The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1890-06-10
HUMOROUS.

car Attikumaig, which is now travel
ing over the state stocking lakes anC
streams, was attached to the Crane
Trunk train leaving Lansing west
bound at 10 a. m, Friday. j. w.
Powers was in charge, and, reeogaiz
ing some personal friends in the adj.
joining passenger car, he nodded
quietly to them and invited them into
the Attikumaig, where be explained
the work of the commit sion. He
open d one of the ice boxes and
showed them Il number of cans such
rs are used i the transportation OF
mi k imbe'iued in the ice. Taking a
small lumb.er lie dipped cut a little
If the cOa'ens of one and showed his
visitors abou; 200 wall-eyed pike that
had been Matched only two dafs be-
fore. The fish We're about the size of
a pinhead, but were as active as a lot
OF cricsets
When tie last had inspected it he
handed it back to MIR. Powers, and
just then Grand Army man in full
regalia entered the car. Mr.. Powers
thought he was one of the party and
extended the glass t. him, He took
il. held it up 10 the light as the others
bad done, while don t-mlnO-lI-I-uO
smile pl ,yed over his features. Just
then the train started and the stranger
suddenly said Thanks" and before
anyone realized what was on bis mind
swallowed the contents of The tumbler
at a single gulp and sprang from the
train. The crowd ran out to see him
standing on the platform staring after
the car in open-mouthed astonishment.
Somebody remembered having seen
him gazing into the car as the tumbler
was being passed around, and then
s,me body else remembered that the
liquid in the glass looked very much
like gin.
We'll" said Mr.. Powers, ''he
didn't get as badly left as he might,
Il ter al, for 200 wsll-eyed pike is the
biggest fish dinner for one | ever
Le:rd of"
There was an occurance not long
ago IN the city of Minneapolis, which
well illustrated the making of vir.
ture necessity and profting thereby.
A lady, that whose name there is none
b, tier known in the theatrical world,
was playing an engagement at the
Grand. She stopped, Of course, at
the West. One day she was engaged
in looking over her wardrobe, or a
portion of it, in her room, and being
busy bad her luncheon sent to her
room. When it came her stage dia-
monds, made of the purest paste, were
scattered about on the table, among
them being a large cross. heavily set
with sparkling diamonds. 1t caught
the eye of the waiter who brought up
the tray, and by a little Juggling with
hi napkin he secured it. He rushed
down town as soon as possible, to,
in ulgar parlance, 'hock" it, but
found that he could raise 80 cents on
it. He was a smooth guy so he
FASTENED hack to the hotel, only to
find that the lady had departed for
the matinee performance. To the
theatre he went, and, securing adj
mission at the stage entrance on
pressing business from Miss -.
- hotel" he found the lady and
restored to her the diamond cross,
which, he plausibly set forth, had be-
come enIsngled in napkin. She had
never even missed the ointment, but
she was se delighted with the fellow s
honesty that she bestowed on him a
So bill. This is a true story, and one
which will not be Incorporated among
those in the Sunday school books un-
der the title, The Rewar of Hon
esty."
Zone col" he brusquely anaoun-
ced as he entered gents furnishing
store on upper Broadway.
Cert replied the girl in attend
ance as she took down a collar and
"laPPVu IL up
'Much p he gueried as he toyed
with a silver piece.
''Quar. dol, she answered, as she
gave him the change.
go. X" he said as he turnedaway.
Trails" she replied as she went
back to finish waiting on the old man
who had haep lOokinO at neckties
what sort O language do yeu call
that ?" he asked.
Shorthand, SIR
"Oh. that's it Sort o saves your
brerth, doesn't it ?''
Course"
"Well, L don't think l could ever
get used to it at my age. 1t don't ex-
press enough
''How ?"
"Why, land o love, | want to say to
IL II