The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1890-12-10
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Castles in the air do not bring in any
rent Galoeston NeCs.
You can easily fill the public eye if you
only have the dust.-Ne,o York. No'os.
She-"He talks like book" He
"What a pity he doesn't shut up as
easily. Life.
Clever tact will win in business, and
clever tacl1ing will win a yacht race
PittsJurg Dispatch.
They I'll our daily cup with gall
AS through the world we go,
These two The man who knows it all
And he who told you So"
A level surface is fiat, yet there is a
distinction between level-headed man
aud fiat. headed one. .--PittsJurg Chr0n-
icle.
A dead man is given more charity than
he can make use of; a living man isn't
given as much as he deserves. -AtchisoR
Globe.
"This is the worst snap I ever struck"
remarked the woodchuck when he got
caught in a steel trap. .-Bnghamt0a Re-
publican.
Goslin-"I just gave him piece of
my mind, doucherknow." Dolly (anX-
iously)-"How could you spare it!'-
Munsey's Weekly.
she-"I hope you do not remain in
the parlor when your sister receives her
fiance" He-"No; cause I'm afraid Of
the dark. ."-Lite.
Shelf you attempt to kiss me I'll
call mamma" He--"What would happen
then9" She-"Oh, nothing, for mamma
isn't at home. - Chicago Post.
The iceman now doth count with glee
The gold of summers winning;
The coal man. too exults; for he
Will now enjoy an inning.
---MmseJs WeeklN
We all want the elevator to wait for
us, but when we are in VIC don't like to
see it kept waiting any longer for any
body else.--SomerUiNe journal.
"Uncle Jacobs, aren't you ashamed to
be seen here so oftenp claws, y
Honah, dis place am respectable ter some
places where am seen. ."-R1cbet
Snively-"Have you ever sailed in
birch canoel" Snodgrass-''No my only
experience with the birch was when was
padded with it. it."-MmSey's Weekly.
'Irreverent9 Yes, indeed Why, if
it were possible, it would be just like
hin to sit around and munich peanuts at
his own funeral. '-adiaHapolis Journal.
Laugh and the world laughs with you,
Weep and you weep alone;
Fail, and the world laughs at YOU
DON'T and it's all your own,
IWaSlinqton Star
"Whatis the difference, papa, between
tour and a junket!" "a number of
our own party makes tour. A junket
is the trip of a number Of the opposition"
--Ne,O York. Herald.
"What uncleanly people they seem to
be out West, " said Mrs. De Lite, of Bos-
ton; "here is a case of a man starting in
to clean out a town, and they actually
shot him. st. Joseph NeOS,
"And oh, Uncle Silas, | had such
lovely time last summer. Four other
Vassar girls and myself took a tramp
through the Catslills." "Um-m-ml
But do you believe, Elizabeth, that the
tramp enjoyed ltl"
"And does that please you, Mrs.
Brown, that your husband calls you
Xantippe in public" "Oh, / don't
grudge him the little pleasure of trying
to make the world believe that he Is a
Socrates. ."-Fliegepde Blaetter.
Watts-''Now, if l understand cor
rectly, the first principle of socialism is
to divide with your brother mau." Potts
--"Then you don't understand 1t correct-
ly. The first principle of socialism is to
make your brother divide with you. ~
Indianapolis Journal.
Teacher-"Explain tho difference be-
tween law and custom Boy (who
owns a sailboat) -"Accordin' to law, a
steamboat must give the right of way to
sailboat, but cording to custom the
saiboat has got ter make tracks or get
smashed. ."-G00d Ne,cs.
81 tell YOU, Mr.. jerks is a nice man."
"SOW eyes. / talked to him over an
hour, and he agreed to everything l said,
and never interrupted me but once, and
that was to say that there was a bug on
my dress collar, and even then he apollo
gized. ."-DmsUiIe Breeze.
A Reckless Promise. -"Wife (who is
going to the country)-"WiA you come
to see me next Sundayp Husband
"Why, of course. I'll speed to you on
the wings of Lowell" Wife-''You come
then on the express train2" Husband
"Oh, no; the slow local train will suit
me well Hiegsads Blastter.
"These barbed wire fences amt no
good said the farm hand al wouldn't
have one of 'em around the place if
had my way" "Why not!" inquired
the stranger They're cheap and
strong ami keep cattle in better than
anything else" " "That may be, re-
piled the farm hand "but then feller
SAINT sit down on 'em, ~ ChicIg0 Ligtt.