The Newberry herald and news. (Newberry, S.C.) 1884-1903, 1890-03-13
MIR. AND MRS. SOWSEIs.
He Crosses Bridges Before Reaching Them,
Making Him Cross at Home.

Mrs. Bowser in Detroit Free Press.
When | have a sick headache I know
exactly what will happen when Mr..
Bowser reaches home. He Will let
: himself in 1T the front door. hang up
his coat and hat, walk through to the
sitting room and seeing ME on the
lounge, with my head tied up, will
gaze at me for full minute without
speaking. Then he will finally re-
mark:
''Didn't tell you so?
What ~
"I'ou got your feet wet"
"Oh, no, Mr.. Bowser."
! "GheD you went out bareheaded,
or YOU have been eating ice cream or
some other balderdash."
"On the contrary, I have been very,
very careful"
"Oh, yes, you women are always
very, very careful. If a giant was to
| expose himself the way you do he'd
! he dead in six months. Had the doc
| tor?'
"No.r
"That's it! Want to let the typhoid
fever get hold Of you, don't you ?
What's DIS telephone number ?"
'Don't call a doctor. My head is
much better than it was, and I shall
I've all right Tomorrow"
We'll, if you are not I'll get two of
them and have you taken to the hos
pital. l have no pity on any one who
will go sloshing around the way you
do. | was intending to go to the the
atre tonight, and here I come home
and 1attened out, perhaps to develop
yellow fever or smallpox"
Mr.. Bowser goes tramping around to
find fault with his supper, with the
cook; with the baby, with the furnace
and with everything e.se which he
happens to think of, and the evening
is rendered cheerful and happy.
Ii / happen to be looking down the
street when Mr.. Bowser gets off the
car l can tell whether he has head
ache or not. He comes slumping
along, arms hanging down, eyes on the
sidewalk, and as I open the door for
him lie growls out:
"Lemme git on to that lounge as
soon as posSible.n
"Why, what's the matter?"
"I'm next door to deathH'
"Have you been hurt, Mr.. Bowser?"
'No. Got q headache Whole top Of
my head is loose. I think am dy-
ing"
help him off with his coat, get him
to the -lnun 90 .nnll~ off his oaiters-
tuck him up, and then can't help say
ing: 'Didn't tell you so?"
"W-what?'
"Nou've been careless again. You sat
in your office with your feet out Of the
window, or you held 4 chunk of ice on
your lap, or you stood in a puddle Of
water in your bare feet. It's wonder
to me that any man lives TO the age Of
thirty"
"O-o-o-oh" he groans.
'',Hhat's it! Got the black plague or
the ..siatic cholera hold of you, proba-
bly,. WAS going over to Mrs. Cato's to
night to progressive euchre, bot this
spoils it all. I'll have three doctors up
after tea, and have the ambulance
come at the same time"
Then Mr.. Bowser sheds tears, and I
20 and heat brick for his feet, tie a
towel around his head, send baby up
stairs and stop the clock that nothing
may annoy him.
don't suppose that one husband in
hundred sets out to find fault around
the house. It's just their way, you
know. They are boss, and they feel
that they must keep this fact duly i'm
pressed Oil the minds of their wives.
No husband is ever to blame for any
accident about the house. The wife al
WAYS is. For instance, water-pipe
down in the basement burst the other
day. Mr.. Bowser got home just as I
was about 10 telephone him.
"Pipe busted ! Who busted it ~ he
shouted, as ne pulled off his overcoat.
"Why, no one"
"Ics, they did! Water pipes don't
bust without help. Some of you have
been knocking on that pipe with a
| hammer"
| went down and showed him that
the leak WAS at point where none Of
Us could possibly reach it, but he re-
piled
"Nell, some of you are certainly to
blame for it, That's the way-the
minute I leave the house something
happens Now we shall have the
Number aronnd here for a week or
more, with bill OF forty or fifty dol
lars ~
The back kitchen door had to be
taken Oft its hinges and planed of q
little, and in rehanging it Mr.. Bowser
got in q hurry and only put one screw
in The lower hinge, The cook found
the Others and laid them aside. One
day, after he had got home to dinner,
the door fell askew, as might have been
expected.
! Now, what have you done"
shouted Mr.. Bowser to HE as the cook
came in and reported.
Il ! didn't break the door,
You didn't! Then who did?'
You didn't put the screws back
when YOU rehung it,
Il didn't! III bet you billion dol