Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1890-07-29

You'll have to steal it then" replied H.
| you'll have to get il without NV perDis
| sion"
Don't sup-sup-sup-suppose I'd hunt all
| over sheol To find you to ask YOU for it,
| came the quick response.
That's A. all over said Sandy and h. :
50 innocent when he perpetrates a joke that
lac reminds me of friend of mine. Ny
friend is ii tcetotaler TO the extent that he
| will never take anything spirituous except
ing old cider which he declares is good for
hi. health Hes sincere about il too. and
at "A reunion of the old Fifth, though III a
room with some of the boys for he's 81 so
cial fellow despite his rigid temperance
| views. he refused all invitations to partake
of the champagne and called for cider in
stead. Twas II mean trick but one of the
boys got the waiter to mingle little cham
payne with the cider. To make long story
| short there was fun getting him TO his room
and bed and the next morning he didn't
evince much appetite at the hrcakf fast table.
Poor fellow don't believe he even then
really knew what the matter was but fel,
| that little cider might tone up his appe-
lite. If you'll believe it he ordered q halt
dozen varieties in his cndeavor to get the
brand of the night before
After the laugh had subsidized. the CONVEX.
sation drif,ed onto the subject of the electric
railroad Amy man with sense of humor
| ha, only to board one of these cars and keep
his eyes and ears open and he'll drive
| away the worst bit of blues that flesh is he'll
to- said the Colonel Il never shall for
get the scene | once witnessed on a New
York street ear.
A stout. jolly florid-fa woman BOARDED
Broadway horse-car at Forty second street
She WINS accompanied by young couple
evidently lover and sweetheart The three
had no sooner found seats than the young
man thrust his hand in his vest pocket and
made dash for the rear platform. whcr,
the conductor was standing in a half dream
But the old lady, who had been whispering
TO her daughter. wouldn't have it. She
dashed through the car like cyclone and
catching the young man by the collar, ierked
| him back so quickly that he almost lost his
| balance.
No, Jimmy, she cried. GREATNESS. paw
the fares. You 20 back and talk to Doro-
| thy
| Jimmy protested hut without avail The
prospective mother-in-law pulled out hei
purse. and with a majestic air handed sill
yer half-lollar to the conductor.
Take the fares out. she said I'm a
married woman. and no man but nv nus
| band can treat me.
| The old lady's temperament was deeid
| Guy OF the sensitive ORDER remarked Jerry
| from his corner where he had sat a silent
| listener.
| She, was ~ careful of her good name a.
newly elected constsble once knew
fou Oil Know now al men are apt TO feel
when they firs' get their commissions. This
constable speak OF had Just been elected
up in little Wisconsin villsge where 1 was
stopping at the time being interested in
certain railroad operations IN that vicinity
The evening OF the incident I'm going 10
relate We were all seated about the Office OF
| the little hotel when boy came in and re-
ported that he had seen tramp enter an
old barn on one of the back streets and the
| constable invited Us TO 20 along and see him
jerk thunder as he put it. out of the
wayfa-er. Half Il dozen of us accompanied
him. and winn W. reached the barn it was
to find the interior as black AS pitch and no
lantern in the crowd. We were for sending
for one. but the constable protested.
There is no occasion for light. will
call upon him to come out, and he will
come
He stood in the open door, with the crowd
behind him, and called in loud voice;
'Ho, there. You villsin, come out and
surrender to the lew. and don't be over q
minute about it either
There was no snswer. sithOugh oil of Us
herd some one moving abou, inside.
In the n.mc of the law | order YOU 10
come out = shouted the constable. but ths
unknown didn't come.
We sg,in proposed to get . isntern and
then ell go in to b elk the officer in coisring
the m,n. hut his official dsnder had now