The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-08-10
Wl(|Ij agile
MATRIMONIAL CHANCES.
THE HAVANA LOTTERY AND "a SURE
CARD FOR THE GRAND PRIZE"

Prize and Thousand BIanks-Which
Make the Best Wives, Rich Mems
Daughters or Poor liens Daughters?
Copyright by American Press Association.l
1t is an old, old saying that marriage
is lottery, and so 1t is, for neither man
nor woman can possibly know what card
he or she has drawn from the pack, shut
fisd, cut, shufied again by hooking
and inscrutable fate until their fingers
have closed upon one, voluntarily or i'll
voluntarily, they never can fully decide
which. and the choice made they find
themselves possessed of king, queen,
perhaps a knaye, or haply only 1.-The
deuce" or ''tha DIS bedstead," as l
have heard the four Of spades dubbed in
mock horror and di5,nay.
We're yen eFer IN q lottery country,
Havana, for instance: If SO do you re-
member the life-alJ-deatl interest, the
eager conversations, the mysterious
hints, the ineGllible method for selecting
the lucky number, that absorbed the
minds Of al men as the period for draw
ing the grand prize drew near? Have
you not, as you dined IN the cafe with
its s&s4Iass windows open to the plaza,
been half amused and half annoyed by
the persistent OFFERS OF quarter shares,
tenth shares, even smaller shares, in
some ticket more than likely to win the
grand prize, and wondered why, this be-
ing the case, the swa:thy, white toothed
and ginllet eyed yender didn't keep it all
for himself?
4 great risk, q periloUs venture, and
one IN which many fortunes, great or
small, have gone down, for it is a well
known statistic that for every success
made in q lottery there are some hun
dreds OF fixtures, and another curious
point is that while the successes are
generally very transitOry the failures are
very permanent. | can at this moment
think Of only one man sOhdly enriched
by a prize drawn in Il lottery, and l have
known Of dozen or more persons, great
and small, Of both sexes and al ages,
who have lost their all and become
hopeless or reckless through the intern
perate use Of lottery tickets
II is bad, very bad, and society looks
askance at the man or woman who gives
way to vice and brings disaster and an
noyance into his or her well bred circles
We don't ike Incorporate people parad-
ing their weakness among us, whether it
be for spirits, or opinion, or cards, or lot
terry tickets.
Indulge in one or all, my friend, II
your conscience, your doctor and your
purse do not forbid, but don't bore us
with your successes and don't scandalize
Us with your failures.
PAY and look pleasantr' is an admira-
bic rule in all sorts Of games of chance
or risk, and in no game is it more desira-
BILE to follow the maxim than in that Of
matrimony, for in no game are the
stakes higher, the risks more cOmpre-
hensive, the success more transitory and
the failure more Tuinous and final than
in this game, which, unlike the lottery,
Is cosmopolitan in its locality and per-
united by the laws of every nation.
One would suppose that a pursuit so
dangerous, and against which so many
voices have been raised, waters so diff
cult Of navigation that their shores are
Btrewn with wrecks, and their rocks and
shoals provided with bell buoys, whose
doleful dirges sound across the waves in
somber and UNDECIDED tones, would be-
some disused and forsaken; that the
game would be voted not worth the can
die and stricken of the fashionable list,
that the waters would be marked by a
glowing beacon spelling Dangerous! and
fOreverTnoTe avoided by all prudent
mariners; bat alas AID alas! one might
as well hope that the moths would hold
a general convention aad resolve not to
fly into candles amy more, or that the
Andover controversy would end in peace
and good viii and universal brotherhood.
People may learn much from the
schools and = little from the experience
of those vino have gone before, but one
thing they have not yet learned, and L
greatly fear never VIII learn, ana that is
to abstain from buying tickets in the
great matrimonial lottery, conducted
under government auspices and pat
ronized by me royalty, nobility and
gentry Of the civilized world!
Well, then, peSSielrs ct mesdames,
having warned you and perceiving, not
at all to my surprise, that you decline to
accept my warning, my next and most
philanthropic effort is to give you my
ideas upon the lUcEy number, TO mini
mize the risk and to offer you not a
tenth, not quarter, but whole ticket,
without money and without price, and
sure to win the grand prize
Do you ask ne, as l did the white
toothed, sharp eyed and swarJhy Span
lard, why. having the knowledge sure
to lead to wealth, l DO not myself
utilize it?
l will answer as he did, "SeHord, l
had rather enrich You than myself"
Wen, then, ladies first:
You mean to marry, If you can. and
you wish to have happy married life,
and you want 10 know the recipe. 1t is
Just this-ezpect morning ii all and &C
cept as a joyful surprise whatever good
you find IN nSCrimoay.
Keep your temper under all circum-
stances. even when you exhibit 1t freely.
Learn to hold your tongue.
Never tell your mother.
These and the cultivation of a few
nther virtues, such az a capacity for
keeping account OF your expenses. man.
aging servants, punctUslity and careful
but economical breakfast toilets, with
silence thereto. these viii insure, think,
IS comfortable acondiuon of mstrimony