Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1890-08-23
NO. 13.
oeAcoN sURDGTTE-
His witty Talks out o. Msstin' Upea
Timely Topics.

ME- WHY Talks Out a. M@@kfM GR1H
Timely Topics.
@Papa,- said Ethel, Il do not think you ara
Just TO Mr. Sophomore; I was walking with
him last. night His head is full OF ideas4
-Yes. yes,n said the professor, and went on
reading the proof OF his lecture ON sMicro-
scopic Thought ave cannot realize the in+
finite litileness OF the cholera bacteria, wheA
We know that 30, ,0o0. .0O0, 900 OF them occupyk
space no larger than pins head Yes, yes;
as YOU say, he has great many IDEAS; bnt
they areh--goes on reading proof.
EE'ER FAsHED THE VOLUNTEER AT A..
@I am weary OF this humdrum life,r sait
Calliopus ~Why, what are you doingF"
@runing hurly gurIiesv -Shake; ! arh
writing speeches on tariff reduction"
BUT FARK YE WELL, AULD THISTLE BEHi
Young Mr.. Sawbones, first year in medical
college; secs an editorial headed srhe Dam
ger of ApathyT-"The incomprehensible H.
norance OF these editorsi" he exclaims grand
ly; -they write about things Of which thay
know absolutely nothing. Now, you take
apathy In time and there isn't dangerous
feature In it; the veriest quack can handle
it, Puts on his hat and goes out 10 look af
ter a ease OF ineipient inertia
YE AIBLISs MIGHr-I DIssA KEN.
LAWYER Bulsozcr--Do you know anything
about Ueorgc Thorpei Stupid witness--Yts,
sir. Lawyer B.--Ah, you dot Do You know
any gooi about hint Witneas-No, ar.
"Oh. you don'ti Well, then, do you know
anything bad about him@ witness-No,
sir "then, for mcrcyis sake, what do you
know about himFs II know he died twsIlty
years before ever heard of him.
STILL Haze A STAKE.
A Boston broker lost a wallet containing
tl5 900 on the street aud u newsboy found it
and brought It TO the owner. The man
struggled with terrible temptation 10 be
mean aud sorlid for n moment, and then,
forgetting self and casting 70 the winds his
greed Of gain as he tranped the temptation
under his feet, gave the honest boy perihis-
sion 10 90 on this Common and play ey FRY
day ave can trust you," sobbed the CRATE
ful man; 1--WE know that you viii keep OF the
grass Oh, how often this opportunity to
make Others happy 10y kind word, gentle
smile or some little act OF kindness knockt at
our doors and we heed it not, until 1t Is too
late. Oh, thnt more people were like tho
Boston man. tP. S.-rhey are.l
WHEN HAME YE MAKKl"
Where, oh. where has the young man gone
who graduation clothes put on, some time
.slong the last OF May, and owned the whole
wide world for dayi And where is che
swee. girl graduate, who chanted an q say
dread with fate and started out with gig
Cling frown 10 turn this oil world up side
downi And where is last years candidate,
who had things fixed for this years slhtei
Who carried around, as you'd believe, a
couple of counties in his sleevei And W here
4 the scribe with vRuting will who tried
long felt want TO I'LL, and courted shekels and
] renown with a minion paper in n BOURGEOIS
.owni The lad has divided the world up'tair,
and holds but his own eight billionth share;
the sweet girl grad. Is grand surprise, and
conquers the world with well made pies the
, candidate with the deathess "gall- is fixing
himself for another fall; while the JOURNALIST
/ with the naughty crest has gone the way OF
! last years nest 50 year by year aud day by
,lay the world runs ON in the same old way;
the balloon that Is biggest round about d the
dabbiest rag when the gas Is out.
II MAKs AN UHco' LKEwAY.
, There is one thing fgnatius ODonhelly
might have done very easily, II be had
thought OF it-he might do il yet--prove that
: Harriet Beecher Stowe didn't write the suncls
Toms Cabin that is presented on the atags
$ ten times a week all through and between the
. season. lie could find plenty OF ciphets, In
+ the cast; the two Topseys, the two Mar kses
4 the two donkeys. and the latest company an
4 nounces two Uncle Toms-these, with Tia,
four meat hounds, would give an ingenious
/ man ciphers enough to prove anything.
a AN SWAT WI pREAD-
i, as there any benefit in monopoliesr kskeC
o the teacher. "There Is, answered the mar
bad boy @And what Is itia aOwning IN in
terest in one" He was kept in two houl H.
a REAL AND IMITATION RABIES.
n A Boston woman comes out in print tb de
y nounce athat lingnal dish wash, popularl,
q known as baby talk Oh, well, that's to b,
|, expected in Beanyille where Joaeph Cook /
!, regarded as model child's nurse an,
! primary Kindergarten teacher. We be lieve
firmly believe, that a baby whoi = hich
: thatf Is born with eye glasses and theorl
should be called a babe at birth ard al
u dressed as sir or madam.
J. Out upon your machine made habel
}, knew one long ago. His name was Henderson
y Ingraham Stiilweathcr, ami his parents eaile'
Q him that when he was in his cradle. He wa
n but years old when first | met him. dow
J. by the Illinois river. lie said 10 me. -Excu
q me, sir, but could you kindly enlighten me a
n 20 the character Of this strange looking Graf
toward which our steps are tending and ais
can YOU tell me to whom does It belonk r.
cintehed the illtie monster py the hsek an
r held him under the dredge boat for an hnul
y expected a scene with his mother. bur sli
= only said that Henderson was very ia
, advanced: his Uncle Dennison did not 1row
:. until be was Az They didn't bury HAnder
son They pressed him between the pa ses Q
> a Colto : Atlas, and he fiattened oIt an
L dried just like a fern. That's what bscoms
Q OF that sort Of children. ! am d lad
y drowned him. / am looking around fot NOR
d like him People who wean their infah pts o
q dictionaries will do well 10 keep them nnde
d glass until lose my tomahawk- WAghl-
II Brooklyn Eagle.
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