Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1890-05-30
Some Anecdotes Political.

Nearly everybody knows Humphrey,
or " Humph" rs lis friends call him,
the noted wit, lawyer and politician, of
Albany, Oregon. 4 staunchcr Repub-
lican never wirepulled primary, nor
a more thoroughly honest and indie
pendent citizen never expressed his
opinion at the ballot box.
But the fact is that just now-like
thousands OF others-Humph is a firm
supporter Of Gov. Pennoyer and the
other day, while in Portland, was
taken to task by friend, for his
apostacy.
al am surprised" said the friend,
that you should advocate the election
OF crank like Pennoyer."
THAT'S nothing, said Humph, Ben.
Franklin, the great leader in inven-
ton, was just what We call crank,
but it was crank which rcvolutioniz-
ed the worlds {
"But, Panhover is an aristocrat, as
WE'LL" urged the friend.
so was Geo. Washington, the
Father of his country" meekly replied
Humph.
But he is stubborn as a mule"
$50 was Andrew Jackson. the hero
Of New Orleans"
"And you know he is demagogue,' y
sugges.sd tle friend with an apparent
wavering confidence in the stability 81
his position.
$50 was Abraham Lincoln, the Sa.
viOr of his country; and by heaven "
declared Humph, warming up to his
convictions, as he brought his fist
down with startling emphasis, I will
support man with these virtues if he
does call himself a Democrat, and
don't see how any true Republican
can do otherwise.
That ended the colloquy and it is
safe to assume that another vote was
added to the majority for Gov. Pen
meyer next Monday.
A colloquy occurred q few evenings
ago over a couple OF glasses of beer
which turned the laugh on d noted
politician who we shall call Col. N.
because it is not his Nance
The Colonel is very fond of sitting
at the head of the table, Gf a beer
table has any bead) and of leading
conversation as well as calling time on
those who become prolix under the
combined effects of beer and bombast.
1t is the delight of the Colonel at
times to unbend, as it were, and argue
points with those who occupy, rela-
lively, quite different station in life.
On the occasion referred to, his tilt
was with a good natured blacksmith,
who advanced some ideas that were
decidedly socialistic, and haSbrdught
the redoubtable Colonel to his metal.
"You bay you will take up arms
and equalize the ownership in money
and property, do youi Let's see. You
can make good horseshoe; l can't.
You can iron wagon; can't. You
can tell irorfrona steel; i can't. But
there are MANY things I can do you
can't. lean iill the highest office in
the State; you can't. 1 can make
laws; you can't. I can address con-
ventions; you can't. Now did it ever
strike you that in the emergency you
suggest our relative position would re-
main unchanged? You would shoulder
your musket and enter the. ranks.
You woulh count one in the struggle
to come, while I would hold a COM
mission ard command regiment. I"
The Colonel smiled as he turned to
ms AUDITORY with the apparent con-
seriousness that the fist thrust of his
rapier had laid his imaginary adver-
sary low.
But hold on, Colonel" demanded
the Son Of Vulcan, "give me the
chance now that I would take then.
It would, I admit, be a conflict of
intellect ~ we'll as of arms, and when
l found myself pitted against such q
giant - you. do you imagine for o mo-
ment that would lose any points in
the camel Do you think that 1
would allow that massive brain to con.
troll - ono man the thousands Won
speak OF, when by simply stealing
around to the tents in the rear, 1 could
pop Jon OF 1t my leisure, Oh, NO,
Colonel; when IL comes to intellec-
tual warfare between such men As you
and !. you win surely find that it is
not always the intellect schooled to
command that can truly govern"
This shot in the rear silenced the
Colonies batteries.