Morning journal and courier., 1890-03-06
skT0NEV.,,

Henry VIII differed from other men as 6 suitor. He married his wives and axed them afterwards. Chicago Ledger. A singer may have lots of tone and yet be anything but toney; he may have notes he calls his own, yet live on pigs' feet and bo. logna.-Morning Journal.
 "Well why don't you speak out-don't you like itq' said the artist. ''I don't know yet -ah-is that . goat or cactus off there in the fslda"-New York Sun. CT hear your coachman ran off with $500 of your money. Are you going to try to re- cover ita, sNo, tha poor fellow will need it. My daughter went with him" ."-New York Sun.
 Teacher-"Now take the sentence, Mary made some cocoanut cakes.' How do you parse scocoanut cakee7'" The whole school Gin unison)-"We never pass cocoanut cakes. " -Somerville Journal.
 Disgruntled boarder (to landlady)-"If I were in your place, Mrs. Tuffern, I'd dis charge the cook" Landlady (with spirit)- )- eff I were in your place, Mr. Owen, I'd dis charge that board bill. ."!Time. Judge-"And what did the prisoner say when you told him that you would have him arresteda" Complainant - 'sHe answered mechanically, yer honor" Judge-"Explain J Complainant-'He hit me on the head with hammer. Transcript. ..-a5
 "What do you charge for performing the
 marriage ceremony" asked prospective bridegroom of Chicago clergyman. "Five dollars,' ? replied the minister; "but you car save money, by buying communication Sun.
 Maltby (as a snowball hits him in the back of his nsck)-Blank dash the blue fired, dash be blanked young hoodlum that threw! Mrs. Maltby-S-s-s--sh, Peterkin! Remem. Der, you were a boy yourself once.
 "Yes, madam, what if wasa Do you sup pose that when was boy didn't swear when 8 snowball took me in the neck9"- Time.
 Husband-This gymnasium exercise is . great thing for one, can tell you. Why, machine this afternoon and didn't feel a bit tired.
 Wife (next morning)-I wish you'd shovel path through the snow out to the gates.
 Husband-Do you want me to break my back. Sarah2 Go and get some tramp to do it.-Munsey's Weekly.
 Too Long to Wait.-Elderly but Rich Ad- is some disparity in our ages, but it Is not too great, hope. I have known cases in whioh--" Young Beauty-"Please ex- cuse me for asking, MT. Means, but what is your agea" sI shall be fifty-three years old ono week from next Friday, Miss LiIian.' '' with 6 sigh)-"The disparity is not great enough, MT. Means, by about twenty years. /" Chicago Tribune.
 Easy as Swimming.-Mr. Slimpurss (who has been accepted by Miss Wealthy, without inquiries as to his financial standine)-sI wonder, my darling, If your parents will give their consentr' Miss Wealthy (thoughtfully) -"Ma has always been very particular about the character of young men l associate with and I'm afraid she'll ask good many ques. tions." Mir. .SNmpurse Goyfully( (-tOh, can get references from half a dozen ministers. T Miss Wealthy (delighted) That's splendidl Then after that all you'll have to do will be to get references from half dozen bank. CTS and you'll catch pa."-New York Week. ly. Changeable Weather.-Maine Man (inish. ing e story)-"Yes, sir, I killed that bear with nothin' but this little jaoknife. Guess you never had a tussle with a bear, did youl" New York Liar-"Oh, yes; I was out fishing one day on Staten island, when a big bear made rush for me and knocked the pole out of my hands, leaving me with out even that means of defense. We'll, sir, I grabbed that bear, threw him down and held him there until he froze to death" Maine Man (gasping)-"I might "a done that many time myself, but the weather up our way don't change so quick as it does here. ."-New
 York Weekly.