Daily Republican. [volume] ([Wilmington, Del.]) 1874-1890, 1890-01-07
Mrs. BOwsER GOT A PRESENT.

| 49, N"o lohk agony u over And
nave got NY ChristniSs present Natur-
ally enough, | hoped and expected, but
Tor reasons 10 be hereafter explained l
could not certainly coust on ANYTHING
until 1t was LaDded out to me. No one
must get the idea that Dir. Bowser aud
quarrel. We amply have our peculisrL
Ties, came Es the average husband and
VILE. On the 17th Of last December, two
days after Christmas, Mr.. Bowser wanted
10 put up \ bracket in the sitting. room.
and he called to me to bring him the
corkscrew.
"Dave you lost your beadi" he de-
mand.d as ] handed It TO him.
mo, air"
"Didn you hear me say g,mleii"
you said corkscrew.
"Never!'
"Ycs, YOU did. Mr. Bowser," said the
COOK who had luckily overheard him.
Don't know the difference between
y coIkserew aud ecrew-driver?'
"A minute ago you fald gimlrt, Mr..
Bowser. What IL II you really wAnt-a
cork'crew, pimlet, screw- driver, pincers.
whehtoac. brush-brooln, brace and bit,
or what"
vi want to inform you" be replied AZ
be hung the bracket under the lounge,
II went TO inform you 10 letters six feet
high that III be Internally smashed to
squash II ! get you u Christmas present
next yearp'
"Mr. Bowser!"
~ won't, even II you get down on your
knees to mel"
Aud about the 10Th of January, 900
evening alter supper. he brought IN the
oil Jug from the bnrn, and OF course |
Inquired what be WAS going to do.
| tMra KuHserb he heuan In tIo Inft.,
way OF a husband who 10 prepared to
make his vile take back seat, "you
have, l presume, heard Of leatherf'
| "ics. SIR"
| Leather, as you probably do not
know, and would never fud out but
from me, is the hide of tho back of
| certain animal-an OF, COW, u steer,
etc. The hide OF = horse Is called horse
hide"
~ thought 1t was called deer-skin," /
replied, willing to DO crushed.
"Ahi No doubt you did. Ali women
probably do. The hide OF calf 10 called
| cali-skin."
GLOW wonderful, Mr.. Bowseri Do they
take It oil while he Is nlive2 calves
don't shed their hides IN the fall, do
theyf On, how wish ! had your know
ledeei"
"Your head could never contain It,
Mira bowser,' he answered, tickled al
most So d. aih over tho Ignorance | pre-
tended. But to resume. Leather IS the
hide OF an animal pu, through process
called tanning. Even after being launtd
II ID full of pores.
as 1t pos-iblef'
''These pores, minute as they are, nd
init water. That's how you got your feet
damp"
ia that the ressonV
ut Is; snd now am going to heat
nature by Milling those pores with oil ANA
thus keep out the water"
with linseed oiii'
"Certainly,"
"But father aud Tom used 10 used cas-
tor oil. They said the other ola pre- |
vented their shoes from taking a shine |
Afterwards, and made the leather
sticky"
"Ohl they diia Well. what your father
and Tom don't know about leather would
made big book.
lie rubbed on the oil, dried Il In, rub-
bed on some more, aud spent an hour
over his shoes Next morning when hn
tried to put on a shine, 1t was no go lie
rubbed his neckt!e almost over the back
OF his head. but steam power couldn'
have done IL. He quit brushing and
W
II was afraid OF It," | replied as he
held up one fot
Then why didn't you say so,''
~ did"
"Nevtrl Yoa have gone and spoiled
these 81 shuts"
mir. Bowser, told you that linseed
oil would render them sticky ami"
"And want to tell you right here and
now that you won't get no Christmas
present next year-nOt even a candy
cal!" he Interrupted, a. he banged tbs
hat on his hat on his head to take walk
around the block.
In February ordered cut loaf sugar
and he sent up pulverzed and when
proved by the cook that he wac mistaken,
he turned away with:
"ohi well, II you can afford this sort
Of thing, l can. I'd rather have peace,
of course, but next ChrstmAs eve will
make every thing all right. You'll be-
10, king for q present, but you'll look In
vhin?"
In April We were having two
handed game OF euehre one night, and
| took his king of spades with the ace.
"That's coolr' hs remarked. Nv hat
sort Of game do you call thIsi"
"Euchre." +,
swell, you hand that trick over hsrei"
"What fort took It,"
"Not muchi The ace don't take no
king IN this CAMEL
.'Of course 1t does. The ace Ia next to ,
the left bower"
at is, eh? Who told you that?"
Everybody knows it,.
''Tneu everybody 10 q iooll The king
70 above the ace. OF course. That's why |
the card 10 called = king-because king 1
Ia u high pereOnaReb
"Mr. Bowser, you are wrong"
81 am right. You arc gettiHg left,
and so you want to raise q row and
break up tho game. That's just like 7
you."
But am three games ahead"
"What! This ends 1t. We play no
more. And now, when Cbristmas comes
Aeain, don't blame me, Mrs. Bowser, If
GU get nothing"
In July, whom We were down town one
day, lost my parasol. He made great
ado about u, but the lost article was sent
home from y store while he WAS yet talk !
Ing. The very next day he lost his wal ct
and $50, aud felt 1t my duty to repeat
his words:
"Mr. Bowser, you are the most careless
man ever saw"
al am. ehf'
You might have known you would