Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1890-12-25
PITH AND POINT.


There are two things that always
make a man dream-mince pie and love.
-Atchison Globe.
Youthful Customer-"Do you shave
up or DOWN." Barber-"Well, in your
case, sir. I'll have to shave down"
THE world is full of poets who
never wrote line" says an exchange.
Very we'll; let it remain so.-Ram's
Horn.
Have You license?" asked boy
of a wheelman. "a license?" asked the
bicyclist, in establishment ''What dol
need license for?" ITO pedal"
Customer "Will these goods wash?"
Epstein Cniuredly)-"Vash? Wash?
Mine friendt, dose goods would stand q
Turkish bath efery morning!-Ameri'
can Grocer
There is no alarm clock like six.
months-old baby. The only trouble
with the baby is that you can never
tell when the blamed thing is going of.
-Somerville Journal.
-Ethel-"How do you manage to dis
tinguish the men you wish to marry
from those who really love you?" Maud
Those who really love me make such
awful fools of themselves."-N. Y.
Herald.
-Chappie-"There goes Miss Mont
gomery. cut her dead" Chollie-"Aw.
what did she do?" Chappie-"Dwedful
bad form, don't cher know? She wore
tea gown the other night while she
drank coffee.
-Newsboy-"Yer'sy yer evenin' paperl
All oh h.
Haicede-''Gimmeo one. (After careful
reading) Guess the kid was right /
have been robbed of one Indian
apolis Journal.
Tramp facetiouslyl-'Can't you
gimme bite to eat mister? I've been
travelin' on half-fare from the last viii
lage." Farmer-"WaaL We kin continue
your trip without any fare of mine"-
Harper's Bazaar.
Briggs Have you heard the latest?
Robinson has eloped with chamber
maid Griggs-"Heavens! What made
him do that?' Briggs-"I understand
she brought him an extra towel when
he asked for it.-Brooklyn Life.
II might remark" said the young
man who had met with persistent and
repeated refusals, that you are one OF
the wisest young women l ever met
"Why?" Because you seem to mo-
every thing. "-Washingto Post
Thirteen Months. -He-''That noe
turne was beautifully executed. Miss
Edith. May ask how long you have
been practicing Chopin" She-"Oh!
let me see; / began about month be-
fore poor Aunt Maria went crazy, and
she's been in the asylum a year. Dem
orest's Monthly.
Mrs. Wickwire-'At the meeting OF
the sisterhood last night we decided to
each give ten per cent. of her income tc
charity" Mr.. Wickwire-"Well, that
is very praiseworthy resolution, my
dear" Mrs. Wickwire-"I think so; and
after this when ask you for a dollar
don't you think you ought to give me
dollar and ten cents?"-Tndianapo
journal.
These Women.-"You are looking
rather sour this morning, jack" II
had little quarrel with my wife before
coming out" There's no getting
along with some of these women.
Breakfast 1ate?" mo. she wanted me
to give her twenty-five dollars to buy
herself winter jacket" "And you
couldn't give it TO her?" mo; I've
got only fifty dollars for my own over
oat."-Cape Cod Item.
-Forestalling Him.-"Hello. Shad-
bolt! Fine day, isn't it? Speaking of
the weather, by the way" "Yes.
know, Dinguss. Speaking of the wealth
er, Old Probs says there is going to be
change, and, speaking of change. re.
minds you that you came away from
home this morning and left your peck.
etbook in your other clothes So did I,
Dinguss; so did !. 1t wont work this
time. Good-morning, Dinguss. Chi
cago Tribune.