Morning journal and courier., 1890-01-23
man Overheard!
 rFrop, fLa Aotoriou1

On board steamboat the other evening | strange thing occurred, which teaches 6 val uable lesson. shy young man decided to abandon venerable pair of trousers to their fate, having just secured Q new pair as he went on the boat. So he said to himself: sI will just drop them out of my cabin window into the remorssless tide. and all will be buried in sigreat, calm bosom of the old Columbia" He;,rolled them up care- fully and shied them far, far out over the gunwale of the boat near She bow. As they sped through the air they unfurled with 2 soul-piercing plunk. They filled with air and looked, as they struck on the crest of the waves, like man looking over to peer down into the depths of the tide. A nervous woman rabout midshirs heard the impact of the abandoned trousers, and looking down with g. shudder,, said: "Me Gawd, human being haE went to his &C., l count" Shethen became the author of 8 loud yell, and all hands rushed to the guards with the cry of "Man overboard!" that aw ! full cry which once heard can never be for- 1 gotten.
 A hundred hands ran to the lower decks, and amid the cries of women and the quick drawn breath of pale men, tall roustabout l jabbed the drowning man in the vitals with a jabber, and while fainting passengers 1 looked the other way, he pulled out the now l collapsed trousers and found on the inside of l the waistband the name of the owner, also | the leg and waist measurement, together with the name of an Astoria tailor. Then they began to hunt over the boat and in the dregs of the river for the man who had occupied the trousers aforetime, and that shy young mans name was in every mouth, and he didn't dare to come down for his breakfast, and his jet black mustache, which could be distinctly seen when he left, from very fright turned around and went back again.
 1 He Wonss Try It Again Very Soon. l From the Chicago Tribune.l l The man who gets Respondent and then bothers all his friends by telling them that he has nothing to live for, and believes that he will commit suicide, is the worst kind of 8 bore. There used to be one of them who went to Alderman Arthur Dixon with these tales, and Dixon got tired of it.
 "I'll knock that business out of him." he said.
 The pext time the man came around il was after spree and he was clear in the l depths
 'rm of no use to myself or any one else, , he said.
 "Thats right" said Dixon.
 sI think I'll just end my hfe," said the man.
 .'Beat thing you could do." said Dixon "Come with me-"
 He got him in his buggy and drove him te the river. It was winter and the ice was pretty thick.
 "But there's hole right out near the mid dle here." said Dixon. 'tWait till I get the hitchinp etrapn
 "What for?" asked the man.
 "To tic around young neck," replied Dix. on. 'I don't want to lose your body. Your family will want it."
 "But the waters cold"
 ''What matter? You won't catch cold"
 The man looked at Dixon responsibility as the latter got the strap out of the buggy Then he said:
 | "Arthur, would you stand by and see me drowns"
 "Certainly," replied Arthur. "rd dc anything to oblige friend"
 ''Well, if you're so alfred mean as thai I'll be hanged if I'll kill myself"
 He was cured. He never threatened sui eide again.