The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1890-07-25
A MAN WITHOUT A FRIEND.
President Hsrrisea . Uaivsnal Butt fos
Jokes.

-
Jokes.
From the New York Times.
Three gentlemen seated about a table
in Delmonico's n Few evenings g at
tracted the attention of other diners In
their part OF the room, not only by fire.
quent bursts of half-suppressed laughter,
but by the evident enjoyment of two of
he party over q collection of stories re-
lated by the third, who had just returned
from Washington. The were all gentle
men well-known in New York life, not
only by their names, hut by their faces,
and the teller Of the stories, a lifelong re-
publican, is n familiar figure from one
end of the country to the other.
"~Somehow," he was saying, ''the stories
one picks up about Washington now are
all directed against poor old Harrison.
The successor of his grandfather is the
worst joked about man i'm the world. Most
of the stories point a moral, too-one, for
instance, about the Indiana republican
who wanted to be appointed a collector of
internal revenue. He had lone good
work for the party, and there was every
reason why he should have the place. In
fact, he had pulled all the wires. and his
appointment was certain. But he was a
nervous sort of fellow, and AS there was a
ottay fe tNkah w WITTY tc tbIktE
he waited the more he worried, until at
length he took a train for Washington to
see Senator ingalls,.
".Well.' said Ingalls,, what are you do
ing here? You ought not TO show your
self in Washington just now. You have a
a sure thing, and all you need Is patience
for a few days
81 know everything onght to be all
right the mar replied, but still I've been
n little uneasy about il. rve been both
cred with the idea that maybe Harrison
intends To appoint some friend of his in
Indiana
".Tben GO right pack home and COM
posey our mind ingalls, replied he hasn't
got one""
zone of the Others broke in after the
laugh: Friends? OF course he hasn't.
He's the only man | ever met who never
made n friend in the whole course of his
life, not even in his own family. He is not
the man to makes friend. He takes no
pleasure in anything but the revised stat
utes of Indiana and the Westminster con-
fession. How could IA a make an honest
friend who believes i'm the damnation of
infants ut this stage of the world?"
"They have n new one," the story-tellcr
continued, ''about a lawyer and his client,
who were travelling in a western train, and
an Indiana postmaster, who fell into con-
versation with hem. The postmaster, of
course, was for the old flag and an appro-
priation every time, and he began talking
about Harrison.
40, he's no good said the client. rs
soon AS Harrison's name was mentionei
If it hadn't been for his grandfather he .
never have been heard off,
IN goodH exclaimed the postmaster.
why, mydcar sir, he is n of the greatest
minds Indiana has ever produced
"'Humbug!' said the client.
"'No huinbug about it, said the enthu-
.s.ass kI-1 - ~. -
He was one of the bravest generals in the
army; n of the greatest soldiers of his
time. In peace he was n giant among
men. The country has never produced a
grander statesman, nor has the Indiana
bar ever seen his equal
~ guess you'd hav hard work to prove
that said the client.
"'No, he wouldn't the lawyer inter
rupted. Easiest thing in the world. Har.
rison admits it!"