, 1890-06-29

ever it may be, if ii cannot be avoided
The Staten Islander suffers, but he ncyeI
weeps. He gets it in the neck, but b,
never sdueals.
Our forefathers settled on the island,
and here they hunted the same fox thaI
we huLt now. He has grown up amongst
US. He loves us. Her comes and eat.
out Of our hand and lets US hunt him. He
comes up nights and is a good roadster.
We are attached to these lands. Here we
can see the broad and ever bosom of the
ocean. 1t Is open all night. -
Here We may gather berries in the
summer time; also soft shell crabs and
mirth provoking Holsters. Here we may
take a straw ride down jersey street or
catch a swift horse car and see the plaster
mill and smell the Standard Oil works.
But in a few years, where now the new
mich goat permeates the saline air with
his pungent presence-or her presence
rather, OF course, in this case-and where
the bobolink swings to and fro on the
bOneset bough, a metropolitan museum.
upon where IT will do the least good, will
be seen perhaps. Polite ticket choppers
will brain the masses from New Dorp
and tell them to step lively, please.
Gentle things will tell you there is
plenty of room forward when it is a
Brobdignaggian lie from the east side.
To give a seat to a lady in a car will then
be the mark of a jay, as will also the
gentle thank you" in return be regarded
as the grand hailing sign OF the jayess.
So the Staten Islander asks permission
to worship the Great Spirit undisturbed
and wear flannel shirts even after 6
o'clock, and he wants time to get used
to the ways of the world a little before
be is called upon to dwell in a great city
or wear the straight brim derby of Little
Fifth avenue.
1t is true that New York has outgrown
her garments, and that she is oozing
gradually through the pores of her Jer-
sey, but why not extend back up the
Hudson to Albany, where they are used
to political corruption and mussed up
virtue?
Why cross the beautiful bay to swell
up our clover meads and broad, green
lawns with the odor of sewer gas and
private and poorly plumbed legislation?
Why enter the halloved precincts of the
Vanderbilts, aud the Van Toozleums,
and the Van Wycks, and the De Nyes,
with the odor OF a loud smelling political
past and the fortissimo present. rich with
the promises of future elections, which
will even turn the stomachs of its own
Maduro Stenchero cigars2
Oh. spare us then, Mr.. Editor, and
give us a chance TO learn something of
metropolitan government before we are
called upon to grapDle with it. At pres
ent we are ashamed almost to let folks
from town come and see how awkwardly
our corruption has been done here so far.
Little as | know about such things ! can
see all the points in these jobs. Our
boodlers are only apprentices so far, and
| would be mortified to death to have
city folks drop in suddenly on us and see
the amateur way our stealing is done.
Society here is at It's full height now.
Everything is quite gay. Mr.. Stilton, of
South Fifth avenue. a sleeping car off
cial, who has the night run betwixt New
York and Hornellsville, and wife, are
visiting Mr.. and Mrs. Web. Whitmore,
of the County Seat. The Whitmores
were worth $4,000 before the war, but
after the emancipation proclamation you
give them away.
They still brag how the war reduced
them in circumstances.
New potatoes are again to be seen on
our streets.
Anent the social whirl, it NAV be said
a successful dance was given last
at South Beach. and also barbecue
and clam bake, and willing feet gayly
the light agnostic toe until the
wee sma' hours anent the twa.
MIR. Chauncey Depew arrived in our
place last week and is registered at the
Nautilus hotel. He does not know
whether to spend his summer in Swiizer-
land or Perth Amboy.
A movement is on foot, backed by for
sign capitalists, to endow an asparagus
bed at Erastina.