Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1890-05-02
Mr.. and Mrs. Bowser.


the sitting room and seeing me on
the lounge with my head tied up will
gaze al me for minute without
speaking. Then he will finally re-
mark:
Didn't tell you soy
WHAT
You got your feet wet.
"Oh, no, Mr.. Bowser."
Then you went out bareheaded, or
you have been eating ice-cream or
some other balderdash."
ION the contrary, | have been
very, very careful.
"Oh, yes, you women are always
very. very careful If a giant was to
expose himself the way you do he'd
be dead in six months. Had the doe
tor :"
No"
''That'sit. Want to let the typhoid
fever get hold of you, don't YOU?
What's DR.. --'s telephone mum
berT'
Don't call a doctor. My head Is
much better than it was, and | shall
be all right tomorrow.
well. il you are not Ill call two OF
them and have you taken TO the hos
pital. ! have no pity on any one VINO
will 90 sloshing around the way You
do | WAS intending 10 go TO the the
ater tonight, and here | come home
and find you fattened out, perhaps
to develope II case of yellow fever or
smallpox.
Mr.. Bowser goes tramping around
TO find fault with his supper, with the
cook, with the baby, with the tur-
mace and with everything else when
he happens to think of, and the even
ing il rendered very cheerful and
happy.
If happened to be looking down
the street when Mr.. Bowser gets oil
the car can tell whether he has "a
headache or not. He comes slump
ing along, arms hanging down, eyes
on the sidewalk, and as 1 open the
door for him he growls out:
"Iemme git on to that lounge as
soon as possible
'I'm next door to death !!
Have you been hurt, Mr. Bow
ser?'
NO. Got n headache. Whole top
of my head is loose think am dy-
ing :"
held him off with his coat, get
him on the lounge, pull of his gaiters
tuck him up. and then | can't help
saying
Didn't ! tell you So 2
"W-whatY
you've been careless again. You
sat i'm your Office with your feet out
of the window, or you held chunk
OF ice on your LAP, or you stood IN a
puddle of water in your bare feet.
It's wonder to me that any man
lives TO the age of 30.
900 oh - he groans.
That's it! Got the black plague
or the Asiatic cholera hold OF you,
probably! | was going over to Mrs.
Cato's tonight TO II aprogresslveleuchre'
but this spoils it all. I'll have three
doctors up after tea, and have the
ambulance come at the same time.
Then Mr.. Bowser sheds tears, and
| 90 and heat brick for his feet, tie
q towel around his head, send baby
up stairs and stop the clock so that
nothing may annoy him.
don't suppose that'one husband in
a hundred sets out TO find iault
around the house. It's just their
WAY. YOU know. They are boss, and
they feel that they must keep this
fact duly impressed on the minds oi
their wives. No husband is ever to
blame for any accident about the
house. The wife always Is. For IN
stance, water pipe down In the
basement burst the other day. Mr..
Bowser got home just as | was about
to telephone him.
Pipe busted Who busted itf be
shouted a. he pulled off his overcoat.
why, no one
"Yes. they did Waterpipes don't
bust without hely Some OF you
have been knocking on that pipe
with hammer.
went down and showed him that
the leak was at point where none OF
MS could possibly reach it, but he re-
piled:
We'll, some Of you are certainly TO
blame for it. That's the way-the
minute leave the house something
happens. Now we shall have a
plumber around here for a week for
a week or more, with bill OF forty
or fifty dollars !"
The back kitchen door had 10 be
taken of its hinges and planed of Il
little, and in =e-nanging il Mr. Bow
ser gSs IN hurry and only put one
crew in the lower hinge. The cook
found the others and laid them
aside. One day, after he bad got home
10 dinner, the door fell askew, as
might have been expected.
Now, what have you done "
shouted Mr.. Bowser to me as the
cook came in and reported.
IL didn't break the door"
You didn't! Then who did !"
lyon didn't put the screws back
when you rehung il"
Il didn't III bet you billion
dollars did. You are the cook went
deliberately TO work and took those