Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-05-28
THE TOPICAL TALKER.

tioH-As TO the Word Coudu,,-a Phone
graphic Standard wouId he Handy
There Are Sewers and Sewers.
A GOOD while ago, before the Standard Oh
Company gobbled the oil business in But
Ter county. there were several pipe lines in mss
and litigation in some way arose about them
The case came into court and one Of the attor
neys persisted In referring to the pipe line as
conduit The latter word was used in tha
sense then, but Judge Thompson, who was O,
the bench, objected to the way the lawyer pro
nounced it. The lawyer made three syllable
of the word and laid the accent on the dx 1,
conduit
MY good man." finally said the Court. .s
don't see why you persist in talking about ,
conduit; you might just as well 60 home anc
ask your wife for hot biscuit"
What objection, if any, the lawyer had t.
public correction, my informant sayeth not
But if an orthoepist had been present he might
have corrected the Court, for the word conduit
Is not by the best authorities pronounced like
biscuit. AS far as am informed, conduit is tc
be pronounced as if spelt cond wit, the vi being
gwen the same twist as ue gets in desuetude.
| ID DEsUETUDE, by the way, was the word which
| Mr. Cleveland gave such a vogue a few
years ago. There was considerable contention
about the pronunciation of the second SYLLABLE
in that word some insisting that it was really
two syllables. while the photographers ruled
that it was to be sounded, as Tony Weller
directed Samivel to spell his name, "with toe'
1t was an ugly, awkward phrase, that '.n
nocuous desuetude." though curiously enough
it now describes its authors condition some
| what accurately.
THESE gu estions of pronunciation are con.
stantly arising. English as she is spoke''
| is most uncertain article. The dictionaries
differ, the pedagogues differ, and men of wide
culture in the pulpit at the bar and in the
halls of Congress, mangle their mother tongue
without mercy. An English scholar, Mr..
Snow, complains that alphabetic writing is an
imperfect makeshifr when we wish to represent
sounds with scientific precision.
But at last" says Mr.. Snow, 'the phono.
graph has come to show us a more excellent
way We ought to have a photographic code
drawn up by an international committee, and a
set of facsimiles in every university library
nay, in every school where modern language
is taught-so that an author could write down
No. 127.' and we could go to the instrument
and grind out l27. secure that we heard ex-
actly what he meant"
MIR. Snow was thinking of Greek when he
said this. but it applies equally well to English.
Some time ago it was told in this column how
teacher of French in this city was utilizing
the phonograph to familiariZe his pupils with
the Partisan accent. The teaching of pro-
nunciation by phonograph was successful
when French was the language, why should it
not be in English? The cylinders would have
to be filled by the best authorities on pronun-
citation, and could then be distributed through
all English speaking countries to be used as
standards of pronunciation.
1T is strange that Congressman Bynum. when
compelled to withdraw the supplementary
epithet he had applied to Mr.. Bayne, did not
bethink him of more ingenious way out of the
difficulty than by substituting the word conduit
for sewer.
In an account Of the funeral of Mary, Queen
of Scots, which appeared in this months 1t
lantic Monthly, are mentioned among the
mourners mine gentlemen sewers to the
Queens Majesty" The sewers" in question
evidently were men OF some distinction. at all
events, respectable beyond doubt, for they
appear to have marched In the van of the pro-
cession, and almost Immediately in front Of the
Bishops of Peterborough and Lincoln, and
other high dignitaries The office OF sewer"
in the court of Queen Elizabeth was much the
same as that of a gentleman-in-w waiting in
Queeu otTFlCc. Meu VI SOOu 1dluHy
esteemed it an honor to wait upon their
gracious sovereign, and did not disdain as
sewers" to pass the tomato ketchup or snuff
the candles when their royal mistress desired it
of them.
Had Mr.. Bynum explained that he meant
nothing more by the word ''sewer" than its
ancient usage justified, he might not have been
forced to resort to an inelegant synonym.
A flower garden not easily equalled for color
and variety of color was the interior of
Mechanical Hall last night. About half of
the 5000 people present were ladies and the
fine weather had evidently tempted the ador-
able creatures to wear their very best bonnets.
The consequence was that the whole house was
q flower garden.
If full dress were the rule in Pittsburg on
such an occasion the effect might have been
more dazzling, but it could not have been
richer. If there was a prevailing tint in the
colcrs of the bonnets it was primrose yellow.
CTRAUss' waltzes carried more than one staid,
~ elderly person off his or her feet-for
neither sex could escape the wonderful spell of
the Austrian's music.
At the evening concert an elderly lady-'a
mighty fine woman, be gadr'-who sat near me-
as Conductor Strauss wheeled about at the end
of "Roses from the South" exclaimed: Il would
give this bracelet to dance one waltz with
himn'
How many echoes of that wish are ringing
YETI