davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-12-18

ing myself AN honest JuleT. thought Il
would be fine joke TO make him believe
that was serious, and fenced with him.
The next morning noticed that every
one in the hotel looked az me askance.
Even the walters treated me as sort of a
mild lunatic. This WAS great fun, but it
became very embarrassing when / endeav-
ured TO be serious upon serious subjects.
Every one answered me in a soothing way.
began 10 get very tired of my joke
went 10 the chief hotel clerk
" See here said, it's about time this
honest thief business was put an end TO.
ISN'T itg
Certainly. sir he answered. in reas-
Surfing tone
"'Of course it's all a joke went on.
Certainly, sir said the clerk, every
one knows that you aren't thief
III should hope So l cried, getting
angry.
There, there, sir he said gently, IN
have that matter attended to-
What matterl' I said furiously. DO
YOU think that l am a lunatic TO be treated
this wayf
Most assuredly not he answered in
tones which said emphatically that most
assuredly he did
well, you may make out my bill
"'AlI right, sir he responded grate-
fully.
Il went up TO my room. A chamber
maid was there gazing at the labels
When she saw me she gave me a frightened
look and started for the door.
Come back l said sternly.
"She stood still with bated breath.
What are you running away for?
asked
Towels, SIR she gasped-
"'You are not. You think Inn crazy.
~'Oh, no, sir she answered, eoglng to
ward The doc-
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-12-18
EASY ENOUGH 10 PLAY LuNATlc.

but the Hard Work Came When He
Tried to Prove Is Was Only "a Joke.
Il have in my life" said the colonel
been severely misiudge,l In fact, a case
OF mistaken identity nearly cost me my
neck once, when some Colorado cowboys
did me the honor TO take me for horse
thief OF course that was unpleasant. No
man who has any regard for his reputation
cares TO be lyuched. however innocent be
may be. As said, have been taken for
a horse thief have been held up by high
waynen. have been forced by public
opinion TO take part in a lynching l have
been accused Of 'squstjing' when the claim
was clearly my own. and gracefully yield
ed to cogent argument-a six shooter. /
have had many little experiences more ex-
citing than enjoyable but think that the
one which caused me more genuine woe
than any other was trip which recently
made .tE.- e-- -I.a
II lent a trunk % a friend of mine few
weeks ago. am not going 70 tell you his
name, nor am | going to give you the real
nSme of the play which bis company WAS
giving. But it was great deal like An
Honest Thief fully as discreditable, any
way. When my trunk was returned 70 me
it was literally piastered over with slips of
paper, on which were printed the words
An Honest Thief You could not stick n
pin against that trunk without running it
through one Of those slips
When was on nay trip, having taken
along this trunk. noticed that drew a
great deal of attention. got used 10 the
advertisements on my trunk, but other
people did not
AT hotel in Chicago 8 man came up 20
ne, and after striking up conversation
Turned it upon the subject Of trunks Soon
3e asked me What mr. object was IN label
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-12-18
The Czar's Lesson.

During his stay at Fredensburg Prince
Albert, con of H. R. H. the Prince Of
Wales, diverted himself by tormenting
the life out Of the cars favorite dog
One day the emperor of Russia, as he
passed along the shore of the Lake Of
Esrom, which bounds the park Of FIRE.
densburg on one side, perceived the
young prince in the act of taking up his
dog in his arms and throwing him into
the water. Half in sport, half in anger,
Alexander Ill. who possesses uncommon
muscular strength, went up to the
young man-who is his nephew, by the
by-and seizing him by the coat collar
threw him into the lake in his turn, say
ing:
GAS you seem to be so fond of water,
I'll give you taste of it for once"
Since this occurrence Prince Albert
has given the cars pet dog a wide
berth.--La Morale Amusante.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-12-18
Come hack, crlea, put she had neu,

Come hack, 1 CRED out she had fieu-
81 rang the bell violently and long.
"A porter came up carrying a coal bod
in one hand and numerous looking
poker in the other. He stuck his shaver
head in the door and glanced about him
suspiciously.
why did you bring that coal' asked.
Didn't you want its be said. placing
the scuttle on the floor. but graSping the
poker more firmly.
~ did not
What did you ring for, sir'" he said,
watching me closely and hanging 10 his
poker
II want those labels taken OF my
trunk
He looked at the trunk. then n me and
then at the poker in his big fist
81 can't take EN- of alone. he said
why, certainly you can l answered
Indignantly. See here and ! advanced
TO show him how IL could be done.
Don't We come nesr rneF he shouted,
backing into corner and brandishing his
poker. III ye do III brain We, We munderin'
lunatic? His eyes were wild and be was
the picture of desperation
Take of those labels. l exclaimed
authOTitativeIy.
SURE an We doan' git me down on ne
knees before Ye. be said stubbornly. III
keep me eye on ye II ye touch me III
brain ye. tie cried wildly, a. | started
toward him in indignation 70 throw him
out Of the NOM He rushed for the door
and tore down the corridor with wild
yell
Il got down On mr. knees and scrsped
OF the labels Then ! packed my trunk
and started down TO tie oft,ee to pay my
bill. The elevator boy pretended not 70
see NE and went past my floor. When
called him and punched The Del he came
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-12-18
A Bible Three Centuries Old.

Mrs. Barbara Miller, who resides at
No. 419 East Sixty-frst street, has in her
possession very old Bible. 1t is Ger
man Catholic Bible, and was printed in
l543. The ancient volume is Is inches
long, inches wide and inches thick.
The leaves are yellow with age, and
would not bear handling. The type
nsed in printing the Bible was made of
wood. The book has always been in the
family, and has been handed down from
one generation to another. Mrs. Miller
has frequently been offered good prices
for the Bible, but refused to part with it.
New York World.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-12-18
Best Fodder for Cavalry Horses.

A series of experiments, made with a
new of discovering the best fodder for
French cavalry horses, has established
the fact that straw and oats are, in rea-
son, preferable to hay. 1t appeared that
when the ration of hay was reduced, and
that of the straw and oats proportion
ately increased, the staying power Of the
horses was much improved; they sweat
cd less and bore fatigue better. These
experiments have excited much interest
In military circles, and it is very gener-
ally recognized that there is imperative
need for q complete and careful study of
the question of cavalry forage.-New
York Commercial Advertiser.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-12-18

What DO son mean. j asked, 'oy
going past me IN that insolent wayY
He looked at me in terror and lodged
ont OF the elevator car. leaving me in it
alone.
Il walked down 20 the Office, and. pay
ing my bill. ordered the clerk 70 send for
nv baggage When IL came down the
porters piled il up AID stood aloof from
il as If IT were dynamite One Of them
spoke 20 the hackman u an uudertone
and the fellow gTsL-peI Us whip by the
wrong end When had entered the cab
he stood beyond my reach ana looked az
NE fiercely.
" I'll dhriye ye 20 tie daypct.' he said,
but doan't ye make D. able or I'll have
ye ARRESTED, shurs as me name j. Moike
McGhinnesy.
i never was 20 glad 20 get out Of a
town in ny life, and when the next tkest~
rical man wants 70 borrow a trunk Re
need not come 20 your humble servant -
New York Tribune-
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-12-18
contsus,lA AZ Thi. sphere.

Statisticians divide the earth into: Gull
tivstable land, rs, 46a. 900 square miles;
steppe. Scrub, poor grass, etns,l Is. 9Ol, 900
square miles; barren deserts, 4.lS0,OOO
square miles: a total of &C, $4,000 square
miles. The population living upon this
Is reckoned at a little over ,467 zoo, 600,
divided thus: Europe, 3G0, 200. 900; Asia,
b0000,0 900; Africa, $1,000. 900; Austria
liza, 4. $50, 600: North America, SO, $50 900;
South America, sc, 500 00o. Exchange.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-12-18
A Bright Drummer.

The drummer who cannot do his share
of Dragging, and perhaps little more,
is as rare in the community as the black
swan of antiquity. The latest specimen
of drummer's hyperbole | give here word
for word as it was told TO me: You
can't begin to conceive of the enormous
dimensions of our establishment. Just
think of i'll We didn't find out until we
began to take stock lately that two Of
our cashiers had been missing for four
weeksln-Jewelers' Weekly.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-12-18
Rcsnecf Cor Ara-

Proverbs and sage advice for the
young are perhaps common enough.
Counsel to the aged is not so frequent,
doubtless because it is not supposed TO
be so much needed.
Here, however, is a very wise and wit
~ bit Of advice to those who are grow
ing old, uttered by a French philoso-
pher:
Always respect gray hairs-above all
when they are on your own head
Youths Communion.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-12-18
uFE's ONWARD CURRENT.

Forever onward Il the march
From beas,ly hoof 70 hand
From savage 20 the seer and sago-
Prom saurian types % man:
Prom man 10 ancet-hmitless
A. are the starry spheres
Progression hath no, hAlr nor bound
In Gods eternal pears,
From darkest cloud the lightning lash
From rothing-ife Divine
From gloom TO glory Il the lar
The G3varying design.
A world ~ good invites our era
ASd charms the vi.ling mind
But be who Only misery hnes
BlAsphemcs the hfe Divine
No treaeherous eift Was llfe 70 man.
With deadly hate concealed.
For Love Divine the method planned
And al VIII he revealed
When DER the clouds that hover here
The risen soul surveys
Tie Trans.ons Of the eternal spheres
The land Of endless DAYS
The Arena
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-12-18
An ExpedIenL

Becggsr-Help NE, good sir, have =
large family. and can scarcely keep thr
wolf fror the door. We are n need -
food
Crusy-Hm. Have ron got 4 gun
Yes. sir
well. here's FIVE cents. 60 and buT
some ammunition, and TIE reIt time TIE
wolf CONES srouDd. kiu and eat him
Lawrence AroericAn
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-12-18
After Striking the Iceberg.

Captain-Hurry up there. Get into
the boats. She'll 60 to the bottom in
five minutes.
Excited Passenger-But l say, captain,
give me time 10 get my rubbers, won't
you? If | get my feet wet it'll De the
death O. me.-EpJch.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-12-18

Teaeher-whers. ~ 80 oosaia eo-al. Ff~1
az
FreddT-Frcm the coal tsesss. na'ass-
Tezeher- ss1-lt, M. Jimmy, Nhsrs
60 we oozai1 feathers'
Jimmy Prom tie fs4thsr BEDS. rsa'arn-
New YORK sin
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-12-18

Judge J. p. Smith. % Fort Worth.
Tex. who's wealth 10 now es1inastsd II
g. 30 OoJ. once wziked from Rsnrucky
20 Texas becans~ ~ nd not have 1On-
ey enough &c pay his p@ssAgs-
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-12-18
NgnOHxnnnR

''rhey were married in New York, and
chen they went to live in Philadei phia."
"Ahi Married in Taste to repent at leis
ure '--Ne,v Xxx Srr
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-12-18

A BEDTIME SONG.


Sway 30 and fro In the twilight gray,
This Is the terry OF Shaaowtown;
It always sails az the end OF day,
Just as the darkness is closing down.
Rest little head, on my shoulder, so;
A sleepy kiss Is the only fare;
Drifting away from the world we 60.
Baby and in the rocking chair.
See where the fire logs glow and spark,
Glitter the lights Of Shadowland;
The winter rain on the window-harki
Are rippleS tapping upon its strand
There where the mirror is gIancing dim
A lake hes shimmering. cool and still;
Blossoms are waving above its brin-
Those over there on the window sill
Rock slow, more slow, in the dusky light,
Silently lower the anchor down.
Dear little passenger say Good night,
We've reached the harbor of Shadowtown
w Douglas ClaypooL
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-12-18

v,Io1sso uueu1 GAYS Gus -ue-rruo pvuevs usuA
'v.Icssuo o. sunIo eos SSH suuSoso sqs usqA
sxslo.sso Ioy pslI0 Gus PHO = ssA eos usVA
.vuo.svl Isg sAvs ca 'za,s suA 6qra usvA
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-12-18

"TIcw absurd 20 call that rn2Zuifeeu
range the Rockv u1ouc-asBs
"I-ntst Meat n well csli t1e Afis-
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-12-18

Ths ARR q lie css~E = A<re
la Ga there's 20 1@EFi.r
Auf wsa 80 Esasl1g cs<eS-sx a4rs
"a 1Q-s< kzss Szzls trylzx
-ISpe CO Lea
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-12-18
SJAC0B3SS OIL
Neuralgia.

Hacsn.orp. Nj
ApT1 "a. lsn
= and sfhsrs n NJ
fsuaT. have ssed s.
Iaesls OF f5r nes-
rHlgs snd f0us3 -
q EpesGT. ccscars
err
Ms A1sKs <KIrT
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-12-18
Rheumatism.

y. Ogcsn. Mich
MAJ Il lsso
a half bocis %
your tHyatnsbls
netieine. 81 jacobs
OF. eursss ms q Fn~u
nlsfis1n and fhsG.
matte swelling sffhs
knse TIA fss teaf q
he unsVer~
J. ". l. PokTKh
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-12-18

Children Cry for Pitchers CastOria.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1890-05-31

John r. Brennan, Of Rapid City has
rendered his resignation as member Of
the board Of trustees of the Dakota
School of Mines. Following is the text
of his letter addressed TO Hon Judge
Edgerton, President Of board OF regents
South Dakota:
DEAR SIR - herewith tender my res
ignation as a member Of the board OF
trustees of the Dakota School of Mines,
to take effect at once. 1t is impossible
for me to give the position the atten-
ton it requires, and having served on
the board for more than four years,
have had all the glory out of the posi-
ion man could reasonably expect 30
am willing 10 give some one else q
chance. Yours respectfully.
JOHN X. BRENNAN.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1890-05-31
Complimentary.

The old lady who rims the Custer
CHRONIC has been firing at us again.
She has flow of language sufficient to
run a conference meeting or o fish
market-but then it requires q peculiar
gift to run a paper in q dead town
something must be done to fll up
Hare's Miner.
Thanks ! The old lady is deeply
grateful for the highly complimentary
reference to her peculiar journalistic
"gift" which the Miner has so conde-
sendingly submitted, and values the
compliment all the more highly, CON-
ing as it does from one who is endowed
with such remarkable talent in the lfns
Of journalism as he is known to possess.
We can but feel the insignificance Of q
gift like ours when compared with that
OF the Miner mans, which insures sue
cess in every enterprise undertaken,
even should II involve the appropri-
alton Of the name of local conteinpor-
ary for his own special use and benefit.
Before man possessing such wonder
gift we stand utterly appalled,, and are
absolutely powerless to express the full
measure of qualification. consequent
upon the complimentary mention above
reproduced. More thanks.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1890-05-31
Our Persistent Senator.

Senator Moody moved his tin TO the
room Of the committee on finance 30
that the very able senator's who will
have charge of the revision of the tariff
bill may see what South Dakota pre-
duces and be encouraged to place a
duty upon block tin. Senator Moody
made q strong plea before the ways and
means committee to have tin placed on
the dutiable list, br ne protests from
the representatives Of yestern farming
districts where ca, nipf operat...s are
engaged in, preyen. ? any such action
being taken. 1t is expected that the tin
men will be out in force when the
schedule is considered by the senate
committee" Senator Moody may not
succeed, for he Is confronted by one OF
the most powerful trusts and monopolies
in the United States. but the people Of
the Hills appreciate his efforts in their
behalf which, IL successful, will &C.
complish more for this locality and
state than anything that could be deyls-
ed.--Times.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1890-05-31

Reliable reports from Deadwood would
indicate that prohibition does not pro-
hibit in that place, but on the contrary,
that wide open saloons, where the ar
dent may be procured in any desired
quantity, from q modest dram to an
original package, are doing lively and
profitable business. In the entire cate
CORY of laws passed by the state legls-
latures with view to the improvement
of the public morals, none haye thus far
proved less effective than those enacted
for the purpose Of suppressing the sale
of intoxicants, and it is daily becoming
more apparent that nothing short OF
national prohibition will ever &C.
complish the end desired. So long al
the sale of liquor is sanctioned by gov.
ernment license, just so long will prohi.
bition be failure in the state adopting
it. When South Dakota's stringent pro
hibitory law fails to prohibit, it is safe
to conclude that prohibitionists must
look to higher power than the state
legislature for the relief demanded.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1890-05-31

that her advancement will hereafter be
rapid and permanent, and that there
will be no check in her career Of pros
perity, until in the glowing future, when
her boundless mineral and other materi-
al resources shall have been fully
developed, she will occupy prominent
position among the leading cities of the
northwest.
The CHRONICLE is pleased to state,
that it still tarries with its early convic-
tions, as repeatedly submitted in previ.
GUS issues, and is even more firmly than
ever welded to the belief, now largely
entertained, both in and out of this
place, that Custer will eventually be-
come the chief city, and leading mining
emr orium of the Black Hills.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1890-05-31
And Save Money Where They Sell chea
AeENT FOR BUCKEYE BINDING AND MOVING MACHINES

Custer City. So. Dakota.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1890-05-31

/. A. Webb, Geo. Furner and VIM
Stokes have secured the contract fol
furnishing the ties OF the b. q M. line
from Hill City to Deadwood. And they
are TO be used this year, too. Do you
understand that, Mr.. CHRONICLE man !
Hill City News.
Wait until you catch leedle more
on Danny, and you will know some
dings more as you know now. Shust
wait, and bye and bye after vile may
beyou will find some dings py che
many oud. Do you hear dot?
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1890-05-31

Gov. Mellette has appointed the fol-
lowing commissioners to the worlds
fair: w. II. McIntire, of Watertown,
and M. III. Day, of Rapid City. The
former is republican and the latter a
democrat. Z. S. Bullard, of Pierre, al
ternate for McIntire and s. A. Ramsay,
of Woonsocket. for Day.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1890-05-31

The Black Hills Union calls the work
Of the B. * NJ. in building their line
through the center of the Hills, a
"splurge." The wish is so evidently
father to the thought, with the Union
man, as to suggest sour grapes. One
such "splurge" as the b. & NJ. are now
making in the vicinity of Hill City
would elevate the Rapid papers into
the seventh heaven of bliss, and would
send the valuation of corner lots SO high
in that city that the local real estate
dealers could not find figures enough
to use in publishing their sham trades
among themselves. The Union should
know that a large force of graders have
been at work for more than week in
the vicinity of Hill City, which certainly
does not look much like weakening. /"
1t is strange that the metropolitan jour-
nails ofa would he great city like Rapid,
cannot drop their narrow sectionaiism
and publish news, instead Of opinions,
now that there is actually something be.
ing done in the Hills.--Miner.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1890-05-31

The supreme court of Montana to-day
decided the contested election case OF
the sheriff of Silver Bow county, in.
yolving the validity Of the vote in the
famous precinct No. "a. The court un.
animously held that the vote of the
precinct was so irregular in all respects
and so saturated with proven fraud that
it should be entirely rejected. This
elects the sheriff and all the republican
officers in Silver Bow county.--Helena
special, 81,
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1890-05-31

An exchange states that you can read
the proof of a newspaper article three or
four times, and repeatedly pass the same
mistake without seeing it. All news
paper men tell you SO. But as soon as
the press is started and the paper is in
complete shape, there stands the error
in front of you so big that you can't see
anything else. It's strange fact and is
probably Il g same reason why it is so
easy to edit newspaper after it is print
ad
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1890-05-31
CUSTER CITY, SOUTH DAKOTA, SATURDAY, MAY 81. 1896

The Hill City Miner dubs that place
the future Leadville of the Black Hills,
distinction which we deyoutly hope
may be realized. In any event she
may find consolation in the fact that
she will be only fourteen miles north of
the Denver
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1890-12-27
Too observant.
From the BaltImore Herald.

A gentleman from Virginia related to a
friend in Gay street car the other day
how he hired negro and put him in a
field 10 work. After while the planter
came along and accosted the new hand
'Did you see a coach go down the road
a while ago ?"
Indeed did, boss. One OBJ de bosses
was a gray boss and the odder was a roam
and lame in his off leg"
~ thought | heard some hunters over
there on the edge of the woods"
"Yes, boss. One of dem was Colonel
Jones; he was the tall one. De second
one was Major Peters, and the third one
was Tom Mckee Colonel Jones had
one OBJ dem new tangled breech loading
gnRs that breaks in two"
"Did you see those wild pigeons fly over
just now p
aSee EN-? Guess / did! Oar was
nineteen Oh 'em. Dey lit in dat old corn
field down yonder.
well, you see too much for man that
is hired by the day. Here's your wages
When want man 10 keep watch of
what is going on LII send for you.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1890-12-27
Original poetrp.
THE OLD YEAR.


Written for the Democratic Advocate.
BYLsG.
sit me down to watch with thee, Old Year,
To thy last throe-for have loved thee well.
And fain would at thy parting drop my tear,
Though may chant no requiem; toll no bell
In thy soft sprngtme, in thy summer glory,
And VIII u in autumn days each wooded hill
stood crowned with flame. I've loved thee old and
hoary,
Thy last moments going-I love thee still.
Yes. will watch with thee while silence deep
Reigns all around me, only, tick by tick.
The clock tells of the seconds, and the sweep
orthis last hour is told by each low click.
trim my midnight lamp and sit and think,
One questions conscience at a dealhbed here.
| question mine, and ravel, link by link,
Ny chain of words and deeds that spans the year.
Would it were woven better! but in vain
Are all regrets unless one grid the life,
Amid the saekcloth Of repentant pain,
With strength To conquer in a Drawer strife.
But while east a sober backward eye,
Above my widowed head the clock ticks on
one moment only. swiftly, silently,
This last moment gocs-and now It's gone.
Twelve singing thrilling strokes. And now know
The chimes peal ont from many midnight bell;
Here hut the night-wind signs above the snow
I've watched with thcc-thou diest-so farewell
8 Nci0 oxford. Pa.