Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1890-09-07

me 20 take my niece out to luncheon and to see
her 20 the train taking her back to Newport.
When as ed her what she would have to eat
give you my word that l expected her to say
bread and milk. There was bread and milk
sweetness in the expression of her face and her
eyes were tovlne II their occurrences. Imagine
nv amaZement when the young creature asked for
a deviled -ab and abSinthe frappee. / could
have recognized the crab part of her order, but
the absinthe feature oft staggered me. l asked
her, IN apparently careless tones, if she was ac-
cnstomed to drinking absinthe. and she replied
that ever since learning to imhibe it year be-
fore she had been unable to break herself OF its
delicious spell. Ply clever management l pre-
vailed upon the girI to take champagne instead,
but when she accepted this SUI 5 Itute for her
f6voTite beverage, she Insisted upon having q
whisky cocktail as N a. petizer. After luncheon
/ relralned from ordering my regular pony OF
her, but she was on hand, you may be slre, and
reminded me that had forgotten
something when l was calling for my bill
She had her brandy and then | conducted her to
the train. There | found q troop of young fell
lows, and they all knew my niece most init
mstely. One of them proposed that eTcur-
sion be made to hotel across the street for e
bottle of wine, as the train did not leave Tor
fifteen minutes. When my niece reluctantly
discouraged this proposition she took small
silver hdgon from her pocket and offered it to
the discOnSolate youth that had made il. Upon
uuscrewing the cLp of the 1akOn and snihing it
the eyes OF the young man frightened, and he
took Graught that left urmistRkatle fra
GRANGE on the surrounding air. After getting
my niece away on the train / went SorrCwf lily
home, ana Nou may know now greatly depressed
] was at her conduct when l tell you that did
not drink another drop that night, That niece
OF mine is q society girl. and like all New York
society girls, she is addicted to cocktails ah-
sinLhe and champagne. II ever have n daugh-
ter, boys, l shall puc her into q Canadian con-
vent, and hate both Canada and convents' -
That's big joke on Cyril" heard several
OF my friends make this remark to each other
and ] determined at last TO institute inquiries
IS to what that big joke was, even If were re-
oil
seems that Cyril, who is what the boys call 8
''joliy good iellow'' AID e tremendous eater
had been increasing in weight rapidly that
his doctor limited him 10 4 cup OF coffee and roll
for breakfast, pain chop for luncheon ard .
little thin soup aud roast for dinner. Con
form take the consequences!'
.'But, DOCTOR pleaded Cyril, ''if I mayn't
eat let me die. 10 there really no helD for me?''
Yes replied the learned Esculapius;
'get married. Your meals are too serious
You don't talk enough while eating. It's too
much q business with you. Get married; and
L II be easier with you
Cyril didn't let the grass grow under his feet.
He took unto himself wife before the MON
had filled her horns. The prescription worked
admirably. The lady very intellge NJ, and
under the guidance OF the physician, delayed
the courses of the dinner, 81 ent quarter of an
hour preparing the salad, and often sent things
all no low. she had story for every dish.
Dinner lasted two hours, and Cyril was hungry
again by the time coffee was reached. He began
10 fret under the big anecdotes and small por-
tions. 1t was all wind pudding to him. He
longed for al old time meal. at which he used 20
leave nothing but the bones of q two pou nd por-
terhouse. Marriage was 4 failure, a dismal fall
ure. Up to this time he had never known
that he had a liver. Now he was
made aware OF the fact. The long
stories and endless tales about moth
ing were having a bad effect upon his liver. He
looked yellow and bilious He wasn't the same.
jolly good fellow. he lost flesh vIsibly, and his
skin almost tapped in the wind as he rounded
the corner OF Wall and Broad. He was changed
man. Cyril now suffers from dyspepsia in its
worst 70 m, and you may see him any day get
Ting what comfort he can out OF = slice Of gra.
ham bread and glass of no; milk.
Ihis is the big joke Cryil, and it all
goes to prove that marriage is in some cases
melancholy failure. wever, the doctor
chuekles and says: Cyril. saved you for
tic"
-.
1ou wouldn't imagine, would you, that boz
OF cSnGy Slven to ones wife by her true and
I Ha husband would lead TO a divorce suit? !
6 6et sucn Is the case. All the world thought |
clarence TO be most happily married, and the |
Women envied his plain looking little helpmeet.
SIalenee'wSs SO thoughtful, so considerable, so |
oeEoeeu- fanny never com planned of being left |
~ something wife must expect she |
exclaimed, and then, always know where |