The morning call., 1890-11-16
FUNNY STORIES
TOLD BY BARNUM.
Solomon's Wisdom Is Echoed by
the Veteran Snowman.
There Is Nothing New Under the Sun-Evsn
Jocose History Repeats Itself-Rev. Mr..
Barnum and the Broken Vases.

7rO, T. BARNUM is a man who be-
4SAz4 lieves in placing himself before
ISENsJ the public in some way or other, so
that the people may know that he is still in
the land of the living His latest idea is
writing funny stories for the newspapers.
In a letter to the New York Herald he
writes: "The stories l offer have at least
this freshness-they are told in my way and
they are not to be found in the magazine
article or in my book"
Following are few of the stories he sent
to that journal:
In small village near Syracuse in New
York the clergyman of the only church
there was taken suddenly i'll, and the con-
gregation were anxious in regard to finding
a substitute on the following Sunday. at
last they remembered that namesake of
mine, the Rev. Mr.. Barnum, who had for
merly been popular minister, but was then
thriving farmer. lived few miles away.
They sent a messenger to ask him to preach
for them on the occasion. The whilom
divine said he had not preached for several
years, but to accommodate them he would
come over and do so next Sunday. The
ladies of the church, wishing to pay him ex-
ira attention and compliment him il such
way as laid in their power, obtained a
couple OF tall china vases, and filling
them with flowers placed one on
each side of the cushion of the pull
to such decorations, and probably scarcely
noticed them, as he had plenty of flowers at
home. After a hymn had been sung he rose
to make prayer and as he said, Let us
pray" he closed his eyes. and. swinging his
arms right and left, accidentally knocked
tbo t,un NJ Hnwnrc nff the lad Oo and
they came crashing down some twenty feet
upon the floor. The congregation, who had
already closed their eyes and bowed their
heads, hearing the noise looked up to dis
cover the cause, while the old clergyman,
with much surprise. looked down upon the
the congregation were thinking OF the pecu-
mary loss they had sustained by the acct
dent, he quietly remarked, II can pay for
them," and proceeded with his prayer.
Aneighbor of mine in Bethel named Eleazer
Taylor was one day telling my grandfather
about an extraordinary dog which he owned.
Said he: Il can send that dog into the
field, tell him to drive in the sheep OF the
cows, or my horses, and he invariably
makes the selection indicated and brings the
right ones in. He is really the most intelli-
gent dog l ever saw. Of cold morning
when our cook is preparing the breakfast
in the fireplace and placing the dishes Of
food on the hearth to keep them warm, that
dog will be close by them and never take
mouthful." ''There is a dog in town that
would" replied my grandfather. much to
the Indignation OF Uncle Eieazer.
NEGRO QUOTATIONS.
The colored population of the Southern
States, who are mostly ex-slaves or the chill
dren Of slaves, are very excitable and en-
thusastic class upon religious matters.
Years ago comparatively few of their preach
ers could read, but having had the Scriptures
read to them so much they got the New
Testament by heart. and some of them gave
such stirring sermons and prayers as
served to excite..their illiterate hearers and
sometimes to throw numbers of them into