The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1890-01-05
WOES OF GOTHAM MOVERS
THE FORMULATING FURNITURE
or sLOcUM, JENKINS & co.
WHY DO sorac Families Move So often
Furniture That WIN Come In Door
Easily. but WIN Stick Going out-The
Txnltant Turnitzre Movers
Especial Corrcspci-enec J

| lAbIldnt
Especial Corrcspcs -enecl
NEW York. Jan. 2.-The plumbers Of
the apartment house districts have
Welded the palm 20 the furniture NOV
crs. I would rather be a furniture
mover. with lien on the patronage OF
any two west side streets between Fifty.
third and Sixty-fourth, than proprietor
Of n summer resort hotel. 1t is the sur.
est and safest cash business In the world
have seen one Of these modern pluto.
Gratis paid s. twice in two month"; foi
moving 81 worth Of furniture one bloct
and seven pairs Of stairs. That Is, tho
furniture would not sell for 81 after tho
second moving. And every day in tic
wear this mover is busy from morning
till nicht at the same rates His BIZ
covered vans outnumber two 10 one on
| anv dav in the week all the milk
and grocery wagons that frequent the
| neighborhood. II is safe to say that there
are families in at least three Of the streets
IN the territory named who have the full
benefit of their household effects les
| than nine-tenths OF the time, for they
| move regularly once a month, and at the
lowest estimate the tearing up. the NOV
ing and the bringing of order out OF
chaos again consumes four days and az
many nights. The subject is the more
! bcwildering IN that the closest inquiry
fails TO discover the ghost Of a reason
why these families should move at all
There is Jones, for instance. Durine
the last year Jones and his family have
devoted one-tenth of their time @
vibrating between Sixiy-second ano
Sixty-third streets. If Jones kept {
diary-which, between the tearing nr
and laying down Of carpets, hc has not
time TO dot would read like this:
Jan. 3l.-Nlovcd one block from thiro
aoor four room apartment to fifth foo
six room fiat. Bought new carpets ana
parlor set Smashed pier glass-bao
colds all around-d--l
Feb. 98.-Moved back TO four room
apartment Gave away carpet-smash
ed parlor set-worse colds -- -!
March 3l.-Movod around the corne
to eight room fat where Mrs. j. cal
keep two dodgers who viii pay all tho
rent and installmcnts on new furniture
Then fell down stairs with washtub full
of china and charged extra for same
colds still growing worse-thank good
ness. this is the last time.
Nav Moved TO former fifth foo
six room fat. Lodgers swindlcrs-fm
niturc men foreclosed-eyerything els,
getting very shabby - rheumatism -
- --,. This is the LAST time
Etc. ETC., with variations Throughout
the remaining months Of the year.
But the strangcst. most inexplicabl
feature Of the problem is that the NOV
ers are not satisfied. thought it would
be a merilorious act. one to be proud
in after years, 10 probe through tai
dissatisfaction, impale the grievance
and hold it up 10 public sympathy. Il
this end. / devoted an entire day {
viewing the subject from the standpoint
Of Mucgins & Son, who Move llousehol,
Goods with Intelligence and Care.
Nucgins q Son have two vans. Mug
gins drives one and Son drives the other
At sunrise Muegms set out, with hi
helper. to move the Jenkinsc9 back int
the Slocums' Sixty-second street flat
while al the same hour Son and hi
helper started forth tomovc the Slocum
back into the Jenkinses Sixty-thir,
street fiat. Muggins & Son were in
lively mood, and having each taken az
inaugural sip from two small, dark col
ored bottles kept under the horse blank
cts on the van seats, they separated joyi
ally. with the remark and response:
CHOW, Jack, here goes for the regula
monthly struggle with the Jcnkinses OK
tension table
"All right, pop, and here goes for th'
regular monthly wrestle with the Sl0
Gums rattan baby crib-hoop la!'
The fortunes Of Muggins and the Jen
kinses extension table were varied an,
impressive. The six legs Of that cele
brated piece of furniture had not grow
a hairs breadth shorter during the las
thirty days. and the lynx eyed landladl
was on hand as usual 10 see thatno pain
was knocked Off the door iambs.
BE careful and not scratch the top,
said Mrs jenkins.
Look out Don't break the legs,
yelled Mr. Jenkins.
"Stopl Stop You're marring I'll,
paintw screamed the landlady.
Muggins sat down on the carpet anC
scratched his head The door of the pri
yate hall was an inch and a half mar
rover than the other doors. and there
Muggns, his helper and the table stuck
IF knew how the blasted thing cam,
in" said Mnggins, I'd get it ont if j
took lee"
"Not a table leg" said Mrs. jenkins
wamingly
"No," said Muggins; tone Of mine OF
Pete's Anything that will come IL
through a door will 90 out through the
same door. But how did the inferno
thing get in? That's the question"
"You ought to know" said jenkins
You brought it in yourself a month ago
for three dollars, and now you're charg
Ing me four to take it out. 1t will pay
YOU to keep a note of such cases for fu
Wre reference"
Stupid" calculated Mrs. jenkins
by your own confession you are tn,
man it would pay to keep SUCH notes"
They stood the table on its side. They
stood il on its end They pulled it oui
TO its full length and got one pair Of leg
through But the middle pair stuck fas'
and the others poked themselves through
the kitchen door and hooked on to the
jamb with grip Of death. After hall
an hour Of general perspiration and pro
family, the tables protest against being
moved weakened enough to enable Mug
gins TO break its grip on the kitchen dooi
post.
Now. Pete, saidAluggins TO his help
er, "shut her up"
Pete shut her up with such good vii
that twoof Jenb ms fingersare in mourn
mo, GO. f1... 80 I,,r Q 80, Eli.