Idaho County free press. [volume] (Grangeville, Idaho Territory) 1886-current, 1890-06-20
A Book kn-ert.s Revenge.


One year ago, while | was canvass.
ing in Pleasant Prairie, came to a
large, fine farm house. walked up
and gave the door bell a vigorous
pull. The door was opened by a
young girl as fresh and pretty to
look at as n new blown rose.
bowed with the easy gracefulness of
an accomplished book agent, an art
only attained by long and constant
practice, and greeted her with my
most bewitching smile. She kindly
invited me into the parlor, while her
two eyes beamed upon inc like rays
of light shining through the windows
of heaven.
SIZE seated herself upon the sofa
and |, thinking "fnint heart never
Won fair lady," pulled out my pro-
spectus and took seat by her side.
For one short happy hour l talked
with that fair young maiden, when,
Just as we were beginning to get
somewhat loving and confidential,
the door opened ana a siX-footed,
rawboned. big-iooted young farmer
entered. He stared at us in blank
amazement for moment and then
CALCULATED:
"Gal. what in thunder are YOU do
Scott! It's book agent" he ended
abruptly, catching sight OF my pros
pectus.
Sir" I said rising and politely
bowling, 81 have the honor OF intro
ducing to you work.
"And !, d" he broke in, starting for
me, "have the pleasure of kicking
you out of my house. You little
red-headed"-
did not wait to hear more, but
catching sight of the size OF his boots,
grabbed my hat and started Just
as | reached the door his foot caught
me like n young cyclone, and, helping
me over six steps, landed me in the
midst of thorn rose bush.
When | crawled out of that bush
| was as mad "A piece'ot humanity to
the square inch as ever existed; hut
smothered the raging volcano with.
in. arose and bowed politely.
Madam" ] said, turning to the
girl, who was standing on the door
step laughing at me, 81 beg your
pardon for my hasty exit Necessity
compelled me to leave your sweet
presence trifle more suddenly than
either politeness or inclination in
clined me to; but in the near future
shall do myself the honor to call
again"
"As for you, sir" | said, address
ing the farmer, 1--WE two shall meet
again"
LET me catch your red head shin
ing in my yard again and | will kick
you all over the farm" was the
sweet good-by OF the horny handed
son OF toll.
That night | laid awake all night
meditating II dire and awful revenge.
and by morning had my plans all
made.
had q piece OF thick sheet iron
made so that it fitted snug and coy
like to that part of my anatomy
which got kicked, then secured six
ounces of dynamite and fastened it
carefully in an oil-lined silk bag
about six inches square. This |
sewed on the inside of the seat of my
second best pants and my machine
of vengeance was complete.
AS | walked up to the door saw
the farmer drop his fork and take a
bee line from the bayfield, to the
house. The same girl answered the
ring of the door bell. She seemed
very much surprised to see me again.
but with rosy blush on her cheeks
and winsome smile on her lips she
again invited me into the parlor.
She seated herself on the sofa and
invited me to do the same. | did
not dare to sit down, but bent for
ward, so as ogive the farmer good
opportunity tor square kick, seized
her hand and had just begunto muir
muir passionately: Il must look up
on your supremely beautiful face
ngain, though the sun should tall
and the heavens should fall"
When-well, the heavens did not
fall, but the farmers foot did square
md fair upon that dynamite bag.
Great Scott who would have thought
six ounces OF dynamite could create
such Il rumpusl
When | picked myself out of II
straw pile ten rods away. into which
| had been fortunately thrown and
therefore not much hurt, saw the
farmer crawling ont of II mud puddle
in the hog yard some fifteen rods
away and the girl hanging on the
wire fence in the back yard
81 bet that farmer don't kick an
other book agent" | muttered as |
cleared out.-Burlington Hawkeye.
n,