The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-13
BRIGHT BITS

AMERICAN HEIREss-Gracious! My hair is COM
ing down. Won't you please push that bunch
oack INTO its place and hold it while fasten it,
Count de La Fayette Mont Morency Certain
nong, mees. Dair, eet ees fneesh. Next
Ne'0 York Weekly.
BIRDIE McGNNIs-My great hobby is art. I
90 dearly love to paint
Gllhooly-I am glad to hear that. It convinces
me tnat am an expert phsyiognomist, for
knew it by the looks of your face for some time
past.-IeTds SifttE0s.
A DOG on exhibition at the New York bench
snow IS valued at $1,000, and belongs jointly to
Two gentlemen of that city. When dogs get to
De so valuable that it takes two men to own one.
IL Is ABOUT time to PROFOUND Socrates celebrated
conundrum, whittier are we driftingg''-Nor-
TistolrTl Herald.
IN THE SHOE SToRE--Shoe-dealer (for the sake
OF adding the strength of another favorable
oplnlonl-Ah, madam but that shoe is simply
perfection upon your foot. James, how do you
think Mrs. De Hoof's foot looks in this shoef
-. New Clerk anxious not to fall short in his en-
thuslasm) -lmmense.-Hdrper' BazGr.
SUNDAY SCHOOL TEACHER was giving lesson
IN Ruth She wanted to bring out the kindness
large handfuls of wheat. snow, Children sne
SAID. "BOaz did another nics thing for Ruth I;
can you tell me what it was?" Married her, "
said one of the boys.-ChristiGn REGISTER.
MRS O'BIAHERrY-Oi dunno pfwat will be-
come OF my Tammy. He is gittin' too big to
be messenger boy any more, an he has been
wld EN- that long it's not faster than snail
can he walk atall.
Mrs. Groarty-An' sure, pfwy don't yez git
UNI on the polace foorce?-1erreHaute Express.
JACK RIPLEY feeling in all his pockets
Strange where the deuce it went to! can't
seem to-
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. anything, sir?
Jack Rpey-Well, wanted you to see that
all wool undergarment you sold me two weeks
ago-but guess it must have slipped through
hole in my vest-Dry Goods Chronicle.
Miss EMORY HUGH lat the glove counter)-See
here, young woman, you have willfully cheated
me. You marked these gloves fiveS. but when
got home found they were two sizes larger.
There
Salesgirl-But, madam, they fitted you to
perfec-
Miss Emory Hugh (severely)-what has that
got to do with it?-DrB Goods Chronicle.
A YOUNG PLAYWRIGHT whose MS has been re-
turned asks the reason for its refusal. Great
heavens" the manager exclaimS Its title is
Minus II. find the subject rather antiquated
and should prefer something more modern
Very wel'' exclaimed the author, with an
inspired air, Il understand you; you shall be
suited
Five days later he brought another piece
entitled minus III. "-Le Figaro.
Too LONG TO WAIT.-Elderly but Rich Ad.
mirer-I know, my dear Miss Lillian, there is
some disparity in our ages, but it is not 100
great hope. have known cases in which,
Young Beauty-Pleass excuse me for asking,
Mr., Means, but what is your age?
Il shall be SO years old one week from next
Friday, Miss Lillian
with a sigh)-"The disparity is not great
enough. Mr.. Means. by about twentytiv
years. ''-Chtcdqo Tribune.
EASY AS SwIMMING.-Mr. Slimpurse twho has
been accepted by Miss Wealthy, without inqui-
ries TO his financial standing)-I wonder my
darling. if your parents will give their consent.
Miss Wealthy (thoughtfully)-M has always
been very particular about the moral character
NJ ma / 70 uif nd afrai
she'll as good many questions.
Mr.. Slimpurse (joyfuly)-Oh. lean get refer
ences from half-a-dozen ministers.
Miss Wealthy DISQUALIFICATION after that all
you'll have to do will be to get references from
half-a-dozen bankers. and you'll catch pa.-Neu
| York Weekly.