Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1890-05-01


you wish to rent them," Mrs. Browne,
said the agent. lyon know what Hamlet
said, 'h,t. stale, and Improbable
The story that mean Georgia man has
crossed his bees with lightning bug1 ia
order to get kind that will make money
at night is denied by the agricultural do
partment.
Shoe dealer Ito young widow, who Ii
hauling over pile Of ladies' slippers)-
Are you looking for number two, ma'm2
Young widow (blushing)-Yes. sir. Are
you an unmarried msn2-BurtIngton
Free Press.
st. Peter Ito newly. arrived spirit)-'
Madam, you will have no need of that
seal-skin sack in this summer land.
Mrs. De Fashion-Oh, let me wear IL
please. Never mind II / do nearly roast.
I'm used to that.
"whst Is your opinion of orArks7"
| asked Miss Brighton OF Gus de Jay.
"Oandidly," said the dainty Augustus,
"I don't like cwanks much, you know"
"Why not2n 81 oahnt approve OF the
wsy they weah thsiah haiah."-- Washing
ton Pest.
Ambiguous-M X.-'I don't imag-
| inc Mr.. and Mrs. Nothink get on very
well together" Mr.. X.-"They seem to
be happy" Mrs. X.-'I know It, but
when l asked Nothink the other day how
he liked married life, he said happiness
was no name for it."
"Yes," said the operator, "Suggsy ia
the only man on the limo who, when he
sees thurderbolt coming along, can
mount the telegraph pole and out the
wire on eaoh side of it and let it drop TO
the ground. hes saved our lives several
times that wny.-Ltsht.
Lost an OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES" said
Estelle, with shy smile, your glove IL
all ripped. You ought to have some one
to keep them In repair and sew buttons,
on your coats" ''You wouldn't like to.
toto be q sister to rue, would you,
Estelleg" sRid George. HGrper's Dasdr.
Lawyer Strange Ito his wite)-"When
die you must have nothing but the in
scription, 'Here lies an honest lawyer
put on my tombstone" Mrs. Strange
But people wont know who You are"
, Lawyer stranee-"Oh, yes they will;
, they will say, Why, that's strange"
s'You should visit the seaside, Mr..
Blank" said gushing young maiden, to
crusty old hwyer. "and listen to the
: murmuring Of the tide" Il hear enough
of that every day." grunted the lawyer.
7 where at 2" queried the girl. I'm the
{ divorce court" replied the wretch.
Farmers wife-Wno is that horrible
looking man at the gate2 Trsmp-Thst's
q friend OF mine, mum. Farmers wife
: Well, he's the worst-looking thing I've
sesn in II years. Trsmp-He amt very
pretty mum, but between you and me he
stands very high in our profession.
: .'What vera you about to remark 2"
! Nothing at all, l assure you," replied
! Willie Washington. "But you looked as
: if you had something to say" "Ysa5 /;
, Pm verwy deceptive that way. I've often
thought, myself. that had somathing to
: say, and disoovahed sttRh said it that l
= hadn't"
. Cowboy (s,ridiug into the Roundup
. salocn)--Gimme q drink, an BIS quick
about it, il We know what's good fer ye-
IL / amt goin' ter pey for it, nuther.
a Expsrincsd bartender (suddenly covering
. him with q revolvsr)-Whst'll ye have
. Cowboy (blanching) Water. suppose
i, that's the only drink thet's free.
Is (Angriiy) do you mean, sir, BY
81 staring at my daughter. (With dignity :
sir, tits the inherent right OF every young
ie man to honestly admire beautiful
Of woman when he has the o portunity
1t Rssult-Old gentleman, proud and mol
le lifted, young lady pleased and blushing
l. young gentleman master OF the situation
II A Bridgeport, Conn, newspaper re
Of csntly printed the following advertise
ment; ''Chu Fcng would like small.
n nice Mclean lady. She 10 have to work
" as Chu Fong got big lot OF money. CHI
y, Fong will do the wsshee and cookie
10 wife She can dress up every day. PriE
| fnr han irI Rnnc "
Or How he Sold Them. Lady OF tn
Eouse-"I don't need any of you
burglar. alarms" Agsnt-"That's jus
what the lady next door said" Lady 0
the House Con the alert)-"Ssid what
Agent-"Thst it was no use OF me callinl
here, as you wouldn't need suy, bscaus
Ia you had nothing to steal, hut I though
ut L" Lady of the House (gEitting he
IN teeth )--"Give me three"
re Justice Lamar, who never accepts
g pass or present OF any kind, tells OF hin
ng self this one: Down in the locality
in call my home lives old John billiard
IL Some years ago John presented me wit
r. very fine Alderney COW. / said: John
of never receive presents 'Wsli, he II
u piled, Lamar, just give mo your nos'
ira and, as you will never pay it airy wa,
ch you will be nothing out ard q COW ahead
)m When the RunpOnt hsAdsfS9 We
its steaming up the river preparatory to ne
ne fight with the Alsbsma, the captain {
1w the former weasel found one of the me
he on his knees praying. The fnllowir
he conversation took place Officer WIN
at, are you dong there? Sailor-1 was in
al saying little prayer, sir. oMcsr-
on What for? Sailor-I was praying TIL
he the shot from the enenlv night BIZ ii
asst tributed like the prize mo- s; the great
le- part among the Officers
Ss Tricks Of Trades. New Clerk--"Th
I'm prescription calls FOR drug new
nix heard Of, and can't find in the books
It, DruERist-"Thst is one OF DR.. RioAspan
g / prescriptions. He uses fakedup nam,
an for siaple drugs, so that patients wi
ere have e. go TO CRtchem 4 Chestem'E dru
IA" store to get them filed. BE has hal
mr.. interest in the Arm" II see. VIII
ant shall I do ?" "Tell the messenger v
or. don't keep photo 1rsphic chemicals. The
EEK the family viii get scared and hi
tod smother doctor"
per She visa visiting her artist cousin
red stndio upon an Invitation to cTiticise
the latest work. 30 had the canvas upt
on tue easel, and occasionally touching
TO- up hers and there, would walk away
few PAGES theH turn to observe the effec
Fred" said she, tiuslly, II think
would be afraid ito turn my back ups
that picture and W TX away as you do
the had any desire to fniah it." why
M. 'tWhy, I'm almost certain that II l hi
OF painted that picture and should get
l69 ! likNta % ~ otuav FrnD1 IL wOul1 kaar