Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-09-14
THEY TREADLIGHTLY
Montreal People Abhor Noise as
Most Folks Do Birthstone.
THE JEHUS TALK IN WHISPERS,
Thunder is Mufisd and the Owners Of
Squeaky Boots Fined.
NOT LIKE RATTLE-TE-BAEG PITTsBURG
WRITTEN FOR THE DISPATCH,

The summer tourist who loafs around By
way of Montreal will be impressed with TIVE
things-the quiet Of the town and the preva
lence of the milk shake. Montreal shoule
be called the Noiseless City, and how (
fiourishing town of $50, 900 inhabitants car
SO completely wrap itself IN the mantle o.
solitude surpasses the understanding of one
from the Estates" A wagon load of iror
with bagging interlaced through it explains
that Montreal makes business of keeping
itself quiet. The bells on the street cal
horses, if there are any bells at all, are such
| small and soIt-toned affairs rs to be pleas
ure rather than pain. Street car con-
ductors do not startle their passengers with
shrill whistles, and the horse track between
| the rails is paved with view to making as
| little noise as. possible. The effect of all
this is soothing to the nerves Of one from an
| American city.
"We try to get along with as little noise
as possible" said a Montreal business man.
New York, Brooklyn. Pittsburg, Chicago
and st. Louis should send committees, and
we Will show them how we do it."
EVEN THE JEHUs QUIET.
In the meantime Grandfather Licksningle
may be permitted to describe the novelty of
visiting city where there is no noise. As
our party OF four emerged from the steamer
the cabmen accosted us almost with bated
breath. They were eager enough to secure
our patronage. but being loyal to the un-
possible. they did little more than motion
us toward their vehicles In pantomine.
Entering bus the door was closed softly
behind US, the 'busman, with a finger on
his lips, made q dumb show to the driver,
and we started for the hotel. The horses
seemed to move with noIseless, cat-like
tread, and the pedestrians along the
thoroughfares apparently wore cork soles Oh
their shoes. The entire commerce Of the
city is conducted with view to not waking
the baby.
The Canadian, of Hibernian extraction,
who drove us about town next day uncov-
cred his head as we passed the Deaf and
Dumb Asylum out of respect for the quiet
people within. Long trains roll in and out
of the Grand Trunk and Canadian Pacific
depots, but the whistle of the locomotive is
muzzled, and as you watch the phenomenon
the beating Of your own heart is all the
sound you hear.
MUFFLED THUNDER.
1t is essentially cathedral city, but you
never hear the good old hymn: ''Sound
the Loud Timbrel O'er Egypt's Dark Sea-"
because of the suggestion contained in it for
something loud. There was heavy rain
fall while we were there, and the lightning
flashed vividly, but there was no thunder to
disturb the regular order of things. It is
understood that when the condition of the
atmosphere makes thunder necessity it is
only 'muffled thunder" The statement
is made on authority that an American
once went into Montreal wearing a pair OF
squesky boots, and was arrested for disturb
ing the peace. Being stranger the Judge,
on the Queens Bench, let him off with a
quiet reprimand, and warned him against
wearing anything loud again. The thought
less person who undertook 10 start barber
shop in the town did not like to tell the
tale himself. Mothers always admonish
their children in two words: "Be quiet"
and SO they grow up in the way they should
go, and never depart from it. Speaking of
the people OF Montreal in general, it can be
said that their ways are ways OF pleasant
ness, and all their paths are peace.
AN AWFUL HABIT.
In regard to the milk-shake habit itmay be
said to be universal. 1t ID within the golden
limits o. truth to state that any business
house in Montreal can supply you with a
the shake is a mere matter of unskilled
labor, so in many places you can get milk
shake fair to middling for "tuppence "
though the regular price is cents. You
can get a milk-shake in a millinery store. a
blacksmithshop or a gents furnishing
house. One medical hail." as drug store
is called, displays q sign, "Milk-shake
to H. r. II. the Prince of
Wales" notwithstanding the general
opinion that the Prince of Wales has had
no use for milk-shake since the day he
was weaned.
American money goes in Canada. Indeed
it goes too freely. This is true of all our
money of whatever denomination, except
the nickel, and the street car companies
draw the line at that. The conductor comes
around with a jug-shaped receptacle to col
lect your fare and into this you drop the
money as into slot machine. But you
can't drop a nickel in for the reason that
the slot is purposely made small enough to
exclude it.
IT'S A MELANCHOLY FACT,
Any coin up to an English quarter ex-
cept the despised nickel 1t is sad to see
our universal, if not eyer-present, universal
friend thus Disseminated against almost
under the shadow of the Stars and Stripes,
but such is the melancholy truth. Aside
from this Montreal has Jew faults and many
virtues. After the rush and roar of Pitts
burg and New York it is like Paradise to
drop down here over the Lachine rapids
and loiter through its quaint streets or
climb to the top of Mount Royal, where
the scene is probably unsurpassed by any
other in the world.
AS illustrating the idea that greatness is
esteemed by the people of Montreal above
rubies or fine linen, this incident may be |
related: A lady stepped into birdstore to
buy a canary. After looking over the stock |
she found bird whose appearance pleased |
her, and asked the shopman:
"Does he sing?"
"Bless your heart, no!'' exclaimed the |
birdman.