The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-07
NODJESKA'S CONFESSION.
SUICIDE CONTEMPLATED IF SHE
FAILED IN AMERICA.

queen in Poland Begging for Trial
in San Francisco-The Victory That
Persistence Won.
The story of my first appearance in San
Francisco, writes Madame Modjeska in the
4rend, has been told in American periodi-
Gals so repeatedly that fear it is hack
neyed, and there is little left for me to say
aboutit. Anarticle in ScribneT'S Monthly,
in 1873 or 1879, almost exhausted the sub
iect. 1t told how Polish actress with her
husband aud son, in company with a few
countrymen, arrived in California in the
fall of 1876, and settled in country place
in the south of the state. The author de-
scribes in a humorous vein the experiences
in amateur farming of the little colony, and
how the artistic temperament of its mem
hers was ill-ftted to meet the everyday
exigencies of a roughing, far-western ranch
life.
I NAV then dismiss the matter by refer
ence to the above article, and only add that
the failure of our arcadiau idylla, connected
with the exhaustion of our material re-
sources, compelled US to exchange our
dreams of peace for new struggle for life
To confess the truth, was rergetting my
artistic career. Not only did | think of it
during the day, but at night dreams of the
theater haunted my couch. 1t was in vain
that | endeavored to divert this monomania
by calling the horses and dogs with names
Of my repertoire, and by reciting the most
effective bits OF my parts to the chickens
and ducks when feeding them. Instead of
assuaging my longing, L only succeeded in
making it more poignant.
Oppressed by this continual brooding, and
having lost my illusions in regard to the
prosperity of our colony. l formed the bold
decision TO go to San Francisco to study
English and try my forces on the American
stage. Hardly was the plan formed tefore
it was put into execution. the additional
Polish Christmas Eve meal was partaken in
Anaheim with our whole colony, but the
New Year 1877 found me already in San
Francisco. There l met several Polish
friends, and in the house of one of them,
Capt. Bielawski, made my first abode.
THE LINGUAL DIFFICULTY.
When 1 communicated my plans to them
they seemed frightened at my boldness, and
their fear acted like cold water on my en-
thusiasm. Icoud speak but few words
of English, and even those were entirely
mispronounced. Several of my Polish friends
had acquired the English language and
spoke it like natives, but then they had
spent twenty years or more in the United
States. One of them had been almost forty
years in this country, understood and knew
the language perfectly, but said "hous-
band" instead Of husband "vyter and al
vise' instead of waiter and always
The example of the "oldn captain was not
encouraging. Why should succeed, where
a man of culture, who had sdent the greater
part of his life here, had failed. At the
bottom of this lack of courage there was the
innate Slovenian diffidence. As far as 1869
two of the most prominent French dramatic
authors, MN. A. Dumas son and Legouve,
had urged me to try my fortunes on the
French stage. | was sorely tempted to do
SO, as | possessed some knowledge of the
language, and it would have been compare
lively easy to complete my study Of it.
That success in Paris could assure repu-
tation through the whole world was well
known to me. But my diffidence was
stronger than my ambition. The apprecia-
ton Of my countrymen seemed to have
satisfied all my desire for glory, and | re-
fused the invitation.
And how, in San Francisco, | had to
deafen my ears to that lurking voice in the
deep recess of my heart, that whispered to
me to "Beware;" however, necessity, which
is the mother not only of invention, but
also of enterprise, stimulated my ambition
and my longing for return to the boards.
Besides, | suppose these misgivings in
herent to my Polish nature were counter
balanced in me to to a degree by dash of
venturesome spirit, the result of some drops
of gypsy blood inherited from Hungarian
grandmother. assumed a calm self-assur-
ance very much in contrast with my inner
most perplexities, and quieted the anxieties
of my friends.
at once began to prepare for my work
BY a singular stroke of good fortune, / hap
pened to meet young lady of Polish ex-
traction but born in America. Miss Tuholsky
spoke excellent English. She con-
enDt.d tO oUa ma q daily laSeOO IF Ona bOr1r
but through her friendliness this hour lasted
the whole day. From o'clock in the morn
ing till o'clock in the evening we toiled
together with hardly an interruption. l
began to study the part of "Adrienne" in
the language which was to be henceforward
my own. After a short time | felt sure
that | should be able to master the tongue
sufficiently to accomplish my self-imposed
task.
SUCCESS OR SUICIDE.
This point being settled in my mind, an
other perplexity began to agitate me-
Shall | succeedg How will my acting be
received by these audiences so strange to
mes l had occasion to see some excellent
actors, as Charles Coghlan, William Flor
encee. and above all, Edwin Booth, whose
performance encouraged me. Dramatic
art as represented by those ex-
ponents appeared to me as being the
same in America as in Europe But
| saw also some bad acting, and its success
frightened me. And then, will not my lack
of familiarity with the language interfere
with my performance? VIII not my for
eign accent, my native information, render
my utterances ridiculous? Shall l be ac-
cepted and recognized, or only laughed at?
How often did | brood over it, looking at
the waves of the beautiful bay of San Fran
cisco, and thinking if l should fail they
would tender me the welcome denied to me
by the inhabitants of this foreign country
Another more urgent and more practical
question arose: How could l obtain an
opening? l had become acquainted during
my first passage through San Francisco in
October, 1876, with John Mccullough, then
manager of the California theater. Mr..
Mccullough had been very courteous to me,
but unfortunately he was absent from
town in the first part of the sum
mer of 1877, when l presented myself
at the theater His place was occupied
by his partner and stage manager
Mr.. Barton Hill. This gentleman had never
heard of me, and simply took me for one
of those ambitious amateurs, whom every
manager meets by hundreds. and whose
opportunities interfere greatly with his
daily business. He always avoided talking
English to me, and answered me in French.
Surprising was lady of society, struck
with strong attack of stage fever, he did