Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-04-16
WIT AND HUM0R.

WIT AND HUM0R.
The world moves and we move Will
it. The same may be said of cy
clone.-Yonkers Statesman.
Ready for Easter. "Did you dy'
these eggss' mo. l think the,
we're dead when they got here. "-Ex
Many a maiden lady's age is mark
ed down to a low figure that she ma,
be disposed of at a bargain.-Rom'
Sentinel.
Eddie Saltless wonders why all tn,
girls giggled so the other evening
when he was announced as a fresh ar
rival. FIX.
a mans enjoyment of melodram'
is intensified by the opportunity be
tween the acts of having mellow
dram or two.-Lowell Mail.
More trade coming. So YOU thinl
I'd like your tailor, eh! Why?
Oh, he's such trusty fellow.
Enough said I'll try him.-Ex.
A Georgia editor, in announcing
his marriage, says: I'VE have takei
this step for better or for worse bu
it is poor woman that can't suppor
one editor.-Ex.
His piece. She-"I don't hear any
thing of fathers dog. He held hi
peace tonight, didn't he ?"
He (bitterly)-"Yes ; his piece o
my S15 trousers. ."-Ex.
Appreciative. Amateur tenor
shall just sing one more song, and theI
| shall 60.
Sarcastic friend-Couldn't you X
frst.-London Punch.
Lake-What did l tell your Tn
hustle has gone, and now the corse
has got to 60.
Squeers-You mistake. The cor
set has got to stay.-Ex.
Realism. Harriet--Let us pla,
cleaning house, will you, Henry?
Henry-All right, you pound you
fingers with the tack hammer and II
upset the stovepipe and say dammit
Society.
Rev. Straightcut-"Roger, did yo,
have anything to do with that disrepu
table grab-bag business last evening"!
Roger Straightcut-"Yes, father;
must confess that / had hand in it.
-Ex.
Anomalous. "John had no equal,
sighed recent recruit to the legion
of widowhood. However" she add
ed, as the amount of his policy wa
paid over to her, "he has his equiva
lent. ."-Ex.
Widower (who has married int
the family twice already)-Clara
dear, will you be my wife?
Clara (wearily)-I suppose so, Wi
liam am tired of being a sister t
you.-Chicago Tribune.
What have you been doing sine
| saw you?' said congressman t
one of his constituents.
al have been editing paper"
"Get anybody to take it?"
Eyes, the sheriff" Washington
Post.
-----------------------
Judging by appearances. "Wel
I'm full again." said the cider barre
trying to stand OH its head.
81 thought So" said the little kee
when l saw you come rolling owe
here all bunged up. Oh, yes, you ar
tight."-Puck.
Visitor Gin court room)-.Wha
dastardly crime was committed by tn
prisoner who was just convicted?
Officer-He stole ride OH a rail
road.
And the man who got free 7
He stole the railroad.-Ex.
Papa-How are you progressing
in your language lessons, Ethel?
Ethel have learned to say "i
you please" and "thank you" il
French.
Tommy--That's more than yo
ever learned in English.-Terre Haut
Express.
Cholly-Oh, | had such shock
Dollie-Tell us about it, deah boy
Cholly-Howwid fellow met me OF
the avenue and says: Excuse me
but do have the pleasuah of ad
dwessing Mrs. Jenness-Miller ?"
was so cnwaged that | am positivel
twembling yet.-Ex.
He saw it. Lady of the house q
tramp going through the gate) Here
you promised to saw that wood if
gave you meal.