The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1890-09-21
GERM DESTROYER.
-. 4 & for Little Tin Gods

a.ount Il 10 for Little Tin Gods
ssSe~ 1Reot Jove mods;
- fsfne Tin Gods make their little mistakes
. 4 nieGipg the hour when great Jove wakes.
a. ssnsral rule. II IL inexpedient to
,eddle With questions Of state In land
,Lere men are highly paid 70 work them
- fcr you. This tale IL q justifable ex.
ap6cn.
0nce in every i've years, o. you know.
= hdeut for . new vicsfoy; and each
iros imports. with the rest Of his bag
- ! private secretary, who may or may
- s. the real viceroy. Just - fate
aednins. Fate looks after the Indian
uuiss because 1t IL 20 big and 20 help
~
I'm Was viceroy once who brought
II Nth him turbulent private secretary
.Aherd man with . soft manner and
800 passion for work. This secretary
= called Wonder-John Fennili Won
p. The viceroy possessed no name
soohins but string Of counties and two
Nlrds Of the alphabet after them. He
-. II confidence. that he Was the cleo
rerlstod ngure-head OF golden admin
hhstion, and he watched in . dreamy,
mused way Wonders attempts to draw
nsttofs which were entirely outside his
moylncs into his own hands. when We
n u cherubims together" said his ex-
susncy once. my dear. good friend Won
daWill lead the conspiracy for plucking
at Gsbriel's tail feathers or stealing
rl8's keys Then shall report him."
But, though the viceroy did nothing to
~ Wonders officiousness, other people
~ unpleasant things. Maybe the men,
I'M Of council began II; but finally all
imlA ogreod that there was TOO much
Wonder and too little viceroy" in the re-
tme. Wonder was always quoting This
noslsncy.n II WAS .'his exceflency
u = This excellency that" "1n the opin-
- d his sxcellsncy," and 90 on. The
viesroy smiled. but he did not heed: He
~ that 20 long IS his old men squabbled
~ his dear, good Wonder" they might
y Induced to leave the "Immemorial
Int" in psaoe.
mo wise man has . policy" said the
vicesoy. "a policy Is the blackmail levied
% ~ foOi BY the unforeseen. ann not the
ioTnef, and do not believe in the latter"
lido not quits see what this means, un-
lee Il refers to an insurance policy. Per.
hsps i was the viceroy's way Of saying:
.Lie low"
Thss season came up to Simla one Of
!hsss crazy people with only single idea.
but they are not nice to talk to. This
nans name was Mellish, and he had
nssd for fifteen years on land of his own, in
Iowsf Bengal, studying cholera. He held
tat cholers Was Q germ that propagated
ioolf - Il dew through muggy atmos-
Dhezs, and stuck n the branches of
tsea IKE woolfake. The germ could b
lsdeTsd sterile. he said, by ''Mellish's Own
Iavincible Fumieatory"--a heavy violet
hack powder-"the result Of fifteen years.
hvestigation, STRIP
Inventors seem very much alike a 4
aDte. They talk loudly. especially about
Aonspiracies of monopolists"; they beat
pom the tables with their fists, and they
ncrete fragments Of their inventions about
4eir persons.
Mellish SAIL that there was . medical
ring" Ut 6imia, headed by the surgeon
pneral. who was in league. apparently,
WITH oil the hospital assistants in the en-
Pre-. I forget exactly how he proved IL,
p TO the hills; and what Mellish wanted
vas the independent evidence of the vice
ny-''6tsward of our Most Gracious
Majesty the Queen, Sir" So Mellish went
" 70 Simla, with eighty -four pounds OF
rumiGatory In his trunk, to speak to the
Icsrcy and TO show him the merits Of the
invention.
But It l. easier to see . viceroy than to
hk with him, unless you chance to be as
Important as Mellish Of Madras. He was
ssx-thcusand-rupee man, so great that
contracted alliances" He himself Was
rot paid. He received emoluments."
nd his journeys about the country were
~tours Of observation" His business was
hstir up the people in Madras with q long
pleas you stir up tench in pond, and
ee people had to come mp out OF their COM
iortable old ways and gasp: This il En-
tghtenment and Progress. Isn't it finen'
lhsn they gave Mellishe statues and las
nine sarlands, in the hope Of getting rid of
nellishs came up to simla ITO confer
Nth the viceroy." That was one of his
prsuisites. The viceroy knew nothing Of
Aelishe except that he was lone of those
nMdle-class deities who seem necessary to
ne spiritual comfort of this paradise of
ne middle classes" and that, In all proba-
anty he had suggested, designed, founded
ND endowed all the public institutions in
aadras." Which proves that his excel
.acy. though dreamy, had experience of
aeways Of 6,OO0-rupee men.
.aellishes name was E. Mellishe, and
sarsh's was f. s. Meliish, and they were
esh staying at the same hotel, and the
sIe that looks after the Indian Empire
3oained that Wonder should biunder and
mop the hnal "e," that the Chaprassi
nould help him. and that the note which
nn: Dear Mr.. Mellish - Can you
aside your other engagements
0o lunch with me at 2 to-mor-
mst His excellency has an hour
your disposal then. should be given to
ss.sn With the Fumikatory. He nearly
~ with pride and delight. and at the APP
nted hour cantered to Peterhoff. big
p9 bag. full of the Fumigs-
ladh chance, and he meant to make the he
sof II. Mellishe. of Madras, has been
previously solemn about his confer
That Wonder has arranged for q
usse nmn-no A. d. Co.'S, no Wonder, no
uos the viceroy who said plalntively
~ = feared being left alone with un-
sIneo sutocrats like the great Mellishe,
Bat hia guest did not bore the v,cerov.
we contrary. he amused him. Mellishe
~ rsfvousiy anxious to 60 straight to
mn ..nmigatory, and talked at random
0mn was over and his excelIency
80 him to smoke. The vicerov was
TX chop" ' " 1'0 "o'
~ seon Is the cheroots were lit, Mellish
- nke man; beginning with his chol-
0eory, reviewing his fifteen years
se-iu iabors," the Vaccinations OF the
le~;1 KING" and the excellence of his
Hsesssofy. while the viceroy watched him
1srt,. !, nai'shut eyes and thought: "Evi-
eisir.sn ,s Is the wrong tiger; but it is an
ass1 animal" Mellish's hair was
H~ng on end with excitement. and he
IN. .sed; He began cropping in his coat
-. before the viceroy knew what
a 81 S ny 70 happen, he had tipped bag
6sv "s powder into the big silver ash
AIc6ee for yourself. SIR" said Mel
Nj Sxceilency shall Judge for your
h rssoiuteiy infaliible. on my honor"
I'M uneed the lighted end OF his cigar
IS ne powder. which began to smoke