davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1890-04-23

have friend Who doesn't 20 to
church himself, bat sends his wife regu-
larly. 7 dined with him last sunday,
and he took advantage Of the cireum-
stance to display her devotional tenden-
cies before company.
~What was the text, Sue9' he asked
~Oh, something somewhere IN genera
tions I've forgotten the chapterand verse
Mrs. Huges sat right n front Of me wear
ing the wors, locking bonnet / ever saw
on a woulan's head
~IIow did you Ike the rev minister %
cob, he's simply superb And IA te
Selwin was there in a seaIskin that never
cost a cent less than si00"
Die he say anything about the new
mission fund -
NO and the Jones girls were rigged
outin their Cd silks made over. You
would have disd laughing to have seen
them
1t seemsto me you didn't hear much
OF the sermon.
The fact Is George, the new minister
has 3 lovely voice it almost put me to
sleep.
4 long silence followed. during which
George absently helped me to pickles
and mgsiar'l, while his wife sat looking
as demure a- q saint at circus. sud
denly she exciaimed-
There knew III forgot to tell you
something The fringe on Mrs Brown.
cape is an inch deeper than mine, and
twice as heavy -Ltns'0rvs w. JON.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1890-04-23
His Faith Returned.


"Look a here" he said, as he ap-
preached officer Button at the depot the
other day, have you any faith left in
human nature?"
"very little, sir, y was the prompt re-
ply.
"YOu look upon most people as dead
beats and sharpers
q do.
"Beat you if they CAM
"They will They'd steal my teeth if
they weren't solid in the Jaw.
~You have lent money once or twice,
presume ?"
"I have, sir.
"And never go. it back 81
"Never.
"well, I've got to tackle you jIst the
same continued the man. Dye see
that woman with the red shawl ?s
Yes"
"She's my bride married last week I;
came in on your bridal tour. We toured
too long for the size of my wallet, and
now lack just four cents Of enough to
buy our tickets home.
"Only four cents2'
"Thai's all. Ifany feiler in Michigan
can plan tour closer than thai rde ike
to meet him.
So would l. Here's a quarter sir,
and that will give you twenty-one cents
for peanuts and apples on the tram.
Car is now ready, sir, and there's the
ticket Office. Go home aad be good and
happy. Detroit Free Press.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1890-04-23
Small Pay Of Preachers.


People who are in the habit Of grum5-
ling about the excessive salaries paid 10
ministers may be surprised at some iis-
ures concerning salaries paid in the
PniIadeiphia conference Of the Method
ist Episcopal Church, which we're read
at the recent meeting Of the Methodist
preachers OF Philadelphia. It WAS stated
that cut Of the 256 members Of the
PhiIaaelphia conferences there we're only
ninety-one who receive $1,000 Or more
salary per year. There are lG5 who get
less than 81 ,0o0 aud forty who get less
than SeoO, the salaries Of some not ex-
ceeding $3.50. The Philadelphia confer
ence Is one Of the oldest in the Methodist
Episcopal church, and IL embraces with
IN its limits many strong appointments
It makes better showing, probably,
than most OF the other conferences II
the Methodist Episcopal church, which
is the largest Protestant denomination in
the country, and Is becoming one Of the
wealthiest, can DO no better FOR its
preachers, what shall be said ef the
painful poverty of the ministers Of many
of the smaller sects2 And what becomes
Of the sneer which 50 olten falls from
the lips Of ignoraEee, at TIE well paid
preachers, who have such an easy time
and who are charged with preaching for
money s--Altosaa Tribune.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1890-04-23
Human influence.

NO human being can come into this
world without increasing OF diminishing
the sum otal Of hsmsn hITpiness, not
only Of lie presenf, but Of every subse-
quent aye OF hln aniiy. No one can de
rach himself from this connection. There
Is no sesiuestered spot in the universe, no
dark niche along the disk Of non-exisa,
enee. to which ne can retreat from his
relations 10 Others where n can with
draw the influence Of his existence upon
the moral destiny Of the world every
where his presence or absence will be
feit-everyW here he VIII have compan-
ions Who viii be better or worse for his
influence. It IS an cid aging. and one
Of earful fathomIess import. that We are
forming characters for eternity Form
ing characteFs-W -Whose7 Oar own OF
others? Bo1h and in that momentous
fact lie the peril and responsibility Of oar
existence Who is sufficient for the
thought Thousands Of my fellow beings
viii yearly enter eternity With characters
differing from those they worId have car
Tied had l never lived The sunlight Of
that world viii reveal my finger-marks
in their primary formations and their
successive strata Of thought and life
E7iAe prrit.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1890-04-23
Disregard ofLIfe.

The people Of no race have such per-
sistent and deep rooted carelessuess in
regard 10 human life as the Chinese.
They are not only capable Of committing
suicide 10 spite an enemy, bat they neg
lect the simplest precautions for preserv-
ing themselves from death. Hundreds
Of families often live in miserable shan
ties on the banks Of some river which is
subject TO overflow, and when the food
rises many Of them are swept into the
writer and drowned.
For week or more there il great
lamentation among the survivors the
priests are kept busy beating gongs and
otherwise propitiating the river god, but
n z very short time the occurrence Is
forgotten New shanties are built, and
other happy-go-lucky creatures occupy
them, knowing well that the same fate
also awaits them.
Not only do these philosophic beings
neglect the simplest means Of securing
their Own safety. but they virtually refuse
to aid others in time Of danger. Should
4 man chance TO fall into the water, where
a Chinese, with the smallest possible
amount Of trouble and without danger 70
himself could save him from drowing
John Chinaman will never entertain the
thought for moment but viii paddle
bis boat away rs quickly As he can--
Vgfrs7I Sar.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1890-04-23
viii carIeton's First Poem.

What may really be called my first Po-
etic effort was written at 10 years Of age,
and was letter in rhyme. My older sis
ter was at boarding school she had
written for some of the p.pers and mag
azines, both in prose and poetry, and |
thought | would show her that she had
not carried away with her all the aiiiatus
of the family. heard of neighboring
young man who could write letters in
rhyme, and so thought would under
take the same feat. did up everything
at the farm and in the vicinity IN choice
doggerel, and mailed it to her. A pre-
eious young goose she must have thought
me. l represented her favorite horse as
about to die Of melancholy, because she
was not there to ride him; told her the
trees and flowers were all perishing be-
cause she was not present to smile upon
them, and killed off two very worthy
and healthy neighbors because their
names happened 10 rhyme with some
word Of a mortusry character. The
whole letter was wildly sepulchral in its
nature, and half amused and halt scared
the young lady. I remember that it
closed with these pathetic lines:
must end my letter
And bring it to close
Perhaps 1t viii be better
To make the next in prose.
The eagerness with which she consen-
ted to this proposition made me fear that
poetry was not exactly my best card.
But she was dear, sweet girl, and upon
her return home she petted and encour-
aged my poor little rhymes much more
than they deserved. The grief of my
boyhood was her death, few years af
terward She would have made her
mark in literature, and l hope is today
writing songs in heaven.-Will Carleton
in Ladies' Home Journal.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1890-04-23
High Title.

A digni6ed looking stranger entered
the ticket Office Of the St. Louis. Iron
Mountain & Southern railroad yesterday
and stated that be wished to purchase
tickets for himself and family to Texas,
ard also wanted to secure rates for the
Transportation Of carload Of household
furniture. Cot Harry Wilson waited on
the gentlemen, and ascertaiaed that his
name was Martin. He negotiated a
trade with him for the tickets. and re-
ferred him tothe freight Office on Monroe
street for information about freight rates.
sthe stranger displayed a goodly roll
Of Doodle it vas incumbent on Col. VIII
son to treat him with the consideration
due his importance, and 50 he told Billy
to take the Colonel over and introduce
him to Mr.. Barley. and be took care 10
lay the accent on the colonel
Rhly got she stranger over to the
freight oHce, and in his politest manner
presented him to VIII BARLEY, as follows.
~1Ir. Barley, allow me TO introduce 10
you Col Martin
The stranger drew himself up haughti-
ly. and striking an attitude. with his
right hand over his LEFT breast pocket
said Il am 40 colonel, young man /
am something higher than that"
Excuse me; I meant to say brigadier,
apolorized Billy.
4 have higher title than that" said
the great man.
Billy was equal to the occasion, and
came again with. Il really meant to say
ms ior general, You know.
He was knocked out again, however,
by the supposed officer remarking with
heightened dignity, which, however, was
soaered by quiet, amused smile "You
have not got high enough yet"
You must be commander-in-cbief of
the army, suggested Billy in doubtful
sort Of tone, but the stranger paralyzed
him by the announcement that he held
q still higher ti,le.
Dl'is Na5 1tdiApet nc ihvusiit tue
distinguished visitor was no other than
the President travelling incog, but be
dismissed thar idea, and then his curiosi-
( ty got the better Of bis reverence, and be
blurred out, Well, who are you, any
way
+ Tire stranger softly replied Il am a
minister Of the gospel, sir, and Billy
tainted dead away, while VIII Barley
made q BALI rate for the divine on ac-
count Of his high title--Mapbs Are-
L..cL
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1890-04-23
A Wonderful Woman.


A very surprising and unusual young
woman is Miss Emily Harper. Of Alexan-
der. \. Y if one may believe the special
relating to her She is said to he IS years
old. TO weigh 10 pounds, Of course she
is pretty and fascinating, and Up to 2
few weeks ago seemed rather fragile. The
first intimation as to any change n her
condition came when she began ic bresk
articles Of table and other domestic ware
in an apparently reckless fashion. She
had always been 4 very careful house
wife-if a young girl can he called a
housewi6e-anl her Iaothsr looked on in
dislnay when she saw Emily take COB
let in her hand TO wipe ii and at once
snap the stem take lamp chimney TO
wipe and crush il into bits.
The mother watched this Kind Of thiug
go on until her croekery was decimaied,
and there was danger that aot enough
would be left to spread the food "a the
next tramp who came that way. Then
she decided that some demon OF destruc-
ton had entered into the girl and pro-
tested against such heedlessness. Em.ly
was an afiectionate child and toek The
rebuke in good part.
Mother dear she said, Il did not
mean to break the things. ] don't know
how it happened Kiss me, mother, and
Z s..fI -. -. =. "a
The good, motheTiy creature extended
her arms and was clasped in the daugh-
ter's embrace. There was q crack , crack
crack q shrill shrek, and Mrs. Harper
fell to the floor with three ribs hugged
apart. Then Emily cried. She did not
mean to do it she had no, put pound
more on the dynameter than had been
registered for the usual family embraces
of ten years. Evidently there was some
thing wrong either with the ribs CT with
the hug Atthe time Of the catastrophe
to bis wife's ribs Harper. pere. was absent
from home and when he returned natur-
ally sought an explanation. Why
father, I did not do anything, said I'm
lily. Il Just did like this and she pro
ceeded 70 hug him. The father was q
devotee Of arnica and was loyal to n
feather bed for week.
It seems, according to this veTacious
ehronicler, thai Miss EmiIy has suddenly
been endowed with almost superhuman
strength, and being ignorant Of her gain
used her muscles as she had been accus-
toned 10 do, with such lamentabie re-
suits. Now she raises a dumbbell
weighing $50 pounds. and losses i from
hand to hand attaches the saae to hel
ankle and raises herself again and again
on trapeze by the use Of only one hand
and "pulls' IlO6 pounds on Platform
scale. Al this with no perceptibIe mus
culGr increase, her arms ana legs being
smooth and girlish as Of old.
The dime museum manageF who fails
TO secure this wonderful phenomenor
should at once engage the man who
wrote the story. such powers should
not be hidden from the public
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1890-04-23

One wss perhaps 2j. the othsr little
younger. They were pretty. aad were
styIishly dressed A carri lge stood at the
Fourteenth street entrance Of Wizards
Hotel awaiting their pleasure. II could
not be supposed that they were in very
distressful financial straits.
They sat It a table in the reception
room ef Wizards. degisinz, coneoetinz.
and instituting telegraohie message q
send to some friend. The elder one dill
The writing. and scratching. aHd reSsit-
ing. which used up ak or seven Wesisrn
Cn;on blanks The younger one leaned
closely over the serivener and furnished
suggestions at Just the right time to make
the scrivener tear up blanks
We will be there to-mOrrow."
That was what they wanted to say.
That was what they did say in the very
first number.
Bat, said the younger. "if We say ve
are coming home We shall both have TO
sign it,
Carrie and Twill be there tomorrow
That was the result Il much mental
effort in composing and much physieal
exertion in er4sing.
L guess that will DO, said the young
er, and the two seemed to breathe win
that freedom which tells Of great respon-
sibilities unsho1liered.
Hold Oh" /" said the elder, at the door.
~what ." asked the other.
Carrie and will be there to-mor-
row.' One, two. three, four, Eve, TX,
seven-OnIy seven words
~well2T
Why, we have 10 pay as much Tor
seven ~or,ls a. We do for ten.
Here was more difficulty Il would
never 10 to pay for ten words and send
only seven. That would be reckless
and wicked waste. They proposed
many ways to lengthen it, but each time
they talked OF new message on their
fingers they found that they had either
/ too few or too many words
Pshaw - exclaimed the younger one +,
q why didn't think Of it before have
itn
Have you WHAT
Why, Of course. Leave it just as il is
and add, Yours very truly,
T II the young lady had had an iuspira-
ton she could not have looked prouder
oft. and as for the older one, she sim
ply looked on the sweet face before her
as that Of wonderful being.
Carrie and viii be there tomorrow
! Yours, very truly" was the message that
went through some operators hands yes
terday afternoon Washington Critic.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1890-04-23
Modern Philosophy.


To-m)rrow makes foolish the things
you have done to-day.
\ pretty woman has her faults, bet she
is never as useless ss a pretty man.
Sorrows are never childless, and every
SORROW is partly wrath.
Some men must have new friends every
month in order to have any friends at
all
Don't expect the child whose youth
made you impatient. 70 be patient With
your old age.
1.-THE national flower is made appro-
pirate 70 the majority Of Us, it will be
wall flower.
II others did not sometimes annoy rs
we would not realize how much We an
noy Others.
The trouble in most guarrels Is that
the person who has given no ofeuse
hastens to give it.
When You don't hear bad things about
a man you USUALLY don't hear much Of
anything about him.
Some men are kept 50 busy J!ushing
for others tha. they have no time left to
blush for themselves.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1890-04-23
Going to Move.

Yes, We are going to move" said a
young woman yesterday 10 friend 81 e
met on the street ear. erred thinks We
need a larger house. a. the children are
getting along. But it is hard work. this
moving. 1t tears things up By the roots
so.7
"But you are glad when it is over ard
you are all settled in a new house and
everything is spick and clean, said Ter
friend.
a I don't know about it. That IS Why
1 haze to leave. There are photographs
on the wall that we cannot take with rs
We've lived in the house ten years, and
there's one strip Of woodwork in the
front room that I would Ike to take with
me-
is it decorated asked the frierd.
with interest.
"Yes. It has the height Of the child
ren notched on it from the first year up
to now. But there's one missing 'Arty
50 high, Is gone. I mean, that-that-
he is the one we lost. and that recorl Of
five years is-ail-that's left.-
The tears were running d)wn I er
cheeks. Her friend took ont her hand
ksrchief. A chord had been toucned
that vibrates in many hearts.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1890-04-23
SOMERSET PA wEDNEDAY. APRIL 2s 1890.
ah, give me word here, you cannot re

ah, give me q word here, you cannot re-
pudiate.r
@That's fact" the msior admitted
"Will y,u call herr"
The majors face grew Hvid with rage,
but he called Zalie. She came out, but
when the Cuban was presented, she bow
ed with charming grace.
A very handsome girl, = said the Gu
ban. She has many fine points"
" Sir y thundere,s the major. springing
10 his feet.
No offense. Will my friend. the gen.
eral, explain the object of my visit ~
"I will" the general answered, but
would first like to send for a friend OF
mine, Mr.. BickIes"
Ny time is limited will the gener-
al explain p
The general explained the girl listen
ed with deep interest. Oh, how roman
tic she said, how charmingiy uncom-
mon. SIR extending her hand toward
the Cuban, I'll go with you"
what ~ the major roared, go with
this barbarian No, not if he had fifty
plantations"
a contract, signed by gentleman,
the Cuban said, us a document Of
honor"
The major sat down. You are right,
he said, you are right, but | don't I'M
derstand my daughter don't understand
her. thought she was woman OF
pride, but l don't understand her, at
ALL"
do" said the Cuban. He snatched
off his false whiskers and long hair, re-
vealing the familiar features Of Bickles
The msjcr snorted ike a frightened
horse. For several moments he could say
nothing. Then he turned upon the
general.
You old-old-"
Hold on, major" said the general
laughing. Here is the money the Gu
ban won from you on the boat"
The msjor took the money, and tuck
ing it in his vest pocket, remarked
Bickles, you've got more sense than
thought you had, and I reckon I'll have
to stand by my contract"
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1890-04-23
His Prayer Answered.

A certain Chicago coal man eni oys
nothing more than he does romp with
his two pretty boys. After supper every
night he has great fun with them One
evening last veek his wife was taken
sick, and he cut short the usual romp,
much to the disappointment ofthe boys,
who had been looking forward all day
to his 1 ome-c ming. He told them it
was time far them to 90 10 bed, and, like
obedient boys, they walked off without a
word of remonstrance. Silently they
disrobed, prepared to retire The larger
boy said his prayers and found his way
between the sheets. Then the little fel-
low down by the bedside, uttered bis
prayer and added: Please God, make
papa funny some more" And the faith
er, who had been waiting just outside the
door TO see that they retired all right,
overheard the petition and went in and
gave his TWO boys another romp The
little fellow then retired in the firm be-
lief that his prayer had been answ ered---
Chicago Herald.
---------- o . -------------
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1890-04-23
THE BEST WE CAN.
aY EBES E. nKxFoRD,


When things don'tgo to suit us.
Why should we fold our hands,
And say. No use in trying,
Fate battles all our plans
Let not your courage falter.
Keep faith in God and mar.
And to this thought be steadfast-
I'll do the best can"
If clouds blot out the sunshine
Along the way you tread,
Don't grieye in hopeless fashion
And SIGH for brightness fed
Beyond the clouds the sunlight
Shines in the Eternal Plan
Trust fhe way will brighten,
And do the best you can.
Away with vain repinings
Sing songs nf hope and cheer,
Till many weary comrade
Grows strong of heart to hear.
He who sings over trouble
Is aye the wisest man.
He can't help what has happened,
B0t-does the best he can.
So, if things won't go to suit US,
Let's never fume nor fret
For finding fault with fortune
Ne'er mended matters yet.
Make the best of whate'er happens ;
Bear failure Ikea man;
And IN good or evil fortune
Do Just the best you can.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1890-04-23

rare curiosity Is owned in hoI K
T. l.. by Miss Ida Colvin- ], Is a ilaTfz
Mountain canary which talks. Il was
brought 10 its present home about the
same time a young parrot vas purchased.
The two birds have been j. their respec-
tive cages. side By side sl'sys, and while
the parrot has caught se.uss Of the sing
ing notes Of the canary, the iztier has
learned 10 enune'sis plainly from its
feathered friend. II h2s learned TINS
far only two sentences. which are ~sWeef
little Dickey bird and 80. poor Billy, =
but they are spoken With startling dis
tiactness and intoastion.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1890-04-23
100 Acres. 37th Year.
OF PARTITION.

"RlI Or HAkllllON.
70 Andrew Eunket and John Kunkrl resid-
ing IN -tanycIeek T0wssliu. Cambria Go
Pa c0nrad k1nkei. Iesl.ilnE 81 hlsf aur
Toxushtp f.amisria c01ffy - brlStsh
Euut.i reSi6lnR a. EefcnaTHv. Beaver Co..
Ia sds.u Euakci. fesiiiBg a John tawr.
Rr-ss Anu Kuukel fnscruarrfed Hslh i0hr
6.ebhars residing i1 IehaztoTn. Pa. Mary
Knrkcl iniermarried with John Fees resi-
ding IN Cambria Township Canibria cy. IA
yots are hereby notifed hat N pursuance II a
vrlt of Partition issued out OF the Orphans Cont
AZ somerset County. Pa, and = me = eirecled,
vii hold an inquest On the premises on the real
tairt Towushfp eornerset County. Pa. Oh Fri
dev the i5lh day of May. iseo, when and where
s.sis can attend II you think TroDer-
- . isn Sheriff
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1890-04-23

The importation Of pure bred homes
from England into this country Is rsrer-
ted as on the increase.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1890-04-23

The Prussian Diet = sauerkrtu: and
sausages.
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1890-04-30
wrestling Match.

SAN FRANCISCO, April 29.h.-In the Kolb and
lean wrestling match FOR a 500 trophy at the
thrown in two straight fails. 1t was a catch as
catch caa match.