davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1890-05-16
Lady in south Carnllna Writes,

" man does not care to live let him UNI
pire baseball or go hunting with an anna
teur sportsman.-N. o. Picayune,
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1890-05-16

REALIZING that time has wings the hotel
waiter measures it from tip to tip.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1890-05-16

THE note shaver takes great deal Of in
terest in his business-W ashington Post.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1890-05-16

Two and two in an ice cream saloon make
a quartet. o. Picayune.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1890-05-16

THERE are cases when an auction sale is Q
sell-N o. Picayune.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1890-05-16
ONE ENJOYS

ONE ENJOYS
Both the method and results when
Syrup of Figsis taken; it is pleasant
and refreshing to the taste. and acts
gentlyyetpromptly on the Kidneys,
Liver and Bowels, cleanses the sys.
tenn etfectually, dispels colds, head.
aches and fevers and cures habitual
constipation. Syrup of Figs is the
only remedy of its kind ever pro-
duced, pleasing to the taste and &C.
ceptable to the stomach, prompt in
its action and truly beneficial in its
effects, prepared only from the most
healthy and agreeable substances,
Its many excellent qualities com.
mend it to all and have made it
the most popular remedy known.
Syrup of Figs is for sale in SOC
and 81 bottles by all leading drug
gists. Any reliable druggist who
may not have it on hand will pro-
cure it promptly for any one who
wishes to try it. Do not accept
any substitute.
CALIFORNIA FIG SYRUP CO.
SAN FRANCISCO. CAL.
LOUISVILLE, Ky. VIEW YORK. N.Y.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1890-05-16

TIE most popular dancing figure among
business men is balance to partners.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1890-05-16

THE most popular dentist is the one who
extracts teeth without payin'.-Plunder.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1890-05-16

THE dog with the appetite for trousers is
liable at any time to go on tear.-Wash-
ington Post
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1890-05-16

FIsH-BALLs are allowable in Lent.-N o.
Picayune.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1890-05-16
Consumptlon Surely Cured.

THERE IS no such thing as being so ag-
gressively good that you make beneticiaries
Uncomfortable milwaukee Journal
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1890-05-16

OF the great G. NJ. D. she bought a supply,
And directions for taking pursued to the letter
Twas the best thing on earth she could possibly try,
And soon, very soon, Miss Larkins was better.
The G.. M. d. she took was Dr. Pierce 8
Golden Medical Discovery, the great rem
edy for bronchial throat and lung diseases,
sick headache, scrofula, dyspepsia and all
diseases that have. origin in impure blood
and a disordered liver.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1890-05-16

OLD smokers prefer ''Tansils Pur sh."
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1890-05-16
Home Seekers Excursions.

LOVE may be blind, but he knows when
the parlor lamp is too high.-Binghamton
Aa2Ar
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1890-05-16

Her liver was clogged with impurities thick,
And her stomach was constantly burning with
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1890-05-16

MISS IARKINs was bilious and feeble and sick
And it seemed as If nothing would ever relieve
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1890-05-16
CURES PROMPTLY AND PERMANENTLY

CURES PROMPTLY AND PERMANENTLY
LU MI B A GO.
Rheumatism, Headache, Toothache,
= H II A L N =
Neuralgia, Swellings, Frost-bitcs,
B R u L - Il =
the CHARLES A. VoGELER CO.. Baltimore, Nd
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1890-05-16

c,, =. D. CHENEY q Co, Toledo, q
Sold by Druggists, 75c.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-07-11
Slow Work.

One of the interesting canal enter
prises now on foot is that which is to
connect the Corinthian and Saronic
CULTS of Greece. This canal across the
Isthmus of Corinth, which is to render
unnecessary the voyage around the
~Peloponnesus, will be four miles long
about the length of the Hoosic Tunnel
but it will beat even that famous
work in the lapse of time between it's
inception and completion. 1t was sug-
gested by Fernandez, one of the seven
wise men of Greece, nearly six hun;
dred years before Christ, again by
Demetrius Peliocretes in 800 B. c., and
once more by Julius Cesar in so B. G.
1t was actually begun by Nero, who
employed among other laborers, 5000
Jews whom Vespasian had taken pris-
oners, and it is to be finished by Gen.
Tuerr, a Polish engineer, who was in
the italian service with Garibaldi, and
who hopes to have it ready for use by
1892. He has carried on the work from
the point at which Nero left off. follow
ing the latter's lines and making use of
a double row of thirty-two pits, some OF
them 100 feet deep, which had remained
unchanged for 1900 years, except that
they had become filled with debris.
The excavation now reaches from sea to
sea, and is in some places 225 feet deep.
The canal is to be over rs feet wide at
top and 260 feet in depth at the point
where the isthmus is highest.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-07-11
A Wonderful Process.

In q little fve-room log hut in the
mountains of West Virginia near
Philippi, lives a man who has q process
for embalming the dead that outrivals
the ancient Egyptians. He is 81. W.
Haunick. His hut is filed with en-
balmed bodies of human beings and
animals without number. In the veins
and arteries of the human bodies the
blue and black blood stands out as clear
and natural as when these people lived
and walked and knew the passions and
emotions of beings. The finger and
toe nails show the pink flesh of life, and
on the cheek of one who died of con-
sumption the scarlet mark of that dis
ease remained clear and distinct. For
two years exposed to the air without
decay or odor, these bodies have lain in
this mans house, just above his bed
room. His process is a discovery of his
but it is so simple, he says, that q
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-07-11
The Modern Brakeman.

.ne modern passenger brakeman is
4o' al evolution, but a new creation
ne IS an object Of admiration, while
us predecessor of a quarter of a CEN
.uiy since was an object of wonder and
1--WE The latter was, usually, a collar
less' uncouth individual more or less
H NV 10 plug tobacco and profanity.
me badge of his authority was a red
nandkerchief tied loosely around his
.lroa1. Primarily, his occupation was,
upon a given signal, to fling himself in
,antastlc gyrations around the iron
Dfeak-wheel, and his contort;ons unon
me 'front.' platform in the discharge of
us o1ty were at onc the wonder and
auha1fatlon of the station %loungers of
ma period. He was usually distin-
gulshed by a tight-ftting CAP, With O.
peaked visor. His hands We're big and
coarse and calloused. There we're in
varlably grimy circles around his ewes.
When ne called out the name Of a sta.
.1oh 10 the occupants of the front car
1he people in the rear end of the train
could hear his voice, but the nearest
passenger could not tell what he said.
When he assisted q lady to alight, he
nelped her down from the high steps as
though she were so much baled hay.
Ills regard for baskets containing eggs
or crocAery amounted to absolute con
tempt. His business was to help run
the train,
he passenger brakeman of the pres
ent IS a symphony in blue broadcloth
anu brass buttons. He is at once orna-
mental and useful. The old iron brake
wheel still looms up on the front plat
form, but he rarely finds it necessary to
touch it, He is the object of envy and
Of admiration to the small boy at the
Queen Anne station-houses. 1t is his
duty and pleasure to cultivate a grace
ful carriage, and the sharp swing of an
Eastiake coach around a curve, which
causes Farmer Wayback and the
woman with a green veil on her bonnet
to clutch the seat in terror, only pro-
vokes a sweet, sad smile of sympa-
thetic commiseration. He is a little
less than a modern Beau Brummel in
bis attention to the ladies and school
girls temporarily entrusted to his care,
while maintaining an air of condescend-
ing dignity toward the men. When he
displays opposite characteristics, it is
an evidence that his training has been
defective Or he has mistaken his occu-
patton.
Long live the passenger brakeman OF
to-day, the courteous, affable, accom-
madating young gentleman, who is
worthy the newest style in the way Of q
railroad uniform that the directors and
their tailor can. Observation-Disclosures
Press.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-07-11
ing with all hope? t is the Star of Bethle-
Deep horror then my vitnls froze,
Death struck, 1 ceased the tide 10 stem,
When suddenly q star arose
1T WIS the Stnr- of natl,lol.an,
tt was the Star Of Bethlehem,

on, nearer, get your eye on il! 1t is
easier Tor you now to become IL Christian
IMAM IL is to stay away from Christ and
Heaven.
When Nine. Sontag began her musical
career, she was Kissed Off the stage at
Vienna by the friends of hcr rival, Amelia
stelnlnger. who had already begun to de-
clhe throush her dissipation. Years passed
on and one day Nine. Sontag. in her glory.
was riding through the streets of Berlin
when She saw u little child leading Il blind
woman ana she said: Como here, my little
child, come here. Who is that YOU are
leading by the hand?" And the little child
repllcu: That $ my mother: that's Amelia
Steininger. She used to be Il great singer.
but she lost her voice, and She cried so
much about it that she lost her eycsight."
Give my love to her." said Nine. Sontag.
and tell her an old acquaintance will call
on her this afternoon"
The next week in Berlin a vast assem-
blage gathered at a benefit for that Door
blind woman. and it was said that Nine.
Sontag sang hat night as she had never
sung before. And she took IL skilled oculist.
who in vain tried to give eyesight to the
poor blind woman Until the day of Amelia
S~tcininger's death Nine. Sontag took care
of her. and her daughter utter her. That
what the queen of song did for her
enemy. But. oh, heara more thrilling story
still. Blind immortal. Door and lost, thou
who. when the world and Christ were rivals
for thy heart. didst hiss thy Lord away
Christ now comes to give thee sight, to give
thee home. to give thee Heaven. With
moro than a Sontag's generosity He comes
now to meet your need. With more than a
Sontag's music He comes to plead for thy
dcliycranon
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-07-11
A Dru,n,mer's Dose.

"Why don't you take that half of the
seat?" Iasked of q drummer for a
Boston house as We were going down
from Charleston to Savannah on o
crowded train, and the half referred to
being alongside of q fairly good-looking
woman.
II quit that ter years ago." he re-
piled.
"Any story connected with it?"
Il should smilew
And when he got seated in the smok-
ing car he began:
About ten years ago, when my eye
teeth were still in the gums, I vas 60
ing from Cleveland to Cincinnati.
There was plenty of room in the coach,
but I figured to get alongside a woman
a good locker about 30 years of age.
1 found her talkative and pleasant, but
after about half an hour and while ]
was patting myself on the back, she
turned on me with:
ss'Can you spare me $75 to-day?'
Il laughed.
"'And don't keep me waiting she
continued.
dRdAu, HAtuOuBu SIG uau U
look which gave me a hint of trouble.
"'You either come down with the SIS
or I'll stand up here and claim tc
everybody that you are my husband,
and that you ran away and I am bring.
ing you back!'
Il didn't laugh this time. I saw tina,
she meant every word of it. I had
about $40, and 1 tried to bluff her. ]
told her to raise q row and I'd have he,
arrested, but she didn't scare worth 6
cent. She was springing up to denounce
me when [ came to time"
"You don't say you gave her the
money!"
"But I do. I counted it right out or
her lap, and she put it into her pocket
and said she guessed it would be a grea'
moral lesson to me to mind my owl
business in future. So it was. I go'
away from her after a bit, dead.
broke and mad all through, but I was
placed in such a position that I couldn'
say q word. No more half-seats fol
ME. One dose has worked o cure."-
| N. Y. Sun.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-07-11
A Real Romance.

F%requenters of the Riverside drive
often see a stylish turnout bearing a
family party consisting of father,
mother, and three pretty daughters,
and attended by two graceful eques-
%triennes, also daughters Of the family.
The mother is q stately, handsome
woman, n of the few danes in fact of
middle age seen in elegant carriages to
whom the observers eye turns a second
time. This lady's history is of special
interest to lovers of the romantic and
unusual in courtship. Being the only
daughter Of a wealthy house, with
indications Of q strong mind, she was
educated by the private tutor employed
for her brothers. She ran shoulder to
shoulder with them in their pursuit Of
knowledge till all were ready to enter
college. It was found, however, that
the young lady had been engaged in a
special study, Independent of her
brothers, for one evening in taking
leave of the tutor she abruptly, though
timidly, said:
"Mr. Blank, I am sorry that you are
SO soon to leave us-at least-I mean
that l cannot have you go. o, Mr..
Blank, do you not see that I love you?
Will you-will you marry me, Mr..
Blank~
To say that the tutor was astonished,
embarrassed, dumfounded, does not
half express it. REALLY, Miss Bella"
he stammered, II have imagined
this. Please give me time to think"
and so escaped for the moment.
OF course, everything being reversed
from the usual order of things, Miss
Bella it was who spoke to papa.
Father" she said, "you know I am of
age. I love Mr.. Blank, and have asked
him to marry me-"
"What on earth! Have you gone
mad? Go call your mother"
Mamma came, and, it is said, an
Undesirable scene followed. But Miss
Bella was firm and Miss Bella con-
queted, though it was some time before
she received a favorable answer to her
suit The tutor was poor and proud,
he did not relish playing the role of a
fortune hunter; he had a mans dis
position to struggle for and win a prize, |
rather than have it thrust upon him.
ButNliss Bella waited with so much
patience and sweetness, and so strong a
CONNECTION that he would say the right
thirg at last, that he did. Then she
welt on with her higher education and
he nth his teaching till the proper
time came for marriage. They have
had a happy and prosperous life. She
is de OF the leading literary women of
our country, and he n of its first
educators. Their names are on. the
titA page of several books, hers being
of o higher order than those that are
usually decorated with woman's name.
Blu; the intelligent observer wonders if
the five pretty daughters will be en-
Outraged to follow mammals example.
York Cor. PhiLa0elphi1 Press.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-07-11
One Use for Flowers,

The other day, as a royal train OF
Pennsylvania parlor cars pulled out Of
the Jersey City depot. q gentlemanly
nan carrying a huge bunch of lilacs
made his way from the real of the train
to the foremost car, the smoker. Press
ing almost upon his heels was a rather
rough-looking fellow making the same
journey.
1t happened as I raised my eyes 7
saw behind that bunch of lilacs a pair
of shining steel handouts connecting
the gentlemanly mans wrists. It would
be interesting to know whether it was
the convict's idea or that of his keeper
to put flowers to that strange use. But
to my mind there was something very
poetic about it.-Chatter.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-07-11
OF a Different Character.

Husband-We have had many quar-
rels in life, but we are mortal and will
die some time.
Wife-Yes, we shall die, but why
should that separate us hereafter?
My dear, there is a great gulf
fixed between the two places.
What is unfortunately true, and
that is why my heart grieves for you.
But don't be down-hearted. A woman's
invention finds many a way of doing a
kind act. I will bring you a drop of
water or perish in the attempt.
AS this was not exactly what he had
in his mind he resumed his paper with
q thoughtful face.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-07-11
Laughing ut Their Wounds,

"Humor exists under the most try
ing circumstances, and one of the best
places to observe it is in a hospital.
where the grotesoue aspect of human
misery is seen in ell its phases"
This remark was made by one of the
surgeons Of the New York Hospital to
a NeWs reporter, who naturally sup
posed that aisurgical ward would be
about the last place in which to crack a
joke or make q pun.
Recently" the doctor went on, Eve
had a man who had met with an acct
dent which necessitated the excision of
the elbow joint of the left arm; in other
words, a portion of it needed cutting
away. When the patient grew stronger
1t became necessary, in order to get the
natural movement of the elbow, to re.
sort to passive notion as it is called
that is, the arm was worked up and
down a quarter of an hour every day.
1t was an exceedingly'painful but nee.
essar.y thing to do, and the patient
stood it bravely. I used to say to him:
Now, Dan, it's time you were pumped
dan submitted as usual, but with
less than his ordinary c%heerfulness.
After some eight Or ten minutes Dan
remarked somewhat feebly:
doctor, don't you think you have
pumped long enough for to-day?'
"'Why, Damp =
Because the water is a coming out
of my eyes like sixty, an I'm afraid I'll
soon be running dry if you don't
quit!
II q scarcely imagine a higher form
of physical endurance than that poor
fellows answer conveyed. .
"a child, 8 years old, was brought in,
whose face was horribly disfgured by
burns received in falling over a stove
while trying to hang up a towel. There
was scarcely a square inch of unburnt
skin on her cheeks. In about three
weeks it became apparent how terribly
marked she would be at least for sew.
eral years.
Zone day when her mother visited
her and seeing how patiently the little
sufferer bore her pain, the mother be.
gan to cry.
one. Perhaps I shall do for a map O.
the United States for the teacher whe1
1 get WE'LL
"The child had probably heard a nurs,
say that her face would look like o mar
of the United States and the expression
had rooteditse in her mind.
"a servant girl from n of our larg,
hotels uptown met with an acciden
which necessitated the a%mputation Q
her right hand above the wrist. Sh
was a naturally bright, cheerful girl, bu
Kitty would have a good, cry now an
again over her loss. When about t
dress her wounded stump ( found Kilt
laughing and crying in a somewhs
h~ysterical fashion. l asked her IL
r reason.
Faith, doctor, that dead hand
mine wants to be after ,grabbin' a pa
of water, and it's little it $ thinking viii
a holy show it is making of ITSELF
"Of course the involuntary action
the muscles produced this feeling
wanting to take hold Of the pail. Ate
all it is perhaps we'll that these occs
sional sunbeams OF human nature shout
relieve the terrible sights we are CON
PEELED to witness. "-New York News
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-07-11
Joy of Is after a single lesson can do the

boy of Is after a single lesson can do the
work as effectually a. the inventor him
self. He can stop decay ut any point
and cures ulcers of long stanking by an
external application of this discovery.
by the same process he keeps fresh,
without ice, salt, or brine, all his meat,
butter and eggs, aud does the same for
his neighbors. Nh. Haunick has made
little or no effort to profit by his pro-
cess, which learned men pronounce the
greatest discovery of the age, far ahead
OF what the Egyptians knew. Indeed,
Hannlck seems to regard it rather as q
curious experiment than otherwise.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-07-11
Spirited.

SplrlCeu.
prisoner, I am ashamed of you! A
man OF your intelligence to get drunk"
"Sorry, SIR"
"No ambition, no idea of progress,
no sympathy in the spirit of the age
Eyes. I have; that's the trouble. Too
much spirit Of the age-whisky"-CAi-
cago Ledger.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-07-11
- Diamond Cut Dialpond

Farmer Eli (going home from the
grocer's)-Here, Dave, hfv some more
O. this cheese.
Farmer David-Shovfd quite a hunk
of it inter yer pocket, Didn't ye?
Farmer Eli-Yes; Hut old Prunelle
got the best of me, though. See him
charge me two cents for that half q
dozen clothes-pins? They amt only
three cents a dozen.tPuck.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-07-11
Betsy and Are Out,

One of the most striking illustrations
of Will CarletorAs world famous farm
ballad, "Betsy and I Are Out" was
learned of by an Omaha Bee reporter
recently. The parties are Jochin Weiss
and wife, who for thirteen years have
lived on their 400 acre farm six miles
west of Omaha. One Thursday after
noon Mrs. Weiss appeared before
Squire Anderson in this city and pri-
vately made oath that her husband had
for some time been very cruel toward
her and had threatened to murder her.
A warrant was Immediately issued
and Weiss being brought before Squire
Anderson was bound over for trial in
the sum of $1,000. Then Mrs. Weiss
proceeded to have divorce papers drawn
up. While the lawyer was engaged in
doing so Mr.. Weiss entered and pro-
posed that they separate without going
into court and getting a divorce. He
offered her an individual half interest
in all the property, valued at more
than $500, 900, the farm of 400 acres
being alone valued at $500 an acre.
Mrs. Weiss accepted the proposition.
The papers we're drawn then and there.
The couple have ten children; the
eldest is II years and the youngest a
babe only 3 months old. Mr.. Weiss is
about sixty and Mrs. Weiss about
iorty-fve. The children, all Of whom
side with their mother, will with her
remain on the farm.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-07-11

MEN who live on workingmen's Or
CARNATIONS have no time to work.
NeW Orleans PicdyaNe.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-07-11

LOVE is as old as tie first moment of
of time.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-07-11
They Enjoyed the Advertisement.

A rather queer sight in this city the
other day was the luggage of a newly
married couple. Some practical joker
had printed a large number of labels
about six inches long and two inches
wide with the words "Just Married"
and pasted them securely on the trunks,
handbags, etc., of the happy pair. The
Joke was not discovered till the party
was ready to start on their wedding
tour. and it was too late to remove the
labels. Perhaps the couple were too
happy to wish to conceal their fresh
bliss. At any rate the bridegroom car
ried his handbag labelled "Just Mar
ried" without any attempt at conceal
Springfield Union.