davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1887-1891, 1890-07-05
HUMOROUS.

Mrs. Fangle-Lizzie, what time was
II when that young man lett last night2
LizLie-About IL, mamma.
Mrs. Fangle-Now, LIZZIE. II was two
hours later than that. for l distinctly
door, "Just one, Lizzie" You can't
fool your mother.
Papa-If have to speak to you again
I'll whip you.
The terror-Say, papa, what did you
have q little boy for il you can't get
along any better with him than you do2
Miss Gabble-I have had that parrot
for three m0nths now, and 1t has never
spoken word.
CalIer-P Perhaps syou have never
given 1t chance.
Mamma-Bobby, 1 noticed that your
little sister took the smaller apple. Did
you let her have her choice as told
you tor
Bobby-Yes, l told her she could
have the little one or none, and the
chose the little one.
Mrs. Marchmant-Why, Jane, where
are all the young ladies? I thought
I heard them come In an hour ago.
Jane-So you did, mem; they'd been
to the cooking school, mem, and the
three of then's been down in the kitch-
en- ever since bilin' egg, mem.
Father--John, saw Will Gorden in
saloon drinking q glass of beer yes.
terdsy, and don't want you to ssso-
ciate with him.
John--I want fifty cents, pa, to 60 to
the circus, and if you give It to me !
won't say anything to ma about your
seein' Will Gorden in saloon.
John went to the circus. D'e
The intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1887-1891, 1890-07-05
TRANSFERS OF REAL ESTATE

Furnished weekly TO the InteIligencer by
Captain j. d. Conner. recorder of deeds OF
Lafayette county, Mo.
Abstract of the deeds filed in the Office nj
Recorder Of Deeds from Saturday, June 81
1870, to Saturday, June 2S. 1890. Only
such as contain covenants OF warranty con.
tanned In list.
ID. Il. Duck ct al to Turner WILL
Hanson. pit lot 100, Wellington .S OO
q. A. FrerkinR 10 Theodore jung
kleins, lots l., 2 and 3, blk G, ConcOr-
dis. ...::....,..,........ 1000 90
X. Pucket and wife TO x. &. Dry
den. lot IN Mayview. 30 80 feet. % 90
X. G.. Dryden to r. ID. Hammond,
lot in MayYiew, 30$S0 feet. 100 90
u. ID. Hammond to +. W. Stoep-
ner, lot in Mnyview, 30XS0 feet. % OO
J: G. Ish and wife TO H.F. and w.
H. Holke. 239 acres.e hf NV and hf
sw 70. ard hf NV 30, 80, % . 5000 OO
q. w. Smith to W. A. Campbell,
Asbury,s add to IIlgginsvile, lots .
and 8, blk II. 4.:...................... $50 90
NJ. II. and Seth SPrnt to Il. East
h I'M. hf lot |. blk 3. College Place. 600 90
w, 5. u. BufOTd ct al to Helen l..
Davis, 40 int in lots I. 8. ., 10. IL
and IL. blk Is, st. Thomas add to
WaVerly ..................... TAO 90
az1- No instrument will be filed until the
fee Is paid. LIN
The intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1887-1891, 1890-07-05
CLEANS OF WIT.
From Puck.


When both sides are arbitrary, arbi-
tration comes near In name but lar
away ~ fact.
An Innocent remsrk--Not guilty.
IL il curious fact that legal lights
should generally be productive Of flnan-
oial gloom.
"I'm with you In spirit" IS the log
wood remarked TO the alcohol.
The difference between stiff collar
and stifi caller Is, that one is worn
and the other is wearing.
Sounding brass-interyiewing poll
tician.
Elisha Group, whose head is a. bald
as an apple, says he can't see anything
shocking about ballet except bad
dancing.
One halt OF the world does know how
the other half lives. and envies II ac-
cordingly.
The intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1887-1891, 1890-07-05
After the Fourth of July.

From the New York Sun.I
We put him to bed In his little nlRhtgowI,
The worst battered youngster there was in
the town;
Yet he said as he opened hls only well eve:
"Rah. rah, for the Jolly old Fourth OF july"
Two thumbs and eight fingers with lint were
tied up,
On bis head was lump like AN upside. down
And his smile was distorted. his nose all
awry,
From the Joys OF the glorious Fourth Of July.
We we're glad; he had started abroad with the
sun,
And all day he had lived In the powder aud
fun;
While the boom OF the cannon roared up to
the sky,
To salLte young Americas Fourth Of July.
said we were glad all the pieces were there,
As We plastered and bound them with ten
derest care.
But out OF the wreck came the words, with a
sigh!
"If tomorrow WAS only the Fourth Of July ~
He will grow altogether again, never fear,
And be ready to celebrate freedom next year (;
Meanwhile all his friends are most thankful
there lies
A erackerless twelvemonth rwirt Fourth OF
Julys.
We kissed him good night on his powder.
We laid his bruised hands softly down IN their
place,
Aud he murmured. as sleep closed his one
open eye:
81 wish every day WAS the Fourth OF July ~
The intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1887-1891, 1890-07-05
PILING UP TAXES.
From the PhilsdelphIs Times.i

From the PhiladelphiR Times
( Six years after the war, when Gen.
Garfield as chairman of appropriations.
reported the pension appropriation of
$50, ,000. .000, he excused the amount and
justified the passage of the measure,
because, as he stated, that was the
largest sum that could ever be called
for to Fay pensioners, ,as from that time
the list would decline. Now, twenty
years later, our pension expenditures
are mp to $l75 900 600 with reasonable
prospects of reaching the enormous
sum of $200, ,000, 900. When Lincoln
became president the entire revenues
OF the government, including proceeds
of public lands, were less than $50, ,000,-
000. Now twenty-five years after peace,
and our national debt no longer op.
pressive, the expenses OF the govern
meuu are over 81, 900 900 each day ;they
will reach to $400, ,000, 900 or $3.50, ,0O0.-
900 next year; and large treasury
deficit Is as certain al the close OF the
fiscal year as is the rising OF the sun.
The intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1887-1891, 1890-07-05
A FATAL BARRIER.
From the Washington Post.I

From the Washington Post.l
"Mabel, love you."
Mabel listened as II the remark were
brand new. o.,
"Do you not feel, Mabel, that in your
life you need some one-sOme one like
me?" .saa
Mabel answered softly-very softly;
probably she will never realize how
soft her answer was.
"Harold, dear, I have often felt that
need the love OF manly heart like
yours; | need to be cherished, need
protection" .. "a
"Alss," he moaned, "then we can
never be happy"
"Whyr
Because"
"Speak on.n ....
"Because l am free-trader.'
The intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1887-1891, 1890-07-05
1t Doesn't Cost Much.
BY II. G. DODGE.

u doesn't cost money, as many suppose,
To have u good time on this earth;
The best OF Its pleasures are free unto those
Who know how to value their worth.
The sweetest OF music the birds 10 us sing,
The loyllest flowers grow wild.
The finest OF drinks gush out OF the
springs
All free TO man, woman and child.
No money can purchase, no artist can paint
such pictures as nature supplies
Forever. all over. to sinner aud saint
Who use to advantage their eyes.
Kind words and glad looks, and smiles CHEEKY
and brave
Cost nOthing-nO, nothing ut all,
Aud yet all the wealth Monte Cristo could
save
Can make no such pleasures betalI.
To bask in the sunshine. to breathe the pure
air,
Honest toll, the enjoyment OF health.
Sweet siumber retreshIng-these pleasures
we share.
Without any portion OF wealth.
Communion with friends that are tried, true
and strong,
To love and be loved for loves sake
10 fact, all that makes u lie happy and long
Are tree 10 whoever will take.
1t doesn't cost money to have good time,
And that Is the reason, alasl
why many who might have enjoyment sub.
lime
Their lives In such misery pass.
II doesn't cost money to have good time:
The worlds best enjOyments are free;
but those who find pleasure IN folly and
VIII not viii Ia these irua worI. uurao
The intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1887-1891, 1890-07-05

An absent-minded German professor
was one day observed walking down
the street with one loot continually i'm
the gutter, the other on the pavement.
A pupil, meeting him, sslu,ed him
with: Good evening, Herr Professor.
How are you" al was very well, l
thought" answered the professor, "but
nov | don't know what's the matter
with me. For the last halt hour I've
beeu limping ."-Exchange,
The intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1887-1891, 1890-07-05
Wabash Railroad Time Table.

omnibus Will leave the hotels In this
city for Il. l.. Junction, making
connection with trains going east
Westand north. At ,...7 7 OOs m
returning, wilIurrIve at t... Io,90a m
omnibus willleave for Il. 4 -. JUNG "
ZION. making onneotiOn with trans
gong east and west, and north as
far ~ Richmond at 3.oOn I'M
Returning, will arrive al ~ 7 00 n M
JOHN &. YOUNG, Superintendent
The intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1887-1891, 1890-07-05
THE DIFFERENCE.
From the Post Dispatch. I

Ex.State Treasurer Hemingway. of
Mississippi. who was short in his ac-
counts $3l5,612 10, is covered with
disgrace and has received a sentence of
five years in the penitentiary. Boss
Quay, of Pennsylvania, who is charged
with stealing nearly an equal amount,
is covered with political honors, 10
enjoying term In the United States
senate and has received q vote of con.
fidence from the Pennsylvania republi.
cans. There are rascsls in the demo.
cratic party, but they are not honored
for their rascsllty.
The intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1887-1891, 1890-07-05
Santa Fe Route.

TRAINS ARRIVE
S:i6 u. IN. from Richmond and east
u :to .. IN. from Kansas City and 81 Joseph
o"n p. IN. from Lexington Junction and east
TRAINS LEAVE.
10 % a IN. to Lexington junction and east.
S:In m TO 81. Joseph and Kansas City.
i:ub IN. to Richmond and east
Iicketh sold at city Office To all points, Buy
your tickets and get reduced rates.
JOHN KAUFMAN. Agent
The intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1887-1891, 1890-07-05
Why he Broke the Engag ment.
From Judge.l

From Judge.l
She wore sailor hat
should not have minded that,
Nor her patent leather shoes and gaIierette /;
But l saw her on Broadway
Only just the other day.
And / thought Il was her brother that met.
For she bad flannel shirt
And. what most my feelings hurt.
A picadillv collar and tie,
A doubled breasted sacque
With two buttons on the back,
And blooming English eyeglsss on her eve
The intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1887-1891, 1890-07-05
INDUSTRIOUS.

Mrs. Mary Wing, OF Fayette, Mo. is
80 years of age, and during the last
year has done the cooking, washing,
ironing. sewing, knitting, etc., for a
family of tour,
The intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1887-1891, 1890-07-05
REVISED VERSION

Widower (whO has married into the
family twice already - Clara. dear,
will you be my wife?
Clara (wearily)-l suppose 30, Will.
! am tired OF being sister 10 YOU
Chicago Tribune.
The intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1887-1891, 1890-07-05

E-To follow the time OF trains going west
read from top OF column downward: OF those
going east read from the bottom of column up
ward. A. s. LOOMS,
Agent ut Lexington.
j. WOOD,
Agent at MyrIck.
The intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1887-1891, 1890-07-05

What are your Jewels and what are your
iaces worth to you II, from undergoing the
trying ordeais which fashionable society i'm
poses on its devotees, enough to test the phys-
ical strength and endurance of the most ro-
bust you break down, lose your health and
become physical wreck, as thousands do
from such causes2
Under such circumstances you would will
ingly give all your jewels and all your laces to
regain lost health, This you can do II you will
but resort to the use OF that great restorative
known as DIR. Pierce'a FaVorite Prescription.
Thousands OF grateful women bless the day
Y was made known to them.
FOR all derangements, irregularities and
weaknesses peculiar to women, II is the 0nln
remedy, sold by druggists, under q positive
guarantee from the manufacturers, that IL
VIII give satisfaction In every case, or money
will be refunded. This guarantee has been
printed on the bottle-wrspper, and faithfully
carried out for many years.
. An invigorating tonic IL imparts strength to
the whole system. For feeble women gener-
ally, DIR. Pierce's Favorite Prescription is the
greatest earthly boon.
The intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1887-1891, 1890-07-05
JOHN y. BLACKWELL.

4 TrpRNEY Al LAW. WIN practice In ul
n u cuurts of The state. Prompt attention
wen to a'l busIness entrusted TO my care.
!Ilce In Mrsonic building over Trigg \ shield's
tUrp. ianlOyl
The intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1887-1891, 1890-07-05

A TTORNEY AT FLAW. win practice IN all
n the state and federal courts. Prompt atten-
writing legal indentures, &c, Oaice In lnielil-
gencer buIiding-Iront room. may26
The intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1887-1891, 1890-07-05
THE VALUATION OF RAILROADS IN
MISSOURI,

The state board OF equalization has
completed the assessment OF railroad
property Of the state and the valuation,
which includes the superstructure aud
roadbed, appears below in q compare
1--WE statement, prepared by State
Auditor Selbert, who is secretary OF the
board, showing the valuation OF 1889
ana the present one. The assessment
OF all classes of railroad property shows
IN the aggregate about 500, 600, ,000-an
increase Of over 81 SOC, 900 over that of
last year. There is practically but little
change in the assessment OF rolling
stock, buildings, bridges and telegraph
property. The Louisiana bridge OH the
Chicago Il Alton is not assessed sepa-
rately this year, as n decision of the
state supreme court. in the case of the
state OF Missouri vs. the Hannibal and
st. Joseph railroad company settled il
tnat the valuation of such property
must be distributed over the road
which owns it. The comparative stste.
meht is as follows:
The intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1887-1891, 1890-07-05
XENOPHtbN RYLAND.
II. j DULING,

/ TTORNEY-AT-LAW. VIII give prompt At
lention To all business entrusted to his care
Nll practice in all the courts, except the Pro
ate Court VI Lafayette county dec2yl
The intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1887-1891, 1890-07-05
efierson City. Boonville g. Lexing-
ton Division Time Table.
Westward

Time Table of the Lexington branch
of the Mo. P. R.. r.
The intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1887-1891, 1890-07-05

A TTORNEl s, AT-LAW, Lexington, Mo. j.
n ID 5hewAlter having opened an office In
Kansas City (American Bank Building. Eighth
and Delaware), will be In Lexington on Saiur-
day OF each week, dccx9tf
The intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1887-1891, 1890-07-05
II. j. DOOl.EY.

A TTORNEY- -ATLAW, HiggInsvIlIe. Mo
"A win practices IN all the state and federal
courts. Prompt attention given 70 collections.
examinations of land titles, writing legal linden
lures, etc Loans money a. low rate OF inter.
eat, writes insurance policies In standard COM
panies. and. in iact. attends to all Kinds of
busintss In general. Office over Globe Cloth
ing HOUSE, HiggInsville, Mo. upr20yl
The intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1887-1891, 1890-07-05
NHF c. WALLACKs W.T. n q
WALLACE l. CEllLES.

A TToRNEYS AND COiINsELLoRs 40
n Law, Lexington, Mo. Office, front room
over the "Lexington Savings Bank," {" oppoaite
the court house. viii practict in the courts of
Lafayette and surrounding counties, and also in
the Supreme court of the state OF Missouri, anC
the u. 8. circuit and District courts for In,
Western ID strict of Missouri.
The intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1887-1891, 1890-07-05

Persons failing to get their paper regularly
from the carrier will greatly Obllge US by
eaving word at this office, where q paper
will be given you and reprimsnd TO the
carrier. II We hear no complaint, OF course
We must conclude that the paper Is left with
cue reg ulsrity. u
The intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1887-1891, 1890-07-05
FOR RENT.

c,ToRE room and dwelling rooms, M@3
~ ns1ig nsInted and nicely paDered, H;;H
Dutch Row. cEyER Iuu
The intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1887-1891, 1890-07-05
Dr. Pierce's Pellets regu
=s=z=sasa=-=-z-==a--az==
AcTORN r. vs..

. and cleanse
the liver, stomach and bowels. One a dose,
Bold by druggists, 25 cents vial.
The intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1887-1891, 1890-07-05

capable of writing such a letter we
would be In favor OF raising purse
TO send him TO school; yet Seay
Is honored by an administration
who regards fitness rs the discrimi-
nating Test tor public officials.
Seay's reversals by the supreme court
OF Missouri amounted to about 40 per
cent. This record has probably never
been broken. but Seay's successor is
pulling under the wire in pretty brisk
gallop."
The sun. [volume] (Morris, Stevens County, Minn.) 1882-1895, 1890-07-10

to ray their expenses; they were lot
of clean limbed, active young fellows
able and willing to do good work. Id
another game we wouldn't want to
bet too much on Morris.
The Band dance was so largely
attended that they were obliged to
divide their forces, giving an over
tOw dance in Goods hall. They
certainly filed the bill In good old
style, they danced all night to broad
day light, going home with the girls
in the morning.
The town was all ablaZe with fire
works; it was almost impossible to
get through the crowd on Atlantic
avenue at any hour of the evening.
Thus ended the greatest day Morris
ever seen; we heartily thank our
friends from surrounding towns who
contributed so largely to our enjoy
ment, especially Graceville who
poured out her population by the
wholesale, and most especially to the
Phenix for its very hearty endorse
meut of our efforts for success.
The sun. [volume] (Morris, Stevens County, Minn.) 1882-1895, 1890-07-10
Treat Home Seekers We'll.

A matter almost incredible came
to our knowledge a day or two ago,
three Stealns county German farmers
came to Stevens county to seek
homes; on Monday last they got lost
on the prairie in the night, and on
coming to tire house of a farmer were
treated very uncivilly, he would Mt
allow them to camp near his place,
nor water their horses at his lake.
When they reached Morris next day
they said il that was the kind OF
people we were, they would 60
straight home again. It seems In.
COMPREHENSIVE that we have any
man in the county who would act so,
any one who knows any thing about
Stearns county German farmers
knows that they are among the most
Industrious and successful farmers in
the state, and a few hundred of them
would give an impetus to farming in
this county that we need badly.
The sun. [volume] (Morris, Stevens County, Minn.) 1882-1895, 1890-07-10

Mr.. Griswold is in Willmar.

Mr.. Griswold is in Willmar.
Samuel Larson is in the twin cities.
J. d. Good left for st. Paul yester.
day.
Miss Fras. Flynn is home on a
visit from n. Oak,
Miss Lydia Cousins of the Hancock
farm was up for the 18th.
Mrs. Ayers of Glenwood. is on q
visit with the Baldwin family.
George femme of St.Paul,a former
Morris boy was here for the 4th.
Mrs. Lulu Nelson of Osakis is
visiting with the Baldwin family.
Mrs. Howe is in st. Paul, like all
true patriots she didn't 60 till after
the 4th.
Alex Leatham of the Tar.Oid Co.,
was doing business with THE SUN on
Monday last.
The Morris Missionary Union will
meet at Mrs. Henry VOLTS Friday
afternoon at o'clock.
w. J. Munro and family have gone
to GlenwOod, to spend the hot
weather on the lake shore.
w. G. Ehler the Machinist was
called to Graceville on Wednesday,
to do some Engine repairing.
Miss Eva Haight has gone to N.
OAK. to spend vacation, she will
return to school teaching in the fall.
Miss Lucy Davidson is spettding
the week with the National Education
Association at their annual coli
vention in st. Paul.
Mrs. Frank Gilbert and daughters
are visiting Mrs. G's. daughter, Mrs.
Joe Ernst OF Donnelly; and will re-
main till the husband and father join
them in about two weeks,
The sun. [volume] (Morris, Stevens County, Minn.) 1882-1895, 1890-07-10
Morris Alliance Meeting.

The Alliance of the township of
Morris will meet at Halls school
house on Saturday July 18th, at 2 p!
m. All members who desire to order
Irvine must be present, as this is the
last opportunity to decide on the
samples and prices furnished.
Delegates to county and State Con.
vention will be elected.
z. LEAvrTT, Sec'y.
The sun. [volume] (Morris, Stevens County, Minn.) 1882-1895, 1890-07-10
Incidents of the Fourth.

t'StA0uAS Va AhS TOuIkH'
NJ. J. Foley had to close the
register of the Metropolitan on the
4th or it would all have been covered
from Genesis to Revelations: he gave
meals to 400 guests.
Mrs. Douglas of the Pacific Avenue
House had to set seven tables for the
crush, and then could Mt accommodate
half of the applicants for dinner.
The ladies of the Methodist church
ars happy over the result OF dinner
giving in the Wunsch building, chefr
net receipts were $75, this meant
about 800 meals.
We heard of one saloon whose re-
ceipts were over $500.
Mr.. Schlattman the photographer
done business of $50.
The Central house entertained over
100 gusts on the 4th.
The creased pole was there, and
the purse too; but no youth had
courage enough to mount to the top
At the close of the entertainment
the church ladies gave a handsome
bouquet to the homeliest editor il
town. of course the Tribune man GO
it without an effort, we didn't thinl
it worth while to enter the contest
If it had been for the handsomes
editor it would have kept our singins
bird company for the next week. w,
did however get handsome rosett,
placed in our button hole by tn,
hands of a fair lady, which w
proudly sported all day; Mrs. Pimn
has an artistic taste for the beautiful
The sun. [volume] (Morris, Stevens County, Minn.) 1882-1895, 1890-07-10

he ladies Of the Methodist church
ire through THE Sun, to return
tr sincere thanks to Mr.. Wunsch
the use of his building for their
ertainment, during the 4th, which
nlted so satisfactorily to them.
The sun. [volume] (Morris, Stevens County, Minn.) 1882-1895, 1890-07-10

Our expert machlnest VIC. Ehlers,
s. now permanently located in his
shop on 7th street, where he is ready
to do all complicated jobs at the
shortest notice, if you have something
to do beyond the skill of ordinary
wnrkmen lust try him.
The sun. [volume] (Morris, Stevens County, Minn.) 1882-1895, 1890-07-10

The immense success of the
Driving Park Association on the 4th,
settles the question for all future
time, az to fairs and trottlng
matches; the association will offer
next fall more than three times the
amount of premiums they gave on the
9Th and intend making great many
improvements yet, such as closing
in the track on both sides, to prevent
tho possibility of accidents to spec.
tators; sinking another well, within
the circle. so az to avoid the
necessity of crossing the track for
water, and every thing necessary will
be done for the comfort and CONVEX
fance of the patrons of the association.
The members don't design it as a
money making concern, but to i'm.
prove the stock of the county, and to
make Morris the most attraction spot
between the twin cities and Fargo.
and they will succeed.
The sun. [volume] (Morris, Stevens County, Minn.) 1882-1895, 1890-07-10

IN the completion of the brick
ok which is being erected on the
ms of the late fire, the Red trout
Il be the center of attraction, as it
/ occupy the center store of the
The sun. [volume] (Morris, Stevens County, Minn.) 1882-1895, 1890-07-10

Born, to Mr.. and Mrs. Charles
Youngquist, on Sunday morning last,
a bouncing Girl, 9lbs weight. We
congratulate the happy parents, but
it's reflection ON Charles patriO-
tIsm, not to make better calculations,
and have the INCREASED population in
time for the census, which he should
have done,
The sun. [volume] (Morris, Stevens County, Minn.) 1882-1895, 1890-07-10
Notice.

/ have recently purchased and
placed in the office of p "A. Mccarthy
u Co., at Morris, Mimi, a New Rem
ington Type Writer and / am now
prepared to do first class work at
reasonable rates and on short notice.
Give me a call.
1878 GEORGE b. SPooNER.