The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-08-03
"BAB" IS HOME AGAIN.
Fits FROM SHORE TO SHORE
PRATTLING ON THE WAY.


Fun on Snipboard as Told by a Bright
Women-When Lovely Women Pre-
varicates-O, Ny but They Can Yarn,
| Says "Bab"-At an Ocean Concert
A Future Prima Donns-A Young
| Mans Elocutio2, Song and
| a Finale of Real Art-Briuging Home
Presents - What to Take Aboard
if You Go.
OK BOARD SHIP.-We have just been say
ing good-by, we being Chum and me is
that good grammar0 to the shores we so
| gladly welcomed about five weeks ago.
said it with tears, be said it with short,
snappy bark that suggested a curt good-by
TO the land where they know how to roast
as vol as to broil, and where milk does
| have cream on it.
| 'BAB" AND HER CANINE CHUM.
l beloved Chum with my tears, hS being
the only masculine person on whom had
right to weep, and l have always claimed
that whenever you want to relieve yourself
| by good cry you do not wish TO repose
| upon anything feminine. Chum has looked
at my briny tears and felt sorry for me,
and, when | took HIM down to the care of
the butcher, L felt sorry for him. This
| butcher is not sanguinary man; he told
me quite confidentialIy thai he knew how a
| dog felt himself, and that he would see
that my companion visited me frequently,
| because. as he sagely remarked when
you are at sea and you have got somethin'
belongin' to you-somethin' attached to you
| by ties of blood or otherwiss-it's nature to
want it near you" Probably Chum's at
tac!ment to me is otherwise; but regard
| the butcher as man not only of feeling
and sentiment, but as master of English.
| Anybody who realizes what is mature" has
| got very close to the secret of life.
WHEN WOMAN COMES SAILING HOME.
The average woman does nothing but
talk about how she can get her things
through the custom house; she considers it
| duty she owes to society to smuggle a
| little bit, and if she can only put frills of
real lace on her night gown, and trim n
cheap silk petticoat with the finest of Va
lenciennes, she believes she has done what
is right Apropos of silk pettcoats, they
seem to be the standard presents to bring
! home; everybody wants one, and whom you
| go out to sea in BOWL mean in a ship
| and get over where silk petticoats
are purchased for the proverbial
song, you would be a mighty mean
woman if you didn't bring one back TO your
| friend Everybody is telling everybody
else how little she paid for anything, and
| after listening for while, you become con-
| WINGED that the truth in all its purity is not
being given. Instead of wanting to tell
how much anything costs, they are possessed
| by mad desire to make you think they g t
| things for absolutely nothing. Just to try,
| l announced that got crepe LiSSe hand
| kercnief for a sixponce, and u woman near
| me deliberately said that that was nothing,
she only paid ha'penny apiece for hers
WHEN LOVELY woMAN PREvARIcArEs.
1t may be the sea air that is demoralizing,
or it may be that the paSse lgers are cult
waiting their mag natioI, but | have never,
in all my life heard such yarns as the
| women on board are telling. Everybody
who went to Monte Carlo won enormous
| fortuneS-Wo rth had specially designed
| dresses for everybody else. Virot had won
dered who would ever look we'll in
special bonnes until this special
| tribe appeared, and at the
hotels every blessed one of them occupied
| the room tnat was slept in by the Prince of
| Wales | think he must be centpede, and
| that his legs sleep all around everywhere.
| Ny friend. women are without exception
| the most idiotic liars in the world. There
| is no method, there is simply madness in
the reckless way in which they monkey
with the truth. Nobody believes them
| they know nobody believes then-but they
| go on with their pleasing little fctions just
the same, as if they we're convinced they
| had characters like Washiagton's.
FRIENDSHIP OF TWO DOGS.
The butcher has kept his word He
brings my travelling companion to pay me
a visit every morning. he is attached to a
string-the dog, not the butcher-and ne
pulls at that string as if he thought by
doing that he could revenge himself on the
keeper. He only has ono travelling COM
panion-a brIudle bulldog with two curls to
his tall ana who was bought at the Zoologi-
cal garden in Paris. They are rather good
friends-in fact, l think they are working
the Damon and Pythias racket; from the
| short, snappy barks they interchange, and
| the subdued growls, imagine that Chum
has promised to put up the brindle dog at
his clubs and to introduce him to the bar
keeper. The brindle dog is evidently giving
information in regard to the zebra and ele-
plants. Cooking up his nose, Chum seems
TO be making him understand that iu isn't at
all form for man about town to know
much. 1t is just possible that he called this
| knowledge ''rot': but it is difficult for me to
| believe that mine own familiar friend would
indulge in such language.
AT AN OCEAN CONCERT.
Last night we had a benefit for the
orphans and widows of sailors, when the
| usually interesting performance was given.
| A young man, who, if he would put on his
| sisters clothes, would look like girl IA
| young man with q pretty manner. and who
| thinks it's nice to use little powder on his
face, and who crimps his hair, oh! so
sweetly), recited one of Owen Meredith's
poems. 1t would have brought tears to the
eyes of the widows and orphans; the entire
| audience was in state of mild hysteria,
aad one girl gave vent to a scream that
sounded very much like a shrill laugh. She
was conducted out Of the saloon, and her
mother said she was always tdat way when
she heard sad things We felt intensely
| glad. for it would have been an awful thing
| if the young man had thought she was
| laughing at him.
| FUTURE PRIMA DONNA.
| Then there was young woman who has
been studying music three years in Italy,
and who is the coming prima donna. She
was asked to slug a ballad, and she shifted
in the most contemptuous way; she had her
| maid open her trunk and got out a real
evening frock. with which she wore all her
| je welry and we all looked at it and won
dered if it was paste, and said some cheap
French dressmaker made that frock, and it
was pity her stays dido't fit her, for, after