The Sunday morning news. [volume] (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1886-1891, 1890-08-03
Our Fish Editor Beats
Joey Dear in a Har-
rowing Tale Of the
Ocean Wave.
PIRACY DOWN THE BAY.
Special Dispatches Intercepted, But
We GET There All the Same---A
Topsy- Turyey Cruise with sour
Best Citizens. 2


About two weeks ago 1t was announced
IN the columns of our only rival, the
Euentng journal, that Mr.. Joey Dear.
its business manager, was about to sail
for Europe on pleasure trip. We re-
cetved the announcement with sus-
picion. Our bright journalistic eye could
discern plot. 1t was a subtle effort to
get beat on us. The Journal in its
effort to get ah cad OF us was resorting to
desperate me ans. Detectives were placed
on Joey's track. and we have their affi-
davits that he went on board the stea nler
In good order. On Thursd ay our Wig
lance was rewarded. The secret is
out. Our only rival published
letter It was introduced in Doctor
Pangborn's best style as from sour part
ner and business manager Parenthe-
tically 1t may be remarked that the doc
tor wished his business manager all kinds
OF good luck, which was very kind of the
Doctor, seeing that he is not a first class
freak, and it must be very hard for his
business manager to get him an engage
ment
But that letter gave the snap away, and
caused every Journalistic fibre in our
bodies to Jingle. Our only rival had got
ten q free pass on an ocean steamer and
sent Its business manager to write up the
trip and get him out of the way while the
Major pulled q string.
THE JERSEY CITY NEWS must not be
left A council OF war was called imme-
diately. It was clear that some one must
make an ocean trip. Who should go2
The managing editor was pounding
Cleveland over the back; the business
manager was hustlfng collections the
snake editor had delirium tremens from
drinking too much whiskey after a snake
bite. there was but one remedy. The fish
editor must be recalled from the Adams
Express pier, where he was catching
founders and composing lies, and sent on
an ocean voyage, whether he liked TO be
seasick or not.
A cable despatch via American District
Messenger Slowboy was sent at once. 1t
read rs follows:
RUSH.
THE JRRsEy e1ry NEWS OFFICE.
and take the first boat for Sandy Hook. Send
specials by every picnic barge you meet and
spare no expense YOU run short Of funds
him IN Trenton next winter. THE NEWS
When that message went out CT the
Office we felt easy. We knew II the boy
didn't fall asleep on the way, the fish edi-
for would get it, and mis- reputation as a
dispatches would make our only rival
sick.
The dispatches from our fish editor are
beginning to arrive. He has evidently
. strucka wild and exciting time Every
effort is being made to intercept his mes
sages but with our usual enterprise we
are getting them through.
Neap York Bay. 7:so a. M Went on
board the Monmouth as ordered by your
cable this morning. Took wife, four chill
dren, three nurses, six lemons, lunch
basket, and tin pail and shovel.
Thought it best to go in light marching
order for any emergency. A long pro-
cession comes marching down the pier to
the boat Every we'll known citizen in
Jersey City is in it, Ismell conspiracy
My wife says it'd the heat on the ham
sandwiches, but guess my nose for news
knows the difference between ham and
anarchy. Please pay the bearer 20 cents,
as the children want lemonade and Pm
rather thirsty myself, besides being short.
I'll send more later.
Neao York Bay, s q. ms-In my last
dispatch l animated that was going
down stairs to get something to drink. /
did and ran full face against the conspir-
acy. The bar was closed. Bartender said
he didn't like the looks of that Jersey
: Ci1y crowd. Terms them WOODY" Look
it up and see il it's indictable. Asked the
bartender to hide me so could discover
the plot. He did-on top OF the boiler.
It's hot, but I'll stick 1t OUT until get on
to the scheme. Wonder what would be-
come of me and the sandwiches If this
thing were to blow up-the boiler. not the
plot. I'll send more later.
Neao York Bay, $3.50 a. m.--It's outl
I've discovered til Where I sit down is
blistered, my hair is singed. my thirst
can never again be quenched. but their
game is out and was the only CORE
spondent on top Of the boiler. This is
exclusive, so please run it on the first
page with spread head and sign my
initials. It's nothing less than piracy.
The black flags at the masthead and Ed.
McLaughlin's in command. lie makes a
beautiful pirate and talks all the time.
Cleveland wanted to be the Captain Kidd
of the expedition, and both started to
speak at once. When ED. found his voice
giving out he turned the bilge pump on
Qrestes and won signal victory. Every
Jersey City man has sworn the pirates
oath and Bob Hudspeth. Eddy Dugan,
Charley Somers, Jim Clarke Mike
O'DonDell. Len Gordon and Bill Hogen-
camp are singing the pirates cho-
rus from Snllivan's opera on the
main deck. Their voices are mellow.
Henry Lembeck has preached pipe and
John Hart. Joe Noonan. Tom McDonough
and Jim Cannon are rushing the GROWER.
Upstairs chaos reigns supreme Lippin-
colt, Winfield, Bob Davis, Denny Nc
Laughlip, Paddy O'NeiIl and John Feeney
are playing freeze out. Denny wants to
raise the ante and saws II bet yer" Bob
looks sick and has thrown up his hand.
Feeney has just returned from a trip to
theside, but 81 VS.. he only gagged. Paddy