davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1890-11-13

highly (by the aforesaid ladies' that it
began to dawn on him that he was throw
ing time away writing dull editorials
when his real talent demanded he should
be humorist. And humor1st he
would be! One day he spent many hours
preparing humorous article, which he
was sure would stagger his readers. AT
the same time he thought it best to try
it on the foreman, who seemed to be
very Intelligent man.
Colonel Ito foremen, who has just en-
tered for copy)-John, have here an
article entitled "Autumnal ReverieS."
1t is humorous.
foreman (who, by-the-by, is looking
for an increase in his salary}-I always
did say you ought to write humorous ar
ticles. You are SO witty in converse
ton.
Co1onel-Thank you, John. / would
1ike very much to read my article to
some one before venturing to publish it.
Foreman smelling rat, but still
bearing in mind the raise)-I would be
most pleased to hear it.
The Colonel reads the article. When
the editor is not looking at him his fore
mars face is as joyless as closed sum-
mer resort; but should the editor look up
from his copy he would find his face
wreathed insunny smiles. There are only
few things short of crime man won't
do when he wants his salary raised.
Colonel latter reading the article)-
Now, Joh1. 1 want your candid opinion.
What do you think of it?
Foreman (the wicked man)-That,
sir, is one of the wittiest productions of
the age. Laughs long and loud.) Why,
sir, that lays over any thing Mark
Twain ever wrote. Very funny-very!
Colonel (handing him the copy)-Put
it on the first page. And-John!
Foreman ian unaccountable thrill of
anticipation coming over him)-Yes,
Colonel.
Colonel have been thinking, John,
that you are worth more than twelve
dollars week to me. Hereafter I will
make it fifteen.
Foreman-O, thank you! thank you!
(To himself as he goes out)-Taffy beats
strikes every time!
At twelve o'clock Colonel Gascom.
went out for his midday lunch,. but
when he got as far as the door, he OBJ
served dark llouds gathering. ard, fear
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1890-11-13
THE COAL COMBINE.

An ssInfant Industry That Receive. Sooth-
ing Sirup From DIR. Mckinley
The protectionists in Congress pre-
tended to be afraid that a slight reduc-
ton of the duty on coal would be disas-
trous to our coal mining industry The
duty was accordingly left at as cents a
ton.
What happens? The coal men from
the West and East meet in New York
and FIX" the prices of coal for the win
ter and determine the quantity which
shall be mined in October. At this
meeting the Western men decide to ad-
vance prices % cents ton at Buffalo
and Is cents at Chicago and other lake
points on October L The Eastern men
order an advance of 40 cents ton on
stone. 20 cents on nut and 10 cents on
broken sizes The quantity TO be mined
in October was fixed" at 5, 500, 600 tons,
against 8. 712, 900 for October, 1889 They
determine arbitrarily that the produc-
ton shall be 212. 600 tons less for a sin
gle month in order to sustain their in
creased prices
The coal men must have read that
passage in Mckinleys speech in the
Tariff bill where he says: I'VE want no
return to cheap times in our own coun-
try" and must have determined to take
him at his word Low prices are, ac-
cording to McKinley's idea, to be
avoided and even legislated against; and
the coal combine agrees with him pre-
cisely-
One class of people at least will not
agree with this notion of Mckinley and
the coal combine-the great working
masses of this country who live
in towns and cities; all those,
in fact who shall need to warm
themselves during the winter
by a coal fire They want their coal to
be as cheap as possible, whatever Nc
Kinley and the coal combine may think
about the beauty and excellence of high
prices
How long is this thing to 60 on? How
long are the men who have a monopoly
of Gods earth to be allowed to meet to-
gether and decide that the working
millions of this Nation shall have only
a certain quantity of the necessaries of
life. and only at prices which they
themselves have arbitrarily fixed?
More than that how long are these
working millions going to sustain the
political party which makes such things
Dossible9
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1890-11-13

designed to facil-
itate the tedious
work of butch
ering, by COM
pletely d o i n g
away with the
heavy. straining
work of lifting.
It is cheaply
constructed o I
three Eastwood
sticks thirteen
feet long. The
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1890-11-13
TO MY FRIEND MUELLER.
PROM HIS EVER FAITHFUL
MEYER

Let our protectionists initiate Muel-
Ter and Meyer, and then we shall have
Uncle Jerry's protection ''alike to the
same extent" Otherwise the former
will go on rocking the cradle for some
of these six-foot, whiskered infants,
while their infants don't get any rock
ipu at all -
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1890-11-13

The scarcity of ice this season has
vastly increased the labors of many .
farmers wife. With patent creamers
and ice near the barn or stable the wife
had little to do with the milk until the
ice suddenly gave out They under
stand now better than ever how ''bless-
ings brighten as they fly" The first
cold next winter that makes nine or
ten inches of ice will be eagerly well
coined.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1890-11-13
Selecting Trees.

There is nothing gained in selecting
large trees for transplanting. Young.
thrifty trees are easier to transplant,
will make better start to grow, and in
the end make better tree. Many pur-
chasing trees for an orchard make the
mistake of selecting three-year-
trees, under the impression that they
will come into bearing that much sooner
With the same idea in mind, they fail
to cut back the tops in proportion to
the roots. and the consequence is that
the tree is slow in making a start to
grow and loses in this way fully as
much, il not more time, than younger
tree.
1t is very important in selecting trees,
to get those that are vigorous and
healthy. With the majority of varieties
of fruits, two-year-old trees will give
more satisfactory results than older
ones.
Cut back the top in proportion to the
roots; in many cases it will pay to cut
off the whole top, leaving the straight
stem; then as the branches start out
select those that are the most desirable
and rub or cut off all others. A better
shaped and more vigorous tree can be
procured in this way. Such trees cost
less in the end. are more certain to
grow, and are more desirable in many
ways than larger. older trees.
A good plan in many localities is to
purchase what trees are wanted in the
fall, and heel them in carefully, then
set them out where they are to grow as
early in the spring as the condition OF
the soil will admit This avoids to a
considerable extent the risk of fall set
ting, and If put out early lessons very
materially she risk of spring planting.
Farm, Field and Stockman.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1890-11-13
A SERIOUS QUESTION.
ETHop orr
H&,lRoaO ST.

Mrs. Wellesley Vassar-Why are you
SO detected, Miranda? You have every
reason to be elated after having taken
the senior prize in classics, and your
essay on ''Deductive Philosophy" won
the admiration OF all the faculty. So
well-equipped girl should
Miranda Vassar = That's just the
trouble. How-how can I find . hus-
band who is able to sew buttons on, and
cook, and mind the-the-ohi (Weeps.)
Puck.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1890-11-13
sh. Might Better Change Places.

Mrs. Tangle-The cook is so indie
pendent that it's often hard to say
whether she is boss or I. Indeed, it's
only once a month that I feel sure
about it.
Mr.. Tangle-And when is that?
Mrs. Tangle-Oh, when l pay her her
wages.-Light.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1890-11-13

-NeEcomb-''It must be a pretty
hard struggle for you to support fami-
" of eighteen children" Kidder-'rOh,
make 'em pay their way Hire 'em
out to childless people who want to
take the children TO the circus TO see
the animals Puck
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1890-11-13

At the Embassy--First Diplomat
THAT man makes me tired" Second
Diplomat-'.Sh. He hears your Sec
ond Diplomat-.sTot think how much I
shall have to do to attain to his emil
hence Grocer
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1890-11-13
COLONEL GASCOM
His First Essay at Humor and
How It Ended.
Written for This Paper.l

TTEN, while at
tending church
fairs Colonel Gas
com, editor of the
Sayton Herald,
was called upon
to make a speech.
The Colonel al
ways responded
in his happiest
vein, and as the
ladies connected
with the IA ir 8
were all anxious
to s e e t b e i r
names in print,
b i 8 effort was
loudly applaud
ed, and he was
-1:o-xoJ 90
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1890-11-13
HANDY Derrick.

We are indebted to the Farm Journal
for the following description and cut of
handy derrick for farmers use: It is
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1890-11-13

BREEDING for sex is not a science
yet What is more. it probably never
will bo
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1890-11-13

-Mistress-'1 am surprised, Bridget
to see you straining the jelly through
one Of the fine napkins" Bridget-ssYe
needn't mind, mum It isn't a cIane
onan
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1890-11-13
THE BOY GOT 1T.
And After He Had 1t. Everybody in The C
Smiled.

And After He Had 1t, Everybody in The CT
Smiled
1t was in a passenger coach on the
Delaware & Lackawanna road A
woman who had a seat alone had a COW
cred basket on the other half Of it
Across from her was a mother and her
boy, the latter about eight years of age
He had been asleep, but awoke Just as
the woman with the basket got COM
fortably seated For about two mins
utes he wondered over the eontentA
then he settled down to the belief that
the basket held half peck of fried
cakes The thought made him hung-ys
and he whispered to his mother:
Ma, MAJ want iti'
She was leaning against she window,
and half asleep, and she made no reply.
Il say / want it," exclaimed the Lad
Yes Charley" she sleepily replied
Pm hungry
Yes"
''Will she care2'
No answer
Il say, Will she care?'
Don't bother mamma now, dear"
But can 1 get it2'
IL guess so. 3"
The owner of the basket was looking
out of the window. The boy watched
her for two or three minutes, and then
carefully slipped out of his seat to the
one in rear Of hers From that point
he could reach the basket and he lost
no time A peg held the cover In place,
and he drew 1t out and carefully pushed
his hand under the lid 1t was only
fairly in the basket when there was a
spit and hiss. followed by wild yell
from the boy, and next instant tbump-
ing big Tom cat which had nearly bit
ten a finger Of, leaped out of the basket
upon the boys head 1t stayed long
enough to draw blood from half dozen
scratches. and then bounded to the
floor, ran down the aisle and aeaped out
of an open window. The boys wells
reused the car in an instant and his
mother soon had him in her arms 1t
took several minutes to- explain the sit
uation, and then the woman with Che
basket added:
Il was a-takin' that cat up to my sis
ter Mary So 1t was my basket the boy
wanted, eh2 i heard him teasin' and
teasin', and his mother said he could
have 1T, and / guess to swum he got e
and all there was in it."-N. L. Sun
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1890-11-13
TO MY FRIEND MEYER. ::
FROM his EVER FAITHFUL
MUELLER :

Meyer then buys a cane of precisely
the same kind, and costing the same to
a penny, and he tremendously presents
it to Mueller with this inscription on it:
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1890-11-13

lin the Bric-a-brac Shop-'.Here is q
most beau tiful little cabinet style Louis
XIV" But it does not seem TO me to
be quite the style Of Louis XIV" 'sOb,
my dear madaIa. is is the Louis Fiji
teenthest thing / have in my whole col
lection "-Fliegsnde Batter.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1890-11-13

"A very smart young man in Savan-
nah tried to pay his street car fare with
500 bill The conductor was accom-
modating, and stopping the ear he went
into store and got the bill changed.
giving the young man shot bag full of
silver, amounting to S93 95
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1890-11-13

HOW Secrets Are kept-Maud-
'Can you keep . secret?'' Ethel-"yes.
whisper IL 20 ma"-Boston Herald.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1890-11-13

The man who declaims against rail-
roads and says they ought to be wiped
out. makes the biggest kind of fuss
when his train is Eve minutes late.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1890-11-13

The President said at Galesburg,
Ill, that restraints should be reserved
for the turbulent and disorderly." That
was only a week after he had signed
the Mckinley bill, which lays restraints
upon people who are neither turbulent
nor disorderly, but whose only offense
Is that they want TO buy and sell In GER
tain markets Yet it Is s'the Law Of thu
free"
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1890-11-13
Cheaper Ocean Posaake,

A movement is on foot to get cheaper
postage, and Postmaster-General wana-
maker has been writing letters in favor
of the scheme
What is the use of cheaper postage on
our letters to Europe at the very time
when we are trying with all our might
TO prevent Europe from selling US any
thing for fear that we may get our goods
too cheap? Moreover. is Wanamaker
going to desert the Mckinley idea that
there must be mo cheap times in our
own country?"
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1890-11-13
%aESSy.kES szsz!z:
49,

INSTRUMENTS FOR KEEPING SAWS IN
ORDER,
Morning appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1877-1906, 1890-10-17

In the District Court of the s. ate OF Ne
W la, msby C1unty, l.. o. Bradley
ainLiff VS. A. V. Bradl9 y defendant.
Action brought in the District G Nurt
OF tn ? State of Nevada. Ornsbv county
and the com plant filed in said co MY
in the office or TIE G e. k of said District
Court on the 10Th day OF June. A. L. 1886
The state of Nevada sends gre etlng to
A. V. Bradley defendant.
You are hereb required to appear in
an tlnn brought against yfu by the
above ma ID plaintIf IN the District
Court of tho st tie Il Nevada. crm SbN
codntv and answer complaint ii ed
therein within Ten days exclusive of
the day al serve after the rvice on
yDu of tots II MONS IL served II saiu
C)untt or if 80. Ned out of SAID county,
but within the d strict twenty days, in
all OIhe,- cases forty DAYS, or judi snlent
ny detaait will be taken against you ac-
col ling 10 the praye OF said c mpiaInt.
The said action is brought to obtain
the decree of this Court forever dissolv-
ing tn bond> of mat imoDy existing b.
tween ys'aintIff AMI defendant, the care,
custe6~ ma cstptrSl or their minor CHI III
drea, the cora Hnuniiy property aud
EeuerGs relief Far that plaintiff is and
for HAo'se than q yeaI last past has been
- resi6 ear Il O-nsby roUnfy Thst plain.
tin rad DEF. saa ant intcrmarried Nov. -
isea. 81 f~ass r teasaBt. Iewa. And ehw
Morning appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1877-1906, 1890-10-17

have ever since been and still are hus
GA nd and wife. That for more than
year last past defendant has wholly
neglected and refused and he still ne
elects and refuses to provide plaintiff
with the common neceSsarfes of life,
and such neglect is not and never was
{ e eSult of poverty on the part of the
defe ,dAnT which he donld NOT avoid by
orGinery industry, and the same is anu
ever has beeu without the fault of
piaipiid. .hAG ;ee'e are two minor
children isSue OF said marriage and
plaintiff is and defe dam is not a hit
perso.. To have their care and coutrOl-
That there : community property. All
ofwhich will more { lily appear from
said complaint 10 which reference is
hereby IN ade.
And you are hereby notified that if you
fail TO answer said complaint the said
plant iff will apply to the Court for relief
in said complaint demanded.
Given under my hand in Lyon eon"S5,
this 18th day of June in the year of our
Lord one thousand eight hundred and
ninety.
z. u. KNIGHT,
AugeSw6 attorney for Plaintiff.
Morning appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1877-1906, 1890-10-17
HON. Fl. F. BARTINE,

Republican candidate for Repre-
sentative in Congress, will address
the people of Nevada on the poilti-
cal issues of the campaign as fol-
lows:
Morning appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1877-1906, 1890-10-17
Republican Meetings.
CAMPAIGN OF 1890.
HON r x COLCORD,
Candi late for Governor, and
HON J STEPHENS,

Accompanied by
HON JOHN + EGAN,
Candidate for State Trea surer, and
HON JOHN Z JONES,
Candidate for Surveyor General,
Will address the people of Nevada
on the political Issues OF the CAM
paign as follows:
Morning appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1877-1906, 1890-10-17
ELECTION NOTICE


First Tuesday, the fourth day of No
vember next, at Curry Engine House,
in the first Precinct, Carson City and
at Armory Hall in the Second precinct
of Carson CITY, and at the Old Post
office Building at Empire, Ormsby
County, State of Nevada, an election
will be held for State, County and
Township officers, to wit:
One Governor
One Lieut.. Governor
One Congressman
One Judge of the Supreme Court
One Clerk of the Supreme Court
One State Treasurer
One State Controller
One State Printer
One Secretary of State
One Survey or General
One Attorney General
One State Superintendent of Pub
lie Instruction.
-Four District Judges for the Dis
trict of Nevada
One Regent State University,
long term.
One Regent State University,
short term
One Reclamation Commissioner,
long term
One Reclamation Commissioner,
short term
One Reclamation Commiss ioner,
uneXpired term
State Senator
3 Assemblymen
Sheriff
County Clerk
County X ecorder
County Assessor
County Treasurer
District Attorney and -of1icio
Superintendent of Schools.
Public Administrator
County Commissioner, long
term
I County Commissioner, short
term
Justice of the Peace, Carson
township
Justice of the Peace, Empire
township
Constable, Carson Township.
I Constable, Empire Township
School Trustee, Carson District
No I, long term
School Trustee, Carson District
No /, short term
School Trustee, Empire District
No ;, long term
school Trustee, Empire District
No , short term
I School Trustee, Clear Greek
District, No 5, long term
School Trustee. Clear Greek
District No short fern
School II ustee, Brunswick Dis
trict, No 4, long term
School Trustee, Brunswick,
District, No 4, short term
And upon the question Of calling
Constitutional Convention
Which said election will be opened at
O'Clock in the morning and will con
inue until s O'Clock in the afternoon
If the same day.
The ballots used at said election
'hall be of good quality of white
book paper, fourteen inches long BY
our and one-half inches in width.
The names thereon shall be in bur
geois or BREWER capitals, the designa-
ion of office in BREWER or nonpariel,
and the form of printing shall be on
the left hand margin of the ballot,
and there shall be printed on the bal
lots,
Constitutional Convention Yes, or
Constitutional Convention No.
Polling Places, Precincts and Inspect
OTS
Ist Precinct Carson City, at Curry En-
CINE House.
InspeCtsrs-L B Hastings, c. A
] K Newman.
md Precinct, Carson City, at Armory
Hall,
Inspectors-John X Cook, ] w
Sturgeon, Geo w Cowing.
Empire Precinct, Empire City at Old
Postoffice Building.
Inspectors = Eugene MAY, o S
Longabaugh, August Burgeois
Dated this 18th day of Oc,ober, A
D 1890. VIM HY DOANE,
Clerk of the Board of County Com
missioners of Ormsby Co New.
Morning appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1877-1906, 1890-10-17

Hon Francis q Newlands will
Join the party at Virginia and con-
tinue with them, speaking at diff
erent places during the campaign.
County COMMITTEES in the several
counties will please make the nee
q, sarv arrangements for the meet
ings. Z S1ROTHER, Chairman
F c LORD, Secretary. ola
Morning appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1877-1906, 1890-10-17

Group, Whooping Cna%h en-
Bronchitis Immediately re6- -
Sy asRG<zh's Cure.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1890-10-12

A correspondent of the New orleans
Times Democrat gives this inteIes'ine
bit of gossip of the author OF That ue'
IiobtfuI story. Don Milf: the name
of Virgiuius Dabney is one when was
we'll known throughout the oousn pc
fore its bearer achieved ms present
prominence in literature. Mr. DaDney
was borr at Elmington, Va. In 1872
but the same year his father, Thomas o.
Dabney. who was well known IN New
o cleans i'm ante bellum DAYS. emlgrated
10 Mississippi. Young Dabney lived IN
Mi.sissippi and was educated by private
tntors until he was sent TO the Univer-
sity of Virginia. After year spent 10
Enrope he studied law, and began It's
practice IN Memphis, but the war DreaK-
inc out he Joined regiment
of the Army of Northern Virginia, and
participated in most OF Its great
battles. He still carries as legacy ana
a reminder of war = bullet when was
lodged in his breast at second Manassas
and could not be extracted. lie was
captain on John b. Edwin 5 stan at the
surrender at Appomattox. Inc years
which followed were in strong contrast
to these exciting times, for Mr. Da6ney
then began to teach school, a calling
which he followed for twenty years.
He escaped from this occupation a few
years ago, the indirect result OF ms
having written during his vacations a
novel called Don Milf. This book had
considerable success in England as well
as in this country, aud has passed
through six editions. Its publication
led TO The author . being employed in a
literary way by various publishers and
finally to his engagement on the stan
of the New York Commercial Adver-
tisor >
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1890-10-12
Fuiersoniaa Simplicity.

Emerson's pitch is very high, and
nothing is more wonderful than the
simplicity Of his style IN dealing with
the most difficult and mysterious ques-
tions of life. But his simplicity is only
verbal. It requires a special culture to
euioy him thoroughly. lie, too, talks
about his subjects. His most intimate
friends could not be sure that they
knew precisely what he believed IN re-
gard TO those questions which must
have been. above ali others, interesting
10 him. We discover in his essays wit,
humor fancy shrewd common senAe'
and profound intuitive faculty. lie
makes d great many quotations, he re,
lates numerous anecdotes, aud he VIII
even condesceud TO play upon a word, as
when he SAYS that the highest ambition
of an ancient Egyptian seemed to be
10 be well buried, and that rich man
of that country might have been prop
erlv styled pyramidaire rather than
p millionaire. He is always charming
10 those who know how TO read HIM,
but you must not look for logical cohe-
renee. His sentences. TO use once more
bis often-quoted confession, are IN
finltely repelleut PARTICLES" he I'M
derstood his own limitations, and was
wise enough to observe them. We can
we'll imagine how tame aud lame a
formal argument would have been
from him. ard heartily rejoice that he
never returned to Gu; a thesis up into
firstly ard secondly. He gave US of bis
best, and, though he lett US little IN
struction. his work will always remain
a source of inspiTauOn.-New Orleans
PiCaVune.