The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-06-05
KNox's CENSUS PAPERS.
He Furnishes the Government q Sketch
of himself.
From the Ne,c York World.

of himself
From the Netc York World.
The government of the United States
has advised me that it would like a
short biographical sketch of myself 1 had
noidea that our paternal government would
aver take SO much interest in me, but it has.
If tells me that one of its servants will call
on me. Monday or Tuesday next, in pursuit
of the information desired.
To aid me in describing myself it furnishes
a printed list of leading questions in which
If inquiries after my health and present fin
anciaI condition, and exhibits what might
saarn TO be an impertinent Curiosity to know
INV sex and whether l am japanese or an
Indian. cripple or an Episcopalian.
AS shall be out of town next week, and
therefore not able to meet the governments
innuisitor, have written letter copy of
which you will find below and have left it
for him
COPY OF THE LETTER.
Denr United States Government: feel
catered by your evident interest in my
affairs as shown by the document now
before me marked Exhibit A 2, 07Sx-1), and
esteem it a privilege TO answer the ques-
lions therein presented. When you publish
~onr hook would like to have my biog-
raphy begin at the top of a page, and if you
care for my photograph / can send you
one in which l am represented sitting
on some wooden rocks in front of a
canvas-backed waterfall and holding in
INV hand roll OF paper that can either be
an application for a pension or a schedule
of nv assets and liabilities. Your question
No /. regarding my name and initials OF
middle name, is answered by the signature
at the end of this communication. Talking
about names, there is a wittlcism that put
together all by myself once about having
i. g u I@ 10 Ilxrx F,,n
hut suppose you don't care for jokes.
Your second question requires me to
state my sex.
If YOU will look over your files of 1880
under the letter 'Kr you will find my sex
fairly and conscientiously stated. Ten years
have elapsed since then, but | am still of
the same old sex.
Your third query required me to state my
relationship to the head of the family"
NV present relationship to head of family
is in the capacity of husband, and this rela-
tionship have held for years in the most
satisfactory and pleasant way.
In the matter of your fourth question as
to whether l am 'the widow OF soldier,
sailor. or MARINE" / beg to state that | am
at present neither, that | have never been
and do not expect ever to be placed in such
an equivocal position in connection with
any deceased soldier, sailor or marine.
Your fifth question, "If under one year
of age, give age in months Now, honor
bright, where is the joke in thats Hal ha !
OF course it must be a joke-hal hal hal
so Just give you the laugh and pass on TO
the next. Your sixth question is: Mother
of how many children and number of these
children livingp In response to this | re-
fer you to my answer to question No. 2,
but for the life Of me l cannot understand
why you ask the question. or what differ
ence it would make to you If | were the
mother of one or ten children. l
will, however, state, as you seem
inclined to press the question, that
up to the receipt of the latest re-
turns there is no evidence to show that
am or have been mother. You ask where
] was born. If hearsay evidence is admis-
sible you can quote me as saying that, TO
the best of my knowledge and belief, was
born in the first-hoor front of an unmort-
gagged slate-roofed house. l was also born
in March. You want to know whether
am defective in mind, sight, hearing or
speech. The mind, sight and hearing are
all right, although have known my hear
ing to be slightly defective when an ac-
quaintance suggested something in low
tone about temporary loan.
Now YOU come to acute or chronic
diseases" and you want to know if l am
afflicted in that way, and if so, how long.
have for some time been suffering from
acute mania. It takes a form that is dan
gerous to people who pry into other peoples
business. / have known it to be so violent
at times that it resulted in handful of birC
shot being projected into the leg of mar
who was trying to secure information re-
garding matters that didn't concern him.
OF course | am not making any reference to
illusions.
See?
The last few casual remarks have made
also apply to the paragraph in which yor
ask whether l am "a prisoner. convict
homeless child or pauper"
Your last question l find no trouble at al
in answering.
Have you house"
have.
SIS it mortgagedg'
1t is, and l don't care who knows it, Yot
are mortgaged yourself, are you not? AnC
I'll bet that / lift my mortgage before yot
are released, even if / have TO burn the ole
Queen Anne and pay the mortgage witt
the insurance money.
However, don't let us gu ariel. / wish NJ
fuss with the United States government.
You are going to publish some facts alb GU
me and my affairs, and want to be solic
with you. / tried to destroy you oncs
about twenty-five years ago, and all go
for it was lame leg and brevet military
title.
Above you will, think, find all your i'm
portant questions answered, but there are
few other matters, on which, / am sure
you would like information. am really
surprised that you didn't inquire abont
them.
For instance:
dictate this and dictate all my other
correspondence to my typewriter through
the monograph.
don't like marmaiade.
| have negro servant who attends to the
furnace.
have never written joke on the straw
Derry box or the sand in the grocer's sugar
live in Mount Vernon, N. Y.
am a church member.
L believe that it is wrong to read the
Mount Vernon Herald on Sunday.
There are no Sunday papers published il
Mount Vernon.
shall be glad to hear from you again
and be pleased to give you further informa
ton. J. Annoy KNOX.
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THE RIVER AND RARBOR