Marble Hill press., 1890-07-24


Aud bu:i.r strong
Miss twenty eight ,eoyly}-"l had
strange irran. rhr other night, Mr.. De
PeysteT ,llaam.i-oniy think, that
yol ah,. Were married and on ul aed-
ding tour You don't know !,og real 1t
seemed Did you dream the same thing
tou?
He frmly)-"No, Miss Twenty-eight.
! did not In fact haven't had the night
mare now Tor good many years.
Tommy-Paw, what does the word
native meani'
MIR. Hgg-"Why, il means what you
are horn TO or in, 80 To speak"
Tommy-"Then when the teacher said
that MT. Chun Gee was to deliver an ad-
dress in his native costume, did she mean
. that he was to speak in the costume that
he was born in;"
Mr.. Figg--"I gness II is about time
you wens;o bed"
She (sentimentally)-"l often think
that the world is full of unsuny songs"
He (practically)-"What's the use Of
them if We never hear themt"
Sh,-"Ah We saI feel them There If
, a song in the Hover, in the flying cloud,
the
He-"WelI. 'hc world may he full Of
nnsnnR songs, but am going to take
care that il j, not i!.l uf unkissei kissca."
Let the curtain be drawn,
wait moment outside; Maria. I've
got 10 step III here"
"Iou ouaht to have more regard for
appenranoe3, John, than 20 stop al u dug
store on the way 10 church"
(Firr'"ly}-"lt ism, Il question Of ap-
peArances. haria, It's a question OF econ
omy. I've 20. TO huy cigar or two AMI
get some small chansS or else throw this
twenty-five cent piece II the contribution
box Do you think I'm Jay Gouldi"
A friend OF ours relntcs the following,
and ata'"s that the scene occurred at
hotel in Bridgeport, Conn The land
lord said 20 II buerl1r.
See here, Mr., tho chambcrmaid
found u hair,!n IN yonr hcd this morning
and IT vii! not answer. cannot have
snch tninys going on IN my house"
"Wcll," replied tn" hourder, Il found
hair n the hnt'er this morning hnt 1t
tioes not provo yon had q woman II II "
The .wo men locked at each other for
about ten seconds, when each smiled and
went his way, no doubt pondcrlng on the
peculiarities OF circumstontial evidence.
A Portland boy committed some mis-.
demeanor for which he was about to re-
ceive punishment at the hands of his
mother The hoy begged to be allowed
TO go to his room Permission was
e,nnted and the child vent up stairs to
hle own room aud closed the door behind
him The mother followed md listened
and come down again md receive HE pun
lshment Tho hoy went TO the sldo o!
the he'd, knolt down and this was his
lEnEor
"Dcar Lord, Il yon love lit:le hoys and
want to help me ont, now is the time"
The prayer wss answered.
A tramp applied to crusty merchan,
for q small loan
"It'A arninHt lay principlca," he aaid,
"tu give money 80 such fellows az you"
y hope, sls," said the tramp, that
you will change your mind In my case, ]
want 80 little, You know"
"liow much will satisfy your"
you may deternlne that, sir"
Well, here's q nickel, now don't spend
IL for whiskey"
"you might do shat, sir," said the
tranp, taking the money, but won't"
Il might" queriod the surprised NOR.
chant. "What do you moan2"
"Well, ! mehn that yOE look lihG
mnn thnt would drink .lvo-ccnt whia-
kGy and know I'm no. that kind Good
day." md he disappeared hurriodly.
Mrs, Hnypeed, fat big city hotol):--
They Ii awfuliv attentive 81 this tavern,
atns thoy2" Mr. liayseei; -"Ycs, sire@
th.v,o >,,uni IN vivN ug tho worth Of o,r
money, 1uess. Them errand boys has
been In a dozen times In the last half
hour to see II l wanted anything. What
are you working at there, Marier?" "Ivo
been try!n' for tho last half hour ter SEQ
what this ere button In the wnll Is for"
Hired Girl:--"Two gentlemen at the
door, sir, want to SEQ you. They didn't
come together, but happened along az
the same time" Citizen:--"How do
they aetY' Zone OF them ie very polite,
and beps the honor Of fow minutes CON-
versation." Il don't wnnt to see him.
he's book ngcnt.' The other isn't pc.
ltto ut all He says ! wnnt to see him"
That's dun Tell 'om both I'm not ut
homo" ,,.,, ~
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