Rock Island daily Argus., 1890-09-15

ity, and now know as much useful knowl-
edge as many men who are twice my
age knows.
81 want to know more about banquets,
and how TO appear and speak at them.
We think Of having one here soon. /
wish you would give me a few points, for
you certainly must be authority on these
things. Will you answer through the
papers, so as that others which may wish
to know more of this matter may also
have the opportunity
Success in life is not due so much to
inherent genius as it is to the ability to
go TO the right place for what you want
to know. You have shown the first
qualification necessary tosuccess, Osten-
sible, and you deserve to win. You may
be in rather a nebulous and gummy
state mentally, but you know where to
go for information anyhow.
Banquets, according to Hills Manual
of Penmanship, Calisthenics, Etiquette,
Common Law and Diseases of Horses"
''are given in honor either of some not
ed occasion or some distinguished for
eigner or prominent citizen, generally
by an organization or association of
men,"
The guest of the evening may be read
iy discovered by his i'll concealed an
guish. He smiles on all with the same
bright and bubbling joy that is felt by a
man who canvasses the internal regions
in the interests of large powder works,
carrying his samples with him from
point to point. He tries to jot down a
few thoughts on the back of menu,
sweetens his consomme and tries TO look
tickled, but the horror of his own fer
menting thoughtworks and the sharp
prongs on his unborn speech take away
his appetite, and his bright, automatic
smile, frozen upon his white features,
looks like the mirth on the face of an
ice cream Judas Iscariot
Every banquet has its presiding of
ficer, who may or may not be gifted in
that way. Some men are born banquet
ing, some acquire banqueting, while
Others have banqueting thrust upon
them. 1t is so with presiding. Some
presidents will make even the guest feel
comfortable, while others seem to be
placed at the head of the table to keep a
tally of the grub consumed. A gener-
GUS and hOspitable heart cannot be ac-
quired just as we are about to fork over
our souls to the great grand jury at the
end of life, and so no mar -an oy the
mere acquisition of property or position
alter his entire disposition in the after
noon of his existence. You have no
doubt visited at houses, Mr. Peterson,
Nuhara fha host caoTnaJ to hunor m, at-ar,y
word you said, but kept moving the
cuspidore around with you wherever
you went for fear you might lapse into
barbarism at any moment and spit behind
the lounge. You have visited doubtless,
Ostensible, at places where the entire
visit was gentle reproach to you, where
the host made it easy for you by exam
pie 30 that you would know what finger
bowls and such things were used for.
1 have.
Possibly there is an air about me
which tempts people of great refinement
to watch me nervously while eat, and
keep their more toothsome children out
of my reach. / am plain man, born in
obscurity-in the dark of the moon-but
when my friends visit me do not watch
the furniture with apprehension when
they use it, or start up wildly when an
overwrought chair cracks.
However, | will make one exception
We have at home, rather against my
wishes, what is called reception chair
You have seen them, no doubt, Ostensi-
BILE. 1t is really trick chair. 1t looks
well in the bay window of a furniture
store, and for any other but sitting pur-
poses is quite a success. / sat in it once,
without permission, however, and it
took me three weeks to get back within
sight of the throne of grace. 1t is q
slight, nervous, sanguine chair, with
Queen Anne back and Sarah Bernhardt
limbs to it. 1t does not weigh over a
pound when in condition, and should be
given to guest who does not know
enough to go home until filed with
No. 2 bird shot
But we were speaking of the gift of
entertaining was about to say the
divine gift of entertaining for it is, if
successful, quality that cannot be ac-
quired. Acquired politeness when not
associated with natural unselfshness
cannot fool any one but the meaty and
obtuse. | know of a man who will go
along for days and days without violat-
ing rule, and then he will forget him
self at table and imagine that he is feed
ing the same old J. l. Case threshing
machine that he fed in his younger
DAYS
Banqueting is sometimes carried to ex-
cess, but the more you banquet the bet
ter you can do it finally. Take me and
Gen. Sherman, for instance. We ereally
do not save cent by the meals we take
that way. for we are getting SO that we
eat very little at banquets. He used to
like good many rich victuals, and 80
did /, but now we take the plain cooking
or nothing. / used to eat red sweet
cake and green ice cream good deal at
first as the guest of the evening, but now
wait till the bacon and pone comes
around, and then eat very little else un-
less stewed currants should be served
If so eat some of them ON my bread,
washing this down with glass of old
Rhenish buttermilk.
On taking your seat at table you will
find at the side of your plate bouquet,
or buttonhere, as the French call it,
which is not to be eaten, but inserted in
the lapel of the coat. If there should be
no hole in your coat suitable for this
purpose do not with your claspknife jab