The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1890-08-22
THE COLONEL'S FEE.
He Earned Under Conditions Peculiar
Even for a Lawyer.

He Earned Under Conditions Peculiar
Even for a Lawyer.
There lives in one of the finest coun-
ties of kentucky an aristocratic old gen.
tleman, who, though brave at time of
physical trouble, has never succeeded in
summoning sufficient courage to shove
him into the recllessness of paying
debt. Like most men that are loose in
money matters, no is of exceedingly
cheerful disposition, and has been known
to invite bill collector into the room
which he termed the holy of holies,"
| derived from the fact that the Colonel
kept his liquors there), and regale him
| with bourbon that had attained great
age. But he would not pay the bill.
Once the Colonel was in debt to a
grocer that lived in neighboring viii
lage. He must have been newcomer,
for none of the ''old-timers' would trust
the old gentleman. One morning, just
| after the Colonel had taken his third
julep and sat down on the gallery to
smoke, the grocer came to the gate and
shouted, ''halloa!"
Get down and come right in, suh,"
the Colonel called, getting up and cor
daily advancing to meet the visitor.
81 am delighted to see you this bright
morning." said the host when he had
shown the grocer into the house.
"You don't know me, reckon" the
grocer responded, giving the old man
peculiar look out of his keen eyes of
trade.
20, most assuredly. You are the
grocer
''You bet. Did you get that bill-or,
rather, them twenty bills-I sent your
81 presume so, but can not say posi-
lively who sent them. l get so many
favors of the kind that hardly know
whence they come. Let US go into the
holy of holies.'
''No, l reckon not. I have hearn of
that ticker room an about you gittin'
folks drunk that go in thar, but I've
never hearn that man what did go in
thar ever got the money comm to him.
I'm man of business an want my
money without any palarverin. Do you
understands
"Perfectly, sub, and / can not blame
you. Business can not be operated with
out money!
''But are you goin' to pay me?"
81 can't pay you now"
when can you?"
Lets see; this is the tenth OF the
month, amt it?'
''That's what it is.
"Ah, ha, and tomorrow will he the
eleventh.
"That's the size of it.
''Well, you como round between the
eleventh and the first of next month"
''Will you pay me them"
mo, don't think shall"
Then what's the use of my comin?"
''None that ! can see. Didn't know
but you might be more willing to go
into the holy of holies by that time"
Not much. What l want is my
money, and I'm goin' TO have it or know
the reason why"
81 don't mind giving you the reason.
The reason appears to be that you'll not
get the money. Now look here: | have
always made it a point to look with
favor on the methods of life established
by other men. You have your rules
and / have mine, but because our rules
differ it is no reason for US to fall out.
One of your rules is to collect every
cent duo you. All right. One of my
rules is not to pay cent. All right"
''No, it's not all right-you bet your
life it amt. You've simply got to pony
up"
mo, l thank you. BY the way, how
much do owe you?"
"Ten dollars"
"a beggarly sum-"
"Why don't you pay it, them"
Because don't pay beggarly sums. :"
You'll pay this one"
"Possibly. BY the way again, let me-
give you piece of advice with regard
to that bill Shall H."
"Yes."
| 'Well, then, sue me-"
"fll do it; you bet your life on that"
The grocer brought suit. The Colonel
promptly appeared. The case went to
trial and the grocer got Judgment for
seven dollars.
~ want my money now said tho
grocer.
"And l want mine" the Colonel re-
piled.
"Yours: don't owe you any thing. =
80, yes. You see," the old man
added, 1.-THE courts many years ago
granted me license as a lawyer, and III
be hanged if you haven't given me my
first case. Here is the license"
"Why, haven't given you a case
80, yes; | advised you to sue me and
you did so. My fee is ten dollars"
''Mr. Billings" said the judge land he
also owed the grocer, you will have
to pay the amount"
He did so, closed his store, shot the
judges cow and ran away.-Arkansaw
Traveller.
Two Points of View.
Stranger-If man falls down an omen