Sacramento daily record-union., 1890-09-14

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A well-known J-street druggist told
tough story on Tom Scott, the Caledonian
sanitary engineer, the other day.
"a gentleman dropped in Toms place"
said the story-teller, ''and asked for
pound of solder and foot of lead pipe.
Tom went into the rear part of the store
and returned several minutes later with
the articles called for While he was
wrapping them up, smother customer came
in, and talked about the prices of bath
tubs, and then went out"
"How much is it, please?' asked the
solder and-lead pipe purchaser, picking up
his package
- Well, ,"'said the plum Der absent mind
edly, "let me see now. Half day for
| iourneyman and helper, Sc; cutting
through ceiling, 50; locating leak, 81; stop
ping up leak, 81; repairing ceiling, 81;
material, S10;-just S37, sir.'n
Did you read in the dispatches about
the feat of that mind-reader in the East the
other day?" said Charles P. Hall, the
theatrical manager, to a reporter who had
just boarded the car.
''Yes: glanced through it."
''Well, that reminds me. You know |
managed Bishop, the mind-reader, for
eighteen months before he died and know
all about him. I have always contended
that the doctors killed him-that he was
not dead at all when they cut him open.
While was with him it was common
thing for him to fall into sort of trance
and he would have every appearance of
being dead. His body would become stiff
and cold, respiration would cease and there
would be absolutely no pulsalion. He
would remain in that condition for hours
and sometimes for days, end | would be in
terrible stew. But he always instructed
me to let him alone and he would
come out all right-and be would,
too. l could have wagered on half
a dozen different occasions that he was
dead and came near sending for the under
taker several times. Bishop always ex-
pressed the fear that he would be buried
alive-while in one ofthese frances, | mean
when people thought him dead. When
l heard of his reported death, felt then
that he was in another trance, and subse-
quent developments. as you probably re-
member tended somewhat to bear out my
belief. If this new fellow in the East can
do what was said he did, he is q wonder
but | would advise him to get bill passed
through Congress prohibiting the inter
ment of dead mind-readers for at least a
month after their supposed DEATH
A gentleman from the rural districts, ac-
companied by his family, boarded Pavil-
ion bound car at Sixth and streets.
"Fare?" warbled the conductor.
"Yes," replied the rural gentleman, in
nocently. I'VE won't have to change cars,
will we?'
Lee Bell, the affable night clerk of the
Golden Eagle, is Bit of joker, as the fol-
lowing tale-overheard by the car editor
the other day-goes to prove:
Adrian r, Smith, the contractor, dropped
into the hotel Office few evenings ago, so
the story went, and undoing a medium
sized package, exhibited piece of asphalt
in its natural state-just as it was taken
formation. In appearance it resembled
greatly polished loaf Of black bread. Mr..
Smith considered it a rarity in the asphalt
line and, handing it to clerk Bell, asked
that it be taken care of until he called
for it.
The chunk was deposited under the
counter and no more was said about it.
Half an hour later several San Francis
cans strolled in and Bell could not resist
Have you seen this yet?n he asked as
he produced the curio from its temporary
resting place.
What is it?" asked one of the visitors,
as they all crowded up to the counter.
why, that's a relic that Prentiss Smith
brought with him from Europe" quoth the
disciple of Ananias. "It was found in the
ruins of Pompeii, and is believed to be
petriied specimen of the kind of bread the
ancients subsisted on"
well, now, if that amt perfect speci-
men, said the gentleman with the gray
mustache and silk hat, and he adjusted his
spectacles so as to get better look at the
relic.
Yes, indeed, said the clerk, "Mr. Smith
values that very highly. Why. it cost him
like blazes to get it into the country-the
duty was so high, you know"
''It must have BEEN" chirped one of the
DdILy, IuDDluR HIS uduu lcHu6ItY over tue
smooth surface of the loaf; land Just think
of it, gentlemen, thousands of years old
and how well preserved Wonderful
wonderful p
By this time the crowd had increased
until there was hardly room to get in or
out of the Office. Everybody wanted to
see it, and several wealthy gentlemen won
dered what Mr.. Smith would sell it for
One man said he would give $500 for it and
Immediately others began to bid.
The price was running up into the thou
sands when Adrian Il. Smith-the fates
would have it-csme in. Pushing through
the crowd he reached the courter.
Here, Mr. Clerk" he said, ''give me
that chunk of asphalt of mine, will you; !
want to show it to a friend outside"
The crowd looked paralyzed for few !
seconds. Then wild yell of rage went up
that would have done justice to a whole |
tribe of Comanches, and with gnashing |
teeth mixed profusely with beautiful Ian |
gusge" they began climbing over the |
counter to get at the Joker clerk.
No doubt there would have been work |
for the Coroner that night had not the
nimble clerk discovered window through |
which he managed to escape.
"Welll we'll What will they get up |
next?n said the deacon, who had just |
alighted from bob.tail car aud stood gsZ- |
ing at nickel-in-the-slot device, by which |
the speculator, in return for money, is fur |
nished with a glass of lemonade, soda |
water. ginger ale, or anything in the tenn
parance line.
Why, that's nothin', ole man. said an |
individual who bore the appearance of be- |
ing tin-horn gambler, and who happened !
to overhear the remark. This ere ma |
chine amt in it," he continued. why, |
deys felly down at Frisco what's faxed |
up a thing that beats 'em all. .
Gracious Is ii possible?" and the dea- |
con was really interested.
Fact, ole man"
what is it, pray ?"
"Well, it's biggern this one, much big
ger, an it cost more, but it's daisy l tell |
you. You walk up, an there's platform
for you to stand or, an place to drop
quarter in. As soon as your quar-
ters IN, all of sudden, you're whisked in
side the machine. There's chair an
table inside, an as soon as you sits down a !
funnygraph asks you what you'll have
beef-steak, mutton-chop, pork-chop, ham |