The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-05-24
LAwYER ALLEMs FIRer McroRY.
A bad Case Made Good by Profound
oninint, from, tbo Clnasira

A Bad Case Made Good by Profound
Opinion from the classics.
Private John Allen" Of Mississippi,
who became the wit Of the house Of
representatives with the death Of Sunset
Cox. tells a good story on himself Of how
he came to be a profound lawyer
A party Of members were telling yarns
in the cloak room of the house, and when
Aliens turn came he told this one;
Il want to tell you Of the greatest legal
victory Of my life" said Allen, as he
lighted a cigar and propped his feet
against the wall in true southern style.
"lt was down in Tupelo during the trying
period just after the war was at that
time practicing lawyer-that is, prao.
ticed whenever had any cases to prac-
tice with. One day old Uncle Pompey,
one of the old negroes Of the settlement,
came into my office and said;
"Mars John, l wants you to c'lar me-
Use gwine to be rested for stealth of two
hams outen de cross road store.
"'Well, Pompey,' asked, did you
steal the hamsY
Mars John, just took 'em.
Did any one see your l asked.
"'Yas, boss said the old negro dis
consolately, two ole white buclra's,'
"'Well, Pompey, l replied, Il can't do
anything for you under the circum-
stances
Now, Mars john said old Pompey
heres ten dollars. jist want you to
try
"Well, consented to try" said Allen.
"The case was to be heard before an old
magistrate named johnson. He was
totally uneducated, and was moreover a
perfect dictator, and no negro ever came
before him who was not fined the maxi
mum penalty and sent to his field to ex-
plate the crime in the sweat of his brow.
"The magistrate heard the case. Every
possible proof was brought to show that
Pompey stole the hams. There could be
no doubt of it from the testimony. l did
not put a single question to any of the
witnesses, but when the testimony was
all in ] arose, and in my most dignified
manner addressed the magistrate;
May it please your honor, it would be
useless for me to argue before one who
would adorn the superior if not the su-
preme court bench Of this grand old
commonwealth. And / may say that
those who know you best say that you
would grace even the supreme court of
the United States. the highest tribunal
in the land. 1t will be useless to dwell
upon the testimony. You have heard it,
and know the case as well as do How
ever, it may not be out of order for me
to call your honors attention to short
passage in the old English law, which
clearly decides this case, and which, for
the moment, your honor may have for
gotten.
'Then tished down in my pocket and
drew forth, with great flourish, an old
copy of Julius Cesar. opened it with
great dignity to the first page and read
the line which is familiar to every school
boy, 'Omnia Gallia in parties tres divisa
est That decides the case, said l
throwing the book upon the table. That
clearly acquits the defendant
with great dignity and solemnity
then took my seat. The old magistrate
was completely nonpused. He looked
at me moment quizzically and scratched
his head. Then, turning to Pompey, he
raised himself to his full height and
said
'Pompey i know you stole them hams
but by the ingenuity of your lawyer I've
got to let you go. Git out, said he, as he
planted his No 9 in the seat of Pompey'c
pants, and if you ever come here again
lawyer or no lawyer, you will git six
months. Atlanta Constitution.