davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-06-12
PuNoENT PARAGRAPHS.

-hOo0-"dollOS OLD boy, going 0uv
for little pleasure trip, eh?'' Hooker
mo, I'm going ont fishing with my
wife. Detroit Free Press.
First boarder-.sDon you always
have stuffy feeling in this house?''
Second boarder-"Not when we are in
the dining room. Burlington Free
Press. -
-Customer-''Is It customary to fec
the waiter HEREOF Waiter-"Yes, sir. !"
Customer-"Then hand over your fee.
"Tve waited for you nearly an hour. -
Racket.
-Mudge-"Doctor, If were to lose
my mind, do you suppose l would be
aware Of it myself?" Doctor Boless-
''You would not. And very likely none
of your acquaintances would notice it,
either. "-Terre Haute Express.
-Artist-"Oh so you think the
backgrounds .beastly,'" do you?. Per
haps the cattle are 'beastly,' too, though
flatter myself -" Friendly Critic
"Oh, no, my dear fellow; that's just
what they are not. The Jester.
-Newwed-"How long does q man
have to be married before his wife agrees
with him in every thing?" Oldwed
(mournfully)-"You'll have to ask some
body else, my boy; I've only been mar
ried forty ears."-Epoch.
-Visitor-''Tomny, I wish to ask you
few questions in grammar" Tommy
Eyes, SIR" Visitor-''If give you the
sentence, The pupil loves his teacher,
hot 10 %ha%O -
Texas Siftings.
Miss Simper-"Do you know, Mr..
hyperion told me last evening that re-
minded him, in looks, of Miss Daisy.
Miss Caustic-"I never noticed any re.
semblance, my dear; always thought
Miss Daisy pretty."-Boston Times.
First Senator-'I have scheme to
which wish to give the widest publici.
ty. What do you suggest as the best
method?" Second DISCUSS il
in secret session, of course. IN. Y.
Racket"
"A Lesson in Languages: "What are
we waiting on, conductor?" asked pas
senger from Chicago, when the train
came to standstill. 1--WE are waiting
on the track" replied the conductor,
who was a Boston man.-Lippincott'a
Magazine.
"A man having purchased an oil
painting at an auction, asked a connois
sour to examine it. The latter said
"My dear friend, wouldn't hang it if
were you; the sentiment of the age is
against capital punishment 1 would
commute its sentence to solitary impris.
onment for life."
Funny Man Ito young woman read
ing his own jokes to him)-"There's
one thing, Miss Fannie, I'm not vain,
and, am free to confess, it bores me to
have any one read my jokes to me.
Miss Fannie quitting down the paper)-
swell, If what I've been reading is a
sample, should think it would."--
Washington Star.
-"Why don't you call me donkey, and
done with it? You've limited at it long
enough" he snarled out. ''It wouldn't
be quite true" she replied. II suppose
not suppose haven't ears enough fol
that ANIMAL" he retorted sarcastically
20, yes, you have" she returned sweet
ly, ''you don't need any. more ears.
"What do need, then?" "More legs. 81
Leeds Mercury.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-06-12
Improved Passenger service.

Under the new time schedule of ssrhe
North Western Line,'' c., St r., N. go,
Ry., all passenger trains Of this line make
the trip between st Paul and. Chicago in
less than IA hours.
The Pullman and Wagner Vestibuled
Limited, leaving st. Paul at 7:9O D. m.
makes the trip to Chicago in 131S hours and
from Chicago to st. Paul in IS hours and
Is minutes.
The Daylight Express leaving St. Paul at
:45 a. m: makes the trip to Chicago in Is
st: Paul in Is hours and Is minutes.
This is the only line running all its trains
In less than a hours between st. Paul and
Chicago, and while this time is quick, trains
to make their time as on other lines be-
cause this line is shorter than any other line.
In addition to these facts, this is the only
line by which connections are assured in
Chicago with all fast line trains from Chi
cago to the East and South in the morning
and at night.
NoTE.-Fares by this line are always az
low as by any other.
For Map Folder of the line address, T. W.
TEAsDALE, General Passenger Agent, st.
Paul, MINI.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-06-12
Tho Anti-Steal Bar.

We present the cut of a very simple
yet effective continuance for locking the
stable door, which we saw on a recent
trip in the country. 1t consists simply
Of a couple of pieces of strong bar-iron.
The upright at the right of the door is
mortised to allow the longer bar to pass
back far enough for the other end to
enter the upright at the left The left
end is notched as represented, and a
short piece is fastened by a single bolt,
allowing the notched end to play up and
down. When the bar is pushed in, the
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-06-12

cause I didn't know what else to sly;
but the burglar didn't answer.
I had captured my burglar, but what
to do with him l didn't know. I
couldn't yell and wake up the whole
house on account of mammals nerves. I
wouldn't do any thing to agitate NAM
mas nerves. ..- -.
'Now see here, mister" said the
burglar, you amt goin' to hand me
over to the peelers, are you?"
That's what I'm going to d." said l.
"Don't you know that have wife
and seven small children to support?''
said he.
do you support them by burglarizing
houses?" asked.
II wasn't burglarizin' no house, mis-.
ter" he said. II was just lookin' fer
somethin' lost last year" And he
laughed rather low. 1t made me feel
pretty good to be called mister.
If you must call = cop, you'd best
raise the window and call him, said the
burglar: II might get away if you
should go to the front door. You can
just raise the window and wait till one
comes along"
That was about the best way to do, I
thought, though I would have to 20
pretty near the burglar. But, as he
had no revolver, that would make no
difference.
So went over to the window.
B-r-r-r. never felt so funny in all
my life. That burglar must have hit
me with . sand-bag or something.
When l came to my senses in few
seconds the burglar was standing over
me, pointing my own revolver-or rath-
er papa's-at me. Such . burglar is .
disgrace to his profession.
I'm just holdin' yer gun fer We while
We open the window" he said with a
grin.
sat up and rubbed my head. The
burglar laughed again rather low and
; said:
Sonny, where's your papa?"
''He's out of the city," said I, rather
shortly. for was mad. "Did you want
to see him?"
Well, never saw any one laugh a.
that burglar laughed.
EYES," he said; II wanted to see him
on business. Do you know whether he
would sell that corner lot of his out on
! Sixteenth and State?"
And say" he went on after he had
stopped to laugh again, do you know
whether he's got any more street rail
road stock to dispose OPP
When l didn't answer the burglar
was still moment, and then, he said
pointing to the sideboard:
docs your ma keep her silver il
this?''
! ooh, low, you're not going to take
| mammals silver, are you?"
'Is it solid?'
| 81 won't tell vOu" said T. hepinnino "a
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-06-12

cover up my head. l couldn't think
very we'll that way. Papa wasn't at
home. Tom was over in the next room,
but Tom wasn't much good. He was a
country cousin of ours, and as he had
never been to the city before. he knew
very little about burglars. l went over
to Toms room and said to him:
''Tom, there's burglars in the house. ?"
Tom didn't hear me that time, so
said again:
tom, there's burglars in the house."
Tom rolled over after he had stopped
snoring a moment, and muttered some
thing about it not being milking-time.
l went back to Bob, told him couldn't
wake Tom up and he would have to
help me fight the burglar himself.
Bob said that after all he didn't think
there was a burglar in the house; but
know that he was afraid, and only
wanted to avoid going downstairs. Bob
is a little fellow, though, and that is
the reason, l suppose, that he was
afraid. l was little afraid myself.
had been wishing for long while
that a burglar would get into our house.
For felt that was getting old enough
to protect the family when papa was
away. A boy fourteen years old is old
enough to protect the family, isn't he?
l was just a little frightened, but 1
went down to mammals room to get
papa's revolver. That was where he
kept it. l had to keep pretty quiet so
that l wouldn't waken mamma and get
her nerves excited; for if there's any
thing mamma has more than all others,
it's nerves.
Mamma was sound asleep, so I went
vOlver. 1t was fine one and just fitted
my hand. I had wished it was mine
many time.
Then went back to Tom and said to
him, as shook him on the shoulder:
''Tom, there's burglars in the house. "
But Tom only growled out that he had
fed that heifer enough to last till he
was ready to get up. Then I knew that
l would have to attend to that burglar
myself. What could expect boy from
the country to know about burglars any
way?
felt lonely when got downstairs,
all alone there in the big house. l
heard a street-car 60 along in side
street, and the bell on the horse
tinkled louder than 1 ever heard it
tinkle before. wondered if the people
in the car would read in the paper next
day how bravely Ned Harwood, son of
Hon. John w. Harwood, of Ashland
lavenue, had captured a burglar. That
made me feel better and I went into
the dining-room.
The dining-room looked dark and
lonely. Every thing looked lonely that
night. l never saw things look so
queer.
One of the dining room windows was
open, and knew that the burglar had
gotten in by it and was some place in
the house. sat down on chair, rested
my revolver hand over my left arm and
wondered what was going to do next.
The clock licked like all possessed, and
could see the glassware on the side
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-06-12

catch raises until the notch is passed,
when it drops into the notch in the bar,
holding 1t firmly. To open it is puzzle
to the uninitiated. The key is simply
. short piece of fence. wire, which
should hang near at hand. Move the
bar to the left, which raises the catch,
pass the key through gimlet hole rep
resented just over the catch, press
against the catch, holding it up, when
the bar can be pulled out There are
several advantages in this mode Of
fastening. 1t is inexpensive; there is
no trouble If the key is lost, as another
can be easily made; it is effective, as it
Is impossible to get horse through the
door even If opened; the door may be
left open in warm weather, often de-
sirable consideration. The device is
unpatented, and may be made by any
blacksmith.-Rural New Yorker.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-06-12
A Sura nelAvapanra-

Not instantaneously, it is true, but in a
short space Of time, persons Of bilious
habit are saved from the tortures which a
disordered liver is capable of inflicting, by
Hostetter's Stomach Bitters, an anti bilious
medicine and aperient of the first rank.
The pains in the right side and through the
right shoulder blade, the sick headache,
nausea, constipation and saffron hue of the
skin are entirely removed by this estimable
restorative Of tone to the organs Of secre-
ton and digestion.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-06-12
Kept Cool Despite His Eaxerness.

Browns wife has eloped, and Smith
meets him tearing along the street.
Smith-What's the matter, old man?
Brown-My wife has eloped and the
pair have lost their money and have
stopped at Trenton.
Smith-For Heavens sake, Brown,
don't do any thing rash. Where are you
going?
Brownie telegraph them money
N. Y. Tribune.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-06-12

There will be a local Chautauqua at
Brightwood Beach, on Lake Ridley, at
Litch6eld, MINI during the week begin
ming June 25. An excellent programme of
exercises has been arranged. There will be
Northern Railway gives excursion rates
Brightwood Beach is one of minnesota
prettiest resorts
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-06-12
A Mild Way to Put 1t.

"Why, Mister Singer, has dey turned
you off down at de hotel whar you's bin
workin'?''
Ex-Waiter-Not 'zactly. 1t comes
bout dis way, you see, dey tole me dey
didn't hab no furder use fur me afterdis
mornin', and l jist got mad an quit
Harper's Bazaar,
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-06-12
CAPTURING A BURGLAR,
a Little Boys Story of How It
Was Accomplished.

NE night Bob
heard a burglar
getting in din
ing-room wi in
dow. Bob is my
broth err. He
walked me and
told me that
some one was
getting in, and
then he covered
up his head and
6 h iv ere d. l
shivered too,
but I didn' t
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-06-12

IT is not always the cheapest food
that should be fed to our animals,
though we admit that there may be
such difference in price between q
good and inferior food that it may be
wise to feed the latter. But the health
of the animal should be tho first con.
sidera ton in the matter Of feeding.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-06-12

Old sod land, when plowed, should
always be lined. Lime assists the sod
to decompose, destroys many insects and
Odds plant food to the soil.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-06-12
Arc Yau GAlnH Weaf9

Arc You Going West?
Come to Idaho. Soon be State. Sure
crops. Big prices. Field crops bring s25 per
acre. Free range for stock Free GoUernment
Land. Best society, schools, churches. Cheap
Harvest Excursions, all roads. For illus
trated pamphlets, rates, ETC., write to Board
OF Trade, Boise City, Idaho.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-06-12

Sir Nopels Free, will be sent by Cragin Il
Co., Philada, Pa, to any one in the U. 8. or
Canada, postage paid, upon receipt of Is
Dobbins' Electric Soap wrappers. See list
of novels on circulars around each bar.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-06-12

HALLS CArARRH CURE is a liquid and IL
taken internally, and acts directly on the
blood and mucous surfaces of the system.
Write for testimonials, free. Manufactured
by F. J. CHENEY II Co., Toledo, o.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-06-12

IT must have oeen wheelwright who
was first put in spokesman by his felloes-
Texas S.ftinQA
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-06-12

LIFE is no longer dream to a man after
the first time his wife sends him to the
drug store for face powder.-Terre uaute
EXPRESS
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-06-12

A TITLE often sells q book, but not 50
quickly es pretty girl book-agent Does
Boston Courier
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-06-12

WHEN man geLs famous It would seem
that every man In the country used to play
marbles with him 1T school
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-06-12

HE spring lay of the hen is never
thrown into the editorial waste basket 1t
finds place on the editor's inside.-Nor-
ri stOwn Herald.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-06-12

HARSH purgative remedies are fast giving
way to the gentle action and mild effects OF
Carriers Little Liver Pills. II you try
them, they Will certainly please you.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-06-12

TO KEEP your head above water, put
nothing but water in your stomach.-Bos-
ton Transcript
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-06-12

DON'T be clam. If you've cot to be anv
thing otthe kind be mud turtle Then Won
may have some snap to you.-Binghamton
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-06-12

JUST as soon as mans head gets above
kickers begin reaching for it.-Ashland
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-06-12

Headaches and Fevers, to cleanse the sys-
tenn effectually, yet gently, when costive or
bilious, or when the blood is impure or
sluggish, to permanently cure habitual con-
stipation, to awaken the kidneys and liver
to a healthy activity without Irritating or
weakening them, use Syrup of Figs.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-06-12

FIGURES can't lie, but lies figure quite ex-
tensively in almost all statistical articles.
Boston Transcript
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-06-12
To Dispel Colds,

HE report OF a lawsuit is trying news
even for disinterested parties to hear
-Binghampton Republican.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-06-12
Mr.. Ruskin An i-Tob.ccon,.e.

MI: Ruskin-who, by tho way, I'M
happily remains in = weak state Of
health-cherishes another pet aver
sion" besides fools and railroads. The
great art critic il no doubt regarded as
. grand exemplar by the Anti-Tobacco
League, for he regards smokers and
smoking with contempt so profound Is
to be almost unutterable. king jamie"
himself, who looked upon tobacco Is .
chosen instrument of the Evil One, and
Illuminated against wizards and smokers
with equal vehemence, could not have
hated the obnoxious weed with more
bitter hatred than does the illustrious
author Of the ''Stones of Venice" In
deed, it is even said that smokers of his
acquaintance who know his views on the
subject positively submit to process Of
fumigstton before they venture into his
presence in order to avoid the tornado
Of denunciation wherewith they would
otherwise be greeted. -Lady's PICTORIAL.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-06-12

You can't help liking them, they are 80 very
smsl and their action is so perfect. One pill 9
dose. Carter's Little Liver Pills. Try them.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-06-12

much to capture burglar. Almost any
one can do it-C L. Hooper, IN Santa
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-06-12

A POCKET Cigar Case and i've Of "Tan-
sills Punch" all for Csc.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-06-12

GLENN's Sulphur Soap is genuine rem
edy for Skin Diseases.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-06-12

WIEN . girl 10 too cold to talk fast sho
lotS her teeth ohatter-N o. Picayupe.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-06-12

TIE thermometer is not only q measure Of.
heat, but of the price OF ice-Puck.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-06-12

Best, easiest to use and cheapest Piso's
Remedy for Catarrh. BY druggists. 25c.
Los Angeles herald., 1890-05-06
APPLICATION FOR FRANCHISE.

NOTICE is HEREBY GIVEN THAT AN
~ application will be made by the under
signed to the Board of Supervisors of Los An
geles County, at their room in the court house
OF said county, in the City of Los Angeles, on
Monday, 1.-THE 9Th day of May, 1890, at the
opening of their session of that day, or as soon
thereafter as the application can be heard, for
authority to construct wharf upon the shore
OF the Pacific ocean at Catalina island, and to
lske Tolls fer the use OF the same, for the term
of twenty years.
The location and description of said wharf is
as follows: Beginning at a point which bears
easterly twenty feet from the intersection of
the center line of Crescent avenue (Which is
eighty feet wide), with the center line of Cata-
line avenue (Which is sixty feet wide), in the
town of Avalon, according to the plat of survey
OF said town made in August, 1887, by Pillsbury
d. Cleveland, surveyors said map or plat being
recorded in book "a of miscellaneous records
page. 81, records of Los Angeles county, to
which said map and the record thereof refer
ence is here made for description, said point of
beginning being upon the center line of said
Catalina avenue, extended easterly from the
said point of intersection of the center line of
Crescent avenue, with the center line of Cata-
lima avenue, and extending from said point
OF commencement into the Pacific ocean, two
hundred and twenty feet said wharf being
twenty feet in width and the center line Of
said Catalina avenue produced being the CEN
ter line of said wharf.
Dated Los Angeles, CAL, April 1, 1890.
WILLIAM BANNING.
apl-d
Los Angeles herald., 1890-05-06
GENERAL TOPICS.
California Fruit Growing in
Popularity.
Prospect of Large Shipments
to New York. g.
AtchisOn and A. & P. Railway Traffic
Picking Up.
Murderer Kemmler Refused a Writ OF
Habeas Corpus by the United States
Supreme Court.


New YORK, May 5.-The Commercial
Bulletin says In short time new Call
fornia fruit will begin to arrive in this
market. AS far as oranges are con-
cerned it is not believed by authority
here that many will come to New York.
The trouble is that the competition to
which they are subjected in the New
York market will never allow high
enough prices to make it an object to
send fruit here, owing to the heavy
freight charges. The late citrus fair in
this city opened the eyes of good many
to the good quality Of California oranges,
the fruit having virtually been a
stranger to most people in New York.
Nevertheless the high freight rates from
California act as an effectual barrier
against fruit coming to this market with
any degree of freedom. With California
green fruit, however, very rapid progress
is being made in the amount that each
season is sent to the New York market.
More commission men will receive fruit
during the coming season than ever be-
fore. One year ago the first California
cherries were arriving in this city at
this time, but this year they are eX-
pected to be at least two weeks late,
which is also the case with apricots and
peaches.
Los Angeles herald., 1890-05-06
CRIME AT DENVER.
The Fate That Befell Mrs.
Butterfield.
Outraged and Murdered by an
Unknown Man.
A Terrible Struggle With the
Fiendish Assassin.
The Police Looking for the Perpetrator of
the Crime-A Suspect Under
Arrest.
Associated Press Dispatches. |

DENVER, May 5.-There are no new
developments in the Butterfield murder
mystery. The police are of the opinion
that the crime was committed by some
man who called at the house for the
purpose of renting a room. Mrs. Butter
field went up stairs to show him the
room, and he, finding that she was
alone, attempted to outrage her, and in
the fight which ensued, he struck her a
blow on the temple which caused her
death. The woman's clothes were torn
to shreds and her body was badly
scratched. Finding that the woman
was dead, the wretch covered the body
with blanket, washed his bloody
hands in a wash bowl in the
room, and left by the back
door, which he locked as he went out.
The crime was probably committed be-
tween and s pm, Saturday, and the
body was not discovered until Sunday
evening. The dead woman at one time
lived in New York State, and her first
husband, Mr.. Bryant, was killed in
the war. She had a divorced husband,
named Butterfield, living in Omaha.
Late this afternoon the police brought
to the station man who gave the name
of Charles Munson, and occupation,
painter. The right side of the mans
face was very badly scratched, and his
forehead is in the same condition. His
left eye was black, as if from
gouge or blow, and his right
eye is not in much better condition.
The assistant chief of detectives put the
man in the sweat-box with very unsatis-
factory results. He claimed to have ar
rived in the city Thursday of last week,
but could not tell who it was that
scratched him or when or where it hap
pened. His story is so out of joint that
he was ordered lockedup. The scratches
on his face look as if they might have
been made within the last forty-eight
hours, and to the police are strong indi
cation that they have the right man.