davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Chariton courier. (Keytesville, Chariton County, Mo.) 1878-current, 1890-02-20
A Boys Composition on History.

n DUV GOWpOSHfOH WI HiSiVJ'
When some bald headed old col
lege professor writes story Of sum-
thin that he don't kno nothin about
only what he has read in some old
gografy they call it his-story and
everybody believes 1t, but when sum
female woman writes story about
sumthin that she does kno nothln
about they don't call it her story
but they call it novel and everybo-
dy says tbs a blamed lie. don't
believe in hIstry but have got to
study it for teacher says that 1 have
got to git an education or git a
lickin.
There Is good many kinds OF
hlstry and each one is little worse
than the rest of EN-. There is an
shunt histry and natrual hlstrY and
hlstry of united states and histories;
anshunt histry tells about old maids
and old men and old folks that are
ded and good many more that
ought to be ded-histry of united
states tells about the country we live
in and the capital at washington and
the war and lot of other things;
there is another histry of united
states which tells about folks that
have got married and when one dies
the other one is called wldder but
when one runs away and leaves the
other she is called grass widder
because she don't feel sorry but she
feels green.
Natural history tells about beasts
and birds and creepin things. /
have got to write a composition
about histry. and don't care darn
which kind so will rite about natu-
raj histry of trees.
Trees grow out of the ground, on
ly the roots they grow in the ground.
Sum trees blow out in the spring
and the blows are called blossoms
and some trees blow out when the
wind blows like hurycan but when
the wind blows a tree out 1t stays
out. trees are very useful for boys
to climb. If there wasn't no trees
in the world boys would have to
clim telegraf poles which would be
a CRATE clamity.
There is a good many kinds of
trees, some are called apple trees
some are are called chestnut trees
some are maple trees and some axle
trees. Appletrees grow in the orch
ard and have green apples on EN- in
the summer and the apples have
bellyake in em-chestnut trees have
chestnuts and burrs Oh EN- and they
grow In the forest. Axletrees grow
in the wagon house and don't have
any nuts on EN- only the nuts that
hold the wheels on. Maple tree:
don't have any fruit only stove wood
birds bild their nests in trees anC
lay eggs in EN- bumblebee build;
his nest under a stone and lays al
egg over boys eye they say tha
trees leave IN the spring but they
don't they stay all summer trees arr
very helthy to lie down under wher
the sun shines hot but when the SUI
don't shine they amt good for moth
ing-the curiousest tree l ever re'
about is a palm tree the one tha
bears palm leaf fans on 1t. 1t don
grow In the united states where the
don't need fans only hot Sunday al
ternoons in the summer but it grow
in Africa where it is so hot that bun
blebees have to carry fans to kee
their honey from melting and th
nIggers are too awful poor to buy
. fan so they pick EN- from trees liz
Il apples. 1 kno lot more about tre'
IS but 1 won't tell it. BILL.
Y -Terds SifttnqS.
Chariton courier. (Keytesville, Chariton County, Mo.) 1878-current, 1890-02-20
Rucklin's Arnica Salye.

The best salve in the world for
cuts, bruises, sores, ulcers, salt
rheum, fever sores, letter, chapped
hands, chilblains, corn, and all skin
eruptions, and positively cures piles
or no pay required. tbs guaranteed
to give perfect satisfaction, or money
refunded. Price 25 cents per box.
for sale by w. c. CASTOR & Co. 23ly
Chariton courier. (Keytesville, Chariton County, Mo.) 1878-current, 1890-02-20
Harrison L0Ues a Union Soldier.

Harrison L0Ues a Union S0idier.
The dismissal of John Ti.lman
from his place in the appraiser Of
fee is probably the most disgr' ceful
violation of It's pledges that the pres
ent administration has yet exhi 'lted.
Trllman was left for dead, with three
wounds, on the field of Gaines Mill.
Yet he has lived to see the day when
he was to be dismissed from a posi-
ton which he gained by a surcess-
full civil service examination dis
missed without hearing and With
out charge, by an adminlst alton
whose chief and whose party have
exhausted the English language in
their protestation of devotion to clvl
service reform and of burning love
for the patriot soldier. Thlman is
Democrat. York C0mD,e7ctG
| AlUeJttSeT.
Chariton courier. (Keytesville, Chariton County, Mo.) 1878-current, 1890-02-20

MANY ladies drag out miserable exIs
tenee more dead than alive, suffering
nearly all the time. DR.. Dronsooles
English Female Bitters will destroy the
seeds of disease, build up the strength and
restore the shattered health. IL you can't
ret ii Of your druggist, write 10 DIR. J. r.
Dromyoole. Louisville, Ny.
Chariton courier. (Keytesville, Chariton County, Mo.) 1878-current, 1890-02-20
Timely Wisdom.

Young man, listen to the voice of
wisdom. Incline thine ear and give
heed to her teachings. Dost thou
incline toward sportiness, dOst thou
90 abroad in the land at night and
"trip the light fantastic" and per-
ambuIate with the femInlnes Art
thou inclined to make merry wit 1 the
boys and figure for the substance of
the Jackpot and bank thy shekels
against the ever slippery tigers Dost
thou give thy girl Of the substance
known as taffy? Dost thou suck
the mild cheroot, and nlbble the
light bamboo? Hast thou lost thy
grip on the ways that are good, and
wrestlest thou with the tricks that
are vain? Verify, verify, / say unto
thee, if thou hast, thou art in a hard
row of stumps, and before i1any
moons, thou wilt find that thy name
is pants. Thy friend will look in
vain only for thee In the haunts oi
the wicked only to find thee swim
ming camplacently in the tureen
Hanker thou not after the juice o.
the bug. Steer widely of the vii
man with four aces and in the ripen
ed years of thy life thou wiltest fin'
thy pockets replete with the eollat
eral of earth, while those who min
lot my commandments are partak
ing of the lunch which is free.
Chariton courier. (Keytesville, Chariton County, Mo.) 1878-current, 1890-02-20

WAIT till the corn IS waving, An
ME, sang the future authority. as he
was about to take leave of lis be-
trothed; Wait the devil, said .AnnIe's
father, as his bunion came in contact
with Willie's pants.
Chariton courier. (Keytesville, Chariton County, Mo.) 1878-current, 1890-02-20
Hibbayd,s Throat and Lung Bal

For throat and lung troubles this RENE.
DIV has no equal. 1t is guaranteed to cure
consumption in its first stages, and even
in advanced stages of that disease it re-
lieyes coughing and induces sleep. You
NAV have a cough or cold at any time,
therefore no household. especially with
children, should be without it. For ell
affections of the throat, lungs aud chest,
Group, whooping cough, hoarsenessi spit
| ting Of blood and all pulmonary disease It
has no equal.
Prepared only by Rheumatic Syrup Co.,
| Jackson, Mich. 5om6
Chariton courier. (Keytesville, Chariton County, Mo.) 1878-current, 1890-02-20

MAN enters newspaper office. Edi-
tor looks up in alarm. "My dear
SIR. says the visitor, 81 have a
bench warrant for your arrest" T"
Editor-"Thank God it is no worse.
/ thought you had poem"
Chariton courier. (Keytesville, Chariton County, Mo.) 1878-current, 1890-02-20

ABUSE generally is healthy, but
sometimes it comes from so low a
source that it don't do a man any
good.
Chariton courier. (Keytesville, Chariton County, Mo.) 1878-current, 1890-02-20
DALE.

SOME people may not know it but
the treasurer of the United States
Is not required to give bond.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-05-18
UP ROSE M'GlNTY.

Now most av yees have heard
Ay thing which has occurred,
The downfall av McGinty, an his fate.
Though he whit to the wall,
Sure he didn't die at all.
Now liSh en- to shtory I'll relate
I'll admit twas Sunday morn,
But few hours after dawn.
Dan aroused to consciousness and the cold
fact,
That in order to restore
His position as before,
He must hustle with the necessary tact
Away whit McGinty from feminist deshtruc-
tions wall!
In his pockets he did probe,
Found copy of the GLOBE,
Wherein was an advertisement which gave
Dan 1.-The CALL
When Danny saw the ad,
Sure he was happy lad.
Hecudn't harly wait for Monday morn;
But whin it came at last,
His humility was past,
And in work-clothes he did himself adorn.
Very decently he wint
To the place where he was STINT
(Be the paper he found lurking in his coat
Danny niver was snob,
So he TUX the prolfered job.
And Wanst more the brick an mortar he did
tote.
IT'LL up TOS0 MC0liits Oh tiiO ioushSA WAN Aio
hod!
SO hol'' says McGinty-
ssWhat care l for all your codl'
For the boys they did terate
Poor McGinty on his fate,
An wild plinty jokes an jibes young Danny
they did prod.
An now it's just year
Since McGinty had a tear"
His work is steady-he kapes sober too,
His minds continted now,
Not a wrinkle on his brow,
And for thrubbles he don't make much ado.
Though quite modest in his way,
He aspires to be some day
Shure an alderman in ward Fourteen ha ha.
An the day is drawing nigh,
Whin McGinty will shtand high!
For constituents are plinty. near an farl
Rise up thin. McGinty TO your station in the
wur-rld
Yara thin, McGinty. let your banner be I'M
furled.
From your faults may you disrobe
An reminder that the GLOBE
Has the biggest circulation. Through the
land It's whirled!
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-05-18

the games East gives color to its claims
as a prophet. Nowhere does the EN-
thusiasm of former years appear. The
season, however, is early, and it may
close with different record to that
now promised. The popular taste
in these athletic matters runs in
waves, up and down. Roller skating.
tobogganing and some others, no
doubt, will come up again in
time, butthey are rather spurts than the
steady thing, and will have only local
and temporary runs. Base ball is the
American athletic game. 1t has i'll
trinsic merit. and will not really lose it's
place if it does for time appear on the
receding popular wave. There is no
other game that meets its conditions or
can take its place. 1t is the manage
ment and prominence the mercenary
feature has assumed that account for
the disposition to let it alone so prev
alent. The clubs do not represent
localities except in name, and the
triekery and maneuyering and money
making pressure have disaffected those
who are only concerned to see an ex-
hibition of skill aud muscle. Base ball
is not going to be discarded from the
arena that the popuIace throngs, but it
will have a quieter session than usual
this wear,
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-05-18
A Busy Preacher.

New York Letter to Richmond Dispatch.
If there be any buster man in New
York than Rev. Morgan Dix. of Trinity
corporation, he would do we'll to step
up and be identified. Besides attending
to the vast routine business of the Trim
lty corporation, with its 100000 i'll
vested, preaching regularly, marry
ing people, visiting the sick and
officiating over the dead, he is
called upon by men and women of
every walk in life for advice OH all sorts
of questions. No matter how early you
go to his Office in the morning you will
find a dozen or twenty people ahead of
you. They all want to see the distin-
guished rector of old Trinity in person,
and explain to him their various schemes
and troubles. The writer of this waited
two hours in his Office the other day for
an opportunity to get word with him
on matter of private business.
In personal appearance DR.. Dix
is one of the most striking
men in New York, and he always at
tracts a great deal of attention. He is a
strong preacher. deep thinker, and
his voice has lost none of the charm
that made him famous as preacher.
While not exactly the fashionable
preacher. he is called upon by society
to officiate at weddings that are unusu-
ally profitable. His personal income is
enormous, and he has a comfortable
fortune. He gives away great deal OF
money, and has helped more young
men to get on in the world than any
preacher of the day.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-05-18
TAKING THEM MILDER.

The English people do not do much
work for temperance on compulsory
lines. but have more or less difficulty in
keeping the drinking matter in salts
factory channels. The Tory party is
likely to suffer in the next election be-
cause the head of the ministry has Of
Tended the publicans by proposed in
reference with licenses. 1t appears
from the investigations of a committee
of parliament that the consumers want
lighter beers than they have used, the
reduction in strength on the average be-
ing fully 10 per cent in the last decade.
This is not accounted for, but perhaps
Is compensated by Increased consump-
lion of distilled liquors. The special
line of inquiry was in pursuance of CON-
plants of hop growers that the brewers
were using chemicals in place of hops.
This was found to he the growing fact,
and it is probable that the government
will interfere, as in Germany,
and prohibit the use of chem
icaIs. 1t is not alleged in the Brit
ish report that these substitutes are per-
nicious to consumers, but the action in
Germany indicates that investigations
have reached that conclusion there. No
tampering with the popular beverage
would be tolerated in that country.
There is shown to be notable falling
Off of drunkenness in England, pre-
sumed to be due to the mlder temper
of the beer. The drift in this country,
a so is said tn he tO LIGHTER hpar In
view of the enormous increase of con-
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-05-18
A GOOD EXAMPLE.

The California people never let it be
forgotten that they have country that
has goodly things besides the climate,
which they have not yet quite devised a
way of putting on exhibition away from
home. When they come East to con-
ventions or any conspicuous gatherings,
they come with their banners on the
outer walls of the cars and the interior
stored with the products of their fertile
land, and royal hospitality is dispensed.
All distinctions of politics OF sect are
merged in the common shibboleth. The
other day, the governor telegraphed to
the worlds fair committee at Chicago
to save ten acres for the California eX-
hibit. This is not buncombe, although
there is not urgent need of present pa
rade in the matter. 1t is proposed to
form local clubs all over the state to
operate in connection with the fair.
This is matter of business. 1t pays
them to have their state kept to the
front. Some other states in the West
will find useful suggestion in the eX-
ample of California.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-05-18
TRADE IN COLORADO.
Adventure of a Man Who LOST
His Hat in a Gale.

Lucius M. Geddings tells the Globe
Democrat: During recent trip across
country in Colorado l had the mis-
fortune to lose my hat in wind Storm,
At the next hating place l called i'll at
the general grocery. provisions. dry
goods, gentlemen's furnishing, hard
ware and agricultural Implement
establishment 20 make good the
loss. The stock of hats was not
bewilderingly large, and soon
abandoned all hope of suiting myself as
to style, and stroye only to secure
good fit. Finally secured a murderous-
looking article which fitted me. When
| asked the price the proprietor took
his pipe from his mouth and asked how
much l would give him. The hat was
worth about $3.50, but, mindful of the
difficulties of transit, l offered double
that amount. A cOunter-proposition OF
SO was mad, and finally secured the
article for S.. This bargaining bust
ness reminds me of the practice, thirty
or forty years ago. of fighting store
keepers on prices before concluding a
purchase of any kind. | remember one
dry goods house on Fourth street, IN
particular, where the price asked was
invariably so per cent more than eX-
pected, or, indeed, wanted. But the
idea was that if too small sum were
asked rebate would still be expected,
and so sufficient was put on to cover
he anticipated reduction. Advertising
and competition have killed all that
sort of business.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-05-18
a DOUBTFUL RULE.

The rule was recently announced by
the leading bank in Ireland that no per-
son in its employ should marry unless
he had an income of $50 IL year. The
same regulation has been in force in
most of the banks of England. The
sum is equivalent to rather more than
81, 900 in most cities in this country. If
the rule is supplemented by the provis-
ion that every young man who wants to
marry shall be put OH the benedict sal
airy roll, there will be no difficulty in en-
forcing the regulation. But that is not
probably the fact, as it would then be
an encouragement to matrimony. There
is nothing sentimental in the require
ment. 1t assumes that man will spend
more when he has wife than when
single and that the home influences will
not tend to greater honesty. Matrimony
is more of business and financial trans
action in the old world. If in this
country no man could take wife until
he had an income of 81, 200 year, COM
paratively few would marry. There is
quite enough disposition to delay this
incident for pecuniary reasons.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-05-18
TOPICAL TALK.
Those Elec- 1t is but natural that
our citizens should
trio Motor grow impatient when
they see so much of
Lines tho Cnrinn nacc h1r with

Those Elec- 1t is but natural that
our citizens should
trio Motor grow impatient when
they see so much of
Lines. the spring pass by with
so little sign of prep:
aration for the extension of street car,
lines. Plagued by this feeling of rest
lessness, committee of prominent gen.
tlemen rushed over to Minneapolis to
find out what was the matter with.
Thomas; and when they got there
tue genial president of the street
car company soon took all the wire
edge off Of their Impotence by
telling them that he was the busiest
man on earth, trying to do the very
thing they were after. In fact. he
repentant that they had bothered Mr..
Lowry at all. And [ guess they had
just as we'll have stayed at home. 1t
has been pretty etfectually demonstrated
that Mr.. Lowry is a man who
can't be hurried along by the pressure
of popular clamor. His power of resist
ance in this respect is something phe-
nomenal. Still, there is no reason to
suppose that Mr.. Lowry does not intend
to carry out in good faith all that he has
promised. We remember how slow he
seemed to be about getting to work on
the Selpy avenue and East Seventh
street cable lines, and yet when he did
commence operations how rapidly every
thing moved along. He got there on
time in both instances, notwithstanding
the slow beginnings. And we have an
idea it will be the same way with these
new electric motor lines. By the time
the ground is mantled with snow they
will be in running order. All we can
do is to sit down and hold our souls In
patience until Thomas gets good
ready,
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-05-18
PERSONAL POINTS.

Max O'RelI's next book will be ga
Look at America Through French
Glasses" They will be Blouet glasses,
of course.
Cardinal Gibbons favors the full and
free discussion of the social question
which is encouraged in this country.
He thinks the labor problem will be
solved here first.
"Marion Harland." Mrs. Mary V. 81.
Terhune, of Brooklyn, is tall woman
of gracious manner and dignified pres
ence. Her recommendation on bar of
soap will make it goa good way with
some people.
Francis James, who was killed by a
wounded elephant in the Gaboon coun-
try, was a most adventurous traveller in
the Dark Continent. He was only
thirty-eight, and conducted all his eX-
petitions at his own expense.
The Emperor of Germany's cards are
printed in plain Gothic type, and read:
t'Wilhelm, German Emperor and King
of Prussia" 1t would look well with
''Pass two (2). Buffalo Bill'' written
across the face of it.
James Carlyle, brother of Thomas
Carlyle, has just died in London. He
was the highest authority in all Eng
iollu VII Sliidli VIII WOOu anu uuuoO Wei
min. 1t may be pardonable in this con-
on Mr.. Carlyle.
Princess Pauline Metternich is a
clever amateur actress. At perform
ance in Vienna she walked about among
the audience in the costume of wash
erw0man, receiving compliments and
asking advice" Behind her back the
priests jndulpad in fiat irony
Robert Louis Stevenson. in his Sa.e
moan retreat, is devoting time and en-
ergy to the defense of the memory of
Father Damien. whose reputation has
been attacked by a Presbyterian mis-
sionary named Hyde. He will make
Mr.. Hyde wish he were DR.. Jekyll be-
fore he gets through with him.
An educated man named Kuechler,
forester and wood-carver. suffered a
family bereavement many years ago
and went to live at the top of Mount
Penn, near Reading, Pa, in retirement.
He is known as the Hermit of Mount
Penn" Many people visit bis cabin
every summer. Being only fifty miles
from Philadelphia it is wonder that
the hermit didn't go where he wouldn't
be disturbed.
Emperor Francis Joseph of Austria
has been capercailZie shooting. He
began to shoot capercailzie forty years
ago, and since that time his majesty
has killed 645 of them. He has bagged
fifty-SiX WOodcOck during his sporting
career. Most American citizens know
what wooucock is, but nine out of ten
of them will have to plunge into the
dictionary to ascertain what kind OF
creature a capercailzie is.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-05-18
A SHEEP TAIL.

Some people have the queer notion
that preachers ought to emaciate
funny or robust story in order to keep
in the historical lines. They would
hardly allow any indulgence of the
Imagination to the anointed. This
critical disposition would take the
laugh out of most of the amusing
features of the lecture in this city the
past week by the native Armenian.
For instance. he asserted that the NUT
ton, the principal animal food of his
land, was more toothSome than the
sheep meat i'll America. The only eX-
PLANTATION he could give Of it
was that the Armenian sheep ran
largely to tail In fact, he insisted that
the tails grew so large that they were
a burden to the sheep, and it was
difficult to tell which was the sheep
and which the tail. 1t was necessary to
attach little vehicles on wheels to the
sheep for the carriage of the tails. 1t
was not made quite clear whether the
more savory meat came from the tail
or elsewhere. 1t is presumed that
this is something of a traditional
tail, as the speaker was born at
the foot of Mount Ararat, and the sheep
that came out of the ark were the an
cestors of the present breed. He was
candid enough to admit that he had no
confidential or family information to
add about NOAH, but he would not
shorten the sheep narrative. Some of
his hearers thought that, as preacher,
he ought not to insist that he really
meant that in his native land bicycles
were required for the tails of sheep.
He stated it as literal fact, and the
rational way is to accept the picture
as Photographic. 1t would not be
questioned if related by newspaper
man, and should not be in this case.
Perhaps it was this kind of sheep that
SAMSON used to make trouble with the
enemy by soaking their tails in coal Oil
and setting fire to them when they
were let loose. There are more difficult
things to believe than that sheep have
such tails, and persons who are always
quibbIing over things not comprehended
lose the enjoyment of many a good tale.