Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1890-11-27
EDITOR CLUGSTON.
The Only Man Who Ever Made Money
Humorin~ "A Poet

The Only Man Who Ever Made Money by
Humoring Poet.
what would this be worth to you?"
inquired a tall, slender man with
large and mobile mouth, 4 retreating
chin, and thin fringe of whisker on
the angle of either jaw, as he walked
into the office of the DoOdleville Yelper
and laid a bundle of manuscript on the
editors table.
Editor Clugston picked it up leisurely
and looked it over.
HIM. This is poetry, is it not?" he
said.
Yes. \ poem on Immortality"
Il thought l noticed that most of the
lines seemed TO begin with capital
What was the inquiry you made about
ftp"
What is it worth to you?"
What is your idea of its value?"
well it took me four hours to write
It. 1 burned midnight oil over that
poem"
II have done the same thing over
tariff editorial many time" unused
Mr.. Clugston.
worth So"
My name is Isnoggles-Perry Isnog-
giles. Accent on the l.
Thank you. Are you aware, Mr.. Is
ioggles, that John Milton sold Para
iise Lost for only So, one-third cash
md the rest on timer"
'Why-"
Are you aware that Robert Burns
once tried to sell Tam O'Shanter' for
of clio aIn
mo. / never heard -"
did you know, Mr. Isnoggles," said
Editor Clugston, with increasing sever
.ty, that Oliver Goldsmith once sold
poem two stickfuls long for a glass OF
ale and three links of sausage, and that
Homer refused an offer of a sheepskin
Tor his Illiad because he thought ii was
worth two sbeeps1ins?'
iii take s. for the poem, Mr..
Clugston."
perhaps you have never heard, Mr..
Isnogglcs," pursued the editor, that
Plautus, the Roman poet, would grind
out rondeau at any time for a half
pint of shrimps?"
Say - 80, suggested the visitor.
And you did not know, possibly, thai
Tasso, the Italian poet, hawlled a four
for six shillings, and couldn't sell it at
that?"
Would $3.50 be too much for thfs?''
"A dollar and half for five pages of
manuscript that Dryden would have
sold, even when he was thirty-nine
years old, for half a crown?"
You can have it for nothing, Mr..
Clugston."
l-F,,f hi fol- lot r,,r
in loaded long primer, at least half
column, Mr.. Isnoggles."
I'D like to have it go in. ! wouldn't
-er-mind paying you, say, fifty cents,
Mr.. Clugston, if you can make room
for it"
"At regular rates, Mr.. Isnoggles," re-
piled the editor, this would come to
about $3.50, but believe in encourage
ing home poets as much as | can. You
are home poet, are you not?'
II was raised out here on the Bilby
farm"
And on that account" resumed the
editor, making a few figures on a sheet
of paper before him, Il will come down
to an even 81 bill
Thank you. Mr.. Clugston. 1t isn't
exactly what l had expected. but -
Cash in advance, of course"
Mr.. 1snoggles drew out a rather lean
wallet, extracted the money therefrom,
and handed it over.
please say nothing about this" said
Mr.. Clugston, grandly, as he put the
money in a pocEet-book ten times
leane- than his visitors. Il wouldn't
do it for every body"
Mr. Isnoggles expressed his gratitude
and walked out.
Darn newspaper man that can't
devise some way to meet a wash-billr'
soliloquized Editor Clugston as he
leaned back in his chair and looked at
himself in the glass.-Chicago Tribune