The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-14
BRIGHT BITS.

A DISMAL OUTLOOK FOR NEW YoRK.-''Pa,
what makes it rain so muchs''
don know, Charlie, unless it is because
New York IS under cloud just now on account
OF TINS lar business. "-Terds Siftings.
SATIsFAcToRY.-Mr Rich-My daughter. 1
wish you would busy yourself about something
and not be for ever reading those silly novels.
put my dear father, you ought to be per
Iectly contented that you have such wealthy
heiress for daughter. ~ lie0ende BIatter.
81 SEE you've got new man in your en-
Yes
Il should say so. He'll stick to any kind of a
story you may wish him TO Washington
Post
MRs. BRowS-Johnny broke a pane of glass,
but as he told me about it at once gave him
an apple.
Mrs. Cobwigger-That will teach him a great
lesson.
Mrs. Brown-I am afraid not AS soon as he
had eaten the apple he went and broke another
wlndow.-1he Epoch.
GovERNoR-I want you to accept prominent
ana mighty honorable position within my gift.
CItlzen-What's the pay?
emoluments.''
Then l can't take it, 1 really haven't the
ability to fill an Office which has no salary at
tached. Chicago Times.
THE Young LADIES'
Young ladies-would you guess it!-are like ar
rows, don't you know,
They cannot pierce single heart until they get
beau: AZ
And like the arrows, which without bow can
nothing do.
Young ladies, till they get beau, are in CULVER,
too. Oakland (Cdl.) Echoes.
LITTLE TOMMY had spent his first day at
What did you learn?''L asked his auntie, on
| his return.
Didn't learn anything" said Tommy
We'll. what did you do?''
Didn't do anything. A woman wanted to
know how to spell cat and l told her. Lon
don It'd Bits.
HoFFMAN-I don't believe word of that ma
hcious story the fellows are telling on Adonis
Greatshape
| Madison Squeer-what is it?
Why. they say that at the last club entertain
| ment, when the speaker quoted the words
| beauty unadorned is most adorned" Denny
| ripped off his coat and called out, Take my
| clothes, there, mister; l don't want emf
american Grocer.
BE SocIAI--"Farmers, be social with your
cattle, " is the advice given by agricultural
| Journal. We never considered the subject be-
| fore, but we see now how farmers miss it. They
could nave good deal of fun with their cattle
| II they would only be more social. When they
| nave company in the evening they should ask
| thelr oxen in TO join in the conversation. A
| game of checkers with the old brindle COW
| would enliven dull evening. Teras Siftip0s.
| (severely)-There was no base ball news in the
| paper to-day.
Local Man-But SIR base ball isn't played in
the winter, and I've exhausted all the new club
rumors, new association fakes, and reports of
possible changes of one sort and another There
isn't a scrap more l can get hold of.
Then print the old scraps over again, You
don't suppose l want to lose all my subscribers,
do you?-Neio York Weekly.
SLEEPING-cAR PoRTER-Had a pleasant trip,
sab?
Passenger getting into his overcoat)-De-
lghtful!
Porter-Nothin' happen to mar your pleas
ure, sab?
Passenger Nothing whatever. Came through
safe and sound.
Porter Gnsinuatingly)- gem
like to give small fee sab, to
Passenger-Good idea. I'll hand something
to the engineer.-Nel0 York Weekly.
TIRED OF PRAYING FOR Hmm a certain
church not 1000 miles away, there is drunk
ard whose case has been made the subject of
special prayer in the minister's family for some
time The other day, little golden-haired Elsie,
years old, came down stairs looking rather
pale.
What is the matter, darling? Are you sick?"
asked the mother.
NO" replied the infant, with a toss of her
head. But I'm just tired to death praying for
that Observation-Disclosures Free Press