Morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven [Conn.]) 1848-1894, 1890-09-01
ALL OUT.

Young Whipper-I would like to have
your daughter for my wife. Old Snapper
Indeed; and what does your wife want
of her.-Puck.
Sailor, who has been n railroad conduc-
tor all his life, on his arrival at New York
after his first voyage: "Americai All out
here!'-Fliegende Blatter.
Tramp see that you advertise tickets
at reduced rates. Railroad agent-Yes,
sir. Tramp-Well, / am reduced down to
nothing and want ticket to Chicago at
that rate. Light.
Pastor-My friend, are you prepared to
die.
Sick man (confidentially)-w 1 should
think l was. I've got 500, 900 life in
surance.-Washingto Star.
Bertha (while bathingl-o, Lou, 1 wonder
if there are any man-eating sharks in the
water. Lou (who has been pining for weeks
for masculine societyl-If there are they'll
have to starye to death.-Chicago Evening
Post.
The summer hotel keeper who advertised
that there would be notables at his hotel,
swore pretty hard at the proofreader when
he was asked next day if his guests We're
expected to eat off the fioor.-Birmingha
Republican.
cuc ShSA
since my engagement to Charles the whole
world seems different. / do not seem to
be in dull, prosaic New Jersey, but in
.Laplandf' suggested the small BROTHER
New York Sun.
s'Need help again, do You, Uncle
Ebony. Well, here's dollar. l presume
you find it difficult to keep the wolf from
the door" Uncle Ebony-'.I amt 'fraid
no wolves, sab, keeps fo' dogs. New
Orleans Picayune.
Stern father of the girl saw You kiss
my daughter as passed the parlor whil'
ago and l want you to know l don't like
it.
Young man (smacking his lipsl- you ma,
not, but do.-Epoch.
Young Mr.. Lummix-I am sorry yo,
are not as happy as you were, Miss Ran
som. Miss Ransom-Why, just now sait
/ was as happy as the day is long. "That'
what alluded to. The days are growing
you know."-Chicago Inter-ocean.
Minister am going to call on Mr.
Hitler. How do you think l could in
duce him to come to churchi Minister
wife-I don't know, unless you could in
duce his next door neighbor to play tn
cornet on Sunday mornings.-Light.
Arabella-And SO you have been on
| I1OW KNOW 5
little about fishing. Tell me what sort O
a rod do you use for baitl Walton-Well
they have what they call ..forty rod,
which is considered pretty fair.-Americs
Reverend Primrose-What, a fshpol.
My son, hope you are not going out O
the river to fish on Sunday. Urchin-Ne
stree; you bet l amt. I've heard o. boy
getting drowned who went out on the rive
to fish on Sunday. I'm goin' to fish froI
the bank-Chatter.
Annie-What's de matter, Jimmy; whs
are yer cryin's fora Jimmie-Me brudder
, dead. Boo-hool Boo-hool Annie-Wh,
he died suddent, didn't hei Jimmie-Ye
he went onto picnic an eat too much p
r an sandwiches, an it kilt him. Boo-ho,
: Boo-hoo, Boo-hool Annie-Well, don
a cry, Jimmie; JUS think wot lovely deaf
he died; pie an sandwiches, ohl-Life.
An unearthly racket disturbed the col
ference of the police authorities. "0f
cer," said the chief, sharply, to the ms
+ nearest to the door, Ego out and tell tho
s hoodlums if they don't quit blowing the
4 fish-horns when thew start on a picn
they'll get into trouble" The officer WEI
Q out, but came back almost immedi0el
: 'sIt isn't hoodlums' picnic" he sal
}. ''It's tally-ho coach. Chicago Times.