Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1890-11-20
MR.. AND MRS. BoWSER.
The Latest Episode In the Domestic Life
of That Peculiar Couple.


me. followed him. | found him over
hauling the clothes-basket.
Mrs. Bowser.' he began by way of
explanation, lido you Know that we
have had close Gala dozen close
calls-from being burned alive in our
beds?"
LANDS, no! What do you mean?''
Il mean that there hasn't been an
hour in the twenty-four since We
moved into this house that it was not
liable to take fire. In other words, we
have been slumbering on the edge OF 3
volcano"
why. Mr.. Bowsern
Nothing but the hand of Provi.
dence has prevented great disaster. "
he continued as he dumped the last OF
the clothes out OF the hamper.
But what has that hamper to dc
with it?"
Everything. Mrs. Bowser, did you
ever hear of spontaneous combustiou?'
"Of course"
well, there hasn't been day thai
all the elements necessary to sponta
neous combustion haven't been present
places in this house. | shudder over
our narrow escape"
"You-you haven't gone and got an
other fire escape, have you?n
There you go! Always ready tc
throw up something! suppose you'll
call this notion of mine?"
"What has spontaneous combustion
got to do with our clothes hamper?"
Everything. Here are the ele-
ments right here to start fire. Here
are cotton, wool and silk crowded to-.
gether in temperature of at least 80
degrees. Nothing could be more
favorable"
IL don't believe it!'
What! What! shouted Mr.. Bow
ser. holding up FELLOWSHIP in one
hand and one of baby's stockings in
the other. you don't believe in spon.
taneous combuston"
Under certain conditions. yes, but
those onditions can not be found
here. Some one has been working on
your Imagination.
"Oh! They have! On my magma
toni he softly whispered. when
every scientist and scientific publica-
ton believes in spontaneous combus-
tion-when it is practically demon
strated every day in the year-when it
is fact as we'll known rs that "A horse
has teeth, you stand there aud tell me
that | have been played on! Mrs.
Bowser, will YOU have the kindness to
20 down stairs?'
went down. and he took every arti-
Gle from the hamper and spread them
through every clothes closet and
bureau drawer, and it was fully two
hours before he came down and heaved
great sigh of relief, aud said:
There! We shall not be burned
alive-not tonight!
There was no dangcy." replied.
There wasn't, Ell! Mrs. Bowser, |
-I-m
His emotion overcame him, and l
got opportunity to say:
why don't other peoples houses
burn up through spontaneous combas-
tionP'
No answer.
II haven't seen anything in the
papers about a clothes hamper .explo-
sion"
Mr.. Bowser gritted his teeth.
IF it has got to that pass that the
sheets off the spare bed can't come in
contact with the baby's stockings with
out striking fire, we'd better ill the
cellar with TIN boxes"
Mr.. Bowser kicked at the cat. but
mi h,- al,
But there'll be fire, of course.
You have overlooked an old vest some
where, and it will get down off it's
nook aud walk over to one of your old
shoes and arrange for bonfire. |
ihan't sleep wink tonight"
Mr.. Bowser circlcd around the room
'hree times with great dignity, and
out of the way | went out and had a
talk with the cook. The result was
that we brought an iron kettle into
the front hall, cot out some cotton
batting, and rs | went upstairs she
whispered to ne:
Il understand, ma'am. In exactly
half an hour I'm to touch it off. "
Mr. Bowser was in bed. and though
| spoke about the cool wave, baby's
cold and other things. he had nothing
to say. | wasn't hurt, however |
got into bed aud waited. 1t wasn't
over ten minutes until the otor of
burning cotton was plain enough in
the room, and sat up and gave Mr..
Bowser a dig and asked:
Don't You smell smoker"
Smoke" he shouted after sniff or
two, II smell hre!"
Perhaps the cook lighted the gas
with paper"
Perhaps the COMPOUNDED house is
aiire! Che jumps out of bed) of course
it is! Che goes to the door,. She's all
sblaze down stairSl Fire! Fire!
The babym | shouted as he danced
around, butt he was gone, carrying his
pantaloons and one shoe under his
arm. He ran down the hall, shouting
"tire!" at the top of his voice. came
back and grabbed his necktie and
shouted again, aud the next heard of
him he was in the front of the house
yelling like an Indian. Half dozen
men were going by, on their way home
from some sort Of convention. and they