davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington critic., 1890-02-24
TILE NERLT SI-SuElL

1t ought always to be kept in mind
that, in discussing modes of appoint
ment to the civil service of the Gov
eminent most of those who advocate
the merit system as being immeasura-
bly, fairer, more satisfactory and more
suitable than the old patronage system,
do not commit themselves to any sup
port of the present Civil Service law or
of its regulations and its administra-
tion.
1t would, indeed, have been strange
if the first legislative attempt in that di-
rection had proved at all points a sue
cess, and if the law and the system
have been shown to be crude and de.
fectivc in many respects, it is only
what might fairly have been expected.
One difficulty with which the Civil
Service law has had to contend from
the beginning-and is now contending
has arisen from the fact that its op-
ponents, the politicians, who regard
the offices simply in the light of past
election rewards, never gave 1t n fair
chance. They did not look for the
good that was in it. They only saw
what was bad. They did not want to
see that, by successive amendments and
corrections suggested by experience, it
might develop into practical and salts
factory system.
But the popular mind takes little in
terest in bubbles about the laws
defects or the jarring of the ma
chinery of its administration. 1t takes
the sensible view that the law may be
amended and its administration i'm
proved. The mind of the people, how
ever, is very clear about one thing, and
that is, that the merit system must be
retained. To the Civil Service law be-
longs the credit of beginning what in
principle is revolution in the system
of appointments, and it is a revolution
that will never go backward. NaU0
restigid retr0rSUm.
The thorough amendment of the law,
indeed, is quite in order, and 1t will,
doubtless, be undertaken at the earliest
opportunity. But even if it should be
amended to such an extent as to compel
reconstruction from the keel up, the
merit principle will prevail only the
more, and the restoration of the patron
age system will be the more impossible.
The amended law will provide for ad-
mission to the purely ministerial, rs
distinguished from the administrative,
offices Of the Government on account
of merit, and for permanence in the
same, likewise through merit. The
tenure Of Office will he assured when
dismissals can only be made for re-
corded cause.
The real controversy in which the
people are interested Is that between the
merit and the patronage principles As
The CRITIC has heretofore shown, it Is
a controversy in which Washington Is
greatly interested, for the permanence
in Office Of large and important class
of citizens means prosperity to the city.
The Washington critic., 1890-02-24
ER ELSH NTllRN

Nearly year ago fisherman w. T. Van
Dyke, while pursuing his occupation oil
shore, invitingly threw out a Gshing-line
with two well-baited hooks Presently there
was ierk-the bait had 'took.n Van
Dyke was hauling in hand over hand, when
suddenly the tension ceased and the line
was gracefully and adroitly whlsked into
the boat minus both hooks Last fall Mr..
Van Dyke, in emptying one of his pounds
Of its overnight catch, discovered among
his capuyes a "pig'' fish and a sea bass
united by bit Of ilshing-cord, which he
readily identified as his own.
A hook had penetrated the Jaw of each
fish, and, becoming imbedded there, the
flesh had grown around their barbs and
thus securely fastened them in position.
Thus held together for nearly a twelve.
month they had eoursed the briny in double
team, held 10y single twine, till death cut
their thread Of life IN twain. The skele-
tons Of this curious pair of accidental
Siamese twins, together with the hooks and
line which constituted their sole domestic
tie, now adorn the walls Of the fish house of
Mr., Van Dyke, ON Ocean avenue, opposite
North Bath avenue -LoRg BrWch NcWs.
The Washington critic., 1890-02-24

those other little luxuries OF life which have
grown to he necessities TO you. But Dolo-
res must have her bon-bons aud flowers
and little charity coins also. As | said
before tat jUftia.N
With all my heart uncle" said Paul,
laughing.
And so little Dolores won her cause after
all. She came TO her uncle the next day.
con, uncle ~ she said, "I am SO sorry
told you that about Paul"
"Why, my dearYn asked the Major
because we have talked the matter all
over" said Dolores, "and he is so good.
/ am TO have a regular allowance, all Of my
own. Isn't he splendid! And wouldn't
have him think | complained of him Tor all
the worldln
"Don't be afraid, my dear,n said the
Major. at shall be state secret between
us two forever and day. Aud you are
sure you're quite happy now"
"Oh, yes, quite" declared Dolores, with
emphasis.
But she did not know that Uncle Gerald
was the Magician who had wrought this
wonderful change. York Ledger.
The Washington critic., 1890-02-24
1NGERsoLLs BPIGRAMs.

Oh, what an orator is love What honeyed
words run over the rose of his lips!
Epithets are SO cheap that you can make
money on lies at 80 cents a hundred.
People who are fond of music are some-
times dangerous.
think any woman in the world is repaid
for an ordinary breach Of promise by being
taken to hear Wagner's music
III go as far as anyone to whip naked
through the world the man who deceives a
good, pure and confiding woman.
Every heart is like theatre in one re-
spect; there are certain effects produced.
but you don't want every one to see all the
ropes and pulleys.
The woman who marries O man because
he is rich, or for title, or for Office, place
or power, is not virtuous woman, and the
man who marrles a woman for any such
reason is not virtuous man, but con
temptible wretch.
When another commits q fault IT is
great dead tree half decayed, bare and
hideous: but when when we do it ourselves,
oh, my God! think of the reasons climbing
around it like thousand clinging vines
covering with soft loveliness every branch
and twig, turning it into beautiful object.
A marriage without love is immoral.
don't care how many forms you go
through, | don't care if all the churches in
the world, united beneath the dome
Heaven, filing all the air with nsense, pro
nounce them welded, If that sweet perfume
called love does not arise there is no MAJ
rilpe
The Washington critic., 1890-02-24
MIR. WARMERS s FALLAOIEs.

Edit0y critic: There is one statement in
Mr., b. II. Warmers letter, published in The
CRITIC Of the 2ist, which should not 20
unchallenged. He says; Thousands of
good citizens live in Washington without
paying dollar in the way Of taxation.n
Now this popular fallacy has 50 often been
exploded that IL is surprising that man so
intelligent as Mr.. Warner should have again
advanced it. AS one of the ''good citizens"
of the class he refers to, desire on their
behalf to resent the unfair charge that we
enjoy the benefits provided by local taxa
tlon without contributing our full share of
such taxation.
BY way of illustration, we would ask
Mr. Warner whether he does not try to
show an investor to whom he wishes to sell
house and lot, in his capacity as real
estate agent or owner, how much interest
or rich profit will remain to the investor
after taxes, insurance, repairs and commits
sions have been paid for? The investor
VIII ask; "But where is the money to come
from for all thisgn Mr.. Warner will saw;
"Why, from the rent, of course.n But the
tenant-the "good citizen" pays the rent,
therefore the good citizen" not only pays
the entire REPAIRS insurance, commission
and taxes on the house he does not own, but.
over and above all these, greater or less
profit or interest to the owner If as THE
CRITIC states, the smaller pieces OF prop
erty are more heavily taxed, in proportion
than the larger, then these "thousands Of
good citizens without real property, who,
as rule, occupy these small houses as
tenants, do. bear taxation, and more than
their just share.
In the same way we pay our share of the
local taxes which are levied ON the grocer,
the market man, the dry goods man, and
every other dealer, not excluding our ever
dear gas company, none of whom ever for
gets to include the taxes they pay in the
price they charge us for the article fur
nished. A "GooD CITIZEN,
February %, 1890.
The Washington critic., 1890-02-24
AGES OF SOME RULERS.

Otho, King of Bavaria, Az years old.
Queen Victoria, 10l years Old with fifty
two years ofreign.
Leo NIL, who is T9i years old, has
reigned nearly twelve years.
Louis, Grand Duke of Russia, 81 Years
old, with twelve years Of reign.
Karl |. of Wurtemberg, G69 years old,
with twenty-five years of reign,
Albert, King of Saxony, Gll years old,
with sixteen years of reign.
Abdul Ilamid, the Sultan, IL years old,
with thirteen years of reign.
Oscar H., King of Sweden, 602 years old,
with seventeen years of reign.
Francis Joseph of Austria, 80 years old,
having reigned forty-one years
Humbert l., King ita,l, rJi years old,
with reign Of nea, ~ Twelve years.
Frederick, Grand Duh, oil paden, G8 wears
old, with thirty-eight years % reign.
Leopold H., King of the Bei Glars. 5i5
years old, having regned tweuty.four
years.
Nicholas, Prince Of Montenegro, IS years
old, with reign of twenty-nine wears.
George, King of Greece a years old.
with reign of twenty-six and one-half
years.
Christian IN, King Of Denmark, is III
years old, with twenty-siX years Of reign,
William H., German Emperor, nearly 81
years old, with year and a-half of reign,
William Ill, King of the Netherlands,
is 722 years old, having reigned forty years.
Alexander ILL.,, Of Russia, is 4II Years
old, with a reign Of eight and three-dulrter
years.
Charles, King of ROumania 5Ol Years
old, with reign Of twenty-five and two
third years since the beginning of his gov
eminent
Carlo !. of Portugal, GO years old, two
months OF reign; Alexander I. of Servla.
l3l years old, nine months of reign, and
Alfonso XIII. of Spain, - years old, with
three apd a-half years of reign.-Aimaaach
de Gdthd,
The Washington critic., 1890-02-24
NETUV or OTP CrIIOOLN

Ona recent occasion Superintendent
Powell publicly stated fact in regard
to the school system of this city which
is of grave significance. He said that
out of school population Of $1,000
there were 33, ,000 pupils in the schools,
TO accommodate whom all available
schoolroom was severely oyertaXed
and iujuriously ovcrcrowded. Toe
meaning Of this statement is that, in
the District of Columbia, there are 49,
eco children for whom no public
schooling is provided, and that for
many thousands Of those who have
b. en- admitted to the schools the pro-
vision is altogether inadequate.
Our neighbor and esteemed contem-
porary, the S0adag Gd.citc, yesterday
published number of interesting later
views with members of the Board of
Trustees in regard to this matter. They
all complain of lack of school accom-
modations. This lack was so pressing
last year that S1i.S32 was paid for
twentyfour rented buildings and thirty
eight rooms necessarily ill.fitted for
school work. Notwithstanding the ad.
ditional room thus secured. over 200
could be accommodated for only half
day tuition.
The High School is so overcrowded
that there, too, half day tuition has to
be adopted to a considerable extent. TO
relieve the pressure on this institution
1t is proposed to erect two additional
High Schools--one in West and the
other in East Washington This relief.
however, cannot Immediately be effected
for lack of funds
In addition many of the older school
houses and all the rented buildings are
ill-ventilated, defective in plumbing
and sewerage and detrimental to health.
Yet, in full view of all these facts
the District Appropriation bill as passed
by the House allows for new sites and
schoolhouses $4,000 less than last
year, the trouble being that as the need
increases the appropriation diminishcs.
ny NOi5 5ltno SllONlu Ntul Ill IIlS
piggardly fashion with the schools of
the District passes comprehension.
Economy is commendable, and ii is the
duty of Congressman to scrutinize
closely every scheme that threatens to
depletc the Treasury. But schools are
not questionable schemes. The schools
of the District largely depend for their
efficiency on the liberality of Congress,
and they are at least entitled to a Just
support.
The only resource left to remedy the
evil state of things referred to and to
increase the appropriation is an appeal
to the Senate for an amendment of the
bill. This appeal is to he made, and il
is to he hoped that it will prove sue
cessiul. The Senate does not need TO
be told that money spent on schools is
money well expended Education is
not only necessity of our time, but
against the evils that loom up threaten
ingly over the horizon of modern civil
ization the free scope of a wider and
more general education is the only de-
fensc in sight.
The Washington critic., 1890-02-24
LIVELY TIMES AT BULLS HEAD.

f. Welch went to Canada this week after
load of horses.
Irving Rikert auctioned off a portion of
his stock Tuesday
c. Piester is preparing to move to Mill
brook as soon as the roads are passable.
?. Tremper and S. DeGarmo of Rhine
beck attended the reading school in this
place Saturday night. Come again, boys,
and bring out load.
A number attended the private dance at
the Masonic Hall, Schultzville, Thursday
night, and returned home when the wee
hours OF morning were approaching.
The reading circle was well attended
Saturday night. Numerous selections were
read and sung. The Journal, edited by
Miss Belle Stewart, was, as usual, the prin-
cipal feature of the evening. It was pro
nounced one of the best. Tie Journal this
week Will be edited by Miss Mary Piester,
which is enough to oinsurea good one. Come
one, come all.-POughkeepSte NeCs Press.
The Washington critic., 1890-02-24

tcries has been arrested the Police
Court was held to have Jurisdiction.
On demand for q Jury trial, which
that court is not empowered to grant.
the case N'as sent 10 the grand jury and
remained buried there.
Now it is thought that under section
7G3 Of the Revised Statutes any Judge
Of the Supreme Court may exercise
original jurisdiction and hold lottery
agent to trial.
An arrest is to be made which will be
regarded rs a test case. 1fit IS success.
full the gratitude Of this community
will be due to the police for their intel
ligencc and zeal in the matter.
The Washington critic., 1890-02-24
HE GOT HIS REWARD

Charlie Hutchinson is genius, says the
Tacoma Ledgcr, but his talents are not of a
desirable kind. Ho believes that he can
live without working, and he will undoubt-
edly succeed. He conceived a novel plan
yesterday for making few weeks board
by collecting a reward for stolen clothes.
The only drawback to the scheme was that
he did not know where there. was any
stolen clothes on which a reward was Of
fered for their return, nor did he know of
anyone whom he could get to steal goods
that he might return.
While in quandary as to how he would
make the plan work, Charlie's genius came
to his relief 1t was happy thought for
the young Napoleon; he would steal some
thing himself and then return II and collect
the reward. To think with him is to act.
In few minutes he was n bold robber and
had possession Of his booty. He had gone
to the City of Paris clothing store, taken n.
handsome brown suit of clothes, escaped
with the prize, and would soon deliver it to
the authorities and collect the reward for
his vigilance and honesty. In the mean
time the proprietors of the store discovered
their loss and sent clerk to police head
quarters to report the theft and give de-
scription Of the stolen suit of clothes.
While the clerk was giving his description
honest Charlie came in with the suit, and,
handing the bundle to Chief Chesney, said
triumphantly:
"Here they ares
Where did you get them ?" asked the
chief.
"Took them from the thief, aud want
my reward.i
"Well but where is the thief? Why
didn't you bring him also ?"
''Oh. Pm the thief. / stole the goods
myself and have just returned them for the
reward" said Charlie, getting eloquent
"You are an houest and brave man, and
I'll reward you by giving you board and
lodging till Monday in my hotel here.
think Justice Patrick will give you the
position Of chief shoveler on the chain
gang.n
The Washington critic., 1890-02-24
ST. MARTINS LANE.

st. Martins Lane winds up the hill
And trends devious way;
| walk therein amid the din
=. or busy London day
walk where wealth and squalor meet,
And think upon time
When others tTod this sanity sod
And heard St. Martins chime.
But when those solemn bells invoke
The midnight's slumbrous grace,
The ghosts of men come back again
To haunt that curious place;
The ghosts of sages, poets, wits
Come back in goodly train,
And all night long with mirth and song
They walk ST. Martins Lane.
There's Jerrold paired with Thackeray-
Maginn and Thomas Moore,
And here and there and everywhere
Fraserians by the score;
And one wee ghost that climbs the hill
Is welcomed with a shout
No king could be revered as he,
The p0dre, Father Prout!
They banter up and down the street
And clamor at the door
OF yonder inn, Which once has been
The scene of mrth galore;
10 now II loueiy, uusVy smell,
Deserted, like to fall;
And echo mocks their ghostly knocks
And iterates their call.
Come back, thou ghost Of ruddy host!
From Pluto's misty shore
Renew tonight the Keen delight
or by-gone years once more;
Brew for this merry, motley horde,
And serve the steaming cheer,
And grant that may lurk hard by
To see the mirth, and hear
All mel | dream what things may seem
To Others childish vain,
Aud yet at night It's my delight
To walk St. Martins Lane;
For, in the light of other days,
walk with those love.
And, all the time, 81. Martins chime
Makes piteous moan above.
Eugene Fcld.
The Washington critic., 1890-02-24
uR. FoULKE NOT 4 FIcr0B

newspaper writer in sketch of Mr.,
William Dudley Foulke of Richmond Ind,
says that che was more than once possi-
BILE Gubernatorial factor, and the Burnt
district often discussed him as an availa-
BILE man to fill General Tom Brownies seat
in Congress-
An old Indianian, who read these two
statements, said
"That's all nonsense There never has
been time when Mr.. Foulke could by
any chance have become Gubernatorial
factor. There never has been time since
1850 when the Burnt district discussed
anybody in place Of General Tom Browne,
and then that man was not Mr.. Foulke.
He has never been discussed in that ca
pacity at all. The truth is that Mr.. Foulke
is man of only moderate abilities. He is
looked upon in Indiana us crank whose
only title to consideration has been his
wealth. He never had any influence or
standing outside his own county. 1t is
cruelty to animals to besmear him with
such fulsome eulogy. II can only serve
to render him ridiculous. Certainly this ia
another case where one may well pray to
be saved from one's fool frends.n
The Washington critic., 1890-02-24
MRS. LANGTRYS APPEARANCE,

In his last packet of sharps and flats
sent from London by Mr. Eugene Field to
the Chicago Daily Ncws he gives the fol-
lowing bits of information:
Lily Langtry was to have favored the
metropolis with her production of GAS
You Like 1t" last Tuesday night, but she
was conveniently i'll and therefore could
not appear. Thereby hangs tale.
Inc ialr creature expected to give her
production under the auspices of the Prince
Oh wales; that would have insured the
success of her London season, II is under
stoou, however, that the Princess of Wales
intimated that she preferred not to have
ner royal husband figure as the patron OF
the eX-beauty, whereupon the Prince sent
his regrets to Mrs. Langtry. In order.
therefore, to get around the modification
OF having it said that her old patron had
deserted her the polite lady falls III. and
the result is an indefinite postponement of
the production. Now, of course. when the
production is given Mrs. Langtry can say
that the Prince UouH have attended had he
Known positively the date when the pro-
ductfon was to take place. A mighty
shrewd woman is the Jersey Lily
Perhaps you recollect that some years
ago IL was reported in the American papers
that Mrs. Langtry during her Americ an
tour received occasionally hampers of game
from the Prince. This news was artfully
gwen to the press by Mrs. Langtry herself.
put Inc very estimable gentleman who was
her butler at that very time now declares
that Mrs, Langtry received no hamper of
game nor anything else from the Prince
while she was in America.
a friend said to me about year ago:
ne Americans have not yet acquired the
art OF exhibiting an attractive shop-win-
uow." In Europe 1t is different; 1t is all
shop-window, and nothing else. A shop,
dark, badly ventilated, and hardly bic
enough for man to turn around in, will
have front window so pretentious that Won
think IL must be the procm of a storehonse
OF glittering chattels In very many in
stances the stock is all in the window. Upon
the shelves within are pOrtentous boxes, but
they are empty. The clark for there are
no clerks in England) takes what you want
10 Duy from the window; there Is no variety
from which to select; the entire stock Is
made of single samples.
An, well! what is to he expected in a
country where a chemist (drlggist) is a
Ghymist, Where cider is cydcr, where pigs
teet are trotters, where yeast Is balm, where
crackers are biscuits, where shoes are boots.
where to be sick is to be III (home-ill, heart
illY), where wheat is corn, where candy is
lolly, and where humanity grovals and
wallows in abiect aud piteous humiliation
for palry tu'pence?
The Washington critic., 1890-02-24
DODGING TIE LSSrM

In his letter, which appears in ar.
other column, Mr. Warner shows a
marvellous capacity for either miscon.
cciving or evading the point at issue in
the contention about assessments. TINE
CRlTrc maintains that a system of as.
sessment which results in so many AMI
such ralpable inequalities as those
which it ascertained and published In
detail is an unjust system and should
be abolished. That is the sole con
tention.
Mr.. Warner endcavors to cloud
the issue by reference to irrelevant
matters, such as the competency of the
Commissioners, which has not been i'm
pugned, the progress and growing at.
tractiveness of the city, which no one
denies, and the nonintention of wrong
on the part of the individual assessors,
against whom nothing has been alleged.
These things are outside Of the matter
and are not in this discussion at all.
Mr. Warner says ''there has not been,
and there cannot be, any discrimina-
tion in the rating between rich and
poor" OF course, not in the rating for
taxation. but this too, is Irrelevant, for
the question is about assessment.
Again, he says there is no apparent
necessity for additional burdens. THE
CRITIC has not advocated increased
burdens. The amount of taxation will
be the same whether the general assess
ment is fair or unfair, the difference
being that if the rich are assessed at
low rate and the pool at a high rate the
burden of taxation will be uniustly
distributed.
But Mr.. Warner avows himself the
advocate Of low assessments for the
rich who build handsome residences
and improve the city. He gives, ap-
parenuy, unconsciouste testimony in favor
Of THE CRITrc's contention when he
says that large number of property
holders of moderate means with whom
he has had business connection, have
frequently complained to him that
their assessments were too high.
Finally Mr.. Warner avows his oppo-
siiion to change of system aud to
ornament Board of Assessors. What
has been characterized in successive
reports of District Assessors and Com
missioners as an unjust system appears
TO him alto gether lovely, and the re-
form which has been repeatedly recon-
mended by District officials is to him
wholly undesirable. We fear Mr.
Warner ''is joined to his idols" but at
all events he has abandoned the expedl-
ency plea.
The Washington critic., 1890-02-24

In is HTNTED that collusion exists
between the Government and the
Alaska Commercial Company. This
is probably a most unjust iusinuation.
However it is a little singular that this
company, in making its bid of 500, 900
for the seal fisheries, accompanied it
with an unofficial offer "to cover the
highest bid of every other syndicate in
the field. If this is not collision, it is
an exceedingly peculiar business trans
action for the Government of the United
States to participate in