The Livingston enterprise. [volume] (Livingston, Mont.) 1883-1914, 1890-11-29
CALHOUN SCRAGGS

t Discovers from the Pike County Yelp
q that the Mckinley Bill Has Increas
the Price of Tin and at Once InvoiC
His Possessions With a View to Ia
ing Advantage of n Rising Market
He Also Reviews the Political Stu
tion and Fixes y Slate for 1892.
Old man Scraggs, finding copy
the Pike County Yelper on the roa
took his seat under the friendly shac
of a persimmon tree and was soon inter
on spelling out the news. After ha
an hours hard work he sprang to b
feet and struck out for his cabin hom
a mile distant, where he soon arrived i
a breathless condition.
"Come heah, Laviney Tennessee, com
heah. The black abolishuners hev don
raised the price on tin plates an othe
tin tixins, SO you'd bettah hustle an gi
all the extry tin fixins thar be on tn
plantation an TIL tote 'em down to tn
Corners fur cash. Commence foragin
Laviney."
"Why, how you do be talkin', sab
Thar be no tin fixins round heah 'ceptil
our two tin plates an the spoons w
done got fer weddin' presents"
Ger rang the abolishuners fur maxim
tin fixin's so high-but then I've done
got news what be news, ennyhow. The
cause fur which l done fit is on top
shuah."
"Why, how you do talk, Calhoun
How in yarth did it happen to hap
pen?"
"Why, we'uns, the southern chivalry,
the mudsills up moth, Lord Days da-
goes an British gold jest cleaned out
the republicans on lection day from Dan
to Bersheby an back agin, an the cause
is all right"
'Oh, be SO pow'ful glad. Reckon
you'll git a pension fur fitin in the brush
arter all?'
"Thet's what"
"An' Col. Speers an the rest of the
quality II git pay fur their niggahs?"
"Sartin sho."
"An' Calhoun, you know thet if the
wah hadn't come we'd hev bout ten
niggahs by this time, an won't we git
pay fur them, too?"
ITO be sartin, Laviney."
"But can't see how the abolishuners
got whopped, Calhoun?'
"Why the Mckinley bill did it more'n
else"
"Wall. now, thet Bill Mckinley must
lev bin peert young, man to be sartin"
"He's not man, he's law made by
he abolishuners. Now, Laviney, the
bill is-it are-it be-hain't
'ou ever read the Yelper? You orter
NOW it is-thet it are-well, it be all
ired, dirty, pesky law. Thet's what it
'e. 1t hurts England and all furrin
ountries an only holps the Yoonited
states, an England was SO kind an
olped us SO much DOOM the wah. Cuss
hem abolishuners, ennyhow. An then
he Yelper sez as how ole man Potah's
ensus he'd somethin' to do with it."
II suppose as how he lost 'em," re-
1arked Lavina, "an' thet's awful on the
lie man, amt it,"
"Lost what, Laviney Tennessee?"
''Ole man Potah lost his senses"
"Yes, l reckon thet's what it be-
"An' Calhoun, will we be rich now?"
"Of course. Jest as soon as we kick
10 republicans outen office. Thet's
hat the Yelper sez."
AN say, Calhoun, will you git pay
IF all the time you done served your
enty in the brush DOOM the wah?"
II can't see why not, Laviney Ten
sssee."
"An' Calhoun, will they pay you
'unty Nv so much head fur every
ankee you popped over?"
II believes so, eff our statesmen live
, to their promises" {
"Then We'll be powful rich. Calhoun. {
on't we?"
Eyes. (
"An' oh, Calhoun, We'll get back the ]
> flag, won't we?"
"Thet we will, an as our southern q
ct seZ- t
le bars an the stars, oh, long may they wave
u the land of we'uns an the home of the 1
slave ~ t
'An' Calhoun, Jefferson Davis will be t
esident again, won't he?" '
Il believe he's done dead.' \
But then, Calhoun, they would make v
PRESIDENT outen that great man up in T
ontany, General Martin McGinnis. '
'uldn't they?" v
oh, l heern he's done dead, too r
ader'n pore Jeff.'' b
That's what. never thought of ole t
ckery. There be now days so many a
URLS in the woods after the persim- a
ms, done clean forgot about the ole a
IN with the longest pole of all on 'em. h
whiz, Laviney, I've got it. By jeff, Ii
don't 60 down to the Corners in the {
'wning an hoist ticket that'll suit a
chivalry an dagos an all England, p
make the Yankees shake in their O
ots." W
Who be they, Calhoun?"
They be Ole Hickory of Tennessee I
the English lord, Marks O'Daly of Il
'ntany. Hoop-ee. 'Rah for Ole Hick- h
an the dago-owner of Montany. tt
Ihw pl
Vhereupon the hero of the brush and b.
partner retired to their couch with m
den thought Of the democratic mil gi
mum close at hand, when the poor W
sickly, shivering American lamb q
lld hump itself and lie peacefully Sc
vn inside the British lion. JOHN.
Ter Of Business Before the County
December Term, 1890 ca
'irst day, Dec. Receiving and eli
ltlng reports OF county and township in
'ers and examining official bonds. :.
econd day, Dec. 2.-Hearing road -
fiOna oud cohool hnc;rocn I'd