davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1890-01-23
ALLEGED HUMOR.
written with Our Five Dollar

Written with Our Five Dollar Shears.
When the miIkmaid is awkward
and fretful the COW generally turns
pail.
Rocky Repartee "You wait until
the Grow flies" You wouldn't
Kickapoo Indian then, would you P"
"Well, I'll Sioux later y Boston
Herald
The Record suggests dropping a
nickel i'll the slot and getting rid of
the train-boy. The better way would
be to drop the train-boy in the slot
Howell Courier
James MISUNDERSTANDING
sor; an how far is it to Phaynix-
Vile" -Hayseed- good ways.
Who do you want to see there ?"
Mr.. Mulpheny-"Sure it's mysilf
want to see there Harper's Weekly.
Miss Arabella Guy-"Didn you
evergo to Sunday school, little boy?"
Johnny Kite-"Yes'm, but nobody
hain't asked me dis year" Poor,
forsaken lamb I'll ask You! Where
did you formerly go?" where dey
had Christmas-treesl p Budget.
Old lawyer-''I cannot take your
case Circumstantial evidence is so
strong against you that it will be
impossible to prove your innocence. :"
Prisoner-"But | am not innocent
am guilty" "Oh! Then maybe
can clear you. = New York Weekly.
Fame's Pinnacle. Rob-My dads
a squire and gifts his name in the pa
per every day Tom (contemptu-
ously)-That's nuthin' My dad
took links liver pills and got his
picter in the papers.-[Pittsburg
Bulletin.
A lady tells us that she heard a col
ored preacher say: de fo' part of
de house will please sit down; fo' de
hind part cannot see de TO part if de
TO part persist in standing befo' de
hind part, to de utah dissolution of
de hind part by de 70 part. -[Chris-
tan Advocate.
Water in the Snake river has been
so low this season that settlers have
bitterly complained of the dust raised
by the salmon going up stream.
They threaten to ask for an apprO-
priation to sprinkle the river next
year if the nuisance is repea ted
Alta California.
Aninspector visiting the asylum at
X was requested by the medical SUI
perintendentt to be very careful to adj
dress a certain patient as your i'm
perial majesty" the poor man inn
agining himself to be Julius Caesar,
and becoming furious if he did no re-
ceive what he considered proper re-
spect. The Inspector was careful to
follow instructions, and all went
well. Ona subsequent visit he again
addressed the patient by the same
title. What do you mean?" was
the reply. Don't talk nonsense.
I'm Plato" "Ohr' said the inspec-
tor, Il beg your pardon, l thought
you were Julius Caesar last year"
well, yes" replied the lunatic, 80 l
was, but that was by another moth
er!"-[ London Hospital.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1890-01-23

ated; that he has sold real estate to
the amount of 1858, 900, has collect
ed rents amounting to SIG. 29O, has
collected interest amounting to S25,-
400, and has transferred property
to himself and his wife worth $780,
600. He acknowledged having re-
ceived $97 1855 which makes a total
of 1912 ,145, not one cent of which
the heirs have benefited by He has
paid out in specific requests but $13,-
500, but has paid to the trustees
$137, 900 in salaries, of which he re-
ceived $4,000 and Schenck $50, 900.
The entire property, the complainant
alleges, has been wasted, and moth
ing has been left for the heirs or for
the establishment of the Samuel
Wood musical college. Springfield
Republican,
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1890-01-23
Rest for Tired and Sick Nerves
THE NERVINE,
DR.. A. j. WIZARDS

Establishment devoted exclusively to the
treatment of nervous and (mild) mental dis
eases. Called also the REST CURE be
cause the $. Weir Mitchell Rest Treatment
is here made n speciality.
DR. Willard was the Superintendent and
resident physician of Mary Fletcher hospital
for nearly six years. 1t was his long expert
there that induced him to establish this
home for those nervous invalidS who must
needs leave the work and worry of their own
homes, but could find in general hospital no
provision made for their special needs. His
sanitarium is entirely new, beautifully locat-
ed. with the lake and noun tains in plain
sight, and provided with all needed conven-
fences and medical appliances Heating is by
the hot-water system. Ventilation is Sc
cured by numerous fire-places. All the pa
tents rooms can have the sun, Special pains
has been taken with the plumbing. Dr. Viii
lard resides with his patients, and is conf
dent that they will here find quiet spot and
everything needed for their comfort and re-
covery. He refers by permission to Bishop
Bissell of Vermont, Pres. Dwight of Yale
Pres. Buckham and DrS. Grinnell, Wheeler
and Witthaus of University of Vermont, Rev.
DIR. Bliss and Hon. G. G. Benedict of Burling-
ton. The nurses here employed have received
special training. Board from s. to SO a
week. Other expenses reasonable. Send for
circular. mch 81
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1890-01-23

never can hurt butter, but the odor
of ensilage in the barn sometimes
taints the milk unless care is used.
In the process of making the butter
he advised churning the cream as
soon as the acid appears in order to
get the butter with creamy taste.
The judge on butter and cheese has
completed his work and says it is
the finest line of butter he ever saw.
The cheese is not SO good because it
is out of season. There are 105 en-
tries in the butter contest and 20 for
the cheese. In class 8, five pounds or
more in prints, w H. Chase of Shelf
field took second premium of Sc
scoring 90 points and A.C. Hastings
of West Waterford third premium of
81 scoring 81 points.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1890-01-23
THE LEGAL WRECK OF AN ESTA TIE

The wreck of Samuel Woods will,
whereby he aimed to create a public
trust to be named the Samuel Wood
musical college, in the city of New
York, is a striking illustration of the
readiness with which the law lends
itself to destroy what it should pro-
tect, and affords in itself sufficient
ground for calling for some move
ment of reformation by which legal
technicalities shall not be permit ted
to utterly antagonize and abolish
equity. Mr. Wood died in March,
1878, and left $1O5,OOO in requests
to various persons, and the remain
der of his considerable fortune, com
prising 100000 in personal prop
ertv and 100000 in real estate, to
found and endow the musical college,
as above mentioned. There is no
sort of question but that was what
he desired to do with his own for
tune, acquired by his own industry
and ability. Did the law make any
endeavor to carry out that purpose !?
Not the least. On the contrary, all
the machinery of the courts was at
once put in operation to defeat Mr.
Woods will, and this not in the in
terest of any body who had any
right to it, but for parties with no
claim to it, except that he had been
fool enough to trust them with the
execution of his project, and for the
lawyers who like vultures gathered
where the carcass was, and have in
three dozen years picked the bones
L Il, 4
ed little legal issue that gave the
plunderers their opportunity. Mr..
Wood had made a will in which he
named four trustees to found the
Samuel Wood benevolent institution
In codicil he had changed the trust
to the musical college, and had left
out one of the aforementioned trus-
tees. In the will the trustees were
instructed to apply to the Legislature
for a charter and an act of incorpOra-
ton, and in case these could not be
obtained within the life of the long
est liver of the four, the city Of New
York, through its municipal author
tiles, was to become the trustee
Well, these odd provisions were held
to make the trust contrary to law.
The property should then in the ma
ture of things have reverted to the
heir-at-law, Abraham Hewlett, a
farmer of Hampstead, L. l. Why
should not this have been decreed by
the courts, and all litigation closed
out? But the trustees were each to
receive $4,000 a year, and they stuck
to their gold mine.
The New York Times gives a de-
tailed account of the mannerin which
the wreckers of this estate proceeded
year after year, and then closes as
follows: 1t would be tedious to pur-
sue this matter to the present time.
Suffice is to say that although in
February, 1888, an accounting was
peremptorily ordered by Surrogate
Ransom, with mild rebuke to the
trustees, things still remain wholly
unsettled, and whatever there is left
of the property after paying all the
legal sharps and the great expenses
of this endless litigation, is in the
control Of Simonson, the only trustee
living Thelatest plaintiff, a niece of
Samuel Wood, makes these aver
ments: That Simonson received per-
sonal property worth 100000
which he has personally appropri-
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1890-01-23
A WONDERFUL STRUCTURE.

The new Forth railroad bridge, at
Queensferry, near Edinburgh, begun
seven years ago, is now completed,
and surpasses every other viaduct III
the world. The superstruction
throughout is of Siemens Marten
steel, and about 50, 900 tons of metal
were used in its construction. The
total length is nearly one mile and
five-eighths. The bridge is built on
the cantilever principle, which was
adopted after the Tay disaster rem
dered doubtful the suspension plan.
There are three main piers, consist
ing each of four masonry columns 40
feet i'll diameter, which rest either on
the rock or on bowlder clay 81 feet
below the level of high water, and
support the enormous weight of the
double cantilevers and heavily-loaded
trains. Two of the spans are Ito
feet in length. For 500 feet in the
centre ofthese there is room for vessels
carrying masts $50 feet high to pass
while the extreme hight of the struct-
ure is 361 feet-about the hight of
the cross on st. Paul's, London
The North British Railway system,
with its allies, by the completion of
this structure, will easily control the
north Scotland traffic
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1890-01-23

No wonder there is so much crOak-
ing about the dangers of travel when
one considers the number of railroad
frogs Baltimore American.
City Cousin-''Uncle Abner, do you
play whist ~ Farmer Hayseed-
mo, Charley; l don't know any
thing about any game but bunco. y
Judge.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1890-01-23

In recent grammar examination
in one of our Boston schools a class
was required to write a sentence con-
tanning a noun in the objective case.
One of the boys wrote the following
sentence: The cow does not like to
be licked" What noun is there in
the objective case?" asked the teach
er. Cow" said the boy "Whv is
cow in the objective case?" "Be-
cause the COW objects to being lick
ed Boston Transcript
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1890-01-23
NORTHWESTERN
Guaranty Loan Company
Minneapolis, Minnesota.
L. f. NJ ENAGE, President.


THOMAS LOWRY, a ]. DEAN
w. s. STREETER.
F. J. PERCIVAI>, Sec'y. \. q. RIDER, Treas.
DIRECTORS.
Thos. Lowry, Pres. Minneapolis st. R'y Co.
R'Y Co.
John s. PiI1sbury. Chas. \. Pil1sbury * Co.
L. w. Herrick of Herrick Brothers.
Loren Fletcher of L. Fletcher Y Company
Clinton Morrison, Pres Farmers X Mechan-
les Savings Bank.
Geo \. PillSbury of ChaS- a. PilISbury * Co.
c. II. Petit of Petit, Christian x Co.
Joseph Dean of Security Bank.
H. L. Fletcher, Treas Minneapolis X Pacific
Railway Company
VIM. II. EuStis, Treas North American Tcle
graph Company.
Philip H. Nefer of Nehcr & Carpenter. Troy,
New York.
l.. +. Menage, President of Company.
William s. Strecter.
Conservative Investments for sale, includ-
ing g per cent , year bonds in denominations
$50. 500, $500, $1,000 and $1,000 Short
time collateral paper and First Mortgages
on city property and Improved Farms. A
New Feature, our inStalmcnt bonds Please
send to Company for circular or apply to
local banks
Branches 40 broadway, New York,
Drcxel Building, Philadelphia. Suffolk Trust
Co, Boston. Industrial Trust Co, ProVi-
dcnce, r. l.. C &. Chapman. Banker, Port
land, Me
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1890-01-23
New England City

than for any other portion of that valley, as
this section of Georgia geologically belongs
to the great iron and coal deposits of Ala
bama. and comprises some of the richest por-
lions of that wonderful region. 1t is in the
same valley with Fort Payne, the city of
phenomenal growth, and is the centre of the
great iron belt lying between Nashville,
Knoxville. Atlanta and birmingham.
IMPROVEMENTS. The building of the
city will be pushed at once, the company
ufacturing enterprises. who propose to move
their business to New England City soon
definite terms be agreed upon.
The American Loan and Trust Company,
50 Congress St, Boston, is the trustee and
transfer agent of the New England Company.
DIRECTORS.
Hon. Roswell Farnham, President. ex-Gov.
of Vermont
George NJ. G1azier, 1st Vice Pres Boston
Herbert L. Perry, 2nd Vice-PreS., Boston.
Isaac ]. Brown, Sec. and Treas, Boston.
George r. Eaton, Lancaster, n. H.
Henry c. Libbey, Alder Brook N. II.
Alonzo F. Pike, Pike Station, N. H.
Benjamin F. Dutton, Boston.
Frank B. Pratt, Boston.
Thomas ]. Lumpkin, Trenton, Ga.
George ]. Hall, Stevenson, Ala.
Hon. Frank ID. Currier, Canaan, n. H.
John Farr, Jr-, Littleton, n. II.
Correspondence invited from all wishing
to purchase stock, establish manufacture
ing enterprises in the South. Ci9&23
Address
The New England Co.,
Rooo1n G. Roe+oo
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1890-02-07

ter of the sidewalk, never turning to right
or left, disdaiafuI of all the attention
they attract, but obedient to every word
addressed to them by their attendant. /
am told that these dogs have a room of
their own, fitted up almost as luZuriOusly
as that of their mistress, and that all the
pictures and ornaments are appropriate to
canine taste. AS the young lady owning
the little beasts is handsome and rich,
she naturally comes IN for q great share
of attention from the men, but at present
there is no promise of any serious result
from it all. A young fellow observed of
her: at is all very well to get girl who
is a crank on dogs oil in corner, but you
had better let the other fellow marry her.
She ties ribbons on her poOdIe's tail and
takes boxing lessons. Well, that is mag
nifcent, but it is not love-" think that
Young mans head is quite level.
When the maiden of to-day wishes to
lavish her finest efforts on some article Of
wearing apparel, she deYOtes herself to
hat Now q hat has really more to do
with feminine beauty than any other part
of the toilet, for when this is once salts
factory, few even Of the Wearers sex
think Of proceeding to the criticism of
the dress. When they can be worn the
large hats are vastly more becoming to
most girls. A 1Ow-cTOWned hat made of
white or pGle-bluo crepe SHRED on
frame, as in the one pictured with a
wreath Of flowers wound about 1t, ond
cluster Just inside the brim, resting upon
the hair, makes a becoming frame for any
pretty face. Feathers are used IN the
same way for trimming, If preferred to
flowers. Upon evening hats and bOnnets
particular pains are lavished, for these
come more prominently before the eye of
the public. Theater hats-sO say the
managers. at Ieast-shOuld be small, out
of regard for the feelings OF others, but
they may be very elaborate. One of the
] Il --GL 4 -s- Il
IS a kind of small tOque without any
crown, so that the hair shows through.
Tt consists of a twist of light crepe, or
even velvet in some pale shade, worked
In gold, and Ornamented in front by a
velvet bow and a handsome aigrette. The
hair is worn frizZed and curls up around
and inside of this unique head dress
Strings may be worn with the toqUe or
not, as fancy dictates
There is nothing so absurd as to be i'm
possible to the mind Of an inventive
crank. into a millinery store went
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1890-02-07

which enhanced the attractions and added
to the comfort of our early nineteenth
century predecessors, it would be we'll
not to overlook the protective form of
head covering popular until within the
last thirty years, and to consider whether
the eVer-increasingp prevalence of catarrhal
and neuralgia affections may not, to
very considerable extent, be attributed to
the exposed condition of the ears and
back of the head enforced by the present
style of head-cOvering. At times mod
crate and unassuming, at others exagger-
ated to proportions verging on the ridic-
ulous, but ever in some shape present, the
cottage" or poke" was evidently for
more than half the century accepted as
the form of bonnet most conducive not
only to the appearance, but also to the
comfort of the Wearer, since not only the
bitter blasts of winter, but to a certain
extent the ardent RAYS of summer sun
shine were alike mitigated by its use.
With the hair tightly drawn up from the
back of the head, and mere apology for
a bonnet placed on the top, and STRINGS
which If worms they have been for the
last two or three years-are most care
fully fastened IN such a position as to be
of little or no comfort to the Wearer,
small wonder is it that we hear
incessant complaints of neuralgia. Now
and again wells are adopted for the pro-
lection of the face, but these probably
do more harm than good, as they serve
to collect and retain moisture, and sig
nal1y fail to protect the parts most sus-
ceptibIe to cold. For little folks more
sensible fashions have been adopted,
and no mother would now permit her
little daughter to be exposed to the risks
she herself runs, the pretty Kate Green
way granny bonnets of soft plush or
merinO fulfilling, if not of too weighty
construction, every hygienic requirement.
AS to their becOmingness, no two opin-
ions can exist, and though it may be urged
that the face of a child will carry off
what would be faCal to the appearance of
an adult, a glance at any collection of
old fashion plates will afford convincing
proofs that our grandmothers were per-
fectly ware of what was calculated to
enhance their own charms as we'll as
those of their daughters. and in the adop-
ton of large and comfortable bOnnets by
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1890-02-07

lank, cadavsTous, seedy man. VINO did not
seem likely to prove buyer OF feminine
dnery, and therefore was not welcomed
with ready cordiality. he insisted on
seeing the boss, however and when he
had gained the presence or the propri-
etregs he explained that he had made two
inventions that would enrich her if she
would only boom them. One was 8 de-
vice to utilize a fare rimmed hat or
bonnet as help to deaf women. The
brim was to act as a collector of sounds.
and, by suitably shaping the article, it
would conduct them to the ears of the
wearer. That has feasibility? Perhaps.
But his other discovery was an utterly
wild one. 1t consisted Of conceaIing a
series OF mirrors in high hat, so that in
a theater the Wearer might have a refiec-
ton OF the stage thrown upon q disc in
her lap. Thus, no matter how short of
stature she might be, or how dispropOr-
tionately her joints might make her sit
down nearly on the back of her neck, the
millinery mirrors would practically place
her eyes at the height of her hat.
Well, it would be good sense to plead
for the invention and exploitation of
warm headgear for women. The top one
in the three sketched together might
serve as a model. 1t is merely the quaint,
brOad-rlmmed poke, with a full border of
lace falling from its edge. The hat itself
Is soft felt, scarcely more than a hood
and if the owner happens to have re-
ceiVed Christmas present of some
handsome silver or gold hat pins, thsee
will come very nicely into use. The
other two are street styles. The former
Is simply trimmed with velvet and ostrich
tips. The latter has become a faVorite
shape here this winter, and Will explain
itself. It consists of dark velvet on a
wire frame, with cluster of velvet loops
and ends in front.
Borrowing as we are in the year of grace
1890 not a few of the fashions Of9attire
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1890-02-07

"Can I use your telephone a minute ?"
she asked, as she ran into a neighbours
on Second avenue with a shawl over
her head.
ooh, certainly"
q am going to give a party next
week, and I want to invite a few
friends"
Eyes 2"
1T is to be very select party.
"Yes?"
"OnIv my friends"
"Yes?"
And, therefore, you-you won't
be-"
ANGRY if am not invited, nor won't
consider 1t cheeky If you use my tele-
phone to invite others? Oh, no. Any
one who keeps a telephone in the house
for use of the neighborhOOd soon gets
used to anything. Why, a man came
In here the other day and used the line
to cali nay husband up from town and
dun him for a bill Go ahead and call
up the sub-office." - Detroit Free
Press.
EXPERIENCE in business teaches a
man that too many debtors don't pay
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1890-02-07

THE Rev. W. II. Miiburn, the blind
chaplain of the House of Representa-
tives, is a native of Philadelphia, and
was born in 1922. He lost the sight of
one eye when quite young, and the
other soon became practically useless.
He mastered the blind alphabet, and
at the age Of 20 was ordained a minis
ter After that he travelled over two
hundred thousand miles, filing ap-
pointments to preach in all the South
ern States. Within the last thirty
years he has preached in nearly every
State in the Union and in some Euro
pean countries. He has been chaplain
Of the House since 1888. and can, in all
probability, hold the place indefinitely.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1890-02-07
Rights Of a Chinese Husband.

If man beats his wife, but does not
break her limbs or MAIN her, the law
takes no notice of it; if a wife beats
her husband she is liable to receive
100 blows, and the husband may sepa-
rate from her. Those who have been
shocked by the sale of women in the
famine regions viii be interested in
knowing that the law provides that
he who from poverty sells his wife
shall not be heavily punished; let the
woman revert to the last husband Chat
Is, to the man she was sold tor
Pail Mall Gazette.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1890-02-07

bring his own cigar to the clubhouse,
and whoever wants g drink there must
have brought It along with him
dreadful condition that has not yet
been known IN the club. The aim of
the club is to provide rooms for read
ing and card-playing, but no playing
for money is permitted, and at 10
O'Clock every night the club-rooms are
closed.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1890-02-07
Moasn's SCHOOL szozs,-mads in our

Moasz's SCHOOL sHozs,-made in our
large shoe factory at Omaha, Nebraska.
Ask your dealer for them Refuse to take
any others. If not kept in your town. write
US asking where to get them. They wear
longer and fit better than any other shoes.
Shoes have always bsen made too narroW.
We make them wide. A reward of Fifty
Dollars in gold paid for every pair of our
own make of shoes that contain a particle
of sh2ddy, or anything but solid leather.
We make one hundred and fifty styles Of
Women's, Misses and Children's sewed and
Standard Screw, Grain, Glove, Kid and
DOngOla. Elegant styles, wide and good
fitting. We also carry one hundred and fifty
styles of Mems Goods, Rubbers. sc.
". MORSE & CO.,
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1890-02-07
FuUv Identified.

90, Lawd!" cried old Elder Peters,
at a recent negro campmeeting, @hab
marcy on dat 20 sistah settin' undah
dat big ellum tree-de one wild de
green dress an red shawl an blue bon
net an wicked eye an fat noseI Her
wild de big brass buzzum pin on an all
70 front teeth out an otherwise humly
ez she kin Wei be-good Lawd, hab
marcy on her !7-T Time.