Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1890-03-20
TILE aoYERNoR.


He was not quite sure of his election
at first, but after a while he became con-
vinced that he had been chosen by the
suffrages Of the people, and 50 he started
for Albany by diligence, with speckled
COW attached 10 the rear Of the convey
ance. When he got pretty near TO Albany
he was told that mistake had been made
in the returns, by which tho other mans
election was only too clear. He probed
the matter and found that the informa-
ton came from an authentic source; so,
after batting his team, he gave his trusty
COW a dose Of Moxie and started out for
home again, sad. yet bowling TO the will
Of the people. For some days he jour
neyed on over rough roads and through
desolate stretches of country, sometimes
finding such rough going that his frail
drosky seemed ready to overturn and
plunge down bottomless chasm.
At last the domes and minarets Of
Canandaigua doomed up in the distance,
and after his long journey the governor
drove into his own door yard and put the
team out. Polishing his red but virtu-
GUS beak ON the back Of his buckskin
mittens, he slowly took up the thread Of
private lifeagain by knocking the choicest
brains out of IA stray cat.
Anon one Of the neighbors came in and
asked the governor what was up. He al
lowed that he wasn't so much elected as
ne had VOTED. why, yes you be, {" said
the man. The governor pricked up his
ears and began to look for the papers.
He now discovered that sure enough he
was elected after all; so, eating a cold
doughnut and drinking some non-elastic
cider. he returned TO the barn. Admins
tering DOver's powder and a little bis
nuth 70 the COW he once more hitched
up his drosky. whilst the COW looked up
into his eyes with an air Of inquiry and
reproacb, as who should say, Gov
ernor, how much Of this junketing BUSH
ness have you got on hand;" He smote
her across the nose pettishly and said,
There, torment ye, can't ye never sou
he became governor, but in a quiet
way, giving 70 the state a corn starch
administration unmarked by reckless
ness or intestine strife He was the only
Temperance governor, think, that New
York ever had, and that was the only
print on the sands of time.
The COW who assisted him during his
calm reign of cat meal and chastened
monotony has long since passed to her
reward.
He still recalls with marked pride his
career as governor, and speaks of the
time when he made the trip by diligence
TO Albany and back with pair of splint
bottomed chairs dashed to the back of
the load, a COW attached to the rear also
and an Oleander from Clean, who went
along as an amanuensis.
We should learn from the career of
Governor Clark to esteem, ever through
life and even beyond the confines Of
time, where sorrow and distress and |
habits of industry can never enter, those
qualities of mind and heart which,
wherever found and whenever came
acrost, should, by one and all, be most
highly thought of.
Estella b., Long Branch, n. j., asks
for few hints on travelling etiquette, as
she is shortly to assist I'm bridal tour to
California.
IL you contemplate such tour, Estel- |
La, you will do well to weigh it well be-
fcrehand and consider your conduct
carefully before taking the fatal step.
In the first place, do not wear new
clothes while travelling. 1t is foolish, in
the first place, and besides, if you are a
bride, as you will be doubtless If you
contemplate trip like this you will not
wish 10 attract too much attention.
Wear the street gloves you have been
wearing for some time and tell Bartholo-
new to do the same. If you and he de-
eide to wear new shoes, il would be we'll
to soil the soles little before you start
out Even u sleeping car porter is not
blind to these things, and he tells the
conductor; the conductor tells the brake
man, and the brakeman is liable to tell |
the superintendent Of the road.
Do not adopt the customary style of
railway eating house devastation. II |
your young life has been cursed by star
vation. try to conceal 1t en- route and tell |
Bartholomew also to let his hunger, Like
q tapeworm, prey upon his inner works,
rather than drown the roar of the report
by his loud stertorous eating at a twenty
minute death trap
Do not become absent minded at table. |
It may attract attention. In Canada this |
winter / saw an anxious man looking out |
the door OF the dining room nervously |
rs no waited for his breakfast, and when |
he got his toast he turned the slice over
critically TO see II 1t had been properly |
ndorsed before he would take IL. He |
also, whom his cakes were brought ir,
moistened his finger in his finger bowl |
and ran over the little pile of pancakes
swice to see that the amount was cor
rect. aftcrward learned that the mans
name was Silcott, formerly Of Washing
ton, ID. G..
Tell Bartholomew that he must also |
look up the manual of good breeding.
and not follow lady upstairs or precede
a lady out of room. II Inc should hap
pen to hear that lady at any time in
the dim future contemplates leaving the
room, he must not go until she has es-
capod. He may miss his train while she
IL saying some things which she has al
ready said several times, but he must
not precede her from the room.
When you go down tho stairs, espe-
'ialiy nc the elevated stations in New
Fork, you must not cover more than one
light ut a time with your skirts; other
wise you will not only soil your skirts,
nut you will delay traffic. This is almost
> rude as IL is for preoccupied ass to u