davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Arizona champion., 1890-09-13
QUIET CHUCKLES.

With defaulters it is fly time at any sensor of the year.-Boston Post.
 If most people only knew as much as they think they know, they wouldn't talk so much about it.-Somerville Journal
 A fashion writer tells us that pnffs are quite the proper thing in female attire this season. It is noticed that actresses continue to como to newspapers for them as hereto fore-Boston Post.
 If the oyster could speak it would probably refer to the clam just now as it's steamed contemporary Courier. The girl of the period is not unused to arms, though she may utterly fail in the art of self defense. Boston Commonwealth. !, A city young man who while summering a week in the country fell in love with pretty idairymaid, proposed, and was rejected, tod his friends when he returned home that hs ii only got one milk shake" while he was away.-Norristown Herald. 1 You can tell when O dog is warm, the same as you can tell dude when you meet hin on the street-by his loud pants Statesman.
 i Some people have strange tastes Hugh A. Brooks, in this weather, is pleased to stay thirty days over bis time in hot St. Louis Jail He might have been hanged week ago.-New Orleans Picayune ! As result of advertising furniture on tho ,installment plan Fremont street furniture dealer was rather surprised the other day when 0 woman came in and asked for "Mr Installment" and did not want to talk to any ans alSA-Bozton TimaA
The Arizona champion., 1890-09-13
POINTERS.

Howto get even with some men-Pay them what you owo them
 We respect our rich uncles for their greet will power.
 The barbad wire fence is the greatest draw back on a farm nowadays
 A Cincinnati tailor has failed. He lost money speculatins in wheat selvidges in Chi cago
 x ndvertises to exchange shot gun for Q trombone. If he resides in our neighbor- hood, we would beg him to keep the shot gun and blow in that.-Detroit Free Press
The Arizona champion., 1890-09-13
4 Slirht Mistake.

Customer tto jewelerl-Heres the clock I bought of you the other day. It's of no earthly use to me, for it gains fully fifteen minutes an hour Jeweler examining clocll) My dear sir, beg a thousand pardons. This is one of our patent anticipatory time pieces, made exclusively for our billiard room and livery stable trade. Excuse the mistake. Anything you may select in the line of our regular citizens clock we will ez- change 1t for with pleaSure.-Tiwa.
The Arizona champion., 1890-09-13
Two Kinds of Squeeze.

"James," said the father of the family, sternly, your school reports have been any thing but favorable this term. 1 suppose you failed in your examination as usualT'
 ''No, sir" protested the boy, "I passed, but it was a tight squeeze"
 Laura" continued the father, turning to his oldest daughter, ''I think I heard voices in the hall late last evening. l have told you repeatedly not to let that young man stay later than II o'clock"
 ''It was just II o'clock when he left, father"
 "That's so," testified James, coming to the relief of his sister. q was at the top of the stairway and saw him go. He got away at Il o'clock, but it was tight squ"-
 'Jamesl" shrieked Laura-Chicago Fri bune
The Arizona champion., 1890-09-13
Hereditary.

In on Italian garrison thero was private soldier named Ugolino One of the officers took the soldier aside one day and asked him:
 ''Are you a descendant of the famous Count Ugolino, about whom Dante wrotep'
 ''No," replied tho soldier, 'an my ances- tors were poor people"
 'I refer to Count Ugolino who was starved to death with his sons in the tower of Pisa D ''1f he didn't get enough to eat, very likely he was an ancestor of mine after all" re- piled the honest soldier.-Texas Siftings
The Arizona champion., 1890-09-13
life of mine is wearisome,

-Ihis He or mlne IS wearlsome, on, so wearisome," said the trainman. 'It reminds me of that beautiful line of the poet, Brake, brake, brake The only trouble is that the line is not quite long enough to work in all the brakes. "-N. Y. Sun.
 A Scotch physician has discovered that playing on the bagpipe wears away the players front teeth in four years. Listening to a boarding-house piano wears out a mans patience much quicker than the meals wear out his teeth
The Arizona champion., 1890-09-13
Interviewing the King of Finance.

 With the Baron de RothscSild I did not get on at all He spoke English so like my French that the situation was painful.
 ''I am from the Graphic" said L "Ahp' said he; ''ze London Gwaph- eeque; it ees one great paper" ''No," said L "The New York Daily Graphic"
 "AhP' said he; "I see. No, know nossing about eet"
 But l have come to speak upon fnan- cial matters"
 "Fenarnce?" he asked. "Yes," said I. Finance" "Ah" he said; "zat ees one grand subject-of which l can speak not any zing at all."-Julian Ralph, in Chatter.
The Arizona champion., 1890-09-13
At tho Seaside.

Do7othy-But, Herman, can't answer you now. I-I-give me time to think be- fore reply.
 Herman with rapturous passion)-cer- tainly, mJ own angel But don't make it too long, because it costs me s day at this beastly hotel-W Washington Critic.
The Arizona champion., 1890-09-13
4 Public Benefit.

"Yes, sir, consider myself public bene- factor"
 "In what wayY"
 q have invented cures for several of the most distressing diseases"
 Third Citizen-I fully agree with you that you are benefactor.
 "How do you knowT" ! 'I am an undertaken. n-Lincoln Journal
The Arizona champion., 1890-09-13
To a Certain Extent He Was.

The conversation had turned on liter ature.
 'I hope you are not an a1mirer of Fielding, MT. Cahokia," remarked the young woman from Boston.
 ''Why, of eourse," replied the young man from St Louis, candidly, 'I like to see 1t when 1t isn't too ragged, but I always did think it was batting that wins games. s."-Chicago Tribune.
The Arizona champion., 1890-09-13
Plenty Now,

An editor advises people to "take the fam fly skeleton to the seashore and exhibit 1t in a bathing suit" As if hundreds of family skeletons were not exhibited in bathing suits ct the seashore edailyi-Norristown Herald.
The Arizona champion., 1890-09-13
Fresh News

aAny news fn the papersF' asked Joe of his companion yesterday. "Yes, the Armada is smashed all to pieces" That's old news; read about it in my school days" II don't care, tho newspapers have just caught on, and I thought it was soL-ethiRg fresh."- Boston Journal.
The Arizona champion., 1890-09-13
FLAGSTAFF Lop5E,

NTo. F. X A. NJ. Regular meetings of this IN Lodge at Masonic Hall, on the fourth Mon day in eacn month. Sojourning Brethren cor dially invited to attend.
 J.W. SHARP, W. A. J. E. BURcHARD, See'y. Examining Committee: W. J. Hill, Niles J. Cameron, John Rosebaugh.
The Arizona champion., 1890-09-13

Wife-What did you buy such an ex- pensive umbrella for, Johnl
 Husband-It was the last one of the kind the dealer had, and got it at bargain. The handle Is solid silver; it was economy to buy it at the price did.
 Wife-It doesn't match that shabby suit very well
 Husband-No, s'pose I shall have to get a new suit of clothes.-New York Sun.
The Arizona champion., 1890-09-13
A Literary Man.

Jones-1 say, Smith, l understand that Brown is something of a literary man.
 Smith-Literary man, yes. Why, Brown writes for the waste baskets of some of the leading newspapers and magazines in the country.-New York Sun.
The Arizona champion., 1890-09-13
4 Short Allowance.

Mrs. Nobby-How many servants do you take with you to Bar Harbor, Mrs. Tiptopl
 Mrs. Tiptop-Only twenty-five this sum- mer. You know leave the baby at home Boston Herald.
The Arizona champion., 1890-09-13

The tattered chart found on the body of Lieutenant De Long, of arctic fame, now forms one of the most inter- esting relics in Colonel Langston's mu- scum at Fort Hamilton, in New York harbor.
The Arizona champion., 1890-09-13

Summer Pleasure. Now sultry grows the summer air And soda fountains spout; Let's to the Rangely Lakes repair And troll for monster trout. We've heard about that region rare CThe sportsman never liesl, The trout each summer captured thers Arc all of monstrous siza At Rangely Lakes the fishing's fine (So run the sportsmen's tales); Each flnny beauty caught, at nins Or ten pounds tips the scalesI Ohi let us see-hold on O bit We must. of course, be fair Some smaller fish they do admit Are captured here and there. But when to Rangely sportsmen roam, This curious thing we find: The small fish only they bring home, The large they leave behind
 Boston Courier.
The Arizona champion., 1890-09-13
It MouId Hare Got There, Anzmar.

It is said that kissing was introduced into England by Rowena There ere lots of fel- lows who would like to subscribe S5 for Q monument to Rowena. Burlington Fres Press EsSU
The Arizona champion., 1890-09-13
Includes Everything.

Coldy-Why is it, Orson, that every timo you meet Trombly you ask him, "How's everythingf
 Orson-Why, didn't you know that From ply thinks he owns tho eartha-Once Week.
The Arizona champion., 1890-09-13

These characteristic names are said to be the remains of the ancient Gaul- ish language, and were the titles by which our Anglo-Saxon ancestor knew the months.-American Notes and Queries.
The Arizona champion., 1890-09-13
InfaIlible,

Ada-Why do you think Mfr. Smith Is in love with youl
 Ella-He pays such polite attention to my ugliest sister.-Detroit Free Press
The Arizona champion., 1890-09-13

She-Row immeasurably grand tho ocean Isl It always lifts me above myself and makes our own little lives and interests seem 50 petty and hollow.
 Gustavus (who is feeling queer and has heard imperfectly)-I don't mind being hol- low If I only dared fill up again.-Life-
The Arizona champion., 1890-09-13
2. E. G. RANSOM.

"oMANs RELIEF CORPS, No. 32, meets al w G. A. R. Hall every two weeks on Thurs day, at o'clock P. A.
 MRS. P. B. RUMsEY, Pres. MRS. LENA ELMoRE, Sec'y.
The Arizona champion., 1890-09-13
The Names of the Months,

Every Christianized country on the globe, with the single exception of Hol- land, has adapted the old Roman names as applied to the months. Some are sadly altered, of course, but the old Latin root remains, nevertheless The table given below shows the Latin names in the left-hand column, the popular name by which the months arc known in Holland in the right-hand column, and the center column the Hol- landish proper name:
The Arizona champion., 1890-09-13
c. E. S..

MOUNT FRISCO CHAPTER, No. 4, O. E. S M Regular conversations in Masonic Hall second and fourth Friday nights in each month
 MALIssA E. WEST, Worthy Matron,
 J. E. BURCHARD, Worthy Patron, J. GUTHRIE SAVAGE, Sec'y.
The Arizona champion., 1890-09-13
ROYAL AR5H MAsoNs.

CTATED CORPORATIONS on the third Satur. D day in each month in Masonic Hall at PM. sojourning Companions are cordially invited.
 J. E. BURcHARD, H. P F.w. H. GUTTER, Sec'y.
The Arizona champion., 1890-09-13
SECRET SOCIETIES.
I, 0, 0. 2.

TNLAGsTAFF LODGE, No Il, I. O. O. F., meets U every Wednesday evening at o'clock. Visiting Brothers in good starding cordially invited to attend.
 c. R. BAYLEss, N. G. 4. 8. ALvoRD, Sec.
The Arizona champion., 1890-09-13
RANSOM POST.

ATO. 4 c. A. R, meets at Grand Army Hall. or IN the second and last Saturday in each month Visiting Comrades are invited to at end.
 GEO. HoxwoRTH, P. c. L. L. BURNS, Adjutant
, 1890-10-24

Mr.. Andrews came pretty near selling
the queen a sample of his marble-that
would have been n great thing for him.
He was telling me all about it the other
day.
20. r. johnson, the vice consul said
he, ''got me a card to the queens draw
ing room in May, and L went to it at
tired in n court dress which 1 hired at a
shop in Bond street. There was an aw-
full crush, but l contrived to get pretty
near the head Of the procession by tip
ping a sixpence to the lord chancellor Of
the privy chamber. l bowed and kissed
the queens hand in great shape; told her
| had always admired and sympathized
with her-that l particularly revered
her for her devotion to the memory of
the departed. My words seemed to touch
her deeply. She answered that it was
her determination to keep that memory
forever green. In that case said l, let
me give you a pointer-buy a fifty foot
slab of my verd-antique marbler"
"What did she say to THAR l asked.
"She didn't say anything" replied Mr..
Andrews, ''but a rude fat man in gilt
lace and a cooked hat told me to keep
moving on around to the left. I'd have
closed a sale if it hadn't been for him"
Eugene Field in Chicago News.
, 1890-10-24

that city. Recent issues, published alter
the visit of President Adams 10 the
Wyoming capital. contained faring ac-
counts of the contemplated removal of the
supply department add Vice President
Holcomb's office to Cheyenne The
papers are rapidly ~supplAnting Puck and
Judge as amusement sheets in the Offices
at the headquarters. Omaha Bee
Articles in a vein similar to this were
published in the Bee when the columns
of the Cheyenne papers teemed with
accounts OF the proposed new Union
Pacific shop plant about TO DO located
here. The Bee then saw the f%ruition Of
ouT hopes. In the bitterness OF its heart
it may soon realize some further truths
that are now finding expression in the
Cheyenne papers.
, 1890-10-24

Friday morning Master G. A. Wallace
saw in a field what he took to be a hare,
but as it did not run he went up and
kicked it, when it rose and sprang furious
ly toward him. He now thought It was a
bear, and made good time for the fence,
whore he got n picket and returned to the
attack. The boy was accompanied by a
pet goat, and as he laid on the blows with
u picket the goat butted and hooked the
enemy and they soon dispatched it. The
creature proved TO be a badger. and weighed
twenty-seven pounds. When the boy
would strike the badger it would spring at
him, and then the goat would receive the
charge, butting vigorously. The badgers
claws were over an inch long. and the lad,
who is only 10 years old, was fortunate in
es~caping.-San Rafael Journal.
, 1890-10-24

Matrimony with the EnglishmAn is not
the solemn, settling thing it is with Amer
lean men, They regard living, having a
homo and bringing up a family as some
thing due TO man, whereas we regard
almost everything as due to the woman.
There il Henry Clews in New York, VIII
failed about the time Of the panic of 1873,
but who has made another fortune. He
met a fine young girl who appeared in
Washington society as the niece of the
Biknaps.
They have several children, and the wo-
man likes the man because he is success
full, and the man is attached to his wife
because she is beautiful and fruitful. In
fact, marriage in public station differs but
little from marriage in any station. On
the whole, people are happiest who marry
abreast of their condition, A very intelli-
gent man or woman is unhappy with "A
stupid, unintelligent one OF the other sex.
Where the man has no social taste his
wife, who possesses it, forms other cembi-
nations, and in a measure leaves him out.
II they are about equal in general training
and notions they match better during a
long life than II one is always growing and
the other never growing.-Gath's Letter
, 1890-10-24
LonsrER 49, coo cuLIuaE.
A New Departure in the Propagation Of
the shelIash-

A New Departure in the OF
the sheIlash.
It is very probable that unless we have
resort to artificial culture to replenish
our lobster fisheries there will be a
marked decline in Nova Scotia's output
during the next few years. Already
Newfoundland is ahead of us in this
branch of fish culture, for under the
management Of Adolph Nielsen, a Nor
wegian expert, '4the ancient colony has
taken a new departure in the propaga-
ton of cod and Holsters. In a recent
article Rev, Moses Harvey writes that
the fish hatchery on the shore Of Trinity
bay is the largest in the world for the
propagation of Goldfish and HOLSTERS, and
capable of Matching 300. OO0, 900 of cod
and 200, 000, 900 Holsters in a single sea
son.
A single mother lobster canstow away
no less than 10000 eggs, and she carries
these about with her until they are III
pened and Matched The lobster trapper
takes these mother fish and carries them
to the factory, where they are thrown
into boiling water, and of course the eggs
are destroyed. The quantity of lobster
ova that perish in this way is beyond
Ill calculation, and is one great cause Of
depleted fisheries.
Mr.. Harvey thus describes Mr.. Mel
sens ingenious methods: He gets the fe-
male lobster at the factories before they
are boiled, and with a sort of spoon con-
structed for the purpose he strips the
eggs from the ibrils and returns the lob
ster uninjured. he takes the eggs,
which are not nearly so delicate as those
of the cod, and places them in the incu-
bators, where the water is kept in con-
slant motion.
After a time, longer or shorter ac-
cording to the degree of ripeness they
have reached before being removed from
the mother, these ova are Matched. With
some of them only two days are required;
in the case of others less advanced a
month or even two months may be
needed to hatch them. Unlike the cod
the young lobster must be fed, for it has
no yolk sac to feed on when it breaks
from the shell. Mussels chopped fine,
with occasionally a few yoIks Of eggs,
furnish food ON which they grow rapid
ly, and in five or six days they have gone
through their first Smelling and are fit to
be set free in the water 10 pick up their
W living.
Mr.. Nielsen has invented floating in
cubators to be placed in the water near
the lobster factories which are scattered
around the shores. In these incubators
the eggs are placed and attended to by
men properly instructed. He has 432 of
these floating ~incubators distributed this
year at thirteen different stations
t~hirty-six at each They are reported to
be working admirably. There would be
no serious difficulty involved in making
similar experiments upon our own coast,
and we understand that the energetic
minister of marine already has the prof.
ect under Observation-Disclosures Her
aid.
, 1890-10-24


Very few of those who watched the
torpedo boat Cushing as she took her
spins around the harbor, or as she ap-
peared in her cradle in the dry dock, re-
allied how trying is service on board the
little vessel, even in time Of peace.
When the Gushing is under way the
temperature in the little engine room
gets up to anywhere from 100 to $50
degs., and in the narrow quarters where
in the twenty-three officers and men are
slowed the thermometer for hours at a
time will register 100. But such things
must be when you put 1 roo horse power
machinery into a boat of only ninety
tons displacement and the safety valves
are set to blow off at ESQ. The fire room
of the Gushing when she is making her
highest speed, 91.4 miles IN hour, must
give the unfortunate men in it a vivid
idea OF how salamanders feel.-Boston
Transcript.
, 1890-10-24

PARIS, Texas, Oct. 23.-The message
OF Chief Perryman to the council of the
Creek Nation. nowin session at Ocmulgee,
makes mention Of the law enacted by con
gress, by which Western tribes may allot
lands preparatory to admission as citizens
into the American republic. He then
adds; Thus the rights, privileges and
authority of the Five Nations are infringed
upon and curtailed at almost every session
of congress. 1t would hardly be fair to
charge congress with malice towards the
Indians, or wiliful disregard of their in
terests. The general policy of the gov.
rnmen toward the Indians is one of
humanity and charity. The fault lies in
the Ignorance Of our would-be benefactors
as regards the true condition and needs OF
the Intians. This congress-, through its
misdirected zeal TOR the betterment of the
condition OF the Indians, has handicapped
our most laudaDle efforts for se~lf-govern-
ment and self preservation. The United
States must be constantly informed of our
condition, and continually reminded of
the sacred treaty obligations she has en-
tered into with us in the past. 1t is
recommended, therefore, that strong
delegation be sent to Washington to rep
resent our nation during the next session
OF congress.
, 1890-10-24

Squire Tyrrel, of Cincinnati, makes an
interesting correction OF history IN regard
to the great naval battle in Mobile, in 1854
He says: at is said that Farragut mount
ed the mast and dashed himself fast. He
did nothing of the kind. l was within
twenty feet Of him as we entered the chan
mel. / stood on the spar deck amidshfps
on the Metacomet, and he was mounted
upon the cross OF the mast of the Hartford.
There was a rope dangling from this place,
and he gave it a hitch about his waist and
held the end in his hand. Dur positions
were as though l stood in the street and
he were IL the crossbar Of a telegraph pole
ten feet away.n
, 1890-10-24

One Of the most serious obstacles to
success in the way of man is planted
right in the middle oil the road to health.
How to restore and maintain a regular
habit OF body and digestion is too often a
source Of needless and, unhappily, of
vain inquiry. 1t is not necessary to
inyeigh against drastic purgatives. They
who have used them continuously know
the consequences. A remedy which unites
the action OF a regulating medicine for
the bowels with that of a tonic both for
those organs, the liver and stomach. is
Hostetter's Stomach Bitters. sanctioned
by the best medical authority, and re-
ceiving daily the endorsement of our
country men. With this effectual,
though gentle, laxative at hand. it is
possible to defy those changes oftempera-
ture productive OF constipation, as well as
constitutional attacks OF biliousness,
which beset ever people naturally healthy.
Malaria, dyspepsia, rheumatism and
kidney troubles are remedied and pre-
vepted by the Bitters.
, 1890-10-24

Mr.. Dashboard Poore the other even
ing invited u few friends to dinner.
During the repast Howells, one of the
guests, while roaring over one of Poore's
bon mots, accidentally knocked one Of
those fashionable hook glasses off the
table, and 1t smashed upon the floor.
No one seemed to take notice of the in
cident except Tommy, the %preoocious
pride Of his mothers heart, who ex-
claimed; "oh, mamma, it's one of those
glasses we borrowed from Mr.. Robin
son, next door."-Jewelers' Circular.
, 1890-10-24

ARE you GOING EAST,

If SO you will ask for tickets via
WABASH LINE.
WHY2 Because in the first place it is
to many of the principal cities of the East
the
SHORT LINE, and because on all
trains there are, free to all, new and ele-
CANT
RECLINING CHAIRS and, from
points in the Rocky Mountain region, on
all through trains, o.
THROUGH PULLMANS, and, to cap
the climax Of luxury, all trains are fed on
DINING CARS.
@. NJ. HAMPsoN,
Commercial Agent, Denver, Col.
1927 Seventeenth Street.
, 1890-10-24

In Chatham it will be noticed that
there are on many barns and many out
buildings signs which, to the uninitiat-
ed, are, of themselves, meaningless.
They have fantastic names carved upon
them, such as Flying Cloud" MAR
guerite," etc. They are all that are left
of ono gallant ships that have been
wrecked OF the bars and shoals off Chat
ham. Many there are of these.-Prov-
incetoyyn Beacon.
, 1890-10-24
ArrangIng Tor a lockout of salIors.

Arranging LOT a bochout OF sallors.
LONDON, Oct 2S.--At a meeting of
the Sunderland branch Of the shipping
federation yesterday 1t was stated that the
central authority in London was arrang-
irg for a general lockout should the SAIL
ors persist in their hostile attitude.
The shipping Gazette says on this sub
iect: Should such a desperate remedy
be necessary, ship owners will have no
difficulty in making out their case. They
can show that their business is being
ruined by the TYRANNY OF unionism. The
prospect of an immense federation of
every trade remotely connected with ship
ping has convinced the owners that some
thing must be done promptly. 1t is bet
ter to have a short, sharp decisive strug-
gle now than to make a further surrender
at the dictation OF men as INSCRIPTIONS
as they are tyranuical."
The Times confirms the truth OF the
statement that inquiries have been
started as to the practicability of a gen.
eral laying up of vessels in British ports.