The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1890-12-05
On The Warmth.

, The present blowout aud pow-wow with
the border Indians and their messiah and
ghost dance would be more creduiOus If it
was less expensive to the government.
Everybody except the Indian department
OF the United States knows that the North
American Indian never goes on the war-path
i'm the fall. Ifone Of those billiards. should
catch pack of the rascals it would fix
them. I've been right there, know the lay
of the land. About such time, however,
every two or three years those old redskins
and station agents and post-traders and
other government knaves will get their
noses together and conclude that it is time
to have another pOw-wow TO scare the
department into increasing their government
rations. So Il few of the lazy young bucks
leave their reservation with a great flourish
and deliberately go out and kill lame OK.
This is Immediately telegraphed to head
quarters Of the department of the north
west at Chicago, and the very next reliable
daily comes out with column after column
of double-leaded matter and blazing head
lines, Dangerous condition of the frontier
Indians moving in large bands off from their
reservation" Settlers fleeing for their lives
NC &C." Thereupon forty government
clerks arc fred at forty decaying old desks,
with orders to send forty dispatches every
hour over all the northwest and as much
farther as the wires will permit, from which
point scouts with relays of horses will scOur
the country and feel of the enemy, being
careful not to irritate the North American
Indian if he should see him. Meanwhile
the soldiers along the line are becoming
alarmed and are rubbing the accumulated
dirt of protracted peace from the ancient
war horses who have been dying of old age
and decreptitude in the cavalry stables, and
they are picking the rust out the touch-hole
OF the cannon, which have rolled around the
parade grounds until the erasion has made
the prime-hOle and muZZle about the same
size, so that it is difficult sometimes to tell
which one to load, and they are surveying
the ground to determine the proper place to
begin subteraneum passage in case of q
pr0tracted siege, besides throwing out pick
ct lines preparatory to bloody and horrible
Indian war, which is Of all wars the most
horrible. The telegraph wires to head
quarters arc kept hot by government and
other dispatches. and shortly there is to be
a council of all the officers in the war de-
partment. together with their wives and
families at Washington. If Sitting Bull
should get hungry nobody knows what
might follow. Only the other day he got
drunk on traders post whiskey and as he
yelled sDer viz danch lot joy (hic) letter.
rip" His memory failed him here, and
the balance of the quotation was lost as he
rolled off from his pony and was carried into
his shanty. Immediately forty telegraphic
dispatches were sent to headquarters that
Mr.. Bull had ordered the ''ghost dance" to go
on and another train-l0ad of army supplies
was doubtless forwarded to the front with
instructions not to irritate or provoke the
aforesaid Sitting Bull until Buffalo Bill,
who had secured up his weapons and was
now securing the northwest, could get the
drop on him. This Indian war business is
terrific.
Seriously, however, it would seem that
the proper way to use an Indian is to treat
him as you would q white man, 10 better
no worse. If he behaves himself, protect
him and his property. If he is murder0us
horse-thief, hang him. Trade him shot
gun for his rifle and let him busy himself
killing small game and sitting around to see
the squaws work, same as some of our
squaw men do q.