The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1890-09-23
He Discourses on the Art Of Drink
ing and Gives His Pro-
gramn1e.
A Kentucky Gentleman, Sab
Makes a Deep Study Of the
Art
The Gener:;;s Contempt for Young
Preacher Who Did Not Drink but
Loved His Daughter.

IA Kentucky gentleman, sab, SAID the
old gentleman to Washington Star re-
porter, drawing his tall person up with dig
nifty as he Stood glass in hand, before the
bar. makes study en- connoisseur of the
art of drlnking-an art, sab. which If
shamefully neglected now -a-days, by CAD
In this commercial age such unceasing ac
tivty is exercised in pursuit of the elusive
dollah that g man who expects to sustain
the competition and get along in the world
is really obliged to keep sober nearly all OF
the time. That beautiful old fashion of 6
century ago, sanctifed by hundreds of years
of hospitable practice, which made it the
fashion for the host to gently strive with
his guests ut dinner over the wine cup unit
both he and they had to be dragged
out from under the table and car
ried up to bed by the servants
in the small hours has fallen almost
wholly into disuse. Actually i'll our day
or rather | should say your day, my boy
young gentleman is considered to
be dlsgraced if 4 little over exercise of the
elbow Incidental to an exchange of courte-
sizes with his friends has rendered him per-
ceptibly unsteady on his pins By CAD! it's
fact, though you'd scarce credit it. It re-
minds me of a story my friend Col. JAY
bird, was telling me the other day about a
hummer who saw Salvation Army process
sion passing. with a banner that read: we
bend the knee. but not the elbow What
the hummer said was: i never did believe
in that demmed habit of drinkin' out of
the bung- hole But you must see for your
self that general social intercourse, which
in all ages of the civilized world has been
more or less on an alcoholic basis. may suf-
fer in the quality of its results by reason of
the abandonment to a great extent Of slim
ulants. Why do you know, a young cier-
gvman of no condition by birth, and with
out parts worth mentioning, had the impu-
dence to ask me one day for the hand of my
youngest daughter. Said in reply:
i would like to inqulah, sab, on what
you base your demand for my daughter in
marriage?
THAT posed him Just little. but he man.
aged to staminer out:
~ have $500 year. General, and no
bad habits
" Such bad habits as what, sahT l asked.
Il drink nothing, at all events he said.
"'Drink nothing! l replied. And do you
imagine that that will serve as Il recon-
mendation to me? In my time, sab, it was
considered the thing for young man to
have few gentlemanly vices, and even Il
sucking person did not despise a share in a
flask of good Bourbon or a bottle of wine
without rubber nipple on it,
$50 | did all but kick the clergyman out
of the door. But the only thing bothering
me now is that my daughter is determined
to marry him, and suppose | shall be COM
PEELED to yield sooner or later.
But to return TO what WAS saying about
the art of drinking. In its highest develop
ment its first principle exists IN not becom-
ing intoxicated. 1t is worth while to have
n sort of programme when one is really
ii, a ,nt trpy WIT H..
flowing bowl.
For instance. to begin with. suppose
that | wake up at my country house in tho
morning after slight over-lndulgence III
stinlulants the night before. The first thing
| ask for is a bottle of ice-cold beer. Per-
sons less experienced in the art of drinking
tnan would howl for a cocktail at once,
but that would be altogether inconsistent
with propriety in such matters. A cool
bntl, not too cold is the proper thing next,
and thereupon Il second bottle of beer. An
hours lounge naturally follows. and that in
turn IS succeeded by a we'll constructed
Manhattan cocktail, compounded of whis-
key and vermouth. Then l have my man
make for me an elaborate toilet. which is in
itself refreshing About 1870 get down to
breakfast and swallow second cocktail,
likewise prepared by my man.
AT breakfast do not use more than two
wlnes-a sound Bordeaux and some good
Sauterne, with a bottle of polly water for a
freshener. The breakfast itself must be
highly seasOned-a steak. chop, or a
grilled bone. with fried potatoes and black
coffee. After breakfast am ready to take
two or three drinks of mellow whisky, not
less than seven years old. with water and a
cigarette for an accompaniment. Then [
am ready for ride or drive, in the course
of which drop IN at the houses of friends
and partake of what they may give me in
the way of ,iuleps and SO on. Returning
home, swallow a plain whisky cocktail, 90
to my room, and make, with the aid of nv
man, another elaborate toilet.
Coming downstairs in my dress coat
and linen, take still another cocktail as a
preparation for dining. This makes me
feel entirely we'll. and l am in my best
mood for entertaining my guests converse.
tlonally, while keep myself up to the mari
during the repast by taking my share OF
sherry, claret, champagne, port, hqueurs
and brandy to top off with.
AT 1880 .. N. the ladies go to bed and
retire with the other men to the smoking
room. The only thing in the way of refresh
ments wanted there are cigars, whisky anC
bottle of apDoliinaris. | am then pre-
pared to converse until 1870 m, taking
doses OF whisky and water at intervals OF
half an hour About l:30 is naturally pro-
posed something to eat. which natural,
serves as superstructure for more whisky
turn III at $50 or thereabout, and get ur
viz CAV ihoiliils oetNeel ~ ana IL, pre-
pared to repeat the course. This can be
kept up with agreeableness for two weeks
and can conscientiously say that during
that period have not been really intoxi>
GATED once and at the same time have no,
been sober for one moment. After two
weeks of it am likely to feel tired but
have lived. In a fortnight of such conviy.
lal indulgence it may be justly said that s
man can see more, experience more and &C
throuSh more phases of emotion and OF
thought than teetotaler can eccomnlisb !,
lifetime. Such was the philosophy of the
fine old English gentleman, which so wei
lasarvaS iu,i yot, wa