Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1890-01-18
Saturday Smiles,

When the sun comes out these days. the
daughters are certain to follow HsGuTg
Chronicle.
The real estate man wants the earth, and
usually has some ground for such desire
hedrney Enterprise.
The man who picks up wire on the street
Is quite likely to get hold of something that
Will cure him OF the grlp.-ScrdntOn Truth.
The ladies of Boston wear no jewelry but
peeiacles.-Lou,sr COurter-JOau'ndi.
Miss Magumpy, will you be my wife2"
No, Mr.. Hennepin. But I'll be sister to
you"
Thank you, Miss Magumpy, but III not
trouble you. I'm for the League, not the
brotherhood "-Neac York Sun.
P"pa-.lf have to speak to you again I'll
whip you"
The Terror-'Say, papa, what did you have
little boy for if you can't get along any bet
ter with him than you do?'-Ph.ludelphia In
qUtrer.
A correspondent, who thinks there is moth
ing new under the sun, says: Adam had the
grip. AT least Milton says so-"Paradise Lost"
Book XII:
for Adam at the news
Heart-struck with ctiIinp gripe"
Philadelphia Ledger.
Long-felt Want-Candidate-"You are a
working man. are you not?'
Norklngman--''I am SIT"
Candldate-''Wen, l am a candidate for a
position OF trust, and wish to say to the sons
OF toll"
Nottingham (who is tired of taffy and dis
gusted with its resuIts)-'I am very busy
now, sir"
Candidate-'I was merely going to say that
that If elected l shan't do any more for the
WorhlnSmrn than for anybody else, because 1
dun care continental for one class more than
another, and don't think there should be any
Class IN legislation, anyhow"
"orkingman (grasping his hand)-"Youll
get my vote."-Ae,c York Weekly.
Both Suited -Workingman-..Give me work
ana do not care for the rest o; the world"
Iramp-.Well. give me rest and don't care
Tor the work of the world. "-Tme.
1t is said that former Sandy Hill pastor il
anxious to interview the sacrilegious Joker who
led him Innocently to pray for the repose of the
soul OF Daniel McGlnty at the altar of Troy
church reeently.-A6a11y Argus.
Il hear Harrison won't invite Reed and Rusk
to the White house at the same time"
why nOt?''
They say he's afraid the prohibitionists
would Jump on him for having Tom and Jerry
at White House reception. York Sus,.
We cannot always approve the arguments
which are used to get people to join the church.
FOR instance. here is one we heard the other
day: Livery unmarried man ought to Join the
church. for there Is no telling how soon he will
want tine church to join him. - Buri ,.gton Free
Press
Willie is a very observant youth. He seemed
to prefer smaller boys for companions and
when asked why. replied: We'll, / notice the
bigger boys play with me. but don't play with
them. | want somebody l can play with"
There IS certainly very fine distinction here
HIfPer's Young People.
CandIdate-''I may not get nv Office, but I'm
getting some benefit in a moral way"
COngressman-''How's that?"
Candidate-"Iin getting a very good idea of
eternity.'-Nelc York Herald
Young Medical Student Ito his sweetheart
DO you know. Julia. that the human heart is
equal to the lifting Of 100 pounds every twenty
four hours."
Julia (denlurely)--"well, that's Just my
weight Grand Rapids To,cn Ne,cs
Put away your parasoI.
SCI your rubber shoes aside,
Shake out yOIr se-ISkin coats
AUD get ready Tor the glide"
Old wi ter may DE tardy,
And look lite tame,
BaI the chances are you II find
4 hat he gets ns-e-just the same
-AUO1 tiHI >f'ts tst- DEN 0c.ai.
Must be New-Old Lady from the countrv,
I'D like 10 git pair o. shoes. young man"
Polite Cierk.-''Yes, ma'am Something
pretty nice. ma amp"
Old Lady want 'em good n stout
Polite Clerk.-"Weil. ma am, here's a strong
shoe, an excellent strong shoe. 1t has been
worn great deal this winter"
Old Lady-"Man alive. don't want no shoe
| that's been worn this winter nor any other
winter want a bran new PARTRIDGE.
->S~-
The Philosophy Of 1t.
From Life
Miss Bieecker-'.You English have some alb
surd customs. Now there's no justice and no
sense-no rhyme and no reason--in primogeni-