Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1890-12-17
THE ADJUSTABLE MAN.

His Clothes Never Fitted Him, but They
Fitted his Pal at Misfit Prices.
Eyes," said fashionable tailor in
Broadway, 'There are very many ways
in which men in by business are cheat
ed out of their money. One of the
cleverest tricks | ever heard Of in this
line was SO wonderful and so apart from
the usual way in which sharpers get
ahead of us that it is well worth while
to describe it.
"Some years ago goodlooking and
! we'll dressed man, who gave his name
as Thomas Jenkins, and had references
with him which we didn't think it
| worth while to investigate, since the
goods were to be cash on delivery,
came to my store, which was then in
Sixth Avenue, and got measured for
full suit of clothes that was to cost him
$40. He was just six feet tall and not at
all peculiarly shaped in any way. He
was very precise in giving directions as
to how the suit was to be built up and it
was to be ready for him on the follow
ing Saturday evening at o'clock. Mr..
Jenkins appeared at the appointed
time and went into one of the little
dressing rooms to try the suit on.
When he came out into the store again,
he was in terrible rage, for the
clothes didn't fit him, and looked as
though they had been made for man
three inches shorter than he, and with
q chest and stomach about half as big
again as Mr.. Jenkins. The man who
had taken his measure was called up
from down stairs, and you never saw SO
surprised look on anybodY's face as
woo hIC v1vhn No TO
examine his work. The book was con-
suited, and there, sure enough. under
Mr.. Jenkins name was the record of
his proportions as the man had taken it
down, but, bless your soul, the proper
tons were not at all those of Mr.. Jen-
kins as he stood before us in the flesh.
1t was the most singular case Of mistit [
ever saw, and. of course, [ could not
blame my customer either for being
angry or refusing TO take the clothes.
The upshot was that Jenkins went otfin
powerful huff and the man who had
taken his measure was discharged. The
suit was set aside, of course
ga few days after this another man
came to the store and wanted to have
suit made for him of just such materials
as jenkins had orderded, and when [
saw him and sized him up / knew that
the jenkins suit would fit him to T,
and so | suggested that he should try it
on. He did so, and it fitted him 'shoost
like de paper on de wall He got the
clothes for $40, and | was glad to get rid
of them.
''Three or four weeks after this [ was
talking with another tailor who did
business over in Eighth Avenue, and he
told me Of a singular case of misfitting
that he had recently had at his store,
l. l. l. L
and was an expert at the art man
had called at his store and ordered a
suit He was short and fat, but when be
came for the clothes and tried them on
they seemed to have been made for
some other chap, who was rather tall
and had no paunch at all to speak of.
Of course he refused to take the goods,
but luckily, on the next day man had
called whom he sized up, just as I had
sized up my customer, and found that
he probably would 60 into the misfit
suit as slick as q sausage. This turned
out to be the fact, and the man got the
clothes for less than half the original
price. 1t isn't often that two such coin
cidences occur within a few days of
each other, and we laughed over the
matter as sartOrial curiosity.
"Within the next two Or three
months ] heard Of several similar cases
of awful mistit, and they set me to
thinking. A man with hump half as
big as a bushel basket had given an
order to Third Avenue friend of mine,
and when he came to try it on his hump
had all gone down, and he insisted that
he never had any hump at all, and so
refused to take the clothes. We all
seemed to be in luck, both good and |
bad, about that time, for within week
hun 0hh on into frIn Itc,
store. and finding that the misfit suited !
him exactly in every particular he paid
for it at greatly reduced rates and dis
appeared.
ITO make long story short, [ will |
tell you just how the trouble came about.
At one of the shows in the Bowery
there was a contortionist who had the
singular faculty of being able to tie
himself up in knots, bring his eyebrows
down under his chin, and then watt
them back to the top of his head, swell
out his lungs and chest in a fearful
u msnn into pull bis one abdomen on MS as iegt t
seemed, till he looked like a medi-
tatiye goose standing on the other leg,
make one arm shorter than the other,
and, in short, do just about as he pleased |
with his body. Well, this chap had just
hired himself out to twenty or thirty
more or less deformed men among his
vast acquaintance, taken their measure,
and then, built up on the exact lines of
their abominable makeup, he had gone
around to various tailors and got meas
ured for them. OF course, the clothes
didn't fit him and did fit them. The |
whole affair was so supremacy ridiculous
that nothing was ever done about it.
This is the cutest piece of swindling
tailors [ ever heard of, or anybody else,
for that matter"