Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1890-02-15

BVFFEkfLIks AT NINETY DOLLARS A MONTH
GOOD MANNERS. GOOD CLOTHES AND GOOD IN
PRODUCTIONS THE ESSENTIAL REcUIsIrEs
lFE is not much Of an object TO me
4 Er~> save for social endowment" said a
II +. youth of fashion to a STAR repre-
~ IAN sentative. My means are not suf-
CAhcient to marry upon-I have but
$50 month-and the only way in which
L can find any qualification in life
is to so out in society. or course il is
recognized that l am not in a position
to return any civilities that are shown me.
owing to my financial status, and so l feel quite
easy about accepting all the social favors can
get. Mine is no case of false pretenses When
go to a millonaire's party where champagne
is as plentiful as beer at a German picnic and
terrapin is served in barrels l feel perfectly
satisfied to consume the edibles and turntables
and enjoy what ever else there Is to amuse one 5
self with, because the host is not led to expect
that shall give him anything in return. As a
certain gentleman said upon a remarkable his
torical occasion:
CT AM MAN
and that admit. is the only reason why am
invited anywhere particularly, unless the fact
be excepted that am a bachelor. That.
own, is the more essential reason wherefore
my presence Is sought at social festivities. Ii
Is true that am only technically a bachelor
To all practical intents and purposes might
as well be a married man. for have no means
to marry upon, and save IN the improbable event
OF my ensnaring the heart of an heiress il is
impossible that should ever be placed in a
position to become family man. Meanwhile
l am gilded butterfly. gilded butterfly at
$50 a month, 1t Is true, is not a very gaudy
creature. Some friends of mine imagine that
because do nothing have q fortune of my
own OF more or less fabulous proportions. but the
mammas find have keener eve toward facts
! IN such matters. If should approach one of
their daughters with serious intentions should
be quickly brought TO the point by parental
suggestion to the effect that exhibit what
means have to marry upon. This would
necessarily be embarrassing and. therefore l
AVOID placing myself IN any such painful situa-
ton. Filrtatlons are safe enough and agreea-
bic enough. too, so long as one does not
attempt to conduct such an affair with more
than one girl at time. have found out by
melancholy experience that to make love TO
TWO girls who are acquainted with one another
at the same time is what life insurance COM
pany would call extra hazardous. Such an ex-
pertinent Is always sure to result in disaster.
THE USES OF HOSPITALITY.
"As 1 was saying, "when / accept the
hospitality of the kind of people who
mostly entertain here in Washington
consider, to begin with. that L am doing
them rather an honor by attending their festiyi-
Ties. You will understand what mean when
tell you that many of the people who are now
at the top of the social heap in this town were
IN the lowest stratum of that pile of accumu-
lated excluslveness two generations ago
Chiefly, however. base my claims for recogni-
ton IN the drawing rooms of the elect upon the
fact that L wear pantaloons. Men are at a
premium in Washington. as you very well
know, and SO long as / remain unmarried am
sure of a welcome in the most exclusive houses
1t is not that L am possibly available, matrimo-
nlaily speaking, but merely that / am construct
lvely SO. L am in position to serve
as beau-in that capacity. indeed.
rather than rs the real thing. Very funny. is
1t not? And yet, though my disabilities are
recognized. / am invited everywhere. NV
qualllcauons, sociai-of course / might not
tell you this unless had had a glass or two OF
Wine-are summed up III the fact of my sex and
III my power to be agreeable. People say
Snooks-thats me-goes everywhere. So | do
And what am L! Simply persona non. fill
place that might otherwise be empty. OF
course my social situation is in one way pain
ful. Therefore try to make the best of it, L
get all / can, give little as can and SO have
the best possible time. SO | 20 about. eat up
the terrapin, consume the champagne and
laugh at the people who have entertained me.
THAT Is THE WAY To ENJOY
social life in Washington. After all there are
very few people in the swim here who have any
hereditary right to be there. One can afford
to eat. drink and be merry at their expense
L am not obliged to be polite even TO the young
women whose house happen to be visiting
1t Is not the custom in Washington for young
men to be polite to the Sirls--that is to saw not
too polite, you know One might spoil the girls
IL one were too excessively attentive. Nv
notion of the distinctly correct style is to come
very late and indulge IN dance or two. in a
fatiSued sort of way. with two or three of the
girls who give dinner parties, keep ones self
Ill the background with bottle o, champagne
as long as possible and leave some time before
the thing Is over. Girls in Washington are used
to having men to be rude to them. and
L really do believe they wouldn't like
it so well otherwise. Look in at any evening
party and you will see that the most attractive
young women have men off in corners with
them. talking to them vivaciousy. while the
dear boys simply listen in suffering sort of
way. That, l. take II, is the proper strle. Old
man, you don't want to be too anxious in your
pursuit OF the girls. Rather let them come
after you. There are SIX girls in this CITY to
every available man and a thoroughly present.
able fellow ought to regard himself a rarity.
to be cherished and caresscc. Assume that at
tltude once and you are sure to obtain the at
tention it demands. Often think when am
shoyeling in the chicken salad and washing it
down with unlimited champagne how cheap it
all comes to d fellow like me. with no property
save two extra pairs of summer trousers. still
unworn. and a solid silver match box | only
count them because they have been accepted as
collateral at my uncle's.
SUMMED Up.
''Oh, it is great thing to be a society man in
Washington. 1t requires neither cash nor
manners. All you need is a few introductions
and a reasonable amount of self-cOnfidence
With such equipment and few good clothes
you may easily be "A beau in "a town like this.
where bellies are SO much at a discount. Take
my advice, my boy, and don't dance very much
It bad form. It's much more the thing to let
the girls wait for you and sit around against the
wall, SO that tLey may realize the importance of
the male OF their species to their own enjoy
ment of life. The girls depend upon US almost
wholly for their fun, don't you know, and 50 let
us make them feel that We are of all-absorbing
consequence. even though we are but rollicking
rams, so to speak, at $50 a month, with no pos
sible prospects ahead i'll the world unless the
rich girls kinder than they usually are to us
poverty-strlcken fellows. But of course there
is always faint hope ahead of capturing an
heiress and SO placing ones self in position of
comfortable independence, more consistent
with the birth and refined tastes of gentleman
than is the daily labor for bread and butter, to
which have never been able to reconcile NV