The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1890-01-11
THE ARIZONA KICKER.
Many Things That Make the Life of q
Western Editor Pleasant.

THANKS, GENTLEMEN.-On Monday
evening a committee of prominent citi-
zens waited on us and rendered us the
nomination for Lieutenant Governor of
this State, accompanied by such words
of praise and esteem as brought tears to
our eyes. While we had to decline the
nomination, owing to the pressure of
our private business, the spirit which
actuated those gentlemen will make a
better man of us. There is every thing
to encourage Western editor to git up
and hump himself like iack-rabbit
carrying sail before pack of coyotes,
and we wouldn't exchange our present
position with Mr.. Wanamaker if he
would throw in ten Sunday-schools to
boot.
THE JUDGE HAS GONE.-More than
three months ago the Kicker very kindly
but firmly informed Judge Gridley that
this wasn't the climate he was seeking
after, and once or twice since we have
courteously inquired why he didn't get
a movement on him. Last Saturday
night committee waited on the Judge.
1t had rope along, and the rope was
used to elevate the tardy traveller off
his feet several times. When let down
for good he had gargle for sore throat
put up at the nearest drug store and
then walked, 1t was hint not be dis
regarded, and he will now honor some
other town with his presence. He was
not subscriber to the Kicker.
CRoss-EYED SHooTING.-Last week we
advised that Piute Joe, who runs the
little doggery just beyond the post
office, be given two days time in which
to pack his traps and vacate the place.
We thought two days very liberal time.
but Joe differed with US, and encouraged
by that old sot, Steve Springer, he laid
for US in front of the Palace Hotel as we
went to dinner. The first thing we
knew Joe's bullets were flying all around
us, and he standing only six feet away.
! He blazed his six shots, wounding two
of our citizens, as reported elsewhere,
and then we took him by the neck and
broke him in two over a hitChing post.
We were entirely unarmcd, but we knew
Joe was cross-eyed and couldn't shoot
for shucks. The doctor says he will be
III Dtu lOE several WtchS, anu
be cripple for life. AS for Steve
Springer, we are looking for him, and
as soon as we can lay hands on his car
cass we will make him wish he had been
born skunk.
THAT'S ACCoRDING.-A subscriber in
Massachusetts writes to inquire if this
climate is good for asthma. That's ac-
cording. We have known men to come
here and get their breath withina week,
and others to lose it inside of three
days. A great deal depends on the
patient. If he comes here with his
mind made up to play our game, drink
our whisky and mix in with our society,
his asthma will soon leave him. If he
comes in the opposite spirit, some one
of our townsmen will very likely feel it
his solemn duty to give the weary suf-
| ferer rest.
NOT A BIT.-A friend of ours over at
Tombstone inquiries if the st. Paul,
Omaha and Denver papers do not cut
into our circulation. We answer, not in
the slightest. Some of them are taken
here for their African missionary news,
anu OLhtIo lOl IISAI hlS~lhSC duCDoOAOiAo
on coyote and RABBIT pelts, but they are
not considered as rivals in our field. The
Kicker not only enjoys field peculiarly
its own, but is backed by grocery, feed
store, hardware, butcher shop, harness
shop, shoe store and job printing office,
all under one roof and one grand man
agement-the only institution ofits kind
| in North America
Annie G."-This spondent wants
us to give her the author of the poem
beginning:
Il have loved thee many years, Mary,
And shall love thee till die"
1t was written by William Tell, a
Swiss gentleman whose principal bust
ness was shooting tyrants, but who had
moment to spare now and then for the
muse. We can go further and tell you
something else you do not know-Will-
lam is dead; yes, been dead quite little
time, and all requests for autographs
will be time thrown away. Mr.. Tell was a
law-abiding citizen, always closing his
saloon on holidays and Sundays, and as
far as we know he died happy and made
all arrangements to pay off his debts in
hard cash.-Detroit Free Press.