Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1890-01-15
WORK or THE WITS.

It is . long lane that has NO tumble
for the ~bicyclist.
SOMETHING attractive in the way oil q
cigarette holder-s pretty girl's mouth.
MABEL--Amy, what has become OF
your anti slang society," Amy-Oh,
it's in the soup"
LITERARY men are . good deal like
hens. The author lays a plot and then
the editor sits on it.
Tommy wish the school-room was
round. Mother--Whyp $50 the teach
er couldn't make me stand in the
corner"
IT is the man who orders . room on
the top floor who takes up the most
room in writing his name on the hotel
register.
PHILADELpHIAS--Has Pittsburg any
thing OF q literary atmosphere? Pitts
burger~-Yes, it is noted for its volumes
OF smoke.
The infant King of Spain is to have
his portrait put on postage stamps.
This will make him more astuck up"
than ever.
"DtD you have q spicy call?" she
asked ssrcastically. after his return
from the haunts OF the festive Glove
between the acts.
We know men who insist at every
point upon beating their way through
life, but we observe that they all draw
the line at a carpet.
MOSES KLEIDERsTEIN - Sarah, my
dear, don't let Rachel come out; dis
shentelmans looks too enticing in dot
new suit of clio he's going to buy!
ONE Of the heather customs which
lady missionaries have to get used to is
not to look pleased when natives tell
them their babies look sweet enough to
eat.
MUDGF-If I were to lose my mind,
do you suppose l would be aware of it
myself? Doctor Boless -- You would
not, And very likely none OF your &C
quaintances would notice it, either.
In the back rarlor, before supper:
Mother-Carrie's coming-out is a sue
cess, james! Father tdisgustedly)-
Yes, indeed! There she standsl Look at
her! Could any II ask for any more
| VI Nor ~ COIne OUT.
YABsLEy--These novelists make me
tired. The idea Of q whitening glance
As if any one could be withered by a
mere look. Wickwire-You are young
yet, Iabsley. You never stepped on
your wife's train at a ball.
New Minister'S your papa at home,
little girl? l an the new minister, and
I understand that he is one OF the pill.
lars Of my church. Little Girl-Oh,
yes, he's always at home to ministers.
Ministers don't have bills, you know.
NJ. PERErrI has written q book to
prove that Columbus was a Corsican.
We believe it, for when Isabella asked
him if, with the proceeds Of her neck.
lace, he could get down east by sailing
west, he answered: "Of course /
can"
SWELL, Ican't see any fun in attend.
ing court" said All observant old lady.
Every time a witness goes to tell any.
thing that's got anything to do with
the case, all the lawyers jump up and
boiler, and the jedge rules the testi-
mony out"
YES. Flossie," said her mother,
"poor Willie Wafles never saw his f.
Their. He died before Willie was born"
This seemed to affect Flossie very
much. well, mamma" she said, draw
ing a long breath, "Tm glad You didn't
die before l was born"
A PARTIAL victory: First boy-Oh, I
got away with mother to-day. She
| tried to make me come in the house so
she could whip me, and I wouldn't do
it. Second boy-Bully for you. What
| did she do? "Oh, she whipped me,
but she had to come out in the yard to
do it,"
AN ALPHABETICAL woOIN0
Let others talk OF l. VS. eyes
Aud K rs figure light and free.
Say l. X too Is beautiful,
heed them not while Z G..
u need not n Y them. for U
XII them all. my NJ L f..
| have no words when ! would toll
How much IN love with u
80 sweet q II, my u r Il,
love your very F q;
And when you speak or sing, your vol"
Ia like q winsOln l. . u.
When u Il &c, hope d KS,
l am a mere non-N TT.
Such + 4 G has your smile
1t shields from N f N ME.
For love so deep a. mine, l fear.
There Is no other II L d.
But that you love me back AGAIN.
thought OF heavenly X TCl
So. lest my NJ 4 heart and
Should sing for love an l. G,
rs me no more-B fS, u kind!
Q, N Z, URICi