davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The National tribune., 1890-01-02
CHRISTMAS DINNERS.
The Needy Comrades Of Brooklyn and Vicinity
Amply Provided For

According to custom, the needy veterans
and the widows and orphans of veterans OF
Brooklyn, N. Y, were supplied with boun-
teous Christmas dinner; fully $500 men,
women and children being provided for
Early in the morning women and children be-
gan to assemble at the three depots set apart
for the issuance of the supplies In the West
eTn district the chapel formerly occupied by
the Reformed Church on the lot adjoining the
Municipal Building was the commissaFiab
selected. Each person desiring share Of the
supplies which we're ample, brought ticket
from some Post Commander or other known
aud responsible veteran. An imprOvised
counter ran along the length Of the building,
and behind it stood barrels Of poultry, potatoes,
onions, apples, cabbage, beets, turnips canned
vegetables bread and groceries. Soldiers and
sailors loaded the baskets with the welcome
ratiOns and sent away the widows and orphans
weighted down with good things There we're
several INDECENT and sick pensioners who
were unable to call for the provisions. and TO
such the ratiOns were sent in wagons
Similar scenes were enacted at Grand Army
Hall. Williamsburg. and in GreeDp0int, at the
Headquarters of Barbara Frietchie Post The
vegetables and material other than the pOul-
try were contributed by the pupils Of the pub
lie schools. The poultry was purchased by q
speciA committee Of the Bureau Of Relief Of
the GAR
The National tribune., 1890-01-02
GAR. ENTERTAINMENTS.
The Way TO Organize, Sustain, aud Make Them
Interesting and Profitable.

In no part of the country have the veterans
been more successful in raising money for the
relief OF their destitute comrades and the wild
ows and orphans OF the same than in Toledo,
o., where every year an entertainment is given
called the BugIe Call" This has been under the
auspices of such splendid organizers and admin
istrators as Comrade A. NJ WoolsOn, Mrs. Kate g.
Sherwood, aud Others. The last entertainment
continued two weeks and made more than
$4,000 for the charity fund. The success was
due To the careful organization aud business
like methods which were infused into every de-
tail. Since mention was made of this last at
fair in Tue NATIONAL TRIBUNE, COmrade
Woolson has been besieged with inquiries from
the comrades all over the country as To his
methods lie had pamphlet printed, which
gives the organization of committees, the du-
ties of each aud Other information, which he
sent in answer The edition of this pamphlet
has been exhausted, and he asks us TO print the
substance of it in THE NATIONAL Tribune
The entire pamphlet would take up too much
room, but we give the gist of its contents
The entertainments spoken of are held under
the auspices of Forsyth Post and Forsyth Re-
lief Corps. At the head of the affair is an Ex-
eeutive Committee which is organized by the
election of President, Vice President, Record
ing Secretary, Corresponding Secretary and
Treasurer A General Director is placed in
charge of the program decided upon, aud every
thing is referred or reported TO him. There
are Committees upon Music, Flowers, Enter
tainments, Printing, Excursion and Transport
taton Commissary (which has charge of all
refreshments furnished), Tickets, Badges Rel
les, Drills Dramatic Performances, Purchases
Suffers Tent, Invitations, Grand Army (which
arranges for tho visit of the Department Com
mander and Commander-in-Ch Chief, Halls and
Property, Dances, Receptions, The Press aud
Citizens Cooperative. These committees have
the duties that their names indicate, and are
made up with special reference To the activity
and fitness of the members for the duties as
signed to them.
The National tribune., 1890-01-02
RELIEF CORPS NEWS.
Gleanings from National Headquar-
ters---Notes from the Departments.
Mrs. ANNIE WrTTEEHYER. National President.
Mrs. ABBIE LYNCH. National Secretary.
oRJEcTs on THE KELIEr GORE

To specially aid and assist the Grand Army OF
the Republic and to perpetuate the memory OF
their heroic dead.
To assist such Union veterans as need our help
and protection, and 10 extend ncGdful aid TO their
widows and orphans; to find them homes and
employment, and assure them Of sympathy and
friends to cherish and emulate the deeds of our
Army Nurses, and of all loyal women who render.
peril.
To inculcnte lessons Of patriotism and love of
country nmong our children and in the commune
ties in which we live: To maintain true allegiance
To the United Suites of America; to disoonntenance
whatever tends TO weaken loyalty and to encuur-
age the spread OF universal liberty aud equal rights
to all men.
Women Of good moral character and correct de-
pertinent, who have not given aid and comfort TO
the enemies OF the Union who would pcrpetuate
the principles TO which this association stands
pledged, aud who have attained theagr of l6 years,
shnll be eligible to membership ia the Womans
Relief
The National tribune., 1890-01-02
SONS OF VETERANS.
News from the VariOns Decentralization Of
Officers, etc.
CAITFOpNrA.

CALIFORNIA.
Walter II. Holmes Camp. No. 2G. was mustered
In at San Francisco Nov. Is, b. Past Col. f. G..
Robinson, with the following officers: Captain.
Fred NJ. Wilson; First Lieut.. q. III. EgglesOn;
Second Lieut., VIM. f. Brown. This Camp is com
posed mainly Of sons ofmembers OF Geo. II Thomas
Post, No 2, Department California; GAR, and
selected It's name in honor of deceased conFade Of
the Post. who was well known and greatly beloved
ia Grand Army circles. He served term as
Junior Vice Commander-in- Chief. The Camp
promises TO be of the best in tie organization
OF Sons of Veterans.
CONNECTICUT.
Officers Of Arthur r. Fuller Camp, Waterbury:
Captain, Andrew Nuttug; First Lieut., ID. A. s.
Baker; Second Lieut., d. !. Sullivan.
ILLINOIS.
Officers of osgood Camp, No. SO, Urbana Cap
tain. !. w. LoctbaFt; First Lieut., Ed. Taylor ;
Second Lieut., Sol Reimund; Camp Council, G. D.
Killer Fred Slater and j. g. Smith.
Officers of Gen. Putnam Camp, No 1GG. Chicago
Captain. DR.. Raymond l.. Leonardo First Lieut.,
John A. Bomn,hardt; Second Lieut., Lewis F.
Herter; Camp Council, Carl Godee, Earl l.. Nash,
OfIiccrs Of john A. Shepherd Camp, No. 2i5,
Ranloul Captain, Oscar Hamilton; First Lieut.,
Richard Green; Second Lieut., A. EddingtOn.
INDIANA,
Officers of John d. Hill Camp, No. II, Wabash /:
Captain. VIM. q. Shotz; First Lieut. Fred Schlem-
mcr; Second Lieut., Charles l.. Williams; Camp
Counei-Chnries A. Lower, Charles l. Truss and
Harry Worth.
KANSAS.
Officers of Custer Camp, No. 10l. Barnes: Captain
Earnest i. Ballard First Lieut. J. NJ. WolvertOu
Second Lieut., Frank Shafer.
MICHIGAN.
Officers OF Gen. w. T. sherman Camp, No. 81. st.
Joseph Captain. j.. T.. Merchant; First Lieut.,
Charles T.. Schnader; Second Lieut., Edward Cong
don; Camp COunel-Asa Colman, j. T.. Riley and
j. G. Shulcr.
PENNSYLVANIA.
Officers of Capt. John Griffin Camp, Athens:
Captain, Ethan Jal.eway; First Lieut.. John J.Grip-
PIN Second Iieut.. Fred. Hosmcr; COuncil-F.
Hosmcr. Charles Kinney Jesse Stage.
Officers of Capt. r. a. Roberts Camp. No. 107,
Renova: Captain. Geo. y. Dechant First Lieut.,
s. l.. Il. Kinzer; Second Lieut., John w. Young
Camp Conncii-Wm. 7. Hoover, Arthur I. Hoke,
y. l.. r. Kinzor.
The National tribune., 1890-01-02
VIRGINIA.

A Specific for Throat Diseases.-Brown's
known as an admirable remedy for Coughs. Hoarse.
ness and all Throat troubles. "They are excellent
for the relief Of Hoarseness Sore Throat They
are exceedingly effective. OAristtan World Lon.
don. England.
The National tribune., 1890-01-02

ifs next annual meeting IN that city which was ac-
eepied. After this the members proceeded to the
banquet To the number of 50 The exercises closed
with - Campfire. at which Col James c. Biddle. of
Gen. Mcade's staff during the war, and Col. Geo.
Meade son of the General, were the guests of the
ASSOCIATION, and they were called on for speeches,
a. were Gen. Coils. Col. r. Dale Benson, Mai T..
X. Benson, Capt. Williams and others. Al mid
night retreat and taps were sounded which closed
one of the most enjoyable Reunions ever held by
the regiment
The National tribune., 1890-01-02
Union Veteran Legion.

A Camp of the Union Veteran Legion was
organized at 1T. Wayne, Dec. 49, and the fol-
lowing officers mustered; Col, James Il. Ora
ham; Lieut-C Col. l.. r. Huntoon; Mai, S. l..
Lewis; o. d., w. K. Mcclellan; q. NJ, s. w.
Stirk; Chap A. Dougherty; o. c., w. s. Bid
well; Surg, Dr. John Seaton; Adj't, NJ. NJ
Thompson; O. NJ. s., IL. w. Dickman; serg't-
Mai, j. w. Seaman.
The National tribune., 1890-01-02

THE NATIONAL TRIBUNE is the only
champion the soldiers haze among the great pa
pers of the country. The best ,oay TO help all
peterans is By getting ii more Subscribers.
The National tribune., 1890-01-02
PENNSYLVANIA,

Elaborate preparations are being made for the
annual Reunion and banquet OF the survivors Of
pbia. Feb -.
These the officers OF the iO6th Pa, who were
elected at the annual Reunion held in Plliladel-
phia last week President john w. Lynch V.-P,
Samuel " AThuckle; Treas, G. j. X. Miller; Sec,
VIM. Il. Rose. The retiring President, Comrade
Thompson. was presented with handsome gold
badge studded with diamonds
OH the RHnive saTy of the battle of FTedericks-
burg the Its, Pa. elected the following officers:
President, samuel Arrson; V.-P.'s. W W. Strong
and VIM. Baldwin; See, john Gal5rAith; Treas,
Joshua Garsed.
The 6sth Pa. held Reunion on Dec. II, In the
Quaker City.
The National tribune., 1890-01-02
the battle OF Fredericks-


burg WAS celebrated on
Dec. IS by the survivors
of the ll4th PA. at Phila-
delphia, by q business
meeting and u banquet,
President kretc Il IN a u
presiding. Fhe Monu-
meut Committee report
ed that the bronze statue
had been placed in po-
sition Oh the pedestal
provided for il last sum
meT ut Gettysburg. The
following officers were
elected TO serve for the
ensuing year Presi-
dent. James Hartley (;
V.-P's. A. :. Denny aud
George G. Kruichmnn /;
Adj't. W. +. Hoffman /;
Cor. See, Benz. l.. My
ers; Treas, A. G.. Brown;
Chap. A. W. Given. An
invitation was extended
by Comrade Rob't Chad
W &c k, Postmaster of
Chester. Pa, on behalf
Of the citizens Of Chester,
F1,rfl.a rar.5,...,.f -. H.FI
The National tribune., 1890-01-02

Write to T. A. Armstrong, Detroit. Mich, for
his GAR. or S. of v. Price List. Sent tree.
The National tribune., 1890-01-02

Ayers Sarsaparilla stops tho nauseous dis
charges of catarrh, and cures the complaint.
The National tribune., 1890-01-02
Ilk IVI IIIUIt iIUtIII ptIIsIOIi ItbIsIalIUHs
MASSACHUSETTS,.

The annual Reunion Of The I'D Mass was held at
Boston, Dee. Il. the election of officers for the
suing year resulted rs follows: President J. w
Fletcher; V.-P.'s. w. H. FOwle. Dexter Gross, Eli
sha L Harwell; Sec. Luther W. Bixby; Treas, a.
G. Jordan
The survivors OF the 10Th Mass. held a Reunion
ut Boston Dec. ii, the anniversary OF the crossing
Of the RappahannocS before Fredericksburg. About
80 comrades with their wives and lady friends
present After pariakiug OF dinner the assembly
listened To speeches by several of the veterans.
The odd annual Reunion Of the 5lst Mass was
held az Worcester, over 100 veterans being present.
An interesting feature Of the exercises the pre-
sentation of an elegant Past Commanders gold
badge To Col. 4. B. II. Sprague.
The National tribune., 1890-01-02

DinUCO II you desire them use f0Oling away
nlOIILO time on things that don't pay but send
siO AZ for magnificent Outnt OF cur Great New
Stanley Book 10 book aud terms not satisfactory Ne
Will refund YOUR money. No risk. No capital needed
Both ladies and gentlemen employed. Don't lose time
in writing. "Step In while the waters are troubled"
DAYS are worth dollars Address b f. JOHNSON & Co,
1Ou0 Main ST., Richmond, Va
Mention The National Tribune
The National tribune., 1890-01-02
PENNSYLVANIA.
REUNIONS.

To SECRETARIES: Secretaries viii greatly favor
us 10y sending brief accounts OF the Reunions Of
their respective organizations for publication IN
this column. Immediately after the occurrence of
the same Also copies OF rosters for file and future
refeTeuce.-EDiToR NATIoSAL TRIBUNE.
The National tribune., 1890-01-02
KANSAS,

The Ness County Veteran Association Or
gained at Ness City, Nov. 30 ard the following
officers elected: President, A. w. Miller; V-P.'s
J. X. Barry, L. g.. Rindge. J. r. McFadden, J. III.
Douglass J. w Brown, Noah Chenowetl, W. ri.
Morris. Euos SwaTtz. Il. l.. NoAIiIIen, Samuel "
Johnson; See. W. A. Ogden; Treas, L. B. Lin
Vile. number Of resolutions were adopted call
ing for moro IibernI nenaon legislaiinn.
The National tribune., 1890-01-02
FLORlDAt

Tho following Posts have elected officers for 1890
tcala, L. ocsla: Commander, G. A. Dwelley; ;
V. C.. A ". Gates J. V. c. r. Il. Wassow; Q. NJ.
ii. Schcfelin Surg., Chas. Marshall; Chap T. IL
6 NJ Geo Bumby; q. NJ :, Thos. Walters.
The National tribune., 1890-01-02
ILLINOIS.

The survivors Of the Goth ILL., held n Reunion at
the residence of their old Colonel and commander,
Gen. john C. Smith, Chicago, Dec. i6, fully 200
veterans being present, many of them aceompa-
MED by their wives Refreshments were served,
aud !; was late hour before the company dis
peTsed
The National tribune., 1890-01-02

The following Posts have elected officers Tor 1871
Harry McDonough. 65, Norwalk: Commander,
Edward Allen; q. NJ. w. c. Staples; Adj't, A f.
Meicalf; Surg. n :. Kirk; Chap. II. y. Burr; q.
d.. J. J. Perry: o. c.. l.. NJ. Fanningi q. NJ. =,
Bradford y. Baker; :. NJ John Allen.
The National tribune., 1890-01-02
THE GRAND ARMY.
News From ihe DepartmentS---NeW
Posts. etc.
DEPARTMENT NEWS.

TThe Assistant Acknowledgement of the different
Departments are respectfully requested 10 forward
q COPY OF the Department rosters FOR 1889 TO Tue
NATIONAL TRIBUNE. Adjutanis Of Posts are also
requested 10 forward soon as possible a INST OF
the ncwly-elected officers
The National tribune., 1890-01-02


w. Ii. Reynolds Post Milton, held "a Cnmpflre
Dee. is. Conrade Felix McGeitrck gave an in.
teresting address upon the social TEXTURES of the
GAR, and the necessity Of organizing "a Woman $
Relief Corps ia every town; also Of Sons Of Yeer-
ans. Comrades Rev j. Il. iiorriclE aud j. IT,
Wheelocs gave each iivc.u minutes talk. Hey. A.
| w Ford led the singing. The meeting closed with
| the old army song, Marching through Georgia -
| sung by Minnie comstock,
The following Posts have elected officers for 1890
Waterson, 45. Bradford: Commander, q. q. smith:
| s. v. c., Nathan koyes; J. V. g., t. $, Noyes; l. NJ
NJ. o. Cobnrni o. d., John Stanton; o. g. O. r..
Abbott; Surg, S. n Goss; Chap, Geo. # Reed.
M BAXTER O. vSsS~P p q Gomnander George
Stevens; q. NJ. Arr J. Miller; Surg, Robert j.
Burke: Chap L. ID. Field o. d., s. Moranville |;
| q. O.. Stark n. Morse; O., =. Putney.
VIM. q. Tracy, a5 Windsor; Commander, Geo.
| r. Densmore; = V. O., elias. ii. IIlii j. V. g., t.
i. Monroe Adpt, X. ID. Cobb; q. NJ, t. i. Robin
| o. d., H. ID. Plummer; o. g., Sidney Richardson,
IS. 81, 8. q, Hoyt; q. NJ. g., stillman Walker.
stannard, 2, Burlington; Commander, Gen. w.
L. Greenleaf; =. v. e., j. Is. Sculyi j, ". g., j. II.
Holton. q. NJ, u. N: Peck Chap, Rev. u. w.
omstead; Surg, w. b. Lnndi o. d.. O. H. Gotta
| o. g., Adam Smith; q. s., WIN. Dunn
t. II. stoughton. 81 Bellows Falsi Commander,
H. Cannon. Jri :. v g., Geo. l.. Kibby; J. V. g.,
VIM /, Mandigoi @. NJ, rhos;, X, Primer; Surg,
j.. H. fetiengiil Chap, VIM Taylor; .. d.. II. A.
Howard o. g.. T. Nichols
VIRGINIA.
The following Posts have elected officers for 600
Farragut. !, Portsmouth: Commander James
| Cegg s. v. c., II. t. Foster; j. V. c. J. w Rat
ter. a Chap, W. Il. APpennzelieri Surg chas Me-
gan; q d.. John w. Woodinan.
WISCONSIN,
The following Posts have elected officers for 1890
Gov. Harvey, II, Racine; Commander, j. q.
B Brooke Is, y. v; O.. j. q; Teaili v. q, $ w
a H. ii. $. smith; o. d.. Henry Varney; o. e.,
George oDell J. s. S.. Peter DuFour; o. IS. s.,
Ropen Birkhoiz.
The National tribune., 1890-01-02
POTOMAC.

The following Posts have elected officers for 1880
FarTagut, 10, Washington; Commander A. =
Dinsmore; s v. C., Georges Il Cook; J. V. c., Il, II
Ripley Surg, $. 4. IL. McKim; Chap. Jacob 4
Wilson; q. NJ, w y. Dove; o. b., VIM. H. Miner
o. g.. Julian q. Baker.
Burnside. 8. Washington; Commander David \
McGowhu >. V. o., Nathan Biceford J. V. O., q
T.. Davis Chap .. W. Talimadge, Surg. q. v Pei
teys; o. d., Is. 7. JABneyi o. g., Is. Il. Brocketl
q. NJ, H. >. Lacey.
The National tribune., 1890-01-02
NEW HAMPSHIRE

| ncy; s. V. e., George Morris; J. V. c. John stow
| o. D.. Albert Mifiiin; Chap. Henry ChavaHne; q.
| b., Daniel Whitney.
NEW YORK.
C. r. Mills Post, No. 49i, Troy. held a Campfire
| on Dec 10. Comrades were present from the other
| Posts ia Troy aud vicinity, aud army Teminis.
cences and songs rounded out excellent pro.
! gram. Later la the evening refreshments were
/ served.
| McVasl,urg Post. no. 90 Arcadia, has adopted
resolutions calling upon the Senators aud Repre-.
seBiatiyes 10 urge the passage by Congress Of the
The following Posts have elected officers for 1890;
/ Mallory, s. Brooklyn: Commander, George H.
IAndi = V. g, r. NJ Crafisi J. V. g., J. G. Sealcy
q. b., George Pell; Surg. i. NJ. X. Mills; Chap
q. 81. Stillwell; o. D., George L. Fisher; o. g.
| Thomas Sialieri Adj't. J. Is. Rea.
| Winchester, is2, Brooklyn: Commander, Joseph
| w. Kay; 5. V. e., John j. COTb.lt; j. V, c. Fred
| Boyer Chap. William J. Brunell; o. d.. Frank
w. LewiE; o. O.. Samuel II. johnson.
Mansfield, 80. Brooklyn: Commander John
Brown ,. V. g, Ihonins }. HaDan; J. v. g., Geo
A. Newman; q. 81. T. w. Whiteside; Surg james
Sweeney u. d., William Gessene; o. O., X. Il
Tighe.
i. Murray; 5. V. G., William II. Smith; J. V. G..
William Hanlou; q. NJ, John +. LinergRn; Surg
Il. ID. Richardson Chap. james Il. Chandler; o.
ID. Henry Rockford q. O., Henry Smith.
Lloyd Aspinwall. GO New York Commander
Wnl u. Kirchner; :. " C.. Charles II. Liscom j
v. g., Gilbert Adams; q. NJ y. J. Hibberd Surg
s.w. GoodTiebi Chap, Il. Is. Kinney; o. d., F.W
Lafayette. I4O, New York: Commander. Egberl
J.. Niele; >. V. q, Gen. Meredith l.. Jones; j. v
g.. Maj Jefe i. ThomPsonj O. NJ, Capt. Freder
lex Foster Surg, III. w. Mitchell Chap. Rev. w
u. Miekle; o. ID, Henry Hobert Holly; q. g.. Fred
=. Morrison.
Reno a. New York: Commander, PhiIip s. Big
lin 5. V. G., Lewis A. Owens; j. " O. Andrew j
O'C0nnOF; q. H., Louis Hess; Surg, Dan'l Lewis
Gimp, Oliver =. Pratt; o. D., Henry II. DerF; o.
o., john j. o'Bren.
The National tribune., 1890-01-02
ARKANSAS

The following Posts have elected officers for 1890
Dick Yates -. TexarkanR: Commander, Ira a.
Church; $. V C.. Lyman :. Roach; J. v g. y -
hcGRham; Chap, James A. Mitilin; q. NJ, Jonil
Mckenna; Adjt Fred. A. Church; surg, ". ii.
Bush; @. d., Thomas McCalla; O. g., 4. > Chlis-
nis " Raw. This Post has n membership Of 65
comrades IN good standing, and Is ia a prosperous
condition.
Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1890-08-28
A Famous Steamboat Race.

Up in the top of the Postofiice Build.
ing, in the room where the steamboat
inspectors are located, hangs a colored
Autograph of one of the most famous
steamboat races that ever took place on
the Mississippi River. The race was
between the United States mail packet
Natchez and the Robert L. Lee, and
occurred just twenty years ago. They
ran from New Orleans to st. Louis, a
distance of 1910 miles, making little
over 800 miles per day. The Lee won,
her exact time being three days, eight
cen hours and thirty minutes.
On the evening of June 80, 1870, at
4 :55 o'clock, the boats swung off from
their landings at New Orleans and
headed up the river. Both of them
we're veritable floating palaces-the
finest examples of the boat-builder's art
and were regarded as the two fastest
boats on the river They carried no
freight and very few passengers, Every
unnecessary piece of rope and wood was
left behind and the boats made as light
as possible. 1t was race to determine
which was the fastest, and great sums
of money are said to have been placed
on the result. 1t is said fortunes were
won and lost on the race. 1t was q
neck-and-neck race from the start. The
old picture shows flames leaping from
the stacks of both boats, as side by side
they ploughed through the water at
topmost speed. Capt. J. w. Cannon
had charge of the Robert +. Lee and
N.-t IN ID To,,Al,or1 .,roo IN ooY,, M q nd
on the Natchez, which was carrying the
United States mails. Such incidentals
as way passengers were ignored. The
race excited the greatest interest every
where, from New Orleans to ST. Louis,
and as the boats flew by spectators
gathered along the river banks and
cheered Justify.
At 1925 on the morning of July
the Lee steamed into the st. Louis
Harbor amid the widest enthusiasm.
Her owners we're overioyed at having
broken the record. The Natchez
reached the st. Louis wharf at 5.3S on
the eve of the same day, being six
hours and thirtv-three minutes behind
the Lee. The six hours had been lost
through detention by fog at Devils
Island. The best previous time had
beed made by the Natchez, which made
the run in three days, twenty-one
hours and fifty-eight minutes in the
month before. This race was perhaps
one of the most remarkable that ever
occurred on American waterways, both
for its magnitude and the great speed
attained. Steamboats, of to-day never
come near 800 miles in twenty-four
hours. Pittsburgh Post
Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1890-08-28
WHY RE WOULDN'T SUBSCRIBE


One day one nv them canvassers who lest taIk
BY the job,
Whose speech wen shelled. is one part corn
and ninety whine parts cob,
Tth hull talkin, apparatus pulled out an
workin' hard,
18th full steam on. high pressure walked into
my back yard.
An be driv me in a corner, an there he held ma
fast,
An tried to get me to subscribe to the Colby
County Blast;
Uis tongue wuz creased 18th lightniu' and he
proved the Blast the best,
Hghtonedest journal IN the worl, ahead Of all
the rest.
He fung his 1ood-gates open wide, as fur as
they would reach,
An jest poured out his cataract an soaked the
air with speech
he thought he had me mesmerized: SEE he
"TWo dolls per year
An five big steel ergravin's-now Jest sign yer
name right here
An then I Strengthened up SEE I, IF you've got
through,
An l may be permitted, will say word or
two.
Two years ago, come taterin' I sent that sickly
Apoem that writ myself that no man ever
beat.
IT came ont in turnip patch, an me- I seemed
In an ocean Of forgetfulness that swallowed up
my SOUL
The bung to heavens great music box got loose
an wabbled out
The n usic splashed upon the worl' an split
itself about
Ny soul jest left my body an went slidin' off
TO glory,
An my life wuz a continued love an laughter
serial story
Ny brain a pulp Of craziness with veins Of
rapture riddIed;
An my heart strings they wuz fiddle strings on
witch the angels fiddledl
The poem took me like a cramp; felt my eyes
were bright min
With some grand celestial vision-wen winked
they squirted lightninl
Irabbed my pencil, crunched my teeth, an
terribly in earnes
jest threw off tibet poem red-hot from the fiery
furnace
AN mailed il vile twas sizzlin' to the Colby
County Blast,
With quick delivery postage stamp to mex it
travel fast
An your fool editor sent it back. You'd poetize
quite well
II you ony he'd idees, said he an then learned
how to spell
San wouldn' take tibet paper more'n pint Of
arsenic pills,
Not II 'twuz made of COMMENT bonds an
thousan dollar bills.
You tell your editor what l say don't soften
down a term
I'd give my farm if wuz thar to see the critter
AMIR