The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1890-01-16

when he meets her. His failuse 20 recoe-
Mise i'm Captain Bellairc those hne, deli
cate and gentle characteristics that con-
stituto n lady. has left him . very sick.
third man that inspirational sluRger has
whipped for the came obtuseness, u be-
hooves the rest Of tn conclude
that she il more of n lady han might he
inferred from her behavior.
Mr.. Edison, we learn, has q new novelty
on which he il workinR-a clock to talk
the time. Instead of n blank sound it will
say s'one," .'two" ctc..a t the proper hours.
For an alarm il will say in SO many words,
'Get up" in q stentorian and
ing voice. We fear, however, that his
clock will never do for an alarm unless
Mr.. Edison makes il talk more. There il
something weak and powerless i'm the
words sect up,' however sternly uttered.
To produce the desired effect upon the
sleeper, the clock should say at least,
Get up, you foolv But even thiss strong
adjurntion would he valueless to many
men, particularly hired men and police
men. For such the clock should say,
''Get NV there, you blank fooli Blankety
blank you to blank; why i'm blank don't
you get a gait on and get up,you blankety,
blankcty, blank, blank, blank"
The Eastern press, we observe, are not
agreed AS to the author of the Yong of Nc
Ginty. A Rochester, N. Y, paper recent
ly interviewed a song and dance artist
named Flynn. who claimed to he it's sole
originator. The New York Mat aud Ee-
press n few days later published an ex-
haustive interview with another vaude-
Vile singer, who explained how he came
tn write the famous ballad i'm great detail.
And now comes the Washington Post and
attributes McGinty to one James Connor
Roach, whOeve he may he. II the en-
tries are not closed, we would like to pre-
sent The name OF Rev. }. +. Richards. II
Brother Richards did not compose Me-
Ginty, we know OF no reason why he
or why he can't now compose
something else equally amusing aud gro
tcsque. Something on pants for instance
would take "a powerful hold of the popu-
lar mind just at present.
II is very late i'm the season for Christ
mas stories, but i'm the London papers Of
December "a, which have just arrived i'm
this part of the world, there il one SD un-
like the ordinary run of Christmas yarns
that we cannot forbear summarizing il
and pointing ont the moral with which il
il laden. For this story is not u creation
of the imagination; it il n simple recital
tied To receive the analysis and judgment
of practical minds. II appears, then, that
the residence Of u named Floyd,
a gentleman of wealth and refinement,
caught fire about I o'clock Christmas
morning. The noble old house suffered
ENatt ia NJ FLy ~ "a tlho ~
and fright suffered by the inmates, all of
whom, however, were speedily rescued,
although not i'm the costumes usually worn
i'm polite society. The origin of tie fire was
thought to he a mystery, and that thought
would have remained tn this day had IL
not been for the rewdnes and sagac-
ity of am old insurance man wha explored
the house as sooIi as IL was daylight Az
erwards he put IN few questions to Miss
Annie Floyd, aged ID, and Miss Agnes
El.rI ,.xav "a aud ftRrDsh1v aaHs. A.xl
himself that his theory was correct. An
ME and Agnes had hung zap their stock
ings according to- the ancient custom of
Great Britain, and retired to bed about 10
o'clock on Christmas eve. From their
station i'm life We must assume that the
hosiery of Annie and Agnes was of the
finest quality, probably of silk, and more
over of extra length. Would that Dick
ems were alive to tell h remaining
chapters of this Christmas story. Inn
aRine, he would say, these four extra
long and bewitchingly beautiful articles
of wearing apparel suspended from tho
mantel-piece. Sucha charming spectacle
indeed must have melted n chunk of ice.
What wonder then that the smoulderinR
GOALS gazed up In eager curiosity and de-
light! What wonder that a flame arose
and leaped and danced as IL to show the
stockings what il could do i'm their own
line! What wonder that the flame al
last seized one of them i'm rash embrace
ms IL 10 WaitZ WN ~ AoHSNeTs II
wonder that the fire alarm did clang
upon he midnight mir and that the
firemen came and forth upon the
burning mansion turned the hosel But
to return from the picturesque style of
Dickens. To practical affairs, il appears
that the toes of the stockings must have
projected some distance over the CRATE,
else the fire could not have touched them.
II Annie and Agnes had been Chicago
girls this would have been expected, since
all Chicago girls are built that way. 1t
would he illogical tn assume from this one
instance that all London girls are built i'm
a similar way, but one is forced to the
conclusion so far as Annie and Agnes are
concerned that. howevcr lofty and grace
ful the superstructurc. the foundations of
their stockings were of somewhat extra
ordinary dimensions. Ii may have been
simply AN hereditary trait of the Floyd
family. The next Christmas is q long
ways OFT but we trust that the moral of
this story will not he forgotten by those
young ladies by whom il should be re-
mber Such will find chairs very
convenient, or IL chairs do not afford suf-
ficent space, the stockings may be pinned
together mt the top and hung over an open
door.