St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-11-17
THE DIMPLED DARLINGs.

IhE UNIFIED DARIIlNGS.
"Did you press your suit last evening
when you called on Miss Bellows??''
Herald.
Elderly Snltor-I have spoken to your
mother, Helen, and Helen-Oh, Pm
so glad. Did she accept you?-Spare
Moments,
He (pleading-"Do not say me nav,
my love-" She (codly)-"Well, perhaps
you would understand bray better."-
New York Herald.
Probably one reason why woman's
sins are never forgiven is that she never
claims that She was drunk when they
were ommitted.-Atchison Globe.
Husband-"For heavens sake, what
is the matter?' Wife Cropping desper-
ately under the bed)-'I have lost my
coliar-button." -Binghamton Republi-
can.
Rose De Mascus- and for all,
must be plain with you Maud st.
Agedore-Yes, l know you must; you
could not change your looks if you
wanted to.-St. Joseph News.
Miss Stuckuppe has some very rare
flowers in her conservatory. That is her
hobby!' "H'm! Any one could tell
that she was a haughtyculturist from
her manner!' -BostOn Traveller.
Uncle George, who was full of
brusquerle and humOr, was delegated to
give the bride away. So he stood up be-
tore the vast congregation and an
nounced her age as thirty-two.-Bing-
hampton Leader.
Mrs. Bunting-The Arabs have a ira
dltlon that Eve was 200 feet tall. Bunt-
lng-Stlll she didn't come as high as
modern women. There were no mill
inery stores in those days.-New York
Sun,
Doctor Ito patienD-May venture,
madam. to ask your age? 'Don't YOU
know, sir, that a woman is only as old
| as she looks to be?" "impossible-vou
| must be younger. "--Fliegende Batter.
The autumn girls dainty little creature,
| All that Is de rlgueur seems to be hers.
| She has, indeed. but one unpleasant feature.
And that's the smell of CAM or on her furs
New York Herald.
She - But how can you think Pm
pretty when my nose turns uD so dreau-
fully? He-Well, all l have to say is
that 1t shows mighty poor taste in back
ing away from such lovely mouth
Spare Moments.
She-,Every woman is more or less of
a mind reader. He-Do you think YOU
could read mine? She-rd rather not.
Mamma is little particular as to the
character OF my Observation-Disclosures
| Journal.
"A rosy wreath for thee I'll twine,"
he quoted gallantly; but she was
| practical girl who meant business. and
she said if it was binding Irvine it was
all right. They were bound together
shortly after by the parson.-Texas
| Siftings.
First Little Boy-"My pas a Free Will
BBaptlst; what's yours?' Second Little
Boy--'Mine says he's Free Thinker,
but l doubt it.'' why sop, 81 know
it because he has to think about as ma
| says. Mas boss in our house. Texas
| Siftings.
Johnson--"Does your amateur dra-
| matte company seem to be developing
any histrionic taIent?' Thompson
"Oh. yes. The leading lady, her un-
derstudy. and one of the soubrettes
have applied for divorces already."-
indianapolis Journal.
! Artist.Yon say you want your por-
trait painted? Miss Elderly-Yes; |
would like to have it lifesze. Artist
All right: and now one more question
| winch do you prefer, good likeness or
handsome. You can't have both. -
Texas Siftings. rs
| Mr.. Grumps,-I DON'T see how it is
those Mormon women could be content
| ed with only half husband. Mrs.
| GrumpS-A woman with half husband
has only half as much trouble as
woman with whole husband. That's
why.-New York Weekly.
Indignant Maiden-"Sir, if YOU at
tempt to kiss me I'll call my mother
| Independent Young Man-%If you call
your mother I'll kiss her, too" Maiden
| (nO longer indignant)-''Y0uw will, Ell?
| Well, don't you think we can get along
| without her?"-Texas Siftings.
Father II am very much afraid our
daughter will elOpe with that young
rascal" Mother-"NO danger. | re-
minded her last evening that girls who
eloped got no wedding presents, and l
feel sure that my words sunk deep into
her heart. New York Weekly.
Young Wife Saying an affectionate
goodbye to her husband)-"Now, dar-
ling, you can't enjoy a moment while
you are gone, can you, dearest?"
George (otf for few days yachting
''Well, m'dear, | can't tell a ]ie.n
Young Wife-"O, darling. please do!n
-Harper's Bazaar.
"Dear Mr.. Hicks" she wrote, 81 am
sorry that what you ask cannot grant.
cannot become your wife. Youls sim
cerely, Ethel Barrows." Then she
added. ''P. Son second thoughts,
uCdi OtOISc. l. tiliIik L Will marry YOU,
Do come up tonight and see your own
true Ethel. New York Herald.
He said my eyes were diamonds
bright, my cheeks like jacqueminots.
my neck and brow as fair and white
as winters purest SHOWS. He swore
my hair was like the gold that tints the
sunset skies, my chin was cast in Gu
pid's mold-and truth seemed in his
eyes. My smile was like the newborn
day, my teeth twin rows of pearl, and
after that he went away to see another
girl.-Cape Cod Item.
TELL me, dearest Emma, will you be
mine?" Twill you always let me have
my own way?" always, dearest.'
And my mother may live with us?''
"Willingly." land not ask for latch
key?" Il would rather throw it in the
sea-" Sand give up your club and al
ways be at home to dinner?' Always.
and on the minute" Then you must
excuse me, but you are not at all the
sort of man should wish for hus-
band. "-Fliegende Blatter.
MORNING AND EVENING.
Hair loose, unpowdered, slippers down at
heel;
A dress, 'twould knock wash-tub into fits.
Uneasy, fighting. tramping on the cat
Scarce fairy-like around the house She fits
All angel-like, a sylph in form and face,
She stood there waiting as her lover Came
Soft tongue, soft eyes, all beauty, grace, an
love.
You wouldn't think it, but she is the same
Philadelphia Times