Dodge City times., 1890-05-23

| This course Of proceeding at once in
formed him that the first steamer bound
for that destination would sail from Lon.
don in two days time. The obvious pre-
caution to take was to have the dock
watched; and MOuntjoy's steady old serv-
ant, who knew Lord Harry by sight. was
the man to employ.
Iris naturally inquired what good end
could be attained if the anticipated dis
| covery actually took place.
To this MOuntjOy answered that the one
hOpe-a faint hope. he must needs confess
of inducing Lord Harry to reconsider
MS desperate purpose lay in the influence
of Iris herself. She must address a letter
to him announcing that his secret had
been betrayed by his own language and
conduct, and declaring that she would
never see him again, or hold any COM
municatiOn with him, if he persisted in
his savage resolution Of revenge. Such
was the desperate experiment which
Mountjoy's generous and unselfish devo-
tiOn to Iris now proposed to try.
The servant duly intrpsted with Miss
Henfey's letter. was placed on the watch
-and the event which had been regarded
as little better than a forlorn hope proved
to be the event that really took place.
Lord Harry was passenger on the steam
ship.
RIO Be Continued.
A drunken man sees everything
but his money. 1t is only the man
who saves who sees his money double.
-Yonkers Statesman.
Quevedo-"Do you think Miss
York dresses well. Miss Penn?' Miss
PENN think she undresses well. -
Philadelphia Inquirer.
Miss Tender-"How do YOU like
your steak, rare?" Tony the Tramp
':No, mum; don't like it that way.
but that's as often as l git it."-7Ime.
Judge-'.If 1 got as intoxicated as
you do I'd shoot myself" Prisoner
IF you was S tossicated as am you
couldn't hitter barn door," ~ TEXAS
SJtings.
"Will the coming man fy?" asks a
scientific writer. He may or may not.
In the mean time will the man who il
already here take q walk?-W City
Blizzard.
No, Cedric. the small boy who has
been doing wrong could hardly be
called locksmith, because at his faith
er's approach he makes bolt for the
NocAs otS LtttVfu.
1t is proposed when another arctic
search expedition is organized to send
q rescuing party along with it. This
is much better than the old style."-
atlanta Constitution.
The way to keep a husband home
evenings is to give him the baby to
hold just for minute, then skip out
and go over to mothers and spend the
evening.-Boston Courier.
Smokeless powder may be a good
thing with which to kill people, but
the invention of an odorless five-cent
cigar would be the boss things for saw
ing human life.-Burdette.
Quevedo-"I see that old sweetheart
of yours has married Gesner, whom
you hate so cordially" Curtis-"Yes.
She did think something of me, after
all."-PAiiadelphia Inquirer.
Indignant Citizen-'See here, amt
you ever going to clean up the streets?
Walking is almost an impossibility."
City Father-''Well, why don't YOU
ride? always do."-7erre Haute E1-
press.
'.How are you succeeding. Mr.. Horn
blower, in your work in the West?"
The Rev. Mr.. Hornblower-"Ma
Gently. There's a great awakening at
the close of every sermon. ."-JeWish
Messenger.
Mrs. Winks-'.So you have taken
another companion for better or
worse eh?" Mrs. Secondtrip-'Only
for better, my dear. He can't possi-
bly, be worse than the other one was"
-Terre Haute Express.
Tonsorial Artist (contemptuously)-
Say! what good are you Harvard fell
lers anyhow? Yer can't play football.
yer can't play baseball, yer can't row;
all yer can do is to get an education"
Harvard Lampoon.
Young Wife-"Are you happy, dear.
to be sailing on the matrimonial sea
with such kind and obedient mater"
Husband-''Yes, indeed; but don't you
think we better put into port littla
while and ship a cook?'-Kearney En-
terprise.
Father Drouthie-'.M McSwill.
didn't | see you coming out of a bar
room this morning?" Wretched Par
ishioner-"Yes. sir; I went in to get
some change" Father Drouthie-
Change for what?" w. F.-Breath."
.BurdeKe.
1t is reported that large number Of
English noblemen are coming to Amer
lea to escape criminal prosecution and
If this is true it may
save several American heiresses tho
expense and annoyance of q trip across
the ocean.-Puck.
First Kentucky Citizen-''Our coun.
try is going to vote on the liquor
traffic. Are you in favor of putting
i DOWN." Second Kentucky Citizen
-'Yes, sir, l am in favor of putting it
DOWN. You don't happen to have any
about you, do you?"-1imc.
Bad Boy (getting in q body blow)-
There. take that!" Good Boy Qold-
ing his arms with a sanity expression)
NO, Tommy, I will not hit you
back because promised mother that
would never strike . playmate, but
Clicking him in the stomach) how do
you like that?"-LJc.
Prospective Tenant-"But I thought
you wrote me that the house had .
vide prospect on the mountains. There
IRE nothing but mountains of dirt
where the aqueduct is being dug"
%. but, my dear madam. you could
not possibly expect them to Be made Of
chocolate at the rent named. Pile
1ende Blatter.
She-'George. You win have to give
ne $l2 to pay the grocer's last bin
With" He-"Why, how's that. my
leara I Thought 1 always gave you |
money enough" She-'.Well. you
zee. dear. had to take the grocer's
money to pay for that handsome um-
'rella I'm going to give you for Christ
nas."-SmitHs Aonthiy.
Algernon-..You know Augustus has |
aken to riding horseback for exer.
'isee" Alonzo-''Yes. I've seen him;
y the way. isn't he very fond Of oys.
ersr" Algernon-''Of oystersf don't
Alonzo = '.Becapse