Chariton courier. (Keytesville, Chariton County, Mo.) 1878-current, 1890-02-13
cd if diseases would carry a red


all night, They wake the patient
every half hour, take his tempera
ture, feel his pulse, look at bis
tongue and then dope him with some
useless stuff. This is what the laity
call good nursing. With them nurs.
ing has no reference to hygiene or
feeding. 1t is meddling and drug
glng, which are the frauds fort.
With some, style is the hope OF
success. A genuine physician has
no desire and little time to put on
airs.
A common practice of the scoun-
dreIs IN the profession is informing
the patient that they ''got there"
just in time TO prevent a funeral.
Zone hour more and all would have
been over with them" When death
results, getting there too late is the
quack's subterfuge.
The doctor who such thoughts inspire,
Is always either foo. or liar.
The number of lives doctors have
saved, even when they got there on
time, are by no means countless.
Should nature once set up her claim,
'Twould quite obscure the doctors fame.
Boosting of an extensive and la
borious practice is a pretty common
custom of the liars in the profess
sion. These fellows can always be
seen riding over the country hunting
imaginary patients. With all their
boasting they are always execution
proof. Their promises to pay al
ways go to protest" A note on a
jay bird would sell for more money.
Another despicable practice is con-
sulting with quacks and irregulars.
Some excuse themselves that they
do this in the interest of humanity,
which is lie. The fee is the mo-
tive to the contemplate act.
The greed of gain, the love of Doodle,
Is the incentive of the noodle.
Such fee is the price of honor-the
value set on self-respect-the reward
of disgrace.
Mountebanks have an ear mark
whereby they may be recognized ev-
erywhere. This is keeping alocf
from medical societies. 1t is hard
to say which is the greatest fool, the
doctor who avoids medical societies
or the man who employs such an one.
There are but two reasons for
avoiding medical societies: One is
ignorance, the other rascalIty. The
latter is usually gassy-deals IN Sc
cret remedies and knows things that
no other man does. The fool, on
the contrary, seeks to conceal his
ignorance by silence and gravity.
Silence with an assumed air of digni-
ty passes for wisdom with fools only.
The tradition, "a still tongue Indi-
Gates q wise head" is a lie. Look
ing wise and knowing nothing has
its counterpart, and is as character
IstIc in animals as in man.
OF all the things that feed on grass,
None look so sapient as the ass.
Among all species Of the fowl,
Pomposiiy Is with the owl.
The bull-frog with sag='s face,
Spends al his days in singing base.
Getting q per cent. on prescrip
tions is nefarious practice. Evi
IDENTIFY the doctor who does this love:
money and would likely prescribe :
pound when an ounce would do
This might please an ignorant lay
man whose faith In drugs is always
IN proportion to his ignorance o.
their effects. But the most common
the most contemplate of the mear
acts of medical frauds Is cutting oil
fees. Cheapness is always suggest
i've of worthlessness. In nothing j
it so obvious as in doctors. n
greater insult can be offered to
gentleman in the profession, thai
calling HIM "cheap doctor" Blu
for the penuricusness and cussednes
of some Of the laity, cheap doctor
would soon come to grief. or course
men of brains never deal in chea
goods or cheap whisky, much les
employ cheap doctors. The ma
who employs doctor for his cheaI
ness would feed his children on tr
china, and bury their dead bodies l
paper coffin.
!, IL Judas Iscarlot had been a dot
u tor he would have cut On fees an
rode ten miles for two dollars. Sti
. Judas had one redeemIng qualit
that the cutting doctors of to-da
are unpossessed of-remorse. Whe
Il he went home from the supper an
thought how cheap he had sold b
% Lord, he hung himself.
If cutting doctors had any con
= junction they would be found hans
~ ing all along the road side.
/ have known some doctors who
L thought excusable for their Gus
" edness. They got it by inheritanc'
= The only legacy left them by a d
~ prayed ancestry.
Conceived in sin, in crime begotten,
ie From head to foot, putrid and rotten.
= Their natural instinct they must folio
le Like filthy swine in mud they wallow.
> All gentlemen as such are born,
I, All meanness they innately seorn.
l. NIIl:l- A.. Io.I- l.. .,r,f