Iuka reporter. (Iuka, Miss.) 1888-1894, 1890-11-27
COURTING TWO GIRLS.
Kate Thorn Has Something to Say on THAI
Subject.

SuQJcCts
1t takes quite smart man to court
two girls at once, and do it successfully.
Where the fun comes in, we do not I'M
derstand; perhaps, because we have
never been q man, and counting two
girls at the same time.
The man who dc @, this, must be very
circumspect and careful, or he may get
things mixed. Minnie's picture may be
worn when he visits Laura. and Uicd
oerSd, if he be not careful. The lock
of fair hair may be brought to the front,
when the ebon tress ought to be dis.
played. The treasured knot of blue
ribbon may creep out of the vest-pocket
on the heart side at the very time when
it would seem so sweet to her to see the
scarlet in its stead.
When the young man who is court
ing two girls, writes love-letters to them,
what if he should put the delicious
mlssives In the wrong envelope?
What if he should take Minnie to the
opera, and Laura should sit opposite?
He must be in a perplexed frame Of
mind for the most of the time. He
loves them both the best, and if all
were in the river drowning at once, he
would not know which to save, and
would be obliged to let them drown,
and save himself. He is as happy as a
prince with either ore of them, but il
both should appear on the scene at the
same time, he would be supremacy mis-.
cradle.
He divides his time between them !;
he buys candy, and peanuts, and per-
fumery, for both of them; he plays
backgammon with both papas; and
holds yarn to wind for both mammas;
and allows the little brothers and sis.
tiers of both girls to put molasses- candy
in his whiskers, and cracker crumbs
down his back. He ad1nires Minnie's
pet cat, and submits to have her rub
her hairs off on his black clothes, long
ing to wiring her neck while she does it,
and he keeps cool while Lauras poodle
snaps at his heels, and tries not to
think of hydrophobia when the little
wretch's sharp teeth penetrate his COR
duroys.
He VOWS to each fair enslaver that he
never loved before, That the sun, and
moon, and stars, and most of the re
spectacle comets, may fall, before hi
proves untrue. He hopes the earth may
open and swallow him if he ever ceases
to love. For him there is but one guild.
ing star--but one beacon-but one heav.
en-and she is there. Unfortunately,
there are two shes in the arrangement.
The same catalogue of VOWS answ 81
in both cases. They are patented. and
ready for use on any occasion. Both
girls are the dearest. and sweetest, and
loveliest, and he is so anxious to marry
$50 very anxious--just as soon as he
sees which pater .familias is likely to
come down the heaviest in bridal por
tons. OF course, young man has to
look out for his own interest He loves
them both, but he can marry but one
and as long as his affection for both is
the one whose family desire the most
earnestly to get rid Of her, and insure
success by bestowing on her liberal
dowry.
1t seems to us that the young man
who is counting two girls, must be be.
tween two fires. We don't envy him
the struggle he must make to keep his
affair with one girl secret from the
other. And it is generally all mans
life is worth to be able to please one
woman, and how on earth does oui
young man manage to please two?
BY and by, both girls find out the
game he has been playing, and then,
ten to one, they both "mitten" him, and
he has to begin the world anew. And
all the bouquet, and candy, and per.
fumery business has to be gone over
again; and by the time he really gets
ready to marry, all the girls have found
him out and wouldn't marry him to
save themselves from having Miss en-
graved on their COMMISSIONERS. --Ne,o York
Weeklu-
There arc as many cities with pop
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