davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1890-04-11
Respect to tho Church.

In Rus a it is customary for all lay
men, the Emperor himself included, TO
show their outward respect for the
church by kissing the hands Of its min
listers. On one occasion it is related
that village priest, receiving Grand
Duke at his church door, and having no
experience Of such exalted personages,
hesitated to offer him his hand; the
Grand Duke, getting impatient, is re-
ported to have exclaimed: Stretch out
your paw, you FOOL" Homage of so per-
functory a character is little likely to
raise the clergy in the esteem OF their
6ocks.-Ath en8um.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1890-04-11

If there is any place where time is
money, it is upon the farm. We can
not afford to waste it working with dull
tools. Have the hoe sharp, and time
will be saved in the garden. Have the
pillow point sharp, and time and horse
power will be saved in the field. Have
the harrow teeth sharp, and the harrow
will do better work with less labor.
Have the scythe sharp, and it will be
easy to keep down the weeds that will
spring up in out-of-the-way corners.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1890-04-11
What He Thought of Them.

Enthusiastic Proprietor-What do you
think Of the new hotel?
Prospective Guest (difident,y) -
Rather fine.
Z. p - Fine? Grand, think! Did
you notice the fresco work in the
dining-room and the new furniture in
the hall?
p. G.-Yes, noticed them.
Z. p. consistently - Well, what do
you think?
p. G. (gloonily) = Oh, I suppose I'll
have to pay for them before l leave
Lippincotts.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1890-04-11
LAtrAsASaIice.

Farmer Oatley (reaiing from news
paper to his wife)-It is estimated that
the recent dinner given by Mrs Bunder-
ten dollars plate. Gee wh;z, Ma-thy!
what must the victuals have cost?
Mrs. Oatley-Lands sake, Joshua! and
such folks always has a different plate
for every thing they eat.-The Jury.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1890-04-11

THE BACK-GATE PROTECTOR AT WORK.
leased at will by person standing at
the house door When the whistling
and humping butchers boy backs up
against the gate and begins to initiate
stage thunder with his heels and the
gate the cook has only to step to the
door, pull the string, and the opening
gate fans the boy, basket and all, across
tae alley aud against the opposite fence.
The cost of the back-gate apparatus
is figured at six dollars each, with all
the attachments, and the device is cal
culated to convince any noisy boy or
prowling tramp on the first trial.
The report of the committee was
unanimously adopted by the association,
and it was suggested that the right to
use the two devices might be sold in the
different sections of the city. An ap-
plication for the exclusive privilege in
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1890-04-11
What Was Wanted.

Tobey Wedd Enormously, just before
the ceremony - Say, Fred, see that
every thing goes off al right I'm SO
afraid there will be a hitch in the pro-
ceedings somewhere.
Best Mana hitch! OF course. TIL
see that there is.-Lawrence American
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1890-04-11
Why IL ~ AS PosIpOned

Charley Jones-Well, did you propose
to Miss Binks at the Tompk:ns recep-
ton last night as you intended2
Bobby Smith-No; the conservatory
was occupied at the time L wanted it
THAT so? Who was in there?"
"Miss Binks and Tom Robinson. -
Time.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1890-04-11
Easy to Please.

Tranp-Have you got something fo-
me to do?
Farmer-No, guess not; there is not
much work just now.
Tramp dent need much. You
would be surprised to see with how
little work | could worry aiong-Texas
Siftings.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1890-04-11
Dlferent ADVICE in Din.rent Cases.

Patient-Well, what do you find is the
matter, doctor?.
Doctor-You are very bilious, sir, and
you must at once stop drinking-by the
way, do you live in your own home or
do you board?
Patient-Board.
Doctor-Then, as l was about to say,
you must stop drinking chicory.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1890-04-11
The Ruling Passion,

"Papa, what do you intend to give me
for birthday PRESENT." asked young
girl of her father, welI-known New
York magistrate.
''Give you?" said the magistrate,
whose mind was evidently on sone-
thing else, ''give you? I'll give you
six months IN Y. Ledger.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1890-04-11
"Another Thing, We Know

English Snob-Why do you 60 around
with that dawg? hate dawg, doncher
know?
American Dude-But not that dawg.
You would love that dawg. His mother
was owned by is royal ighness.
English Snob-Aw, noble bwute! Do
you mind if l pat him on the 'ed-Texas
Siftings.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1890-04-11
THE M'KlNlEY BILL.

1t . Good Enough. Hut Doesn't Cut Quite
Deep Enough Into Direct Taxes.
As a measure of relief to the swollen
condition of the revenue the bill upon
which the ways and means committee
Is reported to have agreed may be sue
cessful, but we Opine that better re-
suits would have ensued had the pro-
posed reduction been made more large
ly a! the expense of the internal reve-
nua. The tax on manufactured tobacco
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1890-04-11
Handled with Care.

81 don't see why you criticise the mail
service. sent a letter to a man in Chi
cago a month ago."
And when did he get ftp"
HE didn't get it. The letter came
back to me in good shape, and that after
having gone way out to San Francisco
Life
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1890-04-11
"HeU IOst tut NH EeHCes
/ send You the description of a wired

post for rail- fence.
/ think this is the
cheapest and strong.
est fence that can
be made out of old
rails. You can wire
the post either be-
fore or after it is
set. Begin at the
bottom of the post
and wire as you see
shown in the cut,
then fas t 9 n with
staple W h e re the
wire crosses; after
the rail is put in
hit the wire above
tho roil op3 ~ will
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1890-04-11
Ready to Be Dished,

Little Tim Whose father is a poll
tician)-Now, l guess we'll have some
thing to eat.
Mother-What do you mean, Jimmy?
Little Tim-Why, every body is sayin'
that pas goose is cooked. Chicago
Globe
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1890-04-11

the same as the ordinary slide latch,
except that il has at one end two levers
fastened to it and the gate. At the 9TH
er end is slot, through which bolt
works, fastened in the gate. The illus
trations plainly show how any one can
construct it.-Farm and Fireside.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1890-04-11

rocently steps upon the mat and pulls
the bell. When the maid opens the
.oor he sweetly asks: SIS the lady of
the house imp" and the maid as sweetly
replies: "Yes, she is in, at the same time
touching an electric button on the door
post, which releases the powerful spring
and away sails Mr.. Book-Agent in a
parabolic curve to the opposite side of
the street. The committee reported
that device of this character could be
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1890-04-11
Binks' Arithmetic.

Johnny-How many days are there in
year. papa?
Mr.. Binks-Let me see. Your mother
was born in AS and she is now 70 years
old. Three tum five is fifteen, one to
carry-oh, ali! Yes, there are 462 days
in year-Lawrence American.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1890-04-11

the eastern end of the Thirty
ward was filed that evening, and it is
understood that the devices will first be
put into practical use in that sectis.n OF
the city.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1890-04-11
But It Is Such . Good Cause.

Fangle-What do you think of this
piece of newspaper advice: Tell your
wife every day that you love hsr?"
Cumso-I don't think that the papers
ought to encourage lying. -Epoch
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1890-04-11
How 1t Happened.

A.-You are so modest don't see how
you ever came to propose to your wife.
B.-That was very simple. said moth
ing, and she said nothing, and SO one
word brought on another. Texas Sift-
ings.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1890-04-11
Day and Night.

''She isn't handsome in the daytime,
but get her at night in the ballroom, by
George! she is like one of Hoyt's plays"
''What are you talking about?'
"'The Midnight Belle. '"-Munsey's
Weekly
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1890-04-11
A SHINING EXAMPLE.

Husband ION the insiie)-I suppose if
some people wou,d $50 me now they
would say was herpecked. hut doa't
care. l hain'tgotno objections to holm
the baby awhile to relieve an over
worked wife.-The jury.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1890-04-11
TnmmY'a NaiYeffa.

observation-disclosures, what did
you disobey me fo-?
Tommy-'Cos l thought you'd whip
me.
School-Mistress-What did you want
me to whip you for?
Tommy--'Cos pa said he would il you
didn't, and he hurts -Harper's Bazar.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1890-04-11
A Gifted Butcher hoy.

'Who put those eggs on the mat?'
said the cook, opening the door.
Il just laid them there replied the
butcher boy.-N Y. Sun.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1890-04-11

GOOD roads cost money. but there is
nothing for which money is expended
that brings more satisfactory return.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1890-04-11
Gate.LatcA.

A New Jersey friend sends drawing
of gate fastener. The wind can not
jar it open, neither can cattle push it
open with their horns. 1t is constructed
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1890-04-11
A PEDDLER KICKER.
Householders Have at Last Found
a Protector.

The Householders' Mutual Protective
and Beneficial Association has mapped
out vigorous policy for the new year,
says the Philadelphia Record, and ex-
poets soon to inaugurate several impor-
tant reforms in domestic economy. The
last meeting of the association was held
on Saturday evening, January 4, and at
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1890-04-11

put in place for eighteen dollars. The
principal defect in the apparatus is the
necessity for calling the hired man to set
the trap again after it has fired off a
peddler, but the associations engineer
hopes to remedy this.
The second part of the committees
report deals with the back-gate prob
lem, and suggests the use of powerful
spring on the alley gate that can be re-
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1890-04-11
PREVALENCE OF "LUMP-JAW."

be tight w. Marshall, in Farm and
Fireside.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1890-04-11

Ia That Iowa has a Democratic gov
eminent is an accident But that ALL.
son was reelected to the Senate was not
an accident by any means. -Bm lington
Hawkeye.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1890-04-11

9-H. S. Ives escapes after appro-
priating in the neighborhod Of Sic. OOO,-
900. The skill and magnitude of his
operations have saved him, and it is a
burning disgrace to the courts of New
York city and it's business methods-for
both are at fault-that he has escaped.
A better district attorney would have
probably convicted Ives; but it suited
President Cleveland $. political needs tc
urge the election of Fellows. and the
big rogues have had pretty good chance
of acquittal since Press
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1890-04-11

B The leading Democratic papers of
gerrymander of Ohio In strong terms.
They understand clearly that it will
react on Democracy.-Toledo (O.) Blade.
, 1890-10-03
A BISHOPS VISIT.
RI. Rev. Thos. Bonacum of Lincoln
in Town.
With Father Nugent He Will Tour
the State.
Prospects of Restoration of the
See of wyoming.

BIT Rev, Thos. Bonacnm, Bishop of
Lincoln. reached the city yesterday and
became the guest OF Rev. Father Nugent.
Rev. Father Cummisky of Laramie and
Rev. Father E. G. McEIhone, OF Phila-
delphia, arc also at the home of the Chey-
enne priest. Father McElhone is Father
Nugent's uncle.
The visit of the Bishop of Lincoln is
frauRht with importance to this city. 1t
portends the restoration of the See of
Wyoming and ioreshadows the early ep-
pointment of a bishop of Cheyenne, as
the successor to the Rt. Rev. Maurice f.
Burke.
I. A reporter who called at the episcopal
last evening found the bishop pleasantly
taciturn. He would only smilingly intim-
ate that his mission here was material and
refused to be drawn out in this direction /.
Bishop Bopacum is greatly pleased with
Cheyenne and believes Wyoming a grand
young state with a glorious future. He
sets great store by the agricultural devel-
opment of the commonwealth.
This morning the visiting bishop and
Father NuReDt will start on a tour of
Wyoming Tomorrow they will spend at
Evanston and put in Sunday al Salt
Lake. Next week they return to the
capital by stages, stopping at every town
on the line of the Union Pacific. From
here they journey north to Newcastle.
There the bishop will leave for his home
at Lincoln.
1t is hoped that Bishop Bonacum will
not fail to visit Fremont, Sheridan and
johnson counties and the farming DIS
tricts of Laramie, Albany and Converse.
counties. In his travels be could
not resist the conviction that Wyom-
ing's capacity to support an agricul-
tural people is great and it is certain as
anything can be that the soil tillers of the
state will always prosper. The conditions
are these: Large mining and manufactur-
ing population, comparatively small farm
ing area and irrigation, insuring crops aud
market.
In a short time the result of the bish-
ops investigations will be known. II
laymen can see Alright he can scarcely re-
frsin from recommending for a bishop
of Wyoming.
, 1890-10-03
A FEW PLAIN WORDS
How Subscribers NAV Get More Than
Their Moneys worth.

With many OF our subscribers there is
a misunderstanding in regard to the
premiums offered by this paper. These
premiums are for any subscriber old or
new. There is no secret or deception
about this business. As a rule we buy
our goods direct from publishers and
manufacturers in lots. and at wholesale
prices and our subscribers get the benefit
of our bargains. THE LEADER is the
first paper in Wyoming to offer premiums
to its subscribers, but the business is an
old one and one which has grown
to such immense proportions that
there are now many large manufacturers
who make a specially of supplying news
papers. One arm writes that they sell as
high as $4,000 worth OF premiums to one
newspaper in one month.
1t is customary with newspapers in fur
nishing premiums to subscribers to add
the bare cost of the premium to the price
of the paper. That is precisely what THE
LEADER is doing. Sometimes, however,
we are enabled to furnish our subscribers
with books at less than the publishers
price to dealers, and that is what we are
doing Low. and we are not losing any
money by it. There is a difference be-
tween u way and the way of most papers
in offering premiums, as well as a differ
ence IN the goods. Nearly all papers
offer premiums to weekly subscribers only.
Inferior and cheap goods are extensively
advertised and palmed off on the public.
But as the money is paid in advance the
newspaper loses nothing except the good
will of its subscribers, which is inst what
we cannot afford to lose.
Competition between newspapers and
manufacturers of premium goods is the
cause of worthless premiums being Of
tered. We have no competition and we
shall not buy any large lots Of goods with
out first seeing a sample, therefore our
subscribers may depend on it that we
offer nothing but first-class goods as pre-
miums. Our premiums are offered to
both daily and weekly subscribers and no
one asked to pay before seeing goods, ex-
cept those living at a distance, ano they,
if dissatisfied. may return goods and their
money will be refunded. Or, If pre-
ferred, any of our premiums will be sent
by express G. o. d. to be examined by
purchaser. 1t a few days we will publish
a list OF premiums with terms.
, 1890-10-03
FRIDAY. OCT. 3. 1890.
TOWN TALK.
Cosby Little Paragraphs Picked Vi
Throughout the City.

DR.. R. B. Grimes office is oyer CheY-
eune National bank.
The Overland club fall racing meet be-
rims at Denver tomorrow.
Alamo, the new town on the Big Horn.
is to have a paper, the Argus.
Joe De Barthe will soon begin the pub
lcation of the Bulletin at Buffalo.
Good rock is being brought in daily
from the silver district west of Buffalo.
Tar soap Sc, %overalls SOC, square dinner
bucket 45c. wood pail 25c. Black Flag.
Arthur S~parhawk, sheriff of Fremont
county, offers for sale bloodhound pups.
A. G. McGregor will baye a car load of
apples on Saturday. Send in your orders
early.
Joe Rankin has received the keys of the
United States peuitentiary at Laramie
from T. JEFF Carr.
Sub Editor Atkinson is here preparing
80 article on the Cheyenne shops for the
Mgter Mechanic. of Chicago.
Smedley, alias Thompson, the Texas
horse thief lately arrested at M%erino, was
at the time city marshal OF the new town.
The current issue OF the Chicago Horse
man, the monarch of oil turf journals,
has a detailed account of Che Cheyenne
races.
, 1890-10-03

keenan, & Sons last cattle report says:
The receipts of western range cattle at
Chicago have been smaller and the market
advanced 25 to so cents per cwt. Pros
poets are that we will have larger receipts
of westerns mex week, but indications are
that receipts of native cattle will be small
er, and il 50 the market for western range
cattle will be no lower.
Regarding sheep they say: The com.
mon to medium grades were hard to sell
at a decline of is cents per cwt. on both
sheep and lambs, the prime heavy ones
bringing IRON IS. 80 to s6.l5. while the
tAir to good, weighing from sixty tc
seventy pounds, sell from s4.75 to IS. Is,
and the commoner grades. for feeding
purposes, 50 so to s4.25. The prospect,
look favorable.
, 1890-10-03

Under date of Omaha, Oct. l, Gen.
Brooke, commander of the Platte depart
ment, issues the following order:
I'm accordance with paragraph %,
SPECIAL or ers No. oil, headquarters O.
the army, Major Peter D. Vroom, lnspec.
tor general, is relieved from duty in thi.
department.
Major John NJ. Bacon, Seventh cav,
airy, having reported at these h~eadquar.
ters, in compliance with paragraph 25,
special orders No. 2ll, headquarters Of
the army, is announced as acting ipspec,
tor general of this department, with sta
ton in this city,"
, 1890-10-03

The settlement Of the differences arts.
ing out of the creation ofWeston county
from Crook county was made on the basis
of a taxable valuation of 500. 900 last
year in that portion of Crook county now
forming Weston. The court house at
Sundance vas appraised at $29, 900.
Weston county's proportion Of the debt
above the assets was found to be Sl4, 500,
which amount goes to Crook county.
, 1890-10-03

W. b. Leech, who was head brakeman
OF the train IN which F%ishbrough and
Emmerson met death last Saturday, testi-
ned before the coroner's jury yesterday.
de viewed the dead aud dying man with
the rest of the crew. At Pine Bluffs Leech
nred' two tramps from the train and
u,d not know that there were others
aboard. He was on top Of the cars most
Of Friday night and heard no shooting.
Saturday he was at the head end.
, 1890-10-03
BALD mountain cold pi,tric,.

The Bald mountain gold fields, in west
ern Sheridan county, continue to be a sub
iect Of animated discussion by Buffalo
people, says the Echo. Returning from
the camp on Wednesday, Ed. B. Chap
line, who spent years in the mining and
prospecting business in Colorado, exhibit
ed a vial containing gold and black sand
which had been banned out on the Claim
he took up. He states that some of the
dirt yielded as high as so conts to the
pan, but the average is less. There is
enough Of pay dirt in sight, Mr.. Chapline
says, to support a camp of three to five
hundred men, aud if developments result
as favorably as prospects promise, he pre-
diets that in less than two years a mining
town of 5000 inhabitants will spring into
existence at that point. There is no Ger
tainty, of course, as to what the digging.
will amount to. but Mr.. G. satisfied him.
self that there is now lots Of gold there,
and chances favor a big find.
, 1890-10-03
WEATHER WISE.
The Bureaus Record for septembe
and Greeley's Proverbs.


Observer Burns, OF the signal station
here, handed THE LEADER last evening a
meteorological summary for September.
There wasn't enough moisture to record.
On four days the observer noted a trace
of precipitation and the arithmetic of the
service makes four 7 equal Il. 1t is a
strange coincidence hat the record for
September. 1889 Is the same. In the
corresponding month Of 1888, precipita-
ton was LEG inches.
The mean temperature was $685.;
highest, s4' on the 10th aud lowest 2so
On the 18th inst. This mean is about
the September average.
Wind blew to the northwest most
Of the month The total movement was
1896 miles and the extreme velocity forty
miles an hour.
Nine cloudless. fifteen partly cloudy
and six cloudy days is the showing for
actual weather made by the month.
Frost was noted three times, on the It'll,
sth and 18th.
Here are October weather proverbs,
published in book form by Gen. Greeley:
Much rain in October, much wind in
December. If October brings heavy
frosts and winds then will January and
February be mild. When it freezes and
SHOWS in October, January will bring mild
weather, but if it is laundering and heat
- II L
hshtning, the winter will resemble April
in temper. Warm October, cold Febru-
airy, As the weather in October, so it
will be in the next March. # the first
nov falls on moist, soft earth, it indi-
Gates a small harvest; but if upon hard,
frozen soil, a good harvest.
, 1890-10-03

Ed Schuneman has on the way from
Toledo a young hunting dog that will set
the sports wild. The animal will be Sec
ond to zone in the state in point of breed
ing and will doubtless prove a fine worker.
1t is a Llewellin setter, a daughter Of none
other than the famous ~Cincinnatus, dam,
Cornelia, she by Champion Gladstone,
the world beater, and Dido II the noted
field winner.
, 1890-10-03

The Lander mill is now using for fuel
the natural oil from the Murphy wells.
The oil is stored in barrels and conducted
by a pipe into the fire box. The stream
of oil is little larger than a lead pencil and
upon falling from the pipe is struck by a
jet of sleam and scattered all about the
fire box in the form of a spray, which.
burning, makes the hottest kind of a
fire.
, 1890-10-03

To the purchasing public of Cheyenne:
Walkers, dry goods, have introduced
and will MAINTAIN eastern prices. Com
petitors will for a while endeavor to meet
ourlow figures, and tbIs'morning we'g1ve
notice that we.will meet any pricesIgiven
out to the public aud in addition give 10
per cent discount on youf purchases.
Walkers, dry goods. millinery and
closks, 302 west Seventeenth street. and
l7O6 Ferguson street, Carey block.
, 1890-10-03
Charge as Little Profit as
we Cam Stand.

And we are not in business for
our health, either. We like to
make money, but we are con-
vinced it cannot be done by plum
dering the public. "a close price
makes a sale and a friend"
Our goods shall be yours on the
most favorable terms known to
honest trade. Note the prices.
, 1890-10-03
More water.

Much more rain fell Tuesday on the
foothills west of the city than in Chey-
enne. Ranchman VIM. Terrell said yes
terday that most of the water holes about
Colorado junction and on the Silver
Crown road were full. the first time in
months.
Engineer Bond says that thanks to the
rain the city is now receiving daily 200,-
600 gallons more of water than last week.