Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-03-23

want, and Americans don't like that. A
female waiter in one OF the Nassau street
restaurants was dubbed the Duchess. She
performed the functions of her menial office
clad in black velvet. When the bright, in
telligent young woman can bring herself to
cut her hair short, abolish frizzes, dress
plainly and keep her mind on her duties,
even when listening to a compliment from a
1O-cent customer, she will always find 1t
possible to make living in this large city.
But to many it would be living death.
have just heard good story that is en-
eouraging, inasmuch as it proves that some
pretty American girls are not so mad to
capture and marry Englishmen of title as
some foreigners would have US believe. The
names of the characters in the comedy can
be comfortably lett out, all that IS necessary
! to say being that the girl was a fine, healthy
example of the Yankee beauty, with for
tune, and more charms of manner and per-
son than any other girl in her set. The man
was 4 parsonage OF high rank, who dis
tinguished himself, after his rebuff ut the
hands OF our heroine, by capturing wealthy
widow, who was more dazzled by his noble
station.
SHE wRITHED AND wRIGGLED.
It was at grand function that his
grace's ardor reached the boiling pitch, and
he allowed himself to speak the precious
words that placed his proud name in the
hands of the young New York belle. The
two were alone, out among the plants in the
conservatory, and his grace was declaring,
with as much warmth as his dignity and
the temperature of the night would permit,
that he had decided he loved the Young
lady, and would she consider that she was
invited to become his wife. His grace, as
he made the soft avoval of his affection. OBJ
served that the object of his affection
squirmed neryously about as though labor
ing under strong pressure of excitement.
He, feeling that she was overawed by the
seriousness of the situation, endeavored most
delicately to put her at her ease by assuring
her that he would wait for his answer, and
begging her to think OF him only as a humble
sultor come to court her, all unworthy, even
though his rank was a great one But the
girl continued to writhe about, finally set
tling in despair on q chair. His grace was
was on his knees in an instant, 1mploring
her pardon if ne had been too hasty, As she
kept on weeping he pleaded to know what
was the matter and what he could do to re-
Heve her suffering.
We'll, you see, sobbed the girl, ST have
a porous plaster on my back, and it is almost
driving me frantic. I must get somewhere
and take it off or shall go mad
HIS grace gave up his suit in that diree-
ton at once.
THE PLOT OF A LOVER.
Ingenious are the youth Of the METROPOLIS.
There is young but bright boy who won
the hand of belle, but the engagement has
not been especially happy, for the reason
that she has not chosen to discourage the
attentions of her old admirers to the extent
demanded by her accepted suitor Among
the men who continued to implore her
tolerance after she had pledged her hand,
uaolfbu I'M
omlnous party was the particular eye-sore
to the future husband of the firtatious
beauty, and many were the fierce objections
made to his persistent deYotions, but to no
purpose. The German was at the house
of the fancee quite as often as the youth
himself, and appeared to be treated with
most objectionable preference by every one
in the family.
Finally the young man made up his mind
that conspiracy was in progress to rob him
of his promised bride, and he set himself
about to put quick stop to it. His
method of doing so was certainly heroic.
Conscious that the girl of his heart did mot
know a word of German, he learned from a
friend a series of the most imnertinant
phrases contained in that eloquent Ianpuaoe.
They were such as would make a fish
monger resentful, but all innocently
THE GIRL LEARNED THEN
from her lover, with the understandings that
she should astonish her old German adj
mirer by speaking them off rapidly when bs
was not prepared. The wretched vontb
'wore solemnlY that the words were entiraI,
elegant. and that the German wouId he
much pleased by the sentiment thew con-
tanned.
The evening came when the three were
alone for a moment together, The youno
man gave his signal, and the girl proceeded
IN her sweet voice to recite her lesson To the
German. AS the terrible syllabIes dropped
rom her lips he began to grow pale until he
was dead white. Then his blood took the
opposite course and his face became purple.
quickly at the young man he
5asped: Goodness gracious, do YOU hear
that? What is the matter with her?'
The boy approached and whispered into
.he ear of the German: .'Monomauiac.
Likely to break out at any time with lust
such fearful words in her own language.
Can't cure her,
With Il look of fright and pity in his ewes
The German hastily made his adieus and
eit the house. His attentions to the pretty
;irl ended from that night.