The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1890-03-26
HUMOR OF THE DAY.


Herd on a train-the inmates of a cat
tie car.-Nerehaat Traeeler.
Furniture dealers always have plenty
of spring goods on hand.-Lawreace
american.
''In what class of factories do the
most strikes occur2" lin clock works,
| believe. n-Epoch.
The commercial drummer is probably
so called because he performs. so skill
fully on the merchants ear-drum.-
Biaghamtoa Lea9er.
"Never Judge a man by the umbrella
he carries; he may have just left an old
cotton one for it at the restaurant he last
patrouized. ."-Judge.
She-"I like to think of my girlhood
days" He--"Does it not require an ef-
fort to carry your mind so far back to the
past - Yankee Blade.
'I'd rather be a wild turkey and live
on the prairie" said little boy, ethan
be tame turkey and be killed every
year. n-Ne,o Yorh Ne,cs.
Wife Gn a tifD-"What do you men
know about a womans dress! Hus-
band lin hollow voice. e)-"The price,
madame !"-Le Figaro.
The life of locomotive is from fifteen
to twenty-five years. Perhaps if it would
give up the bad habit of smoking it
would run up to fifty.--Judge.
Stranger Crying to be friendly
GLOW is your health!" Dyspeptic (gruff-
| I,N ttJJo,, do I lypovv2 bovapit bo6
any for the last five years. Time.
Although it may not be vice
Pm sure it is shame,
That we should always find it nice
To have some one TO blame
--NeO York Sun.
A boy baby generally talks before
girl baby, it is said. But we've noticed
that the girl usually makes up for all the
lost time before she leaves this sphere
Statesman.
First Tramp of the Gang-"Say, fell
lers, here's an apple. Shall l cut it up
into quarters" Second Tramp-'No,
cut it up into ifty-cent pieces. "-Bur-
| haqtOn Free Press.
Some day there will be trouble be-
cause the purchaser Of load of coal in
sists on taking possession of the wagon
and driver for no better reason than that
he paid for them by weight Washington
Post.
Hes an awfully smart boy. dis
charged him from my employ and told
him I'd never take him back. Then he
eloped with my daughter, and now I've
got to support him until he finds work !"
Epocd
Salesman--"That piece of goods will
work up into Il good serviceable dress if
5ou don't think the pattern is too loud, y
Purchaser--''Oh, not at all. The lady
I'm buying it for is deaf mute. -
BiHghdmtoR Lea,ier.
'I felt SO nervous, mamma said
little girl, referring to an accident on the
| previous day. "What do you mean by
nervous my dear" "Why, mamma,
it's just being in Il hurry all over. -
Springfield Republican,.
The Peacemaker-'Don't you know it
is very wrong to fight, little boyl What
/ does the good book say2" Tommy (who
has Just polished off the class bully
~ dunno. amt read it no further than
David an Gerlire. Puck.
Young Mr.. Harduppe-'I might have
known you were too old to marry me
before | was foolish enough to propose.
Miss Ann Tique-"And yet one would
not have to be so very aged to have that
much sense, either. "-lerre Hluto Ez'
press.
Customer -- "You advertise these
gloves, former price 75c, per pair, now
one-half of, and yet you are charging
74c. per pair. How is that" Polite
Shopkeeper-"They were 37bc. each,
now they are BE That's 3 oil as adj
vertised. - ClOthier amt Ftuaisher.