The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1890-11-30
A COURTING COUPLE.
Scenes i'm a House Where the Cir
Gus is Going On.
ESCAPE THE LOVER YOU CANNOT.
They are in the Library, and in the Drawing
Room, liz the Conservatory, and In
Everybody's Way.

There are the ruins of an old priory in
the grounds of Ankerwyke house, which
is close to Picnic Point, and it was round
Rbout the grounds of this old priory that
Henry VIII is said to have waited for and
met Anne Boleyn. He also used to meet
her at Hever castle in Kent and also some
where near St. Adams. 1t must have been
difficult for the people of England in those
days to have found a spot where those
houghtless young folk were not spooning.
Have you ever been in a house where
there are a couple counting? 1t is most
trying. You think you will go and sit in
the drawing room, and you march off there.
AS you open the door you hear noise as
If somebody had suddenly recollected some
thing, and when you get in Emily is over
by the window, full of interest in the oppo-
site side of the road, and your friend, John
Edward, is at the other end of the room
with his whole soul held in thrall by pho
tographs of other peoples relatives.
''Ohr' you say, pausing at the door, ''I
didn't know anybody was here"
"Oh! didn't you?" says Emily coldly, in
a tone which implies that she does not be-
lieve you.
You hang about for bit, then you say:
cts very dark. Why don't you light
the gasg''
John Edward says ''Ohr' he hadn't no.
ticed it; and Emily says that papa does
not like the gas lighted in the afternoon
You tell them one or two items of news
and give them your views and opinions on
the Irish question, but this does not ap-
pear to interest them. All they remark on
any subject is, "Ohr' as it," did hep
YES" and "You don't say sor' And after
ten minutes of such style of conversation
you edge up to the door and slip out, and
are surprised to find that the door imme-
diately closes behind you and shuts itself
without your having touched it.
Half an hour later you think you will
Cry pipe in the conservatory. The only
chair in the place is occupied by Emily,
and John Edward, if the language of
clothes can be relied upon, has evidently
been sitting on the floor. They do not
speak, but they give you a look that says
all that can be said in civilized COM
munity, and you back out promptly and
shut the door behind you.
You are afraid to poke your nose into
any room in the house now; so, after walk.
ing up and down the stairs for while, you
go and sit in your own bedroom This be
comes uninteresting, however, after q
time, and so you put on your hat and
stroll out into the garden. You walk down
the path, and as you pass the summer
house you glance in, and there are those
two young idiots huddled up in one corner
of it; and they see you, and are evidently
under the idea that, for some wicked pur
pose of your own, you are following them
about
'Why don't they have Especial room fol-
this sort of thing, and make people keeI
to it?' you mutter; and you rush back tc
the hall and get your UNI brella and go out
1t must have been much like this wher
that foolish boy Henry VIII was counting
his little Anne. People in Buckingham
shire would have come upon them unex
pectedly when they were incoming round
Windsor and Wraysbury, and have ex
claimed, ooh! you herel'' and Henri,
would have blushed and said, eyes: hav
Just come over to see man." and Ann
would have said: "Oh, Pm so glad to Sc
youi Isn't it funny? I've just met Mr.
Henry VIII in the lane, and he's going tn
same way am"
Then those people would have gone ava.
and said to themselves: ooh! we'd bette
get out of here while this billing and coo
ing is on. Well go down to Kent"
And they would go to Kent, and the frs
thing they would see in Kent, when the,
got there, would be Henry and Anne fool
ing round Hever castle.
''Oh, drat thisr' they would have said
"Here, let's go away. / can't stand an,
more of it. Let's go to St. Albans-nice
quiet place, St. Adams"
And when they reached st. Adams Their
would be that wretched couple, kissin,
under the abbey walls. Then these folk
would go and be pirates until the rnarriag
was over.-Jerome K. Jerome's "Thre
Men in Boat"