davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1890-11-15
NO PLACE T OR HIM.
why q Kentucky Dsr,sy Did Not Mako N
Home In Chicago.

why n Kentucky Dsrisy Did Not Mako Hls
Home In Chicago.
An old negro called upon prominent
Chicago lawyer, Il has come." said he.
''ter AK you or few p'ihts, Gaze Thas jest
mubed frum de Sonf ter dis place Gaze
Mr.. Vim he say dat ef come up yers
he would see dat not suthin' ter do.
fur uster be or boy wild him er laung
time ergo down in kaintuck wen he
want or big man eT tall, but er slim
feller dat everybody called Tom, so
thought I'd come an has come, fur
got tired o. dat place down dar Gaze dar
amt nathin' fur or po man in dat coun-
try lessen he's got plenty o. money, an
dat's whut l didn't hab plenty o. nohow,
fur wuz allus er mighty ham ter spen'
money wen | had it an wen didn't
hab 1t / allus hankered after goin' in
debt"
"Well. what do you want with me2"
the lawyer asked, locking in astonish.
ment at the negro.
"Yas, sab, is comih ter dat Now,
as I says, doan know nushin' bout de
rules an regerlations o. dis country.
Gaze has jest come yere, an has foun'
IL necessary tor AK er few p'ints erbout
'vorcs. Do dc law yerd say dat er pusson
halter take out papers wen he wanter
quit his wife?"
well, q man can simply quit his wife
any time he pleases. but II he hopes TO
marry again he must get divorce"
"Yes. know dat, but l didn't know
how 1t wuz wild or mans step wife"
"His what?" exciai ned the lawyer.
''Step-wife, sah."
"What do you mean by step-wife7"
"W'y. sab, de lady Is libin' wild now
In my step-wife."
slow do you make that out9'
IVY. IL wuz diser way: Good while
ergo maird down in Kaintuck. Libed
wid my wife bout Il teen year an she
tuck an died, she did. Wall. bout four
year ergo ] maird db presen' lady.
has one boy. de chile o. my fust wife.
an my presen' lady ~ his step-mudder.
ain't she?"
''of course"
"wall. den, why ain't she my step
wife2 She's de boys secon mudder an
is my secon' wife"
''She Is just As much your wife as the
frst one was"
"Den would halter git or 'vorce
frum her jest like sh D wuE de fust lady
eber did mair?s
Certainly"
'Wail. gimme de paper."
"What paper?"
''W'y. de 'vorce paper"
81 can't give 1t to you. ! can bring
suit for divorce, however"
"Ali right fetch II
upon what groands2"
81 doan know whut groun's. Didn't
know halter say nothin' erbout
groun's. doan want de lady 10 longer.
an dat settle 1t wild me"
THAT may be. bu IL won't settle IL
with the law"
"Whut's dis Law way up here kers
erbont me wen has been libin' all my
Life way down In Kaintuck7s'
Got so much 10 dc with you that ID
will send you 10 the penitentiary IL
you marry again without getting q d.
sorce."
'Look yere. Is da OF a penytsnohy mp
ysre, too 2"
Yes, two OF them.
Huh, Of dst's de case II amt eE good
fur me mp yere ez IL wus way down
yandar. care dAr ain't but ons down dsr.
wait or mint Does da put niggers in
ae psnytenchy up yet p
They do that very thing"
"nen rs gwine back, Gaze come
ysre cage gistin' soFter tired O. de pom
ytenchy down dsF. but II ds's got two w
we're, VIZ ais stn't Dc plsOs fpr mA v"
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1890-11-15

~ say, Jack, old man" remarked the Yale
sophomore. "deuced pretty girl, that one
with you yesterday Do me the honorf'
"Why, of course But see here, she's Miss
Concord. of Boston-goes in heavy for phi.
iosophy and that sort of thing. Rather
steep for you, chr
"oh, no. that's all right Wen get along.
I've got a lot Of bully gags on Plato and
Aristotle and those old buffers. Life
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1890-11-15

J. Bryan Grimes. of Pitt county, N. c..
had planted thirty-five acres in Irish po-
tatoes, and one night when he thought
there was going TO be frost to kill his
potatoes. which were twelve inches high.
he built log heaps about his field and
kept them burning during the night. and
next morning his potatoes were untouch-
cd by the frost
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1890-11-15

The scoring Of the bores Of modern
cannon by the new powders in use ID
claimed to be due TO the fact that upon
ignition all Of the powder Is not turned
to gas. some Of 1t remaining In n fluid
state. tits this latter which does the
scoring by being thrown with such force
against the metal of the gun that the re-
sulting action is very similar to that Of q
sand blast for cutting glass
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1890-11-15

A colored man named Joseph Saun-
ders was employed to dig well for q
farmer near Augusta. Me. The farmer
beat him down to half wages, but after
going ten feet down the digger struck q
jug with $3.50 in gold in 1t and took n
skip. The farmer then dug twenty-five
feet more. nearly broke his back, and
didn't hit anything but stones.-Detroit
Free Press
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1890-11-15

Summer Boarder- W hats that yellow stuff
you are feeding the chickensl
Farmer-Thats corn, mister.
"What Is this In this hinf'
''That's wheat
"Humphl What ara these other thingsT
"Rye, oats. barley-say, mister, what's
your business when at home in Chicagoi'
81 am grain speciilator. Omaha World
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1890-11-15

-Woman-'I want this room white.
washed, but ! dread the muss of 1t all.
Uncle Pete-''Guess you'se bad sum OBJ
desc here cheap whitewashers at wuk.
fse very 'tickular, ma'am. Use white
washed sum ob de finest fences in dc
city. Whitewash am too Expensive ter
spill 'roun' ON furniture. Epoch.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1890-11-15

-"What . wonderful painter Rubens
wasr' remarked Merritt at the art gal
1ery. Yea" assented Cora ut 10
said OF him he could change & laughing
face into sad one by single stroke. |"
"why," spoke up little Johnny. In dis
gust my school teacher can do that I"
--Iaafar
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1890-11-15

A travelling man for a certain New York
house was put on the witness stand In court
"Do you solemnly swear" said the clerk,
''that the evidence you shall give in the case
now on hearing shall be tho truth, the whole
truth, and nothing but the truthf
The witness hesitated, and then said; I've
been selling goods fof Blanks & Co for Eve
yeara-but I'll do my best. ~ Merchant Tray
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1890-11-15

Half teaspoonful of sugar will
nearly always revive dying FIRE, and.
unlike the few drops OF coal oil which
servants are so fond Of using and which
have caused so many sad accidents, Ia
perfectly safe.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1890-11-15

Il was claimed In the meetings attend
ing the celebration Of the fortysecond
anniversary Of modern Spiritualism re-
Gently that there are $1,000 Spiritualists
In Boston alone, many Of whom are scat
tered among the various churches.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1890-11-15

GSear the Ferry Doek.l - Dealer-Hsre's
your nice, fresh buttermilk; q great. big,
large glass only five cents.
Customer-ls it really freshi
"Yes, mum, just MIXED two hours ago.
Had to put ice in 1t, TO cool it."
Customer buys Detroit Free PresA
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1890-11-15

II Is said the law regulating child labor
In the factories of New York Is generally
observed The law prohibits the em-
ployment of children under 10 years Of
age, and limits the labor Of all minors to
sixty hours each week The measure
was not intended as hardship upon
employers
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1890-11-15

-Watercress Salad. Wash the cress
put in salad bowl. season with salt
and pepper. Mix half pint of vinegar
with two tablespoonfuls of cream OF
melted butter and pour over the cres&
Good Housekeeping.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1890-11-15
rHs korE ALONG THE SHORE.

Far on along the bay tndenfed coast,
Where hcsdl&nd after headland stretching far.
Marks the dim coast line fading. tiIl aimo~(
Il blends with cloud at The horizons hsr-
Slow creeping shorewari moaning evermors
The pulse of ocean beAls upon the shoru
A murznur deep. half silence and half sonx,
From sankcn lodges sleeping far away.
Arises, borne by trembling airs along.
tn all the world above the pslsing hsy
Is full Of voices whispering % me
The Eweetly solemn secrets Of the ssA
The over soul with listening souls below
Holds converse In the voice OF noisy waves
That moan along tho shore when Wild winds hloS
From realms Of silence over ocean caves
The INFINITE thus speaks 10 you and ma
a message. this deep music OF the sea-
Julian O. Cutter In Boston Transcripe
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1890-11-15

Husband contemplativelyI-Ho true il
Is, my dear, that the good that men do is oft
| inferred with their bones
| Wife mot contemplativelyl- ! s'pose
there's 80 little OF it that Ii isn't considered
worth saving New York Sun.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1890-11-15

The magistrates Of the courts of
0hent. Belgium. recently demanded In
creased enumeration. and backed theiz
claims with strike. The working1nen
cf tbs town enjoysd ths occsaion-
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1890-11-15
Two Good Things.

Proprietor-Have good dinner, sirf
Guest-Can't say did. but you have two
things on that bill as fine as anywhere in the
United States.
Proprietor tfiattered)-Ahl and they arei
Guest-The salt and the ice water.-Tima
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1890-11-15

For life by your side. my darling.
I would give up every tn ng possess--
parents. position. wealth--ail." "But
In that case what would there b left
tss mss"-flisgsnde Rlsttsh
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1890-11-15

'George," she said, at the races, .whAt 10
meant by true lover of horse racingF'
"a true lover OF horse racing" explained
George, ''is the man who can catch ten 70
sns-ohAnce. n-New York Sun
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1890-11-15

choiIy-Id hate awtully 70 get ints
say danger. I'm sure I'D lose my head
Mand-Do you think you'd miss it2--
BostoniAn.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1890-11-15

Tescher--what zone DO We tive in7
Boy lwho has an intampersts fstherl
MA says abe thinks we must live In
ne lnsempsFsss zpper -FeSas slffingA
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1890-12-20
roLsrol AND THE BEAR.
How tho Celebrated NovelIst's Presence
OF Mind Saved Ills Life.

An incident Is related about the cele-
brated writer Count TolStoi. which
nearly cost him his life. He went out
on bear hunt with some of his friends.
and. after selecting spot which COM
manded a good view OF the surround
ing grounds. some OF the more ex-
perienced hunters suggested that the
snow had better be tramplcd down so
that il would be easier for them TO
move about and get out of bruins way
and have time enough 10 take shot ut
him If he should come upon them un-
expcctedly.
The count however. although up TO
his waist in the snow. objected to this
aud said that IL was entirely un-
nece'.ai'y. since lne wnoie tnlL con-
sisted of shooting tho boar and not
wrestling with him.
They did not have 10 wait long. for
the bear. which had just risen from its
lair, was walking along to get out OF
the way OF tic hunters when it sud-
denly stepped out into the open space
directly in front OF Tolstoi
He coolly took aim aud fired. but the
ball. for some reason or other went
wide of its mark. Taking aim again
he fired. this time hitting the bear in
the head. and the bullet lodged In the
lower jaw and of course only made "a
very irritating wound, which made the
bear SO savage that. taking few
jumps, he was upon Tolstoi before he
was able TO realize II. just as the bear
came close enough 10 him he dropped
down, and of course the bear went
right over his body. Tolstoi's whole
body sunk into the deep snow. and. the
only part that remained exposed was
his head which the bear tackled rs
soon rs he had recovered from his sur
prise in seeing Tolstoi disappear so
suddenly.
Tolstoi did his best TO push his head
down as low as possible. and elevated
his fur cap for the bear TO bite. Twice
the savage animal snapped mt II. and
then. discovering his mistake. made IA
bite deeper down. this time taking
piece Of flesh from the counts right
cheek.
just ut this moment his comrades re-
turned, and by their loud wells sue
ceedod in driving away the bear. who
very slowly turned his back upon the
hunters and walked into the woods.
master OF the situation.
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1890-12-20

fitting and refurnishing the place"
lie has probably had the front door
painted. i remember that place. That 2
where we took n swig out OF the old
oaken bucket that hung la the we'll, and
got our mouths full OF pollywogs and
miasma. That's the place where they
dump chunk OF butterne into the
churn aud call you TO look at H. That's
where the children were laid up with
poison Ivy. The freshly laid eggs were
pulled from under n setting hen, and
that's where the beds are solid enough
10 do for meat block Oil let's 60
there, by all meansr'
Then let us go 10 some quiet farm Ia
New Hampshire or Vermont"
Where II IL SO confoundedly quiet
that you can hear your hair grow, but
where you acquire typhoid germs that
develop just about the time that you get
back home. All flesh Is said TO be grass.
but the meat you get there Is more like
baled hay. | can stand almost anything
short OF frozen rocks. but can't stand
the diet at the country farm house.
where the only thing You have after
dinucr Is the dyspepsia. That's where
you have to 60 nosing around hunting
for pump every time you want
drink That's where the table cloth is
principally useful as clrcumstaL tial evil
dencc Of there having been soft boiled
eggs for breakfast on some previous oc-
casion. Where you can listen TO the
festive bull.frog. aud where the fishing
facility consists principally in catching
suckers from the large cities. Now,
Marie. I've got u proposition to make"
We'll, Josiah. let us hear IL.
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1890-12-20

of sadness In It that plcases great
many. II was seized upon greedily by
the press and rccited Ia England by
Prince Albert al bean-bag conrer-
sazione just before his death.
Many. know. will at once say; II
you wrote Beautiful Snow" why do
YOU not write something equally goodP
My answer Is that can do 1t any time
when the conditions are right. and
some day. gentle reader. shall prove
II to you--if get hungry enough.
In closing. let me say that my home
is at Tompkinsvillc. Staten Island. N.
T.. and though am away most of the
year shall always be glad to see those
who were the sole authors OF this
beautiful poem. and II those who wrote
Beautiful Snow" will come one ut a
time to my villa they will find the most
cordial welcome and tho most pro-
nounced case of exposed latchstrlng
they ever saw. Yours truly.-BH
Nye, ga " J.. World.
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1890-12-20
Paid or In His own Coin.

A remarkable case OF diamond cut
diamond" occurred IN Boston recently
not far from the Providence railroad
station. A druggist had fitted Up a
neat corner store and had established
at once fine trade. One day another
druggist entered his store aud said:
II want 90 buy you out. How much
will YOU take?" Il do not want to
sell. was the reply. Il expected that
answer" said the cncroaching person.
land am prepared for il. Now. IL
yor don't sell out TO me- | will open a
drug store In opposition on the oppo-
site corner. How much will YOU take"
The druggist. offended at this species
Of brow beating. said he would sleep
on il and report the next morning. AT
the appointed hour the aspirant was IN
the store and large price was named.
The bargain was bound. The drug
gist who had been thus ousted from a
corner which he had fitted up with "A
view TO years of peace and profit.
sought the owners Of the opposite cor
ner which had been held out TO him as
n threat. secured from them long
lease. worked night aud day. and now
has IA drug store in which any COM
munity might take satisfaction aud
repose confidence. What IL more he
Is doing better business than he did
la the former locality. Boston Gdzctie.
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1890-12-20

rubbing against q saucor-faccd dude.
and where you can get snubbed ten
times a day by shoddy arlstocrscy.
That's the place where there are more
noisy children than doors In the corridor;
where the man In the next room on the
right snores. and the one on the left
walks mp aud down all night OIL let's
20 TO Saratoga aud drink stagnant water
favored with carbolic acid gas until our
liyers can't act any more than a society
actressi Let's go right nowr'
IL wish you would not try TO be so
sarcastic. Josiah. III YOU don't like
Saratoga we can go to some other sum
mer resort"
Certainly. Maria. by all means. Let
us 60 TO the Observation-Disclosures
dy House. In the backwoods Of Maine.
and starve TO death on canned vegetables
OF the vintage OF '73. while we feed our
selves slowly TO the mosquitoes aud
sand fles. III am 10 be eaten up alive
by wild animals I'd rather bride the
keeper 10 let me crawl into the tigers
cage in Central Park and put an eud TO
my sufferings at once"
The mosquitoes are not so bad as you
make out. We can go TO some seaside
resort. IL you prefer. Josiah"
81 suppose. Maria, you mean 10 Bar
Harbor. where you can find the harbor
blamed sight easier than you can the
bar. and where the only thing at the
dinner table that Is as good as what you
get in New York is the salt; where the
pies can knock out John L. Sullivan in
one round. That's the place to go TO
sec sorpenis. at ten dollars per serp. Do
Won aav Ilr HarhorY'
III you don't like seaside resorts. let
us 20 up into the White Mountains. to
the Daisy Dell House. I've got cir
cular In which the proprietor says he
has been 10 an enormous expense ia re-
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1890-12-20
Result OF Dropping an III"

She boarded green car No. 146. nj
the Ebbitt. bound west She was APP
purently woman of 80 years. AMI En-
glish. Put me of nc Ugh street" she
said TO tho conductor. Eyes EN-" he
replied with politencss indigenous to
the soil. Mcrrily the car rolled along
up Fourteenth. along ii and out Seven
tconth To /. when the conductor rang
the bell. Il street" he called. She
never moved. II street," he called
again. And she sat still. II street.
madam" lac said. coming forward aud
touching her ON the shoulder. Il said
Ugh street" she replied. In innocent
explanation. This is street." he
urged. But | want to 20 TO Ugh
street, she insisted. but this"
Then II struck him. ''Oh, excuse me,
num-" he said. backing out. And the
lady went on to Georgetown Wash
tHgtOn Star.
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1890-12-20

rvo boys Have . HAIR Rsising Experi-
ence with Redskins.


An old trapper tells this story OF early
Minnesota DAYS In Forest and Stream.
The man OF the Lake Talcott party
about this time came In also for team
10 move their outfit home. leaving the
two boys to take care OF things until his
return. A warm. muggy day came
while no was absent. and the boys at
tending to their traps and carrying their
guns around during tho day. got them
both wet. and. boylike. neglecting to
clean aud dry them, In order to render
them sure tire when needed. lay down TO
sleep In their bed without removing
their clothing, only drawing OH their
boots. Their cabin door opened out
ward, aud just ut daylight shortly after
they awoke. they observed their door
opening aud saw an Indian swing IL
around and set stick against II. and
then spring back and raise his gun along
side two others who stood with guus
presented. AT the first sight OF the In
dian the boys sprang from their bed. and
while I'm the act of throwing oil the
covering aud springing TO their feet the
sayares fired. The distance was not
over tiflcen feet Il afterwards examined
the ground carefully. and while II could
not again have been done in thousand
times trying without both being killed.
the only hurt either sustained was
flesh wound by small bullet through
the calf of one OF their legs. Selling
their guns. the boys AIMED and snapped.
but both guns failed TO go. Instantly
the thought OF running. while yet the
guns OF the Indians were empty, came 10
their minds, and with word 10 eacn
other they sprang through the low door
and rushed Tor the prairie. AS they did
so. one or more charges probably from
double barreled guns) greeted their rush
for the open air. and the unwoundss.
how. -. Eiykreirsck. had n h.,iet part
the hair aud Craze the skin OF the fore
head.
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1890-12-20

when ]. sit IN o. mornIn's fer TO light tho
Kitchen fire
An watch the bIaze go creepin' up the CHM
bly, higher and higher.
A-snappin' an' a-crackiin' with cxhileratin'
roar,
A-sendin out the uarmness clair acrost tho
luncheon floor,
An kneel down tn toast my shins an rub
my horny hands
An see tho sparks a-hashin' hack from
mothers shiny pans.
uy foelin's gUcs 10 warblin' Ike bluebird on
aspire
Whom YET up o. mornin's fer 20 light the
kitchen firc.
An thon the room rols good nm wnrm. tho
kettle starts 20 bilc
An mother potters down the stairs an STAINS
an yawns while.
An see, Now. pap, you go an rouse them
sleepy boys o. yours.
For It's snowin' an iho's lots to do besides tho
mornin chores"
An then she breshcs Up the hearth with that
old turkey-wing
An etoops an pulls her stockin's up an tics
cm with string.
An Towscr ynwns an stretches out an acts
litsle ehycr
When git az o. mornin's fer 20 light tho
Kitchen IRE.
An when tho boys como trompin' I'm an
scrougc around an spat
An KICK the dog an poke tho nro an SGT
down on the cat,
Tho coffcc-pot = billed over an the biscuit q
etcamin hot,
The snssidgcs lcst brown enough the break
fsst-tabe snt,
An mother SEE. Fetch up the cheers" an
pours the coffee out
My cup runs over with Joy the rest don't
know about:
Fer the bossin's OF the Lord TO mo 8 a-daIly
drawn higher
when get up o. mornin's fer to light tho
Kitchen IRE.
Edwin s. Hopkipe I'm Judoo
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1890-12-20

HAVE TO DRkss FOUR THINKS DAY.
"You really don't care TO live on stale
vegetables. salt pork aud beans. sleep on
boards and be bitten by insects. any
more than do. What you want Is not
TO forfeit the respect Of the neighbors
by going of during the summer. Have
the servants close the front blinds and
tell every body We are out OF town. We
will live In the back part OF the house.
aud cveyy few days we will run down to
Manhattan Beach, or up the Hudson. or
TO any OF the hundred places that are
within easy roach Of New York. which
Is good enough summer resort for me.
With dimes worth OF walnut juice We
will acquire tho regulation seaside tau,
and thus we will deceive oven the elect. :"
That. Josiah. Is the only reason |
wanted to get out OF town. We will
stay right here In New York and enjoy
ourselves. --licr r.. Street. IN Tsras SIT
lngs