Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1890-01-22
A 6reenhorn In Texas.

A Greenh0rn In Texas.
Correspondence of the staunton SPECTATOR,
SAN DIEGO, TEXAS, Jan. 2, 1890.
Three or four years ago tall, "dudish"-
looking fellow ''struck" this section of
Southwest Texas, and from his dress, con-
versation and manner generally, the old
s'residenters" were convinced he was
s'green from the States.'
| The real name of our hero we will not
give in full. He may be q Congressman
some day, then we might regret it, but in
this land of nicknames, where short man
is called "Shorty,' fat man is called
| s'Fatty," our hero, because dame Lature
had provided him with lower limbs some
what over the average length, was called
"Legs," and while we will not describe
"Lees's, dress, otherwise than that il was
different from the dress worn here, and
was ''topped off, with an unusually
TALL SILK hat
and which, though being the only dress
hat iD the older States and in cities, is dis
carded altogether by stockmen and farmers,
and in this country where clothes and
head gear are worn for service and not for
fashion, even lawyers, doctors and MINIS
ters do not wear them.
HIS PANTS. COAT AND VEST
were all in different colors, all being manu-
factured out of large plaid materials, and
bright colors, with gold headed cane in
one nand and white umbrella in the other,
"Legs" walked our streets. followed by the
smiles of the .'Gripgo," and the drawing
up, or Struggling of the shoulder of the
"Greasor" as he passed. "Lsgs" boarded
at the best hotel, spoke to everybody,
talked with everybody that would talk with
him, gave his name, where he was born,
how old he was, how many brothers and
sisters, cousins, and aunts he had, and
what we're his intentions generally; that
HE HAD COME TO STAY
that he intended to teach school awhile,
and adapt himself to circumstances, il it
were possible for him to do so under the
existing outlook. That these people did
not know anything here, and that he had
come to teach them,-that the young men
here did not know how to dress, &C.,; in
fact, that we were hundred years behind
the times, and many other such like re-
marks, all Of which our good people, es-
pecially the young men,
DID NOT RELISH,
aud only few days elapsed after 'tLegs'
had popped" down 10 our town, before a
conspiracy had been formed among our boys
60 'snipe" the greenhorn, and teach him
"a thing or two." "Legs," however, was
'swell up' 10 books, as they say, aud 10
few weeks when examined by the Board of
Examiners, for . teachers license, pre-
paratory to teaching in our public schools.
he answered ninety two questions correctly
ont of one hundred and Obtained a first
class certificate, showing that while he
had
NO PRACTICAL SENSE
he had a good education, which Is much
more difficult to obtain than the former
He obtained position in our public
schools and entered upon his duties. The
Young men of the conspiracy kept watch
for an opportunity to have some fun out of
the young man Screen from the States"
and soon the chance came.
THE BUcKINe MULE.
"Legs' had frequently Dragged to the
boys that he never had been thrown from a
horse, and could ride anything of the horse
species that anybody else could. A certain
draymau in town had a bucking mule,
-aid to have been taught the habit in q
Mexican circus. A fandangn was in full
blast two miles from town. This was the
chance to get "Legs" on the mule and have
some fun. They went at the business
carefully, and in order that "Lsgs's" pride
might not keep him from riding a mule,
all the other nine boys in the plot were
also
TO RIDE MULES.
They obtained Legs consent and selected
a m oonlight evening. All got ready, and
leading the accomplished ''bucker" al
sa.ldled and bridIed around to the victi' ms
place of abode, were worked up to high
pitch of excitement and expectation, BY
warching "Lsgs" mount said "buoker"
rugged out in his ''stove-pips" bat, gold
headed cane, aud white umb brella, the latter
article, he said. he had better take along,
for fear it might rain, in aoswer to the
on astion of One of the boys, who inquired
what be was going to shoot with that?
(meaning the umbrella)
THE START.
All rode along by twos, in a quiet walk,
"Legs" and the captain of the gang taking
the lead until they reached level Jad
about half mile from town, when one of
the boys behind, called out to the leader,
that as they had good road
LET Us aALLOP."
This was the signal, all put spurs and
"guirts" to their mules, and each one
knowing his part, galloped ahead of
"Legs," stopped, caused his mule to rear
and fall behind, preparatory to performing
the same feat again, in order to excite the
victims "bucky" mule, and as they ex-
pressed it,,
HAVE SOME FUN.
Aud it was not long before the fun COM
menced. The "bucky" mule imagined
herself in the circus again. and with a
'snort'' which could have been heard in
town, ''tumbled to the racket" and each
of the boys gave "whoop'' not unlike
that of the red man of the West. Our
victim felt his animal quiver, then leap
into the air, which he afterwards said was
"about
SEVENTEEN FEET HIGH,"
stiffen her legs before she reached the
ground, bringing all of her feet at the same
time as near together as possible, with the
bit between her teeth, head lowered, and
back bowed, she struck the ground like a
thunderbolt, which sounded like, and we
know felt like s'kawhallop," which was
great deal worse than the shingle ska |
whallop" We received from our mother in |
our young days upon the seat of our pants |
This
PECULIAR NOISE
was caused by "Legs" coming back to the |
saddle, from which he had been lifted, and
the mule having struck the ground before
him. "Legs's" feet were fastened In the |
stirrups, and as the mule went into the
air, ''Legs" went also and being lighter
vent farther, the mule being heavier came
down quicker, leaving "Lsgs"
SUSPENDED IN AIR
the length of bis stirrup feathers added to
the length of his lower limbs, and as he |
came down into the saddle 'skawhallop"
his silk hat, white umbrella, gold headed
cane few in different directions, and his |
watch, slipping from his pocket, struck |
the horn of the saddle, fit subject for re-
pairs. All this added to the "whoop,, of |