New-York tribune., 1890-03-30

o,,cc a cessation n, brain work cannot he had what
then IS the next best remedy We have found II ana
take the liberty To inclosc sample OF our grca'
Headache DESTROYER Taken according 10 directions
il acts directly on tho brain, soohes The oversrnhe
nerves and induces sleep where wet towels and othcr
external applications have been tried In vain. In
view OF your continued liability to too much brain
work may we not hope for your PATRONAGE We
beg leave 10 ncose few testimonials 10 the efficacy
Of our great Headache DESTROYER and remain, Yours
with respect, The ------ w.
Boston. Mass
The Senator who received the letter with its In.
closed sample at first thought he was the victim
Of Joke but on making inquiries among colleagues
with whom he occasionally spent night out, found
that they had been complimentcd in the same way
Others who keep regular hours and are not subject 10
the headache had been overlooked The
favored senators arc wondering how the patent
medicine company learned Of their ailments Privately
they say the medicine is good thing but for some
reason they won't allow their names TO be used In
testimonials as 10 the value Of tho Congressional
remedy
They saw that nowadays whenever Senator Coke.
OF Texas comes into pcrihelion senator Harris. OF
Tennessee makes IT his especial and particular business
70 hasten into aphclion. Persons who have recently
observed the transts of Of the senate
rial constellation assert that whenever their pcricccs
reach approximation there are icclcs dangling from
tho rim Of the sun. The cause Of this strange
phenomenon l. defined hv gentleman who recently
heard a conversation between tho two senators.
"Look here said senator Harris holding out
copy of Tho Nashville American and tapping an
article with his finger have YOU this articlei'
~No.T said senator Coke; what j, IT -
"Wen sir IL j. a terrible TRADE me-"
What Of that - asked senator Coke in his biz grun
tone.
Well sir. Il written, ! believe by man
who claims be a clerk Of yours and who has access
the hoor Of tho senate a such
"what Of that'' asked senator Coke again.
"what Of that Why. sir. you going to keep
such your clerk -
why not'7
Senator Harris red as a boiled lobster.
Why. sir said he. this Is the most outrageous
abuse Of and 1t (, printed In IN" leading Democratic
paper Of my state. and are Sou going TO encourage
man write such things t, about brother Demo
cratic >cnatori7
What have got to do With IT." asked senator
Coke. Il can't stop him. ssnt control what he
writes. Why. he has larruped mo twice As hand a,
he has you.7
But sir. he has made a fool Of me and YOU ought
10 do something about IT,
senator Coke looked down at the Senator from Ten
nesscc. and with disgust smcarrd all over his face said
Harris. II would keep paper man hu,ihus
night and day to make bigger fools Of us senator, than
some of us make 81 ourselves
And As the two parted needles Of frost TO
CLINT and simmer in the ambient atmosphere.
\ gentleman from Chicago. chatting with party Of
acquananccs about u the aughahlc features ~
the testimony given by newspaper men before ihc
Dolph smelling committee. reminded Of an tx.
pcrcncc he once had with rarw ell witness.
Nr rarycn." said be. owned a l ilding on wash
ington Jointly with and wanted 10 get the whole.
% he sent an agent 10 me 10 propo-" trade ac
ocpted finally his proposition 70 give me building on
tho West SIDE and 5000 10 boot hui distinctly told
the agent would pay commissions. More than
year aitcrward the agent brought suit against me- FOR
a go claiming that the trade a 10000 trans
action and that he entitled under the law TO
per cent commission that amount As his first step
toward establishing his claim was 10 determine the
value Of the buildings he informed that he was
going to take Mr.. Farvclrs deposition: so with Our
lawyers We went at the appointed time, TO that gentle
mans Office.
".Nlr rarwel' said tho agents lawyer after the
nature Of the case had been explained TO him. did
trade building with this defendant sich and such
datcl'
Yes sir said Mr Farwcl.
".On what terms did you make the trade
al gave him $1,000 10 boot
Exactly. Now Mr.. Farwc will you please
state on oath what. In your opinion was the value
Of the budng which the said defendant traded to you
at that time =
II was worth about $1,000 more than the one
traded TO him. said Mr.. Iarwell.
The lawyer looked at first a little confused Then
a bright thought struck him.
Sow SIR said he in a mandatory tone, tell us
what you considered the building worth which you
traded 20 him.
WELL answered the witness quietly, i Thought
1t was worth about 900 css than the ono he traded
10 me-
"Thc lawyer was now in a dirnihcd rage.
Come, Sir said he. 4 not to be trihcd with
VIII YOU. sir. will'you not, tell me how much tins
building was worthP
80 SIR said Mr.. Farwcll, Il won't tell you
anything about it. Eut viii tel you something
good deal more TO the point and opening drawer In
his desk he took ont book Of check stubs
There IS the stub Of chcc. for $500 said he.
which gave TO my agent In full payment Of all com
missions, and believe there IS law In Illinois which
prevents agent from collecting commissions from
both parties 10 a transaction Now, sir. II that Is all
YOU want 10 know you may alons and let me
attend to my business
IL have seen men set bacl.n continued the Chicago
man. but never one so badly twisted out OF
shape as this lawyer / never heard another
word about the suit and ! haven't paid the Sl.25O
YET
And speaking of lawyers reminded the Chicago
man Of a story about the late Emory H. storrs, per.
haps the brightest lawyer that praotiscd In
Chicago court. \ which P'tIacting good
deal Of public attention was in course OF trial and
Mr. storrs who conducting the defence, lad
rddled tattercd every witness brought In by the
prosecution. Finally the prosecution hubpWh"h
Ben Bnlwnklc. the big, brave, clustering chief Of
the Insurance Fire Department. Eullwlnklc was
man who had first rate idea OF his own powers Of
repartcc and had commanded men long that ho
felt entire confidence in himself at all times and IN
all places lie had sat and how other witnesses
had been ripped up by storrs and had wished that he
were In their places when he subpocnacd he
about told all his friends To be at the court
the next day and sec him make a fool OF Storrs.
"Tll make him wish he had never tackled me- said
big Ben.
The next morning the courtroom crowded. The
lre-addles and all the admirers Of the brave chief
were there, bright faced with anticipation Of the
pleasure Of seeing their leader do up" the sassy
little lawyer"
Benjamin f. Bullwinkc!7 shouted the Clerk and
the witness the oath and delivered his testimony
for the prosecution. Then the cross-eXaminaon