davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1890-04-23
HOWEVER, CARVE 1 MUST.

hens breast bone with my fork. Flop!
She rolled over and over like picka-
ninny in the watermelon season, and
the next instant was heels up on top of
loaf Of pound-cake.
/ felt my face turn scarlet as I res
cued her and put her back upon the
plate. Nor did recover my complexion
any when Alice asked with pretended
anxiety If had ever had the apoplexy,
and Ella jumped up and opened the
door and then brought me . palm-leaf
fan.
"Girls!" said Mrs. Bulldozer, in a re.
proving tone. u ttt&ta
'Girlsy' echoed Laura, appealingly.
l began again, but more gently.
Getting the hen safely harpooned, be-
gan to work away at one wing. but II
was OF no use; only made few gashes
across her ample stomach without find
ing any joint. Indeed, I don't believe
there was one in her whole anatomy.
She STATED around the platter like q
sled in . tobosgan chute. She couldn't
have gone easier II she had had'whsels
on bow and stern. Ny face grew 50
scorching hot that the temperature in
the room rose ten degrees in less tl.an
dve minutes. M. .tflf, 4ffl
Excuse me II put on my vail 90 ]
! won't sau." said Alice, innocently, while
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1890-04-23
BREviTiES.

WHISKY, good to preserve corpses,
ought never to turn you into a corpse
Talmage.
A TEMPERANCE society has been
formed at Berlin under the patronage
Of members of the imperial family and
the city aristocracy. Members are de.
scribed as knights of the Blue Cross. {"
The president is Colonel Won Knobels-
dori.
WHAT have the saloons ever done for
humanity? How many souls have they
saved? How many people have they
clothed, except the saloon-keepers fam.
lily? When we have strike the saloon
keeper often contributes more than the
dry-goods man, but he robs them OF
more. l never knew one of them to
give cent that he did not expect dol.
lar in return.-T. v. Powderly.
TWENTY-FIVE years ago knew every
man, woman and child in Peekskill. 1t
has been a study with me to mark boys
who started in every grade of life with
myself, to see what has become of them.
was up last fall and began. to count
them over, and it was all instructive ex-
hibit. Some of them became clerks,
merchants, manufacturers. lawyers, doc
tors. 1t is remarkable that every one
of those that drank is dead; not one liv'
ing of my age. Barring a few who were
taken off by sickness every one who
proved wreck and ruined his family
did it from rum and no other cause. -
Chauncey NJ. Depew.
PRINCIPAL BANCROFT, of Phillips
Academy, Andover, says in lions Her.
aid that Temperance principles are
making great progress in European
countries, that there is a marked in
crease in the number of guests at hotels
who do not take wine, and that tie
number of students whodo not use beef
is growing, whilo the number who de-
not use tobacco is already large. Every
where the cafe is gaining on the saloons
and in the cafe tea, coffee, chocolate o.
cream are more likely to be ordered
than wine or brandy, A public waite
supply is also being generally intro
duced, so that travellers now very seldom
have the excuse that they must drinl
wine, the water is so bad.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1890-04-23
SILL SCALP THIS HEM"

chicken-stuffing squirtsd from some.
where and struck me squarely in the
eye, completely deluging my coat and
shirt-bosom.
A shrek Of laughter went up all
around the table as I mopped of the
thickest of the stufflng with my hand
kerchief, but was SO mad then that I
would have carved that fowl II had
died in the attempt. My face was so
sizzling hot that the kissing OF the
sweat and chicken fat on it sounded
like tea kettle boiling over on red.
hot stove. But l kept on chopping and
gouging away with ell the fury of de-
spair.
Even then that internal hen would
not lie still, but kept jumping around
like frog with the nightmare. One
minute she would be wallowing around
in the napkin in my lap, and the next
in the middle of the table-cloth, kick
ing the contents Of the potato-dish in
every direction with her diabolical
drumsticks.
But at last succeeded. ] hacked of
q wing for Laura, broke the neck of for
Alice, and dug out one leg and gave it
1 to Ella, who said, as she took 1t:
'Thank you, Mr.. Smith, and the
Lord, too, that you finally succeeded in
killing that chicken before she got away
from you entirely and few out of the
window"
had carried my point, and all the
wealth of the Astors wouldn't have in
duced me to stay longer among those
| giggling girls.
hurriedly explained to them as left
the table that felt la grippe com ing on
and must 60 home Immediately and send
for the doctor. Alice said she thought
had better for had looked terribly
pale for more than an hour.
As l passed out through the dining
room door gave last, hasty glance at
the battle-scarred body of my conquered
antagonist. Her mangled frame looked
as If she had died in railroad wreck,
or been mobbed by gang Of nihilist
dynamiters; but as left the scene her
one remaining drumstick seemed to
point after me like a finger Of scorn.
| Ispent all the rest of that dreadful
day washing the chicken stuffing off my
best clothes, and thought had sue.
ceeded in removing every trace of my
struggle with that obstinate fowl. But
when had occasion to use my handker.
chief at church the next Sunday,
pulled out two dried oysters and a lot OF
Dread crumbs with it, and it looked as
3 if it had last been used hopping out a
. soap factory.
If the papers should happen, before
long, to have an account of a murder
committed in our village by young
man named Smith, it will be pretty safe
to infer that some fool has been asking
me how to carve chicken. And if
ever again see any of the Bulldozel
family heading for our front door
shall 60 down into the basement ant
hide behind the ash barrel.-O. E
Young, in Chicago Sun.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1890-04-23
AWFUL DEED OF A DRuNkARD.
How the Force of Habit Made Him Break
His Solemn Vows.

How the Force of Habit Made Him Break
His solemn Vows.
"The most terrible story I ever
heard" said Rev. c. Lane, in a sermon
preached last Sunday at Trinity Church.
twas told me by man addicted to
drink, and it but serves to illustrate
with what terrible letters the demon Of
drink can bind man.
''The fellow approached me and said
I am ashamed to tell the story am go
ing to, as it reflects on my manhood.
but want you to know to what depths
of infamy the force OF habit will drag
one
"'My family had been begging me to
give up drinking, and finally promised
my dear old mother on her death-bed. I
swore to her that would never drink
again, and to make the oath the more
binding crept into the parlor in the
still watches Of the night, when the
watchers were in another room, and.
kneeling beside her coffin, renewed
my oath with my hand placed upon that
marble brow cold in death.
In less than week was as drunk
A. . hog. Es2
"'Some time afterward my littls
daughter was taken sick. She was sink.
ing rapidly and begged me to give up
drinking. promised her that would,
and in order to make my promise the
more sacred / took the wasted little
hand in mine and promised her that nc
drink should pass my lips unless it came
through that hand, so dear to me. With
q sweet smile she passed over the river
and thought was saved.
"'She was laid out in the parlOr, the
blinds were darkened and the doors
shut That night the terrible craving
for whisky came over my soul. Securing
a wine glass and flask of whisky,
sought the death chamber. poured
the glass full Of whisky and unlocked
the icy fingers. / closed them over thu
glass, and, raising it to my lips,
drained it to the very dregs. reclasped
the cold hands and silently left the room
and may God. have mercy On my soul.
Atlanta (Ga.) Journal.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1890-04-23

begins to burn and my spinal marrow
to grow freezing cold, and l feel like
rushing to my own room and crawling
under the bed.
My male friends often urge me to
''brace up" and tell me, as an induce
ment toward such proceeding, that
''my mother was woman" As If ]
were to blame for that when ! was not
even consulted in the matter!
How I ever got over my difidence
enough to fall in love with Laura Bull
dozer don't know. Perhaps 1t was ow-
ing to the oft-repeated advice just men.
toned, and may be it was because she
and her mother developed strong and
sudden interest in our family and be.
came frequent callers. But from what
ever cause it came about, it certainly
happened; and at last actually gained
sufficient courage to stay in the room
while they were there, and even to talk
Q little. And now am coming to my
adventure with that diabolical chicken.
Mrs. Bulldozer invited me to family
dinner at her house on Christmas day,
and in an evil hour accepted the invi.
tation. repented Of my rashness a
thousand times before the fatal day
came, but, seeing no reasonable way out
Of the scrape and remembering Laura's
lovely eyes, went.
was much relieved by finding that I
was the only guest, but things were un-
comfor table enough for bashful youth
even then. The family consisted Of
Mrs. Bulldozer. who was widow, and
her three daughters, Laura, neat, nice,
nineteen, and the object of my especial
admiration, Alice, aged fifteen, che
wickedest piece Of sauce and sarcasm 1t
was ever my misfortune to meet, and
Ella, the twelve-year-old olive-branch,
who WAS simply Peck's bad boy in petit.
coats.
Twill pass over all the preliminary
fortunes that l endured and hasten on to
that chicken. 1t is enough to say that
at last, after undergoing indescribable
tormenss, l found myself seated at the
dinner table between Laura and the
enfdnt terrible, with Mrs. Bulldozer and
Alice opposite. Then, to my unspeaka
BILE horror, found that, as was the
only gentleman present, was expected
to do the honors Of the table, and carve
the mammoth bird that was lying ir
state on huge platter in front Of me
OF course was aware, in general way
that it must have skeleton, and thai
the parts of it must necessarily articu
late somewhere, but beyond that knew
just as much Of the physical structure
Of an angel.
All my feeble protestations were use
less, however; carve I must. Acarving
knife as big and formidable-looking q.
pirates cutlass was thrust into my un
willing hand, but verify believe tina
the internal thing wouldn't have Gu
butter. began the attack. while Mrs
Bulldozer was glorying in the chickens
really magnificent proportions, ant
telling me that it was raised by black
smith of her acquaintance outin the coun
try. And, judging from the way it Gu
up, he must have fed it on old hors,
nails and iron scraps all its life.
Ibid not have the slightest idea wher,
to begin, but clutched my sabre
little tighter, and make iab at tn,
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1890-04-23

Yeast-Do you say grace at The table
at your clearinghouse?
Crimsonbesk-Oh, yes.
Before or after eating?"
"Before, of course"
"Why Of course?"
"Well, II we waited until the close of
the meal no one would be willing to
give thanks."-Yonkers Statesman.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1890-04-23
Like . sphere.

Miss Sharp-Your jokes, sir, always
put me in mind of ssphere.
WQuld-be- Humorist-Of q sphere?
And why SO, pray?
Miss Sharp-They never have any
point.-St. Louis Magazine.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1890-04-23
A Driving Businesc.

II understand you arc prOsperins.
Tom. -AA.>
"Yes, l am doing driving business.
"What is it?"
Stunning dray."-Aroola Record.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1890-04-23
Transmutation OF Metals.

"Where is you hired now, Matildyf"
Use working now for de most 'specta-
BILE, heightened folks in Austin. Dey
am we'll fixed, Shore"
"Has dey got silberware, and sich?"
II should say SO. Dey has SLIDER tin
pans, and de copper biler in de kitchen
am pure gold."-Texas Siftings.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1890-04-23
SMITHS CONFESSION.
How He Carved Q Chicken Under
'DihacultieA nQe

eGUESS / am
somewhat BASH
full, il not more.
Certainly / had
rather face .
W lid Rocky
Mountain griz.
ely t h Q n a
strange woman
any day. And
when it happens
to be a pretty
young lady-oh,
dear! Though ]
am nearly six
feet long, when
ever l see one
approaching the
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1890-04-23
I. 6. THORNTON I Bho., Agents.
IIVlDl =; -; ;' . CT; Is: :;

least amsng The wonders Of inventive pro-
gress 10 . method and system Of work that
can be performed oil over the country with.
out separating the workers from their homes.
Pay liberal; any one can DO the work; eithe,
sex, young Or old; NO special ability 10 r..
CURED. Capital not needed; you are start.
ed free. Cut this out and return TO " and
We will send you free, something Of great
value and importance to you, that will start
you In business, which viii bring you In
mere money right away, than anything else
In the world. Grand sut6t fres. Address
TauE 1 Co., Augusta, Maine.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1890-01-07
.Opzn nARoLINA FARMERS STATE ALLIANCE.

soRTH CAROLINA FARMERS STATE ALLIANCE
president-EIias Carr, Old Sparta, NC
Vice-Pres;dent-A. H. Hayes, Bird
'0sn3 ssoratary-L. L. Polk, Raleigh, n. G.
Treasurer-J. D. Allen, Falls, N. @.
Lecturer-Thos. B. Long, Longs, N. @.
Assistant Locturer-R. B. Hunter, Char
lotte, N. G. 80
Chaplain. J. Scott, AlfOrdsville,
NC.
Door Keeper-w. H. Tomlinson, Fay
etteville, n. Q.
Assistant Door Keeper-H. E. King,
Peanut, n G.
sergeant-at-Arms-J. S. Holt, Chalk
Level, N. G.
State Business Agent-W. H. Worth,
Raleigh, N. G.
Trustee Business Agency Fund-W. A
Graham, Machpelah, N. G.
ExEoUTIVE COMMITTEE OF THE NORTH CARO-
LIMA FARMERS STATE ALLIANCE.
S. B. Alexander, Chariot e, N. c.,
Chair nan; J. NJ. Mewborne, Kinston N
C.;J. S. johnston, Rufin, n. @.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1890-01-07
NSTITUT TION.
DECLARATION OF PURPOSES.

WHEREAS, The general condition of
our country imperatively demands
unity of action on the part of the
laboring classes, reformation in econ
omy, and the dissemination of princi-
pies best calculated to encourage and
foster agricultural and mechanical
pursuits, encouraging the toiling
masses-leading them in the road to
prosperity and providing a just and
fair remuneration for labor, a just ex-
change for our commodities and the
best means of securing to the labor
ing classes the greatest amount of
good; we hold to the principle that all
monopolies are dangerous to the best
interests of our country, tending to en-
slave free people and subvert and
finally overthrow the great princip iples
purchased to the fathers of American
liberty. We therefore adopt the fol
lowing as our declaration of prin-
ciples:
l. To labor for the education of
the agricultural classes in the science
OF economical government, in a strict
~ bipartisan spirit, and to bring
about more perfect union of said
classes.
2. That we demand equal rights to
all and special favors to none.
3. To indorse the motto " In things
essential, unity; and in all things,
charity"
4. To develop a better state men.
tally, morally, socially and financially.
5. To constantly strive to secure en-.
tire harmony and good will to all
mankind and brotherly love among
ourselves.
6. To suppress personal, local, sec.
tional and national prejudices; all un.
healthful rivalry and all selfish ambi.
ton.
Z. The brightest jewels which it
gamers are the tears of the widows
and orphans, and its imperative com.
mands are to visit the homes where
lacerated hearts are bleeding; to as,
suage the suferings of brother or
sister; bury the dead, care for the
widows and educate the orphans; to
exercise charity toward offenders: to
construe words and deeds in their
most favorable light, granting honesty
OF purpose and good intentions to
others, and to protect the principles
OF the Farmers Alliance and Indus
trial Union until death. Its laws
are reason and equity, its cardinal
doctrines inspire purity of thought
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1890-01-07
ARTICLE ".
LEGISLATIVE DEPARTMENT.

Sec. l. 1t shall be the duty of the
legislative department to make laws,
rules and regulations governing its
meetings and usages.
Sec. 2. The supreme council shall
be composed of the officers of the
organization and delegates from the
various State organizations elected
by the States upon such basis of rep
resentation as the supreme council
may prescribe. It shall be the duty
of the supreme council to adopt rules
governing such representation: Pro
Vided, That the delegates to the
supreme council shall be not less than
twenty one years of age; and the basis
of representation shall not allow more
than two delegates from each State
and one additional delegate for each
10000 active members or majority
fraction thereof Active members
under this section are such members
only as have paid the regular yearly
dues of five cents each.
Sec. 3. The supreme council shall
elect at each regular annual session
the following officers, who shall hold
Office until their successors are elected
and qualified: A president, a vice.
president, a lecturer, a secretary, and
a treasurer.
4. The president shall be presiding
officer Of the supreme council and
the official head of the executive de-
partment.
Sec. 5. The supreme council shall
provide laws and rules prescribing the
powers, duties and methods of the
officers, and may limit the term of
Office fix salaries, etc.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1890-01-07
STATUTORY LAWS.

Section l. The basis of representa-
ton of the State organizations in the
Supreme Council shall be as follows:
Two delegatesfrom each State and one
additional delegate for each twenty
thousand active members or majority
fraction thereof.
Sec. 2. Delegates to the Supreme
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1890-01-07
-,r NATIONAL FARMERS AL
J ~ LANCE AND INDUSTRIAL
UNION.


D-osident L. L. Polk, Raleigh, N @.
T1iicoeo-President-B. Fl. Glover, Cain
OriSso, riSSascoI,etarv-J. II. Turner, La Grange,
UgG. gTGr.sSaSurer-W. H. Hickman, Puxico,
A-SeC -TSeeCctnrer-Ben Terrell, Texas,
EXECUTIVE BOARD.
W Macune, Washington, D. G.
GIonzo Wardall, Huron, South Dakota.
7 F Tillman, Palmetto, Tennessee.
JUDICIARY.
r c. Patty, Macon, Mississippi.
Isaac McCracken, Ozone, Arkansas.
Evan Jones, Dublin, Texas.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1890-01-07
ARTICLE TX.
STATE BODIES.

Section /. A State organization
may be chartered by the president in
any State having as many as seven
county organizations, provided that
any State containing less than seven
counties may be chartered when one
third of its territory is organized.
Sec. 2. 1t shall be the duty of the
president to issue a charter to any
State organization qualified under
section one of this article, when they
shall file evidence that they have, first,
adopted constitution that does not
conflict with this constitution; second,
that they adopt the secret work and
acknowledge the supremacy of the
National Farmers A lliance and In
dustrial Union.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1890-01-07
PROCEEDINGS
Of the Annual Session of the Farmers
" and Laborers' Union.
FOURTH DAY.

ST.. LOUIS, No, Dec. 7, 1889.
Meeting called to order at $50 a.
NJ, President Jones in the chair.
Minutes of third days session read
and approved.
Committee on constitution reported
amendments, which were taken up
by sections, discussed and passed,
then adopted as whole, as follows:
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1890-01-07
ARTICLE Xl.
AMENDMENTS.

Section l. This constitution cannot
be altered or amended, except upon
a written resolution clearly setting
forth the changes or additions to be
made, which must be read in open ses-
sion on at least two separate days and
adopted by two-thirds majority.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1890-01-07
ARTICLE V.
EXECUTIVE DEPARTMENT.

Sec. l. The president shall be the
chief executive officer; he shall have
power to direct and instruct all exc
cutive officers and all executive work
in this department subject to the laws
and regulations made by the supreme
council.
Sec. q. The president shall have
authority to interpret and construe
the meaning of the laws of the order
by official rulings, and such rulings
shall have the force and effect of laws
and be promptly presented to the ju-
dietary department for consideration,
and if the judiciary approve the rul-
ing it shall then be the final construc-
tion of the law; but should the judi
ciary refuse to concur in a ruling,
then and in that case such ruling shall
be held in allegiance until the next
meeting OF the supreme council, which
shall decide the matter.
Sec. 3. The president shall be the
custodian of the secret work, and shall
provide for its exemplifcation and
dissemination. He shall be authorized
to issue special dispensations and held
responsible for the same, all of which
shall be matters of record.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1890-01-07
ARTLCLEI.
NAME AND POWERS.

Sec. /. This organization shall be
known as the National Farmers Alli-
ance and Industrial Union.
Sec. 2 This organization possesses
and shall exercise such powers as are
delegated to it by charter from the
Government of the United States,
and such further powers as are herein
expressed.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1890-01-07

The statutory laws were taken up,
and after discussion and amendment,
were adopted, as follows:
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1890-01-07
ARTICLE x.
RESERVATION OF POWERS.

Section l. All rights and powers
not herein expressly delegated are re-
served to the State organizations
severally.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1890-01-07
ARTICLE VIII.

Sec. l. No person shall be admitted
as a mem Der of this order except o
white person, over sixteen years OF
age a believer in the existence of a
Supreme Being, has resided in the
State more than six months, and is
either: First, a farmer or a farm
laborer; second, a mechanic, country
preacher, a country school teacher, or
a country doctor; third, an editor of a
strictly agricultural paper.
Provided, That each State and Ter
ritory shall have the right to prescribe
the eligibility of applicants for mem.
bership in reference to color, within
the limits of the same. Provided
further, That none but white men
shall be elected as delegates to the
supreme council.
Sec. 2. It shall be the duty of the
supreme council to enact a uniform
eligibility clause for the various State
constitutions, also to enact laws defn-
ing the eligibility of persons of mixed
or unusual occupations or residence,
subject to all the limitations of this
article
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1890-01-07
ARTICLE II.
DIVISION OF POWERS.

Sec. /. The powers of this organi-
zation shall be divided into three
branches, to wit: A Legislative, an
executive and a judicial department.
Sec. 2 The legislative department
shall be supreme in authority, and its
sessions shall be known as the Su-
preme Council of the order.
Sec. 3. The executive and judicial
departments shall be of equal power
and authority, and subordinate only
to the legislative.
ARTICLE III.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1890-01-07
ARTICLE VI.
JUDICIARY.

Section l. The judiciary depart
ment shall be composed of three
judges, one of whom shall after the
first year be elected annually by the
supreme council. Three judges shall
be elected the first year, Que Of whom
shall be for term of one year, one
for two, and one for three.
Sec. 2. The regular term of Office
for the judges of the judiciary de-
partment shall be three years.
Sec. 3. No person shall be eligible
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1890-01-07

and life, it's intention is, "On earth,
peace, and good will to man"
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1890-01-07
ARTICLE III.
MEETINGS.

Sec. l. The regular annual meeting
of the supreme council shall be on the
first Tuesday of December of each
year, and at such place as may be de-
termined by majority vote of the
body.
ARTICLEIV.