Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1890-02-07

-@----- 4e--|t-s 4@L4LGAN
E=szs-7 haired, raw-boned old
ME- Westerner, address,
~ ms the new teacher
of the Big Wolf Prai-
g RE school, in the
western part of Kan
sas.
%Bein' as I'm one O. the szuIe boa'd
in this deestrict, an bein' as yer hev
been wrestlin' with Their kids O. Big
Wolf Purary now fur nigh Onter four
months, with nary a visit frum me, I
Jest kinder concluded ter drap in an
see yer herd these blamed young crit
tiers a spell this mOrnin'"
Come in, Mr. Todd Have that
seat, returned the teacher.
Yer see, I'm gOl-durned pertickIer
an cOnscientious-Elze erbout dom my
july by eddercatiOn, proceeded Uncle
Jerry, seating himself on the end of a
much-whittIed bench and discharging
a volley Of tobacco juice that bespat-
tered the legs of desk and the bare
feet of grinning urchin hard by.
When my neighbOrs 1ected me ter
be board member o Big Wolf Purary
Deestric' 1 done gin my word ter do
my july straight an simple, an straight
an simple I'm amin ter do it. So, as
mOrnin' an wanted me ter go down ter
Doc buffers ter git a matter o. Gallo
mile fur her stummick, I Jest made up
my mind ter come by Their skule house,
discharge my july straight an simple
here, then go on an git ther medicine
of Doc, an git home fur dinner" And
he emphasized his remarks with an
other robust eXpectOratiOn that made
the unlucky urchin draw up his feet
out Of dangers way, something as q
crawfish does.
Seeing the urchin's squirming, and
observing the general litter it was Oc-
casiOning throughout the school, Uncle
Jerry's straight and simple duty moved
him to speak again.
I'm feared, young teller, as yer fail
ter make these kids toe their mark
proper. See thet young I'm thar a
sqUirmin' like as eff he's in q ager fit,
an all Their others ready ter bust at
him. Yer Orto keep him straight in
his seat, and not low 'em ter giggle
It's powerful bad eff left ter go IN
curbed in a skule. When I went ter
skule back in Iniiany, I tell yer I
wasn't lowed ter wriggle all over like
that kid was. Nav, sir! I was KEEP
straight, an when visitors come I he'd
better manners than ter be a-gapin' all
round me, like I seen most o. yer
young uns a-doin' as L come in. Ny
teacher was strict on me, I kin tell
yer, an Pm glad he was, fur it has been
ther maxim O. me. Teacher, yer
KANT watch Their IeetIe acts O.
yer kids cIOst enough. Them IeetIe
acts is what leads ter big ones. It's
we'll I'm not your teacher, young
uns, fur eff I was I reckon I'd
plumb churn Their very dayEghts Outen
yer hides, but I'd hev yer mind an
show respect when members O. Their
skule board visits ther skuIe. Then
yer OrtO show more respect fur yer
teacher than ter wiggle an giggle that
away. Allus respect an obey yer
teacher.
"Teacher," he continued, facing the
young pedagogue, "I felt it my iuty
straight an simple to make a few re-
marks. A few remarks keerfuIIy
drapped at ther right time may be Of
OntOld benerft ter both teacher an
YOungster. That was what ther old
fellers who use ter sarve on Their dees-
trict boards in Iniiany lowed. Now.
kids, yer kin see what attentive, good
little boy I must a-been ter pay so
strict attention ter what my elders said.
Eff I'd giggled an wiggled an acted
OncivilZed, like some O. yer, wouldn't
a-been able ter a-tOle yer this day. It
pays ter notice an imertate yer elders.
Another thing I feel it my iuby to
speak of. This ere Is fast becOmin' d
age o. slang. ChiIdurn, don't slang;
teacher, don't set Their example 1t
would be objectionable sin fur yer ter
do so. Be keerfuI O yer language. Agin
say unter yer young uns, watch yer
elders, an imertate Their words, an
yer'u not be apt ter fall inter thet aw-
full habit o usin' slang std o. English,
what this deestric wants taught an
practiced right here on Big Wolf Pur-
airy. 1 repeat, teacher, chiIdurn, don't
slang!
Il hope az yer kin all tumble ter Their
chune O my racIit on this subject, with
out any furder words frum me; II I
must be gOin' on ter Docs fur Sary
hIariar's calOmiie, an KANT stay longer /
ter reI5irate my remarks.
"But in conclusion, I'll list say: Set
a good example, teacher; hev a keer
ter yer acts an words; an, yer kids,
mind yer elders, shun slang, an now,
while yer young an full O. sap, Light in /
put in yer best hcks at Iarnin'-larn so
much as ter make yer dads an mans
plumb 'shamed o. Their ignurance- an
git thar, Eli"
And with his "duty" thus discharg-
ed, Uncle Jerry Todd left teacher and
pupils to their anything but sober re /
Elections. They had food for thought
for the rest of that term.-C Cha ago |
Ledger.
Got Used to It.
"Can I use your telephone a minute ?" /
she asked, as she ran into a neighbours /