The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1890-07-18
GETTING STARTED.

Inc letters II. L.. VI. ar q An-HS
combination. They are a sort OF alpha
bette D sesame" P. L. N. is the
enchanted gateway through which every
n must pass TO escape from the damp,
shiyery gloom of an English winter 10
the paradise of eternal sunshine. The
old. the worn and the weary 60 through
this portal to have a refreshing dip II
the fountain of youth; the sick go to get
well and the hopeless TO die. The letters
on the northern side eff this gateway
might stand for piercing hvid misery or
pouring liquid mud, or potatoes, liver
and mutton OF pitiless lurid murder; and
on the south for peaceful, hfegiying
mildness. or palms, lilies and mandarins
or ports and lakes and mountains; hut
in plain literal meaning they stand Tor
the railway called the Paris-Lyons-Medi-
-terranean, running from the capital OF
France 10 the great southern sea and
along the Mediterranean coast to the
Italian frontier.
4 little knowledge is a dangerous
thing, especially if that little happens to
be wrong. l always had the idea that
P. L. VI. station was that terminus south
OF the Luxembourg palace. Idon't know
how this notion fixed itself On me: any
how. when the cab driver instead Of cross
ing the Seine took the rough stony street
on the north side Of it, I thought he had
mistaken my instructions and tried 70
tell him whore to 90. This attempt TO
give a Paris cabman information about
his own city evidently amused him very
much, and he proceeded TO argue the
point with me-he talking French while
confined myself 10 English-but strong,
forcible English.
think a woman takes a d~eplorable de
light in finding her husband IL the wrong.
Anyhow, this remark was made.
There Is just enc chance in a million
that you are mistaken and that the mar
knows where he is going"
knows: He doesn't know anything
and TO show that l was in the right I was
indiscreet enough to pull out a map Of
Paris. I tried TO fold it up again as
quickly as possible. but was not soon
enough.
Exactly. The man was right after
all. It's miles away and on this side Of
the river
$50 On" l shouted to the driver,
what are you stopping for: Drive On
and hurry up"
Now, this idiotic cochier seemed TO
think every time I tried TO get him to
move on that I wanted TO reopen the ar
gunent about the position Of the P. L.
N. station. He would pull up his horse
and turn half round in his seat towards
me and vehemently expound his side Of
the controversy. 1 realized that if this
sort Of thing was kept on we would miss
the train, and I was just debating
whether it would be better TO murder
the man outright and take the reins my
self, or merely stun him and try TO get
10 the station before he revived, when
there came along a pedestrian who
looked as if he were an Englishman.
i beg your pardon" I said, but DO
you speak English:
Il have been accustomed TO speak it, -
he answered, coming TO a standstil,
from my youth up. What can I do for
your
Nothing, unless you a also speak
French
"Ah, there you touch my weak point;
still l know enough Of the language to
get cheated"
We'll, I wish you would ask the driy-
er what he IS arguing with me about
politics or religion"
There was an animated confab be-
tween the two for a minute, then the
stranger turned 70 me.
..TL1 &c., @IC----- $1,000 1sAA1-
wabbly in your mind as TO what partic-
ular station you want 70 90 to. He says
he doesn't mind driving to any one sta
ton, but he declines 70 experiment with
all the terInini in Paris unless you hire
him by the hour"
WI you kindly tell him that I want
the P. l.. NJ. station and that I want it
bad. Ask him 10 hurry and hint at ex-
ira compensation
When this was done the stranger was
good enough Il give me some hints that
might prove useful,
If he doesn't move fast enough don't
say go it or hurry up he'll think you
want To enter into conversation with
him. Shout 'Pressay,' and If that doesn't
do, punch him with your cane. They
understand that in every language. Don't
hit him with the He viii take
that as a challenge and hit back with the
whip, but punch him gently and yell
P~ressay.' Good-by. Oh, don't mention
it. No trouble at all"
Now, you villain I cried, "Pressay
or perish"
He gave that peculiar "Youep' which
French drivers 50 frequently address 70
their horses. hit the animal an under cut
with the whip, then worked off a fusil-
ade Of sharp whip cracks that sounded
like a succession Of pistol shots and the
horse broke into a detected gallop, which
finally worried US to the foot Of the stone
hill that leads to the station. The big
clock shovel that it was still FIVE min
utes 70 train time. This, on most lines
in France Of Italy, would be equivalent
TO missing the train, but the P. L. NJ.
people run a modern railway, and SO,
with the aid Of a good angel. who, in
stead Of having wings, had the words
Thomas Cook & Son" in gilt letters on
his cap. we got the train. The tickets,
which had been bought in London, Were
Ask Your Friends About II. $3.50
Your distressing cough can be cured