Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1890-09-29

with the encyclopedia, drove their teams
over the cucumber vines and went home.
He died last year, just before time to
celebrate his tin wedding | have al
ways believed that a porterhouse steak
would have saved his life. His congre-
CATION submitted to the inevitable and
got another harder shrub to take his
place. Possibly they got an orchid
The tin wedding occurs at the tenth
| anniversary. AT twelve years silk and
linen are the general characteristics AT
fifteen years comes the crystal, at TWEEN
ty the china, at twenty-five the silver
| wedding, at thirty pearl, lat forty ruby and
| at fifty the golden wedding. The seven
ty-6fth anniversary is called the diamond
wedding, but very few succeed in getting
that far hand in hand.
Your job printer will show You what
style of invitation TO issue, so that you
will have no trouble in regard to that.
As regards refreshments You must use
your own taste, and conform somewhat
to the customs of the place in which you
live. Some just pass around the yictuals
| say about 0 or 10 O'Clock, and let her go
at that. A good idea is to avoid so far
as possible going into perishable grub.
Get things that viii keep, and then serve
| after you have run your eye swiftly over
the gifts. A friend of mine got all ready
once TO feed his guests with the fat of
the land, but after seeing the layout he
sliced watermelon and went to bed.
leaving word in an audible voice for the
hr,tl N,.f % -.
| guests went home
1t was a crystal wedding, and he told
me that eight of the guests dubbed to-
gether and bought him glass marble
with n little mud turtle in it. At first
| he thought that he would seek relief in
the false joys of rum, but later on he
| yielded to better cOunsels and bought a
| present for one of these friends who was
about to have tin wedding. 1t was
thing to use in tearing off checks, and he
made it himself out of an unsoldered
oyster can. He also got the entire list
of guests to unite with him in the ex-
pense. This did much to break up the
| custom of exchanging cookies for carved
furniture, and prune sauce and glowing
| welcome for set of solid silver or cut
glass.
The Prince of Wales told me that if
he had his life TO live over again he
wouldn't go in for any of these things
In fact he had tin wedding against his
better judgment, he said, rather than
have any trouble with his mother. She
favored it and thought it would pay,
but it didn't. He says that the way
board is now it takes a good many long
handled dippers to pay for one of these
blowouts.
l have written the indelible autograph
on the piece of silk sent me, anxious
Inquirer, and return it to you along with
the OdOr Of benZine which accompanied
it here when | received it. Use it wise
ly, and may it enhance the grab bag to
such an extent that in future years
when your sons shall write home from
the penitentiary and give their autobi-
ography they may point to this auto
graph and this grab bag, and say that it
was then and there that they first learned
the joys of gambling and Of getting by
chance what they might not by purchase.
Should your printer be unable to sup
ply you with the appropriate stationery
for your anniversary l will be glad to
do your work and furnish you with
what you need. | have neat little
printing press, which | secured by get
ting a new subscriber and thirty-five
cents for paper which desired to ex-
tend its circulation so that it could do a
good deal more good than it had ever
been able to do before 1t is a good
little press, but is really better, find,
as a cider press than for printing. 1t is
too earnest and too DESTROYS of making
a deep impression, think. 1t would be
a good machine to prepare reading mat
ter for the blind, because it can be read
better on the back than on the front,
and easier by touch than by sight. ]
had intended to touch briefly upon the
great solemnity of the marriage rela-
tions and the horrors of married life,
but | find that have not the time or
space for it.
However, | may say in conclusion,
that marriage, if not carried to excess, is
a wise provision and sacred obligation.
Marry your opposite so far as possible,
especially as regards sex. You will
never regret it. If possible marry
above your own station. Both of you
should do this. 1t is sure to advance
your race. Do not marry foreigner I'M
less highly Endorsed by those in whom
you have perfect confidence, or unless
you want to very much indeed.
Do not encourage long engagements.
1t Is better to get weary of each other at
your leisure after marriage than to fly
around and do SO beforehand. Court
ship, however, is a most delightful in
dustry, and should not be rashly broken
i'll upon by marriage Some people seem
to be admirably fitted for suitors, but |
fail in other occupations. This is very |
unfortunate indeed. No sutton can be |
sure of permanent situation. The sup |
ply greatly exceeds the demand, but |
good husbands and wives are none too |
plenty.
If the United States government would |
establish n standard of excellence for
suitable husbands under 30, and able,
amiable and sensible wives under the
same age, and award medal to each
and purse annually instead of oiling
the thorax and patting the back of CAPT
tai we would never have cause to regret |
1t. Wedding anniversaries containing
popcorn and presents of course are with
in the scope, jurisdiction and prerogative
OF those who are interested, and may be
encouraged or frowned upon as best |
suits those who may or may not be will
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