The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1890-05-28
HUM0R OF THE DAY.

a marx OF respects
On racket-The tennis ball.
The last sad writes-Epitaphs
A well ordered life-A walters.
The "fower" that was ''born to blush
unseen" was probably wall-hower
A facetious dime museum proprietor
named his ossifed man "Bonaparte =
Washington Star.
Fifteen inmates have just been adj
mitted to the deaf and dumb asylum, and
"still' they come.-Lite.
No one rides on sheep therefore the
saddles of mutton are not put to their
proper use.-Ne,o York &eus.
johnny, what teacher are you under
most2' ''rhey all sit on me when they
get a chance. "-Nunsey s Weekly.
"What do you find is the first requisite
in business?" "Pluck,' returned the
dealer in live goose feathers Ba.ar.
A book he wrote
His bosom heaves
When critics quote:
Leaves naught but leaves"
-Harper's Bdzar.
lht nOlSt Cul COuOutlOE Is like q
pugilist, because he punches a great deal
and knocks down occasionally. - WASH
ingtOn Post.
"Do your boarders loaf around your
parlor in the evening" "No; my
daughter is learning to play on the piano"
Boston Courier.
He-"By the bye, talking of old
times, do you remember that occasion
when made such an awful ass of my
self2" She-''Which?"
An artist has just sold landscape for
S24, 900. 1t seems that an artists views
are getting to be worth as much as those
of lawyer Statesman.
They say love adds to young mems sighs.
If it be so, what then!
No single woman, who is wise,
Opposed is to Hymen.
Yankee Blade.
John Doe-'Are you carrying a mort
gage on your house2" Richard Doe
Eyes; and, strange to say, I'm carrying
it because l can't lift it."-B0ston Tran
script.
A man can now be cremated in Paris
for sixty cents. But the trouble is that
the man who has sixty cents isn't the
man who wants to be cremated. L. Y0R-
kers Statesman.
Little Boy-"And will you really be
be my wife," Little Glrl-"Really and
truly" "Then run home and get my
penknife for me, and hurry up about it,
too. ."-Ckatter.
"What dancing eyes she has" "Yes.
It's good the dancing stopped there, too.
If she's had dancing cheeks and trip
ping nose and "A waltzng lip, she'd have
been in hard luck. ."-Harper's Bazdr.
She q o'clock A. NJ, in desperation)-
81 like the Chicago young men best.
He Qrom st, Louis why yl-may
l ask" She (earnestly)-"They have
some 'go' to them. - Chicago Times.
"Oh, would were a birdr she sang
And each disguised one
Thought to himself this wicked thought:
'Oh, would were gum
Chicago Herald.
"By Georgeln said Hendrick Hudson,
as he entered New York harbor, "what
a beautiful scenel could stand here all
day and drink it in" ''Indeed you are
right, said his mate, ''it is most excel
lent port '-Hayper's Basar.
"Why do we call a handcuff brace
let?" asked the commissioner of an Irish
recruit at a recent police examination.
"Faith, bekase it is intended for artist,
replied the applicant, and he got the
position at once.-Je,oelerS Circular.
unit Coupon-''And now, George,
do you like the fine gold watch
you on your birthday" George
liked it pretty well, auntie. After
an Billy Smith got tired hearin' it
TEX we busted it open and took out der
works, Bills got der spring tied onto
his dog. It's bully dog, toon'-Je,0-