The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-11-01
sUNFLowER SKINNER.

-AAs " AAASo !" AAoAy 49, ~-~
Tuesday.
Senator Ingalls, was born four days
after Christmas
Two years ago Kansas cast $4,000 votes
on clear, bright day.
So many men bet hats on elections who
wear their shoes without socks.
The word Unanimous is beginning to
look strange already in Kansas.
Over in Fort Scott it looks more like "the
child is Father of the man" every day.
The president ought to proclaim Thanks
giving day, on the 5th of November this
year.
John Anderson has grown heavier the
last year, especially in the regions OF the
heart.
The Mckinley bill would probably give
the price of corn a little boost II 1t could
reach it.
Father Richardson will be the only can
didate for governor who will sleep Tues
day night.
The Leavenworth Times says most of
the colored men of that city will vote for
Robinson
Jerry Simpson has never been in Wash
ington. You can apply the present and
future tense.
An algebraic statement: Peoples party
minus Mrs. Lease, is less than Mrs. Lease
minus the Peoples party.
Undoubtedly all the opposition TO the
ninety day amendment has developed out
side Of Topeka eating houses.
A county central committee which had
been soliciting campaign funds recently
receipted lone bushei of potatoes"
If Kate Field was running against In
gals, there would be two or three people
in Atchison who would vote for her.
A good many men who are looking
troubled and worried over the result of
the election, have jack-knife or an oyster
supper up.
1t has been discovered that Pharaoh
drank beer. This will make Bernard
Kelley feel warmer towards Moses than
he has ever felt before.
The sparkling humorist of the Topeka
Capital says: The only possible danger
now is that the Republicans will neglect
voting because of over confidence.
The mixed condition of the Kansas news
papers now is nothing compared to the
complication there will be when they come
to claim the credit after the election.
Farmer Funston's foghorn voice is get
ting wheezy. He is reported to have said
that plumb is a nasty, dirty coward, and
was afraid of the uprising of the people Of
this state"
Denying the Catholic disposal of sui
cides, it will be terrible tax upon the un-
ending and unexceptional bliss of heaven,
if Charles Robinson should be elected
next Tuesday.
Tom Ryan's worthless son has turned
up again. 1t is very probable that he
wouldn't be so worthless now if our min
lister to Mexico had turned him up more
himself, years ago.
d. r. Anthony is getting ready to make
another flop. A great many Leavenworth
people must look with sorrow upon the
Liiliputians' treatment of CULVER, be-
cause it is impracticable.
''Silver is the poor mans money" says
Luther ChalIis, the manager of the Atchi-
son five cent fare horse cars. 1t is not
often that Mr. Challis commingles his dual
functions as railroad manager and editor.
Two years ago Humphreys vote in the
state was 1854, Martins 107, 4S0, the
Union Labor vote 81, S37, and the Prohibi-
ton vote 6.439 This was in presidential
year In 1886 John A Martins vote for
governor was 149, 4l3 Thomas Moonlight's
lis, 200. and the Prohibition vote for gov
ernor sos. In 1884 John A. Martin car
ried the state by vote of 146,777 against
los, 2S4 cast for Click and $3.50 for Phillips,
the Prohibition candidate.
do you believe in the inspiration of the
bible?" asked Methodist brother of Jerry
Simpson at a meeting at Halstead, the
other night. 81 do, answered Jerry. do
you believe in the divinity of Christi" was
the next question 'Most assuredly do,
was the reply. Have you ever made light
of Christ or spoken of him in disrespect
full manner as has been reported?" Never
in my life" responded Jerry, and the Ac-
cusing Spirit that few up to Heavens
chancery with the lie, blushed, as she gave
it in. and the Recording Angel, as she
wrote it down, dipped his pen afresh and
marked it with great black dash.
A young Cherryvale editor went out to
report party the other evening where the
home had been blessed with a new baby.
by his best girl he met the
hostess at the door, and after the usual
salutation asked after the baby's health.
The lady who was quite deaf and was
suffering from the grip, thought that he
was asking about her cold, told him that
she usually had one every winter, but this
was the worst that she had ever had; kept
her awake at nights good deal at first
and confined her to her bed Then motto
ing that the scribe was getting pale and
nervous she said that she could tell by his
looks that he was going to have one just
like hers and asked him to go in and sit
down. The paper was out as usual the
next issue, but the local editor has quit
about babies.