Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-01-10
HUM0R OF THE DAY.

Docs the crow ever NOPE over any LOST
caws?
Whaling grounds-Country school
house.
A Maine barber has fallen CHAIR to a
handsome fortune.
A skilful cook is the most popular OF
interior decorators.
Talking about whcclmcn, when they
toll not neither do they spin
Many an honest debtor wishes lie had
a round sum to square up with.
The ocean grcyhounds have no time
to consider barks nj sea- - Picoyunc.
The most sclf-conccitcd are those who
continually dcprcciatc natural vanity.
1t was butcher who remarked that
four quarters were less than the whole. -
Lie.
The pen is mightcr than the sword :;
but the pencil isn't much good without
the knife.
"EXcusc me-" said Il tramp, rs he was
led TO the wood shed, "bui IN, not
experienced in running chop house
Dentist Ito paticnD-''Will you take
gas to have the tooth out?" Patient
GLOW much is i, thousaud?"-,Ju,lqe.
Quack-"'If you use my medicine YOU
will use no other. Pa,icnt-"Th;r's
what I'm afraid OF. DOCTOR Yank.x
BLUE.
The pug dog fills many man with
the disappointing thought that he might
he handsome if he were only ugly
enough.
Woman is lovely crcatusc, and she
knows it, too, but she is always willing
TO be told it once more. -Sym,rriUc
| Journal
MIR. Gustus Phcw-''Will you rcmcm-
Der me when | am far away" Mis-,
Sally Day-"lIow far away are you
| goingW -Puck.
Thompson Observation-Disclosures yor
see that gun? My wife killed bea with
that once Robnson-"Ah, indeed
What WAS she shooting at."-MunSey'
Wcthiy.
Mildred (who hears thu, her aunt is
going to take Il fencing lcsson)-"Oh.
anntic, do take me with You. I'd love
to see you jump over the fcncesr'-Hn..
| pcr'S Ba;W
Tommy Mamma, give me some
pears, Mother Why, Tommy, you
have eaten five orsix already "Wcll,
them amt the ones want It's them in
the basket I'm after. = Teas sJtings
.Ionnny-"What did the minister mean
when he said something about place
where thieves ic not break through and
stcal!' Mr. Dumpscy-"lIc referred Ia
your mothers dress pocket" -Lawrtnct
.lm5ricla.
"iIy good man, said the lady TO the
gardener, (Which J., your choice for the
national ilowcr!" q! haven't given it
much thought, num- he replied; "but
Id vote for the chrysaa,hy, mum. y
NoyTisto0a Wyuid
Snowbcrry-"Spcaking Of the old
fashioned custom OF writing fms at the
end of book makes me t:iinl; of my
wife" Donncy so2" Snow.
bcrry-"0h, she always gets III the last
word."-hearney Enterprise.
"iIcre'sa dog must got" exclaimed
the owner of dime museum, as he read
in the paper about an animal in Wiscon-
sin who swallows coins whenever he has
an opportunity. .What do YOU want
him for?' asked friend "Bccauso
there's money i'll it. "-Mvascy's Weekly.
Applicant-''If you have Il position in
your bank vacant, sir, would like n
apply for it, Bank "Thcrp
IS no vacancy, now, believe, cxccp.
that OF runner" Applicant-'T am
qualified to ill that, sir. did the best
long distance work in Yell College, sir,
last year. v Yenomino's Me'cs.
II don't think Jones has been ndulc-
Ing too much,' said his kindly believing
spouse ''but, still, thought it rather
odd OF him that he should wrench the
knockcr oil the front door and brin" it
mp to me as | 81; in bed, saying tina! he'd
| gathered another rose for me ont of thc
garden, poor, dear, simple boy: hes lust
us loving and sentimental as ever he
was. "-Londoa PgAch.