davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Logan County banner. [volume] (Logan, W. Va.) 1889-1903, 1890-01-30
HUMOROUS.

That orange monopoly talked Of
had better be left alone. The first fail
ure on record was ezsaaased by reckless
trust in fruit.-Baltimor American.
Nisitor-.'The portrait is very fine,
but you seem to have devoted more time
to the hands than the face" Artist
That's So. You see the hands pay
over the money. n--Texas Siftings
Footpad -"Hold up. your handsr'
Pedestrian (calmly)-.I have been out
shopping all day with my wife" Foot
pad (sympathetically) - "By jerks!
Here, take this quarter. IN. Y. Week
ly.
-Attorney-"And now, Mr.. McCarty,
we will hear your opinion, as an expert,
of the building Contractor McCarty-.
1T was bad, very bad, sor. 1t couldn't
have been worse job, your Amer, If it
had been paid for in advance. n-Terro
Haute Express.
Sour son William" said fond
mother, lis an awfully lucky boy. He
bought a lottery ticket a few weeks ago,
for the first time, and it drew prize.r
"How much did he pay for the ticket?.
of his prize?o 1.-TWO dollars.D-N. Y.
Ledger.
Little Boy-ssM y pops a Meth
odist; what's yours?" Second Little
Boy-''Minei is theosophist !" ..Theo.
sophist? What's that?, 81 don't
know" why don't you ask your pop?o
Il did, but from the way he looked
guess he doesn't know, either.-N. Y,
Weekly.
Lady latter giving him support
will you saw some wood for me now?r
Tramp-sI am very sorry, but / have
another engagement" Lady = '.And
what, pray, may that be?n Tramp
with great dignity Madam, am
surprised that you should so far forget
yourself as to inquire into gentle
mans private affairs. Grip
80 Lawdl' cried old Elder Peters,
at recent negro camp-meeting. ..Hab
marcy on dat po' sistah settin' nndah
dat big ellum tree-de one wild de green
dress an red shawl an blue bonnet an
wicked eye an fiat nose! Her wild de
big brass buzzum pin on an all fo' front
teeth out an otherwise humly ez she
kin well be-good Lawd hab marcy on
herv--Time.
First Traveler-'sI do hate these
sleeping-cars. It's such awful trouble
dressing and undressing in those
berths." Second Traveler-sOn the
contrary, l always. feel in good trim and
practice for my work after ! have put
on my clothes in sleeping-car berth.
First Traveler-'.Huml I'd like to know
what kind Of work yours is. = Second
Traveller contortionist in cir
Gus. n--America.
The Logan County banner. [volume] (Logan, W. Va.) 1889-1903, 1890-01-30

Of this new warfare have made Khar.
toum seat Of power and authority over
the seighboring tribes, for since the
overthrow Of the Egyptian government
In the south they are masters Of the
Soudan- The capture Of that important
position, and the defeat and death Of the
heroic champion Of ciYil ization who per-
ished there. we're much greater events
than they even seemed to be at the time
they occurred; for they established pow
er, whether 1t was that of the Mahdi or
any other name, which commands the in
terror and the river. Edinburgh Review.
The Logan County banner. [volume] (Logan, W. Va.) 1889-1903, 1890-01-30
PERSONAL AND LITERARY.

John Tenniel is seventy years old,
ard has been making pictures for Punch
for forty years He lives with his sister
and is tall, military docking man.
The late Miss Amy levy probably
worked herself to death. She began
publishing at sixteen yearsgf age, and
at twenty-seven had become volumiA
nous author.
A French and Turkish dictionary,
by French Jesuit Father Joseph
Really, has been published at CONSTANT
nople. 1t cost the author ten years
labor.
The late John ererat, OF Chicago,
who left g.. 500, 900 to found public IL
brary there, stipulated that French
novels and works of an immoral charac-
ter should be excluded.
The FIVE girls OF Boston to whom
Mrs. Louise Chandler Moulton dedicates
her volume Of short stories are Miss
Augusta c. Winthrop, Miss Quincy,
Miss Rose IIollingsworth and Miss
Lang
Florence Marryat, the novelist. is
stoutish, thoughtful looking and inn
petuous hammered She has written in
all some forty-seven novels, and she be-
lieves in ghosts. She once owned a
newspaper and she still owns lap-dog,
which she carries about with her.
Marietta Holley. who wrote the IA
nous Josiah Aliens Wife papers, has
passed nearly all her life in the village
OF Adams, in Central New York Until
within the last few years she has mixed
very little with the world, living in alb
solute retirement with hor invalid
mother.
General Lew Wallace, one of the
best representatives of American versa.
tility, has stepped aside from the path
to perfect little invention OF which he
is very hopeful. 1t is a steel railroad
cross-tfe, which the Industrious inventor
believes will revolutionize railroad con-
struction.
THE late Mrs. George Bancroft, a
keen observer, once told me- says
Colonel Higginson, in Harper's Bazaar,
that she never knew an Englishman,
however eminent in art or science, who,
mentioning the fact to all his acquaint.
ances."
Walt Whitman is described as tho
most picturesque figure in American lit
erature. His gray suit Of homespnn,
always exquisitely clean with all It's
-hqmefincss, zhis tnrn-down collar,-ex-
posing his throat, and his large sombrero
hat make his =talEfgnre massive shuui-
ders, and face surrounded with its white
halo of hair and beard, more striking
than ever. He no longer walks, but he
can not drive out without arresting tho
attention of all.
The largest collection Of books in
the world is doubtless the National IL
brary in Paris. According to recent
report of the general management. 1t
now numbers no fewer than 2,078,0
volumes. Fine British Museum contains
about one million volumes; the Munich
library, 100000; the Berlin, roo, 900; the
Dresden, 500, 900, and the Vienna, 300,-
-000.a The famous Vatican library con-
tains only about 30, 600 printed volumes;
but it has about 25, 900 manuscripts, and
in this regard leads all the rest, surpass-
ing even the British Museum.
The Logan County banner. [volume] (Logan, W. Va.) 1889-1903, 1890-01-30
Tba t,ioht Of birds can be east

The fight Of birds can be easily
measured; but it is very difficult to
guage the speed Of fishes. As general
rule. the fast fishes are trim and pointed
in shape after the manner Of yacht,
and their fins lie close to the body,
FISHES Of prey are believed to be the
fleetess, the ordinary. food-hshes being
slow and easily captured, but corre-
spondingly prolific The dolphin and
bonito are exceedingly swift, but their
highest speed is not known. Dolphins
have been seen to swim round and round
4 steamer, so that they are capable o.
doing At least twenty miles an hour
The Logan County banner. [volume] (Logan, W. Va.) 1889-1903, 1890-01-30
HER NEW YEARS CALLS.
How Mary Bell Made the Day Brighter
for Othera.


for Others.
Mary. Bell had read that New Years
calls were very fashionable in some
places, and though no one thought Of
adopting the custom in the little town
where she lived, she asked her mother
IL she might not be allowed to pay some
visits on New Years afternoon.
III you want TO be fashionable, DEAR
said mamma, trying not to smile, Pm
afraid that isn't the way, for 1t is the
ladies who stay at home to entertain
their friends and the gentlemen who
CALL
But I don't know any gentlemen but
papa and Uncle Charlie, = said Mary, se-
riousiy, ''and they're right here in the
house, 20 they can't call ON me II they
want to. l guess mamma, II you're
willing, III just 60 and sec few peo-
PIE
Mamma was willing, and on New
Years afternoon Mary donncd her plaid
cloak and little white hood. kIss<l hor
s'||' wv " ~ ~ ~ Vi : -. ;I1s.1
The Logan County banner. [volume] (Logan, W. Va.) 1889-1903, 1890-01-30
The man who viii succeed ADD

The man who will succeed Abdul
Hamid as Sultan Of Turkey is !
wretched, lean, pale-faced creature OF
five and forty. named Mohammea
Rechad. He Is the Sultan's own brother.
and Is kept close prisoner In the pal
ace grounds lest he should ponepiru Tor
htv Mnjssty's dewnjs1lI
The Logan County banner. [volume] (Logan, W. Va.) 1889-1903, 1890-01-30
CARE OF PIANOS.


Dryness Is Sure to Put the Sounding
Boards Out OF Order.
Every few know how to take care of a
piano, said musical man to a reporter
who had visited his ware-rooms.
slow do you do 1t here?" asked the
scribe.
st is a popular notion that pianos
ought to be kept very dry. Nothing
could be more fallacious. Pianos are
not nearly so much affected by heat or
cold as they are by dryness, and, re-
versely by dampness. 1t is not gener-
ally known that the sounding board, the
life of the piano, is forced into the case
when it is made so tightly that it bulges
up in the center, on the same principle
as violin. The wood is supposed to be
as dry as possible, but, of course, it con-
=tains some moisture, and gathers more
on damp days and in handling.
Now, when a piano Is put into an
overheated, dry room all this moist
ure is dried out, and the board loses It's
shape and gets fiabby and cracks. Even
IL IL doesn't crack, the tome loses its
resonance and grows thin and tinny,
the felt cloth and leather used in the
action dry up, and the whole machine
rattles."
"How will you prevent this?'
Keep a growing plant in your room,
and so long as'your plant thrives your
piano ought to, or else there is some
thing wrong with it. 1t should be noted
how much more water will have to be
,,oured into tho finwpr-ont IN tho roo,,,
where the piano is than in any other
room. In Germany it is the practice to
keep large vase or urn with sopping
wet sponge in it near or under the piano
and keep it moistened. This is kept up
all the time the fires are on."--N. Y.
Mail and Express.
The Logan County banner. [volume] (Logan, W. Va.) 1889-1903, 1890-01-30

"A citizen, Of wellsville, o now
ssvent four years old, boAsts that no
has never paid AGENT v lawyer. doctor o.
The Logan County banner. [volume] (Logan, W. Va.) 1889-1903, 1890-01-30

Yes, papa, would do more than that
to please you. II / were strong and we'll
! would fight my love and conquer It'll
But | shall never be we'll, and have to
sit idle SO much, thinking all the time
that I can mott can not put George out
The Logan County banner. [volume] (Logan, W. Va.) 1889-1903, 1890-01-30

-Attorney-"And now, Mr.. Mccarty,
we will hear your opinion, as an expert,
OF the building Contractor McCarty--
1T was bad, very bad, sor. 1t couldn't
have been worse job, your Amer, If it
had been paid for in advance. "-Terro
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1890-07-21
N 4 VERY HIGH HORSE.
Senators, Very Grave and Very Dig
lhifed, Prone to Hold Them
/ selves Aloof.
d8lection by the People Would Not
Surrender a Fundamental
Principle.
0Ajsctions to the Present System and
Some Reasons for Election by
the People.

UaIrED SfAfEs SENATE, WASHINGTON, D. c.,
Julyd6.-It has been asserted in public
print that to amend the federal constitution
DO a. to provide for the election of United
States senators by direct vote of the peo-
pie wouldybe to destroy the symmetry Of
our. form of government as conceived and
adopted by the fathers-or as one journal
exuresses it, ito abolish the federal system
upon which our government is founded"
II il thapurpose Of this article briefly to
boint out the error of this assertion and
then to pass on to a hasty consideration of
the question whether it is not to the best
interests of this nation that senators be
elected by the people.
/ First, then, it is necessary only to direct
attantion to the fact that the present mode
Of 'electing daenators was adopted not be-
beoadee it was an acceptable compromise-
middle gfoNpd-upon which the advocates
.of,Uepy va1tous plans could stand together.
These divergent opinions ranged all the
way ffQn%he aristocratic or monarchical
motion t31At senators should be chosen by
democratic jaea that they should be elected
By theipeople.
It cannot. therefore, be said that the
adoption 81 this compromise made was any
partsof preconceived plan to make the
sgstan Symmetrical. Indeed, it is difficult
% go whatyelation any mode of electing
Qnkad 6totAs senators can have to the SYM
h1etryof our form of government, since,
tphAtever mode might be adopted, the form
Ebf pernxnent would remain the same. The
lepate would represent the states in
deas. sovereign. or political capacity no
2eaa ifathe senators were elected by the
Epeqs1e Of the states than it does now
HhaE khnv ava nloNknH hu AhA nkako 1a0-
slaiqfes. The functions Of the two
hogeis of,congtess would remain the same
tan4 1.-the sAEto'oo state representation in the
leQlfa AQuldAR unchanged.
! &&heb aindbof many sincere men every
hfdI}odttion TO amend the constitution Of
~ SactiIeee. al least an attempt to dues ,
Hipp the wisdom Of the men who framed
,.iegfsk atoharter. But this is wholly un
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1890-07-21
BOHEMIAN

is the Eastern Terminus Of the Butte &
3ozeman Short Line and the county seat Of
5allatin county. Gallatin County has more
GOAL Lands in a high state of development,
more Water Power, more Timber, more
Wealthy Farmers, and Greater Natural Re-
sources than any county in Montana.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1890-07-21

extend the influence and justly magnify
the power of the senate, and at sthe same
time promote the welfare of all the people
of the republic. JOHN H. MITCHELL.
Copyright.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1890-07-21

more churches, more Shade Trees, splen-
did Drives, Beautiful Lawns, and Com
Portable Homes, the Best System Of Water
Works, the Best Fire Protection, the
Purest and most Wholesome Water. and
Lower Taxes than any City in the State
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1890-07-21
BOHEMIAN


Is the place to make investments, establish
permanent business, to build homes You
can buy Inside Property, Outside Property,
and Acre Property, Cheap.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1890-06-20

of the riders. Pat Cleburne, on the
right, had been pegging away at the
Union army all day long, gallantly
repelling every attack made on his
line. Bragg had needlessly weakened
his center by sending re-enfOrcements
to Cleburne, and had still further
minimized the strength of what he had
left by imprudently deploying them
above and below the hill, instead of
concentrating his men at the top.
An immense mass of Union troops
had gathered behind the little strip of
woods in front Of Bragg's position, and
the nervousness and excitement of the
Confederate General and his staff was
doubtless OccasiOned by fears as to the
direction they would take, now that it
was too late to rectify their lines.
Major Blank, of General Bragg's staff,
was IN an extremely happy mood, hav-
ing taken a little more to drink than
was necessary or advisable, and his
hilarity somewhat shocked the nerves
of those who did not have access to
his means Of supply. To quiet him
and get rid Of him at the same time,
General Bragg directed him to take a
couple of eOuriers and go to a position
on the ridge, where there was a rude
VI CcLou W u n u 4D3os anu LCCOA444O1tC4s
Major Blank called two of the Gen
erals body-guaDd and rode to the point
designated, and up to which the outer
line of the Union sllirmishers had pen
etrated. @DismOunt, couriers, and ad-
vance as skirmishers, said Major
Blank. The eouriers Obeyed and con
ceaIed themselves behind the logs. One
of them saw a s1irmisher en- the other
side, and beckoned to him to come
over. Thinking that the courier was
his officer he did so, and was captured
That's right, courier; call another
one over, said Major Blank, at the
same time questioning the prisoner.
Marvellous as 1t may seem, the courier
pTacticed the ruse q second time with
success.
Major Blank said to the courier :
"Take these prisoners to General
Bragg; tell him I have mat the advance
of General Van CIeves' Corps, and
checked it. Go to General Breckin-
ridge and tell him to send me ten men
with lOng-range guns. and III whip
the whole army" The courier was
glad to get away from such a fre-eat-
ing officer, but he never got to General
Bragg. The men massed behind the
piece of woods opened out in the mean
time, Just as q person would unfold his
arms, and, with a wild rush. made for
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1890-06-20

The bilious are its certain prey. In inter
mittent and renittent fever, dumb ague and
ague cake, the liver is always seriously af-
One Of the chief reasons why Hostetter's
Stomach Bitters Is such sure defense
against chills and fever and every form of
ualarial disease, Is, that it does away with
liability to the disease by reforming lrregu-
larlty Of the hillary organ IN advance OF the
arrival OF the season when the disease Is
prevalent There Is no finer terrifying pre-
Paratiye for those about visiting or enigrat-
ing to q locality where the miasma-taint ex-
lists. There Is no certain immunity from a
disease IN an endemic or epidemic form, to
be secured by the use of the average tOnics
and anti-spasmOdics. But where quinine
fails the Bitters succeeds both in preventing
and curing. Moreover it removes every yes
fige of dyspepsia, and OyercOmes cOnstipa-
ton, rheumatism, inactivity of the kidneys
and bladder and tranquilzes and strengthens
the nervous system.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1890-06-20
A Grass-GrOwn Battlefield.
BIZ MRS. NAPOLEON B. 4oRANaE.

Sweet grasses cIothe the valley where they fell /;
OF that dark time, Nature has nauglht to tell;
The tender flowers nod where breathed their
last
A thousand soldiers IN the bloody past.
You would not dream that once this tranquil
spot
Had felt the burning hail of rife shot;
Or heard the screaming OF the deadly SHELL
Or the wild triumph OF the rebel yell
Hark Is not that the narshauing of men2
Does not a warlike bugle wake the glen?
Is not the trampling OF ten Thousand feet
Heard, keeping rhythm to the drummer beat ?
No not an infant in its mothers arms
Breathes freer than this scene from war alarms
The record OF that awful day is writ
In human hearts. Here is no trace OF it.
It should be haunted. Phantom hosts should
rise
And cloud with battle smoke the smiling skies
The clash of meeting bayonets we should hear,
And booming cannon shock the listening ear.
We stand in awe and list with bated breath
To cal Oh some echo of their tragic death
1t does not seem that time could Danish quit
The pain, the horror, or the dread alright. -
But earth is not in sympathy with war.
How speedily she covers every scarf
Is not the screen she WeaVes o er graves forgot
A mute denial Of the battle tOught2
NEW YORK CITY.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1890-06-20

he had been outwitted; but ne never
knew how badly. The calf had been
dressed, cut up, cooked, and divided
among the soldiers, the two culprlts
taking their share away with them.
All night a bright watch had been
kept for Captain L, his habits be
ing well known, and whenever his
voice was heard in stern inquiry, a
soldier would walk about the fire with
the caIf-slzin, filed out with sticks,
over his shoulder. The two prisoners
had enjoyed quite as much sleep as had
the Provost Marshal.
It was one of the headquarters COM
pany "who was there" a sober-looking
veteran who could never be suspected
Of such conduct, who gave me- all the
particulars Of the occurrence last sum
mer.
A sergeant Of my own company (whO
shall be otherwise nameless) was Sc
verely wounded at the battle Of Cedar
Greek, and for some months was under
treatment at one Of the Philadelphia
/ general hospitals. In the following
spring he was not sufficiently recovered
| to be discharged, but was able to travel.
| A letter came from home, telling of the
| severe sickness of his father. The
| sergeant put in an application for a
ten days furIOugh, which the surgeon
in charge approved and forwarded.
| Three days passed and nothing was
heard from the application. The sur
! geOn was a kind-hearted man, and our
soldier felt perfectly free to go to him
/ and state his case.
You'll get your furlough within a
week, was the reply. "They are a
! little slow at military headquarters.
But my father may die in the mean
time"
! The surgeon was thoughtful.
! Il have no advice to give you, ser
! geant," he replied; "but I may say
that if you should be reported to me
| absent without leave for the next few
/ days I would be too busy to do any
! thing about it till that furIough comes. "
To that intelligent soldier a hint
was quite as good as a kick. He let
/ the man in charge of his ward into the
! secret, and was reported as usual
among the present sick" How he
! evaded the guard-inspectiOn on the
! trains don't know; he did, some way.
| He passed the next ten days at home,
/ enjoyed the visit immensely, and was
/ promptly back at the Philadelphia
/ hospital at the end of the time.
Two days later his application for a
furlough was returned, duly approved.
And now, does the reader think that
the sergeant carried the order for the
furIough into the Office and returned it
with thanks, saying that ne had al
ready enjoyed its benefit?
All. no; he knew a trick worth two
of that. He went to the surgeon and
graveIy remarked that now, since he
! had received his furIough, there could
be no objection to his taking it in the
regular way. And the kind-hearted
surgeon laughed and said he saw no
objection. And do not think that the
! United States of America are a bit
worse off to-day because Sergeant
A. made ten-days' furlough cover
a twenty-days' absence near the end
of the war Chicago Ledger.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1890-06-20

q large family of children, and was al
ways pinang for home. He was utterly
worthless as a soldier. After deserving
and being brought back two or three
times, he finally desperately wounded
a guard who endeavored to baIk still
another attempt to desert. He was
captured, cOurt-martialed, and SEN
fenced to be shot, although the court
for long time hesitated to pass sen
tence, as some of the members believed
the man to be half-witted. Had not
Radcliffe nearly killed the guard he
would have only been confined, as he
did not attempt to desert to the enemy,
but to go home; but the assault deter
mined the minds of the court. On
being brought brought out for execu-
ton the poor devil blasphemed and
howled and struggled in a heartrend-
ing manner, and it was not until he
saw that his prayers for mercy were
useless that he .braced up like a man..
and, quietly kneeling upon his coffin,
received in his bosom the fatal bullets.
I have ever thought, and think still,
that the execution of this man was
stain on the court that tried him, IN
der the circumstances. He was
mOnOmaniac on the subject of home.
His Captain deemed him irresponsible,
and the majority of the officers of the
battalion we're of the same opinion.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1890-06-20

If he be a stranger, he enters the little
city of the dead with exalted ideas of
a towering monument or imposing
mausoleum erected over the dead sol
dier's remains He viii carry away a
picture of q deserted and neglected
vault in a solitary corner of a grave
yard, without q word, or a token or a
bit of marble to tell that a national
hero lies entOmbed within.
Only a few months before his death
General Hancock chose his own rest
ing-place. 1t was in the eastern cor
ner Of the cemetery, far removed from
all other graves, and directly beside
the grim and gloomy receiving vault.
When he died he was laid to rest amid
great pOmp and ceremony. a mOnu-
ment was Immediately proposed. and
the subscriptiOn-list started the rounds.
The mound surrounding the vault was
well sOdded, and the surroundings
made neat and attractive. Now, how
ever, the place presents q shabby
appearance. The grassy mound that
was once smooth and even is punctEred
with deep holes. The grass has ceased
to grow within foot of the roadbed,
thus exposing a long strip of bare
earth, above which the sod is ragged
and unkempt. The general air of
neglect makes the heEo's grave 8 pct
ura Of desOIation.