The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-05-21

STRAws tbs true. can show the way
Whereto the wind may blow;
But straws do also point the road
The sherry cobbers 60.
Philadelphia Times.
If you are not pretty when you're young,
This consolation hold
That in some fifty years or SO
You will be pretty old.
-.Judoe
WILL you marry me, Ethel!n said the
for" '-N'' JIG 0'--u " ''i
''Then why do you want mes'-Life.
HENRY WATTERsoN is credited with having
prepared this epitaph for Col. Thomas Ochiltree,
Of Texas Here lies Tom Ochiltree; he never
did anything lse.''-Colunlb1ts dispatch.
If, IN THE HEAT of family quarrel the angry
wife makes a'moveito pick us fiatiron, by no
means is this TO be taken as implying willing
ness to smooth things over.-Detroit Free
Press.
Il IS" BEGAN TOMMY, when his teacher
interrupted him. THAT is wrong; you should
say Il an" "All right" said Tommy. II am
the ninth letter of the alphabet "-Harper's
BGzar.
THE LAST REsoRr.-Jockey-I'v trained all
l know how and I'm still four pounds over
weight
Horse owner-It looks as though you d have
to take bath after alL-Mamseu's Weekly.
EASTERN KEsTUcKY JUSTICE OF THE PEAcE-I
liuC y Ou % LOT COuU6IflDU o COQU, Sdr.
Attendant-On what grounds, your honor?
Justice OF the Peace-You took the constable
out jes while ago and treated him, an never
said word to the cont.-Life.
VANDERcHuMP-I don't see Dudley riding in
the park any more
Vandercam-No, he has quit it,
Vanderchump-Swore off?
Vanderclam-No, he fell off and broke his
neckl- NeU York Sunday NetcS.
Mrs. PELMANoR with an idea of owning Jer-
sey)-Has she any-er-family treef
lady.
Mrs. Pelmanor-Has she pedigree?
Farmer Scarsdae (relieved NO marin, Not
an ache or an all about her.-J,tdge.
M (HIcl DEAR said Mr.. Lushly as he stood
on the steps, Twill you open the door?''
Did you hear the clock?' was the question
which came from the upper window.
'Yesh, m'dear. 1t struck 81
well, three strikes is OUT and she slammed
the shutters, while Lushly sat down on the door
steps, Washington Post.
''WHY, how is it, Downley, you have changed
your habits SO suddenly? You swore that after
marriage you would make it your business to
stay out late of nights just to show your wife
you wouldn't be tied to her apron string. But
mere you ara become a regular house rat''
well, you see it was for my friends sake
| heard that while l was out my wife's old
beaux regularly called to see me and would
wait for hours for nv return, So Thought I'D
stay home, but now that I'm here the strangest
part is none of EN- ever call at all. "-PhiLdoeL.
phid Times.
DEACON SLIcK-See that ar horse! faint
MORT a week since city Teller offered me $500
for him. Kinder wish now I'd a. took it. Too val,l-
able animal for me to keep. Say if you was
sorto loolSin' for a bargain in boss flesh might
Stranger-I don't care to purchase. am the
tax assessor. (WritesI One horse valued at
$500 -
Deacon Slick-Hold on hold on Ever since
he took the blind staggers that boss amt been
worth -
Assessor-But the city mans offer?
Deacon-Before | could close the bargain with
him the keepers came along an snaked him
back TO the insane asylum. Put the boss down
on yer list as dear at S5.-Munsey's Weekly