The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-10-12

when the clock announces that it is over, il
You want any more you have got to pay for
1t BY this means a day Of woe becomes
almost an imposssbility TO the average wo-
mas. This is my own invention, and az one
time thought of taking out patent on il,
but concluded that instead l would put it
in black and white and let a number Of
household be glad because Of 1t
WHAT MEN DO NOT SUFFER-
What kind of stockings do you wesri l
don't mean in co,or, for, of curse they are
black, but / mean in length. The proper
caper in stockings is to have them just as
long as YOU possibly can. In fact, except
ing they not being joined together, they are
exactly like tights. This is something that
sounds very beautiful. and, the average
young woman, when she gets them, wants
to insist upon having her sister woman go
and do likewise. You see she does not
know yet what small little imp was woven
in with the silk. When they are put on she
gleefullv announces she wi ! hold Thorn up
by snSpsnders, a ID the first time she goes
out 20 walk in them sne feels 50 nervous at
the stockings grow nervous likewise, the
suSpender comes undone, they slide down
that insidious slk-and she gasps to the
woman with whom she is walking, They
have reached my knee, and will be on the
ground the next thing that know" The
Hitting into doorway is then attempted.
aud the stocking is tied up or picued I'D
until some shop can be reached whers the
suspenders can be Strengthened again,
and the wearer of the beautiful
long stockings may walk forth feel
| ing like a different woman. That il TO
say. she ought to feel this way, but she does
not. She has gotten nervous, and she man
ages her legs as if they were not her own,
for fear that slight misstep would cause
the hook to break and the beasty thi z TO
come down again. Experience mas taught
that nothing is reliable but safety pms
safety-pins fastening the stockings TO belt.
Everybody has to learn this by experience.
and if You should chance to seq girl look
Ing as nervous as possible, ard clutching in
way the upper part of her skirt as if she
| wanted to keep it from falling Dwn, you
can make up your mind that she mas on her
first long stockings, and that she is very
uncertain as to how they are going to stay
by her.
LITTLE FoIBLEs OF BOTH SEXES.
Certainly women endure great deal TO
be beautiful-som women.
Some women lace themselves u1til their
waists are so small that you conclude their
brains are situated there.
Some men have their shoulders padded
hoping to look like athletes, whereas they
simply look like base limitations of men of
weight
Some women put rouge on in such thick
layers that the impression is given that
their intention was to paint the town red,
and they began on their own faces
Some men will spend one hour parting
their hair to conceal a bald spot which
nature intends to be seen. and ma ure is al
ways long way ahead of art.
Some women will wear an untidy boot
and believe that their skirt will hide it;
they never made greater mistake in their
lives.
Some men waste all their intelligence
arranging a scarf and then wonder that the
world does not appreciate it,
Some women think that dowdiness and
artistic effect are synonymous and then are
surprised that men call them guys.
Some men will love woman even if she
wears her hair in curl papers, sleeps with
cold cream ali over her face, forgets that
three buttons are gone off her boot, that
her gloves are disreputable, and that her
frock needs NEEDING; but these mon are few
and far between, and are usually what the
darkies call lacking"
Some women would rather have a new
bonnet than a edition of the "Encyclopa-
dia Britannica" and among that lumber is