Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1890-03-13
WIT AND HUMOR

takes a day off to ride out frao ou ,
--Elmira Star. ~ pass
1t is the man who can't sinoa
seems anxious that every one s2 'la
know it KoHkers Statesman. mug
Sunday-School Teacher -oyVl..
more to be desired than great riebe.5s
Chorus of Scholars" Nothin nv VS. :
Herald. l.
You say that drinking is on. 4,
your husbands failures?n "F,il,-..I
Q, no. 1t is one of his successes = y
Y Ledger. y
The dude is regarded as in some 81.
spects the most elegant of the nv y,
patterns of cigarette-holders.- HaT
ingtoR Post. -'''
Sometimes the office seeks tho ma.
but generally the man knows w 1,ia',
the office is on his track.-Roe5e-,s.ll
Post Egpress.
Artful Dodger-"Quite a SMELL ,ro,..
haying?" Officer Quitting on the bsnI
cuffs Yes, quite a cold sDap :
Boston Herald.
Are you still out in the countries
"Out! | should say l was | am ~.
just the cost of my farm and two years'
taxes. IN T. sun ''
Her feet few read Ichabod b,,
Jonathan spoiled the climax bv sayip.
Then she must have had soar toes
-BiHghan'ton Republican.
Orderly Sergeant to Recruit rvs,
has his mouth wide OPEN goj
enough to close your REPORTING ar
paratus. "-Fiege'ade Biatter.
1t generally turns out that, sooner q,
later, every Napoleon Of FinanosS
bumps up to his sorrow against Wei
ington of Justice. PHILADELPHIA Press
The real autocrat of the breakfas
table wears a big apron carries a tray
and doesn't bring in tho coffee until f.
gets good and ready Washington Post
There are few things in the world
really worth getting angry about but
there are lots of things that iustifya
man in getting mad -SomerUiile join.
nal.
They say all good Americans 90 to
Paris when they die. yes. ali ey.
cept the messenger boys Where 5o
they go?" To Philadelphia. n-N. I
San.
Agnes-'T should think those long
tunnels would be very dangerous while
travelling" Mabel-"They are, if Won
are not engaged. Burlington Ire
Press
He-"They say it takes three geuer.
ations to make a gentleman" She
Indeed! What pleasant prospec.
for your grandson. y Ciothier and Fur.
nisber.
Briggs-"So you got the cook fired,
did you? How did you work itg
Braggs II pretended to find a re.
semblance between her and first wife
-Ierre Haute Express.
Cholly - q am practcing on the
typewriter every day now" Molie-
II thought there was remarkable
Improvement in your counting here
lately. ~ Ierre Haute EIpress.
How would you like to sing in our
church choir?" asked the deacon.
Thank YOU she replied, sweetly,
"but | never had any ambition in the
way Of light opera. - Washington Post
A man has to have moral courage to
refrain from looking sidewise at the
letter his next neighbor in the horse.
car is diligently reading. woman
can't do it, anyway. SomerCaie JON.
nal.
What is Old Probabilities" asked
Willie, who had been listening to the
conversation about the weather. II
is glaring misnomer,n replied an old
gentleman with a sigh. Washington
POST
Sucker (who lives on his friends
'What's them2 Beets? No, thanks
never eat beets Blunt Does you
credit, old man. 1t would look lli'
tie like cannibalism, that's a fact.
Boston Transcript.
Helpful Wife-"Why is it, my dear
that although YOU have so often been
nominated for Office you have always
been defeated?n Defeated Candldae
(gloomily)-"I have always run On
taxpayers tickets. ~ Y Ueeklg
"A penny for your thoughts ez'
claimed Miss Amy to young GosIln
20, awI don't want to wob you IKE
that, doncher know replied GoslA
and then he couldn't see why every
body laughed so uproariously-A l.
Sun.
Fenderson-"W What is the reason
wonder, that that fellow comes heT9
every day or two to make a fool
himself?H Fogg-'I don't know ua
less it is he believes in doing in Bon'
as the Romans do Boston IfaF
script
Binks (after long absence) ANA
how is Jinks getting along2 IS pc
madly in love with Miss De Pretty z :
eyer?' Friend-"O he's all over tla1
You don't say so.' Eyes, inqeeg
Been married to her a year. -. "
Weekly
Mrs. Gray-"And has the Rev 4l
Blacks ministry been a very success
one among the people here Ms
White-"O, yes, indeed! Why VI
had his salary raised no less than l...
times since he came.'-BoS50" 4'''
script
Miss Simper-"Do YOU know A'-