Waterbury evening Democrat. [volume] (Waterbury, Conn.) 1887-1895, 1890-11-29
The LlMEklLN CLUB.

plug of tobacco, and he had no trouble
in arriving at the conclusion that an
other attempt-the fourteenth-had
been made to destroy Paradise Hall
He raised no alarm, however, and said
not a word until Brother Gardner ar
rived. The result of their whispered
conversation was that, after the meet
ing had been opened in due form, the
president looked up and down the hall
and queried:
"Air Brudder Clings tone Davis pres
emit tonight"
HE am" answered a voice, and the
brother arose.
"You will step dis way. Now, Brud-
der Davis, hold up your heels"
''W-what fur, sah?"
''Kase l want to see EN-"
Clingstone reluctantly exposed the
soles of his broad shoes. One of them
had a new heel.
"Brudder Davis, what was you doin'
when you losted dat ole heel?" asked
the president.
Fell down, sah."
Didn't fall into de b'ar-trap, did
you@'
"N-no, sah."
What was you doin' on de stair
way ?"
81 dun forgot my pipe, an cum back
to look fur it
''Y-e-s, see. Brudder Davis, has
got word or two to say to you. know
you to be lazy, shiftless an sort O.
wicked. has had my eye on you fur
hull var past. Oar am no doubt in my
mind dat you had some wicked objick
in view in tryin' to git into dis hall
l can't prove it, an so we can't bounce
you out O. de club. 1t am plain huff.
howeber, dat you orter receive solemn
warnin' to check you in your mad ca
reer."
lie mighty sorry, sah."
Oats no excuse. Brudder Giveadam
Jones, you will take dis pusson out into
de ante-room an gin him series of
electric shocks to rouse his moral senti-
ments. De shocks better be purity
heavy, as his is hard case.''
Clingstone didn't return to the hall
after the performance, which Giveadam
Jones saidew a great success.
"Air Brudder Hardfinish Smith heah
tonight" asked the president after
the other case had been disposed Of
The brother was at the back of the
hall, shoe off and working at callous
about as big as a silver dollar. He got
into shape as soon as possible, his eyes
bullying out with excitement and when
he stood before the platform the presi-
dent said:
"Brudder Smith, l understand you
is foolin' around wild politics good
deal"
mo sah."
Didn't you help run a ward caucus
las week?'
II went around dar, but didn't run
uuffin.'
Didn't pass along by dat caucus
an hear you whoopin' fur somebody"
'T'j ist hollered once"
''Brudder Smith, have a word or two
of advice fur you. De mex time you
whoop fur any white man in politics,
doan' do it fur fifty cents. Doan' do it
fur less'n ten dollars. Whoop fur
Guild candydate fust, but if you can't
find one, den whoop fur white man.
Doan' walk around on de rim of polly
ticks. De men who do dat ar mean an
cheap. Go right in to de fullness an
de nastiness of it. Lie, deceive an
cheat. Make yourself so solid dat you
will be power in de town, an chen if
de bigger fish despise you, dey will not
dare show it. AS dis club has no polly
ticks an no use fur politicians, you
needn't cum heah no mo-"
"But doan' want no pollyticks pro-
tested Hardhnish.
But you has got 'em already"
Den lie gwine to drap 'em. It's de
las time eber whoop."
''Well, we'll gin you show. You can
sot down, but you'd better walk mighty
soft. We hain't no room here fur bum
mers."
Brother Smith had only taken his
seat when the president inquired if
Brother Convulsive Jones was in the
hall. He was. He was asked to step to
the front, and when he got there Brother
Gardner said:
"Brudder Jones, 1 understand you is
gwine to move ober to de Staff of Ohio?"
Eyes, sah.'
"An' when you git dar' you is gwine
to be married?"
Eyes, sah."
"Dat is good an we'll. We shall be
sorry to lose you from active member
ship in de club, but we shall be pleased
ober your good fortune. In gwine to
new place, an among new people, dar'
am sartin things you orter observe
''Doan' wear too much plated watch
chain.
'Doan' hev too many kinds of re-
ligion.
''Doan' attempt to vote wild all par
ties.
Remember dat three-dollar dia-
mond pin doan' make up for wipin' your
nose on YER elbow,
IF de rest of de people walk on de
sidewalk you shouldn't take de middle
of de road, chen if it is de safest. In
gittin married, Brudder Jones, doan' ex-
peck your wife to be an angel. Doan'
emagine dat matrimony is all love an
no heavy bread. Be boss of de cabin,
but doan' be tyrant. Cultivate de inn
preston dat you know heap, but doan'
git de idea dat your wife is an idiot.
"Doan' start in at de top. You is a
pore man, an you has got to make your
way. It is better to hev five bushels Of
Eaters in de cellar dan a seben-foot