The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1890-11-20
PlTH AND POINT.
A close call-The whisper.
Down in the mouth-The palate.

A close call-The whisper.
Down in the mouth-The palate.
A smoke housc-The opium joint.
Large checks are always fashionable
for lawyers suits.
A-"Accidents will happen" B.
"Not when you have policy"
It must have been wagon wheel that
first complained of "that tired feeling"
Teas Sytings.
Teacher Gn the Indian school at Hamp.
ton)-ssWhat is the masculine OF Hawk"
Small Indian-"Tomahawk, mum"
"That man has a good position"
"What is it2'' "Head up, chest VIII
out and legs straight. "-West Shore.
Druggist-"If you take this prepara-
ton of mine, you will never use any
other" Customer-'Is it as 1stal as
that?"
A caterpillar dropped upon
Her neck-yet she kept mum;
Let none with doubt this statement con,
For she was deaf and dumb.
Washington Post.
It would seem proper to seek for a
thing where you lost it, yet men con-
tinually lose their health in this county
and go to Europesto find it.-Dans0'11e
Breeze. ~
Dyspepsia aud disappointment il, love
seem to produce the same outward effect.
The difference. between them is that
dyspepsia is very hard to cure.-o"er.-
ollie Journal.s /.
: sniggins (augriIy)-"Do you know
that your chickens Come over IN my
yardlT snnoks-'tI supposed that they
did, for they never come back again.
Me.O York Herald.
Chow do you like keeping house IN
the Westl" "It's very difficult" "ser-
wants and provisions hard to geta" "No.
So hard to keep the house itself when
the wind gets vely."-Harpers Basar.
1t cheers the old maids to be taken for
girls,
They like it to last all their lives,
But there's something that pleases tnem
better,
Is lust to be taken for wives.
philadelphia Times
Country Resident Ito pedler)-"Ges
away from here, now, or if you don'tIll
whistle for my dog" Pedler--"All
right, sir; but first won't you allow ME
to sell you good whistlef-Fhe7snds
Blaetter.
Guest-"You call this hotel The
American Eagle but The American
Toucan' would be a more appropriate
name" Landlady so, sirT
Guest-"Because the toucan has the
largest bill of known birds. ."-Ldght.
Sergeant lin the instruction hour
"You see, the barrel is the most impor-
taLt part of the gun, for the inner part
of it gives the direction to the ball, while
the outer part of it gives the weapon tue
requisite length. "-Fliegende Blaetter.
There's nothing lost; the little grains of sand
Oft make up mountains girt with dread
and awe,
And the wee babe there sleeping on its cot
May some day be, perhaps, mother-in-
law.
---Philadelphia Times.
Fauntleroy on the Birth of the Dia-
mond.-L. L. Fauntleroy-"Dearest,
don't jewellers set big diamonds" Mrs.
Fauntleroy "Yes, Cedric" L. l..
Fauntleroy-"Well, dearest, do the big
diamonds hatch out little ones2"-Je'ctt-
ers' Weekly.
Minnie-"Even though it was my last
chance, l never would marry man VINO
was devoted to fad" Mamie-"Nos
Yet that is just what expect tn do
shortly" NIinnie-"And what is his
particular hobby, please" Mamie
"Me. ."-Mdianapois Journal.
Physiciau-"You have caught this
cold, young man, by carelessness. If
YOU will soak your head and be careful
to wear your overcoat when you go out
you will be all right" Young Spend
thrift-''No use trying that prescription,
doctor. I've soaked the overcoat. t.
Chicago Tribune.
Summerman-"Why, this is unusual!
Why, you are putting all the big apples
in the bottoms of the barrels and the little
ones on top" Uncle Hiram-"Yes.
Those fellers in the city are gettln' 80
ALFRED cute; they open the barrels from
the bottom to see whether we farmers be
tryin' to cheat them. "--Rackst.
There is a precocious six-year-old boy
who is wonderful in spelling and dehni-
ton. The other day his teacher asked
him to spell "matrimony." "M-a-t-r-l-
m-o-n-y," said the youngster, promptly.
"Now define it" said the teacher.
"Wcll," replied the boy, ~ don't know
exactly what it means, but / know
mothers got enough of it."-Pieay1ne.
"We had more fun at the party the
other night than ever saw in my life"
said little st. Anthony Hill girl to her
mother. "What was the cause of your
hilarity2" inquired the interested parent.
lone of the girls fell right through
chair, aud everybody laughed but me"
"Why didn't you laugh9" "l-I-l was
the little Girl who fell through tie chair.