Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1890-08-08

Anything wrong with the coffee this
morning, Johnf7 "No. It's good enough"
biscuits all right" II haven't any fault
to find with the biscuits "Steak cooked
about rightP" II don't see anything
wrong with the steak What are you
driving at Mariaf" "No complaint to
make about anythingf" mo. What in
the world do you" '.John, I wish you
would let me have fifty cents to buy some
ribbons
A man learns from experience in
everything except in marrying.
General Butler in lpme advice to am
bitious young men says, ''Never do . mean
thing fer money" Let us add to this the
suggestion, never do mean thing for any
thing whatever. Whether the world hears
of it or not. it will abide with you as long
as you have conscience-and when you
cease to have that you have lost the thing
that best excuses your living. No, young
man; do not trife with your selfrespect.
Vote the Republican ticket and be respec-
table even il you don't make cent.
-"The cruiser Philadelphia made nine
teen knots an hour. BY the way, parsou,
what is your best timer" The Chicago
minister throught moment. my best /
think was sixteen. But then three Of
them had never been married before and,
of course, their inexperience caused some
little delay"
-"Shut woman upf" said the de-
termined looking man; nothing i'm
possible about it. 1t can be done. I've
done it many time myself" The others
looking at him as men do when they strike
either a phenomenal old-school or a fresh
variety of school liar. Eyes, many .
time, " he con ntinued, .'and can do 1t again.
You see, Pm one Of the turnkeys at the
county Jail"
-'Iook here, Mary didn't that young
man kiss you while yon two were standing
in the hall just before he left" asked the
old lady looking over her spectacles at the
blushing vision of sweetness she had been
more or less responsible for during the
past eighteen year. ~ cannot tell Lie,
mamma. Bnt it was only once" "Only
oncef Lord, how different the young men
are nowadays to what they were when
was girlie
The Favorite game in New Jersey in
more senses than one centres about the
mosquito. 1t is ''hide and seek" The
summer visitor furnishes the hide and the
mosquito seeks 1t.
Senator Evarts no longer holds the
palm as the. champion long sentence
speaker. One was uttered in New York
court the other day that 1t will take the
subject of il lifetime to get thro'.
A featheless chicken is the latest i'm
in Georgia poultry. But not
until chickens grow already roasted and
with q knife and fork will
some people be satisfied.
--"And You call that young Scrapesy .
So he is, and . good one.'
"Well, for musician he keeps shockingly
bad time. He didn't come in this morning
until near o'clock.
Long Service: Employment Agent
See herel How is thisf You stayed TWO
weeks in your last place. How did that
happenf" Domestic-"Sure Oi Dunno.
Oh musht av oversight meself.
Many undertakers and doctors are
opposed to any duty on cigarettes They
lre willing to hare tobacco taxed out Of
existence. bnt cigarettes shouldn't be
taxed.
The Grsvestone Angel: II wish !
was an angel" said Willie. 'rWhyr ut
must be bully this weather to DO nothing
,ut head with pair of feather fans be-
lind your ears