Sturgis advertiser. (Sturgis, Dakota [S.D.]) 1887-1???, 1890-11-13
THE LlME-<ILN Clue.
Brother Consider smith on trial for mis-
E.ffo.

Brother Consider smith on trial FOR hi
E.ife.
No sooner had the members begun tc
put in an appearance at Paradise Hall
than an outsider would have caught on
to the fact that something of grave inn
q portance was on the carpet. Elder
Toots walked about with his hands
crossed under his coat tails and his face
blank, Judge Discovery Smith busted
4 himself looking over lot of legal docu-
i ments. and Shindig Watkins, Eight
Hour johnson, Remember Taylor, and
Samuel Shin conversed together in low
tones and shook their heads in grave
and sorrowful manner. Giveadam
Jones generally upsets the stove, knocks
down the pipe, breaks q pane of glass
or smashes lamp in his exuterance of
4 spirits, but on this occasion he entered
the hall very softly and put in his time
reading novel entitled: aThe Bloody
Big Toe of the Dark Heel Ravine.
IL was only when the meeting had
been formally opened that an explana-
ton of the mystery was had. Brother
Gardner looked sad, but full of bust
ness, as he mounted to his station, and
when the wheels had been properly
creased he said:
"Gemlen, we hasn't met heah dis
eayenin' to listen to an essay or lecktur'
| by some famous man. We hasn't met
to do bizness consarnin' de welfar' of de
| world in gineral an de United States in
| pertickler. De occashun is one full Of
sadness Not dat we have lost .brud-
der by de hand of de grim destroyer,
but dat we mus put Twin brudder on
trial fur his life. De facts am probably
known to all Of you. De committee on
internal harmony has sartin charges to
prefer agin Brudder Consider Smith,
an he will be lowed chance to prove
hisself innocent"
The above named committee, through
its chairman, Col. Glucose Green, then
read the following charges:
l. Having spoken Of Brother Gard
ner as charlatan.
2. Renting box at the postofice.
3. Going in and out of various banks
without any other errand than to make
people believe he is q depositor.
4. Claiming to strangers who visit
Paradise Hall that he runs things there.
5. Borrowing money of members of
the club and neglecting to repay the
same.
6. Alleging that Brother Gardner was
cutting his cloth to secure the next
presidency.
Z. Advising various members TO split !
off from the old club and form q new
one, the constitution of which should
provide for banquet at every meet
ing.
8. Declaring his belief that all fowls
were common property.
Is de accused ready fur trial ?" asked !
the President as the reading of the
charges was finished.
"He ar, replied Brother Smith as
he stepped forward.
Very we'll. We will now take up
charge No. /. How do you plead ?"
Guilty, sab, but guilty bekase I
didn't know what 'charlatan' meant
when used de word. I heard one
white lawyer call anodder by dat name,
an / s'posed it meant dat he knowed
about all dere was to know. I dun used
it to compliment you, sah."
I'm! 1t may be possible. I'll de-
eide it dat way, but let dis be warnin'
to you bout usin' bullets too big to fit
de bore Of de gun. Charge No. e."
Not guilty, sab. Ineber had no box
at de pos'ofice. I was jess maxim be-
lieve had"
ooh! Wall, de charge can't stand,
but it will be de giniral opinyan of dis
club dat you has made fool of your
sell. Charge No, 3.
"Pze done guilty, sab, but TIE sorry
fur it..
Sorry fur it-yes! Brudder Smith,
when pusson who hain't got a loose
quarter in his pockets is seen gwine
inter bank wild his hat cooked on his
ear what is de inference? What YOU
gwipe to expect? How you gwine to
figger it out? You's gwine to figger
dat he's maxim a false show to
deceive de public. an you kin put him ,
down fur bad, bad man. You stand
convicted of de charge. Charge No. A."
"I'ze nebber dun claimed to run .
Paradise Hall, sab. TIE showed
visitors around, an Ize explained :
things, but Ize allus been keerful to !
say dat I was way down to de taiI.end !
Of de purcession."
"Well, we'll declar' you innocent of :
dat charge, but let dis be solemn J
warnin' fur you not to blow your nose .
TOO loud an step too high. Charge ;
81 has borrowed money of some of | ;
the members, sab, but Ize gwine to !
repay 1t jess as soon as possible"
I'D advise you to do so. I'll pass de /
,harpa hut it's annodor warmth +o vo,,