Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1890-04-05
NO. As
THE ARIZONA KICKER.
Real Editorial Happiness Found Only %
the Far West.


the Far west.
We extract the following items from
the last issue OF the Arizona Kicker:
APoIooEricAf- We must apologies
TO our readers this week for any lack Of
interesting matter in the Kicker. Mon
day morning, as we were busy at the
editorial table, that parsonage known a.
kansas Joe" entered the Office ane
flred both barrels of shotgun at us
from distance of eighteen feet. Ons
OF the shot raked our scalp, while the
rest passed above our head into the wall.
In another thirty seconds Joseph was
dead. We pulled on him with q re-
volver under the smoke and dropped
him with a single bullet. Scores OF our
leading citizens pronounce It the finest
shot they have ever known.
There was the usual inquest, burial.
etc. occupying so much of our time that
we could not give the paper the atten-
tion II deserved. Next week, unless we
have to kill Tennessee Bill, the Kicker
will again be fully up TO the mark.
+ SEE HIS Ap.--we call attention to the
two-column advertisement OF The White
Elephant drug store, which Is 70 be
tisement was not given the Kicker be.
cause we had ascertained that Mr.. Drew,
the druggist. was an absconder from
New Jersey, and was here living under
a false name and with a woman not his
wife, but because he Ia believer In
| printers ink and has faith that the
/ Kicker will increase his already large
/ and profitable retail trade.
| HAPPFSs Thar wAY.-on Friday
afternoon we approached Henry Smith,
OF the dry goods firm of Smith Bros, and
suggested that he advertise his business
in the Kicker. lie courteously replied
that he would see us In the hnckleberry
country wherever that is-before he
would do business with us. One word
brought on another, and the result was
that he knocked us down, picked up our
half-uneonscious body, and mopped II
around until he began to sweat his col
lar, and we were then flung out Of the
door into the sand.
We can't and don't expect TO lick
every body we bump mp against in this
country. We have chawed up seven for
every time we have been done up, and
every body says that Is a record TO boast
Of As for Henry Smith, while we owe
him no grudge, we deem IL our duty ia
find out where he IL wanted by the po-
lice, and we'll bet barrel of sugar he
jumps this town inside of two weeks.
LET HIM HowI.-Our bow-backed, lop
shouldered. knee-sprung, green-eyed
contemporary down the street is hall
dead with envy because we were the
leading feature at Mrs. o'Hara's party
the other evening, while he received
! the cold cut While we were receiving
, a hundred compliments on our late
editorial in regard TO colonizing Ice
land with American Indians, he was
2 sitting among his paste-pots with cold
. glare in his ewes. While we were lead
/. ing the first quadrille he was kicking
: ockroaches in tho semi-darkness, anC
/ while we were declaiming "Sheridanh
Ride" in our own inimitable style thu
fire Of envy was consuming his small
cheap soul. which was doubtless pur
chased at some secondhand sale in thu
- East.
Let him howl, however. We can af
% ford TO pass him by with good nature
We are as far above the old vuiture a
st Pixies Peak Is above the deepest spot II
}" the sea.
= ExPLANAroHY.-Ane explanation Is eu'
II our readers that still another breach-of
: promise suit has been brought agains
/, us, making the seventeenth in TIVE
: years This time IL is the Widow Cum
i bers who brings suit, and she lays he
, damage at $4,000. Society here Is pc
! culiar Lone women seek this localit.
/, TO catch a husband. Any unmarried
!, man is fair game, and ordinary eourtes.
! is construed to mean love and pro
posal. Take the last case for instance
: Mrs. Cumbers invited US TO dinner. sh
!, said 1t was in acknowledgment OF tn
a power OF the press. We put on q cleal
1 shirt and combed our hair, and she tool
!. 1t TO mean that We we're gone on her
|, We spoke kindly Of the way she boile'
corned beef, and she argued that W
Y loved her We praised her prune pie
= and she replied that she could be read
in three weeks.
The sixteen other suits have all bee
4 decided in our favor and Of course thi
. one will be- 1t is plan to capture u
y or our cash, hnt we don't surrender
Even when we have had offers 10 settl
a $50, 900 suit for e. and q calico dres
we have sternly held TO our course an
let the case 90 10 trial.-Detroit Ere