Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1890-07-17

- New ork Herald.
HE TOOK THE HINT.
She (yawning, as the clock is on the
point of striking 12)-Isn't there game
played with cards in which one goes out
and the other stays in!
He-Yes; it's called -
''Well, let's play it. I'll stay in. +"
He didn't stay long after that. Nor
ristown Herald.
LAZY" DEFINED.
Teacher Bobby, what does lazy mean
Bobby-Lazy means always to want
your little sister to getit for you.- Puck.
MORE THAN THAN.
Old enteman-Louise, | heard some
one being kissed once or twice in the hall
last night. Was it youl
Louise (blushing) Once or twice, did
you.say, papa?
Old Gentleman Yes
Louise-Then it wasn't /.
ALIGHT AFFAIR.
Crimsonbeak in the gloaming) What
do you suppose has just come to light9
Yeast-I really could not say.
'Why, the lamp-lighter, of course"
NOT CERTAIN OF HER OWN APPEARANCE.
"You will let me go to your wedding,
will you not, dearestr said one girl to
another.
"Upon my word, | can't promise. My
folks are in such rage about my we'd
ding that | am not sure they will even
let me go to 1t myself. ~ Illustrated It'd
bits.
HOPE DEFERRED.
Young Butt (who has just proposed
If you cannot answer me now, dear Miss
Archer, lam willing to wait.
Miss Archer-So am |. Make it four
years. ~ Puck.
CANE OVER WITH THE coNouERoR.
Mrs. Michigan Avenue (of Chicago
/ would like you TO engrave my coat-of-
arms on the seal Of this ring.
Jeweler-Yes, madam. What does it
consist of
Mrs Michigan Avenue-Ahl leave
the selection entirely to you; only put a
lot of lions in 1t and charming dragon
or two. jewelers. Circular.
BEAR MARKET.
Mendicant-Can't you give me few
pennies for my poor family at home,
sirl
Merchant-No, no, man; don't want |
to buy any poor family. n Yonkers
Statesman.
THE MATRIMONIAL LOTTERY.
Jinks-Winks married woman of in
tellect, didn't hel
Blinks-I don't know. Why2
Jinks-I notice he never has any but
tons on his clothes.
YOUTHFUL CUTENEss.
Jimmy-Ma, can have that candy on
your dressing case!
Mothcr-Yes.
(Jimmy makes no motion toward tax
ing it,
Mother-Why don't you take it, if you
want it9 Why, l declare it's gone
Jimmy-Yep. ate it before asked
you for it Lawrence American.
A CONSIDERABLE HUSBAND.
81 wish you were like Mr. Bunting,
Mrs. Larkin; 'he's so con-
siderate of his wife"
'sThat's so, replied Mr.. Larkin. "You
,ught to see the nice lightweight axe
ne bought to-day for her to split kind
ing wood with
SAID SHE WAS HANDSOME.
sDid you see what the paper said about
7ou?"
s.No; and | don't want to hear any of
heir abominable lies about me. You may
make up your mind that whatever was
aid was false.
II thought as much 1t said you were
handsome and clever"
SATISFACTORILY EXPLAINED.
"Henrv.r she whispered, as though
earful of the worst, ''do you love me less
han fortnight ago when you brought
ne some flowers or candy every night
s.No. Evelina. no, y he answered, tbut
,ay day is yet week off, and generally
ret broke about the middle of the
month.
EXPLAINED AT LAST.
She-I wonder what satisfaction Rover
an find in barking at the moong
He-I have heard that the moon is made
f cheese. Perhaps there are rats in it I
Terre Haute Express. ;
NATURAL HISTORY IN RHYME.
A hornets sting is a red hot thing,
And gets there without fail; I
1t points moral in language oral, {
And besides, adorns tale. IN
Ashland Press. {