The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-02-01
BRIGHT BITS.

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MISS CALLER--I called on purpose to see your
dear little baby. Is il boy or a girl.
Mrs. Four Humid red-Why, Historically l
Shall have to ask the nurse Minneapolis
journal
SPEAKER REED is curiously enough the rotund
gentleman IN the capitol, in spite of the fact
that the capitol now possesses, and always mas
possessed a rotunda.-Nei0 Orh Commercial
-4dUsrtiSsr.
MANAGER--Why have you run our telegraph
lines round Philadelphia instead of directly
Assistant The authorities said it was against
the law to run anything through the city.-NetC
York Sun.
THAT is not more than half the compost
ton she said. as she turned on the piano stool.
Yes, he replied. abstractedly. 'pay the
rest By ali meaus: play all the rests you can
ind. Washington Post.
RooE AGENr.Here is that book, ma'am,
How to Play thSPano."
Lady Of the House-What book? l didn't or
der any book
Nom, but the neighbors did, and they told
me 70 bring 1t to you. Time
Mr. BRowNsToSE (of New York)-what's be-
come Of DE Curb?
Mr.. BArns (of Brooklyn)-He's gone west to
live.
Mr.. Brownstone--You don't say so! What
was he caught at?-Nslc York Weekly.
PAsroR-Mrs. Jones, have you ever reflected
that IN the course of time you, too must join
the silent majority?
Mr.. Jones-ThaJ's so, parSon: and | kinder
wish you'd impress Oh her That she ought to be
practicin' for it now. burlington Free Press
Mrs. STAYATHoME Ito Mrs. KnowitaIl, just re-
turned from Europe(-Did you see Irving in
Faust?
Mrs KnowitaIl-We we're only one dav in
Faust, and don't think Mr.. Irving was there at
the time. At least didn't see him.-TeIds
SJttHgs.
ScHooLMisTREss-To Tommy. what did you dis
Tommy-'Cos thought you'd whip me.
Schoolmisrress-Wha did you want me to
whip you for?
Tommy-'Cos pa said he would if you didn't
and he hurts.-Hdrpers Bazar
MOTHER Ito her old maid daughter)-Whv.
| Julia, what do you mean by using the family
Bible in that way? You are scratching out
| figures in the family record and inserting others
Julia-lt is record Of my birth, isn't its
ives, it is. "
"Well, I'm lowering the record. TEXAS Sift-
ings
SMIFKINs is stupidity and conceit rolled into
| one.
THAT mbecie," said someone, referring to
him, spends his time in trying to put the FOOLS
| cap on the heads of other people"
But how great a risk he runs, was the sar-
| castle reply, of catching cold himself. -
| Judge
mo STREE amt a-going to put nv name
| to every piece of paper l see around,'' said a
| stranger of the way back type standing in front
| of the register of one of the hotels. Some
| fellers know got took in that way onct and had
| ter buy nuf lightning rod ter build a railroad,
| and amt going ter sign nothin. '"-Philddel-
| phid Record
No DOUBT SHE WoULD-Mrs Regiere-If you
| have not seen the last number of the Century
| [sicl advise you to buy it, There is very
| good article on How the Other Half Lives
| Mrs. Guzzler (the better halD-I shall buy it
| directly. Why, | would give one hundred times
/ % cents to know how my "other half lives. "
| HdrUdrd Ldmpoon.
| THE FOLLOWING TELEGRAM was handed in at a
| station in Paris: Monsieur X, Rome: Over
| whelmed with grief; uncle dead; come at once:
| division next Thursday.
Operator-Makes two francs and forty
| Stranger latter fumbling in his pockets
| SoDriStr l have only two francs.
| Enploye-You can omit a few words.
| Very well; omit overwhelmed with grief "
| lie Figaro.