The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1890-08-20

IMPORTANT to women-men.
A GREAT contractor-the girl who
1sces tightly.
WHEN the milkmaid is awkward and
fretful the COW generally turns pail.
"AYp, Alphonse. do you think You
can love me little when am old!"
~Yes, very"
~SoME people want the earth" re-
marked Atlas, and wish they had it;
I'm tired Of it,"
OF course: what kind of a dinner
does Fritz give you for twenty-five
cents?" "Oh, twenty-five cent din
ner."
FIRST Tramp-There Is no salvation
for us now, Bill, but work or death.
Second Tramp Is that so? Say, Luke,
what's the easiest way to die?
DocToR-What is your husbands
complaint, ma'am? Is ii chronicf
Wife-Yes, sir, / have never KIN own
him to be satisfied with meal for the
last thirty-fve years.
ROBINSON say that hiccough-
ing caused by drinking can be stopped
by putting lump Of ice in each ear
Wentman-But, then, how do you stop
the earache? Robinson-Take another
drink.
New neigfbor Gn Chicago - Go cd
morning, my little dear. 1 saw You ont
walking with very fne-looking gentle
man last evening. Is he your papa
Little Girl-Yessir, an he's one OF the
incest papas ever had.
Mr.. Woes (admiringly)-Mrs. Han
son looks as pretty as a picture this
afternoon. Mrs. Wiggs-That costume
is very becoming. She has husband
who likes TO see woman decently
dressed and isn't too mean to pay
for it.
NELLIE-Uncle Jack. who was that
lady all in black with the queer white
hat whom we saw go past just now?
Uncle Jack-That was Sister OF
Charity, dear. Nelly after pause)
Uncle Jack, was it Hope" or
Faith
HUSBAND (angrily )-This beef is all
burned up. Why in thunder did you
cook it SO much? Wife-Well, / can
not think of everything. / was busy
writing an article for the Ladies Cook
ing Journal, and forgot the meat was
In the oven.
WHAT is the chief end of man."
asked a Braintree Mass Sunday
school teacher of one of his boys. And
instead of giving the answer in the
catechism, he replied: "The chief end
of man is the end what's got the head
on"
WIGGINs-Who are those ladies in
that left-hand box? Muggins-Oh,
that is constellation of society stars.
Wiggins-Any particular constella-
ton? Muggings-Well, Judging from
their decollete costumes, / should say
the Great Bare.
BRETHREN, writes Georgia editor,
"the paper is little late this week,
but when We tell you the reason We are
sure you will forgive us. We were out in
the country, attending the funeral Of
our mother-in-law. She died young,
but she died game
PURCHASER - Rosenbaum, you told
me this suit was fast colors Look how
it has run. 'hellup me,
Waiter Abraham, vot does the man
want? 1 saidt does colors was fast unit
dey run. Do you dink dey oughter fly,
or go by steam, or Something's like dot?
NEIGHBoR (breathlessly) - Where's
your pa? Little girl-He's gone to the
meeting of the Society for the Comfort
ing of Jail-birds. Why? Neighbor-
He's wanted, quick. 1 just saw two
suspicious-looking cusses driving off
like sixty with your pas horse and
buggy.
AT EVENING.
The sun had kissed the western wave
And babe the world good night
While In the sky the floating clouds
Hung blushing ut the sight.
The playful ripples dancing came
Fom out the mighty sea.
And paused a moment on the sands
And kissed them tenderly.
The gentle evening breezes sighed
Among the boulders bare,
And kissed their loneliness away
And fingered fondly there.
youth beside n maiden walked
II tell no wondrous deed,
When twilieht's shadows kissed tho shore,
He followed Natures lead.
Puck.
Things II Hate tO