Telegram-herald., 1890-01-07

The Persmbuiatlug Furniture CT
Slocu1a, ak 3 & C.

- - - J

the apartment house districts nave
yielded the palm % the furniture NOV
ers. I would rather oe furniture
mover, ~itb lien on the patronage ~
any two west side streets between fiftH-
third and Sixty-fourth. gh2n proprietor
of a summer resort hotel IL is the sif-
est and safest cash business IN the world
l have seen one II these modern pluto
erats paid s. twice in two months FOR
moving 81 worth Of furniture one block
and seven pairs of stairs That Is, the
furniture would not sell for 81 after the
SECOND moving. And every day IN the
year this mover is busy from morning
till night az the same rates. Has big
covered vans outnumber two 20 one on
any day in the week all the mix
and grocery wagons that frequent the
neighborhood IL is safe 60 say that there
are families ia II least three Of the streets
in the territory named who have the fan
benefit Of their household effects less
than nine-tenths OF the time. for they
move regularly once a month, and at the
lowest estimate the tearing up, the NOV
Ing and the bringing Of order out OF
chaos again consumes four days and as
many nights The subject is the more
bewildering in that the closest inquiry
fails % discover the ghost of reason
why these families should move at al.
There Is Jones, for instance. During
the last year. Jones and his family have
devoted one-tenth OF their tune 10
vibrating between Sixty second and
Sixty-third streets. II Jones kept a
diary which, between the tearing up
md laying down of carpets, he has not
time TO dot would read like this:
Jan 3l-Moved one block from third
foor four room apartment TO fifth floor
six room fat. Bought new carpets and
parlor set. Smashed pier glass-bad
colds all around-d-i
Feb. 2S.-Noved back to four room
apartment. Gave away carpet-smash-
ed parlor set-worse colds - -!
March 31.-Moved around the corner
10 eight room fiat where Mrs. j. can
keep two dodgers who will pay all the
rent and installments on new furniture.
Then fell down stairs with washtub full
of china and charged extra for same
colds still growing worse-thank good
ness, this is the last time.
May Moved TO former fifth floor
six room fat. Lodgers swindlers-fur-
nit1re men foreclosed- else
getting very shabby rheumatism -
- --!l This is the LAST time.
Etc, etc, with variations throughout
the remaining months of the year.
But the strangest, most inexplicable
feature of the problem is that the NOV
ers are not satisfied. ! thought it would
be a meritorious act, one to be proud of
in after years, to probe through this
dissatisfaction, impale the grievance
and hold it up TO public sympathy. To
this end, l devoted an entire day TO
viewing the subject from the standpoint
of Muggins & Son, who Move Household
Goods with Intelligence and Care.
Muggins &c Son have two vans. Mug
gins drives one and Son drives the other.
At sunrise Muggins set out, with his
helper, to move the Jenkinses back into
the Slocums' Sixty second street fiat,
while at the same hour Son and his
back into the Jenkinses' Sixty-third
street fat. Muggins & Son were in a
lively mood. and having each taken an
inaugural sip from two small, dark col
ored bottles kept under the horse blank
cts on the van seats, they separated Jovi-
ally, with the remark and response:
Now, Jack, here goes for the regular
i 81. a L -
tension table"
"All right, pop, and here goes for the
regular monthly wrestle with the Slo
Gums rattan baby crib-hoop la.
The fortunes of Muggins and the Jen-
kiuses' extension table were varied and
impressive. The six legs of that cele-
brated piece of furniture had not grown
hairs breadth shorter during the last
thirty days, and the lynx eyed landlady
was on hand rs usual to see that no paint
was knocked OF the door jambs.
BE careful and not scratch the top
said Mrs. Jenkins
Look out! Don't break the legs"
yelled Mr Jenkins.
stop, Stop You're marring the
paintw screamed the landlady.
Muggins sat down on the carpet and
scratched his head The door Of the pri-
vate hall was an inch and a half mar
rover than the other doors. and there
Muggins. his helper and the table stuck.
"If knew how the blasted thing came
in said Muggins, I'D get it out if it
took a leg
Not a table leg" said Mrs. jenkins.
warningly.
NO" said Muggins; zone Of mine OF
Pcte's. Anything that viii come in
through a door viii g. ont through the
same door But how did the Internal
thing get ini That's the question.
you ought 20 know" said Jenkins.
You brought 1t in Yourself = month ago
Tor three dollars. and now you're charg-
ing me -four 70 take it out It viii pay
you 10 keen a note e s1ch cases for IN
ture reference.
Stupid CALCULATED Nrs Jenkins
by your own confession you are the
man it would pay q keep such notes.
They stood the table ou its side. Thev
stood IS IN rs end They pulled 10 ont
20 its full length and got one pair = ieFs
through. But The middle pair stuck fast
an the others pokei themselves through
che kitchen door and hooked ~ ~ the
iamb with . grip = death After hslf
an hour ~ general pers7iration and pro-
faritr- The tables protest against beng
noved wea sened enough to enable Mug
gins 80 break its grip IN ths kitchen door