Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1890-09-06
The rr,.,. In an Ordinary conrs.h.r.
A great manv i, eople marry.

A great many feop'e marry.
A great many people want to marry
who do not succeed.
Marriage is a lottery, marriage is
failure. wiseacres tell us, but still the
wedlock bu,iuess goes right on, and no.
body seems to be afraid.
But did you ever stop TO consider
how many az varied are the trials in
even an ordinary courtship?
The Young man who fixes his affec-
lions o y"ung lady. ought to be full
Of courage, aad to be possessed Of a
heart for any fate.
The susl sen he suffers while she is
making up ner mind is something
dreadful 1t take, away his appetite
it ales his cheek-it makes him
telld to his washer, oman if bis collars
are not prof cry starched though why
young lady should care whether a
Young gentleman's collars were starched
still as board, or timber as dish
cloth, we never could understa, d. He
i , me aaeholy, or buovant, just as she
happens to smile on him; he is ready
for an cary grave, or prepared to con-
quer the whole world, a the case may
bet is all Just rs she wills! He
losses on sleep ess pill ow all night,
and exhausts the paiieace of his women
folks by lying abed the next forenoon
to sleep it of.
He looks at the moon, and sits out in
the damp night air with her, to listen
to the melody of the melancholy whip
poor will, and lays the foundation for
rheumatism or bronchitis. He doesn't
care cent for base ball. His bicycle
that once he worshiped, rusts against
the wall. What is a bicycle to him,
now? She can't ride it
Perplexing and soul narrowing con
undrums tear his brain. Will she
accept him? Does she love him? Does
she care for Jones? Can't she see how
red Jone, hair is? Has she noticed
that Smiths mustache is dyed? What
will her father say 1t is true that her
mother fancies Jonesf If 80, would he
be justified in shooting Jones? Can he
! afford the money for diamond engage
ment-ring? Does she admire the per-
fume he uses? Will she ever be his
Where shall their wedding trip be
Will they keep house? How many
times ought he to propose before he
gets discouraged? is it true that
woman means yes when she says MOP
He is wretched when she dances with
another man. He has murder in his
heart when she drives by with her city
cousin. He would die for the privilege
of being her pug dog which she holds
ON her lap and kisses. The iron enters
his soul when she declines his ice-cream,
and takes clam chowder with Jones.
/ Confound Jones How he would like
to try the slow and lingering torture OF
an electric execution on him.
He writes scores of love-letters TO her,
and tears them up. One good lover is
| q mine of wealth TO the stationer in his
'sysn. Better than two lawyers and one
,.>s9bor.
He vows he will never go near her
again. Let her eat chowder with Jones
if she wants tol Let her eat it till the
! crash of doom, for what he cares
| What's to hinder?
He will ignore woman henceforthi
/ Yes, sir No more of the false, tickle
/ sex for himi If she should kneel Mt his
feet and beg for the hair his barber
clipped off to-day, he would refuse her
4 If she lay dying. he would not go to
her bedside, and tell her that he for
gave her
/ He will cast himself into the deep,
dark, slowly flowing river, and to-
morrow he will be iished out, with
weeds in his hair, and the pallor of
death on his brow, aud then-ah, then |
she will feel the uadying remorse
Of
But Just then he meets her, rosy and
FIRE h as the morning, all bushes, and
smiles, and tenderness. She lays her
hand on his arm, and lifts her soft eyes
to his face, and the whole world
changes! The leaden skies are painted
with gold the wailing wind changes to
pean of victory in the tree-topsl The
dismal river which was to drown him q
moment ago, becomes II sparkling cur
rent of life and beauty--the earth puts
on glory that is from Heaven above,
and all because she has smiled on him,
and is not eating chowder with Jones
any more KATE Thorn, IN N. y.
4 WeehiU.