The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1890-05-08
AROUND THE WORLD.
Diary of Traveller Who Made the TFi
in Sixty Minutes.


in Sixty Minutes.
Chicago, Jan. H. 2O90, II a. Nam
Just starting for trip around the world.
My baggage consists of An opera-glass, a
couple of oranges and a ten-cent cigar.
New York, 11:02-Reached this city
by pneumatic tube. Only special feat
ure of the whirl across the country was
a momentary smell of coal oil while
passing through the State of Pennsyl-
vania.
London, 11:10-Lost nineteen seconds
! in New York on account of having to
| stop and subscribe to the Grant monu-
ment fund, the memorial arch fund and
! the Greeley monument fund. The fell
lows said it was the custom for every
body-outside of New York-to drop a
few nickels in the slot for those funds
and get card of thanks. They were
confident the monuments and the arch
would be built within the next two hum
dred and forty years at farthest l came
to this city by the well-known Sky
rocket route. Got here four seconds be-
hind time, having had to dodge two cy-
clones and pair of trousers belonging
to an English tourist. The trousers had
dropped from rocket-train just ahead
of US and were gyrating wildly through
the air on their way down from the
clouds.
Paris, 11:19-Am four minutes and a
half behind time. The ''lazy tongs"
tramway that runs to this city by tunnel
under the English Channel and over
land the rest of the way was not sufi-
GENTLY creased and it took us nearly
five minutes to make the last fifty miles.
This lack of grease shows that the
French couldn't run political campaign
in Ohio to save their lives.
Rome, 11:27-Nearly ten minutes be-
hind time. The passenger bomb in which
l Travelled to this point scraped against
the sides of the sheet-iron vacuum rain
bow it was fired through, and we had to
put on brakes to prevent hot boxes. 1
have Just hired an Italian brigand to
go out behind the Coliseum and swear as
long and as hard as he feels justified in
doing for S2.65.
Calcutta, 11:30-My time is half gone
and am notyet half way round. Come
from Rome by the Electric Inclined
Plane route. The cars are huge ignum-
vitae balls that roll down the hollow
tube through which blast of air is
forced by powerful dynamos. The sen.
sation of travelling in this way is novel,
; but not particularly enjoyable.
! Hong Kong, 11:40-Ten minutes be
hind schedule time. Came from Cal.
cutta to this place by the famous Cata.
| pult line. There was delay of severa
minutes in cutting the cable that helC
the spring down at the western end o
) the line. A sacred white elephant wa
standing on the trap and nobody liked
to take the liberty of asking him t,
move off.
Sitka, Alaska, 11:50-The Chinese a
J Hong Kong have their old-time hatred
> of foreign devils. They fired me out o
there by the Projectile route to Kan
chatka where took the Electric Tobog
gan slide. Came from Petropaulovsk
. to this place in a large hollow icicle, tn
= slide being laid across Behring Strait
. which is fortunately frozen over. Tn
J icicle was very much worn and haggar
= by the time it got here. Only ten min
utes now to get to Chicago.
. Sitka, 1t:50-Haven't got away fror
. here yet. Went out and caught sea
4 and bad cold while waiting. Hav
just made a bet Of 800 I'll go throug
on time.
. Chicago, 12 m.-Was delayed at SitlS
. till 1859 in consequence of sligF
z change in the time table. Stepped int
I the air-tight tube of the Great Overlan
Il Rubber-Band Airline route at that e1
d act moment, the catch was loosed, an
~ the gigantic elastic rope, made of tn
e best Para rubber and stretched to it's u
"a most tension, whisked me across tn
9 country, more than $500 miles in d
d. rect line, in the twinkling of an ey
y Reached here with more than half
E minute to spare.
1t isn't difficult job to go around ii
a globe in sixty minutes. All you nee
r beside your ticket is fan, an overcoa
c. a bottle of lung balsam and a sma
y bottle of the other kind of balsam
III counteract the effect of sudden chang
Il of climate.
le Any body can go round the world
% sixty minutes.
n In the old fogy days of 1890, two hu
10 dred years ago, 1t was thought wo
- derful thing to make the trip in sevent
two days, six hours and eleven minute
= This only shows that the people of tn
of bygone age were not really sensible
le their misery. They thought they we
I'd pretty smart. Let us regard them, n
"A countrymen, with feelings of since
- compassion rather than contempt
az Ny little jaunt has made me hungr
se l must go to luneh.-Y. Knott, in Cl
Il, cago Tribune.
,,s Bridge Across the Bosporus.
NJ The proposal to cross the Bospor
somewhere near Constantinople al