The morning call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1878-1895, 1890-12-24
A CASE OF KISSING.
[CoNCLUDED.l


EN*S Jack Norris is the only man on the
Western circuit who is any good for case
of this sort, have decided to brief him. OF
course we can't act ourselves, as am clerk.
So will you run around to Hames" another
solicitor in the town 'and get him to in
struct Norris at once? He isn't fond of 20
lice work, and Will command humping
fee! But, as l said before, money is no con-
sideration. l need scarcely add that the
fact of Mr.. Goatboy, Poyntz's uncle, being
Chairman of the bench. makes the affair all
the more painful and disagreeable."
Percy took the papers and went out in a
very disturbed frame of mind. What the
deuce was he to do? If he didn't go round
and instruct Hames, his father was bound to
find ii out. And if he did, he should Sc
curely cut off the possibility Of his own re-
treat In fact. he was on the horns of
most formidable dilemma! After racking
his brains for a safe escape from his Difficult
ties, and finding none, he reckiessly decided
to adopt the ter alternative and go round
to Hames' as hidden, for that course threat
need less immediate danger of discovery,
and would, at all event., give him a few
days grace in which to fix his best line of
action.
So. with many qualms of conscience and
misgivngs of heart, he made his way to
names Office and instructed him to brief
counsel for Poyniz's defense. What the
upshot of this would be he did not venture
to think. But he heartily cursed his own
folly in having played the practical joke
at all.
The worst part about the affair was his
forgery of the j. P.'s name. Aud he could
well imagine to himself Mr.. GoatbOy's
apoplectic rage, were he to find it out. For
that worthy gentleman was ever jealous to
maintain the dignity of the bench over which
he presided, and nothing would throw him
into more violent heat than TO discover that
The sacred majesty of the law and the august
sign-manual of magistrate had been tam
pered with and pressed into the service of a
silly practical joke. Nor would Mr.. Goat
boys rage be of futile kind. For, even if
he forebore from publicly taking up the case
against him, he could effectually visit his
wrath on his head by Withdrawing all his
lucrative business from the firm Of Cutie 81
Son. And were such disaster to happen to
old Cutie through his fault, Percy felt, with
a shudder, that the Office would be too hot
ever to hold him again.
This consideration. more strongly, per-
haps than any other, made him desperately
decide that he must carry out the hoax to the
bitter end. And he thanked his stars for two
points about the affair-first, that the .Ju stice
gland that very day; second, that he had
taken no ether mortal soul into his conf
dence. These two circumstances would
strongly discount the chance Of discovery.
In fact, if matters were left to take their
course, and the case came on for hearing,
ON the prosecutrlX not making her appear
ance, the bench would naturally dismiss the
case, and no more would be heard of it.
Still, though such would be the natural
course of events, there would be no saying
what unforeseen accidents might crop up.
And there was quite enough risk of being
found out 10 make Percy Cutie pass an I'M
comfortable time. lie could not sleep at
night or attend to his business properly in
the day. And when the next Thursday ar
rived, oeing the day on which the bench sat,
he was positively i'll with anxiety. He didn't
know how PoyntZ might feel (he had studi-
ouSly avoided him for the past day or two,
but he was sure that the victim of the joke
could not positively be more uncomfortable
than the prosecutor. And he vowed solemnly
TO himself that, if he got safely out of this
mess, he would never indulge in practical
joke again.
Jack Norris came over from Bristol by an
early train, Hames meeting him at the sta
ton and driving with him to the Police
Court. Thither also Percy Cutie felt him
self drawn by an Irresistible impulse, since,
while he dreaded the hearing of the case be-
fore all things, he felt that he must be pres
ent to see how it went. The court was
crowded, for the case excited great interest
In the town, and some racy details were ex-
pected. Percy, in spite of his agitation,
could scarcely reprtSS grim sTliie when he
thought how ali these sensation lovers were
doomed to be disappointed. The prosecu-
trix-being wholly imaginary person
would not, of course, appear, and, after she
had been duly called" thrice, inside and
outside the court, the bench would dismiss
the case.
One or two other cases were disposed of
first, amid evident Impotence on the part of
the spectators But at last the important
one came on. Amelia Seragg was called.
Percy sat with his eyes fixed upon the floor
assuming an appearance of professional nom
chalance which was very much at variance
with his agitated feelings. The clerk, old
Cutie, solemnly called the name of the pros
ecutrix once. Percy. with. his eyes still
upon the floor, waited for the call to be re-
.peated. 1t vas not, and, looking up for an
explanation, he saw sight which Ito use
the vulgar idionD struck him all OF heap
A smartly dressed and decidedly pretty
young woman had already stepped into the
box and was just about to state her case.
She Mas no stranger to Cutie, either. On
the contrary, she was a fascinating little
nilliDeI from neighb0ring town, in whom
ne was very much interested, and with whom
he had long been carrying on an agreeable
hlrtatiOn. True, he had neglected her rather
OF late, having begun TO grow a trife tired of
her. But the effect of the statement which
she now made was to show him that this in
terest in her was very far from being really
extngulshed. Having co0lly declared. to
Percy Cuttle's 10 small amazement, that she
was the person referred to in the summons,
she went on to speak as follows:
Il beg TO state that this summons was not
taken out by myself. On the contrary, it was
taken out, without my knowledge or consent,
by an officlous relative to whom / confided
the story Of the affair. 1t is true that met
the defendant on the night mentioned, close
by the end oil Sepulchre lane, and that he did
accost me, and Observation-Disclosures
me-" considerable laughter in COURT "But
j am bound to say, in justice to him, that
there was no violence in his conduct; that l
had no objection whatever to his accosting
me" renewed laughter] ''and' with blush
and simpeD mot so very much to his kiss
ing me-" Loud laughter.l "In fact, his de-
meanor throughout the interview was
livery loud laughterl, (which had no rea-
son to resent. Under the circumstances.
therefore. res pcctfully ask your worships
to dismiss the case against the defendant.
End can only regret that the ill-advised
action Of my relative ever brought it before
you at ALL"
Hereupon, Jack Norris, after few whisp-
cred words with Poyntz, got ND and said
that his client was willing to admit that the
young lady's version Of the affair was true
and accurate, and he trusted that their wor-
ships would consent to her request. This
they accordingly did, Joseph Boggle, the
senior Justice present Poyntz's uncle had,
Of course. retired during the case), pro-
nouncing the formal dismissal In the name
OF the bench.
Percy Cuttle's feelings, while the pretty
h,tie milllner " as making her statement, are
almost impossible to describe. Amazement,
wrath and consuming jealousy all filed his
breast at once. Toward the end of 1t. es-
pecially, the last named feeling quite
ewamped the two former, and he forgot to
think how his charmer had come to know
Of inc sham summons at all in the reflection
tnat she had cared to encourage the atten-
tons OF "a fellow like Poyntzf'
Hang It alll' $50 the young LAWYERS
thoughts RAM "Pm not an Adonis, / dare
say; but l fatter myself that Pm rather
more taking with the girls than that bashful.
uDgainly dotl To think that Polly" (this
was the young w0man's real Chris tan name)
should let that sheep-faced idiot kiss heri
And then confess, In open court, that she
rather liked it'll Pom my life, It's sIckeningl
I'm Cursed If III ever have word to say to
tbS girl again.