The Bennington banner. [volume] (Bennington, Vt.) 1858-1894, 1890-07-10
THOUGHTFUL ESSAY ON THE EVIL OF
EARLY MARRIAGE


rily discussable. A man who springs
politics at miscellaneous table is voted
a nuisance. A man who discusses creeds
at any time, or under any circumstances,
is a fool; and the philosopher who should
undertake seriously to discuss the desir-
ability or undesirability of possibly i'm
lproving the marriage condition, might as
well constitute himself at once a target
for universal bombardment
And yet?
And yet what is there to the sixty mil
lions of people of this great Nation of
more significance or more pregnacy than
that particular subject? We may as well
premise few facts: OF these sixty mil
lions of people, at least thirteen million
are married. The man does not live, be
he philosopher, cynic or humanitarian,
who can improve on the marriage rela-
tion, therefore it is that its discussion as
a rule is undesirable, particularly is it
undesirable in view of the probability
that the audience before whom it is dis
cussed would not understand either the
motives leading to the discussion, or the
arguments advanced, in their true light.
However, there are some points in rela-
ton to the matter which we may as well
look at without detriment, and perhaps
/
Early marriages, are tLey wise?
l think not.
The ordinary girl, accepting attentions
from an acquaintance which ripens into
passion and terminates in the marriage
ceremony looks at the face and figure
and at such social accomplishments as
find their normal field of Outgo in the
ballroom, at the picnic, on the prone
made, on the skating pond, during drive,
The young man, in making his selection,
chooses pretty face and cOmely figure,
a sunny disposition, a good dancer,
jolly, all round sort of girl. Now, these
two come together. Hand in hand they
enter the vestibule of marriage which
leads into the wide horizoned edifce of
subsequent existence.
At first all goes smoothly.
The young man, if Industrious and in
telligent, finds pleasure and satisfaction
in providing a cage for his bird and in
listening to her pretty carol night and
day. The first radical intrusion is that
of the baby, Papa takes the second place
then and there. Papa is still young, and
the temptations are as potent and as fas-
cinatingly so after the baby is born as be.
fore. He wants to go the theatre just
the same; he wants to drive and walk, k,or
go to dance and picnic precisely the same
after the cares of paternity are upon him
as before, but he misses the companion
ship of his wife, and not caring to go
with others and disliking to go alone, he
is compelled to give up what he believes
to be the consummation of pleasurable
existence. He is not old enough to ap-
preciate the responsibilities that are upon
him, but he does recognize the extra
| Il 70 hot &c
The youthful mother, proud of her baby,
accepts her new duties with an alacrity
which is most interesting. Every moth
er that have seen or heard of is tickled
as Punch with her baby, and regards its
intelligent smiles, and more particularly
its first tooth, with emotions as pro-
foundly sacred as they are infinitely jolly.
Her illness has made her to a certain ex-
tent exacting, and constant care of the
child withdraws her attention from her
husband. The presence of the nurse
makes it impossible for them to share
the same apartment and to certain ex-
tent their condolences are withheld, those
of the one from the other.
Thus far the money question is i'll
allegiance.
But that money question is soon put,
These two children, for that is all they
are-the man 2l and the girl 1S-like
bubbles danced upon the surface of the
placid stream till the baby came. All at
once the woman is develOped the girl
no longer exists. The wife is mother,
and whatever may be tine subtle motive,
the subtle cause, the unquestiOnable fact
is that she is no longer the same after
passing through that terrible ordeal,
after confronting that pleasurable excite
ment, than the oak is the same as the
acorn when ages of growth have passed
along the highway of time. The hus-
band is the same pushing driving, young
very young-man. His income is pre-
cisely as it was before. He has not
grown. The cares of paternity do not
develop any part of him. He is just the
same boyish fellow that he was, and he
is not companion any longer suited to
this full grown woman.
Am | right or am | wrong?
Having started along this line of fami'
ly making, children continue to come,
expenses continue to grow; the income
stays about the same and then comes the
grinding carking care, the anxiety which
is constant and a necessity for economy
The pair are compelled to give up this, ,tC
leave off that Garments must be worn
|
INDUCED in so frequently. Little ways
of saving here and there become absO
lutely essential, and it is next to an i'm
possibility, the young man thinks, fol
him to make both ends meet The wife
notices his trouble. Sometimes he i,
wise enough to tell her exactly what hi
situation is, but as rule the man pre-
fers to shoulder the burden alone an(
does his best without murmuring a
. home.
But you can't fool a woman.
There is no use-you might just a
well hang up your hat and not start ou
on that errand, for you certainly will fai
in the end. A true woman, particular,
a woman who has baby or two to stim
k ulate her bump of intuition, knows with
out being told when her husband, if sh,
, truly loves him, is worried, is bothered
is troubled, is badgered, is peTplexed, i
distressed. Lines come in her face.
t tooth or two falls out, or decays and
}. pulled out. The shabbiness Of her at
tire mortifies her. She stays indoors
takes no exercise, saves all she can, AM
o at the end of ten years she is thin, wiry
!. nervous woman, whose friends knowing
n ly nod.the one to the other and tall
about her unhappy marriage.
What made it unhappy?
IS Simply its prematureness, its too pre-
s viousness, to quote a slangism. Now, m
n paragraph is more common in our ex
= changes than that which calls attention
to the matching of elderly men wit
u comparatively young women. It's with
p in few days only that man 65 years o
g age married girl of Is, and the merr
jokers of the press, from Maine +
. Georgia, and from the sterilities of Cap
II Cod to the golden shores of California
have each and every one rung thei
n changes upon the probable amount o
money that the girl got in exchange TO
y her alleged heart. A man who makes
> fool of himself to that extent ought +
70 die, and probably will. And yet, from
mans point of view it is much bette
Y that man of 65 should marry girl O
70 Is than that a man of 30 should marry
=. woman of 80. don't know how it
" from womans point of view, but ther
70 is great deal of human nature in wome
as well as in men, and it is fair to assum
that marriages that are contracted be
= tween parties whose ages are so wild
Dc apart are based in an interest which doe
. not start from the heart, but rather froI
u an intelligent understanding of the situa
~ ~ ton, the one having money, the othe
u wanting it.
Some years ago, in conversation wit
h" an old gentleman who has now gone I
,. ,. his last accounting-th late j. Edward
IL Lester who when was boy ranke
> foremost among the literateurs of tll
y time, man whose books were found O
a every shelf, and whose works were col
y = sidered in the circulating libraries a
- - among the most interesting periodical
- - of the day-he said to me, as he pointe
10 to picture of his lifelong companion
81 have lived with that good lady fift
years. have never spoken a quick or