The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1890-08-26
JOKES ABOUT WOMEN.

why Gid you marry q man who is 81
years OF age?" because ! couldn't fine
one equally rich who was 0O."'
$50 you think he really loves you p
II am sure of it. He does nothing hui
quarrel with mo every time We meet"
Ethel: ppm never going into tht
surf with Jack again. He ducked mt
yesterday" Maud: "And washed Of
the paint, eh?"
1t is not until she has married q mar
that a woman begins to hear how many
other women there ars in the world who
wanted to get him.
Miss Bashful: II don't like the way
your husband calls INC dearest" Mrs
Jones: Oh, you must not mind him. He
even calls me that"
"Well, Ethel, did you have a good
time Mt the barge party?" mo, had a
horrid time. Charley ilirted with the
chaperon all the evening"
"What is it the German philosopher
says, "A handsome woman is always
righ;'?" That WIS the way he said it. 1
suppose he meant that pretty girls were
never left"
"I'm glad the mother of mankind ate
that apple" said pretty young lady the
other day MS sho stood before a mirror.
"Yon are?" ayes; because there ia
such delight in trying on a new dress
when it fits WE'LL"
Maud: "I'll never nirt again if l live
to be a hundred!" Annie: "Why,
dear, what's the matter?" Maud:
"Ma,ter? / winked at a sweet young
drug clerk down town to-day, and he
put whisky in my Soda"
She during a slight tif): "You
never can keep q secret, any way" He:
II can't. Supposed had told that | had
kissed you before We were engaged ~
She Calmly: "Well, should say you
were not the only one"
Friend: ~: suppose yon gtieye very
much over the death Of your husband?'
Mrs. Shocks: "Indeed I do. II l had
utilized before he died the tears l have
shed since he died I'd have adozen more
dresses than I've got now"
Washington's Wimoiaughais ,(wiie
mother. daughter .sister) society is being
urged from friendly sources TO adopt Z
nicer.looking name. Just as likely q.
not it will come to be known as thu
Widow Moses club under its existing
title.
City Dame Cooking for country
board): "Do you object to children p
Mrs, Hayseed: "That depirds, num-"
City Dame: Depends on the sort o
children they are, l suppose" Mrs.
Haysccd: Nom. Depinds on the sort
Of mothers they has"
Mamma, 1 know the g~cntlemau's
name that called to see Aunt Ellie las
night and nobody told me, either
well, then, what is it,, Bobby ~
"Why, George Don't. I heard her say
George, DON'T in the parlor four or five
times hand.running. That's what his
name is."
Enamored Youth: 81 beg you. sir,
for the hand Of your, daughter. I car
not live without, her" Old Grumps
"Glad to hear it. l can't live with her
Name the day, young man, and have i
soon." EDamored Youth backing off,
"Um-er-pleaae give me time L
reflect" -
Excited Female: "Say, II you hav,
filed them divorce papers for me I wan
you TO 60 around and stop 'em RICH,
away" Lawyer: "Have you mace /
up with him@ "Lord, no. 1 don't
have TO. He has Just been run over. by
a train. I want you to sust the company
for damages
Anxious Mother: "My dear, it's per
iectly abominable tho way the men hu,
you at these hops. Now, look at tina
couple coming this way, SEQ how re
specially that gentleman treats the lad,
he is dancing with. He holds her al
most at arms length" Pretty Daughter