davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-03-21
EDUCATION

A Detroit father has undertaken n lit
tie educational venture with his own chill
dren aud he is trying to make them give
up slang, the use of ambiguous terms of
speech, and other peculiarities affected
by the youth of the day. Yesterday he
asked his fourteen-y year old daughter
where \ certain book was.
81 haven't an idea, papa!" answered
the young lady.
81 didn't ask you for IDEAS" said the
father sternly, "just answer my ques-
tions. Where is that book2"
con the top shelf in the book case, "
rccited the girl, like parrot.
Scan you reach it2"
"Ycs, SIR"
There was long silence, the father
waiting impatiently for the book. At
last he asked
"Ncll, why don't you bring it2"
"Bring what, sir?"
"Thc book wanted"
"You did not say you wanted me to
get it" said the daughter in dcmurc
voice, ''you asked me if l could reach
it.n
"Nellic," said the father, as a smile
made his mustache tremble, 'get that
book like good girl and bring it here
to me-"
"Now, you're talking sense, pop; I'll
have the book in jitfy," and she whisked
off after it, while the fs;hcr sighed over
the degeneracy of the times.-Detioit
Free Press.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-03-21

~ Idaho-ia-aA aking strenuous efforts to
ffecure admission to the Union But the
New York Telegram thinks that "Idaho
ought to be made to wait little longer.
The voting population of the Territory is
about 15, 600 as against As, 900 for Wash
o5Ington, 10000 for Montana, Al 900 for
8M3th Dakota and 10000 for South
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-03-21
A Good Substitute.

ladies and gentlemen" said the
professor, II find that L cannot per-
form the experiment of imitation, rs the
wind machine is out of order"
There was great groan of disap-
pointment.
However" added the professor,
suddenly, II mag be able to provide q
substitute. Is there gentleman from
Chicago i'll tho audience?"
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-03-21
WOULD RUIN Ills BUSINESS.

Plusher-"This account says that the
seals arc threatened with determination.
That would ruin my business"
Maddox-"Why, you only make imi-
tation sealskin sacques."
Plusher-"Yes, but if everybody
knew there were no genuine ones thcrc'd
be no demand for limitations. "-Munsey's
Weekly.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-03-21
UNDER ANOTHER NAME.

Druggist-"NIr. Mixer, what is all that
stuff down the cellar2"
Clerk-"oh, that's some medicine that
there's no sale for. It's brakes Diges-
ton Provocative. 1 thought of getting
the old junk man to carry it off"
Observation-Disclosures? Change the
name. Call it the Influenza Annihilator,
and we'll get rid of it fast enough. p
Boston Transcript.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-03-21

f-slavery Society of Great
= ifiin iHSFganizing an armed expedi-
Eon to proceed to Lake Tanganyika, in
@Central 4rica. The object is to police
the lake lad prcveththe passage of slave
caravanS The country to the west Of
Tanganfka has for years been the chief
source / slaves.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-03-21
A PLEASANT RECOLLECTION.

Friend-"NIisss Brown, let me intro
duce to you Mr.. Garlay."
Garlay (bashfully)-"I think I've met
you before, Miss Brown"
Miss B.-"Indeedl 1 do not recall
it."
Garlay (still more bashfully)-" think
pushed you down stairs about thirty
years ago, when l was. young. "-Bazar.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-03-21
WHAT CAUSED TnE ExcIrE,1ESr.

WHAT CAUSED THE EXCITEMENT.
'Look here, Maria" said Mr.. Town
ley, rs he looked in to the pitcher which
he brought in from the milk wagon at
evening.
'What's the matter?"
"There's something wrong with this
milk"
81 doesn't look exactly right, does it?''
said Mrs. Townley after close scrutiny.
"And it tastes funny" she added, as she
slipped little from tea spoon.
"l'll find out what the matter is. Hi
therc-hi! hi" and Mr. Townley rushed
after the wagon. Half dozen boys took
took up the chase, and after the process.
sion had travcrsed couple of blocks
MIR. Townley slSillfully Guiding the eff
forts of policeman to detain him, he
gained the side of the wagon.
"Whats the matter with that" he
asked laconically, us showed the pitcher
up to the driver.
That functunary tasted the contents,
and then exclaimed: "Well, I'll be dog
goned! If we didn't forget to skim the
milk this morning" Merchant Trareler.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-03-21
bridge across the English Channel

bridge across the English Channel
E8 Dot among the improbabilitics of the
lure. The project is pronounced feas-
zRole by competent engineers, and late
number of the Scientific american con-
tains the plans and estimates for such n
structure, which we're discussed at {.
meeting of the Iron and Steel Institute at
Paris during the past year.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-03-21
EXCHANGE OF counrEs1Es.

Mr.. Younger (meeting Miss Winters
on the streeD-"Why, how do you do2"
Miss Winters with u cold stare)-"You
have evidently made mistake, sir"
Mr.. Younger-'I beg n thousand par
dons-I mistook you for your mother"
-Ep0ch.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-03-21
THINGS ARE CHANGED

Bclle-"Augustus is changed since we
got married"
Nell-''In what respect, dear9"
Belle--"Hc used to say that what
would make me happy would make him
happy; and now he doesn't seem to care
to make himself happy at all. Yankee
Blade.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-03-21
AFTTR A LONG SILENCE.

Miss Robust-"What did you remark,
Mr.. Pendegs st2"
Mr.. Pcndegast-tAw, 1 didn't say
anything"
Miss Robust-"Well, suppose you
do"
Mr.. Pendegast-"What shall I say2"
Miss Robust-"Say, for example,
good night. y Time.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-03-21
COMFORTING.

Professional Northumberland you
please help me, sir; have only one leg,
sir, and l am cold an"
"Why, my dear man, you have de-
cidcd advantage over me in having only
one foot to get cold; good day. Thine.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-03-21
BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SKETCHES FROM
VARIOUS SOURCES. -za,..
Two Extrcmcs-Comforti sis>7,;is
ant .Rccollection-TB{4 !: S
Changed-Aftcrn',ssst .,ssifs ~
Silence, Etc, Etcs 4

The man without an ovcrcoat
30 Will brave the coolest storm, ...-..-
And smile serenely rs he gasps,
by lingo, it is warm~
The chap who has new. topcoat.
That garment he will wear,
Even il the weathers close and hot.
And say: "How raw the ARP
-NetU York Journal.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-03-21

We have been called upon of late to
notice some big potato stories, vouched
for by American growers, and now we
have an English contribution to swell the
;-t
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-03-21

The Car of Russia has been nearly
teTifed out of his senses by the complete
success of the military revolution in Bra
: I'll, as the spectacle of whole army So
suddenly turning round at the instigation
of popular General is indescribably
shocking and startling to the ruler of
an empire as Russia, where the sta.
bility of the throne and dynasty entirely
depends upon the fidelity of the army,
and every one is aware that discontinued
Generals are by no means unknown in
Russia. The Cars first step has been
to stop the hidcous prosecutions OF NJ.
- Pobedonetszeff, the chief OF police, who
,Sen practically the ruler of the EN-,
considerable period. Tens OF
& ebrcws, Protestants and
s
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-03-21
HIS SUSPICION JUsr1FrApLE.

"Jenny, "said the young man, as they
met on the corner, "is it possible you
have been dcceiving r'e2"
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-03-21
Not Well Acquainted.

The Camel-'Hcrel keep your tail out
of my foddern
The Elcphant-"Well, you needn't get
your back uDl"-TNck.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-02-01

her in the room. She says that he at
one time during the night appropriated
the bedclothes to his own particular
use and forced her to be exposed to the
chill night air for a considerable space
OF time, and that he also kicked her out
OF bed. In her claim for alimony she
says he. was formerly sawyer, and
earned IS per day. Mckay is a we'll
known pool player and an expert with
the cue. BE now runs a billiard hall at
1904 Washington avenue north. He is
twenty-seven years old, and the plaintiff
but eighteen.
Grace Root asks for a divorce from
George Root, and wants back her
maiden name of Grace Merrill. The
couple were married in Minneapolis on
the 18th of October. 1886. and began
their troubles almost Immediately after,
when he began to show a GOODNESS for
her and allege that her family were not
up to his standard. and he therefore
would have none of them. He made a
practice of exhibiting a studied dislike
toward all her friends, and finally took
her to California, where he did not con-
tribute to her support. He also forced
her to have an operation performed
which resulted in an abortion, and in
sisted that they should have no issue.
He is still in California, or some place
unknown. where she left him and went
to her friends in Minneapolis. She is
twenty-one years of age, and her huS-
band thirty.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-02-01
THE MILITIA AND THE LAW.
One Member Of the Battery Must
apDear Feb. 3.

Appear Feb. 3.
August L. LindQuist was IN the court
house yesterday afternoon, and was
talking with friends over the indignity
he had suffered in being dragged into
the municipal court on the paltry charge
of not attending drill. When he ap-
peared In the morning he pleaded not
guilty, and the hearing was set for
Feb. 3.
When seen by reporter, his hair had
not yet settled into its normal condl-
ton. and bristled with the indignation
that he could not control. He said that
his friends had advised him to plead
guilty and pay fine and have 1t over
with, but it appears that the young man
Is made of sterner stuff. and says tnat
he is determined to fight it out.
Deputy Peterson. 'sThis Charley Ben
nett came to me one day-it was Sun
day, tOo-and wanted me to sign the
roll. He said that he only wanted me
to sign so that some of the other boys
would sign too. After had signed the
blamed thing he bowled up the rest of
the fellows on Swedish punch and
miXed-up mess, ana after he had them
feeling pretty gay he got their sigma
lures | tell you won't pay the fine,
and I'll fight it if have to go to the
work house.
He stamped around and vented his
wrath in choice adjectives, while the
polite deputy advised him to plead
guilty and have the matter over.
''I'Il tell you what" said Lindquist
savagely, 'fif | am sentenced Pli go to
prison before pay you darned cent"
Meanwhile the other members of the
troop are seeking sequeStered places,
and are in momentary expectation of
being nabbed by limb of the law and
hurried before the august presence and
lowering frown of the municipal court.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-02-01
HorELKEEPERs' CONVENTION
The OffIcial Call Issued for Tues
Oay, Feb. H.

ut olHCIdl Sdkl LSSuOO AOH uO5.
day. Feb. II.
The movement to organize a hotel
keepers association in Minnesota has
at last come to head land the following
official call has been issued by ID. E.
Roselle. editor of the Railway and
Hotel News, under instruction of the
committee designated at recent meet
ing of the h0telkeepers of Minneapolis
and st. Paul:
Agyeeably to the generally expressed
desire of the many hotel proprietorS OF
ST. Paul. Minneapolis and other cities
and towns of the state of Minnesota, it
has been decided to call meeting of
the hotel proprietOrs and managers of
the state at the West hotel, Minneapolis.
MIMI, on Tuesday, Feb. II, 1890, at
1880 a. m. Col. John T. West
having kindly given the use of a
meeting room gratis for the Occasion),
for the purpose of organizing an Hotel
Keepers Protective and Beneficial As
ISOLATION of the State of Minnesota. 1t
is. of course, unnecessary TO revert to
the unquestioned benefits to accrue
from such an organization, and it is
hoped you will feel sufficient interest
In the general welfare of the business
in this state to be present at the prelim-
mary meeting.
Kindly notify me by mail at once if
you will attend. In event of your inabil-
ity to be present, please Indicate your
representative. This is important.
BY order of the committee.
D. E. RosELLE.
John T. West, West hotel, II. l..
Rockfield, Nicollet house, Minneapolis;
D. S. Hayward, Grand Central hotel, st.
Cloud; Clarence Saulpaugh, The Saul
paugh, Mankato; Eugene Mehl, Hotel
Ryan, Summers & MoDfort, Winds or
hotel, st. Paul, committee.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-02-01
AMUSEMNNr rs.

Miss Clara Morris presented "Article
Az last evening at the Grand opera to a
fashionable and exceptionally enthusi-
astic audience.
East Lynne" the ever popular
drama, will be the attraction at Harris
theater this week, with the eminent
actress. Miss Ada Gray, as Lady Isabel
and Madam Vine. In these characters
Miss Gray is said to have no superior on
the American stage, and. as she is sup
ported by an excellent company, an adj.
mirable production is anticipated.
The 'Keep 1t Dark" company con-
cludes its engagement to-day at the
Harris theater with afternoon and even
ing performances.
There will be matinee production of
"a Runaway Wife" by Mckee Rankin
& Company at the BijOu opera house
this afternoon.
Rose Hill's English Folly company
gives matinee and evening perform
ances at the Pence to-day.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-02-01
IN MUNICIPAL COURT.
Cases of Interest Before Judge
MahOney Yesterday.

Cases of Interest Before Jud ge
Mahoney Yesterday.
Judge Mahoney yesterday decided
that the point raised by Attorney Ed A.
Stevens, in his motion to dismiss the
charge against his client, John
Foley, the ex-street commission
er of the First Ward, was
we'll taken on the ground that
the council had no right under the city
charter To pass an ordinance providing
for the punishment of city official who
failed to turn over city property at the
expiration of his term OF Office. Mr..
Foley was released from custody, and it
is probable the city will have to defend
suit for the recovery of his salary as
street commissioner.
Jack Dempsey and James Riley were
before the court charged with drunken
ness. Both men had been before the
court many times before. Jack is
known as 1.-The cane man." and is said
10 be the inventor of the leather canes
which are made at the workhouse and
Saltwater. He is first-class mechanic,
but drink has had the best of him of
late years and most of his time recently
has been spent at the wOrkhouse. Judge
Mahoney sent the pair back to Superin-
tendant West for ninety days each.
h. L. Wilcox was charged with dis
orderly conduct. He was arrested at
the instance of E. Cell, who brought the
whole neighbQriloOd INTO court to try
and convict Wilcox. They had sue
ceeded in making things look rather
black for the stalwart hickman
when he took the stand in his
own behalf and told very diff
GRANT Ia fnstiHnd fhof he
witnessed Giel making an unprOvOked
assault on lad named Charles Rodgers.
Cell had the boy down and was pound
ing him numerically when he went to
the boys assistance and pulled the man
away from him. Then MIR. Cell started
in to 'lick'' the hack driver, but he
got considerably the worst of it,
Charles Rodgers cOrrobOrated Will
cox and made charge of as
sault and battery against Cell. Judge
Mahoney complimented Wilcox for what
he had done and discharged him. The
court then read Mr.. Gef lecture he
will not soon forget and sentenced him
to pay fine of S. for mis- assault on
Rodgers. Cell didn't have the money
with him and sent his son out to get it.
When young Cell returned with the
money he almost paralysed Clerk Smith
by inQuiring ''if there wasn't something
off for cash?''
Ed Manson was sent to the workhouSe
yesterday for twenty days, for stealing
twenty-five yards of carpet from B.
ThurSton.
James Holman and John ByTnes.
two young men who "coulnn't tell much
about themselves" were arrested by
Officer Hoban OH Portland avenue, on
Thursday night, after he mad noticed
them going into Railways and acting in
a suspicious manner. Byrnes had
picklock made from button hook,
which he said he used to pick nuts with,
al guess you were after overcoats last
night" remarked the court as he SEN
fenced them to thirty days in the work
house on the charge of vagrancy.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-02-01
Welded AT HUDSON.
Two Weli-Known Young People
Create q Sensation.

Two Weli-Known Young People
Create a Sensation.
An elopement and romantic we'd
ding which will create something
of a sensation In society circles
has come to the surface. The parties
to the pretty little romance are
Solomon Hetfelfinger, more Familiarity
known as "Solly'' Heffelfnger. the son
OF Maj. Q. B. Heffelfinger, president of
the North Star Boot and Shoe company.
and Miss Celia BYrnes, daughter of
Mrs. Catharlne Byrnes, who resides
at 100 Western avenue. The
young couple went to st. Paul
last Tuesday to attend the Irish-Amer-
lean ball at the Hotel Ryan. Whether
THIS was part of pre-arranged plan of
elopement, or whether they acted upon
the impulse of the moment, is not
known: but, at any rate, tue day
following they left st. Paul together,
going to Hudson. Wis, it is thought,
where they were married. kilograms
were received from Saltwater. Thurs
day. by the families of each, stating
that they were married and would re-
turn Saturday. To say that the
announcement created surprise, but
feebly expresses the situation, as
no one had the slightest inkling of the
young complies intentions. The bride
is very attractive young lady of the
brunette type, who has been quite
prominent in society gayety for several
seasons past, and the groom is pOpu-
lar young man of twenty-five years.
who has been employed in the office of
the North Star Boot aud Shoe Conway.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-02-01
DIVIDED rur. PARISH.
Rev. Byrne to Be Pastor of tn
immaculate COncenfiOn.

Rev. Byrne to Be Pastor of the
Immaculate Conception.
Since the elevation of Rev. James
of Duluth. the parish of the lmmacu-
late Conception has been practically
without pastor. owing to the Illness of
Rev. Henry McGOlriek. During the
present week Archbishop Ireland has
divided the parish, appointing Rev. j.
Z. Byrne pastor of the immaculate
Conception and Rev. A. Christie pastor
of the new parish in North Minneapo-
lis. The appointment of Father Byrne
will be hailed with delight by all the
Catholics of Minneapolis. who love ami
revere him. The new pastor was born
in Byrneville, Mimi, and received his
early schooling in the city to which he
is soon to he transferred. About six
years ago he went to Ronie.entering the
Propaganda college, where he pursued
his clerical studies and was ordained.
He was one of the brightest scholars of
his class, having particular aptitude
for and being most proficient in the
languages, ancient and modern. After
ordination he came to Minneapolis,
where he spent year at the lmmacul-
ate Conception church under the direc-
ton of Father McGOlrick. He was then
transferred to the cathedral parish, st.
Paul, and has acted since as tue arch
bishops private secretary, in addition to
performing the ordinary priestiy func-
tions. He is about thirty-twO years of
age. but Notwithstanding his youth. is
possessed of great deal of executive
ability. Modest and unassuming of dis
position, mild and affable in manner, he
is beloved by all who know him and his
departure will be sincerely regretted by
the Catholics of st. Paul.
Rev. A. Christie, WHO'S to take charge
of the new parish In North Minneapolis,
received his clerical education in Mon
treal, where he was ordained about ttir-
teen years ago. After ordination he
came to Wasera, this state. where he has
remained ever since. A man of untir
ing energy and great force of character,
his labOrs in the cause of religion have
been marked with great success. The
Catholic church and paIochial schools
at Waseca, which are second to none in
the state, are evidences OF his push and
perseverance. He is about forty years
OF aye and has the reputation of being
an earnest and forcible sneaker.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-02-01
MINNEAPOLIS GLoBULEs.

The wife of John Newton. chief Of the Mil
waukee depot police, died last evening Of
pneumonia.
The members Of the city council viii meet
at the city hall at 7:3 this evening, to attend
Mayor Babb's reception in body.
Charles Doughzette, who committed sui
eide in North MINNEAPOLIS by taking car
bolie acid. will be buried from DANA hall
Sunday afternoon.
The Lake Street Development association
will hold its regular monthly meeting to-day
at 80 p. m, at the Office of Coffin & Glynn,
$50 Boston block.
There will be a meeting of all the coopers
IN the city at Labor Temple next Tuesday
evening. All coopers are requested to be
present. as business of importance will be
transacted.
A Lincoln was arrested yesterday by
postotice inspector on the charge of robbing
letter boxes. He will be arraigned before
the United States commissioner for hear
ing today.
The Fuller Laundry company filed articles
Of incorporation yesterday. The incorpora-
tors are A. L. Danforth, c. Fl. Danforth and
n. P. Whiting, of Minneapolis. The capital
stock is S3O.Ou0.
The Andrew Presbyterian church has not
yet secured pastor. Rev. William Kincaid,
OF San Francisco, who has been called unan.
imously, is now the guest of Prof George e.
Mclean, Of the university.
The Jobbers' association have changed
their quarters from 1u9 Hicollet avenue to
ITO Hennepin avenue. special meeting
was held yesterday morning and Sl.5UU was
voted TO the Dakota sufferers, to be equally
divided between North and South Dakota
The second evening of Gustavus John
sons musirales took place at Dyer hall last
evening. The hall was filed 20 over1owlng
and the concert was in every way worthy of
The attendance. Those who took part were
repeatedly encored, and were very kind in
responding 10 the wishes of the audience.
A general overhauling of the machinery
and system OF the Palisade mill is I'm pro-
gTess, and large amount of money will be
spent on the improvements. 1t is intended
TO increase the capacity of the mill to about
$500 barrels daily by the changes and not
far from four weeks will be consumed in do.
ing it.-Northwestern Miller.
The bank clearings for January, 1890.
show an increase over January, 1859. The
total this year is S19,u4S,7l6.ll. against
Sl6,969, S05.5G last year. The past week
alone shows all increase of nearly million
over the same week last year, the totals being
S3,536, 10 t.56, against Seas, 645. 3D. The
clearings yesterday were S7U6, 0Sl.02.
The aggregate output of the mills for the
week was III, 740 barrels-averaging 1923
barrels daily-against 1l8,9S0 barrels the
preceding week and "a, 100 for the CORE
spending time in 1889. The depression In
the flour market is not without its effectupo
The mills there being tendency all the time
to reduce the production. Two, of 3,0u0
barrels capacity, which ran last week. are
inactive now. This makes eleven mills out
OF total OF twenty-five that are idle.