Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1890-10-23

-'cripple hair" althoug h it would not
cut one cleGr and smooth like any good.
well-behaved razor ought to do. Once
more, then, he lathered his face and
had just nicely finished one side when
he heard a loud and excited ''Helloa,"
proceeding from the lungs of somebody
who had stopped at the front gate.
With razor still in hand, Uncle Bobby
stepped off the porch and around the
corner of the house to see who it could
be that had hailed him in so boisterous
a manner and on Sunday morning, too.
The individual who had thus SO brok-
en- in on Uncle Bobby's morning toilet
was none other than Jake Taylor, the
village postmaster, and that he had an
important communication to make, the
following will show:
''Helloa, Uncle Bobby" he exclaimed,
as soon as he caught sight of that per-
sOnage. 81 wuz jess comm Ground the
crick road an / seed Bill Honnicut's
hogs in that air bottom field a-wheat o
yourn. They're tearin' down shocks
an raisin' the devil 1 thought I'd bet
ter stop and tell you even eff it's Sum
day."
Much obliged, jake" replied the old
man. I'm go right down and git 'em
out" Then turning, he hurried back
onto the porch, laid his razor on chair,
seized a towel and wiped the lather of
his half-shaven face, snatched his hat
from its accustomed nail inside the
kitchen door and was hurrying away
when Aunt Polly stopped him with:
"Whar on airth are you a-goin' now, Rob-
ert?"
Them var dad-burned, dog-bited hogs
o. Bill Honnicut's has got into the bot
tom wheat-field an I've got ter 60 an
git 'em out; whar's Tiger"
Pap Givensr CALCULATED the old lady,
do you know what you're a-sayin'?
Dom: fergit that you're an elder in the
church an this is communion day, too"
'sOh, go long, mother. l hain't got
time to listen ter you now. Yer. Tige.
yer, Tige, yer. yerr'
The dog came bounding out from I'M
der the porch, his accustomed sleeping
place. and the old man, foaming with
wrath, set off, Tige at his heels, Ito get
them fetch-taked hogs outen the wheat"
An hour later he returned to the house
only to find fresh troubles awaiting him.
As he came up the steps there sat his
two daughters, Tillie and Callie, both
in tears. while from the inside could be
heard the shrill tones of the old lady
alternately scolding and wailing over
the ill-luck which had this morning be-
fallen them. "Oh! pap" said Title,
the younger of the daughters, and her
self buxom, rosy-faced girl of eight
cen; "Oh! pap. what do you think? Cal
and went to hitch up old Doll to the
buggy, and the mean old thing got
away from US with the harness on,
jumped the bars in the boss lot. an she's
way out there in the back pastur' now.
Whatn we do? It's time now we wuz
gettin' ready for meetin.."
''Goshermighty" exclaimed the old
fellow in despair. .'what on airth1l
happen next, wonder? WALL" he
continued as he took of his hat, and,
sinking down on the steps. began TO
wipe his heated face. 'wall. gals, unless
you kin go an drive her up she'll
hev to stay thar til git leetle mite
rested. I'm too nifty nigh tuckered az
now to go racin' Ground after that ole
heffer."
The girls demurred to that proposition
and went upstairs to finish their cry
while Uncle Bobby quietly stole intf