davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser., 1890-06-13
Beating the Nickel In the Slot.

Gimme nickers worth of buck
shot," said St. Paul gamin wearing
somewhat disordered raiment. His
head says the Pioneer Press, just top
ped the counter in bazar devoted to
sporting goods.
Il suppose he will load them into
rusty pistol and accidentally shoot
some one of his intimate friends" sug-
gested bystander.
.'Oh, nc" replied the proprietor Of
the gun store, ''he has no firearms. He
is going in to beat the nickel-in-the-
slot scheme, and l suppose am parti-
ceps criminis."
"How?"
why. he will put them ON the
street-car track; the car will convert
them into the exact size OF nickels and
pennies; and, of course, you can antic-
ipate the financial panic liable to ensue
in St. Paul shortly, with a gum-ma-
chine at almost every corner"
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser., 1890-06-13
Romance Of u MOlar.

If anyone is casting about for plot
for story. this is freely rendered: A
destitute young Englishman in San
Francisco. A beautiful and rich young
girl of the same place. One of her in
cisors is faulty. She will have none of
it. The dentist bids her bide his time.
1t arrives in the person of the young
Englishman. He agrees to part with y
front tooth for $50. On one side of a
screen is the hero; on the other the
heroine. The tooth is pulled and
swiftly transplanted. Then the hero
inc departs without having seen the
hero who, with the $50 in his pockets,
sets boldly out into the hills and makes
his fortune. In five years, somewhere
and somehow. they meet and mate.
Then. just when you please, the story
of the tooth crops out. 1t isn't over
nice, but it is related as fact."-Soci-
Of
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser., 1890-06-13
Nicholas Knew What to Saw,

Perhaps one of the grandest compli-
ments ever paid by one human being
to another was that rendered by Mich
olas, the Emperor of all the Russias, to
Mile. Rachel, the celebrated French
actress. When she was introduced to
him she knelt; but the Emperor raised
her. and himself falling on one knee.
said: Thus should the royalty of
rank pay homage to the royalty OF
genius"
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser., 1890-06-13
Experience of a Woman.

A kind-hearted woman at La Crosse
bought five cords of wood aud three
bucE-saws and gave all tramps chance
to earn Il meal. They stole the saws.
and boys stole the wood. and one day
a tramp entered the house of the k.-h.
W., scared her most to death, aud stole
her watch.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser., 1890-06-13
Berlin's Electric Wires.

Siemens, the electrician, says that no
death has ever been caused i'm Berlin
by contact with electric wires. The
city's immunity from danger is due to
underground conduits.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser., 1890-06-13
The Latest London Idea.

An American bar and winter gar.
den on the roof of the new premises Of
the Pelican club in Soho are the latest
London idea.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser., 1890-06-13

When a man wants to find fault he
will do so, even if he has to be up all
night looking for it. ~
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser., 1890-06-13

These times suit the scissors grinder.
He likes to find things dull.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1890-09-25
A BRILLIANT WEDDING.
RoETnE-DRAeGs

At the residence of the BRIDES par
enis. Mr.. and Mrs. John Draggs, on
Tuesday evening, September 9, 1890,
Miss Annie Z. Draggs was united in the
holy bonds of matrimony to MI. Henry
E. Rothe. both of Fennimore, Presiding
Elder Wheeler, of Platteville, officia.
ting.
Miss May Wilson played the wedding
march on the organ as the happy cou-
pie marched in beneath the marriage
bell within floral arch, followed by
little Edith Draggs and Bernis Beetham,
dressed to represent sun flowers, each
carrying boquet.
The bride being attired in a golden
brown silk dress, cut low in the neck,
filled in with white silk lace, and the
decorations OF the Lilies of the Valley
and Smilax presented very beautiful
and harmonizing effect, which only
added to the brides lovliness.
The groom was attired in a fine
worsted suit of Prince Albert Style. He
is young man of much promise and is
deserving of the young and accomplish
ed lady he has chosen for life part
ner..
The bride is one of Fennimore's most
talented and accomplished young ladies
and has hosts of friends wherever
known.
The ceremony being performed, con-
gratulations were then in order, after
which the large number of invited
guests present followed the bride and
groom to the dining room and partook
of sumptuous repast, which was highly
enjoyed by all.
The spacious Draggs residence was
artistically decorated with golden rod
and sun flowers, while the front yard
was brilliantly decorated with Chinese
lanterns.
All join in wishing Mr.. and Mrs.
Roethe long life, much joy and happi-
ness.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1890-09-25
HIS WAY OF ADVERTISING.

Il beg pardon for intruding upon
your time," said the polite. smiling man
with the small valise in his hand
"A peddler is a nuisance. know it as
well as any body. But there are various
kinds of peddlers. and all of us must
live. 1t isn't our fault that we are here
Those of us that earn our living honest
ly have to share the odium that belongs
TO the calling. I'm not complaining Of
this, gentlemen. It is part of the curse
that came in the original package to
Adam. If there is any one of you that
has spot of grease on his coat, vest or
pants-trouSers, he added, opening
his valise and taking ont a small cake
of soap and sponge, Il shall be happy
to remove it and without charging a
cent and without asking anybody to
buy my soap. It's my way of advertis-
ing My dear sir, allow me- There is
little spot on your vest"
He rubbed the spot with a piece OF
soap, deity applied the sponge, made
a few passes over the coat with piece
4 of cotton sheeting, and said:
There, sir, that spot is gone. You
will never see it again. And probably
I YOU will never see me again, either, as
l travel but once through community
My goods will be found at the stores.
/ take ii for granted nobody wishes e
buy cake Of my soap. wish you
good morning, Gentlemen
After the polite, smiling visitor hac
gone away, the gentleman whose gar
ment had been operated upon had &c
easion 70 consult his watch.
1t wasn't there. 1t had disappeared
wi.h tie Sp0l. - Exchange.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1890-09-25
PERSONALS.

Capt. W. H. Beebe. OF PtattevilIe,
was caller Wednesday.
Mrs. Geo. Vandewall spent Sunday
visiting her parents at Platteville
Miss Emma Brookens, of Moth
Andover called in town Wednesday.
Hon. Henry Skeene of Madison, called
on Lancaster friends the past week.
E j. Cole epent few days the first
first of the week with relatives at Ora
tiot.
Jno. P. Vincent of Galena, transacted
business in Lancaster the first of the
week.
Mrs. Fred VanLeshout, of Baraboo, is
the guest Of her sister, Mrs. W. Me-
pherson.
DR.. J. H. Reed is taking vacation
and with his wife is enjoying a trip in
the West.
Mrs. Jas. Kelly, of Gratrlot. visited
at The residence of w. l.. McCord the
past week.
James Graham and Miss Name HUFF
till were united in marriage in this
city Sunday.
Mr.. and Mrs. Sam'l Barstow returned
Thursday after a three weeks visit in
western Iowa.
John Taylor and wife and Geo.
Westing and wife are looking over the
western country.
Jas. McBrien of Hazel Green, spent
few days the first of the week in this
city with friends.
A. S. FIagg, of Edgerton, called on his
parents and visited friends in this city
the first of the week.
viii Gil. of Cuba city, was in this
city few days the pass week calling on
friends and relations.
A. w. Bennett, of OdeboH, Iowa.
made flying business and pleasure
trip to this city Monday.
Thos Robinson and Will Mccain of
Benton, were in Lancaster a few days
the past week attending the fair.
Mrs. j. N. Waggoner of Galena, &C
companied by Mrs. C. Halle, visited
her daughter, Mrs. E. M. Lowry, the
past week.
Mr.. and Mrs. Matthew Thompson. of
Hazel Green, have been spending the
past week with their son, Sheriff Thomp-
son of this city. While here they at
tended the fair.
harry Brown, who is a student in the
Law Departments of the university at
Madison made flying trip to this city
Tuesday and staid over night, returning
TO his work Wednesday.
Chas. Murphy, an old r. R. boy &C
companied by his wife called on friends
in this city yesterday. Mr.. Murphy is
just recovering from severe attack of
Typhoid fever, which has left him minus
most of his accustomed flesh.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1890-09-25

The new lottery law, excluding from
the mails lottery business and news
papers containing THEN advertisements
is beginning to be felt and will prove q
strong leverage against the monopoly.
This business of the New Orleans post
Office has fallen off 40 per cent, and a
Washington Sunday paper was refused
transportation because it had a lottery
advertisement.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1890-09-25

DHt
inconsisrEneV or SELFsTsLEo REFoREEss.
A basic error in the Free Traders
attitude is his insistence that the
economic policy of this country should
be made to conform to rules prescribed
bv foreign statesmen and writers as
best for countries altogether differently
circumstance. Hence the majority o.
free trade arguments are repetitions
from writer's whose experience was
limited to nations of restricted resources
and necessarily dependent upon other
countries for the means of subsisting
their peoples.
The conception of continental ma
ton like the United States, with pop
ulation combining the ingenuity and in
telligence required in all lines OF manu-
features, and the necessary resources of
soil and climate for producing every
thing required by its people, aside from
few strictly topical products, had no
place in the visions of the writer's who
are now daily quoted as authority for
the universal free trade toward which
the teachings of self-styled reforTers
are directed.
Inspired by the Golden Club, it is but
natural that attorneys for tariff reform
should persistently cite the British policy
as a model for all other nations. This
Is To demand that nation which is
manufacturing more than it can utilize,
while dependent upon other countries
for products with which 20 feed and
clolhe It's people, shall stand as model
for the United States, with more food
products than its people can consume,
and as yet not manufacturing all their
clothing and household necessities.
The absurdity of the proposition be-
comes evident in the face of the fact
that the entire Kingdom of Great
Britain and Ireland, with population
of 36,0O0,000, has less area than the
two states of Iowa and Nebraska, and
probably not more than half the guam
tity of tiIable land. But still the propo-
sition is persistently repeated by both
British and American attorneys for
free trade.
There is, however, point at which
the American contingent omits por-
ton of TIE argument found potent on
the other side. Mr.. Gladstone and
other foreign advocates of reform in
our tariff policy are candid enough to
admit that the result Of following their
advice would be TO make the United
States producer of cheap breadstuffs
and other farm products and permit
England to become the woskshop of
the world. Free trade advocates this
side the Atlantic deem it prudent to
withhold this evidently correct forecast
until such time as voters have been pre-
vailed on to tear down the defences of
domestic manufactures, and their re-
Mobilization has been rendered exceed
inglv remote, if not altogether impos-
sible.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1890-09-25
PATENTS GRANTED

To citizens of Wisconsin during the
past week and reported especially for
this paper by C. A. Snow & Co. Patent
AttSs and Agents for procuring patents,
Opp. Patent Office, Washington, ID. C.
G.. f. Cleveland, Fond du Lac, Au-
tomato lumber trimmer. s. C. Cobb,
GAINESVILLE, Cultivator, G. l.. Halseatd,
La Cross. Device for securing hose
bands. A. Hirshheimer. La Cross,
Golfer. g. A. Mace. Mayville. Lime
kiln. +. j. Palica. Racine, Trunk. w.
G. Quigley, Lake Geneva, Lace or en-
broidery holder. E. A. Rider, Racine,
Hydrocarbon burner. G.. H. Squier,
Trempealeau. Wise. G. w. Stone Jr.
Waukesha, Railway. I. S. Wilkin,
Milwa Ikee, Saw-mill.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1890-09-25

When a girl elopes with her coachman
some other man is saved from getting a
mighty poor wife.
A bachelors logic: Marriage is lot
terry; lotteries are illegal; therefore
simply obey the law by keeping single.
Perfect servants would be the worst
of all for certain masters, whose happi.
ness consists in finding fault with them,
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1890-09-25
LANCASTER MARKET.

Nothing of note has occurred to make
any marked change in the prices of
products and stock. The prospect Of
live stock is encouraging as it is also in
most farm products. There have been
three loads of cattle and three of hogs
shipped. Three car loads of oats wei e
shipped by T. F. Orion during the
week.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1890-09-25
NOTICE.
Headquarters Tom Cox Post. No. 1872
q a r

Headquarters Tom Cox Post, No. ~,
G. A. r.
Lancaster, Sept. IS, 1890.
Special order, No. /.
There will be a special meeting Of
the Post, Saturday evening. Sept. q,
when matters of special interest and
importance will be considered.
All members are requested to be
present and most cordial invitation is
extended to all old comrades; also the
Sons OF Veterans to meet with us on the
occasion.
GEO. E. BUDD, JACOB DREW,
Adit. Com DIR.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1890-09-25
COUNTY COURT.

Est. Jacob Chilson. decd. Petition
for settlement, account allowed and
final order made.
Est. Jacob Heinrich, dec III. Petit
ton to probate will; will proved, Jacob
Foehringer named executor without
bond.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1890-09-25
STAND BY 1T!
State Ticket

~ va bO \ ANEAGLs
For Governor
WM. ID. HOARD, If jefferson.
For Lieutenant Governor:
JOSEPH b. TREAT. Of Monroe.
For Secretary of State:
EDWIN d. COE. Of Walworth
For State Treasurer:
Alberto. GEILFUSS,
Of Milwaukee.
For Attorney General:
JAMES O'NEIL. Of Clark
For Supt. of Public instructions
l.. d. HARVEY, Of Winnebago.
For Railroad Commissioner:
SYVER f. BRIMl, Eau Claire.
For Insurance Commissioner:
DAVID sCHREENER, OF Grant.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1890-09-25

reared in an ignorance of the institution
and freedom of our country equal to
those in benighted China, where mis-
sionaries are constantly Deing sent?
America for Americans; but neither
man nor child is such who turns his
back or those Of his children on our
history. our laws, our literature and
our language.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1890-09-25

THE LACROSSE Daily Times has had
its say and departed Being political
sheet to boom Thomas for Congress,
when his nomination was secured its
mission was more than half filled. That
it did not continue through the cam
paign is due to the Republican and
Leader, who declined to support Thomas
if he continued the Daily 7I',aes. hence
it has ceased to exist.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1890-09-25
BASKET SocyARLE.

A basket sociable will be held at
MT. ZION CHURCH,
Tuesday evening, Sept. 80, 1890, be-
ginning at $50, p. m.
Proceeds for the benefit OF Rev. j. ID.
Blenkinsopp. Come one, come all.
Con-.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1890-09-25

WE pLACE at the head of our ticket
a cut of 1.-The Little School House,
that modest little structure that is play
ing such an important and unusual roll
in our political field this fall Stand by
il gentlemen. Let every child in this
long state have the benefit Of rude
mentary knowledge in the English Ian
guage that viii fit it to become an hon
ored citizen OF this grand country. The
ewes Of the whole United States are
centered upon Wisconsin. Will en-
liehtenment and the sovereignty oi the
state prevail, or shall our children be
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1890-09-25

The site of the Columbian World )
Fair has finally been decided as the
Lake Front, Jackson and Washington
parks, and has been accepted by the
national committee. Chicago was
bound to have some elegant buildings
erected on her Lake Front by the fair,
and has succeeded. What effect string
ing the show along the lake shore will
have can only be tested in 1928.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1890-09-25

THE New York Central strikers must
feel pretty cheap and that their ex-
perience is bought very dear. After
finding they could not win, that cor
poration acting rs common carriers
could not be bulldozeG. they declare
the strike off, expecting to be welcomed
back with open arms by the road. but
are met by an order commanding agents
of the railroad in no case to employ
any OF the strikers. AS winter is COM
ing on a good many families must suffer
and homes be broken up. but the men
can blame nobody buftheir own stupid
Ity in allowing themselves TO be made
tools of by INSCRIPTIONS leaders, who,
gone mad by little power, try to play
the despot They take care, however,
that the hunger that bites. and the want
that makes de spera.e does not reach
to their door,
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1890-09-25
Congressional Ticket.

For Member of Congress, 81 Dristriet
ROBERT NJ. La FOLLETT,
of Dane
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1890-09-25

Snaggs; Been fishing any this sea-
son?H Jaggs; NO the doctor said |
must stop drinking or il would kin me. !"
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1890-09-25

AT THE present rate the House of
Representatives will never adjourn. On
the return of Speaker Reed the demo-
Gratis adopted the tilibustering tactics of
being absent to prevent a quorum and
business is at standstill. 1t is nearly
time the people took hand in this bus
mess of law masking and amend the
constitution making congressional
session day without tangible business
done subject to pro rata reduction
from members salary. Nothing will
bring a man 10 terms quicker than
touching his pocket.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1890-09-25

There are
many white soaps.
each
represented to be
lust as good as the Ivory "
They are not,
but like
all counterfeits.
they lack
the peculiar
and remarkable
qualities of
the genuine.
Ask for
Ivory Soap
and
insist upon having it,
lis sold everywhere.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1890-09-25

our language.
Idaho news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1887-1891, 1890-11-08

Quite "A novel mode ofcntching fish
was invented by ayouthin Michigan.
He was bathing, when heperceived
in the water Il little way beyond him
a fish Of unusually large proportions
swimming along within IA very short
distance Of the bank and rapidly APP.
prOaching him. As he saw the mag
nifcent specimen OF the sturgeon
species the thought OF securing il
without the usual implements fash
ed across his mind, and he determin-
ed 10 make one effort to secure the
"monarch Of the hikes
A the fish approached the bank on
which the boy was standing the lat.
ter prepared to dive, and, before tine
sturgeon was quite opposite, the
youth gave "A leap, a plunge, and
Owed beneath the water. Ere tins
nstunished sturgeon could either es
rape or recover from the consternn'
ton caused hy the sudden disturb
nnce of tie waters he was a prisoner
in the arms Of the youth. who coulC
with difficulty retain his hold OF lii
slippery customer.
The struggles OF the now desperate
sturgeon were p~artinacious, an,
nearly crowned with victory. Though
they became almost entirely ineffeci
nal. aud were rendered completely 81
hy the aid Of n companion ofthe bo.
who ran 10 his assistance.
Their united efforts soon cnmple'
ed the victory over his sturgeonshiI
aud laid him painting on the hanl
n proof o the triumph OF muscle.
After resting awhile from the !,
tigue caused by the combat undo
water, they carried the sturgeo
home. where il was weighed, turnin
the scales ut Just seventy pounds.
Idaho news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1887-1891, 1890-11-08

this place, an ] axed him whut
It war an he lowed, he did,
that he had mndeit to cure some fine
tobacco in-'lowed lie could cure it
IN thar an not feel that some teller
war goin' TO steal it. 'Thar's the
bottle in thar says he. Go in an
he'p yo'set, ! come in an took up a
bottle that | seed layin' down, but
as u sorter seemed to be iastened to
something, | pulled it an then hearn
snthin drap. Lookin' roun' | seed
that n door had fell benin me. an
had me, but you bet I'll git him"
Not till after the show, Moss; fur
the love OF heavens not till after the
show"
"Whut show"
why, the one that's to he over at
Shady groye-rale show with lfosses
an sich."
"iou don't tell me"
"las. sub. nm n beautiful gal rides
one of the hosses."
wall" said Moss, after n mo
ments reflection. "et that TELLER vii
take lis all to the show we'll call j
squnr. hut YOU bet it is a might,
good thing he's got suthin to fnl
back on. Now git me out"
OPiE 7. READ.
Idaho news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1887-1891, 1890-11-08
A Victory Won TOO Late.

4 Detroit wholesale house sent an
agent into one Of the northern coun-
ties the other day to investigate and
report on the failure of a dry goods
man whose assets were below zero.
The bankrupt was perfectly willing
to explain how it all happened.
"You see," he said, II got married
about two years ago. Up to that
timethe postmaster and his wife had
been at the head of society here and
run the ranch. He had the only
swallow-tailed coat and she the only
silk dress in the town"
II see"
'sWe had to make a lead for the
head and / bought my vile a twelve
dollar bonnet and a diamond ring"
"'les."
"The postmaster responded by
buying his wife a broncho pony and
a pair OF diamond earrings"
''Yes."
"Then / subscribed 5000 to a new
church, gave two lawn parties and
bought a top carriage and a PAGER
yes"
He came up smiling with a new
brick house, a progressive euchre
party and gave $3.50 to the heathens
of Africa
81 see."
"Well, / had gone in to smash him
or lose a lung and SO ] pledged my
self for the preachers salary for a
year, lost $500 on a deal in whear.
kept two hired girls, bought three
Persian rugs. backed a barber shop,
took halfinterestin III home news
paper and presented every church in
town with a bell"
That must have laid him"
at did. He threw up his hands
and surrendered; but when you fel
lows in Detroit drew on me at three
days sight l was dished. I'm sorry
it happened, put you can't blame me
If that postmaster hadn't made
fool OF himself I'D have been able t.
pay one hundred and fifty cents OF
the dollar. detroit Free Press.
Idaho news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1887-1891, 1890-11-08
ooop-BY.

Kind ofehlly fselin' in the BLOWN
dte sadness stsalin1 through The
sF9-.ses o. the trees
w ,be sad September that 8 Slowly
.hst / remember EN- have come 10
,sy 'dood-DN
he wind is Sailin'i "uood-by
.ls trsss complain
Ian down 20 whisper With their
~ ~ leaves vet uith ram
70 ~ roses murmur, n me q
y III XIV I'D sorry, ! have come TO say
Gcol-by.
Il. ali have said il some time or other
@-uith eyes a . down, that
aa mat trsmbled In them, for the
~ nat rhaksI the Sigh
~ II ronk holt o. the heart, an
asls il beat aGood'by
a.,,hink uashardto say, but s'ahdln'
here al0Br-
~ pgasaht Fast h~h'n me- an u
nv dim uLknnsn
rerdsri la the dark. can't keep
~ *. i soman a. | bid you all
U00l.bJ
Ike done ; slth ynu maybe SONS
,blags sent arons
w tbst mas ile mdslr Ia the sNes'
fss 0t d sHnE
t.,ya. abrn sna think Of mr onil
ai.h Joe uuaii
master sald ~ % He hatl
go shat b. could.
,.s VOC d tuseIbrf, Ia The lime asYr
:. r - nFesidr 10 this pleas
IN lafE u ir-
,s-4t poet come bgtOre you al styi
f saaisia lac Il slsh
W. Alu't urEat biaa silre she dH!
sati Gaai 81
A. siaatus 81 Aslania toasutatioa