The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-01-27
BRIG BITS.

PERFORMANCES are tle most charitable of
men, Tor they are always anxious 70 take the
DIST view OF their fellow creatuTes.-6G. timlOre
-Ao1ericGH.
THERE ARE MY who viii grumble at the
weather. or anything in sight, and Il they have
not trouble enough tney Will 90 out and borrow
t-PicIyuae.
SIBERsrEIN TO dock lab0rer. who has rescued
nsml-Ny 70 not kno peter as y pull me out
OF de water py der heels unit make me lose
q'arter cut OF my p0csec: Time.
o. You are the twentieth in the class, Hans
mat means you are al the very foot
w Ell. papa. can help d. il there are no more
boys Ia the Clasp Fsiegeade Biatter.
NIRs. MUDDsIcK-Haye you anyt hing that will
help ep our skirts out Of the III "a:
Miss Pert-We have some elegant embroidered
sAA stockings, madame.-B0st0n Herald.
BRIGGs-What would be an appropriate pres
ent Ter me to give my typewriter girl:
Braggs-f sne's auytni z hEe IN ne. I would
recommend spelling boOk.-Terre Hdute En-
press
Il saw BRADSHAW laughing at one of his own
jokes this morning"
20, well. you must remember that 20 per cent.
Of bradshaw jokes aren't mis- own. '-HdTper's
Bazar
A WOMAN is living in Ohio somewhere who is
ll2 wears old The phenomenal old lady is re-
Inarkaole not so much on account OF her age,
out because she IS wiling 70 acknowledge it
CteCeiGHd NeJcs.
VISITOR TO EDIToR- Could you use an entirely
original poem on The Narcotic Weedg"
Editor-l could. of course but as long as
matches are 50 cheap don't see the use.-Lip-
plncOtfS Magazine.
OLD LADY Ito her son}-I wish you a happy New
Year, my son, and pc you viii improve in
wisdom, knowledge and virtue.
Small boy politely and innocently)-Tha
you, ma an; the same TO you-Ecctdnqe.
CYNICAL MAN says: II you want to keep a
friend never do busn IS with MIN If he takes
advantage OF you, you viii hate him. II you
discover that you have missed an opportunity
To trick him you VIII hate yourself. "-Ierds
oJttngs
CONTEMPORARY, anent the recent Chinese
founders and 400 souls 20 down" This goes TO
shOw that the "new theology and probation
after Geath' lack general acce -tance as yet
Boston Traveller.
SrRANGE.-Newy Accepted Suitor-Wen,
Bobby, you will nave new uncle soon; [ am
your Aunt Mary choice for a husband
b )bby (surpriSed)-WeI, that's strange. 1
heard her tell mamma only yesterday that you
were Hooson's choice.-LUe-
"WHAR's Bill"
Gone to Heaven, guess"
ID sadsn
Guess 50. Tried to rAe my broncho.''
'Whars he buried?''
Amt buried. He never come down. ''-yelg
York Sun.
=, AUNT MEHErABsL-Now, chill, yo' go outen
the sunshine TO a spell, an IF yo' meets wild de
doctah don yO' let him done see yo' TO eff yo'
does an, he axes yo' how yo' gettin along dat'H
be anodier dOilan outen 20 po' oil mammv's
pocket, an she done got no doAans 10 spa
PHILADELPHIA Inquirer.
MEDICAL ITEM.-A.-Dr. S. is very sick again.
B.-Nhy, l heard that Dr. W. treated him
successfully. and that in consequence he was
restored to health.
A--Yes, aus so; but it worried DR. S so
much that Dr.. ". cured him that he had a re-
iapse.-Ieras S.fttngs.
FRITz-Father, do help me with this example.
1 cant get tae answer.
Father, returning the slate after vain efforts
We'll, can't get it night either
trltZ-Inere- nowi tomorrow l shall get
bad mark, and ali because you can't do an ex-
ample.-Fttegende Batter