The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1890-10-25

Att ~ Itc>iihtot. WY Wt0Ciy ICO0<
THAT'S strange. A pessimist ought 10
be very largely blue. "-[Puok
A lady in this city who owns . cat
that scratches great deal has given 10
the descriptive name Of -Clawed =
Hartford Times
The best cure for obesity Is to board
for the summer at farm house whero
you will be treated like one Of the fam
ily.-[Boston Gazette.
As Elsewhere. --Teacher-Whnt rss-
ulates the supply Of liquor In Mainsi
Bright Boy (who reads the newspapers)
The demand. Puck.
Jim--Jaclz, lend me flyer. please1
Jack--Certainly. Lend mo the flyer
last loaned you and you can have it,
Boston Courier.
Intending Settler--Butis Prairie City
well watercd? Kansan--Of course II la
There amt no other water there but well
water -[West Shore.
Slightly Different. -Minister-Aro you
going 10 the church, miss 2 Miss High
see-No. sir; I'm only member Of tho
choir, sir Yonkers Statesman.
Little Johnny calls neighbor Jones
Posterity. Johnny has been recently
told that "posterity" means those who
come after u.s. Boston Transcript
The man best qualified to enjoy the
honeymoon is the one who had all tho
romance kicked out OF him before no
reached that period. ASHLAND Press
A Good Idea ---Sergeant--So you are
in love with the cook mt Mr.. Browns.
hear? YES" but only on weeks
trial till l see what sort OF cook she
is
Snodgrass-Pd like to pay that bill.
but can't just now. You must give
me time. Creditor-I don't mind giving
you time, but you seem to want eternity.
Life.
Mendicant-Can't you give me n few
pennies for my poor family at home.
sirg Merchandise. no. man; don't
want TO buy any poor family. L Yonkers
Statesman.
Incongruity. MIR. Figg-What are you
thinking over so deeply. my dear? Mrs
figg-I was just wondering whether TO
cut off Tommy's curls or 70 make him
stop swearing
Sufferer-Do you pull teeth without
pain? Dentist-Well. not always.
sprained my wrist last time / pulled
tooth and it hurts me yet occasionally.
-ITexas Siftings
Gertie-What shocking fright that
Alden girl isl Her costumes are out
landish. Florence - No wonder. She
dresses according TO the fashion articles
in the Sunday newspapers Life.
Mrs. Gabb-Yes. my daughter appears
TO have married very happily. Her hus-
band has not wealth, IL must be ,ad-
mitted, but he has family. Mrs. Gadd-
Yes. heard he was a widower with six
children.
The latest device OF girlhood Ia fancy
for stufting pillows with their old love
letters. There Is one thing about the
contents of these pillows that can be
depended upon with marked degree OF
certainty--they are sure to be soft
Hicks--I saw Miss Whatshername to-
Gay. You know her well enough; that
plump little curly haired girl that used
TO live i'm your street i can't recall her
name just now. Hicks--Nor she either.
She was married last week. II Boston
Transcript
What nonsense this is going the rounds
Of the press, that such and such woman
has been the first TO be- admitted to tho
practice Of the law In this country.
Haven't women, and particularly mar
ried women, been laying down thelaw
TO men for centuries?- Philadelphia
Times.
John--rm sorry / shall be away %
long. Miss Janet You don't know how
] hate TO say good bye to you. but sup
pose the best OF friends must part. you
know. Janet--Oh, yes. and what's the
use OF people who are nothing to each
other growing sad over separationf
That's the way look at it
A-You see that fine housei The man
who owns il made all his money a.
cab driver. BLOW did he manage TO
do itg A--Easy enough. He made Il .
rule 10 know the exact minute when the
train left in which his passenger was
going, and reaching the station ut the
very last moment. the passenger could
not dispute with him, no matter what
he charged. T"
"You must push matters n little.
James, said chemist 10 his new boyy
"by calling customers attention to The
article and that article, you often effecs
n sale. -Ycs, sir, responded the new
boy, and then he hastoned 10 wait upon
an elderly person who wanted q. stamp
Anything else, num-" inquired The
ambitious boy politely; chair dye, cos-