Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1890-03-20
t,uNcENr PARAGRAPHS.

ne Rrusshe-'sYes, I'm fairly in love
with myw ork." Sinnick-"Lucky lovers
Yourl never have a rival.
1T takes a wise man to answer al OF
\ child,s ouest, sons: but a wise man VIA
never trv to do ,'t-Somerville Journal.
There is a OF Sat movement on the
mart of the anarcl NiGs-when the bar
keeper offers to tr eat to beer.-Troy
Press.
"A perpetual motion machine has nos
vet been invented, but tho tongue OF .
seven-year-old boy asking quessions
comes pretty near it.-S0merx1lle jour.
nal.
-sWhat is the US o that girl bang.
Ing away on the pia no. Maria!
tice, John, Practice makes Periec"
'Perfect what-pande monium3
narae Raxar 50 es-ss-et-2 ss=s kss1sz, =
--Perriwink-"Aw,M Mr.. Hardheaa' -
IL true that cigawettes affec t the o"Sin1
Mr.. Hardhead-''No. Thos VINO nsSe
brains do not smoke cigarette IS.
-Wife-"James, do you now tns'
you are a very small man?" "a usoano-
'.How ridiculous! am nearly SIX rees
in height Wife-"That makes no oAi-
ference; whenever ask you forA noneJ
to go shopping you are always shn u
Boston Gazette.
-Bluffins -''Perfect nonsenseI me
idea of the Bloaters giving themsels o.
airs on account of their ancestry" Muk ,
, gins-"Yes. Why, Clara Bloater tolA
me the other evening that their lineage
could be traced to old castillo" BluAnS
"Bah! She meant Castillo soap. ~
America.
Mrs. Rustler Ito her husband)-"
certainly wish, dear, that you would
keep up appearances more and dress
better. Now look at Mr.. Slasher, who
moves in our set, how stylish he is"
Rustler-s'You forget. dear, that it was
but recently that Slasher failed."-
Clothier and Furnisher.
-"Did it ever strike you that dancing
is sinfnl?' inquired young DR.. Gauche
Of an accomplished young society woman.
''Well," she responded, a reproachful
look in her eyes, when notice the
way some people dance, it does strike
me good deal that way."-Washingto
/, Capital.
| Extracting amusement from misery:
Mudge-'sMy brother bill was in to see
me to-day" Phillips-"I never knew
you had brother" Mudge-"I haven't.
mean the livery bill l incurred the
evening Miss Willets gave me the priv
i ilege Of being brother to her.
Haute Express.
Mime. Chaperone-''Is Mr.. - .
professional man?' Miss Prue-'sI don't
know Nine. Chaperone-"Is he
man of brains?'' Miss Prue-'I don't
| know that either" Nine. Chaperone-
''Why, aren't you acquainted with him?"
Miss Prue-''Yes, but I've met him only
In society. Boston Post.
Young man." said an old gentle
| man to a reporter, do you expect to
follow your present avocation in the
| next world?" 81 hadn't thought of
! that, sir. Why do you ask?" because
,, If you do you can write up glowing &C.
counts of things without being far out of
the way.'-Merchant Traveller.
AT rough estimation.-First pas
senger (standing in car)-''Tm going to
make that man move up and give me half
of his seat" Second passenger-''Go
slow; that's old Specie. Do you know
what that man is worth?" First passen-
ger-'sH pork is eight cents pound,
live weight. should think he ought to
be worth $16 easy enough. Puck.
IA professor of music demands .
higher standard of merit in theater or
chestras- He says: ''The theatrical or
chestra of to-day is regarded by many
managers as sort of device for killing
time between the acts" This may be
true; but SONS orchestras seem to be
m6te In the nature of Q device foE kill
ing thA audience bctween the sca6.A
NoEfistown Herald.