Telegram-herald., 1890-06-03
~ = y" ET--TT-
OLD SWbZEE KICKED.
A Hoosier Patriarch Comes to Chicago
and Is Robbed BT a Tavern Keeper.

and Is Robbed By a Tavern-Aeepsr.
Old Sam Swazee, from Peach Run,
Ind, came 10 Chicago one day last week
and put up at the Palmer House, writes
Ed. Il. Pritchard in the Arkansaw Trav-
clCr. The next morning after his ar
rival and after hearty breakfast, he
strolled up to the clerks desk, and TAX
ing an old leather wallet from his in
side vost pocket said:
wall, Mister Palmer, / guess III hev
10 light out this mornin', so ef you'll
tell me the damages III squar' up with
you an travel"
Certainly, sir" replied the polite
clerk, as he ran his eye over the pages
Of the register that lay open on the
counter. Let me see-what nane?"
''Swazee. from Peach Run" replied
old Sam as he flshed big silver dollar
out of his wallet and threw it down
with the air Of a man who was in a hur-
~ for his change.
''Ah, yes, Mr.. Swazee. you had supper
with drinks at tho table, room on tho
third floor and breakfast; your bin is
five dollars"
''Ohl gosh, no, Mr.. Palmer" exclaimed
old Sam, as q pallor Overspread his
countenance. There must be some
mistake. only he'd supper, bed an
breakfast, an il couldn't be that.
lowed I'd owe ye a dollar, mebbe, count
in in the drinks, but"
That's right" said tho clerk. quiet
ly; "those arc our regular charges, and
the same charged 10y all frst-class ho-
tells"
sam looked ct tho clerk fora moment,
then turning around he walked TO tho
center Of the big rotunda and emptied
his mouth of nearly pint of tobacco
juice into one Of tho huge spittoons.
Then he camo back.
Wall" he said, Il 'spose I'm stuck
fer II, CT you say it's all right; but
didn't low that fust-class tavern like
this d rob feller that way. Afore
left home Jcdge Swank told ne III save
money 10 stop at good house; an, be-
sides, I'd be safe; but it seems the jedge
don't know cz much ez he thought he
did. ef be has bin 70 Congress three
terms"
Mr.. Swazee." said tho clerk. in his
haughtiest tones. you want to be a
little careful how YOU talk. We are not
robbing You; you are paying no more
than We would charge any guest for the
same service. If YOU don't want 20 pay
this bill I'll call an officer and see"
Hold on, Mr. Palmer." exclaimed
Mr.. Swazee, don't git warm aroun' the
collar. This is your tavern, an / reckon
you hev right 20 run it as you see ft
I'll pay this bill; but ! want you tor
know that it's mighty near the price OF
good shOot that hev ter feed FER near
l. year sfore kin git that fer him"
He slowly picked up tho dollar which
4 moment before be had laid down SC
promptly, and diving again into his
wallet, brought out roll OF bank notes
from which he selected one OF tho
proper denomination and threw 1t OF
the counter. The clerk took it. handed
Mr. Swazee a roceipted bill and turned
20 other customers who stood waiting
sheir turn and who had enjoyed his lit
tie :ilt with tho old Hoosie7. AS for
that worthy. he slowly put away bis
money. and as be started for She street
ha xas heard 70 mut-er: Bust my
linch-pins, ef I ever conc ter This tovr
erEin I'll bring or b1cEcto' grub o5iong
ar mobbe IL won't cost ne small fort
uno teT stay over night in he blamed
place