The morning call., 1890-06-01

with considerably more energy than usual.
A little before lunch she was dressed in her
best and in one of the large dry-goods stores
on Market street.
"What can l show you," asked the polite
foor-walker.
"A-a-peignoir. if you please" said Mrs.
Grumphy, rather hesitating on the pr0nun-
citation of the word.
The dignified gentleman smiled. ''Oh.
ah, yes-thls way, please" and he led her
to the extreme end of the store. "Peig-
noirs, please" he said to the young man in
attendance.
About what price. madame"
SHOW me some" said Mrs. Grumphy,
with the air of a millionaire's wife.
When he placed comparatively small
green box on the counter. and she saw
nothing but underwear around her, she
thought there must be some mistake.
Here is very handsome one, lace and
embroidered yoke, pretty collar and cuffs."
why. this is a night" exclaimed Mrs.
Grumphy in Mortified establishment, but
just checking herself in time not to let the
clerk see her Ignorance. Yes, that is
very pretty, but-I-I'll take a less elab-
crate one" Now, she did not need such a
thing, as her wardrobe was well supplied
with that article, but she would buy one to
pass her mistake off easily. He showed her
several She examined them closely, and
found 'Peignoir' in gilt letters on little
paper pinned to the neck of one, which she
ordered sent home. Then she left
Anal what a joke she had on her dear,
wise Grumphy-it was almost too good to
keep, but as she was no gossip, she kept it
to herself and had many little unconscious
laugh during the day that almost frightened
the children, who saw her laugh for nothing
and knew she had been i'll.
Mrs. Grumphy had a nice dinner ready
when her pet" came home and was nicely
dressed to receive him. But, good gracious!
what was the matter? His hat was drawn
over his eyes, his handkerchief nearly COW
cred his face and he almost staggered.
What is the matter, Pet?" Mrs. Grum-
ply exclaimed, before he was fairly in the
house.
Toothachew and he slammed his hat to
the end of the room and threw himself
down on the lounge.
That's too bad; have you tried anything
for it?" asked Mrs. Grumphy. sympathetic
cally.
Don't be fool, Mrs. Grumphy; I've
tried-tried-a thousand remedies. Every
clerk in the store told me perfect cure.
I've stuck pin in the nerve. Ouch! I've
-Ive plastered my face with cobbler's wax.
I've held brandy in my mouth till-till can
hardly see. and oh, it is just raging" and
he got up and kicked the tootstool across
the room, then nursed his toes awhile
Let me put on some vinegar and brown
paper" said Mrs. Grumphy.
g Do you take me for Jack and Jill?"
Don't be so stupid; it's my TOOTH" ex-
claimed Mr.. Grumphy, kicking over a
chair. The children ali gathered around.
s. Got the toothache, pap" asked the
comedian. Mr.. Grumphy glared at him.
Why don't yer pull her outp" but his pa
made dive for him, and az he slipped from
his hand Mr.. Grumphy fell on the floor.
Now | suppose you are all satisfied
when you've nearly killed mech! ouch!
" Bear it patiently, my dear, and come to
dinner"
PATIENTLY why, you would make a
sain1 mad. Amt l patient?" and he
slammed the pillow off the lounge and the
fancy tides onto the floor.
"Come, come. eat little bit"
Mrs. Grumphy, shall commit murder
if You don't let me alone. Dinner be -
hanged"
"But you must have strength to speak at
the meeting tonight"
THE meeting can go to the bottom of the
sea- Ohl' roared MIR. Grumphy.
Dressed in his best suit of clothes" sang
the comedian under his breath. s
"Why, Grumphy, is that the command NJ
nerves you boosted OFF, Is that the musical