Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-03-21
PITII AND POINT.

fllu ANU GUINI.
Dime museum freaks, unlike poets, arc
| not born but made.
"Where are you going, my pretty maidS'
Pm going to sneeze-atchoo,' she said.
-Washtngton Star.
When the -milkmaid is awkward and
fretful the COW generally turn pail
Chicago Sun.
There are several ways to pay bills,
but the majority of the big ones arc paid
with reluctance. -Binghamto Herald.
An ingenious Western man has made
| musical instrument from a corncob Any
one can play by car on it.-!Statesmas.
Hotel Clerk-"Check your grip, sira"
Guest with the influcnza) -"Great
Scott, yes; can you do it3"-Kearney
Enterprise.
When a woman loves n man she goes
the whole hog, even to the wart on his
nose. 1t isn't so with man.-Ehila-
deiphia Inquirer.
First Small Boy---'sWe had a fire ut
our house last night" Second Small
Boy-''That so?" Eyes. Pa fired sisters
beau. "-Boston Courier.
When man gets old we speak of 'shis
declining years." and yet he would
not decline few years if they were Of
fcred to him.-lStdtesman ,
Barber-"Excuse me, sir, but did
cut youG" Victim Feeling the blood
trickle down his check)-''I didn't hear
any firearms go off."-1ime.
"What is swecter than to have friend
you can trust2" asked Sawkins. ITO
have friend who will trust you," re-
piled Dawkins. Hartford Times.
Dir. Crook Ito chum>-"So you've been
getting married to Maria during my ab-
sence? Who was best man?" Woeful
Husband-"N Maria. Pick he Up.
Molly has her sealskin sacque
And Willie las his sled,
But dear papa's pocketbook
Is almost sick abed.
-Kea'ney Enterprise
The poet says that "'Tis love which
makes the world go round" 1t also
makes the young man ego round" quite
frequently Sunday nights. Toledo Com
nercial.
81 will die for you, my darling" he
exclaimed, passionately. "Wil you be
you die, and guess lisa go" said she.
-Someroille Journal.
The weary brain will plot and plan
Some way of duty shirking
It's queer how hard lazy man
VIII work to keep from working.
Washington Capital.
sus-taker-''What is your age,
MADAME" "Ancient Madam-sI am
twenty-one, Sir" Census-taker-
ssDiadam misunderstands me. want to
know your age now. "-Laorence A,neri-
can.
Friend-"You received good mi 5Ea
presents, didn't you2" Bride-"Y -
and just think how nice-most of t{s's'
are from married friends, aud VIC 4 !3
have to give them any in ret -
Yankee Blade. a'
Customer-'I want some steak,
want you to cut all the bone and fad
it before you weigh it." Butcht
'Yes, mum, and wouldn't you like ME to-
carry it to your house and cook it for
you?- Yankee Blade.
Bank Cashicr-"I can't discount that
note unless you get responsible man to
indorse it," Mr.. Bagley-"Say, you
uoht Know OF any responsible man
around here, do you, that wants to in-
dorsc note?"-Judge,
Mine eyes have seen tine coming of the woe.
full Russian grip
1t is going through the country on kind of
flying trip;
1t is sezing all the people just above the
upper lip,
And it still goes sneezing on.
Chicago Tribune.
Kitty-"Why did you accept Mr..
Hautboy2 You surely do not love him,
do you2" Maud-"No; L just became
engaged to him so that he wouldn't have
a chance to propose to Minnie Smith,
whom hate, and who would be sure to
accept him. "-Lawrence american.