The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1890-02-22
"UNcl.E THOMAS"
A Tramp Who Worked the gentleman"
Racket but wearied of It

| A Tramp Who Worked the "Gentlemnn
Baoket but Wesried Of 1t.
The city marshal of a small town in Indi-
ana having informed me that he had bad
expostor" /, the town lookup, and that |
could see him II so desired, it was only nat
ural that curiosity should be aroused. | went
over TO find a clean shaven, respectable look
inc man in broadcoth, and when we had been
left alone, on pretense that he wanted TO
consult legal authority" no offered me
cigar, crossed his legs, and complacently re-
marked:
"Well, the bottom has dropped out at last
and I'm burned glad of it, | hain't felt bit
happy for the last three months Look at
mel Dye 'spose decent tramp would rec
ognize or have anything to do with me
logged out in this fashioni Regular broad
cloth, this suit is, and I've got on regular
undershirt, same as governors wear, and reg
ular socks and linen collars Is 1t any won
der hain't had good nights sleep in long
weeks, and that my liver is out Of order and
my system running DOWN.
"You are not what you seemT observed
by way of encouragement.
"You've hit the bulls eye, old mani Say,
it's too funny for anything when | think it
over. Sometimes I've laughed till my sides
ached, and then again I've bin SO lonesome
that it seemed as if | must fly"
"Go on with the tale"
He noted the time by new silver watch,
settled himself back on the bench, and be-
gan:
"Down here about three miles lives an old
maid nigh onto 50 years old. She owns the
farm, and a man cousin of hers works it.
I .,s. fpv
cold supper, and the door was hardly open
before Martha flung her arms about my neck
and kissed and Rugged until Jim, the cousin,
had to pull her off,"
Mistaken Identify" remarked.
Exactly. Seems that they had an Uncle
Thomas off somewhere, and that he was sup
posed to be rich and eccentric, and that
fortune teller had told 'em he would come
along in disguise. They tumbled to me for
the old eccentric, and it wasn't over two
toots Of the whistle before ! WAS onto the
racket They didn't ask me any hard ques-
tions, but stuffed me full of good things
piled me into feather bed, kissed me good
night, and that was the beginning of a down
ward career which has landed me where
am. Last night when l struck this Jail, |
began to feel at home for the first time in
twelve weeks If | only had my old duds
my happiness would be complete"
''Did it take them three months to find
that you were not their Uncle Thomas"
at did. They thought | was deceiving
them about my riches, and testing them to
see if they were worthy. They bought me
this watch, clothes, cane, and lot of other
stuff, and was fed on the fat Of the land.
Gained thirty-two solid pounds to prove it.
l used to long to get back into the old duds,
and to sleep under a straw stack and to steal
apples and encounter bulldogs, but had to
play my part. | knew that l had soft
thing, and prudence warned me to hang on
to it."
show did they discover your identityF
"Well, she went Off to neighbours, and
Jim was working in a back lot. Along came
three of the boys, and l YVES SO glad to see
'em that Rugged each one in my arms and
then invited em into the house. They had
eaten and drank their I'll and gone before
heard anything drop told 'em who was
and what a snap had, and I'll be hanged If
jim, who had come up for water, didn't hear
1t all He posted right of to town, got the
officers, and here am. / want you to do me
q favor"
W
"They'll hev to turn me loose, for hain't
broken no law. l want to send these clothes
and this watch back to Martha and Jim, and
want you to get me something more in keep
ing with my station-something an old tramp
will feel at home in. Pve been guilty of de-
ception, but really couldn't help myself.
It's the first time ever put on clean shirts
once week, washed my face once day, and
tried to sleep respectfully, and promise you
it shan't happen again. It's human to err,
you know"
Iarranged at the hotel for some old clothes
and carried them over, and as he united the
bundle Uncle Thomas" said:
Most too respectable, but I'll doctor 'em
little A thousand thanks to you. By Wis
time tomorrow I'll be ten miles away, dodg-
Ing tho dog at the gate and working the back
door for cold vittles. Won't it seem goodl
Won't | roll up into ball and have solid
old snooze in some fence corner tomorrow
night! Thanks, again. But for your disin-
terested kindness | might have been COM
pelled to go out Of here all dressed up, and
under false pretenses, and it would have
taken me month to convince the boys that
was born TO the purfesh, and loved 1t for
itself alone New York Sun