The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-06-19
BRIGHT BITS,

BY AN EX-VALEDICToRIAN-
First tried Blackstone's lore. and that of Coke,
And found, alas, no shekels could l make
Then as a reverend divine spoke,
And there failed likewise to win nv cake
The stage paced, but not copper cent
Would that profession to my genius yield.
To-day earn three thousand and my rent
By playing ball far ont In center field.
-Ne1o York Herald.
If 'hdes are as much entitled to protection
as f1eeces" why shouldn't everybody be
skinned?-Courter'J journal.
WHEN malaria is in the air it is easy to catch
it. The same can hardly be said of the mos
quito onkerSs Statesman.
THE LAPLANDER's dress is the finest furs
This is what is meant. doubtless, by the lap of
luxury.-Netc York Commercial.
Down with every man who has experience"
and knows how to be snaked along by the
caucus lariat-St. Paul (Mtrtn.) Great West.
HAPPINESS never comes when it is sought
1t simply loafs lazily in the shade, and let's
people tire themselves out hunting for it,
SonlerCiue Journal.
1T WAS FAsT.-Indignant Shopper thought
you warranted this black to be fast color
Salesman (nonchalantly)-Yes; don't it run
all right?-YenOlCines NelCS.
FALSE observation-disclosures Confound it,
aren't you cutting my hair too short?
Washington Jones continuing to cut)-That's
all right, boss. You can't save muffin. Tween
ty-ti cents, long er sho't.-Dry Goods Chronicle.
Cor TO BE MoNoroNous-'T wonder why
Fogg and Giles don't speak now? They used
to be great friends
1.-The reason is because Fogg persisted in tell
ing Giles how TO lay out his flower garden. -
Boston Herald.
NEED OF SysTEM-W ashervoman-Please
mum, I've brought your wash
Patron-Wel, take it to some one else and
leave me some one else's wash l think if you
will manage that way I'll get more of my
thingS.-NeU York WeekIu.
CHICAGO HOTEL RATEs-Drummer-Se here.
had room way up on the top floor and you
charged me more than your rates for down
stairs rooms.
Chicago tel-keeper-Certainly The top
floor rooms are above the smoke and the extra
charge is for sunshine.-Ne1O York Weekly.
Observation-Disclosures Postmaster (yyho
is assisted in his duties by his young bride)-
Why, Mary what are all these postal cards
doing here? They should have gone in the last
mail.
Young Bride (who was Massachusetts, school
mistress)-O, have just put them aside until
should have time to correct the spelling.-New
York Herald.
LOVERS LoGIc.-Romeo Jimson-I fear me l
must leave thee, beloved. 1t must be late very
late. hear the newsboys calling out the morn
ing papers.
Juliet whimson-stay. It's not Che morn.
It's yesterdays papers they SELL
Romeo-Nay. tbs to-days."
Juliet-Delay vet little while. 'Tis yester-
days news anyhow.--NeIU York WeekIN
A TRUE STORY TOLD BY A SAVANNAH MAN-An
old man and his son were travelling to Australia
on sailing vessel. The son fell overheard
and the old man, in his excitement, threw a
grndstone over, thinking it was a life pre-
server. Seeing both disappear, he leaped over
board also to save his son, and also disap-
peared. Three days later on tremendous
shark was caught, and what was the crews
surprise, on opening the monster to find the
old man turning the grindstone and his son
sharpening his penknife to cut their way out!