Bismarck weekly tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1943, 1890-05-30
A BEAR CONVERSATIONS,
HOW THE TAME BEARS YEARN
AFTER THEIR FOREST HOMES,

7OV ITE lame BEARS YEARN
AFTER THEIR FOREST HOMES.
Some Family Condolences from Imprisoned
Bears in Central Park-Thoughtful Bear
Will Bring Up Their Cubs Tame-Pea.
nuts Better than Men.
The bear pit in Central park was surround
ed by the usual collection of admiring Spec
tators. The brown bear from the Rockies
and the black bear from Pennsylvania were
walking around and looking solemn.
"See the cute and cunning bears" exclaimed
a lady to her little boy. "Isn't it too bad to
shut them up 500 See how they pine for their
far away forest home, Pass in the cakes to
them, Johnniel" 80
johnnie passed in the cakes, and other pity
ing admirers handed in a lot of peanuts and
handfulso of candy. The bears accepted the
toothsome offerings and retired to the grotto
in tie rocks.
'Pining for our far away forest homel"
chuckled the black bear, examining a cake In
his mouth and poking the brown bear in the
ribs. "Are you pining much, Brownyp'
mot as far as the returns are inl" replied
r. " POoA4uU ACA1 44UO Uuo
pit and grinning from ear to ear.
''This beats doubling up in a boiler tree or
hole in the rocks and sucking paws all win
ter, doesn't It'll" said the black bear.
doe itg" replied the brown. "Why, this
is a snapl No more shopping around in the
dim lit woods, roofing for grub and lodging
buckshot for me! How's that cakea"
"Better'n a ton O. wild honeyl Here, grab
a piece. I only wish l could git word up to
som O. my folks in Pennsylvania to come
down here and be tame bears. Is the peanuts
goods"
"Beechnuts and acorns can't hold a candle
to one side of 'em. Shuck a few. Pinine
for far away forest home, eh2 Certainly
Chuck over a toothful O. that candy, please.
Say, you never told me yet how you hap
pened to strike luck and git fired in aere,
Blacky."
HOW BLACKY WAS CAPTURED.
II was taking a stroll in the woods, hest
tating between a pig that belonged to a
farmer a couple of miles away and a bee skip
that I knew was full O. honey in an orchard
about a mile In the other direction, when I
got my eyes on a man who was limping
along coward where I stood. I was in the
scrub oaks, and he couldn't see me.
II didn't hesitate a second. I had him by
the neck in less time than it takes to tell it,
and his wife don't know to this day, it hain't
likely, why he never got back home. I took
him to my den, but found he was SO old and
thin that he was nj good, and I had to throw
him away. He had a big, flat bottle in his
pocket, and l took it out and smelt of it. The
stuff that was In it smelt elegant. I tasted of
it and it tasted elegant. I swigged at it till I
began to tumble around and yell like a
painter. l remember kicking both O. my
young ones out O. doors, and that's all I re-
member till l came to and found myself tied
fast with ropes and a couple O. men standing
by and looking happy. I was too sick to try
and find out what was up. My head felt as
big as four bears heads ought to feel, and
oh! the thirst I had in me. The upshot of
the whole thing was that l wound up here,
and 50 I amt kicking, Have another pea,
nut2"
"Hullo!" exclaimed the brown bear.
"There's a woman and a baby, and another
bag of candy! She's going to let the baby
hand it in. I wish they'd make a mistake
some time, and pass one O. them babies
through! Then life would be worth living,
and no mistake; wouldn't~it2 One O. them
babies d be almost as good as young pig!"
'Surel" said the black bear, throwing a
gumdrop in his mouth. "Did you do much
In pig and mutton where you came from,
Browny?"
BROWNE's FOOD EFoRE CAPTURE.
mo, not n.dch," said the brown. I'VE had
to depend on miners, and on hunters from
the east. We had to hustle to get a miner,
the hunters cam easy. didn't think
anything of going out and gathering in a
hunter or two almost any day. But they
weren't much good. Too soft. Pshaw! Yon-
der comes one of them chaps in gray coats
they call sparrow chasers. We won't get
any peanuts or things while he's around. A
little boy was passing me some cake the other
day, and the sparrow chaser came up and
says to him:
"'Break away there! That amt fit for
bears to eat! It'll make 'em sick! Give it
here to me!' And he took it and ate it him
self9"
II gobbled up a dog one day that happened
to belong to a miner, and the miner started
out after me. l wasn't feeling very well, and
didn't make any fuss, but just plugged up
log and all, on east. only wish I could see
ulu duo tuank ntm. ne LulnDleu me rlSnG
into a %puddin'."
"If bears only knew it" said the black, re-
aectively, they'd bring up their cubs to be
anne bears, and give 'em a future. Hay,
Browny7"
"You bet your toe nails!" said the brown.
"When I do the wild bear act again you can
have my skin for an ulsterl We're the people
here!"
So the two bears went out in the pit and
walked around and whined and looked SOL
emn, 80 some more people would feel sorry
for them, because they were pining for their
far away forest homes.-New York Evening
Sun.
Pluck of q Florida Editor.
Away back in Florida territorial days Ed
tor Bartlett was running a weekly paper in