Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1890-01-11
HONEST CARL puNpER
The Old Fellow Is Catching On 10 Anas
lean Ways at Last.

lean Ways st Last.
''Hello! Mr.. Dunder!' saluted Sergeant
Bendall as that Individual entered the
Central station. with a broad, satisned
smile on his countenance,
Hello! Sergeant. vhas eaterythings
oil right init youP''
II guess SO. You look happy"
Sergeant, vhas shust like sweet oil.
No more troubles for me. vhas catch
Ing on 10 do shust like Americans"
Il am glad OF that. You used 10 be
terribly green."
$50 vhas. Three months ago doan
know some beans in a bag. Hal ha!
Der cows come along und take me for
some grass. If IL rains / shtandt right
out doors und get wet. Iial hA. II
makes me laugh when see how green !
vhas.''
Anything happened latelyP" queried
the sergeant, in a careless way.
"Nhell, not mooch. Some fellers try
10 beat me. but dey doan' make oudt.
vhas too sharp for 'em. One feller comes
along init six pairs OF sheep-shears in a
bundle. lie doan' want TO sell dose
shears, but he likos TO borrow three dol.
lars for one day und leaf 'em for secur.
ity. II he doan' come pack in one day
dose shears yhas mine"
II see
"hc doan' come pack. Maybe he
break his log or something, but dot vhas
nothing to me. | keep dose shears. II
somepody beats me, sergeant, he shall
haf TO get oop VERY early in der morn
ing
II presume so. Have you the shear,
there?''
II haf. | belief you like TO see 'em." /"
They are worth two shillings a pair,
said the sergeant, after an inspection
you are out of pocket fourteen shill
ings, and what do you expect to do witl
sheep-shcars2n
"Heafensl doan' think OF astl
gasped Mr.. Dunder as he grew whits Ii
the face.
ANY thing else?"
"Vhell. get my life insured. Idean
belief vhas sheated by dot. A felie
comes along und says vhas Carl Dan
der? | yhas. Vhell, der Presidents O
der United States says he likes me b
4 "
yhas new company und new idea.
let you in by der ground floor. I nk
your name to influence odder people.
How vhas dot new idea?
"You pay only two dollars eater
twenty years, and If you die your wif
gets $4,000. 1t vhas der biggest thin
out. Shildrens cry for II. Vanderbilt
Shay Gould, Russell sage und all dc
big fellows vhas into it, How oldt 20
vhas-who vhas your grandmother--bo
many teeth have you lost oudt--vha
you eafer bit by some dogs-did you cafe
own white horse--how often you fal
down stairs-do you ride on some bicy
cles, und dis vhas der truth, der Who'll
truth, und nothing but der truth"
And he wanted the two dollars in ai
vance?' queried the sergeant.
"Ot course. Dot was TO pay fo
shwcaring me-"
We'll. you are beaten again, Mr.. Dur
der. Insurance men don't do busines
that way. Good dayr'
How you mean?i
You had better go home. Have 20
got tub in your honse?"
''Of course"
ANY bran at the barn?"
'.Yes1
"Ncll, make the tub about half fu
OF mash and then put your head TO soa
for about forty-oight hours. Whe
through buy some No. sand-paper an
polish IL down to the bone"
Sergeant, yhas | some greenhornsl
"You are"
. "fhill eafer learn se.ethingsP"
. "Neyer."
"fhen, goodbye! l shan's try n
more. 1t vhas a queer country, un
nothing yhas der same two times alik,
When my body was brought In her
doan' make fun OF It. Shust use II shen
ly und say dot did so well ash could.
. Detroit Free Press.