Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-04-06

not repay this loan which I have requested?'
''There was quick chorus of oh, by no
means, nv dear SIR which l think was en-.
tirely owing to my sombrero, for my appear
ance without head covering can scarcely be
called fierce. Then I said with laugh:
"Your surprising reluctance in this matter
reminds me of an incident down in Texas
And then told him one of my very best
Rio Grande chestnuts, which I have repub-
lished with great success not less than 20
times They didn't appear to like it at first,
but at its conclusion the fattest man of the
lot, a perfect Cheeryble brother in appear
ance, burst out laughing and said: Take a
seat, SIR and when had done SO, he in
quired in the most jovial manner. who are
you, sir?'
'In answer gave him one of my cards.
They all looked at it and the tat director
said: why, bless my heart, you are the
gentleman who has all those placards on our
buses. Tell us another of those stories.' 1
pledge you my word of honor those four old
cocks kept me there for more than one hour
reeiing off the biggest Texan whoppers
knew, while in the dim distance of the door
way saw my friend and his wife and the
purple funkey standing in dumb amaze
ment, and not daring to move an inch for
ward.
A LITTLE MORE COLD WATER.
"But finally said: Gentlemen, I am
glad to have entertained you, but what
about that little bill I want discounted,
that's what 1 dropped in for as was pass
ing by Then the face of the Chairman be-
came grave again as he said: We'll, my
dear sir, you know we must observe the
regular forms in such affairs. You submit
the paper and in the course of couple of
weeks there will be report made upon it,
7 h. sofoa
to you.' I looked very much disappointed
and answered: But, my dear sirs, L can't
wait for any such period of time. 1 must
have the money now.
cat this point, Mr.. CHEEKY yble-for so
must call him-beckoned me to one side
and whispered to me: My dear sir, those
are famously clever stories of yours; now, OF
course, we never can deviate from the regu-
lar form required in such financial matters,
but will tell you what I will do on my
personal account and from my own pocket;
tomorrow the directors, including all of US
who are here, will lunch in this room at
1890 o'clock. 1 will also invite some other
personal friends to meet you, and if you will
give me the honor of your presence and will
not consider it an affront, if should sug-
gest that we will be delighted to hear some
of those remarkable Texan tales, 1 will loan
you $500 before we separate tomorrow, and
you can return it to me when you get back
to America.
TOO GOOD FOR ENGLAND.
"Cheeryble's generosity was almost too
much for me. / didn't need a penny OF
course, and this suggestion of the loan had
only come to me when I had reached the
baize-covered table. and was almost sorry
had INDUCED in the joke when that beam
ing-faced big-hearted Englishman offered to
relieve wha. he believed to be my financial
embarrassment. AS grasped his hand,
said to him: IF you ever come to America
you will never be allowed to return to En-
gland; you are too good for this country
left him, promising to return in the morn
ing: -,
purple funkey standing i'll a damp circle of
his own perspiration. When l attempted
the banker would not listen to it. but ap-
peared to think that the greatest honor of
his life had been conferred upon him when
his guest had been permitted to sit for more
than one hour and converse with the direct
ors of the great Bank of England. 1 sup
pose l should have returned the next day
and seen the thing through, but when 1
thought of Cheeryble's honest face and
generous offer 1 did not have the heart to do
SO, fearing that his phlegmatic brethren
might not be able to thoroughly appreciate
a bit of American humor. This incident
is absolutely true, and unless this narration
of it comes to their eyes those four gray
haired Englishmen are still wondering why |
that queer-hatted Texan never returned to
receive the $500 which were offered him."
Knox swears to this story, and so will |
not express an opinion as to its truthful |
ness. LOUIS N. MEGARGEE. |