The Portland daily press., 1890-11-05
Baby cried,
Mother sighed.
Doctor prescribed: Castorial

Mother sighed.
Doctor prescribed: Castorisl
"pve got the best Of that murtherin' railroad
this time, anyhow" said a Hibernian who had
grudge against the company in question.
chow is that, Dennis?' asked bystander.
ave bought a return ticket and Pm not CON-
ing back at ALL at ALI" was the triumphant reply.
Boston Com. Bulletin.
If you had taken two of Carter's Little
Liver Pills before retiring you would not have
had that coated tongue or bad taste in the mouth
this morning. Keep vial with you for occa-
sional use.
Her Requirement.
Mr.. Newboodle- Want anything down town
today, M'rah?
Mrs. Newboodle (who has just joined literary
club)-Yes; you might bring me box of facile
pens, because Pm writing an essay. All writer's
use facile pen now they say.
Away! Away! There is danger here!
A terrible phantom is bending near
With no human Look, with no human breath,
He stands beside thee-the haunter-D DEATH"
If there is one disease more than another that
comes like the unbidden guest at banquet, it is
Catarrh. Insidiously it steals upon you with no
human BREATH 1t gradually, like the octopus,
winds its coils about you and brushes you. But
there is medicine, called Or. Sage's Catarrh
Remedy, that can tear you away from the monster,
and turn the scythe's point of the reaper. The
makers of this wonderful remedy offer, in good
faith, a standing reward of $500 for an incurable
case of Catarrh In the Head.
Mrs. De Shopper (breathlessly)- leave my
purse here? lost it somewhere.
Clerk (who had worked an hour showing Mrs
De Shopper goods without being able to sell her
anything).-I will inquire. madam. Cash! Cash!
empty purse anywhere around here this morn
ing.-New York Weekly.
How is your cold? Use Johnson's Anodyne
Liniment or it may last all winter; certain fact!
Jehones-Samith, l am told you delivered your
maiden political speech at the opera house last
night How did it go?
Samith with enthusiasism) tremendous
house, Jehones-pe tremendous.
Jehones-'M-yes, 1 know the house is a large
one. How about the audence2
nearly hundred of 'em, Jehones-nearly a hun
dred.-Chicago Tribune.
The usual treatment Of catarrh is very I'M
satisfactory, as thousands Of despairing patients
can testify. A trustworthy medical writer says:
proper local treatment is positively necessary to
success, but most of the remedies in general use
by physicians afford but temporary benefit. A
cure cannot be expected from snuffs, powders,
douches and Washes" Ely's Cream Balm is
remedy which combines the important requisites
of quick action, specific curative power with per
feet safety and pleasantness to the patient.
Hardbake-And you say you started out this
morning with Green for ten-mile walk?
Snarlegh-That's what said.
Hardbake-Weren't you Tired by the time you
got back?
Snarleigh-Oh. no; Green only accompanied me
part OF the way-Brooklyn Life.
The people are happy and saving money, when
Salvation OIL sells for 25 cents
The most popular and useful cough remedy in
the world is Dr.. Bulls Cough Syrup
The Lucky Ones.
81 have beautiful wife,"
"You have, indeed"
what! Have you seen herr"
"No, but never saw an ugly man married yet
who didn't get the pick of the fock."-New York
Sun.