Thomas County cat., 1890-08-28

Ma b thu only animal that lauon..
put It isn't necessary for you to laugh q
the time.
She: Man is also the only animal that
smiles, but it isn't necessary for you to
smile as often as you do.
New wReporter-"Anything for me to-days'
City Editor (New York daily)-'sNothinQ
special: Just walk up and down Broadway.
and write up the pavement explosions"
Some of the census enumerators must have
been born in Padua.
Mrs. Hayfork (who takes summer board
ers)-'sNow children. you must be very ouiet
for week or two. Don't run and make a
noise in the front yard, and don't rumble
over the stones any more"
Chldren-'What's the matter, ma? Any
one sick?'
Mrs. Hayfork-''No; but some new board
ers are comidg to-day, and they're all from
Philadelphia"
The peculiarly of Dobbins' Electric Soap
is that it acts right on the dirt and stains in
clothes and makes them pure as sno,r, at the
same time 1t preserves the clothes and makes
them keep clean longer. Have your grocer
order it.
The colored barber with dull razor is of.
ten engaged In cutting scrapes.
The general run of women-when a mouse
comes in the house
Prickly Ash Bitters is vegetable COM
pound, pure and reliable. Give it trial, it
will help you.
winks-''Catch me going to Mount FASH
ion another SUMNER
Minks-''HOt there?''
every night
it?" '' - '-' 'A'ei WIN
Winks-''They didn't have the blankets"
An Echo.-"When do you do your best
work, Mr.. Cynicus?''
Mr.. Cynicus: 'Never. There is no mar
ket for it."
when they are built expressly for Us to sit
down upon.
The man who goes to seashore resort for
change frequently comes home without any.
Just about this time Salvador is asking
Guatemala: "Is it warm enough fer you?''
Modestly Stated. Travelling Agent: Are
you the head of the house. sir: Mr.. Cowed-:
Hem.-Ah.-I represent her.
Debtor: want to pay tha. little bill of
yours.
Creditor: AL! right, my dear boy.
Debtor: But can't.
Now I'm ready for the summer boarders,"
exclaimed Farmer Meddergrass. '.What
have you done?" ''Sold the cow
The decline of Agricultural boys rc-
fusual to remain on his fathers farm.
Parched earth is not good for the growthof
parched corn.
The man who can afford to pay for ice now
s the one who takes the cake.
''Why did you strike the operator, McCaf-
|rey?" "Bekase, your honor, Oh, asked him
% sind confidential tiligraf to me wolfe.
md the blaggyard read it,
He envied Him.--Smith: See that man
ishing over there?
Joness Yes, see him.
Smith: Well. I've been watching hum for
he last six hours and he hasn't had bite.
only wish had his patience.
The railroads are now listening to the
moaning of the tied.
The illegal voter ought to be called His
ory," because he repeats himself.
P. T. Barnum is very rich for man who
oil ho1 or,o oil
The revolutionIst in the Argentine Re-
,ubllc may be said to be putting on airs
3uenOs Ayres, as it were.
"How can get rid of superiuous hair Mr..
0rugglst!' Get married, sir.
Love is blind, and from the pet names he
lses one would think his articulation sadly
also.
A woman's wardrobe is esteemed by its
Worth rather than its beauty.
''Tis wheat to be remen bered." as grain
peculator observed when viewing a pros
'ective crop.
Until the summer man comes along the
ummer girl sits on the boardwalk.
AVOID extremes. man. as well as bis
uit, can be well-bred without being crusty.
Miss Gadder: Why is it that Miss Long
ut is always going to the chiropodist's?
diss Gossip: don't know. but she has been
q society for 10 81 asons now, and / suspect
hat these visits you speak of form her only
pportunity to have man at her feet.
The man who rides hobby is the man
ho is most apt to deride the hobbies of 9TH
rs.
$50 you think he really loves you?" 81
m sure of it. He does nothing but quarrel
18th me every time we meet"
If delays are dangerous the legal profess
IN contains the pluckiest men in the world.