River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1890-06-05
The Way an Honest, But Bibulous In
dividual Convinced Thick
headed Barkeeper.

NcW Iui n 6uus lHC liCdu Odl hUCf-
er was engaged in deep converse with
tall, thin man, and was apparently
trying to find out how many figures he
could make with a lead pencil on a
small business card. The tall thin
man s name was Ball.
There's a difference of twenty
drinks between him and me-" said
William, land I'd like you to act as
referee, because you're handy at fig
ures, to say nothing of your ability as
a Judge of whiskey. 1t is go, Mr..
Ball!"
"It's a CO." said Mr.. Ball.
"Will l state the easel" inquired
William.
"You state the case" replied Mr..
Ball, who seemed to be a man of few
words.
There's a difference of twenty
drinks between u.s." began William.
"Mr. Ball pays for his drinks by the
year"
Pays for his drinks by the year!"
interrupted the reporter.
YES" said William, che pays for
his drinks by the year. and he says he
got twenty more drinks than my cal
culation provides for
"Well your books show just how
many drinks he got, don't they" sug-
gested the reporter.
80, no." replied William. ''His ac-
count doesn't show on the books
81 got 1900 drinks" Mr.. Ball de-
clared, land William says I only got
1880"
"And 1890 are all you got," broke
in William.
"Just explain this thing" said the
reporter testify. ''How the deuce can
a man tell which of your calculations
is correct If there's no evidence to go
onl" "But there is evidence" said
both disputants hastily. After good
humored dispute as to which of them
should make further explanation of
the puzzle it was agreed that William
should tell of the agreement between
him and Mr.. Ball, subject to correc-
ton.
"Mr. Ball agreed to pay for twenty
drinks day for a year." began Will
lam. HE was to drink whisky, and
for each drink he was to pay seven
and one-half cents. We had discuss
ed the matter, and after close caleu-
lation L offered to put aside for his
sole use three barrels of whisky.
There are forty gallons in barrel,
and in each gallon there are sixty
drinks and a fraction of par
ticular kind"
what do you mean by particular
kind!'' inquired the reporter.
eve known Mr.. Ball for good
WHILE" replied William, "and l know
his ways. He pays for all he gets.
So it's nothing against him if he gov
erns himself by certain rules. When
he takes drink of whiskey there is
no room for flies on the brim. Now
there are just sixty and fraction Of
that particular kind of drinks in a gall
Ion, and as there are forty gallons in
barrel there must be over 2,400
drinks in IA Darrell. Mr.. Balls year is
up tonight. He has drank three bar
rels of whisky. He drank twenty
drinks day, He must have drank
l40 drinks a week. There are 50
weeks In a year. Multiply l40 by SO
and you have 1920. l say Mr.. Ball
owes for 1890 drinks"
''And say owe for Z 1900 drinks, F"
proclaimed Mr.. Ball. The reporter
looked at him. A man who was per-
mitted to owe for 1900 drinks, and
who persisted in the claim that he
owed for twenty more drinks than his
creditor could account for, seemed
something of curiosity. The fact
that Mr.. Ball has demonstrated his
ability to swallow 1900 drinks in a
year and live seemed even less mar
velous than the fact that he had never
been asked for even payment on &C.
count. The scrutiny of the reporter
had no apparent effect upon Mr.. Ball,
and when it subsidized little Mr.. Ball
asked permission to show where Will
lam had made miscalculation.
"How many days are there in a
year, William!" he inquired.
"Three hundred and sixty-five; at
least this year." said William.
IF you will multiply 365 days by 20
you will find l owe for 1900 drinks.
There are, as you say, So weeks in a
year, but, as matter of fact, there
are, 50 II weeks in year of 365 days.
You forgot about the odd day, Will
lam, or 7 times So only makes 364.
That explains where l got my twenty
drinks"
Without further ADO MT. bali drew
a pocketbook from an inside pocket,
and, having Investigated its contents,
laid down upon the counter S547.50.
"Seven thousand three hundred
drinks at IL cents apiece" said Mr..
Ball to William, is S547.50. Is that
correctP"
lis that correct, Mr.. Blank!' asked
William of the reporter.
THAT'S correct" said the latter.
"Same contract for next year, Will
liant" inquired Mr.. Ball.
"Same contract, Mr.. Ball." said
William.
Mr.. Ball said "good night" and
walked out. While William was put
ting S547.50. in the safe the reporter
walked out.
EdrBihitl.
George Shafer of Glenwood visited