Sharp County record., 1890-01-30
World h.
FULL OF FUN

IUo 100, late pie -Ue-'I've got broth
WIN yOur b. Still Ape"u, sbe-"Dat's muffin
land eRGa sic y ios ps' r brother nangel" Lille
chief ea,s5 so sHes very plain in MS SPF Path
tco la. ~'v 80 calls spade space, lid
got ont ss 'sd he rank Ould liar aV ,T1r ne TIIl00
to Save " d made mad ke."-Munsey "eeA d,rb
bro,.. ,s 1oa 'nPse roctals are easily enough
e oAgA h ria',o nno has only to learn piano.
|oa+b 0I snagee s,, and recite it. If it makes
"cor 70 4sad that is not the fault OF the
urch Of y y anon O. Picayune' ,.oo,oa
Whom Ga a',' sc;entifc sharp has discoVereu
|y of tb 0Ta9 .he earth weighs 59O6oO'ooV'V@Uv' @
SoT ue El az sn' 3D. don't bet on it. Inc
|bf,a que u0vv low have weighed it on coal
fa 70 Soas ien',9' which weigh only l,ooo
hunt a mnds to the ton,-Drake n"s A..lv -o,
of tb,nI%l An Irnlucky Man.-A,-'HaVe you u
the resiS - had any experience in love a1lalro
p NJ. N.'Iteaa = aWell, should say had IN ioSo
b barbo, Ia 4, tbeunluckiest of mortals AL VnT
tal,o e ~, tset loved and even some thaV
crr r+g nh 10 heann to love yet were gobbled
~ ~ ', Tue d 'uil othor fellows and married. -
PUSHES wifi exas Siftings u,bo
temno ~. "a Manufacturer Ito his office boy VINO
In sbo M aa ors;stentlv sets the clock backward IN
b. Iuv a~ puts erS''Ve ;nr and forward during the
In na.I 4''s horrl-sI can't understand why
ov wv OOaa III a,acL is always behind when ar
church i've at The Office and ahead When ~ ig%
in tho ta !" Office Boy (nnocently) - o,,,ra
outside Nj thinks it ought to hustle whll0 S0U
land cbo,45 ore sir."-Jewelers' Weekly
|u not cor -aWhat are yer doin', you young
|wide.ono, oscal9ssaid farmer to remarkably
|n9 F'4 Iii hov on finding him standing
.Iabo.,S H. ! tree in his orchard with an
from 'l'" ,,o \ his hand "Please sir, l was
tomro gon to put this ere apple back on
foat ~ FL 4roo sir if had fallen down, sir -
|g place. Nudge. -, 49,. n
|Dv bogm3. ,o.r Missus Magnify about yez two
|w dollars yyurls givin' German? IS 1n"I Sot
make no Mrs. Magnty-"Dade an IL !s' haY0 ."
e out Of lind Mary Ann must kape up via SasSio,
their br%tv. dive moind?" Mrs. Donahue-l ne
/ doctors Iisiikeso d givin' German Begorra
londIord jts nothin' but affectation. Ply don't
|tbo To.1 vaz Give an Oirish and be done wild it?"
|st to n,, -Amerca.
| nd t.ppT -Dumlev (overtaking Lumley on his
il s ,vav home to inner)-"Arent you rath-
tako !. er late tonight, Lumley?" Lumley-
|fuII ora ssyes--washerwom -washerwoman-
wasberwoman. I've had hard days
mora tb,, work -washerwoman." Dumley-"What
10 onnrs+. are Won mumbling 'washerwoman for?
|e aro A., Inmlev-"So that l shan't forget to ad'
for C,:@ yertise for washerwoman in this after
of tba+ ai4 moons paper My wife told me to keep
[o vbo repeating washerwoman, and I've kept
|o.toutS @ it up ali day, and Suddenly by thun'
IL nrr der! ii | didn't forget it after all"-
!, onS4 Yankee Blade.
y, anu ul Proprietor lat telephone)-"Hello,
mu central! What seems to be the matter?
4n IA have been trying for the last half hour
"' wa. 40. to get you. Give me one-naught-hVe'
VA 'uA' waits ten minutes longer and no an
L ap0A swer.l ''Dear, dear this telephone puts
/ iVlugS me all out of patience. Here, Thomas,
up n ~ Ia call up one-naught-fve, and wait till
WIZ V0a' you get it." Office boy giving handle a
/ VlIN1 vigorous whirl l)-"Hullo-hullo! Say,
/ y VIC VIZ '' central watts achin' you? Why don't
.. you git US one-ought-fve, hay? Come,
anu s now, git on rush there and shake 'em
|o-sla slN up or we'll drop onto you from de roof
"oslVn 'S!Dn and paralyze you!" Central (obse-
|S0ctF' .tF quiously)- sir, I'll connect you
Si.un8 T right away; excuse delay, please