Sharp County record., 1890-06-12

TERRIBLE WEAPON.
to see, sad and wishful; so went back,
determining to demonstrate and Try to
break him of his infrmity.
When diligently, in calm, judi
cial manner-and told him he snored
horribly and must try to stop it, he
looked at me with a reproachful gaze OF
Indignation, surprise and grief. What
me| | could hardly convince him OF
his guilt-ho referred mo to his old
college chum. ASK him." said John;
never heard him complain, but if | do
breathe sort o heavy, why, just punch
me little or make me lie on my side"
took him at his word that night.
had almost dared to hope he would
sln;G~ quietly, but. of. course he didn't;
-, dftcr lh~oniftg aoouJ ten or
fifteen minutes, | said: 'John, you're
snoring turn over" Again that look
of reproach. 81 wasn't even asleep!
Haven't BEEN asleep since | lay down"
After that no captain of a naval ship
maneuyercd his craft with more diplo-
macy and care than did | my unfortu-
nate good man. Punching him under
the short spare rib did no good, for he
was naturally more irritable asleep than
when awake, and, waking with bound,
would demand: what dye do that
for? would sooner be hit a clip"
But | found by persistently and un.
tiringly rolling him over on his side |
sometimes caught enough sleep to keep
my reason from tottering on her throne.
Then Jonathan's mother came on
visit, and laid the matter before her.
"Why, is that SOP said she, with her
quiet ripple of a laugh. 81 never knew
Jonathan snorcd," But as she seemed
to take the matter as a joke don't
disturb her cQuanimity, but listen
while she reads delicious bits here and
thcrc from "Iliawatha.' After bit
look up and find her doing, and pres.
emily lost in midday nap, and soon a
familiar sound Is heard, but modified
slightly, and | know now who John
takes after!
| have always had a womans usual
timidity about burglars, and am still
more afraid Of a pistol Thinking we
should have some weapon Of defense,
my husband rcsurre ctcd an old slung.
shot "Billy" relicot his college days,
This he kept under his pillow One
night his snoring in0rmlty saved my
life, and | will tell you how
Twas Christmas times, and miucc pie
had figured largely at Johns supper. As
| had to lia awake lin consequence |
laughed as | watched him in the throcs
of terrible nightmare and could al,
most read his thoughts as he slept An
imaginative masked burglar Just sue.
cccds In picking the lock ldocp and agt
tated snorcs on Johns part) Now he
enters the kitchen and stands gloating
over our tinwaro IA groau and struggle
on my husbands part, and q horrible
snorO Now in Imagination, he sees
him sccroto stlycrwarc and wedding
presents In big coat pockets Clohn Is
grinding his tccth in blood.curdling
manncr), and, to my surprise, ono Of his
hands stcOlthily crocps under the pill
low grOSpS his slungshot "Bllly" At
this interesting iuncturc slip out OF
bed and stand by awaiting develop.
mcnts
WhOck whack, whock" goes tho
terrible weapon ou the pillow whore n
moment before lay my devoted head
and my husband wakes from his night.
marc to thank God he had not made
terrible mistake and destroyed his wife
instead Of the robbcr
Now II this keeps up he will certainly
be the death Of mo yet though have re.
placed that fearful "Billy' among HIS
bachelor relies and hung q horseshoe
over the wedding present and trust to
lock and kcya No wonder am grow.
Ing wcOkcrNnd thinner daily when
hear his nasal battle cry nightly
can't break him unless | kin him,
and he IL "thOt good In his cart" that
haven't the heart TO do that, but my
strength Is tagging, slowly but surely
Old Pink, In Detroit FREQ rross
| sa-.az--=---4sa
--Mending comes under tho head OF
-. - IA -