davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1890-09-12
QUEER AND CURIOUS.
Physicians say that not one man in a
hundred uses all his lungs.

Physicians say that not one man in
hundred uses all his lungs.
A state official of Maine is wearing a
straw hat which he bought in 1859.
Under the present statutes of Missouri a
person can marry, be divorced and remarry
in thirty -one days.
Mrs. Maggie Ellis mulatto of Chatta-
nooga, Tenn, has given birth to the small
est child on record. 1t weighs thirty-one
ounces.
William Dawson, Indiana's shoemaker
astronomer who died at his home In that
state, was of the opinion that he would
continue his favorite study after. his death.
Lincoln, Me-, has blind man who is a
clever croquet player. He plays by infor-
nation as to direction, and by measuring
the distance by walking to the object ball.
Several newly Matched chickens were re-
Gently found in a bale of hay at Belfast,
Me. The eggs were probably pressed into
the bale when it was green and were
Matched by the heat generated.
A woman in Salem, N. j., thirty-four
years ago lost two silver coins in slit in
the floor Last week, the floor being taken
up for repairs, she instituted search for
the long lost money and found it.
After wandering about on the bottom Of
New London harbor for three days Capt
Scott, the diver, finally found Mrs Slater's
$500 gold smelling bottle, which she had
dropped overheard week before.
Michael Baxter has informed the inhabi-
tants of Basic that the world will GER
tainly come to an end at 8 p. m. on March
5, 1885, and that 144,0 900 select mortals
will be taken straightway to heaven.
The police made a raid on a rendezvous
for tramps in New Haven, arresting a
number of outcasts On one of them,
named Dunn, were found three bank
books, showing deposits aggregating a.
! $50 90
A triplet steer team is one of the curiosi-
ties to be seen at Old Orchard, Me. The
steers are hitched to a vehicle resembling
those used in chariot races in circuses, and
ten cents pays for short ride in this novel
turnout
A twin watermelon grown by w. A
Jordan, of Johnston county, n. c., weighs
fifty pounds, and consists of two oblong
brownish green melons, joined by a sort OF
Siamese twin ligature or extension, from
which the melons diverge slightly.
A shepherd dog fell into dry well in
Oglethorpe county, Ga. A man procured
rope long enough to reach the bottom OF
the well, and lowering it was surprised tc
see the dog grasp the end firmly in his
mouth and hold on until he was drawn tc
the top.
In the forests of Washington and British
Columbia trees are seen dripping copiously
during clear, bright days, when no dew is
visible elsewhere The dripping is so pro
fuse that the ground underneath is almost
saturated. The phenomenon in this case
ia caused by the remarkable condensina
power of the leaves of the fir
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1890-09-12
ABOUT TEETH.

Human beings have thirty-two teeth.
Cows have teeth in their lower jaws
only
Frogs have teeth only in their upper
jaws.
Snails and cutie fish and devil fish have
teeth
a river dolphin of South America has
222 teeth
The hog is the happy possessor of forty
four teeth.
Certain spiders, centipedes beetles, ants,
grasshoppers and the common fly have
teeth
The alligator has an almost interminable
succession of teeth, but the number which
is Questionable at birth is not increased.
HOLSTERS and crabs chew with their
horny jaws, but they have complete sets OF
teeth in their gizzard-like stomachs. and
when the shell is cast the teeth are also
shed along with the stomach lining New
York Ledger
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1890-09-12
HOW WE LIVE.

Five hundred million of the earth's popu-
iation live in houses,
Seven hundred millions of the dwellers
on the globe live in huts and caves
Seven hundred millions of the worlds
people never cover only portions of their
bodies,
Two hundred and fifty millions of living
human beings on the earth virtually have
no shelter
Twohundred and fifty millions of human
beings wear nothing-in other words, habit
uallv go naked
Five hundred millions of the Inhabitants
of the globe are we'll clothed-that is, they
wear garments of some kind
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1890-09-12
safe from Observation.

Stranger (stealthily slipping into the
store)-l notice, Mr. Mudd, that you
have discontinued your advertisement in
the local papers, and I've called to
Merchant Mudd-Yes; I've made up
my mind that advertising doesn't pay, so
you needn't waste any
Stranger-Sh! I'm not an advertising
solicitor. My name is Tascott, and !
would like to get a job to work for you.
Chicago Times.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1890-09-12
An Austrian Wit.

Moritz Saphir, the witty Austrian
Journalist, was once standing in a crowd
ed theatre. Some one leaned on his back,
thrusting his head over his shoulder.
Saphir drew out his handkerchief and
wrung the mans nose violently. The
latter started back. sob, l beg your
pardon" said Saphir; II thought it was
mine, San Francisco Argonaut.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1890-09-12

WASHINGTON, Sept. again there is a
proposition to change the method of taking
ballots In the house of representatives.
Really the house in it's method of voting
is exceedingly primitive. 1t adheres per
sistently to methods which no business
concern would tolerate. There is no lack
of devices to save the time of the house in
taking roll calls One of the members of
the house, Mr.. Springer, some years ago
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1890-09-12

One-fifth of the members last voting As
soon as the yeas and nays are ordered some
things queer and primitive are seen.
Twenty pages are started out through all
the corridors of the house end of the Capt.
tol crying at the top of their shrill voices,
Yeas and nays" yeas and naysr They
stick their heads in the doors of committee
rooms, shout in the ears of members who
are enjoying luncheon in the restaurant,
disturb the little conversations which
statesmen will have with ladies in the re-
ception room, rouse lazy members from
their slumbers on big sofas in retired cor
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1890-09-12
Speed the Parting Guest.

Landlord-Better stay, Mr. Quibbs.
AL the big bugsll be here next month.
Observation-Disclosures a good many here
row. That's why / thought I'd co.
Detroit Free Press.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1890-09-12
VOTING IN CONGRESS.
THE YEAS AND NAYS TAKE FORTY
MINUTES IN THE HOUSE.

Many Schemes for Quicker Voting Have
Been Discovered, but None Have Yet
Been Adopted - Reasons for Keeping
the Old Plan-voting in the Senate.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1890-06-21
IA Rival to the Pedometer.

The pedometer's life of usefulness
to DO very seriously threaten
ed by q French invention for record
ing speed and distance Travelled by
man, beast or vehicle. The inventor,
j.. j.. Murey, ofthe Institute OF France,
has devised a very simply machine
to which the name geographical be6n
given. It draws or traces acurve on
d travelling band Of paper, which is o
register OF the speed with which a
person walks 81 avehiclem moves. The
recording mechanism is not ut all
complicated and is not likely to get
out ot order. 1T consists ofacylinder
covered with ruled paper and revolx-
ed by clockWork. On this q STYLUS
actuated by a wheel which traverses
the ground marks the trace, and the.
stylus moves at q rate proportional
To the wheel while the paper moves
:past III alright angles with o velocity
proportional to the time. The slope
Of the trace is q record Of the speed.
The telegraph is capable Of being
adapted to special purposes, such az
measuring the speed Of soldiers on
the march, the rate that railroad
trains travel, orthe time made BY
sracehorses on the TRACK and it la
that in the more general use which
promises to be made ofsthis iIstru-
mlent it will be found to meet occur
ately numerous purposes for which
SONS such recorder has been needed
New York Times.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1890-06-21
Tanned by Perfumes.

Wild animals are completely fascin-
ated and can be tanned by perfumes.
There was a Mrs. Lee in India who
had a tame leopard that played in
the house with her children. He was
inquisitive, as all of the cat tribe are'
and loved to stand on his hind legs
and with his fore paws on the window
sill look out at the passers by.
When the children wanted the place
for themselves they would all take
hold of his tail and pull him down
by that. He was generally very
amiable, but sometimes, his claws
being very sharp, the children were
scratched. So Mrs. Lee taught Sal
to keep his claws sheathed by giving
him when he did so a little paper tray
on which lavender water had been
dropped. This would throw him in
to transports of delight. He would
tear the paper into bits and roll over
with them on the floor. With moth
ing but a bottle of lavender water l
have become the best of friends with
a leopard, tigress and Il lioness in
the menagerie.-Indian Stories.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1890-06-21
Down on Agriculture.

The basest fraud on earth is agri-
culture. The deadliest ignis fatus
that aver glittered to beguile and
dazzle to betray is agriculture. We
speak with feeling on this subject,
and we've been glittered and beguiled
and .dazzled, and deceived by the
same arch receiver. She has prom
Used us bees, and they few away after
putting a head on us; promised us
early potatoes, and the drought has
withered them. She haspromised us
cherries; the eurculio stung them;
they contain living things uncomely
to the eye and unsavory to the taste.
She has promised us strawberries,
and the young chickens havedevour-
ed them. We were in the sheep bust
ness, and hard winter closed down
on us and the lambs died in theshell.
No wonder that Cain killed his broth
n. He was a tiller Of the ground.
The wonder is he did not kill his ia
.ther, and then weep because he did
not have a grandfather to kill
Walla Walla Tore Journal.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1890-06-21
New Way of Doing 1t.

The two men who had been sitting
together in the seat near the door OF
the car became engaged jim an ami
mated controversy, and their loud
voices attracted the attention Of all
the other passengers. Suddenly n
Of them rose up and said:
Ladies and gentlemen, / appeal
to you to decide a disputed point.
My friend here insists that not more
than three persons out of five believe
they have souls. / take q more
cheerful view Of humanity than that.
Will all OF you who believe you have
souls raise your right hands?"
Every right hand In the car went
up.
THANK YOU" he said with asmile.
"Keep them up just a moment. Now,
will all Of you who believe in a here
after please raise your left hands al
so?"
Every left hand in the car went mp.
"Thank you, again" he said.
"Now, while all Of you have your
hands raised" he continued, draw
ing a pair OF revolvers and leveling
them, "my friend here will go down
the aisle and relieve you of whatever
valuables you may happen to have.
Lively, now, JIM"
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1890-06-21
$500 Reward for a Lost Cat.

The equivalent in English money Of 81, 500
was once offered by an old lady in London
for the return of a ~favorite cat which had
strayed or been stolen. People called her q
'crank" and perhaps she was. 1t is unfor-
tunate that one of the gentler sex should
ever gain this title, yet many do. 1t is how
ever frequently not their fault. Often func-
tional arrangements will apparently change
q woman's entire nature. Don't blame such
sufferers If they are :%cranky," but tell them
to use DR.. Pierce's Favorite Prescription,
which is an infallible remedy for "female
Weaknesses" 1t will soon restore them to
their normal condition. 1t is warranted to
give satisfaction in every case, or money
paid for it will be returned.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1890-06-21
safe Blowing Extraordinary.

Safe Blowing Extraordinary.
Capt. William "A. Pinkerton, the
noted detective, having seen that two
burglars ofhis professional a%cquaint-
ance were advertised to blow open q
safe on the stage in Ave minutes,
went to the theatre one night in Chi
cago recently and told them that
they could not do it in Eve. They
declared they could. Thereupon he
puts $500 in the safe; they did the
same, and he locked it with his own
combination. "If you get the safe
open in Ave minutes" he said "the
money is yours. If you don't, it's
mine." Hethen stationed himself at
the wings, watch in hand, and waited
for the burglary enc The cue CIV
en-, they jumped through the window
and set vigorously to work.
In two minutes the diamond drill
had bored through the steel door.
Then q powder blower was inserted,
the bellows set to going, the crevices
around the door puttied, and the
crank drill was cutting the hinges.
The fuse was inserted; a wet blanket
hung over the door, and the match
struck. As Pinkerton's watch show
ed the passage of three minutes and
forty eight-seconds there was a flash
from the safe, q cloudlet Of smoke, a
heavy jar and the massive door fell
on the stage. The detective remark
ed: GIVE been chasing safe blowers
around the country for thirty years
and I thought I knew something
about the business. But this is the
first time I ever heard of O safe being
blown open inside of four minutes.
The lesson is easily worth $780,"
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1890-06-21
Hard People TO Satisfy.

1T il truly wonderful how univer
sal meanness ID" said one OF agroup
Of men in an uptown cafe the other
night, according to the New York
Tribune. "The poor show it as well
as the rich, though there is some ex-
cuse for theformer. Afunny instance
of the kind came under my notice
down at Coney island last summer.
1t was rather late in the season, and
most of the restaurants which add a
musical program ofsomesortto their
bill Of fare had dispensed with these
performers a. the patronage began
to fall off. This was one ofthose hot
days that sometimes come in the fall
to makepeopleg glad that cold weather
is near, / suppose, and We had spent
an hour in the surf, and were having
something to eat with our beer in a
restaurant, whose band, as / said,
had blown itself back TO town for the
season. t
"Along came a hungry-looking
music-butcher with an old violin, and
stationing himself near the door, he
was accustomed probably to invita-
tons to strike up q march, without
using his bow, began to reveal the
skeleton ofsWhite Wings atour least.
A howl of discomfort arose from the
people at the tables and waiter was
about to eject the offender, when
Schmidt, who was with us. and is, as
you know, an excellent violinist, pas
sionately fond of music and Of q gen
tie heart withall, though somewhat
conceited, interferred and befriended
the poor devil.
"Just what induced him to do it ]
do not know. He said it was the
hungry looks of the man. I think
myself it was Schmidt's vanity at
bottom. Similar stories are told
about Paginini and other great ar
fist and singers youknow, and brob-
ably he wanted to emulate them.
Anyway, he took the violin from the
man, and, tucking it under his chin,
gave us fifteen minutes of excellent
music, considering the awful old in
strument. The crowd caught on to
the humor of the thing and applaud
ed the kindness as we'll as the music
heartily.
"Giving the violin back to it's owner,
Schmidt sat down, beaming with
pleasure and trying to look uncon-
scious.
"Now pass around your hat, he
said to the tramp.
"The fellow was apt enoughto that
kind of work, and a liberal shower OF
dimes and quarters rained down into
the crown Of his greasy old headgear.
After he had completed the round he
approached Schmidt, and he waited
to hear what he would say. Schmidt
was evidently getting ready to stop
his flow of gratitude in a grand seig-
noir style, but the fellow only held
out his hat for Schmidt's contribu-
ton. We were actually habbergast-
ed for q minute and then we roared
with laughter. '....
"Why confound your impudence,"
said Schmidt, getting mad, you've
got enough money to keepyou drunk
for a week. Get out!'
can amt you goin' to bay me
noding for de use ofde violin?' whined
the tramp, as he pointed to a broken
string.
"I'H give you a concert pitch for
it my fine fellow said Schmidt, az
he grabbed the tramp by the coat
collar and fairly threw him out Of
the door,
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1890-06-21
"A Fighting Lioness,

Early one morning W. Blake, who
lives nea Daunt, Tulare county,
Cal, was aroused by q visit from
California lioness and her three cubs.
They appropriated a young colt and
q fine: porker, when Mr.. Blaketurned
loose three hounds while he went for
his gun. The dogs killed one of the
cubs, but they were all killed by the
lioness, who retreated in good order
before Blake Was able to fire.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1890-06-21

The Dairy Supply house of Cornish, Cur
tbs & Green Co., st. Paul, MIMI. offer to send
a copy of their publication The Dairyman"
to any one who will send their address on @
postal card to them. Thu firm are extensive
manufacturers and dealers in everything
that pertains to butter md cheese making,
and handle everything in that line from a
steam engine down toa butter ladle. 1t will
pay anyone wanting dairy goods to CORE.
spond with them.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1890-06-21
The Difference in Prices.

The Difference IN Prices.
Why is it that the biggest kind of
difference exists between the clothes
that are exhibited in a ready made
window and the suits shown
as soon as one gets inside? l mean
in price. Really it would require no
serious strech Of the imagination to
think yourself in another establish
ment. I have at last come to the
conclusion it's the window glass that
softens and melloWs the look of the
cheap suits there exhibited.-Phil-
adelphia Times
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1890-06-21

Six NOVELS FREE, will be sent by Cragin 4
Co., Philadelphia, Pa, to any one in the u.
8: or Canada, postage paid, upon receipt OF
25 Dobbins' Electric Soap wrappers. See
list OF novels OF circulars around each bar.
Soap for sale by all grocers.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1890-06-21

Consumption Surely Cured.
To THE EDIToR:-Please in 'orm your read.
ers that / have q positive remedy for the
above named disease. BY it's timely use
thousands Of hopeless cases have been per-
manently cured. Ishall be glad to send two
bottles of my remedy FIRE to any OF your
readers who have consumption if they will
send me express and post-ofice address. he.
specially, 7. A.. SLocuM, II. c., 1s1 Pearl
street, New York.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1890-06-21

Society lions are generally men who are
able to lie on their roars.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1890-06-21

DR. Pierce's Pellets, the original and only
genuine Little Liver Pills; % cents a vial;
one O dose.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1890-06-21

A Pocket Cigar Case and Ave of "Tansill's
Punch" oil for CSC.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1890-06-21

ONE
Both the method and results when
Syrup Of Figs is taken; it is pleasant
and refreshing to the taste, and acts
gently yet promptly on the Kidneys,
Liver and Bowels, cleanses the sys-
tenn efectually, dispels colds, head
aches and fevers and cures habitual
constipation. Syrup Of Figs Is the
only remedy Of il. kind ever pro-
duced, pleasing to the taste and ac-
ceptable to the stomach, prompt in
its action and truly beneficial IN its
effects, prepared only from the most
healthy and agreeable substances, its
many excellent qualities commend it
TO all and have made it the nost
popular remedy known.
Syrup Of Figs is for sale Ia Doc
and 81 bottles By all leading drug
Igists. Any reliable druggist who
may not have II on hand will pro-
cure il promptly for my one who
wishes 70 Try II Do not accept any
substitute.
cALlFORhW RIO SKRUP Co
81 sAS0,so0. cal
9oOIeeall kk. NEDH k0Aks 81.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1890-06-21

Each day is a little life; your life il but q
day repeated.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1890-06-21

Mirrors are for theindolsnt; they encourage
idle reflections.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1890-06-21

When baby was sick, We gave her castora,
When she was q Child, she cried for CastoriA
When she became Miss, she chung to CastoriA,
When she had children, she gave thsmCastoriA.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1890-06-21

Fortune Seeking Emigrants.
Many q poor family that seeks the west
ern wilds in the hope of winning q fortune, IL
preserved from that insidious Toe Of the emf
grant and frontiersman-chills and fever
by Hoststter's Stomach Bitters. So effect
ually does that Incompatible medicinal de-
tense fortify the system against the com.
bined influence Of q malarious atmosphere
and miasma-tainted water, that protected
by it the pioneer, the miner or the tourist
provided with it, may safely encounter the
danger.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1890-06-21
Consumption Surely Cured.

For patient waiting commend me to
woman or to God.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1890-06-21

i. John Stephenson, the street car builder,
will be 81 years old, July 4.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1890-06-21

The 1awn-mower will carry on business this
season with its usual push. "
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1890-06-21
sENATE.

SENATE.
After soma ~un;mnortant mornino hus:naaa
AZ .arata rraaaaaad - tho ons;dnrat;rr -
h Il s 81 IN naIandar y y
ma hanse Xii ,,rantino the RIGHT If wav II
+ba n,,l,,ths Man;tnha Ra;lwav comnar
Z $3.50 ia NJ pan,h;na rs.a.r ~ 1; I MI
Dakota. was passed and also the senate iii
"a credit Major Wham. army paw mnster.
With s28s3gS royernmen 1,inds 81 which ~
was robbsd III Arizona III May. 1859. After
tha nnsaaae 81 As nriyate PENSION bills I'm
senate vent into executiye session.
unr,ap
~ .A.o1A.
me speaksr announces Ine. appoln1ment
81 Ne. ~ ~ Z. ayIor, Fl onlo, Mr. oueWart
The Camden chronicle. (Camden, Tenn.) 1890-current, 1890-08-29
The Gubernatorial Contest.

There is going TO be a great
campaign in Tennessee this year
BUCHANAN, the Democratic nomil
nee for Governor, is 3 farmer and
a member of the Farmers and La
borers' Union, andwili be supported
by the whole power af tie Demo-
cratic members Of the organization.
The attack made 0nMr. BUCHANAN
in the columns OF few State pa
pers not favorable to his candidacy
has given him strength which he
did not possess before they appear
cd. The Republicans have nomi-
mated LEWIS Y. BAXTER, who does
not please the "boys." Mr.. BAx-
TER has personal enemies, and en-
emies Of the HARRISON administers
ton, who viii try to defeat the
ticket by work inside Of the party.
but be is expected to receive the
vote of, the truly loyal" d. G.
KELLEY, the Prohibition candidate
for gubernatorial honors, is dissat-
isfed with everything (and him.
self, too), and is aHording a deal Of
amusementfor the RepublicansanC
Mugwumps. The battle will be {
fierce one. but BUCHANAN. can be
safely backed to win.