Morning journal and courier., 1890-02-26
BEAUTIFUL.

Mrs. Packer (viewing the Angelus for the first time in Chicago) I can almost hear the whistlel"-Puck.
 Don't fret about what your reputation will be after death. Tombstones arc mighty charitable. Free Press. Young Navarro ssems to have followed tho advice of Ralph Waldo Emerson and "hitched his wagon to . star."-St. Paul Pioneer Press.
 De snith-''Do you suppose there is any thing serious between Travis and Hisa South maydf" Bloodgood-"Yss, I Ido-her father" :" Burlington Free Press.
 Alpine guide, who has tied himself to two tourists-'sNow, gentlemen, either of you slips speak quick, 50 that I can out the repe at oncel"-FlieRende Blatter. "Ma, the minister is coming" "What makes you think rot Did you sse himl" ssNo; but saw pa take tho parrot and lock 1t up in the stable. ."-New York Sun.
 "why did you leave your last plscsg' 'sThe missus called me names" 'sWhat did she call youi' ''She said were do- mestic, mum, and mo a hard workin' and honest woman as ever Hved."-Harper's Bazar.
 Mrs. McCorkle-"What is your son doing s:He Is . pharmacist" Mrs. MeCorkle-"A farm assist, is hei Why, hsered some one say he was clerking in drug store. D. Judge.
 Tailor-This suit fits you splendidly, but to be honest with you, 1t is likely to shrink. Young Han-I guess that will not be any disadvantage. I have just accepted my first call to preach on $4O0 salary.-Terrs Haute Express.
 she-"spsak out, Mr. Prudence, If you have anything to say" He-"No, thank you. There's . phonograph hid under tho center table, your little brother is under the sofa, the hired girl is listening at the key- hole, and your mother is looking over the banisters. The only thing that restraints mo I is my doubt a to the whereabouts of your l father."-Ysnowine's Nsws.
 "Yes, sir-yes, sir-ws are being taxed to death in this country" he shouted, as he stood on the rear platform of street ear.
 "How much taxes do you pay, for instancsr' How much do pays I-I-well. I'm not talking for myself, but for my brother. His taxes would have been at least $12 this year if he hadn't sold out."-Detroit Free Press. | A widower with . number of small chill
 dren married widow who was similarly
 blessed. In time the newly married couple added to the number. Hearing voice in
 the yard one day the father went out to see what was tho mAttsr. "Wsll, what is itF' aoko0 hl9 WIG. Ae ne returned out or breath.
 "Your children and my children are pound
 ing our children" was the reply.-Texas
 Siftings.
 The popular captain of Company G, Twelfth
 Vermont regiment, was strolling in the woods just out of camp ono day during the war,
 when he came upon member of his compa. ny sitting on the stump of tree and looking
 as though he had fought his last fight
 "What's the matter, BillI' said the captain
 "Oh, nothing" was the reply, "pm all right.
 "You look as though you had 1t of home
 sickness." ''No, sir" said Bill with some
 resentment, "nothing of the sort" "Well
 what are you thinking abeutp asked hil
 qusstioner. 'I was thinking" !" said the Yer
 montsr, ''that I wished I was in my father'l
 barn." ''In your fathers barni What or
 earth would you do if you were in your fath.
 er's barni" The poor follow uttered long,
 drawn sigh and said: ''Id go into the hous,
 mighty quick. Salem (Aaas.) Witch.