New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1890-06-08
MR. AND MRS. RURAL.
A TALE OF SEVEN DOCTORS.

at least one physician, while in most OF them there
are from half dozen to dozen, and In many as many
as twenty-five have been counted. OF course this
multiplicity Of physicians suggests great many
interesting questions among which not the least IN
teresting IS how they all manage TO make hVlhg
Tho answer TO this question is much complicated By
the well known fact that comparatively small NUM-
Der OF these physicians get nearly all the lucrative
practice, leaving to the great majority lean and
| hungry modicum TO DO divided. But after all, tho
question how many physicians manage To Keep
the wolf from the door in VIGOROUSLY healthy city
Ike New York is not much the business of the
public as Of the physicians themselves; our more
Immediate object in this article is 10 tell little story
showing how hard II sometimes Is to find ply sican,
although. have SEEM they in every block.
Vt long ago Mr. and Mrs Rural concluded TO sell
thcf country place and come 10 New York to i've.
Mr.. Rural was pretty well fixed" having made A
fortune by stalking out swamp which he owned IN
squash Hollow. advertising 1t Paradise city, and
selling the lots thereof at high price. The old pair
who had always worked hard. decided thac they could
now afford to be idle for the rest of their lives They
would therefore take suite of rooms In one OF the
most exclusive and arstocratc hotels In the great
metropolis, where you won't have thing 70 do,
Peggy said Mr. Rural to his wife. Yes" she
piled. and where sit under the finest preachers
I'm tho country. Slas." And go TO the theatre and
opery every night" the rather irrelevant answer
Of sas. And call in dozen doctors in ten minutes
II wo are suddenly taken Sick" added Mrs Rural as
n cIncher.
so can. Peggy replied Mr. Rural. 81 al
ways did think that our John wouldn't a died II it
hadn't took three hours for the doctor TO get to him.
OF course. twant the Doctors fault, a he lived i've
miles away and he vistn when we sent for
him. Dut II VIC had lived in MOO York then, we
could had a hull full Of doctors qulckcrn you
could say Jack Robinson. | tell you, Peggy, city
folks don't appreciate their advantages. How glad
am that sold that wuthless swamp, 20 that we KIN
know what Twin really IS before die
In due time the change made and Mr. and Mrs.
Rural wcrc living in Of the handsomest suites in
the --. Well. this Is not a hotel Advertisement, so
the name Of the hotel will not be given. But when 1t
is said that it is Of the most swell" Of the many
SWELL hosclries Of Gotham. the intelligent reader
will understand Just which IS meant. And We
remark in passing that this veracious story Is in
tended only for the persal OF the intelligent reader.
for which reason large number Of easily understood
details arc left ont. IL may be mentioned. however,
that Mr. and Mrs. Rural we're much pleased to see
that doctors abounded in tho vicinity OF their
home. There were doctors signs the avenue and
doctors signs all the side streets. Indeed. Mr.
and Mrs. Rural at last began to fear that the great
| number Of physicians indicated unhealthy neigh
borhood, until the hotel proprietor explained to them
that New York the always locate in the
best and most healthy neighborhoods.
The intelligent reader will Of course understand
that these stars mean the passage of some time during
which Mr.. and Mrs Rural sat UNDER many noted
preachet. and if the truth must be told went to the
theatre and "Opery" a considerable number Of times
Indeed they sometimes thought that much enjoy
meHt indicated that they had left tho narrow way Of
righteousness, but they satisfied their con
sciences by noticing that other Christians, even
clcrgymcn. were leading still more gddy lives than
they were They only too willing to conform TO
the luxurious ways OF the city. and it was noticed
the hotel that they always ordered articles the
menu which had tine most unpronounceabe names
This sometimes led to strange results. when once
ii dinner they found that they had really ordered
four picked pigs feet and two small cups Of black
coffee. Instead however. Of being annoyed at the
bundcr they Joined the walter laughing it, and
requested that functionary 10 bring them some OF
the best po>sons. few rotis and whatever relieves
wcro in season.
Here we reach the nucleus Of our tale. For II was
through eating too wisely, but too we'll that the
catastrophe arrived whIch-but we will not anticipate
Again the stars indicate the passage of time As
tho curtain Of our little drama for The last act
Mrs Rural is disclosed bed Of sickness brought
on by the generous fare Of the city combined possibly
with the great change Of life involved IN the removal
from the country. We will not invade the sacred
privacy Of that sick room, except to say that the
attack both sudden and severe and that it
on nj about past In the evening.
I'm sorry for you. Piggy said her spouse but
I'll have here in IlHy who will bring You
around In time"
Forthwith silds went down TO the Office to have a
physician summoned double quick order Better
send the Teller yon call 'front.'" suggested Sas for
allu- notice that he's the most spry IN answern'.'
somewhat the surprise and modification OF Silas
the clerk did not 10 be very much worked up
over Mrs.. Rurars illness but he promptly sent |
Front to tho Office of that world famous practitioner
Or. Sap0dlla sas forced be satisfied and went
back to tell Peggy that the smartest doctor in the
hull town. would be on deck in about five minutes
IN five minutes bell-boy up TO say that |
Dr. Sapodlla not engaged in general practice. and
already Had moro work than he could do. He there
fore begged 10 bc excused.
Well" said Mr. Rural. there's Others just good.
Tell Front 70 get another doctor and be quick about
It. say. buD here's adimc.' For Sas had lived |
long enough in the hotel to learn the virtues OF /
uppHc.
We would gladly draw veil over the next three !
hours, but tho muse OF history urges rs Front |
assisted BY leutenans went In all 10 seven physi
clans, and failed 10 get OF them. The second was
attending a dinner of a medical club: the third was
dining at home and could not be disturbed; the |
fourth had just 10 Europe, the fifth never went
ont at night except 10 his own patients; the achcy
II the sixth said that his at the theatre,
but would doubtless call the day and the seventh
was at his home in Pondlyvillc, " j.. having simply
an Office I'm the city.
such were the messages which came 10 Mr.. Rural
in those awful three hours during which Mrs Rural
suffering the most dreadful agony. and calling
for death in loud but ungrammatcal tones Twice.
indeed did Mr. Rural rush wildly down to the Office 10
see what could be done. Gosh. man. he burst out
the second time. cant you get doctorl Peggy's
dyIn.7
Sorry Mr.. Rural. but doing the best we
can replied the clerk I'VE have three boys ont
now. Bad time to get physician. you know. Yon
geo those that ont ont. and those that are In
want 10 stay in Here. Front, take this telegram
up to Colonel snoozer's room. No, we have no cor
ncr suites sir; all taken by the year Ice water Ia
DOL Front" And Mr.. Rural hurried back in despair
to his suffering wife.
At last at half past 10. Just three hours after Mrs.
Rural was taken ill., a physician who happened to
call ~ the hotel 10 of his patients was Induced
to make a hurried call Mrs Rural lie discovered