The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1890-11-01

puNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

1t seems TO be easier to be a Ma
poleon of Finance than to pay 1a0 cents
on dollar.-Lewfston Journal.
(which side did tho old maid take
in the marriage discussionp" THAT mar
riage is not failure."--Yanlsee Blade.
The man who runs his boots down
ut the heel has hard time keeping his
toes square with the world.-Ram's
Horn.
-"Pat, you must be older than you
look to be. How long have you been
voting?" 'Iver since the polls opened
this marning, be gobsr-Epoch.
--Clara-"I think Fred Is one of the
most woak-kneed fellows l ever mot"
Nellie (Fred's best girl) )-"I don't think
30. He holds me we'll enough. boston
Herald.
The Modern Great Man. -"When
were you born, Prof. Greathead." ''The
18th day of May, 1882 or 83 II am not
sure; but you will find it in tho encyclo-
pmdia. "-Fliegende Blatter.
-Alice-"Why, Edith, is that you?"
What a pretty bonnet you have on!"
Edith-"Do you think / look we'll in
it?" Alice-"Yes indeed-I hardly
knew you. "-Munsey's Weekly.
Physician Ito country editor) -
"Your pulse is decidedly better. How
about your circulation" Country Edi-
tor (absent mindedly) = "Circulationp
About two thousand. Subscription
price, S1.5O per year. "-lIarpers Bazaar.
-"You don't know what phenome-
non is? Why, COW is no phenomenon
and an apple tree is not a phenomenon
either, but il the COW should climb the
apple-tree, that would be phenome-
non."-Fliegende Blatter.
-Bjohnson-"Have you bought q
ticket to the church fair?" Bjones-
mot yet; but speaking of church fairs,
what an awful highway robbery that
was in Arizona, yesterday. y."-Lawrence
American.
-Reader-"Yes, I liked your new
novel very we'll; but I observe the
critics do not find your characters nat
ural." Novelist-'I made those char
acters up out of my own head" Reader
-"Ah! / see the critics think they are
rather wooden. America.
Practical Dame "How much are
these fish?" Marketman "Sixteen
cents pound, ma'am." Practical Dame
-"That seems very high, but then, I
know fishing is very hard on the consti-
tuition. Every time my husband goes
he has an awful headache the next
morning. Good News.
Employment Agent-"Th' top O. tn
mornin' t We, Biddy Maloney. oi've
found place fur ye. Go to the strate
an number ye foind on this card"
Domestic-"Sure, it's noice neighbor-
hood, Oil CO." Agent-Wait minute,
Biddy Take off that French cap. It's
not French maid, but an American
gurl they wants. IN. Y. Weekly.
Awful, indeed!-Mrs. Kawler--"Im
sorry that your husband was caught and
sent to prison for his embezzlement Of
the banks funds" Mrs. Ab-Sconder -
"Yes. and the worst of it was that in
court they put him right into the same
pen with all the cheap, petty thieves.
So degrading to man who stole $780,
000 0"-Lawrence American.
The Importance of thinking before
you speak recently received an amusing
Illustration at a meeting held in we'll
known town not hundred miles from
the banks of the Hudson. One of the
persons who occupied the stage was an
enthusiastic deacon, who frequently in
terrupted the speakers by yelling:
"Thank goodness for that" One gen.
tleman was called upon who arose and
said: Ladies and gentlemen, / am
heart and soul in this cause, and feel
that it would bo a great benefit to the
people of this place." THANK goodness
for thatr yelled the deacon. 'But,
ladies and gentlemen" he continued,
81 am going to say that it will be impos-
sible for me to address you this evening
=" "Thank goodness for thatl" broke
in the absent-minded deacon, amidst
general laughter.-N. Y. Ledger.