Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1890-06-01

i've got large-size kick coming, that's
what l have" said an old veteran Grand
Army man Friday evening as he boarded
J street summer car and dropped into
one of the rear seats. He looked as though
he meant it, too.
whats the trouble?i asked the repor-
ter, who happened to overhear the remark.
Trouble! Whv, there's trouble enough,
an I'm kicking" and the old wet"
turned around and faced the reporter with
ferocious CLEAN in the one eye he was the
sole possessor of.
"Tell me about it. Maybe 1 can console
you" suggested The scribe in his own pecu-
liar irresistible way.
Console be hanged, don't want any
consolation. I'm just kicking, and kick
ing hard. too, and don't propose to stop
Kicking elther-and what's more don't
want it spoiled by any of your consola-
ton"
well. you can tell me what you are
kicking about?"
| "Yes, | can do that" said the old war
! rior, refiectively. "The kick is this: |
| have always been led to believe that Deco
ration Day was sort of general public
| funeral Cay, when the survivors of the war
turned out to drop tear or two upon the
graves of their dead comrades It's not a
picnic day nor Fourth of July celebra.
ton, and it's no day for unusual hilarity.
Ii 1t is, | never knew it before Well,
when we were getting ready to start in the
procession to day, fixed my face up with
| the usual solemn funeral, Decoration Day
| GYnrpSSIOn and
march to the cemetery Naturally I was
a little surprised when, after the Grand
| Marshal gave the order to march, the band
struck regular Fourth of July march, and
| walized us over to the cemetery in siep
| with similar airs. At the cemetery they
| did condescend to play little funeral
music and | forgave them. Then the
order to march home was given, and this
time was completely floored by the au-
dacity of that Artillery Band. Just inn
agine US old, one-armed, one-legged, one
| eyed fellows, with our tear stained faces
and heavy hearts, galloping home from the
| city OF our dead to the strains of 'Razzle
Dazzle Where Did You Get That Hal. ,
'Chippy Get Your Hair Cut and Annie
| Rooney. But that's what we had to do.
| That darned band just whooped it up all
| the way home. Do you wonder that I'm
kicking?"
Funny man-"Say, Jones, why should
Germany be the greatest cattle country in
| the world?"
Jones-"Why?
F. M-"Because it's the Fo6derland."
Chorus Hal Ha Hal"
Police Captain Lee thinks that his de-
partment should be more thoroughly
equipped.
| The other evening during ride on the
cars he told his troubles 10 reporter.
What we need above all other things is
an ambulance or patrol wagon" he said.
| "A patrol wagon for the police department
| would be equal to six more policemen. l
have been fighting for two years for a
patrol system and system of signal
boxes, but in vain. I'll wager that there
is not another city in the Union of Sacra-
| mento's size and importance that is so
poorly equipped in this regard as we are.
1t we could just get patrol wagon we
would be satisfied. We could get along
| for while without the signal boxes. but
we are dreadfully handicapped without a
| wagon. Wounded persons who have to be
\ brought to the hospital suffer untold ago.
MES by being bounced over the cobble-
| stones IN an express wagon, and when a
| squad of police are wanted in hurry at
| some particular point we have no way of
| getting them there, except to 'hoof it. The
Trustees ought to look at this matter in
its proper light"
Two ladies occupied a seat near the fare.
box, and one was telling a story about
olives.
She said that Winters, of the New York
Tribune, in 'criticising the late Matthew Ar
mold, said: "Of course, there are people
who don't relish Arnold. It's like learning
to eat olives. It's an acquired TASTE"
YES" interrupted the other lady, that
reminds me of my impressions of Rhea the
other evening at the Metropolitan. 1t
seemed to me as if she had her pretty
mouth full of California olives"
On Decoration Day one of those tramp
or rather 'fake"-soldiers, who bob up on
all patriotic days with piece of blue in
their button holes Tor green if it be the
''Seventeenth''), was making the rounds of
the saloons to get rid of the collections he
had managed to make.
AS he passed from a Second-street Joint
to one on K street he was observed by two
members of Sumner Post, who were riding
on Carey car.
There's G. A. r. said one, pointing
his thumb over his shoulder in the direc-
ton of the tramp.
"oh, no." replied the other, "he's a