The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-05-16
BRIGHT BITS.

GEORGE WASHINGTON was worth nearly a
million of dollars, yet he wasn't able to buy
cent stamp with his portrait on it.-TerGs
SGtfngs.
AN OLD BALDHEAD, who is likewise an old
oacheIor as We'll as an old Scoundrel, speaks of
women as resembling gratifying news. They
are good; some Of them too good to be true
Puck.
A BIT OF PHILosoPHY-If you lend man five
dollars ne simply gets that much in your debt;
but II you allow him to wheadle you out of a
hundred you've made him an enemy for life
JUDGE
''RgsK is down Oh Harrison. l understand"
What is the natter
Harrison wante to speak to him the other
day and yelled Hay at him" --Munseys
Weekly.
SOME AcTIoN2Coal Dealer-Has higgins
taken any action on that bi of his yet?
Collector-Yes, a little. He kicked me down
stairs the last time 1 called and the bill with
me.-lerre Hatte Express.
Il HAVE an aunt that is very Unfortunate, p"
said Maude. She is slightly deaf and very
''Graciousiyg responded Mamie: what a
lovely chaperone she would make. Washing
ton Post.
OLD MILLIoN-what? Want to marry my
daughter? Why, the child is hardly out of
as much as ever.
Young Poorchap-O that's all right. III live
here.-Lfe.
MOTHER, our teacher came near Ickin' me
this morning. ~ NM
What for. Jphnny?i'
cause argued that when it was more than
one gooseberryit ought to be called geeseber
ries. "-Kentpckv State Journal.
WmLIE-Mamma. will God hate us If we don't
do just exactly as he says in the Bible!
Mamma %, / trust not darling! Why?
Willie-Because Billy wilkins punched me in
the stomach. and didn't have any other stom-
&C a to turn.-Bltrit10ton Free Press
WHATS the matter with mommer?" asked
the Prince of Wales. 7r,
4 fear her. majestyhas the grip, replied the
Il know she has, added Albert Edward. sad
ly, THE grip of the throne. '-EDoch.
SCIENTIST tdelishtedly trying long distance
telephone)-Hello, I'm in New YORK. Where
are you?
Voice tat other endl-Say lend me $4,000 for
Scfentist-Wonderful! Wonderful! That's
from Chicago.-Neto York Weekly
Two young men graduated from well known
medical school, and both went into practice in
New York, One was bright fellow and hard
worker and modest man, the other a man of
snowy parts and not given to overwork The
latter soon secured handsome practice The
other got little practice, and when making a
call upon his claSsmate, remarked: How is it,
j., that you, who never worked in school. who
often came to me for assistance over knotty
matters which rendered, land j. admitted all
as stated have large practice while am not
yet earning a living?n Come to the window
and l will explain TO you the whole case OF
every hundred persons you see passing trp
| street eighty at least are fools. 1 am doctoring
the eighty while you are attending to the
twenty wise men. '--Br7tn stoick Me } telegraph
DURING a moment of sojourn in law firms
office Pioneer Press interloper was surprised
by the sudden appearance of an ebon-hued sep
tuagenarian with huge For Rent poster in
his hands. The letters were six inches long and
as black as the mans face. Holding the placard
upside down he inquired: Boss. OATS fer rent,
amt hit?'' Yes" answered he, that's for
rent, sure enough DE gemman in de mex
on er house. Hits all right now, amt hitf'
1T won't be if you put it up that way; it's ND
side down" "Whuff difference dat make? I
KANT read, boss; but bless my soul eff kin see
how er mans gwine ter miss SEEM dem elefunt
tracks eff it's upside down. ] aiut litery but eff
seed dat sign sho'd stop in an inquire what
was gwine on wrong inside. sure huff, boss. -
st. Paul Pioneer-FreSs