The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1890-11-01
AN AMATEUR IN AGRICULTURE.

have had considerable experience as an
agricultural editor, but fortunately, it was con-
dans0d in to vary -hrief period of my life.
Shortly after leaving colledge | bought out
small paper in country town, and launched
myself upon what l called the career of
Journalist
NV Agricultural Department was the pride
of my heart and to it brought all the ripe
culture and experience of the recent college
graduate. 1t held the place of honor in my
columns, and | am sure that l honestly en-
deavored to raise the standard of agriculture in
the section overshadowed by my editorial tri-
pod had been running this department for
about three months, when oneday asubscriber
came ina farmer of the old school and man
of considerable prominence in the community.
He tossed his hat over the ink bottle on my
table, took a seat and remarked:
See here, Mr.. Editor, ifthis ere paper OF yourn
dosen't brace up pretty quick I'm a-goln, to
stop theirn too.
Why, what is the matter? 1 exclaimed, in
CONSERVATION. l fiattered myself that was
getting out the bestpaper in the state, especially
for farmers.
That's Just where the shoe pinches, replied
nv visitor, frankly. What you have to say
about farmin, young man, is ridiklus-slmply
ridiklus. Now look at this editorial on COWS,
he cotinued, pulling frayed paper from MS
pocket. Listen to this sentence: The sooner
COW is killed for beef the less milk she will be
likely to give.
We'll. what is the matter with that? de-
manded. Can you deny that this is fact
Thunderation, that amt the pint! yelled
the granger removing his boots from my fan
CIV stationery and pounding the table with his
fist Of course it's fact, but amt 1t fact
that two and two is four? And did you ever
know of anybody's kicking against that?
What's the use of telling us what any blamed
fool knows before he is weaned?
A shadow gathered on my handsome brow,
and looked thoughtfully out the window.
And here's something else, continued the
granger running his finger down the column.
FSpeaking of hens, you say The reason why
old hens so seldom have teeth is because, as
soon as the hens teeth begin to get loose, they
are washed down her throat by her persistent
habit of gargling whenever she drinks. II
hens could only be taught to lap their drink,
as sheep do. their constitutions would be saved
the wear and tear of digesting so many hard
teeth.
Well. what is there against that asked.
anxiously Don't you believe it yourself?
Believe it screamed the granger, as he sprang
to his feet and pranced around the office with
a face the color of boiled lobster. Believe it !
Do YOU take me for an ass? Don't you suppose
| know where my hair begins? Believe it !!
why heavens and arth, L hope amt luna
tic vet, nor any of my folks. Blast your gall
You may stop my paper to-day. won't have
such nonsense in the house.
So saving, my indignant visitor swOoped up
his hat. distributing, as he did so. pint of
of aniline ink over the table and the floor,
and disappeared from the sanctum, leaving me
in humiliated astonishment twirling my NOUS
tache and trying to recollect whether hens had
gums ON one Jaw and teeth on the other, or
only just plain gums on both Jaws.
Two weeks later, finding that my subscrip-
ton list was falling off alarmingly sold out
nv paper and began life anew as book agent.
-B.trfiaqtOn Free Press