davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Tombstone epitaph., 1890-02-01
A WONDERFUL SPRING.
Its Water Cures tlle Worst Case of Ale
 hOIism in Three Days.

Its Water Cures tIIe Worst Case of-AIco-
 hOIism iu Three Days.
 Cured of intemperance in three days!
 How many people know that the State of Georgia owns natural inebriate asylum?
 And, nevertheless, such is the fact.
 ''It is the most wonderful spring in the United States" said Special Officer Frederick, of the Atlanta police force.
 ''To what spring do you refer?"
 ''Indian spring. 1 have taken three men to that spring who were so far gone on the liquor habit that it looked as if it was impossible for them to quit, and every one of them was cured immediate ly. One of them had been practically drunk for four months. took along a supply of whisky, as people said it would kill him to quit of too sudden ly."
 ''Did he taper off?"
 ''He took one drink after he got to Indian spring and after that declined to touch drop. He said he did not want tat all. He remained there three days and you never saw such a transforma- tion. He was as sober as judge, his face was cleared of it's bioat and the red liquor look, and he was himself again. Since that time he has been at work steadily and has not touched a drop. That was six months ago, long enough to effectually settle the matter"
 ''Does it prove equally eficacious on others?"
 ''I have tried three cases and with the same happy results in every case. believe that that little spring, which does not hold over a gallon of water, is one of the most valuable in this coun- try, and worth all the hospitals in the land for the cure of inebriates."
 "Why don't somebody ship the water?"
 ''In the first place, the spring belongs to the State of Georgia, and is just as the Indians left it long ago. The State government has never. permitted any body to lease it or to attempt to enlarge the flow. The water is free for any body. In the second place, there is a volatile gas in the water that escapes after a few hours, rendering it fiat and robbing the water of it's extraor- dinary qualities. For these reasons no attempt has ever been made to ex- port it, and people are compelled to go to the spot to enjoy its benefits. It is wonderful spring in many other re spects, but it is the king of all liquor habit cures that ever I have seen. .'- Atlanta Constitution.
Tombstone epitaph., 1890-02-01
A SHARP PRISONER.
How Uncle SiIas Heaizs "SIung " Law All
 Over a,i Attorney.

How Uncle SiIas Heaizs "SIung Law All
 Over a,, Attorney.
 Silas Henks called on a lawyer. In stat ing the object of his visit he said:
 Some time ergo, shortly alter I come ter dis town, l tuck up bod wid Miz Hempsy, CT widder lady. want doin' no work at dat time, au' didn' pay up reg'lar, an alter while de fack come ter my knowledge dat owed de lady fifty dollars. She come ter me an said dat eff I didn' git her de money at once suthin' would happen, an thinlzin' dat it would be better eff suthin' did happen, l trapped on my knees so ter speak, an' tole de lady dat I lubed her, an then axed her ter be my wife. She greed ter de propersition, an we wuz married, an 'gratulated myself dat one debt wuz settled, anyhow. Wall, whut do you reckon has come ter pass now?"
 You want a divorce now, suppose" the lawyer answered.
 ''Oh, no, sah; ain't been thinkin' erbout no divo'ce. De case now stan's dis way now, sah. Ez tells you, when 1 married de lady didn't hab nuthin'. Wall, got a sort O CT start alter l wuz married, an it want CT great vile till l wuz wuth putty av'age sort CT COW, CT chunk O CT hoss, CT dray an CT few dollars in money, but, sah, whut has come ter pass? My wife looks wid CT jealous eye on my property"
 Does what?"
 ''Looks wid CT jealous eye, sah; wants me ter pay dat blamed boa'd bill"
 "Well, why don't you pay her?'
 ''I doan' feel like payin' her, an has come ter ax ef you will sort O gin mo some advice"
 If you owe her, pay her. That's the only way I see out of it.''
 ''Ah, hah, but hol' on CT mint. l owed Mig Hempsy, an now Mig Henks wants de money. doan owe Mig Henks neber boaded wid her; libs wid her Now, ef Mig Hempsy wants de money all right, but dar ain't no Mig Hempsy. Flaw, haw!" he laughed. Didn't know wuz sich CT lawyer ez dis yere. White pusson, git outen de way. l ken fling law all ober you."-Arkansaw Traveller
Tombstone epitaph., 1890-02-01
A DANGEROUS BEAST.
The Bug-Bear Described by a Student of
 Unnatural History.

The Bug-Bear Described by Student of
 Unnatural History.
 This animal, like several others, fourishes and grows in imagination. Its size varies according to the locality and the demand for it. If the case is urgent, then a large bug-bear is best; but if it is unimportant, and only neces- sary to have one on hand but not for actual use, then little bug-bear will answer.
 The bug-bear is always equal to the occasion-that iss if the person hand ling it is equal to the emergency. It must be acknowledged that the bug bear, like the cinnamon bear, is apt to turn on it's trainer or handler and hug all the fun out of him; but such risks must be taken in the menagerie busi- ness. What think you would have been the size of Barnum's great show had he been afraid of bug-bear?
 The chief use of the bug-bear is to add to the fright of those who would be frightened at their own shadow, any way. When they are all nicely scared, along comes some fellow with a bug bear, and away they go, taking fences, hedges and ditches at a bound, meta phorically speaking. It is strange, but nevertheless true, that all peo- pie are liable to be frightened by a bug-bear. Men who would bravely face stuffed bear and valiantly knock the straw out of him, turn pale, and it would be impossible to draw sheet of paper between their knees when they meet bug-bear.
 The nurse, to keep her charges order ly, has bug-bear; the stock-broker uses bug-bear to influence the market in his favor; the tradesman, the man of leisure, the laboring man and the bond holder, all have bug-bear. The police man is an exception-heh has bare club.
 The weak and timid can take consola- tion from the fact that, although the bug-bear has done a great deal of harm, it has never yet been known to bite.- E. R. Collins, in Texas Siftings.
Tombstone epitaph., 1890-02-01
CONVERTED TO BUDDHISM.

Ceremonies of Receiving an American
 Into the Goddess Church.
 Recent Ceylon papers contain accounts of remarkable ceremony which took place recently in Colombo This was the reception of gentleman from America, who lately arrived in Ceylon, into the Buddhist creed.
 The proceedings took place under the direction of the Buddhist high priest, as- sisted by eleven yellowrobed monks. The convert knelt before the assembled priests and intimated his desire to be ad- mitted member of the Buddhist Church. The high priest then catechised him and the assembled monks satisfied them selves that he was fitted to be follower of Buddha. The gentleman, whose name was Powell, then begged of the high priest ito give him the Pansil,n which the latter did, the candidate repeating it after him with the palms of the hands brought together uplifted. Having ex- plained to the convert the responsible duties of Buddhist the high priest gave him his blessing. A meeting was after ward held in which Mr. Powell ex- .plained his reasons for having embraced Buddhism, and described the mental process which he had gone through be- fore he arrived at the con viction of its truth.
 It appears that nearly forty years ago, when he was child, he came across book in his fathers library, in which was picture. It was the figure of Buddha seated in the conventional attitude on lotus. Impressed by the expression of peace and love on the face, MT. Powell got into the habit of going nearly every evening to room to sit in position as nearly like it as he possibly could. ''On asking who or what picture it was," Mir. Powell said: 'I was told that it was the picture of heathen god, but it's memory clung to me, and when I heard it's name I never forgot it, but learned later what the symbol was and it's meaning" Being, as he said, naturally of a relig- ious turn of mind, and being intended by his father to be a clergyman, Mir. Powell was well educated in the Chris tian doctrine. ''But I recognized and felt that there must be some law that could work out myself, and that if con trolled my thoughts my life manifested an obedience to that power; but it was long before I recognized that this was the law of right thought" At one time he appears to have sought refuge in agnosticism, but soon after he aban- doned this mental attitude, and a pe- rusal of ''The Light of Asia" aroused in him the desire to take refuge in the law nf ord Rnddha T .nndnn Times
Tombstone epitaph., 1890-02-01
SUCH STRANGE FOLKS.
Uncle Anthony Preferred to Lose Money
 to Having Dealings with Them.

Uncle Anthony Preferred to Lose Money
 to Having Dealings with Them.
 Anthony Phillips is well-l1nown cit izen of Little Rock. He is something of a politician, having at different times worked with the Democratic and Repub- Hcan parties; but his chief distinction is that he is the blacl1est negro in ArIan- saw. The other day Anthony went into life insurance office and asked for the man who paid out the money.
 What do you want?" the manager asked.
 T want CT thousand dollars, the negro answered. "Erbout three months ergo I had my wife's life insured in this company an now I want my money, fur de lady is dun dead. Yeres de papers, yere da is, sah."
 ''What was the matter with her?'' the manager asked.
 ''Got drownded. sah; was down in de country an fell offen CT foot-lOg inter de water an drownded ez dead as CT mack erel."
 Did anybody see her when she feI in?"
 ''Yas, little gal seed her; oh, she fell in all right, an now ef you'll jest count me out CT thousand dollars I'll be mighty 'bliged ter you. Yas, fell in all right enough"
 Did the coroner hold an inquest over her?" the manager asked.
 "N-n-n-no, sah, he didn'."
 "Why?"
 "Well, sah, me an dat man doan speak ter one nuder. We ain't on de same quality CT tall now, sah. Wife she got mad wid him some time ergo an den me an hin fell out, an when my wife wuz tuck outen de bayou dead and gone, wy didn't think it wuz jest de right thing ter hab dat coroner hold in his prOceedin's over her"
 ''So you buried her without the coro- ner being notified.
 HYas, sah, dat's whut we done-'zaclC- ly whut we done under de 'zisting sar- cumstances, sah. Yas, we done dat"
 ''Where did you bury her?'
 ''Huh-oh, whar did we bury her?"
 That's what asked"
 ''Yas, tibby sho'. We set her way of wander whar her sister ibes, sah. Uster say dat wen she died she wanted ter be buried way off wander, cage she tuck CT likin' ter dat country
 What is the name of the place?'
 ''Oh, it's CT little bit O CT place, sah; 'taint ez big ez Argentry jes' ercross de riber yere. Yas, mighty little, nO- count kind O CT place-so little dat you wouldn't know it eff you wuz ter see it, sah.''
 q don't care any thing about the size. What is the name?"
 ''Oak Bluff is de name O de place, of dat's whut you wanter know. Way of wander an CT small place, too"
 "Well, no matter how far nor how small. We'll send man out there to dig her up and bring her back here be- fore we pay you; bUt IIl;;-.-' J J-r-'-'z7rI5 can't be found, we'll have you sent to the penitentiary for ten years"
 ''Oh, well. now, ef dat's de way you do business you neenter send alter de lady. Jes' let de blame money go. l 'spize ter hab dealin's wid sich strange folks. "--Arkansaw Traveller.
Tombstone epitaph., 1890-02-01
HUMOROUS
Nicholas.

There is no more reason for writing obituaries in a dead language than for -riting notices of bankruptcy in broken -lish.-Life.
 How it worked: Carper-''So you've 5eeE trying the faith cure?" Harper 1es.' Carper-' Cure you?' Harper ..fes-of my faith Puck.
 That electricity was known in early Biblical times is proved by the fact that Noah 6rstmade the ark light on Mount &-arat.-Balutmora American.
 Little Flaxen Hair-''Papa, it's ainiag.7 Papa Somewhat annoyed by orz in handl-''Wel1, let 1t rain.' Lit -e Hlazon Hair (timidly)-'I was going .3.'-CLothiers' Monthly.
 1t is always well to be calm, even in .omon5s of great and intense excite sant, bIt few men can compass it when he nurse suiIirEly announces that it is v-us.-Icrre Haute Express.
 -1listress tto applicant for cooks po- aon) n)-.5Fhg did you leave your last H.c:' Hprlica nt-.-Nou are very in- l.sitive, rarm. didn't ax yer what yer last coollleft you."-Texas Sift-
 
 -1ianagcd to roll along: First hoop ze--'-Iimes arc pretty hard, aren't
 r.' Second ditt0-"Y Yes, butt man. a to make both ends meet" And put
 his tail in his mouth he went away. Lawrence American.
 -Crosus ito hotel proprietor)-"Can au accommodation by cashing check r S.ao))?" Hotel experimentation -gua@lG loiiars, Why, l never saw so 1-o'l money in my life. However, my .fler is around somewhere, and he will .nhIess be glad to accommodate you" Time.
 -HoJel clerl1-'.E Excuse me, sir, we n net allow you to take those Indian 15s and aumb-balls up to your room" CIV gues5-~''Why, what do your guests D for eEercise?7 Hotel clerk-''We ave no objection to a limited number of aan going to the kitchen before break and pounding the steaks, ,"-America. -"William," ," said a grieved father to is absolute boy, do you know you are airg straight to the devil?" ''No, sir" swered William, promptly ''There l't any devil. lies been ruled out of Q game. You'll have to come at me me other way now, father" And sad but firmly Williams father came at n for the next ten minutes with a ong, tough hickory sWitch.-Chicago Tribune.
Tombstone epitaph., 1890-02-01
PERSONAL AND LITERARY.

The Chautauqua Literary and Scien. tific Circle now has 15O, ,OOO names on it. roll.
 The Dictionary of Fossils, issued by the State of Pennsylvania, contains thirty-four pages in small print cor recting statements found on the other 4O5 pages.
 In writing to De Witt Talmage in praise of one of his books, Wilkie Collins spoke of ''the wise words which tell married people how to bear with each other and to help each other, under the trials and troubles of their lives"
 Henry Russell's song, "A Life on the Ocean Wave," has been adopted as the royal march of Britain's marines. MT. Russell resides in London and is now very old man. He is the father of W. Clark Russell, author of ''The Frozen Pirate," first published in the Detroit Free Press, and other sea stories.
 John Bright, who was lover ot poetry, said that he always selected American poets as more clear, intelligi- ble and unconventional. Whittier, Longfellow and Lowell he classed as al- ways clear as running brook, as bright as sunshine, and refreshing as breezes, while the English poets aim at subtle ties
 Miss Helen Gladstone has taken to journalism. Miss Gladstone's experi- ence of women will warrant her writing with authority on their affairs. She has for nearly ten years been closely con nected with Newnham College, Cam bridge, first as student, then as secre- tary to Mrs. Sedgwick, whom she suc- ceeded as vice-principal of the college.
 Some one writing of Miss Mary l.. Booth, late editress of Harper's Bazar, tells how she supported herself by sewing while she wrote for the press gratis. She was 'learning her profes- sion," as she herself expressed it, and she certainly learned it to some purpose. The New York World says her success may be an encouragement to a certain brave little woman. in New York, who, while supporting herself by writing ten hours day in a ''title insurance office," attends art classes in the evening, where she is busily striving to attain sufficient proficiency in her chosen profession to live by it and give up her less congenial occupation.
 Sir Edwin Arnold, featuring upon the ''Mahabharata," said: ''This is the great epic poem of India. It contains over 220, ,000 lines, besides a supplement of about 1s,OOO lines; enough to make eight times as much as the 'Iliad' and Odyssey combined, with several 'Vir- gils' thrown in. Some philologists have derived it's name from words meaning book of weight indicating that the gods preferred it above all others; but this is fanciful, and it's real origin is from words meaning great war of Bha- rata.' The poem is highly valued-it might almost be said worshiped- throughout India. The natives consider that even to have heard tits sanctifying, and to have read it through frees one from sin."
Tombstone epitaph., 1890-02-01
A Enrtnne in a ThimhIe.

There is a rich family of the name of Lofting in England, the fortune of whose house was founded by such an apparently insignificant thing as the thimble. The first ever seen in En- gland was made in London less than two hundred years ago by metal worker named John Lofting. The use fulness of the article commended it at once to all who used the needle, and Lofting acquired large fortune. The implement was then called the thum- bell, it being worn on the thumb when in use, and it's shape suggesting the rest of the name. This clumsy mode of utilizing it soon changed, however, but the name, softened into ''thimble," re- mains.-Boston Journal.
Tombstone epitaph., 1890-02-01
An Eye to Business.

'I have just been up in Vermont 7 said Treasury clerk yesterday. ''The na- tives have lost none of their cuteness. The town where l was stopping has about 4,5OO inhabitants. One of the se- lectmen runs hardware store, and two weeks ago his dog was bitten by 8 neigh bors dog. It was small enough mat ter, but see what happened. First, he had the neighbor's dog killed; then he raised the cry that the dog had been mad, and had bitten other dogs. The selectmen met and ordered that every dog should be muzzled for forty days. and the thrifty hardware man has sold nearly 800 muzzles at $1 apiece. StaiC old family dogs travel around town with leather thongs around their jaws, which never closed on any thing more human than beef bone. I saw one big mas tiff that had worked his muzzle off and was lugging it around in his mouth. ."- Washington Post.
Tombstone epitaph., 1890-02-01
STARTLING GLUTTONY.
Hogs in Human Shape Discovered in
 Various Parts of the World.

Hogs in Human Shape Discovered in
 Various Parts of the World.
 The Hottentots, Bushmen and savage South African races generally are enor- nous gluttons. Ten of them, says Barrow, ate in my presence the whole of an OK all but the hind legs in three days, and the three Boesmans that ac- companied my wagon devoured sheep on one occasion in less than twenty four hours. In cold climates such feats as these would only be trifes, and Parry and Ross have recorded cases that, were they not well attested, would pass be- lief. Sir Edward Parry once tried the capacity of an Esquimau scarcely fully grown, and this interesting young savage contrived, in twenty-four hours, to devour four pounds four ounces of the raw, hard-frozen flesh of sea-horse, the same quantity of it boiled, one pound twelve ounces of bread and bread-dust, pint and quarter of rich gravy soup, tumbler of strong grog, three wine-glasses of raw spirit and nine pints of water. Sir John Ross, indeed, believed that the daily rations of an Esquimau were twenty pounds of flesh and blubber, but, in ex- tenuation of so enormous con sumption as this, the severity of the climate must be taken into account. Captain Cochrane, on the authority of the Russian Admiral Saritcheff, tells how one of the Yakuts had consumed the hind quarter of large OK in twenty four hours, together with twenty pounds of fat and a proportionate quantity of melted butter. As the man had already gorged himself in this disgusting fash ion it hardly seemed possible that he would be able to consume any more, but the worthy Russian Admiral, to test him, gave the savage thick porridge of rice boiled with three pounds of butter, weighing together twenty-eight pounds. The glutton sat down to this abundant banquet, although he had just partaken of breakfast, and, without stirring from the spot or showing any sign of incon- venience, got through the whole. Cap tain Cochrane adds that a good large calf, weighing two hundred pounds, will just make meal for four or five Yakuts, and that he has seen three of them con sume whole reindeer at one meal. The feats of English working-men, on their annual club feast day, would surpass be- lief; leg of mutton has not been found too much for one man. Dr. Darwin, the father of Charles Darwin, had the repu- tatiOn of being glutton, and is reported to have called goose-a favorite Salop dish-an inconvenient one, as being too much for one and not enough for two.- Cornhill Magazine.
Tombstone epitaph., 1890-02-01
FREE-LUNCH FACTORIES.
Establishments Which Prepare Edibles fol
 Saloons on a Large Scale.

Saloons on a Large Scale.
 There are ''free-lunch factories" in the town. In the establishments known by that name food is prepared for the many hundreds, perhaps thousands, of liquor stores whose owners set out, on tables or counters opposite their bars, more or less tempting arrays of edibles. The professional temperance orators, who miss no weak spot in the armor of those whom they consider the arch foes of so- ciety, have always asserted that nothing is offered at these free refreshment counters except such food as is so salt of so dry as to send the victimized partici- pant in the feast back to the bar fo1 more drink. Some basis for the assertion is seen in the omnipresent smoked mackerel, smoked herring, cheese, crackers and smoked beef that the pub licans offer, yet it may be that drinking begeUs taste for such peculiar prov ender. Time was when the saloon keepers bought and prepared all the ma terial for their lunch-counters, but to- day regular business is done by many large dealers in these supplies. They chop the herrings by machinery, cut up the cheese and the bread upon delivery, vary the assortment of viands they bring according as the contract with each saioon-keeper warrants and have entire and absolute charge of that branch of the business of great majority of the public-houses, of which, by the way, New York City boasts about ten thousand. Atleast one dealer in table fare in the city has de- veloped very queer business. He buys whatever food is left over from the prin- cipal hotels. It is not fare which any one could object to his selling, or which those who patrOnize him need to be ashamed of purchasing. It is what is left of the joints of meat after the best cuts have all been taken, what is left of the pastry of the day at the close there of, the cooked vegetables which will not keep another day, and so on. When this mans wagons roll up to his basement door, in the heart of a thickly settled neighborhood, his house is besieged by women and children carrying baskets. His tables and counters are quickly bur dened with dishes and plates and boards, upon which this cooked food is heaped, and he and his assistants apportion the commodities according as they are paid. Fifty cents buys large basketful with something from each dish in the portion. For quarter of a dollar there is less in quantity and variety to be had. Those who only offer ten cents get only meat and bread. Alas! he says that though for fifty cents whole families get plen- tiful supply, there are also households that are obliged to subsist upon what half that sum entities them to.-Har- pers Weekly.