The Bossier banner., 1890-01-30
THE ARlZoNA klcKER.
Some of the Burdens Gracefully Borne by
a Western Editor.


Some of the Burdens Gracefully Borne by
Western Editor.
We extract the following items from
the last issue of The Arizona Kicker:
"THEY WILL Know MoRE.-A combin-
alton calling itself the Acme Opera Com
pany, of Chicago, gave a show of some
sort at Reynolds Hall last Friday night.
No free tickets were sent to this office,
and when we sent our half-breed roller
boy over to the manager with a pote
asking him why in Texas he had neg
lected such an important duty, no re-
turned word that the Kicker could aiez
and be hanged to it. We therefore
kicked. We hired Cooper's Hall for She
same night, gave free dance and The
Acme Opera Company opened to an audi
ence composed of the landlords cross
eyed boy and two old half-breeds who
thought somebody was going to be
scalped. There's nothing mean about
us. We simply want what is due to the
profession, and what has been granted
it from time immemorial. When an
amusement combination sets out to
ignore us and make US sing small, some
body will certainly hear something drop
before getting to the top of the hill"
''NoT SAYING A WoRD.-Many of our
subscribers are asking why the Kicker
has nothing to say in favor of either of
the local tickets now in the field. There
are two reasons. First, because we were
not nominated on either ticket, and
secondly because bigger gang of ras-
Gals were never up for office. We wanted
to run for mayor. 1t is no use being
over-modest about such things. We are
better fitted for the position than any
other man in town. The office should
have been glad to seek us. 1t didn't do
so, and SO we sought it. We should
have filled the position with credit to
all, but the gangs wanted tool, and so
they nominated Doc Burrows and Hank
Jones to head the two tickets. Neither
of these men will ever serve Within
one month we will have both of them
back at Joliet to serve out their unex-
pired sentences. We have been warned
that we must come out and support one
ticket or the other or go to the wall.
Begin your wall business, gentlemen, as
soon as you please. When you down us
you have got to beat grand aggrega-
ton of newspaper, grocery, feed store,
harness shop, butcher shop and knitting
factory, all under one roof, presided over
by one head, and each doing fine busi-
ness"
''NoT JUsT YET.-The Tom Cat Silver
iniy
stock of the face value of $500 last week
and asked us to editorially mention the
fact that the mine would prove one of
the greatest bonanzas of the age for in
vestors. We can't conscientiously do it
yet. We want to wait awhile and see
whether we are to be assessed on the
stock or not, and we'd like to hear of
some one who has received dividend.
We used to: take every thing in silver
stock that came along, and puff up their
old swindles without stint, but we have
made a change of base in this respect.
We found that company which would
beat the public would also beat us"
"THEY Took ExcEPTIoN.-Tal Bill,
of the Gem Saloon, Ohio George, of the
Arcade Poker Rooms, and Lovely jim,
of the Red Front Sink of Iniquity, took
exception to our kindly remark in last
weeks issue that whisky and poker
were trying to run the town, and they
laid for us accordingly. On Friday afteS-
noon we were examining the carcass Of
big jackass rabbit killed over in the
gulch by Sam Andrews, and on exhibit
tion in front of Davises' butcher
shop, when the three worthless above
named approached and signifed their
intention of cooking our goose. We
had them covered by our gun in five sec
onds, and we held them in line with
hands up for full five minutes as an ex-
hibition. When they had been disarmed
we allowed them to sneak away. We
don't claim to own this town, and we
never set out to run it, but we propose to
talk in plain English on all subjects and
guard the public interests to the best
of our ability. If the three parties
named do not subside at once we shall
encourage a crowd to turn out with a
rope some frosty evening and pull their
heads chock up against limb"
''HE STILL LIvEs.-A Nebraska sub
scriber writes to inquire if there is anoth-
er weekly published in this burg. There
is We have chattel mortgage on ev-
cry thing but the red-headed, cross-eyed,
lop-shouldered coyote who edits it, and
can close him up at any minute; but we
let him run on in order to keep him off
the town. We rather like his audacity
as well. He prints $50 copies, none of
which can beread on account of the poor
press-work, and yethe claims the largest
circulation in the known world. He
knows we own the very chair he sits in,
but yet he devotes four columns each
week to abusing us personally. Yes, he
still lives, poor old unfortunate. But we
are going to give him rope for the win
ter. If he was bounced out he might
have to run for the Legislature. De-
troit Free Press.