Beverly banner. [volume] (Beverly, N.J.) 1877-1964, 1890-02-01
VARIETIES.

Truth is mighty, but she is ignomin
iously worsted when she encounters a
fishing excursion.
1t is little singular, to say the least,
that after man has been painting the
town red he usually feels blue.
To things which you bear with i'm
patience you should accustom yourself,
and by habit you will hear them well.
1t is we'll the book of life is opened to
us page by page. Were all the hard
lines barred at once the task would be
too hard to master.
What an argument in favor of social
connection is the observation that by
communicating our grief we have less,
and by communicating our pleasure we
have more.
A woman writes column to Bos-
ton paper on the subject, GLOW to
Treat Pretty Mouth" A man
would have thoroughly exhausted the
subject in two words.
One of the saddest things about hui
man nature is, that man may guide
others in the path of life without walk
ing in it himself; that he may be a
pilot and yet a castaway.
The language of the hour. Bob
"Sorry to hear, Charley, that you have
lost your job. Did they give you the
grand bounce ? When did it happen ?"
Charley: "Well, yes got my release
last night"
"Well, aren't Mr.. and Mrs. Jones a
team?" said Jenkins, as he watched his
host and hostess contributing to the
comfort and hilarity of their guests.
eyes" ruefully observed their little
son Johnny, who had been coerced in
to good behavior for the evening;
they're spanking team"
One-third of the fools of the country
think that they can beat the lawyer in
expounding law, one-half think they
can beat the doctor healing the sick,
two-thirds of them think they can beat
the minister preaching the gospel, and
all Of them know they can beat the
editor in running a newspaper.
1t is mentioned in Roberts life of
Hannah Moore, that in 1888 that lady
sat next to DIR. johnson, at a dinner
party at the Bishop of Chester's house.
She says, 81 urged him to take little
wine" He replied, 81 can't drink
little, child therefore | never touch it.
Abstinence is as easy to me as temper
ance would be difficult"
Customer =" 81 want to get uni
form made; and, say want you to
make it about three inches bigger,
everyday, than | measure"
Tailor-"That's a queer order. Want
it for some theatrical business, | sup
pose ?"
"No, sir Pm drum-major, and 1
want it to wear on parade days"
When a young man feels that he has
some one to fall back upon-a father
or mother who will supply his wants
without exertion on his part-he is on
the broad road to worthlessness.
When he strikes out resolutely for him
self, determined to make his own liv-
ing and hew out his own way in the
world, he is on the road to prosperity
and honor.
There was to be company at dinner
and Bobby's mother had cautioned
him to be careful ofhis behavior, espec-
tally to eat sparingly and always to say
"thank you" when anything was passed
to him. The older people were rather
numerous and, perhaps, rather hungry.
At all events they kept the hostess so
busy that she found no time to wait
upon Bobby. The little fellow grew
desperate. "Say, ma" he whispered,
after time, chow can | eat sparingly
and say thank you if l don't get any
thing.
During the civil war man great in
his own eyes was, by some influence,
appointed brigadier general His
sense of his own Importance was great
ly increased. He could hardly speak
of anything else but his new dignity.
Meeting "homespun" Yankee one day
he accosted him thus: "Well, Jim, L
suppose you know | have been appoin-
ted brgadier general?" eyes" said
jim; II heerd So" "Well, what do
folks say about it?" "They don't say
nothin,' replied truthful James "they
jest laugh"
To be honest, to be kind, to earn a
little, and to spend little less to make,
upon the whole, family happier for
his presence; to renounce, when that
shall be necessary, and not to be en-
Uttered to keep a few friends, but
these without capitulation; above all,
on the same grim condition, to keep
friends with himself-here it task for
all that man has of fortitude and
delicacy. He has an ambitious soul
who would ask more; he has hopeful
spirit who should look in such an en-
terprise to be successful.-R. l.. Steven
son.