The Caucasian. (Clinton, N.C.) 188?-1913, 1890-04-24
SAMPSON'S BILL ARP
Sorts of Feuds--Gossip--the state
of Man.
f>pecia! Correspondent


is a small feud that operates |
III more narrow compass. But |
it is entitled to al the respect,
rights and privileges, To which |
the foregoing feuds might By |
any possibility be heir, either
apparent. presnmptive, in ex-
pectancy or reversion. You may
tip your hat to it three times a
day and smile every time you
meet 1t. And when it gets too
hold,you ma take 4 back street,
quit the public road, go through
the woods, and ten t. one you
will meet him bluff III the face.
Now his name is "Old family
feud." He sits on juries, high
up in the church, puts in an
appearance at the poles on
election days. You must speak
when you meet him, or he gets
mad; if you do speak he gets
mad, So II is mad any way. If
you try to cool him off lie
boils, and you feel like ex~
claiming, deliver us. a person
who has fallen heir to old
family feud. has got a vast
estate on his hands, and he
could well afford to be quite
generous indeed, and they al
most always are. They reckon
up their estate at breakfast,
make calculations until dinner,
consider the cost Of collection,
until supper, and dream all
night how to revive bad &C
counts, and every public day
and court times they fling open
their books for public inspec-
ton, to their own h0nor, and
disgust of the community, in
which they live. An heir of
old family fend gets the whole
estate. There is no cheating
him out Of it. For every way
he turns he gets compound in
terest on the whole investn. ent,
and soo,: he gets such an ac-
culnulati2n Of capital, that it
becomes serious question as to
how he shall exhaust his
treasury. He pours it in The
ears of his lawyer, into the ears
Of his minister, into the ears Of
his wife, and a brcil and a hate
is the first lesson he has learned
bis children; He dreams over
nurses it half the night. He
awakes in the morning to hing
not a delusive fancy, but a
sturn reality. He is a legatee
of old family feud. He is vexed
at brother Tom, mad with sister
Sue, hates uncle Joe, don't
speak to lis brother in-law, and
would not attend his fathers
funeral. by this time he has
got so much business on hand,
he quits the retail trade, and
hangs out wholesale sign:
, "feudo, feudi, feIderv, feude
feudum, feud." His fire is Lii
, and left burning. "Then the
endless trail is taken up by Mr.
Tel!taIe, Mrs Taller and Miss
Gossip. They put their heads
+ together to see how is the bes'
! plan to circulate report, pro
badly that is calculated to bias
I the character 0: Il pure woman
! and ruin the hopes Of a gooC
man, and throw society int
o confu sion. Now don't you tel
, it, | went over to Mr.. Soesoe tt
q day, don't you breath this, anC
o | heard lots, DON'T mention it
!, you know John Doe and Salli,
; Jinks, | would not have m
rame in it for This whole world
! Dear me | don't know what i
:, going TO come next. What eve
A you do keep it to yourself.The
o Miss Gossip will tell somethin
or burst, and on it goes, soon /
- gets SO like the wind, you can
=, tell 'frOm whence it came O
whittier it gneth." II ou KIN ,
, anything is wrong, ont with i
and purge society. If you don
keep you: tongue still and le
r S,f it bs clean.
If Well a man has got u har
rt time in this world any way
'e when he is a little baby the
0 put long dresses on him All
Is near bout brrah his feet, kee
% him squallins all the tune, the
h they say III bIby is tretfu.l,
at don't know what Is to matte
n with him. Then they wad hin
n full OF soothing syrup, kce
le h,E stup fed all the tim, al
a. you need not onder at his IL,
I'd having any SENSE when he ge
ty grown. They beat him "a,
at cuff him when he gets up Ii
en tie size because he has playe
+. in the wet yard, and ha: caugl
OF the croop, and when he gets
e little larger Ills father take
~ hold Of him and s!aps him sid
= the head hard enough to "knoc
re the taste ont OF his mouth
d. then he il started to sc '.ool an
In the teacher scolds and bea
d. him, when he gets &. own he h;
b. a love scrape, finally marrir
as settles down To bard dow
he misery, bas law suit o. tw
re and if he is right lucky he die
Dk. aud the Iasf Stat.a af that