Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-03-23

A LITTLE COY ON RESULTS.
"But how did it turn out, Governor"
said I, (which whipped"
THAT l don't like to say" replied the
Secretary of Agriculture, land it is hardly
4 fair question to ask
'Oh, well," L replied, Garfield was q
very strong man, General. and You need not
be ashamed OF having had an unsuccessful
contest with a man of his caliber.''
"Weil," continued the General laughing,
and slightly nettled at the thought that he
might be beaten in anything. 81 will saw
that was never downed in rassle until 1
was %, and this happened when was 13
l won't say anything about this Garfield
rassle more than this: 1 was close friend
of Garfeld's from that time to his death
though L did not meet him again until the
opening of the war When we were in Con-
gress together he used to call me stage
driver, and 1 generally replied that was
not ashamed Of it, but 1 thanked the Lord
that he had given me four horses to manage
instead OF condemning ME to steer an insig-
nificant bobtail mule"
Governor Rusk makes very efficient Sec
retary of Agriculture. He gets down to the
department at about 9 o'clock every morn
lug, dictates what shall be done with his
mail and remains here attending to business
until 8. He possesses good executive ability
and has a wonderful memory He has the
power of getting at the meat OF a question in
q moment. He can look through a case and
size it up quickly. and he is not afraid to
say what be thinks.
A STORY FOR EVERY OCCASION.
One Of his prominent traits is that which
Lincoln possessed TO such a degree Of having
q story TO fitevery occasion, and an anecdote
for every illustration. During the last few
weeks there has been considerable discus
sion between the wool growers and the wool
manufacturers and s. F. d. North. one of
the ehief wool manufacturers of the country.
has been trying to lay down the law as to
what the wool growers should have in the
way of tariff. Mr.. North was talking
with the Secretary about this not long ago,
and Governor Rusk said:
"You make me think of the three bows.
each of whom had cent and who dubbed
together and bought a gar. There were
two big boys and one little one. One of the
big boys lit the cigar, took a couple of
whiffs and then passed it TO the other big
boy who did likewise and passed it back to
big boy No. One. The little boy meanwhile
looked on with longing eyes and as the
cigar was gradually smoked down to half
of its length wondered whether he was
going to have smoke at all. At last he
mustered up courage and said; "Please.
Sirs, l would like to know where l come
ln?''
"Oh," said the biggest boy as he Justify
puffed out volumes of smoke, there are
always two classes OF smokers, those who
smoke and those who spit and you can do
the splitting
You wool manufacturers are the big
boys, continued the Secretary, "and YOU
are continually telling the growers that
they can do the splitting"
DON'T sQUEAL FOR OTHER PEOPLE.
Another story describes an incident
which took place in the Agricultural De-
partment last week. A chief of one the
divisions had gotten into trouble with
newspaper man and had been soundly rated
by him in the papers. Governor Rusk had
seen the statement and he called the nan
up and asked him what he was going to do
about it. The clerk replied that he didn't
know what to do, and said to the Governor.
Suppose you take the matter up and set
tie it,"
mo, SIR" replied Uncle Jerry. II am
not such fool. 1t is your tail that is under
the gate, and you've got to do the squeal-
ing"
Ii one could have a phonograph worked
by perpetual motion in that Office of Secre-
tary Rusk how many good stories ne might
have. Every Congressman who comes in
carries away one or more, and not few are
happy or miserable by their application.
One tried to chat the Governor last week,
and he stood up be ore him and said:
See here, Governor Rusk, you don't know
me. L want you to understand that come
from the West and Pm a regular Jim
Dandy of feller."
READY WITH HIS RETORT.
Yes, l suppose you are," said Uncle |
Jerry as be arose to his feet in order to tell |
his story better. You make me think of |
the sermon OF the minister who was discours-
ing on the wonders of the Lords creation |
and said that he made the large as we'll as |
the small things OF the universe. Said the |
preacher: When God made the mighty |
ocean, he made little rivulet When he |
made the snow-capPed mountain, he made a |
hiilock. When he made that king of |
beasts, the elephant, ne made a flea: and
when be made me-" here the Governor drew