The Baltimore County union., 1890-11-08
THOUGHTS ABoUTPREsENT GIVING.

Sham and show, perplexity, annoyance and
extravaganza have cr9pt into the custom OF
gift-giving. Though one may make gift out
of the depth of the heart, and do it becomingly
and unassumingly yet it seems as if dozen
influences were bearing on to force him into
greater expense than he can afford, or to give
where he is reluctant to do so, or where he
must make show of the article given. Quiet,
unostentatious, spontaneous giving shines
brightly, when we find it amid the dreary
heartlessness, the gaudy show and the heart
burnings that often accompany the formal
giving that is part of social life.
The reader may call to mind some wedding
or birthday anniversary that she is invited to
help celebrate. The problem of all problems
even outranking the common What shall
wear?" then is, "What present shall send 2"
1t is not enough to go and participate in the so
cial duties and to be cordial in well-wishing
and congratulation, for none OF this will pardon
the neglect of oversight OF the gift. There
PRESENT." and then the unpleasant comment
If she has made none. So Mrs. Jackson sets
out to find some compromise between pride
and purse, perhaps poverty, something that
costs 10 more than absolutely compulsory,
and yet looks as if it were worth great deal
more something that the other guests will
not look at slightly, if not speak OF contemp-
tuously or at least think of in the same spirit.
And then the guests compare their proxies Of
themselves and put themselves on exhibition,
would do if they were to stand up before COM
mittee of critics and have the style and elegance
of their clothing passed upon. The show IS at
last over but the iealousies and heart burnlngS
remain, the fear that respectability has been en-
dangered by the insignifcance of the gift, or the
overtopping consciousness of few that they
each made the best, or one of the best presents
of the lot. Afterward, as is more or less the
custom in some parts of the country, the names
of the donors and brief description of their
gifts appear in some newspaper, there to under
go further comparison and criticism and all the
train of accompaniments. Finally, if the pres
ent was valuable enough, it may find its way
to shop where duplicate presents are bought
and Sold so little did the receiver care about the
personality of the gver, or to such little use is
it to the recipient among several other presents
of the same kind.
are little less than sinful if they fall short of
that. Gifts are by no means always the token
of friendship and, when combined with the
abuses that are often made to accompany them.
they are demoralizing; they are unpleasant
features of what take the form of duties, and
they are dark spots in social life. Something
is wrong when present is made test of social
standing, or when it is made the prerequisite
for performing social act. There is an oppOr-
tunity for reform when what is apparently
friendly deed is confessedly empty of honest
intent, when 1t is burdensOme, annoying, COM
pulsory, false-hearted or made for show, or evil
dence of wealth, or merely for social conformity.
The only excuse that one can make for these
abuses of gift-making is that their compulsory
features have the effect of putting people into
the habit of making presents at time when
their friendly feelings have not become strong
to prompt the act unaided. With the growth of
these feelings the custom gradually gets
better and surer foundation and stands more
plainly in harmony with civilization. A gift
should be an embodiment of sentiment from
which cost should be totally divorced as an ele-
ment Of weight. and with which no social
compulsion should be linked, except the COM
pulsion of spontaneous expression of feeling.
The world is not good enough for this yet but
some attempt, if only a feeble one, if general
enough, would be green oasis in the social
desert.-LGncdSter EIanliner.