The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1890-08-05

The speaker here paused to take a sip Of
water and renew his rock salt and then
said:
How did dis world git a start {? Some
of you may hev w ndered about it, but ii
is mo likely dat you has dun let it go, an
paid no 'tenshun to de matter. In de
fust place de Lawd had to find de space.
You cant build a cabin till you git de
space to build on. Sensation Oar
had to be a space to put de world in.
De atmosphere had to be showed aside to
make a big hole, an when de hole was
Oar de world commenced to make. You
have read dat e~berything was created in
six days. Mighty long days dose were.
| has fggered on it a good many times,
an I'ze tellin' ye dat it took thousands of
vars. Agitation Oar was a powerful
lot o periods to go frew wild befo' things
cum out ship shape. Oar was de chaotic
period "a time when everything was
wrong side up an inside u Flames
wa a-roltin-de ocean a-heavin', noun
tains risin' up to sink away agin, an dar
was no tellin' who would cam out on top.
Dat period lasted for 10000 vars, an it
vas a good thing dat we wasn't around.
THear!" Hear!'
Ode mex period was de passle period
"A time when eberything was passled
out accOrdin' to common sense. De
oceans war giben boundaries-de ribers
war giben beds de mountains war
distributed around to give moas cherry
body some side-hill al dar was a general
pickin' ober an sOrtin' out to make a
good appearance. Dis period lasted about
10000 Vars, an you didn't lose muffin by
bein' out of town. De next period is
known as de co0lin' off period. Ebe1y-
thing had been red hot fur 20, 600 vars,
an it took a heap O. time before dey got
cool huff to hapd,e. When dey did we
had a surface composed of water an SIGH.
Fur thousands of vars dar wasn't huff
sile fur a grasshopper to scratch in, nor
huff grass fur to make a grean streak on
a pair O white pants" Wells of delight.
"My trens," continued the speaker as
he emptied the water pitcher, "dar wa
odder periods-de ice period, de Drift
period, de dirt period, de grass period
and finally all was ready an waitin' fur
de man period. De world had Din created
an was all right. Birds were flynn
around, chickens roasted so low dat you
could reach up an pick 'em (applause) an
NC III "a oil y" OSOON w ~ w
MIXED. It was a beautiful scene. | kin
shut my eyes an see it. If you could
have bin dar at dat time you would hev
busted yourselves On 'possum an vans
lawful whoopsf. De latest kind Of pull
lets-de biggest sort O 'possums-de
heaviest vans an de moas' gigantic
watermel. yons-all right dar' begin of
you to eat EN- up widout costin' a cent"
Here she applause was so uproa.i0 that
the speaker had to pause for several
minutes. During this excitement Elder
Toots struck Anthony Johnson in tie
stomach with his knee, and Brother John
son lay apparently lifeleSs for four Water
bury minutes.
Den man an woman war created"
sale the orator when his voice could once
more be heard, IAN things has gone along
bang-up eber since. | has bin panied IN
grived to h'ar dat sartin Gu I'd men hev
contended da t de black man was bon
fust. In fac Adam was jist about my
size an complexion. [Applause]. Gem
len, GOan' you believe it. 1t hain't so. If
it was so we'd oe walkin' into barber
shops kept by white men an layin' our
selves back fur a shave. We wouldn't
hev dis fussy ha'r. We wouldn't be so
liberal in de size of de fut an de length
Of de heel. We would pass a smoked
ham hangin' in front of a grocery in de
night widout stoppin' to look if de grocer
war in. Awful sensation
"My frens, wild desc few homogeneous
disqualifcations I bid you good night, as
de hour has grown late, an I believe I
has satisfied you of de soundness Of my
theory. Think of these things fur your
sevles. Animadvert on de diaphram
doorin' your hours of leisure. Doan' ac-
cept things as you find them, but inquar'
of yourselves why de thusness of de this
ness emulates de consanguinity Of de co =
cordance.'
After the terrific applause has sub
sided and the dust settled down, Brother
Gardner arose and said:
"I-I can't 'zactly make it all out, but
I guess he hit de mark purity close. Let
Us 60 hum."-Dstr0it Free Press.