davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1890-11-19

IT is charged with due solemnity that
a man received from the Agricultural,
Department catnip seed for asparagus
seed, and that all the cats of the coun-
try congregated in his garden. We do
not know how much truth there is in
the story, but at all events we do not
require the story to strengthen our be-
lief that the Agricultural Department
is not first-class seed firm.-Western
Rural
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1890-11-19

i MS Will Wdter
a b ut ffty-fout
acres. An inch Of
water is employed
in ordinary engi.
neering a n d 10 l.
l72sth part of one
cubic foot, United
S ia ties standard.
The usual method
of raurinr the vol
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1890-11-19

MONKEYS that obtain their nutriment in
the tops of trees have lofty browse-Texak
Siftings.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1890-11-19

I'm a stranger about these parts" ex.
planned the new barber who was undecided
as to which side he should comb the custom.
er's hair-Yonkers Statesman.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1890-11-19

A YOUNG lady Of our acquaintance who Is
very fond Of minister says her love Ii for
reverend eyer.-Binghamton Leader.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1890-11-19

CHECK Coldsiznd Bronchitis with Hale's
Honey of Hcreihound and Tar.
Pixies To0thaDhe Drops cure in one minute
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1890-11-19

"JUsT see that trombone player. His face
g red as beet from blowing hard" "Yes;
lie certainly ought to know what is meant
" strains of music. boston Herald
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1890-11-19

The California pears in the windows
of the fruit stores, marked Napoleon.
are rousers.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1890-11-19

NEARLY every article sold Is cheapened, in
cost of production, at expense Of quality.
Dobons' Electric Soaps cruelty to-day what
it was in 1865, absolutely pure, harmless and
uniform. Ask your grocer for it Look out
for limitations.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1890-11-19

STRONG MISUNDERSTANDING attorney
to witness)-You saw the prisoner when
he was drunk, you sayi Witness-Yes; ]
had s'fuu" view Of him-Epoch.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1890-11-19

Do NOT suffer from sick headaclfea moment
longer. 1t is unnecessary. Carter's Little
Liver Pills will cure you. Dose, one little
pill. Small prica Small dose. Small pill.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1890-11-19

A SIGN of the times-The advertising
fence.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1890-11-19

'THIs boat smells dreadfullyof onions"
"Yes, madam" said the captain, ''she is Q
very leeky craft IN. Y. Ledger.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1890-11-19

As SOON as boy learns to whistle, hi
feels that he has really begun to live
RAMS Horn.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1890-11-19

The poet is an ddyl fellow, and that's
probably why tho public stanza verse TO be-
ing ode by him-Binghamto Ledger.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1890-11-19

"Yss, all my houses arc rented except the
new ono which ID the best Of oil" Last
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1890-11-19

SHOOTING matches-Yo Dung ideas at school
IN. Y. Mail and Express
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1890-11-19

IT is better ito be right than to be left
Boston Herald
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1890-11-19

AFTER al, the suspension is the best for
Of bridge. 1t is without pier.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1890-11-19

A COUNTER irritant-Ihe shopper whe
doesn't buy any thing.-Boston Herald.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1890-11-19

THE girl who is often lost in admiration
easily finds herself in love-Elmira Gazette.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1890-11-19

The tobacco habit-A cigar wrapper
Texas Siftings.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1890-11-19

ONE of the finest-The point.of needle
IN. Y. Mail and Express.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1890-11-19

TIE best cough medicine is Piso's Cure
for Consumption. Sold everywhere. $50.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1890-11-19
EVERY goose has a HISTORY.

FOND of short cake-The ice0,an.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1890-11-19

A FRIEND in kneed-The trousers pressel
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1890-11-19

NOT always dow fellows-Dwsrfs.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1890-11-19

ToREGuIArE the stomach. liver and bowels,
and promote digestion, take one Of Csrter's
Little Liver Pulls every night Try them.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1890-11-19

CHAMPION Of the fleet-The sneak thief.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1890-11-19

A "HoLD-so1TR. mondays dinner.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1890-11-19

The tramp who works has no profess
sional pride.-Rams Horn.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1890-11-19

DANGEROUS eating-De~iled wings.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1890-11-19
SJAtC!::o. &C.! !!:!:; OIL
BRUISES

746 Dolphin Street,
Baltimore. Nd.
Jan'y IS, 1890.
II was bruised bad.
" in hip and side BY
q fall and suffered Sc
verely. st. Jacobs OIL
completely cured
me-" WV. C. HARDEN,
Member of State
Legislature.
| IN m AaDoaAaea IA
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1890-11-19
sPRAINs.
Ohio & Miss. Railway.
Office President and
General Manager,


Cincinnati, Ohio
"My foot suddenly
turned and gave me
Q very Sc verely
sprained ankle. The
application Of st.
Jacobs Oil resulted at
once in arelief from
pain"
W. W. PEABODY,
Prest. 4 Gen1 Man'gr.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1890-11-19

yHE CHARLES A. VoeELfR CO.. saniaors. ~
Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1890-09-11
why the Hours Have sixty Minutes.

The reason our hour is divided into
sixty minutes is simply and solely be-
cause in Babylon there existed, by tho
side of the decimal system of notation,
another system, the sexagcsimal, which
counted by sixties. Why that number
should have been chosen is clear enough,
and it speaks we'll for the practical sense
of those Babylonian merchants. There
Is no number which has so many divls-
ions as sixty. The BabyloDians divided
the SUMS daily journey into twcnty-four
parasangs, or 10 stadia. Each parastng
or hourswas sub-divided into sixty min
utes. A parasang is about German
mile. and Babyionian astronomers COM
pared the progress made by the sun dur
ing one hour, at the time OF the equinox,
to the progress made by good walker
during the same time, both accomplish
ing one parasang. The whole course of
the sun during the twenty-tour equinoc-
tial hours was fixed at twenty-four para
sangs. or 100 stadia or 200 degrees. This
system was handed on to the Greeks, and
Hipparchus, the great Greek philosopher.
who lived about $50 B. c., introduced
the Babvlonian hour into Europe. Ptol-
emv who wrote about $50 A. D., and
whose name still lives in that Of the
Ptolenic system of astronomy, gave still
greater currency to the Babylonian way
Of reckoning time. 1t was carried along
on the great stream of traditional know
ledge through the middle ages. and,
strange to say, it survived the French
Revolution; for the French, when revo,
lutionizing weights, measures, coins ana
dates. and subjecting all to the decimal
system of reckoning, were induced by
some unexplained motive to respect our
CLOCKS and watches, aud allowed our
diaIs to remain sexagesimai-that Is,
Babylcnian-each hour consisting oil SIX
~ minutes : ew York Dispatch
Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1890-09-11
Pretty Irish Girls.

In the remoter districts, away from
the villages, among the peaty boys and
the hawthorn hedges. the roses bloom
red in the cheeks of the Irish peasant
girl.
However she manages it on the stir
about and potatoes, she grows lush and
vigorous and full of sap, like the green
things that fill the island.
The colleen Dawn is straight, she is
not infrequently tall, her shoulders are
broad, her waist large and supple, and
she looks as strong as young man.
Her hair is brown, perhaps with a
shade of chestnut; sometimes 1t has
ripple in it, but oftener it is lnsterless
and straight, and, very possibly, SO
heavy as to be almost mop-like.
have seen peasant girls with braids
that we're like clubs, the tresses when
unbound reaching the knees.
Her forehead is low, and the wave OF
hair is drawn back to leave it uncov-
cred; her eyes are frank and blue, her
complexion clear, though exposure to
the weather has darkened it and put
into it shades of yellow-brown, and the
red in her cheeks is as deep as in the
poppies that brighten the wheat fields.
1t is a splash of color, daring, as il an
artist had flung it on dark spot OF his
canvas, more brilliant than one ever
sees in the drier climate of what they
are here pleased to call "the States.
spreading its warm blush quite from
cheekbone to chin.
The peasant girl is often fne-looking,
sometimes superlatively handsome. but
never with what an American would con-
slider any delicacy of beauty. She has
few of the soft curves of more luxuri-
ously nurtured young womanhood.
Her arms are not rounded They
look muscular and hard Her bust Is
fat, like an Amazon's. She is not
dimpled, but she is sturdy. as becomes
q scion of the @foinest pisanthry IN the
world"
Her greatest charm is her fresh and
splendid vitality.
She wears q red kerchief, over her
head OF folded about her shoulders, and
a petticoat of brown or dark blue stun,
which she weaves herself. and which
stops half way between her knees and
her ankles
Six days in the week her feet are
brown and bare. They are large feet,
and look better in their naked shapeli-
ness than when disguised for Sundays
and holidays under coarse yarn stock
ings-these she knits-and the cheap
laced shoes, with the peculiar combina-
ton of thick soles and high heels.
which come to the small market towns
For defence against the weather she
has q long black cloak gathered at the
neck and provided with hood, and
which is probably the most characters
tic article left of the old peasant cos
tume.-Limerick letter, IN SdUaTl1aah
AelCS.
Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1890-09-11

THE London Daily News thus explains
some of the difficulties of census taking
in India: THE great difficulty with the
Indian population is not so much to pre-
vent false returns as to prevent false and
ridiculous notions about the motives of
the Government. Millions of people are
ignorant enough to believe that every
great public work - bridge, barracks,
railway, canal : is started with a propi-
tiatory sacrifice of human life to the gods.
Perhaps the most general impression is
that the census is taxing trick Not
the least interesting portion of the CEN
sus Of 1891. will be that which deals
with the child-widows and child-wives,
Of whom there are many millions in
India, and who are TO be the subjects Of
the next great legislative reform. In
England the question of ages will be q
delicate point. In India it will be 3
question of names, and the ordinary ma
tive Indian householder is pretty sure to
resent as a mortal insult questions about
the female members of his family"
Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1890-09-11
SPARKS OF WIT.


Tar sheet of spray is hemmed by the
shore.
CANVAS comes by the bolt, and so does
lightning.
A GREAT contractor-the girl who
laces tightly.
BRoUGHT mp with round turn the
oaksn bucket.
WHEN a man is short he does not re-
main long at the races.
A SAD sight in this world is an old
hen trying to plume herself to look
chic.
A MAN is never so anxious about how
time passes as when he has Just got o
new watch
@SHoRT and suite" said the man who
paid the last dollar he had as rent for
his apartments.
WHAT would we do without doctors?'
well. We might get along. but what
would the druggists do?"
THEN you think they live happily
together?" Il know it. From
what?" @Their breath. They both eat
onions"
PAPA said talkative little girl,
@am / made Of dust2" ~No, my child.
II you were, You would dry up once III
awhile"
IT has been discovered that the cash
boys we're very lazy in the DAYS Of Job,
for he says, All the days Of my APP
pointed time will wait till my change
comes"
WAITER GIRL-Ummummummum-
mumumumerum. Experienced Guest
Ummummumerum. Waiter Girl
What did you say, sir? Guest-Same
as you did. Bring 'em along.
SHE (poetically)-It seems almost as
if we could for an instant stop the on
ward march of time by carrying on,
minds back to the past Does it notf
Hep Possibly; but rent day comes round
just the same.
Tom johnson doesn't appear to like
you any too well. Jack-No. He
actually hates me. / lived next door
to him for q number of years, and
played the cornet?" mo, kept hens
while he tried to cultivate garden
Two HUNDRED AND FORTY bones in tho
human body" is the way it reads in the
books. but short acquaintance with a
boarding house mattress will make al
most any man of spare build declare in
his soul that there hasn't been a fair
count.
$50 YOU are married, Jack" Il am,
jim" Il hope you considered the mat
ter well. 1t is q serious matter assum-
ing the responsibilities involved in mar
rage" you're wrong, my friend. l
have no responsibility at all now. My
wife's the boss
Mrs. TANeLE-Women are more
honest than men. You wouldn't hear
of absconding cashiers il all bank Off
cials were women. Mr.. Tangle- HIM.
we'll, women might not succeed as
cashiers, but they would certainly be
great as tellers.
INTERvIEwER-You have lived many,
many years. Now. what j wish TO ask
is, what was the happiest moment OF
your life? Old man-It has not come
vet. interviewer = Not come yet !?
When will it come? Old When
people cease to ask fools questions.
"WHAT is your fathers output this
year, Maud?7 inquired the cautious
young man of the manufacturers popu-
lar daughter. 1T is, so far, fifteen min
compoops and eight dudes responded
the maid, @but they didn't seem to mind
it much, after they first struck the pave
ment.
Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1890-09-11
he Randolph National Bank,
West Randolph, VT.

n,1ed 1873. Assets, almost s3OO, 900
asreral bal king and change business
. and md COLLECTIONS P mptly made.
~ s:.St drafts on England, ireland and Scot
and Letters of Credit furnished.
a. s deposits and general business Of this
II, sra constantly and rapidly increasing.
TSs location at such central point for bust
= convenience enables our customers in
- direction to transact business with US by
ls.ggrsph. telephone, mail or express, and get
tr,yns the same day.
4 H. accounts Of business men solicited; 70
Iaioh prompt attention viii be given
| 10 individuals having naoney on hand wait
Y nerfectly secure place for their money.
1. xbich certificates Of deposits, payable ON
|.msnd win be issued.
4 sistanee viii be given in obtaining Safe
L-sstments for our patrons.
I'M III. DUBOIS, President,
ifoHN w. R0WELL, Vice-President,
~ r. I. DUBOIS, Cashier.
The Opelousas courier., 1890-10-04
CnnntaAitnd Rare Coins.

a gigantic system of counterfeiting
has its headquarters in New York, with
branches III various other sections of tho
United States. During the last annual
sale Of valuable and antique coins by
Dealer Hazletine, Of Philadelphia what
to all appearance GEMS to be a OF the
rare silver dollars bearing the date OF
1905 sold for the sum of $500. This
dollar was one of a number of spu-
rious pieces that have lately flooded the
market. 1T was sent to the nurnismatlc
association and examined by IN expert.
II was q dollar of she date of a1S15'
with the second figure "1a struck out
and n cipher substituted before the 20
by means Of d tiny block. This discov.
cry led to an investigation BY the asse1ia-
ton Of all the principal coin collections
in the country, and it was soon found
that q systematic counterfeiting of rare
aud antique United States coins existed
somewhere. One of the sources of this
supply was found to be at Neoga, Cum
berland Oount3. I'll. Recently 9 heavy
letter was received bymaiI at the Indiana
rrison at Michigan City addressed to
Pete Mccartney, one of the most motor
ious Of Treasury counterfeiters. The
letter was from M~cCartney's wife, who
had 30 often engineered his escapes from
prison. III The. letter was incloscd 4 coin
.cf the date Of 1905 wrapped IN a blue
ribbon. The clerk submitted the cointo
al expert, and it was found under a mi
crogcopic examination to be q clear and
W-eIl-executed counterfeit. Chief Bell
Of Washington, was notified Of the dis
eoyery and the movements of McCart-
news wife at Neoga were watched. It
was found that she was IN league with the
counterfeiters, and at last the mint vas
located in the garnet of the house Of one
81 the citizens Of Neoga who lives on the
outskirts of the CHieago Hsrad.
The Opelousas courier., 1890-10-04
Panic and BICYCLES.

Sir Evelyn Wood, of the British army,
has expressed himself in favor of the for
nation of a corps of 20 1000 volunteers
mounted on bicycles. Sir Evelyn is an
undoubted authority on military affairs,
but has he ever studied the influence OF
panic on the bicycle2 The ability of the
rider to keep his machine on its legs, so
to speak, depends wholly upon his cool
ness. The moment he become nervous
his knees, as well as his resolution,
weaken, and his bicycle "wabbles' and
comes to grief. Imagine the effect of a
round shot crushing through a corps OF
fresh bicyclists, and scattering broken
wheels and splintered backbones in its
path. PROFESSIONALLY the moro excitable
members of the corps would be given to
"wabble," collisions would ensue, and in
the course of the next five minutes the
twenty thousand bicycles would be mex
tricable entangled one with another, and
the enemy would make prisoners of the
entire corps-that is, if the enemy could
spare the time necessary for disentangline
its prisoners from their bicycles, a task
which would probably require from SIX tt
ten days.-New York Herald.
The Opelousas courier., 1890-10-04
ss sygT;a3sS
4 CURES WHERE ALL ELSE FAILS.
Best Cough Syrup. Tastes good. Use ErA
. In time. Sold by druggists. Fl
v A@HyKSTWN TAR EGSYy


We offer you a ready made medicine
for Coughs, Bronchitis and other dis
eases of the Throat and Lungs. Like
other so-called Patent Medicines, it is
well advertised, and having merit it has
attained to a wide sale. Call it a "Nos-
trum" if you will, but believe us when
we say that at first it was compounded
after a prescription by a regular physi-
clan, with 10 idea that it would ever go
on the market as a proprietary medicine.
Why is it not just as good as though
costing fifty cents to a dollar for a pre-
scription and an equal sum to have it put
up at a drug store7
The Opelousas courier., 1890-10-04
Moss-covEREp PASTURES.

There is more than usual amount of
moss in old pastures this year, an indica-
ton, first, that the season has been un-
usually wet, and secondly, that the soil
needs draining. Moss grows where
nothing else will. The land may have
an abundance of latent fertility, but only
such r~udimentary plants as the moses
can use it. IF the moss has not appeared
N previous years, blowing and reseeding
with clover and timothy will cure the
evil. So long as the clover lasts the
mos will usually not appear, as the clover
roots will themselves afford sufficient
drainage. After the clover dies out moss
quickly comes in, as the grasses which
succeed it do not extend their roots
downward. and have less power to re-
move superfuous water,-Boston Quit
cdtor.
The Opelousas courier., 1890-10-04

LARGE AND SMALL NURSERY TREES.
Every intelligent nurseryman has had
customers who wants Charge trees to
set out. A purchaser once said to the
nurseryman: IT want big trees, none of
your puny ones; / may not live long
enough for the small trees to bear" He
took all the large trees he could find.
Inthree years he called again. II sup
pose," said the nurseryman, athat you
wish only large trees: I can supply YOU"
mo- said the purchaser, sIdon't want
any of your monsters. I've had enough
of them; they either died or made no
growth-not one grew half as we'll as
the small ones. Give me your small,
thrifty trees: they are the ones for me.
The truths, no nurseryman can afford
to dig up half the large and long roots OF
the large trees, which have already run
many feet in every direction and they are
cut off to mere stubs. Years ate required
for them to recover from the shock of re-
moval, even il they grow at all. The
small and thrifty ones are removed with
a large portion of their young roots, and
are scarcely checked by the removal.
They cost less in digging, less in pack
ing, less In freight and express charges,
and less in setting out.-Ihe Country
Gentleman.
The Opelousas courier., 1890-10-04
sKrMs AND MAKES BUTTER. TOO.

Al practical machine for dividing new
milk into skim milk. and butter OF one
operation has been devised. It consists
Of a separator revolving 5000 revolutions
per minute in the usual way. Skim milk
accumulates at the periphery and the
cream masses itself finto the vertical an
nular layer inside it. In the. centre oil
the vessel Is an inner o~pen-topped com
partment, slightly c~onical, the mouth be,
ing the smallest part. The cream gradu-
ally accumulates in'this inner vessel, in
which is a light padndle-wheel or cage.
This wheel runs loose on its spindle and
by an eccentric arrangement cor be
pressed into the wal. of cream around tbs
inside of the compartment, when it re-
wolves at the same peripheral speed.
The following is a summary OF theexpia.
nation of ~its-action by the makers: Cream
consists of butter gaobules mixed with .
small quantity of skinned milk. Il the
last traces of milk be removed the
globules will coalescetand form perfectly
pure cream. The bars,of the wheel keep
parting the cream and thus enable the
skim milk that was in the cream to es-
cane therefrom, leaving only pure butter
globules, which coalesce somewhat to-
gether and escape from the drum BY a
spout provided for them.-Gonrier-Jour-
nnL
wHAr FrEDTNa CHICKENS COSTS.
The Rural Nsw YorEer gives the re-
suit of an experiment by q Of its read
era. Here is the daily food for 225 hens
and eight chickens one-third grown:
The Opelousas courier., 1890-10-04
THE work or EARTH WORMS.

Darwin estimated that worms, by
swallowing earth for the sake of vegeta-
bic matter it contains and forming cast
ings, bring to the earth as much as ten
tons of earth per annum on an acre.
Worms are great promoters of vegeta-
ton by boring, p~erforating and loosening
the soil and rendering it pervious to
rains and the fibre. of plants By drawing
straws and stalks Of leaves and twigs
into it, and most of all, by throwing up
such infinite numbers of Jumps of earth
called worm casts, which form a fine ma
nure for grain and grass. The earth,
without worms, would soon become cold,
hardbound, void of fermentation, and
consequently sterile. This has occurred
in many places where the worms have
been either accidentally or Intentionally
destroyed, and the fertility Of the soil
thus lost has only been restored when
the worms had been collected again and
resumed their fertilizing work.-New
Fork Herald.
The Opelousas courier., 1890-10-04

1t was Ben Johnson, we be.
lieve, who, when asked Nal
locks question, Is life worth
living replied That de-
ponds on the hver." And Ben
Johnson doubtless saw the
double point to the pun.
The liver active
life rosy, everything bright,
mountains of trouble melt like
mountains of snow.
The liver sluggish-life dull,
everything blue, molehills of
worry rise into mountains of
anxiety, and as a result-slck
headache, dizziness, constipa-
ton.
Two ways are open. Cure
permanently, or relieve tenn
porarily. Take a pill and suf-
fer, or take a pill and get we'll.
Shock the system by an over
dose, or coax it by a mild,
pleasant way.
DR. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets
are the mild means. They
work effectively, without pain,
and leave the system strong.
One, little, sugar coated pei
let is enough, although a
whole vial costs but IS cents.