The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1890-01-15
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Don't hit a man when he is down; he
may get up.
Protection on glassware extends to
where it gets into the hands of the hired
girl.
Beauty may be only skin deep; but
the plump girl gets the most sleigh-rides'
Puck.
In the race of life it isn't the fast men
who come out ahead. .-Binghamton Re
publican.
Hush-money, when used, is more apt
than any other money to make noise
Picayune.
Nature has made some men tall, and
laziness has made them short.-BHrt'H9-
ten Free Press
The youth who becomes ill from in
diligence in a "snipe" has a stubborn
malady.- -Biaghamtot Herald.
Two of the wealthiest men in the
West are said to have been messenger
boys. 1t pays to go slow, after alt
Statesman.
Yes, there is plenty of room at the
top. and there always will be unless IA
ciiities for getting there are improved
Biaghamt9D Herald.
Little boys generally look on little
girls as nuisance; but when they grow
older the reverse is generally the case
MltrauIee journal.
She-"You have often heard, of course,
of the mermaids singing? | wonder what
tune they sing!" He-"Nep-tune,
suppose. - Laereaes An'oricaa.
"You say your husband is a great
whistler!' "Yes, indeed; you ought to
hear him some time when my milliner'
bill comes home !''-StdteSmGH
Love will go where it is sent;
At least so say the scholars.
But often love, | fear, is bent
On going where It's dollars.
Boston Transcript.
A Mormon has been committed to Jail
for contempt of court for refusing to tell
how many wive he had. Evidently his
misery was more than he could confess.
-RocheSter Post EgpreSs.
Landlady-"What's the matter, Mr..
George? You look down in the mouth. y
Mr.. George-'Just so. I've almost
swallowed feather from that chicken
soup. .n-Ne0 York Journal
Smiffkins-"A -"Aw-I-a-want you to
trim and curl my mustache, barber. y
Hairdresser (who doesn't like being called
"barber'O "Cert'nly, sir. When shall
we send for it?"-O once Week.
Jeweler Ito Chinese laundryman)-
ssWhy, John, you'll ruin that watch by
allowing it to lie in the suds." Laundry
man-''NIe puttee him in soak, alice
samee Mclean man. '-Je1oeJerS' Weekly.
"Alasm cried the captured fish,
"How little did | opine
The worm that looked so delici-
Gus could have such horrible spineF'
-Nel0 York Herald.
A. to his friend, the famous painter
of battle scenes, who covers up with
smoke all things that he does not know
how to paint what are you
going to do when they use the smokeless
powder" Fliegeade Blaetter.
Eighteen centuries ago a prophet had
no honor in ms own country. Nova
DAYS there is mighty little honor about
them anywhere. If there were they
wouldn't be trying to make people be
leve they could prophesy .-DansrW5
Byeezs.
Muskrats in the Northwest are build
inc houses three stories high with man
sard roofs and bay windows and steam
heaters in the cellars. Some persons may
think this is a sign of a hard winter, but
it isn't, 1t is a sign that somebody is
lying. .-Ne,o Iorb Nors.
Chicago GirI-''Oh, Auntie, we've
Just been out shooting at the target.
Great sport, tell you Boston Girl
eyes, indeed; | fully coincide with
Belinda, although the diversion is some
what arduous. succeeded in perforat-
ing the bovine optic three times in sue
cession'
Bay Horses.