Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-03-23

anon one OF Ine nelghoors came in anC
asked the Governor what was up. He al
lowed that he wasn't SO much elected as hs
had VOTED.
"Why, yes you be-" said the man.
The Governor pricked up his ears and be-
gan to look for the papers. He now discov.
cred that sure enough he was elected after
all; so, eating a cold doughnut and drinking
some non-elastic cider, he returned to the
barn. Administering Dover's powder and
little bismuth to the COW he once more
hitched up his drosky. while the COW looked
up into his eyes with an air of inquiry and
reproach, as who should say, "Governor,
how much OF this junketing business have
you got on hand?"
HE smote her across the nose pet:ishly
and said, "There, torment ye, can't ye never
SOP"
He became Governor but in a suiet way,
giving to the State cornstareh administra-
tion unmarked by recklessness or intestine
strife. He was the only temperance Gov
ernor, think, that New York ever had,
and that was the only way he has been the
author of a footprint on the sands of time.
The COW who assisted him during his calm
reign of oat meal and chastened monotony
has long since passed to her reward.
We should learn from the career OF Gov
ernor Clark to esteem, ever through life and
even beyond the confines Of time, where sor
row and distress and habits of industry can
never enter, those qualities of mind and
heart which, wherever found and whenever
came across, should, by one and all, be most
highly thought Of
HINTS ON TRAVELLING ETIQUETTE.
Estella B., Long Branch, N. j., asks for
few hints on travelling etiquette, as she is
shortly to assist i'll bridal tour to Califor-
MIA.
If you contemplate such tour, Estella.
you will do well TO weigh it well be iorahand
and consider your conduct carefully before
taking the fatal step. In the first place do
not wear new clothes while travelling, 1t is
foolish in the fest place, and besides, if YOU
are bride, as you will be doubtless if YOU
contemplate trip like this, you will not
wish to attract too much attention. Wear
the street gloves you have been wearing for
some time. aud tell Bartholomew to do the
same. If you and he decide to wear new
shoes, it would be well to soil the soles
little before you start out Even q sleeping
car porter Is not blind to these things, and
he tells the conductor; the conductor tells
the brakeman, and the brakeman is liable to
tell the Superintendento of the road.
Do not adopt the customary style o. rail-
way eating house devastation. If your
young llle ms Deen cursed by starvation,
try to conceal it en- route and tell Bartholo-
NEW also TO let his hunger, like tapeworm,
prey upon his inner works, rather than
drown the roar of the report by his loud
stentorious eating at 20 minute death trap.
Do not become absent minded at table. 1t
may attract attention. In Canada this win
ter saw an anxious man looking out the
door of the dining room nervously as ne
waited for his breakfast, and when he got
his toast he turned the slice over critically
to see if it had been properly indorsed before
he would take it. He also, when his cakes
were brought in, moistered his finger in his
fuger bowl and ran over the little pile of
pancakes twice to see that the amount was
correct. Iaiterward learned that the mans
name was silcott, formerly of Washington,
d. c.
MUST WAIT FOR THE LADIES
Tell Bartholomew that he must also look
up the manual OF good breeding, and not
follow lady upstairs or precede lady out
of room. II he should happen to hear
that lady at any time in the dim future
contemplates leaving the rooh, he must not