Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-12-21
A TURN In LONDON.
Knox Goes the Rounds Of the Music
Halls Following McCarty.
AN OVERDOSE OF ONE SONG.
The Secret of Second-Class Theatrical
Managers in London.
SKETCH BY THE POPULAR HUMoRIsT
WRITTEN FOR THE DIsPATcH.I

~ III AVA SAAS - ASA@SAAASS
WRITTEN FOR THE DIsPATcH.I
Our party consisted of the Major from
Philadelphia, the theatrical manager from
Boston and myself. We were in London,
and the next day were to sail from Liver
pool for New York.
1--WE have seen," said the manager, "alI
the theaters that we care to see in London,
and we have visited some of the swell music
halls-the Alhambra, the Empire and otherT
Of that class. Now think we should sea
some of the music halls of the second OF
third class before we leave. I have been
offered, by a theatrical friend, card thst
will admit us to any of them and secure for
Us, as be expressed it, the best in the house
Shall we go? Is it agreed?"
"Agreed.'s
We procured q carriage, and at about 9
o'clock arrived at the Savoy Music Hall
and Temple OF Mirth, Music and Momus."
The complimentary card procured Tor US
cordial welcome from hoarse-voiced man,
who, beside other loud apparel, wore red
necktie adorned with cut glass kohinoor.
He gave us seats in box close to the stage.
HOW THE AUDIENCE BEHAVED.
The audience smoked and seemed to be
more partial TO pipes and strong tobacco
than to cigars. 1t also drank numerous
pots of porter, glasses of bitter and
pen'orths of gin, and Joined vociterously
II not musically in the chorus of every
comic song. There were no programmes.
A chairman announced the performers as
they came on. An acrobat was going of
n { tva fnoE Tho ohai 0od
with his pewter mug on the table, and said:
II will now interduce t. you, ladies and
gents. the celebrated and only; 1 needn't
say that / refer to the great serio-comio
hartist and vocalist, Mr.. McCarty.''
The celebrated and only" seemed to be
faVorIte. judging from the applause that
greeted him. He wore a comic costume and
carried an opera hat that he opened and
shut, and put on and took off, score Of
times after the manner of his kind, while
he sang an idiotic song that told the story
OF a barmaid who received attentions, with
view to matrimony, from (Chorus):
"All join in, gents.
The butcher and the baker
And the quiet looking quaker
And the chap that used to talk
About his pa and his ma,
Phe soldier and the sailor
The teacher and the tailor
Who courted pretty Jessie
At the railway bar.
HAD A GREAT PLENTY.
Eight or ten verses of this tired US, and.
on our managerial friends suggestion, We
started for the Essex. The Essex differed
little from the first place, except that the
decorations were little more passe and
that the barmaids were a little more blase
and said ''Yes, nv dear" to strangers, in
stead OF the ''Yes, sir" that is the orthodox
thing in music halls of higher grade.
Again We got a seat Of honor close to the
stage.
The first artist that came within the range
of our vision was a danseuse who was dis
porting herself in a giddy pirouette. As
she tripped off the stage with that rapid
twidle-twinkle gait that is only successfully
duplicated by q scared ostrich making for
cover with hobbies on his legs, the chair
man raped for order and announced the
next number-"A comic song. gents, by the
celebrated and only McCarty."
i. THE SAME ON SAME.
Yes, it was the same McCarty, with the
same crush hat, the same comic dress, the
same property smile, and-sha6es Of Orpheus
the same dreadful song regarding the con.
tinued devotion of
The soldier and the sailor
The teacher and the tailor,
Who courted pretty Jessie
AT the railway bar.
caught the Villains eye and tried To
give him mal-de-mer look that would ex.
press ennui, disgust and a desire for a
change of song. I probably tried to crowd
too many expressions into one glance for he
certainly misunderstood it He possibly
thought it expressed approval and interest,
for on the second verse he frightened up his
vocal chords, pulled out some extra stops,
and so filled the room with his cacophouous
voice that it made great Jagged riffs in the
clouds of tobacco smoke. We fed the
scene.
TRIED IT ONCE MORE.
We drove to a restaurant where we braced
up on oysters and other stimulants, after
which we proceeded through many harrow
alleys and winding ways to the Clarendon
Music Hall. The appearance of this place
was much the same as that of the others. but.
thank goodness, we would not find the
celebrated and only" there for we were
miles from where we lett him telling the
story OF pretty Jessie's multitudinous ad-
nirers. The proprietor OF the Clarendon ex-
pressed regret that we were SO late. There
was only one more turn" he said, and the
performer had just gone on the stage. He
escorted us to seats hard by the bass drum.
A Chinaman was on the stage chewing
fire. He had long snakev mustache, q
robe of lowered silk reached from his
shoulders to the floor and on mis- head he
wore Mandarin's cap. He took cabbage,
flowers, live pigeons and other things out Of
q hat, made plate run round the edge Of
an open umbrella and did several other
ordinary conjurinG tricks.
AND FARED JUST THE SAME
While the audience was wildly applaud-
ing his feat of cooking an omelet in a hat he
suddenly pulled off bis mustache, threw his
cap into a corner, threw the siIken robe from
his shoulders, and in one rootien lifted from
under his arm and placed on his head a
crush hat, and there stood before US the gift
ed, serio-comic McCarty. As we rushed
for the door we were overtakeu by the callio-
pean voice of the celebrated and oply"
making the now familiar statement regard
ing
The teacher and the baker
And the quiet-lookIng Quaker.
The proprietor stopped Us, and asked Us il
we would step into his private room and
honor him by "imbibin' of q 'ot Hirish."
We needed something to calm and sooth us
after what We had suffered, so we stepped in.
and we also ''imbibed." Soon there was
noise of slamming doors and trampinp ieet
The show was over, and the audience was
going out. Presently some one at the door
said to a waiter:
THE STRAW THAT KILLED THE CAMEL.
"Charley, did you see three bloomin' Yam
KEGS pass? I'm bloody sure they're Ameri-
can theatsr managers, and they're hevident-
ly stuck on me, for they've been a followin'
of me around hall niqht %