Wichita eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1886-1890, 1890-01-23
TELEGRAPHIC BLUNDERS.
MISTAKES, SERIOUS AND FUNNY,
MADE IN MESSAGES.
Awkward Situations Resulting from the
Use of Wrong Words-Public Men and
Clerrymen Who Have Been Made to
Saw Some Very Foolish Things.

Use OF Wrong Woros-fuc1c 1neH Ano
Clerrymen Who Have Been Made to
Say Some Very Foolish Things.
sect rid of Emma at once; exposure i'm
| minentr Such were tie contents, startling
and unexpected, of telegram opened by the
wife of one of our city men during his alb
sence How many signs and tears, how
much doubt and anguish resulted, and with
| what difficulty and persuasion, incredulity
was overcome and confidence restored, who
| shall tell Suffice il that tears gave way to
laughter when it was explained that EN-
MAJ was the name Of big mine i'll America,
and the mysterious message only a hint to
sell out shares in that notorious undertaking
There was no blunder. telegraphic or other
wise, in the transmission of the above mes
sage, but it will serve az an example of the
ambiguity of the modern business telegram.
Nine out of ten of the messages passing today
between business honses are so abbreviated
so full of technical terms, to be an abso-
| lutely unknown language to any one outside
! the particular business concerned.
There is no occasion whatever to condemn
! this practice; indeed, the manifold advan-
| tages secured by the use of abbreviated or
! code kilograms, principally as regards econo-
/ my and secrecy, UNNECESSARILY outweigh the
| disadvantages of occasional misllnderStand-
| ings 1t must, however. be admitted that
| slight Geographic blunder which would not
/ affect the sense Of plainly worded message,
| might entirely obscure or alter the meaning
! of an abbreviated or ambiguous one. The
person who dispatched the comforting assur-
ance, ''made all right" could not, of course
| foresee that the failure Of two little signals
would transform his message into the alarm
| ing statement, 'mad all night" but the econo-
mist who condensed the same meaning into
the single word Settled" could not loudly
complain that the message as delivered con-
tanned the unrneaning and somewhat irritat-
ing word "nettled."
A few years ago a message was received at
a certain town in the north of England adj
dressed, ''The Chief Baconstable" Unfor-
tunately the contents afforded no clew to its
destination, and after going round to all the
baconfactors in the town, it was reported as
"undelivered." Speedily came the corrected
address, 1.-The Chief Constable" In this case
the hyphen between the two words being
badly signaled was translated ''ba" and
tackled on to the next word. This faulty sig
mailing, or, as it is technically called, 'bad
spacing" is another fruitful source of error.
In conjunction with badly written letter,
it produced the address "Mice Tavern" in
stead Of "Miter Tavern" and in transmit
ting the report Of lecture on Poetry"
made the lecturer refer with enthusiasm to
the tender melody of cats" which should, it
Is scarcely necessary to add, have read
Keats" Another lecturer, dealing with
the Growth of Happiness" had the title
converted into the ''Groans of Happiness"-a
somewhat peculiar error, but one well within
the bounds of possibility.
The well known refreshment caterer in
Manchester received an order from school
manager for 400 beans. This order he trans
ferred to green grocer, and it was only on
inquiry being made as to the real quantity
required that an error was discovered. The
original order was for 400 buns. A student,
an1iously awaiting the result of the e1amina
ton, was not relieved from suspense on re-
ceipt of telegram containing the words
first or last" Luckily, repetition of the
message corrected this, substituting the
gratifying intelligence, first on list" A
gentleman telegraphed to his servant: Get
me good seat theater tonight" and was not
very well pleased ON his arrival to find an
orthodox theater hat provided, but no seat
During meeting of the British Associa-
ton some years ago a sermon was preached
as reported by tho telegraph, was taken
from the ''Aces of the Apostles" and one of
his sentences read: 1.-The soups of Just men,
made perfect"
Who mas not heard or read of the party
telegraphing for his coat and receiving a COW,
or OF the gentleman absent from home in
formed Of the birth Of boKl Here are how
ever, other versions of these cases. rather |
more Giro Instantial, although probably not
more authentic reporter absent from
home on business wired for his new coat. |
Reply: What do you mean by neat GOVT
Don't understand your message"
1t is, however, in dealing with press or
newspaper work, in which the dangers of |
indistinct writing are enhanced by the sys-
TEN OF Authorizations used by reporters, that |
the great majority of Geographic blunders [
are committed. Fortunately, indeed, is it |
that there stands between the copy and the !
public the all knowing, long suffering sub-ed- |
ltor, else would the newspaper hold lower !
place IN the world than it does today. What, |
for instance, would be thought of the paper |
which. publishing well known politicians |
speech, closed it with the extraordinary |
words: "All things come to the man with |
warts" or of the sporting print which al
lowed it to become public that Lamia would |
not run at Newmarket, as she was touched |
in the mind"
The telegraphist engaged during a big |
cricket match had perhaps some excuse for |
describing the pause for refreshment as the |
luncheon internal" instead of interval but |
what can be urged for the man who in the |
MIDDLE OF prosaic provision market report, |
alleged that well CURED hairs not over fifteen |
pounds weight realized good prices" 1t cost |
the press man extra thought to discover |
that well cured hams" were the articles re- |
ported on.
Not many months ago prominent party !
leader, speaking in the provinces mentioned |
by name number of local gentlemen, prais-
ing them for their zeal and industry in the |
cause adding, as al emphasis: These are all |
friends, old well known friends" What /
would have been the feelings of the speaker |
or OF those mentioned had the report ap- |
peared In the newspaper exactly as it was |
telegraphed-that is, These are all frauds,
old well known frauds" In describing a |
horse race, the reporter wrote rather iudis- |
tinctly, it is presumed: THE favorite made |
all the running, and won by two lengths" |
The telegraphist who signaled the message |
was evidently not of sporting turn" as |
the best he could make of it was: The IA
yorite made all the winning, and ran by |
twilight" Another description was: .sThe !
pair ran together to the distance, where |
Avon Belle got in front, and eventually won.
after good race, by Week"
great many yarns OF peculiar errors are |
current in the service, many Of which are |
very conical, but, bearing the stamp of hay
ing been coylcocted for the SAKE Of the Joke /
N Ia sr1