The Hot Springs star. (Hot Spings [Hot Springs], Dakota [Dakota Territory, i.e. S.D.]) 1886-189?, 1890-01-17
WORK OF THe WITS.

It ID . long lane that has no tumble
for The bicyclist.
SOMETHING attractive in the way ofa
cigarette holder-spretty girls mouth.
MABEL-Amy, what has become of
your santi.slang society!' Amy-Oh,
it's In the soup"
LITERARY men are o good deal like
hens. The author lays q plot and then
the editor sits on it.
TOMMY wish the school-room was
round. Mother-Why? $50 the teach
or couldn't make me stand in the
corner"
1T is the man who orders a room on
the top floor who takes up the most
room in writing his name on the MOTEL
register.
PHlLADELpHIAN-Has Pittsburg my
thing Of literary atmosphere? Pitts
burger-Yes, IL Is noted for its volumes
of smoke.
The infant King of Spain is to have
his portrait put On postage stamps.
This will make him more stuck up"
than ever.
sD!D you have a spicy call:" she
asked sarcastically, after his return
from the haunts Of the festive Glove
between the acts.
We know men who insist at every
point upon beating their way through
life, but We observe that they all draw
the line ct . carpet.
MOSES KLE1DERsTEIN - Sarah, nv
dear, don't let Rachel come out; dis
| shentelmans looks too enticing in dot
new suit Of clo' he's going to buy!
ONE Of the heather customs which
lady missionaries have to get used to is
not to look pleased when natives tell
them their babies look sweet enough to
eat.
MuDaE-If I were to lose my mind,
do you suppose I would be aware of it
myself? Doctor Boless y You would
not. And very likely o N of your ac-
quaintsnces would notice it, either.
In the back parlor, before supper:
Mother-Carriess coming-out is a sue
cess, Jamesl Father (disgustedly)-
Yes, indeed! There she stands! Look at
her! Could any one ask for any more
Of her to come out.
YABsLEY-These novelists make me
tired. The idea ola whitening glance!"
As if any n could he withered by a
mere look. Wickwire-You are young
yet, Yabsley. You never stepped on
your wife's train at q ball.
New Minister'S your papa at home,
little girl? I am the new minister, and
I understand that he is one of the pill
lars of my church. Little Girl-Oh,
yes, he's always ct home to ministers.
Ministers don't have bills, you know.
NJ. PERErr1 has written a book to
prove that Columbus was a Corsican.
We believe It, for when Isabella asked
him il, with the proceeds Of her neck
lace, he could get down east by sailing
west, he answered: "Of course ]
can"
@WELL, Ican't see any fun in attend
ing court" said an observant old lady.
sEvery time q witness goes to tell any
thing that's got anything to do with
the case, all the lawyers Jump up and
holler, and the jedge rules the testi-
mony out"
EYES, Flossie," said her mother,
@poor Willie Wafles never saw his ia.
Their. He died before Willie was born"
This seemed to affect Flossie very
much. sWell, mamma" she said, draw.
ing q long breath, @Im glad you didn't
die before I was born"
A PARTIAL victory: First boy-Oh, ]
got away with mother to-day. She
tried to make me come in the house SC
she could whip me, and I wouldn't dc
it. Second boy-Bully for you. What
did she do? ooh, she whipped me,
but she had to come out in the yard tt
do it,"
AN ALPHABETICAL wooING,
Let others talk Of Z Ms eyes
And x rs figure light and free,
Say L r too is beautiful,
Iheed them not while U I @.
= need not N v them. forU
XII them all. my N LIZ.
1hsve no words when I would tell
How much in love with y lib.
So sweet U r. my D Il.
love your very FEC;
And when you speak or sing, your voice
Is like 2 wtnsom Z Cd.
When URIC hope ID ks,
am Q mere non.N r..
Such e .b F < t,a mas yG q , =
For love go deep e. mine, I fear,
There 10 no other E
But that you love me back again
Othought Of heavenly xTCi
30. lest my n T heart and 1
Should sing for love an 4 EGG,
re me no more-B Y's, B kindly!
Q. NILE. UR u
81. Nich0las.
A Nnvnrw 80. rvr.~x.r,