Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-09-14
JOHN BULLS WAYS.
Little Eccentricities in Births, Mar
riages and Funerals.
BABY'S DIMPLES ARE ITS CURSE.
Annoyances Which the Lover Must Endure
in Winning o Bride.
The NOTICES IN THE NEWSPAPERS
CORRESPONDENCE OF THE DISPATCH !

| CORRESPONDENCE OF THE DIsPATCH.1
LONDON, September 6.-The average
American tourist has little time and less op-
portunity for the study OF the peculiarities
of his British brother. You must live a
year or two with John Bull to know him,
and when you do come across his points and
curves and the spots on him what a remark
able individual, malely and femalely, he is
| to be surel
| The middle class, that vast army Of ofpeopls
which is termed 'genteel" in this country. is
the most representative of the British na-
tion; and SO 1 am going to give a glimpse
here and there of some Of the ways of that
species of Englishmen. He-and in what
am now saying she" must be regarded as
generally inclusive Of Ssh" he"-manages to be
born in the manner customary to babies of
all nations, but once he has accomplished
this first and most important step toward his
life, be, or rather his mother, does her best
to induce MIN to retire from the scene Of ex-
istence, by covering him with a scantiness
of clothing similar to that which is regarded
as full dress in Fiji. 1 have at times shiy-
cred in sympathy with these infant Brit
ishers lying in the laps of their mothers
with nothing to shield their poor little legs
and thighs from the chilly blasts, but an
abbreviated skirt and pair Of very short
socks. Their tiny shoulders are as decollete
as British peeress at one of Queen Vic
toria's drawing rooms, and the object of all
this infant business is to exhibit poor baby's
fat and dlmples.
GOING A wooING.
However, the British baby grows into a
man. and then comes the time when he goes
a-wooing. He shows his preference for the
Young woman of mis- choice in a sufficiently
marked manner for all the members of her
| family to be aware Of his admiration, who,
however, feign not to perceive it. He then
has to continue his attention in a round
about way by all kinds of eivilities to the
| family. He gives the mother a majolica
vase, plays and loses sixpennye points at
ecarte with the girls father, invites her big
brother to dine and bestows liberal packages
of candy, plenty of peg tops and many
shillings on small brothers and sisters. Dur
| ing all this time, some six months of proba-
ton, he only gets furtive chances OF con-
| tinuing his courtship of the girl. at last
be is accepted on familiar terms by the fam
| ily and then be Is occasionally left alone for
half an hour or so with the young lady but
| "only by accident"
Then he plucks up courage, watches his
opportunity, proposes, and is either re-
| ieeted or accepted. Ii the latter fate is his
a good time begins for the family, for of
course he has to take his betrothed to
theaters and concerts and other places of
amusement, but he is never allowed to take
her alone. This, Of course, involves double
expense, and one of the causes of the many
| long engagements usual in middle-class
English life is the difficulty lover has in
saving any money while he is performing
his betrothal duties.
| AND WHEN HE DIES.
Well, in due course he gets married and
| lives happily or the reverse, as the case may
be, and then he dies, and in this final act
he once more asserts himself as Britisher.
He is not iced; indeed, ice is almost un-
known in the English domestic circle, but
| he is left for three or four days with the
sheet drawn over his face while everybody
| in the house is hushed and on tip-toe. Then
the coffin arrives and the deceased, attired
| in a shroud, is placed within it by the un-
| dertaker, the immediate family only taking
a farewell glance at his features before the
| lid is screwed down. Even the oldest
| friend seldom ventures to ask for farewell
| glance at his familiar crony.
The funeral generally occurs a week after
death. Only very near relatives of the male
sex are invited to the tuDeral-friends can
| 90 to the churcn or the cemetery if thev feel
| like doing so, but it is not expected and it
| is regarded as very bad taste for a woman to
| follow the coffin to the grave, even though
| she be mother, sister or wife. D. late years
streaming hat bands, scarfs and other un-
dertakers' emblems have disappeared, and
the open hearse, such as is customary in
| America, is used.
UTILIZING THE sCARFs.
It is customary for mourners to receive
| the scarfs. hat bands and gloves used at the
| funeral as gifts, and when this kind of
| funerals were common, an invitation was
regarded with some pleasure by the ladies
| of a family, as the husband, father or
brother invited was sure to return with
enough rich black silk to make bodice or
| even dress skirt. A lady who was telling
me of this custom said that Is years ago her
! three brothers went to so many funerals OF
| friends and distant relations, that she was
able to have two magnificent black silk
| dresses made out of the scarfs, land have
! not worn them out yet, she added.
In births. marriages and deaths alike 1t is
| custonary for the Englishman to take the
rest of his countryinen and eountrywomen
| into his confidence. His arrival on the
earth is announced in paid notices in halt
dozen morning and evening papers, as fol-
lows:
BoDK1Ss-On the 9th instant. att Darlington
road Brixton, the wife of Horace BodkIns B.
A., Of ! son.
1t is the "wife of and never "Mrs Bod
kins;" and the potice is inserted just az
widely and prominently if the little stranger
happens to be born without breath. Then
arrive every description o! advertisement,
boxes of baby food which will infallIbly fat
ten the little stranger and induce the most
robust health, patent feeding bottles, baths,
nursery pins and other articles of babydom
sufficient to stock a small store and very
often of such a nature as to embarrass Q
modest young couple.
THE MARRIAGE NOTICE.
A marriage notice appears In the same
column and Just under the births, and it is
on such an OCCASION that the middle class
Britisher gets in few facts about his
family tree, and that of his bride, and the
number OF clergvmen it took to marry him,
for instance:
sSoDeRAss-On the 9th inst, at All Saints
Paddlngton by the Rev. Granville Jones vicar,
assisted by the Rev. Henry William Snodgrass.
cousin of the bridegroom. and the Rev. Henry
Budleigh, brother-ln-law of the bride, George
Henry Wilcox Snodgrass, Captain East Kent
Regiment son of the late Charles Wilcox Snod-
grass, ESQ.,, solicitor. second cousin of Sir
Henry Leigh, Baronet. formerly Lord Mayor of
London, to Mabel Maud, only daughter of
Major George Arthur Smith. formerly Kings
Own Militia, and grandson Of the Rt. Rev. The
Lord Bishop of Toronto. No cards.
A death notice in England is similar to
the American, except that no memorlam
verses are permitted; but a good deal of