Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1890-03-30

Say, driver, have you got time to an
swer conundrum?n
The speaker was tall, thin gentleman,
of middle age, who looked as though he
might be an ex professor of mathematics,
or scholar of some sort.
The driver said he had plenty of time
and if the conundrum was not too tough
would answer it.
We'll, " said the passenger, II want to
know how fast a street car can make
mile
The driver scratched his head and
thought for some time. We'll, si-," he
said finally, "Ill have to give that up.
couldn't ever guess it"
That's too bad" said the propounder of
the riddle. "Worder where l could find
out?'
Dunno. Better see the Superintendent
he might know"
A reporter, who had overheard the con-
versation, ventured to ask the tall man
why he wanted to know.
why" said he, 81 am getting up one
OF the most complete books of statistics
that was ever heard of. I'm going TO have
figure on everything. Among the items. |
will give the records showing the time in
which man may travel one mile For
instance. he can ride bicycle in minutes
and 90 As seconds; tricycle. in 2 minutes
40 seconds; he can skate it in minutes
II seconds; swim it in &c minutes So
seconds; walk it in 6 minutes 90 seconds:
on snow-shoeS he can cover a mile in
ha
minutes 123 seconds; behind a trotting
horse he can do it in 2:0Sa, and on a run
ming horse in 1899. The greatest speed in
which he can cover mile is 504 seconds
and that is on railroad train. These are
some OF the figures | happen to remember
just now. propose TO get lot more, and
want the street car record included"
I've got q new one" said Dave Davis,
the mixologist, taking seat beside the car
editor.
New hat?'
mo; new story"
Lets hear it."
WELL you know we had warm even
ing last week, and the bugs swarmed in
from the tuleS to commit suicide il the
electric lights. / was walking down ]
street that evening when my attention was
attracted by q German who was gathering
up lot of these big black beetles and stuff
ing them into his trousers pockets.
thought he was crazy, and concluded to
find out what his hobby was. What are
you going to do with those bugs2' asked
stepping up to the fellow. He stood up,
and with grin put his finger beside his
nose drolly. 1 vas fool my wife leete
while, pimeby. Fiery night she vas go
troo my poggets und take my mooney. To-
NIGHT sha ind al
Ha Ha! Han"
Two young gentlemen-both of them
members of Sacramento's Four Hundred
were sitting together near the fare-box,
conversing on current events.
by the way, Harry" suddenly said one
what has become of Frank Rollo, the
handsome young Jstreet real estate
agent?'
Why" said the other, didn't you know
that he has gone to the State OF Washing
ton ?'
No"
Fact Left here only recently. He's
got fine position in bank up there. That
reminds me, George, that have mission
TO perform which was intrusted to me.by
Rollo just before he went away. He made
me promise that l would tell the boys after
he had got well out of town. They'd have
murdered him, sure, if it had leaked out
while he was here"
Must be something serious" remarked
George
YES, you Will think so when you have
heard it; and there will be several young
men-high rollers, dudes-who will be
hopping mad when they have heardit, too"
well, let's have il"
a" All right. You know several weeks
ago theatrical company was playing here,
and one of the ladies connected with it was
a sumner for beauty. Her name was
Dolly. Well, al the boys were terribly
smitten, and all sorts of schemes were re-
sorted to BY them to gain hen acquaintance
before she left town. Rollo was among
them. Each one realized that if he could
only be seen in her company, or have it
kGown TO the rest that he had met her, he
would be the hero of the hour. Well,
none of them could make it, Rollo, how
ever, determined to get ahead OF the rest
Early on the evening of the final per-
Torrance the boys were congregated at the
Golden Eagle, and Rollo deliberately told
them yarn about meeting the beauty that
afternoon, forming her acquaintance and
enjoying delightful little promenade with
her around the Capitol grounds The
crowd turned green with envy To make
had an engagement 10 meet her again the
next day and take her TO the Art
Gallery. This foored the boys. Then
they all began to shower Rollo with
requeSls for introductions to her, but he
tantalzingly refused. They all declared
that they would haunt the art gallery to
see Frank and the lovely actress go by,
but Frank was too smart for them. A
messenger, whom Frank had previously
fixed, dropped in and handed a dainty
little scented envelope, and Frank, upon
opening it, affected to De much surprised
that it was from Dolly. and that in it she
called him Dear Mr.. Rollo," and ex
planned that as the company intended to
leave earlier for San Francisco than had
been calculated upon, it would be impos-
sible for her to keep her engagement with
him the next day. In conclusion, though,
she invited him to call upon her in San
Francisco and take lunch with her. OF
course, it is needless to say that the letter
was written by Rollo himself. The boys
declared that he was the boss lady-killer
in Sacramento, and have had the greatest
admiration for him ever since. Several of
them implored him for letters of introduc-
ton to her so that they might HE them
selve to the bay, but he was immovable.
He took couple of trips to the bay him
self during her engagement there, but OF
course, never saw her-but the boys
thought he did, and that was all he cared
about. Maybe there won't be howl now,
when the truth gets Quit
"Whew" chorused both OIL the young
men.
An attache of the Controllers Office was
berating the people of Sacramento for not
patronizing distinguished lecturers. why"
said be, what is it coming to, when only
ten or twenty people turn out to hear such
a famous and learned man as John Boyle
O'Reilly? What kind of an opinion do