Telegram-herald., 1890-02-09
VERY NyE-ANTIC
Answers 70 coriespoadenls" Who
Are Rlch Ia Information.
WILD BILL isD his SLAYER
ax Yves Expsrtsass " i'm stage I'd pes
-Disaify Oftsa Csaesais . Good
Dsal-Cest OF a Ball IA
he@ foFx

tcopsnght. 1897 hY 4 " Syel
/ 10 not kno. that any oce has ever
referred publicly % ths average stage
hand A. We Ind hin al the one nlght
stantE Do not Lneau the professional
stage hand. ouE the young and piuPiy
party who aets as door walker for q
livery stable during the day aEd shifts
the scenery AZ the thsatEe st night.
he Is SELF made young man, who Is
noe afraid 70 appear before any audience
Ia pair Of high TOP rubber boots which
ne has used all day 10 wash buggies "a,
and light the footlights amid thunders Of
applause. We had one Of these gentle
men the other night. lie brought nine
others 20 help him | think that the
most Of them sleep on the stage nights.
They were playing ''oid sledge behind
the drop curtain when We caSe
DO not know what they we're there
for. We did nOe want them We did
not need them. They joyfully stood
arouad Ia the way and spat down large
knothoIs near the curtain rope. although
it was a hopeless task, for it dried up
before the next one could get ready. and
so they are no nearer 10 f0ating the
stage away than when they first began.
/ asked the head man II be would get
me a glass OF water. He said he had to
remain in order 70 attend 10 the curtain.
Aswedo not use any curtain or scenery or
properties. except a glass Of water and
a stick Of hoarhound candy. l thought
ne could be spared. but he did not seem
TO think so. and got small boy to
bring me the water. while the head boy.
now stage Napoleon. went 10 reading
once more the thrilling tale. Married in
Haste. 70 Repent at Chicago; or. How /
Won Her" by A. Oner. Esq.
lie was the tiredest young man for one
who was Just in the fluff and bloom and
heyday of life that | ever saw. He had
a very retreating chin. Otherwise he
would not have had the strength of pur-
pose 70 spit over il. His forehead also
asked 10 De excused and went back into
his hair in search Of ideas and one
thing aud another. Judge.
One of bis front teeth had disappeared.
Doubtless kicked out by an infuriated
horse while the two were sleeping in the
same stall. the horse being tied. however,
and unable To get away, using his only
means Of discouraging bed fellow with
whom he could certainly have nothing in
common. The loss of this tooth gave him
greater scope as an expectoratOr, and
would have assisted his smile if be had
ever smiled, but he never smiled. 1t is
very rare that such n man laughs. His
dignity and set of liverwurst thought
works in poor state OF preservation, are
all be has Life Is a serious matter with
an ass. do not say this in order 10 be
euphonious. but from the rich and over
flowing treasures of ripe experience.
q thought would say that before some
one else did il for me.l
The ass is always sad and dignified.
He Is profound and mournfuL If you
desire TO see solemnity. dignity and men
tai obliquity. go to the penitentiary and
70 the corral when the deep voiced ass
with the low. retreating forehead trills
his tremendous notes in the hush of the
evening.
NV dead friend. Mr. Shaw. once said
that dignity was no more the sign of
wisdom than the paper collar was the
sign Of shirt. and can put my hand
on ms heart and say he was right.
once knew man who had good
deal of dignity and n beard that he
could part in the middle like skye ter
riers With these rare gifts of mind
and heart he married a sweet young girl
aud got reading notice Of forty lines
in exchange for wedge Of bride cake.
which was afterward used in thin strips
for double leading the editorials. lie
advanced rapidly. until he had obtained
the confidence Of all who knew him.
Cashing this confidence one Saturday
evening. he parted with his parted whis-
kers, his flowing hair became fed. and
In thc morning. as a dignihed man who
had never been known 10 smile, wrote
his name on the rec~>er at Montreal
"lIany Citizens. "Veri5as, PRO Bono
Publico, '.Vox Populi. Tax Payer. a
wet eyed grass widow ard two little dig
uifsd cubs with pompadour hair wept
and would not be comforted. He never
came back.
In route I have received several letters