Daily tobacco leaf-chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1890-1895, 1890-04-11
THE WHIMS OF DIALECT.
A CANADIAN WOMAN OUT SHOPPING
IN AN AMERICAN CITY

Rules-An Argument for Annexation,
II win never forget, said Canadian wo-
man who lives in this city, my first efforts
ut shopping in this city, went alone be-
cause my husband was busy at his Office, and
had as yet made no acquaintance. You
know in that raw country, which really is so
vast and yet seems so small, we have many
different names for things from those the
people called Americans have, though why
everybody on the western hemisphere is not
called an American is hard tc understand
"Well, soon found myself in big store,
not any bigger, however, than one or two Of
those in Montreal or Toronto that was ac-
customed to. l wanted material to make
sheets Of, not linen but cotton sheets, Cana
dams call the material cotton. asked floor
walker where to get it, and he directed me to
a certain counter. Two or three people We're
being waited on at the counter, and lawalted
my turn, expecting that when the clerk had
served those who came before me he would
ask me what / wanted. l found, however,
that several people who came after me called
out to him what they wanted while he was
yet waiting on others, and when he was able
he handed down the articles required so that
the rudest and most pushing shoppers were
first served.
sin Canada it is the custom, just as it is
here in barber shops and the like, for the
clerk to keep his eye on the order in which
his customers arrive and serve first the first
corners. Thus modest woman is relieved of
much embarrassment and rude women gain
nothing by their rudeness.
COTTON OR MUSLIN.
"When ] succeeded in getting the clerks
attention l asked to see some cotton.
"'What numberP he asked.
"'No number that know of, l replied
i want white cotton reasonably fine.'
"'Forty is medium fine, he said, pulling
out a drawer of spools and selecting one
for me.
cotton, cottonI Don't you know what cot
ton is9 Steam loomY l queried in despair,
remembering another word we had for it,
"'This is cotton, he said rudely. q guess
you want muslin with a patronizing grim,
"Now muslin with us is the fine material
called dress muslin or lawn here, and | Ger
tainly did not want that, and it took the
combined efforts of the floor walker, two or
three clerks (clarks, | pronounced it,, and
sundry cash girls to convince me that muslin
was the American store name shop used to
call it in my provincialism) for cotton and
cotton for thread
"When these patronlZing people had sutfi-
GENTLY Inundated me, and had stared at me
and discussed me with winks, grins, mods and
giggles to their hearts content and had evil
IDENTIFY set me down as some very recent ar
rival from lunatic asylum, ! asked to see a
pair OF boots,
" For a boyP asked the clerk.
4" For myself, said l.
" We don't keep ladies' boots, ma'am,' he
answered. Have no call for them. Ladies
generally order them where they get their
riding habits,
" Riding habitsp l said, in establishment
oh, don't mean long boots. mean just
boots, like those / see there, plenty of them )
'Them's Shoes he answered, mot boots }
"'Oh, you call them shoes, do you! And
what then do you call theseF and | put my
hand on a pair of what l had always called
shoes.
"'Them's low cut Shoes he said, oxford
ties
"Then comprehended that what l called
long boots Americans call boots, what called
boots they called shoes, and what | called
shoes they called low necked-no, low cut
shoes, or Oxford ties.
CRINKLED NOTIONS.
81 must have some hairpins, now l said
with resignation; perhaps you don't call
them by that name, but could draw you a
diagram of the article if you think you could
recognize it.
He did not take my suggestion in the
spirit in which it was made, but snappishly
informed me that Notions is over there
Notions said to myself, quite pleased
at my rapid accumulation of American store
language, 'hairpins are to be notions hereafter
with you Approaching the girls at this
counter, which was heaped up with miscel-
laneous assortment of small wares, | said,
Give me paper Of notions, please, assorted
sizes, of the wavy or crinltled variety
A look of surprise appeared III the girls
ewes and then smoker ran along their tired
faces, and knew | had betrayed my ignor-
ance again. TO my establishment and delight
discovered that hairpins were hairpins still
They seemed like old friends in strange
land, and bought enough to last me a year.
Notions / discovered embraced everything
on that counter, though why no one could
explain.
FINALLY, when l came to give my address
in order to have the goods sent home, spelled
out my name to the clerk, Hazard. When
i came to the third letter, when l had al
ways been taught to pronounce 'zed, he
stopped and asked to have it repeated.
"'Zed,' reiterated.
"'ZedF he queried, in a puzzled way,
Certainly | said, a Titled nettled. Don't
you know your lettersl Zed, the last letter
of them ALL
"'Oh, zee, he laughed, That's what you
mean, is itG'
"'Have it zee if you like answered
weakly, with a groan; 4 will go home, buy
me an American A e book and begin my
education again at the beginning. New
| York Tribune.