davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington critic., 1890-05-16
CLARKsoN AND MERIT.

1t is interesting to learn that Mr..
ClaTkson of Iowa is in favor of "the
merit system in the civil service. The
statement comes to us, however, on ex-
cellent authority, and we must assume
that 1t is a truthful one. We now un-
derstand Mr.. Clarkson's civil service
theory in every respect save one, and,
as soon as we can ascertain what con-
stitutes merit in his philosophy, we
shall be thoroughly informed.
Several Of the greatest reformers in
the Democratic party favor the merit
system as fervently as Mr.. Clarkson
does. Hon. d. b, Hill of New York,
Hon. Eugene Higgins of Baltimore,
and dozens more whom we could name,
have always planted themselves firmly
on this ground. Mr.. Higgins held that
merit consisted in living in Baltimore
and in being able to carry a ward con-
cealed about ones person. That kind
Of merit went straight to Mr. Higgins
heart and its possessOrs would, had Mr..
Higgins been able to arrange it, have
had the freedom of the Departments.
Mr.. Hills Interpretation of merit does
not differ materially from that of Mr.,
Higgins, and need hardly be analyzed
separately. The question is whether
their merit scheme is or is not identical
with Mr.. Clarkson's.
We shall never know what Mr.. Clark
son means by declaring himself in favor
of the merit system until we have be-
fore us his definition of merit. The
prevalent impression is that Mr. Clark
sons philosophy is as simple and child
The Washington critic., 1890-05-16
Two Interesting Proctors.

from We CHtCu0O IFtOuhe'
FRANKFORT, KY, May l1,-Between
the Louisville Derby and the Senatorial
election the whole State of Kentucky is
In great excitement. 1t requires vast
degree of discernment to discover which
question occupies the greater amount of
discussion. The 1FJune correspondent
asked one of the lawyers in the office of
the Capital Hotel this afternoon: How
is Proctor Knott doing?'
"Well, really | don't know. | saw
Sam Bryant up in Louisville, and he
says that Proctor Knott is pretty well.
WHO said that "
"Why. Sam Bryant. He owns Proc
tor, and he says Proctor isn't entered
for any stakes"
rs not entered for this race ="
mo, sir. He is not in the Derby; he
is turned out to grass.
"Do you mean to say that Proctor
Knott has no place in this contest?"
why, look here. stranger. We don't
mean the same thing. You refer TO
Governor Knott; ! thought you meant
the hoss Wheny you say Proctor Knott
to a Kentuckian he at once believes you
have the hoss in mind. Say Governor
Knott. and he'll know what you mean.
The joke is on me. There is place
open around the corner, if IL is sun
day"
The Washington critic., 1890-05-16
A BxeoNE BEAUTY.
Once Famous Woman Well Known
in Washington.

A Once Famous Woman Well Known
In Washington.
From tie Richmond Dispatch.
The woman who sweeps by in the
gay crowd on Broadway was famous
beauty in her day. She is still good
looking Her face is triae stouter,
and there are wrinkles on her brow and
crows feet in her cheeks, but II Is still
face that would be noticed in crowd.
1t is Mrs Kate Chase-Sprague. This
once famous beauty, who welded more
power in American politics, perhaps,
than any other American woman has
ever done, is going down the hill Of
life in quiet, easy way.
She goes to New York occasionally
TO visit friends, but her home is in
Washington. She is no longer the gay
butterfly of fashion, and her dresses,
while fashionable and well made, have
not the dash that made her so much
talked about in ante bellum days Her
life in the National Capital is simple
one. There Is none of the luxury at
Edgewood that characterized her life
during her fathers career, but she is
happy, nevertheless, for her children
are growing up around her, her old
friends are still true to her, and she
looks on calmly at the progress OF
events with smiling face.
The Washington critic., 1890-05-16
BUYING CANDoR.
A Story Told of the Late Congressman
TaulDee


Taulbee.
From tie Cincinnati ENQUIRER.
A story is told of Congressman Taul-
bee of Kentucky, who was shot lately
by Charles Kincaid in Washington City,
that contains considerable humor. An
old colored man, called Uncle Eph, had
lived in the Taulbee family many years,
and was considered an honest and faith
full old servant. After the election for
Congressman, Taulbee having been q
candidate, he was taunted by some of
his opponents with the statement that
Uncle Eph had voted against him.
Loath to believe it, he called old Eph
into his room and said
"Uncle Eph, is ii true that you voted
against me at the election?"
"Yes, Massa William" replied Eph
II voted de Publican ticket
WELL" said Taulbee, ~ like frank
ness, and here's a dollar for your can
dor.'
The old colored man stood scratching
his head when Taulbee asked;
well, Eph, what is it?'
"Well, Massa Taulbee," said Eph,
''if you is buying candor you owes me
fo' dollars mo- kase l voted agin we
five times"
The Washington critic., 1890-05-16
A NINE OF rSFoRmArloN.
The Man Who Tells Coneressn en- what
They Want to Know
Front q, ca,p,atsr's Lsttcr.

Frank q, Ca,p'nter's Letter.
! dropped into the Congressional
Library and asked Mr.. Spofrord as to
the condition of the great American
brain. Mr. Spoiford is the man who
gives out all the copyrights In the
United States, and every intellectual
enterprise that starts must first come to
him. He is a wiry little anatomy of
skin, bone and brain, with face as
dark as that of q Spaniard, and with
a body which is the porsoniflcation of
nervous activity. His forehead is
broad, his eyes are as black as Jet
and his thick hair and beard are now
tineed with gray. During the past
twenty-five years he has by proxy con
tributed more to the Congressional
Record than any man in Washington.
Congressman GO to him for all sorts of
information and get it. He has the
title of every one of the half million
odd books in this biggest library of the
country on his tongues end, and he
knows where to find information on all
topics, from cooking to theology.
The Washington critic., 1890-05-16
what watterson rhInIks or II,

From tie Louisville COurier-JOuAal, Nay 10.
The nomination of Richard Vaux to
succeed Mr.. Randall takes us back into
the centuries and completely battles all
current controversies. Mr.. Vaux was
in the old times the most brilliant mem
Der of the Philadelphia Bar when a
Philadelphia lawyer was supposed to
be the perfection of all wit and the
completion of all knowledge. His nom
ination ought TO combine everybody in
Mr.. Randall's district. Nobody ought
to care two cents what Dick Vaux
thinks about anything, since all Demo
Gratis may be sure that he is a Demo.
crat of the school of Dallas and Bu-
chanan, and dead sure to do right in
the supreme moment. His nomination
is an inspiration to Pennsylvania De-
mocracy, and should be an exhiaration
to Democracy everywhere.
The Washington critic., 1890-05-16
EQUAL FOR AN HOUR.
The Only Time Our German Minister
Was as Great as the Rest.

From Chatter.
One day last year, when the Emperor
of Germany and the Prince of Wales
met in Berlin, our Minister, William
Walter Phelps, became for few hours
as much man as any one in the com.
pany. He is not TO day, and he never
has been since that occasion. No man
we have ever sent abroad was as much
admired as Phelps is by the Germans.
They say of him that he can accom-
.plish whatever he wants to as diplo-
mat-be is so popular and his ability
is so greatly respected. But he Is only
a Minister, and on all state occasions he
must fall to the rear behind the Am
bassador from little Portugal and the
diplomats of even some barbarous ma
tions. That is what happens to the
representatives of America at every
court in Europe.
Representing country where all
men are equal, they are nevertheless
made interiors by an idiotic refusal to
give them the title that other nations
bestow upon their chief agents. On the
day | speak of the Prince of Wales
walked over to the Diplomatic Corps
and shook hands and chatted with Mr..
Phelps. He had met Phelps before, and
likes him. That little condescension of
royalty made our minister for that one
day the equal of his associates. Was
there ever such nonsense? Abolish the
institution. or, If not, at least give them
the rank which all the world acknowl-
edges to be theirs by right Why pay
all the money this service costs solely to
advertise the United States as second
class power
The Washington critic., 1890-05-16
FLOWER FEARLESS or FARMERS.
other Ways aud Means Members
Hiding Behind Him

other Ways aud Means Members
Hiding Behind Him.
The dread which the Congressman
feel for the Farmers Alliance, says a
Washington correspondent in to.day's
Philadelphia Record, is shown by the
fact that Roswell p. Flower was the
only member of the Ways and Means
Committee who would ask the Alliance
men any sharp questions. When the
Georgians and other Congressman
found that Flower, although candi-
date for the Presidency, had the nerve
to cross. examine MacuDe and Liv.
ingston, and even to say publicly that
he was opposed to their crop warehouse
schemes, they supplied him with lot
of written questions to PROFOUND to the
Alliance men. This was how he was
so well informed.
The Washington critic., 1890-05-16
In the Spring

Nearly everybody needs good medicine Tne
impurities which have accumulated In the
blood during the cold months must be ex'
pelled or when the mild days come and the
effect Of bracing air is lost the body Is liable
TO be overcome by debility or some serious
disease. The remarkable success of Hoods
sarsaparilla and the universal praise 1t has
received make It worthy your confidence. II
Is the "ideal Spring Medicine" Try 1t this
season.
That Tired Feeling
rThere is a large and growing demand here
for Hoods sarsaparille the sales already ex-
ceeding those @! all other similar medicines
combined. l know of many customers who
have been greatly benefited by 1t and who
speak Of Hoods Sarsaparlla In the highest
terms. | take two bottles myself every
spring and fall and 1t does me more good
than any other medicne."-A. G. RHODES,
Mines, Va.
N.B.--If you decide TO take Hoods sarsa'
parlla do not be induced to buy any other.
The Washington critic., 1890-05-16
Senator Davis, Firs. Case.
From tie Ne1U York star.

did ever tell you how gained my
first client?" Senator G. X. Davis of
Minnesota asked me the other evening.
No? Well, its too good story to
keep so here you are. Away back in
eighteen hundred and ever so few-yes,
that's definite enough--I was trying to
practice law in little townin Northern
New York. 1t was long before the day
of corporations and their natural Sc
quence, corporation lawyers and young
men had to hustle for themselves, and
mean, inactive kind of hustling 1t was
Well my shingle had been out for about
six months, and / had been the busiest
man-doing nothing--you can imagine.
| began to be discouraged. One day
it was a Sd of Maya man did ap.
pear in my office, and informed that he
was stranger and, needing legal adj
vice, had applied to the local Judge,
who had told him to come to me, as 1t
was a well. known fact that had never
lost suit was staggered for mo-
ment, but came to time like a little
man, and admitted he had heard truly.
/ had never lost suit-nor had /, he
being my first client. ! suppose I
should add that the judges practical
joke made my fortune, but truth com
pels me TO admit it didn't. 1t took a
great many years of very hard work to
do thar -
The Washington critic., 1890-05-16
Postage Stamps Good untn Used.

From ne hartford COuraHt
Persons having old postage stamps some
times think they are rendered worthless by
the issue of new ones. Thisls not So The
only obsolete stamps are those of the issues
of lS47 and 1851, very few Of which are now
In existence In the North, and these are
generally worth more than their face value
for collectors. The issues of 1861, 1869, and
1870 are as good IN the payment Of postage
as the new issues. The reason the issues Of
lS47 and 1851 are not accepted is because
large amounts OF these were outstanding In
the South at the time of the rebellion, and
the present holders of them probably Sc
cured them without rendering an equiva-
lent to Uncle Sam.
The Washington critic., 1890-05-16
AN oLD-FAsHIoNED LOVE SONG

Tell me what within her eyes
Makes the forgotten spring arise,
And all the day, If kind she looks,
Flow to a tune like tinkling brooks;
Tell me why, If but her voice
Falls on mems ears, their souls rejoice;
Tell me why, If only she
Doth come into the companie
All spirits straight enlindled are,
As If Il moon lit up starr
Tell me this that's writ above,
And will tell you why love.
Tell me why the foolish wind
Is to her tresses ever kind,
And only blows them in such wise
As lends her beauty some surprise;
Tell me why the changing year
Gan change from spring If she appear;
Tell nue. why to see her face
Begets in all folks else o grace
That makes them fair, as love OF her
Did to gentler nature stir?
Tell me why, if she but so,
Alone, across the fields OF snow
Al fancies of the springs of old
Within lovers breast grow bold;
Iell me why, when her he Sees
Within him stirs an April breeze;
And all that I'm his secret heart
Most sacredly was set apart,
ana most was hidden, then awakes
Az the sweet JOY her coming makes.
Iell me this that's writ above,
And ! viii tell you why love,
H. Q. Bamer iR Scribaer'a
The Washington critic., 1890-05-16
BURNS, COTTAGE.
Every Year Thousands of Visitors Find
Their Way Tbither.

Every Year Thousands of Visitors Find
Their Way Tbither.
From me London Truth.
Every summer thousands of visitors
make pilgrimages TO the cottage in
which Robert Burns was born, near
Alloway Kirk and the banks O. Doom.
They are shown the room in which
the poet first saw the light, as well as
the original furniture used by Burns
parents. VIII it be believed that all
the genuinely original furniture of the
cottage was sold eff by public roup in
September, 1S43, most of it being now
in the possession of a gentleman in
Manchester, who wants thousand
fathers chair, the mothers chair, the
poets chair, Pembroke table with flap,
another without flap, the mother work
table, chest of drawers, eight-day
clock, corner cupboard, drinking cup
of wood, ale horn, table bell, tea caddy,
toddy ladle, twelve chairs supplied by
"the Miller Goudie," the sword worn
by Burns as an eXciseman, and
the probe he used on his pre-
ventive excursions. All these are
authenticated by letters from men VINO
had seen them before 1S43. The seller
throws in five visitors books-from
1899 to 1S43-containing 1000 auto
graphs, as well as letter of the poets.
Here is chance for some Scotch
museum or Burns club. They were
offered for sale to the secretary of Scot
land, but his secretary wrote that while
they were of mo value" they might
be given to the nation. The seller re-
piled that, as the nation had never
given him anything, he did not see his
way to carry out the proposal. A six.
pence from every member of Burns
club would secure the collection.
The Washington critic., 1890-05-16

OUR ESTEEMED CONTEMPORARY, the
Post, may safely dismiss its fears as to
Mr.. Mills. That gentleman is not given
to cquivocation. What he thinks he
says and he employs to that end fine,
able bodied, nervous English, as to the
purpose and significance of which it is
difficult to harbor the smallest doubt.
When Mr.. Mills said that the present
Ways and Means Committee had not
been improperly approached, he stated
what he believed to be. and what doubt.
less is, the truth. Why should the
committee be approached, improperly
or otherwise, by those who made their
deal with the Republican party itself in
1888? Every Republican member of
that committee knew what he had to
do, and every one could be relied on to
do it, or he would not have been put
there. The bargain was made two
years ago, when the fat was fried. 1t
roves nothing that there has been no
hags ling in the settlement.
The Washington critic., 1890-05-16

If New YORK elects Colonel Eliot f.
Shepard Mayor, it will prove itself to be
more kinds of fool than a certain
prominent millionaire once accused his
son. in-law of being.
The Washington critic., 1890-05-16

THE TALENT" must have gone down
heavily in the Brooklyn Handicap.
There was only one Castaway in it,
but several thousand pocketbooks seem
to have been "marooned. 4"
The Washington critic., 1890-05-16

THE New YORK SVh pays its respects
toa rood man in this breezy fashion:
We find in an article by John Wana-
maker, published in the Philadelphia Tele-
graph, the sententious remark that sooner
or later every need is supplied. If the re-
mark be true, then sooner or later-proba-
bly, very much latcr-John Wanamaker
will get good taste.
The Washington critic., 1890-05-16


-B0stoRidn
Contributor-What kind of jokes do
you prefer
Editor--Leap year jokes.
Contibutor-Why?
Editor-Because it takes them four
years to get around again. .-Reystone.
Jinks-That young lady may be
fine pianist, as you say, but there is no
warmth in her touch.
Blinks-I guess you didn't hear her
play the Moonlight symphony?
Jinks-- No; but squeezed her hand.
-Ne,o York Weekly.
Twas not hat of spring, and yet
All turned to look with awe
Upon him, for he was the frat
That dared to wear a straw.
-Ihtlddeiphid Times
In view of the coming execution of
criminals by electricity, do you think it
is possible TO make non conductor of
the human body?"
II know of one method
"What is it,"
Make brakeman of the man. -
PatS6ur9 Chronicle 7elegraph.
Tailor-Well, Jones, how did your
wife like the new clothes?
Jones-She acted just as she did when
! first began to court her
TailOr-Ilow was that? Laid her
cheek on the lapels?
Jones-No; violently opposed my
suit Erchdnge.
1t is a fact to say Portner's Vienna Cab
met Beer is the best in Washington.
The Washington critic., 1890-05-16

No COLLATION. of idiouc utterauces
on The subject Of the Mississippi River
would he complete that did not include
the following editorial from the New
York IIoyld of the 10Th:
The Senate Committee on Commerce has
cen hearing many expert witnesses on the
subject of the Mississippi River, with re.
suits which are as dangerous as they are
scientific
The witnesses are mainly concerned with
the question Of improving the navigabllity
Of the river at times OF low water, and to
accomplish that they all desire still further
to restrict the channel, protecting the couu-
try from overflow IN times of Hood by build
ing additional levees.
There are two or three things to be said
on the subject in answer to the opinions
given. The first is that as low water occurs
mainly in the summer, when nobody wants
10 navigate the river to any great extent,
its navigability at such times is scarcely
worth much effort,
The second is that the only really serious
rroblem presented by the Mississippi Is
that of preventing the destructive mani
festations of its anger in time of food, and
that every suggestion of narrowing the
channel is in the direction of increasing
the danger.
The third is that the recent disastrous
failure of the levees to serve any useful
purpose is not encouraging to confidence
in that system, though one witness of an
optimistic temperament, Major Harrod,
incidentally Informed the committee that
this years experience had been ga victory
for the levee system"
The Washington critic., 1890-05-16

From the G,IB,GHtOun HdepeadeRt,
There is at least one man who takes
no stock in the assertion that marriage
is failure" He lives in Southern
Illinois and has just welded his sixth
wife. Every one of them brought him
farm, and he is now one Of the largest
land owners in the county. This shows
that marriage is great success if It is
managed properly, and that if man
sticks to business the same as to any
other he is bound to come out ahead.
The Washington critic., 1890-05-16
From ne Her0id

From ne Her0id.
Senator ingalls, protested the other day
against the increase in Government inter
ference in private concerns, saying; "When
the Government takes control of all the
agencies Of society we shall all be yirtuous,
contented aud happy--iust as we now ali
have gilt-edged butter under the Oleomar-
garne law, reduced freight and passenger
rates under the Interstate Commerce law
and pure and non-partisan politics under
the Civil Service lawn
The Washington critic., 1890-05-16

The best of all Beers-Robert Portner's
Vienna Cabinet Beer.
The Washington critic., 1890-05-16
OFFICE OF

A NOVELTY IN LADIES' TENNIS SHIRTS.
We are showing an excellent line of Ladies'
Tennis Shirts, which can be worn either as a
shirt or blouse. These are in very dainty
and attractive patterns of stripes, in All.
Silk, silk and Wool and All-wool Flannes
1.75 to 81 EACH This seems to be the most
attractive garment of its class yet shown.
Third floor.
LINEN DEPARTMENT.
$50 dozen Bleached Huck Towels, 10 by 49,
only 15c each; 81 rs per dozen.
6O-inch Turkey Red Damask, fast colors
SOC per yard.
eoinch Extra Heavy Cream Damask, SOC
per yard.
G4inch Extra Quality Cream Damask, 62lc
and Csc per yard.
Us Cream Damask Napkins, soc per dozen.
SIS Bleached Damask Napkins, 81 per dozen
Second floor,
WHITE GOODS DEPARTMENT.
New invoice of Hemstitched India Limo 1,
90 inches wide, only 25c per yard.
SPECIAL
$50 pieces Extra Quality India Linen, only
zee per yard.
100 pieces Imported Swiss Lawn, sheer
quality, IS sinches wide, 25c per yard.
2O0pieees Medium and Small Check Muslin,
only Sc per yard; good value.
Apronette Lawns, with open work and
satin stripe border, 40 inches wide, 1Oc, 12ic,
1Sc and 25c per yard.
Linen Ginghams in checks, brocades, stripes
and solid colors, SOC, 35c and 37lc per yard.
Second floor
NEW JEwELRY.
vl,uVU Lace Rms, III variety oI ATTRACTIVE
settings, only 10c each.
Silver Glove Buttoners, in form of whip,
only l5c each.
Gilt Shirt Studs, only csc each.
500 Pen Knives, in all styles, 25c to 81 .25
each.
Bonbonieres Boxes, SOC to s11 each.
First floor.
WOODWARD & L0THROP, /,
Corner lIth and + Sts. N. w.
The Washington critic., 1890-05-16
nm nrs1NrssIIkr rnrr

When Mildred lilted me she sent me back
The verses that wrote before my fall
They formed huge and rather awkward
pack,
But-henee my Joyous glee-I'ye sold
'em ALL
The Washington critic., 1890-05-16
A FEW SUN BEAMS.

ONE or THE THINGS THE POET HAS TO STAND
81 called TO see about some verses called
Burning Words ] sent here six weeks ago.
~ remember them. They We're too realis-
tie-actually took fire.
The Washington critic., 1890-05-16
Hoods
SarsapariIIa

Sold by all druggists. 81; six for S.. Pre-
pared only,by G. l.. HOOD g. CO., Lowell, Mass.
100 Doses One Dollar
The Washington critic., 1890-05-16
He Speaks Words of Democracy.

We all drink Robert Portner's Vienna
Cabinet Beer.
The Washington critic., 1890-05-16
ECONOMICAL

] like the European plan
OF living; It's so neat.
You dine with friends whene' 'eryou can,
And when you can't, don't eat.
The Washington critic., 1890-05-16

like as that of Messrs Hill and Higgins,
to wit That a large capacity for ward
working is the best evidence Of useful
ness in the civil service, and that skill
in the utilizing of "noaters" constitutes
a title clear to place Mr.. Clarkson him
self, however, is the proper person to
say what kind Of merit he has In view,
and, until he speaks, he must remain
unclassified. OF course, we all know he
is a reformer-but what is his speciality
The Washington critic., 1890-05-16
M. A. DAUPHIN,
New Orleans, La.
New Orleans National Bank,

new Orleansi La
"REMEMBER that the payment of Prizes
Is GUARANTEED BY FOUR NATIONAL
BANKS of New Orleans, and the tickets are
signed by the president of an institution
whose chartered rights are recognized in the
highest courts; therefore, beware of all imita-
tions or anonymous schemes"
ONE DOLLAR is the price of the smallest
part or fraction of a ticket ISSUED By US in
any drawing. Anything In our name offered
for less than Dollar Is a swindle-
The Washington critic., 1890-05-16
Marriage AS a business.

1t is a fact to say Portner's Vienna Cab,
met Beer is the best in Washington.
The Washington critic., 1890-05-16
LINEN DEPARTMENT.

WHITE GOODS DEPARTMENT.
New invoice of Hemstitched India Linol
90 inches wide, only 2jc per yard.
The Washington critic., 1890-05-16
AGENTS WANTED EVERYWHERE

EB-FoR CLUB RATES or any further infor-
nation desired write legibly to the under
signed, clearly stating your residence, with
State, County, Street and Number More
your inclosing an envelope bearing your full
address.