Mexico weekly ledger., 1890-08-07
THE LEDGER.
THURSDAY, AUGUST I, 1890.
WIT AND HUMOR.
Mr.. POkTER'S LITTLE LIST.

Nnen 90 you go 10 sea!
Which do you favor-the Players or Leasuei
How will you vote next year:
What do you take for Il jumping toothsche?
What do you pay for beer?
How do you live on a thousand a YEAR,
What do you think of our mayor?
How old will you be in the year Gi?
DO you wear your own natural hair?
How many teeth have you got in your head?
When do you pare your nails2
What's your when boxing for
Do you attend bargain sales?
What doyou pay for the red on your cheeks?
What do you pay for a sinner
Do you take mustard along with your Gus
Do you iish with a net or a linea
What do you say when you call on your grip
Are you stuck on her-Gce-whizi
Come OF. or III holler-hey! leggn my collar!
Remember it's government bizi"
N. Y Evening hui
Agame law-"Three of a kind beat
two pairs."-W Washington Post.
Those who get through the world by
making the worst of it work hard for
poor pay.-St. Louis Trader.
Mar was made to mourn, but he has
fixed things SO that his wife has taken
the job off his nds.-Bin9hdmton
Leader.
Have you a good cook?" "She's
very good-goes to church four times
week. She can't cook, thought
Baltimore Herald.
THE mans a brute. He threatened
to put a head on me-" And you let
the opportunity slip? You foolish
boy."-N. Y. San.
Wibble-"How hard it is for a poor
man to be honest" Wabble-"Maybe;
but it's no job at all for an honest man
to be poor.n-ierre Haute Express.
I'VE are going to have a picnic,r
said Mamie to her brother. so am
l." said he. ''How?" BY staying at
home from your picnic Washington
Post.
Clara" said he, Clara" Thorn
as" she whispered, Il do love you;
but aren't you a little mistaken? This
Is Friday night, and | am Sarah
Harper's Bazar.
1t is all up with the baby when he
takes a notion to cry at midnight.
Perhaps it is necessary to state that it
refers to the household in general
Ierrs Haute Express.
The time passed very pleasantly in
the parlor and it was not till the clock
and the neighboring bells struck one
that the l~ateness of the hour struck two.
philadelphia Times.
Western Man-"Now, candidly, sir,
what kind of a country is New En-
gland?" Boston Man (enthusiastical-
1y)-''It's Gods own country, but
SADLY the devils own climate
Weeks-'A town out West has dis
covered a brand-new wrinkle in the
faith philosophy" Simpson - I'm
deedm Weeks-''Yes; they're curing
hams by prayer!"-Amertcan Grocer.
Wife-"John Jones, you're a foolr'
Husband-"You didn't seem to think
% when l was single" Wife-'No.
you never showed what a big fool you
were until you married me.h-Epoch.
That's the p%orcupine, isn't its
What al u~gly-looking creature!" Yes.
It isn't what you would call an attract
i've animal. Still it has a great many
fine points about IT, Chicago TIL
kune.
This egg, madam" said the pro-
Ressor. with asperity, 'is not fresh"
Sir" said the landlady. g~raciously,
at was laid just one week after you
made your last payment."-Harper's
Bazar.
Get under that BALI" yelled the
captain, as the batter knocked a high
dy to center field. .All right!' replied
the fielder, running forward and then
stopping, Il Observation-Disclosures
Lampoon.
Husband-''You say 1 passed you
Wife yes" Husband-.I assure
you I didn't see YOU" .Wife-'I sup
pose not; l am not somebody else's
wife."-Ltght.
Charlie-"What an intelligent dog
Wildtire is, Miss De Witt. I actually
believe he knows as much as l do"
Miss DeWitt-''Yes. indeed; l wouldn't
wonder if he knew more than that Mr..
Featherbrane. "-Bostonian.
A mans capacity for endurance in
some respects change after marriage.
The lover that never grumbled at hold
Ing a 130-pound girl for hours grum-
bles if he has to hold a ten-pound baby
two minutes.-Paitadelphia Times.
Young Peduncle. Crying to be agree
able)-''So you've resigned. have you?
You are not the President of the
Shakerag Literary Circle any longer,
but just plain Miss Kajones." Miss
Kajones.-''Sirn-Chicago Tribune.
Maria, you will please start the
him." called out the parson from the
Doodely, who had accompanied the
vNara4rfo larrb<o~ bn-,a fro-, oLr~ok
took the hint and left.-N. Y. Herald.
NUDGE was robbed of my good
lame this morning" Yabsley-"Who
did it?" Mudge-.The census taker,
of course" Yabsley-''Well. he will
get two cents on it, and that is more
than you could do."-Terre Haute En-
prsss.
20, dear!!" said the lump of dough,
II declare to goodness if l amt most
worked to death!' Eyes: l see you
were kneaded," replied the oven; 'but
come rest in my ardent embrace and
presently you can loaf."-Rtchmond
Recorder.
Deacon Goodenough-'What do you
think Of our new pastor?" Tribula-
ton Jones-"1 helped him take down
his stove yesterday. and he never used
. single crossword" Deacon Good
snough-'.Let's try him with a foun-
tain pen."-BostOnian.
Crowd Tin elevator) - How soon
does this elevator 60 up, boyP" Ele-
yator Boy (reading)-'Jes' as 0 o as
I find out if the gal who leaped from
the cliff vas caught by her Teller, who
stood on the rocks M thousand feet
below."-Hdrper's Weekly.
Jarrett-"Peterson is absolutely the
meanest man 1 ever met! Do you
know what that fellow did when he
was married." Garrett-.'Whatp De-
clined to fee the Minister" Jarrett
Fee the minister! Why, sir. the
ushers took up a collection at the we'd
ding."-Ly.
Opposed to Ground F1oors--Broker
(persuasively)-It's a splendid OPP
portunity, and remember you get in
on the ground floor" Capitalist
Don't want it. Last time / was let
In on the ground floor / dropped right
through into q sub-cellar, and I've
been there ever since. No. you'll have
70 let me oA."-7szas Stftings.
Theatre Manager-"Some fool in
the gallery yelled .Firer at the top of