Morning journal and courier., 1890-03-27
RIPE.
Generally speaking-Women.-Life

Generally peaking-Women.-Li Luck never gets ripe enough to drop down. Chicago Light.
 forward and struck him on the optic, and a minute later his alter ego was in mourning. :" "His whatp inquired his fond parent. "His alter ego his other eye, you know."-Boston Transcript.
 Hello, cab" Cabman (pulls up his horse l with dificulty}-"How much to % to the
 railroad terminuss'' 'Fifty cents" "Thank you; wanted to know how much had to save in case I should want to go there. l Fliegende Blatter.
 MT. Lushforth-Do you remember how 1 encef
 Mrs. Lushforth-Oh, you are yet, or you
 would be if you didn't go out so muoh.-
 Terre Haute Express. l Husband-Ain't you ready yeti Wife-Ill be ready in minute. I've only l got one glove to put on. Husband (sighing)-One of those TO- button glovesl We'll, Ill sit down and write four or 1 five more letters.-Texas Siftings. l Afflicted at Birth. - Miss Thirty-eieht 1 (coyly)-"What a pity 1t seems, MT. Somer-
 lori" MT. Somerset-"Yes, Miss Thirty. eight, it does seem pity, but can't help it. You know was born so."-Somerville Jour. 1 nal.
 MT. Gotham-s'H 'Hortense, am going to the l dog show to-day and I'll buy you pet. What kind of a dog shall it be2" Mrs. Goth. l am-"Let me sse. We are going to the sea- l side next summer. We'll, you may get me an ocean greyhound. d."-Burlington Free Press.
 Mrs. Gazzam-I'm sorry to say that I can't break my husband of the habit of using his toothpick at table. Mrs Laker (of Chicago - have no trouble of that kind. My husband never uses 8 toothpick. He takes 8 fork.-Muusey's 's Weekly.
 'Why, Schenlel, what's the trouble, that you're limping soa Anything wrong with the
 foot?"
 ''No, but Wednesday is my wife's birthday and I've been wearing some pebbles in my
 boot for the last two weeks so as not to for
 get t."-Philadelphia Times.
 We overheard a man this morning ex-
 plaining the difference between the regular
 and the extra session of the legislature.
 This reminded us of the old lady's states
 ment of the difference between pain and
 misery. One comes and goes," said she,
 "and the other stays with us."-Nsshville
 Banner.
 Ouo hlSSou ulu do uo gave uoI Suo ouSoSo- ment ring. "George, darling have always
 longed for one of this pattern and you are
 the first who loved me sufficiently to study
 my tastes in the matter" "And yet," re- piled he, leveline things up, 'it is no rarity, as in my engagements have never used any thing else."-Burlington Free Press. Auguste villemot says of himseif "When wrote in L'Independence Beige, the com positors, if spoke of the repertoire classique
 of the French comedy, never failed to print
 the repertoire elastique. One day went to Brussels expressly to touch the competitors
 hearts; they promised me that no error should again occur. The following week spoke of 1 a man with an elastique conscience; they
 printed it classique conscience. Exchange.
 Circumstances Alter Cases.-Northern man (down in Florida) a)-"What's the price of that | orange grovea" Nstive-"Ten thousand dol lars, mister. Had the consumption long?" "Consumptionl I haven't consumption.
 "Just weak lungs, may bel" 'My lungs are
 sound ss a dollar. I am merely looking for
 a good place to locate; doesn't matter to me
 whether it's north or south, east or west. , l "Ohl We'll, I'll let ye have that grove fol l $250."-New York Weekly.