davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Tombstone daily prospector., 1890-08-07

Choice California cheese and Hoi- land Herring at HoeAer's. tf
Tombstone daily prospector., 1890-08-07

The Winslow team were beaten in the base ball tournament at Prescott.
Tombstone daily prospector., 1890-08-07
EIeetrie Bitsers.

This remedy is becoming we'll known and so popular as tS need 10 special mention. All who have used Electric Bitters sing the same song 0t praise. PureF medicine does not exist and 1t Is Esarszteed tO do Alf that is cisimed Electric Bit ters viii sure sli diseases Of the Liver and Kid Seys. will remove Pimplss. Bofls Salt Rheum and 0.hsr affections eRased by impure blood. VIII drive A.isris from the system zDd prevent well zs rTre all AsfA=fai feTers. For cure of Head Sehe. Constipation and Indigestion try Electric sittsrs- Entire satisfaction guaranteed or nsouev refunded. Price 0centS and q 60 per bottle st | Yonze' drug store
Tombstone daily prospector., 1890-08-07

FOR sAEE-Thrce room house, lot, and cooking utensils cor. oi Ilth and Allen street. Apply to
 If C. NARDIxI & Co.
Tombstone daily prospector., 1890-08-07

The following instruments were flied in the recorders office since 3 p. m. yesterday:
Tombstone daily prospector., 1890-08-07
LOCATION

Cabello, Juniper F. Prieto mining claims locators, F. N Woleott, T. Val dez
Tombstone daily prospector., 1890-08-07
HORN.

SNurH-In Tombstone. August 6, to the wife of L. A. Smith, son.
Tombstone daily prospector., 1890-08-07
LOCAL NOTES.
signal Service

Signal Service.
 The 'ollowing is the range Oi the thermometer for the 24 hours ending 3 o'clock p. m. August I: Maximum. S6 Minimum . 59-
Tombstone daily prospector., 1890-08-07
COUNTY RECORDS.

djourned to August 16, at 10 a. m
Tombstone daily prospector., 1890-08-07

JOIN SHAUGHSEssy,
 Proprietor.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1890-12-19
Hidden at Gettysburg.

The following was sent out as dis
patch from Pittsburg: when going
into the battle OF Gettysburg, Lee
Mason gave his friend John Ambrose
a package TO deliver to his wife when
the war was over, as he felt present
iment that he would not outlive the
engagement. He was killed in the
battle. Ambrose, too, was shot in
the fierce fighting in the Devils Den
and while lying helpless among the
rocks bethought him Of the packet
for his friends widow. Fearing the
Confsderates might get it from his
body, he concealed it between the
rocks. Ambrose was taken to the
hospital unconscious, and lost a leg
there. After the war, he wandered
out West He is now living in West
moreland county, Pa. Recently he
learned shat Mrs. Mason was living
at McKeesport, and that reminded
him Of the packet He went to Get
tysburg and found the package. 1t
had contained $500 in gold and some
papers. The gold was intact but the
papers had rottled. Sunday the
property was turned over to Mrs.
Mason.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1890-12-19

1t was Ben johnson, we believe,
who, when asked Mallock's question,
us life worth living ?" replied, That
depends on the liver" And Ben John
son doubtless saw the double point
to the pun. The liver active-quick
life rosy, everything bright, noun
tains OF trouble melt like mountains
of snow. The liver sluggish-life
dull, everything blue, molehills OF
worry rise into mountains OF anxiety,
and as result-sick headache, dir
illness, constipation. Two ways are
open. Cure permanently, or relieve
temporarily. Take pill and suffer,
or take a pill and get well. Shock
the system by an overdose, or coax it
by mild, pleasant way.
DR.. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets are the
mild means. They work effectively,
without pain. and leave the system
strong. One, little, sugar-coated pei,
let is enough, although whole box
costs but 25 cents.
Mild, gentle, soothing and healing
is DIR. Sage's Catarrh Remedy. Only
so cents, by druggists.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1890-12-19
WEST VIRGINIA ITEMS.

Prof. J. V. Carpenter, in charge OF
the public schools at Warrington,
died Friday.
At Parkersburg Mary Z. Wheaton
has been awarded $4,000 in a breach
of promise suit against Maurice Copp.
J. w. Lees sawmill near Mountain
Lake Park blew up the other day,
killing one man and badly inJurlng
three Others.
At Bluefield, Mercer county, last
week. the clothing Of Mrs. Jennie
Surbaugh caught fire aid size was
burned to death.
James e. Swain, ward conductor
Of the B. and o. Railroad, at Graf
ton, was crushed 70 death Friday
whilst coupling cars.
and Michigan Railroad ran into a
work train near Charleston on Mon
day and caused bad snashup,
though no one was killed.
Gov. Fleming has appointed eI-
Gov. Wilson TO fiji the commissioner
ship held by Beverly Tucker, de-
ceased, to act for the interests Of the
State Of West Virginia in the matter
of any law which may be proposed III
Congress.
There was a fatal fight among the
striking miners at Monongha last Fri.
day. Jason Hall, master workman OF
a miners assembly, assaulted a man
named Jenkins for refusing to join
the strike Jenkins thereupon shot
and killed Hall.
The bodies of two men who had
been frozen to death were found near
Clay Court House, Saturday. They
were recognized as those OF James
Lane and George Sisken, two we'll
known farmers and stochmen, who
lived in the eastern part OF Clay
county. The men had started for the
Court House OH Wednesday and it is
believed were caught in the terrible
wind and snow storm which prevailed
in the mountains on that day.
A frightful dynamite explosion oc-
Cured Monday near Ceredo, w. Va.
Some employees Of the Norfolk and
Western Railroad were drying some
of the explosive when it exploded,
blowing one man who was doing the
stamping through the roof of a shed
and landing him in a tree sixty feet
away. An Italian named Bocili and
q colored man named Barrett who
were in the building were killed in
stantly, and ten other laborers dan
gerously wounded, some Of whom
cannot recover.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1890-12-19


The President has an idea OF ap-
pointing his former law partner and
present Attorney-General, Mr.. Miller,
to a place on the Supreme Bench, so
the record OF that gentleman has be-
come public property. Some enter
prising writer has discovered that in
1872 Mr.. Miller made a speech in ia
vor Of Greeley and Hendricks in
which he scored General Grant I'M
mercifully. Among other things he
said that il the phrenologist were to
make a chart Of General Grants head
at least three-fourths Of the entire
Uranium would be found embraced in
the organs of gratitude and family
affection. To General Grant, moth
ers-in-law and brothers.in-law, I'M
Giles and cousins, wives nephews and
all their several relations and friends
are all members of the much-loved
family circle, and are alike entitled
to receive and equally capable of APP
preciating collectorships, postoffices,
foreign ministries and other munifi-
cent benefactions Of the great man Of
the family. That a very large part
OF these family appointees are incom-
petent, corrupt and unfit for their po-
sitions is notorious."
Thisis interesting reading to the pub
lie generally, but it must be particu-
larly interesting to Mr.. Miller's chief,
the Hon. Benjamin Harrison. IL the
date and name had been left out nine
persons in ten would have certainly
thought Mr.. Miller was referring to
President Harrison.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1890-12-19
The First Step.

Perhaps you are run down. can't eat. can I
sleep, can't think, can't do anything 20 your
satisfaction, and you wonder what ais you
You should heed the warning, yoa are taking
the first step into Nervous Prostitution. You
need Nerve Tonic and in Electric Bltters
you will fnd the exact remedy for restoring
your nervous system to its normal healthy
healthy condition. Surprising results follow
the use of this great Nerve Tonic and Altera-
tive. Your appetite returns. good digestion
Is restored, and the Liver and Kidneys re-
sumo healthy action. Try a bottle. Price
SOC. at DIR. j. G. Gibson's Drug Store.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1890-12-19
Xmas Holiday Rates on the B. & o.

The B. & o. r. r. Co. will this
year follow its annual custom OF sell
ing excursion tickets at greatly re
duced rates on all of its Fines during
the Christmas holidays. The sale of
excursion tickets will begin at all b.
& o. stations east OF the Ohio River,
December the cath, and will continue
until January 1st, inclusive. All
tickets will be good for return passage
until January 5th, 1891, inclusive.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1890-12-19

SENATOR SPooNRR thinks the Re
publicans were defeated at the last
election because the people did not
understand the Mckinley bill. Oh,
no, Senator; it was because the people
did understand it.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1890-12-19

SENATOR KENNA made vigorous
and effective speech against the Force
bill in the Senate on Tuesday. His
speech.is regarded on all sides as one
of the strongest yet delivered on this
subject.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1890-12-19

WE'LL bet Santa Claus is down on
the Mckinley bill. The new tariff in
creases the duty on china toys from
80 per cent to 60 per cent; on filberts
from s cents to cents pound; on
raisins from to % cents; prunes to
cents, and so on through almost the
entire list of articles generally used
at the Christmas time.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1890-12-19

SENATOR QUAY is still maintaining
that dignifed silence, although he
gave it out some time ago that he
would answer the charges made
against him as soon as Congress met.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1890-12-19

IT is encouraging to notice the fact
that the big rascals do not all escape.
In Philadelphia last week the mana
ger. OF broken bank were clapped
in Jail, State Senator being among
them, for defrauding depositors Of
their money
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1890-12-19

THE Chicago Times recently pub
lished letters from 221 editors OF both
parties expressing their preference
for the next President. The result
showed that 100 were for Cleveland,
SO for Blaine, 12 for Hill, ~ for Har-
rison, and the balance scattering
This is pretty fair indication OF the
way the pulse OF the people beats.
And the Democracy stands just this
WAY: Cleveland LOG, Hill 10.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1890-12-19

IT seems as though there is no
stopping the Democrats. Last week
thsy elected all their candidates in
Boston by $4,000 majority, reversing
a Republican plurality last year Of
3 900
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1890-12-19

IT has been determined by the
Committee on Rivers and Harbors to
present no bill asking for appropria-
tons this year AS there's no money
OF any account left, this is about the
only thing that could be done.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1890-12-19

THE Indian war in the West has
probably been nipped in the bud by
the killing Of the old chief Sitting
Bull and his son. Numbering the
commanders is probably an effective
way of preventing battle-uut is it
the manly thing to do! We hate to
hear of the Indian chieftain being
shot down like a dog by United
States police.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1890-12-19

THE financial cloud that is hover
ing over our country doesn't look as
though the people had much conf
dence in this administration.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1890-12-19

THEY are investigating Pension
Commissioner Raum again. And
they'll whitewash him again, too-if
it takes all the lime at Bakerton TO
do If
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1890-12-19

THERE is talk Of wedding out of
the pension rolls the names OF all per-
sons undeserving 1t is a good idea
and would save millions.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1890-12-19

THE women employed in Radcliff's
wooden mills, at Birmingham, Conn,
have struck against a 10 per cent re-
duction OF their wages. The goods
manufactured in these mills were
protected by duty Of about 50 per
cent before the Mckinley bill raised
the protection to As or so per cent.
Now the proprietors seek to add to
that saving Of 10 per cent upon the
laborer cost. Precisely where does
the laborer come in for share OF
his protection OF American labor"
-Ne,p York World.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1890-12-19

THEY are still pegging away at the
Force bill, and the Democrats are
making it mighty warm for the Re
publicans
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1890-12-19

THE House OF Representatives is as
quiet as a sheep fold just now. and
Reed is as meek as any lamb.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1890-12-19
From Birth to Death ,

Our stock comprises every ar,Icla ,,.-.
and female nom birth 10 death ,excrn, Us, ma.
hats Ladies' and children's t'ostIp vadies'
Notions, &c. ~! hoods,
Mems and Boys Readymade CIo,h,,,
Goods, Custom Made Clothing E,r,'s tleee
Boots aud shoes, Hats, Robes. BIanSaI, 'iIH!s''
brellas, Satchels, Trunks. &c Ae's NJ
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1890-12-19

IT will soon be time to turn over a
new leaf
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1890-12-19

Mr.. Al. Daggett, OF Birmingham,
Conn, who makes all the postal cards
used by the government, has made
an assignment.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1890-12-19

Moses Dewey, workman in Roach's
shipyard at Chester, Pa, has just
fallen heir TO a fortune of $4,000, 900
left him by relatives in England.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1890-12-19

The Legislature of South Carolina
has elected Col. j. L. NJ. lrby, young
man only SO years old, to succeed
General Wade Hampton rs United
States Senator 1t seems hard to
throw gallant old soldier like
General Hampton overheard, but in
the march Of events the younger men
must sometimes take their place at
the front, too. Col. Irby was elected
by the Farmers Alliance, but he is a
Democrat.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1890-12-19

AS party, the Republicans seem to
be pretty thoroughly demoralized.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1890-12-19

Catarrh indicates impure blood, and to
cure 1t, take Hoods Sarsaparilla, which pu-
rifles the blood. Sold by all druggists.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1890-12-19
NO ADVANCE IN PRIcEs1
eo.oooWORTH OF coono
AcHRIsTMAs STOCK!

Specializing importers and Oh,
pront merchants say goods have ZINE Big
prices. This is not the case In our g,aN,ed 10
We have stock that has cost ns . r''l store
more than $4,000, over one-hslf o, xsl down
been purchased IN the past sixty ds dawn R has
paid any higher prices than In tie Se nave not
are not asking buyers any hig6s ras', aud
yourself. ""u Judge ior
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1890-12-19
Wide Awake,
beginning with the Holiday Number.

beginning with the Holiday Number.
1901 is permanentlyenlarged 100
1911 10 one hundred pages, FACES
radiant with new and larger type. a new style
OF page, and fresh, strong literary and pcto.
rial attractions.
MRS. BURTON HARRISON, whose story Of
THE Anglomaniacs" has been the sensa.
ton OF the season In The Osntry. has writ.
ten for WIDE bwAKE story called "pis.
monds and Toads."
HON. JOHN ID. LONG (e1-Govcrnor Of Mas.
sachusetts) furnishes six articles under the
general title OF "Our Government iur tho
enlightenment ofcoming citizens boys
and girls or to-day.
KIRK MUNROE, who lately lived for time
the life of railroad man. In all phases from
parlor car To cattle cage. has put his eIpe.
Renee into "a thrilling serial Tor boys called
"Cab and Caboose.' Striking pictures by
Edmund III. Garrett.
MARGARET SIDNEY'S new serial, give
Little Peppers Grown Up" will tell more
about Polly and Jasper and David and joel
and Phronise, and others. ~ II runs through
the year. Finy charming illustrations by
Charles Mente.
MARIETTA'S GOOD TIMES will chronicle
In her own words. from her own ,uu.
script, the childhood adventures Of Marietta
Ambrosi
MISS MATILDA ARCHAMBEAU VAN
DORM. a little girl who had a great many
ancestors. In an Irresistible little folks sefl'
al. by Elizabeth Cummings.
UNUSUALLY INTERESTING ARTICLES.
some deliberately pictorial; dining with
Gladstone" by Mrs. General John a lngsu.
Amy RobsArts Embroidery. by Frances
A. Humphrey. Mother Gooses Pets by
Agnes Repplier; "Gypsie- and 6yp'ylnL'
by Elizabeth Robins Pennell. "None
Horses that / have Known" by Maud
Howe; "SeInte Marie College OF Wynctrs
tire" by oscar Fay Adams: "BostOu's Glh
sculptor" by Mrs. Newberry; the sugar
Crank" by Theodora X. Jenness.
SOME PROBLEMS IN HOROLOGi by T.. II.
HRwley OF the Smithsonian Institution
Washington, will interest High School stu
dents-three sets Of Cash Prizes.
THE BEST OF SHORT STORIES from thou.
sands offered and solicited the past year
THE LANDING OF THE PILGRIMS. fac.
smile reproduction Of Felicia h"mAuss
famous poem. from the original " s.. n"W
In Pilgrim Hall. Plymouth.
FIGURE ORA WING FOR CHlLpREN. 10 u
illustrated lessons. by Caroline II. klnmef
with four prizes each month.
FINE BALLADS by Graham X. Iomson,
Harriet Prescott SpOnord, Mary y Bfad-
ley md Laura r.. Richards, beautifully W.
Illustrated by Garrett. Sandman aud Ihylof
The ever popular ways 10 do Thing the
school and Playground Stories. Iangl'''
Postofiice and Men and Things.
Wide Awske 10 only $40 ye'r.
D. LOTHROP COMPANY,
Publishers, Boston.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1890-12-19

Toledo, o.
We, the undersigned, have known
f. J. Cheney for the last Is years, and
believe him perfectly honorable in all
business transactions, and financially
able to carry out any obligations
made by their firm.
West & Truax, Wholesale Druggists,
Toledo, Ohio.
Walding, Kinnan & Marvin, Whole
sale Druggists, Toledo, Ohio.
Halls Catarrh Cure is taken inter
nally, acting directly upon the blood
and mucous surfaces of the system.
Price, 75c per bottle. Sold by all
Druggists.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1890-12-19
The NewYOrk Ledger,
Robert Bonners Sons, Publishers 81
William 1t n. Y.

GALE OF EYEs.-ope hundred and - III ~
- pair Of spectscles and Eys.tia sass IN
sold In the next thirty days Ihsy I'D most
be sold. Fits gpsranteed and prices p .ay ana
suit the hnyer. For bargains, eAp es'"
of'ena' wcxuHRAS's DRUG STORE
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1890-12-19
Christmas Goods

Have the very latest novelties in Jan,,...
Chinese, German and American b",,'ee,
Ware. Willow. Palm. Bamboo and oibV..s,!
ucles for Christmas gif,s-novel and nr., a..
goods More IMAM thousand different s,t}
Giles 10 choose from Al as low price. a. ",s''
past. o." '"s
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1890-12-19
The Great Writers
OF THE DAY.

To convince everybody, before subscribing
Of the high quality and Interest ~ our Bfan.
tlfully illustrated journal Ia - new form We
Will send 10 any address
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1890-12-19
SCHOOL SUPPLIES.

Such as Chalk Crayons, Pens, Ink, Penhold
ers, Paper, Copy Books from No. to No. 10
Tablets from &c to SOC. lndelible Ink and
Pencils, Slate Pencils. School Sponges from
lc up. A superior and cheap line OF Memo
randum Books, Day Books and Ledgers-the
cheapest lot ever bought. Also stationery
In large quantities.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1890-12-19
3 WEEKS FOR
10 CENTS.

SEND TEN CENTS for n trial subscription
and we will send you three numbers. lncin1'
Ing our CHRISTMAS NUMBER, win an ar
tistic cover; also, our Calendar Ann1HDe.
ment for 1891, with apaintiDg-"Ihe hibp''
These three numbers contain the following
reading matter:
% MRS. AMELIA T.. BARRS new "nal,
The Beads OF Tssmer" Mrs. Barr = vi
author OF that most succfssiul 'IlAit
Friend Olivia, Just completed ~ IN -
fury: but hereafter Mrs.. Barr viii WIZ" -
clUslyely for The .Ye1o York LTd1e'
% HON. GEORGE BANCROFT's deseflpty,'h '
of"Tbe Battle Of Lake Erie, bsauiIIsi9 -
Illustrated.
o. NARGAREr DELAND's latest sioiy' }"
What EndP"
~ JAMES RUSSELL JOWELL'5 poe ~, "
Brook. written expressly for The L,ay,I'
beautifully illustrated by wilson ~ VIZ, sHt;
and issued asa rot H-PAGE sou 'b''''
SUPPLEMENT
90 MRS. DR. JULIA HOLMES SMITH .H ~.
a series Of articles giving very Yalvap' "
formation to yooD. motbefs-
90 ROBERT GRANTS entertaining soeis'
novel. Mrs. Harold stacy"
"a HARRIET PRESCOTT SPOFFOkD. ~
RIOS HARLASD. MARQUEE LA.Lsaj
MAURICE THOMPSON and Hbots,.,
FREDERIC PAH5OS5 contribute 'DH'
stories. -.
(s) JAMES PARTON, NJ. W. HAIELIIsh
and OLIVER DYER (aoihof OF "OfeA' ~
ators , contribute articles ~ interest,"
In addition 10 tie above. sPAKKLISG ~
ITOKIAI.s illustrated Poems, HILLS -
SHALL MONTHS chatty column snd ss 49,.
Of del sntful reading Of Interest !" ~ 'N
berz OF the household. -. liter
The foregoing 10 n Sample ~ w 80, X.
whlrb goes 10 make up the mot p.L,iT 60 an,
tionai Family Joprnsi ever Offered 10 'D'
American people. - 49,. ,,,,o,,ers
send Ten Cents fos these three nnI,hisi.
and Iudzs sOr your seIf, or send only ~"
lsrs for . years subscription 10
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1890-12-19
OW'S Ibis I

We offer One Hundred Dollars Re-
ward for any case of Catarrh that can
not be cured by taking Halls Catarrh
Cure
FL. CHENEY s. CO, Props,
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1890-12-19
OUR LAST
XMAS BULLETIN.

The trade we have had so far justi-
fies us in the belief that our recent eff
forts in descriptions and prices inter
ested a good many people. We make a
The weekly messenger. [volume] (St. Martinsville [i.e. St. Martinville] La.) 1886-1948, 1890-02-08
HUMOROUS.

OF interest-A pawn ticket.
Without culture-Wild flowers.
Food for the blind-Sea biscuit.
'Tve had great many trials in my
timc," remarked the veteran criminal
sadly.
The average college oarsman is no
chicken; no, not when he is in his
shell.
Table luxuries are those things which
the moro they so up the less they 60
down.
Crus.y-Bo careful, waiter, your
thumb is in the soup. Waitcr-I don't
mind it, sir, Pm used to it.
Il will toss coppers with YOU" re.
marked one steer to another as they
made for couple of policemen.
He Gondling her hand)-Your little
hand is never chapped. is It'll She
(coyly)-No; 1 wish it might be. And
then he popped.
"Don't wash in that pail" said the
hotel proprietor. ''That is drinking
water" SWELL" answered the guest,
"if it is drinking water, I guess it ID
clean enough for me to wash in. lam
not very particular"
The Toronto Globs tells of man who
has cooked his own breakfast for fifteen
years. Apparently he has no regard for
Shakespeare's famous receipt: 'If it
were done when it's done, then 'twe,s
we'll it were done quickly"
My lad," remarked Judge Spencer
to the little boy who had just taken the
witness stand, .do you understand the
nature of an oath2" "Yes, sir; was in
pap's Office yesterday when his coal bin
was presented" ''Mr. Clark, enrol
the witness.
Car crowded. All fat people, very
fat. Car stops, very thin man gets in.
Has great difficulty in squeezing himself
into bit of a seat. He gets angry and
says, People ought to pay fares ac-
cording to weight" Fat neighbor
answers, 'If they did, the car wouldn't
stop for YOU"