davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1890-12-18
HUMOROUS.

in some of our restaurants the Gus.
toner is the one who does the most
waiting. Rams Horn.
-Wilder-"That's an amusing entry
on the captains log" Ballast-"What's
that?" Wilder" September TO- 81 sic
omnia.' Every body sea-sick. "-Har.
per's Bazar,
Most Impolitic Young Mani hear
that your engagement with Ethel has
been broken off. How did it happenT
"Well, didn't agree with her father
in politics, and refused to attend church
with her mother. IN. Y. Sun.
Simply Matter of Sex. = Miss
Notinit-"I detest all sorts OF ringa II
were man should keep out of tbem. +"
Mr.. Slowcome-"H "How about wedding
ring?" Miss Notinit-"Well. you see I
am not man. Jewellers Weekly.
$50 you've been missionary among
the Indians%' said the inquisitive trav-
eler. "Well, the redskins are dying of
fast, are they not?" ION the contrary"
replied the solemn-visaged man, "tbe
death-rate among them is Lo." And
every body tainted. Buffalo Express.
She can paint, she can crochet,
She can parlez yous Franchise,
She can sing like the flute -throated linDet,
She is good at bowls and tennis,
But as a cook her name is Dennis,
For can absolutely state she isn't In 10.
Pittsburgh Dispatch.
A Prudent Woman.-A Rhode Island
girl had no sooner married than she
opened debit and credit account, and
last week, after four years of welded
life, she applied for divorce and
showed her books to prove he had
called her over four thousand harsh
names. His credits were only sixteen
''darlings Detroit Free Press.
One of the governors of grammar
school complained to the head master
that on previous evening he had seen
one of the top-form boys flirting with
young lady. The head master accord.
ingly spoke to the occupants of the
said form in severe terms on the impro-
priety of such conduct and wound up
his harrangue by saying that out Of
consideration for the parents he would
not name the culprit, bus invited him
to come into his private room at the
close of the lesson. That the governors
acuteness Of observation was consider
ably below the mark was evident to the
head master when sixteen crestfallen
top-form boys presented themselves al
the private interview.-Humoristischs
Blattar
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1890-12-18
Germans In the Russian Army.

The amount of German blood in the
veins of Russian army officers is sur
prisinglY great Six OF the eighteen
chiefs Of corps are of German ancestry.
OF the corresponding general staff
chiefs seven have such thoroughly Ger
man names as Meier. Rsuch, Scaf-
hausen and Rohrberg. OF the forty
eight commanders CT guard, grenadier,
and army infantry divisions, eleven are
Germans, and among the corresponding
general staff chiefs are Klaus, Monk,
Buchholz, Burger, etc. Thirty-four of
the ninety-six brigade commanders and
twenty-nine of the commanders of the
regiments, one one-hundredths are
Fischers, Schmidts. and the like. The
Guard Brigade is under Grippenberg,
the Caucasian under Treiter, the trans
Caspian under Won Albach, the East
Siberian under Degen. In all the rife
brigades together the proportion OF
German to Russian commanders Is six
to five. OF the nine Finnish rife bat
talions only three have Russian lead
ers and the chief OF all the troops in
Finland is named Willebrand.-Lon-
don Times.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1890-12-18
A SAD RESULT.

The days were long, tho nights were splendid
We roamed the woodlands side by side,
When sunsets dream with moonrise blended,
We hoated out across the tide.
We sang together. gently keeping
Time to tlie oars slow rhythmic sweeping.
We were the only two that season
Who came to board. Fate willed 1t so
For distinctly special reason,
, That later On wolearned to know.
And how prayed that none might find US
Where that sweet solitude enshrined us.
Thehouse wasl large, the grounds were spacious
And she and I, we owned 1t all
Ireveled In the thought; good graciousl
How I enjoyed the empty hall,
The coy parlor, bright and lonely,
The dinners served for us-us onlyi
All, Fate life's lesson strangely orders,
For now, in thinking of what was,
] wish there had been other boarders,
Because, asl-ah, ycs-because
We've been Ito writo it makes me wince)
Boarding together eVor sincel
Madeline s. Bridges, in Puck.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1890-12-18
SAVANNAH TENNESSEE, THURSDAY DECEMBER 49, 1890.

abiding citizens, are crying out against
this, to them, ruinous competition Of
convict labor.
A large boot and shoe manufacturer
contracts with the great State of Illinois
for one hundred eonvicts at eighty
seven and one-half cents per day per
man, puts his machinery into the
prison and sets them to work. He has
also factory in Chicago where he en-
ploys, perhaps, two hundred men, boys
and girls. He forces them into com.
petition with his prison-paid labor and
compels them to accept wages that will
barely keep soul and body together,
and all because he Is able to hire con-
vict labor so much cheaper thaIi he can
get honest workmen. The reader will
perhaps agree with mo that the man who
wants to be honest and respectable,
who desires to live free and upright
life, can not compete with tho man who
does not, and who by violating the
laws of the land becomes convict and
slave of tho State. Tho latter pays no
rent, pays no board has no clothes to
buy, has no position in society to sus-
tain, and, above all, has ret the dispo-
sition of his own time, nor any thing
to say concerning the wages he shall re-
ccivo for his labor; while the former
has all these, except the last and here
in effect, the State, which ought to pro-
tect and encourage honest industry,
steps in to reduce the honest mechanic
to practically the same level with the
convict. But the Restitution System
would do away with thi is.
Another point in its favor: 1t would
tend to discourage the commission OF
this class of crimes. Under our present
system a man steals say ten thousand
dollars; he is sent to the penitentiary
for six years, which would be consid-
cred a pretty severe sentence. He
serves his time and comes out nearly
ten thousand dollars ahead; supposing
of course no has saved his money, or
rather some other mans money. Let
us, on the other hand, suppose that he
knew that a theft OF ten thousand dol
lars would mean, If he were caught and
punished, sentence at hard Ia Dor for
life, at fifty cents day, that money all
to go towards reimbursing those he has
robbed Would he not hesitate to incur
such fate? This system would, be.
lieve, almost completely abolish petty
thieving; would most effectively stifio
the ambitions Of large class of oui
criminals. such as house-breakers, foot
pads, till-tappers and sneak-thieves. A
theft of one hundred dollars would
mean to them, perhaps, a years hard
labor, at the end of which time they
would have been compelled to make full
restitution.
In cases where the stolen property
has been recovered the same system
could still be employed, the convict's
earnings going to the State instead Of te
the injured party.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1890-12-18
ALMOST EXTINCT NOW.
The Manatee or Sea Cow Rapidly Passing
Out of Existence.

The Manatee or Sea Cow Rapidly Passing
Out of Existence.
The manatce or sea COW, two speci.
mems of which have been on exhibition
here, is now almost an extinct species.
The two seen in Washington were capt.
ured in the Indian river, Florida, las,
July. The larger of the two weighed
about eight hundred pounds and was
nine feet long. The other was foot
shorter and weighed about seven hun.
ired and fifty pounds.
The two in Washington were said tG
be the. only specimens that ever lived
more than week after capture, and
they were apparently in good health.
Captain Zeller says he hunted several
weeks for these specimens, following
them for a number of days after he
first discovered them. They usually
are found in herds, which combine for
mutual protection when attacked,
placing their young in the center,
They are great towards, always trem-
bling in fear of danger. Nature has
failed to provide them with any weapon
of defense except the power to outswim
the sharks and whales.
The disappearance of the sea COW is
accounted for by the fact that the hide
is valuable and the flesh held in high
esteem for food. These specimens were
driven into nets and pulled aboard
with rope, which the captain looped
about their tails. He says that he will
make an effort to casch couple for the
National Geological Park Specimens
OF manatee have been harpooued which
weighed four tons and were twenty feet
long, -Ksshinrton Post.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1890-12-18

II Is becoming questionable to die
of old age; violent deaths are the rule.
'Died of broken liver" Died OF an
abused stomach. "Died as the result Of
negligence" "Died from stealing from
the reserve of vital capital designed for
old age" might be selected from nu-
merous appropriate epitsphs which mo-
body uses We should all be aroused
to these dangers and the necessity OF
preaching and prscticing reforms: the
gospel of good health should be our
theme upon every possible OCCASION
yEee LssIsFs sy J, y Kall0gg, = .
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1890-12-18

for class Of Nervous Diseases remedy has been abo
with the Nerve Iono which pleasant and harmless
u Nnetens the ailments to which the human family heir
dependent exhaustion and impaired digestion When there
insufficient supply Of food in the blood general state of debility
the ban spinal marrow and nerves is the result Starved like
muscles become strong when the kind of food supplied and
thousand weaknesses and ailments disappear the As tho
system must supply all the by which the vital forces of the
body carried is the first to suffer for of perfect nutrition
Ordinary food does contain sufficient quantity of tho Kind Of nutmen
repair the present mode of living and labor imposes
the For this becomes that food be
supplied This production South American Continent has been
found by analysis essential elements out Of which tissue
formed This accounts for its magic all forms of
derangemena
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1890-12-18
WHEN. Oh. Whan7

"Sh-h-h, child. Young people
should be silent when older people are
talking" said fond mother to her
hopeful, who was talking too much, to
the annoyance of several elderly per-
sons.
Then when shall young people talk.
mamma? Old people are never silent 7"
was the reply of the cherub Texas
Siftings.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1890-12-18

Nervousness and
Nervous frOstration,
Nervous Headache and
Sick Headache,
Female Weakness,
AL Diseases of Women,
Nervous Chills,
Paralysis,
Nervous Paroxysms and
Nervous Choking
Hot Flashes,
Palpitation Of the Heart,
Mental Dependency,
Sleeplessness,
st. Vitus's Dance,
Nervousness of Females,
Nervousness Of Old Age,
Neuralgia,
Pains in the Heart,
Pains in the Back.
Failing Health.
All these and MANY other q,
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1890-12-18

did you ever have longings-
almost irresistible longings to reach
after the unattainabley' II can't say
that have Whenever my collar but
ton gsts down my back know 1t is no
use reaching after it simply undress
myself snd let Ii cone out - The otheI
sna. tape Cod Item.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1890-12-18
GU II I: S

Broken Constitution,
Debility of Old Age,
Indigestion and Dyspepsia,
Heartburn and Sour Stomach.
Weight and Tenderness in Stomach,
Loss of Appetite,
Frightful Dreams,
Dizziness and Ringing in the Ears,
Weakness of Extremities and
Painting,
Impure and Impoverished Blood,
Boils and Carbuncles,
Scrofula,
Scrofulous Swelling and Ulcers.
Consumption of the Lungs,
Catarrh of the Lungs,
Bronchitis and Chronic Cough,
Liver Complaint,
Chronic Diarrhea,
Delicate and Scrofulous Children,
Summer Complaint of Infants.
J cured by this wonderful Nervine Tonic
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1890-12-18
DUMAS LITTLE JOKE.
The Playwright Ca uses Considerable Ex'
c.tcment in Theatrical Circles.

The Playwright Ca uses Considerable Ex'
ctcment in theatrical Circles.
In tho theatrical circle of Paris there
is just now considerable excitement. Du.
mas has been credited with tremendous
practical joke, In Paris, as in Lond on,
perhaps even moro than in London,
managers are besieged with MS. plays
As ruie they are very wary, prefer
ring established regulations and new
author is rare bird. Dumas has es-
tablished his reputation beyond all pos
sibility of overthrow, and he has more-
over amassed immense wealth. Neither
his fame nor his balance need suffer il
he rides his hobby and plays his joke
This is the joke: lie has conflded to a
friend-to friend who believes that
speech is golden--his belief in the in
competence in matters Of judment Of
managers, and even of critics. The
confession seems at once both un-
generous and audacious, and he is
said to have made it and
to abide by it. Nor does he fear his
fate too much to put it to the test He
has written play. He has had 1t copied
with the timid manuscript OF unsuc-
cessful, nervous authorship. and he has
left it furtively with the concierge Of a
well-known Paris theater. There is no
possible clew except the literary style
of the work, and that of course, can
not be disguised. If the MS. is rejected
and returned it will be sent on to an.
other manager, and thus commence the
tedious circuit of the Paris theaters Sc
we'll known to obscure playwrights. II
any manager should decide to accept II
and should produce it NJ. Dumas de-
clares that as a reward for his perspi.
cacity he shall have the play for moth
ing. Twelve hundred pounds sterling
is NJ. Dumas price for play of this
kind. Moreover, he Is said to have de-
clared that the managers may consult
the critics ,oudon Daily News
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1890-12-18

Mr.. Solomon Bond, a member Of the Society
OF Friends, of Darlington, Ind, says: II have
used twelve bottles Of The Great South Ameri-
can Nervine Tonic and Stomach and Liver Cure,
and consider that every bottle did for me ono
hundred dollars worth OF good, because have
not had good nights sleep for twenty years
on account of irritation, pain, horrible dreams,
and general nervous prostration, when has
pepsia OF the stomach and by broken down
condition of my nervous system. But now can
lie down and sleep all night as sweetly as baby,
and feel like a sound man. ] do not think
this country which will ut all compare with
this Neryine Tonic as cure aer the stomach" !"
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1890-12-18

of course-She-'Why do poor men
always keep lots OF dogs?" He-"To
keep the volt from the door."-Mus,
sey's WeeklE.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1890-12-18
A SWORN CURE FOR ST. '

CRAwFoRDsvrILE, IND, May 10, 1886.
Ny daughter, twelve years old, had been af-
f1cted for several months with Chorea or 81.
Vitus's Dance. She was reduced TO- skeleton,
could not walk, could not talk, could not swal-
low anything but milk. ! had to handle her
like an infant. Doctor and neighbors gave her
up. commenced giving her the South Ameri-
can Nervinc Tonic; the effects were very sur
prising. In three days she was rid OF the ner-
vousness, and rapidly improved. Four bottles
cured her completely. l think the South
American Neryine the grandest remedy ever
discovered, and would recommend it to every
one. MRS. W. .. ENsMlN9htss
Sats OF Indiana, (ss.
Montgomery County, js''
Subscribed and sworn to before mo this May
10. 1887 CHAs. NJ. TRAVIS Notary Public.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1890-12-18

The Archbishop's throne, designed
and executed by Grinling Gibbons,
which was presented to Canterbury
Cathedral by Archbishop Tension, has,
1t is said. for many years past been
slowed away as lumber In damp cell
lss ssiseea. se les sslhsagsl sloistsrL
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1890-12-18

CnAwFoRDsvILE, IND, Aug. 20, 'S6.
TO the Great South american Medicine Co.:
DEAR GENTS Il desire to say to you that
have suffered for many years with very seri-
Gus disease OF the stomach and nerves. tried
every medicine l could hear Of but nothing
done me any appreciable good until twas adj
vised otry your Great South American Nervine
Tonic and Stomach and Liver Cure, and since
using several bottles of 1t must say that am
stomach and general nervous system. II every
one knew the value OF this remedy as do, you
would not be able TO supply the demand.
J. A. HARDEK,
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1890-12-18
Am unrrincinled French Girl deli

An unrrincipled French girl delib
erately appropriated seven of Whittiers
poems which she translated into her
own language, and caused them to be
printed as her own in Paris papers and
magazines When the fraud was dis
covered by an American she boldly de-
clared that Whittier had stolen the
poems from her.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1890-12-18

This wonderful Nervne Tonic has only recently introduced into
this country by the Great South American Medicine Company yet
lant Of South America who rely almost wholly upon its great medicinal
powers to cure every form of disease by which they ovake
This and valuable South American medicine possesses powers and
qualities hitherto unknown the medical profession This medicine has
completely solved y the problem Of the cure Of Indigestion Dyspepsia Liver
forms OF falling health from whatever performs this by the Great
upon the digestive organs the stomach Noremedy
with this wonderfully valuable Neryne Tonic builder and
senghner OF the life forces the human body and of
broken down constitution also of real permanent value in the
treatment and of diseases the Lungs than consumption
edcs ever used this continent 1t marvellous for
OF females Of Ladies who approaching the critical period known
as change IN life should not fail to this Nne Tonic almost
constantly for the space of two three years. 1t will carry them safely
the danger This great strenghener and curative is of emabe
value to be aged and n because its great energg properties will
them hold life will add ten fifteen the lives of
those who will half dozen bottles Of the remedy each
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1890-12-18
TUS'S DANCE OR CHOREA.

CRAwFoRDsvrLLE, IND, June %, 1857.
Ny daughter, eleven years old, was severely
afflicted with st. Vituss Dance or Chorea. We
gave her three and one-half bottles of South
American Nervine and she is completely re-
stored. believe twill cure every case of ST
vitus's Dance. I have kept It in my family for
two years, and am sure 1t is the greatest REM
edy in the world for Indigestion and Dyspep-
sia, oil forms Of Nervous Disorders and Failing
Health from whatever cause.
JOHN T. MIsH.
State Of Indiana, L..
Montgomery County, 80
Subscribed and swofn 10 before me this June
., 1887. CHAs. w. WRIGHT,
Notary Public.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1890-12-18

Mrs. Ella A. Bratton, Of New Ross, Ind,
says: 81 can not express how much I owe
TO the Nervine Tonic. My system was com.
Coughing and splitting up blood; am sure l
was in tue first stages OF consumption, an
Inheritance handed down through several
generations. / began taking the Nervtne
Tonic and continued its use for about six
months, and am entirely cured. IL Is the
grandest remedy for nerves, stomach and
lungs have ever seem"
Ed ]. Brown, Druggist Of Edna, Mo-,
wr!tcss "My health had been very poor for
years, was coughing severely. i weighed
only 10 pounds when commenced using
South Anerican Nervine. / have used two
bottles and now weigh 100 pounds, and am
much stronger and better than have been
for i've years. Am sure I would not have
lived through the winter had not secured
this remedy. MY customers see what II has
done for me and buy it eagerly. IL gives
great satisfaction"
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1890-12-18
INDIGESTION AND DYSPEPSIA.
Tho South Axraricax Nnruina Tonio

Which offer the only absolutely ntng remedy dicOv
cred for the Indigestion Dyspepsia and the train symptoms
and horrors which result and debility of the human
a No afford to this Jewel of value who
thousands 90 this the and great the
world for this universal destroyer There of unmanant disease
the stomach which the wonderful curative powers the South
American Nerv.ne Tonic.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1890-12-18

Harriet E Hall, Of Waynetown, Ind, says
81 owe my life 10 The Great South American
Nervine. had been in bed for five months
from the effects of an exhausted stomach,
indigestion, nervous prostration and gen.
eral Shattered condition of my whole sys-
tenn Had given up all hopes of getting we'll
Had tried three doctors with no relief. The
first bottle of the Nervine Tonic improved
me so much that was able 20 walk about
and few bottles cured me entirely. I be.
lievo Il Is the best medicine In the world.
can not recommend it too highly"
Mrs. NJ Russell, Sugar Greek Valley, Ind,
writes: Il have used several bottles OF The
South American Nervine Tonic, and will say
1 consider it the best medicine In the world.
l believe IL saved the kves of two of my
children. They were down and nothing ap-
peared to do them any good until 1 procured
rapidly they both improved on its uss.
recommend the medicine to all my Nigh.
bors"
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1890-12-18
THE GREAT SOUTH AMERICAN
IRVINE: TONIC
St0mach%Livep Cure
The Most Astonishing Medical Discovery OF
the Last One Hundred Years.

II IS Pleasant to the Taste as the Sweetest Nectar
1t is Safe and Harmless as the Purest Milk.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1890-12-18
NERVOUS DISEASES.

many other complaints cured by this wonderful
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1890-01-10
Moran.

Received foo late last reek,
Nothing like Sunny Kansas. Men went In
their shirt sleeves on Christmas and New Year
visiting the formers mother, Mrs. e.. ID.
lngersoli.
Miss Porter, of New York. is making visi,
Hooker Camp. S. of V. took In l.. H.
Myers. and G. W. Williams, of Bronson, satur-
day night.
Dr. Lambeth and wife were visiting at
Bronson, last week.
Mrs. Emmerson is laboring with punemonia
Mr. Davis AMI wife, Of Humboldt, are visit
ing the formers sister, Mrs. l.. b. kinnie.
erin-law, and Rev Chamberlin has moved iuto
the house he vacated. and Dir. DeEIart has
moved into the house vacated by the preacher
we forgot to make mention Of the christmas
churches had exercises and all report good
crowd and pleasant time.
THIS WEEK.
Merrily over the snow we'd glide-if we had
a sled.
Some OF our good citizens have lost their
grip to get new '.la grippe" DR.. Lambeth
reports y cases sa up to to-day TUESDAY, but
The small boy, with his skstes on, and the
slippery sidewalk seem to have great affection
for each other. at least the former Is seen max
DIR. Lambeth reports the birth Of boy unto
Mr.. and Mrs II Morris, january.
Mrs. Bertha Collins and Mabel Reynolds, If
Bronson, spent Saturday visiting at Miss Flora
Gays.
Mr.. s. Lambeth and family, Of Paola, were
week
The A. o. L. w, Lodge will have public
installation OF officers at the Christian church
next Monday night. Past Grand Master Riggs
will be spokesman
Mr. e. +. DeHart has bought some lots
north Of Durkee & StouL's elevator, and has
built barn on them
The kids" secret society staid up ell night
on New Years eve, 10 watch the new year in.