The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1890-12-31

"Is the baroness at homer"
"Yes, sir; walk right up"
"Hadn't You better announce me?'
"No, sir, 1 Il ink not If were to announce
you do not think she would be at home
Fliegende Batter.
An ambitious young man is present at a dis
cussion If the Wi liam Tell myth in a his orlcal
society. "Well 4" observed the Young man, When
the discuss ion IS concluded, 81 should be quite
willing never to have existed, il could only have
achieved such worldwide renown'-Paris Figaro
90 not suffer from sick headache a
moment logger. 1t is not necessary. Carriers
tie Liver Pills will cure you. Dose, one little
pill. Small price. Small dose. Small pill.
81 have thought of one or two clever things 10
my IF tlme." said Willie Washington, but did
not say them.'
"Why not?"
sit wouln have been such disappointment
whenever opened my mouth afterward."-
Washington Post
For internal cramps and external chills, john
sons Anodyne Lniment excels anything in use.
Chairman Brother Skinner submits his resig-
natl n as member of this society. What action
sh Il be taken upon it?
Paramentaran-I move you, sir, tnat the res
ignation be accepted, and that v.,te Of thanks
lie given to Brother Skinner.- Lowell Cit zen.
Salvation Oil will cure any pain to which man is
heir. Only 20 cents bottle.
Dr. Bulls Cough Syrup positively cures coughs,
colds, sore throat, etc. Onl, 20 cts.
Miss Summit Qacetiously)-I am not going to
NEEDLE with YOUR affairs, Mr.. Dash way, bu as
was driving by wellknOwn pawnbroker's ye,-
| terday, saw certain gentleman VINO, must
| confess. bore strong res. mblance TO you.
Dashaway-Indee"i Did you zee his face?
Mis-, sum it'll am afi aid that did.
| Dashaway-Then it couldn't have been me. l
had my back turned.-Tid Bits.
boy stood on the burning deck,
Unwisely too, tits said,
For. with the fast approaching flame,
| His elders quickly fed.
| So, many now in peril stand,
Unmindful Of their fate,
Till, step by step, Grim Death comes on
And then. alas! too late!
| Far wiser, surely, would 1t seem,
When his approach we see.
| With "Perce's Pellets" well in hand
To vanquish old &c. D."
Pieree's Pleasant Pellets have remarkable
power to correct all physical arrangements. thus
/ warding off disease that would surely follow.
| Purely vegetable, pleasant to take, perfectly
harmless! With little fOrethought, they'll be
/ present help in time of need-cheatng the doctor
| and robbing the grave! AS Liver Pill, they are
| unequalled. Smallest cheapest. easiest to take.
One a dose as laxative three or four as a
cathartic. Tiny, sugar-coated granules, in walls;
| 26 cents.
"IIullo, Tom; what's the matter?"
"Got heavy cold, and am so hoarse can
hardly speak,"
taking anything for it2"
eyes; I've taken cod liver oil, tar cordial,
| hoarhound syrup and rum, a bottle of expectoraAt
1 and several other things"
Have you tried lemon juice and sugar?"
"No Blame If I'm going 10 fill myself up with
all sorts of trash. "-NOrristown Herald.
Mrs. Chss. Smith OF Jlmes. Ohio,
writes; have used every RENE dy for sick head
ache could hear Of for the past fifteen years, but
Oarter's Little Liver Pills did me more good than
all the rest.
Wanted change,
| Simpson Whatever induced your uncle to
| ma, nv the widow of a man who was hung?
| Jimpson-He had been married to widows be-
fore and says he was tired Of having the virtues
Of former husband constantly flung In his face.
| Epoch.