The Washington critic., 1890-05-15
1NTBRv1Ew1Na Bull NYE.
An Old Friend Who Didn't Know
How to Address Him,

an Olu Ir-enu VINO hnOW
How to Address Him.
From the Portland 0xgonian.
Bill Nye and the State arrived Sun
day night about the same time and put
up at the same dock. When Bill came
down the gang-plank picked him out
as nicely as top jack-straw. You can
tell him in a big crowd if you are
trifle careful what it is you want to tell
him. He he'd been to Paris, had
mingled with the catacombs and had
become dude since / last laid eyes on
him, and / feared he had become
changed man. l didn't know whether
to address him Hello, Billr Good
evening, Mr.. Nye," or "E. Wilson
Nye." tried all, except 'Bill," only
TO find he was rapidly emerging from
me and trying TO buy hack or two.
arose to the emergency and said "Billl'
in voice that made my vocal chords
twang. lie turned on me, and after
ensconcing the brilliant Ollie Torbeit
and her precious violin, we went up to
the hotel in dark ,complexioned hack
with blonde driver
The first thing which struck Nye
after the hackman had was our climate
| asked him what he thought of it.
II think GOOD deal Of it. II is the
only climate ] ever met where | can
soak my head without disrobing
"Oh, ! have always admired Mr..
Mackintosh's justly celebrated weather.
l like 1t first rate. Your fall of rain
takes the interest out of the fall of the
Roman Empire, draws attention away
from 1t so much that no one seems in
clined to get it on It's feet again. l
have roticed child here the first time
that he, she or it peeps over the brow
of the cradle asks what is the average
fallT On the other hand, I'm told that
your rain isn't wet at all, that when you
catch half barrel full, or barrel half
full, you have to pour in some water to
wet it. can understand it because
father had pump on the farm which
we had to dilute every morning.
How is Blonde? ] hear Blonde
has turned out rather fast, but that
don't lessen my aching interest, for you
must know we were boys and girls
together. And Blondes mother, how
is she? | took $50 worth of interest
in her once, and lost it. Please give
my regards to Blonde when you see
Her, and do not forget to tell Van not
to forget what have"
gave him my hearty assurance and
a hard look, and then sought 10 turn
his attention to something more in my
line.
What do you think of our High
School ?''
II think 1t is,' he replied.
That seemed to exhaust the subject,
and i endeavored to make a new tack
and nail his thoughts some more.
!" How do you stand the strain, Bill
the grind, you know"
i don't stand it, | fold it up and
lay 1t away sometimes. I eat with
either hand and try to behave myself
table d'hote, as it were. Back in Den
yer was invited to dine by the Secre-
tary of State, who is an old friend OF
mine OF fifteen years growth and in
good standing to day. 1t was under
stood that | was not to sing for my
supper, and on that basis I went.
Among those in the dining-room of the
hotel, and who kept her eyes on me as
though / was watched pot, was one
of Aronson's Company. She was a
low down high. kicker, as | afterwards
iSo hShs hC nCAt udy ouC Sttll w u
co.member. We had Bill Nye at din.
Der at our hotel last night and he WASH t
bit funny
Then | recollected that she didn't
act during the entire meal either, but |
excused her because the ceiling of the
dining room was only IS feet high. /
Try to make people happy, but when
they expect ,clergymen to pray when
not in the pulpit, lawyer to give one
of his addresses when there is no jury,
and an engine to squirt when there Is
no fire, want to go away from there
and seclude myself Do you think
Blondin's health is good or Indifferent?
Because If it's indifferent or in danger
I've got enough horse sense to regret
it"
assured Mr. Nye that Blonde was
in high feather, and left the great
humorist in happy mood and large
well furnished room.