Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1890-07-31
THEY MADE HIN TIRED.
Generosity of the Iowa Farmers.
All Sorts OF Stones and Things Given
TO the Poor. Unoffending Visitor
to Be Carried to Chicago as
MementOes and Paper
Weights.

1t Is necessary to take the elevator when
visiting my opinion of the farmer of west
ern lowa-my opinion of him is so exalt-
ed A large-hearted mortal is the farmer
OF western Iowa. circulated III this part
OF the country recently and met him in
large quantities and under various con-
dltlons. If variety is really the spice
OF life the Iowa farmer is a pretty spicv
sort of person. OF late he may be most
frequently met while studying and strug-
CLING with the intricacies of the original
package law-or rather the original Jag
gage law, the title under which it is best
known in sections where it is in operation
But | am depressing. 1t is of natural gen
ercslty OF the western Iowa farmer that
wish to write.
Generosity strikes in on men in multi.
plicity of ways. 1t attacks Mr.. Farmer Of
Iowa In a peculiar but not fatal manner
Mr.. Farmer invariably has pile OF
archaeological specimens in his front yard.
He thinks the world of them, but he is
willing that you should have a few
After he has told you all about the
crops that will fail to materializt
next fall sndthe weather we
have had or are likely to have. he springs
his fossil collection on you. Naturally, as
in politeness bound, you admire the col
lection and then you are lost. He then
selects seventy or eighty pounds of aerolite
and other rocky looking objects whose
names end with lite, but aren't a nit so.
These he hands you, telling you to take
them back to Chicago to remember him by
when you are using them as paper and
sash weights.
The first archaic load which was donated
to me | carefully carried three miles to nv
headquarters, but after had accumulated
| three or four tons of petrifactions, ossifca
tons and other things, even heavier and
harder than their names were to pronounce
| concluded to dissemble bit. The next
time that farmer presented nue. with a
fifty-pound gneissoid, which the agricul-
turlst said was quartz agate that had
been found in Decatur County, | thank
ed him with assumed cordiality and trudg.
ed along with my finty load But | didn' I
go far with it. At the next farm house
hat | came to | stealthily placed the
| quartz agate with the fossilifer-
Gus and rocky collection, in the front yard
| W just sneaking away when the far
mer who owned the place spied me. Hav-
| ing been introduced to him before | was
recognized, there was no escape, so we
talked about corn. hailstones, cherries, the
worlds fair and the onion crop
and then he branched off to strange
rock formations. He pointed
out in his pile of curiosities sandstones in
the shape of human hands, caulifowers,
pocket TASKS and collar buttons He told
me of glyptic geode that he had found
in load of stone that he had bought in
Audubon county, and then he offered me a
few trihes from his front yard archaic col
lection. Among them was the gneissit
gem that | had just deposited there This
farmer didn't call it ''quartz agate" but
he appeared to prize it very highly.
think he said it was a vitrious crystal and
claimed that it had fallen from the sky
On his brother farm in Minnesota At
any rate, took it along with me again,
together with young carload of other
building material. | groaned and stag
gered under the weight of the stony souve-
Mrs until | reached another farm house,
when, looking around and seeing no one,
| dumped my burden on to little noun.
tain of smaller objects that l found &C.
cupying the usual place of honor il
| the front yard. | was about to escape
when | heard a voice from behind cluml
of bushes. The voice belonged to the far.
mer who owned the place, and he wanted
to know what l was doing. There was a
threatening jar to his voice that was not
reassuring and quickly explained that,
being something of geologist, I was full
of admiration for his wonderful collee-
ton of odd stones, minerals. methods
and archaodcidari This pleased him i'm
monsely and he was satisfied In fact he
opened his heart, and when | left his
presence a -four sack full of his precious
garden ornaments was balanced on my
shoulder. [ made no further attempt
to lose the gifts but took them to my
headquarters, where buried them deep
under the soil. Yet fear they will some
time be discovered and shipped here to me
by express.