Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1890-01-18
Calling a Boy Up in the Morning,

If you want your boy to get up by
eight o'clock you will be obliged to
commence operating on him by six. A
boy never begins to sleep in earnest
until it is time to get up. Over night.
you must tell him that it is absolutely
essential to life, liberty, and the pur
suit of happiness that he should get
up by eight o'clock, and make him
understand that his honor is at stake.
Then set the alarm clock right by
his head, and wind it clear up, so that
when it goes off at seven, next morn
ing, the whole neighborhood will hear
it, and think there is q fire some
where.
In the morning, after you have
cleared your throat, you can begin to
call your boy. The earlier you start
out at it the more vocal exercise you will
get.
When you have yelled up the stair
way all that you feel that you can, go
up stairs, and fire away at him from
the hall. Then, cheered and inspired
to fresh efforts by his resounding snore,
open his chamber door and shake him.
and poke him up, as the keeper does
the animals at the menagerie. If you
work with will, and your hands are
moderately cold, you will probably at
the end of half an hours hard work,
elicit the sleepy inquiry:
What's wanted! Who's-a-want-
ing-me-to-get up this time of
night "
And your boy will sit up in bed and
rub his fists into his sleepy eyes, and it
would take an hours hard work to
make him understand that he is the
same boy who was warned over night
to be on hand at eight this morning.
He will give up the attempt to rub
open his eyes in despair, and sink back
again among the pillows, and if you
mean to conquer, you have got the
whole business to go over again.
There are some very curious facts
about boys who cannot wake up in the
morning facts which go to show that
science has not vet succeeded in ex-
planning everything.
This same boy of whom we have been
writing, will get up on the morning OF
July 4th at one o'clock, and nobody to
call him! 1t is Just as easy as sliding
down hill. He will get up to go fishing
with Bill Jones at any hour Bill may
name. He is always up In season to
see his big sisters beau take his depar-
ture on Monday morning about cock
crow.
He can get up and get ready to go on
the train which leaves at seven a. m,
when there is a circus in prospect.
He is an early riser when he so wills
it, but on other occasions you might as
well try to wake up the sentinel on the
soldiers monument on your village
common.
And his mother will excuse him, and
tell her next door neighbor whose boys
are all girls, that poor Willie works so
hard at school, and grows so fast, that
he needs all the sleep he can get, and
it seems to be a shame to wake him up
to eat breakfast with the family.
And so Willie is left in bed till he
sees fit to get out of it, and the break
fast-table stands, and the kitchen girls
temper is spoiled, and so are the muf-
fins and the baked potatoes; and when
Willie grows up and gets a family of
his own, he will try his wife's temper,
and he viii set the bad example of uu-
punctuaIity to his children.
So, therefore, we say to him: Willie,
get up the first time you are called. p
Kdts Thorn, in NetO York Weekly.
THE more people become wrapped
up In themselves the colder they