The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1890-10-30
COMBlNG THE COLONEL.

ing election Of County judge. Ths
nominating convention was to meet OF
Saturday, and on Friday night two vel
known. politicians caught in rain storm
stopped at the house of old John Perdue
The politicians, Maj. Bloodgood and Col
Noix, were sly candidates for the coveted
position-so sly, in fact, that neither one
knew of the schemes of the other.
After supper, while old John and hi:
guests were sitting on the porch talking
over the coming struggle and listening
to vet katydid that held vesper servi
ces in a locust tree, old John, getting uE
and stretching himself, said to the major
"Let me see you moment, please"
The major followed him to the end Of
the gallery. "Major," old John whis
pered, lam compelled to tell you some
thing. You gentlemen are welcome tc
stay with me as long as You like, but
ability to accommodate cannot alway;
be measured by willingness to do so
The truth is I haven't but one spare
bed"
"But can't the colonel and I sleep to.
gether?" the major rejoined.
"Yes, you can, but the truth is the
colonel Is awfully peculiar"
'How so?"
"Well, as rational as he appears while
stirring about, he's strange man in bed
Our families, you know, are we'll acquaint.
ed, and I therefore know all about him
His popularity comes from scare he
received when he was child. It seems
that dog once tried to bite him, ano
now, Just before he dozes of to sleep, be
begins to growl, and unless something il
done to stop him he begins to bite fear
fully"
"Humph," )" the major grunted, "that''
odd, but what can be done to stop hin
after he begins to growl?"
"Well, his brother told me how he uset
to work it. He always took a course
comb to bed with him and would rake
the colonel with it when he began t
growI. AS strange as it may seem, il
was the only thing mat would quiet him
The family doctor said that comb vat
somehow the only thing that would start
the blood to circulating"
"That's very odd. Aud would it quie
him ?"
"Would make him act just like lamb
Why, he uster insist that his brother
should take the comb to bed with him
He don't like to have any one mention
the freakish misfortune, as he always
terms it, but it would be doing him Q
great favor if you would take the comb
to bed with you and give him 9 rake in
case he should begin to growl. | arn
telling you this because I am your friend
and because ! know that you are good
timber, and especially because l hope
that you may secure his influence ifyou
should ever desire any Office. Don't you
know that we always respect the man
that understands our peculiarities before
we are asked to explain them to him ?
He is sensitive that way, and if he sees
that you understand him he will then
know that you have had your eye on
him, have held.him in your mind"
Gall right. You get me the comb,
and win go through with the ceremony
when the time comes"
"Here's one, put it in your pocket"
They returned to the colonel, and after
while, when the major stepped into the
house to get q drink of water, the old
man said Z:
"You and the major are good friends,
am glad to see."
Eyes" replied the colonel, ST think
he is first rate fellow"
"Glad you. like him, for you and he
will have to sleep together to night, for
the fact is I have only one spare bed" :.
"That will be all right reckon" said
the colonel.
eyes, but the truth is the major is the
most peculiar fellow you ever saw"
"In what way ?"
"As q bedfellow. [ am very intimate
with his family and know all about him.
It seems that. he had nervous trouble
when he YVES boy, and could not go to
sleep until some one growled like e dog.
have known him to lie tossing in bed
for hours at time, and then when l
would 20 to his bed and growl he would
doze off like a lamb"
II never before heard of an attiiction
so strange" said the colonel.
II either, but then it is a very easy
matter to relieve him. he and q fellow
named Buck Johnson were once oppos-
ing candidates for prosecution attorney.
Well, they had to sleep together one
night. Buck knew of his peculiar af1ic:
tion, and shortly after they went to bed
Buck began to growl. The major didn't
say anything that night, but next day be
withdrew from the race, declaring that
he would not run against so good man
as Buck.
"You don't say so?" exclaimed the
colonel.
"Yes do, and know it to be a fact.
would advise you TO humor him in the
same way"
"I'll do So"
"Hush, he's coming back"
ave are going 10 have more rain, |
think" said the major, as he resumed his
seat.
"Yes," the colonel responded, "but ]
hope that it will not interfere with the
convention. If the attendance is large
and the proceedings harmonious, the
result will be of great benefit to the
County"
"Who do you think will be nominated
for iudge?" old John asked.
"Neither of the candidates that have
beer named. We have better timber
than any of those fellers."
"Welj," said the major, yawning, "I
reckon we better 60 to bed, so as to be in
trim for the work tomorrow"
~ will show you the room," the old
man remarked arising.
The politicians were shown into an
upper room, and the old man, placing 8
candle on the msntelpiece, bade them
goodnight and went down stairs.
"What noise was that?" the major
asked when the old man had quilted the
room.
ri didn't hear any noise, " the colonel
answered.
IT did; it sounded like some one
gasping for breath"
lie might have heard q noise-might
have heard old John struggling to sup
press his laughter.
Suppose we go to bed," said the ma
jor. :,
call right. You go ahead and I will
blow out the candle"
Thav talked for snne time before lyiDp