The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1890-10-18
THE ARIZONA KICKER.
Some of the Annoying Things That Try
an Editors Soul.


an Editors Soul.
ALPHABETICAL subscribers will
not fail to notice the sad condition of
our third page to-day. We had the form
ready for press when Judge Gilbert, our
popular and esteemed Circuit Judge,
called at the office in drunken condi-
ton, and in his attempt to hug us to
prove his affection, he knocked tho
form into "pi." We hadn't time to reset
the matter, and so had to leave the page
blank While we are sorry, it is not our
fault. We can't even pitch into the
Judge about it. He not only owes us $50
borrowed money, but controls legal ad-
vertising to the amount Of $500. This
is our position, and we trust our readers
will appreciate it.
A BAFFLED CoNTEMPoRARY.-At ten
o'clock last Sunday night we got word
| by telephone that some one was open
ing the graves in our private cemetery,
wherein lie the remains of the seven
different men who have tried to get the
drop on us but were n trifle too late. We
made for the scene at q rapid gait, and
what was our astonishment to discover
that the marauder was no less person
than our esteemed contemporary-th
editor, publisher and proprietor of the
| Cow-Bell Gazette and Ding-Dong Adver-
| tiser. The old villain has stolen our
| office stove-borrowed our wood pile
hooked our job type-conspired with
! our forcman-begged our ink-opened
dozens of our letters and lied about us
from Sunday morning to Saturday
| L. l,g 10 nd
| initiate our enterprises and repeated
failures have made him desperate
He hasn't the nerve to pull gun,
even when his nose is between some
ones fingers. He pooh-poohed our grave
yard in every issue, and sought in every
way to belittle our courage. Fired with
hate because everybody who comes hero
want to see that little burying-ground,
he planned to go out there and dig up
every body and transplant tho lot to
| graveyard of his own. We have heard
of stupendous cheek, but this case takes
the cake. What did we do? Well, we
didn't want to kill the poor old, long
shanked, bow-legged cousin of a cactus,
but we did turn to and maui him until
the boys over at Ranch Fourteen-seven
/
that now species of whipporwill had
| struck Arizona We understand he
| claims to have been "highwayed" and
robbed, and he's Dragging that he
wounded two strangers. The case is as
we have given it.
STOPPED HIS AD.-Two weeks ago we
suggested to the public the propriety of
| putting a hempen neck-tie on Dan
Smith, the proprietor of the Last Chance
Saloon, and swinging him up to limb.
1t seemed to us to be the best way to
work reform in his everyday de-
meanor. DGn was advertising with u.s.
and he ordered his ad out. Result:
Dan Smith is now back at the Kansas
State Prison to serve his uneXpired
! term.
There's a moral in this. We propose
to take advertising in a business way
and as a business investment No mat
ter who is advertising with us, we shall
refer to him editorially in any way we
deem best. Had Smith sought revenge
by shooting at us we should have hon
ored him. When he turned in and
stopped six-iuch ad. which we had
n given Hlul IL lON ItbC OIi' anu "hiSh "'
needed to fill out the sixth column of
tho third page, we decided that it was
time to close the game.
MORE FooLIsHNEss.- We have known
jim Hastings for over two years, drunk
and sober and we never supposed that
he was bit sensitive about having the
entire American population know that
he sleeps in the ditch oftener than in
his bed. In our last issue we incident
ally referred to him in connection with
a barrel of whisky, supposing he would
feel flattered if any thing. To our great
amazement he walked into this office
yesterday and demanded a personal and
public apology. He had with him a
written apology, good for six solid col
umns, which he wanted us to publish or
take the consequences. We generally
prefer the consequences. We did in
this case, and il was painful spectacle
to see poor old jim, who was once a
gifted lawyer, and is now living on his
mother-in-law, peel off to do us up. We
simply dropped him out of back win
dow, and when he borrowed a gun at
the Star saloon and fired six bullets
into the Kicker Office we paid him not
the least attention. He is around town
boasting of how he is going to shoot us
on sight. Foolish old man! We can
only pity you!-Detroit Free Press