The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-10-23
2
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

Conscience is that within US that
tells No whom our neighbors are doing
wrong. Epoch.
Never Gives Out-'They tell me
your wife has an excellent temper?'
eYes. 1t never fails her. IN. Y. Herald.
~ say. Charley, that man over there
must be a millionaire. mo. guess
not He looks too happy" -Fliegende
Batter.
III you ever doubted that man
could be sarcastic, you doubt it no longer
when you have heard him praising your
enemy.-Atchison Globe.
-Cobwigger-" Why docs woman
have her pocket where it's so hard to
get at it?'' Merritt-"So that she can
stick her friend for the car fare."-
Epoch.
Mrs. CHARACTERIZATION says that
no experiment which he has tried at
night ever failed" -'Then
he never tried to walk his baby to
sleep."-N. Y. Sun.
MIR. Newman-"Willie, what did your
sister say about the ring gave her?"
Willie-''She thaid she wondered who
wath fool enough to trutht you for it,
jewelers. Weekly. -. s.. - -.sg /
Somebody wants to know why pretty
women generally marry homely men.
We have clinging belief that it is done
to give their own beauty the benefit OF
contrast.-Ram's Horn.
~ think" said the editor in a wor-
ried tone. shat will drop journalism
and take to astronomy" "Why?" "Well,
astronomers always seem to have more
space than they know what to do WITH
Washington Fost. - @-' i" - - 1
What" inc uired the telegraph edi-
tor of the sporting editor, lis the most
troublesome poker query you ever had
to answer" "'What have you got?
think is a question that has bothered
mo as much as any thing else. wash
ington Post.
City Dame Cooking for country
board)-"Do you object to children?'
Mrs. Hayseed-" depinds, mum. -
City Damo-"Depends on the sort of
children they are, I suppose" Mrs.
Hayseed-"No'm. Depinds on the sort
of mothers they has."-Good News.
-Cholly--"Mr. Threads, don't you
think have earned a vaoation?" Mr.
Threads -"Um- well-yes, guess you
have. In fact, that is about all you have
earned this year. Your vacation will
commence next Saturday night, and you
can have all you want "-Terre Haute
Express.
-"Yes," said the young girl, lido is
a hvs OH 60 -
even observed it, said Billy Bliven, her
cousin. ''But he has one very bad habit
He always bowls whom play the piano. ~
''He IS a smart dog. isn't he?" rejoined
Billy, abstractedly.
THAT Boston man is awfully cool. :"
"How does he show it?" "Why, when
our ship struck the iceberg last summer,
and every body was crowding into the
boats, he wouldn't leave until he had
changed his necktie." @, pshaw! That
wasn't GOODNESS. That was Boston,
Harper's Bazaar.
Young Father-"I wish you would
make arrangements to baptize my baby
Tomorrow" Mr.. Halo-"Why, l bap-
tiled the child last Sunday. Let me see;
Percy you said to call him." Young
Father-"Yes; but Uncle Percy has
made an assignment, and we have de-
cided to change the kids name to Zach
ariah. Uncle Zach is as solid as the sur
plus. ''-America.
Eastern Lady Tin Colorado)-"It
makes mo sick to hear some OF your
western names The idea of calling q
pretty town like this Wagonwheel. p"
Resident-'It isn't nice name, and if
we ever change it l promise to let you
know at once" II wish you would. :"
where shall address you?" Horse
heads, Now York. "-Philadelphia Rec
ord