Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-10-21

| Ras winter long and drear;
! But he who lives 'twixt sun and snow
| Has heat and cold combined;
| He gets the weather whether or no,
And is forced to go it blind.
| ONE snow fly doesn't make winter.
| DON'T keep any Of the children out of tn,
| night schools on account of crowded auc
cramped quarters Room should be provided
I for all comers School days only come once il
| a lifetime you know.
ONE bum makes hummer, for the dose i!
generally repeated.
SEWER gas comes high, too. 1t means doc
tor bill
If the young Kaiser keeps on in the line he ID
pursuing kingship will go up notch or So
His acknowledgements project is
worthy highest praise. When rulers reach
their subjects by appealing directly to theil
hearts instead Of flashing the splendors of court
life before their eyes snd parading power
behind line of bayonets they will only rise up
to call him blessed.
You spend your vacation and your money at
the same time, my boy.
HE is strutting in the barnyard with head very
high,
On the fat of the land he is living:
But, proud old turkey. you must surely die,
And be gobbled on the next Thanksgiving.
LOVE is as great a aleveler as poverty.
BRASS BAND musicians take a horn before
they 60 on toot
If an actress loses her wardrobe in hotel
fire she gets more pity at the hands OF the pub
lie than those who have only few charred
bones to comfort them.
IF Delamater was the victim of anonymous
letters he would be right in maintaining dig
nitied silence But he isn'S.
The Standard oil organs now call THE DIS
PATCH "demagogue." The dictionary thus
defines the word: "A person who sways the
people by oratory or persuasion" Thanks
Right you are.
OUR growth should not be retarded by lack
of homes. Put up the houses and pull down
the rents.
The latest national scandal promises to i'm
plicate the Census Bureau. If its figures lie
they cannot be relied on, and if they have been
doc.ored for partisan purposes. the count is of
no account The rumors flying around furnish
sufficient grounds for public peep at the re-
turns
SANTA CLAUS usually puts his costliest gifts
in the silk stockings, after all.
TREMBLE. Cooper. tremble!
Vainly you dissembe.
Hear ye not the rumble,
Fear ye not the tumble
of the big majority
To mere minority7
Tremble, Cooper tremblei
Useless to dissemble,
The disaffection's wide,
Prepare for landslide.
Shiver, Cooper, shiveri
Get ready for Salt River.
IF Pension Agent Barclay is to be bounced
for offensive partnership, what does President
Harrison propose to do with John Jarrett and
the genial but sly John Delaney? Don't hide
the last named under the hat, Benjamin.
THE speeders are expected to go kiting over
the kite-shaped tracks. Money will be kited
on the horses just the same, of course.
FARMERS boys follow the plow, and farmers
daughters, if they are sensible, follow the
plowman.
P1TTsBURG has great many ups and downs.
A MALE child's bed is boycott,
WE are still striking roarers in the gas belt.
ye going-back-to-coal croakers. Spread the
news among the men of the land who play with
fire.
ALL the wickedness In New Orleans is
directly traceable to the lottery curse. People
who live on chance take desperate chances
THE Dalmatian olive crop is failure. The
cotton seed crop is all right, however.
So the church fair lottery is under the ban.
What's sauce for the goose is sapce for the
gander, of course. WILLIE WINKLE,