The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-09-25
PuNoENr PARAGRAPHS.

mountain OF alabaster is supposed
to have been discovered $50 miles north
Of Denver, Col.
First Clerk business pretty good
ut your place?'' Second Clerk-.sO,
yes! 1t has been 80 rushing that they
have not had time to pay the hands
for three weeks. -
Proud Mother-.'At last, my dear,
your education is finished, and you have
diplomas from the highest seat of learn
ing In the world" Cultured Daughter
(wearily) -"Yes, and now I'm too old
to marry. IN. Y. Weekly.
1t is customary in Russia for trav.
elers to carry their own bed-linen, pill
lows, towels, etc. Thatis better than
carrying off the towels, etc., belonging
to the hotel, as is frequently done in
this countrv:-Texas Siftings: -.
"A negro drayrnan while, driving a
dray heavily loaded with merchandise
at Macon, lost his balance and fell of,
and the dray passed directly over his
neck. Strange to say. it was not broken,
but the negroes injuries were serious
THAT new girl of yours is rather q
shrinking, modest creature, Scadley,
isn't she?" 'Well, I should say she
was. I didn't visit her more'n week
before she suggested thatI turn down
the light in order that she might hide
her bushes. Philadelphia Times.
observation-disclosures are not numerous
in Japan, believe" Bunting-"1
don't know; but how did you form that
opinion?" Larkins-"From the fact
that women are not permitted to appear
on the stage in that country. IN. Y.
World.
-Mamma-"Um-ah-my dear. This
young man who is calling on you so con-
stantly-do you think he has any inten-
,ions?" Laura-"He doesn't know
whether he has or not. I am the only one
whose intentions are going to cut any
figure in this deal. "-Terre Haute Elk.
press.
-Pat-'This is a great scheme D.
Bridget-"Phwati s?" Pat-"I see that
a man can get post-office money order
for 800 for IS cents. have dollar
left, and I'll git some av thin ordhers
this very day and sthart in business
again. This is great country. New
Hampshire Republican.
ibliomaniac-'What I want now is
suitable motto-please don't touch
that book; paid forty dollars for the
binding alone-a suitable motto for this
room. What would you suggest?':
Cynicus-''Why not adapt ColeridRe-
Books. books everywhere, but not a
thing to read?' "--Harper's Bazaar.
-Villager-"Ah! Congressman Blank,
very glad I met you. want you to in.
troduce bill compelling all brass
bands to join the militia, and in case OF
war march to the front. Congressman
''Um! Suppose such a bill should be-.
come law then wbat?" Villager-
''Then what? Why, we'd get up war;
Good News.
"A Clue
Within hammock snug toy sat
But how the two behaved,
One could not tell. it was so dark,
Had it not been for the remark
20, George, you must get shaved"
-Philadelphia Press.
"A woman may fret and chafe be
cause the pudding is overdone, or get
her nerves all into snarl if her hus.
band happens to bring home company &c
dinner unexpectedly, but when it comes
to wrapping up sore finger she stands
at the top of the heap, with mien free
of vinegar and touch lighter than day.
RAMS Horn.
-Susie-''Going to the country thi.
summer, Bessie?" Bessie-':Yes; but
we hardly know whore to 60" Susie
'Why don't you go where you went last
year" Bessie-''To Farmer Haycut's:
That's whore we were intending to 90,
only we heard that Farmer Haycut
made so much money out of keeping
summer boarders that he came to the
city to live in style. Yankee Blade.