The sun. [volume] (Morris, Stevens County, Minn.) 1882-1895, 1890-09-18
Jokes Of Johnny Rebs.


\ Once General Hardee came acros
straggler and asked him "whyh
did not travel faster and keep up
With his command" The soldier
wished to know "what in the deuce
he had to do with it,"
"Only that / am General Hardee,
the commander of this department.
was the reply.
"Oh, you wrote book on tactics,
did your"
II did," said the General
"Well," said the private. 81 have
been taught according to your rules
how TO double column at half dis
tance. Now wish you would tell
me how to double distance on half
rations."
General Hardee stuck spurs to his
horse and Travelled ON.
Early in the war one of the men of
a South Carolina brigade was on
picket duty (so-caIled) near Manas-
sas. There was not a Yankee
within twenty miles of us at that
time. The next day there was to be
an inspection, and our hero had TAX
en- his gun all to pieces and was rub
bling it up SO as to make it shine the
next day when inspected. While SO
doing General Barham, who was I'M
known to the soldiers (who was new
Tecruit), rode up. "What are you
doing there" said General Barham.
ooh, l am kind of a sentinel, who
are you, anyhow"
ooh, | am only kind Of a Briga-
der General" was the answer.
Hold on; wait until I get this
darned old gun together and | will
give you kind of a present." said
the sentinel.
But General Barham did not wait.
He went off and reported the luckless
soldier, who in a short time, found
himself "a kind" of a prisoner in "a
kind" of guard house and had to
do number of extra hours of duty
as "a kind of sentinel.
IL
Georgia had been very persistent in
personal application to General Lee
for q furlOugh. One morning the
General asked his tormentor if he
understood the position of a soldier.
He was ordered to assume it. Gen
eral Lee then gave the command
fright about face; forward, march. )"
. no ra T1H fn
halt" the Georgian kept on march
ing until he got tired; but this little
hint cured him, and his next applica-
ton was through the usual channels.
When General Malone was wound
ed at second Manassas some one, to
comfort Mrs Malone, said: ooh,
don't be uneasy; it's only a flesh
wound" Mrs. Malone, through her
tears cried out: ooh, l know that
is impossible. There is not desh
enough on him for that"
| don't know whether this is a Joke
on the General or the private. Aday
or so after the old First reached Ma
nassas Junction, in August, 1861, one
of the men, who did not clearly COM
prehenl his position, mad the impu-
dence to ask General Beauregalsl
"where certain big guns that had
Just arrived from Richmond would
be placed" The General replied;
young man, if the coat on my back
knew the secrets of my head | would
cut it in pieces"
On the Peninsula the gallant and
jolly General Bankhead Magruder
had ordered a meal for himself and
staff. A hungry reb-and who ever
saw one who was not hungry?-came
up to the farm house, espied the
nicely filled table, and without leave
or license, sat down and began tc
annihilate things. Just then the
General and friends walked in, escort
ed by the host. All were surprised
Halt" said fiery Magruder, in
terms more explicit than polite, "dc
you know whose table that is yor
are eating at? "No, sir" said Johr
Reb, with his mouth full "Whose is
it?"
General Magruder's sir, the com
mander of this department"
"All right General" with another
big mouthtul. "These war times
amt particular where l eat or who
| eat with; sit down and make your.
self at home"
The foraging private was uncere
moniously fired out, but not before
he had nearly gotten outside of 6
I pretty square meal.