The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1890-09-11
WIT AND HUMOR.
MoDEsTY.
What hundred books are best, think you
sal
MODESTY.

E hChuIlth bangs, III ttc NSHtuIt.
There is always room for one more
in the Observation-Disclosures Necs.
The happy medium-T one who
has not been exposed Boston Beacon.
Your strict temperance man takes
very little pleasure in going fishing
Boston Courier.
If delays are dangerous the legal
profession contains the pluckiest men
in the world. Puck.
People who say sharp things often
get the reputation of being blunt
baltimore Amcricdn.
They're canny lot" "Who?"
The lobstcrfactory people in New
foundland. lester.
After spending an hour with a pref.
ty fool, how refreshing homely people
re.--4tchison Globe
Man cannot fy but he can utilize
the flight Of stairs when he wants to
go up.-Bnghqnat0n Republican.
Why is a long engagement like a
hammock? Because it makes falling
out so easy.-Buriiagton Free Press.
Love is blind, and from the pet
names he uses one would think his
articulation sadly defective also. =
Puck.
We shall not know each other there il
we are TO identify our neighbor by what
is said on his tombstone
Globe.
Love will come in loves own time, I"
MARBLES a poet. Love reminds US SC
much of hotel waiter. = Tonkers
Statesman.
The cat has nine lives, which shows
that nature had pretty fair idea of
what the cat would have to 60 through.
Saratoga Sun.
No one knows where corn came
from, but many can tell where it goes
to by the feeling next morning.
TEXAS Sytings.
so you think he really loves you?"
Il am sure of it. He does nothing but
| quarrel with me every time We meet. !"
-Terre Haute Express.
You can't always tell the occupant
of the starched shirt by the gloss on
the bosom. Summer girls and sum-
mer Washington Post.
Miss Partridge-''Well what do YOU
think of my bathing suit, professor?"
TIE Professor-"Um! Did YOU bring
it with you?''-Drake's Magazine.
why do you call that group of
middle-aged ladies on the piazza an.
atomists?" Because they are always
cutting up people. "-Bost0n Gazette.
Why is it that the same hammock
that once held two persons will not
hold them year or so after they have
been made one?-Ierre Haute FL
press.
I'm AFRAID, Johnny" said the Sun
| day-school teacher rather severely that
| will never meet you in Heaven"
why? What have you been doin'
ow?n-AshIand Press.
Blobson-''Poor Mrs. Tufstake! Do
You know how she happened TO lose
all her money!" Dumpsey Yes;
she took three lawyers in to board. -
burlington Free Press.
Mrs. Mccarthy Ito peddler) is
thin cabbage nice, Mr.. O'Leary? o.
Leary (gallantly) 'Bedad, they're as
| fresh and green as yourself, Mrs. Nc
Carthy. "-Boston Herald.
1T is strange the ties that attach us
| to disagreeable things at times" as the
dog said to the tin can sequel. Still
| in ones life such things are bound to
a cur. "-Phildielphia Times.
who is happy on this mundane
| sphere?" sneeringly exclaimed Pes
sinus. The girl with her first en-
gagement ring" triumphantly replied
Opt;mus. -Jewelers' Circular.
Visitor(to prisoner)-"Wh brought
you here?n Prisoner = Misplaced
! confidence" Visitor - How was
that?n Prisoner-"I thought l could
run faster than could. "-Racket
Said the first man: They tell m,
you were out on Il bender last week
Worse than that" said the seconc
man, feeling in his empty pockets; lit
was breaker. "-1erre Haute Express.
Pretty hard work ditching. isn't it
Terrence?" Sure. it's not the work
| moind, but what's breaking my heart
is I'm the only American on the Job.
The rest is all Eyetalians. "-Brooklw
Life.
Great Publisher-''Verv sorry. sir,
but your manuscript will not do" Old.
Time Novelist" What is the
matter with it?" Great Publisher
ut seems to have plot."-N W
Weekly.
Customer-"Will you give me 3
sample of this, please?" Clerk-"Very
sorry, ma'am, but we don't give sam
Piles any more We'll.
then, I'll take enough for bathing
suit. life.
Low Comedian-Miss Sheridan. the
actress, has just married New York
man named Fry. | see. Envious Star
What did she do that for? She al
ready belonged to the small fry family
Chicago Times.
Why are you drinking that black
coffee?" Because l have the head.
ache" The headache? Why don.
you do as those do who have the tooth.
ache? Why don't you get it tilled?"-
Fhegendc Batter
Give ne a toboggan," he said to
the barman. What do YOU mean?n
Why. whisky, of course. There's
nothing like it when Il mans going
down-hill to make the descent lively"
Philadelphia Times.
HE Quarreled with His Wife," is
the heading of 4 half-column article in
an exchange. In this busy age a
newspaper can hardly hope to attract
attention with so commonplace head
line as that IFhiteSide Herald.
..Nor,',n L..