davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-07-10
Don't Crowd the Mourners.

Jones-If the New York officials have
any gentlemanly instincts at all they
will refrain from stealing for awhile. =
Brown-Why should they hold un
just now? -
Jones-Because the prison at Sing
Sing is overcrowded.-Tex as SiftinRs. ;
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-07-10
Couldn't Stand a LOar

Gazzam-I never saw man lose his
strength as rapidly as Dolly did tho
other day.
Maddox-How was that?
Gazzam-I asked him to lend me ten
dollars, when straightway he declared
he was unable to stand alone.-West
Chora
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-07-10
No Such knowledge Necessary.

Examining Judge-We wero very sor.
ry not to pass you, Mr.. Quill, but your
examination papers showed you very de-
fcient in knowledge as to the rules OF
evidence.
Candidate for Admission to the Bar
But, sir, / propose to do only, a divorce.
court business in Chicago.
Examining Judge-Ah, I see.s You
shall have diploma in the morning,
Mr. Ouill.-JudCe
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-07-10
HER FIRST CALLER.
How tho Grim Reaper Was Welcomed
n0yEn. Eat S,afnak>. -

How the Grim Reaper Was Welcomed BY
aDown-Esst spinster.
Some years ago Amelia Simpson, q
maiden lady Of mature years, moved
into New England village to take DOS
session Of a small property-that had
been left her by deceased uncle.
Miss Simpson was a city spinster and
1t happened that while moving into her
new home she made some decisive re-
marks about the village, which remarks
reached the ears of the villagers.
It was before the days of boycottinp,
but the spirit of that method existed.
and so unanimous were the feelings OK
cited against the newcomer that not /,
soul in the village called upon her.
The lady herself was unconscious that
she had offended, and made several ad-
vances in the direction of forming an
acquaintance with her neighbors, but
was met with cool INCORPORATION every
time.
| Then she withdrew herself from any
communication with the people, bought
all supplies from a neighboring town,
and lived alone with female servant
for score of years. At the end of that
time she was taken very i'll. A doctor
was summoned from distance by her
faithful attendant, and he soon knew
that all remedies were useless and it
only remained for him to tell poor Miss
Simpson that her earthly pilgrimage
was nearly over. This he did in his own
way. He was doctor of the old school
and he approached the subject cour.
teously.
Madam" he said in grave deliber.
ate voice, II have done all that posi-.
bly, can do in your case to insure return
of health, but without avail. 1t only
remains for me to inform you that death
has called"
Poor Miss Simpson raised herself on
her pillow with smile of satisfaction.
"Show him up,'' she said, with shin.
ing eyes, II have lived in this unhos.
pitable place for twenty years, and he il
the first caller ever had!'
And she sank back with peaceful
look on her composed features.-Detroit
Free Press,
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-07-10
Exactly I.ika tho Ruil<linr

'Dinguss," said Shadbolt, as the two
met in front Of a hotel, 'they say this
building is settling. Can you see any
indications of it?"
mo"
''That reminds me, Dinguss, BY the
way, that you haven't settled for that
last ten dollars YOU"
"I'm just like this building, Shad.
bolt" said Dinguss, sadly. II can't see
any indications of my settling"-Chi-
caro- Trihune.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-07-10
Interested In Science

Miss Millie-Oh, mother, Prof. Sci
ence is to lecture tonight. Can't go?
Motber-Dear me! What's got into
you?
Miss Millie-Why, he's to lecture On
"Sun-Spots," and I'm just wild to get .
good cure for freckles.-N. Y. Weekly.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-07-10
A Bit of Impudence

Cholly-Excuse my asking, but do you
really enjoy talking to yourself? have
noticed you have that habit.
Dolly-I suppose I enjoy it, but why
do you ask?
Ceolly-O, didn't know whether you
did or not. You see, didn't know but
that the enjoyment You took in talking
to Yourself was counterbalanced by the
infection of having to listen to yourself
1T the same time.-Terre Haute Ex-
press. @5S - .'AasFy Co.,
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-07-10

The pleasant flavor, gentle action and
soothing effects of Syrup Of Figs, when in
need OF laxative and il the father or
mother be costive or bilious the most graft
tying results follow its use, 50 that it Is the
best family remedy known and every fam
ily should have bottle
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-07-10
Like . Circuit Of Electric wires.

The human sensorium resembles q circuit
forming links in the circle of continuity.
When digestion grows weak the epigastric
nerve suffers, and the whole system is af-
fected. Reinforce it with Hostettcr's
Stomach Bitters, and the nervous organism
grows tranquil and reposeful. Fever and
liver complaints retreat before this remedy.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-07-10
WEAVING PIGS.

The Best limo to DO It-Somo Precau.
tons That Should he Observed.
Weaving time is always an important
one, and care should be taken to see
that such attention is given as will pro-
mote and maintain steady growth.
The best plan usually is to commence
feeding several days before weaving,
giving bran mixed with milk, which
should be allowed to stand Provide a
trough in a place where the pigs can
run in themselves, and eat without be-
ing disturbed, then they will soon learn
to eat and get accustomed to the changed
diet. The age at which they should he
weaned depends greatly on their condi
ton. If they have been we'll fed, and
have done we'll, they can, as rule, be
weaned when they are eight weeks old.
With others not doing 80 we'll allow an
other two weeks nursing. A good
orchard is the very best place for grow
ing pigs. If there is good supply of
grass, a small quantity of bran and
milk will keep them in good order. It
is not wise to made too sudden change
from the mothers milk to grass.
4ucTo ~ uauRer Oh inc pigs ReCtlnE
stunted at this time, and it is almost
impossible to correct the mischief AS
with disease, every precaution should
be taken to avoid such. When there is
any considerable difference in the size
and quality of the pigs, which often
arises when sows have large farrows, q
good idea is to wean the best pigs first
and allow the smaller and weaker ones
to suck few days longer. At this sea.
son the faster the growth Of the pigs
the larger will be the profit, and the
period from now EDWARDS, until real hot
weather sets in, is the very best time to
secure healthy growth. The ex.
tremes of hot and cold weather are both
against obtaining growth, whilst the
moderately cool weather in tho early
spring or autumn. under proper condi-
tions, is much more favorable for rapid
growth. With young pigs, If they have
plenty of good green clover, there is
little danger of overlooking; but it is
never advisable to give pigs or stock of
any kind more than they can clear up
comfortably--Orange Judd Farmer.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-07-10

TO REGULATE the stomach, liver and bowels
and promote digestion, take one of Carriers
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-07-10

zz And Chappie Ceased to Smile.
'Clara johnson says you and I are on
gagged, Ethel" said Chappie.
Cellars Johnson always did say every
spiteful thing about me she could think
ok."'-Lifa. sg >. ~ ~: H. +. . -
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-07-10

Stz Novels Fra, win be sent by Cragin Il
Co., Philada, Pa, to any one in the U. q. or
Canada, postage paid, upon receipt of Is
Of novels on circulars around each bar
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-07-10

An Austin shoemaker is writing book.
There will probably be great many foot
notes.-Texas Siftines.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-07-10

P1NP1Es are inexpressibly notifying.
hemedy1Glenn's Sulphur Soap.
d4s hair and Whisker Dye, 50 cents.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-07-10

PEOPLE who wait for what is offered gen.
orally have long spells between meals
Milwaukee Journal
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-07-10

There is nothing like bahJ in .
home. 1t seems to fill small .ouas 70
that nothing else is missed. y. O.
Pioayune.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-07-10

TIE silent partner is one who keeps HE
mouth shut while his active partner N
spending his money.-N. O. Picayune.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-07-10

TIE dearest spot on earth is the summer
resort In comparison, there is NO place
like home.-Sioux City journal
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-07-10

OlOOe.
I've seen her smile I've seen her weep
I've called her angel times score;
Now that we'vo we'd Ivc her siccp
And, as I've also heard her snore,
Ineer can call her angel more
-He-"Why does that Miss Jaundice
always wear lilies of the valley?' She
II can't imagine-particularl as flowers
of the plain would be so much more an.
propriate. Life.
the great philosopher, let me make the
songs of the nation, and care not who
makes the laws Mr.. Fiat Justitia-
! ''But if you sing the songs, Voxy, I
, want to make the laws. "-Once Week.
-"Pa, what is learned man?" "a
learned man, my son, is one who is so
firmly convinced that he knows more
. than anybody else, that it is less trouble
, to take him at his own estimate than to
undeceive him. Van Dorn's Magazine.
Boston Girl-'Papa,: Mr.. Toney is
coming here tonight to press his suit
with YOU" Boston Papa-''Does the
young man appreciate what an alliance
with our house means?" Boston Girl
eyes, papa, but Albert says he is bound
to have me atany price."-N Y. Ledger.
-Blokson is great fellow for re-
counting his exploits as a fisherman.
do you believe" he asked friend one
day, sin the saying that truth is stranger
than fiction?" I don't know about its
being stranger" was the reply, "but
there are sources from which it is a
great deal more unexpected."- Wash-
j ington Post
1t cost the cigarette men $500, 600
last year to supply the packages with
pictures, and all have now combined to
do away with them. They have prob
ably concluded to kill the boys without
corrupting their morals with chromos,
and for this much the country should
be thankful.-Detroit Free Press.
-Tom-''Look here Dick, enough
joking about this. I'm in earnest now,
i and demand, sir, that. you pay me that
| ten you borrowed" Dick-''So you're
getting on your dignity, are you? Well,
20 ahead. You can't get blood out of a
turnip, you know" Tom--''I'm not try
ing to- am trying to get money out OF
beat."-Munsey's Weekly.
Miss Debut-"You know every lady
is expected to wear her favorite flower
/ atthe reception Tuesday evening"" Miss
Oldmayd-''Indeed! And what shall
you wear?'' Miss Debut-"O, rosebud,
think" Miss Oldmayd-''Dear me, I
don't know what to wear. Can't you
suggest something's" Miss Debut
"How would spray of elder flowers
go?"
.-Wife-....What is this mending and
repairing company that is advertised in
the papers, John?" Husband-''It is a
company that has been formed to meet
. long-felt want. Garments in need of
repair and buttons and things are taken
in and fixed for small sum-" Wife
"A good thing for bachelors, 1 should
say" Husband-''And for married men,
too, my dear; for married men, too"
Then, after attaching his pantaloons to
his suspender with safety-pin, he went
out on the stoop to see what kind of
night it was.-Boston Courier.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-07-10

J. 8 PARKER, Fredonia, N. T., says:
"shall not call on you for the 800 reward, fo-
case of catarrh. Was very bad" Write
him for particulars. Sold by Druggists, 75c.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-07-10
Children Enjoy

CLERaTMEN are like railway brakemen in
one particular. They do . great deal OF
coup1ing-Ram's Horn
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-07-10

Pam from indigestion, dyspepsia and too
hearty eating is relieved at once by takin0
one OF Carter's Little Liver Pills immes
diately after dinner. Don't forget thia
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-07-10

4 SERMON IL too often transformed into q
highway over which . parson parades his
literary attachments -Atchison Globe
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-07-10

BEST, easiest to use and cheapest. Piso,a
Remedy for Catarrh. BY druggists. 25c.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-07-10
1.usiness-Lfke Pro,nntnes,

Shelf I should, unfortunately, fall
overheard, what would you do?
Held offer reward of $500 for your
recovery, and borrow the money of your
father to pay up with.-Once Week.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-07-10

Tn truth about tho matter Of luck and
pluck seems 70 DO that some men have luek
md some get plueAed. IL
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-07-10

"HE q pillar of the churcha Why, he's
aPerfect fraud" sort Of pillar-sham ~
IN. Y. Herald.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-07-10
4. \. KELLOGG NEWSPAPER Co..

SEQ 4 $40 DEARB oRN ST., CHICAGO. ILL.,
a24 I 22e WALNUT STREET. ST. LOUIS. MO.
?, Z - ONTARIO STREET. CLEVELAND. OHIO
~ 4 ,7e ELM STREET. CINCINNATI. OHIO.
4oi wYANooTTE STREET. KANSAS CITY. MO-
10 4 20 JEFFERSON ST.. MEMPHIS. TENN.
"a TO 30 EAST srH STREET, ST. PAUL, MIMI
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-07-10

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS are always ready to
steak man when he has money.-N O.
Pic2yune
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-07-10

TIE difference between Q sutton and IN
ONCE seeker IL that one pays court and the
other courts pay.-W ashinRton Post
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-07-10
A MUCH-MARRiED KING.
His Majesty of Ashantee Has 1888 Wivei
and 600 Children.

His Majesty of Ashantce Has 1888 Wives
and 600 Children.
Polygamy is practiced to an extrava-
CANT degree in Ashantee. The more
wives man has the higher his social
in private life may have is limited by
his ability to purchase and support
them, but the number of wives. which
the King may have is limited by law
limited to the modest number of 3, 1873 1873,
and it is said that he usually does not
far exceed this limit.
At any rate, he must have more wives
than any of his subjects, or his respecta.
bility will suffer. l was told by the
American consular agent at Elmira that
the present King actually had 1888
wives, and that he had 600 children. All
the King has to do to get wife is to
chose any female he pleases, no matter
how young she may be. Girls are often
chosen when less than ten years old,
and in such cases they are left with
their mothers until of mature age, at
which time they are taken to join the
rest of the 5, 333.
No man is ever allowed to see any OF
the Kings wives, and should he acct.
dentally see one his punishment is
death. These wives during the work.
ing season, attend to the Kings planta-
tions, but the rest of the time they live
at Coomassie, the Ashantee capital,
where they occupy two long streets.
When they 60 out for a walk in a body,
as is often the case, they are preceded
by number of eunuchs, who herald
their coming, that all men may disap.
pear and avoid looking upon them.
When this is impossible they must fall
upon their faces to tho ground
If white man happens to be there,
and understands not the law, the Gu.
nuchs turn his face away from the ad-
vancing women.-Baltimore American.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-07-10
True Economy,

"Mr. Faber," said the old millionaire.
eyes, sir" answered his private Sec
tary.
Here are fifty begging letters. An
swer them all with refusal''
eyes, sir"
"And you will observe that every one
has two-cent stamp enclosed for a re-
ply"
Eyes, SIR
swell, answer them all on POSTAL
:ards. The Jury.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-07-10
OEPENDENTPENSIoN BILL

has become law. 912 Per MONTH to all honorably
discharged Soldiers and Sailors of the late who
are incapacitated from earning q support. Widows
the same, without regard OF death. Depend
Parents and Minor Children also Over
20 years. experience References in all parts of the
country No charge If unsuccessful Write at for
Copy Of Law blanks and full instructions ALL FREE
to II. AcALLIaTER Il ca. Successors to William
Conard Coz, +. u. Box us, Wsshington, ID. O.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-07-10
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS,

The height of fashion and the height
of folly are much alike. -Atchison
Globe.
I've seen her smile, I've seen her weep,
I've called her angel times score;
Now that we've we'd I'vc soen her ,iccp
And, as I've also heard her snore,
Ine'er can call her angel more
Los Angeles herald., 1890-08-24
ATTENTION VOTERS.
OFFICE OF BOARD OF SUPERVISORS,
of Los Angeles County,
Los Angeles Cal Iuly % 1900


Notice is hereby given that q re-regstration
of the voters of Los Angeles county, state of Cal
ifornia, in accordance with section ,O94, ct
seq, Political Code, and the acts amendatory
thereto has been ordered by the board of super
visors under date of July 18th, 1890. Said re-
registration commenced July 2Sth and will
continue eighty-fve days from that date All
voters must be registered.
By order of the board of supervisors of Los
Angeles county, Cal.
]. M. MEREDITH, Clerk
jy3O-5Od By c. w. BLAKE, Deputy.
Los Angeles herald., 1890-08-24
The Los Angeles College.

A visit to the Hanna Los Angeles
college shows active preparation for the
opening of the fall term. Everything is
being got in readiness for the large at
tendance which is indicated from the
number of applications.
The sixth year begins Wednesday
morning, September 10th. The faculty
consists of nineteen teachers, twelve of
whom are in the English department.
They are all persons of experience and
ability. The good work that has been
done in this institution in the past
years is the best guarantee that can be
given for the future. The military and
gymnastic drills are alone worth more
than the cost of tuition. There is no one
thing that attracts people to this coast
more than the character of its schools,
not the number, but the character. South
California is certainly blessed with a
sufficient number, but among them all
there is none that has done the good
work and deservingly gained the good
reputation as the Los Angeles college.
Los Angeles herald., 1890-08-24

Mnngia Released on Habeas Corpus
and Immediately Re-arrested.

The long delayed writ of habeas cor
pus sued out by Pedro Mungia, held by
Justice Savage to answer for grand lar
ceny, came up finally before Judge Che
ney yesterday afternoon. Westcott, the
short hand reporter, being still i'll and
unable to transcribe his note, the evil
dence adduced at the examination was
submitted, by stipulation, from the
recollection of the attorneys in the case.
The whole matter hinged upon the
words told by the prisoner to Sheriff
Aguirre in the presence of Mr.. Fallen :
"Others are implicated. Thomas AL
vitre is one. / expect l am done for
and it is better that should go alone"
He did not say where he expected to
60 to nor what the others were impli-
Gated in. That was all the testimony of
an discriminating nature adduced at the
examination, no connection having been
shown between Reyes who has con-
fessed to the stealing of the sixteen
head of cattle of the Laguna ranch and
the petitioner Mungia.
Judge Cheney did not think that this
admission of Mungia, unsupported by
anything which tended to show his con-
nection with the crime, could be con-
strued as probable cause to hold him
for trial He had given the prosecution
ample time to produce weightier testi
mony if they had any to offer. AS none
was Forthcoming, he would have to dis
charge the prisoner,
AS Mungia stepped out of the courtroom
he was rearrested by Deputy Sheriff
Cline on a new complaint sworn out on
the 18th instant by Joseph Gilbert, the
manager of the Laguna Rancho Farming
company. This new document alleges
that Mungia stole eight head of cattle,
valued at $3.50, from the Laguna on the
23d of June. The prisoner was taken
before Justice Savage, who placed him
under $500 to appear for examination on
Tuesday afternoon.
The two Anaheim butchers accused of
haAing bought the sixteen head of steers
knowing them to have been stolen, were
discharged by Justice Freeman of Santa
Ana.
Los Angeles herald., 1890-08-24
GEE MUST GO.
The Government will Send Him Back
to China.

United States Deputy Marshal Tarble
returned yesterday from San Diego, hav-
ing in custody Chung Gee, an elderly
Chinaman sporting a thick, stubby
moustache and goatee. His travelling
paraphernalia consisted of mattress,
pillow and sundry articles wrapped up
in an old carpet. Chung Gee is accused
of having unlawfully entered the United
States short time ago. He was cap
tured, and after examination before
U. S. Commissioner Ward, ordered to
return to the fowery kingdom. Gees
story is that he is a merchant doing
business at ia Washington street, San
Francisco, and that he had gone down
to Ensenada to collect a debt. His
tale is not believed, as he could have
secured the proper papers to ensure his
return if the circumstances had been
such as he detailed them. The China
man speaks good English. He was
placed in the county jail.
Los Angeles herald., 1890-08-24
IMPROBABLE CUSTOMERS.
It Doesn't Pay to Sell Whisky to the
Red Brother.

Jose Baron, Mexican, was brought
in from San Bernardino yesterday by
United States Deputy Marshal Ralph
Dominique. He is charged with having
sold whisky to an Indian at San Bernar-
dino on the 18th inst. He was placed in
the county Jail in default of $3.50 bail,
pending examination.
Antonio Pietro, who was on complaint
of Albert Juan, an Indian spotter, ar
rested several months ago on the allel
cation that he had sold demijohn of red
Zine to one OF Indian Agent Rusk's
Yards At Redlands, was examined before
United States Commissioner Van Dyke
,,asterdav. The evidence was so con-
A;ct;ne that the defendant was ordered
DISCHARGED.
Los Angeles herald., 1890-08-24
Change Of Firm

Los Angeles, CAL, August LIST, 1890.
DEAR Strive hereby give notice that we
have sold our interests in the "Globe Coffee and
Spice Mills" to MR.. H. BARTNING, who will
continue the business at our present location.
We take this opportunity to express our graft
tude to the trade for the liberal favors and
patronage extended to us in the past, and
solicit continuance of the same for the new
firm. Howry Bros. will collect all outstanding
bills and settle all liabilities of the old firm.
HOWRY BROTHERS.
Referring to the above circular, take pleas
ure in announcing that have this day taken
charge of the business heretofore conducted
under the firm name of Howry Brothers, and
respectfully solicit continuance of your favors
which hope to merit, by keeping my goods at
the same high grade standard. and by strict and
prompt attention to all business entrusted to
me. Respectfully, H. BARTNING