The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1890-11-25
PuNeENT PARAGRAPHS.

FAHA0kAHSS.
what the farmer wants-the earth.
Will = And wouldn't the dealer
trust Huston; such we'll known man.
too?" Bill-"1hat's the trouble - he's
too we'll known."-Yankee Blade.
Dom close Oh yohn looks putty
new, how dye git 'em?" "By de yahd
sames an one else" s.Humph! Sposes
you means de back yahd, doan yer?"--
Washington Post.
I've made my will, Joseph, and it
IS SO well drawn it can't be broken" "I
rejoice to hear that. uncle" ~ don't
know whether you do or not, Joseph. 1
haven't left you cent."-Harocr's
Bazaar.
Dom you think it extravagant,
Henry, to pay ten guineas for diamond
ring for your wifc?" Not ut all: YOU
seem to forget how much I shall save
ON her glovo ill."-Spare Moments.
-Doctor-"This is terrible fracture.
shall have to cut off tho arm close to
the shoulder" Tramp-"Whoopla Let
her go! l can't saw any wood then, can
L, doctorY'-Boston Herald.
-Teacher-"I hope you don't waste
any OF your spare moments, Tommy"
Iommy-"No. ma'am. l don't. During
my spare time this week, l have read
three novels in tho Bloody Bill Series"
Yankee Blade.
Whom a man wants to believe in
ghosts, and is ashamed to. he believes
in hypnotism. Many man who can
not control his own mind talks gravely
OF controlling tho minds of others
Atchison Globe.
In tho anitor's Room" $50 the land
lord has gono mad, you say?" 80, yes.
they took him to Bloomingdalo to-day"
But did he show it planly?" Ger
tainly, he had lowered tho rent of every
flat. '-Couricr des Etats-Unis.
-Grinand Barrett--"I went into the
barber shop just now to got combci, and
they charged me fifty cents. What do
you think of that?" Saysit Anyhowc-
II think tho fool and his money are
parted. Van Dorn's Ma azinc.
1t Was Worth Looking At.-"You
dashed this oil in an idle moment, | sup
pose" remarked the editor as he looked
at the manuscripts mo, sir; worked
at that for month" Indeed! I'll
give it careful consideration. Smith,
Gray & Co.'S Monthly.
Country Editor-''Jim, understand
that old stone building at tho cross
roads is to DO torn down" The Printer
Yep, they begin tomorrow" Coun-
try Editor-"Well, just slip around and
put 1.-Two toad in the wall. We must
have something to fill up with this
week. IN. Y. Weekly.
u called to see your father this af-
ternoon," remarked Charlie, as he took
seat in the parlor. Hester fluttered
visibly. Recovering herself with an
apparent effort, she said, simply; Ibid
you?" YES" replied Charlie. "He
has been owing our firm little bill for
some time. "-Washington Post.
1T is stated that man in California
has two pairs of ears. A wise provision
Of Providence, no doubt, to enable him
80 get tho worth of high-priced opera.
If this popularity should multiply in
his descendants it may be possible after
awhile for somebody to come out even
with tho telephone company. = RAMS
Horn.
-Caller-'Is there any thing moro
can do for your comfort, Mrs. Muggers?"
Mrs. Muggers very deaf and nearly
blind)--"Only ono thing. Wouldn't you
Introduce mo to some of the society
young ladies?" Callcr-"With pleasure.
No doubt thoy will he glad to DO of as
sistance." Mrs. Muggcrs-"Ycs, YOU
sec get tired Saying at home and I'm
very sure if they knew how am afflicted
they'd be glad to tako mo on all their
little excursions, as chaperon." = Good
News