davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1890-10-03
A Calf That Reasored

We learn that an amusing incident occur
red at the home Of Mr. S. NJ Jones, near
Bethel, last week. Among the cattle was a
calf that seemed to possess very great dis
like to being roped at milking time and
always made quite to do when the rope
was adjusted One morning Mrs. Jones went
out to attend the milking and upon looking
in the accustomed place for the rope failed to
find it. While the search for it was going on
the calf thought, perhaps, to get more than
his share of the milk, but something seemed
to interfere with the imbibing process, and
his peculiar actions attracted attention to
him. Whereupon it was discovered that the
calf had swallowed the rope, but failed to
make complete job of it, as the moose was
hanging from one corner of his mouth The
moose was laid hold Of and a steady pull
brought the rope to light. The calf is suf-
6cently amused and doesn't swallow any
more ropes to evade being tied.-Gleenville
IN. c. Reflector.
The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1890-10-03
A Bear in Church.

During divine services on recent
Sunday, bear, which had escaped from
the stable of neighboring public house,
in which its owner, a travelling show
man was located, entered a chapel, near
Mortlake, England. Women shrieked
and children cried, and there was gen.
eral rush for the door. The bear, round
whose neck was thick chain, made its
way to the empty choir stalls, where 1t
lay down The minister, whose high
and commodious pulpit had suddenly be-
come occupied by several female mem
bers of his congregation, was in the
midst of his discourse at the time OF the
animals appearance, and had chosen for
his text the words 'Be not afraid" The
sermon was brought to an abrupt termi-
nation. The anxiety of pastor and peo-
pie was set at rest by the arrival of the
owner of the animal. The bear was got
out of the chapel with ease and taken
back to its quarters.-Exchange.
A Mental Wreck.
Omaha Girl-My father wants to marry
again and don't want him to.
Lawyer-He is rich. supposed
eyes"
"Acts little crazy at times, no doubt|
eaN-o"
"Be careful now This is very important.
Didn't you ever see him rave around the
room like madw
''Only when he loses his collar button"
''I'm afraid that won't count. Perhaps he
has softening of the brain, though, and IS
likely to squander his wealth unless put IN
lunatic asylum
ssHe talks about going into business"
ssWhere?'
SIN st. Louis.
81 see. Mental wreck. Omaha World.
The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1890-10-03
PITH AND POINT.

-She-"Yes, DEAR I'm afraid cook
wants Judgment" Judgment! She
wants cution."-Punch.
-"And where's your little brother.
Flossie?" ''Oh we's been divorced. ("
"Divorced?" Yes: mammals got him
and papa's got me. IN. Y. Sun.
-"What so rare as day in June. /"
Indeed, every one knows there's thirty
of 'em every year, and they're gem
orally hot enough to remember, too.
-Citizen-''What do you think of the
proposition to enlist Indians in the
regular army?" Captain Westpoint--
Indians? Pom honah! Why, thew
cawn't dawnce. IN. Y. Weekly.
Gear of Russia Gust out of bed)-
''What has become of my undershirt?"
Valet-"Please your Majesty, the black
smiths putting fresh rivets in it."-Bos-
ton Herald.
There are some people who are so
pleasant when they are absent that
one can almost forgive them for being
so unbearable when they are present.
Boston Transcript.
Miss rabtree-'See what nice shoes
l purchased for five dollars" Miss
Giltman-''Why, these I'm wearing cost
ten dollars" Miss C.-"Well, l sup
pose they charge according to size."
Married Sister-sAnd, of course,
Laura, you will go to Rome or Florence
for your honeymoon" Laura-'sOh,
dear. no! l couldn't think of going fur
ther than the Isle of Wight with a man
l know little or nothing of!"-Punch.
-Tom-"Do you suppose she has
spoken to her parents about the engage
ment yet?" Dick-''I know she has
spoken to her father He met me to-
day and invited me to drink" Tom
''But he's a temperance man" Dick
''Of course, and he wanted to try me-"
Yankee Blade.
The country editor who takes all
his advertisements out in trade will be
gratified to learn that new pill, jNst
patented, will keep a man alive whole
week without eating. All he wants
now to make him happy is liver strip
that will make one suit of clothes last
seventy-fve unconstitutional Publisher
and Printer.
The little Boston boy walked in and
sat down with grieved and disappoint-
ed look on his face. "Why, Osgoodson,"
said his mother, what is the matter?
Have you quarreled with little Elliott
Fields-James?" 81 have not, mamma, "
answered Osgoodson, wiping his glasses,
thoughtfully, ''but can not associate
with person who chews gum"
Uncle Sam-'What's the matter
now?" From tier Citizen-'I stole farm
from the fellow who was on it, and
drove him off, and now he is coming
back with lot of his relatives to kill
me-" Uncle Sam-''Well, you ought to
be killed" Frontier Citizen-''But the
fellow | stole the land from is an In
dian" Uncle Sam-''O, we'll, I'll order
out the army. Omaha World.
Family Doctor-''I should no longer
conceal the truth from you, sir. You
have only a few days to live" Mr.
Levelhead (weakly)-"Then, doctor, 1
wish you would buy me ticket to Eu-
rope and have me placed on board a
steamer" But you could not live to
reach Europe" 81 do not wish to. I
want to be buried at sea, so that my
family will be saved the ruinous ex-
pense of funeral, and have something
left to live on."-N. Y. Weekly.
The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1890-10-03
ABOUT SEASlCKNESS.
All That Submit CheerfulIy Can Benefit
from Its Effects.

All That Submit CheerfulIy Can BE nefit
from It's Effects.
Seasickness must be expected bv
those who cross the ocean, and while
one or two may escape it's attack, all
that submit cheerfully can derive bene-
fit from its effects. Children, as rule,
succumb soonest and rally quickest
due, no doubt, to their simple diet and
to the consequent fact that their stom-
achs are less impairing by stimulating
foods and drinks than those of their
elders. 1t is worth remarking that such
of my acquaintance as enjoy at home
what they pretend is good living" but
which you will agree is eating much of
rich things, and then using coffee,
liquor, tobacco and such stimulants to
quicken digestion people man.
age to obviate, or at least post
pone, the wholesome effect of
seasickness by drinking champagne
or using drugs pretending to cure the
malady; but they succeed only in sub
shutting one complaint for another,
writes Poultney Bigelow to the Illus
trated American. They remain half
sick all the time they are on shipboard,
and take with them on shore demon
allied system that requires many days
for complete recuperation. Children.
on the other hand, and grown-up folks
who have lived on simple diet vomit
freely at the first provocation, and suffer
discomfort for the first day or two, but
enjoy the remainder of the trip in way
to arouse the envy of all that can not
share it, Pale cheeks become rosy, dull
eyes sparkle, the usually listless forget
the sensation of fatigue; those who on
shore slept but seven hours are now
scarce satisfied with ten, and those who
once needed delicacies to coax an appe-
tite select such food as corned beef and
cabbage on pork and beans.
The wise reader needs no advice be-
yond what he may read between the
preceding few lines. He has but to
make up his mind to face with fortitude
the degree OF Neptune, and his reward
will be to find that a supposed penalty
has become blessing.
1t is, perhaps. superfuous to add that
walking or jumping aggravates the
sy mptoms of sickness, and that the mo-
ton of ship increases as one moves
from its center-consequently that the
sufferer is most comfortable when he is
lying down as near as possible to the
middle of the ship, and living on plain
oatmeal porridge. Such advice as this
must seem far too simple to the would
he traveller by sea, who finds at every
drugstore remedies warranted to ease
his feelings on the waves; but my adj
vice is founded upon much inquiry, not
to speak of extensive personal expert
ence in this field of pain and pleasure
The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1890-10-03

PRESIDENT. tor all Senator has to do ia
to ''spat his hands and the pages do
all the work for him. Fred answers to
the name OF Swipes and says he is sure
it will never offend his dignity, not
even when he becomes Senator, to be
known by that pseudonym.
In the bestowal of nicknames the
pages seem to delight in contrariety.
For example, Mckee Cochrane, who is
OF an extreme blonde type, is called
Ethlope, and Albert Mackey, whose ex-
ceeding generosity has made him the
favorite OF the group, is called Shylock
Events in the careers of the boys also de-
termine their nicknames, as in the case
OF Logan Harris, handsome little fell
low with bright, twinkling eyes, who is
called Pie because when he was being
initiated to the secrets of page etiquette
he was informed, and he believed, that
it was his conventional duty to buy a
round of pie at the Senate restaurant
for all of the other pages. He bought,
along with this experience, the name
which will not leave him, at least until
he quits the atmosphere of the Senate
To interview" a Senator who has
nothing to say has been adjudged by
newspaper men pretty difficult thing
to do. But compared with interviewing
fourteen Senate pages who have every
thing to say and are eager to say it all
at once it is as easy as rolling off the
traditional log. l met the boys alto
gether few moments before the SEN
ate was called to order. When they
| learned that / wanted their opinions
The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1890-10-03
-.
PARIS CHILD SLAVES.
The Juvenile Beggar bureaus Likely {,
Be Abolished.

De ADoifsheu.
Last year society was organized in
Paris to prevent the trade in children
among professional beggars. In the
first report, inst published, the secre-
tary of the society has catalogued va
rled lot of Partisan institutions which
are occupied exclusively with the EN-.
ployment of little boys and girls in
street beggary Several saloon-keep-
ers and proprietors of small cafes, the
report says, have long had a bureau in
the Rue Marcadet for the employment
of young girls as flower peddlers.
The ages of the girls range between
eight and eleven years. They are let
to the bureau for the day by their par
ents. They are sent out on the boule-
wards in small squads, and are expect
ed to return at night with at least three
francs each clear profits on their sales.
Children whose receipts fall below the
average are sent back to their parents
without wages for their days work.
The bureau mploys now about 100 girls.
Another bureau, situated near the
Pantheon, hires girls between ten and
fourteen years to play musical instru.
ments in the low resorts of the CITY.
The girls are usually taught to strum
on violin or harp in the bureau quar-
tiers during the afternoon, and from nine
to two o'clock at night are kept on the
run from dive to dive.
At two o'clock the children return to
the bureau and are taken home by their
guardians or parents. Each child earns
about seven francs in an evening, and
receives three francs wages. This mu-
steal bureau has sixty children at its
disposal most of the time
A third bureau deals in bows be-
tween eight and twelve years. The
little fellows do ordinary begging and
collect cigar butts. At dark the bows
hand in the money and the refuse to-
bacco they have got together during
the day.
-Four hours every evening the young
Migrants are kept busy cutting, tearing
and sorting the cigar ends They earn
about one franc each daily, and are ex-
pected to net to their employees about
twice that amount At present $50 boys
work for the bureau
The most reprehensible bureau of
which the society received information
makes business of hiring babies in
arms and sending them out into the
streets with women beggars. What
ever the weather or temperature, the
little creatures are exposed by the
women in charge of them on the street
corners, doorsteps and bridges.
The bureau pays each woman wit tn
her baby two francs day. Each pair
brings in six or seven francs every
evening. child usually endures nine
or ten weeks of this outdoor service and
then dies of exposure.
The society has attached the names
of each bureau proprietor to the &C
count of his establishment, and has
called on the French Government to
take measures at once to break up all
the Partisan institutions which buy,
sell and hire children for facilitating
and demoralizing employments.-Pa
Letter
The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1890-10-03
eRAYEYARDs FOR INSOMNIA.
A Chicago Man Wanders at Random
Through the Avenues of a Cemeterv.

A Chicago Man Wanders at Random
Through the Avenues of Cemetery.
was discussing with few friends
the other night the hold which certain
superstitions had upon the human
mind, when one of the group, a rathe,
young man, spoke up:
You'll laugh when tell YOU INV
remedy for insomnia. It's nothing more
nor less than a midnight trip through a
graveyard.
Il live in Morgan Park, and between
the Rock Island and the Grand Trunk
roads, just outside the western village
limits, lie Mount Greenwood and Mount
Ohvet cemeteries, side by side.
so, you see, have plenty of oppor-
tunities for dosing myself with nv
grewsome remedy for sleeplessness.
Il first tried the scheme one warm
night in March, when l had vainly re.
sorted to every other remedy to put
myself to sleep. got up, dressed nv
self and sauntered down the main
thoroughfare of the village, having no
particular destination in view.
After walking half or three-uuarters
OF mile neared the two cemeteries.
and suddenly the idea of making a trim
through one of them flashed across nv
brain, which was see.hing and bubbline
as only that of sufferer from insom-
MIA can.
1.-The night was one when about hall
the sky was covered with clouds, and
the full moon would occasionally dis
appear and an inky pail would sud
denly descend upon everything.
"Well, l managed to effect an en-
trance into one of the cemeteries, and
began to wander among the grave
stones and monuments, decipherine
the inscriptions and reading the praises
OF this or that one deceased.
Il am very far from being supersti-
tlous and am not at all a believer in
ghosts, and although my visit was
made at the witching hour of mid
night, when unearthly apparitions are
supposed to visit this world, my mind
was soon in a wonderfully cool and
calm state, and feeling of drowsiness
began to steal over my brain.
1.-The remedy was beginning to work.
had just made up my mind to return
home when l received momentary
shock which came very near upsettine
me-
Il had wandered into that portion OF
the cemetery where the poorer people
are allowed to bury their dead, and was
standing in front of tall wooden head
board. The moon was temporarily be-
hind cloud and everything was dark.
Suddenly the light came, and there
appeared before me the head and shout
ders of man. The figure bore a won
derful resemblance to myself, but that
fact didn't occur to me at the time.
Twas startled for the moment, and
30, dare say, would have been any
man, no matter how stout his heart. A
minute later l saw what it all meant.
"a large mirror had for some pecu-
liar reason been tackled upon the cheap
wooden headboard, and the returning
light of the moon had suddenly flashed
into my eyes the reflection of myself.
went home that night and slept like a
top. have since tried the cemetery
cure a number of times and always
with good results, but I don't recon-
mend it to weak nerved people, Chi.
cago News.
The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1890-10-03

South Dakota, and is peculiarly inter
esting. not to say charming, little fell
low. He is quaint, fair-haired child,
whose delicate physique and sweet
gentle manners bring Oliver Twist con-
stantly to mind. His appearance is that
Of boy-I had almost said girl-of
seven or eight years, but his precision
OF speech and his quiet old-fashioned
ways together with his precocious judg-
meut make him seem more than a
child. He is the sort of lad that moth
ers can not meet without having an IT.
resistible impulse to snatch him up and
Kiss him. With as much sOlemnity as
any Senator in the chamber he ac-
l-nowledges the fitness of the sobriquet
which the older pages have fastened to
him-the Little Lady from Dakota-and
without trace of offense accepts the
title as his own.
Fred Kappeler is also diminutive
lad of thirteen, but is more rugged,
boyish chap. He acknowledges Robert
Porter, the superintendent of census,
as his patron saint. Fred was born in
Switzerland, but in the seven years OF
his residence in America all traces OF
his mother tongue have been obliter-
ated from his English speech. He is
we'll aware that it would take an amend
ment of the constitution to make him
eligible to the Presidency, but he very
contentedly asserts that there is Moth
Ing to hinder him from becoming SEN
ator, and SO far as his observation goes
Senator is more to be envied than .
The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1890-10-03
Candy That Didn't Go Down.

George Harmon, manager Of Central
Music hall, is very fond of candy. Heis
seldom without box of bon bons on his
desk. George has many callers and they
all help themselves to his candy, so he
finds he does not get many sweetmeats
himself in the long run. Hepaysfo for the
candy all the same, and this calling bust
ness has worried him for some time. The
other day he unbosomed himself to his
friend and neighbor, Mr.. Boles, of whom
he buys his candy, and he told him his
plight. "Pll fix it," said Boles; and he
made up a box of very inviting looking
bon bons from common bar soap. These
George put on his desk The first man
to call was Will Shafer, of the Audi
forum hotel. He picked up bon bon,
said Good morning" spat it out, and
then Harmon said: Good morning!
Have you used soap?" Will said he had,
but he would never do it again. Joe
Oliver, of the Peoples, was the next Wis
itor. He took piece of the alleged candy
and then turned pale and went out.
But the victim Harmon was waiting
for his hated rival, Adonis George Fair,
of the Haymarket. Finally Fair dropped
in. "Ah, me boy, these look lovely" he
said as he bit into an alkaline bonbon
For moment his face paled, and then,
rather than look like sucker, he bravely
downed the rest Of the soapy candy.
He did not care to award Harmon the
laugh on him, and he made his bluff
stronger by calmly chewing second one
of the bogus creams. This was too
much, however, and as he talked with
Harmon the soap began to get in its
deadly work, and Fair began to froth at
the mouth. He hastily rushed toward a
West Side car, and was so mad that he
thought the man was getting personal
who handed him handbill announcing
an important meeting of the ''Lathers'
Union" that evening. Now Harmon can
put the choicest corrections on his desk
and have them all to himself Chicago
Herald.
The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1890-10-03
CHICAGO RESTAURANTS.
An Honest Man Who Wanted to Paw but
| xlpsf

1
One OF the Washington writers who came
on to do the convention had labored hard on
Sunday and Sunday night After his work
ne concluded to cool his feversh palate with
glass of Ganbrinus' own and cheese
sandwich de repaired for this purpose to a
place on Clark street and began quietly to
partake of his refreshments
Have you a napkinF' he asked of a
waiter
WhatT shrieked the waiter
| "A napkin"
You wipe yourself nit your haind. We
dond keep no napkins In here"
The Washington man proceeded with his
lunch a few minutes later there was row
In the front end of the house Sixteen wait
ers hoped upon one man Some of these
waters had bottles and one of them had a
cheese knife about as long as a mans arm
The chap who had waited on the Washington
correspondent Joined in the fracas, and tar
rled IN the fun so long that the Washington
man could lind no one to accept his quid pro
quo. He at last concluded to go out at side
door and thus avoid being summoned as a
witness to saloon row He got out into the
alley and was driven back by the crowd, but
was still unable to engage the attention of the
cuap "uC uau Walteu on MIN, dlI1 nnally
went out of the front door, leaving his bill
unpaid He vent to his room, where, during
the remainder of the night, he saw nothing
but the CLEAN of a cheese knife and an in
furiated mob On Monday he went back to
the place and explained to the head man how
he had gone away the night before, leaving
his bill unpaid.
Il don't pelieve it," said the boss 81 nefer
had man do dot way before, You want to
blay me shoak. You gid rigid away ovid
so quick as dot, or | call me Shake and der
sheseknife, und we half some more fun. Gid
OVID You was delegade, pet you"
"Then can't payr said the honest man
from Washington.
mo. you can put it in der slot wild der
scales un weigh yourself by seeing it go. But
don't taig nuddings from you. 1t would
hoodoo der pizness. Chicago Mail
The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1890-10-03
interviewing a Vanderbilt.

The first was Commodore Vanderbilt.
I had often interviewed him before, but
the most interesting talk was on an oc-
casion when l tried to draw a great
Wall street secret from him. | pressed
him so hard that he made no reply at
all until he had led me from his inner
Office out into the street. There he az
vanced to his carriage, and lifting one
foot to the step turned and at last
answered me- This was how he did it
young man, how much do you get
a week?"
told him.
'sYou are worth more" said he.
''Take my advice and leave the news
paper business before you get set in its
ways and can't do anything else Go
into mercantile life. This fooling away
your time with the paper business is
all right while you're young, but you
won't make any more when you're
gray than you do now. Take my adj
vice; good day. Julian Ralph in
Chatter.
The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1890-10-03
kissing Going Out of Fashion.

In the rural regions of our country, as
well as of England, the favorite amuse-
ment at social gathering of young per-
sons is, or until recently has been, sue
cession of kissing games wherein the
most modest girl of the company was sar
lnted by every swain who chose, with as
little embarrassment as if he had been
her mother. But even in the rural dis
t5icts this sort Of thing is passing away,
and the permitted realm of the kiss is
narrowing day by day. Mrs Frank Les
lie.
The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1890-10-03
Eieldings.

A base insinuation-Out on firstE-Pitts-
burg Chronicle-Telegraph.
Muffs are common necessities with the Ia
dies at this time of the year. In summer
they are frequently seen in the baseball field.
where they are not so popular.-BostoD
Budget.
can error gracefully acknowledged, says
Gascoigne, sis a victory won" 1t is very
evident that Gascoigne was lamentably ig-
norant of the first principle of baseball play
ing.-Boston Transcript.
The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1890-10-03
Trouble Breaks Ont Again.

'This," growled the exchange editor,
as he looked at the thermometer, WHIP
ing his perspiring forehead, and glared
defiantly around the room, lis Fry-day."
"And tomorrow" snarled the real
estate editor, consulting the predictions
and grabbing heavy paper weight, lis
going to be a Sadder-day. Chicago
Trihuna
The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1890-10-03

The FACT that the emperor of Russia gave
the empress necklace composed of forty
emeralds has been made public. What the
empress said in private after the bestowal
was something like this; ''You dear old
boobyvoski, why didn't you disguise the
truthovitch and make the number thirUyoff,
or hirty-fvesky, at the most. "-Pittsburg
Ru1Iotip
The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1890-10-03
A Tough Duck.

Mr. links Ito landlady) -What Kind of a
duck did you say this was, Mrs. Dlnklya
Landlady-I didn't say. / simply ordered
duck from the butchers
Mr. Jinks struggling with second joint
II think he has sent you a decoy duck
Texas Siftings.