The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-11-03
BRIGHT BITS.

a NEGLECTED opportunity never gets over 1t.
-Wdsht1tgton Star.
THE whirlwind is now ripe for the sickle
Detroit free Press.
AUTUMN leaves are waning Now is the time
to wax them LotoeH Courier.
THE reason why a COW wears horns is because
she's got two Gn0hGHnton Leader.
TIE gas meter must make both ends metz
our gas bills run up so rapidly.-Judoe.
IT is no sign because man is an old SALT
that he wasn't fresh when he was a boy-Life
A MAN asks woman's love before he marries
her; after marriage he demands her gratitude
-AtchlSon Globe.
PRIMUs-Does Thorley belong to club:
Secun ius-Cubs Why that fellow would be
black0alled by the Y. NJ. G. A.-Life.
The Office of a dentist is also a studio. While
he is drawing those about him are making
music and dancing. -Netc Orleans PicdyLne
A MAN in Bonsail found silver watch in his
hen house. As he failed to find his chicken
there 1t was very evident That his hen house
needed awatch--Norrtstolot Herald.
ACCEPTED SuIToR-My own ownest, you are
absolutely the best
Prospective HoUsekeeper (archly) y You've
been reading the - baking powder ADVERTISE
nent.-BroOeiyI Life.
MRS De STYLE-Dear me- What lot of So
cety news you've got hold of-even to a full de-
scrption of Miss Tiptop's Paris trousseau
Where did you hear it all!
Miss De otyle-At the symphony concert
-Aec York - eskiy.
A MISLEADING ARRANGEMENT of matter in the
sun yesterday presented to the incautious the
following statement suddenly ne felt the,
coat give way, and as the train dashed around
curve he was thrown across the river He
thought the distance too great"
A WOMAN at Lafayette Ind, wanted to rid A. n
alcohol barrel of the odor. She dropped live
coal into the uung, and she won't be In walkina,
order before Jan. !. Nine tenths of the barrel
mt her at once ana the remainder smashed in
the windows. Detroit Free Press.
He SAT and looked at the busy editor for
about fifteen minutes steadily Finally he
yawned sleepiY and remar1ed:' There are
some things in this world that go without saw
ing. Il know it, snapped the editor, but
there are too darned many things that say a
good deal without going. st Paul Pioneer
Pr SIS.
The lawyers and the courts and the railroads
have this art down to such fine point that in a
recent case in Indiana it was decided that a pas.
Seuger who was looking under seat for some
money re had dropped, and who was on his knees
when collision came and suffered broken
arm, was guilty of contributory negligence.
AOrrtStoWtI Herdt{.
MAMMA-If you are so naughty. Dorothy. no
one Will love you.
Dorothy es, mamma; | know some one
who wll love me, and the bladder l am the
more he loves me.
Mamma-Why, Dorothy, whom do you
mean?
Dorothy-The devil.-Lfe.
WIFE docking up from a book)-This writer
says that nal the miSeries of married life come
from the fact that wives do no. have a certain
regular sum per week TO spend as they pease
HuSoand-True; and the other ha of the
misery comes from the fact that husbands dc
not nave certain, regular sum per week to
spend as tAey please.-AeW York Weekly
Mas. O'RoURKE-I wish yez wud give me an
ordner for some medicine. your rlverence, fer
little Jimmy, nere. He's been ailing for two
wakes.
Father Reilly think little soap and water
would do HIM as much good as anything.
Mrs ORourke-Wo uli yez give it to me be.
lore or atLher his males, your riverencef-P, Puck
LIKE the farm RS daughter who counted the
chlckens before they were hate ed, the thou yht
OF waiter lnal1ens do not always rest upon the
yland' which they serve. A. q restaurant much
trequente by the German eie nent O re of the
aosent-mIud far sex APP. reached handsome
youth who mad seated himself at thu table and.
balancing traYfu of dishes iaq Tired; Are
you married?' instead of the usual query:
Have you ordered?" IN in " renlied the
young man, with a roar of laughter Tne re-
minder 50 startled the girl that she dropped the
china, snivering 1t into fragmentS.-P hitadeL.
mia IlOl,irer