The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-21
BRIGHT BITS

HE-Has your father ever said anything to
Indicate how he likes me?
She-He has. And | think he prefers you
roasted, judging from his conversation.-Tcrre
HGtte Express.
DocToR-Take cereal food for breakfast, NV
dear sir: it will help you wonderfully.
Patient next oning)--Barkeep, gimme a
little old rye. Must follow doctors orders
Minneapolis Journal.
MuMBA-say, when two trains collide they
call it telescope, don't Uheyg
Dumey-Yes; why!
Mumby- NotEitig. only was wondering why
they didn't call it a collideoscope.- Laurence
1mericdn. iJ,f
If HEAVEN had a high board fence round it
you'd see dozens of peSky sinners trying to
climb in on each others shoulders way down in
the far corner while the gatekeeper's attention
was held by single dead-head in front.-ASIt-
land Press.
TENANT-The windows in your house shut so
badly that my hair blows about my head. You
must really have something done to them.
Landlord don't see the necessity of that
1t would be much simpler for you to have your
hair cut.-Ftegedde BlGtter.
AND how did you like the services at our
church last EVENING"
There. So it was a religious service? 1
couldn't have told whetherit was a religious
service, or a grand opera. I'm awfully near
sighted, you know. Boston Transcript.
WHAT piece are they going to sing next
sirS'' asked Rollo at the church on Sunday
morning
You mean, Rollo, y said Mr.. Holiday. what
selection. Peace, Rollo, is something unknown
among church choirs. ''-Boston Transcript
WHY, Mr. Brownstudy. am afraid you have
hurt your foot. you limp So"
80, not at all; the fact is that day after to-
morrow is my wife's birthday, and have these
last eight days been wearing pebble ia my
boot so as not to forget it, you know. File
gende Blatter.
WATTs-I suppose your wife is like most
women-never admits that she makes mis-
take.
Wickwlre-O, she occasionally asserts that
she made mistake marrying me. But she
never admits that outside the family ''-Terre
Hnttte Express
BUMMER-Couldn't yer gimme the price of a
drink boss? I'm chilled through.
PARROT (stifiy)-No; not one cent of my
money goes for liquor
hummer Credit, Ell. Let's go together, then.
to de saloon where yer have such a pull as that
- Teas Siftin0s.
WELL, my dear madam. and how are you to-
day."
30, doctor, have terrible pains all over my
whole body, and it seems Impossible TO breathe
OF course, can't sleep at all, and haven't a
particle of appetite"
But otherwise you feel all right, don't youY'
FtieQende Butter.
SrRANGER-Fine monument you've got there.
sir.
Citizen-Yes; that's in memory of my pet
game cock.
Stranger-Who's the little stone for?
Gitizen-L amt dead sure, but believe one of
my wives occupies THAT locality. Judge.
MRS. GApApour-whats sort OF person is Mrs.
Mildman, who has moved into the next house to
you?
Mrs. CHATTER II don't think niuchof her. Be-
tween You and mel thihk she Is next door to an
idiot. IL
y Mrs, Gadabout Qnnocently)-I think so, too,
my dear. "-4mrertcd. - II
+ In WeRKss BoFE ,WAgs.--Chargit,a '92-Can 1
have this put on my account here?
Mr.. Tick-Very sorry, sir. but we don't know
you.
down for me, please. Ytbu know me l believer
Dir. Hungup-7 ndostEiudortuiat we do, sir
Sorry we can't accomnodate you.-Yaie
record.