Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1890-07-12
DON'T Be TOO SMART.
EXPERIENCE OF AN ovER-c0NFIDENT
LONDON JEWELER.
and is Swindled in Fine
Style.

We were sitting in the smoking-room of
an old transatlantic steamer The wind
was blowing great guns and the steamer
was rocking frightfully.
We had been playing whist all day and
everyone was tired out. Conversation had
become burdensome.
Grim discomfort was on every face.
Suddenly the door opened and little
man with an ulster down to his heels and
an old military hat set rakishly over the
left ear walked in.
Scott sci Dank !" cried Mr.. Schmitz,
German banker from Buffalo. Here
comes the doctor Sit down, sit down,
mein lieber freund, and tell US some of
your jokes. declare, we're almost on the
verge of despair. I'm HImmelswillen,
have pity on us and cheer us up, liebster
doctor"
Boys" said the doctor, ''let's have
punch. There's nothing like a good
punch on a night like this. No, Herr
Schmitz, no jokes tonight. l don't feel
in the humor for them. But if you like
Pill tell you a tale of some London sharpers
which will make your hair curl"
The doctor lighted fresh cigar, took
another sip of punch, and then went on:
Have any of you ever been in Leaden-
hall street, London? Well, right opposite
the Bank of England and about FIVE min
utes' walk from the Mansion House, where
the Lord Mayor lives, there was in 1879
the shop of an enormously weal thy watch
maker whose watches were famous the
world over.
One dreary November morning there
entered man into his shop, whose loud
dress and louder manner impressed the
jeweler disagreeably. He looked at the
staggering fellow, sized him up in iiffy,
and tipping his clerks the wink to be extra
careful, stepped forward and said in his
sharpest tone, 'Well, sir?"
The fellow was not bit abashed.
"Aw," he said in an unmistakabe low
cockney voice, "ys ave been very 'ighly
recommended to me-fact is, | want to get
about thousan' puns" meaning a thou
sand pounds) worth of watches from you.
i am going to the West Indies by to-mor-
rows steamer and / want to make this
little investment on me own haccount."
"Now, remember, me good friend" he
added, laughingly, my name is cash,
cash, We know. So | want no fancy prices,
but everything frst-class and bottom
rates"
The jeweler, keeping a sharp lookout all
the while, showed HIM his various styles,
and IN a very short time the fellow Sc
lected about thousand pounds worth of
watches.
"Well," he said, 'iust hadd this up,
will We, and let me see 'ow much we ave
'ere"
Just 1892 and Is shillings," said the
jeweler.
every well; 'ere's thousen puns. Just
wrap up the swag and gi' me change, will
yep
THE JEwELER WAS SHARP.
Aha, thought the jeweler, now comes
the rub | am up to you, my fine fellow.
! bet the note is forgery.
"You must excuse me" he said, after
fumbling a little while at his safe, "but l
can't change this note. Just sit down
few minutes and I'll send the boy over to
the bank"
Here, John, take this to the bank"
And then in an undertone he added
"Just find out if the bill is good Don't
cash it; | have plenty OF change here"
The stranger calmly seated himself and
quietly conversed with the jeweler about
various Indifferent topics.
In a few minutes the boy returned.
"The note is perfectly good" he said
softly TO his employer.
The merchant was puzzled. Was 1t
possible that he, one of the shrewdest men
7 ,hnn hn ctol-
Has he sized up his man wrongly?
However there was nothing else 10 be
done So he handed the man his change
and the package of watches.
NUMBER TWO APPEARS
He was Just about to inquire by what
steamer he was going to leave when the
door opened and another if possible more
countenance swell mob man" was written
in unmistakable letters, walked in.
He looked at the first fellow, and with
narrowly, he slapped him laundering
whack on the shoulders and cried out:
"Hullo, Jack what in Gods name are
you doing 'ere?"
"Hullo, Joe, where in ell do you come
The divil we did lam ere Just on the
same herrand. And what did you buy
watches for 2"
II am going to the West Indies"
''By the holy poker, 50 am l. What
steamer
1.-THE Jamaica"
"Deuce take it all, so am l. Well, now
me good fellow, Just stay ere till Pm done,
! don't want to carry the same stuff you do.
Just 'elp me select"
"Of course | will. 'Ow much are you
going to investY
"Well, about thousand puns"
''Well, if that don't beat the hold AIRY.
! Just got rid of cool thousen to that
bloated haristocrat there myself. But I'll
stay, I'll stay"
The ieweler by this time had become
thoroughly awake. He felt sure the coup
was now coming, and he doubled his watch
fuiness.
With due care he displayed his goods,
and the two fellows had soon selected
another thousand pounds worth OF
watches.
Like number one, thousand-pound note
was offered in payment by number two.
This time the jeweler felt sure that the
note was a forgery.
TO THE BANK AGAIN.
~ Just told your friend, said he, ''that
j haven't change enough in my safe. 1t is
annoying, but if you'll kindly wait a
moment I'll send the boy over to the bank
with the note. Just make yourself COM
Portable, gentlemen; the boy will be back
in an instant"
In few minutes the boy returned, and
again he muttered:
THE note is perfectly good"
The ieweler felt more astonished than
ever After all he had been mistaken in
these two suspicious-looking characters
and his sharpness was at fault. He could