davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-01-16
ALL SORTS OF QUEER FISH.
The Census Bureau Offers New List
of Funny Ones.

For the first time in the history OF
census making in this country, the bureau
which conducts that important work finds
itself now compelled, by an act of Con
gress approved last March, to produce
statistics regarding the fishes that inhabit
the waters in and about the United States
The superintendent first contribution to
this branch of human knowledge has Just
been published in the shape of Il list,
merely giving the names of "aquatic
animals sought by fishermen" However,
this list is surprisingly interesting to pur-
sue, so very many queer fishes there are in
it, or, at all events, fishes with exceedingly ly
queer names.
To begin with: it would appear that
nearly all of the animals found on dry
land have namesakes in the watery
depths, fresh or salt. Poking around
among the unfathomcd caves of ocean,
following the beds of running streams, or
far down in the fluid crystal of the lakes,
you will find the sea-hog-an insulting
name for the sportive porpoise-the sea-
lion, the sea-elephant, the sea-cow, which
suckles its young; the porcupine-tish,
the sea-horse, the goose-fish, the toad-tish,
the parrot fish, otherwise known as slip
perry dick the squirrel-tish, the pig-tish,
the buffalo fish, the tiger shark, the COW
fish, otherwise called the grampus-Sam
Weller's favorite though disrespectful
designation for his father-the wolf-tish,
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-01-16
Corn as Fuel.

Some people seem to be Mortified when
they hear of corn being used for fuel.
Now, if corn is cheaper than coal, what
possible objection can there be to using
it for fuel! A Kansas farmer can get
thirteen cents for bushel of corn. Let
us see, that is $310 for ton. To get
that he may have to haul his corn six or
eight miles to market. If he buys coal
he will pay from 81 to S. ton, and haul
it the six or eight miles back home.
The matter simply comes down to the ques-
tion of how he can get the most effective
fuel for IA dollar. You could hardly eX-
pect farmer to pay a bonus in order
that he might burn coal if he could get
the heat some other way. Corn at *3. 20
a ton is cheaper fuel than coal at So Il
ton, and, besides, it has in its favor the
fact that the farmer has the corn at home.
There is no more reason for a sentimen-
tai objection to burning corn than there
is to burning wood Chicago Tribune.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-01-16

get up the grizzly was onto MIN. ana q
terrific tussle ensued. The brute hugged
and hugged and bit iercely, and the
scout kept stabbing and slashing with his
knife. got an opportunity finally and
fired, taking chances. Fortunately l shot
the bear through the brain, and the SEQ ut
was saved, and, do you know, he was not
much hurt after all. I asked him how he
liked the hugging, and, do you know, he
actually said he did not mind it very
much. He said he was used to something
of the kind. l asked him how that was,
and he replied that he had been married
seventeen years in Utah, and had eight
wives.
mo; he was not afraid Of grizzlies.
He afterward sid he preferred to take
his chances with them than to 60 back to
T1tob
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-01-16

one had to do was to throw O graphing.
hook into the river anywhere and pull it
In to shore with q salmon or two hooked
There was no need of any bait or anything
else. 1t used TO be anuisance Sometimes
these fish were so thick in the stream that
we could not use the canoe till night time,
when the salmon would be asleep and
still. Two or three feet of water would be
running over them like over dam. We
had all the salmon we wanted to eat and
more, too.
Il have heard, said the Vice President,
that the Chinooks eat the salmon raw. "
T -That is not true" said Frank; 'all our
salmon were boiled in the river"
@How could you boil them in the
riyer?"
boil them2 Why the river was teem-
ing (steamlng) wi Ii them"
aOhl" and the story was duly recorded.
The President had fallen asleep, SO the
Secretary called on one OF the Oldest
members 10 contribute something OF an
interesting nature.
Il do not know, friends, he began,
sth,t ! have anything of an interesting
nature to communicate and you know the
rules of the club forbid our telling any
thing that is not true; so | am in rather
quandary what to tell you. Years age
] was mp IN Montana near q pace no"
known as Three Forks, Gollatin County
and powerful place it was for grizzlies
too, can tell you. Why, have seen al
many as thirty grizzlies in one afternoon
and big fellows, too, and they did moi
seem TO be afr id of any one, either
Well. one dav IN old scout and l deter
mined we would kill few for the skins
and to frighten them little, as they were
beginning to be little too familiar Oh
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-01-16
A Whistling Tree.

The musical or whistling tree is found
in the West Indian Islands, in Nubia anc
the Soudan. 1t has peculiar-shapeo
leaf, and pods with a split or open edge.
The wind passing through these gives out
the sound which gives the tree its pecu-
liar name. In Barbados there is II valley
filled with these trees, and when the trade
winds blow across the island constant
moaning, deep-toned whistle is heard
from it, which in the still hours of the
night has very wierd and unpleasant eff
feet. A species of acacia, which grows
very abundantly in the Soudan, is also
called the whistling tree" by the ma
tives. Its shoots are frequently by the
agency of the larvae of insects distorted
in shape and swollen into globular blad-
der from one to two inches in diameter.
After the insect has emerged from a cir
cular hole in the side of this swelling, the
opening, played upon by the wind, be-
comes musical instrument, equal IN
sound to a sweet-toned flute.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-01-16

should call it catching them on the fly. I"
And the story went down on the min
utes. you can tell your story now,
Frank, suggested the President, as soon
as order had been restored. Frank is one
of the younger members, and his tale was
ns follows:
Some years ago was in British Co.
lumbia at Chinook camp on one of the
rivers there. The Chinooks are tribe
of Indians there who live by hunting and
fishing and SO plentiful is the supply of
fish and game that they do not have to
work very hard. They are clean Indians
for Indans-and had a pleasant visit
of several weeks among them. In the
rivers there, when the salmon are run
ming, it is really an indisputablo fact that
the water rises eight or ten feet in height
to make room for the salmon to ascend
the river, and when they are returning
down stream after spawning they push a
solid wall of water in front of them. ]
know th is true, because l have seen ii
my self To catch these salmon, many Of
them weighing thirty to forty pounds, all
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-01-16

the same day. Of these, 1,243 die be-
fore reaching their first year; of the
9,025 who commence their second year,
only s, 1873 live to the end of the third
year-or about four-fifths of the origi-
nal number. But during the fourth
year the little fellows seem to rally and
become stronger, and the death rate
decreases, and continues to decrease
until the twenty-frst year, which is. as
few seem to know, made the age of
maturity because it is the period of the
highest state of health and when the
death rate is lowest. There are 7, 1874
of the original infants who have
reached maturity and begun the re-
sponsibility of life-more than two
thirds of the TO- 26S born twenty one
years before. At thirty-fve, the me-
ridian of manhood-so called because
it is just half of the three score and
ten years the palmist says are the
allotted days ION an average) of strong
manhood-there are 6,302 living. Fifty
five years, and the ranks are thinning
rapidly--only 4,727 are living. After
this the percentage of mortality stead
lily increases, until, at the age of 70
years, there are less than 1000 living
the figures being between S97 and
9l3. A possible few live to the close
of the century, but in 106 years not
one remains-all have passed away.
These figures are from the average life
of man, kept by the insurance compa-
MES for more than three centuries,
taking only healthy lives as standard,
and may be relied upon.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-01-16
No Angels for Them.

Early last summer New -Englander
moved out to small town in Arizona
and announced his intention of opening
up tirst-class grocery. He had o
number of bills posted up, dwelling
particularly ON the fact that the bust
ness was to be square and above board.
just as he was getting ready to open
shop deputation of citizens waited on
him and asked the newcomer if the
statement on the placards were made
in good faith.
"You mought as well give us the hull
truth about this thing" said the leader.
"You mean to say there hain't goin' to
be no water in the vinegar?"
"Thats what L mean, sir" replied
the stranger, little surprised. "Nor
no sand in the sugarp
"Ain't there goin' to be beans in the
coffee?"
"Most decidedly not, sirl"
"Nor chicory, nuther?"
Never, gentlemen; l give you my
word for it."
The crowd seemed nonplused for
moment, and the leader held short
consultation, at the end of which he
turned and said:
"Say, stranger, we've concluded that
you air suspicious character. But first
let me ask you if your cigars are goin'
to be loaded - with cabbage, you
know ?"
Not while /"
THAT'S all we wanted to know. We
give you twenty four hours to leave
town, an you better leave. When we're
in need O. angels we1l drop you pos
tai card. Good day stranger. And the
deputation fled out.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-01-16
SUNDAYS i'm England.

The question of Sunday observance
is one which disturbs the clergy oj
England more, perhaps, than any
other, says an exchange. In some
places the clergymen themselves have,
in order to secure some sort of respect
for the day, inaugurated Sunday
cricket clubs, the only restriction be.
ing that as soon as the church bells
ring, the players shall leave the game
and attend to their religious duties.
An effort is also being made tc
encourage the opening of museums
and picture galleries on Sunday. The
position is taken that it is better to
provide some innocent amusement
than to allow the men to idle about
the streets and otherwise pass the
Sabbath in vicious idleness.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-01-16
"THE KINGS TOUGH SUPERSTITION.

England centuries popular superstition credited
Touch with curing crofua although
King declared "mfdel"
witt These superstous practices have
their we have scientific remedy Dr. P Golden
which eliminates the impurities from the blood by the channels
all
paid for will be refunded The
sold
Bowels Golden Medical Discovery" all bilious
Dyspepsia, Chronic Drhea
caused malaria C
specific Alternative
the Skin
Eczema, Souus Swelng
monty known Pulmonary
trial WORLDS DsPENsARY MEDICAL
Main Buffalo, N Y
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-01-16

sucn snort notice. we set out ABOUT
o'clock in the afternoon, and got three fine
males in about two hours within a mile
of our prospective camp. We soon came
across another fellow, the biggest we had
vet seen, and got quite close to him
in order to make sure work of him. We
fred together at him, or rather intended
to do so, but my rifle missed fire for some
unaccountable reason, and the bullet
from the scouts rifle only wounded the
grizzly in one of his fore paws. He was
onto us pretty quick, can tell you, and
we made for trees in a hurry. got up
all right, but the scout missed his grasp
and fell to the ground. Before he could
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-01-16

Old Mrs Blivins grave was green,
The hour was twelve, the night was serene,
The moonbeams danced in the April air,
When the gossips of Poke, each bearing a chair
10 the rendezvous came. And down they all sat
To have a:delightful neighborly chat.
They talked the choice bits over and over,
Sometimes stopping their breath to recover.
And then they'd sigh, and say Poor dear
Oh, how shed enjoy this tale about Spear
And this awful sad thing about Rosa Key;
How she'd like it, along with mullins and tea"
And now and again they'd stop and they'd
squeal
ADear good Mrs. Bivins. oh, how do you feelP
You'd have thought, with such harvest tc
reap,
They'd have let Mrs. Blivins eternally sleep.
But no. AS time flew and scandals gave out,
They pitched into the dead, though twas pain
full, no doubt,
As Miss Flipps told the party; and then they
began.
Flipps sat next the angel, and as her tongue
ran
She prodded his legs with her Japanese FAM
She married first. Did you know it, Miss
Hodge?
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-01-16


"SHALL Wind the clock, vadder ?"
asked young Jacob Isaacstein, as they
We're about to close the store "No,"
said the old gentleman with q sigh,
"lizness vas too pad. Choost let it
alone, Jacob, und We will save the wear
and tear of the veels."
MEssRs GIBBoN and Redman (call-
ingl-Is Miss Flirtette in? Bridget
Faith, don't know. She said eff it wuz
that rid-hidded, freckled dude, she
wasn't in; but if it was that handsome
Mr.. Gibbon, she wus. But, begorry,
you're both here together.
MISS PRTTIE-G Grandma, Mr. Pat
tots is going to give me an elegant ring
set with carbuncle. Grandma (hor-
rified)-You mustn't take it, child |
Don't touch it! For your grandpapa's
Uncle Joe had one O. them carbuncles,
and died with it inside O. three weeks
time"
THERE is benevolent gentleman in
Boston who gives twenty-five cents for
religious purposes every time when he
swears. He has already id new
steeple on the Presbyterian church,
and is now engaged in "cursing up" a
donation to the Home Missionary So
ciety.
A COOK who had burned up piece
OF veal weighing four pounds threw it
away, and afterward explained to her
mistress that the cat had eaten the
meat. Very well" said the lady, "we
will see that directly" So saying, she
took the cat, put it on the scales, and
found that it weighed exactly four
pounds. "There. Fredericka, she said,
are the four pounds of meat-but
where is the cat 2"
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-01-16

The flooding of Fiji plantation by
an unusually high tide lately resulted
in the important discovery that disease
of bananas may be prevented, and a
healthy growth secured in young
plants, by the application of sea water
to the ground.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-01-16
An Actors Presence of Mind.

Of his experiences in his early days
Sothern, says his memoirs, with his
keen sense of humor, had, in after life,
many amusing stories to tell, of which
the following is an example: An actor
was playing the part of prisoner in a
dungeon, and, in order to make his es-
cane. had concealed in his dress a file
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-01-16
To The MinisfePs

He-Now, dearest, that we are out
for walk, is there any place that YOU
are particularly desirous of going to :?
L am at your service.
She (shyly)-Yes, George; would
like to go to that big white house over
on the next corner.
He-All right, dear Some friend
of yours lives there, I suppose?
She-Yes, George, the minister.
He Caught on. "-Ydnkee Blade.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-01-16

With LOCAL APPLICATIONS, as they cannot
reach the seat of the disease Catarrh Is a
blood or constitutional disease, and in order to
cure 1t you have to take internal remedies.
Halls Catarrh Cure is taken internally, and
aois directly on tho blood and mucous sur
cine was prescribed BY rs one qtb of he e best
physicians in this country for years, and is a
regular prescription. 1t Is composed of the
best tonics known, combined with the best
surfaces. The perfect com mbination of the two
ingredients is what produces such wonderful
results in curing catarrh. Send for testimoni-
ais free
+. J. CHENEY g. Co., Props, Toledo, o.
Sold by druggist price 75c.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-01-16

AREGIoN where buffaloes are increas,
ing, and that at a rapid rate, is North
Australia. Specimens of the wild buf-
falo (Bos batbalats) were introduced in
1929, and vast herds are said to be now
wandering over the country.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-01-16

(HE statistics of
Vlife and death are
valuable to every
b o d y, and q IL
8 h oul d b Q ac-
quain t e d W i t h
mortuary facts.
The chances of
life are better in
America than in
any other coun-
try. Suppose 10,-
26S were born on
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-01-16

occasion, and if you could have waited
till the next meeting l would have pre-
pared story worth your hearing. How
ever, 1 will do the best cap, and give
you simple little incident which oc-
Cured last June. l was fishing in n
stream near Ouruy for mountain trout,
and had been there ten days, fish
ing every day. 1t was delightful
weather, and I spent each day
on the stream, taking my lunch with
me from the ranch. At one turn in
the stream there is cliff about eighty
feet high, and at the base of the cliff is
deep pool. A smaller stream fell over
this cliff into the pool, and every few
minutes dark object would come head
long over the cliff dashing with this
smaller stream of water into the darkness
of the pool. These were trout, and in o
few seconds they would reappear above
the surface of the pool and ascend in the
air five or six feet and then fall back
again, look little tired and very much
surprised and then sink below the sur
face to rest. had been fishing with bait,
but could not get a bite and finally deter
mined to change my tactics. l made
small raft, about six feet square, and
padded it over to the foot of the fall.
and as the trout came up out of the pool
lafter coming down the falD with the re-
bound l caught as many as l wanted
with my hands, some of them weighing
as much as three pounds"
That was not sportsmanlike. What
kind of fishing would you call that2"
asked the President Indignantly. We'll,
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-01-16

PHILADELPHIA, according to the Rec
ord, eats in the course of the year 200,
600, 900 eggs, of which seven-eighths come
from Iowa, Kansas, Minnesota and Ne
braska, packed in refrigerator cars hold
ing 144, 900 each.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-01-16

All are entitled to the best that th cir money
will buy, SO every family should have, at once
. bottle Of the best family remedy, Syrup of
Figs, to cleanse the system when costive or bill
ious. For sale in 5Oc. and 81 bottles by all
leading druggists.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-01-16

WHAT difference is there between
bold, bad man and flannel shirt? The
difference is that a bold, bad man
shrinks at nothing while flannel only
takes umbrage at water.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-01-16

The Proprietor of Kemp's Balsam gives
Thousands OF Bottles away yearly2 This mode
of advertising would prove ruinous if the
Balsam was not a perfect cure for Coughs and
all Throat and Lung troubles. You will see
the excellent effect after taking the first dose.
Don't hesitatel Procure n bottle to-day to keep
in your home or room for immediate or future
use. Trial bottle Free at all druggists. Large
Size SOC and 81.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-01-16

in love. as in every thing else, experience
is a physician which never comes until after
the disorder is cured.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-01-16

A RUSSIAN mineralogist, X. D.
Chrustschoff, claims to have discov.
cred a new metal, which he proposes
oname "Russium." 1t resembles thor
ium.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-01-16

OW that the season
of the year which is
marked by long even
ings has arrived. the
Denver Fish Club, q
very exclusive organ,
izaiion, has resumed
it's usual weekly meet
,ings. Last night. says
the Ne,cs, the Secre-
tary was called to the
platform to give the
first experience.
well, gentlemen.
he began, Il am quite
g.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-01-16

There are only twenty nine free-traders
in the French Parliament. the remainder OF
the deputies standing up stoutly for the pro-
tective home industry creed of the Thiers
school
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-01-16
When the summers rose has faded
What shall make 1t fair againI
When the face with pain ia shaded
What shall drive away the painf
Mover shall a blossom brighten
Aftor hliohIed hN tha frngt

AttT DIIRnttII Oy IN6 lfOsI,
But the load of pain may tighten,
And We need not count as lost
all the pleasure OF life when the wifo and
mother, upon whom the happiness OF home 90
largely depends, IS af1iicttd with tho delicats
diseases peculiar to omen. 1t is terrible to
contemplate the misery existing in our mids.
because Of the prevalence Of these disease 1t
Is high time that ali women should know ;nnt
there is one sure remedy for all female co:a-
plants, and that Is Or. Plerce's Favorite PFC
self upon you. Ward 1t Off by the use of this
standard remedy. But il 1t has already crept
in, put 1t to rout. You can do it, by the use OF
the "Favorite Prescription" 1t is gudrdntte ed
TO give satisfaction in every case, or money
paid for il will be returned.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-01-16

Remove but the temptation of leisur
and the bow of Cupid will lose its effect.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-01-16

God intended for women two provisions
against sin-modesty and remorse
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-01-16
TALL FISHING STORIES.
AS TOLD AT A MEETING OF THE DEN.
WEIR FISH CLUB.

Some Historical Facts from Sketch Books
Describing Experiences in the Forest
Graphing for Salmon Trout on the Fly
-Tackling n Grizzly Bear.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-01-16

II afriicted with eyes use DR. Isaac Ihomp
cons EyeWator Druggists sell 2ac per bottle
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-01-16

You may find people ready enough to do
the good Samaritan without the oil and two
pence.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-01-16

Liberalism is the trust of the people tenn
pered by prudence; conservatism, distrust
of the people tempered by fear.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-01-16

One by one the roses fall but "TansIls
Punch &C. Cigar outlives them all.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-01-16

Girls we love for what they are, young
men for what they promise to be.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-01-16
OLD MRS. BLIVINS OF POKE.
BY Kill CoURTLAND.

Old Mrs. Blivins Law nll alone
Under neat gray marble stone.
Carved thereon WAS broken rose,
And sweet little angel with stubby nose.
The gossips of Poke all said, "Poor dearl
She has passed the news for many year;
And such tales, too" (here they'd nod and
frown),
.When you think OF the very small size of tn,
town"
Then they flew over field, they flew over brier,
They passed tho depot, they passed the spire,
They crossed the bridge and climbed the hill,
To be at the reading OF Blivins will.
They met in the office OF Lawyer Brown.
One of tho smartest men in the town.
Who cleared his throat and jerked his head.
And then these very strange words he read
The gossips of Poke without fear or fright,
Must visit my grave in the lone midnight
And when I've been gone year and a day,
Must bivouac there and have q soiree
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-01-16

For biliousnoss, sick headache, indigestion
and cons sipation. take DIR. Pierce Pellets.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-01-16

What u heavy burden is name which
has become too soon famous. U3.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-01-16

Oregon, the Paradise of Farmers,
Mild equable climate, certain and abundant
crops Best fruit grain, grass and stock coun-
try in the world. Full information free; Ad-
dress Oregon hnfgrat'n Board. Portland, Ore.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-01-16

ersof
of Catarhi
cannot BY its
properties DIR