The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1890-01-06
MOVING IN GOTHAM.
Trials of the Mover and the Moved
In the Great City.
Correspondence Of the Press.

NEW YORK, Jan. 2.-The plumbers of
the apartment house districts have
yielded the palm to the furniture NOV
ers. | would rather be furniture
mover, with lien on the patronage of
any two west side streets between Fifty
third and Sixty-fourth, than proprietor
of a summer resort hotel. 1t is the sur
est and safest cash business in the world.
have seen one of these modern pluto
Gratis paid 50 twice in two months for
moving $4 worth of furniture one block
and seven pairs of stairs. That is, the
furniture would not sell for 81 after the
second moving. And every day in the
year this mover is busy from morning
till night at the same rates. His big
covered vans outnumber two to one on
any day in the week all the milk
and grocery wagons that frequent the
neighborhood. 1t is safe to say that there
are families in at least three of the streets
in the territory named who have the full
benefit of their household effects less
than nine-tenths of the time, for they
move regularly once month, and at the
lowest estimate the tearing up, the NOV
ing and the bringing of order out OF
chaos again consumes four days and as
many nights. The subject is the more
bewildering in that the closest inquiry
fails to discover the ghost of reason
why these families should move at all.
There is Jones, for instance. During
the last year Jones and his family have
devoted one-teneh of their time to
vibrating between Sixty-second and
Sixty third streets. If Jones kept q
diary-which, between the tearing up
and laying down of carpets, he has not
time to dot would read like this:
Jan. 31.-Moved one block from third
'or four room apartment to fifth floor
SIX room fiat. Bought new carpets and
parlor set. Smashed pier glass-bad
colds all around-d-!
Feb. 2S.-AIoved back to four room
apartment. Gave away carpet-smash-
ed parlor set--worse colds -!
March 31.-Moved around the corner
to eight room fiat where Mrs. j. can
keep two dodgers who will pay all the
rent and installments on new furniture.
Then fell down stairs with washtub full
of china and charged extra for same
colds still growing worse-thank good
ness, this is the last time.
May Moved to former fifth floor
six room fiat. Lodgers swindlers-fur-
niture men foreclosed-everything else
getting very shabby rheumatism -
- -! This is the LAST time!
Etc, etc., with variations throughout
the remaining months of the year.
But the strangest, most inexplicable
feature of the problem is that the NOV
ers are not satisfied. thought it would
be meritorious act, one to be proud of
in after years, to probe through this
dissatisfaction, impale the grievance
and hold it up to public sympathy. To
this end, devoted an entire day to
viewing the subject from the standpoint
of Muggins & Son, who Move Household
Goods with Intelligence and Care.
Muggins & Son have two vans. Mug
gins drives one and Son drives the other.
At sunrise Muggins set out, with his
helper, to move the Jenkinses back into
the Slocums's Sixty-second street fiat,
while at the same hour Son and his
helper started forth to move the Slocums
back into the Jenkinses' Sixty-third
street fiat. Muggins & Son were in q
lively mood, and having each taken an
inaugural sip from two small, dark col
ored bottles kept under the horse blank
cts on the van seats, they separated jovi-
ally, with tie remark and response:
"Now, Jack. here goes for the regular
monthly struggle with the Jenkinses' ex-
tension table"
''All right, pop, and here goes for the
regular monthly wrestle with the Slo-
Gums rattan baby crib--hoop Lar
The fortunes of Muggins and the Jen-
kinses' extension table were varied and
impressive The six legs of that cele-
brated piece CT furniture had not grown
hairs breadth shorter during the last
thirty days, and the lynx eyed landlady
was on hand as usual to see that no paint
was knocked off the door jambs.
BE careful and not scratch the top"
said Mrs. Jenkins.
"Look out! Don't break the legs"
yelled Mr.. Jenkins
''Stop! Stop! You're marring the
paintr screamed the landlady.
Muggins sat down ON the carpet and
scratched his head. The door of the pri-
vate hall was an inch and a half mar
rover than the other doors, and there
Muggins, his helper and the table stuck.
''If knew how the blasted thing came
in," said Muggins, 'Id get it out if it
took leg"
mot table leg" said Mrs. jenkins,
warningly.
''No," said Muggins; zone of mine or
Pete's. Anything that will come in
through door viii go out through the
same door. But how did the internal
thing get in? That's the question"
"You ought to know" said Jenkins.
"You brought it in yourself month ago
for three dollars, and now you're charg-
ing me four to take it out. 1t will pay
you to keep note of such cases for fu-
ture reference
''Stupidr' calculated Mrs. Jenkins.
"By your own confession you are the
man it would pay to keep such notes."
They stood the table on its side They
stood it on its end. They pulled it out
to its full length and got one pair of legs
through. But the middle pair stuck fast
and the others poked themselves through
the kitchen door and hooked on to the
jamb with grip of death. After half
an hour of general perspiration and pro-
family, the tables protest against being
moved weakened enough to enable Mug
gins to break its grip on the kitchen door
post.
Nov, Pete, said Muggins to his help
er. shut her up"
Pete shut her up with such good will
that two of Jenkins fingers are in mourn.
ing for the other three to this day.
But still those middle legs stuck.
"Ahr' said Muggins, 'Ive an idea.
We took the door off its hinges"
This was no easy task, for the hinges
were rusty. When at last the door came
off, Pete had black eye and there was
no nail on Muggins' left thumb. Still
the table stuck. Suddenly Mrs. Jenkins
had an inspiration.
"Why, how stupid" she said; "why
don't you take off the castors?"
"Hoop-lar' said Muggins, excitedly,
forgetting to nurse his nailless thumb;
IVY that's the way we got her inn
"You had better remember it," re-
marked jenkins in the bitter tones of a
smashed fingered man whose wife is
afflicted with the moving mania; "you
had better remember it, for we'll be
moving back here this time next
month";
Meantime how Jared it with Jack ant