davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-05-02
AN ORIGINAL BELLE.

Mr.. Lightfoot-'AIiss summerfeld,
you must pardon me, but really I cannot
longer forbear to tell you how much I
love you-oh, Julia, say that you will &c
cept mel"
Miss "Oh--a--8Ir Light
footl This-is-a-so suddenl YOU
a-must give me time"
Mr.. Lightfoot-"But do you not know
your own heart? Do not trife with me-
Speak, Suspense would be cruel"
Miss Summerfield-'rI f-a-you-must
The truth is a-You a-Well,
really, Mr.. Lightfoot, I-a-must say
that-I don't know how to decline
you"
Mr.. Lightfoot about to embrace herr
-"AIy darling, knew that you loved
me-"
Miss Summerfield-'Oh no, you mis-
understand. Imean to say that this tell
ing a man one will be his sister is such
an awful chestnut that I must have tire
to think up something else. Life.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-05-02
Knem Him hr tlle Serntoh.

'Do you see that little group of men,
said drummer in Washington hotel
corridor recently, as he pointed to a knot
of ofiice-seekers in one corner. "They
seem to be enjoying themselves, don't
they2 That one with the goatee has been
telling a funny story"
GLOW doyou know that that particu-
lar one told itl' was asked.
''Because he Is laughing the most"
replied the drummer sententiously. II
am student of human nature and an
observer of the habits and partiularly the
foibles of men. That's an Indispensable
element Of success in my line"
''Now do you see that other man with
clean-shaven, thin faceir ne continued.
"That mans from Florida, and not only
that, but he's from a rural district Of
Florida and is accustomed to working or
overseeing work in the fields and
brush
"Oh, come now, said the drummer's
companion; ''that'sa little too steep. You
can't tell me all that Just by looking at
him. What makes you think so."
Watch him the next time he laughs"
said the drummer, land you viii see him
stoop forward, lay both hands on his
trouser legs below the knee, and give his
shins a good scratching Or rubbing.
Most Of the Floridians do that from hab-
it. It gives them pleasure because all of
them who work out of doors in grove or
field are pestered with u tiny insect called
the red-bug, all but invisible to the eye,
which swarms on fallen brushwood, de-
cayed weeds or grass and makes itself
most unpleasantly and lastingly apparent
on the legs of all who come near them.
Sandheas and mosquitoes add their at
lemons and on the whole a Floridian
Cracker gets about as much amusement
out of a good scratching as from yarn
or even drink Watch him now.
They are going to laugh again.
Sure enough the clean-shaven man be-
gan to smile, then chuckled, then roared
and in his ecstacy reached over and gave
both his shins a brisk rubbing with
handful of his trousers.
"Come with me, said the drummer,
as he sauntered past the Jolly group, who
had now stopped talking and began to
break up.
Scan you tell me, sir, he said to the
chow the Florida orange crop
IS this year along the lower Gulf Coastt'
Fair to middlin', believe, sir, was
the reply, shut nothing like ours down
on the Indian River, sir. That's Gods
own country for oranges, You bet. "-NeD
York Tribune.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-05-02

The doctors who attended the late
King of Portugal during the last few
weeks of his illness presented bills for
their services amounting to nearly 500, :
600. One of them demanded s14, 600
for ten visits, another demanded S17, 900
for fifteen, while third thought that
$50, Oa0 was not too much to ask for his
attendance at eighteen consultations.
Eventually the new King succeeded in
effecting a settlement by means OF a lump
sum of $50, 900. Of course, says the
Medical Record, this was polite robbery.
In too many cases such estates are robbed.
It seems to make no difference whether
the patient is killed or robbed, the bill
for services is too often made out accord
ing to the size of the sick mans estate.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-05-02
PITH AND POINT.
A winter novelty-Snow.

A winter novelty-snow.
A grain elevator-The crow.
One of the Oldest trusts-The tailor's.
Boston Gazette.
News of the season-Neuralgia and
pneumonia.-B0stoa Bulletin.
The real estate man wants the earth,
and usually has some ground for such
desire. Enterprise.
When a literary magazine goes up it IS
4 perfectly Legitimate supposition to
assume that it blew up.-Burlingt0H Free
Press.
Oh, the plumber, he plumbs seven hours in
And gets ali the plums in the pudding for
Merchant Traveller.
Far Bostonian Gnstrucing her cousin)
always sip soup from the side OF the
spoon" Kansas Cousin desperately
Eyes; but can't get it in sideways. -
PgcE.
''Points to Farmers" is n standing head
in many papers. But the one point that
the average farmer depends on more than
any other is the ''plow point. Dams
5il6 Breeze.
Indignant Guest-"Waiter, this steak
is not fresh Water-'Beg pardon,
sir, it's fresh off the ice" Indignant
Guest-"Then tho ice is stale. Get
fresher ice"
Judge-"Have you ever been pun
ished before" Prisoner-''Well, at all
events, not in the last ten years" "Are
YOU sure Of thatln .Certaiu, sure. I've
Just served out ten years sentence. -
Tezas Siftings.
suitor-''Perhnps, sir, you don't think
I'm good enough to marry your daugh-
ter" Perhaps do" ''Wen,
sir, I'd have you know that I've been re-
fused by some of the finest young ladies
in the land. n-Time.
Miss TiIly-'8Ir. Dc Todd, I really
never know what to do with my hands"
Mr.. De Todd after a pause)-"You
might give one of them to me- Miss
Tilly-''It is rather sudden, Mr.. De
Todd, but here It Thine.
A good little boy in Georgia who was
kicked by mule did not say naughty
words or 90 home crying to his mother
He Just tied the mule within five feet of
a beehive, backed him round to it and
let him kick.-Yei0 York Nsl1s.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-05-02

According to the Boston Herald, ''the
common school teacher finds perfectly
healthy children are a rarity. Seldom
viii ten per cent. of her class of fifty be
found free from any physical defect
whatever and with true development for
their age. OF these it must be regret
fully admitted that the smallest number
are Americans. The best formed school
children and the healthiest are the Ger
mans and the Bohemians, the next of
Irish parentage. Nowhere, as in the
south and west of Ireland, where the
children run free of care the year round,
hatless, shoeless, living on the coarsest,
plainest food, and yet with some measure
of school restrictions, can such specimens
of perfect physical beauty in form and
face be found. Glance over any school
room, with its many upturned faces in
quisitively questioning the thought of
the observer, and but few really fine
featured children are to be found after
the age Of ten Is passed"
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-05-02

sit is an Ill wind that blows no one
good" This the New York Time,
thinks, may be applicable to the acquisi-
ton of so many American cheese facto-
ries by English capitalists. "The
English people are large consumers Of
cheese and good judges of it. It's com
mon knowledge in England that our
cheese is of a very poor quality, and that
with the right management it may be
made of as good quality as the best in
the world. 1t may be that this knowl-
edge has led to the purchase of 50 many
of our cheese factories by Englishmen.
This may be turned to our advantage.
The purchases viii let loose large CAPT
tai which will doubtless seek investment
in the same business elsewhere, under
better management, and with the result
of great improvement in the quality
aud q large increase of the product. It
IS hamiIiaing to an American to admit
this and to- owe the restoration of our
cheese manufacture to foreigners whose
better business habits and greater hon
esty will reform this branch of the dairy
industry. But it is probable that good
may come out of what every patriotic
citizen might regret with the best of
fessousi"
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-05-02


eliminating in choosing his victims.
Lionel Brough tells of one of the actors's
pranks as follows:
"Sothern once asked a number Of
friends, including myself, to dinner. One
of the guests was very late, and as he
rang at the front door SOthern said:
Now we'll have some fun. All of you
get under the table, We did, and in
came our supposed victim. Oh he
said, I'm glad to see I'm the first.
feared I was late Well, as a matter of
fact, you're the last, said Sotbern;
they're all here, but for some extraordin-
airy reason the moment you rang they all
got under the table As you may mag
inc, We crawled out in very limp fash
ion, and it was a long time before some
Of US forgaye our host"
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-05-02

General Gourko, the Governos-General
of Russian Poland, who recently returned
to his post after long leave of absence,
spent in Paris, has signalized his re-
sumption of Office by the issue of de-
cree prohibiting the use of telephones at
Warsaw, except for Government commu-
nications. Warsaw is a city with a pop
ulation of some 500, 600 inhabitants and
provided with a most elaborate tele-
phOnic system. It is almost impossible,
therefore, to realize the dismay which
this arbitrary and despotic order of Gen
eral Gourko has created both in social
and in business circles of the Polish cap
ital. The grounds which he gave for
this extraordinary measure were that the
telephones were being used for revolu-
tionagy purposes.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-05-02

= IrlEIsESsble series of Alpine diaas
tefs "a Loo were evidently taken to
heart by mountain climbers, for, accord
ing to the New York Sun, the past sea-
son has been almost without tragedies
above the snow line. Thousands who
last summer scrambled up and down a
hundred slopes in Switzerland all re-
turned home unscathed, though few of
them had some ugly tumbles which win
teach them 20 observe greater caution
when they next appear on the alpine
Enow fields. The season would have
been entirely devoid of exciting Incl
dents if two or three fatal accidents had
not occurred in the Bavarian and Aus
TRAN Alps. There were also some hair
breadth escapes, as, for instance, that of
the North German tourist, who, with his
guide, tumbled head over heels down &
mountain side distance of 5415 feet,
and still lives to tell the tale. A story
ike that viii entertain his grandchildren
fully as much as though he had con-
quered the Matterhorn.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-05-02
MY MARGERY.

Tho hill and vale with music ring,
And mating birds be on the wing,
To-day have no heart to sing;
My Margery no longer hears
She smiles not now, nor heeds my tears,
She wakes not with the waking spring,
She comes not with returning years.
As sink the snow-hahes in the sea,
Loved Margery, lost Margery,
Ny thoughts concenter all in thee;
To-day the softest, subtlest note,
That trembles from the throstle's throat
Stirs not the slightest pulse in me;
My dreams are Of a day remote.
The lute lies silent on my knee,
1 touch no more the trembling key
That thrilled the heart of Margery;
Those eyes, where truth and passion met,
Loves planets, in the grave have set
And left this heritaget 10 me,
A memory fond regret.
j. ". Matthews.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-05-02

toward her in the darkness, she nearly
lost her self-possesSion, but her pride
came to her aid; she would not scream
and make herself an object of ridicule
before those country youths; she felt her
self so much superior TO them, that it
would have been the last thing she could
have endured. The light from a window
suddenly flashed upon the advancing fig
ure. It was the brown bearded stranger,
who at that moment clasped her in his
arms, kissed her lips rapturously, released
her gently and disappeared like dream
in the darknessl
1t was some moments ere she had re-
covered sufficiently TO re-enter the house
with a calm, undisturbed face, except for
a rich, deep flush, not at all an ordinary
color with her.
Here she had need of all the seIf-pos-
session years in society had given her, for
in her absence two guests had arrived.
Mabel was already chatting freely with
Roland Holland and Jack Staplesl
Why prolong the story2 The end was
the usual one; the new acquaintance
soon ripened into an old; the acquaint-
ances became friends, and in time lovers.
Then came the quiet wedding at grand
pas; the short bridal tour, and the pro-
sale settling down as housekeepers in
two small flats in New York, where in
domestic contentment they dwelt, in as
great degree Of continuous harmony
as falls TO the average families.
Grandma made this domestic peace
possible, by persistently insisting that
both girls should take daily practical les
sons in her kitchen; that the period of
courtship should commence in learning
the art of household economics. The
girls sometimes rebelled, fancying that
things would manage to go one somehow,
without all that trouble.
But grandma had her way, knowing
that young man with a moderate in
come has double need of competent
''Pa" never made a second fortune, |
but drifted from Alabel's to AIary's, and /
haunted Wall street with other ghosts of |
"better days. "-Godey's Lady's Book.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-05-02
THAT wooDEx-HEADED YOUNG MAN.

81 take it for granted, Miss Laura, "
said young DR.. Smidgley, "that you con-
denim, as all sensible young women do,
the unwholesome and barbarous practice
of tight lacingl"
'On the contrary, Mr.. Smidgley," re-
turned Miss Laura, with wistful, yearn-
ing look in her glorious dark eye, 81
think a compression of the waist to a
reasonable extent not only harmless but
OF times positively exhilarating."
And that dense, stupid, wooden
headed youth sat there for an hour and
argued with the young lady on the evils
Of tight lacing. Chicago Tribune.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-05-02

"You must see a good deal of human
nature on the carr" he queried OF the
conductor.
''No, sir"
"You don'tl Why, it seems to be just
the place for it.
''But it isn't"
"Why, you surprise me; you must see
many phases of it."
"But I don't, sir. I'm working for
fourteen shillings per day and looking
out for wcmen with baby cabs, and if
there is any human nature around it has
to take care of itself. "-Detr0it Free
Press.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-05-02
Dyes.

"Dyeing, " says an expert in the Wash
ington Star, ''simply means boiling
things in copper kettles for the proper
time in solution Of dye and water. For
what we call fancy colors' we use the
aniline tints that are derived from coal
tar. Every coal bed Is a mine Of rainbow
hues, you know. The aniline dyes en-
ployed are chiefly for light blue, maroon,
cardinal red and such brilliant effects.
Woods ground to coarse powder are
largely relied upon by the dyer. For in
stance, there is santal wood for ecru, from
the Santalwood Islands; logwood forred,
from Sicily; gall nuts for silver drabs,
from Aleppo; fustic for yellow, from
Cuba, and madden root for ecru, from
the south Of France. It has been found
that madden, alternately led to and with
held from growing animals, viii color
their bones so that in section they viii
appear white and yellow in alternate
rings from center to circumference You
must remember that all these arc used
in an infnity of combinations. II is
rare that one of them is applied pure and
simple. One dye for crimson Is obtained
from the lac insect, scraped from the
bark of certain trees in the East Indies"
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-05-02

Advices received from Australia say
that the funeral of Henry searle, the de-
ceased champion oarsman, took place at
Sydney. The ceremony was witnessed
by fully 10000 people. The Mayor
a99--9ermen and deputatiou of mem
bers of Parliament formed part of the
procession, which was the longest of its
kind ever seen in that city. There is a
movement on foot to erect a monument
to his memory.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-05-02
LATE At TIE DISCRIMINATORY.

Visitor-"Please tell ne where am
to go. I was invited to see the transit of
Venus"
Attendant-'I am extremely sorry,
madam, but you are too late. The tran
sit was over fifteen minutes ago"
"Oh, that's no matter. The Superin
tendent is friend of mine, and I am
sure he will have it done again for me. "
-Flieqende BLaetter.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-05-02

Smart Boy (reading history to please
his father-''F Father, there is one King
whom the children never liked very well,
isn't there2"
Father-"'Well, really, my boy, I
hadn't thought of it. But it affords me
much pleasure to see you storing your
mind with knowledge that can be useful
to you in the great future that is before
you. But what King is it to whom you
refer2"
"Span-king, " was the dubious reply.
And then the smart boy had an oppor-
t11ity of deciding whether he liked that
king or not.-DGnsUiHe Breeze.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-05-02

"Once a man gets on the police force
he is good for nothing else throughout
his lifetime, y remarked a disguised peeler
to-day. "He becomes narrowed down
to such an extent that he is utterly
warped and views matters only from the
standpoint of the man who is always
looking for motives and for crime in
everything his fellowmen do. Once he
is retired from the force MS only resource
is to secure employment as a private
Waterman in some railroad yards, ware
rooms, or like establishments, or to go
from house to house taking subscriptions
to remunerate him for watching private
residences in the West End. Certainly
man should consider well before he
enters the police service. "-SsQr-Sayings.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-05-02
A CONSOLIDATE DEBTOR.

Collector-"'Whon are you going to
pay this billl I can't be coming hear
every day in the week"
Debtor-"Well, what day could you
call on, conveniently"
~ could call on Saturday."
GAN right; from now on 1 shall ex-
poet you every Saturday. "-Te1as SIT
iHgs.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-05-02

Tramp-"It's the taxes, mum, that
keep US so ragged an thin"
Kind Lady Spreading him a lunch)-
GLOW sol Do taxes fall heavily on
youl"
"Not directly, mum, but they fall so
heavily on the friends we visit that we
get but few luxuries, and very poor
clothin' n-Time.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-05-02

A venerable and dignifed bishop re-
Gently was having his portrait painted
by an eminent artist. After sitting
steadily for about an hour in silence, his
lordship thought he would like to break
the monotony with a remark. Accord
ingly he said to the artist: GLOW are
you getting onl'
To the astonishment of his sitter, the
knight of the palette, absorbed in his
work, thus replied: "Move your head
a little that way, and shut your mouth ="
Not being accustomed to be spoken to
in this fashion, the bishop said; "May 1
ask you why you address me in this man
ner?"
Artist (stin absorbed) 81 want to take
off little of your cheek"
Collapse of the bishop.-Yankee BLADE.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-05-02
HER oFFER REIECTFD.

Farewell, dearest" she sighed, as
she lay against the lapel of his double
breasted coal, .'and, George, you may
kiss TIC once, on my forehead, ere you
CO."
Thanks, Angelina" thoughtfully
murrnured the young man, shut the last
tips ] kissed q girl on the forehead got
9 bang in the mouth"
a moment later he left the house look
ing as if he had been eating marshmal-
lows.-Hargara Lamp0on.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-05-02

jackson (whOse financial credit is gone
-'I tell you, Witherbee, we are on the
verge of a financial panic"
MISUNDERSTANDING What makes
you think thatl"
(Confdentially)-"Well, sir, Bagley
and Roberts used to lend me small sums
year ago, but when go to them nova
days for five or a ten, they tell me
frankly that they haven't got it. Bagley
and Roberts are two of our best business
men, too. tell you, sir, we're going to
have panic. Time.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-05-02
she roREsAw rEMrrAr1oN.

'By Georgeln said a man last week,
to his wife, "this is delicious weather. "
"Yes, it is"
"Almost like summer. If it keeps like
this I think I will 90 fishing"
"Then will pray with all my might
for a cold wave. It isn't month since
you joined the church. "-Aerchaqt Tra5-
eJer.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-05-02
IT Always HAPPENS so.

Toni guess you know what side
your bread is butterod on, don't you7"
Dick-''I guess I do. It's buttered
on the side that strikes the floor every
time happen to drop piece of bread. y
Yankee BLADE.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-05-02

First Boy-"No, my mother never
whips me. It don't do her any good"
Second Boy-"How's thatl"
"Why, she's deaf, you know, and she
can't hear me yell. "-Nelo York Sun.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-05-02

ssl's method of procedure in time
Of gar, Tie New York Sun describes as
terse, but very much to the point. When
the revolt broke out among the troops at
Rio JaneirO and the news was telephoned
to the Minister of War, with a request
for instructions, he replied oshoOt
them down." And down they came.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-05-02

A Geographic message costing S2.37 a
word was recently sent from Portland to
Hong Kong, and an answer received IN
twelve hours. 1t was first sent to New
York, thence to London, across the
continent TO 7v>l-~L----
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-05-02
BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SKETCHES FROM
VARIOUS SOURCES.
The Patriot-No Pleasure in 1t
1t Always Happens So-Indirect
Taxation-A Considerate
Debtor Etc, Etc.

"Down with a tyrant foe, " said he,
That seeks this happy land;
All the energy that possess
My country may command.
mo arduous labor would I shirk,
No task would disdain,
To check invasions hateful way
Andliberty maintain
And when he finished his address
And moved each hearers soul,
His wife had built the kitchen fire
And carried in the coal.
Merchant TrdUeler.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-05-02

Sothern, the actor, was noted for his
practical jokes, and he was not all dis
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-05-02

lined his ermine suit
q mute his eyes salute
ire of the moon and stars
End his tent of snow.
hZch or voice unfold
nd his cold?
iApFirs heart could rule
yDecember old;
= less of sound or sight
ght of winters night
II the carillons of Yule
its lamps of gold.
STsne sleigh-bells ringing,
.And' mirth on careless wing
Sc by, as DER the slippery land
The steel-bound runners sing,
Where capped and wrapped in furry state
Sits Ralph with Kate, his rosy mate,
And steers his courser single-hand
As proud as any King.
There's heyday on the hill,
And the stream above the mill
Is gay with childhood's swarming feet
And childhood's laughter shrill
With joy that wakes the countryside,
The skaters glide, the coasters ride,
For youth and gladness merriest meet
When natures song is still.
The long, long evenings hy, ~
And playmates homeward HE,
But pleasure tunes the last halloo,
And lights each lingering eye.
Then night dissolves III frosty sheen
The frolic scene, and, crowned serene,
The young moon in her while canoe
Sails down the tranquil sky.
Within homes happy door
The sunshine gone before
By social fires is glowing yet,
Tho icy winds may roar;
For love provides when days are dark
Her summer spark, her singing lark,
And life would half its Joy forget
II winter came no more.
Theron Brol5n, Ia Youths Companion.