The DeSmet leader. (DeSmet, Kingsbury Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-07-19
THE ARIZONA KICKER.
Extracts Cuiied by the Detroit Free
Press From It's Last Issue.

Press From It's Last Issue.
Among the many good things in the
last issue OF the Arizona Kicker we ex-
tract the following:
Our Gain.-Monday afternoon an
Italian with a dancing bear struck the
town, and nalf an hour later Col. 81,
derial Thompson, assist ant register OF
deeds, awoke from n snoO2e he had
been enjoying in an arm chair in the
Mighty West billiard parlors. When
the colonel saw the bear dance he
made up his boozy mind to have q
waltz with him. His friends called
him of, but he was pig headed and OBJ
stinate and refused to stay off. He
suddenly jumped in on the bear with
q yell and a whoop, and being new to
our ways the beast probably suppos-
set to work with teeth and claws, and
so used the colonel up in about three
minutes that he died that night. The
general verdict OF the public is that
his loss is our gain. He had no en-
terprise as q citizen, and az n man
some OF us would have had to plant
him within few weeks anyhow.
Settled at Last.-As will be noticed
elsewhere in the regular court proceed
ings, the legal trouble bet ween the edi.
tor OF The Kicker and Professor Nc
Call has at last been settled and an
smicable understanding arrived at.
The professor came here about two
years ago, and being in hard luck hor-
rowaj nnr rnlu SupA axy ahirt a nI Gftu
cents in cash, and later on refused to
either return the same or recognize
our claim. We posted him as dead
beat and he sued us for $50, 900. We
proved him q bigamist, and he fired
two shots at us In front of the post
Office. We advised lynching, and he
was laid up for a month in the at
tempt to hor sewhip us. The proies-
sor instituted no less than FIVE suits
against us, and on several different
occasions planned our assassination.
Day before yesterday, while the pro-
lessor was laying for us with a shot
gun at the postotfice, he wac run over
in a stampede of mules. We were the
first to reach him and render aid. He
was carried to The Kicker office in an
unconscious condition, and 1t was
half an hour before he came to. Mu-
tual friends seized upon the occasion
to settle the trouble, and their efforts
were successful. We now desire to
announce in italics that the professor
is an honest. worthy gentleman, pos.
sessed oil u fine voice and we'll qualified
to teach the divine art OF music. On
the other hand he subscribes for The
Kicker, paying in advance. OF course,
and advertises to the extent oil $24
per year.
Apply to the Coroner. as our
outside pages were going to press
Judge Knight called at The Kicker
Office and invited us to ride out to
Lone Tree with him in his horse and
buggy, ana half an hour later we were
there. The boys had preceded us,
and we found them in a circle around
"Dr. b. b. Belinger, late Of the Royal
College OF Medicine, OF London--the
only discoverer OF n sure cure tor con-
sumption" The doctor has been
with us about q month, claiming to
cure almost everything on earth, but
alter his remedies had knocked over
half q dozen citizens the boys conclud.
ed that it was time tor him to drop
out. He refused TO drop. Hence q
COMMITTEES called and asked him to
take walk. He had taken the walk
and stood on a barrel when we caught
sight of him. There was q connection
between the doctors neck and q stout
limb, and ne was making speech.
The doctor recognized US at once
and besoueht us to explain to the
crowd that he was in a hurry to leave
the country. He couldn't fly, but he
would do the next best thing. Al
though be had not advertised with us
and he had given all his lob work to
our contemporary, we could not re-
fuse his request. As q personal favor
to US the boys, after letting him hang
long enough to insure q good case OF
sore throat, cut him down and advis.
ed him to go east. He went. The last
we saw of him he was making such
time as no jack rabbit in this country
can ever hope to equal. Any one hav-
ing any legal claim on 1876 bottles oil
consumption cure. together with n
machine for making pills, two packs
OF cards and Office furniture valued at
1926, will please apply to our worthy
coroner. While DR.. Belinger still lives
to the world at large, there's no doubt
that he is dead to this community
Detroit Free Press. .