davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-10-22
The New England Boniface and the
Amateur Photographer.


If there is any one thing which
the average New England boniface
of the small town type breads, it is
the possibility of some erratic genius
choosing his hotel as the most suita-
BILE place for his leave taking from
life. AS result he scrutinizes his
guests closely, tiptoes through the
halls after hours, peeps through key
holes, and does a heap Of spying.
Mark Smith, the well know comedi-
an, had an experience with an hotel
of this sort, and was naturally much
wrought up over the extraordinary
surveillance to which he was subjected.
Marks fad is amateur photography,
and he finds not little pleasure in
manipulating his camera among the
picturesque scenes which abound in
New England. Mark was stopping
in the village of -, and had OBJ
tanned several much priced plates.
After the performance he betook him.
self to his room to develop them. He
appropriated the red globes over the
hall lamp, and prepared to exclude
all actinic light from his room by
stuffing up the keyhole in the door
leading to the hall and covering the
transom. He had just commenced
the developing process when there
came vigorous rapping on the door.
"Welll" spoke up Mark in an an
noyed tone.
"Open that door," said. the voice
without; "open it lively, too"
"Wait just a minute, I'm busy
answered Mark, with an indignant
accent on the word "busy."
"Of course you are" replied the
voice outside, little more gruffly
that's what / am rapping here for
Come open that door. or I'll break il
in" This declaration was empha.
sized by heavy pressure against the
thin panels, which made them creak
ominously.
whats the matter with you 2
again spoke up Mark, interrogatively
as he balanced the plate on the side
of the light.
But the answer to this was another
attempt to force the lock.
Finding it useless to parley with
the stranger without, he covered his
cherished plate carefully, and opened
the door with an indignant, "well ?"
"Well," repeated the landlord, for
it was he, "you can't come that game
here. You can't fool me by stuffine
up that keyhole and covering the
transome. You can't turn on the gas
60 to bed and wake up corpse. Il
you want to commit suicide. 60 over
to Bill Jones place, and I'll pay fol
your lodging"
Mark in vain protested that suicide
was not in his line, but the old bohi
face took his pipe from his pocket
lighted it and sat contentedly on a
stool opposite his door all night. In
the morning Mark changed his quar-
ters.-New York Star.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-10-22
Making it Right With the Court

An amusing incident occurred in
Judge Fishers court the other day,
which has just been made public.
Judge Fisher is very digni6ed man
while on the bench, and if ever before
smile was known to sweep across
his solemn face during court hours
the fact is not of record.
A juror failed to answer to his
name when called, and an attachment t
was issued for him. He was brou ght
in two hours later by a deputy
sheriff, and, standing before the judge
received severe reprimand.
"Your honor" said the juror, in
self.justification, II have been very
sick, and the doctor forbid me to
come"
The man evidently spoke the truth,
and Judge Fisher replied: "Well,
that being the case, you will not be
fined, but must pay the cost Of this
attachment. You may go then, and
report here promptly next Monday
morning"
"But, your honor, my doctor says l
will not be able to sit on a jury for
two years."
"All right" good naturedly the
judge, make those statements Mon
day, and if you are not able to serve
l will excuse you"
This seemed to satisfy the gentle
man, and yet he did not go as permit
ted to do, but began funbling in his
vest pockets as if looking for some
thing
"You may go, repeated the Judge.
"Yes, your honor, thank you you
will excuse me; l haven't got cigar
with me, your honor. l thought I
had, but l haven't. If l ever meet
you -"
"Mr. Sheriff." thundered the Judge,
but before he said more the juror re-
allied he had made bad mistake,
and retreated in good order.-St.
Louis Republic.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-10-22

At that time the Lancers was high
in popular favor, and had peculiar
charm for lively young feet. Gener.
al Harrison's opposition to dancing
was well known and discussed, but
despite this, Mollie Scott and her
brother Henry enjoyed the dance as
thoroughly as any. When it became
Mollie's turn to entertain at her sis
ter's home, she said sadly:
"I'm afraid we won't have a pleas
ant time. | won't dare ask brother
Ben to let us dance, for l know it
would do no good
"The evening came, and strain
of the favorite quadrille set every
foot tapping, but there was the gen.
eral and his wife sitting across the
hall. One of the boys suggested that
they fool Ben by making him think
the dance was a game. The unholy
scheme Immediately jumped into ia
vor, and Mollie, with two others, went
timidly across the hall and said:
"Ben, do you care if we play tuck
err
'TuckerF said Ben, what's tuck
er?'
"Oh, it's sort of play where the
boys and girls get around in ring,
with an odd one in the center, called
tucker, and when they promenade he
steals some ones partner, and the one
left is tucker, was the unblushing
reply.
"The general said he didn't care
what they played, when Mollie said
she didn't know but he might, as they
stepped around to music, and one
companion chimed in with, some.
thing like the old fashioned weevily
wheat"
"The girls few back across the
hall with beaming faces, and it didn't
take many minutes for the dance to
be going with the additional feature
Of tucker in the center. The plan
worked fnely.-Boston Globe.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-10-22
How Harrison Was Fooled.

General Harrison being an elder
in the Presbyterian church, the in
augural ball and the dancing have
provoked much gossip. A promin.
ent society lady here tells good
story on him.
"At the close of the war;" she
said, IL was one of club composed
of about IL couples of young people
and Mollie Scott, the youngest sister
Of Mrs. Harrison, was also a member.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-10-22

Moritz Saphir, the witty Australian
journalist, was once standing in a
crowded theater. Some one leaned
on his back, thrustIng his head over
his shoulder. Saphir drew out his
handkerchief and wrung the mans
nose violently. The latter started
back. "Oh, I beg your pardon" said
Saphir; II thought it was mine. -
Argonaut.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-10-22

He just introduced What a very
homely man that gentleman near the
piano is, Mrs. Hobson.
She-Isn't hep That is Mr.. Hob.
son.
He equal to the occasion)-How
true it is, Mrs. Hobson, that the home.
ly men always get the prettiest wives.
-Tid-Bits.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-10-22

On the Frontier.-"Brother Buck.
skin Bob will please stand at the door
while the collection is being taken UP
and let no one escape" said The front.
ier missionary in a ringing tone
Deacon Lariat Ned will pass the
hat."-New York Herald.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-10-22

Explained. Mrs. Youngbride-
How is it that you charge cent a
quart more than the other milkmen?
Waterpotts-Madam, you must re-
member that all my milk is hand.
milked. That, of course, makes the
price little higher.--Light.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-10-22

A religious paper recently printed
the following paragraph: "Our sub
scribers have had their impulses quick
ened spiritually by reading the gooc
things we have provided for them
but their impulses to pay their sub
scription continue to be very dormant.
New York Tribune.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-10-22

Delegates are dangerous, aren't
they, pa?" said CoDgressman's boy
Sometimes" replied his father, think.
ing of the last election. That's why
you hear a delegate at large every
once in a while, isn't it?"-Washing-
ton Post.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-10-22

An infallible sign. Weeks-I'll
wager a new hat that man over there
is schoolmaster.
Potts-Nonsense, how do you know
Weeks-Oh, tried his hand on the
seat of the chair before he sat down on
it.-Life.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-10-22

Wrong, but no matter. "The cen.
sus," read Smith aloud the other even
ing, embraces 20,0O0,000 women"
"Happy man" commented Simp-
kins, who had just awakened from a
doze in in the corner.-Judge.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-10-22

Dyspepsia and disappointment in
love seem to produce the same out
ward effect. The difference between
them is that dyspepsia is very hard
to cure.-Somerville Journal.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-10-22

Five hundred newspapers have an.
ticipated US with the remark, "now
that Congress has adjourned let the
President issue his Thanksgiving proc
lamation." But the President is
waiting for the base ball season to
cl0se.-Norriston Herald.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-10-22

Mrs Potts-"What time was il
when you got home last night p Mr.
Potts-"Really, / don't know, my
dear. l was so abashed by getting In
so late that could not look the clock
in the face" indianapolis Journal.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-10-22

1t is not surprising that the young
man should steal kiss from the
pretty girl he takes fishing. 1t is
perfectly proper for them to have a
fishing smack. k.-Boston Herald.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-10-22

"Do you think that literature is on
the decline ?" asked one aspirant of
another. 81 must say it appears so to
me. Everythl Z l write seems to get
declined" d."-Washington Post.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-10-22

When a young woman says any
thing mean about man she always
winds up her remarks by saying
"And the men are all ke."-Atkin.
son Globe.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-10-22

How He Showed lido you
think he really loves youi" 81 am
sure of it. He does nothing but quar-
rel with me every time we meet. -
Terre Haute Express.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-10-22

Fame is a glorious thing to achieve
but small salary is more negotiable.
-Binghamton Leader.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-10-22

Ethel-"Poor Clara She is grow.
ing old" Maud-"It must seem sad
to you, seeing you have known hel
since she was an infant in arms
New York Herald.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-10-22

The young beau's motto: Consider
the Lilies, of course, but keep your
eve on the Mabels and the Gertrudes
too.-Somerville journal.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-10-22

Pleasantries-"I must tire you,
said the blacksmith. "Well," spoke
up the hub, wheel have to bear it.
New York Herald.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-10-22

A man of flighty disposition should
never be made the cashier of bank
-Pittsburg Dispatch.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-10-22

Widower-Will you share my lot
Widow-No, it's full. / was up in
the cemetery looking at it yesterday
Life.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-10-22

Some men buy umbrellas, some
men achieve them, and some get wet
and swear.-Texas Siftings.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-10-22

The hardest trial of the heart is
whether it can bear a rivals failure
without triumph.-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-10-22

Sulphur and birthstone are on the
free list. SO is salvation. Now take
your choice. Great harrington News.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-10-22

Love is blind but your mother.in-
law isn't.-Somerville Journal.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-10-22
MICHIGAN CENTRAL
"Ths Niagara Falls Route"
Time Card in Effect.

Daily. : Daily except Sunday. Parlor car on
day trains and sleeping night trains.
J. WHITING, Ticket Agent.
o.w. RUGGLEs. G. p. & T. Agt.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-10-22
WIT AND HUMOR.

A deer country-Stagnation.-
Yenowine's News.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-10-22
0, l. PARTRIDGE.
Real Estate Agent

Rooms 4, 5, Dawson Block.
VIII take charge estates for residents and non.
residents collect rents pay taxes, place insurance
obtain abstracts OF title, etc.
ONCE hours-10 to "A. NJ, to6P.M.
, 1890-04-30
Emin Pasha and the Ger
mans in East Africa.
Bagumoyo, March 81.

A<AAH 'AAN "f
Emin Pasha, who has long been
dalIying between the English and
German administrations, HIS now
finally accepted the proposals of
Major WiSSmann. He has definite
ly entered the German service on n
salary of Gl,00O a year, abandoning
all thoughts OF returning to Europe.
Accompanied by several German
officers and 200 Nioudanese soldiers,
he will leave Bagasoyo with a urge
caravan for the interior about the
middle of April. The porters engng-
ed say they are to receive extra
wages to march with the greatest
speed to Lake Victoria Nyanza.
The evident intention is to make trea-
ties for Germany in all directions.
Zanzibar, April |.
The news ofEmin Pasha's decision
IS received very untavourab'y here.
His present position is almost UNI
parnlleled in history. His rescue,
which was effected at SD great All
expenditure of time and money, is
absolutely re>ultless regarding him
self. Within four months of reaching
the coast he returns us a paid subor-
dinate officer of a German company
to the very ATTITUDES where he SO
, 1890-04-30

hOur underground, Just as 8 we condemn.
ed it nearly half q century ago. They
have settled the age under which children
ought not to be employed in mines at IA,
and in other work at y. They have laid
down that girls and women above Is should
nor work at night or Oh Sundays. They
are in favour Of ono day Of rest in the
week, and, with the exception of the
French delegates, consider that the uni.
versal day of rest should be Sunday. These
regulations, SuppoSimg them to be adopted
10y the countries concerned, will bring the
conditions of foreign labOpr to some extent
into harmony with 0urOwn. This is not mere
~ a matter Of sentimental satisfaction TO
us. Lord Salisbury justly remarked Ill
the House Of Lords some days ago that our
working population has for many years
past been working at y disadvantage III
comparison with that Of other countries.
In this sense, the general adoption OF the
principles laid down by the Conference
will he an act Of Justice to our own la6Our-
ers, who will no longer have to struggle
against the cheap labour of immature
children, or the Seyen-day week OF the
Continental workman.
The Emperor is certainly to be COngratu.
lated upon the work he set in motion. 1t
is likely enough that Germany, and, indeed,
t~he""greater part Of Europe, would have
had to wait long enough for better days if
this young autOCrat had not become pene.
trated with the ambition to give antocracy
q high ideal. His lmpetuOSity-for nothing
is more remarkable about this Conference
than the despatch with which it has been
planned summoned, and dismisSrd-has
been crowned with a considerable measure
Of success, 1t Is impossible to say whether
the next stage will be equally successful
whether the countries interested will give
effect 10 these recommendations without
whiting them ,lOWn so as to be compare.
lively valuelrss. For ourselves, we do not
anticipate such Il diSCreditable ending. 1t
iS.ssprtain that Germany herself will lose
no time, the Emperor will see to that. In
other countries too, whore the Govern ment
rests in any degree upon popular represent
alton, it will be impossible to resist the
demand for legislation in accordance with
tn" conclusions of the Conference. The
German Emperor, therefore, may p!ide
himself upon having in Il couple of months
advanced the cause o. Humanitarian reform
more than ii has advanced in most cOun.
tries during fifty years. Perhaps for ages
his action may be cited rs The classic illus.
tratiOn Of the intimate, abiding alliance
between military autocracy and Socialism,
a more Striki NC iiluStl alton even than that
which Des Idfes Napol6oHitnnes afforded.
At any rate, it seems likely to be long
memorable as marking the point at which
the paths of the young Emperor and his
venerable counsellor diyergcd.
, 1890-04-30

HIS present employers are @sct've,
Jealous rivals of the English, Nlm
organized his rescue, and blk ptes~nt
engagement compela him TO ne. pre-
jndicially 40 their interests if he
fu'fls his duty towards The Germans.
Il is difficult to believe thar Ewsin
Pasha's choice is altogether spontans-
Gus. Much is probably due to his
accident at Bagamoyo, much to III.
health and his known indecision Of
character as opposed to the vigour
and determination of his present
employers. The caravan is leaving
ut the worst season OF the year, and
it is evidently intended to anticipate,
if possible, the English plans. TIA
success, however, is very Doubtful
The Zanzibar shops have been ram
sucked to supply presents for the
new German subjects to be enrolled
by Emin.
Persistent rumours declare thal
Major Wissmann is in active negotis.
ton for the services OF Tippoo lib.
The German Consnl,GeneraI has
published a proclamation by Major
Wissmann prohibiting the entry Of
all curava rs into German territory
lying between Tanga Pangani and
KiIima-Njaro unless with his special
permission. This sweeping and un-
expected measure practically closes.
all trade routes into Central Africa.
Tor the British Company, who have
as yet no available trade route
through Masailand.
The Germans are everywhere dis.
playing the utmost activity. The
German Consul General is leaving
on a Stste visit 10 the Sultan of
With, in the German war ship Carol
In, with a considerable escort.
1t is reported that the Sultan
of Zanzibar has made peace be.
tween the Germans and Bwana Herr,
and that the latter, who recently
piIlaged q large Arab earavan, 10
coming Immediately to re-rstablish
himself at Sandani. me Germans
are evidently endeavOuring to adjust
all differences with the tribes on the
coast, in order 10 husband their
energies for their extended enterprise
further up country. 4, e. -,
Doubts are entertained IN many
quarters whether the much-taIketl-Nf
attack on KiIwa is intended at all in
presence OF ore urgent schemes tor
colonial expansion towards the IN
terror.
Arab letters received yesterday
from Uganda represent Ksrema md
the Arabs with him as seeking the az
Sistance of the SoUdan Mahdis's to
dislodge Mwangn, who has declared
himself u Christian. -.
Her Mnjtsty's ship Kingisher left
to-day for Mozambique with Consul
Johnston.
Styyid Abdul Aziz, having failed
in his attempts on the Muscai t%lirene,
is coming ffom Ptmba ! o Z"nz.bar
TO try his fortune against the reign
ing Sultan, ol whom he is the only
surviving brother. soa . j
:; April 2. *.
Six hundred SOudaness trOopa
, 1890-04-30

atrOciOus criminals are not executed for
twelve months or more after their coudem-
nation to death,
, 1890-04-30

o
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1890-06-04
AN AWAKENED CONSCIENCE.

Through my open window, summer breezes
Is strnying,
Bring the shouts OF sohool.boys with their mar
3# bles playing. @a.%@
Merry littlo urchtns, full Of fun and noise,
Not . oare Of trouble. Happy little boys
Watch that little fellow; hear him gaily lest;
He Is very lucky, winning from the rest.
hear girls voice saying: atom. you must
not play
And keep the marbles that you win. What viii
mamma say"
'Oh," replies young Tommy, with happy smile.
As he adds more marbles to his growing pile,
''Nobody's aoheattn. we 'ro al s.playin' fair.
And I'm almost certain mamma would MT care.
So the game continues. Tommy still Is winning,
And he never questions whether he II SHINING
Tommy's luck is changing, md tho happy smile
Leaves his face as quickly rs tho marbles leave
his Pile.
Now the game Is ended. md he counts the cost:
Crookeres mfbs. and agates, all oh all aro lost!
~Give me back my marbles" Tommy wildly
weers.
Mamma says it s wicked when you play for
keeps"'
-Nettie II. Pelham, In St. Nicholas.
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1890-06-04
HISTORY OF STOVES.

The Stuba OF tho Romans and Cardinal
Polignac's Iron Contrlvance.
A heating apparatus called ''stuba"
(stove) was widely used among the
higher classes of Romans as far back as
the beginning OF the Christian era. The
stuba was fixed and immovable, besides
being in several other respects wholly
unlike the stove with which we are so
we'll acquainted. In Germany and in
Scandinavia they were much used in
bathrooms and lighthouses during the
Middle Ages. They were usually con-
structed of bricks or tiles, and were OF
immense size, sometimes large enough
to cover the whole side of twenty or
thifty-foot room, often extending out in
to the room ten to twelve feet, in which
case the smooth, fat top was used in
stead of bedstead, the heated surface
imparting an agreeable warmth in the
nights when covers were quite rare.
Cardinal Polignac Of France was per-
haps the first to attempt the construc-
ton of stove wholly Of iron; this
about the beginning of the eighteenth
century; most writer's have settled on
the date of 17O6 as the time when the
good Cardinal perfected his great i'm
provements. In 1915 DR.. Desangliers,
of London, England, modified the Pol
ignac stove, which had never become
popular in Britain. The first really
great improvement over the old Roman
stuba was brought about by Franklin
in 1745. The Franklin stove, barring
the fact that the castings were little
rough, would compare favorably with
the stove Of to-day. One of Franelin'a
efforts produced base burner, almost
perfect in every particular. During
the first twenty years of the first cent
ury stoves came into general use for
the heating of town halls and other pub.
lio buildings, but were not used in pri.
vate houses to any great extent until
about 1s3o.-St. Louis Republic.
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1890-06-04
Gladstone's 81essae. to Young Men.


Be sure that every one Of you has his
place and vocation on this earth, and
that it rests with himself to find it. Do
not believe those who too lightly say
nothing succeeds like success. Effort
honest, manful, humble effort-succeeds
by its reflected action, especially in
youth, better than success, which, in
deed, too easily and too eagerly gained,
not seldom serves, like winning the
first throw of the dice, to blind and
stupefy. Get knowledge, all you con.
Be thorough in all you do, and remem-
Der that though ignorance often may be
innocent, pretension is always despicac
BILE. But you, like men, be strong, and
exercise your strength. Work EDWARDS
and work upwards; and may the bless
Ing Of the Most High soothe your cares,
clear your vision and crown your labors
with reward. - United Presbyterian.
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1890-06-04
Proof Positive.

A-Come, now, you must own that you
have gone partly mad on the score Of
Rylnnastics? r. a.
B-Mad7 Why, gymnastics mean
strength, health, long life.
A-That may be, but the fact is, our
fore fathers knew nothing Of gym
nassics, and
land they are dead, every man Of
thesal-Taglichs Bundschsu. Z