Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-09-30

back number, and should be turned down.
A CROOKED jury can not render a true bill.
But some 60 on record just the same
TIME flies over the wires to the electric
clock.
AN epidemic of laughter does not annoy
sanitary inspectors.
SICKNESS is Natures II told you So"
THE New York police have captured beg
gar whose route netted him $1,000 a year.
Generosity breeds these fellows. The public
should bear this in mind.
THE antis won in Congress. Antitrust and
anti-lottery bills have been passed. When the
tariff bill is passed dealers who imagine thar
American goods are not as good as European
will have to ante up.
OLD age is Times lineman.
THE bills passed by Congress are legal tender,
but some are worthless for all that
IF the sugar trust doesn't like the sweet clause
of the tariff bill it can lumpit.
QUANTITY not quality is what counts at the
Exposition.
RECENT proceedings in the House lead us to
doubt the efficacy of prayer.
A MAN makes monkey of himself when he
carries q tale to some other fellow
AT last the world realizes that the baseball
umpire is harmless individual.
THE tail end of the alphabet will figure con-
spicuously in the present campaign.
WHEN railroads put babes at the key that
moves the trains travellers are Graded in the
grave.
SPEAKER REED is the Maine-stay of the pro-
tectionists.
THE tie vote has delayed the tariff bill-bind.
ing tie and cotton tie.
A COAL and coke dome at Schenley Park
would draw strangers there. It would pay the
rapid transit managers to help the Project
along.
THE divorce lawyers make more money ont
of matrimony than the ministers nowadays.
You can't hoe your own row with borrowed
hoe.
ALUMINIUM promises to be dirt cheap after
ALL
MEN blind with passion can see we'll enough
to shoot straight.
WHEN Canada is annexed the Gag designers
will have their hands full. How to combine
the beaver, the maple leaf and the stars and
stripes artistically will be hard problem.
A SPECIAL cable to THE DISPATCH states
that the grandfather of the Prince who will
marry Delaware heiress, purchased his wife,
His grandchildren may live to hear their neigh
bors say that their grandmother purchased her
husband.
FIGURATIvELY speaking. Census Superin-
tendent Porter is ailing.
THE Russian Anarchists erected barricade
of sleepers before the Cars train the other day.
but failed to catch him mapping.
P1TTsBURG will send tool steel to England,
This is heaping Goals Of fire on the heads of the
Golden Clubbers.
IF Congress strangles itself with twine the
people will not mourn.
HOUSE Postmaster Wheat took his grist to |
the wrong market.
PENNSYLVANIA has cam paign, and that's |
bad enough. Bnt to be ffiicted with the |
Rynder-pest is adding insult to injury.
THE railway telegrapher who gives the en- |
gineer an open block by mistake is certainly a !
blockhead.
If you run across anything in newspaper |
that doesn't suit your fancy skip it. Newspapers
are made for everybody, you know.
SOME fruit crops this year are worth more
money than the land on which they grew.
BLUE points are best when blue noses are
visible. The frost favors the one and paints the /
other.
CANDIDATE DELAMATER must mind his P's
and Q's.
BRUSH up for the big IRON men, gentlemen
They will be here in a few days, and should see
at its best. Give them a surprise
party which they will never forget.
THE floating voters in the market should re-
member that So counterfeit bills are In circula-
lion. Politicians who buy votes will not hesI.
tate to shove the queer"
PEOPLE who imagine that talk ID cheap will
,hauge their mind when they buy ticket for
5tanley's lecture.
No WONDER crowds turn out to see Della
mater. He's notorious now.
THE Buenos Ayres police arrest whistlere.
When the Annie Rooney air strikes the Argen-
line the hobbies will be kept busy. It's CATCH
ng. you know.
SOME records will be broken before the
political racers pass under the wire.
THE old-fashioned crinoline. of gigantic pro.
portions, is coming from Paris. The small boy
nay cry Hoop la!" girls.
Mr.. DELAMAyER should not delay that letter
much longer.
SOAP is dirt cheap and water is free Clean
iness mainly costs time. Dirty folk can only
excuse themselves by imagining that time is
money.
A MISSOURI girl stands feet 10 and is still
rowing. She's long for this world.
P1rrsBuRa does not boast of gas trust, but
,uts its trust in gas.
WILLIE wINKLE.
BufIt VIII Not Auswe-.
rom the Washington Post.1
Senator Delamater. the Republican nominee
or Governor of Pennsylvania, contents him
elf by simple denial Of the serious charges
,ade by his Republican colleague. State Sena-
or Emery