The Portland daily press., 1890-11-24

Absent minded Party-Hello, Barkinsi How is
Mrs. Barkins?
Barkins-Not very well. She has been Ill all
simmer.
. that. And how, is Mrs. Barkins9-New York
Sun.
What's the use of feeling languid,
Mopy, dull and blue?
Cleanse the blood and give it vigor;
Make the old man new.
How? I'll tell you. Tothe drug store
Go this very day
Buy medicine to Danish
All your ills away
And that medicine is Dr. Pierce's Golden Medical
Discovery the very best blood purifier on earth.
1t builds up and strengthens the system because
1t cleanses the blood, and that's what the system
must have to be strong and healthy. There's
nothing that equals If. Absolutely sold on trial
Your money back if it doesn't benefit or cure.
FOUL PLAY.
The turkey stalks
Along the walks.
And Sayly gobbles in his glory.
He little knows
That by his toes
He'll soon be hanging, limp and CORY
New York Journal.
Baby cried,
Mother sighed,
Doctor prescribed: Castoria!
Good Appetites.
"Yes," remarked the night foreman to his best
girl, 'we had three messes of pi during the night
and hardly enough to fill up with"
"Oh, myi" she responded; ''how hungry you
printers must getp'-Lawrence American.
Don't say there is no help for catarrb hay
fever and cold in head, since thousands testify
that Ely's Cream Balm has entirely cured them
1t supersedes the dangerous use of liquids and
snufs. II is easily applied into the nostrils and
gives relief at once Price SOC.
Miss Bessie Neater (cultivated) Her books
are simply delightful Indeed, / think she Is the
most liberal writer know Of
Miss Hattie Bacon (uncutivated) We'll, I don't
know. / don't think she is as liberal as Mrs.
S'uthworth. Mrs. Southworth gives you four
hundred pages for a quarter every time.-Bos-
tonian.
A century of progress has not produced a
remedy equal to Ely's Cream Balm for catarrh,
cold in the head and hay fever. 1t is not liquid
or a snuff but is perfectly safe and easily applied
cures the worst cases.
"Can you give me front room on the first
foor?" asked a travelling man of the recently in
stalled hotel clerk.
'Can give it TO you?"
eyes; that's what remarked
That's queer" said the clerk, with self-com-
placent smile, "y0ure the f0nl tn man today who
thought owned this hotel."-Merchant Traveller.
Suffer no longer from pain, you can buy first
class iiniment, Salvation Oil for 20 cts.
A clear throat and voice insured by using DR..
Buns Cough Syrup. Price 20 cents.
Aunt Hannah-And how do the Swifts get
along nowadays?
Uncle George-Admirably. / suppose you
know they don't live together.
Aunt Hannah.-Mercy! No. How long has that
been?n
Uncle George-Perhaps should have said they
don't live together very often. He's a commercial
traveller, you know.
You hardly realize that 1t Is medicine,
when taking Carter's Little Liver Pills: they are
very small; no bad effects; all troubles from
torpid liver are relieved by then use.
What fools, indeed, these mortals bet
And oremost in this land
OF many million mortal fools,
The foolish lovers stand.
Each thinks that with his own fair maid
None other can compare;
Poor tbii gsl they do not see that mine
Istweniy times as fair!
To be free from sick headache,
biliousness, constipation ETC., use Carter's Little
Liver Pills. Strictly vegetable. They gently
r.lnNA