Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1890-06-07
JoH,, ALIENS VICTORY.
A BAD Case Made Good by a Profouns
opnion from the Classics.

Rad Case Made tnod by Protouns
cpnicn from the Classics.
sPrivate John Allen, OF Mississippi.
who became the wit Of the House OF
Representatives with the death of sun
set Cox. tells a good story on himself OF
how he came to be a profound lawyer.
A Marty of members were telling warns
in the cloak room OF the House, and
when Aliens turn came he told this one:
Il want tell you of the greatest
legal victory of my life, said Allen, as
he lighted cigar and propped his feet
against the wall in true southern style
lit was down in Tupelo, during the try
ing period lust after the war. l was at
that time a practicing lawyer-that is.
practiced whenever | had any cases to
practice with. One day old Uncle
Pompev. enc Of the old negroes of the
settlement, came into my Office and said
''Mars John. | wants you to cl ar me-
Use gwine to be rested for stealth OF
two hams out'en de cross road store
ss.Well. Pompey,' | asked, did you
steal the hams?'"
.'Mars John, | just took en-
Ibid any one see your asked
'''Yar. Boss, said the old negro, dis
consolateIy, two old white buckra's'
".Wen, Pompey, replied, L cant
do any thing for you under the cireum
stances
Now, Mars John. said old Pompey
here's ten dollars. iist want you tc
try
..WeU. consented to try, said Allen
THE case was to be heard before an old
magistrate named Johnson. lie was
totally uneducated, and was moreover q
perfect dictator, and no negro never
came before him who was not fined the
maximum penalty and sent to his field
to expiate the crime in the sweat of his
brow.
The magistrate heard the case
Every possible proof was brought to
show that Pompey stole the hams
There could be no doubt of it from the
testimony. ! did not put single ques
ton to any Of the witnesses, but wher
the testimony was all in ! arose. and il
my most digniied manner addressed the
magistrate:
.''May it please your Honor, it would
be useless for me to argue the position
he holds, and before one who woulC
adorn the Superior if not the Supreme
Court bench Of this grand old Common
wealth And | may say that those whC
know you best say that you would grace
even the Supreme Court of the United
States, the highest tribunal in the land
1t will be useless to dwell upon the ties
timony. You have heard it, and know
tho case as well as | do. However, il
NAV not be out of order for me TO cal
your Honor's attention to short pas
sage in the old English law, which
clearly decides this case, and which, fol
the moment, your Honor may have for
gotten
Then | fshed down into my pocket
and drew forth, with great flourish, ar
old copy of Julius Caesar. l opened il
with great dignity to the first page and
read the line which is familiar to every
school boy: 'Omnia GaHia IN parties tre
dicjsa est. That decides the case sale
l. throwing the book upon the table
That clearly acquits the defendant
with great dignity and solemnity J
then took my seat. The old magistrate
was completely nonplussed He looked
at me moment quizzically and
scratched his head. Then turning tc
Pompey, hesraised himself to his full
height and said:
"'Pompey, 1 know you stole them
hams, but by the ingenuity of your law.
yer I've got to let you go. Git out,
said he, as he planted his No. in the
seat of Pompey's pants, and if you ever
come here again, lawyer or no lawyer,
you git six months. Atlanta COnsti-
tntinn