Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1890-09-11
WEATHER xprcArroxs.


WEATHER INDICATIONS.
Tramp Ito buxom farmers wife, stand
ing on the porch and looking up at the
sky)-How's the weather this morning,
ma'am2
Farmers Wife turning suddenly and
catching up pail Of ''suds'D D-Clearl
And the tramp clears Burlington
Free Press.
HEAD LIKE A TACK.
aOh, John,n exclaimed Mrs. Cumso,
81 know how to make q hundred dollars
Just as easilyw
''HowY"
sfWhy, down at Nine. Robes there's
lovely Paris dress marked down from five
hundred dollars to four hundred. ."-[San
Francisco Wasp.
AT THE MENAGERIE-
''That's the porcupine, isn't itY What
an ugly-looking creaturel"
"Yes. It isn't what you would call
an attractive animal. Still 1t has q
great many fine points about it. t."-[Echo
de Paris.
HE DID NOT GO.
'sNo," said she. Ell can be only q
sister to YOU"
"Very we'll, said he, 'Tmust be goingl
l had expected different answer, but
well, good-nightl"
"George," she faltered, as he started
out into the night. 'Georgei"
"What is it9" he asked, Grossly.
"Aren't you going to kiss your sister
goodnight"
A PIoUs HOPE
'sYou must be as quiet as possible to-
night, Johnny" said his mother, "for
we are to have the minister for supper"
''Have him for supper, eh2 Well, I
hope he'll taste good. ."-[ Ashland Press.
SLIGHT MISTAKE.
Wickwirc-Is Nudge really going to
marry thatgirl2 Why, he is as poor as
church mouse, and she hasn't q cent to
her name.
Yabsley-You are wrong there. Her
front name is Rose. .--TTerre Haute Ex-
press.
A JEALOUS LOVE.
He-I love the very ground you tread
on.
She-Then you can't have me. Iwant
to be loved for myself alone.--[New York
World.
| MOST LIKELY.
Wife-What do you suppose baby is
thinking about9
The Brute-I s'pose he's thinking what
to cry about tonight. t.-[Life.
THEY ARE ENGAGED.
Cornelius Loyell--Dont address me as
Mr.. Lowell, Maude; it is SO formal, you
know. Call me Cornelius.
Miss Maude-pd call you Corn If
#
eff what. darling9"
| eff thought you'd pop"
Mr.. Lovellis now engaged.
SENSITIVE EAR.
It is remarkable to what an extent re-
finement may be carried. There is in
this city young man who eats crushed
violets and wears azure neckties every
time he feels an attack of the blues ap-
preaching. The other evening he awoke
in the middle of the night, and rousing
his roommate said:
''This is simply agonizing."
"What is the matter9"
"Those two mosquitoes that are sing
ing in the room"
'tWell, what do you care as long as
they don't bite you9"
They are not singing in harmony. y
Washington Post.
HER ESTIMATE OF DAMAGES.
"Had an accident here this morninga''
queried the breathless reporter as q
matronly lady appeared at the door in
response to his violent ringing.
eyes, we did. You see, the next
house come right up to ours, and the
! man painting it asked to come through
our house and crawl out the scuttle on
to its roof. Well, I let him. When ht
crossed the garret he fell through the
, floor"
"Hurt him much2"
eyes, guess so. But he didn't stoE
with the garret; he fell through the next
floor, tore hole through the carpet
knocked the plaster off the ceiling, and
, oh, he has just made an awful muss l''-
Texas Siftings.
IN THE AGGREGATE.
Clara-How do you like my friend2
Fanny-He is horrid creature. Is b,
married9
"No; he is not married"
"How happy is the lot Of the woman
who did not get him for husband. y
Texas Siftings.
AN ARGUMENT.
"They say that the rates are too high,
: said he,
. "That charge at my seaside hotel;
Yet there isn't reason that can see
Why shouldn't be paid very well.
t ssFor broker gets all he can honestl,
make,
ei And man placed as am should fee
t That he's fully entitled commission t,
s take
On each big matrimonial deal
r Washington Post.
AT AN AFTERNOON TEA.
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