Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-03-08
THE TOPICAL TALKER.
Sir Lucius O'Trigger Hears Recitation and
Gives Thirty Cents and Some Good Ad.
vice-Women's Wnys-The Price of Rab-

Sir Lucius O'Trigger Hears a Recitation ant
Gives Thirty Cents and Some Good Ad.
vice-Women's Wnys-The Price of Rab.
RILLY FLORENCE the genial. big-hearted
actor, likes joke. Victim or victimized
it's all the same to Billy. It's the fun of the
thing he enjoys, you know, and he welcomes O
diversion of this sort at all times and under all
circumstances. Billy called on some young
friends yesterday afternoon, and during his re-
cital of the mishaps of The Rivals during
the journey to Pittsburg and the good nature
of the fine audience that greeted them, tap
on the door Of the audience room cut short the
narrative.
He who answered the call returned with a
twinkle in his eye, and asked Billy if he would
grant an audience to female aspirant for
honors thespian, who took great pride in her
ability to roll off Shakespeare by the yard and
minor authors by the perch. Certainly" said
O'7Tigger, show the lady in." A comely,
though antiQuated, woman slided over the
threshold and faced the great actor. He
turned his blue orbs ceilingward, and soft
sigh escaped him. To relieve his embarrass-
ment the usher turned to the lady AMI said:
Are You going to see Jefferson and Florence
to-night?
No. Pm not. rrc going to see Nellie Bly,
when she comes, though" This, in rich
feminine brogue. that caused OTrtgger to face
the visitor.
SAN is this Florence-Billy Florence? Are
you an actor who plays Shakespeare?'
Not Shakespeare, my good woman-not now,
at all events. like William and mis- works,
but the dear public didn't agree with me.
Shake didn't go, you know" mournfully replied
Billy.
Now would You like to hear some Shakes
peare? Just close the door and I'll show you
what can do, understand you want to hear
me, and would like to get your opinion of my
powers. I'll just speak little piece for you to
judge me-"
RILLY glared at the small company and then
struck an attitude. With one hand upon a
table and the other resting between the buttons
of his coat he calmly awaited the agony. With
out further ado the Shakespearean fiend cut
loose. Billy evidently expected scene
from "Hamlet'' or 1.-THE Merchant of
Venice" When the first lines glided
from between the set teeth of the
awful example of the power of drama he was
startled. She had evidently forgotten her cue,
and, instead of tragic blank verse, she galloped
through the jangle of "Alonzo the brave, and
the fair Imogene"-not the parody but the Or
iginal in its entirety. Moments grew into min
utes ana tne ceaseiess monotone cohtinueu'
proAeh only py Tue groans anu siGns VI " 111g.
9eT'wno irequentiy intelJecteu suon CO. o.r
as: ''Oh, the dear, pretty creature;" Heaven
nelp US; "hat cruelty; HOW aoes II COME .na'
Alonzo, and even 1, should nave 10 endure
sucn torture' Gooa "onan, tnis Calls ior
tears: etc.
suooen as tne snock from an eiee'lle i,sn'
wire on which dead companion has settled,
tne woes Oh tne iair Imogene were prougns W
ciose Win 'Wen' florence, my iao' "nat 40
you lnlnk OF that nowT
owe ELL sald Billy cooily, TO De nones' win
you, my eooo woman, don LINK much
OF 1t at all. thought you wanted me 10 see
you act, not near you trot through d Jingle
without any actlon at all. at all. get paia ior
aetlhS' NOT ior racing tnfousn iohs speeones VI
mohotonous posy' oeiioueiy' ms oeai "olh".'
you snouio thro" ac'ihs in'o youi WIZ M Don
stand with your hands crossed on your apron'
and no more expression III your lace 'nan d
pooK agent. NO" "neh you come 10 'ne pAr'
ABOUT tne morse, you snouio nave acteu liAe
morse. where the a"tui iiles aoou. 'ne Willis
crawling througn tne Skull Oh tue iair lmogene
occur, you snould nave acteu nAe "orni'
DemostAenes ana otners lKe hlm ausoca1e
actlon not "orus Action Is the inains.ay VI
ora'ory' NY s'ou woman 'Ni' i1
iuture' doou oay' NOT gooupy.
Iwenty-nVe cents' please: pipeo 'ne shriii
voice OIL tne eiocutlonary arLsI
wen. tnis Is go' saiu v tr'ggei twenty-
five cents for giving you good advice. Here's
thirty. Boys, chip In. inlnk OF the tun you've
nadr'
May you never want 1or Dite or DedF
were the words Walteu tnrough the doorway as
the elderly stage-struck woman departed.
inls Is tne JOKE on nliiy: II cost nitn oo
Genus. ine otners were Ie' on iof -o
NOT many weeks ago leaoing retal dry-
goods store IN this city received a con-
signment OF spring dress goods ihey were
the LATEST Styles, anu a IeaQy safe might nave