The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1890-07-10
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Inc RrOunu -uOoT-oaWuuSt.
A good buy-law-Collect on delivery.
A drawing -room-The dentists office.
A two-foot rule-Stand on your own
pins.
An old hame-The light Of other
days.
Do not think you can cultivate mans
acquaintance by giving him an occa-
sional dig.
The paper that says something mean
about you is never lost in the nails
Atchison Globe.
Poor Fishing.-First Boy-''Did you
catch anythingl" Second Boy-"Not
until got home. San Francisco Wasp.
One thing of Noah must be said
Nor will the truth be strained
Without doubt he knew enough
To go in when it rained.
Hay Press.
Bobby-"How did you manage to get
the bowl of cream2" Tommy -"Told
ma I saw the cat put her nose in it,
Epoch.
One of the healthiest professions in the
world is that of signing wills, Expectant
heirs will readily confirm this statement.
Puck.
When you come to consider the drunk
ard, there isn't much difference between
the ideal and the reel.-Binghomt0
Leader.
Do not try to take off your hat to a
woman on a rainy day; if she carries an
umbrella she will take it off for you
Boston Bulletin.
The men who become suddenly rich
remind us of the whales. They no sooner
get to the top than they commence blow
! ing.-States nan.
"Now, Johnny, you know what
noun is, do you2" "Yeth UNI. "'''What
is Jerusalem2" can ejaculation, num-"
-Harper's Bazaar.
The young man just out Of school ad.
vertises for "position;" but after six
months of hustling he is mighty glad to
get "job. Puck.
The latest distinguished horse on the
turf is named Semicolon. 1t must be
rather difficult to bring him to fuD
stop.-Boston Herald.
''All that's bright must fade,
The brightest still the feetest.S
All we wear is frayed
| Just when we would be neatesS
Puck.
Hostess Ito young Spriggins, NJ. D. -
CDR. Sprigoins, will YOU have some of
the tonguel" DR.. Spriggins absent
)-"Oh-cr-let me look at it,
please. y Chatter.
1t is nonsense to say that there is
nothing new under the sun. The man
who owns an ordinary fountain pea finds
some new trouble with it every week
Somerrilh Journal.
Polite Passenger-':Pardon me, sir!
Can sit down in this seatl" Old Sour
boutwell,, presume you can if you
try hard enough. I didn't have any
trouble. Boston Times.
She (enthusiastically)-''Oh, Georgel
don't you think the greatest JOY in life is
the pursuit of the good, the true and the
beautiful2' He-'sYou bet! that's why
I'm here tonight. "-Bwliagton FREQ
Press.
Little Ethel went to church with her
grandmother, and for the first time put
ten cents in the contribution plate.
Leaning over she whispered very audi
bly,, "That's all right, grandma! Ipaid
for two. "-Judge
One morning in garden bed
The onion and the carrot said
Unto parsley group:
ooh, when shall we three meet again,
In thunder, lightning, or in rainT'
Ia "Alasw exclaimed in tones of pain
The parsley-''In the soup"
Philadelphia Press.
The baseballists business is picking
up, the football players is rushing, the
eronaut's is in the air, the dry goods
sellers is rip-tearing, the hackman's is
driving, the washerwoman manages to
scrub along, and the bunco-man finds
plenty to edo. Puck.
The bucket shop known as "The
sockdolager" failed yesterday for the
seventeenth time this month. The cause
of the suspension is stated to have been
that customer was, by an oversight of
clerk, allowed to win $3.50, and de-
manded his money. Judge.