Morning journal and courier., 1890-03-05
R E ID HOT.

"Thers are some things it is better not to
 dwell on"-a red hot stove, for instance -
 Terre Haute Express.
 'I'll meet you when the son goes down."
 said the banana peel to the pantaloons.-
 American Commercial Traveller.
 A cold day is good deal like a horse
 car. A man can always catch one when
 he doesn't want it.-Yonkers Statesman.
 He-"There's a man who will do anything
 for money" She-'It is simple gratitude, do anything for him. m."-Life. A woman may not be able to hit nail on the head with hammer, but when
 she throws rolling pin or fiat iron her aim is usually true.-Boston Courier. Ted-She still loves me.
 Ned-How do you knowi
 Ted-When she returned my presents she prepaid the express charges. Critic. A lady who keeps boarding house in this city is disposed to feel unfriendly towards the young Englishman who took occasion at breakfast to refer to Hash Wednesday, Washington Post.
 An American Ignoramus.- -Wilkins- 1 "Who is going to be nominated fer that po- I've not been drinking much lately and
 haven't kept posted. ."-Puck. Neighbor-"I hear your master has mar ried again and is taking bridal tour." Dad. | dy Mose-"Don't know bout him taking a bridle to dis 'un, boss; but he did tex a paddle to his fust wife, shure. ."-Texas Sift-
 ings.
 A Good Peacemaker.-Mamma (to Tommy -"Tm sorry you and your sister quarreled over that orange, and that James had to inc terfere. Whose part did he take?" Tommy
 "Whose part! He took the whole orange" -Harper's Bazar. "Do you see that man over therev' said one rural visitor in tho house gallery to another. "The one who was jest speakin'F'
 "v-s. He was once famous Know Noth- ing" "Well, he don't seem to be clean over
 it yet. Washington Post. "Yes, sir, it is a great problem-how we are going to keep the streets clean, ]" said the absent, minded man as he slowly walked
 along with clouded brow. And then he threw the scraps of the letter he had been
 tearing up into the gutter.-Puek. One on the lecture bureaus. "We had a little trouble making up our lecture course this year." said one of the committee in a college town. "because we are securing our speakers through two breweries, and their dates are apt to conflict. ."-Brooklyn Eagle. Two busy doctors meet and speak of the influenza. "You must have plenty of work, ]" says one. "Don't speak of it," replies the other, "I am absolutely played out. The patients are killing their doctors at present. /" Revenge is sweet" the other retorts.-Le Figaro.
 Bummer-"oouldn't yer gimme the price l of drink, bossl I'm chilled through" !" Parrott (stifdy)-"No, not one cent of my money goes for liquor" Bummer-"Credit,
 eh! Let's go together, then, to de saloon where yer have such pull as thatl"-Texas Siftings.
 Weary Raggles-''I'm very hungry, sir, ,an' if you'd give dime fer ter git" Museum l Hungry, ehi You're just the
 man want. There's pie-eating contest
 going on inside, but in order to keep up ex-
 citement we must change the eaters every
 now and then when the room is cleared. You
 look like one of them, and you can take his place in few moments. I'll pay you g ar hour for the work" Weary Raggles (reluc
 tantly backing soE)-"Td 'av accepted that
 offer if yer hadn't called it work."-Puck.