Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1890-11-01
PuNeENT PARAeRAPHs.

1T seems to be easier to be Ma.
poleon of Finance than to pay 100 cents
on dollar.-Lewiston journal.
(which side did tho old maid take
In the marriage discussion?" "That mar
riage is Lot failure. Yankee Blade.
The man who runs his boots down
at the heel has hard time keeping his
! toes square with tho world.-Ram's
Horn.
-Clara-"I think Fred is one OF the
most weak-kneed fellows ever met"
Nellie (Fred's best girD III don't think
so. He holds me we'll enough. Boston
| Herald.
The Modern Great Man.-"when
were you born, Prof. Greathead." "The
18th day of May, 1882 or SO II am not
sure; but you will find it in the encyclo-
pedia. "-Fliegende Blatter.
-Alice-"Why, Edith, is that you?"
What a pretty bonnet you have onp'
Edith-"Do you think 1 look we'll in
it?" Alice--"Yes, indeed-I hardly
knew you. "-Munsey's Weekly.
Physician Ito country editor) -
"Your pulse is decidedly better. How
about your circulation?" Country Edi-
tor tabsent mindedly) "Circulation?
About two thousand. Subscription
price, S1.5o per year. "-Harper's Bazaar.
You don't know what phenome-
non is? Why, COW is no phenomenon
and an apple tree is not phenomenon
either, but If the COW should climb the
spple-tree, that would be phenome-
non. ."-Fliegende Batter
-Biohnson-"Have you bought q
ticket to the church fair?" Bjones-
mot yet; but speaking of church fairs,
what an awful highway robbery that
was in Arizona, yesterday. "-Lawrence
American.
-Reader-"Yes, I liked your new
novel very we'll; but I observe the
| critics do not find your characters nat
ural." Novelist-"I made those char
acters up out of my own head" Reader
-"Ah! see the critics think they are
| rather wooden. America.
Practical Dame "How much are
| these fsh?'' Marketman - "Sixteen
cents pound, ma'am." Practical Dame
| -"That seems very high, but then, I
know fishing is very hard on the consti-
tuition. Every time my husband goes
he has an awful headache the next
morning. Good News.
Employment Agent-"Th top O. tn
mornin' t we, Biddy Maloney. olive
found a place fur ye. Go to the strate
an number ye foind on this card"
| Domestic-"Sure, it's a noice neighbor-
hood, Oi'll 60" Agent-Wait minute,
Biddy. Take off that French cap. It's
not French maid, but an American
gurl they wants. IN. Y. Weekly.
Awful, indeed!-Mrs. Kawler-"I'm
sorry that your husband was caught and
sent to prison for his embezzlement Of
the banks funds" Mrs. Ab-Sconder -
"Yes, and the worst of it was that in
court they put him right into the same
pen with all the cheap, petty thieves
So degrading to man who stole $780,
00o."-Lawrence American.
The Importance of thinking before
| you speak recently received an amusing
! Illustration at a meeting held in WE'LL
| known town not hundred miles from
I the banks of the Hudson. One of the
! persons who occupied the stage was an
enthusiastic deacon, who frequently in
| terrupted the speakers by yelling:
| THANK goodness for that!" One gen.
/ tleman was called upon who arose and
I said Ladies' and gentlemen, / am
heart and soul in this cause, and feel
/ that it would be great benefit to the
people of this place" "Thank goodness
for that!" yelled the deacon. But,
ladies and gentlemen" he continued,
81 am going to say that it will be impos-
sible for me to address you this evening
=" 'Thank good ness for that!" broke
! in the absent minded deacon, amidst
general laughter.-N. Y. Ledger.
|