The sun. [volume] (Morris, Stevens County, Minn.) 1882-1895, 1890-01-02
CARL DUNDER.
He Is Catching on to American Ways at

He Is Catching on to American Ways at
"HelloI Mr.. DunderI" Saluted Sergt Ben
dali as that individual entered the Central
station with q broad, satisfied smile on his
countenance
'Hellol sergeant vhas eafrythinGs all
right NIT you1"
II guess so. You look happy"
Sergeant, Vhas shust like sweet oil. No
more troubles for me. vhas catching on to
do shust like Americana
II am glad Of that You used to be ter
80 | vhds Three months ago ! doan
know some beans in q bag. Hal hal Der
cows come along and take me for some grass.
If it rains shtandt right out doors and get
wet. Ha! hal 1t makes me laugh when see
how green vhas"
Anything happened latelyH" queried the
sergeant in careless way.
"Vhell, not moOch. Some fellers try to
beat me, but dey doan' make oudt | vhas
too sharp for 'em. One Teller comes along
NIT six pairs Of sheep shears in a bundle He
doan' want to sell dose shears, but he likes to
borrow three dollars for one day und leaf
EN- for security. If he doan' come pack in
one day dose shears vhas mine"
81 see"
HE doan' come pack. Maybe he break his
leg or something, but dot vhas nothing to me-
keep dose shears If somepody beats me, ser
geant, he shall hat to get oop very early in
der morning"
II presume so. Have you the shears thereP
II hat belief you like to see 'em."
They are worth two shillings pair" said
the sergeant, after an inspection. You are
out of pocket fourteen shillings, and what do
| you expect to do with sheep shearss"
"Heafens! doan' think of dotI" gasped
Mr.. Dunder as he grew white in the face
."Anything else9'
! "Vhell, get my life insured. doan' be-
lief vhas sheated by dot. A Teller comes
along und says vhas Carl Dunder9 vhas.
/ Vhell, der president of der United States says
he likes me to call on you und insure your
| life. Dis vhas new company und a new
idea let you in by der ground floor like
your name to influence odder people.
How vhas dot new ideaP
"You pay only two dollars eafery twenty
years, and if you die your wife gets SIS, OOO.
1t vhas der biggest thing out Shildrens cry
| for it. Vanderbilt, Shay Gould, Russell
Sage und all der big fellows vhas into it.
How oldt you vhas-who vhas your grand
mother-how many teeth have you lost oudt
! vas you eater bit by some dogs-did you
eater own a white horse-how often you fall
down stairs-do you ride on some bicycles,
und dis vhas der truth, der whole truth, und
nothing but der truth"
And he wanted the 50 in advanced"
queried the sergeant.
"Of course. Dot vhas to pay for Swearing
me-"
We'll, you are beaten again, Mr. Dunder.
Insurance men don't do business that way.
Good day."
How you meanE"
"You had better go home Have you got
a tub in your housef'
"Of course"
Amy bran at the barnr'
YES"
well, make the tub about half full Of
mash, and then put your head to soak for
about forty eight hours When through buy
some No. 4 sandpaper and polish it down to
the bone"
Sergeant, vhas some greenhornsT
you are"
"Vhill eafer learn somethingsF
Never"
Then, good-byl shan'ttr no more. It
vhas queer country, und nothing vhas der
same two times alike. When my body vhas
brought in here doom make fun of it. Shust
use it silently und say dot | did so well ash
could "-Detroit Free Press.