Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1890-06-27
THE BoWSERS.
srr. Bowser's Deiinquencics Related for
the Hundrodth Time-His Forget
fulness.

MI DONoNiS S9NN
yum! Lemme lionel"
Mr. Bowser, l am in great painP"
''Ycs, know"
will you get up?"
"Whaz mazzer nowp" he demanded
as he tried to sit up in bed.
II am threatened with pleurisy."
"Hey! Who is itP"
IL am threatened with pleurisy, and /
do wish you would get up and mix Il
mustard plaster for me-"
"Boshr' he growlcd, now fully awake.
"You just lie quiet and the pain will so
away"
He dropped back and began to snore
again, but after ten minutes hard work
I got him out of bed. He sat on the
edge staring blankly into vacancy, and
ready to fall back any moment, and
even while / was telling him that /
might not live till morning he fell over.
kicked himself under the clothes and
went to sleep while | was pulling his
hair.
A night or two later, just after the
bells struck II. l dreamed that / was
being chased by a locomotive. 1t gave
an extra foot and awoke me, and / dis
covered that foot to be Mr.. Bowser's
voice grooming:
For the lands sake get up or shall
be dead mani"
"What is it?"
Terrible cramps in my stomach, I'm
Just tied in knot"
"Oh, it's only passing pain" l re-
piled, as l sought the pillow again.
Lie still and it will soon 60 off. "
Lie still. thunder!' he yelled, as he
got one leg out of bed. Il tell you
shall be q corpse within an hour if ]
don't get relief!'
well, you'll find the Jamaica ginger
on the sideboard. Take big dose of
it in wine."
'I'll never find it. Oh, heavens!
what paint"
wanted to get up, of course, but
was determined to pay him back in his
own coin; | therefore apparently fell
asleep, and, after banging around the
room few minutes, he went out. He
was back again in three minutes, how
ever, to eXclaim:
Are you going to lie there and let
me die like sick horse?"
"But you didn't get up for me-"
Il know it, but that was because L
I-whoop! Blue blazes, but l know
I'm dying!"
had to get up of course, and, Of
course | had him relieved in quarter
of an hour. Man-like he was frightened
to death at pain which he would have
expected me to keep perfectly still
about.
Mr.. Bowser is also like all other hus-
bands in another matter. We got
started for the theater the other night.
and discovered that l had forgotten
my opera-glasses. He offered to run
back for them, and l said:
They are hanging in the bag on the
gas-jet on the left-hand side of our
dresser. You can't fail to find them"
Five minutes slipped away-then ten
then | hurried back myself. He was
seated in chair in the hall, hat and
overcoat of, and as opened the door
he growled:
might as well take of your things?'
"But whyp"
1--WE are not going to any theater
this night"
Not going! Has anything hap
pened?"
II should say there had. I've looked
this internal house from top to bottom
for those glasses and they are not to be
found. Well put in our evening try
ing to discover whether they are up in
the garnet or down in the vegetable
cellar"
'Mr. Bowser, told you where those
glasses were"
They are not within forty rods of
it."
"Come upstairs"
mo use. If they are even in your
room I'll buy you five million Sill
dresses"
Come on"
He followed after, and there hung the
bag just where had told him he would
find IL. looked from one to the other,
and Mr.. Bowser finally said:
Il see how it is. You'll probably say
you told me to look here instead of the
spare bedroom dresser! Take off your
things, Mrs. Bowser; we don't stir q
foot outside tonight"
One night when baby was sick I got
Mr.. Bowser out of bed to get the para
goric. After great deal of yawning
and growing he marched off down.
stairs, and for the fifth time told him:
IL remember to have placed it on
that bracket over the lounge"
heard him thrashing around and
knocking about in the sitting-room,
rummaging in the pantry, and upset.
ting chairs in the Kitchen, and after
about ten minutes he appeared at the
foot of the stairs and shouted:
I've looked the consarned house all
over and can't find it,"
81 told you it was on the bracket"
81 know you did, but it isn't there"
Sure you have lookedp"
"Do you take me for an idiotP"
"Well, I'll come down."
went down, walked with him to the
bracket, and there sat the bottle before
his eyes.
But it wasn't there n minute ago."
he protested. IL looked the bracket
over at least five times, and / know
I'm not blind. Mrs. Bowser, there are
some queer happenings about this
house. i think it best that we sit down
and have some straight talk"
One day at noon he wanted me to
tighten button on his overcoat, and