The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1890-06-12

Governor, with permanent gift of a bed
so to speak Well, shall give my first
nomination to my bargain-driving friend
who was the owner of that second hand
set of harness, and | shall except nobody,
not even John, by Divine Providence, Lord
Bishop of Blankhampton. There will be
hundreds of subscribers eager and anxious
to provide for him.
Well, to go back to the point from which
I started-and I hope the critics especial
ly my dear friend, Blue Stocking, who
sits in such merciless judgment upon all
of us poor scrbblers, Heaven help her
and us) will not be too hard upon my dis
cursiveness; if they feel inclined to be so
let me recommend them to go and do
better, if they cant was going to say
that one of the most singular bits of in
formation which one learns from study
of the human being is to see how thor
oughly it pays to assume the position
which one wishes to take in the estimation
of other people, and how the majority of
those people take you at your own valua-
ton.
AT this moment I know literary wO-
man-no, my friend, I am not going to
give you the smallest clue to her identity,
so you need not look for it. She is honor
ed, feted, quoted as a celebrity of great
distinction, and yet everybody whom /
know-and have a very large acquaint-
ance in the Society of Wit-ends by ask
ing the same questions, 'Bye-the-by have
you ever read anything of hers? What
has she written?" 1t was very much in
this way with Mrs. Fairlie! She was a
pretty woman, with a sharp hatchet-like
face-still distinctly pretty, mind-a ter
rible figure and worse feet. Yet she came
as bride to Blankhampton, where, re-
member, the majority of the girls were
more than pretty, and she took up the
position of the beauty of the place. No
body quite knew how she did it-certain-
ly not because she was the prettiest wo-
man in the town. I could mention TWEEN
ty at this moment who were infinitely
more beautiful in face and l doubt if I
could find one who was worse in build
Nor was it that she dressed well-On the
contrary, I think she was generally rather
badly turned out, with often a skirt that
did not match itself all round, and once
saw her at q particular smart function,
in the shape of a concert at which all the
rank and fashion of the neighborhOod had
gathered itself together, in a dark silk
of white muslin adown the front of her
bodice and up the sleeves to the elbow,
which looked exactly as if she had been
at a school of cookery earlier in the day
and had not had time to change her frock.
Yet undeniably Mrs. Fairlie had the
position in the town of being quite the
beauty of the place, some indeed went SO
far as to call her ''the Blankhampton
Lily" and I have heard her termed the
Parish Lily'-which [ confess was hard
on the lady. The very last time that had
the pleasure land it was pleasure) OF see
ing Mrs. Fairlie, it was in the High Street
at Blankhampton. had not seen her for
some little time. I had always been used
to seeing a sight out of the common, but
I admit on this particular morning the
dazzling nature of her Blankhampton
Lily-ness fairly took my breath away.
She is tall and thin-were she not a
beauty, she might be called lanky-and
she was dressed in dark, not in mourning
though. She had very tall hat and very
short skirts, very smart boots with very
high heels She had also Pompadour
stick with big silver knob on top. Be
hind ran a huge black poodle, lovely
BRUTE shaver and Shorn and hutfed ana
CURED till he most of anything resembled
n yew-tree as you see them clipped in
old-fashioned gardens. Round his neck
he wore massive silver collar with
row of silver bells big enough for pony,
and round each of his semi-shaven black
legs a silver bangle. It was wonderful
sight, and had the poodle been as much
alive to the beauty and Importance OF
possessing such mistress as his mistress
certainly was of having such dog. why
he would have walked sedately in front
or have followed demurely behind AS 1T
was it was plain to see that that poodle
dog had no pride-he declined all control,
and showed no sense Of decency what
ever. Away he raced down the dirty
street, oblivious of a long and dainty toll
cite Just completed, forgetful of his dlgn1-
ty and bangles alike, to say nothing of his
silver collar and jingling bells, and his
mistress might, and did, call and coax in
vain might flourish her silver-top Pompa-
dour stick and look for all the world like
a barn-door hen standing at the edge OF
the pond into which her clutch OF duck
lings have boldly plunged unheeding alike
of her fear and her mistress. 1t was a
touching sight, shall never forget it!
And the last 1 saw of that depraved and
mindless poodle-dog, he was lying on his
back in the middle of muddy street
romping and playing leap-frog with a
| dirty little mongrel, who looked altogeth-
er too disreputable to belong to any
body If the Blankhampton Lily took
that dog home and gave him a sound
beating I do not think that should find
it in my heart to blame her, though l
am not an advocate for beating at any
time.
Well, have rambled off long way
from Mrs Trafford's little party-I apollo
gize dear reader and hope | have not
bored you by the way. We will go back
to the pretty drawing-room at No. and
try to pick up the thread of affairs just
where we let it slip! What-all gone?
Why surely had forgotten how late it
had got before I took you that long jour
ney just to make the acquaintance of a
mannerless man with pair of brawny
legs and pompous little country parson
whom I didn't think worth describing to
you. Well, well, forgive me this time and
I will try to keep tight grip of nv story