Sturgis advertiser. (Sturgis, Dakota [S.D.]) 1887-1???, 1890-08-07
PLEAsANT PAAA0FRe.
Tcullsd from our Elzchanses. i

A&ss%<A
Al BUST developer whisky.
a CASE for appeal On orange.
A PEACEFUL revolution turning
somer-sault.
DEER are not the brayest Of animals
and yet they always die game. ~
The Duke and Duchess Of Connaught
are coming to visit lis. Connaughty
people raise any objection TO this?
The woman's club craze il giving
considerable currency to the question:
Does your wife carry night key n
WE'LL. said the rural visitor OF New
York, if that's Cleopatra's needle, I'd
like to see some of the stockings she
used to darn. "
AMY There's hole in your stocking
as big as q dollar. Mabel A gold dol
lar or silver dollar? Amy No; d
paper dollar
Mrs. JAYsMITH What are you read
ing, Lou? Miss Jaysmith Pope's
poems, ma. Mrs. Jaysmith Are they
the poems of the present pope or the
last2
WIFE Why couldn't you have come
home at o decent time of night, say
Husband Gould, m'dear, jes easy as
not; but / (hic) was waitin' fer you t go
t. sleep.
Why, my dear, you had party
last month. How often do you wish to
entertain your friends2' @This is not
to entertain my friends but to snub my
enemies.
WIFE-H I put one stamp on this
letter, will it get to Philadelphia to-
morrow? Husband Certainly. Wife
And if / put two stamps on it, will it
get there to-day?
Il IS" began Tommy, when his
teacher interrupted him. "That is
wrong; you should say am" @All
right, said Tommy. II am the ninth
letter of the alphabet.
BRONSON What heavy showerl
It is raining cats and dogs! Amy
(quizzically): What kind of dogs does
it rain, MIR. Bronson? Bronson Sky
terriers, probably.
LITTLE JoHNNIE-Mr.~ Merritt and
sister have a new way to make lemon
AIDE. Mrs Brown How did they do it?
Little Johnnie-Cora holds the lemon
and MIR. Merritt squeezes Cora.
SOMETIMES 1T Is LATE-Editor aook
ing at his watch) The paper has not
gone to press yeti What is the mat
ter? Foreman-The nihilists' daily
threat to the Gear hasn't come in yet.
GosLIN-Hello, old mani how are
you? haven't seen much OF you lately.
Maddox-You have seen more of me
than have OF you. "How do you make
that out?" Well, I'm much bigger
than You."
MATILDA SNOWFALL say, Uncle
Nose, whut does yer think oh my new
spring suit? Uncle Mose-Folks whut
puts ON all de close dey kin git puts me
IN mind of sweet pertater patch OATS
all gone ter vine.
AT THE STATIoN-De Dearest Laura
don't cry so! If everything else van
ishes, we shall yet have left to us men,
Dry! "Ah, dearest Emma, then per-
haps you will remember that I lent you
five dollars two years ago!"
Ethel Reddy-M Mamma, won't Won
please ask DIR. Dorce to look az my lit
tie sick duckiings? Mrs. Reddy-No,
no; run away! DR.. Dorce is not bird
doctor. Ethel Reddy-- Well, papa said
last night he was quack doctor.
SM1TH-Why is it that when an en-
gagement is broken off return of pres
ents is always asked for on both sides?
Jones-I'n tell you why. It is because
it is expected the presents will come in
handy when another engagement is
made.
WHEN you come to look at it properly
there is nothing strange in the fact that
no citizen of Chicago has ever been
converted to Mormonism. A man who
can't live with one wife Six weeks at
time naturally stands aghast at living
with fifteen or twenty.
A TRAVELLER is about leaving hotel.
We'll, landlord, here's q how-d'ye-do:
you go and charge me two dollars and a
half for bed, when you know very we'll
that the house was SO full [ had to
sleep on the billiard table," "Well, sir,
please look at our rules posted up on
the wall there-'Use of billiard table %
cents an hour"