Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-09

have to take the conversationalist anC
humorIst out into the voodshed and Civ,
them something extra before the meal, il
order to keep them up to where they woulC
be willing TO sparkle and be the life of th'
party, but even then it would be q grea
saving to you. 1 once went TO a delightful
dinner of this kind, but was not told t.
sparkle, so talked entirely with young lady
near me all the evening regarding Mr.. Rus
sell and the Delsarte theory.
The host was so mad that he did not pas
me the pie at all, and ate my dried prunes
with the rich umbrella Juice that went with
them, while was looking the other way,
When he gave me my hat and overcoat al
last In the hall he hissed in nv ear:
You have went back on me and have
came to my house for the last time. If you
had of done the square thing you would
have had as good time as you was ever at
and got your little old S5 besides, but now
you can be excused. 1 didn't asst you to
come here and stuff yourself full of my
victuals and then talk art to a mere STRIPPING
of girl. If you want to get ahead you
want to do it some other way"
told him that when found out where to
get head would be sure to give him the
address. then selected good pair of over
shoes, took what 1 thought to be a fresh
not smell so fresh, however, after I lighted
it as thought it would.
NUMEROUS QUERIES ANSWERED.
bright Alfarata," San Jose, Cal, asks
what to do for an ingrowing nail and how
to make salt rising bread. do not know
what to do. never had eyether.
Theological Student''-No, you are
wrong about that. At Gutenberg, on the
4tb, the fifth race of 61I furlongs was won
by Fordham, Blue Rock second, Carnegie
third; time, 1:21Z.
"Sangamon," Erie, Pa, asks how the
passenger steamships of the United States
compare with those OF other countries, En-
gland especially. The United States does
not or do not compare well with England in
the matter of passenger steamers. Aside
from the Hoboken ferry and a nRphtha
launch, our keels are not found blowing the
waters very much. Buffalo Bill goes over
to London with his Indians and scouting
clothes in a foreign steamship, and then
foreign steamships take 300, 900 people over
there to see him. Then, when they get
through, foreign steamships bring them
home, also the deecy William and his band.
Then he goes to Paris in a foreign steamer.
Several hundred thousand Americans go
over there also, utilizing English and other
alien keels for that purpose in order to hear
Colonel Cody converse with Chemise La
Rouge in French. Then they come home
the same way, and he follows suit.
CHARACTER OF THE AMERICAN.
When we get the Worlds Fair it will be
the same way. The American is not an
aquatic bird, but rather a newer of wood
and vender of town lots. He riseth up in
the morning while it is yet night and saith
unto himself, 1 will buy farm in Anoka
county, and will lay it out in lots, and 1
will also lay out the gentle ass that buyeth
the same, and l will make him for to bray
before the evening has come, for behold he
shall call for a room at an inn and he shall
record his name thereat and the name
wherewithal he shall record himself will be
Dennis.
Birdie" South Brooklyn, n. Y, asks:
Who was Wild Bill, and how did he die?
Wild Bill was gentleman named Hickock,
and he did not reck aught for anyone. 1t
was said that he had a most peculiar thorax.
All his ribs and breast bones were so closely
united that his heart and side lights were
encased In bony canoply almost impervious
to bullet, and he was frequently spoken of
as the man with the huntipg-case thorax
and Bessemer works. He could drink, or
he could let it alone, so he divided up the
time in such away that he would let it alone
mostly while engaged in slumber.
He was shot in the back of the head by
brave but cross-eyed man at Deadwood in
The spring of '76. as be sat at card table in
1ns of ahe social centers of thu. city, play
ing progressive euchre. Wild Bill wore
profusiVe hair, in which at early spring
time the swallows were wont to build their
nests and rear their young.
NOT AT ALL PUFFED UP.
The murderer of Wild Bill, after his
crime, came at once on horseback from
Deadwood to my town, where through
strong political influence 1 got an intro
duction to him. He talked pleasantly and
even kindly to me, although be had denied
himself to all other reporters and held him
self aloof from the general public. He was
rather plain in appearance, and vet can