The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1890-06-25
A RESIDENT.
The Kind Of Man One Cannot Deepen,

The Kind Of Man One Cannot Depend
Upon.
From the New York Tribune.
"There's Jim Jones, ! DECLARE ex-
claimed q ~ In an elevated street car
70 his companion the other day. III have
not seen the old boy for q long time since
he got married and took a house in the
suburbs in fact. Let's go yer and sit
beside him."
"No.n said the other, ''don't let's do
anything Of the kind. I've seen Jim q
good many times since he got married
and took a house In the suburbs"
"Why, what's the matter?" asked the
first speaker in surprise. ~ thought you
and Jones were good friends"
$50 we are" was the reply, 'but for all
that l dom care to hear anything to-day
about Jones' garden and baby"
"Why," said his companion, laughing,
''does Jones talk OF them much?
"They NIL do" said the other. "The
man who takes q house in the suburbs,
especially IL he buys il, seldom talks of
anything else for two or three years after
ward. He persuades himself that every
body else must be as much interested in
the garden and baby as he Is, and he is
ready TO maintain against all odds that
his own particular suburb possesses more
advantages than any other; that II takes
a shorter time to reach II from thec city hall
than IL does TO go 10 Harlem; that pro-
visions are really cheaper there han
they are in New York that the water is
better, air Is better, gas is better, society
il better and that he would not come back
Ia live in a New York fiat IL he got il rent
free.n
"Oh, well now, old man, you're just a
little sarcastic" said the first speaker.
'Jones is a good fellow, a vestryman in
his church, n 40 matter how much he
is wrapped up In his home surroundings,
I'm sure he would not say anything about
them that was mo strictly true."
"He wouldn't eh? What'n you bet?
Two to one in dollar bills? Done with
you Now, as WI pass him on our way
out OF the door at the next station, III re-
fer TO his suburb and I'll bet you he'll
win the bet for me and tell a humping lie
as slick as any horse jockey. Let's go
over now so as to have a little time for IT,"
They got up and advanced upon Jones,
who sat near the door.
"Hello, JONES'" began the disbeliever i'm
the complete honesty OF suburban resi-
Tents
"How are things looking now in South
Lemon? Summer come YETI"
well, the season is a little backward
yet" replied Jones, shut the things i'm my
gar"
~ was speaking to Brown here,n broke
IN the skeptic, hastily, as he nudged his
companions, ''only q moment ago about
going 10 the country this summer and he
was objecting to the mosquitoes. ! told
him that ! had spent a summer two years
ago at South Lemon, before you moved
there, you know, and that we did not see
n single mosquito there in all that time,
though people in neigboring towns COM
planned n little of the pests. South Lemon,
T! believe. is particularly free from them,
is IL not?"
Apeculiar smile lit up Jones' face as he
replied: "Come Oft, Smith, what are you
giving me? You know well enough there
are plenty OF mosquitoes in South Lemon,
and the only reason i moved out there
and endure the disadvantages which life
In the suburbs possess, which compared
with life in the city, is that l am buying
my own house by degrees, a thing | never
could hope to do I'm the city, and thus saw
ing a little money every month against my
old age, money which would otherwise be
expended in rent, leaving me nothing to
show for IT,"
"Hunnershteenst," yelped the guard.
Lost my money" growled Smith, as
the pair passed out. "A man never can
rely upon a suburban resident, anyway"