New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1890-04-10
state. and no Democrat will have a walkover in the
next Congressional tilt.
CHANCES HERE AND THERE.

CHANCES HERE AND THERE.
When facility has changed itself into a nuisance
and the nuisance has grown to be unbearable, then
social anaes hesia and calls il so convenient"
Standing in the cars horse elevated becomes anus
ing If You only mutter, so convenient" When the
messenger doesn't come, you can always look at
your queer little iron box that wabbcs on the wall
and encourage your patience by sOiloqulzng, $50
convenient It's so convenient when your trunk
doesn't come. but makes the tour Of New York in
six hours. needless Of the mans guarantee. lie right
W. SIT. most as soon As You are rccNlcSs vi So'I
dress suit inside and your SWEETEST engagement Of the
wheels tarry. And the money order system-that's
30 convenient too; isn't it
In England YOU may buy one in any village or on
almost any block as easily and as quickly a. paper
of pins where cash-boy i. Therefore. we nave
copied the French system which, for compleAity ana
Understanding is cross between making your
will and entering ferry house. one day two years
ago in certain town Of million inhabitants, nav
ing one sx-inch aperture for the insertion Of bu>
ness of this character gentleman Of extraordinary
patience and perseverance spent fifty minutes in
getting money order for 80 cents and an hour au'
fortytlrec minutes the nest day in getting foreign
when he the new advertisements Of the new ex
press money order. now tins Is something Hike rms
is convenient. Buy 'em anywhere, I.st like cheese
or stamps
Act H. Interior Of the Corner Drug store. whence
issues the flaming notice Of the Pan contin ntal EX
press Companys Money order system.
Hopeful Customer-Can | get money order from
yOu'
snlp-in waiting-1he gentleman who attends to that
is ont at the moment
Anxious Cu,tomer-when shall be likely to frd
him in
snipin -wang-T don't hardly think there's any
tIt.+l .prft
anyway.
Bahled Customcr-'so convenient" Then exit to try
three main offices four miles downtown In To. l.
" the man is out. In 80. .. after quite finishing
lanuid conversation about horse or horses. wants
complete biography. with anthropomorphic measure
mcnts preliminary to calling again in an hour 20 see
the other man, now at his lunch. In 80 ,. business
done with some Obyiou> suspicOns OF long years OF
poctetpichng on thc part OF the applicant us true
sun. conc ke,nlt. Joy 80 cymn.iiic"'' i''nc
so Mr. Kendall IS " the last actor Of his school, IS
hc' True enough. you may call him the last sur
vivor Of the fine old English school Of light comedians
Hut how do YOU know he is not at the beginning OF
a new school People not going TO put up with
the' cuff shooter" much longer. the dsinfcced lcnno
snowy linen In the lime li-h at the crisis (when
there is onc) OF The defeated French COMEDY
seeing the last Of her Think you we shall long be
content To PIT mp with the sweet puppets Of poses
robe, and ec,ul'l 3" I doubt IL, sud the car
pcntcr, and shed a bitter tear
From 8" Does you mother know you're out'7 to
llcGinty.7 In the soup" YOU might almost tell
mans age by the high slang marks left after the
,ubsidrnce And every ono Of them that came not
originally from Whitechapc you may trace straight
20 the rowcy. once they were esteemed as funny
a.. ftrtl
by moonlight {, hardly more melancholy. What do
,ou fhui, Of Walker" specimen Of the humoroi,
In r-cf Now. c, rs hear yon laugh ~ How Are
You.~ a- not single spies, bui whole haialion, dld m
1861 I'm have voir hat" too that had sweet
run among the sensible.
Tirldn County may make the finest butter. Winter
keeping egg. may be the best. Let Philadelphia eat
her 90 held egg every other day. and Ncw-lork her
family and her guests and the stranger who goes out
If her gate, by steamer dcyour average Of three
a Gly for every soul in The city ccnsu~. It's all one
fo Linn wn, i, not ilu- particular. hui !, content -
rnor,.ng r,nnr. and no time wasted between the
prove by keeping. unless, indeed. you are Cinnamon
and prcfcr it-wel. lofty. \ held egg means a stale
egg and stale mean slow and faulty d!strDutIon
some years ago some Americans were travelling in
the mountains OF Norway. In those queer little car
riolc- Ike pony pcrambuator-. suddenly exclaimed
the elder traveller: LooA here. we've been twelve
dav, i'm these hill. feeding eggs. and eggs. and
haven't 50 much A. heard the first cacklc. Nor yet
a Crow What mystery llc- here ? I'm going 70 fnd
ont how IT, done. How IL vas done was that every
90. Of them All had jOurcycd due north 10y the -
| (,,..iard tunnel from Icrlamo, IN sunny ltali. II
Won lad Matched one IL would have spoken Italian.
But IL never can" = that.
"le iao ,siht kangaroo The postmaster
say So The stage driver saws in effect that IL
isn't am holding the stakes and the kcg leaks So
answer quick" Thus asks Nkal. 81 ana from
Cmgwa'cr. Wyo. No. sir, for the kangaroo Is ii
mar-upial an Australian cousin Of our opoSsum'
cop,,,lv 'nossuu vhc~.a, the jac, rabbit of the
Ro,h, Mountain plain, Is hare. There i no VIA
rabbit In America huf orr forcitheir seem 10 nave
zone about Wl-namng many thinE, tiat wore lur'
~. f.1lNcr-- IN for Tho nm u 10.