Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1890-07-26
TEA-TABLE SALAD.

grip but still retain 1ts nolu.- N"odet-
pho Press.
r. A rich man married pretty girl,
And mllliner had she
And in a year that milllner
Was the richest of the three.
~ Reception.
BEss1E-"Did you two ma up?"
Charlie-"No. Only Jennie did,
THE first question lawyer asks about
q case is whether it is feasible Bling
hamton Republican.
"L1Es are called 'musquito bars now."H
"Why?"
because they are made out of hole
cloth. p West Shore.
FIRST Boy-"Hi, Mickey, come here
an git'r good smell o. roast beef"
Second Boy-"Not terday, Skinny,
dis is Friday" -Scribner' Magazine.
BAcoN-''Have you seen young Brum.
mel in his new tennis suit? He looks
like thunder!"
Egbert-''A loud as that ?''- TonkesS
Statesman.
''WoN by a neck" exclaimed the
racy young woman as she surveyed the
exquisitely neglige costume which had.
brought Alphonse to his knees.-Dry.
Goods Chronicle.
FIRST LITTLE GIRL (proudly)-"W are
goin' to Europe this summer"
Second Little Girl (contemptuously)-8
"Pooh We shust game from dere."-g
Ne,y York Weekly.
GLOW do you pay for snake STORIES
sir?" he asked as he entered the sanc.s
tum.
'!Bv the lvin'," replied the editor.
Smith, Gray d Co.'S Monthly.
THE tramp now seeks the pond or lake
BY some untraveled path,
And in some sheltered nook doth take
Again his yearly bath.
FIRST How did Co.s
Strutter get his military title; do YOU
know" Second Kentuckian-"Ye s:5
when he was young man he used tos
drill holes in quarry. ''-Burlington Fred
Press
80, Look at those big waves" said thei
girl at the seashore. Those are break
ers, aren't they, pa?'' 'Yes," said the.
old gentleman as he gazed at the hotel.
bill, "they are breakers. p Wdsttnqto2.
Post
IRRITABLE MAJoR-"Look, here, my.
girls, I'm certain I'm right about that,
| I'll bet my ears on 1T. !"
Sharp Daughter : ooh, papa, You.
shouldn't carry betting to such extreme
| lcuSll1S. Il tCh-4HC- Up.
FIRST BoY-''You get out. My father
is the president of horse railroad
Second Boy-"You get out. My father
is the janitor Of an apartment hotel" y.
First boy sinks away humbly.-Bosto2.
| Courier
GINA glada da coppa go to sleepa,'
said the Italian peanut vender.
"Why so, Dago % asked the messen%
ger boy.
FCoZa, when coppa sleepa no eat$
peanutta withouta paya. . Chatter.
CHICAGO TEAcHER-F'Yes, corned beef
is one of the most famous exports. Now
who can tell me what stands next t@
corned beef?"
Boston Little Boy (triumphantly)-s
Cabbage !'-Americd1a Grocer.
PENTANIETER DRIBBLETs-"S Say, set
here ! the paper says that Edwin Arnold
has been offered 100000 for his new.
poem. Now that's all rot" Jinks-#
''That's good deal of money, but liz
may be So" Pentameter Dribblets-"lE
know better. I've written good deal
of poetry myself, and | know Just what.
it brings "-Boston Times.
CITY CHILD-EDo country towns where
you go have theaters?"
Actress-"NO, country towns never.
have theaters, They have only opera.
houses, academies of music and temples.
of Thespis. '-Ne1o York Weekly
MAJ. CRUsT-"So you refuse, Miss
Fondant?"
Miss F.-''I am very sorry, Maj. Crust,
but your son has just proposed to meg
and | accepted him"
Maj. C.-"Good gracious! You don1
mean to say the boy has been such an
ass ?"-Londoo T3d-Bus.
Gland, no !" shouted the lookout
Gust listen to that" said Algy Did
anyone ever see hoe that wasn't u
land hoe?" "Why, certainly" sai@
Pauline. "You can see several feet o4
water hose right on board. "-Ta1#
Houte Express.
BARON L1EBIG says that gallon Of the
best beer contains no more nutrimena
than as much flour as can lie on the#
point Of a table knife. Beer drinkers
will vote to put the last syllable of the8
Baron's name behind the first.-F0rjd1E
Times Union.
HE-"You don't object to my being
with you 50 much, do your She lde's
lightedly)-''Of course not" He-"You.
see, father has made me promise that
won't become engaged till | graduate,
and I've got to keep away from the
&other girls as precaution." Bostonja@8
FRIEND-"I suppose you are rackinga
your brain nowadays over your gradua-a
ton ESSAY ?''