The Forrest City times., 1890-09-06

 style, and might have been taken for lady had she been seen in a place where ladies go.
 fro BE CONTINUED.
 In doubtful state Wonder If she loves mep--Bost Herald.
 If mans salvation depended upon woman He'll would be tenantless--.dsh- land Press
 A man must get right down to his work In order to get up in the world Wifkesbarre Record.
 There is no accounting for taste ex. cept on the principle that some people haven't any, Boston Post.
 A mans greatness makes his family great; u woman's greatness makes her family insignificant. Atchison Globe.
 A man is like an omnibus. When he is fnl. of drinks he thinks there Is room for one more.-Bostoa Con,mer- ciuh
 Never mind about 'tempering the wind to the shorn lamb;" what the shorn lambi is after is some way to raise the wind. Puck.
 Many man who says, Get thee be- hind me, Satan" does so with the as surance that Satan will get there-with both feet. t.--Puek
 The attitudes which some people strike after doing what 1t is their plain duty to do would make dancing master blush. Puck.
 This ain't dwarf! He's over five feet talln .'That's the great thing about him. He is the tallest dwarf in the world. ."-N r Snn Meet your wife with smile on your lips" says an exchange. Better wait until the odor of the smile" has abatcd somewhat. though. = 7cxas Syt- tngs.
 1 Hearing the bad things others say 1 about him does not convince man 1 that he has faults so much as it proves to him that others are liars .itchisoa | Globe.
 | Faddles-"Did ever tell you that story about my uncle md the snake?" | Swaddles -~.'You did. my boy and Ed rather believe it than hear 1t again. ''- --Harper's Weekly,
 Did you pass the last examination 9a said Senator to rather rapid son. Well. er-no; didu't just exactly pass it. I laid down my hand as t were. n-- Washingtoa Post. Corker (who is no connoisscnrJ-- Yes, Brown, bottled that claret my self,m Brown--s,I should think. old | fellow. that you'd put some of i, in cruets. "-Ameriean Grocer.
 Il don't know what to do with my son. He has failed in business and I professional life and appears to ba good for nothing" Why don't you buy him seat in Congresspn Llfe.
 The Justices were all present to try I an excise case. Gentlemen" said the prosecuting attorney. "l desire to with. draw this suit from this court. feel l the bias of full bench. ."-N. !. Sun. Somehow a man feels much worse | the day after he has lost an hours sleep on account of the baby than he does the day after hc has lost five hours sleep at the club. Atchisoa | Globe.
 Doctor-"Take cereal food for break. l A0st HI htstA 7iA II NtAt BtAH tth NVH' derfully." Patient (next morning)-
 'Barkeeper, gimme a little old rye. Must follow doctors orders. "" Aiase apolis Journal.
 Mumby Say. whom two trains col 1 lide they call il telescope don't theyps Dumlcy "Yes; whyp" Mumby -- Nothing. only l was wondering why they didn't call 1t coilideoscope. "" And how did yca likc the service al our church last eycniuge" "rherel So It was religious service? could not have told whether it was religious service or grand opera I'm awfully near sighted. you know" Boston 7ranscript
 If Heaven had high board fence round 1t you'd see dozens of pesky sin. ners trying to climb in on each other's shoulders way down in tho far corner while the gatckeeper's attention wal held by . single dead-head in front. = Assia,id Press.
 Willets -sTell me. really. are yoA just as happy now you are married as you werc whom you were engaged ?" Millets-" Why. certainly. Her father pays all of her expenses just the same as he did before we were married. "--
 Tsrre Hante Erprsss Mir. Rich--"M My daughter. I wish YOU would busy yourself about something. and not be forever reading those silly novels" But, my dear father. you ought to be perfectly contented that you have such wealthy heiress for a daughter. Flisgends B'aitcr
 Two college boys were guessing each others ages ''To judge by your i'm. mature and amateur jokes, you're about l6," said Bill. ITO judge by your antique and mossy jests. you're about 200" replied Bob. and honors were easy.-Proridence Telegram. Mother--''I don't approve of your carrying on with Mir. Staylatc as you did in the parlor Inst night. You sat too close together" Alice = Why. mother, there was chair between us" Mother--"Yes; but there should have been two. ."-LaWrenc Americdn. Do you believe in the saving "A lit. tie knowledge ii dangerous thinga'" asked one Congressman of another. T guess so; why do you aske" ii oc- SuttVu to iuc that u US correct thero are lot of fellows tap hero who arc taking great chances = Washington Post
 Philosopher Cat tho thcatcr)--" is most remarkable to me how that hero aud heroine eau act so vividly. like truly impassionsd lovcrs." Theater Habituc-'On the stage those two are man and wife" Philosopher es, it's renaskble-very remarkable. ."-N r. Weekly.
 A young man was calling on Con- gressman's daughter the other evening when the father appeared at tho par Tor door. May l come inp" he asked. hcsitatingly. 70. yea" she answered. you may. but we have . quorum without you Then hs didn't. = RasA- tagfos Sfar.
 Charles Dickens once said. Do nothing In the dark" He was right. nx every man who haa sSsr.<~a S,.