The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1890-08-20
LAWYER ALIENS FIRST VICTORY.


A Bad Case Made Good by Profound
Opinion from the Classics.
Private John Allen, or TTIssIssIppr,
who became the wit of the house of
representatives with the death of Sunset
Cox, tells a good story on himself Of how
he came to be o profound lawyer.
A party of members were telling yarns
In the cloak room Of the house, and when
Aliens turn came he told this one:
81 want to tell you of the greatest legal
victory of my life," said Allen, as he
lighted cigar and propped his feet
against the wall in true southern style.
sit was down in Tupelo during the trying
period just after the war. was at that
time practicing lawyer--that is, prac-
ticed whenever l had any cases to prac-
tice with. One day old Uncle Pompey.
one of the old negroes of the settlement,
came into my Office and said:
"Mars John, wants you to clar me.
Use gwine to be rested for stealins of two
hams out'en de cross road store
"'Well, Pompey,' 1 asked, did you
steal the hamsT
"'Mars John, just took 'em.'
"'Yas, boss said, the old negro dis.
consolately, two ole white buckra's.'
"'Well, Pompey,' replied, Il can't do
anything for you under the circum
stances
Now, Mars john said old Pompey,
here's ten dollars. I jist want you to
try
"Well, consented to try said Allen.
''The case was to be heard before an old
magistrate named johnson. He was
totally uneducated, and was moreover a
perfect dictator, and no negro ever came
before him who was not fined the maxi.
mum penalty and sent to his field to ex-
plate the crime in the sweat of his brow,
"The magistrate heard the case. Every
possible proof was brought to show that
Pompey stole the hams. There could bt
no doubt of 1t from the testimony. die
not put single question to any of the
all in arose, and in my most dignifed
manner addressed the magistrate:
May itplease your honor, 1t would be
useless for me to argue before one who
would adorn the superior IL not the SUI
preme court bench of this grand old
commonwealth. And may say that
those who know you best say that you
would grace even the supreme court OF
the United States, the highest tribunal
In the land. 1t will be useless to dwell
upon the testimony. You have heard it,
and know the case as well as do. How.
ever, It may not be out of order for me
to call your honor's attention to short
passage in the old English law, which
clearly decides this case, and which, fol
the moment, your honor may have for
gotten
"Then fished down in my pocket ant
drew forth, with great flourish, an ole
copy Of Julius Caesar opened it will
| great dignity to the first page and reat
| the line which is familiar to every school
boy, 'Omnia Gallia in parties tres divist
est That decides the case, said /
throwing the book upon the table. THAI
clearly acquits the defendant
with great dignity and solemnity
then took my scat. The old magistrate
was completely nonplused He looked
at me amoment quizzically and scratched
his head. Then, turning to Pompey, he
raised himself to his full height and
said:
'Pompey i know you stole them hams,
but by the ingenuity of your lawyer I've
got to let you go. Git out, said he, as he
planted his No. 0 In the seat of Pompey's
pants, and If you ever come here again,
lawyer or no lawyer, you will git SIX
months Atlanta Constitution.