, 1890-03-23

THE GOVERNOR.
Anon one of the neighbors came in an,
asked the governor what was up. He al
lowed that he wasn't so much elected a
he had VOTED. Why, yes, you be-,
said the man. The governor Lricked vi
his ears and began to look for the papers
He now discovered that sure enough h,
was elected after all; so, eating a col,
doughnut and drinking some nom elastic
cider, he returned to the barn. Admins
tering a DoverIs powder and a little bis
muth to the COW he once more hitched III
his drosky, whilst the COW looked up into
his eyes with an air of inquiry and re
proach. as who should say, Governor
how much of this iunketing bushes.
across the nose pettishly and said, There
torment We, can ye never SOP
He became governor, but in a quicI
way, giving to the state a corn starch
administration unmarked by recklessnesI
of intestine strife. He was the only TEN
perance governor, | think, that New
York ever had, and hat was the onl,
way he has been the author of a foot
print on the sands of time.
The COW who assisted him during hi
calm reign of oatmeal and chasteneC
mOnOtony has long since passed to her re
ward.
He still recalls with marked pride hi
career as governor, and speaks of thu
time when he made the trip by diligence
to Albany and back with a pair ST spin
bottomGd chairs lashe1 to the back of tEt
load, a COW attached to the rear also anC
an Oleander from Clean, who went alonl
as an amanuensis.
We should learn from the career O.
Governor Clark to esteem, ever through
life and even beyond the confines OF time,
where sorrow and distress and habits Of
industry can never enter, those qualities
OF mind and heart which, wherever
found and whenever came across. should,
by one and all, be most highly thought
Of.
Estella b., Long Branch. n. j., ask.
for a few hints on travelling etiquette, al
she Is shortly to assist in a bridal tour tc
California.
If you contemplate such a tour, rs
tella, YOU will do well to weigh II well be
torehand and consider your conduct care
fully before taking the fatal step. Ii
the first place do not wear new clothe
while travelling. lC is foolish in the frs
place, and besides, if you are a bride, a
you will be probably, if you contemplat
a trip like this, you will not wish to at
tract too much attention.
Wear the street gloves you have beef
wearing for some time and tell Bartholo
NEW to do the same. If you and he de
eide to wear new shoes, it would be wei
TO soil the soles a little before YOU star
out. Even a sleeping car porter is no
blind to these things, and he tells the con
ductor; the conductor tells the brakeman,
and the brakeman is liable to tell the
superintendent of the road.
Do not adopt the customary style Of
railway eating house devastation. II
your young lite has been cursed by starv.
alton, try to conceal it en- route and tell
bartholomew also to let his hunger, like
a tapeworm, prey upon his inner works,
rather than drown the roar of the report
by his loud stertOrous eating at a twenty
minute death trap.
Do not become absent minded at table.
1t may attract attention. In Canada this
winter | saw an anxious man looking out
the door OF the dining room nervously
as he waited for his breakfast, and when
he got his toasS he turned the slice over
critically to see if it had been properly in
dorsed before he would take it. He
also, when his cakes were brought in,
molstened his finger in his finger bowl
and ran over the little pile OF pancakes
twice to see that the amount was cor
rect. l aiterward learned that the mans
name was Sllcott, formerly of Washing
ton. ID. G.
Tell Bartholomew that he must also
look up the manual of good breeding,
aud not follow a lady up stairs or pre-
cede a lady out OF a room. If he hap
pens to bear that a lady at any time in
the dun future coDteIHplates leaving the
room, he must not go until she has es.
capped. lie may miss his train while she
is saying some things she has already said
several times, but he must not precede
her from the room.
w hen You 90 down the stairs, espec-
lallY at the elevated stations in New
York, you must not cover more than one
flight at a time with your skirts; other.
wise YOU will not only soil your skirts.
but you will delay traffic. Thistis almost
as rude as 1t is for a pre-occupied ass 10
pre-empt the sidewalk by holding his um
brella so as to knock out the eyes of
people who want to retain their eyes. or
tor him to stick his legs across the aisle of
a car and trip up a blind woman whose
sight he has previously DESTROYED with
his umbrella.
The best works on bridal tour etiquette
thus far have forgotten to speak of how
to eat celery properly. Celery may be
eaten with grace. or it may be eaten in
such a way as TO bring pam and sorrow
to the hearts OF those we love the best.
Select a stock by deity pulling it out of
the ornamental umbrella stand in which
1t has been placed on the table, and If you
drag the whole thing out by mistake, do
not curse or otherwise seek to attract at
tention to yourself, but burst forth into a
merry laugh, and while you tell some rich
anecdote or other, you may select some of
the best stalks and replace the others in
the aquarium. Then gently stabbing
your celery into the salt, which should
be on your plate and not on the cloth
or elsewhere. softly insert the vegetable
into the mouth, not to exceed four or
! iour and one half inches, meantime hold