davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1890-09-17
THE BALD-kEADED MAN.

Ono would think to read the papers discourse
ing on the fly,
The grounds for his creation and tho various
reasons why, g. ~.
That the underlying motive, tho real objective
plan,
Was to get another whack at
The bald-headod man.
Now the fly is no respeoter OF persons or Of
40 lights wherever fancy or tho scent of easne
dictates;
His object is to suck up oil the juices that he
can,
And no is no Nemesis OF
Tho bald-headed man.
The fly has been created for . scientific use,
And there Is no use OF hunting up thinly-clad
excuse;
He was made to give reporters, ever since the
world began,
Another chance TO riGicule
The bald headed man.
You may talk Of sticky paper and lay trains Of
dynamite
But tho fly will live and flourish. as he always
has, in spite,
And the paragraphing punsters from Beer,
sheba to Dan
viii keep up their persecution Of
The bald.headed man.
But let them oil remember there was once a
prophet old
To whom the sportive urchins, in wickedness
made bold,
Remarked: go up thou bald,headr' when
out the big bears ron
And swallowed up tho scoffers of
The bald.headcd man.
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1890-09-17
NAPOLEON'S HABITS.
The Latest Anecdotes Of tho Great EN-
per0r of the French.

The Latest Anecdotes of tho Great EN-
peror of the French.
Napoleon, we are told. was dressed
every morning by the valet in attend
ance. He did not don single garment
himself; eventually, however, he was
induced to shave himself 1t happened
in this wise: In 1903 the head valet,
Hambard, pleaded ill-health as an ex-
cuse for not accompanying his master to
Boulogne. ''Who is to shave me?"
asked Napoleon, for Hambard had regu-
larly discharged this duty. Hambsrd
suggested Constant, who, foreseeing
this emergency, had been diligently
taking lessons on humber chins and
had acquired proficiency. He had no
easy task, for Napoleon, while under
going the operation, would talk, read
the newspapers, and fidget in his chair,
sometimes sitting as stiff as statue
and declining to bend his head an inch.
Great care was necessary to avoid cut
ting his face. :..e~ ,.f-.~}..-t...
Another popularity was that he in
sisted on one side being lathered and
shaved before the other was touched
When Constant got free enough with
him to venture on the step, he urged on
Napoleon the desirability Of his learn
+ ing to shave, as he himself might be i'll
: or absent, and Napoleon would not like
to be operated on by . stranger. Ma
poleon was, with some difficulty, in
duced to try the experiment. but, of
course, he experimental only on him
self, and did not, therefore, acquire pro-
fessi onal proficiency. Very clumsy at
first, he gradually became tolerably ex-
pert On one point, however, he was
obstinate-he persisted IN moving the
fazor downward instead Of upward, and
!, occasional cuts were the consequence.
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1890-09-17

8BrandenburR Gate Il built on the
model Of the Propylma Of Athens;
that It is surmounted by quadriga
driven by Victory; that It IL fanked by
d guRrd.house. whose guard Is kept busy
saluting and presenting arms to the
numerous military big-wigs who are
constantly passing; and, finally, that all
its splendor Is sham, and It's Doric COL
umns simple stucco. Let Us note also
that the Thiergsrten 10 trsversed by
lines of horse-cars.
Turning eastward, We will stroll along
Inter den Linden, and note such things
a. may strike our eyes. The first OBJ
servation that we make is that the f..
nous linden trees are not 80 regularly
planted or so dourishing rs we expect
ed to find them, and the second is that
Inter den Linden Is badly kept, in.
differently paved, and . mere quag-
mire when the rain falls. The divid-
ing posts and rails are even more ele-
mentary and unpleasing than those
which disgrace Rotten Row in London,
while the benches are the most primi-
tive that could be imagined. On the
right we notice the handsome palace Of
Count Redeem. reproduction. of D.
Florentine building. Then come some
picture shops, where something pink
and delicate of Gabriel Max attracts
the eye. Here is q, terra-cotta store,
full of busts of the Kaisers, of Bis
marck. and Of .Moltke. We reach the
Kaisergallerie. = fine arcade less
splendid than the Victor Emmanuel
arcade at. Milan, but still laudable
effort in the Renaissance style, and as
good as yellow brick and terra Gotta can
make it. The Kaisergallerie is lined
with shops that do not seem prosperous;
in the middle is Wiener Cafe. which
has marked Importance in the eyes of
of young bloods of Berlin; on the up
per floors Of the arcade is the wax-work
show called Castan's Panopticum, the
Musee Grevin of Berlin. We cross the
Friedrichstrassee and note the quaint
| aspect of the drivers of the yellow
parcels-post vans, who seem lost in their
vast seats on the top, and much ham,
pered by the brazen horn slung under
their arms with red and white cord.
Then we take cup of coffee at the
Cafe Bauer, glance around at the va
| rious types at the tables, discreetly
sheltered from the gaze Of curious pass
ers, by thick hedge of shrubs. and
after this brief rest we stay to look at
nothing until we reach the monument
of Frederick the Great, at the eastern
extremity of Inter den Linden.-Theo-
dore Child, in Harper's Magazine.
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1890-09-17
INTER DEN LINDEN.

Orapnlc ron Ilcture OF the German Cap
ttaTs Famous Boulevard.
The great sights and wonders of Der.
lin are concentrated along the famous
avenuo Untcr den Linden and in the
vicinity of the old Schloss, whittier the
visitor will inevitably direct his steps,
and where he will certainly acquire his
most imposing and durable impressions
of the German capital. We will sup
pose that he reaches Un:er den Linden
through the Friedrichstrasse, one of the
largest, busiest and most brilliant
streets of Berlin, lined with shops of all
kinds, and intorspersed with several re-
markable new buildings in the old Ger
man style, devoted to the sale of beer.
Gambrinus is the most liberal and
enlightened patron Of. architecture
In modern Berlin. The intersection of
Friedrichstrasse and Inter den Linden
Is peculiarly busy and characteristic
spot On one corner is an old-fashioned
''conditorei," or pastry-cook's shop,
with little terrace barely two foet
wide, which forms pleasant vantage
point whence to view the spectacle of
the street as you sip coffee and eat
cakes. On the opposite corner is the
Cafe Bauer, which the Berliners hold to
be ono of tho sights of the capital-a
modern Viennese cafe arranged in the
most approved style, lighted by cleo
tricity. and decorated with brilliant
colored classical frescoes by A. de
Werner and Wilberg. representing the
joys and luxury of the Greeks and
Romans. At another corner, under
the trees, is q Trinkhalle for the sale
OF non-spirituous drinks, such al
sirups, seltzer and soda, presided over
by patient Gretchen of the class
called by the Berliners "Sodalisken,
In contradistinction to the ''Kellner-
innen" and "Schankmamsells," who
serve in beer saloons and ''Kneipen,"
or tap-rooms of low degree. The traf-
flc here is crowded; there are vans,
drays, omnibuses, small carts drawn by
dogs, a few private carriages and guam
titles of cabs, or ''Droschken," as they
are called, the last of two categories,
first and second class, the one as unde-
sirable as the other. In the middle of
tho roadway a mounted policeman sits
his horse with an air of corpulent au-
thority and austere uselessness. Inter
den Linden stretches to the right and
Left 100 feet broad, 1900 yards long,
planted with four rows of chestnut and
lime trees, and divided into road
ways, foot-paths and riding tracks.
At one end of this avenue is the Brand
enburg Gate, which forms the entrance
to the Thiergarten, very much as the
Arc de Triomphe at Paris marks the en-
trance to the great fashionable prom
enade of the Bots de Boulogne. The
Brandenburg Gate is effective, whether
We look at it from the pretty Pariser-
platz or from the Thiergarten side,
where its architectural lines contract
with the surrounding verdure, and
form the background of familiar scenes
of elegant life in Berlin, such as the
equestrian groups of hrilliantly-uni-
formed officers and smart ladies going
to or returning from the morning ride
in the park. Tho reader will not
DO astonished to learn that the
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1890-09-17

u While not lifting % finger TO ifsss
3himself, Napoleon dispensed with as.
sistance In Undressing; but he flung his
garments all over the room--his watch
some 'n hines q, " missing the table or bed at
which 1t was aimed and falling broken
on the floor. As to dress he despised
dandies, never wore rings, and abomi.
mated scents, except eau dc cologne, with
which he was often rubbed. and which
was his specific for bruises. When
c0attails became shorter he stuck to
the old-fashioned until Constant got the
tailor to shorten them by imperoeptible
gradations' He disliked tightly-fitting
clothes, found new hat uncomforta.
BILE, though lined with silk and wad-
ding, and stuck to an old one as long as
possible. He putt on every morning q
clean white waistcoat, with knee
breaches to, matoh-he never wore
trousers; but as he habitually wiped his
pen on his breaches after three or four
washings they were done with. s.
Constant denies, however, the com.
mon story Of his keeping snuff loose in
his waist-coat pocket. He always used
snuf-box, and, though he frequently
took Q pinch. he simply held it to his
nose and then dropped all or nearly all
on the floor. His snuff injured the car
pet, not his waistcoat. Smoking he
never tried but once. An Oriental Am
bassador had presented him with q
chibouk. TWAS filled and lit for him,
but he merely opened and shut his lips
instead Of drawing. When at last he
was induced to draw the smoke went
down his throat and came out at his
nose. He felt queer for an hour, de.
claimed against the habit as 1T only for
lazy people, and never touched pipe
again.-London Spectator.
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1890-09-17
ENGLAND'S LATEST GOBBLE.
Tho Strategic Importance Of the Famous
Straits of Ormu1.

Tho Strategic Importance Of the Famous
Straits of Ormu1.
The first fruits of the Shah's visit to
England last year are apparent An
English company under royal protection
has been granted control of the Straits
of Ormuz, which connect the Persian
Gulf with the Arabian Sea This Writ
ually gives England control of the gulf
and is menace to the forward move
ments of Russia. England has been ex-
ceedingly shrewd in getting possession
of strategic points throughout the world,
and of all that she has been possessed
Calais and Heligoland alone have been
surrendered. She now controls the
Straits of Gibralter. the Suez Canal, the
Strits of Ormuz, the harbor of Hong
Kong, the Bermudas, and numerous
other points that give an immense ad-
vantage over any other nation in the
world.
But the movements in Persia just
now are very interesting: When the
Shah got home last fall he sat himself
down and thought over his trip and
concluded that Mobilization was not such
bad thing, after all. He nearly drove
the natives of Teheran crazy by insist
ing that dead dogs and garbage be care
fully gathered and burned outside the
city limits and by making plans for
thorough system of sewerage and water
supply. Moreover he has hired some
English officers and engineers to look
after his army, while a committee of
Englishmen and Persians are getting
up a system of representative govern
ment to replace the most cruel despotism
on the face of the earth. This is not
purely philanthropic on the Shah's
part He has been studying history,
geography and politics lately.
History teaches him that the big fish
invariably gobble up the little ones, and
that Persia has been considered the
legitimate prey of great conquerors for
five thousand years. Geography teaches
him that he lies in most uncomforta-
BILE position with regard to the ambi-
tions of Russia. The Cars dominions
lie directly to the north OF him, while
to the east he is slowly crushing out
Afghanistan in order to reach India,
and his probable ambition is to wipe
out Beloochistan and get foothold On
the Arabian sea. To the northwest is
Turkey, about to receive further dis
memberment Politics teaches him that
he must get firm ally somewhere or
get swallowed up in the. rush. To En-
gland he naturally looks for assistance,
and the Persian Gulf is already handed
over. - q -
England is Jealous of Russia's en-
croachments on the Indian frontier. II
Russia carries out her plans unopposed
Persia and Turkey will be at once
swallowed up and India threatened.
This is the Eastern end of the European
question, and 1t complexities matters
very seriously. England has. NO par
ticular objection to Turkish dismember-
ment, but she does not want Russia to
gobble the East also. When it comes
to bargain there will be . great chance
for finesse in playing of the East against
the West. @.ssssE ..FI
The Shah is turning reformer to save
his own hide.-Philadelphia Inquirer.
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1890-09-17

F.. What is probably the warmest place
in the world lies on the southwest coast
of the Persian gulf. During the months
of July and August, 1889, for fourteen
consecutive days, . correspondent says,
the thermometer never fell, day or night,
below 100 deg. Fahrenheit. and it rose
during the afternoon to12s deg. Fahren.
heit.
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1890-09-17

-"Teacher--..Who was the richest
man Of ancient times?" Freddy Fxngie
-"Methuselah, ma'am." yves, he had
more time than any one else, and time
is money, yo's know"
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1890-09-17
A Machine for Swearing.

The Chinese are the most skilful in.
ventors in the world, and it is not sur.
prising that Wun Lung has succeeded
in perfecting device that at one jerk
of the string will outswear regiment
Of Hoang Ho flat-boat mates. Chinese
oaths sound very much as if made by
machinery, and so Wun Lung ex.
perienced little difficulty in Initiating
them by a mechanical device. A com.
plete swearing maching consists of six
cylinders, each containing a complex
swearer, and all worked by string,
after the fashion of the praying machine.
BY pulling the string once man
could swear more copiously than he
could by weeks hard work in the old
way. Fitted out with swearing and a
praying machine, Chinaman has no
cause to consider himself any thing but
we'll fixed.
"A strange case of hypnotism is re-
ported from London, Ont A woman Of
forty years, who has lost her reason,
has unconsciously acted upon q young
lady of twenty. The two live upon OPP
posite sides of the same street, and two
months ago, when the elder woman was
taken sick, the young woman waited
! upon her until at last she could not
stay away and was constantly running
across the road to the house. One night
recently, unknown to the people Of the
house, she stayed all night, and when
an attempt was made to arouse her in
the morning it was found impossible. A
doctor was called, and at the end Of
| twenty-four hours he succeeded in wax
ing her. The young woman has good
health and is very intelligent #s i.
w. L. Osborne, Of Phoenix, Arix,
has collected ten tons Of honey this sea,
son from III hives.
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1890-09-17
Speed of q Locomotive.

SpOOU Oh u AOCOmOClV0s
1t seems to be quite clear that ii
steam enough could be supplied to loco
motive engine any speed could be at
tanned, unless the resistance to its
progress augmented in such proper
ton that the boiler pressure was not
great enough to overcome it, says the
Engineer. The engine would then be.
to use marine phrase, 'locked up"
We know that at q velocity of as much
as seventy-two miles an hour on level
a well-designed single-driver light en-
CINE will run with the throttle but lit
tie open, and apparently exerting very
little power indeed. 1t is not easy to
see why an addition Of eight miles an
hour should pile up Inc resistance as it
is said to do. The question seems, how
ever, to bristle with anomalies and con-
tradictions of the most vexatious and
puzzling character, and we are at times
tempted to believe that these Difficult.
ties have no existence in fact-are for
the most part the creations OF fancy
Boston Herald.
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1890-09-17
MURDER OF CHILDREN.
A Crime Which Is Not Of Rare Occur
r0nCo In EnRlAnd.

A Crime Which Is Not of Rare Occur.
ronoo In England.
Children are now insured before they
are born, and at the payment of one
penny week. This insures q sum
which far more than covers the funeral
expenses, and the same child is often
insured in more than one office. Under
such system the father or mother may
make a profit OF three or four pounds on
the death of baby, to say nothing Of
what would be spent on food and
clothes. The Bishop of Peterborough
repeated shocking phrase, which ex-
plains itself, and which would be only
weakened by comment They talk in
town which he did not and we will not
mention of having little funeral and
big drink" Now, of course, it does
not follow that, because these things
may be done, they are done, and some
optimists argue that they can not be
done. There is, they say, the fear of
the gallows-''S'il ny pas un Dieu, il
y a toujorsu le gendarme-and there is
the doctors certificate.
To cut an infants throat or give it
prussic acid would not only be .desper-
ately wicked. but incredibly foolish.
insufficient food, and judiciously i'm
proper treatment.in one or two small par.
ticulars, and the Pickering lights effect
ually quenched. would any of your
Lordships," asked the Bishop, ''be will
ing to intrust child of yours to sick
nurse who had pecunisry interests in
its death?" A medical man wrote to
the Bishop OF Peterborough 70 say that
he had for some time Insisted on an in
quest wherever an insured child died.
What happenened? He appeared as a
witness and was asked If he could swear
that the child would have lived il it
had been properly fed. He could not,
and the verdict was death from nat
ural causes" avoiding atleast the awful
blasphemy of ''Died by the visitation Of
God. "-Saturday Review.
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1890-09-17

w. L. Osborne, Of Phoenix, Arix,
has collected ten tons Of honey this sea-
son from III hives.
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1890-07-03

receive killing astentions. Hurt or harm
to the country or general prosperity 70
csives NO confederation. the opposition
must be killed-thus saith, through their
chosen political leaders. the people.
There il no culture In politics. but there
is point beyond which brutality is un-
necessary. The people will ever applaud
contest between equals, for they
can see that in such q contest lies their
hope Of good government. Why should
the people stand idle and quiet when one
man or party, having the other down.
nses every foul means to keep him under
foot and thus teach him the doctrine Of .
political hereafter BY mauling him and
dragging his political CARCASS until it is
worn to shreds? It is neither edifying
nor profitable. Still moro disgusting and
dangerous 10 the spectacle, so frequently
presented, of some leader visiting upon
an inferior who has incurred his dis
pleasure, or who has refused to scknowl-
edge his dictatorship, the brutality of .
slave-driver. The contumely Of an in.
ferior in position is the impertinence OF
child. To visit upon him the full
force and power Of Temporary. and. per-
haps, accidental superiority, is to dis
play nothing more than the strength
OF the brute who belabors with
hand and foot the unfortunate weakling
who has offended him. It is superfuous
to term this cowardice: it is, in politics,
better to regard such conduct as con-
fession OF an inability to contend upon
equal terms. And yet it would not be
difficult to enumerate instances, within
tho knowledge Of every reader, in which
the inferior has been followed in his
business and social relations with an
undying and an unmitigated persecu-
ton, as cruel as any of the political or
religious horrors of the middle ages.
When Philip II. took from the relatives
of the victims Of the Inquisition all the
rights Of humanity. except the bare right
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1890-07-03

Following the growth and power of fhe
great factors whose aggregation Of can
ital made possible the tremendous pece
of the settlement Of our national domain.
the building of our great cities, and the
opening of the lines of communication
which have unified our country and Gre.
atsd our resources have come national
and State leeislstional and supervision.
In this legislation, and tho hands to
which it is delegated, rests the great dan
ger to which our liberties and our pros
perity, our national existence is exposed.
It is the people who, by their own acts,
delegate these legislative powers-to
whom2
1t may be safely assumed in this nine
teenth century that the value of q promi-
nent citizen, whose prominence is derived
from his political activity. is gagged by
his conduct toward and treatment Of
those with whom, in the course Of his
chosen avocation, he is brought in con-
tact. 1t will also be granted that the Or
binary rules which govern mankind are
equally applicable to the class which We
It follows, if these propositions be
true, that those who most nearly approach
the rules of intercourse which the expe-
rience of ages has shown to be the best
adapted to humanity in its relations to
its component parts, should be the most
successful as politicians.
But is this true?
It needs but a glance at the political
arena of to-day to establish the fact,
most apparent, that o sincere regard for
the laws which society has established
for its own protection is by no means
necessary to insure political success It
therefore becomes q proper subject of
inquiry and action upon the part of al
whose earnest efforts are directed to the
task of improving our systems of parti-
san politics. And in these inquiries it is
we'll to ascertain what is meant by sue
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1890-07-03


eeeuze n III hold upon ths publls's
throas, coolly tipped back In his easy
chair and said: SNhat are you goiag to
do about it7s
There 10 not . section Of this country
nee nom an actual or aspiAnt Tweed,
ana the more successful in following
that high priest of peculation. the moro
boldly does the imitator ask the same
question. and it is time for the public to
look ahead and ask, What are We going
TO do about it?'
Ambition and honorable strife for pub
lilo position are commendable. but this
ambition should extend beyond the desire
Tor public plumber and self-aggrandize-
ment. and the struggle should be con-
Quoted in . manner becoming reputable.
respectable citizens of . free country,
working for the best interests of the
whole people. Politics is necessary
factor In free government, and public
discussions are eminently proper and de-
sirable. but the Americ,n people are
not fulfilling the highest duties of
citizens when they permit positions
OF public trust and honor to be bartered
away for gold. Political machinery is
also necessary. but not of the expensive
order and vote destroying or vote-dupli-
eating construction used throughout this
country during the past twenty years,
and more particularly during the last i've
years.
The fault is not only Of men but also
OF methods, and unless resort is had at
once to honest and decent methods. and
measures taken to secure intelligent,
capable. honest men for public positions,
no matter what their preferences may be
for men to be elected to high places Of
honor and trust, the days Of this Repub-
lie are numbered.
This is no Fourth of July Grafton ac-
cording to rule. It may, on that account,
attract the reader; he would be Q dull