The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1890-09-18
PITH AND POINT.

Domestic fruit-A married pair.
Brought up with round turn-The
,aken bucket.
The man who can keep wide awake
IN tie daytime won't have to do so at
night.
Tramp (overjoyed)-"Found a quar-
teri BY jove, I must really think about
making my will"
The pupils of the professional natator
1T the beach are getting along swim
ningly.--Boston Courier.
You can't always tell the occupants OF
.he starched shirt by the gloss on the
BOSOM Washington Post.
Man cannot fly, but he can utilize the
aight of stairs when he wants to 60 up.
-Binghan,ton Republican.
A school girl in Germany, only eleven
gears old, is six feet tall. She probably
attends the high school.-ABany Times.
81 must distress you," was the re-
mark which the barber made to the wo-
man whose hair he was cutting.-Boston
Post.
There Is no such thing as jealousy In
nature. Even the cross roads become
pleasant when the beautiful trees put
hem in the hade.-Puck.
Husband-uDr. Foote, the chiropo-
list, will dine with US this evening"
Wife-sait right; FL order corned'
1eef."-Mw York Journal.
OF all the tortures known to man
The greatest, we assert,
Is to wear O fifteen collar
Upon sixteen shirt.
Dry Goods Chronicle.
"Your account has been standing
ing time, Mr.. Dukey." "Then give it
seat, nv dear Shears" "Very glad
10, sir; shall we make it a re-ceiptT-
Harper's Basar.
eyes" said Miss Simperton, "l'm aw-
fly fond of trees. I've seen sugar ma
pie and a slippery elm and a weeping
willow, and now I want to see the succo-
tash. ."-Harper's Bazar.
"It is strange the ties that attach US
to disagreeable things at times" as the
dog said to the tin can sequel. "Still, In
ones life such things are bound to oc-
cur. r."-Philadelphia Times.
eThe butcher is at the door,
sir, and says he wants his BILL" How
ard d-"Return the bill to the gentleman,
Mary, and express my regrets at keeping
it so ong."-Munsey's Weekly.
vlsitor-"rve not seen any of you for
ever so long. How is your little brother
coming on, Tommy" Tommy-"First
rate. He can whistle for himself and
wear my pants. ."-7t1as Sytings.
Young Wife-"I want box of sar-
dimes. Are you sure these arc freshF'
Dealer-"Yessum. Caught this morn
ing" Young Wife-"I think you'd
better send two boxes. ."-Mel0 York Sun.
I bounced my stupid valet yesterday,
Because he was the chumpiest of chumps;
He sought my room while was far away,
And blacked aud shined my lovely russell
p -Me,o York Sun.
Mistress (recently "elevated')-"Oh,
Mariap Maid-"Ycs, ma'am." Mis-
tress-''Don't forget to order in some
pink afternoon tea from the grocers. 1
hear it's all the rage in high society. -
american Grocer.
"You lost two legs in the army, you
say-what did you gain byitT asked a
gentleman of q Chelsea pensioner.
Tsingle blessedness, sir" he replied; ;
"for after that no woman would marry
."-London Tit-BitS.
"Did you ever write poetry, Jackr
asked one young man of another. "Weli,"
said Jack, frankly, ~ thought it was
poetry, and she agreed with me, but we
never ventured to submit it to an expert
opinion. ."-!SomeroiAe Journal.
Miss Yellowleaf-"How is it you man
are to have so many admirers, Miss
Greenleaf2 Give me some wrinkles,
won't you?" Miss Greenleaf-''You
could spare few wrinkles better than
can, Miss Yellowleaf. - West Shore.
AS rule
Mans fool;
When it's hot
He wants it cool.