Morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven [Conn.]) 1848-1894, 1890-09-22
nOHIEMMAN-
"Is that glass Bohemianl"


II don't know what it is; but it's pretty
badly broken"
''Then it is Bohemian. Boston Times.
Maid-There's a ring at the telephone
Mistress-You go, Fanny; cannot be
spoken to while am not dressed to receive
company.-Texas Siftings.
Young McWaty-My beloved Angelina,
let me be your bread-winner all through
life
Angelina-I want a man who can win a
little pie.-West Shore.
''There is only one thing I object to
about watermelon" said Colonel Blue
grass of Kentucky.
"What is that, colonel"
The water."-Puck.
| ''Then you have made up your mind,
young lady, never to get married" eyes,
sir, I'll die an old maid" ''But if some
| young man were to propose to you" "Ah,
that would be different thing altogether"
-Humoristische Blaetter.
''Connie Johnson's very attractive girl,
isn't she?"
Attractive! Well, say, they tell me that
| ture out in thunder storm for fear of
being hit. American Grocer.
'Why, Bridget, did my mamma have an
other husband before she married my pa
pa!" ''Yis, darlint, but he doied you see. !"
"Oh, Bridget, I'm SO sorry mamma lost her
husband" Faith an ye'd better be glad,
Bessie If he'd lived he might made ye
cruel stip- p-feytherl"-Life.
Johnny docking at lightning-rod on
barn)-Td like to know why it branches
out into two parts after it gets up on the
roof.
Willie with supreme contempt for the
To tha rl-a1
lightning, o course.-Chicago Tribune.
Tourist-Did Waters, the temperance
advocate, have much of a following here in
Oklahoma. Prominent citizen-Wal, yes,
right smart! ! reckon thar war n couple
o hundred people in the mob that fol-
lowed him ont NV town we're, and hear it
was 'bou. the same Mt other places.-New
York Weekly.
Lawyer-Madam, I'm sorry TO say that
don't see the ghost of chance for you to
qreak your uncle's will. Woman-Well,
to be frank with you, | don't see ghost
of chance to pay You for what you have
already done if the will isn't broken. Law.
yer-On second thought, madam, 1 think
the will can be broken.-Munsey':
Weekly.
A preacher asked, concerning a horse
that was on exhibitions: "Will that horse
work." Yes replied the driver, ''h,
will work anywhere, and he is afraid ol
i, nothing on earth" 81 wish he belonged
to my church." replied the preacher; 90
have none like him. They are all dodginl
work and are afraid of everything. -
Richmond Religious Herald.
Rev. Mr.. Jones. ''Sister White, i
grieved me las Sunday ter see you a
church in deep mourning, an at de sam
time er wearin' yaller strings on yer bon
net. Dat amt zactly de way ter mourn
[ sister"
, Sister White. 'sBrudder Jones, wear
dem yaller ribbin in memory OBJ my los
dubbed one-who wuz bright mulatt
befo' he up an died. Texas Siftings.
t A story is told of Pittsburg man VIII
sent his son to college and who was hor
rified to find him imbued with Darwinian
ism on his return. Many an argument be
tween father and son was had on the sub
: ject of evolution. One of them the oil
A gentleman wound up by this excited N
mark: well, you may have had mon
key for father, but want You to under
| stand that hadn'tl"-Pittsburg Chronicle
!. Telegraph.
Maud-What do they mean by reel
procityl
Claude-Now, if was to kiss you ant
YOU should kiss me in return, that woul'
be reciprocity.
g Maud-Why, it's nice, isn't it, 1 though
2 it was something bad.
4 81 hear your engagement with Mis-
Doodle is off. How did it happenf
/ SIN strict confidence, Smith, she got ma
e because stole kiss"
f 'I don't see why that should provok
q her, when you were engaged"
0Well, you see, 1 stole kiss fror
another girl. brooklyn Life.
: Lady Shopper-Have you any more @
= that cashmere-pattern satine. Salesman
The kind we've been selling for fifty cents
e No, lady, its all sold. Lady shopper-Of
s I'm SO sorryl set my mind on having
n dress pattern off that, and wouldn't car
. if had to pay seventy-five cents var
- for it either Salesman-Let me Sc,
W Come to think of it, we have enough for
D. dress pattern left. Lady shopper-A rem
.e nanta Then I suppose you'll let me have
: at a reduction! Salesman-Sorry, lady, ht
10 we can't afford to let it go under fifi
D. cents. Lady shopper-Oh, well, 1 onl
called in to ask for a friend. didn't wal
it for myself, you know.-Boston Tran
III cript.
IL Some mortals get the prize they with,
Is But more of us are spurned by fate,
IN We never get O chance to fish;
y 1t keeps us busy cutting bait
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