The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-05-04
MALLISTER ON FORM.
HE DISCoURsEs ON THE IMPORT
ANCB OF TRIPLES.
The Proper Way to Write a Note
How it is Possible to Give Ofense
by Ignoring Unimportant Details.


New York, May SIT certainly seems
to me. said Ward McAllister. recently, that
everybody should give studious and DELHI
crate attention TO the minor details OF
fashionable life. There is more chance of
making mistakes here ard ia giving serious
offenss than anywhere else. When il comes
to matters of Importance, the fact of their
Importance secures thought and care. aud
il mistakes are made comes from deliber-
ate stupidity and wrongheadedness. The
mistakes which are made about trihes,
however, come largely from thoughtless-
ness, and very frequently do not admit Of
satisfactory explanation.
1t is no unusual thing, for example, 10
find man or woman sending a note TO an
acquaintance or friend, and addressing
the envelope Mr.. John Smith instead of
John Smith, Esq.
1t would be difficult to tell, perhaps, why
IL is so, but Mr.. John Smith is felt to be a
mean and derogetory way of subscribing
the envelope, and it is a fashion never used
by careful people. John Smith, ESQ.,, is the
accepted formula, and unless the envelope
is addressed TO a tradesman or a man in a
distinctly inferior walk of life, it is the
formula which must be used. IL is not
even permissible TO use Mr.. Smith when
the first name of the gentleman for whom
the letter is intended is unknown. The
proper formula in such case as this is,
- Smith, Esq. / need scarcely say. how
ever, that the man who is driven 70 this
disagreeable necessity viii inform himself
rs TO his correspondents first name at the
first favorable opportunity, because the
most good-natured person will take it as
slight if the people whom he knows do not
remember his full name, and that consider
tnp nd faaI
of others, which we are bound
to have, demands enough attention TO
this point Ito secure accurate knowledge
l state the practice in this matter as |
would iii any other matter. and do not pre-
tend to explain or justify it. One obvious
reason, however, why it is better TO write
John Smith, Esq, than MIR. John Smith, is
because Mr.. and Mrs. are so much alike
when written that the letters for husband
and wife are very apt TO get mixed up. II
John Smith, Esq. is written. however, aud
the letters TO his wife are addressed Mrs.
John Smith, there is no chance OF any
such mistake occurring In England,
where the lines between classes are drawn
perhaps more distinctly than they are
here. the use Of Mr.. and Esq. is more
carefully distinguished | remember par
ticularly that nv friend Joseph Loubat was
very much annoyed when he entered his
yacht, the Dauntless, for race ON the other
side, that his name was entered simply on
the programme as Joseph Loubat, while the
English owners Of other yachts we're distin-
| guished by the supplementary Esq. When
| he called the attention Of the regatta COM
Inittee to this fact. they told him that Esq.
| in England was only affixed TO the name Of
a man who held property, and as he owned
no property I'm England thai description
could not be accorded him.
The laundering writer of a letter is very
,Iaxsk
| when he comes to write the note itself.
| This is particularly the case IL the CORE
| spondent who receives the letter fancies
| that the writer of it thinks himself superior.
| 1t is no unusual thing for writers to address
| correspondents as Dear Madam or Dear Sir,
even when their feelings are Of the kind
hest. This it not allowable under any cir
| cumstances IL you have any acquaintance
with Mr.. Smith at all you are
bound to address him as NY
| Dear Mr.. Smith, or simply Dear
| Mr.. Smith. If you are really intimate with
| him, Dear Smith or My Dear Smith is
permissible. OF course, in the intimacy of
| long friendship or Of kinship, more aifec-
tionate manners of address are appropriate
AS between Dear Mr.. Smith and Ny Dear
Mr. Smith, some authorities hold that Dear
Mr. Smith is less formal and more intimate
| than the longer and more elaborate phras-
| ing of the address. But this is matter
| which is not really Of great Importance,
and may be determined each one for him
| self or herself.
| The only case where the beginning of
note with "Sirp or "Dear Sir" is not indi-
cative of "A feeling of superiority on the
| part Of the writer, and his desire to keep
| the correspondent at a social distance, is
| where the note is hostile in its character. IL
| you have been unfortunate enough TO get
| into entapglements with some man or other
1 1. a -
| and you are addressing him concerning a
serious difference between you, even
amounting to a dilfereace which can only
| be settled by meeting on the field of honor,
| you address him az s'Sir,n or even "Dear
| Sir" The phrasing of such a note is, of
course. something like this:
''SIR: Your last note leaves me nothing
| to say except that my friend, Capt. Swift,
| will call on you TO arrange the details of a
| meeting between us, which / hope will he
fixed for as early date as possible. Yours
truly, Tom JoNEs.n
| need scarcely say, resumed Mr. McAllis-
ter, that when person is writing TO some
body whonshe does not know at all. and has
not known, the only way to get around the
difficulty, continually presented in such
cases, is to put the letter in the third person
and present the compliments of the writer
| to the correspondent, and inclose personal
| card. This also is a favorite mode for men
and women TO address people with whom
| they have business relations and no social
relations whatever. OF course this formula
will not do for dueling formula. 1t would
not do to write to a mortal enemy as fol-
| lows:
'Mr. Smiths compliments to Mr.. Jones
| and hopes TO meet him at the Elysian Fields
| tomorrow morning at TO-"
That is positively Gilbertian in its alb
/ surdity.
Having disposed of the addressing of an
envelope, which, by the way, is a very good
| thing TO do first and to do before you have
written the note, and having said what
was necessary concerning the proper way
Of beginning your note, the next
matter after the contents, which, OF
course, must be determined in each
case by the writer himself or herself,
is the subscription OF the note. Yours
Truly is the most formal and perfunctory
way Of introducing the signature. Yours
| Sincerely is coming into use in England to
certain extent, and Of course will be
taken up here. Faithfully Yours is also
formula which is securing some English in
dorsenent. and that in the long run means
an American Endorsement. The old form
of Your Obedient Servant, ETC., has gone
out altogether. Yours Respectfully Is only
used when addressing man in an official
position on a matter Of first Importance.
| Il is worth while to say something re-
garding the use of r. s. v. z. These initi-