Mohave County miner., 1890-06-14
WIT AND HUMOR.

VIII AMI AO~2A~
La doubtful ststs-Wsndsr Y 10
Iioyss nst--Bosten HeraId.
II mars sslvstiop depended upos
woman Hall would Be tensntless--Asa-
tsnd Hess. .
A man must ret right down 70 Pc
work In order 10 get up Ia the wcrid'
Wslk<sbGrYs Record.
There Il no accounting for taste ey-
cept on the Principls that some people
btven't any.-Boston Sosf.
A mans greatness makes bis family
great; . woman's greatness makes her
family insignificsnt --Alchason GLOBE.
The man must have wonderful gas
trio resources who Raises guinea pies
snd Spite dogs.--Bsnghan'son Lsaaer.
A man IL Ike an omnibus. When
| be Il full Of drinks be thinks there 10
room Tor one mort. --Bostos ComnSer-
Never mind about '1empering the
Wind 70 the shorn lamb" what the
shorn lamb 10 after 10 some way 70 raise
the wind. --Puck.
Many . man who says. Get thee be-
lind me, Satan" does 90 with the as
sursnce thst Satan viii get herewith
both feet---Pkck.
The attitudes which some people
strike after doing what 1t Is their plain
duty TO do would make dancing
matter blush. Puck,
This ssn't dwarf He's over five
feet tall.h That's the great thing
about him. He Is the tallest dwarf In
the world. y. Sun.
Meet your wife with o smile on
your lips,H says an exchange. Better
wait until the odor Of the smile" has
abated somewhat though--7szas SIT
tngs.
Hearing the bad things others say
about him does not convince q man
that be has faults 80 much as 1t proves
10 him that others are liars--Atchfsos
Globe.
Faddles-"Did / ever tell you that
story about my uncle and the snakeg
Gwsddles--.You did, my boy. and I'd
rather believe II than hear 1t again
--Harper's Weekly.
"Did you pass the last examinations
said Senator to rather rapid son.
well, emo; / didn't just exactly
pass II. I laid down my hand as It
were."- Washington Post.
Corker (who is no connoisseerJ-
"Yes, Brown. / bottled that ciaret my
selfra Brown-'I should think. old
fellow, that you'd put some OF 1t in
eruets. "-Amerioan Grocer.
Il don't know what to do with my
son. He has failed In business and
professional life and appears to be
good for nothing" WHY don't you
buy him seat In Congressr-Lye.
Young Callow-'I say, fellow, I'm |
In q great hurry. Give ME two pounds |
Of dog biscuit!f Clarkson Formerly |
in gents furnishing goods)--"Yes, sir;
for yourself. sirPn--American Grocer.
The Justices were all present TO try
IN excise case. Gentlemen said the
attorney, Il desire to with.
draw this suit from this court feel
the bias Of full bench. Nv Y. Sun.
Somehow q man feels much worse
the day after he has lost an hour's
sleep on account OF the baby than he,
does the day after be has lost two
hours sleep at the club Atchison'
GLOBE.
Doctor-"Take cereal food for break.
last my dear sir; 1t will hclp you won.
derfully." Patient (next morning)--
"Barkeeper, gimme little old rye.
Must follow doctors ordersS-NiHise.
lpciis Journal.
Mumby--''Say, when two trains col.
ide they call 1t q telescope don't theyf'
Dumley - Yes; whyf" Mumby--I
Nothing. only I was wondering why
hey didn't call it a collideoscoPe."--
Laurence american.
And how did you like the service ct
,ur church last EVENING"" "Thersi
10 twas religious service? could
Tot have told whether it was religious
ervice or q grand opera. I'm xwfully
lear sighted, you know" = Boston
Transcript.
II Heaven had high board fence
ound 1t you'd see dozens OF pesky sin
lers trying to climb in on each others
houlders way down in the far corn,n
vbile the gatekeeper's attention wins
eld by single dead-head In front.
ishland Press
Willets-"Tell me, really. are you
nst as happy now yon are married as
GU were when you were engagedw
certainly. Her father
ays all of her expenses just the same
s he did before we were married. 81
'srre Haute Express. Ia
Mr.. Rich--"My daughter. wish you
Iould busy yourself about something, !
nd not be forever reading those silly
ovels." But my dear father. you
ught to be perfectly contented that
on hare such wealthy heiress for Z
aughter. "-Fliegende B'aucr. Ia
Two college boys were guessing each
theirs ages. TO judge by your i'm
lature and amateur jokes, you're
bout l6.n said Bill. 10 Judge by
our antique aud messy jests, You're
bout 2oo,n replied Bob, and honors
ere easy.--Pr0ridesoe telegram. l.
Mother--"I don't approve OF ycur
lrrying on with Mr.. S,sylate as You
ID in the parlor last night. You sat
% close together Alice - why.
other, there was chair between us.n
other-"fes; but there should have
zen two. A,.,rteaa