Bismarck weekly tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1943, 1890-12-05
TACKLING THE TARIFF.
SHOOTING A SNAKE.
A Very Lively Episode in IA Telegraph
Office.

> APiSouo IA 1eIcSEhyH
Office.
NEW YORK, Nov. 24-"I've done plenty
of shooting in my time, sure enough" said
Maj. NJ, land in a good many different
styles, too. I've had some lively sport
aboard a transport in the Pacific peppering
at a crew of mutinous Lascars from the
~deckhouse-the captain and two mates and
I against fifty of the darkies. Fve ported
six Zulus with my revolver as fast as 1
could fire over a barricade of biscuit boxes,
and Eve shot II mad dog through a folding
screen, which was the only thing that l
could get between us.
Il think, however, that one of the liveli-
est bits of sport 1 ever had was pretty near
ly my first, and that wasn't in the jungle
at all. but inside of Il telegraph office!
when | first came out to India I was
sent off at once to a miserable little up
country station in the northeast of Bengal,
which Qike the Italian village that con-
sisted of a church. a tavern and a PRISON.
seemed to have nothing in it but our bar
racks and a telegraph office. The bar
rack, as usual, was in the worst and most
unwholesome place that could be found
for it; but the telegraph office wasn't much
better, for it stood right over a big swamp,
jam full of bushes and long reeds-a glori-
GUS place for mosquitoes, and for ever, too,
as I afterward found out to my cost.
swell, one morning I had to send off a
telegram the very first thing to a fellow in
Calcutta who was managing some bust
ness for me. Away l flew to the office, and
as l got near it l head a queer kind of
humping sound inside, just like some one
striking a plank with a heavy mallet.
II knew the place wasn't being repaired,
so l made sure it must be some fun of the
telegraph clerk, who was a larky young
fellow, and thought SO all the more when,
just as came up to the door of the outer
office, the noise suddenly ceased.
elf that young scamp plays any tricks
upon me rll punch his head, thought I
(the young scamp being a year older than
myself, by the by. And up l went to the
p~igeonhole which was standing wide
open-and called out very fiercely:
"'Give me out a form, and look sharp!'
1.-THE answer to my demand was a hiss
as LOUD and sharp as a steam whistle. and
out through the p%igeonhole came, within
IL few inches of my face, the head of a
laundering big boa constructors
THE backward leap that I gave to the
other side of the room would have made
The fortune of an acrobat. The mysterious
humping that l had heard was fully ex-
planned now; for, however the brute had
got in, it was plain that he couldn't get
out, and he was hammering the woodwork
with his tail to try and force his way
through. Luckily the room was too small
to give him space for the full swing of his
blows, or he'd have had the whole place
down like a house of cards in two minutes.
"But seeing that he couldn't get more
b his head and neck through the hole
l plucked up courage, and was just getting
out my revolver when a horrid thought
struck me. Where was the clerk? | knew
he always came down at daybreak, and if
the snake had caught him there he was a
dead man.
81 think the p~leasantest sound | ever
heard was the unlocking of the inner door
at that moment, for by good luck the clerk
was late for once. Then | heard him give
a loud halloo of amazement, and no won
der, for it might we'll surprise him to find
a snake ten yards long managing the Office
in his absence.
"Is that you, Lambert?' shouted I.
Stand clear, for Pm going to fire at him.
"tAll right says he. Blaze away, and
if you don't kill him I'll go for his tail
with the wood hatchet.'
$50 slapped all my six barrels into the
brute's ugly head, and one ball went right
through it and smashed the glass behind,
which they didn't forget to make me pay
for afterward. But l did the old cork
screws business for him, and his stuffed
skin adorned our messroom for Many
day after labeled "A Caution to Snakes"
DAVID kER.