Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1890-03-09
CLIPPINGS.

The brave has won the fair - Chicago
Tribune.
A hard winter-ths present. Hard to
understand Huntington Free Press.
1t is impossible to convince a woman
who arrives five minutes late at a station
that the engineer didn't see her coming
and started off just out of spite.-Pa
latka Herald.
An unsuccessful preachers work is no
sinnercure. -[Denver Road.
If love is blind, there is no use vast
ing gas on it.-iRome Sentinel.
: Machines for measuring the depths of
politics-polls .-[Lawrence American.
There is nothing in life so bitter as
despised love, unless it ba q quinine pill.
- Boston Transcript.
"I-aw-quite fohgot myself fob a
moment this morning, - began Willie
Washington, who was trying to be con-
versational. ''For which. - interrupted
Miss Belle Proportion ''you ought to be
very thankful. Il Washington Post.
Tramp-''Ah, madam, when you say
pie you strike a responsive chord in my
heart that? Lady (interruptIng)-
Every well, and now you can proceed
TO strike another responsive cord in the
woodshed yonde-. "-[Kearney Enter
prise.
"Boy, how much do you want for that
string of fsh?'' asked an amateur fisher
man on his way home from a days
sport. The boy named his price. "All
right, there's your money. Now, just
throw the fish, and he dexterously
caught them. "TaIk about catching
fsh!'' he said as he pursued his way
New York Ledger.
First manager-''I'm going to bring
out something new in the Shakespearean
line It's going to take, too Second
manager-"What is it?" First mana
ger-'''Hamlet, ; with two Hamlets and
two graves OF real dirt. ''-CNew York
Sun.
Ills father is rich, but he is too
proud to take anything from him - eX-
claimed one Oh Il party of gentlemen in
reference to a third person. Eyes, l
have u ticed that - said another, with
a panied look on his face, che prefers 10
borrow from his friends. '-CDetroit
Tribune.
Doctor-''Do you sleep we'll nights?''
"Sleep well nights! Why, doctor my
nights have been sleepless for years"
D0ctor-''That's too bad. But your
appetite-''
"Dsy after day passes without my
eating a morsel.'
DOctor-''Surely you need q change
Patient-"How would q change of oc-
cupatiOn do? You see l do my sleeping
dOVs and eating nights. l am managing
editor on a morning newspaper
Boston Transcript.
The Cercle MIlitaire at, Nice is a club
with - 900 members.
1t is said that the French
has got TO a pass where it will soon bavt
to borrow largely.
An ambitious young FTenchman an
LOUNGES that he is about to publish a key
to Browning's works.
Magistrate-''Had you any motive for
this heinous crime?' Prisoner-''Faith
1 thought l might be ableAto get a job in
a dime museum .''-[Chicago Journal.
This life is all a feeting show, but
Heaven knows it's no circus .-Ashland
(Wis.) Press.
You can get yourself inciuerated in
Paris for sixty cents. Competition has
forced rates down.
Fair customer sis this Western
beef?' Eastern butcher (proudly)-
mo, madam; we don t deal in ill-man-
nered steers from the rowdy West. This
beef. madam, is from a highly culti-
waited and very refined cow, formerly
of Boston .''-[New York Weekly.
Lady of the house-''Rosa, who is that
dragon you had here in the kitchen
y~esterday?' Servant maid ''AchI
that was my sweetheart; but l shan't
have anything more to do with him, be-
cause he is ALWAYS making remarks about
everybody. Only yesterday he said:
Rosa, you mistress is the handsomest
woman / ever saw What business has
he to talk about you in that f%ashion?''
Eady-''Still, he seems a very decent
sort of fellow and 1 don't see why you
should jiIt him .'-[Londou It'd Bits.
When a Prohibitionists goes out to
paint the town he does it in water
colors .-[Binghamton Republican.
Let every confirmed sinner cheer up.
Geronimo, the renegade Apache, is
teaching q Sunday-school class - BurI-
Free Press.
Dr.. Small, a skillful physician, lived
on Jay Hill many years ago. The doctor
was ferried over the river one day by a
who declined to take any compen-
sation for his services. The doctor ten
dered payment and urged its acceptance,
but the man would not receive it. "Let
it go, doctor, - said he, CT shall want
you to do as much for me some time;
perhaps l shall want a tooth pulled -
''Sit right down and have it out now -
said the precise old doctor; 81 don't
any such bills hanging .''-[Lewis-
(Me.) Journal.
Fair blows the breeze across the big blue lake,
And gently whispers, ''What we want we take.''
-tChicago Times.
Let Tomorrow take care of itself, and
you will find that it will let you take care
of yourself when it gets here.-[Atchison
Grasp pleasure as it flies. If you wait
for 1t to light you will very likely Ind
IL has come down on another fell
understandable Journal.
At the perfume counter-Clerk (hand-
ing out a bottle)-''This, madam, is the
Sweet By aud By Lady (snelling it)-
''Cmph! II may be sweet by and bv,
but it's awful now. ''-CHarpeI 8 Bazaar.