The Bennington banner. [volume] (Bennington, Vt.) 1858-1894, 1890-05-01
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THE FLATYIILE RAGE

In every small community there is t.
be found one person who is singled on
by his fellow men as the butt of Jokes, o.
one nature or another. Sometimes it i,
a half-witted fellow who imagines him
self bright; sometimes it is a very con
ceited individual whose vanity is PLAYED
upon; and at other times, and in othel
places, it may be man of ability OF
worth, who has weakness or shows un
usual feeling when guyed. Flatyille was
no exception to the rule. 1t was town
just large enough, so that every one
knew everybody's business. 1t had it,
practical jokers, and it also had its spec
ial victim of its many jokes.
Captain jackson wasn't devoid of aver.
age intellect, nor was he at all conceited
He was one of the jolliest largest-hearted
men in town, and his hospitality was
known throughout the whole county.
But he Away took joke in such good
nature that the jokers kept at him with
the main purpose Of seeing how long suf-
fering he would be, and incidentally to
get no end of sport out of the practical
Jokes.
Captain Jackson was man of consid-
cradle wealth, which he had inherited
and as he was a bachelor, with no one
dependent upon him, the jokers felt no
qualms of conscience when their little
Jokes resulted in the captain being forced
to put his hand down into his pocket for
some loose cash.
At one time party of his acquaint-
ances laid a plot calculated to fairly up-
set the jolly bachelor. They concocted a
formidable legal document which had
the appearance of a genuine suit for
breach of promise, and as the clerk of
court was one of the jokers it was placed
in his hands. A deputy sheriff was in
duced to take the paper and wait on the
captain, and notify him that suit had
been entered. But the Joke didn't
brighten the captain at all. After the
sheriff had read the document the cap
tain Strengthened up and said:
We'll, well. don't know the woman,
but If she thinks enough of me to place
the loss at ten thousand dollars 1.-THE sum
mentioned in the papers, why, drat it
III marry. her, and you can tell her, and
that'll end the case.'
This disappointment didn't put a
quietus on the jokers, however. The
captain was forgetful and one day he
left his gold headed cane at the office of
a lawyer. The lawyer saw chance for
joke, and the next day, meeting the
captain on the street, he quietly intimat-
ed that party of young men were plan
ming surprise for him, to come off in a
couple of days, and that the present was
already selected.
Capt. Jackson smiled and ordered a
spread for the appointed night. When
the night came, the lawyer and a number
of choice spirits waited upon the captain,
One Of the party made a long-winded
speech and presented him on behalf of
his associates, with a gold headed cane.
The captain responded and invited the
party to visit the dining room. Here
they found grand spread, and this was
followed by champagne and cigars. The
next morning, in looking at his present,
the captain recognized it as the identical
cane for which he had hunted the house
over during the week previous. He took
the joke in good part, and did not let the
jokers know that he had discovered the
trick.
The captain had one hobby, and that
was horses. He attended every race for
miles around, and always succeeded in
losing money on the result. He would
get tips" and bet on the strength of
them, only to find the horse on which
his money was place bringing up the
rear He bought every horse warranted
to beat the fastest in the town, and
each purchase against the
cracks. He always found that the war
rant was worthless, and the horse would
be sold for half what he cost the captain.
OF course the jokers had hand in these
horse sales, and reaped golden harvests
out of the private bets with the sanguine
owner.
Capt. Jackson lived on the old estate.
outside of the center. The woods on the
estate furnished the best hunting ground
to be found in the whole country. The
captain was fond of the sport, and al
though he was generous to fault man
must be valued friend 10 get permits
sion to gun in the Jackson woods.
One day in September stranger came
lp the road TO the great house, leading a
horse which was SO lame that It could
hardly walk. Capt Jackson was at the
gate, Just ready to start with his dogs for
Ito trrO1Ia