Smyrna times., 1890-04-30
Following Directions.
AN OLD SETTLERS FAST EXPERIENCE
ON A SOUTHERN RAILROAD.

"Im gwine to Staunton. to nv
grandsOn's Pete Rawlins," said an old
man in a long yellow coat and billy
goat beard. know him ?"
Nope" said the conductor.
Know any of his folks down in
StauntOn ?"
Just then the whistle blew. and the
old man jumped up and tried to get
past the conductor, who held him
down by main strength. The white
hair of the old cracker" fairly stood
on end, and it was several minutes be-
fore he calmed down enough to count
his change.
At the next station when the train
stopped, he gathered up his belong
ings and made for the door, but was
stopped before he could get of. This
attempt he made at every station, and
finally the conductor went to him
saying Look here, old man, you list
set still and don't move till you hear
the brakeman hOller StauntOn, then
you get off! See ?"
He sat there awhile quietly, and
then began to question the rest of the
passengers as to their acquaintance
MA1b kDluuulOu anu llH DGODle.
Thinking could derive some enter
tainment from him, changed my seat
to the front of his, and turning around,
addressed some words to him with an
amiable and seductive smile.
He looked at me a moment and
sOlemnly took his musty leather wal
let from his side pocket and thrust it
deep down into his boot, saying:
Now, then, young man, what you
want to know, eh?"
This action set the entire car full of
people roaring with laughter and
almost brought blush to nv cheek.
which sensation had scarcely gone
when the brakeman opened the door
and yelled "StauntOn p
We were at the moment crossing a
trestle, about fifty feet in height, upon
the slanting, heavily wooded side of a
mountain. We could look down the
hillside over the tree tops and see a
silvery stream threading its winding
way through black and dark swamp,
The old settler rose quickly at the
sound of the brakeman's voice, packed
up his belongings, and, going to the
platform, stepped right off.
AS we passed we got one glimpse of
him sailing down. Somebody pulled
tie bell-rOpe, stopping the train at
once, and relief party was organized.
which went down the mountain side
until we came to the spot where he
struck first, a tall hemlOck. It looked
| like gigantic Christmas tree.
Pendant from its branches were
socks, collars, handkerchiefs, chewing
tobacco, chickens, rolls of butter, fancy
! goods, ham, sandwiches, boots and
shoes, notions, suspenders, shoe laces,
band-boxes, samples of cloth, hard
ware and gents furnishing goods.
Further down the hillside we found
some patent medicine bottles, the old
umbrella, the butter crock and the
plug hat. Then we reached the old
man, who was up to his waist in black
mud, busily engaged in washing the
same mud from a whiskey flask which
he had somehow managed to retain in
his pocket through all his exciting
flight.
He was as cool as a cucumber, and,
when we yanked him out of the mud,
remarked; This yere railroad travel
ing do beat hell, don't ?"
We climbed up the hill, gathering
his belongings as we proceeded, and
when we arrived at the train the CON
ductor angrily inquired: "What in
thunder did you mean by jumping off
like that?
why, my friend. !" blaudly answered
he of the goat-like beard and shattered
garments, ''you told me yourself to get
of when l heard the brakeman hnller
'Staunton, and l got off,"