The Sunday morning news. [volume] (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1886-1891, 1890-12-21


'tBULLYi YOU'LL GO THEN1a INTERRUPTED
THE IRREPREssIBLE BOOMERANG.
Come along, old boyi I've fixed itat
last"
Thus cried Lieut.. Tom Jones. q. S. A.,
bounding into my room in his usual hop
skip-and- jump style, and causing there
by deep cash In both the chins reflect
ed in the cracked shaving glass Of my
bachelor lodgings.
Il rather think you have, responded,
half savagely, as mopped my bleeding
feature with piece of blotting paper
II rather think you have; but what in
the world have You fixed, besides my
chin?r
.Oh, bother your bleedingi Just
listen: I've borrowed the majors gray
and the surgeons .Jalap,' done Uncle
Bob out Of his double sleigh, and wen
drive over to Shadynook and spend
Christmas. Hurrahss And Lieut.. Tom
Jones, Q. S. Boomerangs, spun round
my room as if he had Just been pro
NOTED to the first corps Of the BLACK
Crook. looked at him until he re-
gained a pose ON the back of my arm
chair, with his feet on the cushion Then
said gravely-the tone was meant to
convey the most crushing sarcasm:
..Slicer's Jalap and the majors grayTa
s.Certainly-why noty
why not2 Because, firstly, the gray
never was IN traces in his life; secondly,
because the sorrel never would go in
double harness, you know.
'sYes. know. But, then, they're both
old enough to begin; so come, old fellow,
pack your traps III give the ponies a
whirl down the road to keep 'em quiet
and use 'em to the bells. Hurry; III be
back before you say Jack Robinsonr
stared at my friend to see if he was
really in earnest before I replied:
Tom Jones. do look like lunatics
Have you any reason TO justify believing
me a fit subject for the padded ROOM My
dear boy, added gently, my neck is far
too valuable to my country TO risk break
ing it for the sake Of breaking old Sic
er's sorrel and your uncle's sleigh"
why, they're at the door now-just
look at 'em, (" responded the lieutenant,
walking to the window. They're as
quiet as pair Of lambs The sorrel has
only one leg over the pole, and the SER
geant and my orderly can hold the gray's
head nearly still Comel throw some
things into valise and be ready by the
time get back
threw myself ON the sofa and stretch
ed out my comfortable slippers to the
sea coal fire by way of reply.
Cant do it, Tom. I'm too valuable
q member of society to think of suicide
at present"
s'Nonsensel Wen have no end of
jolly time at Belton's-raise the neigh
borhood-skate on the pond-make
floods of eggnogg shock the old 'un-
and have glorious german TO wind up.
shook my head
Cant do it, T. Jones. Even did I
want to ruin my life insurance people
I've engagements at home / cannot
break, and I looked very important as I
dwelt on this announcement. I" You
see, lead the choir for their Christmas
practice tonight; I've been pledged for
a month for my Christmas dinner at the
mayors, and I--ahem-I skate Miss Bet
he on the pond this after -
"Oh, what head haveE" Tom broke
in. Didn't mention that Uncle Bob
says Bets to go with us, and she says
you must be sure TO come. And mind,
you are to tell him the horses are dog
quiet. Bet swears he'd never believe
me.
Miss Bette was going!
Before that young lieutenant had half
finished his sentence l was at the win
dow gazing at those horses with an in
terest no quadrupeds ever possessed Cor
me before. The sorrel had fallen
in his effort to get his leg back
over the pole, the grizzly old SER
geant was sitting composedly on his
head. blowing huge clouds from
his pipe, while the orderly unbuckled
the traces. The gray amused himself
meanwhile by swapping viciously at the
boy who held him, and with every snap
he made vain lunge with his heels at
the orderly's fatigue cap, the latter dodg-
ing beautifully as ever did q pracficed
spar1er before big bruiser. The view
was not encouraging. They certainly
were hardly the pair to risk q young
lady's-or my own-ueck with, even
though Tom was famous throughout his
corps as perfect Rarey.
by Georgei" half soliloquized. Il
don't think she'd be safe behind those
devils.
.Bosh! With me drivings Only the
bells tease them little for the moment.
One turn down the road and III hiring
them back like a pair Of sheep
sBut 1 hardly think -
"And certainly know. go1nes Bets
crsxy 10 60, and a1ys ahe lepc2ds oa you