The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-10
KNowTHE MAN YOU MARRY.
Very Hard for Girl to Find Out About
a Man Until She is Married to Him.

"You may talk about the difficulties that
lie in the way of mans knowing a girl be-
fore he marries her," said young matron
of the fashionable set day or two ago,
'but pray consider the other side of the
question, which seems TO me very much
| more striking. How much does a girl
| know-indeed, how much can she know
about the man she marries until after the
weddingl Why, nothing at all, or almost
nothing. Aud it is 10 that very fact that
attribute the failure of most unsuccessful
marriages. The young woman simply
doesn't become acquainted with her hus-
band until after the knot has been tied. Is
it astonishing, under such circumstances.
that she should frequently be disappointed
in him afterward~
81 will venture to saw she continued,
'that in majority of instances the young
wife is considerably disappointed after mar
riage in g man she mas chosen. How can
it DO otherwisel Often the idol must be
altogether shattered; but if this is not the
case, happily, the idea she has formed of
him usually has to be reconstructed more or
less. Perhaps he may oe satisfactory in his
new aspect and perhaps not. At ali events
he is not at all likely to appear the same
man he did
WHILE SHE WAS ENGAGED TO HIM.
During that period he was on his very best
| behavior, and you know what that signifies
with a young bachelor. l have learned a
good deal about such things from what my
own husband has told met is astonishing
how precious green l used to be. He is per-
feet, of course; but then L believe him to lie
altogether an exception"
"Surely your husband has not been guilty
of the crime of giving his own sex awayF'
mot Intentionally; but certain remarks
| Of his, made from time to time, have en-
| lightened me considerably. As well as | can
make out, the typical young gentleman
whom one meets in society leads sort OF
double life all the time. He is like a cat,
which is gentle and sleek, snoozing peacea
bly, by the hearth during the day, but at
night fights and caterwauls on the back
fences. So it is with the agreeable young
bachelor. He. too, is as sleek and gentle and
purring posi- lie on all occasions when
he is in the society of ladies. One meets
him at parties and finds him always we'll
bred and delightful. He comes to call aud
makes himself charming. One encounter S
him on the street and he is
PLEASING AND wELL-MANNERED AS EVER.
He is the sort of a man W HON the mammes
look upon, maybe, with favoring eye, and
he Is seen everywhere, always the persona
fication Of everything that is comme II faut.
Very likely he locks as innocent as q baby
no one would imagine from his appearance
that he ever did anything wrong. And Yet
how more than probable it is that he is
wicked as wicked can be. 1t is ten to one
that he has all sorts of vices. Xou will find
him in his club pursuing a select few of
them-drinking, smoking, PLAYING poker or
seven-up for money ami telling naughty
stories O, know something about these
things now myself. And those bad practice IS
| have men Toned are presumably only
the beginning. What does he do outside of
his club! Goodness only knows. Ger
tainly he is not always behaving himself
in manner that ne would like to have re
ported in detail to the young ladies whom
he calls ION and dances with. In their
society he is one person, in the company of
other men ne is altogether another. The
man the girl who is engaged to him knoF
as her fiance, is not the real man at all, but
a creature entirely artificial. In the lower
walks of life this is not nearly so much the
case; but in the fashionable world every
one wears a mask"
But women, have always understood
don't object to men being trifle wicked. u
WOMEN ARE CHARITABLE.
There is some truth in that, admit
Women have grown accustomed to tn,
Il tlon that young men must SOW a few vile
oats and they are also aware of the fact thai
it isn't quite healthy symptom for you'll
to be too good. Their idea of what mems
indiscretlons consist in are exceedingly
vague, but they are apt to think that suct
indiscretons, whatever they are, must b.
awfully jolly, and even to say that if they
had been bora TO pantalOons instead of pet
ticoats they would be wicked too. SO, as
rule, they don'J blame the men. | dom
myself so very much. The trouble is that
man may have vices of serious permanenc
3 without its being known to the girl who pro
1 poses to marry bin. However, what hav,
, meant all along is that young woman unde
such circumstances does not obtain an
knowledge OF the character in genera
e way of the man she accepts until he has
: been made her hu band. AS for moderate
@ | degree of wlldness, ante-matrlmonia
women are usually Indifferent to that
they rather like to feel that they are help
1 ing man out of what he has been befor
9 into something better, nor are they dispose
! to be jealous Of the past, unlike men,"
/ BROTHERS. ADVICE USELESS.
a ''Girls' brothers will generally tell then
n if they don't think this or that man desir
Q able matrimonially."
Eyes; but what does that amount to?
a girl, if she likes a man, is not going t
Y listen very readily to anything her brothe
has to say against him. A brother, though
9 he may N 1T be very devoted Co his sister
always thinks that no man is good enoug
I to marry her. If he says anything agains
J, the fellow she fancies it is rather apt tina
=, not TO help things along. As for the father
he is not in the least likely to know any
o thing worth mentioning, that is to the youn
e mans dlScredlt, however much may exist
d He is not acquainted with the younge
l. set. presumably; does not belong t
o the same club, and has no source
: for information of the kind, unles
, some one should come to him an
e tell him, as a matter of friendship that Mr.
d Shocks is mauvais sujet. But such
d thing as that, for obvious reasons, is rarel,
- done. Even if it did occur the daughte
II would have a fair show of reason for de
: Glazing it pure malice, and she would q
d once begin 10 regard the objectionabl
youth as a martyr and victim to persecu
IS ton, which is the last thing to be desired
r No, you can't very we'll keep young gentle
t men of Objectionable morals and cha acbe
r out of your house altogether, and if tn
9 young ladies of the family happen to take
+ liking to them, getting rid of them is a
d most an imposslbilty. Thus you see tina
r the girl
u MUST ALMOST INEVITABLY MARRY
il without being really acquainted to any ex
tent with her husband beforehand. Tn
= usual course of events is that she meets hr
70 at party, he is granted permission to cal
n and within few months or even week
II she announces to her more or less surprise
II parents that she has accepted an offer c