Morning journal and courier., 1890-08-15
TOUGH.

Riches-Pm afraid of nothing, Poverty
And well you may be. He's a tough
character. know him .well.-Life.
s'To stay at home is best,n wrote Long
fellow in one of his beautiful poems. 1t is
also the cheapest in the majority of cases.
-Somerville Journal.
Beware of the good deacon who begins
to smile on you at this season of the wear.
Ten to one he wants to borrow your chill
dren to take to the circus.-Elmira Gazette
did you enjoy the tableausl Phyllis-First
rate By the way, what is the name of
Ben Hur's last tbookl-Chautauqua Assem-
bly, Herald.
ssWhat is it German philosopher says
"A handsome woman is always right'!'
.'That was the way he said it. l suppose
he meant that pretty girls are never left. !"
The Bee.
Wife-Tm writing to Mrs. Van Cort-
landt Lake, dear; shall put in word
from you. Husband-That woman makes
me deadly tired. Give her my kindest re-
CARDS, of fcourse.-Puck.
ssWhat is the difference between ice and
water .'' 'Ice is frozen water, that is all. -
''There is a greater difference than that"
''What is it.n water always finds its
level, ice is constantly going up. p."-Boston
Courier. 'a7 .
An old bachelor says that giving the
ballot to women would not amount to any
thing practically, because they would keep
denying they were old enough to vote
until they got to be too old to take any
interest in politics.-Humboldt CTenn-1
Messenger.
81 assure You, judge, that my physician
is responsible for my being thief" ssDo
You mean to say he hypnOtized you and
compelled You to commit crime" Il
won't say that, but / do know that he or
dered me to take something before going
to bed. New York Herald.
Colonel Yerger-He is with Silverstone.
Judge Peterby-Isn't that the merchant
who has failed several times and been
burned out time OF so. Colonel Yerger
Yes, that's the man. / want my son TO
get practical business education.-Texas
Siftings.
That's queer" unused Mr.. Fangle as he
sat reading his newspaper. Here Smith,
Smith & Smith say in their advertisement
that they are having great run in colored
ginghams, and little further DOWN they
warrant the ginghams not to run. 1 shall
tell my wife to be careful when she trades
there. THE Bostonian.
my friend" said the dignified, clerical
looking man to his seat-mate in the car,
81 am afraid from the character of the
book You are reading that you haven't
enough thought for the future. Thought
for the future! Great Scott, Amt 1 a
member of the Chicago board of trades
Don't / deal in futures!'-Washingto
Post.
do you know why this egg is like me-
Mrs. Hasher." asked young Fitzpercy at
the breakfast table. because it's fresh.
suppose" replied the landlady, sweetly.
That wasn't the right answer, but it
abashed Fitzpercy SO that he neglected to
tell what the right reply was. s.-Pittsburg
Chronicle Telegraph.
Papa" said the young mother, I've
decided on name for baby; we will call
her Imogen." Papa was lost in thought
for few minutes; he did not like the
name, but if he opposed it his wife would
have her own way. 'sThat's NICE" said
he, presently. ..My first sweetheart was
named Imogen, and she will take it as a
compliment" 1--WE will call her Mary,
after my mother" was the stern reply
Harper's Bazaar.