Morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven [Conn.]) 1848-1894, 1890-12-11
THIN.

Tooth -Maud-I have such terrible
pain in one of my teeth, but am afraid to
have it drawn. Cholly-Why don't you
have it photographeds-Smith, Gray &
Co.'s Monthly.
"Papa, won't you buy me bicycles Ny
friend Alma has invited me to join the BIZ
cycle club" 'sSol Well, if you want to
use your feet SO much will buy you
sewing machine. ."-Fliegende Blatter.
A New Version.-Doctor-M dear, sir,
you are all run down; you need a change
of scene. Patient-I guess you're mis-
taken this time, doctor; I'm stage car
penter at the Washington Square thsater.
Puck.
Hicks-How do you like your new neigh
bors, the Woolseyss Mrs. Hicks-She
seems kindly soul; but she has no taste
about her dress. Hicks-What do you
find to criticised Mrs. Hicks-The idea of
a woman appearing in coffee-colored tea
gown,-Harper's Bazaar.
In Big Luck.-Miss Fanny-You seem
to be in high feather, Mr.. Snobberly.
| Snobberly-Ah, Miss Fanny, am in high
| spirits! I've had tremendous luck-al-
| most found four-leafed clovah, don't yer
| know. 1 found one with three leaves,
bah Joves-Texas Siftings.
II
ment. My gun had been discharged and
the tiger crouched before me ready to
| spring. He was not ten feet from me. /
| can't imagine a more terrible situation.
New Yorker-Haye you ever ridden up to
Harlem on the elevated roads-America.
| Sympathetic Visitor-Mrs. A, what
do you suppose makes You suffer soF'
Mrs. Al don't know, I'm sure, and ]
believe nothing but a post-mortem viii
ever show. Sympathetic Visitor-You
poor thing! You are so weak you could
never stand that.-Newport Or. L. Daily
News.
Got the Information-Mrs Hayfork-
Anything for me. Rural postmaster
don't see nothin'. Mrs. Hayfork-I was
expectin' letter er postal from Aunt Sal
ly Spriggs, teliin' what day she was com
in. Rural postmaster calling to his wife
Did We see postal from Mrs. Hayfork':
Aunt Sally, tellin' what day she wa'
comin'l His wife-Yes, she's comm
Thursday.-Broollyn Life.
A Drawback to Genius-'sDid the edi
tor accept your story, dear!" asked Mrs
'sNo," replied Ritter; "rm too great I
genius"
'sToo great genius.'
eyes; the editor said it was so mucl
better than anything else he was printing
that it would be an injustice to his othe
: contributors to put it in."-Chicago Inter
| Ocean.
An appreciative Listener.-Customer-
want some kind of door spring, one tina
won't get out of order. Hardware deale
"A door spring. Customer-Yes, an'
one that won't require the strength of al
elephant to open. Dealer-Hem. Gus
tomer-And vet it must be strong enougl
TO bring the door all the way to, and no
leave it swinging open a couple o
: inches. Dealer-I see. Customer
: And when the door closes 1 don't want
to ram shut like catapult, with jar sha
shakes the house from its foundations
Dealer-Yes; you want one that will brin
!, the door all the way to, and yet do it gent
". Customer-That's the idea. But
! don't want any complicated arrangement
that requires n skilled mechanic to atten
to it. Dealer-No, of course not; yo
want something simple, yet strong an
effective. Customer-Thats the tall
: something that can be put on or taken o
! easily; something that will do its wor
i quietly, yet thoroughly, and won't be etei
}, nally getting out of order. Dealer-I se'
$ l know exactly what you want, sir, jus
y exactly. Customer-Well, show me ont
Dealer-We don't keep door springs
:. New York Weekly.