St. Landry democrat., 1890-09-13

when the ground Is dry enough, SPauo IL
well. Use sparingly, If any, the strong
heterogeneous manures.
The Colonels Fee.
HE EARNED UNDER CONDITIONS PECULIAR
EvEN FOR A LAWYER.
There lives IN one of the finest counties
of kentucky an arlstocratic old gentleman,
who, though brave at the time OF physical
trouble, has never succeeded in summon
ing sufficient courage to shove him into the
recklessness of paying debt. Like most
men that are loose in money matters, b. is
of exceedingly cheerful disposition, and
has been known to invite bill collector
into the room which he termed ''the holy
of holies," derived from the fact that the
Colonel kept his liquors there and regale
him with bourbon that had attained great
age. But he would not pay the bill.
Once the Colonel was in debt to a grocer
that lived in neigh bo7lng village. he
must have been newcomer, for none OF
the '.old -tmers" would trust the old gem
tleman. One morning, just after the Col
onel had taken his third julep and sat down
on the gallery to smoke. the grocer came
to the gate and shouted "halloa y
"Get down and come right in, sab, the
Colonel called, getting up and cordially
advancing to meet the visitor.
81 am delighted to see you this bright
morning" said the host when he had shown
the grocer into the house
You don't know me, | reckon" the
grocer responded, giving the old man
peculiar look out of his keen eyes of trade.
80, most assuredly. You are the
grocer"
you bat. Did yoa get that bill-or,
rather, them twenty bills-1 sent your
IL presume so, but cannot say positively
who sent them. | get so many favors OF
the kind that hardly know whence they
come. Let US go into the holy Of holes
"No, reckon not. | have hesrp of that
Ticker room an about you gittin folks
drunk that 60 in thar, but I've never hearn
that man what did go In thar ever got
the money comm to him. I'm man OF
business an want my money without any
palarverin' Do you understand 7"
Perfectly, sab, and | can not blame
YOU. Business can not be operated without
money"
But are you going to pay me p
81 can't pay you now
"M hen can you 2"
Lets see this Is the tenth OF the
month, amt it p
"That's what it is %
"Ah, ha, and tomorrow will be the
eleventh."
"Thats the size of it +"
We'll, you come round between the
eleventh and the first of next month"
"Will you pay me then?'
"No, don't think | shall"
"Then what's the use of my comm r
"None that can see. Didn't know but
you might be more wi ling to go into the
holy of holes By that time
mot much What l want is my money,
and I'm goin' to have it or know the reason
why"
Il don't mind giving you the reason
The reason appears to be that you II Dot
have the money. Now look here have
always made it point to look with favor
on the methods of life established by
other men, You have your rules and l
have mine. but because our rules differ 1t
is no reason for Us to fall out. One OF
your rules is to collect everv cent due you
All right One of my rules is not to
pay cent. All right"
s'No, it's not all right-you bet your
| life it amt. You've simply got to pony
| up"
"No, thank you: By the way, how
much do owe you p
"Ten dollars
ga beggarly sum-,
"Why don't you pay it. then p -,
because don't pay beggarly sums .
You'll pay this one"
Possibly. By the way again, let me
give you piece of advice with regard to
that bill. Shall I?'
Eyes"
"Well, then, sue me-"
| OH do it E: you bet your life on that.
The grocer brought suit. The Colonel
promptly appeared. The case went to
trial and the grocer got judgment for
seven dollars,
81 want my money now said the
| grocer.
"And I want mine" the Colonel re
piled. =,
YOURS / don't owe you anything,
80, yes. You see," the old man added,
"The courts many years ago granted me
licence as LAWYER, and I'll be hanged II
,ou haven't given me my first case. Herr
is the license
"Why, haven't given you case
80, yes : l advised you to sue me ano
you did so. My fee is ten dollars"
"Mr. Billings" said the Judge land ne II.
also owed the grocer. "You will have to
pay the amount"
He did so, closed his store, shot sne
| Judges COW and ran aWay.-Af@""S""
IrdUeter