The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-05-29


There's change whereer look,
The place where change, aye, cometh NOT
Is-ln my pocketbook.
West Shore.
Fond mother (anxiously)-My DEAR you al
ways snub young Mr. Rich so. l don't see why
you won't let him talk to you.
Maude (calmly)-It's very simple; for the
same reason that don't wear earrings. l will
not have my ears bored.-Boston Post.
Mas. GAzzAM-Fred, is Mr.. SniveIy christian
GaZZam-O, yes.
How do you know"
well, I've heard him talk through the tele
phone every day for six months without the
assistance of profanity. Bostonidn.
LANpLcRD-Low rent, splendid locality, and
all the modern Improvements
Flat Hunter-Very good. Let me see, are
there any children in the house."
Landlord Grritably)-I said, madam, that we
had nothing but modern improvements
can Grocer.
MANAGING EDITOR what's this. Mr. Scooper?
len dollars for magnlfylng glass? l sent you
to the beach to write up the ladies' bathing
dresses-not to study natural history.
Reporter know it sir; but had to get the
magnifying glass to see the bathing dresses
Laurence american.
HIS Stock IN TRADE-Jones delightfully."-
Brownson's friends are all so bright
snapperly dryly)-Yes. He can't afford to
have any others.
Jones-What do you mean?
Snapperly-Why, he makes jokes for daily
paper.-Boston Post.
THE LAw.-"Hold on. my friend, don't shoot;
I'm Judge"
WAL, s'posin' We ares Judges amt no more
count than de law is nowadays. Ye can't hang
Teller, We can't 'lectrify him, an my lawyer
kin appeal s fast as you kin sentence. Shell
outl"--Hdrper'S Weekly
Mr.. CHUGwATER (readng his morning news
paper)-Horrible! Over five hundred thousand
lives lost,
Tt..-
Mr. ugwater-Burnipg of hotel in st.
Louis. Some more coffee, if you please,
Samantha-Ch Chicago Herald.
FARMER TO clerk(-what time do you have
dinner?
Clerk-You can get dinner any time you
wish il.
Farmer-Sakes alive, don't have dinner lust
to suit my fancy; some of these other folks
may want it at some other time.-The Jester.
McFMGLE had taken the landlady's daughter,
chaperoned by her mother, to the circus. They
were watching the tumblers, who, leaping from
the spring board, turned one or two somersaults
over an elephant.
Wonderful. eh?'' remarked McFingle.
Yes replied the old lady, land do you
know they remind me of your"
''Of me. Why I'm no athlete"
mo, " was the reply, but you do jump your
board so easily."-Ld,crence american.
HIS NEW DonGE.-Housewfe- oni You
can't get anything here. This is no harbor for
tramps.
Hungry McCluskey drawing himself up)-
Madam, / am no tramp. am a census enumer-
ator, an if yer don't gimme somethin' ter
stop ther cravins of my stummick the law'll be
on yer. Thanks. Departing with a roast
chicken: Smotherin' Jacob, amt it great go.
I'll keep the scheme dark or the rest o. the
fellersl u git onto it.-Ld,crence american.
A New YORK DRUGGIST, who spent the winter
in Texas town for his health, was asked by
the genial clerk of the hotel:
stranger what might your business be?'s
81 am pharmacist"
"a what did did you say?'
"a pharmacist"
30 yes, pharmacist. Well, you can buy as
good farming lands in this neighborhood as you
can find in Texas. You have struck the right
locality, stranger, if you want to farm. III
take you out this afternoon ins my buggy and
show you one I've got to sell"-TeIas Strings.