The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-10-05
Inc Arent's Expense account.


A few days ago. while waiting in coun-
try hotel, the writer fell in with the advance
agent of barn-stormi aggregation. says
the Chicago Tribune, whom he had known
In other and happier days when the agent
was not an agent
us there much money in position like
this p was asked.
The fellow, like "Yorick," has good
deal of jest to his sorrow. Elevating his
feet against the wal asc citing, he said:
"Legitimately, no. The agent who goes
out ahead ON salary will return before
many days on foot, sore aud downhearted.
Ii he would thrive he must work the ex-
pese account. An agent who understands
his business can do this, and he needn't lose
any sleep on account of his conscience Let
me run off a few actual expenses: Postage
WELL say a dollar for each one night stand.
You think it high. No. 1t is astonishing
how the postage-stamp dealer in a one horse
town thrives on his profits on postage. Two
two-ceat stamps for nickel,
four for dime / have many
letters to write every day. Then there's
the telephone account. Ten cents q
hello You know how often man has
to yell through telephone. And you
know that in a town like this, where You
do not know people, you can find them
much castor by telephone than camel can
| go through the eye of needle. / used to
get in good deal on tolls and ferry
transportation. But that was in the good
old days. You know, maybe, that foot
man on tollroad goes through the gate for
| nothing; man on horseback, 5 cents; man
and one-hoTse buggy, 10 cents. | always
went through in buggy when / walked,
| and you can imagine what a profit
| there was in the business. l forgot my
self not long ago and put in some tolls on
my account. But the home concern locked
me aud wrote back that | had better stop
| walking. But | explained that there was
| wreck on the road, ana in order to make
my town so as to get all of the bill boards
! (ahead of the other fellow | had to hire
team and 60 over an old toll road. 1t
hadn't been a toll-road for twenty years
until that accident. And as soon as the old
gatekeeper heard of the wreck he crawled
out of the grave put up the red flag and
| played toscrowded teams until the railroad
was repaired. The home office allowed me
extras after this explanation.
1.-THE manager at home has great anti
| patty to cigarettes Says he won't have
man who smokes them. When | was max
ing my contract with him | vas smoking
cigarette. For heavens sake, ne said,
quit smoking cigarettes if You are going
to travel for me l says: 'Gov'nor, I've
got to smoke and can't afford cigars. 'Tll
furnish EN- he says. 'Buta mean cigar S
worse than a cigarette, | says. Iknow it,
he says. You needn't smoke mean ones
L can't afford to smoke good ones,' says.
'l'll furnish 'em, he says. 81 want you to
act like gentleman, and if you keep on
smoking cigarettes I'll have to pay for
burying you somewhere on the road and
the country undertaken would gouge me-
well, the gov'nor was right about that.
He probably knows that l will gouge him,
for he is no fool. But he knows me, and it
is always more pleasant u be gouged by
friend or a man you know than by
stranger. So | enter up, Two imported, 25
cents You are smoking one OF them now.
You know what it cost. You know | can
buy dozen of them for 25 cents They are
not a bad cigar, however Fact is, you
can't get good cigar in a country town.
But | have told you enough of my business.
have missed my train, and by walking
around for the balance of the day I'll be-
able to ring in about 81 more for hotel ex-
penses. The homo office doesn't expect me
TO starve."