davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington critic., 1890-05-01
WHY NOT AMBASSADORS

The proposal to make our Ministers
at the courts of the five great powers of
Europe Ambassadors, if it should be
carried into effect, will please the
functionaries now filling those orna-
MeDtal positions and will do no injury
TO t" Diplomatic Service. Indeel
is ifficult to form a conception of the
thing which could by any poss ibility
hurt that service. 1t was somewhat
strained in the Keiley.Austrian em.
broglio, and relations were suspended
for some time. Yet though, at that
time, all the quarters Of the heavens
were searched with powerful telescopes
fog indications of harm, not the slightest
atom was discovered.
1t seems that in the graded caste sys-
TEN of Europe the title of ambassador
carries with it an Importance, superiority
and privilege not accorded to the rank
ai minister Thus it sometimes hap
pens that the minister OF some insig-
nihcant government, through being
dubbed an ambassador, takes prece-
deBce of the representative of the
United States.
Except in ceremonial sort of way II
does not appear what this precedence
amounts to. 1t in no degree means that
rank can take the place of brains in the
settlement of Neutrality-suspicious.. It's
whole effect Is in a social way Our
Ministers in Europe, as at present ac-
credited, have to sit below the salt al
dinner, and have to look with a sense
Of envy and discontinue from the good
cheer, the abundant wine and the ex-
cellent wit of the lower end of the table
to the more stately, dignihed and duller
upper end.
II will occur to many Americans that
dining Is not the particular mission
with which a Minister of the United
States has been entrusted. Yet those
who know all the facts and have
studied the situation most closely de.
clare that they do not know what our
Ministers do in Eupope except 60 to
dinners and TO balls.
The fact Is that It Is Increasingly ap-
The Washington critic., 1890-05-01

parent that the whole diplomatic para
phernalia, method, outfit and theory,
are effete and ready to become obsolete.
What important negotiations have Min
isters ever conducted to q successful
finish? The valuable treaties which
have been concluded between this
country and foreign governments were,
almost without exception, arranged by
commissioners extemporized for the
occasion.
In truth, the diplomatic service in
its present shape is q relic Of the last
century. In the hundred years which
have just passed the greatest improve
meuts aud discoveries Of the worlds
history have been made. 1t would be
strange II the intercourse Of nations
should remain where it was, and should
show no sign of progress.
The ocean flyer and the oceanic
cable have changed all the conditions of
modern international life. The Govern
ment at Washington can now commuui-
cate with the Government of Lon Ion or
ST. Petersburg within an hour or less.
The need for the old system of instructed
representatives has disappeared or is
disappearing. The slow delivery of let
tiers is superseded. The Secretary Of
State of one country can speak directly
and as long as he pleases with the same
official Of another country.
Nevertheless, if they wish it, there is
no reason why, while they continue,
our ministers should not be ambassa-
dois. If an American minister wants
to be solemn he has as good right as
any other man As an ambassador he
can sit at the other end of the table
The Washington critic., 1890-05-01
VANQUISHRD.

She talked to him of Plato and of Tactus
and Cato; spoke of Hsop and Dio-
genes with tears In her blue eyes.
A ed him what he thought of Homer and
of Hesiod the roamer; how the jokes
of old IIierocles compared with Will
liam Nye's.
Her breath came short and scanty as she
dew along by Dante, but she pulled
herself together and she got her sec
ond wind;
She mentioned old man Chaucer, Milton's
wife, and did he boss her; and dwelt
on Burns and Byron and the dreadful
way they sinned
He sat quite mum, though frowning, till
she settled down on Browning; and
deeming she meant Peter, he said he
thought perhaps
She would like TO hear Of Ewing and what
Brother Ward was doing; recalci-
trant old Anson, and of Kelly's ten
der taps,
He could talk base ball, he stated, and
with eloqueuce related tue history
of every game down to the present
year.
And when his tale was ended, she said he
was just splendid. as she got down
upon her knees TO adore him as her
peer.
-Tom AQssoa IA New York sun
The Washington critic., 1890-05-01
A Eonr Hnndraa Dinnar

From the New York Convnerc,ai-A -Ad0srtissr.
At dinner given in this city re-
Gently to a detachment of the -Four
Hundred, marrow bones were served
as one of the courses, each bone being
tied with ribbon held in place by an
enameled pin with diamond in the
centre. In consequence of such costly
presents, every one is willing to go
down on his marrow bones to get in
vited to these gift entertainments.
The Washington critic., 1890-05-01
AMusBMENrs.
The Boston symphony Orchestra.

The Boston symphony Orchestra.
The final concert of the Boston Sym
phony series was given last night at
Lincoln Hall in the presence of such an
audience as only this unrivaled organ
izalioD can bring together, and in the
midst Of an universal regret that these
delightful performances must even
temporarily take their leave Of us. As
usual, IL was an audience that included
pretty much all the culture and distinc-
ton of Washing ton, and one which
hung with wrapt and breathless atten-
ton on The magic wand Of the inspired
leader till the final note of each move.
ment was the signal for tempest of
applause.
There was a May Day appropriate
ness in the selection of the opening num-
ber, Shumann's Spring Symphony"
No in B fiat, a work replete with the
bright ioyousness of the season and
expressive of the emotions OF the hap
piest period of the composers life. His
very thought and mood, and all the
radiant and buoyant grace of youth,
hope and fortunate love, the heart of
the man and the musician, are in these
fluent passages; the merry notes of
birds, the mellow undertone of brooks,
the happy signing of the amorous
breeze; and all these now speak and
sing as never before, except to him who
heard them in his heart, beneath the
witchery of this wonderful rendition.
II is this trait of vivid personal insight
and sympathy with the thought of the
composer that, perhaps, even more than
his powerful individuality of technical
Interpretation. distinguishes the leader
ship of Mr.. Nikisch from any other
with which wehave been familiar. II was
quite as manifest, though with differ
ence, in the minor orchestral numbers
as in the symphony; the unearthly,
eerie and ghoulish "Danse Macabre''
Of Saint Saens, as wonderful work of
symphonic description as ever haunted
the brain of genius, and the Rubinstein
bal Costume" suite, with its magni6-
cent finale in the I0redd0re movement,
which, as conducted by Mr., Nikisch, is
O veritable elective storm of hitherto
unheard of harmonic effects and was a
fitting climax TO a concert of unequalled
orchestral excellence.
OF the soloists of the evening, Nine.
Steinbach,Jahns impressed the audi
ence as the possessor of an artistic
method and a dramatic soprano of con.
siderable range and volume, though
| lacking somewhat in sympathetic
| quality, which was heard TO better ad.
vantage in the "Tannhaeuser"' aria
than in the subsequent songs with
piano by Schumann, Nikisch and Gold.
mark. Mr.. Leo Schulz, one of the
many solo eirtuoS0s of this wonderful
band, was heard in Eckerts Concerto
for Violoncello" ina minor, work
possessing an 1nddate movement of at
especial and appealing beauty, which
was rendered with depth and purity
of tone and a sincerity of sentiment pc
culiarly effective.
The orchestra will be heard to-ngh
with the Choral Society in Dudley
Bucks masterpiece. "The Light o
ASIA under the personal leadership o
the composer, and then we shall regret
fully bid them farewell, with an ap
pended "Guf loiedersehn," and the hope
that their return may be no further dis
tant than the earliest date at their dis
| pOsal
The Washington critic., 1890-05-01
WIN Avoid yirginia.

FFOW We N6U F0TN Press. n
Mrs. Alice Smell, ,McCrea, who alb
Quoted Douglass Green and carried hun
off to Europe, is said to be coming home
to explain that she didn't mean any Of
Tense by 1t. AS she contracted biga-
nous marriage with him in Virginia it
may be well for her to keep out Of that
State until 1t is decided whether or not
her explanation really explains.
The Washington critic., 1890-05-01
pepew superstitlous.
Chdlincey DepeaU.

AS to sitting down with thirteen at
table, that is one thing ! would not do.
But respect the superstition, not be-
cause ] am superstitious, but because
do not want to feel uncomfortable.
Three times in my life have been one
pf dinner party of thirteen. On each
occasion one passed the joke to another
@at he or she would be the victim, In
every instance one Of the guests died
within the year. So, in my experience,
the truth of the adage was proved.
The Washington critic., 1890-05-01

We are offering the fol-
lowing exceptionally fine
values at exceedingly low
prices:
Danish Cloths, in a va
riety OF attractive shades,
half wool, only I2Hc per
yard.
Challies, in a hundred or
so OF attractive designs,
only lSc per yard.
Half-wool Striped Cash
mere, In all the leading
shades, only 25c per yard.
3S-inch Wool Suiting, in
grays and browns, only 25c
per yard.
24-inch Fancy Stripe Mo-
hair, in most attractive pat
terms, striped in delicate
tints and most exquisite pat
ters woven in over the
stripes; a very dressy fab
ric; only SAC per yard.
Melaner's Dress Goods,
only $50 per yard.
Large and elegant assort-
ment of All-wool Suitings,
only 37Hc per yard.
34-inch Mohair, in all the
leading shades, only 4oc per
yard.
Second floor
The Washington critic., 1890-05-01
THE PETTY HuMORIsTS

OF all the bores who weary men
And rouse them unto anger,
Worse than book agents. worse than they
Who shout their wares in streets all day,
Worse than the bells which call to pray
Men with their morning clangor-
Worse than the worst of these by far
Is he who whistles in car.
The poet who, in liquid rhyme,
The "merry whistler praises,
would he were condemned to ride
A half-hour prisoner by his side,
While discord from his punched lips glide,
And saw mems anguished faces;
He'd write, I'll take my oath, no more
Sweet sonnets to tn internal bore.
Chicago Times.
Hello, Jack, where are you living
now 2"
II am boarding with widow lady
on Madison avenue. Where are you
liviDg?"
"Oh, I'm the guest of a widower
gentleman, with two daughter ladies and
one son gentleman--same avenue. -
Life.
II can always tell when my husband
has been drinking" said young wife.
"Yes?" said another young wife.
Eyes, know il the moment he
kisses me-"
II can also tell when my husband
has been drinking" said the other.
Yes?
Eyes. When he doesn't kiss me. -
Chicago Herald
A miss yclept Susan Van Duzen 49,
For partner red man was choosin';
She married full
Kin of old Sitting Bull,
And thereafter she wrote her name Sioux
--Yoakers Gazette.
Gilroy-Whom would you name il
asked to designate the master of Ameri-
can fiction?
Larkin (unhesitatingly) = General
| Greely. .-Neao York Sun.
The Washington critic., 1890-05-01
A Low-Priced vocalist,
From the Scranton Truth.

FROM Nt ScT0ittOh mum.
In the absense of an opportunity to
hear "the divine Patti" at advanced
iates, the song of the robin is not to be
sneezed ut these sunny mornings. The
robin is generous as well as a sweet
singer, and does not believe in ''robbin"
the public for the privilege of listening
to his liquid notes.
The Washington critic., 1890-05-01
--------------d % -
An Effect of Civilization.

From tie Phitadelphia Press.
Sitting Bull tells his fellow Sioux
that it Is beneath the dignity of the
noble red man to toll for living, and
that he should leave the squaws to do
the work for him. 1t is evident that
civilization has made a profound i'm
preston upon this gay and festive old
cut.throat.
The Washington critic., 1890-05-01
Rather Vulgar

Fi0m tie NtaO York Tribune.
Ser ator Vest pulled down his waist
coat on Monday and made speech
against the Worlds Fair in general and
Chicago in particular. st. Louis, no
doubt, thinks the performance was very
funny, but the rest of the country must
think II was rather vulgar
The Washington critic., 1890-05-01
Queer Uncle jerry.

FTOW ne 81. L0uts Rfpu0Fc.
Uncle Rusk is shocked at the compe-
tition of American farmers with $40,
O00.0G0 worth of indigo, iute butts,
block tin and essential oils produced
by the ryots of India" but he thinks
that $150,0O0, 900 or so in pensions is a
mere bagatelle they can afford to pay
every year without winking,
The Washington critic., 1890-05-01
A SIlyer WarehonAa
From AZ PANadelnhin Tlln.

From Me PhUddeiDhia Times.
When the silver men turn the Govern
ment into silver warehousing concern
and the farmers get as much as the
silver men ask the trainers of the Con-
stitution will be justified in resurrecting
themselves just to speak their minds
about such a distortion of their handi-
vporlx
The Washington critic., 1890-05-01
A Small Man in a Large Place.

hIpW We b"VWO rum
Mr.. Harrison has been long enough
in Office for the people to take measure
of him, and the verdict seems to be that
he is small man in large place. His
own party is freest in expressing opin
ions of his calibre,
The Washington critic., 1890-05-01

a VERY INTERESTING recent visitor
to the Capital was Robert G. Winthrop.
He went 10 the top Of the Washington
Monument, at the founding of which
he delivered the Grafton Congress
man Lodge took him over to the Senate
Chamber. The old gentleman said to
the doorkeeper: "oh, yes, ! have the
The Washington critic., 1890-05-01
The villa ANA woolly East.

From the Ne'o York Herald.
Sometimes we hear of a festive cow
boy tiischarging his gun into passen.
ger coach on railroad in the far West,
but to hear that the windows of a Ninth
avenue "L'' car are perforated with
three bullet holes offers food for refec-
ton and matter for police investigation,
The Washington critic., 1890-05-01
A Tender- Heartea Customsr.
From CAntter.

ooh, the poor little lamb" said a
tendtr-beaited lady at the butchers.
Il hate to order the meat and think IN
helping TO destroy the little creatures. +"
81 can send 'em around alive, ma am,
If YOU say So" said the butcher.
The Washington critic., 1890-05-01

Eom no oinelnnaa Enqplrer.

FIONt IHo JtHttNNutt EHYNtFtF,
If the mummy of Cleopatra exists,
and if, as alleged, it is to be brought
to the United States for exhibition, then
we shall see how utterly mistaken
Shakespeare was in declaring that age
could not witber her nor custom stale
her infinite variety.
The Washington critic., 1890-05-01
A Sad Fact

Louisville CORyte1- Journal.
1t is really very sad that an Admins
tration that ascribes its existence TO
the special providence of God should
have formed so many entangling
alliances with the Prince of Darkness
that is dare not hold unfaithful public
officers to an account of their misdeeds.
The Washington critic., 1890-05-01
A Clarion Uall.
From tie Baltimore Hefdld.

rum bfc h"tft"'Vfe iAff"t"'
Rev T. Dewitt Talmage, it is re-
ported, has received call from Chicago
which he may accept. 1t is remarkable
how loud and clear ministerial call Is
when it ends with some such little
clause as "We'll give you $50, ,000"
The Washington critic., 1890-05-01
WATCHES.
M. ". GAIT BRO. 4 CO.
lIO7 Pennsylvania Ave-.

lIO7 7PennsylvaniaA Ave-.
Call attention to MeiY stock
of Watches, eomb'rlsing oI
the mast desirable M00eUaentS
and styles effeasimg, from the
Lowest Price for aohseh a re-
liable taaue-keebey can be
bought to the mast ekbensiye,
E These aOatcheS bear sou,e
firm name and are 1ully
guaranteed.
s~ american w a Ith q M
Watches Of all grades.
The Washington critic., 1890-05-01
The OnlY Reqnlslles

From the PliiqdAphia Times.
1t used to be supposed that legisla-
ton was the work of the House and
Senate. Now il requires caucus and
Speaker Reed to get a bill passed.
The Washington critic., 1890-05-01

privilege of the floor. was Senator
once, but probably before your time.
/ am also an ex Speaker Of the House"
Mr.. Winthrop was Senator from Massa-
chusetts, to fill the unexpired term Of
Daniel Webster.
THE COTTON PLANT has developed
new and unexpected capacities. The
cloth made from its down clothes mil
lions Of people, the seed from the
plant furnishes valuable oil and meal
and now an ingenious Southerner has
secured patents in all European coun-
tries, also in Canada, Mexico, India and
South America, for the conversion of
the cotton stalk into strong fibre equal
IN quality to the bagging made from
jute. This bagging can be sold as cheap
as iute bagging and will probably take
its place.
THE FREE COINAGE of silver scheme
has received its worst blow from the re-
port Of the Director of the Mint, who
SAYS that the whole silver product OF
the country last year amounted to
$4,000, 900 ounces, worth $40, 750, 900 in
gold and $G4 ,646, 4s4 in standard silver
dollars. This disparity in values should
awaken the interest of all men capable
of understanding the question.
En- CONGRESSMAN w. l.. ScoTT is
trying buttermilk for dyspepsia The
performance is of this order. The but
termilk, in a pan, is set in hot water,
1t Is then brought to the boiling point,
but not allowed to boil. The heavy
part is then SKINNED off. The whey
is set aside to COOL Mr.. Scott says that
after you get used to 1t, you will like 1t
better than champagne. 1t has a de-
liciously acid taste.
LATTERLY THE QUESTION has been
eravely discussed whether there would
be any surplus left to appropriate.
President Harrison has in some measure
restored public confidence by vetoing
the bill providing for the erection of a
public building at Dallas, Texas.
A ST. LOUIS PAPER, remarking on
the fact that the mine owners of the
West do not get all they want, states
that they want the earth, but intimates
that they should be content with the
bowels of it.
The REV DIR. DExTER's opinion
that daily journals will by and by be
religious journals, encourages us to
hope that in the general progress of
things religious journals will become
Christian.
THE Iowa MEN who are in the habi
of saying Here's looking at you" are
of the opinion that the Supreme Cour
tecision is quencher.
THERE is a suspicion that the silve
scheme proposed by Western mel
should be properly denominat I'd buy
metallism.
EDITOR HAWTHORNE of Florida, b,
one OF two strokes of his pen, raiset
| him self to national reputation
The Washington critic., 1890-05-01
A CA j
FROM
Mr.. T. E. ROESSLE.
PROPRIETOR OF
The Arlington.
THE ARLINGTON"
WASHINGTON, d. c.,
March 6, 1890.

My DEAR DIR. LIGHTHILL:
1t gives me great pleasure to state
that you effected remarkable cure OF
deafness and discharge from the ears In
the case of my cousin, Marcus @.
Roessle, and that the cure has proved as
permanent as 1t was radical. l feel sure
that without your skillful aid my cousin
would have been deaf man all his
life. Knowing of other cases in which
you have been equally successful, l
cheerfully give you leave to refer to me
at any time, and hope that your prac-
.tice in. Washington will prove distin-
guished success.
Yours, truly, 7. E. RoEssLE.
The Washington critic., 1890-05-01
HEOLIEN.

Your visit to see this instrument will be es
teemed favor, and we assure you that it
will be both pleasant and profitable. With
an Aeolian in your house you can enjoy a
Wagner, Italian or Light Opera wheneve
you feel so disposed.
TO his large line of frst.class Pianos an
Organs, including the makes Of stenway
Chase, Gabler, Briggs, etc
The Washington critic., 1890-05-01
That
Tired Feeling

Prevails with its most enervating and dis
oouraging effect in spring and early summer,
when the days grow warmer and the toning
effect of the cold air is gone, Hoods Sarsa-
parilla.speedily overcomes that tired feel
ing" whether caused by change of climate,
season or life, by overwork or Illness and inn
parts that feeling of strength and self.confi
dence which is comforting and satisfying. 1t
also cures sick headache biliousness, indi-
gestion and dyspepsia.
Nervous Headache
early last spring l was very much run
down, had nervous headache, felt miserable
and all that twas very much benefited by
Hoods Sarsaparilla and recommend II TO my
friends, Minis. j. NJ, TAYLOR, 1l10 Euclid
avenue, Cleveland, o.
II have fora long time been using Hoods
Sarsaparilla, and, believe me would not be
without it. AS a spring medicine it is inval-
liable. "-E A. RHODES, 1870 ontario street,
Chicago, I'll.
The Washington critic., 1890-05-01
EDUCATIONAL.
CHE NORWOOD INSTITUTE.

FJ1HE NORWOOD INSTITUTE.
E1tract .fropi private letter.
to good school for yonr daughter j can
with confidence recommend Mr.. and Mrs.
Cabell's Norwood Institute, in Washington.
d. G. Tbs standard of scholarship there lie
high, the instruction thorough and the infu-
ences good. L. Q. G. LAMAR,
Justice U. s. Supreme Court"
The school opens Sept. 30. au2Sd&stf
The Washington critic., 1890-05-01

THE Iowa MEN who are in the habit
of saying Here's looking at you" are
of the opinion that the Supreme Court
Cecision is quencher.
The Washington critic., 1890-05-01
Expeotant Europe.

fTUHl ne FiItsONfU U1SDQtcN.
The day on which the dainty figure
of Queen Victoria is to be seen within
the uniform Of colonel of Prussian
guards is approaching. All Europe is
awaiting the awful sight with remark
able composme.
The great Bonanza mines Of Nevada are
less noted than DR. BULBS Cough Syrup.
Our citizens are delighted with Salvation
Oh, They neYer had as good o pain-remedy.
The Washington critic., 1890-05-01

A ST. LouIs PAPER, remarking on
the fact that the mine owners of the
West do not get all they want, states
that they want the earth, but intimates
that they should be content with the
bowels of 1t.
The Washington critic., 1890-05-01

THERE Is a suspicion that the silver
scheme proposed by Western men
should be properly denominat.d ID buy
metallism.
The Washington critic., 1890-05-01

of Mellin's Food is the multitude of
healthy, active children who have been
reared upon it. 1t has been thoroughly
and successfully tried for years by thou
sands of mothers,
The Washington critic., 1890-05-01

LATTERLY THE QUESTION has been
eravely discussed whether there would
be any surplus left to appropriate
President Harrison has in some measure
restored public confidence by vetoing
the bill providing for the erection of a
public building at Dallas, Texas.
The Washington critic., 1890-05-01

The Rev. DIR. DExTER's opinion
that daily journals will by and by be
religious journals, encourages us to
hope that in the general progress of
things religious journals will become
Christian.
The Washington critic., 1890-05-01

EDITOR HAWTHORNE of Florida, by
one OF two strokes of his pen, raised
him self to a national reputation.
The Washington critic., 1890-05-01

Gilroy-Whom would you name il
asked to designate the master of Ameri-
can fiction?
Larkin (unhesitatingly)- General
7 Greely.-Neao York Sun.