
more chance at him. I've been mighty
Iunfornit with my sons-in-law. How
sumever, don't know as I oughter
complain. got away with jennings
first husband. 1t was real fun to re-
monstrate with him. He was game, he
was.n
'So he sassed back, did he?''
"Onct, stranger, onct. What q time
they had at the inqust. That was in
Arkansaw before we moved to Texas. ]
was younger then than am now. Thar
was some of his remains in one corner
of the yard, and few more hangin' on
the fence, and there was right pert Of
him wrapped around the axe handle."
what was the verdict?"
"What was the verdict? That's an.
other fool question. Itwas justifiable
suicide or homercide, or somethin' OF
the sort. And to think that this here
Ipesky little worthless. low-lived, Cog
gle-eyed whelp, Jake Duzenbury, defy
ing me to my teeth by scooting away
leavin' nothin' but few handsful oi
har-it's enough to make a nangel
weep.n
| tits very sad!" remarked the official
with sigh.
1t will be sadder for you If you DOM
find him. You have jest got to fine
him. Jest look for the brands I made
on him with the hot skillet. Wanted tel
Iamputate my jaw, the little brassy
whelp. Said my mouth was like one O
these here swingin' doors to saloon."
The official said that he would hum
for Jake and let her know. AS she wen
out she once more batted her eyes al
the official, and remarked with a smils
that would have done credit to Ri CHI
ard HI:
"You had better find that ar pro di
gal son-in-law, or thar'll be mnsic al
these headquarters"