Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-08-24
Cooked His Goose.

Judge Lobberdee and Parson Limoerhp
were neighnors. Ia their community ya1n
was esteemed 4 man OF prooity. ana wniLe
Their daily relationships quite entorceu ,ne
beilet that they had q sincere regard ior
one another. there was one clrcnnstance
which limited the existence OF a mntuai
suspicion. On either side OF the llnetence
dividing the chlcken-coOp OF the Judge
from the cmckcn-coop OF the tarson was
conspicuous sign; that on the faISoh .
premises read:
De penalty TO- stealin' my chickens am
halter poun' or buckshot."
The judges proclamation or warning
was Him dat steals my pu's' steals trash,
but him dat steals my chickens, Gawd heip
'iml"
The significance Of these signs was alto
gcthcr IN their disposition. the Judge
being so placed as to face directly toward
the Parsons. and the Parsons as lmpu-
IDENTITY aiming its admonition at the Judge
domcil.
Despite these warnings the pou.try-cen-
sus on either side of the fence decreased
10 an alarming extent and at last, when
the same had been reduced TO judicial
turkey and an ecclesiastical goose. the two
neighbors met at the division fence shortly
before Christmas aud INDUCED in this little
exchange:
"Mornn'. Jedcei"
"MOrnm'. Parsonl" -,
:" Is De Evaporation goin' on yet, ledger "
Evaporation? Why. Parson, mt.s a
cPar case or some one sayin' 'prestum an
dey done gone"
"Cuis. hain't it. JedgeY Mos like dem
paralOlicks We reads erbOut IN der scrip
tums"
"Perzacbly. Parson! Mos cu'is fernoml-
ker dat ebber come mp wild my judicatlon."
pause ensued, during which the pro
fessional gentlemen were evidently en-
plOyed in the art OF mlnd-reading. sud
denly the Judge broke the spell.
"Parson.n said he. "Shokespare hab
said dat dc wigerlants kermittee am der
price or liberty
"Yo'm spesserfy de fruit, JedCe. an
parrygorically de same erplys TO poultry"
"ShO's yo' BON. ParsOD--sho's yo' BON =.
An darfo' an whar's VEIN g0tter pint
ourse'fs wat de vlZeable stachoos calls "A
pOssum comeatus, ter git out OAR dis night
an hor a yigerlants on dem coOps an leb-
bel on de wagroms dats been lopln' OIL wild
dem chickens
Oats ercordin' ter H'yle, Jedge, an
fairs Pm consumed I'm greeaOle ter pass
dat resseluglOu unamicus.'
This arrangement amicably perfected the
night saw the Judge and ParsOn, armed
each with an old smOoth-bore, sitting IN
front of their respective fOwl-roosts, blink
| ING at tho mist-euyoloped moon, but d.
recting no Indifferent vigilance toward one
another. For hours this vigilance was ln-
| relaxed, but as midnight approached the
| judge was rewarded with evidences Of
genuine Quiescence on the part of hlsrlyal,
| The Parsons head was seen to drop. and
after q series of recOver-intery9ls between
mods. the chin finally settled upon the
| breast. and the night air was smltten with
/ the emphasis of a s0mnOlent purr. ne
! judge arose, walked toward and clrcum.
navIrated tine ParsOn, and. being satisfied
| with the situation, strobe from one % me
other of the pOultry-shelters. and quietly
approprating both goose and turkey re-
/ treated with hs captures into the family
/ citadel.
The character and duration Of the Par
/ sons slumber were not known until the
next evening at prayCr-maetlng. when, ~
| the presence of the Judge, he prcfacod the
| benedictlon with these impr0ptu remarks
"Broddcrn. II hab ben de Gus ON oil
yo' pahsture ter invite dis flock ter pahtak
/ ob de kris'mas goose at de pahsturoee. j
/ was de puppus Ob yO' tumble sarbeut te
! prOssercute dat pahstime on dc 'ca-hlOn oil
| dis fesserbal but Proberdence hab JUL
/ dem functions fOm At pOs-umhi huos. ]
/ hab ben de pleshure Oh Dc fo'said ter IN
stergate Jedge Lebberdee ter take d.
marter f'om ar iu'ispoodcnce. 'Greeabl
ter dat modesty dat belong ter d.
ledge 20 pahsture am see i'm per
| seedin,' IN de sllum watches or d
| night. onselishly rehbin' yo' sarben
ob dc goose, an dc onerashus dutio
ob sarbin' De same TO- yo' Kris'ma
comfort. Darfo' it am yo pahsture.
pleshur ter AK yo' all ter gadder at d
! Jedee's cabin on de comm kris'mas, te
pardizzypate i'm de Kris mas goose witch b
am kin'ly undertook ter cook 70, de ..ca
| shun. an NAV Proberdence injec yo' a
wild SIGH appertites ASH show 'preshiatio
! 90 de JedEe's kindness, an make de COOS
feel dat de do'way do yo' hearts am opel
ter his car an keepin'.'
The feast ensued according 70 the pro
| grammc, and Judge Lebberdee is now wait
| ing for an opportunity 10 even up with tn
! ParsOn through the meshes OF the law.
MADE MHuPLE.