Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1890-03-01
HIS OWN CORKSCREw.
Timpkins Has . New Trick Which
Brings Him Much Applause.

That bad man Timpkins, who is all the time
turning up with some thing novel in the We, of
original wicke dness. offered TO set up some ex-
ira dry for knot of half dozen fellows at the
club the other night, but they had been taking
brandy sodas and did not care for '.fzz." So
he ordered more of the same for them and for
himself a small bottle OF champagne.
You needn't pull, the cork" he said to the
pampered mental who took the order. Il will
attend to that myself"
One of the boys laughed and said:
'Old chappie. do you think you can pull q
cork better than Johnr'
mot at ALL" replied Timpkins modestly. 81
don't propose to pull it"
.Going to carry the bottle home in your
pocket, eh?'
SOMETIMES THE THING.
"Well, hardly. The only circumstances
take it, under which one is warranted in doing
that sort of thing are those one finds 'at a large
ball where there is so palpably an over-supply
of fzZ that 1t would be n positive crime not to
lay in a stock by making the use Of ones tail
pockets, which those conveniences in dress
coat are so admirably adapted for
BY this time the servant had brought the
brandy sOdas and the small bottle. unopened
The other fellows as they mixed their bever-
ages with the aid OF charged syphon--the
brandies were charged too, by the way-ob-
served Timpkins curipusly and guyed him in a
gentle manner. That VIGOROUSLY bad man.
however, did not appear in tine least discom-
posed.
Where's your corkscrew, Timmy?" asked
Noodles who always is everywhere don't you
know, when anything is going on.
ONLY AN AMATEUR.
Il am my own corkscrew," responded limp
kins, sedately.
THE human corkscrewr' cried another of
the group. When are you going to appear in
dime museum, Timmy?"
Not for the present. I'm only an amateur
freak so far. Watch me and see me do my act Z"
With this Timpkins deliberately grasped the
champagne bottle firmly between his hands
and. leaning slightly over the table, placed the
neck OF 1t between his front teeth.
''Ah, ha"' said Noodles, hes going to draw
the cork by sheer force of suction. / always
knew he was a good deal in that line, despite
his pretending to be such wicked man of the
world
Noodles, dry up" rejoined Timpkins, with
drawing the bottle neck for u moment "You
never had an idea IN your life beyond setting
up for a professional dude So don't make an
indecent exhibition of the shallownesss of your
Drain pan. 1 am going to show you fellows
something now that will make your hair curl
In spite OF yourselves. It's new thing-the
very latest"
THE FEAT PERFORMED.
And Ilmpkins. taking the neck of the cham
payne bottle once more between mis- teeth, bit
it right off as clean as if it had been done with
glass cutter. The wine spouted out over the
performers shirt front, but he did not mind
the look of surprise and admiration that came
over the faces of Noodles and the others was
sufficient compensation for the effort and the
loss of starch.
Its the freshest thing from Paris" said
Timpkins, with pardonable PRIDE amid the APP
plause of his little audience
But, all the same, some of the boys have
since expressed notion to the effect that he
encircled the bottle neck with a surreptitious
scratch, made by the diamond In the ring OH
his little finger, before giving the bottle neck
the twist with his teeth that was necessary to
break it off. That sinful Timpkins always was
up to extraordinary and unusual lodges, you
know