Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1890-01-02
FOLLY AS IT FLIES

fhED Vyseets Aae AAAo Iotiee. 1heJ
90 twelve in box
IT may be that love makes the world
90 round, but an overdose Of whisky
will do it more successfully.
Why is a game Of ball Like . buck
wheat cake? Because it's. success de-
pends very largely upon the batter.
The Edison girl-She has so much
magnetism. you bet she has. Why,
courting with that girl is one longielec-
trio spark"
AT the minstreIs-Mr. Fangle-
Well, that's the richest lot of dry jokes !
ever heard Mrs Fangle-Is that
the reason you had to irrigate so often?
AUNT KEzIAH-Well, Kitty, SO you're
to be married? Kitty-Yes, aunt,
Providence permitting; but wouldn't
it be awful if that dress shouldn't
come?
NEW BoARDER Ito his neighbor)-Is
this what they call spring chicken
here? Old Boarder-Yes; it probably
gets its name on account Of its elias
ITCHY.
SWELL, no, he's not what you would
call great liar. He'll tell a dozen lit
tie lies every day, though" "0h, 1 see,
and it would take him twelve days to
be guilty of lying"
A SCHOLAR in suburban school, the
other day, on being told by the teacher
to always begin dates with a capital let
ter, asked if he should always begin
figs in the same way.
MR. BooDY HOUSE - Was Cherry
Streete drunk again last night? Mr..
Perry ST. Clair-No, not exactly; but
he borrowed my corkscrew to try and
draw sober breath.
VISITOR in Kentucky-I noticed that
you called that man Judge. Is he a
United States Judge or local Judge?
Native-A local jedge, sab. He was
jedge at hoss-race last week, sab.
A YOUNG lady sent in a poem en-
titled Il Cannot Make Him Smile" to
newspaper. The editor ventures to
express the opinion that she would have
succeeded had she shown him the poem.
your father was q very energetic
man, was he not?" very. Why, he en-
listed in 81, and it didn't take him
more than three weeks to do his fight
ing, while others were ut it four years" !"
"Do YOU remember that awfully
smart boy you used to have in your of
fice-Johnny Smith," 20, yes. How
did he come out?" @He hasn't come
out. He got twenty years in Sing
Sing"
PAPA (who has Just been made magis-
trate. addressing his little daughter)-
Lily, I can marry people now; did you
know that? Lily (anxiously)-But
you won't, papa. Don't you think
mammals enough?
PRIVATE BULLION, of the Elite
Guards, All, a uniform is the thing
to catch the hearts of the dear crea-
lures! His Valet - Right you are,
sor. 1 was on the pillace foorce NEE
self, wanst.
"THE Empress of Austria sits alter
nately on either side of her horse.
says an article on "Horsemanship for
Women" Everybody will be glad to
hear that she sits that way alternately
and not simultaneously.
II DON'T see how Mrs. McGay can af-
ford to wear so many tips on her hat.
There is row of them all the way
round the brim." afford it? I won
der that she hasn't the whole hat made
OF tips. Her husband is hotel waiter,
you know"
Mrs. MUSHROOM mel There
is something out of order in this house
again. Mr.. Mushroom What's
wrong, my dear? Mrs. Mushroom
The gas meter doesn't work right
wish you would send for gastronomer
to come and fix it.
THE TALE OF A KISS.
/ stole a wee kiss
1 shall ne'er steal another.
In a transport Of bliss
I stole q wee kiss
But the pretty young miss
Had pretty big brother.
stole a wee kiss
I shall neer steal another.
philadelphia Jester.