davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington critic., 1890-01-29
IT IS SHORTER Won.
1881 -
Me, too-Tom Platt.
800
Me-Platt.
IN HOLLAND.

Our course Jay up a smooth canal
Through tracts of velvet green,
And through the shades that wind'mills
And pasture lands between.
Inc klne had canvass on their backs
To temper Autumn's spite,
And everywhere there was an air
on comfort and delight.
My wife, dear phllosophlc soul
Saw here whereof to prate:
"Nain fools are we across the sea
TO boast our nobler stated
Go North or South or Rast or West
Or wheresoe'er You please,
You shall not find what's here combined
Equality and ease!
How tidy are these honest homes
In every part and nook
The menfolk wear a prosperous air,
The women happy look,
Seeing the peace that smiles around,
would our land were such
Think as y0" may, ~ free TO say,
would we were the Dutch"
Just then We overlook a boat
tThc Golden Tulip highO-
Big with the weight of motley freight;
IL was a goodly sight,
heynheer van Blarcom sat ON deck,
With pipe in lordly pose,
And With his son of twenty-one
lie played at dommoes.
Then quoth my wife: "How fair to see
This sturdy, honest man
peguile all pain and lust OF gain
With whatso joys he can;
Mcthinks his spouse is down below
Beading kerchief gay
A babe, mnyhap, lOls In her lap
In the good old MILKY Way.
"Where ia the land from whence we came
Is there content like this
Whore such disdain of sordid gain
Such sweet, domestic blssg
A hOmespun woman !, this land
Delights me OYcrmuCh--
Think as gOu will and argue still
Ike the honest Dutch'
And then my wife made end of speech
Her voice stuck In hor throat.
For, swinging around the turn, we found
what motor moved the boat;
Hitched up In tOwpath harness there
Was neither horse nor cow,
But the buXom frame of q Hollandische
dame
Meynheer van Dlareom's frau.
-Hageae Fisfd.
The Washington critic., 1890-01-29


Mr., Vest, in the Senate, engaged in a
fierce contest with the grammar and tore 1t
page from page. "What ! mean TO say"
he exclaimed, sis that ] have heard no
claim from any State here urged with such
pertinacity as to make it bone of conten-
tion that this money ought to be refnndedr'
Years ago, in Cheyenne, there was a terri
Bile dispute about point of grammar, one
party claiming that IL done it" was cor
rect, and the other contonding that it
should he 81 have did it, The decision
was left to tall professor, with seven re-
yolyers and porcuplne beard who
promptly declared that anybody who said
81 have did it' was liar. ''Are you
grammarian?" asked an opposing member
of this society for the promotion OF pure
English. "No, by shouted the pro-
fcssor, ''l'm a Missourlanr
The State of Washington showed her
PAGES in the Senate yesterday, being driven
by Mr.. Squire and Mr.. Allen in turn. The
State of Washington doesn't want much --
only the Nook, Sachk River improved lit
might be spelled differently, an appropriu-
channel, military road along the straits
of san Juan De Fuca, railway through
the Puyallup Indian reservation, an appro-
pristion for clearing with q combY) the
Palouse River, an appropriation for the re-
mOyal of bar the prohibltlonists must be
behind this modest rcquesD from the Co
lumbia River, legislation In regard to the
claim OF William Packard 10 vein Of coal
In the Cascade Mountains, an appropria-
tion Of 5000 for the Improvement OF the
Nasel, Willipa and North rivers, the grant
Of certain lands withheld from sale by the
Secretary of the Interior, an appropriation
for the examination aud survey of Gray's
River, Deep River, Crooked Creek and
Sltamakawu River, donation OF Land for
the purpose of establishing fish hatchery,
an appropriation of $4,000 for experiment
in artesian wells, commission to inyosti-
gate certain losses sustained by citizens by
reason Of Indian hostilities IN 1855 aud 1866
and the retirement Of Aaior-G eneral II. II.
Milroy. Such moderation should be re-
The Washington critic., 1890-01-29
JUDGE NICHOLAS GENEROSITY.

'Yes,f said Major Ben. Butterworth to-
day, 81 knew the late Judge Nicholas Long
worth well. Hewas constantly doing some
generous act in hearty, whole-souled way
that added grace to the gift For instance,
he met Matt Morgan, the artist, one cold
day when that child of genius was suffer
ing from what the theatrical people call a
fall of snow in the box-ofilce. Matt had
no overcoat on. Judge Longworth mo-
ticed IT,
"'Wheres your oyercoat, Matt?' he In
quired.
"'I haven't got any, said Matt.
Here, take mine,' said the Judge, taxi
ing his own, a costly and elegant affair
richly trimmed with fur. And Matt had to
take the coat, as Longworth wouldn't take
refusal. This was characteristic of him. y
The Washington critic., 1890-01-29
DOING BUSINESS QUICKLY.

DOING BUSINESS QUTCKLY.
II is remarked that no Congress
within the memory of living man has
transacted so much public business
within the same time as has the present
one. Less than two months ago Con
gress convened, and two weeks were
lost in the holidays and another week
in other adjournments over from one
TO three days at time in this brief
period Congress has advanced in the
ransactiDg of business to point not
usually reached during the long session
of each term much, if ut oil, before the
first OF March. In other words, Con
gress is about n month ahead of the
average.
This pleasing state of affairs is due
to the steadiness with which the House
has stuck to business and the commend
able promptness with which the com
mittees dispose of the matters referred
to them, The people generally grow
very weary of the slow methods and
vexatious delays which too often pre-
vail in legislative bodies, and particu-
larly in Congress.
The Republicans especially are on
their mettle. They lost control of the
House in the election of 1882, after
gaining it at the previous election.
This was partly due to the wretched
factional quarrels among the Repub-
licans at that period, but it was due far
more to the recklessness and eXtrava-
gance of the House under the lead of
Kcifer in the chair and Robeson on the
door.
The Washington critic., 1890-01-29

Blair to abandon all side issues aud
give himself M entirely to his national
educational projects. In championing
Sunday rest legislation, too, he leaves
himself open to the distrust of those
who have believed in the profouudness
Of his educational viows. For II he
fully measured the effect of education
under the paternal care of the Govern
ment he would realize that universal
Sunday rest. rs virtuous custom.
must just MS surely follow as any of the
other benisons he foresccs.
Sunday rest, in the orthodox or perfect
sense, is no more possible than the sus-
pension of the world on It's axis. In
truth, II Is the busiest day of the week for
those who are strongest in their adj
vocacy of It, In this nerve-shattcred
commercial age laws for Sunday recrea-
tion would be more rational, more con
ducive to the sanitary condition, and
therefore more assuring to the virility of
the State. To enforce rest Is to make a
despotism of dogma. To induce il by
observance is the mission of religion.
To teach its benefits should be one of the
purposes of education. In those couu-
tries where education has attained its
highest development rest on the Sabbath
has became delight where once it was
a duty. In liberal. minded Germany no
one labors in the shops or fields. Only
absolutely necessary works and those
which contribute TO the happiness of
the many are carried on Tu Austria,
where the standard of enlightenment is
much lower, and also in France, where
one would think the restrictions of the
Roman Church should prevent, the
country people perform great deal Of
labor between their visitations to
church.
The most solemn demonstration of
what the school house and democracy
combined may accomplish in this di-
rcction is in Switzerland In this Ar
cadian republic, where one may attend
Catholic and Presbyterian services in
the same church on the same day, the
citizen remains in an almost perfectly
tranquil state on Sunday, though he
commits what might seem an excess to
some in holding his elections on that
day in the churches. What would we
Puritans think of such liberty. Yet
what grander ceremony could there be
than that of depositing the sacred voice
Of citizenship in the very bosom of the
altar? II is done silently, as one might
pray. And this is what popular cdu-
cation, founded on the textbooks of
the State, has done for the beautiful
little republic of the Alps. You may
travel the world over and find no where
else so peaceful Sabbath.
Keep to your national educational
scheme, Senator Blair! Its success will
completely solve the Sunday rest
problem, together with many other vex-
ing ones that beset our federate happi.
ness,
The Washington critic., 1890-01-29

AMONG THE GNNUMERABLE freak at
fractions Chicago can parade before
the European visitors to her Worlds
Fair is city owned and occupied and
governed by foreign vote
The Washington critic., 1890-01-29
eoop enrnn ron rnr enowLnn.


Dedf GroirioF. You seem to be an extremely
sensible sort of fellow. SO must catch you
np on something sou said yesterday In your
Invitation to readers OF TIE Carrie 10 send in
their growls you ask: Don't you think that
is better name CHE CRyrIcl than the
c0pa0tY If you don't. why you can kick
about that, II You like
That's Just the trouble: 10 is a better name.
Now, if that trio of bright men nov at the
helm had not changed the name there would
have been one fruitful cause the more for
growing.
Why don't somebody start column in op-
position to ycurs and calfit "The optimist,"
8" that We growlers oould vent >me of our
growlish spleen on him:
Seems TO me, those three men are starting
in in way that's going 10 leave us very little
to growl at. r, z. LEE LHRcH.
Washington, D. c., January 2s..
The Washington critic., 1890-01-29
wAsHINGToN. JANUARY aO. $50
To.NIGHTs ADJUSTMENTS.

AlbaUgh's Fifteenth and + streets -
Fanny Davenport in ala Tosca."
National, Pennsylvania avenue, near
Fourteenth strect--Francis Wilson in 'The
OOlah."
BV0u, Ninth street and Louisiana ave
Due--''The Fakir."
konm's Eleventh and c streets-Rentz
Santley Burlesque Company.
Globe, Pennsylvania avenue, near Eleventh
street--Variety.
The Washington critic., 1890-01-29

THE magazine philosophers who tell us
how to run newspapers might as well ad-
wise all writers of books to be Emersons.
The newspaper which would please the
magazine philosopher wouldn't find a single
metropolitan newsboy with audacity enough
to shout its name.
The Washington critic., 1890-01-29
WEATHER seERs.

The goosehone seer and he who pinned his
faith
To muskrat's habitatiOn,
Lie low while Boreas' snow-shroude1 wrath
Doth scatter devastation.
But IN fortnight, both will sally forth
Ard each WIN have his say,
They'll toreteil balmy breeze or blast from
north
On ground-hog'e day,
-HiRHtaPolis Tribune.
The Washington critic., 1890-01-29
WORD no SENAYOR mn

4 UORD TO SENATOR BLlIR.
Singleness of purpose IS the nub of
greatness and the spur to glory. This
is just as true Of the German sayant
who deyotes life to the coniugatlon of
a Greekverb as 1t is Of the ruler who
lives to conquer his neighbor. Hence
it is that TIE CRITIC urges Senator
The Washington critic., 1890-01-29

QUERY TO CoNGREss: Is it your in
tention 10 locate the Worlds Fair in the
United States or in Europe? Before
answering, please look up the Chicago
Ccnsns
The Washington critic., 1890-01-29

WHY NoT COME to the point at once
and make it penal ofrense to import
anything which is likely to lower the
prices of articles controlled by the great
American trusts?
The Washington critic., 1890-01-29

In HER HURRY to get into the Union,
Montana seems to have shut the door
upon her own coat-tails.
The Washington critic., 1890-01-29

Realistic dialogue from the Congressional
Howells:
Mr.. Blair-May ask the Senator ques-
ton?
Mr.. George-Not now.
Mr.. Blair-All right.
The Washington critic., 1890-01-29

CIHcAeo SHOULD get naturalized be
fore Congress puts her on the witness
stand as to her nationality.
The Washington critic., 1890-01-29

THE BosToN Post refers to the chairman
of the House Committee Oh Banking as
''Major Dorsey" This is cruel. That dis
tipguished warrior has been major geu-
eral in the Nebraska State militia. Every
postmaster in his district calls him Seen
eraln
The Washington critic., 1890-01-29

SEVERAL MEMBERS of the Cleveland,
Ohio, Council will soon visit Washing
ton. We ought to have our streets all
ripped up and blockadcd with debris,
so that these visiting gentlemen may
feel perfectly at home.
The Washington critic., 1890-01-29
IFS .iGED AY.Nr.

81 see Georgia woman died at l0a the
other day"
"That's nothing. | have an aunt still
living OF 1oen
"(iit uut''
''Fact- l22 street,
The Washington critic., 1890-01-29

cicnoy into the chaplains there is no rca.
son why his career as a reformer should
stop anywhere. He might even father
a constitutional amendn ent creating
efficiency and honesty in he Congress
of the United States.
The Washington critic., 1890-01-29

WHAT NEXT for Nellie Bly, Why, Il
submarine expedition for the recovery of
McGinty.
The Washington critic., 1890-01-29

REPRESENTATIVES, LEnLBACu of New Jcr-
sey says he was sent to Congress against his
wish. This ought to be looked into. If,n.
nocent citizens are to be snatched up and
hustled off to Congress without their con-
sent, what is the use of maintaining both a
Congress and lot of pcnitcntiaries?
The Washington critic., 1890-01-29

4 NEW CTSTOH INIEGURITED.
An OIL protrait of ex-President Grover
Cleveland, mounted in II gilt frame, is to be
hung mp In the White House at an early
date, An estimate of 5000 for the pro-
curing of it is contained IN the Treasury
estimates for the Executive branch in the
coming fiscal year, inserted probably at the
instance Of the Engineer officer in charge
of public buildings and grounds, who has
control over the arrangements of the White
House and its belongings, This is the first
time such an item has ever been embodied
in the official estimates to Congress. Here
tofore these pictures have been either fur
nished gratu!tously by the distinguished
originals, donated by friends, or paid for
out OF the contingent fund set apart for
Executive expenses, s,-NeW York sun.
The Washington critic., 1890-01-29

II our national legislators could only
rise above the idea that the main bI.I-
ness of law-maker is to seek party ad-
vantage there would be no waste Of
precious time in making a code of rules for
the House
The Washington critic., 1890-01-29

In THE absence of all other rules, why
doesn't the House adopt the Ten Command
ments?
The Washington critic., 1890-01-29

Young Mr.. Roosevelt appears to be per-
fectly willing to reform everything but the
Civil Service Commission.
The Washington critic., 1890-01-29

WHEN DIR. TALMAGE gets all those his
toric stones and other curios in place in his
Tabernacle and his full drum corps starts
up its racket then c won't be much for the
other museums to do
The Washington critic., 1890-01-29

IT MIGHT BE good scheme to apply
some of the rules Of the mailbag repair
room to the House of Representatives
that one, for instance, which provides that
If poor sewing woman is not in her chair,
even though she is in the room at the cx-
act hour of beginning work, she is de-
prived of half days pay.
The Washington critic., 1890-01-29

WHATEVER General James Shields sword
would now bring in al open market, it was
unquesti onably worth a good deal more
than 600 to this country when it was in
the hands of that same General James
Shields
The Washington critic., 1890-01-29

Ir Is PLEASANT to see that Speaker
Reed keeps in mind the necessity for
Fastening the contested. elections cases.
tits always gratifying to be encouraged
10 believe that the man who has been
elected stands chance Of drawing
something besides his salary and his
breath before the end of his term.
The Washington critic., 1890-01-29

Our IN KANSAS they hope to vote prohi-
bition down If they can get the people
away from the drug stores long enough to
deposit their ballots
The Washington critic., 1890-01-29

IN THE diplomatic correspondence
submitted to the Senate yesterday what
the Chinese Ministers have % say about
the Exclusion act reads very much as
red pepper smells. 1t may be tickle
some at first, but it will fetch tears in
time.
The Washington critic., 1890-01-29

Brice of Ohio and Alger OF Michigan
would furnish pretty contest in 1899. The
politician who should come out of that
campaign poor would-well, he would be a
poor politician
The Washington critic., 1890-01-29
B0rLANGER's DEN0oR1CY

NGER'S DENOCR1CY.
Boulanger gives another proof Of his
democracy in declining to favor the
anti Semitic movement in France. Some
critics will affect TO sec in his policy the
politician regard for the commercial
and money kings. This viii be an un'
just reflection, like many another passed
by English reviewers and American
photographers. Boulanger may, as
charged, aspire TO be Caesar. He has
not, however, justified the suspicion.
lie has neither secretly drilled the mob
The Washington critic., 1890-01-29

IL TIE Inspector of Street Sweeping
in this city were as diligent in his pur
suit of the sweeping contractor rs he
was few years ago in the pursuit o.
efring Congressman, there might be less
dust upon our streets to blow into peo-
plc's ewes.
The Washington critic., 1890-01-29
CONGRESSIONAL nuMoR5

LooL OUT for Mr.. Blaine's uew Kuavy
The Washington critic., 1890-01-29

Homer into English when he was s years
old. Then his acquaintance with the Eng-
lish language was dropped by mutual con
sent
The Washington critic., 1890-01-29
MR.. WANANAKER's cH1Nct

81 'o'uiLchtAhS y NccNtiuhy Vi luc
methods which prevail in the Govern
ment mailbag repair shop, THE CnIrIc
assumed that the immediate superiors
of the unfortunate women employed in
the shop were not fully aware of the
state of affairs which exists in this
tread mill. These superiors are, In an
ascending scale. Captain Cullen, the
superintendent; Colonel Whitfield, Sec
ond Assistant Postmaster General, and
Mr.. Wanamaker, Postmaster, General.
of these Colonel Whitfield, who Is really
the official Immediately responsible, has
been heard from He declares that the
daily stint Of forty bags is not too
much, and AYERS that plenty of women
can be found who can keep mp that
average, or even exceed It, The daily
wage of one dollar he regards as ample,
even generous, because in other cities
women engaged in making slop-shop
clothing receive less He says the shop
must be conducted on strictly bust
ness basis, and wound up his defense
with the statement that "tbe present
method is the best and the compensation
is as high as will Justify maintenance
If The shop
When Madame Roland was being
con, eyed TO the guillotine with her fel.
low -Giron1ists during the Reign Of
Terror hundred years ago, she ex-
claimed. us she raised her manaclel
ban,ls to heaven 'Oh, Liberty, what
ciimesare committed in Thy name"'
So to-day, these poor women may
With equal cause eXclaim against the
grinding tasks imposed upon them aud
The scanty wages doled ont TO them that
q pampered official may be able u
boast tLat he is conducting n one horse
cobbliDg shop on II strictly business
basis" Ii would be better, THE CRITIc
thinks, if little sentiment, little hu-
man feeling, were mixed up in this
business.
TO this end THE CRITIC appeals
from Colonel Whitfield to his imme-
diate superior, the Postmaster General.
MT. W dnNudhtl - u uIlStlhfly uCllNe
IN the church and the Sunday school.
II is difficult to believe that he sane
tions what is done in this repair shop
in the name Of business" Mr.. Wan
amaker is himself an extensive EN-
ployer of labor. lie has been accused
by his political opponents of driving
his workers, but THE CRprIC prefers to
believe this 10 be n canard Let him
compel the semblance, at least, of the
divinely humane spirit of the Nazirene
TO penetrate the dusty, luug-torturing
atmosphere Of The ill-ventilated quar-
ters wherein these poor women are
compelled to toll at their hard and
weary tasks. He will find this most
excellent business basis" to work
upon.
NGER'S DENOCR1CY.
-. a 1
The Washington critic., 1890-01-29

A small Iowa kid stood in the Capitol
grounds on the east side Que morning and
held his fathers hand
Papa he asked, pointing to the half
draped statue of Washington, ''who's
thatYn
"That's George Washington, my boy
"say, pa, George Washington's dead,
aint heY''
'Yes, my boy, he's dead
AN that's himg'
''Yes, Rupert, that's George Washing
ton"
Say, pa, he died before he could git his
close on. didn't hey FRED. NYE.
The Washington critic., 1890-01-29

IT LooKsAs If Congress We're going to
present very accurately-drawn view of
the rear elevation Of the Worlds Fair to
our esteemed contemporaries, Moo Yawlt
and Chycawger.
The Washington critic., 1890-01-29

THE CnrrIo is greatly reloiced to sec that
its esteemed townswoman, Colonel Kate
Field, is lunging right out into the bright,
unobstructed sunshine Of enduring fame.
A summer pettlcoat has been dedicated aud
named after this brilliant journalist; aud
it is no common sort of muslin pctticoat,
either. The stuff used is a lightweight
silk, in n variety Of colors, made on yoke
with q gathered back, and all along the
hem is Greek border worked in bullion
threads and steel beads to hold It down
Wink of thatl
The Washington critic., 1890-01-29

HENRY JAMES, the novelist, says that he
has never been in love. We have never
doubted Mr.. James ability-it is expert
ence Of life that fails to find its way into
bis books. If some woman would meet
Mr. James and throw her arms around his
neck, it might be a great thing for litara-
ture. Who volunteers? History is illed
with incidents of womnn's sacrifice
The Washington critic., 1890-01-29
Nh, Too,

| met Nebraska friend OF John VI.
Thurston's last night. n met Thurston
the other day. said he ''or rather caught
him as he was shining across the back
fence Of the White House grounds.
"'Where are you goinc?' asked.
"'I have been calling on Harrison, he
cried. I'm going over to the Washington
Monument To got warm