The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1890-06-25
WIT AND HUMOR.
Is stiff backbone an Indication of a
afhaoEp Roefo3a Herald


ner when he comes after dinner. Bling
hampton Leader.
s.Avoid whisky and water, my son"
said the fon,' father. 1T is dilution
and a snare. Figaro.
The fortunes of the politician and a
gambler are in the hands of their
friends. Etnaira Gazette.
The wise employe always laughs
promptly when the proprietor makes a
SonlerUille Journal.
Most people look on favor as q
memorandum of where they can ex
pect another -Mils0aukee journal.
She-.'What was the chief feature al
the mass-meeting last EVENING"" He
THE mouth. -Ierre Haute Erpress.
..Beckley and his wife get along
nicely now.' so? Which of them
is dead; he or shep"-Boston Tran
script
He (despairingly)"I wish 1 could
find something to take up my mind. y
She (softly)-''Try blottlng paper."-
Boston Post.
Bronson-s'Who shall decide when
the doctors disagreeP" Johnson-"The
Coroner generally has to do it,
Mst'ssey's Weekly.
He can't get into society. He had
no grandfather, :'And he doesn't
seem to know his grandmother, eth
er."-M. T. Herald.
If you use your eyes to any purpose
you will observe that there are very
i1o,,,,A ftncn
BipghG'ntos, Leader.
A writer says: There is some
things woman dosen't know" There
may be, but no man can tell her wfIat
they are.-M. Y. Ledger.
Householder (o suspicious charac.
ter-.What do you wantp" Suspi-
cious Character (thoughtfully)-"Well
I dunno; what yer got?"-Ltte.
Col. Yerger-"Well. how did you
like that picnicp" Gilhooly-"I was
so glad to get home again that I was
glad l went. ."-1ecas Sittings.
do you think your father likes me ?''
he inquired. 90 yes" she answered.
'.He said he was going to wait up to.
night to see you."-M Y Herald.
Cumso-"Young Gurley is a college
graduate, isn't hep" Fangle-.I think
he mnst be. He doesn't Know what he
is talking about half the time.'-
Epoch.
1--WE changed my mind since l saw
yon last said Galley. II hope the
new one is better than the last, put in
Cynicus, and Galley got mad.-N. Y.
Herald.
You never see the man who dozes in
church going to sleep at a baseball
match. But then there is quite a diff
ference in the style of delivery.-Kon-
kers Statesman.
First Boy-..How do you like your
new teacherP" Second Boy-"He is
not lightning teacher. He strikes
several times in the same place. y
Teras Sytings.
Halworthy (entering late)-"How
long has DR.. Vox been preachingP"
Sexton-"Twenty-two years sir" Hal
worthy-"I guess won't go in then. !"
-Harvard Lanepoon.
why do you go into law? There
are more lawyers than the world can
support now" Il know it. Many
of them must starve. Then will come
my chance. IN. Y. San.
I'm time of peace" said the Major,
Il frequently go to the military balls u
'.And IN times of WARP" THE mill
tary balls come to me. That's how /
lost my leg."-N. y. Herald.
Before we were married you said
you would do your best to make home
happy" 'Well, haven't IP" he in.
quired. 'In what wayP" s.By keep.
ing away from it, Washington Post
Minnie-.And she had the impu.
dence to refer to me as retailer Of
scandal" Mamie-"Well, you are nc
such thing. Everyone knows you
are a wholesaler. ."-Ierre Hdute EG.
press.
Hodge-''The doctor says poor Left
lung is likely to have cold on his chest
all summer!'' Keightley-'L Lucky dog.
I'm afraid mine will be empty, with
ice at the present rate. "-Ameria1s
Grocer.
Yes, 1 was awfully fond of that
but saw something about her last
lIlS SlCh. w Idl
was thatp" Another fellows arm. y
-Bingtantoaa Leader.
Census Enumerator-'.Well, have
finished big days work, and I'm
tired" His Wife-'rm so sorry ]
can't help you. Now sit down. dear,
and tell me all you found out about
our neighbors. IN 7. San.
The average American citizen would
turn his back on the greatest man that
this world ever produced to look at a
pretty 18-year-old girl with new
her chin Soanerville Journal.
Sunday-School Teacher" .Bv their
fruits We shall know them" Tommy
Traddles you may explain what that
means" Tommy-.It means that you
can always tell Dago by his banana
stand. ."-Lda1re'ace american.
Cora = Miss Fussanfeathers' hair
used to be black. l see it has turned
to chestnut. How do you account
for that?" Clara-''I believe she has
been using the funny papers to do her
hair up in. y Yonkers Statesman.
Would any shock at this stage of
tAOoOiO SauoS ACitpSc,
inquired the patient. Yes and a Sc
rious one." please. then, doctor, to
remember that important fact in MAX
ing out your bill. ."-Fliegende Blatter.
Mr.. Phileas Fogg Gin the West-'I
suppose you met with a great many
hardships out here on the plains?''
Lariat Luke-'.Hardshipsp l should
say SO! Why, pard, I've sometimes
been obliged to chaw smokin' terback-
eri"-Puck.
Briggs-'I understand Jackson has
entered into matrimonial partner
ship with rich widow, hasn't hep
Braggs-'O, it is hardly a partner
ship; it would be more correct to say
that he is retained on a salary. ."-Terre
Hdstte EGpress.
"How soon do you start on your
talked-of trip to Europe?' Il had to
give it up" why so?n Because
my wife went and ordered a bonnet
for the voyage. and when the mil
liners bill came in it took all my mon
Light.
Mr.. Bliffers-'Beg pardon, Mr..
Hammer, but can you tell me where
my wife is seated? l can't find her.
t