The morning call., 1890-09-01
!" ASK A POLICEMAN"
Strains on the Forces Intellectual
Capacity.
Guardians Of the Peace Believed by the Public
to Be Walking OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
and Answers.

A general idea seems to prevail, especially
in large cities, that police officer is walk
ing encyclopedia of knowledge and that one
of the special duties for which he is sworn
in is to answer, and answer correctly, any
and all questions put to him.
The public, apparently, has taken Aunt
Jacks advice and when it desires to know
ANYTHING tasks policeman" OF course
this is quite flattering to police officers in
tellectual ability, but very frequently such
ettribution is most embarrassing, for ques-
lions are put to him that it would puzzle the
Sphinx to answer
When number of Chief Crowley's "fnest"
get together, say on Central Station office
detail the wearers Of the blue frequently
exchange pointers on the "question" Ques-
ton, and some of them tell of the most out
landish demands on their knowledge res
ervoirs.
A TALE OF WOE.
Said one of them the other day in giving
his experiences: Yesterday on Montgom-
cry street. woman walked up to me and
gave me good looking over. [ was dressed
IN my best suit of clothes, that is uniform,
and my star glittered like an electric light.
Says she, Say Mister, are you policeman
She said it so earnestly and was evidently 80
far from Joking that l had not the heart to
tell her l was, so l replied: Madame, am
not. am simply police officer oh. bo,'
saws she, then where's the PostofficeP l
told her with sigh"
Then up came another woman, much
better dressed than the first and asks me,
'iDo you know John Smith?' l politely told
her | did not. Then says she, where
does he live? Again l was at sea. She
came at me again with why don't you
know? You're police officer and ought to
know Meekly said that | didn't know
because didn't. Then she founced off in
huff.
LITTLE ANNIE ROONEY.
"Thats nothing" said Michael Joseph Con-
boy, the pride OF the Barbary Coast beat,
whose diamonds and gorgeous habiiments
dazzle all eyes. "Why, the other day Wild
eyed laddibuck comes up to me, ana says:
Here, officer. tell me quick where can buy
/ to myself. said l, what is he giving me?
Does he want Coast pocket edition of
Annie, or Market-street copy? So
to make sure, | eyed. him quietly and
in ''nonshalleyant manner. took
them prettily: Then L SAID: What are you
giving me?' Nothing says he, 'but am
natural singer, and l want the words of that
song. So steered him quietly into street.
car. and away he went.
THE PRICE OF BEER.
"Then another greeny met me near Jack
son street, and asked me if | thought 10
beer? Sure said L why nickel is too
much for some styles of beer Then I've
been cheated badly answers he; Come and
arrest the bar-keeper.'"
Still another of the party had an expert
ence to tell about man who had bet about
Envnruor StnOam1n'S MIN rality u hen he w
elected, and insisted on being told by the
officer what it was. Questions as to how
names were spelled, he also said, were fire.
quently put to him.
The general concensus of the gathering
was that police officers are asked more silly
questions than even the editor of query
column.
AT THE FERRIES.
Those officers who do duty around the
Market-street ferry have their hands full
or rather their ears filled, perhaps more than
any others on the force Only those of
supreme patience and cast-iron nerve can
standup under the steady flood OF questions
made as TO when does the O'Clock train
start?" "Why doesn't it do so at $780,"
Are there any ferry boats to Oakland, to
Alameda, to the Cliff House, to Goat
lsland?" '.Have You seen my mother. my
-Iafnny or T9mmy?" "Why haven't you?''
Can you change me a nickel?" and so on
In ceaseless torrent
Frequently women bounce up to an officer,
assert that they have had trouble with some
body miles away, and demand arrests made
Immediately. Then, if they are told they
must apply elsewhere, they get hopping
mad. They think all they have to do is to
say that there has been some breach of the
peace committed and the law does all the
rest
Taking it from Question" point Of view,
.polieeman's lot Is not happy one" AS
to his good times-but that Is another story.