St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-06-08
WHEN AND wHoMTo MARRY.
Rules That Have Been Tried and
Seldom Found Wanting.

Seldom Found Wanting.
Whom to marry and when to marry
are grave questions that confront many
people who have not yet come to feel
that marriage is lottery.
(. Hence arise questions like the fol-
lowing:
l. How can / tell when love?
2. Can | afford to marry, If poor?
4. What sort of person will l be
happy with?
4. VIII always be loved?
5. Will | always love?
6. Will | ever see somebody whom L
will love more?
Z. Shall marry young, or shall l
wait until am mature?
s. Should man marry widow?
g. Should a girl marry widoWer?
10. Is it always we'll to marry if one
loves?
II. Is there love at first sight?
II. What is love at first sight?
And many others.
Ye who are married can best answer
many of these questions. Only one who
has made experiments in marriage in
all its phases could Slngly answer all of
them. And not unlikely the result of
such experiments would prove anything
but editying.
am, therefore. prepared only to give
he result of my own venture in the
matrimonial boat as a partial guide,
completing the latter by giving the
results of other mems and many
women's ventures, or marriages.
Probably the first approach of that
tender feeling known as love is felt
when at school red cheek seems to the
average boy lovely as a peach, and he
respects the pOSsessor for her gift.
prettier than any he has seen in the
picture book mother bought him for
Christmas present, and he wishes that
he might have this living picture book
near by to look at when he chooses.
Now, she with the red cheek or she
with the big blue eye may see across
the aisle in the little SchOol-rOom a
bright little fellow whose clothes fit
as nicely and look as pretty as those on
the doll she takes delight in fondling at
home.
For doll is the first object outside
the immediate household for which
your little daughter shows any liking.
The doll is her beau ideal. To win her
favor one must conform to that model.
Its shape, the color OF its hair and
eyes, its clothing speak to her in IAN
guage mystic and full Of meaning. To
her it is the symbol of mothers care,
first love. wifely devotion and perhaps
the incentive of those sweet batteries
that in after years may turn some poor
fellows head.
The Influence of the doll is never lost {;
| it survives through life. Behind it all
is the desire to possess something to
respond to the FEELINGS, and rather than
not have anything we too frequently
| take what does not satisfy our desires.
| And as our impressions of what we
need are true or false, so will posses
! sion bring joy or sorrow, and when the
/ question comes to us, whom and when
shall we marry? we should inquire into
our needs and ascertain just what sort
of partner will supply our needs.
The question should never resolve
itself into whether blonde should marry
blonde, whether brunette should marry
brunette, or whether partners should
be of different compilations. An investi-
CATION on the complexion hypothesis
might prove entertaining, but would, l
fear. bring us back to where we started.
But to my answers:
1. You are in love when you absolute
ly need the object OF your affection.
n pun pCtoOii Sou ethOlU w Ahol1 y
if marriage will increase the possibili-
ties of escape from poverty.
8. You will be happy with the one
whose tastes, education and moral views
are similar to your own.
f. You always will be loved if you
observe the above rules and do not lose
sight of the fact that
Still in mutual sufferance lies
The secret OF true living;
Love scarce is love that does not know
The sweetness of forgiving
5. You always will loveif you realize
that obedience to duty is the only medi-
cine for conscience, and that perfect
happiness in this world at least is but
he-shadow of a dream.
6. You will see somebody whom you
will love more when your sense of duty
becomes blunted, which will only hap
pen in case you have not observed the
first rule laid down.
Z. Marry young if your nature has de-
veloped fully; if not, wait until your
nature has developed. Rather than
marry when undeveloped never marry
at all.
s. Marry widow according to rules
laid down previously.
8. Same as No. s.
10. Always marry if you truly love.
but do not cOnfound fancy or infatua-
ton with the noble passion.
IL and II. There is love at first
sight, but it is simply quick and
mutual apprehension of similarity in
tastes, education and moral views.