New-York tribune., 1890-08-31
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

lie had Just got back from his vacaton-campms
I'm the woods YOU know-and telling the boys in
the store how much fun he had had. A nouceatb
feature Of his narrative the frequent reference 70
a mysterious something called "spoopiu.' 1t was
spoopju here there and all over in his story They
had started out with liberal allowance OF spoopju,
but Billy had got away with good deal more than
his share and they had to send special order to
town for more spoopju. At last the curiosity OF tie
boys got the better of them and they asked: "Wel.
what In thunder is spoopju anyway?' He looked at
them in startled surprise "Are you not In It'll" ha
inquired hoarsely. "Not an inch,' was the reply.
Well then I'll tell You: Theoretically spooplu Il
mosquito ointment but in plain New-York English u
is Just whskey.' Thus have to record the coinage
of a new catch word, which may perhaps sweep
through the town like the measles and become gS
at the theatres till you get very tired
Doctor-so you're all run down Feel generally
debllitated can't sleep. have no appetite; fevo
aushes headaches and dizziness. Sc It's not
Patient lfrghtened,-what is it case for. thenl
Patlent-But I've Just been on my vacationl
DOctor-You needn't tell ME that. Two weekly
active employment IT. will rest you and make make yen s
laborious vacation.-(Boston Transcript
Fighting isn't always the bad thing that d w
Isaac Watts thought it To be- For instance de
erysipeas microbe and the dlhtheria microbe ~.
such deadly enemies that whenever they meet in nA
patient they fight until they kill each other,
after which, Of course. the patient gets WE'LL Which
reminds 10 ask Is there any nicrooe that will nght
with the cold.in-the. head mcrobe
Rank Donation on-Dumpsey-Blobson, it is sa;a
that "a gift blinds the eye
DobsOn-Yes, and believe II. since smo ked that
cigar you gave me last evening-(Burlington Free
Press.
Names are sometimes changed In queer ways.
few years ago a Bohemian came into Western town
and proceeded 70 work at anything he could find 10
do Shortly after his arrival the local per, partly
out Of fun ard partly out OF desire 10 help him.
printed this paragraph about HIM: a foreign gen.
ueman with an unpronounceable name recently stucs
this town. lie is proving TO be such good citizen
I'm every respect that we are disposed 10 relieve him
OF his incubus of a name and therefore salute hin
as John smith,. When the bohemian heard OF the
paragraph he was much pleased and immediatey
adopted the new name. and Mr. John Smith Is nov
one OF the leading citizens Of the town.
An Advantageous Posilicn.-Mr Knight-From whes
would you like 10 view the parade
Mrs. Knight-From given point.
Mr. knight-Wheres that ILL.,. .s. al
Mrs. Knight don't know; but notice thst al
parades are so long In passing that place-Sfnek'
letter with the following address has Just reached
the postofice at Cottage City;
Mr. Postmaster, please let this letter pass
To that beautiful place, Cottage City. Mas.
In the county Of Dukes said city lies
wonderful place for one Of its size.
Then send this along 10 Winlred ",
Near Lovers Roc,;." the shore by the seA
DO hear You say my address won't dol
Then pnt this in lock box 322.
Rest and Recreaton.-P -Porter-You travel regularly
now, see. sab.
Mr.. Gotham on the New-York and Philadelphia eI'
press)-les the doctor said needed rest and ecre@
tion. 60 ,pend one day In Philadelphia and the neN
in Ncw-lork.-(Puck.
In the town OF Mountain Dew, n. NJ. the two lead
ing saloons are ostens.bE by Whispering BIZ
and "smtterng Jim" These names are thus ex'
planned by an old timer: Wen Mounting Doc wer
fust stated fellcr could ony whisper like ken
hyar an opn'd er serloon. lie put up er sign sayr
that Whisperin Bill had KEN ter town. In lesSn q
week. ev'ry man in town war tradin' al Whspenp
Bius, outer sympathy like. Jim Lacey, 'crost IN
street didn' hcv alin', he made his place
ter his boy jim. who suffered like all out doors.
Thet's how it started. stranger, and ef it want fer
tn bigheartedness OF tn community tn names wouldnt
last er mint. Jm's boy died. an Jim moved er way,
an Whispern' Bill gol shot by man what didn get
tn standof he wanted. But ef stutterin Jim tux his
sign down all tn bzness'd so ter Whisperip Bls u
symp'thy, like
Didn't -Mother-wcll, did you get that situa-
ton Office boy
Little Son-NOpo.
"What the mattcrl' =.
" Don't know. Tie gent is lawyer and no
asked me If / good whistler, and ] told hiI
was me best whistler Oh our see. sar aa nc nrofs s,
sonal.r-(Good News.
How Characteristic Of Ruskln are his views Of the
bicycle which have Just been unearthed Il not only
object, but quite prepared to spend all my oeS'
bad Language In reprobation of bi. tri-. and A. D.
g.. or 7-cyccs. and every other contrvanee ana IN
vcntion for supersedng human feeV on Gods grouh@
To walk. run, to leap and to dance are the vlru0
of the human body; and neither to stride on siss,
| nnufa An
In the training of the human mind with the body VIII
ever supersede the appointed Gods way OF so"
walking and hard working OF course, on the sa''e
principle We shouldn't wear any clothes OF GOV
cooked food perhaps Ruskin didn't think OF tha''
In Western town, the other day, two funeta pros
cesslons met IN narrow street. and the aus1r Z.
each horse refused TO give way, resulting III oa
adc which lasted for hours. Meanwhile ule nrs sv