The Hot Springs star. (Hot Spings [Hot Springs], Dakota [Dakota Territory, i.e. S.D.]) 1886-189?, 1890-08-08
TOW II. DRESSED FREDDY.
The Concct.rd Father Thou::',. llc Knew
1t All, IsMt Ily Did: ~,

The Concct.rti Father T!,ou::',. lle Knew
1t All, Is"t Ilc Did..'t.
All family men fancy. says Kate
Thorn in tho New York Weekly, that
they can dress tho baby rluch moro
dcftl.,' ard cNpcditiou*ly than the mother
can perform the same operation. That
is. if ,hcy only set themselves about it.
"Of course there il no doubt of that"
says the man to himself. "a man can
do any thing better than woman, and
not make half the fuss and talk about it.
Women wear themselves all out talIing
things over Why, Il woman will talk
moro about making q flatiroI-holdcr
than ~ man would about building n
lac"ting-housc. When man is goiI;;
to do any thing he goes to work and
does it. He doesn't have to rum all
over the ncighborhood to ask every one
he knows about it and then do as no
has u mind to, as q woman will do
And so, having heard him boast of his
capabilities for years, some fine morn
ing, when hi; wifc's head aches and i:lc
feminine deity of the kitchen has .rivcn
notice, the mother of the family invites
him to dress tho baby.
The baby is; big enough to walk
around and have q finger in every pic,
but it will be 'sthc baby till a later edi-
tion appears.
Tho t.aa who knows it all smiles tri-
umrhanLly to himself. He l.; delighted
with tho opportunity OF showing; his
wife how much quicScrh he caa do i; than
she can. And hc'll sec Ii that baby is,
going to run all over creation after eats
and things. and cry half tho time whlo
he is doing it. Discipline is what is
needed with children.
He calls the baby to him.
''.s;tand there, Freddy. whilc papa
finds your clothes, like n good boy
Freddy places himself in position.
; whilc his pa goes in quest of tho rain,cnt
belonging to the juvenile. Freddy spies
:. bird on the top of a tree in the yard.
and he climbs ON the piano to get high
up ut the window, and he knocks down
:. couple Of bundles of sllcct-iausc. his
sister l'a'!ny's new hat that she left
there last night when she came hona
from the party SO tircd that slc coul.l
hardly get upstairs to bed; and thea
poor freddy slips, and grabs the vim
dow-sl:l,lc to save himself. and brinrs
il dowa. fixtures and all. and draws =.
dui!lc-tr.clscd railroad OH the polished.
rosewood OF the piano with his wildly
clu'cning fingcr-nails, and l:..,.l; saf;l,y
ON tho floor, bowling with rrsn ut not
having. been able to get tho bird.
by that time hi:; pm has found most of
his clothes and is; ready TO bc..ein. But
Freddy isn't ready. lIc wants to SEQ
Tho pictures in the album. Then he i'll
.;is;s IN hearing the watch tick. Then
h. vents to catch the dog by lllc tail
and rive it good pull. to SEQ ii ii is on
fast. Then he wants to kiss mamma.
":%::nl ;;i!l:' say; his pa. pattin.r on
tho scvcrc look that he us.si cil hi; in
subordinate clerks, in the ,.i:.sy down
town Office. land seq il you can keep
ycur Tongue still Will" dress YOU.
Epn't wicsg:ylc so. Freddy! Stand still.
/ Put down your foot. Let that cat alone.
! Here. you little mischief, stop chewing
; tina. lra.l-pcncil. Hold up your head,
/ can't you? Put this hand througll-no.
! that cnc. Gcou gracious. 1t Is strange
i;ll. womc. will mako pants for babies
wrong end to! And moro buttons on
'cla than would be needed to button np
!. regiment oi men! Now then, for the
waist! ilumpa! that ia made the same
wa. all tho buttons in tho wrong
place. No arm-holcs, no nothing!
Freddy. hold still! | tell you it docsn
hurt you. Ycs, It's on right. 1t can't be
on any other way. By lavc. I've forgot
the drawers. and the stockings! Here.
put up that foot. Good gracious, Freddy.
can't you stop wig"ling your toes? Hold
your leg still. There. now. Now we'll
put on the little mans collar. What al
outlaa.is!l contrivanco to fastcn collar.
IL doesn't stay pntanywhsrc. Lct's>cc.
tho bow goes under it? No, it must GO
over it. Keep your head still. Wha,
are You bo!,bing SO for? Lift up you,
arms, Freddy! Why. what the deuce il.
the matter with this child's arms? lie
can't move 'cm. Dcn'tcry. Freddy, Lc,
nc look. do stop that bawling. This
all co,acs of your mother; lumorina
Won SO. ] say, Fred. stop this noise
.itopit. ] say! shall be craay-I-'
And about at this jurcturc his wife
appears on the scene. and she finds
that freddy; pants arc hind part before
and one of his arms has bccn phi
through tho neck space, and tic othc,
ono thron.sh one ar.n-lole OF his waist
AID his collar, which was made to t.rr
down. sita':s!:; up, and his stockings ARK
on wrong side out: and his pa will nevci
own That tlicrc is anything out of or.lcl
about tho proceeding. but the next time
lie sl:rsscs :!is baby he do.sn't drcss i
---lic always has something TO sec to tina
prevent; lil:l.
T,lc Tailor. Made Girl.
To-day tho ''tailor-r,alc sirl' stand