The Monitor., 1890-01-10
WHERE SHE LEADS.

Oh, yes, undoubtedly there are things
that woman can do better than man.
They may be small matters, but they ex-
ist, and woman can readily beat man
doing them, and she should have the credit
of it.
In the first place, she can wear petit
coat and not take it up on her heels when
she walks, and we doubt if the wisest man
living can accomplish that little feat even
after good many times trying.
/ Size can look sweet as sugar when she
feels cross enough to behead somebody.
She can be such excellent friends with a
rival, and help do up her back hair when
she hates her SO that she would besglad if
she caught the smallpox and got her face
carved into the semblance of Chinese
cabinet.
She can scold better than any man liY-
| ing. She can think of more aggravatinp
things to say in one hour than man. no
matter how many colleges he has gradu-
ated from and how many dictionaries he
has digested, can think Of in six months.
| She can cry, when she cannot gain her
point any other way, and it is pretty tough
work for the average man to cry and not
make mess of it.
She can spank a baby better than a man.
She feels that it is her right to do it, and a
man always goes about as if he was asham-
ed of it, and as il he didn't exactly know
where to begin, or where to leave off.
She can drive hens out of the garden in
half the time it will take man to do it. 1t
is no use TO swear at hens. They do not
understand profanity. but the swish of a
skirt and the flourish of sunbonnet are
| arguments they cannot withstand
A woman can find something to talk
about when man would be dead broke
| for topic.
She can manage to keep you waiting while
| she gets ready TO go somewhere longer
than five men could, unless they were
youths in the clutches of first love, and
had to struggle with refractory neckties
A woman can get more bundles together
in half days shopping than a man can
carry, and she can buy goods 10 per cent.
cheaper than he can, because, in the first
place, she always asks every body what
they paid for every thing. and is thorough
" posted on prices; and, in the second
| place, she has the infinite patience to stand
and talk to the clerks, and wheedle, and
coax, and bargain, until, in the sheer des-
peration of utter soul WEAKNESS. they take
off two cents yard, and think themselves
lucky to escape so well.
A woman can be patient when the fire
doesn't burn. She can look serene when
the coffee won't settle. She can refrain
from mentioning the Evil One when the
bread is heavy. She can control herself,
and not go Into spasms, if her collar is not
ironed TO suit her.
She doesn't go 10 Europe, or take to
drink, when Tom goes back on her.
She does a more sensible thing. She ac-
cepts Dick. and shows Tom that she didn t
care fig for him.
Women are the best part of creation.
We all know that. The other sex may ridi-
cule them all they please, butthey wouldn't t
have women abolished for the world! There
would be nobody to sew on buttons. No
body to find fault with. Nobody to raise
moustaches for. Nobody to feel an inter
est in your cold, or to put catnip poultices
on you when You have the toothache No
body to buy ice cream for. Nobody to love.
Nobody to hug. Nobody TO kiss, for it is
a spectacle to make angels weep to see one
man kiss another
And so, in spite of the fact that women
are the weaker sex, let us have women
right along, because there are things that
they can do better than men.-hate Tzorn
In Ye'c Nork Heekly