The Republican., 1890-12-12
The ARIZONA KICKER.
Strange Things That Have Happened to
Its Intrepid Editor.

0tEAhBo AhtnRS nave Happ0n0Q tO
Its Intrepid Editor.
We take the following items from
half-sheet issue Of the Arizona Kicker:
NOT OUR FAULT.-While we st1nd
ready to apologize to our readers for
issuing a half-sheet this week, we at
the same time declare it to be no faplt
of ours.
Last week was one full of excite
ment to us. Early Monday morning
Colonel Stephoe, manager of the Gull
liver Silver Lode, called on US in regard
to that article denouncing his enterprise
as swindle. He fired four shots and
we two, and we lost most of the dag fn
getting surgeon and assisting to dig
tho bullets out of the Coloners left
shoulder. He was ratified from the
moment he entered the Office door. Ths
man who comes to lick the editor is
bound to be more or less ratified.
AN EDITORIAL Ass. - Thursday fore
noon, just as we were making up the
fourth page of the greatest American
weekly on the face of the earth, Major
Keppling steered a drove of 'bronchos
around to our Office to show us what
sort of horse-fesh could be raised on
wolf-grass.
After we had evinced our admiration
the Major offered to bet US twenty dol
lars even up that we could not stay on the
back of certain spotted broncho over
thirty seconds, Ass that we VIC IL we
accepted the def. Because we own
private graveyard and can bulldoze the
postmaster, we thought ourselves some
pumpkins. We reached that broncho's
back We stayed there just six seconds.
We didn't come to for twenty minutes,
and at the present writing we fully be-
lieve that both arms, both legs and all
our ribs are broken. 1t is needless to
add that the Major scooped in our
twenty.
AN UNFAIR ADvANTAGE.-The news
of our assinine adventure spread rapidly
over town, and, as was to be expected,
one of our enemies determined to take
advantage of our physical situation to
pay off an old grudge Cactus Tom, a
would-be bad man, who has received
several warnings through the Kicker to
to get, came over and found us on our
back and helpless, and he was about to
divide us into two equal parts with his
bowie-knife, when our female book
keeper, stenographer, typewriter and
editorial assistant--all combined in one
| raised an alarm, and the boys came in
from the Jackdaw saloon and took
Thomas out to the usual trysting place
and choked him to better land. While
we are not hurt, we own to being con-
siderably upset.
He CAN NOT EsCAPE.-W Wednesday
afternoon, after being rubbed down with
arnica and replastered with sticking
salve to hold us together, we took a seat
with our feet on the stove to direct our
half-breed foreman how to make up
page, several people came in, and all
had more or less to do with the stove.
just after the last one had departed
there was sudden loud explosion, and
| the top of the stove hit and smashed the
ceiling, while other pieces flew into the
! grocery, butcher, harness, hardware and
millinery departments.
While we were not physically injured,
| our nervous system received a further
shock, and it was seven minutes before
we could ask what had happened!ss Spfne
one of the four or five callers dropped
a can of powder into the stove, calculat-
ing not only to take our life, but to de-
stroy great and growing weekly paper.
We shall soon learn who is the guilty
party. If we can't bring it home to any
one in particular, then we shall go gun
ming for the whole crowd. Detroit Free
Press