The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1890-07-19
TEE BOARDING house.

hos hAoN INV ~ CauJc aDuut, III
it seemed the choice OF almos. ever
young married couple to take their abod
with Mrs. Eima, and begin life under h,
motherly guidance. For several succe.
sive ycars the usual programme had bee
the church, n bridal tour, then Mrs.
Bins, until It would have been consid
cred almost ms bad form to have omi.te.
one as the other OF these three prelimis
aries to matrimonial bliss.
Alters sojourn of Il few months, or
year, perhaps, at the excellent lady
domici!e. these couples gradually drifte,
of into the roomy, commonplace OK
istence that relentlessly overtakes an,
aubdues even the most sentimental Q
beings, while others, in tho full iuiatua
ton OF loves sweet dream, came an,
supplanted them. So goes the world!
Strange TO relate-and doubtless to til,
alleged lasting unbGlief Of all other land
ladies-Mrs. Bins made money. | d,
not mean that she became II capitalist
or even attained that enviable reputa
ton OF making a corner-even in hash
u privilege (the corner.making) e%njoye,
by all moneyed powers; but | mean tina
each year she was able to lay aside
modest sun towards the purchasing of
small home, which was to be the rewa,C
and Joy Of her old age.
] lm unable TO state whether Mrs.
Bins vas especially shrewd IN her nego,
tiations with tho vendors Of such com
modities as a boarding house demands
and its boarders generally abjure, OF
whether her newly mated boarders, alb
sorbed in each other, and fed rather by
the tender flame OF love than the prac.
'ical beguilements Of the table, made
the matter Of provisions Il minor one. |
can simply state that Mrs. Bins found
the boarding house Il profitable business
occupation.
a bit Of wisdom that Mrs. Bins prsc.
ilced with gratifying success was the
wearing Of a cheerful and smiling coun.
tenance. There were never any frowns
or gloomy looks dealt ont to be. board.
ers, and they, in turn, seldom had the
termerity to introduce them into Mrs.
Bins jolly presence; therefore, when
the biscuit occasionally exhibited violent
symptoms OF iaundice, Or the coffee gave
u~nmis.akable evidences OF prohibition
tendencies, Mrs. Bins would laughinyly
explain the verdancy OF a new help
strange misnomer it sometimes proves.
Thus the error would escape the Sc.
we're .censure it might otherwise have
drawn to itself and its accessory,
Mrs. BINS reasoned very logically that
people in q happy frame OF mind were
much easier TO get along with than those
Of a misanthropic turn.
Even with these, however, she was,
in & measure, quite successful; for had
this not been the case, Squire Jay would
have severely taxed her g%ood-nature
and her patience.
The squire was grabbed, crustv old
bachelor, who had boarded with Mira.
Bins for the last fifteen years, and dur
ing that time had threatened regularly,
on an average Of once a week, to leave.
Squire Jay and Mrs. Bins were living
exponents OF that ti,ne.honored adage:
Extremes will meet"
The more facetious Of the boarders,
among themselves, called them Sun.
shine and Shadow.
The squire was ut all times beeet by
melancholy forebodipgs and given TO
dismal predictions. TO be guilty OF a
paradox, his only pleasure was in being
miserable.
Not only did foreign depressing infu-
ences of presaged food, famine aud peg
thence weigh him down, but also the
daily one to which he was subjected.
None was, perhaps, so great u burden
as the constant exhibitions of matrimo.
nial felicity to which he was ruthlcssly
subjected.
II he took a thoughtful turn in the
yard he was likely to stumble on some
silly couple, arm in arm, billing and COO
ing and staring the moor out OF counte-
nance; ii he sought the %seclusion OF his
own room most probably m idiotic pair
across the ball or In the parlor below
would annihilate the silence and sereni-
ty below with q loye.sick ballad or duet.
II he found himself at table his appetite
YVES Tablet never quite reached that
point-to be impaired by hearing low
muttered pet names exchanged by de-
voted couples.
The surroundings were generally
made obnoxious by these constant sus.
gestions OF m~atrimony-a state which
the squire had long regarded in the
same light he did lunacy, only in the
latter the vicious are not always respon-
sib!e for their acts, and consequently
are less to be censured. Id
In revenge for all these sentimental
annoyances which were thrust, so to
speak, upon his retired and solitary
state Of preferred SINGLE lessedness,
Squire Jay had but one rccourse-he
snored.
II his waking moments we're disturbed
80 were their sleeping moments. II
their twaddle was particularly offensive
on any special day, he snored louder on
that especial night.
1t was 4 matter of historical accuracy,
In the annals Of Mrs. Bins boarding
house, that on one occasion a nervous
lodger, in the room above the squire's,
had descended to the floor below, pistol
in hand, firmly believing that burglars
were saving m entrance into the house,
and that an investigation proved it to
be only the squire lndul. ing in a sound
slumber.
Why the squire persisted in thus re-
naming in such an. uncongenial atmos-
nhprc WA n orpstion that narh