The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1890-10-23
character.

The Hon. Jock and myself formerly lived in
garrison where 10 took $50 men to look after
him. At first we occupied quarters together,
but life soon became burden under these cir
cumstances, 80 he was transferred to the guard,
and turned over from Sergeant to Sergeant
with the standing orders.
Mono sailed with ne writer in the South
Atlantic, and was he~ on board ship in tho
same estimation In haich tho famous Cardan
reports society to have held himself, namely,
on account of tho badness of his morals, no was
abhorred by all who knew him.
Hornaday, Selous. Wallace, and even Darwin
have made fine reports aud expressed favorable
opinions on tho moral sentiments of Simians,
and inferentially no doubt. monkeys share in
the advantages which, according TO Lindsay,
the average beast possesses over a man. These
specimens, however. were perhaps exceptions,
aud would never have lnnde the same impress
sion upon Miss Birds heart as did tho minor
apes of Malaeca. think that both were vari-
ations from au average and that their mental
and moral traits had originated similarly with
the general structure OF the human race. as
yirehows recent theory explains; that is to
say, by the propagation OF short series of
striking unlikencsses TO their ancestors; or, to
be exact. they had come about by hcterogene-
Sis My private opinion is that monkeys are
a bad lot, aud those whom ! have seen, both
in menageries, keeping company with
organ. grinders. residing In museums, or
disportinR themselves within forests, mp
peared no better than they should be. Judg-
ing by the way in which they conducted them
selves, their tastes were low and their natures
malign. That the Hon. Jock aud Senior Mono
were irretricvablo blaekguards nobody could
deny. Liars they were In iunumerable acts
consummate thieves. who valued purloined
property ESQ believej less for the pleasure its
possession gave them than from their con-
ariou n Hfafrsara ffs ts.au nell al
As for "swearing" when enraged, they both
transcended the poss fbilities of articulate
speech.
Let me particulariso little. Thus wrote a
philosophical acquaintance OF Jocks Ia PhiIa-
delphia paper; "As / came through the gate
by the guardhouso the other day, met q
monkey. Understand me my friends, mean
not q human. bot o real. genuine. African
monkey. / joined the crowd around him, and
gazed in wonder upon beast who, the day
before, had swallowed four ounces of nitrate of
silver solution. seven eonipeund cathartic pills
aud a bottle of cologne water. all OF which he
washed down with coplons draughts OF soap
suds; aud yet the animal lived aud moved aud
had It's being, aud gamboied rs monkeys will.
without any evident discomfort. And then |
reasoned with myself chat man, tho lord of
creation, should he attempt to go through such
q performance, would undoubtedly come TO
grief; and / couldn't sec tho fitness Of tho
thing. that this monkey should be his superior
in such dosing especially as man has had ok
ccllcnt practice IN the great art of being dosed."
On the occasion referred 10 the Hon. Jock
escaped from the guardhouse with as much
portable property as possible and made for his
masters quarters which he entered by means of
a pillar and the roof Of the porch. There hav-
Ing refreshed himself with course of physc,
he tore up the proceedings of two ourt-martial
cases, put the contents of "a backingbox in
the middle of the bed. burnt immense hole
In the IN ltting by striking matches aud finally
having washed his face in dilute nitric acid,
fled shroking out of tl5.window and had to be-
chased for several hours before he was caught