Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1890-02-02
EE KNEW HIMSELF.
The Sad, Sad Tale of Hasty Second
Marri age.
From The Detroit Free Press /

From the Detroit Free Press
A stranger riding along the road leading
across Possum Ridge noticed, as he neared
an old log shanty, an old gray-haired man
sitting out on the woodpile nursing his
head. Coming nearer he reined in his
horse and accosted the old man with:
"Good morning"
''Mornin', stranger"
'You appear to be sick"
'Do, ehF'
ayes, you do"
"Wal, Pm not"
"Whafs the matter, them"
Fright smart the matter"
Nothing serious, l hope"
81 reckon it air putty serious"
'Some great troubleW
''Reckon so"
'Nobody dead?'
'No, but l wish they war"
Excuse me for inquiring into your af-
fairs, but am anxious to know what your
trouble is. May be could help you out
o. it."
81 reckon not, stranger. Didn't nobody
help me inter it, an l guess can't nobody
help me outten It,"
"WhaI is your troubIe?"
"ATy grettist trouble, stranger, lies in
my bein' er dinged fool"
"Oh, no, don't think that"
"Think nothin'; | know it. Pm not only
er dinged fool, stranger, but PM wuss. Pm
er natrel born, all wool, double an twisted
ijiot Fm er hull derned ijiot ersylum
billed down inter one ole fool That's what
l am, mister"
'You are TOO hard on yourself"
A.. Il IL l. Z i
say so if yer knowed me. Say, do look
like er man as had er lick O. sense ter his
back ?"
YES certainly"
"Then | deceive my looks"
"Why, what has ever got such ideas into
your head ~
"You never kuowed ole Beck Parks did
yer?'
"No, never did"
"Wall, yer fortnit thar, stranger, an l
wish | could say as much. Say, | war
merried erlong time ergo to er good oman
an we went erong as pesable an quiet
like es yer ever see, though ther
neighbors all said l wus too hard on
Randy when | let her do up ther
feedin' an tote up ther wood an
hoe ther corn crap, but she never COM
planned an | reckon 1t war all right.
Neighbors alus hev to tall, er-
bout things what don't consarn 'em.
Wal, es I said, men Randy went
erlong all right till one day last
month, she tuck down with er fever er
Just after gittin' ther corn gath
cred, an ther fust thing | knoEd she up
an died. | kinder hated it at ther time,
stranger but Pve hated it good bit wus
since"
81 suppose you miss her?'
"Wal, yas' some. But it ain't so much
that as it air other things. Yer see, last
week tuck er notion to marry ergin. Peo-
pie said it wus putty soon after Randy's
dyin', but | thought 1 knowed my
own business, an l gun to feel ther
need ev er wife ter dig the taters an
shuck out ther fodder an tend ter
ther other leetle matters erbout ther
house, so ! gotter fgerin' on who I'd AK
ter hev me- | thought O this un, an that
un, as' t'other uu, an at last settled onter
ole Beck Parks an rode over yesterday an
axed 'er ter hev me-"
'And she refused :"
"Nary a time she didn't. 1 wish to
ther Lor' she he'd Std O that she tuck
me up quicEr'n scat, an we got merried,
an she's in ther house thar now."
''Are you sorry you married her !"
stranger, dyer see them broom han
dies, an cheer posts, an dishes, an things
all scattered around thar? AM dyer see
them thar knots on my head, an that thar
eye Almost punched out, an that thar nose
broke squar in two in ther middle"
"Yes, | see them"
oval, then, yer needn't ter AK me ef Pm
iorry married thet ole Yarmini. Wouldn't
yer be sorry under ther circumstance?
perhaps"
"P'raps, nothin'. Yer know yer would.
An that haint ther vast ov it, stranger.
rher ole cross-eycd critter jest vows up
IN down that she won; dig them taters,
Ter she won't DO the feedin', ner
he won't git up theT wood, an Pm
Hinged if bleeve she will. Tekin every
hing together, mister, dom it pear right
mart to you ike es if l wus er derned
col w
eyes"
"Say. if yer meet anybody as wants ter
1T holt ov er billed down, concentrated
iiot asylum, send 'em down this way, will
'eY
An excentric old German living in the
1e lf.l..o,.tr.o 10 fla