The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-02-26
BRIGHT BITS.
AR, poor old Thomson ran a long race -
les, and after ali it was lead heat"
Why, what do you meang"
He was cremated life.

An, poor old Thompson ran long racer
Yes, and after ali it lead heat
Why, what do you meanE"
lie was cremated, life.
DowN IN KESTUcKY.-M1xNIE-O Charley.
WOULDN'T, it be delightfully."- wicked to run away
and get married:
Charley (who is up to snuff)-Splendid! Wen
40 IT, DID the old folks fix any time?-Terds
SUttHgs.
A DouBTINs THOMAS. -She-Did you let father
Know nov you owned a great deal of real estate!
She What did he say
He-He said deeds speak louder than words
MUnseys Weekly.
PAPA-it's no use talking. Emma, these Sun
gay evening meetings have got to be shortened.
NY latest gas bill was enormous.
hoIs n IN not my fault 1t wouldn't be
nan as pig If mamma didn't come into the par
lor so often.-B0stOn Herald
SMITH-You do wrong wasting your Sabbaths
as you do. Your wife tells me you are mapping
1t almost all day. Why don't you go TO church
,Jones-well, what's the difference, 1 should
IKE TO naturalization Transcript
MAMMA-Where is that pretty tool-chest your
aunt gave You Christmas?
broke.
Mamma-Mercy mel ounaughty boy! You
must have been trying to use them.-NeIo York
Weekly.
CONGRESSMAN lat home, among his constitu-
ents)-Gentlemen and fellow-citiZens; [ want
you to tell me what, in your opinion. this com.
try most needs
The Crowd with astonishing unanimity)-
shorter sessions of congress!-Nelc York
ARE you the man that weads mindsY" asked
Gus De Jay OF gentleman who had been Civ
ing an exhloitlon of his powers in his parlors
yes, SIR
Would you object to twyng to wead mineg''
Not at all. Bring it along with you any
evening" y Washington Post
THE WRONG ADDREss.-Among some old
papers sent to Texas jail for the entertain
lnent OF the inmates was the election circular
OF one OF the local candidates One of the
prisoners, who has been IN jail for over a year
looked at 1t and said: Look here boys this is
not intended for us. It is addressed To the
people at large That don't mean us.''-Terus
SDttngs.
Truly WITTY .-Tompkins-Pshawl Browns
no wit. There must be an element of surprise
in what man says TO make it wit. Don't you
agree with mea
Wilson-Perfectly. That was clever witt
clSnl you got of the other day.
Tompkins-I forget. What did say?
WIlson-You said, Here's that five 1 Dor
rowed from you.'-Harper's Bazar.
MISS BoRED-Mr Dolley. you seem to lead an
inactive sort of life; why is it that you never
do anything?
Mr. Dolley-I am waiting for an impulse.
MISS Bored docking at the ciock)-Iwish you
could have one now.
Mr. Dolley (eagerly)-Why?
Miss Bored-Because people are usually car
ried away with impulse. PHILADELPHIA Press.
A YOUNG WOMAN, wearing a high bonnet and
false friZZes, was walking down fremont
street the other day. Suddenly a gust of wind
sprang up and she uttered a wild cry
Great heaven! What's that?" exclaimed a
man VINO was standing in front OF her to his
companion. t
20, that's only girl whose bonnet has gone
off with bang" was the unfeeling reply
Boston Post.
MINISTER TO choirmaster)-The music went
splendidly this morning.
Choirmaster--Yes flatter myself it did
Minister-I am glad to see the singers give
their whole energy to the important religious
work. There is no deception in such singing as
that.
Chormaster-Well. no, should say not You
see, Mr.. Thumper, told the choir last night
that an operate manager would attend church
to-day f1r the purpose of finding some good
voices.-PhtlddeIDhia Press.