The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1890-08-07
AWFUL BAD w1rH THE "RHEUMArrz."

We lay around. chatted q little occasionally
and scanned the landscape in vain for anything
Of even remotely hostile character. After some
hours Of this peaceful mOnOtOny, il occurred
20 Web 10 remark:
= believe We might ketch a nice mess o
fish down IN that crick there. Cad, if there's
no objection, les 80 down and try IT,"
De produced some hooks aud lines, and
looked inquiTingly at job
a guess it'll be al right" answered Job
after 3 m0inentary survey Of the creek, which
was in plain view, at the foot OF the slope
I'd like some fresh fish myself, and I'd like
tO 60 a-f-hiu', but ] suppose / ought 10 stay
here. However, that needn't hinder you're
goin'. You'll be in easy reach all the time"
Web and Cad cut poles from the thicket,
found some bait by turning over q rotten log,
and started off expecting fine sport.
Presently Quin yawned.
S0Wi av me grandfather, but Dim t'irsty
for drop av Of the r2le ole stuff Oi niyer
wanted drink SO bad in all me loife. This
salt water kzPes me al on foire. OF behave ON
jist stip over to that white house beyant, and
see If they haven't sOneth ing thatIl take the
mullygrubs ont aV me trOat
DE tossed his gun over bis arm and started.
After he left the place seemed dull and lonely
Dracy," yawned Herman after bit, while
de rest Of dc pOys are gone ied's rs kO down
q dat udaer house Ofer dere mt see II we CANT
Eet Something's 70 cad Id would pc gOot ting,
wouldn't Il, 20 haf a nice supper ready for dem
by de dimes when dey kets pack NIT deir wish.
Msype vel fHt some sOuF-eTout"
JOb offering 30 objections ] lifted my gun and
went OF with Herman, leaving Job alone with
Ian, who. usual, WAS intently perusing q
late Issue Of the Christian A9UOoate.
walk of half mile brought Us TO fairly
good farmhouse. little of the road, which we
decided 70 enter, for Herman, after scanning il
snr~TH1 1rs-f Fir ravr rsrrarui iazHf fr4Hr
" Dat is dc pest house ve haf seen yet De
peoples dere seem 70 haf more idea Of lifting
III Just pet dey'Fe got some sour-crout"
a middlc-aged man came hobblng 10 the
door 70 receive Us lie rubbed his lefl shoulder
with hiE right hand, aud his face bore an cx-
preston of great pain, mixed with much fear
swear 70 God, gentlemen" lie began say
ing before wecould utter word, +" Tm peace
able luzn. and alluz WIZ in favor o the Union.
] voted ag.H secession, an haiut tux no part ia
the war at all kunBei Bill Williams, him
that 6t ye down ter Ninton, tried TO make
me turn out with the meisler, but ] sent !m
word that ! d see him dad burned fust an 50 |
would. ] hope you La.ut come ter carry ne
away or molest my property. Il u done kill
NE II &c carry me away, fur I'm now n0uty
nigh oeaJ with the jumpn' rheumatic, an
cant Fis--K 2 Ind 10 save MY mortal life"
hat lie can't I'll swar ter that on the Holy
Bible, putin q woman who was Biping the tears
out Of her eyes with her apron. Hes the
highest Oh ter dead man ye ever seed up an
round. I've just rubbed him all over with
1slwOrm OIL. which is the pOweTfuIest thing
IN the tce-iotaI world for jumping rheumatic
but hit haint hOlp him One speck. Mebbe you
gentlemen know o something that III knock
the rheumatic"
No, We don't, I'm sorry 10 say" answered
But don't be alarmed, We've not come 10
arrest you or harm your property. We thought
-.rH.# 1.H.-- e J.
" III you sell u some chlckensf"
Yes. mi haf You some sour-crout?" added
Herman.
"Sour-crout1" said the man doubtfuily.
. Yes, Andy" spoke up the woman That's
the truck that woman from PeHnsylvan Ia laTued
me ter make outen co.lardG. She said they
aliuz made hit outeu cabbitch. but we don't
raise 10 cabDitch-uHly co!lards. She said
that d 40, an we made some Ter have for COM
paBy or sickness, and you wanted il thTowed
sway las week, bekasc you Eaid Eit was sp lied
aud WIZ DTlugiE' the cTOgs around !"
% IDS just ripe if il priEgs de crows
ET0unt,' laid Herman, with enthusiasm. Val
you sell Us s0meT"
Apparently attracted by the conversation,
another man AObbled 10 ;uc door.
Ibiss NY brother Eeub," explained the
woman. Hes a-suGeriH' powerful with the
Eheumatiz t1O'
keub gave a distressing groan 10 confirm this
report, aud rubbed his leg vigorously.
noticed singular thing about Andy. When
We hrsi saw Bim hc had his right leg drawn up.
and nOw j noticed that il Was his left which
seemed uOs. affected. lie Was now rubbing his
right shoulder with his left hand, where at
frst the operation had been reversed. Before
could reason out this COMPLICATION he replied,
very obsequl0ns.y:
4es. gentlemen, you kin have as many
chickens - you want but / reckon yen hey
70 keicA en- yourselves, as ne an Rcub air
both TOO oraEed up with rheumatic 10 be very
6pTy bout EetcAiH' chickens"
"Al right, we'l catch them" answered
starting FOR the stable-yard, followed By Her
uan. " h0 called out:
Ket us q Pucket fall of de sour-crout. mt
veil bay you veil for IT,"
Of cOuTse. We could not chase chickens sue
cessiully with cur guns in our hands, 80 We
stood tAlm up against the eOrncrb
Herman and each caught fne fowl af,er
short run, but were horror struck on looking
around toward our guns 10 find the two men
advancing from the crib with leVeed shotguns.
All traces u their rheumatism had vanished,
and they moved quite as briskly as we q ID.
Hold up your hands and surrender, We
blne-bellied whelps," they yelled
Shoot EN- down, Andy; kill 'em; don't
trust en-" screamed the woman on the
porch. Don't trust 'em, ] tell ye, for they'll
XII ye ef ye gin 'em half chance
how bitter that moment Was | felt that I
Woald rather die than surrender but then what