The Republican., 1890-04-05
The ARIZOEA KICKER.
A Few Specimen Bricks of Western Edi-
torial EuterDrISe

"a STRAw.--We have just closed a
bargain with Henry Shane, the we'll
known contractor and builder, for one
story addition to the rear end of cur
| office, to be 11X14 in size. This room
will be used as gunsmith shop under
our own personal management. This
will give US, under one and the same
roof, great weekly paper, job and
book office. grocery, feed store, a
hardware store, butcher shop, boot
and shoe store, = signal station and
| gun shop. Three years ago, upon our
| arrival in this town, we slept under
wagon for the first three nights, and the
| first money we had was borrowed dol
| lar.
''Is it any wonder that our moon
eyed, lantern-jawed, mule-eared con-
| temporary down the street gnaws file
all dav and has the collie all night?"
"ALwAYs AHEAD. - Next Monday
morning an artist and engraver from
Chicago will arrive in town to accept of
position rendered by the Kicker. We
are the first to introduce real artist
into Arizona, as we are the first to lead
the way in all other good things. Here
after all matters of local Importance,
but more especially street rows attended
with loss of life, will be illustrated in
the highest style of the art, thereby fn--
creasing the value of the Kicker to
subscribers by at least 100 per cent,
while the price of subscription will re-
main at the old figures"
tTaE CALLED JADE.-It has so hap
pened, every time we have been OBJ
liged to kill man in this town in self
| defense, that the coroner and every
| body else was in great hurry, and that
the body was buried in the most con-
venient place. Last week we were
struck with the idea of getting them all
together in one common spot, and we
bought an acre of sand lot of Colonel
Hawkins for a groundwork. Our green
eyed contemporary got a hint of what
was up, and he went blowing around
town and did his best to head us off; he
failed, however, and during the thaw we
had the five bodies taken up, removed
to what is already known as The
Kicker corral and each grave desig-
mated with a white headboard with the
name painted neatly thereon. In the
spring, we shall see that each grave is
covered with trailing arbutus-that is,
if arbutus will trail in this country. The
names as they appear on the headboards,
are: Nose, Pete, Jim, Sam and jack
We shall probably add a couple more to
the list before the ides of May, what
aver that is
"THEY DON'T ENTHUsE.-Every now
and then some one who is dissatisfied
with the course of the Kicker bobs up
with proposition to run us out of the
county by establishing new weekly, in
opposition. He goes blowing around,
gets out prospectus on broken
backed typewriter, puts his own name
iown for $5, and that's the last of it.
We've seen twenty such cases in the last
three years, and they no longer make
our hair stand on end and chills canter
Up and down our spinal column,
1.-TWO weeks ago we felt it our duty to
caution the mayor of this town that he
was riding high horse, and that he
must come down to mule or we'd take
measures to make him. He carried an
DID shotgun around for two or three
lays, telling everybody he had camped
IN our trail, but it finally got too
leavy for him and he sold it for $3
Ind got out the usual prospectus. We
lear that he has thus far succeeded in
'aising 81 and dog towards establish
.ng great newspaper here. By way Of
encouragement we'll add second dog,
| ,,,1 ha ,1.ih 30
project for all it's worth"
"NoTICE.-Parties addressing letters
to the Kicker will please add: United
States of America, Western Hemisphere, ,
70 the usual directions. The postmaster
IN this town is never certain what coun-
iry Arizona is located in, and this will
greatly facilitate his labors of distribu-
ton. The only qualification he has got
for the Office is his ignorance of orthog-
raphy and chirogaphy, and his theory as
to why jackass rabbits were created bob
tailed"
'NoT GUILTY.-As predicted in our
last issue, Colonel McClugg was not held
for the shooting of Dan Tompkins. AS
we were an eye witness to the whole
affair, we felt it our duty to go before
the coroner's jury with our testimony.
Our blink-eyed contemporary down the
street says we did this hoping to in
crease the circulation of the Kicker, and
he is partly correct. We never let slip
an opportunity to increase our subscrip-
tion list, and are happy to announce that
three members of the coroner's jury
subscribed and paid for year in ad-
vance, while the undertaken who furn-
ished the box has given us q six inch ad
to run c. 0. d. t. I.
"The Colonel was taking drink at
the bar of the Gray Wolf Saloon when
Tompkins hit him on the chin with an
onion. 1t was brutal and uncalled-for
thing, and Tompkins pulled his gun to
back it up. The Colonel jumped be-
hind barrel, pulled his gun and both
fired together. While he only lost a
lock. of hair, Tompkins got it plumb
center and fell dead. This shotld be a
solemn warning to all his class not to
monkey with a gentleman when putting
away an afternoon sustainer. Detroit
Free Press.