The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1890-03-29

iUuctltDtl. OIktIt ANICAb1s
The squirrel seeks warmer climb
by going 10 the sunny side Of a tree.
An engagement is delicate thing.
You cant drop one without hreakins.
The man with "a strong mind who Is
asked TO mind the baby generally
doesn't mind it,
The true humorist never smiles
that is. unless somebody else pays for
it.
ID j. not well for IA stranger TO 20
alone 10 b mix whea he wishes TO get
10 an.
The Washington Star thinks it is
love and liquor that makes the world
go round"
After the proposal And do you love
him. child? Lore him, mamma? I've
seen his bunk book.
While the true American does not
believe ia "A king he will bet his Inst
cent on four OF them.
The less pale OF lovers have 10
say, when sitting up o nights, tho
longer IL takes them TO say IL.
Two Of the wealthiest men ia The
west are said 10 have been messenger
boys. II pays 10 20 slow, after all,
People who are perpetually preach
ing that honesty is the best policy do
not always keep their policies paid up.
line plot thickens.' as Fogg re-
marked when he sank ankle deep In
the mud on the site OF his late kitchen
garden.
Teacher: james had sixteen up
plies and ate fifteen" Small boy in mem
tai arithmetic; How in thunder did
he do its'i
Dignity is good thing; but II
you're In the rear OF II biz crowd. and
wish 10 sec the procession. don't stand
on IT, Get on n barrel. Puck
An item on etiquette says: ,'Do not
smack your lips at the dinner table.
IL might have added that IT is not de
rlgueur TO smack other peoples lips
there, either.
Little Miss Fanny: II say. Bob.
can you tell me what "A widower isPN
Master Bob Gagged 81; Don't know.
Fanny. unless it's the husband OF n
widow. Judge.
Minister Go choir LEADER II see
you have dispensed with Mr.. Deep
tones services" Choir leader-"Yes.
sir; thought "A change OF base desir-
able. " Plttsburg Chronicle
Prisoner at the ,r." said a North
Dakota Judge. your offense deserves
TO be punished by the state with Il
term OF ten years in prison. but as the
state is very hard up at present will
give YOU only five years
An American editor incautiously
signed his name TO typewriter testl-
monial, la which he says: Your type
writer is a splendid companion for
busy editor The decree for divorce
has not been granted, but IL Is pending.
Boss-''This makes the third day
now that you haven't shined my
shoes" Gully Oars no blackin' in
de house. sab why didr't you tell
me beforePn .'Bekase | was afreed
you mout buy box. Texas Siftings.
Mean business man Seems To me
you take "a good while for lunch.
You've been gone an hour and half.
and yet restaurants are ms thick
as hops about here. Poorl y-paid
clerk / was hunting foe place
within my means. New York Weekly.
The pcacemaker: Don't you know
IL is very wrong To fight, little boyP
What does the good book say?n Tom
my (who has just polished of the class
bully): dunno / amt read it no
further than David an Gerlire"-
Puck.
Little sister: MA wants you. Sam
my. Where have you beenpn sammy:
'Fishin'.N Little sister Ibid you
catch anythingg' Sammy (sadly);
''Nothin't all. )" Little sister (reassur-
ingly); "Oh, but you will when you
get home"
Landlord Sir. | To YOU come, no.
ticc 10 give. that you have not me paid
for six months "A penny. or that not
a word will say. but you are 10 my
wife love-making. and that must inn
mediately TO an end come next month";
German Wit
One day Ernest had been seriously
lectured by his mother, and finally
sent 10 the yard TO find a switch with
which hes was To be punished. He re-
tuned soon and said: "a couldn't find
any switch. mamma; but here's stone
you may throw at me-
Sunday school teacher-"Now tell
me what the Epistes are2n First
scholar 81 dunno" Second scholar
--"l does Teacher "Well, John
NY. what are the EpistlcspN Second
scholar The EpistIes are the wives
OF the Apostles America
Anxious Wife Doctor. how IS my
husbandP Doctor--lle will come
around all right What he needs now
Is quiet have here couple OF OPT
ates When shall give them TO
himp Give them TO him? They
are for you, madame. Your husband
naeds rest