davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wichita eagle., 1890-03-04
LAUGHS FOR LAWYERS.
Pointed Paragraphs ana Anecdotes Abou
Members of the Bar

Pointed Paragraphs ana Anecdotes About
Members of the Bar.
When a certain Judge, well known in Roch-
ester, was young lawyer, the court appoint
ed him counselor for a certain prisoner. re-
Questing him to give the best advice ne could
under the circumstances. he then retired to
an adjoining room for consultation, return
ing alone shortly afterward.
Where is your clientsn asked the nudge
''He has sone," quietly replied the young
lawyer.
Gone! Why, what do you mean, sir
''Why, your honor told me 70 give him the
best advice 1 could, and as he confessed his
guilt, opened the window and advised him
TO jump for his life The prisoner took my
advice and is about two miles from here by
this time or Pm very much mistaken. n-Bos-
ton Budget.
LAW EXAMINATION
ProfeSsor-You are aware that in certain
cases the mother can be guardian of her
children, provided she is of age. Now, can a
grandmother also be guardian.
SUudent--Yes, sir.
Professor Under what conditions,
Student-Proyided she Is Of age.-Paris
Figaro.
4 DIFFERENCE OF OPINION.
An attorney expressing a conflicting opin
ion in a matter under discussion before Judge
Walton was met with this:
"ToH should remember the remark q
Judge Goodeno9 70 Judge Goddard: You
may be right and / may be wrong; but II
opinion is worth more than yours, because
my opinion decides TINS case and yours does
not 'n-Aedalia Times
Wichita eagle., 1890-03-04
SHAKEN OUT or GEAR,

By malarial disease, the human machin-
cry cannot half perform its Office. Diges-
tion, secretion, evacuation are disordered,
the blood becomes watery, the nerves fee
BILE, the countenance ghastly. sleepy dis
turbed and appetite capricious. Terrible
is this disease, fell its consequences. There
is, however, known antidote to the
miasmatic poison. and ii certain safeguard
against it. In malarIous regions of our
south and west, in South America, Guate-
mala and the IsUhmus of Panama, as well
as in tranSmarine countries where the
scourge exists, this inimitable preventive
and remedy, Hostetter's Stomach Bitters,
has, during the last thirty-live years, been
constantly widening the area of Its use
fulness, and demonstrating its sovereign
value. Liver complaint, dyspepsia, con
stipation, kidney trouble, rheumatism
ana debility are all remedied by 1t.
Wichita eagle., 1890-03-04
SCIENCE AND PROGRESS.
CURIOUS PRODUCTS OF NATURE
AND NOTABLE DEVICES OF MAN.
A Surprising and Pretty Experiment
Which Shows That Liquid May Vi
brate and Cause Sound A Genuine
Curiosity in the Vegetable World.

A queer musical instrument, and an expert
ment as surprising in its effects as it is in
Etructive, is described by Professor Mayer,
among various other entertaining expert
ments in his work on the phenomena of sound.
The cut represents glass jar IA bucket will
do as we'll standing in a sink near water
faucet. A tin hageolet, such as may be
bought in the toy shops, has the highest finger
hole IN it closed with wax, as shown in the
cut. All the other holes are left open. a
rubber tube leading FROM the faucet isslipped
over the mouth of the flute. The water is
tur hed on and flows through the tube into the
hu6e and thence out into the Jar.
Wichita eagle., 1890-03-04
HELD BY PATENTS.
The Land Commissioner Decides in Favor
of the Indians Title.

WASHINGTON, March 3.-Commissioner
Croft, of the general land Office, has re
ceived letter from George c. Wooley, of
Springfield, Mo-, attorney for the Atlantic
81 Pacific Railroad company, asking that
the limits of the grant Of the act of July
q, 1885, opposite the line of the road in the
Indian territory, be established, to the end
that the measure or extent of said grant
within the territory be determined. The
act referred to grants to the company GER
tain lands on each side of said road, when
it shall have been constructed through u
state or territory to the lands which. when
lying along the line of the road, the l nited
States has full title. not reserved, sold.
granted or otherwise appropriated and
free from preemption or other claims etc.
The commissioner, in his reply, takes the
ground that the lands claimed could not
have passed by the grant inasnuch as the
title thereto was not in the government,
bat in certain tribes of Indians, who hold
patents thereto; that the lands of the In
dian territory are not subject and are not
situated within a state or territory as con-
templated by the act. The commissioner,
therefore, decides that as there WAS no
grant there could be no losses; conse-
guently no basis for indemnity.
Wichita eagle., 1890-03-04
ASSAULTED IN CHURCH.

ST. LOUIS March 3.-Henry Weber was
arrested for raising a disturbance yester-
day at the Seventh street Colored Meth
odist church Service was being held at
the time Weber, it appears, passed the
church and made some vulgar remarks to
Henry Nelson, colored, who was standing
at the entrance of the church. The color
ed man attempted to avenge the insult.
Weber made for Nelson with a knife. Mel
son backed into the church and was chased
down the aisle by Weber. A scene of ex-
element followed, which was finally end
ed by the arrival of two policemen, who
arrested Weber.
Wichita eagle., 1890-03-04

70 Council Bluffs and Kansas City to sS
for first class and s. second class and all
the other roads have met the cut. which
takes effect tomorrow. This makes the
new rate the same in both directions
THE ROCK ISLAND IN THE FIGHT.
DENVER, Col, March 3.-The Rock
Island has taken the first step in the pas
senger war by announcing rate from Den
yer to Chicago OF S2615 This is a retiue
toinn or $50 and is to go into effect to-
morrow The Missouri Pacific and Alton
have met the cut and it is presumed other
lines viii DO so tomorrow.
Wichita eagle., 1890-03-04

The Cat and the Fox were taking so
ciai stroll together in the forest one day.
discussing TIE traffic II domestic fars,
the probability Of financial panic a-s
predicted bv George Francis Train. .
possible social uprising. etc. when the
Fox sali: Let wLateTer r12y hapPci.
an al night. I've go 1.G9J foEy tric<s
g.-iy Tor 4zy eEsr1ency.
Tie Cas- Pa-lad oas a sylI.skeT. u1edita-
uceiv picking hss tee1h With II; taen,
after paws. she remarked. ''IFelI,
tnev you'd ~ re s4I-e. for ! have oil
one trick 70 rely t.p0n foT safety shou.4
.hev get attsr ne
..s9rrT f9r yo,i. sid he Fox; 4 vvould
reallv iiEe to uescn you one or two d
rline. bat erery one f0- n5nseI noF,
sca AAogF
-..ar az IN. E1s1asnia pzck .. touG.-..
Wichita eagle., 1890-03-04
| Asst OF THE GANG

FIT SMITH, Ark, March 3.-Deputy 3. Mar
shaI Wilson has reached this place from
the Creek nation with Gibson Partridge,
the last of the notorious Wesley Garnets
gang, who is charged with murder and
horse stealing. On Saturday Partridge
was brought 10 bay in the cabin of old
Caesar, Creek medicine man, Oh the
Nerdigris river The marshal and his
posse surrounded the cabin and, after par
Ieying for some time, set fire 90 the build
ing. Just before the roof fell in the des-
perado came out and laid down his arms.
Wichita eagle., 1890-03-04
A RAILWAY OFFICIAL RESIGNS.

ST. LOUIS, Mo, March 3.-President
Winslow. of the st. Lous s. San Francisco
Railroad company, arrived in St. Louis.
Speaking of the Morrill, trouble Mr.. Wins
low said: 'The state of affairs is just this.
For number of months past there has
been conaiderable friction between the
vice president and General Manager Nor
rilL They did not agree aS to the general
policy of the road, and there was continual
clashing. OF course such a state of affairs
was unfortunate and one that could
not fail to be detrimental to the interests
of the road. There can no more be two
heads of q road than TO an army and some
thing had TO De done. On reaching here
found that Mr.. O'Day had handed in his
resignation as vice president, and since
this the resignation has been accepted, and
now Mr.. O'Day is no longer an official of
this road. He could not get along with
Mr.. Morrill,. SO he resigned and it was ac-
cepted. That it is all.
Wichita eagle., 1890-03-04

who belic'.et. II division Of property,
came up on a full cry. The Cat made
use of her single trick and ran up a tree
quicker than lightning calculator could
run up a column of figures; but the Fox,
hesitating which of his 1000 tricks he
would employ, was overtaken and a di-
vision made of his effects Immediately.
Moral: Take a trick when you can
Texas SiftlnGs-
Wichita eagle., 1890-03-04
THE WATER FLUTE.

The jar overfows and the water runs away
down the sides. These things placed in this
manner viii give an experiment showing
that liquid like water may vibrate and
give sound II the flow of water is care
fully regulated and the flute is of the right
pattern, you will hear a low, but distinct.
musical note from the water. Touch the
glass jar and piece of paper laid on the sur
face of the water, and you will feel them
guivering with the vibrations. Here we have
a flute blown by water, under water, and
giving a sound which is caused solely by the
vibrations Of water
Wichita eagle., 1890-03-04
CnT RArES EASTWARD.

KANSAS CITY, Mo. March The cut
passenger rate between this city and Chi
rago announced few days ago by the
Chicago, Milwaukee X st. Paul went into
tffeet today. Competing lines have met
tie cut and ali the roads, the Wabash
II one excepted, announce that on Wednes-
day next they viii sell tickets at the 81 re-
duction- The local east bound passenger
association met today and unanimously
adopted resolution suspending Tor an IN
definite time the rue prUstdiuC "a flue Tor
rate cutting. Ii Is belIevsi that this was
done 10 allow a reduced rate To be made
between this city and st. Louis proportion
ate to that between kau<sss City aud Chit
cago. 1he ~. Louis ,zte Is now s.
first class. The local agents without ex-
ception predict a reduction OF this rate 10
So The Chicago. Milwaukee * ~ Paui
Today announced u rate from Missouri
fis~r points to Chicago proportlonately re-
duced with the cut Of the Kansas CITY
Chicago rate. The rate from Des Noiues-
Ia. being now named Is -.
sLAsgED RATE WESTWARD.
CHICAGO, H., March S.-IEe passenger
rate war that has broken out among the
Missouri river roads IS becoming interesting
10 the travelling public. The Rock Island
has furt her reduced tie rates from Chicago
Wichita eagle., 1890-03-04
A Remarkable Production.

There have been some big stories told by
American cultivators of natures freaks in
way of vegetables, and now we have an Eng.
hsh contribution to swell the list.
The remarkable sample, a genuine one, that
cannot be matched, and shown in the cut here
presented, was dug by an English gardener
.nd originally photographed by The Mark
Lane Express. This is unlike most potatoes
Wichita eagle., 1890-03-04
WEATHER BULLETIN.

SIGNAL OFFICE, WICHITA, Kan. March
g. The highest temperature was % g,
rhe lowest 24o. and the mean A ,, with
fresh to light south winds, shifting at
light to northeasterly; much warmer
cloudless weather, and lower pressure.
Last year on March 3 the highest tenn
perature was 52o. the lowest 500 and the
mean AZ.
FRED L. JOHNSON, Observer
WAR DEPARTMENT. WASHINGTON. ID. c.,
March ;. S D. m Forecast until D. IA.
Tuesday:
For Missouri and Kansas: Fair. easterly
winds, stationary, except in eastern Mis-
souri,, warmer.
Wichita eagle., 1890-03-04
WARMOTH CONFIRMED,

WASHINGTON, March 3. - The senate
spent most of its time in executive session
today discussing the nomination of eX-
Governor Warmoth to be collector of the
port of New Orleans. Senator Eustis, of
Louisiana, was the first speaker. He ap-
proved the committees favorable report
and euogized the nominee highly. He
was followed by Senators Sherman and
Stewart, who opposed the confirmation.
Senator FRYE, chairman of the committee
on commerce, closed the debate and is
said to have made long presentation of
the case in favor of Warmoth. The vote
on confirmation stood, ayes 80, noes "A.
Governor WarHloth received the votes of
all the Republican senators present in the
chamber except those of Sherman, Far
we'll and Wilson, of Iowa. Seyen Demo-
Gratis, led by Mr.. Eustis, also voted for
confirmation.
Wichita eagle., 1890-03-04

"Merrily. merrily. shall live now" the
little girl said. for I'm not to be kept in
because of that horrid neuralgia. My
mamma has bought bottle Of Salvation
Oh from the druggist, and 1t only cost p
cents bottle
New Jersey has Baptist minister who
claims 10 have baptized more people than
any other man in his church. The COM
muuity in which he resides has been
grieved over has stubborn cough that has
interfered with has pastoral duties, i
physician recon- aaended DR.. Bulls Cough
Syrup and consequently there viii be bap-
tism IN bis churcn next sunday.
Wichita eagle., 1890-03-04
TARIFF LITERATURE FOR ALL.

The AEERTcA = FIoTTcTTyE TAHITI LrASrg
L publishing most valuable sefirs II Tariff
documents. Thee are pre- Iisresi = ~ 5 r. y
= state ne fac,s and aTgual' uts for Frpt.c-
ton, whether iu ne interest - fsFfrf -
lahcrers. merchants or professional fGf-n.
EaEH isFEe of tGc ss.Fie= uuusaIs - thf-f en-
FeEsd In separate igcrstre-. af5-i I-Ff'f 'ts ir'-
disptItabie f1cfa-cof1g gssfl-efls ~ TiE's f-f'~f
of Hvlng. and Dtcey ffrS tsaf ii4 snpN - t1Ss
beneisf- ~ Protection.
Any single one wHff- scvt - fsfffps q =
cfut1 D. afLf1Ts except " hEfa- 1itibs and
Tar.E. Whiea .l.l y. sent f-r s7<sslis
The whot. l.-t uiit =. aaut sor - cs-nts Or
ans twelve for ~ cu-s 9r sHT 5se for ~
ceflts, pos.aae pstL orsier ~ DGIStsr.
- yragrs. Il-faz aas Tari-~ ? 4 Hssss
en- s4zasz-s ~ : t---.s-ssl5e Tsrt- =,
tLr t-szsr ed sa.1i.sstFiss - tas Z ni.ssl
ssa firft ifize Iss-y. lss7. CE14
@-"a ael. f-tH -a5 iasils1sa-.sls 4, = 1..,-. .
TFa- LoE fFizss. - ~ k@sufsesafrsi
- fs'gslfssi - ttsr Fsrus< n
'fss srse tarsgrsfs fiasr@
rs t.-r-s s4sIsfrs.sssss-s iarf--s-
t 3 rFu1sr.iss EsrE-.~ f.sst
3 Z. -- ssr i-iss tlatertats f=sssss Frs~ ps-.
a@.-ss - s6 sssfasesszs = TIE r.as.lr
-- 81 go TEifss ~tstrs~
G-~Fs.sll(s - - -. - y = = = (. .isSl@ .
- - TsFiT ~ AZ - bssri
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fs " fsr.J iss ksivsatas-s ~
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- F-.sarrien So ssre'grs8----A fis.efaz-2
s-~ssEH J. fEssarza ar....-..-... ..... -
BE EaszaeF as1 slzs Jar csl ris.zss
Il 800 IS. s'.4ass Tai.l5 - esaE.ss
Il E.-p.7 = ~ .s.s, .szs-, Fr-slI Ir1s- zss,
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y
Wichita eagle., 1890-03-04
Times Cnange.

''Oij Time brings change 10 The sons Of men,"
sung Z little fair haire.. child
"BuC The sudden way 1t comes 70 me-
VII sometime ST me VIZ;
For whether vi5a "a ~ lr2 so,
Wiener abroad roam,
I'm ocly four on TIE railway cars
Tho Il naif- past eight a. ho-as"
Philadelphia Tines
Wichita eagle., 1890-03-04
OHIO RlNER EALING

CNCINNATI. O., March 3.-The river IS
steadily iall nG at the rate Of nearly an
inch an hour ana the railroads that have
been driven from the central union depot
will return TO il tonight or tomorrow. The
weather is warmer but more fair and the
fall will he more and more raptd.
Wichita eagle., 1890-03-04
a MISEP'S DEATH

Fort SCoTT, Kan, March "a few
mouths ago Thomas Corey, so years OF
age, engaged lodging in the boarding house
of a. Majors. Corey had all the habits of
penurious miser. He died yesterday. \
search of his quarters discovered $2S, 600 in
gold. greenbacks and securities. He lett
no will. Majors appeared in court today
and swore that Corey before death had
given TO him and his (Major's) son all his
property Corey has 10 relations so far as
jS EupNyn
Wichita eagle., 1890-03-04
LAKE GOES 10 .IAlI

JACKSON, Miss. Marcn 3.-The supreme
court today affirmed the sentence of the
lower court in the case of Jake kilrain,
which is two months imprisonment in the
county Jail at PuTvis and $50 fine. De-
cision in the Sullivan case VIII be rendered
next Monday. ..
Wichita eagle., 1890-03-04
Pc IYns AunrehensiYe.

''How wouh you Ike to be page in con
gress, Wiilieln said travelling man to bis
son.
Not very well, papa was the reply.
"Why notF'
Because congress might take notion to
turn over new leaf and there's no telling
where it would leave ns. Merchant Trav-
Wichita eagle., 1890-03-04
KNOCKED OUT EASILY.

WASHINGTON, March 3-Ahke Reidy.
known as the hard hitting blacksmith of
this city. easily defeated lack Collins,
champion middie-weight Of Delaware, in IL
prize fight, which took place near this city
this afternoon. Reidy knocked his man
out in TWO rounds. Collins received Sc
we're punishment, while Reidy did not
show a scratch.
Wichita eagle., 1890-03-04

IN that it is e perfect likeness Of mans head.
In most potatoes the eyes are well repre-
sented-too much SO for the thrifty house
keeper; but in tins we have the nose, mouth
and chin (double). The illustration is a cor
rect reproduction of this sample OF the genus
solanum tuberosum, reduced about one-third
Wichita eagle., 1890-03-04
PLAN AND OBJECT

The object of the southwestern branch
as already stated, is TO more particularly
advertise this section than can be done in
the state book, though it is the aim and
intention to cooperate with the state
bureau.
The plan adopted is to issue once
month for three months, and as often
thereafter as the executive committee
deem it advisable, paper, in which each
county holding a membership in this asso-
citation shall be entitled to one page, or as
much space as may hereafter be deter
mined upon by the committee. each county
furnishing its own matter for publication.
The minimum number of copies mas been
placed at 10000 per month, though the
larger counties can subscribe for as
many more as they wish. These
papers will be mailed regularly by
the secretary of the home Office from
specially prepared list of names, the OBJ
ject being to place them in the hands of
such persons in the east as are the most
interested in this class of information. The
cost of publication will be pro rata
cording to population, based upon the
statistics Of the report OF the
department of agriculture for the year
1883 In this way the various counties
are placed upon an equality and the poorer
counties will not be burdened, the larger
counties paying greater assessment for
the same space according to their increased
population.
The territory embraced in the south
western branch comprises twenty-nine
counties lying within the following boun-
diaries: Commencing at the northeast
corner of Barton county, thence running
west on the third standard parallel to the
west line of the state; thence south on the
west state line to the south line of state;
thence east on south line to southeast cor
ner of Barber county; then north to place
of beginning. Every county situated
within these limits is entitled to mem
berSblD
Wichita eagle., 1890-03-04
LIGHT AND AIRY.
Would fou-

He kissed me- Was IL very wrong.
O,rght | to reject his love3 Would yoof
Did such a right 10 him teionEi
know his heart is stog: ard true.
Why did ! even dare TO guess
That he the daring deed "puld dor
Nor could / at the time express
An angry protest. Say, could you'
He Eisseyi I.e. Heaven hide the harm
Our hearts In loves glad mesAes do.
He leaned my head upon his arm,
And I-vould you have kissod him. :oo'
--t,hiCa-l Herald
Wichita eagle., 1890-03-04
c0NnlTlON IiNcHANcr0

WAsEINGTCN. March Sit is ~tatad ny
the attendants at Providers hospital this
AFTERNOON that the condition Of ex- Repre-
sentative Tauibee is substantially IN
changed. He is no worse.
Wichita eagle., 1890-03-04
An Ex,raerdinarr symptom.

First Plysic.sn-Ans u-i4s1sal symptoms
about TIA, has case of yoacs5
Second PhvslCiaEs--X IS. he paid me 6fty
dollars op account yesterday. - G4'nsey 8
eekiy
Wichita eagle., 1890-03-04

8elie tof Bos-oal l--fFe0rge iovss ne truly.
Ne'}-Are you szrsf
BeDs-Iez. indeed Hi lore for me ia -
yos-d Ess-aszErs He aid r. i1Ysd ms bette
lslan Leanz y anlse Bale.
Wichita eagle., 1890-03-04
Beware Of Imitations. there IS Onlr One
I. Z. Il 81 .
Lave Ilas a soaxou /.

Fond lover, wei know you're foIi Of trouble.
This is the season when love proves a bubble.
You find the summer maiden and the weather.
BY some strange magic, both grow cold together.
New York sun
Wichita eagle., 1890-03-04
salL Ed EOS SAVANNAH.

NEW YuE6. March &.-The New York
ana Phi,adelphis Brotherhood teams sail
Ell on the steamer Cnat:shooctee t0iSy for
SavanuaG. where Sbey - into tgalgiug lor
rhe base ball season.
Wichita eagle., 1890-03-04
lie Saw the Point Afterwards.

Mr. HuStler-Yes. Mas Sweet; give all
nav time to my business, aud even tasn Vm
very much pressed.
Miss Sweet-How nice that is.-Tin1s.
Wichita eagle., 1890-03-04
esiy.
Al the Club.

Waiter tst the clutss-Th here's 4 }sdT out
side vino says tha; Err hy.stsai PROMISED %
e hon4e cary tonight
Ali srissas1 -k,xcu-- nse = z.sc-.l -.lt - Boston
E,yt.-et
Wichita eagle., 1890-03-04
Why 1t Wss 80 Named.

Miss Dovey-Why is this flower called Q
bachelors button, wonderi
Dir. Singleton Because 10 tdoesnt stay very
long / guess. Lawrence American
Wichita eagle., 1890-03-04

- eoi5 snap vii come along to-nirst-
How 10 yea lTsswf-
'B~saase I an Just zofag cat . ba-s sly
ta1r czs- -Ter E<rk Su1.
Wichita eagle., 1890-03-04
OUR INVENTORY OVER!

inventory Saturday evening we promised
odd GOOCS
and prices them out =
Wichita eagle., 1890-03-04

Boils and sores indicate impurities in
the blood. Ayers Sarsaparilla eradicates
hUmOrS
Wichita eagle., 1890-03-04

IIULD III L 1lUIIlNs
COMMISSIONER CROFT on INDIAN
TERRITORY LAND TITLES.
he Holds that the Indian Lands are
Not Subject to Disposal by
the Government.
The Railroad Passenger Rate War-Cut-
ting and Slashing from Chicago West
ward-The Tendency Downward
Missouri's Treasurer Being Investigated
Rumors Of Defalcation, but Nothing
PositiVe-The Kansas W. G. T. ..
Advocates Loyalty not Seces-
sion-The Base Ball Sit
uatlon Assumes a
New Phase.
Wichita eagle., 1890-03-04

Now is the time to take a good spring
medicine Hoods Sarsaparilla is peculiar
to itself. Try it.
Wichita eagle., 1890-03-04

Nothing equals Ayers Sarsaparilla for
purifying the blood, and as d spring med
iciue.
Wichita eagle., 1890-03-04

- Azr4z - E<fszcEzss = Errk1y yesra1l =.
srs Z siszzzc-asse - az $3.50 - ~,
3 E-es . - ses ssaaaL E4szssss susszs fsss-
E.Ee-T 81 HsFFz ca aszrg sz--Ts "A
fs----tsss 4--z Azz.-l. =. - - g.. So ss4--