St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1890-03-01

I Although they vent 10 ec000l tO80S00S.
And grew up children side by side,
He never dreamed how much he loved hA
Until her wealthy uncle died.
-Harper's Bazaar.
"A London paper made . queer mis-
print the other day; it meant to speak
Of the death Of . prominent member Of
the Church of Mummles. and the type
made it Church Of Mummies."
Tho American Girl.-Queen Vic.
toria ION receiving some American
heiress)-"How do you do, young Ia.
dies?" Chorus Of Heiresses-'Come,
old lady, we haven't any time to waste,
SO put up your Dukea"-Lawrence
American.
Restaurant Waiter-'Will you have
your oysters on tho half shell, sir?"
Hon. Ephraim Muggins (member OF the
rural districts)-''NO, sir! Do l look
like a store clerk on half pay? Give
EN- to mo on the whole shell!"-Bur.
lington Free Press.
-Tompkins-'Heard you left the
clearinghouse, Jack" Jack-'Yes
the landlady was far too modest for
me-" Tompkins Modest how's
that?" Jack-''O. she insisted that we
eat dressed beef At every meal."-Kear-
ney Enterprise.
-Rejected-'I will have to throw
away this joke about the negro. Mr..
Smites," said the managing editor.
"Why?" asked the funny man. Be
cause you must not make light Of .
dark subject"-Drake's Magazine.
-Jawkins-"Here's . couple Of Christ
mas chickens for you. Uncle Pomp."
Uncle POmp-'Thank ZEE, sab, thank
zee! 70 was allus a good man to help
the poo, Massa Jawkins." Jawkins-
''Oh, l like to sec the poor help them
selves, Pomp, but in the case Of
chickens / must make an exception" ~
Life.
"A fragrant Case.-'Going to the
apothecary's? Well, 1 wouldn't 60 to
Pestle's." "Why not?!" "He's SO dis
obliging. I went there the other even
ing to get a postage stamp, and he act
ually refused to change a flve-dollar bill
for it. l made up my mind then that I
should transfer my custom to some other
VA uk6AoG -A1OStOu I0ISCIlp6
please. your Majesty, the Yule log
walked away last night" whispered q
frightened slave to the African king,
Bumbum, on the Christmas eve of I'LL.
ut was . boaconstrictor which we mis-
took for q log" ''So!' roared His Nibs;
then use yonder traveller for the log;
The will celebrate in grand styles" and
that was why tbs first explorer to that
part Of Africa lever returned.Judge.
First Auditor-''See! What can be
the matter with Miss C~lawkeys. In the
midst Of her solo she seem quite over
come and III not c~Ontinue?" Second
AuditOr-"She plays with such earnest
ness and is such q fiery, intense ~virtuOsO
that she must have been overcome by
the artistic afiatus." First Auditor
usher, what is the matter with Miss
C~lawkeys?' Usher-''Oh, nothin', sir.
She's swallowed her chewin' gum, that's
all."-AmericA.
They tell . story Of . Maine man
who told his wife that no was going to
owa
fishing, and got all his friends to call at
his house and inquire his whereabouts.
When he returned, the story goes, the
poor woman was SO exhausted that she
couldn't speak for . week. But 1t Is safe
to wager that despite her exhaustion,
she could come nearer to giving the cor
rect pronunciation Of Asusang-and C
forth-than her husband who had Just
returned from his fishing trip. The
woman had nothing to do with tho bait
-Norristowu Herald.