The Colfax chronicle., 1890-11-22
PUNoENT PARAGRAPHS.

PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.
"A mountain of alabaster is supposed
to have been discovered $50 miles nortn
of Denver, Col. =
First Clerk pretty good
at your placcg' Second Clerk
yes 1t has been SO rushing that sney
have not had time to pay the nanos
for three weeks"
Prof. Donder. of Utrecht has as
covered that it takes the brain .O67 OF
second to elaborate single idea. But
then the average brain has long ume
to rest afterward.
Proud Mother-sAt last. my dear,
your education is finished, and you have
diplomas from the highest seat OF learn
ing in the world" Cultured Daughter
(wearily)-"Yes, and now I'm too old
to marry."-N. Y. Weekly.
1t is customary in Russia for trav-
clers to carry their own bed-linen. Pill
lows, towels, etc. That is better than
carrying of the towels, etc., belonging
to the hotel. as is frequently done In
this scountrv.-Texas Siftings.
"A negro drayman whilc drivinga
dray heavily loaded with merchandise
at Macon, lost his balance and fell on.
and the dray passed directly over his
neck. Strange to say, it was not broken,
but the negro's injuries were serious
THAT new girl of yours is rather
shrinking, modest creature. Scadiey'
isn't she?" ''Well, should say she
was. / didn't visit her more'n week
before she suggested that turn down
the light in order that she might hide
her bushes. ~ Philadelphia Times
-Larkins-Divorces arenot numerous
| in Japan, 1. believe" Bunting-"I
don't know; but how did you form that
opinion?" Larkins-"From the fact
that women are not permitted to appear
on the stage in that country. \.
World.
-Mamma-"Um-ah dear. This
young man who is calling on you SO con-
stantly-do you think he has any inten-
tions?' Laura-"He doesn't know
whether he has or not. lam the only one
whose intentions are going to cut any
figure in this deal. "-Terre Haute Ex.
! press.
j -Pat-"This is a great scheme.
Bridget-"Phwat is?" Pat-"I see that
. man can get post-office money order
for 800 for As cents. have dollai
left, and I'll git some av thin ordhers
this very day and sthart in business
again. This is great country. New
Hampshire Republican.
Ul>~k 4 NJ G
suitable motto-please don't touch
that book; paid forty dollars for the
binding alone--a suitable motto for thil
room. What would you suggest?'
Cynicus-"Why not adapt Coleridge-
Books, books everywhere. but not
thing to read?' "--Harper's Bazar.
-villager-"Ah! Congressman Blank
very glad met you. want you to in
troduce bill compelling all bras
bands to join tho militia, and in case o
war march to the front Congressman
s.Um! Suppose such bill should be
come a lawi then what?" Villager-
.Then what? Why, we'd get up war.
Good News.
"A Clue.-
Within hammock snug they sat
But how the two behaved.
One could not tell. 1t was so dark,
Had it not been for the remark
10, George, you must get shaved"
-Philadelphia Press.
"A woman may fret and chafe be
cause the pudding is overdone. or ge
her nerves all into snarl If her hus
band happens to bring home company t
dinner unexpectedly, but when it come
to wrapping up a sore finger she stand
at the top OF the heap. with mien fre
Of vinegar and touch lighter than day
Rams Horn.
-Susie-sGoing to the country thi
summer, Bessie?" Bessie-"Yes; bu
we hardly know where to CO." Susie
"Why don't you go where you went las
year?' Bessie-''To Farmer Haycut's
That's where we were intending to g
, only we heard that Farmer Haycu
! made so much money out of keepin
!. summer boarders that he came to th
citv tn 1.-Two in stvlo "-Yankeo Rlade