The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1890-04-18
DIDN'T KNOW BEANS.
Experience of College Man on Earn
Paper.

Experience of College Man on n Farm
Paper.
have had considerable experience as an
agricultural editor, but, fortunately, it was
condensed into very brief period of my
life. Shortly after leaving college bought
out a small paper in a country town, and
launched myself upon what then called
the career of a Journalist"
My agricultural Department. was the
pride of my heart, and to it brought all
the ripe culture and experience of the recent
college graduate. 1t held the place of honor
in my columns, and am sure that honestly
endeavored to raise the standard of agricul-
ture in the section overshadowed by my ed
itorial tripod. had been running this de-
partment for about three months, when one
day subscriber came ina farmer of the
old school and a man of considerable promi-
hence i'll the community. He tossed his hat
over the ink bottle on my table, took seat
andfemarked:
''See here, Mr. Editor, if this there paper
of yourn doesn't brace up pretty quick. I'm
"a goin' to stop my subscription, and l
know others that air goin' to stop theirn
too
.Why, what is the matter?'' exclaimed,
in CONSERVATION. II BATTERED myself that
/ was getting out the best paper in the
state. especially for farmers"
That's jest where the shoe pinches,'' re
piled my visitor, frankly. "What you have
lus- simply r.lklus. Now look at this edi
toriai op COWS he continued, pulling
paper rom his pocket. Listen to this
sentences: The sooner a COW is killed for
beef the less milk she will be llkyly to
give"
''Well. what is the matter with that?"
demanded. Can you deny that that is a
fact?'
"Thunderation. that amt the pint"
yelled the granger, removing his boots from
my fancy stationery and pounding the table
with his fist. "Of course it's a fact but
amt it a fact that two and two is four? And
did you ever hear of anybody's kicking
against that? What's the use of telling us
what any blamed fool knows before he is
weaned!"
A shadow gathered on my handsome
brow, and looked thoughtfully out of the
window
And here's something else," continued
the granger. running his finger down the
column. speaking of hens, You say: The
reason why old hens SO seldom have teeth is
because as soon as the hens teeth begin to
get loose, they are washed down her throat
by her persistent habit of gargling when
ever she drinks. If hens could only be
taught to lap their drinks as sheep do, their
constitutions would be saved the wear and
tear of digesting SO many hard teeth
well, what Is there against that?" l
asked anxiously. Don't you believe it
yourself?'
'Believe it, screamed the granger, rs he
sprang to his feet and pranced around the
Office with face the color of boiled lob
ster. 'Believe it! Do you take me for an
ass? Don't you suppose know where my
hair leaves off and my brain begins? Be
lieve it! Why, heavens and 'arth. l hope l
amt lunatic yet, nor any of my folks.
Blast your gall. You may stop my paper
to-day. / won't have such nonsense III the
house."
So saying. my indignant visitor swooped
up his hat, distributing as he did so pint
of aniline ink over the table and the floor,
and disappeared from the sanctum leaving
me- in Inundated establishment, twirling
my mustache and trying to recollect wheth-
er hens had gums on one jaw and teeth on
the other. or only just plain gums on both
iaws.-Burlington Free Press.