Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1890-03-21
Pat" on Ohio.

Pat" on Ohio.
MR. EDIToR:-0nce upon time, as the
old story-tellers are wont to say in
opening their wonderful tales, | prom
ised you an Ohio letter. Time and
again have l resolved to fulfill that
promise, and time and again has the
good resolution been derailed and smashed
into. snithereens by contrary circum-
stances. But much might be said in exten
uation, more than you perhaps think. When
fellow has the vim to write he generally
has no subject and when he has Il subject
| ten chances To one he is dispirited or finds
his time mortgaged to such an extent that
he feels like going into chronological bank
ruptey, for you must know that college
authorities give their wards enough work
to keep them agoing all the time, and woe
betide the luckless chap who fall behind.
l am graYely suspicious that they have
heard of the old saw which says Satan al
ways finds something for idle chaps to do,
aud are now running in opposition to him.
They do this running OH schedule time
too, or more precisely speaking they make
US do it. At half past five in the morning,
when one is dreaming of Bntler County
buckwheat cakes, butter aud mud, lie is
reused out Of bed By the tones of the most
| imperative old bell you ever heard. Now,
| that is literally brazen impudenee-nothing
more nor less And what is worse, 1t
I laZn1 1afa ell
has hardly said his prayers and arranged
| his simple toilet when its dingle dangle
| ding ding dingle dangle ding ding. That
means Forward march, if you want any
| breakfast Then there's another dingle,
dingle, dinEle, about the time yOu have
strdek up an intimate acquaintance with
your breakfast This is more enphone
Gus sound at any rate, for the resident pro-
| fessor and not the factotum il doing the
ringing. 1t is the call To morning worship
after that We have respite-to carry coal
and do other manual labor, for things
must be kept tidy. At 8 o'clock that bell
begins again. This time to call to class.
And its dingle -dangle dingle .dangle din
gle dingle-dee 10 mathematics, and clang
clang to Latin, aud ding ding ding ding to
Greek, and three double claps TO Hebrew,
ana ding ding ding to mental philosophy,
aud so on, each Prof having his own
ring" and the bell making announce
'ments every forty minutes, excepting
the noontide intermissiOn, till the odor of
coffee in the boarding hall is waited to my
room and the sombre clock in the hall
points it's lank digit at p. IN. About that
time you feel tired in your head and emp
ty in your stomach. After supper you
don't feel like picking up pen and indit-
ing letter. am afraid you would per-
form sort of u miracle, make goose OF
yourself with single feather. No, nix
komm Ell aus. After supper you feel like
promenading. bantering, kicking at foot
ball, tossing base ball, OF, what is often
productive of a keener pleasure, you .ry to
make sombody believe the poorer to be
the better reason. Perchance one is in
elined To linger in the twilight meath the
dulcet strains of the college orchestra, or
hies himself far beyond the sound Of prac-
tising brass band and embryo orator.
These last two are outlandish. So far as
] can learn they are first cousins TO the |
Butler County girl who persists in thump- |
ing piano when she doesn't know how. |
! wonder if Luther had reference to this
kind of music, or better, "this kind of
make sick" when he said music maketh
the devil to fee. lf SO, i am sure / agree
with in more than his dogmatics How |
ever; we must become reconciled. These |
people, ambitious and inconsiderate are |
but following the usual order OF things in |
Mamma Natures household. If there |
were no tad poles how could there be nice, |
big, plump frogs will green coats on their |
backs and sweet songs in their throats7 |
But to get back on the main track and |
make my point, Nyou soc We have
little time for epistolary expansion -
especially it We have mother and |
sister or so to monopolize our lois
ure, our affections and our writing paper
land let me tell you right here in paren-
thesis that its sorry specimen OF Il stud
ent who hasn't pretty, entertaining sis
Ter who can send letter in square en-
velope, so contagiously good -humored that
ii makes him smile from the corners of his |
mouth to the lobes of his ears) However,
things have changed recently; we flushed
Il branch of study and have more time at
my disposal, and intend to 60 halvers on
that with the readers Of the CTTIzEs-if
they agree. You know it takes two to
make bargain. Who will profit most by |
this one remains to be seen
Now, in the frat place, want 10 give
you glimpse of the country, which as in
all cases. God made and man spoiled.
Then, maybe in couple weeks We shall
take up the different institutions Of beney-
olence and learning or the manifold phase
% OF life in Columbus, the superb capitol
Of State prolific in politicians, presidential
candidates and lunatics. During the month
just flown l have been out at the behest of
duty III almost every direction within ra-
dius Of 80 miles Of the state house As a
rule found the farmer in his Sunday suit
and mood-Just az your full Hedged preach
or hnds his people in pew and parlor. Bnt
during the Christmas vacation | spent two
whole weeks with an Ohio farmer, saw
them in their working clothes and secured
u county-it was Porry--to my hearts
content. 1t is oyer that ground that l
wish 10 take tho reader. Over it mound
builder, Indian aud pale face have trodden
in turn 1t 10 wonderful country in many
respects, and hope its modern improve
ments aud its ancient fortifcations, earth
works aud mounds will prove az interest.
ing to.you as they did To me.
So far this time. We will stop hero and
let you get ready to accompany us to
Glenford, Ohio, over the country roads
Till then, patient reader an ahectionate
farewell. | remain yours truly.
Head heart and shoe-strings.
PAT.
From my Den, Capital Upiver-
uitu fnlunhua n Eehru-