davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Dickinson press. (Dickinson, Stark County, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1883-1927, 1890-11-01
Sweet yenrcanco.

A good joke is told upon twoSt Cloud
gentlemen, both Of whom are we'll
known young men. One of them is a
married man. The other day two young
ladies from, well, it might have been
Minneapolis, arrived on q visit to his
wife. Soon after their arrival tho two
gentlemen conceived diabolical idea
A mouse was captured and tied between
the bed clothes in the apartment occu-
pied by the visitors shortly before they
retired. The reporters informant re-
Trained from giving tho tragic details of
the finding of the imprisoned animal,
and it must suffice to say that it was
a-w-f-u-ll There was no peaceful slum-
Der for the visitors that night, and until
dawn was spent by the young ladies in
deliberating upon how to avenge the
above practical joke. They succeeded
most admirably.
Last night tho two gentlemen, who
occupied the same room, retired as usual
Occasionally theywould remember some-
thing about the mouse and then roar
Of laughter would be heard. But sud-
denly everything grew still. Then there
were some remarks that sounded like
"cuss words" and suddenly prolonged
snufing noise, and then the anxious
listeners knew that all was over, or
rather under the bed. 1t is explained
that when the two young men proceeded
to don what is commonly designated as
"night dress" no ingress or cgress
could be discovered. They wero sealed
-hermetically sealed. The crash was
caused by the fragile form of man
falling to tho floor thre qgh u sheet, which
was mistakingly taken for n mattress
The gentleman slept upon the aoor.-st.
Cloud Times.
The Dickinson press. (Dickinson, Stark County, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1883-1927, 1890-11-01
uo was Not a Canary Bird.

They were bride and groom, and she
was guileless thing who had been
brought up in the mountains of Penn
sylvania. They had come to Atlantic
City on their tour, and like everybody
else took the trip down to the Inlet,
from which all tho sailing and fishing
boats go out. A party had just come in
with pailful of crabs, and the old grand
father Of crabs was on top Of the lot. he
was chagrined, mad, red hot and he was
aching to prove to the world that crab
could die fighting
This guileless bride had never seen m
ocean crab before, and she uttered little
screams of wonder and delight. Nay,
more, she bent over and lifted old grand
father up in her plump, white hand for
closer examination. His chance had
come. He took hold. In one minute
her shrieks had assembled 500 people,
and ten seconds later she tainted dead
away and upset her husband over a bait
box. A fisherman out with his knife and
stabbed the crab in the back and then
cut him loose, and a carriage was called
and the bride with the bleeding finger
was borne sobbing away, never. no
never. to pick up an old crab again to
see whether he was a butterfly or a
canary bird.-Cor. Detroit Free Press.
The Dickinson press. (Dickinson, Stark County, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1883-1927, 1890-11-01
Advertising Epierams.


Lying advertisements are and always
will be failures in the long run.
Pay as much attention to your adver-
tising as you do to your other purchases
and you will get equally satisfactory re.
suits.
Avoid surperlatives, since constant use
weakens their effect. Successful adver-
tisers employ the simplest words and
forms Of expression.
1t may be safely asserted that an ad-
vertisement possesses more value when
it is first printed than it does ON second
appearance, and that it lessons IN value
as 1t grows stale; hence the importance
of frequent changes.-J. Walter Thomp-
son.
"To discontinue an advertisement '-
says John Wanamaker, Philadelphia's
great merchant, sis like taking down
your sign. If you want to do business
you must let tho public know it. Stand
ing advertisements are better and cheaper
than reading notices. They look more
substantial and business like and inspire
confidence. l would US soon think Of
doing business without clerks as without
advertising"
The Dickinson press. (Dickinson, Stark County, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1883-1927, 1890-11-01
A Dry Season in Kansas.

Ex-state Senator Joel Moody, of Linn
county, located in Kansas in 1857, and
has rarely been out Of the state since.
Speaking Of drought, he says that in
1860 Kansas had a drought by the side of
which this year was good. It quit rain
ing in September, 1859, and did not
commence again until the following
September. The winds were so hot as
to cook eggs before the hens could lay
them, and not thing was raised in
Kansas. The next season was exactly
the reverse, and produced abundantly
everything that was put into the ground
He thinks the season Of 1890 corresponds
to that of 1860, and that 1891 will sur
pass in plenty any year that preceded it.
Mr.. Moody advises farmers to dam ev-
cry draw that can be used for reservoir
purposes, and save the water from rum
ming away in tho streams.-St. Joseph
News
The Dickinson press. (Dickinson, Stark County, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1883-1927, 1890-11-01
Indians Getting Restless.

Capt. Trimbleton, of the Seventh Unit
ed States cavalry, passed through Pitts
burg a few days ago on his way from Fort
Sill, l. T., to New York, and conversed
with Chronicle Telegraph reporter on
the outlook in the Indian section. He
said: "No one who is not in the Indian
reservations can comprehend the almost
magical spread among them of the i'm
preston that the Great Medicine Man is
once more about to visit the earth. Thou
sands of Indians are forsaking their
plows and agricultural occupations to
sulk i'll solitude when they are not con-
Quoting wild orgies to welcome the
Great Medicine Man.
The effect of the fanatical preachings
of certain tribal leaders is proving a
source OF grave alarm. One part Of
their religious exercises is q daily wash
in the Washita river. On the banks of
that stream they expect the Medicine
Man to appear, who is to cover the world
with thirty feet of soil, exterminate the
white race, and once again apportion
the country out for the tribes of Indians.
| believe that there will be serious out
break among the Indians as result of
this religious excitement. The sight of
10000 Indian braves and squaws flock
ing to the Washita river every morning
to bathe and chant wild dirges is calcu-
lated to excite apprehension among army
officials and white settlers alike"
The Dickinson press. (Dickinson, Stark County, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1883-1927, 1890-11-01
A Shark In Long Island soun,,.

A shark was seen near the mouth of
the harbor between tho breakwater and
Lighthouse Point Thursday morning,
and it was believed that several of them
were running about there. A thrasher
about fourteen feet long was seen out
side the breakwatera q few days ago. The
latter fish is of the swordfish variety and
is seldom observed in tho sound, fire.
quenting waters where the whale :s
found. The swordtish and thrasher are
natural enemies of the whale, and thei1
combined attack is sure death for tho
monster of tho seas.
The thrasher is also known as the fox
shark and as the seal fox. 1t is very
much like the shark, but is larger. In
attacking a whale the swordfish stays
underneath, and with his sword prevents
the whale from obtaining refuge at the
bottom of the sea, while the thrasher
jumps out Of the water and strikes with
great force on the top of the enemy
New Haven Conn., Register.
The Dickinson press. (Dickinson, Stark County, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1883-1927, 1890-11-01
a New Tail for His Cow.

Several weeks ago n COW owned by a
we'll known gentleman employed in the
lower shops of Altoona, Pa, met with a
mishap. The animal was turned out OF
the stable for exercise, but in shor.
time she was attacked by several dogs
They succeeded i'll getting hold of her
tail, and almost tore it out of the socket.
only Il short stub remaining. The AMI
NAL was seriously disfgured. anG the.
owner conceived Il novel idea of
her up. He visited u slaughter
near by and secured new tail
started for his home, happy over |,
scheme to save his pet animal from Iii
favorable comment.
He secured tho necessary tools and :
to work. The stub and new piece W:
carefully worked out into good Job %.
dovetailing. He placed the ends to
gcther and they fitted like charm. The
joint was wrapped and tied with a heavy
string.
All worked well for few days, but
the other morning no took the animal
out for n stroll, met u crowd of friends
and stopped to explain his patent. His
achievement was simply wonderful to
his hearers. But moment later his
labor and idea were thing of the past.
A large horsefly made its appearance
and perched upon the animals back.
The stub commenced to work and the
new end was thrown in the direction of
the pest. Then it became detached and
landed around the neck of the inventor.
He pleaded with his friends to keep the
matter quiet, but it leaked out, and now
he is the subject of considerable fun at
the hands of his fellow workmen.-Ex.
| change.
The Dickinson press. (Dickinson, Stark County, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1883-1927, 1890-11-01
a Remarkable Canal.

Tho most remarkable canal in the
world is the one between Worsley and
st. Helens, in north England. 1t is
sixteen miles long and underground from
end to end. In Lancashire the coal mines
are very extensive, half the country being
undermined. Many years ago the man
ayers of the Duke of Bridgewater's es-
tates thought they could save money by
transporting the coal underground in
stead Of on the surface; therefore the
canal was constructed, and the mines
connected and drained at the same time.
Ordinary canalboats are used, the power
being furnished by men. The tunnel
arch over the canal is provided with cross
pieces, and the men who do the work of
propulsion lie on their backs on the loads
of coal, and push with their feet against
the cross bars of the roof.-St. Louis Re-
Dub1ic
The Dickinson press. (Dickinson, Stark County, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1883-1927, 1890-11-01
Melons by Mail,

We lunched today on melons sent
from the south of Germany through the
mails 1t costs twelve cents to send
three melons 200 miles-which is trib-
ute to the idea of the public doing its
own expressage. You may send fluids,
fruit and anything but explosives
through the German mails, only tho
package must be carefully done up and
marked if perishable. 1t is melancholy
that our American mails exclude melons
and so on. If you want to send sick
friend coupleof dozen oranges i'll n place
where oranges cannot be found, the Ger
man mail will care for them, and here
at the castle, six miles from melon,
we do all our shopping by the Royal
mail.-Cor. Lewiston Journal
The Dickinson press. (Dickinson, Stark County, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1883-1927, 1890-11-01
Foolish Consistency.

Emerson tells us that there is no par
ticular virtue in consistency. How stu
pid Il man must be, he says in effect,
who is not wiser today than yesterday,
and who does not accordingly have to
change some Of his opinions.
"a man will never change his mind
who has no mind to change" says Arch
bishop Whately, and Faraday expresses
the Sumo idea when he charges us to re-
member that, "In knowledge that man
onlyis to be despised who is not in state
of transition"
There is IA medium between what a
worthy old gentleman calls "whifiin'
about like weathercock" and remain
ing rigidly in one rut of belief. Most Of
us know instances of men who cannot
bring themselves to say anything which
would contradict what they uttered last
week or last year.
A certain Irishman once declared that
he had owned horse which was fifteen
feet high. A few days after he referred
to the same animal as being fifteen hands
high
"But, said a listener, "you gavei tho
other day as fifteen feet"
"Did l, thin!" said Patrick. "Wcll,
III stick to it. He was fifteen feet high"
Youths Companion.
The Dickinson press. (Dickinson, Stark County, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1883-1927, 1890-11-01
wealth in tl,e Watermelon.

Every season develops more and more
fully the prevailing necessity for tho dis
covery of some practical and profitable
use to which the surplus melon crop
may be put. Every melon left in the
field at tho end Of the season, except for
seed, represents a waste. A means by
which this waste, which annually as
sumes enormous proportions, could be
averted would no doubt be hailed with
pleasure by every melon grower in the
country; therefore the announcement
from the Southland to the effect that
such means has been discovered, if au-
thcnticated, is an important one.
The new discovery, which consists of
converting the melon bulb into sirup, it
is alleged, will establish in the south an
industry scarcely of second importance
to that of producing oil from cotton
seed, and tho product is vouched for as
being the very best ever yet made. If
the report proves true, and there seems
to be little or no reason for discrediting
it, Mississippi and Scott counties may,
with little energy, convert that which
is now absolutely valueless into profits
running into the thousands. Charleston
Democrat
The Dickinson press. (Dickinson, Stark County, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1883-1927, 1890-11-01

The hawk that breakfasts ND on a
cable of the East river bridge near the
New York tower was u little early yes
terday morning. This made him tho
more deliberate in his movements. AS
usual he had his pigeon with him, and
rs usual he devoured it and picked the
bones. Several hundred people watched
this early morning meal with an inter-
est born Of extensive newspaper COM
ment. When he had finished he flew
slowly away toward his home in Staten
Island
This hawk is an ancient inhabitant of
this part of tho country. In the autumn
eleven years ago he was noticed day
after day lowering about the scaffold-
ing. Sometimes he would sit there in
the forenoon and breakfast on q pigeon
or some other bird Sometimes he would
fold his wings about him and gaze
dreamily out on tho harbor, oblivious of
the noise of bridge building beneath
him. Every fall since then the employees
of the bridge have noted his return.
When the scaffoldings fell away he Sc
lected u perch on the cables. With nat
ural taste he chose tho New York end of
the bridge. He has never been known
to alight on the Brooklyn tower or in its
vicinity.
He is rather large for pigeon hawk,
but often brings with him breakfast
larger than himself. His brown plumago
is as fresh and his fight us steady as it
was eleven years ago. This year he ap-
pcared q week ago. He sometimes pro-
longs his stay until nearly spring. John
O'Brien, who is we'll known about the
docks under the bridge, has shot at him
many a time i'll former years, and
numerous other attempts upon his life
have been made. But nothing seems to
disturb his serenity, and his love for the
bracing air and fine scenery has over
balanced all considerations of prudence.
New York Sun.
The Dickinson press. (Dickinson, Stark County, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1883-1927, 1890-11-01

Edward Tracy and companion named
Gillen, of Troy, who had been enjoying
Il vacation in the hop fields, stopped at
Mechanicsville on their way home and
were arrested as tramps. They were put
in the lookup, and their experience there
was so disagreeable that rather than re-
main another night Tracy pleaded guilty
in the hope Of being sent to the county
Jail. To his CONSERVATION Justice Por-
ter sent him to the penitentiary for three
months. Gillen pleaded not guilty. and
tried to tell the justice that they were
more respectable than their condition
hetokened. He was sentenced to tho pen.
itentiary for six months for his pains
Tracy's father heard of his sons plight,
and going to Mechanicsville interviewed
Justice Porter. The latter wrote let
ter to Superintendent Mcintyre request
ing the discharge of Tracy. Of course
Mcintyre conldn't recognize anything Of
that kind. Mr.. Tracy then en- gagged u
lawyer, andafter MUCH difficulty secured
his sons discharge.-Albany Journal
The Dickinson press. (Dickinson, Stark County, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1883-1927, 1890-11-01
People Wonder

WHEN they find how rapidly health
w is restored by taking Ayers Sar-
saparilla. The reason is that this
preparation contains only the purest
and most powerful alternatives and
tonics. To thousands yearly it proves a
veritable elixir of life.
Mrs. Jos. Lake, Brockway Centre,
Mich, writes: "Liver complaint and
indigestion made my life q burden
and came near ending my existence.
For-more than four years suffered un-
told agony. I was reduced almost to
q skeleton, and hardly had strength to
drag myself about. All kinds of food
distressed me, and only the most deli
cate could be digcstcd at all. Within
the time mentioned several physicians
treated me without giving relief. Moth
ing that took seemed to do any per-
manent good until began the use of
Ayers Sarsaparilla, Which has pro-
dMced wonderful results. Soon after
commencing to take the Sarsaparilla l
could see an
The Dickinson press. (Dickinson, Stark County, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1883-1927, 1890-11-01
Yankee Ingenuity.

One of the busiest places in the Yam
kee nation is the patent Office. The re-
port of the commissioner shows that for
the last fiscal year the applications beat
the record. The total was 48, ,14O, against
42,047 for the previous year. There
were 25,e07 patents granted, 1889 trade.
marks registered and 3O4 labels regis
tered, total of 27,493, against 22, ,941
total for the preceding year. The num-
Der awaiting action was 6,5s7, which
shows that tho Office keeps pretty we'll
up with its work, a fact that is the more
to its credit because the appropriations
for the Office are notoriously Inadequate.
Dry Goods Economist,
The Dickinson press. (Dickinson, Stark County, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1883-1927, 1890-11-01
A stagestruck Infant.

A wonderful child is Le Petit Freddy.
He is years and 8 months old, speaks
eleven different languages, and has trav-
eled all over the civilized world. How's
that, eh? The. little fellow chatted
pleasantly to a Cincinnati Times-Star
mana few days ago.
"You would imagine was a foreign
er, wouldn't your" said he. "But I'm
not. My father and mother are both
Americans, but was born In Cuba.
My name is Clark, and my father used
to be an actor, but he's too fat to act
now. I made my first appearance In
Vienna. Twas about two years ago.
wasn't it, papa?"
"Two years and five months ago." an
swered Papa Clark.
"Since then," continued Freddy, Il
have been in Germany, Spain, France,
Turkey, Greece, Arabia, Egypt, Russia,
Italy and the Palestines. speak and
sing in eleven different languages, but
can only converse in six languages.
first learned to speak the Arab language.
My nurse was an Arab. You know my
mOCher dled When was u montnS Olu.
These medals? One is from the pasha
of Egypt, and the other was presented
to me by Juan Mato. director Of the
theatre at Barcelona, Spain. I'm just
playing a temporary engagement with
the Lottie Elliott company. Ihave en-
gagged to go with the Hyde show this
season."
Freddy was stagestruck even when
he was an infant" remarked Papa Clark
II used to take him to the opera when
he was less than year old, and even
then he seemed to understand the music.
He paid more attention to the orchestra
leader than to the opera, and sometimes
his little hands would keep time with
the music. His imitation of an Italian
musical leader was conceived by him
se1f -
The Dickinson press. (Dickinson, Stark County, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1883-1927, 1890-11-01
She Swallowed Eighty Pins.

Among involuntary gastronomic feats
the most extraordinary was that of a
young woman named Mary Spelmore,
who lived in St. Peters parish, Derby
In the month of November, 1910, she
was engaged hanging up linen to dry
when some sudden emotion caused her
TO swallow small armament of pins
with which she had stocked her mouth.
A surgeon was sent for, who did all in
his power for the unfortunate girl
Though the retching was constant she
never brought up more than one at a
time, and in three days the total
amounted to seventy-six. Some of them
were very long, and her convulsions
were 80 violent that it took several per-
sons to hold her. Shortly after entering
tho hospital at Nottingham tumors
formed on the left side near the shoulder.
These were suppurated and opened and
several pins came out of the wounds. In
five months she was discharged cured
Nottingham (England) Sun.
The Dickinson press. (Dickinson, Stark County, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1883-1927, 1890-11-01
Settling . Restaurant pill.


A bluegrass idyl has been circulating
through tho Southern society for several
days. 1t is tale of two Kentuckians-
one major, the other colonel-who
determined to crafty an oft expressed
desire to visit New York. They came,
and after two days of sightseeing the
colonel suggested to the major that q
trip to New York would not be complete
without :. dinner at Delmonico's. The
major agreed.
1t was deemed that it would hardly be
considerate to take Mr.. Delmonico una
wares, and in order to prepare him for
so unusual an event as swell dinner for
two the Kentucky gentlemen went to
the restaurant early in the day, called
for the head waiter and told him what
they wanted. "Spare no expense. they
said.
They dined at 8. 1t was a splendid
dinner.
They called for their bill. The waiter
placed check, face down, on the menu.
The gentlemen were toasting each other
as the waiter did this, and when they
placed their glasses on the table he was
gone They saw what appeared to them
to be scrap of paper on the menu and
brushed it off. The old fellows were
ignorant Of the customs of French res
taurants, and they concluded that the
menu must be the bill. The colonel be-
gan to figure up the prices 1t seemed
that they had eaten great deal, but the
names Of the dishes were in language
unknown to them, and anyway they
were not in a mood to bother about tri-
fes.
But the colonel gasped when he fig
r,red up the total It was $500.
"Great heavens, sahl" he exclaimed to
the major. "It is 5000. If we pay this
we can't get back home"
I'VE might" suggested the ,najo,
family. 1--WE might jump out Of this
window and rum"
"No, sab" said the colonel, bringing
his fist down on the table. 1--WE are
Kentucky gentlemen, sab. We will pay
this bill, sab, and then, sah, we will
shoot the landlord, sah."-New Yorl
Times
The Dickinson press. (Dickinson, Stark County, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1883-1927, 1890-11-01
5000 PER ANNUM


Drifting Down.
Conc tho ripple and the r,,shes
VI the love songs Of the thrnsheS,
Conc the roses In tho closes Of the garden, and
the bushes
or the shy verbena creeping
By the old south wall, and steephag
All its sweetness In the sunshine OF the sleepy
summer bushes
And ever DER 1t all. in gold and crimson pail,
Over mignonettc grown tawny. and DER grass .
bronzng brown,
With rustic and a whir, and a sad and solemn
stir,
The leaves are drifting down, dear oh, tho leaves
are drifting down.
Come the mornings gray and chilly,
Come the nights serene and Silly,
Comes an airy midnight fairy, tracing fern and
rose and lily
On the window panes that glistcn,
While in dreams the children listen
10 tho swing or skates that ring, and shouts that
echo shrilly,
And ever ever still, in the hollow, on the hill,
by the roadside, where the suntlower lifts aloft
ruined crown,
Like the dear old dreams of youth, dreams of
honor, fame and truth,
Forever falling from us-do the leaves keep drift
ing down
Let the summer set in splendor,
Let the summer tribute render
Bridelikc beauty, bridelike duty, every charm di
vino and tender,
To the conquering king, who loudly
All in trumpet tones and proudly
Tells tho story of his captive and her passionate
surrender
And with the leaves that fall In a rich and royal
pail,
Der the rose hearts crlmbled crimson, and the
grass grown dull and brown,
Lot fhn fnrr If. Al
life,
Go drifting drifting down, dear-with tho leaves
60 drifting down.
New York Ledger