The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1890-07-30
iUMOR.
TIE after-clap-An encore.

SPEAKING about circular letters
o is one.
AMILK misunderstanding the driver
of wagon.
II CAN'T see what YOU are driving
at, +" was the remark of blind horse.
| This is a hard set" as the hen said
when she was trying to hatch a porce-
lain egg.
FIRST fisherman - What luck?
Second fisherman-None at all; can't
get the cork out.
WnL-Don't you think Miss Plain
homely? BILL used to think so be-
fore | learned she was an heiress.
SWELL, Tommy. do YOU know that
you have got another little brother this
morning." "Oh! have /. Does mother
know"
BLLINGs-Well, my boy, are YOU
satisfied with married life? Benedict
Satisfied? Why, l am perfectly
satated with it.
"WHAT shall we do to get our Young
men to the front 2" asks a writer. The
ones TO take back seats
SHE do believe Grace Thorndike
gets engaged to as many as twenty fell
lows every summer. He-Aha A kind
of three days grace, as it were.
AN old sailor at the navy yard OBJ
served that there Is one advantage in
Arctic explorations In the face of the
grayest perils one can always keep
: cool.
A MATTER of paste-"Ye see Missus
! Stookey's d'monds yit?" "Yes; but L
b'lieves dey's paste" Il shouldn't
wondah. Her mans billposter, any
how, We know"
MINISTER would not consult Elder
Close on the subject. He never gives
assent to anything. Deacon-.No. I've
noticed that when the collection plate
is passed around.
"WHAT's the reason, doctah, that YOU
signs yourself Jawge Washington
Jones, Z. ID. o." Dose we're lettahs
my title l amt no simple NJ. d. Ise
a Pill Doctor of Cluinine In de swamps. "
CIRCUMsTANTIAL evidence Mrs. Yer
! ger 60 colored servant)-Do YOU know
when Col. Yerger came home last
night? SAM dunno mum, but when
] tuck his boots at o'clock, they
was warm.
JOHNNY, Johnny" said the minis
ter, as he met an urchin one Sunday
afternoon carving a string of fish. DO
those belong to YOU" "Ye-yes, sir,
you see that's what they got for chas-
| ing worms on Sunday"
SHE-Oh, just look at that bonnet,
Clarence! buy it for me, there's
a dear It's the dearest little thing in
the world. HehOne moment. Does
the superlative adjective refer TO the
price, or to the bonnet?
"JoHN," said Mrs Billus. anxiously,
you whipped Willie too hard. His
spirit is utterly broken What makes
YOU thiak so?" inquiroi Mr. Billus
"He asked me little while ago if I
didn't want TO cut his hair"
Mrs. MERRITT-I hear your daughter
lost her place as typewriter. Did she
make so me mistake? Mrs. Badger
Yes, she fell in love with one Of the
clerks before she had given her en-
ployer time enough to take Il liking to
! her.
COMPROMISE.
| Och. Father OReillv," says Patrick, so slyly,
| Its howly Saint Peter I wish you could be;
| Ierself I'm that station wud be- my saliva ion
Ye'd let into heavin the likin's OF me-
NO, Patrick; don't fatter yourself on thai
| Inatther,"
Says Father O'Reilly, Il know ye too we'll
But for yer consolu' I'd best be controllin
! The gates OF the diyil TO bar ye from hell
| Mr.. GoTHAM-It is time for us 10
start for Mrs. De AveHoos ahem
! Don't you think YOU ought to spruce
up a little? Col Kaintuol1 (of Louis
ville)-Oh ah Yes, certainly. Just
wait moment until l take fresh
quid and reverse my cuffs.
"PRoGREssIvE conversation parties
have been introduced as a new form of
amusement. A progressive CONVEX
sation party takes place when three
young ladies meet for the first time in
| three days; and when q man finds that
his wife has used his razor to open a
fruit can, he's that kind OF party"
all by himself.
WHIFFERs-Ah! How 40 YOU do
| Well, out with it, old man. What sue
cess? You said YOU were going back
to your native town to hunt up your
first love, from whom you parted years
ago-the airy, fairy Lillian you rayed
about, you know. Did you find her?
Differs (sadly)-Y-e-s. She's drawing
$50 week MS the champion fat woman