River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1890-07-10
I am going to show you that I can cure

/ ~ Al q WI y otASA = AtAAiNs
He took up a a small bottle, shook it,
and handing II TO the patient, said:
Take a couple of swallows" The man
obeyed. The doctor continued: The
first thing to be done is to clear up that
! tongue No man with tongue like
that can feel we'll. Open your mouth.
/ All. wait a moment" lie inserted a
small instrument, and then, to the as
/ constituent of every one, peeled the
] thick coating from the mans tongue and
| held up the coating to be viewed by the
| audience. 'Nothing slow about my
medicine, gentlemen. Works like a
| charm. One or two doses of it taken in
time will prevent a long spell of fever.
How do you feel now?" addressing the
| patient.
| much better"
'Back ache?'
"Not much"
scot any appetite?"
al believe that ] can eat something,
sir"
GRASSY taste in your mouth?"
'No, sir, not now"
''Take bottle of my wonderful medi-
cine and get down. Anybody else-ah!
| here comes a man that's bilious as a
/ goat. Climb up, sir. Hold out your
tongue. My stars, did anybody ever
/ see such a tongue? Here, take about
three swallows of this Bile Bounccr.
How do you feel?"
! Awful"
Take some more of the medicine.
| Now, let me see what can do for you"
lie peeled the patients tongue and
held the peeling up in view of the aud
fence. just as easy, gentlemen. as
I shucking an ear of corn. | always carry
such specimens of coating with me.
How do you feel now, podner?'
''First-rate.''
'Hop down. All, here's another one.
Climb right up, sir. Even a one-eyed
man at half glance can tell that you
are as bilious as a swamp frog. My
/ gracious, look at this tonguer'
A murmur of establishment went
\ through the crowd.
How long mas it been since you ate
any thing?'
| ''Two days"
$40 you feel like eating any thing?''
| ''No. sir"
Suppose order you beef steak?"
81 can't eat it."
''Well, we'll see about that. Here,
/ boy, go over to that restaurant, and tell
/ them to send me over big steak.
/ Now turning to the patient, take
/ about four swallows of the Bile
| Bouncer. Now we are getting at it.
Hold out your tongue. All, the triple
/ plated stuff is about ready" He peeled
/ the fellows tongue. The audience
gazed and CAPPED in astonishment.
| Hero comes the steak. Do you think
that you can cat it?"
'''Yes, sir
He devoured it voraciously The
crowd shouted "Now. gentlemen"
said the doctor. 81 think that have
given you sufficient cause to believe in
( my medicine. / sell it for three dollars
per bottle"
He couldn't hand il out fast enough.
/ He remained three Days and then dis
appeared. Shortly alter he had gone
man called on a resident physician and
/ said:
Doctor, am very bilious and would
like to get some medicine"
Are you not one OF the men who got
up on the wagon when that patent
medicine fellow was here?''
''Yes, sir"
"Then why don't you take some of his
medicine?"
The man smiled. 1--WE got no faith
4 in molasses and water" said be.
well but how did it clear up your
tongue?'
You see it was this way: The fell
low gave me five dollars to let him put
a white India rubber covering on my
tongue. He's got all sizes of tongue
! coats. Very smart fellow. Better let
me have little blue mass, / reckon. -
Arkansaw Traveller.