Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-01-24
PITH AND POINT.

one suit of clothes.
When train is telcscopcd the passen
gers are apt to see stars.
The raining favorite--A good UNI
brella that belongs 10 another man.
A business engasement-Securing the
matrimonial promise of an hcircss.
The consumer may consider Himself
lucky if he gets milk oil the first water
One often hears of skipping rope,
: but nobody ever saw rope that skipped.
A hen is conscicntious-IIe chief OBJ
ject i'll life is to fill the Bingham-
ton Republican.
a woman may be too good for this
world, but she cannot lie too pretty or
too amiablc Boston Courier
When a near-sishtcd man has 81 nf
abstraction does he pick pocket or iu-
consistently take n PARKWAY look:
Young Husband" You look thought
full, dear, is your subject ii deep one?"
Young Wifc-"Oh, no, indeed; l was
only thinking of YOU"
''Thats Il great mine I tell you
there's money in it," GLOW do You
know there is2' well, l put fifty thou.
sand in it myself. "-Batar
80, you're burglar2' Eyes, your
Hosorw "You must he man of iron
ncrvc?' "Oh, no, sir-it's steal nerve
my business requires. y Chi,mgo Ledger.
Young Lady (ailor matc)-"Take my
scat, please" Old Lady (uear sighted,
but gratcfuD-"Thank you, sir. You
are the only gentleman in the car. -
Boston Budyd.
shc-"And just think, Arthur, the
Holwclls have got stained glass in their
dining room" lie interested in his
papcr)-'Badly stained, my dear?"-
Rochester Pest Express.
Shell am feeling very bad Some.
thing is pickering before my eyes all the
time" fIe-"Great Christopher Co
lumbus! she is limiting for another dia-
mond ring. "-7Geas eJtinqs.
Tom-"Your employer has Just called
you, Jack. lie addressed You rs Mister
How polite he is 10 his clerksn Jack
-"Polite! All, yes; inc owes Inc three
weeks salary. - Taakee Blode.
Phiianthropi,t Ito small boy)-"And
so you've got a'littlc sister at home, have
you, sonny! What DO you do when you
get toyether?" Small Boy Oaconically)
Eight. -PhiGtdelohm Eaqri,yr.
"Why do you wear that horrible
style of dress?" "Alasl ! have to-"
"You have to?" ''Ycs, it is an impcra-
tive decree" "a decree from whom"
"From my drcssmascr. y Chicayo GloJe.
When they told this good ,ian that his time
was nigh,
They dreamed not what trouble he'd give;
He lived when the doctor WAS sure he would
lie,
And died when lie was sure he would live.
Epoch.
First Burglar-'Par,l the JIG is up
No breaking into that bank tonight"
Second Burglar" WHAT'S the matter2
Are the detectives onto us?' First
Burglar-"No; saw the president and
cashier buying tickets Cor Montreal this
morning. y Time
Urgent Busness. -Laura-sA untic,
would be justified in writing 20 young
man who has never written to ,nc.n Auntic
-"Only on very important business,
my dear" I.aura-''Well, this is inn
portant business. want to marry him."
Tore Mtaic E,rprc,s.
The young man who all summer long was
troubled in his dream
To hunt up surplus cash enough to buy his
love ice cream,
Still wears look of WEAKNESS upon his palo
young brow;
He fnds.it costs him just rs much to feed her
oysters now.
Chicago Herald.
Customer-''Therc's one drawback to
business like yours" Barber" What is
that" Customer-''It is impossible for
men Of your calling to get rid of I'M
pleasant acq,laintanccs." Barbcr-"I
would like to know wny?" Customer
lyon can't afford to cat anybody -
Boston Courier.
A medical writer looked through n
microscope Mt Il closely shaved face, and
he reports that the skin rescmblcd u
piece of raw beef. That's the way the
skin of the face frequently appears, with
ont the aid of microscope, after man
has been shaved by a BARRIERS apprentice.
-NOlyi5t0lon UeFuid