The intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1887-1891, 1890-10-11
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

Conscience is that within us that
tells us when our neighbors are doing
wrong. Epoch.
Mover Gives Out.-"They tell ~"
your wife has an excellent tcmp"r?'
yes, it never fails her."-N. y. Herald.
81 say, Charley, that man over ther"
must be a millionaire" mo. | guess
not. Ilo looks too happy."-Flicgende
Blattor.
If you evor doubted that a man
could be sarcastic, you doubt it no longer
when you have heard him praising your
enemy .-Atchison Globe.
-Cobwiggor "Why does n woman
have her pocket where it's so hard to
get at it?" Merritt" that she can
stick hor friend for tho car faro
Epoch.
Mrs. characterization says that
no experiment which he has tried at
night ever failed" Gummey-"Thon
he never tried to walk his baby to
sleep."-N. Y. Sun.
Mr.. Newman-"Willie, whatdid your
sister say about the ring | gave her?'
Willie-"She thaid she wondered who
wath fool enough to trutht you for it,
jewelers. Weekly.
Somebody wants to know why pretty
women generally marry homely men.
We have n clinging belief that it is done
to give their W beauty he benefit OF
contrast.-Ram's Horn.
IL think" said the editor in n wor-
ried tone, that | will drop journalism
and take to astronomy" "Why?' well,
ootrnnnn,arc alum W. unat, IN ho va mara
space than they know what to do with"
Washington Post.
What" inc uired the telegraph edi-
tor of the sporting editor, sis the most
troublesome poker query you evor had
to answer?' What have you gotT' |
think is a question hat has bothered
me as much as any thing else."-Wash-
ington Post.
City Dame Cooking for country
board)-''Do you object to children?"
Mrs. Hayseod-'"That depinds, num-"
City Dame-"Depends on the sort of
children they are, | suppose" Mrs.
Haysced-"No'm. Depinds on the sort
of mothers they has."-Good News.
-Cholly--'Mr. Threads, don't you
think | have earned a vacationP" Mr..
Threads-"Um-wc ll-yes. l guess you
have. In fact, that is about all you have
earned his year. Your vacation will
next Saturday night, and you
can have all you want."-Terre Hautc
Express.
-"Yes," said the young girl, "Fido is
q very bright little fellow" ~ hadn't
sven observed it, said Billy Bliven, her
cousin. "But he has one very bad habit.
He always howls whom | play the piano"
"He i a smart dog, isn't hep" rejoined
Billy, abstractedly.
THAT Boston man is awfully cool"
GLOW does he show it?" "Why, when
our ship struck tho iceberg last summer,
and every body was crowding into the
boats, he wouldn't leave until no had
changed his necktie." o, pshaw! That
wasn't GOODNESS. That was Boston,
Harper's BaZar.
Young Father-"I wish you would
make arrangements to baptize my baby
tomorrow" Mr.. Halo-"Why, / hap.
tized the child last Sunday. Lot me soc:
Percy, you said to call him" Young
Father-"Yes; but Uncle Percy has
made an assignment, and we have dc.
cided to change the kids name to Zach
ariah. Uncle Zach is as solid as the sur
plus. America.
Eastern Lady lin Colorado)-"I'
makes me sick to near some OF you
western names. The idea of calling
pretty town like this Wagonwheel.'
Resident-''It isn't a nice name. and i
we ever change it promise to let yor
know at once" 81 wish you would.
where shall l address your" Horse
heads, Now York. "-Philadelphia Rec