Dodge City times., 1890-04-24
WIT AND HUMOR.
The peal Of banana has . falling In
Election. Yonkers Gdzette.


The peal Of banana has falling in
Aection.-Tonksrs Gdzette.
A cloud upon . real-estate title does
not always have silver lining.-Hutch-
inson Nssos.
II . girl knows she is pretty it is not
because any other girl told her So
Atchison Globe.
The rejected suitor probably con-
siders his girl notify but nice-Bing-
hampton Leader.
An official organ is one that has an
authorized crank to turn it.-Ness
Orleans Rcayxne.
Gentlemen who wind their watches
ut night are apt to wind them up tight.
Bottom Transcript.
When . man ID under cloud the sill
yer lining il generally on the other
side.-Philcdelphio Press.
From the fruit preserver we get our
jams and from the distiller our jim
jams.-Boston Courier.
Ardent Suitor-'Do you love me-
darling?" Modern glrl-.I don't know.
How much are you worth?'-Somer-
Cille Journal.
Tomlet-I see that they are making
cloth out of glass" Boblet-''For
opera dresses and the ballet, imagine. :"
IN. Y. Herald.
Teacher-''Tommy. how is the earth
divided?" Tommy-"Between them
that's got it and them that wants it. "
zsrre Haute Express.
A squeeze in the stock market may
be bear hug or it may be the result
of getting entangled in bull rushes.-
BinghamtOn Republican.
ut seems impossible to get away
from them." said Il Wall street sufferer
who saw a shark while sojourning in
Florida. Washington Post.
She-"I hear poor Charley Good
enough has shot himself. Did he lose
his money!" He-'No. He married
a woman with a mission. Life.
Duke-"Be mine. Miriam. lay all
my titles at thy feet" Miriam-"Go
slow, Duke. l don't care for titles.
Let's see your deeds. IN T. Sun.
Ted-''Why don't you take your girl
skating?" Ned-"She doesn't know
how" Ted-Lucky fellow! That's
where all the fun comes in. Life.
WHO shall set q limit to the influ-
ence of human being?" queries the
philosopher. The human beings Office
boy, of course. SonlerUillc Journal
Brown-"Why do they call Prof.
Quay the electric pianist?" Smith
20, 1 suppose because he has such
shocking execution. Rome Sentinel.
An exchange states: "a late census
of France embraced 10000. 600 women
all told" Of course they did; women
never could keep q ret."-Philalel-
phia Press.
There's nothing very doleful about
it; still when maiden has sifted q kiss
through an incipient mustache she is
apt to get down in the mouth. ."-Phila-
delphia Press.
"Do you want the earth?" inquired
the naughty hotel clerk of meekly com.
planning guest. '.No." was the reply;
'.vou can keep 1t awhile longer till
ask you for Washington Post.
Ten dollars for that parrot? Why.
it's simply monstrous!" But. sir,
please to observe that he speaks two
languages. What are they ?" why,
English and-his native tongue.
Judge.
He Cat midnight)-''Funny custom
the Chinese have. The hostess is ex.
pected to notify the caller when it is
time to CO." She with q sigh)-But
we are in America. you know" w."-Tsrr<
Hdute Express.
Mr.. Anger Cooking over editors
shoulder as he clips an article from an
exchange)-'.Does that require much
intellect" Editor-.None whatever;
why, l believe even you could do it,
Munsey's Weekly.
Turner-"That Sampson Is a mean
man" Drawly-"Yaws, by Jove;
he said the othaw night that 1 wemind-
ed him OF Bawnum's What-Is It" But
I will say of him he's as honest as the
day is longtime.
A woman writer says: "Women
want comfort" And yet. offer
woman the choice between a ton Of
coal and pair of French heel shoes
and which do you suppose she will
take?-7eras Syf7ings.
Trovers Gn hat store)-"I wish you
would charge me for this hat. Clerk
"But we don't know you, sir" Trovers
all the more reason. then. why
you should be willing to charge it,
Cl0thier and Furnisher.
Hello, Biggs. where yer going 50
early with that big market basket?"
ION = post-prandial excursion. old
man." 'On what?" :Post-prandial
going after dinner. you
know. w."-B0ston Transcript.
Judge Blank is quite a book col.
lector. you know" ''Well, what of it?"
He found a tattered copy of . rare
book the other day and the first thing
he did was to have 1t bound over to
keep the pieces. IN T. Herald.
Four Sleepless Years.