Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1890-06-16
HOW HE DRESSED FREDDY.
The Conceited Father Thought He Know
It All, But He Didn't.


Thorn in the New York Weekly, that
they can dress the baby much moro
deftly and expeditiouslyt than the mother
can perform the same operation. That
is, if they only set themselves about it.
''Of course there is no doubt Of that"
says tho man to himself. "a man can
do any thing better than woman, and
not make half the fuss and talk about it.
Women wear themselves nll out talking
things over. Why, woman will talk
moro about making a flatiron-holder
than man would about building q
Westinghouse. When q man is going
to do any thing he goes to work and
does it. He doesn't have to run all
over tho neighborhood to ask every ono
he knows about it and then do as he
has mind to, as woman will do"
And so, having heard him boast of his
capabilities for years, some fine morn
ing, when his wife's head aches and tho
feminine deity of the kitchen has given
notice, the mother Of the family invites
him to dress the baby.
The baby is big enough to walk
around and have n finger in every pic,
but it will be "the baby" till a later edi-
ton appears.
Tho man who knows It all smiles tri-
umphantly to himself. He is delighted
with tho opportunity of showing his
wife how much quicker he can do it than
sho can. And he'll see if that baby is
+ going to run all over creation after cats
and things, and cry half the time while
no is doing it. Discipline is what is
needed with children.
He calls the baby to him.
"Stand there, Freddy, while papa
finds your clothes, like good boy"
Freddy places himself in position,
while his pa goes in quest of the raiment
belonging to the juvenile. Freddy spies
a bird on the top of tree in the yard,
and he climbs on the piano to got high
up ut the window, and no knocks down
a couple of bundles of sheet-music, his
sister Fanny's now hat that she left
there last night when she came homo
from tho party 80 tired that she could
hardly get upstairs to bed; and then
poor Freddy slips, and grabs the win
dow-shado to save himself, and brings
1t down, fixtures and all, and draws a
doublc-tracked railroad on the polished
rosewood of the piano with his wildly
clutching finger-nafls, and lands safely
on tho floor, bowling with rage at not
having been able to get the bird.
BY that time his pa has found most of
his clothes, and Is ready to begin. But
Freddy isn't ready. He wants to sec
the pictures in the album. Then he in
sists on hearing the watch tick. Then
he wants to catch the dog by tho tail
and give it good pull, to see if it is on
fast. Then he wants to kiss mamma.
'Stand stitlr' says his pa, putting on
the severe look that he uses on his in
subordinate clerks in tho dingy down.
town Office, land SEQ if You can keep
your tongue still while l dress you!
Don't wiggle SO, Freddy! Stand still
Put down your foot! Let that cat aloneI
Here, you littlo mischief, stop chewing
that lead-pcncil! Hold up your head,
can't your Put this nanu tnrougn-no,
! that one! Good gracious, it is strange
that women will mako pants for babies
wrong end tot And more buttons on
'em than would DO needed to button mp
regiment of men! Now then, for the
waist! Rumph! that is made the same
! way, all tho buttons in tho wrong
| place. No arm-holcs, no nothing
Freddy, hold still tell you it doesn't
hurt you! Yes, tits on right. 1t can't be
! on any other way. by Jove, I've forgot
tho drawers, and tho stoclsingst Here
: put up that foot. Good gracious, Freddy
can't you stop wiggling your tocs2 Hold
yourleg stiff. There, now. Now well
put on tho little mans collar What an
outlandish contrivancc to fasten collar,
tt doesn't stay put anywhere. Let's see
the bow goes under itP No, it must &c
over it. Koop your head still. What
arc you bobbing so for9 Lift up you,
arms, Freddy! Why, what the de,ce IL
the matter with this child's armsP He
can't move 'om. Don'tcry, Freddy Lei
mo look. Do stop that bawling. Thi.
all comes OF your mothor's humorina
you 80. say, Fred, stop this noise