The intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1887-1891, 1890-12-20
OIL the society waz them taken h wa2
unannimuss aganst the ChinCe.


March g, 59.-Mnd Hen IIoller
suffered a crate bio tOda. Won of
over prominent Giiszerns kane intwo
kamp driving a muil wairing a plugg
hiatt. The muil waz knot wairing thee
hiatt, we Good hay Xcused That. II waz
thee mann, who ought too have knone
bettor, thait woar lit. The excight-
ment which ensewed waz fritelul s.
lor time violentZ waz feered. Betior
kouncils prevailed, however, & instid
Off hanging thee mann hee wa2 mCarii
maid too stand upp agin tree with
hiz plngg hiatt on, which WOE shott full
of holes. The bait IL knott so 0rns.
mental az III waz, bntl lit iZ moar u.e
full. being emploid now az u gtrainer
att Duran JO's milk ranch.
Moral ReileXshun:-V Vhenn in Roam do ~
TIL ROamans do.
March u, '59.-Mudd Hen Holler
and Cottonwood Flats haz locked
I0rhs agin. This lime the fite liz abGw
1SlnS All orguU for the skuolhuwse.
Won ide Riley cum over frum the Flats
to0da with blud iuT hiz (obzerve mi
choice OF langwedge-Hez ownli gor
won D and sed that the skeme woz
knot too get the orgun for the skuoj
but for the use of the hi toned member.
OF the Mudd Hen Holler Scsiety OF
Ethickall Culchewer. Thiss waz q
prItty close caul tor MS bntt wee indig.
nantli stood him Oph and denide the
soft impeachment. Az for me | am in
favor OIL the Orgun, but | think the
'hildren sho0d be taught how too pla
oefonr we buy lit. What good liz all
orgun if nobody kan pla ittf This
suggestshun struk the good santZ of
the meeting and the perchis off the
orgun haZ been postpoaned. Thus it,
u tf.at progress is gradually making
progress in theez progressive daze.
Moral RI iiexshun.-5O yearz OIL Uroap IS
worth u sikei off Katia.
March 10, lS59.-The Amache wer
Dramatick Klnb off the Holler iz now
IN the throw off agoni trying too find
pla suitable for thare geenus. The
skeem OIL plaing Oathellow haz been
abandoned as Markuss O'Reilley US
Smith, the CRATE tragidesn, whoo waz
too pla the titul role, haz skipped the
toun, leeving behind him robust
whiski bill at Johnson's place and
Iaking with him the ownli kopy off the
pla in the territori. We air now divid
ed betwean "Ten Mites in Bar Roo,u'
and "Thee Idiot Witness The first
named haz titul thatt wood draw wei
hear, the second liz rather too personal
but is sed too bee skreeming farce.
Moral Rellexshun.-On two eyilz chooze
the eest.
March 5, SO: usd two think that
editurs hadd soft snapp but since I've
ben trying to hold down thee editouria
ehare off thee HOLD Upp I've changed
nj mind. Two da received pome
bi male which knox ami thing | ever
see fer dounrite nOncents. kopi thee
inrst yerce, az Prof. Slick Bill wood sa
Cc|Gandum ct Me,mndum. So gentle
rceder yu kan Sc how | suffur:-
Under II spreading chestnut tree
The village snithy Sands.
The smith stal l~art man Is he,
With strong and sinewy hands,
The muscles on his brawny arms
Stand out like iron bands.
The pome goZ own fer number o
verces and liz sined Amandy Malvint
Jobbins. Off coarse | kant print such
] stuff az thsti inn thee Hold Opp 30
| rote declinin az fOllers:-
DEER AMANDY. yur pome liz abou
thee wurst | ever got stalled on. Tail
| thee fust VERGE. Yu So thee village
| Smithy stands under spreading chest
nut tree Now hoo kares iff Smithy do
stand under tire, specshially chest
nut ire u hoo inn thunder IL Smith,
anihow? He ma bee awl rite fer yu
| becawz yu ma bee masht own hmm
but air the Intelligent reeders off tn
HOld tpp xpectid too talk ami stock inl
Smithy? Knot mutch! Agen, yu speel
| off "iron bands" WHAT air iroI
bands? Ii yu'd sed bras bands Id got
sum cents out off lit. Kno Amandy
yu'r tort IL knot ritin poatry. I'm
poate miself & kalkulate to rum the
poatry department off thee Hold Upp to
suite the hiest siile off thee art"
halt too rite such ss.'kaslik lettur
butt | won't lett mi Subscribers (whel
| gett any)be impozed onu.
Moral R,hsxshun:. Hare of the do
| cures thee blight.
NUGGETS FROM THE GREAT DIVIDE.
1t IL eezy too beet a man att hiz ow
gain il he brags abOwt what cards b
holds. This fabul teeches that lu shul
keep yur ize open aud yur mowth shut
| II a man tellz awl he kuoze it won
bee very long befonr he wont no enney
thing 200 tell.
| llz won thing too gaze att the top
OF mOuntin and another thing to
CLINE npp thsre.
Truth IL like moo sboo,lff yu stretc
lit yur very likely too spoil lit.
The man with candle iu q min
don't IVORY becawz itz a cIowdy da.
A good many men air willing emu
too doc rOng butt tina air knott willin
too be fOwnd owt. This motive IL lik
the governor on an eugin, lit doI
nIake the engin go wright but lit keeeE
i'll from going rong.
itZ fiattering too q father too hav hl
child look like him butt very often II
pretty tuff on the child.
Don't worry wheather the man VIII
sez nice things too yoa means them {
knot. The TACT that he takes the pane
TOO sa them is kompliment. II
houtles haz an AK to grind, but it dor
folio that you must turn the grindstoT
When man thinks that munne wi
bny everything in this world he hs
yeti too tri too buy tru friend, GOO
digestshnn, a cleer Conscience or
sOwnd knights sleep.
The man who seZ nothin and saw
wood ma be a fool ar wiZe man bl
in either kase heZ the boss at hiz buzz
r ness.
Don't worry yourself abowt trubbl,
that may cum but havn't yet arrive
get what good yn kan ont of the wurl
, In a swarm of beck tbare ma be We
, thatz anxshus to sting yu, but he wor
do 1t any quicker becawz yu eat hone
, Thare are fu things scarcer in th
world than truth. If any won asks J
, All impudent questshun ltz eeZier to Ii
. than TO sa "ItZ nun of yur bizness
! PoIight people Ii trum choice, cowar,
, frum necessity, raskals frum pure kus
:, edness.
$ A just man fights agenst big odds
dizziness. ills nabers look Owt onli fl
thcnselYez, whilst he haz an eye
, thare interests. The rusult IL that 'vh
! he don't give ava he is robbed of. III
1 il Il sad but pretty solid fact.
a wiZe man seZ, al vii investigai
and if the skeem IL good won W
. purhaps-." The tool rushes in wha
J.. angels feer to tired, grabs the skeel
, makes il win and beets the wize M
p into the harbor OF sucksess.
It BARNUMs' FIRST WIEfs' rUNERA
4 From the AtchsOn GlObs,I
D The fact that i. 4. Barnum is dyi
l. Al