The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1890-05-16
miscellaneous.
THE LITTLE OLD LADY.


erfu11 was not well. The girl, after Civ.
ing her such impudence as you never
heard in all your born days, had told her
she was no lady, and had founced away
with her bandbox in her hand, shaking
her fist on the corner and anathemizing
the humble cottage from the back plat
form of the car as place not fit for
decent gurrel to stoop to live in. Conse-
quently Mrs. Quiverful had executed
her own washing, performed her own
cooking, accomplished her own dish
washing and velocipeded her own baby to
the accompaniment of what she described
as raving headache, and was not in the
humor to greet her lord and master with
the beaming smile recommended in
"Guides to Young Matrons," and other
excellent works written for the improve
ment of those who are married, princi
pally by those who never were.
Indeed, not only did she fail to smile,
but she positively frowned when Mr..
Quiverfull jokingly tickled her under
her chin and cried: ''Well, wifelet, how
has the world been going with you to-
day?" and answered:
"Going, indeed!" with tragic expires
sion and appropriate gesture, as of cast
ing all earthly things-Mr. Quiverfull
included-away in despair.
"Girl gomez" asked that gentleman, as
Stunning serious demeanor and pulling
his feeble red mutton chop whiskers
softly.
He was one of the few who still cling
with tenacity to those curious outgrowths
of the masculine cheek, and are rather
proud of them.
or the filth of the Kitchen" said Mrs.
Quiverfull. "Pve been crawling over it
on my hands and knees to scrub it, and
there is a nest of rats in the dresser
drawer and curtain of spider webs
over the window, and her three Saratoga
trunks right in the middle of the entry,
not sent for yet. And she has left her
hairbrush in the refrigerator and he1
pot of pomade in the meat safe"
"Dear, dear, dear!" sighed Mr.. Culver
full. "Now what shall I do for youi
How can 1 help?"
"Take those children from under my
heels" said lis lady, "if you want any
dinner"
"WeIl," said Mr.. Quiverfull, who had
eaten slice Of bread and cold boiled
egg at noon, and had had a long journey
from his office to his suburban cottage,
and was desperately hungry, ''well wife
let, just bite of something when it is
ready"
'tOh, I've no doubt. Nothing disturbs
a mans appetite" replied wifelet, who
was head taller than her spouse and
weighed considerably more. 'If were
at deaths door you could gobble."
Whereupon she founced into the htch-
en-, and Mr.. Quiverfull, somewhat in
jured as to his tenderest feelings, for his
wifelet had never used him thus before,
formed the five small specimens of young
America, who were rolling about the
floor, together into line, headed them
with the baby on his shoulder and
marched them into the garden, where he
played with them until his wifelet thrust
her head out of the window and re-
marked:
''After all my toll and trouble he in
tends to let the meat get cold before he
carves it,
Certainly" said Quiverfull to him
self, Amelia is upset today"
But all he did was to marshal his host
in doors and help to incase each in blue
check eating apron, and he tried to be
cheerful, poor man! and he praised the
dinner, and he told funny story that
Stibbs had told him, and he helped to
wipe the dishes afterward; but nothing
soothed his wifelet or restored her to her
usual condition of mind. She had made
up her mind that her lot was hard, that
she had made mistake in marrying a
small clerk in a small drug store, that
fate had afflicted her in bestowing five
boys upon her and in recently adding a
girl baby. All day she had been envy
ing a maiden lady opposite, who sat in
her luxurious apartment tanning herself
and reading. What happy fate was
hers! She had an immense income. She
boarded, she wore diamonds, she was
driven out every afternoon; she had nc
cares and responsibilities.
Later, when she had retired, the baby
asleep in her arms, and the five little
Quiverfulls in their cots and cribs in the
next room, she listened to her husbands
small, peculiar snore, like the purr of a
contented kitten, and scornfu1ly curled
her nose in the darkness.
"Why couldn't have waited for a
good match?" she said. "Why must l
marry red headed little man like that
wish l was Miss Stickleback."
eff you really wish it, you can be"
said little voice at her elbow, and open
ing her eyes widely, Mrs. Quiverfull saw
a little old lady perched upon the pin
cushion in her work basket.
She was very little old lady indeed.
not more than two feet high, and wore a
Vatican dress and powdered hair. She
was tanning herself with fan made Of
hu1nming birds feathers, and she laughed
as Mrs. Quiverful prepared to cover Le1
face with the sheet.
"You need not be afraid of me-" she
said. 81 am your well wisher. You
have never believed in fairies, I suppose?
Well, now you see one. l am fairy. /
heard you bemoaning yourself little
while ago-regretting that you were not
Miss Stickleback, and wishing yourself
rid of your little red haired husband
with a small salary, your five big boys
and your squalling infant can't blame
you, either, pretty woman like you.
You weren't made for dish washing and
dinner getting. Miss Stickleback does
have good time, but she wants hus-
band and offspring, SO, if you like, I'll
say few words, wave my hand and
change you. You shall be the wealthy