davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1890-05-09
1t Wasn't His Hat.

While the Hon. Thad. Stevens was prac-
ticing law at Lancaster, Pa, boy sidled
up to his desk.
Take off your hat" Mr.. Stevens said.
81 amt got my hat on" replied the boy.
"What do you mean by contradicting
me?" demanded Mr., Stevens.
II amt got my hat on" persisted the
boy; cts my brother Joe's hat"
ooh" Mr.. Stevens said, as he repressed
a smile. "Well, the next time you have an
errand here bring Joe with you, SO that he
can take off his hat. "-Harper'S Young
People
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1890-05-09
Eating Crow.

Brown hear you married the brokers'
daughter and that he gave you 10000 as a
starter.
Bobwigger-Yes, he gave me the check,
together with his advice; took the money.
Brown-Welll
Cobwigger-I lost it nearly ALL and now
I'm going back for the advice.-Epoch.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1890-05-09

Physician (who thinks his patient, a col
lege professor, more in need of recreation
than drugs, but has written a prescription
for mild tonic)-Here is a prescription,
professor, but what you need is a good
hearty laugh.
College Professor (glancing at the paperb
-Ha, ha, hal Ho, no, hol
"Eh? What are you laughing att"
"Your Latin. life.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1890-05-09
No Notice Taken of 1t.

First Tramp don't see why our names
don't get inter the papers, Bill
Second Tranquility should they?
First Tramp-Well, read today that
dinner was given to some big gun in New
York a day or two ago. We get dinners
given to us every day, and nothing is ever
said about it, Folks is prejudiced, BILL
Munsey's Weekly.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1890-05-09
A Redeeming Quality.

Wild Westerner-In your last paper you
referred to me as horse thief, murderer
and liar
Edtor-Well what was there wrong
about that?
Wild Westerner-I don't see why you
want to blast mans reputation with a
statement like that. l may be, as you
claim, horse thief and murderer, but,
thank heaven, sir, am no liar-Judge.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1890-05-09
The Year Round.

Mrs. De Languide-It's easy telling that
spring is here. have that tired feeling,
and horror of eXertion.
Mr.. De Languide-I think it must be q
perpetual spring with you. then,-Mun-
sey's Weekly.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1890-05-09
SynlDathetiC,

An old man nearly blind calls on an ocu-
list and requests him to examine his eyes.
"Well," remarks the man of science, II
don't see anything"
"Great heavens, doctor! you don't say
SO? Why, you're as badly off as amp
Judge.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1890-05-09
A Deep Question.

Richleigh-Julia, don't you think you
could bring yourself down to love me just
a little?
Julia-I don't know. I should have to
go down pretty far.
Richleigh-How far2
Julia-About the bottom of your pocket
book.-Munsey's Weekly.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1890-05-09
Cool.

Father shouting down stairs) - Has
George gone yet, Jennie?
Daughter (sweetly)-Not yet, paw.
f. (testily)-Well, want to 60 to bed.
d. (sweeter than before)-All right, dear.
| think it's the best thing you can do for
you've to get up early, you know. Good
night, dear paw.-New York Herald
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1890-05-09

Observation-Disclosures wrong old fellowf
Budley-Tm almost crazy. l sent pho
nograph cylinder to my broker asking him
whether he thought ! was a blamed fool,
and another one to Miss Willets asking her
to marry me, and | don't know which of
them this answer is from.
Dillenback What does it say?
Budley-Simply Eyes. Judge.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1890-05-09
Two WAYS of Raising 1t.

Rev. Mr.. Choker-Has your congrega-
ton raised your salary lately, Brother
Thirdly?
Brother Thirdly (from the countrywide,
sir; it seldom raises more than half of it
any given year.-Munseys Weekly.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1890-05-09

Ibid you hear of the accident on your
line this morning." asked a passenger of a
street railway official
mo; what was it?"
81 rode seven blocks, and had a seat the
entire distance. "-Munsey's Weekly.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1890-05-09

Say, old man." said Commish, the stock
broker, to the lamb, 81 want you to take
some stock in this mine; there's fortune
in it,"
81 know there is" replied the Bahia;
"my governor knew the man who dropped
the fortune in it. Racket
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1890-05-09
There Before Him.

The hungry guest at the nearest table was
beginning to lose patience.
How long have you been here?" he
asked a waiter who was passing, busy over
nothing.
About three years"
"Oh, then you were here before I came"
philadelphia Times.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1890-05-09
An chronological Question.

4 would like to ask question, sir"
said student to the professor
well, sir"
"Are the Kaw Indians related to the
Crows?''-Judge.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1890-05-09
His Weak Spot.

"Why is it that your friend has never
succeeded in public life'"
Periodical weakness"
$50? OF what nature?"
Losing control of his mouth. Chicago
Times.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1890-05-09

Mrs. Brown-What made you call your
grandmother down all those steps?
Little Johnnie-Because since she's the
rheumatism, she looks so funny coming
down stairs.-Epoch.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1890-05-09
But One.

"Now, Mrs. Taylor you will excuse ma,
but before taking your son into my en-
ploy should like to inquire as to whether
he has any bad habits"
"Well, no, sir-'cept dyspepsey. "-Har-
per's Bazaar
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1890-05-09
A Point of View.

Papa-Mamma, baby's awfully cunning
just watch him trying to put my eyes out
pause, during which papa's sufferings
are indescribable.)
Mamma-Bless his little soul!-Puck.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1890-05-09
For Revenue Only.

"And do you indeed love Miss Golddust,
Charleyi"
"Indeed-and title. Edith. DRY Goods
Chronicle.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1890-05-09

Grandma CAN'T hear you, George.
Speak louder.
George (aged 4)-Why don't you wear
specs on your earsy-Racket
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1890-05-09

did you see that car horse shy when
signaled to the driverY"
YES You said 'Hayp and it scared the
horse. "-Harper's Bazaar.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1890-05-09
At Old Point Comfort,

Alice (aged lO)-Ohl don't drink that salt
water Jack; it will make you so thirsty.
Jack (aged Swell, what if it doesi
There's plenty more.-Racket.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1890-10-15
BOOKS FOR THE FAMILY!
FOR THE. FATHEl

Wilson's The State. 500. Elements of
iZatiOn and functions of government. at is
study of the kind that has ever appeared i'm
the English language. Albany Argus.
FOR THE MOTHER:
Malle>On's Early Training of Children
) 10. 1.-The best book for mothers / ever
read."-EliZabeth 7. Peabody.
MarwedeTs Conscious Motherhood. 500
The unfolding of the child'S mind in the era
die. nursery and kindergarten. Miss Mar
wedefs book is the work of genius, and l
regard it rs one of the most valuable cOntri-
buttons ever made to educational literature"
May W. kincaid, >anFrancisco High school.
FOR THE BOYS AND GIRLS:
MantegaZZa's Tesla. SI.OO A book to
help boys to complete self development.
Wright's Nature Reader, MOL. 5 80 De-
scribes crabs. wasps, spiders, bees, and some
univalve mOllusks.
Wright's Nature Reader No. ,. 40 De-
scribes ants, flies, earth worms, beetles, bar
nacleS, star fish and dragon flies.
Wrights Nature Reader Nos. $ 30. Has
lessons in plant life, graSShOppers, butter
flies and birds. "Indescribably interesting
and attractive books for children not only OF
small but of larger grOwth.'-Nature, Lon
don, England.
Whitaker's How to Use Wood Working
Tools. ) 10. simple lessons in the use of the
hammer, knife, plane, rule, square, chisel.
saw. etc.
HErSent by mail post paid on receipt of
price. ID. G. HEATH Co., Publishers.
5l III No. ,, Somerset St., Boston.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1890-10-15

Jerry Simpson. ever since his attempt
to follow mp Col. James II. Hallowell in
his tour over the western portion of the
district. finally has been brought to a
realization of the fact that his chances to
be elected from the Big Seventh are no,
near so flattering rs he had been led to
believe when he first started out. He i
beginning to find out that the democrats
of western Kansas are not for him, in fact
won't even tolerate the idea that it was
at all intended that they should be- when
their convention failed to put il man in
the field. and since Jerry disclaims be-
ing Il resubmissiOnist we are not in SYM
pathy with him and as he is not of us.
we know him not. This worries Jerry
and he bias lost hope, making him very
bitter in his denunciatiOns of all those
that in anywise oppose him. feeling
called upon to abuse the citizens of
Wichita and Dodge City, the former the
home of his opponent. Col. HALLOWEEN,
and the latter the place where the repub-
lican candidate received his endorse
ment as a candidate for Congress from
the people.
His effort now is to belittle the people,
irrespective of party, at the home of Col.
Hallowell. by calling them corrupt, "a
city reeking with corruption. everything
that ever emanated from them was cor
rupt." even carrying it SO far as taking
it into the congressional convention held
in Dodge City. by saying ''that the most
corrupt thing ever hatched up by the
Wichita people was the nomination of
the Prince for Congress. \ flattering
compliment to Wichita and Wichita peo-
pie. isn't it: This made. as it is. in the
face of the fact that but twenty delegates
represented Sedgwick county. that the
district embraces thirty counties,
and the convention numbered one hun
dred and sixty-five delegates, the stigma
that Simpson charges falls more heavily
upon the people outside of Wichita and
Sedgwick county than it does upon WIch-
ita itself. Every man in Sedgwick couu-
ty will take issue with Jerry on his mouth
ings against those who reside in one of
the best counties in the state. who have
founded one of the greatest commercial
cities in all Kansas. who are proud of
their county aud city and point with
pride to the great manufacturing indus
tries that surround them and the public |
spirited men that made it possible to Sc |
cure them; all of which according to |
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1890-10-15
PLEASE ANSWER.

The democratic press of this county
seem to lay special stress on the efficiency
HONESTY and virtue of their candidate
for Clerk of the District Court. Admit
ting for the sake of argument. that their
claims are true. Mr.. Lahey can in that
event answer the queries below. to the
satisfaction of the voters of this county.
Section 3O53, chapter 80. statutes OF
1889, reads:
1T shall be the duty of the Clerk of THE
Court or justice, receiving any costs be-
longing to any other person, to hold the
same subject to the order of the person
entitled thereto, and to pay the same
over on request. And if such fees shall
not be called for within one year after
having been received. the officer shall paw
the same into the county treasury, and
take receipt therefor
We would like to ask MIR. Lahey how
much money has been turned into the
county treasury on the above account dur
ing his administration:
If nothing has been turned over. how
much of such fund has he on hands ?
Section 1873. statutes of 1889, reads:
"A stenographer's fee of two dollars
shall be taxed by the clerk of the court
as costs in each case in the district court
in any county in which stenographer
shall be appointed. which when collected.
shall be paid into the county treasury
Will Mr.. Lahey kindly tell us how
much he has collected and paid in on &C
count of stenographer's fees:
If not all paid in that has been collect
ed, please tell us how much of such
fund he has on hand from that source.
Please favor us with reply to above
questions through the columns of the
Times.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1890-10-15

Jerry Simpsons statement were brought
forth by people who were not only cor
rupt, but Ieeking with corruption, since
he stated that everything that ever ema-
mated from Wichita was rotten.
This corruption was carried into the
Dodge City convention, for he says. that
the rOttenest thing ever hatched was the
republican nominee at Dodge City; so
he makes the indirect charge that all
that were there in attendance were
equally corrupt or rotten. We care not
what the people of Wichita may think or
do about rebuking this foul SANDER. but
we want to say Dodge City will see that
no such foul-mOuthed Slanderer as jerry
Simpson has shown himself TO be would
ever get to congress if left to our people
to decide. and we say shame on any peo-
pie of any county in the district who will
so far forget their manhood as to be
found supporting such vile slanderer.
who ought to be reminded of the wrong
he has done. Even if he is a candidate
for congress, he has no license to abuse
people who neither wronged him nor
knew him before he became candidate
for congress, who, however. are grateful
to find him out and learn 10 know him
that he is not worthy of their suffrages.
and that they found it out before it was
given him.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1890-10-15

school he found in district No. q, where
he has been until the last year teaching
at higher rate of salary than any other
teacher in the country schools. proving
the value of bis services, besides enabling
him to carry on farming to some extent.
Our present county superintendent It's now
teaching the same school. proving that
it is one of the most desirable country
schools in the county.
Mr.. Swinehart's experience in country
schools was confined to the state of In
diana. a state whose school system is en-
tirely different from our own. a person
having taught in that system being en-
tirely unfit to supervise the schools of
Ford county; as our wants and needs are
i'm nowise similar to those of an old set
tied state.
Mr.. Beadle is not ont of a job. He
invites everyone out to visit his farm and
see what success he has met with in
farming the past year. He did not re-
fuse a school because he wished TO de-
vote his entire time to the canvass, but
because his farm work demands his en-
tire attention. 1t is preposterous to sup
pose that man will fail to gather his
crops after having produced them. He
is doing all in his power toward success
as he feels it his duty to do so, an obi
CATION he owes to his party and friends.
If the Times insists, it. perhaps, will be
the better plan to publish the grades of
the candidates certificates side by side
without comment, and leave the people
to Judge for themselves as 20 the efficien-
CIV of each candidate. Mr.. Beadle' s
grade for the past seven years shows an
average standing of 95! per cent. Mr..
Swinehart's. for the last eight months,
only 929a per cent.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1890-10-15
THE SUPERINTENDENT QUESTION

The GLOBE in reply to recent articles
in the Times, attacking the efficiency OF
MIR. Beadle as an educator. did not make
false statements as to its own candidate.
nor have we attempted to pervert facts
so as to appear in different light. The
plain, unvarnished truth is sufficient to
show Mr.. Beadle's superiority.
In reply to the first question asked by
the GLOBE last week the Times admits
that it has misrepresented matters and
expects to do so in the future. The fact
is Mr.. Beadle's qualifications are so SUI
perior to the democratic candidate that
there can be no just comparison. 1t is
not an exhibition of weakness to ac-
knowledge plain indisputable facts in ia
vor of the opposition. Have we done so
in reference to Mr.. Swinehart?
In reply to our second and third cues
tiOns the Times admits it has told down.
right falsehood: MIR. Swinehart was
instructor in the normal institute of Ford
county" Four weeks were allowed
the Times to correct this mis-statement
and when compelled to. they admit it to
be false. Assuredly the Times was asleep
with its eyes wide open. If You have
falsified in this. as well as other state
ments, how can you expect the people of
Ford county to believe anything YOU
claim about your candidates:
The Times reply to the fourth question
is a child S reason. Because be has il. -
is a most profound reason. logical in its
connection and absurd in IFS con-
illusions. The fact of the matter is
the Times can't afford to have the exec
utive ability of its candidate INQUIRED
into.
MIR. Beadle taught the Third Ward
school with success. More of his pupils
reached the high school than ever before.
At that time the wages were only sixty
dollars per month and the instruction
was confined to the lower branches. Mr..
Beadle did not like the peculiarities con-
nected with the school and sought a field
where he could find opportunity to i'm
prove in instruction and save more of his
wages. his expenses being much higher
In the city than in the country. This
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1890-10-15

1T shows bad state of affairs in poll
tics when the parties descend to person.
al vituperation, as is the case in Kansas
at the present time. No one can nut
= credence IN the report that Humphrey
; was drunk as charged. No matter what
the principles of the man he could not
afford to do such thing at this stage of
. the game. But Lyman L. Humphrey as
: boy and man has lived in Kansas long
time. People know him well and know
that such is foreign to him. 1t will only
react on the democracy to turn the filthy
sewer Of political depravity on Humph-
rey. The people know him.-Kansas
City Meas.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1890-10-15

The American Protective Tariff League
has just issued in pamphlet form COM
plete REPUTATION of the claims of the
free traders that our manufactured pro-
duets are sold to the foreign consumer at
lower price than for home consumption.
The subject of this documents is Export
Discounts. and if you desire Il copy en-
close two cent stamp 10 the American
Protective Tariff League, % West 23d ST.,
y. Y. This document is No. 25. In or
dering Use number only
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1890-10-15
PRESIDENT HARRISON has made hi.

PRESIDENT HARRISON has made his
first visit to the state of Kansas. and no
where in this Union has the chief magis-
'trate been accorded more cordial well
come than at our state capital. The sew
enty-five thousand citizens who congre-
gated to see and hear their president
speak all political creeds, and
it is, indeed. a pleasing fact that under
our form of government republicans and
democrats alike can lay aside party feel
ing and unite in doing homage to their
chief.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1890-10-15

JUST as we anticipated. the GLOBE
REPUBLICAN cannot refrain from mud
singing during the present campaign.
But what better could be expected from
its editors:-Democraf
Indeed! You may deceive yourself.
but the verdict of the public is that your
sheet has been. is, and always will be. a
veritable cesspool. Its whole makeup
matter, appearance aud all-is repulsive.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1890-10-15

1T is the HIS against the RS this year
in Kansas: Humphrey. Horton, Hig-
gins, Hovey, Honesty, Home against
Robinson. Reputation. Resubmission.
Rum and Ruin.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1890-10-15
OUR PLATFOR

For GOOD AND ECONOMICAL GOVERN
MENT.
For PURE POLITICS AND PURE HOMES.
FOR THE INTERESTS OF THE WEALTH
PRODUCING PEOPLE.
For FORD COUNTY FIRST. THE WORLD
AFTERWARDS.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1890-10-15

THE editorial matter in last weeks
Times was so pleasing to the city demo-
Gratis that they had it re-published in the
democrat, and for once during its exist
ence the latter paper could ''brag on its
fu1lneSS -
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1890-10-15

1--WE hope that every voter in Wheat
land township will read the Western
Kansas Ensign of last week. ''-Pefi72ou.
Yes, in the name of decency and good
morals. read il.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1890-10-15

A VOTE taken on board the special car
containing the Salina party for the re-
union, for governor. resulted as follows:
Humphrey. thirty; Robinson. two; Will
lets. five.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1890-10-15

PROBATE JUDGE MOFFITT petitioned
the commissioners for new office stove,
and in the prayer stated that it would be
used by either himself or Mr.. Anthony.
The chances are that Mr.. Anthony will
sit by that stove this winter.-7Imcs
Yes, occasionally. Judge Moffitt. in
the future as in the past, Will make it
pleasant for those who visit his office.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1890-10-15
FOR COUNTY OFFICERS.

FOR COUNTY OFFICERS.
For Representative,
JOHN l.. FINLEY.
For Probate Judge,
ID. w. MOFFITT.
For Clerk of District Court,
ii. NJ. CLARK.
For County Attorney,
+. III. MADISON.
For Supt. Public Instruction,
j. 4. READLE.
For Commissioner First District,
JOHN w. SIDLOW.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1890-10-15

No gripping. no nausea. no pain. when
DEWITT's Little Early Risers are taken.
Small pill. Safe pill. Sold by the Palace
Drug Co. 24y
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1890-10-15
WEDNESDAY,. OCTOBER Is. 1890.
REPUBLICAN TICKET.
FOR STATE OFFICERS.

For Chief Justice,
ALBERT II. HORTON.
For Governor,
LYMAN L. HUMPHREY.
For Lieutenant Governor,
Al. FELT.
FOR Secretary of State,
WILLIAM HIGGINS.
For State Treasurer,
Sc. SLOWER.
For Auditor of State.
C. NJ. HOVEY.
For Attorney General,
l.. Il. KELLOGG.
For Superintendent of Public instruction,
GEORGE W. WINANS
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1890-10-15

DEWITT'S Little Early Risers. Best
liver pill ever made. Cure consumption
every time. None equal. Use them
now. Sold by the Palace Drug Co. by.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1890-10-15
CRUMB|NE & STEWART
PHARMACISTS.

Pure Drugs and Chemicals, Patent Medi-
cines, Toilet Articles, Stationery etc.
Zimmerman Block CHESTNUT STREET
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1890-10-15

For Congress Seventh District,
JAMES X. HALLOWEM.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1890-09-05
Marion crawford,s Fine Phys,oue

Marion Crawford is an exceedingly
handsome man, and is as perfect physi-
cally. with his six feet of manliness, as a
Greek statue. BY incessant physical
culture he has developed each muscle TO
perfection, and he has distinguished him
self as brilliant fencer. His wife is as
perfect In her way, and one of the most
beautiful of American women. She has a
statuesque figure that is lith and graceful
as reed. Those who know Gen. Berdan
remember his wonderful gray eyes and
his superb physique, both OF which are
iemininely duplicated in his daughter.
When Gen. Berdan went to Turkey, after
experimenting the construction Of his
musket invention In Russia, he was ac-
|eompanied by his daughter. II was there
that Marion Crawford met the lady he
was fortunate enough TO win for wife.
Miss Berdan created a sensation in official
society In Constantinople by her beauty
and grace Of manner. Ii was there that
the wedding took place which united two
Of the handsomest natives Of the United
States. Mr.. Crawford is nephew of
Mrs. Julia Ward Howe.