The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1890-02-07
HIS EYES WENT BACK ON HIM.
The Remedy for a Man Who Saw n Woods
Full of Coons.

| .
The Remedy for a Man Who Saw a Woods
Full of Coons.
doctor said a red faced and watery
eyed man from Wayne township, as he
came in DR.. Babcock's Office, in Ham,
m~ondsport, the other day, ''l'm afraid
my eyes is goin' back on me, and | drop
ped in to kind o see if l can find out
where they're lame"
"Ah!" said the doctor. "What seems
to be the matter with your eyes,"
"That's what l don't know" replied
the man, "but they played me a trick
t'other day that don't leave no room for
doubt but what there's somethin' out o
gear with 'em, somehow. I'll give you
the symptoms. Maybe you don't know
that I'm quite a coon hunter, but am.
T'other day my boy bought one O these
britch loadin' and repeatin' shotguns, and
I told him I'd go out and see how it d
work on a coon. Invent out, and hadn't
gone more than a mile up the zill before
l seen a big coon pop on to the limb of a
chestnut tree. He came there so sudden
that I couldn't get it through me where
he had come from or how he got there.
But I didn't stop to ask no questions, but
up and blazed away. Now I've got the
name over our way, Doc, of never missin'
anything I shoot at, and of course when
I pulled up and whanged away at that
coon I expected to see him tumble, but
he didn't. When the smoke cleared away
he sot there jest as he was when / seen
him first. / was surprised, now, | tell
you. / thought it was the guns fault,
but blazed away again. The coon never
moved. I happened to look, somehow or
other, at a tree off to the right of the II
the coon was in, and there sot another
coon on a limb. I thought I'd try my
luck on him, and so l let him have a shot.
He never stirred.
81 begun to git mad by this time, and
durin' a little conversation / was havin'
with myself about the gun I happened
to glance at a tree to the left Of the first
tree, and there on a limb was another
coon. / tried my luck on the third coon,
and didn't hit him no more than I did
t'other two. Hooked at the first tree;
there was that coon, sittin' right where
he was when I first seen him. l looked
at the second tree, and there was that
coon, still ON the limb. I turned my
head toward another tree, and there l
seen a fourth coon, and lookin' around
me whichever way might, every tree I
seen had a coon in it, and all as fat as
coons could be. got wild.
"sThunder! I hollered; there's the
woods full O. coon, and I hain't got moth
in but this new tangled gun that won't
hit a barn.
'sBut l begun to blaze away as fast as
the gun could spit a cartridge, fust at
one coon and then at another, until
every darn load was emptied out O that
gun, and I hadn't dropped a coon. /
was jist agoin' To slGt that gun to flinders
against a tree, when I happened to rub
my eye, and when I took my hand down,
there on my finger was a nice, jolly, fat
wood louise. Hooked up, but every coon
was gone. The fact O. the matter is,
Doc, that wood louise had been hangin'
on to one of my eye-winkers all the
time, and I thought I was seem eoons.
Be I gittin' near-sighted, or is the optic
nerve doublin' up on me?'
"Neither one" said the doctor. 'Haye
the hind pocket in your hunting pants
cut down from quart size to h~alf-pint,
and you'll be all right"
The man went out shaking his head
and said he'd think about it.-Ham-
mondsport Cor. New York Sun.