The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-09-03
BRIGHT BITS

"A HAPPY HEART makes a blooming yisage."
So does poor whisky.-Detroit Free Press.
SATAN smiles when he sees young person who
believes there is tun in being wicked.-MtLIouu-
kee Journal
THE MEN who never paid anything else will
surely have to pay the debt OF nature. -AShldnd
(Wis.) Press.
The SABBATH was made for all men, and that
is probably why some unselfiSh souls don't try
to keep it.-Terds SUtinoS
IT Is A MYSTERY how some physicians retain
their practice until we learn that their patients
carry life insurance. Whites de Herald.
OLD CooUETTE-Ten years of my life would
willingly give If | could only make myself
twenty years younger. -Flie9ende Blatter.
The oeNvIvIAL MAN doesn't care much for a
STORED urn but an animated bust" is fire.
quently very much to his liking Washington
Post
FIRST Boy Ito second boy, who has been fish
ingl-Catch anything?
Second Boy--I haven't been home yet
Racket.
Mrs. JAsoN-When they tie up a railroad
they don't actually use rope, do they?
Dlr Jason-No; it is generally done with a
string of resolutions.-Terre Haute Express.
HE-What beautiful moon that is, darling
Could you ask for better one?
She (tired of waiting for him to PROPOSE
Yes George, honeymoon.-Ltp pincott'S Mag
dztne.
A, TO HIS CHANCE RooMMATE-Do you think
then, that am a thief, that you put your peck
etbook under your pillow?
"Oh, no; but like my head little higher. -
Fltegeltde Batter.
GONE down out of that apple tree! What
are you up there for, anyway"
Il only got up because when / was under
meath the apples kept falling on my head -
Ftegende Batter.
GEORGE NJ. PULLMAN, the parlor aud sleeping
coach Cresus, was originally a carpenter al
A bon, n. Y, where he was born. Many of the
porters, also, began life quite modestly, -
| Philadelphia LEDGE.
| Put not your trust in slot machines, o my
| brother, for have ye not noticed that whef
! bribed by Il single dirty nickel this same an
paratus always gives you weigh?-Ne1O YORK
| Commercial Ad0ertiser.
| Manhood evening, May. How do you do
see very little of you nowadays.
May-How could you? Why don't you come
| to NEWPORT, you dear girl? Now, speaking Of
bathing suits, -AmericGn Grocer.
81 trust you are on your way to heaven" re
| marked clerical looking man to a chance &C
quaintance on the train.
mo. sir" replied the latter. Fact is. I am
| bound for st. Louis. "-Chicago Inter Ocean.
"WHAT is that horrid noise in the kitchene'
1T is our new cook. She's altogether toe
| conscientious Just because she has burned
the roast to a crisp, she feels that bad over it
she's smashing all the crockery. -Phtladephso
| Times.
| SECRET SERVICE OFFICIAL-This special mis-
sion requires a man of the utmost delicacy
tact and diplomacy. What credentials have
| you?
Applcant-Ive jest been umpirin' a baby
show Puck.
MISS ERNEsrE-CIara Larker came near being
drowned yesterday.
Miss Paule-Realy?
Miss Erneste-Ycs; Lord Randegger proposed
to her just as they were diving off the float, and
she said yes under water.-Jud0e.
Amy--Fred, hear that your engagement
with Miss Blesser is brokeni
Fred-Yes, it is.
Amy-It must have been built on sand to fall
80 soon.
Fred-I thought it was founded on rocks but
discovered she hadn't any.-Aunsey's Weekly