The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1890-04-03
WIT AND HUMOR.

1t is easy to bear the aching of an
other mans corns.-Terds Sifti1ags.
All the worlds a stage, and all the
men and women want to ride on top.
-IeGas Sjtirgs.
An idle of the serf-when an editor
takes a day off to ride out u free pass.
-EEr11irG StGr.
1t is the man who can't sing that
seems anxious that every one should
know it KOaakers Statesman.
Sunday-School Teacher What is
more to be desired than great riches?'
Chorus Of Scholars" Nothin'"-N 7.
Herald.
you say that drinking is one of
your husbands failures?" Failures?
0, no. 1t is one of his successes. IN.
T. Ledger.
The dude is regarded as in some re-
spects the most elegant of the many
patterns of cigarette-holders. WASH
iaagto'a Post.
Sometimes the office seeks the man,
but generally the man knows when
the office is on his track.-R0cheSte9
Post-EGpreSS.
Artful Dodger- "Quite spell we're
having?" Officer Quitting on the hand
cufs) Eyes, quite a cold snap. .
Boston Herald.
care you still out in the country?"
"Out! [ should say was. | am out
just the cost of my farm and two years
taxes" IN Y. Sat1a.
Her feet hew," read Ichabod, but
Jonathan spoiled the climax by saying,
Then she must have had soar toes"
-BjngbGnoto1a Republican.
Orderly Sergeant to Recruit (who
has his mouth wide open-''Be good
enough to close your reporting APP
paratus. FLiege1ade BI0tter.
1t generally turns out that, sooner or
later, every Napoleon of Finance"
bumps up to his sorrow against Well
ington of Justice. Philadelphia Press.
The real autocrat of the breakfast
table wears big apron, carries tray,
and doesn't bring in the coffee until he
gets good and ready Washington Post.
There are few things in the world
really worth getting angry about, but
there are lots of things that justify a
man in getting mad. Sonaervitle Jour-
maI
''They say all good Americans go to
Paris when they die" Eyes, all ex-
cept the messenger boys" Where do
they gop" ITO Philadelphia. IN. 7.
San.
Agnes-'T should think those long
tunnels would be very dangerous while
travelling" Mabel-''They are, if you
are not engaged. Burlington Free
Press.
He-"They say it takes three gener-
ations to make a gentleman" She
Indeed! What pleasant prospect
for your grandson. "-Czotbier and FIR
7aGsher.
Briggs-:'So you got the cook fired,
did you? How did you work it?"
Braggs-'I pretended to find re-
semblance between her and first wife. :"
-Terre Haate EGpreSs.
Cholly = 81 am practicing on the
typewriter every day now" Mollie-
Il thought there was remarkable
improvement in your counting here
lately. Terre HaWte Express.
"How would you like to sing in our
church choir?" asked the deacon.
''Thank you," she replied, sweetly,
''but | never had any ambition in the
way of light opera. . Washington Post.
A man has to have moral courage to
refrain from looking sidewise at the
letter his next neighbor in the horse
car is diligently reading. A woman
can't do it, anyway.-SonaerUilte Jour-
nal.
''What is Old Probabilities? asked
Willie, who had been listening to the
conversation about the weather. 1T
is a glaring misnomer," replied an old
gentleman with sigh Washington
Post.
Sucker (who lives on his friends)-
"What's them? Beets? No. thanks.
I never eat beets." Blunt-''Does you
credit, old man. 1t would look q lit
tie like cannibalism, that's fact. =
Boston Transcript.
Helpful Wife-''Why is it, my dear,
that although you have so often been
nominated for Office you have always
been defeatedP" Defeated Candidate
(gloomily)- have always run On
taxpayers tickets. ~. 7. Weekly.
"A penny for your thoughts!n ex
claimed Miss Amy to young Goslin,
20 aw-I don't want to wob you like
that, doncher know" replied Goslin,
and then he couldn't see why every
body laughed SO uproariously-M. Y
Sun.
Fenderson-''W What is the reason, /
wonder, that that fellow comes here