Idaho news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1887-1891, 1890-01-18
sPEclMINs OF WIT.

pul ne Slt udF All ne same.
Sure signs-To meet funeral pro
cession is a sign OF death; to lose d
pocket-book containing bills of large
denomination is considered very un.
lucky.
do you know DIR. Shaw" "Yes;
he is member OF our church. Near.
/ " all the members employ him ms
their family physician" so, l see;
he is regular piller of the church,
Marion Harland says that the
coming woman will hive her own
bank account. This win prove pleas
ant news tor the coming man, espe-
eially if her bank account is big
anoughfor two.-Norristown Herald.
/ 1t is fact worth bordering that
though the night falls around us it
never breaks, whereas the day breaks
but never falls. We offer this deli
cate fancy to some struggling aspir-
ant for poetical hours.
1t will cost S109, 100000 to put
our seacoast in state of defence
against foreign foe, while it won't
cost us ten cents to mind our own
business and keep out of u row with
the rest of the world.
| Hattie-''What in the world did
Carrie marry that old man for?
Why, she is actually giving her life
away" Minnie-'.Not Mt all. She
is selling her life as dearly as posi-
BILE, He is awfully rich !"
The doetor-''I think, my dear sir
/ that it would be better to havea CON
sultation; your wife is seriously ILL., :"
anxious husband-"There, told my
wife long ago she ought tn haveprop-
er medical advice, but she was so
afraid of hurting your feelings. -
London Standard.
DO you ever receive contributions
written on both sides of the paper?"
asked gentleman, entering a news
paper office ..No, sir; never" EN-
phatically replied the editor. San
right; | was going to indorse this
check to your order, but Idon t want
you to break your rules" Then be
went out, leaving the editorin deep
green study.-Ionker's Statesman.
1t has often been said that the chief
characteristic of the epitaph is its
lack OF veracity, but tits perhaps bet
ter that it should err on the side of
kindness rather than wound thel
ing by a brutal truthiulness, as in
the case of an inscription written for
the tombstone of lazy man by one
who knew him well: Asleep las
usual)."
States Attorney: 80 the defend
ant did propose to you that you set
fire to the store and get half the
insurance. State now whether or not
he offered to protect you from all
risk of punishment at the hands OF
the law. What did he say about
that?" Witness: "Yes, sir; he prom
ised to see me through. Hesaid he'd
manage to catch me in the act and
let you prosecute me-"
Mrs Grubber: "Well, we'll! What
fools these editors be!' Mr.. Grub
Der: ''Eh?" Mrs. Grubber: "Here |
writ letter to the editor of the
Punkinville Trumpet, askin' what
would be proper an inexpensive to
git for weddin present; an here in
the paper he's printed list of about
a hundred things what folks gives as
weddin' presents, an there amt one
OF EN- costs less than dollar"
"Tell me, Uncle Charles" pleaded
Amelia, do you think that Henry
will make a good husband?" II
think he will, replied Uncle Charles
without hesitation. II offered him
cigar last evening and he took it
as freely as it was given. When he
opened his coat in search of a match
he exposed his waistcoat, and it's
two upper pockets were filed with
cigars. have no hesitation in say
ing that Henry will prove saving,
economical husband. - Boz ton
Transcript.
Several men were at work on the
patchwork of a new building. 1t was
the day after Thanksgiving, and
Mike and Pat were chums. Mike had
brought no dinner pail, as he had
been on a spree the night before.
About nine in the morning he got
very hungry, so he helped himself to
Pats dinner. When twelve struck,
Pat missed his dinner, and upbraid-
ed Mike for appropriating it. Faith
I did, "but III get we another one"
How are you going to get me an.
other one?" ''I'll soon show YOU"
There was small pet dog playing
around the building, belonging to
the lady in the next house. Mike
procured 81 small switch, and Selling
the dog by the back of the neck, be-
gan hitting him with the switch not