Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1890-05-09
PARSON BOYLE'S LIMIT.
(FRoM THE BALTIMORE SUNDAY NEWS

tom to preach the funeral of the deceased
long after the deceased had been buried.
IN fact nearly all Of the preachers work
consists Of funeral orations. Sometimes a
new circuit rider, to endear himself to the
people, will first announce himself by de
claring that be will entertain his beloved
hearers with a few remarks on the life,
character aud death of old Anderson Lips
comb. who surrendered to the demands of
tn. great high sheriff of death, just forty
three years ago yesterday. Then, assuming 2
serious expression of eountenance, he
hauls of, strikes the pulpit jolting blow
and for two hours and a half he rants and
roars over the virtues and abilities of a man
of whom he never heard until a few hours
previously.
Recently, Simeon J. Boyle, circuit
rider of the old school, was appointed by
conference to take charge of the Black
sulphur Springs curcuit. He was known
as a pow erful agonizer, a man who could
raise the soft hair of luxurious sin into the
stitf bristles of fear The day after Boyle
had arrived in the neighborhOod OF his new
charge, he was called upon by Wigs
Baily. Wigs is d well-knOwn character
OF the community man of untrembling
nerve. Of strong arms aud an appetite that
had never been known to fail
What can I do for you'" the preacher
asked. when the visitor had introduced
himself
'Jes' called to pay my respeeh an to
tell you that ef you ever need my sarveses
ies' call on me"
Are you a preacher" the circuit-rider
asked.
oh, no"
Then how can you ever be of any ser
vice to me, Ny work, as you know, is
with the Lord, and man whose work is
not directly in the Lords work can't do
me any good.
wall all your work in this here com
munity mout not be with the Lord You'll
find some putty tough fellers round here,
and | lowed that they mout want to pull
an haul you about one of these times; an
eff they do, wy you jest call on me an
wen make 'em so hot that they could
stand under a peach tree and make it
bloom in January. Understand?'
"Oh, yes, | understand, but don't give
Yourself any uneasiness on my account
"All right, but that is not all the bust
ness I've got with you. 'preciate the po'
sitioa you hold as worker fur the Lord, and
| wanter ask favor of YOU
"All right, brother"
Il want You to preach the funeral OF my
brother Ike. Best feller you ever seen in
your life-died about ten or fifteen years
ago Great, big feller, whipped old Oscar
Miles once an Os was power in the land,
| tell you. Now you preach his funeral
an III make 1t all right with you"
Il will do it, brother. What was the
cause of his DEATH
Lack of Ticker"
"What, was he 50 addicted to the use of
liquor that when it gave out and he
couldn't get any more he diedi'
"Oh, no, he never was much of a hand
to drink"
Then how did he die on account of the
lack of lquort"
"W'y, he was bit by rattlesnake an
as lie didn't have no ticker lie Jest naohully
died"
"And you want me to preach his fu-
uerall'
''Yes, an you ken git git in some power
ful work when you git down inter ths facks
of his lyin' thar suferin' fur Ticker. You
ken fetch the tears outen mighty nigh
ever eye in the house"
81 see, but a description of his death, no
matter how vivid, will not be quite enough.
Tell me something Of his life"
wall he was the powerfullet feller i'll
the country. Reckon he could lift more
at d handspike than any man about here
But what were his strongest pointsl'
"RassIin', brother, rnsslin' with the
kctch as ketch can rule"
But had he not some moral qualityP
ooh, yes. He didn't swear 'cept when
he couldn't help hissesf."
"Wcll, ! will do the best | can. VIII
next Sunday do!"
"Yes; suits ne all right Thar'll be a
big crowd out, specially this is your fust
'pearance, an | want you TO paint Ike
as bright as a rose"
Yes, said the preacher, scratching his
head, I'm do that Your brother was "a
IA popular man, was Lc.'
Popular as a basket Of ginger cakes at
a county fair
'All right brother. I'll be on hand
next Sunday
The house was crowded on the following
Sunday. Wigs took a seat near the pull
pit, and, taking out an immense handker-
chiel-it must have been the half Of a
table clolh-made himself appear AS man
of deep seated sorrow. The now circuit
rider preached powerful semon--hc
painted pathetic picture OF man,
wallowing on the ground, wringng his
hands and crying, in an agonizing voice:
"Licker, oh! bring me ticker or | will
perish|
After services were over, Wigs shook
hands with the preacher, and then, break
ing down with the weight Of his emotion
wheeled about and disappeared in the
woods
on the following Saturday Wigs called
on the preacher again. II have come" "
said the visitor, when the minister had
shaken hands with him, TO tell you that
not only me, but everybody, is delighted
with the brother Ike sermon"
81 am highly pleased to hear it."
Not at all Say, I've got another favor
to ask
"What is it, brotheri'
Il want you to preach the sermon Of my
brother Iko next Sunday"
'Why, that wcuidn't do at all"
"Why noti"
Because preached it last Sunday"
Brother, let me tell you that | come
snighty nigh runnin this here community.
put five Of the main logs in that church
you preached in last Sunday, and unless
you preach Ike's funeral again next Sun
day, wy, I'll take the logs that b'long to
me an split 'em for fire e-wood. Oh, don't
vou think the folks will take your part.
They know me--Lnow that it won't do "a
fool with no What do you say'"
tlnt ,.tl.r tI,n lut. unr /.