Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1890-03-28
ELIZA ANN'S ADMIRER.
BY CLARA AUGUSTA.

l guess you never heard tell oil Lizy
Ann, did you2 She's my oldest darter,
and if l do say it, you can't find higher
eddicated girl in Kenboro'. She's eddi-
Gated clear up to the top notch. Jere-
miah, that's her pa, sed to me about
three years ago, sed he. 'Algiry, I've
got an ldee."
''Hold on to it. sed /, ''till you get
another one to match up with it, or you'll
lose 1t, it'll be so lonesome"
jeremiah wuz a-pulling off his boots at
the time, and he'd been moving in the
medder and they stuck to his stockings
and riled his temper.
"Drat them boots," sed he, ez he stood
on one foot and pulled away fer dear
life on 'tother boot, II wish the man that
invented boots had to eat 'em!"
"He'd have to wear liver pad all the
rest of his life" sed Il. and l looked at
my husband with my earnest smile, the
one | use when my minister calls and
when I'm attending the weekly prayer
meeting. and ] added Jeremiah, at
your time of life you should not let your
temper run away with you. Perfanity
don't go we'll with gray hairs"
"What kind of hairs does it go well
with:" snapped jeremiah, and he gave
that off leg of his a sudden jerk that
made him lose his balance, and down he
went rite ON to an ottoman. where Lily
Ann had sot couple of pie-plates that
she'd painted some long-legged rusters
and some bushes and water on, and he
smashed them plates all to flinders!
"Where's your idee?" sed 1 to him
when he'd got up and wiped the blood
from the finger that he'd cut on that
broken crockery on to the white bed
spread.
81 was a-going to say, Algiry,' sed
he, "that thought our Lizy Ann had
better go few terms to the femal SEM
ernary. 1t kinder polishes gal off and
learns her how to act when she's into
company. Now there's Mulligan's daugh-
ter. see how she's got finished off since
she went to that Boston school! Why,
the critter says more dictionary words
than our minister, and she sings 'em
round as if she wasn't afraid of 'em, and
as If there was plenty more of 'em, too"
''Seems to me, jeremiah" sed I,
''that Lily Ann had better learn how to
cook and sew them to go to wrestling
with Greek and Latin This ere paint
ing craze that she's got is enough tc
drive anybody into the lunytick hospital.
She's painted almost everything in the
house, and yesterday she began on the
bean pot, and had got two screech owls
and the new moon daubed onto it afore
seen her."
But jeremiah he was dreadful sot.
The Papleys is an awful sot family, take
'em together, and jeremiah is about the
sottest of 'em all. So Lily Ann was sent
off to the semernary, and got Polly
Mariah Jones to help me with the house
work.
Lily Ann stayed at the semernary two
year. and then she come home to live.
Mebby you don't know what it is to have
an cddicated female darter in the house?
It's worse than having the measles and
mumps, or almost anything else that ever
come acrost.
Lily Ann she wouldn't get up to break
fast because it made her head ache. She
couldn't eat billed cabbage for dinner
because it disagreed with her digestive
organs. She couldn't walk anywhere be-
cause she he'd the spines in her back,
and high heels on her shoes. and there
didn't seem to he much OF ANYTHING she
could do, except Law abed and read
novels. Nou see, the fact of it was she'd
Jest gone to work and dedicated all the
brains she had clean out Of herl