The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1890-12-19
THE INDIAN
Discussisn OF This seasonable
Question From Scientific
0tandpOint.


Standpoint.
To THE EDITOR OF THE GRAPHIC:
/ have been very much interested in
the reports telegraphea from Dakota re-
garding the Indian situation there, and
knowing the habits and cccentricities Of
the Indians so we'll, l do not wonder
that the chsir-warmers in the Indian De-
partment regard the outlook as ominous.
Before entering upon an exhaustive dis
cussion Of the Indian problem it would
probably be best for me to direct atten-
ton to the fact that l am generally re-
garded as an authority upon this sub
ject. 1 mention this in order that the
ideas | shall spring upon the reader may
have due weight and receive respectful
attention.
As l was saying, the situation is full Of
gravity. There may be a few persons
around Boston and New Haven who feel
disposed to treat lightly the report that
the white settlers west Of Pittsburg are
in danger of humiliation and need
the protecting mantle Of the mil
itary thrown DER them, but their lack Of
faith merely goes to show the debilita-
ting effect of culture upon the human
system. With me it is different. 1 am
not only familiar with the Indian by rep
utation, but have had sundry and several
experiences with the animal. Yes, in
deed, l have seen him in all his varied
phases, and my knowledge warrants me
in telling the well-meaning but unen-
lightened people Of Boston that the calm
featnfeA Indian ,gllc stands guard at the
eo~staees # t6e HrD store and tle
l3at painted la1H E; 43 sstil. soag1
ambulance act in Dakota belong 10 EN-
tirely different species. The former is
comparatively harmless, while the latter
Is full OF guile and pfunes. Hence. when
the mighty chief Nickel-in-the-Slot takes
occasion to summon his tribe around him
at the opening Of the social season and
in his W majestic way commands, ION
with the dance, let joy be uncontned."
no n but the rankest kind Of a tender
foot would think of tempting fate by in
terrupting these festivities. The Indians
are great sticklers for etiquette in So
ciety matters, and any white trash TAX
ing the liberty or intruding upon any Of
their soirees without having had a form
al invitation would most likely be uncer-
enormously fired out. This is the usual
rule in all polite society circles. In fact,
Ward McAllister and myself have found
this plan the only effective safeguard
from contamination with the ommon
herd.
From a careful perusal eft several East.
ern journals which have "war correspon
dents" at the front" during the present
dancing season I am led to believe that
in the absence Of bloodshed the proper
caper is to have an imaginary interview
with some fiery, untamed sou of the for,
est and then telegraph the story to head
quarters for publication. This system
will probably be persu ed until either tn,
whites or the reds are forced to surrender
am glad this plan has been adopted, as
it establishes a precinct which enables
me to reproduce the sentiments expressed
to me by a famous aboriginal chieftan
some years ago. At that time l was al
unprominent citizen of the busting
borough of Kimball, and had been hon.
Ored by being named as one Of the mem
bers Of a committee to arrange fol
a Fourth Of July celebration. Among
the novelties proposed for the entertain
ment of the dear people was a grand In
dian war-dance, and Irv Weeks and my
self we're delegated to go to Crow Creel
agency and secure a few redskins for the
occasion. The Grow Creek agency was
always noted for the bloodthirstiness Of
its Indians, you know, and 1t NATURAL,
required a great deal Of bravery to max
a trip through their domain. We were
chose fer this important mission partl,
on account of our well-known reputation
rs Indian fighters. end partly Doc aus.
the community thought we would b,
missed less than anybody else in cas-,
anything fatally serious should harper
to us. At least that was what Major Jen
kins said.
The time o came for us to take on
departure. We were armed to the teetl
-Irv had q bottle in every pocket, and
took along a loaf Of bread and q cal
Of sardines for use in case Of an emergen
We set out early on a bright morn ii
June, buoyed up by the good wishes Of ad
miring friends. and boldly headed on
blackboard toward The bowling wilder
ness northwest of town. On, on we spet
ane sped and sped. We trayersed 1916!
without catching a glimpse OF a singl,
Indian, bat W. didn't mindit as we dit
lat case 10 inset any vi them. Alon.
/; toward MONDAY. however, we began ii
see signs of impending trouble. Try no
ticed a few fresh-laid footprints on til,
desert sands, and aftera critical examin
alton gave it as his candid opinion tina;
they were only a few hours old. Natter
were growing serious. Isuggested tina
perhaps 1t would be best to camp wher,
We were and resume our Journey ct nigh,
when we would not be % likely to be OBJ
served by the red devils, OF else retrac,
our steps and execute . asnk movemen