The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1890-04-03
WIT AND III NOR.

4 ring on the ,lngcr Is worth TWO III
the pawnShop. -B0ston Herald.
A Still Alarm Fly. the revenue of
ficers are coming!' Boston Hcraid.
Cold as it may be no man cares for ;
coat on his tongue.-hearRey Enter
prise.
It's a wise fly that knows bald
head in spite of wig.-Binghant0h
Republican.
The farmer who is not acquainted
with sunrise doesn't need big barns. -
DenCer Road.
The wind often turns an umbrella,
but borrower rarely returns it,
1eras Sytings.
Love may he blind. but he know:
when the parlor lamp is too high
BlnghamtOn Ledder.
The man who has no charity in his
heart gives no quarter to the hote
waiter.-BOstOH Post.
Many a youth who seeks for the tree
of knowledge gets only branch
Binghanat0n Republican.
A saloon is like Il harbor-most OF
the wrecks are to be found outside the
bar.-Ierre Haute Express.
Marriage is an affair IN which MANY
a man has lived to wish he had never
taken hand-Detr0H Free Press.
1t is better to lose Jest than friend
to miss an opportunity of saying a
good thing than to make an enemy
~ Y Ledger.
Spriggins says his wife is so short
that she has to stand on a chair to
reach the top of her head. Biagtana.
ton Republican.
Sunday-Sch Teacher - ''What
caused the death of Lots wife?1 Tom
my Jones-''Salt rheum, | guess" =
Laurence american.
The man who lies and sticks to il
sometimes handicaps the man who tells
the truth, but he never holds his head
so high Rome Sentinel.
Razzle-s'There's nothing like meet
never meet trouble; it always seems to
be going my way."-DetroH Journal.
More than thirty British noblemen
are at present living on charity. In
England, of course. In America they
would be visiting. Rtjiodelphia Times
In America every man has right to
his opinion, but nobody who has an
opinion seems to recognize that right
except as to himself Merchant TraU-
eicr.
Miss Churchgoer-''Did YOU attend
divine service to-day?' Mr.. Stayat-
home Yes performed one. Wrote
to my best girl. "-Bingbamton Repub-
Lc0n.
Mrs. Reeder-"I see by the papers
that there has been a rebellion in the
deaf and dumb asylum" Mr.. Reeder
Not rebellion, my dear; Il mutiny."
Puck.
Lady Doctor young and fairy
please turn YOUR head little -
Masculine Paticnt-"Ah! dear, YOU
have already turned it, Laurence
-fnerican.
Parish is very much in love with
that girl" "Why doesn't he marry
her?" He mas his misgivings as to
whether she is able to support him. y
n. Y SIN.
1t has been discovered that kisses
love kisses. we mean-are full of cleo
tricity. Now we know why old maids
have always called kissing shocking
Boston Courier.
Il am something of wit myself at
tines said stupid man to wag.
Just as bright man has an occa-
sional dull period" was the reply
Teas SDtings.
CumSo-'I see that a Denver de-
tective has mysteriouslv disappeared. -
Fangle = Hes probably found the
criminal he was looking for and the
shock killed him. '-Epoch.
Teacher Now, my children, we
will parse the sentence, John refused
the pie Tommy Jones, what is
John?' Tommy-''A darned fool. =
BinqhaBlt0R Ledeler.
Mr.. Figg If you were out in a
boat with your wife and sister and the
boat should upset, which one would
you save?" Mr.. Hogg Myself Il
Icrre Haute EGpresS.
He Perhaps you won't believe me.
but | never laugh at an inferior" She
-''Of course believe you. 1t would
be impossible for YOU to do such a
thing. "-BoSton Transcript.
Mrs. Merritt hear your husband
fell on the ice and broke his leg. That
was dreadfully unlucky." Mrs. Giles
u should say it was. He fell on
our own sidewalk. "--The Epoch.
Teacher Can YOU mention a species
of cold-blooded animal which multi
plies with astonishing rapidity?n Son
of JournaliSt-"Ycs the creditor.
That's what pa says. "-Icras SittingS.
Yes, Augustus, we believe it is better
to have loved and lost than never to
have loved ut all. 1t is better for the
jeweler. and the florist, and the mes
Seuger boy-and sometimes for the
lawyers.-Hasey's Weekly.
Mabel-''Did YOU hear that Bessie
Willis was married Yesterday to Tom
Guzzler?" Maud Really l thought
she would he the last person to marry
him." Mabel-'W Well. she was, wasn't
she?'-Harrard LampooR.
Smith-"You do wrong wasting Your
Sabbaths as you do. Your wife tells
me You are mapping it almost all day.
Why don't YOU 90 TIC church as | do?n
Jones Well. what's the difference,
should like To know?"- Boston Tran
script.
Congressman Cat home. among his
constituents)- "Gentlemeu and fellow
citizens: | want yon to tell me what.
in Your opinion, this country most
needs" The Crowd with astonishing
unanimity) - Shorter sessions of Con-
gress?"-N. I. Weekly.
Papa-"It's no use talking, Emma,
these Sunday evening meeting have
got to be shortened. My last gas bill
was enormous" Emma - Its not
my fault. 1t wouldn't be half as big if
mamma didn't come into the parlor so
often. boston Herald
Mr.. \. Peck -'Alexandre Dumas
says that anything useless is danger
Gus What do YOU think of that
dear?n Mrs. n. Peck-'.I think he
was an old fool who didn't know what
he was talking about. There * poth-