The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1890-06-19

Well?" Is always answered in the mega,
tive. Philadelphia Press.
Wife-'If l were to die tonight, dar.
ling, what would you do?n Husband
= Telephone for the undertaken,
presume. Washington Star.
Employer-"Well, Patrick which is
the bigger fool, you or I?' Patrick
'Faith, | couldn't say, sor but it's not
mesilf surely."-Boston Budget.
Mrs. Youngwife- Did you ever try
any of my biscuits. Judge?n Judge
No, | never did; but | dare say they
deserve IT, IonkerS Statesman.
Matchmaker = These works are
very rusty" Seedleigh-"Well, they
ought to be; that watch has been in
soak for six months. ."-B0stom Herald.
Young Brindle-"Pa. can't have a
flannel shirt like yourS?n Mr.. BrindIe
(speaking from eXperience)- -'.My son,
YOU may have this after it's washed. y
Ljpp!ncotts.
Sympathetic Housewife (to ragged
tramp Poor man, you garments
are sadly frayed." Tramp-''Yes, in-
deed, mum, 'iraid of the dorg. ."-Ptita-
delphia Press.
Bobby-"Why do they have that big
lantern in front of the engine, papa?''
Papa (with memories of the past)-
'To warn travelling actors, Bobby. .
Teas SJti'2yS.
Il noticed as came in,'' said Harold,
with a pleased look. that your father
has chained the dog" Yes, papa saws
he don't think you agree with him. >
Washington Post
Painter to the County Judge, who is
visiting his studio-'.Now. this is nv
first picture. What is your Judgment
on it?" imprisonment for life only. y
Philadelphia Times.
Officer (before guard mount) -
What's the countersign?n Private
Sootley-'O, there are lots of them.
Bargains III Hosiery was the nearest
to me in the store. ."-Judge.
You do not believe in a fish diet. do
you, professor? Certainly" Then
why do you say in your book on
Health DO not 90 into the water
after hearty meal?"---N I. Sun
Mrs. Slimpursc-' Anything new in
the papern' Mr.. Slimpurse- mo. ex-
cept that the husband of the woman
whose fine dresses you have been envy
ing has fled to Canada. IN Y. Week
!y.
First Sweet GiIl-''Just think The
Gar of Russia has throne that cost
S10,O ,O00.h Second S. G. = Really?
Why, that is not half as much as papa
paid for his seat in the Senate. "-Ierre
Haute Express.
dearest Laura, don't cry so! If
everything else vanishes we shall yet
have left to us memory" "Ah. dearest
Emma, then perhaps you will remem-
ber that | lent you 50 two years ago.
-f2iegende Blaetter.
Tom Cashmere -"She's not bean
ty my boy, but think of the warmth of
affection she will lavish upon you.'
Will Calico-''W Warmth Of affection be
hanged. I'm thinking of her cold cash.'
Dry Goods Chronicle.
''You say you stopped at the Skirate
Hotel all the time YOU were away?
Wasn't the bill pretty high for a man
your means?' 20, not too high. |
managed to jump it without much trou-
ble. "-Ie1re Haute cypress.
First Young Lady Cat railraod sta
tion)-''What time is it now, dear?n
Second Young Lady Cooking at her
watch)-' Mercy. We must begin say
ing good-by, dear. The train will be
here in half an hour. ~ Y. Weekly.
Hostetter McGinnis- DO YOU really
think that we are going to have real
spring weather now?n Gilhooly-'.rve
no doubt of it. | see the shadow of
the strawberry shortcake looms up no
bigger than 4 mans hand" -1eraS
S5tings.
81 am striking a great social gait, y
said Gus Hicollar. I've been to three
receptions in one week. That isn't
anything said Charley Cashgo, in a
detected tone. Il have frequently
gone to three balls in one day. y."-W Wash
tngt0n Post.
The other day in school one of the
youths was asked by the teacher: For
what is the Island of Ceylon noted?"'
And the boy answered with prompt
ness and good faith: For its postage
stamps being awful hard to GET
Boston Transcript
Mrs. De Rich listening to new prima
donna at the opera)-''I Isn't she splen-
did?n Mr.. De Rich (wealthy manu-
facturer, enthusiastically Just
grand! She's worthy of place along
side of Patti in my soap advertise
u:entS. ~ J.. Tiesk!a
In the villages of Northamptonshire.
England. fund has been started from
which to pay 4-pence per dozen for the
heads of sparrows. whose damage to
the crops has become unbearable.