Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1890-05-10
t<LL RIGHTS REsERVED.l
CHAPTER XIV.
DAIsYs DIARY IN JoY.

with every engaged girl in the world, for
Anov know what love means. know that
1t means everything.
What will Cyril think, down at the bottom OF
this round globe, when he hears that Gilbert
and are to be married on the first day OF the
new year? What can he think, except that L
am the lightest and most contemplate young
woman he ever had the misfortune to count
among his acquaintance.
Beatrice Reardon has been very nice to me-
She says that have nothing to be ashamed
about in the transaction. 1t is customary. 1t
Is one nay say, rule Of the game. A girl who
has the slightest self-respect will get engaged
within q week after the parting, even if she
has to marry chimney sweep.
meant to write everything IN in this diary.
meant the story of my life to be complete;
and yet am going to leave one little blank,
which represents the crisis of my existence.
cannot write the mode and manner of my
engagement; that sudden passage from liberty
to bondage, when he took me in his arms in
the arbor where we once were so miserable,
and called me WIFE," Wife, as if we we're
married already.
cannot write of his kisses or count them as
IL they were pounds. shillings and pence in the
hOusekeepers book. / cannot write all the
sweet foolishness of his talk, the undeserved
praises, the intoxicating batteries, which he
protested were not batteries. He talked and
listened and We were engaged. That Is my
only record.
On the same evening. however, we had a
very serious conversation on the terrace after
dinner. Mother was in her favorite seat by the
drawing-room window. Uncle Ambrose was
pacing the room. We could see them both in
the lamplight as we walked slowly up and
down.
We talked of the moon little. and he quoted
Shelley. whom he knows well if he had
competed for one of Mrs Crawshays prizes;
and then / ventured TO ask him q question
which had been burning my tongue ever since
We were engaged, just four hours and half
it was wonderful what those four hours had
done for me. / felt as much at nv ease with
him as If / had been engaged for three weeks,
and began to understand the cool audacity of
girls who send their frances on messages and
make light OF them In company. and the free
and easy manners of the motherly girls who
mend their sweethearts' gloves, and scold
them for splitting things on their waistcoats,
and put diachylum plaster on their wounds.
will YOU be very angry if l ask you ques-
tion?' l asked.
Il should be angry if you wished to ask me
anything and didn't, said he. Being your
slave, what should do"
PLEASE DON'T" cried. "Cyril quoted that
sonnet once and | was quite rude to him about
1t. l shouldn't like you to quote anything
secondhand. Yet it is a lovely sonnet, isn't
sounded sweet from him. Cyril was not in
touch with my ideas about Shakespeare" He
laughed and answered with a most unneces-
sary kiss.
You really wouldn't mind?" asked
From those lips all words are dear"
''Were you ever ill love with anybody be-
fore you began to care for me-"
"Ah, / thought that question would come
Shall answer it Jesuitically or honestly?''
''Oh, honestly, please; be brutal to me rather
1T.hN IN II g.
the worst. You must have adOred ever SO
many girls before You came to let your chances
light upon insignificant me-"
Ever many? That's a large order. Sup
pose plead guilty to two wish 1 had never
looked at a woman or at least never wasted a
thought upon one till saw you. shouldn't
If had only known what was coming"
do you really think / am nice as the
other twoI' l asked, comforted by those sweet
words
II think you are to them as a wild rose on
hedge In the dewy morning compared with a
double dahlia in the heat and dust and glare of
tent No. at a flower show. You are as the
freshness of the morning and they smelt of
gas The first could not help that. poor soul,
for it was across the footlights my heart went
out to her."
WAS she very pretty?" asked.
''She was very pretty. That was just fifteen
years ago, mark you, when L was at Eton. She
Is very pretty at this present hour; she will so
century. She Is burlesque actress. and saw
her in the daintiest little villagers dress you
can conceive, dancing as lightly as real fairy.
and not a stage one. Yes, Daisy" he said
gravely, Il plead guilty to being over head and
ears IN love with Miss Mllllcent Melville of the
Hilarity fifteen years ago, for the whole space
of the Christmas holidays. l was stone broke
for her sake, and spent all my tips upon thea
ter tickets, hot house flowers and chocolate
caramels / delivered the flowers and the cara
me N 70 lnrly hr
have sold them to the minor members of the
troupe for aught know. / never got speech
of my houri, and was heart-broken when /
discovered, upon unlmpeachable authority,
that she had a husband and five children. How
che did it-how she looked SO lovely and sylph-
like and chlldishly innocent, with an eating and
drinking, smoking and swearing man and five
brats TO work for have never been able to IN
derstand'
Was she number one2" asked.
Yes, she was number one"
I'm that case / forgive you your first love-
And now tell me about your second"
That Is graver case. Daisy. I cannot
make light Of that infatuation. Cupid did not
essall me with paper pellets that time His
ARROWS were barbed and the barbs were poi
soned- loved a woman who was unworthy of
my love. Daisy. passed through the scath-
ing fire Of a wasted passion"
You loved her as well as you love me?" 1
asked, feeling just as il had dropped from a
paradise IN yonder moon down to a hard,
cruel earth.
All my gladness persisted in one gaspine
sigh- L felt sure he had cared more for her
than for me.
I'm afraid must plead guilty to having
loved her very dearly while my love lasted,
Daisy; but the cure was q clean cure There
was not SO much as a scar left from the old
wound by the time / met you in Paris; and
from that hour | was yours and yours only"
And If had not broken with Cyril what
would you have done!"
Lived on my roaming, desultory life and
suffered the dull agony of an empty heart"
Were you really unhappy in Scotland in
spite OF grouse and eapper-cailzies and things ~
In spite OF as fine a stag as was ever
ssalked. which this hand slew the day before
casually heard that Arden had sailed in the
big new ship for Colombo"
And would you not have found some new
divinity before Christmas?''
could not but feel that il was nice of him 10
tell me the truth, even at the risk of offending
me for life.
TEL me about that second fame of yours ~
said, agonized with curiosity. WAS she very
loyelyI"
'She was splendidly handsome, a woman
whose diamonds seemed more brilliant than
thoSe OF other women. because they so harmon
hed with her bold. bright beauty. / was among
many worshippers, and / happened to be the
most elglble of her adorers from a matri-
monlaI point Of view and so she was gracious
70 me and so was her slave"
Did she 1Ht you?' l asked, for there was a