River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1890-05-08
A COMEDY OF ERRORS.
The Tale of Two Anglomaniac
Families in England.


Families in England.
The fast-grOwing custom OF wealthy
New Workers coming over to England
and renting country-houses has lately
led to an amusing occurrence, the facts
Of which might be profitably worked
into a scene in a novel or a play. II
seems that two fine cOuntry-houses,
each surrounded by splendid park and
situated close to each other, in one OF
the home counties, are severally owned
by a certain peer. whom we shall call
the Earl Of Portcullis, and by a certain
barOnet, whom we shall call Sir Rod
erick Blennerhassett The nObleman's
place is called Grassland Park; that OF
the barOnet Oakden Manor. Sometime
during the autumn months, both Lord
POrtcuIIis and Sir Roderick, for reasons
of quite distinct character, determined
TO spend the winter on the continent
and to let their houses for six months.
To that end, they put the houses in the
hands OF two West End house-agents 70
be let, aud. ere long. satisfactory ten.
ants were found for each in the persons
be remarked that neither hOuze-ageni
was aware that the other house was for
rent So that when the two New YORK
families applied 20 each, one was told
that Sir ROderick was a near neighbOr,
while the other was informed that the
Earl of POrtcullis lived near by. 4
house owned by an earl, with a baronet
next door, suited one AnglOmaniac down
TO the ground. while house owned BY
baronet, with an earl next door, ex
actly filed the bill for the other.
Nothing could be better. Rent, &C.
commOdatiOn, and habitable condition
were minor considerations in both
cases. and the houses were taken in
stanter.
So Grassland Park fell to Mr.. Schuy-
Ter Van Wrinkle and Oakden Manor "a
Mr. Hiram T. Bassett. November saw
each gentleman with his family in resi-
dence. Now, the Van Wrinkles and
Bassetts, though both New Workers, did
not know each other. The Van Wrinkles
were in and of the wOrld-famOus -Four
Hundred. The Bassetts were not That
was sufficient The Van Wrinkles con.
sisted Of Mr.. and Mrs and their daugh.
ter Julia. handsome, high-bred girl oil
two and twenty, who had been nearly
but not quite belle in New York sOci
ETY. for couple Of seasons. The Bias
sett family was made up of Mr.. and
Mrs. their daughter Dora, a pretty but
somewhat loud young lady of nineteen
and their son Hiram T., Jr., commonly
designated among his family and init
mate friends eli"
Let ms bark back to November. wher
the Van Wrinkles and Bassetts have
been in residence about a fortnight
I'm considerably disappointed" says
Mrs. Bassett, one morning at breakfast
'I've been Overhauling the card-receiv.
or and find there isn't single title
among them all"
s'AIl double ones. eh?- asks Hi. who
thinks himself wit
His mother does not deign 70 notice
him: Mr.. Bassett reads in silence the
London morning paper while he
eats The could not do a moro un-En
glish thing If he tried, and Dora says:
How very provoking, What can be
the reason? I'm afraid the house-agent
took Us in He said Lord Portcullis
lived very near"
Yes. / know he did. Perhaps I've
overlooked him Let me have another
try" and Mrs. Bassett, with a hopeful
look in her eyes. produces q c china
card-receiver from her zap beneath tbs
table-clOth, and spreads the contents
out. one BY one, on the table in front Of
of her, pushing aside her plate 20 make
room. mo, was right There's nc
name of the sort As l say" and she
gathers up the cards and throws them
disdainfully back into the receiver
there is not a single title among
them"
The Earl of POrtcullis." says Dora
meditatively; Il wonder wonder"
well. what do you wOnder?7 asks
her mother. with some misgivings as tC
the drift Of her daughters cogitatiOns
IF he's a myth?"
MY. no. exclaimS Dora; Il know
better than that Our groom knows
one Of his lOrdship's grOOms very we'll
Only IL Lord Entitled knows him"
Mr.. Bassett looks up quickly from hi.
paper
WAT auouN Loiu EAt AAtN' NC
asks.
Il only said / wondered IL he knew
Lord POrtcullis."
who's Lord POrtcullis?'
How tiresome you are. papa
He's Lord POrtcullis--Cr the Earl oil
Portcullis. il you like it better. That.
all know about him, except that h,
lives at Grassland Park.
''oh, yes. TO be sure. That's the man
I forgot his name. Bye-the-bye. | saw
hin out driving to-day. That IS 70 say
he drove out of the park gates as | Wa
passing in my fOur-in-hand coach A
tall. handsome. distinguishing man
and he had a mighty pretty daughter
81 least. l presume she was.
What? Pretty OF his laughter
queries Hi
Both, answers Mr.. Bassett, with al
annihilating nod at MS SOL; anything
further TO offerP7 HiblS no. and hi:
father goes on Il guess ne begins
with one of those lapses back IA his nat
ural individuality, not uncommon will
the average AnglOmaniac-
"What?" cry Mrs. BasSett and Dor;
in breath.
~Eh?7 says Mr.. Bassett; what? Oh
Well, fuzzy it was the earl H'
looked like an Englishman. anyhow"
s1Of course 1t was" says Mrs. Bassett
''who else could il be? And there is {
rife-there must be, Of course, if there;
slaughter.
Yes. q wife. daughter and son. re
marks Dora: so George-Our groom
YOU know-says- wish 1 had Peer
age"
where is it? Lost ito" asks he
mother, anxiouslv.
"No. Forgot to pack 1t up
''Of all things to forget" exclaimed
Mrs. Bassett; were in pretty n
now
I'll telegraph up 70 London for one
st once" says Mr.. Bassett-
~Tn not talking Of the 'Peersge,