The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-07-27
STORIES ABOUT NAMEu.
A Yarn From a Minister-A Baby Girl
Who vas Christened George.
Fr0m he chicago Her0ld.
The rennnaaranca of that animal offansa

Who vas Christened George.
From the Chicago Herald
The temperance of that annual offense,
the city directory, which is probably the
most effusively named volume ever issued
in the west, has set lot of the old settlers
telling stories about funny names they
have known. But there are other good
stories besides those of the old settlers, and
here Is one from the vintage of Rev. Robert
McIutyre.
A quiet grocer who used to do business
down in Central Illinois, where Bob be-
gan his preaching, was presented with a
very fine girl baby one time in the course
of domestic events, and he puzzled for a
long time for name which would be
fittlngly worn by SO remarkable a child as
he found this one to be. The grocer's name
was Isom New, and when the curious
| women of the neighborhood pestered him
with the query what he would call the
child he always told them that he would
name the baby something" Finally that
is Just what ne did, and the little ons
is now going through life with
the christening name Of Something"
and the family name of New" II she
should ever get married she will be Some
thing New no longer. Well, this same
offense of presenting the man with a baby
was kept up with the most startling regu.
larity for the next ten years, and the poor
fellow was at last compelled to close out his
business and sell his home and go on the
road as travelling man for wholesale
house in Chicago. He was away on a trip
one time and when he got off the train on
his return the station agent, who knew ali
the news of the place, said to him heartily
as the sample cases were deposited on the
platform:
New baby up at your house last night.
Isom."
80, that's nothing new" responded tho
tired parent. And Nothing New" the
baby was from that day to this, and he will
wear the old title at least until he is large
enough to lick his father and go into court
for newer name
That story reminded another minister of
little thing that happened at christening
one time and he told it. a good mother,
who was no worse a woman for mai
formation that caused her to lisp, brought
her first born, girl, to church one morn
ing to have it ushered by baptism into a
proper life. The large congregation waited
with much interest for the event, as con-
grega ions always do. and the timid woman
stood up there and presented her baby to
the veteran minister, who had grown hard
eff hearing when he came to the ordinance
of infant baptism.
what is the namem he asked, as he
dipped mis- hand in the fount.
Lucy, sir, was what the good woman
tried Csay, but that aggravating lisp both
cred her, and she pronounced name that
made the old man straighten up in astonish-
ment
"Wh-a-at" he asked, with the widest sort
of a circumilex.
Lucy, sir" again essayed the mother. 1t
was the same result The old fellow grasped
the baby, dipped his hand in the fount
deeper than ever ard thea discharged his
duty regardless of age, sex or anything
else.
'Luciferl No; l will never confer so
heather a name or any christian child
George Washington Brown, l baptize thee
in the name of the Father, Son and Holy
Ghost, and may you teach your parents bet
ter manners"
There used to be an old fellow named
Askin who kept a drug store down
near Thirty-fifth street. He must have
either died or resigned his residence here,
for his name does not appear in the latest
directory He was strong adherent of
| the doctrine that all people were at first
named in accordance with apparent traits,
| qualities or occupations. He got his
own name. lie said, because his an
cestors we're given to asking
good many questions. But he was
an Insutferable bore with his perpetual
Undergraduates. He wanted to know every
thing about everybody. Nothing was too
private for him, nothing too sacred. 1t
| wouldn't have been so bad If he had kept to
| himself the things he did learn; but moth
| ing delighted him more than to retail to the
! first customer the little things he had found
! out from the last. One morning a new col
| lege student took rooms near him and
dropped in occasionally to buy cigar. He
| was not laxative young man, and was
| inclined to be rather dignitied
| Nv there were you last nightm queried the
! old man, smiling painfully at the youth one
day just after little party at which he
knew the student had attended. Pretty
| nice girl that was. | heard you took her TO
| the theater Wednesday afternoon and to
church last Sunday. You must be getting
very fond of her. Has she any money? |
| heard she ~ill not inherit anything from
the old mans estate-too much tied up with
| mortgages and security bonds and things of
that kind. How much is she worth? You
must excuse me for asking so many ques-
| tons. You know, | believe, we were all
named because OF some trait which made
the name chosen appropriate. My ancestors
We're great people to ask questions
Yes, but it was not that from which
they derived their names" responded the
| student, with the most charming urbanity
"What was it" queried the druggist.
tickled beyond expression that he had been
permitted to ask another question.
ny our original ancestor was very force
full man and sent the trait that made him
| famous clear down to his latest offspring.
He originally had one more letter in his
family name-the letter S. He was called
Ass-kin'-kin to an ass, you know. Nice
morning. Good morning"
But the druggist never forgave him nor
ever again alluded to the a propriateness
with which his pregenitors were named
Appropriate names" unused the man
who had not laughed That reminds me
of the old fellow who gave us all our di-
plomas when | was a graduate. He was a
very blunt man and a great hand to give
good advice, though he never troubled him
self much if the counsel he offered was not
altogether welcome. Among us was a
gaunt fellow who had barely gotten through
and whose name W S Hunt. He had any
amount of gail, and he bristled up to the
Old professor after the parchments had been
given out, desiring something in the way of
advice as to what course he should take in
life. For himself he thought he was fitted
for the ministry or the law, or something
| like that
What is your given namer asked the
gruff professor.
Jonathan Alexander Washington re-
piled the graduate proudly.
-. A. W. commented the cynic. j.
| A. w. Hunt-go learn to be a dentist and
that is what the young man did. And
| understand he has studied so we'll that he