New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1890-03-19
JONAH's GREAT PERT.


of him ustbecause Billings was too mean
to heat the blamed old tank.
'tBut Billings couldn't see it. He was
down on Jonah, and used to make him
rehearse with the sailors every morning.
He said that they must learn to make
more splash with him, so for three
hours day they tried him feet first,
head first, and every other way. Then
he experimental with the whale.
4 want to improve his internal ma
chinery,' said Billings, so that he'll look
sicker when the cue comes for Jonah to
land The audience sometimes haven't
paid much attention to the play, and
out here in the west they re little weak
on Scripture, SO that when the whale. be-
gins to cut up they are naturally curious
to know what he's been eating that
should make him feel that way. Then
when they see Jonah they say, this
amt realism; that whale ought to have
been darned sight sicker" We must
try to bring this thing up to an artistic
standard
Zone day out in Cheyenne; when the
receipts weren't big enough to pay the
whales board, Billings got desperate
he told Jonah that the play was too
sombre in its tone-needed something to
liven it up-and he suggested that they
should introduce dead calm after the
storm scene and let Jonah come out
upon the roof of the whale and do
song and dance. They tried this trick
for one night, but it didn't work, and
at the next town the Sheriff levied on
the company's effects. He put on his
attachment right in the middle of the
storm, just after the whale had closed
his little arrangement with Jonah.
"Old Monty heard what was going on,
and he just lay still and said nothing.
He knew that Billings would skip out
and leave the company to find it's way
back to New York along the track. The
ghost hadn't walked for two or three
weeks and Jonah was broke, so it OCCUR
red to him that he would wait till he
found out which way they were going
to ship that whale before he made his
presence known. 1t turned out just
right for Monty. The whale was sold
at auction next day to the representa-
tive of metropolitan museum, and
Monty and the whale were put aboard
freight car, tagged for the Bowery.
. The prophecy of the Scripture is
fulfilled, said Monty, and the whale
takes Jonah back to dry land again.
About the morning of the second
day out. however, Jonah got hungry.
he tried to make an exit through the
whales mouth, but the Sheriff had nail
ed 1t up. Then he took his jack knife
and cut a hole in the whales side big
enough to get his head and one hand
out, and he fixed it SO that he coulI
tack up the flap of the whales hide when
anybody was looking. When this was
all fixed he stuck his head out and took
an observation. There was nobody in
sight, but right under the lee of the
whale was rev of dinner pals left there
by the train hands.
What was the mama in the wilder
ness to this, said Jonah, as he pulled
dinner-pail inside the whale 1t was
nearly two days since he had tasted food,
and one dinner was only an appetizer.
So he reached out for another pail.
This was how 1t happened that the
train hands, when they came to dinner,
found nothing but row of empty pals.
Jonah, safe and satiated, heard some
language which did not encourage him
to come out. Oh, no; he stayed right
there. and landed in New York safe and
sound.
Well. the whale was finally hauled to
the dime museum and dumped into the
tank. and by and by Jonah heard them
letting the water in. Then the dime
museum lecturer began to tell the audi
ence how the whale had been captured
near the place where the latest inyesti-
cations indicated that the Jonah Incl
dent had occurred. He said that the
marks on the whales teeth showed
that his age was about right to fit the
story.
How wonderful it would be, he
continued, if this should be the same
whale, and if within his interior he
SHOULD still contain reMcs Of the illustri-