Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1890-09-13
ANNAPOLIS. MD. SATURDAY EVENING. SEPTEMBER Il
HUMOROUS


else for appallingness it is the situation
of man who getscaught in a rain storm
in flannel suit that is already too tight
for him. II Washington Post
@He hasn't much 60. Mercy, mol
He hung on at our house last night until
after l2 o'clock. Then pa put out the
light and turned TO Chollie and said,
'Nextr - New York Herald.
Three Scruples One Dram -Prohibi-
tionist-I Ihave good many conscientious
scruples about drinking. Boozer-I
guess that's right Just enough scruples
for dram. II Lowell Citizen.
Room for improvement Miss Sum
mit--Do you think, Mr.. Dashaway, there
will ever be such ,hing as perfection in
dress? Dashaway- unless our pres
ent credit system is improved upon.
They Were Too Heavy. (reading
the paperl-Another cyclone out Westl
1t has swept dozens of farms clear of ev-
erything. He'll bet the mortgages
didn't bulge an inch.-lTexas Siftings
Finger rings with the diamond sunk in
the band are affected by some men. The
old plan of wearing a finger ring with
the diamond "sunk" for whatever it will
bring is still the thing, however. Il Light.
His Choice. (which would yourather
be, Willie, monkey or giraffe?" "Gi-
raffe, every time 1t would be bully in
the summer time for looking over the
base bali ground fence. "-IHarper's
Bazaar.
Man rising wearily to let late conner
pass to his seat in the theater)-This
eternal getting up is really very annoy
ing. Late Comer-I know it is; that Is
the reason / never come in myself till
the curtain is up.
Minnie-What are the people of your
church going to do with that $25 they
made from the grab bag? Mamie-We
are thinking of using it to break up the
sale of Louisiana ,ttery tickets here.-
[Terre Haute Exp.ess.
After the Proposal -Cholly (unaccus-
toned to tears)-Don't cry, dear. Err
bah Jovel if I'd known it would make
you feel this bad to say yes Pd-er--
ah--taken the whole think back. Molly
(clingingly)-O, Gawgel-[Puck.
An Eye for Business. DIR. Ford-May
] ask why this refusal? Miss Millions
Certainly, doctor. You know my sister
married lawyer, 80 if ! expect to get
any of papa's money | must marry a
lawyer ALSO [Munsey's Weekly.
Banby-But why have you thrown
Charlie overheard? Maude-I couldn't
marry a man with broken nose, you
know. Banby-Ahl wonder how he
got his nose broken, poor fellowa
Maude-Oh, struck him playing tennis.
What Tonimy's Name viii Be Next
Christmas. Aunt Theo-Tommy, / am
surprised you forgot your Bible so
quickly. Now, when the rain descended
and smote the earth for forty days what
was it called? Tommy promptly
Mud.
Hello, Suqquor, what have you been
doing all winter ?" "Oh, I've been i'm
spector Of light houses. "So9 1 didn't
hear of your appointment. /" well, it
wasn't announced. backed the Barn
dore Opera Company on its Western
tour.
Afraid 1t Would Follow Him. Waiter
Ito diner Excuse me, sir; but whistling
Is not allowed in this restaurant. Diner
I'm not disturbing any one. am /?
Waiter-No, sir; but that last lot OF
cheese we got in is very sensitive. =
Judge.
Rotation in Remedies. Robinson
They say that hiccoughing caused by
drinking can be stopped by putting a
lump of ice in each ear. Wentman-But
then, how do you stop the earache9
Robinson-Take another drink Amer
lean Grocer.
Hands wanted on waists, are the
significant words borne by numerous
signs displayed at intervals along Broad
way. This is novel demand. We have
always believed that waists were pecu-
iarIy objects that hands were to be kept
off of.-IAmerican Grocer.
He-And so your father said he feared
didn't have any get up and go about
me, did her / wonder what has given
him that impression. Shell presume
it is because it is always so late when
you do finally get up and go that he's
asleep and doesn't hear you.-[Chicago
Evening Post
Plain of Speech. Cholly-I cawn't inn
agine what you are going out in the
country for, Miss Dashing. You are
such a favorite with the men should
think you would like to be where we
are. Miss Dashing-That's the very rea-
son I'm going to the country-to see il /
can't find a real man somewhere. II Mum