The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1890-07-31
PITH AND POINT.

PlIH AND PUlNl.
The smart trout doesn't "catch o."
Springfield Democrat.
A pawnbroker should live up to his
pledges.-7eras SJtings.
The glutton can never tell when he
has enough, because he never has,
Judge.
A shortcake must, indeed, be short
when it can't raise tthe whercwith to
berry itself decently.-Puek.
In Military Hospital. "Aud where.
abouts do you feel worst. Corporate"
"On sentry-duty, Doctor. ."-J'tdge.
Paradoxical as it may seem, it is gen.
orally true that women who don't fancy
work do fancy work.-ElnnirG Gazette.
Atrange to say, very few fans are
pawned, although it is very easy to ''raise
the wind" with them.-Boston Bulletin.
Twas on the cheek kissed her.
She made resistance weak;
=" swell think you have the cheekP
Labor is honorable; always excepting,
possibly, the laboring jsw of the dema-
gogue or ignoramus.- --Olathe (Kan.)
Mirror.
Bronson-"Who shall decide when the
doctors disagreed" Johnson-"The
coroner generally has to do it.'-Aun-
sey's Weekly. I:
No no matter what sized shoe man
wears, his feet, If perfect, should meas
,lre two feet ten. Counting his toes
Danscills Breeze
"Batter's OUT" sang the cook, as she
slapped down the last griddle-cakc.
"There are no flies On this pitcher.
Haruard Lampoon.
I love books on music AMI dress,
Books on painting my spirit enthrau;
Yet here frankly Pm bound to confess
- That my cheque-book love best OF oil.
- Judge.
The best cure for obesity is to board
for the summer at farmhouse where
you will be treated ''like one of the fam
ily."-Boston Gazette.
A man over in Paris makes living by
waking folks whose business necessitate'
their rising early; he does rousing
business.-Peck's Sun.
Jack-"Do you remember old Lord
Grumly7" Maud-"No. He died be-
fore was born; but you remember him,
do you not, Edith2"-!Nunsey's Weekly.
swectam-"She smiled on my suit.
Robbins, old boy" Robbins-"Well, [
think she might. The wonder is she
didn't go into Mysteries. "-Boston Herald,
Her figure scarcely would entice,
Although in love pledge her.
The only place 1t looks so nice
Is in the banks big ledger:
--Ne,0 York Sun.
RolAoen-"Do you know that you
have the reputation among your creditors
of being very politc9" Travers-"Of
course. I always ask them to eah
again"
'I'vc changed my mind since I saw
YOU last" said Galley. 81 hope the new
one is better than the last, put in Cyul-
Gus, and Cadley got mad.-NeU f'rk
Herald.
Mrs. Cumso-"John, dear, wish you
wouldn't get your hair cut as short as
that" Cumso-"Why" Mrs. Cumso
-"It looks like q reflection on my amia.
bility."
A fly crawled into syrup jug,
And issued sadder aud wiser bug;
And he cried in voic, that was shril and
loud,
Though I'm stuck up am not proud"
Laurence american.
Henry NJ. Stanley will improve the
time between now and his marriage by
delivering fifty lectures in America.
After marriage Henry will be the au-
dience. e.-Bufalo Me'cs.
81 think that Venus de Milo is hor
rid, homely thing" said Juno, in a rage.
"Oh, come, now, juno" put in Jupiter,
"don't attack n dcfenselcss, unarmed
woman. ."-Mew York Rzctet.
Suffcrer-'I called, doctor, to see if
YOU could relieve Inc of this excruciating
pain from bad TOOTH" Dentist Seer
tainly, madam. Step right into my
drawiug-room. "-Chicaqo Times.
81 come" the lecturer began,
And then he gave gentle cough,
For in the audience man
rreverently said, Como off"
-NeU York Herald.
Little Johnny-"You ought to have
seen Mr.. Merritt and sister make lemon
adc." Mrs. Brown-''How did they do
it2" Little Johnny-"Cora held the
lemon while Mr.. Merritt squeezed Cora"
-Draks's Magazine.
A health journal says in going up
stairs the mouth should be kept closed.
Most wives understand this. 1t is not
until after they have got their husbands
upstairs that they begin to open their
months --StuteSnlnn