Arizona weekly citizen., 1890-09-13
FRYIN PAN.
Ills Advice to an Inexperienced and
 Wayward Man.

UayWaFd Man.
 Everybody knows him. Although not the best looking man in town, he is cer- tainly tho best hearted; besides, he is the most reliable encyclopedia of hu- man adversities, which, coupled with his loquacious nature, renders him an en- tertaining individual, especially so when he has successfully manipulated the copper" We found him on the Feast ground last night in the above condition: he had on anew suit of clothes, and was viewing the vast throng in a philosophi- cal manner. Stepping up to him, we enqulred the cause of his sudden affiu ence. Bob" said he, T might always have been as l now am, but on these very grounds is where I met my mis- fortune. It was a girl" Dropping back into his old habits again, he filled his pipe from our slender stock. and pro ceeded to give US the following advice. "A man who goes promenading around old Levin's Park looking for a "ife, is a good deal like a prospector hunting for a mine. You see them all fzzled up and rigged out in silk, and powdered and painted wherever her skin shows itself. These surface croppings look pretty well, but If you locate on the strength of them, you'll get fooled every time. 4 woman of that kind is just like a salted mine. Don't you take any stock in her. She won't wash. If you want to prospect such a location little further, slide up and take an assay of her con versation. Three per cent of intelligence, twenty-f of fashionable etiquette, and the balance can be played straight up for dup.Ic; 7 and conceit. Drop her right away; such rock won't pay to mill If you got a pateRt for tle claim you can bet you'd never see a dividend come out of it as long as you lived. The assessments to keep the upper works in repair and the lower levels from caving in, would land you in the poor house on lightning express, and some morning you'd wake up and ind your claim located by somebody else"
 Such solid advice induced us to spend a quarter at the Wigwam, and the in vestment was judiciOus, as we obtained some more advice.
 'When you find a plain girl in a com mon sort of dress, continued Pan, "dOn't leave her. I have found one at last. She IS not pretty, but then surface indi- cations don't amount to much. Rich streaks of conversational quartz and spurs of intelligence show up finely the deeper you go. That's the kind of mine to freeze to. l am going to locate it as soon as l make another winning, and get out my patent papers, and then I'll have bonanza to fall back on for the balance of my days. Old fellow, if you think the good claims arc all taken up, you're badly fooled. The town is full of them. I'm an old timer here, and have seen a good deal, and if my time wasn't taken up with my own mine, I could show you lots of prime locations only waiting for some practical man to come along and develop. 4 wOman's heart, Bob, is a mighty curious thing Take it all, its spurs, ramiticatIOns and sinUOsities, and it's more of a puzzle aud mystery than this San Augustine Feast. Some fellows try to work it, and by pure luck strike 1t rich right off, in places where experienced chaps never supposed there was anything. Getting the title to the property ain't the only thing; it's keeping up the proper developments and seeing other fellows don't get in and jump your claim. Some of these domestic mines require an awful lot of money for machinery, and some of them can be run on about nothing. Whenever you get one Ofthem and find you cannot run 1t to advantage, the best thing to do Is to throw up your job as superin- tendent ana shut down the works"
 At this iuncture a young man of Irish" extraction happened to stroll by in company with a rather comedy damsel, which sight made Pans eyes turn green, and he started off in pur- suit, followed by the athletic form of King William