Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1890-01-17
THINGS A WOMAN CAN DO BRsr
BY KATE THORN.

Oh, yes undoubtedly there are. things
that woman can do better than a man.
They may be small matters. but they
exist, and a woman can readily beat a nun
doing them, and she should have the credit
of 1t.
In the first place. she can wear petticoat.
and not take it up on her heels when she
walks, and we doubt if the wiSest man liy-
ing can accomplish that little feat even
after a good many times irving
She can look sweet as sugar when she
feels cross enough to behead somebody.
She can be such excellent friends with a
rival, and help do up her back hair, when
she hates her so that she would be glad if
she caught the smallpox and got her face
carved into the Semblapce Of 1 Chinese
cabinet.
She can Scold better than any man liv-
ing. She can think of more aggravatine
things to say in one hour. than a man. no
matter how many colleges he has graluat-
ed from and how many dictionaries he has
digested, can think of in SIX months.
She can cry, when she cannot gain her
point any other way, and 1t is pretty tough
work tor the average man to cry, and not
make mess of 1t.
She can spank a baby better than man
She feels that it is her right to do it, and
a man always goes about 1t as if he was
ashamed of it, and as if he didn't exactly
know where TO begin, or where TO leave
off.
She can drive hens out of the graden in
half the time it will take a man to do it.
1t is no use to swear at hens. They do not
| understand profanity but the swish of a
skirt, and the flourish Of as sunsbonnat,
are arguments they cannot withstand
A woman can find something to talk
about when a man would be dead broke
| for topic.
She can manage to keep you waiting
| while she gets ready TO go somewhere
longer than five men could, unless they
were youths in the clutches of first
| love, and had to struggle with refractory
neck-ties.
! 4 woman can get more bundles together
in half days Shopping than man can
carry, and she can buy goods ten per cent,
cheaper than he can, because, in the first
! place, she always asks everybody what
they paid for everything, and is thorough
| ly posted on prices, and, II the second
place, she has the infinite patience to stand
| and talk to the clerks. and wheedle, and
coax. and bargain, until in the sheer des,
| peration of utter soul-wearineSS. they take
off two cents yard, and think themselves
| lucky to escape so well.
| A welnan taa be patient when the fire
dosen't burn. She can look serene when
the coffee wont settle. She can refrain
from mentioning the Evil One when the
tread is heavy. She can CONTROL her
self, and not go into spaSms, if her collar
is not lrOnRd TO sglt hsr.
She doesn't go to Europe. or take to
drink. when Tom goes back on her.
She accepts Dick, and shows Tom that
she didn't Care a ng Tor him.
Women are the best part of creation.
We all know that. The other sex may
ridicule them all they please, but they
wouldn't have woman abolished for the
world! There would be nobody to sew but
| tens Nobody to find fault with, NohQay
to raise mustaches Tor. Nobody to feel an
interest in your cold, and to put catnip
poultices on you when you have the tooth
ache. Nobody to buy ice-creams for. No
body to love. Nobody to kiss, for it is a
spectacle to make angles weep to see one
nap lSlss ap9thaF.
And so, in spite OF the fact that women
are the weaker se4, let us have women
right along. hecausf there are things that
they can do better than men.-New York
| Weekly