, 1890-07-08
FAVORITES OF THE E
DO THE LORDS OF CREATION LIKE
THE BEST WOMEN BEST

And So Say Bitter ThInEs-Physical
misunderstanding Women.
Copyright by American Press AssocIatIon.l
Do men like the best women bestl No,
they don't, and it is one of the most re-
markable things in the study Of the
cruder sex to see how they pride them
selves upon their discrimination with
regard to women, and how very, very,
uerg little they know about them.
And this no doubt is one ground for
the cynical, jaundiced, bitter SCOTS and
taunts flying about the world with re-
gard to women, and all emanating from
men. They thought they knew some
thing about women, these poor cynics,
and they found they didn't, and instead
Of blaming their own stupidity they
turned and rent the elusive objects of
their mistaken theories.
1t is very annoying, l grant you, for a
man TO build up a fine ideal temple
wherein to enshrine his own image and
watch the goddess of that temple sitting
at thef feet of her chosen lord, and then
to suddenly discover that the temple
was founded upon the Laughing
sands" and in some unusual quake the
whole affair tumbles down, and his
AAabC An "a ABhOllllllOu5ll bIThnutu IN
the ruinsi
l suppose one ioouLd be tempted to re-
vile the goddess who had mortified us
so sorely.
No, they don't understand women at
all, these poor dear men, and nothing
vexes them more than to have this con-
seriousness brought home to them; they
are so accustomed to feeling that the
world rT1na nm fha 1fnaa That tha,- h.
laid down that there is nothing in
heaven or earth beyond or above their
comprehension, and that they are, as
Alexander Selkirk remarks OF himself,
Lord of the fish and the brute" that,
although woman Is neither a fish nor a
brute, they consider her as surely the
vassal Of man as either of these.
And then, when all this has been COM
fortably arranged and Milford Man has
settled himself pleasantly upon his
throne. 10 and behold the chief vassal
isn't at all in the place he had arranged
for her, but has shot off in an eccentric
orbit of her own and is away out of
reach. Such conduct as these natu-
rally annoys "the monarch of all he sur
veys," and as 1t is impossible for him TO
do anything about it he vents his wrath
III SuHtiV IL RTtdb utdl, bO1netl1neS IN the
style Of the fox who thought the grapes
were sour because he couldn't reach
them, and again, in the light and fippant
fashion of a majestic intellect stopping
to trifes, he fiicks the woman question
aside as one quite unworthy of his con-
sideraton, declaring hat the habits and
manners of the ephemera who dance for
an hour above a sunny summer pool are
more deserving of a mans attention
thai the yet lighter ephemeron, woman.
One consequence of this process is that
n tradition has grown up in the mascu-
line mind and is transmitted from ia
Their to son as carefully as the unwritten
laws of the Incss to the effect that
women are deceitful exceedingly, are fair
to the eye but deadly poison to the taste,
are trivial nj shallow of mind, and yet
past masters in the art of ho~odwinking
men; that they are at once the weakest
n most formidable form of creation,
and although an unhappy instinct of
mans nature, but no-men don't have
Observation-Disclosures the profound pro-
cesses Of reason show that the world
would not long continue without wom-
an, and therefore it is necessary that
man should condone her offenses and
seek her society, he should do so with
the same fear and trembling that he
handles dynamite or introduces electric
wires into his warehouse.
They all are powerful agents and the
Lord of Creation does not intend to n
fess any object in his dominion to be too
many for him. So, although quite
aware that dynamite may blow him and
his to the farthest limit of limbo, and cleo
tricity will most likely set his buildings
on fire, and woman will-oh, dear me.
h words can describe the indescrib-
able ills hat woman can work in his
hfel still he does not, and does not in
tend to, do without any one of the three
potencies and feels quite sure that
though other men have been hoisted
with their own dynamite, ~confagrated
by their own electrics and destroyed
with nameless horrors by the woman
whom they had either made or wished
to make their own, they should escape.
But just as every man tries to secure the
safest form of dynamite n the best
protected electric wires would 1t not be
supposed that he would be very careful
to secure the very best and least danger
Gus kind of woman?
But here the Wanted wisdom of the
Lord of Creation seems to utterly fail
him, and in choosing a wife he shows no
more discrimination than the child who
dives into a grab bag at a fair. If there
is any method at al in the matter it
seems to operate the wrong way, for it is
very, very seldom that a man likes his
affections upon the best woman of his
acquaintance, or even upon the best wo-
man for him.
What are the grounds of his choice,
then? What kind of women do men like
better han the best?
Well, of course. youth and beauty are
always sure cards, and l should be sorry
indeed to lose the pleasure / derive from
contemplating them myself; but we all
know that there are beauties and beau
ties, and while some pretty faces are as
attractive and refreshing as a handful of
dewy flowers others are as monotonous
as a photographed smile, and others
again as deadly sweet as nougat.
And when we come to the matter of
choosing n wife, which is of course the
only very important result of mems
preference of n woman over another,
prettiness becomes merely a detail and
not the one sine qua non-at least it
ought to &c become if the man is capable
Of looking before he leaps.
A good many man ara not md INSTEAD