The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1890-07-12
AUNT HEPSY'S LOVERS.

Good eVenn Laws what lot OF
brite, cheerful faces! I'm reel glad
to see yew. | don't believe yew will
call me names as my pert young
neffew duz. Hcwas a tellin' his sister
the other day tnat | was "a sort OF
antickwety-an old forsil-" tho
what that air meens | don't no.
But then my neffew is a suffer-
more, and goes to collidge, and of
course lie nose everything. But in
steppin' into this surkle of good
natured yung folks l am sure of a
welcum.
am lone lorn old woman now,
who has been just on the point of
gettin' merred fore time.
Yes, alack an alas! fore dredful
men hav approached with ther sweet
smiles an soft looks. But it has
only tuffend my hartstrings, as the
potts say, and here l am tuff and
hardy as ever!
The fust was Ebenezer Hartshorn
as danety a dandy as ever trod
this veil of teers. He cum from the
sity-and, deer me, how he did eat
my hot molasses ginger bread!
An wun mite he ses, can't Hepsy,
if yew was ten yeers yunger I'd like
to merry you, for l like a wife that
nose how to make such splendid
molasses ginger bread"
ooh, my" ] sed, as l gin him a
hevenly glance. amt only therty
odd. | shouldn't wunder if we mite
strike up bargain. But if we don't
I'll tell you how to make the ginger
bread. Yew take cup of molasses
an spunfool of sody-
l didn't get any fuder-for a bone
got in his throte, and he had to go
out doors to get his breth. But,
laws! | woodent a merred him no
way. He was tew presoomin.
The next was Jack Doge. He
youst to like to stay in the kitchen
pritty well, and l laid it to the big
fireplace with its shinin' andiruns
an burnin' logs.
| had my neese a visitin' me dom
the work mostly; an he youst to
address most of his remarks to her,
becaws he knowed that | was BASH
full. So wun day he sed he wood like
to be my nefew. s'pose he see how
much l thot of my relashuns and
that l wood like him better if he was
wun of them.
l told him he might be a neerer
relashuns than that by askin' at a
proper time. Then | walked off stiff
like, an he never said no more
about it. After that gin him the
cold shoulder; an hndin'' | wouldn't
say no more tew him, he went an
merred my neese.
The therd wun was Deacon Hi
man. He youst to get me few make
his shirts and nit his stockins'
really summat allowed my affeck-
shuns to twine around him, and |
got my linnen all spon for my sheets
and tableclothes, when a dashin'
widder come to his house to sew for
his few motherless children; and she
kerred on SO that he forgot me entire,
and his dooty to me; and in wun
week-just wun week-they was
merred.
Wal, the last wun was Mr.. Skinch,
who had just berred his wife, an was
the father of ate yung wuns, and
expeckted his futur wife tew help
plant, hoe an work in the feelds
hayin' and milk ten COWS mite and
mornin', tew say nothing of the
housework an cookin' for a family
OF fifteen, incloodin' the hired man.
l no he liked me, an dooty seemed
to erge me to take the place Of a
mother to them motherless children;
butt was few much-more'n my
newman mater Good stand. So | sed
no without teer.
This is my list Of changes--so you
see | mite hav kept up a stream OF
weddins pritty much all my lifetime
if | had tried.