St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-06-24
THE RED-HEADED MAN.
A Street Car Conductor Has Hard
Work to Find Him, but His Fare
Was Paid by His Friend on the

A Street Car Conductor Has Hard
Work to Find Him, but His Fare
Was Paid by His Friend on the
Rear Platform.
Chicago Tribune.
Four men stood ON the rear platform
of a Cottage Grove avenue car. Several
stood ON the front platform. The car
within was crowded.
One OF the men on the rear platform
handed the conductor 10 cents and
said:
Il pay for two-my friend, who is
forward, and myself"
(Which is your friend?" asked the
conductor.
1.-The red-headed man."
Very soon after the conductor was
working his way forward through the
crowded car. He jostled against the
forms that were swinging like so many
flying trapeSe artists from the straps.
The long-legged wan who was sitting
doubled himself closer to avoid contact
with the conductor.
A man on the strap offered his fare.
The conductor looked at him and said:
"Your friend OH the rear of the car
paid your fare"
II have no friend on the rear plat
FORM" growled the man who had offered
his nickle.
1.-The gentleman on the rear platform
said he paid for red-headed man, and
your hair is red," said the conductor,
who didn't mean any diScourteSy.
"Blame your impertinence," roared
the man, ''didn't tell you l had no
friend? Here, take this fare if you
want it, and look around you and see if
there isn't some one else in our Internal
sardine box who has red hair"
NOwit happened that the long-legged
man, who had eyed the coming of the
conductor with apprehension, had a
growth of fiery red hair. The conductor
spied Elongatus and made for him.
II paid my own fare when got on at
Sixteenth street," he said.
$50 you did, SIR" answered the con-
ductor, right politely.
''Then why in Sam Hill do you come
for it again?"
said he paid for his red-headed friend,
and 1 noticed that your head is red,
mo remarks from you, sir. about my
hair! You are puppy. Go long and
attend to your business"
1t was evident that the conductor WIS
getting into water up to his chin-meta-
phOrically.
A man with macintosh about his
form and rimleSS derby on one side
of his head touched the hem of the
roundabout of the conductor, and as the
conductor stopped to hear what the
macintosh had to say, the macintosh
whispered:
"There's red-headed chap in the
corner talking to his girl. guess he's
the chap you are looking for.'
The conductor said ''Thanks"
are so many people VINO pretend to
know whet is the proper thing, who
say thanks. The conductor swung sew
eral forms around in making his way to
the corner where a little man was talk
ing to tall woman about $50 much wet
weather.
The conductor touched the little
mans sleeve and said "Fareplease."
The little man Swelled up and said:
"YOu fellahs don't know your busi-
ness. Why don't you buy an amatuah
Photographic outfit and take the pic
tuahs of yo' passengers who pay they
faihS? Now go on"
Haven't you friend on the rear
PLATFORM" asked the conductor.
''None of your business if have"
81 beg your pardon" replied the con-
ductor. "A gentleman on the rear plat
form said he paid for a red-headed
friend"
"Then why do you ask me for fare
again?" screeched the little man.
Il was only trying to find out" said
the conductor.
Il refuse to answah." put in the little
man, who then turned to the lady and
said that he sometimes thought he
would never ride in another street ear.
Besides" he said, with blush, my
hair is not red"
The conductor went back to the rear
platform and handed a nickel to the
man who had given him 10 cents.
whats that for?" asked the man.
s'That's all right" said the conductor
with an air of injured innocence.
''But don't understand it," said the
man.
"You may think it is the first of
April" said the conductor, ''but it isn't.
I'm in an extra nickel; but that's all
right"
81 certainly don't understand you,"
said the passenger. 81 gave you 10
cents for two passengers-my friend
and myself. told you my friend was
forward"
Eyes, know you did," said the con-
ductor. "You said he had red head,
too, didn't you?"
Yes; l said that so you would know
him."
YES" growIed the conductor. 81
reckon you think you're the only man
in Chicago who has red-headed friend,
don't you?"
The passenger looked confused. The
other men on the platform looked
amused.
81 said that my friend had red hair"
remarked the man who had paid two
fares. And he said it with all the gray
ity of Judge.
81 know you did," shouted the con-
ductor.
s'WelI," said the man, at last growing
heated, "what about it? What are you
going to do about it?''
''Do nothing"
''Then shut up"
There was Iull. Even the car
stopped. The man on the rear plat
form-he who had paid two fares-got
off. Another man got off the grip. This
last man had red hair. 1t dawned upon
the conductor that he had not gone as
far forward as the grip. And as he
jerked the bell-strap he said so that the
passengers on the platform heard him:
''Coufound a red-headed man, any
Eow."
Pity Others Don't Do Likewise.
WASHINGTON Letter in PhiladeIphia Press