Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1890-08-28
WIT AND HUM0R.

orleans Ftcdyune.
Even when IA man weighs his words
he often finds they have no weight
YOnkers Statesman.
The trouble is that the busy men are
% cross. and the loafers are so good
natured. -AtchiSon Globe.
The rule of taking a thing without
girL-Phttadeiphia Times.
1.-THE Dearest Spot on Earth" is Pat
It's Home, Sweet Home" Admission
t7.-Phitadetph,a Ledger.
How did Robinson happen to get
swampedPn "He got into the swim too
deep. "-Munsey'S Weekly.
When man cannot borrow anything
else distance will lend enchanlment TO
his view of others afiluence. ashland
Press.
First wrote for pay, and didn't get
1t. Then | wrote for glory" "And
didn't get it, You have had hard luck
-Harper'S Bazar.
Life is no longer a dream to a man
after the first time his wife sends him
10 the drug store for face powder
Ieyre Haute ETpresS.
Wibbe-" Isn't the word GROWER
london EXPRESSION" Wabble--"Cer-
tainly not. 1t is purely A-merry-cen."
--7erre Haute EgpreSs.
The maid who goes to the photo
grapher's with the query, 'Do | look
wellP" is always answered in the mega
tive. -Phttadelphia Press.
Wife-"If | were to die tonight. dar-
ling, what would you doP" Husband
$50 Telephone for the undertaken, 1
presume Washington Star
Employer We'll, Patrick which is
the bigger fool, you or I?' Patrick
Faith, couldn't say, sor, but it's not
mesilf, surely" Boston Badget
Mrs. Youn~ rife-'D,d you ever try
any of my biscuits, Judge?" Judge
mo. never did; but dare say they
deserve it, ToHberS Statesman.
Matchmaker - These works are
very rusty" Seedleigh-"W they
ought to be; that watch has been in
soak for six months. n-Boston Herald.
Young Brindle-'Pa. can't have a
flannel shirt like yoursP' Mr.. Brindle
(speaking from eXperience)-"My son,
YOU may have this after it's washed."-
LipptRcoWs
Sympathetic Housewife (to ragged
tramp Poor man, you garments
are sadly frayed.n Tramp-"Yes, in
deed, mum, 'iraid Of the dorg. "-tAlla-
deiphia Press.
Bobby-"Why do they have that big
lantern in front of the engine, papap"
Papa with memories of the pasD-
40 warn travelling actors, Bobby
Teas SytingS.
Il noticed as | came in, " said Harold.
with pleased look, that your father
has chained the dog" Yes, papa says
H. don't think you agree with him.
WASHINGTON Post.
Painter to the County Judge, who is
visiting his studio-"Now, this is my
first picture, What is your Judgment
on itPn Imprisonment for life only"
philadelphia Times.
Officer (before guard mounD -
Sootley-"O, there are lots of them.
Bargains in Hosiery was the nearest
to me in the store.'-Judge.
you do not believe in a fish diet, do
YOU, professor" "Certainly.n Then
why do you say in your book on
Health. DO not go into the water
after a hearty meal"-N. y, Sun,
Mrs. Slimpurse-"Anything new in
the paperm Mr., Slimpurse- -"N-o, ex-
cent that tho husband Of the woman
whose fine dresses you have been envy
ing has fled to Canada, IN, Y. Week
~
First Sweet Girl-"Just think The
Gar of Russia has throne that cost
100000 Second S. G. 49, Realty
Why, that is not half as much as papa
paid for his seat in the Senate. "-1egTe
Haate Express.
Dearest Laura, don't cry so! II
everything else vanishes we shall yet
have left to us memoryw "Ah, dearest
Emma, then perhaps YOU will remem
Der that | lent you So two years ago"
-FliegeRde Bldetter.
Tom Cassimere-"She's not beau
ty my boy, but think of the warmth of
affection she will lavish upon your
Will Calico-"Warmth of affection be
hangedl Im thinking of her cold cashw
Dry Goods Chronicle.
You say you stopped at the Skirate
Hotel all the time you We're awayp
Wasn't the bill pretty high for man of
your meausPn 30, not too high.
managed to jump it without much trou.
BILE. "-Ierre HaUte Express.
First Young Lady Cat railraod sta
tom time is it now, dear?"
Second Young Lady Cooking at her
watch)-"Mercy! We must begin say
ing good-by, dear. The train will be
here in half an hour. ~ Y. Weekly.
Hostetter McGinnis-.D You really
think that we are going to have real
spring weather nowPn, Gilhooly-"Ive
no doubt of it. | see the shadow of
the strawberry shortcake looms up no
bigger than mans hand m-leras
Sayings.
IL am striking a great social Gait"