Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1890-04-02
EQUALITY IN SATURN.
A Vivid Bit of Imagination by Oliver
Wendell Holmes.

Wendell Holmes.
So far as the Saturnians can be said to
have any pride in any thing, it is in the
absolute level which characterizes their
political and social order. They pro-
fess to be the only true republicans in
the solar system. The fundamental ar.
ticles of their constitution are these:
All men are born equal, live equal
and die equal.
All men are born free-free, that is,
to obey the rules laid down for the regu-
lation of their conduct, pursuits and
opinions; free to be married to the per-
son selected for them by the physioIog-
teal section of the government, and free
to die at such proper period of life as
may best suit the convenience and gen.
eral welfare of the community.
The one great industrial product of
Saturnis the bread-root, The Saturnians
find this wholesome and palatable
enough, and it is we'll they do. as they
have no other vege table. 1t is what I
should call most uninteresting kind of
eatab1e, but it serves as food and drink,
having juice enough SO that they can
get along without water. They have a
tough, dry grass, which, matted to-
gether, furnishes them with clothes suf-
ficiently warm for their cold -blooded
constitution and more than sufficiently
| ugly.
A piece of ground large enough to
furnish bread-root for ten persons is al
lotted to each head of household, al
lowance being made for the possible ip-
crease of families. This, however, is
not very important consideration, as
the Saturnians are not a prolific race.
The great object of life being the
product of the largest possible quantity
OF bread-roots, and women not being so
capable in the fields as the stronger sex,
females are considered an undesira BILE
addition to society.
The one thing the Saturnians dread
and abhor is inequality. The whole
object of their laws and customs is to
maintain the strictest equality in eyerv
thing, social relations, property ESQ far
as they can be said to have any thing
which can be so called, mode of living,
dress, and all other matters. 1t is their
boast that nobody ever starved under
their government Nobody goes in rags,
for the coarse-f1bered grass from which
they fabricate their clothes is very
durable. q confess 1 wonder how a
woman could live in Saturn. They
have no lookin- glasses. There is no such
article as a ribbon known among them.
All their clothes were of one pattern.
noticed that there were no pockets in
any OF their garments, and learned
that pocket would be considered prima
facie evidence of theft, as no honest
person would have use for such a secret
receptacle.)
Before the revolution, which estab-
llshed the great law of absolute and
lifelong equality, the inhabitants used
to feed at their own private tables.
since the regeneration of society all
meals are taken in common The last
relic of barbarism was the use of plates
one or even more TO each individual.
This ''odious relic of an afete civiliza-
tion," as they called it, has long been
superseded by oblong hollow recepta-
cles, one of which is allotted to each
twelve persons. A great riot took place
when an attempt was made by some
fastidious and exclusive cyclists to in
troduce partitions which should partial
iy divide ono portion of these recepta-
cles into individual compartments. The
Saturnians boast that they have no
paupers. no thieves, none OF those fic-
titious values called money-all which
things, they hear, are known in that
small Saturn nearer the sun than tho
great planet which is their dwelling
place.-Oliver Wendell Holmes, in At
lantic.