Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1890-08-30


MY MOST DISTINGUISHED are known to him
CONSIDERATION. personally, and he
takes every opportunity Of introducing hims elf
or being introduced to strangers. No bashful-
newcomer in the hotel lobby with a graceful
dignity calculated to make the stranger con-
slider himself honored by the meeting. The
most natural thing under such circumstances
is for the newcomer to ask the colonel to have
something at the bar. One of the coloners
numerous acquaintance comes in and
the colonel effects an Introduction. That
means one or two more drinks around.
Another friend Of the coloners is
presently drawn into the party, which is
probably further augmented later on, and all
the elements are thus established for a nights
Publication and endless rounds of WHISTLES
and juleps. The colonel is now in his element.
About politics he knows it all and crates orac-
ularly. Such of his talk as concerns himself
usually relates to the vastness OF his estates
before the war and the multitudinousness of
his niggers. Probably he will never think OF
setting them up" SO much as once during the
evening, not because he has not the instinct
of hospitality, but simply for the reason that
he has no money. If on rare occasions he ex-
tends an invitation to drink, he does not say
merely, what will you take?" His least
elaborate form Of expressing the idea is:
ALLOW me, sab, to renew my distinguished
consideration" Or he will say, with grace
full wave of his hand in the direction OF the
more upon the tempestuous sea Of alcoholism"
SUMNER AND WINTER.
In summer the typical COLONEL wears a
flowing linen duster, but in winter he is attired
in Prince Albert coat buttoned in tightly at
the waist and unbuttoned above so as to give
room for the expansion of his chest. His bear
ing is always excessively military, his hat, q
broad-brimmed SLOUGH of black felt, his cane
of rattan, and his shoes cut low in the quarter
IN erlo h inc ,,l,
in order that people shall know they are
changed each morning. The dubious quality
of his title is illustrated by the story of a rep
resentative of his type who was asked by
stranger what regiment he had been col
onel Of
Permit me to inform you sab. was the re-
ply, that am no army colonel. In Kentucky,
sab. a gentleman who has exchanged shots with
another gentleman on the field of honah is a
major; if he has killed his adversary he is
colonel, sah."
As to the title chosen-whether colonel"
major" or judge"-it is simply matter Of
taste.
HOW THEY HELP THE LOBBY.
These very remarkable persons are nearly all
Of them deadbeats, it is true; and yet they con-
troll a certain influence in affairs that astute
lobbyists are often glad to employ. Not only
do they perform certain petty work in the
lobbying way, as go-betweens and otherwise,
rumors. No one who has not made legislative
science study can realize how much influence
rumors have in the making of affairs. Started
In an hotel bar room by an irresponsible gossip
monger, rumor passes from mouth to mouth,
gaining the credit of each responsible person
who speaks of having heard it, until it gets to
be accepted as truth and votes and even laws
are changed by it. Many time has an hotel
judge or colonel been paid money to state a
falsehood in public place and thus set it in
circulation for an ultimate purpose. The thing
was repeatedly done during the Speakership
fight when members were anxious to Jump over
to the winners side at the earliest possible
moment. Borrowing money, however, in sums
from Is cents to SIS, is the coloners favorite
method Of procuring pocket money. Enormous
amounts of cash, by the way, have beer spent
recently for lobbying in behalf Of the silver in
terest, the lead interest-to keep the duty on
imported lead-and the oleomargarine industry,
which does not want law made to compel the
stamping of its product with its true name.