The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1890-10-11
CRAZY INVENTORS.
Some Of the Wonderful Things to
Be Seen in the Patent Office.

Be Seen in the Patent Office.
| have spent the past week look
ing up the freaks of the Patent OF
ice. Side by side with the creates
inventions of the age are classet
The craziest offsprings of the human
brain.
The illuminated cat was granted
q patent in 1884, and it is a cat o
pasteboard or tin for the purpose
Of frightening rats or mice. This
cat is to be made in q sitting pos
ture, and it is painted over with
phosphorus so that it shines in the
dark like a cat Of fire.
Another cat, equally funny, is the
patent sheet-iron cat, which is work
ed by clock-work, and which has a
bellows inside of it which swells up
TIA tail to the size Of the maddest
felines. If properly set it will emit
a noise equal to the widest of llv-
ing midnight Thomases, and 1t has
IN addition steel claws and teeth.
You wind it up and place it on your
roof and set it bowling. All the
cats in the neighborhood jump for
it, and its poisoned claws kill every
one it strikes.
A luminous harness has been
patented 80 that horse being driv-
en- at night looks like a sheet of
chain lightning, and you think
LlUah's chariot has come to earth
again. There are luminous match
boxes and luminous ghosts to scare
away grave robbers.
The inventions for smokers are
SO many that a division Of the Pa
tent Office has to be given up to
them. One of the most curious of
pipe inventions is a rest or brace
~ which the weight of the pipe is
taken off the teeth and rests on the
chin.
The lovers gate consists Of gate
which will swing both ways, and
which can be lowered and raised to
suit the size of the lovers. On the
same principle is the adjustable
pulpit, which will fit all kinds of
preachers. The pulpit runs up and
down on pillar by spring, and
by pressing a button the preacher
can raise it to his height or lower
it to suit.
There is patent machine here
Tor forcing hens to lay eggs, and
there are numerous ones for the
prevention of their eating their own
eggs or breaking them.
There is one branch Of the Patent
Office known as that Of cow-tail
holders. There are patents for
horses tails as we'll as cows tails.
The most curious among them,
however, is the patent of Yankee
who has invented an adjustable
false tail for horses.
A western man has patented a
shield to prevent horse from be-
ing cut by wire fences, and this
consists of a sort of armor of pad
ded cotton or leather, which s,
strapped around the neck, breast
and front legs Of the horse.
The patents to make women beau
tlful are numerous. There are face
powders by the hundreds and bust
lmprovers by the scores. The nose
is one of the most curious
of the crazy patents. 1t has made,
it IS said, fortune for its inventor.
and 1t consists Of metal shell |
formed Of two parts, which are con-
nected by hinge. The shape of
It's inside is that Of a perfect nose,
aqulline, Roman or Grecian, as
you prefer, and i. does all its work
at night. The patent states that
he nose should be we'll bathed in
warm water and then creased with
olive oil until it is thoroughly soft
ened. After this the improyer is to
De attached and the person using
I is to 60 to bed and sleep until
morning. At first it is said the op-
is somewhat painful, but
his wears off in few nights, and
he soft cartilage of the nose soon
begins to assume the form of the
beautiful shape of the improyer.
At the end of eight weeks you have
brand new nose, which remains
With you until you get tired of it,
when you buy different style of
mprover, and come out in new
nose, quite different from your last
'ne, but still beautiful.-Frank G.
carpenter, in Washington letter.
A Tender Association.