davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1890-04-26
ANTICIPATED THE STORM.

How Photographer Took the Words Out
of an Irate Mans Mouth.
Irate Customer (thrusting his head
through the slylight doorway)-Say,
what sort of place do you call this,
any how?
Operator somewhat absorbed in ad-
justing his camera -Photograp GAL
lery. Didn't you notice the sign over
the door?
Irate Customer-Photograph gallery?
Yes! I sat for my pictures here over a
month ago, and I haven't got them yet.
I'd just like to know what in thunder
you've been doing?
Operator with pleasant willingness to
impart information) Smoking cigar
cites, drinking beer and lounging round
on the chairs and boxes. We're not fit
to run the business, and our work, be.
sides being poor, is always behindhand.
We keep our customers running after
us until they're tired and disguised, and
make up their minds that they would
not sit for us again if we paid them ten
dollars sitting. But if there is any
thing I can do for you
Irate Customer lin moderated voice)
I'D like to have those pictures as soon
as possible. Couldn't you print me a
few by next week?-Puck.
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1890-04-26
Cheap Excursions tn Alfalfa

The Monon Route will on April Goth, 9th,
2Sth and Goth sell tickets at reduced rates to
Alfalfa, Ala, and return, for the Great
Land Sale April 2Sth, goth and Both. Tickets
ping over at Chattanooga, Lookout Mount
ain, returning Don't miss the opportunity
to visit the New South.
Express trains daily to Cincinnati, CON
Meeting with the Queen & Crescent route.
Alfalfa is the Natural Eastern gateway Of
the great future iron manufacturing dis
trict OF North Alabama, in the center Of the
rich soft red and brown ore belt, with coal
and limestone in easy reach, has four rail
roads, tlne water power, three furnaces,
planning mills. But three years ago a village
OF four hundred, now thriving city of 2, 900.
The sale is under the auspices Of Alfalfa Iron
and Steel Company and consists of choice
within the corporation limits of the city and
adloins the vast iron and coal fields.
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1890-04-26
Texas Spring Palace.

One Of the most noteworthy events in the
South during the year 1890 will be the hold
ing Of the famous Texas Spring Palace at
Fort Worth, which opens on May 10 and
closes with the ending of the month. ssTexas
at glance" is the expression often used in
connection with this palace, and it is very
expressive and comprehensive, as the
resources of the clone Star State.'' The
past twelve months have been the most re-
markable in the history of development in
Texas. Unknown counties have been peo-
pied and new towns and cities have sprung
have been extended, rich and vast deposits
of iron and coal uncovered and worked, and
new and immense industries established.
All the railroads entering the city have
made greatly reduced rates, good for thirty
days. For further information address
B. B. Paddock, President, Fort w orth, Texas.
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1890-04-26
.'What,2i''''

"What?''
'sHere's quarterly bill from the
water office of three dollars. You've
probably had three or four faucets run.
ming for a month or SO"
ssOh, no, dear"
s'Then the cook has-has-
ooh, no. I'm sure the cook has never
carried any of our water home in any of
her bundles. And besides, you are
assessed by the year, and it doesn't
make any difference about the waste.'
''Well, I'll overlook it this time, but
be more careful in future. What's this?''
THE gas bill"
'sThe thunderation! Seven dollarsi
Seven dollars for gas burned in this
house in December! Mrs. Bowser, we
might as well cease to exist right herel
Such extravaganza is unheard off,
"But how am to blame?'
IF not, who is? This house is In
your charge.'
Eyes, but haven't any particular gas.
burner set aside for my sole use. You
see how much is burned each night"
''Then the cook isis"
f'She burns oils
"Well, I'll never pay it-never! IT'S
no more nor less than highway robbery"
'sBut we had lots of company last
month";"
''Makes no difference. If you haven't
opened two or three burners and let the
gas escape then the company is trying
to rob me, and I'll give 'em fits. I'll go
in this afternoon and raise the hair on
some of their heads!''
''Don't be rash, Mr.. Bowser.''
Crash! I'll rasher that chap at the
third window! It's a put-up job to beat
me out of at least three dollars in cash.
And Mr.. Bowser started off with stiff
knees and fire in his eyes, and he en-
tered the gas office to say:
GLOW comes it that my gas bill for
December is SO high?'
"a long month and short days, you
know. Always the largest in Deem
her,"
"Oh-ah! Yes, I see. Very reason
able bill, think, when one remembers
how many rainy days we had. Take it
out of this ten, please. ''-Detroit Free
Press.
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1890-04-26

is ready to go, and then try to careless
ly observe:
ooh, by the way, the cook gave me
list OF three or four articles wanted in
! the kitchen"
"What! Didn't send up list of
things yard long only two days ago?"
1T was last Saturday, my dear"
swell, what is it now?'
''Just three pounds of cut loaf sugar,
I've pounds of granulated, bottle of
blueing, some stove polish, two pounds
If coffee, a pound
"Good lands! but why don't you ask me
TO buy out the whole earth!"
''Mr. Bowser, we must have these
things)to use or cook with. You want
something to eat, don't you?" -.
Something to eat! We are always
eating! We do nothing but buy and eat!
There is more stuff used up in this
house than would feed five ordinary
families!'' Al .
! 81 try to be as saving as CAM
"Oh, yes! All you women try to be
saving, but you don't know no more
what is going on in your kitchens than
"".'AA~~ "AoAA AoA1AANOI. SOGStOV0 polish
lay before yesterday"
''No, dear"
''But am sure of it,
''You got it the same day you got the
:at trap, and at the same place. That
was the day we sent mother book,
and put the date down. It was just
three weeks ago.
swell, give me the bill. I can't stand
Ind argue all day, but want to tell you
that this extravaganza has got to stop.
We can't afford it,
The above is fair sample of the
gauntlet have to run about three times
per week, but there are variations. For
instance, the cook tells me during the
forenoon that the flour is out. I have
two hours in which to work up my nerve
to inform Mr.. Bowser. He comes home
particularly good-natured, and after
dancing the baby about says to me:
81 made five hundred dollars on a
deal this morning as easy as throwing
my hand over"
''That's nice.''
He was so lively and good-natured
during dinner that I told the cook to
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1890-04-26
800 Reward. 300.

The readers of this paper will be pleased
to learn that there is at least one dreaded
disease that science has been able to cure in
al its stages, and that is Catarrh. Halls
known to the medical fraternity. Catarrh
being: constitutional disease, requires
constitutional treatment. Halls Catarrh
Cure is taken internally, acting directly
upon the blood and mucous surfaces of the
system, thereby destroying the foundation
strength by building up the constitution
and assisting nature in doing it's work. The
proprietors have SO much faith in its cura-
tive powers, that they offer 500 for any case
that it fails to cure.Send for list of testi-
Sold by Druggists, 75c.
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1890-04-26
Social Hypocrisy.

He.-My dear madam, allow me to ex.
press my gratitude for your kind invita-.
ton. aside: What an internal bore
this ISL
She-I am delighted to see you once
more, my dear doctor. was afraid you
might be prevented from coming by
business. aside: The old fool He
never declines an invitation. I was
hoping he would stay away
Hell am afraid, my dear madam, that
I trespass on your hospitality. (Aside:
If her husband wasn't rich and sicklv.
six policemen couldn't shove me into
this house.)
she-But, doctor, you know you are
heartily welcome. I hope you are we'll.
aside: I wonder how long he is going
to keep this up? He looks weak on his
pins.)
Hell am we'll. There is no neces-
sity for asking after your health. You
are getting younger and more rosy every
year. aside: 1t is really surprising
how an old bag can rejuvenate herself
with red paint and cotton batting.)
She-O, you fatterer! aside: I'll
say that much for him; he knows. a
pretty woman when he sees her.)
Hell never hatter. You know that.
aside: In my business man must lie
some.) .... .s..s..L
She'll see you again at the supper
table. aside: Perhaps he will take the
hint and go.)
He-I shall be only too happy. aside:
Id give ten dollars if could sneak awav
and go to the club. Texas Cuttings.
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1890-04-26
CONVENIENCE OF THE TELEPHONE.

covery are household words already, and it
has come to stay. Do come and see what
sunshine it has brought already, and let US
thank you again for it,"
I will. Good bye"
The foregoing is a fair representation of a
very common occurrence. Golden Med
ical Discovery has cured severe, lingering
coughs and arrested Consumption, or Lung
scrofula, in thousands of cases after doctors
have failed and other medicines have been
tried and abandoned as useless. The Dis
covery" is guaranteed to benefit or cure
in every case, if taken in time and given
fair trial, or money paid for it will be
refunded.
WORLDS D1sPENsARY MEDICAL Asso-
G1AT1oN, Proprietors, No. 663 Main Street,
Buffalo, N. Y.
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1890-04-26

MRS. BOWSER, DO YOU MEAN TO TELL ME!''
add brush-broom and two pie-tins to
her list. AS Mr.. Bowser was ready to
go said:
twill you take this list along so that
we can have some of the things for sup
per?''
''List? List of what?" he asked, his
smile vanishing in second.
''Of few things. The flour is out"
"W-what!''
1.-THE flour is OUT
s::Mrs. Bowser, you don't mean to tell
me that that barrel of -four is all gomez
Call gone.'
''But got it only six weeks ago! If
it's gone, then half of it has been
stolen!''
"You got it just five months ago, Mr..
Bowser. The date is written on the
cover in pencil"
months! What have you been doing
that you haven't seen the girl carrying
it out of the house every time she went
homer ~- ..-. .......-#
"The girl hasn't carried an ounce of
it away. We have been extra saving to
make it last as long as we have. We
are also out of potatoes"
''Po-potatoes!'
eyes,
"Why, it wasn't three days ago that
got five bushelsv' 9@
SIT was just two weeks ago to-day
that you got one bushel, Mr.. Bowser.
The lard is also out. You only got a
three-pound pail two weeks ago, and as
you like
"Three pounds! Two weeks agol
Why, got ten pounds of lard only
four or five days ago!''
'Impossible!''
''But did! Mrs. Bowser, it is evident
to me that there is extravaganza and
waste from garrett to cellar. and unless
you do something to check it I shall
proceed to take heroic measures
II watch things as closely as I can.
Did the girl put tea on the list?''
''Tea! Good heavens! you can't be out
of tea!''
"But we are. How long do you ex-
pect half pound to last?"
sHalf pound! Didn't get two whole
pounds less than fortnight ago?"
'sNo, sir! You sent up half pound
last week Monday"
Swell! we'll! We take the capsheaf as
the most extravagantf family in Detroit.
It's wonder we are not all in the poor
house.
And he jammed his hat on his head
and walked off without a goodbye, but
to stop and send the articles home and
return to good nature by supper time.
When the gas bill or the water rate
comes in I hold them back as long as
possible, knowing just what sort of a
performance will have to go through.
/ never hand them to him direct, but
leave them where he must find them.
He picks up the water rate, utters a
sshumph!'' and turns on me with:
ssMrs. Bowser, here is some more OF
your extrayagance.
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1890-04-26
WIT AND WISDOM.

--Adversity is the trial Of principle.
Without it a man hardly knows whether
he is honest or not. Fielding.
The love of money is the root Of all
evil, and the possession of money covers
ell evil out of sight Somerville Jour
nal.
The fellow who promises so faith
fully to pay tomorrow often intends to
swindle you to-day.-Arkansaw Tray
eler.
When man attains power, he has
oil the virtues Of an epitaph; let him
fall into misfortune, he has more vices
than the prodigal son.
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1890-04-26
100000 Acres Free.

The Government has recently purchased
from the Sioux Indians the rich agricult-
ural and grazing lands bounded by the Mis-
souri, River on the East, the Black Hills on
the West, the Cheyenne River on the North
and the White River on the South. They
by the Chicago Il Northwestern Railway.
Pierre, the Capital of South Dakota, is the
gateway to the coded lands. The Home
steaders' Union of Pierre will furnish full
information free how to get the government
land. Write to-day.
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1890-04-26

Grievously disturbs the stomachs of invalid
travellers. The motion of the ship and vi
bration of the screw in crossing the ocean
does the like for many in good health. All
travellers should have, as a companion, Hos
letters Stomach Bitters, which fortihes and
regulates the stomach and bowels, counter
acts hurtful influences of climate and
changes Of temperature, and is sovereign
remedy for malarial, rheumatic and kidney
ailments
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1890-04-26
Hello Hello Hello ~"

Chow is your mother, this morning?"
every much better she had a real rest
full sleep last night she is almost rid of her
night-sweats, cough and nervousness, and is
growing quite cheerful. How grateful we
all are to you for that bottle of medicine"
Don't speak of gratitude. What does
the doctor say"
He says he never saw so wonderful a
still thinks we are giving his medicines. I
don't like to tell him"
That's right. He's an old friend, you
know. I'm sure your mother will get well
now but you won't forget the name of the
medicine, will you?"
"Never DR.. Pierce's Golden Medical Dis
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1890-04-26
THE BOWSERS.
MIR. Bowsers Peculiar Ideas Con.
corning Domestic Economy.
SUPPOSE Mr..

S U P P OS E Mr..
Bowser is also like
other husbands in
regard to house
hold expenses, and,
as it comes natural
to them, they can
not help it. When
the cook is in
want of groceries
or provisions she
makes out a list
and hands it to me,
and it is my painful
duty to hand the
same to Mr.. Bow
scr. I always wait
until he has his
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1890-04-26
CONSUMPTION surely Cured.

ToTHE EDITOR :-Pleasein inform your read,
ers that I have positive remedy for the
thousands of hopeless cases have been per-
manently cured. I shall be glad to send two
bottles of my remedy FREE to any of your
readers who have consumption if they will
send me their express and post-ofice ad-
Dress Respectfully, T. A. SLocUM, M c.,
1871 Pearl street, New York.
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1890-04-26
She Was ExtraYapant.

Coroner-What made you attempt sui
eide? e ~>....@ ...-..-.
Wife--My husband didn't give me
enough money to live on.
Husband Speaking up)-That amt so.
The trouble was because she was extrav-
agant. Why, only an hour ago, she
drank fifteen cents worth of Paris green
when ten cents worth would have been
enough.-The Jury.
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1890-04-26

No REGULAR programme can be fixed for
the weather It must all be received sub
ject and liable to change-N O. Picavune.
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1890-04-26

Sic Novels Free, will be sent by Cragin &
Co., Philada., Pa, to any one in the q. s. or
Canada, postage paid, upon receipt Of Is
DoDbln a Electric Soap wrappers. Sec list
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1890-04-26

An athlete who ''paints the town red'
can hardly be expected to keep in the pink
OF conditiOn.-HOtel Gazette
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1890-04-26

air. 1t is the only way they can induce
people to hear them out-Y onkers States
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1890-04-26

DON'T hawk, hawk, blow, spit, and disgust
everybody with your offensive breath, but
use DR.. Sage's Catarrh Remedy and end FL
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1890-04-26
Too Particular.

"Here, waiter! There's a fly in this
SOUP
"Wall, Lord a. massy, mistah-whad
do you want? A Presidential candi
date?'-Puck.
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1890-04-26

DOSE in Time Saves Nine Of Hale,s Hon.
sy OF Horehound and Tar for Coughs.
Pixies Toothache Drops Cure in one minnie
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1890-04-26

The time when Congressman is 'sout Of
order" is when he has been out all night
with the bOvs.-Boston Courier
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1890-04-26

WHY don't you try Carter,s Little Liver
russ They are q positive cure for sick
headache, and all the ills produced by dis
ordered liver. Only one pill q dose.
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1890-04-26

WHEN public man has lost his g-ip he
will not do much handshaking with constit-
uents.-N. O. Picayune. s5ss 0
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1890-04-26

The pawnbroker's life may be q loanly
one, but it has its redeeming features
Hotel Gazette.
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1890-04-26

s'BRowN's BRONCHIAL, TRocHEs,, are wide.
" known as an admirable remedy for
Bronchitis, Hoarseness, Coughs and throat
troubles. Sold only IN boEes.
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1890-04-26

A "CoRNER'' which is not worth a fig
raisin' the currant values to date on dried
fruit.-American Grocer.
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1890-04-26
A Joltinp on the Rail

MARRIAGE is not one tenth as much fail
ure as the average summer resort engage
malt-Baltimore American
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1890-04-26

THERE are some men to whom the loss Of
their regulations would mean mighty good
luck.-W ashington Post = = g
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1890-04-26

THE resort hotels will soon be maxine
preparations for the summer seizin,.-
Washington Post. II. fs.l--.- a.
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1890-04-26

IT is as easy to tell the truth to your wife
as to tell lie, but it is not always 50 ex-
pedient.-Boston Courier
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1890-04-26
ONE ENJOYS

ONE ENJOYS
Both the method and results when
Syrup of Figsis taken; it is pleasant
and refreshingto the taste, and acts
gentlyyetpromptly on the Kidneys,
Liver and Bowels, cleanses the sys-
tenn efectually, dispels colds, head
aches and fevers and cures nabitual
constipation. Syrup of Figs is the
only remedy of its kind ever pro-
duced, pleasing to the taste and &C.
ceptable to the stomach, prompt in
its action and truly beneficial in its
effects, prepared only from the most
healthy and agreeable substances,
its many excellent qualities COM
mend it to all and have made it
the most popular remedy known.
Syrup of Figs is for sale in SOC
and 81 bottles by all leading drug
gists. Any reliable druggist who
may not have it on hand will pro>
cure it promptly for any one who
wishes to try it. Do not accept
any substitute.
CALIFORNIA FIG SYRUP co.
~ SAN FRANCISCO, CAL.
LOUISVILLE XIV NcW v0PY NV
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1890-04-26
On, how can fair M alden smile and be gay.

She can't 1t is impossible But if she
will only take DR.. Pierce's Golden Medical
Discovery, it will cleanse and stimulate her
disordered liver, purify her blood, make
her spirits cheerful, and her
temper sweet All druggists
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1890-04-26

IT is no longer necessary to take blue pills
to rouse the liver to action. Carterss Little
Liver Pills aremuch better. DOM forget this,
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1890-04-26

VASELIkE PREPARATIONS.
On receipt of price in postage stamps we will send
free by mail the following valuable articles:
One Box of Pure Vaseline, !. 10 Cents,
One Box of Vaseline Camphor Ice, 10 Cts.
One Box of Vaseline Cold Cream, Is Cts.
One Cake of Vaseline Soap. {. 10 Cents.
One Bottle of Pomade Vaseline, Is Cents.
If you have occasion to use s'Vaseline" in any
form be careful to accept only genuine goods put
up BY us in original packages: A great many
vaseline Preparations put up by them Never yield
to such persuasion, as the article is an imitation
without value and will not do good nor give You
Seal Vaseline is sold by all druggists ten cents
Novaseline genuine unless on the label
cheSebrough Mfg, Co., "a State ST.. n. Y.
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1890-04-26

soHE pointers in the bucket-shop bust
ness prove to DO OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1890-04-26

SAW FRANCISCO, CAL.
LOUISVILLE. KY, NEW YORK. N.Y.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-10-31

Pacific Mail for Fargo,
Bismarck, Niles City,
Livingston, Helena
Butte, Spokane Falls,
Seattle, Tacoma aud
Portland. 49,. 80. Al
Pacific Express dim
ited) for Tacoma,
Seattle, Portland and
all coast points. 49,. 81
Wfnnipeg Express for
Brainerc, Ferg's Fills.
Wahpeton, Grand
Forks, Grafton. Win
nipeg. Moorhead, Far
go and jamestown. =. Sc
Fargo Express. daily
Except Sunday, for
Brainerd. Fargo and
intermediate points. 8: 4
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-10-31
NOW LAY LONG ODDS.
illinois Statutes and Chicago
Ordinances On Pool Sell
ing Declared Invalid.
Turtle Corrlgan Will No
Longer TerroriZe the
Poor Bookmakers.
Prominent Horsemen Plan
ming to Correct Some
Turf Evils :
Racing in Saddle and Sulky
on Half q Dozen
Tracks.

CHICAGO, Oct. 30.-Judge Tuley gave
his decision in the pool room case this
morning and Ed win COrripan was de
feated, the city ordinance declared
Illegal and the pool room men absOlved
from paying their fines, which aggre-
gate nearly $4,000. 'The legislation is
unconstitutional, vicious and immoral"
said Judge Tuley when he summed up
The reasons for deciding as he did and
il is blow at the principles which un-
ierlie the republic"
The decision is a most important one.
Il means that Edwin Corrigan cannot
sell pools OH the race track hereafter,
md II does away with the city ordinance
regard to pool selling. 1t places pool
selling everywhere and under any Cir
oumstanceS upon an equal with faro,
poker or gambling of any form. and
makes the man who sells pools as liable
punishment as the man who runs a
Gambling house. Nearly 100 pool sellers
lad been arrested on an ordinance that
-laimed race track association had q
right 10 sell pools, but pool room had
no such right. The city of Chicago has
40 right by ordinance to regulate gam
pfing. but only to suppress it. A pro-
viso was passed which gave right to
sell pCOlS W IdlI anu IdCiIiS dSSOCioIlOho
upon the grounds of such organizations
during the time of fairs or race meet
ings, and was in this unequal in its OPP
erationS. The ordinance was void. Judge
ruley held, because it was opposed to
to the provisions of the constitution of
;he- state of Illinois. and the proviso
could not be rejected as void and the
remainder of the ordinance stand. No
special legislation should be allowed to
he held where general law will an
sNer.