davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-03-07
The Mountain Sphinx.

In Surrey County, N. c., there is n re-
markablc natural curiosity in the shape
of mountain resembling the famous
sphinx of Egypt in all its details. 1t lies
east of the Blue Ridge mountains, on the
Piedmont plains, like a gigantic lion; its
body at right angle to the ridge and with
head reared aloft as if in the act of rising.
The head is of solid rock, several hun
drcd feet in height. The shoulder and
breast are finely proportional and at the
distance of few miles it looks like II
thing of life and intelligence. 1t rises
about 1900 feet above the plain, and can
be seen for distance of many miles,
Seientifc Ameriran.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-03-07
A Duel Of Politeness.

Old Judge Fernald, of Santa Barbara,
has the reputation of being the politest
man in California. He never loses an
opportunity to doff his hat or to offer
some slight attention to wayfaring men
and women. One day, as he was about
to take the train for San Francisco, he
reached the rear steps of the last car just
us they were approached by young
priest.
"After the CLOTH" said the chivalric
Judge stepping back with "a courtly
bow.
"Gray hairs have the preference re-
turned the priest with splendid wave of
the hand.
"Thc church always has precedence"
retorted the Judge, taking another back
ward step, hat in hand.
''The church follows in the footsteps
OF the fathers" replied the priest, bow
ing low and indicating the way to the
steps.
The duel of politeness was not half
through, neither yielding an inch, when
the train pulled out, leaving both bow
ing and smiling on the platform. San
Fraacisco Examiner.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-03-07
Trapping Devils in China.

In an article on the Taouist Religion
of the Chinese, writer in the Popular,
Science Monthly, says: If the locality is
wealthy, or has few wealthy men in it,
the priest generally makes out Il strong
case. He may require to call in other
priests in consultation. All this time the
people dwell in morbid fear, pending de-
liyerance. At length the priests an-
nouncc their ultimatum. 1t will require
fee of one hundred tacls (about one
hundred and thi:ty-threc dollars, Ameri-
can money to procure safety. The
money is raised by public subscription
and paid over to the priest in charge.
Then the capture of the devils is the
next step.
A bottle or jar is secured for each
devil, and the priests secure bait in the
shape of imitation gold and silver tinted
paper Called JOSS paper. This paper is
imitation mouey, and when it is reduced
to spirit By being burned, the devils do
not know it from gcn-line money-hcrc
again showing their low mentality-and
t.ey enter the bottle in which the joss
paper has been burned. When they are
thus entrapped the bottle is sealed and
carried away by the priest. Then the
people feel grateful to their dcliverer, and
the priest has again impressed his inpor-
tance to the welfare of the community
and at the same time replenished his bank
account. The "Tsung Ii Yamcn," or
office of the head priest of this sect, is
curiosity. 1t has large halls and rooms
filled with dust-covercd and sealed jars,
IL every one of which is confined devil,
captured in the above unique plan. And
were each and every jar filled with silver,
question if It would equal the sums paid
for the capture of these imprisoned
devils.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-03-07
3 !! fEur sIFTINGs.7

DR.. A. X. Evans, of Pottstown Land.
ing, Penn, has eaten no butter for forty
ono years.
A gold nugget worth 7.5O was found
lin the crop of a grouse that woman was
dressing for dinner at SIMPSONS Mills
Ore.
1t is supposed that in the next Euro,
penn war artillery can oifcotually stay
advancing infantry OF 1000 yards dis
tancc.
Lopers arc still numerous in Norway.
Tho number Is upward of 1000, most of
whom aro found In the scacoast dis
tricts.
A romantic or economical Philudol-
plin couple were married the othor day
on tho river Delaware, in the cabin of a
forryboat.
Charles +. Erb, of Pottstown, Penn,
printer, has achieved local distinction
by eating dozen cinnamon buns In flvo
minutes.
"Gollath," ono of tho famous trees in
California, ls.twenty -thrco foot in diamo;
tor ut the bnsc and estimated to woigh
100, 900 tons.
Forkston, Pcnn., reports meteor "of
great illuminating power" the othor
night, followed by hoavy report and
pcrcoptiblc jarring Of the earth.
Ogdon Goclct, one of Now Yorks
millionaircs, is building n house nj New
port, tho plumbing in which will be all
silvorplaited and will cost $50 900.
Az Plninlleld, Mich, raarriagc liconse
was issued tho other dny to Reuben Skin
ncr, cighty-nvc, and Angclnc Scott,
sixty four. 1t il his second venture and
Angolinc's third.
The description OF missing man
which was sont to the Columbus (Ohio)
police headquarters, contained the state
mont that he was sixty five years old and
small for his ago.
A suniish six and onc-hnlf inches long,
weighing about five and ono half ounces,
has been known to produce in a single
spawn $4,000 eggs, most enormous
number for 40 small fish.
Tho bear which Squire Schlogg re-
Gently. shot near Bridgeport, MI, gavo
about 'oighty families their first taste of
bear meat, and furnished nice rug for
tho Squirc'a daughter Susie.
Tho average watch is composed of IT'S
different pieces, comprising upward of
240O soparatc aud distinct operations ip
its manufacture. The balance Wheel
whirls 3658s miles In ono yoar. ~
The Pipe smoked by the Sandwich
Islanders is made of virgin cork lined
with moerschaum, and is curious by
reason of tho pattern on the cork mado
by insects which food upon the trees.
The thickcst octave volume in tho
world known is the last edition of Whit
aker's "Rofcronce Catalogue of English
Literature" This book, which wcighs
twelve pounds, is eleven inches in thick
ness. Y
Samuel Stone, II Moigs County (Ohio)
farmer, sot some turtles eggs under Il
hen not long since. All the eggs were
hatchcd and the fowl seems to think us
much of the little turtles as II mother hen
usually docs of her chicks.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-03-07
SOME OTHER nom.

"Say," he remarked as he bit Off tho
end of cigar on the rear platform of a
street car. "I used to know this Dom
Pedro, of Brazil, quite we'll"
'Indecd!" exclaimed several men in
chorus.
eyes; used to go to school with him.
Take him all around rs student and he
was considered dull"
"Whcre did you go to school with
HING" asked the man with the big watch
chain
"About six miles from Lacrosse,
Wis"
"Whatl"
cat district school there. In fact,
his father owned farm only mile
from ours
You must be crazy! Dom Pedro was
never in this country except as visitor. {"
ssHe wasn't2"
s"No, sir! He was born and raised in
Brazil. and the throne came to him by
succession"
"Is that so?"
"Of course it is so! What are you
trying to give us?" M
"Well, then, it was some other Dom
Pedro probably. Please excuse me, and
can any of you lend me a match?"-De
tron FIRES Press.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-03-07
"well,' y said old Parlcy, sIl say for

"Well," said old Parlcy, ''I'll say for
you you don't try to cast blame one on
rothcr, and you don't tell fibs"
II wish you could sell us for slaves and
take the money" said Kitty.
''Slavery times are over" said Farley,
cor L could black you up ard do that.
Wcll, gals, I'll look preSy, won't L,
tellin' this to the folks in churcha I'll
look real smart, aud feel so, too. I'll
hev to sell the three acre lot to raise the
amount, guess, and all because trusted
couple of gals. Why, thought your
mas daughters and mine would hcv a
little common sense bora into 'em, but
you hada't, it seems"
"No,' said Kitty, sI haven't"
81 haven't either" said Matte.
"Wcll, come upstairs and let's SEQ
whether you haven't made no mistake, q"
said DIr. Farley.
"I only wish we had, j" said Kitty. But
they followed their father, who was TAX
ing it better than they hoped he would.
There stood the red closet open; there
was the placard on the door.
eyes," said old Farley, "thcm contri-
buttons amt i'll the closet, and YOU must
hcy felt sort of funny when you read that
notice, gals. But did you look under the
bcdstead? It's "a big old fashioned one
with valance-may be the burglar is
there yet" and he laughed. "Look, 4"
said he again. Kitty gave one startled
glance at her fathers face and went on
her knees beside the bed. She threw the
chintz valance back and gave cry.
There were the bundles, the bags. the
rolls the parcels that had vanished from
the red closet, and there, too, was the
cash-box, shining and bright and the
prctticst thing, to Kitty's eyes at that
moment. that she had ever seen
"You see, girls" said old Farley, aa
his daughters dived with joyous squeals
under the queer old heirloom with its
tester and valance, and rcappcarcd with
one thing after the other, 81 did come
home last night. after all, and found
the house empty and all flying, and 1
thought I'd plny n joke on you. prct-
ty near came i'll when you bcllercd so, but
you deserved lesson. slept up garnet
! for oncc-lockcd into the mans room.
Still, for all, will say I'vc found out
you're real good girls TO each other, and
that you sot considerable OH your old
| dad, and you can kiss me-"
''It wasn't bit more than We de-
served" said Kitty. "And don't it feel
nice to have it all turn right after all?"
"Indced it does,' said Matte.
And how old Farley tells that burglar
story down at the store once week on
the averagc.-fdShion Bd-ar.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-03-07
THE USUAL FATE.

"Whcrc is the dashing boardcr
who used to be tho life of tho table when
| was here before, Mrs. Livcrmorca"
asked nn old patron of the house, ad-
dressing the lnudlady.
al married him." was the quiet reply.
"lndccd! Hc was ono of the spright-
lcst follows ever met, always bubbling
over with spirits, and chock full of
stories. Hos away from home, 1 sup
pose; haven't seen him since l re-
turned"
"Hc's ut home; lc has never been
away"
"Indccd where is he thcn?r
Giles in the kitchen washing dishes"
-Boston Courier.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-03-07
THE MERRY SIDE OF LIFE.
SToRIEs THAT ARE TOLD BY THE
FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS.

The Admirable Ian--CIty and Coum-
try Houses Better Than He
Thought For-Far From II, Etc.
He's just a common looking man.
IT'S possible you'd never guess
He's built on such noble plan,
With charms that very fow possess.
But when this ono truth unfold
You'll think him worthy to adore;
Whene'er the weathers drear aud cold
BE never fails to shut tho door.
What's learning, beauty. wealth or fame
Tho gifts of poesy or songs
No one will venerato tho name
OF him who docs fragrant wrong.
The world will never guiltless hold
Him who our earthly pleasures mar;
Twill hiss him who when days arc cold
Forever leaves tho door ajar.
-Chicdgo Herald.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-03-07
RELIEVED FROM JURY DUTY.

Once when Wisconsin circuit judge
was cmpancling jury, he said TINT if
any one wished to be excused from sor-
vice reasons should be givon at once and
their suilciency would be duly consid-
cred. One man had nsick child and an
other sick cow. Presently, after con-
siderable rumination, M Irishman arose.
His faco and attitude bespoke n heavy
sorrow and revcrent humiliation to
Divine Providence. His words were
few and simple: "Jedgc, inc woifc's
did, )" with stomachic emphasis on tho
"did." The judges heart was touched,
aud he said: "Woll, my good man,
guess we'll have to let you go"
Tho Irishman slowly took his hat md
went. When he had gotten his body
well outside of the room he pokcd his
face back through tho nearly closed door,
with triumphant grin, and said:
"Yis, sor; an she's been did fhorty
year"
Tue sheriff was told to let him go, for
the judge WINS Irish himself. .-Epening
Wisconsin.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-03-07
IN THE EVENING

In the evening of our days.
When the first far stars above
= Glimmcr DINNER, through the haze.
Than the dewy eyes of love,
' Shall be mournfully revert
To the vanished Inorns and Mays
Of our youth, with hearts that hu;t
In the evening of our days?
Shall the hand that holds your own,
Till the twain are thrilled as now,
Be withheld, OF colder growny
Shall my kiss upon your brow
Falter from its high estate?
And, in all forgetful ways,
Shall we sit apart and wait
In the evening of ouc days?
Nay, my wife-my life!-the gloom
Shall enfold us velvetwise,
And my smile shall be the groom
OF tine gladness of your eyes:
Gently, gently as the dew
Mmglcs with the darkening maze,
shall fall asleep with you--
In the evening OF our days.
James Hhitcorib RiieM III Lippincot
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-03-07
NOT FOR CASH.

"Doctor," he said, rs they met on tho
platform of the street car, "can get u
little advice of youG"
"For cash3"
"Wcll, no. simply want to ask n
question or two, and being an old patient
of yours you won't think of charging
me-"
"Go ahead"
"Wcll, my feet are troubling mo and
thought
"Sayl Cut 'cm right off" interrupted
the doctor. ''I'vc often wondered why
you didn't do it. I've got to get off hero
good nightl"-Detroit Free Press.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-03-07
WHAT MAKES A CAT rnEAD SOFTLY.

"Grandpa, what makes n cat tread
softly?" asked little Tommy Findout of
his aged relative, as the pair sat down to
improve their minds when the evening
lamps were lighted.
"It is faculty provided by mn all wise
Creator, my son, which enables the cat to
walk softly" replied the old man as he
laid down his paper and bcamcd on the
youthful seeker after knowledge.
"All members of the cat tribe are en-
dowcd with noiseless tread, which
greatly facilitates their capturing their
prey. You have doubtless noticed that
the pedal extrcmitics of the feline nrc fur
nishcd with soft, vclvety balls or cover
ings instead of hoofs These balls extend
below the claws, which arc drawn up
when not in use, enabling cat to walk
across II board floor without the slightest
noise"
ooh, that isn't what makes cat troad
softly" said Tommy, when the old man
had finished.
"No' What is it, them" asked grand
pa.
Gratis" replied the boy, while n
happy, happy smile lit up his ingenious
face. Chicago Times.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-03-07
eyes, sir; where do you want mo 10

eyes, sir; where do you want mo 10
got"
"Wo want to establish commercial re.
lations with one of the islands in tho
Pacific Ocean"
"Whito people2"
'No; tho natives have the reputation
of being cannibals. But you will have q
jolly time. Every agent we sent out there
has been banQueted and toasted in royal
fashion. ."-Merchant 1rarcler.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-03-07
woULpN'r LET HIM srAnr IN.

Jones-'I suppose you take lots of
comfort with your new baby, Brown9"
Brown-"Wcll, l should sny so. Let
me tell you how cunning hc is"
Jones-"I'd very much like to hear,
but to tell the truth I'm due on the next
block i'll four hours from now. Some
other time, Brown. ."-Ju{ge.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-03-07
A LAST HOPE.

Two poverty stricken men were sleep
ing in their attic room, when, awakened
by noise, they saw Il stranger getting in
at the window in the roof. One whis.
pered to the other
''Think of a burglar coming to us"
''Hushw whispered the other. "Lct
him climb in, then will give yell, and
it may make him drop something he has
stolen elsewhere2"- Francisco JKasp.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-03-07
WHY HE WAS HONEST.

Lady Ito clcrk)-"will this calico
xash2''
Clsrk-"No, madam, it will not. 1t
will fade, run, shrink, and, in fact, is II
most inferior article"
Lady-"Why, young man, how honest
you are! 1 thank you for telling me.
1t is not often that find clerk who has
such high idea of honor, and"
Clerk--"It's not that, madam but the
boss left me out when he raised the
salaries of the Others to-day, and I'm
trying to get even with him. ."-Lawyeace
american.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-03-07
uonnons OF MonMoN1sM.

Small Son-"Ma, what's Mormons?"
Mother-"Um-mcn who have good
many wives"
"A good manyS"
eyes; thirty or forty sometimes"
1000! That's awful"
"Yes, my SON."
tJust awful. [ wouldn't like TO have
thirty OF forty maminas to spank me-
New YORK. Weekly.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-03-07
AN INDICTMENT.

"What is it you want2" she asked as
he stood in the doorway, cap in hand.
81 am the milkman, na'am."
"Wcll, the cook has the tickets and
knows how much to get"
"Yes'm, but I'm the cooks beau"
"Wcll?"
''shc says you object to her having a
a beau"
"Well2"
"Milk is six cents quart. Suppose
l make it five and you keep quiet on
2"-Detroit Frec Press
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-03-07
LOST pEyoNp REcovERy.

Old Gentleman (kindly)-''What's the
matter, little boys What are you crying
for2"
Little Boy-'I lost dime; boo hoo {"
Old Gcntleman-fWcll, don't cry.
Here's dime to replace it. Now I'll
help you to look for the other one"
''Littlc Boy (moving away)-''I don't
believe we can find it. 1t was month
ago that lost t. Yankee Biadc.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-03-07
FAR FROM IT.

Mr.. Billus Cooking over his morning
papor)-"Poor Gringol His wifc-"
Mrs. Billus (greatly movoO-"John,
is Mrs. Gringo-has she joined the silent
maiority9"
"The silent majority She's going TO
entertain the Band of Hope Sewing
Circle all day o-morrow."- Chicago
Tribune.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-03-07
AN AFFLICTED FAMILY.

Mrs. A.-'I think Mrs. Smiths death
Is such a sad one. My heart fairly aches
for MIR. Smith"
Mrs. B.-"Yes, and the poor little
children. 1t is terrible visitation. Will
you be at the funcral?"
Mrs. A.-"Oh, yes"
Mrs. n.-"Whnt are you going to
wcar2"-Epoch.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-03-07
CRUSHED.

"Did you ever see any of these mind
readers?" said young Smithkins to a
young lady.
"Yes; have attended some of their
exhibitions"
81 don't believe there is anything in
it. l allowed one of them to try and
read my mind, and do you know he
couldn't at ALA"
(which is in no way surprising" was
all the young lady said. Washington
Capital.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-03-07
CITY AND COUNTRY HOUSES.

Jinks-"Winks must be doing finely
He tells me he has country house and
O city house"
Binks-'tHo has. He takes care of
my country house in winter and my city
house in summer. ."-Nc,o York Weekly.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-03-07
AN INVITING PROPOSAL

"Look here" said the head of the firm
to young man travelling for it, 'we
want man to go on long trip for us.
Would YOU undertake it2"
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-03-07
DETER THAN HE THOUGHT FOR.

Patient-"That medicine you gave me
for my cold, Doctor, cured me entirely" :"
Doctor lin surprisc)-"Did it! Well,
blamed il l don't believe I'll try it my
self. can't get rid of mine - Time.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-03-07

day in every city in North China. t"l
goose-herder protects his charge in m
the same way. He has sort of bamt
whistle or tube fastened to the end
rope-whip which ho swings from time
time around his head to scare away
hswks. Inasmuoh as somo Of tho .gn'
ihcaas number Us many as a
bsssIss and tho hawks are n;
pga Held s xii so seen that on
ai ushsssA setlon. =. by
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-03-07

u,
Samuel Stone, II Meigs County (Ohio)
farmer, aot some turtles eggs under Il
hen not long since. All the eggs were
Matched and the fowl seems to think us
much of the little turtles Us mother hen
usually docs of her chicks.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1890-02-25
Novel Cure for . Rat Bite.

Mrs. Inaba, who lives in Iyo prov
ince, was bitten by a rat twenty years
ago, which nipped her toe one night
while she lay asleep. For sixteen
years she felt the effects of this bite,
and at times the wound would swell
and tester. Recently she suffered
acutely. and her leg swelled up to a
great extent. Just then she heard that
for a bite of a rat there was no better
remedy than the flesh of a cat. She
at once ordered one of her servants To
60 into the village and catch the first
cat she came across. This done. it
was cooked, and Mrs. Inaba set to
work TO eat it. Next morning she was
much better, and in two or three days
the swelling had gone down and she
was quite well again. Osaka (JapanJ
Mainichi Shimbun.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1890-02-25

wo.a; .e .,e..es ,.... iie would not
go 10 Po.t Townsend. The night was
very dark. \ lau,cru had been hung
on the bow Of Ben's boat. This light
Ben transferred to the top of a cask
that he fastened 10 the tow line; then
he cut the tow line between the cask
and his " boat. When day dawned
the captain of the evenue cutter was
greatly chagrined TO discover that he
was towing a cask with his lantern on
1t, and that the contraband cargo and
its crafty owner had escaped amid the
mazes OF the archipelago OF this Medi-
terranean of the New World. Ben had
quietly slipped through Gibraltar pass,
where the cutter dare not attempt to
60, and proceeded TO enjoy himself on
his ranch.
We are informed by people who live
at the pass that there is scarcely a
night that smugglers do not sail
through Gibraltar pass, taking large
quantities of c%ontraband goods both
north and south across the British
boundary. The government stations
revenue officers at Port Townsend and
Blaine to intercept smugglers, but il
has no one here, where the most Of the
smuggling is done. The smugglers
can not 60 through Swinomish
Slough, because it is almost certain
that they would be caught, so they
run a regular line through Gibraltar
pass.-Washington Farmer.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1890-02-25

THE person who wrote the special
that appeared in Sunday Independ-
cut descriptive of the republican m et-
ing here on Saturday night, Is a vslu-
able acquisition rs n correspondent. A
writer who can lie in a graceful ar
humorous mann -r Is always readable
and sometimes enjoyable; but where
ability does not reach beyond bold
distortion aud malicious misrepresen-
tatiOn of iacts, il shows n weakness on
the other side that i. truly lameuiab'e
The Independent should pay this
chap of. as he will certainly lose
thetR wrat stronag- they have here.