Tombstone epitaph., 1890-06-28
THE AGENTS DEFEAT.
Ke Strikes Lady Who Knew 8n Abou
 photography.

ne SIrak'S LaUy 70 10 hneW q II ADOut
 IhOtoGr.; ply.
 Scene: Suburban residence. A gen. tlemanly person awaits the coming ol the lLdy of the house, who presently ap- pears.
 He-Madam, I have taken the liberty of calling upon you to explain our new system of club pictures and to show you few specimens of our work
 Shelly dear sir. l.
 He-Quito so. You were about to ob- servo thatyou were very busy this morn ing. and besides you d-d not care for any photographs at present Your next-door neighbor said tho same thing, but, nev- ertheless, when she had seen the beau tirul pictures which l shall be pleased to show you sho decided at or.;,. 70 take a ticket for one dozen of these exouisite wor. of art
 She Qrigidly)-What my next-door neighbor does IS nothing tc me. sir, and I don't want
 He-Rcally, madam, it's no trouble, I assure you. l know you were about to observe that you q d not want to trouble mo to show you these charming speci- mems, but am persuaded that you will be delighted with them. And then they are so reasonable in price, when you take into consideration the high grade of wor,f, thati6 is positively like giving them away.
 She Gmpatiently)-Sir, Ihavo no time to-
 He-No time to sit for pictures just now you wore about to say, but I can as- sure you there is no time limit about this system. You merely give me fifty cents in exchange for the coupon, and call at the gallery whenever it suits your convenience, pay five dollars moro, and have your sitting. You are then en- titled to one dozen elegant imperials and ore copy of th.s new and beautiful dis covery of the art, callel-
 She-See here. you, sir. I want you to understand that if had my way I would put every photographer in the country in jail. Pictures, indeed! Do you see the stains all over my carpet? That's where my husband, who is an amateur photogra pher, split some of his chemi- calls. Do you see the hole burnt in that piano cover? That's where he ruined it by trying to take a flash light picture and came near setting the house a-fre. to say nothing of frightening the baby into convulsions. There's scarcely a decent piece of crockery in the houso that has escaped being utilized as de- veloping dish, or for some other such purpose.
 He-But, my dear madam
 She-Don't dear me. 1 know your vile tricks, sir. If it hadn't been for your miserable art-art, indeed!-my house would not resemble a pig-pcn. Look at my mantel-pieces, closets, tables and Lath-ruom, and, in fact, look at the whole housel It is filled from top to bottom with some evidence of your vile trade. Five dollars a dozenl would not give you five cents for all the trash you can make. I've had pho tography for breakfast, dinner and sup per till I'm sick of it. and if you don't get out of this house this minute I'll call the hired man to set the dog on you.
 Medically, madam, I'm sorry
 She-No, you're not. That's what you always say-that's what my husband says when he has ruined some fresh thing with his nasty compounds. That's what he said when he split muriatic acid over the front breadth of my new evening dress. Sorry! Now tell you what, if you don't get outside that door in something less than no time you will have cause to be sorry in earnest. And just you remember to tell at the next house you go to up the road that their next neighbor didn't decide at once to take ticket.
 Gentlomc rly person beats nasty re- treat.-N. Y. Sun.