Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1890-11-29
WHY THEY LAUGH.
The Strange Nocturnal Adventure Of . Capt.
toll Policeman.

tOh fOItcelnon.
The coming session of Congress may be
thoroughly eventless and entirely devoid Of
humor, but the Capitol police force viii always
have something to laugh about There is
something supernaturally quiet about the in
terror of the great Capitol at night time after
the legislators and alleged legislators have gone
home or to some equally congenial resort
Every sound echoes and re-echoes to such an
extent that nervous man might easily imagine
himself surrounded by spirits of the non-drink-
able and invisible variety. Not long ago q
gentleman from particularly wild section of
the extremely woolly west secured position
on the force which preserves order in all por-
tons of the big building except the halls of the
House and Senate. He was unacq tainted with
many OF the ways of effete eastern civilization,
but that excusable ignorance could hardly be
gave his brethren one night not SO long ago.
he was dry-to use phrase Of Tom Ochiltree's
ne mad large and elegant thirst
on and he repaired to one of the
water coolers which are in inches at
various points Of the Capitol. A turn of the
wheel and the water was running into a glass.
The thirst was temporarily quenched. but how
was the rush OF water from the spigot to be
stopped. The wheel WIS turned and turned.
put as II was always turned in one direction the
ohAs hoWcu WIFI increased force. Inc
idea OF turning the wheel backward does not
seem to have entered the officers mind. but he
did feel 1t to be his duty to stop the stream be-
fore It overfowed the narrow bounds of a drip
tray land became uncomfortable. Something
mad TO be done and just then there flashed
across his mind the story Of the little boy who
saved Holland by stopping leak in a dyke with
ms infant arm. Quick as thought he placed his
thumb tightly against the mouth of the glass
nozzle and In instantaneous response stream
OF compressed ice water struck him all over his
face, to say nothing of his shirt front and the
rest of his attire. 1t was chilly
experience, bat he could not back down. Then
an inspiration came to him. Why not whistle
for aid? Shaking the surplus water off his
features and out Of his mouth he blew wild
notes OF alarm through his police whistle
Again and again did the shrill tones disturb the
atmosphere, while the water gurgled and Kissed
and soaked the faithful man whose strained
muscles were almost worn out in his endeavor
to stem the tide. Visions of a swelling and
turbulent flood tearing through the corridors,
running furniture and spelling the frescoes,
chased each other across the somewhat aqueous
mentality OF the persistent one. In fancy he
saw the waves rise around him, now up to his
waist about his chest, at his throat bubbling
around his ears. He sinks, rises again. sinks
once more, gets another and farewell breath
OF air, and Is going down for the last time when
ne Is seized by strong hand and dragged to a
place of safety
Why in the devil didn't you turn the water
of?" asked an indignant and an amused fellow
officer, who had beaten all amateur records
over marble floor in answering the distress
calls.
The drenched victim made no reply and
then heartless laugh wen. up from the crowd,
for every policeman within sound of the whistle
was there
And they still laugh.