Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-09-14
AFL0AT AND ASHORE.
j. w. AS CURIOUS EXPERIENCES ON
SEA AND IN UUTCHLAND.
Stupid Holianders and Intelligent Dogs
Extortions of tho CommissionaIre-An
Easy Language to Learn.
Correspondence OF ths Richmond Disps,ch.l
FIRST AVENUE HOTEL,


FIRST AVENUE HOTEL,
LONDON, September 3, 1890.
can imagine the anxiety and disap-
pointment with which your readers must
have been searching the columns of your
paper ever since my first letter promising
a series TO follow from Europe, but the
truth is have seen so much that is novel,
in parti5,Is hdnsmdrinis. and spent so much
time vaInly trying TO dodge the fellows
who lay in wait for tips" and pour boiTes
that / have not bad an opportunity TIL
now to fulfil my promise. With Brao-
shaw, Baedocker' a Casselrs interesting
"Guides for Tourists" piled up before me
might write you most learned and IN
structive letter. which would doubtless be
fled away by the editor for future refer
ence, but I should charge you large
sum for tho trouble. and money beng
no object ome, as everybody knows, pro-
pose only TO jot down a few things as they
strike tho untutored American savage
lust to give you an Abstract of Title" as
IL were. of facts amusing or instructive. III
YOU find anything / write in Baedecker or
Bradshaw will agree to pay you regular
advertising rates for this letter. We left New,
York on the great steamship Maasdsm OF
the Dutch Company thev call II "Neder-
landsch-Amerikaansch Stoomvaart Maat-
schappiin), and for ten DAYS were tossing
upon the swelling waves of Old Ocean,
on THE OCEAN WAVE
And who can describe that mighty
waste? Poets and painters may. exhaust
their genius. but they catch only here ana
there one Of its innumerable phases. III
has more colors than the chameleon
inky black, navy blue, azure. amethyst,
and green. We saw 1t IN varying aspects
now. lit by sunny sky, with scarcely
rippie on its placid bosom; and now,
whipped by gale, we saw its pillows rush,
white-foaming. at the ship like wolves
seeking their prey. But little the great
steamer rocked, az she rushed onward,
casting far up in air from her iron RIOS
vast showers of milky spray and spreading
her broad, white wings out from the
masts.
Asa FINAL BEsTISG-PLACE.
Mrs. A. objects to being drowned in tho
ocean, thinking less water would suffice
Int for myself. while not desiring to be
drowned at all, il must prefer to DO IL
o,, a larqe scale. | will not deny. however,
that when our ship lunged down, as she
did with the regularity of cloekwork, TIL
tho deck was at an anglo OF forty-tiye de-
prees and from the trough of the sea
could look about twenty-five feet up the
black and threatening wall OF water,
found the climate rather troughlcal, ana
preferred place where [ could keep cool.
/ think / formed faint idea or now tue
Israelites must have felt when they were
scamperlng across the hed sea WIN II La
raoh in hot pursuit.
/ will spare you description OF the voy-
ace. but the noble Maasdam deserves
word of praise. She is longer than the
square on Main street from Ninth TO Tenth,
and is magnifcently fitted up. with splen-
did saloons and state-rooms, lighted by
electricity. They have four regular meals
and tho dinner of nine or ten courses Is
the solemn aud imposing event OF the gay.
MANY OF the passengers were Obliged 10
render unto Caesar the things that were
Caesars. but proved to be a good SAILOR
and came up smiling 10 the todder-rack
every time the gong sounded.
LAND, AHoYl
After weary DAYS with naught in sight
but sky and sea we steamed one bright
morning close beside the Scilly Isle, oil
the coast OF England, and never did the
solid land seem moro attractive. As
through our glasses we surveyed the tow
ering cliffs, we could almost fancy we saw
Armorel of Lvonesse and Roland Lee IN
the bloom and innocence of youth stand
inc. hand in hand, upon the lofty heights
and gazing down upon the raging waves
that Numbered on the rocks below. Soon
tie islands vanished from our sight and
the blue. distant nils of La Belle France
saluted us. A brief tarry at Boulogne-sur-
mer. 10 land some of our fellow passengers,
and away again TO the mouth OF the Meuse
river. or Mas, rs our Dutch friends THINK
proper to call 1t.
THE roo HORROR,
And here we encountered for the first
time that b5te n0ire of TRANSATLANTIC yoy-
arers-a fog-and learned to our horror
and disgust that we would have 10 lie
there twenty-four hours:
"And all day long she stuck, nor life. nor mo-
AS Idly as a painted boat upon a painted
ocean,
| don't mind being mentally befogged,
for can still wigg!e my legs, not to speak
of my own private copy Of the weapon
with which Samson smote the Phlllstlnes
| but when YOU get physically befogged ON
a steamship the most economical thing
Won can do 10 TO die. I did the next best
| thing-viz.. went TO bed and reechoed the
words of Saucho PanZa: Blessed be the
| man that invented sleep" About L. VI.
| the tide rose and enabled us to enter the
river and passing through scenes OF sur
| passing lOveliness and novelty, we soon
| reached the wharf at Rotterdam. And
| here our troubles began. The majestic
| American language is at a discount III HOl-
| land. as well as the noble American dollar.
| The sight of ten a .frmd was 80 grateful TO
ms after our long incarceration that we de-
termined to walk TO the hotel, some five or
| six SQUARES distant, and this we did, to the
| dismay and disgust OF about twenty hack
men. porters, and commissioners. who
spread out behind us like the tail or a kite.
THE CoArMIssIoNAIRE.
| no Won know what commissioning
| Is? lie Is legalized robber, with gilt
| band on his hat, who takes youf baggage
| from you by force If you do not surrender
| il peaceably. One of this gentry followed
me for three squares, trying TO take o shawl
1 mad in q strap ont of my hand. flnally
cave il TO him out of sheer WEAKNESS at his
pertinacity. Arrived at the hotel, he spread
out before me a wide palm, with all four
fingers crooked up suggestively OF the
| ends. Thought he wanted me to tell his
| fortune. and began TO inspect tue lines,
but was soon undeceived. Dollar" SAD
| the brazen wretch, and that was every
word of English he knew. gave him z
| shilling, which instantly disappeared, ana
the palm resumed It's former position
| Then the just ire of the American citizen
was kindled: "Sprechen sic Deutsch, you
| internal scoundrel!" "Nein." "ParleZ-
yous FRANCHISE" "Oui, Monsieur, un
peu." "Then, you Scclevat, coupe JarreI
| et yoleur, alleZ-vous-en, on 10 yous casse
la Ger, elle.n The Dutchman contemplated
| the Anglo-Saxon fist that was at the same
time "deployed" under his nose, took III
the situation, and vanished. The hotel was
full. At least the only room they offered
was one about ten feet square, lighted by
a sky-light, and without window or Other
ventilation. Then resumed possession o.
the shawl that had raised the commotion
we filed out in sulky silence, and sooI
reached the Hotel de France, where VI
found excellent quarters.
THE DUTCH DOGS.
The next morning We were up bright anC
early and off for tour of inspection. We
had to feel our way, so 10 speak. The stu
pidity of the average Hollander when yol
question him Is amazing. His dogs have
more sense. Iwhistled and chirped TO ont
of them IN plain everyday English and, &
my surprise, he wagged his tail, walked III
TO me, and extended his paw. at the sam'
.. xrfpL rtpO a