St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-04-08
THOUGHT TO BE FUNNY.

Publicist-What do you tnlnK OF
young Emperor William?
DipIomat-He has stepped right into
his grandfather's crown. = Chicago
Globe.
Lawyer-If you and your husband
can't agree. why don't you agree to dis
agree? Fair Client (irmly)-Neyer. Ii
I'd agree to disagree he'd think III
Weakened York Weekly.
This House for Sailr the placard read,
And ere there was bid
Kansas cyclone struck the place
-Whiteside Herald.
Agent to Manager-I have singer [
can ommend-beautiful. stylish,
grand dresser. splendid presence. Man
ager-What about her voice? Agent
Do you mean TO say that you require
that. -Fliegende Blaetter.
Employer (yiolently)-l am told that
you are a great liar, SIR; that III IS I'M
possible for you to tell the truth. Is
that so?
Employe (humbly)-I am afraid it IS,
sir.
Employer (radiantly)--Give me your
hand, you have been maiigned. You
can speak the truth.-New York Sun.
"Was there anything in the pockets OF
the deceased?' asked the coroner.
The witness shook his head.
I'VE found bundle of old Louisiana
lottery tickets in his hat" he said, "but
there wasn't anything in his pockets"
And deep sympathetic silence fell
upon the group.-Chicago Tribune.
First NewsbOy--Any luck terday?
Second Newsboy-Luck? Y'd better
b'lieve it. Been selling papers on Wall
N h. I'M Init mo-
fast enough.
"Gee Whitaker What did the papers
have in?'
"All about tn extradition treaty.
New York Weekly.
what is the trouble between you and
your husband?"
.'He makes me jealous of certain
ladies'
SIN what way?"
HE mentioned having met them
when | wasn't with him."
Pooh! They are not the ones to Do
afraid Of"
"Who, then?"
''Those whom he doesn't mention.'-
Chicago Times.
FINS Coronat Opus-"Pool old Pr
quaint is dead"
''Then his ambition is attained"
''What was his ambition"
"To become finished artist. New
York Sun.
Wife (reading)-Here it tells about q
man ninety-two years old who brings
up all the coal and chops all the wood
used in the family. What do you think
of that?
Husband Observation-Disclosures, he
must be fool.-Lowell Citizen.
"What were you about to remark"
"Nothing at all. assure you, replied
Willie Washington.
''But you looked as if you had some'
thing to say"
"Ya-as; I'm verwy deceptive that
way. Pve often thought myself that l
had something to say, and diseovahed
aftah had said it that l hadn't
Washington Post.
FROM THREE sTANDPoINTs.
The hearts sanctuary where repoSes
An image which the lover 'er discloSes.
The hearts a dainty cabinet. alack,
For odds and ends of Cupids brie-a-brac.
The hearts an engine with methodic thud-
A very usiful thing for pumping blood:
Washington Post
THE CUT DIRECT.
Her father is q millionaire,
While a clerk do wait
Yet at the beach Estelle and
Had many tete-a tete.
In town she in her carriage rides
l walk: it seems to me
The difference is that cut silk
While she-well, she cuts me.
Albany Journal.
ALL THE DIFFERENCE IN TIE WORLD.
What's iii name? the poet asks.
I'd add in this relation:
There's penury and affluenee
In one abbreviation.
For, in my seedy student days.
Whene'er had letter.
Twas sure to be bill addressed
To Jonas Smelling, De-"
But now drive dashing pair,
own handsome dwelling.
And letters come with checks addressed
To "Dr. Jonas Smelling"
Smith, Gray Il Co.'S Monthly.