The Forrest City times., 1890-10-18

How sad 1t makes man feel 10 ob- serve n five dolla~ straw hat on seven cent head. d.-Kcarney Enterprise.
 Merritt Did that critic read your poem aad give his opiniong" Tubbs- ''iIe gave me his opinion. n-Life.
 The dearest spot on earth is the sum- mcr resort lu comparison there is no place like home. -Stomr Cay Journal.
 A sulkv girl may sometimes be cured hy taking her out in buggy with a seat just large eaough for two. --Denrer Rodd.
 There arc some things woman cru do as well as man, but scratching n match isn't one of them. LoRasrille joaradi.
 The thoughtful cook puts granu'atcd sugar on the berries when she hasn't time 10 wash the sand of them.-- astlaad Press.
 A sermon Is too often transformed into highway over which parson parades his literary attainments. - .ssehisoa G,o5c.
 The preacher who bears down heaviest on our neighbors' failings is .hc one who will get the largest salary. M,waakec Jo'ir,idl
 Customer ''The suit is all dusty Shomherg An. mein vrent, dot gomes from der sch,lk we're ye marks dem down so oidep. "-- Puck.
 Billings-"Well. my boy. arc vou sa,isiicd with married life?n Benedict .- Satisfied? Why. am perfectly satiated with it."-7erre Haase E.s- vroSs
 Sweetam- She smiled on my suit. Robins. old boy" Robbins Well, l lhink she might. Tine wonder is she didn't go into mysteries. - Lostoa Herald.
 Parrot Polly wants drink" 'olly's Owner" Polly can't have irink without cracker" Parrot Darn Boston, anyway" - Eoston lonrier.
 You can't praise man for having lone great thing without hearing from the little man at his side who advised him to do it." - .dfehtsoa Globe.
 Spontaneous combustion is some lines caused by an accumulation of piled rags and sometimes by collec- ton of insurance policies. - Elmira Gugette.'
 Did your wife listen to your excuses for staying out so late last night?" 70. yes. she listened to me. and then" Then what?" Il listened to her."-- IAe Jester.
 This isn't fifteen pounds of ice. It's only ten" Can't help it, madam. It was fifteen pounds when it left the storchouse, and nobody's been near it since. "--N. r. Snn.
 Citizen. What do you think of the proposition to enlist Indians in the regular army?' Captain Westpoint-- "ludiansp 'Pon honahl Why. they rawn't dawnce. ."--N. !. Weekly.
 The peacock is blessed with beautiful plumage. and would be thought alto- gether lovely if he could keep his mouth shut and let the more musical birds do tho talking.--NeW Orleans Picayuae.
 Can you give mo credit for this poem9' inquired the writer who had invaded the sanctum. '.Huml don't know about that but if it's printed you'll have to take the blame for it"-- Washingtoa Post.
 One Harvard young man makes a concise explanation of the academic successes of young women: 'Of course girls can get on. They have nothing eise to do but study. We hAve."-- Boston 7ruascrspt
 Ladies and gentlemen who monopo- Ike three or four scats in n railroad car with themselves and their parcels are respectfully warned that the hog cholera is raging in West Botsford. = Boston lra,ssc,Tpt.
 It ia not possible to say many mora original things about original sin. and the fashionable preacher would do well to pound some of tho fashionable sins of fashionable sinners of the present time. e.--Aesn Orleans Picaynse.
 Mir. Citiman--'.My dear. lots take . cottage In tho country" Mrs. Citiman -"Why didn't you propose that earlicrp It is too late now to make garden" Mir. Gilman Yes; that's why Islidu't propose 1t earlier. ."-N. '. Weekly.
 Do Smith Cat church fair. where raining Is in progress This reminds me of little incident that happened to me out West Esmeralda Long. cotiia--"What was itpn De Smith, si was iu train when it vas robbed" -SQsissss.