davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Workmen's advocate., 1890-05-17
CHINESE WIT AND HUMOR

The Celestials Can Appreciate Fun, as
 May Be Seen In a Few Selected Jokes.
 The Chinese have a large volume called the Book of Laughter, which contains a full selection of anecdotes and jests current in the Middle Kingdom. Genl. Cheng-Ki-Tong, ghdrge q ataTes of China at Paris, has recently published translation of some of these Chinese jests. Many of them are very comical, possessing even in translation a pecu liarly dry humor, and some of them prove that jokes and anecdotes well known in the West are also classic in China.
 There is, for instance, the very familiar story of the nervous man who lived be- tween two blacksmiths-only in this Chinese version one of them is copper smith. The nervous man tries to induce the two noisy artisans to move, and one day they announce that they have made dTTdDRenels IO uo SO.
 Overjoyed the man treats them to a magnificent dinner, and after they have partaken of it the blacksmith in- forms him that he is going to move into the coppersmith's shop and the copper smith into his.
 Less familiar is the story of worthy | old man who WAS unmercifully beaten, at regular intervals, by his undutiful son. This cruel treatment did not pre- vent the man from lavishing caresses on his little grandson, bringing him many presents and indulging all his caprices.
 One day the old man was asked why | he was so very good to the child of the undutiful son who beat him so cruelty.
 "Shr' said the old man; I'm spelling him, so that he'll beat his father when | he grows up|
 According to another story miser had | three sons-in-law; one was tailor an | other jeweler, and the third a spend thrift, who did nothing at all One day the miser called the third son-in-law and said to hiru:
 "See here Your two brothers-in. law are thrifty men, and are gradually adding to the famil" fortune; the tailor by cabbaging a little of his Customers cloth now and then, you know-bless you, they don't know it-and the jew eler-well, by debasing the jewelry just little, don't you see. But your exclaimed the mIser, what do you dO:'
 "Father-in-la law said the never-do, well, you say we'll Give me a crow bar; l will go out, and, watching my chance, will break in merchants doors open their tills and bring you bacl
Workmen's advocate., 1890-05-17
New York American Section $. l.. P.

The above section had business meet ing at the Labor Lyceum last Monday. Four new members were proposed; the propositions were laid over to the next meeting. At the request of the German Section Comrades Bordollo and Christorf were elected to cooperate with similar committees of the German and Jewish Sections in making arrangements for an 11tu of November memorial demonstra- tion under the auspices of the Socialist Labor Party. An invitation was received from the Brooklyn American Section for its Pic-Nic and Summernights-F Festi. val to be held at the Brooklyn Labor Lyceum 6l-67 Myrtle street, on June 7th. The invitation was accepted and it was resolved to take part in body and with banner.
 A circular letter received from the National Executive Committee as to the party organs was laid over to the next meeting, as also all the applications for memberships and various other impor- tant matters. The next meeting is to take place next Monday, May 18th, at the Labor Lyceum; all members are to be notified to attend. H. V.
Workmen's advocate., 1890-05-17
DIRECTORY OF AMERICAN SECTION

BALTIMORE Meeting every Sunday at o'clock D, at Turner Hall, 4i6 k. Baltimore street; free discussion every meeting. Ira Dean 1104 K. Preston ,treet. Organizer, G. Fleisch man, l422 Bank street. BosToN, ss-Public agitation meetings at c. A. k. Hall, 616 Washington street, every Sun. day evening at 730 o'clock. Free to all Business meetings, first Monday evenings in each month, at Nassau St. Organizer, P. F. O'Neil 45 Everett street. Charlestown Rec. Secretary, E, k. Miller, Adams street, Cambridge
 BRooKLYs-Ameriean Section meets every Tues, day evening at the Labor Lyeeum organ izer, Leonard BurRer, 251 Wallabout st. CHICA6o-Business meeting every sunday af- ternoon, 2 o'clock at Greif's Hall a Lake street. Public agitation meetings ever ' Sunday at lungs Hall, l06 Randolph street, Organizer, Bernhard Berlyn, 1l26 Green st, Eng'ewood, Cook Co.,, III. LYNN, hus.-Organizer, George K. Peare, Sl Jefferson street.
 Meetings, every second and fourth Mon days in each month. Business Meetings, every first and third Monday Organizer, P. Pedersen, P. o. Box 101. NEW YoRK.-American section: Agitation meet ings every Monday evening at 25 East Fourth street. Organizer, August Delabar, % East Fourth street
 NEW HAVEN, CoNE.-Meetings at the New Hall, second house from corner State and Chapel sts. Entrance from State st M. Ruther, S4 Broad st., Organizer NEW ORLKAHs-Meeting every first Sunday in month in the house of Comrade Beck, 105 Bordeaux st.
 PHILADELPHIA PA. Agitation meetings every Tuesday evening at Morning Star Hall, northeast corner of Ninth and CalOwhill streets. Secretary, Jul Necker, 4il Vine street Organizer, W. H. Bishop, 9l9 Sar. tain street.
 PHuA DELPHIA. PA-Flemish Section meets First Sunday in each month at the Labor Lyceum, Al N. 5th st. De Bruyn, 1915 Warnock st, PBILL DELPHIA, PA.-French Branch meets every second Sunday at g30 a, m. at Aschbarher' Hall, corn. Oriana and Somerset sts. -IsidoI CnoCkaert, Sec'y., S0ls 4th st PROVIDENCE. R I-Meeting first Sunday of each month o'clock D. m. slades Building Room 22. Organizer, Franklin Burton, Sampson ay.
 SACRAMENTO, CAL.-Meets every Tuesday even iEe at 730 o'clock at Humboldt Hall, cor Ninth and streets Organizer, L. C. Fry 5i5 street
 WALTHAM Mass.-PUblIc meeting every week \. k. VaTney. Organizer. 5B High st. Mrs Mary Canning, Rec Sec'y, 2b Liberty st. WEs7 SUPERIOR, Wisc.-Meetings every week organizer, F. o, Box 253 The Directory of sixty German Amercan Sec tlons will be found in DER sozIAI.ur.
Workmen's advocate., 1890-05-17
Washington Nati0nalists.

At a meeting of Nationalist Club No. l of Washington, D. C., held on We'd nesday of last week, George w. Spier delivered a lecture on "Trade Unionism ana Nationalism" He reviewed the labor movement in this country, show ing the part that the k. of l.. had acted in advancing new ideas and breaking down the old barriers between trades. lie admired the international character Of the present movement and observed that the internationalism of organized capital led necessarily to the interna- tlonalSm of organized labor. National lsts, he said, should ground themselves ln their principles, then go among the wage-workers and join their labor or ganlZatlon The immense strides which Natlonalism has made in the short time of Its existence are wonderful, he said {; but they onl y show that the country was ripe for a change of economic system. The old parties cannot long stand the storm of economic thought that is being poured into them. All these things are preparing for a new party, and all pre- sent will live to see the beginning of the new state.
 Mesrs. Bowen, McCreery and Pechin were appointed to present the side of Natlonaism in debate with the Young Mems Christian Association to take place Saturday evening, the 17th inst, , at the rooms of the Association.
Workmen's advocate., 1890-05-17
$40.00

The report was adopted and the Ma tional Secretary instructed to communi- cate with comrades or sections at the following places with view of arrang' ing second trip through New England, Manchester, Adams, Holyoke, Worces- ter, New Bedford and Taunton. All socialists and readers of this paper de- string to organize section of the s. l.. P at their place and willing to issue the call for an agitation meeting, are re- quested to communicate with the Ma. tional Secretary. Sections Union Hill and Morisania were supplied with speak CTS. A proposition from the managing board of the party press was laid over for week The former 18th Ward Branch, Section of Kings County, re- dent as Section Williamsburg and re-
 quested the Executive Board to grant a charter. It was resolved to proceed ac
 cording to the constitution. Comrade Phil. Rappaport of Indianapolis declined to undertake an agitation trip through tho West on account of ill health. Sec tion Dayton, Ohio, reported having joined the party again and asked for a speaker. The National Secretary was instructed to invite Comrade Keitel of Cleveland, Ohio, to visit Dayton and surrounding places for the Executive Board. German communications from New Bedford, Rochester and Camden, N' J., were ordered to be printed in Der Socialist. It was resolved to furnish to all sections if desired, one thousand platforms and soclal political demands" at the price of $2 %, to be used as hand bills for the call of meetings. Further communications from Albany, Bing
 hampton, N. Y., and Waltham, Mass, were read and disposed of. c. s.
Workmen's advocate., 1890-05-17

The receipt of a sample copy of this paper is an invitation to subscribe.
Evening capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1888-1893, 1890-02-28
Story of a Ker of Nails.

A Haitford Comm lady tells this true
relation concerning her ancestor, who was
a direct descendant of John Eliot, the great
missionary and scholar. This lady lived in
New Haven, and had occasion to send to
Boston for number Of kegs Of nails, New
Haven at that time (about 1863 not pro-
ducing these necessarics. In due time tn.
kegs arrived, and, on opening them, it was
discovered that one was filled with Spanish
dollars. The family wrote to the Boston
merchant, telling him that one of the kegs
held something more valuable than nails
He replied that he had bought them for
nails, and his responsibility Herewith end
ed. Well, they were kept among the fam
lily treasures for many years untouched and
unclaimed until the death Of the head Of
the house, who, in her will, ordered that
they be melted and cast into communion
service for the New Haven church, which
was done, and it is still probably in use.
Evening capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1888-1893, 1890-02-28
wonders Of Philosophy.

The polypus, like the fabled hydra, re-
ceiyes new life from the knife lifted TO de-
stroy it. The Gy spider lays an egg as long
as itself. There are four thousand and
forty-one muscles in the caterpillar. Hook
discovered fourteen thousand mirrors in thl
eye of orone; aud TO effect the respiration
Of carp, thirteen thousand three hundred
arteries, vessels, veins, bones, etc, are
necessary. The body of every spider con-
tains four little masses pierced with a mul-
titude OF lmperceptible holes, each hole per
mitting the passage Of a single thread, all
the threads TO the amount Of thousand 10
each mass, join together when they come
out, and make the single thread with
which the spider spins its web; so that
what we call the SPIDERS thread consists OF
more than four thousand united.
Evening capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1888-1893, 1890-02-28
A BRAlNY BRAKEMAN,
How a Green Country Boy Made His Wa
IN the World.

How n Green Country Boy Made His Way
| IN the World.
| 1t was only few years ago, says the
Washington Post that green country boy
| applied to Division Superintendent Hitch
cock, of the Galesburg division of the Chi
cago, Burlington & Quincy railroad, for
work Mr.. Hitchcock could set him al
nothing but brazing on freight train, an(
dislil1ed TO give such work to him becaus,
of the lads youthful appearance and the
dangers besetting that vocation. The boy.
| however, pleadc1 until he secured the en-.
| ployment. On one of his first trips, if no
| indeed the very first, it CHANGED that hi.
train met another freight train ut a station
where the side-tracl1 was not long enoug!
to accommodate either. The conductor,
were discussing the question which trah
should back up 10 point where they coult
pass, when the green boy ventured to sug
get that neither need back up; that they
could pass by means of tn short side tracl
if they worked it right. This CONSIGNED
good deal OF laughter on the part OF the
older and more experienced trainmen, but
the boy insisted he could work the trains
by each other.
swell, how would you go about it9"
asked one of the conductors, confident that
the lad would soon be up stump The boy
took up stick and traced in the sand a di
agram of how he would do 1t.
"By thunder. or worse, said the conduct
or, II believe that will do it."
They tried it and it did do it. To-day
every trainman in America probably knows
how to "saw by'' two long trains on a short
side track but until that inexperienced
country boy worked it out of his noddle the
practice on the old 20" road had been for
trains either TO avoid meeting at such
ints or, when they CHANGED to meet, for
one of them to run back to a longer side
track.
That boy is G. H. Chappell, and he is gen.
eral manager of the Chicago, Alton & st.
Louis road, which when he took hold of it
few years ago was little more two streaks
of rust and right of way, but which is
now one of the best equipped and success
full lines in the West.
We don't know what has become of the
trainmen who laughed at the green country
boy. We don't know whether they are
watching crossings or have given up rail-
reading altogether.
Evening capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1888-1893, 1890-02-28
A MISSOURI ROMANCE.
How Pretty Typewriter Girl Won
Wealthy Young Mans Lave.

How n Pretty Typewriter Girl Won q
Wealthy Young Mans Love.
I A pretty little romance is rounding into
shape in the office of an investment com
| pany in this city, says the Kansas City
/ Times. A handsome and worthy young lady
/ typewriter and young man OF substantial
business standing, of good habits and pleas
mt place, arc the parties to it. An aged
and rather well-to-do widower, who lives in
suburban town, had good deal of busi-
ness with the investment company and was
tlvoraoly taken with the typewriter letters
that he had from the company. 'eThese
things are gotten up in good shape" said
he, land I'd like to see the one that com.
poses 'em. They are easy to re ID and are
to the point" The old gentlcman's son, by
way OF joke, told his father that hand
some young woman prepared the letters,
and that she was the sweetest and most
practical girl on earth. The old man
said little, but began an investigation, and
at the Office of the company was directed
TO rougish young woman, who admitted
the authorship of the letters. The old
man meant business and very promptly
and pointedly told her that she would
win good homse and a snug fortune by
marrying him. The young woman would
not make positive reply, but to carry on
the joke gave tacit assent to the old boys
suit About this time word was conveyed
to the son who had sought to be funny with
his father that the old gentleman and the
young woman had really serious intentions.
He then set about to stop it. Going to the
young woman, he said to her in his matter.
of-fact way that he was decidedly opposed
to marriage between her and his father;
that he had money Of his own and would
gladly contribute any reasonable sum that
she might name rather than have the mar
rage take place. This was the first intima-
tion that the young woman had that the af-
fair was growing serious enough to be
looked upon as certainty by the old gen.
tleman's family. She very frankly con-
fessed to the solicitous son of the aged
swain that she had only been romancing
and that he need not fear that she would
take the office of step-mother to him. In
this interview both were Enthusiastically
pleasant and frank and they parted good
friends and so on. The young man found it
necessary to call again and again, and the
young typewriter welcomed him cordially
each time. And so visits have gone on, and
the friendship has grown into love between
them, and here is the romance This ex-
plains why wealthy young man is soon to
marry pretty typewriter girl.
Evening capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1888-1893, 1890-02-28
REWARDS OF INVENTORS.
Fortunes Realized from tho Barbed Wire
and Grain Binder Patents.

Fortunes Realized from tho Barbed Wire
and Grain Binder Patents.
The ups and downs of inventors are re-
markable, especially the ups, says W. II.
Osmer in the ST. Louis GlobeDemocrat.
While acting as patent solicitor several
instances came 10 my notice. The barbed
wire patents, which have netted fortunes
to their owners, have an interesting
history. The first patents were issued 0
man named Kelly, living down East About
two years later farmer at De Kalb, ILL.,,
conceived the idea of keeping his unruly
cattle in the pasture by putting short barJs
Of WIRE and then twisting it with plain
wire. This is known IN the market as
Glidden wire, being named after its in
ventor, Joseph II. Gidden. One day while
he was experimenting with it a neighbor
going by shouted: ''Joe you better be out
harrerin, IN your oats instead Of foolin'
away your time with patents" Glidden
thought otherwise, and in less than two
years received bonus Of 10000, with the
guarantee of a royalty on all made under
his patents. For the year 1881 his royal
ties exceeded SlI4O00, The Appleby grain
binder, which, in being perfected, bank
rupted the owners, Appleby, Parker, Stone
and Bishop, By q loss OF $4,000, eventually
came 10 the surface with Sl50,O00 for each
of the owners, while its present owners
have realized over 100000. In this rec
ord, however, the fact should not be lost
sight OF that hundreds Of inventors in this
and other lines have wasted the best years
Of their lives, and as many capitalists
have witnessed the fading Of their last do
lar IN schemes that never "panned."
Evening capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1888-1893, 1890-02-28

A desperate San Francisco spinster OF
uncertain age, possessed Of much wealth
and little beauty, agreed TO give a marriage
bureau llOO 10 secure her husband. Forty
dollars was paid down. A marriage re-
suited, but the remaining SEQ was not paid,
whereupon the proprietress Of the bureau
sued for ls5 for services rendered. This
included the unpaid go, 500 for board and
lodging and $50 Tor a wedding breakfast
Ihe bride, 10 avoid notoriety, compromised
BY paying go.
Evening capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1888-1893, 1890-02-28

Fast trains with Pullman Nestibule
Drawing room sltepers, dining cars and
; coaches OF latest design, between C,hicag"
and Milwaukee and st. Paul and Mime
ap0lis. .,,..,.,
FAST Trains with Pullman vestibuled
drawing room seepers, dining ears aud
coaches of latest design, between Chicago
and Mi ilwaukee aud Ashland aud Dululh.
rhrIngh Pullmhn vestibule drawing
nom and cOlonist sleepers VIA the Norlh D,
ern Pacific railroad between Chicago and
Portland, Or. -. I,..,..,,
Convenient trains 10 and rom Eastern
Western. Northern and central Wiseon-
sin points, affording unequaled service 20
and from Wuukeshn Fond du Lac, Osh
kOsh. Neenah. Menesha, chippewa rams
Fan Claire, Hurley, Wis, and lronwood
and Bessemer, Mlrh. .,
For tickets, sleeping car reservations
time tables and other Information, apply
10 agents anywhere in the United states
or r1Snnda II. q. BARLOW,
Gen1 Traffic Mgr.
s.H AINSLIE. Gen'l: Mgr. .,,,
LOUIS ECKSTEIN,
Asst GenI PasS'r and Tkt AgL' Mil"ae
kee WIS.
Evening capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1888-1893, 1890-02-28

lie nichpu's Golden Balsam RIO.
Clrcs Cha?cres, frs: and cond stare
Srostn the Legs and B>dy; Sore Ea
Iyes, Nose, etc, Coppcr-c lor d Biotche
yphilitic Cat1r.h, iseased Scalp. and
Urinary fo-ns OF the disease known 4
Syphilis. Pric", '5 co per BOstIs
l., Richau's G Id,'n BaIsnm No.
ures-Terti"ry, Mcrcuria' Syphi.itic Rhet
latism, PaiD7 in tho Bones, Pains IN III
lead, back Ct the Neck, liberated Sol
hroat, Syph.lit,c Fash, Jumps and con
tacted Cor's, Stiffness OF the Limbs. an
Indicates al scaso from the system
Ihethcr caused by ind scrction or abus
Mercury, leaving the b. )od pure an
ealthy. P"i"e 5 90 poe ottIe,
L. htcbnU' Golden - nnish An 4
Toto for to cure Of Gono-rhpa. elect
rritaticn Gravel, and all Urinary or Ccni
bottle.
lIichau'I Golden Spantsh In.
,"Ctt'n rs}vere cases OF G. onorrhca
7a4mm tn y { lect, Strictur sac. Erie,
Il per EottIe.
l. Ric canu's Golden O'I1frnen,
or te cd ct We hcn!,ngof Sy1hi,.tic sars,
and eruN:.ons. Price 81 Con BOX
10 ] ich"u'S CoIde FL -Ncrv,
and Bra u treatment; loss o. physl al pow
r excess or ovcr-wor,s. ! rostnation, etc
Price So 90 per BCx.
pIic PI-u Eervinc,
SAt everywhere, c. o. D., securely packt
per express
c r. RICHAlI' - {; CO., Agent
~ G4I9 Sansnme street, orner Cl1y,
S'I T-ancisco. Cal.
CIRCULAR HAILED FREE
Evening capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1888-1893, 1890-02-28
Conservatory Of Music

Ofthe Willamette Univer ity salem, o.
g.. the most successful Music school
tht Northwest Coast. Courses IN nusle q
eQlli 20 Eastern music schOpis. Yearly
teEiance OF nearly one hundred aud in
Fha able corps ufteaohers for the eoni
sob Mi wear will be Prof. Il. VI. PaV
Lena Willis, Miss Eva Cox; assiSla
teachers. Miss Lulu NJ. smith, Miss Ha
Pafish and Miss Mamie Parvin.
hnnches tAughtare Vocal Culture, ria,
0rhn, Violin, Pipe Organ harmo
N9,interpoint, and Class Ieachnlg.
end for catalogue ana circular.
M PARVTN. 7-2jd Sm-wll
, 1890-10-14
THE HIGHEST TRIBUNAL
Organization of the Supreme Court
of the State.
MIR. Van neyanter is Chief---Cona-
way Has the Long Term.
r. H. Repath Appointed Clerk and
Maj. Talbot BaiIiff.

The supreme court of the state of
Wyoming is organized and ready for
business, though a session will not be held
for some time yet.
Willis Vandevater is chief Justice, Fl.
V. s. Groesbeck next in line of success.
sion and Asbury B. Conway the senior.
The terms of service. which are four,
six and eight years, were settled by lot at
the capitol Yesterday and it is said the re-
suit could not have been more satisfactory
to all concerned if it had been reached by
mutual agreement. Willis Vandevater
is chief justice by virtue of being the
short term member.
Besides providing for the election and
terms the constitution says that the su-
preme court shall have general appellate
Jurisdiction, co,extensive with the state, in
both CIVIL and criminal causes and shall
have a general experimenting control
over all inferior courts under such rules
and regulations as may be prescribed by
law. The supreme court shall have origi-
nal jurisdiction in quo waranto and man
damus as to all state officers, and in ha-
bea corpus. The supreme court shall also
have power to issue writs of mandamus,
review, prohibition. habeas corpus, GER
t%iorari, and other writs necessary and
proper to the complete exercise of its ap-
pellate and r~evisory Jurisdiction. Each
of the Judges shall have power to issue
Wrifa of haheas cornrS 70 .ox e A.
state upon petition by or on behalf of a
person held in actual custody, and may
make such wrlts returnable before himself
or before the supreme court, or before
n district court of the state or any
judge thereof.
A majority of the justices of the su
preme court shall be necessary to consti-
tute a quorum for the transaction of bus
mess.
In case a judge of the supreme court
shall be in any way interested in a cause
brought before such court the remaining
judges of said court shall call one of the
district judges TO sit with them on the
hearing of said cause.
AT least two terms of the supreme
court shall be held annually at the seat of
government at such times as may be pro-
vided by law.
No person shall be eligible to the Office
OF justice of the supp m court unless he
be learned in the law, has been IN actual
practice at least nine years, or whose
service on the bench of any court OF
record when added to the time he may
have practiced law shall be equal to nine
years, be at least thirty years of age and
a citizen OF the United States, nor unless
he shall have resided in this state or ter
ritory at least three years.
There shall be a clerk Of the supreme
court, who shall be appointed by the
justices of sald court, and shall hold his
office during their pleasure, and whose
duties and emoluments shall be as pro-
vided by law.
The salary of a Judge OF the supreme
court is to be fixed by the legislature.
Richard Fl. Repath, the stenographer,
was appointed clerk of the supreme
court. His compensation is to be named
by the assembly. Maj. John Talbot was
appointed bailiff.