Morning journal and courier., 1890-11-04
SECURED.


days secure thema-Tsxas Siftings.
"What's 'caffy O. lay anyhow, Jima'
ssDunno. Guess it must be coffe and
sggs."-Harper's Bazaar.
1t is all right for girl to look into the
future, but it is not becoming for her to
look forward.-Yonkers Statesman.
Author-What is your opinion of my
new booka
Critic (after long pause)- punetua-
ton is frst-class.-The Ksrlsruher Mach
richten.
Uncle George, who was full of brusque-
rie and humor, was delegated to give
the bride away. So he stood up before
the vast congregation and announced
her age as Observation-Disclosures Lead
or.
People seem to realize the worthlessness
of beauty compared to the worth of good
ness, in one respect at least. We never
saw tombstone that said the one under
it was the belle of the town when alive
Atchison Globe.
Watts-Now if understand correctly,
| the first principle of Socialism is to divide
with your brother man. Potts-Then you
| don't understand it correctly. The first
| principle of Socialism is to mako your
brother divide with you.-Indianapolis
| Journal
! In the familiar song Pull for the
Shore" there is a line, "Cling to self nc
more" which, as sung by the colored chill
| dren in one of the schools, sounded
strangely, and on having it said slowly il
was discovered that they were singing
"Clean yourself no more."-Americar
Missionary.
| A Minnesota husband gave the alarm
| that his wife had mysteriously disap
peared and four hundred people turned
out to search for her. After eighteel
| hours of search she was found in her owl
bed, whore she had retired to sulk becaus
her husband said the potatoes weren'
done enough.-Detroit Free Press.
Young LADY, heard somebody kiss yo
in the dark hall last. night. Maid-Yo
got kissed, too. Young Lady-Yes, bu
that's the young man to whom am en-
gagged to be married. There is no harm i
that. Maid-Tm glad to hear it He wa
the young man you heard kissing me i
the hall last night. Young lady faints.-
Texas Siftings.
you be MINER "Will you always let m
have my own waya'' always, dearest.
"And my mother may live with usl
"willingly." "And not ask for late
keyF' 'fI would rather throw it in th
sea-" And give up your club. and alway
be at home to dinner!" 'Always, and o
the minute" ''Then you must excuI
me, but you are not at all the sort of ma
I should wish for husband. ."-Fliegend
Blatter.
A Growing Evil.-Mr. Bings Ito h
daughter)-"Clara, is it possible that
saw you reading that realistic novel, 4
Last yesterday" Clara (meekly)-"I a
afraid you did, father" Mr.. Bings-
"Has it come to this, that the venomo'
, serpent of corrupt literature, the insidio'
poison of overcharged and fetid imagin
tions, is even now tracking it crimse
course through my very household! Ho
was it-goodF'-Life.
sf'Well, you may come to work in Il
morning." said white woman to . c1
ored lady whom she had just employe
: "Yessum; but, lady, dar is onsp'nt VIII
t we hain't settled yit." ''What is that
a ssW'y, lady, yer amt gin me no stifferl
:. O. character. allus wants to know VI
I's wuckin' fur. got picked up de ID
: place wucked. 1 didn' ak fur no chara
: ter, an hadn' been dar long tell Parn
& dat de lndy's husban' wuz or Dimmercri
: It's bes' ter fix desc things up at flu
lady. y."-Arkansaw Traveller.