St. Landry democrat., 1890-09-06
WIT AND HUMOR.

Jaggs-' Pawnbroker s are ornery cusses"
Baggs-"Yes; but you have to put up
with them. '-Er.
When the face of the small boy has set
look it is evidence that mischief is about to
be Matched En-.
Something attractive in the way Of a
cigarette pretty girls mouth
Rochester Post-KIpress.
Courtesy DOESN'T cost much. but it pays
q mighty big interest on the Investment
american Commercial Traueler.
If women were elected to our legisla-
lures there would be no scarcity of candi-
dates for speaker.-Kearney Enterprise.
We have at last solved the mystery why
ailors put buttons on the cuffs of coat
sleeves. 1t is to tear out overcoat Innings
and get themselves job-Er.
Minister-'So YOU saw some boys fish
ing on the Sabbath, my boy Did you do
anything to discourage them?' Small
Boy-'Yes, sir, stole their bait"
81 don't see how Jones has ever made
such success said one of his friends to
another ''He never says anything ="
"May be that's the reason" was the reply.
Caller-"Hss your daughters married
life so far proved happy one, Mrs. YER
non2' Mrs. Vernon-"Very. Her hus,
band, you know, is travelling sale sman.
-Epoch.
If q man wants his wife to believe that
he is genius his wisest plan is to persuade
her of it before he gets married He will
generally find it easier then.-SomerglNe
Journal,
Before marriage, when there is plenty
of love, they make it, and after marriag ,,
when little of the ante nuptial folly
would be desirable, they cease to make it..
-Bsnghampton Herald.
Hinks-"They tell ms there was fire
down to your girls house this morning "
| Gibbs (walking with limp)-That so
Hadn't heard of it. knew there was one
last night. "-Kearneu Enterprise.
Newwed-''Do you ever give your wife
any jewelry?" OIdwed-''I gave her a
piece of jewelry once, and I've regretted it
ever since" Newwed-"What was it p
Ol&wed-"A wedding ring" -EDoch.
Paddy's description of a fiddle is as fol-
| lows: cit was the shape of a turkey and
he SIZE of goose he turned it over on
its back and rubbed it's belly with stick,
and och st. Patrick how it did squale -
Two little boys were at the circus look
ing at the elephant. After the elder boy
| had given the animal several oranges and
nuts, the little fellow cried out, ooh, pa,
can't give the other tail something. too2"
B-own-"You show a good deal of boy
| ish enthusiasm over your coming trip to
Europe. Why, you've crossed several
times before, haven't your" Robinson
Yes, but this is my first trip without nv
wife. "-Epoch.
It is one of the strange things in life
that not one of those swe tempered, soft
voiced, gentle hearted and velvet handed
women we see about US daily ever reaches
the distinction of beiog mother in law
BinQhampton Leader.
First Politican-"They say that you
never would have been elected if you
hadn't given the boys full swing at the
bar of the hotel" Second Ditto-"Well,
what of that?" Nothing partisan sbou,
me. I'm inn dependent.-Eg.
Jnx-"Did the slosher accept your
storyT Binx-"No.=5 They said it was
unfit for publication" Jinx--"Why, there
was nothing in it to bring blush to the
most innocent cheek" Binx-"That's
| why 1t was unit. '-ET.
Johnny (reading aloud tale of adven-
ture)-"And he was cast on q desolate
shore, and he did not see the face of man
for years." Sister Kate-"Why, mamma
the poor unfortunate must have been
wrecked on Resorters' Beech, where we
were last summer. We were there three
months, you remember, and didn't seq g
man the whole time. "-Boston transcript
Young Suffer Enormously approaching
the subject)-Mr. Bond, your daughter is
just-just the sweetest girl in the world
and L Pater (benignantly) And You
want me to make a sort of sugar trust out
of your Well. take her and BIZ happy =
Pitts6urg Bulletin,
| A Scotch dominic who had argued long
with female psrishioner over certain dis
Luted religious questions a. last exclaimed
IN despair, "Is's no use arguing with you
any longer you are not open to convic-
ton" Whereupon the irate but triumph
ant dame responded, II am open to con-
vic:ion, but just show me the man that
can convince me-"
A williamson girl, who in the matter
of beauty and affectionate exuberance was
not to say ''frss h as first love and rosy as
the dawn" was asked why she did not get
married, and this is what she said in re-
ply: II have considerable money of my
own, I have parrot that can swear and
monkey that chews tobacco. so that have
no need of q husband. oil Citu Blizzard
Timpany jeweler)-"Ssy, Bobby, come
here and tell me, like good little boy, if
you ever heard your sister Gwendolin say
anything about me" Bobby esterday
she said to mamma that it would be good
thing for you if you married her, as then
the wedding ring would cost you nothing
and all her friends would buy the presents
at your stors, and perhaps you might sell
| them afterward.-Jeaoslers Circular.