The intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1887-1891, 1890-03-01
PASTORAL MEMORIES.
Embarrassing and Amusing Mo.
ments at the Font.
Awkward Chris tenings-A Dictatorial Old
Parson VIII Meant Well hut Over
Shot the Mark-A Young
Fathers DRshfulness.

EAttAtt =
A number of clcrgy mon, SAYS the New
York Tribune, were chatting the othel
day W a dinner, given by a church
club. when the conversa,i ion turned OF
the old style of dictatorial preacher:
who used to bully their tlocks and at
tempt to lay down the law for their tenn
poral as we'll as spiritual guidance.
81 remember a ludicrous instance o.
the kind" said one, "when two Of his
humble parishioners came before the
little Pope of 4 backwoods circuit and
brought their baby to be baptized.
VIVA name do you give this childP
he said.
"Now, the woman lisped and the
preacher was rather deaf. 80 that when
She replied 'Luthy, thir, meaning Lucy,
SIR he started back in surprise.
"'What?' he CIRCULATED.
"'Luthy, thir.' repeated the embar-
raised mother.
"'Lucifer!' Numbered the outraged
pastor. Nonsense, woman. Would you
name your child after the devil? l
would as soon call him Judas Iscariot,
and dipping his hand in the font he
stifed the infant'ssqueals with a liberal
dose OF the water full in its mouth,
adding, with JUNCTION:
"'John Wesley, | baptize thee
And the trembling parents, &C
customed to letting the old man have
his way in all things, went quietly out
with their little girl bearing that IA
nous, IL not exactly feminine, name."
That's a pretty good story" said an
other OF the party, land reminds me OF
a somewhat similar though not SO funny
case. where the parents wanted TO call
the child Julius Caesar. butthe minister,
re%marking severely: None OF your
heather Names dubbed it Simon Peter.
But that class Of parishioners who are
willing to submit their OWL will to the
pastors within Is not common nowadays,
In cities, any way, and any preacher
who attempted such n thing would be
likely to get a piece Of her mind from
the good wife. | remember unwittingly
offending such a one when 1 was young
In the ministry.
~ had performed the ceremony and
was making out the certificate and regis
tering the christening in my book.
Forgetting the day of the month, I said
to the father:
"'Let me see. this Is the 12th. Is 1t
not?'
1.-the twel fthr' broke in the indig-
nant young mother. It's only the SEQ
ond, and you baptized the first yourself.
II you visited US oftener you would not
Toala oltnl ahannI rniofolraa Tha
twelfth, indeed
sit took mt some time to assure her
that | had intended no reflection on her
age"
81 used to feel awtully nervous over
baptisms before l got married and had
children Of my own" added another of
the clergymen, when | had TO take the
baby from Its mothers arms before the
whole congregation. / never failed to
grab 1t the wrong way, 1t seemed to me
at first, and | invariably set the most
placid youngster bawiing, greatly to my
own embarrassment and to tho delight
of the young people in the congregation.
One day a good old mother in Israel on
whom l was calling excused herself
from the room for an instant and came
back bearing q clever and pretty babe,
her grandchild.
"tI have made up my mind, Mr..
NJ she said, from watching you
handle the babies that are brought to
you for baptism that you need o few
lessons In the art. Now l propose to
give you them. here in private, with the
baby as an object-lesson, and nobody
will be any the wiser, but your own
comfort, as we'll as that OF the congrega.
ton, not to speak of the babies, will be
greatly increased.
~ was q little staggered at first by
the move proposition, but soon fell into
the humor OF 1t, and after a few ~instruc.
tons from tho old lady's stock oil
mother-lore, l handled that child like
father of twins, and soon became SO ex.
pert that l have quoted many o SO ua!l.
ing child at the font and restored 1t To
its mothers arms cooling and soothed.
In fact, l found out long after l was
married that my wife first took o lik.
ing to me, as they say, from seeing the
mastery way in which | quieted a par.
ticularly bad baby, which had set the
whole congregation ~a-6dgeting.
81 once met u case" the speaker
added, "whero q young couple whom ]
had married at the same altar came to
me to baptize their first child. The
father was unusually young and
sbsshed, and looked even younger than
he was. The wife was self-possessed
enough, and had evidently coached him
for the ceremony. His embarrassment
was so great, however, that when I said
to him, In the due course of the service,
Name this child he looked helplessly
ut bis better half.
~ thought he had forgotten the name,
and 30 did the congregation, some oil
whom began to smile.
1.-THE wife nudgod him, however, and
he woke up, answering in a clear voice
Z" i will
THE ceremony OF his last visit to thai
altar was still fresh In his mind, as Il
was indeed in the minds of many pres,
ont, and his pat reply tickled them sc
that 1t was with difficulty decent order
was preserved"
AFRAID OF PUBLICITY.
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