The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-10-29
KNOCKED OUT.
How an Ira .pressible, Effervescent, Pray
ing Fiend Was Shut Up.

How an Ira spressible, Efervescent, Pray
ing Fiend Was Shut Up.
When the Rev James Archer took charge
of the Lone Zion church he found the con-
gregation thereof in a most demoralized
condition. His predecessor, after making
some heroic attempts to head off the strayed
sheep, had thrown up the sponge and re-
tired in disgust.
Causes depart, but effects remain"
murmured the Rev. James as he sur
veyed the CHASTITY array of empty benches
to which he had preached his opening ser
mon. Unfortunately it was the cause as
well as the effect that remained in Lone
Zion, az he very soon found out, said
cause being large, red faced saint named
Bangs, who pursued the calling of Insurer
during the week, brazenly demanding 8
per cent. a month on all money advanced,
but when Sunday came-presto!-what q
changed Downing his religion with his Sab
bath clothes he proceeded to occupy the
front pew in church, till carried away by
an excess of fervor he would advance TO
the chancel rail and fairly lombard heaven
with prayers AS the Lord was expected
to do all the giving, Brother Bangs gener-
ously requested favors not only for the
members of the congregation, but for all
Jews, pagans, infidels and the sinful world
at large. In word, he prayed both for
the favorites and the field.
Such was the state of affairs when the
Rev. Mr. Archer devoted an entire week
to parochial visiting, and with tears in his
eyes implored the recreant worshipers to
return. "No, sir, no." was the invariable
reply; "as long as you let that fellow Bangs
a.k - H. ha
praying we ain't going to come back. The
idea" continued the scoffers Indignantly,
''the cheek to lead in prayer and ask ia
vors for honest folk. GO and hush Bangs
up and then we'll see about coming back"
Bangs, however, refused to be hushed up.
Despite the minister's entreaties and ex-
postulations he continued to practice usury
and religion with the same fervor and sue
cess.
One night during the week a prayer
meeting was in order. Much to the Rev.
James surprise quite number of the dis
gruntled members attended the services.
During the opening hymn a citizen, at
tracted by the music, strayed in and sub
sided quietly in a rear pew, where he
amused himself staring stupidity around.
Never had Brother Bangs been more i'm
preSSlve In his amens, more ferVld In his
singing, more plaintive in his prayers than
upon this special evening.
Finally in q state of spiritual efferves-
cence he rushed out of his pew, caught
hold of the chancel rail, and scared heaven
ward on the wings of prayer. Signs,
groans and exultant whoops lent dignity
and impressiveness to his exhortation.
"Oh LordP' he pleaded, I'VE pray thee to
grant US all good things-we pray thee to
lift up our hearts and give US a higher in
terest in heaven "Whatr' yelled the
Mortified man in the back pew. "Whatl
higher interest than s per cent. a month";
Great Scott, man, that's high enough for
heaven, earth, or hell either" Brother
Bangs promptly collapsed, and after that
evening the Lone Zion congregation saw
him no more.-Elvira Miller for Chicago
Special Press Bureau