Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-12-21
The Married Man and the Bachelor.
RIoHMoyD, December 16, 1890.

The Married Man and the Bachelor.
No. 4.
RIcHMoyD, December 16, 1890.
tn He Editor of the Dispatch:
am glad I have found the man whom
I vas in search of-the cultivated
8. Bachelor" the gentleman and
scholar" do not wish him to die and
be forgotten. not leaving even a cabinet
photograph to be treasured by the next
generation. This would be O sad future
for sucn an one. If my friend "Bache-
lor is forty, fifty, or sixty, and In good
health land has mesnsl let blm get mar
ried. never knew but one "gentle-
man aud scholar" whom l thought
should not marry. He seemed misan-
throne. IL You introduced friend to
him on the street he would not shake
hands. but pass him ruoely by. he had
hardly one male associate IN tue city.
! But at forty-lve widow captured
him {" beware Of them ~ and he said to
friend in after years that he never
knew what happiness was till be got
married, and as an illustration SAID he ::
"Don't YOU know my wife keeps me at
| home Sundays and makes me read IN
Hebrew the songs of that Jew David "
This gentlemen was greatly preludiced
against both the Christians and Jews
religions. He was a professor at the
| University.
But must confne myself to your cor
respondents letter in the DISPATCH OF
Sunday last. az [ desire TO be brief.
! While the father watches the play
and sports OF his boys. none OF the
bad instincts of which Bachelor
complains crop out. III they should
the father at once represses them
and reads his boys a lesson. 1t IS not
Just for fathers TO expect too much oil
children, as some do. A writer on this
subject SAWS wisely that come things Il
"fathershould not SEE G., should not
notice. do not pretend to say there
are not two sides 10 this, as to all other
questions nor have said that all bache-
lors are selfish or that no man should be
n bachelor, though well-off in the world
This is a great subject and there are ex-
ceptions. quito O number OF them, that l
propose 10 mention in these letters ii
nv friend Bachelor Is generous, as
1 hope he IS, were he mar
ried man no would be more so
if heroic, he would be more so If mar
ried. Let me ask him if there IS one
man in this city (shail | say one womon,
too, for whom no would gladly give hls
life +? ! doubt it, Were he married
man with seven children there would be
eight for whom be would die. ls not
this al enlargement
would not doubt my friends spa
triotism." But can ne not be more pa
triotic? There is no limit, | am glad tc
saw. in the growth Of virtue. In oil
aces of the woI the orator has made
his last appeal 10 ne patriotism of his
countrymen by calling upon them to de
fend "their wives and children" II thlt
failed the cause was hopeless. This II
an instinct aud is seen in the lowest AMI
mails. They will gladly die for then
offspring. It is az wise as 'hs beautiful
l am sorry that your correspondent
thinks that it is rare that men marry
"for a higher motive than self-gratitica
ton" This is really reflection upor
our Creator, though not intended,
am sure. Mans higher nature i
spiritual. not carnaL "Ye do greatly
err not knowing the Scriptures
If my friend does not read the Scriptures
hope. and indeed know, he has read
Paradise Lost. When Eve was present
ed TO Adam there was "heaven in he
eve" and in every step "dignity ant
grace" Reread it, my friend, and SEE
if il will not lift you higher. DIR. Sam
johnson wrote number Of articles OF
the a." Romantic" / have often wished
he had written on the "tender passion,
though he was not very "tender " him
self. This is the special theme OF tn
novelist, but there Is a deep phliosoph,
in it-this mysterious and refined at
traction. this marvellous affinity. Mel
say they can't "f fall III love-" My trouble
WAS TO "fall ont OF love" To fall In l
| instructive. | never could understand
p how man of selse and refinement coui'
fail to be attracted by sweet, innocen
pair of loving eyes. 1t is as natural a
5 TO admire beautiful landscape or the lus
trous heavens. God made men and womel
| lOI EhLu OlUtI. LAO L4hA ~itNA -4t' ""
image in MS own likeness" He did no
so make the &" beast of the field" bplri
attracts spirit. The "sweet, gentl
spirit" in woman attracts the brave
. bold spirit in affairs in man, if | ma
10 translate the Latin maxim. Did yo
= never feel it, my dear friend? L kno'
= Won have. 1t is marvellous. 1t make
E a dull man talk with delight five hour
every evening for month to one girl
4 while there is no other girl in the worl
' to whom he could talk twenty minutes
: She may be as beautiful and fair, bu
n she is not the idol of his heart
g Who can give the philosophy OF 1t
- The more elevated and refined tn
/ parties the deeper and stronger tn
Il fascination. Not of flesh, but Of spirit
n But must hold, as | could write muc
n on this subject. Your corresponder
n lastly consoles himself by the rehectio
8 that he and others like him help to SUI
% port the public schools, and SO does th
married man, and to greater advar
v tage, as he gets the worth of his money
S while the bachelor gets nothing in IT
turn. will reserve for my next lettt
the question of the increased respons
b. biiities of the married man and also Ii
I, value OF "silence." L accept these i
~ orao cbearfully II