The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1890-01-10

between them, for poor Lady Fanfare
failed TO present him with an heir
At the end of ten years, however, the
little Lord Tootle was born, and at his
birth his mother died. and from that
time forward Lord Fanfare devoted
himself to the rearing and education
OF little Lord Tootle Many were the
traps set for that willy old bird, Lord
Fanfare; mothers cringed TO him.
daughters smiled at him, widows
ogled him, musical girls played at
him, vocal girls squalled at himi but
all in vain. Lord Fanfare wasn't a
marrying man, and the ladies had
their labor for their pains. They
resented that, ths dear creatures-of
course they did; and then they had
their revenge II was Lady Kitty
Candour who set It go ingi 1 mean
that It was Lady Kitty who frst
started the ruusOr OF Lord Eanfare's
wickedness. You've only got to
look at him" people said, land you'll
see that it's true at glance Why,
he dyes his hair, and he wears chin
tuft-all very wicked old men dye
their hair and wear chin tufts; he
goes to TattsrsalPs regularly, he's
very thick with theatrical people, he's
q member of the Pandemonium Club,
and. to crown his iniquity, he's a
director of q music hall company"
why does he dress as il he wore a
tailors advertisement" said Lady
Drumthwackit, whose penniless daugh-
ter Hilda had tried very hard indeed
for the old gentleman, and had mlser-
ably failed
And he paints, ma, 1 know he
/ does" cried the srtless Hilda, ''or how
/ could he have the compilation OF @
/ youth OF seventoenP'
He has a wonderful complexion"
| replied her mother. but he needn't
! have Dragged of it 10 all the world "
/ Now. the fact was that Lord Fanfare
kept his connection with the Methuse-
I lah pill very dark indeed; but he had q
wonderful complexion, and being fond
: OF joke, and liking 10 do q stroke Of
business at the same time, he had al
lowed the omnibuses to literally bris-
tie with his portrait, beneath which
was the following ridiculous adver-
tisemeDt:
Il am sixty-fve to-day. and yet,
thanks TO the Methuselah pill. my
complexion Is that of q boy of seven
teen.-FASFARE.
You can't doubt the word OF peer
Of the realm, you know. and the sale
Of the Methuselah pill was vastly in
creased.
The fact Is that Lord Fanfare wore q
chin tuft simply because chin-tufts were
in fashion when he was q young bache-
lor in the guards; he went 70 IattersalPs ;
simply because he'd gone to latter
sails all his life; he was director of 8
music hall company because he was a
large shareholder, and because he
liked the little directoriaI suppers,
and because IN music hall matters he
was a very knowing old boy indeed.
Lord Fanfare and his friend and Co
director, Mr. David Psalmanezar
were sitting IN the directors box at
the International Palace of Varieties,
each with a Brobdingnagian opera
glass in his hand, and they were star
Ing intently at the stage, upon which
the three talented sisters, Laura, Cora
and Dora Flare, were going through
their well-known entertainment.
They're dirt cheap ct hundred a
week" remarked Mr.. David Psalm
anezar. Why, half the chappies in
town are over head and ears in love
with them, and they have to drink un-
limited whiskys-aud-sodes- whis-
kys-and-sodas, he added, with g
laugh-''to drown their sorrows; and
there amt a doubt" said Psalmaue-
zar, who was a vulgar man, with Q
chuckle, that they're Summers, and
that LaurR's the stunuingest of the
three; but don't think / should care
for hsr as a daughter-in-law," contin-
ued Mr.. Psalmauezar.
mo. l think I should draw the line
there" remarked his Lordship-
Then Why on earth don't you STOP
it7' replied MIR. Psalmanezar.
stop itv' cried his Lordship. "Stor
whatP"
You've always been a good pal tc
me, Fanfare" remarked Psalmanezar;
Its no business Of mine. but they dc
say, Fanfare, my boy, that SpindIes i
going 10 marry her"
Now. Spindles was a nickname thai
had been bestowed upon young George
u
Tootle. rs the newspapers say; his fel.
/ low chappies called him Spindles be
hind MS back and to his face. because
hts principal characteristic was a pail
Of very thin, long legs.
Don't chaf," said his Lordship
angrIly.
IT m not chatting" replied his frienC
and co-di.ector; that's the talk here
and I believe it's a straight tip, OLE
man"
I'm immensely obleeged to you
I'm sure" said his Lordship. He wa
an old-fashioned nobleman, and h,
always said obleegod, for tho sam,
reason that he wore a chin tuft-no
because OF his natural wickednes5. bu
| becauseit was the fashion in his younl
days.
And then Lord Fanfare bounced ou
OF the international Palace Of Varie
ties as though he'd been a frog jump
ing out OF 4 hot frying-pan.
Next morning he sent Tor his son
George" he said. addressing Lor
Tootie, when / die you'II be a ricl
man"
I'VE won't talk about that, father,
said Lord Tootle; and he said it sin
cerely. for the young man. though
''chappie." was fond Of his father.
You know what the position Is
George" said Lord Fanfare, yer
seriously. Fanfare Castle is or
tailed, 1t costs a thousand a year t
keep up; you might perhaps. let
for three hundred pounds sterling
and you can't sell it; to a poor mar
I Georpe the castla ia inst n whit