The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-02-05
BRIGHT BITS.

People who believe everything that they
hear can generally hear plenty of things about
their negnbOrs to believe.-SOmerUjiie Journal
ORDERLY SERGEANT To RECRUIT lwho has his
month wide open)-Be good enough to close
your reporting apparatus. Ftegende Btdtter,
MAD Your wife is out. sir.
Husband-Well. give her this kiss for me
when sne gets back. Tn going to towD.-BOS-
ton He aid.
New YoBK Girl. who was attending cook
ing school got so infatuated with the culinary
art that she went off and married a supe-BoS-
TON Courier.
PEOPLE who like TO say smart things should
hesitate, before they say them to consider
whether or not they will make other people
smart -SOnlerCltie Journal
THE TWO most exciting periods in woman s
ne are when she is listening her first proposal
and bidding BASKET of broken crockery at
an acknowledgement Herald.
rs BRowN HAPPY in his marriage?'
We'll, think if Brown were to see Mrs.
Brown to-day for the first time he wouldn t
even ask for an Internationally
Mr.. PARTINeroN-I see that it takes Nelly
Bly, Seventy-five days to run through the world
Nrs. Partngton-Poor tuing, She must have
gotten hold of one of Pulitzer's Sunday
edItlons-EDOch.
Col. ELLIOT T. SHEPARD gravely asserts that
the patriotic citizens of a republic are repub-
llcans. According to this dictum the patriotic
citizens of the sultans dominions are turkeys.
PhHddeiphid Times.
A Coon DGyIsER.-Mr Mattix Instructor in
arithmetic) George, what is the dividend?
George Cartrust (sOn of President Cartrust of
p. Q. and RI r. r. Colts what is left after
the divide - Puck.
HUsBAND-I ought to go and see Earwig about
a matter of business. but hate to talk with
him. ne is so deaf.
Wife-Why don't you telephone him, my
dear!-Lot0eU Citizen.
BRowN-Old Pecksniff is the most religious
man ever saw. He kept dinner waiting over
fifteen minutes to-day while he said grace
Merrltt-Net know when he holds fellows
note he doesn't give him moments grace
Epoch.
EFFIE-Mamma, why does the boat make that
Mamma-That is because she is going to
start.
E1ie-If l was as sorry as that wouldn't go.
Ptce Ne UO.
HE-How frank it is for Miss Hardhed to own
to being b when she would easily pass for 20
years Of age.
She-She isn't more than 49, She gets S17
we k for aScribng her good looks to Peaches
soap.-Ierre HGltte Express.
A RANK OFEENDER.-Eon Vivant (exctedly)-
Sir, appeal to you to have that man elected
the large man with the red face
Restaurant Proprietor lin alar WHATS the
matter Is he u crook? (Savagely)-Wo rse
IMAM that. Just saw nun cut raw oyster
Time.
A GENTLEMAN who several years ago lost both
legs informs US that his trousers never bag at
the knees. We print the information for the
benefit OF such of our readers as have hitherto
been unable to discover a remedy for this
annoying propensity of pantaloons- Boston
Transcript
IF | only knew what to give my uncle for
his birthday lie is SO very saving that, no
matter what you give him, he viii always put
it away and never use itn'
80, that is easy; fill half dozen bottles with
water, cork and seal them nicely, and label
them odd Rhine Wine, 1880. Fiiegende
Batter.
AMENDMENT ACCEPTED. Judge What's the
charge, officer?
OIficer-Petty larcecy, your honor.
Prisoner Gnterruptingl-I beg your pardon
judge; the charge is impersonating officer.
Judge How do you make that out?
Prisoner took a handful of peanuts and an
orange from a poor womans stand without
paying for them. -Puck.