The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1890-05-14
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
For we find them but once in while.
-E7Id Wheeler Witco,

"Throw physic to the dogs he said.
She did Next day the dogs were dead.s
-Washington Post.
"Papa, what is green grocer
"He's a grocer who tries to sell sugar
without sand in it."
One can stand it, perhaps, from an
enemy, but no man likes to be cut by
barber.-Nei0 York Ne,os.
It does not seem right to charge an
enemys battery after the guns have been
paid for. PittsJuyg Chronicle.
"Why do you call your parrot Hon
estv?" "Becausc Honesty is the best
Polly, see?"-Philadelpdia Times.
When YOU have chosen the proper way,
And the proper thing 20 do,
There's sure to be some fool to say:
81 wouldn't if l were YOU
"Give me the man who sings at his
work, says a writer. He can have hlm'
Also the man who whistles at his work.
-Ncw York Nelcs.
Scribblerus-'Did you like my last
booker Miss Pert-''O, have you
written your last one! I'm SO glad y
Laurence american.
The mouth of the Amazon River is
six hundred miles wide. Good gracious!
Suppose 1t took it into its head to yawn.
-PhiddelphiG Times.
"Do you believe in corporea! punish
ment, Naior?" "No. l do not think
that penalties should ever be inflicted by
subordinate officers. "-BaEdr.
Teacher of Political Economy-'You
may mention an infant industry"
Lively Young Students Sitting still and
sucking ones thumbs 20 Chicago Times.
ga little of everything, gentlemen,
said the boarding mistress, atfably, Gin
the way OF variety makes the spice OF
! life" and she told the waitress to bring
! on the hash.
"Blood will tell, sir. 1t is blood
makes the hero" "You don't know
what you are talking about. Hero, in
deed. You evidently never saw how
blood runs in a battle, ,'-Bazar
John-'I started to read some of your
Jokes last night, but before | got hall
through | was most unfortunately inter
rupted. " Jack-"How was that!' john
al fell asleep. YANKEE Blade.
Patient-"I say, doctor, what sort of
a lump is this on the back of my neckF
Doctor-"It is nothing serious, but l
would advise you, nevertheless, to keep
your eye on it. t."-Teras ,SJtiHgs.
Indignant Young Man-'Waiter, your
coat sleeve dipped into this lady's soup.
Obliging Waiter-'Don't mention it,
sir, it will wash ont. What kind of fish,
please l"-Phiadelphia Inquirer.
Scroggs-s'Y You look rather downcast,
old man; anything of note happened to-
dayl" Griggs-"Yes, mine for thou
sand fell due, and | didn't have a cent
with which to pay it. ."-HaredTd Lam-
pO0a.
Miss Hyde Parller-"Do you know
Mr.. Stone, the SCULPTOR Miss Breezy
(of Chicago)-"Do II Well, | should
twitter. held his chizzles many time
while he sculped burst Of pa.'-AaH-
sey's Weekly.
Mr.. Rising Fuffty-"Sir, supposing |
should ask you for your daughters hand,
would -" Mr.. Stockson Bond -
"What!llw Mr.. Fluffy retiring)-
''But, of coure, sir am only supposing,
you know"
Judge-"Can you give any reasons
why you can't pay your debts" Delin-
uuent Debtor-"I have nine regsons,
your Honor; Il wife, mother-iu-law, six
children and an empty pocketbook. -
Ns,o York Tribune.
care you sure you are strong enough
for my workl' sob, yes, sir, you may
be sure as to that. Why, the last man
worked for was bigger than you, and
knocked him down and broke three OF
his ribs with one blow. Fiiegend,
Bldetter.
Mamma-''You must put an end to il
at once Penelope-"Surely you would
not have me decline man who saved my
lifew Mamma-"He may have saved
your life, my dear, but from what know
of him it is the only thing he ever die
? save. "-Lite.
, Doctor TO patient) )-"You are troubled
p with suffering, / believe. Patient lin
dignantly) -"No, sir, I-l-l-don1
? stu-stu-stu-stut ut-stut-stut-st stutte
, at all, but | sta-Sta-sta--stam -stam-stam-
stammer some, when / get excited. ~
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