The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1890-04-10
SOCIAL ETIQUETTE.
George ". Childs on the Formalities
of Dining and Dinner Giving.


ested listeners when discoursing on
the etiquette of dining and dinner
giving than Mr.. George w. Childs, of
Philadelphia, the fame of whose ele.
CANT hospitality to the highest nota-
bilfties ofsforeign countries, as well as
to the most distinguished Of his own
countrymen, is world wide. His opin-
ions, as gathered in conversation,
have lately been reported in Good
housekeeping, and from them the fol-
lowing points are cleaned
There are evident reasons why invi-
tations to a dinner party should be ac-
cepted or declined, if possible, on the
very day they are received, as this will
enable the host to invite others in the
place OF those who may decline.
On the evening in question the
guests should make it a point of honor
to be punctual. No dilatory person
should be waited for more than ten or
fifteen minutes.
Before the gentlemen leave their
dressing room the servant in charge
gives to each an envelope containing
a card, on which is written, under his
W name, that of the lady whom he
is to escort to the table. At the door
of the ladies' dressing room he meets
the lady who has accompanied him to
the house and both descend to the
drawing room. In passing down the
staircase the gentleman either takes
the side next the balustrade or pre-
cedes the lady. Gentlemen do not
now wear gloves, but full dress is
always considered necessary, the only
variation being if the gentleman is in
mourning he wears a black instead of
a white necktie.
Meanwhile host and hostess wait
near the door of the drawing room
in order to welcome the coming
guests. In entering this room or the
dining room the lady may take either
the left arm of her escort OF the right,
though to me it seems natural that
upon most occasions the left arm
should qe given to a lady.
1t is frequently necessary to intro
duce a gentleman to the lady whom
he is to escort to the table and, at
small dinner parties, the envelope
containing the names of those who
are to sit side by side is omitted. In
that case a word from the host to each
gentleman is sufficient.
The custom of roof introductions,"
as they are termed, has been insti-
tuted in this country, but to my mind
they are an inadequate species of hos
pitality. There is no reason why all
who assemble at the same time and
place should not know each other.
Intimacy is another and a different
thing; but Christian courtesy teaches
that introductions are incumbent on
those who would entertain at their
best. Why do we invite people to
homes? Surely, to give them
pleasure. And what pleasure can it
be to with a fellow guest
concerning whose name, tastes, habits
and interests we may possibly know
nothing?
When dinner is announced by the
butler to the host, that gentleman
eads the way to the dining room, in
ompany with the most notable or the
eldest lady present, the rear being
brought up by the hostess, on the
arm of the most prominent gentle
man. 1t goes without saving that
host and hostess sit opposite each
other in the centre or at the end of
the table, with the honored guests at
the right of each.
Menus are out of date except at
large dinners. Two or three copies
of the menu, written or porcelain tab
let's, are sometimes passed from hand
to hand.
There has been introduced afashion
which gives quite a variety to the en-
tertainment. When the dinner is
partly over, and during the removal
of the plates of any special course, at
a signal from the host any gentleman
may change his seat with another,
either near him or at a little distance.
This breaks up monotony and pro-
notes social converse.
Ladies and gentlemen withdraw
from the table together, or, as is often
the case, the gentlemen arise and the
ladies retire, leaving the gentlemen to
smoke. Guests are expected to leave
by or before eleven o'clock.