St. Landry democrat., 1890-02-01
Telegraph Blunders.
MISTAKES, SERIOUS AND FUNNY, IAT
l. MESSAGES.

"Get rid o. Emma at once; exposure i'm
minent." lch were the contents, start
ling and unexpected, of telegram opened
by the wife of one of our city me- duriI
his absence. How many signs and tears
how much doubt and anguish resulted
an with what difficulty and persuasion
izcredulity was overcome and confidence
.estored, who shall tell? Suffice it thai
tears gave way to laughter when it wa
explained that Emma" was the name OF
big mine in America, and the mysterious
message only a hint to sell out shares II
that notorious undertaking.
There was no blnndar, teleglaphic OF
| otherwise, in the transmission Of the above
message, but it will serve rs an example
of the ambiguity of the modern business
telegram. Nine out of ten of the messages
passing to-day between business house
are so abbreviated, 50 full of techni al
terms, as to be an absolutely unknown
language to any one outside the particular
| business concerned.
There Is no occasion whatever to con-
denim this practice; indeed, e manifold
advantages secured by the Use of abbreyi-
ated or code kilograms, F. ncipally as re-
CARDS economy and secrecy, immeasurably
outweigh the disadva~ tages of occasion y
MISUNDERSTANDING It. must, however, t
admitted that slight Geographic blunder
which would not affect the sense of a
plainly wordel message, might entirely
obscure or a. .er the meaning of an abbre-
waited or ambiguous one. The person
who dis atched the comforting assurance,
''made all right" could not, of course,
| foresee that the failure of two little
signals would transform his message into
the alarming statement, mad all night
| but the economist who condensed the same
| meaning into the word 'settled," could
not loudly complain that the message as
delivered con aimed tho unmeaning aad
somewhat irritating word ''nettled."
A few years ago message was received
at certain town in the north of England
addressed THE Chief Baconstsble." I'm
fortunately the contents afforded no clew
to its destination, and after going round
to all the bacoEfactors in town, it was re
ported as undelivered." Speedily came
the corrected address, 1.-The Chief Consta-
ble." In this case the hyphen between
the two words being badly signaled was
translated 'ba' and tackled on to the next
word. This faulty signaling, or. as it is
technically called, "bad spacing" is an
other fruitful source error. In conjunc-
ton with badly written letter, it pro-
duced the address Mice Tavern" instead
of "Eiiter Tavern" and in transmitting
the report of lecture on 'PoetrY," made
the lecturer refer with enthusiasm to
: ;he tender melody of CATS which should,
it is scarcely necessary TO add, have read
'Keats" Another lecturer, dealing with
the Growth of Happiness had the title
converted into the "Groans Of Happiness"
"a somewhat peculiar error, but one well
within the bounds of possibility.
The well known refreshmenr caterer in
Manchester received an order from q
school manager for 400 beans. This order
he transferred to green grocer, and it was
only on enquiry being made as to the real
quantity required that an error was dis
covered The original order was for 40H
buns A student anxiously awaiting the
result of the examination, was not relieved
from suspense on receiving telegram con
tanning the words FIRST or last" Luckily
a repetition of the message corrected this,
substituting the gratifying intelligence,
"frst on list" A gentleman telegraphed
to his servant: "Get NE good seat theater
to night" and was not very we'll pleased
on his arrival to find an orthodox theater
During a meeting of the British Associa-
ton some years ago sermon was preached
by reverend savant. The preachers
text as reported by the telegraph, was
taken from the ''Aces of the Apostles"
and one of his sentences read: 1.-The
soups of Just men, made perfect"
Who has not heard or read of the party
telegraphing for his coat and receiving a
cow, or of the gentleman absent from
home informed of the birth of a box
Here are, however, other versions of these
cases, rather more circumstantial, although
probably not more authentic. A reporter
absent from home on business wired for
his new coat. Reply: "Wnat do you
mean by neat COW? Don't understand
your message"
1t is, however, in dealing with press or
newspaper work, in which the dangers of
indistinct writing are enhanced by the sys-
tenn Of authorizations used by reporters,
that the great ma orlty of Geographic
blunders are committed. Fortunately, in
deed, is it that there stands between the
copy and the public the all knowing, long
suffering sub-editor, else would the news
paper hold a lower place in the world than
it does to- day. What, for instance, would
be thought of the paper which, publishing
a well known politicians speech, closed it
with the extraordinary words: ''All
things comes to the man with warts y or
of the sporting print which allowed it to
become public that Lama would not run
at Newmarket, as she was touched in the
mind"
The telegraphist engaged during big
cricket match had perhaps some excuse
for describing the pause for refreshment
as 'the luncheon internal instead of Gin
terval ;" but what can be urged for the
man who, in the middle of a prosaic pro-
vision market report, alleged that "well
curled hairs not over fifteen pounds
weight realized good prices p 1t cost the
press man an extsa thought TO discover
that "weli cured hams" were the articles
reported on.
Not many months ago prominent party
leader, speaking in the provinces, men
toned by name a number of local gentle.
men, praising them for their zeal and in
dustry in the cause, adding, as an en-
phasis: 'These are ali friends, old well
known friends" What would have been
the feelings of the speaker or of those
mentioned had the report appeared in the
exactly as it was telegraphed-
that is, 'tThese are all frauds, old we'll
known frauds!" In describing horse
race, the reporter wrote. rather indistinct-
ly, it is presumed: 'The favorite made
all the running, and wen by two lengths"
The telegraphist who signaled the mes
sage was evidently not of sporting
turn" as the best he eonld make of it was:
''The favorite made all the winning, and
ran by twilight" Another description
was: "The pair ran together to the dis
lance, where Avon Belle got in front, and
eventually won, after good race, by a