Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-10-03
SNAP SHOTS IN SEASON,
RAIN cannot stop the human race. 1t goes
in the dust or the mud Just the same

| How dampness depresses Us. When it's hot
| we suffer in silence; when It's cold we bestir
ourselves; but when it's wet we NOPE. A rainy
| day is dreary day. Inside or outside makes
no difference-the same feeling of don't-care-
| whether-sch schoOl-keeps-or-not overcomes us.
! Everything drags, time hangs heavily, the
| moisture seems to make us moldy. When the
sun shines we can hunt the shade and carry
| some of the brightness with US. When it rains
we feel soggy, and the dampness follows US
| everywhere. Good-natured folk grow crustier
grumblers have lots Of company. nervous folk
seem utterly unstrung-irritation with the irr-
CATION. And nature, too looks as dismal
as the people, especially in. the city. The
washings from the sooty, dusty roofs overflow
the tronghs and trickeI in black lines down
frightened walls, while the spouts squirt murky
streams into surface cutters, leaving 4 deposit
of slime behind. Hurrying feet take up the
mud from crossings. plaster it on corners and
carry it along. forming slippy Shiny track.
Awnings drip big drops of linen-soiling water
once pure, now defled by contact with city
CRIME. How these drops do manage to locate
themselves between neck and collar, too And
the folk in skirts-bedraggled, bespattered be-
smeared with the mire of the street. A whole
weeks washing spoiled on rainy day! But we
must have rain. No rain, no roses: no clouds,
no crops, you know So let us make the best of
it. Life is not SO short but we can spare time
to dodge the showers. When it rains hard let
MS get in out of the wet. And let us strive to
store up little sunshine for diffusion on the
rainy, dismal days.
THE devil grins behind the back Of the man
putting up stovepipe.
SELF-MADE women are scarce, but the tailor
made article suits us very well.
THE weather is on the free list. Hence it's
good democratic weather.
ALE from old England, grape juice from the
Rhine;
Delicious Burgundy. champagne so divine,
Whisky from Scotland, poteen from that Isle
Where men are so brave and the lasses be-
guile,
Have been by Mckinley taxed higher this fall;
Hence topers will soon see the glasses grow
small.
THE man who waits for something to turn up
Xxx ALE will not be exported from England
in such large quantities as it used to be.
CARPENTERS are plane and square men
SPEAKER REED realizes by this time that
quorum making is a thankless task.
BLONDES have good livers and black haired
folk have bad livers. The whites are disappear
ing. II fair hair is to be perpetuated We must
be careful 1ivers Bad bile makes black locks.
The Jack Horners who put in thumb and
pull out plum" next Christmas will be Graded
in the lap of luxury.
THE tariff on kid gloves from abroad has been
elevated. Lamb pelts will doubtless be quoted
higher.
PHILADELPHIA has a singing monkey. It's
not dude, either.
GOOD nature is the best cosmetiuue girls.
PERHAPS It would pay to introduce Canada's
game of lacrosse or the English and Scotch
game of golf in this country. Baseball is played
out.
THE Record containing the proceedings of
the first session of the Fifty-first Congress eau
not be introduced into the public schools.
JOHN L. SULLIVAN has Joined the Elks.
He's had good deal of experience with horns.
THE starry flag cannot be used for adver-
tising purposes any more, except by the poll
ticians.
THE pawnbrokers who loaned money on
stolen goods will feel lonely when they reach
the cell.
others.
THEY are running the Gubernatorial candi.
dates on schedule time. Their endurance is
taxed to the utmost. Is the game really worth
the powder?
WHILE the autumn leaves are falling,
And the candidates are bawling
Hereabout,
Patient people, sick of brawling
Long to hear the umpire calling:
Now strike outl
CLARKsoN says Blaine is the greatest force
in the world to-day. What is the willy beheader
and blocker after now?
SINNERS cannot enter plea of "Not Guilty.
in heaven.
A PHILADELPHIA inventor claims that he
can build an electric locomotive which will
cover the distance between that city and New
York in SO minutes. This will hardly give
switchmen time enough to display the wrong
signal.
SPEAKER REED will now have time to get his
sash washed.
A MAN never realizes what an abject fool he
is until he falls in love with one girl JilIs her
for another, and lives to hear his letters read in
a breach-of-promise suit.
WHEN ice goes down gas and coal GO up,
MISERY loves company, hence tramps travel
in pairs.
THERE'S newly made grave over there,
There's room in a fat marked ITO Let"
'Tis sad that one young and SO fair
Has smoked up his last cigarettel
SENATOR QUAY can do a heap Of thinking |
while waiting for bites. People who imagine |
he goes fishing for fun are badly mistaken.
A CANADIAN paper says Is cars passed over |
the Grand Trunk the other day labeled BARLEY. !
Rush Me Through. Mckinley Is After Me-"
It got through barely in time, too.
BALDHEADED folk leave heirs behind,
The Worlds Fair has director, and it's |
about time for him to issue directions.
WHEN the corn is in the tassel and the pump
kin's rosy red,
When the skeeters' buzz no longer keeps us
turning in the bed,