Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1890-12-24
MR.. BOwSER's MISTAKE.
He Thought He Could Manage HOusekee
tu1 Tetfer Than His Veffer Half

ing Bctfer Than His BETTER Hail.
FROM the Detroit Free Press.
GONE GROCERIES which l ordered the
~ other afternoon failed to come up in time
and at supper we had bread in place of bis
cults.
Cook run avay?' queried Mr.. Bowser as he
noticed the change.
The baking powder didn't come up" re-
piled.
Did you order it?'
''Yes, at 2 o'clock"
''And il is now s. Mrs. Bowser there must
be something very wrong with your system Of
trading. If were ordering groceries I'd like
to see EN- try any such game on me-"
I'VE can get along for once
THAT isn't the question. You order gro
ceries at o'clock. They are rot here at G.
This shows either tina. the grocer doesn't
care for your trade or else he is liar in
agreeing to send them up. / am afraid they
ind you a very easy mark
II suppose you could do better" I re-
tortei.
Certainly. A woman can. perhaps, buy
SinlcracEs to better advantage than a man.
trusted"
Very well: you buy the groceries for the
next week. The cook will tell You what is
wanted"
anu i III snOW you tlat we Will
live great deal better and yet save 81 or So
week. They can't play any roots on me-
Mrs. BOwser.'
Next morning, before going away, he went
out TO the cook and said:
IN send up the meat for dinner. That's
all. SUPPOSE
1--WE want a few things besides. sir Put
down salt, soap. pepper. tea, cinnamon, starch,
sage. potatoes. vinegar"
What! Haven't we got blessed thing in
the house?'
Lots O things, sir, but there's something
wanting every day. You can add dashboard.
lamp-chimney, some sapolio, q box of matches
and"
THAT will dor interrupted Mr.. Bowser. II
can see that there has been tie grossest mis-
management in this house. It's {. wonder that
We are not on the way to the poor house,
We'll, il you don't get 'em VIC won't have
EN-" said the cook, and with that bit of rat
ural philosophy she turned away to wash her
dishes.
Some meat came up and was prepared fer
dinner. When Mr.. Bowser came home he in
quired:
What have you been paying for roast beef?''
''About 13 cents
'.Ha! suspected it from the way the butcher
acted. He has been swindling you at the rate
OF cents per pound"
NOT
''Fact. 1 sent up piece at cents which
beats any YOU have had for a month";
about and remarked tina. the cook had forgot
ten to put on the potatoes.
You didn't send up any," replied.
'.What?''
Nothing came but the meat
by the great tyO-humped camel. but
He suddenly felt in his vest poke. and there
was the list of groceries, With that he took up
/ the carving knife and fork and began to carve
the meat 1t didn't cave. He bore down and
, sawed away, and finally laid the knife down
I, and said:
Mrs. Bowser. is this piece of rhinoceros or
beef
ITS neck piece of beef. Mr. Bowser When
L buy EN- for niiEce pie boil the meat about
two days You sent it for a roast and the cook
has roasted it,
| lie turned very white and kicked the cat
from under the table and our dinner was {
sim and unpleasant one. After getting on
| his hat and Overcoat he went out to see the
cook. and as he appeared in the kitchen door
! she said:
There's no butter for supper and / want
you TO send up soEie tomatoes for soup, two
iron spoons, package Of stove polish. some
Here's a list
! DO you pretend to say we want all those
! thinss?" he demanded.
| YES and many more. never worked in a
place before where l had 50 little to do with
II You II send up man and an AK I'll have that
/ beef cut up cold for supperr'
1 could hear Mr.. Bowser breathing thirty fee I
| distant. and one of his shoe strings broke with
a loud snap. but he went ont of the house with
out exploding. In the afternoon the things
came up-all but the tea and butter At supper
time the cook made coffee. Mr.. BOwser noticed
1t as We sat down, and snufinS the aroma, he
\ re marked:
/ Doesn't your girl know the difference be-
tween breakfast and supper! And where on
earth is the butter?'
| You didn't send up either tea or butter"
I 40 .vpa
gone crazy!''
well. they didn't comeup."
They didn't, eh2 Let me get to that tele-
phone and I'll give that Internal grocery store
something TO think OF Tor the next hundred
years.
don't know what the grocer said to him,
but Nr. BOwser danced up and down and cent
| him to Jericho, Jersey City and lots Of other
places. and wound up ly saying that he'd go to
the Cape of Good Hope before ne d ever buy
another thing there. That night found the
list Of articles in his pocket. He had checked
of as he ordered and had left the tea and butter
out Next morning before LIE went down town
| he said to the cook:
"l'n send up a chicken to be baked and
stuffed"
At IL o'clock. no chicken having appeared.
she fried some bacon for dinner. Mr.. Bowser
didnt know it until he set down. Then he took
one look at the bacon and arose and walked out
into the kitchen and asked:
! is this my house or yOurs?'
| "What of ir?' answered the cook.
Didn't say i d seEd up chicken?''
| ''You did
"And il was to be stuffed?''
| 'yes. sir
Then why didn't you do it?''
! '.Where's the chicken sir!''
.'Where? Gone to the cat, probably! /
| ordered i. at O'clock
/ lit didn't come"
1T didn't Let me get to that telephone
No. Ill go down and wipe the face of the
! earth with that butchers earcassr'
| 1 tried to hold him, but he broke away and
went OF. He came back in about an hour with
his coat torn mp the back. his nose skinned a
bump on his forehead and one eye shut up. l
didn't question him. but learned from Others
| that the butcher got the better Of him. He
| hadn't ordered any chicken. He meant to, but
he never even got of the car. That evening.
after had bound the third piece Of raw beef
| on his eye and had glycerined his nose for the
fifth time, he suddenly observed:
Il am satisfied that l could run this house
/ lust forty times better than any woman on
| earth and save shillings where you save dollars,
but I've got too much on my mind a. 1t il and
you can go ahead with your extrsvagsnt and
4 disa sfroua career"