South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1890-06-20

The mex. day was hot-ihe hottie st
No have Eel. this sum mer. From the
6rst house wo struck TO the second
was about 2 niles, aud before We had
gone ban the distance cur face was
almost purple with hest and our shirt.
coilsr vas DISC ,ursged and eshsusted
and reiased 90 rtsnd up. Suddenly
On idc1 struck Us. sIrp tbts old
fannni sbirt that's mskiog me % hus, -
We thought, aud We resolved 10 staas.
At no longer. We stopped right toere
in the road aud peeled that shirt. and
We dids't care Who saw Us, either.
Bot IS We moved on We began to re-
EJECT that there were sumo pretty piris
to tho ~ext hous", and. IS We have
been seaeebing Of ''n asher" in Cue
time, and are still fond OF Q litsls
harmless d;rting occasion .iIy. We
deemed 1t advisable to present "a
good IN appearance ~ possible. We
were thin enough with the shirt on.
God knows. bu, without It We looked
more like the figure of man cut out
ct paste bord than anything else,
and it was highly improbable that Q
strange girl would fancy any such ap.
partition. Besides, how you'll I ex.
plain to them bow I came to be car.
ry'ng that wet shirt around The coun.
tryf These considerations decided
as, and NO stepped aside In the brush
aud put on the garment again, though
every time it's damp folds touched us
they sent q chill from one end of GU,
bouy frame 10 the other. We went on Ia
tue house and saw the yourg ladies
but, judgingfrom The way they gig.
gied whenever our back was turned
and the fact that they leaned their
heads back on their shoulders when
they looked up''at Us as though We
we're a mile high, we don't think the
contemplated "inash" was much of q
success. But, then. we we're laborine
sn6er the Disadvantages we have men
toned, besides che wing tobacco, a,
the time, AID hence sec no reason &c,
being discouraged because Of this one
failure. The girls were not so very
good.l roking, any how.
A mile or Sd further on VIC s,rucl
an old gentleman who had many griev
ances against the government, bott
state and national. The former were
vented with energy and fdency when.
ever VIC told him what w9 th ugh,
such'and-such steer or horse va.
worth. "You are putting them en-
tirely too high" he siid, .@Pve AWAY,
PAID more taxes on them than the,
were worth. and it amt right" By
this lime the assessor" halluc'natior
had become q thorough bors 10 us. and
we were determined not to mako any
further explanation of our GRAND, nc
tnas'er for whom we might be taken
Still, as We we're very hungry, and a,
the old man L ad returned our poll, G
salutalipn with tho remark, The
bull - earth is swarming with
SCISSORS and book tree agents. and
as we saw no chance OF getting any
thing to eat there "a long as he wa.
in his present state Of mind, we con-
eluded to get on tie good side OF him
a. sooR as possible, and proceeded 10
do so by telling him to go ahead and
value his farm and stock himself
This he did with great willingness,
namirg for everything What the Jews
would call Job prices. while We pat
on his property whatever we consid-
cred the proper & lures and did oar
best TO keep our face stray ht, though
we did not entirely succeed. As we
made the last entry and turned to
leave the place, She owner stopped US,
and. with tho remark. You're the
most sensible SCISSOR, I've ever seen,
q compliment We understood and
aprreciated.) invited us into the hou ,e
to take bite He set out some
Dice pies and pitcher OF buttermilk,
OF which toothsome refreshments We
brought away with Us something like
four pounds. What a time Mr.. Hol
Williams is going to have collecting
that mans taxes as laid by Squire
Gibson and then 're-assessed' by
ourselves!
"wHAH COULD u RAITU IT?"
One day, alter riding through a
long hollow for mile or more. We
came upon small clearing and q
newly built shanty. We walked in,
announced our business, and pro-
cseded to inteTroga;e the head of the
house concerning everything Ut In.
terest pertaining to himself or fami-
ly. We got along we'll enough until
we came TO the question calling for
the value OF all farm productions in
1885, which our victim declared him.
self utterly unable to answer. We
suspected the reason OF his rcticenoc,
and to help him along little we ask
ed him II last years crops weren't
worth about 5000. lie shot into the
air as though be had sat down on q
dozen tent pins.-f--l and --tioD +
he yelled, with his eyes almost start.
ing from their sockets, 'WhIh could
Q raith it7 Don't you see that there
hain't nothin' but little sweat.pstch
up against the hill and a half acre of
snake-pss ure here round the house? ?
The hull -- place amt worth 500 1!
Now, In the name OF God, Mr.. Stick
ley, I ask you, whah could e. raith
itY' His wife assured him that we
were no assessor, and we showed him
tue blanks and told him our business
was to ask questions and no, go round