davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1890-01-03
"Grounds" For Divorce.

People have laughed at the play in which
the silly wife. who was applying for a di-
vorce, stated to her attorney, that her mon
ster Of husband had called her goose"
She could not even show that he had quail
flied the term in any way; the only thing
she could charge him with was that he had
called her lust plain. simple goose" or
course, that was burlcsque, but it seems
seems that divorces are actually asked
upon fully as ilimsy charges as that OF call
ing woman goose. Some ludicrous
reasons for asking separation are given in
Commissioner Wright's report on marriage
and divorce. In one Of these defendant
made plaintiff climb n ladder 10 drive nails
in the woodshed; not liking the way she
drove the nails he lassoed her on coming
down from the ladder, tied her fast to the
gate post, then stuck sticks and straws in
her nose and ears, gouged his knuckles i'll
her eyes and said he wanted TO see if she
was Dutch On untving her he threw or
showed her into nest of bees, all of which
sorely grievcd the plaintiff in body and
mind
Such an experience Of the sweets of
welded life constrained her 10 ask Ia be
free.
This was i'll Mother application: DE
fcndant struck plaintiff a violent blow with
her hustle" She evidently thought he was
not struck on her shape and she deter
mined to try an improvement Np0n him.
My husband" complained another
suffering wife, would never cut his toe
nails and / was scratched very severely
every night, especially as he was very
restless Such combination of causes
ought to have secured her prompt "bill"
for her lacerated feelings and shins. Such
IL heartleSs rooster as that defendant,
should follow "McGinty to the bottom Of
the say, as he is only fit to live with mer
maids.
However. if all the married people with
either real or fancied grievances. should
apply for divorce, there would hardly be It
single married couple left.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1890-01-03
The Wolf, the Lynx, and the
Wildcat.

One day, the three animals named above
met in the forest, and the day being pleas
ant and all feeling good -natured the sub
ject of a more fraternal feeling among
them was soon introduced.
There is no earthly reason why We
should not even hunt in company and di-
vide the spoils," said the Wolf as he comb
ed his whiskers with burr
None at all said the Lynx. II go
in for Trust. or, at least, for Co-Opcra-
ton"
Gentlemen said the Wild Cat, II am
with you heart and hand in whatever you
do"
After considerable discussion it was de
cidcd TO go on hunt in company. They
soon came to the trail of Man, and while
the Wolf was for making pursuit the 9th
ers objected The next trail was that of
a hare and while the Cat and Lynx were
eager to pursue, the W off would not move.
i hus it went, until, as the three were fin
ally ready for a fight, the Wolf sat down
and said:
''Sec here, Gents-we have simply made
mistake While we belong to the same
species in a general way, our palates Were
built on different principle, and Nature
never intended us to hunt together; each
will go his way and please himself"
MORAL.
The hou seville won't admit there is any.
If one child likes Bean Soup all must eat
il or take licking.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1890-01-03
One OF HerSchel'S Problems.

In her "Reminiscences of the HersehelS"
III the Century Magazine, the late Prof
MaIia Mitchell says; "0ne of Sir John
Herschels numerical problems was this:
If, at the time Of Cheops, three thousand
years ago, one pair of human beings had
lived, and war, pestilence, and famine had
not existed, and only natural death came
to man, and this pair had doubled every
thirty years, and their children had dou-
bled, and SO on, how large would the pop
ulation of the world be at this time-could
they stand upon the earth as planet
'We wcrc sitting at the breakfast table
when he asked the question. We Thought
they could not. But if they stood closely
and Others stood on their shoulders, man,
woman and child, how many layers would
there be-, / said, Perhaps three How
many feet of mem he asked. Possibly
thirty | said. '0h, morer We'll, we'll
saw hundred '0h, morev Miss Her
schel said, Enough to reach TO the moon
TO the SUM-. More, morcv cried Sir John,
exulting in our astonishmcnt; bid higher
TO Neptune said one. Now you burn,
hc replied. Take hundred times the
distance Of Neptane, and IL rs rery near.
That is my way, said he, whitewasliing
war, pestilence, and famine.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1890-01-03
The Economics.

There are now but about thirty members
of the organization left in the quaint little
town of Economy, and they are well nd
vanced in years.
For long time the rule iorbidding the
marriage of members has been strictly en-
forced, and time has so reduced their mum
bcrs that the question of disposing of the
many millions of dollars of property which
the organization has accumulated, and of
perpetuating the society itself, is becoming
daily more important
At the opening of the coming year a
dozen new members will be admitted to
the society Several of these are married.
About the same time the proposition TO
raise the ban so long placed upOn the
marriage rite will be considered. 1t is
learned that majority of the present
members favor the idea, and it is likely the
change will be made.
The society lives in the town of Econ
omy on the banks of the Ohio, and has be-
come celebrated for the frugality of its
members, its enormous wealth, quaint
homes and good citizens. Jacob Henrici,
lis leading spirit, is white haired pa
triarchal man past SO years, When ques-
toned as to the proposed change. he said
that cclibacy was u part Of their religion;
and would remain SO.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1890-01-03
A Negro Mathematician.

sam Summers, the negro prodigy. was
in town recently, and, as usual. entertain
ed a large crowd, who were testing him
with all kinds of mathematical problems.
Summers Is a negro - years old, without
the slightest education. He cannot read
or write, and does not know one iiguro
from another He is a common farm hand.
and to look at him and watch his actions
he seems To he about hnlf-wiited. Int hi,,
quick and invariably correct answer to any
example in arithmetic, no matter how diff
ficult, is simply wonderful With the
hundreds of tests hat he was submitted
to, not a single time has he failed to give
the correct answer in every instance.
Some examples given him were As fol
laws: How much gold can be bought for
Multiply j97, ,3l2 by l3s If grain of
wheat produces seven grains, and these be
sown the second year, each yielding the
same increase. how many bushels viii be
produced at this rate III twelve years il
LOCO grains make pint' II the velocity
of sound is l, l42 feet per second, the pull
sation of the heart seventy per minute,
after seeing a flash of lightning there are
twenty pulSations counted before you hear
the thunder. what distance is the cloud
from the earth, and what is the time after
seeing the fash of lightning until you hear
the tlnnderf \ commission merchant
received seventy bags Of wheat, each con
tanning three bushels three peekS and
three quarts. How many bushels did he
receiver And So on.
With Eobinson's Ray 3 aud other higher
arithmetics before them, those who have
tested him as yet have been unable to find
any example that with few moments
thought on his part he is not able to cor
rectN answer LouScHlc Commercial
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1890-01-03
The Tuneful Maid.

There is a family living on Dnfield street
who have singing domestic--a hired girl
who washes the dishes to the tune of ''Sil
yer Hairs Among the Gold" and scrubs
the pantry with air of Johnnie Get Your
Gun" Her mistress has suggested to her
more if she sung less, and the neighbors
sent in a petition a yard long asking 10
have her removed but it didn't do a bit of
good. Sing she would, and sing she should
and did, until she met with her fate.
Yesterday afternoon she was sitting with
her back to the window cleaning the fami
ly silver and singing, with her voice away
up to concert pitch. There's Land that
is Fairer Than Day" when suddenly rich
baritone voice at the window took up the
refrain, ''In the sweet by -and-by" and con-
tinued to carry the air with her. She
wasn't going to sing in a strange Echoir in
that fashion and she turned To see who
the accompanist was. There stood q nice
looking strange young man.
Excuse me. MISS" he said, "but you
do sing so beautifully | could not help
stopping to listen. You are professional
musician presume. miss''
"Oh, no" simpered the girl. II only
sing to amusc myself
'Is it possible. Might trouble you for
drink of water, miss.
NO trouble at ALL said the girl, and
she went into the pantry for glass and
then to the ice-tank in the next room for
the water.
When she returned the singer was gone
So was the basket Of family silver. The
police have it in hand, but it is doubtful If
they see it again until the Sweet hy-and-
hv .
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1890-01-03

.TO9
Abe Skinned Him.


If can free this ease from technical
tics and get ii properly swung to the jury.
I'll win it," Abraham lincoln used To say,
when confident of the justice of the laase
lie represented. III was weak in defend
ing wrong cause. for he was mentally
ana morally too honest to explain away
the bad points ol - cause by ingenious
Sophistfy.
Instead ni attempting la bolster up such
n cause. he abandoned it. Once he aban-
joncd case in open court. being con-
yinecd that il was unjust. \ less fastidi
ouS lawyer took Mr. Linooln's place and
won the case.
Mr. Herndon, in his Life of Lincoln
tells story which exhibits his ability in
getting a case he believed in properly
swung to the jury"
4 pension agent, named Wright. secured
foT the widow Of a Revolutionary soldier
pension of $i0o of which sun, he retained
one-hali as his fee. The pensioner, Grip
Piled old woman. hobblcd into Lincoln's
Office and told her story. 1t stirred Lincoln
up; he brought spit against the agent and
on the day 81 the trial he said;
81 am going to skin Wright. and get
that money back
He did so The old woman told her
story to the jury. Lincoln in his plea drew
picture of the hardships of Valley Forge.
described the soldiers as creeping bare
footed over the ice. and marking their
tracks by their bleeding feet. Then he
contrasted the hardship OF the soldiers en-
dured for their country with the hardened
action of the agent in feecing the old
woman of one half of her pension.
lie was merciless; the members of the
jury were in tears, and the agent writhed
in his seat under the castigation Of Lam
coins denuneiation. The jury returned a
verdict in her favor for the full amount, and
Lincoln made no charge for his services.
His notes for the argument were unique:
NO eontract.-Not professional ser
yiees.--U Unreasonable ehargc.-Money re
tanned By Dc't not given by Prh'-R Revo
lutionary War.-Describc Valley Forge
privatious.-Ic Soldiers bleeding feet
Plf's husband. - Soldier leaving for
arlnv-Skin Def't-Clase"
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1890-01-03
The Best Chocolate.

\ Senator's wife who is said to serve the
best chocolate in Washington gave the fol-
lowing recipe to Miss Edith ingalls,: Three
quarters of cake of chocolate, one quart
of cold water, one quart of sweet, rich
milk; sugar to taste. Crate or scrapc the
chocolate and mix with the water thor
oughly and smoothly; then sweeten and
allow to boil until it is quite a thick paste
Boil the milk separately and stir it into the
chocolate mixture and cook a few minutes
longer.
After all there is vast amount of
comfort to be taken ont of growing old
when one has passed the point of desiring
to do foolish things.
-Barnum has spent 5000, 900 for adyer
tising i'll London, hence his success
Here's hint to the merchant who doesn't
advertise.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1890-01-03
A Moral Lesson in il.


1t was agreed by everybody in the ear
that she was the homliest woman they
ever saw, and the man III the seat with her
probably noticed the sly slances and heard
some of the whispered exclamations- He
became restless and uneasy. and by and lay
of drummers sat, and said
Boys, she's my Wife"
''Yes" responded one.
II allow that she's homely 'nuff to scare
hungry bear out of hog pen but its all
my fault"
Indeed
'.And I'll tell You the story, because
there is a great moral in it We was en-
gagged to be married. / took her into Syr
aeuse to Fourth of July. There she met
Bill Prime, an old bean of hers, and To
make jealous, as some gals will, you know
she agreed to ride home with him. 1t hit
me hard, as you may believe, and so
went ont to the stable and drove tacks in
to Bills harness When they came to
start ont the horse ran away. Bill jumped
out and didn't get scratch, but Mary
stayed in till the buggy struck bridge
and was smashed mp. She lost twelve
teeth, had her nose broken her month
torn out at the corner, an eye cooked up,
her toes turned in, her tongue bit half in
two, and the color of her hair changed 10
the brindle you now see before you.'
I've see tho lesson"
Not yit, you don't That came III when
| tried to give her the shake and crawl out
of the marriage. Her old dad put on the
screws, and had To come to time or lose
my farm, and so | walked chalk. The
g.eat moral lesson is never get mad at
your best gal. If you do get mad don't
make fule of yourself. That's all, boys,
and ! hope the warning will sink deep into
yer hearts"
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1890-01-03

M Others and nurses should always re-
member that disappointment never attends
the use of DIR. Bulls Baby Syrup. Price
only - cents bottle.
The close sympathy existing between
the stomach and the brain is noticeably
exhibited in the headache resulting from
indigestion. Laxador always cures head
ache, when caused by Indigestion.
Don't growl at this world until You are
sure of better one.
Everything that is nice in this world
grows on the other side Of barbcd wire
fence.
The devil IL credited with great deal
of mise hief that the stomach is guilty of
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1890-01-03
An uuruIy stomach is not to be tanned

An unrulv stomach is not to be tanned
with lectures.
1t dscourages young mustacho Ia
be called down.
1t takes a good deal Of sand TO perpe-
trate some sugar frauds.
The girl who has the strongest will is
the girl who says the strongest won't
The reason why Eve ate the apple was
probably because she wanted 10 get some
clothes.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1890-01-03

The Virginia Legislature is wrestling
with a bill to permit women to practise
law. Just as if she didn't lay down the
law every day and practice it
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1890-01-03

A Fresno, Cal, woman threw cellu.
loid cuff in the stove. Her husband will
haye to pay $3.50 to repair damage done TO
the kitchen and to &c. new stove.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1890-01-03
w. c. FINDLEY,

Attorney at Law. onlce at No. II, East JeGer-
son St. Butler, Pa,
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1890-01-03
PROFESSIONAL CARDS.
j. w. nUTCHTSON,

ATTORNEY AT LAW.
Office on second floor Of the fIuseitGn block,
Diamond, Butler. Pa. Room No. /.
4 2. sCJIr. !. T. "ii-oS.
SCOTT & WILSON,
.tIToRNEIs-AT-LAW.
Collections a speciality. Oniee at No. s, South
Diamond. Butler. ia.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1890-01-03

Attorney at Law and Real Estate Agent. OF
tice rear OF l.. T. Mitchells office on north side
of Diamond, Butler, Ia.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1890-01-03
II, III, GOUCHER.

Attorney-at-law. ONCE on second EoOr ol
Anderson building, near Court House, Butler.
Pa.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1890-01-03
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
Ira McIUNKIN.

Office on second floor OF New Anderson Block
Main St..-near Diamond.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1890-01-03
p. w. LOWRY,
A. z. RUSSELL,

Room No. 3. Anderson Building. Butler, Pa.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1890-01-03
j. +. BRITAIN.

Atty at Law-Onlce at 5. Z. Cor. Main ST, and
Diamond, Butler Pa.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1890-01-03

The hou seville won't admit there is any.
If one child likes Bean Soup all must eat
it or take licking.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1890-01-03

We would rather
sell a thousand GUS
toners what they
ought to wear than
ten thousand and
get their ill-will.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1890-03-06
PANIC IN A RAILWAY CAR.
Two Gamblers Engage in a Bloody Shoot
ing Array.


st. Louis (Mo) dispatch: Mark A.
Barren, Chicago gambler, was shot and
dangerously wounded by Charles Hat
e-li-s- -u--I~-s>..- Nv on an Iron
Mountain train near Dexter, Mo. Barren
and companion, George Jones; also OF
Chicago, had engaged In O game OF poker
with Hatfield and travelling man
named Keller.
1t was ''skin" game, and Hatfield,
who looked like farmer, caught the
idea after losing about S7OO,
and started for Barren with an
ugly-looking revolver in his hand.
He first struck Barren with the weapon,
then shot him I'm the wrist and right
breast, inficting ugly and possibly fatal
wounds There was wild scene on the
train. Women screamed and tainted
and men lodged behind seats until all
the shooting was over
without word Hatfield turned when
his revolver was emptied and coolly
walked into the next car. Barren was
carried to Poplar Bluff and when he
reached there was unconscious from loss
of blood. No effort was made to catch
Hatfield. who left the train before
it reached Poplar Bluff, it being
evident that he was not to blame
There was some talk of an old grudgC
between the men about woman, but
Jones, who was "playing In" with Barren
admits that he and Barren were fleeing
Hatfield and Keller with marked cards
Yesterday Barren was taken from Poplar
Bluff to Hot Springs, Ark, In a pre-
carlous condition. Jones passed through
| ST. Louis last night en- route for Chi
cago. He says he does not like Arkan
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1890-03-06
su,v stories Denied.

City Of Mexico dispatch; The state
ments made by several California news
papers to the effect that the Mexican
delegates to the Pan-American Congress
are endeavoring to create an impression
that the United States covets portion
of Mexican territory are denied in Off
cIal circles here, and IL is asserted
that Minister Romero and General Me-
dia, Mexican representatives In the
Congress, both able statesmen, are ami
mated with the most friendly feelings
toward the United States, and desire
the continuance of harmonious rela-
tions between all-American Govern
mautS
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1890-03-06

THE Germans have been the pioneers
in scientific forestry, as in so many
other lines of progress. With total
forest area of only "a, ,346, 900 acres, of
which IL, 243,000 acres belong TO the
state, The German Empire now has no
less than nine schools of forestry, and
during the three years ending with
1888 il published 1T books on the vari-
-ous branches of the subject. There are
also ten periodicals devoted.to forestry,
and general association of foresters,
with annual meetings, and ten local
societies.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1890-03-06
Religions sayings.

DR.. Osborn is the oldest monber OF
the Wesleyan Methodist conference.-the
entered the ministry in 1928.
The collections for the board Of edu-
cation OF the Methodist Episcopal church
during the last year were 80 per cent In
advance OF these taken In 1883.
Mohammedanism in Turkey is evil
IDENTIFY declining. The multiplication Of
mosques has almost ceased. Only one
new one has been erected In ConstantI-
nople--one for the private use OF the
sultan.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1890-03-06
To succeed .Jasper ID. ryne.

London cable: The election to fill
the vacancy in the House OF Commons
for the west division OF Waterford, caus.
ed by tho mysterious disappearance OF
Jasper ID. Pyne, home ruler, resulted IN
the return of Mr.. Alfred Webb. Mr..
Webb had no opposition. Mr.. Pync was
also returned without opposition, at the
last preceding election.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1890-03-06
cnmmndore Whlte Dead.

Washington dispatch: Commodore
George b. White, Chief OF the Bureau
OF Yards and Docks, in the Navy De-
partment, died suddenly at his home
here OF an attack Of apoplexy. He was
regarded as one OF the most efficient OFF,
GERS I'm the service.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1890-03-06

CHARLES II. GRANT, OF West Andover.
Mass, was found dead in a tumble-down
house he had occupied. He had been
twice I'm the insane asylum. and his
property, with $40, 900, was In the hands
of the selectman OF the town.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1890-03-06
In Freezeont Arizona.

Stranger-Here, where are you run
ming to in such hurry
Citizen-Don't stop me. Pm the
coroner and / must attend to some very
;mportant business. There's going to
be an inquest in few minutes.
Stranger--Anybody killed?
Citizen Not yot, but Yaller Bill has
been tellin' some OF the boys that Three
Fingered Mike was no gent, and some
one run and told Mike. Come along
and I'll get you job on the jury
America.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1890-03-06

DRrNR, and the world drinks with
Won: swear off and you swear alone, or
laugh and the world laughs with you;
weep and you weep alone.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1890-03-06

THE opportunities for an ambitious
Young man to acquire q fortune are
rapidly passing away. The extrsdi-
ton treaty will probably be ratiiied.-
American Commercial TTdUeller.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1890-03-06

THE biblical foolish virgins had no
oil. but to-day they come to grief from
a superfluous amount of the article IN
the Kitchen stove.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1890-03-06

~~>~~-00<>~N~NrNc~o~o~N~
NJ. II. CHURCH-Rev G. Il. Hill, Pastor.
Services at 10 80 o'clock am. and 7'5 IN. sun-
day school at II m. Prayer meeting every
Thursday evening at ia o'clock. All are COR
daily invited tc attend.
CRAWLING LODGE, No. s5s. n a A. NJ,
meets in regular communication ON Thursday
evening on CT before the fdll OF the moon
Transient members are fraternaly invited Y
attend. FF. THATCHER w. M.
A. ID. RoBEEr, secretary.
MARVIN POST, No. 24O, g. A. r., meets the
second Saturday and fourth Friday in each
month. A. J. ROSE Post Commander.
j. G. HANSON, Adjutant.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1890-03-06

CoNTENTMENT is the great secret OF
"a green old age" Worry and fret
will make one old and wrihkled before
his time,
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1890-03-06

Next lesson-"The Draught Of Fishes
Luke 8; ILL.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1890-03-06

An Interesting Summary of tho More I'M
portant Doings of Our Neighbors-Wed-
dings and Deaths - Crimes, Casualties
and General News Notes.