Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1890-08-11


Island, and asks to know if the island
has society for the prevention of cru
city to animals.
1t has, Mrs. Skinner McPhelim it has
It is one of the most pungent and vocif-
erous societies for the prevention of
good that we have, according to reports.
Agents of the organization make it very
hot for people who own animals, If am
correctly informed in the matter, and
advise you, if you hope to spend the
heated term on Staten Island, to leave
your carriage horses and other heir
looms at the fiat, where they will not
be disturbed. Owners here have been
stopped on the street, arrested and fined,
in fact, for not shoeing their horses,
while as matter of fact they were too
poor to even shoe their children. Mis-
guided philanthropy is as injurious to
the public welfare as the live rat caught,
kerosened and ignited by farmer in,
northern Vermont last season. He drove
away all the other rats, also the farmer
and his family, by burning down the
whole ranch In his nice warm little
room at the poorhouse this summer the
farmer says to his wife as he inserts an
other little titbit of mush and molasses
among his whiskers, 1.-THE overzealous
and i'll guided ass is sometimes as dan
gerous to marssH1 as the level headed
rogue" -
The Society rr4Srs Prevention of
Cruelty to Anim;ds arrested widow
woman on the highway for tying to-
gether the hind limbs of female hog,
or swinette, which was being transport
ed from one point to another. Those
who have handled hogs know that it is
absolutely necessary to tie their legs if
they are conveyed by wagon, or they
will jump out. The society removed the
cords, whereupon the hogine leapt out
of the wagon and broke her leg. Pre-
yention people not only sometimes do
not frequently know how to handle
hogs, but also they do not know how to
prevent cruelty. / could name some
more of the instances reported, but these
will suffice to show you that the society
is iourishing, several of the agents do
ing a very thrifty business who have al
ways failed at everything else in life.
The following note comes from Tro-
jan who has suffered otherwise:
TRoY, July 10, 1890
Ma BILL NYE: Kindly give us your experiences
at and opinion OF a clam bake one OF the most
ridiculous institutions of the United States Very
respectfully,
ONE WHO WAS THOROUGHLY DrsoUsrED AT ONE
OF THEN
Clam bakes are not always unsuccess-
full. Even if they are unsuccessful from
your own point of view they might not
be from the standpoint of the man who
prepares them. was one of a small
party of plain American citizens who
bought out clam kiln and collie works
last season at Long Branch. had been
accustomed to life among the lowly in
years past, having been born of poor but
extremely brainy parents. had also
lived in the wild and woolly west, where
CLAIMS and other specimens of insect life
are regarded with distrust. There you
can buy, or could at the time l lived
there, a hind / of elk for $3.50, hang
1t in your wood shed and feed
good sized family on it for week. So
said to friend or two: Here is a
natural product of the soil, the cheapest
and commonest of Gods impervious
fauna, the low browed and weak minded
clam. We will get some one to bake
some for us, then we will eat water
melon and play that we are amenable to
no law, but that we are free and unfet-
tered, and as careless of human life as
steam heating company or a young ply
sician." We ordered no wine, but just
CLAIMS and watermelon.
Another party from New York also
ordered a clam bake at the same time,
80 that the same kiln dried all the CLANS
In baking CLAIMS you heat a lot of stones
in hot fire, throw them in hole along
with your CLAIMS, green corn, ground
feed, ETC., etc. You then cover ND the
mass, and go away fishing or pitching
horse shoes till you smell something.
That is the clans. You then borrow
six-tine pitchfork, such as is used by our
best livery stable people, and fork out
your clans and green corn, serving hot.
Guests will wait on themselves. After
the clans are served you load large
shotgun with hot fence nails and collect
the bill.
ate the left lobe of three underdone
Waterbury CLAIMS, an ear of hot seed
corn and slice of soured and pessimistic
watermelon. My bill was $23-that is
exclusive of nurses and medical attend
ance
l do not care for clans, anyway.
cannot come up with clam. l some
times feel that would like to, but 1 can
not. Neither can my boots.
was quite i'll after ate these CLAIMS.
having thrown away the most digestible
part, viz, the shell, and foolishly eaten
the clam. On the steamer coming home
many people who had been greatly dis
appointed all day in the matter of enjoy
ment came up on deck. watched my gyra-
tions few moments, and went home
peaceful and contented. At the wharf.
some of those who had been down to
Manhattan Beach to see Pains ''Siege Of
Vera Cruz" and We're bitterly disap-
pointed, came to where / was gnawine
an old anchor and moaning with an in
ward pain, and after seeing me suffering
went home stating that they had more
than got their money back.
The New England clam bake costs less
money, but is almost equally fatal to me.
II you hear of my eating another clam
bake you can safely say to yourself that
when did it was under the influence
OF liquor. Some siren with bleached hair
and merry ogling eye may meet me ON
the beach and drug me, and feed me q