Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-09-17

| be cold day when they get left, however.
SATAN could not work in a glass house. The
glory holes would scare him off.
| CHARITY is on the free list.
| RELIGION is often used as a cloak for crook
edness. That Y. NJ. c. A. young man who con-
| fesses himself thief committed his first
| crime when he stole the livery of heaven for
masquerading purposes.
NATURE is Gods loom, and humanity should
be satisfied with the product thereof.
MAILING clerks give Kings, Queens, Presi-
| dents and Statesmen black eye every day in
| the week.
L1PE is made up Of little things, including
| babies.
A COSTLY frame sets off poor picture, and
handsome attire makes plain woman attract
| ive-and she knows it only too well.
SHALLOW streams make more noise than
| navigable rivers.
| tipple.
THE anti-lottery bill awaits the Presidents
| autograph. Now you will have to patronize
the express companies instead of the mails,
boys.
SARAH BERNHARDT proposes to produce
Cleopatra" in more realistic manner than
Mrs. James Brown-Potter. She will introduce
live reptile in the death scene. If the serpent
is any size at all it will be hard to tell the
snake from the star. Neither will have any
clothes on to speak of.
THE Jersey pair who welded after two min
sey lightning.
THE Beaver-Lawrence conferees don't seem
to confer worth a cent
FAIR woman is the truly original package.
"REFRESHMENT for the human soul'' is
big line on the posters of one of the shows
billed this week. 1t is served in skirts by high
kickers.
APEACH stone set in aluminium makes a
costly wedding present.
THE fellow who buys tips on horse races loses
more than the fellow who trusts to luck and
goes it blind.
WHY does a bright actress turn her back
upon the public in her Autographs? Bareback
exhibitions only draw In a circus-or in the
drawing room.
"TULLE makes pretty hat" says fashion
writer If for the theater. don't make them
too tall.
THE Board Of Health should suppress the
sickly smells emanating from cheap cigarettes.
CHARACTER is the club which guards your
reputation.
You cannot preserve beauty by painting it,
girls.
THE American four-legged hog seems to be
receiving better treatment in the royal courts
than the two-legged one.
SOME of the creatures who haunt communi.
ties are worse than ghosts.
THE fellow who kites checks is a high-dyer,
A WRITER has figured that 80 per cent of
New York's rich men began life penniless.
They were all born before Boss Tweed went
into business, you know and had a chance to
share in the profits. POOR men of the present
have not such golden opportunities.
THE hands that have smashed noses are now
striking attitudes.
THERE are 80 cities under the starry fag with
a population over 100000. This is great coun-
try, IN spite Of the politicians and the growlers
PEOPLE can lose their heads and live.
AND now the reformers have tackled At
lantic City. It's fruitful field. A tidal wave is
about the only thing that can absolutely purify
it. though. A moral wave is hardly equal to the
task. 1t will have no more effect than a gentle
comber.
DEyILED crabs are on the lunch counters.
DUsKY aces, soft voices and shapely forms
seem to draw well in Pittsburg. Colored bur.
lesquers are novelty destined to be cultivated.