, 1890-04-27

We took the sleeper on the Central Pa
cifc railroad for San Francisco and we're
lust in time to catch the steamer State Of
California for Portland. Out through
the Golden Gate on a glorious morning at
10 o'clock we steamed softly away, as the
poet says. Oakland and NUb hill, and
Goat island, and Telegraph hill, and Lone
mountain, and the Cliff House, and Sutro
heights, one by one faded away. The
croupy baying OF the sea lions grew more
indistinct, the asthmatic engine quicken
ed its stroke, and we were abroad on the
hearing chest Of the Pacific.
Some got out their glasses, and others
their summer literature, and some their
lunches. but mot everyone went below to
dive-t himself OF what is known as the
California flea. The California flea does
not differ from the American len, except
that he Is a trihe darker on the stomach,
and ia also the hopeless victim OF insom
pia. His motto is: we never sleep
nor allow anybody else to do so. Also.
I'VE do not die in the house.
This little insec' is what might bt
termed a tuft hunter. He seeks out the
great and the eminent of all ages and
all climes. lie associates with his super
iors with IS little embarrassment as a
member OF the legislature would. He
also has a way of attracting attention to
himself which must arouse the envy and
admiration of Dennis Kearnev.
Lar ge flocks of sea gels, poised on
graceful wing, followed us far out to sea,
The gull is not a very pretty bird, neither
is he a good songster. He flies with
much ease and grace, but his song re
minds me OF the remark made by an aged
horse | once owned, who had formed the
uni, rtunate habit OF crlbbing. The gull
is a good roadster, but his voice needs a
lIIt!e machine oil on the second Joint. He
pursues a ship on ~tircless wing for days at
a Time, taking anything that may be OF
i2rcd by kind friends, always giving a
grateful creak in return. His ambitions
are not praise worthy, however, and his
aspirations are otial.
On the way out of the bay | saw our
old friend the practical joker. lie had
been with us several days On the cTs and
at hotels. lie was getting some more
jokes ready for the voyage. God did not
sec BIT to shower any brains on him, but
after completing the flea and pronOuncing
him good the practical joker was produced
from the shaving aud debris left over on
the completion OIL the uta.
lie began life by jerking the chair out
from beneath his old grandmother and
laughing immoderately when she broke
her neck. He then advanced rapidly in
bellishncss. doing this same trick for the
pa ,tor whilst the latter temporarily stood
mp at table in order to more deity stab a
hot ,saleratus biscuit. The boy nov began
u try more difficult Jobs, and soon coIl
all, a "a - RnrparI don fTbnu IUIFtnu
him, he turned him loose in a primary
school Tor the blind. where he succeeded
in burning up quite n number OF children.
whilst his " eyes twinkled with merri-
mCnt.
Oh. he just bubbled over with his
roguish spirit of gentle fun.
Well, he was on board. | did not like
him very much, for he had stuffed my
plpestem full of paper once. and. though
| got it u iu half the time it took him
to put it in. | have no patience with a
large, full grown man with whiskers who
has nothing better TO do than study out
practical Jokes which would disgrace a
reform school and shock a 'Siwash'
Indian.
On the second daY. while he was slim
uliting himself, preparatory to having a
thought as he was led to believe, a giant
billOw struck us abait the scuppers on
the lee bow. The ship keeled over til
the salt spray rolled down the smoke
stack, and then seemed to hesitate a full
minute ere she righted herself before the
public, and then went over as Tar on the
other side. | had never taken any inter
est in this practical joker, and had no
curiosity whatever about his habits of
life or diet. | did not care a cent about
what he ate, and | always believe in PEG.
pie selecting such food as best agrees
with them. | do not know yet how he
got it into his head that | felt any inter.
est in his past. and yet he went on to
show me at some length his notions about
diet. furnishing a suitable style of gesture
ever and anon, which could have COM
mauded my sympathy if he had been a
human being.
How much better it is to leave our re-
venge in the hands OF a higher power!
How much better it will be attended to
and how much time it gives us in which
to mind our own businessl That young
man, when he got to the mouth Of the
Columbia, was the most %untenanted and
deserted and absolutely unfurnished man
| ever saw.
He wanted to die, but l told him it
would DOT be right. l vent to see him
frequently. L would most always take
d cabbage: with hot doughnuts or som,
of little dehcAcy like that, and while the
shed their gentle fragrance through h
hot, close state room, l would speak ,
] him of his lost and undone condition