Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1890-07-18
THREE TIMES AND OUT.


his beloved hearers with few remarks on
the life, character and death of old Ander-
son Lipscomb, who calmly surrendered to
the demands of the great high sheriff of
Death just forty three years ago yester
day.
Recently, Simeon j. Boyle, a circuit rider
of the old school, was appointed by confer
ence to take charge of the Black Sulphur
Springs circuit. He was known as pow
erful agonizer, a man who could raise the
soft hair of luxurious skin into the stiff
bristles of fear
The day after Boyle had arrived in the
neighborhoOd of his new charge he was
called upon by Wigs Bailey. Wigs is
a well known character of the community
a man of untrembling nerve, of strong
arms, an appetite that had never been
known to fail.
What can do for you = the preacher
asked, when the visitor had introduced him
self.
"Jes called to pay my respecks an to tell
you that Of you ever need my sarveses jes'
call on me. ! 'preciate the position you
hold as a worker for the Lord an want
er ask favor of you"
IAN right, brother
"a want you to preach for the funeral Of
in YOUR life-died about ten or fifteen years
ago Great big fellow. Whipped old Os
car Miles once, and Os' was a pioneer in
the land can tell you. Now you preach
his funeral an | will make it all right with
you"
Il will do it, brother. What was the
cause of his death y
Lack of lickeT.'
What, was he so addicted to the use of
liquor that when it gave out aud he couldn't
get any more he died.
"Oh, no, he was never much of "A hand
to drink"
Then how did he die ON account of the
lack Of liquor I"
"Why. he was bit by a rattlesnake an
as he didn't have no lcker he Jest natchul
ly dedi'
"And you want me to preach his funer
al I"
YES, an you kin get in some powerful
work when you get down inter the facks
Of his lyin' thar sutferin' fur ticker. You
kin fetch the tears outen mighty nigh ev-
err eye in the house"
81 see but description of his death
no matter how vivid, will not be enough.
Tell me something of his life.
"Wall, he was the powerfullest feller in
/
a handspike than any man bout here.
"But what were his strong points y
"Rasslin, brother, rasslin' with the
ketch as ketch can rule"
"But had he not some moral quality y
"Oh, yes He didn't swear 'cept when
he couldn't help hisself. D."
"Well, | will do the best | can. Will
next Sunday do p
YES suits me all right Tharll be a
big crowd out, specially as this is yure fust
appearance, an want you to paint Ike as
bright as a rose"
"Yes," said the preacher, scratching his
head "I'll do that Your brother was a
-a-popular man, was he y
Poplar as a basket of ginger cakes at a
county fair.
AN right, brother. III be ON hand
next Sunday"
The house was crowded on the following
Sunday Wigs took a seat near the pull
pit and, taking out an immense handker-
chief-it must have been the half of a ia
BILE cloth-made himself appear as a man OF
deep seated sorrow The new circuit rider
preached powerful sermon-he painted a
pathetic picture of a man wallowing on the
ground, wringing his hands and crying in
agonized voice "Licker oh, bring me
ticker, or | will perish.
After services were over Wigs shook
hands with the preacher and then, break
ing down under the weight of his emotion
wheeled about and disappeared in the
woods.
On the following Saturday Wigs called
on the preacher again. 1--WE come, sale
the visitor, when the minister had shaker
hands with him, "to tell you that not only
me, but everybody is delighted with th'
Brother Ike sermon.
81 am highly pleased to hear it.
mot at all. Say, I've got another favo
to ask"
"What is it, brother =
II want you to preach the sermon of m!
brother Ike again next Sunday"
"Why, that wouldn't do at all. "
"Why not =
Because | preached it last Sunday"
Brother, let me tell you that | com
mighty nigh ruunn' this here community
put five of the main logs in that churc
you preached in last Sunday, and unles
you preach Ike's funeral again next Sun
dav, wy, I'll take the logs that b'long t
me an split EN- up for fire wood. Oh
: don't YOU think the folks will take you
part They know me-know it won't do t
fool with me. What do you say :"
"Oh, rather than have any trouble
brother, will do as you suggest.
"Will you make it as powerful as tn
other one was Z"
, 81 will try, said the preacher.
| IAN right mind that you do try"
Z The next Sunday the people were some
3 what surprised to hear another sermon o.
81 the virtues and graces of Brother Ike, bu
s no objections were raised. Wigs wa
e again deeply affected, and again with ovel
! powerng emotion he disappeared in tn
4 woods
g Early on the following Friday mornin
S the preacher was surprised to receive al
S other visit from Wiggs.
+ 'What can do for you this time, brotl
= er :" the minister asked.
o "Nothin' only TO preach the funeral
o my brother Ike next Sunday"
y "Absurd, exclaimed the preacher. :
= have set up the sermon twice and thin
l. that have done my duty"
n Look here Cap'n-call you Cap'n eau
Won are bout to 90 inter "a war-my brot
er Ike has been lyin' thar for ten or tiftee
years with nary funeral sermon till d
other day, while lots of old fellers, tn
e never done nothin' fur the country hl
more funerals than they knowed what to
~ with, so think it's time fur Ike to have
iG chance Hear me I"
u ''I hear, but do not hearken. The ia
that your brother has been neglected is
% fault of mine, There are hundreds of m'
&c that never had funeral, but am l to
,e held responsible Z"
10 10 "In regard to other folks, no in rega
Is to Ike, yes"
" " ''But refuse to preach his funeral again
~ ~ can right. I'll wallow you awhile al
70 then IN 90 over and take them logs out
r. the church. Wanter be waller'd I"
!, Il don't want any trouble with you"
. "Then agree TO preach about Ike or
81 give you the wust wallerin' white IN
1s ever seed"
y, Brother"
10 "Goin' to preach that funeral !" I
,'t visitor began TO take off his coat. A d
~ tressed expression settled upon the min
81 ter's face
ba Ua Brother, do not want to have a
a' w trouble with you. | am a man of pes
~ and gentleness.
80 but | aint," Wigs replied IL an
ha snorter from Bar Holler | amt the m
~. ~ that butted the bull oif'n the bridge, bu
IA am the man that rid the bay steer throu
ha the soft ooze of the swamp of despair,
90 YOU don't wauter git that coat dirty, '
IL off with it"
,i 10 Brother, at the risk of displeasing
" people whom il is my duty to please, ! \
preach for you again next Sunday"
itlh th On the following Sunday the people W
still further surprised at the great Writ