Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1890-02-15

80 on are not rlch but then you are III CIR
cumstances sufficiently good to warrant your
taking wife, 1t really doesn't cost any more
for a man like yourself to support family
than to live as a bachelor. Think of all the
pretty girls in society here who would make
charming helpmeets. Remember, too, how
few men there are here who are available as
husbands. How can you. who are generally
regarded by the mammas a satisfactory
parti hold aloof in the market matrimonial
MARRYING MANS VIEWS.
Nov, all this is very pleasing and fattering,
of course But the old ladies, who always seem
more eager about things matrimonial than any
other people in the world, don't quite under
stand my position in the premises. am not
averse to marrying; if have reached the age
of twenty-nine without becoming Benedict, it
has not been through any indisposition on my
part to lead some fair maid to the altar. On
the contrary. / am decidedly by instinct
marrying man. Bachelorhood never could have
any permanent attractions for me. You hear
q great deal of talk about the freedom of
bachelor life, but any sort of existence that is
altogether for ones self gets sort of stale after
a while. Besides. have never done anything
for my living, owing to the misfortune of hav-
ing had an old aunt who left me
JUST ENOUGH TO LIVE ON
when she died, and when one tries to make
amusement business it is apt to pail after q
while. The club is pleasant, when you drop
into it now and then; but you can't live there
and find it enjoyable. am fond of parties; ;
but society as an occupation fatigues me ex-
tremely. / may get my meals at the most ex-
pensive places in town; but they have a res
taurant flavor and get so tired of them that
don't feel like eating at all. Once upon time
knew a man very well who feeling in this matter
very much as do used habitually to neglect
taking his breakfasts and dinners; he was a
busy man and was always apt to have some
thing he preferred to do rather than bother to
go to a restaurant or his club and order from the
bill of fare. The result was that he became
affected with painful and incurable disease,
attacking the lining membrane of his stomach,
which the physicians said they had never met
with before save In the cases of very poor
people who had been compelled to starve for
long periods. No-what / want is a home and
some day mean to have one."
FINDING THE GIRL.
"Well, you don't find any difficulty in dis
covering girl who will have you, suppose?'
said TIE STAR reporter to whom Toodles was
talking.
Il don't think I should have much trouble in
persuading some girl to accept me-" yawned
Toodles, although am not by any means of
the opinion that could take my pick. Men
are not, believe. SO conceited IN that way as
the women appear to suppose. Young ladies
| are very apt TO imagine that men in society go
about with the notion that they have only to
| throw the handkerchief and that they are being
eagerly fshed for on every hand. / don't think
that Is so; on the contrary, men, unless they
happen to be consummate tops, are usually
rather diffident in such affairs. They may
have a confidence more or less justified in their
success with particular girl; but, as a rule,
they are very far from magining that they can
have any article in petticoats they want for the
asking. There are two or three girls in Wash
| ington who, l think, would marry me, and
three or four others whom L admire very much
but should not feel at all sure of. Doubtless
should ask one of them to be mine if it were
not that am afraid"
THE WAY ONE MEETS HER.
Sand why, pray?"
'Simply on account of the matrimonial ex-
periences of my friends-formerly as bachelors
my intimates-some of which have in various
ways reached my knowledge. The trouble is
that man in society cannot possibly, under
ordinary circumstances, obtain any real ac-
qualntance with the girl he marries until after
the knot is tied and he is bound for life. How
can he secure any real knowledge of her? He
never sees her save when she is on exhibition,
in the literal sense of the word. She is always
when in his view. looking her best. dressed in
her best and assuming her best behavior. If
she has any faults. physical or moral. they are
carefully covered up. She is i'll the market
and her best side is turned uppermost, just as
| Is the case with an apple on a fruiterer's stand
which Is fair to look upon until turned over.
The costumes she is seen in are always lovely
and becoming-they are part of the garnish-
ing necessary to render her attractive In short
the man who wooes her knows not the real girl
| at ALL but only something in her outward like
ness, which may be and too frequently is a
counterfeit"
SMALL MEANS OF INFORMATION.
"But he can always learn from her friends
what she is like"
Hardly. Usually her friends and yours-we
are supposing a case where they are apt to be
the same-are not actually aware that your in
tentions are serious until the engagement has
been announced and it is too la:e. But Ill no
event, if they supposed you actually epris of
the young woman. would any of them be likely
to come and speak to you against her. 1t
would seem too like maiice-of IA sort apt to re-
coil upon themselves. No. if you venture into
| anything Of that sort. you must do it alone and
on your own responsibility; nobody is going to
help you. AS for the girls family. they will
certainly not enhghten you to any weak
nessts of hers. If she is really Objectionable
they will be the more anxious to represent her
favorably, In order to get her off their hands.
You may always expect them when you are
present to appear very fond of her. If there
are any unfortunate facts in the family history
particularly if there is an actual skeleton in the
closet-you will not hear of it from them, at
any rate not until
AFTER YOU ARE SAFELY MARRIED.
"Supposing that there are any little domestic
disagreements, care is taken that you shall not
witness them. Everything is made as attractive
as possible outwardiy. You behold the young
woman surrounded by all sorts of luxuries,
which cannot fail to crafty the senses; you see
her always lovely and sweetly dressed; she is
seemingly beloved on all sides. and you fall into
the trap set and baited for you as innocently as
young mouse nibbles at a piece of toasted
cheese that will spring the snare and shut him
of from liberty forever. You propose and no
time is lost by your fancee III notifying as wide
a circle as possible of her friends of the fact
OF her engagement. Then you are hopeless
captive, even supposing that you desire to get
out of it. As an honorable man you cannot
withdraw. II you have made a mistake you
must abide by it, no matter what the sacrifice.
1t is likely, however, that your delusion will be
satisfactorily kept up-supposing that you
have been deluded-until the marriage is ac-
complished. Nobody probably will come to
You and say:
NEXT THE MARRIAGE.
"'You have made great mistake. Have you
never heard what a frightful temper your
fiancee has, how she threw all the ink stands
within her reach at her school teacher on one
occasion and how violently she quarrels with
her friends? Do you not know that she is
rather fast and an inveterate gossip
"No one will be likely to bring you any such
Information. and If they did you would not be-
lieve it. Everything you find as charming as
possible at the home of your bride that is to be.
You are caressed by the family, made much of
and generally tire ated like the spoilad child of