Morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven [Conn.]) 1848-1894, 1890-06-30
HKGULATED.

Teacher What regulates the supply of
liquor in MaineT' Bright boy (who reads the
newspspers)-"Thed demand. ."-Puck.
Jndge-How do you dare to come into
court eoi Take yeur hat off !" Acoused-
But, judge, you know I'm no stranger heres
-Fliegsnds Blaetter.
1t makes all the difference In the world
whether you tell a man he Is an intellectual
light or tell him he is intellectually light
Terre Haute Express.
He-"May have the pleasure of your
company at supper, Miss Breezy" She
"You're little late, Mr.. Waldo; I've been
down to supper three times already
Judge.
my wifei" "Why do you askl" go because,
when gave her your love, as yen told me to
in your letter, she said 'Chestnuts '"-New
York Herald.
Tommy-Say, paw, what kind of a man Is
"iayf" Mr.. Figg1A "jay," my son, is q
name given by the $15-a-week actor to some
man who has staid at home and made fort.
une.-Terre Haute Express.
"Why are you 40 different from writer's
like Stevenson and othsr writers Of romance,
Mr.. Rsalistr asked the critic. stI can't im-
| agine," returned Realist. s'I guess you are
| right" said the crltic.-New York Sun.
Old gentleman (from head Of the stairs ct
a late hour)-"Clara, think you and that
young man have talked enough for one eve
| ming" Clara-"All right, pa. We won't
say another word. Magazine.
Mr.. Citiman-sMy deal, let's take cottage
| in the country" Mrs. Citiman-"Why didn't
you propose It earliera It is too late now to
make garden" Mr.. Ar.Oitiman-''Yes, that's
why didn't propose 1t earlier."-New York
Weekly.
Wibble-"Do You remember what precious
stone is said to have the power of warning
| the wearer when he Is In dangers" Wab
ble-'I am not sure, but think Ii muse bt
the ruby. The ruby nose, you know."-Terre
Haute Express.
New boarder-"Has the lady next dool
kept boarders longa" Landlady-"Wsll, no
she's BIN known TO hang onto one for two
weeks, but he. poor fellow, was sick, and
didn't have strength enough to leave."-
Lawrence American.
Not True That BE Never Worked.-LsdJ
giving tramp luncheon)-'I ought not t.
give yeu this. I suppose you never work.
Tramp-"You are mistaken, madam.
work hard every day" Lady-"Whas d.
meals for nothing, tell ."-Lippinoott
Magazine.
ST think" said the poet, as he droppes
his feet ON the editors desk and puffed
stream of smoke chsndelierwards, "that
will never b really happy until am dead.
"Yea," said the editor, "thsre are a goo
many Of us who feel the same way. There
good deal depending on you. washing
ton Post.
A New Toy.-Clsrk lin toy store)-"Thi
last invoice Of rubber Dutchmen is defective
The weight In the bottoms is too light, an
when they fall over they don't bound n
again." Dealer (thoughtfully) y)-"Maybe dc
vas some new styles Of Dutohnen toy. May
. be dose means Shermany midout Bismarck.
New York Weekly.
II really can't endure that man who live
4 in the Eat under us. To-day again he VIC
very impolite to mel" "Well, never mini
my dear. We shall soon be even with hin
To-day our Eva takes her piano lesson, ye
: know. and If he permits himself again to
: impolite to you I will engage someone |
; give her singing lessons. too."-Fliegent
Blatter..
A Good tart.-Nerrill-"Hew is the ne
university in your city coming oni' Woolle
. -"Oh, splendidly-ths base ball and foo
ball grounds are laid out, the bath hou
, built and we've secured seven athletic II
: struotors. We're going to hire man
: teach Latin and history and all that, and
= expect we'll open with large class ne
. fall. .n-West Shore.