davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Brenham weekly banner. [volume] (Brenham, Tex.) 1877-1907, 1890-11-06
HE WASN'T QUITE READY.
A Man Who Couldn't DIN the Fold Until
He Had Whipped Abe Bender.

A Man Who Couldn't Join the Fold Until
He Had Whipped Abe Bender.
During a revival the minister motto
ing that a young man named Hank
Boyd had begun to sink down under
apparent conviction, approached him
and asked, How do you feelF'
"Oh, middlin'."
Don't you feel that your life has
been sinful, and that it is time to turn
from the certain destruction that awaits
you?"
'Yas, middlin'."
We'll, won't you come up now and
kneel down ut the altar2"
mo, Idon't believe will right now. :"
But now is the accepted time. How
much danger do you suppose your soul
is in this very minutes"
''Middlin' danger, l reckon"
Come with me, the preacher urged,
taking hold of his arm.
NO, not right now-Tll see you after
awhile"
DO not let anything stand between
you and the cross, my dear boy"
won't eff kin hep it."
well, then, come along with me-"
No, not right now"
Don't you know that it is danger
Gus to waltz"
'sYes-reckon thars middlin' lot of
danger in ii"
Then for heavens sake come"
mo, KANT till do one thing. I've
got ter whup Abe Bender befo' kere
to profess religion. After that's done
I'll be on the Lords side"
"Oh, you must not think of whip
ping him"
KANT hep it when he has done me
so mean"
what did he do"
A'Wall, 1 war away from home luther
day-of on the country road ten mile
from house, an wanted a chaw ter
hacker wusn-a houn' pup ever wanted
hunk O. liver, an 1 war powerful nigh
dead and war slobberin' like hoss
eatin' white clover. Just then I met
Abe. l axed him for a chaw, an he
grinned at me, a shown a mouthful OF
long green, but lowed he wouldn't
give me none. war too weak to whup
him then, but I'm pearter now, an
think kin fetch him, an after have
tried wy I'd come into yo' flock.
Ny son." said the preacher, as he
bit off chew of long green, Il don't
blame you, and more tl@n that. I'll
help you whale him. Exchange.
Brenham weekly banner. [volume] (Brenham, Tex.) 1877-1907, 1890-11-06
naron neth.ehlla yrlthors . Boo.

A good story is told of Baron RotEs-
child, Of Paris, who, as is well known,
possesses almost fabulous wealth. Hav-
ing occasion to enter an omnibus In
ct Of abstraction he was about going
away, without paying. The driver
stopped him and demanded his fare
Rothschild felt in his pocket, but he
had not u copper in change. The
driver was very wroth.
well, what did You get in for if you
could not pay9 You must have known
that you had no money"
81 am Baron Rothschild, y exclaimed
the great capitalist, ''and here Is my
card
The driver threw the card into the
gutter.
Never heard of you before" said
the driver, land I don't want to hear
OF you again But 1 want my fare
and I must have it."
The great banker was in haste.
II have only an order for a million"
he said; ''give me changes" and be
profered coupon for so, 900 francs
The conductor stared, and the pas
sengers set up a hoarse laugh Just
then friend passed by, and the baron
borrowed of him the necessary SOUS.
thus releasing himself from most IN
pleasant predicament.-Lond Tit
Bits.
Brenham weekly banner. [volume] (Brenham, Tex.) 1877-1907, 1890-11-06
Won. bu. Los. the Prszs.

There was a swimming race between
four boys in sheepshead Bay one day.
A new suit Of clothes was the first prize
and new hat the second The dis
lance to be trayersed Was probably 100
yards, from point opposite the Little
summer hotel of the donor of the
prizes to float out in the bay, the
swimmer first reaching the float to be
declared the winner
The boys were given a flying start
from the shore, and they rushed into
the water with a tremendous splash
When it came to swimming the people
on the shore soon perceived that 1.-THE
little fellow, with very red hair, was
winning in hollow style. He outclessed
all the others, and soon had wide gap
Of daylight between himself and his
nearest competitor Still he continued
to gain, and finally reached and climbed
upon the float with an e1ultant cry.
No other boy was at that moment
anywhere near" him.
But although he finished first he did
not win prize, for when the second
swimmer came up he shouted to the
referee, who stood on the float:
Don't give dat red headed Teller de
prize, cause he didn't win fair. Look
at his hands"
The referee looked, and saw that the
boy was wearing pair of flesh colored
rubber gloves webbed between the fin
gers and thumbs, an ingenious device,
giving the swimmer much added power
to his stroke. The referee gave the
prizes to the boys who finished in sec
ond and third places. York Her
| AID
Brenham weekly banner. [volume] (Brenham, Tex.) 1877-1907, 1890-11-06
Preferred a Small Audience.

In the spring Of 1875 the common
council of Chicago issued an order for
an election for city officers under the
new city charter, which order contained
no reference to the Office Of mayor.
There was great dissatisfaction with
Mayor Calvin, who was holding over,
and mass meeting was called at the
Exposition building, which was adver-
tised to be addressed by many promi-
nent citizens, including the two emil
nent attorneys, both since deceased,
Leonard SWEET and Emory A. Storrs.
The former delivered stirring speech
in favor Of nominating candidate for
mayor, but the latter, who doubted the
legality of the proposed election, and
whose Judgment the courts subsequent
" sustained, did not put in an appear
ance. The next morning the two gem
tlemen met in the street.
"Storrs." said SWEET, with one of his
well remembered frowns, "why didn't
you come around last night 1t was
a great meeting. Fully 10000 were
there"
SWEET" replied the little lawyer,
lowering his voice and assuming tone
at once impressive and confidential,
"when I definitely determine that I've
got to make an ass Of myself I select as
quiet place and as small an audience
as can find. n-Pittsburg Dispatch.
Brenham weekly banner. [volume] (Brenham, Tex.) 1877-1907, 1890-11-06
A Ready Reason.

Julian Ralph tells story of an En-
glishman's trial for wife beating. His
wife was in court with her eye bound
up in a bandage very much stained
with blood The magistrate was very
stern in his speech to the wife beaten.
With fine effect of well chosen words,
and with scorn and loathing in his
tone, he asked the wretch how he
could strike woman, and that woman
the one he had sworn to protect. The
manner in which the man received
this was ludicrous. He listened to the
court with panied surprise. why.
your ludship," said he, 'Tve lived with
that woman fifteen year. and this is
the first time I've drawed blood on
her" The magistrate had a strong
sense of humor, and win tell that story
many a year, but on the bench he
heard the retort with apparent grave
dispIeasure.-San Francisco Argonaut.
Brenham weekly banner. [volume] (Brenham, Tex.) 1877-1907, 1890-11-06
Disappearance of the Dwarrs.


Human malice finished at last by
growing weary of the Alpine dwarfs.
One day an Oberlander had the wicked
idea of cutting in two the branches
of the tree where they were perehed,
so that they fell down pell nell, and
from that day dwarfs disappeared.
Others say that the mountaineers
pushed their infamy so far as to heat
the rocks on which the little creatures
placed their feet, and others again af-
firm that indiscreet curiosity was the
cause of their hasty fight.
1t was said that under the great cloak
they always wore they concealed the
fact that their feet were like those of
geese and ducks. One day as they
were going to gather cherries for a
peasant out Of pure complaisance he
bestrewed cinders all around, with the
sole object of seeing whether they were
webfooted. The genii perceived the
trap. deca!nped. and since then have
been secl no more. At the foot of the
Wetterhorn | was shown a subterra-
mean cavern which used to serve these
dwarfs as a dwelling place. Henry
Haynie in Chicago Herald.
Brenham weekly banner. [volume] (Brenham, Tex.) 1877-1907, 1890-11-06
Chemicals for Household Csc.

1t is surprising, considering how
many women have been instructed in
chemistry in their school days, to find
how few housekeepers make any use of
chemicals in various household proc
esses. The washing of clothes is usu.
ally wholly accomplished by rubbing
the clothes on the washboard, and
with no other detergent than soap.
The rubbing of the clothes wears them
out far more than use, and If houskeep-
ers only knew, or if knowing they
would take advantage of the fact, that
many washing compounds will almost
entirely cleanse clothes which are soak
ed in them over night, and thus almost
entirely do away with the labor and
wear of the dashboard, wash day
might be robbed of half its terrors.
Receipts for washing fluids, the prin-
cipal ingredients of which are soda ash,
ammonia and lime, can be found in
nearly every household receipt book,
and are very cheap and harmless. All
such washing compounds are useful
and convenient for cleaning woodwork,
paints and carpets in a house, also in
washing dishes and securing that desid-
eratum of housekeepers-clean dish
cloths. Ammonia is simple, cheap
and harmless chemical that should be
bought by the quart and kept in every
family. Journal
Brenham weekly banner. [volume] (Brenham, Tex.) 1877-1907, 1890-11-06

Nearly all peoples have represented
the fire from the sky by an arm, some
times also by a bird of strong and rapid
fight. 1t was symboiZed among the
Chaldeans by trident. Cylinders 60
ing back to the most ancient ages Of
Chaldean art exhibit water jet gush-
ing from trident which is held by the
God of the sky or of the storm.
The Assyrian artist who first. on the
bas-reliefs of Nimroud or Malthai,
doubled the trident or transformed it
into a triHd fascicle, docile to the re-
finements and elegencies of classic art,
by that means secured for the ancient
Mesopotamian symbol the advantage
over all the other representations OF
thunder with which it could compete.
The Greeks, like the other Indo- Eu-
ropean nations, seem to have represent
ed the storm fire under the features OF
a bird of prey. When they received
the Asiatic figure of the thunderbolt
they put it in the eagles claws and
made it the scepter Of Zeus, explaining
the combination, after their habit, by
the story of the eagle bringing thunder
to Zeus when he was preparing for the
war against the Titans.
Latin Italy transmitted the thunder
bolt to Gaul, where, in the last centu-
ries of paganism, it alternated, on the
Gallo Roman monuments, with the two
headed hammer It is also found on
amulets of Germany, Scandinavia and
Brittany. In the east it penetrated to
India, following Alexander. where it
is found competing with other symbols
having the same signifcance-Count
d'A1viella in Popular Science.
Brenham weekly banner. [volume] (Brenham, Tex.) 1877-1907, 1890-11-06
A Dog That Can Count.

Ruff Lester comes to the front with
the smartest dog named-one that can
count. 1t has been the custom with
the cook for the family to make old
Wade Chats the dogs nance catch the
chickens-three in number-each day
for the table. The other day it was
decided that two chickens would be
sufficient for that day, and when the
dog had caught that number the cook
took them in. When she reached the
kitchen Wade was not far behind her
with another fowl in his mouth, max
ing the number that he had been ac-
customed to catch each day. And so
It is that Ruiz claims that his dog can
count.-Oglethorpe (Ga-) Echo.
Brenham weekly banner. [volume] (Brenham, Tex.) 1877-1907, 1890-11-06
washington,s Old Home.

1t may not be generally known that
the Mount Vernon estate, Washington's
old home, was purchased by the women
of the United States, who made yolun-
tery contributions for the purpose. A
vice regent is chosen from each state,
forming an association for the manage
ment of the property. The income de-
rived from admission fees of visitors
keeps the place in fine condition. Sir
Julian Pauncefote. acting for the
Prince Of Wales, lately planted an
English oak tree before Washington's
tomb, in place of that planted by this
prince thirty years ago.-New York
Ledger.
Brenham weekly banner. [volume] (Brenham, Tex.) 1877-1907, 1890-11-06
"I:..r,I Int Bu,.

An amusing III cident occurred on the
Philadelphia of Clifton. S L.. one day.
A German bark, anchored near by,
tripped her anchor and floated down
upon the war ship. Board that
bark" shouted the officer of the deck.
Never was an order obeyed with greater
alacrity. All hands went over the rail
Like so many streaks. In an instant
the bark's yards were alive with blue
jackets, sail was set to royals, and
away went the German TO a clear an
chorage. The skipper was very much
frightened at first, but very grateful
when he realized the work done by his
suddenly reinforced crew.-Philadel-
phia Record.
Brenham weekly banner. [volume] (Brenham, Tex.) 1877-1907, 1890-11-06
Hsrs,, = Use for Your Old Gloves.

nero 5 - Ooe AOuf Nlu
ssKid glove and bead work" seems to
answer the question, what shall We
do with our old evening gloves2' Long
evening gloves are generally in pale
tints, and are not wearable for daytime
festivities. Now, the long wrists may
be cut in strips, aud contrasting or har-
monious tints, such as primrose on
mauve. or tan color and lemon, or pale
gray and white are joined together, and
the joining covered with beads-gold,
silver, steel, crystal, or bright colored
beads of varied sizes. Spangles, too,
may be sparingly used with good effect.
The beads must be sewn on securely,
and strong purse silk is best for this
purpose.
When a sufficient number of strips
have been Joined border may be ar
ranged of squares diagonally put to-
gether, or disks joined with bead net
work; the finishing fringe should be
netted at the top. A bright idea was
that of debutante who used her first
seasons gloves in the making of tobacco
bags, which she presented to her most
attentive first season beaux. Another
rosebud, whose old fashioned writing
desk contains many shelves and pigeon
holes, has made from the gloves worn
at parties curtain in alternating four
inch wide stripes of tan color and
cream, Joined with gold and silver
beads; on each of the stripes she
sketched, in sepia, date and a device.
This curtain she hung in front of the
obnoxious pigeonholes from an oxidized
silver rod. Work bags, photograph
cases and frames, book covers, opera
glass bags and small table covers are
among the useful articles for which this
work will serve; handkerchief and glove
cases of pale gray and tan, joined with
cut steel beads and lined with pale pink
satin, are exceedingly dainty souvenirs.
New York Sun.
Brenham weekly banner. [volume] (Brenham, Tex.) 1877-1907, 1890-11-06
Origin Of q Call.

When the western farmer goes out to
call his pigs-in that part of the coun-
try the animals sometimes wander a
long way from home-he generally is
not content with calling ''Pigl pigp-
a sound which could not be heard very
far-but develops it into shout by
pronouncing it ''Poo-ig! poo-ig." The
necessity of producing a sound that
will carry" seems to explain this; but
one of The Boston transcripts CORE
spondents says that ''poo-ig" is derived
from ''poor pig" and that he has often
heard the call pronounced in that way,
Brenham weekly banner. [volume] (Brenham, Tex.) 1877-1907, 1890-11-06
COIluloid Eyes.

Ceiiuloid artificial eyes are cheaper
than those Of glass, and have a good
appearance; but DR.. Meurer, Of Lyons,
states that after three or four months
they are liable to cause serious irrita-
ton, probably as the result Of some
chemical change. He has repeatedly
seen this inflammation allayed by SIM
pie antiseptic treatment after the re-
moval of the celluloid, reappearing,
however, as soon as the old eye was
put in again, but remaining absent if a
glass eye was substituted.-New Or.
leans Picayune
Brenham weekly banner. [volume] (Brenham, Tex.) 1877-1907, 1890-11-06
A Finger Worth se. 500.

There was a case in Kings county
where verdict for s., 900 was recov-
cred by Charles J. Paterson for tho loss
of girls forefinger of the right hand.
Judge Bartlett refused to set the YER
dict aside, and the case was finally set
tied on payment of $500 by the de-
PENDANT, the Phoenix Mills, OF Brook
iyn, where the girl worked. The fin
ger was caught in the machinery of the
mill.-Interview in New York Sun.
Brenham weekly banner. [volume] (Brenham, Tex.) 1877-1907, 1890-11-06
A Snake Was Her Bedfellow.

Mrs. Sarah Crossley, of Port Norris,
N. J., placed a straw bed in her yard to
air, and at night took it in and slept
on it. During the night she felt some
thing moving in the bed, but thought
it was a mouse, and being one woman
in a million who is not afraid of a
mouse, let matters go until morning.
When she examined the bed she found
a large water snake coiled up in it,
which had slept on it all night.-Cor.
Philadelphia Times
Brenham weekly banner. [volume] (Brenham, Tex.) 1877-1907, 1890-11-06
A london Llterarr pIachine.

There is in London a bureau OF
skilled literary craftsmen under the
charge of Mr.. Maxwell, the husband OF
Miss Braddon, which evolves those in
terminable three volume stories of hers
which stretch out to twenty-six serial
parts. Miss Braddon furnishes the
plot, some OF the situations, part of the
conversation and the catastrophe, but
the rest-the prolonged descriptions,
byplay of characters, sentiment and
sensation-is supplied by the ready
pens of the young craftsmen who are
emf, yed and nos WY well paid to
pad" tn" romano, wiIich piss under
her name. When story ia ready for
the market the advance sheets are sent
out over Great Britain and America by
syndicate, and if one wishes to pur-
chase he must do it, as the boys used
to say in swapping marbles, ''unsight,
unseen" and he then pays his 1900 for
the privilege of being the sole publisher
in the state of New York.-Cor. PhiIa-
-delphia Record.
Brenham weekly banner. [volume] (Brenham, Tex.) 1877-1907, 1890-11-06
What Tight Collar. win Do.

DR.. Forster, director of the Ophthal-
mic university at Breslau, has figured
out connection between tight collars
and short sightedness. He alleges that
in 300 cases that have come under his
attention the eyesight had been affect
ed by the pressure of such collars upon
the.muscles of the neck, disturbing the
circulation of the blood to the head.
Brenham weekly banner. [volume] (Brenham, Tex.) 1877-1907, 1890-11-06
-----------
AMERICAN GOLD PIECES.
Their Beauty and Hardness Mako Them
Favorites In Australia

Their Beauty and Hardness Mako Them
Favorites In Australia
'sDo you know" said Jimmy Ryan,
who, you are aware, has encircled the
globo in his travels, ''that our Ameri-
can twenty dollar gold piece, or the
double eagle as they call it in merry
England, is the finest specimen in the
numismatic line have ever seen in my
travels2 l have handled in a CONNER
cial way the coins of every country on
this broad earth, believe, with the eI-
ception, perhaps, of China, and they
don't have coins there.
But in my opinion the American
twenty dollar gold piece is out of sight
when it comes to beauty, finish, sharp
ness and wearing qualities. No one I'M
derstands this. mark you, better than
the Australians. When l was in Mel
bourne l met a jeweler, or rather went
to a jewelers. shop to make few pur.
chases.
HE called me at once for an Ameri-
can, and he asked me if had any
American money in gold. l replied
that had, and tossed twenty-dol-
lar piece on the counter. 1t was the
only one had, but the man seemed to
be so much in love with its beauty that
couldn't refuse to sell it to him when
he asked me for it. the more especially
as he gave Inc about 1914. so for it in the
English money. He took the piece in
his hand, looked at it lovingly, and
placed it in his window. Pretty soon
large crowd gathered about the win
dow and looked at my coin with much
interest, and few people came in and
wanted to buy it, but he wouldn't part
with it at any piece. They set a pretty
high price on American golden money
in Australia, but if you were to offer
them a greenback they would be in.
suited.
Il suppose the reason they like our
gold in Australia is because of its hard.
ness. OF course the percentage of alloy
in the two coins is about the same, ]
Judge; but Australian gold is lighter in
color than ours and softer, and for that
reason il wears out quicker. The golden
coin of England makes lie very tired.
Their sovereign isn't half as handsome
as our five-dollar piece, and they
haven't got anything in the kingdom
that can at all compare with our TWEEN,
ty-dollar piece. At least if they have
! anything over there | didn't get my
fingers on it. They call their gold co
lonial, which means, you understand,
that it comes from Australia. In silver
coinage. however, | must admit that
England can give us points.
Their half crown, which is about the
equivalent of fifty cents, is as pretty
a thing as you would like to see. The
figures stand out strong on it, and il
will ontwear any four Of our fifty cent
pieces. The shilling, about the si,e o.
our quarter, is also q very pretty speci
men of work. At the same time there
is nothing admire SO much as big
round, bright, new silver dollar. MJ
admiration swells and increases for il
as the number of it increases in size.
find that the most powerful thing il
the whole world, all things considered
is the great American dollar" and
Jimmy ratified a number of them in hi!
trousers pocket and looked bewitch
ingly at his diamonds. Chicago Post
Brenham weekly banner. [volume] (Brenham, Tex.) 1877-1907, 1890-11-06

The appeal of the Texas Pa
ciiie from Ell Paso court Tor new
trial in the case of Francis Ross,
who received $4,000 damages for
the loss of a son, was denied by
Judge Maxey Tuesday.
Manuel Hidalgo, Mexican at
Del Rio, was fatally stabbed in the
bowels eight times at a dance Sun
day night, with a dagger while sur
rounded by a crowd of women in
the corner of the room. Nobody
acknowledges to have seen the MUIR
der.
WIN. Dnrnwell, known as "Buf-
falo Bill attempted to kill his mis-
tress Maggie Mule in Austin Mon
duy and then turned the smoking
revolver on himself and blew out his
brains.
Willis Moses shot his wife at
Eagle Pass Monday and then killed
himself, when deputy marshal ap-
peared on the scene. He was a
faithful servant in the club there
and the tragedy is regretted.
-Runnels county, the center OF
the Pecan Concho- Colorado country,
is receiving a large number of pros
pectors and home-seekers.. The in
crease in population this year will be
large, and it is of the substantial
kind.
LENA Poenish, ten year old
girl near Corpus Christi, was recent
" bitten by a rattlesnake. She
seized club, killed the snake and
sucked the wound until medical aid
could be had, and her recovery will
be mainly due to her own bravery.
Joe Redford, the negro boy of
Victoria, who shot Allen Nelson
about month ago had a difficulty
with the father of the latter We'd
nesday, whom he struck over the
head with a chair, and seriously
hurt. The old man provoked the
quarrel.
Brenham weekly banner. [volume] (Brenham, Tex.) 1877-1907, 1890-11-06

First Observation-Disclosures a man /
hate worse than the plague
Second Pedestrian-Whyl
First Pedestrian-He always pro-
nounces my name wrong.-Good News.
Brenham weekly banner. [volume] (Brenham, Tex.) 1877-1907, 1890-11-06
ponsonhy Did Not Know or Wa, satirical

Tommy-Pop, what is meant by
mean time
Mr.. Ponsonby-That's the sort Of
time man has when he endeayors to
prove to his wife that summering two
weeks in August means bankruptcy
Jewellers Circular.