Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1890-03-28


worth hearing. She would sit down and
talk to her pa by the hour about the
whichness of the whatsoever, and the sur
vival of the fittest, and the hornithologi-
cal pleasantly, aud the evolution of the
genus homo; and her pa would cross his
legs and stare at her in admiration, and
once in a while he'd drop his under jaw,
and exclaim: t.I want to know" As
for me, didn't understand her talk, and
I didn't pretend to, and I kept right on
a-b'iling, and a-frying, and a-scrubbing,
jest as if Lizy Ann warn't a-talking. She
got letter one day, perfumed so that it
scented the whole house, and she come
out into the kitchen with it, where me
and Polly Jones was a-pickin' over dan
delion greens, and sed shd:.
"Ma, have Just received some very
delightful intelligence"
"Have you9" says I, "what might it
be-"
"Gustavus We're De We're thinks he will
favor US with visit"
"The land sake!" says I, "when is he
going to favor9"
"Next week, - says she.
"Good gracious" sed I, "what ever
made him think of coming next week2
That's the time sot to bile my soft soap,
and your pa is going to kill that crooked
legged pig; and Polly Jones sot out to
have the heft of her teeth pulled out,
and the hens is all a-setting, and we can't
git no eggs to speak of, and the spare
chamber carpet is up, and the old mares
lame in her hind leg, and Uncle John
he's got bile coming, and it's kinder
atween hay aud grass in the vegetable
line, the old taters is strong and the new
ones hain't got along"
"Why, ma" says she, "you talk as if
Gustavus was sordid minded being
whose only thought was his gastronomic
propensities. Ma, assure you he is too
full of soul to give thought to such
vulgar things as those you speak of"
"Good landl" says l, she has to cat,
don't he? He'd die of the hungry
stomach-ache if he didn't, should ex.
pect."
'sDon't tease her, mother, says Jere-
miah, coming in just then after drink
of sweetened water. ''By jingo, it's
hot! Summers got here in airnest. |
must hoe that five-acre patch of corn to-
morrow. And the skeeters has got
round as thick as hasty-pudding! Never
see the beat of 'em so airly in the year"
There wasn't nothin' for me to do but
to make the best of it and get ready for
our expected visitor. didn't cook up
much, because Gustavus warn't no eater,
and put off the soap billing, and Jere-
miah he postponed the hog business, as
Lily Ann sed, sign die. Mr.. De We're
arrived Monday afternoon. Lizy Ann
had spent the whole forenoon in getting
ready for him, and she had combed her
hair so that her head looked as large as
half -bushel basket, and she was
powdered as white as the statoo of
General Jackson in the public liberry at
Allenville.
Mr.. Dc We're was tall and lank and
drab He looked as il he had been born
tired, and hadn't got rested, and he put
me in mind of that old green calico dress
of mine that didn't wash well, and
the color of it all kinder run into one
luther and gin it home.sick look all
over.
He couldn't seem to talk plain, and he
wore gold-bowed eyeglasses that kept
continerly falling off his nose and kept
him busy the heft of the time a-rescuing
'em from destruction.
din't say nothing about eating till
supper time, seeing as De We're want no
eater to speak of, but good land! when
he had got filled up my table looked as
if full grown cyclone had swept acrost
it, an throwed all the vittles into the ad
joining township! No appetite, indeed !!
A boa constructor couldn't have eat any
more. No, not even If he had sot up
nights, and put in eating hours. Lily
Ann was as happy critter as ever you
see, and she and Mr.. De We're talked al
together in words Of six sylIables; and
they sung some opperatic music and
scared our dog Towser so that he quit
the house and didn't come back for a
week and the two cats that was asleep
in the clothes basket in the wood shed
fuzzed up the hair on their backs and
tails as they listened, and then they give