davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1890-05-25
KUMLATELY'S KINKS.

They tell me" said Mr.. Kumlately last
night that there is no such thing AS a
woman humorist. This is a mistake.
Woaen are the greatest of all humorists.
but more frequently they are wits. Be
cause a woman won't laugh at lots of fool
things which pass for humor now "a days
there are those who think they have no
appreciation of true humor. Now Mrs.
h. is humorist from away back.
One evening this week went
down town. telling Mrs. X. that
! was going for the mail and would be
back early, fell in with lot of choice
spirits. Of the kentucky variety, aud
really got home early-in the morning.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1890-05-25
PROHIBITION TYRANNY

II really Seems that the main idea and
intent Of the prohibitionistS is to make
drunkards instead OF unmake them and
10 make all persons who may desire at
any time TO take a stimulant AS mean and
sneaking as possible In this they are
simply evineing spirit of bigotry which
will always be retroactive and which will
hold all these persistent and intoleran,
eranks up 10 the contempt of broad
minded and liberty loving people. Ma,
being able TO further encroach upon the
sovereign people of this country. and Sec
ing their ruinous policy dying out in the
states which they have heretofore tenn
porarily ruled and well nigh wrecked
They have turned upon the poor fellows
Who compose the regularly enlisted
soldiery of the United States army and
are endeavoring 10 see what they can do
10 make harder the lot of those who have
no chance 10 defend themselves. but ho
are used for experimental purposes in
divers ways by the war office and practice
ing lawmakers. nder the Influence Of
the prohihi,lonisls the authorities al
,.,',,I'9'1 ''"' Yen "o'n2 something
- F''''"u W "'i''Ne theS "iil
that i bS prohibiting the sale of winea
beer al army posi- '-canteens." This"
SAYS the New York World. will Ia.
an excellent thing for the business of num-
-, ''' -, '''"- y ''"i '"e army post
-. -, $500 N'i'hu'a'e "h"'-
-, - '"'''i' wv >nsaAiig IN" en-
=, - :. - w f"snN "'
M, -, - ,'',i ''s> o'en e'n'r-
80, -" '"'u'e''!' ",' We are 10
49, ." 1'u'i "n'en' III enec''
W ''''' VI o'et lht
.,..,,.,.'., "a" ." a''"nhp''sheu sur
- ,,,'e' ~. 80 u 'ne senators Wh"
-, ~ s1''-o''' anu vine amend
~ '"'S '""' 'u'se beverages
- - '''''''' : anu >"'''e 81 'heh
-, : - I'm" man : never Seen
- -, "i'''ss ne ha> '''e' ON "n leave
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1890-05-25

There was a time when great heroes
the heroes Of war. statesmanship. art.
literature and Invention We're besei1ed
Now the champion Singer, the base ball
hatcher the comic opera comedian. 1T al.
Of that ilk, are the heroes Of eastern
metfopoli. and lately In Madrid the most
enthusiastic and soul-stirring reception
ever given 10 man was that to Fraseuelo
bnll-fghter. Sixteen thousand people
saw the matador kill his ribboned bull
and vast crowd escorted him through
the streets and shouted themselves into
an influenza in his honor. n II should
happen now that His Royal Infancy the
King should be carried of with an agra
waited case Of collie. OF summer complaint.
mumps or something, aud Spain should I
drrlare a republic Fraseuelo or some
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1890-05-25

other matador or plcador would stand
grand chance TO be its president, and
'hen our minister plenlpotentiary could
send Tor the best slugger aud baseball
payer we have as attaches OF legation
aud hold his head up among the grandees
of Granada and the heroes of uispanola
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1890-05-25
Acreage

We call the attention of careful investors following prop
critics and invite inspection For this week we offer ten
acre garden tracts carefully surveyed and numbers ON each
corner with sxyet streets within mile growing towns
Marietta ana inmI Mills situated the main road Fenalc.
The faiaven Northern Railroad through ten acre
tracts are reserved for aradpus The land is Alder bottom
ana me Maple easily cleared and especially adapted frutasng
and gardening.
m Irrespective purchasers will he shown property Title perfect
Terms onetir cash. balance four and eight months Pats
office
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1890-05-25

why are steamers forced 10 20 To Sc
home for wood and water? Fairhayen
has better facilities for furnishing both
than any other city ON the bay.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1890-05-25
LAX VIII ATCOM

Property ON the Lake has taken surprising rise with the
improvements IN many having been sold for twice the
placed on month We offer this week the hest pro
position on good lake property the market
Forty of good level land easily cleared black rich soil
rocks stones onefouth mile from Water Fron price
or We can add tract of six and onea Civ
ing the forty water frontage making foyx
AT sixty dollars per This property plated and known
nye situated on the north side of Lake Wacom getting hen
eht OF the sun making the most desirable fruit raising property
the lake and lovely situation cottages The prety is within
thirty minutes ride from Silver Beach Terms half
cash. balance SIX and twelve months per
reasons The above properties must he sold this week Withdrawn
from the market Perfect abstract furnished
FRANK N. BARNEY
THIRTEENTH ST WHATcoM
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1890-05-25
HERALD FARHAvEN WASHINGTON SUNDAY

worth having England's apathy will
disappear and there will be fun on the
dark continent.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1890-05-25

on one occasion young lady from ID,
eltv was visiting at his fathers house
and having promptly fallen In love with
her as young men always do under such
circumstances. he took the young lady
one day to The gate to show her how that
echo worked. Arrived there he called out
~ sort OF echoyoice. or like one who Is
yelling for somebody TO fetch over the
canoe" "lIello-o-o!'' Promptly came
back the response, ''lIello-o-o!" What
are yon doing mp there?'' Mr.. Emert stem
torionsly inquired of Echo. "None of
your d--n business Mr.. Echo. or who
ever he was. replied. aud then young Mr.
Emert concluded that perhaps the echo
was out Of order. and maybe they had
better GO a little further up the gulch.
which they did with more satisfactory re-
ults. The engraving depicts. very
graphically. the expression Of the Young
adv's face when the second answer came !
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1890-05-25

Every old soldier should turn out on
the Soth To take part In the Memorial Day
exercises at Whatcom.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1890-05-25

The governor Of Mississippi taught the
country how 10 suppress prize fighting.
The governor of Louisiana. In his biennial
message, has announced his opposition 10
the renewal Of the Louisiana lottery char
ter. The new south in these respects is
showing healthy and progressive moral
sentiment. Now let the governors Of all
the southern states unite to stamp out
political assassination and bring political
murderers to the gallows, and we shall look
on the growing and progressive south as
the sunny spot in the union.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1890-05-25
AFTER THE sLuooERs

The attacks Of the press OF Washington
upon the brutal sport Of Singing mills
are having their effect Already at Ia
coma Sheriff Price has put his foot down
upon such Affairs - far a. Price county
i concerned. and feM days ago sent
three OF his deputies To the Zoo garden
aud stopped the mill announced between
two Of that fancy" 4 Tacoma dispatch
says sheriff Price has declared: We
shall prohihii lights when they are pub-
licly announced. OF when We learn by
other means " here they are To be- held
The people are complaining of them. and
the community cannot afford To allow
such state of affairs To exist. Scien
tile exhibitions Of skill ia the ordinary
way are all right. but smuggling matches
are not. and the law shall be- enforced
Judge ALVIN. Of the superior court. has
also denounced prizc-fghting A. now ear
ried on and given out that he will lend his
aid Ia suppre>sing il. According to the
statutes Of Washington. prize lighting. or
aiding or abctting in the same. Is pun
ishahle upon conviction by Imprisonment
Of from one TO five years in the peniten-
uary, or a fine Of from $50 TO Sion. or
both. in the discretion OF the court. The
probable effect of the policy TO be- pursued
by the officers will he to prohibit prize
fights in the future.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1890-05-25

Until the council can prepare aud pass
ordinances FOR the government Of the city.
the people must not expect too much of
the police. They are doing the best they
can under the circumstances
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1890-05-25

The oregonian published some cuts
last Monday illustrating the passage Of the
steamer Harvest Queen over the rap
IDS OF the Columbia at the Cascades last
Sunday. which made the affair look more
dangerous than il really was. though II
was dangerous enough. The Oregonian
i the greatest new spaper on the Pacific
coast hut those cuts were what may h.
htly termed "a holy terror We can inn
agine the managing editor gazing ruefuly
at them on the morning of their appear
anee. and while thinking of what his Sc
we're aud dlgnited chief may say. exclaim-
ing with apprehension. Great SCOTT"
u the cuts had occurred before the
steamer shot the rapids they would have
wrecked her
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1890-05-25

Gilbert and sullivan have fallen out.
ana no" each will be half of two more
frms collaborating on comic opera and
theif comic operas will only be half 50
good a. they have been.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1890-05-25

Fred Hughes is one Of the hest naturcd
men in town. Not long since while he
was sitting in his sumptuous Office enjoy
ing some fine engrayngs hanging ON the
walls. and especially "a favorite one
which depicts most graphically how dry
a man may get when he is out hunting
and gets indefinitely separated from the
commissary department. small colo ed
son Of Ham and eggs came in and told
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1890-05-25

The Tacoma News is brave newspa
per. II will tackle anything. Last Tues.
DAY it spoke Of something that would oc
eur at ll.2i. pm this evening. A news
paper that will do a thing like that ha.
got Ia be- brave.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1890-05-25

VIII the people clean up the streets and
alleys and do something to promote nv.
giene in this city. or would they prefer an
epidemic of typhoid aud malarial fevers?
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1890-05-25

A Boston lunatic imagines that he car
ries Cleveand's head That wont be-
much of a load for him. but think what
the poor fellow would suffer il lac ina
gined that he had to carry Growers bay
window"
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1890-05-25

Carl Pretzel' is Of ihenopi.ilon that
Persian cap gives Mystic shriner fez-
tive look. Brother Prctzel doesn't need
the fel Tor his phiz. lie l. festive looking.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1890-05-25

Mr. Stanley j. unnecessarily Disguised
because Germany Is extending her lnnn-
ence In Africa while England remains
apaihetic. The fact is that so soon as
Germany has Obtained ANYTHING IN Africa
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1890-04-29
Chemicals for Brick Making.

Dispatches from McKeesport, Pa, an.
nounce that the brick manufacturers
Of that city and Pitlsburg are becoming
interested in a patent chemical pro.
Tess for making brick without the usu-
al burning which has always proved
necessary. The process is that Of a
western man, and ii is claimed that
the brick can be- made and hardened in
two days at a cost uf 81 per 1000, or at
one half of the average price per 600
that stock brick is made in yards
where brick is burned. Another fea-
tura Is that the process will permit the
brick 10 be- made ia all cOlUrs, and
that the hard article for street improve
mrnt can also he made. A number Of
Mckcesport capitalists are interested in
it. and should 1t prove what il is OK.
pected they will locate a large plant
TO manufacture by this process, New
York Telegram.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1890-04-29
4 New Noltaic Battery.

\ novel form of voltaic battery is
made by AN Italian inventor in this
simple manner: A conical east iron
bowl, partly filled with strong nitric
acid. is fixed in a stand. and in it is
placed a similar bowl of porous earth.
enware partly filled with dilute sui
phuric acid. Then follows a second
iron cone with a second e~arthenware
one. and 81 on in a series, each vessel
containing It's respective acid. BY this
arrangement the inner surface Of each
iron vessel is exposed to nitric acid
and becomes passive. acting the part
of the platinum or carbon of the ordi.
nary cell; while the outer surface is
attacked by the dilute sulphurlc acid
and takes the place Of zinc. No con.
n%ections are necessary. APPLE of thirty
or forty of these elements gives strong
current, which diminishes 10 about
one.half in live hours New York
Telegram.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1890-04-29
Running the Feet.

DIR. James Lewis Howe delivered a
popular scientific lecture at the Poly.
technic society, He said: There are
few or no shoes made at the present
time which do not to "A greater or less
extent compress the feet into an un-
natural position, and the result is a
plentiful supply of corns aud bun.
ions"
The effect Of high heels was spoken
Of ana demonstrated from a specimen
Of fashionable shoe. with the heel near
" in the middle Of the foot. This. the
lecturer said. had the effect Of throw
ing the foot forward upon the toes and
thus not only is the foot deformed, bat
the gait is 10 n greater or less extent
stilted The practice Of making chi
dren wear tight shoes in order ~ keep
the feet small can only bee compared
10 the Chinese method oi defurming
the feet. Herald Of Health.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1890-04-29
NOT BORN TO BE KILLED.
The Luck of u Man Who Was Mixed Up
In the Kentucky Cyclone.

Under "A lucky star Lawrence Long,
a little Jacksonville boy, muAt have
been born. Three times has lie faced
what seemed IN each instance certain
death, IN, almost miraculously he has
gone throIgh every ordeal and come
out not only alive, but uniniured.
About five years ago Lawrence went
up ou the Louisville bridge, carrying
dinner Ia his father. who Is the toll
gate keeper The day WAS warm and
sultry. and. the river beng low. the
cleaning rocks 81 far beneath attracted
Oh, attention at TIM liIlle mrhin. In
pra'r 10 obtain "A better view Of the
,r.U". lac VlEruJ his basket on the foot
W8y and r DpDrrcd upon the guard
rail - I,ra down. The giDGy height
made ifs ~a'- reel. and before he
rui.l $3.50. .~r.srIl lr bod umblrd
nrsaloug uruu the Jagged rock, be-
low.
From u distance his father had Mi
messed the Incident. and hr iUrYiya
from Oh" bridge, expecting tu liUd the
mauglcd body of hI> >nn stretched
Aloil ll' Nil'I'. Ii- ~ III NNt tIIN's
his little boy met him half way aud
laughingly related the particulars of
his tremendous fall as if it were a huge
Joke. by some mysterious providence,
he was not even bruised.
Later on. when Lawrence was IL
years old. like most of the young fell
lows of that age, he fell in love with
the handsome little daughter of a
neighbor. With the assistance of a
friend he succeeded in procuring "A
marriage license. and one evening he
eloped with his sweetheart. Although
he enjolned the clerk To- keep the mat,
ter secret. the particulars appeared in
the CourierrJournal the following
morning. In this manner the father
OF the girl learned Of the marriage.
and he became 50 angry that he loaded
his shotgun aud started on "a hunt for
his new son-in-law. with the avowed
determination of annihilatlng him,
They met shortly afterward. and the
old nan cmptIed both barrels of his
gun at tie boy. Again fortune favor
ed the youth who had made himself
famous by his remarkable fall from
the bridge, aud not one OF the handful
of shot struck him.
Young Longs last adventure oc-
cured on tIe occasion of the big CIV.
clone. IL" j. a member Of the X. and
l. of H. lodge, which met at the i'll
fated Fail, City hall in this city. and
on the night Of the cyclone he came
owe 10 attend the meeting When
the tornado seized the struclurr ia lis
grasp and rent il To- pieces he wa
among the cross gathered Ou the third
floor. Though the Others rushed panic
stricken hitler and thithcr in IA fran
tic effort Ia escape, the boy with the
charmed life remained quietly stand
ing IN the place where me was when
the proceedings We're interrupted.
Amid line rulg Of the elements. the
groans vi The dying aud "A clashing Of
the tumhling walls he was as cool as
an icicie. The floors fell IN. and lie
went with them. but his guardian an
gel was promptly on hand with the
needed assistance. and when Lawrence
crawled out of the ruins he found upon
examination that the only injury he
had sustained was mail scratch upon
n of his ears. Louisville Courier
Journal.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1890-04-29
why 1900 VIII Sot lis a Leap Year.

The question = often asked, "NNill
the year 1900 b' a leap year 1t will
not. When Julus Caesar revised the
calendar he appointed an extra day
every four years. and his calendar
lasted Intil 4 ID. liSa Now the or
binary year j. II minute, and II Sec
onds short 81 being &65 days in
length. 50 that there isn't really a full
sized extra lay Ia be- added ln fcbru-
AIRY every four years Caesar didn't
know this. OF didn't ear" about il. and
for l.GgD years we k"Dt borrowing
from In" iutUUc. until in li>2 we'd
borrowed ten days. Pope Gregory
Mi started 10 correct this. He or
dered Ocl. ;. 1851, to Ur called Octo.
Der Is, and. to square things, ordered
that ceuturial years suuJ.t nyl, as n
rule. be- leap wears.
But II leap year j. omitted regular.
ly each nuB lirdth year. W" pay back
nearly a day too much; % Pope Greg
DRY further ordered that every centu-
rial year which could be- divided by i0G
should be a leap year after all. SO We
borrow eleven minutes each year from
the future, more than pay our Dor
rowingS back by emitting three leap
years IA three centuries, and linaII
square matters by having "A leap year
in the fourth centurial year. This ar
rangem"ut j, 50 exact That we borrow
morc than We pay back to the extent
of only One day IA 1886 years. Six
teen hundred was a leap year, 1000
will bc. but 1900 will not be. Any
centurial year that can be- divided by
400 will be a leap year. Hartford
Times
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1890-04-29
What the English Think of Our Navy.

Instead Of a completely insignificant
fleet America proposes 10 have one
shown on the list we give of 3G9. 900
tons armored, and in all of i13, 600
tons displacement, costing over 50, 000,.
600 sterling-not Of dollars. but Eng.
lisb pounds. When it is borne in mind
that the programme laid before our
house Of commons in 1889 was To pro.
vide for 3lS, 900 tons only, aud at a
cost Of ~, 500, 900 sterling, the magni-
tude Of the American programme may
be appreciated. II may be noticed that
the armored tonnage Of England in
1855 was about 500, 900, aud Of France
31s, 900 tons. Consequently, if Ameri-
ca were at once 10 produce 3G9, 0Oo tons
of armor clad ships of the newest de-
signs, she would be- more powerful
than France. aud, with all our ad.
ditions since lsSs, she would approach
US in a formidable ay.-London En-.
pineer.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1890-04-29
" rinkles That Talk.

Wrinkles across the forehead are
found in children who are ricketv or
idiotic; strong sunlight, with the face
and eyes i~nsuiliciently covered, will
also cause them, but in all eases they
are normal at 40. or even at an earlier
age. Vertical wrinkles between the
eyes come prematurely In men and
women who study much or worry
themselves. This can readily be i'm.
agined.
The eyebrows contract naturally
when in deep thought: grief or worry
produces the same effect; the action
being frequently repeated produces "A
fold in the skin. 1t was and Is one of
the standing rules of the ~.Iesuits to
eve contract the eyebrows while
studying.
The straight lines extending upward
from the root Of the nose are supposed
TO tell of long and cruel physical suf-
fering, or still more painful mental
tortures. The crows feet. the wrin.
kles so detested By ladies of rank aud
pride. always come To mark the pass.
ing of the fortieth mile post, If not be.
fore. They are characterized by fur,
rows, which dIyerge from the external
angles of the eye IN all directions like
the claws of the bird from which they
are named, Wrinkles Of the cheeks
and chin are caused by the diminu.
ton of the fatty substance under the
chin, which causes the chin to fall
into folds. The small wrinkles near
the eye have the same origin, and
only appear in old age Those across
the upper eyelids, which give the eye
an air Of fatigue, are the result Of hard
living, grief and worry.-New York
.J%ourual
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1890-04-29
1esIing last COLOR.

1t is stated that if a piece Of dyed
cloth is damped aud rubbed ON clean
white paper il will leave no stain if the
dye is a fast one. Another test is to
lay the cloth between two sheets Of
paper and iron it. There should be- no
mark in this case either. Again. ifthe
cloth is covered with a perforated sheet
of thick paper and exposed for some
hours to direct sunlight. the color OF
the exposed parts should not fade. -
New York Journal.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1890-04-29

To the of repeated question
"Where did you get hat hat "f the
editor desires Ia explain that he ac.
quired the hat 10y beirg a better
gu.s.er on the outcome of the Mon.
tana senatorisl imbroglio than jess.
Hsstnn. Jesse allowed his political
preferences To Obscure his intellect, H.
on.equence0 of VII ia We wear The hat
anu jesse paws for n.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1890-04-29

Baroness Ito man servant who has
just come inJ-Johann. do not whistle
in that abominable manDer-and such
vulgar tunes besides.
Johann-But surely your ladyship
does not expect Of Liszt's rhapso-
dies when I'm backing the boots
.hat'll come later on when I'm clean.
ing the silver.-ll Caliaro.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1890-04-29
The Wrong Ingredient.

In reading a country paper | came
across n recipe for "A "Marior yt,gb
pudding, in which the first nl.,.el At
gradients arr five eggs, five ounces Of
castor oil Doubtless castor sugar is
meant, but fancy the effects upon the
family II some inexperienced young
housewife makes that pudding accord
ing TO instruction.. -Madge in London
Truth.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1890-04-29
country.

ELRCTRoCUrIuN j. the new word
employed to express the death pena T.
under the law ia NV York state.
Krmmler, the iir.t victim OF the new
modp,is To- he ''electrocuted' some Tim"
this week, day aud hour nnknowa.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1890-04-29
Tuesday April ~ lNHo.

DEMOCRAT, ana Uettl"-sy Hisrwrt
about the fat ~ tie ratipusl snEgll-
republican, made "a su"p.u. lns-iN'
aud they can hc Gr! pudc "n - ''-
bur.e il L. the hest ~advanE-u co. TIA
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1890-04-29
FURNISHING GOODS.

The largest aud best selected line in
the city. 4. better assorted stock can
not be found in a larger city. We
have all Of the latest novelties in this
department.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1890-04-29
There Are Many Ways.

Ed-So Al insulted you.
Bob Yes.
Ed-Why not challenge him to a
dueli
Bob I'm his doctor.
Ed-What of in
Bob-Oh, I can kill him easier at
home .-Epoch.