Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1890-09-05
The Fat Mans Victory.

the latter WIS Tile WOlidu Will tuIcc
toy balloons on a string, which bob
bed around in a light and airy fash
ion.
A fat man standing just behind the
woman became involved with the
balloons One or the other of them
would bob around and hit him on
the nose, averaging about three
knocks minute. To the passengers
who looked on there seemed to be
some system in the attack. The
balloons would come at the fat man
in single file. If he lodged the first
the second was pretty sure to land on
his nose. II he succeeded in lodging
both the first and second it was a
sure bet that the third would reach
his nose with terrific effect, as we say
in prize-tighting circles.
Sometimes the balloons would ad-
vance on the fat man three abreast,
forming a solid front that he could
not escape, and on several occasions
it was observed that, while the center
one hit him on the nose, the two com
prising the right and left fianks
would deploy suddenly and bang him
on either ear.
The fat man put up his dukes, and,
although in guarding his face he dis
played considerable science, yet it was
soon evident that he was getting the
worst Of it.
But fat isn't as unkind to fat man
az sometimes appears. So, as if
following the suggestion Of some
sweet spirit, he took his knife from
his pocket, opened blade, felt ten
derly Of its point, and seemed salts
fed Despair fled from the fat man $
face and hope hung its rainbow there
instead. He looked twenty years
Younger than he did ten minutes be-
! fore.
He fixed the most aggressive of the
balloons with his glittering eye, and
with the knife poised between thumb
and finger waited for an attack. En-
boldened by recent victories the
balloon bobbed nearer the fat man S
nose, that was now showing plainly
the effect Of repeated assaults.
A carful of passengers watched the
outcome with breathless interest.
The fat man had himself well in
hand, and when the balloon came
near enough he made a dexterous
thrust with his knife-blade and, 10
the usefulness of that balloon was
ruined i'm an instant. A moment be-
fore it was pulled up with an air OF
Joy and gladness, and life for it had a
ROSY glow. 1t danced on the end OF
its string like thing that knew no
sorrow, and now where was 1t 7
There was a puff Of escaping air,
gasping for breath, and wrinkling
as Of sudden old age, letting go OF
all the things of this life, complete
and utter collapse-a shriveled bit O.
red rubber hanging to a string, and
that was all.
The fat man had stabbed it in a
vital spot.
The woman clung to the strap, nor
rocked of the tragedy behind her.
The fat man stood up proud and
erect, as a gladiator who had just
rammed his brawny arm down the
lions throat and turned the beast in
side out.
There was lull in the battle, as II
to give the two balloons time to bury
their dead, and hostilities were re-
newed 1t was plain that the two
surviving balloons were suddenly
| seized with the spirit of red revenge.
! While the victor's smile still lllumlned
! the fat mans face and made more ru-
bicund his nose, one of the balloons
danced up his way and gave him a
bat on the ear. He reached out for
it with his right and missed, and the
other one fetched him one on the
nose.
The fat man felt again for his
! knife blade and smiled. The second
balloon danced near. fell back again,
rose to the full length OF its string,
ouivered in the air moment as II
about to spring upon its victim,
and
Zip went the knife through the air
and another balloon went TO join
that silent majority of one.
The fat mans face broadened to a
| foot and the woman still cluDg to the
strap. q,
The one remaining balloon had
more room and made the most OF IT.
1t felt that the day might still be won
by a heroic effort, and hit the fat man
! fifteen or sixteen times with rapidIty
that surprised the spectators. 1t
would swipe him first on one side and
/ then on the other In trying TO
guard both ears he would leave his
nose exposed and suffer by it. The
jolly red balloon was as happy as
harvest moon and danced around as
if ii felt it would knock stars out OF
the sky.
The fat man was serene. once
more he felt for his trusty knife blade
and smiled the same smile we have
seen before. The balloon was hover
ing around waiting for an opening.
The fat man made feint as if TO butt
the balloon with his head, and when
the balloon thought it was about TO
land safely on the fat mans ear, 1t
felt a sharp pain in its side, and,
presto three limp and lifeless things
were all that were left of three red
] - holInnnc