The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1890-10-23
WIT AND HUMOR.

1t is poor scheme to cultivate pa
thence by narrowing thoughts.-Drdke's
Magazine.
This umbrella of mine is unique, l
think" '.Ah, bought it, did your
N Y. San.
We'll. doctor. how do you find our
beefsteak?" Very small for its age"
-Ftiegende Batter.
Love is blind, but lovers often make
pair of spectacles of themselves
Great harrington MeUs.
You can generally get point on in
sect life by making yourself familiar
with the bee.-Ieras Siftings.
1t is probably called organized la
Dor" because it is disorganized so often
by strikes. -TorristoWn Herald.
The beauty in amateur theatricals
lies in their realism-there is seldom
any acting in them.-Elmira Gazette.
Maddox-''The faith cure has reach
ed Chicago" Gazzam-'.Have they
tried it on their hams yet?"-West
Shore.
1t is better to wear out than to rust
out; but men are good deal like their
coats; when worn out they get rusty.
Puck.
After all, the only way to profit by
the experience of others aud avoid
their troubles is to die young.-Atchs-
son Globe.
MY nerves are fairly shattered"
That's good. Now throw away the
pieces and you'll be all right. "-Har-
per's Bazar.
1t is good policy to tell the truth,
because if you don't you can't expect
to be believed when you tell a lie
Burlington Free Press.
Speak no evil of the absent; that is
cowardly. Likewise. speak no evil of
the present; you might get licked
Indianapolis Journal.
Gagg-"I like Frankleigh for one
thing; when he doesn't know thing
he says So" Waggs-'I should think
he could talk forever. "-Judge.
A youthful reader" wastes a two
cent stamp to inform us that the best
kind of paper to makes kites of is fly
paper.-Binghamton Republican.
Teacher-"Why did Caesar hesitate
on the banks of the Rubicon" Bad
because he didn't have any
bathing suit. "-Hdrper's Bazaar.
.How is it that Dumley and Fumley,
who used to be such close friends, are
now enemiesp" They started to room
together. "-LaUresce advertiser.
First Tradesman-.Is he a gentle
man?" Second Tradesman-"Well, l
suppose so. He doesn't pay his debts
till you make him do so."-Puck
Have you a typewriter" Yes"
What kind?" Red haired and
freckled. They do better work than
Recamier blondes IN. Y Herald.
An empty pocketbook is mans
most constant friend. Others may
grow cold. but he will find no change
in the purse-Great harrington NeWs.
1T is always best to lie on the right
side" remarked the stump speaker
when he heard of the election of the
man he had been advocating-7eras
Sittings.
Sergeant drilling squad Of. raw re-
cruits) What you must never forget.
is that immobiiity is the most beauti-
full movement of military exercise. "
Courier DIES Etdts Unis.
Practical Girl from the WesD-
How could you say Amen to that
first prayers" Boston Girl-'O, l
was indorsing the literary form. not
the sentiment. life.
There doesn't seem to be any point
to this joke" said the funny mans
wife; why did you print it?" The
managing editor got it off, " replied the
humorist sadly.-Brooklyn Life.
notwithstanding to hear the lee
tMe tonight on The Young Women
of To-day3" Yabsley-"Guess not.
The young woman of tonight is more
interesting to me. "-Terre Haute En-
press.
Il like this clock" said customer
to the jeweler, land think I'll take it.
But does it striker" mo, SIR" Then
it won't do. for Pm a walking dele
gate. Show me one that will."-
Epoch.
Mr.. Whitney House (pointing to
young Clarence Verisopht and his girD
1.-Two souls with but single
thought" Mr.. Chauncey Lake (cyni-
callv) (Which has it?"- Westborough
Tribune
Mr.. Boggles has a fine turnout"
remarked young man to friend who
has endeavored to be attentive to Miss
Boggles. Yes" was the reply; ''he
has. l experienced it last night
Washington Post.
$50 the landlord has gone mad. you
ys sod asey t9 Bas e da h to
show it plainly?" Certainly. he had
lowered the rent of every fiat. Cur
rier DIES Etats- UniS.
Knowitt-"Tm pretty we'll posted,
let me tell you. l really find it bur-
den to carry around what 1 know"
Bronson-''H'm! It's lucky for you
that you don't have to carry around
what you don't know."-Light.
Newport Belize. those naval Of
ficers are too sweet for anything. Did
YOU ever lunch on a man-of-war?"
Narragansett Belle-s.No, but ! saw a
young Lieutenant to-day who looked
good enough to eat. IN Y. Weekly.
There has been a great deal of fun
made of Simple Simon" because he
went fishing in a pail; and yet some
of the modern sportsmen seem 10 find
a great deal of satisfaction in merely a
rod and line and a jug Washington
Post.
Hostess Dear me, the converse
tion is tagging. What can we do to
amuse our guests?" Host-'I don't
know, unless we leave the drawing
room for a few minutes and give them
chance to talk about US. IN. y
San.
Edith-''Miss Oldboy has gone to
Shelter Island for fortnight. 1t is on
the ocean, isn't it?" George-..No.
not exactly-it's on an arm of the sea. "
Ethel-"And l suppose she wanted to
have an arm of the sea about her. -
Munseys Weekly.
She-"Now We are married, Tom,
you might give up smoking, for my