Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1890-05-01
Omit this gentleman quietly"

rest Is important to me tonight. However.
let him come in, if he can't live without
doing So
And so | arose. drew back the bolt, and
retired to bed again.
A heavy step crossed the threshold,
another followed, and the door was bolted
and the lamp lit. Sitting up in bed | saw
two large, heavy-built men, one standing
with his back against the door and one at
the foot of my bed.
| was travelling with a large sum of
money about me- which would be needed
for our continental journey; and it oc-
Cured to me that this had become known.
These men were robbers. My precious bag
containing papers of value, cash, the we'd
ding ring and a set of pearls which | had
bought for Emma, as we'll as our passage
tickets, were near at hand Ny pistol was
under my pillow.
SEEING my pistol, prepared to defend
both my money and my life. In twink
ing | was disarmed. One of the men took
the pistol from me, the other seized nv
wrists, slipped pair of handouts upon
them, and then stood over me with a re-
volver in his hand.
'HelpI' | shouted. Murder! Muir
der! I'm being robbed and murdered
Help. Help" On this the landlord add
ed himself to the group, whisking in at
the door as Punch whisked up to the edge
of his box in his celebrated show.
my dear sir, he pleaded, 1T will not
mend matters to destroy the credit of my
house."
is it possible" | Indignantly cried,
"that you are in league with burg lars?''
"Burglars." said the man with the re-
volver. we are here to arrest you. We are
detectives. You know that as we'll as |
do. We've Swallowed you all the week.
Detectives said |. I'm that case
you have made one of your usual ludi-
crous mistakes, and Swallowed the wrong
map.
81 fancy you made mistake when you
wrote Cheops P. Mottle in the visitors
book in the office, he sneeringly rejoined.
ph nbo 5nhf s ss IT. en-? h sal fepisd 1--WE
were quite off the scent when one of the
boarders here, Mr. Chattem, who knew our
business, told us that he had seen your
name on the register
ooh, Chattem did, did he? Old busy
body! And what is my crime?'
Forgery is what we want you for. -
Forgery! Well, | confess | wrote
another mans name, but it was only
little joke of mine
You'll find it an expensive JOKE" said
the detective
"I'll tell you why did it, l answered.
Nov, you are not bound to criminate
yourself, Mr.. Mottle," said the other
my name is Lamb I answered.
''Phineas Lamb
Too late for that dodge. You have
just confessed the forgery. Come we
want you. You might as we'll go by the
milk train and escape publicity. Get up
and dress"
81 don't understand" said l. "You
want to arrest me for Writing wrong
name in the hotel register. | meant no
harm. I'll tell you all about it.
I'VE want you for writing Mr.. Isaac
Moneypenny's name at the bottom of
several checks as you we'll know"
Il never did that. | never saw one of
Isaac Moneypenny' checks"
That is curious, as you have been his
cashier for several years, said the de-
tective.
Il? [? I'm nobody's cashier! Oh,
see! | begin to understand! Cheops
2. Mottle is forger of whom you are in
pursuit."
Exactly" said the detective.
And you have mistaken me for him. "
said |. sit was an idiotic thing to regis
ter under an assumed name But assure
you am Phineas Lamb. | am going to
be married. | am in my fathers business
in Liverpool. | am not the person you
want
eve do not wish to use force said the
elder man. But don't talk that way to
old detectives. You must come along"
Here was dilemma. OF course, |
should prove my identity in the end.
had only to meet Mr.. Moneypenny face to
face.
But a delay must occur, my marriage
must be postponed, my Emma alarmed.
Great heavens. what was | to do? Ha.
Ha! A thought flashed into my brain.
Landlord, ~ said l. ''call Mr.. Chattem;
he knows me.
Probably confederate, " said the de-
tectlve.
mo" said the landlord "Mr. Chat
tenn comes here every sumnler; he knows
every one.
Its only an excuse for delay, or some
thing said the head detective. Don t
rouse Mr.. Chattem for nothing"
But the waiter-who from that moment
seemed to be a man of intellect beyond
that of any waiter | ever saw-and who,
forgot to say, had recently emerged from
the gloom of the hallway, remarked: ''Mr
Chattem is awake, sir. He's asking ques-
tions of the hall boy, sir. He's always
around, sir, if anything's going on. ~
AL 10 +l,ox, - il
the landlord.
had never believed that should be glad
first words were:
Dear me! What You are in trou-
BILE! A fine young fellow like you. Tell
me all about it!
did told him everything; that is,
| said that had desired to travel incog-
nito, and picking up the card in the road,
used the name upon it. To his question
why wished to be incognito | only re-
piled:
1.-The society papers. You know we
don t want the wedding noticed until it is
over
And Chattem was delighted. He had
the first news, which was always precious
W Hill, d1u lIle ueteCLlFeS let NE go DIS re-
luctantly as a bull-pup disengages his
teeth from the calf of tramp's leg.
| took the o'clock train and Chattem
saw me off.
| suppose no wedding was so we'll adver-
tised as ours was Chattem must have ir-
terviewed fifty reporters, for all the papers
published accounts of my adventures next
morning, and every one who knew me Or
my bride turned out to see us off More
over, the first newspaper | looked at in
Paris had a paragraph headed: "Odd