The Big Stone post. (Big Stone Gap, Va.) 1890-1892, 1890-08-15
'IHE .'S'NORES.
4 soSizISG EXPERIENCE or A sisSsi
HIVES LoSGsqFFEnIEG WEE
she Did Not Discover Her Husbands
Worst Failing Until 1t Was Too ss-,..
I.ates How a Shore Once Fl +.
Saved Fer Life. {,
c.oldSplnk.I y in I,ettoit prrc Press.l

SNtod faer Lire. .T
cold, Pink, in Detroit Pre- Press.l
Let me see. Ihaye been married twenty
six Years; that multiplied by BOO gives the
dreadful sun, tot al of . 4g9 days. ssa
hJust think af Siif. FOR :. 400 nights the.
pallid victim Of my h,asana + sn0ls.9 4;
When "Love plays the prelude Of her.
fate romantic maiden never dreams
that prince Charming could ever de-
sccnd to the vut sar -snore; and wonid
have died. 5etoSe cbnld ehearftcss y, IN
cold blood. Have asked Jonathan II he
snored / knew he was exemplary, his only
bad habit was smoking which, Of course,
I rather regarded IN the light of asmanlS,
accomplishment, YOU know. gently
sounded Jim about his other faults, for ]
was sure he had 'em, faultless men abeing
found onfy III heaven; and, on his admit
several gcomm6n FAULTS toS' which |
mYssF could hy chin, willinglylbscame,
hiSyife R - 4ss@ =. FEsasasa -
Daring our brief wedding trip was us
ualIv SO tired and sleepy that ! had little
trouble in;s wooing the s.drowsy god. but
o,enight was rudely awakened from his
embrace by II strange but fearful sound,
ike The srowl of distant thunder. After
moment it subsidized and was again,
dreaming of the prospective little cottage,
and hanging pictures on the walls ana
warming his new slippers before the red,
CHEEKY FIRE for dear John when-hark.
what rds that noise? Was it the girl
ecinding the breakfast Coffee No, this
time was not deceived; and as lay III
cold4sperspiration at the discovery, ana
listcnedsto the rise and. falliof that SOL
emn music, / kneic that my fate was
scaled, and that my idol was man who
snorcd drcadfuly, stealthily turned up
the gas and watched him narrowly. Not
aSpuckcr or wrinkle on his face, but still
that appalling sound. Then | took ms
shoe. held it high in the air, and LET 1T fall
with thud. Not being Chicago bellies
the noise did not cause him to move a
muscle. Sleep was murdered for that
night, and for many succeeding ones
and Tlav awake and suffered and listened.
"K-a-u-g-h a-k-a-u-g-h!'' Sometimes,
right in the middle of it, he would
break down catch his breath and strug-.
gle. Ny suspense was great; how did
know but that the head of the family
might die, before he could grasp the re-
frain=or as the b0:, say "catch OIL
again? fE
NV reflections we're pathetic for.
thought l, Il may live TO be. over one out
hundred! The Woodses were all long
liSGds race Dear met How !ardss to
endure sthis nightly spegatory with my
sensitive neryesye Now J ohnathaniss tenn
pertinent was quite the opposite to mine.
Calm and slow, he did not LET the world
flesh nor the denilibother Inns for, as he
was wont to say: II tell YOU, when go
to bed Danish all care and am in for
sleep y ~ -
stood it as only Il brave loving woman
can: but at last got homesick, and, at
for a night of unparalleled nasal exer-
ton, (and, to ms sleepy, distorted imagi-
nation, his throat seemed rs deep as Gran
ny,s Dutch bake oven with the classic
rose an escape valve), | cried a little and
said: 81 want to see mother. John. The
kindest andbest fellow in the world kissed
me, and bought my ticket for home.
So the next day was steaminS away
towards the old farm. The next two weeks
] rested up and gave myself up to sleep,
soul and body. Like Marbles fat boy,sl
had to be punched up occasionally dur
ing the day A pang would clutch at my
heart sometimes when poor Johns honest
ewes seemed to see sad and wistful; so
] went hack, determining, to remonstrates
and try to-6reak him of his infrnity. = = a
When / diligently, in calm, Judicial
mannerZand told him he snorcd horribly
and must try to stop it, he looked ut me,
with n repr0achfulgg of3mdignation,
surprise and grief. What, me?" could
hardly convince him of his guilt--hc re-
fcrred me to his old college chum. "Ask
him." said.J chm "nevey heard him CONF
plsin,,buts if 4 sdo kreathe sort !9cheayy;
wIfy. lust punch me 1a iittlesor make me
lie.oflj INV side.s I. took him at ahis word
that night. had almost dared to hope
he would sleep quietly, but Of course he
didn't; and so, after listening about, ten or.
fifteen minutes, said: "John, you're
snoring; turn over!'' Again that look of
reproach. 81 wasn't even asleep! Haven't
been asleep since lay down." After that
no captain of naval ship maneuvered his
craft with more diplomacy and care than
did nv unfortunate good man. Punch
ing him under the short spare rib did no
good, for he was naturally more irritable
asleep than when awake, and, waking with
bound, would demand: "What dye do
that fort would sooner he hit a clip"
Butt found, by persistently and untir,
lnRlv rOlllnS MIN osef oli hie eiu', 49,.
times caught enough sleep to keep my
reason from tottering on the throne. Y
Then Johnathan's mother came on
visit, and I laid the matter before her.
"Why, is that soy said she, with her
quiet ripple of laugh. Il never, knew
Jonathan snored." But as she seemed
ia. take. the matter as a Joke, don't dis.
turb her equanimity, but listen while she
reads delicious bits hereyandg there Z from
.Hiawatha." After q bit |. look up and
find her doing and presently lost IN 9. 9
midday snap, and soon a familiar soma rs
heard, but modified slightly, and ! KNOW
now who John takes after .-.. s,.,,gz. ~
| havesalways had a woman's nslal;tlm-
idity about burglars, and am still more
afraid OF. a pistol; Thinking We should
hayasome wcapon of defense, any NUS 7,
Il = ~ Il II, =, cra h N III liy -