davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-01-09
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

"A carpenter would be handy in
barber's shop, especially the one who is
q good lather.-Kearney Enterprise.
-Wife-''I believe you only married
me for my money" Husband-"Every.
body else thinks the same thing."-
Epoch.
-Tommy-''Paw, what is the last
word in the dictionary" Mr.. Figg-"I
don't know. Don't bother me. Go ask
your mother. Terry Haute Express.
-Spiritualist-"I have related my
wonderful experience; upon what theory
can you explain it?'' Skeptic-"Upon
the theory that you are liar" IN. Y.
Sun.
do you remember how ten years
ago in this place you offered yourself to
me?" 20, yes, and you refused me-"
II have been reconsidering the matter. 7"
$50 have 1."-Fliegende Batter.
Z: -Hushand-''Did you ever notice, my
dear, that loud talker is generally an
ignorant persona" Wife-"Well, you
needn't talk so loud; I'm not deaf
Yankee Blade.
-Bashful Lover"My dear, do you
know there are over eight hundred
terms in the English language to ex-
press the state of being in love?" I'M
patient Maid-"And can't you think Of
one of them Rome Sentinel.
-Irate Housewife-"Say, you tramp,
that dog of yourn has run off with one
of my new-baked pound cakes!" Tramp
80, don't trouble on his account,
maam. He's a good deal tougher in the
constitution than he looks!''-Grip.
Miss Snapper-''Stop the car! ]
won't ride if can't have a seat!'' The
conductor with an air of gentle re.
proach)-''1 have to stand up all day,
ma'am!" Eyes, but you don't have to
pay five cents trip for it!"--Boston
Times.
Visitor from the West)-"1 am sur
prised, my dear, to find that you 10 not
move in society here" Gotham (sadly)
IL can't get in. When I was abroad
wasted my time among art galleries
md old ruins instead of staying in Lon.
Ion and picking up English slang."-N.
?. Weekly.
He was tall, thin and hungry look
ing," and when he told the editor he was
a poet the editor didn't say disputatory
word. But he didn't get his poetry III
the paper, just the same, and the man
with the bluepencil and the preoccupied
air made several remarks. "Poets are
born, sir!' he said haughtily, al he
rolled up his manuscript. "And I'm
doggoned sorry for it" said the editor
Merchant Traveller.
An old bachelor was rather ta-
ken aback one day as follows:
Picking up book, he exclaimed,
upon seeing wood-cut represent
ing man kneeling at the feet of
= woman. Before would ever kneel
to woman l would encircle my neck
with rope and stretch it, And then
turning to young lady he inquired,
do you not think it would be the best
thing could do?' 1T would undoubt-
eddy be the best for the woman was
the sarcastic reply.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-01-09
THE FARMING WORLD.
FOR THE FOWLS.

ao1no Improved Fesd-Troushs for PouItr,
xney Promote Health ana Are Eco.
Soft poultry food thrown on the
ground OF on board isquickly trampled
and betouled 20 that it is unfit to eat
flacing 1t In shallow pan or trough
helps the matter little it any. The best
course is to use covered troughs or pans
winch permit them to obtain the food
ana ana ~ the same time keep them out Of
y with their feet. For small chicks =
double trough is made of tin, as shown
y =! Fig. l. tits twenty-eight inches long
ana Tour inches wide-each half being
TWO inches wide-and one and one-half
inches deep, with square ends soldered
on. lin is best, because it il easily
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-01-09

When We are asked II one can engage
in the poultry business and make it pay,
Ne find 1t impossible to givea salts
factory reply, q thequestion is one that
permits Of two constructions. If it is
made business, the poultryman, to
give it his whole attention, must do
enough business to at least pay for his
time. Just how many hens he should
keep to do this depends on his necessi-
ties, but should he fail to keep a suffl-
cient number to occupy his whole time
he will lose, not through any lack of op-
portunities of deriving profit from the
hens, but from emitting the most i'm
portant matter, that of cheapening his
labor by bestowing it to the best adj
vantage. On the other side, few hens
will pay because the labor given them
is not taken from any other pursuit. The
large flocks entail expense of labor,
while the small flocks cost nothing in
that respect.-Farm and Fireside.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-01-09
Egypt and Jerusalem, via tho Azores
Gibraltar, Naples and Rome.

Egypt ana JeruSaloms via tho Azores,
Gibraltar, Naples and Rome.
A tour Of ladies and gentlemen to visit
the East. The ocean steamer "Circassian,"
1914 tons, has been chartered to start with
the party from New York February 10. Re-
turn, through France, England and Scot
land about May 9th. The second section
arriving in New York not far from June 7th.
., The main tour will cost less than $500 in
It's cheapest form. Radiatory excursions to
Ephesus, Constantincple, Vienna, &C., can
be added to the route for a reasonable in-
crease Of expense. ..-
Rollo Floyd, the prince of Syrian Drago-
men. VIII have charge of the Oriental sec.
have been engaged to manage the European
sect on. Rev. DIR. G: F. Thomas, an ex.
perienced director Of foreign tours, will
have general charge en- ,y"te. A number Of
young ladies have already been booked, as
Mrs. Thomas will have charge Of depart
ment Tor them.
This will be the most for the money ever
before offered in this line. For further
particulars address Geo. May Powell, P. o.
box 700, Philadelphia, Pa
NoTE.-A ten days. special trip from Cairo
to Karnak is also provided for
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-01-09
SCIENCE AND INDUSTRY.

1t IL said that platinum can be sol.
dered to gold by first sweating some fine
gold into the PLATINUM ct . high heat.
The gold soaks into the plantinum, then
solder will adhere to IL.
-Kilowatts IL the term which IL to
% used hereafter to express the power Of
electric machines. The word .'horse-
power" will be no longer employed in
referring to the power Of any electric
motor.
The increased binding power of ce-
ment due to the addition Of sugar is said
to be due more to mechanical than to
,hemical causes. Sugar retardsorather
than accelerates the setting of the ce-
ment as
. While the use Of electricity in Lon
don for illumination is steadily increas-
Ing, the use of gas is also rapidly on the
Increase, the demand for the latter for
heating and cooking being greatly in ex-
cess OF former years.
"A new process for burning coal with.
out smoke, it is said, has lately been
discovered. It consists in sprinkling
water containing a special preparation
Of resin over the coal, and the result is
that there is no smoke, and the glow is
as intense as coke.
"A blue soap, the use of which obvi-
stes the necessity Of employing bluing
In laundry work, is made by incorpora'
ting with ordinary soap solution of an
lime green in strong acetic acid. By
the action Of the alkan of the soap, the
green is converted into blue, uniformly
ooloring the mass.
-Sapolini, of Milan, has described
method of his which he states he has
successfully employed in sixty-two cases
of deafness Of old age. It consists in
hopping the membrane tympani with
q weak oleaginous solution of phospho-
rus. He claims that the treatment di-
minishes the opacity of the membrane,
increases the circulation, and improves
the hearing.-Kansas City Medical In
dex.
"A remarkable feature of the East
Indian trade is the large number of
umbrellas imported. Last year the total
received in Calcutta alone was 2,621 ,745.
This was by far the largest import re-
corded for any one year, and it is not
surprising to hear that the trade was
somewhat overdone, and consequent
glut resulted. The United Kingdom has
virtually monopoly of the business.
The yearly manufacture of -four II
the United States is about 75,0OO,c0O
barrels, of which 81, ooo, 900 are required
for domestic consumption and 10000, 600
to 5000, 900 barrels for export. This
estimate for home consumption is in ac-
cordance with the basis which for many
years has been found an approximately
correct one-that of one barrel of flour,
on an average, to each individual of the
population.
I'm the biological department of the
University of Pennsylvania experiments
are being conducted in regard to the
processes Of the mind. Three of the
principal kinds of experiments now be-
ing made are those to measure the
memory of sensations of sight, sound
and feeling; those to measure the time
taken to express sensation, and those
to measure the time taken to receive an
impression through the eye, etc. The
means used to make these investigations
are weighted wheels, gibbet-shaped ma
chimes, pieces of iron arranged to fall
upon touching lever, pivoted hammers,
etc.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-01-09
CONSOLATION.

Pale grief came in and dwelt with mo,
said: "Unbidden guest, thou art ~
Not WELCOMED" said she: "Verily
Thou and will never part"
Ny head was bowed with weight Of Voc,
Ny heart was trembling with its feara
could not see the way to go,
So blinded wero my eyes with team
And every thing seemed mocking me,
The golden glory of tho sun; =
And singing birds, and humming bee,
wished the weary day were done
When evening shades did softly fall, =.
- sst within my lonely room, -
And seemed to hear dear voice call
Gently to me through the gloom.
Grief ned away, cen IS TO me
The message came that solace brought;
All sorrow banished utterly,
For diviner strain caught.
1t sweetly said: Heart, be of cheer,
In Paradise above the blue
Where love perfected casts out fear,
I walt for you, wait for you."
Nellie G. Tucker. in Christian at Work,
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-01-09

FIG. 3. HANGING FEED TROUGH.

are three inches apart, bent, driven into
the strips and clinched, same as in the
other box. The cover is hinged so that
it can be raised when the trough needs
cleaning out. It inclines at such an
acute angle that the fowls can not make
roost of it, and the food is kept per-
fectly free from all impurities. 1t is
about four inches wide and can be made
OF any desired length. This trough
takes up very little room, and is especi-
ally useful for keeping graduated bone,
gravel, shell, etc., in. opoultry-house
is complete without three or four of
them.-American Agriculturist.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-01-09
FIG. a BOX FOR TRoUGHs.

their droppings when they jump on the
box and make a roost of it, which they
are certain to do.
Feed at one time only as much as they
will eat up clean. and keep the trough
we'll washed out. Nothing is more pro-
ductive of mouth, throat and bowel dis
eases in chicks than soured and musty
food, or filthy feed-trough. Fig. is a
wooden trough for feeding grain and
other dry food to grown fowls, or for
placing bone, gravel, she'll, etc., in. 1t
is hung about eight inches above the
floor, upon two large nails driven into
the wall of the poultry-house or other
building. The wire bars in the cover
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-01-09

Y. = 1s1' "1ROU0H FOR BMALL CHICKS.
washed and kept clean. This trough IL
set inside Of the box, seen in Fig. ., the
same In width and length, inside, and
eight inches high. 1t has a hinged cover
fastened down with hook, and handle
to lift 1t about by. Each side Is open
and fitted with wire bars placed two
inches apart, each end of these wires
being bent at right angles, driven
through the strips of wood and clinched.
The food is placed in the trough by rails
ing the cover of the box. A tight cover
Is necessary to protect the food from
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-01-09

1T is not true that a Somervillo
young man recently broke his engage
ment because he learned that his in
tended bride was attending the lectures
of cooking school. He only made her
promise that she wouldn't go again.
Self-preservation is human natures
strongest law.-Somerville journal.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-01-09
A1teE OilSnteO ny the frost,
But the load Of pain may tighten,

But the load Of pain may tighten.
And We need not count as lost
all the pleasure of life when the wife and
mother, upon whom the happiness of home
so largely depends, is afflicted with the del
icate diseases peculiar to women. Its ter
rible to contemplate the misery existing in
our midst because Of the prevalence of
these diseases. It is high time that all
women should know that there is only one
sure remedy for all female complaints, and
that is DR.. Pierce FAvorite Prescription
Do not allow iu-health to fasten itself upon
you. Ward it of by the use Of this stand
ard remedy. But II 1t has already crept in,
put it to rout You can do it, by the use OF
tho "Favorite Prescription" It is gar.
Gntced to give satisfaction in every case, or
money paid for it win be returned.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-01-09
INSECTS OF ABILITY,

Discourse on tho Peculiar Habits Of the
Ordinary Honey Bee.
The honey bee differs from the major
.ty of beasts and insects inasmuch as it
GAS considerable sense and business
ability. While others are flying about
and having good time the honey bee is
getting in its work.
"How does the busy little bee
Improve each shining hourT'
How it doth is very simple:
1t gets movement on itself
And works the early flower
The honey bee shows considerable in
genuity in =. the management of its af-
fairs. They are bossed by queen, and
1t by any chance there should happen to
be two queens in one hive, part of
them will Immediately vacate; they
know better than to put up at any es-
Enlistment run by two females.
The honey bees are rather hard on the
men folks of their kind. While every
thing is lively and honey is plen.
ty, the gentlemen honey bees sit
out on the front portico and tell
stories and have a good time. When
summer begins to wane there are hints
thrown out that the gentlemen had bet
ter 60 hire fiat for the winter; they
take this all good-naturedly and think
it is all humbug. When cold weather
comes, however, they are escorted to the
front door and pushed off the perch
without so much as honey comb with
which to dress their whiskers.
A lesson in thrift is taught by the
honey bee, and they also teach the fool
ishness of working and laying by more
than is needed, for some one else to
come along and make merry over, as
the man who SO kindly provides them
with nice little hive and takes the
lions share of the honey: Alas! in this
world it is often the case, that the man
who lives in nice house is working for
the benefit of the mortgagee.--E. r.
Collins, in Texas Siftings.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-01-09

"A Philadelphia woman is a boss
plumber, and she appears to have mas
tered the tricks of the trade. The city
is now resisting the payment of one of
her bills Tor excessive charges.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-01-09

PAIN from indigestion, dyspepsia and too
hearty eating is relieved at once by taking
one OF Carter's Little Liver Pills immediate
ly after dinner. Don't forget this.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-01-09
MARKING AND GRADING.
Some of tho Defects Of Modern Educa-
tiOn8l Methods.

Some of the Defects Of Modern Educa-
l. tional Methods. ...
At q recent educational conference at
Providence, r. l., Professor Ballet, of
Springfield, Mass, said that nobody
could do good teaching who undertakes
to mark each pupil during every recita-
ton. Imagine the attempt to do such a
thing in a chemical laboratory. How
would the teacher succeed who should
occupy three-quarters Of the hour while
the boys were at work in putting down
marks by which he should attempt to do
justice to each one? Suppose that the
father of five children, say six, eight,
nine, ten and twelve years old, should
undertake the marking system in the
family. This man has bad cook in the
kitchen, who has by degrees saddled the
dyspepsia on the whole flock, so that no
one of them can relish his breakfast.
So when they gather around the
table some morning the father makes
q little speech to them after this
fashion: Children, have for some
little time observed an indisposi-
ton on your part to eat, which must
in some way be counteracted because it
is absolutely necessary to eat in order to
sustain life. Now propose to inaugu-
rate the marking system on the scale of
100. To-day the boy who eats all of his
meals as he should eat them will receive
100 for each; the girl who swallows only
three-quarters of her breakfast will only
get IS, and if any child refuses to touch
his food, mark of zero will be scored
against his name. Then at the end of
a month shall draw off an average
from these marks" Don't you think
that it would be better plan for that
father to discharge his bad cook?
But how would the graded system, as
we often see it carried out. work in the
family? Suppose that this same father
should carefully estimate just how much
food, how many pounds of beefsteak and
loaves of bread the six-year-old boy
ought to eat between tho first Monday
in September and the last Friday in
June, and should set himself to work to
see the programme faithfully carried
out. OF course, if half the prescribed
amount is not consumed during the first
twenty weeks of the course, large pro-
portion must be made way with in the
second twenty, so that the boy. can be
promoted into the next grade. But i'm
agine this father taking longer look
ahead and making out q bill of fare for
the boy from the time he il six, when he
is supposed to enter the primary school
till he is eighteen, when he is supposed
to leave the high school, or suppose
when he is six he takes the boy to q
tailor and orders . suit of clothes thai
shall fit him when he is fourteen. The
tailor does the best he can under tho
circumstances, and then the father takes
the hoy home and begins to feed him
with the idea Of making him grow to
the suit.-N. Y. Post.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-01-09

ARE any Of the new washing compounds
as good as the old-fashioned soap1 Dobbins'
Electric Soap has been sold every day for
"A yedrs, and is now just as good as ever.
Ask your grocer for it and take no other,
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-01-09

DEATH has no .terrors to the tradesman
who furnishes the floral tribute ut the
funeral-Boston Transcript.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-01-09

Io ~ EplfoR:--Please inform your
tho above named disease. By it, timely
use thousands Of hopeless cases have been
permanently cured. shall be glad to send
two bottles Of my remedy FREE to any Of
your readers who have consumption II they
WIN SEND me their express and post-oface
address, Respectfully, r. A. S1ocUM. III. a..
ISL Pearl street. New York.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-01-09

The query: docs . lightning rod
protoct?" is answered from Ohio. OF
the 47s buildings struck by lightning
and burned last year, 351 were barns
which had this protection" and OF the
whole number only sixty were without
Ho1s.-Dotxeit Free Prose-
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-01-09
eyrup OF Fln.

Produced from the laxative and nutritious
juice Of California figs, combined with the
medicinal virtues Of plants known to be
gently. on the kidneys, liver and bowels, ef-
fectually cleansing the system, dispellin9
colds and headaches, and curing habitud
consultation.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-01-09

The man whopre chcs without advancing
Q new idea or making IN old one clearer 10
. misit and ought to be Jumped OF to the
Observation-Disclosures Journal. -.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-01-09

AN engagement is q very fragile thing
1t can not be dropped without breaking It.
-Terre Haute Express.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-01-09

A COUGH, COLD, OR SORE THROAT should
not be neglected. Browns BRONCHIAL
TRoCHEs are simple remedy, and give
prompt relief Is cts, box.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-01-09

II state, but when the subject Is bachelors
they know how to reduce the surplus
Binphamton Herald
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-01-09

WHEN you truly and devotedly love .
girl who is as rich as sho is pretty, it's hard
to take no for an answer.-Epoch.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-01-09

4 GOOD many people publicly tn: the
Lord for their prosperity, who We. Be
very mad It somebody should suggest that
themselves.-Somervil1e Journal.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-01-09

BRONCHITIS is cured by frequent sma
doses Of Piso's Cure for CONSUMPTION.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-01-09

ARE as small as homeopathic pellets, and
them. Carter Little Liver Pills. TRY them.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-01-09

Oregon, tho Paradise Of Farmers.
Milo, equitable climate, certain and abundant
crops. Best fruit, grain, grass, stock country
In the world. Full information free. Address
Oregon ImmigrationB Board, ortland, OREGON
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-01-09

1T takes good deal of sand to perpetrate
some sugar Observation-Disclosures (Kan.
News.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-01-09

A CONTEMPORARY defines an Optimist "A
. woman who has q new winter cloak and
bonnet, and a ressimist as woman who
has neither
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-01-09

BEST place to hold the Worlds Fsip.
right around the waist-Boston Herald.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-01-09

WHEN lightning strikes it admits Of no
Observation-Disclosures Free Press.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-01-09

POCKET in-cushion free to smokers Of
''Tansill's Punch SC. Cigar.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-01-09

A GRAND JURY never goes behind the re-
turns in finding its counts.-N. o. Picayune.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-01-09

For biliousness, sick headache, INDIGESTION,
and constipation, take Dr. Pierce's Pellets.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-01-09

WHEN the eummcr's rose has faded
What shall make 1t fair again7
When the face " tn pain Is shaded
What shall drive away the pain2
Ne er shall q blossom brighten
AftoR h11u0.t 70 n l,v m