Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1890-08-27
oUlDE-Book VACATION.

oulDE-Book VACATION.
How Young Ysrdstlcl Made the Most IT
Poor Thins.
There is nothing in this world thst is
q livelier factor in ones happiness
than being able to make the most of
poor thing. And It is tho happy tenn
permanent Of the imaginative clerk who
can not get away for vacation In the
mountains or on the shore that enables
him to be as serene In his third STORY
back hall bedroom.
Here he can be in all the resorts in
the country in his imagination without
leaving the house. We are all we'll
aware that tie anticipation Of the cir
Gus intoxicates the soul Of the small
boy much more than the circus itself,
and anticipation and imagination are
about the same thing. Therefore, the
clerk In his imagination enjoys some
thing that can not be clouded by dis
appointment, when he fancies the joys.
OF place that he can not visit
He has guide books and photographs
without number, and with these he may
we'll murmur, his soul bubbling over
with dreamy joy:
"Here am climbing Mt. Whiteface,
while sitting on soft bed in my slip
pors. l can look up to its grand old
bald head on which there are no flies,
In any sense, and from the top of it en-
joy Tahawus and the Druids to my
hearts content without feeling that on
returning I have got to hold on to sap.
lings and lower myself to it's base like
one descending from burning build
ing on rope. If this mountain climb
ing gives me huge appetite, have
not got to travel two hours to reach
Grizzly Lodge to get meal about three
sizes too small for dwarf. AS it costs
nine dollars per week here and $3.50 at
the Grizzly Lodge, can not consistent
ly feel that I am at all unfortunate in
not being able to get away.
cat Grizzly Lodge, if you complain
of the smallness of the portions, you
are told that they are in reality large,
but appear diminutive to your vision
only because your vision is acted upon
by your gnawing mountain appetite.
Therefore, in this house may enjoy
Grizzly Lodge at its best-which is the
guide book description, and still be
within half block of a frst-class res
taurant
ut costs fifteen dollars to travel from
Grizzly Lodge to Campobello, but in my
hall bedroom l can make the journey
in second by turning page. Here
am in Campobello in first-class hotel
in the guide book-and, looking at the
picture, see the wavelets curling like
weary tiger lilies beneath the silvery
moon. All, the grand old ocean, this is
the way like to lay hold of its frothy
oh, ouch, ah-!-!!-!u Inever
thought could split head-board with
my knuckles before. How delightful,
how picturesque is the grand old sound
ing main, when enjoyed in this way,
where its freezing air can't chill you
through, and the land breeze can not
thrust you into a swarm of hungry mos
quitoes.
Il tell you, Horatio. there is moth ing
so pleasant as guide book vacation.
because there is no disappointment:
you don't have to tip the wais-
ers, you don't have to sleep in
room so narrow that you can
not turn over in bed without falling
over your trunk, you don't have to at
tend to your correspondence By sitting
on the bed, having your feet against an
elastic wall, and writing on your knee,
and you don't have to sleep on bed
that's so uneven that you awake round
shouldered and bow-legged.
am the old optimist that believes
firmly in the guide-book vacation. forit
stretches through all the year, enables
you to paddle among the lilies in De-
cember, to catch fish out of season. and
shoot in great quantities animals that
are really extinct Pray, excuse me,
gentle reader, for I am an impe-
cunious dry-goods clerk, and trem-
BILE until the very scissors jim
gle in my vest pocket, when
think of tomorrow, and the rural mob
that swarm the place on every bargain
day, and l want to lose myself in the
bowling wilderness of the North Woods,
anu AOdU OA AAGO AOSy NASASAS w WIG
murmurous melody of the sparkling
silvery Ultowana-
Where the steak is sweet and tender
As the lilly on the stream,
Where the lovely maldens render
Life a rosy posy dream.
Where by Towser's bark Peruvian
We at night are not unnerved,
Where no hen that's antediluvian
On the tables ever served
Where the atmospheres delicious
And the views AS fine as silk,
And the cocktails a. nutritious
As the cream upon the milk.
R. K. Mumkittrich, in Once Week
Enterpristng.
II tell you Hooks, of Radical City, is
an ornament to the profession" re-
marked the president of the Real Estate
Agents Association, at recent meet
ing.
II heard they had him in Jail there"
said member.
$50 they did; but they couldn't keep
4 ~,