Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1890-04-30
MONEY AND MARRIAGE.
Can the Young Men of To-day Af-
ford Matrimony?

l.
and things are nos rs they used to be, ="
writes Mrs. Frank Leslie in the Pitts
burg Dispdtch. In those good old days,
which | for one am very glad ended be-
fore began, the standard of social life
was far simpler. less expensive and less
burden=ome than is ours. The you &
wife provided herself with Cotton
gowns and big aprons and went into
her kitchen daily, not simply TO hold up
her skirts in one Jeweled hand and
daintily point the other at this and
that She took hold of her housekeep-
ing literally with both hands, and t e
dainty and elaborate cooking of the Ii
dies of that day remains unTivaled by
the hired service of day, even though n
one subsidies a chef at ten thousand a
year and piano.
And the thrifty young housekeeper
didn't need an army of servants, so
that an income of $4,000 or 5000 sup
ported many even of the ''best famI
lies.''
But all this has changed, and nova
days many mothers remark. aS | heard
one remark complacently not long ago:
MY daughter does not know whether
the dressing Is put inside of a fowl or
grows there" l am not saying that
the bride of to-day is less commendable
than the bride of fifty years ago; she
knows a great deal of what tina. sweet
creature was ignorant; she is, perhaps,
better trained to he a companion and
sympathizer with her husband; she
knows more of the world and of hu-
man nature, and is very likely either as
wise or wiser than her predecessor; but
she is not housewife. and can neither
perform the duties of one nor instruct
anybody else how to do them.
And the modern brides Deficiencies
-,e expensive deficiencies, SO the wise
man makes provisions for the future
The trouble has gone so far that the
young man cannot afford TO marry.
And while the natural attraction be
tween the sexes continues, and young
men are as eager TO make love TO young
women as they used TO be, it is not
and, poor fellows, cannot be-with the
same sIngls-mindedness. They ST II feel
that they should like to make this or
that girl their wife. but they know very
well that they cannot, and that, more
over, they must be very careful not 10
commit themselves 10 any such course,
lest they should be held to 1t by stern
papas and belligerent b;others. What
is the consequence? Why, that they go
Just as far as Is safe in love making and
there stop, oftentimes leaving the poor
girl utterly bewildered and uncertain Of
their meaning.
OF course this course is not only dis
rressing to the woman, but demoraliZ
ing to the man; the honest instincts of
his heart try to assert themselves but are
crushed down, not 50 much by wisdom
as by cunning; the heart grows false
significant of loneliness, OF the need of
sympathy, of the charm of meeting one
who can understand, and a thousand
other pretty phrases, but it never
speaks the few plain English words
that offer all man has and is to the
woman OF his cho ce.
| do not suppose men, or at least
every man, is conscious of pursuing
this course, but how is gIrl to know,
for there are still men who can afford,
or Will afford, to marry, and whose at
tentions are as sincere and full of pur-
pose rs all mems used to be in the old
timer How shall the g,rl know, or how
shall heI mother know for her, whether
the man who shows his admiration in a
thousand ways. but his intentions in
none, Is a genuine aspirant or a honey
bee desirous OF storing up sweets tor
the dark, cold days Of lIfe's winter, or
merely a butterfly, lowering and sip
ping and waving gorgeous idle wings in
the summer sunshine, but doomed to
perish in the first adverse wind?
Well, there is no rule like that OF two
and two make four, that can be laid
down, and for one reason, the man
often does not himself know his inten-
tions. Girls have changed as We'll as
men since the good old honest days,
and a wise man before closing any bar
gain likes 10 be sure of his ground, a1d
before paying down such a price as
himself he likes TO know just what
value received" means 1t isn't at
all a pleasant idea that a girl is being
viewed as if it were a question of Il
horse or a yacht, and these dear men
are after all so transparent that they
seldom can carry through such a pro-
ceeding without being discovered in
tins III gallant attitude of mind, it is
pretty certain proof that he has serI-
Gus Intentions.
Then l think there is a certain true
and loyal tenderness in the manner of
the bee that tile butterfly lacks, and a
certain flavor of respect and Difference
in his attentions and pretty speeches.
Thus the marrying man will not lie
likely to lead the girl who may become
his wife into questionable frolics or ris-
que adventures; he always feels respon-
sible for her good name, while the but
tarhy is only thinking of his own
amusement. The marrying man VIII
s Ieak of his mother and sisters, and,
If they are living, try TO promote an
acquaintance; or if the mother is a dear
memory he will very likely seek sympI-
thy from the young girl he believes IN.
Also her family will be subject of iu-
terest 10 the man who is goirg TO make
II his family-in-law, and he may be
found studying the dispositions and
manners of its members. while the but
tertiy looks upon them with uufeigned
indifference; or simply as obstacles To
his flirta;ions-
There are a few of the indications
which have bserved OF Il mans at
tentions in these conventional days,
bat, after all, the surest touchstone i,
one not so easily defined. AMI that il
that delicate and Intuitive perception
with which most woman are endowed,
a sort of glorlied instinct, quicker,
sutt,er and more reliable than mans
boasted reason. She IS herself inter-
terested in him, she rarely fails to
place him just about where he belongs.
and sometimes sees what he means and
what h. wants before he Knows it him
self.
In that case she either delIcately
leads HIM on to say what lie has to say
or as delicately shows him that 1t is
useless; OF, if he is simply amusing
himself, she occasionally makes him
feel in the end that the amusement has
not all been on his side There are few
things that make butterfly more
humiliateI than discovering that he
has been seen through, has served as