The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1890-04-09
NEWSY NOTES.

"He can't lie down on the pavement
without holding on'' is the latest descrip-
tion of the maudlingly intoxicated man.
DR.. VIM. Altman, ex-member of the
legislature from Jefferson county, died at
his home in Punxsutawney on the 2lst
ultimo, after long illness.
The comet visible in the Northwestern
sky has proven great attraction to sky
gazers the past week. 1t made its appear
ance recently and may be seen any clear
night.
A bill has been introduced in the Mary
land Legislature to make voting compul-
sorry. 1t provides fine of S. to be inflict-
ed on every qualified voter who cannot
give good excuse for not voting.
A lady addressing letter to Kittanning
wrote the name of the place Cattanning.
We suppose she reasoned thus: If the
town was called Kit-tanning when it was
young, it should be called Cat-tanning
since it is old.-CIarion Democrat. Rats
"How does it happen that there are so
many old maids among the school teach
ers !" teacher was asked, according to
contemporary. because school teachers
are as a rule women of sense. and none of
them will give up $50 position for $40
man, was the reply.
Man is a harvester. He begins life at
the cradle; learns to handle the fork, often
has raKish ways and sows wild oats 4;
threshes his way through the world, and
when he arrives at the sere and yellow
leaf, time mows him down and his re-
mains are planted ON the hillside.
Bradford confectioners have formed a
combine and advanced the price of ice
cream 80 per cent. on small lots--"dish"
or what you usually get in a "dish"
when you pay for "dish" of the COM
pound. Unwisely they publish the whole
business thus far along in advance. 1t is
a warning for young men to stand from
under.
One of our exchanges tells this story,
which would apply in more towns than
one: "Lock Haven has a boy who is con-
sIdered musical prodigy by his papa.
His favorite instrument is a cornet, and
his father has agreed to pay him ten cents
an hour for every hour he practices while
his male ancestor is absent. His mother
gives him fifteen cents for being quiet, and
the neighbors threaten to give him poison
unless he obeys his mother"
An exchange says there is new coun-
terfeit l0-cent piece in circulation, which
so closely resembles the genuine coin that
it can be easily passed off upon the unsus-
pecting. 1t differs from the usual coun-
terfeit in that genuine silver plating
covers the German silver which forms the
body of the coin. This gives it "ring"
very nearly like that of good money, and
also does away with the greasy feeling by
which most counterfets can be detected.
The coin bears tine date of 1887.
One of our leading doctors says spring
fever is a fact, not a figure of speech. Well,
we should say so. Get good robust case
of spring fever once and like our esteemed
cotemporary, Grover Cleveland, who was
once managing editor of this great and
glorious Union, you will be ready to say
that spring fever is "a condition and not
theory" Spring fever is not bold, open
foe. 1t insinuates itself through ones
anatomy and steals over one so sneakingly
that it has hold with both hands before
one is aware of it. The best cure for
spring fever is a fishing-rod and bait. Lots
of bait.