davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1890-01-01
Didn't Want a Thrcader.

snow, ladies'" said . RIassy-eved
man with . wide mouth, walking into
q tailoring estabishment where were
employee q bakery dozen Of girls and
middle-aed spinaters, II have some
thing hefe which actually supplies the
longeSte4 long-felt wants"
What Is it, carmarels, gum, pop.
corn or peanuts?" said q black-eyed lit.
tie witch.
"No," said the man; sits q needle
threader."
I'VE can thread our own needles, "
broke in o m~iddle-aged spinster.
Undoubtedly, undoubtedly" an.
swered the a $50 they used to cut
wheat with q sickle, thresh it with q
fail, and stuff sausage by hand. But
those days are past. They are in the
dim vistas. Now, you all know that
threading q needle by hand is . very
delicate operation, even when the eyes
of the threader and the needle are in
the best Of condition, but when age has
impaired the eyesight-
"We are not aged" interrupted the
spinster, sharply.
mo, you r not aged. You are al
young and beautiful as hours, but lie,
us say when diseases or hereditary
complaints have injured the eyes, it il
extremely difficult and requires q long
time to thread q needle. Now, with
this little instrument price fifteen
cents, two for q quarter-you simply
take 1t in your left hand, 70; Their
throw the thread over . hook, 90; draw
it quickly to you. SO, and the work is
done. You can, with this useful little
household instrument, thread . needle
in the dark 10 well IS in the light. Il
works with equal promptness and dis.
patch on . sewing machine, and how
often have ] seen my dear sisters and
beloved mQtksr holding q sewing ma.
chine and dumping their dear heads
and embitteflhg their lives and toiling,
sweating and swearing over the simple
act Of threading . needle. And then,
just think Tor q moment the time You
will save toyour employer"
slime s&ssd to our employer, eh?s
interrupted another n d-headed spin.
ster, with = look which would have
melted the teeth from b cross-cut saw.
@See here, old man, what are you giving
MS? Do you know that we have TO rel
up at six o'clock in the morning and
commence work and never let up until
seven in the evening? Do O know
that we only have half an hour for din.
merit Do you know that our employe,
sits on . high stool and docks us every
time n Of us winks or blows her nose
with any n~ew-fangled time-saving ma.
chimes for us. If we cant take time e
thread . needle, it is high time the but.
Ter cups and daisies were blooming on
our graves, What do you say, girls q
@That's the ticket!" chimed in . ful]
chorus, aud the man with the CLASSY
eyes and wide mouth took them with
him when he went outside to breathe ,
new atmosphere and indulge in some
sruds philosophy.-Tera SUtissgs.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1890-01-01
SPARKS or WIT.
PREssrNa misunderstanding.

PRESSING misunderstanding.
CONG the ronnds--mounting : lad
der.
TIE female chiropodist is the d.
yinity that shapes our ends.
The raining favorite-a good UNI
brella that belongs to another .
No ONE is able to write 80 long a SEN
tence in 80 few words as the police
Judge.
Il Hear that the doctor has given
Griggsby up "Yes, he wouldn't pay
his bill.*
ONE would think that a jailer would
be in pain all the time with so many
felons on his hands.
WATERS seem to be, as . class, quite
orderly men, vet they are continually
being called to order.
THERE'S one peculiar thing about a
horse race. You can pick the winners
right along until you put up your
money.
WHEN the world comes to an end and
all language is forever hushed, I'll bet
it will be q woman who will have the
last word.
SouEERs-Do you know when the
frst umbrella was made? Nickleby-
Oh, yes; during the rain Of David, to
be used Is q parry Saul.
DIME museum managers should in
augurate Q search for q woman who
can play cards an entire evening with
out asking: What's trumps?'
EDITH (as the one-armed organ
grinder came in sight)-@Oh, mamma,
Just look at that poor man! All the
sawdust has run out Of one OF his arms!
Amt that awful"
II AM sorry to say, said = sheriff to
q young widow, who was handsome,
shat / have an attachment for you.
Il am happy to say, sir, that it isn't
mutual" she replied.
An old man-of-war sailor, who had
lost a leg in the service Of his country,
became . retailer of fruit. He said he
was obliged to be q retailer. because
having lost a leg he could not be q
whole sailor.
LOUISE (of New York)-What! Have
you been married eight times, Elsie /?
Elsie tof Chicago)-Yes, I've had eight
husbands. And I've been very fortu-
nate, too; not a single one of them died
on my hands.
MISS PRuDE while out walking with
her younger sister, thinks she is rudely
treated)-Were you staring at me, sir
Strange Gentleman-Bless you, no,
madam. / was admiring your little
granddaughter.
.MAMMA,' said Tommy, as he
watched his little brother squirming in
the bath-tub, @Willie is like a piece Of
flannel" @What make you think So"
asked his mother. "Oh, because he
shrinks when he's washed"
TEAcHER-Johnnie is it proper ia
say, Peaches is better than watermel-
ons?" Johnnie (who evidently has his
likes aud dislikesl No, ma'am. Teacher
Well, you may correct the sentence.
is better than
peaches.
YOU'VE Medical Student Ito his
sweetheart)-Do you know, Julia, that
the human heart is equal to the lift
ing of 12O pounds every tw~enty-four
hours? Julia (demurely)-Well, that's
Just my weight. Then he lifted her to
his heart.
PINKIE is the youngest in a very pious
family. The other day she heard he
parents speaking of getting some blood
oranges, At supper the oranges were
on the table, and Pinkie ~perceiving
them nm the table said. "Please let ma
have a bloody orange"
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1890-01-01

The Grave dsts Tired NaWNinOs
: seemingly. for rertAtA wrctchsd invalids who
tsddls feebly along Rough always looking - Y
They wsFs going t&adH but oudstins 70 - II.
They dry mp, withsfHaNiaSls awAy rually. but
in tho meantime nsssr having robust health.
know nothing Of Tho physical enjoyment the
zest Of that existence to which thSy cling With
such remarkable tenAcity. They are always to
be found trying to mend by tinkeains atthem-
selves with come trashy remedy, tonic Or pick
me up to give a Slip to digestion, or 4hslp the
liver II such misguided folks would resort
and adhere to Hostetterfs Stomach Bitters It
would be we'll with them. This superb ~invisor-
ant supplies tho stamina that the feeble re-
quire, by permanently reinforcing digestion
and assimilation. 1t cyercoines nervousness
I'M omiia, malaria, kidney complaints, bilious.
ness, constipation, rheumatism and NEURALGIA.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1890-01-01
SAN FRANCISCO, CHI.
LOUISVILLE. xK. ksH v0RK. NJ

sensations creeping up the spinal column,
nacking cough, variable or poor appetite,
feeble digestion, with gradual loss Of flesh,
cold feet, lassitude or general debility,
should admonish one that all is not right.
You can't afford to fool away precious
time If suffering from any considerable
number OF the above significant symptoms
OF approaching danger It's madness to
trifle and experiment with uncertain means
OF relief and cure when thus atiictedl Don't
forget, at such a critical time, that the only
medicine possessed of such positive curative
properties as to warrant it's manufacturers
IN selling it, through druggists, under a
positive guarantee of its benehting or
curing IN crery case, is the world-fSmed
Golden Medical Discovery For all Bron-
chani, Throat and Lung Affections, Weak
lungs, and kindred ailments, it is an une-
4!0IeH remedy.
For a Complete Treatise OH Blood and
SKIN Diseases, or for one on Bronchial.
ihroat and Lung Diseases, enclose ten cents.
IN stamps. state which book you want and
address, WORLDS DIspENsARY MEDICAL.
ASSOCIATION, 663 Main St., Buffalo. N. Y.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1890-01-01
On Business,

- =H E
The Governor of Georgia had just
dismissed o delegation of Prohibition
lists, when q card bearing the name
Judge J. T. w. Madison" was hand.
ed him. The chief executive was very
tired. having been harassed with dry
speeches, and would have sent down On
excuse, but the high-sounding name on
the card bespoke q visitor OF impor.
lance; 30, YEARLY yielding, he told the
porter to show the gentleman up. A
few moments later one of the most
deeply colored gentlemen in the State
stepped into the room.
HDis yere de gubner?"
sYes. What do you want? ?"
ITS called on bizness, sab. rs or
jedge down.
"You are o judge?"
HYes, Justice O de Peace down In de
swamp districk."
well, state your business with me
as quickly as you can"
afn do it, sab. Gaze dat's wAnt
come we're fur Lemme see, now. Oh,
yas. Some time ago, sab, / had 9,
man named Sam BY rested an tried
for stealin' con. / tried him mysei
and fined him four hundred dollars an
six munts in jail. Dis wuz al salts.
factory, specially ter me, but de blame
lawyer he tuck or peal ter de circus
rQuf. Now, sab, my bizness wild you
is dis yere: Ell you's got any nuence
Wild de jedge O. dat circus cont, Iwush
you'd drap him q few lines a, tell him
L. ~A~ A 49, l tHS- 2.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1890-01-01
The Audibility Of Women's Voices.

A novel idea has been suggested as q
solution of o difficulty which has beset
congress for some time, in the matter of
securing reading clerks with pene-
trating voices that can be heard above the
buzz and babble Of an exciting session. 1t
is to employ lady readers. 1t is stated in
advocacy Of this plan that the quality
of their voices to meet this need Is shown
in the practical experience Of persons using
telephones, in which their voices, pitched
in a high key, can be heard distinctly, while
the great gruf voice Of a man rumbles into
the ear of the listener q mass of confusion
of so&nd.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1890-01-01
Draws the Line Mt Grindstones.

We live to eat and we eat to live. Bring
US % cents worth OF peas, peaches, pears,
plums. peanuts, polecats, or possums, and
get the best paper for thirteen weeks. We
will accept butter, beans, eggs, chickens
lit fully hatched) and any other digestible
vegetables or fruits. We eat anything ex.
cept Goldfish aud grindstones- Wise County
tTex.) Messenger.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1890-01-01
NE Remembered

Why, Johnny. are you Aghtingf'
r I'm sstonished! Have you forgot.
ten 81 . Sunday-school lessons 20
s0Ong"
mo. nam; I haven*. F1st1e Wv
I'm giyin' him . lickin,.s
What Do ron mean ? "
Didn't you. tell 70 last Sunday
son1sthin' bout its bsing more blessed
10 Siye than 70 receivefS
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1890-01-01
Food for ~C0nsumnfiyes.

Scott S Emulsion OF Cod Liver Oil, with
Hypurhosp,iites. is q most marvellous food
and medicine. II heals the h 'ftation Of the
throat and lungs. aud gives flesh and
strength quicker than any other remedy
known. It is very palatable, having none d
the disagreeable taste ofthe crude oil.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1890-01-01
.WHY need 1t be-" we say, and sigh
When loving mothers fade and die.
And leave the little ones whose feet

IHey HOpeu 70 gurus IN pHtHWHyB SWeeG.
II need not he In many cases. All about
as women are dying daily whose lives nigh.
hay. been saved. 1t seems to ba Il wide
spread opinion that when IL woman is slowly
fading away with the diseases which grow
out Of female weaknesses and irregularities
that there is no help FOR her. She is doomed
to death. Bat this IS not true. DR.. Pierce's
Eavorite Prescription liz const unity restor-
Ing women afflicted with diseases OF this
class to health and happiness. 1t is the
only medicine for these ailments. sold by
drugsists. under a positire guarantee from
the manufacturers of Its giving satisfaction
In every case, or money paid for it will be
refunded.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1890-01-01
ONE ENJOYS

ON@ HNJo2S
Both the method and results when
Syrup of Tigsis taken; it is pleasant
and refreshing to the taste, and acts
gentlyyetpromptly on the Kidneys,
Liver and Bowels, cleanses the sys.
tenn effectually, dispels colds, head.
aches and fevers and cures habitnal
constipation. Syrup Of Figs IS the
only remedy Of It's kind ever pro-
dnced, pleasing to the taste and nc
ceptable to the stomach, prompt in
it's action and truly beneficial in its
effects, prepared only from the most
healthy and agreeable substances,
its many excellent qualities COM
mend it to all and have made It
the most popular remedy known.
Syrup Of Figs is for sale in 800
and 81 bottles by all leading drug
gists. Any reliable druggist who
may not have it on hand will pro-
cure it promptly for any one who
wishes to try it. Do not accept
any substitute.
CALIFORNIA re SXRUp co.
SAN EaANcisc0, cAl.
LOUISVILLE. KE. Mw roax. IT.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1890-01-01

HENRY w. GRADY, in his famous ban
q1et speech three wears ago. declared that
Abraham Liocoln was ''ihe first typical
American. the nrst who comprehended
within himself all the strength aud GENTLE
ncss. all the majesty and grace Of this re-
public"
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1890-01-01
How She bid II.

He-Tell me, confidentially, how much
did that bonnet cos. you?
She-tieorge, there is but one way in
which you can obtain tbs right to inspect
my millinery bills!
He popped.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1890-01-01

TIE only thing needed now to complete
the keely motor is q sort Of curlicue to
impinge against the jigmaree that keeps
the doodicker in place on the resonator,
and this cannot be provided without an
other assessment on the stockholders.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1890-01-01

When Baby WAS sick. No gave her csstoria.
When she WAS u Child. she cried for Castoris,
When she became Miss. she chung to Castoria.
When she had Children. she gave them Castoria.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1890-01-01

Tnz Rsv. Hobsrt ColIysr, Who began
lie g 3 hlasksmith end % now ons Of the
most popular living prsschers, has just
entered his e7th year. II have never bean
sick = nush . M dry In ny lie" hs
oaya.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1890-01-01

The ex-einperor Of Brazil is q humorist
in q qniet way. Brazilian titles OF nobility
we're only held for life ard were easily
puryhasable. Dom Pedro built and main
tanned a lunatic asylum with the product
Of the titles be conferred in the curse of
his long reign.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1890-01-01

Tnosn who use Dobbins' Electric Soap
sach week tnnd fhsir name u isgtoa) save
me work. Dfi you ever try Il? II not %
% Monday ssvs. Ask FOUR grocer for II
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1890-01-01
lDuello genealogical.

DR. P1ERCE's PElLRTs. tho original and
only genuine Little Liver Pills; as cents a
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1890-01-01

USE Browns BRoNCHrAI. TRocnrs for
Coughs. Colds. and all Throat Troubles.
,pre-eminently the best- = Reu. Henry
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1890-01-01

Hall's CataHrh Cure 10 taken internally, and
acts directly upon the blood and mucus surfaces
Of the system. Send for Testimonials, free.
FL. CHENEY & Co, Toledo, Ohio.
n4.SolA nv frnoUiata - carts
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1890-01-01
STATE OF OHIO, CITY OF TOLEDO, |
IVYrAa CnVYSry &C

FRANK J. CHENEY makes oath that he 10 the
senior partner Of the firm Of F. j. CsENEY &
Co., doing business in the City OF Toledo, Ceun-
ty ana State Aforesaid, and that said firm will
paw tho sum OF ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS
Ter each and every case Of Catarrh that cannot
be cured by the use Of HALLS CATARkH CORE.
FRANK 7. CHENEY.
Sworn to before me and subs ,ribad in my
presence. this 9th day Of december, A. d.. 1855.
49, A. W. GLEASON.
SEAL. Notary Public.
t
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1890-01-01
Large Bridges In, the World,

Niagara Suspension 82l feet span.
Allegheny, two span, 344 feet each.
The Brooklyn and New York, one span
Of 1895 feet.
The C~ovington and Cincinnati, one span
of I,O57 feet.
Railway bridge now building over the
Fufth, Scotland, two spans, ], $3.50 feet each.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1890-01-01

Many initiate "Tansill's Punch" &c. Cigar
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1890-01-01
The ~ex-e,nperor

BRONCHITIS Is cured by frequent small
doses Of Fiso's Cure for CONSUMPTION.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1890-01-01
KEPT HIS VOW.

Hello, Mickey, is dat you? I
heard you swear once dat you would
never do q bit of work as long as ye
lived"
$50 I did; OATS de reason I'm on de
force."-Chicago Ledger.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1890-01-01
AMEMLI.

OF cYispy dAss Of autuQaj
How thy ioys Aboat Ne ooeUots
VVAsp tho tuyk1t ~ oVoa
I'D the ofsofSfn IN souH.
jtEsbu11 Dyspatch.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1890-05-27

wnIcn 10 hide, and he soon came TO the
conclusion that they had escaped through
/ the window. He looked out, and sure
enough he saw their fiuttering white
garments far down the path which led
to Knipindol. They had already good
start, but Stanko, confident that he
would soon overtake them, dashed on
like race-horse in pursuit.
When the girls saw they were being
pursued they left the path and climbed
up the rocks TO the right, in the hope
f, that they might throw their pursuer off
the trail. Stanko. however, observed
their maneuvers and clambered quickly
after them. Suddenly the painting
maidens found themselves upon jut-
ting cliff which reached out over q
yawning abyss. To the right and left
were walls OF perpendicular rock; be-
hind them was their enemy.
IF he comes a step nearer We VIII
spring into the gulf" cried Kosara, In
despair, to the approaching foe.
Horror-stricken, Stanko stood still.
Kosara's resolute manner left him in no
doubt as To the earnestness of the threat.
He had recourse to negotiation and en-
deavored to persuade the girls TO return
by fair words and most solemn oaths.
Kosara was almost ready 10 give faith
to his assurances when in an instant the
whole situation was changed. In the
rear of Stanko group of Turks ap-
peared on the scene and charged upon
him.
When the child had announced the
approach of the Turks she had spoken
the truth. She had left the house 20
fetch help from the village, which lay a
some distance from Minko's dwelling.
but as she had approached the first
house she perceived TO her alarm several
Turks, who were ill-treating the women
and children, the men having all gone
off to the attack. These Turks belonged
to a second division, which had come
upon Uvjece from another direction and
reached the rear of the fighters. Several
of the Turks who saw Ljubica had fol-
lowed her home. where they arrived just
after Stanko had left. Finding the
house empty they had started after
Stanko and had overtaken him At point
where there was no escape.
Pierced by dozen balls Stanko fell,
weltering in his own blood. The Turks
set up a shout of triumph and rushed
upon the two girls, whom they already
regarded as sure prey, but before they
reached them koSara and Liubica gave
each other an agonizing embrace and,
locked in each others arms, sprang into
the abyss. -Philadelphia Press.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1890-05-27
Aaron Burr In Georgia.

In March, 1907, Aaron Burr, while
1nder guard, crossed the river near Fort
Hawkins. Burr and his guards were
drenched and chilled by the freezing
river. He was captured below the Tom
bigbee river in Alabama, and was re-
quired to ride on horseback at the rate
of forty miles per day. The guards.
with their prisoner. crossed the river in
canoes. in which their camp equipsge
was placed, and by the side of their
canoes their horses swan until they
reached the Oconee, where at Fort VIII
kinson, they crossed the first ferryboat
they had seen in the whole route; and
in a few miles beyond that river they
were sheltered by the first roof-a house
Of entertainment kept by Mr. Bevan.
The house is standing at this day, neat
Milledge.-Macon (Ga.) News.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1890-05-27
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED THAT9

Have you ever noticed that when yours buy.
ing berries by the peck
That those on top are large and ripe, without
spot or speck;
While those beneath are small and green
not worth the looking at,
And altogether worthless-have you ever
noticed that?
Have you ever noticed in the summer when
the days are cold
The icefnan leaves a larger chunk than what
your box will hold;
But when the days are scorching hot and
nearly fry your fat
He leaves the merest tri1e-have you ever
noticed that?
Have you ever noticed that the man who's
always telling you
About the woudrous things he's done and
what he's going to do
Is loafing at the present time-hs purse is
busted fat.
And "won't you loan q fver?'-have you
ever noticed that?
Have you ever noticed fishermen all have
! such awful luck.
The mammoth fish they nearly get fall back
f. into the brook,
And while of great fresh water whales they
ever wildly chat,
They bring home tiny minnows-have you
ever noticed that?
Have you ever noticed office seekers, ere
election day,
Grasp every bodys hand and something kind
and fetching say,
But who, when safe in Office, with q salary
big and fat,
Forget the humble voter-have you ever
noticed that?
Chicago Herald.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1890-05-27
TRUSTEES SALE.

Whereas, Mary /. Moore and w. NJ
Moore, by their certain deed of trust dated
the l4th day of December, 1886, and re-
corded in the Office of the recorder of deeds
within Pettis county, trust deed record 81
pages 294 and 295, conveyed to the under
signed, Henry Lsmm, trustee. all their
right, title, interest and estate, in and to
the following described real estate, situated
in the county of Pettis, state of Missouri,
viz: Lot two ~ in block one ~ in Pot
ter and Smiths addition to Sedalia, Mis-
souri,, which said conveyance was made il
trust to secure the payment of certain
promissory note in said deed described,
and whereas said note has become due and
is unpaid, DOW therefore, in accordance
with the provisions o. said deed of trust
and at the request of the legal holder OF
said note, shall proceed to sell the above
described real estate at the west court
house door in the city of Sedalia, in the
county of Pettis, State aforesaid, to the
highest bidder for cash, at public auction,
on
FRIDAY THE 18TH DAY OF JUNE
1850,
between the hours of nine in the forenoon
and five in the afternoon OF that day, to
satisfy said note, together with the cost
and expense of executing this trust.
HENRY LAMN, Trustee.
Dated this 10th day of May. 1890.
5.13g5,