St. Landry democrat., 1890-09-13
WIT AND HUMO q.

A Paris milliner has made a ten-strike
by teaching her parrot to say every time
fair client enters "Oh, amt you just
lovely
Teacher. tbs past tense Of
see % Pupil Seed" whats your
authority for that form r' ga sign in the
grocery store" "What does it say II
Timothy seed
Native Ito stranger)-"We have always
a west wind here. stranger but the
wind now is right from the east. Ma
tive: "Oh, that's the west wind coming
back you know"
Analysis has brought to light the fast
that ice cream frequently contains glue.
But it never seems to hurt the girls.
Somehow it's always the young man who
gets stuck
Scene at ''home" boarding school ;
girls, in an upstairs room, eating giuger
Snaps, apples, etc bell below rings !;
one girl starts up exclaimtng Come,
girls, let's stop eating and go down TO sup
per ~
Indignant stenographer to importunate
collector. -"Why, great Scott, man You
told me when bought IL that the type
writer would pay for itself in three months
If it hasn't done it, you can't come on me
for it.
Little four-year. old Matte complained
to mamma that her shoes were hurting.
''Why, Matte you've put them on the
wrong feet" Puzzled and ready to cry,
she made answer, ''Whatll | do, mamma Z
They's all the feet got
The following notice. is posted on
fence in Morris county, Georgia eff any
mans or woman's cows or OK glfs IN
these here oats his or her tail wilr be cut
off as the case may be. am Christian
man and pay my taxes"
"How far back can you remember,
Bobby p asked his uncle. "Well, said
Bob, 81 can remember when l didn't
know how to play marbles" mo further
back than that?' "Oh yes | can remem-
Der when | couldn't remember at all.
Before our marriage complained the
wife, you assured me that my pathway
through life should be 5trewn with roses,
whereas | spend my evenings mending
stockings" We'll, darling, you know
YOU couldn't walk on roses barefeoted On
account of the thorns.
Faithful Domestic-"Please, mum,
you'll have to git another dog or | won't
STAY" Mistrees-"I mourn thu loss OF
poor Fldo as much as you do, but, don't
think of leaving the house Cd that &C
count" Faithful Domestlc-"But mum,
YOU don't have to wash the plates. '-Neao
York Weekly.
Yabsley; eff ever | marry shall
marry a womsn of education WICK
wire used to talk that way myself
Rut. in fact, | never had thought OF
marrying the present Mrs. Wickwire until
one day l got letter from her announcing
that her uncle had "dide" and left her 10
900 'dollers.
Husband-This gymnasium exercise IS
a great thing for one, Gan tell you. why
Spent an hour and half on the rowing
machine this afternoon aud didn't feel
bit tired. Wife-(uex5 norpng)-l WISH
you'd shovel path through the snow out
to the gates Husband-Do you want me
| 10 break INV back, Sarah7 60 and ges
some tramp 20 do it.-lEunsTQ'S WetklV.
If woman does not like man she can
| charsc,er12e him as no man ever could.
| A certa n Young man, MIR. Smith. was
| noted for an extraordinary and perennial
| smile, Que of his lady schooi-ma'es de.
scribed meeting with him thus: "as |
was going out of church l saw smile
down by the door when came nearer l,
| discovered that Mr.. Smith was around it. -
~ want lick box" "Yuu must go to
| the SUPERINTENDENT, madam" was the re-,
ply of til. box clerk at the postotfice the
| other day as was unlocking my box and
taking my mail. And this reminds me OF
little story heard month or two ago
1t seems a young married lady had or
dered the clerk to keep all mail matter re,
ceived at the postoffice for her until called
ior The clerk had forgotten the lnlunc'
ton and knowing the address of the LADY
had sent letter to the house "hethef
her husband had seen it and scene fol
lowed is not known, but the lady made 1t
| hot for the clerk The lady now has her
! own box and hel mail matter is seen by no
eyes but her own.