davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-28
BRIGHT BITS.

"WHy do you call your parrot Honestly"
Because Honesty is the best Polly, see?'-
| Philadelphia Times.
AGENT-I'd make you my janitor, only must
| have married man.
| Applicant-Keep the place open for an hour
| and II NIX that. It's easier to get married than
| get Job-EDoch.
| AMBIGuoUs.-Nrs. X-I don't imagine MI
and Mrs. Nothink get on very well together.
| Mr.. X-They seem to be happy.
Mrs. X--I know it, but when asked Nothink
| the other day how he liked married life, he
| said happiness was 10 name for 1.-THE
Racket
LOST AN OPPoRTUNIrY.-"G George" said Es-
| telle, with a smile, your glove all ripped.
You ought to have some one to keep them in
| repair, and sew buttons on your coat"
You wouldn't like to-to-to be sister to
me. would you, EsCele?n said George. -Har-
| per's Bazaar.
| ''WHY are you fumbling in my overcoat?" he
| ASKED, as he glanced UP from his paper.
| Pm looking for a letter, replied his wife,
| why, my dear, You don't suppose"
No, | DON'T sac Interrupted. I'm not
| looking for another womans letter-for the one
| gave you 10 mai asst week. Epoch.
| LAWYER STRANGE Ito his wife)-When die
you must have nothing but the inscription
| Here lies an honest lawyer, put on my tomb
| stone.
Mrs. strange-But people won't know who
| you are.
| Lawyer cJidIlSC-Cs yes buGJ WiIls Luty Will
say: why, that's strange HaIVard
| LdmpoOR.
| 'WREw!'' exclaimed guest at one of the
hotels, as he looked over the bill, its regular
! Mississippi river, isn't it,"
what do you mean by calling it that?" in
quired the clerk
| Its SO blamed high
| ugh grunted the clerk, ''but it isn't water
that makes it so high and the guest went
down to the bottom as the clerk came up
| Washington Star.
ToMNY-Paw, what does the word "native''
mean?n
Mr. Fig--Why, it means what you are born
to, or in, so to speak.
Tommy-Then, when the teacher said that
| Mr. Cnun Gee was to deliver an address in his
native costume, did she mean that he was to
| speak in the costume that he was born in
| Mr. Figg-I guess it is about time you went
| to bed.-ierre Hdute Express.
| NED-You were having charming time in the
bow window with the beautiful Miss Lily
| growth?
| Nel-I overheard you tell her you loved her
above all things on earth.
| Charley--You did. you spy?
| Ned-Yes. But tell me, Charley, why did
| yousleave her so abruptly?
Charley-Well, the fact is, Ned, L wanted a
| smoke Chicago Times.
THE other day a seedy gentleman dropped
into cheap clothing establishment. He nosed
1 around awhile, and finally laid his hands upon
| a coat and vest of a loud color and coarse tex
ture.
flow much?" he said, laconically.
| 'Dree dollars"
Three dollars! That's too much"
dot vas sheap. mein freund. Dot was a
| good goat ind vest.
| Are they wool?"
The proprietor held up his hands
Are they volli" he repeater so helup me
gracious, nein freund, dey vas all vol except
| the buttouhoes !'-Detroit Tribune.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-28
When Girls Are Engaged.

You have little band around the third finger
of your left hand in which is set a TURQUOISE,
says the Ladies Home Journal and when it
was put there You remembered that the Hindu
said: He who hath turquoise hath friend =
Now that's what you have in the man you love
pest, ana whose wife you are going to become
"a friend; he Is your sweetheart, your lover
IL Is true, out because to you his heart seems
best worth having his love the richest gift YOU
can possess, you will not vulgariza as many
girls do, the tie that binds you. 1t is true you
go with him alone to hear some wonderful
music or look at some fine pictures, but hope
IL IS not true that when you are at party, or ia
your own home, you two rair off and make your
jesting.
lie can love you with his whole heart but he
must not make you object of ridicuIe He
can think you the most unselfish girl in the
world, but he must not show his own selfiShnesS
by expecting you to devot9 your evenings ex-
ciuslVely to him, Ignoring those who are at
nome Let him come IN and be one of them
there's dear five minutes when he can speak
TO you, when he can kiss you on the lips that he
knows are only the gates to sweet, pure speec =
ana when he can whisper TIE lovely nothings
that mean so much TO you both Then too
don t let him feel that he must give up all his
friends for you don't acce.t valuable presents
from him, and don't assume an air of pro
prletorShlp with him. Tell him nothing about
your family affairs, for the secrets of the house
mold 90 not even belong to the man you are
gong TO marry. Guard yourself in word and in
deed; hold his love in the best way pos IDLE; tie
1t flrmly TO you with the blue ribbon of hope
and never let it be eaten away by that little fox
VINO destroys so many loving ties and who is
called Familiarity
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-28
More Republican srates.

1t is part of the republican programme
of this congress to admit Wyoming and
Idaho into the union as states. Neither has
the requisite population. That is matter
of little Importance, however, in the esti-
nation of the republicans They desire
more republican states, because they want
to make sure of carrying the election of
1892. Wyoming and Idaho would give
them six votes in the electoral college, and
therefore they have determined to admit
them.
New Mexico has been knocking at the door
of the union for several years. No notice
of her, however, is taken. She happens to
be democratic territory, and would be- a
democratic state As long, therefore, as thu
republicans are in power she will not be ad-
mitted into the union, however great her
population may become, unless she changes
her politics. 1t is to be regretted that plb-
lie men are not influenced more by justice
and less by politics in dealing with public
affairs.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-28
PERSON AL.

IT IS SAID in Washington that Col. Perry s.
heeth viii not accept the of, Of tie Russian
government 10 make tour through the She
ran prisons unless he can 20 as q free agent,
WIN hoerty 10 write OF things as he sees them,
Z. A. ABBEY, the artist. who is soon to marry
Miss Gertrude Mead of New York city. is to re
ceive $4,000 from the HarDerS for illustrating
the entire series of Shakes1erian plays. AIr.
Aooey VIII reside In London after his marriage.
The PRINSE or WALES when going on jour
ney always takes along whole boxes of hats and
huge trunks of dress suits morning coats, and
other changes lie makes point when visiting
any Were OF not being seen twice IN the same
coat.
BARON EDWARD DE RoTHsCHILD, who is tour
ing the principal cities of this country, stipu-
lateS with the hotel clerk when engaging suite
o. rooms, that his name shall be kept off the
register, and that the reporters shall not be told
OF his presence.
HENRY IRVING and Ellen Terry intend to make
reading tour this summer through England
This has long been favorite idea with both,
ana they have mutually agreed that Shakes
p1aFe play OF Macbeth slall be selected as
tn subject of expo sition.
IT Is PROPOSED to erect a statue to the late ex-
President Woolsey of Yale College, and circu-
| lars will be sent in few days to the Yale
Alumni in all parts of the country and TO the
friends OF the university, inviting them to con-
| tribute toward its erection.
| NJ. RoUvIER, the French minister of finance,
Is about to contract a marriage with his niece,
! Nile. Cadiot of Dieppe VI. Rouvier lost his
| Irst wife about year ago. She was well
| known IN the literary world as a novelist under
| the name Of Claude VignOn.
| DIR. MESSENGER the coroner of New York, was
| once called in the case Of a laborer whose leg
was mangled in railroad accident, and whose
| friends wanted the Leg amputated, although
| there was no hope that lie would survive the
| operation. part of the published report of
/ tine case read: ''Dr. MeSsemer was called in,
but after feeling the PATENTS purse declined TO
/ perform the operation"
| LOTT is rated as the richest single woman in
the world who has earned her own money. Her
wise mother, who is an excellent woman OF
| business watches the markets, aud invests the
actress funds as fast as she rec lives them The
! little 'marcnioness'' owns a MOTEL in Boston, an
| apartment house in New York, and other real
estate IN " Washington, Chicago and Long Branch,
| besides stocks and bonds.
| EDWARD BELLAMY, it is said. is to become
editor of the Nationalist, published in Boston.
| As fact, Mr.. Bethany is not a member of the
| Nationalist S)ciety, AMI the members of the
| organization look upon Looking Backward as
! fantastic dream containing few germs OF
economic progress that are practicable and
| desirable. Mr.. Beany is too advanced for the
| natlonallsts, as he looks upon his book
| prophecy which will be fulfilled to the letter.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-28
Bore It With Fortitude.

Congressman Billy Mason of Chicago lives
during his stays in Washington at the Strath-
more Arms family hotel on Twelfth street
says the New York Tribune. Some time ago a
nice old lady who had known Mr.. Mason in his
boyhoodup in Cattaraugus county, n Y, sent
bottle of her very choicest homemade tomato
ketchup to him, saying she hoped it would
remind him OF the days when he used to come
over to her house, chubby little chap of 5 or
years. and stand around looking hungry and
friendleSS untn she covered a huge slice of
bread with ketchup and gave it to him.
IN save this, said the congressman, until
sometime when l have my boyhoo appetite
with me, - and he sat for a long time looking at
the bottle and musing over those joyous days
when the old homestead and the few neighbor-
ing houses constituted his world and shaped
and bounded his ambitions
The other day mir. Mason came home from a
long. tedious session of the IIo So, and busting
in preparation for dinner. said he was as hungry
as bear.
Are you as hungry as boy?'' asked his wife.
Yes; as hungry as two boys"
'Then this will be good time to open your
bottle of ketchup."
That's so,' said the congressman, AMI his
eyer sparkled with the anticipation of q whole
meal on bread and ketchup.
The Mason family were first at the table, but
soon the other guests of the house arrived and
the long family-like board was surrounded Mr.
Mason took few raw oysters 20 wnet his al
ready keen appetite for the bread and ketchup
Presently the lady who sat next O him raacIe /
over and helped herself to the ketchup.
Oh" said She, This is perfectly delicious
ketchup; try some and sue passed il TO the
gentleman next TO her. He in lurn passed it to
the next and so it went tn entire length OF III =
table. Then 1t crossed over and returned along
the other side. Higher and higher Dir. Mas N
saw each successive guest raise the bottom OF
the bottle as lower and lower its contents ran
Then tue last one spanked ths bottle and the
ketchup was gone.
ats no USE said the Congressman to his
smiling wife, "a man with seven children grin
ming IN his face might as well give up trying TO
make boy Of himself anyway" And after .
few minutes Of sober, philosophic silence he
said I'm glad didn get any n IL. / should
probably have been dIsappoInted."
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-28
A Race for q W ife.

AKRoS. O.. March 25.-Shortly before noon
to-day Jacob II. Sprankle, farmer of NIGGA
dore, drove up to the court house, his turnout
covered with mud aad showing hard driving.
he procured marriage license for himself and
Miss Lucinda Snyder Of Mogadore. After re-
relYing the precious document he asked
wn -ther another license could be issued for
some one else to marry the same girl Being
answered affirmatively he grew very excited,
and hastily start ID for MOgadore.
lie hai scarcely gone when another anxious
swan appeared in the person Of Samuel p.
Cramer. VINO took out a license for himself and
LUCINDA Snyder. Hearing of Sprankle prior
VISIT, Cramer hid consultation with his friends,
ana is said to have boarded a south bound Val
ley train for Krumroy station. three miles
from Mogadore. If he meets with no mishap,
Cramer SHOULD be able to walk the three miles
IN time to arrive before Sprankle.
The race for a wife apparently thus narrows
down to test of the railroad and a sturdy pair
OF legs against a good horse and buggy. All
the persons concerned are well-to-do and prom
lnent in tLeir community
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-28

1t is thought probable that Sheriff Flack,
of New York, will get a new trial on the
ground that tho jury was influenced to
agree to a verdict of guilty by the knowl-
edge that reporter who was concealed in
the jury room would publish the names of
those who were opposed toslch verdict, "a nd
that they would thus be expo ed to public
censure. II new trial is granted it would
be no more than right TO make the World
pay the expenses of the first trial if there is
any way TO do so. The reporter would not
have taken such a risk hal he not hal rea-
son to believe that the World wouli pub
lish what he obtained by his dsrep ltable
action.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-28
Seven Base Landlords.

Several members of two of the theatrical
companies which are playing in the city sat
arot n the festive board last evening says the
Detroit Tribune, and, as usual on such occa-
sions were telling stories.
Il remember" said one, ian experience we
mad when | was member of Jay company
playing through Michigan. We were in hard
luck wnen we struck the small town of b
and figured on having fair house. but the re,
suit did not sustain our hopes There were
about dozen people in the house, and several
of these got tired and left before the perform
ance was concluded. The next morning the
landlord struck our manager for our board bill.
- haven cent, said the manager.
Where do.you go from hereg
ITO x
"'All right. I'll go along and attach the box
80 the landlord accompanied us At x
we had bad house and there was nothing to
attach The second landlord asked the manager
for the amount due him for board.
" 1 haven't a cent said the manager
".Nhere do you so from here?
"'Ill go with you and attach the box office.
accordingly the second landlord made one
OF our party. At N the receipts were about
the same. and we picked up a third landlord,
Pretty soon we had seven landlords in the
company. This sort of thing was getting
monotonous. The manager called the stage
we might as well use those fellows he
said
"HowY"
=" Put them in the chorus Go down in the
parlor and try their voices
" he stage manager departed and in q short
time returned looking much crestfalIen
"'WelI:'
"The stage manager gave gesture of
despair.
~ have tried their voices and they are all
bassos For heavens sake, the next landlord
you pick up get TENOR
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-28
EDEI TO NEW ADVERTISEMENTS,

inIEE-Iyss-Live Oak Lodge No. 3, I. o. o. F..
Pulaski Council No. 153. R. A; Skidaway Shell
Read Company; Savannah Branch Southern
Travellers Association.
SPECIAL NOTICES Grand Rattle at Pixies Phar-
macy; Logan at the City Market; Notice as to
Bills Against British Bark Gler and German
Bark Leopoldshall; AS to Crew of Portuguese
Bark Triumpho; a Card from Mr.. Malpheus.
AMCsEMESTs-Lewis Morrison as ''Mephisto
in Faust" at the theater on Monday, March 81
CHEAP COLUMN ADVERTISEMENTS - Help
wanJei; Employment Wanted; For Rent; For
Sale; Personal; Miscellaneous.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-28
Button in His Nose.

a singular operation was performed in Balti
more the other day by DR.. J. w Hartley, the
patient being Capt. Respesi of Virginia Capt.
Re pess has suffered for twenty-five years with
some affection of his nose, which gave him q
great deal Of trouble and pain. He consulted
DR.. Hartley some six years ago. and was treated
by hun for necrosis. Not getting any relief the
captain consulted several other physicians, who
also pronounced isaffection TO be II crosis and
adopted the same treatment as DIR. Hartley, and
with similar results
When Capt. Respess called upon Dr. Hartley
that physician concluded to make a fur Their ex
animation. and. finding that something had
lodged ia the cavity Immediately beneath the
left eye, be inserted probe into the lett n)str
and raised some object. which he removed with
delicate inatru ent, and which proved 20 be q
whioe button three-eighths OF an iDch in diane
ter. which had probably been there since child
hood as il was very much incrusted.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-28

The MOANING News Is on ils a. the following
places. where Advertising Rates and other in
formation regarding TIE paper can De obtained:
NEW YORK CITY
;. H Raves, ) Psrz Row.
G. P r lEELL < Co. - Spruce street.
W " SHA p & c., q Park Row.
FsASE kIERyAS & Co. - Broadway.
DAUCEV s Co. 2 PARK Plaza
J. W. THOMPSON. SO PARK ROW
A1CERICAS NETsPAPEz Publishers ASSOCIATION,
Potter hiding
PHILADELPHIA
n. ". AYES & Soy, Times Building.
Boston
s 2 MIS-. % Washington street.
PE-TrE,s-5lL- & Co. 70 state street.
CHICAGO
LozD & TzoxAs, Is Randolph street.
Z ECINNATI-
EDE1y A1DE~ COMPANY. IS West Fourth street.
NEW HAVEN
TIE H P H-BaARD CoxPASY. = Elm street.
ST LOUIS
MSS CszsnAS & Co. llZ7 Pine street.
ATLANTA
M0zs1N7 Szrs BCREAU, So Whitehall street.
MACDN-
DAILY TE-E9zApH OFTIcE. sg7 Mulberry street.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-28
The Alliance and Congressman.

The National Farmers Alliance, in the
person Of its president, is going to appear
shortly before the congressional committee
which has in charge the bill which provides
for storing the crops of farmers in govern
ment warehouses, and issuing treasury
notes on them-to the extent of 50 per cent.
of their market value The president of
the alliance is reported as saying that this
or some better measure must be passed by
congress or congressman will encounter the
opposition Of the alliance if they seek re-
election.
There is no doubt that the farmers ought
to have some relief from their burdens, but
will this warehouse bill give it to them2 Is
it practicable measured? II it is congress
mon, no doubt. will support it but if it isn't
do alliancemkh want them to support it?
Nothing has2yet appeared in the public
prints to sapw that it is practicable, and the
alliancemei themselves do not seem to have
much confidence in it, or to have any idea
Of how it would work in practice because
they say they want it or something better
Why don't they ask for something better
at once, since they admit there is something
| better.
The MORNING NEWS is the friend of the
farmers and has always been ready to assist
them in any way that it possibly could IL
has advocated reduction of the tariff for
the reason that the farmers are the chief
sufferers from it, and for other reasons.
The farmers, however, appear TO ignore the
question of reducing the tariff, and yet it
seems to us that tariff reduction promises
them great deal more than the warehouse
| plan.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-28
SUGGESTIONS FOR The SEASON
Ife1fcnI .fn,.rnnr


Be specially careful Of draughts and sudda,
changes.
Do not overwork. OF what use is was,,t,
without health:
Keep your feet dry, but do not wear o,,,-
shoes all the time O'ur-
Remember that the pores of your Skin. vrb.-
IN health, are always open, and thar closin-t.
them causes sickness. 9iis
Dress warmly, but not heavily. Wooden cloth
escape is the best. -J "
Eat strengthening and hearty, but not To,
much greasy food. 1t is mistake to supposs
that fat food contains the most vitality
II you feel chilly at any Time take a Clrinl- Of
pure whisky at once. Duffy's Pure Malt is r.
purest and best, and has the highest recomn,e,
dations
Do not call the doctor for every slight al,
ment II you have cold, feel depressed ana
lack appetlte and Vigor you need sometime -
tone ana build up 5hs system. Nothing will do
TINS SO really as the pare article we have m.n.
toned.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-28
a Tarlv Pros acnfion.

The administration has finally begun the
pr secution Of two offenders against that
provision Of the civil service law which
prohibits the soliciting of contributions
from government employees for political
purposes. Ia our dispatches yesterday it
was stated that c. A. Newton and J. J..
\ Verser, who were president and tcea 7urer
respectively of the ''Old Dominion Rspuo-
/ lean League" an organization with head
/ quarters in Washington, had beea arrested
on warrants taken u. b. the civil service
commission. for soliciting money from gov
ernmeat clerks TO aid Gen. Mahons in his
last campaign for governor OF Virginia.
There is no doubt that the administration
has endeavored to protect these men. The
! attention of the Attorney General was
called to their ofsnse three months ago.
but he does not appear to have thought it
| necessary to take any hume iiate action
with respect to it. He acted as if he hoped
the whole matter would be- forgotten. 1t
was not forgotten, however, aad he was
forced TO take some action with regard to
il. He referred the matter to the district
attorney of the District of Columbia, and
that official saw no necessity for hurrying.
Double he hoped to please the admins
tration by his inactivity. He, to, was
finally compelled to do mis- duty by public
sentiment, and now the offenders are under
arrest. Viii they be brought to trial!
1t Is pretty certain that they viii not un-
less there are those who are ready to push
the prosecution. The administration doesn't
want them punished. 1t did all it could TO
assist Malone. 1t wanted him elected gov
ernor of Virginia. The President was par
tlcularly anxious for that result He thought
If Virginia were carried by the republicans
he would have the credit of having broken
the solid SOUTH
The administration has never shown it
self TO be particularly friendly to civil
service reform. If it could have its why
the civil service law would soon become a
dead letter. The Presi lent, in making APP
pointmentS, has ignored it to as great an
extent as he dared, and the membsrS of his
| administration have done the same thing.
The civil service commission. however,
| seems determined that Messrs. Newton and
Verser shall he punished. Tney certainly
ought to be punished When breaking the
law they acted in a defiant manner. They
seemed to think they would be protected in
what they did. They ought to be made to
understand that public opinion is stronger
than Presidents and cabinets.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-28
Settle the FeY,ela Si1ffra

Settle the Female Suffrage Question.
The constitution which Wyoming has
adopted, and with which she is asking ad-
mission into the union, provides for female
suffrage. Is it not about Tina for congress
to take decided staad with respect to fe -
male suffrage? 1t has never dealt seriously
with it yet 1t now has the opportunity t.
do So The woman voter is aggressive, and
is steadily gaining ground. sac has Sc
cured place in Wyoming's constitution,
and if her right there is admitted she viii
soon be claiming a place in the constitutions
Of other states
Representative Barnes of this state made
strong argument on Wednesday against
female suffrage He has the courag, of his
convictions. He does not believe that the
fathers of the republic ever intended that
women should have the right to vote, and
he thinks that it would be dangerous to re-
publican institutions to grant them that
right. Now is a good tims to settle this
female suffrage question. If Wyoming is
| admitted with her present constitution it
will be understood that congress favors
suffrage of that kind.