Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1890-12-04
WHY / co ABROAD.

Were Against Me.
shall both pray and sleep the better
tonight If prick my thoughts with the
point Of my pencil.
In the first place, was old enough to
know better. But, alas, for the great
blank wall Of the mystery Of things!
AS | write find it impossible to de-
eide which emotion takes precedence
pity for myself or rage at her. BY Her"
| mean my wife. have one. 1t will
be "she" and ''her" between US now and
forevermore, until can learn the lesson
OF forgiveness. II | am slightly inco-
herent pardon 1t in man who has had
his very soul sandpapered.
Friend. were you ever invited TO de-
liver lecture? Did You prepare it in
an uplifted state amounting TO inspira-
toni Did you round its periods with
laughter and with tears? If so you will
understand
am quiet man. l live in quiet
town. Hitherto have been highly re-
spected. My wife is considered nice
little woman, and have shared in this
popular opinion-until now. She is not
nice and. Furthermore she does not be-
long to the aristocracy of brains.
was invited week since TO lecture
tonight on "NTaterialisin." had never
been invited to lecture before. | had
my ideas on lectures aud lecturers. |
always nave had them. As rule had
concluded that they lack elaboration.
Their flow of words is not regulated
properly to produce the desired effect.
Their gesticulations are too violent and
generally ill suited to the ideas intended
TO be illustrated by them.
Unused ON all these things. wrote
my essay; memorized it.
As man himself weaves the web which
hides from him the stars. so | myself
planned my own undoing.
The night came. The audience came.
| placed ''Her," Ms. in hand, upon a
three legged stool in the wings-as my
prompter. My instructions were to
closely follow me in all my remarks, and
at any appreciable pause to prompt me
in several whispered words bow could
dream in what manner those instruc-
tons should be abused? then walked
forth upon the stage of our town opera
house. Thus unsuspectingly walk men
ever to their doom.
Alasl Ny lecture intended for a solo
deliberate quickly merged into duet
duet allegretto-stacotto
After coughing deliberately looked
my audience firmly in the eye and told
this lie:
lowing 10 short notice as regards nv
subject / have only been enabled TO ar
range few main points-pegs--on
which TO hang the drapery of few ram
bling ideas"
As this little overture was not in the
MS. had the pleasure of hearing three
times from the wings during its recital
the whispered words ''msterialism is"-
which were, l hasten 10 state. the two
first words Of my lecture proper.
Immensely amused and thinking what
good laugh we should enjoy over it
later, fastened to begin.
''Materialism is good sauce. but a
poor meat
had tiattered myself that my opening
sentence was impressive and wished to
accentuate it by thrilling pause, but
was not allowed that pause.
From the wings issued quickly the
first words of my next sentence:
Above the
Above the lights of our city" ejacu-
lated l hastily with whitening glance
at the wings, lies the
Darkness" from the Wings
Darkness" repeated l, stamping vio-
lently TO catch her eye and attempting
miserable man another pause. 1t was
not to be. A warning voice distinctly
enunciated:
Yet
Yet added In piteous despair and
perforce in louder accents, above and
beyond that darkness lie the
stars" from the wingsi-
STARS roared | in u rage. Let us
hope the gods helped me to preserve the
emotions of that moment a dead secret
rs far as the audience was concerned.
1.-The world" from the wings)-
"The world is strange salad no
pause, no hope, in u breathless race we
enunciated another strangely spoken
sentence
The sleeping child in each nature
once awakened-may never be lulled to
sleep again." we ratified at breakneck
speed.
This whole sentence cast. as it were.
its shadow before in a weirdly shrill
whisper from the wings. Drenched in
perspiration, glaring wildly even as a
mailman, ! stood. Placidly, serenely she
sat upon her stool, dimly discernible to
my distracted vision. A boy in the front
seat Uttered Historically. An epidemic
of tittering followed
And so on unto the very end. No rest.
no hope. Ever urged at gallon by the
admonishing voice. My lecture resolved
itself into race, in which | finally re-
sorted to believing in order to cheat my
self into the belief that my audience was
stone deaf to any other tones than my
own.
recall with tear my closing SEN
tence, intended TO be uttered in a reflect
i've whisper. In last despairing effort
1 struggled to give it that effect. The
result was this:
And so--we do not understand. We
cry aloud
(Voice-Let there be Light
let her say it. 1t was all over. III
had repeated it the audience would have
heard nothing. The din was terrible
led by the boy in the front row. III
ever meet that boy. AS / walked
home through the rain after depositing
her in our carriage reelected. II seemed
to me that there would be strange and
weird coziness about coAin--s coffin
for one.
But then nothing makes much differ
ence now. ! sail next week.-Detroit
Free Press.
Proof Positive.
Mrs. Hillaire-Are you sure that this
Ia or1Q Of th.. .1I