Morning journal and courier., 1890-08-20
EXPLOSIVE.

'Why do you always go to walk round the powder houseg" Because am trying to break off smoking. ."-Fliegende Blatter.
 Woman may be a trusting creature, and all that, but she isn't apt to be deceived into giving too much credit to another woman.-Elmira Gazette.
 Quite Orthodox.-Vesey-.'L you a twenty! Why, you must think I'm made of dust" Nelson-''Well, believe that is the accepted Biblical teaching. ."-Ameri can Grocer.
 An Indefinable Term.-Visitor-"H long are you in for, my poor man." Pris- oner-''Dunno, ma'am" Visitor-"How can that be.' Pr:soner-''It's life sen tence. Pluck.
 Dumpsey-Blobson's Wife is very small, isn't she. Popinjay-Yes; you would hard ly believe it, but I have heard it said that she goes through his pockets every night. Burlington Free Press.
 In Darktown-''Gentlem rse sorry to say can't take han in dat little po- kah game dis ebenin'." Whats de mat tah.' 'Ise done come away and fergot my ] razzer "-Boston Courier.
 ''I have changed my mind," said MT. Poots, loftily, when his wife reminded him that he promised her a new hat. ''I pity the one you changed with, 1" said Mrs. Poots, scornfully. ."-Texas Siftings.
 'well, well, you've got back from your vacation. How did you enjoy yourself.' | "Oh, 80, so; but there's no place like home, after all" That's what we all go away to find out "-Hartford Post.
 Horse dealer-"Count,y you had certainly better buy that horse. He is perfectly sound" q believe you. If he hadn't been sound he would never have lived to such an age."-Fliegende Blatter.
 Reasonable. William, my boy, why do you always go to drinking saloons and never go to lectures!" ''Well, father, you know there are so many saloons and only one university. ."-Fliegende Blatter. | An Authors tribulation. ''Have copy of 'Baled Hay,' sirf' Pennibs (author of the book)-"Ah, um, do you sell many copies of 'Baled Hayf" Trainboy-."Oh, catch sucker once in a | while. Puck
 In Politics, Perhaps.-''All those who pass through the door to success will find it labeled 'Push,'" oracularly announces the Oil City Blizzard. Seems as if we had seen some doors to success labeled Pull. --Westborough CMass.) Tribune.
 Mabel-''What perfectly exquisite new bonnet, dearestl" Ethel-''Oh, Pm so glad you like it. I was so afraid you wouldn't Are you sure you like itl" Mabel-'Sure Oh, perfectly, I always did adore that shape. Why, I had three just like it. when it was in fashion. "~West Shore.
 Grocer (to son)-"I see that you don know how to buy watermelons." Son "Why so." Grocer-''Because all thos
 you have selected have short stems" Sol -s'Does that make any differences" Gro cer-"Of course it does. When they hay long stems you can cut off part of tn
 stem every day and by that means hay fresh melons every day."-Arkansa, Traveller.
 ''Yes, Charles, have determined t } give up the muse. shall write no more. "Why, Thomas, the world will pine fo the lyrics of your pen. And will you h so heartlesss" ssYes, Charles, must. write for fame, and what is fame? Eve
 now the world denies Homer the honor (
 existence and declares Shakespeare a :, impostor I cannot, will not, subie, e myself to inevitable dignity -Chicae n | Times.