Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1890-05-30
LA WYER ALIENS FIRST
VICTORY.

Private John Allen of Mississippi
who became the wit Of the House of Rep
resentatives with the death of Sunset Cox
tells a good story on himself of how h,
came To be profound lawyer.
\ panty OF members were telling yarnl
in the cloak room of the House. and wheI
Aliens turn came he told this one:
Il want to tell you of the greatest legal
victory Of my life, said Allen, as be
lighted cigar and propped his feet against
the wall in true Southern style. Ut va:
down in Tupelo during the trying period
just after the war. | was at that time a
practicing lawyer that is, l practised
whenever had any cases to practice with.
One day ''Unele" Pompey, one of the old
negroes OF the settlement, came into my
office and said:
MARS John, | wants you TO elar me.
lSe gwine to be rested for de stealin' OF
two hams out'en de cross road store"
ell, Pompey,' / asked, did you steal
the hamSl"
Mars John | took en-
Did any one see your l asked
&" Vas, boss, SAID the old negro discon-
solately, two ole white buckra's'
Well, Pompey, / replied, L can't do
anything for you under the circumstances
-. .Aaw. Mars Hahn said a-olS p~~.-~--
heres ten dollars. l jist want you to try.
We'll, | consented to try" said Allen.
THE case was to be heard before an old
magistrate named Johnson. He totally
uneducated, and was, moreover, perfect
dictator, and no negro ever came before
him who was not fined the maximum PEN
atty and sent to his field to expiate the
crime in the sweat of his brow.
''The magistrate heard the case. Every
possible proof was brought to show that
Pompey stole the hams. There could be
no doubt of it from the testimony. | did
not put a single question to any of the
witnesses, but when the testimony was all
in arose, and in my most dignified man
ner.addressed the magistrate:
q May it please you honor, it would be
useless for me to argue before one lwho
would adorn the superior if not the supreme
court bench of this grand old Common
wealth. And may say that those who
know you best say that you would grace
even the supreme court ofthe United States,
the highest tribunal in the land. 1t is use
less to dwell upon the testimony. You
have heard it, and know the case as well
as | do. However, it may not be out OF
order for me to call your honor's attention
to n short passage in the old English law,
which clearly decides this case, and which,
for the moment your honor may have for
gotten
Then / ished down in my pocket and
drew forth, with great flourish, an old
copy of Julius Caesar l opened it with
great dignity to the first page and read the
line which is familiar to every school boy,
0mnia Gallia in parties tress divisa est
''That decides the case" said /, throw
ing the book upon the table. That clearly
acquits the defendant
with great dignity and solemnity
then took my seat. The old magistrate
was completely nonpulsed He looked at
me moment quizzicially and scratched
his head Then turning to Pompey, he
raised himself to his full height aud said;
"Pompey, know you stole them hams,
but by the ingenuity of your lawyer I've
got to let you go, Git out, said he as he
planted his No. 10 in the seat Of Pompey'i
pants, and don't ever come here again
lawyer or no lawyer, you will git six
months"