San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1890-02-27

TALKING W JaSAboh SSsA~ss ~ =, -
the dirt under your feet. I'll hev you
to know that the Binghams and the
whittakcrs air rs good families as you
kin find anywhcres. jackson Jefferson
Is quite good enough for that gal OF
yourn, and rs fur bein' poor, I've got
considerable to leave myself; and Ell !
hadn't, his pa Is forehanded, and his ma
has a forty acre farm OF her own. be-
sides stocks. jackson Jefferson can
marry Squire Maltby's darter fur the
askin', and ef was him wouldn't hev
gal that would so round with the back
of her waist split down 30 1t amt decent
when she could patch II with the trail OF
her dress and leave plenty to spare to
trip folks up on
Grandper always kin talk ef he wants
to, and the folks they all jest set and
laughed to hear how good he gave 1t TO
that old gentleman, and he never so
much as answered up, and we couldn't
hear what Jefferson said for the noise;
but he went out, and the young lady, she
Jest tainted dead away. Twas sort OF
sorry for her. But Jane said she was
sure she painted, fur she saw white ON
her nose, and then her pa, he jest walked
about and talked to himself until she
came to, and then he told her she'd got
to marry somebody or other-I forget
names 80 easy that can't tell you who
he was-and she said she'd die fust, and
went onto her knees. Then folks called,
and they all had tea, and nobody SO
much as pulled the shade down, and
some ladies that came they talked, and
q gentleman he made love to the young
lady jackson wanted, and twas real in
teresting, but there warn't no horses nor
no dancing. only after awhile they did
pull the shade down, and the band came
out of the cellar doors and played again.
"Perhaps the theayter will begin now,
says grandper; "but don't SEQ no tight
rope"
But in little while in the band went
again, and the shade went up, and there
was Jackson. 1t didn't look like the
same room, and he said he was jest
home and was tired, and grandper said
cay, ay, you had orter keep early
hours, Jackson"
Then Jackson he said he had the mos
awful presentiments Of suthin another
dreadful, and grandper said:
| @y.Dout fret, my boy. Your ma is well
and the rest of the folkses tolerable."
And then Jackson laid down on the
sofa and went to sleep, and everything
got blue; and there must hev beenSar
organ somewhere playing hymn tune
and there wus somebody peepin' in q
the winder. 1t wus the gentleman tina
had Airted with the low necked girl, ant
there wus two awful tramps with him
Then one tramp says:
"Is that our man, master?
And the gentleman says, "Yes,' ant
told them that he had paid them well
and they must not slight their work.
l thought he was going to have th'
carpets shook, but when the other tramI
said:
"Ay, ay, master! Dead men tell NJ
tales" got skeered, and then the gentle
man went away and the tramps got in a
the winder and came tiptoe down toware
jackson jefferson. And one of 'em tool
out big knife and tho other handker
chuff, and it wus jest as plain rs any
thing they meant to kill him.
Grandper jumped up to his feet again
jackson" he hollers; but Jackson
didn't wake up.
"Jackson!' yells Eben, but he never
stirred, and the tramps were tiptoeine
along.
"Come on, grandper," says Eben.
"Ay, my boy" says grandper.
Jane, she shruck most fearful.
saw grandper rush up the aisle, club
bing his umbrella, and Eben doubling hi,
fist. All the congregation jumped W
and laughed and shrieked, and saw
Eben catch the biggest tramp by his col
lar, and grandper catch hold of the Other
one by his belt, then the shade came
down, and tho band came out of the
cellar doors and played away, and every
body laughed until up went the shade
and out came a stout gentleman with q
bald head, and says he:
Ladies' and gentlemen, allow me tc
entreat your patience. The interruption
caused by misapprehension OH the part
of a venerable guest from the country,
who, carried away by the realism of the
scene, bravely few to the relief of the
hero, shall be but brief. Thanking you
for your courtesy and good feeling,
offer you my apologies and regrets"
Then he cen most turned summerset
bowling, and everybody clapped and
pounded, and the congregation sat down,
and the young man in the tail coat come
fetchin' grandper and Eben to their
seats. Eben was the color of an egg
plant and grandper was like red flannel
all over. Their collars and ties was tore
off and Eben's sleeve was pulled out.
"Come along, gals" says grandper.
EUR my part l side with your aunt
Bingham and the dominic forevermore.
never seen such carryings on, and don't
want to see such ag'in. Ill cut jackson
Jefferson of with a nickel. IF l did
make mistake be might hev said,
Much obliged fur yer good intentions,
grandper,' or Il haven't no need Of as.
sistance, but thank you kindly Instead
of that he called me an old idjut. Now,
amt no idjut. as he'll find out when my
will ia read"
I'll be-" says Eben, "the darndest idjut
goin'. Il was all takin' of, Hammer: but
who wus to know itl It's a massy the
tramp grandper attended to got his
breath agIin or he'd be hung and me. too,
fur all 1 know, fur helpin' him"
The fat gentleman spoke real pretty
about il" says l. Suppose we sit still
now We know it Is takin' off, and see is
oufy-
But they wouldn't. % We all went
Jane was in higbstrikes, and Hammer
.,srt..H the f-ustIe ~ ltulDnade. and the