Morning journal and courier., 1890-04-24
PROPER. .

A Texas debating society recently had for a subject: ''Is it proper to sound the in dorgF'-Texas Siftings.
 His Lordship-'There, you've broken the mirror! hate to sec fool around!" Irish Valet-"That's why broke it, sor!"-Chica- go Times.
 He-''I've great mind to kiss you" She eff you do, I'll ringi" He-"Oh, please" She-"To have James tell mamma that Pm very busy and must not be disturbed."- Chatter.
 Crushed-D'Horsey (9s).-'That off horse seems to interfere little, don't heg" Car- driver (deoisively)-"aue he don't inter. fere with no one but himself. Harvard Lampoon.
 "I is-" began Tommy, when his teacher interrupted him. "That is wrong; you should say T am.'" "AI right" said Tommy. "I
 am the ninth letter in the alphabet. ."-Har- per's Bazar.
 Count Pinohbeck-Your father is politi- | cal reformer, Miss Rexi Miss Rox-Yes, l nothing but an honest count will suit him. Count Pinchbeck-Then wish you . very good morning. Dispatch. Landlord-"Low rent, splendid locality | and all the modern improvements Flat
 hunter-"Very good. Let me see, are there l any children in the houses" Landlord (irrit-
 
 but modern improvements" s."-American Gro- cer.
 At the Academy.-Fair enthusiast | "What dear little picture; it is just too 1 sweet for anything! Can you make out the
 name of the artist, Mir. Cadmium. It looks like 'Oehre'" Cadmium (recognizing picture
 by rival)-"Humph! Mediocre, I guess. " l-American Grocer.
 Cloying Revengs.-Bank teller lon his way lhoms)-"Pardon me, sir, here's my card. I've left my change in another coat. Will yon kindly loan me nickel for my fare?" Solid citizen (who remembers 8 reoeut hag- | gle at the teller's window)-sWhere's your | Identification! That card is no good."- Puck.
 "What do you want9" asked the lady of
 the house sharply, as she opened the door in
 response to a ring. "I'm @ taxidermist,
 madam, and I called to-" s'Well, we pay
 our taxes when they're due, and no sooner, go you can skipl" and the door was banged like the forehead of girl fresh from school | Texas Siftings.
 Home Duties-Mrs. Gabb Crushing in)-
 "Oh, Mrs. Gadd, why did you leave Silk & Go. g bargain store go earlyt They have just opened beautiful bankrupt stock of rib bons. Come right back quick" Mrs. Gadd | With powerful effort at self-controD D-"I | cannot. Indeed cannot; I must help my
 husband to get dinner" ."-New York Weekly.
 "Wait a moment outside, Maria; I've got
 to stop in here." "You ought to have more
 regard for appearances, John. than to stop at
 a drug store on the way tn church." (Fiercs- lyG"It isn't a question of appearances,
 Maria, it's a question of economy. I've got
 to buy cigar or two and get some small change, or else throw this twenty-five cent piece in the contribution box. Do you think
 I'm Jay GouldF-Chicsgo Tribune. Parishioner, troubled with doubts-"Mr.
 Honey man, I should like to hear you preach
 a sermon next Sunday or tho Sunday follow ing on 'How to Become Christian Is Salvation NecesEaryf or some such topic J
 Popular Clergyman, (refectively) )-"Let me
 sec. Next Sunday morning and evening l
 expect to preach on Economic Problems,
 and Influence of Egyptian Art on Modern
 Civilization My subjects for several suc-
 oessive disoourses in regular order will be
 'The Illusions of Philosophy Relative I'm portance of Dogmatism and Science,' Are
 Secret Societies CommendableP 'Bellamyis
 and Are We Not Sporting NationW ]
 don't think I can get around to it, Mr. Brownson. for a month or two yet.".Chi. caso Tribune.