davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington critic., 1890-01-31
1N AMERLCAN W0Rn


1t is said that pair of pants, exhibited
at the Tailors' Convention in Chicago, had
only one seam itica Herdtd.
Why should the tailors put questions to
man whose pants are so short as DR..
Hanjson's. Loujsrde Courier-.jommd
Hear, O. Utica, and give ear, o, Louis
vile. What be, are, or is ''pantsr' Ex-
plain the cryptogrsm. Unveil the Isis.
Speak up.-Ncw York sun.
The word pants is a contraction
of "pantaloons. Busy people hadn't
time to say "pantaloons" or trousers, .
so they said pants" And they are
going to keep on saying it. The word
necessarily is plural, unless applied to
the garment worn by man with one
leg.
Pants may not be an English
word but il is an American word, and
it means exactly what it says, Dudes
in this country wear trousers" but
men wear pants.
This thing of objecting to word
merely because it does not happen to
be in the dictionary is unworthy an
enterprising paper like the New York
.Sun. A vocabulary is not immutable
The only correct standard is that
of an approximate universal pop
ularity. Dictionaries don't make
words. The people make words
and the dictionaries record them. Peo-
pie spoke and wrote before there were
any dictionaries-and the dictionary of
last year is not the dictionary of this.
The man who makes two blades of
grass TO grow where one has grown be
fore is public benefactor and the IN IN
who creates new word to express a
new shade of meaning or Il better word
to take the place of an old one is an in
tellectual godsend. The only test of
correctness is the test of popularity If
the people desire to say 'pants, the
dictionary and the New York sun must
sooner or later print pants" Might
rules as inevitably in intellectual ways
as ii does with Tom Reed
The Washington critic., 1890-01-31
QUEER STORIES.

Tnouenr HE WAS GoINe TO SLEEP.
Congressman Il is very absent
minded man by nature, and the influence
Of years has increased the propensity. IL
is told on last Sabbath morning at $50 Mrs
Il said to him pleasantly: "Come,
now, William, 1t is growing late-you must
go in and change your clothes and get
ready for church. And hurry, William,
for you know how slow You are"
Congressman II -- pussed into his bed
room.
Mrs. - waited-and waited-and
waited. At 1928 she tapped at his door.
"Come ill.," said the Congressman.
Mrs. -- entered. She sawthe dis
tinguished gentleman in bed with the
clothes drawn up to his chin, gazing at the
ceiling with the expression of a man
wondering how two and two can possibly
make four.
"Well, Williaml'' she exclaimed. ~ do
declare! If this doesn't beat all We can
never get to church now in time."
"'To ch1rchS' repeated the great states
man-'to churchg' | beg your pardon.
thought | was going TO sleep"
The Washington critic., 1890-01-31
Bent on His Purpose.

Patrick Rowan, the old Irishman
who tried to gain admittancc to the
President on day before yesterday and
was arrested by Sergeant Johnson on
the charge of disorderly conduct and
who was sent to his home in New York
by Sanitary Officer Frank, came back
TO the city on an early train this morn
ing and went to the White House and de-
manded an audience with the President
lie was again arrested and carried to the
Police Court, where his insanity was
certified to, and a jury will set in his
rnSp
The Washington critic., 1890-01-31

WHEN The Critic says that Speaker
Reeds rnling against filibustering was
right, il does not take contract 10
prove the righteousness of the Speakers 8
purpose. That will have to be de-
veloped by the Speaker and his parti
sans in the future. For the present It
is enough to say that flibustering has
legitimate purpose in legislation and
ought TO be ruled out.
The Washington critic., 1890-01-31
A pisgraeefnl ARRAY.

Martin 4. FlannerY, the sculptor of
the Lincoln statue. which stands in
front of the City Hall, and james +.
Clemmcns, the Commonwealth attor-
ney for Alexandria County, engaged in
an alTray near the State department
this morning. Flannery struck Clcm
mems in the eye, discoloring it. The
trouble originated in the refusal Of
Flannery TO pay twenty-five men en-
ployed by him on public works in
Virginia. Clemmens represented these
men and demanded that they be paid.
The case will be tried in the Police
Court next Wednesday.
The Washington critic., 1890-01-31

with The fame Of his rour IN hand At
home he takes rank with Quay and
Dudley and others, as q preservor Of
the Constitution, fcr none has given
with more lavish hand TO the needs Of
war.
While some choose to sneer at him as
Star sp0ngled Scotchman, TUE
CRIric bound to always speak warmly
of the distinction Of Mr. Carnegie.
The Washington critic., 1890-01-31
YHg LOUISIANA LoTYERr.

"You have made a mistake In rejecting
the advertisement of the Louisiana Lottery
and in assailing that enterprise. There are
more people in Washington who buy IFS
tickets than in any other city, and in al
most every drawing some Washington in
vcstor draws prize
II the person who wrote the anony-
nous communication containing this
quoted paragraph had run his finger
down all three columns of every page
of Webster's Unabridged Dictionary he
would not have touched upon words
with which 10 argue more potently the
rectitude of TIE CRIwc's position in
this matter.
1t can never be determined whether
mistake has been made until after IL is
determined whether the right thing has
been done If THE CRIrIC did the right
thing in this case it certainly made no
mistake. 1t remains to nc seen whether
did the right thing when it refused To
inherit the emoluments and assume the
moral responsibilities of the Louisiana
isNtAti. NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. hib 10 ihI
only possible question.
There are more people in Washing
ton who buy its tickets than in any
other city" Perhaps that is true. TIE
CRrrIC is not SO far in the confidence of
the distinguished gentlemen who whrl
the wheel of fortune in New Orleans as
to- know that it is true, but we will as
sumo that this anonymous correspond
ent is, and that he knows what he is
talking about. Washington, then. is
the very ground upon which to decide
whether this lottery is a proper business
enterprise or mere gambling device
whether 1t is an honorable undertaking
or a pernicious scheme for the enriching
of a few men at the expense of many
losers; whether, in short, it is Il good
thing or bad thing. and it is to the
reaching of this decision that TIE
Carrie purposes to devote some effort
and some ink.
If the lottery is an honorable enter
prise why do its agents in Washington
conceal themselves from public viewy
Why does the purchaser of ticket have
10 20 to friend who has friend who
Knows n man who can ret tickets for him?
And why. If it is Legitimate transac-
tioB, do the Investors sneak into it
and tread on iptoe lest the fact become
public that they are investors? These
are pertinent questions, and there is but
one answer to them. The lottery agents
and their victims all know that they
are gambling as certainly and much in
the same manner as If they were play
ing at faro or keno or poker in pro
fessional gambling den.
THE CRITIC may lose money--it has
already lost money-by rejecting the
advertisement of this lottery, but it has
made no mistake in doing So Nor
would il make any mistake if. in striv-
ing 10 uphold the right side of this or
any other publicly important question,
il should be tlattened against the W Ill
etutler financial failure.
The Washington critic., 1890-01-31
A Dhs4zNG GULsHED ITsIToR.


Washington is at present entertaining
distinguished Democrat who deserves
well of his countrymen. Like his
equals, like many great men of his
times, like others who have grown rich.
and therefore powerful, as the result of
Industry and shrewdness, he is misun-
derstood, undelrated, maligncd.
Beginning life unfavored, he has been
the architect of his own might and
grandeur. Thrust aside in his boyhood
from the well of knowledge, he has, by
sheer force of intellect, acquired all
knowledge worth knowing. Denied
the satisfaction of wealth in his youth,
he has in his maturer years made the ac-
emulation of it the simplest of achieve.
meDts. Ground down in his earlier
struggles, he has risen above every in
fluence that would have oppressed him,
till now he is free to extend the hand OF
help and humanity to all. Limited for
years in his vision Of the world he burst
at last through primitive restraints as no
man ever did before, and swept over the
world, another PhWniX. setting it aiire.
The purest product of the American
Constitution, the highest type of our
democratic perfcctions, be has dined
with princes and conyersed with kings.
TO him the Triumph of Democracy has
been no mere jingling phrase. II has
cnthused his manners and inspired his
pen. Franklin might have enyied him
the splendor Of renown his philanthropy
has earned at home, the recognition
shown his philosophic virtues in foreign
lands. Great Britain has resounded
The Washington critic., 1890-01-31
A Prominent Jewerer Arre.tsd

LAWRENCE, MASS, Jan. 3l.-William L.
Baldwin, well-known jeweler, was ar
rested last evening, charged With receiving
stolen property. Joseph O'Brien and Aiya
bradford, now under arrest, have confessed
TO several larcenies here. They said they
had sold the stolen articles to Baldwin.
When his place was visited by the officers
he denied having the property or buying It,
but IL was found on his premises.
The Washington critic., 1890-01-31
Washington, January 80.
urnE CRLrLcn LNnnNSED.

Editor critic: | am instructed by the
executive board of the "Woman's Chris
tian Temperance Union" of this District
TO say that they indorse and commend your
action 10 refusing to publish the advertise
ment Of the Louisiana State Lottery inyour
paper. MISS T.. G, kEssLER.
Washington, January 81.
The Washington critic., 1890-01-31

PEORIA, LII, Jan. 3l.-After thirty-six
hours deliberation the jury in the case OF
John j. Farris, who murdered Stephen
McGeehe, who had married Farris' divorced
Wife, last evening brought in verdict Civ
renitentiary. This has been the third trial
of the case
The Washington critic., 1890-01-31

CHICAGO, Jan. 3i.~-John P. Kunze, one
Of the men convicted of the murder of DR..
Cronin, with his attorney, appeared in
Judge Clifford's court this morning and
formally demanded that Kunze be given
his new trial during this term of court.
The Washington critic., 1890-01-31
New virginia postmasters.

The following fourth-class postmasters
have been appointed in Virginia; F. NJ.
Repass, Ceres, Bland County; w. II. Smith,
Golden Spring, Buchanan County; Susan
w. Bocock, Cranberry, Bedford County;
Kate c. Bourne, Grafton, Tazewell County;
W u. Smith, Knolls Campbell County;
Mrs. j, Ii. Fore, Sawyers, Campbell County;
Mallnda A. Hillman, Mekelsvllo, Scott
County; A. Holland, Rediviva, Kappa
hammock County, L. NJ. Mason, Stoyall,
Halifax County.
PANTS reduced to 1890. Elseman Bros,
7th & Il.
The Washington critic., 1890-01-31
MR.. BRrcEs APPOINTMENT.

Mr.. BRCCE!S APPOINTMENT.
If The Office of Recorder of Deeds in
this District is to be conferred on a mau
of color, meaning thereby one with
negro blood in his veins, ex-senator
Bnee's appointment ought to be salts
factory President Garfield appointed
the first colored man to this office in the
person of the Hon. Frederick Douglass.
President Arthur did not disturb him.
President Cleveland appointed the in
cumbent, Mr.. Trotter, also colored
man. President Harrison appears TO
regard the action of his predecessors as
a binding precedent upon him. TIE
CRITIC had hoped to see this custom
broken up. 1t is bad policy to permit
any public Office to come to be looked
upon as the perquisiie of any particular
class of citizens, no matter what their
color, race or nativity.
If the custom of appointing gentle
men to office in this District who are
not citizens of the District is to
prevail, then Mr.. Bruce's appoint
ment is as good probably as the
President could have made, for he is an
honest, reputable and presumably ca
pable man But he has not that ideal
ily Of interest in the District that
would inspire residents to look upon
him as one of themselves. His color
has nothing to do with this. The
Messrs. Wormley and Colonel Perry
Carson, for instance, are colored men
who are thoroughly identified with the
District and are among its best-kuown
people.
The chief objection to Mr.. Bruce lies
in the fact that he is really citizen Of
Mississippi. A correspondent informs
THE CRITIc that il is not so long ago
that he presided over a political con-
vention in that State. Should the Re-
publicans regain ascendancy there Mr..
Bruce would in all probability return
The Washington critic., 1890-01-31
Washington, January 81.
U'fLL- rCLIpSE THE on

Editor critic: We are reioieed TO greet
TnE CRITIC again, after an absence which
other messengers could not fill. The
CRITIC has host of friends. We used to
like its bright, breezy columns, and we are
assured by its new management that the
new will eclipse the old. Hall, then, and
successl This is a free aud hearty congratu-
lation. NJ. ID. LINCOLN.
Ma.hiupton 1anunrV 10
The Washington critic., 1890-01-31

ONE or THE supreme Court Judges OF
Illinois says he always accepts free railroad
passes and does not believe that any rail
road ever gave pass to judge with any
idea Of receiving any return benefit. Tho
The Washington critic., 1890-01-31

The MAN WHO doesn't see thst Mr..
Cannon's committee is going to he the
busy one of this Congress ought to con
suit political occulist about his i'm
pAired foresight.
The Washington critic., 1890-01-31
Fugitive Chinamen Trying to Land.

usHiNo ShiHdueu Aryihk 10 Lhhu.
NoGALEs, AR1z., Jan, 31.-The steamer
Porforio Diaz arrived at Cuaymas Wednes
day with twenty-five Cinnamon on board.
They had been run out of the State OF Sina-
loa, Mex, by the authorities. They were
thought to be the parties who recently beat
and otherwise maltreated the crew OF
small steamer that touched at little town
near Mazatlan. The feeling against the
Chinese at MaZatlan and vicinity has been
for some time bitter, and this last outrage
being attributed to them brought out vig
orous protest against their presence. 1t Is
the expelled Cinnamon is to attempt to
reach the United States, and the custom
officers have been warned to be on their
uuard
The Washington critic., 1890-01-31
To Nienr's ADJUSTMENTS.

Acknowledging Davenport IN La Tosca."
NATIONAL Francis Wilson in "The 0olah. "
BIJor--"Thc Fdklr."
kXaNAN --Rentz-Santley Burlesque Company
G1OBE-Naricty.
The Washington critic., 1890-01-31
Sew York,s Great NIIsery.

ALBANY, N. Y, jan 3l.-Thc Con
ference Committee on the $4,000, 900
Worlds Fair bill reported to the AS
sembly to-day, striking out a. names of
commissioners not residing in New
York City, and the Assembly rejected
the report by vote Of 63 to At.
The Washington critic., 1890-01-31
THE GROWLER.
LEGISLATIVE KICKS.

M Dear Gr0aieF. / ask for temporary
seat at your gFowlers' table. | have only
one nick TO make this trip, but it Is a vigor
Gus, energetic kick, and / make IL with
both feet, shod with hob-nailed shoes.
Why is ii that the American Government,
as typified by the u. s. Congress, doesn't get
more energetic move on itself in dealing
with questions of paramount interest? Can II
be possible that there are too many Dogber-
ries in Congress-
Irefer more particularly to the exaspcr-
atiDg indecsiou Of Congress in dealing with
the new Republic of Brazil. Is Congress in
tending TO delegate the duty honorable
duty, too to future generation of national
representatives? Have the present members
Of that august body water in their veins in
stead of blood: Did patriotism perish with
our forefatherss Human life is limited, and
republics do not live forever Let us wei
come Brazil while she is young and full of
new hope and aspiration, and not wait until
the new blown rose has withered into dust.
Again. Senator ingalls, referred in his late
speech 10 certain incident at Aberdeen,
Miss, in which a chvalrous " and patr-
otic () Southern gentleman God save the
marhO severely whipped an itinerant me
chanic for accidentally loosening rope that
let fall a banner that was n deliberate and
oyelt insult TO the Secretary of War. and.
through him. treasonable contempt of the
U. S. Government.
And yet this insult has not been avenged.
and no stems are being taken toavenge it.
And the man who accidentally dt should
have been purposely) offended Southern
outburst of sectional hatred was beaten like
n slave and compelled TO slink ont OF the
South as II he were a criminal
In few more DAYS we win have four new
stars inserted in the bonny blue flag. This
flag is supposed to symbolic Justice, Lib.
erty, Freedom. But unless the symbol be a
mere mockery. we had be, I remove the stars
and leave only the stripes. more titly emble
matte of n nation of lukewarm poltroons
and imbecilie towards. w. O. JuoN.s
Washington. january 2s.
,,..n.,.,..... ...
mn. ,,.a.",..' M ~" 80 80 .',o ,.
n'. .'V,,a ',, ,,,', tno spyu poopie "no az, av
av,,,ar . e,saat ,at'.,,, " T;,,t; 'S .ns
Tan,r ,.a, m % - ,s,, nosmeen .uaVn s.,vha. an.
.o,, We a., ,',n,ard aI,at,na ,,a hnrs,,,a At
10 shon,,na onaoh,,ans,, ..6nt 90 ,la eashton
nnt ns ,ia ,sor,d :, h,,t NO ,,,Iosa ha,,,t '',
The Washington critic., 1890-01-31
superintendent Turner Dead.

NEW ROCHELLE, n, Y, Jan. 81, Mr.. w.
II. Turner, superintendent of the New
York, New Haven and Hartford Railroad,
died last night.
The Washington critic., 1890-01-31

THERE AIE no Mugwumps any more.
They are all devotees of Grover CIeve.
land
The Washington critic., 1890-01-31

lF THE Worlds Fair is held in Washing
ton we sha'n't need any special geological
display unless by some unforeseen accident
the House should happen to adopt set Of
rules before that time.
The Washington critic., 1890-01-31

A CHICAGO MAN has invented whistling
stopper for bottles containing poison. Ever
since they had that long season of Patti
opera out there everybody in Chicago has
been going in for music.
The Washington critic., 1890-01-31
THE CHAPLAIN's PRA YER.

THE CH1PLAIN'S y PRA ]ER.
In the Congressional Record day after
day at the beginning of the report of
the proceedings of Congress we read
these words; Prayer by the Chaplain"
That is all. Simply, Prayer by the
Chaplain" No record of the prayer,
no description of its character just
this hurried, careless, irreverent, bust
ness-hke reference--a mere memoran-
dun.
TIE CRITIC thinks that the prayer O
the Chaplain should be made part of
the reported proceedings of the Senate
and the House of Representatives. The
Chaplain is an officer Of the Congress
sional body, employed legally and paid
for his labors. 1t cannot be contended
tnat he is such an officer as the Door
keeper, for instance, whose duties are
taken altogether as a matter of course,
because the Congressional Rec0W never
mentions the fact that 'the doors were
opened by the Doorkeeper, whereas it
alw ays informs us that the proce edings
of Congles were opened by the Chap
lain's prayer. If it be necessary-a and
the necessity is rccognized-to refer to
tie fact that the Chaplain uttered u
prayer, it is assuredly duty to present
the Chaplain exact words. Moreover,
the prayer is in no sense preface. 1t
occurs after the Speaker or the Presi-
dent has called the Congressional body
to order. 1t is essentially portion of
the proceedings.
There is, of course a higher argu-
ment than the technical one to warrant
the printing of the Chaplain's prayer in
the Congressional Record. This is a
Christian nation in theory and is be-
coming every year more nearly so in
fact. That the good time may be has
tened wherein all men will believe and
act according to religious doctrines,
everything possible should be done to
| promote the spread of the true faith.
The prayer of the Chaplain is received
by those who hear it with bowed heads,
and doubtless its influence is felt by
them throughout the business of the
day. How instrumental in the propa-
CATION of Christianity would be the
printing of this prayer In the Record.
The thousands of readers of that useful
publication would thus secure not only
the beneficial effect of the words them
selves but the almost equally beneicent
influence OF knowledge of the manner
in which those words had controlled
and strengthened and blessed the
greatest legislative body of the creates
nation of the earth.
The treatment of the Chaplain s
prayer to-day by the Congressional
Record is personal insult to him and a
general insult to Christianity. The in
ference necessarily drawn from this
treatment is that the custom of Con
! sressional prayer is the reluctant ad-
mission Of an infidel nation that there
are still people within its borders fool
ish enough to believe in God aud in the
efficacy of communion with Hin. For
all the attention that the Chaplain re
ccivcs from the Record, Congress might
as well be opened by the barking of a
dog This system of indifference is
logically wrong, morally bad and re-
ligiously impious. and Christian peo-
the throughout the nation should i'm
mediately resent it with sufficient earn
estncss to produce the necessary reform
alton.
The Washington critic., 1890-01-31
Died From a PoIiceman's ri-tol.

CHICAGO, Jan 31,-Patrick Gibb ms,
the man who was shot by Police Cap
tain Schuctler in saloon row OH Tues.
day night, died at $50 o'biork this
morning. Gibbons friends declare they
will have Captain Schuetler arrested at
opcn for po,,rJor
The Washington critic., 1890-01-31

The NEW YORK Joland says there are
5000 professional gamblers in that city.
This is another struggling industry that
would he fostered and set upon its feet by
the location of the Worlds Fair In Gotham.
The Washington critic., 1890-01-31
Cardiff and Godfrey Will Fisht.

MINNEAPoLIs, MINI, Jan. 3l.-Patsy
Cardiff. the pugilist of this city, has
accepted the offer of the Parnell Ath-
letic Club of Boston for fight to a fin
ish with George Godfrey of Boston for
purse of $1,000, 81 900 to the win
ner and 5000 to the loser, the fight to
occur within seven weeks of signing
the articles.
The Washington critic., 1890-01-31

THE HARMONY that does not exist be-
tween Senator Farwell aud the Admins
tration would I'll tin cup with the bottom
knocked ont
The Washington critic., 1890-01-31

PERSONS WHO WE'RE unable to obtain
entrance to the House gallery yesterday
missed a very entertaining spectacle. They
can, however, get a similar general effect
10y tying number of tomcats together by
the tails and Singing them over clothes
line
The Washington critic., 1890-01-31

A CALIroRNIA scientist claims to have
discovered that the rocks of the earth pos
ses vital energy and that they not only have
sex but are ruled by the mating instinct.
The earthquake is then, we presume, a sort
of divorce proceeding,
The Washington critic., 1890-01-31

WASHINGTON, JANUARY 81, 1890
The Washington critic., 1890-01-31

CoRPoRAL TANSER's famous utterHnce,
"God help the surplus now,n has not yet
tegun to lose its usefulness.
The Washington critic., 1890-01-31
count Andrassy very III

LONDON, Jan. 31.-A Vienna despatch
says that Count Andrassy is in stupor,
and that he cannot recover.
The Washington critic., 1890-01-31

FoR THREE DoLLARs-so. says the Min
neapolis Trbme-you can purchase six
little cucumbers and truncdted quart of
strawberries in that market That seems
ridiculously cheap, but they make up for
It by holding the price Of collins HIGH.
The Washington critic., 1890-01-31

THE GERMAN papers denouncc the
Samoan treaty IN words that reach clear
across the column and hang over the edge.