The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-10-23
THE ARIZONA KICKER.
Lots of Things Happen in Those Western
Towns.

Lots of Things Happen in Those Western
Towns.
The last issue of The Arizona Kicker con-
; tains the following interesting items:
] NoTICE.-lf the party who threw the brick
at us last Tuesday night as we stood on the
/ corner of Apache avenue and Green street
will call at our office he will hear of some
| thing TO his advantage. We can make him
realize in about five minutes that men Of
his talent are wasting their time in this
country. He can also make his choice Of
/ 165 eligible sites in our private 'burying
. ground free Of cost. Come early and avoid
the rush.
No BOoM.-For two straight years The
Kicker has persistently opposed the idea Of
boom to attract attention to our town.
We have watched this boom business in
scores of other places, and in every instance
it has reacted disastrously. Our course
has aroused the ire of certain Spectators,
but we shall continue it Just the same
We've got 200 acres of cactus pasture which
we should like to dispose of TO some Ohio
farmer who wants to better his condition,
and who could be worked up to part with
s., ,0O0 in cash, but we haven't the cheek.
We own half a mile of side hill which
won't even grow rattlesnakes, but we
haven't the gall to boom it for peach
orchard. Amillion years hence we may
have six railroads here, but we can't force
ourselves 10 whoopla! hurrah! over the
prospect. We own about fourteen billion
dollars worth of wildcat mining stock,
every mine being ia the clouds, and but
for our honesty we'd proceed tc boom and
unload We are at the head of a company
to turn the Pacific ocean into the deserts
of the west, president of an artesian well
company, secretary Of the Great Straw
berry Growers association, etc, etc, but
we were born honest and we can't look
tender foot in the eye and lie TO him.
No, gentlemen, this town is what il is
and no more. 1t isn't going to be a sec
ond Chicago 1t has no Niagara Falls.
There isn't even good fishing within thirty
miles of Us. We simply have the great
Arizona Kicker, l4S saloons, sixteen gam
bling houses, five stores and population
OF $500 souls, most OF which vii. take
''the other road" when the judgment day
arrives. That's all, and those who don't
want to come can stay away.
II THE WRONG. Handsome Charlie"
the genial and enterprising proprietor of
The Black Swan" 4" has called at this office
aud convinced us that we were wrong in
stating that he had killed seven men and
WAS dangerous character. His list in
cludes only four men, all laid away in self
defense, and so far from being dangerous
he says that be has refused 10 put up fly
screens this summer out of general pity
for the poor flies He also has pictures Of
three different angels on the walls of bis
bedroom
We cheerfully make the correction, not
because the gentleman subscribed for five
copies Of The Kicker to be sent TO his
friends and gave us a $40 ''ad," which will
be found elsewhere, but because we wish
TO do all men justice.
FAIR WAENING.-Ben Stavs, the eating
house man, has made public threats 10
wiring our nose in tie streets. The trouble
dates back 70 year ago. when Ben tried
TO pass SO ne cactus soup on Us for mock
turtle
Ben msy attempt 70 wiring our nasal or
gan. He Tray even dgure that be can sue
ceed. We give him fair warning, however,
that he'll have 10 be prepared 70 dodge six
bullets. and II be doesn't happen 20 be
quick enough 1t won't make Us feel veTI
oad.-Detro;: Free PresS