Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1890-04-19

~ SSbob" at all but Lord Plum bob;" but
he extricated himself from the embarrassment
by saying frankly to the you thful nobleman:
What ought to call you, anyway Should
say Your grace Your serene highness' or
what, pray?"
Dear boy" replied the Earl Of Plumbob,
condescendingly, "you may call me pretty
much anything you like. have been called
all sorts of things. For instance, at Eton was
usually addressed as 'Plummy.' 1t doesn't do
you know, at an English school to be too patri-
clan. have known young gentleman of birth
to announce to the other boys of his class that he
was the Earl of So-and-so, Viscount of WHAT'S
his-name and Baron Thingumbob, and the
only respect that his fellow schoomates ex-
hibited for his quality was a kick for the earl,
two kicks for the yiscount and three kicks for
the baron"
"Well, Plummv," queried Noodles II under
stand that the house of commons proposes to
abolish you. How is that"
BRITISH POLITICS.
my dear sir" interrupted Lord Plumbob's
tutor, approaching with an air of sanctimonious
atfabiIity, Il am my lords chaplain, and it is
permitted me to remark that it would be as
easy for the house of lords to abolish the house
of commons for the house of commons to
abolish the house of lords. In England, sir. We
have an hereditary nobility that must always
exercise control over the profanum vulgus, lest
the commonwealth fall to pieces"
Hes an awful ass" said Lord Plumbob
aside. pointing unObserved with his thumb at
his pIous mentor. Next year when I'm of
age, mean to shake him and come over here
on me own hook. just to have a bowling good
time. Eli, chappie!'
why not, Indeed?"' calculated Noodles
Titles have high commercial value in this
country. You have only to throw the hand
kerchlef, a la Grand Turquc, and scoop in an
helress. | suppose that is what you after?''
Certainly not, interjected Lord Plumbob's
tutor, VINO had overheard the last few words.
"My lord is vastly rich and has no occasion to
make matrimonial purchase OF petticoats en-
broldered with gold and diamonds. rendered
from pork and patent medicines. The heredi-
tary nobility OF England, my dear sir is not
as a class, III need Of funds. As for the COM
MONS of which we were speaking, it will be as
well to remark that they merely exist as Il
legislative body, sufferance. Do you not
know how the commons originally came into
being? Why, to begin with, the King of Eng
land
CALLED HIS MOBILES AROUND HIM
and formed house of lords for advisory pur-
poses But these noblemen had not entire
knowledge of the needs of the country, and so
they called into council many commoners
most of them farmers, who naturally formed
an assembly OF their own. And this state of
affairs continued Tor more than 100 years be-
fore the house of commons was recognized as
such. The lower house from year to year has
steadily become more and more aggressive
until now fancy that we shall have to do away
with 1t. pity. of course. but L N afraid there 5
no help for it,"
'Yaas. remarked Lord Plumbob. languidly.
ut We're best that the thing should be sup
pressed. When l take my seat i'll the upper
house SHAH urge it, II don't forget"
Ills lordship. said the tutor. expects to
be an ornament to the august body which his
birthright entities him to a membership OF
Sitting IN that body as Lord Plumbob he
will"
Pardon me- dear boy" interrupted Lord
Plumbob, addressing his tutor; but 1 dom
expect to take my seat in the lords as the Earl
OF Piumbob. In this little matter 1 may. per-
haps, venture to instruct you. 1t is as Baron
Skeesicks that l shall sit in the upper house
The members Of that assembly occupy places
there
AS BARoNs OF ENGLAND,
and not otherwise. Were 1 duke it is not in
the quality of being such that would be en-
titled to seat i'll the house of lords, but
through the fact of being a baron. Therefore
1t Is that l shall occupy my place among the
lords Baron Skeesicks, and not as the Earl
OF Plumbob.'
Il know all that very WE'LL" responded the
| pedagogue, testify. Permit me to suggest that
the view of the Washington Monument from
this point Is singularly fine"
"Cuss the monument" said the earl at
| fatigues ME extremely. can't go anywhere in
this doosid capital of yours without seeing it.
very ill-bred and intrusive piece OF architec-
| ture, by Jove! Dear boy. there's some awfully
/ good brandy and soda in the cabin. Let's go
and sample it."
So Noodles and the nobeman had some
brandy and soda. Next they had some brandy
and soda, and, finally, they had some brandy
| and soda.
Theater Manager. Some fool in the gallery
yelled fire. at the top of his lungs during the
| performance tonight"
Friend.-"You don't sayI Was there a
panic2"
| Theater Manager.-''No Luckily there were
| fifteen theater parties in the house and the cry
| was not heard. "-Bostonidn.
| This is an age of contrasts. The carpenter
| in his demand for an eight-hour day is backed
| editorially by the newspaper man who works
tifteen.-Concord (N.H) Monitor.
The other day in school one of the youths
| was asked by the teacher: For what is the
island Of Ceylon noted?" And the boy answered
with promptness and good faith: "For its
postage stamps being awful hard to get."-
| Boston Transcript