Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-04-18
HE CAME AT LAST.
a CROSSROADS Postmaster Finally Turns
Up in a Justices Court.

AZ A1NA M AAAJA
a CROSSROADS Postmaster Finally Turns
Up in a Justices Court.
"Your HONOR" said a tall, gaunt,
stoop-shouldered man that had been
arrested on a charge of excessive con-
VITALITY, st would forever ruin me to
be convicted in this court, and l there
fore beg of you to let me go home and
attend to my numerous duties"
"What are your numerous duties?"
the Judge asked
II keep a grocery and dry-goods
store at Billings Station. and, be-
sides, 1 am postmaster at that place
"Oh, you are a crossroads postmas-
ter, are you?" thejudge exclaimed. "Ah,
you afford me an opportunity that L
have long been seeking. I have been
i'll your store and asked if there were a
letter for me. 1 am delighted to have
you appear before me, sir. ] had hoped
and prayed to have you arranged here,
and as day after day 1 met with disap-
pointment, | had begun. to fear that
this time would never come"
You must be mistaken, your honor,
for I am positive that you We're never
in my house."
"Oh, probably not in your particular
house, sir, but you are all alike. Let
me give you a little picture: Four
o'clock in the afternoon. The mail
comes. 4. boy brings in the bag and
throws it on the counter. The people
stand about, waiting for their mail, cir
culars from patent medicine men, and
package OF seeds from Congressman,
and so on. Just as you are about to
open the mail, and after you have
showed a lot Of old rails in the fire and
have baited your mouse-trap, a fellow
comes along with a spring-wagon load
OF eggs. You haggle with him for
awhile, then agree to take the eggs.
Then you begin to count them, pausing
every now and then to shake one to de-
termine whether or not il is good. You
count eight hundred and seventy eggs,
and then turn around to attend to the
mail when a lank, hump-shouldered
boy comes in and says he wants to buy
a pair OF boots. Then you begin to
haul out your brogan boots and throw
them about in an effort to get a pair to
fit him; and, just as he is about to try
them on, he hears a noise outside and
makes a break for the door, thrilled
with the fear that his horse has broken
loose. He comes back after awhile, and
you sell him a pair Of two-dollar boots
for three dollars and a half. BY this
time somebody says, Jim, when air you
goin' to 'stribute that mail?' Putty
soon, now,' you reply. and then you go
out and break up some more old rails
to put into the store.
by this time it is ten minutes after
five o'clock. You get behind the
counter, take up the mail bag and then
discover that YOU have mislaid the key.
Somebody that saw you have the key
just before you began to count theeggs,
declares that you dropped it in the box.
You say you wouldn't be surprised, and
then begin to take out the eggs. You
take out the eight hundred and seventy
eggs, and, not finding the key, wonder
where you could have put it and then
proceed to put the eggs back again.
AT seven minutes to six you find the
key laying under a piece OF MANILA pa
per on which you have wiped your
greesy hands. Then Vol begin to fuss
with the lock on the mail bag, and you
wonder what can be the matter with it
never acted so before. Must be rusty.
Some fellow tells you to warm it and
then you hold it against the stove. Just
then agirl, wearing a red shawl over her
head, comes in and wants q pound of
candles. Well, it goes on this way I'M
til nearly seven o'clock and then you
open the mail and the first letter YOU
take up is addressed to John w. Wood
bridge. You read the name and say, I
don't know who he is. Anybody know
him?' No Il knows him, but a fellow
who has been standing with his elbows
on the counter, lifts his head, splits
through his teeth and says that it must
be intended for that fellow that came
into the neighborhood some time ago to
see one OF the Benson girls. You put
the letter aside after looking at it with
grave suspicion, and then say: Here
is a letter for old Bill Hickey. Any
body goin' out his way?' A bow-leg
fellow says that he will be going out
that way day after tomorrow, and you
let him take the letter. You keep up
this thing until:nearly eight o'clock, and
then sit down to read a newspaper that
has been sent to some other man. Yes,
sir" the Judge continued, Il am glad
to have you here for 1 shall now punish
you for some of your numerous crimes.
L will make your visit to this city last
ninety days."-Arkansaw Traveler.