Morning journal and courier., 1890-04-23
USUAL.

There is usually something on foot when man takes his way to the chiropodist.-B ton Courier.
 "Well you've got an awful nerve" as the man remarked to his tooth which had been aching for week.-Lawrence American.
 It is an awful temptation when the small boy with the garden hose sees the young man with blazer on.-Terre Haute Ex- press.
 "Do you know what the dollar sign is, Teddya" "Yeth 'um. It's an eth wid a wa;!woad runnin' over it."-Harpers Young People.
 Tramp (frankly)1"I am." Bjones lper- suasiyelyl l-"Let me see you tramp."-Min- neapolis Journal.
 Customer Gin cheap restaurant)-"I hope you don't call this square mealF' Waiter Wall. we'll call 1t square when you settle for ."-Yenowine's News. "Always get In the first blow," says a writer. People who live in districts where cyclones flourish should paste this in their l hats.-Burlington Free Press. In England.-First-s'I hear that you're engaged" Second (excitedlye e"Real1ys Are you sure9 To whoma Oh. I must ge and see mamma about it." Brushes out)-Life.
 The Right clew.-"That cat drank all the m1lK." 'Dlo you see Q6rF'' 'NOs JOuuuy 1 told me she did it." "Don't touch the cat; go and catch Johnny for me."-Baltimore Herald.
 "These are my household gods," he said to her as he entered his bachelor apartments. sBut you lack something," she remarked. l "Whatf' "A household goddess. ."-Mun- sey's Weekly.
 sWhat is a fret-cass ticket to Berling' "What do you bother about that forf You know what yoa want is only third class. :" "Oh, yes, of course, but may I not have the luxury of asking the price of first-class ticket."-Fliegende Blatter.
 Tailor-Well, Jones. how did your wife l like the new clothesi Jones-She acted just as she did when I first began to court her. Tailor-How was thats Laid her cheek on the lapelsa Jones-No; violently opposed my suit.-Philadelphia Inquirer. l Miss Hevyyrox-No, John, cannot listen to your love. Farewell forever! 1 John-Might ask one question: l "Yes"
 'tIs this a Simon-pure farewell or one of the Patti branda"-Harper's Bazar.
 Tenant-The windows in your house shut so badly that my hair blows all about my head. You must really have something l done to them. Landlord-I don't see the necessity for that. It would be much sim. pier for you to have your hair cut.- File gende Blatter.
 Squeers -"Yon're not looking we'll this morning, old man. Whats the matteI?" Nickleby-"No wonder! I was unconscious ten hours last night" Squeers-"By love!
 And up this morniugl Why, man, you ought to be under the doctors care. What was the msttera" Nickleby-''I was asleepl"-Law- renee American.
 l A Man to Avoid.-Gilroy-'' Snod- grass across the street; let's go over." Larkin -"No, thanks" Gilroy-"Why, l thought you were friends" Larkin-"So we were; but Snodgrass lives in the country now and don't care to hear nything about his garden i to -day.-The Bostonian.
 His Intentions were Good.-She Examining sketch of "Native in Costume of the Coun- try'D-"This was drawn from the life, tooa' He-"Yes; her brothers were looking over
 my shoulders while did it." She-"And yet you say they are hot blooded people, quick | to resent an insultg" He-"Indeed, they are. !"
 She-'How did you escape aliveFe-The Bos.
 tonian.