Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-10-04
SNAP SHOTS IN SEASON.
THE self-made made is liable to worship the

thing and everybody.
But why should he?
Take the ambulance wagons and the police
patrol vans, for instance. How they do ny
over the crowded streets at all hours of the
day and night. They have the right of way, to
be sure, but why the awful hurry? The yellow
tagged vehicle is on mission of mercy, OF
course; but there is no necessity to main or
Kill others on the road there. And the horses.
Why wind and worry them in race which
benefits no one except the Jehu who is puffed
up with pride and brass buttons If the victims
of disease, sudden sickness accident pistol or
knife be past medical or surgical aid, all the
haste made by the ambulance corps will not
save them. Perhaps less haste would help
them. Who knows.
So with the police patrol How they do
scurry over the stones at tine beck and call OF
the indicator. The driver knows his load car
not get away; but he races for it just the Same.
He has the right of way, too, and he feels
bound to exercise it. No matter how 1t adds to
the discomfort of the people who furnish hi m
with his spanking horses and stout wagon.
They must keep beyond reach of his cracking
whip and prancing steeds at all times. He's on
a mission of misery. Why the haste to hustle
the unfortunates behind the bars? Justice is
proYerbially slow, but these vehicles Of Justice
are decidedly swift.
will ever have right of way over life's highway.
Go slower in the service of both. You will get
there just the same.
In November, after voters drop their ballots
in the slot,
And the candidate is landed after battle long
and hot;
Then the fellows SO prophetic, with their faces
all aglow,
Will be plentiful as chestnuts, and will shout:
Il told you sor'
WITHOUT doubt Mr. Delamater expects to
enter the mansion at Harrisburg over Matt.
But he can't wipe his feet on it for all that.
DEALERS in felt will probably feel the effects
of the revenue BILL too.
WHEN a chap kisses a girl her lips are
chapped, of course.
LABOR LEADER LOVELY does not seem to
be in love with kynder's little labor-Yote-
splitting nonsense.
THE spectacle of a nation begging for food
while its oppressors are clubbing hungry men
into submission is blot on the page of Nlne-
teenth century history.
LoNDoNERs are not disposed to treat the gas
workers strike lightly The soldiers may take
a hand and settle it in short meter.
It's not often that Gardner is robbed OF
$4,000. But the one touched in Allegheny
the other day raises lumber instead of greens.
WHERE there's will there's way to break
it apparently.
WHEN you count up your cash set aside a
fri fla fnr 10 ara wi Ms lwqy
and may appeal to US at any moment.
IF a storage battery could be attached to
tattlers and scandal mongers life's burdens
would be lightened.
THE iron men coming here will not display
diamonds on their fronts or massive gold chains
on their stomachs. They are plain. everyday
people, according to the pen portraits of the
Eastern reporters.
THESE the days of frosty mornings,
Early dusks and changeful skies,
Autumn pastimes winter warnings,
Politics and pumpkin pies!
IF every man was for himself, the devil
would surely be for us all. f->
PERHAPS Senator Quay will write that letter
for Mr.. Delamater between bites.
THERE seems to have been very bad proof
reading on the tariff bill.
JACK THE R1PPER has kindly notified the
London police that he will soon kill another
woman. This will annoy the Whitechapel fe-
males worse than the guardians.
WHEN swords rust plowshares are always
bright
THE sun seems to have hid himself behind
the equator.
THE man In the moon must see funny sights
When he takes a sly peep &C the earth. o.
nights.
Perhaps this is the reason he wears broad
smile.
And has to get full every once in while.
THE Gubernatorial candidates are playing
tag. May the best man WIN.
THE Commissioners have classified the
Worlds Fair. They can pacify the classes by
getting out the plans and breaking ground.
Now comes the carpet trust. It should be
easily beaten
THE tariff bill advances the duty on specta-
cles, but not quite out of sight.
IT'S the demand that sets the price on every
thing after all.
HE'S rolling through the Keystone State in
softly.cushioned van,
And everywhere he's telling folks he's no mans
man;
Perhaps he'll find ere many moons, when votes
are figured out
That few mems man he really was-if they
send him up the spout!
So the Countess di Montercoli is going on the
stage. Well, she's had some hard knocks
already, and may make hit.
"I WOULD rather be human sandwich, with
the Gospel on my breast and back, and rescue
souls. than preach in a frescoed temple to
handful of old men and women who have gone
to church so long that they have sacred rheu-
matism. u is the way Chicago clergyman shook
up a small but select congregation. Ii preach-
ers in general adopt this style pew rents Will
have to be raised
WHEN the Millennium arrives the recording |
angel will probably take vacation.
The lawyer who files bill usually rasps the
party of the second part
PERHAPS Mr.. Delamaters letter has gone to