Mower County transcript., 1890-07-09
THE LiMEKlLN CLUB
Prof.. McAfoy johnson Delivers Q Lecture
Oh = Weighty Subject.

i ProI' McAfOy johnson Delivers Q Lecture
| Oh = Weighty Subject.
When the meeting had been duly
opened Brother Gardner announced that
Prof McAfoy Johnson, Of Florida, was
in the ante-room and waiting to deliver
his celebrated address on: "Whar Was
We? Whar Is We? and Whar Shall
We be? or What's de Use of All Dis
Fussin'?"
"De professor arrove heah two days
ago. explained the president, ''an' ate
mo- purvishuns at one meal dan me an
de ole woman could eat in week. l
has had to lend him white shirt, pair
OF socks, two paper collahs an fo'ty
cents in money, an I won't conceal de
fack from you dat hope he will leave
town right away arter dis lecktur. In
case he shows a disposition to linger
trust that Giveadam Jones will
take 1t upon hisself to see dat he moves
along. While doan' wish to discour-
age talent an ambishun among our
race, can't afford to foot all de ex.
pense out of my own pocket. AS fur
do essay, l doan' know what it is. We
will give him a. far show, an when he
retires Brudder Jones will retire wild
him an drop broad hint dat it is only
hal! mile across de- water to Canada. :"
The professor was then escorted in.
He was tall, cadaverous man, with a
hollow voice and sunkon eyes, and the
first impression made was that he could
eat meat and potatoes all day long with
out filing up He was received with
much applause, which compliment he
acknowledged by bowling to the right
and left, and with every bow his pants
pulled up ON his boot-legs q full six
inches.
Having arrived at the platform, the
professor put down two goblets of water,
slipped a troche into his mouth, and
after removing his neck-tie and collar
he led off with:
"My con6din' friends whar' was we?
Jump backwards wild me to the Garden
of Eden, an you find a man wanderin'
up an down among the pansies an de
hollyhocks 1t was de beautifulest
place you eber saw. Outside of de
flowers an shrubs, dar was water
melyons an peaches an grapes an per-
simmons till you couldn't rest All
Adam had to do was to eat wild one
hand an 60 fshin' wild de odder.
He could sleep all night an half CT do
next day. He didn't hev nutfiE to
buy, no taxes to pay, an c&:ck-
ens roasted so low down dat he d: Int
hev to use no ladder. You hev plaba-
bly, bin told dat Adam was white rs,an,
but doan let any body fool you. l lev
son kin, an all de facl1s go to show dat
he was of our color. [Great applause.
l hev bin told dat he probably resem-
bled de pusson who now stands bofo'
you. Faint applause.] AS to dat it
makes no difference, an am not de
man to try an build myself up at any
one else's expenses. Dat's whar' we
was, my contidin' friends-right in the
| Garden of Eden, gettin' fat ebery day
| an hevin' dc tallest kind of a time. We
reckoned we had struck ajob dat would
last foreber, an we was puffed up &C.
cordin'. We felt dat we owned de
airth, an nobody could tech us wild =
ten,foot pole. [Applause.]
"My next subject" said the speaker,
after swallowing a largo quantity of
water, sis: 'Whar' Is We?" While we
was walkin' on our high heels about dat
garden, foelin' ourselves de aristocracy
| of de airth, long cum de bounce an we
| was lifted out widout cent in our
| pockets or shirt to our backs. We has
clumb to dc top of de persimmon tree to
fall kerchunk. [Agitation. From en-.
joyin' FREQ board an lodgin's, wild nuf.
i'm to do but hunt rabbits an go fishin',
we was bounced out to live on grass an
made our beds in the bull-rushes. More
agitation We got it bad, an we has bin
down on our luck eber since. OATS why
we doan' push ahead faster. OATS why
we am at de bottom an de white
man at de top. He didn't git no sich
soft snap to begin wild, an so he didn't
hev muffin to lose nor feel bad about.
Whar' is we? We am de unde: dog.
We am down. We has got to take de
'taters. Groans and sighs.
MY next subject disqualifles de i'm.
putashun of 'Whar' Shall We Be?:
While l realized the percolashun dat
we has gained upon it, de fucher has
an imputashus disinclinashun. some
times feel like givin' up de struggle fur
impenetrability an subsistin' NIX en-.
devors to prolong de . asservaAhun.
[Yells. Five centuries hence do sus.
ceptibility may professionally espsuse
de avariciousness, but whar will NO be
den? In consonance wild previous
expostulashuns, I feel dat we
orter to relinquish de assiduity of dc
hemisphere an seek to evaporate de
hallucination which combats our solari'
ty Gem'len, wild desc few remarks, an
thankin' you from de bottom of my
heart for de Indifference wild which you
hev eliminated de frigidity Of my salu
tashun, l hev de honor to bid you good
night, an to add dat fur de mex 70
weeks shall make my headquarters al
de cabin of Brudder Gardner, whar
shall be prepared to remove cons an
bunions at de rate of twenty-five cents .
remove"
A great storm of applause greeted the
speaker as he retired. So did Giveadam
Jones. Brother Jones returned in about
ten minutes, with his toes showing
through his right boot and loose sole