The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1890-01-14
THE FARMERS CANDIDATE.
BY WILLIAM PLOWBoY.

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day, and the usually quiet village OF
Locofocoville was all astir. The
Honorable Josiah Swindell, Junior
partner in the firm of Swinden &
Swindell, attorneys at-law, had been
chosen to represent his friends and
fellow citizens as a member of the
State Senate. To the good people of
the village and surrounding country
who crowded about him with their
congratulations, he was all smiles and
affabiity; because, perhaps, like most
politicians, he had learned that smiles
and affability, while costing but little,
are sometimes productive of consider
able returns. But FIVE or six of his
most enthusiastic supporters, whose
influence had been secured by his en-
abling them, on more than one occa
sion, to touch glasses together in front
of bar-room counter, soon found to
their sorrow that the distinguished
gentleman had disposed of all his
available cash during the campaign
In consequence of this astounding dis
covery, they repaired forthwith to the
corner grocery and passed resolutions
denouncing the Honorable Josiah as
a fraud; but the hard-working farm
ers aud mechanics who had elected
him could not restrain their joy over
the victory they had won. Was he
not The Farmers Candidate 2" Had
he not promised, throughout the
length and breadth of the district, to
fight against trusts and monopolios; to
see that his people should no longer
groan under the heel of the railroad
officials; in q word, to turn things
generally topside down for the bene-
fit of the working man? And was he
not now in position which would en-
able him to carry out his promise 2
During the afternoon rusty cannon
which had been captured from Corn
wallis at Yorktown. was brought out
in front of the courthouse for the
purpose Of firing a salute in honor of
the successful candidate. At the
third Jr fourth discharge the cannon
burst, and most respectable eolored
gentleman, who had not voted for the
idol of the people, received.a number
of splinters in the calf of his right
leg, to the complete satisfaction of
half dozen juvenile sovereigns partici-
pating in the celebration
Towards nightfau the recently
elected complained of headache and
retired to the privacy of his legal
sanctum, where he was Immediately
joined by Swindell, Senior.
"Now, Josiah, my. boy" said the
last named individual, after securely
boiling the door against all intruders,
"now, Josiah, my boy, it becomes a
duty for me to offer you some neces-
sary counsel, not only as father ad-
vising son, but also as one lawyer
advising another. Your position dur
ing the canvass in regard to trusts
and monopolies was the one thing
that defeated your opponent. 1t
caused you to be known as "The
Farmers Candidate;" it made the
farmers put their shoulders to the
wheels and pull your wagon through
the mire. Abusing the railroads
while you were electioneering for an
Office was all o. k; but now, my boy,
since the votes have been counted,
you must recollect that Swindeu &
Swindell are attorneys for the Bildad
and Jebusite Railroad A lawyers
first duty is to his client. He must
stand by that client under all Cir
cumstances and at all hazards. Now,
therefore, if that internal railroad
commission bill turns up in the Senate
during this term of the Legislature,
do not forget that we have been re-
tanned 10 protect the interests of the
Bildad lad Jebusite By the way, is
there any whisky In that flash on the
top shelf of the bookcase? Now
hand me the sugar and drop of
water, only drop, my boy-too much
water is not good for the digestion.
Ali"
Swindell, Senior, drained the last
drop from the glass, and crossing his
legs under the table, continued his re-
marks.
what fools these farmers are
Elect railroad attorney to the State
Senate and expect him to cast his vote
against the railroads. Humph! If
man is fool enough to work against
his own bread and butter, he had
better quit practicing law and turn
farmer. But, my boy, I have devised
a plan which will enable you to pull
the wool over the eyes of the people
and still remain solid with the Bildad
and Jebusite. Every member of the
Legislature, as you know, receives a
free pass over the railroads, which
pass holds good during his term of
Office. Very well. Now mark me,
Josiah. When you take the train for
Ralainh do not accent the mass ] will