The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1890-03-04
AMUSED CITIZEN"
His Compliments to Fellow Resident of Fair
Brigham City.
To the Editor of THE HERALD.

To the Editor of THE HERALD.
In the beginning, God created the
heavens and the earth, but in the fore part
of the nineteenth century "B." tied up
few obsolete ideas in an old dish rag and
sent them to the Tribune for publication.
The creator contrived man, but who is re-
sponsible for the appearance of ''B' is still
a conundrum which disconcerts none but
his few disguised Liberal friends. 1t is
limited that he must be sucking from the
DID, tumble-down pest house east of Brig
ham. His redoubtable essay at acrimoni-
Gus contumely iustifies the conjecture.
In Tuesdays Tribune, he began his weak
little attempt at reply to our article which
appeared in Saturdays HERALD, with the
bold, self-assurance of a swelled-heaGed
grub worm. He calls Amused Citizen" a
''penitentiary jail bird" We defy him to
substantiate this statement It is abso-
lutely false. You have mistaken your
man, you silly boy. Your head is swelled
so enormously that we fear your watery
brains have popped out, and with your
thinker on lead up Box Elder creek, gone
to seek more congenial cline in the cram
ium of some unsuspecting bull frog.
Our readers will excuse the levity in the
choice of language, but we are obliged to
knucl1le down and screw bones when ham
mering logic into the head of valiant
minion of the Liberal party, whose pro-
found learning would best fit him to pull
up the shoppers from beer kegs, that the
lack daw- judges'' might quaff the con
tents.
We deplore the poor coot's comprehen-
sion of 'witticisms'' if the quotation from
a speech which he asserts was delivered in
the tabernacle covers his idea of the word.
| He dragged the old hackneyed speech out of
| oblivion where it had been resting for a
score of years, and held it up before the
credulous public as bit of fresh toast. He
did not know that the horse thieves of
into stubs by its constant use, and subse-
quently inferred it for just such ignoram-
ouses as he to resurrect and gloat over.
| We are intensely grieved and yet sur
prised that he would object to our saying
that the views of the meeting were heralded
from mouth to mouth, etc. Perhaps it
would have pleased him more had it read
1.-The news poured down from beer bottle
dive to Badger Hole No. 2 and from
Badger Hole No. = back to beer bottle
dive and he who was 'on to the combination
could know and drink in the information at
! the expense of the big-hearted Libs.''
| We concede the point that it was ''fine
guitar band,n led by three noble kids with
their awe inspiring mouth organs, accom-
panied by several beer-slingers and other
nonentities, with genuine ''penitentiary
jail bird"-a daub of your own mud, mine
Herr-conducting the grand harmonious
combination of euphonious strain pro-
ducers.
1t is somewhat humiliating to be COM
PEELED to step down and reply to such pal
pably shallow and incompatible article
the effusion from ''the' pen of ''B'' Ia big
drone)-and this hurried reply, after one
glance at his piece would not have been
given but for one reason-an innocent man
is suspected as being
AMUSED CITIZEN.
L Oh,