Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-02-13
FOLLY AS 1T FLIES.
IT is the scissors -grindor who likes to

FOLLl Ao Ill FLIES.
IT is the scissors -grindor who likes to
see things dull.
The man who catches it from all
sides" ought to make a good ball
player.
THE wheels of matrimonial life run
more smoothly where there is little
Juvenile.
M. EIFFEL's daughter is to be mar
ried. OF course she will go on a we'd
ding tower.
VOICE from the cage: ''The saloon,"
he solemnly drawled, sis the house
that Jagg built"
EVERY once in while the banana
peel looms up as u sad reminder of the
roller-skating craze.
WHEN woman loves man she goes
the whole hog, even to the wart on his
nose. 1t isn't this way with man.
MAMMA-Don't let me speak to you
again; Tommy. Tommy bet !
wouldn't If L knew how to stop you.
WHAT Is sweeter than to have
friend you can trust? ?" asked Sawkins.
10 have friend who will trust you,"
replied Dawk1ns.
YOUNG husband-You look Thought
full, dear; is your subject deep one?
Young wife-Oh, no, indeed; I was
only thinking of you.
SPEAKING of the hoped for rise in the
American merchant marine, it is in or
der to remark that little smack often
develops into court-ship.
TiFVET pnaopc Aat fbo ,,,o,, ,,,l,a
would feel flattered to be called level
headed would object strongly to being
called fiat-headed. Odd. isn't it?
URGENT Suitor-With any sort of
management we could certainly keep
alive on $500 year. She-Yes, dear,
but 1 would sooner be comfortably
dead.
"GoT stiff neck George?" YES"
"Cold ?" "No; pretty girl sat a few
seats behind me in the theater last
night, and had to turn round so often,
you know"
Teacher, is it proper to
talk about the face of the globep
Teacher-Yes, Willie Scholar-Say,
teacher, where is the back of the
globes head?
''II is not easy to be widow" said
Mrs. Faux Pas when the forlorn state
was under discussion at new conven'
ton. "One must resume all the modesty
of girlhood without being allowed even
to feign it's ignorance"
Your impudence amaz.
es me. L infer by your nose that
Tramp-Ah, madam, you do me great
wrong. 1 do not drink. My nose is
simply blush absorbed.
OLD Maid (who wants a portrait OF
her dog)-Do you take instantaneous
photographs here? Photographers boy
Yes, ma'am; run right in, and he'll
take you afore you're minute older.
ToMMY-Where is Variance, Mrs.
Peck? Mrs. N. Peck-I do not know,
Tommy. 1 never heard of the place
before. Tommy funny, for
mamma said that you and Mr.. Peck
were at variance two-thirds of the
time.
"PAPA," said a boy much given to
reading, Il have often seen the phrase,
All ight-thinking people in the pa,
per. What kind of people are right.
thinking people?" "They are the sort
"a pSoplCy ouib pIS iduIiCl, lO
as We do"
"CAN man belong to brass band
and be a Chlistian?" asks an exchange.
We see no impediment in the way. But
if he is member of brass band and
is given to practicing on his cornet or
trombone at home, it is an utter i'm
possibility for the man living next
door to be Christian
SALESMAN in shoestore (deferentially)
I hardly think No. 9, ma am, will
Customer with some asperity)-That
is the size always wear, sir If you
have none I will go elsewhere. Sales
man equal to the occasion)-"I was
speaking of the ordinary No. g."
Sells her pair of fves.
WARNING TO RASH BOYS.
just a great big turkey,
just littlo boy o..
Just some cream and candies
Happiness and joyl
Just some deviled lobster
Little boy must take;
Then jamaica ginger
And the stonachachc