The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1890-02-22
THE ARIZONA KICKER.
Some of the Sorrows and joys of WesteI
Editorial Life.

was only nall sheet, ana Wnlcn seemed
to have been printed on cheese-press.
| EXPLANAToRY.-W owe our readers
an apology for the shape and appear
ance of the Kicker this week, and shall
| proceed to give it. Last Sunday we went
over to Silver Bend to see the boys and
rake in few subscriptions. Our Office
was left in charge of chap just from
| the East who claimed TO be George AL
fred Townsend. As we had never met
stranger Lar.
We intended to return Tues-@y morn
ing, but in this country man proposes
and mules and other things buck against
him. The internal, lop-eared, stiff
legged, pig-headed, limb-spavined beast
which we rode-a fit counterpart of our
contemporary down the street-threw
us nine times in going thirteen miles,
and we arrived at the Bend badly used
up. We hadn't yet ralled in dollar
when Lew Smith, pug-ugly whom We
assisted to run out of our town four
weeks ago, sounded his war-cry and be-
gan to encourage the Benders to hang
us. Most of 'em were on drunk that
day, and the proposition at once found
favor.
Under the pretense that we, as editor,
publisher, proprietor and city editor of
the greatest weekly in the West and
which runs as an annex, but under the
same roof, a grocery, butcher shop, feed
store, shoe store, hardware and cutlery,
had been seeking to break down the
81 |. e
hunted up rope and selected tree.
We appealed, but it only added to their
desire. We tried to argue, but they
wouldn't have it. Our editorial person
was laid hold of and hustled along to q
rope dangling from limb, and as we
looked over the crowd and failed to
catch sympathetic eye we felt that our
time had come.
The boys were white about one thing.
Drunk as they were, they had sense
enough to realize that a great editor
could not wind up his earthly affairs in
a satisfactory manner under fifteen min
utcs, and on motion Of half-breed, who
once succeeded in borrowing half a dol
lar of us, the time was increased to
twenty. We wanted to argue the case,
but it was no GO We started in on a
speech. but they whooped us down. BY
the time that we got down to business
five of our twenty minutes had fed.
During our editorial career we have
assisted at several amateur executions.
We had always supposed that if the
crowd was satisfied the victim was bound
| to be. 1t never seemed much of an eff
fort for him to let of earthly matters,
and we have sometimes wondered why
more of them didn't come forward and
ask to be pulled up to limb. Our ideas
underwent great change as we sat on
a meat-box under a dangling rope, while
the minutes hurried away like a jackass
rabbit taking the lead of a prairie fire
on a windy day. Any man who believes
he can do business under such circum-
stances is mistaken. He feels restless
and unsettled, and his mind seems to be
distributed over acres of space.
1t was only after we had lost twelve
minutes of our time fooling around that
we started in on our last will and testa-
ment, and we hadn't written three lines
of that before we suddenly recollected
| UlldO VIC "tlt NlbuOub DlDOl ltliIINb
on earth. As to leaving the Kicker and
its annex to any galoot in town was not
to be thought of, and we finally made
out bill of sale to that individual
known as William of the Hill, who has
several times appeared in our town and
attempted to run the city government
with broncho and two revolvcrS. We
didn't expect him to maintain its high
literary standard and great moral excel
lence, but we knew he'd kill the post
master and make a sieve of our contcm-
porary the first week of his editorial
career.
When time was up the moose was
placed over our head and frightened I'M
der our chin, and it admoniShed us to
observe the apparent enjoyment of the
crowd. They seemed to feel in as good
spirits as an army horse turned out to
buffalo gaaSs, and their impaticnce to
make Il pendulum of our body was an
other queer feature of the convention.
We had just been drawn off our feet,
and our editorial ideas were becoming
rapidly mixed, when a lot of passing
cow-drivers happened along and broke
up the candy pull on the ground that
they were waiting to hang us the first
time We came up there. We were saved
to be hung at Phnnix-if we ever show
up there.
We are just able to crawl around. We
have chills, sore throat, pains in the
back, headache and general feeling
that we don't care copper which party
elects the next President. We apologize
for the appearance of things this week,
and promise not to be lynched again if
in our power to avoid it.-Detroit Free
| Press.
New Brocades and New Gowns.
Gold brocades in now arrangements of
stripes and colored grounds are sent out
from Paris to combine with dresses of
plain bengaline or velvet These new
stuffs, as rich as the lampas used for
upholstering furniture, come in stripes
of contrasting colors, with golden
threads woven in vines of laurel leaves
or flowers through their center. with
thick gold cord separating the stripes.