davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1890-09-06

HoT.I' Hayscales makes . swell ma
for weighsido inn.-N. O. PlcAyunA
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1890-09-06

MINISTER to horse jockey: "What Is your
business, may I aski' Horse jockey: Il
I'M In the service Of the American Track
Society. "-Bostou Herald
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1890-09-06

"In on Q strike and I need bread" raid
q carpenter TO q baker That's odd" re-
piled the baker. "When I'm on strike
never kuead bread"
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1890-09-06

TnE average boy win mako . pair Of pam
saloons look antiquated In day. There 10
aothing new under tho sun-Burlington
Treo Press.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1890-09-06

% 6rieht ana healthy q YOURS do" Re-
piied tks other isdy: aMins would look just
g sickly and puny q yours IL did not oc-
ossiooallX give them Dr.. Bull's Worm De-
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1890-09-06

HAMIxy In thought 70 have belonged
the typographical union: He killed Polonir.
becsuso ho thought the latter was rat"
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1890-09-06

Mas. WIssMAx: isn't your husband .
little baldr' Nrs. Hendricks Indignant
In: There isn't bald hair in his head"
Chatter.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1890-09-06

good book agent thinks bis tongue il per-
0uasive enough 10 control tho affairs Of .
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1890-09-06

A CASH cntry-Dropping . nickel In the
slot.-Washin4tou Star.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1890-09-06

8. K. CosuRx, Mgr, Clarie Scott, writes:
II find Halls Catarrh Cure valuable rem
edy." Druggists sell II &c.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1890-09-06

A TENNIS suit 70 not very loud, but Q
racket nearly always eoes With it.-Wash-
inRfon Star
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1890-09-06

SNIra's Tonic Syrup II the best medicine
for aGuo and malaria Those who arc pale
and emaciated from chills and fever and loss
Of appetite should tryit You will do suffer-
ing humanity . great favor BY publishing this
automatically n SnUh, IaspeS Co., No
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1890-09-06

Full swing Two in the hammock
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1890-09-06

SHOULD b upright pcople-Poles.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1890-04-17
ADVICE To auTHxKs.

Are you disturbed at night and brok, 4
of your rest by a sick child suffering and
crying with pain OF cutting teethf II so,
send at once snd get bottle of Mrs
Winslow's Soothing Syrup for children
teething. Its value is iDcalculable
1t will relieve the poor little sufferer i'm,
mediately. Depend upon it mothers,
there is no mistake about il. 1t cures
dysentery, diarThoes, regulates the stom.
ach and bowels, cures wind collie, soft
ems the gums, reduces Inflammation. and
gives tone and energy to the whole sys-
TEN. Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup
for Children Teething is pleasant to the
taste, and is the prescription of one OF
the oldest and best female nurses and phy.
sicians in the United States, and is fol
sale by all druggists throughout the
world. Price 25 cents per bottle.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1890-04-17

NO TRUSTING APPEARANCES.
A Case Where the Victims Worst Fault
Was Being q Lawyer.

Was Being Lawyer.
Attorney c. G. Babcock is very hon
est looking young gentleman, and yet
this morning he was twice taken for a
thief and once for dead beat.
Mr.. Babcock went into restaurant on
Third street and deposited his umbrella
in the rack and hung his handsome black
derby hat on nickel plated hat hook.
When the disciple of Blackstone had fin
ished his repast he walked over to the
wall and took what he supposed was his
hat, put it on and started toward the
counter to pay for his breakfast.
An athletic gentleman, who was eating
his morning repast and watching his port
able property, roared out:
Come back here, sir, and leave my
hiatt"
All the ladies and gentlemen in the
restaurant watched Mr.. Babcock as he
replaced the hat and took his own.
The young lawyer was as mad as a
hornet and somewhat confused at the
contretemps. Then he walked over to
the umbrella rack and picked up an UNI
brella. The observant gentleman whose
hat Mr.. Babcock had taken noticed that
it was his umbrella that was being car
ried off, and he shouted in stentorian
tones:
drop that umbrella or I'll hand you
over to the police"
Mr.. Babcock saw that he had made a
second mistake and soon fished his own
rain shedder from among the many 9TH
ers that were in the rack.
Then he left the restaurant, and he
was called back by the cashier, who
came to the door and excitedly said:
Hadn't you better come back and pay
for Your breakfast? You will at least
avoid being handed over to the police"
As ne still had his check for fifty cent
breakfast in his hand Mr. Babcock walked
back and paid his bill, with the eyes of
every lady and gentleman in the place
fixed suspiciously upon him.
One elderly lady audibly remarked:
"IIe doesn't look like thief, but you
can't tell by looks nowadays what per-
son is, as good clothes don't cost much. :"
Seattle Press.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1890-04-17

All medical authorities agree that ca
taIrh is no more nor less than an infiam-
nation of the lining membrane of the ma !.
sal air passages. Nasal catarrh and all
catarrhal affections of the head are not
diseases Of the blood, and it is a serious
mistake to treat them as such. No con-
scientious physician ever attempts 10 do
so. 1t is held by eminent medical men
that sooner or later specific will be
found for every disease from which hu-
manity suffers. The facts justify US in
assuming that for catarrh at least pos
tive cure already exists in Ely's Cream
Balm.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1890-04-17
A Sare Investment,

Is one which is guaranteed to bring
you satisfactory results, or in case of fail
ure return of purchase price. On this
safe plan you can buy from our sdver.
tise druggist bottle of DR.. Kings New
Discovery for consumption. 1t is guar
anteed TO bring relief in every case. when
used for any affection of throat. lungs or
chest, such as consumption, infiamma-
ton of lungs, bronchitis, asth ma. whoop-
ing cough, Group. etc. etc. 1t is pleas
ant and agreeable to taste, perfectly safe,
and can always he depended upon. Trial
bottles free at HarrZ & Bahnsen's drug
store.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1890-04-17
The Successful Rnse.

Private Flott has left the barracks
without leave. His friend, the corporal,
desires to hide his absence from the of
ticer of the day. He gets a floor brush,
wraps some clothes about it, arranges
the brush part neatly for the pillow and
lays it in Flott's bed.
The officer, somewhat short sighted,
finally comes to the bedside.
Who is this sleeping herel"
Private Flott," answers the corporal.
"A negligent, careless man" remarks
the officer severely. Tell him the first
thing tomorrow to get his hair cut.
Good nightv'-Exchange.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1890-04-17
MERIT WINS.

We desire to say to our citizens, that
for years we have been selling DR.. Kjnc's
New Discovery for consumption. Dr.
Kings New Life Pills, Bucklen's Aruica
Salve and Electric Bitters, and have
never handled remedies that sell as well,
or that have given such universal satis>
faction. We do not hesitate to guaran
tee them every time. and we stand ready
to refund the purchase price, if satisfac-
tory results do not follow their use.
These remedies have won their great
popularity purely on their merits Har'z
& Bahnsen, druggists.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1890-04-17
What IT Cnsta

Must be carefully considered by the
great majority of people in buying even
necessities of life. Hoods Sarsaparilla
commends itself with special force to the
great middle classes. because it combines
positive economy with great medicinal
power. 1t is the only medicine of which
can truly be said 100 doses one dollar. .
and a bottle taken according to directions
will average to last month.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1890-04-17
In the pursuit OF the pooa thing

In the pursuit OF the good things Of
his world we anticipate too much; we
eat out the heart and sweetness of world
ly pleasures by delightful forethought of
them. The results obtained from the use
of DR.. Jones Red Clover Tonic far exceed
all claims. 1t cures dyspepsia, and all
stomach, liver, kidney and bladder
troubles. 1t is a perfect tonic, appetizer,
blood purifier, sure cure for ague and
malarial diseases Price. so cents, Of
druggists.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1890-04-17
BUcKLKN 8 ARNICA sALvR

The best sslve in the world for cuts.
bruises, sores, ulcers, salt rheum, fever
sores, letter, chapped hands, chilblains.
corns and all skin eruptiops. and posi-
lively cures piles, or no pay required. 1t
is guaranteed to give perfect satisfaction
or money refunded. Price 20 cents per
box. For sale bv Hsrtz & Bahnsen.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1890-04-17
Had a Quorum Without Him

young man was calling on con-
gresham daughter the other evening,
when the father appeared at the parlor
door,
May l come in:" he asked, hesitat-
ingly?
'-Oh, yes" she answered, ''you may,
but we have a quorum without you"
Then he didn't. Washington Star.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1890-04-17
The biggest Story.

A number of ex-soldiers were recount
ing their deeds of valor:
AT Gravelotte shot seven that ]
know of"
Il killed eleven the same day"
And | brought down nineteen
The number went on increasing in
wonderfulness to the last.
''All this is as nothing, gentlemen -
said the quiet man; 81 remember on that
occasion was killed myself. Prom the
French
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1890-04-17
why Mrs. Ii. Lectured Him.

Mr.. Benedict-WhatlA Alone, Miss PERT
Let me take you down to supper.
Miss Pert-Really, you should not de.
prive yourself of the pleasure of taking
Mrs. Benedict down.
MIR. b. (smihngly)-No pleasure at all
assure you.-Lawrence American
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1890-04-17

A general suspension of payments 70
one year has been found necessary in the
Argentine republic 10 allow the CONNER
cial and financial men To get over the re
suits of the wild speculation in which
they have been indulging of late.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1890-04-17
when Poverty Comes in at the Door.

She-We never quarreled when we
were engaged!
He-No; ! thought butter wouldn't
melt in your mouth then.
She-It hasn't since we were married,
that's certain. Haven't had enough of it
to melt. Munsey's Weekly
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1890-04-17
Feeling Blue.

Teacher-How do we tell if anything
is sweet or sour?
Pupil-By the sense of taste.
And how do you distinguish colors|
''By the sense of touch"
You can't feel colors, can you?"
Yes; don't you sometimes feel blue?'
Omaha World-Herald.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1890-04-17
A Special Inducement.

Stranger thinking of locating)-What
inducements can you offer to influence a
man to come here and settle?
Board of Trade Official-Well, sir, we
have one of the most attractive GENE.
teries in the entire state.-Lowell Citizen.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1890-04-17

Horsefiesh is said to be the worst thing
in the world to give people the night
mare
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1890-04-17

A bill taxing church property has
passed the Manitoba legislature. The
buildings and the land to the amount of
two acres on which they are situated
will be exempt
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1890-04-17

Oh, if l only had her complexion /,
Why, it is easily obtained. Use Pozzoni's
Complexion Powder.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1890-04-17

It is reported that in the Tennessee
penitentiary women are stripped to the
a,hack.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1890-04-17
S p e CEE c S i.
The Great RestOrer!! !!
Blood Purifier, Tonic, Nerve
aud Brain Food.
A Most Remarkable Remedy

"A Most Remarkable Remedy-
Which Conquers and ErRdicates Disease There
may tie no ailment so serious but that a faithful
course of this medicine will restore you health.
We truly believe il 10 be TIE BEST compound
(pureiy vegetablel which con he prepared, and
used. Sine La Grippe" has added smother ter
ror to the list, it IL with renewed satisfaction we
can assare you this medicine will overcome il
and leave you free from lts baneful effects,
Many of you know something OF the unpsral-
elled virtuos of this wonderful compound. which
not only builds and tones up the wrsting ener-
gies nut il also purifes the blood and eradica es
all di sense. II is pure and elegant vege able
compound and lust what is needed. Druggists
can get IL. Send for advise and circulars.
IL il warranted. We shall be happy to send
pamI hlets giving many particulars 10 ali who
wish them, 81 00 per bottle, For further par
ticulsrs address
TIE GREAT RESTORER WORKS,
1860 Portland Ave Minneapolis, Mimi g.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1890-04-17

YES friend have praccing profession medicine
thirty years and have studied this matter of blood
am frank to say that Swifts Specific
found for this hrahe poison and
consequences 1t eliminate the
at the time builds patient appetite
and digestion and the whole
old potash and and
disease for another and of the sick person
Have used S S treatment remarkable success
j. WILEY QUILIIAN, NJ d. Easey S. c.
of and
great pleasure IN saying was perfect producing
have also tried II other results
J. Il. YERION, NJ. d., Mllsap Tex
Treatise contagious blood poison mailed
~ .,., SWIFT SPECIFIC co, Atlanta, Ga
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1890-04-17
THE TRAVELLERS GUIDE.


CHICAGO, ROCK ISLAND & PACIFIC RAIL
~ wsy-Depot corner Fifth SvenEe and Thirty
hr-t street, G. II SHELTON, agent.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1890-04-17

BURLINGTON ROUTE C., b. h Q. RAIL
~ way-Depot First avenue and Sixteenth St,
J. Young, agent,
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1890-04-17

Passenger train. arrive and depart from Uuion
depot Peoria.
Accommodation train leaves Rock Island 6:45
p. m. arrives at Peoria 80 q. m. Leaves Peoria
is p. m. arrives at Rock Island :O5 a. m.
CABLE BRANCH.
Accom-, IMlS Ac Accos
Lv. Rock leland. .... $50 ami go AMI 4.0O pm
Arr. Reynolds ........ TAO am 20. % ami sos pm
Cable. Sis ami % am 5 20 pm
| Accom-. Ml&Ac, Accom-.
Lv. Gable. e....-.-..... $50 sm 12 80 PM 3.45 pm
Ar Reynolds .-......l 40 AN l. IS pm 4.25 pm
" Rock Island .... sos am 800 pm SO pm
Chair car on Fast Express between Rock Island
and Peoria In both directions.
/ Ii. B. SUDLOW, r. STOCKHOUSE,
Superintendent. Gen1 Tkt. Agent.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1890-04-17

THlCAGO, MILWAUKEE Il ST. PAUL RAIL
~ way-Rscine 4 Southwestern Division-De-
pct TweF tieth street between First and Second
avenue E ID. w Holmes agent
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1890-04-17

DOCK ISLAND & PEORIA RAILWAY-DE-
1o pot First avenue and Twentieth atreet- F.
Ii Rockwell. Agent.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1890-05-09
Will They Ever Wear 1t?

Lady Florence Dixie, who, riding man
and has given the world charming sketches
of her iourneyings, has begun an earnest
crusade against the wearing of long skirts
by women for Il walking costume. She
speaks Of the changes that have taken
place in woman's garments in the last few
years, and then adds:
'Yet still the bugbcIr skirt remains
hampering to the limbs, the spouse of mud
and dirt the tyrant which practically de-
clares that woman's lower limbs shall be
muscleless and weak from lifelong mae
tiyity."
She does not want woman to adopt
mans costume, because it is so ugly. but
she says:
Il know my remark will be received
with shouts of horror by many-of derision
by few-but | unhesitatingly declare
that The day is fast approaching when the
hidcous and senseess long skirt will die a
natural death. | am not an advocate Of
trousers for womcn-unless it be the zou-
ave pattern-for think trousers are hid
eous at any time; hideous on men, much
more so on women The difference in
mans appearance in the Kilt to what he
presents when In trousers is very marked
The former is graceful and becoming, the
latter neither one or the other
The ideal dress for women, such as Lady
Florence wears in Scotland, she describes
as follows:
1t consists Off flannel shirt, knicker-
bockers, kilt and loose jacket. Ia it | am
free; in it | can walk twenty, thirty miles
a day if need be, over the toughest ground;
but put me In the hated skirt and / am at
once feeble and unable 10 move.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1890-05-09
Bismarck on the Labor Prob
lem.

In recent interview with press CORES
pondent on the pr obable effect of the
great May Day demonstration to take
place throughout Europe on the first OF
May, Prince Bismarck, the great German
statesmen, gave his views on the labor
question. The antagonism between labor
and capital" Bismarck says, ''is the result
of the natural law, and i'll the course OF
nature can never come to an end. We
will never reach the situation where the
laboring man will say, We are satisfied
both for ourselves and tor our children and
for those who come after us. 1t may be
considered an axiom that the desire of the
laborer to improve his condition and to get
on will last as long as he sees anyone
whose condition is better than his own
In this eternal struggle between labor and
capital labor has scored the most victories
Such will be the case whenever the labor
ing man has the ballot and should there
ever be d final victory it will be his But
if this struggle ever does come to an end
human activity would come to a dead lock
and human struggles and striving come to
an end, which ia not, l think, the intention
of divine providence. Where, as in thous-
ands Of islands in the southern oceans, the
consequences of climate and production is
food without effort, and there is no neces-
sity for working, men might live and be
content like sleek, good -natured animals,
but in our life the strife and the struggle
that accompany it produce progress and
civilization by the friction of human com
petition. No, this conflict of classes will
never cease, and to solve it, like trying TO
solve the problem OF squaring the circle, is
the utopian dream of thousand years.
The millennium is to be realized only when
men become angels"
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1890-05-09
Sherman'S March.

LET me relate to you little episode of
my famous march to the sea One day |
halted with my staff at a house on a large
plantation and asked the gray headed old
planter sitting on the piazza for drink Of
water. He called to some Of his colored
men. then slaves, and ordered bucket of
water. which was brought with gourd to
drink from. While | aud my officers were
drinking from the gourd the old planter
sat and eyed US mquisiliycly. He, OF
course, knew thai ! was an officer from
my dress and staff, but did not know my
rank of office or name.
Hearing one Of my staiT address me as
General, he turned quickly with a look Of
surprise and said:
Are you General
"'Yes, sir.
"'What is your manner
d" sherman
Sherman; you Gen. sherman
II suppose | am
"'How many men have you gotP
"a million
Now, I'd just like to have you answer
me one question more. Where are you
going from herei"
"'Well, now, that is considerable to re-
quest OF an entire stranger, and under the
circum3tgnces.
." Bat promise TO keep it a secret
Are you sure that you can keep a Sc
crct if impart it to you?'
Certainly. certainly, l will, on my
honor as a gentleman.
But there is a risk. you know. What
if ] should tell and my intentions become
publicly known
- i promise that ! will not tell your So.
cret to a single human being. You can
trust to me implicitly
" ! GU are quite sure | can trust your
Most certainly am, with the utmost
safety (said eagerly.
well, then, | will tell you. / am GO
ing where d please. Good day
"The expression Of that mans face can
better be ina gined than described on his
being informed Of my intentions"
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1890-05-09
He Didn't Understand.

To prevent mistakes in transmitting, tbs:
grain and commission men have a well \
tablished cipher in which words that a:
not liable to be mistaken by the telegrai h
operator are used in the place of the qa,
tation figures. Some of the Kansas Cu
firms use the cipher in corresponding wi.
their out of town customers, and Others
not, as the general run of customers &.
not familiar with the cipher.
A Kansas man was in Kansas City la i
year and made large purchase of whea'
with leading commission house On
per cent margin, says the Star of that Gill;
He requested the firm to telegraph h:.,i
the quotations the next day, and q clerk
the firm was instructed to present b. .
with cipher key, but neglected to do
The Kansas man now tells the story
his speculation with great gusto.
The next morning he received te.
gram:
Opened, disgust"
He was somewhat surprised and fai. !
to make any sense out CT the message. ).
little later he received another message:
Disguised"
He did not know what it meant, but II
was signed He telegraphed back to Toe
commission firm:
$50 am l."
A little later came telegram
Disgusting"
By this time he was getting mad, and
sent back another message:
II should say it was disgusting. waat
do you meant"
Before he had fairly got his answer on
the wires there came another message:
"Disheartened."
So was the Kansas man; so he waited
and did not answer. But when another
message came in Dishonest" he SEM
word back:
'I won't dispute it, and think you are
crazy also Sell all my wheat at once"
A little later he received a message:
sold just in time. Now disgorge."
To say that the Kansas man WAS mal
would be putting it mildly. He tool TIA
train that night for Kansas City tn see
what it meant, and when he found out hc
treated all around.
Disgust translated is 999 cents; disgu't-
ed, 995 cents; disgusting, 100 cents; dis
heartened 1901 cents; dishonest, 1901
cents, and disgorge, 99f cents.-Kansn'
City Journal