The great West. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1889-18??, 1890-09-19
Jokes Of Johnny Rebs.

Once General Hardee came acros
q straggler and asked him why b
did not travel faster and keep up
with his command" The soldier
wished to know ''wlnat in the deuce
he had to do with it,
''Only that | am General Hardee,
the commander of this department,
was the reply.
"Oh, you wrote a book on tactics,
did your"
II did," said the General.
'Well," said the private. II have
been taught according to your rules
how to double column at half dis
tance. Now l wish you would tell
me how to double distance on half
rations."
General Hardee stuck spurs to his
horse and Travelled ON.
Early in the war one of the men of
a South Carolina brigade was on
picket duty (so-called1 near Manas-
sas. There was not a Yankee
within twenty miles of us at that
time. The next day there was to be
an inspection, and our hero had tax
en- his gun all to pieces and was rub-
bling it up SO as to make it shine the
next day when inspected. While so
doing General Barham, who was un-
known to the soldiers (who was a new
recruit), rode up. "What are you
doing there?" said General Barham.
ooh, am a kind Of a sentinel, who
are you, anyhow"
ooh, am only a kind Of a Briga-
der General" was the answer.
"Hold on; wait until l get this
darned old gun together and | will
give you a kind of present." said
the sentinel.
But General Barham did not wait
He went off and reported the luckless
soldier, who in a short time, found
himself "a kind'' of prisoner in "a
kind" of a guard house and had to
do number of extra hours of duty
as ga kind' of sentinel.
On one occasion man from
Georgia had been very persistent in
personal application to General Lee
for Through. One morning the
General asked his tormentor if he
understood the position of a soldier.
He was ordered to assume it. Gen
eral Lee then gave the command
fright about face; forward, march. "
AS he never gave the command to
halt the Georgian kept on march
ing until he got tired; but this little
hint cured him, and his next applica-
ton was through the usual channels.
When General Malone was wound
ed at second Manassas some one, to
comfort Mrs. Malone, said: ooh,
don't be uneasy; it's only flesh
wound" Mrs. Malone. through her
tears cried out: "Oh, know that
is impossible. There is not flesh
enough on him for that
don't know whether this is a joke
on the General or the private. A day
Or so after the old Firstreached Ma
nassas Junction, in August, 1861 ONT
of the men, who did not clearly com
prehen1 his position, had the impu
dence to ask General Beauregarc
where certain big guns that hae
just arrived from Richmond Woul6
be placed" The General replied
young man, if the coat on my bacl
knew the secrets of my head I woulc
cut it in pieces"
On the Peninsula the gallant ant
Jolly General Bankhead Magrudel
had ordered meal for himself ant
staff. A hungry reb-and who eve
saw one who was not hungry?-cam
up to the farm house, espied tn
nicely filed table, and without leav
or license, sat down and began tt
annihilate things Just then tn
General and friends walked in, escort
ed bv the host. All were surprised
Halt" said fiery Magruder, il
terms more explicit than polite, cd
you know whose table that is yo1
are eating at? "No, SIR" said job
Reb, with his mouth full. "Whose i
it,"
General Magruder's sir, the com
mander of this department.
''All right General" with anothe
big mouthtul. "These war times
: amt particular where l eat or VIII
l eat with; sit down and make your
, self at home"
! The foraging private was uncert
moniously fired out, but not befo1
he had nearly gotten outside of
pretty square meal.