Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1890-03-29
a IupIClAL LAuonER.
xhs YouHdsF offs Profession wAioh Prom
lses d R0voiutionize Legal Methods.

y Aus lOuM0oE " EAOAEuHtuM WnIuh AEOuh-
ises TO Rovoiutionize Legal Methods.
..Mr. McGlue 1 supposed" said d
robustlooking man, with an ashes OF
roses OF nose and a big mouth, walk
ing into the office OF that well-known
merchant the other morning. &EBfa
you'll have to excuse me just
now" saidthe businessman, swapping
his watch; I've got a big case to attend
to in court this horning."9
"Exactlyw said the stranger. 81
noticed it on the calendar, so l { called.
Don't you want to engage mep"
Are you a lawyerP"
Great Scott Mol haven't sunk
that low yet. I'm alegal cachinnator."
"a whatpn .stfuls clAh0 QtOH
"Why, a professional laugher. l
sort o cap all the jokes OF my clients
lawyer; don't you seeP Exasperates
the other side, Grapple with the idea,
don't you"
Cant say / do. exactly"
"Well, I'll explain, You see there
is nothing so effective in q jury trial
as ridicule, satire and things. Well.
it is Also a singular fact that ninety
nine out OF a hundred jurymen never
see the point OF a joke, no matter how
plain it is; but they are always ready
to chip in and follow up any one who
starts a laugh-iust like q flock oil
sheep" -
"Are, ehP"
"Yes, sir. Experience has proved
that the large majority of mankind
need to be. told when to laugh. They
have to be set in motion, so to speak,
like a row of bricks"
Eyes; but"
"But what has that to do with your
case, ehP I'll tell you. You see. l sit
in one OF the front benches, where the
jury can see me easily. and whenever
your counsel cracks II joke and says
something funny, or intended to be
funny. / laugh like M e2d-man OF a
minstrel show, and pound with q biz
cane. or course the jury joins in ant
the other side becomes perfectly furi
ous." .A
-. makes 'em mad, ehg" said the mer
chant.
"Just breaks 'em all up, And tn
madden their lawyer gets, the NOR
the jury and spectators are ,impresse'
in your favor. Why, in Skeggs VS.
S~kinderly, last week, Ia%ctually laughe
:, the plaintiff clear out of court"
: Ibid. ehP"
Eyes, sir. You see, when the or
: position counsel try to be funny in re
turn / scrape my feet on the floor
4 cough. drop my stick, and look a
); solemn as q darby undertaken.
throw that in, though. without extr
charge fi7U"
O"That's kind Of you"
Don't mention it. Now, just retail
me in your case, and III do you nor
good than all the high-priced lawyer
1. in the country. I'll cost you ju'
twenty-five dollars; and if you'll max
I. it thirty dollars, I'll also put O
a couple OF boys-apprentict
r; of mine. They're not very reliabI
s, yet; but when we work together wei
u a team-I tell you. One Of EN-
p particularly promising; has II mout
n, almost as big as n darby, and ca
C break an ordinary window glasS-nc
IS plate-glass, you know-at six feet di
Il lance, by laughing at it. five times o,
of six. Nearly shook down the CALLER
while doing the 'deafening applaus
- and uncomfortable merriment' at
er political meeting at Steinway Hall til
other night, and"
ay "Ill-ahem!-rl think of it. Ye
l guess you'd better dron in aga
this afternoon" said the morchan
ny thoughtfully.
And as Purify, the defendant in NJ
Glue VS.. Purify. is now trying to effe
a compromise, it is fair to suppose tt
-. specialist was engaged, - Derrit
Dodd, in PUCK. I