The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1890-09-12

Squire, "Ill take back the charge an
asst ye to perceed with yer Examination
O. me ez to wuther them winds O mine,
ez We call 'em, was ekal to sartin things
or wuther they want. ReplYin' to yer
two fust questions now, I'll say th't
none O. them winds O. mine ever
dreamt O. changin' mans shirt 'thout
him KNOWN of it, and ez fer gittin' up
bar fight 'mongst the clouds, they
wouldn't ha' had no more idee O. doin'
of it thin they would ha' had O. takin'
up election fer the heathens in AZ
ferky."
"Thats wat thort, b'goshr' said the
Old Settler. "An' now, then, Squire, was
any O them winds O. yourn high an
curious enough in their natur' to hev a
man arrested charged with cattle steal
imp"
Never, sir!" replied the Squire, with
the solemnity of a witness in court.
"Goodw calculated the Old Settler.
"Now, sir! Did any O. them winds o.
your'n, ever show their height an their
cur'ousness to be setch az to change the
veenoo of a case in court an save an in
nercent man from persecution"
"Never!" answered the Squire.
''Then, Squire" said the Old Settler,
"th'has been winds and harrycanes
durn sight higher and cur'ouser tn n
them O. yourn, an I'll prove it to We by
the case of an ANCESTOR O mine who lived
in the Sugar Swamp deestric' at an 'arly
day. 'Cordin to the dockyments his name
were Hiram Wuncut. l wun't say that
the winds they had in the Sugar Swamp
deestric' in them days was higher an
cur'ouser thin any th't had ever ben
heard on afore, cause it mout be
charge ag'n somebody, but the family
dockyments says they was, an also
says th't they was uncommon student
an contrary in their dispositions.
eff ever tn were victim O. sarcum-
stances, the dockyments says his name
were Hiram Wuncut Hiram were
poor man, but he were ambitious. He
had a clearin' th't were continually bein'
squatted on by bar th't didn't make
no bones O. walkin' off with a sheep or
pig or a calf, right afore Hiram Wun.
cuts eyes, an it was the ambition O.
Hiram to lay that bar low. But the
bar were tOn cunnin' a chap fer Hiram,
an he continnered to gether in the iv-
in produce O. Hiram's farm an keep
Hiram poor. The bar didn't seem to
bother nobody else's sheep nor calves
but Hirams, an so, vile his neighbor
Philander Boles KID raise wool enough
to make him nice fiannen shirts an his
calves crowd up inter COWS an oxen,
Hiram had to keep on wearin' ruther
used up OIL cotton shirts th't had kim
with him wen he landed in Sugar
Swamp, an his calves couldn't stay
with him long enough to git to be cows
nor oxen.
Them winds O the Sugar Swamp
deestric', so these family dockyments
says, usety come up so student th't one
minute yer corn in the garden wouldn't
be shook by ez much ez a zephyr, an
the next minute yer house d be sot
down in the mex township by streak
O. wind. Folks in housen th't was bein'
scooted through the air in one direction
d meet housen from neighborin' dees-
tries passin' along in t'other direction,
them winds run in setch contrary
streaks. Hiram Wuncut alluz said th't
nuthin' th't none O. them winds mowt
do would ever s'prise him not one ioty
zone afternoon Philander Boles' wife
hung out her wash, an lef it out over
night 'Mongst the wash were one O.
Philander's flannen shirts. Mex morn
in wen she went out to take in the
wash the f1annen shirt were gone, an
in its place on the line were curious
lookin' cotton shirt. That were as
toundin', but wen Philander found th't
his yoke O. steers were gone, long with
his wagon, tn were time on that
clearin', an no mistake.
"'One O. them tarnal winds must ha'
ben playin' hob ag'in. las night said
Philander, but never know'd one of
'em to take shirt often line and pin
another un in its place afore, an hitch
a yoke o. steers to a wagon an drive
'em away
"Philander walked over to Hiram
Wuncut's, witch were miled away, an
ne didn't lind Hiram to hum. Somehow
Or other, he went to trapsein 'roun' the
deestrict, an long in the afternoon he
toun' Hiram way over beyent Lost Crow
Barren, goin' west, in a dazed sort O.
way, an drivin' pair O. steers. Phi
lander we're cross an overbearin' sort
o chap. an he grabbed Hiram by the
neck an hollers:
"'Whar ye goin' with my yoke o.
steers? An wat aye DOM with nv
hannen shirt on?'
"Hiram looked kind O. crazy at fust.
an then he rec'onized Philander. an
kim to hisself.
"'Jeewhizzp he says. IF it don't beat
all!'
"Sh'd say SOP says Philander.
SITS all kim back to me nowr saws
Hiram. Fore daylight this mornin' 1
see that pesky oil bar takin' nv las
sheep. tore fer your place to hev We
come an help me run him down. Jis'
ez got to your cabin one o. the winds
grabbed me. 1t husseled me around in
the air over your patch fer a minute or
two, an then swished me up more'n a
quarter OF a miled, an started west
with me. We hadn't gone fur fore we
met that bar. It'd ben grabbed up by
acontrairy wind. an were comm along
back east The sight o that bar riled