davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-23
WHY he SHOOK CHICAGO.
A Kalamazoo Mnn Exposes Trick of
Windy City Merchants.

A Kalamazoo Man Exposes a Trick Of
Windy City Merchants.
Chicago TrIbune.1
Luther Latin Mills: had some business
once in Kalamazoo, and while I was wait
ing for the train whiled the time away By
talking to young man whom I met 10 q
grocery, store. "HaVe you always lived in
Kalamazoo I asked, by way of starting q
conversation.
"No," he replied, IT used to live in Chi
cago."
1 said I was going to Chicago.
Live there ?" he asked.
1 said 1 did.
"Well, I don't want any Chicago in
mine" he said, "and I hope it won't get
the Fair"
He seemed so much in earnest thatI asked
him what was the cause of his grievance.
"Well," said he, 81 was clerk in q
grocery store down on State street. The
proprietor told me one day to 90 down in
the basement and do up pound Of tea for a
certain man who lived down Prairie avenue,
did it, and wrapped the tea in some COM
mon wrapping paper. About two hours after
the tea came back with the information
that the purchaser didn't drink no such
common tea as that. The proprietor took it
in back room, emptied it into a silk tea
paper, tied it up with q fancy card, and
sent it back. The next day the purchaser
came in aud told the boss that was the finest
tea he ever tasted in his life, but that the
first tea wasn't fit for sick kitten, So I
shook the town."
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-23
From WaverIy, Ohio.

Prof S. Z. Smith, Principal of the High
School and a reliable man, says: "On the
recommendation of A. II. Dean, druggist
of this place, I tried Chamberlain's Cough
Remedy in my family for colds and Group;
it is most excellent remedy and 1 believe
will do all claimed for it." Many druggists
recommend it to their friends because they
know that it can always be depended upon
and give their customers perfect satisfaction.
For the same reasons more druggists use it
in their own families when such femedy is
required than any other one medicine in use;
50-cent bottles for sale by E. G. Stuckey,
Seventeenth and Twenty-fourth sts., Penn
ave. and cor. Wylie ave. and Fulton ST.;
Markell Bros, cor. Penn and Frankstown
aves. Theo. E. Ihrig, 361O Fifth ave.; Carl
Hartwig, Forty-tbird and Butler sts., Pitts
burg, and in Allegheny by E. E. Heck, 70
and 1874 Federal ct; Thos. R. Norris, cor.
Hanover and Preble aves.; +. II. Eggers,
172 Ohio St, and F. d. Eggers & Son, 199
Ohio st. and II Smithfeld St wsu
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-23
A BOY MILLIONAIRE.

Only 10 Years Old. Yet Possessing q
Fortune of S5.OOO,OOO.
New York Morning Journal.
Worth ST, 900, 900 and only 10 years old.
This isthe state OF affairs with little Marshall
Roberts, the son of the late millionaire,
Marshall o. Roberts. He is the youngest
millionaire in town, and one OF the richest.
There are hundreds of children in New
York who will probably some day inherit
one or more millions. but little Marshall
Roberts already inherIts his vast fortune,
and in IL years it will be entirely in his
control.
His father was one of the great merchants
of the day, and when he died some four
years ago he left an estate valued at $10,-
900, 900. The little boy did not have his en-
tire fortune bequeathed him, because there
were other claimants with equal rights
to it.
When Mr.. Roberts died he was an old
man. His widow, one of the beautiful
young society women of our metropolis and
the mother of little Marshall, was his sec
ond wife. His first vile was 30 years her
senior, and had daughter who is now Mrs.
Ames Van Wart. Mrs. Van Wart has
daughter, Miss Evelyn Van Wart, who is 20
years old. This makes young Mrs. Roberts,
who is now but so, stepmother to a lady of
40 and step-grandmother to a young lady of
20, and the little millionaire of 10 uncle to
a maiden twice his age.
When Mr.. Roberts died he left will
dividing his money between his wife, his
granddaughter and his little son. The son
has half of the fortune for his own use, but
until he comes of age his mother is to have
the income from s., 900, 900.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-23

Are bachelors and maids happier than
married folk2 1t is big question, and per-
haps will find as many voices in the mega
tive as in the affirmative, but my individual
answer would be, The single person cannot
be as unhappy az the double one, and al
though the bliss Of married life such as I at
first described is great, so. is also the misery
of an ill-assorted or disastrous marriage. The
loneliness of loving heart is hard to bear,
and the longing Tor protecting and Sympathet-
ic companionship is very sorrowful and de-
pressing, but the burden Of enforced COM
panionship with husband who has become
an object OF aversion and terror is great
deal harder to bear, and the slavery Of de-
pendence upon an unwilling and grudging
master is far more bitter and uncomfortable.
It is, after all, good deal like gambling;
you stake your dollar and you may win i've
or you may lose all Probably the wiSest
plan, certainly the most obvious advice, is;
Don't put up your dollar
Mrs. FRANK LESLIE,
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-23

was helped on board. "no horses this time
flush decks and plenty of room-you are the
only passenger and can have the whole cabin
to Yourself"
The fasts were loosened and the Seven
Pollies sped away with the wind abean,
There was great futter of handkerchiefs on
the wharf, and Mrs. Partingtou, standing
alone at the stern rail, waved to the distant
hutterers benediction with her umbrella.
Ike had seized white tablecloth from the
cabin table and swung it from the main rig
ging. and soon, the dear ones lost to sight,
the Seven Pollies was alone on the waters.
%%%x$x
On the morning OF the eighteenth day the
man stationed aloft sang out, Light, HOP
pilot was taken on board, and by midnight
the Seven Pollies was secured at her berth
at RiVertoWn. B. P. SHILLARER.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-23
RAILWAY COMPAEI'S LOSS.
Claims That Must be Met and How They
Originate.

Originate.
Freight Agent, in Globe Democrat. ]
There is a large amount of kicking against
the railroad companies by the business pub
lie, but there is very little said in regard to
the heavy losses they frequently sustain.
One Of the most common sources of annoy
ance that we have to contend with is that
of claius for lost goods. There is COM
paratively little freight actually lost
but the freight trains are con-
stantly subject to the depredations of
thieves. Dishonest employees is a fruitful
source of loss to the railroad companies. It
will be remembered that some time since a
barn full of stolen freight was located in the
vicinity of Venice, ILL.,, and the goods had
been accumulated in very snort time by
an organized clique Of employees. Another
case was that of gang of employees which
established depot for their stolen property
in New Mexico, and many cases OF goods
were sent to it from points in Illinois and
other places equally distant.
The extensive steal of gang of the Penn
sylvania Railroad Company's employees, in
which the company lost $500, 600 worth of
goods before the gang was finally appre-
hended, is we'll remembered. It sometimes
occurs that boxes of boots or shoes are
opened and few pairs are taken out, the
box nailed up and sent to its destination.
Only a short time ago we were called upon
to settle tor case of boots which had been
opened by some one who failed to find pair
to fit him, and in mailing up the box he
drove nail through one boot, completely
running the pair. There are various other
ways in which goods are lost or damaged in
transit, but the public never seems to be
aware of it.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-23

pondered the new problem, until she card
him say that though fortune was hard he
could ''grin and bear it." and she rene M
bered the Donnerblatt man of the Seven
,Pollies! He wore, apparently, the same
clothing in which she had formerly known
him, but it was darned in places and far
from clean. his Panama hat broken at the
crown, through which his hair protruded
and his boots revealed battery of bare toes.
BEEN HAVING A HARD TIME.
"Ah. Dame Partingtonn exclaimed he,
recognizing her, extending his hand She
took it and awaited further communication.
''Had hard time of it" said he; STUN at a
discount among the Dutchmen. Couldn't
understand is. Knocked down hundreds OF
times for punning. Ridden on a rail for
joking. Ran tor life scores of times Every
door closed against ME. Paper stopped on
my account. Banished at last with threat
to hang me if should return. And here 1
am, going home, but devilish poor; and can
you loan me bit or two to get q bite OF
something? See,''
WELL" said she seriously, SCI am sorry
to see you in sucn an abstemious condition,
and am surprised that you should have been
treated so when all on board the vessel
thought your humOr so sIperhuous."
"The treatment received in connection
with the DonneT6tdtt, said he, was super
ffuous, thank you for the word-and could
have dispensed with it altogether; but will
you believe it, ma'am, that when / left the
people gathered torescort me to the line, and
every vegetable raised in the place was
hurled after me, and hit me, too-yams, tan
niers, okroes.- bananas, plantains-too nu-
merous to mention, very good in their place,
but not agreeable as missiles. Can you ae-
commodate me with a few coins for imme-
diate use?',
She felt deep down into her pocket, and,
bringing certain coins to the surface, she de-
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-23

national flag was hoisted on one fagpoIe
and her number on the other. At last, when
almost tired Of waiting, the American flag
(or what intended as such, consisting Of
three stripes and five stars) was swung out,
followed by the number of the brig. The
joy at the arrival Of the brig was marred by
the paucity of the ensign.
Look here" said Ike to the Lighthouse
keeper, what do you mean by hoisting up
thing like that?''
"What thing?'
"Why that flag. The flag amt no Amer
ican flag, and you'd better believe it. You're
afraid OF 1t, that's what's the matter, and
you may have more cause to be yet, tell
you"
''You little himp," said the man, "get
away with You with your brag or I'll punch
your ed"
''YOu think you're darned great things"
said Ike, shut, let me tell You, we've licked
you twice and can do it again. No you
don't" as the man made grab at him,
very angry.
stop your talk, you little beggar," said
the irate Lighthouse tender.
"Whacher goin' to do about it?" said Ike
=" Twas right of here somewhere that the
Peacock was sunk in Is minutes by the
Hornet, and don't you forget it. Have you
Bob ncr up vet!
This last shot drove the man mad, and he
made dash for Ike, who darted away, Ieay-
Ing the irate official to think it over and
cool of.
x&<Ex&
The length Of time permitting the Seven
Pollies to remain in port admitted of ample
preparation, but Ike packed his trunk at
least fortnight before time The time of
parting came at last, and Mrs. Partington,
as she took leave Of her friends at the cot
tage, said:
MRS. PARTINGToN's GOODBYE.
Il am sorry to leave you, we have been
so long assimilated, but the best of friends
must part and the warmest ties be consum-
msted. shall always hold you in the
most fagitious regard And you, nv dear
May, if you are as happy as 1 wish you,
there will never be any discrepancy in your
lot"
The servants came from far and near to
bid goodbye, and then quite procession of
friends walked down to the wharf to see
them on board the Seven Pollies, whose
colors were hoisted in honor of the occasion,
The trunk had gone down previously upon
a dray.
''Well. auntie," SAID Captain 81, as she
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-23


Then follows a long story about how
Brother Johns chickens have been scratch
ing in that cross Mrs. Twosticks' garden,
and how she has threatened to sue Brother
John for damages, and, OIL wasn't it ridic-
ulous!-until ten minutes have passed, and
still Mrs Smith has not gone.
Presently she rises again. "How l am
staying!' she exclaims again.
At this moment enters Mrs. Robinson.
Mrs. Smith is fond of Mrs. Robinson and
must remain for Just moment more. Her
moment" consists of ten more minutes.
Then she starts again, pausing in the hall
for five additional minutes and on the door
step for five minutes more. Mrs. Brown
and Mrs Robinson have both accompanied
her to the door and all three ladies affection
ately exchange remarks until Mrs Smith is
fairly out of hearing.
CARRIED AWAY BY TRIPLES.
They do not like to see other ladies do
this, but somehow there is almost always a
reason Ehv they should do it themselves.
Many a really we'll bred and estimable
lady, carried away by the trihing enthusi-
Rsm of the moment errs in this respect.
MIR. Howells refers to the usual rustic
difficulty in getting away" but this rustici-
tY, it such it be, is not confined to the rural
districts; it occurs everywhere, and is a con-
slant source OF ridicule among men when
they discuss-as, S, alas! they are fain to do
the fOibles of their sisters and wives.
1t is really mark of at least lamentable
forgetfulness of good manners, if not a to-
ken of positive i'll breeding, to dawdle and
delay in taking ones departure, and this
rule, like nearly all of the views OF good So
cIety, is founded upon reason. The well
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-23
ARE WE EVER HAPPY?

Mrs. Frank Leslie Finds n Variety of Oplu-
ions From Variety of People, All Un-
satisfactory-Areh Married Persons Hap
pier Than Singles
TwRITTEN FOR THR DIsPATcH.J
A little while ago was asked to write
brief paper answering the question, What
was the happiest moment of your life?
Ireplied to that, and truly the happiest
moment Of my own life was the one in
which could lay before those whom they
concerned the proofs that had fulfilled the
great task OF my life, had paid the last
penny Of Frank LeslIe's Indebtedness, and
cleared the memory of that noble man from
the stigma of debt which clouded his last
moments.
But, alter all, was that a moment of hap
piness? A moment of satisfaction, mo-
ment of triumph, moment of honorable
pride-yes it was all this; but the bitter
ness Of the strife through which that peace
was conquered, the lonely weariness of labors
beyond my strength, the yearning for the
word of loving thanks could never hear
all these came in, and so embittered the
sweetness of that thought, so dimmed
the glory of that sunshine, that after all 1
canDot call it q moment Of happiness.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-23

which opened upon the corridor, was full of
them. Justices, counsellors, witnesses and
spectators jumped upon their feet and rushed
out
When Mrs. Partington came In she had
spoken of the beautiful "rotundity" which
spanned the center Of the building, and here,
for years had been the home of myriads Of
bats, which, for some cause, had been dis
lodged on this bright morning and were per-
forming blind race, dashing about in every
direction-helter Skelter. pro and con, to and
fro, up and down-stirring up things gen.
orally. The corridors were filled with Judges,
jurors, solicitors, spectators, witnesses, beef
eaters, talesmen and bummers, all engaged
in fighting the bats that swept down upon
them.
Judges and lawyers swung their horse
hair wigs, jumping up and beating the air,
and Mrs. Partington with her umbrella,
which she always carried to keep off the
suns rays, made spasmodic dash, striking
one of the judges under the ear, knocking
his wig off, revealing head as bald as a
plate.
The bats were soon subjugated, and things
resumed their former quiet, but Mrs. Part
ington had seen enough of court dignity,
and moved away under the green cotton
umbrella. They passed on through the
market, collection Of booths, where, drink
ing glass OF ginger beer at one Of them,
was one she thought she recognized. She
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-23

that the spirit OF my angel mother has ever
been near to guide and shield me when
temptation assailed me. And how shall I
pain that angel, whose presence and in
Auence I can almost feel with me here to-
night by breaking that pledge? Shall I
take drink with your"
"As concluded I extended my hand
toward the liquor, but before could reach
it q pistol shot rang out and echoed through
the canon, and the jug was shattered In
many pieces. At the same instant an old
scout named Bill Reed sprang to his feet
with the smoking pistol still in his hand
and shouted:
TRUE AS his BULLET.
"'No, you sban't drink; and I've just
signed the pledge with that thar bullet.
had jest sich mother, Jack, an she talked
to me jest as your'n did to you; but was 9
wild boy, pards, an soon fergot her teach
in's, although they come to me all sprinkled
with my mothers holy tears. But look
here, boys, when tn noise O. that shot
reaches her up In heaven, the smile that
oughter been on her face when she died II
git thar, an tn peace that her dear SOULS
been a-longin' for IL snuggle down in her
breast, fer think that God IL give her tn
power to realize th't shot was her own Bills
pledge.
"a few moments later the group was scat
tered. I sat with Bills hand clasped in
mine encouraging him to keep his novel
pledge; one or two of the men Law looking
into the fire with thoughtful faces; others
strolled about gazing at the ground, or sat
on rocks in moody silence.
THE SCENE WAS CHANGED.
Gone was the rollicking song; gone was
the Bacchanalisn song; gone was the liquor
inspired whoops and yells. One might
have thought that the rough, daring men
were brooding over the loss of the whisky,
but they were not. Their thoughts had
gone skimming over the back trails of their
reckless lives.
''They were thinking of mother"
Those that heard the pathetic little story
seemed strangely affected, for when they
took leave of Captain Jack few moments
later they seemed to be initiating the actions
of the rough frontiersmen out in that lonely
canon in the West. And perhaps they were
thinking of mother. Who knows.
WILSON.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-23

EALLY I must
&c, =" re m ark s
Mrs. Smith to
her friend, Mrs.
Brown, upon
whom she is call
sing; 81 am stay
ling altogether too
long"
"Oh, don't hur-
nv, q" rejoins her
hospitable host
ess.
"Thank you,
but I must go.
Therel 1 was al
most departing
without telling
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-23

First tramp (vAking up)-whas town i
dis?
Second Tramp-Chicago, I guess; I iuUt
heard q man say I'VE viii have it.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-23
IKE AND HIS MOTHER.
Their Very EVentful Visit in the
Tropics Concluded at Last.
MRS. PARTINGTON GOES TO COURT.
A Myriad Of Bats Disturbs the Serenity Of
the August Justices.
HER GREEN UMBRELLA sP0ILs A WIG
WRITTEN FOR THE D1sPArcH.1
CHAPTER *.

On the arrival of the Seven Pollies, Cap
tain Petton brought a demand for Mrs.
Partington's return, the next voyage, to be
witness in case, affecting balance of
$40 II, against the estate OF the late Paul
Partington. This had long been in contro-
yersy. till patience being spent, if the money
wasn't, it had hardened into suit at law.
A strong point in Mrs. Partington's charac-
ter was justice, especially where her interest
was concerned, and she resolved to return,
as proposed. She was further induced, on
being informed by 81 that the money bad
given out by which she was enabled to re-
main so long in retirement.
''To 60 before a judicious body" said
Mrs. Partington to her hostess, "and tell all
you know irrespective of the truth, must be
very imperturable to the nerves, and L
would very much like to see court in full
possession"
''The bench is in session here now," re-
piled her hostess.
"Well, said Mrs. Partington, "the bench
may do as far as it goes, but it seems to me
they might have something easier to sit on.
want to see the judges and CONSIDERS and
powers of eternity that we read about, to get
an idea Of the dignity and propensity of
court of justice"
81 mean the court" was the reply, 'they
call it the bench here, and 1 will go with
you to the public building where the court
is held"
II thank you; you are very commodious,"
said Mrs. Partington.
The court had not come in when they ar
rived, and they were admitted to the spec
tators' seats, though the form OF Mrs. Part
lngton was recognized and there was a de-
bate among the officials as TO whether she
should not have place within the bar.
THE ATTACK OF THE BATS.
"Court p was now heard, and three judges
in gowns and white horse-hair wigs took
their places, the counsellors, also in gowns
and wigs, taking their seats within the bar;
everything grand and dignifed. Gases were
called and given to juries, old affairs were
disposed OF, new matters were called and
solemnly assigned, when, as one of the
judges had arisen to give some formal
npinion. hat struck him full in the
face, and in q moment the room
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-23
a Limited COuver.n.,Ou.

Time.1
May 1speak with you minute?''
"Yes, If you don't want more than .
dollar"
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-23
HANDsHAKING VERSUS KISSING,

Do not kiss your friend goodby unless you
are very intimate with her. The kiss is too
sweet and sacred token to be banded light
ly about among mere acquaintance. A cor
dial hsndshake is enough to indicate your
genuine regard. Il well-known club for
women. one bright rIember recently proposed
that reform amo lg the entire sisterhood
should be inaugurated.
'Let us begin, F" she said, cleYerly, "by
paying attention to what our children saw to
us, and trying TO answer them accurately; BY
noticing just what is remarked to us in gen.
erRl society, and by replying to such remarks
to the very best Of our ability. Women are so
apt to be only half attentive to what they
consider trifes.''
II is indeed worth while to consider that,
often, "trifes discover character more than
actions Of importance" George Eliot some
where tells US: sit is in those acts called
trivialities that the seeds of joy are forever
wasted"
It is sometimes very funny to near the
. linked sweetness, long drawn out" of the
goodbys o: women; but, until they learn to
reform in trifes like these, it will be i'm
possible to convince sReptics in the matter
that women are anything but the incon-
seguent, Unbalanced, silly creatures which,
ever since literature began, they have been
set down to be.
The dignity of the whole world of women
demands a reform.
KATE UPsoN CLARK.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-23

The corner Of Broadway ana 18th &c. Is a
location well adapted for hotcl such as Is the
StuIteTant House. Its proprietors can never
tell how much Of their success q due 10 ne
central location.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-23

No cure no pay, is the motto of Salvation
Oil because it cures every time. Only 25c.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-23
HOW WOMEN SAY GOODBY.

Always Something More TO Say After the
Hostess Has Been Informed That Her
Caller Must Goa Little Feminine
weakness That Should be Reformed
rwR1rrEN FOR THE DIsPArCH.I
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-23

balanced and well bred woman does not for
get what she was going to say; she restraints
her spirits somewhat-in fact, she is likely
to be almost too well restrained. 1t is bet
ter to err in this direction, however, than in
the other. The fashion OF gushing" to
use vulgar but expressive term, is hap
ply past. 1t is now the period of the icv
and the ornamental" "Repose or man
ner" has "come in'' again. Can we not
strike happy medium between too great
indifference and th e other extreue9