The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1890-12-04
WIT AND IIUMOR.

'oiu salt that ne WASH 1reSn Wnen ne
was a boy.-Ltfc.
What is the end of fame?" Well.
nowadays, William. it seems to be to
write eulogies on soap.-Puck.
A man asks woman's love before
he marries her; after marriage he de-
mands her gratitude. Atchison Globe.
We may differ in this world but
when we yet to the cemetery We are
ali on q dead level.-hadtanapolis Jour
,:di
Wife-..Did YOU go to prayer-meet-
ing last ni2ht?" Husband-"Yes."
Wife How did you come out?"-N.
Y. Sun.
The fisherman is perpetual Jonah.
He is continually encountering whales
and getting the worst of it. p Wishing
ton Post.
The office should seek the man; but
it must have more than II detectives
instinct to pick him out from the
crowd. Puck.
A Southern preacher recently adj
vised his congregation to be saved i'll
the nick of time from the Nick of
eternity.
Visitor-.'Who is that crazy fool?"
Hostile is not IA crazy fool He is
merely eccentric" Visitor. Rich,
ch?n-GOOd NeUS.
A man often finds it difficult to
break the ice. but the last summer it
didn't take any effort for ice to break
a man.-Ioakers Statesman.
III man could live thousand years
he would probably spend the last fifty
fretting over what he might have done
in the previous wasted time.-Puci.
You were dissatisfied with YOUR
pastor some months ago." Yes"
Has he resigned yet?" Mo- but the
congregation is. = Ytnoa0inc'S Macs.
A close observation is likely to lead
to the conclusion that what the human
mind most Graves is some slight pre-
text for going crazy. Washington Post.
A Boston child, becoming impatient
at its mothers delay in hearing its
evening prayers, exclaimed: Come.
mamma, Dod's a-waitin'." - LoaOeE
Mail.
Amv-sYou have a good heart,
Jack, but you haven't much of head. ;"
Jack-''O. you should have seen it
when 1 got up this morning!"-M. /.
Herald.
Teacher-"Now. can any of the pu-
pills tell me what is meant by the nave
of the church" Bright Boy-"The
man who takes up the collection. y
america.
He is looking at the odd reflection of
his face in Il glass globe. 'Well, any
thing more stupid-looking than that |
never saw in the course of my life. y
Fliege1ade Btatter.
Whangle-"So Peck is dead, is he?
What were the old fellows last words?n
Jangle-'.He didn't have any. His
wife was with him when he died. "
Boston Traveller.
Husband-'Is this canned chicken
or canned lobster, Ethel?" Wife-''l
don't know, John. The label had been
torn off the can before | opened it,
SonlerUitte Journal.
Some one says that common sense is
finer and rarer than genius. This is /,
mistake. Genius is nothing more than
the apotheosis Of common SENSE
Baltimore american.
20, John, I've lost the diamond ont
of my engagement ring" That's all
right so long rs YOU didn't lose the
ring itself. It's gold, you know
Philadelphia Times.
You're very late in returning from
church; you must have had long SER
mons" 20, yes; DR.. Sixthly gave us
a great discourse on The Evil of Talk
ing Too Much. "-LUe.
Maude-'Do YOU believe that the
course of true love never runs smooth P"
Mabel HIN! Well. l don't know.
There's hitch at every marriage. any,
way."-Bostow Traveller.
A number of New York medical
practitioners have organized the PLY
sicians' Medical Club" Each member
should compose some fresh air for the
sick-room.- Philadelphia Ledger.
He Cooking dreamily into his cup)
whats this-a miracle?" She Gn-
dignantly)-''Why, no; that's coffee,
and good coffee, toor' He-''Well,
isn't that miracle?' -PHts6urg Chron-
icEe.
If a woman was rs careful in select
ing husband to match her disposition
as she is in selecting dress to match
her complexion there would be fewer
unhappy marriages than there are
Atchison Globe.
Mention is made of London man
who won a wager by retaining serious
face while 4 noted wag was firing "A
dozen jokes at him. If the jokes were
from Punch the man had walkover.
TEXAS Sytings.
He Slightly rudolf called be-
cause l thought you were out" She
| (sweetly)-'.Well. do You know |
thought [ was out. too. The maid must
have mistaken you for some one else. :"
-Harper's Bazdr.
II thought your doctor told you
you'd be out in week?' said gen
tleman to friend. He did. and so l
was" why, man. you're in bed
yet" Il know il; but | was out $75,
just the same. - Washington Post.
Warden-"Well. what would you
like to work at while you are here?''
New Arrival-"At my old trade if
YOU please. sir" Warden-"What is
that?n New Arrival an Arctic
explorer, sir.-PhiLadelphia Times.
Mr.. Dashlev-'.Sor you could not
come to our little 'house-warming' last
evening"" Mr.. Henley Peck-srm
sorry. too. But we had little house
warming ourselves. In fact. the house
got too hot to hold mc."-Anaertca.
Can you do something for CIR
| church?n asked Il Seattle minister of a
real-estate man. why. YES, of course.
I'm little short of cash just now. but
| I'll try TO take ali hour to hear You
preach next Suuday.-SedU c Journal.
Parson Prosy (who has brought the
| architect to see about repairing the
church) There's good deal of dry
rot in the south gallery. Mr.. Gable
Jess so. parson; and there's Il good
deal also in both nave and pulpit. y
! n Unrs,fy