davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Chariton courier. (Keytesville, Chariton County, Mo.) 1878-current, 1890-12-18

agree with the alliance movement?
1t is absurd. 1t might be good
enough politics for Republicans
whose policies the alliance movement
antagonizes at every point, but for
Democrats it is absurd.
Mr.. Thurman advises the farmers
to confine their attack to the tariff.
That Is good advice and they will
come very near to taking it, as he
will see If chance is given them.
But if it is good advice for the Farm
ers' alliance it is still better for the
Democratic party. Let the Demo
cratic party confine its attack to the
tariff and other abuses of pIutocratlc
Republicanism. 1t has all the enc
mics it can handle when 1t does
that. without prancing around with
chip on its shoulder inviting every
new movement that comes along to
hit 1t with brick.
The farmers movement has its
origin in opposition to the same
abuses which the Democrats oppose.
1t is essentially Democratic move
ment. 1t does not threaten the
electoral vote Of q single Democratic
state IN the Union for 1892, while it
does threaten Republican success
in nine-tenths of the Republican
states.
Maybe this is talking too much,
but there are some Democrats who
insist on talking as Mr.. Thurman
does; and such talk is not reasona-
BILE. The Republic advises young
Mr.. Thurman to talk this matter
over with the old Roman before he
delivers himself further on it. The
old Roman knows great deal about
American politics-far too mnch to
offer the least obstruction to any
movement against plutocratlc Repub-
lIcanism.-Rcpublic.
Chariton courier. (Keytesville, Chariton County, Mo.) 1878-current, 1890-12-18
Hm. ROSolStOiIl.
Brunswick,
Missouri.
Affey The 9mQSh-Rb.

Scene-RaiIroad station at Lone.
Iyville; Reed, Mckinley, Harrison,
Aldrich and Qaay sitting on q
bench:
Recd-It was pretty bad smash,
Mack.
McKinley--I can't understand
how it happened yet. Did we have
too much steam on, think?
Rced-P'r'ps. 1 wasn't noticin'
the pressure so much. / wanted to
put her through-and, say! she was
hummin, wasn't she?
Harrison-I thought she was GO
ing too fast, ali the time.
Reed-Then why didn't you say
somethin', Benny, and not be settin'
there clappln' your hands as though
you liked it.
Harrlson-What! Me say some
thing?
McKinIey-DiJ you notice that
we were goin' too fast, Aldrich?
Aldrich No. l told Tom as long
as he could count the telegraph
poles we'd be all right; bat Christ
mas! l didn't know he could count
so like the devil.
Reed-Poke up that fire little,
Mack. It's cold as Greenland's icy
mountains here.
Mckinley amt monkey'n with
the fire any more, thank you kindly.
What's that placard over your head +,
Aldrich?
AIdrich-It's something about
freight tariffs.
McKinley-Pull it down!
thought l saw something on it about
tariffs.
Reed can't help thinkin' how
we was whizzin when SIC past
McKiniey-Stop, Toni Don't
remind US of what we passed. If
we'd'a' just passed nothin' we'd be
better off to day. Gewhiliikens!
wish we were out O this. I'm lun
CRY.
HArr,son-Did Mr.. Quay lose
anything in the smash, MIR. Reed?
Reed-All he had, Benny, whicl
amt sayin' much; but why dom
you ask him about it? There h'
sets.
Harrison-Thcre isn't any use
I've asked him lots of things, but h
Decent say word.
Aldrich-Did you lose anything
Benny.
Harrison-No; 1 didn't have any
thing but my hat.
McKinley-We,l, we'd better tall
over some plan for getting our trail
back on the track.
Received better get right on
into the dark night, into the howliIl
wind, and get down to business
There's no use o. making a deliber
ate assembly out o this; because
we do, wen freeze to death. Com
! oni-Pttck.
Chariton courier. (Keytesville, Chariton County, Mo.) 1878-current, 1890-12-18

THE Republicans viii have a ma
jority of twenty -one In the next Col
orsdo Legislature, there being forty
eight Republicans and twenty-seven
Democrats. Two years ago only
one county and one senatorial dis
trIct were represented by the De-
mocracy in the Colorado legislature
one representative in each house.
L was purely and practically q Re-
publican administration. Over haIf
a million dollars was stolen by the
Republican Office holders from the
state, and the Republican courts of
the state whitewashed the whole
business. Possibly. hereafter with
the aid of some few honest RepublI-
car representatives, elected last fall,
the state OF Colorado may purge
itself OF the thieves and bummers
that have been fattening and grow
ing fatter upon the state treasury,
IL is to be hoped so, at least.
Chariton courier. (Keytesville, Chariton County, Mo.) 1878-current, 1890-12-18
MkQt is q MQn2

/ had letter the other day, evil
IDENTIFY from woman, and she SAID:
Would you mind telling me twhat
is man: A more er less ae-
quaintance with mankind makes me
feel that l can reply to this ques-
ton.
a man is an animal who would
scorn divided skirts and yet spends
two hours selecting the kind of cloth
he wants for his trousers.
4 man IS an animal who can be
aattered and coaxed INTO anything,
but once you start to drive him the
male-like nature Is apparent.
X man is an animal who thinks he
is little TIN god on wheels, and
never realizes that he isn't until he
IS down fat on his back with malaria
and q woman has to wait on him.
a man is an animal who is desira-
bic when you are in trouble, because
the bratcin him being greater, he
cal swear more and hit straighter
from the shoulder,than you can.
A man is an animal who eats the
very best he can get and prefers to
drink the same quality, but FREE
quently becomes tanis for holding
bad whisky.
a man is an animal made for the
benefit of woman, and the more she
can get cut Of him in the way Of
kindness and love the more has he
fulfilled his duty IN life, but--with
all his faults We love him still.
Bah.
Chariton courier. (Keytesville, Chariton County, Mo.) 1878-current, 1890-12-18
COiman'S S Rural World.

This true and long tried friend of
the farmer, stock breeder and fruit
grower, Is a regular visitor at our
office, and we often ask ourselves
after looking over its well filed
pages, how can anyone who tills even
an acre OF ground afford to get along
without its valuable aid? 1t con-
tains all that is latest and best in ev-
cry field of farming, stock-breeding
and orchsrdlng, and IS really invalu-
able to every household. 1t is pub
lished weekly, at only One Dollar a
year, by c. D. Colman, SO Olive
Street, st. Louis, Mo.
Chariton courier. (Keytesville, Chariton County, Mo.) 1878-current, 1890-12-18

A PROMINENT physician and old
army surgeon In Eastern Iowa, was
called away from home for a few
days; during his absence one of the
children contracted q severe cold
and his wife bought a bottle Of
Chamberlan's Cough Remedy for it.
They were so much pleased with the
remedy that they afterwards used
several bottles at various times. He
svid, from his experience with it, he
regarded it as the most reliable
preparation IN use for colds and that
it came the nearest being specific
of any medicine he had ever seen.
For ssle by W. G. Agee & Bro,
Dalton. ii
Chariton courier. (Keytesville, Chariton County, Mo.) 1878-current, 1890-12-18
a. }. TOWER, Boston. Mass
The Columbia Cycle Calendar.


BY far the most valuable business
calendar for 1891, and entirely
unique IN design, is the Columbia
Cycle Calendar and Stand, issued oy
the Pope Mfg. Co., of Boston, Mass.
The Calendar is in the form OF pad
366 leaves, each 5Ix2i
inches, each leaf containing blank
for memoranda, and as the leaves
are only fastened at the upper end,
any leaf can be exposed, no stub be-
ing left when the leaves are torn off.
The pad rests upon stand, contain
ing pen rack and pencil holder, and
made of stained wood, mounted with
raised letters IN brass, thus forming
an ornamental paper weight. The
day of the week and the day Of the
year, together with the number nf
the days to come, are given, and
each slip bears a short paragraph
pertaining to cycling and kindred
subjects. These paragraphs have
been carefully collated from leading
publications and prominent writers,
the larger number having been spec
tally written for this purpose. Al
though this Is the sixth issue of the
calendar, all the matter is fresh and
new, comprising notable events in
cycling, opinions of physicians and
clergymen, hints about road making
and numerous other topics.
Chariton courier. (Keytesville, Chariton County, Mo.) 1878-current, 1890-12-18

THE local option 80 which was
adopted in sixty-fve counties and
perhaps dozen cities at various
times since 1t became Law, is now
in force in only five counties and
not a single city in the. state. Sixty
county courts blandered in some
way in submitting the law, and the
circuit courts have been forced to
annul it. 1t is iamentable fact in
this state that tie acts of county
courts wilI rarely ever hold good
when reviewed by tue superior
courts.-Jef. Gig Tribune.
Chariton courier. (Keytesville, Chariton County, Mo.) 1878-current, 1890-12-18
The Last Laugh

There Is lots Of sense about that old
maxim "He vino laughs last etc.
Sometimes it applies even to.rahroads.
There are sand desert Gu the south,
AMI snow on the north, but ca the
middle route to the P, &c coast the
one occupied by the original oserlend
road, the Union Paeifi there is im-
nunity from both, and thR linf eon-
tinues TO be as it always has teen ard
always viii be-. the ] practicable
route to San Francisco. lie South
ern Pacific company age pnt tier
line via Ogden in per order go that
winter travel to Galif1rhis may be en-
joyed in the greatest + stlbls oonfoi t
and without delay.
Chariton courier. (Keytesville, Chariton County, Mo.) 1878-current, 1890-12-18
A Wonder Worker.

Mr.. Frank Huffman, a young man
of Burlington, Ohio, states that he
had been under the enre of two
prominent Physicians, ard used tiieir
treatment until he was not able TO
get around. They prpnoancee his
case to be consumption aud incura-
bIe. He was persuaded to try DR..
Kings New Discovery for consump-
tion, coughs and colds, and at that
time WAS not able to walk across the
street without resting. He found,
before he had used half OF dollar
bottle, that he was much better he
continued to use it ana IS to-day en-
joyIng good health. II you have
any throat, lung or chest trouble try
1t. We guarantee satisfaction. Trial
bottle free at w. z. CASTOR & Co.'S.
drug store.
Chariton courier. (Keytesville, Chariton County, Mo.) 1878-current, 1890-12-18

THE wings of fly are used with
great quickness and probably six
hundred strokes are made per sec
ond. This would carry the fly about
twenty-five feet, but seven fold
velocity can easily be attained, maxi
ing one-hnndred and seventy-1ve
feet per second, so that under GER
tain circumstances it can outstsip a
race horse.
Chariton courier. (Keytesville, Chariton County, Mo.) 1878-current, 1890-12-18

The government reports show that
the average wages of railroad hands
IN this country is s243 per year.
The average employment is 147
days, the rest of the year being en-
forced idleness.
Chariton courier. (Keytesville, Chariton County, Mo.) 1878-current, 1890-12-18
TEAM STEERS.

You work in al weather. You want an "aIl-
weather" coat. In fact, the best waterproof coat
IN the world. No fral rubber affair that viii
mp before the week Is out. Rubber costs more,
and lasts but a shrrt time -Four teamsters cut OF
Eve wear the " Fish Brand " waterproof clothing.
They the only teansters' waterproof coats that
are light, st'oug, durable, and cheap. They cost
sticky or peel of. The buttons are wire-fastened,
and never come of. They arc absolutely water
proof and wind-Proof. Until you own one you will
never know tho comfort Of a rainy day. Beware of
worthless limitations, every garment stamped with
the Fish Brand" Trade Marx. Don't accept
any Inferior enat when you can have the " EiSh
Brand Slicker" delivered without extra cost Par
ticulsrs and illustrated catalogue free.
a. J. TOWER, Boston, Mass
Chariton courier. (Keytesville, Chariton County, Mo.) 1878-current, 1890-12-18

hb 20 WILLIE 40 fOLLOHS:
: soIss EAST.
ssNc II Sc LOUIS Mail and Ex.. 10 So q m
mo Chicago Express--......... Q 4S p m
fNo 81 Moberly Ac Freight. 20 p m
fNo 70 Ac Freight ...............-. s 40 D m
mos S. Louis Express. 81 a IN
COMO WEST.
. mo Kansas City Express...... 43 a m
NO s < c and St Joe Express. 81 m
NO IL Kansas City Mail aud Ex 27 m
tNo FL Accommodation Freight 45 m
mo Omaha Express.....-..... 20 a IN
sDaily. fDaily except Sunday.
Nos ! sad share Reclining Chair Cars
{sssts free) and new Buffet Sleeping Cars
3 k.nsas City and Chicago without
change.
Nos has Reclining Chair Cars (seats
free 70 Kansas City without change.
Nos z and will stop at KeytpsviIle for
passengers 10 or from Chillicothe, or
points north of Chillicothe.
For Rates, Tickets, Time Tables, ETC.,
apply to
C. C. CHRISTAL,
Agent, KeytesviIle, No.
cHIs NJ. HAYS, F. CHASDLER,
0enl Manager. Gen1 Pass & Tex Agt.
Chariton courier. (Keytesville, Chariton County, Mo.) 1878-current, 1890-12-18
ssnsvo,en. and Literary

L<rrrsrfEIk LtsrART-E. d. Kellogg, Librarian
: - from 20 II . and fron 2. to4 D. m.
UksHrs LopeE, No. "a. A v. and A M.-John
Skivsr>. Isstrr; n " Anderson, Secretary. Regu-
~ neeiinrs Saturday evening preceding fun neon-
cxkkzros LoDor. No. III. A. o. y. Vino.
- nnttsr NJ w; r. n. TisdAle, Recorder. Regular
n><ffrRs - and 9Th Tuesday srenlng At O'Clock.
CnkxI<ox Co MEnfcxL SonErI.-MeststheF Fourth
fhsrrdzy IN each month ~ Salisbury.
q 8zL<crk KxsaHrs. A. o. .. W.-Meers ID and 9Th
fr<<y eve sinss IN each mouth. J. J. Moore, 3. O.
3. n T5&da.s \. 49,
Chariton courier. (Keytesville, Chariton County, Mo.) 1878-current, 1890-12-18
Shoe Department!

1t is filled to overfowing with the finest
Shoes ever brought to this city. Our
special line Of Ladies' and Misses fne
Shoes is unexcelled, in Lace, Con-
gress and Button, while we have
an immense line of mems shoes
custom made, from the cheap
est Plow to the Finest
Dress Shoe.
Chariton courier. (Keytesville, Chariton County, Mo.) 1878-current, 1890-12-18

LaGGS, Hosiery & Gloves.

Flannels, Blankets, Comforts, Quilts,
Etc, Etc.
Chariton courier. (Keytesville, Chariton County, Mo.) 1878-current, 1890-12-18
General Directory.

County omcers.
Chariton courier. (Keytesville, Chariton County, Mo.) 1878-current, 1890-12-18
casanua passEsetRs LEAVE

KEYfEsyILLE AS FOLLOWS
GoTse East.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1890-10-01
EAUGH AND GROW FAT.
- HEALTHY TONIC FOR IN
vALIDS OF ALL KINDS.

Humorous Anecdotes Cleaned from Vari-
Gus sources-something tn Read which
VIII Make Any body Sleep weli-Better
Than Medicine when Taken Before Re
firing.
The City of Rome got into little
storm off the Banks, and pitched about
q little, annoying a good old Methodist
clergyman from Kansas. As it grew
worse he became ilore alarmed and,
quite unable to rest, went up to see
Captain Young.
"Are we in any danger, Captain ?" he
asked, TREMENDOUSLY.
"Oh, not the slightest
Are you surcS'
Certainly. Don't You hear the mate
swearing at the crew? Whenever there
is any real danger you will hear no
swearing"
About midnight the winds blew furi-
ously, and the clergyman's wife became
alarmed.
Ambrose" she said, do 60 up and
see if we are in danger.
heard the good old man Chamber up
by my stateroom on his way TO the
deck. When he eot back l heard his
vile say
"Oh, Ambrose! are We safe?"
Eyes, Mary, thank God, the whole
crew are swearing"
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1890-10-01
Nrr-r Mixed Bu.Insss

A man with box on his shoulder was
making his way along Chambers street
the other day, when it fell to the walk.
After two or three efforts to replace it,
he appealed to man in a doorway
with:
"Give me life, please?"
Cant do it, was the prompt reply.
And why not?"
Because L never mix business. i
am plumber, and the man next door
is in the elevator business. It's iol
him to give you lift"
The man with the box thought for a
moment. grinned in a good natured
way, and by an extra grunt re-shoul-
dered the box and passed on.-NetC
York Sun.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1890-10-01
High Pressure civilization.

Excited Mother Mary Mary For
mercy's sake, close the door. You were
drinking that glass of water right " here
people in the street could see You.
Daughter Why, ma, what difference
does that make?
Mother-Dear mo, will you never
learn to read the pa ers? Don't you
know the papers are full of talk about
the ACCESSIBILITY of boiling impure water
before drinking it so as to kill any dis
ease germs it may contain?
Daughter-Why, yes, ma, but this
water is perfectly pnre.
Mother-That doesn't matter. For
all we know there may be Society
for the Prevention of Un-boiled Water
Drinking" aud ii there is, YOU might
be seen by one of its agents and dragged
off to prison in a jify.- Street d
Smiths Good NetcS.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1890-10-01
Something Left Out.

1t was sign reading, Paint" No
one could mistake it for express" or
ito rent" 1t was tackled on the door,
aud one could read the words across the
street. And yet man walked up, read
the sign, opened the door, aud then
blurted out:
Hang it, Look at that daub of paint
on my sleevel"
"But didn't you see the sign?' asked
the proprietor.
"Of course | did"
"Then you should have been care
full
Careful! Careful How did know
whether it meant you had paint to sell,
or had painted your door Blast you,
sir, it might mean paint on your roof
for oil knew !"-Deh'ou Free Press.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1890-10-01

Mrs. Banks was In the habit OF spell
Ing out such words as she did not wish
her little girl Jennie TO understand when
she was talking before her TO Jennie
papa or 10 Betty in the kitchen.
One day, when Jennie was at school,
Betty came running into the sitting
room where Mrs. Banks was sewing.
Betty was i'm a state OF great excitement
She had still in her hands the fiat-iror
with which she had been at work.
so Mis- Banks!" she exclaimed, 'where
did you put the trap? There's
m-o-u-s-e out there just a-running round
and | want TO c-a-t-c-h III"
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1890-10-01
A Progressive Company.

In addition 10 the splendid passenger
equipment now furnished by the Chicago
and Eastern Illinois Railroad, the manage
ment have arranged u run Vestibuled
Parlor Cars on the through day trains. COM
moncing with Sept. /. Those cars are the
product of the Pullman Company shops
and are considered by many railroad men
TO surpass in elegance and completeness any
parlor cars which have as yet been placed
on the rails.
Before the winter travel commences. all
passenger trains will be provided with
safety steam heating apparatus, which Is
connected with the engines and receives It's
steam from this source, thereby obtaining
an even temperature In the car at all times
These improvements are made for the con-
venience OF the travelling public and reflect
credit upon the liberal policy adopted by
the management OF the Chicago and Eastern
Illinois Railroad.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1890-10-01
Were Not Full.

A negro woman borrowed dozen
eggs from a neighbor, and instead of re-
turning a dozen, brought back only
eleven.
"How's dis?" the lender asked.
"How's whut, lady?"
IVY you borrid er dozen aigs frum
me, but dar amt but erleben yere. How
does you count fur dat?"
Il counts fur it mighty easy. Dem
aigs / got frum you want right full"
Want right full! Whit you means
by dat"
II means dat da want full-dat de
hens whit laid EN- want honest. Deze
aigs dat have fotch you is full up to de
brim; an yo' KANT 'spect me ter fetch
you er dozen full aigs fur er dozen dat
want right full. Oh. rs squar, is. -
ArkdnSdC Traveller.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1890-10-01

In a Western town the other day two
funeral professions met In narrow
street, and the driver of each hearse re-
fused 10 give way, resulting in block
ade which lasted for hours. Meanwhile
the somewhat hilarious mourners passed
the time in songs. The names OF the
songs are not given, but nothing could be
more appropriate than IF a Body Meet a
Body" suggests the Pittsburg Bulletin.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1890-10-01
Proceeding To business.

my dear" said the caller with win
ming smile to the little girl who occu-
pied the study while her father, the
eminent Literary man, was at his din
ner, IL suppose you assist your papa by
entertaining the bores?"
"Yes, SIR" replied the little girl,
gravely, please be seated"
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1890-10-01
THE GREAT SEABURYCASE:
Beautiful LeOnOre.
BY ALEXANDER ROBERTSON, NJ. D.,

will appear in that well-known story. paper.
The CHICAGO LEDGER. This romance, from
the pen OF one OF the most prolific writer's
OF modern fiction, will create Juror. II
Is majestic in its plot, its incidents are
grand, its minor details are treated with a
rare and intense vigor that will at once
establish its brilliant character
In this charming story OF life, love and
intrigue the heroine IL brave and beautiful,
and her adventures and misfortunes viii
enthrall every reader, and awaken sym
pathetic interest, while the marvellous net
work OF plot and counterpart on which the
serial is based is drawn to its magnificent
conclusion.
Many such stories have been attempted but
few deal with their theme with a more dra-
matte pen, with higher realistic fervor, or
stronger colors OF description and contrast.
The keenest insight into human nature il
given, and there is not one dull line from
the opening chapters to the closing scene In
this eloquent narrative OF woman's love,
mans devotion, and the terrible plots OF
mercenary schemers.
THE LEDGER predicts a grand reception for
this masterpiece OF fiction, and an interest
In the fortunes OF Beautiful Leonore that
will endear this rare heroine 10 every heart.
The story OF loyal love is sweetly told, and
the fine skill in treatment, the originality OF
conception, the absorbing power OF action
dellneated in every scene warrant us In
announcing
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1890-10-01
COnnendablc.

All claims not consistent with the high
character OF Syrup Of Figs are purposely
avoided by the Cal. FiS Syrup Company. 1t
acts gently on the kidneys. liver and bow
els. cleansing the system erectually. but
Il is not cure-all and makes no preten-
sions tkat every bottle VIII not substan-
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1890-10-01

The Man Who Looked aS IT He Had Been
Working.
James Gordon Bennett has a way of
dropping in to examine the Herald at
the most unexpected times and as his
visits often result in a general shake
up" and reorganization of the papers
managerial, editorial and working
forces they are awaited with fear and
trembling by his employees. On one
of these occasions one of the pressmen,
a man who had worked for the elder
Bennett and was an excellent work
man, though guilty of an occasional
lapse from sobriety, had bad black
eye and was in quandary as to what
excuse he should offer if Bennett no.
ticed it. Acting on a sudden inspira-
ton he seized an ink roller and rubbed
a daub of ink on the side of his face,
completely concealing the discolora-
ton of the skin. Presently Mr.. Ben
nett came into the press-room and with
the superintendent, John Hays, went
carefully through, criticising every
detail and looking sharply at each en-
ploye. When about to leave he turned
suddenly and, pointing at the be-
smirched pressman, said: "Mr. Hays,
what is that mans name?" The Gull
prit quaked in his shoes until Mr..
Bennett said slowly: IL want you to
give that man 80 per week more
wages; he is the only man in the room
that looks as if he had been working"
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1890-10-01
The Queens English.

Englishman-I say, we knaw, what's
the bookage TO Boston?
Railroad Ticket Clerk-The whatage?
Englishman-The bookago. We knaw
the tariff. What's tn tariff?
Ticket Clerk haven't time to talk
politics. York Weekly.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1890-10-01
A Travellers Experience.

"Did Won see much ivory while you
were in Africa, Mr.. Trotter?"
mo, not a great deal; but l saw
stacks of it on shipboard.
1T was coming TO this country for
sale. suppose p
We'll. no; the fact is. / ran against
several poker games.