Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1890-11-14
EVENING UP THINGS.
How Drummer Resented q Hotel-Keep.
er's Rapacity.

hdPuCitys
/ had room next to commercial
traveller in st. Louis hotel, and when
both of us were packing up to go, after
a stay Of three or four days, / heard a
sudden crash in his room and went in to
ascertain the cause. He had the lounge
on its back and had broken off leg
"You see," he explained, in an answer
to my look of inquiry, 81 am getting
even with the house"
"How dosSou mean?"
"Sit down, my dear fellow" he con.
tinued, as he reached up and cracked
one of the gas globes with che door key
LET us theorize bit. The object of a
hotel is to furnish temporary home for
man away from his own. The idea ID
to feed and lodge him and make him
comfortable for money Consideration
The rate here is four dollars per daT|
Did you fee the porter for bringing VII
your trunk%'
Eyes"
$50 did I. That was sheer blackmaii.
Did you fee your waiter?'
"Yes."
$50 did l. We had to, or one wouldn't
been half waited on. That's more black,
mail How was the gas in your room?"
VERY poor"
EXACTLY. 1t is turned of SO that no
one can get half light. That's fraud
on the guests. Did you drink at the
bar?"
"A glass of beer"
sand they charged you ten cents, and
the glass was only pony. They made
fully 700 per cent. profit on that beer.
That is extortion. Did you have Ice
water at night?'
Eyes, two or three times"
"And you gave the bell boy dime
each time. You felt that you had to. He
felt that you ought to and stood waiting
for it, That was more extortion. Did
the mosquitoes bother you any?"
"Yes, nearly ate me up"
AN why not? There's not screen OF
any sort at any window in the whole
house. In other words, the Landlord
hasrl' t the slightest care for your com.
fort. He won't go to the least cost OF
trouble to give you good nights sleep
Buy any cigars in the hotel?'
YES"
"Well, they made from 15O to 200 per
cent. on them. Have any laundry?"
yes"
well they charged you from IS to 1O(
per cent. above outside prices Perhaps
you had coupe?"
eyes"
Ordered it through the Office prob
ably?"
"Yes."
"Well, you paid from 25 to SO per cent
above regular Outside rates. A mar
took your hat at I'll e dining-room door
He is stationed there to bleed the pub
lie, and he bled YOU If yougot shaved
you paid twenty-five per cent. over out
side rates Same if you got shine or
your shoes. AS a matter of fact, YOU
have been blackmailed and robbed from
basement to top story. Now, then, how
are you going to get even?"
II don't know"
"Then learn. / have broken leg of
that lounge. The fact won't be discov
cred for week or two No one can say
broke this globe. l take this bottle o
ink and pour It on the carpet and move
tn, 5u, .. along. With my knife ril
a slit in this mattress. It's on the unde
side, and won't be seen for month.
take this paper and crowd it into thu
overflow pipe of the waSh-stand ant
three or four days hence they will have
to call plumber. Now, with my knit,
| crack two of the upper panes of thi
window. The pieces will work loose be
fore snow flies. l rack these bureau
drawers so and so, and shut them up
and that will give the carpenter job
That's all, guess, and I'll leave it t,
any fair-minded man if have more
than evened up accounts. IN. Y. Sun.