The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1890-05-02
UNDER DIFFICULTIES.



Nature erhausted herSsif In adding .
varssty OF Incongruous supplements 70 his
make up that we're continuous sources OF
surprise and dismsy 70 his parents - they
developed. one By one, during his growth.
His lace VS. : study in physiognomy.
from the roots d hsy cOiorsd hair, down 70
his narrow. rstreating forehead to where
his squirt eyes buiged ont like twin bea-
cons yet on either side Of tbs base OF the
promontory Of bis circumIocutory nose.
Beneath the twisted peak Of that snun-
ling sppendsgs yavnsd . mouth that sss
protected by . row Of yellow, prctsudfng
teeth. 30 grussoms that they kept the thin
upper lip In perpetual retreat.
Poor Bony! His real name was Napo-
ison Bonaparts Drigxers. which vss such
= cruel satire on the looks Of the boy that
folks called him Bony, for PHYS sake. II
his face vas ugly his figure backed Il up.
stoop shouldsrsd and narrow chested. his
legs were % crooked that IL Vas said that
his mother used reap hook in measuring
the cloth for his breeches.
More than this, he talked through his
nose and listensd--weli, he didn't listen
much. for he was deaf - = post. and moth
ing short OF yeil In his good ear could
make him comprehend
In the same community lived . maiden
whose unloveiiness was . nightmare for
the dream OF Bony Driggers
That Was Smaushy siaybaek- Tall and
tiresome, she tried 70 reduce her altitude
by eurving out her spine and pulling her
thin neck down betwixt her angular
shoulders. Her features were regular in
their irrsgularity. Her keen little green
eyes could scarcely discover the tip OF her
turned-up nose. and she had practiced
smirk Until her sucker lips were twisted
clear out Of line.
Her head was covered with . shock of
brick.colored hair. and there were two
coiors Of freckies on her thin, weascned
cheeks One sturdy champion remained
Of all her front teeth. and that stood out In
an aggressive manner, a. II defying the
ravages Of time. Against this tusk rested
q snuff brush. in nonchalant. devil may
care sort OF q way, o. II Il were . constant
reminder OF the independent spirit Of its
bearer.
You might have dropped plnmb-line
from the point OF her chin 10 the tips OF
her toes. and there would have been no
contact between IL and her i've feet six OF
perpendiculayity.
Worst OF all. she was near sighted. and
was consequently kept in bissful ignorance
OF her makeup. rs she could not press her
nose and chin close enough to the looking
glass 10 enable her to sec her own impsr-
fections.
This hopeful couple fell in love. Not ~
things generally 60. altogether by contra
ries in such matters; but on the other
hand. their similtiude was only marred by
different styles OF uncomeliness.
One would have supposed that in such
an affair as this. II the parties we're salts.
fed with each other. no one else could pos
sibly have had the heart TO complain, but
sach Was not the case.
Old man Slayback disliked Bony most
heartily. and he said:
"Ef that blasted yeath worrum puts his
foot inside o. my door I'll larrup the hide
of'n i'm. The idea o. my smsnthy bein'
tied up With SIGH low down pack as that
ere' Wy. I'd see i'm in Pokytaiiso fust!"
In the same neighborhood, but on the
other side OF the river. lived Squire I.sath-
erhead. who was an inveterate fisherman
and a mediocre farmer.
lie would not have given one hour on
the banks OF the ockolockoochee river, in
red.belly season, for the finest ,en.acre
field Of corn In the county.
squire Leatherhead and were great cro-
nies. and many ~ the day We have sat on the
banks OF that sluggish stream and watched
our fcathcred eorks floating on the curling
eiti'es OF wine colored water. waiting for
nibhle. while the soft winds crooned q lul-
iahy among the swaying houghs of the stall
wart pines; and the red birds fitted from
brake TO brake like fash OF light illumi-
mating the somher surroundings.
One morning In the early part of May
CHANGED TO he At Squire Leatherhead's
home. and after few squinfs at the sky he
thrus, bis finger into his mouth, withdrew
II and holding II up half minute. re-
marked:
~ knowed II. Dad burn 80 We cant
fool me. The wins f'om the scu'west, an
the weasher's gwinsser clear up IN bet
We my hat we kin Jest rope in the red bel.
lies thi, mornin'''
Isn't the river too full" asked.
Mo-. hearn from il isiisiay. an
has fell foot Jest the right time
Moons south 81 fehen O'Clock. AMIN
gwine a.hshin'."
What about that piece ci grassy corn 90
Oh, ding the corn III marry 4 eouple
Tor the weeks GU; an make EN- pay me a
dollar. an that'u hire two hands far sdav
an III take them an the old omern an
The yoangans. an III clean that corn
patch IS slick IS peas"
The result Of the argument was as m icht
have been expected. I was longing 10 try
my luck In these tempting waters, and m =
argument was made solely 10 siinlula;e the
squire In his desires
30. gathering mp oar tackle. after turn
Ing ever a feS slabs Ia the ceiworm bed and
securing nice lot o. those miniature rsr,.
tiles that are 80 irresistible 10 the taste az |.
red.a belly. we started away.
BY the way, DO ycn know they eultixx,e
those worfns down th.rer A little s-i,n.
son vurrs. from one - three inches ianx
white stripes around thesa aud knot nssr
the middle. and they smell worse than /.
niger chorrlax eosson.
Bur the eig. gsssseniag. r~s-h<Ilicsi r~crA
love them n~sscr than hahy loves s.ssk
candy. HOOK couple Of them on a .n,.ll
Limerick hrsa.aeok that has h~~a ~ox.n
on 80 fac silk lire with a ligas ears oa
II, and the upper end % the line fastened
10 long. tar<rlng esne pole and YEA are
nxed fer fishing.
On nay beauty aus am alxrzxstns
from nay STORY. and mast rvSasa 10 nay
subject
fse snn rssSle high in the heavens ~hsu
~s svashea che hsud where the squire