Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1890-10-19
CRAFTY DAN.
BE GAVE TWO DOCTORS DOSE OF THEIR
OWN MEDICINE.
Thew Fooled Him, but he Made Them Very
Sorry For Il and in the End Got the
Best Of the Joke.
CnPYHIGHTEn.

ANNA' 4 MUM A.As
Two doctors. while returning from a
meeting of the county medical society,
stopped for nights rest az the house
of Dan Morgan. The physicians, DrS.
Theodore Flint and Tobias Weed, were
men of such advancement in years that
il is but just to say that they had as
sisted i'm shutting of many mortal
coil. To them there was never any adj
vancement i'm medical science. CalOmel
was good for one thing ana quinine was
good for everything else. and that was
the end of il. Old Dan. though he
stood well ina the cOmmunity'S esteem.
was not a fayOrite with the doctors, Tor
he looked upon the practice OF medl-
cine with a sort Of Sneering SceptlciSm
and had been known 20 declare in a tone
of contemptuOuS pity that doctors were
harmless enough when let alone. Upon
the strainug of q point of good nature,
20 say nothing of discretion, the doctors
could forgive this declaration, but they
could never get over the fact that the
old man had permitted his son All, who
had been stricken down with danger
Gus illness. 20 get well without the ad-
vice of q physician. Flint and Weed
would not have taken shelter with old
Dan had not a dark cloud given warning
that shower was on it's way TO meet
them.
..We1l make the most OF il. said
Flint when the old man had gone out TO
care for the horses. Il wish we could
hatch up some plan by which we could
make the old reprobate yell for medical
help. He has injured our reputation
more than an the fatal cases Of swamp
fever that ever came into the neighbOr-
hood Why, he has such influence over
the DicksOus that they haven't sent for
me this year
Il wish we could tone him down a
little. He is not bad fellow, aside
from his enmity 90 our profession.
NO, aud if we could only get him on
our side medicine would have a boom In
this community. our people, you know,
are inclined 90 send for a doctor every
slime they have pain. but hold of
through fear of old Dams ridicule. Say,
TN tell YOU what we better do: We'd
better fla mp some sort of dose for him
and give 60 10 him on the Sly-Somcthing
thatll make him So deathly sick that
he'll think his earthly career is closing.
Then. after seeing him suffer awhile,
we relieve him and receive his everlaSt-
ing thanks"
That's "a frSt-rate idea. but how can
we manage it?'
.'Tu fX 10. Hush, here he comes.
''I wouldn't be surprised if we had
snow instead of rain, said the old fell
low, entering the room and holding his
hands over the fire. THE wind has
begun 20 whistle a mighty cold tune.
-cckon you gentlemen want snack 20
eat, don't you?'
Yes. IL TO will not be too much
rouble" DIR. Weed answered.
.'Oh. no trouble at all. The women
'olks have gone away from home, and
you'll have 90 put up with what ! can
DO for YOU. but that won't Doe no trouble.
I'll fX the table right now.
The doctors win6ed at each other.
They had sat down 90 the table and
had begun to eat when Dan turned TO
scOld "a demonstrating bulldog that
threatened 90 snatch boiled ham of
the table just then DR.. Flint dexter
OuSly poured something into the old
mans cup of coffee.
There's great deal of sickness in
the neighborhood," said Flint, when
Dan resumed his eating.
"Yes, and a certain complaint re-
marked Weed. lis about TO become cpl
demic. The victim is seized with yio-
lent sickness 40 the stomach. and unless
prompt medical attention is secured the
sufferer is likely 90 die. one old fellow
was taken day before yesterday. He
was something of a learned man. and
had studied medicine just enough 90 dis
pute It's efficacy. He saw his error,
however, but too late for he died before
the doctor could reach him.
If he hadn't done that he would have
died mighty soon after the doctor did
reach him, old Dan spoke mp.
1--WE can't tell. p" said Flint. but we do
know that every one that has received