Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1890-05-17
THR ARIZONA KICKER.

We extract the following from tia
last issue of the Arizona Kicker:
DmN'T Know IT WAS LoADED.-Smitf
& Davis minstrels were billed for N
entertainment at Montezuma Hall last
Friday night, but it didn't come of. In
stead of that the whole gang stepped
OF. They came here with the avoweo
intention of doing business without the
aid of the Kicker. None of them called
at the Office, and they had no courtesies
to extend. We advised the people to
stay away. On Friday morning, seven
members of the gang entered our Office
to demand satisfaction. They didn't
know it was loaded. 1t was, however,
and when it went off some of the bird
shot got in on each and every one OF the
gang, and we had to tap one Of the end.
men with an ax-helve in addition. We
haven't any one in this town who makes
a specially of digging lead cut of the
human system, and at noon they started
for Tombstone to give a man there a
weeks job. Hic Jacket which is Mexi-
can for saying: "The Kicker is always
loaded"
WE Told You So.-Six week ago a
man named Scott opened o grocery
store on COmanche street, and when we
casually dropped in and mentioned the
fact that the Kicker was the best ad-
vertising medium in the West, he didn't
enthuse. We knew there was some
thing wrong about him, and we sent his
description to the sixty-four sheriffs
and chiefs of police who are constantly
In communication with us.
Last Thursday, just after we had
gone to press, a detective arrived
from Louisville and collared Mr.. Scott,
who is defaulting county treasurer.
He has left us, and we bought the
stock of groceries at about twenty-five
cents on the dollar. Had Mr.. Scott adj
vertised he would doubtless have built
up a large and profitable business, but
he took a wrong view of it and will
probably go to State prison for fifteen or
twenty years.
Poor OLD PALsY!-We never refer
to our contemporary down the street if
we can avoid it. In the first place, he
hasn't got enough brains or Office to
deserve the title, and in the next he Is
a poor palsied old man who is gradually
dying of envy and starvation, and we
shall have to foot his burial expenses
when does go. The other week we
mentioned our private graveyard and
its five occupants. This so excited the
jealousy of the old relic of the seven
teenth century that he borrowed re-
Volver and took trip around town yes
terday in search of blood. He finally
found one of Col. McCracken's Digger
Indians asleep in the sun, and opened
ire on him from distance of four feet.
He didn't even wake the redskin up,
md Judge Tallman, who objected to so
much noise around his house, went out
md drove poor old palsy away with a
broom.
We are sorry for him. They say he
,ried while going back to his one-horse
4lleged newspaper, and no wonder. He
hould never have come West. He came,
s we ascertained, to evade arrest for
,igamy, but he should have taken some |
ther route. When nature fits a man |
o raise holyhocks in New Jersey, he |
lss no business coming West to try to /
aise that other product.
Nor HIS FAUET.-A numbers Of our
ownspeople have expressed the hope
hat We would pitch into DR.. Staghorn,
he popular druggist, for killing old
IAN Slew by putting up arsenic for
uinins in prescription. We shall do
othingof the sort. The doctor has
OF only increased his advertising one
alf this week. but has subscribed for b
We copies of the Kicker to send away.
While this of course does not influence
s in the least, we know from personal
bservation that the doctor is a very
usy man., and that the room IN
is store is limited. He has no choice
ut to keep many different sorts of pow
er In the same drawer and it is only to 4
e expected that mistake should hap
en- now and:then- !,
Furthermore, who WAS old Slew, any h
ow? A lazy, dissipated vagabend, I.
HON the boys would have hung in the (
purse of few weeks at best. In foot
g his funeral expenses the doctor has !
lown himself in various ways to be- 4
ing to that class wanted in this town
build it up. /,
No EXTRA GHaRGR-In this issue we J
nblish the full particulars of two exc
ltions, one jail delivery, three shooting
trays, one highway robbery, two fist Y
yhts, three dog fights, one found dead.
drowning accident. the arrest of
'ad agent, the deaths of two Mexicans
the late blizzard and the stealing of /
1dge Sprouts four-nule team.
The thing down the street which calls
self newspaper. and talks about its
ghtning press and It's wild-eyed corps
editors from New York, has, TO match
l this, cooked-up account of fight "
etween jaekass rabbit and govern
ent camel, with its editor for the sole {
,ectator and reporter. Is it any won
Or that the. peopls of Arizona can't
ait for the Kicker TO be issued each
eek, and that 6ozsns of them roost on '
If door-steps all night Wednesday
ght to get copies the first thing
thursday morning? All this and no
,tra charge, and no hand-bills ont an
,uncing that anything unusual was
,ing onl-Detro5t Free Press.
Tragedy ForetoId i'm Dream.