Morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven [Conn.]) 1848-1894, 1890-04-16
'FRONT.'

'FRONT.'
Always getting to tie front-The back of
your necktie.-Light.
A buzz-saw has kind of an "off hand"
way with it.-Dansville Breeze.
A woman has been appointed weigher OF
coal. Like her sex in general, she will no
doubt have her weigh.-Boston Transcript.
The Phi Kappa Psi fraternity has adopted
Fraternity YELL" We should suppose a
psi would better express it's feelings. Slow
ell Courier.
An exchange conveys the information that
Charles Algernon Swinburne wears only red
neckties. Isn't that tride meagera-Wash-
ington Poat.
When, instead of asking how much a man
has, people get to asking how he got it. the
millennium will not be more than forty rods
away.-Terre Haute Express.
In the next world there will be plenty of
time for US to spend in wondering how it
happens that the world which we have left
manages to get along so comfortably without
us.-Boston Transcript.
Miss Gloria (the eldest)-"Your hair looks
frightful, Nan. You won't have man
around you if you wear it like that" Miss
Nan (the youngest)-"How did you wear
yours when they used to come around you,
desra"-Judge.
cts there doctor aboardP queried lanky
Texan, who had stopped train in the middle
of the prairie. Three men stood mp. GAIL
right" said the Texan. "I am very glad. If
there ia any disturbance, you gentlemen will
be handy, for I'm going to rob the train."-
Harper's Bazaar.
Frying-P Pan and Fire.-Irish Immigrant "a
few years hence)-"Bad luck to ould Eng
land. Dim in free Amefiky at last. Can
yez tell me phere Oi can find worruka" Citi-
zen-"Go to No. 10 Blank street and ask for
the employment bureau of the English syn
dicate.--New York Weekly.
He Consented Under Misapprehension.-
Mr.. Crane (of Chicago)-"Say,E Elfrida, you've
got to break off with that Lord Wishwater." +"
Miss Crane-"Whyl P-p-papaa" Mr.. Crane
"a Teller from Ottawa told me t'-day that
won't be any more of q duke after you're
married than be now."-Puck.
"Whews" exclaimed guest at one of the
hotels, as he looked over his bill: 'It's a
regular Mississippi river, isn'tita" "What do
you mean by calling it thata" inquired the
clerk. "It's so blamed high" "Ugh!"
grunted the clerk, "but it isn't water that
makes it so high" and the guest went down
to the bottom as the clerk came up.-Wash-
ington Star.
Teacher-"How many legs has sheep,
Bobby Cleavers" Bobby Cleaver (the butch
ers son)-"DO you mean CeaO sneep or
live sheep?" Teacher-"Why, you stupid
boy, what difference does that makes" Bobby
Cleaver-"Well, live sheep has four legs;
but dead sheep has two legs and two
| shoulders. Light.
"Is 1t true we are to have the Worlds
fairs" asked the anxious looking citizen as he
heard the shouts and yells of the crowd and
tried in vain to catch glimpse of the bull
letin. eyes, it's oursl We've got it by a
fair majority" said the tall and jubilant
| man in front of him. And the young Chi
| cagoan, who had four brothers in Minnesota,
two sisters in Kentucky, an uncle in Penn.
| sylvania, two cousins in Milwaukee,, five
aunts in St. Louis and Cape Girardeau,
eleven cousins in 10 Daviess county, six
brothers-in-law with large families in vari-
ous parts of Nebraska, salary of 5000 q
year, and only one spare bedroom, pulled
his hat down over his eyes and walked
thoughtfully away from the orowd.-Western
| StockmAn