Waterbury evening Democrat., 1890-03-11
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PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

PONG6NT PARAGRAPHS. De Brusshe -"Yes, I'm fairly in love with my work" Sinnick-'Lucky lover! You'll never have a rival. It takes a wise man to answer all of a child's questions; but wise man will never try to do it. .-Somerville Journal. There is groat movement on the part of the anarchists--when tho bar keeper offers to treat to beer.-Troy Press.
 A perpetual motion machine has not yet been invented, but the tongue of a seven-year-old boy asking questions comes pretty near it.-Somerville Jour nal.
 What is the use O that girl bang ing away on the piano, Maria?" "Prac- l tice, John, Practice makes perfect" "Perfect what-pandemonium ?"-Iar- pers Bazar.
 it true that cigawettes affect the bwain?" MT. Hardhead-'No. Those who have brains do not smoke cigarettes" -Wife-''James, do yo? knew that you are very small man. H.: band
 How ridiculousi am nearly six feet in height" Wife-"That makes no diff
 ference: whenever ask you for money to go shopping you are always short. Boston Gazette.
 -Bluffins -"Perfect nonsense. The idea Of the Bloaters giving themselves airs on .d~oont of their ancestry" Mug gins-"Ves Why Clara Bloater told
 me the other evening that their lineage l could be traced to old castillo Bluffins
 Bah! She meant Castillo soap l America
 Mrs Rustler (to her husband)-"I | certainly wish dear, that you would
 keep up appearances more and dress | better Now look at MT Slasher. who 1 moves in our set, how stylish he is ' Rustler-"You forget. dear. that it was but recently that Slasher failed. "- Clothier and Furnisher
 -"Did it ever strike you that dancing is sinfnl?" inquired young Dr. Gauche of an accomplished young society woman "Well," sL. responded, a reproachful
 look in he. eyes, when notice the | way some people dance, it does strike me good deal that way. Washington
 Capital
 Extracting amusement from misery
 Mudge-"My brother bill was in to see
 me to-day" Phillips-''l never knew | you had brother" Mudge-"I haven't | l mean the livery bill l incurred thr
 evening Miss Willets gave me the priv ilege of being brother to her. ."-Terre
 Haute Express.
 Mime Chaperone-"Is MT. - . professional man?" Miss Prue-'I don, know" Mime. Chaperone-"Is he a l man of brains?" Miss Prue-''l don'1 know that either" Mme. Chaperone-
 ''Why, aren't you acquainted with him?'
 Miss Prue-"Yes, but Eve met him only
 in society. "-Boston Post -"Young man." said an old gentle
 man to a reporter, do you expect te
 follow your present avocation in the next world?" "I hadn't thought O.
 that, sir. Why do you ask?" "Becaust if you do you can write up glowing ac
 counts of things without being far out o
 the way."-Merchant Traveller.
 At 8 rough estimation.-First pas
 senger (standing in car)-"I'm going tt make that man move up and give me hal
 of his seat" Second passenger-"Gt
 slow; that's old Specie. Do you know what that man is worth?" First passen 1 ger-'If pork is eight cents pound
 live weight, should think he ought tt
 be worth $16 easy enough. Pluck.
 A professor of music demands
 higher standard of merit in theater or
 chestras. He says: ''The theatrical or
 chestra of to-day is regarded by man,
 managers as a sort of device for killing
 time between the acts" This may b.
 true; but some orchestras seem to b.
 moro in the nature of device for kill
 ing the audience between the acts.-
 Narristown Herald.