Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-10-01
SNAP SHOTS IN SEASON.
You cannot Judge the dead by the height
and finish of their tombstones.

You cannot judge the dead by the height
and finish of their tombstones.
| How domesticated animals amuse u.s. to be
sure. What would mensgerie amount to
| without monkeys and the elephant What
| would circus be without horses and the trick
mule? Old and young-girls, boys, maideDs
| mothers all really and truly enjoy their exhibi-
tions of sagacity. In fact, they eclipse the
human actors. and call forth heartier applause.
And the dog-the household pet, the true
friend-how his cuteness catches one. In ring
or on stage he outshines his master. Every
trick is cheered. every movement closely noted,
every action criticised. No Kissing groans
for the dog-actor. He Is sure Of warra well
come at all times and under all circumstances.
A bad actor with good dog to help him during
the turn" is covered with glory instead Of
boots. The profession seem to know this, too.
A clever stage dog Is usually accompanied by .
very poor partner. But everything goes, and
doggio keeps the audience in the best of humor.
And what rare intelligence many of these four
legged footlight favor1tes do exhibit. They
knowth cue and seldom blunder In their act,
and evidently strive to merit approval. SEEM
ingiy appreciating the applause. The dog truly
elevates the stage. He furnishes an object
lesson of affection that touches the hardest
heart. The most british nature warns toward
doggle. Perhaps Il g fellow who kicked his
dog yesterday will stay his foot tomorrow. If
the dog drama can accomplish this much, its
mission will be fulfilled. What the stage dog
does, your dog can do. So be kind, patient,
forgiving. Talk to him as You would to child.
You will be surprised when you find what an
apt scholar doggie is. And, beside, he's friend
that will stick to you through thick and thin.
A CHILD laughs when a sunbeam slips
through its fingers. The man who chases q
rainbow and fails to catch it gets gun.
REPUrArIoNs are the heavy stakes in the
game of life.
PRIDE takes fall when the dude slips up on
banana peel.
THESE be piping tjmes-stovs piping times.
NATURAL gas promises to hurt the faith
curer's trade. A Southside cripple, shocked by
little explosion, threw away his crutches and
walked. Self-preservation Is the first law OF
THE purists who want to bounce Longfellow
out Of the schools will probably object to the
Bible before the crusade is over.
THE baseball players will not make a tour of
the world next winter. They will be left on
bases, so to speak,
AFTER giving Europe Buffalo Bill and the
tariff bill America should feel satisfied.
The painters are engaged in brush between
themselves.
CONGRESS bids fair to close scandalously.
CHINA proposes to make q naval display off
the Pacific coast We are not afraid Of Chinese
frecrackers, but her fleet Is not to be sneezed at
THE phonograph cannot reproduce the voice
of Nature.
WHAT becomes of the girls?" is an oft
asked question. Well, a good many of them
are on the variety stage. The craze for silly
burlesques in which shape counts instead of
speech or song has almost cornered the female
help market.
IRON manufacturers are frst-class ores
men.
It's easier to find natural gas than pipe 1t.
Let 1t remain in the generator until the mains
are down, gentlemen.
THE tariff bill will gold plats.tin plate. |
JOHN JARRETT says Pattison is no friend |
of labor. When you tell the coal miners this, ]
John, You are liable to be laughed at
IF the Delamater managers want to identify
x. Y. 2. all they have to do is to sue Emery for |
slander. '-'
CONGRESS will clean up before It adjourns. |
The job will not be thorough unless the Record |
is burned. |
Mr.. PATTIsoN seems to be drawing bigger |
crowds than country fair.
DON'T spoil the park by quarreling over the
entrance acres, guardians.
JUSTICE does not travel with leaden heel |
in Canada. Birchall has been tried, convicted
and sentenced to the gallows in less time than
it takes to secure jury in this country. If
Canada is annexed don't disturb the court
machinery.
THE straw hat shooting season Is here to
stay-also the straw vote fend.
CoLoRED CONGRESSMAN MILLER is getting
there with vengeance. ID has introduced q
resolution asking for quarter Of million to
build monument to the colored soldiers who
went to sleep on a battle field. Mr.. Miller evil
IDENTIFY forgets that the surplus melted while
his contest hung fire.
STAGEsTRUCK girls are disillusioned when
they strike light houses.
OVER u week ago special cable to The
DISPATCH told about a Kentuckian forcing
an insoleut London hotel clerk to publicly
apologize to an assemblage Of Americans. 1t
yesterday morning in some CO.
1t is old enough to wear whiskers
now If you want the news before it's over
ripe, read The DISPATCH,
How doth the busy candidate
Improve each shining hour,
As o'er the State he rides In state
On his great soft-soaping tour!
MORE plants than preserves will be potted by
good housewives this season.
THE bights of the sea shore will not produce
hydrophobia.
The record Of the Johnstown food fund
promises to be as sensational as the Congress
siondI Record. Pity that charity should be
frosted by the breath Of scandal.