Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1890-09-13
MISS Beer.
Sayings and Doings of the "Old
Maids Club"

''Girls. what can we do to astonish
the community"
The question was asked by Florence
Benson. after a brief interval of silence,
in which five young ladies had been
diligently sewing.
Get married, | suppose" said Pearl
Davenport, the youngest and prettiest
of the group. Il think that would as
tonish folks generally"
Get married, indeed! | wouldn't
marry any man in this town, at all
events" said Nelly West ~ went
down to the store last night after some
thread, and had to thread my way
no pun acknowledgement two rows OF
representative benedicts. There was
Judge Armstrong, with pipe as long
as my arm, his yellow hair standing
out twenty-four ways for Sunday, and
droning platitudes on law to Father
Kelley, who sat astride a barrel of
vinegar, let us hope-listening with
sleepy eyes, and a toOth-pick between
his lips! There were the Barry's, father
and son, hugging the stove, enveloped
in thick cloud of cigar-smoke; indeed,
the whole male population seemed to
be there, chatting each other, Longing
against the counters, and looking so
lazy and listless, while their wives were
working at home like beavers, I'll be
bound. No, l thank you," and the girl
shook her head with humorous decision.
You were the one to suggest the
matter" said a comedy, dark-eyed girl,
pausing in perplexity over an unfinished
buttonhole, and surveying it with a
comical look of distress, 80 you must
invent the something that is going to
astonish this slow-going town. know
one thing, the poor children of this par
ish should necer wear buttons, if could
help it."
why, what would you substitute?'
asked Florence Benson
Strings, everywhere" was the i'm
patient reply.
And then bag with a string to put
them in, poor little thirgs!" said Miss
Benson. Here, give it over to me; |
ing, l hope we none of US really care to
marry just now. What say you, Ada
Humphries2 I'm going to take the
sense of the meeting as Elder Doddy
puts it. You are to be a doctor, and
need every minute of your time to study
anatomy and medicine. Nelly West,
your ambition points to art, and the
faint hope of having picture hung on
the line at the academy some day in the
g,
you have had several stories accepted
by the magazine, and what is better
paid for. We look to you for the forth
coming great American novel You,
Miss Beck, having kept the 'de-stric'
school for nearly five years, it would be
sheer stupidity in you to allow any one
else to take your place, for we all know
that teachers, like poets, are born, not
made. Besides, you are the oldest, and
at the ripe age of twenty-five you sure
ly ought to be able to advise US. Now,
girls, l will present my scheme, and
please don't faint any of you. | pro-
pose that we form an old maids club. :"
"Well, that is original, and rather re-
freshing," said Pearl Davenport, arch
ing her pretty eyebrows till they met
the fluffy bangs of yellow hair that
curled naturally and becomingly over
her white forehead.
81 1ilso- tho daa- y Molly W.T.
at will prove to the people that We
have distinct purpose in life, that Of
qualifying ourselves for especial fields
of usefulness
What shall we do at the club?"
asked Ada HUMPHREYS.
THAT is an after consideration, said
the first speaker, laughing There are
some things we won't do. We won't
compare love-letters, anyway, or talk
about our neighbors any more than is
necessary for their good, nor Islander
the 'horrid' men. We can determine on
our plans for the future, read, recite,
sing and have good time generally, all
to ourselves. | don't suppose we shall
have many new mem bers, but we don't
care for that. We will pledge ourselves
to each other, as the ladies famous in
history, Lady Emily Butler and Miss
Sarah Ponsonby, did At all events,
we can promise that we won't be mar
ried for year, and at the end of that
time renew the pledge, if practical l."
I'm agreed" said Miss Beck, show
ing small, lV1even teeth as she spoke.
81 hope you don't think | would burden
any man with such bundle of ailments
and nerves as | am, and I'm only wait
ing for Ada HUMPHREYS to come out a
full-hedged doctor with a diploma to
put myself into her hands. when she
may kill or cure me, l don't much care
which"
well, girls" said Ada HUMPHREYS
the doctor-to be, If you are waiting for
my verdict, | like the idea very much.
Of course people will talk, but if l I'M
derstand Alright we none of US care for
that, as the community is waiting to be
astonished. We settled all about peO-
pie in general, and Miss Namely in par
ticular, some time ago. give my vote
in favor of the club. We all intend to
set the river on fire-that is if grass ever
grows in it, and | don't know why we
should not have a distinctive society
with taking name. We can reform the
world in altogether better style if the
gentlemen don't bother u.s." she laugh
ingly added.
The result of this conference was that
the club was formed then and there
And such gossip as followed! The
young ladies, all of them of high social
distinction, who had taken up the cross,
as the Daily Advocate put it, were the
observed of all observers. But the club
prospered for all that. For five wears
they kept together, and the members
raade fame and money, all but poor