San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1890-11-18

gave you my love, anu you may UTdm-
pie it under your feet, if you like, but
you cannot give it back, nor undo what
has been done, nor make it possible for
me to be content to live without you so
long as l know what it would be to live
with you, and can feel my heart throb
at the thought of that. | have spent
nearly three months in looking for you:
do you think that they have made my
need for you the less? Do you think
that the sight of you here, in this room
poor, because you have gone away
from me, and desolate because you have
gone away from me-do YOU think this
is SlgnU TO IeSSen my longing Tor you
to lessen the passionate pain with
which have thought of you?-Esther,
he cried all at once, come back to mel
Now, at this moment, while i am face
to face with you, do you still think that
the story of your past life has any pow
er to be barrier between usg You
have tried to part us with it: are we
parted?"
do you not remember what wrote
to your she said in low agitated
voice. You speak as if you had for
gotten it all, and were only speaking of
need you TO try and prove to me that
We should be happy ro,o if we were to
be together?" She lifted up her eyes to
his for the first time, and for one mo-
ment only. as she said this. You need
not prove it. know we should be hap
py at the firSt,-for You are wrong when
you say that have doubted that you
love me. l have never doubted it! I
know that if | were like anv other wc-
man might trust you TO my nie'S end.
But am not like any other woman"
(she was looking down on the ground
again now, and the slow words came
with bitter effort from her),-''and
that is what you forget. can bear
what have to bear alone, but if made
you bear it tool think my heart would
break"
Your heart seems to me breaking as
it is" he said. Il should say that how
you mean to bear it is by dying under
it,-but | don't call that bearing, Es-
Their"
And then after a moment
MY back is broader than yours. Give
me half the burden" he said passion
ately. "My darling, l do not make
light of it. 1t is bitter thing to bear,
"a thing that no man should ask to
share with you lightly. should wrong
you cruelty if 1 asked you to be my wife
nO,C without having weighed to the ut
most that a man can what my love for
you is able to endure. Do you think if
it had been as slight as you have
thought it should be here nowp Re-
member, Esther, my days of hot-head-
edness are over, and when you went
away | might have contented myself, if
l had loved you less, with the reflection
that, though it was hard to give you up,
yet on the whole your disappearance
cut the knot of difficulty. But have
l done this? You see" he said, II rea-
son with you, for | want to speak to
you quietly, without any heat. / would
give half of all have in the world
nay, would do more,-I would leave
myself pennileSs to begin life afresh. if
Dy DONG GnlS 1 c0ulu prove you lnnu-
cent in the face of the world or, bet
ter still, if | could cut that cruel year
out of your life. When can say this 1
do not think lightly of it. But cannot
undo the past, and have little hope of
ever remedying it, and therefore it only
remains to me to hold to you as you are,
or to hug myself in my own security
and leave you. have not chosen to
leave you, you see. What | choose is
to come again to you, as do now, and
to say to you again-Let nothing but
uCdCl COIlt UcJWcCll uo. ESOltI, hIOW
the worst that can happen, and | am
ready to face it. The world is pretty
wide world, and | have made myself at
home before now in more parts of it
than this. If faces begin to look cold
upon us here we will not stay to be
stabbed by them, but will go where they
will be kinder to us. There are sunny
enough places out of England. Will
you not believe this and trust me? My
darling, look here" he said: there is a
hard thing to be borne: say to you
let us bear it together. You are afraid
of darkening my life, but you can only
darken it now by leaving me. Only one
perfect happiness is possible for me,
and that is the happiness that you have
the power to give me or to take away"
She looked up when he said this,
slowly, with wistful, uncertain, fright
ened face.
"And if presently we should repentP
Oh, you do not think of thatl" she said.
when we repent-when that proba-
BILE time comes, he answered promptly,
''you shall go away from me, and have
your own house, and will have mine.
We shall then at any rate have gained
something,-some years of happiness,
or months at the least,-whereas if we
were to part now we should be losers
altogether, you see: Yes, l am laugh:
ing at you," he said suddenly, and all
at once laughed aloud. II am laughing
at you, for | am tired of being grave. I
have been grave for three months, Es-
ther, and wellnigh dead. Give me back
my life now that have lost" He
stopped to her, and touched her hand
again at last. my darling" he said,
''give me my lost gladness againl"
She sat after he had stopped speak
ing to her for several minutes. quite