The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1890-10-17
WOUI4D-BE SLEUTHS.
Youths Who Aspire toSBe Full
Pledged Detectives.
Tho Mournful Tale of Joel Radkin-He
Game to Chicago, Only to Find
That His Genius Wasn't APP
preciated There.

There is probably no occupation which
for the Economically inclined dime-novel
fend possesses such charm as that of
tho detective.
To tho brave boy with nerve of iron
and sagacity unparalleled, who sits on
tho shady side of a straw-stack ten hours
out of the twenty-four reading tales of
''Fang-Tooth Jim the Jumper" Hand
some Harry the Hustler" or "Scar-
Faced Scully the Scout" the life of the
detective is crammed full and running
over with poetry. In fact, his lot is cast
but few miles this side of Paradise.
The idea, says tho Chicago News, of
being the very brain which dictates the
movements of the strong arm of the law
Is to the heated imaginations of these
amateur grangers something sublime.
To rectify the wrongs of the innocent
and helpless, to pursue to conviction
the villainous perpetrator Of the deeds
Of darkness, to hound to the gallows
foul murderers, is, thinks the heroic
embryo, the acme of earthly glory.
Such being the case, it is not strange
that so many applications are received
by the detective agencies for positions.
There are scattered through the country
agencies which advertise for men to do
detective work in the counties of their
residence, and it is this sort of an in
stitution which generally catches" the
grangers. Advertisements are sown
broadcast in tho country papers, and
upon application from an ambitious
youth, he is cheerfully accepted. The
applicant is at once informed by mail of
his appointment as a detective, and re-
quested to advance the sum of five dollars
as payment for his star, credentials, etc.
This the future Pinkerton is always
ready to do, and upon sending in his
cash he receives a large glittering tin
star, beautifully worded certificate of
appointment, and instructions to lie low
and await developments.
The agency, in addition to the above,
generally vouchsafes the information
that an important case is developing in
the new detectives locality which will
shortly be placed in his hands. "Only
this and nothing MORE" for no matter
how long the young sleuth waits for
further instructions, they come not. 1t
is straight case of soak" sufficient to
cure the detective fever in most cases,
and, as a general thing, the victim set
ties down to farm life and sets up a
country grocery, with nothing to re-
mind him of his youthful folly but his
fading credentials and rusting star. In
some instances, however, the would-be
sleuth makes more systematic effort to
reach the much-to-be-desired goal, and
makes application in person to the bona
fide agencies in the large cities. Such
applications are not of rare occurrence
in the agencies of Chicago, and many
amusing incidents growing out of them
can be told.
The applicants classified as dime
novel readers are almost exclusively
fresh from farms or country towns, where
the excessive quiet renders desire for
almost any sort of excitement natural.
The youths, for they are always young,
generally have an exaggerated idea of
the important figure they are to cut in
their new sphere which makes their ig-
norance more laughable than it would
otherwise appear.
One of the most verdant Of these
specimens was Mr.. Joel Albatross Rad
kin, Jr., from Switzerland County, Ind,
who not long since applied for posi-
lion at one of the prominent detective
agencies of this city. Joel was pict-
are. chrome, landscape. He was
built upon that slim, slender plan, which
has been disguised by some inhuman
punster as the "raillery of nature" and
was about as inartistic piece of archi-
lecture as one would see in days jour
ney. An extremely small head, light