Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-04-24
Mr.. McSMat as an Economizer.


room table, removed his coat, and
otherwise cleared the decks for action,
"why any man should pay glazier a
$2 bill for job of this kind when he
can do it himself at cost of less than
half that figure. Hand me that case
knife, Lobelia."
Mrs. McSwat complied with his re-
quest and he began to dig out the hard
putty and bits of broken glass still re-
maing in the sash.
"These GLACIERS" he continued, saint
satisfied with moderate profit. They
want to hog the whole thing. This pane
Of glass cost me 70 cents and these
three-cornered tin jiggers and this
lump of putty were thrown in. A glaz-
ier could have bought the outfit for 30
cents and then he'd have mode 81. so
for about twenty minutes work. Catch
me paying any such pricel Lobelia,
take this putty and work it into-ouch! |"
Mr.. McSwat's case-knife had slipped,
and his hand had collided violently with
piece of broken glass.
"Billiger, you have cut yourselfl"
exclaimed his wife.
"It's nothing, Lobelia," he said. "a
man may expect little scratch OF two
when he's at work of this kind. This
dinged putty comes out awful hard.
Gol-lee for gosh all snakes! There's
another cash. Get me rag, quick?
Don't stand there with your fingers in
your mouth. Do you want me to bleed
to death right here?"
Don't work at it any more, Billiger,"
pleaded Mrs. McSwat." You'll cut your
hands all to pieces"
"Who's doing this job ?" roared Bill
ger, as he wrapped his thumb in the
handkerchief his wife had given him.
Stand out of my way~
For the next half-hour he pranced
about the table, digging out hardened
putty, prying out splinters of glass and
varying the monotony of the exercise
by occasional remarks of paroxysmal
and incendiary nature.
At last, however, he had the sash
ready for the reception of the glass.
"Lobelia," he called out, sis the
putty ready"
"Of course it is," she replied. II
worked it till it was nice and soft and
put it on the table where you could get
it when you-O, Billigerl You've
knocked it down and trampled it all
over my nice rug!"
It'll wash out, Lobelia," said Mr..
McSwat. reassuringly. And he gath
cred up the putty and rolled it into a
lump again. "Now I'll put the glass in.
Anybody that can't put in a pane of
common window glass;" he went on as
he lifted the pane and laid it down on
the sash, mo matter how big it is,
ought to be-"
Crack!
"It's only corner, Lobelia. 1t won't
show. L can fix all that so it will"
Crack
"Blame the everlasting -dsd-squiz-
zled-"
Crash!
Smashi
Jingle!
"Blank the whole billy-be-dash-
blanked businessl"
Mr.. McSwat tumbled the remains of
his 28x36 pane of glass on the floor,
jumped up and down on them, and
howled while Mrs. McSwat retired to
an upper room, locked the door, crawled
under the bed, and wept.
Mr.. Billiger McSwat the next day
paid So bill to glazier for doing the
job and told him IN voice of thunder
to keep the change and be hanged to
him. Chicago Tribune.
They Snapped Wives.
A swap that was something out of
the ordinary was made by two farmers
living near Sidney, Neb., o few days
ago, but the details have just been be-
come public. j. III. Fox and I. Schad
were neighbors in Cotton precinct.
Both were young married men and
Schad had one child. The latter was
considered by the good people of Col.
ton an exemplary YOU man. He
taught the district school, was super.
iutendent of the Sunday-school. an
exhorter in the Unlversalist Church
and, above all, a dyed in the-wool Spir
itualist. His wife was young and
pretty.
Fox was simply farmer. He, too
was the possessor of an attractive wife
The two families became intimate, ant
it developed in time that Mr.. Schat
and Mrs. Fox had become enamoret
of each other, and of each other, anG
that similar state of affairs existed
between Mr. Fox and Mrs. Schad
The four became acquainted with eacf
others feelings, and finally the two
men struck q bargain and swapped
wives. Schad bade his wife an affec
tionate adieu, kissed his little one
good-by, loaded Mrs. Fox into neigh
boris wagon, and together they were
driven to Crook, station on the Col
RADIO Division of the Union Pacific, and
then took passage for Denver. Fox
and Mrs. Schad and the latter's child
remained at Cotton. - PHILADELPHIA
North american.
The Fidelity Of MOngrel Cur to Its
Dead Young Master.
Wordsworth and Walter Scott have
honored in verse the faithful dog who
guarded her masters corpse for three
months after the unfortunate tourist
had fallen down precipice and lost
his life on Helvellyn. A story hardly
less affecting is related by Miss Cobbe
in "The Friend of Man."
GA poor, little, ragged Irish urchin
the owner of u mongrel cur, and the
rider of donkey, one day followed
along the highway car containing 9
party of tourists. They naturally badt
him keep his distance and not raise the
dust.
"The boy continued to canter after the
car as fast as his donkey would carry