Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-09-24
THE Count of Paris will not be disputed.


THE Count of Paris will not be disputed.
THE wind may be tempered to the shorn
lamb, but how about the Dald-headed man.
Now let the sound of hammers drown all the
discord in Chicago. When actual work begins
on the fair buildings people will begin to save
up their small change in order to help foot the
bills.
THE college football crack is q bigger man
than the college President.
ARTISTS agree that the Sheriff of Allegheny
county could have hung the paintings at the
man to whom the disposition thereof was in
trusted.
PEOPLE who talk about Pittsburg being
dirty and sooty nowadays must look at it
through glass-or several glasses.
THE big men who were entertained by skele-
tons at the Whitechapel Club, Chicago, the
other night, probably saw snakes before the
night was over. The club keeps them on tap in
the sideboard.
CHIcAeo's hindsight Is better than its fore
sight, after all.
If you want to see inelooking, well-fed.
contented. jolly, broad-browed body of big men
take peep into the hall where the German
Catholic Congress sits.
THE Mckinley tariff bill will make mighty
interesting reading in Europe.
THOSE who chew the cud of contentmenr in.
stead of the weed need not carry tooth brush
in their waistcoat pocket.
A AswEET-FACED girl may have sour temper
BASEBALL players are not the most con-
tented fellows on earth, even il they are always
resigned.
A BOY babe left in doorway is certainly
step-son.
THE bondless and uninsured married man
who travels without accident insurance
ticket in his trousers pockets nowadays Is
heartless indeed. Besides, the paper will
identify you.
GIRLS who use arsenic waters make pale
angels.
THE man who prays loudest and longest
usually has something on his conscience.
PEOPLE who swim in the gilded ripples of the
social stream are just as liable to sink as those
who paddle along in the free baths patronized
by the masses. Both will clutch at the same
straw, too.
THE clerks at political headquarters are busy
SHOWING the queer" now. The voters can't be
queered this time, though
K1rrEN1sH girls are liable to become real
old cats.
THE man who stands upon truth cannot be
knocked down by a lie.
WHEN Delamater's record is held against
the Emery wheel at Bradford next Friday its
polish will probably be dimmed instead of
frightened.
THE pirates of the rail should be treated like
the pirates Of the sea.
SPANISH dancers are now the metropolitan
rage. They are an improvement on the Gaiety
skirters, as they use eyes and arms instead Of
the lower limbs to please the scanty-haired.
A DOG always has tail to tell when it de-
sires to express satisfaction.
A PACK of cards is no longer "the Devils
book" The reprints of the French and Rus
sian novelists and the intense realism of some
English-writing romancers can give the PASTE
boardsa pat hand and win cut for Satan every
time.
THE old adage about whistling girls and
growing hens has been ruthlessly shattered by
the successes of the tuneful females OF the
period. OF course they are not dead yet. and
anything is liable to happen before they pucker
their rosy lips for the last time.
THEY have colored lights in the House now.
WILLIE WINKLE.