The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1890-09-11
PITH AND POINT.

Lay fgures-An estimate OF the egg
crop.
Made out of whole c.oth-Mosquito
netting.
A sharp advance in edged tools may
be looked for.-Picagune.
i. We might boast of our native cyclones,
but unfortunately they leave nothing to
blow about.-Pailadeiphia Times.
Wife-"How can make cake, joint
We are short of -four and sugar." Hus-
band-"Sure9 Then make shortcake. +"
o'Troubles never come 81. gly," as the
Young father remarked when they told
him It was twins.-Bsrlington Free Press.
The rhetoric of convlcts is aboninable;
at all events they have a great aversion
to finishing their sentences.-Phtadetph'd
Press.
"Business failures seem to come in
waves" remarked Cumso, "No, replied
Fangle, ''they come in bill-owes.
Epoch.
uWhy Brown doesn't know enough to
come in when it rains" 'He doesn't
need to, he has my best umbrella. -.
Bazdr.
The bunco man seems to have streak
ofSbenevolence about him. He is always
willing to take stranger in.-Boston )
Coa,nsercial.
He aimed, of course, at the maieens heart
She was SO fair and sweet. ts
But; soon, whether aiming right or wrong,
IIefound himself at her feet. y,
- itadeipbtd Times. ~
tsWho wrote the Psalms?' asked the
superintendent, severely. And then
little girl in the infant class began to cry.
'It wasn't me, sir, she said.-Re~ for6
Sun.
Mistress-i'Bridget," I wouldn't hang
the clothes on that electric wire. You
NAV get shocked. Bridget-"sure,
mum. I've semen all before. ."-Aunseys
Weekly.
He lat the baseball game)--"Do you
know what muff is, sweet| She
(blushing)-''Why, of course l do! Ii
is something your hands can meet ill.,
Burlington Free Press.
Crimple - "Don't you think Miss
Doxey plays better than she sings" MISS
Trumble-"I don't know. When hear
her sing I think she does. When she
plays I think she sings better. ."-Ne.a
York World.
Photographer Ito young LADY, -
"There is no need Of telling you to look
pleasant, miss. Such face cannot be
otherwise than pleasant" Young Lady
(graciouslO-"I will take two dozen,
sir. instead of one dozen. - Boston
Courier.
sis YOUR building frame9" asked the
insurance agent. "No," said the owner,
"lt is of iron and stone and warranted
perfectly fireproof." "Perfectly tlle-
proof, eh9 Then it comes in the extra
hazardous class, and the rate is much
higher than if it were simply frame. -
Nowistoon Herald.
"Do you know, my DEAR" said
Mr.. Darringer, as he smiled fondlJ
upon his young hopeful, "I be.
lieve that our boy has inherited my
amiable disposition2" "That explains
it." remarked his wife with demure
smile. "I'vc been wondering for some
time what had become of it. ."-7he Key
stone.
"My FRIEND" said the dignifed, cleri-
cal-looking man to his seat mate in the
car, ~ am afraid from the character OF
the book you are reading that you haven't
enough thought for the future"
Thought for the futurel Great Scottl
Ia member of the Chicago Board of
Trade9 Don't deal in futures !"- WASH
ington Post.
"Do you know" said one tramp to
another, "that the old dutfer who has
Just gone up the street had the impu-
dence to tell me that if hadn't spent
my money for whisky might be own
ing brick house." What did you sayf"
II reminded him with great sarcasticness
that brick houses is not fit ter drink. -
Washington Post.
Boy-"Please, sir, may l have the
afternoon Off My grandmother is to be
| buried" Employer-"This is the eighth
grandmother you have buried since the
baseball season opened" "Boy-1 know
it, sir, came of very old family, and
nv ancestors can't stand the excitement
of two leagues. They're dying off fast"
--Ne,o York Herald.
"You want to know the reason why !
did not take the pledge, Helen2" "Yes;
you promised to do it as proof of your
love-" "But 1 couldn't, because if l
swore that nothing intoxicating should
touch my lips, darling, how could kiss
YOU? See?" And lie acted as il he
would take a great deal of lip from her
before he would sign anything like a
pledge.-PhiladelphiG Press.