The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1890-09-04
ALL ABOUT THE DUCK.
They Arc Funny Creatures and Get Atoms
In Life without Brains.

Ed. Mott, the humorist, was wont ia
say that the funniest thing on earth i.
a frog. He is wrong. 1t can not beat
a duck young or old. A frog can do
certain things with its brains out. A
duck starts in life without brains and
does a wonderful lot of things. Like
a mule duck never dies. It has ia
be killed. A young duck gets the
gapes or cholera, but when tired OF
life looks at a wagon as the Hindoo
does at the Juggernaut and casts itself
under the wheels. This failing, it gets
horse to tread on it or asks hungry
hog to make a breakfast on its tender
body A duck don't know when to Law
OF when to stop. She casts her eggs
on chip pile at night when deep
sleep falleth upon man,
know two ducks that are having a
go-as-you-please match in laying and
the record now stands 100 eggs and
lap. They go down to the creek or
swamp every day, fill themselves with
tadpoles and young frogs and then
come back to lay an egg in aid of di-
gestlon. A duck will eat anything. I
saw one tackle an old gum shoe the
other day. 1t was half buried in the
mud. But the duck manfully or duck
ly, clutched it and when her bill
slipped, she fell back where she nat
urally would fall-on her tail-then
with heroic, determined "auack''
again tried conclusions with that shoe.
She got it at last and I tearfully went
away before she ate it.
can not complacently look upon
even duck suicide. But she did not
suicide worth a cent. AS matter Of
TACT there were three duck eggs found
next morning and only two ducks.
Moral-feed your ducks on an occa-
sional rubber shoe. The Young duck
comes out the egg with bold '.quack"
like all other ''quacks'' political and
professional. 1t is pretty we'll ball
anced on two legs, with the remnant
OF weight in the tail. If it falls back
ward and gets on its backbone, it can't
turn over. So the careful housewife
always bangs a young ducks tail. This
evens things, and if the duck falls at all,
it is likely to 60 in the direction of its
brainless head and gets up again.
A young duck is lively and curious.
Its first instinct is to run and its Sec
end to see if it can 60 through a stone
wall. If you put them into pen their
first exploit is to try to walk up the
side, only to roll back. If they get to
the top, they roll down the other side
and then look around with a scared
look as if they thought the universe was
bad job. They haven't sense enough
to go in out of the rain, but stand with
their bills up like young BIZ DIS; expect
ing a cloud or water spout to drop
therein. They early learn to disregard
the fifth commandment
It is true they have no father to re-
spect, and incompatability of temper
and instinct renders it difficult to honor
their foster mother-the chicken hen.
Like great many men, the latter tries
to force her faith and creed upon 9TH
ers, and bring up her brood in the
scratching, gaping ways of all good
chickens. The ducks are Baptists and
won't have it that way, and so take to
the water. Then there is weeping.
wailing and crashing of hen teeth, as
that mother thinks her children have
Left the shore touched by that mysteri-
Gus pond which never vet has borne
on any ripple the shadow of home
ward duck Or chicken tail. That hen
goes sadly. home murmuring: .Eph-
RAIN is Joined to the idols-let him
alone"
The young ducks then learn to play
euchre and go it alone" every time.
In their dumb, stupid, quackin wav,
they go through the world like other
".quacks'-grow big and fat. They
live funny life and die in tragedy.
But alive or dead, he has my most
profound respect and considerations