The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1890-12-25

w WISH 1f NluDdtl auu SUay QulUe
e. spell. He came from the Sand
Hills Of Northern Nebraska, and
brought him hive of bees, which
he presented to Mr.. Kimball in a
modest speech. Then he would carry
his valise up stairs and register, and
visit, and talk about Browning, and
eat onions, and sleep on pillow shams,
and sit on the porch with his shoes
off, and over eat, and tell Mr.. Kim
ball about his troubles every sum-
mer.
He was invited.
Then there was 8 man who regu-
larly used to bring in an armful of
crooked-neck squashes, and ask for
pass and a position as conductor
across the tridge, which was regard
ed as a good berth because it was a
short run, and the conductor who
could not save up something at 80
cents head across the bridge, was a
mighty extravaganza man.
Mr.. Kimball asked him.
There was another man who want
ed job for his son on the road, SIM
ply because he was IAN old-timer."
The man did not know anything
whatever, and his son inherited the
same cerebral wart. "Will you tell
me, why an 'old-timer' is entitled
to greater considera ton than any,
body else?" asked Mr.. Kimball with a
kindly smile.
"Why, condern it," says the old
man, as he scratched his own head
quarters against the Union Pacific
headquarters, II was here when
there wasn't nothin' here at all. 1
come here before you did. leone
here before the Mizzoory river did.
Show me Teller that is here to- day.
that won't say that old Beazley was
here when he come! Why, gosh all
hemlocks, when l come here, Council
Bluffs was a dimple on the face of
nature. That's when / come here"
"Well," says Mr.. KimbalI, II cam t
see, myself, why an old settler who
has just simply skinned out of
civilization because he was too tri-
fling to stay where it was, should
come to Omaha, and stay a quarter
of a century because he couldn't get
up the spunk to go away, and then,
in his declining years, sit on the
cracker barrel of the present, and
chew tho cud of vanished years, and
ask that he be given greater con-
sideration because he was the first
man to come here. 1t is rather
against him, think, if he had the
first crack at it, and then got left by
people who came on later.
However, although I cannot
give your son a job, Mr.. Beazley, I
will compromise the matter. In a
few days Mr.. Garrett O'Neil is going
to blow up a carload of nitro-glycer-
inc on the Laramie division, and I
would be glad if you would come"
He said he would do 50 if his other
engagements did not prevent. This
would have been humor of high
order if it had come from man who
knew enough to appreciate it, be-
cause he never had any engagements.
He didn't even make an effort to
meet his children when they were
born.
Mr.. klmball asked him to be pres
ent at the explosion.
When all was made ready, and the
guests and the Chinaman present,
Mr.. O'Neil instructed some of his
most disagreeable workmen to un-
earth a barrel of the nitro glycerine,
and remove the head. This was
done carefully, for even a careless
man will show thoughtful qualities
while he is handling nitro glycerine,
even if you had not suspected him
of it before. ....s.s
Then they built a fire, and put tho
open end of the barrel up to it. You
may not believe it, if you are not
familiar with nitro-glycerine, but the
lardy substance melted gently, ran
out of the barrel into the fire, and
consumed as mildly and pleasantly