Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1890-02-05

she could patch it with the trail of be
dress, and leave plenty to spare to trip folk
up on"
Grandper always kin talk eff he wants &c
and the folks they all jest set and laughe
to hear how good he gave it to that oil
gentleman, and he never so much as an
swered up, and we couldn't hear what JEFF
erson said for the noise; but he went out
and the young lady. she jest tainted dea,
away. ! was sort of sorry for her. Blu
Jane said she was sure she painted, fur sh
saw white on her nose, and then her pa, b
Jest walked about and talked to himself uu
til she came to, and then he told her she't
got to marry somebody or other-I forge
names 80 easy that can't tell you who i
was-and she said she'd die fast, and wen
onto her KIN es. Then folks called; ant
they all had tea, and nobody so much a
pulled the shade down, and some ladies tina
came they talked. and a gentleman he mad
love to the young lady jackson wanted, ant
it was real interesting, but there warn't nc
horses nor no dancing, only after awhile
they did pull the shade down, and the ban(
came out Of the cellar doors and playe(
again.
.'Perhaps the theayter will begin now,
says grandper; "but l don't see no tigh
rope"
But in little while in the band wen
again, and the shade went up, and there
was jackson. 1t didn't look like the same
lroom, and he said he was jest home ano
was tired, and grandper said:
Gay, sy, you had orter keep early hours
Jackson"
Then jackson he said be had the mos
awful preseutiments Of suthin another
| n, nj and said.
''Don't fret, my boy. Your ma is well
and the rest of the folkses tolerahle."
And then Jackson laid down on the sofa
and went to sleep, and everything got blue
and there must bev been an organ some
where playing hymn tuue, and there wuz
somebody peepin' in at the winder. It wn1
the gentleman that had firted with the 10 W.
necked girl, and there wuz two awful tramps
with him.
Then one tramp says:
"Is that our man, master?"
And the gentleman says, "Yes," and
told them that he had paid them we'll, and
they must not slight their work.
I thought he wuz going to have the car
pets shook, but when the other tramt
raid:
"Ay,g ay, ssmaster! Dead men tell nc
tales" | got keered, aud then the gentle
man went away and the tramps got in al
the winder, and came tiptoe down toward
Jackson Jefferson. And one of 'em took
ouS a big knife and the other hankerchuf,
and it wuz jest as plain as anything they
meant to kali him
Grandper jumped up to his feet again:
Jackson" he hollers; but Jackson did
not wake up.
"Jackson!" yells Eben. but he never
stirred, and the tramps was tiptoeing along.
"Come on, grandper," says Eben.
SAY, my boy" says grandper.
Jane, she shruck most fearful.
l saw grandper rush up the aisle, club
bing his um mbrella, and Eben doubling his
fist. All the congregation jumped up aud
laughed aud shrieked, and l saw Eben
catch the biggest tramp by his collar, and
grandper catch hold of the other one by his
belt, then the shade came down, aud the
band came out of the cellar doors aud play
ed away, and every body laughed until up
went the stade and out came stout gen.
tlemsn with bald bead. aud says he:
"Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to en-
treat your patience. The interruption
caused by Misrepresentation on the part of
a venerable guest from the country, who
carried away by the realism of the scene,
bravely few to the relief of the hero, shall
be but brief. Thanking you for your cour-
tesy and good feeling, offer you my apol-
ogies and regrets"
Then he cen most turned summerset
bowing, and everybody clapped and pound
ed, and the congregation sat down, and the
young man in the tail coat come fetchin'
graudper and Eben to their seats. Eben
was the color of an egg plant and grandper
was like red flannel all over. Their collars
and ties was tore off, and Eben's sleeve
was pulled out.
Come along, gals" says graDdper.
ssFur my part side with your aunt Bng
ham and the dominic for evermore. l Lever
seen such carvings on, and don't want to
see such ag'in. I'll cut jackson Jefferson
of. with a nickel. Eff l did M Ike mistake
he might hev said, Much obliged fur yer
good intentions. grandper,' or, 4 haven't
90 need of assistance, but thank you kind
ly. Instead of that he called me an old
idiut. Now, amt no idjut, as he'll fud
out when my will is road"
81 be,n says Ebeu, ''tbe darndest idjut
goin' 1t was all takin' of, HsLner; but
who wus to know it? It's a massy the
ap'in or he'd be huag aud me, too, fur all
know, fur helpin' him."
The fat gentleman spoke real pretty
about it," says l. ''Suppose we sit still
now we know it is takin' off, aud see il
oul?'
But they wouldn't, so we all went Jaue
was in highstrlkes, and Hammer spilled tbs
bottle of lemonade, and the handkerchuf
came united, and all the apples vent bob
bing up the aisle, ard Jane left the cruller,
in the seat. But kept the peanuts, and
handed them round in the cars, though no
body didn't seem to enjoy them none, ane
we amt never had no tickets fur the theay
ter from Jackson Jefferson Bingham since
Though his ma says he's comm homo te
take place in the store agi-', and Jane il
be iunin' to crimp her hair once more, anC
has bought her new plaid dress, and il
maxim it quite cheerful,