Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-03-31
CURRENT TIMELY TOPICS.

CHAUNCEY M. DEPEw is himself again, or
| will be tomorrow, when he will deliver an ad
| dress from the northwest balcony OF the Cordova
| House, st. Augustine, Fla.
AN effort is being made to form tooth pick
trust. Another stab at the poor people.
A BUTLER county editor is going to take
Western trip, and he reminds delinquent sub
scribers that it costs money to travel vanished
cars.
A PosToFFICE in Clarion county has been
named McGinty. Clarion is keeping up her repu-
tation for odd names and measly breed Of dogs.
MAINE raised 2S7,OOO barrels of apples last
year. By little figuring a person can tell just
how many barrels of cider the said apples would
make and also the number of headaches.
THE trout fishing season will soon open in
this State. The speckled beauties will be about
the size in other seasons, but the lies will
in all probability be above the average.
THE Altoona Tribune has an able editorial on
the cat industry of that place. and calls upon the
agent for the prevention of cruelty to animals to
put end the stealing of favorite cats of neigh
bors. The EDITORS felines have been greatly
shocked.
TOMORROW is the day when hidden brick
sleeps quietly under the delapidated plug hat. The
wise man will not attempt to raise it into the air
with his foot but leave the job for his innocent
neighbor. A string is likewise attached to all
pocketbooks found lying around promiscuously.
A New YORK paper says that the past winter
has been hard for coal dealers, and that they
are actually selling 2, 600 pounds to the ton.
The ice dealers should make vigorous kick
against their enemies, the coal dealers. But per-
haps the coal dealers have read the decision ofa
Pennsylvania judge that a ton of coal was 2, 900
pounds.
IT is reported that physicians have advised
their patients who were victims of la grippe to
go to the coast this year to complete their re-
covery from this disease, admitted to be of
malarial origin. There is good deal of sarcasm
in the above item. The idea of man paying
doctors bill, buying interest in drug store
and then visiting the coast all in one year is
too preposterous to think of without he is a mil
lionaire.
THERE are a number of people in Washing
ton who believe Senator Quay fishing
while in Florida. They base their opinion on the
fact that his fish stories plausible that
everybody believes them. They can hardly real
ize the fact, however, that he forgot to take q
corkscrew along.
IT is feared the cables have been muzzled by
jealous syndicate, why all this secrecy Of the
the whereabouts of George Francis Train? Surely
there has been mono accident.
THOMAS A. EDISON says he would sooner
have the smallpox than swelled head.'' We be-
lieve the gentleman tells the truth. as 1t would be
much cheaper to pay DOCTORS bill than to buy
cracked ice this summer.
A PHILADELPHIA paper editorially says
that the city has been remarkably free for years
from cyclones, disastrous confagrations and
other horrors. Perhaps slight earthquake shock |
would be the means of awakening her people |
from their long sleep and put new life into them.
Tom AND JIM SEAMEN are twin brothers; |
one is a Democrat, the other Republican. They |
are pitted against each other for the office of JUS
tice of the Peace of Hemstead They both play |
on the fiddle and banjo. and it is said they look
near alike that the voters don't know one from |
t'other. The most noticeable popularity of the |
twins is that the Democrat, Tom, is the best be-
haved, but that will not elect him, the district
generally goes about 700 Republican majority.