Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1890-10-04
WIT AND HUMOR.
Loi the poor Indian, whose rptutored MIND
Made him shave his whiskers OF TO d~isappoint
the wind.

VIII AND HUMOR.
10. the poor Indian, whose rntutored MIND
Nade him shave his whiskers OF TO d~isappoini
the wind.
Chatter.
or Gil sad words OF tongue or pen,
h saddest are those she utters when
You've tried TO kiss, and trying, missed her
And she says. Go practice on your sister.
what was Noah's wife's namep"
Joan, wasn't itp"-M Y. Sun:
Troubles sometimes come slngly,
after all; all children are not twins
Atchison Globe.
How to catch fish is a study. How
to lie about itcomes natural.-NeD Or
leans hcayune.
The number Is is not so unlucky II
you put a mark like this before il:
b Warrington Post
How high are the White Noun
tainsp" They vary. From IS to SIS
a dav."-N Y Herald.
20. / wish I'd been a man." cried
Mrs. Bjonson. II wish to Heaven you
hadW retorted Mr.. Bjonson. - The
Epoch.
Atlas carried the world on his back
and not in front of him as it Is carried
by great men Of the present dsy.-DaL-
las (2er.) News.
Little Turtle owned Chicago in 1890,
but be had so little snap to him that
the place did not grow much while he
was proprietor. - Courter-Journdl.
THAT man made money Just by
his sand" 'WhatP" Eyes. He's 4
brickmaker ."--St. Joseph (Mo.) News.
A man never, seldom ever, knows
how to Use his own ideas quite as well
as the ideas he has picked up.-DaAas
(7er.) Netos.
A woman a disguise her wrinkles.
debts, and receptions from a man, but
she can never hide them from another
woman. Atchison (Kas.) Globe.
The interesting question IN some cir
Giles is; How can the depositor retain
! his equilibrium when the cashier has
lit out with his balancep-Phlddeipkta
Press.
Don't be hurt at what you think is a
lack of sympathy. The spot on your
nose that looks so big to you is hardly
visible to any one else.-Terre Haute
Express.
Editor-"Your poem contains some
sparkling gems" Idyl (proudly)-
''lndeed" Editor-"Yes, you should
have seen them flash when the flame
caught them."-7he Epoch.
A louisville pie factory Is about to
be established in Washington. There
will be no nine months session of Con-
gress after this factory gets in opera
ion.-AtlantG Constitution.
Talking Shop-Mrs. S~nodgrass-"I
think Mrs. Laker must be from Chi.
cago." Mrs. Snively-"Why?" MIS-.
Snodgrass - Because she says o,
lardr so often."--W West Shore,
David Crockett IS to have a monu-
ment down in Tennessee. This Is a
reward for DAVIS good fortune and
foresight in not being buried in New
York City.-Pihsburg Dispatch.
1t is simple enough to be a great
man; keep your mouth shut, and when
you see a dollar grab it.-Atchison
Globe. Grab it any way and explain
to your constituency later.-NeW Or
leans PicdyuHe.
I'VE sent u young boy to college
writes a German editor, land after
three years hard study he didn't know
how to hitch a mule to a wagon and
couldn't run a straight furrow to save
his life. What are these colleges good
for anyhow"
THE discovery of America in 1892
was a great event, wasn't it pap re.
marked a Congressman's son. Yes,
but it doesn't amount TO anything at
all compared to what some of these
politicians are going to discover in
lS92."- Washington Post
The Senate has put sponges on the
free list. This is like carrying Goals
to Newcastle. No man ever yet spent
an evening with a sponge who does
not know that these persons are aud
always have been IN the free list.-N.
Y. Commercial advertiser.
Einstein - "Didt you hear apout
Cohenp Ven Repecca Sonnesheim
wouldn't marry him, he vent andt took
a kvarter's wort OF morphine. Vat
fools some men are" Minzberger-
Wasn't he, though? Ten cents wort
would hat done der pisness chust as
vell."-7t,re Haute Express.
Bernard Conn, a New Hampshire
farmers man, was scared almost into
commissions while listening to a phono-
graph in Dover, and explained, when
no came to, that he recognized the
voice of a man he had stuck In a boss
trade. Conn, science makes towards
of us all. -PhHadelphia Ledger.
A recent issue Of a weekly paper
published at Colmisneil, Tex. appeared
In rather ragged shape, and the fol-
lowing apology appeared in the editor
ial columns; THE cause of delin-
quency of this Paper, this ishure. Is
that j. II. Hamlin, has been quite i'll
for several days. and disable to do Of
flee work."-Detroit Free Press.
Tansy, mint, thyme, lavender, sweet
brier, sassafl as, sweet fern, sweet
marjoram. and half a dozen other de-
lightful aromatic plants once covered
the square In the garden that is now
devoted to cucumbers, cabbage. and
squash. Maud does not want TO come
into the garden any more until she is
fond of vegetables. - Dallas (Iexas)
News.
At a dinner at which Archbishop
Ryan Of Philadelphia was present, at
Mount Desert, it is narrated Walter
Phelps said in the course of a discus
sion of the Irish question: But you
must admit Bishop Ryan. that many
practices Of the Irish in Ireland to-day
are treason" '.Ah, but treason is
reason in Ireland on account of the alb
sent T." retorted the Bishop.
De Montmorency Smith (hoping, yet
fearing)-''Well, Miss Fitz-Maurice. 1
await your answer" Miss Fitz-Maur-
ice--.I shall have to say no, Mr..
Smith. 1t is possible I might learn to
love you in time. but as an American
young woman who owes a duty to her
country ! cannot consent to become q
member Of the Smith family. II is too
large already Chicago Tribune.
O'Dowd-"But. bedad, the days at
hand. O'Brien, whin thereN be no
tinants in ould Ireland" O'Brien-
AN whin's thatgn O'Dowd-"Whin
the landlords that's there Ia all bshen