The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1890-11-04
NAUTICAL HGMOR.
Some Eon Mots Which Are Told OF the
Crack SsTsrsmen.

crack tsirstnen.
AS a class, professional oarsmen are
the most ''amoosing critters" in the
sport ng line. OF list OF some twenty.
five professional "seat sliders' at least
twenty are characters" OF the latter
numLer majority are looked upon as
born WITS Jack Largan, the Eng ish
sculler, who beat Pearce and half a
doz other era ks of the British Isles
and who is now living in Harlem, is con-
sidered one of the funniest men in the
business. His jokes are known to every
amateur on the Harlem, and the dry
way with which he makes light of .
serious question has repeatedly placed
him in hot water.
One of the best stories about Largan
not gene ally known was told to re-
rter the other day. 1t seems that
Largan saved a number of persons from
drowning N the Thames at various
times before he won a championship at
the souls. Some of his friends en-
couraged him in seek ng medal from
the humane SCSety. He made applica-
ton, but because he lacked the neces-
sary influence his ella ms were not rec
Usni1ed- After that he turned very
sour on the Humane crowd, as he put
1t. One Saturday afternoon Largan was
out on the Thames in a boat much like
our American or VIII tehall boat Arrow
boat containing three men which was
near him caps. zed, and before Largan
reached the scene one of the men was
drowned. Largan saved the other two
and hauled them into his boat. When
the rescued found courage to talk one
of them said to Largan that he was a
brave BrIton and ought to be given
medal by the Humane Society.
Its no CO." said Largan. They
can't try any of their flabbergast on me.
I've been and tried EN-"
Nonsense. man." replied one of the
survivors, you'll get a reward sure.
Why, just see what you have donew and
the speaker went into glowing account
of the brave rescue. Largan sat silently
throughout, his bubble of Importance
getting larger each second as the speaker
progressed, until finally he began to
think that perhaps he had won a clear
right to the medal. The speaker con-
cluded: "Yes, you are bound to get that
medal. The man who was lost was our
boatnan, this gentleman here is a
bobby and I'm the secretary Of the
Humane Society"
The speaker had hardly finished than
Largan dropped the oars with which he
was rowing, jumped to his feet, swore
two or three times, and finally said:
$50 We saved bobby and one Of
these Humane people, eh? The Lord
forgive me; what have 1 done-what
have done?"
Another yarn about Largan tells how
the London club houses. There was a
little Old Scotch woman in charge of the
yiands. She was as selfish as a six
months-old infant. There was a fine
piece of roast beef on the table, and she
started in to carve 1t for Largan and
sue paper fashion, SO thln N that
one could almost read a newspa-
per through each slice. Largan kept
his eye on her for time, and after she
had cut three or four tissue pieces he
said: Look out, ma'sm, look out the
window behind you is open and some of
that beef may blow into my plate"
The honest Scotch woman failed to
understand why every body within ear
shot of Largan's remark laughed. When
he saw that his ration was not to be in
creased Largan shouted again at the lit
tie woman: May something divine
give your arm strength, missus, to cut a
decent piece of beef for a workingman."
Ned Hanlan, too is funny man. The
night of the day that he first defeated
Trickett in England he was invited to q
club dinner. Champagne flowed like
water, and as the Canadian had pulled
off the good thing he felt justified in go
ing in for a little pleasure. He became
muddled in due time, and while in that
state was called on by the four hundred
or five hundred club men present for .
speech. Now, Hanlan had never adj
dressed an audience before in his life,
and he objected, but it was no use there,
and half dozen of his admirers hauled
him to his feet He stood up, dazed and
confused. with the champagne rushing
TO his very brain. glanced at the small
army Of faces that met his eyes, tried to
stand erect and finally blurted out as
his maiden speech: "You gentleman
know your business. / also know mine.
Good night"-N. Y. Mail and Express.
The Pointer and the Rat