Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1890-07-26
JOHNNY REB JOKES.
Stories From the Other Side OF the Late
Ensanguined Chasm.
From, the chat,snooea Times.

Prom the Chattanooga Times.
Once Gen. Hardee came across q straggler
and asked him why he did not travel faster
! and keep up with his command"
The soldier wished to know "~hat in the
deuce he had to do it"
''0nly that am Gen. Hardee. the commander
Of this department" was the reply.
''0h you wrote a book on tactics, did your"
81 did" said the general.
"well, said the private, II have been taught
| according to your rules how to double column
at half distance. Now wish you would tell
me how to dourle distance on half rations"
Gen. Hardee stuck spurs to his horse and
| Travelled on.
Early in the war one OF the men in South
Carolina brigade was on picket duty go caIled)
near Manassas. There was not a Yankee within
twenty miles OF us at that time. The next day
| there was 20 be an inspection. and our hero
had taken his gun all TO pieces and was rubbing
| u up so AS 10 make a shiue the next day when
inspected. while so doing Gen. Barham, who
| was unknown TO the soldier (who Was a new re-
cruitl, rode up. What are you doing there?''
said Gen. B. "0h. / am kind OF a sentinel:
| who are you, anyhow"
"oh, am only a kind Of brigadier gen.
eral," was the answer.
Hold on; wait until get this darned old
gun together and will give you a kind Of a
! But Gen. Barham did no. wait He went off
and reported the luckless soldier. who, in a
| short time, found himself "a kind" of a pris-
oner in "a kind" OF guard house and had to
DO number OF extra hours of duty as "a kind
| of sentinel.
| On one occasion a man from Georgia had
been very persistent in personal application to
| Gen. Lee for furlough. One morning the
general asked his tormentor il he understood
the position Of a soldier The latter said he did
| Naa nr6n 20 :. n
gave the command, right about face: forward
| march," As he never gave the command &C
| halt the Georgian kept on marching until he
] got tired; but this little hint cured him, and
his next application was through the usua
| channels.
When Gen. Malone was wounded at second
Manassas some one, to comfort Mrs. Malone
| said: "Oh, don't be uneasy; it's only fesi
wound" Mrs. Malone, through her tears
cried out: ''Oh, l know that is impossible
| There is not flesh enough on him for that"
don't know whether this is a joke on the
general or the private. A day or SO after the
old first reached Manassas junction, in August
| 1861 one Of the men, who did not clearly com
prehend his position. had the impudence TO ash
Gen. Beauregard where certain big guns thai
had just arrived from Richmond would be
placed" The general replied: Young man
] II the coat on my back knew the secrets Of nv
| heart would cut il in pieces"
On the Peninsula the gallant and jolly Gen
Bankhead Magruder had ordered a meal foi
himself and staff. A hungry reb-and who
ever saw one who was not hungry-came up &c
the farm house, espied the nicely filled table
and. without leave or license, sa. down and be
gan to annihilate things just then the gen
eral and friends walked in, escorted by the
| host. All were surprised.
| HALT" said fiery Magruder in terms more
| explicit than polite, lido YOU know whose tabl,
| that Is you are eating at?"
mo, sir, said John Reb, with his mouth full
| "Whose is it,"
Gen. Magruder's, sir, the commander OF thi
! department."
"All right, general" with another big mouth
ful. These war times amt particular where
eat or who eat with; sit down and max,
| yourself at home"
The foraging private was unceremoniousl,
| fired out, but not before he had nearly gottei
outside Of pretty square meal.