Tombstone epitaph., 1890-03-29
Imnslitent WarbIingS.

 : language, and, by implication. the | constitution of the United States. 1 l this rule were of general applicability if no one were entitled to vote, ol hold office, until he used the English language with respect, and compre hended the constitution, it is greatly to be feared that the mass of our hay seed and cow-county lawmakers in state and national legislatures would be relegated to the shades of obscur- ity with suddenness that would be appalling and blighting, but which would possess the merit of justice.
 But I submit that ignorance of the language in which the country of ones adoption, its institutions and their workings are damned from sea to sea, is not disadvantageous; rather is it beneficial; a qualification enabling the individual to become an excellent citizen The fountain of his political ideas being accessible to all alike, is as likely to be polluted in one interest as another; and his inclinations not be- ing liable to impedition by his judg- ment, he is apt to vote right about one half the time, which is as much as can be expected of any one of us, and certainly more than most of us do. It is to be hoped that Judge Sloan will consider this when Governor Wolhey applies, and thus mitigate somewhat the rigidity of his require ments for citizenship.
 When the Creator was giving out brains, our shining patriot, Governor Wolhey, must have been overlooked. However, do not know if the Creator was much to blame about it, for to the casual glance, the outward appear ance of the Governor suggests super f1uity of brain, which fact might have had some bearing upon Creative ac- ton. The stupendous expanse of fore head, the mere corrugation of which seems to start his braln (so- called) from its roots, causing a convulsion of the gray matter which ought to throw off corruscations of wisdom as decaying phosphorescent organic matter scintil- lates light, is very imposing. As long as his mouth is shut, wisdom appears to exude from every pore in an olea- ginous stream. But alas how decep tive are appearances. An instants att tention to his discourse, and every ra tional being feels that the world would be happier, if every time the Governor opened his mouth he filled it with pork and beans. a
 am provoked to these reflections by his published report upon Arizona, in which he struggles with the Eng fish language in "catch as catch can" style. He seems to fear it nightly, from the manner in which he miSuses it; fears that it will "down" him if he gives it the slightest advantage. His premonitions have been fulfilled, though he seems not to have realized it. Like truth crushed to earth, his native tongue has risen and taken fall out of the crusher-secured the best "two in three," falls, too.
 When Wolfey was nominated for Governor of Arizona, to the uttermOst ends of these United States, permeated the ''wail of woe;" he was universally execrated; in no part of the world could be found any one but Secretary Noble hardy enough to speak good word for him; he was literally friend less. Day by day as the returns came malefactions was large. No part of this country wherein he had had the temerity to pitch his tent was unheard of, and all reports showed that he was singularly handy in misdoing. Pro- bably the most interesting of his feats was his performance in Louisiana, for which his services were gently but firmly dispensed with by the govern ment That mischance so dispirited him for time that he directed him self hitherward, and after a few years of obscurity and-we all had hoped repentance, he emerged, and once more the blaze of his neighbor's opin- ions tanned his pachydermatous hide. Intellectually, however, for when it was suggested to him that he desist from his quest, he had the indiscrelion not to comply; he persisted; Noble in- sisted; and his opponents had no further heart for vigorous prosecu ton of the case against him. Public opinion pronounced his determination admirable and worthy of emulation by American youth. And now he has added another cabbage leaf to the wreath upon his bald brow by writing