The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1890-10-10
HONEST CARL DUNDER.
he Makes Journey to Buffalo to Got Ills
Eye-Teeth Cut.

Beant ibcnuall yesterday, as u cOrDulCnt
form darkcncd tho doorway of tho
Woodbridge Street Station, and he looked
up to see Carl Dundor walk in.
SIT vhas me, Sergeant"
Yes, | see. Where on earth havo
you been for tho last three mont hs?"
Sergeant, you know me for long
time"
eyes"
81 vhas some haysecds"
"Eo were
'"I-vhas SO shildlilre dot caferybody
shwindles me-
That's true"
"Nothings und nobody vhas twice
alike in dis country"
enc"
"You advise me to soak my head,
sandpapcr my neck, Slump in der rifer
or hang myself"
eyes, did"
"vcll, like to obligo you, because
you vhas my friendt, but l goes to Puff
falo instead. My brudor vhas in PuiIa-
10! All! sergeant that Puffalo vhas
great placc-a great place. Sooch sharp
peoples you meier saw. goes by my
bruder und take some lessons. Dat
vhas dor place to got some cye-teeth cut
out. Sergeant, look at mcr'
'Tm looking. You look like a differ
ont man from what You did. You've got
foxy look about the eyes, and nobody
would take you for a grconhorn now"
Sergeant, I vhas more ash ono fox
I wash four foxes. If anybody can beat
me now I like to SEQ him try it on.
doan' take ten tousand dollar for what |
learned in Puffalo.''
'Wcll, I'm glad OF it. What ails your
fingcr?"
''She yhas broke-ha! ha. ha"
"a joke them"
'Der biggest kind Of shollc. While
vhas in Cleveland der odder day Il
stranger comes oop to me und says Will
buy some photogra phs Of Garllcld's
tomb. ! hit him so queel1 ash light
ming und dot finger vhas broken"
"What did you hit him for?''
"Bccause he takes me for some hay
seed. Nobody has tomb until he vhas
dead"
"But Garfield is dead"
mot mooch. Doan' | see aboudt him
in der papers all der time. Doan' it say
dot he shall vetoc dot silver bill"
'That's Harrison! You have got tho
two mixed up!'
"fon doan' say mo! Was dot posi-
bic! Was it Zen Harrison who vhas
President, instead Of Ben Garficld?"
''Of course"
"Grcat scots! Und dot Teller vhas all
right, und almost Iii He'd him. If Gar
field vhas dead l doan' remember it.
Veil! vcll! | make oop for it, however"
.'How?"
Con der train I meet man who vhas
hard oop. lie takes me for sucker
He beliefs he can swindlc me like seek
ty. lie has a watch und wants to sell
him und get money to 90 by his mud
der's dying bcdstcad. lie asked me fifty
dollars"
And you paid it?"
mot mooch! Dot isn't the Puffalo
vhay. l offered him twcnty, und he
sheds some tears und says he Shall hat
to do it."
"Got it with you?r
"Ycs. Hcrc she vhas"
Got tired, SEQ. and stopped. Wheels
loose too. Silver plate on nickel
case. Worth five dollars bushcl when
the market isn't gluttcd. Mr.. Dunder,
It was swindle"
"Noa!"
Tie LOOK you IN and made fool of
you. What's III that packagc?'
"Some agency for Michigan. I buy
him in Puffalo."
ely screen, eh? Where does the
agency como in? Isn't it like any other
fly screen?"
"She was reversible, you see. I buy
der whole State agency for twenty-five
dollars"
rReversible? How?"
IVoy, if you hat dis side out dor flies
can't como in. If yon haf dis side
out der bugs und mosquitoes can't como
in"
"And he madc you believe THAR
"Belicf that! Can't see nit my two
eyes?"
Eyes, but look at that screen in the
window. Doesn't one side keep every
thing out You have been victimizcd
all around"
Sergeant" said Mr. Dundcr, as he
rose up, was | wictim?'
"Yes"
"Doan' know moro ash hay-stacls.
"Not much"
"vhas shust as green ash before
Aces to Pulfalo?"