Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1890-03-15
CULTURE OUT WEST.
a Landlord who Was an Authority 60
uigb-roned Terms

Higb-ronei Terms
Eighty-six miles beyond Denver, the
year before the first railroad went
through, four OF us San Francisco pas
sengcrs on the overland stage aligited
In front OF the ''Occidental Hotel built
OF logsl. With pants resolutely tucked
In his boows, and determinedly fastened
TO his waist with belt in which was a
vehement revolver; check shirt and
slouch hat, POLITICALLY on one ear, the
aifable host came cut, kicking hound
of the step 10 receive us. His size com
manded respect.
''t'entlemcn." said he, as he shook
hands with each OF us. ''allow ine to
welcome you To this hospitable hostelry.
The bridge is gone at the river below
and you can't get over till 1t Is fixed
some time tomorrow. You will abide
with me and with you, and you bet well
share and share alike in all we've got II
we have 20 cut punkin. We are far
out. but you shan't find us way or Step
right up this port cochere (slab plat
forml and don't stop To use the scraper;
follow me through this portal (slab
door to which the latch-string is never
out OF fix, unless IL happens to be drawn
in; step right up to this ornate counter
tboard on two barrels) and place your
royal names upon this accommodating
register Ia medical memorandum booll
while call our caterers attention (Sal
get grub for four on dit')
Now. me lords, please step out into
the lavatory tthe whole wide world) and
proceed 10 perform your ablutions in
uncontaminated water dipped from the
creek in vessels OF the purest plated
ware (tin basinsl, and there are the
frescoed napkins (pieccs of former table
cloth on the rack wooden plugl. Now
please walk in. There Is the mirror
northeast corner of small looking-glass)
and comb lioo shy to show its teeth.
''Sit up here by the register, friends
(stove clear out OF doors), for the even.
ing zephyrs are chilly, and take the
frost out Of your feet. But first, gents,
stroll into the bar-room dry goods box)
and take supper invigorator (mountain
avalanchel. What, water? Gum, 1t II
take all the taste out!
"The gong tspoon raped on crockl
sounds; your rejection is ready; come
over into the dining-room southeast
corner Of ROOM and take chairs Sawed
OF logs at the table de hote two slabs
on trestlcsl. Excuse our menu, il is not
printed yet, but you see before You the
bill Of fare (old bacon, corn bread. hom
my. mackercl and chicory coiieel. the
terrapin and oysters haven't got here tc
be IN season yet No toasts, gentlemen.
are permitted at the table: you must
adjourn 70 the bar for them and the
speeches. Gents, don't be sparing with
the napkins four handkerchiefs), they
seem 10 be plentiful"
Later ON as we were tired we intima
ted % desire 10 retire early. said the
landlord: "Wait till light the ehande
lier ltallow candle in block of wood
as the gas Is all out, Now come up this
elevator bladder in the corner.) don't
stumble and fall up stairs Select youi
own rooms. gentlemen, beds all in one
room. divided by chalk marks.) and
don't oyorbalance yourselves and faI
against the partitions or you'll disturb
your ncighbor. Repair TO your down,
couehes lstraw ticks on planksD jnst
manipulate this electric annunciator OF
the floor II hickary club or telephon,
down the shaft trap door II you wani
any thing, but don't make a misstep and
tumble down with the message. Good
night"
The next morning We found the land
lord was great reader of high-toned
low-priced novels and had got on to ths
swing.
At eight o'clock we got off with ouI
lives. Detroit Free Press.