The Democrat. (Scotland Neck, Halifax Co., N.C.) 1884-1896, 1890-08-14

beautiful, golden,sunset-tinted crani-
al adornment-had l his qualjfca.
tions, you should surely have had
such 4 paper as have limited at.
In lighter moments, when a renew
ed and paid up subscription had
kindled the skies aglow with hope, l
had fancied that l should indulge IN
some literary fighl; 1t may be by
firing few "Pistolgraphs" at "Salm-
agundi;" but that field, I knew. was
filled, and filed with perfect salts
faction to all concerned.
"Harbor Defences" was another
topic that I lad conceived might
prove Of general interest, but with
the Wilmington Star columbiad at
our princip>l port, l knew that my
services could not be needed, so
long as Duffy lays on, till he has
enough.
"Piety in Print" had an allitera.
tive attractiveness that for a moment
tickled my fancy, but not wanting to
entrench on the preempted field of
the editor of the Concord Times, |
refrained; nor do forget that it was
respect for another Concord editor,
be of the Standard tripod, that de-
tered my giving myself full scope
on 'Prospectlve Matrimony, or The
Maiden's Goose Cooked"
When | came to eliminating these
topics from the slate, | found among
others yet left, the patriotic subject,
"Our Governor, Commander of the
Army and Navy but l felt that
was poaching on the exclusive hunt
ing grounds of the Washington Gaz-
cite.
White Horses and Red-headed
Men" opened up vast field Of spec
ulative lore and logic, which after a
weeks labor was abandoned when |
thought [ saw myself in the Green
vile Reflector, being watched, too,
by the hundred eyed Goldsboro Rob
inson, who in sectional pride warned
men from trespassing in the eastern
part Of the State.
Believe me or not, as you Will, l
solemnly asseverate that the only
reason YOU are not treated to night
by me with an exceedingly funny
treatise on Laughing Gas Admin
Istered Without Teeth" is the report
that many windows were broken re-
Gently in Boston by mans crack
ing a classical and strictly Athenian
joke with scarcely an favor Of fun in
it, in the presence of our worthy
president who now has wire gauze
over all the windows in his Lumber
ton office; which by the blythe census
report shows belongs to our honored
president. and is "not mortgaged."
Though it purport but little that |
do not discnss here tonight How to
Make a Town With Gold Leaf To
bacco as the Basis" | obtrude the
excuse that it is only because that
feat has been successfully accom-
plished by my brother Manning, of
Henderson; and that, too, between
drinks, as it were, while he was nov
ing to Alabama in quest of a coal
mine while his own office towel stood
behind the door.
Certainly | was not unconscious
that it would be expected that |
should descant on " North Carolina
as Field for Daily Journalism;' -
but | have been trained that it is
bad manners to speak of ones NAL
aides in company. "EYenlng Jour.
nalism as an Adjunct of the Mornip :
Press,' would have claimed a oene.
fetal hour Of discourse; bat a bnrnt
child breads the fire, and many ol
you will readily recall the recent
confagration in that direction.
Growing philosophical In my rumi
nations, the thought struck me
very gently, though, [ do protest-~
that "P7ohibition as q Police Meas
ure ;" offered fertile field for AT
orator: and yet from my experience
| had never seen police measured
successfully, by prohibition Indeed
| am convinced that 1t would cause
& strike of ''the force" all over thit
continent, were prohibition made :
police measure. = Matrimo0y as
Census Measure ;" next l0omed VI
attractivcly ; but from time inmem
orial matrimony has never failed t
raise hue aud cry that is not los
even in the weary midnight hours
long after sleep has come to bache
lo-s. That subject was abandoned i
the nick Of time while [ walked tn