Morning journal and courier., 1890-01-14
SOLEMN.

The "witching hour of night" is the hour
in which we can't tell witch from t'other.-
Puck.
My son, don't fret over your trials. The
more plate of soup is stirred up the cooler
it becomes.-Boston Transcripts.
Blacksmith, to Apprentice. - Thunder,
man, don't beat that anvil so. Anybody
would think it was piano. Fliegende
Batter.
When a man gets old We speak of ''his
declining years." and yet he would not de-
cline few years if they were offered to him.
-Yonkers Statesman.
There is hope in the future for every man.
Even for the youth with pair of tight
shoes on there is tho blissful prospect of bed
time.-Merchant Traveller.
Teacher tafter reading aloud the story of
Jonah and the whale)-"And now, my little
men, can you tell me who fell into the sea"
The entire class to q man (interrupting)-
"McGinty y!"-Life.
Mrs. Bascom-''So poor Silas Stick is dead
I was afraid it wouldn't agree with him to GO
to college. What was the trouble with him do
You know2" Mrs. Backlot-"Yes, believe
they called it discussion of the brain. BUR-
linRton Free Press.
When the Novelty Wears Of.-"Hi, Will
kins! Come in and drain the flowing bowl to
the health of my first born-a bouncing boy"
"Well, that's quite coincidence. I've just
helped Grimsey drown his woe in the flowing
bowl-his eighth. another bov."-Life.
Young Mr.. Waldo (speaking of Mics
Wabash, who is at the piano)-Your friend
has very strong voice, Miss Breezy, though
sweet. Her lower notes show remarkable
depth of tone Miss Breezy "a rival BELIEF
Yes; Clara has fne voice for crying CLAIMS
up dark alley. Are you lawn tennising
any this summer, Mr.. Waido2-Epoch.
The record of death published in one of
the religious paper, says of the departed
brother: "For two years preceding his
death he was q constant reader of the -.
He was great sufferer, but grace sustained
him." The Congregationalist exclaims:
"How sad that he did not take to the read
ing of some other newspaper in time!"
shs-"Charlie, you know you promised
me something handsome on my birthday"
He-"Yes, I know" She-"Well. saw =
diamond breastpin yesterday in shop win
dow that was perfectly heavenly" He
Perfectly heavenly, was it! Say, Fanny,
don't you have any earthly wishesa Do you
think of nothing but heavenly thingsF'-
Texas Siftings.
Work Very Slack.-Mrs. Suburb Ito
tramp)-"You say you came from New
York. Why didn't You stay there, where
you are known, instead Of tramping through
the country" Tramp.-"Please. mum, I
can't get work at my trade" "That's very
strange. What ia your tradei" ''I'm q
builder of monuments to great men, num-"
New York Weekly.
An Excuse That Excused.-Miss Elder
"Why were you not at my birthday recep-
tion yesterday, Mr.. Smitherss Didn't you
receive your cardt" MIR. Smithers-"Ye
but mislaid It." Miss Elder-"But didn't
you remember the date?" Mr.. Smithers
without malice)-'I thought did until I
heard gentleman say that you were not
born yesterday."-Life.
Farewell, dearest" che sighed, as she lay
on the lapel of his double-breasted coat;
''and, George, you may kiss me once on my
forehead ere you 60"
"Thanks, Angelina, !" thoughtfully murmur-
ed the young man, "but the last time kissed
girl on her forehead I got bang in the
mouth" A moment later he left the house,
looking as it he had been eating marshmsl-
loWs-Harv0rd LamD Doon.