Morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven [Conn.]) 1848-1894, 1890-02-20
IMAGINARY.

If the red sleigher thinks he sleighs this
season he must have vivid imagination.-
Boston Gazette. 1r.
hair is to fall down when 1t IL all her OWL
Tsrre Haute Express.
Customer Ito popular barber)-"What il
the first requisite of success in your busi-
nessg" Barber-"Chseks, sir, plenty of
cheeks. ."aDraks's Magazine.
O'Flynn Grading death notice. Poor
Jim! i says he left wife and two children.
Mrs. O'Flynn-O Ooh, ye might know that. He
was too mean to iver take thin anywhere wild
him. -Munsey's Weekly.
Not Dealing in Futures.-(At the perfume
counter) clerk (handing out q bottle)-"This,
madam, is the "Swset By.and-By.'" Lady
(smelling it)-"Umphl It may be sweet by
and-by, but it's awful now."-Harper's Bazaar.
She Was Right. ht.-Mabel-s'Did you hear
that Bessie Willis was married yesterday to
Tom Guzzier'" 'Really9 I thought
she would be the last person to marry him. "
Mabel-"Well, she was, wasn't shea"-Har-
ward Lampoon.
Wiekwire-I am glad Nudge is about to
marry. I hope 1t will change him. He has
been going down hill for some time. Mr.. N.
Peck-He won't be any more. It will be an
uphill business after he marries. s.-Terre
haute Express.
The woman who wants to mako q garden
always lives next door to the woman who
keeps chickens. This is said to never fail,
and was sent in by q woman who lives next
door to q woman who keeps chickens.-Atch-
ison (Kan.) Globe.
A tramp halted at the house of lady in
the suburbs Of Texas city and said to the
lady Of the house: "Please give q poor man,
who is travelling and who is away from
home, tribe to pay his expenses" "H you
haven't got any money to pay your expenses,
why do you traveli Why don't you stay al
home as I dol" replied the astonished female.
Texas Siftiugs.
A Precociou. Youngster. Teaohel(to class
misguided wretch was taken to prison,
what part of speech is tpoorP Johnny Bliv-
ens's hand is raised. Johnny may answer. u
Johnny Blivens-" Poor is an Unnecessary
word, nom. There amt any rich misguided
wretehes ever taken to prison. Chicago
Tribune.
81 never was so ashamed of my Ignorance
in my life as has today" said Bass. 81
went into store and there was q lady In
there with q dog. The woman spoke French,
and, If you'll believe it, that dog understood
every word she said, and couldn't undsr-
stand syllable of It'll After that I shall
never be able to look dog In the face."-
Boston Transcript.
"Mornin' paper, sira" sang out the news
boy. "Only cents" Here's cents, son.
n.y." replied facstious customer. "Ksep
the cents, buy cake of soap with II, and
give your face washing" The newsboY
handed back the change with great dignity.
''Kesp the change yourself, sir," he said,
"and use 1t in buying book on decorum,
| siri"-Chicago Tribune.
"Can you tell me-" he ausried a. he en-
tered the City Hall-"can you inform me-.'
"What is itl'' "Upon my soul, but I have
forgotten what I wanted to inquire for.
Well, never mind" He toiled slowly up tive
pairs of stairs and was resting after his as-
cent, whom he suddenly slapped his leg and
exclaimed: "I've got I'll wanted to AK him
whore the elevator wasi"-Detrsit Free Press
Life In Pizen Creek.-Judge Pulltrigger-
els your verdict guilty or not guilty9" Fore.
man Bill Caparejo (of the Dead Hoss Ranch)
1--WE want to ask one question: The evil
dence shows that the prisoner shot at ths
man six times, and then only hit him once ir
the foot. Ain't there no law ag'in' such pool
shootin'p Judge Pulltrigger (reluctantly)-
"No." Foreman Bill Caparejo (sadly) )-''No
guilty, then. Texas Siftings.