The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1890-01-25
MIN HB0uF TOWN.


don't know whether l am repeat
ing history or chrOnicling chestnut,
but IL there is anything on earth that
makes newspaper man feel as though
he wanted to move to China or some
other heather empire, it is the aver
age kicker. There are men who I'M
dOubtedly have perfect rig hit to kick
There are circumstances when man
would lose his self respect II he didn't
kick. Still even though his kick Is
, perfectly justitiable the average kicker
makes an ass of himself in kicking.
Here are few samples OF kicks when
a newspaper man is compelled To con-
tend with from one Sunday to another:
you couldn't mention the fact that
had the grippe but you spoke
about Jones who lives next door. III
you can't do better than that l don't
want your old paper!" THE trouble
here was that the reporters were not
informed of the matter. He was told
the reason, but he still believes that
of spite'l - .,o
paper because | was fined, didn't you.
NlCc SOIU VI paper yOu IClioWS iuu'
You think you own the earth but III
get square with you, see If l don't.
(He talked as though the paper was
the cause Of his being fined, while in
fact it had merely chronicled hap
pening of the day without regard to
who was fined. A newspaper has no
favorites.)
you never mentioned my visit to
nj T.
give fellow puff once in while"
1Another case of an Item missed"
II he had dropped a postal card or told
friend to speak to a reporter about
it, the item would have appeared.
Yet he kicked and he will brood over
1t for a month";
Such is the life of newspaper man.
The publication of an item or the sup
preston of an item is sure to rouse
kick from somebody. One eXclaimS
that the reporter doesn't know enough
to pound sand while another laudS
him to the skies and calls him a sec
Ond WILDER f. Storey. Yet such is
human nature, that unfathomable
something which creates alike the
spice and the dizziness of life.
~.
There is little Methodist church
in cosy little town not a Thousand
miles from Ottawa, and this little
church happens to be somewhat tinan-
Cially embarrassed The present ad-
ministration is hustling young cler-
gyman, one of those muscular young
Christians who is able to work all
week and preach on Sunday with
equal ability. He had been laying
awake nights thinking of schemes to
raise the debt of the church, and at
length decided to make personal APP
peal to his congregation. In the midst
of sermon on this subject, he said:
"Bretheren, the Lord lOveth cheer,
full giver, and it has said that it is more
blessed to give than to receive. Those
who give in his name will receive
hundred fold in"
Here he was interrupted by close
listed old farmer in the back row, who
had just awakened from quiet sleep.
The farmer got up in an inquiring
way:
"Parson," he drawled, "when air
70 gOin' to do the recievin?"
Gin heaven" piously calculated the
dominic.
ooh"
And the farmer slowly sat down
and closed his eyes in slumber.
~
The fool killer has been neglecting
his duty again, as usual. This time
he has permitted young telegraph
operator, named w. E. Roach, living
at Saunemin, to swallow big dose of
carbolic acid, installing it for brandy.
He entered drug store where he
was well acquainted, and remarking
that he felt as though he was about
to have the grip, asked for some
brandy. His friend, the proprietor,
was busy with customer and went
into the back room to draw some oil,
when the young man proceeded to
help himself. The proprietor stepped
in at this junCture and noticed that
Roach had the carbolic acid bottle.
He called to him, but it was too late,
for he had already swallowed enough
to have killed dozen ordinary men,
and expired few seconds later.
He, of course, thought he was drink
ing brandy. He was sort of second
cousin to the omnipresent man who
didn't know it was loaded, and near
relative Of the fellow who crosses rail-
road tracks when the train is ten feet
away. What did he know about |
drugs, anyway?
~
John O'Donnel, familiarly known as
"CakeS," has more friends to the |
block than any other young man in |
Ottawa. He is lady's man too and
never fails to create profound i'm
preston with his soulful eyes. Here |
is tribute paid to him by loving
friend:
WHEN THEY KISS ME.
dedicated to 'Cakes")
Like my name, l am sweet,
''All the girls tell me so,
For | never get left,