Morning journal and courier., 1890-10-17
PEN AND INK.

It seems as though the literary worker ought to have 6 pension or an ink-um of some kind.-Binghamton Leader.
 The Rev. MT. Squeegee (to Sunday school class)-"Well, children, what did Ananias do9 Johnnie Cute-He wrote the weather reports.-Texas Siftings.
 Mr. Bingo lat Old Point Comfort)-What's the matter, Tommy? Tommy (crying)-I dropped my penny on the floor. Mir. Bingo Never mind. It won't go far. A dollar wouldn't go far in this house.-New York Sun.
 A young woman in Boston has had awig made out of her own hair for her sweet heart, instead of saving it to made . de- captive switch for herself-a case of the moral heroism born of true love.-Phila- delphia Press.
 "Can you not do something for our churchF' asked a Seattle minister of real estate man. "Why, yes, of course. I'm a little short of cash just now, but I'll try to take an hour to hear you preach next Sun day. Seattle Journal.
 Citizen-Yes, have an umbrella that needs mending, but if l let you haveit how am to know that you will bring it backi Umbrella mender-Haf no fear. I always sharge more for mending dan I could sell zee umbrella for.-New York Weekly.
 Buyer (angrilyHSee here. You said the reason you wanted to sell out that store was because you intended to travel. Well, since bought it find that the owner of the building is going to tear it down. Seller-Yes, that's why intended to tray el.-New York Weekly.
 | Husband-What's the matter with the coffee to-dayl Wife-I don't know; didn't make it. Mother-in-law-Neither did I. Cook-I made it. Whats wrong with ita Husband-There's nothing wrong with it. On the contrary, it's the finest coffee ever rtasted.-Fliegende Blaetter.
 The Beauties of yenice.-''Yes, we went all over Europe, but papa really only en- joys himself in Venice!" "Ah, yes, nc wonder! The gondolas, St. Marks, the But he could sit in the hotel, you know, phia Times.
 Wise.-"Why do you always carry two cigar cases" Well, you see, the biaeh one is for those smoke myself, and in tht red one I carry those give to my friends who have forgotten theirs, and I find tha they are not very apt to do that the second time when they are coming to my house. -Fliegende Blatter.
 A Run of Luck.-"And you mean to sa, that your train crossed the chasm wher, the bxidge had burned without beinl wreckedl Remarkablel What kept i from going down"
 sAs good luck would have it, just at tha moment it was being held up by train rob bers. Chicago Post.
 Consistency-"And you will be sure t, come and see me while I am away?" sfWhy certainly, dearest, on the wings of love shall fly to you as soon as I have moments time." ''Shall expect you b, the express traing' ''Well, no, I think shall come by the accommodation. It i very comfortable, you know."-Fiegend Blatter.
 The Enviable West.-Waiter (holdin out his black palm)-Gen'men mostly re members tn waitah, sah, that is, if they i ) gen'men, sah. Guest-impatiently drop king quarter into the fellows fist)- Hem By the way, didn't I once see you in Montana restaurantl Waiter-Yes, sab ] but I soon comed back East, sah. N money in de waitin' business out West Guests mostly goes armed, sah.-Street ( Smiths Good News.