New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1890-08-03
CTCUNBERS AND WILh.
4 COMBINATION OF WHICH THE WORLD
SEEMS AFRAID.
AN UNAPPRECIATED sOPoRIFIC AND AN Incl
DENT AT HARVARD.

The soporiGc quality Of the cucumber IS not ap-
preclaed because il j. not understood Inc cucuin'
her IS much malSncd. No relish is more mlStrnN,ed'
none produces s. alarming effect on the magma
ton The cucumber In combination with MIX j.
commonly regarded as sure death, yet the cu'u'hoo,
personal record is honorable ono. The wIler' WIN
has been characterized "A n cucumber hehd' picN''
there does not exist sufficient evidence - cDilV'' '''
most dlminuiyc cucumber that ever grew on a vine
Of the uudOng dolng-up of any person IN E"pu oi
III health II you cannot sleep those hot nights TRY
a cucumber r. insomnia /, the malady that wrinkles
the rttlc pouch under Your eve. try cucumber Have
il sliced thin and PIT on ice. apply phch o. Sdi''
come black pepper and drop or two 81 vinegar
Let hc process, Of dcrlu'itiol begin half an hour be
fore your usual bedtime and keep IL up TIL the IShtS
are ont \ glass Of cmorade and a cat q cora
chicken go we'll with H.. slcep comes with an over
powcr.ng rsh and claims yor before y0u recognize Us
rrcscncc II yen cannot rest after such supper It
f., the cold chicken. or the lemonade. or guilN
Coincidence. r. you sleep the sleep Of JUST HILL
made perfect. II IS IN" cucumber.
The cucumber "nerd7 has cucumbcr7 for break
fast luncheon dinner and supper when in season. i
rather late Tor prime cucuulcrS now. Inc '"u' '.'
beginning to get woody and hard. and consequently
irdlee,thc for those whom nature hath not c"do"c'
with ostrich ,'omaclis There ought to be RECON-
pcn,c somewhere for him who couvereth super
iitious man from the # his way. Ihe 'cuhU'r
lcud has had converting and dlvcrtIhg 'NP 'I'''|
IN tho last fortnight II occurred one morI'i"t a.
breakfast IN the OycrcrOwdcd dining groom "i ~"
yor, HOTEL H., had ordered sundrv dclirace'. among
them cucumber salad and a gla'' OF COW cream
This combination seemed 70 throw into small conVh
,ps nicely croomcd old gentleman. banker II books
..ur, for ANYTHING who sat on the opposite Sh' W
tie table 80 les, than three times did he maze III
.Crctual c:Y3lt 80 ~pcak - the h"ud. lie won"
,traight.u up. bend cracoI-ly forward I'LL MS WIS.,"
hone touched TIE edge Of the table, smile 'eTAp''aN
and part h, lip. but when rs eve III On u'o't
dclcl9us little cucumber wheels with pulp iho' anu
ccd smokes If, tongue cavc to the groncd arches Of
.,. root That sheltered IT, Ills politencsS bafe him
HON oule- Int curiosity drove him 10 utcrancr NJ
M ftcr thrc. fal.e starts, he got the flag AID raced
along in thi> fashion:
Nv dear sir know that II Is not consldcich i''i'o
p, talk. notice q what ones neighbor eats. but the
combination that you have ordered has excited my
curiosity 10 an uncoycrnahlc pitch hho" / 'aNo
the risk Of offending you by abiding 10 IT, yet u'iN
van Will pa.,ion me If I ask one question do You
r,..rd IN eat those cucumber, and drink that cream
fpr your br'skla-t''
orIy a brute could take offence at question go
pol,,cly put. IN, Hcud erlancd glaciou-N ana IN
cr,.1 ilc v.hre.whl-icrcd tanker n his sweetest
manner that be wa, indeed about TO dispose OF mat
awful combination ia the way referred TO-
ap,f,lon me- continued the curious old man. ON
10, me ASK aid ,ou ever try cucumbers and cream on
any previous occI>ohl'
4 hundred n thous sand times said tho hend'
.,nd did YOU never feel any IN elect from such
Gict -
Never ir nv rfe. l thrive on IT,
81. IT indeed possible ''
quite 49, I assure You To show That am not
joking. herr ro+''.' A.
Down went the cucumbcrs ard down went the
,r,..nl ~, bend licking his chops between bites ana
.WdilOWs.
Wen. n,-ar would have believed il If had not
,,~.n it, Par,ou me again. sir but let ne osb II you
Eel quite well now ~
81. ,r Lad - mar H. w dear sir am delighted
., have moi yog. You have relieved me- OF great
burden than a' been opli"- ny III" Ih .o' ear "a
nav" labO;,d u'd'r the SUPERSTITION uld' lUi,H any
irnler, fak"u together were lutal a. the bite oi
\ rlttlr.r,hc When AT Harvard. forty year
ern I had CHINA line. healthy, athlete youU y
,,,,,ly. lie na, ncVc" recovered and j, AZ this day
a hclpl,., invalid Ihc college physicians. aided by
tire host medical ana 'rrg'h PFl,uInco % . l>.p",
Investigated the ci>". but we've ana j. !" ufC.Nci 4
satisfactory cave" FOR - sudden 'itd :, IN Ky ir4v "a
physical condition. ~ lat thcN l,hfnci tlm' on tir
morning OF thai unhappy day D" hhd phItheh Htar'Il
- Tie combination tia. YOU have eaten before my very
cr,, and to that and that alone did they finally at
t3hu.c the ~frDl, that crippled him for lie. aSfrt
AIN Them what else could do and from that day 70
th'- nave Stunned cuoIml'r~ and milk A. "pud
shnu he rauL,st poison am relieved - mo" lhat
q, va, All ;upc~ttlon more relieved thah Won can
a, the nend arose from the tablc tne Old man ,okci
a y ne Lat cApected - SEQ nm dro2 Gc'd III 'l'
YC". flank Heaven. ! see You do. trust You
may ncycr feel any worse than son 90 now, A"I
cucuuII cI> and milk always give lOu s"'d "''Itl
Won't you try some
"Tnark Won no. / am too old - make the ~
pertinent now. The grave Is 80 near That do MOI
care TO hasten IL approach