Evening journal., 1890-03-06
ADONIRAM'S HAIR.

kinder snowy and kinder spirited lookin'-but
Adoniram he dctested it. He was always
sayn' suthin' silly, like he'd give $50 fur to
hev IL changed 90 black; and if any one hol-
Tered "Fireln while he wus round he'd take
it into his head twus personal, and ! had to
hold him by his coattails to keep him from
fyin' at 'om. Once he did You see, he'd put
a cigar into his coat pocket without bein'
careful about putin it out, and he was
smolSin' like a chimbly, so they told me- the
blue rings risin' right over his head, and
somebody says behind us;
"Hullo young fellow you'll be in a blaze,
next you lnowm and that time the fiery mater
that belongs TO red haired folksg got the best of
Adonraln, aud he wheeled around like a flash.
''None of your nsultin' allusonsn says he,
and hit out at him.
The stranger wus a real big gentleman, and
his fists wus like hams, and he doubled em
tight, and the next | knew Adoniram wus
sottin' on the PAWN stones lool1n' surprised,
and perlice came and investigated matters
When Adonram found out that he really
was afire-by this time his linen coat was
blazn'-he apologized free and open hearted
to the strange gentleman, and he took it quite
amiable and wanted Adoniram to go and
drink suthin or other. Adoniram had to beg
to be excused, being a Prohibitioner. But
the gentleman wouldn't excuse him-he took
it personal he should refuse-and it went to
Adoniram's head and | had 10 pay a man to
take him home in a wheelbarrer, his legs
hangin over one side and his head the other.
That was in the days Of our honeymoon, and
he couldn't be blamed for it, hayin' discovered
the strange gentleman was a prize fighter by
perfesson, and bein' anxious, for my sake, to
live.
Well, Adoniram did not pick so many quar-
rels after that, but he grew kinder mollon-
choly about it. Housed TO say that he couldn't
expect me fur to be true to anybody with
scarlet hair, and if / talked to black haired
folks he got jealous. 1t wus unreasonable Of
him, consderin' had told him twas his hair
fust took notion TO. But men air onrea-
sonable, seems to me, as a general thing.
suppose they air made so.
"Ef was to dye my hair, says Adonirnm
to me one day, don't you think I'd look
more kind Of pleasantf
"Since you ask me- Adoniram,n says /, II
must say, candid and serious, that my opin-
ion is you'd look like an idiot, and an idiot
carn't be pleasant to no well constituted
mind. Moreover, hev heerd that the nat
raj complexion agrees with the nat'ral hair,
which is why old gentlemen and old ladies
with mahogany colored heads looks more old
erly and decrepd than them that lets it git
/ gray. Besides says /, chair dyes is poisons,
and made of lead and sulpher and such
things, and why should a man with fine
head Of gold red hair want TO get rid of itlh
Amanda Ann, says he, his voice trem
blin', 81 feel red hair TO be a affection, and ei
there wus bottle Of hair dye in the house al
| present / should use it.n
He said this as we wus walSin' along th,
high street shoppin' fur our Sunday victuals
and Jest then man a-standin' on the corner
stuck sirkylar into his hand and another
into mine It's nat'ral TO read a sirkylai
when it is given to you, and as we walkeC
along arm in arm, the big marlSit basket or
his elber, the little one on mine, we peruseC
them. This is what mine said;
M. Magnolia, the celebrated electrician
has at last discovered a hair dye free from
all the obnoxious qualities all others possess
Having prepared fluid for electric pur
poses, he by accident dropped some Of i
upon his snowy locks, bleached by study anC
devotion TO science rather than by time
Looking a little while afterward into tn
glass, he became aware that where the tiui,
had fallen his tresses had recovered the hui
OF early youth. Instantly he applied it t,
his whole head and presented himself TO hi
wife, who burst into tears Of joy, and tearing
of her cap, cried: Il also, so desire to b
young againp Subsequently this elderll
couple were mistaken for their granddaughte
and her husband by many relatives Friend
rushed TO the studio Of NJ Magnolia, stran
gers llnelt to him imploring the secret, and a
last he has been persuaded to give it to til
world at the merely nominal price of 81
/ Il IL Tai
other All else is delusion and a snaren
! ~ want to know if you ever didr say
Adoniram. ''You know there can't be n
p'ison into electricity. reckon III get som
bottlesn
a "Fur all know it might 60 of and &C
! like lightning some day. says l. II Nigh
, come to meet you with lovin' kiss and z,
4 struck dead. says /, "or all frizzled upr
- always wus a person that looked int
things. This here wus in the remote past {
q the antiquity Of these here United State
a when they hadn't no electric lights to bur
a folks up with yet, but only tallygrams an
"a cablegratfs which they had recently eel
e brated; but my thoughts progressed int
/ futurity and kinder felt impressed.
! Well, Adoniram didn't say no more, but
noticed that he folded the sirkylar quit
" keerful and put it into his pocket, and fur
. spell expected him to come down to breal
y fast some day dyed black, but he didn't, an
forgot the sirkylars and began to belle,
, that Adoniram wus gettin' contented wit
ID his hair, and showin' some common sense ,
!. last.
II wus jest about year from our weddi
day that the minister's donation party can
y oil. We had heard good deal of laughi
G. and sneerin' as to how donation parties WI
II managed, and we meant ourn should be
AZ very different kind Of thing. Our past
should feel to rejoice he had one give to hin
SO he did. We got tea on the lawn. and v
brought all the good things, and quarts an
pounds to spare, and the gifts wus lovely. an
the hull family pleased and compliments
IA Adoniram, he had to 90 to town to get
handsome lamp he meant to give the paste
er and couldn't be in to tea, but said he'd con
v after and be there for the evening. It didr
49, seem right without him, aud when tea "
gh over and he hadn't come felt low spirite
81 There wus a crowd in the house and on Il
ne lawn, and sometimes l imagined he hadf
u found ine and wus there. When went in
no the parlor and saw a splendid new Ian
burning on the table, with his name on
(, card tied toit, began to think he wus lidii
Of 70 tease me. He did play jokes row and the