Mohave County miner., 1890-10-11
WIT AND HUMOR.

- Society.
The light that never was on sea oi
land must be a skylight. - BiHgtdn'1on
Republican.
"rli see you and raise you." as the
cyclone said 10 the house. e.--LaUT'racc
AmsTIeaH.
Unless q man has a character that
won't show dirt he had better Keep
cut of politics. Horn.
A man who cannot keep his own
knife ten minutes generally can Keep
borrowed blade ten ysars.-AsAsGana
Press.
The world is safe for another year.
The sweet girl graduates have settled
Everything in their essays.-'Bo'to1
Courier.
"What does the docter sayF" He
says my liver Is in bad way, bull ne
thinks he can save my bacon."-Aes'
York Sun.
He-'I have about made up my
mind 10 enter the army" She But
suppose there should be warr-htio
York Sun.
so Miss Bullion Il marri'dfs
"Yes.n Whom did she E1arl;y"
Nobody. She married title."--
Boston Courier. ....
Can / get an A. ID. r. messenger
here3" Yes. called one last week
and I'm expecting him here every
minute. ."-7he BostoHia,l.
It doesn't do to be too careful The
man who Bit n quarter and found that
it was bad left II in such shape that be
couldn't pass 1t anywhere
Ella lspitefuIly)-'Their marriage
was nothing but n trade union. "
Sophie---"A trade union?" Ella--"Yes;
she traded her money for his titlc"--
Puck.
When q man has the rep taticn Of
being plain spoken II is mid way Of
putting IL that he never sees anything
good to speak Of in others.
GLOBE.
Mr.. Bipps--'That medicine i took
this morning makes me feel like am
other man" Mrs. Bipps--Well. Il
hope to goodness you are. 1t is time. "
Epoch.
Winkers-'I haven't seen you at the
club for a week. You seem TO have
become a great home body lately
Blinkers-'Yes. Wife's away. ."-,NeD
Fork Weekly.
The King OF Bavaria pays no atten-
tion 10 his government, being engrDssed
In the study of musty old musical
scores. He never reigps. but he pores.
--SdUanHdh NeUS.
She-"Isn't II about time, Dick. that
we broke our engagement" He
"Why Is FTP" She-"Because every
one has stopped talking about it."-
Aunsey's Weekly.
Grimage-"Well, there's one thing
sure, no man could make fool OF
me-" Hayslitt-''No; that's fact.
He'd be throwing his time away
burlington Free Press.
Il would suggest ice cream" re-
marked Miss Bleecker. "but I'm dead
broke" Il, too, am ia mortal frag-
ments." replied Miss Beacon Street Of
lSOSAOus--&ftW 4Th Chfts
Gimme 2-cent razor" said John
ME as he placed the coins on the coun-
ter. That will" replied the store
keeper, and he handed him a yeast
cake.--Amertcan Grocer.
Mr.. Bullion-''You are far too young
to marry my daughter. You are only
49," Tom-"Yes, sir, but Miss Julia
is "a, so the two Of us would average
about right. "-The BostoHian.
1T was a pretty piggish thing in
Eve to eat the apple when she had
everything else she wanted. 20,
well. what could you expect2 She was
only sparerib. anyhow."-Epoch.
How comes il. man'selle, that you
are so eager to accept the attentions of
the Lieutenant? / thought you were
both engaged" so we are, but not
to each other. ."-Fliegende Blatter.
DO you know the kind Of figure you
cut in that bathing suit, BessieP" mo,
but it's No. /, I'm sure.r You've hit
it exactly" "HowP" Because ito
next to nothing. Philadelphia Times.
Eve--"Are you coming up to the
hop tonight, dear?" Bella ljust out
Of the water)-''No. love; have moth
ing new to wear" Eye--"O, that's |
all right. Come just as You are."-
Figaro.
"Will you review my next bookp"
asked one author Of another. with |
pleasure, my dear fellow" was the
brother authors reply, If you only
won't ask me to read it."-iSon,erviIte
Journal. ..
Miss Laura-"They say a wife never |
laughs at her husbands jokes. But II |
is not true. is itp" Mrs Potts
almost. You see nearly all the Jokes
my husband makes are about me.n-
Terre Haute Ezpress.
Cumso-"Do you know I really |
heard one lady praise another ladyis
hat to-day" Brown-"Dear mew |
Cumso-'Yes, the one who did the |
praising was the milliner who made |
the hat-"-AsHSey's Weekly.
He-"Why do you call your dog |
ZeroF thought that you named him
Tom, after your iiance.n She-"I
used to, but Tom fell so many degrees
10 my estimation that l thought Zero
the better name."--New Pcrk Herald.
fair Applicant-"And how long do
you Ihink. SIR, 1t will take to prepare
myself for the stagePr Manager
That depends first on YOU. ability in
securing a husband and then on your
agility In getting a divorce. ."--Jndqe.
Creditor-"When are you going to
pay your deDtsp" Debtor--''T6at's
none Of your confounded business. "
l need my money"