Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1890-08-28
CURES COLO IN BABIES


of his particular machines.
CURES COLO IN BABIES.
Through the columns of the Fresno E1-
poSitOr we learn how the agent of the Singer
Sewing Machine Company induces the
housewives of Fresno and vicinity to trade
away all other machines for the Singer.
That paper goes on to say: 81. A. Conrad
succeeded 'Chippie' Wilson as the Singer
agent in this city. Conrad is described as a
man of about 40. Like 'Chippie' Wilson,
he had mustache, but it was unlike
'Chippie's, its color being an iron gray.
Conrad was not handsome man, but is
mentioned as being delightful talker'
He was very persuasive conversationalist,
and when he expatiated on how the Singer
would execute a double somersault back
hem, without dropping stitch or breaking
a thread, all the ladies believed him.
Your machine Conrad was in the habit
of saying. is a very fine piece of mechan-
ism, but it has seen its day. The drawers
are beautifully finished; the lock works
well, but it can't essay TO make button
hole like the Singer. No, madam, the
Singer is the button-hole maker. And,
madam, it is entirely nolseless. If you have
child suffering from the mortal agony of
coiic or whooping cough, all you have to
do, if you have Singer, is to start it up,
and the infant will at once be soothed to
seek the arms of Morpheus. Down at
Tulare met woman. She had colicky
baby. To quiet the infant, she used to run
an egg bealer up and down its back. l
persuaded her to buy Singer. She did so,
and now she says she wouldn't be without
the machine for anythingl' Friends, did
you ever have a genuine case of colicky
baby in your house? If you did, and the
al-.r ~.
who would be without the machine? Con-
rad was married man with family, and
of course he knew all about colicky babies.
His discourse on colicky infants brought
him great returns. and Singer machines
came to Fresno in car. load lots. But once
and awhile Conrad. in his peregrinations,
met a married man without issue, and then
Conrad exercised his prerogative as swap
pist. He would trade anything from
machine wrench to bob. Conrad was
lover of home-a believer in the family.
Being a dutiful husband, he wanted his
family well clothed, well groceried, re.
nownly educated. Conrad's methods, or
modus operandi, were as follows: Good
morning, he would say. lifting his hat to
the lady at the door. Good morning. L
represent the Singer Machine Company
We have the finest machine that ever
worked. 1t is the ne plus ultra of all ma
chimes. 1t beats the Domestic lays over
the Wheeler & Wilson, paralyzes the Howe,
knocks the White out in the first round,
skunks the Queen and goose-eggs the Buck
eye in the first innings But | have a
very good machine. 1t is cheap instru-
ment but as our family is small il answers
very we'll. don't care to buy this morn
ing. Good day, SIR But interposes
Conrad, your husband is merchant-a
grocer?' Yes Well, l have family,
| and groceries are just the same to me as
cash. / am willing to give you the Singer
in exchange for your machine, you giving
me the difference in trade between the two
aud S. cash. The lady says she will see
her husband. Conrad will not take No
for an answer. / have, says he, one of
the latest Singers in the wagon. / will
bring it in and let you see it work Before
the lady can say no, Conrad is out into the
street, has the machine on his back and is
bringing it into the house The lady
admits him. and. as the comedian says in
the play, there you are.' The lady is de-
lighted with the machine-as all women
are with a new piece of furniture. She
tells her husband when he comes home
what the agent said he would do. Pater
familias advises her to take the machine
under the conditions offered by the
agent, AMI she does so, giving her
machine, valued at SIS, S. in cash, and a
run on the grocery for sugar, canned corn
beef and chu.ney. Conrad called on a
Blackstone-avenue lady who devotes some
time to art. No. she said incisively, |
don't wish for any of your machines. l
have very good one now, end as my fam
ilv is small it answers all of my purposes
But, be said, twisting his iron gray mus
tache, will make it an object for you to
exchange My sewing machine suits me,
and l don't care to exchange Conrad in
sisted. He had wife and daughter whose
education had been sadly neglected. He
wanted them instructed so that they could
appreciate painting by Boulanger. Bou-
gereau, LIE Febvre, Fleury, Pelous and
Messonier when they saw it IN q bookstore
on Market street. The woman declined to
have anything to do with the machine
agent. But Conrad kept coming. He
pleaded earnestly for his wife's and deugh-
ter's advancement. The lady finally con-
sented to give them painting lessons until
the difference in price between her sewing
machine and the new Singer was hquida-
ted. She also gave the agent SIS in cash" ~