davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Hermanner Volksblatt. [volume] (Hermann, Mo.) 1875-1928, 1890-12-12
Srou q. 9sarcp tpurbe aeitern inqon.

0tuu ~. PtRiS9 tuuIut HtIieIH thSuH,
ben Der @rmorouns bef5rnu5oss i6ul-
big befunben uab gum lobe perurtbeilt.
Der Gar fat e,nenufus erfaffen, iuos
bnr6 bic 8ei6ditisuns BON 6iterreibis
i9en gtrbeiteru in Rusfano, intuobl in
ben Snbrifen ats 5ur arbeit auf benz
2anoe, rnteriust miro. Die entlaifenen
9lrbeit.r rperben in G9aaren BON 9au>
ienoen mad Der 0ftsrrei6iiden @rense
sel9nft.
Sn Snperneslbire iuurben seitern
1tn9 MJiterna6t mebrere itarfegrof6Be
ueripirt, Die BON einem bumpfen Stolen
inter Der grbe besleitet iuaren. Die
GiHwUbner lober entiest aus ben Sdu.
fern unb 6erubisten ii9 erft pieosr, ais
feline iueitereu St6Be erfolsteu.
SnfUfse Der @rmOrouns bes ruiii6en
Generals unb 8pliseibeamten Gclipers,
fpff lit Die iuteruationale 8olijei &uB'
lambs i'll Baris, 2onbou, Berlin, @eni
uno anberen5 tdbtelr, roo iid piete &ufer
~aufBaltcn, bebeutenb ~uerltdrft iporoeu.
8ic befannt iuirb, bat Die italienii6t
8tsieruns benz &6nts Wenelef cine
Miliun 5raacs 9esablt, bamit -er biz
gteutralitdt in benz &rie9e beiuabre. Der
Stalieu u,it benz &6nis Sobaun bon
GbDiiinien fi6rte.
Su einem 8eri9te oes britii6en @e'
neralconiuls iperbcn 4usmanoerunsss
lu1tise 9eiuarnt, Uruguay su ibrem 3ielt
5u errudbleu, Of ie MIN Sanolanser.
Gderbauer ooer Sanbwerfer ieien. Sis
piirben, Iast err niht i'm Stanoe iein
Hermanner Volksblatt. [volume] (Hermann, Mo.) 1875-1928, 1890-12-12
Aemanner DoIksb latt

sSn eitem 8riefe on Die nSa. Stsdts."
pertbeitis iid 9Ouis Sdabe, Der be'
fannie Serausseber hes @aibinstoner
Sentinel" ener3iid sesen ben Iortuurf
Der 81. 9. etsSts.", bob er MIR besbalb
Glepelanb befdmpfe, neil bieier ibnn
fein @mt seseben babe. gr ersablt:
ais @lepefuub sum 9rdfibenten ses
tpdblt mar, tuinidten Senator 8aparo,
Gprsber Carlisle, 8iceprdi ibent 9eno<
rids, Die GrsSenatoren Thurman unb
Mc0pnnlb, Senntor gorbees, Der DC
seoronete SOlman, unc cine srOBe Gns
sabl anberer bernorrasenber 9emotra>
ten, baB i9 als alter Democrat III Der
8unbesbauptItabt, in wel9er ib idun
10 lnn9e ipObne, cine amtli6e Stellun9
e~innebmen ioqte, unb stpar Die bes
y&eeorberS", pelde friber ein beut'
ider 8eputllfarer (Simpn 8olf) Q
Sabre lang befleibet bate. Serr Otz
%tenborfer bur6 0uei Griefe, iOipie &it<
ter StaIO, @Ouu. &Grner, 8oup. MhQer,
u. 6. Seiins (iuel@sr fir staaO unb
mid mad .@aibinston fam), Inton
gidbuH, Sol. Srieori9 &aine, eriu9ten
ben 8rdiioenten ~ebenfuas, benz 9euti9-
tbum in meiner 9eriou bieie Gniteluns
5u seben. 9c9 Elm unbsfannter Ne9er
murbe Dem alten beutI9en 3emofraten
por9esosen." 9eHno6 lei er (s9uoe)
fir Gleuclanb wieber in's 3eu9 se9ansen
unb er babe benielben io9ar peri6nli4
eriu6t, i'll ielnem acknowledgement
ettuas iber perl6nli9e 5reibeit 81 lusen,
mas gleueluuo befanmtli9 nidt that.
ngs mare ein Qrmutps5eusniB fir bic
oeutide 8reiie" aliO iGlieBt Sdabe,
uno bamit bat ct 8edt, - vtpenn Nies
manb mebr ieine peri6nli6s ueber5euss
un9 ausipre6eu biirfte, o9ne bafir Der
ftmubi9iten Selbftintereiien se5ieben
peroen."
Hermanner Volksblatt. [volume] (Hermann, Mo.) 1875-1928, 1890-12-12

Die relle Yartei Der Sarmers 9ai=
ans felt ~tpOrl6sli6 nod iuabniinnisere
5orberungen, als es Die SrO6ibitionz
iiten jemals 9etban Baben. Sn Sprins<
feb I'M Slaate Sqinois babcu iid Die
Serrcn Sarmer, bic ii6 bort ,6armcrs
Mutual Benefit giiociation nennen, auf
folsenoes nette Gro0ramm ~9eeinist:
r@dbreno tptr fir Den llnteridabz
ants pier 2a9srbauss8lan nidt einsez
npmmen iinb, Der bonn 5armersbunb
uno bon Der Snbuitrial Union por9es
idlasen iuir6, liHb mir bafiir, baB Die
Re9iermas ibren 8ir9eru @elb leibt,
uno Sfuar in Suulmeu bon ni6l iiber
$1,000 oil jeOeH ciu5elnen Sirger, auf
aidt mebr als fiinf Sabre nnb 9eSen
@runoei9entbumsz Sderbeit, iuenn bic
geliebene Summe ni6t $1,000 uno bic
3~ablun9siriit nidt ein Subr iiberlteist;
in olen anoercn 6dllen gegcn ausre:.
denbe periDnlide Si6erbelt. 81 nidt
mebr als 4 Broccnt 3lnien, 5ablbar
balbidbrlid."
9ieie 5Orberun9 lit 10 be1cr @nbn.
finn, oaB es 9anS iiberfliiiis crideitt,
fe ju wioerlc9eu. Wiit bisisr nclien
8artei lit IS uffeH6ar uidts. 9rOb
'ibrer arpBen grful9e bel ben lestcn
Boblen, Die u~llerbir9s nur i3ufalls=
grfulse Iinb, miro Die glIian5 balb
ibrer 8Or9dn9eriu, Der @rauser>Yartei,
na9fOl9en. 8emertenstuertb lit babel
eisentli9 nur, baB Die ameritaniiden
Bauerll, ubne es ielbit 81 i%uiiien, INNER
mebr ii6 benz ipcialiitiiden Yrpsramm
rtdheru.
Hermanner Volksblatt. [volume] (Hermann, Mo.) 1875-1928, 1890-12-12
u.b,r bic aIsHs. aas aatsrnssI.r.

aiatf6mduIer fias en- b5ies Ding.
Ole Sraue,f ME bic g2Gnuer;
limb baB ibr S@aber Hint seriHs
Wetb ieoer Wenf@entenner.
Sie timraeru fi&. ma ihr re treftt
meiif uiIr UNI anb'rer 2firt' @eiGSft,
nnS ieltea INN eas eia'nel
Die grauen tIatiden ni9t aIIeiu,
Qu6 ni@t elurual am meiften :
go MdI6er, Der Elm g1eH nil iein
Ebut piei borin ia leiieM.
6at Elm gottfrdfi6'S 2dferuIauI.
ST aud i'm 8iati4en gar MOT faui,
nnh rati4t pie'n nItes Bai4weib.
Da mirb elm ieSer 9ebsnmsnf&
Beipronen unh betritteIt:
SER q. 1T pieI ~ wetteruenbf&!
WeSbaIb ben Ropf nan f4ltteIt
Su fIoIrrneH SorH. Der befe geanH!
Isle fommt's has &C ui&t bleiben farm
Sci ieiuer frau sH 9apie7s
Ser 9. Der sudt tein Babel an,
1lnb firdtet fu9 DOT Stauen.
SD Jag en6 9eute, 10 mem Htcnn
8ann tan erft re9t ni&t trouen!
SD nett, bab Der fi9 rtur perRent,
limb trsenbrDo Elm Dusene bdlt
&ie'n ri6ti9er Rcrnone!@
Ser 6. Der irast per Iauter Gel,
Gid fdum r1ebr lott ~ efen;
Ri6ts oils ieiu gelb bot fir i'm &etj,
Sann's balb nit S1efeln niefien!'
SER .. Der 1T elm rt@ter Pump,
Beriauft iein gelb nHo ltbt ouf Bump,
llnb ipart' nod ME 'nsn Gouur!"
SER S. Der ipieIt ben fromuie1 RanH
limb aebt ;ur 9irGe fietia;
Wie er ii@ nur 70 fteIeu fdnui
Der bat es uokI ebr H6tbia!-
Der Z. 9tbt in BITE BIRDIE mel
SD tann es ni9t btsreifen, wte
tin Wteni9 70 eottlos fein Tamil!
r@us fibrt Der 9. firm srssss 9auB,
unb Idbt's on ni&ts je feslsnt
Gem sebt has getb Ia nien1cIs aus
Dim Gnoe tbut er's ffebleni~
,Sebt MIR Sen Te.i 1er itn gut teHnt,
@eib, bas Ct aussiebt t.inen Gent,
llnb 1T ein re9ter Snauierl"
,,@as bsntt ibr pon benz longen Bt1l
Gr lit ;u faul gum S@afeH,
llnb iist on, liebten INNER flu.
limb tbut Gi9arren patient
Der Sob Der f6aft fi9 f9ier III lob.
limbs thut bel ibm bod sar ni@t nott,
gr i9offt uie'n alter gisl!I
Ger Sim Isbt l9Ie9t nit ieiner Grau
90 iasen ole 2eute!
Gle i9lassn fib bic sfusen tIan
8ei ieoem iteueu Streitel~
Bel Wiiaer's mib't man laden taIt!
Die 2eute fnb bod f&on 70 clt,
llno tbun nod ME 9erIiebtt-
Ser GbarIep iGufi, bab eB ne 9aanb,
Drum au9 bic rotbe Raie!
Gr iist, has 1T ia aIbefannt,
Die babe Ra@t bei'm gIafei-
Ser Sris, bas alte RurmsItbier!
Gr 9onnt fid feiren S9oppen Ster,
lln6 elm @las @ein erit re@t ni&tI'
rSie 2i;;ie lit tets a~ufsepuet
gBober tbut bie'S nur nebmen2
Gtets oufSebonnert unc QeHutt,
Gle lout' iib pirtIi9 i1dmenl"
Die Saup--pfui bod, Iiebe Qeut'i
Die trug nod nie ein eutts SIeib,-
'Ne re9te atte S1lampe!-
90 sebt IS iiber aue Der,
'9ten Seben unb ne Sebe;
Man l9inpft auf uns bic 4reu; unb Gu.
60 oft pon Inns bic 8ebe.
SIT GaBerf ionberbar eB niGt,
Oab Sober 10 germ goles fpri9t
Bon ieinen Hebenmeni9en2
3 tbut es ni4t! Bibt ibr ni4ts CUTS
Bon irsenb @em ;u ipredsn,
gap penisitens DOH gbelmutbS
Die Sebler unb Gtbre6en
Den lelben au9 psrsefen iein,-
uno mo9' ein Sober M aliein
Boz ieiner Sbiire tebrenl
Hermanner Volksblatt. [volume] (Hermann, Mo.) 1875-1928, 1890-12-12

3iemarb fam ell freunbli6es @eii9t
MAIDEN uab leinen Beiud nnsenebm
unterbalteH, iuent einen, bas 5ahniueb
pioat; ieoo1 1T bieies l1ebel bdIb bur9
ben Gebrau1 bon Goluation Del bes
ieitist. grei3 rs gts.
Srnu Soitor Bfddfuel, YarborDusb
Souie, &aleis9, g.. g., i9reibt uns
sd babe Or. 8ra's Suiten SDrup
BEL meiiten &inbern, BET nieiren Sienifs
bDten ilub BEL mir ielbit o~iseiunnbt, uno
fddse jpn gplbes iperth."
Hermanner Volksblatt. [volume] (Hermann, Mo.) 1875-1928, 1890-12-12

Gin mfeblbarcs Rittel sesen 2eber<,
Rasen- unb @ierenleiben finb Or. Gus.
&5nis's Sdmburser 3ropfen.
Hermanner Volksblatt. [volume] (Hermann, Mo.) 1875-1928, 1890-12-12
Qeine Sriluug, Seine Sesabluus.

@s lit cine redt itrense 8riifun9 Der
@ei9idlidfeit irsenb zines 9oftors,
lvenn Die SeSabluaa ieiner @ebibren
oaopn abbdn9lg 9enladt iuirb, baB er
leiner 8atienten Beilt. limb bod, nadz
benz ie piele Sabre lang Die Galienbe
bon iuunoerbaren Seilungeu beobaftet
baben, iuel6e bur9 DR.. Pierce's Col
den Medical Discovery teipirlt tpurz
ben, fiblen iid feline 6abrifanien Re.
rebtist, es. wie iie es jett bur6 ale
Gpotbefer auf Der 9auSelt @elt tbun,
unter GeI6eini9uns elmer poIitipen @ar,
autie 81 %pertaufen, baB eS entiueber BON
Rusen fem, ober beilen ipirb in ieoem
8ranfbeitsfall, fir Den le CO empfeblen,
faQs es bel iSeiten ein9enummer rnb
Orbentli6 prubirt ipirb, ODER bas bafir
beSablte @elb prompt juriidseseben
,uirb. 9rdsbeit Der 2ebcr pber y8ili0e
ftdt", mreines Slut, Soutausldllge,
frupbuIDie @unben unb Nni6pellun9en
S6winoindt %. /. Sfrupbuloie Ser
2unsen), ollie iueiden ppr bieier ipnr.
b%erpoIen Mebi5in Suriid. Gs lit bei=
oes, belebeno poer neuc &raft 9ebeno
uuo olterirenb poer blutreini9eno.
Hermanner Volksblatt. [volume] (Hermann, Mo.) 1875-1928, 1890-12-12

Gidts lit cine before Birsi4aft FIR
bic 8ur5ii9lidteit bon Or. 8u1's Sufeu
Sprup, Gig bic gmpfebluns eeH.lben
BON allen 4potbesern.
2aB Dir in Seit ratbeu! aie bdafs
fommt es Dor, baB Elm llnfau I'M Sauie
paiirt! Gin Sal ober Stob, cine
Sduitt, Ober 8ranbnunbs, uno baxk
iidteiner 81 belfen. Gesbalb talte
eine Slai1e @alpatipn Del i'm Sauie
uno on braudit bid nidt su iorsen.
Hermanner Volksblatt. [volume] (Hermann, Mo.) 1875-1928, 1890-12-12

@eipidt unb Rabe iuie fe in Geli.
iouri nad ben Staotsseiesen o~serlssai
fperoen. 8eiSen, Bobnen, 3lee.sanen
unb aartoffsln, lie 90 Bfunb per Buisl.
8ossen, seiddltes 4ort urb SlaGs.
Saamen, ie Sc 8funb per Huibei.
l1nncih6ltea &nrn Is Rfh- n RMf
Hermanner Volksblatt. [volume] (Hermann, Mo.) 1875-1928, 1890-12-12

Sem SrUf. Sod Der bur9 feline Gr=
finbuns Der 9ciluu9 Der G6tuinbiudbt
nit Hedt III Der adn5eu @clt beriiblat
uub bod)9eCbrt 1T, ipirb lein Gubm
ni9t ses6nnt. @ie Der 9ariier
,9emps" beridtei, erbebt eiu Srpf.
Gnnuel 9irun, Doctor Der Webisin
in 8bilabelpbia, ben Iniprud, Der
luirflide Grinder Der Smpfunsametbu-
Be CUR 9eiluns Der auuseni6lpinOiu6t
az iein. Gr b~ehauptet, feline grfin-
brng, oer6ffentlidt ullo elm @remplar
feiner Gbriit oil Or. &p6 ecianbt su
baben, Der Damn feline Sbee bieIer
Ber6Hentliduns entlebrt babe. Or.
DiSon iest feline &eriu6e OIL alIcn Der
SHtpinointts uusseiesten Gbieren fort.
Bis jest fat er, iuie CT bebauptet, feinen
Miberfols sebabt. Wiit benz Guberfel>
baeinus beboftete MeerI9peinden Ieien
bnt1 giniprisuns ieines fliiiisen
1eittels sebeilt ipOrben. 9es iueiteren
teAonptet, .tpte bns nGmlide 8latt
s.ittbeili, Yrof. SdrOter in @ien,
uDIffdnbis ~upabbdnsis BON ben 1surs
fdjunsert Rods ein Seilunssueriabren
fir bic 2unseni6iU1nbiu9t entbeft su
hoben. SIN Der nd4Iten Sisuua Der
seebiiiniIden Geieaidaft in @ien be-
ebftfiat er, feline Metbpbe bolifdnbia
barsrleseu. Man min tpifien, baB in
Der WiIGurg bes 9eilmittsls, beiien
fh bebient, gpantuaieritofidure
BAT.
Hermanner Volksblatt. [volume] (Hermann, Mo.) 1875-1928, 1890-12-12

Gbronlider gtaicnfatarrb bsitimnlt
gebeilt eurd DR. Sage's Remedy. so
Gents, in Qppt6efen.
Hermanner Volksblatt. [volume] (Hermann, Mo.) 1875-1928, 1890-12-12

Sur In DriairaI. Sadeten. qrsis, % Gents. SIN
cnen Apotbefen III baber, ooer ipirb rodb etnpfdns
beS 9etrdges r c | %perianet. mean oS%reiitre:
CHARLES A. voeELER CO.. Baltimore. Nd.
Hermanner Volksblatt. [volume] (Hermann, Mo.) 1875-1928, 1890-12-12

8pt1a, no, II. @prit, 1890.
2tls Gin unibertrefliGes Mitttl seser
grfdltunsen unb Seiitrfeit sie6t es ni6ts
beGeres wte Or. @usut 8pnis's San1-
turser Sruftbee ME t6 bdufs f6cn @e,
lessnbeit bate ;a erprpbsn. - Sriuletn
Mdria Anna Sunfe.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-06-25
The Bare Foot and the Sleeping Car.

All at once on board of sleeping
car at late hour one evening
a slender foot and ankle clothed
only in a Isle thread stocking and
pink garters shot out from between
the curtains as we rounded a curve.
Fearing that another lurch might
throw the proprietor of said limb
clear out Of the berth looked out of
the window for some little time, but
looked back directly, hoping, yet fear
ing.
You cannot understand how the
silence fell upon our party. We
broke off in the middle of story and
no one spoke. The road was very
rough and we all waited for another
lurch of the train.
Men on the car had quit reading
and playing cards and were more
wakeful than they had been before.
A middle-aged lady touched the ex-
tended foot very gently, but it didn't
recoil. Then she took hold of, it with
the idea of replacing it inside the
curtains, | presume. Anyway at that
moment the car gave wild twist,
Jared the teeth in my head and
knocked everybody off his or her pins
as the case might be. 1t threw
strangers together in friendly way
and mixed up people so that the por-
ter had to identify them by their
berth checks and strawberry marks.
1t was at this moment the middle-aged
and kind-hearted woman, whose name
l did not know, sat down in my lap
and in her hand she held u beautiful
cork leg, with the straps Of which she
involuntarily welted me over the head.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-06-25
before applying the brakes. He
found that they would not work.

peioie applying the brakes. lie
found that they would not work.
The speed of the train was moment.
ary increasing. 1t shot along preci-
pices where there was sheer decline
of thousands Of feet on one side and
wall Of rock OH the other. II ratified
over bridges spanning deep gorges,
and whizzed around curves where
engine and rear sleeper almost met
across the chasn. Day was just
breaking. Most of the passengers
were sleeping. A few, however, were
awakened by the terrific breakneck
speed Of the train and were terror
stricken. In one Of the Pullman
sleepers a woman struggled with the
conductor in an effort to throw her.
self overheard. The engineer revers-
ed and vainly tried to stop the
momentum. He whistled again and
again, and aroused sleepy brakeman
who threw his strength upon one of
the hand brakes. 1t snapped like a
straw, and it was afterward found
that the wheels had torn the brakes
to pieces as soon as they touched it.
Finally the train shot into a portion
of the road where there was a level
space to the left, while to the right
was descent of 1900 feet. At this
place it jumped the track, fortunately
on the left side. Strange to say, al
though the train must have been run
ming fully 70 miles an hour, not one
person was killed, though the coaches
were badly wrecked. One woman was
seriously but not fatally hurt.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-06-25
The Thrilling Mountain Descent Of a
Train.

Southern Pacific officials have sup
pressed until a few days ago, one Of
the most thrilling accidents that ever
happened on their line. A passenger
train of ten coaches, of which three
were Pullman sleepers, was on its way
east from San Francisco. 1t slowly
climbed the mountain to Tehachapi
pass, "plsher" being used. When
the summit is reached there is a sharp
descent, the grade of some points drop.
ping off 200 feet to the mile. 1t is
customary before starting on this
downward journey to give the air
brakes thorough testing, but it
would appear that this was not done,
or if IL was, the apparatus met with
an accident soon after leaving the
summit. The engineer permitted the
train to attain a high rate of speed
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-06-25

DE Smith, saw you kiss Miss
Southmayd, last night
Travis (blushing)-Did you That
is unfortunate
DE Smith-She seemed rather re-
luctant.
Travis-Well, yes to tell the truth,
she SAID no to me with her lips.
De Smith-But her eyes said -
Travis-I thought they said yes.
DE Smith-Of course And the
eyes had it.-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-06-25

The Old Man Was in Dou bt.-Mr.
Figg-"What have you been fighting
about this time, sirf" Tommy-"One
of the fellows said l was a bigger
fool than my father. Hadn't l ought
to a licked him? ?" Mr.. Figg-"Why
of course. That is to say-oh, get
along out Of here and tell your moth
er to wash your face. e."-Terre Haute
Express.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-06-25
WIT AND HUMOR.

Tenderfoot--Say, mister, how fal
does your claim extend
Squatter-As far as | kin shoot
Yankee Blade.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-06-25

On the stage. Servant-Madame,
the marquis is without and desires an
audience. Star actress (surveying a
nearly empty house)-"So do r.
America.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-06-25

Explained.-"What makes Jack
son look so awful sober this morning.
Because he was awful drunk last
night. Epoch.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-06-25

Who swore hot oaths, and shook
his fist, and showed me all the bills
I'd missed, then put me on the black
list? My tailor.-Philadelphia Re-
cord.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-06-25

The largest greenback in existence
is of $4,000 value, and it is the only
one of its kind. AT present it is not
in our possession.--Martha' Vine
ward Herald.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-06-25

The same, yet different.-Ted-
'His is a singular absence" Ned
"Plural, you mean. He ran off with
another fellows wife.-Life.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-06-25

Sounded well.-Minister-"What
is your business, may ask ?" Horse
iockey-"I am in the service of the
American Track Society."-Boston
Herald.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-06-25

She-Why do you call me your
honey, Charley?
He-Because, my dear, you are
made up of so many little sells.-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-06-25
O. |. PARTRIDGE.
Real Estate Agent

Rooms 4, 5, Dawson Block.
Win take charge OF estates for residents and non.
residents collect rents, pay taxes place insuranes
obtain abstracts Of title, etc.
Office hours-10 to 12A. NJ, 4to6P.M
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-06-25

Shoe dealer (to young widow who
is hauling over pile of ladies slippers,
Are you looking for number two,
ma am?
Young widow (blushing)-Yes,
sir. Are you an unmarried man =
Burlington Free Press.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-06-25

An inquiry. LADY, will take
those striped stockings.
Clerk-Yes; thank you Miss, shall
we send them 3?
Have you a hose cart Puck.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-06-25

Knew it was no use. He-Keep
quiet minute, and I'll catch that OBJ
noxious fly.
She-Oh, don't try to, please. |
saw you playing ball yesterday.-N.
Y. Sun.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-06-25

Corrupting inhuence.-The minis
ter-"Johnny, are you good boy p
Johnny-"No, but l was before your
little boy moved into the neighbor-
d."-Van Dorn's Magazine.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-06-25

Life's ups and downs. you're not
looking we'll" "No, I'm used up"
"What ails you ?" 81 am broken
down."-Chicago Evening Post.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-06-25

Wrong in the number. Bellows
Let me congratulate you on your re-
cent marriage, old fellow; you have
got number one wife.
Fellows (of Cbicago)-You are
wrong; I've got wife number g.
Epoch.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-06-25

A romantic young woman in Kan
sas wrote her name on an egg, and in
a few weeks she had an ova-ture for
marriage from a Brooklyn grocer. 1t
is supposed his proposal read "Shell
we bear the matrimonial yolk?"--Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-06-25

A famous artist once painted an
angel with six toes. "Who ever saw
an angel with six toes ?" people in
quired. "Who ever saw any with
less ?" was the counter question.-N.
Y. Ledger.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-06-25

After Her.-She enthusiastically
"Oh, George! don't you think the
greatest joy in life is the pursuit of
the good, the true and the beautiful ?"
He-"You bet F.! that's why am here
tonight. Huntington Free Fress.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-06-25

A reasonable explanation. Brush
ly-It's awfully annoying, Mary
Just as | am getting in the last touch,
es oil the canvass the blamed cat has
to have fit.
Mrs. Brushly-Perhaps she caught
glimpse of the picture, dear.-Judge.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-06-25
MICHIGAN CENTRAL
"The Niagara Falls Route"
Time Card in Effect.

Daily. I Daily except Sunday Parlor car on
day trains and sleeping cars on night trains.
The direct line 20 Niagara Falls, Buffalo, New
York. Boston, Toledo, Chicago, Cincinnati and the
South, st. Louis and the Southwest.
Through tickets TO all points in the United States
and Canada. Steamship tickets sold to all Euro
pean points, via the Cunsrd, Allan and Hamburg
lines.
J. WHITING, Ticket Agent.
o.w. RUGGLEs, G. T. & T. Agt.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-06-25

Then there's no use of my asking
you to be my wife, because you'll be
sister to me anyhow.-New York
Sun.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-06-25

Saving his proposal. He-Are you
going to marry my brother?
She-Yes,
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-06-25
Detroit, Bay City & Alpena R.R.

Mail and Accom- Mall and Accom-
Express. mediation. Express. modaton'