The Opelousas courier., 1890-10-11
IIUMOR OF THE DAY.

NUMOR OF THE DAY.
Watcred silk-An umbrella.
A backing box-One in the eye.
A skylight-The sun.-Prison Mirror.
The silent majority is not the popular
side.
Charged with dynamite-A party who
gets the explosive on "tick."-Detrou
Free Press.
With the angler it is more a matter OF
knowing just when than just where to
draw the line.-DetroI Free Press.
sI tell you, travel develops a man. If
he has anything in him it's bound to
come out in travel" Particularly ocean
travel. "-Puck.
The patient horse has endured for ages,
but the patient wagon has been known
only since the init reduction of the ambu-
lance.-EImir0 Gazette.
She lat the piano)--ssListenl-how do
you enjoy this refrain9" He-"Very
much. The nor you refrain the better
like il. "-Mustcal Courier.
Speak lovingly, my dear girl. If you
should hove to eat your W words, you
know, they'd taste all the better for
being sweet.-Boston Transcript.
He-"The fools are not all dead yet"
She-"That's as true as you live" And
he couldn't understand why she empha-
sized the ''you."-Nev FORK Herald.
cumso-"Jaysmith is %penErious, isn't
he9n Fangle-"I should Ay he wasi
He won't even laugh at a joke unless it
is at some one else's expense. -Epocs.
He was from far off England,
And he loved with vows in signs,
And while he dropped his sh's"
Why, them maiden dropped her eyes.
Philadelphia Times.
A learned writer declares that butter
was unknown to the ancients. This
makes it harder than ever to account for
the flavor of some-we have tasted.-Mer-
cnry.
"Gentlemen," said the orator, sgo
along our wharves from one end to the
other, and what will you inda' 'tWater,"
remarked the practical young man in the
crowd.-Light.
"Who is happy on this mundane
sphere" sneeringly exclaimed Pessimus.
1.-THE girl with her first engagement
ring" triumphantly replied ~Optimus.-
Jaoelers' Circular.
Judge-stHave you ever seen the pris-
e at the bar2' Witness-ssNgeer,
your honor; but I've seen him when /
strongly suspected he'd been at it,
Binghamton Leader.
Bloodgood-stIt's dreadful to suffer
from less of memory, isn't it," Wild
man-tDunhno. It depends on how
much money a fellow has borrowed
Burlington Free Press.
Robinson Crusoe-aWell, Friday, what
have we for dinner today Friday
"Goat soup, goat chops, boiled goat, roast
gaat--" Robinson Crusoe-ssDon't,
Friday; I cant go'tF'-PueE.
A German scientist is confident that
chemistry will yet enable us to make
bread out of wood. American lumber
men not only make their bread out of il,
but their butter also.-New York NsWs.
It happened one time that a Mr..
Fell in love with a maiden AMI kr.
And he said, BE my wife
V And bring joy to my lifep
She said, tNo, but / will be your ST.
Chicago Post.
Chicago Teacher-sYes corned beef is
mi of our most famous exports. Now,
who can tell me what stands next to
corned, beefp Boston Little Boy (tri-
umphantly) Cabbage. - american
Grocer.
"Papa's Home Tonight" is the title of
q new song. So the old man has yielded
at last. Let's see, it MUST be about fit
teen years since they bexsan to coax him
with ttFather, Dear Father, Come Home y
Chatter.
The conversation turned on the danger
Of being buried alive, when the youngest
toddler in the family ventured to suggest,
tfWell, ma, you never will be buried
alive. You snore SO when you are
asleep."-Haryford Post.
Inventor-"I would like to interest
youin a little invention by which sheep
a be shorn by electricity" Broker
turning 10 the ticker and looking at the
quotations)-aMy dear sir, that's just
what ] am doing."-Tssas Syatings.
Bookkeeper-aExcuse me, please, my
nephew died three days ago. Employer
(who is somewhat familiar with the little
game)-ssAll right, Mr.. C~ulpepper, you
may at: end the funeral. Died, as usual,
on first base, / supposea"-Dry Goods
Chronicle.
Mrs. MISUNDERSTANDING / don't
like that new girl of ours. She doesn't
half sweep the rooms. Why, I don't
believe she thinks of sweeping behind
the doorsi' Mr.. Newmarried-tsOh,
don't she thought She sweeps every
thing behind the doorsin-Laursnee
american.
Rhode Islands First Woolen Mill.
The village of Peacedals is noted a
having been the location Of the frs
wooden mill in Rhode Island, being bull
in 1902, aud containing n set of cards,
while now, on the same site is a plant o.
of TWENTY-FIVE mill buildings, with seven
teen sets of cards, seven combs, 1851
wooden and worsted spindles and 12s
looms, producing about 350, 900 yard
ner wear. besides about 50. 900 shawls.-