The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1890-02-05
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Counting the clergyman in, it takes
three to make pair.-Paet.
The musical critic should necessarily
be a man of good sound judgment. -
Life.
Miss Adipose refers to her slim lover
as a beau and narrow.-Binghamton
Leader.
You never can tell the size of woman's
grief by the frequenc. OF her sighs.--
Boston Post.
No American consul was ever seasick
enough on his voyage to throw up his APP
pointment.
Because boy is q remarkable little
shaver is no sign that he will become
barber. -Binghamton Republican.
The fact that the poor man wants to
own mule may be because the animal is
so well heeled. Merchant TrGceler.
~ called to see you just az a mater of
curiosity" said the dime museum man
ager to the armless phenomenon.--Aer-
chant TraUeler.
Money is not essential to happiness,
but there is an indefinite something about
big bank account that at times is very
refreshing. Bpoch.
Young Sprigg-''Mr. Bidquick, am
worth $50, 900 and love your daughter
Mr.. Bidquick (retired auctioneer)-
"Sold. = Chicago Tribune.
Mrs. Littlun (as her husband enters)-
"Hush Babys asleepm Mr.. Littlun
--"But that's the only time have a
chance to be heard. Puck.
Gabby-"How did you get that dread
full cold?' Snufilcton-'Id the datural
way, stoopid! S'pose l advertised for
plads ad specifications ?"-SVtings.
"When Greek meets Greek
Then comes the tug of war;
When the Way Back Sewing Circle meets
Then comes the tug of jaw.
-Goodalrs Sun.
Mrs. Broadhurst-"You must stay over
for our ball on Thursday night" C,unt
de ardanelle-'A-a -ah, madame, you will
assassinate me with your kindness. -
Judge.
Stranger Gn dime museum)-"Say,
where's the walking match you ad-
vertised!' Manager-"See the livin'
skeleton over there" "y p" "Wel,
that's him. Time.
Necessity is the mother of invention.
These patent self-applying buttons would
have never been invented if women had
remained content to stay at home and do
the sewing .-Ierre Haute E.tpress.
Brown-"You know I'm quite a near
neighbor of yours now, Mrs. Golightly!
I've just taken a little house ON the
river" Mrs. Golightly-"Oh! Well,
hope you'll drop in some day. Judy.
Alice Cat two A. NJ. in the parlor)-
"Oh, George, ! hear papa coming!
Run" George (smiling) won't
come in here" 'How do you knows"
II lent him $40 this morning. ."-LaU-
renee american.
Put your best foot forward" has ever been
shown
To be for mankind a commendable plan.
But the mule with way that is solely his
own
Puts his best foot backward as hard as he
can.
--Chicdgo Herald.
What happy world this would be if
it were not for the thought of the long
and expensive litigation that will take
place when our heirs try to burst our will
in order to get a chunk of our million
aire estate.-DHScWo Bree,e.
"Wen, John, " said a gentlemen to his
servant, 81 must say that it doesn't take
me half the time to dress that it does
YOU "No doubt, sir; no doubt; but
then, sir, we are not all alike, sir, for
I've no valet to help me, sir. Judge.
Belinda-"I see that Clara has taken
to sending liberal donations to the hospi.
tails and asylums. Annable-"Yes;
you see she has everything she could pos
sibly want, she has not wish ungrati-
fed so she is going in for self-denial and
giving to the poor "--America.
Miss Charity to bcSgar woman)-
''There, my good woman, is an old dress
Of mine with only the front widths and
part Of the waist gone. If you will get four
or five yards of brown cashmere to com
bine with it, and some new Innings and
velvet for a collar and cuds and panel
at the side, it will make you quite neat
and comfortable gown. That is all have
for you to-day. Time