The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1890-10-08
THE GRAVES SECRETS.

Ihad loved her so madlyl Why does
one lover How odd that from a certain
moment one sees in. the world but one
being, In the heart but one desire, on
the lips but one name. name which
rises necessarily, which rises from the
depths Of the soul like water from its
source, which rises to the lips, and which
one says, which one repeats, which one
murmurs continually everywhere like q
prayer.
/ will tell you our story. Love has
but one, always the same had met
and loved her. That is all And had
lived for yearsin her tenderness, in her
arms, in her caresses, in her looks, in
her robes, in her words, enwrapped,
bound, imprisoned in everything, that /
did not know whether l was dead OF
alive, on the old earth or somewhere
else.
And then she died. How? do not
know; at least no longer know.
She came home wet one rainy night,
and the next day she was coughing. She
coughed for week and then took to her
bed.
What happened no longer know.
Doctors came, wrote, went away.
They brought remedies; a woman made
her drink them. Her hands were hot,
her forehead burning and damp, her look
glittering and sad. | spoke to her; she
answered me. What did we say to each
other? no longer know. have for
gotten everything, everything, every
thingi She died. remember very well
her little sigh-her little sigh so weak
the last. The nurse said, "Ahp UNI
derstood, understood.
knew nothing more. nothing. Isaw
priest who uttered these Words ssYouf
sweetheart" It seemed to me he insult
ed her. She being dead no one had
any right to know that. l dismissed
him. Another came who was very good,
very gentle. wept when he spoke to
me Of her.
They consulted me about thousand
things in connection with the funeral
know no more. Still, remember very
well the coffin, the noise of the hammer
when they nailed her in it. Ali my
God.
She was buriedl Buriedl Shell In
that holel A few persons had come
friends. Invent away. ran. A long
time walked the streets. Then went
home. The next day ] started on a
journey.
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When / saw my room again, our
room, our bed, our furniture, this whole
house, In which was left all that remains
Of being after its death, was seized
with such violent renewal of sorrow
that came near opening the window
and throwing myself into the street.
Unable longer to live In the midst of
these things, of these walls which had
contained her, sheltered her and which
must keep in their imperceptible assures
o thousand atoms of her, of her flesh
and Of her breath. took my hat to go
away. Suddenly, just before reaching
the door, passed by the large mirror in
the vestibule, which she had placed there
in order to view herself from head to
AVVt oNDt ~ toJ 10 BIO Woub ootS W bco II
her entire toilet was correct and pretty,
from her boots to her hair.
And stopped short in front of this
mirror which had so often reflected her.
So often, so often. that it must have pre-
served her image.
There l stood, erect, quivering, with
eyes fixed on the glass, ON the fat,
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tanned her entirely, possessed her as l, as
my passionate look had possessed her. It
seemed to me that loved this glass;
touched it; it was cold. Oh, the mem
oryI the memoryi Mournful mirror,
burning mirror, living mirror, horrible
mirror, which causes one to suffer all
the torturesl Happy the man whose
heart, like glass across which reaec-
tons glide and disappear, forgets all
that it has contained, all that has passed
before it, all that has contemplated and
admired itself in its affection, in its Lowell
How suffered
l went out, and In spite Of myself,
without knowing 1t, without wishing 1t,
/ went toward the cemetery. l found
her very simple tombstone, marble
cross with these few words upon it. "She
loved, was loved and died"
She was there, beneath, decayingi
How horriblei I sobbed, my forehead
on the ground
There l remained long time, very
long time. Then / perceived that the
night was coming on. Then a strange,
mad desire, the desire Of desperate
lover, seized me. Iwished to pass the
night beside her, last night, in weep
ing over her grave. But l should be
seems and driven away.
What was / to dor resorted to
strategy. / rose and began to wander
about In this city Of the disappeared.
On and on / went How small this city
Is beside the other, that Of the living.
And yet how much more numerous than
the living are these dead For us, the
four generations who live In the sun
light ct the same time, drinking the
water Of the springs and the wine of the
vineyards and eating the bread Of the
fields, much room is needed, high houses,
wide streets.
And for all the generations Of the
dead, for the entire scale Of humanity
down to us, almost nothing; field, al
most nothingi The earth takes them
back again. oblivion effaces them Fare
WE'LL
A cha end Of thu fnhalite1~emetery