Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-11-18

WHEN a singer falls in public favor his voice
is usually cracked.
THE burglar uses fuse andsdrills
To land his golden game;
The cashier uses ink and quills,
But gets there just the same.
Iris as risky to speculate in futures in life
as in Wall street.
THE stories of the Arabs connected with the
Stanley expedition promise to be as long as
the Arabian Nights.
The police call a revolver BARKER" Prob
ably because some of them are stamped "Dull-
dog"
THE soil of Pittsburg is peculiarly adapted
to the cultivation of the iron plant.
THERE'S many a slip between autumn and
springtime.
JAY GOULD is neither Turk nor turkey,
but he's the boss gobbler. just the same.
IF Jameson was innocent of the cannibal
charge, why did he worry himself to death
about it7 Innocent people can survive the
breath of scandal and the attacks of liars.
WHEN a third of Wall street firm can steal
a third of a million the old saying about two is
company and three is none applies forcibly.
You can make sacrifices for woman, and
get the sack after all
WE sat by the river. you and /,
In the depths of a hot summer night;
Tho swiftly the fishes glided by
We didn't get nibble or a bite,
SOME stage stoves don't seem to draw any
better than the stars.
= THE fellows crowded out in the last baseball
deal are now trying to get bases on bawls
THE politicians are now cultivating the
farmers It's only a question of time until
they thrash the sons of the soil.
A MussEL diet does not tend to develop
muscle.
THE toboggan skating season will soon open.
THE women who cultivate good manners will
likely capture good man.
SAILORS should make patient husbands, be-
cause they are used to squalls
A SQUARE man is a good all round sort of
fellow.
OLD General Humidity was doing business
at the old stand yesterday. Such weather at
this season is as disagreeable as 1t is dangerous
If looking glasses had never been invented,
there would not be SO much vanity in the
world.
REPORTERS are always taking notes. but
they can only raise their salary on them.
WHEN a girls back hair falls down she re-
coils, Of course.
PEOPLE upon whom you easily make an i'm
preston are called soft.
IF some of Koch's lymph could be injected
into politics and kill the parasites now sucking
their life blood and eating away their tissues
humanity would be helped immensely.
If all women could cook as well as they can
dress more marriages would occur.
HERE'S to the maid of sweet sixteen
Who chases dull care away;
Light of step fairy queen,
Happy the liyelong day.
Toast not the maiden ever sad,
Who mopes while others laugh;
But to the maiden ever glad
A rousing bumper Quaf.
The ripping stream no secrets hide;
1t runs while others sleep.
Where smiles are not dark thoughts abide;
The sluggish streams run deep.
K1LGoRE is trying to kick Mills into the
Speakers chair. Is it a bootless task?
1T is to be hoped that Harrison's message
will not be as long as the last session of Con-
gress.
THE goods turned out by cigar makers are
constantly puffed.
boys.
IT'S rather hard to offer up thanks with the
knowledge that Congress and the State Legis.
lature are preparing to resume at the old
stands.
SOME female bathers are too timid to enter
the surf in the neighborhood of buoy.
BETWEEN Stanley and Koch the cable CON-
panies are reaping splendid harvest The en-
terprising newspapers are spending large sums,
and the public should bear this in mind.
EDISON says the humble bee is the best
model furnished by nature to the air ship
geniuses. Now they will be busy as bees.
THE plowmen are going into politics. Does
this mean that more mud is to be flung?
If the curtain could be rung up on some of
the dramas in real life we would be surprised
at the amount Of stage talent the world con-
tains.
Barring BROS. dropped their argent in the
Argentine. WILLIE WINKLE,
Underground Mining Exhibit Incorporated.
SPRINGFIELD. November 1.-THE American
Underground Mining Exhibit. of Chicago. to.
build an underground display mine for the purA,
pose of exhibiting the mineral resources of the
United States at the Worlds Fair and to estab-
lish a permanent museum of minerals and
other objects of curiosity, and give musical
and other entertainments, filed articles of in