davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-03-06
ALLIES OF TEMPERANCE,

The Reform Work Accomplished by the
Forces Of Steam and Electricity.
In an article in the Statesman on
Forces Which Make for Temperance, u
Stoughton Cooley emphasizes the point
that the complexity of modern life,
rendering the members of soci ety 50 de-
pendent on one another, is itself insur.
ing the prevalence of habits of Temper.
ance. He instances the obligation upon
railroad men to let liquor alone, and
then goes on to say:
''The same law which bears upon the
train men is rapidly being brought tc
bear upon all men throughout society.
In primitive state, where each family
is practically independent of the others,
the conduct of the individual is not a
matter of communal concern. He NAV
spend as much of his life in a besotted
state as he likes, if he does not inter.
fere with his neighbors. But it nat.
urally follows that when society has
reached such complex state as ours
there are very few opportunities for
drunkenness when the rights of others
are not abridged. eIn the ''good old
days" mechanic might attempt to la,
Dor when under the influence of alcohol
without serious consequences, but such a
man in modern machine shop or fac
tory would very soon make trouble for
himself or somebody else. Steam and
electricity are most faithful servan Is
when under intelligent direction; but
no horse is more ready to take advantage
OF an ignorant driver, no slave quicker
ocheat q careless master, than these to
bring confusion upon incompetent d.
rectors. There is horsepower and slave
power which will not take advantage
Of Its opportunities, but it is never so OF
steam and electricity. We are as a
magician who has called from the
neither world spirits to do his bidding,
which are faithful only 50 long as his
watchful eye is upon them. The forces
which have in the past century been
called into being by mans genius will
not obey children nor fools, nor men
rendered worse than fools by the use Of
alcohol; they bow only to the clear
brain and the cunning hand.
1T is steam and electricity by means
Of the complex state of society which
they make possible and the intelli-
gence they demand that are doing the
real Temperance work Of this age. They
have taken from US our primitive indie
pendence, and made US dependent upon
all men and all men dependent upon
us. Individual responsibility will
sweep incompetence out of existence,
but we must help it instead of retarding
it's
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-03-06
wAshlkoTolt.s "lT.


~ peEleaoo IN Mrs. Loeaa's Hespatahlo
Calunet Place.
s Topeka newspaper contributes the
latest and freshest acquisition to the
corps OF Washington correspondents.
he e = youthful blonde, with blunted.
aquiline proboscis. "A pair Of eilt eve
glasses lends ornamentation to his
oleaohed physiognomy. A dude suit OF
Slo plaid, fragrant with benzine, stick
ana Z derby comprised his toilet. He IL
known on the row as ssIt.''
Ihe pomposity Of his manner and evi.
osnt sense OF self-importance affords .
passing diversion for lounging members
in the Hall Of Representatives, whom
no approaches with the stereotype form:
am Mr.. --- Of the Topeka
2 controlling journalistic influence IN
me great and growing State Of Kansas.
advise me for the benefit
" tne paper Of the condition of
auairs political, statistical, economic,
% ' otherwise in your interesting constit-
q story is told OF a recent stroke of
.''ll effort on the part of this en-
Dryotto journalist which capped tho
cnmax. 1T" appeared at the portals of
= place, and having been curious
y scanned by the servant with what
as-lt" expression of surprise, was usher
60 into the reception-room of the man
sion.
IN few moments the queenly lady Of
the house appeared.
Jumping to his feet and sucking tho
nead OF his cane, simultaneously inclin.
Ing bis head with = patronizing air, 'sIt~
r quoted, as having CIRCULATED. with
impressiveness: s.Ah, nv
sdear Mrs Logan, It delights me to see
you I always enjoy conversing with
old ladies. coincidently acquire 80
much valuable knowledge from her.
The stately matron Of Calumet place,
Is young and beautiful in appearance
and spirits as lady of twenty-five, cast
whitening glance at 1T" ''coincident-
ly"observing: II shall endeavor to make
my conversation as interesting as is con.
sistent with the infirmities of old age,
and shall hope to make no lapses Of
grammar
The verdant youth, swelled with ego
tfsm, received the repartee with tho
head OF his cane in his mouth and pro-
fusion of bo%s in difference to what he
accepted as complimentary term to his
we'll nodded salutatory observation.
1T" unconsciously was soon frozen out,
despite repeated efforts to further en-
thuse. "-Washington Cor. PHILADELPHIA
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-03-06

yet within Avs weeks from the day ho
xas shot he reported for duty. .
!,'bdr. Lewis, like many others Of tho
twenty-five thousand wounded in that
awful battle. lay eight days without
any thing but water which wounded
companion brought in his canteen. Yet
no one seeing Mr.. Lewis to-day would
think that he was In delicate health.
There was another fellow in our reg.
iment by the name Of Waite. !" said Mr..
Lewis. He got the end Of his little
finger shot Of and Il caused his death.
He was beer drinker, and 1t was the
state Of his system caused by the beer
that carried him oh."-Northwest
. Noi1 +.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-03-06
HOW BEER AFFECTS THE BODY

Testimony as to tho Relative Resisting
Powers OF Beer Drlnkors and Temper
ance Men. e.:
About two years ago the Mail gath
cred the opinions of the medical fra
ternity of Madison on the effects of beer
on the human body. With one excep-
ton they gave straightforward replies,
the majority being quite adverse to the
use of the beverage. That exception was
q youthful physician who had not been
in business long enough to learn how
to act when interviewed. He thought
the question ''impertinent."
Not long ago this physician had seri-
Gus wounded limb to dress. The wound
ed man was healthy and temperate, and
contrary to expectation the limb grew
better with good treatment. If you
had been even moderate beer drinker,"
said the physician to the patient I'VE
wonld have had to amputate it." This
adds another to the long list of medical
testimony against the use Of beer.
william E. Lewis, Wisconsin State
secretary OF the Young Mems Christian
Association, gave US some testimony ON
the relative resisting powers of beer
drinker and = Temperance man. He
belonged to Company F, of tho Thirty
Seventh Massachusetts, Volunteers in
the civil war: He belonged to squad
OF four called the model squad be-
cause they did not use liquor. tobacco
or profanity. In the battle of the
Wilderness the 'Thirty-Seventh was
ordered to charge the advancing line of
the enemy. In the charge three of their
squad were struck-one, John Dunbar,
was fatally wounded; another, Joe
Foster. got q bullet through his arm
above the elbow that shattered the
bone. passed through and tore open his
side, exposing his vitals and carrying
away part of two ribs. Mr.. Lewis
had bullet through the knee. Foster
lay for five days without care, and
when found at last cupful Of maggots
was taken from the wound in his side.
The bone had to be removed from his
arm for few inches above the elbow;
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-03-06
HOw'0 ThtSI

We offer One Hundred Dollars Reward for
any case Of Catarrh that can not be cured
by taking Halls Catarrh Cure.
F. ]. CHENEY Il Co, Props, Toledo, O.
We, the undersigned, have known F. J..
Cheney for the last fifteen years, and believe
him perfectly honorable in all business
transactions, and financially able to carry
out any obligations made by their firm.
West q Truax, w holesale Druggists, Toledo.
Walding, Kinnan Il Marvin, Wholesale
Druggists, Toledo, Ohio.
Halls Catarrh Cure is taken internally,
acting directly on the blood and mucous sur
faces of the system. Testimonials free
Price, 75c. per bottle. Sold by all Druggists
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-03-06
MISERABLE HOMES.

The Liquor Tramc aud Poverty Every
Dollar spent In the saloon . How AT
the Family. a
An old citizen of Madison in our Office
recently said: '.Youd be surprised to
see how some of my neighbors live. You
wouldn't think that any one in Madison
lived on such starvation food as some Of
them eat. There was little boy came
to take supper with my little boy tho
other evening. We had warm cakes with
butter on. The little fellow enjoyed
them greatly, and said to my boy:
1--WE don't have no butter to our
house,"
''Ho, what dye eat on yer bread"
said my boy. ..s
''Oh, we didn't have nuthin'; but
when we killed the pig, then we eat
lard on our bread" ..-.-.,
''I'veb been In the homes of some of the
poorer people about there" continued
the gentleman, land I've seen the fam.
lilies sit down to the table with nothing
on the cover but dish of potatoes with
skim milk poured over them. / don't
know Of one of those families where the
man of the house does not patronize the
saloon. Tho father: of that little boy
who eats lard on his bread has all tho
beer and tobacco he wants every day.:
A prominent railroad man of the city
tells US that near his depot lives little
boy whose father is full of liquor as
as often as he can fill up. The little lad
had such an uncomfortable home and
his father so often fogs him that he
spends q large part of his time in the
depot. This winter the boy quit coming
to the depot. Upon inquiry the gentle
man found that the lad had to stay in
the house because he had no shoes
In the city of Madison there are
doubtless several thousand people who
suffer to q greater or less degree for the
actual necessities of life. Perhaps one
third of the population do without the
common comforts because of drink.
There are seventy-two saloons in the
city that are gathering in the money
that should be spent for these things.
They swallow each year over $3.50, 600
worth of home comforts. The saloon
keepers and the brewers can dine every
day on turkey and cranberry sauce, but
the little children of their patrons must
eat lard on their bread or starve.
/: On : recent Saturday twenty-eight
farm teams were counted about one
farmers saloon in Madison. 1t is safe
enough to reckon that twenty-eight
farmers spent money for liquor thatday
and went home with foul-smelling
breaths and minus little money. Prob
ably some went home ugly or stupidity
drunk. Suppose the money that went
for that beer had been spent for oranges,
candy and nuts for the wife and children
at home, the fathers return would be
hailed with delight and the home bond
be strengthened. Every dollar spent in
the saloon is a blow at the family, and
the family is the defense of our Nation.
Northwestern Mail.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-03-06

imparts vigor and strength to the whole syp-
nausea, indigestion, bloatipg, weak back.
nervous Prostration, debility and sleepleas-
ness. In either sex. 1t is carefully COM
pounded by an experienced physician and
adapted to woman's delicate organization.
Purely vegetable and perfectly harmless in
any condition of the system. 1t is the only
under a positive guarantee of satisfac.
ton in every case. or price (S1OO) refunded.
This guarantee has been printed on tho
for many years. WORLDS DIsPENsxHY
MEDICAL ASSOCIATION, Proprietors, No. 063
Main Street. Buffalo NJ Y
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-03-06

The East Tennessee, Virginia + Georgia
Railway System.
The short line to Florida. Through Pull
man or Mann Sleepers between Cincinnati
and Jacksonville, leaving Cincinnati daily
and baggage cars and sleepers through with
out change Misconnections impossible.
For rates, time cards, etc., P. s. Gilmore, G.
n: p. A., 1893 Clark St., Chicago, Ills. B. W.
Wrenn, G.. P. & r. A., Knoxville, Tenn.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-03-06

For Coughs and throat troubles use
BROWNS BRONCHIAL TROCHEs ssThev
stop an attack of my asthma cough very
Falch, MEANWHILE, Ohio.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-03-06

The dividing line between wisdom
and folly is so extremely fine, that a
prudent man will be very careful how
he accuses any one but himself of being
4 fOOl-Rothe
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-03-06

ToTHE EDITOR: inform your read
ers that have positive remedy for the
above named disease. BY its timely use
thousands of hopeless cases have been per-
manently cured. Ishall be glad to send two
bottles Of my remedy FREE to any of your
readers who have consumption if they will
send me their express and post-office ad-
dress. Respectfully, T. A. SLoCUM, NJ c.,
80 1871 Pearl street, New York.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-03-06

ALL cases Of weak or lame back, backache.
rheumatism, will find relief by wearing one
Of Carter's Smart Weed and Belladonna
Backache Plasters. Price Is centa Try Them
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-03-06

A SOAP that is soft is full of .patcr. half
PROBABLY, thus you pay seven or eight cents
per pound for water. Dobbins' Electric
soap IS az soap and no adulteration, there
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-03-06

The convicted criminal is never allowed
to hurry himself. He must take his time.
-Binghamton Leader.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-03-06

Do not purge nor weaken the bowels, but
act specially on the liver and bile. A perfect
liver corrector. Carter's Little Liver Pills.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-03-06

1T is said that q man from the Pine Tree
State can be told by the pitch Of his voioo
-BinRhamton Republican.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-03-06
,|9{S|&(0Ineq6]|

For rundown" debilitated and overworked
women, Or. Piercc's Favorite Prescription is
the best of all restorative tonics. It'll a potent
Specific for all those Chronic Weaknesses and
Diseases peculiar to Women; a powerful, gen.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-03-06

The goat seems to have achieved the dis
JUNCTION OF being the head worker OF the
animal kingdom. -Binghamton Leader:
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-03-06

A NAN can hardly be expected to foota
blu without 3 little kicking about it-Bal
6more American
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-03-06
That
Tired Feeling

Has never been moro prevalent or more PROSTATE
Ing than now. The winter has been mild and an.
healthful. tn6uenza epidemic and fevers have
visited nearly all our homes, leaving about every
body In . weak. tired'out. lsngutd condition. The
usefulness Of Hoods Sarsaparilla is thus made
1reater than for It is absolutely unequalled -
Abuilding.up. STRENGTHENING medicine.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-03-06

Commend to public approval the California
liquid fruit remedy Syrup Of Figs, It is
pleasing to the eye, and to the taste and by
gently acting on the kidneys, liver and bow.
els, II cleanses the system ehectually, there
Dy promoting the health and comfort Of iii
who use it -
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-03-06

I'M grounding ana the spring poet both
game out OF their winter quarters simul-
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-03-06

II you want to be cured of cough use
aale's Honey of Horehoupda and Tar.
Pixies Toothache Drops Cure in one minute
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-03-06
Its Excellent Ou.l,t,..

a DOCTOR practices on his own patients,
but musician practices on the patienco
Of otherk-Yonkers Statesman.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-03-06
Consumption Surely Cured.

WREN q mans wife begins to compare
him with other men no will do well to STAY
ethome niRhts-N. Y, World.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-03-06

WHEN composer undertakes to score an
opera he finds harmony necessary. But the
critics dOn't-Baltimore American.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-03-06

The characteristics of the face are dealt
with by Phlz-iognomy. Merchant Trav-
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-03-06

PURCHASE or loan on Endowment Policies
81. A. TYLER, Hartford, Ct. P. O. Box 994
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-03-06

BRONCHITIS is cured by frequent small
doses of Piso's Cure for CONSUMPTION.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-03-06

TWO OF q kind that never make 4 pair
The ideal vile and the ideal husband
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-03-06

The great art catalogue of the Bryant &
Stratt0n Chicago Business College, which
contains liz large pages and which is every
where creating so much interest, will be
mailed to any address upon receiptof stamps
to pay postage, 1Oc. Address II. B. BRYANT
Il Son, Is Washington Street, Chicago, III.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-03-06

IF love is blind there is no usS wasting
gas on it.-Rome Sentinel.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-03-06

A BOX safety matches free to smokers of
"Tansills Punch SC. Cigar"
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-03-06
HaGni6cont Catalogue.

The world seldom looks to see the kind of
tracks you left behind, provided you only
get there.-Milwaukoe journal
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-03-06

WILL skeleton key open deadlock
kearney Enterprise
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-03-06
"a, 500 Reward for n Lost Cat.

The equivalent in English money Of s., 500
for the return of q favorite cat which had
strayed or been stolen. People called her q
scrank," and perhaps she was. 1t is I'M
fortunate that one of the gentler sex should
ever gain this title, yet many do. 1t is,
functional arrangements will apparently
change q woman's entire nature. Don't
blame such sufferers If they are ''cranky,"
but tell them to use DR.. Pierce's Favorite
Prescription, which is an infallible remedy
Tor "female weaknesses" It will soon re-
store them to their normal condition. It is
warranted to give satisfaction in every case,
or money paid for it will be returned.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-03-06

Maternal Parent (solicitously)-Willie,
you'd better wear your overcoat to school
this morning. .~-.... .-
Willie-I don't need it, mamma. It
isn't cold enough. e.. s...s. -.
Changing her tactios)-All right. You
may leave it at home. I want to clean
out the pockets anyhow. ~e ~
Grabbing It'll think I'll wear it,
mamma. might take cold.-Chicago
Tribune. - I'D III
Livermore, in one Of her leo
lures, ridicules the present style Of
female fashions. Her remarks might be
called woman's satire on woman's at
disadvantages Free Press.
The man who turns over new leaf
too oftan will a,o1, lasA hia loIdeen,
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-03-06

The man who turns over \ new leaf
too often will soon use up his ledger.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-03-06

TIE peal Of the banana has q falling In.
ACKNOWLEDGMENT Gazette
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-03-06
That
Tired Feeling

II was very much run down In health, had no
st .enRth and no inclination to do anything. have
been taking Hoods sarsaparla and that tired feel.
ing has left me, my appetite has returned, am like
. new man." CHAUNCEY LATHAM. North Colum-
bus, Ohio.
II have for . long time been using Hoods sarsa-
parilla, and believe me, would not be without 1t.
A spring medicine it is invaluable" b. A.
RHODES, l0 Ontario Street, Chicago, III.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-03-06

DIR. P1ERcE's Pellets, the original and only
genuine Little Liver Pills; Is cents vial;
one dose.
The Sunday morning news. [volume] (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1886-1891, 1890-04-06
CHINESE MINOR.
Funny stories and Jests from the sBooIz
of Laughter.

Funny Stories and Jests from the book
of Laughter.
The Chinese have a large volume called
the Book of Laughter which contains
full collection OF anecdotes and jests
current in the middle kingdom. General
Cheng- Ki-Tong, Charge d'Affaires of
China at Paris, has recently published
translation of some of these Chinese
tests. Many of them are very comical.
possessing even in translation peculiarly
dry humor, aud some of them prove that
jokes and anecdotes we'll known IN the
West are also classic in China.
There is, for instance, the very familiar
story of the nervous man who lived be-
tween the two blacksmiths-only in this
Chinese version one of them is a copper
smith The nervous man tries to induce
the two noisy artisans TO move, and one
day they announce that they have made
arrangements to do SO. Overjoyed, the
man treats them to magnificent dinner,
and after they have partaken Of it the
blacksmith informs him that he is going
to move into the coppersmith's shop and
the cOppersmith into his.
Less familiar is the story of a worthy
old man who was numerically beaten at
regular intervals by an undutiful son.
This cruel treatment did hot prevent the
old man from lavishing caresses on his
little grandson, bringing him many pres
ents and indulging all his caprices.
One day the Old man was asked why he
was so very good to the child Of the undu-
tiful son who beat him so cruelty.
sShn' said the old man. Pm spelling
him so thatihe'H beat his father when he
grows upp
According to another story miser had
three sons-in-law; one was q tailor an
other a jeweller and the third spend
thrift, who did nothing at all. One day
the miser called the third son-in-law and
said to him.
"See herel Your two brothers-in-law
are thrifty men, and are gradual adding
TO the family fortune; the tailor by cab
baging little of his customers cloth
now and then, you know-bless you, they
don't know it!-and the jeweller by--well,
by debasing the jewelry just a little don't
you see But your exclaimed the miser,
what do you do?'
"Father-in-law,' said the ne'er-do-well,
you say we'll Give me a crowbar; will
go out, and, watching my chance, l win
break in merchants doors, open their tills
and bring you back thousands of pieces
of silver, where my brothers-in-law bring
you only paltry gainsn
WHAT Howl" exclaimed the miser
terrible anger; "can it be possible that
you would actually be a theft"
The Sunday morning news. [volume] (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1886-1891, 1890-04-06

on the staff of General r. A. Alger, the
National Commander in Chief of the
G. A. r.
Ever Faithful Council, American Lee
gion of Honor, has 265 members. The.
Council reduced its initiation fee one-haI
at its meeting last Tuesday. The Coun-
Gil meets at Roche's Hall.
Grand Chief Ranger O'Melia is an en-
thusiastic baseball crank.
Hoboken Lodge of Elks is not restrain
ed by the expense in making arrange
ments for the ladies' social session.
Court Ashley lost a member on Wednes-
day. The deceased was Bro. George Dali
ton. The Court will attend the funeral
this afternoon.
Bayonne Council No. 695, Royal Ar
canum, of Bayonne, will hold q regular
meeting tomorrow evening There are
twelve applications for membership in
transit, and several of the noyitiates will
undoubtedly be present to have the mys-
teries of the royal secret explained to
them. After the regular duties COLA
ton will be served by Orator Joseph H.
Wright.