The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1890-04-29
CROSS-CUTS.

Don't fret about what your reputation
will be after death. Tombstones are mighty
charitable. Burlington Free Press.
Charles Rivers-And SO you will be eight
next week, Flossie. Why you are getting to
be quite an old lady. Flossie-Yes, am
getting old much faster than sister May is.
She has been twenty-thrse ever since I can
overwhelmingly Weekly.
Widow-Now, my dear sir, promise me
your vote on this bill?
Congressman-But, my dear madam, T.
Widow-Now look me in the eye and
promise.
Congressman-Madam, the eyes have it.
Sunday-school Teacher-Charlie, have
you verse for me to-day? Charlie Give
years old)-Blessed are the dressmakers.
Teacher (mildly)-You haven't it quite
right; try again. Charlie-Blessed are the
tape-measures. Ut was plain to be seen
what had been going on in Charles home
that week.)-Harper's Young People.
Bilkins-My language to you has always
been poetic and fowery. When first met
you called you a daisy. After we we're
married I called you my pink. Mrs. Bill
kins-And now when you come home at 8
o'clock in the morning and have to come
down to let you in you think I'm night
blooming cereus.-America.
"What do you want?" asked the lady of
the house sharply, as she opened the door
in response to a ring. 'l'm taxidermist,
madam, and called to- "Well, we pay
our taxes when they're due, and no sooner,
so you can skip and the door was banged
like the forehead of girl fresh from school.
Texas Siftings.
A man who is silly about nothing else
will be silly when his age is mentioned.
The brightest person we ever knew was de-
tected in changing the Bible record.-Atchi-
son Globe.
just 100 years have elapsed since the in
auguration in Europe of the high silk hat
-yclept "the stove-pipe''-an the centen-
NAL anniversary thereof has been celebrat-
ed during the last week by the hatters of the
Old World.
Visitor (approaching man coming out of
the house)-Sir, are you member Cf the
house?
MAXWELL, I'm democratic member,
but Mr.. Reed has been kind enough, how
ever, to allow me to sit in there and listen,
The Epoch.
The little rascal got spanked for hanging
his cap up on the floor. "There," said the
mother. 'Now, do you know where to put
your CAPT"
81 know where wish I had put it," an
swered the hopeful.-Plunder.
Police Justice-What is the charge against
the prisoner?
Policeman-Vagrancy. He has no visible
means of support.
Prisoner-The dickens amt! I've GOT
one suspender fastened with two single
nails! What more support could you want?
"Give me the man who sings at his work."
says writer. He can have him. Also the
man who whistles at his work. And amuse-
ment-g oers will approve also of giving him
many of the men and women who sing on
the stage, provided he can induce them to
follow some other calling.-Norristown
Herald.
The knot was tied; the pair we're wed.
And then the smiling bridegroom said
Unto the preacher: ''Shall pay
To you the usual fee to-day,
Or would you have mo wait year
And give you then hundred clear
If should find the marriage state
As happy as estimator"
The preacher lost no time in thought,
To his reply no study brought,
There was no wrinkle on his brow;
Said he. III take So now"