The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1890-06-14
A MODEL LOVE LETTER.

Pupisneu, ana as tnere are number
who doubtless desire little instruction |
in this kind of letter writing, we comply: |
My Dear Miss P.
Every time think of you my heart |
fiops up and down like churn dasher.
Sensations of unutterable joy caper over
it like young goats over stable roof,
and thrill through it like Spanish needles
through pair of tow linen trowsers.
AS young gosling swimmeth with de.
Light in mud.puddle, so swim / in
sea of glory. Visions of ecstatic rapture,
thicker than the hairs on backing
brush, and brighter than the hues on
humming-bird's pinons, visit me in my
slumbers; and, borne on their invisible
wings your vision stands before me, and
l reach out to grasp it like pointer
swapping at blue.bottle fly. When
first beheld your angelic projections
was bewildered, and my brain whirled
around like humble. under glass
tumbler. My eyes stood open like cellar
doors in country town, and lifted up
my ears to catch the silvery accents of
your voice. My tongue refused to wag,
and in silent alteration l drank the sweet
infection of love as thirsty man
swalloweth tumbler of hot whisky
punch. Since the light of your face fell
upon my life l sometimes feel as if l
could lift myself by my boot. straps to
the top of the church.steeple and pull
the bell.rope for singing school. Day
and night you are in my thoughts.
| When Aurora, blushing like bride,
rises from her saffron couch; when the
iay.bird pipes his tuneful lay in the
apple.tree by the spring. house; when the
chandeliers shrill clarion heralds the
coming morn; when the awakened pig
ariseth from his bed and grunteth and
goeth forth for his morning refreshments;
when the drowsy beetle wheels his dron.
ing fight at sultry noontide; and when the
lowing COW comes home at milking time
| think of thee-and, like piece Of gum
elastic, my heart seems to stretch clear
across my bosom. Your hair is like the
name of sorrel horse powdered with
gold; and the brass pins skewered
through your waterfall fill me with un.
bounded awe. Your forehead is smooth.
err than the elbow of an old coat. Your
eyes are glorious to behold. In their
liquid depths see legons Of little cupids
bathing, like cohorts of ants in an old
army cracker. When their fire hit me
on my manly breast, it penetrated my
whole anatomy, as a load of bird.short
would go through rotten apple. Your
nose is from chunk of Parian marble,
and your mouth puckered with sweet
ness. Nectar fingers on your lips like
honey on a bears paw; and myriads of
unaedged kisses are there, ready to fly
out and light somewhere, like blue birds
out Of a parents nest. Your laugh rings
in my ears like the wind.harp's strain, or
the bleat of stray lamb on bleak hill
side. The dimples on your cheeks are
like bowers in beds of roses, or hollows
in cakes of homemade sugar.
am dying to fly to thy presence and
pour out the burning eloquence of my
love, as thrifty housewives pour out hot
coffee. Away from you am melancholy
as sick as rat. Sometimes / can hear
the June bug of dependency buzzing in
my ears, and feel the cold lizards OF de-
spair crawling down my back. Uucouth
fears, like thousand minnows, nibble at
my spirits; and my soul is pierced with
doubts, as an old cheese is bored with
shippers.
My love for you is stronger than
Coffee's patent butter, or the kick of a
young cow, and more unsel6sh than a
kittens first caterwaul. As the song
bird bankers for the light of day; the
cautious mouse for the fresh bacon in the
trap-as lean pup bankers for new
milk, so long for thee.
You are fairer than speckled pullet;
sweeter than Yankee doughnut fried
in sorghum molasses: brighter than the
top-knot plumage on the head of Mus
covy duck. You are candy kisses, raisins
pound-cake, and sweetened toddy alto
gether.
If these few remarks will enable you
to see the inside of my soul, and to me
win your affections, shall be as happy
as wood-pecker in cherry tree, or a
stage horse in green pasture. If you
cannot reciprocate my thrilling passion,
will pine away like a poisoned bed bug
and fall away from the nourishing vine