davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-01-04
women SHOULD eg TAANKEuL.

That buttons are made to button.
That bonnets are not as high as they
wera,
That it is fashionable to be clean and
wholesome.
That the elderly man with a manner
Is not laughed at but respected.
That bustles and reeds are gone and
women can sit down comfortably.
That the woman who is the most quiet
Ia her manners and in her gowning is
best form.
That the man who has pleasant rather
than unkind opinions Of women is well
coined everywhere Philadelphia Times.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-01-04

Read the following: Mr.. G. H. Morris, New
rk. Ark, says; WAS down with abscess o
lungs, and friends and physicians pronounce,
ne an Incurable Consumptiye. Began takin
Or. Kings New Discovery for Consumption, al
ow on my third bottle, and able to oversee IL
work on my farm. 1t is the finest medicine eve
nade."
Jesse Mddlewart. Decatur, Ohio, says ''Ha.
not been for DR.. Kings New Discovery + o
assumption l would have died of Luni
IOubles. Was given up by doctors. Am nov
4 best Of health" Try 1t. Sample bottles fire.
It REBERS Drugstore.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-01-04
HAZE A rrINuTE, PLKAsE.

Though you were q Jay Gould or q
Vanderbilt, it is worth thirty seconds of
your time to learn that "Ideal " Tooth
Powder will preserve your teeth from
decay, and by so doing save dentists
bills and hours of agony from your old
enemy, the toothache. DR.. r. E. Gieb-
ner, Pa, says: "When 1 first began
using "Ideal" " Tooth Powder I could
not use brush on my teeth on account
of injuring the gums. Can now use as
stiff brush as obtainable with impun-
ity. 1t has also hardened the enamel Of
my teeth.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-01-04

An Englishman, who had been invited
to dine with Prince Kaunitz, had the
misfortune to upset glass of wine on
the table.
''Is that the custom in England?" in
quired a German princeling.
Not in the least abashed, the English
man replied:
"Not exactly; but when it does hap
pen nobody makes fuss about IT,
Daheim.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-01-04

MAKE No MIsTAKE.-If you have made
mp your mind to buy Hoods sarsalarill,
do not be induced to take any other
Hoods Sarsuparilla is peculiar combinu
ton, proportion and preparation, curariv,
power superior to any other article of th,
kind before the people. For al affection.
arising from impure blood or low state o
the system it is unequal cd. Be SIRE to ge
Hoods.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-01-04
She Misundersto, d.

Lady Ito tramp)-Are you going Off
You promised before l gave you your
dinner that you would saw some wood.
Tramp (from Boston)-Yes, madam;
but you err in assuming that the words
necessarily apply to your wood The re-
mark has reference to the woodpile of
another lady further up the road. Good
afternoon. Rochester Jury.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-01-04

Over 60 people were forced to leave theh
omes yesterday to call for free trial pack
age of Lanes Family Medicine. If yom
blood is bad, your live? and kidneys out Of
rider, if you are constipated and have head
lche and an unsightly complexion, don't fai
call on any druggist to-day for a free
,ample of this grand remedy. The ladie
praise it. Everyone likes it. Large sized
package 80 cents.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-01-04

"Jane. saw that policeman speak to
you. That's the third policeman I've
seen speaking to you this morning, l
can't allow that"
''No, ma'am. But the policemen al
ways do admire baby so-they can't 'elp
stoppin' and askin' about i'm. They ali
say as they never see such a fine childr'
Punch.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-01-04
Bucklen's Arnica salye,

The BEST salve in the world for cuts, bruises
ores, ulcers, salt rheum, fever sores, tettei
han Is, chilblains corns and all ski
1ruptiOns, and positively cures piles, or no pal
equired. 1t is guaranteed to give perfect salts
action, or money refunded. Price 25 cents pc
box. For sale by REBER druggist
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-01-04
Interestea People.

Advertising a patent medicine in the pc
aliar wav in which the proprietor o
Kemp's BaIsam for Coughs and Colds doe
indeei wonderful He authorizes al
Iruggists 10 give all those who call for it /;
ample bottle free, that they may try it b,
ore purchasing. The large bottles are 50'
md S1.00. We certainly would advise t
rial. / may save You from consumption.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-01-04
Gould not Keep

Shop without them. | consider your Sui
phur Bitters a remarkable blood purifier,
know of several people, whose cases wer,
considered hopeless, that have been en-.
tirely cured by your medicine. The sale OF
sulphur Bitters is so large here that /
could not keep shop without them. ES.
Yates, Pharmacist, so Essex street, LawI
enne. Mass
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-01-04
Alleged American Fun.

10 takes loud baby TO wake up q sleeping
car; but ~ takes but little Of Dr. Bulls BABY
syrup TO quiet that baby and it requires unl
'emedy.
The foneer the apology the "lively youup
man" makes for his morning headach e, a.,
worse matters Will appear silence and Lnxh|
dor are the sOvor eign remedies for this kind U
headache.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-01-04

He-You've got the paper, haven't
your Look at the account Of the foot
ball match and see if there was anything
remarkable about the game.
She (after an intervaD-Well. yes.
Nobody was killed. Exchange.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-01-04
Look to Your Heart.

Mrs. Chas. Greenwood. of indianapolis
had what the dotors CA led, asthma, bnI.
she got little relief until she took DIR Miles
New Cura, which soon made her ionl
winded, stopped the pain in chest, swelling
of ankles, cough, palpllation, etc. Sold al
Biery's and Thomas drug stores.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-01-04
bTo.t Anv Man wonld ne.

Wife (at church) THAT man in the
second pew is acting very strangely.
Do you thing he is crazy?
Husband--I wouldn't be at all sur
prised. my dear; see his collar button
has gone down his back.-New York
Gun
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-01-04

Make use of time W lie 1t is presen,
with you; it depends upon your will, ant
not upon the number of days, to have .
sufficient length of time.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-01-04

Nor take Cathartic Pills when your
bowels or liver are sluggish, They ar.
whips. But try once at least-Mi!es' Nerv,
and Liver Pills. They act through tn
nerves. Samples free at Biery or Thomas
drug store.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-01-04

Mrs. Jones (before the leopard's cage)
--Jerushy, Ezry, amt he an elegant
critter9
Mr.. Jones (critically)-Yes, but hain't
he dreEully freckled?-Lawrence Amer
ican.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-01-04
rwo vooEs


A ball last night Priscilla gave.
And en- were there, both saint and kuave
AMI girls. who yet untaught IN sighs,
Let laughter loose from lips and eyes;
Yet ], rriscilla's willing slave
Cared not for girl, nor saint, nor lmave,
But only For that moments space
When might look into her flce
And tell the love herself must know,
And listen to hor answer low
Led on by thought Of what's IN store,
The foremost guest / reached her door,
Was usaered in, and heard the voice
Was wont 10 make my heart rejoice;
But changed; In tones no longer low,
As was used that voice 10 know,
The frightened butler she upbraids,
Then turns, full cry, upon the maids.
The guests arrive, and as go.
hear again those accents low.
The curtains up and she's all smiles,
All loveliness and gentle wiles.
Too early once, but, thanks to fate,
For the peace Of lifetime not too late
r.. NJ. r. In Life.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-01-04

Fiancee (of wealthy but ugly MANI
Have you shaved2
"Yes,"
"Have you plenty of perfume on?'
"Yes,"
"No tobacco in your MOUTH"
"No."
"Well, then, you may kiss my poodle "
Pick Me Up.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-01-04

A Chicago clergyman says that only one
man out of hundred tells the trnth any
farther than he can make it benefit him.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-01-04

"Well, my man." said military doc
tor to a patient who had been on slow
diet" for a long time, show are your
"Mueh better, sir.
"Could you eat small chicken to-
day?"
"That could, SIR"
"What would you like it stuffed within
"Piease, your honor" replied the hun
CRY patient, 81 would like it stuffed with
another chicken. London Tid-Bits.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-01-04
A Designing Man.

Miss sSowah--There goes that designing
man, Mr.. Mildman Mall, across the street.
Miss Towah-DesigningI Why, have
always heard him spoken of in the high
est terms, never suspected him of
dnderhandedness.
Miss Sowah-I didn't mean that. He
is an artist.-National Weekly.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-01-04

Hope is the only good which is common
to all men; those who have nothing NOR,
pos ess hope still.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-01-04

Good luck appaeentl, hasn't desert
this country. Pennsylvania Youth hao
his neck broken in prize fight.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-01-04

The weather is coming when the minis
Ell who isn't wide awake cannot keep his
congregation from going to sleep.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-01-04
Preferred LIchter R.eadInr.

Canvasser-Will you want one of this
years directories2
Merchant-No. believe not.
Canvasser-Did you have last year'sf
Merchant-Yes; but don't care for it
What's the matter with it?
Merchant-Well, there are too many
characters and there isn't enough plot
America,
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-01-04
HoMELY PHILOSOPHY.

me ring Of coin is often the Enen Of
friendship.
Insinesgity is eftsa nistalson fsE lsah
q haas8lE.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-01-04

One half of the world dosen't know how
the other half lives. And it's just as well.
1t saves a great deal of gossip.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-01-04

Two soliloquies on a Turkish Sword.
THE CUSTOMER soLiLoouIzEs
Two hundred years have past at least
Since thou vert welded in the east
By some brave warrior oriental;
Yet still the thumbs experimental
Had better of thy blades be wary,
Sword of fierce old january.
Thy broad, fat blade Is set with gold
In arabesques, some artist old
Traced by a cunning evanescent-
An art that no one knows at present.
What tales wouldst tell Of combats CORY,
COuldst thou to me relate thy storyi
Perchance the sultan's own thou vert
Close TO his side forever girt.
Then, II his favorite Circassan
Deceived him, in a stress Of passion
MethinlSs see the blades precision
In working an avenging mission.
With edges twain, with keen point tipped,
For thrust or slash alike equipped,
think fancy thee in battle,
When steel on steel was wont to rattle,
When thou the prophets standard shielded
By some bold Turk with vigor welded.
Thy long task DER, q rest rewards.
Thy fate is that of all good swords
For antique bric-a-brac delightful
gladly proffer prices frightful
III use thee, sword of Moslem nations,
To open leaves Of publications.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-01-04
Always contract bad habits and ezpaot

IOOd ones.
Going the rounds-mounting ladder.
The mad dog scare which resu ted il
he almost total determination of dogs IL
Brdsboro, Berks county, has spread t.
Vomelsdorf and The animals are beini
allied by the score.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-01-04
A sound Legal s,Dinion

In the race of lie it isn't the fast mar
Who comes out ahead.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-01-04
rs CONsUMPTToN TNCURABLn?

House of Refuge-the home of you
,ife's father.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-01-04
THE. DEALER WRITES.

To Briggs & Co., New Haven, Conn:
On getting this, at once send on
Two dozen Turkish swords, style twenty;
For can sell them here in plenty.
Send promptly, when you get this letter;
And-say-the more antique the better.
America
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-01-04

Nothing is impossible to him who wills
unless he is a married man.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-01-04
eyl q

about the ieh part bulk grand double size tele
scope large carry We will also show you how you
can R y day at least from the starwith
out Better write at We all express charges
Address, H. HALLETr CO., Box $780, PORTLAND, NAME
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-01-04

America,
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-01-04

The choroistha is the last London
dance; from choros, dance, and oils
thanein, to glide.
The prison mirror. [volume] (Stillwater, Minn.) 1887-1894, 1890-03-13
SUNDAY Services.

Services conducted b. Rev. Father M. E.
Murphy. The following is a brief condensation of
his sermon which was upon the virtue of Hope:
They that hope in the Lord shall renew their
strength Faith is a divine virtue of man. To-
day we will speak of the divine virtue of hope.
We saw on former occasion that faith was the
basis of all supernatural life. The next is hope.
How must we worship God? We must worship
God by Faith Hope, and Charity. By the virtue
of hope we put God before US, and as good Chris
tans we must keep our minds constantly the
end of this life; whatever we may attain
in the various plans of this life is as naught if we
have not the hope of Immortality.
Dependency is a sin. All men are more or less
inclined to look upon the dark side of life. but if
you give way to such thoughts you are in danger.
Look at the greatest deeds that have ever been
accomplished. They would seem insurmountable.
but courage and hope brought them to a success.
full completion. The same is true in spir tual
life. If we rely on God in perfect confidence and
hope we will never be disappointed, for we have
the distinct assurance that will succeed no
matter what our trials or however grevous our
burdens may be. We may have failed hundred
times before but Gods grace will make US victo-
rious if we ask Him for aid
Now, the great sin of all is despair. Despair
cannot enter into the true Christians life for they
have an abiding faith and hope that their saliva
on is purchased, not by gold riches. but by the
atoning blood of Jesus Christ
There is another sin; it is that of presumption.
Presumption is hoping wrong grounds. You
attempt to do certa n things but you rely on your
own exert ons and not on the grace of God. 1t is
the great fault of the people of the present time
that they trust too much to the r own exertons.
They throw themselves in the midst of temptations
with confidence in Their own strength to resist
evil and when they find that they powerless to
rel eve themselves they expect God to bring them
out by some miracle. We should have abundant
confidence but that confidence should rest in God
and not in ourselves guilty of the sin of
presumption and sin against the virtue of hope
Let US, then. avoid temptation and look for hope
in the Lord Jesus Christ, and when tn short
earthly pilgrimage is ended will have that
blessed assurance of eternity of happiness
with God in heaven.
The prison mirror. [volume] (Stillwater, Minn.) 1887-1894, 1890-03-13
her and she was in great fright. 1t was one of
those strange freaks that children will take.

Last Sunday was one of the most profitable
days. intellectually we have 81 emit in the prison.
In the forenoon Father Murphy delivered a most
eloquent sermon on the virtue Of Hope. After
dinner We were called into the chapel again when
there were more sonorous sounds in the world
than the hum of buzz saws and the chug. chug of
trip hammers, and that there were pleasures in
lite far more worth striving for than the pleasures
of a merely animal existence. When the Major
had finished, Editor vandiver arose to round out
the occasion with variety of the spices of life.
So much good fortune rarely visits us in one day.
but when it does happen there is other class of
men who know better how to enjoy it than We do.
We thank all includ ng the officers of the prison
by whose will such things permitted to be.
The prison mirror. [volume] (Stillwater, Minn.) 1887-1894, 1890-03-13
DEGREES IN CRIME.

If you should steal million golden dollars in a
lump,
The people would regard you as a genius and
trump.
If you secure but half the pile. SHORTAGE that
would be,
Whereas a somewhat less amount would be
"lnsolvency.'
To steal tiny, paltry sum would give them the
belief
That you were dishonest man, robber and
thief.
But if you steal loaf of bread whereby your life
is saved,
They'll pull you into prison with the totally de-
PRAYED Chicago Herald.
The prison mirror. [volume] (Stillwater, Minn.) 1887-1894, 1890-03-13
LOCAL PICkINGS.

Tried after death-Lard.
Observation-Disclosures
-Homespun-Fr reside yarns.
Afterwards politician.
Everlasting The shoemaker.
How to catch lars-By their tales.
"A "steal" driller The safe breaker.
"A peace disturber-The alarm clock.
e. A. Stoker up from Winona last Friday.
I'VE have rafting t,mes," says the steam
pipes.
MIL. O. Busse and several friends
callers one day last week.
R r. Odell. U. S. Commissioner, was over
from Minneapolis Tuesday.
This week finds another Charlestown, Mass,
name added to our subscription list. Thanks,
boys.
-"Blaze away" wheezed the bellows to the
COAL then the coal fared up and made a hot re-
tort.
II am going to croak" said the bull-frog to
his mate as the shades of night fell upon the
pond.
Talking about eating it is just about ditto
with the convict. so far as next week is con-
cerned
Hon. R. B. Anderson, of Madison, Wis., was
around the prison yesterday with Deputy
Langum.
Drew Musser. of Muscatine. Iowa, and G. A.
weyerhausar Rock Island. ILL.,, VISITED set
Element yesterday.
The following young people were visitors last
Saturday: o. S. Nelson, Florence Benson, Helen
Stout and Cathryn Nelson.
w. W. williams Frank and A. Dezell and
Grover Truax. Hastings gentlemen, looked through
the prison one day last week.
THE MIRRORS to be sent away will be taken
up on Friday evenings hereafter. Be sure to have
them in the door by eight O'Clock.
&C. e. Foyberger and H. B. Davidson came
over from the State University last Monday to
view the ghts of this institution.
Mrs. Nj. E. Bailey, of Hastings, Mrs. Sam
Mcclure. city, and Mrs. N. o. Bates, of Taylors
Falls, called at the prison yesterday.
Statement of population. March 18th: Working
for Thresher Co., 17S; working for state, $50; sick
and infrm. IS. Total population, BAL.
Miss Serena Levy, of Minneapolis, and Mrs.
R. Rohrbach and daughter, of Saltwater looked
through this institution last Thursday.
Mr.. Z. ID. Stapels, MIS- D. o. Holen, OF Stlll'
water. and Miss Mary stapels, OF St. Paul, were
guests of DR.. and Mrs Reyes last Sunday.
sheriff Getman. of Dodge county brought in
one prisoner Monday who will take his hash on
tin dishes for the next two years and half
The prison library is indebted to the gener-
osity of Mr.. Peter Begg for three books
"Waverly"-"She.' and Harry Lorrequer.'
WIN. Blaisdell. of Minneapolis, visited this
institution day last week accompanied by
Misses ANA and Minnie Smith and Sadie Sly.
The law pares its nails before taking the rich
man in hand. but when it goes for poor man it
just spts on its hands and brings him up with
jerk.
The inmates of the hospital request that Mrs.
Alma A. Msener of Minneapolis be thanked
through these columns for the flowers sent them
last week.
The prison mirror. [volume] (Stillwater, Minn.) 1887-1894, 1890-03-13
Curious Savage Ideas.

The ancient Peruvians believed that the sun
once came down to the earth and laid two eggs
and then went back again From these two eggs
men sprung.
The Fian cannibal's emotions have reference
for the greater part to food so he worsh,ps the
god Matawaloo, who has eight stomachs. and is
always eating.
The American Indians had dogma that the
sun was the supreme God, and the moon was his
wife. One tribe, inhabitng fearfully hot district
worshpped the moon alone. saying they had no
use for the sun.
The Tongans have very curious dogma to &C.
count for day and ght being twenty-four hours
long. 1t used to be less; the sun used to 90
down too quick. So one day a man caught it with
a noose., and 1t had to go slower thereafter.
In the days of Columbus scientific dogmas as
serted: IF a ship reach India she could never
get back again, because the rotundity of the
globe would present kind of mountain, up which
it would be impossible to sa even with the most
fav 0rable wind. Boston Globe.
The prison mirror. [volume] (Stillwater, Minn.) 1887-1894, 1890-03-13

1t there is any person whom you dislike.
that is the person of whom you ought never
to speak. Cecil.
The prison mirror. [volume] (Stillwater, Minn.) 1887-1894, 1890-03-13
Talk at a Boarding House Table.

How are you, Butter? How do you feel to-
night?'
"Oh, am just strong possible. How are
you, MIR. Coffee?'
Me! Well, to speak the truth, feel very
weak. l don't feel settled. and the grounds upon
which am admitted into society don t suit me at
all. How you, Miss Mllk?'
''Oh, feel very blue. fell in the water this
morning and came near be ng drowned; but don't
chalk that up against me, and if you a COW
anywhere around I'd lactometer."
Then the steak yelled out, Bully" and the
mutton said, Goa while you're young" while
the boiled eggs fairly cackled in derision--Florda
Times Union.
The prison mirror. [volume] (Stillwater, Minn.) 1887-1894, 1890-03-13
Carl PretZel's Philosophy

Der founces on some peoples gharackder vas
sewed on nit der thread of pride und self esh-
teens.
Der Almighty gift efery man yoost so much
sense yoost enuff to keeb him busy mindin his
own pishness.
Der reason Why der noses of peoples vas
fiat like der deuce. vas on ackound of dheir
sbduckin it against anoder fellers preambles.
Vickednt IS bites YOU nit his shtinger. Virtue
put some salve on dot.
II say, Punz. why do you wear your coat but
toned around you in that fashion? Do you think
it improves your torso?'
mo. dear boy. But my trousers torso I
have to."-Washington Ratchet
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1890-01-15
Using the Conscience.

Is there ever time in life when
person can afford to be less conscientious
than at other times? 1t is doubtless
true that we often act as though con-
science had more rightful voice in
what we regard as life duties than mere
pleasures or personal qualifications. We
make it more imperative in work than
in play. When young boy was strain
ing his eyes to read, as he stood in the
center of crowded car at night, a
stranger laid his hand on the boys arm,
and said good-naturedly: "Shut your
book, my boy, do your studying at home;
you will need your eyes, take care Of
them" But" replied the startled
youth, sit isn't a lesson-I'm only read
ing" He would gladly have saved his
cycsight from the duty of study; he
would not SO gladly save it from the en-
ioyment of mere reading. And so we
are likely to be more anxious for our
health on a rainy church-night than on
rainy concert-night or the night of an
evening social gathering. We make
conscience our ally in contest against
duty; we make it our enemy in contest
against personal qualification. But il
we regard every moment of life as pre-
empted by duty, if we remember that
what it is not our duty to do it is oul
duty not to do, we shall find that the
voice of conscience ought never to be
stilled-that it is as much our Lawful
monitor in pleasure seeking as in the
harder lines of conscious service. There
is but one voice of right for work ant
for plays. S. Times.