Waterbury evening Democrat. [volume] (Waterbury, Conn.) 1887-1895, 1890-01-30

and thlrty-three cents apiece. I've got
bills to pay tomorrow for lumber and
bricks, and my third will pay 'em. If 1
don't I'll go to pieces. You don't want
to see mo break up business, do you?
Now, jerry says I, that won't do. You
haven't got enough to divide into three
parts. Putty and mo agreed to go halves
with what we get out of you, and when
I lay out a piece of business l don't
make no changes. Half of that money
is fer me, and half is for Putty. So just
hand it out, and don't let's have no
more iabberin'
Jerry he looked at mo pretty hard
and then says he: You're about the
close-hsted and meanest man ever met
with. Here l offer you q third part of
my money, and all you've got to do is to
take 1T and go away peaccable. I'd be
wlllin to bet two to one that it's moro
than you expected TO get, and yet you
are not satisfied now I'll be hanged if
I'm going to do business for you You
can be hanged if you like says l, but
you'll do the business all the same NO,
l WON'T says ne, and he turns to Putty
Henderson. Now, Putty says he,
you've got pile more sense than this
pal of yourn, and I'm goin' to SEQ if
can't do business with you. Now, you
and me together can lick this Tommy
Randall just as easy as not, and if you IL
help me do It III not only divide the
money with you, but III give you fifty
dollars extra, So that instead of fifteen
hundred and fifty dollars-that' $ all he'd
given you, if he didn't cheat Sou--you'll
have sixteen hundred. and Ill have IF
teen hundred instead of the thousand
and thirty-three dollars which l would
have had left if my first offer had been
took. SO, Putty, what do you say to
| that?' Now, Putty he must have been
| o little sore with me on account of the
arguments we'd had about dividin',
and he was mighty glad besides
| to get the chance OF maxim fifty dollars
eXtry, and he said it was all right,
and he'd agree. Then l thought it was
about time for me to take in some of
my sail, and says l: Jerry, that's q pref
ty good joke, and you can take my hat
as soon as l get new one. but of course
l dom mean to DO hard on you, and il
you really have bills to pay tomorrow
I'll take third, and Putty'll take an
other, and we'll go away pcaocful.' No
you WON'T sings out Jerry, and with
that no jumps out of bed right at me,
and Putty Henderson he comes at mo
from the other side, and between tho
two, they gave me the worst lichin
ever got in my born days: and then
they dragged me downstairs and
kicked me out of the front door, and
had hardly time to pick myself up be-
| fore l saw policeman about block off,
and if he hadn't been a fat one he'd had
me sure. 1t wouldn't have been pleas
| H.
| that time.
$50 you see, ladies and gents, that it's
true what said-things don't always go
right in our line of business 10 more
! than any other one"
81 think you We're served exactly
, right said Aunt Martha; land I Won
der such an experience did not induce
! you to reform"
! 1T did, ma am, it did, said the burg
/ lar Il made Il vow that night that if
+ ever again had to call in any one to
| help me in business of that kind
wouldn't go pard with him. Id pay
him so much for tho job, and I'd take
tho risks, and Two stuck to it.
but even that don't always work
Luck sometimes goes aEin Il man, even
whom he's working by himself. l 70
member a thing of that kind that was
| boastly hard on ne. A gentleman en-
ploycd me to steal his daughter"
WHAT! exclaimed my Wife and Aunt
Martha. ''Steal his own daughter!
What do you mean by that?''
That's what it was" said the stout
burglar, no moro nor less. | was rec
commended to the gent as a reliable
party for that sort CT thing. and l met
MIN to talk it over and then he told me
just how the case stood lie and his
| wife were separated and the daughter,
about eleven years old. had been given
to her by the court, and she put her into
q hoarding-school, and the gent he was
goin' to Europe and he wanted to get the
| little gal and take her with him. He
tried to get her once and it Slipped up,
and so there wasn't no good in hia show,
in hisself at the school any more, which
was In the country, and he knowcd that
if he expected to get the gal he'd have
to hire 4 professional to attend to it.
Now, when l heard what he had tic
say, put on the strict pious. and, says
I, That $ a pretty bad thing you re askin
me to do, sir. to carry away little gal
from its lovin' mother. an more an
that, to take it from q school where it's
gettin' all the benefits Of eddication.
'Eddication,' says he; that's all stuff
What eddication the gal gets at school
like that isn't worth row of pins, and
when they go away they don't know
nothin' useful, nor even any thing tip
top ornamental. All they've learned is
the pianer and higher mathematics. As
for any thin useful, they're nowhere
There isn't ono of them could bound
New Jersey or tell you when Washing
ton crossed tho Delaware That may
be, sir, says !, but them higher branch
es comes useful. If Washington
really did cross the Delaware
your little gal could ask somebody
when it was, but she couldn't asl. 'en
how the pianer was played, nor wha
the whole multiplication table came t.
added up. Them things she'd have t.