The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1890-08-20
DURST0N'S BURGLAR.
He Telephoned for an officer to
Arrest Himself, but Went
Scot Free.

Richard Durston, bachelor, had always
been afraid of burglars and susceptible
of old maids. He could not remember
the time when the dread of being robbed
or sued for breach Of promise was not
upon him. In other respects he was
quite courageous. He never seemed to
feel nervous about dogs, lightning OF
fire. He even dared to do right now
and then. On the whole he was as
plucky as the average man, in spite OF
his conviction that the time would come
when he would have trouble with a bur-
glar and a suit at law with an old maid.
Durston, as you know, lives in a hand
some house on an uptown cross street.
He has always held that the majority Of
burglaries are effected through the
~treachery of servants. He has, there
fore, kept bachelors hall for many years
with the aid of only one assistant-an
old man kind Of heirloom in his
family. AS he generally dimes at his
club he has managed to live very com
fortably without keeping q boarding
house for men and women who might
be in league with robbers. His aged
housekeeper Is not ambitious. He feels
confident that she will sue him fol
breach Of promise o permit q burglar
to make a breach in the house.
Durston's library and bedroom are on
the second floor. The old woman sleeps
in q back room on the floor above. She
is very deaf, so when Durston wishes to
call her lie touches a button at the head
of his bed. This sends a mild electric
current through the reclining form Of
the housekeeper upstairs. She approves
OF this process in the belief that it tends
to hold her rheumatism in check. 1t
seems a very shocking way to treat an
old woman, however. And then Durston
must find it unpleasant to discharge a
servant two or three times a day.
But a nos burglar. One
night last winter Durston reached home
rather earlier than usual. AS was his
custom, he examined the doors and win
dows in the lower part of the house and
then went to the library. He found his
smoking jacket and slippers in their nc
customed place. A wood fire was crack
ling in the CRATE, and a decanter Of
whisky and q box Of cigars tempted him
from the center table. Durston smiled
c~ontentedly as he drew an easy chair to-
ward the fire. Life was very pleasant to
him. He was one OF. those happy bach
elors who have no regrets. Not that
Durston lacked sentiment. Far from it.
In fact he was not at all what the world
calls a practical man.
No, Durston was inclined to look at
the romantic side of life, and as he
smoked a perfecto and slipped his whisky
and settler in front of the blaze that
night he INDUCED in imaginings that
would have shocked the hard headed
housekeeper upstairs worse than did her
private electric current the day the bat
terry was overcharged.
Durston had for the moment forgotten
all about old maids and burglars. He
was in q condition of bodily and mental
repose that drove into outer darkness all
the unpleasant things of life. Finally
the conviction came upon him slowly
that it was time to go to bed. H. fought
hard against the proposition, but there
was nc escape for him. Looking at his
watch he found that it was long after ]
o'clock. Turning out the lights in the
library he entered his bedroom. He waa
still in q state Of sleepy contentment.
just as he was about to put out the gas
he was startled by a slight noise that
seemed to come from the cellar. He lis.
tened intently. Five minutes passed, but
there were nofurther sounds from below.
Durston surrounded himself by perfect
darkness and crawled into bed. But he
could not sleep. That unlucky noise had
rendered him feyerlsh. The thought OF
burglars had destroyed his serenity OF
mind. His revolver lay on a chair by
the bedside and he kept his hand on Il
for some time. The weapon seemed to
whisper to him: "Peace, Durston; go to
sleep, my child. will not go off until
the burglar comes"
This assurance on the part Of the PTS
toll quieted Durston somewhat and he
was beginning to feel very sleepy again
when he heard a light step on the stairs.
There was no mistake about it. After
keeping sullenly aloof for years Dur
ston's burglar had come at last. AT frs,
our bachelor felt a cold chill creeping
up his spinal column. Then, a the
burglar carefully stole through the hal
and entered the library, Durston wa
astonished to realize that he was 1yine
in bed with a pistol in his hand, a hous
breaker in the next room, and that hs
was beginning to enjoy the adventure
The thought flashed through his mind
that ever a breach Of promise case NIGH
not be as horrible as he had Unsigned.
'The reckless fellow seems to thini
that there's nobody in the house,
chuclled Durston as he heard his visitor
light q burner in the library. Then quiz
city getting out Of bed and stepping
gently to the door of his bedroom Dur
ston pointed the revolver at q small,
dark, rather well dressed man who stood
in the center of the library looking about
him eagerly.
"Put up your hands or I'll send a bali
through YOU" cried Durston sternly.
The dapper little burglar saw at a
glance that his game was up.
Don't do anything rash, he remarked
calmly, helping himself to a stiff dose Of
Durston's whisky and then lighting one