Mohave County miner., 1890-07-26
WIT AND HUMOR.

| Circumstances sitter cases--nsPsciall!
financial circumstances In Legal csscf
Puck.
One would naturally expect 70 ma
muggy atmosphere In beer saioon
zsrTs Hanle Ezpren.
Crying piece when there is no pleoa
hoy asking for pie when the Panir,
Il empty. --Boston Herald.
WAS Miss Yellowlears porfraif
good likenessa" 1T must have been
SSbs refused 70 take it from the artist.
Life.
Talk about dress AZ you please. bu'
n 4 The man employed at tho abattoi
who wears the Killing costumes. 7
Boston C9srier.
Itis strange tlIas tho man who l, !.
dead Ia love with himself SHOULD y
hated by everybody who knows him.--'
Boston Transcript
60 where duty calls. but turn IN anei
help When you get there. Don't STAND
seound WITH jaaf hands IN your pock'
cts. - sras Sysfngs.
Little Freddy docking NJ the ayPe..
writer In his fathers ofiice)--Wha'
makes typewriters 70. papaP Papa
your mother. r-.1ims.
Yes, there is plenty Of room at tbs
top, and there always viii be unless
facilities for getting there are improy-
Cd. BiaGamsos Herald.
Bcunced--..How did you come out
| In your Interview with Miss Billions
faiherp" Through the window. -
~ y Commercial Advertiser.
ibid you have spicy call7" she
asked. sarcasticaliy after his return
frori the haunt Of the festive Glove be-
tween the acts. Detroit Free Press.
II your heart IL larger than your
head you injure yourself. and II your
head Is larger than your heart you In.
lure your neighbor. --Atehison Globe.
Tommy" Paw, what is the last
word IN The dictionaryP- Mr.. Figg--
~ don't know. Uog't bother me. Go
| ask your mother."-7sre Haute Err
press.
The partner who fixes up the books
10 the manifest advantage OF his own
department Of the ledger may be called
. victim OF add-vice. Merchant ITdr-
eier.
There Il one point In favor Of tho
man that laughs at his own jokes. Yorl
are never in doubt rs to whether he
intended to be funny.-1eTe Hauts
Express.
You wantto know how to cvaporate
apples, Amanda2 Just leave them out
where the small boys can get at them.
II they don't eyaporate then they never
will. Time.
Fond Husband--"My dear, you know
! promised you diamond necklace
this year. Helpful Wife-"I know
you did. but let IL go-the water pipes
burst last night."--M T. Weekly.
Visitor The portrait is very fine,
but you seem to have devoted more
time to the hands than TO the face
Artist - That's 90. You see the
hands pay over the money.'-7eras
6ytings.
Peter-'On your prospects viii de-
pend my acceptance OF you as SON
iu.law.s would-be Son-in-law--''H'm!
Well, my prospects depend entirely on
your Acceptance Of me az your son-in-
law."--Lye.
DIR. Killiman-"Good morning. Mr..
Berrywell. How's business?" MIR. Der.
rywell (undertaker) Very good,
thank your (To get the full force Of
this joke bear down very hard on the
word you".)-Ls.
She (suggestively) = Harry. fsnt
that Q grand picture Of the 'Angelus'?
Those poor peasants bowling for min
ute in prayer when they hear the
church bell that tells them it issupper-
time. ~ Y. Sum
A man who was deeply in debt was
sick unto death. "Ah." he sighed. IF
1 could only live until had paid oif
my debts" "Humph" sneered the
doctor bluntly, ''you want to live for
ever, do youf"--1ezas siffings.
Mr.. Waxear-.Glad to see young
Tocksin up in the choir, MIR. Chorister.
Estimable young man; well read in the
law. too" Chorister-"He may he
read in the law, my friend. but he's
yeller in the choir" Konkers o.
seftc.
Charles Tin love)--"But You should
sec her eyes wien she is angry. They
flash like lightning" John (been
there)-"Yes, or when she's looking
for new beau. Then she keeps 'em
peeled like thunder. W. inghamton Re-
publican.
Jones--"Hello. Smith; back from
the West again, eh? What did you do
out thereT Smith--"Started paper"
Jones' AHA! What was the name of
itg" Smith-"A subscription paper TO
get me back East again. n--Bnrlington
Free Press.
IL don't see how Mrs. McGay can
afford to wear SO many tips on her hat.
There Is a row Of them all the way
round the brim." afford il? won.
der that she hasn't the whole hat made
OF tips. Her husband Is hotel waiter,
you know. Nudge.
Attorney--..And now, Mr.. McCarty,
we will hear your opinion, as an ex-
pert, of the building" Contractor Ne.
Carlyle was bad. very bad. sor. 1t |
couldn't have been q worse Job, your
Amer. il 1t had been paid for in adj |
vance. "-7erre Haute Express.
Woman--.Herc. take this coat"
Tramp-'I know it's going to be . |
hard winter, but style or nothing Is my
motto. Fashion DEGREES that single
breasted ulsters shall be worn, and Won
will notice, madam. that this coat has |
two rows Of buttons. l cannot take it,"
. B0sf0n Hsr1Id