Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1890-10-11
THE BowsKR HOUSEHOLD.
One Days Events as Recorded by Mr.
Bowser.

From Detroit Free Press
Mr.. Bowser came home the other day ana
wanted the hammer for something. He found
il in the kitchen. where the girl had been using
il IS poker for the range Mr.. Bower gave
expression to his outraged feelings The girl
replied with Q good deal Of spirit and after
supper she got her wages and walked OF. Had
l been the cause of her going Mr. Bowser would
have read me a lesson forty rods long. Az he
was the cause il was all right He'd like 70 zee
the hired girl who could run his house while
he lived-didn't propose to take ''sass" from
anybody-wished he had discharged her out
right. &c.
All this happened on Monday. Tuesday 10
our wash day. didn't think Of 10 until after
'he giri had gone. Then said TO Mr.. Bovssr;
You'll have TO hunt around in the morning
ana get me washw oman. IL would have bees
better to LET the girl stay day longer"
Not minute longer"
But about the washing?"
ma woman or do il myself"
AFTER breakfast he took a walk through Che
locSnty where washwomen abound but hh
Suest was vain one. He came back 10 the
mouse about o'clock and said:
Mrs. Bowser, have decided to do the vash-
ing myself
You wash"
Al wlll. I'll do Il as a matter OF principle.
don I propose to have this house np.et re-
cause one hired girl gets her back nm nd
quits"
Let the washing so and I'll find a woman
Not by a jus-fulr Tha, washing viii all be
MT. Bowser: you can't wash; you will only
rub the skin of your knuckles. lame your hsci.
and make great muss of it."
Il will, eh2 That's all you know about itl
Now, then. don't want you 20 come foolinr
around. Don't you show your head in the
basement until the last rag is on the line"
Mr.. Bowser got into an old pair OF pants and
vest. changed his boots for slippers and dis-
appeared down stairs and at once started Gre.
L knew what the result would be- and while ne
was at the barn for wood ran down and res-
cued most of the fine clothes. He didn't notice
the fact and in few minutes had the water
heating. He had seen clothes boiling, and the
water was no sooner hot than he flled the
boiler helterskelter. / heard hum at t and
started down stairs to tell him that clothes
must be rubbed first
Go right back" he yelled 20 I struck the
first stair.
po But you are making agreat mistake, Mr..
Il know my business. and you 70 bach. III
don't know more about washing in one minute
than You do in week I'll eat these sheets and
table clothsr'
He boiled the clothes about half an hour.
and then came up and rummaged around the
pantry. suppose he had read Of some sub
stance to put into the boiler 10 save rubbing
but he wasn't clear as to what il was. He there
fore took a hslf-pound can of baking powder
and sltted 1t In to the last pinch. heard hun
upstairs, and half suspecting what he was
after, ran TO head him of. but too late.
Mr.. Bowser.' I called from the head Of the
basement stairs are you putting that sal-eoda
into the boiler?"
.-Sal-nonsenser' he growled I'm reply.
when don't know my business will apply
for Information
MIR. Bowser knew that bluing was part and
parcel OF the laundry business He had even
seen tub Of blue water At what stage OF the
game this blue business came in he didn't
know and he was too obstinate 20 induire
He took the clothes direct from the boiler and
sozzled them into a tub of cold water and, not
knowing how much of the blue to use, be de-
clded to empty in the whole bottle and be on
the safe side. He had pretty fair quality of
writing fluid when the water WAS stirred up.
At this point called to him:
Mr.. Bowser, how far along have You got?"
Don't you worry about me, Mrs Bowser.
I'll have the whole shooting match on the line
in half an hour"
He put the washboard into the blue tub and
began to rub the clothes in the cold water. He
might have had a faint suspicion that some
thing had been left of the program. but he
made up for il in energetic rubbing He went
wash! wash, wash for about twenty min
utes, and then there was an awful
Topping and splstterlng, az il q dozen ducks
were playing in the water. He was rinsing the
and then he appeared in the back yard with =
basket full of clothes 10 hang on the line. At
sight of him l had to sit down. The clothes
we're plum-blue and Mr.. Bowser plum
bluer. The great and only tattooed man"
couldn't hold candle to him. Just ~ be sp-
pcared in the yard farmers wife, who sells US
eggs, opened the back gate and walked IN.
Good Lor, but what is thisg" she calculated,
as she stood with open mouth
Its only me-" replied Mr.. Bovser: I've
been washing"
Washing what2 Why, man, you've spoiled
| everything there, to the last dud! Is your wife
sick, dead or run Off"
Aren't these clothes right"
Mani Man! but even Q heather would know
better!"
Just then one Of Mr. Bowser's downtown
friends drove through the alley in q buggy
He could see over the fence and when he saw
Mr. Bowser he pulled up hls horse 30 quickly
that the animal almost fell
lis that you, Bowser2" he called
eyes"
"well, what in the name Of past ages are you
doing?'
"Oh, n-nothing"
Nothing. I'll bet ten to one you're fitting
yourself for museum freak. Say, old man,
You have hit it, just file your teeth to a point
and you'll pass for a genuine cannIbaI!'
He drove on and the egg woman backed out
of the gate and said:
I've been furnishing you three dozen
week and I've never missed Tuesday, but
give you notice that don't come no more It
would be taking chances. A man is light 10
the head may be all right one day and VERY
violent the next. Love to your excellent wife
and I'm sorry for her"
Mr.. Bowser entered the kitchen in three
jumps. i sat there laughing until I could
hardly breathe. He lowered above me like q
mountain over a mouse, and after choking
and gasping for Q minute he roared out:
Mrs Bowser, you have finally done ID,
haven't you?"
What have done?"
:'What have you donel Got me to do the
washing and give myself away for an internal
idiot Look at me! Look at them duds IN the
yard!
MIR. Bowser, didn't I tell you not to try
it? Didn't do my best 10 keep you from try
ing it?"
mo! NeverI You encouraged me 10 60
aheadl''
Mr.. Bowserr
"Don't Mr.. Bowser me! This IL the end
The worm turns! Wen settle matters this very
day.
But Mr.. Bowser il still With me and have
no doubt We shall live and die together.
Omitting the Tobacco Rebate.
Chicago paper says: The internal revenue
department here has received information Of
a clerical error in the Mckinley bill recently