Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1890-04-24


There are several thousand characters
In the Chinese. They have almost every
kind of character except what is known
as the moral character. The Chinese
were on the eve of big celebration in
honor of the erection of the Joss house.
They invited me to participate, but told
them that | had never made profession
of religion and did not think it would
be proper. So they excused me.
We took the sleeper on the Central Pa
cific railroad for San Francisco, and were
just in time TO catch the steamer State of
California for Portland. Out through
the Golden Gate on glorious morning
at 10 O'Clock we steamed softly away, as
the poet says. Oakland, and Mob Hill,
and Goat Island, and Telegraph Hill, and
Lone Mountain, and the Cliff House, and
Sutro Heights, one by one faded away
The croupy baying of the sea lions grew
more indistinct, the asthmatic engine
quickened its stroke, and we were abroad
on the heaving chest of the Pacific.
Some got out their glasses, and others
their summer literature, and some their
lunches, but most every one went below
TO divest himself of what is known as the
California flea. The California flea does
not differ from the American flea, except
that he is trifie darker on the stomach,
and is also the hopeless victim of insom-
nia. His motto is: I'VE never sleep,
nor allow anybody else to do So Also,
1--WE do not die in the house."
This little insect is what might be
termed a tuft hunter. He seeks out the
great and the eminent of all ages and all
chimes. He associates with his superiors
with as little embarrassment as a MEM
Der of the legislature would. He also has
way of attracting attention to himself
which must arouse the envy and admira-
ton of Denis Kearney.
Large tiocks of sea gulls, poised on
graceful wing, followed us far out to sea.
The gull is not very pretty bird, nei-
Their Is he good songster. He flies with
much ease and grace, but his song re-
minds me of the remark made by an
aged horse once owned, who had formed
the unfortunate habit of cribbing. The
gull is a good roadster, but his voice
needs little machine oil on the second
joint. He pursues a ship on tireless
wing for days at time, taking anything
that may be offered by kind friends, al
ways giving grateful creak in return.
His ambitions are not praiseworthy how
ever, and his aspirations are offal
On the way out of the bay l saw our
Old friend the practical joker. He had
been with us several days on the cars
and at hotels. He was getting some
more jokes ready for the voyage. God
did not see fit to shower any brains on
him, but after completing the flea and
pronouncing him good the practical
joker was produced from the shavings
and debris left over ON the completion of
the flea.
He began life by jerking the chair out
from beneath his old blind grandmother
and laughing immoderately when she
broke her neck. He then advanced rap
idly in hellishness, doing this same trick
for the pastor whilst the latter Temporal
rily stood up at table in order more deft-
iy to stab hot, saleratus biscuit. The
boy now began to try more difficult Jobs
and soon coal oiled st. Bernard dog.
Then, lighting him, he turned him loose
in q primary school for the blind, where
he succeeded in burning up quite a num-
Der of children, whilst his own eyes
twinkled with merriment.
Oh, he just dubbed over with this
roguisb spirit of gentle fun.
Well, he was on board. l did not like
him very much, for he had stuffed my
pipestem full of paper once, and, though
/ got it out in half the time it took him
to put it in, have no patience with
large, full grown man with whiskers
who has nothing better to do than to
study out practical Jokes which would
disgrace reform school and shock
''Siwash" Indian.
On the second day, while he was slim
ulating himself, preparatory to having a
thought as he was led to believe, giant
billow struck us abaft the scuppers on
the lee bow. The ship keeled over till
the salt spray rolled down the smoke
stack, and then seemed to hesitate full
minute ere she righted herself before
the public, and then went over as far on
the other side. l had never taken any
interest in this practical joker, and had
no curiosity whatever about his habits of
life or diet. did not care q cent about
what he ate, and ] always believe in
people selecting such food as best agrees
with them. ! do not know yet how he
got it into his head that l felt any inter-
est in his past, and yet he went on to
show me at some length his notions
about diet, furnishing suitable style Of |
gesture ever and anon, which would
have commanded my sympathy If he
mad been human being.
How much better it is to leave our re-
yenge in the hands of a higher poweri