Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-11-30

salve. Forty comes in sadly with a strong
odor of cigarettes and tonic, risky novels.
stacks of perfumery, pictures OF a bald
headed friend in the mirror frame, and of
several 'intimates" in extremely decollette
costumes. Fifty is pathetic. All photo
graphs, save possibly the bald-headed
friends, have been carefully put away, and
the table groans under its load of essays,
poetry and ethics. There is an odor of lini-
ment. Perfume bottles have disappeared;
so have souvenirs of other davs. In one
corner the monthly magazines rise like
miniature tower of Eiffel.
And now comes the last scene of all
65 to 70-sans perfume, sans manicure,
sans coquetry. sans gayety, sans every
thing frivolous. Bible and prayer book
lie on little table at the head of the bed
Photographs OF reverend this ana bishop
that adorn the mantei. The well-padded
rocking-chair shows the effect of constant
use. while on the dressing case long array
OF medicine bottles tell the story of late
suppers, bare shoulders, late hours, irregu-
lar habits and disappointed hopes of the
far away past. The husky, staccato cough
has taken the place of the bird-like voice,
which in the days of long ago carrolled
forth its pleasure in feeting and frivolous
things. 1t Is big jump from Is to 10
after you have made it.
NUISANCE OF A SINGLE CHILD.
need not tell you that the fashionable
woman of this city is not anxious to become
the mother of large family. She is quite
willing to have one child, and let it go at
that. The consequence is that this poor
little specimen of humanity is often petted,
and spoiled and idoiiZed, which would not
be the case if there were half dozen of
them. The single bud upon the proud an
cestral tree is made to do all sorts of ridicu-
lous things such as recite poems, give i'm
itatIons of people who visit the house, sing,
dance and make himself generally disagree
able.
A certain wealthy family has one such
prodigy. People actually shun the house,
for no matter at what hour you call, Archie
is invariably dragged into the room to show
off something new that he has learned. All
conversation ceases. All attention is GEN.
tered in the youngster, who proceeds to
make himself nuisance, giving pert an
swers to his father, and retorting upon his
mother with slang. Finally, he is bribed
into ''being good" but before they can get
him out of the room he
SENDS A FAREWELL SHOT
at some bald head, red nose, set of false
teeth or bodily infrmity that catches his
sharp eye among the guests. Well, the
owners of this Archie were lately beside
themselves with joy. The boy suddenly
gave promise OF becoming the eighth wonder
OF the world. Although at the tender age
OF 10 he began to write poetry, talk politics
and discuss the tariff. Tops, marbles and
ball had no more charm Tor him. His
picture books were thrown aside. and in
their stead, Bancroft, Ruskin and Emerson
were greedily devoured by him. Archie
put away his putty blower and began to
Al,
America.
1t was astounding, and people came from
far and near to converse with this infantile
Solomon. The family physician was con-
suited, for 1t seemed necessary to check this
abnormal development of brain, and in one
of his examinations OF Master Archie's head
our good A1sculapius caught decided
wHIFF OF SHERRY WINE.
He knew how it was himself, being great
connoisseur of Amontillado and Here's in
general; so, upon taking his leave, the good
man merely remarked to Archie's mother:
"Please keep that tonic of yours, that qu-
nine, cocoa wine and chloral, under lock
and key %
The woman obeyed. and, 10, another
miracle! Little Archie became as common
youngster, and in the course of week re-
turned to his jig saw and tricycle.. He lost
all interest in the weighty problems of life,
and gave up mis- philosophy for the nickel
novels of wild Western adventure. The
parents are disconsolate, and sit like two
figures of hired mourners paid to run Tor a
fortnight; but the family physician assured
them that the tonic" which little Archie
had been drinking on the sly, would inevit-
ably end in stripping the family tree of its
sole and single bud. So they were obliged
to bow to the harsh decree of fate. The
friends of the family press the doctors hand
gratefully when they meet him.
CLARA BELLE