The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1890-01-01
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Does the crow ever NOPE over any lost
cawsY
Whaling grounds-Country school
house.
A Maine barber has fallen chair" to
handsome fortune.
A skilful cook is the most popular Of
interior decorators.
Talking about wheelmen, when they
toll not neither do they spin.
Many an honest debtor wishes he had
a round sum to square up with.
The ocean greyhounds have no time
to consider barks at sea.-Picayune.
The most self-conceited are those who
continually depreciate natural vanity.
1t was butcher who remarked that
four quarters were less than the whole
LJe.
The pen is mightier than the sword
but the pencil isn't much good without
the knife.
Excuse me, said tramp, as he was
led to the wood shed, "but l am not
experienced in running chop house. ,
Dentist (to patient)-"Will you take
gas to have the tooth out9" Patient
,''How much is it a thousandg"-Jvdge.
Quack-"If you use my medicine you
will use no other. Patient-''That's
what I'm afraid of, doctor. ~ Yankee
Blade.
The pug dog fills many man with
the disappointing thought that he might
be handsome if he were only ugly
enough.
Woman is lovely creature, and she
knows it, too, but she is always willing
to be told it once understandable
Journal.
Mr.. Gustus Phew-'Will you remem-
Der me when l am far away9" Miss
Sally Day-''How far away are you
g?"-Puek.
Thompson (proudly)-'Robinson you
see that gun9 My wife killed bear will
that once" Robinson-"Ah, indeed !
What was she shooting at."-Aunsey's
Weekly.
Mildred (who hears that her aunt is
going to take fencing lesson)-"0h,
auntie, do take me with you. I'd love
to see you jump over the fences W-Har-
per's Basar.
Tommy Mamma, give me some
pears" Mother-''Why, Tommy, you
have eaten five orsix already" "Wen,
them amt the ones want. It's them in
the basket I'm after. - Teras Sytings.
Jonnny-"Wha did the minister mean
when he said something about place
where thieves do not break through and
stealp Mr.. Dumpsey-''He referred to
your mothers dress pocket. "-La~reace
american.
"My good man, " said the lady to the
gardener, (which is your choice for the
national flowerl" II haven't given it
much thought, mum" he replied "but
I'd vote for the chrysanthy, mum. -
Norria0UR Herald.
Snowberry-''Sp Speaking of the olc-
fashioned custom 0Awriting 'fnis' at the
end Of book Vs me think of my
wife" DQ%-"How so2" Snow
berry-"qshe always gets in the last
word. maraey Enterprise.
"Here'sa dog must getW exclaimed
the owner of dime museum, as he read
in the paper about an animal in Wiscon-
sin who swallows coins whenever he has
an opportunity. "What do you want
him forl" asked a friend. because
there's money in it. ."-Manseys Weekly.
Applicant-''If you have position in
your bank vacant, sir, l would like to
apply for it, Bank President-"There
is no vacancy, now, believe, except
that of runner" Applioant-'I am
qualified TO fill that, sir did the best
long distance work in Yell College, sir,
last year, - YeHOpiRe's Nelos.
''I don't think Jones has been indulg-
ing too much, said his kindly believing
spouse; "but, still, thought it rather
odd of him that he should wrench the
knocker off the front door and bring il
up to me as | sat in bed saying that he'd
gathered another rose for me out of the
garden, poor, dear, simple boy; he's just
as loving and sentimental as ever he
was. London Punch.