Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1890-07-04

to see, sad and wishful; so went back,
determining to demonstrate and try to
break him Of his infirmity. ~
When diligently, in a calm, judi.
cial manner-and told him he snored
horribly and must try to stop 1t, he
looked at me with q reproachful gaze OF
indignation, surprise and grief. "What,
me" I could hardly convince him Of
his guilt-he referred me to his old
college chum. ASK him." said john
never heard him complain, but If I do
breathe sort O. heavy, why, just punch
me little or make me lie on my side"
! took him at his word that night ]
had almost dared to hope he would
sleep quietly, but of course he didn't
and SO, after listening about ten OF
fifteen minutes, I said: John, you're
snoring; turn overt" Again that look
OF reproach. 81 wasn't even asleep
Haven't BEEN asleep since lay DOWN.
After that no captain of naval ship
Unanswered his craft with more diplo.
macy and care than did / my unfortu.
nate good man. Punching him under
the short spare rib did no good, for he
was naturally more irritable asleep than
when awake, and, waking with bound.
would demand: what dye do that
for? Iwould sooner be hit clip"
But found, by persistently and un-
tiringly rolling him over on his side,
sometimes caught enough sleep to keep
my reason from tottering on her throne.
Then Jonathan's mother came on a
visit, and laid the matter before her.
why, is that SOP" said she, with her
quiet ripple of laugh. ~ never knew
Jonathan snored." But as she seemed
to take the matter as a joke, don't
disturb her equanimity, but listen
while she reads delicious bits here and
there from "Hiawatha." After bit I
look up and find her doing, and pres.
emily lost in amid-day nap, and soon a
familiar sound is heard, but modified
slightly, and I know now who John
takes after!
have always had woman's usual
timidity about burglars, and am still
more afraid of pistol. Thinking we
should have some weapon of defense,
my husband resurre cted an old slung.
shot Billy" relic Of his college days.
This he kept under his pillow. One
night his snoring intirmlty saved my
life, and will tell you how.
1t was Christmas times, and mince pie
had figured largely at Johns supper. As
had to lie awake lin consequence l
laughed as watched him in the throes
of terrible nightmare, and could al.
most read his thoughts as he slept. An
imaginative masked burglar just sue.
ceeds in picking the lock deep and agi.
tated shores on Johns part) Now he
enters the kitchen and stands gloating
over our tinware Ia groan and struggle
on my husbands part, and a horrible
snort). Now, in imagination, he sees
him secrete silverware and wedding
presents in big coat pockets John il
grinding his teeth in blood-curdling
manner), and, to my surprise, one of his
hands stealthily creeps under the pill.
low, grasps his slungshot "Billy." Al
this interesting juncture I slip out d
bed and stand by awaiting develop
| ments.
"Whack, whack, whack!" goes the
terrible weapon on the pillow where a
moment before lay my devoted head,
and my husband wakes from his night
mare to thank God he had not made q
terrible mistake and destroyed his wife
instead Of the robber.
Now if this keeps up he will certainly
be the death of me yet, though have re-
placed that fearful BILLY" among his
bachelor relics and hung a horseshoe
over the wedding present and trust te
lock and keys. No wonder l am grow
ing weaker and thinner daily, when
hear his nasal battle cry nightly
/ can't break him unless l kill him
and he is that good in his cart" that
haven't the heart to do that; but my
strength is tagging, slowly but surely
Old Pink, in Detroit Free Press