Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-11-20
AHnn,nrnns Cnlleotlnr.

A woman entered a grocery store on
Michigan avenue one day last week in
something Of a hurry and said to the
proprietor; 81 want glass fruit-iar
holding O quart, and you may put half a
pound OF gunpowder into it, " "Ies'm.
New way to DO up late peaches ?" mo,
sir. It's a way TO doUpa dog. " allow?
MY boy Willie has got a dog under our
barn and he won't come ont. Willie is
going TO blow him up. "Grest Scott.
ma'am, but il you explode this
powder under the barn you'll set the
building on fire - "Would it really ?"
"Of course it would Willie will be
terribly disappointed. ".But you'll
save tie barn "Well," she said as she
picked up her money, I'm have to
change my plans. Illbuy him an auger
and lot him bore holes in the floor and
pour hot water down on the dog. -
Detroit Free Press.
The friends of many Of Warwick's
most highly respected citizens were in
expressibly shocked when. in this weeks
Warwick DsiDdtch, they saw their names
appended to a call for public meeting
70 be held in that village for the pur-
pose of organizing burglar and
horse thief association" Ii must be,
they thought, that it was intended 70
organize an association for the detec-
ton, arrest, and conviction Of burglars
and horse-thieyes, but there was not
word about arrest or detection IN the
cal, -Middiet0wn Ar9iY.
"Ah," said the church roformer sad
ly, "I never see a church fair like this
without thinking Of the money changers
in the temple" q don't see the re-
semblance, replied the young man with
equal sadness. There's no money
changing here whatever you give 'em
they keep."-ISras Sytjags.
First Merchant ] read that q compa-
nv has been organized to manufacture
clothing from paper. Second ditto
From the paper I have accepted from
YOU they would be able TO make clothing
to supply the community for ayear.-
Mems Ou!fttcr.
Willie who has eaten bis apple) Ma
bel, let's play Adam and Eve. You be
Eve and I'll be Adam. Mabel All
right Well Willie Now you tempt
me to eat your apple, and Iii succumb.-
The BostOH3aa.
When the average man says frankly,
81 can't afford it, you viii usually find
on investigation that it IS something MS
wife wants and not something that he
wants himself. -SomerUii!c JoD1iaL
Gilbert and Sullivan have become re-
conciled. and if they will only write
their quarrel into comic opera II Is sure
to make bit. -Phiiadelphld FresS.
The days are "short' now because
there is not as much time IN then as
there was, and time is noney.-Delhi
Express.
Tommy: Paw, what is pig lead? Mr.
Figg There is no pig led. ne has 10
be olled.-Indianapolis Journal
II takes very little TO make woman
happy. 1t takes much less to make her
miserable, -Atch,soR Gl0oe.
The "s" on the end Of politics DOESN'T
prevent il from being very sinSA'Ai
institution. - Washington foS'
Isn't it strange that the better man
gets on In this world the better 10 Id 'u =
| YoHhers statesman.
The edition dc hTe OF the LANES s
giving pie will be given lln'p'A'' ''s
ting. -Phiiadskpisia Recofu'
"Has your wife gone shopping ?"
"Tm afraid not. I'm AFRAID Shes gone
buying. "-HRper's Ba'ar'
We often hear of the patriots OF .76.
but old Thurman IS q p"'ii0' " -
Philadelphia Times.
,;.oriss of cold use DR.. Bnll's
Cough Syrup. The pe0p's f'"suy'
IS cents. -
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