The intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1887-1891, 1890-08-09
PuNGENT

-He-''Is not that a FREELY over yon-
der tree?" She (wearied) mo; it's
the morning star, | should imagine."-
Harper's Bazaar.
Even misfortune is not always I'M
fortunate. A man with Il bad breath
never has to elbow his way through a
crowd.-Ram's Horn.
The young man just out OF school
a dvertises for a positions" but after SIX
months of hustling he is mighty glad to
get a "job."-Puck.
Mr.. Bipps - ''rhat medicine took
his morning makes me feel * another
man Mrs. Bipps well, hope to
goodness you are. 1t is me.'-Epoch.
lis getting caught unhealthy, Nam
map asked the little fish. Not always,
nv son. Eve known several of our
tribe who increased fifty per cent. In
weight after they had been caught
Jury.
She isn't it a nuisance? can't
see anybody on the stage. I'm so short
sighted" He-"Why don't you use the
opera-glasses?" She-"How can l? l
forgot to put on my diamond bracelet"
Jury.
MIR. Richfello-"How pretty Miss
Beauti looks tonight" Rival Belle
Eyes. How miserably poor the electric
lights have become lately. They are
DINNER than gas."-N. Y. Weekly.
How" said Mrs. Newrich, can we
make the invitations to our balls par
ticularly stylish?" IN tell you," an
swered her husband. "instead Of putting
two-cent stamps on them we'n put ten
centers, eh?"-Philadelphia Times.
1t is said to be hard sometimes to
distinguish between the effects of
dyspepsia and religion; sometimes 1t Is
equally hard to tell whether a young
man is suffering from indigestion or
from disappointment in love. -Somer-
Vile Journal.
As a curious item OF information to
those athirst for knowledge 1t may
be mentioned that man is the only
animal that eats cloves and lemon peel.
He does not like either, but in that
spirit of sacrifice peculiar to him he
does it for his wife's sake.-Philadsl-
phia Times.
-Wife-"You do not speak to me as
affectionately as you used, to George. ]
think you have ceased to love me-
Husband There, you are again
Ceased to love you! Why, | love you
better than my life. Now shut up and
let me read my paper."-Boston Conr
Ter.
Mrs. Michigan Avenue (of Chicago,
IL would like you to engrave my Goa
of arms on the seal Of this ring.
Jeweler-"Yes, madam. What does l
consist OPP Mrs. Michigan Avenue
"Ah! / leave the selection entirely II
' you; only put a lot of lions in it and
!, charming dragon or wo."-Jeweler'
Circular.
-Digniied Citizen-"No, sir. can
understand this taste for circuses. LoOl
=, at the crowds that have gathered thi
morning to see the tawdry parade.
, Bvstander-'Yes, and you know !
a isn't coming down this street. The lin
! OF march has been changed" Dignifie'
a Citizen-''You don't say, and here Nv
\ been standing an hour. 1t is an outrage
Which street is it coming down? Thanks
I'll Just get there in time. "-America.
"A good dealo OF energy Is fooled ava
in getting up statistics that never d
d anybody any good. AS, for example
think of the amount of figuring nece'
n sary to make known tho fact that Their
o zach thirty-seven persons, when 20
found 1t out long ago without putting
o pencil to paper, If you have a machin
Of your own and live In a n~eighborhoo
where grass abounds. Rams Horn,