The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1890-12-14

Mr.. Francis Pussy was wholesale dealer
in cork. A married man was Pussy, with a
family which indicated by its number the
years of his matrimonial felicity. devout
man was Pussy. The ambition of his youth
had been to win the title of deacon. For
go long time had he dsservedly worn 1t
that his SNUG features and demure whlskers
constituted for many type of that official.
A serious man was Fussy. viewing life
through the moral lenses of Young's Might
Thoughts and Baxter's Saints Rest, "
the two works of fiction that comprised his
library.
And vet Fussy read the newspapers. es-
pecially the sensational newspapers, with
avidity. He thoroughly believed and ap-
proved of all that he read, and justified the
habit with many an unanswerable answer.
'"The freedom of the press,' he was wont
to say, sis the great modern conservator of
virtue, 1t is a scourge for the back OF the
wicked that both law and order demand
should be flourished with the utmost rigor.
If people sin, they must take the conse-
quences. l consider it duty, sacred
duty, sir, to read the daily press, for in that
way know my neighbors as myself"
returned to his home from the warehouse
about 10 O'Clock. Such was his respect for
the Mosaic law that he worked his men
longer and harder upon the last day of the
week than at any other time in order that
the Sabbath might indeed be day of rest
for them. As his boots resounded upon the
oil cloth in the front hallway. his wife, a
model of wan languidity, crept down the
stairs and gazed upon him as though she
would like to speak if she dared.
"Well?" he said sharply.
"Really, my dear, you must go into the
basement and see what is the matter with
our new girl. She has made an awful noise:
she has smashed the crockery; she has
screamed and danced and sung like bedlam
itself: Why, she has frightened baby into
sStuff and nonsense! That child gets too
settle her in no time" The new girl, it may
be promised, had arrived upon the previous
day. She was squat in form; she was
freckled and ford in complexion; her hair
blazed like the stove: her face was Oar
winian argument favoring a pug dog among
essence about her as If she had been for
merly employed in distillery. And yet,
since she had seemed satisfied with work
and wages and had Immediately announced
that baby was "wee purity" both MIR. and
Mrs. Pussy had been convinced that they
had discovered treasure.
Mr.. Fussy's valor was retiring in DISPOSE
ton. It did not press in advance with
pointing digit; 1t rather dragged in
the rear upon his coat tails. He was
not afraid of any living man. All, no;
but crazy female, with fingers that had no
scruples against scratching faces and tear
ing hair, was hardly proper antagonist
manufacturer of repute Still, since it
would not do to allow his wife to suspect
that the authority of years had been merely
bravado, he cautiously descended the base
ment stairs with quivering shanks. What
witch dance was Decorating his decent
floor of crockery, waving on high black
bottle whose very appearance would make
prohibitionist tipsy, and drooning
gaelic melody.
"Whoop!' she yelled defiautly, as she es-
pied her mater. KEN here, ye divil, and
I'll squaze the backbone throo yer stimach
fur yez."
Evidently Mr.. Fussy's anatomy declined
the invitation, for he remained within the
hallway near the stair door. You really
mustn't my good woman" he began.
"Phat,s that. ye spalpeen? Pm none of
Mary Mahony can detind her ahnor." She
made staggering rush forward, and the
coattaila, no longer weighted by valor, dis
appeared.
Mother" gasped Pussy to his wife. who
awaited him upon the second floor: "that
woman is a demon. perfect demon. No
one out you would have been go stupid as
to engage her. I'd :ooner hire an orang-
outrang. Stand on the stoop and hail the
the first policeman. / will guard this pas
sage" He seized an umbrella and held is
open within the narrow stairway. A
guardian of the peace soon relieved him
from his dangerous duty.
there'll be no further racket: She'll GO
isn't it?''
Certainly, the woman ought to be pun
lshed, but do not care to appear in court
against her. Let her 20, if she only will
go?''
When the officer descended with heavy
tread no wild whoop of defiance, no crash
of crockery greeted him, but tears and lam
entatlons and VOWS of innocence. "Och,
officer, darlint, I've been SO abused. Shure,
he's no man at all, at all, to so thrate
poor unprotected girrurl widout friend
this side of the say. It's wakeness hev.
befur kemp out. who yuz tux belize. and
nothln' cured him but crapin on his knees
to the shrine Of Killalee. and sorry his
breeches when he got there, all power to the
saints that alsed his questr'
Come along, now," said the officer, and,
as meek as lamb led to the slaughter, she
went.
Mr.. Pussy now marched boldly down the
stairs. He opened the window and ginger
~ laid upon sidewalk pair of broRans that
might have been made for Patrick Cotter. a
greasy dress, a comb and dilapidated
bandbox held together by strings. Then
he locked up the house and officiated at
family prayers, cheerfully reading a chap
ter from the Book OF Jeremiah.
The next morning he attended church
and passed the collection plate, an act of
distinction which caused the long hair upon
the right side. of his head, which he had
trained to extend over the sterile apex end
join the sparse auxiiaries on the further
decline. to grow rigid with pride. Then he
returned home and caused his nervously
trembling children to pass bad half hour
at dinner; for his suspicious eve was upon
each one, and what each one did or did not
do was sure to be wrong.
And then came the event of the day, The
children were snmmarily dismissed to the
upper story, there to be as miserable as a
dearth of books, playthings, occupation of
every sort, except Biblical enigma upon a
Sunday school card, could make there. His
slippers and dressing gown were donned;