The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-05-04


10 scare him vita cross eyed women or
hive him and. his hosts by beating the
tlmbourine. the sackbut and the land
BIRD. Humanity, charity, soft soap and
useitisnuess VIII DO more toward Civ
lrg Satan THAT tired feeling than al
tie loud and onion favored h5sannas Of
misguided men and blescing women,
P5lo seek to haras5 the hosts of he'll with
bass drum while their own children,
fifth empty stomachs and unlaundlied
bses, weep at home.
But l was spe king Of Astoria. l
nught a perpendicular lot there, with
pockets in 1t and brackets for holding
tam implements. Astoria was settled
ntsll by -Ir. Astor, whose family are
saIt 20 be people Of mems. lis descend
antf live In New York and are among
Dur( est people The Astors and the
Nyes are quite tbicl-. They often Dor
row dishes Of US when they have com
pany come IL suddenly on them. While
Dur ancestors We're catching whales, the
Astors were catching ''mushrats." The
elder Aston. was p1ospered, however,
more than the elder Nyes, for when pc
troleum began to squirt through the
ground our folks mad 10 hire out to Capt.
Kidd. while the Ast2rs id wei in the
fur. pelt and green hide business.
4 Joria Is really good city and shows
mv.n thrift and enterprise. The Aston
family would do a very commendable
ait by establishing a library or some per-
panent institution there worthy Of them
flyes and the thriving town. There are
1000 people IN Astoria. The canned sal
non Is caught all along here, and the low
sob Of the steamer echoes back from the
rich green veivety moss which uphol-
ste-s the high steep banks, while ever
and anon the wall Of the sawmill calls
forth the sympathetic tears of the highly
saturated SKY, and the beautiful hills in
their FIR trimmed garments give back an
answering sigh.
While | was there the president is
sued his annual message, warning the
seal poachers 10 goright away from there.
BY law he has TO do this every year or
lose his pay. I wish l could get a chance
TO write a MESSAGE for the president one
year, or. still better, prepare the speech
of the queen for parliament. just one
would do me. presume it would also
do everybody else. But it would possess
its merits. | would write a speech for
the queen which, if she could memorize
it and get some good elocutionist to fix
some suitable gestures for it. would at
tract and draw forth comment anyhow.
Instead Of giving the long whiskered
and rather trite facts about being at
peace with the various foreign dynasties
that | had married into, | would give
whole lot of bright family gossip such
as must come to the ear of an old lady
in such a position of trust and conf
dence as she occupies, and would work
in little society notes and a department
called The Man About Town" The
annual message of the president, too. Is
open to criticism. Local hits abCslt
Washington would make the document
far more juicy and generally read. In.
stead Of going on with six or seven col
umns Of nonpareil advice and suggeS-
tons to congress rs to what TO do during
the coming session. | would boil it down
TO five lines by saying Gentlemen, You
may go nome and do your elecnoneering
if you please. instead OF coming to Wash
ington to do It. Leave your address
with me and l viii see that your salaries
are sent to you.
The salmon industry Is not So profit
able now as Il used to be. y salmon
that used to cost p cents now costs 81. %
to the cannery, 50 it IS a question with
them whether they can can or not. Yet
Isuppose that after certain manner. a
Man might GO wei in d salmon Caunery.
All STYLES OF business, however. on the
river and Sound seem to be doing Well
II we do not mention the canreries. there
are the pineries, tanneyieS, fisheries. eat
cries, drinkeries and town lotteries, l
do not know how the real estate men in
Astoria are, but certainly their lots.
many of them at least, lead an upright
life.
I Just heard Of young man in Port
land who came up with us on the steam
or California along with other things.
He Dragged a good deal in social circles
after he got home about how good
sailor he was, and made quite hero Of
himself. He made fun OF his fellow pas
sengers 4 great deal. and proceeded to be
the life CT the party. After awhile
young lady IN the group began to look
over some photographs and stereoscoPlc
views. Gradually she artlessly got the
attention of tie rest, and then she pro
1uced one which showed the young man