St. Paul daily globe., 1890-12-21
The Period Between the
School Room and the
Altar.
1t Is Really the Most Critical
Period in a Girls
Life.
Lecture to Those Who Are
Ovep-Dressed and I'm
der-Trained.

Ladies' Home Journal. 1t is the time
toward which every school girl looks
with eagerneSS. and to which many
matured woman casts backward glance
of regret. 1t is the hope land of youth,
the memory land of age.
To the American girl especially is it
a harvest season of pleasure. Allowed
greater liberty than her foreign sisters.
she is not Obliged to marry to find
freedom, and longer girlhood prevails
as consequence.
When the girl enters the world after
her education is finished" she does not
always find it what she expected. The
schoolrOOm is one thing, the world
another.
She may have been popular with her
teachers because she was a diligent
scholar, and carried off the honors of the
school. But she finds that book knowl-
edge does not make her popular or sue
cessful socially.
Some of the most intellectual people L
have known have been among the most
disagreeable A woman whose intel
lect is aggressive, who parades her
knowledge before those of inferior in
tellect or education, is an object to be
dreaded.
Mere learning i'll woman is never at
tractive. 1t is, Oh the contrary, often
Sive, unless coupled with feminine
graces. School learning should sink
into the character and department., and
only exhibit itself as the perfume of a
flower is exhibited-in subtle, name
less and unobtrusive manner.
A woman's knowledge of grammar
should not make her talk like an orator
in a ci n,lfx oIye, hc,.
conversation gracious and agreeable.
Mathematics should render her mind
clear. and her Judgment true: her geo.
graphical studies should teach her that
| the world is too small for talseness to
| find hiding place; and history should
impress upon her that life is too short
| for unworthy ambitions. The time be-.
| tween the school room and the altar
| should not be mere harvest time of
| pleasure, but sowing time for all the
| seeds of kindness and self-sacrifice for
others, ,and of unselfishness and benevo-
lence, which alone can make her sue
| cessful wife and mother.
The young lady who comes out of
| school realizing what an expense her
| education has been to her parents, and
resolves to repay them in sacrificing
| some pleasures for their sake, and
strives by self-deniaI and cheerfulnesS
| to tighten their burdens, that young
| lady is seldom found later in life in the
| divorce courts, a martyr to marital in
capability.
The good and thoughtful daughter
makes the good and thoughtful wife; as
a rule she does not expect the man she
marrleS to be god and ber slave in
one; she has the patience and tact to
| cultivate in him the qualities she de-
sires, and to keep his love and respect.
/ never see petted, pampered girl
who is yielded to in every whim by
servants and parents, that do not sigh
with pity for the man who will some
day be her hosband.
1t is the worShiped daughter who
| has been taught that her whims and
wishes are supreme in household,
who makes marriage a failure all her
| life. She has had her way in things
| great and small, and when she desired
| dresses, pleasures or Journeys which
were beyond the family purse, she car
| ried the day with tears or sufkS, or pos
ing as martyr.
The parents sacrificed and suffered
for her sake, hoping finally to see her
well married. They carefully hide her
faults from her suitors who seek
her hand. and she is ever ready
| with smiles and allurements to win
the hearts of men, and the average man
is as blind to the faults of pretty girl
as newly-hatched bird is blind to the
worms upon the trees about him. He
thinks her little pettlsh ways are mere
girliSh moods; but when she becomes
his wife and reveals her selfish and
cruel nature he is grieved and hurt to
| think fate has been so unkind to him.
l once heard man complain of the
stubborn selfiShneSS of his wife in small.
daily matters, which completely ruined
his home life. l asked him if he had
not caused this trait to develop through
some carelessness On his own part.
''Oh. no." he said, II knew her from
her early girlhood. and she was always
terribly selfish with her parents; her
will ruled father and mother in all
things, and she always had her way in
everything"
'.Then you were the blindest of men
to marry her," said, ''for while have
known one or two selfish sons to be
trained into fairly good husbands by eX-
cellent wives, never knew a selfish
and thoughtless daughter to make 8
good wife"
Every girl dreams of the time when
she will become loved wife; but how
can she expect to be loved if she is not
lovable?
Every hour of the time between the
school room and altar ought to be USED
by her in cultivating spirit of useful
ness, kindness and devotion to relatives
and friends, which will enable her tc
display that constant self-sacrifice anC
thoughtfulneSS which marriage de
mandS daily of both husband and wife
Fannie Edgar Thomas. gifted writer
and bright. earnest young lady, made
a remark to me the other day which
thought was full of truth. / feel that ]
ought TO give her name and credit fol
the words, because they open up (
world of meaning to every thoughtful
young woman. /
She said: '.While I meet many charm
ing and delightful women, [ am con
Stantly surprised that women are no
grander. 1t seems to me the conscious
ness that they are to be the mothers o
coming generations would fill them witt
such awe and reverence that all frivol
ity and SelfShneSS would be frightened
out of them" Yes, indeed Ii ou
! girls would but realize that their dali,
thoughts, impulses and habits are form
ing their characters as certainly as th.
strokes of the sculptor's chlsel for /
statue. and that those very eharacterlst
les are To be repeated and ampiiied il
their children and grandchildren, hoy
noble they would become.
, The girl who saves all her money t.
buy sWetnleatS and dev0urs them in de
[ fiance of reason OF warnings is bestoW
ing poor teeth and bad digestion t.
future generations, and it is the sam
with mental habits.
| sometimes wonder WHY some seem
ingly sensible young ladies have sucI
an inordinate love of over-dressing.
have heard young men often decar
that the girl who wore IA new suit ever,
day was the last girl on earth the,
T would dare to marry.
While true marriage is the aim o
every sensible weman's hopes and de
Sires, Il girl should not SEEK for or striv
TO entrap men into matrimoLy. Th
moment they see this iinpuls-, on he
, part they are disenchaittd 1t is
woman'S place to make herself q, al
traetlye ana worthy tl:.t mcil viii -,e.