The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1890-01-31
The ARIZONA KICKER.


Editorial Lie.
We extract the following from the
last issue of the Arizona Kicker:
HAD TO Do IT.-That gander-shanked
living skeleton who edits the mortgaged
sheet down on Blackjack avenue is out
with trade against us for shooting
Sioux Jim last week. He is seeking to
get up public feeling against us, al
though he very well knows that we
were fully exonerated by the coroner's
jury
Sioux Jim, who was half breed, was
fighting drunk. He was looking for a
victim when he met us on Apache ave.
nue.. He drew his knife with the purpose
Of carving our anatomy to strings, but
before he could proceed we pulled our
gun and sent six red hot bullets into
his carcass. He was the third man we
have had to kill this fall in defense OF
our own life, and as we have had to pay
all the burial expenses in each case no
one can claim that we have shot for fun.
It cost us $50 cold cash to plant Jim in
decent shape, and no one would have
given $40 for him when alive.
PERHAPS IT WAs.-Last week a num-
Der of gentlemen organized what they
allied "The Debonaire Literary So
lety," and secured room over Plum's
grocery for their weekly place of meet
ing. There was good deal of chuck
ling and grinning around town when 1t
was learned that we had been DELHI
oro to1 o,ubbod Ix, tho n forosoid cOo;otv
Many friends called to tender their SYM
pathies and advice, but we did not need
any consolation.
Where is that society to-day? Echo
answers: ''Where?" We simply tele-
graphed to Omaha, Denver, Lincoln,
Virginia City and two or three other
towns that such person, wanted for
horse-stealing, barn-burning or bigamy
was here, and within four days the De
bonaires were wearing bracelets. Per
haps it was good idea to snub us. Per-
haps some other society will try it ON.
GIVEN IT UP.-With this issue of the
Kicker we cease the weather forecasts
which we have been publishing as fore
casted from Our own observatory for the
last six weeks. While we have had
wonderful luck in hitting the weather
for three and four days ahead, our local
subscribers have had no interest in it
and have discouraged our enterprise.
This arises from the fact that no one
here cares cast iron cent what the
weather is. If fair they 60 out and
shoot jackass rabbits and run horses
If foul they gather in the bar-room and
drink whisky and play seven-up. The
least that concerns them is what the
weather is going to be on the morrow,
and we don't propose to educate them
up to feel anxious about it.
WE PLEAD GUILTY.-We were called
upon the other evening to act as referee
for prize fight at the Arcade Athletic
rooms, and because we refused the honor
certain persons are observing that it
was because we felt ''stuck up" and
thought ourselves better than the gen.
eral run. We plead guilty to both insin
uatiOns. We are altogether too high ur
in the scale to referee a prize fight,
and we feel ourselves as far above Ger
tain men in this town as the eagle is
above the grasshopper.
And why not? What other newspaper
in this country has increased it's circula-
ton two hundred per cent. in six months?
What other newspaper has a combina-
ton under its roof of grocery, feed
store, butcher shop, a bakery, sad
dlery and a repository for the sale OF
wheel-barrows! People who take rs for
scrub haven't got their eyes open yet
SETTLED IN FULL.-The fifth breach
OF promise suit brought against us in
the last eight months was settled out of
court yesterday and all further proceed
lngs ontinued. This suit was brought
by Miss Aramantha De Riyes, daughter
OF the we'll known Judge De Rives, of
Jackass Terrace.
We determined at first to fight this
suit to the bitter end, but it having come
to our knowledge that Mrs. De Rives
had overheard certain declarations OF
ours, and that the fair plaintiff had pre-
served all our letters we deemed it a
matter of prudence and economy to set
tie. AS the terms were not to be con-
sidered secret, we state them here. We
bilked the fair Aram antha because we
discovered that she had cork foot and
| bad case of catarrh. If we ever marry
we want a wife who is sound on her pins,
and we don't care to stumble over an
outfit to cure catarrh every time we pass
| through the house.
While the plaintiff had the bulge on
US to certain extent, we had some
thing Of a bulge to offset it. We knew
that her mother used to run a second
hand clothing store in Denver, and, by
! telegraphing certain sheriff, we could
have had the Judge returned to prison
to serve out five more years. We agreed
to pay $40 and keep quiet-$2O in trade
and $40 in cash-and the proposition was
accepted. This ends the case and leaves
all good friends, and we sincerely hope
that the dear girl will soon be better OF
her catarrh, and that her cork foot NAV
not stand in the way of another loving
her truly and devotedly.-Detroit Free
Press
lime was when lady or gentleman
who, after term or two at dancing
school, could waltz fairly we'll, could
polka or schottische little and walk
through quadrille withouta blunder.
considered his or her terpsichorean
education complete. Not SO nowadays.
No longer is the graduate called out"
for the guidance of the dancer. The
cotillon, with the military and ancient
minuet features Of tho early part Of
the century has been revived, and
new dances are brought out every
season. Many of them are quite intri
cate. They are known only by their
names No word of direction is
! snoken The ne,.sor, ,uhe, das;rcs 41, b.