, 1890-11-30


be, feels each thrust with smArtint
anger, and the bystanders, although
they laugh and applaud, go away whis
Pering in each others ears: What q
tonguel I'm glad she's not my wifer
And to my mind more girls ave failed
to attract the men whose admiration they
wished through their wit than through
their stupidity. A mans ideal woman
that is, the ideal woman for n wife-is, ]
fancy. never very witty, and in fact may
be decidedly stupid, but invariably she
must be amiable, smiling, sweet, patient,
and in a word comfortable, and these
qualities seldom exist with wit
Another mistaken form OF wit is the
irrepressible, and this is more often
found among men than WHO
does not know him, usually middle aged,
often a bachelor, but sometimes the
product of a course of female adulation
administered by wife, mother and sisters
Conversation with such a person as this
becomes impossible, for he regards what.
ever YOU may say as a mere opening for
his own brilliancy.
II have lost my father since | saw
you" induces the reply:
Hes gone farther but not to fare
worse" or perhaps. Profit and loss !
trust 1t will prove"
know a person of this sort to whom
it is impossible to narrate anything; he
IL 50 busy in looking for an opening for
his w jokes that he cannot follow the
thread Of any story or take a rational in.
'erestin any discussion. l once wrote a
note inviting him to lunch to meet a
stranger, but added. "And please not to
make any puns and very few jokes, as
this gentleman is not capable of appre-
ciating humor, and might think himself
insulted."
Another mistaken humorist is he who
appreciates his own jests more than any.
body else does, and begins by saying:
I'll tell you the funniest thingl You'll
just die of laughing" and laughs so i'm
moderately himself that you can hardly
gather what he says, and feel much
more like yawning than smiling.
The most successful manner Of testing
is the unconscious. and nobody ever
made me laugh SO much AS a long, lean.
sallow. lantern jawed western man, who
used 10 SIT looking as II he were at his
mothers funeral, and In a low, monoto-
nous voice without n smile in it tell sto-
AAI' aoooAhASA9 bAAAAAA III AutE IulTlu
compelling quality.
Two most Objectionable forms Of hui
NOR are the indicate and the p~rofane.
and am happy in believing that thes.
are largely going ont Of fashion among
decent people, OF. ut any rate, in the pres
ence OF people of another turn of mind.
No matter how funny such n Jest or
such a story may be, II Is emphatically n
mistaken form OF wit, and for one al
ways feel that 1 har > received an injury
by having an association Of ideas forced
upon me which ! may never be able to
forget, and by which things that | might
reverence or admire. or matters of which
have hitherto taken 40 thought, become
subjects OF annoyance and modification.
Tor no woman wishes TO understand, or
70 appear to understand, a double enfe,,
DIRE. aud 10 force her 70 do so Is both an
insult and an injury.
Another odious form of humoris what
college boys call hdzbi0, and consists in
the united attack of a certain number of
persons upon n solitary victim. There
are persons whose livus are made a weari.
ness and a burden to them through this
kind of persecution, who never can get
oh9 hNA1 " AAfaA AhtAl rtilDuoll MnO Nlt
in the position of Victor Hugo's L HomBle
qua Rit. and icy open their mouths on
the most solemn or tender subject with
heing greeted with derision and jo-
cose replies.
This form of humorous persecution is
often seen in families where all seem to
have tacitly agreed to make some one
member the butt of all the rest, and |
have often been present at scenes that
reminded rue of n pack Of terriers wor-
rying n poor puss unable either to escape
or TO defend herself. OF course it is "all
in FUN" and not ~maliciously intended,
and probably IL the victim were seriously
Ill or in great visible afliction the ter.
rier would become sympathetic broth
crs and sisters, father and mother, hus-
band OF wife, but until the matter comes to
some such issue nobody guesses the pangs
of humiliation, anger. wounded feeling
and even growing hatred that a long
course Of mistaken wit can induce in its
object.
have quoted the father whose sons
used IRISH" as a synonym for stupid,
Ounce, or laundering, and l also knew a
wife and mother TO whom nature had
been unkind in inducing an enormous
bulk and unwieldy figure. Her husband
was u witty man, and his two daughters
inherited this talent as well as q slight
and elegant figure. Nodoubt they were
fond of the mother, who was on her part
blindly devoted TO them, but one could
hardly pass an hour in their society with
out hearing some jocose allusion to her
~pecuharities. Sometimes She was called
Jumbo" and asked IL she could pick
up needles and hated t%ailors, and some.
times Barnum's fat lady and sometimes
''Hippie. " as short for hippopotamus. II
the family went to drive there was al
ways a jocose discussion as to the safety
Of the carriage springs and the cruelty
TO the horse.
II she was to go in a boat there was
an cutlery that she must be put in the
middle, OF plenty Of ballast taken in to
counterbalance her weight, or a wonder
II the sheathing Of the boat would stand
such pressure; in fact, the manner and
forms of gibe were manifold, but an
came to the same end, and in spite of
great self control and dignity on the
part Of the sufferer, | have too often
seen the sudden flush, or the compressed
lips, or the g~listening eye, 10 doubt
whether the family victim felt her posi-
ton or not. At last the father died, and
it was observed that the widow did not
o as one utterly broken hearted,
and also it WAS observed that she found
her companies and her occupation as far
as possible from her daughters. Prob
ably the wittiest of strangers would not
consider it appropriate to Jest her upon