The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-08-23
sUNFLowER SIMMER.

be in the corn bin this winter.
Mr.. Willets, the alliance candidate for
governor, seems to have very effectually
crept out of sight of the public.
The Wellington Press gave itself bene-
fit this week. One full page advertise
ment and three of delinquent tax list.
Now that Chancellor Snow has failed to
discover an able-bodied chinch bug in the
state he might direct his attention
towards the candidate for state auditor.
Mr.. Z. H. Henthorn, of Burden, Cowley
county, is named among the grand jurors.
But he will not go. He is beyond the call
of the courts 20 yez." He died last win
| ter.
! We haven't received one Democratic pa
| per from southern Kansas this week, but
several alliance organs mix up the names
of Grover Cleveland and Jerry Simpson
very suspiciously
Farmer Otis, the opponent of Harrison
| Kelley ought to be warned OF running
away after iridescent honors. As an
| honest milkman he should remain in the
jurisdiction of his pail.
The Emporia Republican is very re-
| sourceful. In its fight against the senior
| senator it draws from foot note of
ancient history. 1t speaks Of Senator
Rush's opposition of ingalls,.
| A half drink is better than none. The
absence of a Tom among the candidates for
the nomination at Pratt probably pre-
| cipitated the act of the Democrats in tax
ing the next best thing-a Jerry.
The editor of the Fort Scoot Monitor is
not giving the ''old man" as much support
as it gave Gene Ware, and that amount Is
not to be found in the table of weights and
| measures of a common arithmetic.
Following the Leavenworth paper of the
same name, the Atchison Sun now col
lapses. The trouble with the ''Suns" of
the northeastern part of the state seems to
be that they are of the earth, earthly.
A girl who lives near Conway Springs
has been asleep for nine days and can not
be aroused. If some one will slip up to
her and quietly remark tive are going to
have potatoes for dinner today" we think
it will fetch her
1t is heralded over the state that Judge
Pfeffer disappointed the people at an
alliance picnic at Hiawatha because he
was not in good form. Nobody would
accuse the conscientious editor of the
Kansas Farmer of political trickery. Why
don't he pad?
If the misfortune of a paralysis of
the vocal organs should suddenly overtake
Senator ingalls,, says the AtchisOn Cham
piOn, he would be shorn of his only talent.
There seems but one thing for Senator
ingalls, to do to pacify the Champion, go
off to some quiet place and die
Another boat is soon to cultivate the
bed of the Missouri river. Already the
Kansas City papers speak Familiarity of
Pilot So-and-So and Captain Blank. There
will never be any sea dogs of Missouri
river navigation however. There is too
great danger Of hydrOphObia.
Several papers claim that if Anderson
had kicked Mr. Mckinley and his little
bill there would be no doubt of his re-
nomination. When this news reaches Mr..
Mckinley he will probably supply him
self with metal shield and keep an eye
on Bishop Perkins.
In reply to the EAGLES compliment of
Colonel Hallowell, the Barber County In
deX and several other Democratic sheets
remark: 1--WE are pleased to see the word
'joviality' taking the place of the word
bum Thank you, Mr.. Index. There
are very few Democrats but who can learn
something by reading the EAGLE.
you'll notice this long session is no
having any apparent effect on Senate
ingalls,, " said a gentleman from the far
west in the senate gallery to a Washing
ton reporter recently. There was nothing
in the senator's appearance to dispute the
no nd
the gentleman from the west went on 81
used to know ingalls, years ago. He was
thinner than he is now, and looked just
about the same. He lived in AtchisOn,
and had the reputation of being possessed
of more brain and less flesh than any one
adult in the state of Kansas. One day he
went up to the office of friend of his. a
doctor, and while he was in there news
boy dashed in. Now the kids who sold
papers around AtchisOn in those days
We're the nOisiest | ever heard, and the doc
tors assistant, a cheerful young student
was always on the alert to shut some of
them up and to prevent them from invading
the privacy of his TO m with their stamp
ing feet and ear-piercng yells of ''S'n
LOuay papes." The assistant had seen
this particular boy as he entered the build |
ing, ana IN an instance had placed inside |
the doorway of the office a full grown
skeleton. When the youngster threw the /
door open and was midway through one of |
his declarations the skeleton fell over on (
him. With a shrek that was worse even |
than his regular street cry the boy rolled /
down one fight Of stairs and tumbed into /.
the street, and his murmuTings continued /,
right straight along. You've scared that /
boy to his death, exclaimed the budding
senator, who was OVERLOOKING with iudgna- |
ton. Then he went to the window, and !
bending out called to the grimy but pallid /
face of the vict N: Come back here, boy; |!
I'll buy some of your papers. He shan't !
hurt you The response was instan- |
taneous. The sobs ceased, and he shouted: /
No. you don't! You can't fool me il !
you have put your clothes on"
THE FORCE BILL.