St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-07-17
MICKEY'S BIG HENS.
Mr.. Finn Gets Jealous and.
Talks About African
Ostriehes.
&
They Lay Eggs That Knock
Ordinary Watermel0nS
Clear Out.
.Ssf
Their FOndneSS for Red Hot
Horseshoe Nails DeSeant-
ed On.
az 2
"A Rutabaga Turnip WithaSa
Core Of Dynamite Settles
the Race.

! New York Sun. a..
+ mickey, ply don't you say good
'evenin' t. yer auntie, whin she's comm
all the wa from Wilbur t. pass th'
tonne O. day wild We? Hav' ye no man
ners?n
f. Little Mike looked up from his geog-
raphy and saw his auntie standing in
the doorway looking at him reproach-
fully, a. ~ g.. -.
Mickey apologized for his careless
ness, and excused himself on the
ground that he had found a ''quare ami:
mall, in his book, in which he was
deeply interested.
San .fWhat is it loikew asked his
aunt, forgetting the discourtesy in her
desire for knowledge.
t'It's big hin, jist." s..,s..
rAn' is, it bigger'n my dominick,
Mickey?" asked his aunt, who prided
herself on having the largest chickens
in Wilbur. .7''E'sa-
''Bigger'n your dominick?" sneered
Mickey. ssMusha, your dominick would
only r'ach up till the big hin's ankles,
an him standing on his tip toes.''
''Dear, dear?n said his aunt in as
constituent; IAN does it tell all about tn
big hins in tn little Duke you have
there?" ~
t'Ay,si do, an a dale more funny
things. replied Mickey.
AN, is thin big hens speckled, or
. dominicks, or fwhat?'
They're. nather, auntie. They're
called ostridges, cause oStridge feath-
ers grows Oh 'em.".y
''D'ye hear that now. Biddy? Fax.
that b'y's head'll crack wan O. those da's
wild tn quare things in il"
Mrs. Finn looked fondiy upon her boy.
Love and admiration Shone upon her
face as she said:
"Musha, but th' angils'll take good
care o. him when he's planted"
Mr.. Finn had been sitting by the stove
smoking his Guilty pipe aud listening to
the conversation with great deal Of
interest. But there had been so many
evidences of his sons superior wisdom
of late that MIR. Finn was getting jeal-
Gus. In order to show that he had some
knowledge Of the subject under discus
sion, and being positive that he would
not be contradicted, he said:
''Thar's plinty O. thin ostridges In
Ireland; plinty o. thin. Fax. we c'ud
buy ostridge mate in BalIinaSloe mar
II
whin 1 was weeny little lad. Me,
father had two o. thin, an they use to
ate two bushels O. corn every da'. But
90 wan an tell yer aunty all about
them, Mickey. They're mighty quare
animals. SO they are, mighty gnare" %
Mr.. Finn having apparently estab-
lished in the minds Of his hearers his
familiarity with the ostrich, resumed
his silence and his pipe. Mickey was
surprised at his father. He well knew
the habitat of the '.big hins,D and he
also knew the disastrous consequences
which would ensue if he contradicted
his fathers statements. 2
well" said he, 'sthere's two kinds iv
ostridges-IriSh and Afrikan. The oS-i
tridges as lives in Afriky is ten fate
high. Ye'd hav' t. git a ladther t be
lukin' over wan o. thare backs. They
lay eggs as big as me fathers Sunda'
hat
Here Mr.. Finn interrupted with:
"Thrue fur We, me by, thrue fur we.
Nanny a tonne did | go out in me faith
er's haymoW in Ballinasloe an come
back wild two eggs loike watermelons
under my two arrumS. 20 wan wild yer
sthory, Mickey"
Mickey glanced at his father and
caught an angry movement OF his head
and suggestive wink of his left eye,
and then resumed:
ssWhin wan o. thin big hins is goin'
lay an egg yell see tn rooster standin'
up an crowin'- Observation-Disclosures, SO
veil hear 'em five miles over hill an
dale. Thin all tn nagurs comes runnin'
wild bushel baskets t. see who'll get thar
first"
'sBut, Mickey does they ate tn eggs
billed or raw?" said his aunt, eagerly.
Billed" said little Mike. refectiyely.
''Yo see. wans't upon a tonne they
used t. ate 'em raw. but now they bileS
'em in the same pot wild tn mission
aries'
AN fwhat kim G. things is thim?"
said his aunt.
Missionaries"
sYis.n
s'Oh, they're min. jist." interrupted
the elder Finn with an air of profound
wisdom. min that sails AVA in ships
t. t'ach the nagurs.''
AN does the nagurs kill them9" ex-
claimed the aunt, holding up her hands
in horror. ~
LAY they do, they do, bad luck t.
thin. JiSt cracks their skull with a
tomahaWk and filings 'em Until the pot
and sits there a-waltin'."
Mickey's aunt was alarmed. Her fears
for her personal safety prompted her to
say: "How far away is thin bloody
-heythins. Mickey"
"Oh, t'ousand miles be say, and
more be land"
''Thank tn saints fur that!" said the
aunt.
? s'An' fwhat does they be atin,'
Mickey, tn ostridges, mane?" asked
the old lady.
..Snaikes, replied little Mike.
Then, being warned by his fathers
angry glance that there were no snakes
in ireland, he corrected himself with:
..Th' kind as lives in Afriky does,
name. Snakes an sand. Tn sand IS
fer t. grind the snakes up in their
craps. They'll jis stoop down an pick
up snake out Nv th' road, and swally
him widout saying by yer lave.' It's
jis peck and swally, an Mr.. Snake
is gone loike string banes."
ssBut the rale Irish ostridge wouldn't
ate snakes" broke in Mr.. Finn. ''AvyI
coorse we couldn't expect that tn ami
mails 'u'd be differ from tn haythen can
nibylS themselves in haythen country.
Oh, but tn Irish ostridges were f0ine
animals and Crane top-knots and Crane
feathers. They was only two O. thin
en- they're dead now"
"An' fwhat killed them?" said
Mickey's aunt, eagerly.
"Well. wan o. thin was kilt attn
red-hot horseshoe nails out in Larry
Doolan's blacksmith shop, and tn other
died nat'ral death.'
ibid he kill himself wild paris grane?o
said Mickey, miSchieyOuSly.
I, 1vsr