River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1890-12-25
Pin AND POINT.
No, Indeed. no Pi.-Editor's wife
"Do you like pie. dcar?" Editor
Heavens, No.~-Yankee Blade.

No, Indeed. no Pi.-Editor's wife
40 you like pie. dcar?' Editor
Heavens. No."-Yankee Blade.
Teacher Ito classl-"Wh7t is We
locity?" Bright Youth = Velocity is
what a man puts hot plate down
with"
-Sunday-School Teacher. Now,
scholars. what do you understand by
movable feast?'" Pupil-''A picnic. -
America
Indignant Young Man-"Waiter,
your coatsleeve dipped into this lady's
soup" obliging waiter-"Don't mem
ton it. sir; it will wash out What
kind of fish, please?'
"A Boston clergyman, in an evident
ly hastily-written advertisement asks
for "A young man to take charge of a
span of horses of a religious turn of
mind. '-Christian Reporter.
-Rider-''I would like to sell this
horse; he's just eating his head of. !"
Walker-''Well. think that will i'm
prove him. "-Brooklyn Life.
The Absent Friend. -Jack-"Isn't
Adele an enthusiastic dancer?" Maud
'Yes, poor girl; she is getting to an
age when she must be."-Puck.
where's the proprietor?" asked a
man as be entered downtown restau-
rant "He's gone home to dinner, sir. "
replied waiter-IIarper's Bazaar.
A Good Word Belle lin poutl-
Haven't you one good word to say OF
my lover?" Bess-'Yes, indeed, Belle,
lear. he hiss very pretty name."-
Yankee Blade.
He Had-"Beg pardon, SIR, but
haven't you forgotten something's" said
the waiter to the guest who was depart
ing. ''Oh. yes. my umbrella! Thanks,
awfully.-West Shore.
Think that young doctor under
stands his business pretty wellY Il
think not. heard several of the older
physicians praising him yesterday. -
indianapolis Journal.
That Settled It-"I'm the most I'm
portant animal in the show" boasted
the sacred white elephant. Nonsense.
roared the lion. 'I'm the name attrac-
| ton myself "-Chicago Inter-0cean.
"A Suggestion. What did the editor
say about that last story of yours, Fred?'
''Said it wasn't worth the paper it was
written upon" "Why don't you try
poorer paper next time?"-Yankee
Blade.
What part do take?" said Chap
pie. You are to be the heroine
father" replied the stage manager.
.'What does he do?'' 'He dies ten years
before the curtain rises on the first act. y
New York Herald
Mamma Ito Little Nelliel-"Would
my little girl like to go out with mamma
and look at the stars?" Little Nellie
''Oh, yes; and / want you to show me
the dog-star. mamma-that is il its
muzzled, so it can't bite."-Epoch.
MIR. Ticks-"Adam was certainly
| in great luck" Miss Wickles-"How
was that?" Mr.. Ticks-"Why, when he
rot wife he had only to give up rib
and now il takes all the backbone a
has just to think of getting married y
Boston Courier.
-"Blobson," said the millionaire,
here are twenty begging letters.
Give them all a refusal" Yes, sir. y
You will note that a two-cent stamp is
inclOsed in each for an answer" Yes
sir" We'll, answer them all on pos
tails. American Stationer.
Justification. = What, my child
You danced last night with the Colonel
And he goes to balls while he yet wears
mourningl What light man he mus
be-" 20 but. mamma, really you should
have seen how beautifully sadly h'
dancedr Blatter.
Amateur Theatricals. AND whats
my part TO be?" asked Chollie. "Fv,
written the part for you and / know
you'll do it we'll. You are to be tn,
Idiot Boy who witnesses the murder
and doesn't tell until the last act" re
/ piled Scribuler.-N. Y. Sun.
Miss Flighty-"Here is an accoun
of woman of great intelligence who is
deaf, dumb and blind" Miss Giddy-
"Does it mention her address ?" Mis-
Flighty-"No; why ?" Miss Giddy-''
was thinking what a lovely chaperol
she would make America.