The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1890-02-08
COMMUNICATION.
PAHRANAGAT VALLEY, Feb. ,, 1890.

| Mr. Editor: Yesterday proved a grea
day for your correspondent, as you shall
hear. l had tackled the old man about
looking lively, or we'd never get certain
chores done, but says he, 'Bill lets take 8
rest, as I'm expecting a few friends to
spend the afternoon with US and have a
good .ime." All right says l. May !
ask whats up? "Wait my boy, wait says
he, you haint a going to loose nothing by
doing so.
SO me and Bob went after geese and
ducks, which is pretty plentiful now.
When we got home we found the house
full of people, with mother, the twins
and the rest of EN- in their Sunday
best, waiting for dinner, which did
smell uncommon good you bet-smelled
like sucking pig and sure enough it
was with slathers of onions and sweet
potatoes. There was also all kinds of peas
and plum pudding.
When it came to the desert, dad got
onto his best leg, and wiping his jaw
with his hand, says he. Ladies' and
gentlemen: We have met this afternoon
to celebrate a pleasant, though solem.
colly occasion, that certain young man,
who | must introduce to you as Bill
Smithers, my eldest son don't know any
thing about, but ladies and gentlemen,
I'm compelled to give him his freedom,
for he's twenty-one years of age to-day,
and his own master, so you'll be kind
enough to fill a glass and drink bumper
to him. With this the old gentleman
emptied his'n, and began to yell hurah
like crazy man, all the rest following
suit.
When they'd got kind of rested,
Mother said, "Bill you'd better get up
and thank your father and the rest of
the people for their kind wishes" So
feeling as if owned an interest in the
new railroad to Phoebe, l let loose
in the following poetic address,
which was kind of mar'd though through
nervousness, from having spilled some
wine on the front of my boiled shirt
l got for Sues wedding:
Ladies and gentlemen, being unaccus-
toned to making speeches, and never
having come of age before, my modesty
will prevent me from holding forth for
any length on this occasion. All can
do is to thank you all for your presence
here to-day and your well wishes. In
conclusion | would say hope the old
folks will live long enough to treat my
brothers and sisters little differently,
giving them due notice when they are of
age, and not thrust them into the soup
the way they have me-"
All at once dad got up again and said
"Bill and neighbors; you may think it
strange that this should be, the first
we've kept and no notice given,
but my excuse is that such things cost |
powerful sight of money, and man has
to save all he can when he has a large |
family, so | hope the boy II keep his
shirt on though it don't look as respecta.
BILE as it might, for it shows the owners
been winning on several subjects lately.
Some time ago it was about an epytaph
| rote for him; / guess he thought he
was the only person round the country
could do something for the editer"
At this | called to order and stated |
I'd bet him new hat could rite bet.
ter epytaph in five minutes on my self
and leave the company to Judge.
Every one present said it was a wack,
including dad, so l got one of the twins
to fetch me pencil and paper and l |
produced the following elegant compo.
sition that everybody said beat dads and |
took the cake, which dad finally adj. |
mitted himself Here it is:
EPYTAPH FOR BILL.
Here lies unlucky Bill,
Who always lied Of yore,
But now he lies so well,
He's safe to lie no more.