River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1890-08-28
PlTh AND POINT.

The future is serious natter,
but it never becomes really serious until
it is the present-Puck.
How sad it makes man feel TO OBJ
serve a fve-dollar straw hat on a seven
cent head.-Kearney Enterprise.
-He-"I'l never marry a strong
minded woman" She-"No: / don't
think you will. "-Terre Haute Express.
-Doctor-"You must he very careful
about your diet" Dashaway-''rhats
all right, doctor. My landlady attends
to that"-N. Y. Sun.
-Razzle-"How much did you pay for
tn az dress suit you had the other even
ing?" Dazzle-"Fifty cents an hour"
-Clothier and Furnisher.
-Sheepskins in pickle are all right,
but we always feel sorry when the owner
of the vat is in the same condition
Shoe and Leather Reporter.
She-''What strong face he has"
He-"Yes: that comes from exercise.
He has been travelling on it for many
years "-Terre Haute Express
The papers are discussing the ques-
ton, How 10 tell good egg" but it
seems to us the easiest way is to break
il open and smell it--Ram's Horn.
A serious need these days is gas
meter that is int ligent enough to know
when the family IS at the seaside and
honest enough 10 say so.-Binghamton
Leader.
The rapid young man who spends
all his salary for carriage hire may love
the wealthy young lady very dearly and
have his eve ON the rebate also.-Gal-
weston News.
-'Jove! Mary. the house is on fre!"
We'll, get up as quick as you can, and
cover the furniture with rubber sheets
and put on your bathing suit before the
hose company gets here. "-Harper's
Bazaar.
An advertisement is headed:
"Pianos on Trial" On the charge of
disturbing the peace" it is presumed.
1t is hoped they will be convicted and
locked up for a term of years. Nor
ristown Herald.
Old Moneybags-''It grieves me, my
son, that you should be so wild. When
was young | vas better boy than
you are" Moneybags, Junior dare
say you had better father than |
have. Light
-Wife-"You dance a great deal bet
ter than you did before we were mar
ried. Then you always tore my dress
dancing, but you don't now" husband
-"Humphl Then | didn't have to pay
for it." Texas Siftings.
-Bacon-'I never saw such fellow
as young Bender. He can't keep dol
lar five minutes" Egbert-"He can't?"
NO" We'll, think he can. Iloaned
him five dollars month ago, and he's
got it yet"-Yonkers Statesman
Little Sister-'I know who's going
to call tonight; it's Harry" Big Sis
ter-''How do you know" Little Sis
ter-''You picked out his picture and
put it on the mantel where he would
see it, and took down Mr.. Jones' and
laid his away until Sunday night
Boston Herald. asa
Eyed Spectator lat the racesl-
Il lost $50 on the last race. DID you
lose any thing" Sporting Man-''Naw,
Didn't bet" Sc. S.-''What! You
didn't bet on that great race, the great
est race of the season? Why not?" 5.
MI didn't know which boss was
goin' ter beat"-N Y. Weekly.
Mr.. Backbay-''You found things
very differenGt West from what they
are here. | suppose" Miss Beacon
''Yes, indeed. As journeyed westward
/ noticed constantly the decreasing
signs of refinement" Mr.. Backbay-
What, for instance?' Miss Beacon
'Well, for example; when we reached
Chicag, | found that boys no longer
came through tho train selling chewing
gum. America.