Wichita eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1886-1890, 1890-01-07
HIS EYES WENT BACK ON HIM.
The Remedy for a Man Who Saw a Woods
Full of Coons

The Remedy for a Man Who Saw Woods
Full of Coons.
"Doctor," said red faced and watery
eyed man from Wayne township, as he
came in DR.. Babcock's Office, in Ham,
mondsport, the other day, "Fm afraid
my eyes is goin' back on me, and drop
ped in to kind O see if l can find out
where they're lame"
"AhI" said the doctor. "What seems
to be the matter with your eyes?"
"That's what I don't know" replied
the man, ''but they played me a trick
t'other day that don't leave no room for
doubt but what there's somethin' out O
gear with 'em, somehow. I'll give you
the symptoms. Maybe you don't know
that I'm quite coon hunter, but am.
Tother day my boy bought one O these
britch loadin' and repeatin' shotguns, and
I told him I'd go out and see how it d
work on a coon. I went out, and hadn't
gone more than mile up the hill before
/ seen big coon pop on to the limb of a
chestnut tree. He came there SO sudden
that 1 couldn't get it through me where
he had come from or how he got there.
But didn't stop to ask no questions, but
up and blazed away. Now I've got the
name over our way, Doc, of never missin
anything shoot at, and of course when
pulled up and whanged away at that
coon expected to see him tumble, but
he didn't. When the smoke cleared away
he sot there jest as he was when I seen
him first. l was surprised, now, / tell
you. I thought it was the guns fault,
but blazed away again. The coon never
moved. I happened to look, somehow or
other, at tree off to the right of the one
the coon was in, and there sot another
coon on limb I thought I'd try my
luck on him, and SO let him have shot.
He never stirred.
Il begun TO git mad by this time, and
durin' a little conversation I was havin'
with myself about the gun / happened
to glance at tree to the left of the first
tree, and there on a limb was another
coon. l tried my luck on the third coon,
and didn't hit him no more than l did
t'other two. / looked at the first tree;
there was that coon, sittin' right where
he was when l first seen him. I looked
at the second tree, and there was that
coon, still on the limb. l turned my
head toward another tree, and there |
seen a fourth coon, and lookin' around
me whichever way might, every tree l
seen had coon in it, and all as fat as
coons could be. got wild.
"'Thunder! / hollered; heres the
woods full o coon, and hain't got moth
in BIZ this new tangled gun that won't
hit barn
But l begun to blaze away as fast as
the gun could spit Q cartridge, fust at
one coon and then at another, until
every darn load was emptied out O that
gun, and l hadn't dropped coon. /
was jist agoin' to slat that gun to flinders
against a tree, when l happened to rub
my eve. and when took my hand down,
there on my finger was a nice, Jolly, fat
wood louise. l looked up, but every coon
was gone. The fact o the matter is.
Doc, that wood louise had been hangin'
on to one of my eye-winkers all the
time, and l thought was seem coons.
Be gitrin' near-sighted. or is the optic
nerve doubliu' up on me:'
Neither one" said the doctor. Have
the hind pocket in your hunting pants
cut down from quart size 10 half-pint
and you'll be all right" i
The man went out shaking his head
and said he'd think about it,-Ham-
mondsport Cor. New York Sun.