davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-23
IN JEST AND EARNEST.

Men solace themselves with cigars. but
women SO lace themselves with cOrsets.- YsnO-
tOtHss -Sssos.
Don't fret about what your reputation will
he after death. Tombstones are mighty charita-
e.-BurEin0toR FrsS Press.
An exchange says that the oolOring matter
in sreenbacks is deadly poison. Rodentsl We
don't scare.-Ldl0Tencs american.
"Giye me the man who sings at his work, "
SAYS a writer He can have him. Also the man
who whistles at his work. -Horrfstolcn Herald.
AIgy (who has more than he wants.
Poohl Riches have wings.
Poor Jack (who hasn't enough)-Maybe; but
they're mighty slow in flying toward fellow
Tezds StfttRgs,
Dudely-You look at me as if you thought
stranger-why. no; you can't be such fool,
after all. Your remark shows that you read
mans thoughts at glance.-TezaS SVtiRgs.
do you see that man over there?" said
one rural visitor in the House gallery to another.
'The one who was jes speakin'?''
eyes. He was once famous Know Nothing"
'sweII, he don't seem TO be clean over it, yet"
- -WdsbiB0t0R Post.
Old Gentleman shall report you, young
man. Why didn't you stop your car before? Here
have been running after your car more than .
block.
Conductor-An right guv'nor; I'm sorry, but
ain't like pertater, with eyes all oysr'-4s1os
8lIttH1s.
What genius you areP' exclaimed q
young lady visiting an inventors workroom. Il
believe you could make almost everything
'sYes, - replied the young man modestly. rs
there anything you woald like TO see me MAKE. "
.'Make me an offer, - whispered the girl, shyly.
-Aunsey's Weekly.
willits-''So Pauline Gushington, the
poetess is your wife, Ell? You're lucky dog. to
be married 10 . woman who is so loving a. she
must be-"
Millets-'.I don't know about that. Iou see.
she writes that kind OF truck for money. And she
Is not In the habit Of talking shop around home"
-Terre Hduts EEpTsSs.
THE sLowEsT THING,
Slowly the dial finger moves when one is
waiting for his love;
Slowly the stars to unlearued eyes creep cross The
Armament ABOVE;
slowly the snal prOpelS himself and slowly opes
the coming flower,
Rut nanRht on earth seems quitg 20 llov a krRiHa
taEt run ten miles ~ hour.
-oASosgo EspstG.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-23
NONSENSE ABOUT THE NEGRO.

A Boston man proposes to solve the
negro question in the South by moving all,
or at least five or six millions, of the negroes
to the West, permitting them to found two
States and show what they can do in the
line of self government. This is undiluted
nonsense, for two reasons. In the first place
the negroes are entitled to the aid, advice
and leadership Of the more intelligent of
their fellow citizens, white or black. In the
next the declaration that the South wants
to get rid of them is shallow humbug.
Southern statesmen may talk that way for
political effect; but the moment anyone
commences an organized movement to get
the negroes TO emigrate, at once the
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-23
FARMING OUT FREAKS.
A Museum Trust TO Control All the Curiosl-
ties In the Country.

A Museum Trust to Control All the CuriosI-
ties In the Country.
NEW YORK, February 22.-The rumor Of a
"Dime Museum Trust" is not freak Of fancy.
Mr.. W. II. Graham. an investor of English
capital. and two other Wall street brokers, have
formed financial syndicate to buy and man.
age all the large dime museums in the country.
They will hire and control all the valuable ''liv-
ing curloslties'' and all the important '.freaks
of nature" in the United States. The news has
aroused good deal of curiosity among the
public and good deal Of excitement among
the "curiosities."
One of the owners of a Grand street museum
said last evening: "The syndicate has offered
us S26, 600 for our place of amusement. which
we will not sell for less than S300O0. The trust
will own three dime museums in New York.
1t will have two museums in Chicago, two in
Philadelphia and one in every other large city
in the country. The syndicate has an amor
nous capital, and will make long contracts
with all the frst-class freaks in the country
1t will employ them 81 weeks year, exhibiting
them from fall to spring in its own museums
and farming them out to circuses and side
shows inthe summer"
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-23
EDUCATIONAL LAwLEssNEss.

The college youth is especially busy at
this present time, in the task of demonstrat-
ing himself to be an ass II he were con-
tent to write himself in large characters a
plain, inohensive donkey it would not much
matter. The confraternitY of ordinary fools
is 50 large that the reinforcement of ma
jority of the undergraduates interest would
not change the balance one way or the other.
But when the beneficiary of scholastic in
stitutions and endowments displays himself
with much pains as blackguardly and law
less fool, it is high time to take measures
with him.
The mildest form of Undergraduate idiocy
manifested itself the other day at the neigh
boring institution of Washington and Jefer-
son. There an entire class took it into their
heads to "eut" recitatiOns, and were sur
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-23
IMITATORS OF AMERICANS.
The Japs Like This Country and Are Adopt
Ing Its Customs.

The Japs Like This Country and Are Adopt
Ing It's Customs.
From the New York Star.I
One Of the oldest things in the history Of the
present age Is the admiration which Japan has
for the United States. Forty years ago they
were an isolated community, keeping them
selves carefully aloof from all civilized nations
To-day their clothing institutions, ways and
manners are copied from our own, The first Of
their race who came over here were q troupe Of
acrobats; now there are more than %, 600 within
our borders. In this city they have a club
many stores, offices and boarding houses. They
prosper in their new home, and form . very
good element of our population.
run across their Consul here quite often.
He has queer name, Saburo Full. but he Is
very delightful person. He belongs to the
highest rank in Japan, holding position eer-
responding to that of a Duke in Great Britain.
His culture is famous at home, he having car
ried off the leading honors of the schools and
college where he studied in both Japan and
England. He is about IS years of age, is ruddy,
smiling, well fed and speaks our language like
native. He enjoys our music and drama, and
is frequent visitor to our leading houses Of
amusement.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-23
FISH BROUGHT FROM AFRICA,

A COnsiEnmont Of Mnckerel From CnDe
Town to the Boy Stnte.
PROVIDENCE, MASS, February %. - The
long Acknowledgements african mack
erel arrived here last night by packet schooner
Lucknow, coming from Cape Town via London
in steamers. The consignment which consists
of So casks holding about three barrels each,
was opened for inspection this morning at the
packing sheds Of the Union Fish Company, on
railroad dock, by Agent Collins, to whom they
were consigned. They are sweet and in first
class order,
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-23
NOT FEELING THANKFUL
An Action of Lutheran Conference That
Excites Comment.


CHICAGO. February 22.-The recent action Of
the Illinois Conference of the Swedish Luther
an Church, now in session at Rockford. ILL.,. is
exciting considerable comment among the min
listers of all denominations in this city. A reso-
luton th anking God for the general prosperity
of the last year was defeated by the farmer lay
delegates on the ground that they had expert
enced no great amount of prosperity. DR.. AK
Parker. of the Centennial Baptist Church,
when questioned concerning the curious action
of the Conference, said: ''In all probability
there was some flaw in the wording of the reso-
luton, not now apparent which caused Its de:
feat. 1t is hardly possible chat gathering OF
Christian gentlemen would refuse to oter due
thanks to God"
'If there was no prosperity. as claimed by
the farmer lay delegates" said Prof. David
Swing, you could hardly expect them to give
thanks. 1t is safe to say that the farmers
couldn't be expected to vote thanks to God for
prosperity it they hadn't had any, whether
spiritual or agricultural. They have the ex-
ample Of Dr. Beecher, Henry Ward Beechers
father, on this. DR.. Beecher and his family
were in his carriage riding, near Batavia. o.,
years ago, and the horse ran of and tumbled
them all out. Harriet Beecher at once fell on
her knees to offer thanks to Goo for their mir
aculous preservation. DR.. Beecher, observing
her, said: You needn't thank God for me, for
Pm badly hurt The moral is that you need
not thank God for blessings unless you have
received them"
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-23
HARD ON THEATRICAL TROUPES.
An Interstate Commerce Decision May
Force Companies to Quit the Road.

An Interstate Commerce Decision May
Force Companies to Quit the Road.
BALTIMORE, February 22-In regard to the
decision of the Interstate Commerce Conn mis-
sion, IN the case of the Pittsburg,
Cincinnati and st. Louis Railroad against
the Baltimore and Ohio Company,
announced yesterday, Manager Ford said
this evening: '"The loss to theatrical companies
by change of railroad fares from cents to
cents mile. will be such that great many
now on the road will be compelled to give up
before the end of the season. The decision If
sustained, will cost the larger companies from
$l5, 900 to $40 900 season. which virtually wipes
out all the profits"
Vice President Lord spoke as follows: I'm
advance of the receipt of an official copy of the
decision of the Interstate Commerce Commits
sion. am unable to say what viii be the action
OF the Baltimore and Ohio. The tickets have
not however, been on sale for points cas-: of the
Ohio river for a long time past, and were good
only within the lines Of the Central Traffic AS
sociation, or between the Ohio and Mississippi
rivers. At least 20 roads, and perhaps more,
have been selling the tickets in question, and
the suit against the Baltimore and Ohio was in
the nature of a test case. Whether we shall
abide by the decision of the Interstate Com
merce Commission, or shall go into court and
contest the question, will not be settled until
after the decision is received"
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-23
AUNT ELIZA AND THE ORGAN.
Her Opposition to instrumental Music
Cnuses n LIN wsulf.

Her Opposition to instrumental Music
Cnuses n lawsuit.
NEW PHILADELPHIA, O., February o.
Prof. John Orth, of this place. sold the Metho-
dist Episcopal Church, near Port Washington,
an organ, the instrument to be paid for when
there was enough money in the treasury. A
very eccentric and pious old lady known all
over the neighborhood as Aunt Eliza'' is Bit
terly opposed to church organs. There is where
the trouble began. She attended divine SER
vices regularly, but the moment the organ be-
gan playing Aunt Eliza" would walk out and
sit on the church steps with her fingers in her
ears until it ceased and then returned for the
sermon, To put an end to all the trouble the
church trustees carried the organ out and
placed it in the corner of field.
Prof. Orth, driving along the road one day,
was shocked to see the new instrument out in
the rain with half dozen chickens roos ting on
it. He sued the church trustees for damages
and the case has just ended in Common Pleas
Court, the jury rendering the Professor dam
ages to the amount of the value of the organ.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-23
A GERMAN PUBLISHERS SCHEME.
Renting Attic Rooms to Secure Space for
Advertising PoaIera.

Renting Attic RooDIs to Secure SDnce for
Advertising Posters.
GBY DUNLAP's CABLE coMPANY.1
BERLIN, February 22-The local newpaper,
the BerEiner Auszetger, has suddenly acquired
an enormous circulation by q very clever trick,
suggested by an American, On hundreds OF
walls in the city huge signs were posted bearing
the legend. in German: "The AUszei0er has
the largest circulation the world" The law
forbidding the pasting of signs or piacards on
houses, except by the inhabitants thereof, the
police warned the manager Of the paper that he
must take down the announcements, whereupon
he Immediately hired a small attic room in
each house, and thus established the right Of
pasting the signs The police now are at
tacking the Attszetger for willfully circumVent-
ing the law.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-23
WHAT BOTHERED MABEL.

A Child's TruthfaI Frnnkness Somewhat
Emburrnsses Her MOfhor.
From the Lewiston Journal
APortland family had company one day and
little Mabel was helping her mother in prepar-
ing supper. Her mother told her privately to
spread the cloth on the table, and be sure and
have the neatest part at the lady VISITORS side.
After endeaVoring to do as near as she was re-
quested she went to the visitor, child like, and
much TO the mothers discontinue, she ex-
claimed:
"Only think mamma wanted me TO give you
the eIeanest part of the tablecloth and can't
find any clean part to itp'
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-23

The statement that the Louisiana lottery
will next attack the Montana Legislature calls
forth from the Philadelphia Press the remark
that the attempt to get a lottery charter in
Montana will be baked by constitutional pro-
hibition. We hope this is true; but the
esteemed Press need not go outside Of Penn
sylvania to discover that constitutional pro-
hibtions can be nullihed, If the corporation
seeking to do SO is only strong and rich enough.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-23
A MODEL IN EVERY SENSE.
Complete and Reliable News From All the
World in The Dispatch.

NOWpieto un0 henaDle NeWB FROM All Inc
World in The Dispatch.
From the Parkersburg Daily Sentinell
When we want to read the news of the world,
and look for that which is most reliable and
trustworthy, we invariably turn to The PITTS
BURG DISPATCH, model newspaper In every
sense. AS news gatherer It is unsurpassed by
any other journal either in or out of the great
cities, and in the quantity and quality of its
news it is thoroughly metropolitan. A sur
prising nose tor news, care for the truth and
presentation in q readable form Of the worlds
daily happenings are prominent characteristics
of THE DISPATCH that make it so great and
attractive newspaper.
The Sunday edition OF THE DISPATCH has
now reached circulation exceeding $1,000 and
is one of the best in the country. 1t is Yeritable
magazine of pleasant literature, Of 20 large
pages, made up of the news of the day. cor
respondence from home and abroad and enter
tanning fiction.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-23
THE story chat M CLEVELAND mat with a,

The story that Mr.. Cleveland met with an
ejaculation some of the attempts of his sup.
porters on election night to argue that hope
might still be obtained from Michigan and Illi-
nois, causes Republican organ to ask, Ibid
Mr.. Cleveland really indulge in profane Ian
guage?" Considering that the story is that he
hurled the big d. at an attempt to keep up the
claim of victory after defeat was evident, the
attempt to make it appear that he used profane
language over his defeat. is not less mean that
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-23

IT is reported that competition among
the crematories of Paris has grown SO active
as to reduce the cost of disposing of a corpse
to the cheap price of 90 cents Under the
operation of this economic force, death has
ceased to be a luxury and has become neces-
e,hr
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-23

The announcement of a city cotemporary
that the FESTIVAL of Dogs" has begun at one
of the East End churches leaves the reader in
painful doubt as to whether the canine race
partakes of the occasion in an active or pas
siTe sense. In other words, are we to hope that
the dogs enjoy it or that they are enjoyed a Ia
ChiuoiSF
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-23

THE statement that Bismarck has revived
his old policy of threatening to resign, recalls
the fact that he often used that method Of car
rying his point with the present Emperor's
grandfather. But the characteristics of office
holders are shown to be similar in Germany to
America by the fact that the first Emperor
died in old age before Bismarck really got re-
sipnad-
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-23

The announcement that a new building
is to be put up on the site OF the Wiley build
ing makes it pertinent to express the hope that
the new structure will be built more carefully
than the old one The terrible object lesson as to
the results of undue haste will probably insure
more deliberate and lasting work in this in
stance,
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-23

The Jr. o. o. A. M. left nothing to be
desired, and nothing to be criticised, in the
magnitude or complete arrangements of
their celebration of the memory of
Washington. They can only outshine them.
selves when it comes to the unveiling of the
monument.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-23
A Job for the Mule.

From the Greensburg Argus.1
A Greensburg barber has hired mule whose
sole duty is to kick him increasingly for an
entire week-and for this reason: Recently he
purchased a one-tenth ticket in a lottery and
soon afrerward sold it for what it cost him to ].
]. Rickart. of Maple avenue. Saturday he re-
ceiVed notice that his ticket had drawn the one
tenth of $500 prize. P. S.-The mule is full
filing his contract to the best of his ability.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-23
A PET RATS COSTLY PRANK.
He Sets New York House on Fire, Caus-
ing Loss of $500.

ing a Loss of $500.
NEW YORK, February 22-The Terkuloski
family living on the first and second floors of
the house No. 377 Grand street, consists of
Louis, the father, his wife and three children,
and, until yesterday, large, overfed rat Now
the rat is dead The rat made its appearance
several months ago and its peculiar antics so
amused the Terkuloskis that they decided to
make it one of the family. Yesterday morning
they were sorry for it. About O'clock the
family were awakened by the smell Of smoke,
wall. in which the rat lived. in flames. Louis
ran to the front door and yelled fire" while
his wife sat in a chair and screamed as if her
life depended on it.
The firemen came, and when the place had
been damaged by water about $500 worth. the
FIRE was subdued The rat was found between
the castings of the wall, burned to death,
Beside it were found the remnants of several
matches and 1t was evident that in some man.
ner the rodent started the fire by chewing on
the sulphur, Mr.. TerkulOski says he will have
no more rats in his place, as they come too high
Mt $500 each,
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-23

TALK is once more heard of Robert Lin
coin for President in 1892. There seems to be
good treason for concluding that, if we are to
continue to choose Presidents on the ancestral
plan, it might be wise to try a variety of an
cestorS
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-23

AFTER the Chicago stOckyards have been
carefully unloaded on our British friends, per
haps it will be no longer necessary for the rail-
way kings who have heretofore held = con-
trolling interest in that establishment to so
manipulate their rates as to force all the live
stock and beef business of the country to pay
tribute to just exactly those stockyards.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-23
DEATHS OF A DAY.
John Cree.

SPECIAL. TELEGRAM TO THE DIsPATUH.
CHAMBERsBURG, February 22.-John Cree died
all local religious insti tutions, and had been an
elder In the Presbyterian Church for IS years. He
was the father, OF James Cree, OF Pittsburg, and
Thomas X. Cree, International Secretary of the
Young Mems Christian Association.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-23

WASHINGTON birthday bore fruits
yesterday in the development of plan to raise
a memorial to independence at Philadelphia as
well as in the laying of the corner stone of the
Washington monument in Pittsburg. The
good work is going on briskly,
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-23
IRISH LEADERS IN AMERICA.
Two Members Of Parliament Cordially We'll
coined mt San francisco.

comed nt San FFnnclsco.
SAN FRANCISCO, February 22-Among the
passengers ON the steamer Australia, which ar
rived from Honolulu at an early hour this
morning, were the Irish leaders, John Dillon,
M. p, and Sir Thomas H. Grafton Esmonde,
M. P. Considerable preparation had been
made here TO receive the visitors, and when
committee of Irish-American citizens and a
large number OF other persons were in waiting
ON the wharf, and extended welcome to the
home rule advocates.
The visitors were taken at once to the hotel,
where committee waited upon them, and pre-
sented them with an address of welcome con-
graduating them upon their successful efforts
throughout the Australian colonies and other
places in the Southern hemisphere, in behalf of
the Irish cause. This afternoon an informal
reception was held at the rooms Of the guests.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-23

SOME one claims to have detected Mark
Twain in plagiarism. Considering that Mark
has not written anything for some years, he
must have plaglarized from the vast multitude
of people in past ages who presented eminent
examples of doing nothing at all.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-23

South proceeds to place its lawless veto
on any disturbance of its labor. The fact is
that the South would more deeply resent
any attempt to deprive it of its negro labor
than the attempt to educate and elevate that
lahnr
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-23

IT is reported that the Chinese are flock
ing into Siberia in such great numbers that
the Government is shutting them out 1t
must be that the Chinese do not afford enough
amusement to the Russians by committing sui
eide after fogging.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-23
HER TwENTY-sECOED CHILD.

GeOi G. Washington Higgins the --latest Ar
rival mt n Tiain Home.
rsPEciAL TELEGRAM To THE DIsPATcai
TIFFIN, February 22-Mrs. Michael Higgins,
wife Of glassblower, lately OF Steubenville,
to-day gave birth to her twenty-seoond child.
1t was boy and was named George Washing.
ton.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-23

THE man who takes dynamite home and
dries it on the stove makes his appearance reg
ularly in the newspapers. The case up in
Greensburg yesterday was attended with the
usual fatal results.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-23

AN airbrake for cable roads will be an
improvement for the benefit of the public. The
completion of such an invention by the West
Company will earn the public appre-
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-23
whore Blood Runs Thin.

FROM the Atehison Globe.]
Blood may be thicker than water, but did
anyone ever know . girl who would not steal
her brothers. cigars to give to someone else?
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-23
Not n Political Aspiration.

From the New York Evening World.l
A great many American girls, not in politics
at all, are just as anxious as can be to get fair
Count.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-23

P0STAGE-An persons who mail the
Sunday issue of The Dispatch to friends
should bear in mind the fact thnr the post.
HRe thereon is Two (2) Gents. All double
and triple number copies of The Dispatch
require n 2-ceut stump to insure prompt
delivery.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-23

THE Republican gag tactics in the Ma
tional House of Representatives are adopted
with glee by the Democratic majority in the
West Virginia Legislature. This illustrates
the difference it makes whose OK is gored.