Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1890-09-08
ON A LOAD OF Hay.

and blown in his glass, and it panied
him to eat his victuals from linen that
didn't have The Elms emblazoned on it.
he told me to come and surprise him
any time, and shoot in his preserves and
stay till business compelled me to come
to town again. He had no doubt heard
that never surprised any one, and never
went away from home very much, and
so thought it would be safe. Therefore
| went just went to teach him a val
liable lesson. When go to visit man
2 for week he is certainly going away a
better man, or else punishment is of no
avail, and the Christening rod entirely
useless in his case.
The Elms was misnomer. 1t should
have been called The Shagbark or The
Doodle Bugs Lair. 1t was supposed TO
mean wide sweep of meadow, vine
covered lodge, a broad velvet lawn and
carriage way, where the drowsy locust,
in the sensuous shadow of magnanimous
elms, gnawed a file at intervals through
the day, while back of all this the
NOISY and gray whiskered front and
corrugated brow of the venerable archi-
tectural pile stood off and admired itself
in the deep and CLASSY pool at its base.
In the first place none of the yeomanry
for eight miles knew that he called his
old, malarial tank The Elms, so it was
hard to find. But when described the
looks of the lord of The Elms they wank
at each other and wag-ged their heads
and said, ''Oh hell, yes, we know him"
or words that We're still even less eu-
phonious than that.
When | got there he was down cellar
sprouting potatoes, and his wife was
hanging out upon the clothes line pair
of gathered summer trousers that were
evidently made for man who had been
badly mangled in a saw mill
The Elms was not even picturesque,
and the preserves were out of order.
was received with the same cordiality
which you detect on the face of any
other kind of detected liar. He wanted
to be regarded as a remarkable host and
landed proprietor without being really
hospitable. | remained there at The
Elms for two days, rubbing rock salt
and Cayenne pepper into the wounds of
my host, and suggesting different names
for his home, such as The Tom Tits
Eyre, The Weeping Willow, The Crook
Neck Squash and The Muskrat's Re
treat. Then l came away. His old look
of apprehensive cordiality did not leave
him until he had seen me climb on a
load of hay with my trunk and start for
home.
SO when | put a May-Agnes-Fleming
mama on INV rIaca I NAV no at .1yla,,
write piece for the paper, it is mostly
done. to be mischievous.
The Catskills are full of people this
summer, and presume there is larger
population of "boarders," as we are
called indiscriminately than ever before;
for the number of available points to
which the victims of humidity and poor
plumbing may retreat in summer time
is constantly on the increase. while, so
far as know, all the private and public
boarding places are filled to their utmost
capacity. This means good deal when
one considers the great area of country
called the Catskills Everywhere the
gaudy boarder in fiannels and ecru shoes
looms upon the green lawn or the brown
dirt road, or scales the mountain today
and stays in bed the following week,
rubbing James 3. Ponds Extract on his
swollen joints.
/ scaled Mount Utsayantha short
time ago in company with others. We
picked out a nice hot day, and selecting
the most erect wall of the mountain,
facing west, we scaled it in such a way
that it will not have to be done again
till new scales grow out on it.
Mount Utsayantha is 1866 feet above
sea level, and has brow which reminds
me of mine. 1t is broad, massive and
bleak. The foot of the mountain is more
massive, however. From the top of the
mountain one gets view of six or seven
states with good glass, was told. Pos
sibly there were that many in sight,
though at this season of the year states
look so much alike that it takes an ex-
pert to pick them out readily. When
states are moulting it is all can do to
tell Vermont from Massachusetts. One
gets nice view from this mountain
and highly exhilarating birch beer.
Albany can be distinctly seen with a
glass-a field glass, l mean, not a glass
of birch beer. Some claim that the nub
of Governor Hills boom may be seen
protruding from the state house with
the nude vision. Others say they can
see the Green mountains, and as far
south as the eye can reach. We took
two hours and half for the ascent
of the mountain, and came down in
about twenty minutes. We descended
ungracefully-the way the Irishman
claimed that the toad walked, viz, "git
up and sit down."
Mount Utsayantha-I use the accepted
photography as found in the Blackhawk
dictionary-has legend also Many
centuries ago this beautiful valley was
infested by the red brother and hfs
bronze progeny. Where now the red
and blue blazer goes shimmering through
the swaying naples, and the girl with
her other dress on and her straw colored
canvas cinch knocleth the croquet ball
gayly west, once there dwelt an old chief
whom we will call Polka Dot, the pride
of his people. He l. liked somewhat like
William Maxwell Evarts, but was
heavier set man. Places where old Polka
Dot sat down and accumulated rest for