Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-01-24
AMONG THE J0KERs


of money in leather" don't dispute lin
purses are made of leather.
"YoU say that drinking is one OF yon,
husbands failings?" "Failings? Oh
no. 1t is one of his successes"
WHEN married woman goes ont IL
look after her rights her husband !,
usually left at home with his wrongs.
No." SAID the Doodle Alderman, y
shall not lend my vote to such thie,.
ing scheme" And he didn't lend j,
He sold it.
Mrs. GAzzAM-I can't understand
how robbers see to go through honso
at night. Gazzam-With their bnrglq,.
ize, Of course.
The man who signs, "How soon va
are forgotten!' has only to leave hotel
without ps ing his bill to find out how
sadly mistaken he is.
ONE Of the heather customs Which
lady missionaries have to get used to j,
not to look pleased when natives tell
them their babies look sweet enough ia
eat.
If man wants his wife to believe
that he is genius his wisest plan is to
persuade her Of it before he gets mar
ried. He will generally find it easie,
then.
DR.. QuAcKER-Mr. McClacker Seem,
to be man of very broad views. MI
Wbacker-Yes, don't believe there's
single question on earth that he doesn't
straddle.
D1cKY-Why have you never mar
ried, Jack? Jack-I was going to once
but Providence interviewed. I elopej
with Boston girl and We were caught
at Providence.
JoHNNY-say, pa, are you in favor
the Bible in the public schools? FatheI
OF course. Why do you ask !
"Nothin'; only 1 noticed you never hay
one in the house,
"AH," said the fly, as it crawled
around the bottle, Il have passed
through the Matching age, the creeping
age, and now I'm in the mucilage.
And there it stuck.
Now, REALLY, what was the mos
astonishing thing you saw in Paris, Mr.
Spicer?" asked Miss Gusher, and Will,
out moments hesitation, Seth AM
swered, NV hotel bill
"CAN you forgive me and love M
STILL said the new-made bride, "whe1
confess that my teeth are artificial p
"Thanlz God" cried the groom, as Id
snatched off his wig, now L can cool
my headr
Mrs. STARruP There, Jonathan, I
have finished my reply to Mrs. Living
ston's note. Mr.. Startnp- YOU
think of anything to add, to give littll
tone to it? Mrs. Startup-Well,
might add, Excuse bad spellin', as
have such a poor pen"
DON'T sleep with your mouth open,
said Fred to his younger brother. "Nol
should breathe through your nose
"But I don't know when my mouth I
open. What do yon do when you wakd
up and find your mouth open?" 'Whai
do ] do? Why, get up and shut it.
Miss EFF1E ANcEE Gust engaged
What do you think Edwin said last
night That ii he had to choose eithel
me or Il million dollars, he wouldn't
even look at the million. Miss Ma!
Tour (still waiting -Dear, loyal fellow
suppose he didn't like to risk tld
temptation"
BoGERs-T tell YOU, sir, when thd
Chickasaw Bank pressed poor old Jones
for settlement it signed his DEATH
warrant! Williams-Youd don't say sol
Why did it affect him so seriously?
He had taken a heavy cold, and the
draft from the bank brought on pneu,
monia. boston Times.
LADY Ito tramp)-Are you going off:
You promised before I gave you YOU
dinner that you would saw some wood,
Tramp (from Boston)-Yes, madam,
but you err in assuming that the world
necessarily apply to your wood. The rel
mark has reference to the woodpile o
another lady further up the road
Good afternoon.
THE CAUSE OF HER GRIEF.
She wept and she wept and she wept,
AS she sat with her head in wimple.
why this grief?' exclaimed as slept
TO her aid, and her answer was simple
They said could ma Ike cit her side
In my check a most beautiful dimpe
II cut out Il piece and tried,
| And it ism t dim--it's pim-plel
4 MODERN INTENTION.
Mrs. Xavier Why, how exquisitei3 !
your rarlor is furnished, dear I tlnnlI
those plush chairs are too sweet lo]
anything. But what is that great
homely, hardwood chair. It Is avg
fully UGLY.