The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1890-01-05
DO You MsH 10 LAUGH 2
Fancies Of Men Who Make a Living by
Being Funny.


business IS Business.-Life Insurance
Agent (out Vest -Whatdid Mr.. Newcomer
saw Assistant-il e wouldn't talk 90 me az
an: said he was Zoo busy tO think about life
I insurance. "Wcn. I'll hang around his
house tonight and shoot holes through his
windows. and when bee comes down town In
the morning, YOU Dee behind "A fence in some
vacant lot and put few balls through the
top of his hat. Then, when he reaches his
office, IN drop in and talk life insurance
again. Philadelphia Evening Telegraph.
Lady-Who is that fellow who comes 10
see YOU every evening
Bridget-lle is gintleman who is en-
Gagged 90 me. but I'm thinkin' Of telling him
not 10 come here any more, mum. He talks
too much.
About whom 2
About yourself. mum; he says you are the
most beautiful lady in the city.
/ lie doesn't seem rO bee such bad man ar
ter an. guess YOU can let him call once
/ in while Texas ,iitings.
Charlie. YOU know YOU promised me
something handsome on my birthday
/ lie-Nes. / know.
she-Well, / saw a diamond breastpin
Yesterday In "A shop window that was per
/ sectly heavenly.
Perfectly heavenly. was it; say.
/ Fanny. don't You have any earthly wishes
DO you think Of nothing but heavenly
things siiiings.
Willie 60 fair little neutrality-suspicious.
/ that's real cruel OfyOu. Oracle. on won't lei
me 20 10 dancing school with you because
I'm too Young. / tell YOU I'm a good deal
older than / look.
Willie next day 10 flinty-hearted cOnduc-
tor)--Mr. Peck. none Of the other conduc-
tors on this road charge me anything. / amt
/ half as Old as | look.--Chic Tribune.
Manager shall expect you TO play
/ DesdemOna next week.
Actress-Whatl Desdemona next week,
with this grippes Nevah'
And Why not. pray:
Imagine Othell0 raying over my liieless
/ body. and in the most imprisoned moment
/ % have DesdemOna give "a loud double
snceze. Neyah.-lexas Siftings.
New Reporter say, Mr.. Editor, I'd
/ like 10 know
Editor-What would YOU like to know;
4 prominent citizen has broken his neck
on tObOggan slide.
Well. what OF III
I'm puzzled 20 know whether the item
comes under the head Of Sporting New. OF
Society G0ssip.-IeXas siftings.
Anxious wiie-Doctor, how is my hus-
bands
Doctor-He will come around all right
What De needs now is quiet. have here a
couple Of Opiates.
When shall / give them TO him.
Give them 10 hims They are for you,
madame. Your husband needs rest.-Texas
sinings.
Mistress Jolliboy Con post. January 1. 3 4,
NJ. 10 Jolliboy. who has just essayed an
! explanatory Yes. Understand all about
seeing the old year out. but that goes out at
! II. JOllibOy lrailroad man)-les, my dear
per7ly k'rect. does gen'lly-s0me difficulty
this year: didn't 20 out'n till nearly D.
Philadelphia Evening Telegraph.
Mrs. Crossgrain during a squabble)-l
natter myself that what | say Is generally
pretty true.
Mr. ssgrain-les, Maria. you have
said a few good things. When we were en-.
gagged. for instance. YOU said that you
couldn't imagine what | saw in YOU 10 love
Iii. there. help. Don't tear my hair all
Out,-Lawrence American.
BY the way. Bridget" said Mrs. Bland
the other morning. how old are you -
.. Shure. num-" said Bridget, rs she poured
three gallons OF kcruStne on piece OF WOOD
two inches square In the stove. " wuz just
swim months older than me brother Tim. and
il he lives till next October I'll be twinty-
four. Life.
JOnes--For heavens sake. Robinson,
look herel That boy has broken through
the lee.
RObinsOn---SO he has, What in the
world are You going to do for him. Jones
60 shiyering and exhausted boy)--keep
cool, bub, keep cOol.---Burlington Free
Press.
A little tot admiring her elder sister,
picture recently. who was asked what she
thought the prettiest feature OF it, promptly
replied "The fwame."