The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1890-12-19
GUIDE-ROOk VACATION.
How Young Yardstick NLade the Most of
Poor Thing.

iOOr
There is nothing in this world that is
livclicr factor in ones happiness
than being able to make tho most Of Il
poor thing. And it is tho happy tenn
, permanent of tho imaginative clerk who
can not get away for vacation in the
mountains or on the shore that enables
him to DO as serene in his third story
back hall bedroom
llorc he can be in all tho resorts in
the country in his Imagination without
leaving tho house. We are all we'll
aware that tho anticipation OF tho cir
Gus intoXicates the soul of tho small
boy much moro than tho circus itself,
and anticipation and Imagination AFRO
about the same thing. Therefore, the
clerk in his imagination enjoys somc-
thing that can not be cloudcd by dis
appointment, when he fancics the joys
OF place that lie can not visit.
lie has guido books and photographs
without number, and with these he may
well murmur, his soul bubbling over
with dreamy Joy;
'llorc am climbing Mt. Whitcface,
while sitting on Il soft bed in my Slip
pors. can look up to its grand old
bald head on which there arc no flies,
in any sense, and from the top Of it en-
Joy Nahawus and the Druids to my
hearts content without feeling that on
returning | have got to hold on to sap
lings and lower myself to its base like
one descending from burning build
ing on II rope. If this mountain climb
ing gives me n huge appetite, have
not got to travel two hours to reach
Grizzly Lodge to get Il meal about three
sizes too small for Il dwarf. AS it costs
nine dollars per woek hero and SIT. so at
the Grizzly Lodge, can not consistent
ly feel that l am ut all unfortunate in
not being able to got away.
AT Grizzly Lodge, if you complain
OF the smallness OF the portions, you
are told that they are in reality large,
but appear diminutive to your vision
only because your vision is acted upon
by your gnawing mountain appetite
Therefore, in this house l may enjoy
Grizzly Lodge at its best-which is tho
guide-bools description, and still DO
within half block OF n first-class res
taurant.
ut costs fifteen dollars to travel from
Grizzly Lodge TO Campobcllo, but in my
hall bedroom / can make tho Journey
in second by turning page. Here |
am in Campobello in a first-class hotel
in the guide boolk-and, looking at tho
picture, SEQ tho wavclets curling like
weary tiger lilies beneath the silvcry
moon. All, tho grand old ocean, this is
the way like to lay hold OF it's frdthy
oh, ouch, ah-!-!!-!!! Inevcr
thought | could split a head-board with
my knuckles before. How delightful,
how picturesque is the grand old sound
ing main, when enjoyed in this way,
whore its freezing air can't chill you
through, and tho land breeze can not
thrust you into swarm OF hungry mos
Quitoes.
II tell you, lloratio, thero is nothing
so pleasant as Il guido book vacation,
because there is no Disappointment;
you don't have 10 tip tho wait
ers, you don't havo TO sleep in
y room so narrow that you can
not turn over in bed without falling
over your trunk, you don't havc to at
tend to your correspondence by sitting
on tho bed having your feet against an
elastic wall, and writing on your knee,
and YOU don't have to sleep on a bed
that's 50 unoven that you awake round
shouldcred and bow-lcgged.
Lam the old optmist that believes
firmly in tho guide book vaca ton, for it
stretches through all the year, enables
you to paddle among the lilies in De-
cember, to catch fish out of season, and
shoot in great quantities animals that
are really extinct Pray, excuse me,
gentle reader, for l am an impe-
cunious dry-goods clerk, and l trem-
bic until the very scissors jim
gle in my vest pocket, when l
think Of tomorrow, and the rural mob
that swarm tho place Oh every bargain
day, and | want to lose myself in the
bowling wilderness of the North Woods,
and float off into rosy visions to tho
murmurous melody Of the sparkling,
silvery Ultowana.
Where the steak is sweet and tender
AS the lily on the stream,
Where the lovely maidens render
Life Il rosy posy dream.
Where by Towser's bark Peruvian
We ut night are not unnerved,
Where no hen that's antcdiluvian
On the tables ever served,
Where the atmospheric delicious
And the views rs fine rs silk
! And the cocktails rs nutritious
| As the cream upon the milk.
r. IL. Mumi'ittrch, in Once q Week.
Bobby-Pa, are you very busy to
night?
Father-Well, I'm just reading tn,
paper, Bobby. What is it?
Bobby-Thcrc's race of little people
called Pigmics, isn't there?
Fathcr-Ycs
Bobby-Well. pa, when they grow VI
are they lIogmios?