Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-03-07
HAD ALI. HE WANTED.

Is oft considered wise.
Boston Courier.
HAD ALI. HE WANTED.
links (solicitousiy) -.'Bhnks, stop
moment. That's fearful cold you have.
Are you taking anything forit?"
Blinks (IIurrying on)-"Not in the
shape of advice, Kiljortlan."
AN uNGRATEFUI COMPARISON.
Lord Duiferly ION his first visit to
New York)-"Who is that distinguished
looking man we Just passed? Why, he
has the bearing of Duke"
Mr.. Fourhuudred-" 'Sh! Don't let
police !"-Puck.
A NATURAL. CONCLUSION.
Mr.. lIardup-"Why don't you pay
more attention TO the cooking. You
know you can do first-rate cooking when
you try"
Mrs. Hardup-''I know I can, but
whenever / get up any particular nice
Haute Express.
CHARITY BEGINS NOT AT HOME.
"And what's all this hear, Barbara,
about your wanting TO find some occu-
pation?"
"Wcll, you sec, it's so dull ut home,
uncle. I've no brothers or sisters-and
papa's paralyzed-and mammals going
blind-so want to be Il hospital nurse"
London Punch.
HE WAS NOT SURE.
Guest-"1 want something to cat"
The waiter calls of number of dishes,
ut the same time moving about his feet
uneasily.
Guest observing this asks)-"Have
you any corns2"
Watcr-'Don't know. I'll ask the
cock. "-Itras Siitings.
HAD GOT HER CONSENT
Dick-'I intend to marry you
whether or no. ! know you love me. /
shall not go until get your consent"
Miss Flirttc-''You have it."
Dick-"Ah, l knew / should tri-
umph."
Miss Flirtte-"Of course meant my
consent TO go. y Chicago Jommat..
OF PARAMOUNT NECESSITY.
MIR. Uncertain-''You keep a private
yacht, don't you, Dubious?"
Mr.. Dubions-''Ch, yes"
Mr. Uncertain-"Well, next to money,
what is the most important adjunct nee
essary to the maintenance of craft Of
that kinda"
MIR. Dubious-''C Credit. "-Epoch.
PAINTED BEAUTY
Hc-''I got letter from Cousin Tom
to-day. He says he is engaged to Mollie
Jennings. OF course he paints his fu-
ture bride in glowing colors and all that
sort of thing"
She-''So far rs that is concerned,
NIollie is pretty expert at painting her.
self in glowing cc!ors. - erre Haute En-
press.
AFTER MANY YEARS.
Old PROFESSIONALLY, Mr. Barkns,
glad to see you, Pm sure. How time
does fly! Why, it seems to he only II
few years ago that 1 gave you n sound
thrashing."
Barkins-''I remember it. I've al
ways wanted to get even with You for
that. Have n cigar, won't you?"-Nan-
seyS Weekly.
VERY PRIGID.
"Been having trouble9" asked one
travelling man of another. .;5t%-
..ss.Some."
''Gir gone back on you?"
''No, but her father has"
DISMISSED you in summary manner.
Eh?'
In lntr In
chant 1rarcler.
SIZE LOVED TO GRoAN.
Aunt Mary-"What a cold hearted
world this is I was so sick all night
and not q soul in the house came to see
what was the matter with me-"
Ella-"That's not it at all, auntie;
we all heard your groauing, and we
hadn't the heart to interrupt you. We
know how you do enjoy good groan-
: ing, you know. Boston Transcript.
VERY TRUE.
Teacher-"All things which Gan be
seen through are called transparent
Fanny, mention something which is
TRANSPARENT"
Fanny-'A pane Of glass"
Teacher = "Quite correct. Now,
Fanny, mention some other object
through which you can see."
Farny-"A keyhole. - Texas Sittings.
vENTURED A sURMIsE.
"Susie," said Willie to his sister,
stwhat are Blackfeet Indiaus2"
"What are whatan
"Blackfeet Indians
al don't know, I'm sure" said Susie,
''what the expression can mean, unless