Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-08-29
OUR SHORT STORIES.
cATARRHus AuruMuNALls.
WRITTEN FOR THE prsrAToH.l ]

WRITTEN FOR THE DrsrATcH.1
A FAMOUS White Mountain hostelry during
the first advent of catarrhus autumunalis,
or hay fever, as it is vulgarly called. is place
Of unusual interest. Lawyers, doctors, minis
ters. statesmen, and the rag-tag-and-bob-tailo of
society in general assemble every year. With
watery eyes and nasal impedementa they greet
one another just regularly as the seasons roll.
This year it was decided to hold a convention.
Following is report as far as it was possible to
obtain it.:
Senator Hawkirs-'I mobe that the Hon.
Augustus ta-kish-em) Jabeson be (a-kish-em)
elected temporary chairban."
Rev. Theodore Tallman-"I seckud the boz
tion" (a-kish-huff- -kishum).
Elected and subsequently made permanent
chairman, as were all other necessary officers.
Hon. Augustus Jameson-"Gentlebed and fel-
lowsufferers: The occasion which (a-k-k-kk-kish'
em) calls us together is bobentous one. The
world is laughing at us (a-shem), and saying
that our disease is odly fad. By a bitter ex-
per-(akish)-ience we all know different. I
deed not take your tibe further than to say
(a-a-a-a) that dank you for the honor con-
ferred upod be, and will now call on
DR.. Habilton. the ebinent specialist,
to address you on this OCCASION"
Loud applause and a-kish-em, a-klsh-ems
from all parts of the room. Hundreds of
handkerchiefs wave in the air, and hundreds
Of throats are hoarse with their shouts of ap-
prevail
DR.. Hamilton-I dank you, gentlemed. for
the honor you have done be in asking be to
give you Ia klsh-kish-em) short lecture on
the subject of Hay Feber; What is It, What
Causes It and What Cures It?' Hay feber,
hay asthma, or hay cold (a-kish), seebs to habe
first been noticed at the beginning of the
present century, and was denobinated catarrhus
4stivus. 1t is a sub-accute inf1abbation of the
nostrils. called in bedical practice, coryza. 1t
also afflicts the Ia ki-ki kish-em) bronchial
bucus bebrane Ia kish a-a-a-a o, the deuce
take itD loud applause long continued
As was saying it produces irritation of the
bucus ta-) bebrane of the bronchi, together
with, in some cases. spasbs or a-a-a-asthba.
There is sobe constitutional disturbance
Ia kfsh-em). AS to the cause there is sobe
difference of opinion. 1t is called hay feber,
and is by sobe people subbosed to be caused by
ebanations from hay. Anybody who has
worked in haybow knows (a-kish, a-kish-a.
kish-em). o hadesi what q nuisancen knows
that he is liable to be set sneezing "a a-a-a-aoh)
but at the sabe tibe there are other
fora that bay be considered as causative of the
disease (a-a-ki). The CARNATIONS from the veg
etable kingdob are nuberous, and different
people are affected by different kinds Of yege-
tation (a-shem-a-kish-em). Oh, dear! My
opinion Is that nothing can alleviate 1t. I
(akish-em-a) consider it a libel on the fntelli-
gence of sobe of the best and bost celebrated
ben in this country that they ibagine that they
habe the hay feber (a-kish).
Mr.. Augustus Jameson-Beg pardon; just
bobent (a-kish-em). / observe that reporter
has gained adblttance and is taking notes. 1
bust request hlb to leave the roob (akish-em,
kish-em, a-a-a-a-a-ki).
And so the scribe, amid a wave of white and
moist handkerchief. was hustled out of the
meeting.