The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1890-07-08
THE ARIZONA ECKER
A Backward Spring, But Business is
Good.

Good.
We extract the following from the last
issue OF the Arizona Kicker:
A SURPRISED MAN Last week we
had a frieodly criticism on Jim Taylor,
who keeps the whisky ranch at the other
end OF the bridge. We stated that his
den was probably the nearest imitation of
Hades to be found on earth, and that the
people of this section were not doing their
duty IN allowing Jim to CO lsune so much
oxygen and hydrogen. 1t was intended
as a pleasant little caution to Jim to set
his shanty OF fire and go hence, but he
didn't take it that way. On We'd
nesday cf this week he came over to take
GU scalp. He didn't drop a hint as to
his intentions, but when we caught sight
OF him a block off we knew by the jerk
OF his eyebrows that he meant US.
Ii MI. Taylor expects to make a success
IN lie he must carefully observe two or
three things. Don't pull your gun too
quick. Don't shoot before you get ready.
Don't yell when you shoot, as it only rat
ties your own nerve. He opened on US
at a distance Of 200 feet, which was 100
feet too much. He was in too great a
hurry to take aim, and his bullets were
wasted. His yells took away his breath.
When he had fired six bullets at US we
closed in, put him on his back, and made
him holler in about sixty seconds. The
ok of surprise and establishment on his
face as he found himself licked was a
laughable sight. The boys put him in an
empty barrel and rolled him around until
he was thoroughly weary, and yesterday
he was chased out Of his dive and de-
parted for the mountains.
IT DIDN'T FALL. Last Saturday the
Granite Hill Savings Bank, of this town,
failed to open its doors, and a notice was
posted up to the effect that it would open
in about a week and pay at least fifty
cents on the dollar. The boys got to-
gether about 10 o'cl, ok and Mr.. Duggan,
the president, was invited to explain
matters. He said he hadn't time Just
then, but after a rope had been passed
over his neck he explained that the failure
had been caused by ov~er-confdence in
silver mine investments. The boys doubted
this, and Mr.. Duggan was taken to the
bank and compelled to show his books
and his cash. After figuring for about
two hours a committee found that there
was enough money to pay every depostor
$1.57 on the dollar and it was accordingly
passed out, and the bank wound up in
s Ip- shape fashion. 1t was no failure,
but simply going out of business. Mr..
Duggan had calculated on a little scoop,
but the boys got ahead Of him. He left
town on foot, carrying a spare aper col
lar in his hind pocket, and we will prOba-
bly, look for some hay seed town in which
to begin life anew. We have a failure
here in trade now and then, but we per-
NIT no bank to fail unless all depositors
are first paid in full.
For OTHER FIELDs.-Ex Judge Jim
Harrison, who has been a familiar figure
on our streets for the last year, and who
was supposed to be a retired -four mer
chant from Minnesota, out here to cure
his asthma, is with us nc more. He de-
parted yesterday in charge of a detective,
and will bring up at Joliet as the end Of
his journey.
Judge Jim objected to the course of
the Kicker. He didn't like US one bit,
and when he saw US walking to the front
he felt it a personal hit at himself. He
threw out his hints that we were trying
to run the town, but that he would make
US chew cactus before he was done with
US. One day two weeks ago he tried to
force us into a personal quarrel, and we
leaned afterward that he had a Derringer
in his pants pocket and snapped at US, but
it failed to go off
Believing that we could run the town
better than the judge, we began hunting
up his pedigree, and in the course of a
week discovered that he was an ESCAPED
gentleman from State prison. He went
away saying that he owed US one, but as
he has eve years yet to serve we shan't
begin to worry for some time yet.
STILL HARPING.-Our jealous-minded
C contemporary is still giving himself away
in every issue Of his poor old senile sheet,
| and such subscribers as he has, take it for
the sole object Of seeing what he says
about US. The hair that broke the camel's
back was Our private graveyard. When
we went to an expense Of $50 to remove
the seven bodies to a nice little plat of
ground, and to identify each grave with
a nice head board, his gall bursted. He
had no private graveyard. He went out
to shoot so Nobody, but was knocked into
the sand and his gun con6scated. H
hasn't the nerve to even throw mud at
an Indian.
Poor old man! Poor old contempt
rary Your sun went down kerchunk
when the Kicker was established, and you
have been crawling in the moonlight ever
since. Blow away if it does your soul
good. 1t doesn't hurt US any, and but
for this escape valve you might take rat
poison or roll into the river.-Detroit Free
Press,
EXPLORER STANLEY's BRIDE.
Few young ladies in London are better
known than Mr.. Stanley's betrothed. Not
a festival of the year, from a flower show
or a "frst night" at the opera to a gar
den party at the Marlborough House, but
Miss Dorothy Tenants name appears in
the list of guests. She has acquired a
distinct fame in London for the quiet ele-