The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1890-05-05
The Late, Last and Left Man.

Whoever doubts the prevalence of uni
versal law, says the Detroit Free Press, has
but to watch the departing trains from |
railroad depot. There is always late man, |
a last man, and a left man. They are
readily distinguishable. However much
they may differ in physical attributes, the
instant they enter the magic region of
train they are metamorphosed into their
standard types.
The late man heels and toes it along the
station platform under high pressure indig-
nation. It registers itself in the shake of
his head, the nervous change of his grip
sack from one hand to the other, his defiant
stare at his watch, his challenging look at
the conductor, his go-ahead-if-you dare
glance at the steaming locomotive, and the
volume of assertions written upon his face
that everything else in the world is wrong,
excepting himself. He places his foot upon
that train as if to hold it fast until the last
allowable second.
The last man has lost all starching conf
dence; he has abandoned hope, reason, in
dignation. AS he whirls through the gate,
like q gale around corner, he has but one
purpose in life-to catch the tip end of the
rearmost portion OF the train, II he has to
chase it through all eternity. Going at his
maximum speed he takes no thought OF
life, its surroundings, its troubles. its cares.
. His coat-tails and grip sack might belong to
another universe, in SO far as severance OF
knowledge of them for himself IS con
cerned. Beyond the vision of smoke puffs
and moving mass ahead of him, his wild
stare takes no coeSizance. He is wound
up automaton with a grip sack and pur-
pose. The concentration of his thoughts
: upon the moving engine would hypnotlze 1t
o cranes his neck forward; he projects his
|. body as if to hook on to something with his
nose: he throws his free hand ahead to Its
:. uttermost exte nsion; he condenses every
muscular power into leg motion; he
i spurts. There is a frantic grab at the rear
haudrail of the train: a jerk, a swing, and
!. he rides block or SO with the ratchet
/ edges of the four steps holding him by the
back, his feet treading space in search OF a
foothold and his grip sack anchored te
some friendly post on the last vertebra OF
the flying train.
j. The last man is a concentrated desire
but the left man is an attenuated void. The
L hydrant sign of plumbers shop is ar
intellectual wonder and phenomenal &C
;. robat compared to him. AS the train gate
esque halt. The speed of his arrival ant
0. the suddenness of his stop shoots aston
a. ishment to his face, to leave it there, ixee
, as mask upon wooden god. For ar
V instant his skull is a vacuity to which q
In seed squash is a plethoric pudding. Their
e. his allotment of original sin swells to tn
it. occasion With unimpeded fervor. H
chances stealthily about to see who is look
ing at him. Conscious of a full dose Q
inward depravity, he smiles with tn
:, benignity Of one who, having forgiven a
H. and everybody, is ready to become
a cherub. He quickly slips his gripsac
lis behind him, and, with face set to cate
- sympathy, remarks to the neares
> stranger that he is much disappointe
that the friend whom he came to meet di
I'm not arrive on that train. Seeking tt
ar nearest corner, for the seclusion prop
oh to good swear, he loosens his safety
ill valve and blows off until all about him
~ blue.
VA Watch him! In few moments he is q
IN innocent interrogation mark before Il
70 bureau of information.
no