davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1890-03-24
JAS. F. METCAIFE.

Against cer tain class of jokes-such as those applying to the mother-in-law' tho clearinghouse keeper and other unfortunate people. the taboo Is rigid.
 The worst evils against which the editor of "Life' has to contend are joke waves and the fond parent. When ever a topic of general interest comes up joke wave sets in. The most recent instance of this is certain maladv which has recently afflicted the country and which was unfortunately known as ''la grippe' and 'inhuenza.' These names were responsible for joke wave of hugo dimensions. Imagination would pale before the statistics of the plays upon ''la grippe'' -''masonic grip 'the cable-car grip'' and ''death grip" which were offered for a reasonable compensation to the editor of Life" Next in number wore the puns on influenza. A favori te form was to the effect that some one left the window open and in flew En]a.' Il would like your influence. sir" was second in the race, and there were a number of very bad thirds. The pre- vailing joke wavo deals with Nellie Bly's trip around the world, and bids fair to be almost as severe as the grip epidemic.
 The fond parent is rather trying to a | bachelor editor. If the editor of Life were a married man he might exhibit a fonder interest in the sayings of ''oul little Willie," or dwell longer over the manuscript of the admir.ng mother who starts with "this morning at break fast, while grace was being said, my little daughter May, aged A." etc. 4 peculiar characteristic of the fond par ent is that the moro sacrilegious the utterance of the child-and children's clever sayings are usually based on the sacrilege which comes from ignorance = the funnier it seems to them. Il Life printed half the matter sent iT by fond parents it would soon achieve the reputation of being the most blas phemous sheet in the world.
 There is one thing though that can not escape the notice of the editor oi any American humorous publication and that is that American humor is al most without exception kindly ane ohivalrous. Quick as the American 1! in his appreciation of the weakness and vulnerability of his kind, natura or an unavoidable misfortune or weak ness disarms him completely. In thu enormous mail that comes to me ther' is little that is spiteful. envious or i'll natursd. JAMEs g. METoA4E1.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1890-03-24
RAGING WATERS.
The Monongahela Reaches the Highest
 Point and is Doing Damage.

The Monongahela Reaches the Highest
 Point and is Doing Damage.
 PrrTsBURG, Pa, March 24.-Twenty- four feet was the stage of water shown on the marks in the Monongahela and Allegheny rivers this morning, 22 1-2 feet at Davis Island dam and almost at standstill. This was the highest point reached. Rivermen do not now anticipate a higher stage of water, re- ports from up-river points indicating that the water will soon begin subsid- ing.
 In this city and Allegheny many cellars and first floors of business houses and residences along the river fronts are more or less flooded, but no serious damage to property or loss of life has been reported. The new grounds of the Players League Ball Club in Exposition Park are several feet under water and will no doubt be the worse for the flooding. Traffic on the Pitts burg & Western Railroad between Pitts burg and Sharpsburg is temporarily suspended. Pittsburg and Western trains, however, arrive and depart regularly from the Allegheny depot of the West Pennsylvania Railroad.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1890-03-24
Bishop Esher's Suspension.

READING, Pa., March 24.-Rev. F. Smith, of Lebanon, the Secretary of the Committee which tried and deposed Bishop Esher of Chicago from office, will notify all the conferences of the Evangelical Church in America and Germany that Esher has been suspended as Bishop and preacher.
 It was also decided to send Bishop Esher a copy of the notice. Bishop Esher gave public notice recently that he was still Bishop inasmuch as although Bishop Bowman had been de- posed in Chicago, he still continued in office Unless the Courts are appealed to, Esher says he will do the same as Bowman
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1890-03-24
THE FLACK VERDICT
The COnspiratOrs Found Guilty
 as Charged.
TALK ABOUT THE SENTENCE
The Jury's Recommendation for Mere, May Keep the Sheriff Out of Prison.

Gov. Hill nNon-CommittaJ About Removing Presence in the Jury Room May Secure New Trial-roliticians Figuring to Obtain the Office.
 NEW YORK, March A.-The conviction of Sheriff James A. Flack, his son Will and Referee Joseph Meeks for conspiring to obtain fraudulent divorce is the talk of the city.
 There is much speculation as to the kind of sentence Judge Barrett would impose when the convicted persons shall be brought before him. Owing to the recommendation of mercy made by the jury it was the universal opinion that the full penalty of twelve months imprisonment and $500 fine would not be imposed in any one of the cases. Indeed not few thought that the fine only would be imposed, and the con- victed misdemeanants escape imprison- ment altogether.
 But the latter is not the view taken by some lawyers, and they believe that Judges Barrett must sentence to inn prisonment, no matter how brief the term.
 There is still the possibility that Judge Barrett may grant the request
 
 afford consel for the convicts to present points of law, but if he do not granat "certificate of doubt" he must sen- tence there and then. Messrs. Fullerton, Russell and Bird have made up their minds to appeal the case. Supposing | the Judge should sentence the Sheriff, | Will and Meeks to six months impris- | onment, they would have served out their time before the appeal would be decided by the courts alone. | At any rate it is believed that Meeks will get a lighter sentence than the others as he has made some show of a | defence.
 Prominent lawyers declare the con- viction of Sheriff Flack does not oper- ate as forfeiture of his office. Even though he may be a prisoner on Black wells Island, he will still be the sheriff of the county until removed by Cover nor Hill. The law does not provide who, in the event of the sheriffs incar- ceration in a penal institution shall ad- minister his oath of office. and the law yers believe that the duties will devolve upon the under sheriff still holding office, by virtue of his appointment by the sheriff. The latter continues to be his superior officer until he is removed and his successor named by the Gov | ernor.
 Counsel for the defence may9 move for new trial on various grounds, but the motion will certain ly be denied. It is possible that the pres ence of reporter in the jury room will be offered by the defence as one of the reasons for O new trial. Col. Fellows is seeking to find means of punishing the reporter.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1890-03-24

those for tho Christmas number, and the aggregate for the regular number of the "Judge'' occasionally startles the counting-room.
 The trials of the editor of sstirical weekly? We'll, there was formerly the man who insisted on reading his matter, with proper oratorical effect; but he merely leaves his manuscript now. The man of the funny story, who thinks it is the larger part of your business to listen to him and laugh when you want to cry: but he's dead. The habitual peddler of jokes who makes the same as a business. at inter- vals of sobriety forced upon him by bog garly mpecuniosity. The unfortunate man, sore with rheumatism, who wants to go to his family in New Jersey |: l give this man 8 dollar for a joke that is torn up, and, behold! he has a supply next day of hundred more, and is never relieved of rheumatism and nev- CT goes to New Jersey.
 The genuine trial is the necessity of returning matter that is worth printing some of it that is far too good to war rant the necessity. It is a compliment to The Judge," as well as to it's con tribuJors, to say that ninety per cent. of the matter received bears evidence of judgment and thought and has felicity of expression, speaking of both prose and verse. Once in a while an article comes that is abominable in it's ignor- ance and whose humor is cOmmensur- ately injudiclous, but with two eXcep- tions in five years ''The Judge" has re- ceived nothing so coarse or with such a double meaning that the most fastid- ious might not read it. Why is so much good matter returned? Because there is no place to put it in. At the most the paper will hold only a certain amount, and if all the good matter were accept ed and used we should have to print a weekly paper of hundreds instead of sixteen pages. Because it is not exact ly suitable in all cases. Because we have previously accepted matter of the same kind. A dozen reasons, any one of which ought to be sufficient, even to the sensitive writer but, I am afraid. none of which is. A very bright young lady writes mo ''It you return the poem, please do not put in that nasty little slip. It makes me mad" The little slip reads: "The Judge is obliged to return much excel lent matter. because it is impossible to fl nd room for it.' It is kind, and it in dicates a compliment. but it makes others mad as well. 'If you get so much good matter" says a Brooklyn critic, with good-natured spitefulness, ''why don't you put some of it in your paper?"
 A trial of momentous woe is the great amount of accepted matter on hand. I look at it with shudder.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1890-03-24
Reid 3 Hughes. 94 to 100 Bank Street,
 Waterbury, Conn.
AN ATTACK MADE BY sERv1ANs.
Repulsed After Sharp Fight by Austria,
 Gendarmes.

Almost Panieky Feeling in Continental Government Isonds-Will Continue Bis
 marck's Policv-Two Hundred Students
 Arrested-Ireland's Temperance Cru sade-Gladstona Will Make an Appeal.
 VIENNA, March 24.-Dispatches re- received here say that band of Servian militia tried to capture the Bosnian vii lage of Granje, but was repulsed after a sharp fight, by Austrian gendarmes. During the engagement several were killed on both sides. The Austrian Government has demanded an explana- tion of the affair from Servia.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1890-03-24
CANNOT NURSE LEPERS.
Sister Rose Gertrude Meets With Disap-
 pOintment at Iolokai.


 pointment at Molokai.
 SAN FRANCISCO, March 24.-Dr. J. M. Whitney of Honolulu, who arrived here on the steamer Australia, says that Sis ter Rose Gertrude. the English girl who was anxious to nurse lepers at Mo- lokai, will not become an exile in the leper settlement and perhaps die there, as she anticipated. The settlement of Molokai is in charge of the sisters of the Sacred Heart, who are maintained there by the Hawaiian Government, and as Sister Rose Gertrude belongs to an- other order-the Dominican Sisters she cannot be admitted.
 She is therefore at KaIili, the receiv- ing station for lepers, or those who are supposed to have contracted the disease. There they are cared for until it can be determined what their ailment really is. Dr. Whitney says she is very comforta- ble at Kalili and not isolated, though she is disappointed in her expectations.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1890-03-24
Would Not Accent Aid.

LINCOLN, Neb, March Ex-Governor Thayer and the president ot the State Board of Agriculture have just returned from tour of inspection in the extreme Western counties, where destitution has been reported. They found no cases of destitution anywhere. Many of the homesteaders were hard up, but not more so than in any border community, and everywhere they found a feeling that the people could take care of themselves, and would not accept aid if rendered.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1890-03-24
MARY PRENDERGAST'S WILL.
To Be Contested-Beliaved Not to B>
 Her Last Testament.

To Be Contested-Belioved Not to B,
 Her Last Testament.
 JAMESTOWN, N. Y., March 24.-Much excitement is occasioned here by the re- port that the will of the late Mary N. Prendergast will be contested.
 She bequeathed about $2O0,OOO to various Jamestown charitable institu- tions.
 The deceased had frequently expressed her intention of leaving the daughters of the late Charles Newton of St Catherines, Ont, a snug sum, and as these ladies were overlooked in the will found, dated fifteen years ago, il was thought that another and later will was in existence.
 The present will has numerous flaws in it, and eminent legal authorities Sd. it will not hold in law.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1890-03-24
The Oxford Cambridge Boat Race.

LONDON, March 24.-The boat race on Wednesday next promises to be good one, for both crews are undoubtedly fast and apparently we'll matched though Oxford has done the best work Under adverse circumstances Cambridge has rowed the course this week in 1G minutes IA seconds, which beats pre- vious records. The betting is in favor of Oxford, the odds being to on the dark blues, odds which the merits of the two crews in practice scarcely justifes.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1890-03-24
Editor Gregory's Experience.


 The "Judge" reaches an average ot thirty contributors day. Those en- velopes which have a batch of jokes or suggestions, anywhere from five to fifty, l count as one. Perhaps two-thirds of these favors are in verse. The other third is made up of manuscript from three pages to hundred pages long. The contributions como probably half from New Workers, city and State. The other half originates with every other State, the territories and Canada, with frequent matter from various parts of England, France and Ireland, and 8 small amount from New and Old Mexi- co, and from the moro Southern portion of the Continent. The regular army sends in it's army joke at intervals and the dialect fever has broken out all over, though especially in the South, often to the relief of tho sufferer and the benefit of the reading public.
 I suppose we have on our books at least fifty contributors of reading mat ter with as many postotfice addresses and this estimate leaves out the staff writers and the contributors to the art department. Of course. no writer draws large sum, the paper being neces- sarily made up of briefs-the most wit or humor in the smallest pace-so far as the reading matter is concerned; SC
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1890-03-24
The Prosecution Abandoned.

ST. PETERSBURG, March 24 7s-The prose- cution by the Government of the woman Tchebrikova has been aband- oned. Madame Tchebrikova was charged with having written, and sent, to the Czar, letter warning him that a failure on his part to recede from his reactionary methods would bring down upon him the fate of his predecessor, Peter III, Paul l. and Alexander.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1890-03-24

The store is the largest and finest in this part of the state, and in point of equipment is surpassed by none. The proprietors have a thorough knowl- edge of the Dry Goods business, and with large capital, and the introduc- ton of modern methods in the man agement of the business, customers may rely on getting the best possible value.
 The Stock is entirely new, and is the largest, best and cheapest assort- ment of Dry and Fancy Goods ever shown in this city.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1890-03-24
Austrian Securities Weak.

FRANKFORT, March 24.-Business on
 the Bourse was dull and there was Q general decline in foreign securities. The depression at Vienna affected deal-
 ings here, the sales dominating. Since Thursday Austrian Credit declined from 266 to 258; Austrian gold rente from 94 30 to 93.4O; Italians from 92.4O to 91. 20 and Russians from 93.40 to 93.2O.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1890-03-24
RAILROAD WRECK ,
Severa1 Cars Demolished and Trail
 Hands Severely Injured.

nAuuS ScVeTety
 CONCORD, Mass, March 24.-The worst railroad wreck in this vicinity for 8 lcag time occurred late last night at Concord Junction on the Old Colony Railroad. A south bound ice train which was standing in the yard, was run into by another freight train from Lowell, which was going in the same direction. The engine and several cars on the train from Lowell were totally demolished, also the caboose and several cars on the ice train.
 The wreck took fire and burned for several hours. Charles Blodgett, a fire man, was badly injured; William Hunt, fireman, seriously injured; F. P. Cham berlain, engineer, was buried in the wreck but escaped with slight injuries. Ths other trainmen escaped by jump ing. The loss will reach $20, ,0O0.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1890-03-24
LQaR of R Shin,a Crew.

LONDON, March 24.-It is kn own that the British steamer Vincent, bound from Sulina, Roumania, for this port, broke her shaft at sea and was abandoned. The Captain of the Vim cent, with eight of the steamers crew have arrived safely at Ferrol. The mate and fourteen other men belonging to the ships company are missing, and are supposed to have been lost.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1890-03-24
Gladstone will Make an Appeal.

LONDON, March 24.-It is expected that MT. Gladstone will appeal to the House to set day for the discussion of the motion offered by MT. Parnell to ap- point committee of inquiry to ascer- tain the origin of the ''Times" forgeries. In the event of 8 refusal on the part of the Government, the Parnellites will raise the question in tho debate on the aatim ates
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1890-03-24
I. E. HUDSON.
Straight Shoes For Gentlemen

These shoes you can change each day from one foot to the other, whi .h prevents them from wearing over on one side, and consequently makes them easy and comfortable. They are HAND MADE of the very best of French Calf Skin, and made in } 3 f and , widths. We have the eXclus i've sale of these shoes.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1890-03-24
The situation at New Orleans.

NEW ORLEANS, March 24. The river is receding slowly and the levees are h old ing up in this district. The Nita crevasse is 45O feet wide and apparently beyond control. There was 0 severe wind and raiI storm along the river from Vicksburg to Arkansas City, but no serious damage is reported. The river is falling slowly at all points below Vicksbr,rg,
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1890-03-24
The Minnie Drath Jury Disagree,

TROY, N Y., March 24.-The jury in the case of Minnie Drath of Chicago, on trial for shooting Edward Firth, failed to agree and were dismissed. They stood eight for acquittal and fou, for conviction. An application will bs made for bail next week.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1890-03-24
A Panicky Feeling.

PARIS, March 24.-The news from Ber- lin has shaken the Bourse, broken the speculative rise and put everything in state of suspense. Since Thursday per cent. rents have dropped If. 15c Credit Foncier shares show fall fol the week of 15f., and Bank of France shares @ fall of 35f
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1890-03-24
Blsniarck's New Title.

BERLIN, March 24.-The National Zeitung" says the title of the Duke o1 Lauenburg was conferred upon Prince Bismarck by the Emperor without any consultation with the Prince in relation to the matter.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1890-03-24
Weather Indications,

wAaH,NGr"S. March 24. For Now Eng. land: Fair weather; northwesterly winds, lower temperature; warmer tomorrow,
 For Eastern New York and New Jersey: Fair weather; northwesterly winds; colder, followed by slowly rising temperature; warmer tomorrow.
 For Western New York: Fair weather. followed during the night by light rain, winds shifting to easterlY warmer.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1890-03-24
Governor Hill Non-Committal.

ALBANY, N. Y., March 24.-Gov. Hill refused to give his opinion of the yer dict in the Flack case. It is believed here that he will remove Flack at once, but whether the next sheriff will be Ridgeway or Sexton is as yet a matter of speculation. The general feeling in Albany is that the verdict is a just one
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1890-03-24
Will Continue Bismarck's Policy.

BERLIN, March 24.-In a note to the German Ambassadors abroad Chancellor von Caprivi intimates that he will con tinue the policy of Prince Bismarck.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1890-03-24
Two Hundred Students Arrested.

ST. PETERSBURG, March 24.-An en- counter has taken place between the students at P-tsroffskoie, near Moscow, and gendarmes. Two hundred of the students are under arrest.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1890-03-24
Ireland's Temperance Crusade.

DUBLIN, March 24.-A letter signed by Archbishop Walsh and other prelates was read in the Catholic Churches of Ireland yesterday urging the promotion of the new temperance crusade.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1890-03-24
Joke Waves and Fond Parents.

Every American is to a greater or less extent humorist. Therefore the supply of humorous matter coming to the editorial desk of Life" is unfail- ing and it becomes more Q question of what to keep out than what to put in.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1890-03-24
Contracted the Fever in Panama.

Contracted the FeVer In PannWa.
 BROOKLYN, N. Y., March 4.-Ex-War- den Charles Schultz died at his resi- dence here of Chagras fever, contracted at Panama. He served during the Wsr In the U. g. Navy.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1890-03-24

that the "Judge" offers small encour
 agement, especially to writers of prose, but on the other hand very considerable suma ara paid for apectol NrticlNs,. Q
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1890-03-24
Ryan & FitzmauriCe,
 To 72 Bank St., Opp. P. 0. sTg- REPAIRING.

Fitzmnurice was for four years in the New England Shoe Store.
, 1890-08-07
A Silver Surprise.
Tacoma Globe. |


The passage of the silver bill had
one effect which even its most ar
dent advocates hardly ventured TO
claim for 1t. Instead of sending a
great volume of silver from Europe
into this country, the tide has set
the other way. A dispatch from
New York states that 1900, 900
ounces were exported last week to
London, that 100000 ounces were
ordered for the first few days of this
week and 100000 ounces more will
be shipped to-day by one concern.
The price of silver in New York has
gradually gone up from Sl.06l to
$l.12t and Is still on the rise.
A good deal of surprise Is ex-
pressed at this unexpected turn
of affairs, the reason for
which does not seem apparent. The
explanation given Is that England
buys a large amount of American
silver every summer to send to
India to pay for wheat and cotton,
and has bought little earlier than
usual this year for fear that the new
silver bill Will send up the price.
There may be something in this and
there may not. 1t looks more prob
able that English spectators are
buying silver with the purpose of
holding for some time until q
scarcity sends the market up
enough to enable them to realize
handsomely. In any event, they
are not likely to reap very
rich fruit, for the development of
our silver mines under the spur Of
the market now secured will be
sufficient to meet the demand with
out allowing England to corner the
market and sell us back our own
silver at an enormous advance. The
curious tendency of the expectation
of bullion above alluded to will be
watched with interest until the
true cause thereof becomes appar-
ent. Just at present the opponents
of silver who loudly declared that
the passage of the silver bill would
flood America with the "de-
based coin of Europe" are not say
| ing a word,