St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-11-23

able coin to the good by the teaching of
palmistry, or chiromancy, as be calls it,
has no reason to blush unseen, OF for
the size of his pocket Here was
an occult science lying dormant, and
he proceeded to utilize 1t with all the
sang frOid and deliberate calculation of
A Purchasing Agent
for street railway company. The bus
mess OF manicuring good society until
all ordinary finger nail CLEANS like a
| moonstOne has grown from an infant
industry into one of Stalwart proper
lions.
The business of to-day is saturated
with soft snaps, not including hynop-
tlsm. mind reading. faith cure, advice
on love, matrimony, financial debility,
lndamnatUry rheumatism, or the retail
drug trade in prohibition states. Run
for office. and you can send on to
bureau of newspaper clippings and get
a readymade biography of yourself
while you wait, two of them, In fact, the
positive and negative sides of your
character as viewed by various editors
who may. OF may not agree with you
politically. You can go into memory
class with a mind all cut up into fish
bait, torn from its moorings and grOvel-
ling in chaotic state. your reason tot
tering with the blind staggers. and in
less than six weeks you can come forth
able to chln-chin on the tariff question,
tackle BrOWnlng'S poems, or the hen
and half who
Laid an Egg
and half in day and a half, In barn
and a half a mile and a half from a town
and half.
With the philosophical deductions
formulated above, the new enterprise of
Cloverdale Bilson swings into perhilion.
Mr.. BilSOn is rank enthusiast in do
nestle economy, or more particularly,
the economy of domeStics. He sees the
intelligence Office and CUES it one better.
Mr.. Bison says, and he doesn't seem in
clined to take it back, that for the
ameliOration of the sex, that is, the
wealthy sex, there is every kind Of
modern contraction the heart could
wish. Mir. Bilson's idea is to teach the
lower classes. Also their pocketbooKs.
His Advisory Annex of Helpful Hints
and lunches, is devoted to the anchor
alton and encouragement of poor work
ing girls who would like advice on
variety of topics. but hate to bother
big lawyer with supreme court prac-
tice of
$4,000 Year.
Thus comes Mr.. BilsoD to the rescue,
and says
The success of my business innova-
tion is moderately fair, but somewhat
tedious. Perhaps my advertisement
covers too much ground for the space it
occupies in the patent insides. / offer
domestic advice at bedrock prices, bnt
| can't yank a boarding house second
girl into the haut monde for a dollar.
1t occurs to them that | can, but | can't,
l assure you. l can show them how to
avoid the snares and pitfalls of a great
city; how to bear with fortitude and a
stiff upper lip the sings and arrows of
bilious landlady who leaves her soul
up stairs on the piano, and brings moth
ing into the kitchen but bad temper
impregnated with sulphur; how to bank
money OH 81 week; what church pews
are free to the deserving poor; how to
hypnotic the young m. chinist so as to
focus the scattering rays of his great
love; how to fly the temptation to sneak
bottle of export beer up into her bed
| room; how to use insect powder; how to
feed furnace; all this l can do, but I
don't know why / should be expected
| to teach them to amble through the
German or play
MIR. Chopin's Music.
don't know that. have advertised
to take a raw emigrant from Castle
Garden and sock her into the 400 the
first week. 1t amt in the pins. Now
| just see what this one writes, inclosing
dollar:
Zone of the first things / read after
| coming to this city was your offer to
| poor working girls, one of whom am
which, and don't want to remain so. |
| am an American, and was born on a
| farm and went to school, and don't feel
| that l should be compelled to compete
with those who can't read the Lords
| prayer, let alone the story of little Rob-
| ert Reed, who never used tobacco in
any form. L send you 81 and want some
advice, and l want straight goods for
| my money. / work in boarding house
| where there's pack of medical stu
| dents, and must say that if the queS-
! ton of life and death is to he handed
| over to such cattle the census of this
| city will be considerably less in ten
| years than Mr.. Porter now figures it up.
| One of these medical students has
Got a Skeleton
of a deceased person in his room, and
| he stipulates with my landlady that |
d ust it off every day. He says it is
n icely articulated, and if in any way
| injure the brass hinges for the landlady
to take it out of my wages, which she
threatens to do, and l reckon she means
it. Yesterday morning, however, what
do the medical students, who have no
..egular hours, but are lolling around
the house at all times of the day, do,
but after l had busted the room, they
ilitched that Internal skeleton to the
back of my dress just as l was going
down stairs, and it bumpety bumped all
| the way down after me, and l ran right
into the dining room, where the land
| lady had company to lunch. She said
she was scandalized, and l told her
was paralyzed. That's the way mat
| tiers stand now, and what do you think
| / had better do about it?'
Now" continued Mr.. Bllson, ~ have
either got to say something to this girl
| or send her money back. and / don't
| know what to do in case like this. Ii
l advise her to
| Attach the Skeleton
the medical students will set up in de-
| tense that it has already been attached
| to the girl-and she can't swear to the
| contrary. 1t is mighty hard place to
| put benevolent humanitarian like me.
| who is running an advisory annex of
helpful hints and lunches. But here's
| another case that's just as difficult,
| though the conditions are somewhat