The Opelousas courier., 1890-12-13

cal squalls. You and Mckinley had
better wrap the drapery of your high
tariff night gowns three times around
your shapely anatomies, and lie down
to pleasant dreams, for the place that
knows you will not be acquainted with
you much hereafter. Mckinley will pro-
baby not return to Washington at all,
and you will sit around with your nose
out of Joint and a handful of ribs
loosened from your vertebr8. Mckln-
ley ought to quit politics or start q
journal and call it the Planters Jour
nal As a planter Mckinley can give a
regular undertaken points,"
Reed laughed and said with q grin
he didn't think it was going to be
much of a shower. I told him he grins
best who grins when all the returns
are in. I wonder what his face looks
like now.
The unkindest dig of all came from
New York. Harrison had reliable ad-
vices that the fusion ticket with Cap
Scott at the head was going to have a
walkover. Cap Scott was supposed to
be bringing the reform gun to bear on
the Democratic coon, which was ex-
pected to say: Don't shoot, Cap
Scott, I'll come down. When we
read the returns we discovered that 1T
was not a coon at all but a cat.
The varmint" came down on
Scott's invitation, and Scott was IN
inside the Tammany cat. AS the keep
er in the menagerie said to the little
boy, who wanted to know if the tiger
would bite, the reply was No, sonny,
he will not bite you. He swallows ms
vittles whole"
have not had a chance to converse
with Wanny." The last time | saw
him he rolled up his eyes and said that
it was contrary to his Christian tram
ing to rejoice over the misfortunes OF
anybody, that he really felt sorry for
the Democracy. that it was really Il
dead party. | reckon now he Will see
some force in che remarks of Josh Bill
lings when he said: If | was going to
mourn over Il dead mule | would stand
at his head and doc my weepin'.'
Wanny" happened to stand at the
other end of the animal, and now he
weeps some on his own account.
| don't think Russ Harrison drew
anything in the lottery on the 4tli o
November, unless it was ii long breath.
Blaine says that while he will wear
Grape on his hat out of respect for the
deceased, it is not his funeral by any
means. doubt very much that he will
run for the Presidency, as usual, in
1892. He. too, possibly may have read
the sage remark of Josh Billings: 81
never argy agin a success. When ]
sec a rattlesnaik's head sticking out Of
a hole I bear off to the left, and say tt
myself: that hole belongs to that
snaik."
If Harrison wants to gull the Demo,
cratic r~attlesnake out Il the Presiden-
tial hole he will be alloaed full latitude
by the plumed knight.
Verify, Dan, Harrison realizes how
much truth there are in the inspired
words of the Psalmist when he says:
Man goeth forth in the morning
warbling like u lark, and the day after
the undertaken has him in his ice box.
He putteth on his winter pants and
the wasp that abideth in them causes
him to lift up his voice and swear,
He stitch up all night to get the re-
turns, and when they are all in behold
the other Teller is elected. Verify, the
banister of political life is full of splin
tiers, and he that slideth down tindetl
it out. Yours for reform,
RTTI MORT