Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1890-10-04
TEA-TABLE SALAD.

PHtSOUfg ChfOittctS.
THE man who proposed at o'clock In
the morning did the business IN dew
time Boston GaSctte.
GnACE-"What air was that you were
PLAYING last night?" Laura-"A mil
tionaire and I landed him ''-NeW York
Herald.
THERE are some politicians who have
to be showed under before they learn
the drift of public opinion Washisegton
Mirror.
THE tennis-b blazer will soon give way to
the venison-blazer. Both, it may be
said, lead to a great deal Of dear pleas
ure.-B0st0n Gazette.
The WRoNa KIND.-Boy Customer
~ want to look at some socks" Clerk
Fast colors?' "No, blame it. am
messenger boy."-LJe.
''You' RE always full of ne VS., " said the
Letter to the Box.
"I'm glad you dropped in" replied
the box. "I'll keep you posted. "-New
York Herald.
MAAMA-"My dear, why do you al
WAYS look in the corners of the paint
ings?' Daughter-'I want to see the
artists name first, then / know whether
/ am to admire the painting or not. -
Figaro.
MINISTER (who has forgotten what ser
mon he preached week before -"Did
you make minute of my last Sundays
sermon, Eliza?" Minister'S wife-"How
could | when you made an hour of lt?'
Huntington Free Press.
PATRICK Gust recovering from the eff
fects Of ether in the hospital Doh,
where am I?-where am I?'' DIR. Saw
bones with wink Gin heaven" Pat
rick Cooking around -'Then I'd like
to know phwat you're doing here. -
Racket.
BENEVOLENT Individual-"Need help
again, do you, Uncle Ebony? Well,
here's dollar. presume you find it
difficult to keep the wolf from the
door," Uncle Ebony-"I AIM fraid no
wolves, sab; l keep TO- dogs. "-Good
NeaCs.
Mr.. IsAAcs-"I sells you dot coat at a
gread sacrifice"
Customer-"But you say that all of
your goods. How do You make llv-
ing" o.
schmall profit on de paper and string"
--New York Weekly.
A HARD LIFE-BeneEOlent lady Ito
tramp)-"Here, my poor man, is all we
have left this morning. | suppose you
have hard time of it?" Tramp-"Yes,
mum. It's awful hard, mum, to leave a
nice soft hay-mow so early in the morn
in, or else git around too late for break
fas' ."-Ne,U York Weekly.
There's plenty ofroom at the top" no doubt
The words oft quoted are really true
And who buys fruit by the box finds out
There is plenty of room at the bottom. t@o.
Chicago Post.
TEMPERANCE workers should turn their
attention to money, which, we under
stand, has been terribly tight for some
Philadelphia Cali.
"DID you tell Skittles that was an in
famous liar? ?"
"No, did not Quite the reverse, in
fact. said you were famous one. p
Neac York San.
THERE doesn't seem to be any point
to this joke" said the funny mans
wife; "Why did you print it?' The
managing editor got it off," replied the
humorist sadly.-Brooklyn Life.
"WHERE in the world is the chalk
drawer?' asked the drug clerk. "What
do you want it for?'' ''Theres Gus
toner here after powdered borax."
"Well, he'll have to wait. Pillbox has
the chalk putting up an order for mag
nesia. Philadelphia Times.
SAucY PEppLER (after ringing an up
town door bell imperiously, to angry
man of the house, with sick child up
stairs 81 bought the right to this block,
and I've got a right to ring. "-PhilG-
delphia Record.
Boy Gin drug store Mister, l want
to get-a-um-I want pint Ola
thunder | forget"
Druggists Clerk-"I say, Dick; here's
Y a boy forgot what he came for"
Boy-"That's it,"
Druggists Clerk-"What's it?"
observation-disclosures Leader.
In winter whisky warns him up,
In summer 1t eools, he thinks.
And when its neither cold nor hot
He makes no plea, but drinks
-NeV York Herald.
AMERICAN CITIzEN-"Oi say, Doochy,
cud We not play something besoids y'r
Dootch chunes? Don't yez know amy
American chunes"
Leader of Street Band-"Yah."
American Citizen-"Thin give us
'Wearin' o tn Crane or st. Patrick's
Day in the Mornin'..' "-Brooklyn Life.
CHOW pleasant it is o see husband
and wife of one mind
cit is indeed. There's the Robin
sons for example. She thinks there's
nobody in the world like Robinson, and
he thinks SO too."-Boston Transcript
SULPHUR and birthstone are on the
free list. So is salvation. Now take
your choice.-Greot harrington Neps.
"You look i'll, Michael. Better see
DOCTOR"
"All right, sir; I'll stand on the cor
ner and see all the doctors that come
" Yankee Blade.
LADY Ito applicant for place --"Are
you plain cook?''
Applcant-"Well / s'pose T end he