The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1890-10-22
FADS OF THE BATHERS.
SOME WAYS OF STEAMlNG THAT BEAT
THE TURKISH BATH.

A Newspaper Writer Is Put Through a
Process Which Makes Her All the Colors
of the Rainbow-An Ordeal Which to
the Uninitisted Is Akin tn Torture.
The fads of progressive New York
women will kill me yet. Last week
took pack" and l am nearly dead.
Lost twenty pounds and the power of
locomotion for twenty-four hours. My
lips and eyelids turned electric blue and
my complexion is pale green with ecru
nothing. l wanted some medicine
big dose-with diet of lettuce, prunes.
Graham rolls and hot wafer to see if
could put down the rebellious biliousness
of my skin and put on silver gray
gown. | went TO see the bathing mis-
tress in the Hoffman house, who used TO
steam and knead the Jersey Lily and
of grooming for the beautiful Duchess
of Marlborough She told me that /
fought to get packed"
"Where to?" asked.
Good looks! You can come here for
night or | will go to your house and
give you pack that will make your hair
curl"
gave her my card and made arrange
ments TO be ready for her two days later.
Her parting command was: Take
five meal fast TO rest your system, and
you will be the color of lily when get
through with YOU" She did not say
what color or what kind Of lily at the
time, but have since learned that the
model she had in mind was the tiger lily.
THE "PACK" DESCRIBED.
took the fast, and the day she arrived
was as hollow as pipe stem, and the
weakness of the traditional cat was mus
cular vigor compared TO the general gone
ness of my interior. a small mountain
of comfortables and blankets was col
lected, my bed was stripped and covered
first with rubber and then pongee
sheet Over this was laid wet sheet
wrung out of boiling water in which |
was folded like prehistoric mummy.
The sensation was a little smart at
first, and had lurking fear that the
original hue of whiteness was being
scorched from my spinal column. Salts
fed of my mistake relspsed into state
81 passivity and the mistress of the bath
transferred the mountain of blankets
from the floor to my bed. Then she put
a cool, wet napkin on my head, and
there lay with the weight of Atlantas
on my already caved in anatomy and
every pore in my body streaming like
country pump. | tried to think l was
having fun, for it was day off and it
has always been my motto TO make my
own sunshine.
Do what | could with my thoughts
felt the blood pumping into my brain
and making violent and forcible efforts
to escape The stately mistress of the
flesh brush made me keep still, chang
ing the cold cloths on my head slipped
morsels of crushed ice down my throat
and encouraging me by frequent reitera-
tons that l was doing well and would
have a beautiful color. | stayed in the
pack three hours and perspired until
thought there was nothing left of me
but the last breath. Then dropped off
of sonething-I don't know just exactly
what-and when | was about to get a
glimpse of heavenly things with a lot of
short wasted early empire girls and
small dimpled boys in feather trimmings
floating about in atmospheric noncha-
lance l was rudely shaken and told to
open my mouth. That ended the PACK.
THE SENSATIONS AFTERwARD.
/ was dosed with French brandy,
rubbed with alcohol, polished off with
pair of bath mitts that had the grain of
radish graters and put to bed again be-
tween warm sheets.
The packer gave me q cup Of bouillon,
a chop, roll and glass of claret, and
stayed with me until finished the first
morsel of food had tasted in fifty hours.
Bidding me keep quiet and stay in bed
day or two she relieved me of s. bill /
had been saving for crimson parasol
and went off. When l looked in the
glass l saw reflection that beggared the
horror portrayed by the impersonatorso of
Violetta and Camille in their last scenes
was a sort of OK heart red with u mot
Ting of yellow fever and black plague
patches done in the fashion that Limoges
vases are under glazed. My eyes were
on fire, the lining of my lids was white
and green, my nostrils were pinched and
my lips shriveled and were onion blue in
tint.
Briefly, l was horror. l looked like
resurrection. Mentally was as idiotic
as the ushers in the Bible wedding. But
had been packed" and there is some
satisfaction to a crack brain to know
that she has one less fad in the gamut of
fooldom TO investigate. l have given up
the ideal of gray frock and buckled
down to diet of rare roast beef, boiled
onions, rice pudding and vegetable soup,
for until l recover some of my lost flesh
have no use for anything but Spanish
scarf and an ulster.
But will you believe me when l tell
you that these packs are taken regularly
by the fashionably progressive women of
New York every day in the week? It's
fact.-New York World.
A Hosts Thoughtfulness.
Brown (of Philadelphia)-Come right
in, old fellow Your room is ready and
a = f<.el