Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1890-10-02

fectly sound.
II believe you. If he hadn't been
sound he would never have lived to such
an age. n-[ Fliegende Batter.
THE DEAR GIRLS.
Ethel find twilight more conducive
to love making than any other time.
Maud-Of course. Your features arc
partly concealed then Munseys.
BAD ADVICE.
az assure you, Judge, that my physi-
clan is responsible for my being
thief.
800 you mean to say that he hypno-
tized you and compelled you to commit
a crimeln
II won't say that, but | do know that
he ordered me to take something before
going to bed. "--[ New York Herald.
AN ANCIENT PRACTICE.
"Lynching was common in ancient
times, if one may judge from the litera-
ture.n
Il thought that was modern institu-
ton"
''No, haven't you read about the
stringing up of the lyrei"
WOULD LOVE HIM LONG.
"oh, wilt thou love me long, my dear2"
She gazed upon his form so tall.
'sof course, III have to love thee long,
If e'er | love thee, Jake, at all
IT WAS NOT A HOBBY.
Ponsonby-There's man uptown who
has at least 200 clocks of all kinds and
Popiniay-T remarkable hobby.
Ponsonby-Not so much so when you
that he keeps jewelry store.
Il jewelers. Circular.
PREPARING HIS Defence.
"You claim that you were insane when
you proposed to her I"
. Yes, SIR
Can you prove it 7"
Yes, sir"
Chow ~
"By producing the plaintiff in court
and letting the jury look at her. n~-ssNew
York Sun.
PRINCIPLE AND PRINCIPAL.
Mrs. du Temps don't approve of
Mr.. Moneybag's suit, my dear. l don't
think he is the man for you, for he
doesn't seem to have spark of prin-
ciple.
Miss du Temps-He has a principal,
ma, of 5000, 600, that yields him 10 per
cent annually. What more do you want2
= Lawrence American.
HE DID THEM JUSTICE.
She indignantly)-I don't think you
give US girls credit for thinking of any
thing else but dress.
He (suavely)-Oh, you wrong mel l
do give you credit for thinking of more
Than dresses.
''0f what alsel"
"Bonnets. p The Epoch.
HIS SACRIFICE.
Highwayman Ito deaf individual
Money or your life.
Deaf Individual lin carriage with wife)
What's thatl Money or my wife.
Well, then, take my wife.-[Epoch.
HE SPOKE FROM EXPERIENCE.
81 have mind to get married."
swell, you won't have any afterwards,
can tell you."-[Epoch.
FRFn's AtrsTAEr
Amy-Fred, hear that your engage
nent with Miss Blesser is broken.
Fred-Yes, it is.
Amy-It must have been built on the
and to fall so soon.
Fred-I thought it was founded on
'ocks, but l discovered she hadn't any.
L Munsey's Weekly.
A NATURAL RESULT.
Visitor to insane aylum Ito keeper)-
And who is that gibbering idiot over
here?
Keeper (sadly)-That poor fellow was
me of our most promising young lawyers
i'll he took a young lady to ball game
me afternoon and attempted to watch !
he game and explain it to her at the
anne time Lawrence American.
WISE BEYOND HER YEARS.
Reginald love you, Madeline. For
'ou | would give up family, position,
Madeline-Hold, Reginald. Giving up
amily is all right fain would be spared |
mother-in-all-give up your position, if |
ou can get better one, but for heavens 1
axe hold on to your wealth. We may /
ICED it.-[Texas Siftings.
AN EyENTFUL DEAL.
Speaking of poker hands, said
Dung Pecan, of Texas, 81 once PLAYED !
a three-cornered game in which one
nan held five aces and the other man a /
ix-shooter-
''And YOUR