davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1890-10-02
oRANKs ON eLroralolrY.


People who Garry worthless cnrbons "a
Improve Their Health.
"Do you 500 that man there who has
just picked up something from the edge
Of tho sidewalk2" asked a gentleman
we'll posted on electrical matters OF the
writer "Ile has Che latest fool craze on
the brain, for no has been following that
electric light tendor about for the last
ten minutes, in order to gather few OF
the stubs OF the electric arc light car
bons which arc thrown away These he
will carry in his pockets, under the in
sane impression that some OF the cleo
tricity left over from last nights light
ing may soak into his system and ease
up tritle on some pain or other.
"Poor fellowl He is more deluded than
the man who wears q potato in tho left
hand pocketof his trousers to cure him
of rheumatism. Why, there is no more
electricity in those carbons than in the
bread that follow may havo eaton for
breakfast.
sit is astonishing" continued tho
speaker to the reporter, what queer
notions some people have about wearing
electrical and magnetic appliances The
theory is quito universal that magnet
ism attracts the iron in the blood and
thus gives rise to a better circulation.
But all the iron which exists in the
human system is combined with hydro
chloric acid and is in the form OF tho
oxide OF that metal, and in this state
the magnet has no power over the
oxide OF iron. A person may stand be-
tween the poles OF the most powerful
magnet ever manufactured, and which
would be strong enough to hit
hundreds Of pounds iron, but he would
never feel the slightest effect OF mag
netic exertion. either for good or ILL., II
a mans blood should not circulate until
it is started up by magnetic effect upon
the iron contained therein it would not
circulate more than once in an average
mans lifetime.
THE passage of current of electr C.
ity through the body is another matter.
This may benefit the system by agl tat
ing and perhaps decomposing certain
portions OF the tissue. A little electric
ity, however, goes a great way in this
regard Physicians, in giving this sort
one-thousandthso OF an ampere. From one
to three amperes, passed through the
vital parts of the human system, would
be positively dangerous, for the tissues
can not stand so violent an agitation.
In order TO force this volume OF electric
ity through ones system, pressure of
several hundreds of volts is necessary,
owing to the resistance OF the body.
"And now, my friend" said the cleo
trician by way parting injunction, III
you should ever have an uncomfortable |
desire to try the curative effects of this
mysterious element called electricity, |
don't try to get it by wearing old cleo
tric light carbons in your poc&ets, nor
yet sandwich yourself between the poles
OF a big alternating current dynamo, but
go to a reputable physician and have him
administer the electric fluid. You will |
find tho latter course much more health
ful. ."-MashinRton Post
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1890-10-02

found that a wild fondness for society was
one of his most notable characteristics.
He was always under some ones feet.
My wife declared 'the little dear was
lonesome" so let it 60 at that.
Another rapidly developing character
istic about lIiawatha that worried me
more, was his passionate and continu-
GUS longing for grub. My wife excused
1t by saying "the little dear was grow
ing" There was no denying that fact;
Hiawatha 'cas growing. could notice
IL every day. Still, it did not seem as
though the rate Of growth justified Hia-
watha's appetite.
The Mulfords had been gone just a
week, when my wife met me one even
ing on my return home, with a terrified
fade, too terrible to look at. "Tliawatha, +"
she exclaimed, breathlessly. "Iliawa-
tha's got the Group, and know the poor
thing will die. He's in the nursery.
Hear him wheeze."
Hiawatha did wheeze. for a fact. You
could hear him breathe all over the
house. The kid stood on the baby's bed,
in the nursery, apparently unconcerned
tHbuEus hitatuAHN away iiht II Nh- -llpts
and looking for something TO eat
Il can't understand IL. exclaimed my
wife. This attack came on so sudden
", and I've done everything ! could
think Of for it; hot applications and all.
same as we do for baby Besides. I've
been 50 careful about Iiawatha's food
and exercise ever since we've had him.
] can't understand it,"
suggested "castor OIL I knew I'd
have TO say something, and castor oil
was all could think Of.
"Do you think it will do any good2"
''Of course il will" said /. Go and
get some.-
When the castor oil was brought, I
poured out about half the bottle in a
saucer. My wife offered to put little
on his tongue. II held him, so he
couldn't run away. and held his mouth
open wide. Hiawatba listened while
all this plotting was going on. and sub
mitted with very good, because unsus-
pecting. grace, while ! pried open his
mouth. Hiawatha wheezed louder than
ever. Ny wife gritfed her teeth to pre-
pare for the ordeal. and held the dread
ful dose to his lips. As soon as Hia-
uatha whifIcd the stuff. he struggled
hard to break away from me. but mol
away from the castor oil Tie stuck his
nose deep into the saucer. and in CT
ac:ly two gulps and three laps he bar
swallowed the whole Of is Then Hia-
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1890-10-02

kid, like gloves and chamois skins are
made of.
Nevertheless, the Mulfords thought
as much of that infant goat as if it had
been one of their own kids-of course
1t was their own kid--as If they had had
kid OF their-hang this slang bust
ness, anyway It's always getting a
fellow into trouble.
Well, the Mulfords thought as much
of that kid as If it had been a poodle
dog, or pet cat with personal histo-
ry. They nursed it and coddled it, and
fed it nice things, in way TO make
person wish he was kid again No,
not again wish he was a kid. The
way the Mulfords used to talk up that
kid was a caution. | can see it now, in
the cool, calm deliberation OF thought
that distance lends; but. at that time,
~ Hbs6rberso much Of Ghe enthusiasm
from next door, that began to think
that goats as class, were a much ma
ligned race, and ] began TO look with
suspicion upon the paragraphcr who
poled stock fun at the goat family.
began to impugn his motives and to
fight shy OF him. Now, think, as
bheba said Of Solomon, the half has not
been told. It was after / had been
brought into this first condition OF
mind that Mrs. Mulford camo over one
day and asked us if We couldn't keep
dear little lliawatha" for them for a
few weeks. Mrs. Mulford breathlossly
explained how they had been invited to
visit Mr.. Mulford's sisters folks at the
seaside, and that she was "just dying
to 60" but, Of course, couldn't take
little "Watha" with them, and that she
wouldn't think Of leaving him with any
one who wouldn't take good care Of him.
But she knew we would 10 so kind to
the little fellow, and so she felt sho
could trust him with us. 1t didn't take
very much persuasion to get our hearty
consent to ,Gok after the kid as though
he were one Of our own little ones. SO,
after leaving numberlcss directions as
to little Hiawathas dict, hours for
sleep, bathing and general exercise, all
of which we promised to faithfully car
ry out, the Mulfords left for the sea-
shore.
1t did not take Hiawatha long to get
acquainted with our family; in fact, he
seemed to know us real well from the |
start As we became acquainted with |
Hiawatha's many traits OF character, we |
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1890-10-02

There are some patent med
icines that are more marvel
lous than a dozen doctors
prescriptions, but they're not
those that profess to cure
ess,ytAfng.
Everybody, now and then,
feels "run down." played
out" They've the will, but
no power to generate vitality.
They're not sick enough to
call a doctor, but just too
sick to be well. That's
where the right kind Of a
patent medicine comes in,
and does for a dollar what
the doctor wouldn't do for
less than five or ten.
We put in our claim for
DIR. Pierce's Golden Medical
Discovery.
We claim it to be an un-
equaled remedy to purify
the blood and invigorate the
liver. We claim it to be
lasting in its effects, creating
an appetite, purifying the
blood, and preventing Bilious,
Typhoid and Malarial fevers
If taken IN time. The time
to take it is when you first
feel the signs of s0ea,zness and
qoeakwcsS. The time to take
it, on general principles, is
NOW.
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1890-10-02

ought TO have palliating effect on
this, my first offense. But be that as it
may, II am ever going to breathe my
experience to the world, now is the ac-
cepted time. The grand jury will be in
session in Chicago next week; and II
wait, my opportunity will be lost for
ever. Now, anybody who don't want to
hear what have to say on the goat
question may get ont and walk,
Early last spring, the Mulford family,
next door to us, got kid. Not real,
live, human kid, but a genuine goat
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1890-10-02

There is a curious illustration OF the
ups and downs of life in workhouse
near London, where one Of the inmates
was the original proprietor OF a noted
cattle food, which from first to last must
have brought in millions OF money The
poor fellow commenced his downward
course with lawsuit which cost 500, =
600, and since then has drifted into abb
solute poverty
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1890-10-02

How few have any material sympathy foi
youth at that period when

How few have any material sympathy for
youth at that period when
NStanding with reluctant feet
Whore the brook and river meet"
They are urged forward BY Natures stern
decree 20 assume tho powers and duties Of
manhood aud womanhood, And yet tbls Is
the most critical point In tho voyage OF hu-
man life. Then It is that tho danger OF a
shattered nervous system reaches It's crisis
and Ignorance seizesi its opportunity to plant
tho seed Of future ill-health and misery,
Then IL is tho Quack secures his victim and
his purse This is the occasion when the
hand OF experience should take the hand q
inexperienco aud guide its feet 10 the solid
rock upon tho farther shore. At the ap-
proach of puberty nnd during the first years
Of this new order of being, there are weak
oning tendencies that should be guarded
against A medicine that has the power TO
strengthen the various parts Of the body
and TO regulate and give control TO It's varl-
GUS functions Is essential at frequent inter
vals Such medicine has the eminent Dr.
John Bull, OF Louisville, Ky, given TO the
world 1t is known as DR., Bulls Sarsapa-
rilla. Don't fall into the hands Of quacfs,
but demand this remedy Of your druggist;
Take no other It's exactly what is needed
aud will carry you safely through TO
strength and robust health.
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1890-10-02

4 Yen ,saat the ss.ti Haadreds q r-s5a-N
afes in positions rdeuHmE udel hY leading Il
L hrus e. nrllf wt have e. Dickson school \
81 @hurf-luui. kansF- tIrF. so Circulars
uFEAsE THIS rarrl srs-r taas -
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1890-10-02

A GREAT mistake perhaps was made when
DR.. Sherman named his great remedy Prick
ly Ash BITTERs, but it is presumed that at
that time all remedies for the blood, etc ,
were called Bltters. Had he called il Prick
ly Ash "Regulator,r "Curatiyen or almost
anything but BAtcrs, it undoubtedly would
have superseded all other preparations Of
similar character. The name Bittcrs is mis-
leading; it IS purely q medicine, and cannot
be used as a beverage.
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1890-10-02

curry up, and out through defective
place in tho top Of the tube, and little
Hiawatha died soon thereafter.
After it was all over, got TO think
ing how badly we had been treated by
Hiawatha; and yielding to tho impor-
tunities of patent medicine man, who
was something Of taxidermist ! sold
him. thought it better lliawatha
should be stuffed, than to be cut up and
made into four-button gloves.
When the Mulfords got home, in an
swer to their request for Hiawatha had
to take them down to DR.. Gilead's Office
There, on table in his front window.
stood Iliawatha, as natural as life, with
this inscription pinned to card on tn
side of the case;
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1890-10-02
COMMON sense teaches US that a thorn

COMMON sense teaches us that thorn or
splinter in the flesh must be removed be-
fore the part can heal Malaria in the sys-
TEN must be destroyed before health can
return. Shallenberger's Antdote for Ma
laria does this and health returns immedi-
ately. There is no other known Antidote.
Sold by druggists, or sent by mail for one
dollar. A. 4. Shallenberger a. Co., Roches-
ter, Pa
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1890-10-02

HAVE been an invalid since my sixteenth
year, until five months ago, began use Of
Dr. Bull Sarsaparilla Now at the age of
twenty three l feel myself, for the first
time in my life, n man filed with health and
amSition.ssI WAIT +dr - pubisfsrris, af-
though do not sign my true name james
Smith, Lexington, Ky,
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1890-10-02
By steamer. TraIn OF noatg

Which OF these have you selected as Q
means of trayeli No matter, Whichever
IL is, recollect that for sea a-sickness, disor
ders of the stomach, liver and bowels, en-
gendered by rough locomotion and bad food
or water, and for malarial troubles, Hos
totter's Stomach Bittors is the most useful
specific you can take with you. IL is inyal
uable also for rheumatism, kidney com
plant and nervous trouble.
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1890-10-02
beware OF OIntments for Catarrh That
Contain Mercury.

as mercury win surely destroy the sense of
smell and completely derange tho whole sys-
tenn when entering II through the mucous
surfaces. such articles should never be
used except on prescriptionsfrom reputable
physicians, as the damage theywill do Is ten
fold 70 the good you can derive from them
Halls Catarrh Cure, manufactured by II j.
Cheney a. Co, Toledo, o contains no mer-
curry, aud Is taken informally and acts di-
Of the system, In buying Halls Catarrh
Cure be sure and get the genuine. IL is taken
internally, and made in Toledo, Ohio, by L.
j. Cheney a. Co.
Sold By Druggists, price 75c per bottle.
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1890-10-02

MY dear" said the caller with a
winning smile, to tho little girl who oc-
cupied the study, while her father, the
erinent literary man, was at his dinner,
81 suppose you assist your papa by en-
tertaining the bores?'
yes sir" replied the little girl,
gravely, "please be seated. Chicago
Tribune.
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1890-10-02

ALL disorders caused by bilious state Of
the system can be cured by uNing Carters
Little LAYER pills. No pain gripping or dis
comfort attending their use. Try them.
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1890-10-02

THE rorH best iCqp to know whether or not
Dobbins Electric Soap Is as 0oof as it is said
10 be, is 10 trB u pOaTSeU 1t can't deceive
p0u Be sure TO get no imitation There
are lots Of them Ask your grocer for just
one bar.
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1890-10-02

DELAYS are dangerous. Don't wait for
your child 70 have an epilepuc NJ Kill at
once the worms that are making her feel so
poorly by giving DR.. Bulls Worm De
strOVers.
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1890-10-02
BILLY GOATS.
p. Nucko Tolls What Ho Knows
About Them.

HAVE been do
ing a light job
bing trade In
m iso eilaneous
jokes and para
graphs for some
time, and have
never yet said a
W d about
goats. Having
had a little ex-
perience in the
goat line, | am
aching to tell
a. and IL aaQng
to me as though
m y previous
good conduct
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1890-10-02

THERE is strong resemblance between
the friend who pats you on the back in n
quarrel and tho man who says "Sick 'cm''
to dog in a fight Atchison Globe
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1890-10-02

win You always Be gooa9- SAID tlIs
nan.
You 5et will.~ said the ten-doliar
Munsey's Weekly.
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1890-10-02

All are entitled TO the best that their
money will buy, so every family should
have at once, bottle Of the best family
remedy, Syrup Of Figs, 10 cleanse the system
when costive or bilious For sale in 5Oc and
Si.0O bottles by all leading druggists.
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1890-10-02

You can't teach an old dog new tricks,
but you can buy new dog -Terre Ilauto
IxffftaQa
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1890-10-02

For twenty five cents You can get Carter's
Little Liver Pills-the best liver regulator in
the world. Don'tforgct this. One pill dose
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1890-10-02

CURE your cough with Haie's Honey Of
Horchound and Tar.
Pixies TOothache Drops Cure in one minute
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1890-10-02

ABOUT the first thing that strikes the man
who runs away is the scarcity Of places TO
run to.-Atchison Globo
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1890-10-02

TnERE is one thing a woman can ncvcr do
she can't make a man tell her where he has
beer. Atchison Globe
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1890-10-02

JOHNNY, how many seasons ara therei"
"1hree- pepper, salt and dc base lall sea-
son
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1890-10-02

AFTER all, Tho only way 10 profit by the
experience Of others and avoid their trou-
bles is to die 20 ng -Atchison Globe
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1890-10-02

BRoNCniris is cured by FREQUENT small
doses Of Piso's Cure for Consumption
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1890-10-02

EVERY mother owns the best boy-the
worst boy belongs next door every time
Texas Siitines.
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1890-10-02

A rIL manufacturer advertised on tho
label: you take the pills; we do the rcst.n
West Shore
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1890-10-02

WE believe it has never been decided
whether railroads can grant re bate
10 IL hing excursionlsts, Washington
Hatf.hof
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1890-10-02

LriSa may be wicked, bat nobody is go
ing 70 situp all night ii it Is Binghamton
Leader
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1890-10-02

THr man who proposed ut five o'clock In
the morning did the business in dew time.
Boston Gazette
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1890-10-02

NEVER bo IN your place Of business when
person wants 20 borrow money Of you,
because II YOU ARE in You will be out but II
You arc out you will be in.-Somerville
Democrat
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1890-10-02

TnrREs new newspaper In Kansas
called Ham and Eggs lt should never ap-
pcar oftener thun once "a week. Pub
lishcd every Fried day probably.
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1890-10-02
A Confnslon OF Tonrues.

Dillenback (who has brought home a
talking-dolll--I had the cylinder put in
order, as | thought something familiar
would please Bessie.
Tho Doll-Ducey av tn foort is nc
moor ct { rippryresint tn conshtituints
as tn ould war-rd than that Bran.
igan we had last
Dillenback Howling dervishes
they've made a mistake and put in my
caucus reporter!-Judge.
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1890-10-02

chappie tsurprised)- Did you weally
kiss that little dog just now9
Maud lfondling her petl-Ycs. but
don't be alarmed. I'm not going to kiss
Nunsey's Weekly.
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1890-10-02

A RoLrINS stone Is about as success
iul in gathering moss as street fight il
n gathering policemen Puck
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1890-10-02

Tom-A phrenologist examined my
head to-day.
John--What was the result2
Tom-IIe said wasn't Of an economi
cal nature by any means.
John-liumph, ! expect he never
tried to borrow money from you. The
Jury.
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1890-10-02

My wife and were very much shocked,
but tho Mulfords looked on Indifferent
ly. Little Hiawatha" had outgrowD
their memory OF him, and they didn't
appear to realize their loss.-LighL
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1890-10-02
ADVERTISING CUTS
have i lIIII.I ;..,l,.l!lI!I YOU /. BLUES

" 'VI1''17 VNV7 5V7-75 LlNHI .----.
The best TONIC Ia ENISrENCE Pleasant
" lue t.tsle, bu, i,gt "a 9eferass tufes hAitous-
Complaint, Fcvcr and Aguc, etc. - ASK
NurA DRUGGISTS FOR IT. Manufactured by
AcPiES y q FOX. ATCHisON. KANSAS.
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1890-10-02
Cherokee Herd Poland ChinsS,

J. H ALLY. Proprietor.
ALTON, ND TIA
have for safs urulher 81 sa Sc ~ .
wsrs ever sssn fr ths vest, nnt freU - -
- knceatort TksT Nrs ell i1 gees ANN
fcrtiflcn and So uslss are rrsc - aerSaaa
corrsapan -s-cs and larpertlsa telle -
y AL1r, 49,. - -
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1890-10-02

WHEN WRITING TO ADvERTIsERs
please state that you saw she advertise
ment IN this paper.
, 1890-12-28

While Mr.. P $. Cook, the city plum
Der, was going home last evening he
caught up with a stranger who casually
remarked that it was a good night to look
cut for fires. Thinking he had within
rrksp one Of the much talked-of FIRE bugs
Mr.. Cook rea he'd for the stranger to
whom this sudden movement partook OF
the actions of a foot pad and he broke
and ran with Cook after him. At Mr..
Stanley's place on 10th street the pur.
sued jumped the fence and was captured
10 Stanley's yard. Cook took his prize to
rolice headquarters where explanation
revealed that the captive was Juo. Brooks,
of North Platte. who is spending III,
vinter with relatives in Cheyenne. Tn,
police dismissed the case and Mr.. Cool
vent home a disappointed and Mr.. Brook
:, happy man.