davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1890-07-31
AN EXCELLENT SCHEME.
How an Ohio Father Got Rid of Seven
Manageable Daughters.

Manageable Daughters.
An Ohio man, the father of seven
manageable daughters-some of whom
were in danger of getting somewhat too
far along to be marriageable-has been
practicing recently with little o-dina-
~ everyday human nature, such as
may be found in the makeup of all of
us. This Ohio man had put up patient
ly with all the young men of the country
around for years. They came TO see the
girls every night, sometimes three or
four a night, and on Sunday nights
there was always as much as one man
for each of the seven girls. They just
had their steady company, as they say
in Ohio.
All this was very pleasant to the girls
and boys, but it was expensive for the
old gentleman, and it ultimately be-
came very tiresome. As none of the
boys showed disposition TO take any
of the girls off his hands by marrying
them, he ordered them off He felt that
things were altogether too convenient,
and that the girls were rated too cheap
ly. Some of the young men showed
their utter worthlessness by giving heed
to these orders and treating them in
good faith. Others continued their
visits, but did their best to avoid the
old gentleman, and always enjoyed
themselves the more when they knew
he wasn't around.
He was not to be deceived, however,
and seeing chat he had not much inn
proved the chances of getting his girls
married, he created more obstacles. He
bought number of unusually ferocious
dogs, and borrowed a shotgun of neigh
Dor, and gave notice that the first
young man that came fooling around
the house could have his choice of
being shot or eaten up by the dogs.
This scheme worked admirably, and it
had almost immediate effect Within
three days two of the girls had run
away and got married. This so en-
couraged the old gentleman that he
bought an extra dog and an increased
supply of ammunition for the shotgun.
The greater the difficulties, however.
the more determined the young men
were to have those girls, and the unde-
niable truthful statement is made that
within month not one of the young
ladies remained unmarried. They had
all got away in spite of the dogs and the
shotgun, just as the old gentleman had
doubtless foreseen would be the case
when they were made hard TO get they
were in demand. That is merely a
kind of human nature that most people
understand, out il isn't so effectively
practiced by every body. -Philadelphia
Press
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1890-07-31

THE TYPICAL AMERICAN.
He Is an All-Around jolly Fellow, and
Delights in a Good story.

The typical American of the educated
classes is not very like an Eng lishman:
he is rather more like a Frenchman.
but still more like an American. You
can not say where he differs in appear
ance from the Briton; it may be in his
neektie, his boot or the wav in which
he brushes his hat He seldom looks as
If he lived much in the open air or was
fond of field sports. He is much more
vivacious than an Englishman, more
original in manner. more fertile in
ideas, more modern in every way. He
is almost too good company; too effer-
vescent for some natives of a slow,
fogY climate. He is enviably detached
from our internal politics and social
confusiOns. These are all pretty indif-
ferent to the native of country which
has elbow-roOm, a militia which shoots,
and practically no neighbors. He is
usually fond of the Irish and their
cause, but he never goes to Ireland. He
does not mind explaining to you the
niceties of baseball; but / have known
an elderly Frenchman to take more in
terest than he does in cricket. He seems
to me to know a great deal about cook
cry and delicacies of strange names,
American or French; but he has, per-
haps, no very high opinion of our poor
culinary efforts. He is not curious,
however, in strange mixed juleps and
cocktails, etc, like the representative
American of the stage. He very seldom
talks with an English accent and even
when he does, his idioms betray him.
He takes Platonic interest in poker,
but is no gambler. He is much too
familiar with English life to be keenly
curious about IL, and he never dreams
of going to see the lions He is
rather fond of the play, knowing
and caring very much more
about our authors, actors, pieces,
etc, than / do, for one. He is kind,
courteous. ingenious, obliging, good
fellow, and welcome because he is in
finitely more alive than most of us. To
bring him into a room full of detected
Britons is like pouring fresh water
among the fish in a pail. He is patri-
otto, but no Chauvaniste, and is aware
that Bunker Hill was but a British de-
feat He does not talk about the war
and Abraham Lincoln. We are sorry
when he goes away and glad when he
comes back again with new budget OF
good stories, for if he has national
trait, it is the swapping of anecdotes.
He is not a man that any body would
think of trying to impose upon, but he is
not demonstratively acute. Never have
l seen a robustious American, nor an
American who preached, nor an Ameri-
.sar hln toll Ct "A nd 20 W
Lang, in North American Review
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1890-07-31
CENSUS TROUBLES.
COmical Experiences 90 Enumerators in
Central India.

COmIcal Experiences % Enumerators in
Central India.
In one of the wilder districts of Ben
gal, during the census of 1881, curious
rumor got about among the Dravidian
tribes that the numbering of the people
was merely the preliminary TO the
wholesale deportation of the men to
serve as camp followers in Afghanistan
and of the women to work as leaf-pick-
ers in the tea gardens of Assam. This
silly fable. embellished with charac-
teristic but highly-indelicate details,
created general panic. Many thou
sands deserted their villages and hid
themselves in a range of forest-clad
hills, where they hoped to escape the
official enumerators. The number of the
fugitives was Large enough to vitiate
the census statistics for that area,
and the day fixed for the final enumera-
ton was periously near. Something
had to be done, but any attempt to COM
pei the tribes to come in would only
have increased the panic. The district
official used his personal acquaintance
with some of the tribal headmen or
elders to induce them to meet him and
talk matters over. BY explaining to
them in simple language the real OBJ
ject of the census, and laying stress on
the necessity of knowing, for the pur-
pose of relieving famine, the exact pop
ulation of a district which had within
living memory suffered from two severe
famines, he succeeded in inducing them
TO exert their influence to get the people
back. So effective was their action and
so readily were their orders obeyed
that within three days the villages
were again occupied, and whatever may
have been the defects of the census
in that part of the country they GER
tainly did not lie on the side of omis-
sion.
The same thing was done. only in a
more humorous fashion, by a district
officer in the central provinces. Some
of his tribes took fright and ran away,
and he induced their headmen to listen
TO explanations. Relying on the fact
that wagers of various kinds figure ex-
tensively in Indian folk lore, he sol
emily assured them that the Queen of
England and the Emperor of Russia,
having quarreled as to which ruled over
the most subjects, had laid big bet on
the point. He went on to explain that
the census was being taken in order to
settle the bet, and he warned his hear
ers in a spirited peroration that if they
staid in the jungle and refused to be
counted, the Queen would lose her money
and they would be disgraced forever, as
nimak-hardm, or traitors to their salt
The story served It's purpose. and the
tribes came iu-C ontemporarV Review
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1890-07-31
TIE CONGO BASIN.
Some Writers Estimate Africa's Popula-
tIon at 3e5, 900. 900 Souls.

Some Writers Estimate Africa's Popula-
tIon at 325, 900, 900 Souls.
And under the name of the Independ-
emit States of Congo its government was
organized after the most approved meth
DDS of Belgian administration, and il
entered fully equipped into the family
of nations. There is within it's area,
which, as said, is thirty-three times
that of Belgium, a population of 45t
whites, about one-half State officials
and employees, and the estimated mum.
Der of natives within its borders 10
about 40, 000 900; and in the whole Con-
60 basin is estimated at about so, 600, 00o.
Africa is about three times the area OF
Europe, or IL, 900, 600 square miles, and
some writers estimate il to contain
about an equal populatiOn-325,0 600, 0Oc
souls. The enormous trade developing
there comes mainly from the narrow
selvage which separates the mountains
from the sea. Ii is great basin com.
posed of plateaus gradually ascending
to 1000 feet at some OF the central
lakes. 1t has four great river systems:
On the west the Congo, second only to
the Amazon in the volume of its waters,
and the Niger; on the north the Nile;
on the east the Zambesi. These rivers
once formed vast internal seas. which,
finally breaking through the mountain
barriers. have descended by cataracts
and canyons TO the ocean, leaving great
areas of rich deposits of wonderful fer.
tility.
THE Congo BASIN" says an eminent
scientific authority, Prof. Dupont, fresh
from visit there, sis destined to be the
granary of the world" Is this the
ground to draw the gathering electricity
from that black cloud spreading over
the Southern States, which thus far has
dropped fairness upon and given vast
production to them, but which is now
growing big with destructive elements?
Perhaps here may be found solution
of the race problem that presses on us
and must be met and must be solved.
What eminent statesman will give him
self to this great work, compel public
attention. and point the way thither for
these disturbing elements? Though
condemned at present by many from
partisan or other standpOints. an exodus
of the better educated and more ambi-
tious people of the colored race would
lead up to practical, peaceful, happy re-
suits for US and for our African races,
and to immortal honors for that states.
man. When is the new colored Moses
to rise for this exodus and lead his peo-
pie home?- Henry S. Sanford, in Fo-
rum.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1890-07-31
CHICKEN COOP.

in the illustration. by cutting board
about twenty inches long for the back
of the coop and two small pieces to tack
laths on 20 the front part Have the
upper section of the back of the coop
fastened with leather hinges, so that it
may be opened at pleasure. Every one
has old barrels which are almost value
less, and the trouble and expense of
making coop of this description is so
small, that it is not worth mentioning
while 10 buy the material and make a
coop of the same size would cost about
one dollar. Home and Farm.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1890-07-31
1t Was business with Him.

Gus de Smith-Have there been no
cases Of poisoning by ice cream this sea-
son?
City Editor-Not that know Of
Gus de Smith-Well, if you see any
such cases please republish them in
your local column with few editorial
comments stating that the victims died
In great agony. You see l am very pop
ular with the young ladies, and a few
impressive warnings of that kind in
your paper would save me SO much
money during the season that 1 could
AFFORD 20 paw you an occasional five
dollars in actual cssh.-Texas SiftingS
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1890-07-31
TOLD BY STANLEY.
The Explorers Fox Terrier Randy and
the Guinea FL vi.


the Guinea FL vi.
We were sitting conversing about our
prospects, discussing the probabilities
of our couriers reaching some settle
ment on this day, or the next, and the
time that it would take them to return,
and they desired to know whether in
my previous African experience. had
encountered any thing as grievous as
this.
mo, not quite so bad as this" I re-
piled. I'VE have suffered, but not to
such an extremity as this. Those nine
days on the way into Ituru were
wretched. On our flight from Bumbire
we certainly suffered much hunger, and
also while floating down the Congo to
trace it's course our condition was much
to be pitied; we have had little of
something, and at least large hopes,
and if they die where are we? The
age of m 'acles is past, it is said. but
why should they be? Moses drew water
from the rock at Horeb for the thirsty
Israelites. OF water we have enough
and to spare. Elijah was fed by ravens
at the brook Cherith. but there is not
raven in all this forest Christ was
ministered unto by angels. ] wonder
if any one will minister unto us?"
Just then there was a sound as of a
large bird whirring through the air.
Little Randy, my fox terrier, lifted up
a foot and gazed inquiringly; we turned
our heads to sec, and that second the
bird dropped h-Leath the jaws of Randy,
who snapped at the prize and held it
fast in a wise as of iron.
There, boys" | said, truly the gods
are gracious. The age of miracles is
not past" and my comrades were seen
gazing in delighted surprise at the
bird, which was fine fat guinea fowl.
1t was not long before the guinea fowl
was divided, and Randy, its captor, had
his lawful share, and the little doggie
seemed to know that he had grown in
esteem with all men, and we enjoyed
our prize each with his own feelings
Henry NJ Stanley, in Scribner.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1890-07-31

SOMETIMES when heavy coating of
manure has been turned under in the
garden the best thing to be done is to
replow it, thus thoroughly mixing
manure with the soil, as it cannot well
be done otherwise, says writer. By
this repeated turning of the soil in warm
weather more warmth is given to the
lower strata at the bottom of the furrow.
The manure also is much more effective
than when left in one place, as the
more PARTICLES of soil come in contact
with it the wider its fertllizing effects
nr+nnA
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1890-07-31
VINE OR BUSH SUPPORT.

sort the vines or bushes are kept up OF OF
the ground so that light and air can
freely circulate through and about the
base of plants, causing greater product
iveness, better quality of fruit, and
doing away with much loss, decay, and
inconvenience in gathering fruit. With
care a score or two of frames will last
for years, providing they are removed
at the close of the season and put away
under shelter Orange Judd Farmer.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1890-07-31
Nothing without Its sting.

And that, too, in the shape of the heartburn
most abOminable of acidities y after eat
ing, if indigestion, in it's chronic form, has
you in it's clutches. Neither, if it has, can
you long expect immunity from biliousness
and constipation, it's pleasing colleagues,
the hideous trio vieing each with each TO
render your life more miserable. Get Hos
letters Stomach Bitters at once-insist
upon the genuine in glass-and use it with
rational persistence
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1890-07-31

NV wife used only two bottles o.
"Mother's Friend'' before her third confine
ment Says she would not be without it fol
hundreds of dollars. Had not half as mucl
trouble as before. DOCK MILES, Lincoln
Parish, La. Write The Bradfield Regulator
Co, Atlanta, Ga, for further particulars
Sold by all druggists.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1890-07-31

But few OF Us may hope FOR; IL We creep
From base TO base and watch each wary chance
We're doing pretty toierabiy well
To score on singles even! Lucky We,
II liners fiy not swift TO helders' hands
And send US 10 our durauee on the grass.
Where. near BY. Captain Cunning coaches men
The odds are great against Us; 20 the ball
IN taking downward curves escapes our sweep
And falls too often in the catcher's hands;
or spite o. all our efforts. is a foul,
Ard were caught OUT
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1890-07-31
VIM or Rnsh Snnnnrt.

The illustration herewith shows t.
construction of support for raspberry
bushes, tomato vines, etc. The corner
posts are IL to Q inches square and
about ? feet or more long, as desired,
and sharpened so as to be easily pushed
by hand into the ground. Stats or
cross pieces are of lath and two or more
feet long to suit whatever is to be
trellised. BY use of something of this
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1890-07-31

The first steam vessel which sailed
on the Mississippi was in 1910, and the
enterprise was considered extraordinary.
In 1926 the steam navigation on the
river had so improved in respect TO
facility and quickness that ffty-one
Losts. of 2s. 9l6 tons. were employed.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1890-07-31

The treasurer of St Clair County,
Mich, received an envelope the other
day containing 500 in money. 1t was
from some conscience-stricken man. and
the only explanation inclosed was the
fact that the money wasn't his
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1890-07-31
OUR GAME OF LIFE.

We each take turns upon an earthly field
Stand twixt the pitcher Life and catcher Death,
Within our hands the club Of Destiny
Beneath our eager feet the diamond Hopei
High or low baus Shall the grim catcher,
Death
Laugh az our whizzing q the bat through space,
And Fate the umpire. call Us out on strikes
Before the first base Of our youth Is gaineds
Or 81 aII we touch the goal and laugh 10 scorn
The quick in-hurling o. the well sent balIs
Suppose we gain the first; a brother comes
And IN his hand now lies our veal or woe!
should he. BY lucky chance. 50 WELD the bat
That the good ball shall soar DER delderst heads
And lose itself midst mustard plant and dock
'Twere most miraculous, And We are wise
II. now, We watch with coil, unblinking eyes
The nearest shortstop Necessity.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1890-07-31

This" said the museum lecturer, lis
the f4r-famed phantom Fiametta. :
Il don't see no phantom, said one Of
the audience.
We'll, that amt my fault She's
there. II YOU can't see a ghost you
can't blame me. N. Y. Sun.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1890-07-31

An average of $500, 600 in mutilated
currency is received weekly at the sub.
treasury in New York for redemption.
Judging by the character of the small
bills in circulation the amount ought Is
be four times as great
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1890-07-31

Any man that puts an article in reach of
ouer1Corked loonlen to tighten her labor is GER
tainly benefdctor. Cragin & Co surely
come under this head in making Dobbins'
Electric Soap so cheap that all can use it.
You give it trial
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1890-07-31

-Friend-''Y0u have only been mar
ried two weeks and you are fighting al
ready, 50 hear" Mrs YounE-''Yes,
life's too short to waste any time.
ought 70 have tackled him two week.
sgo."-Texas SiftingS
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1890-07-31
A Cheap Chicken Coop.

To make an inexpensive chicken coop,
nail the hoops firmly to every stave of
an old barrel, and after clinching the
nails saw the hoops off on the seam.
Then spread the barrel open as shown
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1890-07-31

HAVE YOU read the advertisements OF
Maher & Grosh, Toledo, Ohio, in this paper
and previous issuesi If not, better do so.
They sell good goods awfully cheap, are
perfectly responsible, and will do just as
they promise every time.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1890-07-31
We ever start 20 nlar


The short nlne innings Of our little lives
With visions Of great balI-Of many flies
Lost in The ether blue OF sunny skies,
And wake TO sea daisy-cuttsT jump
Low toward the waiting fielder, Circumstance
o.times the bats too heavy for our hands.
or far too light Tor our great, Jealous strength
And though the diamond luresus ever on
The dust We make in scrambling for each base
Pills our poor eyes and blinds Us 10 our fate
And when we stand erect and see again
The Grand stand OF this vast. terrestrial sphere,
10, one fine ball i safe within the hands
OF stern REORGANIZATION AZ our backs.
And our grim umpire, Fate, calls loudly
out -
Eva Best, in Detroit Free Press.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1890-07-31

WHY don't you try Carter's Little Liver
Pillsl They are positive cure for sick
headache, and all the ills produced by dis
ordered liver. Only one pill dose.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1890-07-31

1T is positively hurtful to use ointment for
skin diseases. Use Glenn's Sulphur Soap
Hills Hair and Whisker Dye, so cents.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1890-07-31

AT a bear and bull fight in San Di
ego County, Cal, the bear had every
thing its own way, and three bulls were
killed.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1890-07-31

ANY one can take Carter's Little Liver
Pills, they are so very small. No trouble to
swallow. No pain or gripping after taking.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1890-07-31

MANY a man who never speculates In
leather frequently takes a flyer In harness
on the road
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1890-07-31

An umbrella Is a remarkable paradox
from the fact that 1t is at its best when
used up.-Philadelphia Press.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1890-07-31

J. A. JOHNSON, Medina. n. Y. says: 'sHall's
Catarrh Cure cured me-" Sold by Drug
Qists 75c
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1890-07-31

The peculiar performance of pas
senger on the steamship Iroquois was
the cause OF considerable excitement on
a recent trip from New York TO jack
sonville. Fla. just after crossing the
bar he tied the lead line around his
waist and jumped over the side for a
swim. He was jerked through the
water at frightful rate of speed. and
the ship had 70 be stopped and the
erratie gentleman hauled aboard. He
said he merely wished to take an ocean
dip, and thought that he could keep up
with the snip.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1890-07-31
A Chapter IN the History of Tippo
Sahib, the Man K .Iler
He Takes Round Two Out Of Big
Rant Just to- show How stubborn
and Ugly lie Can Be
His End.

+ a DING the
stories abou I
elephants in the
sun" said Billy
Manson. an old
circus man. put
me in mind of
an exciting and
u n n ' expe-
rience we had
once with IA
nous old TippO
Sahib. Oueofthe
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1890-07-31

"I'M not In it, was the proud remark Of
the Lemon, with soornful glance at the
circus lemonade-LOwell Citizen.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1890-07-31

PoIITENEss is characteristic Of lawyers.
One Of their chief delights is TO say pleas.
Binghamton Republican.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1890-07-31

II the boys do not kiss the misses, then
the girls viii miss the kisses. -Binghamton
leader
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1890-07-31

PIE youth who wakes up fresh as daisy
is likely to go 70 bed tired IL he keeps up his
freshness all daY-Puck
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1890-07-31

1T is th man who Is too flu for utterance
who never knows when he 10 loaded.-Bos-
ton Post
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1890-07-31

No ODiura in Piso's Cure for Consumption
Cures where other remedies fail 20c.