The Columbus journal., 1890-03-05
LIGHT MOODS.

LIGHT MOODS.
"A COUNTER irritant-A saucy shol
girl.
The key to the race problem-th:
darkey.
A FINE thing in art-the point of
pencil.
The police and tramps fraternize he
cause both arc on the beat.
The laundryman has to receive
good many cuffs in this world.
PERHAPS there is nothing SO touchins
about = small child a its hands, after i
has been making mud-pies.
Il WILL toss eoppers with you," re
marked one steer to another IS they
made for . couple of policemen.
A MINT "stick"-The employee ~hc
has retained his position under the diff
ferent administrations. A few lie
stick"
SHE-I think cigarette smoking j.
something vile. What do you smoke
mostly in Chicago? He (of the Lake
City-Hams.
FIRST tramp-Why is it that the
way of the trangressor is hard? Sec.
ond tramp-'Cause the cussed old path
is so often travelled. I suppose.
JOHNNY, put on your socks" said
the fond mother. And Johnny, look.
ing ruefully at the rent his envious toes
had made, responded: Ill see 'em
darned first"
FAIR young creature latter some reel.
tations)-Do you think I would do for
q Juliet? Manager anxious not tc
hurt feelings)-Um-er- we'll, you'd
look very pretty in the tomb"
A MATTER of expenses.-Miss Fussan.
feather There's my friend. Mrs. Hi.
flier. She move in the best society.
Mrs. Yeast-Yes, 1 suppose she finds it
cheaper to than to pay rent.
PoNsoNBY-I understand that Dig.
by's wife is deaf and dumb. Snaggs-
That so? I wonder if she I'VE
with her fingers? Ponsonby-Guess
so. Digby is about the baldest man ]
ever saw.
Mrs. SLATTERLY Ito her servant)-
Come right in here, Mary, and eat You,
supper with the family. Mary-No.
thank'ee, mum;I only zane here tc
earn my wages-not to he looked
down on.
ANOTHER VIRGINIA INCIDENT.
A couple OF men and a dog
Went out to kill bear in a bog.
1t turned them both gray
When invited to pay
For shooting a farmers fat hOS. q
GREAT statesman Ito married daugh
terj-My dear, your husband will
amount to anything if You don't
spur him On. Why don't you persuade
him to 60 into politics.? Daughter
But, pa, he has tried, and he cant
stand it. The whisky makes him sick.
MASTER Charlie, you are to go home
at once. If Won stay out a moment
longer You will be punished" WAS
it NON or pop who said / should be
punished?' "Your mamma" Ill be
home in an hour or so. A fellow can
lake care Of himself, 1 guess, when
he's TO-"
"Do YOU know there's something
about that little fellow over there
which is particularly attractive. The
rest of the boys are perfect young saw
ages, and 1 feel as though I'd like tc
smother the whole lot. But that little
chap isn't like the rest" "No; he's d
deaf mute"
MIsTREss-Bridget, I wish you
would find my ink-stand for me.
Bridget (parlor maid)-Please. mum,
livery tonne Oh fills that ink-stand o.
gifts me hands that black they don't git
clane for a wake. But you surely dc
not expect me to do it?' mo, mum
but Oh wuz thinkin' yez moight Ak tn
colored cook"
SMALL SONIA! ma! come quick.
I've got my fingers jammed." Mother
seeing red stains on his hand)-Oh,
my. come right here and let me wrap it
up, dear! How did you do it? Small
son-I vas reaching for my fish'line Oh
the top shelf in the cupboard, where
the jam pots are, and my fingers