The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1890-07-20


Trot was better known or more highly re
spected than Old Cado Minks. He had
never held Office, had never killed anyone,
had never been director general at the
hanging of a horse thief, and had never at
tempted any sort of social reform, and yet
he was placed upon high hill of esteem.
But there was reason for this. Old Cado
owned distillery. He made blazing ap
pie brandy and the colorless whisky known
as ''white mule,' and in that community
money may be respected as kind of side
show, but whisky is the circus. A wreath
of tender regard may surround fast horse,
but a chaplet of love is placed upon the
brow of ''licker.m No wonder then, that
Old Cado held so warm a place in the
hearts of his countrymen.
One day the neighborhoodw was profoundly
stirred upon learning that Cado's wife was
dead. What positive Joy it was for the
women that went to the house to offer their
assistance; what a pleasure it was to the
men that stood about whiting the rail
fence and casting anxious glances toward
the house to see if Cado were coming With
the jug.
When the time for the funeral came,
Parsons Hobbs and Strawfoot. They were
not of the conventional cloth, having merely
taken out exhorters' licenses from the
county court, which granted them the
privilege of ''whooping it up'' at camp
meetings, but also giving them the right,
upon pinch, to preach funeral sermons.
Hobbs was short and fat: StraWfoot was
tall and lean. Hobbs beloved when he
talked; Strawfoot wheezed like dry
pump.
what did you come here for?" Hobbs
asked, turning to Strawfoot.
81 came here to preach this here funeral, -
Strawfoot answered.
wall, now, you may preach all you
want, but you shan't put in your hooks till
get through
''We'll see about that: l come here to
preach this here sarmon, an Pm goin' to do
it or see mighty plain reason why writ up
on the wall.''
"Oh, don't you fret about the reason. Ii
will be writ plain enough
THAT mout be, but you can't write it."
81 reckon kin, for | have writ good
many things in my time. I've writ things
that would make you bat your eyes,
Come, parsons said an old man, leaV-
ing off his whiting and addressing the eX-
horters, don't git into iower here. Old
Cado is sore afflicted, an it will tech him
nightly in the quick to see you quarrellin'
1t don't make no difference who breaches it
so it's preached, au' reckon one of you kin
preach it as well as the other. Hush, now,
all hands. Here comes Cado with the
Jug"
The old distiller gave each eager man g
drink and then as he placed the jug under d
tree. remarked:
Il flowed to myself just now that hearr
somebody iowerin'.''
''Yes,'' Hobbs answered, sit war Straw
foot''
beg yo' pardon" said Strawfoot ''it
war you. Brother Cado, L come here tt
preach your wife's funeral, but this fellel
lows | shan't."
Let him talk as much as he pleases
Brother Cado," Hobbs reioined, ''but le
me tell you that l come here to preach tina
thar funeral an Pm going to do it o.
feathers will fly round here like snow
flakes in the month of Jinnywery. have
had my eye on the dear deceased ever sine,
she tuck bad cold last fall, an now dom
propose to be cheated by no fly up tn,
creek
''What was that you called me!"
81 didn't call you nothin', but l stan,
here fiat footed an say that l amt goin' t
be beat out of my jest rights by no fly u
the creek. That's what L say. You cam
preach no how"
1.-The deuce can't. TIl leave it to tn