davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1890-11-06
WATCH YOUR KETTLE.

A Ease and Stopid Provsrb That stands
IN Mood Of Revision.
There is bit OF proverbial philosophy
afloat to the effect that - watched ket.
tie never boils." False philosophy this,
whether taken literally or fguratively.
In the one case, 1t Is an idiotic super
stition; in the other. stupid mistake;
in either, humbug and cheat.
Cease to watch your business kettle,
and what comes Of leaving it to take
care Of itself? It. either becomes stone
cold or blows up. You don't want your
en- terprise over-done. and you don't want
it under-done. Your object is to strike
the golden mean between lukewarmness
and the explosive point, represented,
We will say. by 2l2 of Fahrenheit How
are you to stimulate the contents Of
your kettle up to the right mark-to
make them ebullient without turning
them into dangerous element-unless
you regulate the upward tendency ju-
diciously. 1t is only the neglected busi-
ness kettle that never boils to q good
purpose
Suppose Lord Worcester. Marquis Of
Somerset, had not watched his kettle,
and so had not observed the pnenom-
cnon Of the Tapping lid. forced into mo-
tion by the pressure Of the escaping
steam? II the Marquis had not received
that hint from his watched kettle as to
tho latent force Of steam, who can tell
what deprivation Of motive power man
kind would have undergone?
Your moral kettle must be looked
after, too, or it is more likely to freeze
than boil. Morality, without the
warmth Of fceling necessary to make 1t
active, is not of much use. In fact, xll
the fgurative kettles, individual and
social. included within the range of hu-
m; II hopes and duties, require to be
clio ely watched.
The world Is paved, as one may say,
with the wrecks OF kettles which would
have been Of incalculatle utility ii they
had been properly managed-reforma-
tory kettles, for example, which only
j required the iire Of zeal to keep them
going, and the guardianship Of practical
common sense to regulate them, In or.
+, der to become valuable utensils in the
kitchen OF Progress
To watch your kettle till it boils, and
| all the time that it is boiling. is the
only sure way to provide against acci.
dcnts.-N. Y. Ledger.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1890-11-06
OVERCOME sY A WOMAN.

Four Bold. Had Men succumb to the Elo-
qusmcc Of y Lame Female.
There were four pretty tough-looking
characters sitting on bench in Battery
Park the other day relating their ad-
ventures 20 each other. One had been
in mutiny at sea; second had been .
terror to whole county, and third
intimated that he had once trained with
band OF pirates. The fourth was >
lanky long-facel man with sunken
chest. and when the others had finished
he said:
Gentlemen. why was ! run out Of
Chicago? Because the papers called
me . holy terror and put the police
force ON TO me. You probably remem-
Der of the i've policemen who were
found dead in bunch? had to do It
''Of course you did, they assented.
"Why did the Governor OF Kansas set
= price on my head-Sl0.0O0 dead or
alive? You probably saw in the pa
pers that only one man out Of the thir.
teen in the sheriffs posse returned
alive? Didn't want to do it, but had to- -
Certainly, just our case," they re-
piled.
I'D like to 60 to St Louis" he con-
tinued. 'but it wouldn't he prudent
You probably saw the account Of my
stealing . steamboat and running her
off?'
''Of course, we saw" replied the three.
The lanky man was ready to relate
another chapter OF his life. when lame
woman with . few pears in basket
came along and said:
"Come, now, move along and give me
. bit of the bench"
No one moved. They hardly realized
her presence. They were busy think
ing what desperate men they were.
.'And that's the kind Of gentility ye
show . poor lame woman, Is it" ex'
claimed the indignant female, and,
dropping her basket she seized them
one after the other, and flung them into
the middle of the path. As the last one
went she sat down in the middle OF the
bench. got brace for her feet, and con
tinued:
''And now let's see the whole four oi
yex trot me out Of this!'
| They didn't try. Humbly, meekly
and lam Dlike they sauntered away u
lind another bench. totally ignoring tht
fact that they were desperate men o
decided villainy.-N. Y. Sun.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1890-11-06
PAoT. WILLIAM d. MARKEY, supervis-

PRoE. WILLIAM ID. MARKEY, supervis-
Light Company, will stake his profess
sional reputation on his ability to build
q railroad and construct an electric mo-
tor that will carry train from New
York to Philadelphia in thirty-six min
utes, that is at the rate Of one hundred
and fifty miles an hour. He says he
would pour electricity into the rails
from four way stations with enormous
dynamos. The cars would probably be
round. Special precaution would be
taken to obviate the powerful suction Of
trains In motion. The road must be as
near straight as possible.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1890-11-06

GENERAL FURLONG, noted Amer
lean traveller, tells reporter for the
New York Press that the longest word
on record is "Llanfairpwllgymgyllg-
ogerych ychwrndrobwlllandisiliogogogoch, !"
which is the name OF parish church he
visited once while in that country. II
General Furlong was merely in search
OF longer name than his own he could
have found it without going outside OF
his own land. Why didn't hunt up Gen.
oral MileSp
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1890-11-06
A CURIOUS CUSTOMER.
He Csn TAlk More and Give Less Inroi
nation Than Any Other Living Man.

Ne Can Talk More and Give Lsss Inror.
nation Than Any Other Living Man.
''How long have you been living
here 2" asked . tourist Of : Tennessee
man.
wall, let me think awhile. See
that dog? lie wasn't noth.n, but pup
when come here"
'.How old Is he p
"Wall. dun forgit his birthday. He
was mighty onery pup in the fust
place, an we didn't think he would
live nohow, 50 We didn't keep up >
keerful record Of his ago. Putty good
dog, though, he growed up to be,
but he's gettin' little old now"
so you don't know how long you've
been living here ?"
'Oh, yes, ever sence that dog was >
pup
when was he pup"
Before he was dog, OF course"
MY friend. are there many old set
tiers in this part OF the country"
.'Oh, yes"
.How old?'
.'Some o. them arc hundred years
old, reckon"
..You don't tell me so!'
"How do you know don't?"
Il mean that you do not intend to
convey the impression that they are
that old"
That's what do"
Il would like to talk to one Of them
and listen to his experience"
so would L.
''Why don't you?"
.They arc dead, stranger. Den set-
tied long time"
what time is it?" asked the tourist.
after remaining silent for few mo-
ments.
'Gettin' along toward the spring o
the year"
Il mean what time OF day."
Don't know. it's cloudy"
Haven't you got a time-piece in the
house,"
mo, but the old woman has
well, can't you see what time it is
by that?"
moan"
"Why?"
''Old woman's too stingy. She lows
that the old machine just gives enough
time for her an the boys Got big
family an We have to be mighty keer
fnl not to waste any thing"
my friend, you are certainly : very
curious specimen"
Yes 80 is . water-dog."
II am stranger in this country, bu,
l can not find any one interested
enough to give me any information
What is land worth BY the acre?"
''Fust one price then another"
DO you want to sell your place."
"Ain't huntin' to sell it,
'1f you were to sell it. what would you
ask for it?"
/ Wouldn't AK nothin' fur it IL wasteI
sell it. Wouldn't be mine then !"
'.How many acres have you?"
.'Never measured it."
"Where, In this direction, does your
line stop
''Ain't got no line"
Hasn't the place been surveyod?"
s.Yes, but the line was burnt up wher
the woods cotch afire."
i don't believe you've got good
sense"
AN know you amt"
.'How do you know it?"
"Cause you stop an talk SO long to q
man that you don't believe is got goot
sense."
That's all right Say. how can
strike the Nashville road?"
with stick. l reckon"
"You are fool"
$50 am I."-Arkansaw Traveller.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1890-11-06

HENRY FRANCIS MOORE, a black
smith. still living at Medford, Mass.
il said to be the original Of Longfellow's
''Village Blacksmith" who stood under
the spreading chestnut tree and the
muscles Of whose brawny arms were
strong as iron bands. The poet was
often in Medford previous to writing
the poem and was fond of chatting
with Moore. The blacksmith Is now
sixty-one years Of age and il himself OF
the opinion that Longfellow had him in
mind when he wrote his poem.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1890-11-06

! A VERY acrimonious discussion has
developed in Alabama in regard to the
mutilation of Rube Burrows body be-
fore or after death, many marks Of vio-
lenoe being visible. Whatever mutila-
tion there was Of the late Mr.. Burrows
must have been done after death, as he
took particular pains that nothing Of
that kind occurred during his lifetime.
Indeed. his great ability to prevent any
thing Of the sort had much to do with
his long and blsy career.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1890-11-06
LATER.
A Double Tragedy.

ST. PAUL. Minn., Nov. 3.-One of the
most horrible tragedies ever occurring
in this vicinity makes the Sunday just
passed sadly eventful one in South
st. Paul. At l0:30 yesterday morning
Benjamin f. Rogers, Of the live stock
commission firm of Rogers & Rogers,
was assassinated by man named
George Robarge near the residence OF
the latter, on the hill at q point mile
and a quarter distant from the stock
some cattle of Rogers across Robarge's
land to pasture. As socn as Rogers
was killed Roharge shot and killed
himself.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1890-11-06
When the Anglo o-American expedi-

When the Anglo-American expedi-
tion started for Africa, Mr.. Stanley was
presented with ring. on which were
engraved his name, the name of the ex-
pedition. and the date. This ring he
wore while exploring the lakes in Gen.
trail Africa on his first march across the
Dark Continent, when it was missed,
being either stolen or lost After eight
years 1t came into the possession OF
Welsh missionary to the Congo, who
purch ased' it from native and brought
it home. On his return the other day
the missionary forwarded the ring to
Mr.. Stanley as wedding memento.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1890-11-06

YEARS ago in Japan there was coin
called tho monseng, which was worth
only about one-two hundred and twen-
ty-fourths Of q penny. 1t was an iron
piece. In England we have had piece
worth no more than quarter of farth-
ing, and very pretty piece it is A
piece Of one-third Of . farthing was also
minted in the reign OF George Nv. and
William ". II in good condition it is
now worth shilling as a curiosity.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1890-11-06
An Affecting Case,

fearful Visitor Chicago law of1ce)-
! want TOTO begin suit for damages
against Mr.. Lighthead.
Lawyer = Certainly. certainly. On
what charge?
.'B-b-breach Of promise"
.'Yes. You have clear case, pre-
sume?"
'i-e-s; he-he promised to marry me
IS soon as got divorce from-from
my hus-hus-husband-boo. hoo-and
got divorce. and now he won't and
IL Amt got any lov-lover nor nc
husband nor nothing-boo. hoo, hoo!
N. Y. Weekly.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1890-11-06
WEST AND SOUTH.

In fire at Mobile, Ala, several thou
sand bales OF cotton, warehouses, COM
presses, steamboats,, mills and other
property were destroyed. The loss was
estimated at 100000.
On the Burlington railroad in Yhma
County. Col. fifteen carloads of cattle
and horses were ditched and horribly
mangled.
The famous team Belle Hamlin and
Justina trotted mile in 2:l3 at In
dependence, Ia, beating all previous
team records by one-quarter Of second.
THE Governor of Colorado called upon
President Harrison for the projection Of
the citizens OF Routt County from the
depredations OF the Ute Indians.
FoUR Mexican gamblers fell out over
. monte game near Austin. Tex, when
one Of them drew his pistol and shot and
killed the other three.
FIRE destroyed Peter Rebeld's livery
staple ut Fairmount. O., and twelve
horses perished in the flames.
WILLIAM BARNETT, Of Austin, Tex,
shot Maggie Null in fit Of jealousy
and then shot himself
AT Ulysses, Neb., fourteen business
buildings were destroyed by ire.
; HENRY SwITzER and John Webb, liv-
ing in the same cabin on the line of
their adjoining claims in oklahoma Ter
ritory, were called to their door by un-
known parties and shot dead.
FLAMES destroyed the business por-
tion OF the village of Andover, O. The
loss was $4,000.
ADvIcEs from Alaska say that at .
convention held October IL Captain
James w. Carroll was elected dele
gate to Congress- Carroll hoped to be
admitted to the 6oor of tho House this
winter.
JAMES DALLAS, Charles Davis and
Pat Calvin, three Chicago crooks,
robbed . jewelry store at Memphis,
Tenn, and in less than day after were
tried. convicted and placed in Jail to
serve three years.
ALONG Sage creek in jackson County,
s. D.. placer deposits Of gold have been
discovered. and mining camp named
Logan has been started.
In the Weidman brewery at Newport,
Ky, fire caused loss of 500. 600.
A FIRE that started. in II. c. Collins
jewelry store at Eureka Springs, Ark,
consumed property valued at 100000.
NEAR Monticello, Ca, two sections
OF Barnum's circus-train came together
on down grade, killing two men and
eight horses.
FIRE destroyed seventeen buildings
at Apalachicola, Fla, causing loss OF
100000.
THE Louisville baseball team de-
feated the Brooklyns by a score Of to
in the seventh game at Brooklyn on
the 2sth Of the worlds championship
series. Each club had up to date won
three games, one being a tie. The cold
weather compelled postponing the re-
naming games until next spring.
4 yARMEE named Elaggott, living ten
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1890-11-06
The heart of Gam beta was remove

The heart OF Gambetta was removed
and embalmed after his death, and Paul
Bert who had the matter in charge, in
tended to place it in the memorial
erected to the statesman In Paris This
WAS not done, however, and as NJ. Bert
died in Tonquin several years age
without leaving any memorandum In
regard to the matter. the heart IL sup
posed TO be Lost
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1890-11-06

THE Edison photographic doll has
now got up to one hundred and thirty
i've words in speech. For long time
only seventy words could be packed into
the compact little frame, and it WAS
therefore deferred from saying a great
many interesting things. In course OF
time the wizard of Nlenlo Park may
make his dolls talk as freely as human
beings. 1t is all matter of com binat ton.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1890-11-06

THE American Analyst says that there
are 81, 600, 500, 900 invested in the dairy
business in this country. That amount
is almost double the money invested in
banking and commercial industries. 1t
is estimated that it requires Is. O0O, 900
cows to supply the demand for milk and
its products in the United States. To
feed these cows 80. 600, 900 acres Of land
are under cultivation.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1890-11-06

+ ACCEPT it or not, as you please, the
statement is made by purist in En-
glish that the most common misquota-
ation in the tongue is: when Greek
meets Greek, then comes the tug of
war" Properly it reads: ''When Greeks
Joined Greeks, then was the tug Of
war" and was written by an English
man named Nathaniel Lee about the
YEAR 1rn1
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1890-11-06

MISS EMMA y. TRAPPER made an in
vestigation and found that out Of fifty
New York hotels visited in eighteen of
them female servants were required to
sleep in rooms under the ground. In
one hotel the ceiling OF the sleeping
room was four feet below the sidewalk.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1890-11-06
when Ne was at the Club,

Wife, wish you wouldn't mako SO
much noise. want to get to sleep.
Husband-rm not making any more
than can help
just be a. quiet - you were late tho
othor night when you took y our boots
Of down stairs 50 you wouldn't disturb
ms.-Nanssy's Weekly.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1890-11-06

: A SENTENCE in Massachusetts in 1868,
discovered in a search of old records:
Robert Coles fined a10 for abusing
himself shamefully with drink" and en-
Joined to stand with "A Drunkard" in
great letters on white sheet on his
back, ''soe longe as the court thinks
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1890-11-06

: LIEUT.. ALrHEUs ROBERT FRENCH, the
sole survivor Of the Black Hawk war,
died in Baltimore recently. aged eighty
one years After the Black Hawk Mr..
French re-enlisted and was ordered to
Florida during the Seminole war. He
was badly injured in different battles and
given up for dead on several occasions.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1890-11-06
Eritome of the Week.
NEWS COMPILATION.
FROM WASHINGTON.

fn0" VvtSo1ltS0I wv
In the United States the visible sup
ply of grain in store on the 27th was:
Wheat, -, 715,025 bushels; corn, 1906
44s bushels; oats. 4.123, 2s9 bushels.
INDIAN COMMISSIONER MORGAN in his
annual report to the Secretary Of the
Interior says OF the Indian ques-
tion generally that there has been
for ten years or more real progress
In the right direction and that the
outlook for the future is encourag-
ing. A public-school system is being
rapidly provided whereby every Indian
boy and girl OF school age is to be az
forded an opportunity of acquiring the
rudimehts OF an English education and
the elements OF an honorable calling.
During the year about 100000 acres
have been secured by the Government
by cession from the Indians.
A CIRCULAR letter has been sent to
United States district attorneys by At
torney-General Miller calling attention
to the anti-lottery act. with the sugges-
tion that they carefully examine the
same and spare no effort in its enforce
ment.
In the United States the total yield
OF potatoes this season was estimated al
12o, 731. .O0S bushels.
MR HOWE was married in his sick
room at Washington on the 3oth ult. to
Miss Mary Butterworth, daughter oi
Representative Butterworth, OF Ohio,
and died on the 31st ult. He had been
i'll for some time with pneumonia, and
the ceremony was performed at his ur.
gent request
DURING the last fiscal year the Office
Of the First Comptroller of the Treas
ury examined a7.343 accounts, involv.
ing the sum of S. :3s3S. 423. 9S..
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1890-11-06

''OLD SACRAMENTO" the cannon
taken across the plains by General Free
mont in his first expedition. is an oh
ject OF interest at the Kansas State
ranifnl
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1890-11-06

And Then He Moved N Adjournment.
Five or ten minutes OF embarrassing
silence had sped away into tho voicelass
past, and then bright idea struck Mr..
Nevergo.
ut seems like . Quaker meeting" he
observed.
"Yes," answered the young woman.
with hopeless, dreary glance ut the
clock. Il have been wondering when
the spirit wss going to-to move you,
you know."-Chicago Tribune.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1890-11-06
A JEWISH boy in Russia who stole a
pear was brutally punished. The word
thief was branded on his forehead in
three nlaces

HOSEA BRowN. Of Linn County, Ore,
aged one hundred and two years, and .
veteran OF 1912, has just been awarded
. pension of forty dollars month.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1890-11-06
HUMOROUS.

Yes" said Miss Simperton. I'm
awfly fond of trees. I've seen sugar
maple and slippery-elm and weep
ing-willow, and now | want to see the
succotash. = Harper's Bazar
A Georgia editor, in asking for .
a free pass. wrote: If you can not re-
new this pass. send me pair Of thick
soled shoes, as have got to leave this
place next week. Atlanta Constitu-
tion.
-'Tis laugnable
How affable
Acandidlt. becomes.
Such manners show
Where banners go.
Transparencies ana drums.
Exchange
Prof. Strabismns-''Now. young
gentlemen. you have heard brief ac-
count of the condition of trade in this
country. What is our most pressing
needo Mr.. Bloxem, you may answer"
Bloxem-''A really good five-cent
cigar. Epoch
Jake Simpson wanted Clara Bel
lows to reply. because you are SO
we'll read" when he asked her Why he
was like a well thumbed newspaper,
but she shook him from center to cir
cumference when she replied: because
you are second-class male matter. -
N. Y. Herald.
In leading dry-goods store. -Giyl
in blue to ditto in green-''Why did you
make him haul all those goods from the
top shelf. you haven't your pocket-book
along?" Girl in green-''Why.t the nasty.
mean fellow was in a car yesterday and
never offered me his seat, though
looked right at him, and l was bound to
get even."-Philadelph Press.
Old Gent-"Well my little son, did
you try keeping a diary, as told you?"
Little Boy-"lessir: here it is" Old
gent looks over it and reads: January
/. Went in swimming. January O.
Went fishing. January 8. 3.-Too hot to
GO anywhere. January 4.-Went and
got some ice-cream. January 5-Guess
I'll stop keeping a diary. Too hot to
write. Good News.
Mary, will you put your hand in
mine and walk with me down the
stream OF lifeo" asked young man,
whose confusion showed in his meta
phors. OF Dwightville girl. The lat
ter is one of those practical. common
sense women that we run across once
or SO in a lifetime, and she replied:
"Never mind asking foolish questions,
Tom; just say simply that there's a
chance for me-" And somehow or other
he felt the answer completely filled the
bill.-Binghamton Leader.
-Customer-''What time do you have
to be here in the morning?' Eight
o'clock, madam" Indeed. And you
are here in the evening also, are you
not?' Very often" ''How much
time do you have for lunch?" IAN
hour usually" do you have all those
shelves to dx?" "Yes, madam. -
isn't it hard work?' Sometimes,
madam" Don't you get tired?" Yes,
very often" II see no chair for you to
| lit on" mo, madam. We don't want
| chairs, because customers would think
ye were here just to 81. around ana an
swer questions N. \. Weekly.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1890-11-06

Attorney examining witness)-
the defendant use incorporate languag.
On that occasion?
Witness--Yes. sir; he had been drink
Ing heavily for two days.-Wess Shore
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1890-11-06

RECENT explorations OF the Olympic
mountains have been Of great interest
to mining men. A geologist who has
given some attention to the work of the
exploring parties says: II have exam
ined many specimens from the Olympic,
but until Of lato they were Of low grade
outcroppings. Recently some extremely
rich specimens have been received.
These new discoveries have excited In.
terest in prospectors in this region, and
specimens are coming in rapidly. l
have received one piece that was SO rich
that refused to assay it, as it could not
possibly be fair sample. 1t would
have assayed over 800. 900 per ton."
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1890-11-06
Tho Exact Truth.

Mr.. Newman-Willie. what did your
sister say about the ring gave her?
Willie-She thaid she wondered who
wath fool enough to trutht you for it
Jewellers Weekly.