Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1890-09-27
THE ARIZONA KICKER.
Gems of Territory Tho nght by Way OF
The Detroit Ere o Press.

L
Gems of Territory Tho nght by Way OF
The Detroit Free Press.
| We extract the folio wing from the
last issue of The Arizona Kicker:
THEY Cor LEFT -Fe sling the need of
few days rest from brain work we
hied ourselves to Jim's peak last week,
| to remain about ten days. Soon after
supper stranger Apr oached us and
gave us hint that the boys were plan
ming a serenade, and that we had better
have a speech ready.
In this western country some words
have a double meaning. A ''serenade'
| may mean sweet, soft music by the
band, with call from a lot of jolly good
fellows, or it may mean a visit from the
gang who are provided with a rope, but
no music. In order to be ON the safe
side we took up temporary home in a
thicket, and from thence discovered that
this was to be rope serenade. Some of
the boys from Johnson's ranch had de-
termined to lynch us as a great moral
warning, but while they were hunting
for us around the hotel we were mean
dering through the jack pines and mid
| night darkness to safer quarterS
In one sense we don't blame the boys
so much. An occasional hanging adds
Zest and gustO to this western life, and
it is very rare that the victims friends
can claim that any mistake was made.
In another sense the boys are to be
blamed for their lack of taste. We have
it on good authority that they meant to
hang us with an old mule chain There
were thirty of them in the crowd We
| make no boasts, but let our readers
watch for developments. Well have
sheriffs and detectives here after at least
thirty-one of them before the week is
out, and then we shall borrow shot
gun and go on hunt after the odd one.
SOLD AGAIN.-Our esteemed contem-
porary has made another dismal failure.
On Monday he came out in double
loaded two column article on the Whar-
ton shooting case, and tried his best to
prove that we had an active hand in it
and were responsible for Judge John
sons death. At the coroners inquest.
held on that same afternoon, Mai Bliss
testified:
81 was sitting at table in the Red
Cross saloon with the editor of The
Kicker. We were there to talk over the
Mckinley bill and to take the initiatcry
steps toward establishing another Sun
day school. Judge johnson came in.
He was pretty drunk. He saw Bob
Wharton at table beyond us and
pulled his gun. The editor OF The Kicker
kindly asked him to put it up, and Of
fered him n years subscription to the
paper to go home and take a nap The
Judge refused and pressed forward to
get shot Next moment Wharton
dropped him."
This was the truth and the whole
truth, and yet our jealous pated con-
temporary, hoping he had hold on us.
tried his hardest to make cut that but
for us there would have been no shoot
ing. We used to refer TO him as tooth
less, knock kneed, bow legged, lop cared,
hump backed, white hvered cross eyed
and so on. We have "a mortgage on his
whole outfit and we used to threaten TO
foreclOse on it. We used to meet him
on the street and scare him into kneel-
ing down and begging our pardon. We
nv" ASb MIN nav Q JiS ONH way. SOME
day we will bury him in our private
graveyard-some day when he has tired
us completely out.
THEY ARE WRONG.-Those of our cit
liens who are asserting THAI our late
trouble with the postmaster was caused
! by jealousy of his place on our part are
doing us grave injustice. True, we
were a candidate for postmaster, and
true also we are a mighty sight better
man for the place than the present in
cumbent, but we are not jealous.
The trouble began as soon a. this man
entered the postoffice. He held back our
mail and made us weary in many other
ways. We pounded him half to death
one day and for two months he was
model postmaster. Then he got sassy
and shot at us, and we left the bullet in
his shoulder. That lasted him until the
other day. He then got on his ear and
tried to prick us with bowie knife, and
in sheer self defense we shot off a part
of his left ear and banged him with the
butt of the revolver 1t was in the in
terest of the whole public. He'll be on
deck in week, and for the next three
months he'll work like steer and be as
pleasant as peaches Detroit Free Press.