Dodge City times., 1890-10-24
MARK TWAIN m A FIX.
How TIE HamorIst Filled . Date ON She
Notice Without Hls Knowledge.


When Mark Twain was in Washing
ton a week or two ago lie told num-
Der of interesting incidents and anec-
dotes. one of which the Posi- of that city
reproduces. A gentleman we'll known
in political and newspaper circles. on
being introduced to this we,l-knOwn
author. said to him that he had once
had the pleasure of listening to lee
ture of his which was delivered twenty
wears ago.
Did you?1 asked Mark, in that in-
imitablc drawl of his. well, now,
I'll have to tell you something about
that lecture. 1t was little the hard
est and toughest experience ever un-
derwent in my whole career Us lec-
turer. | came to Washington with no
intention whatever of deliveringa lee
ture. simply came. don't you know.
to meet my friends, see the city. and
keep little track of what was going
on in Congress. rs do hundreds of
other people in the course of the win
ter. This was twenty years ago, you
remember.
Now, l had not been in the city
more than 4 day or two before friend
of mine came to my room ut the hotel
early one morning, wakened me out OF
a sound sleep. and nearly stunned me
by asking if was aware OF the fact
that was to deliver 4 lecture ut Lin
coin Hall that evening. told him no,
and that he must be crazy to get out
of bed at such an unseemly hour simply
to ask such foolish question. But he
soon assured ME that he was perfectly
sane by showing the papers. which all
announced that Mark Twain was to
lecture that evening and that his sub
iect would be The Sandwich Islands.
To say that was surprised would be
drawing it mildly. Twas mad. for l
thought some one had put up game
ON me.
swell. on careful inquiry. l learned
that an old theatrical friend of mine
thought he would do me Il favor. So
he started out by getting drunk. While
in this condition he made all the neces-
sary arrangements for me to lecture.
with the exception of the slight circum-
stance that he neglected to inform me
of any of his intentions. He rented
Lincoln Hall, billed the town and sent
the newspapers advertisements and
notices about the coming lecture. and
the worst of it was that he had done
all his work thoroughly. After learn
Ing this l was in a dilemma. l had |
never prepared any lecture on the
Sandwich Islands. What was l to do?
/ could not back out by telling the peo-
pie that / was unprepared. and that
my friend was intoxicated when he |
made these arrangements. No. that
was out of the question. because the
public wouldn't believe it anyway. The
billing of the town had been too well
done for that. So there was only one
thing left for me to do, and that was to |
lock myself in my room and write that
lecture between the breakfast hour and
half-past that evening. Well. did it,
and was on hand ut the advertised
hour, facing one of the biggest audi
ences ever addressed"
Yes, Mr.. Clemens, You were there
all right" said Mr.. -, for ! heard
the lecture. and very amusin. one
it was too; but if remember correctly
you did not read from your notes"
You are right. l did not use my
replied Mark Twain.
''but in those early days l always had
my. lecture in writing, and l kept it on
q reading stand at one side of the place
where l stood on the platform. l was
very good at memorizing, and rarely
had any trouble in speaking without
notes, but the very fact that had my
near at hand where could
readily turn to it without having to
undergo the modification OF pulling it
from my pocket gave me courage and
kept me from making awkward pauses.
But the writing Of that Sandwich
Island lecture in one Il was the
job ever PIT on me-"