The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1890-08-01
TIE FAT BOY HELD HIM BACK.

dwarf Bill and Tom were thoroughly
disguised, which was augmented at be-
ing braced by the Guyascutis for "a
ochaw Nv terbacker."
They proceeded to the next room,
called the "Theatorium" by the proprie-
tor. A young man with a dissipated
face and curbed back was viciously
pounding a piano, while one of the
''star" actresses, gaudily dressed Ito
surprisingly limited eXtent), was exc
cutting most difficult dance, the grand
secret of which seemed to be to come
down very heavy on both feet and turn
around swiftly.
The dancer had scarcely ceased when
a man upon whose face the shades of an
everlasting and horrible curse seemed
to have settled, touched Bill on the
shoulder. He was small man with a
square face, badly marked by smallpox.
He had an eccentric way of looking at
man, which at once convinced the man
looked at that kind had Providence de-
serted him and was not on his side that
morning.
Have you seen Edisons latest inven-
tion?" he asked, in husky voice, at
the same time lavishly bestowlng cast
iron look on the two brothers that
would throw an ordinary tiger into fit.
Il don't think we have" answered
Bill, timidly.
We'll, you don't want to miss it.
Come along and I'll show it to you"
He led them into small room, where
upon a table was displayed acontrivance
which he called "Edison's Blood Test
err" 1t was a simple affair, consisting
of two hollow glass balls, connected
by short piece of rubber tubing. One
of the balls was filled with bright red
fluid, resembling blood. The museum
man explained that by taking the two
glass balls in the hands the fluid would
run from one to the other, the force in
dicating the condition of the blood. If
it ran swiftly the blood was in good con-
dition, whereas, If it got a messenger
boy gait on, the man didn't have more
than three weeks to live.
A small card, prominently displayed,
bore the following tale:
THIS IS EDISON'S BLOOD TESTER
TRY 1T. NO CHARGE.
Three men, with faces suggestive of
crime, Immediately began testing their
blood, and seemed highly pleased at
finding it in as good condition as the
tester indicated. Bill and Tom were
urged to try it, and as it did not cost
any thing, they also found out the ex.
act condition of affairs in the interior.
just as they were leaving, the dime
museum man said:
"Now, gentlemen, the charge for OBJ
tanning this valuable information is
only fifty cents each"
The three men promptly paid fifty
cents each, one Of them remarking that
it was we'll worth that amount to find
out the condition Of his blood as he had
had grave doubts about its exact shape,
and that now he could rest easy.
II should say it was cheap" remarked
another. "Why, paid DR.. Loomis four
dollars about three years ago for the
same thing"
1t is needless to say that the three
men were in with the swindle.
''Well, don't pay bloody cent, said
Bill, very emphatically.
Nor l." said Tom. "You're set of
blood-suckers!"
what" exclaimed the dime museum
man, with virtuous Indignation, "have
you got the cheek to come in here, test
your d:rned blood and then refuse to
pay for it when there's card right be-
fore your eyes saying what it vii! cost?
No. sirl III not stand it!'