New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1890-04-06
THE TALK or TIE DAY.

Now that Mr. Beamy has made $4,000 by Looking
backward, he can look forward without any pc
cuniary apprehensons. BY the way, THE Hartford
Post, reminds us that Lots wife not 50 fortunate
as Mr. Beamy for she only earned her salt BY LOOKING
backward.
Rushing the Free Dclivery.-Mr Greene Gage ,os
Plum Creek stopping Letter-carricrt-ha'c ~ s''
''' carrcrDBut don't know you sir. +, . % ,,ovr
Mr. Greene Gagespose not 0nl ga CONF snt got
lime TO 20 10 the postoihce to-day '-irueh
Mr. Dashh,l-I do so love Boston bread you know.
Mis- Waiting (seizing her chancel-Now, do yos
know, am Boston bred.
Tableau-E Engagement, Easter wedding.
An exchange speaks Of colored chicken thief.
n il no more rcprehen>ible TO steai 'oiort
tticion thof IL /, to carry of fowl that has MOO
vuderronc the coIorng proccss.-(Norrt,town Herald
This Is sometimes called the greatest pill consume
inc conntry in the world, but this honor probably be-
longs 10 Great Britain II is estimated that In thas
country aver five and half million pills are swallowed
daily or one pill week for every soul IN the hihs'
dom The pills consumed in year would "eiSh 10
TONS. making train load which would require TWO
powerful engines haul it. If these pills were paeei
Side by side they 9uld make line nearly o'oVo MICS
long.
His Artistic Conscience.-"lt must oe III e"i ra
strain on "A mans conscience Ia sell chrohlo, To
marked the Artist to his friend, the picture ueaicr -.
II would he much harder strain on l'ic |" I'M. M
tbcn Was the answer Of the dealer. who wa. soihc-
thing Of Il connoisscur himscf-tIerre hau'e HApeS''
II would sound a little awkward TO say that inc
tvneriter is mehter than the sword, but that i una
modern equivalent of the well-hno"h quo'"''oN' ="
The machine, and not ,hc sirl' l. referred TO-
Miss Fussanfeather-Arc you going to saratoga next
summer ,,, ,, s,,v hama and
use ice II will be quite as expensive l1""'s'-
Yonkcrs statesman
, CLERGYMAN declared the other day that no people
are 50 humane in their treatment Oh t"e l'"S' ',."
"A I'M, Americans. But what about the h""""'O'
who in order 10 avoid destroying lie' carry o'oo"'
with which To sweep away insects wiz" '"''' -
Euddhists OF course desire to III on the srounu'
ra ,rho ,year a sieve over their mouth ~hen drink
inr water lest they might swallow and 80 destroy
some living creature!
John Doe-Arc you carrying a mortgage on your
Rehar, Roc-Yc~ and strange to say I'm carryn;
IL because | can't lit u-lbosioh Transcript
The pcach growers Of the " Peninsula declare ina.
there, will be no Delaware peaches TINS year ala
,his t,re there is apparently some foundation i0
their statement
Teacher What's the past tense of see'
WHAT'S Your authority for that FORMS
sign In the grocery store
What does i; say ," ,,
"Tmo,hy seed. "-(ninshamton Republican
Not long ago a noted evangelist made the follow
ing announcement at one ~ hl' meetings ING
services 10 morrow viii be for women only. Pastors
q, churches will be admitted. but no men, rus
remark is in line with the old adagc that these
or. three sexes men. women and clergy men,
4 TRIBUTE TO TIE OLD MAN.
While mothers are in every cline
ENtolled in verse from time Ia tlhe,
who plods along with nary rhymes
Your father.
who Is It puts the key at night -.
Beneath The mat Just 5 oHt o, iI isnti
Your father.
And when You seek Che bnrle.gnc Sho"
And want seat In the font row.
Who got the last an hour ago
Your father
who rocs along out to the track
And pt- mp when for 'a,h YOU ACE
And with Won checrilN walks backi
Your father.
Who when the pct l !. niSS s sna d lat.
soon ,"s n YS y wl,n S seven hlsh held pats
Your father.
Ard when your head begins 70 grow,
Who Is IL warns You TO 20 slow.
And tells you lots yon aunt hho"
-Cwashlngton Posi-
rrouhle in the squadron. ch What touc'y fellows
naval officers are. anyway. Almost as much so as .
church choir.
Ue-Now that You have made me the happ'e't OK
mortals. can XII, YOU ,- -, - ,,so,,i
She ,G.sion glrl-Ncver having had any pcsohsi
ex,crionce of your osculatory abilities Mr. He,ner'
! do not know il You can, but you may.-(Pck Ne Up.
The latest verbal monstrosity suggested Is the
word "manuprnt' to be used u verb. adjective W
noun for work done with the typewr.ting machine
A case came up IN the Court over which Jadse Brlii
nr,,ides in Il. Haul. In which biz colOred wons.
Mas A witness. she testified that she had whpp1
| her iitis severely. ana Ncut ui VIZ.
| The story Of the exceedingly still beating she naa
administered. the Judges clear brow grew a ittie
darker and he interrupted her 10 ask II u had peei.
necessary chastisc the boy severely The eooro
lady looted astonshed at tho question. GazhS III
| tently at the Court. she inquired ..,.
~Ied-e. you cher de- father OF ""'"'es'
muiatter hoy =
| NO no. said tho Judge hastily. - a.
"rhen Jodgc, you don't know numn apoue -
casc.n-lIinneapolls Journal