davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-05-04
TWO COPPER CENTS.
How They Found Each Other and Served
in Queer Capacity After Many Years.


We were minted the same day, in 1885.
One of us bought paper almost IA soon
rs We left the mint. The other went into
a rich young fellows pocket " for luck. "
he said. The young fellow was on his
way TO Europe. The cent that bought tho
paper bought cents worth of milk for the
ncwsboy's mother. Then the grocer paid
II out 10 an expressman, with some silver
II got IN with its bettcrs. and was uncom-
Portable until it got into q bar-roOm till. p"
After that 1t led lowly life. For years the
owner OF the bar-room kept ii on the table
when he played cards with his customers.
He said it was his lucky penny"
One night late q middle-aged man came
| in begging. without thinking. its owner
for fifteen years tossed 1t to the beggar
with an oath. That was all be got there.
The cent went into his pocket. He was
poor. From that time he began to grow
rich. The cent got credit for his good
| luck. Though unfortunate itself It rad
always brought luck T. others. Ii never
| left ITS last owner. IL saw him grow from
| a poor to rich man, and from middle
| aged to an old mscr. The more he got the
more he wanted. There was nothing short
| of murder he would not do for money.
/ He robbed his best friends and they never
| knew it. He passed for a good man. He
! was the greatest the most magnificent
| hYpCcritc that lived. ms ~ what ne useu
/ TO whisper TO his smooth, shining, aud
| lucky penny.
Well. the other penny stuck to the Young
/ fellow on his way through Europe. When
! he came back after happy years of wander
! ing he had a velvet case m, de for the lucky
cent. The first day 1t left his pocket for
/ the case he was killed in runaway. His
| things went 10 this one and that. and the
cent was shot at in shooting gallery for a
number of years. No bullet ever struck it.
/ Everybody knew that and everybody
wanted it. SO it was finally sold for 81
and lost by the gambler who bought it, and
/ found 10y the miser. and it went into the
latter's pocket and found its twin after
| fftv-fve years. Two nights ago the mlser
| choked to death on a piece Of hard bread.
They came and placed him in coffin. They
could not close his horrible eyes until they
| thought Of two copper cents.
So here we are IN our coffin, divided by q
nose, holding down the lids Of dead mans
| ewes
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-05-04
A Musical Tree.

Accounts of reliable travellers describe
musical tree, found both in the west In
dies and in Nubia. The ,vese5aple pneii
nomenon has a peculiar-shaPsed leaf, and
mods with split or open edge. AS the
wind blows through these 1t gives out the
sound which gives the tree its peculiar
name. In the Barbados there Is valley
Iinws across TIE island constant moaning
deep-toned whistle is heard. which, IN the
sill hours of the night, has weird and
mournful effect. -.
abnrdantly in Nubia and the Soudan Is
also called whistling tree" by the natives
It's shoots are frequently, by the agency o.
the lary@ OF insects. distorted Ia shapo ano
swollen into globular bladder FROM one &c
two inches in diameter. After the insec
has emerged from circular hole N IN,
side of this swelling. the opening, played
upon by the wind, becomes q nusical IN
strument. nearly equal in sound toasweet
toned finite
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-05-04
Young Lady's Consideration.

Here is a story of young lady Of Elk
hart, Ind. who showed unusual consldera'
ton TOR her friends over her marriage
Says special dispatch from that city
In response to invitations TO attend
progressive pedro party seventy-nse %
the friends of Miss Minnie Ley, Oh I'M.
city. gathered at her elegant home last
evening and were indulging in the game
at II O'Clock. when Miss Ley and Charles
Nelson, in full wedding costumes, took
their places ia q bay-window in the parlocr
and were married by the Rev; Ar. hn9 9i9,
of The First Congregational church. Inc Inc
guests were thdaderstruck, as they hsa
not the slightest iutimation OF sucn al
event. The bride gays she took mat me me
thod of avoiding wedding gus. Inc
young couple left Immediately Tor tue
Fast
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-05-04
The Taombs Oak Falls

The decay of the old oak on the college
campus at Athens, known as sns Do9
Toombs oak. is regretted by ali frienas ana ..ia
Alumni of the college. The tree anu the
man had lives that were coincident tnroG
out. They both sprapg into renown IRON 2 IN
the moment that the Georgian mhde nus
great speech beneath ITS branches, ana .nsV
both passed awav almost slmul,anspusiiI;;
After the death Of General foombs the oia
tree began to decay rapidly, and has at last
fallen beneath the power Of times telling
stroka.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-05-04
JefTerson's Great-Grandso
philadelphia Press.I

Thomas Jefferson Trist, whose death Is
announced at his home. 1922 Cambridge
street. was a great-grandson OF Thomas
Jefferson and lineal descendant of Poca:
hontas. He was born deaf at the house Of
the Jefferson family, Monticello, Va, in
1923. His father, Nicholas p. Trlst. the
United States commissioner who concluded
the treaty of peace between thu, United
States and Mexico, and his mother Vlr-
ginia Jefferson. Mr. Trist graduated from
the Pennsylvania Institute for the Deai,
and Dumb in 1877, and after a tour aDroau
entered the New York Institute for the
Deaf and Dumb. In 1856 he became q
teacher in the Pennsylvania Institute, and
remained there to the time of his death.
Trist was twice married, his first. wife be,
ing Miss LYMAN Horne. sister-ln-law oil
United States Senator Foster, and his Sc
cond Miss Knabe
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-05-04
ON THE FLOOD.
BARON DE eRIMMs GRAPHIC STORY
OF a RIDE ON THE MISSISSIPPI
From Memphis TO New Orleans tue ''''e''
Vast and Almost Unbrokcn Scale
wees, Landings, and Even '""
submerged-somc Time"
Suggestions.
,co.,..noc,onco ., tho RIchmOnd Dispatch.l
NEw ORLEANS, May /, 1890;

NEw ORLEANS, May /, 1880;
One morning lately st time wneh ,he
great aood in the Mississippi was sup,
posed to have reached It's highest point !
went from Memphis to New. Orleans on
voyage OF investigation. The Valley Line ne
railroad does not run near enough 70
the river 10 afford good view' ana
besides wished TO take Tue rulp
leisurelv, so went by the Anchor Llhe
steamer City of Monroe. taking passage at
Memphis. where | was Introduces VI eme
not been a medium of transportation for
travellers. and their ample decks and state
rooms, where people were wont formerly
to take a rest and enjoy themselves IN
ro,e,e. are now turned into freight depots;
therefore, tne boats have to stop at every
small landing. Still. they are elegantly and
some even magniGcently fitted up.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-05-04

damaged before they are put 20 sc tSny a g
the levees. One above an0sn.It, ~. hroken
piled up in the gaps until the nys '. riSen
levees are filled or The SACKS na''
out. io, nm
A great deal of concentrated wisu .n t, az,
pears in the newspapers from l.iHS ~ inter
about these floods. in the snhps ~ ~ a d;s-
views with engineers and experts ~; y, these
lance but however much satiia.l ~, ere az
may afford to northern readers w. cd
Even speeial co nm sci seem 70 accom-
plish but little. Three times durlhtg ELY ,rf
trip we rad special commissioners Oh oo.--. =
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-05-04
SIZE WOULD SMOKE.
And the Conductor Didn't Dare stop Her
rDetroit Free Press.l

Detroit Free Pressl
She was a little old woman dressed in
black and having bundle wrapped up in
a gray shawl. She had seat IN the middle
of "A Grand-River avenue car. and as sue
took out her clay pipe and began feeling
for her tobacco the conductor stepped for
ward and said:
lyon mustn't smoke hero, ma'am."
"Nhy not?"
against the rules
"Who made the rules"
THE company
"Where's the companyY'
down at the Office
well. Inever allow nobody mile away
TO tell me when shall or shall not smoke;
Eve cot wind or my stomach, and when !
have il aIlus smoke. You can trot right
back to the platform and be ready to JINGLE
the bell when ANYBODY wants to get on.
And she found q match, lighted II ON the
sole of q solid shoe. and putIed away with
a serene couutenance until ready TO set OIL
at Twelfth street.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-05-04
Z. T. FRISTOE,

STATEMENTS
OF PUBLIC ACCOUNTS o. rS
T oNDON AND NCAsHIRE FIRE INSURANCE COMPANY
principal
Il
u
iusl ~
tbines inthe u
Nance the .
ReJlen o
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-05-04
T ONION AND LANCASHIRE r1RE1SsuRAScE COMPANY
II. ASSETS.

@ STATS Am S a
MIo EnSroc aSD COMPANY
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-05-04

This settles 1t. The chestnut is now
full-grown and ready for tenyears' service
purely American snap, and one which. 30
lar. has eyaded the notice of Max O'Rell. "
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1890-10-17
School Report.
PRAIRIE VIEW.

Report Of Prairie View school district No. 50
for the month ending October 10 1sgo.
Number Of pupils enrolled: Males, Il; fe-
males, 10. Average attendance: Males, 8; fe-
males, g.
Those not absent during the month: Alma,
Susie and kittie Gallsger, Oris and Maud Dick.
Eddie Myers, Leila Award, Arthur willer.
Those averaging ninety or above In examine
ton: First Grammar Grade, Bertha Hartsoek,
Maude Mofitt; Second Primary Grade, Msude
John Hartsock.
tendent T.. I. Barber and wife.
Patrons OF the school are cordially invited 20
visit us. OLIVE NJ. GERALL, Teacher.
DEER CREEK.
The following Is the report Of Deer Greek
school. district No. 8, for September lsSo:
1s Average daily attendance, males. "a. p: n,
males, 1913. Number of cases of hardness, 10.
The names OF those averaging 20 per cent or
aDG a4I
Merritt and Alta Dunlap, George Evans, Name
Chilcote, Hoyt Fackler, John Whitaker; Inter-
mediate department, Bertha Longshore, Daisy
Charlie Longshore, Lettie Reno.
The iLregularity Of attendance was caused by
Number of visitorss. SOPHIE An.oLp.
Teacher.
SEosBO vALLEr
Monthly report Of Neosho Valley school, dis
trict No. III for the month beginning September
l6 and ending October 10.
Number enrolled this month, males 1G; fe-
males Is. Average daily attendance 70.
Names Of those not absent bu. tardy: Nelli
Butler, Glenn and Ella Bolin. Jay Baird, Res
zoe Clark, Cal and Odin williams Those nell
Their absent nor tardy: Johnnie and Cery Glib
SON
Visitors 10.
Friends are invited to visit ms.
s. 4. wHITLow, Teacher.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1890-10-17
For Sale or Trade.

Notices under this heading will be Inserted
one week free OF charge for all subscribers to
the REGISTER. Any such Excepting those reg
ularly engaged in the mercantile business) hay-
ing anything TO sell or trade, or wanting 70 buy
anything, are cordially invited to use this coll
umn.l
s. T. Lowe, Moran. Kansas, has for sale 10
shoats, sows and pigs, sOws with pig, COW,
] yearling heifer and extra bull cali
w. j. Ihrig, lola, has a fine brood cow and
six shoates TO sell or trade
j. b. Kennedy, 8 miles northeast of lola, has
s good span OF mules TO trade for COWS or
calves.
Mrs. ID. Adams, Carlyle, has seven steer
calves to sell.
J. W. Wolf four miles southeast of lola. has a
quantity Of winter apples, hand picked, to sci.
for 30 cents @ bushel-
J. w Delaplain six miles southeast OF lola
has ten good yearling steers for sale
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1890-10-17
DEHORN YOUR CATTLE.

1t is an acknowledged fact that de-
horned cattle require but half the shed
room and three-fourths the feed Of
horned cattle. This practice Is no
longer an experiment and progressive
stockmen should not hesitate to adopt
it. Having had considerable expe-
rience i'm dehorning, L would solicit the
patronage of the public, and guaran-
tee satisfa ;tiOn. Terms reasonable.
Special rates for large herds. Cores
pondence solicited. Address b. T.
Lowe, Moran, Kas.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1890-10-17
THE PULPIT AND THE STAGE.

Rev. f. NJ. Shrout, pastor of United
Brethren church, Blue Mound, Kan
sas, says: 81 feel it my duty to tell
what wonders DIR. Kings New Dis
covery has done for me. My lungs
were badly diseased, and my parish
oners thought could live only . few
weeks. 1 took five bottles Of DIR.
Kings New Discovery for consump-
ton and am sound and well, gaining
twenty-six lbs in weight"
Arthur Love, manager Loves Fun
ny Folks Combination writes: "After
a thorough trial and convincing evil
dence, / am confident DIR. Kings New
Discovery beats 'em all and cures
when everything else fails. The great
est kindness / can do to my many
thousand friends Is to urge them to
try it," Free trial bottles at Evans
drugstore.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1890-10-17
Mr.. Scott will speak in the
forenoon, MIR. Funston in the
afternoon and Mr.. Smith in
the evening
EVERYBODY COME |! !!
EVERYBODY COME |! :!
s6rIf the weather should be unfa-
vorable the meeting will be held in
the Opera House or the A. o. U. w.
Hall.
A Matter of Taste.

A few folks like old-fashioned
things,-old clothes, old houses and
old books. Others want modern arti-
cles. The latter class is in the major
ity. There are few old fogies who
prefer glow trains, light rails, hand
brakes and big smokestacks. The rest
of mankind enjoy travelling close to a
mile minute ON steel aails, i'm vestl-
bule cars, with every home comfort at
hand.
The Santa Fe route between Kansas
City and Chicago is modern line for
people of the 10th century. G. It.
Nicholson, G. p. & It. A., Topeka,
Kansas; J. ]. Byrne, A. G. p. & +. A.,
Chicago.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1890-10-17
CHAS. c. LEWIS \ CO.
School Notes

Rev. w. II. Hyatt recently donated
the first three volumes of the Ency-
clopedia Britannica to the High School
library, gift which both pupils and
teachers highly appreciated.
The pupils of thel0th andl1th grades
have organized themselves into two
literary societies for the purpose of
making the rhetorical work of the
school moro interesting and for gen.
eral improvement in literary work.
The teachers of the school recently
formed reading cir lie which meets
each week at the homes of the diff
ferent teachers. The first meeting
was held Monday evening and ar
rangements made TO take up Bayard
Taylo1's "Views Afoot.," as the first
work to be read.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1890-10-17
SPECIMEN CASES.

S. II. Clifford, New Cassell, Wis,
was troubled with neuralgia and rheu-
matism, his stomach was disordered,
his liver was affected to an alarming
degree, appetite fell away, and he
was terribly aeduced in flesh and
strength. Three bottles of Electric
Bitters cured him.
Edward sheppard, Harrisburg, ILL.,,
had running sore on his leg of eight
years standing. Used three bottles of
Electric BItters and seven boxes of
Hucklen's Arnica Salve and his leg
is sound and well.
John Speaker Catabwa, Ohio, had
five large fever sores on his leg, doc
tors said it was incurable. One bottle
of Electric Bitters andone box ofBuck-
lens Arnica Salye cured him entirely.
Sold by w. J. Evans.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1890-10-17
BALLARp's FOREGROUND SYRUP.

We guarantee this to be the best
cough syrup manufactured in the
whole wide world. This is saying a
great deal, but it is true. For con-
sumption, coughs, colds, sore Threats,
sore chests, pneumonia, bronchitis,
asthma, Group, whooping cough and
all diseases of the throat and lungs
we positivelo guarantee Billiards.
Horehound Syrup to be without any
equal on the whole face of the globe.
In support of this statement we refer
to every individual who has ever sold
it. Such evidence is indisputable.
Sold by Scott & Son.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1890-10-17
Buclken's Arnica Salve.

The best salve in the world for cuts,
bruises, sores, ulcers, salt rheum, fever
sores, letter ,chapped hands, chilblains
corns, and all skin eruptions, and posi-
lively cures piles, or no pay required.
1t is guaranteed to give perfect salts
faction or money refunded. Price %
cents per box. For sale by w. J. Ey-
ans, Successor to Goodhue d Evsnsl,
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1890-10-17
SnndaY Services.

Baptist church, Pastor, Chas. n. H.
Moore. Sunday school at 10 a. m.
Supt. VIM. Goodhue. Preaching at
IL. subject, 1.-THE Prayer of Faith"
Young peoples meeting, $50, preach
ing 7:3o, subject, ''Biind Bartimeas.p
IThe public cordially invited.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1890-10-17
Shipping Apples wanted

Call and see my buyer. Cash price
at present is from 90 to 65 cents per
bushel for hand picked winter apples.
Hart & Hankins building north side
square, lola, Kansas.
w. III. PENDLEToN.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1890-10-17
Republican Picnic +!
AT lola PARK TOMORROW

and everybody and his aunt will
be there. This will only last one
day, but there is a picnic. every
day for those who take advantage
of the astonishing prices I am now
Offering in order to make room for
the immense stock of winter goods
I have ordered. I am making a par
ticular drive on
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1890-10-17
Teachers Examination

There will be public examination
for teachers certificates at the school
house in lola, October %, 1880, be
ginning at $50 o'clock a. m.
ED. T. BARBER, Go. Supt.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1890-10-17

one and one which will doubtless get
full share of the trade. The new
stock isnow arriving and will be ready
for business next week, in the Hend-
ricks building.
Mr.. C. B. Wyatt, formerly of Gar
nett, has secured the Apple photograph
gallery and has had it thoroughly re-
fitted and expects to be ready for bust
ness tomorrow. Mr.. Wyatt comes
well recommended and will doubtless
command his share of the public pat
ronage.
Mr.. J. w. Mccormick fell from a
coal car the other day and fractured
his hip bone. DIR. l.. TOZer was called
and reduced the fracture and the pa
tent is doing as well "a could be ex-
pected. Owing to his advanced age,
however, recovery will De slow.
A large delegation from Humboldt
will come up tomorrow to attend the
Republican picnic aud will be accom-
panied by the Ladies Military Band.
The music alone tomorrow will be
worth coming miles to hear.
Colony Free Press: Several carloads
of cattle were shipped in here last
week. We understand that they orig
inally came from the Strip, and were
brought here to winter. They look as
If they had seen hard times.
The three newspapers published in
lola, mailed during the last quarter
the total weight of 4, l11.pounds. OF
this amount the REGISTER furnished
1904 pounds, or nearly three times the
quantity at both the other papers.
Miss Ella Stiles, who has been en-
gagged in missionary work in Idaho,
stopped in lola this week on her way
home to New York, to spend few
days with her cousin, Mrs. Alex. Ew-
art, and other relatives.
Catoctin clarion., 1890-03-27
tEE CATOCTIN CLARION
Church Directory.

Reformed Churrh-Rev. g. A, Whitmoie
pas Or Weekly Lectures Tuesday evening.
Meetinr of Ladies' Aid Society every second
wednesday evening. Regular services by
appointment from the pulpit.
Lutheran Church-Rev. J. II. Barb, pas.
tor. Services, Sunday 10 A. NJ. and $50 +.
N. Sunday School, g. 2 NJ. Prayer Meet
lug, Wednesday, GAS P. NJ.
Morsvian Church, (Mechanicstown) Rev.
r. W. Hrrbst Pastor. Preaching every Sun
vav, alternating morning and evening"
Irayer Meeting every Friday evening Sun
day School 8 O'Clock, a. IN.
Meravlan Church (Uraceham) Rev. H. W.
Eerbst, Pastor.
Preaching every Sunday, alternating NOR
ling and evening.
Mite Society every Monday evening.
Prayer Meeting every "Wednesday evening.
Cnitel Brethren Church-Mite Society
srcond AMI Fourth Wednesday
sunday school 3 p. NJ.
PRAYER Meeting every Thursday evening.
Regular Services by appointment from the
pulpit.
Methodist Episcopal Church Rev. J.
F.F. GRAY Pastor. Services every alternate
sunday NJ 70 A. NJ Sunday School A. N.
Irayer Meeting every Thursday evening at
T. NJ
Emitted Brethren Church-Rev g. J.
Roudabush Pastor. Services every alternate
Hun,lny at 3 y. H. Sunday School every
SUNDAY ut D. IN. Prayer Mecting every
Thursday evening at Up M
Catoctin clarion., 1890-03-27
THE FOUR RED DEVILS.

When l first came to the city and
went into Mr.. Maltby's law Office az a
clerk | had seen nothing and knew
nothing but that which could be seen
and heard IN one of very smallest of all
country villages l had read enormous.
ly, for my parents would rather have
been without bread than without books
and magazines, aud were Besides very
comfortably we'll off but OF the festiyi-
ties of great cities, the balls, operas,
concerts and receptions, knew nothing
by experience and of course | fancied
them much more delightful than they
really were. What was my joy, then,
when Mr. Maltby, coming into the Of
fee one day placed handsome envelope
before me-!
My girls and boys are going to give
masquerade party he said, land they
want me to ask yor. They expect to
have a Jolly time. You'll rig up in
something you kno@-you can get 1t at
costulners-andw wear a mask until
supper time. You'll come p
Thank you. shall be delighted,' !
sald, and all day long visions Of happi-
ness danced through dy head, and |
could hardly wait for the closing Of the
office, 30 anxious was | to secure my
costutrss. For | had had brief notice ;
the ball was to be that very night, and
fancy it was only Il good natared
after-tnought of Mr.. Maltb7 to ask
young Tom,' as he always called me,
having known my father intimately as
Tom at school.
The envelope vas addressed to "Mr.
Thomas Parsons,' in correct form OF
course, and rather proud | was Of 1t.
Later on inclosed it in an envelope to
nv mother, that she might gee INTO
what elegant society her son had faIlon,
dropping it into d lamp post box on my
wnv re- tie cO>tllmer's.
Catoctin clarion., 1890-03-27
WHY?

The good we do is seldom known.
Why?
Oul wrongs to all the world are shown.
Why?
Our children who 80 well behave
When we're alone will kick and cave
When comp'ny comes, and wildly rave.
Whyl
The largest fishes all fall back.
Why?
We find the small end Of tack.
Why
Death, in his blind, impcrous sway,
Steals men of sterling worth each day
And lets quite useless mortsls stay
Why?
The person you may chance to owe
Why.
Will meet you everywhere you 60.
Why?
But he who's owing you keeps clear,
And, though you sea- ch him far and near,
You meet him scarcely once year.
Why?
The biggest fIui, is at the top.
Why?
And good resolves are first to flop.
Why'
The babies laugh when it is light,
But in the watches of the night
They wildly cry with all their tTiglyt:
Why?
The first time that man may we'd
Why
His purse is by the parson blcd.
Why?
But let that same man wed again,
The chances are the pnrson then
Win get "onc" instead Of ten
Why's
In summer when for rain we pray
Why?
The skies are clear day after day.
Why?
But when picnic party meets
Within the forests calm retreats
The rain comes down in drowning sheets
Why?
Chicago Herald.
Catoctin clarion., 1890-03-27
.rlsft p|ottru,
Because-Well, Just Because.

Because-Well, Just Becaus
thought I'd tell my story
In fashion such rs this;
thought I would, BECAUSE
Because | thought l would.
l fell in loye and married
The woman adored:
I'm nlarricd-well, because
Because fell in love.
I'm happy, tor I've got son,
TIE idol OF my life
I'm father now, BECAUSE
Because I've got son
My life is not failure
My married life, mean
With me no failure marriage is,
Because it's a success.
do not claim these lines Of mine
Are either wise or witty;
do not claim it, well, BECAUSE
Because you'd not believe it.
l don't believe the editor
Will give this space at all;
don't believe he will, because
! don't believe he will.