Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1890-06-24
A ReGiMENTAl MAGPiE.
His Antics Would Upset Almost Every
thing in the Army Camp.

His Antics Would Upset Almost Every
thing in the Army Camp.
He was only a maybe, but such magpiei
At first he belonged to private in regi-
ment out on the alkali plains of Nevada
Then the company adopted him as its own,
and finally from the Proprietorship of Com
pany b, he became the regimental magpie,
only, instead of the regiment owning him,
he owned the regiment There never was a
slicker, more self satisfied beast, and mischief
and antics without end were ON his pro-
gramme. He could whistle; he could dance:
he could mock anything that sings, and inn
itate anything that walks; a magpie, YOU
know, doesn't hop, it walks, like a crow or
blackbird. On dress parade it would turn out
with the regiment, and follow the officer of
the day up and down the line with the most
dignified strut imaginable. The soldiers
could hardly keep straight faces when the
bird would scold the colonel as he gave his
orders
Blly-that was his name-would occasion
ally steal, and only close and constant watch
ing would reveal his hiding places. Some
times he would succeed IN caching his thefts
for two or three months before detection fol-
lowed. Then couple of quarts OF coins,
currency, stamps, buttons, pipes, tobacco,
cigars, straps thread, forks, spoons and
small trfies would be unearthed Ii he
caught any one spying upon him he would
be as crafty as a fox and put up all sorts of
lodges To throw the detective off the track
He would make false leads, fly off a mile in
the sage bush, aud then sneak into the fort
close to the ground, so that no one might see
him.
Finally the regiment was ordered to an
other post Billy went along after much
protesting and scolding on his part He
knew something was up. and hustled around
after his various treasures, which he brought
in from every quarter and dumped in IA heap
in one of the quartermaster' wagons. Some
things were recovered which had been miss
ing for over year. When the troops
marched Billy flew alongside, with numerous
private excursions and picnic parties all by
himself off into the surrounding country,
but he was always on hand at meal times and
ut night.
At San Francisco ship was taken for
Portland, Ore, and Billy came, too He
didn't like it much, and made several trips
back and forth between ship and dry land
Chinatown seemed to strike his fancy, but
he finally concluded to hold fast to his old
friends
His career came near terminating the sec
ond day out The window of the captains
state room was down and Billy perched on
the ledge. He watched the captain picking
out the ships course on the chart and max
ing calculations and entries. After while
the captain walked out and Billy few ill.,
Everything was handy. He stuck his bill in
the ink bottle and took swallow. 1t didn't
suit his stomach as well as it did his COM
plexion, and he proceeded to wipe his face
on the charts. The nibs of his bill made a
very good pen and drew beautiful lines, so
he tried it with another moutbful. Bee-auti-
full The chart looked finer than before He
dropped a whole mouthful on the chart and
walked in it. Then he walked over the table
cloth and tine white Counterpart of the cap
tain's berth, and wound up by tipping the
ink over, wiping his mouth ont with piece
of the log book, and flying off With pair of
silver dividers.
When the captain came in there was blue
lightning. The tell tale tracks betrayed the
culprit.
The captain grabbed down n loaded shot
gun from its brackets over the door, and
started on deck swearing that he would kill
the magpie on sight. When the soldiers heard
his threats fifty of them grabbed their rifles,
and threatened to shoot the captain if he
harmed Billy. There was danger of mutiny
right there, and the officers had sense enough
to see it. They pacified the Infatuated mari
ner, and Billy escaped. His end was untime-
ly. Some months later he got to fooling with
the mechanism of a breech loading field
piece, and the lever fell down ON him and
smashed his inquisitive head INV Washington
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