Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1890-05-31
THE FAT MANS VICTORY.

The street-Car was full, with a dozen
or more persons standing up and holding
to the straps. Among the latter was the
woman with three toy balloons on
string. which hobbed around in light
and airy fashion.
a fat man standing just behind the
woman became involved with the bal
looms One or the other of them would
bob around and hit him on the nose,
averaging about Il knocks a minute.
To the passengers no looked on there
seemed to be some system in the attack.
The balloons would come at the fat man
in single file. If he lodged the first the
second was pretty sure to land on his
nose If he succeeded in lodging both
the first and second it was a sure bet that
the third would reach his nose with ter
rife effect, as we say in prize-ring
circles.
Sometimes the balloons would advance
on the fat man three abreast, forming
solid front that he could not escape, and
on several occasions it was observed that,
while the center one hit him on the nose,
the two comprising the right and left
fianks would deploy suddenly and bang
him on either ear.
The fat man put up his dukes, and, al
though in guarding his face he displayed
considerable science, yet it was soon evil
dent that he was getting the worst of it.
But fate isn't as unkind to a fat man as
sometimes appears. So, as if following
the suggestion of some sweet spirit, he
took his knife from his pocket, opened
blade. felt tpnderly of its point, and
seemed satisfied. Despair fled from the
fat mans face and hope hung its rainbow
there instead. He looked twenty years
younger than he did ten minutes before.
He fixed the most aggressive of the
balloons with his glittering eye, and with
the knife poised between thumb and fin
ger waited for an attack Emboldened by
recent victories the balloon bobbed
nearer and nearer the fat mans nose.
That was now showing plainly the effect
of repeated assaults.
a carful of passengers watched tho
outcome with breathless interest.
The fat man had himself well in hand,
AMI when the balloon came near enough
he made a dexterous thrust with his
knife-blade and, 10! the usefulness Of
that balloon was ruined in an instant.
A moment before it was pulled up with
an air of Joy and gladness, and life for it
had rosy glow. 1t danced on the end
of its string like thing that knew no
sorrow, and now where was it? There
was puff of escaping air, a gasping for
breath, wrinkling as of sudden old age,
letting go of all the things of this life,
complete and utter collapsed shriv-
| eled. shrunken bit of red rubber hanging
to string, and that was all.
The fat man had stabbed it in a vital
/ spot.
The woman chung to the strap, nor
rocked of the tragedy behind her.
The fat man stood up proud and erect,
as gladiator who had just rammed his
brawny arm down the lions throat and
turned the beast inside out.
There was lull in the battle, as if to
give the two balloons time to bury their
dead, and hostiities were renewed. 1t
| was plain that the two surviving balloons
We're suddenly seized with the spirit of
red revenge. While the victor's smile
still illumined the fat mans face and
made more rubicund his nose, one of the
| balloons danced up his way and gave
him bat on the ear. He reached out
for it with his right and missed, and the
other one fetched him one on the nose.
The fat man felt again of his knife
| blade and smiled. The second balloon
danced near, fell back again, rose to the
full length of its string, quivered in the
air moment as if about to spring upon
its victim, and
he L-pifa tbrr1,o,b t11n oi, nd
| another balloon went to join that silent
majority of one.
The fat mans face broadened to a foot
and the woman still chung to the strap.
The one remaining balloon had more
room and made the most of it. 1t felt
that the day might still be won by he
roic effort, and hit the fat man fifteen or
sixteen times with rapidity that sur
prised the spectators. 1t would swipe
him first on one side and then on the
other In trying to guard both ears he
would leave his nose exposed and suffer
by it. The jolly red balloon was as hap
ply as a harvest moon and danced around
as if it felt it would knock stars out of
the sky.
The fat man was serene. Once more
/ he 1elt OF his tfuSty knlIe Dldue ana
smiled the same smile we have seen be-
fore. The balloon was lowering around
waiting for an opening. The fat man
made feint as if to butt the balloon
with his head, and when the balloon
thought it was about to land safely on
the fat mans ear, it felt a sharp pain in
its side, and, presto three limp and life
less things were all that were left of three
red and riOtous balloons.
The woman turned to signal the con-
ductor to stop the Car, but saw them not.
She swept the car with anxious eye from
side to side and from end to end. She
looked at the fat man. but he was gazing
out of the car window and elsewhere.
At last the woman caught sight of the
CHASTITY wreck of her three balloons. She
gazed upon the limp ruins with deep dis
gust for a time, and then said:
"When thievin' storekeeper sells me
rotten balloons that won't hold together
till can get them home, I'll take it out
of his dog-skin or l don't want a cent.
A typewriter will has been declared