Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1890-08-18

While he took to teasing, and cruelty toze,
The girl he wished to be squeezing, and squoze
..Wretch,'' he cried, when she threatened to leave
him, and left,
..ITovr could Won deceive me- as you have deceft?"
And she answered, 81 promised to cleave, andI've
cleft"
Some Day.
ssThey'n come back again. she said,
That by gone summer day,
The while we watched the goodly ships
Upon the placid bay.
tThey sail so far they sail so fast upon their shin
ing way,
But they viii come again, know, some day
some other day.
Some day. So many watcher signs,
When wind-swept waters moan,
With tears pressed back still strives to dream
Ofthe glad coming home.
Good ships sail on DER angry waves, meath SKIES
all tempest gray,
For quivering lips so brayely tell, 'IheyH come
again some day"
Some dayl We say it DER and DER,
To cheat our hearts, the while
We send our cherished ventures forth,
Perchance with sob or smile;
And tides run out, and time runs on, our life GIBBS
fast away,
And vet with straining eyes we watch for that
sweet myth-some day!
Full many true and heartsped bark
May harbor find no more,
But Hope her beacon-light will trim
For watchers on the shore;
And those who bide at home and those upon the
watery way,
In toll or waiting, still repeat, "Some day-some
blessed dayl'' Lucy Randolph Fleming.
The man who never smiles is center
of gravity.
To fool with bee calls forth sting
ing rebuke.
Kerosene-On can-Blow up hired girls
for one thing.
Is the man with a shady character any
cooler than other folks?
The best way to raise a smile is to
grasp the mug firmly by the handle and
lift.
When angels are entertained unawares
the entertainment is generally nothing to
brag of.
How do you pay for snake stories, sir?"
he asked as he entered the sanctum. "By
the lyin', 3" replied the editor.
Stranger = / understand the Boston
Transcript is controlled by women. Bos-
tonian-Yes, it tells all the news.
Kaiser Wilhelm now calls himself ''the
man of rock and iron" A little sarsapa-
rilIa added will make fine bitters.
Fond mother-Mercy me! Look at your
face. Were you fighting? Small SON
Nom; but the other boy was.
Papa, said laxative little girl, am
made of dust? No, my child. If you were
you would dry up once in a while.
Razzle-How much did you pay for
that dress suit you had the other evening?
Dazzle-Fifty cents an hour.
Byron is one of the luckiest towns in
the west. 1t has brass band just organ
izen without the means to procure instru-
ments.
The professional singer has to be care
full of what he eats. But he is fond OF
dates, and an encore is usually the fruit
of the palm.
Mr.. Smith Ito neighbours son who is
dining with him. Well, sonny, what
part of the chicken would you like? Boy
The whole of it.
s'Saree, what yo' glib de baby button
to play wild for? Doan yo' know he liable
to swaller it aud xii heself?" Yes; but
done tied string onto it."
Every man should have an aim in life,
but he shouldn't spend too much time IN
aiming The quick shot gets the clay
pigeon when the trap is sprung.
She (reading the paper) cy-
clone out West! 1t has swept dozens OF
farms clear of everything. He'll bet
the mortgages didn't bulge an inch.
Small boy There's one thing in the
Bible sis says she'd like to change. Min
ister-Impossible What can it be, my
young man? Small boy-Her age, sir.
Sunday School Teacher-What can you
say about the moral condition of Sodom!
Pupil-He was a laundering bad man, but
not quite SO bad as his wife, Gomorrah.
And Minnie has made fortune out OF
her piano playing. How did she do it so
that her uncle committed suicide, and she
was his heir, you know.
Jinks-Mr. Spicer, L have found four
dollar bill against you; and / would
Spicer-My dear sir, there is no such thing
as four-dollar bill, and to-day 1 am III
no humor to be trified with.
The best thing about vacation is the
change it brings, said Mr.. Bjenkins, in 6
tone that showed he knew. Yes, assent
ed Mr. Bjones; and the worst thing about
a vacation is the change it costs.
Henderson looks quite like foreign
er since his return from abroad" Eyes
London, and you know he has had corl
leg for some little time"
.'Why does Mr.. Proudfellow act SO i'm
porLant?" "A fellow shot at him the 9th
er day and missed him. His friends con
gratulations make him feel if he had no
been missed he would have been missed
It's very strange that they do not hav'
the bridegroom given away at wedding
the same as the bride Is, remarked Mrs
Trotter. Mr.. Trotter-No need to Civ
him away-he's the one that generall
gets sold.
She-AIbert, L have come to the con
clusion that 1 love George better than
love you, and-He- What about that en-
gagement ring | gave you TO wear? '.Oh
that's all right. George says lie won't OF
ject if l wear it,
Mrs. DePlain-My husband never leave
me for an hour without kissing me
Neighborly Caller-I can readily believ
it. Everybody says your husband is tn
most considerable, unsel6sh, self-sacrifC
ing man that ever lived.
A little Austin boy, whose Impecuniou