Chicago eagle. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1889-19??, 1890-01-11
PLEASANT PARAGRAPHS.

BOUNCING DaDY SHOULD he lmDueu
with elastic spirits.
II you would avoid the suspicion of
YOUR neighbors, never carry your mo-
lasses in a demijohn. -
ToNn1Y-I wish / had a little
brother Mamma You do? Tommy
Yes, | do; I'm tired of kicking the
cat.
~WHAT is your salary, DIR. Stiggins!"
NJ salary said the clergyman
slowly. is $4,000 But my pay is
$1,000
Mas WATTS What a sweet child
your Willie is. He's a perfect little
angel, / think. Mrs Potts-No, not
quite he takes after his father in some
Of his ways.
TEAcHER-You have been stealing
apples to-day again from Smiths
orchard What shall | do with you?
Oh Johnnie, Johnnie, | am afraid we
shall yet meet in Jail
LITTLE GIRL observation-disclosures,
when are the Indians coming on?
Mother Hush dear, there are no In
dams. Little girl-Then who scalped
all tub lutl III GH6 lIOHb StdJS
"JoGGINs was in hilarious mood last
night. He came home late singing "a
song of six-pence He did," "Yes,
and from the way they bulged out, he
must have had his pockets full of old
rye"
Mr.. BLooDGooD Ito Miss SpitefuD---
Can you tell me what Miss SOuthmayd
is about? Miss Spiteful (who has been
laying for chance to give away Miss
Southmayd's age-About thirty, be-
lieve.
IRIS too bad that the Bloffets are
moving out of the neighborhood, isn't
it?" TOO bad? Why, Bloffet was
terrible nuisance with his cOrnet.'
Yes, but now that he is leaving, the
rents will go up"
ALL the same.-Mabel (to Jack, who
is about to drink her health for the
ninth time)--Oh, I wouldn't, Jack!
Drink to me only with thine eyes, in
stead. Jack-AlI right. Well-er-
here's looking at YOU
Mrs. RAzzLE- What terrible wreck
young Perkins is. to be sure. 1t is sad
to see such dissipated man. Mrs.
Dazzle-Yes, indeed, but you must re-
member that he was admitted to the
bar at very early age.
EFFECTS of carousal. First UNI
brella-Oh, dear! My ribs ache and |
am sore all over. Second umbrella
Well, / should think you would be.
You were pretty well soaked when you
were brought home last night.
MAUD-Yesterday we spoke of the
misfortune of losing ones good name.
Mr. Wisehead- but it is not such
a terrible misfortune for lady to lose
her good name when young gentle
man gives her better one, is it p
Mr.. ScADDs Con his sick-bed to his
nephew, Jack-My only care is what
will become of my large business and
all the real estate which 1 bought on
/ speculation? Jack Scadds-Don't
worry, uncle; just leave that to me.
MORE essential than the al phabet -
Editor TO foreman) Well, what's the
matter? Foreman-Isn't there any
way we could get barrel of apOstro
Plies sir? The printers haven't half
got enough with that dialect story you
sent up, and our stock is most ex-
nausted
He saw him. Mrs. Fangle-Did you
see DR.. Bigpill last night, dear? Fan
gle Observation-Disclosures, | saw him
and went him several bettor-I
mean. | saw him for a moment only,
and forgot to tell him to call and pre-
scribe for you. I'll telephone to him
as soon as [ get to the Office.
WE'LL SEE.
NV love ne'er answers yes or no
To questions asked by me-
think he's tantali2in'
For he always says, Well see"
When questioned by the priest in church.
l know II worried be-
For fear he'll answer not II will,
But in its stead, Well see.
-JUdge.
WHERE are you going?' inquired
Mrs. Squeebob, as Mr.. S. started out
of the theater when the curtain went
down" Il think heard an alarm OF
fire." he responded, solicitiously, land
! will go and see about it, Ten min
utes later he returned. 1t wasn't
fire. he said, briefly. And it wasn't
water" she replied, with a significant
sniff.
Old JoupS> StOry AbOut the DOGS