Beverly banner. [volume] (Beverly, N.J.) 1877-1964, 1890-03-08
How Toddles Proposed.

Mr.. Toddles arose one morning in
very melancholy mood. 1t was hi
forty-ffth birthday, and he was still
bachelor.
"Time is flying" he said. You'll
has gone. have nothing to look fol-
ward to but a miserable single life at
boarding house. Why have l nevel
married 1t is too late now"
"Toddles you in ?" cried voice a
the door. Il want to consult you"
Come Income in" replied Tod
dies, and the door opened to admit a
tall gentleman, with head like the
popular portraits of Shakespeare and a
beard which he trimmed in the way
best calculated to impress the Likeness
ON all beholders.
He wore very snowy little smok-
ing jacket and cap to match, and
carried in his hand roll of manu-
script and a stylographic pen. He
looked what he was-a literary man
His serials, where of the most romantic
sort were read with avidity by all the
young ladies who subscribe for the
Weekly Getsher, or who bought it at the
stands or stationers stores or borrowed
it Of their neighbors. His heroes were
never more than two and twenty; re-
sembled, according to description, the
wax figure with which hair dressers
decorated their windows smoked con-
sUantl y and all possessed silk night
gowns and slept on their handkerchiefs
and decorated their button holes with
hot house plants, and had only to
double their fists and shake them at
any man in order to make him fall as
fiat as the walls of Jericho In fact /;
they were even mixtures of the Apollo
Belvidere and the dandy Of the time
of The Spectator, with some of the stuff
that goes to the making of the hero of
the modern prize ring However, the
girls like them and many a married
dame sighed over the romance and
wished that her prosaic John was more
Of that pattern.
Good morning, Toddles, old fell
low" said Mr.. Sparkle, genially.
"Here | am, coming for advice again
Whenever | want genuine advice |
come to you.-You have literary taste.
It's a confounded pity that you are
rich. Toddlcs-you d have made your
mark with your pen else. Well, you'll
advise me p
Il shall be delighted, I'm sure" said
Toddles- ;'delightedl But you fatter
me-"
Not at all, responded Mr.. Sparkle.
breakfast is not ready yet; I'll just
read this TO you, if you don't mind.
I've taken a new departure in the
Sentative introduced an old fellow"
How old?' asked Toddles.
Thirty" responded Sparkle-"al-
most thirty"
'Now, | call that young" said Tod
dies
"Of course, in real life," said
Sparkle. "Forty is young, to all in
tents and purposes. But literary age
is very different. 1t would blast an
authors reputation to make a heroine
out Of her teens or hero out Of his
twenties. This thirty-year old is an old
bachelor who has long adored certain
lady, and remains unmarried for her
sake. She is going down into the vale
Of years-fve aud twenty of 'em-a
spinster for love of him. Neither
gues5es the love Of the other-good
ell ?"
VERY" said Toddles.
Now, the question is, said Sparkle,
"whethe1 to unite them or TO have her
confess her love for him beside his
death bed"
The latterp cried Toddles, enthusi-
:: ,ically, "But have him recover after
:. / and then marry en-
Sparkle started up and grasped Tod
,iles hand,
Magnificent" lie said. "You al
Ways have original IDEAS
He sat down at Toddles' desk and
l, gan to lance his stylographic per
lto the air in furious manner highly
{; digestive OF delirlum tremens. How
. yer, Toddles was not alarmed he
new that he was only getting his per
iato working order.
"Ah !" he said, as drop of ink APP
peared at the point of the instrument
--here we are at last !" he jotted dowr
a memorandum, and then wheeled
about. "Let me read you this" h,
said; 81 think you will like it. NJ
hero is soliloquizing- imagining tina
he is declaring his love-,lhem !" anC
Mr.. Sparkle pushed his smoking cal
TO the back of his head, smoothed hi
Shakespearean beard with his hanC
and began
Beloved one-Nay, start not; lon!
have | called thee so in my SOUL
as he a Quaker?" inquired MI
Toddles.
mo, no; l always use thee an,
thou for strong love passages" re
piled Sparkle. "Seep p
ooh, yes" replied Toddles. "Ho1
4 stupid Of me !"
mot at ALL" said Sparkle. "Le
me see: Beloved one-Nay, start moi