Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1890-03-22

MRS. Clancy, you ,NsH scatch- hfm."
IL have been reading over your letter
Of Thursday last, dear Steven" wrote
Miss Trayers, "and there Is much that
feel ought to answer. You and Kate
are very much Of mind about the
temptations with which am surround
ed; but you are far moro imaginative
than she is, and far more courteous.
There Ia 30 much about your letter that
touches me deeply that want to DO frank
and fair in my reply. have been dane
ing all this evening, was out at dinner
before that, and have Inade many calls
this afternoon; but. tired rs am, my
letter must be written, for tomorrow
will be but the repetition Of today. Is 1t
that / am cold and utterly heartless that
] can sit and write 30 calmly in reply to
your fervent and appealing letter?
"Ah. Steven, It is what may be said Of
me; but, II cold and heartless to you.
have certainly given no man at this gar-
rison the faintest reason to think that he
has inspired any greater interest in him.
They are all kind, all very attentive. ]
have told you how well Mr.. Royce dances
and Mr.. Merton rides and Mr.. Foster
reads and talks. They entertain mo
vastly, and do like It. More than this,
Steven, am pleased with their evident
admiration-hot alone pleased and proud
that they should admire mo who am
pledged to you--not that alone, ] frankly
confess, but because It in itself is pleas
ant. It pleases me. Very possibly it is
because ] am vain.
"And yet, though my hours are con-
stantly occupied, though they are here
from morning till night, no one of them
Is moro attentive than another. There
are five or six who come daily. There
are some who do not come ut all. Am
wretch, Steven? There are two or
three that do not call who l wish would
call. l would like to know them.
"Yet they know--they could not help
it, with Kate here, and l never forget
that l am your promised wife. Steven,
do you not sometimes forget the condi-
tions Of that promisef Even now, again
and again, do not repeat to you that
you ought to release me and free your.
selff OF course your impulse will be to
say my heart is changing-that have
seen others whom l like better. No;
have seen no one like as well. But is
like what you deserve, what you ask?
And is it not all have ever been able to
promise you? Steven, bear me witness,
for Kate is bitterly unjust to me at
times, told you again and again last
summer and fall that did not love you
and ought not to think Of being your
wife. Yet, poor, homeless, dependent
as nm, how strong was the temptation
to say yes to your pleal
"You know that did not and would
not until time and again your sweet mo-
ther, whom do love, and Kate, who
had been o mother to me, both declared
that that should make no difference; the
love would come; the happiest marriages
the world over were those in which the
girl respected the man of her choice;
love would come, and come speedily,
when once she was his wife. You your
self declared you could wait in patience
you would WOO and win by and by.
Only promise to be your wife before re-
turning to the frontier and you would he
content. Steven, are you content? You
know you are not; you know you are
unhappy; and it is all, not because am
growing to love some one else, but be-
cause l am not growing to love you.
Heaven knows want to love you; for
SO long as you hold me to it my promise
is sacred and shall be kept.
More than that, il you say that it il
your will that ! seclude myself from
these attentions, give up dancing, give
up rides. drives, walks, and even receiv-
ing visits, here, 30 be II. ] will obey;
but write this to me, Steven-not to
Kate. ! am too proud to ask her to show
me the letters know she has received
from you-and there are some she has
not shown me-but cannot understand
a mans complaining to other persons Of
the conduct OF the woman who ia, or is
to be, his wife. Forgive me il l pain
you; sometimes even to myself seem
old and strange. have lived so much
alone, have had TO think and do for my
self so many years while Kate has been
away, that perhaps I'm not like other
girls but the respect feel for you
would be injured if thought you strove
to guide or govern me through others;
and Of one thing be sure, Steven, must
honor and respect and look up to the man
marry, love or no love.
"Once you said it would kill you II
you believed could be false to you. If
by that you meant that, having given
my promise to you to be your wife ut
some future time, must school myself
to love you, and will be considered false
II love do not come at my bidding or
yours, say to you solemnly, release me
now. l may not love, but cannot and
will not deceive you, even by Stimulating
love that does not exist Suppose that
love were to be kindled in my heart.
Suppose l were to learn to care for some
one here. You would be the first one to
know it; for would tell you as soon as
l knew it myself. Then what could
hope for-or you? Surely you would not
want to marry girl who loved another
man. But is it much better to marry
one who feels that she does not love you?
think Of it, Steven; ] am very
lonely, very far from happy, very
wretched over kates evident trouble,
and all the sorrow l am bringing you
and yours; but have misled or deceived
you in any one thing2 Once only has a
word been spoken or scene occurred
that you could perhaps have objected to-
l told you the whole thing in my letter
of Sunday last, and why had not told
Kate. We have not met since that
night, Mr.. Hayne and !, and may not;
but he is man whose story excites my
profound pity and sorrow, and he is one
OF the two or three feel that would
like to see more Of. Is this being false
to you or to my promise? II so, Steven, |
you cannot say that have not given you
the whole truth.
1T Is very late at night O'Clock
and Kate is not yet asleep, and the cap-