Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1890-04-10
aYENIye ECHOES.

about my uncle and the snaksP ?" 5wsd-
dles-You did, my boy, and I'd rather
believe it than hear II again. Harper's
Weekly
In New York local court on Tuesday
o Chinanlan who WAS called as witness
took the oath by lighting psrlor match
and blowing it cut. No one could mako
lighter of an oath than this. Pht,adsl-
pltia Ledger.
Some papers appear to be greatly eK-
cited because scientist has discovered
that there ia en- ice worm which feeds
upou that very useful article and renders
II unfit for use, but as we have fire. bugs
why should we net have Joe worraa.
Tramp with tears in his syes)--I do
not ask you fos money, sir, but what
would you think il should tell you that
have bad nothing TO eat for As hours,
and my poor wife and children are now
starving in the street Practical Oitizan
I'D think you were liar. Good morn
ing Washington Star.
Prospective employer - 'What pay
have you been getting" Applicant
(from Boston, -''Do you slluds to the
remuneration hitherto awarded me in
recognition Of my Hsrvicesin yep"
''In the neighborhood Of ~, 900 year."
"Well, what waH your pay 2" -Four
dollars q week. "-Ohicdgo Aeios
81 psy you dot cold caah for your store
und now Moses Grapsnheimer say he
hsfe shattsl mortgage on it." "Vell,
| you puy eberythings on dose shelves an
counters, don't it ?" "Yaw, dot vas 3d."
"Vsll, dot shatthl mortgage vas on dose
4 shelves 10 counters dot five years."
''No use telkin' TO me 'bout lsyin' up
money for rainy day. said Uncle EDO,
addressing an attenti.e group; mo use
talkin' dat way wild sieh luck az / always
hab. Why, great Scot If was to lay
up money for rainy day, we'd hRb .
drouth for 40 ears. No sab; you don't
ketch dis niger in dat aort O. trap"
''Isher most 'mark'bie ahing," said Mr..
Lushley, leaning himself against lamp
post, after several lapses from perpendic-
ulaFity. "Heresh thish worP bin goin'
roun' an roun' for all thesh years at er
frighttul rate of sp.peed, an thish ish er
first time I ever knew it rot TO run
shmooth, Shombodys bin putin tie
on tho track. y Washington Post.
Mr.. Pyne, the noted home ruler, always
declines to say what discontinued tenants
who come to him complaining of their
|
plains, ''Mr. BGlfour says that it would
be illegal, but can tell you the time of
day" Thea he pull out his watch and
shows it to the tenant Gu the dial face
is the bold legend: "psy no rentw
CULTURE.
She was dainty western miss,
To stock yard toll her dad che saw go,
And many swain saw future bliss
In modest Ellen Hogg, Chicago.
But when she came to Boston town,
To study cultures moods and lenses;
This ia the way her name went down:
Helene De HoRge, uhicagoensis,"
-Ne,o York Saturday Reuiew.
Signs OF Spring-Migs Urbis-"Oan
you tell me where l can get some cro-
cusea?" Farmers Boy-"Weil, mum. if
yer good an spry, ye kin catch some
down in the swamp yondef." HCateh
some! Why, what do you mean ?" "Bull-
froRs!" II didn't nak for bullfrogs ~
you didn't, eb? Well, ii builfrogs amt
crosk- cusses, miss my guess !'-LaD-
renee American.
"Why doa't you go to work ?" she
asked Of the tramp. 81 am a-working,
lady," eat whAt2 You show no signs
of it, "So matter for thst, mum. Pm
n-working as travelling adyer. for q
soap firm. I'm the Before Using card,
and my partner around the corner repre-.
cents the After Using' end Of tina CON-
biaetion. Thank you, mum."-PhilGdei-
pltia Tines.
Not ready to report -Reporter Ito In
diana woman who bias married her ninth
husbRnd)-Would you have any objec-
ton, madam, to telling me whether or
not you consider marriage failure
Indiana woman (severely)-I don't know
whether it is or not, young man. but Pm
go to find out, il il takes every man this
side OF Terry Eut.-GtjoEs0 Tribune.
Tho Washington Post remarks hat
Adam "mereiy went to the nearest frnit
tree, plucked nice pineapple snd pre-
sented it to Eve with his compliments"
The fora OF the G.sien Of Eden has
never been described excspt in general
way by John Milton, The thanks OF
botsnists aud hortiouiturists is due this
Post for the information tnGt in thoss
days pineapples grew on trees. IN. Y.
Erenia9 Telegram.
! Mrs Hobbs (pArent Of an infant terror
and several half-growu terrors)--"W ell,
Mr.. Hobbs, since you are 90 dissstisd sd
with the way l am raising our darling
Willie, may be you will condsscend to in
form me how yon would raise boys"
Certainly, every boy ought to
be kept in hogshssd sad fad thsough
the bnng hole until he is IL years of age"
"And when he reaches the age of l2?'
"Stop up the bung-hote. films.
~ assure you, gentlemen" said the
convict upon entering the prison, "thst
this place hiss sought me and not the
plnes. Ny own affairs really demanded
all my tins and attention, and ! nsy
tsuiy say that my selection 50 I'LL this
position was ala entire surprise. He'd
consulted riy OWE interests shuuld have
peremptorily declined to serve; but 81 l
am in the hands Of ray friends, see No
otho1 ceGrss bot 10 su6mit.n Ana he
submitted. London ElchGRgs,
Mr.. Morgenshau--I vas aArait wasn't
or.hndox sc-say, Laah Mrs. No-senthau
Vat yoa hGt 3Gae, Solomon kiS. Nor
gspthsu Vail l Gsi tohat s. business talk
init Hr. Brown, uud expected to sell
HIM dot job lot OF Combs ct 20 per cent
profit. he Eassd mo 70 90 TO lunch NIT
BIN. airs. MGrsenthAu--How did you
say you vas not orthodox, Solomon Mr.
Morgenthau-Vl TO disarM his suspi-
, oioDs, ordered roast PORK. AMERICA.
~ contributed a poem to the Century
last month" remarked young DsPeystsr,
proudly. "You did n exsisigna6 friend.
! II didn't see it in the magazine" No."
said Mr.. DpPeys'er. "It will not be
printed ct all. The editor wEots to me
! that its merits were such that lie was un-
willing 70 share it with ell tire world, but
il was willing, he would like to resp