The Colfax chronicle., 1890-12-13
PuNGENr PARAGRAPHS.

What the farmer wants-the earth.
Will - "And wouldn't the dealer
trust huston; such well known man,
too?" Bill-"That's the trouble = he's
too we'll known. Yankee Blade.
Dem close oh yohn looks putty
new, how dye git emp" 'By de yahd.
same's an one else" "Humph! Sposes
you means dc back yahd, doan yer?"-
Washington Post.
Tive made my will, Joseph, and lit
is so we'll drawn it can't no broken" f"I
rejoice to hear that uncle" 81 don't
know whether YOU do or not, Joseph. ]
haven't left you cent"-H;rxer'
Bazaar.
Don you think it extrav igant,
Henry, to pay ten gui meas for di; Imond
ring for your wife?" Not at al |; you
seem to forget how much j shall save
on her glove bill."-Spale Moments.
This is tel rible frac iture.
l shall have to cut of the arm Gle Sc to
the shoulder" Tramp-"Wh hooplat Let
her go! can't saw any wood then, can
l, doctor?"-Boston Herald
-Teacher-'I hope you don't was te
any of your spare moments, Tommy ;"
Tommy--"No. ma'am, / don't, Dura ig
my spare time this week, ! have re I'D
three novels in the Bloody Bill Serias." :"
Yankee Blade.
When q man wants to believe in
ghosts, and is ashamed to. he believes
in hypnotism. Many man who can
not control his own mind talks gra,sely
of controlling tho minds of other
Atchison Globe.
I'm the Janitor's Room.-"So tho Ian. /
lord has gone mad. you say?" 20, yesn
they took him to Bloomingdale to-day
"But did he show it plainly?" Ger.
tainly, he had lowered the rent of every
fiat. Courier des Etats-Unis.
-Grinand Barrett went into the
barber shop just now to get combed. and
they charged me fifty cents. What dc
you think of that?' Saysit Anyhowe-
81 think the fool and his money are
parted. Van Dorn's Ma ,azine.
1T Was Worth Looking At.-"You
dashed this off in An idle moment, sup
pose," remarked the editor as he looked
1T the manuscript mo, sir; worked
1T that for month" Indeed! III
give it careful consideration. Smith,
Gray & Co.'s Monthly. \
Country Editor-"Jim, understand Z
that old stone building at the cross \
roads is to be torn down." The Printer
Yep, they begin tomorrow" Coun-
try Editor-"Well. just slip around and
put live toad in the wall. We must
nave something to fill up with this
xeek."-N. Y. Weekly.
IL called to see your father this af-
5ernoon," remarked Charlie. as he took
/ seat in the parlor. Hester fiuttered
'isibly. Recovering herself with an
apparent effort, she said, simply; did
Tou?" "Yes." replied Charlie. "He
has been owing our firm little bill for
ome time. e."-Washington Post.
lit is stated that man in California |
las two pairs of ears. A wise provision
# Providence, no doubt, to enable him /
o get the worth of high-priced opera.
I this popularity should multiply in
lis descendants it may be possible after
while for somebody to come out even
With tho telephone company. Rams
Iorn.
-Calier-'Is there any thiag more I
an do for your comfort, Mrs. Muggers?"
irs. Muggers tvery deaf and nearly
'lind)--'Only one thing. Wouldn't you
introduce me to some of the society
'oung ladies?" Caller-"With'p pleasure.
70 doubt they will be glad to be of as
istance." Mrs. Muggers-"Yes, you
ee get tired Saying at homo and I'm
cry sure if they knew how am afflicted
hey'd be glad to take me on all their
title excursions, as chaperon." = Good
Jews