Beverly banner. [volume] (Beverly, N.J.) 1877-1964, 1890-06-21
VARIETIES
Every day is a little life.

The great advantage OF Soou oreeu-
ing is that it makes the fools endura-
BILE.
The wisest mar may be wiser to-day
than he was yesteday, and tomorrow
than he is to-day.
The life of a true man cannot be a
life of mere pleasure it must be, above
all things, a life of duty.
Every man should know something
of law if he know enough to keep out
of it, he is a pretty good lawyer.
The amount which a boy thinks he
learns about business in a week would
stagger the owner to carry off.
The expression wasn't in it" dates
back to the flood and refers to the
luckness sinners who were barred out
of the ark.
Mrs. Youngwife-"Did you ever try
any of my biscuits, judge?" Judge
"No, l never did but l dare say they
deserve it."
Mr.. Bashful-"I do so love Boston
bread, you know" Miss Waiting
(seeing her chance)-"Now, do you
know, | am Boston bred"
Temperance and labor are the two
best physicians of man labor shapens
the appetite, and temperance prevents
him from indulging to excess.
The world is full of heroes and
heroines, and the reason why so many
of them live unnoticed is because they
adorn everyday life and not an occa-
sion.
Of all the qualifications human
nature can enjoy, and fall the delight
it is formed to impart, none is equal
to hat which springs from a long,
tried, and mutual affection.
Young mother (to butcher) 81 have
brought my little baby, Mr.. Bullwinkle
Will you kindly weigh him !? Butch
err eyes, ma'am bones and all, l
s'pose ?"
Some one has sent us verses begin
ming, "Oh, give me back my %childhood's
years." We haven't got your child
hoods years. We haven't even got
%childhood's years of our own.
Grandma-"I would like to know
if that slip / set out four weeks ago
has rooted" Little Bessie-"No, grand
ma, it hasn't got a root. I've pulled
it up every day and looked.
Principle, diligence and cheerful
ness in a private and inferior condition,
are the best preparations for, and the
surest pledges of good behavior in
higher and more public situations.
DR.. Quackem-"Well, sir, you
should try my Invariable Cureall.
1t will prove effective after all other
remedies have failed" Patient
"But haven't tried everything else
yet.
Blinks-"What sort of comic papers
do they have over in Europe?" Jinks
Excellent" Blinks-"Are the jokes
like ours?" Jinks-"Exactly. Same
jokes, in fact, only a month older"
Scene (Selkirk Railroad Station.
Little girl stroking a shepherds collie
over the tail.)-Shepherd-"Mind,
little lassie that dog bites" Little
Girl-"Aye, but it dinna at this end"
Agitated Young Bridegroom Gimme
diately after the ceremony)-Serena,
shall shall I-shall-we-shall we
kiss ? Selfpossessed bride (the third
experimental is my usual custom,
William.
Human nature requires chance for
its recreation. Variety is charming"
not only because it is a variety, but
because continuous effort in one direc-
ton produces lassitude, s~taleness and
decrease 0 fpower.
MI. Snaggs-"Well, l never expec-
ted they would make steamship tickets
of celluloid." Mrs Snaggs-"Oh, they
are not Mr.. Snaggs-"Well, you
book for Germany and see if they don't
sell you Lloyd tickets"
Adversely has often developed
strength, energy, fortitude and persist
ence that prosperity could not have
produced. The dignity of s%elfsupport
and self respect often has been gained
when an external prop has been re-
moved.
However good you may be, you
have faults however dull you may be,
you can find out what some of them
are and however slight they may be,
you had better make some-not too
painful, but patient-efforts to get rid
of them.
He-I can't imagine what's become
of my razor. Have you seen it my
dear?" She-It's in the kitchen,
Harold, and I'll go right now and
fetch it myself. Bridget was so care
less as to lose the can-opener last night,
and why, whatever is the matter,
dearest?
Wife-"William, the harness is so
far gone at the traces that | am
afraid to 90 out driving until it has
been repaired" Husband (wearily)
-"Another bill Wife( despondently)
$50 many small expenses" Hus-
band (brightening)-"Now' the time
to lend the horse to the minister"
1t is hardly possible to overtake Il g
blessing of a happy childhood. 1t is
worth while to make any proper sacri-
flee in order to store the memory of
children with happy days. The family
picnic, the steamboat excursion, the
children's party, the occasional gift,
are delights that do not cease when the
little tired head sinks on the pillow at
night. They live again in the charac-
ter of the i%oy-inspiring man-they