Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1890-10-23
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PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

Conscience is that within US that
tells US when our neighbors are doing
wrong. Epoch.
Never Gives they tell me
your wife has an excellent temper?'
Yes, it never fails her. IN. Y. Herald.
81 say, Charley, that man over there
must be millionaire 'sNo, guess
not He looks too happy Fliegende
Blatter.
III you ever doubted that man
could be sarcastic, you doubt it no longer
when you have heard him praising your
enemy. -Atchison Globe.
-Cobwigger why does woman
have her pocket where it's SO hard to
| get at it?'' Merritt-'sSo that she can
stick her friend for the car fare."-
Epoch.
Mrs. Gummey-'E Edison says that
night ever failed" Gummey-"Then
he never tried to walk his baby to
sleep.'-N. Y. Sun.
Mr.. Newman-"Willie,w hatdid your
sister say about the ring gave her?"
Willie "She .thaid she wondered who
wath fool enough to trutht you for t.
jewelers. Weekly.
Somebody wants to know why pretty
women generally marry homely men.
We have a clinging belief thatit is done
| to give their own beauty the benefit Of
contrast. Rams Horn.
81 Think" said the editor in wor-
ried Tone ''that l will drop journalism
and take to astronomy" .Why?" ''Well,
astronomers always seem to have more
| space than they know what to do with. "
Washington Fost.
What" inc uired the telegraph edi-
tor Of the sporting editor, sis the most
troublesome poker query you ever had
to answef?'' "'What have you got?'
think is question that has bothered
mo as much az any thing else. Wash
ington Post.
City Dame Cooking for country
board -'Do you object to children?"
Mrs. Hayseed-''T depinds, mum. y
City Dame-"Depends on the sort OF
children they are, suppose" Mrs.
Hayseed -"No'm. Depinds on the sort
of mothers they has. Good News.
-Cholly-"Mr. Threads, don't you
think l have earned a vacation?" Mr..
Threads well-yes, I guess you
have. In fact, that is aboht all you have
earned this year: Your vacation will
commence next Saturday night, and you
can have all you want. "-Terre Haute
Express.
Eyes," said the young girl, "Fido is
a very bright little fellow" 81 hadn't
even observed it, said Billy Bliven, her
cousin "But he has onev very bad habit.
He always bowls when play the piano
''He IS a smart dog. isn't he?" rejoined
Billy, abstractedly.>
THAT Boston man is awfully cool. {"
Glow does he show it?" "Why, whom
our ship Struck the iceberg last summer,
and every body was crowding into the
boats, he wouldn't leave until he had
changed his necktie." 0, pshaw! That
wasn't GOODNESS. That was Boston
Harper's Bazaar.
Young Father-"I wish you would
make arrangements to baptize my baby
tomorrow. Mr.: Halo-''Why, 1 bap-
TIED the child last Sunday. Let me see;
Percy, you said to call him." Young
Father-"Yes; but Uncle Percy has
made an assignment, and we have de-
cided to change the kids name to Zach
ariah. Uncle Zach is as solid as the sur
plus.
Eastern Lady lin Colorado)-"It
makes me sick to hear some of your
western names. The idea Of calling a
pretty town like this Wagonwheel. =
Resident-'It isn't nice name, and if
we ever change it l promise to let you
know at once" 81 wish you would. )"
where shall address you?' Horse
! heads, New York. "-Philadelphia Rec