The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1890-12-17
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
Hard and fast-The tough.

Hard and fast-Ihe tough.
Want dvertisements--All the pa
pers.
The man who hesitates usually SAVES
himself from loss.--Life.
It is a bright man that can tell the age
of a saw by loo':ing at its teeth.
The young man who forged his way to
the front is now in the penitentiary.
The sea has a net population of several
thousand millions. - Washington Star
A real estate man may be very know
ing and yet have lots to learn.-Sift-
ings.
Tread not in crooked paths, unless you
are landscape gardener.-IeraS Silt-
ingS.
"There no rest for the wicked"
ooh, yes there is. There's arrest for the
wicked. ."-Munsey's Weekly.
"What were your husban's last words"
''He hadn't any," sobbed the widow 81
was with hi Tile Ns'o Noon.
"Plunkitt, " said buckets, ''if you had
a million, what would you do9" "Wish
had another" replied Plunkitt.
When a man bolts his food he swal-
lows it. When man bolts nomination
he bolts it because he can't swallow it.
Queer. Cape Cod Item.
William Penn granted the land upon
which the first paper mill in America was
built. Pen and paper usually go to-
gether. american StSti0ner.
"By the way, what do you think of
Smiths calling7n "Oh, l don't mind it.
1 always tell the servant to say I'm out
] when Smith calls. Boston Transcript.
Old Lady Gn drugstore, to small boy
-"What am to take this medicine in,
sonny?" Sonny-"Take it in your
mouth, mum. 'Tain't to be rubbed on"
Ethel-"Have you ever noticed that
there is something depressing IN the
darkness?" Maud-"No, but / have
often noticed something pressing. "-Ne'o
York Herald.
Exasperated Judge (whose patience
has been sorely tried both by the plain
tiff and defendauO -'My chief regret is
that l can't decide against both sides. "
-Terds SDtings.
"Well, Fritz, did you have good
time at your auntsln "Oh, yes, father;
she took such good care of me; she used
to ask me every day whether was home
sick. ."--FliegeHde Biaetter.
Mrs. Blossom to her husband who has
come home with a black eye) THAT'S
what you get for riding bicycle" Mr..
Blossom (mournfullO-"No, my dear,
it's what get for not being able to ride
one. ."--Epoch,
Johnny docking at lightning-rod on
barn)-''Id like to know why it
branches out into two parts after it gets
upon the roof Willie with supreme
contempt for the others ignorauce)-
"To catch the forked lightning, o
course l"- Chicago Tribune.
A Cooking School Graduate; She
"Darling, please tell the grocer to send
me up two quarts of nice, fresh sponges.
He--"You cant get spouges at the gao
GERS, ducky, but I'll stop at the drug
gist's for them. What kind do you
want2n She-'I want the kind used
making sponge cake, and tell him they
must be fresh. "-.Seattls Press
For the benefit aud encouragement of
those who are sitting up all night trying
to solve that "twenty-one' problem re-
Gently presented in this column, we will
respectfully announce that the winner
may have his choice of tbs Capitol, the
State, War aud Navy building, the
Treasury building and contents, the
White House, the Monument or anything
else in sight. Now work hard dear little
boys and girls, and let us see who will
get the prize - Washington Star.