The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1890-10-25
PATENT OFFICE cRANks.
The Queer Inventions That Are Sent to
BE Investigated.


rhe Queer Inventions That Are Sent to
De Investigated.
To fully realize how many cranks live
among us one has only to visit the Pat
ent Office in Washington, says the New
YORK Herald, and examine the models
which I'LL the shelves of that depart
ment and read the specifications, in
which are set forth in glowing terms
the many benefits which they pro-
pose to donate to mankind. Every i'm
aginable scheme is suggested and laid
before the patent examiners. The ques-
tion OF utility, of practicability, does
not enter into the taking out of a pat
ent; 1t sufflces that the invention has
the feature of novelty and that the ap-
plicant pay the legal fees.
So numerous are the perpetual mo-
tion" cranks. who think they have
discovered the long and vainly sought
enigma, that the office has prepared a
circular which is mailed to any one
who takes steps to enter an alleged per-
petual motion invention. The circular
informs him ''that it is thought proper
to advise him, in order to save him fur
ther expense and labor, that the views
of the Patent Office coincide with those
of scientists in general in regard to me-
chanical perpetual motions-that they
are mpossibilities. Should your entry
be taken, working model will be re-
quired, the Office being aware that it
will be impossible for you to comply
with this requirement" The specifica-
tion and fee are then returned. Does
this dampen their ardor? Doubtless
thousands of them are now trying to
compass the working model. .;..s
Many of the old models were burned
up in the fire of 1877, and tradition only
tells Of some of the queer contrivances
that had been gathered in.
One Of the most curious of these was
hens nest constructed with spring
trap at the bottom of the nest. The
weight of an egg was sufficient to press
down the spring and allow the egg to
| slip out. The theory OF this thoughtful
Inventor was that as soon as the hen laid
an egg it would press down the trap-door
and disappear. The hen, as is her GUS
tom at, ter laying an egg, would rise and
cackle bn Z finding no egg, would con-
oInda t,ot 20 had made mistake and
would nrocsod Immediately to lay anoth-
er, and SO on ad .. Wn1um. on .his prin-
ciple the owner OF he' "ouiu nave u
greatmonopoly.
A trip through the n. ouua urious rusrS inyen- su
vealed many unique and ,ous ,.us,ai .n'on -
tions, some of the more L s az.
which / venture to describe / w ii1'
trate.
!. One of the amost original is an ordn Sn.e ~,
plow, patented by c. M. French and -.
H. Fancher, Of Waterloo, N. Y, in June,
1869. The object Of the invention was
to produce pillow equal in point Of
strength and lightness to the one ordi-
narily in use and yet which would COM
bine the elements of small sized can
non, SO that it could be utilized by the
frontier settler both for defensive pur-
poses as well as agricultural. -
The beam or tongue of the pillow to
which the horses or oxen are yoked is
in fact gun barrel or piece Of light
ordnance capable Of throwing projec-
tile of one to three pounds weight with
out rendering it cumbersome as plow.
! The plowshare takes the place Of
gun carriage and serves to anchor the
improvised cannon firmly in the ground
and enable it to resist the recoil, while
the handles furnish means of giving the
plow or gun, as the case may be, direc-
tion or aim. To use the language of the
inventors: ''as means Of defense in re-
pelling surprises and attacks on those
engaged in peaceful avocation it is
unrivaled, as it can be instantly brought
into action by disengaging the team,
and in time of danger may be used
charged with deadly grape. This COM
bination enables those in agricultural
pursuits to have at hand an efficient
weapon OF defense atslight expense, in
addition to common and indispensable
implement, and one hardly inferior to
expensive light ordnance on wheels"
With due Difference to the originality Of
the conception Of the inventors, it does
not appear that the 'plough gun" or
''gun plough" has come into very gen.