The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1890-09-14

" 80 NSAY
THE GUEST OF THE EVENING.
know more Of learn with great rapid
ity, and now know as much useful knowl-
edge as many men who are twice my
age knows.
II want to know more about banQuets,
and how to appear and speak at them.
We think OF having one here soon.
wish You would give me ii few points, for
You certainly must be authority on these
things. VIII you answer through the
papers. SO as that others which may wish
to know more of this matter may also
have the opportunity
Success in life is not due so much to
inherent genius as it is to the ability to
go to the right place for what you want
to know. You have shown the first
qualification necessary tosuccess, Osten-
sible, and you deserve to win. You may
be in rather nebulous and gummy
state mentally, but you know where to
go for information anyhow
Banquets, according to Hills Manual
of Penmanship CalisthenicS, Etiquette,
Common Law and Diseases of Horses"
''are given in honor either of some not
ed occasion or some distinguished for
eigner or prominent citizen. generally
by an organization or association of
men"
The guest of the evening may be read
lily discovered by his i'll concealed an
g1lish. Ee smiles on all with the same
bright and bubbling JOY that is felt by
man who canvasses the Internal regions
in the interests of large powder works,
carrying his samples with him from
point to point. He tries to jot down
few thoughts on the back of a menu,
sweetens his consomme and tries to look
tickled, but the horror of his own fer
menting thoughtworlls and the sharp
prongs on his unborn speech take away
his appetite, and his bright, automatic
smile, frozen upon his white features,
looks like the mirth on the face OF an
ice cream Judas Iscariot.
Every banquet has its presiding Of
ficer, who may or may not be gifted in
that way. Some men are born banquet
ing, some acquire banqueting, while
others have banqueting thrust upon
them 1t is so with presiding Some
presidents will make even the guest feel
comfortable, while others seem to be
placed at the head of the table to keep
tally Of the grub consumed A gener-
Gus and hospitable heart cannot be ac-
quired Just Us we are about to fork over
our souls to the great grand jury at the
end of life, and so no man can by the
mere acquisition of property or position
alter his entire disposition in the after
noon of his existence. You have no
doubt visited at houses, Mr.. Peterson.
where the host seemed to hang on every
word you said, but kept moving the
cuspidore around with you wherever
you went for fear you might lapse into
barbarism atany moment and spit behind
the lounge. You have visited doubtless,
Ostensible. at places where the entire
visit was a gentle reproach to you. where
the host made it easy for you by exam
pie SO that you would know what finger
bowls and such things were used for.
have.
Possibly there is an air about me
which tenlpts people Of great refinement
to watch me nervously while eat, and
keep their more toothsome children out
of my reach. L am a plain man. born in
obscurity-in the darl, of the moon-but
when my friends visit me do not watch
the furniture with apprehension when
they use it, or start mp wildly when an
ovcrwrought chair cracks.
4
We have at home, rather against my
wishes, what is called reception chair
You have seen them. no doubt, Ostensi-
ble 1t is really trick chair 1t looks
well in the bay window OF a furniture
store, and for any other but sitting pur-
poses is quite success. | sat in it once,
without permission, however, and it
took me three weeks TO get back within
sight of the throne of grace. 1t is a
slight, nervous, sanguine chair, with
Queen>Anne back and Sarah Bernhardt
limbs to it. 1t does not weigh over
pound when in condition, and should be
given to a guest who does not know
enough to go home until filed with
No. G bird shot.
But we We're speaking Of the gift of
entertaining-l was about 70 say the
divine gift of entertaining, for it is, if
successful, a quality that cannot be &C
quired. Acquired politeness when not
associated with natural unselfshness
cannot fool any one but the meaty and
obtuse. | know of a man who will go
along for days and days without violat-
ing rule, and then he will forget HIM
self at table and imagine that he is feed
ing the same old j. l. Case threshing
machine that he fed in his younger
days.
Danqueting is sometimes carried to ex-
cess, but the more you banquet the bet
ter. you can do it finally. Take me and
Gen. Sherman. for instance. We really
90 not save cent by the meals we take
that way, for we are getting so that we
eat very little at banquets. He used to