The Pascagoula democrat-star. (Pascagoula, Miss.) 1878-1920, 1890-05-16
GMD emorraf-S Star
Arkansas Ira veler

Arkansas Ira weller.
Woman Is The female Of man
so called because il i, woe mar
who fools with her. Woman is first
in all things though man was first
created. Woman was made from
the rib of man; hence We always
have a tender feeling for the OBJ
posiie sex-in The locality ol that
borrowed rib. Woman was the
first fruit raiSers-She raised The
forbidden crab apple Ia Adams
lips. She likewise raised Cain
and has heen raising il ever since.
Woman in her private state was a
naughty girl, and on 100 intimate
terms of friendship with the devil.
But n thing must be SAID in
her faVor-She never ''wOre the
hreeches." Neither did she wear
the six button nor The French heel
shoes. The "fall OF man" occurred
IN The spring of The year-in green
apple time. This was The turning
point in The history of The world
and II has been turning ever since.
III Adam had not been the weak
kneed, hen.pecked husband that
he was, he would have given Eve
anew spring bonnet to crafty her
whlms instead Of gorging himself
with the forbidden fruit. Then we
poor MORALS would not be roaming
up and down the earth in single
blessedneSS, seeking some one 10
sew OH Il breeches buttons.
Woman is a delusion and a sham
hrst cousin to a pillow; at least
she looks like one. She is a delu-
SION because some man runs after
her all his life with as little hopes
IN catching her As if he were lrv.
Ing TO calch a pOstmastership under {
Harrlson'S administration. Wo.
man is called a duck, while man
Is called a goose. The reason is I
obvious to a blind man. Or all ="
the dearest creatures in the world, e
woman Is The dearest-tO dress. Il
But she is handy TO have about the
house. This world would be a
dreary old waste without woman. s
In fact we don't think it would be- 81
much of a world anyway. Wo- n
man Is a mystery-a puzzle that f.
be solved; Lut we'll never u
give her up. She is never the same a,
l"o minutes in her life. To-day
IS all perfection, beauty and
Foveliness, and tomorrow she is all \
grabbed and cross, and as ugly as b,
n brush fence. They are the biz. Of
sest frauds and humbugs IN the =
but God bless their sweet
existence, we men folks like to be
lumbueged by them. We cant
lelp 1t. The sweet smiles and VI
Whining ways Of lovely women are 81
rreslstable. They draw us uncon- -
'clonSly to them and hold us cap e
I've at their own sweet will, Bit
We THAT Is myself, individually,D
AVE never been captured by one,
hOu@h II we were ordered to sur =
ender, W. would throw up cur
.ands without a single shot being
red. The smell of powder knocks TT
The sand out of our craw. Wo. III
nan Is called a jewel. We don't {
WIN any of the t1ashy jewelry call. CIt
d woman, neither are we bOssed
Y one. Our relationship to her is Go
cry close, however. Our mother
a wowan. We once had q
Neet-heart that Was "A woman, but =
e could never persuade her 10 Rev
a married one. Womanls we
author OF more that is good L par
nj holy than all the men that rrr,
ere hung. But at the same time nan
re IS The cause Of one.halr The ers
llcides and murders that occur nan
Il over the country. And IN All Sz5
,andals, divorce cases and love
lalrS, there is almost always n NJ
oman connected with it. But we -
lie poor creatures are NOT Wi
.sponsible fortha'. With all This. W.
her eternal honor, be it said. She
The first in all good work--ol
ngues' She IS also the first TO An
"a, hrst to rise, and first in The 4
'cKeIS OF her husband; and there O..
I'll leave her. She won't be able 81.
90 The old fellow any damage
he happens 10 he an editor. Qp
Ma