The Hot Springs star. (Hot Spings [Hot Springs], Dakota [Dakota Territory, i.e. S.D.]) 1886-189?, 1890-10-31
SUCCESS IN MARRIAGE.
The Sensible Views OF an Ex.
. tremely Sensible Woman.
Something About the Secrets OF a Perfect
Home Life - Tho Science Of Govd
House keeplng-How to Bear the
Unpleasant Things OF Life.

Unpleasant Things OF Lie.
On the much mootcd question, tIs Mar
riage a Failure?" a lady writes to the Chica-
go Inter Ocean soms remarks SO sensible
that we can not but quote them for the
benefit Of our readers:
A woman makes q failure Of marriage
unless she makes an effort to do q great
deal more than is implied in her marriage
contract. 1t is supposed that the husband
supplies the material for the home, and
they are very raw materials indeed unless
the wife takes hold of those means with
the'hand of a-creator, building up out of
them helps and associations loved and
needed by both. And q woman must put
her soul into her house, or it is q hollow
and sounding shell.
AS high as we must rate the accomplish
ment of good housekeeping, it is not all in
the making of q home. know q lady who
was q marked failure as a h~ousekecper who
was the idol of her husband, and who
graduated to the world a family of accom-
plished and hOnored children. there are
women who in pain and weakness are con-
fined to their own rooms, yet who manage
to hold the power in al orderly house and
fill it full of lovc-light and happiness sufti-
ciert for the comfort Of all who cross its
threshold.
1t is the quality OF recognizing and filing
need that is the essential quality of success
in marriage. Practically, if a man comes
home from business with q headache, hun
cry for o bit of sympathy and love, and a
good lea of quiet, and finds his wife in a
raging excitement over OF elaborate dinner,
and Is ordered to keep out Of the way and
amuse the children till the great proceeding
is eliminated, he is about as unfortunate as
the man who brings q college friend home
\. a., sea- a..lr III. .: - -. --l
slippers deep in q French novel. But the
woman who spies the coming friend from
the window slides out Of her wrapper in q
twinkle and appears upon the scene in due
timc with q ~soul-cheering cup of French
coffee, is the woman who MAKES her hus-
band envied among men.
Unfortunately women have hobbies, and
ride II ride and never perceive that they
are boring their companions to death.
There are men who ouldgo to war to be rid
of paper flowers, hair flowers. rugs, tides
and what not; and there are men who think
art and music are inventions of the evil one
to make people miserable. Any one, any
where, who c%ultivates a hobby at tho ex-
pense of other peoples comfort is making o
failure Of life; but true politeness of the
heart between friend and friend, man and
wife, will obviate the danger OF. overdonc
amusements.
It is easier to forgive virtuous excess Of
zeal, and it is mostly excess of zeal for ex-
c~ellcnce Of some kind that causes some
women to be more exclusively housewives
than wives of men. The greatest charity
should be extended to q woman who makes
her house 30 perfect in detail and pol
ished III appearance that her friends gointo
it with fear and trembling, for she is ;lflict-
ed with a virtuous zeal, and has only over
a.o,,,. - ,,o~,, -o1l <1;,- fY,tanS.--
has its fanatics and martyrs Us well as any
other good cause.
But housekeeping conducted as q means
Of happiness n comfort, either in a cabin
or o palace, Is a science that no wife can
neglect II sue WISHES u SUSTAIN the law Of
mutual heipfulness in marriage.
A wife expects her husband upon mar
riage to begin a curse of toiling for her
support without remission or any suspen-
sion OF responsibility, aud why should he
not expect her to aspire to the greatest
excellence in home-makinga Just here is
where the wedge of dissolution frequently
enters. A woman fails to give as much as
she rcceives-that is, she works from COM
pulsion more than from a desire to keep up
her side OF the partnership with dignity
and grace.
But one says: 81 work all. the time: /
work like a slave" Yes, my dear, you do
work like q slave-just like a slave, n not
like q responsible being seeking an end and
not the means. You AVE braided little
Eva's dress up and down and ~allover, which
does not help little Eva, and your husband
would have appreciated you more had you
spent your evenings with folded hands and
happy face in your rocking-chair by his
side. You spend hours of time on unneces-
sary things and forget the essentials ofyour
partnership, which is to evolve as much
peace and comfort as possible out of your
materials.
The science OF good housekeeping In
these days, when we can buy so many con-
vcniences, Is not SO much superiority in
any one thing as o general excellence in
every thing. We do. not need cooking
schools for girls so much as schools where
all branches of home-making are taught, in
order to preserve the balance Of usefulness
in the girls mind. A man does not want to
marry q chef de cuisine, and it is no won
der the papers make fun Of coolking-schools.
To learn one department Of housekeeping
to the neglect of everything else is ruinous.
II q woma is to marry, there is nothing
so much Il be valued as good health and
good sense and q very loving heart, and
thcnit will follow that she will adapt her,
self to the calls upon her ability. When a
woman marries for a life Of case and doesn't
get it, there is certainly no remedy in her
case SO long az she forgets that life is q
struggle anywhere, and feels that she
should be excused from helping to carry
the burdens Of those by whom she may be
surrounded.
The mutual bearance and f~orbearance Of
life il "a greatly the secret of happiness in
marriage as in any thing else. We have t.
tolerate unpleasant things In our com.
panions in any relations Of life, and why
try to build up . law Of marriage in any
other Wayl