The Globe-republican., 1890-07-02
r. JEROME K.
J E ROME has
C m e forward
rece ntly, says
the Philadelphia
Press, as a rep
resentative Brit

labOrlOuS duty to represent cOntem-
porary British humor, and we have no
means of knowing whether Mr.. Jerome
is an accredited representative or not.
But he does very we'll; and if his jest
ing jades US 1t is charitable to remem-
Der that we live in land which abounds
with testers. One of these, Mark Twain,
has inspired Mr.. Jerome. The mimicry
of manner is manifest, not only in the
idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow" and
''Three Men in Boat" but in ''Stage-
Land" a lively little volume character
istically illustrated by J. Bernard Par
fridge, and from which we extract the
following choice bits for the amusement,
we trust, of our readers:
His name is George. generally speak
ing. Gail me George" he says to the
heroine. She calls him George lin very
low voice, because she is so young and
timid). Then he is happy.
The stage hero never has any work to
do. He is always hanging about and
getting into trouble. His chief aim in
life is to be accused of crimes he has
never committed, and if he can middle
things up with corpse, in some COM
plicated way, SO as to get himself rea-
sonably mistaken for the murdered, he
feels his day has not been wasted.
He has wonderful gift of speech and
flow of language calculated to strike
terror to the bravest heart. 1t is
grand thing to hear him bullyragging
the villain.
The stage hero is always entitled to
estates chiefly remarkable for their
high state of cultivation and for the &C.
centric ground plan of the "manor
house" upon them.
The house is never more than one
story high, but it makes up in green
stuff over the porch what it lacks in size
and convenience.
The stage hero is very powerful
man. You wouldn't think it to look at
him, but you wait till the heroine cries
"Help! Oh, George save me-" or the po-
lice att empts to run him in. Then two
villains, three extra hired ruffians and
four detectives are about his fighting
weight.
If he knocks down less than three
men with one blow, he fears that Re
must be I'll and wonders s'why this
strange weakness"
The hero has his own way of making
love. He always does it from behind.
The girl turns away from him when he
begins (she being, as we have said, shy
and timid), and he takes hold of her
hands and breathes his attachment down
her back.
She is always in trouble and don't
she let you know it, too? Her life is
undeniably hard one.
Nothing goes right with her. We all
have our troubles but the stage heroine
never has any thing else. If she only
got one afternoon a week off from her
trouble. or had her Sundays free, it
would be something.
But, no! misfortune stalks behind her
from weeks beginning to weeks end.
After her husband has been found
guilty of murder, which is about the
least thing that can ever happen to him,
and her white-haired father has become
a bankrupt, and has died of broken
heart, and the home of her childhood
has been sold up, then her infant goes
and contracts lingering fever.
She has great flow of language, and
a wonderful gift of metaphor and smile
more forcible than elegant-and this
might be rather trying in wife, under
circumstances. But as the
hero is sentenced to ten years. penal |