Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1890-07-31
WIT AND HUMOR

- ~~N~"~' -
Many man who can't sine = No.
has great capacity for makipS tb ioe
hum. Rochester unicn.
Don't attcnp. TO dro~n your sorr,.
in drink, YOU will find that sorrow Wv, a,S
swim.-Ei,:ghaniton Leader "u
The way of the transgressor is b.ra
yet good people tell us it is the easiaa,
thing in the world to follow it.-Roms
Sentinel.
Jones lives in Cincinnati now
Makes $4,000 a year from his ben
Does he do his own packing?d-N
Y. Sun.
1t was possibly because Henry CLAW
was strong OIL. the stump that cigar
was named after him.. T. Com.
merctat- advertiser.
He-"Why, l love you so mncb
Ethel, that I'd die for YOU if yon'5
marry me-" She--'rd marry Won If 7
believed it."-M 7. Sun.
The right to bear arms in a FREQ
country cannot be infringed upon bv
any social edicts against decolIefe
dresses.--Boston Courier
Man is made in Gods own imaoe.
and, naturally. the mors intellectual
man is the higher his estimate of his
Maker.-BoStoia Transcript.
Money talks" yep. If Won
doubt it 60 to the opera. 1t talks all
through, and its mighty little music
poverty gets. ~. y Sun.
Briggs ~ 'onder what possessed
him to jump into the river?n Braggs
There was a woman at the bottom
of it, | believe. IN Y. Herald.
One swallow does not make A sum.
mer, but it frequently creates sensa.
ton of ethereal miidness" in mans
''innards. -Binghamto,s Leader.
johnny what do they ring
church bells for, anyhow Pa
TO make people believe there's fire in
the other world, my son. ''-Epoch.
The poet who asserts that life is but
dream was never called upon to help
move a stove or get barrel Of cider
down the cellar stairs. -TeraS Sittiags
Miss Elder-''O, | don't think it 50
much to take prize for beauty; for
that, you know, one only needs to have
beautiful exterior!'' F7iegende Biaet-
ter.
Scientists say the earth is really
growing larger. If Jay Gould wants
it he had better take it now, or it may
get TOO big for even him to manage. =
Ieras Syttngs.
Psychologists say that the older a
man grows the smaller his brain be-
comes. This explains why the old man
knows nothing and the young one
everything. Boston Courier.
Judge-'Do you think you could
give verdict in accordance with the
evidencep" Would-Be Juror do.
Lawyer (for the defense. hastily
challenged for causem-M Wee6ly.
If it hadn't been for me little Har-
~ Parker would have gotten a good
licking to-day. ma. He struck me,
you know" And what did YOU do,
my son?n Il didn't hit him back. ~
I. sun.
''Why should the spirit of mortal be
proud?n sounds like a philosophical,
rational questions; but the man who
asked it never succeeded in holding the
baby the first time he tried. Merchant
1rdceter.
Brown-"H Hello. what's this? An
other murderer ut large? Why don't
the police exercise little energy aud
scour the country?N Bass-"B Because
they haven't got the sand. - Boston
Transcript.
Il am AL out of breath, said Soak
er. who had been running for train.
"1lad of it. said Noaker. Hope the
next lot YOU take in will not be 50
strongly favored with whisky. n-BoS-
ton Bulletin.
Grossbore-"Id have you to know,
sir. that came from Il good family"
rogg did you? And they neglected
to give you character when you leftP
Poor fellow, | pity you; | do indeed. "
Boston Transcript.
AT the Theater Box-Oilice: us every
thing full already? Haven't you even
one seat for me?n Cashier Don't
be troubled. Ii you will wait till the
SeCoHh ACT lHeFe VIII DC pltHtg VI
room. "-F}iegelsde Biaetter.
Il am from Philadelphia, remarked
Mr.. Chestnut as he took the pen to
register at New York hotel. "All
right. replied the clerk; I'm send a
boy to your room with you to show you
how to turn of the gas."-M \. sun:
He-''How frank it is for Miss Hard
he'd to own to being 50 when she would
easily pass for 20 years of age She
-"She isn't more than 10. She gets
Sl7 week for ascribing her good looks
to Peaches soap, Terre Haatte En-
press.
New There's one thing don't
like about the master. He keeps call
ing me my DEAR Mrs. Ego,
you mustn't mind that. It's only a
habit Of his. Why. he even addresses
me that way sometimes.-Ierre Haute
Express
Brown-''Old Pecksniff is the most
religious han l ever saw. He kept
dinner waiting over fifteen minutes to-
day while he said grace Merritt
Yet | know when he holds fellows
l.. ! l.. nt'c