The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-10-09
BRIGHT BITS.
No HELP so plenty as advice,
Whene'er ones in a hole:

Whenever ones in hole:
AS downward comes tie price of ice,
Up goes the cost OF coal.
-Bu6alo Courier.
Yet once they were of high renown.
Their names, kind reader would you know?
They were: He Sundayed in -Our-Town,'
And 'lt-Begins-to Look as Though"
Chicago Tribune
>. BLINKs-Been travelling in Europe, chr How
did you find the hotels? -t9n
JInks-Hired a cab.-Good NetUS
KIND COUNTRY COUSINS with whom city rela-
tlves boarded all summer will soon try the
blessings of reciprocity. Baltimore american
SUNDAY SCHOOL TEAcHER-Love thy neighbor
as myself. Who is Thy neighbour"
Little Girl-Please. nam, the folks as Dor
rows from us-PiGck.
ETHEL-Poor Clara! She is growing old
Maud-lt must seem sad to you, seeing you
have known her since she was an infant in
arms.-New York Herald.
''MR. PowDERLY reminds me of a play once
saw"
what was it?"
"'A Night OF. Puck
REPUBLICAN CoNGREssM AN-what shall we do,
Mr.; President, in case we lose the House?
The President absent mindedy)--O, we shall
still have the cottage.-Puck.
FIVE HUNDRED WOMEN voted at the school
election in Binghamton Wednesday, and re-
port says that every one of them had on a new
bonnet. This is a new power in politics, but o
how potent Rochester Post-E Express.
KILLED BY OvERwoRx.-
They lay upon their dying beds,
With gasps they drew their feeble breath;
Grief had brought low their ouce proud heads,
They had-alGs!-been worked to death.
LITTLE DAUGHrER-Say, mamma won't you
take me to Cousin James funeral?
Mamma-No, petite, you went TO the matt
nee yesterday and party last night. You
mustn't have too many entertainments at a time
From the French.
mo WONDER Bjenkins failed said Biohnson.
He was never willing to listen to good advice. "
What do you mean by good advice?" asked
bystander.
why, my advice" said Bjohnson, briefly
SomerUtHe journal.
ALroE-Boo, hoo my Charley has gone, and
l am afraid shall never see him again.
Maude--Why, what's the matter? He has
only gone to college, hasn't he?
Yes, b-but he's ggoing to p-play on the foot
ball acknowledgements AmericGn.
HE told him to spell hostility. HORSE, s.
commenced Pat
Not horse-tility," said the teacher, but
hostility"
Sure" replied Pat, IAN didn't We tell me
the other day not to say 'hoss?' Be jabbers
it's one thing wild We one day and another the
mkt. "-EngtiSh Exchange.
OLD TRUMPLEY and May sweetly were playing
euchre.
do you know" he remarked. that when.
ever you hold the joker your lover is thinkin,
of you"
Whenever May found the joker in her hand
she could not help blushing.
Old Trumpley watched her face. He won
most of the games.-Light.
BACHELOR DUDE-Aw, l say now, this is q
horrid joke
FIiend-What's the matter now?
Bachelor Dude-Aw, some fellow has sent me
circular OF Yellings liquid food for infants
It's low, coarse joke.
Frend-No joke about it. They probably
thought if you had no baby you might like il
for yourself LoI0cn Citizen.
Mr. TENDERLoIN-What shall wear! I've
never been yachting, don't cher know?
Mr.. Tuffnutte-Oh, something dark But have
| your clothes very loose.
Mr.. Tenderloin-And shall l have a state
room?
MIR. Tuffnutte-What On thirty foot boat!
Mr.. Tenderloin-B where shall l sleep?
Mr.. Tunnutte-H your clothes are roomy
why. sleep in them.--CLothier and Furnisher
PROPRIETOR OF LIVERY STABLE-Eleven car
riages at O'Clock in the morning? What in
| the world do you want with so many?
MIR Blllus Tin tremendous rage)-Just got q
| telegram from Mrs. Billus. She's on her way
| home from trip east She says: meet me
at depot at o'clock in the morning" There
are eleven depots here. Mrs. Blllus shall be
met at the depot with a carriage at 8 O'Clock
| tomorrow morning. by jocks if 1t costs house
and lot!'-Chicdgo tribune.