Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1890-09-13

manage and bad to bit and bride when the
humor for restraint took her? 1t was mis-
take TO try She ought to have been given her
head; and what came after was due to myself.
aud myself only. / should have understood
her better should have been less exacting-
less sensitive for my own part-more consid-
crate of her veaknesses-call them even faults
If you will. But it is so easy TO be wise after
the event, When passion is strong and the
heart blinds the eyes We all things as
through a veil, and we know the truth of what
We have seen and the evil Of what we have
done only when too late.
We were engaged 1t had been a hard fight
to win her from the triple rank of guardians
surrounding Father, mother and brothers
had all alike protested: the grandmother alone
had taken my part. Zoe herself. while this
opposition actively went on. had stood by me
loyalty and had refused to give me up. She
had agreed to wait. and as she was but eight
cen had not much to say against the three
years probation insisted on by the family.
Perhapsit was only fair. they all said. to give
her the chance of changing her mind. She has
seen nothing yet of life. and did not know what
she wanted out of il. Let her then have her
thrce years of quasi-freedOm. when was not
forbidden, but she was not bound. II | could
retain my position in her heart and make good
my holding well for me. II could not had
no cause. no claim. no charge against her. So
things stood and i. must be acknowledged that
10 was an uncomfortable position for me. STILL
was thankful TO be allowed even so much. and
thought could trust both my own influence
and her constancy.
The most devoted lover is put in false posi-
ton when he comes into q family of which all
the members united in aduating. yielding
to. and generally spelling the girl he loves. In
the midst of these servile worshipers his rights
are made to look like tyrannies, and the more
he loves the more he offends. The jealousy
which is insepaIable from loye--the doubt
which must arise at times when the door is left
open and be who will may come through and
steal away the treasure-the sick suspicion that
fortunes itself more than any one else-the rest
less craving for some assurance-all this puts
the lover at disadvantage, and makes his very
love nuisance. Young people want ease and
pleasure; and Zoe above ali shrank from the
gravity of passion-the intensity of emotion.
She was like some irIdescent bubble flung off
by the great soul of life-the very impersona-
ton of iocund mirt1 and Careless merriment.
She was like some unnamed elf brought from
the underground world OF fairies to serve
brief apprenticeship to man and sorrow
beneath the sun. Like n cloud you could not
hold her-likc a rainbow you could not seize
her. Beautiful. tormenting. inconsequent,
wlllfnl she was the human representative of
some Gem-like humming bird fitting ont OF
reach, but so sedRctyely near as to seem close
to your hand. Only when you thought 10 have
above your head-gone, gone. / sometimes
doubted If she had a heart at all / sometimes
doubted If she had a soul like other human
beings. But hcr very wilfulness was her
charm; and the more she eluded me the more
she compelled ME to seek and follow after her
And yet she was true. i knew that afterward
My three years probation had in it suffering
enough to send many man mad. i think /
was sometimes almost mad. Ever fuctuating
between hope and doubt jealousy and love,
mi hni fnn hafn
Yet dared not show what i felt. What kind
of figure would a gloomy, saturnine and tor
tured lover cut in that house of facile gaiety
and easy rule? / had to eat out my heart in
silence. When saw blood had to paint in
rose color. When the world and all il con-
tanned were lying in the blacklist shadow of
death had to weave gariands with the rest
and crown the image of sorrow and despair with
roses wet with tears for dew. But SO far was
10 the good OF the account-Zoe still seemed
70 like me best and no other man had come
through the open door and stolen my treasure
Thus the time passed and on her twenty-tirst
birthday the prohibition removed. Ny
probation was over; i was formally engaged
the family consenting by no means enthu-
siastically, but always consenting like honor
able folk bound by their own promise-and Zoe
herself seeming to regard the whole thing as a
joke rather than solemn VOW
This engagement, releasing me from the
terrible constraSht of the last three years. per-
haps siackened the former ciose-set bonds too
much. Perhaps the knowledge that Zoe was
now at the least Professionally Iny own-openly
assigned 10 me and publicly betrothed-gave
too great strength TO the feeling OF possession
OF mastership. which had all along not SO much
lain dormant as been repressed / do not wish
70 excuse myself. Perhaps / alone was to
blame. had harnessed butterfy-caged
humming bird-planied nv field with flowers
then asked it to yield me fruit and grain. On
me was the shame OF sin, as on mo came the
sorrow OF sorrow. And yet loved her-heayen
alone knows how passionately,
None Ct Zoe's family wished her to marry me-
They had no special objection to me as a man
or as fortune. By education / was their
equal-In birth and fortune a shade their
superior. My character stood we'll; and
II the ermine of my life WASH not
entirely spotless 10 was not disgracefully
stained nor smirched. Still had been twice
the man was they would have disliked the
marriage. They loved her too well themselves
to wish to part with her to any one. This was
true OF all; but AlGernon. the younger brother
and the one Immediately before Zoe, WAS per-
haps the most hopelessly irreconcilable. lie
took the engagement as in some sort personal
anront and he would have broken it of il he
Could even at the eleventh hour
HIS methods toward this end were various
Sometimes he found mares nests OF scandal
which he paraded as things proved and posi-
ave hke SO many sums IN arithmetic. Some
times he made mischief by repeating whit
had said IN another intention or CARRYING as
true reports what had never said at all Some
times he tried despair. and sometimes en-
teaty-now he caressed and now he sulked:
but ali came TO the same thing in the end--he
wanted Zoe TO break of her engagement And
she held firm, If indeed we can apply such A
term to the light way she had of holding on To
anything At last he hit on another method
altogether. On the principle of one nail knock
ing ont another he brought up to the house
oil the best and most. eligible men he knew.
and as Zoe was one to turn the head of An IN