The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-07-16
a MAN WITHOUT A FRIEND.
President Harrison a Universal Butt
for Jokers

Tor JOkerS.
From the NetU York Times
Three gentlemen seated about a table in
Delmonicos a few evenings ago attracted
the attention Of other diners in their part
of the room, not only by frequent bursts of
half-suppressed laughter, hut by the evil
dent enjoyment of two of the party over a
collection Of stories related by the third,
who had just returned from Washington.
They were all gentlemen well known in
New York life, not only by their names,
but by their faces, and the teller of the
stories, lifelong republican, is a familiar
inquire from one end of the country TO the
other.
Somehow" he was saying, 1.-THE stories
one picks up about Washington now are all
directed against poor old Harrison. The
successor OF his grandfather is the worst
Joked-about maa III the world Most of the
stories point to a moral. too-.one. for in
stance, about the Indiana Republican who
wanted to be appointed a collector Of inter
nal revenue. lie had done good work for
the party and there was every reason whV
he should have tie place. In fact, he had
pulled all the wires and his appointment
was Ger ain. But he was a nervous sort of
fellow, and as there was a little DELAY he
began to worry. The longer he wait d the
more he worried, until at length the supreme
proved too much for him and he to k a
train for Washington to see Senator In
gals.
We'll, said ingalls,, what are you doing
mere! \ GU ought not to SLOW yourself in
washington just now. You have a sure
thing; al you need is patience for few
days
~ know everything ought to be all
right the man replied, but still I've been
little uneasy about it. I've been bothered
with the idea that maybe Harrison iu-
tends to appoint some friend of his in In
diana
"'Then go right back home and compose
your mind, ingalls, replied; he hasn't got
oner"
One of the others broke in after the
laugh:
Friends! OF course he hasn't. He's the
| only man | ever met who never made a
friend in the whole course of his life, not
even In his own family. He is not the man
to make friend He takes no pleasure in
anything but the revised statutes of In
diana and the Westminster confession. How
could man make en- honest friend who be-
| lleves in the damnation Of infants at this
| stage of the worldM
They have a new one" the story-teller
| continued, about a lawyer and his client
who was travelling in western train and
an Indiana postmaster who fell into con-
versation with them. The postmaster, OF
course, was for the old flag ard an appropri-
alton every time, and he began talking
about Harrison.
"'Oh, he's no good, said the client, as
soon as Harrison's name was mentioned. III
it hadn't been for his grandfather he'd never
been heard Of
"'No goodr exclaimed the postmaster
why, my dear sir he is one Of the greatest
minds Indiana has ever produced
e. 'Humbugp said the client.
"'No humbug about it,, said the enthusi
astic postmaster. Look at his record He
was one OF the bravest generals i'll the
army, one of the greatest soldiers of hi,
time. In peace he was giant among men
The country has never produced graudel
statesman, nor has the Indiana bar evel
seen his equal
81 guess you'd have hard work to prov,
that, SAID the client.
"'No he wouldn't the lawyer inter
rupted. Easiest thing in the world. Har
rison admits itrn