The Durham recorder. [volume] (Durham, N.C.) 1879-19??, 1890-09-03
DURHAM RECORDER.
"WEDNESDAY, SEPT. 8. 1880:
MIR. AND MRS. BoWSER.
The Head of the Family Tries
Sleeping in "a Hammock.
t#&H p.xn{t Fran prAak

w nat IL:
@Nothin;:, except that I've been a
fool!n
The next evening" he came home
an hour earlier than usual, and he
had d large bundle under his arm.
He didn't wait for me to ask what it
contained, but unrolled 1t and said:
Il propose to sleep in this ham
mock after this"
.But where will you hangit?"
.sOh, Ill find place. How stu
pid Of me not to have thought OF it
before"
After prospecting for a while he
decided on the fiat, grayeled roof OF
the kitchen, which was easily reach
ed from an upstairs window. He
found a place for the hooks and
stretched the hammock, and an
hour before our usual bed time he
was prepared to occupy it. He re-
moved bis coat, vest, collar and
shoes, kissed baby good night and
went out of the window, while sat
down beside it to watch tie course
of events. Mr.. Bowser had slung
the hammock about three feet above
the roof. He walked over it, gave
tia shake and fell into it. No, be
didn't. 1t lodged him and he went
down on his hands and knees and
got up muttering:
"Oh, that's your game, is it?
Well, you don't beat me again"
Il took him ten minutes to get
stretched on his back in the folds of
tine hammock, and he had scarcely
heaved the first sigh of satisfaction
when he gave q kick and. growled:
''Consarn it, but the mosquitoes
have found me out already! Take
that!n
For the next ten minutes he was
busy with the pests, and it was while
he was thrashlng his arms about his
feet that the hook at the foot Of his
hammock pdlled out, and sir. Bow
ser came down with a crash on the
roof. The gravel few and he ut
tered a yell, and | appeared at the
window TO ask:
Mr.. Bowser, what has happened?
Has the roof collapsed?"
Collapsed nothing!" he growled,
Us he hunted for the hook.
.But what was that awful poise9
Il didn't hear a sound. Igot out
Of the hammock TO lower it a bit.
Go back to bed and stay therev
When be thought l had gone he
fixed the hook and got back into
The hammock, but | could hear him
growing under his breath about
pitch, gravel, mosquitoes and idiots
and ] knew be wasn't at peace with
all mankind, for the next half hour
] could hear him slapping at the in
sect, and twisting about. Then he
suddenly caught sight Of three OF
four boys skulking up the alley. II
was bright moonlight, and from the
way they acted ! knew they were
ION" to Mr.. Bowser. Some OF
them had probably seen him sling
ing the hammock before dark and
suspected his design. They came
opposite, stood In line and at a sig
nal all let ty, and jumped behind
the barn. Each one threw a pota-
10, and while only one hit the ham,
mock the others crashed against the
house with loud noise.
"Jewittaker! but what on earth Is
that" yssped Mr.. Bowser,as be sat
up.
Mr.. BoWser, Is everything all
right" asked from the window.
Everything all night! What's
the matter with you? Why don't
you 70 10 bedi"
I-l thought ] heard another
noise"
"tIh, you did! Well, / didn't. I
was almost asleep when you yelled
out"
] pretended to 20 away, and after
. bit Mr.. Bowser settled down on
his back and everything was quiet.
Then the boys came out again.
There were four Of them. They
had hat full OF missiles, and each
threw three or four before making
arelreat. Mr.. Bowser was hit in
the head with q potato, and in the
side with q tomato, and on the leg
with q cucumber, and the noise of
the other missiles against the house
was like eannonade.
"Hers-whoa-police! shouted
hr. BOwssr, a. be struggled up, but
81 that moment the head of the
hammock gave way and he was
poured out on the roof in q confused
heap. lie made two jumps for the
window and got in, but not in time
TO catch me. He came into the bed
room with pitch on his hands and
gravel stones in bis hair, and be-
fore could say q word he began:
Mn. Bowser, III get even With
you Tor this, il | have TO live 100
years.
why, What have I dobe?"
Never you mind! Look at me!
Aren't ] purity sight,!
Yes, but why did you try TO
sleep out thereS"
you ask why-you! Why