Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1890-03-28
Mr.. AND M9S. BOWSER.

HOu AhAs III" "oNh iOoOuCo uOtuO'
He will let himself in at the front
door, hang up his coat and hat,
walk through to the sitting room
aud seeing me on the lounge with
my head tied up will gaze ct me
for a full minute without speaking.
Then he will finally remark:
"Didn't l tell you sor'
"What ~
"You got your feet wet"
"Oh, no, Mr.. Bowser."
"Tben you went out bareheaded,
or you have been eating ice.cream
or some other balderdash."
"On the contrary, l have been
very, very careful"
"Oh, yes, you women are always
very, very careful. If a giant was
to expose himself the way you do
he'd be dead in six months. Had
the doctor n
"No."
"That's it! Want to let the
typhoid fever get hold of you, don't
youi What's DR.. -'s telephone
number 7"
"Don't call a doctor. My head
is much better than 1t was, and l
shall be all right to. morrow"
"Woll, if you are not pIl call two
of them and have you taken to the
hospital. 1 have no pity on any
one who will 60 sloshing around
the way you do. Was intending
to 90 to the theater to night, and
here l come home and find you
dattened out, perhaps to develop
case of yellow fever or small
pox."
Mr.. Bowser goes tramping around
to find fault with his supper, with
the cook, with the baby. with the
furnace and with everything else
which he happens to think Of, and
the evening is rendered very cheer
ful and happy.
If happened to be looking down
the street when Mr.. Bowser gets
off the car can tell whether be has
the headache or not. He comes
sIumping along, arms hanging
down, eyes on the sidewalk, and as
[ open the door for him be growlt
out:
"Lemme git on to that lounge az
soon as possible"
"Why, what's the matter !"
"Pm next door to death y
"Have you been hurt, Mr.. Bow
~
"No. Got q headache. Whole
top of my head Is loose. 1 think
am dyingl"
1 help him of with his coat, ge
him up, and then 1 can't help say
ing: "Didu't l tell you so !"
"W-what n
"You'ye been careless again
You sat in your Office with you
feet out OF the window, or you hell
a chunk of ice on your lap, or yo'
stood In a puddle of water in you
bare feet. It's a wonder to M
that any man lives to the age o
thirty"
900 O Oh y he groans.
"rhat's 1t! Got the blacl
plague or Asiatic cholera hold o
you, probablyl l wss going over t.
Mrs. Cato's tonight to q progres
sive euehrs, but this spoils it al
I'll have three doctors up ate
tea, aud have the ambulance com
at the same tlme."
Then Mr.. Bowser sheds tears
and 60 and heat a brick for hl
feet, tie a towel around his head
! send the baby up stairs and sto
the clock so that nothing may al
noy him.
1 don't suppose that one husoan
N a hundred sets ont to find fanI
around the house. It's just the
way, You know. They are bos'
aud they feel that they must kee
this fact duly impressed on th
minds of their wires. No husban
is ever to blame tor any accider
about the house. The wife alwsJ
is. For instance, . water PIP
down in the basement burst II
other day. Mr.. Bowser got hoG
lust ss was about to telepor
him.
"Plpe busted Who busted 1t
he shouted, as he pulled Oh hl
overcoat.
"why, no one.'
"Yes, they did Wster pip
don't bust without help ! Some
you have been knocking on tn
pipe with a hammer"
l went down and showed hi
r that the leak was at a point whe
none of us could possibly reach
# but he replied:
n .Well some of You are certain