Idaho news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1887-1891, 1890-05-10
HUMOROUS OBSERVATIONS.

Three juries: The grand, petit and
perjury.
The owner calls his lame dog "Thir-
teen," because he puts down three
and carries one.
A certain man always greets his
doctor as cole hoss," because he is a
famous charger.
All those who pass through the
door ofsuccess find itlabeled "PUsH.'
Good resolutions are like messen-
ger boys; they are such easy things
to pass.
Child-stealing is SO common in st.
Louis that people having large
families always count their children
when putting them to bed.
A man, on being charged by a
rampagious bull, held his wife firmly
in front, saying, "Stand steady,
Maria; he can't toss both of us."
He: "Do you think, Miss Hattie
with the poet, that an honest man is
the noblest work of God?"-She: II
don't know, never saw one."
Somebody says that in the other
world we will follow the occupations
we follow here. But where will the
iceman get his ice?
Impecunious lover-"Be mine
Amanda, and you will be treated like
an angel" "Yes, suppose so. Moth
ing to eat and less to wear. No,
thank you"
He-"Has your father ever said
anything to indicate how he likes
me?" She-"He has. And / think he
prefers you roasted, Judging from his
conversation.
Lover-Don't withhold your con-
sent on account of my income, sir. l
can supportyour daughter on $25
week. Pater-Then you are a Jim
dandy. Ineyer could.
Suffprer-'Do you pull teeth with
out paint" Dentist-"Well, not al
ways, sprained my wrist last time
! ! pulled a tooth, and it hurts me yet
occasionally"
!. Tell woman that she looks fresh
and she will smile all over. Tell a
: man the same thing, andifhe doesn't
: kick you it is either because he has
: corns or dares not.
The lands OF the Sioux
; Are open, tits trioux,
i To the hardy white settlers wholke all things
= nioux;
But what will he dioux
When the irolicsome Sioux
L Swoops down on him, scalps him. and chops
e him in tioux?
v When Mrs. Smaller read a newsitem
) stating that "a man in New York
+ threw his wife from an upper window
l. in family jar, " she looked surprised,
a and wondered if the man knew his
" wife was in the jar at the time. "
ID First Farmer Boy: my fathers
ie going to have some men do thrash
20 ing at our house next week." Second
n Farmer Boy: THAT'S nothin'. My
:. father does thrashin' at our hous'
10 every ay."-Boston Herald.
r. Two well-known clergymen missed
their train, upon which one of then
~ took out his watch, and finding it tx
= blame for the mishap, said he woulC
~ no longer have any faithinit. "But,
bpo said Their other, isn't it a question
~ not of faith, but of works."
" Mark Twain thinks that soda wa
ter is not reliable for a steady drink
NJ 1t is too gassy. The next day afte
y drinking thirty-eight bottles hetoun'
n9 himself full of gas and as tight as
~ balloon. He hadn't an article c
a. az clothing he could wear except a
rn umbrella.
he Boston mother: "Why, my child
ut YOU look very much excited. Wha
"a is the natter" Boston daughter
~. "Nothing, mother, nothing" Bo
w ton mother: "But that explanatio
Tue does not satisfy me. Unjust have a
answer" Boston daughter (hoar
ser Ivl: "Well, then, mother, the beal
ing are burned to crisp"
ty "Don't sleep with yourmouth op'
to that way" said Fred, to hisyoung
brother, as the daylight began to pc
ed, into the bedchamber "You shou
yea breathe through your nose" Eye
Is but don't know when my mouth
no open. What do you do when "
TO wakeup and find your mouth open
), 'What do do" answered Fred, .
, tne risively, "Why, get up and shutit
"Georgie, George, mind-your h
and will be blown off if you lean SO
u. out of the carriagel" Paterfamili
' nv (ouickly snatching the hat from t
,; head OF the refractory youngster a
u w. hiding it behind his back: The
Wy now. the hat is gonel' Georgiesat
a howl. After a while his father
VIZ, m% marks: 'Come, be quiet: if whis
, ,,,ir- your hat will come back again
my Whistles and replaces hat on DO