St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-06-01
A SER MON IN ADVANCE.
AN Amusing Parody on Rev. Go.
Z lightly MorriIPS StyIe.


The Irish Standard must have mind
reader on IT'S staff. At any event, con-
tfibutor to its columns furnishes a SER
mon in advance for Rev. Golightly Nor
|rlll. Even though the sermon may not
sbe exactly as if the Rev. Golightly had
himself delivered it, it must be con-
I feSsed that it is clever parody upon
1.-The oratorical style of the preacher:
.1Multiform and manifold are the ma
schinations of malicious men against the
| shply doctrine of dipping which we pro-
Tess and put in practice, but | have
neither time nor inclination to resent or
reply to the SneerS or SarcaSmS of silly
yseriveners or soul-enthraled Sophists,
since all my spirit is inhamed with
hatred of Rome. Rome! Aye, there's
1.-THE rub. And yet a rub | ween which
hath not been all of evil unto me. You
bet not! Blessings, blessings in dis
guise, beset US all at every step, but
blameable-. oh! lbameable beyond
fortune offers. forgetful of ter-ne-ter-
rith. seeks not in self-fnterest to scratch
the itching of that rub for higher
salary. They all do it. Burrell can
gather in his yearly thousands; not souls
+ but solid dollars. His bonnie blue flag
is we'll edged with gold. My Methodist
brothers have no less method in their
madness. Are we not commanded to
be all things to all men? Is it wrong to
ride upon the flowing tide of popular
favor to fortune? Where others gather
shall | take no share? Shall [, a blessed
!, Baptist divine, a babe of grace, a
r blooming hustler from wayback. BAN
tam for belligerency built, SO to say,
shall | sit silent while around me bel
low, in notes and strains which can
far excel, my less accomplished bretfl-
rem? Forbid it all NY aspirations. These
tales of Rome's depravity we have to
tell are chestnutty indeed, and hard to
stomach. but yah! while there's mar
ket for the ware, I'Il raise the vege-
tables. ut money in thy purse" Ills
good percept, and to that end my high
blood chaffed of course. 1 set another
lance in rest 'gainst Rome. And what
of Rome, Sweet sisters! Much, every
thing. Why, even schoolboy knows
it's on the yellow Tiber. All! here
is point which Burrell never
preached nor Tiffany touched on. A
dilemma. / have the Papists now
completely cornered. Ii Rome is On
the Tiber how can it be Oh rock.
Rocks ahead. Perhaps it's rocked upon
then. See We how wise and witty can
be, so solemn and sarcastic. Alas! my
friends, you know not half myst alentS.
But hear another. Outsiders say our
sect is but of yesterday. I'll show them
otherwise. IT'S night. The beauteous
orb of day has hours past sunk to rest.
from his bright face and chariot wheels
shooting effulgent be ans, which made
the west one blaze OF golden glory.
Thereais no moon nor cloud, so all the
floor of heaven is thick inlaid with
mosaics of bright gold. (''Patens" is but
"a Romsh readIhg.) Look toward the
north. Aye fellow citizens who hate
Rpme's domination, turn your backs OH
ward. Waterman, what of the night?
What see you? The symbol OF our faith
set high in heaven whence Papists' pal
sled hands can never drag it. A constel-
Iation of seven stars. The dipper. A
dipper! May l say too little, for there
you see little dipper too. Aye yes,
my son, my soH! Have not advertised
his deeds, and is not the kitten story
told in every holy household. And here
again perceive the malice of Rome
What think yeu does she call the starry
signs of baptist election? The great
and little bears! Could vlllainy devise
anything more SHOCKING, cOufQ rampant
bigotry go further? But even i'll the
lowest depths Roman duplicity finds II
Tower still. Not satisfied with thus abus-
ing us in English, she Tugs in her. ac-d
cursed Latin, and names the constella-
ton ursa major and ursa minor. Bears
indeed! We will not bear it. FOrbear-
ance would be coWardice. Let us bear
ourselves as becomes good Baptists, and
with barred teeth aud ready tongue re-
tort on our insulter There-can
malice equal that? What one of them
can soar so, ON skylark wing a singing
as go. All friends, you know not 1.-THE
OF what IS in me! | am. | am, [
am. Let these serve as beginnings
for sentences, and paragraphs and
pages, yet volumes never can eXaggerate
my excellence. | am man CT destiny.
You need me. Pass round the plate;
prove your appreciation.