The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-04-15
THE ARIZONA KICKER.
Extracts CulIed by The Detroit Free Press
from Its Latest Issue.

Extracts CulIed by The Detroit Free Pres
from Its Latest Issue.
! WE TOLD You So.-Six weeks ago mag
named Scott opened a grocery store on Co
manche street, and when weCasUaliy dropped
/ in and mentioned the fact that The Kicker
was the best advertising medium in the west,
he didn't enthuse. We knew there was some
thing wrong about him, and we sent his de-
scription to the si1ty-four sheriffs and chiefs
of police who are constantly in coInmunica-
ton with u.s.
Last Thursday, just after we had gone 60
press, a detective arrived from Louisville and
colIared Mr.. Scott, VINO is a defaulting county
treasurer. he has left U.s. and we bought the
stock of groceries at about twenty-five cent?
on the dollar Had Mr. Scott advertised he
would doubtless have built up large and
profitable business, but he took a wrong view
of it, and VIII probably 90 TO state prison for
fifteen or twenty years.
POOR OLD PALsY!-EFe never refer to our
contemporary down the street if we can avoid
it. In the first place, he hasn't got enough
brains or office TO deserve the title, and in the
next he is q poor, palsied old man who is
gradually dying Of envy and starvation, and
we shall have TO foot his burial expenses when
our private graveyard and its five occupants.
This so excited the Jealousy of the old relic Of
the Seventeenth century that he borrowed
revolver and took trip around town yes
terday in search of blood. He finally found
one Of Col. McCracken's Digger Indians
asleep in the sun, and opened fire on him from
a distance of four feet. He didn't even wake
the red skin up, and Judge TaIlman, who OBJ
I,
went out and drove poor old palsy away with
a broom.
We are sorry for him. They say he cried
while going back to his one-horse alleged
newspaper, and no wonder. He should never
have come west. He came, as we ascertained,
to evade arrest for bicamv, but ne should
have taken some other route. When nature
fits man to raise hollyhocks in New Jersey
he has no business coming west to try to raise
that other product.
NOT HIS FACLT-A number of our towns
people have expressed the hope that we would
pitch into DR.. Staghorn, the popular drug
gist. for killing old man Slew by putting up
arsenic for Quinine in a prescription. We
shall do nothing of the sort. The doctor has
not only increased his advertising One-haH
this week, but has subscribed for five copies
of The Kicker TO send away. While this, of
course, does not influence Us in the least, we
know from personal observation that the doc
tor is very busy man, and that the room in
his store Is limited. He has no choice but to
keep many different sorts of powders in the
same drawer, and it is only to be expected
that mistake should happen now and then.
Furthermore, who was old Slew, anyhow?
A lazy, dissipated vagabond, whom the boys
would have hung in the course Of few
weeks at best. In footing his funeral ex
penses the doctor has shown himself very
liberal and fair minded, and he has shown
himself in various WAYS to belong to that
class wanted in this town to build it up.
No EXTRA CHARGE.-In this issue we pub
lish the full particulars Of two executions,
one Jail delivery, three shooting ARRAYS one
highway robbery, two fist fights, three dog
Hghts, one found dead, a drowning accident,
the arrest Of a road agent, TIE deaths of two
Mexicaus III the late blizzard and the stealing
of Judge Sprouts four mule team.
The thing down the street which calls Itself
a newspaper, and talks about its lightning
press and wild eyed corps of editors from
New York, has, to match all this, cooked
up account OF a fight between 4 jackass rabbit
and a government camel, with its editor for
the solo spectator and reporter. Is it any
wonder that the people Of Arizona can't wait
for The Kicker to be issued each week, and
that dozens of them roost on our doorsteps
all night Wednesday night to get copies the
first thing Thursday morning: All this and
no extra charge, and no handbills out an
nouncing that anything unusual was going
on!-Detroit Free Press.