The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1890-01-15
WISE AND UNwIsE.


FIGURED goods-heiresses.
INVARIABLY seasonable - salt, mus
lard, pepper, vinegar.
@WHY il the way of the transgressor
so hard?" ,"S'pose because it's travelled
40 much"
WHEN Chicago girl gets there with
both feet, how impressive and emphatic
Is tine arrival.
The race is not always to the swift.
A one-legged fat man can catch cold as
quick as a sprinter.
BlNKs-Barlow says betting is not
against his principles? Winks - OF
course not; he hasn't any.
sYou are always talking about q
donkey. You don't mean me?" What
ails you? There are many donkeys be-
sides you"
EUROPE seems to be greatly exercised
over a triple alliance, but out In Utah
they are as thick as the specks on a
turkeys egg.
THE man who boosted that he was
regular az the sun" forgot that that
Mminary rises only twice in the year at
the same time.
AYoU look so much like your broth
err said Dennis to Phelim, "that L
could tell yez was brothers if I'd niver
seen aither av yez.
WHAT L admire about Josephine is
her self-possession. ayes, fear she
can't help that. don't know anybody
else who would have her"
How Is your furnace?" First rate.
We manage to get il warm every day,
but it is a little selfish about letting
any of the heat get away from it.
FIRST Newsboy-T There goes a gent.
Chase him. Second Newsboy-No use.
Just saw him come out of barber
shop. He's heard all the news there
Il.
ADVOCATING the throne: Mrs. Upton
Patiently do YOU cry, cook? Bridget
Iabout to be married Its mesilf that'1
soon be no better off than the rest of
yez.
TEACHER (to eight-year-old scholar)
What is the population of this city?
Scholar-566, 664. "The book says
566 663." But 1 was born since last
census"
YOUNG wife-A horrid rat ate one of
those lovely canaries my husband got
me, and that's why got cat. Matron
Well? Young wife-And then the
cat ate the other.
MoTHER-Now, girls, as you've fin
ished your daily quarrel, suppose You
go and eat some dinner. Arabella (sar-
castically)-Oh, / suppose you want
Us to swallow our feud.
One of our contemporaries, in noting
| the successful career of venerable
man who has just died in Maine, makes
the startling statement that "he was
born without dollar in his pocket"
EASILY explained: Epson Downes
What bright chances Miss Gibbons
shoots at young Featherly tonight.
Round About-They are quite notice
able. but not surprising considering
the amount of powder she has on her
| face.
Mr.. BROWN awakening from a two
weeks spree)-Where am /? Mrs.
Brown wishing to make the awakening
as horrible as possible)-You are In
in hades. Brown-And you here,
tool oh, my punishment is greater
| than l can bearl
Mrs. GREENEYEs-It is useless for
you to attempt to deceive me. Imagine
my feelings when find blonde hair
on your coat when you know my hair is
black. Mr.. Greeneyes-Well, my dear,
if you don't like it, why don't you
bleach your hair?
Have you quarter you can give me,
4 aClyn oil Tot IL DOL n1f Il In
al of a citizen. My wife and children
have had nothing to eat for two days"
~Oh, that won't do" replied the
gentleman; 81 gave you 30 cents yes
! terday. What did you do with that?"
al had to buy meat for the dog"