The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1890-05-14
4 Ca,inibal'S Calculation.

A CarnibalS Calculation.
The following amusing sketch has
been translated 10y a Peurith gentle
man from the "Almanach de la PalX
lS90":
Perhaps YOU do not know that King
Rarahotutu came to visit the FXhlOl
ton at Paris. ! saw him the other day
as he was going through the exhibit OF
the Minister of War. TO do him hon
or, the Government had given him q
Colonel of Engineers as guide
Both were very we'll dressed; King
Rarahotutu perhaps little familiar
and the Colonel a little stiff in his
"role" of elephant driver. [ CHANGED
to hear q bit Of conversation between
them which is worth reproducing
parahotulu examining the new nick
el cartridges) : What charming car
tridgcs They would make splen'
did necklace! What do they cost 2
The Colonel (dryIy): We do not sell
them.-R.: l know; but mean how
much do they cost to make &C: All
| understand. I am sure I do not
quite know ; l2s. to l5s. per hundred,
imaninc.-R. And how many does
it require for each man &C. (veXed)
With only one you would have more
than enough.-R. I believe it; but
how many cartridges have to be fired
in q battle for each man killed &C.
Well, they usually reckon that to kill
a man it is necessary to fire a quantity
of bullets equal to his weight, say
about $50 lbs. Now, these bullets
weighing about an ounce each, you
can reckon for yourself (Aside) l am
forgetting that this idiot will not know
how to do q division sum. Politely
[ will tell you in moment. Crakes
out his memorandum book and pen
cil.) 1t will take 2,S00.-R. Then
that represents G22.-C.: (astonished
and aside): Hold, he knows how to
multiyly.-R.: And they would re-
ouire to fire about as many in time OF
peace for practice, | should think.
That makes more than $40 for car
tridgcs TOR each man killed.-C. Ii
is quite possible, R: And to fire
the cartridges rifles are necessary.
Noticing the I.ebel rifles.) What ri
lies Real gems How much dc
they cost &C. (aside): This negro
with his finance is tiring. (Aloud)
believe 4Os. to 45s. apiece. And
how many rifles are necessary to Kill
one man &c. (aside) He is fearfully
particular. (AlOud) 1t is reckoned in
the last campaigns each soldier fired
on the average fifty shots. Conse.
ullrntiy, since we have reckoned 2,S0C
rifle >ho:s fur every man killed, you
can estimate that it is necessary to
take into consideration 50 or 80 rifles.
R: Then you must estimate GlOO
to el2O for providing rifles.-C. .(aside) {;
This savage calculates like Archime-
des.-R.: And these soldier must be
clothed and their officers also. That,
too, must cost great deal feeling the
cloth of the officers tunic), for you are
very handsome you are very much
finer than we are. (The Colonel is
viSibly tlattered.) And how much
NAV it cost t. cothe soldier &C. (n
a bad hGmorl: Don't know.-R. 1t
can't cost less than G4 per man, all i'll
cludcd. That makes e2OO or G240 for
killing ZACH man.-C. Gmpatiently)
If yuu like we will go to something
else.-R. following ohediently): 1 for
get that you must feed your men, and
that not only in times Of war but in
times of peace for Is or 20 years; for
yoI will be about so long without kill
ing one another. At go per man pei
annum that would make something
like e2,OOO or G., 400 for every man you
kill. What Il fortune! say, then,
don't you think it would cost infinite
ly less 10 maintain Il man than to kill
him &C. a.: Stay, let n:c zee this cam
non it is Bange cannon. 1t will
carry II milc<-R. Oh . oh !! that
is fine, And what Il shell ! One
could live in it! (With emotion) 1t
resembles the houses with pointed
roofs in my country. And what a
great deal i! would cost every time this
cannon was fired That would make
-C. severely: Sir, we have
had enough of this subject In wal
each of us sells his lie us dearly as pos
Siblc, but he scarcely troubles himself
to know at what price he will be kill-
ed-R. : No doubt! no doubt We al
so, when we make war. do our best t0
Kill, but we make use Of this flourish
ing an enormous club, which served
him for canej. With Il well applied
stroke this has exactly the same effect,
and is not so dear. Don't you think
you might do better to make use of it ?
And then, when we have killed our
man, we eat him afterwards. In this
way it is all profit. Couldn't you do
better also THE clock struck the
hour for closing, and with deep bow
King Raraholutu fastened to reach
the gate, while the Colonel clutched
his sabre convulsively, and 1 was
heartbroken to miss the end of the di-
alogue. Now, do you not find that
lhi; was good little King, although
somewhat Of cannibal? Faith, ]
should like to live under his govern
munt.
On. cite, Prof Political Economy al
.NonIJcticr.