The Sunday morning news. [volume] (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1886-1891, 1890-07-06

The Condensed Pirate Does
UD His Fellow Citizens
in Rainbow Colors.
PAULus HOOK EXPLOSIONS


The friends Of ex-Police Commissioner
Buckley are congratulating him upon
his good fortune at the picnic of Paulus
Hook Council the other day. The ex-
Commissioners on that occasion won q fine
pair of trousers which he is now wearing
TO the delight and admiration of all who
know him. Every one speaks highly OF
the trousers except one envious indivldu-
al who says they look as If they had been
cut out by buzz saw by a blind man
and pasted together by deaf mute.
Strangers who have occasion to visit
the First National Bank building have
often noticed sitting at the entrance TO
the counting room Of the bank a very
quiet looking little man and wondered
who he was Joe Francis, the special
officer of the bank, is one of the best de-
tectiyes in the country He WAS for sew
eral years connected with the Jersey City
Police Department, and later was detee-
tive for the Pennsylvania Railroad.
When the bank officers felt the need of n
special officer and began to look around
for hun they encountered Joe and looked
no further. Fear is absolutely unknown
TO him. and he has succeeded in landing
behind the bars some of the strongest
and most desperate criminals in the coun-
try.
The weary sojourners who seeks rest
and consolation at the Taylor Hotel
buffet are frequently captivated By the
peculiarly aesthetic favor which fingers
ia all the beverages compounded by the
genial Frank, and wonder much thereat.
But the secret is out. Frank Is a native
OF the Hub. disciple Of Herbert Spencer
and an ardent worshipper at the shrine
OF Robert Browning As culture, like
blood, will tell. it has asserted itself in
Franks dexterity in manipulating the
titled extract of the golden grain.
The Morrow & Day dude has been liy-
ing in q state OF mortal dread lately,
which even the presence of the new fair
haired fairy could not dispel, and which
materially 1nterfered with his consnm-
mate enjoyment OF maccaroons and angel
cake. Early in the season he ran against
a dreadful rumor that owing to the exor-
bitantly high price of ice this summer,
the fifteen cent plates of cream would be
reduced to the size of the ten cent plates,
and the ten cent plates abolished alto
gether It was not until this week that
he plucked up courage enough to enquire
about the rumor and he was informed by
Miss Angel Cake that there was no truth
in the STORY whatever. In the reckless
ness Of his joy he bought quarter of the
best American mixed
During the past week or so many of our
citizens have had occasion to believe that
the Central telephone office is thoroughly
demoralized, but very few of them knew,
perhaps, that it Is all owing to the fight
between George 4. Perkins and CIeye-
land for the Mayoralty. Commissioner
Ronlaine's office, where the testimony is
being taken, is directly opposite the Cen
tral Office, and whenever the benevolent
features of afr. McMasters or the Byronic
brow of Mr. Record is seen at one of the
Commissioners windows the young
ladies of the Central office are thrown
into a state of things from which whole
hour of Hello Centrais' will not extri-
cate them. It is said that this state of
affairs has been brought TO the attention
of the Commissioner and the examine
ton will proceed this week with pulled
down shades.
Speculation Is rife as to the precise
amount Phil Muldoon pays "ChoIly1 to
advertise" his bang -up" cigars
Johnny Brennan som etimes uses DOM
inc disguise.
The promotion of Michael Egan from
patrolman to detective gives universal
satisfaction throughout the Police De-
par1Hent
lynx eyes fastened upon the work of con-
struction of the new Police Headquarters
building.
Some wag recently asked Denton g.
Shaw to allow him peep at the white
elephant lie referred to GugRenheiDler' 5
twe-headed bull, which was attached for
the rent OF dime museum on Newark
ayeniie and lodged with the amiable hv-
cry stable proprietors at single price for
feed.
Very little talk is now heard of any
thing else at the 'Razzle- Dazzle" but the
proposed excursion of the Enoch J. Smith
Association mp the Sound next Septem-
Der appropos Of which the .ancient
mariner sometimes iptersperses the
games 'sbinochle" with naughty cal
stories in anticipation thereof. Many
prominent members are already making
preparations for the great event, whic h
promises TO eclipse any ever brought
about by the popular association.
The fing that floats over the new Police
Headquarter Building looks as though it
had withstOod the ravageS of several
cyclones and then used for wadding a
cannon for the recent Fourth of July
celebration.
President Charles B. Thurston, of the
Jersey City and Bergen Railway Com
pany, every morning brings downtown
a spray of the honeysuckles that bloom
| in such profusfon about the piazza OF his
pretty residence on the hill
One who closely watches the proceed
ings of the Board of Aldermen from the
| lobby standpoint remarks that Alderman
| Salinger is 1.-THE most independent euss
that ever graced desk in the Aldermanic
| Chamber This is not very compliment
| tary to the Aldermen in general; but
| there are others who side with the critic
| of the lobby, who perhaps would ciothe
| the expression with more elegant phrase
| ology.
| The only safe man in the vicinity Of
| Phil Muldoon's cigar store Friday night
| was PhiI's wooden Indian.
| Captain Farrier, of the First police pre-
cinct, assisted in celebrating the Fourth
| by firing blank cartridges from his Office
window Mt the old iron safe propped ur
| in front of Police Headquarters. But
| then the captain was firing at a safe dis
| lance.
| Street Contractor Byrnes should have
| an extra appropriation for cleaning waste
| paper from the streets. Some thorough
| fares are literally Uttered with paper
shells of the fireworks set off Friday.
| HARSIMUS RED LIGHTS.
| Major Charles hollywood, the PavoniG
| avenue hardwood merchant, who is Brig
| adler General Steele's efficient quarter
master. is one of the best latured and
most popular militiamen in the State
| The major began his career in the OLD