Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1890-01-02
SUNSET" COX'S HUMOR.
His Busy Life Irradiated BY Nerri-
ment-Some of His Many
Quaint RetortS.

mGhJ-SOIIC VI LIS 1ANhy
Quaint RetortS.
Congressman Samual Sullivan Cox is
dead, but Sunset" Cox, the iovial
humorist, the eloquent orator, the
genial, many-sided man of the world,
will live long in the memory of the
American people. A man of ideas, he
gave utterance to many notable
thoughts during his thirty years of
public service, stamping them with his
own individuality and, if possible, in
vesting them with some of that humOr
which was one of his most marked
characteristics.
Of his humor, some examples are
given here. They are taken from his
literary addresses, and cover the years
between 1862 and his death. The same
mark of originality is seen in all, and
possibly the only difference between
Che ieux d'esprit of his earlier and later
years is that the former are more
caustic and less playful than the latter.
Speaking of a political party he said
once that it was "a good deal like the
husband whose wife was about to
present wee stranger to the household.
The husband was in the next room
Waiting for the event in great excite
ment and very anxious to know its SEX.
The nurse appeared and he rushed for
ward and exclaimed: Am | a father or
am | a mother?"
Equally humorous are the following
gallies:
ireland is the Mark Tapley of ma
tions, always jolly under the most adj
verse circumstances
The Americans are a mosaic people,
and they have all humors. Therefore
they can no more tell why they have
their various humors than Mozart
could tell why his nose was Mozartish."
Il have known people who had a
great deal of fun when they smiled
particularly at election time"
IAN Irish woman, who had married
asecond husband, said to me once: oh,
how happy poor Charles would be if he
could only see by what an agreeable
gentleman he has been replaced!'n
81 had no idea until recently that the
pro tempore Speakership was such an
exalted position in American states
manship. Had | known it | might have
put on more style, stills and scollops
while l held it,"
Speaking of a meeting at which par
liamentary rules had not been observed,
he said: IF some of our parliament
arians in Congress had been present
they would have been stark mad. not
with the rabies of the canine, but with
the potential absolutism of an unre.
strained gavel.n
His cosmopolitanism is shown in this
sentiment; Il do not care where a
man was born so long as he is good
and just. The Savior was born in
Bethlehem and yet we worship Him,
although he was a foreigner in that re-
spect."
To his constituents, who did not want
him to accept the mission to Turkey,
and who called on him in a body, he
said: This scene is an u~nexampled
one in my experience, and l hardly
know how to respond. l am somewhat
in the position of the knight at King
Arthur's round table, spoken of in
Sponsors 'Fairie Queen who loved his
money and was jealous of his Tife-his
money-box was burned and his wife
ran away
Was ever woful wight
In such a woful plight?'
"a Turkish soldier neal the manger
at Bethlehem once allowed me to ex-
anime his Martini rifle. l said. You
have no occasion to use it in this holy
placer He said significantly that he
held the Latin and Greek priests apart
by his arm of precision, otherwise
there would be no peace where the
angelic choirs once sang, Peace on
earth, good will toward menu
The light of the Gospel and Penn
sylvania petroleum, the light of ASIA
we send free to the dreaming orient"
His successor to Turkey, he told the
President, should be in sympathy with
the missionaries and the educational
societies, and he then added j~ocularly:
81 don't know that | am so very relig-
ious myself, but whenever [ needed any
more than the ordinary amount | { drew
on Mrs. Cox, who is a very good Presby-
terrain and always ready to assist me
when she can"
He defined a Turkish salaam thus:
''The Turk takes up the earth to show
his humility, places his hand to his
heart to indicate cordiality. grasps his
tongue in displaying his willingness to
talk and then touches his head in con-
irmation of the sincerity of his well
come and to prove that his head is in
accord with what his heart feels
In Turkey as in America | notice
that the psopls begin the day at sunset,
and so | never so back Oh Sunset if l
a help itI'
Il went to Turkey with one wife,
and l found her quite as much as l
could manage. The Sultan has 4S4
wives. He doesn't know them all.
They have their names painted on their
boudoir doors.n
Il went down in a tomb near Thebes
and read a mans history. He was an
agriculturist and a h~orticulturist and
was 1890 years old. He was dead"
THE Sultan once asked me if there
we're any immigrants from Egypt to
America. / told him there were two.
L had shipped them in boxes. He wa:
willing to let them go as they could