Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-01-12
Bessie Bramble Discusses the Advent
of a New Society Fad.
SCORE BOOK OF ENTERTAINMENTS.
A System of Debit and Credit That is
to be DeplOred.
TRUE BASIS OF SOCIAL PLEASURE
rwnrrrrr Ton THE p1srArcH.I

might well be supposed, was above the
average purse. When open they look some
thing like commercial ledger, and the red
ruled columns and headings show that hospi-
tality in society has at last been put on
basis OF figures, and been reduced to a mat
ter of accurate bookkeeping.
Social intercourse, as conVentionalitv
dictates, Is now to be more matter of
merchandise than of Friendships system of
debit and credit-of barter and exchange by
which nobody need entertain another with
out receiving like return-dinner for
dinner, luncheon for luncheon, wedding
gift for wedding gift. The old-fashioned
notion-which still prevails outside OF
society organized on q business basis
holds that the pleasure OF a guests
company. or the enjoyment it gave
to him was the only payment a host could
ask or desire. To invite your friends to tea
or to dine and to give them the best the
house could afford, and thus secure mutual
enjoyment ''to him that gives and him that
takes" has usually been considered the
square thing. But to get even, under the
adoption of the new and coming code, the
social accounts will not balance until a re-
turn tea or dinner has been given at equal
expense and trouble on the other side-if
not more.
THE FEELING IT ENGENDERs.
"oh, heavensI there are those Smiths. I
owe them dinner, and must invite them,
though I wish they were in Jericho or
somewhere TAR enough off to never hear of
them again," was what a hostess said when
poring over her book before inviting some
friends to an entertainment. "And there are
those Brownsville stupidest lot under the
shining heavens-but they must have
card because owe them reception, and I
must get them off nv mind some time"
Then for the weddings the books are gone
over, and the names are scanned and re-
scanned, and studied and restudied, as to
their commercial value, and as to how they
may perhaps pan out in the line of presents.
This Is usually large transaction, and may
ultimately prove to be a bad bargain as
many have found to their sorrow because, by
the new code, wedding presents are not
given so much out of desire to help the
| young folks along, or as tokens of love and
good will as formerly, but rather as things to
be recorded and returned when the proper
time comes. Many bride, clarifying over
her wedding presents and rejoicing in the
beautifylng of her house Herewith, finds it
atterward a terrible trial to pay for
them after the same fashion, so as to keep
her social books balanced.
Then by the fashionable usage the ex-
penses of entertainments even, enter into
the account. A woman of wealth invites
number of her friends to a dinner per-
haps. She loads her table with luxurious
delicacies, with an unconscionable number
of courses, costly menu cards, and favors
She adorns her house with extravagant
display, and fairly weighs down her guests
with sense of obligation as the thought of
return burdens some of their minds like
nightmare.
When the time comes for each guest to
balance the account brains are racked, bank
accounts are strained, family rows may be
raised by the master OF the exchequer, but
the obligation, as understood, must be met,
for what woman, ambitious for society
honors, likes to be posted as bankrupt or a
dead beat any more than a man does among
his fellows.
1t is the same old story as to treating. One
man invites his fellow man to take a drink.
then the fellow man feels bound to return
the compliment and stand treat likewise
neither one OF them perhaps caring a cent
about the other.
TEETH THE GIFT HORSE.
There used to be an old proverb to the
effect that it was not courteous or advisable
to look gift horse in the mouth but the
new code of society rather puts quietus on
this ancient piece of wisdom, since at every
fashionable entertainment are heard esti-
mates of its cost per plate. "Ice cream and
cake are a very slim sort Of layout for
people who have such loads of money" said
NJ &bos,.
wealth it might be supposed they would
have something more filling and substan-
tial."
"Well, think it good idea," said the
other; land it is very comforting to me,
since need do no more in return"
Such vulgarity and manners in return for
hospitality would seem to be incredible were
they not SO common. They are the compo-
nent factors oil this new commercial code of
hospitality that is growing in society.
Solitude is not good for man or woman
either. They need company. They find in
tercourse with their fellows delight and a
source of Joy, until each association is so
hemmed around with conventional restric-
tions that it becomes a bore rather
than a pleasure. II women in society
had power to think, or judgment to consider,
they would find in this conventionalized
merchandise method the reason why men of
sense hate their entertainments, and are
bored beyond measure at receptions which
they are compelled to attend.
MEN PREFER SUBSTANTIALS.
Men are not given to display and care but
little for grandeur. They prefer the good
things of life without too many frills. The
petty details in which women are buried
and smothered are to them mint, anise and
cummin, and not the weightier matters of the
law. The most sumptuous dinners, which
men get up for themselves, and from which
they exclude women, are those where the
speeches and responses to toasts count for
more than the menu printed in French,
and tied with satin ribbon, and the favors
at the plates, and the satiny fneness
of the linen, the Royal Worcesterness of the
china, the sterlingness of the silver, and the
depth and fine points of the cut glass. In the
accounts Of a famous dinner in New York a
few days ago nothing was said as to all these
matters; the eloquent speechesof Chauncey
Depew, General Howard, Genral Sherman,
DR.. Brown and others on subjects concern
ing the country and the welfare of society
occupied nearly IL columns of New York
paper, while the dinner, as an event, was not
mentioned in the society notes.
This should show women or give them an
idea on entertaining.
Better is dinner of herbs where love is,
than a stalled OK and hatred Herewith"
says the Psalmist, and many man puts the
sentiment another way when he declares he
would rather have a plain. good dinner
even corned beet and cabbage friend
or two without style, than any French
menu and fripperies that can be set up with
all the luxurious appointments that hath
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