The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1890-08-28
BURDETTE In CHURCH.
Some Advice Bow to Behave Yourself and
aeve Other People do Likewise.

aeve Other People do Likewise.
The editor of the Sunday School Times
received the following query, and referred
it to Robert j. Burdette for an answer:
'LoREDo, TEXAS.
"Editor tie Sunday School Times: Will
you please give us few points on Church
etiquette ?-Inquircr.
"Lquirer" knocked at the right door
for instruction. The Sunday School Times
Bureau of Information is the fountain
head for encyclopedia knowledge. The
editor answers all the hard questions
himself, and the easy ones are turned
over to the wandering deacon who hap
pens along just as the question box is
opened and the birds begin 10 sing.
How shall re behave ourselves in
churchf Oh, well, it depends somewhat
on the church ne attend. Each has its
own rules, carefully codifed, for the
guidance OF the members in their attitude
toward each other and toward strangers
who may seek to worship with them.
These rules are hung up in the pews, on
the walls of the church, on the front of
the pulpit, over the choir, everywhere,
in plain sig ght. They are not printed on
card board, but are made "plain upon
tables, that be may run that readeth it !"
and that is just what he wants to do
sometimes. The regular occupants Of
the pews, by manner, expression of coun-
tenance, by significant gesture and action,
translate these uuwritten rules so clearly
that every man may hear them speak in
his own language, ard "the wayfaring
men, though fools, need not err there
in.n
The next time your journey leaves you
stranded in the great and delightful city
of New Chicorkadelpbi on the Sabbath
day, if you should go to the church of
Saint Indolence,-I can recommend it as
having the sloweat singing and the soft.
est pew cushions, with preacher to
match, in the city,-you will see the
following Suggestions to Worsnippers" !:
"Fa!l or slide into the end of the pew
nearest the aisle.
"Stay there.
"Do not sit erect, but lop. Rest one
elbow on the arm of the pew, and sup
port the side of the face with the out.
spread hand. IF the cheek can be pushed
up in folds and wrinkles, so as to wholly
or partially close one eye, all intelligent
expression will be destroyed, and the atti.
tude of utter and disrespectful laziness
will be heightened by the charm Of &C
quired imbecility or natural stupidity.
"Do not rise during the singing Of
the hymns. The fact that you played
tennis or base ball all Saturday after
noon, or walked four OF FIVE miles around
billiard table Saturday night, entities
you to little rest Sunday. morning.
This is the day of rest, and you are no
Sabbath. breaker.
"Take advantage of the long prayer,
wheu other people should have their
eyes closed and their heads bowed, to
adjust yourself into q position of limp
and loupging listlessness that you can
endure comfortably through the sermon.
extend your legs as far under the
pew in front of you as you can make
them reach without sliding off your seat.
Gracefully and politely cover your
mouth with your hand while yawniug
during the sermon. If the minister is
looking at you, cover the mouth with
both hands, and at the close of the yawn,
bring your jaws together with cheerful
snap.
ut is q mark of the highest culture
and best breeding in refined society, to
look at your watch frequently during the
service. After looking at your watch,
always turn your head and gaze longing,
ly and earnestly toward the door.
"Do not move il a stranger, accompsn-
led by his wife, and daughter, attempts
to enter your pew. Permit them to
climb over your legs, no matter how
much it may annoy you. This is the
Lords house, and all bis children are
welcome. It is not Christian, and it
may even be questioned if it is really
polite, to put your knees up againat the
back of the pew when a family of stran'
gers attempt to enter. IT. is practiced in
some churches, but we have never openly
advocated it here.
"Do not annoy strangers who may
enter the church by looking at them, or
even glancing in their direction. Moth
ing is more embarrassing too sensitive
person than to find himself an object of
attention, under the eyes of strangers in
strange place. If he really wants q
seat, he will find one without the obstru-
sive interference of other people. Some
of the ablest scholars in our denomina-
tion believe the employment of ushers to
be relic of paganism and a legacy OF
Romanism, if, indeed, they are not the
Scarlet Woman himself.
"At close of service remark aloud,
but to yourself, that you are hungry as a
shark, and set off for home at a brisk
trot. The house of the Lord is no place
for idle chatter and worldly gossip with
strangers"
Possibly, however, your denorlinational
preference will lead you to worship in
the imposing edi6ce of the Church of
Saint Dives of Giltedge. have gone 10
thac church occasionally on hot Sundays
in July, when I was fearful of sunstroke
and couldn't afford to pu! ice on my
head. The suggestions here are far
more scriptural in form, are SO uplifting
that the ordinary man is so buoyed up
that he finds it almost impossible to sit
down.
''The earth is the Lords, for he made
it; but this pew is mine, for pay s70o
q year for it.
"How hardly shall they that trust in
poverty get sitting on the centre aisle
"The poor ye have always with you,
but you can get away from them little
while on Sunday.
"Hc that keepeth his pew, keepeth his
life.
Gas bird that wandereth from her
nest, so is stranger who VANDERBILT into
church without an invitation.
"Givc me neither poverty nor poverty.
"The rich and poor meet together, but
not on the same day.
"'But as for the mighty man, he had
the earth Job %: s..
blessed is the man that considereth
the poor nuisance.
"lf thou hast nothing to pay, why
should be not stand thee up in the vesti-
bule?
"It is cold day for The stranger.
Gle that giyeth his seat to q stranger.
of surety he shall smart for it,
"If thou hast stricken thy hand with O
stranger, thou art shared with the words
Of thy mouth"
Or it may be that you will be led into
the Church of Saint Greedy OWnself