davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Idaho semi-weekly world. [volume] (Idaho City, Idaho Territory) 1875-1908, 1890-06-20
AuMoRs oF ApVeRrlsINo.
Announcements Which Cielm Move Thas
the Advertiser intended.

Announcements Which Cielm Mure GhRr
the Advertiser Intended.
A scrap book Of clippings from th6
advertising columns OF the press reveal
mass of goodly bits of unconscioa
humor. OF which only few may be
quoted here.
From such a scrap book are taken thu
following specimens. rossibly some q.
them are not so innocent of humorous
intent as their source would wish Ia
Imply, but many of them must GO us
irrefutable evidence that lliberniauism
are not confined 10 the land which re
joieed in its emineuee AS the birthplace.
Of Sic Boyle Roehe
Eau de cologne water and giant.
de Suede gloves" are luNuries Which 81,
are told may be ours at 'ruinously low
prices" A Chinese launlrymun VIII
wash and iron a collar With cape fot
two cents, and will sell tea and COTE,
at equally low rates"
A safe company wishes a trayclin
agent, '2SxISXS' --dimensiens which ar
hard to find among men capable OF
travelling and carrying sample safe
about the country with them, ami for
whom it is therefor considered ueees-
sary to advertise.
"A talented, Intelligent young man OF
many years experience wishes posi-
ton in a saloon as liquor blender''
an indication that benevolent Boston
has sent us something besides poets auG
pugtists.
a keeper Of a clearinghouse Tishes
TO rent = room to gentleman, large
airy and square"
Among the rooms to rent is ais,
found a companion advertisement to the
famous one which announced that INV,
sisters want washing" since "a too hast,
landlady is responsible for the aIluriu}
statement that she has "a handsom,
room. with bath for two"
1t was possibly printers error tina
was responsible for the naive announce
ment that Mime. Blank has for rent
room for a single gtatleman; beard very
moderate"
The landlord who adyertises fat
with ali the modern improvements, NJ
children" demonstrates that he doe
not know what All modern improve
ments' are and may be set down 3
Idaho semi-weekly world. [volume] (Idaho City, Idaho Territory) 1875-1908, 1890-06-20

This dogs name was Pere. His mas,
ter kept barber shop, and no douG ,'
many man dropped into the oarOers1
chair for the express purpose OF seeing
Pere play his wonderful tricks.
He would sit up erect IN cnar,
wear a stoyepipe hat ON his head, ma ~
a polite bow, smoke a pipe, read ca ,i tn
newspe per, and at his masters olGu 'ims
he would lie down dead, then lum55
up and dance hornpipe to wnlslls.' u,
tune. Walking along by his master 5p'
side he looked as demure as any ~ w
YOU would see in days Journey
Philadelphia Times.
Idaho semi-weekly world. [volume] (Idaho City, Idaho Territory) 1875-1908, 1890-06-20
MISCELLAN EOUS.

I'm a cemetery near DetfolN are oho
graves of three husbands OF me same
woman-all in a row.
One hundred and twenty walnut
trees standing in tho forest near Del
NH, Ind. we're sold lately for $1,000
"A prisoner in the Albany reniten-
tiarv. whose term was about to expire,
asked permission to remain for year
and care for the flower beds.
Some people get into tho habit OF
running in debt. They have actually
rot the habit and never feel so happy
as when they are owing somebody
Western Rural,
photographers have ways of commn-
nicating to each other unknown 70 com
mon folk Said one of them: ''lf ! am
sitting next to an associate in an audi
ence room, never speak. ! simply tap
out my message on the hand of my
friend"
An employe at the Baltimore
Ohio freight office in Titiln, has water
spaniel which acts as a messenger be-
tween the division freight office aud the
depot, often carrying important mos
sages The dog Is frequently seen trot-
ting along on an errand of this kind,
looking as proud as a small boy With his
FIRST paif of boots.
In 1871 man living at Porterville,
Cal, set a slip Of ivy at one end Of his
store. To-day it covers the whole build
ing and has climbed upon a large oak
tree. The first occupants were pair
Of mountain linnets, who were not dis
turbed, ana their descendants still breed
there in Immense numbers. They sing
as we'll as the German canaries.
The North Pole may at length be
reached, all ON account of a pair Of
trousers skin ones-w which we're on
hoard the Inflated ,ieannette. The gar
ment is said to have been found on the
coast of Greenland, showing that ON
their Journey from the Pacific to the
Atlantic, the breeches must have passed
the pole, carried that way by a current.
A Knoxville Tenn. barber shaved
a man recently who resides in the Smoky
Mountains, and whose board had been
growing since the battle Of Chicamanga.
The man, whose name is Harmer, was
In tho Confederate army, and shaved
the day before the battle, and had not
shaved since. He said he had got tired
-,
'o'iio'eo' III. ,u..,..-.,
nspai "s us y" o'9V ''"9' ",'" GUY
,ho Veh''o' s''iNs '''oo pieces W. inches
iohe' Pu' ~ Juss eil'9s y '"l'tgs sur
""'oi W wv ''Ui' 'O''s''''' ',''C' -" wy
VI NO" l'.'n' =" 49,, poon'9' " put'ol,
*e''9 P0V'i4''' - @"e ''''' t'''',.,' "
- " =, tt,.n',d t4 =, a.. Nm
~ aa,'.,,ae., ,,,'.,,. s''a s.,,.. =,
~. 20
', ~, $50 So. r.. r..
:. W . '''E '"' y" iva
s''eiia'li'1' 49, 70''''
'4o'a 'Ol''iNo ~ ,''' 10 u""V7 ,
nN'oNS -0"e ny 'lV "'
w i'li''ii u''S Nv ~ "'E
" 10 ~ 800" ny ~
su'iiN 'no "a" poio io''H, -" noi' n''' .
w o''s O'''' '"V 'i' ~ ',' W.
b'"i,A"s - Spio"' ~ al '''' u''''' ''iu VII
'esu "ppS,a's ~ '' So sa l'1 ia ~ i,''' t''
oouf' Al AN" ""A' g, W ''''' 'iVS re
us o. w o'' @ac .'', ,''on ei'g' vac ''
'no "'.A"i ''s'' '''''' " 'i''''' '''A'i'
Idaho semi-weekly world. [volume] (Idaho City, Idaho Territory) 1875-1908, 1890-06-20
Thousands of Glass Eyes in Stock

The cabinets of the large, par lsia.
dealers contain thousands Oh s In ana
of eyes, all slightly varying a. l Freu OIa
from the other. Many OF me rr1 Inen
dealers, too keep eyes which .n agsn ,G for
out by the week or montI, u !; s' con-.
special occasions; and there Is 81 = ave- eyqs
stantly accommodating stock d u because
which have been returned: ute" aus.
thew would not fit some fastoio'S '''
toner. Chatter.
Idaho semi-weekly world. [volume] (Idaho City, Idaho Territory) 1875-1908, 1890-06-20
RACE HATRED IN EUROPE.
NeiGhbors Whose Dislike for Each Other
Is Cor family Manifested.

We know Of few circumstances in
modern Europe more disheartening
than the depth of the distaste felt by
its different races for one another.
Their growth in civilization, which
certainly goes on, though it is very
SLOW, seems only to deepen their dis
like, which, again, is increased by their
propinquity. These Germans and
Czeehs of Bohemia cannot tolerate
each other. though they are not only
intermixed but know that. whatever
happens, they must remain intermixed
to the end OF time.
The Spaniards and Portuguese are
lodged side by side in the same PENN
sula, under circumstances which would
make fusion enormously advantageous
to both, Spain gaining her natural cap
l'al and trading river, and Portugal
gaming the force TO keep and to utilize
Idaho semi-weekly world. [volume] (Idaho City, Idaho Territory) 1875-1908, 1890-06-20
A MODERN PARABLE.
They Who Smile Upon the World shau
Grow in Beauty and Happiness.

They Who Smile Upon the World shau
Grow in Beauty and Happiness.
Two shrubs were planted near pal
ing fence. The soil was good, and with
plenty of sunshine, and being protected
from the north wind, they had every
opportunity of growth and bloom. But
one of them was deeply offended at the
fence. 1t was ugly-so near-stark and
stubborn: and nothing would do but
that this fence must be driven away.
And so, with soured spirit it struck at
the fence day and night, begging every
wind and breeze to help it drive the
enemy off the premises. The other
shrub did not notice the fence, but
looked out cheerfully the other way,
where it saw waving trees, green grass
and beds of roses and other flowers. 1t
spread it's sheltering foliage over nest
that had been built beneath it, fostered
group of violets that sought its
shadow, and loaded up every breath
that came with fragrance to be carried
off to any and all who would receive 1T.
DAYS passed, and a bluebird that had
watched Thorn from it's porch assumed a
little reckoning, and this was its conclu-
sion: The fence stands and is unhurt.
The plant that was cheerful and tried
to be useful, turning itself kindly to
wards the open world beside it, is hand
some in a wealth of foliage and flowers
The birdlets beneath it are chipping its
praises. and the violets are blessing i
day and night. But the one that fretted
at the fence and fought it, is torn and
shielded, ard it's buds that might have
been beautiful are blighted and black
ened. 1t is always so. They who smile
upon the world shall grow in beauty ant
happiness: hut they who fret, and scolC
and fight, while the objects of thei
buffetings remain unchanged, wea
themselves away into tatters and decay
] =. i L
Idaho semi-weekly world. [volume] (Idaho City, Idaho Territory) 1875-1908, 1890-06-20

flR
-Lemt
diron y
HI in u
-lioilc
geek Of +,
sAar, y
bali an !
large Y
pOar hot b..
Nth slie
Home 10
Rye
neal, or
cup slg'
teaspoon
up mil
thorougl
and STIR
Bake in
utes.
Fore
soft Gust
one win
beaping
coanut
glass di'
cake, an
It in. s
and ser
Cole
lent wa
Take 90
roni, an
macaroi
water al
the san
butter
macarol
with pc
tomato
md ba
the top.
"A
herring
an houl
them, q
dozen G
and a S
onion.
we'll t
them a
oil, sa
should
Il too
added
Fri
the POI
yoakin
then \
ready =;
too fas
the pc
and st
more (
add a
cream
salt an
pour !
take it
0rang
How
The
giyina
the re
ting S
precit
This
verita
tainir
As
clean
know
faces,
shoul
avoid
mel ]
then
slkal
selec
Is uni
ply t.
job Of
off ca
Tn
know
NIGEL
Is a +
pape1
rye b
more
of fl
GENT
will |
Aft
the b
are f
splas
is to
camp
turpt
toril
dry,
splas
be- s
lowe
rubb
ter
peoI
pain
into
w
Of p
wor
re
kno
the
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| con
alu
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1890-09-16

You may preach and you may plan,
You may do whAte'er you can
70 teach boy that quarreling isn't right;
But the smart impulsive youth
Will not realize the truth
Until he gets licking In q fight.
-lChicago Post.
Excursion 10 Historic Battlehelds.
A series of special excursions TO the
Battlefields of Cedar Greek, (Middletown)
Winchester and Harper's Ferry, under
the auspices of the Grand Army Of the
Republic are announced for September 16
and Oct. 10, 1890, affording rare oppor-
funitY TO visit the historic ground where
the contending hosts struggled for victory
Tickets for these excursions will be
sold from all ticket stations on the Balti-
more and Ohio r. r. east of the Ohio
River at one fare for the round trip on
September Is and Is, and October Is and
l6, 1890. valid for return journey ten days
Including day of sale.
For the accommodation Of those desir-
Ing TO visit the Battlefelds Of Antietam
and Gettysburg, the Baltimore and Ohio
r. r. Co. will place on sale excursion
tickets at one fare for the round trip to
these points at Harper's Ferry and
Weverton. to be sold Sept. 16 to "a inclu-
sIve, good TO return until Sept. % inclu-
sive. October 10 to "a inclusive, good TO
return until Oct. 25th inclusive, for rates
and time of trains call on or address
Agents b. s. o. r. r.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1890-09-16

what Happened to a Cruel Menagerie
Visitor.

what Happened 20 a Cruel Menagerie
Visitor.
The anteater Is described as being an
extremely stupid slow moving animal,
by no means given to attacking its
neighbors, but when hard pressed it Is
said to sit up on its headquarters like a
bear and defend itself with lis powerful
claws Apropos Of this habit we have
heard the following story Of an anteater
nj the Zoo, and, though we can not
vouch for its scientific accuracy, 1t has
a moral, and viii, we think, bear repetl-
ton:
A man--one Of the class SO well known
to. and hated by, the keepers, whose
chief interest in visiting the menagerie
appears to be to torment the unfortunate
misunderstanding by anteaters cage
was heard 70 remark Tat this was the
sort Of animal he liked, as it could not
bite lie then proceeded to poke it with
his new silk umbrella. on which the ant
eater retaliated by quietly taking hold of
that weapon with its claws, with the re-
suit that the unfortunate owner was left
IN possession OF the frame, while the ami
NAL carried off the silk as trophy of
well earned victory over its enemy.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1890-09-16

"JoInnie, said a prominent mine OPP
orator to his youngest the other day,
"rn give you 81 if you dig up the front
yard all ready for your sisters new gar
den.
sAll right, said Johnnie thought
fully; @but shall have TO ask for 25 per
cent. of the contract price in advance.
Not as an evidence Of good faith, but for
working capital.
"Work-what do you mean!'
swell, you see, guess I'll just bury
the quarter somewhere, and tell all the
BOYS in the neighborbood that pirate
hid some treasure round there. When
they strike that quarter, they'll make
the dirt fly, can tell you In that way
can clean up about 20 per cent. In
fact II"
swell, what?"
ain fact, don't know but what can
also arrange so as 10 find that quarter
myself. I'll work it just like that sailed
mine you were telling mamma about UNI
loading on the street last night.
And the father wept tears of JOY as he
thought what cold day it would be for
Jay and Rufus when his boy grew up
TPuck.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1890-09-16

The man who tells you confidently just
what VIII cure your colds Is prescribing
Kemp's Balsam this year. In the prepa-
ration of this remarkable medicine for
coughs and colds no expense Is spared to
combine only the best and purest tugre-
dents. Hold bottle of Kemp's Balsam
to the light and look through 1t; notice
the bright, clear look; then compare
with other remedies Prices 50c. an 81.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1890-09-16
Well. WHAT"


Husband, dear, that clock ordered
has arrived.
ut has, eh?"
certainly it has, but what are you so
lugubrious about? There is nothing es-
pecialIy depressing in that announce
ment, is there?"
"Isn't, Ell? I'd like to know if it
wouldn't make any man feel bad to be
told that his time had comelp
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1890-09-16
WILL KEEP SWEET LONGER.


WILL KEEP SWEET LONGER.
When drawn from the udder of the
cow to the Milk Protector the cover of
the pail keeps out all hair and dandrun,
also filth and odor from the stable. The
milk is then removed to the milk house,
cooled and bottled Immediately.
BETTER FLAVOR.
The Jars being small at the top, and
full, the milk is not effected by the mo-
ton of the cars or wagon, and escapes
being churned, as in larger vessels. and
is absolutely free from the metallic fla
vor so often noticed in tin.
HOW TO USE BOTTLED MILK
Do not open the jar until desired for
use. Put in a refrigerator or on the
cellar bottom. If cream is desired for
tea or coffee the lar can be placed
on the table and unsealed when
wanted for use, or the cream can be
poured of or removed with a spoon. IL
whole milk is desired turn the jar upside
down and shake IL well with cover on,
the cream will unite with the milk read
ily asst has never been exposed to the
air.
MARK WELL.
We intend to deliver milk In this city
in PURER, FREsHER. swEETER and
CLEANER manner than has ever been &C
complished before The milk viii be
good as It comes from healthy cows fed
On sound and nutritious food. No de-
caying vegetables or sour Stops viii be
fed.
Families supplied daily BY addressing
u BEARDMORE.
SIS P. @. Box s51, Annapolis, Nd.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1890-09-16

The Granite State PRECEDENT Ass0cfati0n
Of N. H., which has organized and is now
represented by Local Beard of our epn
citizens Ia thss city, with large number
Of shares sold, offers You the privilege,
Of OscniaQ the House 70. -e.s reside is.
or property % vulud6se, TOR the monthly
rent you are now paying.
Any person who can sage dollar or
more month, may, by securing shares
in this Association enter into the posses.
sion of bis 0tea Home.
Properly will be purchased In any To-
cality in the City or County. wherever
the value may be sufficiently assured.
Members need no large amount Of money
10 obtain the advantage of the system Of
rent purchase adopted by this association
bnt any person can obtain loan by sub
scribing 10 share Of the same
Sshares viii purchase property At 500.
ii ara
50 /" s,SO0,
Any further information viii be gladly
given by r. g. ELLIOTT, Secretary Of the
Local Board OF the Association for this
city-who Is authorized to solicit for
same.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1890-09-16

n-If you want good. cigars and tobacco
% to Alex. HaKtss. Maryland Avenue
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1890-09-11

missiles against the house was like q
cannonade.
ssHere-whoa-police shouted Mr.
Bowser, as he struggled up. but at that
moment the head of the hammock gave
way and he was poured out on the roof
in a confused heap. He made two jumps
for the window and got in, but not in
time to catch me. He came into the
bedroom with pitch on his hands and
feet and gravelstones in his hair, and
before could say word he began:
Mrs. Bowser, I'll get even with you
for this, if l have to live one hundred
years.
''Why, what have L done?"
'sNever you mind! Look at mel
Aren't I purity sight?"
Eyes; but why did you try to sleep
out there?"
"You ask why-you! Why-why-?''
And he was SO overcome that he
danced around on one leg and couldn't
find the soap and towel until I got up
and placed them in his hands. It took
him an hour to get the pitch off, and
as he came to bed he said:
1.-THE train leaves at 1890 in the
morning"
''What tramp
"For your mothers. My lawyer will
open a correspondence with you there
I shall instruct him to deal literally
with you, and you can see urchild two
or three times a year.'-Detroit Free
Press.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1890-09-11
A "HOMe MARKET"
A Case Illustrating the FalIacy of the Home
Market Idea.

Market Idea
The census returns of the State of
Connecticut offer very interesting
commentary on 'shome market ideas of
the protectionists
That 'shome market" idea Is thus
stated in the organ of the Protective
Tariff Leage:
In every village surrounded by farms
Establishments of some kind that will give
employment to operatives. The wants of
these People Will create a demand fer food.
clothing and eh~l- er, and the product Of the
farm and factory will be ever In demand
Nothing will be wasted in transportation.
and labor will reap the entire harvest
According to that notion State with
one or more factories in every village
ought to be particularly prosperous in
its agricultural interests As Connecti-
cut is State whose manufacturing in
dustries are highly diversified and in
which a mill of some kind Is found in
close proximity to every farming COM
munity, the State ought to furnish the
protectionist with shining example of
his home market idea The farming
population there ought to be very pros
porous. and consequently growing in
numbers
But what are the facts? The farming
communities nearest the cities of Con-
necticut are shown by the recent CEN
sus to have lost about ten per cent of
their population in the past ten years
This result is arrived at by taking the
three townships lying nearest each of
the twelve cities in the State
So great decline in population in
these farming districts right at the
doors of the factories does not look very
encouraging for protectionists- Their
home market theory breaks down when
tested by experience
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1890-09-11

The ring is fastened to some part of the
stick with string long enough to per-
nit its being put in place readily.
Strapped to the upper end of the stick
is a snap into which is slipped another
ring at the end of small rope attached
to the wall behind the COW. When the
milking is finished, with one hand slir
the lower ring off the prongs and the
whole will drop back against the side
of the stable, and the tail be free.
Small ropes, with rings at the end, are
fastened along the back of the stable
midway between two cows, one answer
ing for both. The fastener is unsnappe6
and moved from ring to ring as needed
This is valuable not only as an aid il
fy-time, but as a cause of additional
cleanliness, which at some seasons i!
the greater benefit
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1890-09-11
Grass or Clover Seed.

IT grass or clover seed is to be sown
this fall it will be we'll to secure it in
good season SO that the soil can be pre-
pared and the season favorable, the
seeding can be done early in the fall.
In securing grass seed see that it is
clean and fresh. While some kinds of
seed will retain vitality a long time,
others will be of little value after the
first year. and this is the case with near
ly all grass seed, and in purchasing seed
it is quite important to know that it is
fresh.
In growing grass. whether for mead
ows or pastures, it is best to have a
good, even stand. and as free from
weeds as possible. To secure clean seed
reclean if necessary, rather than to use
foul seed.
Use plenty of seed; there is always
more or less that will fail to germlnate.
If you must purchase grass or clover
seed, order from responsible dealer,
so as to be sure, or at least reasonably
so, of getting clean. fresh seed. 1t is
better to pay a higher price for good
seed than to run the risk of failure with
that of a poorer quality, as the differ
ence in the price will be small in com
parison with the difference in the results
secured.-N. j. Shepherd, in Farm, Field
| and Stockman.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1890-09-11
A Milking Device.

The air is swarmlng 18th flies, bring
ing return of the vexations with
which mixers are all so familiar. The
plan shown does not mean that one has
to hitch the COW By the tail to hold her
while h{Dmilks. The device is designed
to be used in the stables to keep the
cows tail out of the pail and out of the
mixers face, which is usually the Sec
ond place she wishes to put it. 1t is
made of small piece of hickory with a
long. deep notch sawed in one end. A
clinched nail or screw keeps it from
splitting further. The long hair or
brush of the tail is slipped between
the prongs, and the ring is slipped over
the ends, thus securely fastening it.