Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1890-11-29
MEAN MEN MEET.
THEY TELL WHAT HAS BEEN DONE
THE LAST YEAR.

THE LAST YEAR.
An Account of the Annual Gathering Of
Unique Society Some deritorious
Actions Recorded-The Palm Finally
Awarded to Mr.. SmalIfeIIOw.
At the annual gathering of the Mean Men
Of the country few days ago, the palm of
the order, which is voted to the member who
can prove himself guilty of the most despic-
able act, was awarded to Mr.. Smallfellow
The meeting was an interesting one, and the
attendance was larger than ever before IN
the history of the society.
After banquet, the regular business was
taken up. The competition for the palm was
very close, and some fair samples of mean
ness were reported. During the year all the
members had found opportunity to make an
effort to secure the prize, and, as is the Gus
tom, each gentleman wrote out a statement
of the affair and handed it to the secretary
Some OF the members had made out as
many as ten reports, and much discussion
was caused by motion to consider five or
more ordinarily mean acts ON the same basis
as one of a very despicable nature Three
gentlemen seconded the motion, but when the
ayes and noes were called for, it was voted
down.
The reports were read by the secretary and
showed the members to have been very as
siduOus i'll their efforts to secure the palm.
They were of a rather entertaining character
and elected much applause. 1t took over
two hours to read them all, and during that
time the members were convulsed with
merriment at the manner i'll which some of
ell -
standing in the society. The papers We're too
numerous to be published i'll full Only ex-
tracts from those which received honorable
mention can be given.
Mr.. Hogg reported having changed the
placard on a paralytics hand organ The
unfortunate mendicant showed a printed
notice which read:
Paralyzed by
Blast in the mines.
Mr.. Hogs store was in close proximity to
the hand organ, and by the use of pair Of
scissors and some glue he made the placard
to read:
Paralyzed bya
Blast in the newspapers
REPORT received with cheers.1
Mr. Rost's paper was to the effect that the
writer had taken the tomahawk from the
hand of an Indian used for a cigar store sign.
This report was Kissed by some of the mem
bers, but the committee on awards declared
it worthy of honorable mention.
MI. Wiggs report showed that that gentle
man had tried to pass a counterfeit quarter
on blind man. The latter arose, so the
paper read, and, shifting the earth with the
writer, stated that he had been watching the
'endeavOrS of a man who was mean enough
to- try to deceive a blind beggar" Mr. Wigg
showed a black eye lie had received in the
fray with the fellow.
MI Stump stated that he had discovered
means Of beating the defenseless weighing
machine that stands in hotels, railway sta
lions and other public places He said it was
his custom to weigh himself every twenty
five minutes, and he was S33 30 ahead of the
game. Loud applause.l
Mr., Tobes report was to the effect that he
had bought a dozen red wigs, and hired a
number of young women to wear them OH
the street, thus causing the already over
worked and sad eyed white horse much I'M
necessary running. [Cheers.l
The secretary read in a very droll wav the
paper handed i'll by Mr.. Fickes This member
received the palm last year. and it was
thought he would get it again, when it would
pass into his possession entirely, it being the
rule of the society to present the prize to any
gent eman winning it twice in succession
The pIprr, however. was a disappointment
Mr.. Fickes had given Il poor woman pass to
a lecture in the Historical society series
when she asked for bread
Considerable enthusiasm was awakened
when Mr.. Whiustone's report was given out.
He had Geen secretary for a year, and was
considered one of most prominent and mean
est men in the society. He reported that he
had remained at his club one night, but sent
a couple of parquet circle tickets to his wife
and mOther-in-law. When the ladies arrived
at the theatre they found that the tickets had
been issued for the night previous [Storm
of applause.l a second report by Mr.. Whin-
stone was to the effect that he had sent a
large bouquet of la France roses to the same
ladies by messenger boy, confidently expect
ing that they would wilt and wither before
the youth reached the house. [Cheers were
raised when the secretary read that the gen
tleman's fondest hopes had been realizedI
Many of the members were in favor of de-
claring the writer of the last report the
meanest man in the society, and loud calls
were made for him to make a speech Mr.
Whinstone would have given further evil
dence Of his fitness for the honored place had
not the president ordered the secretary to
continue reading the reports.
This ruling was received with favor and
the members became good tempered again as
they listened to the papers. When Mr.. Small
fellows was reached the gentlemen became
wild with enthusiasm. The report of this
member stated that the writer had been in
vited to attend friend in his last sickness,
and when alone by the dying man had drunk
his negus. [Great applausel In the morn
ing the friend died, and Mr.. Smallfellow re-
moved from his back a porous plaster that
had been put there the night before and
which was not much the worse for wear
As the members greeted this last statement
the scene was an inspiring one. Hats, hand
kerchiefs and canes were waved and cheer on
cheer fractured the air. After the enthu
siasm had somewhat tired itself, the palm
was unanimously awarded to Mr. Smallfel-
low. The members then adjourned to meet
one year i+-om date 1t is moro than
likely the general public will make the ac-
quaintance of some of the gentlemen.-San
Francisco Chronicle.
Loves DiSRniSe--
The anxiety of newly married couples
to appear like old married folks is pro-
verbal. When ex-Secretary of the Navy
Whitney, then promising young attor-
ney, was united in marriage to Miss
Flora PAYNE theV started from C1ava-