St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-01-28
PHASES OF LIFE.

To the Minneapolis families who
amuse themselves aud add few shin
ing dollars to their exchequer by keep
ing boarders, life is not at all times a
bed of roses, as there are many little
unpleasant things connected with the
somewhat arduOus pursuit, that by
frequent repetition develops into a
cause for worry that is calculated
to turn the blacklist hair to gray,
and sour the sweetest of dispositions.
In connection with the trials and tribu-
lati0ns, however, there comes some
times humorous feature, that, for
moment, makes life almost worth living,
even for the most abused landlady.
The other day the door bell to one of
the Minneapolis high class boarding
houses rang out merrilY, and an over
dressed young woman entered the par
Tor, and seated herself with regal air
upon the star boarder's faVorite rocking
chair. She had piercing black eye, a
stubborn nose, that had refused to be
kept down early in its youth, and in its
maturer years had an upward tendency
toward the ceiling.
She was evidently native of Bean
town, for she handled a pair of eye
glasses in true Hub fashion, while she
awaited the Apr ach of the landlady.
AS that tried individual approached,
she eyed her auspiciously. and immedi-
ately began a course of cfosS-question-
ing that would have done credit to a
newly fiedged attorney.
''Mrs. Dobson, [ believe-oh, you
needn't answer. l have called in an
Swer to your advertisement for board
ers. hope you hair is not in the habit
Of falling out, is it?"
"No, [ think not" answered Mrs. D.
$50 glad. Do you know, have been
so troubled with such things, er, in re-
lation to the butter, you know. | hope
you have not in your house the fat
man, who sleeps late in the morning
and SHORES as as if he was practicing
the latest opera on bass drum?"
mo, | think not"
"Nor the man who fancies he is capa-
BILE of attracting any lady to him upon
whom he may cast his eyes, and who
insists upon reading poems of passion
late at night for the express purpose of
having her slumbers disturbed"
mo, certainly not"
''Nor the man with heavy boot heels,
that comes in late at night and bangs
them down directly over ones head,
and later keeps one in bllssful igno-
rance as to just what time of the night
he drops out of bed ON to the floor, and
who overturns his water pitcher, the
cootents of which drip down all night
upon ones unprotected Slumbers?"
Goodness, no."
s'Nor the woman with the handsome
husband, who fancies that every lady in
the house is bent upon some deep-laid
intrigue with the end IN view of cor
rupting his gracious morals; nor the
servant girls with bangs. | always did
hate bangs, especially red bangs: nor
the young bank clerk who comes home
from the club and invariably mistakes
your room for his own, thereby disturb
ing your rest and the bric-a-brac upon
your bureau: nor the athletic young
lady who sits in chair with an utter
disregard as to whether she is model
for the display Of the latest style of
hose, Or"
Il beg you to believe, madam" inter
rupted the landlady, mildly, ''that L
have no one but those of the highest
social standing and polite morals in my
house."
$50 charming-I think I shall like
it."
"You can give the best of references,
l presume"
"References!" she shrieked. "Good
Lord, no.. The idea. am lately ar
rived in the city,"
"Then shall have to deny you adj
mission to my household" said the
matron, sternly. And the would-be
boarder floated out through the door;
and Mary, the servant girl, was heard
to give it as her opinion that ''she was
no better than she should be-"
81
He had just alighted from the incom-
ing train that had steamed in from Cen
tral Iowa, at the Milwaukee depot, and
fastened up Tenth avenue just as an
electric car turned the corner. he saw
it just after it had turned off from Third
street, and with stride that would
have done credit to O'Leary in
his palmy days he hastened after it,
shouting as he ran, with the full
power of his wild and untamed prairie
voice. The conductor saw him finally
and stopped for him, while he chased
up the middle of the track and clam
bered upon the platform, sinking into
the seat with sigh of relief, after queS-
tioning the august chief of the convey
ance, known as conductor, as to
whether that was the Fourth avenue
line or not.
The car had proceeded some blocks
when the rural gent happened to look
out the front of the car.
"Gosh," he said in an astonished
voice, Il thought | sot on the left side
when come in, and now I'm on the
right side"
He sat quiet for few moments and
then began to grow impatient, and,
turning to a passenger. he asked:
what are they backing for?'
The passenger looked at him in as