The Washington critic. (Washington City, D.C.) 1890-1890, 1890-02-16
HINTS In LOVE-MAKING.
WHAT IS WORTH HAVING is WORTH
ASKING FOR,
woman Loves Courage, but Not Iiru-
tality-She Must he Wooed Before
She IL Wou-One Kisses and one
Holds In the Cheek,


She Is wou-One Kisses and one
Holds Up the Cheek,
A dear friend Of mine has given to
the world her ideas Of how woman
should be wooed, and especially how
proposals should be made, and although
she has at many points hit the nail
square upon the head there are others
where my theories, for of course we are
both OF us simply thcorizing, differ from
hers, and feel impcllcd TO put those
differences upon record.
In the first place, it seems to me that
The love affairs of any given couple are
their own affairs puT Il &mplc, for al.
though ii Is quite true that every
marriage, like a stone thrown into
placid lake, produces ripples of almost
infinite continuance, finally etching a
line OF more or less Importance upon
the shores of Time, we must grant that
these matters are absolutely beyond the
control Of any but the two parties con.
cerned. In other days and other lands,
to be sire, "stern parents aud guar
dams did both prevent and enforce mar.
riages, but | fancy it would be rather a
hard matter 10 do so in "emanCipated"
America or liberal England in this day.
So although the marriages of other
people may interest and even affect us
very decidedly, we may as well agree
that they are not our business, nor run
the risk of pinchiug orr fingers by
thrusting them into the machine
Yes, we all begin life by dreaming
of some impossible hero OF romance,
and all are rather disillusioned by our
first experience.
think my own first ideal was of
Spanish cavalier, a sort Of compound
of the Cid and Ponce de Leon, both of
whom figured largely in the course of
severe study in which my early years
were passed under my fathers eye.
But Cids and Ponce dc Icons do not
meet one at every corner, and when at
a very early age / received bona tide
offer / was so wrapped up in trying to
harmonic the fact with my own
theories that | accepted the offer with
hardly thought of what | was doing.
And am afraid the experiences of
life do not, and will not, correct the
child's establishment at the disparity OF
real and ideal--in fact, have rather
come to the conclusion that no woman
loves the actual man she accepts and
perhaps marries, but She may 20 on in
perfect content and security, loving an
ideal to which she has given his name,
and If the lover has enough of the ser
penis wisdom, and she of the innocence
of the dove, the happy illusion may
last TO the end of their lives. But my
especial bill of advice to men under such
circumstances would be--keep up the
illusion.
Titania falls in love with Nick Bottom.
dressed in the ASS hide, and if Nick
will hold his tongue and simply look
devotion into her adoring eyes, all may
go well, but generally speaking Nick
tries to intensity the charm of his vel
vet ears by speech, and as the nature of
an ass is TO bray, Titania is disillusioned.
Now / don't mean that all men are
asses-far from it-but do mean that
almost no man is as high, as wide, as
deep, as astute rs the woman who loves
him thinks he is, and his business is
simply to never let her reach his limita
tons. lie can't possibly reach her
ideal of him, but let him artfully veil the
point where he stops short.
Then as for the Sabine mode of
courtship. do not think ii would be
generally acceptable. am quite sure,
for enc, that should be far more an
Ioyed than gratified in being swooped
up by any rough-rider who came along
| and "woOed and married and n" be-
foleI knew how my captor looked
| think the Sabine maidons nowadays
must be of the same class who used,
n oil l,n al ot1 10 .ri,1 l.
oil to the highest bidder, to be put up
in the market place, each labeled with
the amount Of dowry the State would
bestow upon him who would take her
away. Most of us prefer to be wooed
before we are won, and although q Ger
tain amount of boldness and confidence
are highly conducive to the success of
a wooer, an excess of these qualities is
fatal to his hopes.
A good and charitable man. almost a
stranger TO me, recently wrote telling
| me that he gave me the privilege" OF
| performing certain work and demand
ing heavy check as beginning. That
man failed in his effort through at
tempting the Sabine mode of wooing
my Cassette, and a man who followed
| the same tactics in another sort of WOO,
| ing would also fail. A woman who re
| spccts herself does SO in love as well as
in business, and carries out in every de
| partment of life the good old adage
| Whats worth having is worth asking
| for
What woman does want and, II
| fact, demands of q man, is courage: bu
| courage is the head of the stick Of
which brutality is the fcrrule, and ;
| woman's dainty hands never wish tC
grasp the dirty end of anything. A
brave man is not daupt cd by his lady:
frown If he does not deserve ii. and he
sweeps aside her little atfectations and
prctenses as he does the train of heI
gown II he wishes TO sit down beside
her; but as he can move across the room
among fifty trains and never step OF
one of them or crush the most fragile
fabric of n dancing costume, so he vii
not wound, or crush or startle thu
smallest of those little feminine de
lenses, and even while proceeding il
calm assurance to conquest. will nevel
abandon the role of Difference and 10y
atty.
The iron hand loses all its opportu.
nifty with most of us if il casts asidt
the velvet glove, and although velve
without iron is contemplate, iron with
out velvet is repulsive and offensive.
We claim ours as an Age of Progress
and even many of us believe in Eyolu
ton; let us, then, carry our beliefs int
practice in this matter of love. making
The tiger woos his mate by terrif
growl and cuff over the ears with hi
mighty paw-he terriies her into sub
missiveness, and certain savage loyalt!
in her nature responds TO his savag
wooing, and she remains his faithful
wife for life.
| But the tiper is a hrntc