Morning journal and courier., 1890-06-16

Of Ceurse.-" What kind of a dinner does Fritz give you for twenty-five cents!' "Oh, twenty-five cent dinner.
 No Reason In It.-"Talmage says he came into the world asking why" "WelI, he's never been able to find out since, has he.''-
 Puck.
 Dealer-sI want you to understand, sir
 that keep good fsh." Custaper-s'That
 may be, but why don's you sell some of itf' The Jester.
 At the Navy Yard.-stranger-"The 'ca. has been abolished in the navy, has 1t not.' Sailor-"Yes, but every sailor still has his kit."-The Jeater.
 The country census enumerators, after some experience, arc going to ask that the first question on the list be: "Have you any
 Washington Star. "Clara Johnson says you and are en. gagged, Ethel" said Chappie. "Clara John son always did say every spiteful thing about me she could think of."-Life. "Should we keep our vests in the vestryp asked Gilroy. "Yes," replied Larkin; "and our coats in the cotsrie, and likewise ou,
 trousers in the pantry. ."-Harper's Bszar. "Grindstone, have you ever tried raw onion as a remedy for sleeplassnessa" Cried it once, Kiljordan." "How did 1t workp'
 "Had to go to sleep to get rid of the taste."- Chloago Irlonne.
 A Voice from Africa.-Mumbo Jumbo oi Ujiji (greetiug missionary y)-Glad to meet
 you, sah, but I'se powerful tender bout my
 orthodoxy, an don't want to heah no talk bout revisin' de oreedi-Life. whom he finds skulking about the premises -"What the deuce are you doing here!' ''To tell you the truth, sir, am looking fol something to steal" "Well, that's all right didn't know but you were one of thsu pesky census-takers. ."-Arkansaw Traveller Blacknan.-Angry citizen-"How mucf will you take and leave the neignborhood al oncea" Leader of the little German band "Fity cents." Angry citizen-"You ask tot much" Leader of little German band-"Is dot soa We'll, plays one more tune, uni den you see if dots too much. Puck. The marriage wasn't a month old, and the young bride and her visiting mother sal watching the clock work towards midnight "What is that heavy, broken, uncertain foot step coming up the stairs2" said the mother. in-law sternly. 'I guess it's George, mamma You know he always suffered, and here oi late 1t seems to have got somehow into bii walk. k."-Philadelphia Times. Doctor-Rsally, madam, if you wish those splitting headaches to stop, you must throw | away that spotted veil see you wear. Fair patient-Pshawi
 Doctor-But your eyes wiu be ruined fl you don't take my advice. Fair patient-Bosh!
 Doctor (desperately) ly)-Freckles are 10 be in | fashion next summer, understand. Fair patient (exeltedly)-I'il stop wearing the veil right away, doetor-Lswrenc' 1 American.
 1 Fun at the Table.-An Austin man read fl l paper that the family should always be tn, 1 scene of laughter and merriment, ant
 that no meal should be passed in the mood,
 silence that SO often characterizss those oc
 casions. The idea struck him so favorabl
 that when his family was gathered aroun'
 the table that evening he said: "Now thi
 sort O thing of keeping so blamed mum a
 meals has got to stop. You hear me? Yo l girls, put in an tell stories, an keep u
 agreeable sort O talk, like; an' you boys
 laugh an be jolly, OF I'll take and dust you jackets with grapevine till you can't stand
 Now begin." The glare that he set round tn
 table made the family as funny as funeral |-Texas Siftings.