The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1890-04-24
MIsSF LLANEoUs.


Love is a species of intoxication
that swells tho heart instead of the
head
Chinese school children sometimes
forget their p's, but never their Is
Burlington Free Press.
When you have a cold you do not
know how TO cure it. All your friends
know how, and they tell you, but that
does not aifoct the cold.-N 0. Plea
yune.
"A writor maintains that thirteen is
not an unlucky number because thirteen
colonies united to form this nation. He
| does not quote King George Ills opin-
ion on the lucl1iness of that STEP
Yenowine's News.
"A Michigan man buried his wife,
put up headstone, repainted his house,
married a second wife, and dug five
acres of potatoes within seventeen days,
and yet he says he can't begin to hustle
as his father used to-Detroit FREQ
/ Press.
What beautiful t>ibute was that
| paid to a departed citizen of a Western
town! The editor of local paper wrote
that ST was an honest man; he was
truthful man; he was one of the best
trout fishermen in this section '-Kear-
ney Enterprise.
In reply to correspondent who de-
sired to know 1.-THE value Of an iota, -
the Chicago News gives tho following
table:
-Four joiS make one iOta.
Two iotas makes one whit.
-Four whits make one little.
Two Titles make one srnitcl.
How reports grow; First Gossip-''I
| heard to-day that Miss olympic was in
very poor health" Second Gossip-''O,
no; she's perfectly well. The story grew
from the fact that old Moneybags pro-
| posed to her suddenly last week, and, as
| she told friend, shocked her into de-
| cline.-Somerville Journal.
An old man, evidently from the
rural districts, with humorous counte-
nance and clad in an ancient garb, cree
/ ated much amusement at Akron, O., for
| the passengers of a street car. His at
| tention was attracted to the fare inlica-
tor at the end of the car. Looking at his
watch for moment he remarked:
"Wall, 1 guess Pm trife slow" Every
body laughed but the old man.
At Oldtown, Me-, few days ago a
woman was called to the door by her
milliner who wished to collect a bill of
/ Sl5 The good woman was sorry to disap-
point her, but only few days previous
she had invested her ready money in an
/ orgauette, and politely ushered her caller
/ into the parlor to examine the instru-
ment. The music roll was adjusted, and
| as the crank revolved the room was filled
with melodiOus strains of that ex-popu-
/ lar song, 81 have fifteen dollars in my
4 inside pocket" The incident was so COM
ical that both sought relief in laughter.
! -Balzac, being asked to explain an
abstruse passage in one of his books,
/ frankly owned it had no meaning at all:
! ''You Sec" said he, ''for the average
/ reader all that is clear seems easy, and,
If did not sometimes gives him COM
/ piicated and meaningless sentence, he
would think he knew as much as myself.
/ But, when he comes upon something he
4 can not comprehend, he re-reads IT.,
! puzzles over it, takes his head between
/ his hands, and glares at it, and, finding
| t impossible to make head or tail of It,
Jays, Great man, Balzac; he knows
more than I do"
Home returneth the good pastor
from an earned vacation. TO him the
elder, far better than the pastor, comes
with fervent greeting, Shaking his
head sadly, he says, with earnestness
that far outstrips his originality: ''Ah,
parson, the dovil never takes vaca-
ton" "No, indeed" the parson re-
plies, with an unexpected outburst of
genuine heartiness, ''he doesn't need
one; he never works hard enough. If
ne should take my contract to draw this
congregation uphill to heaven, instead
Of merely amusing himself by dancing
with it on the primrose grade, he'd
%ant vacation every six weeks, and
/ then he'd break down before the year
/ was out. Robert S. Burdette.