davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-03
BRIGHT BITS

a CHICAGO BARBEs says razor gets tired and
discouraged Sometimes No wonder; it is
strapped so ofteR-.Ierls SiftiHgs.
THERE is only one letter in . mans alphabet.
ana ana. that IS i only oEe in girls, ana that is
Is "U-"-Atchls0R Globe.
PEOPLE who growled about the color Of 'the
sickly green 2-cent stamp will now complain
because the gum on the new design is not
Favored with vaailla-- Pttsbarg CAronjcIe.
Is CASE OF FIRE the galleries in the United
plates senate can be emptied in four minutes.
In case OF speech by Senator Blair en- his edu-
catlonal bill they are enptied in about two
minutes. Norristol1H Herald.
\ CoAPRoMIsE.-Mrs Jiuks-My dear I wish
you would take me TO see Ibsen's new play.
Ar Jinks (who hates TO BE- boredj-Aly love. il
you II let the play 90 Tll-I'll accompany you
70 church next Sunday.-LJe.
WOVEN have what may be known as an ami
versary memory. They rememb7r every birth
day, wedding, and death anniversary in the
mel znborhood- You never saw a man who
could remember anything Ike that-Atchison
Globe.
our milkman's wife.
Dir. Aardhead-She's very becomingly attired
Mrs Hardhead-How sof
Mr.. Hardhead-She wears watered silk
Boston Beacon.
JUsrCE-I dislike to interrupt counsel. Mr..
MeCady. but it seems useless TO hear further
argument from you.
Mr.. 5icCady-I beg that your honor will hear
me through T1is abb is not the only one my
client can establish. He has another much
stronger yet.-The Epoch
1T WAS NEEDED.-"Where is the drawing
room;' asked Mrs. Strukoyle as she looked
over the architects plans.
Il thought perhaps the front and back mar
lors would obyiate-"
mo, indeed; we must have drawing room
Ior my daughter IS determined to be an artist =
-HaTper's Bdzdr.
The MINERS in a certain French coal mine
struck because the company would not build a
church The company supplied the church
ana the men struck again because the company
Wouldn't build saloon alongside the church
IL the company had been far SEEING enough to
have erected the saloon first they would nor
/ nave been asked to add a church.-NorytstolCn
Herald.
QUICK Work -"And to think" said he. as he
pressed her little hand, TO think that | never
saw you before tonight"
1T is sudden" she answered, but then
Yes" ne said. impulsiyely, lit is the old
oil story-the old, old story of love at first
And added to that" she gursled, my being
widow. '-BostoR Courier.
NEW YoRK's 7. OF W
A Worlds fair boom IN New York grew
Listen to IFS tale of woe;
A boom of some dimensions too.
Worked up by Whitney and Depey.
Only to see it tumble through
Listen to its tale of woe.
Hard trials for them two.
Billie Whitney and Depew.
And all the other boomers too
Alas. Chicagoed, 2. d. o.
Boo hoo, Boo hoo!
Listen 70 their tale of woe
o do. o do,
Listen to their tale of woe!
Washington Star.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-03
He Mashed g Hat
Eon TIE Yer York SIN.


Along about the middle Of the coach was a
airy. al-hOugh she had q very jaunry hat and a
seaisEln sacque- a Yong man got On az Cas-
tle, VINO stood at the door and looked the pa
s-1gcrs over for a minute or two. and he then
NalEed deliberately down the aisle AMI pumped
himself down beside the girl As be did 50
there was crash and crush. and he sprang
up % discover that he had sat down upon q
oa11oox ami mashed il tat
= m so sorry-so sorry he stammered IS he
turned ali sorts Of colors
Mister man" she replied. as she inspected
the run, have you got So in cash about yO1:"
W-Shati l really beg your pardon Indeed,
1 didn't
Pork .overr' she interrupted, holding out
her hand
Twelve dollars
Exactly. You have mashed SIP bonnet,
and | want the money
But. Miss-but--
Ny brother Bill IS forward in the smoking
car, and II you dOa't pay IN call him. There's
nothing cheap about Bill He'll knocz 50
worth OF jaw OF your chin before he gets
through with you
III pay. miss
That's business. Fifteen dollars. ehs Twelve
from fifteen leaves three. am here's the change
ana the hat. Next time you 90 70 kerplunk
down beside anybody look out for breakers"
4 oaS 70 apologize. miss he replied
On you needn't. you got OF cheap. If you
hadn smashed the hat I'd have pulled SIS
worth Of hair out Of your head anyhow
livery body felt sorry for the man He got
into seat at the end Of the car, closed himself
up Ike a Jackknife, and every time the door
opened what we could see Of him turned pale
Ior Iear II was her brother Bill.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-03
Tie E,-n. Eou- Movement

Tie leadi-g topic II labor circles : tie
eight hour movement which tie Federation
Of Labor proposes 20 izanSsTate Nav ! next
President Gonpsrs. q tie federation, was
interviewed in regard - the movement TIE
otEe- day, and ne said that the prospects of
is being q success were very encouraging.
He sd that be was daily Il receipt Of let
tsrS from vel known business men and poll
ticisns favo-inZ il. that the wuTkingmen
were enthusiastic about i, and that there
would probably be less opposition TO it than
was expected The public mind, be said,
had bsea educated up 20 the fact that the
proposed reduction Of the hours Of labor did
not mean the derangems1t or injury Of
business, but the prosperity Of TIE employ
ing classes. followed BY the improvement Of
the wags-earaers, wac would become better
thinkers, better citizsas and better men
There viii not be a general demand
throughou. the country NAY for eight
hours as a working day. but the federation
viii select a certain trade in a certain local
ity TO MAKE the first demand. and all Of the
influence and power of the federation,
which includes mora than COO. 900 members,
and which Is financially strong. will be con-
centrated upon that trade and locality.
Other trades in other localities will not be
discouraged IL they wish to make the de-
ma1d at the same time, however. At q
nesting held Feb. {, it was decided to cal
for the latest information, in order TO de-
termine which trade should be selected to
begin the movement. Eventually the fed
GRAFTON hopes TO secure the eight-hour work
ing day for all Of the trades
This movement viii not be confined to
America. but viii take in a number of
European countries. 1t will be the most
gigantic labor movement ever attempted,
but its extensive character, while seeming
at first glance point in its favor, may in
reality be al impedimens to its success. In
Europe socialistic doctrines have spread
widely among the workingmen, who in a
movement of this kind are likely to cast
aside the conservatism that will probably
be displayed in this country, aud to resort
to radical measures. and in that event the
antagonism of employers would be stronger
than it would be other wise, and the suffer-
ing and violence attendant upon strikes
might have a depressing effect upon the
movement IN America
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-03

The MczmSs NEEs Il On fils a. The following
places, where Advertising Rates and other il
formation regarding tie paper car Be obtained;
NEW YORK CITY
J. h BATES. 3 PARK Row.
G. P. R0wELL & Co. 70 Spruce street
". W SHAs s C, q Park RoE.
FRANK kIERSAS & Co. i59 Broadway.
DAUCEE & Co. 2 PARK Plsce-
J. ". THoMPsoS. 50 PARK Row
AMERICAN y E7TsPAPER PCEEl5EEzs ASSOCIATION,
Potter BlliiiEg.
PHILADELPHIA
=. ". AYER & S0S, TINES Building
BOSTON
s. r NILS, 25s Washington street.
PETTEss6ILL * Co. 10 STATE stree-
CHICAGO
LoRD & Ta0gAs, IS Rzadolph street
c NCTNNATI-
EDWIN ALDzS C0xPAyT. 6 west Fourth street
NEW HAVEN
TIE H P HrssARD CoxPAST. = Elm street
ST LOUIS
NELs9,s CHEsxAS & Co, liz Pine street.
ATLANTA-
NoESrSs NK<s BCREAU. 81 Whitehall street
MACON
DAILY TELEsaAPz OFFIcz. So Mulberry street.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-03
She Wanted a Vacation.
From the CHICAGO Tribune.

FFOHt tue ChtCtgO IFfOune.
John, think I should like to visit nv old
home in the east, a month or two this sum
mer."
II don't know, Maria. I'm afraid can't snare
the time from my business"
II m not asking You to go, John. I can make
the trip myself without any trouble
You would get homesick if you were to STAY
away from home as long as that
how"
Qrritsbly) whats the matter with Won
Maria? Haven't 1 been a good enough nus
bandg"
4 am not making any complaint about You.
John. am l."
Anti affectionate enoughs Haven't I al
ways kissed You when | went away from home
in the morning, and when came back in the
evening, every day for the last twenty-five
years?"
Yes, and you've had big chew of plug to-
bacco in your mouth every morning and even
ing for the last twenty-five years, too. Think /
want vacation, John
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-03

President Carnot. of France, doesn't see
why this country doesn't hold four great
fairs in 1892, one in each of the cities of New
York, Chicago, st. Louis and Washington.
He says that the foreign exhibits could be
made at the one in New York. 1t begins
to look as if the prospects Of having fair
in 1892 were not particularly bright
Ex-Speaker Keifer was in Washington a
few days ago. He refused to talk about
politics, except to say that he was greatly
pleased with Speaker Reds rulings. This
was to be expected. While Keifer was
speaker, he made few arbitrary rulings
himself, and he has never been able to get
back into Office since his term expired. The
country viii be benefited if Reed is forced TO
join him in retirement.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-03
The Men Who Hiss the Train.

s ". Foss fa Yankee Blade
1 loaf aroun' the depoo just to see the Pullman
scoot
An to see the people seamper wen they hear the
ingine tOot:
But " at makes the most impression on my
sOmew az active brain
Is the careless men who get there Jest in time
TO miss the train
An some cuss the railroad comp'ny, an some
loudly cuss their stars.
An some Jes gallop down the track an try to
catch the cars:
An some with a loud laff and joke will poultice
up their pain;
Var'us kin's er people get there jest in time to
miss the train.
An there is many deepos an flag stations tn
out name
Along the grand Trunk railroad that leads 10
wealth and fame;
An men rush to these deepos as fast as they
can fly.
AS the train of Opportunity jest goes a thunder.
in by.
The Grand Trunk Railroad of Success it runs
through every cline,
But the cars of opportunity they go on SEIZED
ule time.
And never are the brakes reversed-they won't
back up again
To take the men who get there just in time to
miss the train
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-03
1t Was Unconstitutional.

That must have been near relative Of Sen
stor Call of whom Col. W of the engineer
corps told me the other day. The colonel had
been sent down 10 & certain hlori Ia stream. the
improvement of which was contemplated in one
70 gauge its water. While engaged with his
men in this pefarion an old fellow cams along
with a cart. drawn by a single OK. on which was
a small quantity Of WOOD. Hating his team as
he came near, he said:
'What on 'arth are them men doin' thar"
Well replied the colonel. they are trying
10 fad OUT bow many bucketfuls OF water run
down this creek in tsenty-four hours
TIE man gazed az the party In mute wonder
and asked:
Mister. are that factg"
Yes. said tbs colonel. that is just what
they are doing.
After an earnest contemplation the man
shoOk bis head, and In grave tones replied:
We'll mister, 10 d. appear % nae that that
thar thing are ouconstttOoEi0nal"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-03
Discovered on the Train.


Funny about Charley Ross, wasn't it9,,
Querled one of the sitters in Detroit drug store
the other evening.
1T wasn't very funny for me-" replied one
Of the group. who had lately moved to Detroit.
why not?'
well. about year after he was stolen I was
on Lake Shore train in Ohio. Two seats ahead
of me was man with boy. He was tough
looking man. and the boy picture of the
lost Charley Ross -
And you vent for him:''
Il made sure that l had the game in nv
hands, got on at the same station he did, and
then coilared him.
Yes y
well, it didn't take him over ten minutes To
prove that he kept grocery in that very town,
and that the boy was his son. He in turn. ar
rested me- and when I was hauled into court
and tried it cost me over s., 900 in cash"
"And-and-"
That's ALL / have been minding nv own
business ever since, and shall probably continue
to do so.''
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-03
His Faith Returned.
From the Detro,. Eee Prs

From the Detroit Free Press
Look a-here," he said. as he approached
Officer Button at the Third street depot the
other day, have you any faith left in human
naturef''
Very little sir, was the prompt reply.
You look upon most people as dead-beats
and snarpers?"
II do
Beat you if they can't
They viii. They'd steal my teeth if they
weren't solid in the jaw"
You have lent money once or twice, I
presumed"
Il have, sir"
And never gotit backg'
Never"
well, I've got to tackle you Just the same -
continued the man. Dye see that woman with
the red bow?''
Yes"
She's my bride; married last week; came in
on our bridal tour. We toured too long for the
size OF my wallet and now 1 lack Just cents of
enough to buy our tickets home"
Only cents?f'
That's all. If any Teller in Michigan can
plan bridal tour closer than that I'd like to
meet him"
SO would L Here's quarter. sir, and that
will give you 81 cents for peanuts and apples on
the train. Car is now ready sir, and there's tn 3
ticket Office. Go home and be jod and happy. =
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-03
NDEI TO NEW ADVERTISEMENTS,

AEETISss-DeRaIb Lodge No. 2. L o. o. F.;
Georgia Historical Society Georgia Regatta
Association: Nesting Of CItizsns
SPECIAL SoTICEs-NotIce. Palmer Brothers I;
Two Blocks Of Lots al Private sale, by LARoche
q Mclaughlin; Notice. Edwin H Abrahams.
STEAMSHIP SCHEDULES - Ocean Steamship
Company; Baltimore Steamship Company;
General Transatlantic Company.
AUCTIoS sALEs-Groceries. Furniture, etc, by
C. d Dorset; Mirrors. Marble Tables, etc, by
c. p. Miller; Splendid House and Lot, by La
Roche & Mclaughlin.
SsURANcE-Statsment Of the Mutual Life In
surance Company OF New York.
CHEAP COLUMN ADVERTISEMENTS Help
Wanted; Employment Wanted; For Rent; For
Sale; Lost; Personal: Miscellaneous
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-03
Admitted the Force of the Argument

Several years ago, before he became a mem
Der OF congress, Representative Crisp of Geor-
gia was Judge. writes New York Tribune
correspondent. While travelling one day on his
circuit the trace which fastened his buggy
broke, and the judge spent half an hour of his
valuable time in vain endeavor to repair the
damage. While he was venting his anger on
the trace and the world in general a negro
came along. Mr. Crisp told him of his trouble.
The negro let out the trace, cut a hole in the
leather, and the job was done.
why on earth did mt | think of thatf" re-
marked the judge more to himself than to the
negro.
Well. don't you know, marster. some folks
is jest maturity smarter than t'other, - said the
colored man.
Perhaps you are right admitted the Judge:
but what shall give you for fixing the trace,
Pears to me 80 cents would be bout right,
marster, " was the answer.
What; Fifty cents! Why, you were mt three
minutes doing it."
20, marster. you don't suppose charge Won
30 cents for doing jet dat. I only charge you a
quarter for the JOB. The other quarter is for
knowing how TO do it.
The judge admitted there was some philos-
ophy in the explanation. and paid for both
services without another murmur
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-03

Some days ago Cleveland-hating news
paper, claiming to be democratic, but at
heart anything but democratic, said in an
unpleasant way that Mr.. Cleveland was
continually growing fattsr, and it fire.
quently refers to him as "the fat fraud. u
Republican newspapers are now copying
the statement, but they announce that it
emanates from "Mr. Cleveland's friends"
Mr. Cleveland's friends are not concerning
themselves about his weight. They have
not discovered that he weighs more than
usual, but they think that, as a public man,
he becomes bigger as 1892 approaches. This
is not what the Clevea nd hating newspaper
meant, but it is what it might have said
without doing violence to truth.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-03

A burglar who was arrested in New York
few days ago said, when arraigned in
court, that he went to New York from
Chicago. in anticipation that the worlds
fair would pc held there. and that IN ex-
pected to make a good living ro5bing houses
aud people. The judge sentenced him to
three years in the peniteltiary, and told
him that if there was anything that con-
soled New York for losing the fair, it was
that she thereby got rid of the army of
thieves who would have fockei there.
There is a silver lining to every cloud.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-03

Mr.. Chauncsy 81. Dsoew has lost his ap-
pellation Of Columbus NJ. Depew, and no is
not as likely to be nominated for President
In 1902 as he would have been il the worlds
fair had bean voted to New York. IL Is
hinted thai President Harrison had some
thiag 20 do with this. He is said 70 have
bsc5me Jealous Of "O1r Chauncey.#
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-03
OUR NEW YORK oFFICE.

Ma J. J. FLYSx has been appointed Genera:
Advertising Agent Of the MozSISS NEvs, with
81 ONCE at 3 PARK Row, New York Al adTer-
Using business outside Of the states Of Georgia,
florida and South Carolina VIII be managed By
him
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-03
eau . ana Effect.

From the SeD Kork ErsHiR1 Post lTnd.).
II VIII doubtless seem harsh thing TO say,
out no caflf,l1 person can ras1 the history Of
the proceedings in the federal courts Of F1orida
Wllca prece1sd The shooting Of Saunders with
out the conviction that they were calculated TO
lead TO exactly such "a outbreak of. violence
sSzins- an officer Of the court
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-03

Jimmy Caufeld, Of New York. is a
smart boy-a very smart boy inieed He
is altogether too smart The other night
he wen. to Bowery variety show and saw
a aan twirl half dollar in the air and
catch it between his teeth as it descended.
Jimmy liked that sort Of thing immensely,
and the next morning be tried it himself.
lie found It easisr than he expectec-so
easy. 10 fact. that al the first trial the coin
not only came isto his mouth, but went
doen nis throat Tho doctors think be
$ u gst BsiL
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-03
Prohibition Itam.

SMITH an sorry. Jones, that / can't offer
you anything 10 rink.
Jones-Never mind me; it's good idea not
% keep il 10 the house.
But do keep it in the house. as a general
thing. bot ParsOn Puruwa.er. my wife's uncle a
pruliDiuOnst lecturer b visiting US, and
see. You don't want 20 shock bis sensibili-
ties.
II amt that; be drinks Il al up. The LAST
drop went last night aftsr his lsctune.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-03
a Suggestion to wauamaker.

From the NaSkrflls american (Denl.l.
There are q great many competent negroes in
1lsylEania, Mr.. Wanau2k-r's state. and good
republicans too; why don he try mis- hand on
L11Alng some OF them pOstnasters: II will be
Al rlgnt with the white people Of Pennsylvania.
lie republican element IN that state have been
almost dying for some time 70 set southern
people an exannnla
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-03
Damaged by the Cold.

Freezing weather came late this year in
this section, and it has done a great deal of
damage to fruit and vegetables 1t is i'm
possible to determine yet how great the
damage is. In our local columns this morn
ing there are statements of truck farmers
in this immediate vicinity from which it
appears that they have suffered pretty
severe losses. Some of them needed the
warning given by the signal service
of the coming cold wave, and
guarded against 1t to some extent,
but they were unable to protect
themselves fully. 1t can be determined
tomorrow, doubtless, or next day, whether
or not the fruit has been injured. It is
probable that in some parts of this state and
Florida peach trees have been SO much in
jured that they will bear no peaches this
year, and it would not be surprising if the
orange trees have suffered to some extent.
As for the berry crop, there does not appear
TO be much ground for hoping that it has
escaped destruction, though there are those
who think that blooms will appear on the
vines again later in the season.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-03


.~-------------------
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- MORNING news Savannah. Ga
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The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-03

Previous to the vote for Chicogo for the
worlds fair New York regarded that city
with Indifference, but now she is little
Jealous of Chicago, and if the worlds fair
is really held there. she viii have considera-
bic cause in a few years to be jealous For
this New York has herself and her republi-
can bosses to blame.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-03

Mr.. Robert Garrett seems TO be much i'm
proved in health He attended the theater
Ia Baltimore recently, and the remarks as
70 his healthy appearance were very nu-
merous. He enjoyed the performance, and
applauded some of the things which struck
him as being particularly good
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-03

The Senate spent an hour considering
Senator Sherman's antitrust bill the other
day. There are several antitrust bills to
be considered by the Senate, but it is hardly
to be expected that a republican body, COM
posed largely of millionaires, will give the
right kind of attention to them.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-03
WIN Hold Power oy Al Means.
- = - -. -.

u y. -aAl74ly 7 lllts ILIsllE
40 political party ever exisfei prepared to do
more desperate and RECKLESS things 70 maintain
= A7eel.ae1cy thau thar w1icl nov holds 4 ma
1oriry IN hots housss and owns q President al
TIE os1eT eud q Pennsylvania avenue ready 10
90 is bidding
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-03
CURRENT CONVENT
There May BE No Fair.

u IS T-st A. vel TO remember that IL IS no:
yei setl.z- El1ethsr there Is 70 b worlds fair
e IA De State has not voted upon Il, and
al tla- tie House has de- led II that Il snail be
he'd Il Chicago II he'd anyEle7e.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-03

Editor Frank Hatton OF the Washington
Fost threw some light upon the question
how the secrets of Senate executive sessions
leaked out when he said the other day:
my instructions to reporters are to get
everything going on; and if they are very
successful, they get their salaries raised"
Consequently his reporters hustle for the
news, and they understand that the best
way to get the secrets Of executive sessions
Is 70 pump the senator's.