Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-09-28

A Georgia editor wants to know where
the phrase, "Now is the time to subscribe"
ORIGINATED. And brother editor replies:
" In hard times. "--AAdista Constitution.
Hes cockney, that's what he is" said
Mr.. Newbred. what makes you think
go. Obadiah? ale said table d'hote in
stead of table de Hote. These cockneys
ALWAYS drop their Hs. Tell 'em IN q
minute" -The Epoch.
Theodore Moore lately won wager by
retaining astralght face while noted Joke
teller of London fred a dozen OF his most
irresistible stories at him. Ihis can't De
The Moore the Merrier we've heard SO much
about. philadelphia Ledger.
The suggestion that the most fitting
monument to Ericsson would be one of
our battle-ships named after him IS emil
nently fitting, provided that the ship does
not run into coal-fat or collide with q
mud-bar in the Potomac Washington
Star.
A Rhode Island man left all his money
about S40,000-to the Atrlcan-mlssionary
work and not cent TO his relatives, some
of whom were veryp poor. The will was con-
tested and broken, the law holding that
he must have been crazy when he wrote
it. A law which won't let man make q
fool of himself Is good law.-Detroa Free
Press.
Awayfarer in New ork having occasion
to use q cab one morning, requested the
driver TO take him to the Twenty-third
Street station ofthe Third Avenue Elevated
railway. "Th' Twinty- Thurd Sthrate sta
ton av the Thurd Avynoo is ut 2" Yes ),
"Just phere is thot?h AT the corner of
Tweuty-third street and Third avenue"
"Ah, Wis! OF remember now; oil was thayre
vance BEFORE. "-HG1per'S Magazine for Oc-
tobe'.
MARY, will you put your hand in mine
and walk with me down the stream OF
lfe?" asked q young man. whose confusion
showed in his metaphors, of Dwightville
girl. The latter is one of those practical,
common-sense women that we run across
once or 80 in lifetime, and she replied:
Never mind asking foolish questions,
Tom; Just say simply there's a chance for
me-" And somehow or other he felt the
answer completely filled the bill--Bing-
hQDlt0n Ledde1.
Whatever variety of selfshness clings to
human nature, the horse-car conductor Is
sure to have the opportunity of sampling
il sooner or later. One of them on the
West Springfield line asked certain cler-
gyman the other day if his large-sized boy
was seven years old, whereupon the domi-
ME waxed wrathy, and after handing outa
second ticket proceeded to read the con-
ductor lecture on the wickedness of ask
ing such questions, because they must of
necessity tempt people to lie.-Spr'nGied
Republican.
One Of q group of old-timers told story
the other day, of the :" early settlement"
II cannot remember the name of the man
who made the speech" said he, but it
was In the courtroom and in defence of a
man charged with drunkenness. Why,
gentlemen of the jury said he, a thing
that is habitual is certainly different
from q thing that happens sometimes.
Now. if ] get drunk sometimes, it does not
signify that am in the habit of getting
drunk. Why. the most distinguished law
yer in the Territory of Washington gets
drunk sometimes. but he is not in the
habit of getting drunk. There's big diff
ference just then an old lawyer over in
the other end of the courtroom arose, and
looking squarely at the man who was
pleading. said: You are mistaken. sir;
decidedly mistaken. / get little mellow
occasionally. but never get drunk. '"-Seat-
lie Journal