The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1890-01-25

marked namely, "Shc'sa spanking young
woman, sir
"She's all that, nephew" croaked out
my uncle. "Shes the very image of her
blessed mother, and look how happy
that woman has made me. Don't you
think you'd like 10 walk out with her,
Nephew Joseph? Don't you think you'd
like to take her TO the Crystal Palacey
said the tempter, my uncle.
cone can't afford to take girls to the
Crystal Palace. uncle" 1 replied, con
thirty shillings a week"
"But suppose ! was to stand Sam,
said my uncle. Joseph, continued my
uncle mysteriously, shes a-puttin' or
her Sunday clothes You wait till you
see her when she's dressed
Here was a horrible situation. My
uncle was about TO propose that should
take the slatternly girl TO the Crystal
Palace in her Sunday clothes, and all the
time I was engaged 10 Sophia; but /
didn't dare to say anything about Sophia
TO my Uncle John.
"That likely girl that's a drcssin' her
self for you, Nephew Joseph, in the next
room, II have 200 golden sufTerings the
day she marries. and I've been saving her
up for you, Nephew Joseph, ever since
my wedding day. There's a s. note on
the mantel for you, Joseph, and there's
a suffering inside. Take her 10 the Pal
ace, nephew, and let me hear you've
squared it between you when you bring
her home. Don't you spare expense,
Joseph; treat her 10 swings and merry
co-rOunds, take her on the switchback
railway; and mind you travel fust class,
Joseph, there's nothing fetches young
girl like travelling fust class. ! was
young myself, once, Joseph" added my
uncle, with a sigh. "She's a real high
stopper is Polly"
There was nothing else for it; had to
express my delight, and as l did so the
real high stopper entered the room. l
shouldn't have known her She was
appalling-that's the only word for it.
"She's q blessed angel said my
uncle with enthusiasm, land the very
image of her dear mother. Heaven
bless YOU, my childrenl Don't be later
than o, Joseph. Good-by, children" he
said. And then l and the real high step
per started for the Crystal Palace.
1 draw q veil over my sufierings at
that place of amusement. Polly chung
to my arm till felt as if we were STA
mese twins; and she made warm love TO
me upon the switchback railroad.
you're the first young man I've ever
walked out with, she said to me ingenu-
ously while the fireworks were going on.
was no philandorer, and / was desper-
ately in love with Sophie; but l couldn't
afford to quarrel with nay uncle, so ]
pretended TO make love TO Polly. i dis
sembled, and made it as like the real
thing rs possible; and when we reached
Araminta terrace felt like the villain
Of a melodrama. Polly opened the door
with a latch key. We went straight mp
to my uncle's bedroom, where the Old
gentleman was still lying in state. If
possible, his room smelt more strongly
than ever Of brandy.
"You're very late, Joseph said my
uncle, reproyingly; "but yOung people
will DO young people. ] was a young
person once"
Ny uncle is getting a little mixed, 4
thought.
GLOW did YOU enjoy yourself, PollyF
croakcd my uncle
cit was just heavenly, mother" cried
the girl; and then the cat was out of the
bag. Here was Polly smothermasquerad.
ingasmy Uncle John. Horrible thoughts
flashed through my mind Perhaps they
had murdered him and buried him in
the coal cellar. 1 seized the poker. ]
shouted "Policew / rushed upon my
supposed Uncle John and seized his long
white beard it, his venerable wig, his
hairy face, his tapped ear and his green
spectacles came away In my hano, anl /
saw a fat. red faced woman, perfectly
bald. and with huge sham eyebrows Of
white hair
"Aint you ashamed OF yolsself, you
young rapscallion, to treat your great
aunt IN TINS way, ana me lone "iuo"i
Oh. Mr.. Joseph" cried the woman, as
Sic bounced out of bed and flung herself
upon ber bIces "Worleybones been
dead these three months and we amt
provided for, and I was doing my bo5t
for Polly, which is my daughter, being
my boundeg duty OBJ, Mr.. Joseph,
spare the widow and her orphan Child
Down on your marrow bones!' cried
the frightened woman to her daughter;
eff it hadn't been for YOU, YOU hussy,
he'd never. never have found me out;
and Miss Polly, de high stopper, drop
ped on her knees at her mo.hcr's side.
OF course ] forgavc them: OF c0urse
came into the $4,000; Of course ! mar
ried sophia, and equally Of course
have never SAL 2 word to her Of the
fearful day at the Crystal Palace with
the high stepping Polly, OF my suos@-
ouent terrific adventure at Araminta
terrace, Hoxton.-6t James Budget.