St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-01-12
JUST AS YOU LIKE II.
Remarks Which May Suit
You, But Anger Some
One Else.
Paragraphs About One Thing
And Another And Not Much
in Particular.
Personal And Impersonal
Sayings Which Mean
No Harm.
Current Comments ON Hap
penings in the Four
City.

or its first cousin, are laying low the
flower of the Minneapolis police force
and fire department., not to speak of the
countless hundreds or thousands of
private individuals who have bank
rupted themselves buying handker-
chiefs, and have nearly sneezed their
teeth out, while the doctors, those grim
Nestors i'll everything pertaining to
disease, continue to disagree as to
whether ia grippe' is with us. One
learned deciple of Esculapi9s will
gravely assert that the good people of
the Northwest have the only true and
genuine ia GRIPPE" none genuine
without the signature of Car AleXan-
der ! IL in blue ink on the bottle; before
he has fully recovered his wind
after such an eXertiOn, another just
as learned practitioner of this
most learned profession lends the
weight of his reputation to the assertion
that there is not case of the real
simOn-pure ''la grippe" lii the North
west. Meanwhile the vulgar public
suffers from innumerable chills, head
aches, sneeZes, coughs, ETC., until he
wishes he were dead. There would be
some little satisfaction for patient in
knowing whether he is experiencing
the self-Same complaint which land low
the proud autOcrat of the RuSSias, or
whether he is suffering from plebeian
cold. Verify, the erudition of these
physicians is wonderful.
The mules and the bobtails have
gone. alt is good thing" is the unani-
NOUS expression of opinion among all
who were compelled to patroniZe them.
But since they are gone, let all memory
nj yarlNn n
mule is not such bad thing in his
place, which, by the way, is roaming
wild and free on the boundleSs
plains. if they would only do it.
Neither is bObtailed car such an i'm
position of his satanic majesty. But
when the two were together they made
q combination which would have made
Solomon, had he ever seen them. re-
tract that base and grOundleSs libel
which he circulated when he said,
'There is nothing new under the sun"
Nevertheless, there are, without doubt,
many MinneapOlitans who will miss
the bObtails, likewise the mules. They
f0stered a spirit of contemplation
i'm those who were forced tomake use of
them. Riding on boDtailed car, be-
hind pair of diminutive mules, natur-
ally leads one to think how much bet
ter off he would be were he allowed TO
ride elSewheTe-On the old fashioned
farm stonebOat, for instance. And the
habit of thinking thoughts is good
one to foster in Minneapolis. But now,
that the bobtails and mules are gone,
the public can only say ''RequieScat in
pace"
Tom Lowry is a most unfortunate
man. Just as soon as he starts out TO
do something which he thinks will
please the people some dyspeptic indi-
Vididual is sure to arise and denOuncG
Lowry in all the terms to he found in
the category. He has not been quite so
roundly abused this time as he
has on certain former occa-
siOns, but his scheme for putting
in electric lines all over the city has
already aroused some opposition. The
editor of an evening paper walks all
over the suave milliOnaire's latest
scheme with all the force that can be
conveyed through a half column of
double loaded minion. But the peo-
pie are pretty well used to
the vagaries of the splenetic edi-
tor, ana are wont to attribute
his vigorous outpourings to disordered
state of the liver. While Lowry is, no
doubt, not looking for the worst of it.
his plan should not be unhesitatingly
condemned without hearing. The
council is right in going slow in the
matter. but were that august body to al
low the substitution of electricity
for all other forms OF motive
power on street railways, it would not
be such dire calamity. The trolley
wires form no network On the
other hand, the electric road would be
certainly cleaner and more conducive
TO the health of the community than
would cable line. A cable line trench
forms an extensive ceSSpOOl for waste
matter of many kinds and conditions.
There are arguments for each system.
But let the public think the matter
over.
When the Evening journal secures
an exclusive story like the Lowry pro-
position to change from the cable to
electricity, the evening luminary of Mr..
Blethen'S constellation howls 'faker
WIel the Star gets hold of an elope-
menJ case which the Evening Journal
misses, the editors and reporters do the
pumphandle act. expand their chests
and majestically yell ''scoop!" "a rose
by any other name may not smell as
sweet. ETC."
Here's our nine," says the Tribune
Star. That paper may be unwilling to
own the nine next fall. Time alone can
tell.
The official court reporter wants
typ writer who cannot understand the
English la guage to Translate the evil
dence in the Moore case.
IL Tom Lowry were to buy the earth
and present it to Minneapolis. there
would still he people who would sus-
pect that Tom did it TO secure mort
gage on the moon.
"Helpi Help! For Gods sakel We're
killedp First line of an evening paper
a Il ~
shrieked" Davis return to Minneapolis?
There is not a gambling house in
Minneapolis" said Babb. is our mayor
posing as a rival of Ananias OR is he
plugging for bid for removal to Chi
cago?
The Political Reform club is again in
the arena and searching for ''redd bud-
all" OF course all reforms are built up
by roasting the opposition.
Local dudes are wishing for warm
weather next week. Waiting around
the stage door Is very chilly work when
the thermometer 40 below.
Why are reporters excluded from di-
Yorce cases? If it is to prevent the pub
lie from learning, through the news
papers. what goes on behind the court
room doors, it fails utterly. as is evil
denced by the completeness of the re-
ports published every day by three of
the morning papers. And there is moth
ing in these reports which is in the least
Objectionable. 1t may be that the re-
porters are barred as protection to
their morals, but that is wholly unnec-
essary. Not that newsgathers are more
immoral than other people, for they are
not; but they become accustomed to
wading through a good deal of dirt
without its having any appreciate eff
feet upon them. Attorney Iaing, who
is handling the defense in the Moore
case. is one of few persons willing to
admit that reporters are energetic. But,
during the past week, the Minneapolis
hustlers have fully justified Laing's
compliment in getting the news despite
the difficulties thrown in their way by
the attorneys of the other side. And as
piece of gratituous information to
those gentlemen, let it be stated that
the reporters will continue to get the
pews despite the stormy vaporings OF