Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1890-08-28
HOW HE DRESSES THE RAW
INC concerted Father Thinks He
1t All, but Doesn't.

IL All, but Doesn't.
All family men fancy Gov.
Iho'ne in the n. Y. Weetiy that n t5a'
can dress the baby much more do ,a!
and expeditiously than the mother IVY
perform the same operation. That al
II they only set themselves abont il
'Of course there is no doubt ofth,.r
says the man to himself. "A mon
do anything better than a woman ~
not make half the fuss and talk IN "uu
1t. Women wear themselves ali -,
taking things over. Why, womar
will talk more about MAKING f,,t;n"'l
holder than man would abont bnTJ
ing a Westinghouse When a man :.
going to do anything h goes to ,.orl
and does it. He doesn have 70 RIM, ~
over the nelghborhood to ask eyerynns
he knows about it and then do oS i,
has "A mind to, as woman will do
And so having heard him boast of hi.
capabilities for years some fine morn
ing, when his wife's head aches and IN,
feminine deity of the kitchen has girnr
notice, the mother of the family inv;ta'
him to dress the baby.
The baby is big enough TO wall
around and have finger in every ,ja
but It will be 1.-The baby" till a late,
edition appears.
The man who knows it all is smilo,
triumphantly to himself He is do,
lighted with the opportunity of show.
ing his wife how much quicker he can
do it than she can. And he'll see i
that baby is going to run all over
creation after cats and things. and crv
half the time he is doing it, DiscipIins
is what is needed with children.
He calls the baby to him:
"Stand there, Freddie, while mana
finds your clothes, like good bow
Freddy places himself in position.
while his pa goes in quest of the raj.
ment belonging to the juvenile. Freddy
spies bird on the top of tree in the
yard, and he climbs on the piano TO oct
high up at the window and he knock,
down a couple of bundles of sheet
music, his sister Fanny's new hat thai
she left there last night when she came
home from the party. so tired that she
could hardly get upstairs to bed; and
then poor Freddy slips, and crabs
the window-shade to save him.
self. and brings it down, fixtures and
all, and draws a doubIe-tracked rail.
road on the polished rosewood of the
piano with his wildly clutching finger
nails, and lands safely on the floor.
bowling with rage at not having been
able to get the bird.
By that time his pa has found most
of his clothes, and is ready to begin.
But Freddy isn't ready. He wants to
see the pictures in the album. Then
he insists on hearing the watch tick.
Then he wants to catch the dog by the
tail and give it "a good pull, to see if it
is on fast. Then he wants to kiss
mamma.
Stand still!' says his pa putting on
the severe look that he uses on his in.
subordinate clerks in the dingy down
town office, "and see if YOU can keen
your tongue still while | dress YOU!
Don't wiggle so, Freddy. Stand still!
Pat down your foot! Let thar cat
alone! Here, you little mischief, stop
chewing that lead-pencii Hold up
your head, can't youp Put this hand
through-no, that one! Good gracious,
it is strange that women will make
pants for babies wrong end to! And
more buttons on EN- than would be
needed to button up IA regiment of menl
Now then, for the waist! Humph! that
is made the same way, all the buttons
in the wrong place. No arm holes, no
nothing! Freddy. hold still! tell You
it doesn't hurt you! Yes, It's on right.
1t can't be on the other way. BY Jove,
I've forgot the drawers, and stockingsi
Here, put up that foot. Good gracious,
Freddy, can't you stop wiggling your
toes? Hold your leg stiff. There, now.
Now well put on the little mans
collar. What an outlaudish contriv-
ance TO fasten collar. 1t doesn't
stay put anywhere, Let's see, the bow
goes under it? No, it must 90 over it.
Keep your head still. What are you
bobbing SO for? Lift up your arms,
Freddy! Why, what the deuce is the
after with this child's armsP Hs
can't move 'em. Don't cry, Freddy
Let me look. Do stop that bawllng.
This all comes of YOU mothers humor.
ING you so. | say, Fred stop this nolsell
Stop it | say! shall be crazy-l--,
And about at this juncture his wiie
appears on the scene. and she nno'
that Freddy's pants are hind part be,
fore, and one of his arms has been pu'
through the neck space, and the otnef
one through one armhole OF his waist
and his collar which was made to turn
down stands up, and his stockings are
on wrong side out; and his pa vii
never own that there is anything out o
order about the proceeding, but 'ilt
next time he dresses the baby N
doesn't dress the ALWAYS has some
thing to see to that prevents him.