Telegram-herald., 1890-10-13
TIE BOUNDING BILLION.
And the kneet il Has Upon
Mankind.
Ia Inas.eribaei< Delights sf = shers
yoyAEe F&istay fsrsrassa
Msi = j. MsE.

Potts rave sna bAss sololsls roar Of
the iOys of l.ie sl so, butthey should
hs branded as frauds "a id.ols. The
average man or woaaan Of experience
AL prefer 10 be Locked in the stable
with the sheep" rather than Rocked
ia tie CrSais u the Deea." II You aFe
skepuoAl, ~ i and bs convinced. Iake
Tor instance trip across the English
channel The steamer slldes grace
fuiay 0at OF the hsfbor. every oooy :
full Of JOY and glsdnes-, songs are upon
every tongue, and smiles on every lace.
In litteen minutes al Is changed. The
songs are hushed and the smiles give
way 10 deaIhly pzlior that soon be-
comes Il greenish gray. You fee
that you and your stomach are
10 longer acting IA peaceful
unity. The ship Is bounding Two and
fro ike bobO.ink on Il hGlithstle,
aud while you go with Il, yOnr stomach
does not. IL Insists on sinking about a
foot lower ihan YOU do every time YOU
= =
higher as YOU go up, go that YOU have
10 swallow with great assdn.ty 10 keep
the thing from getting into your hat.
The fiend who asks lie this hot enough
for your" ON land comes along at sea.
aud inquiries, "Well, how are you feel
ng?' YOU yearn for his hearts blood
but muster up ghas.ly smile aud re-
ply, "Oh, splendid"
f.Aa4 ~ 20 ~ ~ ~
and you s.agger toward the side of the
boat. Your hat l1Ows away, but you
don't care a continental. An awful
lurch brings you up against the side OF
the cabin with crash that makes
every rib Jingle. but like Hamlet. you
"haye that within which passes show.
These are but the accessories of your
woe. You look aloft and see the
masts swaying back and forth across
the sky, and your heart yearns with
sympathy for the far young gIrl with
wealth of sunny nair and great, melt
ing eyes, whose wiilOwy form hangs
! limp against the rail of the hurricane
deck just above you. But when that
ethereal, spirituelle person launches a
cataract OF soft boiled egg, mix toast
and other debris upon your devoted
head, you are "Aweary, aweSry, and
you would that she were dead"
The crisis that you have been dread
ing is upon you. A stern, pompous look
| ing man, who crosses every week and Is
never sick Leans laZiy back IN a steamer
chair, reading the London Times with
evident interest. You make rush for
the side of the vessel, hut film comes
over your eyes. All your past life
flashes through your mind and all the
food YOU have eaten for "a week seems
TO be spoutng from your throat. The
appalling profanity with winch the
pempous gentleman receives your offer
ing has no effect and he is obliged to
beat hasty retreat TO save himself
from more it. Some kind friend lead,
you 10 the side and you continue 10
spout until everything j. gone and your
false teeth go flying after the other
elections.
After while you feel better. An
analytical chemist could not discover
just how or where, but still it Is true.
! There are other woes to follow.
for you will have spells of
retching aud heaving until you
steam into port and there you
plunge into the nearest eating house
and eat until your buttons begin to
drop off. 1t is all over until next time.
1t is quite astonishing, too, how
people OF the highest degree of NOR
alty will lie about being seasick. Some
times you will be kept awake all night
by loud groans and such exclamations
as, "Oh, my" "Oh, Lord | know |
shall dIei" "Z-a-h-o-o-pl yee-ough!
a-a-hp' and then feeble, wailing voice
will say: "Oh, dear! oh, dear! Jus;
look at my night gownl look at my bed
and look at the fioorl"
A deep bass voice growls ont; "Shut
up I'm ten times seeker than you are.
If it hadn't been for you, I'd have
been at home now and in bed like q
Christian instead of being in this blank
blankety blank old ship. | know tnai
I've burst blood vessel or something
else. and that nay time is short"
Next day it Is calm. You see the two
billing and cOOing together like turtle
doves, and venture the inquiry:
"Were you SICK last nightg'
"Oh, no. We are both splendid sail
ors. ] must confess that felt a little
queer for q few minutes, but that was
all"
So it goes, trip after trip; but il must
be confessed that you feel better when
you are over it, and that is some salts
faction.