The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1890-06-28
WIT AND HUMOR.

solemn these owls lookw McCorklc-
Yes; they are birds Of prey."-Mun-
sey's Weekly.
| Johnny Peck PA. what is meant
by the ruling passion'r' Mr.. N. Peck
ASK your mother. my son, she
knows ali about IL. ~ Time.
She lin evening toileD Ill wasn't
coming tonight, for / hadn't anything
TO wear Hc-.And you seem 10
have worn IT, Washington Star.
German Shoeblack (who can't get
his cigar stump TO burn) by Jimi-
ny! Now they are making smokeless
cigars. / supposew --Fliegende Bldt-
ter.
II see your friend. Miss Edmunds.
has been getting married; did she do
wellP" mo. miscrably; her presents
were OF very inferior quality. -
Time.
The city clergyman who can preach
the most scathing sermon against the
corruptions OF municipal government
never goes TO the polls to vote. -Ie1as
SiJliags
Miss Blne-"IIave you read Whit
tiers latest. The Captains Wcil?'V
Young Obtnse--. .N-no-ah-what was the
matter with the pCaptain2'-St. PaaI
Pioneer Press. M@ &Nn
Where Is there a greater satire upon
man than In game OF chess, where
the queen has TO DO all the work and
the King is the one TO DC protected
Teas Syiings.
Mise Cah,lo-sI hnve had the narrot
for three months and IL has never
spoken a word vet" Caller-"Per-
haps you have never given il achance."
1erre Haute Express.
How strict these reformers are. )"
exclaimed Mrs. Verde. II see that
they are invading the army now, aud
insisting that even the powder shall
not smoke. Time.
Briggs IL tell you. II makes me
feel sad to meet a young man on the
road TO ruin" Braggs didn't sup
pose such n thing could be possible. -
Ierre Haate Express.
Lady (horses running away)-"Dear.
dear. dear. what will become OF me?"
New Coachmen (grimly-'' Madam. it
depends on your past life. I'm all
right. ~ 4. Ledger
II hear your coachman ran of with
$500 of your money. Are you going
10 try 10 recover ftp" mo. the poor
fellow will need IL; my daughter went
with him. ~ y. san.
Jim-'Tm Just like the Father Of his
Country Il can't tell a lie JAM
can - some lies. can always tell
yours mile of. For instance. this
last one. - Detroit Journal.
-''Thcy raise some wonderfully
big beets out in California, I'm told. y
/ Crimsonbeak Yes; but they don't
! Get into the banks like they DO in New
York. ~ YonkerS Statesman.
The tricky man is almost always
sure to be found OUT said Sm.hers
/ 10 Bhthcrs. "rhat's fact. especially
I ii YOU are calling 10 collect money that
he owes YOU Washington Post.
A young woman began song, Ten
/ Thousand Leaves Are Falling She
! pitched il too high. scrceched. and
/ stopped. Start her at 5000 cried
an auctionccr. "--RritiSh american.
p. L. Barnum claims to own.
among other musical curiositics, the
/ biggest Tyre ever made. We trust this
/ Is no reflection on his gcntlcmany adj
vcrtising agent. - YonkerS Statesxf4B.
s'What Is society?p lit IS elacs
where people who were poor .,.enr,-
five years ago tell OF the p,.reiSn
origin of their ncighbors and con-
ceal their own humble beginnings. -.
Boston Gazette.
Fogg-"I went To hear Gusherlcigh
preach last Sunday" Why.
] thought YOU hated 10 hear himw
Fogg so do; bat il was his fare
we'll sermon. / went out OF pure graf
itudc. " Boston Transcript.
"Sal~ation's free" sang the choir.
I'm glad Of that" said poorly
dressed old gentleman who had just
dropped In; ''but you jest wait till
some o. them English syndcaters get
hold on't"--Boston Transcript
Miss Playne-"I wonder II ] could
recover any damages II were to sue
him for breach of promise?" Miss
Flyppc--''you might possibly. II you
should wear heavy veil all through
the trial. ~ 7errc Hdatc Express.
First Manager--.Im going 10 bring
out something new In the Shakspear-
can line. It's going TO take, too"
Second Manager What Is itPn First
Manager Hamlet. with two Ham
lets aud two graves of real dirt. ~.
\. San.
And now. my good man, what arc
yOi pofuU Ia slo with ffpr asked fha