davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1890-06-07
AFpW Touches of Sarcasm.

Like ridicule, irony is often more eff
fectiye than argument, and may con-
vev suggestions and ideas in a terse
and pithy manner, as when one says;
You can't always judge by appear
ances: the man who wears a diamond
pin may he wealthy"
A gentleman. it was once said, never
intlicts pain. On which a wit remarks,
This is hard on the dentists.
Not bad story is told of an aged
clergyman who met a man loudly de
claiming against foreign missions
Why" asked the objector, doesn't the
church look after the heather at home? y
We do" said the clergyman quietly.
and gave the man tract.
so far as Won saw" said the counsel
10 witness, she was doing her ordi
nary household duty?" Il should sa,
so she was talking was the ironical
reply.
He never bad but one genuine case
III his life" said a lawyer of his rival,
and that was when he prosecuted his
studies.
Some lawyers have had curious ex-
periences Of ironical wills. There is
the not unfamiliar case at the French
merchant who left handsome legacy
to a lady who had refused to marry him
twenty years before, in gratitude for
her kindness IN not taking him at his
word.
There is good deal of pointed satire
in such ironical facetip as the follow
ing: We are reminded that the mania
for adulteration Is so great that YOU
can't buy quart of sand and be sure
that it is not half sugar"
4 resident in a suburban house was
asked how his house had Jared during
a snowstorm. "Ob, badly" was the
reply. my cistern is the only dry place
In II
"Wotll l do with this burglar alarm
Bill, take il along?" asked burglar
number one. Second burglar Yes
slip II in the bag; We can get some
thing for if.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1890-06-07

rest, or seek protection from the storms
or insects. night pasture is good
thing. and the air is sweet then, and the
COWS will crop a little grass early and
late.
| do not advocate the plan of shutting
COWS up in the stables or barn yards
over night. 1t is we'll to have stables
for them to go into at pleasure, but they
should not be shut up there except dur
Ing storms or special occasions. AS to
the barn-yard, it may be safely said that
not one in ten is tit for the cows to lie
down in over night. If it rains over
night the animals get muddy and filthy,
which will besmear then. for weeks. un-
less cleaned carefully. They will wal
low in the dirt, no matter how much
pains are taken to keep them from it.
The air of the barn-yard is not very
sweet for the COWS to breathe. and indi-
rectly 1t affects their health and milk
and butter. If sheds are provided in
the barnyard for their protection, they
soon become as filthy, and water fire.
quently settles under them after storms.
The barnyard is a useless thing in the
summer time. 1t is much better TO have
water-tight stable adjoiningthe field.
into which the cows can go at will 1t
is comparatively easy matter to keep the
stables clean, sweet and we'll venti-
lated. Milking COWS thrive wonder
fully under such treatment. and no
faint Will be communicated to IL cir milk
from their surroundings.-S. W. Cham
bers, IN the Practical Farmer.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1890-06-07
Too "Fiy' for Mr.. Jones.

Mr.. Jones was leaning over his gar
den gate one hot morning, and wishing
he had tail to help him brush the
flies away from his ears, when he was
accosted by a dilapidated looking man
with:
Good mornin', mister. Warm
"Ies, they're a perfect plague" re
piled Mr.. Jones. who was not a proud
man, and ready to converse with any
one.
We'll, mister" said the man, I've
got some stuff 'ere-it's honly sixrence
a large box-that nd make the most
lovin 'usband and father of a fly leave
his wife, ONE. and family for to ave
taste Of II. You jist put a little in a
saucer, and heverythink that's got wings
will he at it,"
Il haven't much faith in fly destroy
ers," remarked Mr. Jones, but I'll try
a box, for my house is full of the pests.
You're sure the stuff does attract
tiies?"
"Hattract them, mister. Why. they
can't keep away from it. Heven the
alt, the blind, and the manned soon dis
kiver where it is. and, crutches or no
crutches, spectacles or no spectacles,
get to it. Thank yer, mister. Good
day mister.
And the man walked away whistling
Yankee Doodle
4 few days afterwards, as Mr.. Jones
was taking stroll, he met the vender
o. the wonderful stuff for flies.
You rascal.' exclaimed Mr.. J. that
stuff YOU sold me the other day is
swindle. It's true the flies eat it raven
olslv, hut it hasn't killed one of them !,
III fact, it seems to do them good. I've
a good mind to give You into
Wait a minute, mister. Did | say as
'ow the flies nd die from eatin' it,"
asked the man cooily.
We'll er-I -er-can't say that you
did exactly" hesitated Mr.. Jones.
In course | didn't! I've got ten
der cart. | ave. | belong ter the Sas-
sietv for the Prevention of Cruelty to
Hinsects. That stuff wot sold yer is
ter make the pore flies fat and jolly it
amt for to kill EN-. lou must he ard
'eartedl Good day, mister, if Yer
won't ave another box"
And the man walked away whistling
Pop Goes the Weasel leaving Mr..
Jones absolutely speechless.
He was too fly" for Mr.. J.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1890-06-07
HE DAIRY.
What About the Cow.

The stable has many advantages for
the COW. but there are three essential
conditions that 1t must be provided with
TO make it of use. 1t mus. be kept
clean, sweet, and thoroughly ventilated.
Without them. the stable is about the
worst place IL which cow can be kept
over night. during hot weather. y close,
foul stable taiuts the milk, aud en-
feebles the COW. The advantages de-
rived from good stable are many. 1t
protects the cows from storms and in
sects. aud keeps them quiet.
With the opening OF spring, the needs
OF the COWS require special study If
good mixers and good butter makers
are desired. Their diet is changed, and
their whole mode of living, which Will
naturally react upon their system. 1t Is
wall 10 have a stable for them, If II Is
kept clean. sweet, and we'll ventilated;
tut If Is much better TO have the stable
opening upon the pasture lot. II they
are to be shut up III the stable over
night they must he MIXED very early
or they will be deprived OF the early
morning ite when the grass IS cool and
sweet. Ii the Stable opens on the field
the COWS can avail themselves OF 1t or
net dur the night. Cows. as rule.
do rot suffer much from exposure dnr-
INC warm weather, and they would only
90 II 70 the stables when they wanted to
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1890-06-07
Hints for The Cnisine.

OYSTER FRITTEES. Drain the liquor
from the oysters, boil and skim; then to
each cupful add Il cupful of milk, two
eggs, salt and white pepper, and Hour
enough to make thick batter; cut the
oyster into small pieces and mix them
with the batter; drop from a spoon into
hot lard; serve very hot.
QUICK PUDDING.-Tw tab1espoonfuls
of cornstarch, the yolks Of four eggs,
we'll beaten, one half cupful of sugar;
boil one quart of milk and add to the
mixture, stirring quickly: add pinch
of salt and any tiavorlng desired; turn
into pudding dish. whip the whites of
the eggs TO a stiff froth; place on top,
brown deIicately III the oven, serve with
cream and sugar, or fancy sauce
favored.
DEyILEp MUITOS.-Take lean slices
OF cold mutton; place them III irving
pan, With two tablespoonfuls OF butter
and one tablespoonful of curr2nt Jelly,
and half a cuptul of hot water; cook
slowly about ten minutes, or until the
slices are all soft; then remove them to
a hot dish; to the gravy in the pan add
two tablespoonfuls of vinegar, q tea
spoonful of made mustard, a little salt
and pepper, teaspoonful of Worcester
shire sauce; stir all we'll together, and
pour over the meat and serve.
BEAN SoUP.-Soak one pint of white
beans over night: in the morning add
three quarts of cold water, half a pound
of salt pork cut into small pieces. one
onion chopped, and half a cupful of
chopped celery; cook all slowly three
hours; stir frequently prevent burn
ing. After boiling the required time,
pour it through colander, smashing
the beans from the skins: return the
soup 10 the fire, add tablespoonful Of
butter and a tablespoonful Of -four mix ed
sm Doth in milk, little salt and pepper:
simmer for ten minutes longer, slice
half 4 lemon very thin. and place III the
tureen: pour the soup on to the slices,
and serve with crisp crackers or strips of
toast.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1890-06-07
THE DYING HORSE.
~ MRS x.po1roy r Mon.seE

Fall hack. Fall back Give him room to die
Hard is the bed where he needs must lie,
For his toilsome lie this Is the tni,
Has he no master no loving friend?
Is it here the old horse must welcome death,
Where a gaping crowd watches every breath,
Under the midsummer 6corching sun?
II this his reward for work well done?
How his limbs snudderl How his eyes roll!
Seek they a. last for II pit wing soul?
Or only for quiet-quiet 70 die
In some lonely valley green, where 4 brock
gurgles by?
No; he knows nothing of cloyer-felds cool,
Where cattle At monday stand deep in the
pool;
He never wandered the pastures sweet
His roadway through life was the stony street.
Cherished while work brought his owner gain,
To strangers left in this hour Of pain;
Deserted now that his task is over.
Not for his old DAYS are the fields OF clover.
Not for bin will the fieli-lark sing,
Not for him the lush grasses spring;
Nor to hIp Will liberty come,
In his tired old age, III some country home.
Here he must suffer-hero he must die,
Under the midsulnmer's scorching sky:
Him the broad sEade-tree will never WOO,
He has known but the pavement his whole
life through.
Still we in our Wanted pride Of soul
Conceive no future no re.tful goal
No ethereal pasture in regions blest
Where the poor old horse may in spirit rest.
NEW YoRK CITY.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1890-06-07
Farm Notes.

THERE has been very great demand
for sugar beet seed at the Agricultural
Department.
\ COATING OF varnish thoroughly APP
piled will preserve eggs III any ordinary
temperature.
THE agricultural optimsts of Kansas
are figuring ona wheat crop of 4o,ooo, 600
bushels IN that State this year.
FLOWING by steam in the Walla Walla
Valley, Washington, costs only 40 cents
per acre. BY horse power it has hereto
fore cost - per acre.
THROUGHOUT France gardening is
practically taught IN the primary and
elementary schools. There are about
$500 Of these schools, each of which
has garden attached to it, and is under
the care Of a master capable of impart
ing knowledge of the first principles
of orticulture.
HENRY WALLACE, Of the Iowd Home
stead. breaches the gospel of clover III
season and out OF season. He says: Il
regard clover as absolutely essential to
success in the growing of improved
stock. | do not know of large breed of
horses, cattle, sheep or hogs that has
ever originated outside of clover
country, nor do l believe they can lie
kept up to their proper standard or i'm
proved OH soil that will not grow
clover, and for the reason that clover
supplies the aIbuminoids or flesh
formers cheaper and better than any
other crop. The stockman can do with
out corn, tim othy, or even blue grass,
but he can not DO without clover and
compete with those who have 1t.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1890-06-07
At the BaptiSm.

From the Philadelphia Inquirer.
What name do YOU give this child y
said a Western preacher to a couple
who Lad brought their baby some dis
tance to be baptized
''i,uthy, thir," lisped the bashful
mother, and the pastor, who was little
deaf, exclaimed in horror:
"LJcifcr Nonsense, woman and,
dipping his hand in the font, he con-
linued with virtuous junction.: John
Wesley, baptizc thee And whether
she would or no, the poor little girl l"-
eciyci the name of that great preacher.
\ young couple, who appeared one
sunday nj the altar to baptize their first
child, were the victims Of an amusing
though less serious blunlcr. The wife
was quite sclfposScSsed, but the Young
husband seemed painfully abaShed.
Name the child said the clergy
man, and the poor young man looked
about III hopeless embarrassment rs if
IN search of the forgotten words. At
this critical moment his wife nudgrd
him; then he awoke To the requirements
Of the occasion, and said in loud, clear
voice, II WILL
The ceremony at his last visit to the
altar was evidently So fresh in his mind
as to have quite oVcrehadowed the sig
nlticancc Of the present occasion.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1890-06-07

No disorders, excepting the mos deadly forms
Of lung disease. involve such tremendous 2'-
strUction Of organic tissue o. thoS" which
f">'cn upon he kidneys. Such mGlaiies, when
they become chroHic-and none are liable TO
assume that Pha>e-complctrly wreck The Sys-
tenn To prevent this terrible disease recourse
should be had. upon The fist manifestation OF
trouble, TO Hostettcrs Stomach BiucTs. which
experience has proved to he highly elective a.
a ne rs of Importing tone aud regularity 10 Tie
organs OF urinatiOu. aS we'll rs 10 the liver,
St"nlH, h and bowels. Another beneficial result
Il thIS medicine. naturally consequent upon is
GluF tic action, j. the elimination from tie
blood OF impurities which hegcr rheumatism,
neuralgia, govt dropsy. and other maladicS
BY increasing the activity of The kidneys, il
aU@mcnts the dcpurativc efficiency of these or
gan>, which are most important outlets for the
escape of such impurities
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1890-06-07
THE STOClAM AN.
Mutton and Wool.

At recent Farmers Institute in Wis
consin Geo. Mckerrow said, that any
farmer who had been Il sheep raiser and
wool grower any length of time has
made money; he is q success financially.
Mutton is the first conslde ration. wool
the second; the market is asking for a
better class of mutton; | can raise NUT
ton at cents per pound; that price pays
expenses, and more than that IS profit.
No animal is more profitable Tor the
farm than the sheep; the Merino is a
good breed: the Down breed is good,
good mutton is made by good food,
ensilage is one of the best foods, bet
tor than dry feed; a mixed ration is the
best forsheep as for all stock. At Cor
neil University an experiment was made
which shows that clover hay, oats bran.
and cotton seed meal is the best feed
both for mutton and wool; the best of
the Western sheep is not gilt
edged; sheep raised in Southern Wis
consin sell for a higher price i'll Chi
cago: the highest profit goes to the
credit Of the Southdown. Glover hay
is good feed: so also is bran and oats,
these are also good feed for lambs;
enslage is also good; as apasturc clover
is preferable; sheep do not need warm
stable. but dry one and protected
from storms; the poorest land makes a
good sheep pasture and they should
have clean fresh water.-F'drm, Ftctd
and SfoCbmdH.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1890-06-07
THE KITCHEN.
Course Dinners.

1t IS said that Marion Harland Mrs.
L. 2. Terhunel gave great offense to
some of the members Of her husband 5
congre CATION when he filled country
pulpit by having what they called
course dinners" They thought that it
was following too much In the manner
of the wicked world for n clergyman S
family to have their plates changed dur
ing meal. They believed III the good
old fashioned way of having everything
on the table at once. but if You We're
very fastidious You might have the diff
ferent viands spread about your plate in
little dishes. This barbarous custom
was considered more in keeping with
Mr.. Terhunes cloth-his broadc 10th,
not his tablecloth
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1890-06-07
The lady Next Door.

Mrs. ". cnvied the lady next door he
cause She always seemed 50 well and hap
py. she enjoys life and don t., said the
discontinued woman. How / would like
to change places with her At last she
made the acquaintance of the object Of her
envy, ana tInS j.; what the lady told her:
Happy? OF course ! am, Tor | enjoy
perfect health. My dear Mrs. w. your
face tells me why HoR are not happy. You
are suffering from functional derangc-
mcntS. ! was martyr To female weak
ncSS"S for years. but Or. Pierce $ FaNoritc
Prescription cured me, as it will you If
You Will try it. It is gUaTuRieCd to give
satisfaction IN every case or price (@L0Gl
returned.
DE. fIEECE's PELLETS, ore a dose.
tInD
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1890-06-07
Fork Making Profitable.

Thos. Convey. Eldgeway, Wis, says
that pork making can be made profitable
on any farm if rightly pursued. You
want good breed. Corn is not neces-
sary; feed mixed food and you will get
pork that is not costly. Make pork of
spring pigs; feed milk, whey. roots, slop
OF all kinds; the fall market Is the poor
est. Carrying hogs too long is one of
the errors OF pork raising. Berkshire is
one of the best breeds, Poland China is
another Local markets are the best.
PolandChina is a down cared hog. |
don't like a long-legged hog. Don't
overfeed the SOW; give small pigs
milk, peas and oats. and feed by them
selves; | object TO sour feed: feed
sweet feed and don't let the swill bar
rel sour: don't gorge the Young pigs:
don t wean them. the SOW Will attend to
that; twice to three times day IS
enough to feed. You cant make profit
able pork of 1S-month hogs: feed costs
too much; the point is to make your
pork at the least expense. Glover is the
best pasturage for hogs; in Northern
sections depend upon rye, barley,
ground peas and oats. and not corn;
moist feed is the better; 2-year- old
sows are the best beederS; shorts Is one
of the best pig feeds, wet: clover hay is
the best feed for hogs: buckw heat bran
not worth much: peas leave the land IN
better shape than when they were
put upon if: peas and oats are q good
crop to raise in Northern ATTITUDES.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1890-06-07
THE FARM,
Scum | Doctrire.


The Breeders Gd-ette thus states its
position on the general question of sub
stitutes for foods: 1t believes that
every tub should stand on its own bot
tom; that every wholesome article of
food offered on the open market should
be sold to the consumer with knowl-
edge on his part of all its constituent
elements. Then if he prefers to pur-
chase butterine, permit him the privi-
lege; II he wants to shorten his pie
crust with cotton seed oil, let him buy
it; himself and his own stomach for it as
regards these substitutes. They are
wholesome, and their consumption is
merely a matter of taste, concerning
which, the Latin has it, there should be
no dispute. But this filled cheese
abomination stands on different foot
ing. 1t is not properly a food substi-
tute unless II be a substitute for hog
food. It's unmstakable vIleness re-
moves it from the pale of consideration
onthis ground and imperatively demands
the absolute prohibition of its manu-
facture.'
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1890-06-07
4 Boon to Wires.

Having used Mothers Friend" l would
no: be without it. l. II Il boon to wives
who know they must pass through the
pain nj Crdeal OF childbirth. Mas. G.. Mel
bourne. Iowa. Write The Braifcli Eegu-
lator Co. Atlanta. Ga., for further parti-u-
lars Sold by al! druggists.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1890-06-07
The Wondrous Power of Song.

Congressman John Allen. of NIsSis-
slPpi, in addition to being one of the
wits of the House, is also something of Il
"rIunger" in society. He was present
at 4 musical givcn the >horcham by
Mrs. Jeanette 'Ghurher Il few evenings
ago, and talked music with tiucuyy
that astOnishcd some of those who
heard him. During the evening Mrs.
Thurher engaged the Mississippi con
gresham III conversation for 4 few
minutes, and incidentally inquired # he
was familiar with the study Of music
"Oh, yes, " replied Mr.. Allen, prompt
". Il am something of a musician my
self In fact ! am 50 fond of music that
| introduce II into my everyday life with
very beneficial effect control my wife
and family, and govern my entire house
hold, by the power of my music
Il don't quite comprehend YOU, an
sWcrcd Mrs. Thurhcr. smiling.
Well, said Mr.. Allen, with a merry
twinkle in his eye, lit is Just like this:
When | request my wife or any mem
Der of my family to do ANYTHING, AMI
they refuse, threaten To- sing They Inn
mcdiatciy relcnt and do my bidding,
rather than hear me"
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1890-06-07

ALTON among ladies' is most dread
ful thing, for there is not more fear
full wildfowl than your lion living
Shakespeare.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1890-06-07

SIX NOVELS FREE will be sent by Cra-
gin x Co.. rhiada,, Pa. to any one III the
L. 5. or Canada. postage paid. upon re-
ccipt of - DobbinS' Electric Soap wrap
pers See list Of novels on circulars
around each bar. Soap for sale by all
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1890-06-07

WHITE canvas shoes will be worn in
the tennis court and the seaside l,arIor,
and white pipe stem will he used to
keen them clean.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1890-06-07

rest you know. As to the arrowhead, I
placed it in there in looking for the let
tiers, in order to throw the blame on Balls
combe, becauseI knew all his moveme nts
on that night we're in favor of the pre-
sumption of his having committed the
crime"
He paused at this point. for his eyes
were becoming glazed and his voice was
faint and weak. Norwood had written
out the words that had fallen from his
lips, and now brought the paper and a
pen in order for him to sign it. The
dying man raised himself on his elbow
with an effort and signed his name with
difficulty in the place indicated by the
and Norwood affixed their signatures as
witnesses; then the latter placed the con-
fession in an envelope.
The action of the poison being very
rapid, Ellersby was now in a half-com-
atose condition, his eyes being closed
and his breathing stertorous. He began
10 speak again in a drowsy voice, which
sounded as if he was far away.
Its the irony of Fate brought
me here - to my death. 1 came
to conquer and remain to die
The old Greeks were right.
Man sport of Fate
Nemesis wins hands down
if there is world
beyond 1
His SOW, monotonous voice stopped
here and his head fell back; to ali APP
pearances he was asleep, but the onlook-
ers knew it was his last earthly sleep,
and when he awoke it would be in an
other world
The calm, placid light of evening stole
softly through the windows and shone on
the still face of the dead man, and on the
awe struck spectators.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1890-06-07

J. c. SIMPSON. Marques, w Va rays:
Halls Cat arrh Cure curel! me OF very bad case
OF catarrh' Druggists sell il. 1pc.