Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1890-07-18
BURGLAR AND BUTLER.

There was once an honest burglar named
William Stubs, Familiarity called Cock
Eyed Bill" on account of a slight visual
discrepancy. He was quiet, unassuming
individual, who asked for nothing more
than to be permitted to follow his peace
full calling without molestation, Perhaps
in the golden future when the London
county council gets the control of the Met
ropolitan police his modest aspirations
may be realized; but under the existing
brutal regime he was subjected to perpet-
ual irritating and tyrannical interference.
As free born Dliton and a man of
spirit he resented this state of things very
strongly, and on principle he never lost
an opportunity of assaulting a constable.
Consequently he was generally wanted"
and was forced to lead an lshmaelitish sort
of existence which soured his temper; but
neither justice nor prison fare could mar
the manly straightforwardness of his char
acter, and if he wanted anything he took it,
though there might be dozen constabes
around the corner and loug list of pre-
vious convictions hanging over his head
When Bill had fancy to crack crib-to
use his own homely phrase-he always
worked single handed, partly from sturdy
independence of disposition and partly be-
cause he dsliked the profit sharing sys-
TEN. He shrank from haggling, even with
a pal, and sooner than do this he had fire.
quently appropriated the whole proceeds
of a joint enterprise This had led to so
much unpleasantness-for is associates
were not all large minded men like him
self-that Bill had for years declined all
offers of partnership. The method he
usually pursued was to rely entirely upon
iS nd htt ha
CHANGED to meet with useful confederate
in the shape of trustworthy butler or
confiding cook he did not disdain such as
sstance.
1t was in this manner that the baneful
shadow of Mr. jenkins crossed his path.
The shrewdest judge of character is occa-
sionally mistaken, and Bill always consid-
cred that he was bitterly deceived by the
PHYSIOLOGICAL indications of Mr.. Jenkins
open countenance. Mr.. Jenkins was the
butler of IA family in Park lane, and Bill
made his acquaintance in the back pallor
of the pig and Whistle" a snug lostelry
much frequented by the betting and sport
ing fraternity of the nei .hbOrhood. A
sporting butler who plungel as Lvlvily as
Mr. Jenkins did must needs be, thought
honest Bill, one of the right sort, and this
impression was confirmed by his new
friends entirely voluntary suggestion to
put him up to II good thing. His proposal
was that Bill should visit the residence Of
the family in Park lane in the way of bust
ness, and bring away with him a few SOU
venirs from the plate chest.
Mr.. Jenkins naively confessed that his
object was to recoup himself for losses in
Cured through having backed series of
wrong 'uns throughout the recent season,
4 I,. L., tod
replenish his exchequer This explanation
was entirely satisfactory to Bill, who pos
sessed enough of worldly wisdom to mis-
trust disinterested services, and he agreed
to Mr. Jenkins stipulations the more reaLi-
~ because the amount of the reward was
necessarily left to his own discretion, and
on this point Bill had no fear of doing seri-
Gus injustice to himself
1t was all arranged so pleasantly and
amicably that when the eventful evening
arrived Bill walked forth as jauntily as
though he had been going for a stroll with
his sweetheart Mr.. Jenkins had gone
into the country for day or two, after
thoughtfully furnishing Bill with every
useful detail. The house was deserted
save by deaf old housekeeper and a
couple of maid servants, who slept on the
top story; and convenient window in the
basement had been left unattached. Bill
reached the scene of his operations without
the smallest difficulty, and having opened
the plate chest by means of IA duplicate
key he found the contents neatly arranged
for transport in green baize bags. Mr.
jenkins had told him exactly where to lay
his hand on the most valuable articles, and
in very short time Bill had comfort ably
stored away his plumber in a sack which
he had brought for the purpose.
This done, Bill cast his eyes around and
discovered ii corner cupboard of which he
had been duly advised. 1t was locked as q
matter of form, but disdaining this trihinl
obstacle Bill proceeded to explore its con,
tents, which consisted, among other things
of ample materials for cold collation., in
Guiding half bottle of excellent brandy
Burglary, as its disciples know, is hungry
work, and Bill did justice to Mr.. jenkins
hospitality by making an exceedingly
square meal and drinking his health unit
the bottle was empty. He then carefully
shouldered his sack and with a light anC
joyful heart proceeded to evacuate tn,
premises.
He had hardly gone half a dozen step
along the passage, however when h
stopped suddenly and gave very suspi
cious sniff, for it all at once occurred L
him that the house was permeated will
the aroma of choice Havana cigar Thi
was the more extraordinary and startlin!
because upon entering he had noticed
nothing of the kind. There was "A pungen
freshness, too, about the tobacco seen
which was very suggestive, and Bill imme
diately OWNED that the smoker must b
near ut hand. He had barely had time L
arrive mt this conclusion when he notices
Il
his lanterns ray tiny speck of red flame
which glowed brightly one instant and di,
appeared the next. He Immediately turne