Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1890-01-16
CARL DUNDER.
He Has Been in Retirement to "Catch On.

He Has Been in Retirement to "Catch On"
Detroit Free Press.
"Well! WE'LL" exclaimed Sergt. Bendall
In great surprise, as Carl tfunder softly en-
tered the Woodbridge street station Satur-
day afternoon. Il thought you had started
for Germany, sure.
Not exactly" replied Mr.. Dunder, as
he blew his mis- nose with great compla-
cency.
But where have you been?"
Sergeant, vhas | some greenhorns?"
You don't look to be-"
eff some COW meets me on der street
would she take me for hay?"
Hardly"
IF you vhas some good confidence man
would you try to play a game on me?"
Il don't think so. But what do you
mean by all this?"
bage head Eaferypody laughs at me,
vhas all shanged now"
"How?"
''Vhell, I keeps quiet for der last six
make fun of me now | like to see him do
it. | vhas right en- to all der tricks you
eater heard of, und [ can spot a sharper
two blocks away. You won't hat to tell
me any more to slump into dot river"
I'm rejoiced at the news. Now tell me
who posted you"
"A teller from New Yourk. He takes
me in a class all alone for SIS per week.
How vhas dot, eh?"
And he threw up his right arm and
made a long jump sideways, knocking a
chair over and soaring a boy out of a years
growth.
That pretty good. What kind of a
movement do you call it?"
dot vhas a nickel-plated movement, to
be practiced if a man shumps oudt Of der
alley to hit you NIT a sand-club. When
dot club comes down you vhas ten feet
away. Dot probably safes my life one tou-
sand times"
what else?'
"VheIl, if a tief comes aroundt | can
spot him like grease rolling off a log"
"How?''
He carries his left hand in his pocket,
und can't look you in der face. | can
pick EN- oudt on der street by der Dozen"
That's a good thing, and you ought
to start a detective bureau. Anything
else?"
Il should smile! Sergeant. if you vhas
SOIue PICK pOChet, WHcIt NOuIu YOU IOOh
for my money, eh?"
I'm your breast pocket"
80? Hal ha! ha! Dot vhas another
trick | put my handkerchief oop here,
und my wallet In my coat-tail pocket, ind
if some tief goes to rob me he gets not
tings. Dot probably safes me two million
dollars"
Yes. Anything more?"
''Vhell, suppose / vhas in Chicago
und a bunko man likes to make me his
victim. If it vhas you, what would you
do?"
Il don't know"
Hal Hal ha! 1t pay me to learn dot.
1t safes me tousands of dollars. | shust
Wink at him-so, und say: How vhas
coons to-day?'' und off he goes. Dot
makes him understand | vhas ON TO der
racket"
Il see. What else?"
Suppose you vhas going home at
night. und a robber steps oudt and wants
your money or your life? How would you
do?"
''Give him my money. OF course"
sYou would. Ell? Ha! hal hai Dot
shows who vhas greenhornsl [ shouldn't
do dot vhay. | should open my umbrella
und hold it before me und cry fire. as
hard as | could. No robber can get at you
If you hold an umbrella oudt. | know lots
of odder things, but | hat no more time
to-day. | come down to gif you some
complaints. Somepody stole 525 from me
last night, und dot Teller from New York
vhas lost. He goes oudt to walk around a
leedle by himself, and being a stranger he