The Bennington banner. [volume] (Bennington, Vt.) 1858-1894, 1890-10-23
WISE AND OTHERMIsE.

on the paper.
-fn-Liquor-Well, we amt got
no (hic) job for him. Tell him (hic) our
staff ish full (hic) just now.-Mlmsev's
Weekly.
I've been a sufferer from rheumatism
for years and have been unable to obtain
any relief at all. Salvation Oil gave me
entire relief and heartily recommend it.
Henry Winkel, Baltimore, Md.
What so wonderful, as severe cough
cured by, DR.. Bulls Cough Syrup for 25
cents. Try it!
The Assistant Editor-I have some par
agraphs on socks here. Where shall |
put them.
The Chief-Among the foot notes.
CiOthier and FUnisher.
An Exceptionally Good Number.-Edi-
tor of the Morning ProSer: Here's this
mornings paper, just from the press
it's still damp, you see.
Friend-Damp? That something un-
usual. Most days it is pretty dry.
The annoyance occasioned by the con-
tinual crying of the baby, at once ceases
when the cause is promptly removed by
DIR. Bulls Baby Syrup.
One of the most popular household
remedies is Old Saurs Catarrh Cure.
Price only 25 cents.
A Business Operation.-Ed Here's
fellow who has sent in his first poem.
Proprietur-Run it in, by all means.
He is sure to buy hundred copies to
send to his friends. Bdzdr.
The rev president of the Argentine
Republic was formerly a newspaper man.
Once year or so even newspaper man
for, cts the duty he owes to himself and
his profession and goes wrong.-DetrOit
Free Press.
Economy: 100 Doses One Dollar"
Merit peculiar to itself.
Purity: Hoods Sarsaparilla.
First EdItor-I think you had lots of
assurance to steal my new joke, bodily.
Second EditOr-NO assurance at all, my
dear fellow. 1t was only a matter of
business; stolen jokes should always be
new ones.-Terds Cartoon.
No one doubts that DIR. Sage's Catarrh
Remedy really cures Catarrh, whether
the disease be recent or of long standing,
because the makers of it clinch their
faith in it with a $500 guarantee, which
isn't mere newspaper guarantee, but
"on CALI in moment That moment is
when you prove that its makers can't
cure you. The reason for their faith is
this DIR. Sage's remedy has proved it
self the right cure for ninety-nine out of
hundred cases of Catarrh in the Head,
and the Worlds Dispcnsary Medical AS
sociation can afford to take the risk of
your being the one hunlredth.
The only question ls-are you willing
to make the test, if the makers are will
ing to take the riskP If so, the rest is
easy. You pay your druggist 80 cents
and the trial begins. If you're wanting
the $500 you'll get something better-d
cure!
A Joke that Failed.-Newspaper Man
lat new place.: Well, John, are your
eggs of the latest edition?
John with asperity)-Wc never has no
crittercism on de eggs, sab.
Newspaper Man-So? If they are as
fresh as you are they don't deserve any.
Judge.
A Decision of Great Importance.
The renowned physician, and special
ist in the cure of nervous and chronic
diseases, DR.. Greene, has decided to give
consultation free to the sick by letter.
DR.. Greene is the discoverer and prOprie-
tor of the worlds famous remedy, Dr.
Greene's Nervura, and the Doctor him
self is no less famous as the most sue
cessful physician i'll the world in curing
sufferers from disease through letter cor
respOndence.
You have the privilege of writing him
a description of your case, or sending
for his question blank to fill out. He
II I, Il, n,,I al,r;nn f,.aa
As he makes a specially of treating pa
tients at distance by mail, there is no
doubt that he can and will cure your
case. 1t will cost you nothing to write
and get his advice, and we should advise
you to do so, as it may lead to your re-
covery.
Managing Editor-I don't see why we
had so many unsOld copies returned to-
day. With three bank cashiers skipped,
two murders and a double suicide, not to
mention the leader on the tariff, l
thought it was very good number.
Sporting Editor-But you must re-
member it rained yesterday and there
was no ball game.-SOciety.
The children's health must not be neg
lected. Colds in the head and snuffies
bring on catarrh and lung affections.
Ely's Cream Balm cures at once. 1t is
perfectly safe and easily applied into the
nostrils, 1t also cures catarrh, the worse
cases yielding to it.
1t is dangerous to tamper with irritat-
ing liquids and exciting snuffs. Use
Ely's Cream Balm, which is safe and
pleasant, and is easily applied. 1t cures
the worst cases of catarrh, cold i'll the
head and hay fever, giving relief from
the first application. Price 80 cents.
He Felt Neglected - Editor of the
Grasstown (Kentucky) Weekly Col1juice; /;
Major, there are lot of illicit stills
around this district, and / think, sab, we
shall have to show them up.
Assistant Editor - Why, Colonel,
didn't know you considered moonshin-
! ing to be much harm!
Editor-No, sab, don't; but confOund
them, they've never sent me single demi-
John as present.-LigM
A Baby savedi
Since birth my baby had running sores
all over his head, and the doctors said
that he must die, for they could not heal
them. l used everything ever heard of,
but it was no good. He got so bad that
he would not nurse. My husbands sis.
ter told me to try Sulphur Bitters as she
had great faith in them. | used bottle
and the sores commenced to heal. After
using two bottles more, the sores all
healed and l considered my badly saved.
Mother, Concord, N. III.
The editor who saw lady making fol
the only empty seat in the car found
himself crowded out to make room fol
more interesting matter"
1t Would Be Loss of Time.-Scrib
bier: I've just published another novel
: johnson. You ought to lose no time
reading it. :.
Johnson-Thanks for the hint, old
man. I'll be careful not to read it,
West Shore.