The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1890-07-05
Welded HAPPINESS.
How It Largely Depends Upon Perfect
Cnnfldenca and Ernnlncss

How It Largely Depends Upon Perfect
Confidence and Frankness.
The only possible secrets between two
married people should be those which
are confided to either one of them by
others. While some people, who call
themselves worldly wise, will laugh at
the idea of such perfect confidence as
this implies, others still, especially the
newly married, who have had small
worldly experience, will be shocked that
should suggest the keeping of any kind
of secret by either wife or husband
from the other. ] am not prepared to
say that these last are not the wiser OF
the two. Only, in that case, when any
confidence is proffered to either husband
Or wife, the recipient of it should make
his or her position clearly understood.
No personal secret can fitly belong to
one of the two people OF whom love and
law have made one flesh. The very
ideal OF marriage had been realized by
that old Judge who had knelt for so
many years to say last prayer at night
beside his wife, that when at last she
had left him his lips were dumb, and
without her he could not even open his
heart to God.
One frequent cause of trouble in mar
ried life is want of openness in busi-
ness matters. A husband marries a
pretty, thoughtless girl, who has been
used to taking no more thought as to
how she should be clothed than the
lilies of the field. He begins by not
liking to refuse any of her requests. He
will not hint, 50 long as he can help it,
at care in trifling expenses-he does not
like to associate himself in her mind
with disappointments and self-denials.
And she, who would have been willing
enough, in the sweet eagerness to please
of her girlish love, to give up any whims
or fancies of her own whatever, falls
into habits of careless extravaganza,
and feels herself injured when, at last,
a remonstrance comes. How much
wiser would have been perfect openness
in the beginning.
There are thousands of little courte-
si5s, also, that should not be lost sight
OF in the cruel candor of marriage. The
secret of a great social success is to
wound no ones self-love. The same
secret will go far toward making mar
riage happy. Many woman who would
consider it an objectionable rudeness
not to listen with an air of interest
to what mere acquaintance is
saying, will have TO least scruple
in showing her husband that his
talk wearies her. OF course, the best
thing is when talk does not weary
when two people are so unified in taste
that whatever interests the one is of
int tA hn n+h hut
not always be the case, even in happy
marriage; and is it not better worth
while to take the small trouble of pay
ing courteous attention to the one who
depends on you for his daily happiness
than even to bestow this courtesy on the
acquaintances whom it is transient
pleasure to please.
Ideality is good house-mate. That
love lasts longer, as well as reaches
higher, which idealizes its obiect-yet
there is one dangerous direction which
ideality may take. If it deceives us in
TO the belief that we are wedding per-
fection, then the revelation of human
infirmities, which is an inevitable con-
sequence of all marriage, comes upon
us with shock which is sometimes
perilous to contentment. The best anti
dote for this rude shock would be a little
wholesome self-examination. The vain
est of us can scarcely cherish a secret
belief in our own perfection. We re-
alize in ourselves, when we look within, |
the very faults of which we are most in
tolerant in others. Above all things, |
let those who would find in earthly mar
riage heavenly delight and lifelong
sweetness, learn that to love-which in
cludes all good things-includes forgive
ness of sins and gentleness of judgment
domestic Monthly