Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1890-05-01
STRANGE ADVENTURES OF A
BRIDEGROOM.

the station to High Cliff Hotel, with my
travelling bag in hand.
was on my way to be married. | was
happy; | was anxious; was nervous. |
adored my betrothed, and fondly loved
my mother, and they had not rushed into
each other arms and vowed eternal fdel-
ity at first sight. My mother had spoken
of ny marriage as if it was to be my
funeral, which was not exhilarating.
| was about to marry the late General
listers daughter, and as Mrs. Fister had
not been widow two years, she desired
the wedding to be very private, and so did
my Emma.
We were to start directly upon little
trip to the continent, and the notice of
our wedding would appear after we were
gone.
My little journey was taken quite alone;
my mothers parting blessing had been:
Il hope you may never repent it, my poor
boy, and. altogether, it was trying time
| should be glad to have over.
My Emma mother lived in villa on
the Thames. Our wedding was to be ON
the following day, and it was necessary for
me stop over night ON the road. High
declined cab because | thought walk
would raise my spirits. was feeling bet
ter even now, and thinking how lovely the
scenery, when | suddenly came upon
man who was occupied in a curious way
He was emptying his pockets of every
thing they contained Letters, cards and
papers followed one another, being torn
into fragments and tossed over the bank
into the river. His handkerchief followed,
then his purse, from which, however, he
first took his money.
Not intent on suicide, at least
thought.
Having examined his pen knife be look
ed in his hat, took out ribbon which he
cut into inch bits, shook his fist in the air,
caught up travelling bag which stood
near and strobe away.
"A little queer in the head no doubt |
said to myself as walked on AS pass
ed the spot where he had been standing. |
paused and looked over the bank. The
water was full of parcels of paper floating
Ill every direction and one business card
had lodged IN bunch of grass that grew
at the water edge. | picked it up and
read:
CHEoPs p. MoTTLE.
"A queer name, ' thought I. Perhaps
he intends to change it, | should.' And
over with Emma, | went to the hotel. To
my horror the first person | saw was my
old acquaintance Chattem.
You know there is little machine that
will drill through any rock until it comes
to water. Chattem always reminded me of
this little machine. People who could re-
sist the ordinary pumper, abandoned hope
when he began to bore their souls
knew that if Chattem discovered that
| was in the hotel he would follow me
back and ask me questions until | should
tell him not only was to be married on
the morrow but all that had been said by
everybody and thought by everybody and
done by everybody so far as | knew. This
would be judicious, for Chattem was a
great publisher of news as we'll as a great
interviewer Therefore | determined to
dodge him if possible | would start upon
my journey at dawn. would sup in my
own apartments. Yes, | would dodge Chat
tenn.
pulled my hat over ny eyes, passed
softly around to the side entrance. was re-
ceived by waiter and wasushered into the
presence Of naughty and unbending hotel
clerk, who handed me q book and pen
with an air of contempt. | had forgotten
that this formality was necessary.
Alas! was lost. Chattem would read
the new arrival and come to my room at
once.
A bright idea struck me. No one knew
me. ! should never, perhaps, stop here
again. | would register a name
that was not my own, and battle
Chattem. | am sure my evil genius whis-
pered In my ear at that moment, for the
name upon the card | had picked up sud
denly occurred to me, and | placed upon
the page before me the recorG-Cheops P.
Mottle
The moment had done so I felt myself
turning scarlet. But it was too late to un-
do the deed. All that was possible was to
hide myself away upstairs until the
morning train started; consequently fol
lowed the waiter to my room with great
alacrity.
Once there, with a good supper before
me, and well feed waiter obsequiously
rubbing his hands, | felt safe.
Remember, said | to the waiter, ''that
| am at home to no one. | am tired
and am going to bed at once. Call me in
time for the six o'clock train, and bring
me coffee and a roll as soon as | am up.
Eyes, sir, certainly, sir. Anything
more, sir?" asked the waiter.
Nothing" said l, after he retired.
shutting the door gently after him
| locked 1t and drew great breath.
Safe, murmured- safe at last from
Chattem"
| ate my supper, smoked my cigar,
drank my absent Emma health in a glass
or two of Madeira, and retired.
Hotel mattresses are generally hard
mine was no exception to the general rule
but slept soon and slept soundly. A loud
knock at my bedroom door aroused me
Ii was the waiter, of course; but how dark
it was for o'clock. | drew my watch
from under my pillow, struck match ano
looked at it. 1t was not vet o'clock; but
the knocking was repeated.
''dullor' cried l. who is there?''
Me, sir, +" replied the waiter.
Il told you to call me for the O'Clock
train, said |.
Yes, sir, certainly, sir; this amt ;
train, sir. It's gentleman that wants t.
see you. sir"
Chattem had found me out. then, ant
gone farther than he usually did. | coul,
not help laughing at his i'm pudence.
Tell the gentleman that am asleep,
Yes, sir, replied the waiter, Il did tel
him that, sir; but he said l must call you
sir.
r1"Well, tell him to 90 to bed him
self, said l, ''I'll see him in the morn
Eyes, sir, said the waiter, but he wa
back again in a moment, and growled
He says that you must open the door
SIR
Here another voice interposed with thes