The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1890-08-05
L,oHT MOODS.
rculled from our Erchansss,I

tCulicd from our Exchangss,l
A POROUS plaster has its draw backs.
FASHIONABLE Penitence--sack coat
and sashes.
To REMOVE freckles-- marry the girl
and take her 10 your home.
A PROSPEROUS butcher IL always able
TO meat bis indebtedness.
FORTUNE FOR CHAPPIE-@D her
father kickf" "Yes, but he missed.
thank heaven"
"WHAT do you think of it?" asked an
old member OF . secret society of o
newly initiated one, 20, it's all rite"
IT was Chicago girl who married at
fifteen 80 that she could have her gold
en- wedding when it would do her
some good
SCHOOL TEACHER (seyerely) You are
half an hour late this morning. Little
Boy (who was kept In" the day before)
-Yes'm. 1t was late yesterday when I
got home.
WHEN q man has done foolish thing
he always looks around quickly 10 see
ii anybody saw him; when q WON an
does--but who ever knew a woman 10
do foolish thingG
The difference between mems and
women's ways is nowhere shown 80
plainly as in trouble. Where woman
gives way to food of tears, man pro-
ceeds to put up a few dams.
PAssEgaER-Why is 1t most men
want 10 get seat inside the car, IL
only to ride short way. Conductor
suppose il is because there are no
seats on the outside of the car
SELF-sAcREIcE: Boy (to lady
teacher)-Teacher, there's q gal over
there a-winkin' at mel Teacher-Well,
then, don't look at her. Boy-But il
don't look at her, she'll wink at some
body elsel
Par (who il being lowered into o
well--Stop, will ye, Murphy Oh
want to COON mp again. Murphy (stin
letting him down )--Phat for2 Pat
0i'll show ye. AT We don't sthop lettin'
me doom Oil cut ther ropel
"IsN'T it funny that johnson could
steal hundred thousand dollars from
firm and yet have his books 30 fixed
that the Arm couldn't discover the
loss2" We'll, you know johnson al
ways sas clever at ledger-demain.
In SCHOOL. Pupil, reciting When
the old Romans felt their end approach
ing, they wrapped themselves in their
togas and awaited death. But suppose
death did not Gomez Teacher Then
i suppose they unwrapped themselves.
PATrENT-Bnt, doctor, does IL not
take mp your valuable time, coming all
the way from Hampstead 10 Chalsesf
Doctor (cheerfully) ut all: you
see have patient at Soland Square.
so can kill two birds with one stone.
AR THE DEPoT. --Fiapper-I feel
sorry for the poor immigrant over there.
He wants to get ticket for some place
out west. but his English is 80 bad THAI
no one can understand him. Flipper--
II seems o pity that he can't Express
himself, doesn't IL?
PARsog WIDEMoUF-D Deacon Slum-
gullion, whush yo'd make q pint ter
be mt de chu'oh mex Sundy. Use
gwan glib yer sufiin' i'om do az OBJ de
Postles. Deacon s. Well. parson, Of
yo'll jus take de az an chop de sarmon
In two, reckon hit'il gree mo- wild de
patience er de congregation.
MRs. SLTMDTET (boarding-house
keeper) What have you in this pot.
Bridget? Bridget (who Is trying TO
clean the old lamp burners by boiling
them -Piaze, mum, thim's th'ould
lamp tops. They waz no use at ali at
ali. Mrs. SfimdieE- Wen, don't forget
to put In plenty OF seasoning.
AN old lady alighted from car and
said, @Ahl' in tone Of appreciation.
show much more polite men are nowAr
days than they used TO be. Why, I
have always plenty OF room In an cmni-
bus, bat when / was young could
never ride In one without being crowded.
Rnnh fhinan navar hannan now