Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-07-12
THE TOPICAL TALKER.
-An Tint Cover Are Not Tramps-
Thanks 20 n Railroad Compnny-The

-An Tint Cover Are Not Tramps-
Thanks 20 n Railroad Compnny-The
Commufer.
GNa certain small railroad In this Stats the
conductor of the passenger train, which
made the round trip from terminus to terminus
twice day earned q wonderful reputation for
himself by his gallantry to ladies and his feroc.
fty toward some men. His politeness to the fair
sex was invariable, but it was only to little men
that he was uncfvil Like many another fierce
fellow he knew that it was waste of time and
energy to bully big men. If an undersized
tramp tried to steal ride that conductor
threw him off the train as sure as eggs. Dead
beats of the larger size obtained more consid-
erato treatment. 1t is the way of the world.
To this day. no doubt that conductor would
have been ejecting his interiors and respecting
his superiors, if his companions in the service
of the Dotancarrywun Railroad had not soured
upon him, SO to speak. The brakemen did not
relish the overbearing behavior of their COM
manding officer; the baggagemaster rightly
considered that smashing and throwing of
anything or anybody from the train was his ex-
elusive perquisite. and the engineer aud fire.
man became anxious about the wholesale crop
OF il-will that the conductor was sowing along
the line. These malcontents put their heads
together and plotted. They plotted to some
purpose.
WHEN the conductor reached the baggage
car one evening, after making the regular
ticket-taking tour through the single PASSENGER
coach, he noticed a small man, extremely ike
o secondhand scarecrow, crouching In one cor.
ner. A milk can partly screened the tramp,for
such his rags, dirtiness and decrepitude pro-
claimed him, but the eagle eye Of the conductor
saw him at once.
oH Rn1rN haa
ness" said tho conductor sternly, preparatory
TO going into executive session. The individual
behind the milk can stirred not. neither did
murmur escape hts lips.
You haven't got q ticket, OF course" con.
tinued the conductor. turning back the cuffs OF
his II men shirt, for he was extremely natty In
such matters and when he did any bouncing"
liked to sa We his clothes. "Ybu haven't got
ticket, and you've walked don't know how
many 'steen miles, and yer mothers at deaths
door and all that" said the conductor In a
breath, but don't allow no measIy tramps to
come that game on me. You'll have to pay
your ia re or of this train you gor'
Still the bundle of rags be hind the milk can
showed no sign ofiife. The conductor pulled the
bell cord, and as the train began to slow down
she opened tho door Of the baggage car, and
walking over to the tramp took him by the
coat collar and pulled him out of the corner
I he train stopped, and the conductor, to accel-
crate the schedule gave the bundle OF rags
sharp kick. AT the same moment almost the
conductor gave a yell and jumped back. The
brakemen and the baggagemaster were in the
car, and the engineer and fireman were looking
in at the door, and tie passengers. half dozen
In number. were looking over the baggage
masters shoulders.
"Fire him, Bill" someone shouted to the
conductor. There was a doubt in the latter's
mind already, but he couldn't afford to enter
tain it. He approached the tramp, who seemed
to have grown several inches, and began to
push him toward the open door at the side Of
the car. Suddenly the tramp wheeled around
and large bunch of knuckles danced between
the conductors eyes. while another fist collided
violently with his neck. A straight left-hander
under the chin sent the conductor into the
arms of the baggagemaster. who kindly let
him drop upon the floor The tramp borrowed
the engineers plug bit off a square chew. and
said he guessed there was nothing more for
him to do. The train started up, but the con-
ductor did not He lay in the baggage car and
meaned, as well he might for he had stood up
for one round with Jimmy the Kid-the heftiest
middle-weightin in Pennsylvania.
Who procured the services Of the illustrious
Jimmy, who never used his fists for fun, it
would be gross breach of confidence to say.
7 asst week tender little remonstrance was
made in this column against the free all
night concerts which the Pittsburg and Lake
Erie Railroad had been giving to the happy in
habitants of the Sewickley valley. Much to
the regret of those who passionately fond
of continuous locomotive whistling as lullaby,
but to the great joy of the many who do not
like such music, the P. & L. E. locomotives
have ceased to tax the echo-giying powers Of
the river cliffs between Stoop's Ferry and
Shousetown and night in the Sewickley valley
has become once more season OF silence and
repose.
If there is anything in the sh ape OF a testi-
monial, silver service or an engrossed vote Of
thanks, that the gentlem an and scholar who
effected this reform would like. the relieved
citizens of Sewickley would be charmed to ex-
tend it to him. The desire Of one grateful
Sewlckleyan is that the reformer, If he be
superintendent of the road, may soon become
president. and If he be president now. that he
may control a majority of the stock for the rest
of his natural days.