Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1890-07-19
WIT AND
So many men are foolish who cam

= aofu 10 De.-dtcHtS0H ttotG
Out West it is cheaper TO travel than
to stay at home.-PHs6urg Dispatch.
The man who thinks he is bright is
seldom inclined to keep il dark
Buffalo Courier.
An Albany paper advertises a rattle
for a COW. Ii will be a m~iik-sbake.-
Troy Telegram.
Don't try to drown yon. sorrows in
t1ag; troubles are great swimmers
dStcilfe Citizen.
so dark and yet 80 light as the
8 can said about his short ton of COAL
1 farUard Lanpoon.
Never place so much confidence in
y Dur minister as TO sleep during the
I" 'rmon -HarUa'd Ldmpoon.
Arthur-"Doo't marry Ella. She is
8 silent as a post" Fred-.Then she
8 just the girl to hitch to."-Detroa
Free Press.
Jack--"WGe you ever crazy with
ioye?' Jim--''Yes. indeed" Jack
What cured you?" Jim-"Marriage."
Boston Courier.
There's 4. piano-pIayer up at Sprigg's
museum WI thout any arms" How does
ne play, with his feet?" "No, by ear"
Musical Goarier.
Il think" said a disappointed and
discouraged actor, that / would have
MADE tire hit of my life by not being
born Washington Post.
II the truth were known many a
b%oastful soldier has never been under
hre except when discharged from the
army. -BingA amton Express.
The EXPIRE ssicn wasn't in it" dates
back TO the food aud referred 60 the
luekless sin ners who were barred out
of the arb. Minneapolis Tribune.
The only genuine original package
was filled. not with liquor, but with
original in. And it is still doing
business "a the old stand.-Rhaadeiphid
Press.
ID 'ytpu believe ia paying as you
go?" asked Hamfattcr of the hotel
clerk. Yes; if you want to take your
lgggr. ge along with you"-N Y.
Herr Nd.
!. Are you Americans still as fond OF
BAH as ever?" Yes. indeed. Why,
all "a best families are adding BALI
roovls to their homes" "Fawncy!"-
Chsater.
Man of the House to the Peddler-
Get out of here or I'll whistle for the
dog well, now. but wouldn't YOU
like to buy q nice vistle - Phaadei.
phta Times.
( Ctraat cor oondno.o. n J.:,1. ~
wonder what that man is running so
o r."-Driver Cooking back)-'Meb-
by the fool wants ter git on; G'lang."
~ y. Weekly.
Il called to see about some verses
called Burning Words | sent heye six
weeks ago" Il remember them.
They were too enthusiastically took
iire."-N. y. Sun.
People never know, either in dis.
puted or other matters, how much
may be said on each side until they
hear two women talking over a fence.
-PhitadeLphta Times.
That champagne" said Bliggins,
lis what | call a nectar fit for the
gods" Maybe; but it's something OF
a mislit for human beings, it strikes
me. - Washington Post.
II hear Jay Gould entertained an
angel unawares the other day" Lucky
for the angel. If Gould had known
who it was he'd have absorbed his
crown and harp."-Lye.
Goethe says life is a quarry out OF
which a man must chisel a character.
Other people will chisel him out of Ii
quick enough if it be for their interest
to do so.-7ezas Si1ings.
Clara (waking)-"whose poem was
Lbat you've just read?" Isabella
"Why. that was Browniug's." Clara
II thought so. | knew it the no.
msnt | fell asleep."-ToW Topics.
Mrs. Baskley-'What's the matter.
Henry? You look Disguised" Bask-
ley-"Why, gave a poor widow $40
On the sly to buy coal with and she
ddu't tell anybody. -Aunsey's Weekly.
''lfyouU 90 to work I'll give you
something to eat" said the kind-heart-
ed woman. II can't follow my pro-
fesSion unless You do" returned tho
tramp, for | am an after-dinner speak
er."-LiJe.
Creditor-"Wheu are rot going to
paw your debts?' '.Debtor-''That's
none of your COMPOUNDED business"
''Ent l need my money" That's
none of my eonfounded business. "
German joke.
Willets-"Whatever became ofyoung
Ponsberry, the poet who used 10 60
around here with his head in the clouds.
Millets-"He is still at it. He is a
circus aeronaut at present. "-Ierre
Hdate Express.
Jiuks-"That young lady may be a
fine pianist, rs you say. but there is no
warmth to her touch" Blinks--.l
guess you didn't hear her play the
Moonlight Symphony" Jinks-"No;
but j squeezed her hapd."-N. Y.
Weekly.
Bank President-''Did you say, Mr..
Bullion. that the young man you
recommended is subject to fits of alb
straction?" Mr.. Bullion-"Yes, &C.
~casionally." Bank President-''Thep
he will not suit US as cashier ."-Hdr.
per's Bazaar.
The man who Is driven to profanity
and drink by over hard work will be q
w~hite-winged soprano in the heavenly
choir when the square. generous gam
bier who never tOiled an hour in his
life is pumping the organ bellows be-
low.-AsAtand Press.
May l have the honor Of this
waltze" -'But don't think / have the
pleasure Of your acquaintance" 20,
yes, trod on your foot about half an
hour since. and / heard you say you
would remember me as long as you
l~ived"-The Jester.
Husband of Authoress-.My dear,
you arc famous now! Your picture Is
IN The newspaper" (Authoress takes
n glance and bursts into tears.)
Husband-''Why. my dear what is the
matter2" Authoress-''The horrid
things have made me with n last years
bop net on."-N. Y. San.
Managing Editor-"What's this,
MIR. ~Scooper? Ten dollars for q mag
nifying glass? sent you to the beach
to write uD the ladies' bathipg dresses