Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1890-12-06
A CATS MANY USES
From the Point Of View of Small boy.
No Opinion from the Cat.

~ rum tftt 4sCtU QfE W 6tEtY.
The cat lives in the house what
time she does not live over to Jones's
barn. She is real handy t, throw
stones at and to pull her tail and
make her squawk. / make our cat
squawk 10 or 6 times every day, and
the backs of my hands is drawed out
in lines like map, where her toe
nails has got hitched.
fl had invented cat | should
have made her without them nails.
Cats is full of music. They have
concerts every night on our wood
shed, and no tickets to pay for. The
rich and the poor are alike welcome
to hear 'em.
Cats live on mice and white cream.
and beefsteak they can steal out of
the pantry. Sometimes they catch
chickens and that makes the old hen
mad, and the old woman that owns
the chickens madden. And she goes
for the cat with a broom, and the
cat climbs tree and sits there and
laffs at her, and goes to sleep and
dreams she is a kitten again, till it
comes night, and then she climbs
down back end fust and goes off to a
concert to see the other cats. Thomas
cats has the best voices and can sing
bass and tenor both at once. 1t is
nice to hear 'em, but when you sleep
alone and wake up sudden by hearing
of 'em there is something or ruther
about it that makes feller's flesh
creep and the cold shivers run down
his backbone.
Cats can climb telegraph poles and
set on the ridge poles of four-story
houses without being dizzy headed;
and they can sleep with one eve open
and lay awake with both eyes shut,
and they can walk as soft as a feath-
er and they can run like chain light
ening. They don't like to swim, and
they never do, unless it is an old cat
that you want to get rid of, and you
do her up in bag with some bricks;
and throw her into the mill pond, off
the bridge; and then she'll bust the
bag and swim ashore and kite for
home, SOS to be there to welcome
you when you get there, SOS you
won't feel lonesome.
Cats like to get on the spare bed,
among the shams and things, and
paw 'em all down into nest, and
they like to go to sleep in your best
coat I expect they enjoy the fun of
hearing you swear next day when
you brush it. / should If was cat
Kittens is cats when they are first
born, and there is an awful sight Of
'em. They keep coming right along
without regard to wind and weather.
They are dreadful cute and can
unwind more thread and tear up
more fancy gimcracks that the girls
make than any other known animal.
1t amt lucky to kill cat. | don't
know why. 1t is good luck to have
one come to you if you keep her.
You get rich right away, or poor, /
forget which. Every cat has nine
lives, and they don't never die il let
alone, unless they have fits, which
most of 'em has. A cat in fit will
beat whole circus all to nothing, and
the first thing you know she'll come
right out of it and go to drinking
milk, just as if nothing had happen
ed.
Tommy Jones and took Fannie 5
box of colors, which she is learning
to paint plates and sugar bowls with,
and we got mammals blue satin dress
that she wore to the Grovernor's ball
last winter, and cut out a piece be.
hind right under the overskirt, where
it wouldn't show, and didn't hurt it
a mite, and we stretched it over a
shingle to make panel picture, and
Tommy drawed a hog on it, and a
sunflower beside him to smell of, and
he held our cat and | dipped her tail
in one of Fans paints, and it made
a beautiful brush, and had nearly
got the hog painted red when Tom
my wanted to know who was the art
ist, or the cat. / said / was, of
course, and he said of course was
not, and he kept saying it, and he
got mad, and the cat she got mad,
and she nigh about chawed Tommy's
hand off and dug for the barn with
ore of them coior-tubes sticking to
the end of her tail.
We streaked it after her, and Tom
my sed that l wasn't any artist at
all, and that made me bile over, and
| clinched him, and over we " ent in
to hens nest, where there was
hen setting on thirteen eggs, which
father gave Sc for. And just as the
smash occurred the old man arrived
on the scene and made It lively for
me.
He needn't have been stirred upi
Them eggs never would have hatch
ed Fancy eggs never does. They
are all billed before they are sold.
Some time, when I have chance,
/ will tell you something more about
cats.
He Probably Did.