The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-24
BRIGHT BITS.

Mrs. Shave we everything out of the
house now?
Mr S.-Everything but the children. You
know the landlord won't allow them in the new
house.-LVe.
WHEN girl is little and bashful her mother
makes her play with the boys and she doesn' t
want to, but when she is large and wants to
play with the US her mother doesn't want her
to.-AtchiSon Globe.
WILLIE" saba lawyer to his son, did 1
hear you swearing this atternoon?"
NO father. may have been affirming with
unnecessary emphasis, but l wasn't swear
sing. " Washington Post,
THE SANE OLD Oux.-"Did YOU tell the grocer.
that | am not receiving calls of any kind to-
days"
''Yessir; but be said as how you ought to ap-
point receiver chen. Puck.
MAN IN CARRIAGE down sputh)-I say, colon
ell, can you direct me to Blankve:
Man on Horseback-I'm no colonel.
Man in Carriage-Well. well. Stranger like
myself, eh?-Neu York Weekly.
'HALLoA, what are doing now?''
'P acticing law
only practicng? Why, you were practcing
ten years ago. When are you going to get it
worked up into a regular buSiness?"-E
''NoT feeling well, dear boy?"
90 little bwaiu flag you know. That's all
I've adopt d a course of mental exercises"
What do you do?"
NOuAGo AudulCd CFClJ Odgs - W uSitLftytOn
Post.
AS FAR AS He EVER GoT.-"Mercy, Sidney
What makes you look 50 serious?"
I'm writing some verses on spring."
'Blank verse or rhyme?'
Blank, far. I've only got one line
HdrDer'S BdzGr.
MERCHANT (angrIy, to a lady who insists upon
beating him down in price)-Why. madam,
am really making you present of the goods.
Lady-All right, then, will take it; but be
sure you send it to the house before o o'clock
Fliegende Batter.
WERE you in the White Mountains last
summers"
Yes Had a GOOD time
is there any game in the mountains now?'
30, yes we played tennis and bean-bags all
the time. "-Hdypcr'S Bdzdr
WIcKERs-There goes man who is making
money right along, and have no doubt that il
you Went at it rgut, he would let you in on the
ground floor.
Vickars- What is his business?
Wickers-Hes turnkey at the county jail
Terre Hdute Express.
A GOOD srorY is told about the Hon. Alfred
Deakin one o. Victoria's representatives at the
late federal conference. Before he took to pol
iIcS he was leaderwriter for the Melbourne
-Age. A wellknown Irish wit, meeting the ed
itor of tdat journal on day. airily remarked:
Il say, you on yht to have something more than
a deacon IN your office-somet hing highsr-you
ought to have bishop on your staff"
"A bishop Why so?'
Because your statements are so sadly in
need OF confirmation. Pal Null Gazette
Too FAcETIoUs.-'C Columbus said St. Peter,
as he partially opened the gate, "here's Tom
Platt. Tnink we'd better let him inf'
an speak to him.n said Christopher "Mr
Platt,Hiy did you oppose tie fair in1my honor:'
Il thou INT it wouldn't be good politics to let
1t q On, "said Mr. Plat. 49,
And why did you afterward express a differ
ent .opiniony" O.
80 Because 1 was in the express business, and
could express ali the opinions l wanted to with
out charge" ~
Frank. but too funny" remarked st. Peter,
as hh closed the gate and left the eX- president
OF the United States Express COMPANY outside
Puck.