The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1890-10-23
PITH AND POINT.

fllH AMI EUlNI.
A state controlled by ring-Mar-
riage.
A preferred creditor-One who never
presents his bill.-1srds Siftinqs. -
In a cat. fight the victor generally wins
by q scratch.-Phthadelphia Times.
We are troubled by house-aies in sum
mer; in winter snow fies.- Washington
Hdtchet.
Before q girl is married she is pen
sivc. After marriage she is expensive,
Statesman.
We suppose nose may be said to be
broke when it hasn't got q scent.-Btn3-
hanstan Leader.
A man is not only known by the come
pany he keeps, but by the cigars he gives
away.--Someroille Journal. -
The trouble with the milkman Is that
he is not willing to let well enough
alone. Washington Ratchet. .
The waves arc about the only thing
that enjoy the sands of seashore resorts
gratis Chicago Inter- Ocean.
Teacher -"Freddy, how is the earth
divided2" Freddy-"Between them
that's got it and them that wants it.
London 1it-Bits.
Ma-"Why did you thrash Tommy SO
brutallv2" Bobby-"I wuz playin' !
wuz perliceman, an had to do it or
spoil the game. Epoch.
He docking at the clock) )-HBlessme,.
how time flies I had no idea twas 60
late" She (yawning)-"Better late than
never."-Teras SiftingS.
Sophia engaged to Angelo yesterday
-"Oh, don't say you are going, Angelo,
you've only been here thirteen hours, ana
it seems so lonely without you!-Lye.
How wise and good the world would be,
I'm sure we'd all be happier far,
If heaven had but created US {:
As wise and good as we think we are.
-Munsey.
Miss Frostique-"Beautiful children
invariably become ugly as they grow
older" Miss Caustiquc -"What
beautiful child you must have beenF-
Munsey.
Mrs. Gummey-"Edison says that no
experiment which he has tried at night
ever failed" Gumuey-"Then ne never
tried to walk his baby to sleep. p."-Ne~
York Sun.
Old Mr.. Grump-"You seem to be
fond Of sweet things, Bobby" Bobby
-"Yes, pa, but I suppose I'll be fond
of my bitters when Pm US old as you"
-Terus SJtings.
Aunt Theo-'Tommy! I'm surprised
you forget your Bible SO quickly! Now,
when the rain descended and smote the
earth for forty days, what was it calledT
Tommy promptIy)-"Mud. ."-Bsaco".
| WANTS BUT LITTLE"
Man wants great deal here below;
He always cries for more.
The man who wanted little
/ Died long before the war.
boston Courier.
Stern Father of the Girl-"I saw you
kiss my daughter as passed the parlor
while ago, and I want you to know
don't like it." Young Man (smacking
his lips)-"You may not, but I do."-
Epoch.
Young Staylate-"Dear me, Miss
! Amy, I'm afraid there's robber iu the
! house. Do you hear that noise upstairs"
Amv-"Don't be alarmed, Mr.. 6taylate.
That's the cook getting up to prepare
breakfast. It's early yet. Light.
| A PAINFUL TRUTH.
It seems it ought not to be true.
But just as certain as you're born,
The smaller you may get your shoe,
The bigger you may grow your corn.
Chicago Post.
"Have you any paper collars2" asked
man, as he entered Chicago furnishing
store. "No, SIR" replied the clerk,
affably; "wc don't keep them. You see
nearly all our visitors from st. Louis
bring their collars with hem."-Inter-
Ocean.
A CLINGING WEAKNESS.
You can scold, you can lecture.
The girls il you choose to,
But they'll masticate gum
Just the same rs they used to.
Chicago Fost.
Tomdick-"Do you know that this
country has coined more than three
hundred aud forty nine million silver dol
lars since 17SS" Hojack-'I don't
believe it." "Why" "Bccausc they
are so scarce when try to borrow one"
Chicago Inter- Ocean.
4 child has been sent to congratulate
his grandmother on her birthday.
"Grandmamma!" he exclaims, "may you
live until the end of your days."
"Alasl" replied the old woman resign
edly, cat my age, I can scarcely expect
to live as long as that. ."-Etats- Uns.
In London, recently, a large collie dog
saved a girls life by scizing her dress