The sun., 1890-01-05
Courtshlp as a Check to Marriage.

A Iady eminent in American letters and
believed to be matron of experience, who
sians her name "ELIZABETH STUART
PHELPS" to magazine article Is one OF
symposium for the discussion Of divorce in
the January North American. Divorce, Miss
PHELPS thinks, Is the surgery OF marriage,
and she doesn't condemn 1t as q last desper-
ate resort. Well never get rid Of it. she
thinks, while we are allowed to marry as we
do. "As our laws stare us In the face" Miss
PHELPS says, ,Sthere is no man so abnormaly
bad that he may not marry the very incest
woman who will have him; and
there is no woman 30 "enfeebled
in body and mind by corsets or chic
raj" and none otherwise 30 Objectionable
as not to be allowed to become the wife OF the
best OF men. If he is willing and she wants him.
and "the mother OF his doomed children
Felons may marry and beget felons; paupers
may marry and breed paupers; foreign chaps
with titles may marry pure, and even rich.
American girls; men may marry housekeep-
ers, and womensmay marry men who prom
ise to be good providers There Is no law,
not even an unwritten law, Miss PHELPS
complains, "that prevents man and woman
who do not love each other supremely, un-
selfishly, permanently, and we might almost
say divinely, from daring to take upon them
selves the sacred marriage yow." % - ~
Well no! Happily there isn't. II there
was. Miss PHELPS can possibly tell US where
the State might look for parents for its ris-
ing generation. Never having tried mar
rage under conditions that fell short Of per-
fection, Miss PHELPS does not appreciate
that even such a marriage may be better
than none. The State knows 1t, however,
and Is careful not to throw any unnecessary
obstacles in the way Of persons who have
got themselves up to the marrying point.
The State knows, what Miss PHELPS
seems entirely to overlook, that that
is mighty difficult point to reach,
and 1t does not propose to let the time
and pains of persons who have attained it
be wasted. That is one reason why him
ORANGES to marriage are 80 contrary to the
spirit OF the common law. If Miss PHELPS
should seek State aid to realize her high
ideal of fit preventives to matrimony, she
must reflect before framing her bill that the
country is full of married people who love
each other with the inconstancyof imperfect
natures, but who would rather love imper-
fectly than not at all; who would rather be
married than not; and who, on the whole,
would rather be married to their present
spouses than be at the immense trouble and
expense Of trying new ones with doubtful
consequences.
In her forcible remarks about the lack OF
hindrances whichh should prevent people
from making bad marriages, Miss PHELPS
seems entirely to forget that there Is such a
thing as courtship. She speaks as though
any bad man might drag any good woman
to church and marry her out Of hand. But,
In fact, to get woman to stand up before
priest with him Is one OF the most compli-
Gated transactions that civilized man under
takes; and to lead coy andsuncertain male
to the altar Is perhaps fthe most difficult
triumph of q modern woman. There may
be lack of unwritten law to pre-
vent people who do not love one
another "almosts divinely" from getting
married; but there is no lack OF literature
that points that way. 1t seems safe state
ment that of every five books that are sold
to the American people the chief end and in
terest and excuse Of two attaches to the
demonstration they contain oft the uncer-
tainties of the great art OF courtship. A
process in which such boundless interest Is
taken, and In which such interminable In
struction Is. necessaryImust be pretty
serious business. and worthy OF a much
higher consideration than Miss PHELPS has
yet given 1t. at least in any published essay.
The fact is that the reason why we are al
lowed such license Jas we still Eenjoy about
getting married is that the difficulties are
already SO great that II it were made any
harder for US, we could not get married at
all. 1t may be different in New England.
where. We believe, Miss PHELPS resides. but
in the great State OF New York women are
held in such esteem, and there is such a
demand for. themithat,it requires sleepless
enterprise in our young men to discover
satisfactory partners and appropriate them.
II 1t was made more difficult, 1t would kill |
divorce. Miss PHELPS is right there. but |
marriage would be killed first. Miss PHELPS
should make study OF modern courtship. |
We think she will find 1t a more effectual !
preventive than she has suspected.