Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1890-06-21
A SUBURBAN RESIDENT.
The Kind Of Man One Cannot Depend
Upon.

Prom the New York Tribune
There's Jim Jones declare" exclaimed a
man IN an elevated street car to his companion
the other day. Il have not seen the old boy
Tor long time-since he got married and took
a house in the suburbs, in fact Lets go over
and sit beside HIM"
No" said the other. don't lets do any,
thing OF the kind I've seen Jim a good many
times since he got married and took a house in
the suburbs"
why, what's the natter" asked the first
speaker IN surprise. Il thought you and Jones
were good friends"
80 We are" was the renlv ,.br, Co. al a.,
dont care to hear ANYTHING today nbout
Jones garden and baby
why, said his companion. laughing. doe.
Jones talk of them muchy'
They all do" said the o,he, 9TH, $500,
VINO takes a house in the 81 burbs especinlly N
he BUYS II, seldom talks OF anything else for
Two or three years afterWard He per.uades him,
self that everybody else must be as much intcr.
ested In That garden and baby as he is and he
Is ready 10 MAINTAIN against all odd th.t I'd.
own particular suburb possesses more ndvant
ages than any other; that il takes a shorter
time 10 reach II from the city hall than n aoss
70 go 10 Harlem; that provisions are really
cheaper there than they are IN New York. that
the water Is better, air Is better. Gas Is better
society Is better and that he would not come
back to live in a New York Hat If he got IL rent
free"
"oh, well now, old man. you're just little
sarcastic. said the frst speaker. Jones Is a
good fellow, vostryman in his church. and no
matter how much he Is wrapped up in his home
surrounding I'm sure he would not saw any,
thing about them that WAS not strictly true"
HE wouldn't, eh? What'l YOU bets Two
TO one In dollar bills? Done with Won Now
as we pass him our way ont Of the door az
the next station I'll refer 20 ms suburb and
II bet you he II win the bet for me ana tell a
humping lie as slick any horse Jockey,
Let's go over now SO as TO have a little time
for it"
They got up and advanced upon Jones who
sat near the door.
Hello, Jones, began the disheliever in the
complete honesty of suburban residents
how are things looking now in South Lennon
Summer come YETI"
We'll. the season is a little backward vet"
replied Jones, but the things IN NV gar"
Il was speaking 10 Brown here, broke i'm
the skeptic, hastily, as be nudged ms compan-
lon' only moment ago about going 10 the
country this summer and he was directing 20
the mosquitoes. told him that had spent a
summer two years ago at South Lemon before
YOU moved there, You know. and that We did
not see single mosquito there in all thar time,
though people in neighboring towns COM
planned a little of the pests south Lemon I
believe, Is particularly free from them IL IL
not?"
A peculiar smile liz up Jones' face as he re-
Piled: Come off, Smith. what are you giving
me? You know well enough there are plenty
OF mosquitoes in South Lemon and the only
reason l moved out there and endure the dis
advantages which life in the suburbs Possesses
when compared with life IN the city is that /
am buying my own house by degrees. a thing
never could hope 20 do in the city. aud thus
saving a little money every month against nv
Old age, money which would otherwise be ex-
pended IN rent leaving me nothing to show for
II"
"Hunnershteenst" yelped the guard.
Lost my money" growled Smith. as the
pair passed out. "A man never can RELY upon
a suburban resident anyway"