davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington critic., 1890-05-14
nvAnrs, nArEsr JOKE.
How He Lost the Influence OF n
Powerful Journalist.
ey..


From the Nep York star.
Senator Evarts has almost as large a
residence In Washington as he has in
New York. He has three houses
which he keeps open all the time-one
at New York, one at Washington and
one at Windsor, Vt. In each he has
library-almost q duplicate of the other
two-filled with the best works of law,
history, political economy, poetry and
prose fiction, The Senator likes his
comfort, and his ambition and satisfac-
ton is to live like an English gentle
man, on luxurious and liberal scale,
without any regard to the petty econo-
mics of life. II cannot cost him less
than 100000 year to live.
But all this has nothing TO do with
the subject to which / was coming
Senator Evarts' love of q joke. The
told himself upon his last visit
to this city, while lie was sitting
in his club with some friends, his
old, unironed "a hat tilted back on
his head. He wouldn't have that hat
ironed for anything. He prides him
self on its size and shabbiness. Soon
dlltl tuC UCH vi bnt DICotut oCSSiOil
of Congress, Senator Evarts introduced
at one time three important bills of a
complicated character The correspond
ents couldn't gather their full objects
| from their titles, so they rushed into
the Senate Chamber as soon as the ses-
sion was over to see the Senator. He
sat at his desk absorbed in CORE
spondence. The "boys" held back, all
but the freshest, the correspondent of
the New York -. He advanced and
accosted the Senator.
"Well, what do you want?"
81 am the Washington correspondent
of the New York -. VIII you,
please, give me abstracts of the three
bills which you introduced to-day2"
Il am too busy [wearilyl. Read
them and find out for yourself"
"But, Senator, if should read them
wouldn't know any more about them
than do now" .cs
II am not to blame for that haven't
time to explain them to YOU"
The Senator resumed his correspond.
ence. The correspondent got mad.
"Sehator Evarts % This was uttered
so peremptorily that Mr.. Evarts looked
up in surprise. "Senator Evarts, ]
want you to know that l am the Wash.
ington correspondent of the New York
-. You will want favors of me be.
fore long. Don't you come to me fol
them, for you won't get them. ! war;
you nowW
With that terrible denunciation the
irate correspondent strobe off. As soor
as Senator Evarts could get over his sur
prise, the comicality of the thing over
came him, and he enjoyed hearty
.laugh. Atmany dinners since then hi
has convulsed the company by describ
ing the scene.
The Washington critic., 1890-05-14
THE NEXT CENSUS.

On The I'd day of June next $4,000
men will swoop down on the inhabitants
of these United States. They will be
the great army Of census enumerators,
to be scattered over the 175 districts into
which the country has been divided.
Each district will be under the con-
troll OF supervisor who, on an average,
will have charge of 2S5 enumerators,
and these supervisors will be under the
direction of uperintendent Porter. TIL,
census itself will be the most elaborate
ever taken, and will cost something in
the neighborhood of $7.000,000.
No information concerning age, sex,
colcr, health, wealth, occupation, in
comes, outlays, productions. things
social, political, agricultural, educa.
tional, commercial, moral, OF financial,
that can be obtained will be overlooked
by these enumerators, who are to ask
each person twenty-five prepared ques-
tions, which must be answered under a
penalty of $500 for refusal
The only clause of the Constitution
which can cover legislation authorizing
the taking of census is supposed to be
the provision which requires that Rep
Tesentauges and direct taxes shall be
appordOned among the several States
according to their respective mum,
beTs," and, that, after the first enumera-
tion, there shall be successive enumera
lions for such purposes at intervals of
len years. But II will be seen at once
that the purpose of these enumerations
Of population cannot be reasonably
made to take in the scope of the vast
statistical Investigations which the
present census law requires.
Thus some Of the questions to be
asked are considered to be in the high.
est degree inquisitorial, and others ex.
tremely absurd. The apportionment
OF Representatives in Congress among
the several States cannot have much
connection with inquiries in regard tC
the chronic diseases of individuals o.
10 physical or mental defects in fami
lies neither would such apportionmen
be helped in any degree, by answers tC
interrogatories concerning the mort
gage debts on houses and farms even il
these answers could be truthfully OBJ
tanned.
1t may be very desirable that statistics
of all kinds should be reliably collated
but II would seem to be within the
range Of State rather than National
power to ascertain such data. Under
the Constitution, the paramount con
sideration In taking census is TO get a
careful and trustworthy count OF in
habitants in order that Representatives
and Presidential electors may be fairly
The Washington critic., 1890-05-14
OUTLETS AND LEvErs.

A correspondent whose brief com.
munication we publish in another
column, appears to have reached the
conclusion that the views of Captain
John Cowdon are sustained by those Of
that illustrious scientist, the late M. f.
Maury. 1t is barely possible that
in some vague and indistinct way, Cap
tain Cowdon may have heard of NJ.
+. MauIy and that he may have some
prOtoplasmic IDEA of what Maury
thought about scientific matters. If
lieutenant Maury ever said that out
lets would help TO arrest the de-
posit of sediment in silt bearing streams,
which we greatly doubt, that circum-
stance would prove, simply, that he had
not looked into the subject with the in
telligenCe which distinguishes him
generally
Nothing is more clearly established
and more universally recognized by
well-informed men than the proposi-
ton that outlets do not arrest these
deposits. The bed of the river is In
variably raised by the occurrence
of break in the dyke and the
consequent check to the velocity of the
current. Every engineer, military Or
civil, who has had occasion to investigate
the question, will certify to this. The
Mississippi River below the mouth of
Red River is very deep. because the
stream there is practically of uniform
width, and has been for years confined
10 its proper channel by a system of
effective levees. The river above that
loint has always suffered, more or less,
from sand bars and shoals, because that
lait Of II is not of uniform width, and
ltcause it is there that the outlets
have most frequently occurred
There has been an unusual amount
of newspaper eloquence, home made
and imported shed on the Mississippi
River question this season. The flood
has been used as an argument against
levees, and an unanswerable testimony
10 the virtue and efficacy of the outlet
system, Notwithstanding the fact that
with q greater flood than that OF 1882, the
leyees have stood much better than
they did that year, and in light
hearted contempt of the still more
significant fact that the river has
made for itself more than ten times the
"outlet" contemplated in Cowdons 8
Lake Borgne scheme without percepti-
bly, lowering the flood level anywhere.
What is wanted in this controversy is
an intelligent and impartial investigation
by men competent to understand the
facts and arrive at rational conclusions.
The lives and much of the
property of several millions of
people are involved, and that circum-
stance alone should save the question
from the limitations Of party politics
to say nothing of protecting 1t against
irresponsible and misguided expert
ment
The Washington critic., 1890-05-14
A nICn MAN,s ADVICE.


Russell Sage who is supposed to be
worth $50, ,000,0 and who Is one of the
most notable examples in America, Of
a self-madc man, is believed TO have
more ready money than any other In
dvidual in the world. There are, Of
course, larger fortunes than Alr. Sage's,
but they are invested in securities, in
property, or in business. Mr.. Sage
keeps so much IN oney on hand that he
may profltably accommodate men and
corporations that require loans from
time to time.
When asked by the New York
HeTald, Mr.. Sage said that any man of
good intelligence can accumulate a
fortune by adopting three principles
industry, economy, and patience. He
places no reliance on luck. A man
must so conduct himself as to command
the respect and confidence Of all with
whom he comes In contact. To dis
regard the opinion of others Is simply
TO invite failure.
Then he says that without economy
no man can succeed in even circum-
stances where there are large gains. 1t
is the careful, prudent way that makes
a man master of the business situation.
This is true not only in business, but
also in politics, in religion and in every
interest Of life.
What man saves is of far more i'm
portance than what he makes. What
man should save must he governed
by circumstances. There can be no
fast and bound rule in this case. Men s
surroundings so vary that the rule
which would fit one case would not
suit another. Still it is safe to advise o
Young man to save all he can, and to
assure him that the saving of his first
hundred dollars will teach him to save
the second, and to proceed on that course
until he has laid the foundation for a
large fortune.
Very properly in this connection great
stress is laid on the fact that mans
health has much to do with his success
in life, and that therefore it is his duty
TO look well after his bodily condition.
III health will deprive him of energy
and therefore of success.
But economy and good health are
not the only requisites A man must
also be intelligent. He must read books
and newspapers and keep generally
posted on the topics of the-day and the
course ofghuman events. The learning
which young man acquires in hi!
own room is far more lasting and ro
bust than that which is obtained by {
hot bed action in an institution ol
culture.
One Of the wealthiest men in Americf
recently said that he considered intem
ptraDce the greatest cause of poverty
Mr.. Sage regards the lack of intelli
| gence, coupled with lack of industry
and economy, as a much greater cause
! Close application is necessary in every
business, and with this, If the ordinar,
personal business qualities can b,
found, there is no reason why success
should not be obtained
The Washington critic., 1890-05-14
LAFAYETTE SQUARE.

The proposition to move the Jackson
equestrian statue from Lafayette square
is one that should be carried into effect
The spectacle of Jackson statue
dominating the perspective of a
Lafayette park is, to say the
least, incongruous. If the locality is
dedicated to Lafayette the landscape
ought TO be also. The jackson
statue can be utilized to much
better advantage, and certainly
in much more harmonious way, by
placing 1t elsewhere.
1t is an extraordinary object of
art to be sure. Mr.. Thackery once
examined it carefully for several
minutes and then thoughtfully
remarked that the builder had forgot
ten to put on the rockers, But the statue
is hallowed by many associations, and
by more than generation of honest
reverence, and il is entitled to respect
full preservation.
Why not prepare mound some
where, say in the centre of
the White Lot, and place it
there? The spectacle of rampant
charger would not be so startling on
that broad stretch of turf as In the midst
of outrageous park where children play
and blushing nurse maids listen to their
young mems eager warble. Perhaps
The location would please the spar
rows better, too. But, above all
other considerations, the change
would leave room for the erec.
tion of Statue more in harmony
with the name and the environment of
the spot, and, perhaps, in somewhat
closer keeping with the taste and cul-
ture of the day.
The Washington critic., 1890-05-14
AMusEMENrs.
rho Opera Season at Aibaurh.s.

The Opera Season at Albaueh's.
The sale of.seats will open tomorrow
morning for the last week Of the
Carleton Opera Company. On Mon
day, Tuesday and Wednesday evenings
and Saturday matinee the company will
give n magnificent production Of the
"Queen's Lace Handkerchief, which
will he cast as follows CerCdnteS, w.
T. Carleton; king, Alice Carle; Sdnclto,
Charles Bigelow; Premier, J, X, Muir
ray; Mintster Of War, r. De
Mesa; Queen, Alice Vincent; Irene,
Glare Lane, Ndrchiono8s, Clara
Wisdom. On Thursday Dorothy
will be given, for one night only, with
Miss Lane in the title role. On Friday
night "Nanon" will be given, with Miss
Lane as Ndn0R. This will be Miss
Lanes first appearance this season in
those roles. On Saturday evening, for
the farewell performance, "The
Mhkado" will be given.
New National Theatre.
''Squatter Sovereignty" will be pre-.
sented to night for the last time. On to.
morrow evening Mr.. Harrigan will pre-
sent to the patrons of the New National
his latest production "Old Lavender" "
"Old Lavender" has a more serious
vein of dramatic effort, with its forgery
and elopement episodes, than is usually
found in Mr.. Harrigan's plays; but the
thing that chiefly concerns his admirers,
of whom he has constantly increasing
host, is that he has ample opportunities
in it of showing those scenes of every
i l.
| sketches.
There is, perhaps, no other actor TO
! day who can, with the same refreshing
naturalness, place on the stage scenes
that picture life in its humble aspects,
and invest them with the same brisk,
| genial humor that Mr.. Harrigan does.
There is in "Old Lavender the full
complement of songs Of popular Dave
Braham sung by Mr.. Harrigan and
other members of his company
| Ada Gray at Harris.
The talented and powerful emotional
actress Ada Gray will be at Harris
Bijou Theatre next week, presenting
some of the emotional dramas in which
she has made herself famous. She is
an actress of established reputation and
has been pronounced without peer in
some of the characterizations which
she presents.
Miss Gray has moved many an audi
ence to tears by her feeling impersona-
tions, and has been admired by that
pre- eminent of all critics, the public
Seats for the engagement are now OF
sale.
Big Bill at Kernan's.
The consolidation of Lester and
Aliens Big Show and the famous
Kilralfy Partisan Ballet Troupe has
made one of the biggest and most ex
pensive entertainments ever attempted
but Manager Herman announces it
first appearance in Washington mex
week, beginning Monday night
and feels confident that the business
will Justify this extraordinary engage
ment The company includes a hos
of acknowledged vaudeville stars an(
all the pretty and graceful dancers whit
have made the Kiralfy ballet famous
Tomorrow night in addition to tn,
regular performance of the LondoI
Gaiety Company, there will be asparrin!
contest between the two colored cham
pions, Charles Smith and Charlie
Brown, for scientific superiority.
The Washington critic., 1890-05-14
In the NIinority Then.
From he Me,o York Times.

PfOiN NE NtU O|h I tNtes.
Two years ago Mr.. Reed of Maine
made some remarks in the House in the
early days of a tariff debate concerning
the number of days that should be set
aside for the consideration of the pend
ing bill. The members on the Repub.
lican side, he said, wanted "a full dis
cussion." II suggest" he continued,
that ten days be allowed on a side,
and as many evening sessions as people
may be disposed to have be allowed in
addition thereto A discussion of
"such length" he thought, "well be-
fitted the Importance of the bill" Mr..
Reed was in the minority then, He has
since revised his opinions concerning
the number of days required for the
consideration of general tariff bill, as
well as his beliefs concerning the rights
Of minorities and the fair exercise of
power by a Speaker
The Washington critic., 1890-05-14
In the Spring

Nearly everybody needs good medicine. The
impurities which have accumulated In the
blood during the cold months must be ex-
PEELED or when the mild days come and the
effect of braoing air Is lost the body is liable
TO be overcome by debility or some serious
disease. The remarkable success Of Hoods
sarsaparilla and the universal praise It has
received make IL worthy your confidence. It
is the "ideal Spring Medicine" Try 1t this
season.
That Tired Feeling
rThere is a large and growing demand here
for Hoods sarsaparilla, the sales already ex-
ceeding those of all other similar medicines
combined l know of many customers who
have been greatly benefited by it and who
speak of Hoods Sarsaparilla in the highest
terms. l take two bottles myself every
spring and fall and it does me more good
than any other medicine."-A. G. RHODES,
Mines, Va.
N. N.B.--1f you decide to take Hoods Sarsa-
parilla do not be induced TO buy any other.
The Washington critic., 1890-05-14
A bad Bargain.

From NE kailsas City TINES.
Mr.. Wanamaker is said to have told
near friend that he was beginning to
believe that he had paid pretty steep
price when he gave 100000 for his
present job And Mr. Wanamaker
ought 10 know, too, for he has had a
great deal Of experiencein bargains,
The Washington critic., 1890-05-14
Cowdon ana NIaury.

7 EditOr Critic. Captain Cowdon's
article in your paper of the 18th inst.
seems to coincide with the views of the
late distinguished NJ. F. Maury, one of
the soundest and most sensible scien-
itifc men our country has ever had. In
page 9S of his Physical Geography,
written in simple style for children
to comprehend, he shows clearly how
the bed of the Mississippi, being raised
constantly by the sediment and soil re-.
sulting from increased cultivation, re-.
quires not only lecees but the outlet
system also. Why are not his teachings
on this subject referred to and investi-
gated? Surely there is no better
authority. I?
Washington, May 13.
The Washington critic., 1890-05-14
Tho IoMR Case

From he 50. Louis Globe Dispatch.
While state has not the power to
prevent within Its limits the sale of
liquors made outside, if the liquors be
sold in the parcels in which they were
originally put up, it has the power to
stop the manufacture of all such liquors
within its boarders. There may not be
much of victory in this privilege for
the prohibitionists to shout over, but it
is about all the triumph which the
Supreme Court decision allows chem.
The Washington critic., 1890-05-14
COUNT ToLsrors EXAMPLE.

Undeniably one of the most conspicu.
Gus figures of the present generation is
the Russian Count Tolstoi, who for
thirty-five years lived life of luxury
and idleness, proud of his blood, culture
and wealth. Then he achieved bril-
liant success in literature, All at once
he dropped out of gay society. When
his friends sought him they found him
like peasant at the plow. He had
read the New Testament and had de-
cided TO square his life by that He
has large estate which he has divided
among the poor on communistic scale.
He claims to be follower of Jesus and
claims that life of unselfsh bodily toll
is the true life. Poverty, humility, the
Tenunciation of property, have become
TO him right, and he now works side by
side with his former serf. He is not a
crank, but man of large brain and
heart. and there is something in his
life calculated to stir the indifferent
spirit Of the men and women of our
day when he simply says, 81 am fol-
lower of Jesus.
The Washington critic., 1890-05-14
DOMESTIC DRESS GOODS,

We are offering the fol-
lowing exceptionally fine
values at exceedingly low
prices:
Danish Cloths, in a va
riety OF attractive shades,
halt wool, only I2Hc per
yard.
Challies, in a hundred or
so OF attractive designs,
only ISc per yard.
Half-wool Striped Cash
mere, in all the leading
shades, only 25c per yard.
3S-inch Wool Suiting, in
grays and browns, only 25c
per yard.
24-lnch Fancy Stripe Mo-
hair, in most attractive pat
terms, striped in delicate
tints and most exquisite pat
ters woven in over the
stripes; a very dressy fab
ric; only SAC per yard.
Melaner's Dress Goods,
only 35c per yard.
Large and elegant assort-
ment of All.wool Suitings,
only 371c per yard.
34-inch Mohair, in all the
leading shades, only 4oc per
yard.
Second floor.
The Washington critic., 1890-05-14
John onamberlin Occupies Two Beds.

John Chamberlin, the Washington
caterer, has just come back from a trip
to Chicago. He had great experience
out there in trying to accommodate
himself to his friends. The proprietor
of the Hotel Richelieu is an old friend
and insisted that Chamberlin should
have the best room in that elegant hos.
telry, while Jim" Breslin of the Gllsey
House, who is out there running the
Auditorium Hotel, had an apartment
prepared for Chamberlin which king
might envy. The jolly Washingtonian
did not feel like affronting either friend,
so he kept the key of both rooms and
occupied them alternate nights.
The Washington critic., 1890-05-14
Gives Hetter Resnlts

From ne 81, L0Vls P0st Difpdifh,
The Republican plan to shut off de-
bate on the Tariff bill proves that the
Republicans do not want campaign
of education ON the tariff. A cam
paign Of "fat frying" gives better re-
suits.
The Washington critic., 1890-05-14
No wonder They Failed.

PFOHt Ute betHttNeW D0HJ IatsS.
An exchange tells us about the
failure of old shirt manufactures, +"
What an inventive age this is, to be
sure Who would ever have thought
of a firm devoting themselves to the
manufacture of old shirts No wonder
that they failed.
The Washington critic., 1890-05-14

apporiioned among the States, and no
other purpose of census is specified
In the organic law.
The Washington critic., 1890-05-14
Address Registered Letters containing cur
rency TO
New Orleans National Bank,
New Orleans, La.

"REMEMBER that the payment of Prizes
BANKS of New Orleans, and the tickets are
signed by the president of an institution
whose chartered rights are recognized In the
highest courts; therefore, beware of all imita-
tions or anonymous schemes"
ONE DOLLAR Is the price of the smallest
part or fraction of a ticket ISSUED BY US In
any drawing. Anything in our name offered
for less than Dollar Is a swindle.
The Washington critic., 1890-05-14

PRINCE VICTOR is said to sign him
self as "The Napoleon of Tomorrow. :"
It would probably be better for him IL
he could write himself "The Napoleon
of Yesterday"
The Washington critic., 1890-05-14

AMONG THE inequalities of the tariff
is the duty on London-made tights,
while there is none on ballet girls.
Major Butterworth' attention is called
TO this
The Washington critic., 1890-05-14

THERE is CONSIDERABLE expectation
that Joseph Chamberlain is once more
about to change his dubious political
affiliations.
The Washington critic., 1890-05-14
CAPITAL PRIZE S6OO,OO0
100000 Tickets at Forty Dollars; Hslves.
$50; Quarters, $40; Eigbths, 81; Twenti-
eths, 81; Fortieths, 81.
AGENTS WANTED EvERYwHERE.

tY For CLuB RATES or any further infor-
nation desired write legbly to the under
signed, clearly stating your residence, with,
State, County, Street and Number. More
rapid return mail delivery will be assured by
your inclosng an envelope bearing your fun
address.
The Washington critic., 1890-05-14
Trouble at Deer valley.
IRON he Detyot Erse Press.

TTVTft VNt Ir'TVtV TITO F'0o'
There Is postofflce in Idaho called
Deer Valley, with mail twice per
week. For six weeks last winter the
only letters received came for young
man from his girl in Chicago, and the
inhabitants finally became so wroth that
they arose in their might and ran him
out of town.
The Washington critic., 1890-05-14

The DEMOCRATS of the Third Con
gressional district Of Pennsylvania
Randall's old district-seem to be
unanimous in their choice of ex-Mayor
Vaux as their candidate for Mr. Ran
dall's seat.
The Washington critic., 1890-05-14

THE CONTRIBUTIONS to the news
papers of Prince Won Bismarck have
led some one to call him rising young
journalist. This may be witty, but 1t
Is not strictly true.
The Washington critic., 1890-05-14

JAMES. WHITcoMB RILEY, whose
poems are now so popular, made his first
hit by that which he entitled "When
the Frost is on the Punllin." Before
that time his short poems commanded
only three or four dollars. Now the
same work obtains from $25 to $50.