davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-07-17
He Was Shy of Women.

A very eccentric old bachelor was
Father Fletcher, one of the old Metho-
dist ministers, and his shyness of
womankind amounted to antipathy.
One day as he was riding along a country
road one of his lady parishioners, who
was walking the same way, politely asked
for ride. "Certainly, madam" politely
replied the pastor, and he Immediately
alighted, as the lady supposed, to assist
her to en.er the carriage. She stepped
quickly in, whcrcupon he handed her
the rcins and said, "Drive on, madam,
and when you arrive at your destination
please hitch the horse, and | will soon be
along. y Lewiston (Mc.) Journal.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-07-17

Two years ago Baldwin's horse Vo-
lante was to run one day at Saratoga,
and Baldwin called Murphy up into the
grand stand and said:
"Now, look here, Murphy, I don't
want any monkeying about this race
none of your sensational finishes. You
just cut the old horse loose and send
him along from the fall of the flag to
the finish. I've got lot of money on
this race. and l don't want to be wor-
ried about the result"
Murphy showed his white teeth in
smile of acquiescence, and then in low
tone informed the ladies in Baldwins
party that he would make the old man
faint away"
When the flag fell Murphy pulled
Volante back to fourth place and held
him steady around the first turn; down
the backstretch the leaders flew, with
Murphy trailing along quietly on Vo-
lante as though he was out for pleas
ure ride. Baldwin began to kick aud
bite off big chunk of tobacco and be.
gan to chew at tremendous rate. As
the horses rounded the lower turn and
entered the stretch Murphy began mov-
| ing up lncn Dy lncl, DuU IL seemed an
impossibility for him to reach the
leaders, but he did, and one by one
they surrendered until when within a
hundred feet of the wire Volante had
disposed of all but one. Then with a
magnificent exhibition Of horseman-
ship Murphy fairly lifted his mount up
to even terms and in the last bound
landed Volante winner by q nose, or,
as the sporting fraternity term it, "by
an eyelash." Before the jockeys dis
mounted, Baldwin turned to member
of the party and said: George, L wish
you would get these Volante tickets
cashed and bring the money down to
the hotel for me. I'm going home right
away, don't feel we'll. Some fellow
swallowed chew of tobacco which |
had in my mouth, when that black
devil made that close finish"
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-07-17
Tender.

was in group of newspaper men
Just after had read of reception
which had been "tendered' to we'll
known citizen. L wanted to express an
opinion upon the barbarous misuse of
the word quoted, and asked, to intro
duce the subject, what does tender
mean?" l received several answers,
and here they are:
"A tender is a small vessel which
takes provisions to a larger vessel out
side OF apier," came from the man who
had crossed the ocean.
"A tender to sail boat is dingey
which follows on behind" is what the
member of the boat club said.
"a tender isn't boardine-house
steak, said the bachelor.
you've heard of the Young ladv
whose lover was taken to war vessel
on tender, haven't your" was another
remark-"The case which made Tom
Hood say, What hardship that must
be-"
didn't wait to hear any more and
postponed my remarks. - Brooklyn,
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-07-17

=
Dr. Tobias, Nc1U Ork:
Ihave used your Venetian Liniments for a.
number of years, and consider them, without
exception, the best and most reliable before
the people.
AS u family medicine applied externally or
internally it is invaluable, its application
harmless and the effect produced truly won
derful.
They are indispensable in the household or
the stable.
Very truly yours,
CnAUNCEY KILMER,
Of the firm of G.. kilmer IL Co.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-07-17

A weak galvanic current, which will some
times cure a toothache, may be generated by
placing 81 YER CON on one side of the gum and
piece of zinc on the other. Rinsing tn
mouth with acidulated water will mere ise the
effect. u 20.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-07-17
THE DINKLEM

The Old Man Tells Jalxey that BrevIty Is
tAe Soul of Wit, and Jakey Reminds Him
OF the Same Thing in Funny Way.
"Shakey, vot time you come home
last night?" asked old Dinkleman as his
son came into the dining-room rubbing
his eyes and looking very sleepy.
"'Oh, about IL o'clock.
We're you vas yet?"
BY de Oriental Deayder."
All! and vot you see?"
Some blays about Monte Christ
mas"
"Ahl fsee dot blay myself ven vas
little poy."
Dis Won new play is, about man
Vot vas out rowing und got capsized
and swims by Blackwell's Island and
haves nothings to eat but desert. He
almosts starves by dat diet, ven Won
day man is sailing over the Island in
a balloon und sees de man, and he
throws down some sandwiches vot he
has In the balloon and the man is saved.
But ven"
'Shakey. dot takes you too long to
say vot you saw. De Sherman poet,
Shookspoke. says dat brevity is de soul
OF wit Remember dot, my son." and
then he went on with half hour
lecture on the subject
The next day the two Dinklemans
wore busilv engaged in arranging anew
stock of secondhand overcoats, when
the old fellow looked up and his face
grew pale. Just outside the door he
saw man crossing the street who he
knew was coming to collect bill.
Mine Gott, he whispered, trem-
bling. "Shakey, here comes Silverstone
to collect dat $500 bill vot L promised
to pay to-day. can't spare dat money
so soon. have scheme. Hide your
self und give him ghost story"
Jakey slid under the table not sec
ond too soon, for just then the collector
entered.
Good morning, Mr.. Dinkleman," he
said. Il came to collect my little bill
of $780,"
"Ah, my good friend, expected you,"
said old Dinkleman, rubbing his hands
together gleefully at the thought of how
he would fool Silverstone. 81 have
just sent my son Shakey up town to
collect some money und ven he comes
back 1 pay you. Will you sit down und
vait for him?"
How soon do you expect him?"
"Oh, in about an hour"
"Well, I guess I'll let you send it
over. There is no need of my wait
ing"
very goot, very goot. Goot day
Good day."
But this is just where Dinkleman
made mistake. Instead of letting Mr..
Silverstone go then, he hailed him as
he had his hand on the door-knob
with
"Say, Mr.. Silverstone, vos you by the
GLACIERS ball last night?"
Silverstone said that he ewas and came
back and sat down in the only chair in
the store and commenced to tell all
about it. When he had exhausted one
subject Dinkleman would start him on
another and, in fact, did as much talk
ing as Silverstone. So, in this way,
they got over the divided skirt question,
the Cohens failure and numerous other
things in about half an hour.
6 In the meantime, Jakey was cramped
up under the table wishing Silverstone
would go and cursing his father under
his breath because he persisted in keep
ing up the conversation.
"Vat vas dot fader said yesterday
about brevity? Oh, yes; brevity is the
soul of wit. My son. he said, say
everything in so few words as possible,
Und ven l speak too long remind me OF
it. VEIL L say me nothings now, but
ven Silverstone goes tells him some,
things. Oh gosh, my feet's asleep. II
dey don't come off soon I"
II II
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-07-17

Each member of Congress gets about 3, 900
envelopes full of seeds every year, and the
bill Uncle Sam pays for them amounts to
about 100000
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-07-17

The medal which has just been presented to
Mr.. Stanley by the Geographical Society is
the first special medal for such services that
has ever been struck by that socletY.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-07-17

FITS stopped free by On. kLINE's GEEA1
NERVE REsToRER. No Fits after first days
use. Marvellous cures Treatise and 81 trial
bottle free. DR.. Kline. 9W Arch st., Phila., Ia
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-07-17

More diseases are produced by using brown
and perfumed soaps than by anything else.
Dobbnss Electric Soap is pure and perfect.
Dobbins's prevents hands from chapping.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-07-17

Experts claim that if steel ships are kept
properly painted with good paint, and the
plates properly "pickled" they would last as
long as iron, otherwise they would deteriorate
more rapidly than iron ships.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-07-17

Repentance is the last advantage which {
man reaps for his fault.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-07-17
Children Enjoy

The pleasant flavor, gentle action and soothing
effects of Syrup of Figs when in need of a lax
ative and If the father or mother be costive or
bilious the most gratifying results follow its
use,so that 1t is the best family remedy known
and every family should have a bottle.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-07-17

Hope awakens courage. He who can i'm
plant courage in the human soul is the best
phYsicnn.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-07-17

J. A. johnson, Medina, n. Y, says; Halls
Catarrh Cure cured me-" sold by Druggists,
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-07-17

The shifting sands threaten to bury Grand
Haven, Mich making sort of modern
Pompeii of it. The city council is planting
1000 trees on the hills, hoping in this way
to keen the snnds stntionnrN
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-07-17
DEPENDENT PENSION BILL

honorably discharged Soldiers and Sailors of the late
war, who are incnpacitated from earning n support.
Widows the same, without regard to cause of death.
Dependent Parents and Minor Children also inter
ested over 20 years experience. References in all
parts of the country No charge II unsuccessful.
Write at once for "Copy of Law " blanks and full in.
ttructions ALL FREE to II. .McAI.IISTER ~ co.
Successors TO VIM. Conard s. Col T.. d. Box
715, " ashingi on, ID. q.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-07-17

BE proud. 1t is said that proud
man cannot be mean.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-07-17

If afflicted with sore eyes use DR.. Isaac Thomp-
sons Lye-water. Druggists sell at 25c. per bottle
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-07-17

FAITH is the pencil of the soui that
pictures heavenly things,
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-07-17
700 to 8oIo IhTEREST Y !;lRI s

: 90 and upwards. Securities hrst.class, and in
crest guaranteed References furnished on appli
ation Correspondence solicited. Address,
FIRST STATE BANK, BRuNING, NEB.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1890-01-10
Agriculture In England.

Hon. n. j. Colman. Secretary of
Agriculture under President Cleveland,
has had published some very interest
Ing observations about his recent trip
Though England, as an agricultural
representative on Scripp's league. The
picture he draws of the condition of
agriculture in England is far from a
bright one. The farmers there are not
land owners. They must pay q rent of
from three to five dollars per acre, and
when near cities from twenty-five to
fifty dollars per acre. In addition to
the rent they must pay taxes for vari-
Gus purposes, one-tenth of what is raised
going to the support Of the established
church. On account Of cheap ocean
transportation they are unable to COM
pete in the production of breadstuffs
with other nations. In short, farming
is Improbable; times are hard among
them. and they are emigrating in large
numbers to America and the English
colonies. About the only kind of farm
ing that is now profitable in England
is the raising of mutton sheep. Meat
is high and the pasturage Of that coun
try, owing to its climate, is unexcelled.
But already the farmers there are COM
planning loudly against the importation
of American meats, as we'll as bread
stufs.-Farm and Fireside.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1890-01-10
GUESS THIS IS TRUE
Hens Arc Moro Profitable Than CoWs-A
Poultry Kaiser Demonstrates R.

Hens Arc More Profitable Than Cows-A
Poultry Kaiser Demonstrstss H
1t is said that the profits from twenty
five hens equal the profits from one COW.
1t may be suggested that the truth of
this statement depends upon the hens.
Very true, but with equal truth it may
be asserted that it also depends upon
the COW. Taking the country at large
and averaging things, as it were, 1 am
disposed, says contributor to the Rural
New Yorker, to cast in my lot with the
hens, and if any lover of the COW with
crumpled horn, or with no horns, is
disposed to question my conclusions, let
him take up the gauntlet or ever after
give the palm to the feathered biped.
Both require shelter. Buildings suffi-
cient to make them comfortable will, of
course, vary in cost as we'll as in archi-
tectural pretensions with the location
and the taste or financial resources of
the owner, but 1 think that twenty-five
hens can be made snug and comfortable
for less money than one cow.
Feed is quite considerable item. but
l think the twenty-five hens will be
able to show balance in their favor. l
can keep flock Of hens and feed them
we'll for eggs at an average expense of
one dollar each per year. The outlay
will, of course. vary slightly in different
seasons and different localities, being as
often under as over this amount. This
would make the yearly board bill of our
flock of twenty-five just S25. Can the
cow champion beat this without starv-
ing his cow or going SO near it as to re-
duce her milk yield? Both hens and
COW must have good care, but were de-
sirous of the minimum amount of labor
should prefer to care for the hens. 1t
would certainly require less labor to
gather the product of the hens industry
than to milk the COW. The droppings
from flock Of hens are usually con-
sidered of sufficient value to pay for the
care.
How about the product? An average
hen, If decently attentive to business,
will lay about 10 dozen eggs per an
mum. My 90 hens then will produce
about $50 dozen. can sell my eggs at
an average price for the year of 80 to
40 cents per dozen, but this is too high
for the country at large; 20 cents is
nearer right. This makes the receipts
$50 for the flock, or, subtracting one dol
lar per head for feed, have balance
of SIS. The first cost of the hens was
probably so to IS cents each. but calling
it one dollar each, 1 have net profit Of
100 per cent. Besides this, several Of
the hens have probably acted as incu-
bators, and thus have earned something
more to be added to the credit side of
the account. The first cost of the hens
was less than the first cost of good
COW, so the COW must earn still more
than the hens have done to make a
profit of 100 per cent. Will she do it?
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1890-01-10


ready built, 15xSo feet, to one end add
room Of any desired dimensions. Tight
ly cover this addition and let it be
sealed within tightly with half-inch
grooved spruce or some other wood
which will not impart taste to what is
stored. The exterior of the cooling
room may be the same in appearance as
the ice-house, so that the entire struct-
ure will be one building. The cooling
apartment must be lighted sufficiently,
but not extensively, and double win
dows should be used, together with two
doors or heavily-packed door. The bot
tom can be cemented, which is prefer
able, or boarded.
An aperture one foot to eighteen
inches square must be cut from the
cooling room into the apartment occu-
pied by the ice at the top of the room
and corresponding opening made at
the bottom. This is to allow the heated
air of the cooling room to pass out and
the cold air from the ice to fall and
enter the cooling room at the bottom.
These openings must have closely-fitting
doors and, generally speaking, they are
kept closed. If the temperature in the
cooling room should be too high at any
time it would be necessary to open
these doors for an influx of cold air. To
the person who has ever used such an
arrangement and seen its beneficial re-
suits, a return to the refrigerator would
seem like retrogression indeed. If the
cooler or retarding room can be conven-
iently located on the north side or end
of the ice-house, it will be in the most
feasible location.--Farm and Home.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1890-01-10
Killing Smut in Wheat.

A contributor from Washington writ.
ing to- the Rural New Yorker
says: was raised on this coast
and have often wondered why so
many of the farmers of the Eastern and
Middle States were so long about find
ing remedy for smut in wheat land
the same remedy have heard is equal
ly good for oats). Ever since l can re-
member seeing wheat grow-over thirty
years. have seen this remedy used for
smut in wheat. 1t is one pound of blue
vitriol dissolved in wooden bucket of
hot water with enough cold water added
to thoroughly dampen seven or eight
bushels of wheat. The wheat should
be placed in large, tight vessel; add
the water and stir the wheat thoroughly.
If allowed to remain until dry, all the
better. know many farmers who use
vitriol and SOW Immediately, but more
or less smut can be found in their crops.
l have little seed wheat that was
treated with vitrIol two years ago, and
l will warrant that every kernel that is
not cracked will grow. If any readers
are troubled with smut / think they
will find this remedy an entire success.
Eastern Washington and Oregon have,
think, had the poorest wheat, barley,
oat and potato crops this year ever
known. The fruit crop was splendid
and brought high prices, being shipped
as far East as Minneapolis.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1890-01-10

mans corrupt love Of rules While It IL
true, therefore, that the advance OF
Christ's kingdom has IN irresistible ten
dency toward lifting from the race the
curse OF the subsection Of women. yet II
has not been done as rapidly as it might
be if it were made the clearly defined
object of Christian endeavor. To do
this. then, is the strong religious prin-
ciple underlying our equal rights work.
1t is our province, as an association, and
as individual members of that asso-
citation, to labor to clear away the ira
ditions of men from the Word of God.
so that its truths may shine out as the
great bulwark Of woman's liberties, as
they have ever shown for human Gber-
ty, when rightly understood. 1t is
our privilege and duty to Study the
Scripture that we may give a reason for
the hope that is in us, and for our faith
from the primal curse. 1t is ours to
point out with practical wisdom, that
in the unholy train of the subsection Of
women follow limited Industrial oppor-
tunities for them, and half pay for equal
work, so that multitudes are reduced to
misery and want, and sadder multi
tude 60 over the brink into the abyss Of
sin; how the minds of the mothers of
the race are left undeveloped for lack of
healthful stimulus and means of intel
lectual cultivation; how our statute
books are blackened with unjust laws
that bear cruelty upon the most helplesN
portion of our population; how the State
loses half the wisdom of her people, be-
cause the voice of woman is never heard
in her counsels. Let us do this with
meekness and brotherly kindness, but
let US press home to the consciences of
Christians that all these things are en-
emies to the righteousness of Christ.
How can those who call themselves by
His name turn from them to dwell in
careless ease or heartless Indifference"
When Christ calls for an account of
these things from His servants, none
will be willing to answer, as some wom-
en- answer now: ''We have all the rights
we want, and we think it some one else's
place to Judge the right of the needy"
or. as some men answer now: I'VE are
afraid that women will get out of their
sphere; and as men are very well salts
fled with things as they are, We think it
it will produce dissensions in fam
lilies" No, none will be willing to an
swer this! Christ teaches that Judgment
and mercy and faith are the weightier
matters of the law.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1890-01-10
CONCERNING COMPOST,
How to Make Compost Heap to Secure
Best Results,

How to Make a Compost Heap to Secure
Best Results.
There are two main things to be con-
sidered at the outset in making the best
compost heap. One is how to hasten de-
composition, and the other is how to
prevent the escape Of gases that are
created. The compost heap should be
so located that it can be drained, and
the drainage saved, for necessarily it
must contain valuable fertilizing in
gradients. The site of the heap Sc
lected and drainage provided, construct
the heap. Barnyard manure and any
deposit that contains plenty of vegeta-
BILE matter are the principal ingredients.
When it can be had swamp muck is just
the thing. There is one bit of caution
that ought to be given, and that is to be
careful that nothing is used in which
there are weed seeds.
The proportions should be one part of
barnyard manure and two parts of muck
or whatever else is used. Now the foun-
dalton, the basis, Of the compost is
made. To this is added every thing that
is lying about the premises that can pos
sibly add to the value of the heap, and
one Of the greatest advantages of the
compost is the utilizing very much of
value as fertilizers which would other
wise go to waste. Gather up the night
soil, chicken droppings, wood ashes,
sawdust, corn stalks, leaves, straw, soap
suds, fish or meat brine and old mortar
and thoroughly mix them with the heap.
The farmer or gardener will be surprised
to see what large quantity of fertilizer
he will get by gathering up these odds
and ends. To every load of material
about twenty-five pounds of plaster
ought to be added.
Now the chemical changes begin.
Putrefaction, or fermentation-bothb be-
ing the same so far as the chemical op-
Grafton is concerned--commence The
carbon contained in the dead vegetable
matter unites with oxygen from the air
or in the water that may be in the ma
terial, and carbonic acid gas is the re-
suit. This gas acts on the silicate of
potash in the mixture, separates the
silicate from the potash and makes car.
Donate of potash, and the silica being
freed becomes hydrated silica, and both
these elements are thus made at once
available for plant growth. Observe,
therefore, the benefit of composing in
thus making these two elements avail
able. Before the changes took place
both were insoluble and utterly useless.
Suppose unrotted straw had been ap-
piled to the land. 1t would require a
year, and perhaps two years, before
these elements could be made available.
Western Rural.