The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1890-12-26
HIS MISERY GAVE HIM AWAY.

particularly offensive.
"Ha, hn!" said one of them, che
thinks he's fixed that pie to look
like u bouquet, but l Gun smell the
Then he poked his cane ut the pic,
and his companions barked. This
insult to his hest girls mince meat
made Billy's blool boil, but some
how he couldn't do anything to re.
sent 1t. While he was resolving to
get vengeance, Il Zig man came
along and snt down on the pie.
Then he arose and began to abuse
Billy for leaving it in tile way. This
was adding insult to injury, but
lsilly's bashfulness about the pie had
Slapped his courage and lie could find
no words to reply. Instead, he
hurried into another chr. This an
peared to be full OF pretty girls, and
they oil giggled in unison when Billy
came in with his load. Every seat
was occupied, and Billy had to stand
upand bestaredat. The pie was SO big
that Billy had to hold it in both
hands, SO LIE couldn't hold on the
strap. Consequently, when the train
went round suddEn curve Billy sat
down in n girls lhp. She stuck a
shawl-pin into hb back, and he
arose almost as nltuptly us lie had
slt down. Then tlh car went round
another curve and billy dropped the
pie into the lap Of n tern faced maid-
en- lady, and being unable to check
his momentum, he threw both arms
around her neck, Willie his head fell
on his shoulder.
She screamed murAerin his ear In q
voice that hurt him worse than til.
shawl-pin. He succeeded in regain
ing his equilibrium, but not the pie.
The ancient maiden hung on to that,
and, with the Curiosity Of her sex, she
enlarged u hole " the paper md pro-
ceedcd to cxalAine tho contents.
Then she favorM the passengers
with some uLfaVjrable criticisms on
the texture of We upper crust, and
concluded by advising Billy not to
eat it II he valued his life; after which
she gave tho pie back to him with
the remark that b. would better be.
stow his valuable attentions ON O
girl who knew SOMETHING about cook
ing. He WIS about to ask her ironic.
ally If she wanted him to take that
rs u proposal when the train reached
the bridge, and everybody hurried
out. In the confusion umbrellas.
canes and elbows innumerable were
punched through the pie, and it was
badly wrecked when Billy reached the
bridge cur. The crowd which had
filed out Of the train crowded
the bridge cur, and everybody
appeared to have heard about
Billy and his pie. Girls Uttered
and whispered critisims about the
pie-man rs lie walked aboard. 1t
seemed an endless journey across,
and in the L train on the other side
things were no better. A series of
gers. The fear of these Industrious
but inconsiderate people had no SOON
er crossed his mind than he heard
whispering voices behind him.
"Get onto de cove. said one. "Pipe
de blooming bundle dat he's n.carry-
in so careful. Must he full o. sway"
Let's do him up." said another.
i"I'll club de lie out of him while YOU
collar de Doodle. See?"
Billy tried to run and struggled to
GET voice enough to howl police, but
g-otesque ind huniliating adven.
: tues attended his progress up town,
anl when he alighted in Harlem he
| wat in condition half way between
profanity and hysteria.
TIN street through which he had
to plss had always been dark, but
he ntyer had known 1t 80 black Us
on tlis particular occasion. He
! was glad to have the pie shrouded
in this welcome gloom, but the un.
usual Cur kneSs suggested snndbag-
before - do either, he felt the
deadly s,ndbs:s' knock his hat to
everlastin, ruin, and then lie sank
upon the pavement, while the pie was
/ wrenched rom his hand. His last
+, thought was that he was glad to get
| rid Oft. $500
A moment later he heard hurry.
ing steps approaching, and u police
man ran upsso his side. He was
carried to he home, where he
tossed about in agony oil night.
In the morning On officer came 10
tell him that tie thieves had been
caught md he must come to court
and identify then. He FASTENED to
obey. A line of men was placed be-