Mower County transcript., 1890-05-07
TELEoRAPHlo 6LuNpERs.
Funny Mistakes MNde by Absent Minded
KnlghtH Of tho Key,

Funny MtntNk0e Made ~ AOA0nt.NIinded
| Knlghta Of tho Key,
Itisn't meant to DO charged that the
majority Of kilograms or specials have
mistakesin them. Tho percentage Of
errors Is enthusiastically small, but the
errors that IRE made are funny md soon
get talked around among the boys. ..-
'Cog ut once, Big Bill tonight" was
. message delivered to lady visiting In
Kansas from her husband In noigh hbor-
ing CITY Of the same State. The awful
suspicion flashed upon her mind that
the Liquor law was being tlagrantly
violated in the Immediate vicinity Of
her husband. But who was "Big Bill?"
Was he some border outlaw? What was
the significance Of "cog" any way? AS
the last question occurred to her she
sought and consulted the pocket edition
Of a'dictionary. Tho definition Of 'cop"
was a terrible revelation. 1t read:
"Cog. The tooth OF a wheel; a trick;
to wheedlo; to cheat"
She nearly tainted with fright. Her
husband was undoubtedly in the tolls
In tho very teeth OF this villain, big
Ball." Her nervous prostitution was 20
complete that she could barely COM
municate tho particulars to male rela-
tives, who were started on the first train
to the rescue OF her husband. "Remem-
ber the clew," she said when they do
parted. III there has been foul play
remember Big BILL" The relatives, re-
turned next day with the husband and
the lucid explanation that the original
message written by him read: "Come at
once. Big ball tonight"
Agentleman who was not long since
stopping at one Of the principal hotels
in this city, dividing his time between
attending to the business which neces-
| STATED his presence in st. Louis and
bewailing the cruel fate which had tenn
porarily separated him from his young
wife Of two months standing, recalls
the hours Of anguish and uncertainty
which ensued upon the receipt of o
message from his wife, reading:
II have twins. Written you but ro-
ceived no reply. What is the matter?"
Since he has ascertained that she had
''twice written," ETC., he will regard
every yellow envelope with suspicion.
just imagine, If you can, the feelings
OF rather high-Aown newspaper corre-
spondent who, after telegraphing to his
newspaper a description of condemned
wife-murderer's last night on earth,
read in the paper when he received it
that
'He tossed restlessly about, and from
his mutterings it was apparent to all
| hot hn l.; 80 l.;
him."
This came from the telegraph Office
and passed in some incomprehensible
way; perhaps 'spirits" were at fault
with the telegraph editor, compositor
and proof-reader successfully. But it
is not likely any one has been moro
disgusted with the uncertainties Of dots
and dashes than young st. Louis tele-
grapher who had never visited Chicago,
who, after reading the name of the
famous hosiery of that city conducted
by Potter Palmer as the "Pat Moore
House," has since been known by his
telegraphic acquaintances as pat" TO
tho utter exclusion of his more euphoni-
Gus patronymic, Eugene.
At small Office in the interior of this
State the whole available force of mes
sengers hunted half day for man
named E. C. Lipse before it dawned
upon the brilliant mind of the operator
that it was intended for the Eclipse
newspaper Office. In like manner
Sale Mills was omitted from the postal
guide, but Salem, ILL.,, was there, and at
that place was also an infuriated man
.waiting for long-delayed answer to
his telegram. San Francisco Examiner.