Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1890-12-11
PiTH AND POINT.

No, Indeed, no Pi.-Editor's wife
''Do you like pie. dear?' Editor
Heavens, No."-Yankee Blade.
Teacher Ito class)-s.What is We
locity?' Bright Youth - velocity is
what man puts a hot plate down
with"
-Sunday-School Teacher. Now,
scholars, what do you understand by a
movable feast?'" Pupil-.'A picnic. -
America.
Indignant Young Man-''Waiter,
your coatsleeve dipped into this lady's
soup" Obliging Waiter-"Don't mem
ton it, sir; it will wash out What
kind of fish, please?"
"A Boston clergyman, in an evident
~ hastily-written advertisement asks
for "a Young man to take charge OF
span of horses of religious turn OF
mind. "-Christian Reporter.
-Rider-'I would like 20 sell this
horse; he's just eating his head off"
Walker-"Wcll. 1 think that will i'm
prove him. Brooklyn Life.
The Absent Friend. Isn't
Adele an enthusiastic dancer?" Maud
Yes, poor girl: she is getting to an
age when she must be."-Puck.
Where's the proprietary asked a
man as he entered a downtown restau-
rant. He's gone home to dinner. sir, !"
replied a waiter. Bazaar
A Good Word Belle lin pout)-
Haven't You one good word to say OF
nv lover?" BesS-.'Yes, indeed. Belle,
dear, he has a very pretty name."-
Yankee Blade.
He Had-"Beg pardon, sir. but
haven't you forgotten something's" said
the waiter to the guest who was depart
ing. "Oh, yes. my umbrella! Thanks,
awfully.-West Shore.
Think that young doctor under
stands his business pretty well?' II
think not. I heard several of the older
physicians praising him yesterday
indianapolis Journal.
That Settled It-'I'm the most inn
portant animal in the show" boosted
the sacred white elephant Nonsense"
roared the lion. I'm the name attrac-
ton myself. "-Chicago Inter-Ocean.
"A Suggestion. What did the editor
say about that last story of yours, Fred?"
said it wasn't worth the paper it was
written upon.'' why don't you try
poorer paper next time?"-Yankee
Blade.
What part do I take?" said Chap
pie. You are to be the heroine's
father" replied the stage manager.
what does he do?" 'He dies ten years
before the curtain rises on the first act"
New York Herald.
Mamma Ito Little Nellie)-"Would
my little girl like to go out with mamma
and look at the stars?" Little Nellie
''Oh, yes; and I want you to show me
the dog-star, mamma-that is if it's
muzzled, SO it can't bite. Epoch.
Mr.. Ticks-"Adam was certainly
in great luck" Miss Wickles-''How
was tbat?" Mr.. Ticks-''Why, when he
got wife he had only to give up a rib;
and now it takes all the backbone a
has just to think of getting married. -
Boston Courier.
-"Blobson,' said the millionaire,
'here are twenty begging letters.
Give them all refusal" Yes, SIR"
| You will note that two-cent stamp is
inclosed in each for an answer" Yes,
SIR" We'll, answer them all on pos.
| tails. "-American Stationer.
classification. - What, my child!
You danced last night with the Colonel?
And he goes to balls while he yet wears
| mourning! What light man he must
be!' 20 but mamma, really you should
have seen how beautifully sadly he
dancedr' Batter.
-Amateur eatricals.-"And what's
my part to be?" asked Chollie. 1--WE
written the part for you and I know
you'll do it we'll. You are to be the
Idiot Boy who witnesses the murder,
and doesn't tell until the last act" re-
piled Scribuler.-N. Y. Sun.
Miss Flighty-"Here is an account
of woman of great intelligence who is
deaf, dumb and blind" Miss Giddy-
"Does it mention her address ?" Miss
Flighty-"No; why ?" Miss Giddy-"I
was thinking what a lovely chaperon
she would make. America.