Lewiston teller. [volume] (Lewiston, North Idaho) 1878-1900, 1890-07-10
WIT AND IUMOR.

depend upon the size Of the man.
Aea'ney Enterprise.
Very few women understand the art
OF getting OFT 4 joke or street-car.-
2t've Hautc Express.
He that is slow to anger rcgrctteth
not the idiocy incident to swollen
head.-OH city Blizzard.
We often repent of what we have
said, but never of that which we have
not said, -Ucnrer Road.
The queen of all bees is the husking
bee. You can distinguish her by her
red ear.-LWoeN Citizen.
The difference between liar and
hypocrite is that the liar is not always
incurablc. - Washington Star.
There are some men to whom a loss
of their regulations would mean mighty
good luck Washington Post.
Sometimes the lover who is fired
with passion for the daughter is put out
by the father.-P lttsburg Disputch.
The easiest money to spend and the
hardest money to save is that which we
have not yet earned.-N. Y. Ledger.
Bessie-"Dih you miss your first
husband very much?@ LulL MOT
until after married my sccond.-zAc
Epoch
The Rev. DR.. Primrosc-"When YOU
were stealth" the cake myEoung friend,
what thought did you have?" Little
Johnnie-''l thought nobody was look
ing."-The Epoch.
Iou may not have noticed it, but you
will find that the man who shakes hands
The hardest is the hardest to shake
Richmond Recorder.
Briggs-'I did not see you at church
last Sunday" Braggs mo; didn't
get in until YOU had gone to Sleep
Ierrs Haute Express.
1t is n settled fact that few people
can practice what they prcach-and
most men don't dare preach what. they
practice. ASHLAND Press.
Odd, isn't it, that among the German
and colorcd BARRIERS there are no Clan
na-Gael men. though they are all head
scenters?-Merchant 1rareler.
The mouse that gets caught in trap
can never be so young that it's friends
will not say it was old enough to have
known DECENTRALIZATION Globe.
A Bare Supposition: Mrs. Figg-
"What State is the Cherokee Strip in,
dear?" Mr.. Figg-''A state of nature.
l suppose. "-1erre Haute Express.
Reversing the Process: Widow with
six children Ito suitor) You love me,
George. and ask me to he your wife?
Well. then, ask my children. Y
Tribune.
The good are said to be happy; but
it is probably not because they spend
their time thinking how much better
they are than the rest of humanity
Boston transcript.
''And you say you would die for mep"
''Darling, l would with delight, "
"Then give me that test of your affec-
ton and will never we'd anothcr."-
Rttsburg Dispatch.
"Papa," said the little one, "will
there be newspapers in Heaven?"
perhaps. my child but there will be
new set of editors and reporters
Diron Telegraph
These cigars only cost IS cents
said Wifey. SO! Why there are least
hundred different scents to each
cigar" returned Hubby, and WHEY
wept.-M Y. Commercial.
A Miss Tardy of Boston has sued a
DR.. Early of the same city for breach
Of promise of marriage. A Tardy miss
can never expect to catch the Early
| WOrm.-PeOyiu TRANSCRIPT
Eyes, we two boys were thrown to-
gether good deal when we went to
! class. eh9" mo; we rode the same
mule. "-Det~oH Free Press.
Minnie-"How did you enjoy tn,
| play?" Mamie-"Not a bit. 1t turned
out to be n pantomime, and all the talk
ing we could do didn't annoy anybod.
bit."-Zerre Haute Express.
II seem very popular with you
fathers dog" said Herbert to Mabel
"Indeed?" Yes; the last time l trie'
to take my leave he did his best t
detain me. - Washington Post.
McFinglc--."1 am going to fit up
card-room. What sort of tables woul
You advise me to get?" McFangle-
whats the matter with plain. square
deal ones. "-LaWrence american.
Benevolent LADY, have been try
ing to find the Old Ladies' Home. Thi
is it, isn't itp" Doortender-"Ne
madam. This is the stage door of tn
Spectacular Theater."-N Y. Weekl,
Erratic Genius-'.I never use note
book to jot down my ideas. l find
handler to make notes on my cuffs.
His Friend (after glance at the cuffs
-"What with? Chalk?"- -Ierre Hdu
Express.
II love this OLD horse" said III
Colonel. II feel that he saved my Iii
Mt Gettysburg" .How?" ''He kicke
me in the stomach before the battle s
that couldn't go on the field, and m
substitute got shot in the neck. Cha
ter.
Pessimistic Auditor Cat concert)
"Seems to me that is mighty sho
program, considering the price the
charge" Optimistic Auditor-''O. "
. can easily get the worth of our none,
I,ot nnnowo orn-.th:,<r Woo