davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1890-01-02
A COMPOSITE NOVEL.
The Story of One Author Wound Up in an
Unexpected Way by Another.

Major Calhoun, n of the most pro-
life of modern story-writers, and Louis
Neuman, who is the author of three
composite novels, adapted from the
German, Spanish and italian, were
comparing experiences a few days ago.
Il once had arather exciting passage
with Ned Buntline,n said the Major.
HE was writing a story for a weekly
paper on which we were both frequent
ly engaged, when he took a sudden
vacation. The publishers were in a
dilemma, as they had but a single in
stallment ahead. | was sent for and
told to read the chapters already print
ed, and then to set to work and finish
up the story in one or two installments.
'The multiplicity of characters
puzzled me. Finally [ resolved to get
rid of some of them, and | adopted a
very original method. I put a number
of them on board an excursion steamer
and then exploded her boilers, sending
them to kingdom come. With the rest
l worked out a plot to a climax and
then wound up the story.
THAT reminds me,' said Neuman,
''of a somewhat similar incident that
occurred in Paris. A highly sensational
story wa running in n of the daily
papers, and the chief had a few INSTALL
ments on hand when the brilliant
young author took it into his head to
90 off and get married. Then he set
out on a wedding tour, which was to
last a week. The installments were
soon used up, and another member of
the staff was directed to wind up the
story. He sent the heroine to a Watery
grave in the river Seine, he poisoned
the hero, slew the able who was the
sole witness of the marriage, and closed
the tale in the most tragic and harrow
inc manner. 1t was a dark and weird
success, you may believe. At the end
of a week the author showed up. He
had with him several installments which
he rendered to his chief.
"'Your story is finished, M. -
said the editor.
"Pardon me- returned the undaunt-
ed novelist, it is not finished. I have
here the continuation, and there is more
to come. Indeed, the best part of it is
here
"'Tchut,' exclaimed the chief. why
insist? [ say it is finished. M.-had
to do it in your absence
81 am aware that he wrote several
chapters, said the unblushing TO-
mancer; but if you will kindly read
this manuscript, 1 am SUI you viii
agree with me that | am right
The manuscript was passed over,
and to the chiefs surprise it was a re-
markedly dramatic sequel to the story.
The heroine, instead of being drowned,
was rescued by some fishermen on the
river below Paris; the hero was saved
by a medical friend, who applied the
stomach pump in time, and the able
recovered from his wounds and was on
hand to bless the nuptials of the happy
pair.
My friend" said the composite now
elist, as he turned to the contemplation
of a Portuguese book on short-horn
cattle, which he was translating for a
Mexican ranchero, 'there is no OBJ
stacle that true genius can not over
GOMEZ
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1890-01-02
Killing His Stomach.

'Give me a great double-barreled,
~center-tire, back-action drink of soda
and phosphate" ordered a jolly GUS
toner at a Cincinnati drug store. do
you KIN DIV what this favorite phosphate
of yours is doing for youP" asked the
venerable druggist, as the customer
drained his glass. "Killing the nausea
in my stomach" was the reply. eyes,
and it is killing your stomach, too.
Some of these days you'll want it cop
per-plated, and you'll want in vain.
Phosphate is something that no one
should take except after a full meal.
Why? Well, l will explain. You
wouldn't think that the infiammable
ends of matches were a proper thing to
eat, would you? But phosphate is de-
rived from phosphorus, and if you use
it to excess it will burn out your stom-
ach, Just as alcohol would if used to
excess. You feel benefited by it now,
but if you keep on the time will come
when you will wish you had never
heard of phosphate. Of course we sell
it because there is a foolish craze for it.
but / advise no one to use much of the
fiery substance" Should one use it at
alp" asked a reporter of the Times
Star. 'In moderate quantities just
after a full meal it will not hurt any
one; but beware of using it in excess or
on an empty stomach, for if you do
that organ will need half soling and
heeling some time"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1890-01-02
PEANUTS ARE A r
Last Years Crop in Virginia Was Poor,
but This Years Is Good.

PEANUTS are scarcer than | have
even known them before" said a
wholesale jobber in that circus delicacy
to a Washington Star man. Ordinari-
ly many hundred thousands of bushels
are carried over as reserve stock from
n year to another, for the nuts will
keep good almost indefinitely. But this
season nearly all ON hand viii be gone
when the time arrives, in October, for
the gathering of the new crop. You
see, last season was a very bad one for
peanuts, and the crop was almost a
failure in Virginia.
The country depends for its sup
plies OF peanuts chiefly upon Virginia,
does it not?:" asked the Star reporter.
q think l may fairly say yes. There
are 100000 bushels of them grown in
that state annually-more, | reckon.
than the entire crop of other states put
together. Tennessee produces about
800, 600 bushels and North Carolina
about 70 5000 bushels. Michigan, Geor-
g1a, and California also raise peanuts
largely, but the Virginia peanuts are
the finest of all and bring the highest
price. The business of growing them
has really become a vast industry in
the lower counties of the state and the
area OF farming land devoted to them
Is becoming larger every year, as the
husbandmdn learns the profit they can
be made to yield. The greatest peanut
market, of course, is Norfolk. Peters
burg comes second and Smithtield
third. In these towns there are many
big factories employed in the business
OF rendering marketable the nuts that
are sent in by the farmers. They are
first thoroughly winnowed and screened
to cleanse them, and finally are sorted,
the bad ones being picked u by
young girls who stand on either side of
revolving belts, upon which the pea
nuts are thrown. Afterward they are
packed in bags of ninety to 100 pounds
each and shipped to the jobbers in the
cities"
How about the peanut crop this
fall?'
Our reports say that it promises
admirably, both as to quality and guam
tity. The few we had from Virginia
last year were not s. good as usual.
Prices are going down a little, but best
hand-picked peanuts bring z 1-2 cents
a pound at retail to-day by the bag.
Spanish peanuts bring more, of course.
They are still considered a fancy arti-
Gle, though more of them are grown in
southern Virginia every year. Here
are a few. You see they are about
one-third the size of ordinary peanuts;
confectioners use them mostly, because
they are sweeter. The very big ones
are never so sweet or well-tlavored as
the little ones. Take the red Tennes-
see nut for instance. 1t has frequent
ly five or six large kernels in one shell,
but the meat is rank. California pea
nuts are big, like everything else grown
in that state, and they are not bad; but
none have come to this market for
many wears so far as know
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1890-01-02
How They Find Gold in the TransvaaI

A Well-knoWn resident or the repub-
lie, it is said, while out hunting one
morning. saw a koodoo bull which he
tried to stalk. After he had slightly
wounded the animal, and while he vas
riding after it down a stony declivity,
his horse stumbled he was thrown, and
his rifle was broken. At this the koo-
doc turned and attacked the man,
knocking him down and attempting to
kneeI on him. By holding the animals
forIegs the man kept the buck upright,
but the animals horns had evidently
entered the bank for some distance and
its head Is held down close upon the
mans br It. The animal seemed as
anxious 8 he man to get the horns
loose. but as evidently helpless, the
horns beiI held fast in the ground.
Held thus unable to move, man and
beast remained in the broiling sun all
dav. At night jackets and wolves
came proving about, and even brushed
against the man and sprang upon the
buck. But the yells of the man and the
kicks Of the buck kept them at bay un-
til dawn, when they skunk away. Soon
after daylight a rifle shot was heard
and a bullet slightly wounded the man
in the forehead. By waving his hand
kerchief and shouting he prevented
further firing, and the hunter, who had
at first seen only the buck, came up
and learned the real situation. Wish
ing to take the animal alive, he hur-
ried off to the nearest farm and brought
back men with ropes and shoyels, who
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1890-01-02
FEMALE
A Key to 1t That Was Furnished Many
Years Ago.

In the first part of the present GEN.
fury there was published a clever little
satire called THE Miseries of Human
Life; or, The Groans of Timothy Testy
and Samuel Sensitive" In it, under
the heading ''Miseries of Fashionable
Life," is a Key to Female Perfection"
from which we give some extracts:
IF you play at cards abstain as much
as may be from the game of whist,
which, without great care, may en-
gender a manly solidity of understand
ing, not to mention the lines which the
attention necessary to this game may
impress on your countenance; games
of chance and such as do not exclude
casual sallies of elegant mirth are alone
admissible. Avoid chess as you would
a tiger or a serpent.
There is a captivating method, more
easily conceived than described, of APP
pearing inattentive and uninterested
when literature, politics, antiquities,
and other such masculine subjects are
~canvassed, and of gayly and sud-
denly in~terrupting them by starting
lighter topics.
"Cowardice is absolutely indispensa-
BILE. To turn pale (perhaps leave the
ROOM at a bare allusion to a robbery
committed at any distance of time or
place, to scream at the report of a gun
however remote, or the sight of a pistol
known to be unloaded, are recommen-
dations in which the most Impractical
candidate for female honors is seldom
deficient.
"Be it never forgotten that your
powers of conquest are not to be more
fatally shaken than when you mix,
however slightly, in a political debate.
1t may be doubted whether you can
iustifiably be acquainted with any
passing event of this nature short of
actual invasion.
"Frailty of memory, if natural,
must be acquired. Names of unusual
length or difficulty will naturally bur-
den your recollectious; this genuine
forgetfulness is to be artifcially pro-
tracted, a degree of mental weakness
very happily harmonizing with that of
the body which is to be inculcated. |
add that a treacheroUs memory ex-
hibits to no small advantage a delicate
hand hurried with agitation across the
forehead.
Continual health, which it but too
often attended by strength and by bold
ness, is by no means eligible. Nervous
complaints in all their protean varieties
and the more interesting classes Of
headache should be frequent.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1890-01-02
Ancient Inks.

According to the Roman naturalist,
Pliny and other authors, the basis
of ink used by ancient writers
was formed of lampblack, or the black
taken from burnt ivory and SCOT from
furnaces and baths. Some have also
supposed that the black liquor which
the cuttle-fish yields was frequently en-
pIoyed. One thing is certain, that
whatever were the component ingredi-
ents, from the blackness and sOlidity in
the most ancient manuscripts, from an
inkstand found at Herculaneum, in
which the ink appears as thick as oil,
and from chemical analysis the ink of
antiquity was much more Opaque, as
encaustic, than that which is used in
modern times. Inks of different colors
were much in vogue. Red, purple,
blue, and gold and silver inks were the
principal varieties. The red was made
from vermiliOn, cinnabar and carmine;
the purple from the mureX, n kind
of which, called the purple ~encaustic,
was appropriated to the exclusive use
of the emperors. Golden ink was
much more popular among the Greeks
than among the Romans. During the
middle or dark ages the manufacture
both of it and of silver ink was an ex-
tensive and lucrative branch of trade,
and the Illuminated manuscripts which
remain are a striking proof of the high
degree of perfection to which the art
was carried. The making of the inks
themselves was a distinct business, and
another connected with it and to which
it owed its origin was that of inscribing
the titles, capitals as well as emphatic
words, in colored and gold and silver
i11Ic
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1890-01-02
A Rabbits Foot.

Col. Charles Y. Wilson, Kentucky's
state agricultural commissioner, has a
rabbits foot with a history to it, which
he intends to present to the next speak
er of the house of representatives, with
the request that it be handed down in
the direct line of succession each suisse
quent term of the legislature. The
rabbit had but three legs, and was
caught in the cemetery at the dead
hour Of midnight by a one-leggedman
Before he got it the whole neighbor-
hood had been praying for rain to ave
the crops. But when he took the rab-
bits foot in his hand, rubbed the fur
and made a few mystic signs, to his as
constituent in a short while the great
clouds began to pour a deluge of water
over the thirsty land. Col. Wilson had
it tipped with silver for a talisman to
be suspended as a watch charm and
used by the speaker of the house, like
the magical ring in the Arabian
NiOhts.n
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1890-01-02
Lucky Engineer.

The latest Partisan sensation is the
strange case of the lovely widow and
the lucky engineer. SAYS a Paris dis
patch to the London telegraph. The
son OF science is only a humble worker
In the lower walks of his profession, and
as he was Sauntering along the banks
of the Seine. near Neuilly, the other
day. lazily and listlessly, he espied a
tall, graceful, and charming lady, at
tired in widows weeds, walking quick
" down to the waters edge. After
having looked about for a moment the
lady suddenly jumped into the river
and was soon floating helplessly away
on the current. The engineer took off
his coat, hat, and boots, and was in the
water in the twinkling of an eve.
Striking boldly out for the lady he
reached her before she sank for the
third time and skillfully conveyed his
almost lifeless burden toward an ada
cent boat, which had been put out from
shore by two bargees. The lady and
her rescuer were taken into this craft,
and r~estOratiyes having been applied,
the lovely one, all in black arrayed,
opened her eyes and asked to be car
ried home. Her wishes were complied
with promptly and her gallant rescuer
accompanied her to a semi-baronial
villa not far from the riverside. Next
day the engineer called TO see the lady,
who thanked him most warmly and
asked him to come again. He did as
he was requested, keeping up his visits
for nearly a week, at the end of which
time he succeeded in winning the hand
and heart of the lady whom he had
saved from drowning. As she happens
to be the pOssessor of a handsome joint
ure, as well as of houses, lands, and
chariots, all is about to 90 as merry as
a marriage bell, and the wedding
March, will be played in a suburban
church at no distant date. Itisneedless
to add for the benefit of those curious
in such matters that the fair widow had
been eaten up with ennUi, and that life
became so utterly unfit to live for, in
her estimation, that she resolved to end
it by a cold bath in the Seine. Luckily
the young and intrepid engineer APP
peared at the proper moment, saved
the lady, and will now be able to teach
her that Sc~hopenhauer, Leopard, and
all their crew of petty pessimists are
absurd reasoners, and that life is
worth living after all.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1890-01-02
work no ~lonUer.n

work no longer"
Il suppose I am the only man in
America to-day who has shaken hands
with one of the Pharaohs. 1t was a
dusty hand, but / shook it."
On his departure for Turkey he de-
scribed his Congressional experience
thus: mo longer for me the Speakers
gavel with its rap, rap, rap; no longer
the five minutes debate upon a six
penny appropriations; no longer that
previous question, '~thatdynamite which
destroys so much of parliamentary
power. Othello's occupations gone
gone to the Hellespont."
1t is well to be a Christian, but
there is no use in joining the Salvation
Army. 1t is well to be right, but
not excessively right"
To the exclusion of foreign actors
from this country he was decidedly OPP
posed.
II say with Hamlet" he remarked
once, "as to ali who come, whether as
stars or strollers, Let the players be
well bestowed.''
On another occasion he said: IF stars
are to come in and their aids be dis
allowed, where and how a you erect
a standard for stellar glory? Stars, we
know, differ in glory, and On are
quite Intellectual in their fires; some
may be stars so attenuated as to be
nebulous, and others hardly rise to
lunar, asteroid or meteoric proportion.
Who shall be judge?"
These are but few of the very many
bright sayings uttered by this light
hearted humorist, but they suffice to
show his intellectual caliber in this re-
SPECIFY. 7. Herald.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1890-01-02
The Fox and the Rabbit.

Il swear" said a fox to a rabbit one day
IT'S a story they often relate in the south
You shall be, Mr.. Rabbit, ere sunset my
And he threatened him fercely with wide
open mouth.
The rabbit set off at the top of his speed.
Resolving by flight to GET ont of the scrape:
But, hotly pursued. soon discovered the need
Of adopting a trick to effect his escape.
So he ran to a welfcurb which CHANGED to be
A windlass that two spacious buckets pos
sessed,
And leaping in one = both were empty and
dry
Very quick at the bottom found safety and
rest.
As one of the buckets thus suddenly fell,
The other and lighter rose equally fast;
And when Reynard arrived at the top of the
He thought to himself, II have got you at
lastl"
"My friend, why didn't you take them both
Said the fox, as he bowed to the n that
now swung
30 high and inviting; this nonsense well
end;'
And into the bucket exulting he sprung.
You see his mistake; for his heavier weight
To the surface the rabbit full speedily drew,
Who said while ascending, "Life's changes are
great;
Now up and now DOWN. Mr.. Reynard,
adieu!'
Then off hoped the rabbit, and lived. I sup
pose,
Esteemed by his friends, to a happy old
age;
While the fox, when the day came at last to a
close,
Was caught by a farmer and put in a cage.
Now all of this proves what has often been
said
OF the slips that occur 'twixt the lip and the
cup;
So If up, do not boast there are hazards ahead;
If down, don't lose courage, you soon may
be up.
Wide Awake.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1890-01-02
Garfeld'S Physician.

DR.. D. Hayes Agnew, of Philadelphia,
who was n of President Garfield's
consulting physicians after the shoot
ing, is now seventy-one years old. By
reasons of his age and undoubted abili-
ty he stands at the head of the Phila-
delphia medical fraternity. He has
never sought honors-they have invari-
ably come to him. DR.. Agnew is the
frankest of men-he really carries his
heart on his sleeve. His charges are
frequently remarkably small. On one
with a roll Of greenbacks amounting to
$1,000. expecting to hand the doctor
the whole of it. Imagine his surprise
when he was told that S25 would settle
the account. If a patient is in tempo
rary financial straits or really poor Dr..
Agnew would much rather not be paid
at al.-Ep0ch.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1890-01-02
Queer Freak of Nature.

A curious freakof nature is reported
in the lower end of Dorchester county,
saws a letter from Cambridge, Md. An
old resident named Alfred James was
in town last week, and in speaking Of
the affair said: Il have been living on
the strip of land that makes out be-
tween the Wicomico and Nanticoke
rivers for the last fifty years and have
never seen anything like it before.
About two months ago we noticed that
a place about sixty feet square, where
there had been a hill ever since | could
remember, had begun to sink down,
and ever since then it has been getting
lower and lower every week. At first
we did not notice it very much, but
now every one on the place seems to
be afraid to 90 near the spot, and, in
fact, it is dangerous to 90 too near.
The place has now sunk about twelve
feet below the level of the earth, and
is filed with water. The land around
the hole is sort of crusty, and will
break up like stone.
I'VE can assign no reason for 1t eX-
cept that there is an undertlde that
gets in somewhere and is eating away
the land. This is the second strange
thing that has been discovered
there in the last forty years. About
1852. while making an excavation at
this place about forty yards from where
the land-sink is, some men discovered
an Indian canoe containing the skele-
tons of four men about twenty feet be-
low the earth. In the were
found several Indian pipes and bows
and row The boat was Of a very
fine Workmanship and handsomely
carved. 1t is supposed that the skele-
ton were those of Indians, as the
Nanticoke tribe used to stay along the
Wicomico and Nauticoke rivers. tell
YOU we have a queer place down here
now, and If the land keeps on sinking
you viii see us all getting away.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1890-01-02
Railway Insurance.

The railway insurance known as
a "Medawar' system, already prac-
ticed on the continent, is likely pres
entity to come into operation in Eng
land. The ticket, for which no charge
is made beyond the usual railway fare,
will be a sort of wallet, and, besides
an insurance policy, will contain a map
of the journey, a hotel directory, and
theatrical and other advertisements.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1890-01-02
Her Bonnet.

81 declare" said Mrs. Sharpleigh,
turning from her mirror, I look like a
perfect fright with this horrid bonnet,
don't -" Yes, dear, replied her hus-
band a~bstractedly, without looking up
from his paper, you do Sharp
leigh. you're a brute! The bonnet is
the most becoming l ever wore and
makes me look ten years younger"
Il think so, too,n responded the
''brute," still absorbed in his paper
N. 7. Ledger.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1890-01-02

bound the buck and extricated the man.
But when the horns were at last freed
there was found upon each a mass of
metal, which upon being removed,
proved to be nuggets of gold, weigh
ING respectively eight and six and one
half pounds. This led to the discovery
of a rich gold-feld.-TransUaat Aduer-
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1890-01-02
ChateIaineS.

The fate of c~hatelaines in London is
sealed. They are to 60 out Of fashion
because they are now made in almost
every metal and are within reach OF
every one.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1890-01-02
Public Opinion.

Commend hard work.
Children should never doubt that you
mean what you say.
Never insist upon an active boys sit
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1890-01-02
English on the Continent.

Travellers report that more English is
spoken on the European continent this
year than eve before.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1890-01-02
Salt Lake.

Salt Lake in Utah is reported to be
eight and a half feet lower than it was
wears AGO.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1890-01-02

There is a ~postoffice in Shannon
county, Missouri, called Not.