Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-01-31

Till they are men, '-~.''~
-Christian Union.
PITII AND POINT.
Eternal vigilance is the price of an UNI
brella.
The man who lives by his wits is no.
necessarily witty.
When is shirt like weary man!
When ii is done up.
Farmer-''What are you doing behind
that fencc2' Old Hen-''I'm laying for
you. "-Mc,o York San.
The rose that is sweetest and fairest
Is the bud that is killed by the frost;
And the love that is dearest and rarest
Is the true love we just have lost.
The King of Siam is said to wear
81 ,000, 900 worth of Jewels What a
hotel clerk he would make boston Bul-
letin.
The man who is most ready to give adj
vice is the one who received II great deal
that lie failed to -Binghamton
Leader.
"Comc of the perch" said the fisher
man, rs he removed the scales from Il
specimen Of the finny tribe.-Kearney
(NeJ.) Enterprise.
1t is human nature TO justify indulgence
lin high priced pleasures by the proviso
that a fraction of the cost goes to charity.
philadelphia Inquirer.
The blizzard season has opened i'll the
great Northwest, and it looks us if the
crop was going to be something to blow
about.-Boston Herald.
Amy-"What makes young De Swim
scowl so all the whilcl" .Iack-''Hc has
TO, you know, in order to make his eye
glass stay on."-Iime.
One reason why fat man doesn't
catch cold as easily rs lean man, is be-
cause he is so much wrapped up in him
self. Burlington Free Press.
A. woman who favors equal suffrage
wants to know if it is crime to he a
woman. No, but it is not manly. We
will say no more.-Boston Transcript.
In this world it will never pay
To give way to sorrow:
Tho dog that's underneath to-day
May he OIL top Tomorrow.
Judge
, There is q sting TO the most honeyed
remark, rs for instance, when your hus-
band pctulantly remarks. ''My dear,
wish you'd bee still Richmond Re
cortler
Old Gentleman-''I don't know what
to make of the coming generation" One
of the Coming Gcncration-''Wcll,y you
can make me your son-in-law If you want
to."-EpOch.
points on Bees" heads column OF
apiaristic information in an exchange. A
well equipped bee needs no points save
the one nature endowed it with. -Dans.
Uile Bree.e.
No, Cedric, the small boy who has
been doing wrong could hardly be called
IA locksmith because mt his fathers ap
proach he makes Il bolt for the door,
Yale Record
Dick Jagged eight, with disguised air.
to Tommy aged ten, whose efforts al
telling ga whopper" were not Il success)
--'If yer agoin' Ter lie, why don't yei
Stand up ter it like MANI"
Clerk-''I see by the papers that Mr..
Bliffiers is going to be married." En-.
ployer-"G snakes! Run around tc
his Office and collect this bill before it is
too late. "--Neio Yorh Weekly.
al should like something little his
torical in character" "How would
Tho Last Days Of Pompeii' suit you?"
"Hum! What did he die off" Gan
eruption, believe. "-Judqe
"You are regular miser!" exclaimed
Mrs. Snooper, when her husband refused
to give her twenty-five dollars she asked
for. mo, not Il miser," replied Snoop.
err; 'merely an econo-mizer. "-Harper',
Baz0r.
r. William Marshall, a boy sixteen years
old, picked up an old shell OH the Chat
tanooga battlefield last week, and took if
to his home. The next morning he free
the end of Il stick and thrust it into the
shell. The adjournment was sine die.
Sumway-'I am in hopes of getting
an appointment in the Agricultural De.
partment." AIaddox-"What qualifica.
tions have you9 You don't know any.
thing about agriculture, do you?" Sum.
way-"Well, Pm getting pretty seedy.r
-Muasey's Weekly.
Landlady Faircur (who has lust had
her dining room walls repapered)-"By
the way, Mr.. Longstay, how do YOU like
our new border?" CONSERVATION of Mr.
Longstay, who is under the impression
that Mrs. Faircurl is abiding to Mr..
Meekman opposite, who has just arrived.
-A'yosy.