The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1890-05-24
JOHNNY fuLroN's WAYS.


The oil town Of Petrolia. which has
recently been burned, had in its flush
DAYS a character In Johnny Fulton.
He was n young man from kittanning,
Pa. who pretended 10 practice law.
but he was SO very busy having fun
that he had no time TO waste In any
other pursuit. Fulton never missed
an opportunity TO make some one the
victim Of sell of some kind. He was
n wonderfully plausible liar, and IL
was fayorite amusement OF his 10
take "A seat In n lunch-room alongside
of stranger. and while holding him
spellbound with some amazing story
of life in the oil regions. steal the food
of the strangers plate and eat IL. He
had acquired great expertneSs with the
fork in this business. but his success
lay in his skill In weaving romance
that riveted the listeners attention TO
n degree which made the pilfering of
n potato or spoonful of beans from
his plate an easy matter.
One day he bamboozled farmer out
of an entire barrel OF cider with the
same facility that he would have har-
pooncd biscuit of of his plate.
At this time the mud was hardly
less than two feet deep on the streets
OF the town. The farmer made his APP
pcarance with a barrel OF cider on his
wagon seeking q purchaser for it.
Fulton hailed him and began negotia-
tons for the cider, which. he said, was
of much more Importance to him than
the price. The price. i'm fact. was no
object. He said he was about 10 open
n new store and he intended 10 treat
his friends to the cider rs card for
custom, "a sort of free blow TO every
body"
After being assured by the farmer
that the cider was the best that could
be made he accepted the terms and
volunteered TO pay 81 extra If tho
farmer delivered the cider in the storo
tapped and on box ready for bust
ness. The farmer wrcstled with the
barrel for nearly an hour before he
got il through the mud TO the side
walk. Fulton required him 10 carry
water from the creek and wash the mud
of the barrel before rolling il into the
vacant room where he sail hc intend
ed 70 open large stock OF goods.
The farmer finally got faucet into
the barrel. rolled IL on box. and then
Fulton began TO call in his friends.
Everybody who passed along the
street was urged TO come ia and par
take.
You won't mind drawing of the
cider for the boys he remarked in his
glib aud oily way, land then / will
have the. pleasure of introducing you
TO few of my friends.
AS the crowd filed in Fulton would
receive them with flourish. and say:
MIR. Jones this is Farmer Wayback.
Farmer Wayback, shake hands with
Mr.. Smith, In shis way he introduced
Tom. Dick and Harry until the demand
for the farmers services ut the faucet
became too great 10 waste any time on
mere civilities. It was all Farmer
Wayback" could do to twist the faucet
and keep the empty cups filled.
Fulton drank deeply himself and en-
livened the occasion with piquant re-
marks, 10 the effect that the expense
could 90 hang when il came TO open
ing new store aud doing the square
thing by the boys. He told the farmer
the cider was a great success aud he
could bring IN a barrel on the same
terms every day for week and two on
Sunday II il WAS rs good rs the present
article. He was going TO pour liba-
ton 10 every man, woman and child
that came along If it took all the cider
In Butler county.
1t never occurred 10 the farmer to
ask such liberal. wholc-souled young
man for a settlement. and Fulton con-
tinued TO shower his bounty upon the
crowd OF loafcrs until the cider began
to get low in the barrel. This was tho
signal for him to quietly retire from
the festive scene and seek seclusion
elsewhere.
The farmer ladled out the cider as
long as it lasted, and when the last
dppcrful had been yielded up the
crowd also forsook him and left him
holding the empty barrel on the box
and vainly waiting for Fulton's return.
After waiting until dark, and the
young man came not, he rolled the
barrel into the wagon and. taking a
seat astride of il. drove away with the
remark
IF that darned cuss gifts this barrel
ho'll be smarter than / am. b'goshl'-
~ y World.