The Irish standard., 1890-01-25
llll dOR b s DRl ! IN [ 0 i q !.


N nap sack pillow case.
a. 10 get along well Dig Il deep.
Ground rents The effects OF an
h earthquake. 5 s5; 555
when il nutmeg like . prison win
dow? w hen it is grated.
What time bv the clock is the best for
pm? A joke takes best lust when it
strikes one.
First boarding mousse tmrkey: How
L are you feeiing2" Second boarding house
turkey: !. Tough. .
IA fact to be remembered by expect
ants: In making Wills some are left ont
and others are left tin.
1t may be that love makes the world
20 round but an overdose of whiskey
will do it more successfully.
"Know thyself'' may be all right in
theory. but it would lead to a great
MANY suicides if fully followed.
WHY is game of ball like buck
wheat cake? Because its success de-
pends very largely upon the batter.
. A New York drayman owns horse
40 thin that knot is tied in his tail to
prevent his body from slipping through
the collar,
Tommy: PA may ! ask you a qnes-
tion?' Pa: certainly. my child. !"
Tommy: ''Where is the wind when it
doesn't blow?''
..please to give me something, sir, )"
said an old woman. IL had blind
child, he was nv only means of subsist-
ence, but the poor bov has recovered his
sight,
Ethel--tWhat makes that man hold
his head so high and strut about sO!,'
Nother-"Why didn't you observe him
drop copper in that blind organ
grinders tin cup?"
Sunday-school teacher, reproyingly:
"Boys, do you know what day this is?'
Street urchin: Hi, feIlers! here's
cove as don't know what day this is.
Guess he's been out all night!''
Wife. at church: THAT man In the
second pew is sitting very strangely.
Do you think he is crazy?' Husband:
II wouldn't be at all surprised, my dear:
I See his collar button has gone down
his back"
An uulucky block. f.; Don't let US
turn down this street." F. :"Why not?'
E.:"Because it's unlucky for me to pass
the next block. There are precisely
thirteen people to whom owe money
living in it,
Servant: ca newspaper man to inter
view YOU. sir" Candidate: Tell HIM
lam so hoarse can't talk" Servant:
IL TOLD shat; but he said he'd ask the
questions and you could nod" Candl-
date: Tell him have very stiff neck
and can't nod"
The following ludicrous sentence is
the result Of compositor's erroneous
punctuation: sCBsar entered upon his
head, his helmet upon his feet. armed
sandals upon his brows, a cloud in his
right hand, his faithful sword in his
eye, an angry glarel"
Chief, to an industrious clerk in gov
ern1nent office: "Why didn't you dot
the 81 in the last word of your report
last nlght?' Industrious clerk: II beg
your pardop; bnt you see the clock
struck just at that point, and didn't
care to work overtime"
II don't see your son about any,
where" said a travelling man to
merchant whom he had called on. us
he about the city?" Yes" Pursuing
h1s studies?'' II think he is pursuing
his. studies, out from what can hear I
don't thipk he has much chance OF
catching up to Them
Bobby: "SaY, mister, have you rented
your rooms yet?'' Elder sister: Hush,
Bobby, you mnstl'l be 50 familiar
Mr. Softpate: ooh, let me amuse him.
I am very fond Of little boys. What
rooms, nv little man?' Bobby: II
dunno, but Sis said the other day that |
you had rooms to let in Your upp,
story, and
AS Others See Us