Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1890-02-19
TANNING A HUSBAND.
The Sarcastic Advice of Woman Who
Has Ead Three of them.


HAS Ead Three of them.
Certainly-you can't scold amiss, nv
dear woman, excaims female contributor
In the New York Ledger II he hasn't done
this or that he las probably done some
thing else. Scolding clears the domestic
atmosphere; you h&ve to keep up perpet-
ual cannonading or there will be revolt.
husbands get terribly unmanageable some
times unless they are kept up to the mark.
Don't lose any time about it either. Once
let man hoist the ting of independence,
and unless you haul it down for him in
double quick time you're a lost woman.
Once allow him 10 suppose that he's nastor
OF the house. aud the first you know it twill
be- Minnie, bring me match for my clgar
that's dear" or, "Minnie, just look Tor
my cravat, will youa" or even, "MiRnie I've
brought Jones aud Howard home to dinner:
couldn't help asking em. You needn't
make any extra parade, but just get few
oysters, or lobster or something's That's
the way you'll be victiInized. Once begin
waiting on him, and youth have business
for the rest of your life. Put him down, and
keep him there.
'How?n
That's pretty question to ask The
''hows" are as thick as mosquitoes on an
August evening. Blame him for every
thing he does; make up your mind not 10 be
satisfied under any circumstance whatever
IL 1t rains, blame him because the sun
doesn't shine; If he puts his newspaper on
one corner of the mantel-piece, scold him
because he didn' I put it on the other; if he
laughs above his breath, put your hands up
to your ears. and ask him "if he supposes
you were made without nerves" II he
frowns, call him an ill-natured brute.
II he brings home tickets for the opera,
tell him you had set your heart on going 10
the theater. Ii he talks to lady, turn
jealous, go into Mysteries; If he joins q
knot Of gentlemen, tell him ''it's very plain
that his poor wife's society has no longer
any charms for him." If he invites friends
to your house, tell him that ''you don't keep
hotel" il he doc.n't invite them, tell him
he is an unsocial bear, who would like to
keep you alone the whole time. IL he has a
cold in his head, deluge the whole house
with soap-andwater and scrub-brushes; if
he suffers from toothache, insist ON having
every window in the room open, on ac-
count Of "fresh air. II he is fond of roast
turkey, see that cold pork is on the table
instead; II he likes coffee, discover, all of a
sudden, that it is not healthy, and substitute
milk and water
Don't give him his own way in any one
particular-contradct him on all occasions
tread on his toes whenever he is going to
say any thing, and then fret at him for be-
ing .'silcnt md sulky" Never allow Tim
to wear his hest coat-put him on q diet Of
one shirt a wcek-~keep the 'change" and
deal it ont to him by the half dinle-groan
at his extravaganza whenever he buys a
new hat, and hunt in all his pockets tor
strong cigars, champagne corks, peanut
shells, or any such silent witnesses to his
depravty.
Why, If you didn't keep up this constant
system Of intimidation, he might actually
beiInpudent enough to chuck You under the
chin, or pull your curls, or even kiss you
once in awhile. He might keep dinner
waiting half Il minute; he might steql one
of your little handkerchiefs out or the
bureau drawer when he sceuldn find his
| own yellow border concerns; he might
elevate his feet on tho pirlor mantel; he
might imagine home WAS place 10 enjoy
| himself Iii; he might be insane enough TO
suppose that wife liked TO wait on her
| husband!
| There Is no telling what he might not do
or say or think if he were not Judiciously
snubbed,
just follow up this systcm, however, and
you'll be pretty sure to take tue starch out
of him. Don't get discouraged if he is q
little stiff and "set in his way" at first;
two or three months of the above discipline
will make him as limp as an old dlsh-rag.
You may be obliged to fight one or two
pitched battles, but that's of no conse-
qucnce You have always one great resort
If tho day is going against you, turn on
the tours! He can't go sniveling about the
house with red eyes and swelled nose-you
cant Tears will subdue q man when the
rest of the fominiuc artillery won'tl Try it
just once, and see
That's TIC .yay to break them in, girls
No failure and warranted to cure the worst
cases no better receipt in tho whole conju-
gal pharmacor@ia fer Transforming high
spirited Young fellow into IL meek, umbrella
carrying, bill-paylng, cradle-rocking ma
chine who knows his place" aud never
speaks unless mis- vile says he may.
The Training of Children.
The training of children in those m2tters
which mark good-bleeding should begin ut
an early age. A boy tiye years old ia none