davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1890-08-21

ment's pause Jack raised his rife to his
shoulder.
Hold on. Jack, whispered Reggie.
you promised me-"
A sharp click of the hammer told that
the rife had missed -.
Quick, Reggo," enc from Jack, -Oan
you see him?"
Yes, gasped the hunter dude. nerv-
ously, Il can see his antlers."
We'll, rake him back of the shoulder, "
The sharp crack of the rife rang
through the forest.
4Is he DOWN." asked Jack.
mol"
Give him another, between the eyes!"
J., Again and again Reggie's rife woke
the echoes.
Hes caught by the horns, I think,
cried Jack, as he made a break for the
spot where the buck was standing, fol-
lowed by Reggie and Sinclair.
What COMPOUNDED fools we are!" NUT
tered Jack; here we've been firing at
som ebody's stuffed deer's head.
Reggie looked on in speechless sur
prise. Sure enough, there against q tree
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1890-08-21

An eccentric old gentleman recently
knocked out a whole graduating class
in Western college. He got the boys
together, the day before the commence
ment, and told them that he wOuld
give $40 to every man who would an
swer correctly two plain, everyday
questions. The questions were as fol-
lows: What is the origin Of the com
mon phrase, "to hope against bopeg'
And, Why is the human ear shaped as
it is, instead of being fat? Not a man
answered the questions correctly, and
the old gentleman went away declaring
that colleges are a failure.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1890-08-21

TIE celebrated German remedy for
burns consists of fifteen ounces of the
best white glue broken into small pieces
in two pints of water and allowed to
become soft; then dissolve it by means
of water bath and add two ounces of
glycerine and six drachms of carbOlic
acid continue the heat until thoroughly
dissolved. On cooling this hardens to
an elastic mass, covered with a shining
parchment-like skin, and may be kept
for any length of time. When required
for use it is placed for a few minutes in
a water bath until sufficiently liquid
and applied by means of a broad brush.
It forms in about two minutes a shin
ing. smooth, flexible and nearly trans
parent skin.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1890-08-21

Thus the Louisville Jour
nal answers an inquiring subscriber
The suppositi0n among newspaper
proofreaders that Miss Susan B. An
thOny is a sister of the late Mark An
tony, of Rome, has led to a frequent
error In spelling the name of the
Roman leader. While Miss Anthony's
name is always spelled with an b, her
supposed brother used no his what
ever. At least, none can be found in
his name on any Of the hotel registers
of his day. The b In Miss An5hony's
name may be merely 8 bit of feminine
affectation. Mark Antony's name
should no more be spelled with an b
than 6smsOn's should appeaz With 8 2.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1890-08-21

was ~sOmeTfUn IN pounding on the thin
board ,1door with your boOt-jack when
YOU wanted hot water for a shave; but to
push an electric button and have q col
,ored waiter with paste diamond come
dawdling along islalmOst too much for
flesh to bear And then to think of
uriuted5 menus in the wild woods. course
dinners, with thin soup and finger boWlsi
I came up here principally TO get away
from thin and WateTy imltRtiOnssOf French
soups, made from the water in which
fowl has been boiled, thickened with
.pinchcof barley and a tomato skin. Is
there no escape from rthe shams Of city
life2 Can't I get away from rump steaks
dubbed rtenderlOin? IL seems not.
fixed my mouth the other day fora plate
of ,oId-8ashioned bean soup, rich and
thick, with luscious bit Of pork floating
in it. Imagine my disgust at having
plate of water and 7bsan meal" set in
front of me.
Well, what do people come up here for,
anyway? TO get away 'front.' the wicked
ness of the world, to mediate upon their
sins, to drink spring water and play
checkers and backgammon? Nothing Of
the sort. People come up here for the
very same reason that they go to Saratoga
or Long Branch-tO get away from them
selves andsget after somebody else. They
bring their guns and pretend that they are
hunting deer So they are. but these
little deer" are in the shape sOf the
daughters Of Eve and may usually be
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1890-08-21
SPARKS OF WIS

ArwO-foorrule: Stand on your own
pins.
A BURNING question-have you e
match?
A LEARNED judge the literary
critic.
A GOOD time for farmers to get in |
their hay is when it rains pitchforks.
you can't eat your dinner and have
it, too, said the sympathetic steward
to the seasick passenger.
IT is not always proper to address
the young man behind the soda faun-
tain as doctor, even though he is a fiz-
Zician.
COLONEL YERGER- Well, how did
you like the picnic? GilhOOly-I was
so glad to get home again that I was
glad went.
MISS De PRIDE-I wouldn't marry
him if he were the last man on earth.
Rival belle-Indeed, you wouldn't. I'd
take him myself then.
MAM1IA-Eow, don't you want TO be
good, Johnny, and go to heaven some
day? Johnny (dOubtfully)-Yes'n but
I'd rather go to the circus first.
@GoNG camping out this year ?"
"No; I camped out last year" Why
don't you camp out this year ?" "I Just
told you. Z camped out last year.
JoHNNY's mother writes; "Do you
think it best to let a boy learn TO
whistle ?" Certainly some day you
may want him to hull the straw berries.
i Young husband-Who is that fellow
you have been chatting with aalI the
evening? Pretty wife-Oh, he isn't
anybOdy-merely one of my old lovers.
STRANDED- eyes, the yacht was com
pletely wrecked; but the captain saved
himself by clinging to the blight of a
rope" "H'm! His bark appears to have
been worse than his blight.
SIARTFELLOw anxious to poke fun
at an old maid) Let me see. It's
long time since we last met, is it not,
Miss Antique? Miss Antique-A very
long time. How well that suit Of clothes
has hung together?
Young husband-My dear, some of
my garments are sadly in need of but
tons. Young wife-Yes, my love, I
noticed that, and have sent for my
mother. She is a splendid hand at
sewing on buttons.
FLORIST (tO committed You want an
appropriate floral design, do you
What was the decedent's business ?
! SpOkesman-He was an attorney. Flor
.ist-HOw would something in the shape
of a Tyre strike you?
"AH, I see you have your son with
you in business. This must make it
! very pleasant for you" eyes, it does.
There is nothing like it. He can take
a few days off at any time, and the
business runs right along. as usual"
FARMER's son-Pa, I'm convinced
that my mission in life is to save souls,
and with your permission I'll begin the
work at once. Old farmer-Well, if
you've concluded to learn a trade, go
ahead. s'pose a sole business is as
good as any!
$50 WHERE there is the most sin,
sir, said the old c1ergyman's coach
man, when asked which of two calls
the dominic ought to accept. The good
man thought over it, and concluded
that where there was most money there
would be the most sin. So he accepted
the call which offered the most sub
.stautiaI salary.
THE SENTIMENTAL LOVER AND THE PRAC-
TICAL MAIDEN.
Come, lst walk love, meath the moon,
Which brightly beams on high,
Enjoy The baImy breath of June,
and list the zephyr's sigh.
would not walk beneath the moon,
However bright her beam;
I'd rather 60 to saloon
And eat a dish Of cream.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1890-08-21

OF woodland manliness which is very
pleasing to a young girl who sees moth
ing but languid, bleached-Out dudes
through the winter. You come to
mountain brook, and one Of these chaps
Will pick up q New York girl in his arms
and carry her across the stream with an
ease that's simply delightful to the one
carried.
Every year the distin guished artist L.
Bridge Queansley, comes to the woods
With his travelling car, his studio on
wheels, in other words. He's a genius,
this Queansley, chOck full Of crankum
notions about tones" and masses and
textures" and high lights" and @grays.
His studio on wheels is as complete as
summer hotel. 1t is studio paFlOr, din
ing-roOm dOrmitory and Photographic
gallery all rolled into one. QueansIey
looks more like keen New England
stOrekeeper than the great artist he is;
but the girls all like him. They feel his
superiority instinctIveIy. His great shib-
bOleth is, Get close to nature" and I
have noticed that he doesn't mind sitting
pretty snug up to handsome girl.
Queansley is usually attended by a sort
Of fEmuIus or familiar spirit by the name
Of Cragton FitZiohn, his favorite pupil
who makes sketches, works the camera
and cooks supper. FitziOhn IS 8 tall
strongly built clean shaver Yankee boy,
with pair of fine, iustEous black ewes.
The girls would like to have him get
close to nature, too, but ~Creg" is gen
eEally too busy and too earnest to trif1e.
Upon returning from s skstching tour
to &heir car yesterday afternoon, they
were OveTtaken by g shower and made
haste to get under cover. Imagine their
surprise upon reaching the door OF their
studio. 60 ind Berthe and Stella, and Jack
Fielding and Win Sinclair, two OF the
haudsomest fellows In this part Of the
woods ip fUIJ possession Of the little
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1890-08-21
Castles in the cir donot bring in any rent
A FORTUNATE OnIC4 0OAN.

Smiled Upon by The Louisiana state Lot
terry Goddess TO the Extent Of s15,O0O
Chicago tIll.) Times, July Il.
The good fortune to-day enjoyed by a
young Chicagoan, W. 3. Spingenberg, a
clerk in S. Schipps' fire insurance agency
at 206 IaSalle street. may have been In the
nature of q reward for persistent efforts, or
it may have been simply one of the smiles
WHICH Dame Fortune so often sheds on Ia
vored residents of the world fairs city Be
it as it may Mr.. Spingenberg in June invest
ed In a one-fortieth interest In ticket Ne.
IS, 843 in the Louisiana State Lottery and
now has 1900 cold, hard dollars to shoE
for it, the entire ticket represented by his
number being $500, 600. When called on by
a Times reporter he was very reticenS as ia
details, but taeitly pleaded guilty to the ex-
tent named. Mr. SpinPenberg is a shaTD
shrewd young business man. and alleadQ
has his newly acquired fortune invested -
good advantage. Riches have by no meas
turned the young mans head, but the une1E.
pecbed possession Of even this little Sis. O5e
has given him an idea of the pleasant trouzt
les thst riches generally bring with shems
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1890-08-21

ALoUIsIANA letter says "The ne
groes haEaR gone wild about the lot
tery,and every one that can read has a
dEeam-book published by the lottery
oOmpanyr giving the number that. be
longs to every conceivable thing from
1 up to 100000, so That when man
dreams, about anything he consuIts his
dDeam7boQk and llnowswhat number to
bux.~"
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1890-08-21
say L"

IT is a singular fact that the most
, densely populated square mile in the
word is not in China, or Belgium, but
! in the city of New York. and that it is
inhabited by two hundred and seventy
thousand people, the largest part of
whom are Italians, who speak their
native Language only and retain their
native customs.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1890-08-21

IFsis stated on the authority of a
prominent Nihilist that there are 5000
deadly torpedoes scattered over Russia
and waiting for a future favorable OPP
portunity to scatter the Gar over the
country. He says that there are 10000
men in. that country who would give up
their lives in a moment to rid the coun-
try of the tyrant.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1890-08-21

IT is reported that P. Il. Barnum,
while in England, % carried on very
secret negotiations with the view of
buying the Shakespeare homestead for
the purpose0f pulling it down and ez-
hibiting itaround the country. He bid
as high as 92,7O for, it., utwhen he
thought he had secured the precious
relic the English government bid 93OO
more, and the negotiations we're. de
clared at an end.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1890-08-21
ADIRoNDACK MOUNTAINS, July, 1899.

EAR by year the rail
roads ar 6 pushing
their way into the
North Woods, and the
long, low, picturesque
b OF els with their
rough, unpain5 9 d
boarded sides, cedar
posts and log steps
are giving place to
pretentious ediices
with all the airs and
none of the comforts
Of the first-clRss hos
teIry of popular sum
raaE reGorfr hara
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1890-08-21

EVERY lobster has his name on him.
Look at one Of his claws when he
comes out of the water. You can see it
Z better then than when he is older and
has been boiled He has his name or
1.-The year he was jhOrn or something al
ways on his claw
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1890-08-21

A BRUTAL German sub-ieutanant
stOOd-swo4d in hand over a private SOL
der and compelled him to keep his
hand in, boiling water over a fire, under
the pretense that it was the doctors
order tOrpemove q confusion. The hand
was empblad for life. He has been in
vaided,and given a pension. of 1925 a
month The inhuman officer. was sent
to pris0ntfor two months.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1890-08-21

THE official report in the German
Reichstag by Commissioner Major
Caede showed that the Russian array,
according to the plan Of mobilization
for 1889, on a war footing, was 2,579,-
900. That of Germany wasSnIy $780,
600 or 100000, Including 177568G
drilled reserve men. That of France
was 3, 226,O and $4,000 drilled res
serve men. Germany had two or three
hundred thousand fewer men then
FraRce. The army Of Austris. with
Hungry, had a war footing Of !, $50, COO,
and that of Italy 1880, GOO. so that the
triple aIhapce powers have 6, 1900 80
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1890-08-21

BEN THOMPSON, City 8IarshaIof Aus
tin, Tex, who was killed in q hand-to-
hand encounter with Kingfsher in a
theater in San Antonio, had the terrible
record of having killed thirteen white
men and over twice that many Mezioans
and Indians. He was a handsome man
Of forty-fve, with small, black mus
stache and ghRzel eyes. His wife had
but one arm. The othe. had been shat
tered by Winchester ball in Denver,
when she threw. it across her husbands
head upon discovering a crouehing
form drawing a bead on him.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1890-08-21

THE following |dnotice' is posted on
3 fence in Morris County, Georgia: "If
any mans or woman's COWS OF oxen
gifts in these heras oats his or her tail
will be cut off IS the case may be. L am
. a Christian man,and pay my taxes, but
IA man. who let's. his critters loose,
say 4"
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1890-08-21
EIrdnass mat Cost.

WiIson-Philson is a man who keeps
his word, whatever else may be said Of
him.
BilsOn-DO you ind him so?
wilson, es; he borrowed IS from nae
a year ago. and he said he'd never forz ct
my kindRsss.
BiIson-And he hasn't2
WiIson-Eo; every time he wants to
borrow mOusy he CONES TO me.-HgrpeT's
BgSgTs
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1890-08-21

The split bamboo fishing rod, hither-
to the very acme of perfection in that
line, now steps down and out TO make
room for the hollow steel rod, which is
much lighter and mach stronger. More
over, no amount of bending VIII make
it lose its shape. 1t remains true, how
ever, that, if, you know where the fish
are and how to catch them, very su-
perier sport may be had without any
fancy outfit. whether of bamboo ,er
steel.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1890-08-21

THE Christian EIalqaLirer speaks OF
certain eminent men. who do the think
ing for thousands of, others. Common
and catchy as this phrase is, it is very
Objectionable. No man, however gift
ed, ever does the thinking for others
unless they are idiots. What he may
do, and often does, is to make people
think of things they would not other
wise have thought of. Americans don't
allow any man to do their. thinking for
them.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1890-08-21

was nailed a fine stays head. big as life.
and quite as natural.
Reggie, you're a dead shot, anyway,
said Jack, pointing to the holes in the
desr's head.
Never mind, b-b-boys, murmured the
dude hunter, the horns viii do for
B-B-Bertie anyway. She won't know the
differences" Lido Lee, 67s Chicago Led
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1890-08-21

@BUT, Bridget, you had better keep
this place, even if the wages are not as
high IS you want. Miss Mary Is three
years old now, and when size Is married
yOu vii be sure to get a handsome
present.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1890-08-21

THERE are sFiE many wolves in
2sFrance, and the. French. government
spends $4,000 per annum toward
q their extirpation.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1890-08-21

WOMAN, heal myself by using DR.. Asa Bucks
w Golden Specific, sure cura for all female
diseases, such as leucorrhOea, whites, ulcers in
hammatiOn, falling Of the womb, enlargement Of
the womb painful menstruation. etc. Do not
fail to try this wonderful treatment. Gail or
write for free sample treatment. 1t costs you
nothing to try it. Large box 81 90 by nail, post
raid. WOOLVERTON BROS, druggists, s34
Kansas Ave. Topeka, Kansas Western Agents.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1890-08-21

TIRED HUMAN BEINGS IN
SEARCH OF REST.

g8rsathine the Eifs-Giving Mountain Air
and Pretending They Are Hunting Deer
ODD Types Of. Character at ths sum
mar Resorts.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1890-08-21

al against the 3, 1895, Oe5 Of Russia ana
France; that is, about 100000 maa
fawer.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1890-08-21

When Baby was sick We gave her Castoria,
When she was Child she cried for Castoria,
When she became Miss, she olung to Castoria,
When she had children SEE gave them Castoria.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1890-08-21

Bunker: 81 never wear the same pair of
trousers for two days without change"
Hill: Neither do 1. always take nine
off at uight.''
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1890-08-21
True Commonwealth Co., Publishers.
1871. 10th St Washington. d @.
I5HT 5EEFTWFE COLLEGE for Young Women.
HlaA ~ AAE Milwaukee Wis For cir
Cular address G. r.. KINGSLEY, PHI. ID. President.

Oilyfellow-''Whatst the matter, Coodfel-
10? You S Cen to be suffering from dyspep-
sia."
GoodfeIlO (sadIy)-''I am. Pm a wreck.
I've heen living in Boston, and under the
laws thereI had to gulp down meal every
time I took drink -
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1890-08-21

JOHN saw his mother making what Is
termed soft soap. His father came in
and inquired what mamma was about.
@She's out in the kitchen making easy
soap" he replied.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1890-08-21

There has neUeT been anything discovered
that viii equal DObbins' Electric Soap for all
household uses. It makes paint look like
new, and clothes as lUbite as s5tOJU. Our
wash-wOman says it is a pleasure to use it.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1890-08-21

Il came high. but they would have
ne, remarked the Texas horse thief Is
tas bays swung him up TO the tslIsgt
tres IN the group.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1890-08-21

j. S. PARKER, Fredonia, N. Y, says:
'sShall not call on you for the 500 reward
for I believe Halls Catarrh Cure viii cure
any case of catarrh. Was very bad Write
him for particulars. Sold by druggists, zoe.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1890-08-21
cALLF0RNLA EIe SYRUP ~.
LOUISVILLE e." EY ."='0'0OD RS III roRE ME
TIE True COnTMONwEALrH

THE True COMMONWEALTH
is the popular organ of the new school of PoIit-
zeal Economy, which demands that all NATURAL
]doNOPOLIEs, such railroads, telegraphs, street
car lines, gas works, Dc, shall be owned and run
by the Nation, States Cities in the interest Of
the people ROYAL QUARTO Monthly, ably edited,
elegantly printed, 81 a year. Three months on
trial for only ten cents. Big discount to agents
and clubs.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1890-08-21

The summer girl is beautiful and a JOY
forever at least for all summer.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1890-08-21

- 'S-~--0 80 - ~ H ~
Both the method and results when
Syrup of Figs is taken; it is pleasant
and refreshing to the taste, and acts
gentlyyet promptly on the Kidneys,
Liver and Bowels, cleanses the svs-
TEN effectually, dispels colds, head
aches and fevers and cures habitual
constipation. Syrup of Figs is the
only remedy of its kind ever pro
duced, pleasing to the taste and ac-
ceptable to the stomach, prompt in
its action and truly beneficial In its
effects, prepared only from the most
healthy and agreeable substances,
its many excellent qualities com.
mend it to all and have made it
the most popular remedy known.
Syrup Of Figs Is for sale In SOC
and 81 bottles by all leading drug
gists. Any reliable druggist who
may not have it on hand will pro
cure it promptly for any one who
wishes to try it. Do not accept
any substitute.
CALIFORNIA FIG syrup co.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1890-08-21

The receiver is as bad as the thief, neither
of them feel as bad as the loser.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1890-08-21

In the business of swimming the man
whose operations are craluped is likely TO 60
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1890-08-21

The general run of women, when a mouse
comes in the house.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1890-08-21

The man who lives dual life wIlkiu him
self sooner or later.
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1890-04-23
WITH The WIS

The girl who jumps the rope is a skip
teal creature.
The lions share of thing is naturally
the main part.
The man who loses is never accused Of
not playing fair.
When factory shuts down the hands
arc rot likely to shutup.
: e ring and letters which a girl re-
turi are slight tokens.
Eve was the first woman to get fali
"sack" if we remember rightly.
Spruce gum costs over dollar pound
wholesale, to those who chews to buy it.
The shrewd girl divides her time be-
tween airing impressions and impressing
heirs.
II is said that a man from the Pine
Tree State can be told by the pitch of his
voice.
Boulanger is French for baker, and
that's why Boulanger is such doughty
General.
~We depend for living upon our corn
crops, remarked the turkey to the CO.
chin China.
When the gates a-jar it is natural that
it should be considered a proper place for
sweet-meets.
1t is not strange that stove manufact-
urers should be fired by ardor for the
CRATE cause.
Speaking about the pulls" which pol
iticianS have, what's the matter with the
pulls the dentists have:
We don wonder that some people who
try to waltz get discouraged. They are
constantly having reverses.
You would certainly expect trained
speakers toarticulate distinctly, but they
all 10 not Look at the brakemen, for
ins ance.
Rev. Lyman Abbott says that "the
women of to-day care not for their do
mestic duties as did their grandmothers.
But they don't have to- Even Rev. Mrs.
LYMAN Abbott don't have to. Rev. Mr..
Abbotts grandfather worked for so cents
per day, slept on straw, lived on pork and
corn, and wore homespun. His grand
son doesn't seem to be following in that
line.