Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1890-09-11
WIT AND HUMOR.

VII AMI HUMOR.
Ayoung man who wore a east
He fell enI in upon broadway to mash;
| DIE of sticky, black mud
ana that settled the flash sasb,s.
II N 7. Herald
| II you oher your hand to some fst,
as 20 wedding, perhaps she'll scot; mSid
buI II you offer it to a buzz saw 0l'
The affairs likely to come OF
~, Philadelphia Time,
| Inc hen is not cheerful fowl O.
oroods great deal.-Boston Bul.tiis
People who say sharp things of,os
get the reputation of being blunt
baltimore american.
Druggists, however prosperous .,
| ways do business on a small scaIo
Laurence american.
"Jimpson's brother Tom is ooir,
crazy" well, he won't be very tira5
when he gets there. IN. Y. Herald
If all the good there is in tbonch.
were put in deed earth would soon Nv
a paradise--F'orence (Kan.) Herald
If an ordinary man was musc,ad
ike flea he could throw a book ocan,
two miles.-lndianapoliS RAMS Horn
A race for favor in society is ALWAYS
exciting. More than one has besn
won by neck.-NeW Orleans Picayune,
The man that can't sing and won't
| sing deserves the sincere thanks of
musical community. -SomerUilLs ,J0ur.
nal.
Who gave Cresus' bride away her
fatherP There wasn't any giving
about it. Cresus paid cash down.
Epoch.
She-''How do you manage to think
among all the noise in the Stock Ex.
changer He-"We don't Think
| Chatter.
Truth lies at the bottom of an ink
well. This explains why the post.
script contains all the facts.-Anleri.
can Grocer.
Somehow or other the man who is
called on for speech just before your
turn always knows the best story
Etnaira Gazette.
If there is anything under the sky
at sight OF which the gods weep it is to
see a woman trying to do up pack
age.-Ram's Horn.
George Washington wore No. II
boot. 1t is hardly necessary to state
that he got there with both of them
1erre Hdute Express.
We speak of redeeming tomorrow
before we have purchased to-day; this,
in dol
terday. -Atchison Globe.
II want "a scrap book" This is a
| book store not a stationery" That's
all right; give me the Life of Sulli-
van. "-Phitadetphia Times.
An Austrian professor claims to have
discovered that the soul is nothing
more nor less than the natural per-
fume of the hair.-Indiancpoiis RAMS
Horn.
Wife-"So they returned your man.
uscript. 1t is too bad" Husband
(who thinks he can write)-"Yes; that
is what the editor said about it,
Boston Herald.
1t may be said usually of the hap
piest of them that before they are mar
ried he follows her around, and after
they are married she follows him.
Atchison Globe.
Blizzard Bill-"What We lookin' so
glum about Buff" Roaring Buffalo
-''Squaw heap stuck up-neap too
much style; won't let big chief smoke
in wigwam. "-Puck.
The average lie has to walk on
crutches within week. You have
never yet seen the truth in drug
store trying to buy an artificial limb.
-MtiWdukee NeaOs.
Mrs. Lushforth-''What excuse can
you offer for coming home in such
disgraceful condition. Mr.. Lu>hIorth
-"Nozzer teller was a-settin -mup. -
Terre Haute Cypress.
Lets cross over, here comes Bun
kerr He's the sleepest man ever
met" you can't blame him. Re-
mem Der that he is with himself all the
time. - Harper's Gazette.
IF my wife was (hic) here, she'd
say (hic) Is ish a nice state (hic) to
come home in It's what (hic) call
(hic) ice-elatu. condition, cos (hic)
Tn all alone (hic). "-B0Ston Heratd.
Stranger-''Why are those police.
men hurrying around the corner
Citizen = There is going to be
fight" .Wherep Around the cor.
ner?" NO; it is going to oe here =
n. J. World.
Visitor (to native Texan)-''Why do
YOU lei the butt of your revolver pro
trude out of your hip pocket" Iexap
because there's law agln carry
in concealed weapons stranger -
Brooklyn Life.
What are you doing now, lragedi-
cus2" 'Tattooed man on the BOW,
ery.n Get out" True. l wen,
bathing in hired suit last week ana
I've looked the part ever since. Nv
Y. Commercial advertiser.
First Cherub-"Who was that mar
that st. Peter just told to 90 below
He seemed to me good enough TO
enter" Second Cherub-"Sh! That's
the chap who has been writing dia-
logues about him. IN T. Sun.
,hA