Telegram-herald., 1890-12-07

II libSN PRISON.
sleeves are made long, - as % obviate
t-e necessity Tor mittens, and should
have been rolled up before the picture
WAS taken The trousers are made full
al the hips and g0red. evidently for an
kug.lshman, while the bosom Of the coat
is Gaccid ani prehens.ls
la the picture Gen. Harrison wears his
brir long and ms whisksrs strive IN vain
o. look warlike. The picture does not
inspire one with awe. Many 80 % lock
a. it because it Is said 70 be his only pho
tograph IN uniform. But few are awed
by H. Many hundred 90 away appar-
entity pleased about something II
were Gen Harrison l would buy it at an
early date and conceal il. would not
mind the price
s. @ c.. Dallas. Tex, writes: II see
thar you are advertised 10 lecture IN sew
eral Texas titles this season. Is il true
that you are TO DO here this season."
No. e is not true; at least, think not.
After the reunion and camp fire of the
men who think they are managing me
OF course I can tell better. One man es-
pecially is quite obnoxious to me in this
way He makes engagements for me
and then consults me about it afterward
RE made a triunPhal tour for me again
tins year before saying anything to me
about it. and when | refused TO go be
wrote the committees that was danger
ously ill., The letters are now coming
In on every mail inquiring about it.
THIS party las every year asked me If be
might join the joyful multitude Of men
VINO manage me. but l have annually re-
quested him 10 let my affairs alone. He
does not seem TO be able 10 control him
self. however; SO this year ne planned a
preliminary farewell tour and contracted
with quite a number of cities
Then be came bhthely TO me and asked
me 20 throw up my other engagements
and 20. hate % have these misunder-
standings. and would rather follow my
manager 70 his grave" than see him act
that way.
Mastodon. South Brooklyn, asks: "Can
I You not say a word against the dark
closets and clothes presses which infest
f this countryi They make me very hot
+ sometimes. On. VIII you not throw
light on the dark closet9 | cannot think
h Of anything more poignant than OF q
F nervous man in dark closet trying 70
find the key 70 the wine cellar in his
wifes other dress, when ne fears every
moment that she VIII return and dis
cover him
Yes. the unlighted and i'll ventilated
clothes closet IA most disagreeable
feature OF our modern civilization. and
feel like rising As one man 70 protest
against 10. Il Il not healthfuL Il Is not
convenient It IS not nice.
A friend Of mine the other day was
called hurriedly west. His wife packed
his griD FOR him. and hastily throwing
his overcast over bis arm be jumped into
a close carriage and lit out Az the train
sailed ont Of the depot friend on board
said.
Going 70 Chicagor'
eyes"
Expect 70 20 out good deal there,
/ rresumeg
"Ob. no. Going on business
"Ah, tbought you would probably
miugle in the giddy whirl good deal
whilst there
"Whv."
"WeI. see y0u hsvc your dress suit
+ oa vour arm.
Sure enough. he had thought he had
Lis satin incl ovsrcoat over his arm,
and was On ms way to Chicago with .
- "a .--a..l r. - = -. - a -
closet dislike this institution, And
hope TIE day is not far distant when All
AMI Ezhs win "a admitted 10 the clothes
closets n this country. 50 that poor
weak man viii not fnd himself Ia churcf
al evening serves wearing his wifel
cgochel tetaooat around MS neck
because BE- Is annoying 70 those who aTs
sensitive t3 rilicule.
Elan-vl1e. staten Idsnd. asks whs
vas tta sr'h7r q the popular poem
entitled 1ly Dads UndershirtT
The pcem was written by Willis b
Hswnns. Siren on The Chicago News
The Chicago News has 50 many beaua-
f1l aui tra'rv thir-s frnm Gene Fieldf
zen thas everything funny snd bright
chat unsigned IS art - - credited =
SIR Field. ert this poem ws written >
hawkins. It Wa. in lsrsef. = fanny De
scrir aer ~ low tse aannsl hr <erie II
F the ol8 gentleman gradually shrsak r
meet the demands ~ - slser sc1. ther
tha Second. ard - ~ siA ne hahy closed
- 1eaI
It vas -reiited - NJ F1s,d. ard his
CANNED mauufacturer vho bad the honos
~ srr-nkiuE as goods o~frrs they lef
tan factory. ssnt hin a bolt - bz7gh'
red faursl rot for - iesrinse value
but ss rscoeniooa of geaaine gsuia.
sn.i worth
Whene~sr Gene desired - nasks Hsw
kfns scs se woud pul up ass sleeve anJ
show him thp nlr- wsTu vrissaazsd q.
tls nasariaSable fsnness