The weekly messenger. [volume] (St. Martinsville [i.e. St. Martinville] La.) 1886-1948, 1890-12-27
THE JOKER'S BUDGET.
JESTS AND YARNS BY FUNNY
MEN OF THE PRESS.
Artful Jack-Not a Recommendation
An Honest Confessional Wor-
thy Example-A Revised Version,
ETC., etc., etc.

| thy EXample-A heVlSeu SerSlou,
ETC., etc., etc.
ARTFUL JACK.
"Why didn't you write oftener in
answer to my letters, Jack:' she asked,
tearfully.
because, dearest, he remarked, ''yours
were so long and interesting that spent
all the time reading them. y Bazaar.
NOT A RECOMMENDATION
Stranger-Say, mister, did the real
estate man tell you that there's running
water in that house he wants you TO buyl
Brownies. he said so.
Stranger-Well so there is--only it
runs through the roof every time it
rains.
AN HONEST CONFESSION.
Jenkins-Look here, Tyler. Ny
friends are all guying me about this suit
of clothes. | thought you said you never
kept clothes out of style.
Tylcr-I don't keep 'em-I sell 'em.
Il America.
NOK1H1 EXAMPLE,.
Mrs. Trotter-Jane, didn't hear you
say lin the soup" just now?
Jane-Ies, ma.
Mrs. Trotter-Well, you don't want to
say it again. It's vile slang. Pattern
after me in your language if you want to
be up to snuff Inter
REVISED VERSION
Mr.. Bingo-Well, Tommy, what did
you learn at Sunday school to-day?
Tommy learned how to say grace.
Mr.. Bingo-Let's hear it.
Tommy (meekly)-lt only goes with
two pieces of cake New York Herald.
WOULD LOSE ONE SUIT.
Teacher-If you had suit of clothes
and some one should give you another,
how many would you have?
Willie Slimson-One.
Teacher-Now, Willie, how do you
make that out?
Willie-My little brother Bobbie would
have the other.
DIDN'T WANT LEAD.
Wife (nudging husband at midnight
There's a burglar down stairs, and he'll
get our silver if you don't go down and
drive him away
Husband (philosophically)-Yes, and
if do so I'll get his lead. think I'll
stay where am, my dear Epoch.
HUMBLED THE PoMPoUs CASHIER.
There is pompous cashier in certain
San Francisco bank who lost all his pride
the other day.
''You must be identified,' he said to
tall, hook-nosed woman in green, red
and blue, who brought in check at a
time his window was crowded.
"Well, I-I-why--I--nO, it cayn't
be! Yes, it is. too. Amt you Henry
Smith?"
That's my name, madam" he replied
coldly.
"An' you don't know me, Hen2 I'm
changed some, an so air you; but jist
knOwed I'd seen We. You've got that
same old cast in your left eye, your nose
crooks little to the left. and you're
Smith all over. An you don't me
Don't know Salindy Spratt that you
useter coax to become Salindy Smith
Member how We useter haul me to school
on your sled an kiss me in the lane an
call me your little true love? Member
how We cut up cause gave We the nit
ten9 Land, Hen, l could stand here all
day talkin' over them old times! You
kin identify me now, can't you, Henri
ellen" did so, but in mood that al
most produced apoplexy.-[San Fran
cisco Wasp.
TOO MUCH OF AN ExERTIoN.
Patient-Im all run down, Doc, and
want something to brace me up.
Doctor-As l remember it, Mr..
Featherly, you have good constitution.
You must have over-taxed your strength.
Patient haven't been doing any
thing for month, Doc, except to hope
that our bowling club would win
game.
LIFE-SAvER.
ga great many people owe their lives
to that DOCTOR" said Kicklington.
"Is he an able physicianr'
ut isn't exactly that that referred to.
he is never in his office when you want
him. Washington Post.
TOO BAD.
''You must write a regret, John. Il
can't 60 to the Bronson's dinner"
"Why not? Didn't your dress comeYr
"Yes-but the dentist hasn't sent my
eeth."-[Epoch.
TIME Is PRECIOUS.