The gold leaf. [volume] (Henderson, N.C.) 1881-1911, 1890-04-10
TO SAY WOMAN OR LADY?
FRENCH AND AMERICAN MANNERS
CONURASTED.
Something About the Use of the Words
MAN" and Woman"

Mail duu NOl0dn.
["Miss Palfrey" in New York Star.l
l found myself recently standing
alone for a minute at very elegant
reception, and standing near me, also
alone, was tall, handsome woman of
about forty years, who was very hand
somely dressed. For the sake of
being sociable, spoke to her, remark
ing upon the large number of women
present.
"Ladies?" she questioned, with
surprise in her voice and on her face.
l thought it was generally under
stood that, because the words "gen-
tleman" and lady" have been so
often misused, that among persons who
are entitled by reason of their refine
ment and culture to be designated by
these words, the two words s.man"
and woman" are always substituted
when speaking of their equals. l
know that there are old fashioned per-
sons that still cling to "lady" and
"gentleman," looking upon the use OF
oman" and woman" as but one of
the many small things that denote the
" fast" young people of to-day. Some
persons there are who use that quaint,
old word, "gentlewoman" in place of
"lady," which is as suggestive of
courtesy, refinement and education as
the word "gentleman" should be, and
was, until it came to be misused. My
laundress wears diamond earrings, and
calls herself " lady, and, certainly,
if she is one l am not, and l do not
wish to be the kind of lady that she is,
and which she probably arrogates to
herself as much on account of her~dia-
mond earrings as on account of any
thing else. My janitor calls himself
"gentleman," and no doubt he is one
according to his own estimation. But
if education, refinement and courtesy
count for anything, the laundress'' is
not "lady," and the "janitor" is
not a "gentleman." Servants often
say of their masters and mistresses that
they are cereal. ladies" and "real gen
tlemen," simply because they are free
with their money. According to their
ideas, people who dispense money lib
orally, not to say recklessly, are la
dies and "gentlemen." Well, it is
not exactly my idea, though | freely
admit that the ideal gentlemen" and
gentlewomen should be able to
count generosity among their virtues.
But "man" and woman" are rec
ognized as the proper words, and am
satisfied to be spoken of as a woman,
as is every woman worthy of the name.
The man who insists upon being called
a "gentleman" and the woman a
"lady" are, usually, very far from
being what they wish people to think
they are. The true gentleman and
lady do not trouble themselves about
the matter. Why should they2 Does
true artist care whether he is called a
painter or an artist? Or does the poet
care if he is called a rhymer? If we
are honestly convinced in the depths
of our hearts that we are something of
value, that we have talents or virtues
that should command the respect and
admiration of every one, do we care
to blazon it to the world merely that
we may be called by the name that
best describes those talents and vir-
tues? If we are honest with ourselves
we will say "no," for such blazonry
would prove the meretriciousness OF
such qualities.
Coming up in an Elevated train the
other day the car in which | was SO
fortunate as to get seat was quite
full The majority of the passengers
were men, one woman standing alone,
and young man and woman stand
ing near me, both being French. Nat
urally, seeing SO many men seated
while two women were standing, their
conversation turned upon the differ
ence between French and American
manners.
"There is no civility in America"
the young man said in French to his
companion.
"Then why do you give up your
seat to a lady?" she asked.
81 am not an American" he said
with an air of conscious superiority.
am sorry that he has received such
an impression, but, Of course, do not
agree with him, though | confess | am
often surprised to see fifteen strong,
healthy looking men sit comfortably in
an Elevated car, while one weary
looking woman stands and supports
herself by strap. wonder how men
can see such thing and not rise to
offer her seat. But l forget. They
do not see. Their faces are hidden