The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1890-07-10
WEDDED HAPPINESS.
Nov IL Largely Depends Upon Perfect
CsnfdSncs and FPankness.

CsnfldSncs and Frankness.
The only possible secrets between two
married people should be those which
sre confided 70 either one Of them by
others. While some people, who call
themselves worldly wise, will laugh 1t
the idea Of such perfect confidence as
this implies, others still, especially the
newly married, who have had small
worldly experience, will be shocked that
should suggest the keeping Of any kind
of secret by either wife or husband
from the other. am not prepared to
say that these last are not the wiser OF
the two. Only, in that case. when any
confidence Is proffered toeither husband
or wife, the recipient Of it should make
his or her position clearly understood.
No personal secret can fitly belong to
one OF the two people OF whom love and
law have made one flesh. The very
ideal OF marriage had been realized by
that old Judge who had knelt for SO
many years to say last prayer ct night
beside his wife, that when ut last she
had left him his lips were dumb, and
without her he could not even open his
heart to God.
One frequent cause OF trouble in mar
ried life Is want Of Openness In busi-
ness matters. A husband marries a
pretty, thoughtless girl, who has been
used to taking no more thought as to
how she should be clothed than the
lilies OF the field. He begins by not
liking to refuse any Of her requests. lie
will not hint. 50 long as he can help it,
at care in trifing expenses-he does not
like to associate himself in her mind
with disappointments and self-denials.
And she, who would have been willing
enough, in the sweet eagerness to please
Of her girlish love, to give up any whims
or fancies Of her own whatever, falls
iato habits Of careless extravaganza,
I'D feels herself injured when, at last
q remonstrance comes. How much
wiser would have been perfect opennesi
in the beginning.
There are thousands of little courte
sizes, also, that should not be lost sight
of in the cruel candor OF marriage. The
secret Of great social success Is t<
wound no ones self-love. The same
secret will 60 far toward making mar
riage happy. Many q woman who would
consider it an objectionable rudenesa
not Il, listen with an air of interes
to what . mere acquaintance !!
saying, will have no least scrupl,
| in showing her husband that hi
| talk wearies her. OF course, the bes
| thing is when talk does not weary
when two people are so unified in tast
| that whatever interests the one is Q
equal interest to the other, but this cal
not always be the case. even in happ
marriage; and is It not better wort
while to take the small trouble Of pay
| ing courteous attention to the one VIII
depends on you for his daily happines
than even to bestow this courtesy on th
| acquaintances whom it is transien
pleasure to please.
ldeality is good house-mate. Tha
love lasts longer. as we'll as reache
higher, which idealizes its obiect-ye
there is one dangerous direction whicl
ideality may take. II it deceives us In
to the belief that we are wedding per
fection, then the revelation of human
| infirmities, which is an inevitable con
sequence OF all marriage, comes upo
US with a shock which is sometime
perilous to contentment. The best ant
dote for this rude shock would be q littl
wholesome eself-examination. The vair
est Of us can scarcely cherish secre
belief in our own perfection. We n
alize in ourselves, when we look within
the very faults Of which we are most II
tolerant in OF .ers. Above all thing.
let those who would and in earthly ma
riage heavenly delight and life-lon
sweetness, learn that to love-which il
cludes all good things-includes forgiv'
ness Of sins and gentlencss Of judgmen
| domestic MONTHLY.