Weekly independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 1887-1914, 1890-01-05
"A LITTLE NONSENSE"

-Barber-"Does this razor hurt you,
air3" Victim-"It would IL I weren't q
Christian Scientist boston Herald.
-Unconquerable.-T Robber ZEN
tering NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. UP your
hands jenkins (engrossed in eucher)
Hanged IL i will; here's both bowers
and tho jokcr."-Texas Siftings.
~ pm sorry to say" said q sheriff TO
q young widow, who was handsome.
that l have an attachment for you.D
: II am happy to say, sir, that 1t isn't
mutual, she replied.
. Il kissed her for her mothers sake,
: But now tho years have down,
Tn very glad to get tho chance I.
Tokiss her for her own.
-Kearncy Enterprise.
Marriage" remarked Biggs, "is Q
sort OF brief swoon. When I was first
married / thought Mrs. B. and I wero
onc; but 1t wasn't long before we came
two."-Boston Transcripts
-Prodley-"I hear you have been
getting married" Tooker-"Yes." Prod
ley-"Whom did you marry2" Tooker
-"Milly Jones, her mother, her stop
father and two maiden aunts.n-uar-
per's Bazaar.
"A Jew went up to a railroad station
and said: Gimme q tigot 70 Spring.
field" what Sp~ringfeld2" asks tho
tickct-sellor, illinois or Massachu-
scttsP" ~ don't gare. Vichever's tho
MISUNDERSTANDING.
IA Now Version. Harold "a. r..
Harvard, 'ss .)-"Maude, I love youi
Will you BIO my wifo2" Mnude "a. H.,
Harvard Annex, 'Ss,)-"No. Harold, that
can never BIO, but We shall always 10
Observation-Disclosures Lampoon.
mir. Jawk Coming in after tho STORMY
G Scott, Maria, look at tho hail
stono. l found on tho stopl Why, It's
nearly three inches square," Mrs. Jawk
THAT isn't o hailstono, you old sim
plcton; tho iceman just left that"
-(Tho minister's youngest has been
detected In the telling OF q most fragrant
NIB, and has boon shut up for an hour TO
learn o vorso from tho Biblo on lyiRE.)
The Minlster-"Wcll, pet, have you
learned that verso yet2" Alico-"Part
OF ono, papa" Minister-"Part OF one
well, lots boar it." Allce-"psalms
hundred an sixteen 'loven-.Ail men
arc liars, "-Boston Beacon.
There Is ono thing that always
strikes me as funny abont your produc.
tidns," aaid tho editor 70 tho amateur
hpmorish Ills that SOP" said the humor-
ist- with q pleased expression on his
face; "and what Is that2" "Why, that
I, you should think that thoy arc funny
YOURSELF" said tho editor, end tho
pleased expression vanished like turkey
AL n%ewsboys' dimes on Thanksgiving
Day.-Somervillo journal.
--s ---
Massachusetts Is discussing tho
question Of corporal punishment ih
the public schools. According TO tho
State Superintendent OF Schools some
eighteen thousand hoggings wore adj
minislerod last yoar. A rattan II
used In oil cases. Truancy, lying and
INSTRUMENTATION are the main reasons
for punishment; most Of tho lighter
punishment is done by tho assistant
toachors, tho moro rigorous by tho
principal himself, who has the physic-
al strength ofton necessary 70 mako
my impression.
Tho iden Of n telephone church IL
boing carried ont ut Tunbridgo Wells,
Eng, whore tho pulpit OF q ConRrega-
tlonal church is connected with six.
toen subscribers. We arc told that
these included doctors and apothecae
rie5, clcrks working Ia various parts
OF the town, an invalid lady who has
boon obtaining consolation from the
telephone for several menths. and
some lazy clubsmep who Welt into tho
: thing presumably moro from a spirit
VI experiment. than devotion.