Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1890-12-21

What shock-wha.'s the matter with
you?" asked the doctors friend.
Didn't you hear about it?r
About what?"
why, the scare George Locke and got
the other day, while out duck shooting"
Haven't heard word about it. I've been
out of town, you know. But go ahead and
tell me about it.
"All right. You see our crowd ALWAYS
goes up to Pritchard Lakes for ducks, and
as you we'll know, we never come home
otherwise than ioaded-with game, mean.
We have been fast acquiring the reputation
OF being the luckiest hunters in this yicin-
ity. Well, George Locke and l were up
there couple of days ago, and we ran
upon the sea serpent"
Sea serpent"
That's what. You see we left the cabin
| long before sunrise and padded in our
boats down to the lower lake, where George
and have always had fine luck. We had
| Just about taken up our stands when we
heard deafening crashing and Topping
about in the tulss just back of us. We
knew whatit was instantly, as we mad been
| repeatedly warned by our steward that the
| monster was still residing in the vicinity of
| the lakes, and | tell you what little hair l
| have on my head stood right up straight
! like so many wires. l looked over to where
| George had taken up his stand, ard the
poor fellow was lying in the bottom of his
Constituted dead away. Realizing that
| it would be impossible for ne to save
George, l grabbed my paddle, and
if ever Dec Tebbets worked be did
| then, to get cut of harms way
Only once did look back, and l will
never forget what l saw as long as I car
remember it. A great big head-oh. a:
big as house-had risen high up out o.
the tules, and the eyes, which were like
locomotive headlights, were glaring at me
| dresdfully. About half a mile away
could see the monsters tail lashing the
ground like colossal club. Oh, and how
l did pull for the cabin. Each succeeding
second l expected to hear the dreaded
monster crashing along after me. And
when was finally satisfied that he was
not pursuing me my heart went out tc
poor George. No doubt he had been swal
lowed at ore fell swoop by the serpent.
thought l. When l reached the cabin
tainted away, and when recovered severa
hours later, | saw poor George laid out
on another cot near me with the steward
working over him vigorously to revive
him. How he escaped nobody will evel
know. George says he remembered moth
| ing after be saw the monster until he woke
| up and found himself at the cabin
| The doctors friend wiped the great beads
| of perspiration from his brow. and. taking
| the doctors hand, congratulated him upon
his narrow escape from death.
But there were others within hearing O.
| the doctors thrilling recital who were no
similarly affected. They were City Audi
tor Mckee, Louis Nicolaus and Trustee
| Wolf all relentless duck-hunters, anC
rivals of the doctor. "Humph Doc IS &
| great schemer," whispered Mckee to Wolf
but he can't fool US, can he? He and bis
crowd would like to scare US away from
the lakes with sea-serpent stories so thai
| they could have all the shooting to them.
seives-bnt We'll fool EN-, won't we, boys?'
Ed. Smith rode into town from the wilds
OF Capitol Park the other evening, and as
is always the case on such occasions, be
was primed with a new ioke-in fact that
is all that ever brings Ed. down town.
He had just hoped off the car, and was
| entering the Golden Eagle, when he cap.
tured his first victim
| Hello, Tom, old man, how are you /?
Say, I've got brand new one"
| We'll, spring it."
| why is a man like boat?n
| "Hum-give it up, Ed
| Cause, when he gets full he has to be-
bailed out. See? Ha! ha ha! I'll take
a cigar, please-a mild one."
81 tell you, my friend" argued the
deacon, imagination is every thing. Why
l have actually known instances where
men, imagining themselves i'll, went to see
a doctor, and, after the latter had given
them teaspoonful Of sugar and water
they imagined themselves well again.
Why, l actually believe that if you would
give man some red water, and make him
believe that it was wine he would imagine
himself drunk"
! Jaw, get out" said Tom Clark, who was
the individual addressed by the deacon.
Just you start two fellers out, one drink
ing wine and the other red water, and my
money says the wine Teller gets full fust.'
No, you're wrong-thoroughly wrong
said the deacon. THE man who gets drunk
on wine always imagines himself sober,
you know. l tell you, sir, Imagination is
everything"
| Tom was silent and he meditated
| "Humph! change my bet." he unused q
few moments later, my money says now
| that this religious Teller has been there
himself, else he could not know so much"
They were of the genus tramp-and full
| blown ones at that.
well, Pete" said Bill, carelessly, .'has
yer decided whar yer is goin' ter dine
Christmas
We'll, no, Willie, have not as yet. You
see has SO many pressing invites that /
am placed in an awkward predickyment,
doncherno, an doesn't like ter hurt any.
body's feelins. Now, Gunner Markham
writ me letter two weeks ago requestin'
me ter chew turkey and drink champagney
| water with him, an the very next day gotter
nuther invite from Gunner Waterman, who
SEE, SEE he, that bein' as how he was about
! ter leave ther Capital fer good, should dc
| him ther honor of eatin' with him this
| time. doesn't know jest yet what I'll do.
But say, old chappie, where be you goin'
| ter eat ?''
"Ahem Well Petey, 1 be in about the
same boat as you suppose ought to 90
back to London and dine with the Prince as
| l allus has before, but, then, business pre-
vents the trip. King Calico telegraphed
| yesterday from Frisco ter see if would
| chew with him, an I have not sent my
answer vet, as hasn't decided. And then
you know, l."
Here, what did tell you two buEs
about lettering around here?''
The voice was gruff, and the conversants
upon looking around beheld burly police.
men.
The Chief gave orders last night to run
all hobos out of town." continued the rude
intruder, land if lay eyes on you fellers
in town again, I'll chuck you both in the
tjug. See?'
I'VE see, we see, the soft reply, and after
executing graceful salaam. they walked
off, arm in arm, for the Yolo bridge.
Dealing In the Wrong Market.
Want to buy a wheelbarrow, madam ?''
demanded the aggressive-looking man at
the front door of dwelling near Jackson
Park the other day.
"What in the world do want of a wheel.