The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1890-02-02
JUNGLE THOMAS"
A Tramp Who Worked the Gentleman
Racket but Wearied of It.


The city marshal of small town in Indi-
ana having informed me that he had a dad
expositor'' in the town lookup, and that /
could see him if so desired, it was only nat
ural that curiosity should be aroused. went
over to find clean shaven, respectable look
ing man in broadcloth, and when we had been
left alone, on pretense that he wanted to
consult legal authority" he offered me a
cigar, crossed his legs, and complacently re-
marked
"Well, the bottom has dropped out at last,
and I'm burned glad of it. hain't felt a bit
happy for the last three months. Look at
me! Dye 'spose decent tramp would rec
ognize or have anything to do with me
logged out in this fashion? Regular broad
cloth, this suit is. and I've got on a regular
undershirt, same as governors wear, and reg
ular socks and linen collars. Is it any Won
der l hain't had good nights sleep in long
weeks, and that my liver is out of order and
my system running down"
You are not what you seemg" l observed
by way of encouragement.
you've hit the bulls eye, old man! Say,
it's too funny for anything when l think it
over. Sometimes I've laughed till my sides
ached, and then again I've bin SO lonesome
that it seemed as if | must fly"
go on with the tale"
He noted the time by new silver watch,
settled himself back ON the bench, and be-
gan:
Down here about three miles lives an old
maid nigh onto so years old. She owns the
farm, and O. man cousin of hers works it.
One night last spring struck the place for a
cold supper, and the door was hardly open
before Martha flung her arms about my neck
and kissed and Rugged until Jim, the cousin,
had to pull her off,"
Mistaken Identity" 1 remarked.
Exactly. Seems that they had an Uncle
Thomas off somewhere, and that he was sup
posed to be rich and eccentric, and that q
fortune teller had told 'em he would come
along in disguise. They tumbled to me for
the old eccentric, and it wasn't over two
toots of the whistle before l was onto the
racket. They didn't ask me any hard ques-
tions, but stuffed me full of good things
piled me into feather bed, kissed me good
night, and that was the beginning of down.
ward career which has landed me where
| am. Last night, when | struck this jail, !
began to feel at home for the first time il
twelve weeks If l only had my old duds
my happiness would be complete -
IBID it take them three months to fine
that YOU were not their Uncle Thomas
at did. They thought 1 was deceiving
them about my riches, and testing them tc
see if they were worthy. They bought me
this watch, clothes, cane, and a lot Of Other
stuff, and ! was fed on the fat of the land
Gained thirty-two solid pounds to prove it
I used to long to get back into the Old duds
| m eli Cto .l- TO- to
apples and encounter bulldogs, but had tc
play my part 1 knew that had sof
thing, and prudence warned me to hang OF
to it."
How did they discover your identitygn
"Well, she went OFF to a neighbor's, anC
Jim was working in back lot. Along cam
three of the boys, and was so glad to Sc
lem that Rugged each one in my arms ant
then invited 'em into the house. They ha'
eaten and drank their fill and gone before
heard anything drop. l told 'em who wa
and what snap / had, and I'll be hanged i
Jim, who had come up for water, didn't hea
it ALL He posted right off to town, got tn
officers, and here am. I want you to do N
favor"
"Weu!n
They'll hev to turn me loose, for hahn
| broken 10 law. want 10 send THESE ciolne
and this watch back TO Martha and jim, and
want you 20 get me something mora in keeF
Ing with my understanding an old tram
: VIII feel at homo in. I've been guilty OF de
ception, but l really couldn't help myself
It's the first time ever put On clean shirt
once week, washed my face once day, an
tried to sleep respectfully, and l promise 20
it shan't happen again. Its human to err
2 you know"
: arranged at the hotel for some old clothe
and carried them over, and as he united til
bundle "Uncle Thomas said:
''Most too respectable, but I'll doctor 'em
> little. A thousand thanks to you. By sh
time tomorrow I'll be ten miles away, dods
e ing the dog at the gate and working the bac
J door for cold vittles. Won't it seem goot
i Won't I roll up into a ball and have soil
y old snooze in some fence corner to-morro
{ night Thanks, again. But for your dish
terested kindness l might have been con
= PEELED to go out of here all dressed up, an
/ under false pretenses, and it would hay
S taken me month to convince the boys th,
e | Was born to the purfesh, and loved it fl
:. itself alone New York Sun.
NJ