The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-11-28
Why I GO ABROAD.
I Tried to Lecture. bat Fate and Ny Wife
We're Against Me

We're Against Me
! shall both pray and sleei the better
tonight if prick my thoughts with the
point of my pencil
In the first place, / was old enough to
know better. But, alas, for the great
blank wall of the mystery of things.
As | write find it impossible to de-
eide which emotion takes precedence
pity for myself or rage at her. By Her"
l mean my wife | have one. 1t will
be "she" and "her" between us now and
forevermore, until | can learn the lesson
of forgiveness. If / am slightly inco-
herent pardon it in man who has had
his very soul sandpapered.
Friend, were YOU ever invited to de-
liver lecture: Did You prepare it in
an uplifted state amounting to inspira-
ton. Did you round its periods with
laughter and with tears? If so you will
understand.
am quiet man. l live in quiet
town. Hitherto | have been highly re-
spected. My wife is considered nice
little woman. and have shared in this
popular Opinion-until now. She is not
nice and. Furthermore, she does not be-
long to the aristocracy of brains.
was invited a week since to lecture
tonight on "Materialism. / had never
been invited TO lecture before. | had
my ideas on lectures and lecturers. /
always nave had them. As rule had
concluded that they lack elaboration.
Their flow of words is not regulated
properly to produce the desired effect.
Their gesticulations are too violent and
generally Ill suited to the ideas intended
to be illustrated by them.
unused on all these things. / wrote
my essay; memorized IT.
As man himself weaves the web which
hides from him the stars. so I myself
planned my own undoing.
The night came. The audience came.
l placed Her Ms. in hand, upon a
three legged stool in the wings-as my
prompteT. Ny instructions were TO
closely follow Inc in all my remarks, and
at any appreciable pause to prompt me
in several whispered words. How could
! dream in what manner those lnstruc-
tions should De abused: | then walked
forth upon the stage Of our town opera
house. Thus unsuspectingly walk men
ever IN their doom.
Alas, Nv lecture intended for a solo
deliberate quickly merged into duet
a duet allegretto-gtacotto.
After coughing deliberately l looked
my audience firmly in the eye and told
this lie:
Owing 70 short notice as regards nv
suEject have only been enabled 70 ar
range a few main points-pegs-on
which TO hang the drspery Of few ram
bling ideas
AS this little overture was not in the
Ms. | had the pleasure Of hearing three
times from the wigs during lts recital
the whispered words 'materialIsm is
which were hasten - state. the two
first words Of nv lecture proper.
Immensely aD21sed and thinking what
good laugh we should enjoy over II
later. I fastened 70 begin.
"Ma;erishsm Is = good sauce. but a
poor meat
had far-er-i mv~ali that nv opening
~-utence was impressive and wished T.
accencuste 1t bv thrilling pause. but
Was not q. owed tas- palse.
From the wing, issued quickly the
lr>t words o. n1v Tx; >-gteuc@.
Above the
Above he Lgl.< of orr civ eJaru-
-t"d hastily. win a whitening glance
- ,he wings lies the
DARKNESS trorn tas wln-- -
.a'--kL-=, REPEATED !. STAN ping No
emily 20 eaten her re ard attempting
p ,=r4oL- man suJtne- pzCse IL was
-.- 70 b. warning voice distinctly
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