Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-10-09


draw. He should follow Bible advice and take
little something for his stomach's sake.
It's STRANGE how events never let the world
lag
And keep oily tongues on an eternal wag;
Just as soon as one thing takes the place of an
other
Then it seems to annoy us far worse than the
other.
When Congress was clashing and in an uproar-
Reed smashing old rules and cranks breaking
the door
People patiently listened. and longed for the
day
When the tap of the gayel would send them
away.
When the fellows who live by pounding the
Kept up great racket till late in the fall,
The public, though tired. simply wore broad
smile,
Assured that the thing couldn't last all the
while.
Now these rude disturbers of life's sweet re-
pose
Have ceased, but are followed by far greater
woes,
Since the fellows who hunger for honor and
pap
Are abroad in the land. Politics are on tap.
THE red-headed and hopeful Cooper has
been called upon to manage the fag end of
Delamater's campaign. Coopers and barrels
go together. Now they will whoop it up.
THE tramp works harder doing nothing than
the fellow who performs an honest days work.
fo
initiate.
THE Force bill is not dead, but sleeping. 1t
will force Congress to reassemble as soon as
the Congressmenwho have little disagreements
on hand are returned or retired.
If we were compelled to count the clock ticks,
slower time would be made in the race for
riches.
SOME girls who horseback riding go are
er's fault, however.
THE chimney sweep is easily sooted.
If President Harrison didn't shift about oc-
casionally the people wouldn't know what he is
there for.
STORMS usually die on the day they are born.
A WRITER in a wet goods journal says liquor
strengthens the voice. SO does an onion.
WHEN you criticfse the mistakes and misses
in newspaper remember that it was made in q
day.
ABOUT the only thing that can be left lying
around loose nowadays is a toothbrush.
A DELAWARE State Senator has achieved
notoriety by kicking a woman. Kilgore's style
Of craftsmanship Is catching on.
THE watch on the Rhine does not furnish
Germany with standard time.
WHEN the mismated COO until Cupid lets fly
The arrow that follows loves course,
Then the pair should endeavor to put sum by
To purchase legal divorce.
THE people will soon grow accustomed to the
new customs bill.
The chief officer of the Chicago Health
Board has ordered that young ladies hereafter
must be vaccinated on the arms. There's
plenty of room on a Chicago girls foot. and we
don't blame them for kicking against the edict
IT is to be hoped the baseball managers will
shuttle off before making any deal.
SWEET were those days of childish plays
When we roamed and romped together,
And twas not amiss to steal kiss
AS we scurried DER the heather.
But these are past-they could not last
You're now q Miss in dresses:
The hand whose stroke boy-love awoke
Some other chap caresses.
THE Government will locate the fifth dam in |
the Ohio at Beaver. It's hard to tell where or |
how the river men will place their damns.
A RIVER is never hungry. because its mouth |
is always full.
THE error in the tariff bill which lets choco- |
late in for two instead of five cents, was dis |
covered too late to rectify. Chocolate chewers |
will not object.
THE girl who powders her face foolishly i'm |
agines she can throw dust into the eyes of her |
beau.
PRESIDENT HARRISON can make more noise |
on a locomotive than anywhere else, it seems.
POLITICAL organs are played by manipulate |
ing the keys of the treasury.
willie WTNKTE