Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1890-04-27
RACKWoons RELIES
The Single Shanty One Gets OFF Son


The Single Shanty One Gets Of Some
Good Hits.
EDS. RECORD UNION: Last evening Jack
and l went for row upon the lake. l was
at the oars and he sat dreamily watching
the crimson and purple glow settle down
into duskiness over the water. At last
| he said:
"Duckey" (we're engaged now, SO he
calls me pet names), 'Duckey, do you
know that there is little craft following
in the wake of your boat?"
| / looked, but saw nothing. He then
said:
IF you initiate thing, don't you con-
slider it worthy of your recognition"
told him not to talk in puzzles to me,
because was not educated like him. He
gave me loving glance and said that l
| was ut to be queen, if | hadn't taught
school. Then he told me that some girl
| by the name of G. C. was trying to write
letters just like mine in the SUNDAY UNION,
and that was what he meant by following
in the wake. l replied:
| II don't mind and he shrugged his
| shoulders and said:
Let her tow. Every vessel is not a self
propeller"
| knew that he had paid me a compli-
ment. The only thing that riled me was
for her to say that Jack was her beau.
| Why, he has sworn by the 'sun- kissed
waves of Clear Lake," by the CLOUD
capped cone of Konocti;" and by NC
Ginty,' that l am eternally his; and Jack
is too grand to even deceive a woman.
We're just waiting till pas Lake county
mine is developed and l am little more
cultivated. Ma has done so well lately
/ x.,ft he hiatt ri a.
| painting lessons. just think Of all the
years that have wasted milking cows and
wedding the garden, and did not know that
| was a natural-born artist You never
saw so many born artists in your life as
| there are in Lakeport.
First, we all paint Uncle Sam" THAT'S
the grand pl,ribus unun, mountain across
the lake, Professor Highlight said he
knew that my talent was sufficient to un-
| dertake Niagara Falls or the Madonna, but
| pa is iona of homemade scenery. so fin
| ished Uncle SAM and he bought heavy
gilt frame for it, ana ma marches everv
! body into the parlor and proudly says:
II wish you to examine the work OF our
artist daughter
have the deer standing on three legs in
the foreground, the sail-boat and patch of
| tules-all the requisites OF the picture-and
all toned the newest shade of green and
| latest patterns of clouds, with shrimp pink
| sky and gendarme blue water But some
| howl don't know-every time l look at
! it l feel queer and wish l ha6 been born
| something else than an artist. Seraphna's
| is little more striking than mine, because
| it has two sail-boats and different COM
plexion. Could nature protest, wouldn't
she denounce such distortions and cos.
| metics from her divine face?
When You go to Rome, do as the
Romans. We also have some inviolable
| customs here. Now, when you arrive, to
the first one you meet you must say,
"Howdy. judge Next, Hello, Colo.
mel y How goes it. Captain ?" Take
something, Majorr and so on ad fnit,tD.
for we are all titled up here: SO don't. by
any means make mistake and say plain
MIR" to anybody.
Another thing-don't forget your gum.
If you don't chew you had better learn.
for we are all graduates If you stop to
talk with lady, keep your jaws going. If
you go to an evening party your toilet is
unfinished without your gum. On Sunday
You must chew all the time of service, to
keep the minister from getting lonesome
Lakeport has done grand missionary
work for the gum factories. Some of the
houses here are succeed with ancient
chews.
Last of all-don't forget to say CUTE to
everything you see. If the first lady you
meet tips the scales at three hundred, you
must say-just loud enough for her to
hear-"Isn't she kee ute?" We have cute
mountains. men and minnows, cute wives
and widows, and cute costumes and
customs. A few evenings ago
party of us stood watching our beautiful,
changeful lake. 1t then wore the placidity
of mirror, rejecting bold outline and
gentle curve of crinkled hills; crimson