The Press., 1890-12-25
THE OAK AND THE VINE.

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 Me an my wife is ben a-havin' it up an down today. Sometimes she thinks she's got the better of me, and, of course, have to try an make some kind of a show in, for 'taint never goin' to do to let ont you hain't as. smart as yer wife-an' she woman. But l must say at she's got kinder smaller way O comin' 1t over me once in while, kind O quick, you know, but not right deep. You know how they be-.
 Wall, me n Elviry, we've talked enough to run windmill, guess about women sufferage.
 I can't bring myself to believe in it.
 In the first place, its agin natur. The law of natur is indicated right straieht along that women wasn't cut out with that breadth, that scope, you know, that men has got. The sect is inferior there hain,t no two ways about that Now, haint denyin' that they are good. They are aw- full good better than we be by long ways but, to use an old example, I've read lots of times about the vine an the oak-why, think myself it can't bs beat. The oak, you sec is big and grand and strong. It stan's mp as straight an firm, an bime-by real pretty, twinin' little vine comes creepin' up, and it grows all over that tree, and when the tree gets kind O old and bare an black, that purty, tender vines jes' droops and drapes and twines about it, and its purity flowers shine out, and altogether think it's awful nice. But Elviry, she's curus kind O critter. She don't seem 10 be the climbin' kind adzactly, an she says right prickly things sometimes. Now to-day, when we was a. talkin', she says: Say, look here, Ebe- nezer Jenks, seems to me its about time you let up on that old chestnut about the oak and vine business. Its so weak from age it needs to go to the home for the in- firm, and 1t never was strong. Now I'd just like to know which one is the oak in this house. 'Taint you, that's mighty certain !'' don't care about rilin' Elviry too much. You see, owin' to some little peculiarity of hern, the house was put in her name, n you know how kind O sassy women can be sometimes.
 I says, "Well, Elviry, I know I hain't as nigh as smart as some, but I am man, and kind O add dignity to the establish ment, you know, and 8 man is kind O necessary evil. Own up, now, ain't you glad you got me?"
 "You don't add dignity enough to the establishment to get justice done to the people in it; can tell you that, says she. ''It just makes me boil every time l pay my taxes. Before we were married you know you didn't have thing in the world. S'pose, perhaps, oaks don't have to accum- ulate. Anyhow, you didn't, n made up my mind that want going to marry at my age without house to cover my head, so took that school and taught it for four years, and you waiting for me all the time If they had paid me as they paid the men teachers they hired, should have been through in two years. They acknowl- edged me to be the best teacher they had had for ten years, and you know fitted several boys for college. We'll, married you, and with that money, had been four years instead of two earning, bought this home. To-day the tax collector was here, and I couldn't help but give him a piece of my mind. Says |: Look here, you oughtn't to tax me the full value of
 this property. am only woman.'
 "'Oh, well said he, with kind of in- |dulgent smile, 'that is immaterial. The law supposes the head of the house to be 6
 male'
 "'But, suppose was not married?'
 "'Well, said he, with kind of you re
 only woman air, you probably wouldn'
 have owned such home if you had beer
 single And he politely bowed himself , out. e. se- --'9, ',E.'
 "Now, for pure, upright, downright achydermatousnees, will acknowledge that you men carry off the palm. Int
 idea p And off she went grumbling te herself.
 Now, ain't no great shakes on arguin' an I thought perhaps you could give m' : point or two to kind O get ahead of he little. I can't just see adzactly wha , answer to make her, an it never will do t. just give up an let her think she has bea
 me.