davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Luxemburger gazette. [volume] (Dubuque, Iowa) 1871-1918, 1890-05-20
WEBSTER'S
UNABRIDGED
ANCIENT EDITION.

A so-called "Webster's Unabridged
Dictionary" is being offered to the public
at very low price. The body of the book,
from A to z, Is a cheap reprint, page for
page, OF the edition of 1847, which Wasin
Its day, a valuable book, but in the pro.
gress Of language for over FORTY YEARS,
has been completely superseded. II is
now reproduced, broken type, errors and
all, by photo Autograph process, is printed
on cheap paper and flimsily bound. A
brief comparison, page by page, between
the reprint and the latest and ENLARGED
edition, will show the great superiority
Of the latter. These reprints are as out
OF date as a last years almanac. No hon.
orable dealer will allow the buyer of such
to suppose that he is getting the Webster
which to-day Is accepted as tho Standard
and THE BEST,-eVery copy of which
bears u imprint as given below.
GeS- II persons who have been induced to
purchase the Ancient Edition" by any
misrepresentation will advise us Of the
facts, we will undertake to see that the
seller Is punished as he deserves.
G. q G.. MERRIAM 81 co.
SPRINGFIELD. MASS.
Luxemburger gazette. [volume] (Dubuque, Iowa) 1871-1918, 1890-05-20
Die 3abndste oes staates bisltsn ..

8. ibre SabresOeriammluus bier ab. Gle
oauerte Spei Gage. Sic @sisai&oft Sdblt
las RitsIieber bod uaren nidt ale bier
eri6isnen. Gum Prdibenten fur bas TONI
menoe Subr parb Or. 8. 8. Beterion pon
bier ernaunt. Or. 9atd uon Siour Gitp
uarb NIT Der 8icssY rdibsni9aft besbrt
Or. y. W. Wiuer uon Des Woinss Durbe
pieber gum Setretdr srtoreu uub benz Or.
y. Price uon Soma @itp warb ber @elbs
beutel iberseben.
Nd9fss Sabr pirb bic Sabresusriamms
lung In Siour Gitp absebaltsu.
Luxemburger gazette. [volume] (Dubuque, Iowa) 1871-1918, 1890-05-20
YIN 9. u. 20. September u. IA. Sftobe

Yin g.. u. 20. September u. Ia. OCTOBER
1890 betsduft bic gbieaso, ct. Saul &
Saniss gttp Giienbabn Eidsts fir bisisni.
gen, bic Ssimffdttsn fu9sn, gum Elm
Breiie fur bic 5abrt FIN unb Der,
bic gut fnb fur 80 Gage pom Gage bss
Gnsaufs nod allen 5auptpunttsn bss Cans
bss, ihtIi9, fibpeiflt9 un5 wefIid. Nds
bere Ra9ri@tsn sebsn bic E%idstasentsu
Der Babn.
Luxemburger gazette. [volume] (Dubuque, Iowa) 1871-1918, 1890-05-20

Wie ber rDps1suile Commercial" be-
ridtet, pirb @nbe bisiss Wonates Sobn
EessIsr, Der In gaps @trarbeau, WO,,
ftubirt, gum 8rtsfter esuetbt. Gm A. Stunt
fol- er istn critics 81. WsBopfer tn Der ct.
Srauciscus: 1aus,ius &tr9e In Epsrspiue
b%arbrinssn.
Luxemburger gazette. [volume] (Dubuque, Iowa) 1871-1918, 1890-05-20

Ser Bius Sereia bat Serru 5. ID.
Wsrner aIs Delesaten mad Der bieies Sabr
in Baltimore itattinbenben SsrIammIuns
bes Central Sereins errtanGt.
Luxemburger gazette. [volume] (Dubuque, Iowa) 1871-1918, 1890-05-20
But GuiIettr.

gu elmer pouitGnbisen GoiIette III aper's
Satrs8i9or uneutbebrlid. Gs bat etnen ans
senebmen @obl9eru6 uno madt bas Saar
weid uuo 9lGnSenb. Gs re9t i6wades uno
biiunes 9aar ;u erneuertem @u6stbum oil uno
9iebt erblei6tem ooer gruuem tSaare feline urs
ipritr9li6e Sorbe uno S6onbett pteoer.
sd sebrau6e aper'S !ouir= 9isor ieit elmer
Reibe pom Sabreu, rno es bat mid inmer su;
frieoen 9~eitelt. IS lit portreifli6 in Ieiuer Gin:
wenbuu9, perbtnoert ooS @r9rauen oss Saares
beiort ert ietn 8adstbum uno erbalt bic Sopf'
baut weiB unb rein." Rarp q. Sadion Ga:
lem, Waii.
-Nni ;ehn Sabre nnr ih ornr. nIs id nnfint
Luxemburger gazette. [volume] (Dubuque, Iowa) 1871-1918, 1890-05-20
Naeuten Der 0nsette".
Sn Shicdan. eli.

IN 9bItu9o, w.:
Sr. Better &eiter, 217 Sr6arb Strabe.
Sr. u. SteinssRalmus, 2O6 @analport
Qpeuue.
Sr. RtdaeI @eIter, go. 1919 site
Strase. Sibieite.
Sir aurora, Su., unb rlnsesenb.
ST.. 9. g. W a ., go. AZ Nortb groaoruap.
Sir ct. Saul ullo llmseseub:
g. @Ioos, 522 @bmuno Ctr.
Luxemburger gazette. [volume] (Dubuque, Iowa) 1871-1918, 1890-05-20

Sic Serababn an gdter StraBe baut
istt ibr eissuss Mai5tnsnbaus unb i6afft
weitere Wa9en III. aGes Ssi5en zines
bIIbenben @ei1dftes.
Luxemburger gazette. [volume] (Dubuque, Iowa) 1871-1918, 1890-05-20
gene Ansetgen.
0etu 0erfuucu

tSnuer Sur6 lci6t pertduhi6e unb ul6Ii5e, bGuptid6Ii4
bel ben Geuttden INNER S~augbare IrttteI etneH bauernoen
uuO euten Serbtsuit e~rjieler. 3um Sepstie UerOen Gui
@unId obne 9orau5beSablure PrObeu Der Grtttel aui
Gommiiiou i'm Setrage non $3.50, SObIbar mad 8ertaut,
BET Grpres uuo Gustunit per Bot S%ussianot, 9eaen Gin
itnouue gutter RefererSeu BON rettitaheneu Nlarneru,
uub tSnuen bic grtitsI, peuu uitt ais gut pertdufib err
pieisn, returuirt pereeu. Aoreiie: ~ @rnt GIsues
lamb, 8.
Luxemburger gazette. [volume] (Dubuque, Iowa) 1871-1918, 1890-05-20
Sommerna6tSfejf 8l1br 9lbenSs.
Gintritt in ben Barf % Gts. pro gsrioH,

~ 8tai9e 9rcuriionspreiie nod Dubuque
uno 3uriid nit Der Suinois Central @iIsnbabn.
Luxemburger gazette. [volume] (Dubuque, Iowa) 1871-1918, 1890-05-20
gbtcaao Rarstbertaf.

C4er TeIesrapb.) 10. Nat 1890.
@ ei3en-No. 2, - "a bis 95 Ste.
@eI16forT- 80 bis 81 @ts.
6afer-23 biz 25 @ts.
&oggeu-5O4 9ts.
@erfe-35 bis So @ts,
Butter-11 bis IS Cts.
Sarmtdie. 9 bis 81 @tS.
@iet-12 bis 10 @tS.
@bistp-$1.02.
Shpeine-$4.O0 bis 4.40
&inbpieb-$3.00 bis $50.
S6peiuefleii6-$1 so bis $11 90.
S5mdls--$5.S0 bis $50.
Luxemburger gazette. [volume] (Dubuque, Iowa) 1871-1918, 1890-05-20
Stadt 4 Amaeaeud.

Entered at the postofice at Dubuque, Iowa,
and admitted for transmission through
the mail at second-class rates.
Luxemburger gazette. [volume] (Dubuque, Iowa) 1871-1918, 1890-05-20
SengIt ~ p%erfaufen.

Sin burd 6erru g. q. 6leiu aus Qurembura
etngetlbrter pteridbrI9er, Northumberland Boas
bluts Sen9it, G6t 8rabanter Tage, siu9eidriez
pr6digreGs Ro. 1886, tte6t biaisIt ,u uerrauien,
bel Srn. y ubert Rebius q, BelpiOere.p rais
RE, cate @itp, Winneiota.
Luxemburger gazette. [volume] (Dubuque, Iowa) 1871-1918, 1890-05-20
SeTprosramm :

GVperture, Or6eiter.
g2Selbe oe5 Selan9s ,.... .......... DtoIart.
VlaNeudor idmmtlidsr Gsianeuereine pom Dubuaue
UNI SbtcGsO.l
&urnen: Stabibunsen, S6peiSer Surn=
perein pom @bica9o.
p8anberluft" -. Stube.
Dubuque Sdrser6ure.
Reftreoe, Serr Sulius 8e9mann, S6nei3. 8t;es
RonIul, pon @bica9o.
p@ruB an bic S6peiS". ........ Qttenbofer.
Yahendor.
&%urnen: uebun9eu am Barren.
Dubuque uuO Gbtouso TurnuersiHs.
an etnem tiiblen 9runbe"
ytaieudor idnmtItder 8eretns.
Sommerna6tSfef 8tBr 2lbenSS.
uGas peiBe Rreuj i'm rotben IeIo" &ttenbofer.
Diaieu1or.
Sablean: Selpetid uno columbia.
SeglettuH9SIteb: The Star Spangled Banner.
abIeau: Qlte unb meme ACKNOWLEDGMENT.
8sgIettuu9slieo: Suit ou, msin 8atsrlanb.
&1bleau: WtntelrieoS Cob.
SrglsttuuesIieo: Sabt b6reu aus alter 3ett.
Grad lpejieQen 3ei6nun9en eutworfen unb
arran9trt pon Serrn Sulius 8esman.)
8urnen: Epramibenbau.
S6Usijr luruDereir, Chicago.
Luxemburger gazette. [volume] (Dubuque, Iowa) 1871-1918, 1890-05-20

ct. &ottS WtarftbertGt.
Wer Selesrapb.) 10. Nai 1890.
u et3eu-rotber, SO. 2, IS bis 80 @ts.
W eI6dforn- 80 bis "a @tS.
Saf ct % bis % @tS.
Ro9qeu- bis Sts.
Luxemburger gazette. [volume] (Dubuque, Iowa) 1871-1918, 1890-05-20

0ein6t.

llno nod anoere @ubeu. Ser aeIammte
2Sertb Der @aben 1T $3.50.
Luxemburger gazette. [volume] (Dubuque, Iowa) 1871-1918, 1890-05-20

C4er SeIesrapb.) 10. Nai 1880.
@eisen-To. 2. 80 @ts.
Safer-30 bis SO @ts.
W eIi6torn-33 bis "a Cts.
&%o9Sen-4S bis so Sts.
9erhe-Ho. 2. AZ @ts.
Luxemburger gazette. [volume] (Dubuque, Iowa) 1871-1918, 1890-05-20

Netus@ort Warftbertdt.
Ser Eele9rapb.) 10. Wai 1880.
@eisen-Wilp., Ro.2 2, $1.00 bis $1.02.
Safer-34 bis 81 @ts.
n-9em. 10. AZ bis 45 Gts.
weinefIeif6--S12.25 bis 1850.
Luxemburger gazette. [volume] (Dubuque, Iowa) 1871-1918, 1890-05-20
Diners Sair:@i9or

3l 9ebrou6en. Settbem bat mein Saar ieiite
Iripriiu9li6e Sarbe pteber au9ensmmen uub
lem l9adstbum wurbe iebr psrmebrt." GtbeI
Srotter, RorfoIt, go.
-8or mebreren Sabren NOR i6 nit bOien
Safteu in meiuer Sopfbaut bebuftet, pelde eli
pom Qper's Sairz 8ieor pur6e i6 pou ben b0ier
SGften 9ebeilt, bas Nusfaleu bes Saares DO rte
auf, uu6 ieiu u%ripriiu9li6er seiunoer 9uftano
purOe pieoer ber9eftelt." g. .. 9ouns, Gar
rplton, Mo.
Aper's Sair -2,isor
3ubereitet Don
Or. 5. 6. 2tDer & Co., Sptpen, WaK.
cSn allen Qpotbeten ~ babeu.
Luxemburger gazette. [volume] (Dubuque, Iowa) 1871-1918, 1890-05-20

@mpfans burd elm gomtts Der Iubuquer
8ereine nit Wnft. Wari6 mad Der
Garnbuue unb gewirtbunS baielbft.
lOubr: Strobe fir d tIt9 e
GGnger in Der Sdnserbuubs Sale. l1br:
@eriummlurs aaer um Seif t5eilnebmeuoen
8ereire Dol Der Eurnbaae, 5efi5us unb
Abfubrt nod benz S6issnpart. 2 ub
so: BesriBunssrebe bur9 9crrn g 8.
Conner, uou Dubuque.
Se9inn Ses YrtisfGisBea. Der
SpieIe u. I. ~.
Luxemburger gazette. [volume] (Dubuque, Iowa) 1871-1918, 1890-05-20
GrnBes Hnlkafef,

Sonnta8, oen 1. Sunt 1890,
int Sdiben;Yatf, Sabnque,
peranitaltet pon ben
Sereiuisten SdweiSer : Sereiaeu
bon Chicago,
unter Mitwirtuug idmmtlider 8siaEgs
Dereine, Der S6iiBengeielidaft,
tes Srftli : Sereius, 9uremburser
Sereins u. I. m. BON Dubuque.
2lbiabrt bonn 9abnbof SuB bon
&]afeiraBe, tut 10 ttbr Samftas
2lbeno.- 4nfunft In Dubuque
Sonnta9 Worsen 6 tlbr
80 Wtinuten.
Omaha daily bee., 1890-01-19
THOUGHTS NVLEHTER VEIN.
Waits From the World of Wit and
Bull
Humor.
THE. K'cKER's NEW DEPARTMENT,
1t Will Be Edited BY a Gambler of
Thirty Years Expcrience-Ex-
oessive Poiteness-Ail His
Own, FAINT.
The Kicker's New Department.

Detroit Free Press: Last week we
established a now department In The
hicker-that OF answering questions
concerning disputed points on games Of
chance, as well as making decisions
thereon. These games will include
euchre, old sledge, seven-up, pedro,
whist, keno, faro, roulette. ETC., taking
In, in fact, each and every game known
to the sporting world.
This department will be edited by an
old gambler of thirty years. experience,
and who carries seven knife -wounds and
the scars OF four bullets as proofs of his
his literary caliber.
The fact tina such a department hit
the bulls eye is evidenced by the fact
that we have added twenty-one new
subscribers within a week, and they are
still coming. We we're intending to
devote this space to religious news, but
after looking the ground over, and dis
covering that there was none to chron-
icle, we gave way to the urgent de-
mand OF the boys and instituted the
new departure. 1t is the general belief
that this will do more to boom our town
than ii We had secured $780, 900 for q
new government building. All COM
~munications intended for this depart
ment should be addressed: "Gambling
Department of the kicker" Write
only on n SIDE of the paper, and do
not attempt to write with blood.
Omaha daily bee., 1890-01-19
Dying i'm
John Boyle O'ReHly.

o'tt DoBc " IttttUs
only a fallen horse, stretched out there on
the road,
Stretched In the broken shafts, and crushed
by the heavy load;
Only a fallen horse and a circle of wonder
ing eyes
Watching the frighted teamster goading the
beast to rise.
Hold for his toll Is over, no more labor for
him;
patient eyes grow dim;
See on the friendly stones how peacefully
rests his head,
Thinking, If dumb beasts think, how good it
is 10 be dead;
After tho burdened journey, how restful it
is to lie
With the broken shafts and the cruel load,
waiting only to diel
Watchers, he died in harness. died 10 the
Fell. ana the great load killed him: one of
the days mishaps,
One OF the passing wonders marking the city
road,
A toiler dying in harness, needless of call or
goad.
Passers. crowding the pathway, staying your
Was it the symbol Only death; why should
we cease to smile
At death for a beast of burden! On through
the busy street
That Is ever and ever echoing the tread of
the hurrying feet!
What was the sign a symbol to teach the
tireless will.
Does he who taught in parable speak in par
ables still?
The seed of the rock is wasted, on needless
hearts of men,
That gather aud SOW and grasp and lose,
labor and sleep and then;
Then for the priZel A crowd in the street
of ever-echoing tread,
The %toiler, crushed by the heavy load, is
there in his harness, deadi
Omaha daily bee., 1890-01-19

Fifth avenue when a well-dressed young
man came briskly along holding an un.
lighted cigarette in his fingers.
My man." said he to one Of the
laborers, will you accommodate me
with a light?'
'Sortinly, sor," replied the laborer
stolidly, and he fumbled about his
clothing until he found a match, lighted
1t ana passed it up to the young man.
Thanks" said the cigarette smoker,
"but it wasn't necessary for you to
light a match: j would as lief lighted
my cigarette from your pipe.
"Oi don't doubt 1t. Sor, OF don't
doubt 1t" returned the man, "but do We
see, Oi wouldn't MS liv We would. Whin-
ever We want a light for yer siggerit an
Oi have a match, it's yours, do We see,
but II Oh don't have n match yen niver
light wun Of thin things in my poipe.' -
The cigarette smoker passed on some
what abashed,
Omaha daily bee., 1890-01-19
PATTI AT SIXTEEN
When She Appeared at Sa Sale, ILL.,.
in Company With Ole Bull.

When She Appeared at Sa Sale, ILL.,,
in Company With Ole Bull.
The following from the La Sale (Ill.)
Republican is very interesting Just at
the present time: A number of resi-
dents here have, during the past week
or 80, gone to Chicago to hear Adelina
Patti. Many Of them we're not born
when she sang in La Sale, as per the
following announcement, which is O
fac smile OF the original except in the
display type, which appeared in the La
Sale Press under date of Wednesday.
August 20, 1856: -
Great Musical Attraction
At the Baptist Church .
This Evening.
Ole Bull
respectfully announces to the citizens
of La Sale and vicinity that he will
give positively only one
Grand Concert,
On Wednesday Evening, August 90,
Assisted by the following eminent
artists:
Adelina Patti,
The Wonderful Vocalist, surnamed
THE Young Malibran;"
Louis Schneider.
The Great Cornet Player;
Franz Roth,
The Distinguished Pianist and
Composer.
HBFor particulars see Programme.
Tickets 81. Reserved seats 81 so, to
be had at j. w. Garfeld's music store,
where adiagram of the house may be
seen. Tickets also for sale at the Hardy
house and at the door.
Doors open at "a o'clock. Concert to
commence at 8.
Ole Bull was taken sick a day or two
after that concert, and went up to the
Sulphur Spring house, then kept as a
hotel, where he remained for a week or
more and was attended by the late DR..
II. M. Godfrey, then q resident OF this
place. Patti stopped at the Hardy
house, then kept by J. Anthony, for
three or four days and roomed with the
landlords daughter. She vas at that
time apparently fifteen or sixteen years
OF age, swarthy as an Indian and full of
ginger. She took great delight In
carrying On o handkerchief filtration
with a young man who was then a clerk
ia CruickshanK's bank across the way
In the Sharp building. In view of her
brilliant and wonderful career and the
universal fame she has achieved, this
little "reminiscences OF her early life Is
not without interest.
Omaha daily bee., 1890-01-19
A Candic Tramp.

Texas Siftings: Gilhooly says he does
not think it right to bestow promiscuous
charity.
Not long since a hard-looking tramp
stopped him and asked for a temporary.
loan. Although Gilhooly was disposed
to regard the transaction more in the
light of a permanent Investment, he
nevertheless advanced an entire dime.
can tell by your looks that you know
how a fellow feels who has had no edu-
cation and has to beat his way" replied
the tramp in a wild outburst of mingled
gratitude and candor.
Omaha daily bee., 1890-01-19
What is Necessary.

New York Sun: A gentleman of stand
ing and reputation in the country was
at an informal dinner given the other
night to half a hundred New Workers.
He was called upon for a speech. He
chose for a subject "The Harrison Ad-
ministration, f" and when well along in
his remarks he told what, in his opin.
under this administration. "Gentle,
men" said he, sin order to get an Office
under Harrison it is necessary to be
either:
"a son of a president,
ga Sol of a Clergyman,
scr a son of q gun"
1t brought down the house.
Omaha daily bee., 1890-01-19
A Good Legal Practice.

Philadelphia Society: Young Law
yer: "You have advertised that you
are going to retire from practice and
want to sell out" Old Lawyer: "Yes.
Do you wish to buy q good practice?''
''Yes. How many clients have your
Two" SIS that a practicep" "Young
man, I've lived off these W. clients for
sixteen years. Ones a claimant under
a contested will and the others fighting
an Alabama claim" (They come to
terms,)
Omaha daily bee., 1890-01-19
A Fearful

General Manager: "Angry parent
What been discharged after only one
weeks work AZ brakeman
Son-Yes; they said l was too green
for them.
Parent-Well, we'll, I thought you
business. What mistake did you makef
Son-Called the names of the stations
SO the passengers could understand
them first time.
Omaha daily bee., 1890-01-19
The Wrone o

Time: First Prohibitionist-Yes, |
saw Touchnot, Il of our leading pro-
hlbitionist, coming out OF the front
door a saloon yesterday.
Second prohibition st-- Youa are right,
and there ia no excuse for it, either.
Why, there isn't a single saloon in this
place that hasn't a back door. I'll
speak to him about it."
Omaha daily bee., 1890-01-19
The CIRCUS At THE CAPITAL.
1t is Undoubtedly the Biggest Show
on Earth.
POINTS ABOUT THE MUSEUM.
Four Hundred Founders and Living
skeletons two A1bipoes- The
Hairy and the Hairless-The
Funniest Ma in Congress
The National Musee.

ARLINGTON, Jan.
Is. - Special to
THE BEE. 1.-THE
congressional mu-
scum is the most
wonderful show
in / h o U mite d
States 8. T h o
three acre tie n {
which covers it Is
our national capt.
toll and the two
rings al either
end Of the build
Omaha daily bee., 1890-01-19
Couldn'U Fool Him

Globe Democrat: Cautious Investor
How did you get at this natural gas,
anyhow
Officer OF the Comparative bore a
hole in the ground till we strike what
is called a pocket Of gas. Then we run
it through pipes to the houses OF o
snmers. "r- In
but mIghtn't somebody else bore
down and strike the same pocket?"
"Not in our vicinity. We own all the
land for miles,"
Got u good titlep"
Been examined by the best lawyers
in the county and pronounced perfect"
ANY lawyers in your company"
II think we have not less han six,
and some OF. them own large amounts of
stock"
utButtouing up'his coat. "Six lawyers
and only one pocket! I've got no money
to put in it, b'gosh!'
Omaha daily bee., 1890-01-19
A Great Improvemsnt.

Arizona Kicker Detroit Free Press:
Colonel Obediah Shaw, our popular
register of deeds, has presented us with
a new 3S-caliber revolver of the Smith
& Wesson make, as q token of his es-
TEEN and affections, and we feel as
proud as a boy with his first pair Of
boots.
We have been, as some of our friends
know, greatly hampered. in our work
during the past year by an old fashioned
revolver which could never be depend
repair all along he,line, and when we
brought it down. on a man we never
felt sure which Of us would get the con-
tents. 1t was N also too large
for our pistpEs pocket, and on
three or four occasions the other man
had opened fire before we could get it
out. When Arkansas Bill met us in
front OF Taylor's bahk one day last sum-
mer and opened fire he had pulled the
trigger three times before we could get
our old shootingiron on line with his
left lung. We didn't expect to drop
him then, as thu hammer was out Of
true, but when we pulled he tumbled,
and he lived long edough to tell us that
he made the mistake of his life when,
he set out to emove the editorial head
OF Arizona's great weekly newspaper.
This new weapon adds to editorial
zeal and enterprise and puts the Kicker
on a more certain foundation. We have
had only one weeks practice, and yet
we n draw it and send two bullets
ripping through a fellow-being's carcass
while an average school boy can get his
mouth puckered TO begin the first line
of Henry Clay's great speech. We shall
not be satisfied until we have done a
for our scalp can find us at the usual
place. prepared to do the best We can
under the CIRCUMSTANCES.
Omaha daily bee., 1890-01-19
A Tough Goose.


Texas Siftings: Old lack shufled
forward, as his name was called, closely
followed by the officer he had captured
him in one of his nocturnal chicken
stealing expeditions. He held his cat
skin cap tightly under his arm, rubbing
his woody head thoughtfully with his
disengaged hand.
We'll, prisoner, what if your name?'
''Zacharias Tobias"
"What?"
''Zacharias Tobias"
Are you sure it is not Ananias?"
II amt sure of muffin, yer honor; but
l 'spects it'll be Dennis TO- l gifts out OBJ
yere."
well, Dennis-I should say Ananias
you were found in Deacon Smiths
chicken-coop this morning at 8 o'clock,
l believer"
Quarter pas three, yer honor"
well, then, 3:15, to be more exact.
l suppose you went there to read
poetry"
'Sar?"
did you go there to read poetryp"
Eat poultry? No, sar; don't want
no raw poultry bout dis niggah. Don't
eat poultry till it's done cooked"
well, Dennis, l am afraid your poul-
try will be cooked this tlme-your
goose at least. Do you think you can
get it done IN thirty days?"
TITS pretty tough, yer honor"
0"Well, then, make it sixty days, so as
to be on the safe side."
And as old lack moved away he MUIR
INJURED, softly, dun fixed it dis time;
bound to get three square meals n day
fur de next two months, shO'."
Omaha daily bee., 1890-01-19
DisaereeabIy so.

Boston Times: Hospital physician
Cooking into the ambulance)-The man
IS dead. His skull has been fractured
and his face is beaten to a pulp. Where
did you find him?
officer 70Ol-At the surprise party
down the street sor.
who was surprised, did you say?"
'sThe corpse l fink, sorI" q
Omaha daily bee., 1890-01-19

Insist on having the genuine RedCross
Cough Drops. 6 cts a box. Sold every
where.
Omaha daily bee., 1890-01-19
He obieeted 10 Olearettes.

New York Times: Three laborers
were smoking their pipes during the
noon hour q few days ago on South
Omaha daily bee., 1890-01-19
Polite and Untruthtnl.

Youths Companions: 1t is possible
that there is such a thing as being too
polite; at least, one may err in the di-
%rection OF a too %obsequious courtesy. 1t
is said that a royal parsonage once
asked a courtler what time it was, and
the man remarked with a low rever-
ence and with hated breath:
Whatever time your majesty
pleases."
Doubtless the king would have boon
better pleased with a less tlattering and
more definite answer.
There is a tradition in a certain
house that one of it's guests was SO polite
that none of her preferences could be
ascertained, and the following incident
is always quoted in illustration of her
phenomenal courtesy:
Now, Kitty, ~ said her hostess one
morning, I'VE can either row or drive
this morning, which would you pre-
fer?" u
"Thank you; that will be charming"
was the nOn-cOmmlttal reply, and as her
hostess afterward declared, wild horses
could not have drawn from her o further
avowal."
Such careful courtesy is often exceed
ingly amusing, and when used by an
lrishman, one can fancy that it would
DC provocative of smiles. An Irish
sailor once called the captain of his ves-
sci from a coffes house with the fatter-
ing statement:
Amt PLACE yerhonor, the tide is wait
ing for vel" ,g,r
Surely tine captain might have
thought himself more than the equal of
King Canute, Who found, by actual ex-
pcriment,' that he was i'm equal to con-
troll the sea.
old lady applies to etiquette, as we'll as
to other affairs or life. s'Speak the
truth always" she was wont to say, ''but
speak 1t gently.s'