Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1890-09-24
TEA-TABLE SALAD.

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whether fog wasn't an air apparent
Washington Post.
The GOVERNOR Cup stairs =" Maria,
has the young man gone yet"'
Daughter-"He's clean gone. - Chico
go Tribune.
HoJAcK-'I didn't battle much in the
surf while I was at the seaside"
Passifer-"How was that? ~
| Hoiack-"Too many cold waves. .
Chicago Inter- Ocean.
'FWHAT do you suppose makes 1t rain
so much?'' asked Miss Wistful, artless-
'Doesn't seem as if anything makes
:" replied Mr.. CyniQue. cit seems to
rain easily enough itself. "-SCmerUiUe
! Journal.
STRANGER-"MayI ask what your pro-
fession is ?"
Minister-'I am a soldier i'll the army
of the Lord"
Stranger-''Just the man I've been
| looking for. | am a pension agent. y
Binqh0nton Leader.
| Mrs. BALDHEDE-"Why, Thomas, |
declare There are a lot of fine hairs
on top of your head. You are getting
it and you didn't say anything about
Baldhede (sadly)-"No, Matilda, |
wanted to give them chance to grow"
| = West Shore.
GUESS that Charley Flippins wants
to marry Gertrude" remarked one
young women to another.
"Why, he pays a great deal of atten-
ton to Hattie Smith"
81 know it; but he pays good deal
more to Gertrude's mother. = Hdshing-
tom Post
APPLICANT Ito proprietor of great
newspaper)- Have you vacancy on
your staff, sir?" Proprietor-'I need
a affidavit editor, but | don't
know that you would suit" Il think
e nu at Minneapolis "The
place is yours. "-Munsey's Weekly.
"ARE you afraid to die?' solemnly
asked the black-clad stranger of the lit
tie man who sat dangling his heels
against packing box in the grocery
store.
THE summer girl is quite passee
Since from the shore she's gone away.
The ice bill now makes no one frown,
And iceman's jokeswill
down
It's just between the seasons, when
The wits the modest OF men,
But with his grieying he'll not die
high.
are
For theater hats this
-Ne,o York Herald
The trouble with the milkman is that
he is not willing to let good enough
aione.-Hatchet.
WHETHER he is out of job or not
dentist is always looking for vacancy
that he can -Binghan,ton Republican,
A SMALL boy with drum can depress
the price of real estate in an otherwise
desirable neighborhood much more
than defective drain. = .SomerriLe
Journal.
REPoRTER-"What made them bury
that Black Street merchant in a grave
with the unknown dead for?" Editor
-"I suppose it was because he didn't
advertise. "-Kansas (IU.) Herald.
LUMM1x-" Dinwidddie used to call
his wife Birdie but he has quit it
now"
skimgullet- 'sNot entirely. I heard
him refer to her the other day as the
old hem
"YoU are beneath my notice. as the
landowner remarked when he found
the tramp asleep under the sign "No
Trespassing. Boston Transcript
JUDGE Prisoner, are you married ?"
Prisoner-"No, yer Honor, those
scratches on my face came from Stun
bling over a barbed-wire fence in the
dark. "-Teras SJtings.
SUMNER HOTEL GUEsT-"What shall [
have to pay for the entertainment ofmy
canary ?"
Clerk-"I will examine the birds bill
and see, ma am. burlington Free Press.
Il
events and love are all matters of
course Binghanoton Leader.
The crab may not be as good eating as
the lobster, but it does very we'll on
pinch.-Elmira Gazette.
We believe it is the railroad engineer
who whistles at his work. Yonkers
Statesman.
PsALMIsr-"Whv do the heather
rage?" Cvnic-"Probably because SO
little Of the money subscribed for their
conversion ever reaches them. "-NeW
York Herald.
$50 Col. Playton has all your mon
ey % said one congressman to another.
Eyes" GLOW did he get it" Gle
took it by fours. L was backing full
hand. > Washington Post.
AT dinner the Major asks the servant,
John, how many bottles of this fine
wine have we in the CELLAR" ''Three,
your honor" After dinner, John gets
good dressing down, with the com
mand always when there is company to
give better account of the wine cellar
Shortly after come more guests, and the
Major, sure of his ground, again puts
the question. John, how many bot
ties of this finest wine have we yet in
the CELLAR" to which John, certain
that he is right this time, promptly an
swers, t'Ten thousand bottles, your hon.
OF. "-Fiegende Bldter.
The Weather Wave Reservoir.