davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-06-27
Trick Of a Paris Thief.

a thief arrested in Paris, France. had
recourse to clever trick, which very
nearly succeeded. This man, named
Edouard BonniS, protested loudly to the
detectives who had apprehended him that
they were committing an cgrcgious blum
der and urged them to take him to his
rooms to convince themselves of their
error They did so and found none of
the articles of which Bonnis was nccuscd
OF having stolen, but, as their prisoner
couia not give satisfactory account of
now he came to have certain articles of
value in his possession, they seized them
together with large number of letters
Ills arrest was maintained for the t;mc
being; but he was on the point of bcin"
released as the wrong person when, nm.
fortunately for Bonnis, a man. whose
name is not given, complained to the
police of having been robbed of the arti-
Giles seized by the police. 1t was then
discovered that Bonnis had taken the
detectives into the rooms inhabited bv n
ncighbor. 1t is almost needless to add
that, when the police searched the rooms
i'll which Bonnis really lived, they found
a great quantity of stolen goods and a
most complete set of housebrealcrs tools,
London Sinndar2.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-06-27

- ~ 10 h"iu III Woou, anu III r~4325tftl
painted and polished
The British Museum possesses collcc-
ton OF old Greek advertisements printed
on leadcn plates. The Egyptians were
great advertisers. Papyrus leaves more
than 5000 years old have been found at
Thebes, describing runaway slaves. and
Offering reward for their capture; and
Mt Pompeii ancient advertisements have
been deciphcrcd on the walls.
at banquet of electrical engineers in
boston lew evenings since, those occult
gentlemen assured the public that the
dwelling-housc of the future will be fitted
for electricity as it now is for gas. not
only for illumination, but also TO furnish
power to run the scwing-machine the
gg-beatcr, aud even to butter the bread
economically, to warm the house, and to
cook the food.
inventors everywhere are trying to dis.
cover an artificial gas fuel that will end
the days of solid fuels. A Wisconsin
genus has brought out scheme of new
water gas that is thought well of by
scientists. In the end there will probably
be developed several gas fuels that will )
work all right. The sooner the better,
Tor 1t is one of the unfortunate facts of
the age that the way fuel is now used
about 20 per cent. of it is wasted.
This is the way chicken or duck is
fattened: Thrust into cylinder, it is
kept in darkness for three weeks; thrice
per diem patent food, composed largely
OF cornmeal, is forced by a small pumn
into its crop; it enjoys no alternative, il
must sleep and fatten; paralyzeG by in
ertia, its flesh becomes white and tender,
and in three weeks it is rs fat rs n ball of
butter. The cost of fattening chicken
docs not exceed eight cents; a chicken
so fattencd brings ten cents more Il Mound
in the market than other chickens.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-06-27
Ills Motherin.Lnw is Welcomed.

Among the Piutcs it is always the
fathcr-in-law that makes the trouble.
Every married Pintc is always glad of a
visit from his mother-in-law. lie well
comes her with his broadcast grin. The
arrival OF the mother-in-law gives him
double team, where before lie had only
one animal. lie halls her appearances
with delight, and pilinga jaclsass-load
OF wood upon her willing old back.
sends her into town with his wife
Similarly packcd) to pcddle out the fuel
and bring back TO him asupply of money
Tor his iavoritc game OF poker. The
Piute fathcr-in-iaw is of 10 use MS II
wood-pacler, nor will he gather grass
seeds or pine nuts Virginia Gin Enter
prise.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-06-27
A Machine to Make BasebalIs.

Automatic machines for making base
balls have been so successfully contrivcd
that their introduction is likely to con-
stitute practical industry. Each ma
chine winds two balls at one time, in
the following way: ~ little para-rubber
ball, weighing three-quarters OF an ounce,
around which one turn has been made
with the end of skcin OF an oid-f fash
Toned gray stocking yarn, is slipped into
the machine, then another, after which
the boy in charge touches Il lever. the
machine starts and the winding begins.
The rubber ball is thus hidden in few
seconds, and in its place appears little
gray yarn ball that rapidly grows larger
and larger. When it appears to be about
half the size of the regulation baseball
therAis a click, the machine stops, tho
yarn is cut, the. boy picks cut the ball
and losses it into the basket. When
this basket is full it is passed along to
another boy, who runs similar machine,
where half-ouncc layer of worstcd warn
is put on. The next machine adds
layer of strong white cotton thread; a
coating of rubber cement is next applied,
and a half-ounce layer of the very best
zinc worsted completes the ball with the
exception of the cover. Commercial id.
rertiser. {.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-06-27

A striking looking young woman
entered q high-class restaurant recently.
She was tall and of magnificent pro-
portion, with fair hair and deep blue
eyes.
81 saw that young woman do most
remarkable thing few days ago in the
park" said q man who sat with party
of friends near the door. "Thcrc are not
many men who are strong enough to do
it, She was alone and was walking
along with u pair Of masti(fs at her side.
The dogs seemed ill-disposcd toward each
other, and from occasional snarling broke
into angry growls and then sprang at each
others Threats. Instead of running off
rs most women would have done, she
walked coolly over to them and struck
them smartly about the head and nccl,
with the little riding whip she carried in
her hand. But It had no effect. The
next thing she did was to throw the whip
away, catch the collar of one OF the huge
animals with the right hand and the other
with the left, and by sheer force of
muscle hurl them apart. She stood there
for q minute, her hand in the collar of
each dog, holding them ous at arms
length and half lifted from the ground.
The half-choked animals stopped their
growls and were quiet. \ moment longer
she held them, then with n sharp word of
reproof she let go her hold on the collars,
picked up her whip and went calmly on
with the conquered brutcs following
closely behind her.
SIT was the most superb exhibition of
nerve and strength l ever say woman
give. "-Meio York. Sun.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-06-27
4 Modern Metllusclah.

During my stay in Chill, wherc I wa,
employed as the superintendent of n
silver mine near Huasco, says n writer in
the Philadelphia Press, came in contact
with an Indian who was found, after care
ful investigation, to be at least 1913 years
old. His name is Jaio1uin Happole. The
miners called him Hercules. Happole
was born in the southern part of Plata
gonla, and is perfect type OF the Pata-
CONAN Indian, being seven feet eight
inches i'll height. He is OF very heavy
build, his voice is remarkably sonorous.
and his hair, now white, reaches far
down his back and is very coarse. For
about fifty years this Indian worked in
the copper region, and he also worked
in the silver mines for twenty-five wears.
lie has learned to speak the Spanish
language. Men that knew him fifty wears
ago say that he could make a running
leap OF thirty feet with great case, and
many are the tales of his strength. Old
native Indians say that their grandfath
ers have spoken Of him as being old in
their youth. Some OF the oldest Span
ISM settlers in the region remember him
10 have been gray haired when seventy
i've years ago, he, with about sixty
or seventy other Patagonians, was in
duced to come and work in the copper
mines. Happolc says he can remember
Spanish Catholic missionary named
Aiondez travelling through Patagonia. 1t
mas been found that this was in the wears
i!4o-l9- The first and largest part of
MS LIE he was uncivilizcd. obta;nino his
living By The chase Washipqton !Star.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-06-27
AN OBSTINATE OLD MAN.

An old man lived all alone, NIL alone,
And jolly old man was he,
He was ruddy and fat and sleek as rat,
And his arm was good thing to see,
His chest was round, his liver was sound,
And his voice had chord of g,ce
AS he sang to himself while he counted his
pclf:
"Oh, no.
I'm n hearty and hale old man,
All, ha,
Such n sturdy and we'll old manm
Not a chick nor child had no i'll the world,
Though his Golfers were full OF gold;
He had money III chest, in trousers. in vest
From his pockets the big dollars rolled;
He owned miles flanl and palaces grand,
And in bank hal thousands untold
So Ire sang all the while, with Il confident
smile:
"Oh, no,
I'm likely and peart oil nan,
All, ha
Such a merry an brisk old ,nnnm
His brothers waited AMI longc;l in vain,
And for years 1 wean n score
They would meet each day and pleasantly
say:
The OLD man is risi,tat Deaths door"
Then the first one slept and hc never wcpt,
But he laughed and sang the more,
And he gaylJ cried when the last onc died:
oh no.
I'm q healthy ami long-livcl man,
Ah In.
Such Il vigorous, sound old innnw
Each night his ncphcws and nicces dreamt
or how rich they were going to grow,
And they loved TO hint, 1--WE will never stint
When our ship come, in, yon i;now,"
But gricvc to tell, he kept hale and we'll
While the years went dragging slow,
And he cacklcd loud DER tho last ones
shroud:
'Oh, no,
I'm n hardy and stout old man,
All. hn.
Such lusty and tough old MAN.
And he's living yet NIL alone by himself,
This man am singing about,
Oh his eye is bright, and his step is light,
And his voice is CHEEKY and stout:
His cheeks are red and he holds up his head
In way that puts death to rout
So can't see why no should ever ,lh-
Oh dear,
Such healthy aud we'll old man.
All, Inc,
Such an Obstinate, tough old man,
George Horton, in Chicago Herald
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-06-27
LOVES YOUNG DREAM.

Young Man gazing drcamly at the
candy-casc in fancy grocery storc)-"I
i wish to get something real nice for a
a young lady, but hardly know what
to select.
Grocer (briskly)--"Vcry young?"
Young Man." Bout scvcnteen-still
going to boarding-school."
Grocer-"Yes, sir. John! show this
gentleman to the pickle counter. "--Me,c
York Weekly.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-06-27
Walked Across the River In a Kettle.

AS syrup maker was peacefully pre-
pairing for work among the mnp!cs he
became aware that Indians were stealing
upon him and were already in posses
sion OF his canoe. Whatever was to be
done had to be done quickly, and from
tier wit was equal to the emergency
Snatching up his deep kettle he inverted
it over his head and boldly wadcd into
the river. The inverted kettle acted, o!
course, as a diving bell, and with his
head in this air chamber he walked
across the river, which in the middle
was many feet over his head, to the uttoy
amazcment OF the Indians. -rhi.aaelpah
Iimcs.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-06-27
poon rALxEn, nUr GREAT ru,xKrD

Custome--''I'vc been cheated. I
thought You said this parrot could talk"
Bird Fancicr-"No, sir. What said
WIS that he had been brought up in the
company of learned men, and was full
OF philosophy and scholarship. Ofcourse
he don't talk. Mere idle words have no
attraction for him. But he's remarka-
bic parrot, because he's ~ great thinker. {"
--.4ygosy.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-06-27
A NEW WAY 10 CUT DgEFsrEAKs.

A young married couple have just gone
to housekeeping on Duffield street. The
other morning the ncighbors were treated
to this bit of colloquial entertainment as
the two parted ut the gate;
He-'.What shall l order for supper,
precious2"
Shc-"A piece of beefsteals, aud oh,
darling, do tell the man to cut it the
right way of the goods, so it will be
tender."- Detyoh Free Press.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-06-27
no OUTWARD SYMPTOM.

"AIis' Pcthcbridge,' said the en-
barrasscd young man ut the other end OF
the sofa, after dreary pause in the
conversation, ''arc you acquainted with
my cousins, the COPYRIGHT sirls?"
"Courtright? Courtrignt2" replied the
young woman, DREAMY. care you re-
lated to anybody of that name, Mr..
Phecble2 never should have suspected
IT, Chicayo Tribune.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-06-27
UNIQUE IN HISTORY.

"Alaria, it makes me awfully nervous
to see you put pins in your MOUTH" said
Mr.. humble, as he looked over to where
his wife was sewing.
But she could not answer without
danger of choking. There was no last
word. humble had broken the record.
Puck. e.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-06-27
AN EYE TO BUSINESS.

Elites Brothcr-"Do you love nv
sister Eific?"
Effic's Steady COMPATIBILITY, Willie,
that is a queer question. Why do you
want to know"
Etlic's Brothcr-''Sac said she would
give sovereign to know, and I'd like to
earn it. "-LonSlon It'd Bits.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-06-27
MOST BEGINNERS DO.

"You've been riding bicycle, 1
hear, said one department clerk to an
other.
''Just for exercise, you know
cit has reduced your weight some, 1
think."
eyes, have fallen Off great deal. 4"
Washington Post.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-06-27
sIMrKI;s's coNyEnsAr1oS.

"Harry Simpkins isn't very brilliantin
conversation, is hcl" said ono young
woman to another.
"No; but he said something quite new
at 10 o'clock last night"
"What was it,"
Gle said, 4 think I'll have to CO. "
Washington Post -
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-06-27
BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SKETCHES PROM
VARIOUS SOURCES.
Tic Pnrtiny-Lost His Tradc-Marls
Most beginners Do--An Eye
to Observation-Disclosures In
History, Etc, Etc.

Wo parted in silence. we parted by night
On the bank of beautiful river;
No sound but II Surgle as out Of my sight
Swift sho sank with scarcely Il shiver.
Tho nightingale warbicd, the stars swectly
shone,
And though she will rise again mover,
No sorrow was shown for tho life that had
flown,
For that cat is silent forever,
-COt0y- Echo.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-06-27
MISUNDERSTANDING JONES.

Boarding House Mistress Cat Sunday
dinner)-"Mr. Jones, why do you not
cat some chickcnl"
Mr.. Jones (who has laborcd fifteen
minutes trying to carve lcg)-"Thanks,
l never work on Sunday. "-Nuasey's
Weekly.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-06-27

so suddenly. Least of all, darling, so
sweet n treasure rs you"
And neither of the two suspected what
poisoned dagger was that day ranking
III the breast of Mrs. Rosanond Blythe.
Saturday Might
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-06-27
LOST Ills TRADE-NIARI,.

Tcd-'1 guess YOU remember that
young fellow who has just passed. He
used to black shoes Mt the hotel. Iwon-
der if he's still in the business"
Ncd-'IIardly. You see his own.
shoes arc polished. "-J,,dyc.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-06-27
HOW HE SOLD THEM.

Lady of the Housc-.1 don't need any
of your burglar alarms"
Agcnt-'That'a just what the lady
next door said"
Lady of the House ION the alcrD-
"Said whati"
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-06-27
SIZE SAID so.

Madison Snapshot-"A fair, ewcct
girl, if ever was one, my boy. There's
photograph of her took myself"
Jack Kodnck (critically)-"A strong
negative, by Jovc."
Madison Snapshot-"Not nearly as
strong as the one got later. "rAuascy's
Weekly.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-06-27
OF TWO Ellis. ETC.

Dollivcr-'T think will send Julia. to
Milan to finish her music lessons"
Mrs. Dollivcr delighted, but doubt
fuD-"Do you think you can stand the
cxpenscl"
Dollivcr Qirmly)-"M Much easier than
gan the piano. "-HacIet.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-06-27
WHERE. ISDEEDI

Mrs. Wundah--"I did not know there
were such things rs artificial whales"
Dir. Wundah-"Wcll, there are not"
Mrs. Wundah--"But where do they
get this artificial whalcbonc the papers
speak of?"-I'uck.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-06-27
TIE TRUE CELflATE EDUcATrOS.

Travis-"Wcll, Dc Smith, I'm q
bachelor of art now"
De Smith-"Dosh! You never gradu-
ated anywhere"
Travis-"I know it, but have learned
how to sew on buttons and wash c lamp
chimney. "-Burlingt0n Free Press.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-06-27

The pleasant summer sunshine had
faded out of the laad. The Saratoga
hotels were closed; gay Newport was de-
serted.
And Mrs. Blythe, sitting in the yellow
light of her jonquil silk curtains, was
smiling over n card which Matilda had
just brought in.
Dear Algy" she murmurcd. 81
knew he would GOMEZ"
She glidcd into the white and gold
drawias-roo:a, all gracious cordiality
'lou recrennt cavalicr." she smiled.
GIVE half n mind to scold you, and
yet
"Do deserve that titlc?" Mr.. Vanc
asked. "For you are the first person to
whom 1 have told the great happiness of
my life. Oh, see you don't understand
me! Come out from behind the draper
les, Lydia, and help me to explain"
And Lydia, blue eyed and fair -tresscd,
came.
eve arc married, mamma" said
Lydia, "Algy and l. And we sail for
Europe in the Comandra, at noon.
Won't you kiss me, mamma, and wish
me joy2'
Mrs. Blythe kissed LyC;ia-and Algy,
too-and wished them joy.
But it was the scverest ordeal to which
she ever had been put. ~ mothcr-in-law
instead of bridc This was hardly what
she had looked forward to.
But even in that trying moment she
noticed the glittering pin which fastened
Lydia's lace bonnet-strings-a quaint de-
vice of tiny diamonds-and remembered
what the girl had once said about for
tune teller and horseshoe.
"NIamma didn't look quite pleased,
Algy,' said the bride, when they were
back in the carriage, driving to tho
steamers wharf. "Do you suppose she
is vcxcd because we didn't take her into
our confidencc!"
81 dare say" remarked Mr.. Vanc
''that no mother likes to lose her chile
The gold leaf. [volume] (Henderson, N.C.) 1881-1911, 1890-05-08

About two years ago I took your No
landine"; since then my health has
been and IS now as good asst ever was.
Can eat IL moderation now food that
two years ago dared not touch. Atthe
same time was afflicted with disease,
I believe, of the skin; for the last ff-
teen years it has been a plague to me.
It invariably made its appearance in
February and lasted until April. When
1 got warm in bed it would commence
itching. There was no eruption until I
was compelled to scratch, then little
pinp1e, not as large as pins head,
would appear, and then my misery
commenced. have laid many cold
winters night without any covering un-
til could stand the cold no longer,
and then would pull the cover over me
and get snatches of sleep. I have not
felt it since taking your valuable s'No-
landine," which was taken for dyspep-
STA, and I believe that it has cured me
of that plague. write this to show you
4 have been cured by your valuable
''Nolandine, (" invaluable to me. owe
you many thanks. do not write this
for publication, but if you think it may
benefit any of our fel1ow-men similarly
afflicted, you may use it as you think
proper. Very respectfully,
JAMES L. EGE,
at 1.-THE house of John H. Tyler & Co.
The gold leaf. [volume] (Henderson, N.C.) 1881-1911, 1890-05-08

you a few lines to tell you low we is
geteen along. you know how bad of us
all was when you gin uses that nolandinc
well marin my husbon tuck all them
bottles and got we'll ard etc all you fetch
him, you kno he was most dead and you
saved his1 life ard them too cllilder you
gin them six bottles of nolandine the is
big and fat boys all them sores is well.
my old man is doing smart, he dun got
fine farm and makes a good Twin and
has good health. nolandine saved his
life and them too children too. we calls
our home nolandine because it saved my
old man life and the childrens life too.
we pray for you and good man who
made nolandine every mite and morn-
in and hope god will less you both and
hope we will meet in heven. there amt
none of is willing to be here without
nolandine and a heep of pep1e here
never herd Oft afore we told them about
it. now they like it like we does, and
git it by the dozen dear good madam
you has made a we'll man Of Kim and
them too children and god bless you for
that. it takes me a week to write so
much this is first letter have writ for
nigh on fore year you is only one would
rite too if you don't mean rit us few lines
ard thank that good man for given us
that nolandine were save my old man
and them too boys WHO is all we'll and
harty. your devoted friend,
SARAH ANN LAROCHE.
The gold leaf. [volume] (Henderson, N.C.) 1881-1911, 1890-05-08
Torpid Liver.

A VALUABLE MEDIcINE.-Und this
head the Petersburg DAILY Index has
the following:
eve have received from Rev. Mr..
Kelley the following testimonial in re-
gard to the virtue of 'Nolandine, which
We cheerfully publish for the benefit of
those who may be in need of such
medicine"
NoLAND1NE.@Some time ago there
was a notice of the above mentioned
in the local columns of the Index,
which attracted my attention. After
conference with one of the proprietors
I procured bottle of "Nolandine,"
and received SO much benefit from its
use that I tried second one, and am
NOW using the third. Having suffered
Undesirable tortures for more than
forty years from torpid liverthis medi-
cine has afforded me more relief, than
anything I have ever used. A desire
to benefit my fellow-creatures is my
sole motive for publishing this state
ment. JOHN D. KELLEY.
The gold leaf. [volume] (Henderson, N.C.) 1881-1911, 1890-05-08
Liver Complaint.
OFFICE OF ]. w. CALDWELL, I

RICHMOND, VA.
Dear Sir,-For the benefit of persons
suffering from Chronic Liver Com
plant, beg leave to call their atten-
ton to your vegetable preparation,
"Nolandine" regard it as "chola-
gogue," combining alsotonic and reno
waiting properties, and in this respect
differing from any medicine have
ever taken.
The effects of your No1andine" in
my case, has been on the liver and Sc
cretions identical with ca1ome1; at the
same time, entirely free from nauseating
and facilitating consequences follow
ing the use of that mineral.
I very cheerfully recommend your
"Nolandine for the diseases enume-
rated on your circulars, and am convinc-
ed from personal benefit derived from
its use, that it must become a stand
ard family medicine.
I am OF alone in the very high esti-
mate place on "No1andine," and trust
it will be universally known and be, as
it should be, the means of taking the
place of mineral preparations for that
class of diseases in which it has prov
ed SO successful ard already gained such
arepUtation. Hoping that ''Nolandine"
may reach all persons suffering from bill
ious arrangement and prostration from
chronic diseases, am veryrespectfu11y
yours, JOHN w. CALDWELL.
The gold leaf. [volume] (Henderson, N.C.) 1881-1911, 1890-05-08
a Family Medicine.

Having suffered forsevera1 years with
liver complaint, indigestion and an OBJ
stinate form of cutareous disease, after
unsuccessful1y using other remedies,
was advised by several physicians to try
your celebrated preparation, 'sNolan-
dine"
Since thoroughly testingit, lean con-
fdently recommend it as the best alte-
rative blood purifier and liver invigora-
tor 1 have ever used and it can also be
taken with much efficacy by delicate
females. I consider it a valuable family
medicine, possessing the advantages of
Mercury" without its injurious effects,
and with pleasure offec my unsolicited
testimony in favor of Nolandine.
Very respectfully,
MRS. G. w. FRANCISCO,
Richmond, Va.