New-York tribune., 1890-01-03
TIE Talk or THE DAT.

IHE IALh OF 1HE DAY.
"Tlle Boston Gazette one of the Oldest paper, "A
the country. and one Of the most straightforward aos
sprighty publications that como out OF View England.
enters upon its seventy eighth year with It's next
issue, January A, $780, with the good wishes OF many
friends.
A Revised version.-sunday school Teachcr-Nov
children, what did tell you that Joseph's father gave
Glass Gn chorusl--A coat Of many colors.
sunday-school Teacher-Right Now, can any Of
you tell me what became OF this coat
Bright boy-I know. lie hang il up for thirty
pieces Of sDier-C -CClothier and Furnishcr. VIM"
Fortunately. 1900 doesn't rhyme with McGInty, but
1t is a close shave though.
One of the hotel clerks tells funny story Of a
verdant country gentleman who recently came to tho
days. Tho man hailed from the interior Of Indiana
and carried with him all the distinguishing character
outfit, and accompanied by friend. who was better
acquainted with city ways, the couple, after spend.
hotel The friend walked up 10 the clerks desS and
REGISTERED handed the pen to yerdant ineaany and
Amt agoln to stick my TO every piece Of paper
| fin layin' 'roun'. some o. our fFm'fs has bin
amt gon' to sign." And no amount Of persuasion
would induce him TO do s0.-(Cincjnuati Timesstar.
Pity the SORROWS of the boy who found pair Of
skates in his Christmas stocking. His gloom Is only
equalled by that OF the boy who got nice new sled
that joyous occasion.
Accidents VIII Happcn.-mlss summit (as the baID
Pardon me, MIR. Dashaway, but j believe that is
my glove protrudng from your pocket
Dashaway teonfuSedly)-Why, wonder how it got
there
Miss Summit (scverely)-I haven't the least idea.
| remember giving 1t TO Mr.. Cleverton at the last
Dashaway "a few moments later to cIevertonl-
Look n here old man when s Su e anoer 6s,
that trade at the same place-(Clothier and Fur
nisher.
For 10 years to come, 40 man. woman or child
will write the current date without using the figure o.
for nineteen years during that period two 9s must be
writen--in 1899, 1909, 1919, 1922 1885, 1919, 1882
1863, 1879, 1859, 1890, 1891, 1892, 1893. 1894.
1905, 1895, 1897, 1893 and for one year-l090--
three 0's will have to be set down. OF the people
living, it is safe 10 say that not on. will
write the date Of his her time without using
o. Besides mnding their p's and as, the next
three generations must give particular heed to their
9's Nine has never been regarded as particularly
lucky number but beyond question the years in which
it will hold so conspicuous place will brins benefits
Of undreamed-of value to the world.
Right in the van.-Cleverton- do you ike oui
New-York climate, Miss Calumeti
Miss Calumet from Chicago)-Oh, / think ii ID
dreadful. SO many sudden changes, You know.
When it comes to hustllng lannels on and Of, Mr..
Cleverton, l don't suppose you NewYork gentlemen
are willing to take back seat with any one.-(ClOhler
and Furnisher
While so many houses in Fifth-ave are being
turned over to business many more are In state Of
transition. Business is not yet ready TO claim them
for its own while the other hand Its advance has
driven away the old owners or tenants. There are
scores of such large and handsome dwellings in the
avenue and the adjacent streets, which have been
turned into boarding houses, or very poor apologies
for fats. In either capacity the income derived from
them is precariOus. In view OF this IL Is stranm
that the owners have not betlought them Of adding
couple Of stories to these houses, putting In an
elevator, and fitting up each floor for sman
family In this way they would largely increasi
their income and many families who now nave
live in the suburbs far uptown, would ma hom1
In the most desirable and central part OF the CITY,
Their First and Only Chance-First Man (exeitedly
Our boarding g-house Is a1re! -.
Second Man (calmyl-COme, then, hurry up, ara
perhaps we may be able to get something ho''-|wU
THE GRIP.
IF Won have blgness' Of the head
A cough, and ringing ears"
A hot and feverish cuticle
And eyes suiused with tears,
bilious feeling bout your waist.
And aching legs and hip,
Though far from we'll you are not scK;
You have not lost your grip
If YOU have running at the nose.
And constant fits of sneezing,
chilly feeling down your back
As though your spine was freezing
II in a nervous, "rOcky' state
Like one in drunken frenzy
MY friend you've got the French Z" La Grippe
or English Influenza.
Large Hearted Parishoner TO past9rtuIro,nnssss nss
MANLY yOur sermon on Holding the Fath WIZ
Respect to Persons has convinced me that am iI
doing wrong in occupying one Of the best pews 10
the Church while Bllderbac the hard working black.
smith, with the large family, sits In the last row o. o.
seats near the door. / have therefore decided 70
make him a Christmas present of my pew Tor the
wear 10 come. and will run my chances Of hndna
- Nstonishment of Brother Manly and c0nsternato4
among adjoining pewhoders.) .)-(Chicago Tribune.
The chest is simply sac according to the phy'
scians Then If you have the prevailing disease your
chest is grip sac.
"That mans genius. lie started PisVoi iao'oiJ
and invented cannon" II, 49,. .
W that's nothing l know a who started
bucketsh0p and made barrel."-( Munsey's Weekly