Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-11-23

dollar chef de cuisine. "if anything gets
within ten feet of the stove it's bound to be
cooked"
"But won't he burn9" said Maude. "I
should think one of us ought to stir him or
turn him over now and then"
The suggestion appealed strongly to my
judgment, so lashed the poker to the end
OF the broom handle, and thus made a
weapon Of great culinary usefulness. When
it was done, we inspected Julius. A great
and alarming change had come over him
He did not appear to be burned. but he had
swelled to the siz. of an ostrich. His skin
was as tight as the head o. drum, and it
had stretched till it was transparent He
was such a fearful looking object that
Maude ran away, to weep, but the sense of
a deep responsibility would not permit me
to desert my pos. / selected q long fork
and approached the oven.
JULIUS WAS RELIEVED.
Julius" said I, stabbing him with the
fork, "what makes you act this way?"
Julius replied with long, plaintive
whistle, alter which he resumed his natural
form, or thereabouts. I decided that his
sudden initiation had been due to steam iom
the moist bread crumbs. l told Maude that
the danger of an explosion was over and she
consented to return. Together we watched
and tended Julius with afectionate care
during the next two hours, and at the end
of that time he was no mean bird. We had
discovered the mysteries of "basteing," and
Maude had concocted a gravy. We had
baked sweet potatoes, maehine-made mince
pies from the grocery store, and cafe noir of
my own preparation, which was as much
blacker than ordinary black coffee as negro
is darker than white man.
m. ! lrBt n l.
disappointed. I wanted to point TO that
turkey with pride and say that my wife
cooked it. Then if Tom noticed anything
funny about the turkey he wouldn't blame
NE.
LASTED A LONG TIME.
We had to eat it all alone. We only made
a good beginning at dinner; and we dined so
late after waiting for Tom, that we hadn't
much appetite for supper. For breakfast we
hadn't much appetite, either-that is, not for
turkey. j have secret suspicion that
Maude lunched off something else, for Julius
showed no signs of diminution when re-
turned for dinner.
Maude had tried vainly to get another
servant during the day, but she had failed;
and so TO save her the trouble of cooking
anything, We had Julius for breakfast. did
not eat heartily, and neither did Maude.
When / lett the house / advised her to take
a good, square lunch, and remarked by way
of inducement that she was looking a little
thin.
The ghost of Julius haunted ME during
the day. had mildly suggested to Maude
that we might have something else for din
ner, but she said it would be wasteful. I
took occasion to invite several friends home
to dinner, but they all had engagements.
Then 1 meditated sending a telegram to
Maude that was detained down town, but
that was too mean. could not leave her to
face Julius alone.
THE LAST OF JULIUS.
Maude had endeavored to disguise Julius
in stew, but 1 recognized him at dinner
and my appetite fed.
'Maude," said 1, don't you think our
poor old washerwoman would like the rest
of this stew?"
"No use, Howdy," said Maude, "this
is only just part of him."
For five days nobody came to help us out,
but at last my sister-in-law, hearing that
Maude was without servant. came around
TO see us. She agreed to cook the dinner.