davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1890-01-08
She Doesn't Earn IL.

Dear mel" said old Mrs. Jimsonweed,
as she laid down the paper, here's a
piece that says Queen Victoria gets 81
$50, 900 n year for being Queen. Well,
she don't arm it, now, she jist don't! |
don't keer how we'll she puts in her time;
don't keer how airly she gifts up OF a
mornin', nor how late she sets mp nights
darnin' and mendin'; don't keer how much
dish washin' she does, nor how much
butter she churns, nor how much soap
she biles, nor how many geese she raises
feathers from, nor how many calves she
brings up by hand. nor how free of moths
an bed-bugs she keeps old Windsor Cas-
tie. I'd like the chance to be Queen, an
dc it all for half the mcnev. Even then
1 wouldn't arm no $4,000, 600, an she
don't either-no, she don't. "-Drake's
MaQazine.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1890-01-08

Another Christmas and New Years An
nual, by "A Man." OF the Rock Island
Route, Now Ready for Distribution.
The Boys ami Girls OF America and
adults as we'll who have read the instruct
i've pages OF -Watt-Stephen" 1850. VOL
tagal" 1856. Petroleum" u6S7). Coal and
Coke usSs). and Iron aud Steel Qs50 1.
will be pleased 10 know that the latest and
brightest OF the famous Rock ISLAND So
ries. Sunshine and Moonlkght" uS0U. now
confidently awaits that chorus OF approval
which welcomed each OF Its predecessors.
"A Man" invites the attention OF his in
quisitive boy and girl visitors this year 10
wonders In the heavens above revealed by
the telescope. He tells them all about the
sun. moon. planets. satellites. fixed stars.
comets. and their movements. and explains
the laws by which they are governed. The
achievements OF science I'm the field OF as
Economical research are presented in LAM
guage so clear as 10 be easily understood
by all readers. The book fascinates, while
IL elevates and improves.
Sunshine and oonlight" comprises liz
pages, profusely illustrated with choice en-
Cravings Its covers are ornamented with
appropriate designs. beautifully printed In
colors. Practically. IL is Christmas gift to
the patrons and friends of the Rock ISLAND
ROUTE. aud will be sent postpaid to any
part OF the world las also previous issues
II desired) az the nominal p ice OF ten 1U
cents per copy. Write your address plain
ly. and inclose ten Q0) cents. in stamps or
coin, TO JNo. SEBASTIAN. q. Il. a. p. A.,
Chicago.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1890-01-08
Salvation Army Wit.

The fair vendors of the War CRY in
Bombay can be cuttingly sarcastic when
they like. At the Apollo Bunder recently
one OF them persuaded two representa-
tives of the'genus masher to PURCHASE a
copy of the publication, and was about
to go on her way again. when one of her
patrons remarked:
Now you'll give us your blessing, won't
your"
Equal to the occasion, the lady re-
piled:
May the Lord make your hearts as
soft as your heads, gentlemen. - Bonn
bay Homeudrd Mail.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1890-01-08

a sharper Who Could Put water Into .
Filled Bottle.


Sauntering up to the counter at one OF
the.booths at tue recent State fair, q dis
tinguished- looking stranger began toy
ing with q common black bottle. you
wouldn't believe / could put more water
In this bottle than any other man on the
grounds, would your" he asked, care
lessly.
A handful of rustics. gathered in front
of the place, gazed at the stranger in
credulously. Il wouldn't, that's fact, "
one.of them remarked, knowingly.
And yet. resumed the stranger, II am
ready to bet $40 that can do it.
Upon hearing this statement your uncle
edged cautiously away, while the know
ing fellow stepped briskly TO the front.
"You say you'll bet $40 on it," he re-
marked, in voice trembling with excite
ment.
That's what said.
Let me see that bottle" demanded The
seeker after knowledge.
The bottle was passed among the
crowd and, after due examination, was
pronounced worthy of confidence. After
some discussion of ways and means in
terested parties formed a syndicate with
a capital of 50, which sum was instantly
covered by the stranger. An individual,
presumably interested, was chosen TO
hold the stakes, and the kl owing chap
was appointed to fill the bottle. Having
turned in water till the vessel was running
over, he remarked with grin:
There, guess, she's about as full as
she can hold. If you can crowd any more
water into her, mister, go ahead.
Without saying n word, the business
like stranger proceeded to cork the bottle
tightly: then he turned it upside down,
and In the large hollow which is found
at the bottom of most bottles he poured
two or three gills Of water. I'll trouble
you TO hand over that money, he said TO
the stakeholder when he had done the
trick.
Then arose chorus of complaints.
-'Twasn't fairl" The water amt in the
bottle!" The hull thing is swindle!"
vociferated the duped rustics. Mean
while the stranger coolly pocketed the
stakes, babe the dissatisfied yokels good
day" and in another moment was far
from the madding crowd. "-Lewiston
(Me.) Journal
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1890-01-08

AT Atlanta. Tuesday, two well-dressed
men stopped on the conner of Broad and
Marietta streets and began pointing up
ward. one of them ottNn pointing to "a
telephone wire with his cane, as II trying
30 make his companion see something he
was looking at. The other shaded hi (.
eyes with his hands, but shook his head,
" which the first man mentioned caught
him by the arm aud led hiGn backward a
few steps. They kept up their antics
un.il big crswd collected. Finale.
when asked they said: We were just
experimenting TO see how msoy gaping
idiots we could collect in ten minutes"
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1890-01-08
AccoRpING to Dr. S. S. Kilrinete,

ACCORDING TO DIR. S. S. KilFingtoa,
the Mississippi River received during the
past year 1873, 67j tons of garba1e and of
fall. los, $50 tons of night-soil. and 3, 76j
dead animals. from only eight cities; the
Ohio. 46 700 tons Of garbage. II, l57 tons
of night-soil, and 8, 100 dead animals,
from five cities; and the Missouri, 36, 600
tons of garbage, y, 400 tons of night
soil, and 81 600 dead animals, from four
cities. DR.. Kilvingon urges the erema-
ton OF most of the refuse, and % out Of
25 health officials consulted by him ia
voped the plan.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1890-01-08

A REMARKABLE poised rock. famous
throughout South America as the NOV
ing stone, may be ssen on Tanda Noun
tain. in Buenos Ayres. 1t is "a feet high,
80 feet long. and Is feet wide. containing
over five thousand cubic feet and weigh
ing twenty-five tons. 1t is irregularly
conical in shape, and pssts upon 3 con-
ical support with bearing surface come
ten inches IN diameter. The power Of a
single man is sufficient TO oscillate the
enormous mass. which, Indeed, is often
swayed BY the wind.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1890-01-08

FoRT WAYNE. Ind. August %. 1880.
Rheumatic Syrup Co.. Jackson. Mich:
GENTLEMEN: Having suffered severely
for some time with rheumatism. so that
was unable 10 work. Messrs. Drcier Bro.
recommended Hibbard's Rheumatic Syrup.
After taking one bottle was entirely cured.
/ have recommended your remedies FIRE.
quently TO my flientis with like results.
l.. G. ZoLLINGER.
ysk your druggist for IL.
We have personal knowledge that the
above statement Is correct
DREIER a. BRO. Druggists.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1890-01-08

standard remedy for the peculiar ills incident to that critical
period girls life when she just her "eens
found DR. Perc Favore Prescription Young ladies' boarding
schools have their pupils home rocheed asses like
the three beautiful madens illustration when they have
resorted the of Favoe Prescription for building and
regulating the of those delicate pale cky girls just
preaching puberty who need supporting and quiet
strengthening alcohol injurious
Whether boarding schools homes guaranteed
all those delicate weaknesses incident females
WORLDS DsPENsARY MEDICAL ASSOCIATION Manufacturers,
Main Street. Buffalo, n. Y.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1890-01-08
q An Elevated Railroad Suggestion.

Well, sir" said the elevated cailroad
superintendent to forlorn looking man
who had gained admittance to his pres
ence, what do you want?"
Il would like asituation on your road.
No place for you, think"
But there is; want to be interpreter. "
Interpreter"
Yes, sir; to tell the passengers what
the conductors say when they are calling
out the names of the stations"
The superintendent studied few min
utes and then told the man to call later.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1890-01-08

A SOMERSET COUNTY (Pa.) veteran
drew his pension money. and put it in his
pants pocket. A few minutes later he
felt an unpleasant heat and, putting his
hands in. found his pocket aud money
destroyed. He thinks a match came in
contact with silver dollar aud caused
the fire. Az any rate, 80 in silver was Il
that remainRd of his SIS.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1890-01-08
Some Foolish PeopIe

Allow a cough to run until it gets beyond
the reach of medicine. They often say.
oh. it will wear away" but in most cases
IL wears Them away. Could they be induced
20 try the successful medicine called kemp's
Balsam, which is sold on a positive guaran-
tee 10 cure. they would Immediately see the
excellent effect after taking the first dose.
Price soc and SI.00. Trial size free. AT all
-
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1890-01-08
DON'T Fool

Away preci0psitime and money and trifle
with your health experimenting with Un-
certain medicines. when DR.. lie rce's Col
den Medical discovery is SO positively GER
tain in its curative action as ia warrant its
in guaranteeing IL To cure
diseases Of the blood, skin. and scalp. and
all scroiulous Affections. or moGey paid for
ii will be refunded.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1890-01-08
A Fellow Feeling.

st. Peter-Woll, SIR what have you to
say for yourself?
Applicant (despondently)-Well. sir, TO
be candid with you, I'm afraid I've no
chance here. l was snake editor of the
New York Noon.
ST. Peter-Never mind that; walk in. I
was fisherman once myself. MWseys
WooEIO
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1890-01-08
TeOk the Hint.

Papa cat the top of the stairs, Csc
a. m. )-Carrie, ask George 70 step this
way.
George (timidly)-W-well, sir2
Papa tsneeringly)-Of course you will
breakfast with us?
George-I think had better he going.
sir. IL is rather late. Where's my coat
and hat, Carrie? Quick sxit.)
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1890-01-08

Whether on pleasure bent or business.
should take on every trip bottle OF Syrup
OF Figs. as it acts most pleasantly and ef-
feetually on the kidneys. liver. and bowels.
preventing feyers. headaches. and other
forms OF sickness. For sale in soc and 81
bottles by all leading drug gists.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1890-01-08
Hibbard's Rheumatic and Liver Pills.

These Pills are scientifically compounded,
uniform in action. No gripping pain so COM
monty following the use OF pills. They are
adapted 70 both adults and children with
perfect safety. We guarantee they have
no equal I'm the cure OF Sick Headache, Con-
stlpatiop, Dyspepsia. Biliousness; and, as
an appetizer. they excel any other prepare
ton.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1890-01-08

AN incandescent lamp Arrangement for
showing the interior of boilers while I'M
der steam has been made by'a German
inventor. The device is likely to be Of
practical as we'll as of scientific value.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1890-01-08

Any article that has outiived "a years Of
competition and imitation. and sells more
and more each year. must have merit Dob
Just that article. Ask your grocer for il.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1890-01-08

I'm going to feed that hen of mine or
sugar of lead" What an ideal" y
w0ntto see if l can't make a typesettei
of her. "-Hdrper's Ba<Gr.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1890-01-08
gmpor,ant N~,ice.

We are noe making small size Bile Beans
Norty little beans in each bottle). They
are the most convenient 60 use; specially
adapted for ehillren aud women. Price
25 cents boccle. J. +. Smith a. Co.. St.
Louis Mo
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1890-01-08

A TRACT OF land which included the
main portion of the original plat of
Johnstown was once bought for SOL at
n forced sale
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1890-01-08
or.go,. IN. Paraa,.e Of Farm.r..

Mid, equable climate. certain and abundant
crops. Best fruit, grain, grass, and stock coun.
try I'm the world Full information free. Ettress
the Oregon Immigration Board. Portland, Oregon
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1890-01-08

Tue best cough medicine IL Pisos Ours
for Consumption. sold eve ywhere 25c.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1890-01-08

A CHATTANOOGA lawyer dared Shell
byville belle to marry him. She wouldn' Z
take dare, and the wedding came off
the same day.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1890-01-08

IT seems that comic opera stars now
disappear when they want to keep them
selves before the public.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1890-01-08

Cough, COLD. on SORE THROAT shouk
not be neglected. Browns BRONCHIAL
TEocHEs are "A SIM pie remedy, and give
prompS relief. rs cts a box.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1890-01-08

EVERY once In while the banana peel
looms up as sad reminder of the roller
skating craze.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1890-01-08

THE clergyman doesn't pay much at
fention 10 the stock EXCHANGE, but he is
frequently long" in sermons Merchdnt
,TrdUeteT.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1890-01-08

$500 REWARD offered for an ineurabls case
OF Catarrh by the proprietors o., DR.. Sage s
Remedy. 30 cts. by druggists.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1890-01-08

MANY initiate. none equal, ~Tansills
Punch Americas finest Sc. Cigar.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1890-01-08

MAN might never become "a fence even
were he continually a. railing.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-06-08
ERRORS ABOUT cHIMNEYs.
Well. Known Glassworker Thinks Their
Toughness 10 Due to Luck.

A WE'LL Known GIassworker Thinks Their
Toughness 10 Due to Luck.
A well-known glassworker who has been
making lamp chimneys for one of Pitts
burg's big firms for long time expressed
his amusement the other day at an account
of an old Southern lady who had used the
same lamp chimney for over eight years,
and who attributed its toughness to having
boiled it in salt and water. "This idea is
as funny as it is old", said he, "for water
cannot be made hot enough to penetrate or
melt glass. Another curious idea is to chip
a fragment out of the chimney so as to
enable it to expand more readily. In chip
ping out the piece half the time a small
crack is made, and the first excessive heat
the glass endures terminates its existence.
Although / have been making lamp
chimneys good many year, 1 confess freely
don't know how it is some are so much
tougher than others. At home I have a
thin, cheap chimney that have used regu-
larly for at least two years, while have
used up three 'unbreakable' ones in one year
on another lamp. 1 am inclined to think
that there is more luck than salt water about
toughened glass;"
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-06-08
.z.9zZ77Z|29RjggpsgZL RGBI6

satisfied. But when she placed tns rlng
upou her hand in order to stop tine no" "
blood, she experienced so severe pSin II
her finger that she screamed aloud ana
placed her hand in water to ease the Durn. q
ing. but in vain. She then tried to Draw on
the ring, but it seemed to have grown 70 nsr ;,
finger. Her shrieks became so loud tnst all
the servants ran to her assistance MANY
learned physicians were called, out none
could give relief, and after many days OF
extreme torture the unhappy woman aieu.
When Meta heard OF her stepmothers oeatn
she went to the city to look once more on
the face of the woman who had treated ner
so cruelty. When the people assembled IN
the church to hear the funeral sermon reao,
Meta, pale and beautiful, walked Down ~, Ine
long aisle and knelt before the altar. Inc
appearance of the lovely stranger exclteo
great surprise among the people, who took
her for some grand Princess.
The Grown Prince, who was present. was
80 charmed by her beauty that he wished to
take her at once with him to his palace.
The fairies, although grieved to part with
their little friend, willingly gave their con-
sent for her to become the wife Of the noble
Prince. When the wedding was being eel
ebrated with great splendor hundred ol
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-06-08
1067-Ben-jam-in.
lO68-Belligerent.
HEARTS IN JEwELRY.
A Pretty Fashion That Has Come to Us
From Over the Sea.

Everything is going to hearts in jewelry.
The fashion comes to US from England, and
seems destined to be as popular here as over
the water. The lover now gives his sweet
heart moonstone heart, set round with
diamonds, which she wears next her heart,
pinned OH beneath the corsage.
Hearts appear in every kind of jewelry-
in lace pins especially. Very beautiful is
one made of two hearts, of rosy-tinted conch
shells set in diamonds and united by true
lovers knot studded with brilliants.
Another pin bas two hearts of ilagree gold
wreathed with delicate blue forget-me- nots
and marguerites, and these, too, are tied
together by lovers knot. There are others
of turquoisss surrounded hy pearls, moon
stones and diamonds; pSarl with an en-
ameled pansv and dew-dr3p diamond center
each and all united by she inevitable true
lovers knot. 3
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-06-08

East river at its narrow
est point with arms and
legs tied. This was con-
sidered, says the New
York Sun. quite an
achievement at the time,
but there is a young Mis-
sourian in town who pro-
poses shortly to knock
the professors perform
ance into a cooked hat.
Balho swan with his
hands tied behind his
back, but the rope was
bound in such a manner
as to allow the hands
plenty OF latitude, suE
fcient to keep him afloat.
The mbitious newcomer
will be bound as por-
trayed in the illustra-
tion, 125 leet of rope be-
ing used in the opera
ton, in connection with
the two straps. In each
hand will be a dumbbell
to convince skeptics alter
the performance that the
hands were not in use
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-06-08
A NEW PROPELLER.

How an Old Ohio Riverman Proposes to
Re-olutionize Navigation.
New York SUM-
On the stocks at the west end of the Erie
bridge in Newark is new propeller, which
the protector thinks will revolutlonize navi-
CATION in all countries. 1t is twin-screw
propeller, 100 feet long and 20 feet beam,
with an unusually long overhang stern, high
bow and shallow draught The boat is be-
ing constructed on plans made bv r. NJ.
Ruble. The frame and planking is un-
usually strong, for the boat is intended for
seagoing excursions, and is to be used by
the Atlantic Steamboat Company of Allan
tic City in connection with the Pennsylyania
Railroad Company's excursions. Mr.. Ruble
is the inventor of a peculiar screw, which
he has used successfully on the Ohio
river, where he began his experiments,
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-06-08
rwRIrrrx roH TEE p1sPATcH.I

Near the end of village close by the
forest lived an old widow and her STEP
daughter Meta. The little brown house
made pretty picture with its woodbine and
climbing roses, and shaded by large beech
trees, whose overhanging branches almost
touched the moss-grown root. Many flowers
bloomed about the door, and the songs OF the
forest birds and the murmuring of the brook
were 10 be heard at all times. Within the
cottage all was so neat and comfortable that
it seemed to be the home OF very happy
people. But such was not the case; for the
stepmother scolded from morning to night,
and in her rough, harsh voice was constantly
complaining. Although her daughter tried
hard to please her, nothing seemed to suit
this cross, ill-natured woman.
Meta was a good child both at school and
at home, but she had one great fault. She
had received as present from her teacher a
small pearl-handled penknife, with which
her mother had forbidden her to play, lest
she might cut herself. But in spite of her
mothers commands, Meta would take the
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-06-08
AMERICAN GOODS ABROAD.

Difference Of Opinion ms 10 the Qualify of
the Packing Used.
In explaining why American cities are
getting more trade from the British colonies
than of yore, the Australian Ironmonqer
says, after stating that American goods are
cheaper, quality considered, than the
English: American manufacturers are
more inclined to put a gilt edge on their
goods by superior packing and better cases.
The effect is remarkable"
This is in strange contrast to the complaint
Of the Mexican merchants that while
American goods are the best the packing is
so interior to the English that the latter are
preferable.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-06-08
A Veil Of Mist

Rising at morning or evening fr2m some low
laria. Where maiarial fever prevails no one Is
safe, unless protected by some efficient medi-
cinal safeguard. Hostetter's Stomach Bitters
is both protection and a remedy. No person
who inbabits or sojourns in a miasmatic re-
gion Of country, should omit to procure this
fortifying agent, which is also the finest known
remedy for dyspepsia, constipation. kidney
trouble and rheumatism.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-06-08
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS..

As was seated in one
Looking things over just for fun
Old garments that had had their day
And now with rubbish cast away,
In an old box of cast-of shoes
1 found pair of ancient ttOos.
Embroidered with the incest skill,
Che silver buckles on them still
There lay they in heap of tow,
A relic of the long ago.
And musing there chanced to see
Another relic twas three.
A little simple implement
Used in the kitchen-bruised and bent
Which aided once the pastry cook
To make things good which all partook,
But mid the trumpery twas tossed,
And with the rest forgotten-lost.
AIDYI.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-06-08

during the swim. This viii be sufficient
evidence, for it is obvious that If the swim
ruer opened his hands during the transit the
IRON weights would join McGinty at the bot
tom of the SAY"
"Original Gene" Mercadier is the name
Of this natatorisl artist, and while q
stranger in the North, he il quite famous In
the sunny South.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-06-08

more little elves, bearing gifts Of gold and
precious stones. entered the palace and
bowed in homage before the little lady.
Meta afterward became a great Queen,
much beloved by the people, and. although
ever beautiful, she always remained pale.
PAYsIE,
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-06-08
1076-sYNCoPATIoN.

ITO strike together as in pain"
Seems not to make the total plain.
BY persons who of teeth have none
/ should not think it could be done,
Those who in fight with swords OF knives
Seek to destroy each others lives
May get of lasts perhaps number
Ere they sleep their final slumber.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-06-08
ANSwERS,

l063-sword-fsh, pipe-hsh. saw-fsh. sun-nsh,
globe-fish, moon-tsh, butterty y-fsh, drum, fish,
gar-fish, cuttle-hsh.
lO64-Earth, heart, Herat.
lO65-Felicity, veracity, simplicity. rusticity,
quacity. velocity, elasticity electricity. capac-
ity; scarcity, sagacity, gertinacity.