Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1890-08-14

A Very Different Matter-A Hint
Evaded-Giving bis Sister Away,
Etc, Etc.
WHY, on, wHr2
Samson-Since your marriage, no
doubt, the question has often occurred
TO you whether marriage is failure.
Thompson-Not exactly; but am
continually asking myself, "Why did
consider ,bachelOrhood failurer-l
Epoch.
HORRIBLE PUNISHMENT. OF A RUSSIAN.
''What horrible punishment ex-
claimed Cumso, as he laid down the
newspaper.
"What is it, love?" asked his wife.
can American gentleman in st.
Petersburg has made a Russian eat his
words. p-INew York Sun.
WISE LITTLE SISTER.
Little Sister-I know who's going to
call tonight; it's Harry.
Big Sister-How do you know9
Little Sister-You picked ont his pic
ture and put it ON the mantel where he
would see it, and took down Mr.. Jones'
and laid it away until Sunday night.
Boston Herald.
AVERY DIFFERENT MATTER.
sTs that love letter." asked one law
yer of another, who was poring busily
over some closely written sheets.
"oh, no." replied the other confuse P
ly. .'It's only writ of attachment. "
Bonneville Journal.
AHINT EvADED.
GLOW warm it isl" said she, after fin
ish the second plate of ice cream.
''Yes," he replied, sits half melting
i really don't think it's worth while to
pay any more money for the stuff. v
Munseys Weekly.
GIVING HIS SISTER AWAY.
81 suppose, Tommy, you love your
sister very much" said the gentleman
who was paying his addresses to Tom
my's sister.
Tommy-I love her when there are
fellers around. She is mighty good to
me then, but she is as cross as the mis-
chief after they are gone. She is like a
fiddle. She is no good without beau.
Amt that SO, Fan9-[Texas Siftings.
NOTHING UNDER THE HAT.
Jones quitting on a new hat)-This
looks like the deuce on me, don't it?
Brownies; but don't be too hard
on the hat. Put something under it,
and give it chance.
PERFECTLY EASY.
''Mary, 1 love you deeply. Will you
be my wifea"
II don't know, George. Can you sup
port me2"
II think so. You have little some
thing, haven't you9"
'Yes; have 81, 800 year."
''Why, then. it's perfectly easy. am
sure we could live on $4,000 year.
FREsHLEIGH's PROPOSITION.
~ like that young Mr.. Freshleigh,
Amanda. He was graduated this year,
was he not9"
'Yes, pa. lam glad you like him, for
think he is real smart"
''He is real smart. He came to me at
my Office yesterday, and said that as he
expected to get through his vacation in
September he wanted to go into bust
ness; and what do you suppose he offered
to do9"
"What, papa9"
"Said il I'd make him full partner in
the business he'd marry you. ."-[ Bazaar.
SATISFIED.
81 don't believe in cremation.
"Why not 2"
1--WE have enough family jars in the
house now"
DECEIvING EVER.
Wife-Oh, how could you deceive m,
so2 When you told me you owned thi1
house you didn't say word about thu
two mortgages.
Hubbie-And when l used to toy will
those golden tresses you never told mt
they weren't indigenous. Il Lippincott's
HE WASN'T sUPERsTrTIoUs.
Teacher Tin grammar schooD-Youl
lesson to-day is on nouns. Nouns arr
names of things.
Small Boy-Is ghost noun!
Teacher-Yes.
Small Boy-How can it be? They
amt no such thing as ghost!-[ Bazaar.
CAUSE AND EFFECT.
Little Country Girl pointing to ,
tender little dude Mamma, what
that2
Wise Mother That's what comes o
livin' in flats. III Good News.
HURT HIS Feelings.
'What's the matter with papa's boys
asked Mr.. Smithers of his little boy.
EsMithter Bwown said I looked lik
you. - Harper's Young People.
NOT THE IMPORTED ARTICLE.
LADY, want girl.
Keeper of Intelligence Office--I hav
fifty, Just imported. @
Lady Yes, but I wish domestic. :
Howell Citizen. @
THE REASON WHY.
johnson Why is the moon ofte
spoken of as the silvcry moon2
Taaoa,.ea <~ok "a L.I...