Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1890-06-12
LudiCTous Errors in kilograms.

1t isn't meant to be charged that the
majority of kilograms or specials have
mistakes in them, says st Louis cor
respondent of the San Francisco Er-
anai1aer. The percentage of error is
enthusiastically small. but the errors
that are made are funny and soon get
talked around among the boys.
Cog at once, Big Bill tonight" was
message delivered to lady visiting
in Kansas from her husband in a neigh
boring city of the same state The
awful suspicion flashed upon her mind
that the liquor law was being fragrant
" violated in the Immediate vicinity
Of her husband. But who was Big
Bill?n Was he some border outlaw?
What was the significance of cog
anyway? AS the last question occurred
to her she sought and consulted the
the pocket edition of dictionary. The
definition of cog" was terrible reve-
lation. 1t read:
Cog. The tooth of wheel; trick;
to wheedle; to cheat"
She nearly tainted with fright, Her
husband was undoubtedly in the tolls
in the very teeth of this villain. Big
Bill" Her nervous prostration was so
complete that she could barely commu-
nicate the particulars to male relatives.
who were started on the first train to
the rescue of her husband. Remember
the clew," she said when they depart
ed. IF there has been foul play re-
member Big Bill" The relatives re-
turned next day with the husband and
the lucid explanation that the original
message written by him read: Come
at once. Big ball tonight
A gentleman who was not long since
stopping at one of the principal hotels
in this city, dividing his time between
attending to the business which neces-
STATED his presence in St. Louis and
bewailing the cruel fate which had
temporarily separated him from his
young wife of two months standing.
recalls the hours of anguish and I'M
certainty which ensued upon the re-
celpt OF message from his wife, read
ing:
Il have twins. Written you, but
received no reply. What is the mat
ter?'
Since he has ascertained that she had
''twice written" ETC.. he will regard
every yellow envelope with suspicion.
just imagine, if you can, the feelings
of rather high-fown newspaper cor
respondent who, after telegraphing to
his newspaper description of a con-
demned wife-murder's last night on
earth, read in the paper when he re-
ceived it that
He tossed restlessly about, and
from his 9nn3rpnt fn
all that the shirt of his wife hung over
him."
This came from the telegraph office
and passed in some incomprehensible
way; perhaps spirits were at fault
with the telegraph editor. compositor,
and proof-reader successfully. 1t is not
likely any one has been more disgust
ed with the uncertainties of dots and
dashes than a young St. Louis teleg
rapher who had never visited Chicago,
who, after rendering the name of the
famous hosiery of that city conducted
by Potter Palmer as the Pat Moore
house, has since been known by his
telegraphic acquaintance as ''Pat, to
the utter exclusion of his more euphon-
lous patronymic. Eugene.
At small office in the interior of
this state the whole available force of
messengers hunted half day for a
man named E. C. Lipse before it
dawned upon the brilliant mind of the
operator that it was intended for the
Eclipse newspaper office. In like
manner Sale Mills was omitted from
the postal guide, but Salem, H., was
there, aud at that place was also an in
furiated man waiting for long-delayed
answer TO his telegram.