The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1890-11-20
HUMOROUS.

With all its stubbornness and other
SHORTCOMINGS, one good thing can still
be said in favor Of the mule. 1t never
chews gum.-Rams Horn.
ministerial Friend-"What do you
find it hardest to overcome. my lad?"
Young Smithly-"Her fathers preju-
dice against me"-Yankee Blade.
-Jack-''Wby do they give all these
dishes French names? BY their COM
mon English names they'd taste as
sweet" Tom-"Yes, but they wouldn't
cost as much. ."-Munsey's Weekly.
AT the End of the Season.-Miss
Waldower-'I believe in looking outfor
number one." Miss Gowit-"Oh, OF
course! But I'm looking out for num-
Der five. now."-Puck.
Nov, between you and me, dar-
ling" he began "George, she inter-
rupted, realizing how strong was his
clasp how can there be any thing be-
tween you and me? There isn't room"
Boston Herald.
-'McWatty." sail merchant to his
clerk, you are perfectly useless, and I
shall have to fire you" ''Oh. don't
speak of fire in such warm weather as
this, 1 beg of you," replied the clerk,
earnestly.-Epoch.
Poor Dog.-Young Husband-''What
are you crying for, dear?" Young Wife
-"Fido, the naughty dog, ate up cake
| I made, and-boo hoo" Husband
well, no matter, darling, we can easily
replace Fido."-Yankee Blade.
Miss Rosebud lat her first race)-
And who did you say that gentleman
in the checked suit WASP" Mr..
Straightip-"O, that is s. the book
maker" Miss Rosebud (enthusiastical-
ly)-''Do bring him up and introduce
him. You know dote upon authors"
brooklyn Life.
"A Comfort-'What is the matter,
dear boy? You are hardly year mar
ried, and look SO troubled?" II had no
idea, must confess, that wife was 60
ing to be so costly . thing" "Well,
that is not 90 much, you know, con-
sidering how long she lasts."-Flie-
gende Blatter. .-.
-"You see that girl over there?" she
began. when the other answered: Eyes.
she lives opposite US. She's deaf and
dumb, poor thing" 1.-THE idea. And
there sat behind her in the street-car
for four blocks and made remarks about
that dowdy hat she bad on, all for moth
ing."-Terre Haute Express.
For better or worse
It cheers the old maids 70 be taken for
girls,
They like It to last all their lives.
ter than that
Is just to be taken for wives
-Philadelphia Times
Mrs. Youngbride - "Please have
| every gas-burner in the house ligh ted,
will you, George" Mr.. ,Youngbride-
isn't It rather an unnecessary extrav.
agance. darli-x?' p Mrs Youngbride--
Not at all! find there is discount
on gas bills paid before the 18th. and
we must run up big gas bill 50 as to
get nice, big discount
Grandma Ito young hopeful who has
been an hour with her. and has not ret
received an invitation to partake)-
"Dordie, what did your mother tell you
just before you left home?'' Dordie-
"Danma, the lass thing she said to me
was, 'Dord, my child, be careful an
don't eat too much pie" Tho pie was
soon forthcoming. .-Harper's Razar.
Mrs Goldust-"John, I wish you
would send the ofnce-boy up this morn
ing with &25. I want to send 1t to the
fresh-air fund. see that S25 will keep
poor child in tho country for week
| Mr. Gold ust-''Can't do 1t. The Office
boy has holiday to-day" Mrs. Goldust
-'Drst the little imp Why can't poor
people stick 70 their work. .''.-AAsrisa