Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-09-12
SNAP SHOTS IN SEASON.
1--we had no secrets Dame Rumor would
starve to death.

You have probably noticed the electric clocks
which have lately become quite numerous
in Pittsburg. Perhaps you think they are run
solely by lightning Such is not the case. The
electric company furnishes the correct time,
but the running apparatus is clock work. Two
small batteries in the top of the case furnish
power to little motor placed underneath the
| works. This motor winds the clock every hour.
| The telegraph wire sets the clock every IL
| hours. Before this can be accomplished the
clock must be so regulated as not to vary more
| than a minute either way If over this limit
| the clock must be set by hand: If under, the
electricity does the work. These clocks are
rented out for 81 q month. You can buy clocks
with battery ana motor attachment for
home use, but without the electric time service,
for S45 up. This is pretty high time. but you
| will never have to break one of the Ten Com
mandments while hunting key, as they are
self-windng
PEOPLE who are welded to dirt breed disease.
NEITHER beggars nor tramps are asking for
| quarters or dimes in Pittsburg. This Is sign
| Of good times.
THE days and nights balance each other all
| over the world now, while the sun Is leaving us
for q six.months' tour in the Southern declina-
tion. Old Sol shouldn't be 90 hot about leaving
| US, though.
IF ghosts walked, the records on . great
many tombstones would be defaced.
CHICAGO has picked out a fair Site and New
York has selected the Grant monument plan.
NOW let out the contracts and go to work.
You can teach dog PRIDE but If he's not
blooded he'll act like cur.
come. One bang from Bangor will not unhorse
Blaine, NJ. Boutelle.
MISS CARPENTER, the pretty Yankee fid-
dler. has Tilted London swell and placed her
self under DR.. Whistlers wing. Her favorite
| tune must be: "Oh, Whistle, and I'll Come to
You, My Lad"
CLEVER tact will win in business and clever
tacking will win yacht race.
FLOWERS will bloom on the grave Of the
sinner as well as on the grave of the Christian.
THE deepest well furnishes the clearest
water.
THE mangled tariff dill Is through the Sem
ate. 1t now goes to the rippers in the Confer
ence Committee room. 1t just suits the Cob
den Clubbers to let 'er rip. but the people will
remember the tinkerers when voting time
comes.
IF it never stormed there would be no rain
bows.
THE moon will be full on the 2Sth two days
after its nearest approach to the earth for the
month. If Cynthia would keep further away
from this distillery- dotted planet she wouldn't
get full every month.
The best way to settle the baseball war is to
keep away from the games.
The country is safe when the schools are
overcrowded.
NEW brass is brighter than gold. but 1t won't
stand handling.
TRAVELLERS long ago shattered the tomb of
Romeo and Juliet, but 1t remained for DR..
Depew to Pull out his tape-line and take meas
qrements of the balcony where the poor things
cboed while old Mr.. and Mrs. Capulet snored.
OuE uuuS IL LOO ulRQ IOr q signing
Romeo to reach without an extension ladder
In other words he politely calls Shakespeare
fakir.
IF the devil were dying. a monk would not
run for the doctor.
THE nervous man can't hit a nail on the
head.
MAKE the Allegheny wharf playground. It
belongs to the people, not to the teamsters, the
scrap iron men and the junk dealers.
A DWARF can draw as big a crowd as
giant.
WHY not make the old Block House the
nucleus Of historical museum? Pittsburg is
rich in relics which should be preserved.
Precious links binding the past to the present
are stored in garrets and lumber rooms. They
can be had for the asking, too.
THE laughing baby may make melancholy
man.
A WOMAN has sued one of the railway COM
panies for che loss of her husband and hand |
bag. She can replace the one, but not the |
other SO it's easy to guess which she values
most. |
DON'T bet on the tips furnish ed by political |
tipsters. There no jockies to fix in election |
races, and sometimes voters are dirt cheap.
THE fellow who blows the biggest horn in the |
band doesn't draw the highest salary.
PEOPLE who purchase piety fear death more |
than those who beg it.
CrpIr ia sometimes eucberad az nroorossi,,.
card parties.
THE sentence, "Pack my box with five dozen |
liquor jugs" contains every letter of the
alphabet II you fill the order, however, you
will forget your A. B. CPS.
THE New York Tribune says there was
neither skulking nor sulking in the ranks of
the Republicans in Maine. If the editor of the
Tribune had asked Central to give him the
Bangor Whtg, perhaps he would have killed,
his paragraph.
THE jolly hazer is getting in his work at the
colleges already. Nip him in the bud
GIRLS with thin arms look well in double
puff sleeves. They also look well on the arm of
q manly man.
BURLEIGH came out of the Maine woods
with burly majority.
PEOPLE are fleeing from black feas up in
WHEN thought strikes you don't ward it
off.
THE man who can guess how the wasp-waisted
women of to-day get into their corsets could
call the turn on the weather.