Telegram-herald., 1890-03-15
PuNoENr PASSAGES

=
Ca aad chat He Beaatslal tree.
Ana id you plant Il yoarselfgs
GLASS shingles may DO vel enoagh
Tor the roofs of houses, bal they viii
not l2ks the place OF wooden ones IN
TIE nursery department Of household
economy
THsRE are 6.5o9 praeticiag physicians
il Illinois, as IS shown by the revised
list just prepared By the State Board Of
Health, ana yet the State Is gaining N
population.
MUpGE-"D Doctor, II / we're 10 lose my
mind, DO you suppose would De aware
Of j. myself2" Or. Boless--'Nou would
not And very likely none ~ your ao-
euzintances would notice u either
A GENTLENAN from the country says
that he has no objection 70 a decent cot
tage, but that be has strong sntlpathy
u houses which are Queen Anne IN
front and Mary Anne al the back.
..SEE here. be said 10 bis clerk, Il
don't mind letting you OF for dag now
and then 70 attend your grandmother's
funeral but | think you ought 70 have
around 70 my house.
MRs. CHURCH 10 Mrs. Meeting House
~ did 30 want 10 90 70 the whist club
tonight, but il is Lent, you know, and
we have 10 give up things No want most
TO do and DO the things We dislike, and
so concluded d run in ana spend the
evening with YOU"
A.,
~, gazing at a man who was playing
drum, cymbals, clarionet and four other
instruments at one time. Why SOP
asked William. you have only 10 XIII
one man 10 wipe out the entire band"
was the sanguinary reply.
"SrRANGE," remarked Mrs. Brown, Il
have rung at Mrs. Smiths door three
times this week and didn't succeed IN
raising any one. | suppose the family
Is out OF town?" Possibly" replied
Mrs. Jones, but Mrs. Smith told me
lust now she could tell your ring among
thousand"
BAaLEY-"Only a little party, my
dear boy. Mrs. Bagley insists upon your
coming" Ponsonby-"With pleasure.
That's right And-e-by the way
you play the flute, l believe?" "Yes.
Shall /" Leave it at home? You
have anticipated my very words. Yes,
by all means"
FoREIGS POWER (sarcastically)-
Backing out, i see" Uncle Sam (sor-
rowfully)-''Yes, do as you please. j
won't make any resistance" Foreign
Power (proudly)-''I knew you wouldn't
dare DEFY me- Uncle Sam (hotly)-"lt
amt you I'm afraid of. you old fool.
wouldn't mind a war. What I'm afraid
OF is the pensions"
NERVOUS GENTLEMAN-"Now, be care
ful how you drive, cabby, and go slowly
over the stones, for ! hate 10 be shaken.
| And mind you pull up at the right
house, and look out for those dreadful
steam cars" Cabby-"Never fear, sir,
/ I'll do my best. And which 'orsepital
would you wish to be taken TO, sir, in
rase of an accident
"MY hands are awfully cold" said the
( pretty girl, suggestively, on the last
/ quarter of starlit sleighride. why
| didn't you bring muf with you?"
asked the practical young man, pro-
saically. 81 didr she snapped; but she
wouldn't explain where the muf had
gone to, and he has been wondering
ever since just what she meant
Rev. De. SUTTON once said to the late
| Mr.. Peech, a veterinary surgeon: "Mr.
! Peech, how is it that you have not
sailed upon me for your account? ''Oh," :"
said Mr.. Peech, II never ask gentle
man for money "Indeed!' said the
vicar. Then how do you get on if he
doesn't .pay?" why" replied Mr..
/ Peech, "after certain time conclude
that he is not 4 gentleman, and then
.el- >