Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-09-12
PITH AND POINT.

A Sinking Fund-A we'll digger's .
treasury. Breeze
The tramp always comes before dinner
when he comes after dinner Bingham.
ton Leader.
The man who is ''drivcn to drink" is
often hauled to the police station.-Mor-
ristorn Herald.
A prosccnium box in theatre would
often best be known rs chatter box
Washington Post. Il
"Goaway, you nasty tramp" "NIndam,
am no tramp. am peripatctic from
Boston. y Chatter.
'Shc is not pretty. You said she was
as pretty as n picture" "Oh, we'll, L.
meant an amateur photograph. "-Ne,o
York. Sun.
When a man mcnds the error of his
ways it will usually be found that it was
woman who sewed on the patches
Ateai'on Globe.
In Congress First Bill-sTt seems
to me we ought to be acquainted with
each other" Second Bill-"Yes, we'vo
been introduced. - Vest Shore. 4
Bilious-"I sleep in feathers, but 1 be-
icvc it's unhealthy" Tuffnut- "What's
that9 Look at the spring chicken; SEQ
how tough he is. "-Bostoa Herald. ~
Briggs-"Tompkins is engaged to q
widow, hear" Braggs that's
just like him. He is too lazy to do any
of the counting. -Terre Haute cypress
Old Lady-"Ah, you bad boy, drag
GIN your little brother along like thatg
S'posin' you was to kill him2" Bad Boy
-"Dou't care. Got another indoors,
FIN. s
Customer-s'I should like to see some
of your checks for this season." Tailor
Eyes, sir, certainly, and should like
to sec some of yours for last. "-bumny
Folks. -''s-->s d +
Wife (reproachfully)-"You married
me for my money!" Husband (suayely)
-"No, my dear, you forget-you hadn't
Inherited it then. 1 only took the
chances. '-Epoch. i
Why He kcd.-North Sidcr-"I
am awfully tired. Had to walk homo
again" Wifc-'What was the mattcr9
Cahic brokc?" North Sidcr-"No,
was. Inter Ocean. : ~
Sunday school Tcachcr-"Well,J John
ny, what would you do if you were
MANI" Johnny-''I'd slug de umpjnx
wot gave Il decision agin Twirly Sam ,ds
oddcr day.-Epoch. Al
A man never gets married so many
times that he will not hold his breath at
the part of the ceremony where those
who have objections are invited to come
forward.-Atcaison Globe. 81
An eminent singer has Just ruined her
voice by getting silver off wooden
toothpick stuck fast in her throat. This
is evidence that it is possible to have too
much timbre in the voice.-DansDiUs
Breeze. ii
81 see that coffee has gone up" re,
marked the boarding house keeper. Tho
star boarder shifted at his cup suspicious
ly. "That won't make any difference to
you" he remarked, with grim smile.
Bazar. "A
"You are fined $1O," cried the fair girl
as the old gentleman poked his head in
the room where she was entertaining her
best beau. "What FORE" inquired pater.
"Contempt of court, of course. "-Mc,o
York Herald. Il
Mrs. Brown-tWas it not sad about
Mrs. Smitha She died this morning
while trying on new dress" Mrs.
Joncs-"No, you don't say sol How
very DREADFUL What was it trimmed
with?"-Jester. Il
elbow do you like the Queens neck,
wear?" asked courtier of Elizabeth's
time, and his ready companion an
swercd; SIT is ruff on the Queen" and
thus originated popular saying
Boston Bulletin. q,
Bronson-"Ive had little dispute
with Grablcy. He came down to my
office this morning and appeared to wapY
the Garth" Brand-''Did you let hiM
have it2" Bronson-"Weli, part of it.
gave him the sidewalk. Light.
will hasten, dearest Mabel,
I'll bs with you if Pm able,
Ere the evening insects hum:
II you'll promise Mabel, darling.
That you'll feed the bull dog, snariing--
Feed him well before l come.
Washington Post
a small boy of four summers was rid.
ing on rocking horse with q compan-
ion. Ho was seated rather uncomfort!
ably on the horses neck After reflect
tive paused he said: ~ think if one of
us gets off could ride much better."-
San Francisco CALI
A small boys composition on Gum.
brcllas' states that ''Umbrellas were in-
troduced in the rain of George the Third,
which was disastrous one in many par.
ticulars, being the time when the Declara-
ton of Independence was signed by the
400 and about the date when George
Washington could not tell lie. - Com
mercial Adeertiser