Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1890-08-28
CRANES PHONOCRAPH.
The Comedian Has "a Plaything Which Can
Deal Out "a Practical Joke.


One of the most important pieces of
furniture in the new flat which William
H. Crane and his wife have lately taken
is, in the ewes of the master of the
establishment, a queer-looking arrange
ment of brass wheels and cylinders,
which the initiated know as a phono-
graph. 1t is productive of so much in
nocent amusement that Mrs. Crane
merely shakes her head and good-na-
turedly says nothing when she shifts
the malodorous fumes from the battery
which supplies the motive power or
finds distressing stain on one of her
beautiful rugs, due to the acid con-
tanned in the said battery. Every Sun
day evening Mr.. Cranes friends drop
in and are entertained by the marvel
Gus little instrument, into which the
owner has not only recited humorous
stories and poems but has also brought
back to his older friends memories of
the days when he was known as the
phenomenal basso" by trolling out
verses of songs in a rich, resonant bar
itone voice. Acquaintance and friends,
knowing his hobby, have taken pains
to send him waxen cylinders, which
being placed on the monograph have
ground out atfectionate messages or
amusing stories, and it Is whispered
that the fondest dream of Cranes life
is to procure cylinders which will
transmit the sonorous phrases of w.
E. Gladstone, and the forcible utter
ances of the ex-Chancellor Bismarck.
The other day little package ar
rived by mail, which, on being opened,
was found to contain one of tie familiar
waxen cylinders, covered with hardly
perceptible dots and dashes, which
proclaimed it to be photographic
communication. Crane had not time
then to transmit it, so he laid it aside
until he should have the requisite leis-
ure. A day or two afterwards the
Cranes were surprised by visit from
an old friend, rather prim maiden
lady, from Massachusetts, to whom the
stage is but an invention of the Evil
One, and who ia therefore in a con-
slant state of mild indignation that any
one she esteems SO highly as viii
Crane should be connected with it.
Indeed she is always prophesying that
sooner or later even he will fall VIC
tim to the Tempter's wiles. After the
old lady had been Hospitality enter
tanned. the photograph was, of course,
brought out and exhibited. She listen
ed to a verse of Rocked in the Cradle
of the Deep" as interpreted by her
host, with delight, and then other cylin-
ders we're slipped on and proved equal
L., i,,i 70 IN al 1,-
Finally it came to the turn OF the new
ly arrived one, which Crane had not
yet had time to sample. The visitor
adjusted the little ear-tubes, and with
an air of pleased expectancy began to
listen as the cylinder whired around.
Soon. however, her expression changed
to one of surprise, from that to horror,
and from that again to grieyed dis
dain. When the message was fully
ground out. she turned to Mrs. Crane,
kissed her tearfully on the forehead.
groaned rather than spoke, MY poor
child, how you must suffer- snapped
out "Monsteri' at the amazed Crane,
and swept out of the house.
Crane looked at his wife and she
looked at him. Then they made
simultaneous rush for the monograph.
The cylinder was readjusted, and as
Crane listened to its metallic voice the
secret was out. In an affected woman's
voice it ground out a string of endear-
ing sentiments, ending with, Yours
till death. Popsyw Some one had
been playing Il harmless practical joke
on the actor and the visitor had taken
it seriously.
A blight has been in measure cast
on the enjoyment of the photograph in
the Crane household, and the eminent
comedian is doing his best to find out
the treacherous friend whose jest has
had such disastrous consequences. He
has not been successful yet, but has his
eve on a brother-comediau and fellow