davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1890-08-28

Pastor-I should like to see you taking a
more active interest in religious things, Miss
Bessie. Miss Bessie-I-Im afraid it wouldn't
do, Mr.. Goodman; couldn't be spared from
he
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1890-08-28

The popularity Of Dobbins' Electric Soap is
that it acts right on the dirt and stains in
clothes and makes thempuve as S1ow, at the same
time it preserves the clothes, and makes them
keep clean longer. Have your grocer order it.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1890-08-28

Our preachers do not write so many or so
wise proverbs as did Solomon, but they have
fewer wives and better children.
An Austrian professor claims to have dis
covered that the soul is nothing more nor less
than the natural perfume Of the hair.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1890-08-28

The average lie has to walk on crutches
within week. You have never yet seen the
truth in a drug store trying to buy an artif-
cial limb.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1890-08-28

When Baby was sick, we gave her castoris,
When she was o Child, she cried for Castoria,
When she became Miss, she chung to Castoria,
When she had Children, she gave them castorla,
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1890-08-28

Pilgrims are not numerous in yeIu.
salem this year. but all the hotels are
crowded with tourists. chiefly Engliss
and American.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1890-08-28

Mrs. Goodman-John, have you been using
profanityl Rev. Goodman-Certainly not;
who said soi Mrs. Goodman-This lying
newspaper saws you made cursory remarks.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1890-08-28

Mild, gentle, soothing and
healing is DR.. Sage's Catarrh
Remedy. Only SO cents.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1890-08-28

The man who expects to get into heaven on
his wife's church membership, or the chickens
he fed the preacher, is taking awful chances.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1890-08-28

"Is that your better half, Mrs. Goodmanl"
was asked Of the minister's wife. "Yes," re-
piled the good lady. ''He is my altar ego"
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1890-08-28

Wife-"So they returned your manuscript.
II is too bad" Husband (who thinks he can
write)-"Yes; that is what the editor said
about It."
We shall not know each other there II we
are to identify our neighbor by what is said
on his tombstone.
The best natured man down town is the man
who has women folks at home to grumble at.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1890-08-28
Three Harvest Excursions.

II an ordinary man was muscled like a flea
he could throw book agent two miles.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1890-08-28

Shorthand writer's earn 81, 900 to So 900 a year.
Practical Shorthand advertised In this issue Is
the best. Give the boys and girls a chance.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1890-08-28

ONE ENJOYS
Both the method and results when
Syrup of Figs is taken; it pleasant
and refreshing to the taste, and acts
gentlyyetpromptly on the Kidneys,
Liver and Bowels, cleanses the sys-
tenn effectually, dispels colds, head
aches and fevers and cures habitual
constipation. Syrup of Figs is the
only remedy of its kind ever pro-
duced, pleasing to the taste and ac-
ceptable to the stomach, prompt in
its action and truly beneficial in its
effects, prepared only from the most
healthy and agreeable substances,
its many excellent qualities COM
mend it to all and have made it
the most popular remedy known.
Syrup of Figs is for sale in Doc
and 81 bottles by all leading drug
gists. Any reliable druggist who
may not have it on hand will pro-
cure it promptly for any one who
wishes to try it. Do not accept
any substitute.
CALIFORNIA re SYRUP co.
SAW FRANCISCO. CAL.
LOUISVILLE. Ky. NEW YORK. Nv
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1890-08-28

The hen is not cheerful fowl. She broods
q great deal.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1890-08-28

A race for favor in society Is always exciting.
More than one has been won by a neck.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1890-08-28
A Paying BusIness.

The leopard cannot change his spots, bu
Barnum can.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1890-08-28

KEAIPER HALL, DAVENPORT. IOWA.
A Church Boarding School for boys. Military
cpline. Home comforts. Thorough training.
Sixth year begins Sept. 18th. The Bishop of Iowa,
President. REV. z. G. WoLCoTT, Principal.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1890-08-28
j. A. JOHNSON, Medina, N. Y. says: Halls
Catarrh Cure cured me.n Sold by Druggists, 75c

Both preachers and baseball pitchers need
good style Of delivery to become successful
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1890-08-28
magic CURE F oan EEA

$500 for case of Lost or Failing Manhood,
General or or Nervous Debility, weakness OF body
young that we cannot cure. We guarantee every
case or refund every dollar Five days trial treat
ment full course So. Perceptible benefits real
lied in three days BY mail, securely packed from
observation. Cook Remedy Co., Omaha Neb
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1890-08-28
on WHICH PoEMs NAY RE WRITTEN.

Colorado. EIdh Eufu.r LqIs Hdnfton
- Garden o(hs ads. hoyd' Gorge.
Pike's Teak. Sierra Blqn-a, Tolfec Gjr1s.
- YEA IuSs. Great Salt Lake. OurdH
Gu Drsi Crs. Castle GATE. BLACK Canon.
- CHtricdnH NeSdIe. IT. H0lY CfOss.
The Canon n the Grand Riucr. MARSHALL PIss.
A.. 1niIads CANON tThs Rirer Of ost sogis.l
M. Abrams Toll n gGd, UaCOu Wheel Can
The great West. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1889-18??, 1890-09-19
A Fortune in Litigation.

Jean Thiery, a rich merchant and
ship owner in the Rhine provinces,
died in 1916, leaving a fortune of so,
600 Louis dor in Paris and 800, 900
thalers III the Venice mint. His heirs
for some unknown reason did not
draw the money from the depository
in Venice, SO at the end of the last
century Napoleon found it still I'M
touched and appropriated it to the
use of his army. For the last thirty
years the descendants OF Thiery have
been trying to find a way of recover
ing the 800, 900 thalers with interest.
Recently they all met in Cologne, and
resolved to send their lawyers to
Paris to move the French govern.
ment to pay over an indemnity. 1t
was said that the French chambers
had already considered their claims
and advised the government to pay
Letter.
The great West. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1889-18??, 1890-09-19
One Way to Court Accidents.

l saw an odd sight recently. A
small row boat was floating down
the East river inst below He'll Gate,
and in it was a German family, con-
sisting of the head of the household,
his wife, his sister and four children,
ranging all the way from seventeen
to six. They all had on their bath
ing suits, and were jumping off the
boat and scram bling back again
with the greatestglee. It was a won
der to me that they were not all
drowned, for not one OF them could
swim over two hundred yards at
most. and the tide was running fully
five miles an hour, carrying them and
the boat along together, but they
sputtered and splashed around in the
water, and seemed to enjoy it i'm
mensely.-New York Star.
The great West. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1889-18??, 1890-09-19
An Engineers Superstition.

An Engineers Superstition.
From the Pittsburgh Times.
Elias A. Sullivan, nicknamed by
friends "Yank" Sullivan, who brave
~ met death in the Baltimore and
Ohio wreck over week ago at Osce-
ola, was one of the best known en-
gineers on the road. "Yank" firmly
believed in all the peculiar supersti-
tions to which railroaders as class.
pin faith. Two months before his fatal
wreck he took his engine, No. Ats,
the largest on the road, out of the
repair shops. On his trip a wreck
occurred on the eastern division.
This cemented his half-hearted faith
in an unlucky Friday. His engine
needed repair shortly afterwards and
was ready for the road again on the
Friday previous to the night of his
death ride. This time "Yank" posi-
lively refused to go out, saying an
accident was sure to follow. His
fears were laughed to scorn by the
mem collected in the round-house,
and Sullivan took the engine. That
bis words were prophetic proved too
true and it would be impossible now
to get an engineer to take his engine
out of the Glenwood shops on Fri
day.
The great West. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1889-18??, 1890-09-19
Her Bonnet in a Blaze.

A wildly excited lady who was
Threatened with cremation from q
blazing bonnet was one of the fea-
lures Of travel on the Sixteenth street
cable. Before entering the car the
lady stood near a small steam en-
CINE used in hosting rock to the top
of one of the large buildings ON the
thorougfare. A spark from the en-
gine aliehted on the lady's bonnet,
and the rapid motion of the car soon
famed the smouldering embers into
a flame. The lady screamed and
would have jumped headlong to the
pavement had it not been for the
timely interference of DR.. J. p. Gull
lom, who seized her in his arms and
snatched the burning bonnet from
her head. The ladys hair was bad
ly singed, but she was not otherwise
injured. News.
The great West. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1889-18??, 1890-09-19
a Victory Won Too Late.

A Detroit wholesale house sent an
agent into one Of the northern eoun
ties the other day to investigate and
report on the failure of dry goods
man whose assets were below zero
The bankrupt was perfectly willing
to explain how it all happened.
'You see," he said, 81 got married
about two years ago. Up to that
time the postmaster and his wife had
been at the head of society here and
run the ranch. He had the only
swallow-tailed coat and she the only
silk dress in the town."
81 see."
eve had to make a lead for the
head and bought my wife a twelve
dollar bonnet and a diamond ring. -
"Yes."
1.-The postmaster responded by
buying his wife a broncho pony and
a pair of diamond earrings
"Yes."
"Then I subscribed 5000 to a new
church, gave two lawn parties and
bought a top carriage and PAGER"
He came up smiling with a new
brick house, a progressive euchre
party and gave $3.50 to the heathens
of Africa"
II see."
"Well, I had gone in to smash him
or lose a lung and SO pledged my
self for the preachers salary for a
year, lost $500 on a deal in wheat,
kept two hired girls, bought three
Persian rugs, backed barber shop,
took a halfinterestin our home news
paper and presented every church in
town with a bell"
''That must have laid him."
cit did. He threw up his hands
and surrendered; but when you fel-
lows in Detroit drew on me at three
days sight l was dished. I'm sorry
it happened, put you can't blame me
If that postmaster hadn't made
fool Of himself I'd have been able to
pay one hundred and fifty cents on
the dollar. "-Detroit Free Press.
The great West. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1889-18??, 1890-09-19
Restored After Five Years.

h0SSOi 00 Al (0L IIV0 I 0dISs
Five years ago little Johnny Hale,
than a lad only eight years old was
stolen from his home, near Marion,
Ind, by band of gypsies. The dis
tracted parents spent several years
trying to find traces of their missing
boy, but gave up the search, mourn
ing him as dead. The lad became
attached to his gypsy friends and
followed them on their pilgramage
through the western states. The
other day a boy-none other than
johnny Hale-stopped at the resi-
dence of a farmer named Joseph
Weikel, living near Elkhart. His
clothes were ragged and he had the
appearance Of a boy tramp. He
told Mr.. Weikel that the gypsies
with whom he had been making his
home bad maltreated him and that
he had run away, hoping to find his
way home to his mother and father.
The parents at Marion we're tele-
graphed, and the boy mourned for
dead for five long years is to be re-
stored to them.-Chicago Herald.
The great West. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1889-18??, 1890-09-19
When Man Appears a Fool,

How foolish man appears when.
he is arguing with railroad COM
pany about something that cannot,
be helped. For instance he has pur-.
chased a ticket to, say, New York.
He intends to travel at night CON-
Portable in lower berth on a Pull
man palace sleeping car. He steps
launtily up to the window of the
Pullman officer and says, in an of
hand way, "Give me a lower berth
on the 7:15 for New York; as he laws
down a five dollar bill. Haven't
berth left, sir" "What?' 1t is i'm
possible to describe the awful empha-
sis with which this monosylla BILE is
thundered forth, but we have alb
heard it and know how it sounds.
Then follows a long TRADE by the
traveller, who cannot understand
why some one is not to be turned
out of the berth he has paid for to
make room for the late conner; WHY
there are not more berths in car;
why there are not more sleepers on
the train, and, above all, why the
mperturbable clerk in the ticket Of
flee does not hold a conference on
the instant with the superintendent
of the Pittsburg division of the rail-
road to Elk it so that he can get a
BERTH" There are experiences of this
kind for the clerks every day, espc-
cially during the busy season. This
is the reason they are not disturbed
each time the inevitable too-late man
comes foaming up to the window.
And then the too-late man who will
not accept the inevitable always
looks such fool.-Pittsburg Bull
!etn.
The great West. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1889-18??, 1890-09-19
Migratory Bookkeeping.
Eros, the Monrovia CAL. Messenger.

An apiary on wheels is one of tbs
latest innovations in California. Aft
er the foothills have been pastured
the bee -herder moves his bees to a
higher elevation where the industri-
Gus insects gather the nectar stored
in the blossoms of wild clover, chap
pal and other plants, and when these
have been relieved OF thnir saccharine
matter the bees again moved to a
higher elevation, where flowers pc
cuIInr to their region yield up t,eiY
o aAnts TO them.
The great West. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1889-18??, 1890-09-19
A Little Girls Reasoning.

A little girl of four wise years Was
listing with her mother on Main
street, and at the dinner table the
mother insisted that she should eat
fish and potato on her plate before
being helped to dessert. The Child
turned gravely to her hostess and
observed: DO you know why nv
mother doesn't keep a pig? It's be-
cause she makes me eat up all the
evil. "-Springfield Homestead.
The great West. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1889-18??, 1890-09-19
PARTING wIrHlPHYLLls,

Phyllis, Phyllis. we must part;
For while y on will not see me;
Yet shall not break nv heart
Parting will from sorrow free me.
When before your ewes go
must do nay best to please vou;
But the more nv feelings glow
Something seems the more to freeze you
When l wander far away
can keep all sorrow under
Let US cease this folly. pray
We are better far asunGer
New York Tribune.
The great West. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1889-18??, 1890-09-19
He FiShed and Slept.

At Hannibal, Mo-, colored man
named Wilson fished from a bridge
As he fished he slept, and as he slept
he pitched forward into the stream
and never rose to the surface. When
they recovered his pole and line
there was q twenty-five pound cat
fish on the hook. Some men are al
ways too late forgood luck.-Detroit
Free Press.
The great West. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1889-18??, 1890-09-19

NOA "a OOICAAI.y w CIlesll ItuU W
discuss the execution as much as
they dared
'"The bodies of the three men we're
allowed to dangle in the air while all
on shipboard ate and discussed the
sad events of the day. The scene in
the officers cabin. was especially
striking. For around the table sat
those who had condemned the three
men to death, and at their head the
officer who had ordered the execu-
ton. The details of the alleged mu-
tiny was freely talked over, so one
Of the officers told me atterward.
But it always seemed strange that a
boy Is years Of age, good hearted
and full of mischief should have
scared the officers OF a vessel carrying
12O souls, most of whom he would
have had to throw overheard had he
undertaken the task of capturing the
ship and turning it into a piratical
craft. Looking at it to-day, it was
most barbarous stretch ofauthority,
that would be severely punished now.
'We had hardly finished eating
ana taking before a squall struck us
and we were quickly ordered on deck
to shorten sail and prepare for the
storm. The bodies were still swing
ing to and fro from the yardarm;
but when the ship had been put
to rights the captain ordered
them cut down, undressed and
prepared for burial. l have seen
many a man dropped into the
sea, but on the night of the
LIST of December, 1912, l took part
in the most solemn burial service
that was ever witnessed. Why the
captain waited until after night to
commit these bodies to the deep do
not know; but the preparations for
the sad event took nearly all after
noon and evening, and perhaps this
was the reason.
"A burial at sea is very solemn
affair, and as the crew of our man.
The great West. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1889-18??, 1890-09-19
A BOYISH MUTINY.

TRIKE the
bell eight!
Stand by!
Firetlle gun!
Walk away
W i t h the
whips! Roll
drum
"This was
the awful or
Telegram-herald. ([Grand Rapids, Mich.) 18??-1892, 1890-08-05

i sD..e - Democrats nos-s OF
aaooyzoas ARTICLES "a the N9rta -4soieqa
R.eu. Reeds positioa can nos be
saaksa. As 70 tie hOzls, no one cares
io1 teen. Ike the poor, we have
them Always sta ~. Faml arisy las
bred 3 suDeFianFe conteInpt for them.
As ID anonymous Articles on political
Questions, We have about s. much re-
specs for thsm as We have for secret 50
c.ety politics. Tn.s = What Reed saws
"a reply u the AertA AmeT ieea Rassa
2ad every word OF e : based upon
Darl aIneul4Ey lzE, as written AID
treated b. men whO were not ashamed
- put their names 70 taslr works:
The presence OF 4 majority Of the
.eg slatve body constitutes a quorum
u 90 business The essrnce u All uus-
mess on the part o. the legislative body
> the consent Of quorum Of that
body, either express OF implied. ltmsy
De a. thoroughly expressed oy silence a.
BY sound. Ia the parliamentary sense.
presence always implies full SIGHT and
member, thea, IS present IA full SIGHT
and sound OF all occurrences. ana II all
action 5 loudly pFocia med by cierk or
speaker, nc IS As much a party consent
ug u al that occurs as II he v0cltera-
-ed ia nls lOu1est tones. Ills all adj
mit. Even the writer OF this Anony-
nous article admits this IN all cases ex-
cept that OF yea and nay vote. Hence
rfr n.sr f.ffi ~ 10. "A
With that method OF determining tie
result.
1T must be obvious that all methods
on determining the consent OF the
members are or equal value. BY each
eyual validity. Whether the sense of
the House Is made manifest by mere
volume of sound or by the rising OF
members, IA their places, by mem
bers passing between tellers, or
difference whatever IN the result.
Laws passed either way have equal
force. WHAT, then, was the object of
the constitutional provision as TO yeas
aud nays? Was Il 10 establish Il new
and separate doctrine of quorum?
Was the quorum 10 lie a majority pres
tA4b NlCAl al OltiCL UlcLltDU5 VI OCitA-
mining the question were used, but a
majority voting when yeas and nays
were calledy Was there TO be one
quorum required in one case and an
other quorum IL another? Does II re-
qulre any different body TO pass bill
by yeas and nays than by rising vote?
A majority of the house being present,
can 40 members 10 one pass bill by
standing up, and not pass it by yeas and
nays? A claim like this utterly ignores
the meaning of the call for yeas and
nays, and the right to have 1t, which Is
gwen under the constitution. What
were the yeas and nays given for? Look
at the debates on the adoption OF the
constitution and you will see. 1t was
10 inform the people how their repre-
sentatives voted, If they voted AT all;
and also the fact that they did not
vote, If such was the case. The idea
that, in add ition 10 this, the constitu-
tlOnal quorUm was thereby instantly
shifted from a majority present TO a
majority acting is entirely modern
invention, as illogical as it is unconsti
tutlOnal."
Telegram-herald. ([Grand Rapids, Mich.) 18??-1892, 1890-08-05
WlNANS 6 WORKS,
Successors TO A. J. Fogg g. Coz
8 and 4 Tower Block. Phone $40.

WANTED second cooks, good csSket
w makers, cabinet makers. / man pastry
cook. fnishers. ) and Tower block.
WANTED-ll dtning-room girls, 2 house
W keepers, general house girls. plain
ironers / polisher. 2 dish washers. , pastery
cooks. general COOKS. man and wife COOKS.
for hotel. good general house giris Tor per
manent places out OF city. and Tower
block.
TOR SALE-9 acres in eastern part OF the
Il city. inside of city limits. VIII plat into
30 nice lots and MAKE big money. and !
Tower block.
EOR SALE-5 acres outside South Division
st. This is snap Tor some one, only
$3.50. and Tower block.
TOR SALE-Lot <sxl25 on ScTfbner. fair
IL house; can be bought By paying $3.50 down.
Balance easy. Price 5000. and Tower
block
y.rANTED-A tract Of white oak timber
" land. from 100 10 500 acres. Must be pear
railroad. South Tennessee preferred. Cash
sale. and Tower block.
yYANTED-By young man with capital a
W situation 10 finish learning mac0incst
trade: steel preferred. with view OF buying
an interest. 3 and Tower block.
TOR SALE-0ne grocery store. well located.
Doing good business. will invoice about
$1,000. and Tower block.
TOR sALE-Totel business in city, well 10
A. Gated. 20 rooms well furnished. rent SO
per month. always full Reasons for selling.
poor heath. and Tower block
TOR sALE-5room frame house or corner
Gllbertst-, 500. Terms easy. and
Tower block.
TOR SALE-Tvo or three thousand dollars
Il in good paying stock. Would exchange
for lots or house and lots and pay difference
II any AID Tower block.
WHY don't you bay that nice lot on Csss St.
w only $50; terms easy. and Tower
block.
TOR sALE-or exchange for good vacant
Il lot or In part payment on house. an up
rieht rosewood piano. frst-clsSs make. 3 and
4 Tower block.
TT YOU want your house rented. bring IN
4 YOU Keys. 3snd Tower block.
vYrAvTED-A partner WITH $50. - put into
" a good fuTnItu plant oa'ce work hig
opening for the right man. and Tower BIS.
IXTANTRD--To put from 1900 n 500 n some
W good reliable buSiness furniture pre-
ferred : and Tower block.
XVINANS W0REs-Real estate stocks
W bought and sod. PENSIONS business
chances ard employment bureau. money %
loan. 3 sad4 Tower block. Phone 80