The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1890-08-15
MISS BECK.
Sayings and Doings of the "Old
Maids Club


'Get married, suppose" said Pearl
Davenport, the youngest and prettiest
of the group. 81 think that would as
tonish folks generally"
! Get married, indeed! l wouldn't
marry any man in this town, at all
events" said Nelly West. II went
down to the store last night after some
thread, and had to thread my way
no pun intended-between two rows of
representative benedicts. There was
Judge Armstrong, with a pipe as long
as my arm, his yellow hair standing
out twenty-four ways for Sunday, and
droning platitudes on law to Father
Kelley, who sat aStride barrel of
vinegar, let US hope-listening with
sleepy eyes, and tooth-pick between
his lips! There were the Barry's, father
and son, hugging the stove, enveloped
in thick cloud of cigar-smoke; indeed
the whole male population seemed to
be there, chatting each other, lounging
against the counters, and looking so
lazy and listless, while their wives were
working at home like beavers, I'll be
bound. No. thank you,' and the girl
shook her head with humorous decision.
! You were the one to suggest the
matter" said comely, dark-eyed girl,
pausing in perpleXity over an unfinished
buttonhole, and surveying it with a
comical look of distress, 80 you must
invent the something that is going to
astonish this slow-going town. l know
one thing, the poor children of this par
ish should accfr wear buttons, if | could
help it."
. why, what would you substitute?'
asked Florence Benson.
Strings, everywhere was the i'm
patient reply.
And then bag with string to put
them in, poor little things" said Miss
Benson. Here, give it over to me; |
like to make them. But, as | was say
ing, | hope we none of us really care to
marry just now. What say you, Ada
HUMPHREYS? I'm going to take the
sense of the meeting as Elder Doddy
puts it. You are to be doctor, and
need every minute of your time to study
anatomy and medicine. Nelly West,
your ambition points to art, and the
faint hope of having a picture hung on
the line at the academy some day in the
near-or far future. Pearl Davenport,
you have had several stories accepted
by the magazine, and what is better,
paid for. We look to you for the forth
coming great American novel. You,
Miss Beck, having kept the 'de-stric'
school for nearly five years, it would be
sheer stupidity in you to allow any one
else to take your place, for we all know
that teachers, like poets, are born, not
made. Besides, you are the oldest, and
at the ripe age of twenty-five you sure
ly ought to be able to advise us. Now.
girls, l will present my scheme, and
please don't faint, any of you. l pro-
pose that we form an old maids club"
well, that is original, and rather re-
freshing," said Pearl Davenport, arch
ing her pretty eyebrows till they met
the fluffy bangs of yellow hair that
curled naturally and becomingly over
her white forehead.
Il like the idea," said Nelly West
SIT will prove to the people that we
have distinct purpose in life, that of
qualifying ourselves for especial fields
of usefulness"
What shall we do at the club?''
asked Ada HUMPHREYS.
That is an after consideration" said
the first speaker, laughing. There are
some things we won't do. We won't
compare love-letters, anyway, or talk |
about our neighbors any more than is !
necessary for their good, nor Islander
the horrid' men. We can determine on
our plans for the future, read, recite,
sing and have a good time generally, all |
to ourselves. / don't suppose we shall |
have many new members, but we don't |
care for that. We will pledge ourselves !
to each other, as the ladies famous in |
history, Lady Emily Butler and Miss
Sarah Ponsonby, did. At all events,
we can promise that we won't be mar
ried for a year, and at the end of that |
time renew the pledge, if practicable" |
I'm agreed" said Miss Beck. show !
ing small, uneven teeth as she spoke. |
81 hope you don't think would burden |
any man with such bundle of ailments |
and nerves as l am, and I'm only wait |
ing for Ada HUMPHREYS to come out a |
fnll-hedged doctor with diploma to |
put myself into her hands, when she |
may kill or cure me, don't much care
which"
''Well, girls" said Ada HUMPHREYS,
the doctor-to be, " if you are waiting for
my verdict, like the idea very much.
OF course people will talk, but if l I'M
derstand Alright, we none of us care for
that, as the community is waiting to be
We settled all about peo-
pie in general, and Miss Namely in par
ticular, some time ago. give my vote
in favor of the club. We all intend to
set the river on fire-that is if grass ever
grows in it, and don't know why we
should not have a distinctive society
with a taking name. We can reform the
world in altogether better style if the
gentlemen don't bother u.s." she laugh
ingly added.
The result of this conference was that
the club was formed then and there.
And such gossip as followed! The
young ladies, all of them of high social
who had taken up the cross,
as the Daily Advocate put it, were the
observed of all observers. But the club
for all that. For five years