Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1890-01-11
Written for THE EVENING STAR
THE BRIC-A-BRAC RETAINER.

written lor 4 HE EVENING STAR.
THE BRIC-A-BRAC RETAINER.
An Invention Intended to Check the
Depredations of Robber Guests.
The shabby man who had gained reluctant
admission to the Connecticut avenue mansion
sat down on the edge of a damask-covered
fauteuil and waited patiently for the appear.
ance of the mistress of the house.
MADAM" said he, rising respectfully as she
entered. my only apology for this intrusion is
that have something of exceptional value to
offer-something that in the course of year
will save you both loss and annoyance. The
article in question have just patented. 1t is
a novelty cheap at many times its actual price
and is called the 'bric-a-brac retainer You,
dare say. have suffered more or less from the
raids of predatory guests who carry off from
your receptions and parties ornaments and SO
forth as if they were lawful spoil"
ut Is true, must confess" replied the LADY,
During the last four years / suppose have
twice filled my house with articles of a deco
ratlve nature, buying them from time to time.
and yet l have left at present scarcely one
thing of the sort that is worth carrying away.
Everything readily portable seems to have gone,
L don't know how. Only this 1 am sure Of
that after every ball or reception certain
pieces OF my property have been found missing
In the chamber used as dressing room for
ladies l have had four sets of silver-backed
brushes and combs-such Injuries cost from
$50 to $50 apiece, you know-and they have all
vanished The last set fastened to the bureau
with heavy silver chains. but they were bitten
OH with pincers, chains and all"
1T is really dreadful, madam; but as was
about to remark
TOOK THE WRONG CANE.
Eyes, as you were saying, nothing seems to
escape these people who take things2 They
must simply grab. One night last January |
missed my new fire irons, and then remem-
bered having seen an unidentified gentleman
on his way out through the hall swinging a
queer-looklng cane with brass knob and a
| crook at the wrong end. am convinced to
this day that it was my best poker. However
the person who took it may have drunk too
much champagne and have mistaken the fire.
place in the drawing room for the hat rack
Color is lent to that supposition, any way by the
| fact that a gold-headed stick, never afterward
called for, was left that evening by somebody.
Maybe-if my theory was correct-the owner
was ashamed to come back and solicit an ex-
change. But, even SO, the shovel and tongs re-
main still unaccounted for. Yet that is moth
ing. have more than once lost the entire
paraphernalla of mentelpiece or etagere at a
single swoop. woman was once caught ope-
| rating at reception, have heard, with an
| enormous pocket in her dress, into which she
could readily sweep, at a moments notice. a
whole shelf full of ornaments. Some such
wholesale robber must have gained admittance
here beyond doubt"
That, madam, is precisely where the bric-a-
prac retalner-
THEY TAKE EVERYTHING.
'Even my table silver has disappeared al
such a rate that have been really distressed
at the loss. You see, owing to my husbands
position, am obliged to entertain rather more
indiscriminately than should otherwise, per-
haps, and you know what that means. Not
only do many people come to my house BY in
vitation whom would scarce regard as belong
ing to my set, but my receptions-even some
times my parties-are not infrequently attended
by guests who are not invited at all No pains
are taken to turn such intruders out, for rea-
sons strictly official. High public Office may
have its advantages, but, for my part, would
prefer the independence of commonplace me-
diocrity. My husband seems to have a pas
sion for serving the public, but don't know
more disagreeable master, and 1 would
rather be in the employ of somebody who had
not the right to invade my home at will. You
know well how the notion has gone abroad that
| in Washington it is not necessary, if one wishes
to attend an entertainment, to wait for a bid
ding. But, goodness mel how ii would crafty
me to snub such interlopers, if were only not
semi-public parsonage. The incidental loss
OF small furniture is only trifling part of the
affection. 1t is bad enough, however"
Il sympathize with you heartily, madam;
but this invention of mine"
RED-HoT STOVES NOT SAFE
'Indeed, it is almost too much for endur-
ance. My plan for putting stop to the nui-
sance, if it only were practicable-and don't
think any other could be SOS TO put a chain
on each guest upon entering the house, allow
ing them a reasonable range and have him or
n
private detectives before departure. As things
are now one is altogether defenseless. II
caught any one III the act of carrying off nv
property it would hardly be worth making a
rumpus about At the worst the verdict would
be 'kleptomania,' that being the term in vogue
In polite society for stealing. Why, have
actually seen ornaments of mine on the man
telpiece of somebody elses house, but said
nothing"
HOPE FOR THE VICTIM.
"But, madam" said the shabby man. this
bric-a-brac retainer of which have been speak
ing will solve the difficulty. Permit me to at
tach it to SO peculiarly shaped an article as
that vase on the chimney shelf. 1t is made,
you see, of steel and vulcanized rubber. /
have now, with single motion. applied it, and
will defy you to move the vase an inch. The
device Is readily adjustable to bric-a-brac
or any and every shape, and nothing to
which it is fastened can possibly be removed,
unless with Ratchet and cold chisel 1t may
be that guests would bring those instruments
with them but for the fact that the noise they
made would be too great However, this
means absolute safety for your ornaments; the
retainer does not show particle, being small
and adjusted behind the objects to be pro.
tected, and you have all the satisfaction of
feeling secure in the possession of your house,
hold decorations. L may put you down for two
dozen tor trial? Thank you, madam. They
VIII be delivered this afternoon and will drop
In next week for further orders"
Afraid of Her Medicine.
The mistress of house on Dupont circle
had occasion one day last week to administer a