The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-11-09
VI IIC IdrIU.
A BUNCH OF STRAwS.

"A
about the time of the Guiteau trial, which
was intended then to convey the meaning
| of irresponsible lunacy.
/ The term crank has been revolution
/ lied since then into word which, like
/ charity, covers a multitude of restless
/ idea-tOrmented souls who have been name
! less, except as the words "craZy" or she
retic" were hurled in anger or pity at their
heads A crank, nowadays, is one who,
/ thinking differently or in advance of other
people, endeavOrs to at up to that
thought, and to influence others to think
and act the same.
All great inventors, discoveries
and reformers were cranks In
their day from Gallileo and Bruno down
to those inspired fanatics Garrison, Sum-
ner and Phillips, and later, Edward Bel
lamy. Henry George and all the lesser
cranks that turn the great wheel of pro-
gresS OF course there are numbers of
small cranks all turning their particular
little world. The fact that the wheel is
turned means progress. To remain sta
tionary Is to stagnate. There IS life IN
motion and death and decay in rest. You
must move or be moved. If you march
with the procession you will escape being
ground to powder in the inevitable turn.
Contentment is a virtue that has been
lauded to the skies and enjolned on hu-
mainly since Solomon's time. If human
beings were content we would have re-
manned in the condition of savages until
today. There is an amusing story of a
king, who, suffering from extreme melan-
choly: was advised by his physician to
wear the shirt of a contented man. They
were mighty scarce; but after securing the
kingdom from Dan to BeerSheba a con-
tented man was at last brought before the
unhappy monarch, only to say: But, sir,
l have no shirt
But l started out to write
bout some harmless cranks L
air crank, with complexion so blooming,
a carriage so easy and elastic, that it was
a tonic only to look at her With eyes as
bright as twin stars this delightful crank
looks ont on the world with positive pleas
ure With every pulse tlngling with the
health born of pure ozone, inhaled TO the
very tip of her toes, she is a handsome foil
to the hollow-chested, spiritless creature,
who breathes no deeper than the top of
her No. 10 corset. 1t is agony for this dear
crank to sit in a crowded hall, packed with
every sort of people, with an atmosphere
rivaling that of the catacombs-
When she enters a car and lifts win
dow to neutraliZe the condensed essence of
foul breaths. unbathed bodies, tobacco
and cheap perfumeries, her neighbor in
front glares at her as if she were a Cor
CONS head. and the fat old man behind
turns up his collar and SneeZeS buster
inc. reproachful protest.
This breezy crank of mine breads a
sleeping car as the grave.
Visions of all the Tom, Dick and Harry,
RAG. tag and bobtail, who have been
swathed in the elegant Pullman blankets,
before her. fill her soul with horror and
disgust. Ghosts of emanatiOns from
unciean skins. bacteria or microbes from
diseased breaths and even unnamable
specimens of entomology, peer at her from
the gaudy stripes, perch grotesquely on
her pillow. or caper nlmbly over her
shrinking person.
There is one thing she can and does do,
summer or winter. 10 the porter's disgust
That Is, have a screen put in her window;
so with her own shawl wrapped about her
shoulders and her nose glued to that screen
she manages to breathe fresh alr-an1 Gin
ders, which are wholesomer at all events
than-wOrse things
If this blessed fresh air crank can i'm
part few of her invigorating ideas to the
world about her. we shall have fewer
catarrhal. sneezing, snOrting and splitting
caricatures of humanity, and more hardy,
robust men and women who are not aSham-
ed 70 own "A large waist, and who can exist
out of the eneryating atmosphere OF FUR
mace.
As an exact opposite to this type is the
Nll4lu tItuh- kEDEEd4lNs b4~ AApt CIV a. = VI
the feminine gender, also. This Is one
who leaves hope on the sidewalk. and pre-
pares for death every time she boards the
electric car. Sudden death turks for her
in every wire and pulley. She it
j. who makes study OF what
she can eat and what she
can not. She Is afraid Of pork on &C
count Of trichina. Of beef on account Of
lump jaw and dishonest dealers. She
feaIs an epidemic Of cholera every sum
mer. and Oh. how she shuns might ar,
a. II one could breath anything else than
night air At night. This one i 50 afraid
Of might air" and -draughts.' that 70
enter her bOudoir, is 70 encounter all the
odors and unsavory smells ever waited by
the wind OF time. They cling affection
ately 10 her apartments a. mould 10 an
unventilated cellar. There are faint re-
minders Of patent nostrums- OF scented
soap, OF carbOlic acid. Of musk-but why
enumerated think II never occurs 70 her
mind 70 open the windows and change the
stale air. The ozone OF last year lies stark
and dead amid the meshes OF her heavy
Wilton carpets ana thick curtains Bah,
Lets get away from her. A EOLUs