The Opelousas courier., 1890-10-18
M OF II DAT.

Ii LIE SWIM -CcOH af1SGocrdcy.
Scotch soldiers bear arms, and legs,
too.
CATER you, sir" as the sheriff said to
the defaulter "-Puck.
"Well, you have nervei" as the mar
said to his aching tooth.-Racket.
The bright side of the convict question
The 'toutside. "-Prison Mirror.
Goes without saying-The young mar
too bashful to pop the question.-7sza
SifSings.
Briggs-ttsay, old man, what are you
doing for that coldp Griggs-"Cough-
ing."-Lys.
When a man goes TO live in the top Of
a six-story fat it is all up with him
BsnghGmton Republican.
Giles-stWhat did Terwilliger say
about the twins2" Merritt-tsSaid it
was one too many for him."-LsS.
"Why does she sing with her mouth
closeda" ''She has a falsetto voice, and
is afraid it will drop out."-Chatter.
"Who would not be a boyi" demands
the poet. Well, the girl with a new en-
gagement ring wouldn't, for one.-LS.
Edith-ssIt's the little things that tell
in this life.n Alice-"Well, you'd think
so, if you had two small brothers, as !
have
He-"This horse puts me in mind Of
Lord Nelson" She-ssWhy2o s'He-
because he would rather die than run"
-Yob Record.
.Speech was given man to conceal his
thoughts" What he needs most, how
ever, Is some expedient for concealing
lack Of thoughts.-Munssy's.
Mother-"Now, Johnnie, you must
cut the apple in halves, and give the
larger half to your little sister" john
n;e-nLet her tut il. "-CbGtter.
etWe1l soon take the starch out OF
vou," said the warden to the refractory
prisoner" "You will, will Youa" Eyes;
| wen iron you."-Boston Courier.
"Oh, dearn!' cried Miss Passee. Here
they've gone and cut the day down to
| eight hours. Why, I'll be ahundred be-
fore I'm forty Times Democrat.
Miss Beacon-"This waltz is divinei
| Do You ever dance the lanciers, doctora'
| DIR. Boylston-s.No, but ] sometimes
lance the dancers."-Boston Budget.
There is really no tangible objection
TO violently plaid trousers except that
they keep one constantly wondering
whose move it is Washington Post.
Man wants but little here below,
For wears weive heard the poets singS
But from plain prose OF life we know
He wants a little Of everything.
aI've changed my mind since I saw
you last" said Galley. 81 hope the
new one is better than the last, put in
Cvnicus, and Galley got mad.-Nsn
York Herald.
MIR. McAllister-nWould you believe
it7 / have had that idea in my head fol
six months.n Mrs. Berry-aWhat a dull
time it must have had there all by it
sell. - Chatter.
A popular clergyman in Philadel
phia delivered q lecture on HFooLs.' Ihe
ticket to it read: aLecture en- Fools-ad
NIT one.n There was q very large at
tendance.-NeU Torb Herald.
Drug Clerk-seThis hair dressing i
mado Of pure bear grease" Brown
Elbow can it be pure when it's scentedf'
Drug Clerk-e!It is-er-made from tht
cinnamon bear."-New York Sun.
nIce is too expensive, Mary. 70,
must get along without it, "But how
am I to keep the beef fresh and thu
butter and milk cool2' "You have
fan, haven't youa"-Neso York Sun.
ttLet me never hear Of your disobeyins
ue again, " said his father - he laid til
| hair-brush aside. 81 w-won't,' sobbet
Tommy. IF I can help It. I-I-didn'
t-tell you t-this time."-Harper's Basar
One Of the funniest things abou
children is the way when they have hur
themselves, they start and run all owe
the house until they find somebody t
hear them cry.-Burlinston Freo Rfss'
.sMy true love hath my heart, and I hav
his'-
so sans Sir Philip in the old time verse:
But In these days the pleasant version =.
sMy true love hath my heart; ! nav
her purse -
4tT,et HE Zee! Was 1t not Emerson VII
aaid. Fitch your wagon 70 . start
ssYes. / believe so.n stWhat . beautiful
@ho,sbti y, eyes. and how much chcape
i would be than keeping q horse.
LseN Citizen.
profassor-aMr. Chumpy, .
ANXIOUS for your fathers sake to brea
the long list Of denerit marks you haN
Won here. Do you think you viii ey'
Mr.. Chunnpy as having correctly ansveTs
All the questions put to him TINS lesson.
-pasadslphiS 1sases.
III viii be d sister TO you sne sais
nNo.n be replied sadly; ssI've gof O.
sister who wears my necksaes' Dos.oM
csr-fare. loses my hair brush, puts sidi'
slI aver the furniture In my room, an
ernecta me TO take her to tho sneatl
twiee ! week. / Think I'll go = ~
the world and forget you. Nasesnss
Posi-
He Composed Kathleen MavouFilee
4 conspicuous Inquire IN the process
at the unwilling Of the Lee Mona.lle
: Richmond. Va, was the vsneral
Professor r. N. Crouch, the composer
aKathleen Mavourneen.' he = ?
,bars nearer ninety than eighty yesFs
80, vet hale and hearty. - vas
4 So Ell ,,r;forya III Confe0er;