The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-12-06
BRIGHT BITS

Il IS not CONSIDERED good form TO bring a
gun VITA you when you are iIVlIed TO go On u
toooggsu shnte. The Weeks Sport.
THE EARLIEST INSTANCE Of gambling known to
history was Wuea p4tr-O dice was thrown up
Uy Adam add Eve.-St. Joseph NepS.
WAX Dig man in a little town moves TO a
larger town. he Is putting himself in position
- learn his hrst biz lesson in humiliation -
-4tchisOn Globe.
WHAT is the solution Of the negro proOlems
demanded the orator
-Four eleven forty -four replied man ia the
suOlence.-AetG YORK sun.
ALPHoNso-Do you know. Miss Maud, waallv
had half a mind lahst night.
Mss haud-O, why cldn't you call on me last
night:-Dstlott Free Press
THERE viii be Goodnight in the next House.
but no Moonlight The former was elected from
kentucky. but the lHtter VINO was in a Kansas
uistrcJ, failed 70 pul through Indianapolis
Journal.
BowsER-Pulers is an enterprisng doctor,
isn't hes
WaggIes-Yes indeed Why. he has motto
hung up IN his office Patients are a virtue
HdTpeT'S BdZaT.
AFTER An INVOLUNTARY CHASsE-B rown-Ras
he resigned!
Gray
Brown-Is he Resigned,
'iray-No. --SomerrtHe Journal.
II THE BARRIERS mad charged by the inch-run-
nlng Ineasare-th7 lay after the election, there
would have been considerable difference in the.
price or shaving Of interested politicians Of the
TWO great parties. Delhi Express.
Il srRrcE St Louis on this trip remarked
chicago commercial traveller to his em
ployer as ne uupacked his boxes
That S night re Jlied the latter ~ hope
you hit the old town hard ''-LHfcayo inter
Ocean.
TEMPERANCE ADVOCATE 10 dissipated young
man III Wound DC WORTH a fortune TO you If
you would swear Oft drinking
Young Man-All mistake boss I've a.
sworn on fity times "A year, and ain'r worth
cent.-TerJs Slft!Aqs
Il NEVER saw d man that knows less
He isn't very brilliant, that's true"
Why | remember last winter when had
such severe cold, he the only man met
that didn't know and tell me sure cure for it
| right on. p iiddetphad Times
CALLER-Whst do you think Of the Berlin
idea o. uni'orming reporters:
American Edltor-Pnt reporters in uniform:
Nonsense I informed reporters would be of
no more use IA detecting crime than 30 many
/ policemen.-NeV York Weekly.
PAPA. wish you would buy me alltte pony, F."
said Johnny.
II haven got any money 10 buy you a pony.
| my son. You s1ouid 20 to school regularly my
/ son, study hard, and become smart man and
| some OF these days, when you grow up. You
viii nave money OF your own To buy ponies
| with
Then, suppose. pa, you didn't study much
| when you were little boy like me, or else you
| would have had money now to buy ponies with
/ wouldn you. pa; Squire Moments.
| The PROFESSOR at the dinner tabel-Oh by
| way, Mrs Chopstcks, have you seen your little
| boy, Willie, lately:
Mrs. Chopsticks-No, professor, l have not
! seen him since 10 O'Clock, and / can't imagine
| what has become of him. In fact, l am very
| much worried about him.
Professor-Well, seeing Martha pour me out
| that glass OF water Just now reminded me of
| something that had on my mind to tell you
some time ago. but which, unfortunately,
| escaped my mind. IL was just about 90 O'Clock
think, that saw little Willie fall down the we'll
Boston Cottoef
AwEsTERS MAN who owns an immense estate
| in Dakcta. spent three months in England dur
| ing the present year. For many weeks be heard
nothing from the man whom he had left in
charge or his farms. and he became somewhat
anxious. He was an illiterate person. though
an excellent farmer, and the wording OF teie
gram puzzled him At last he sent on this
message: is things all right at the farm
lmpatiently be awaited the reply. His trusty
repre- sentative wss man OF few words and
rigid ideas of economy. and the envelope which
his employer received in due course contained
simply this message: Things Is. "-INuslrdted