St. Landry democrat., 1890-10-11
Improper Names.


until they are fhirly grown up and have
taken upon themselves the characters
features and compiexions which belong lo
them. If this were to become the custom
names would mean something, and one
could guess what manner of man be should
meet when he was promised an introduc
ton to solomon Smith. Now, ten to one,
Solomon, instead of being one of the wis
est men, turns out to be q very insignif-
cant person, blessed with little more wis.
dom than he requires for the eating of
his three meals day, and taking his pro-
per repose at night. Blanche and Lily,
instead Of being fair and graceful, are tw O
muddy looking brunettes Augusta, in
stead of being august and imperial, is a
little thing who comes ust up to your
elbow and Tiny knew-probably hap
cards-was nearly six fee, in height, and
broad in proportion.
Moses, the meek, is arrested and bound
over to keep the peace toward his neigh.
Dor Samson-a colorsd gentleman, who
confesses in open court that he never
was strong enough to fight nobody" And
Faith elopes from her husband, with all
his goods and chastels
who lives alone in the little house yonder
and there was police record OF one Pro-
bity Jack, who was receiver of stolen
goods.
Rose came begging to the door with
whiskyfed breath the other day-a Most
unfragrsnt Rose, who certainly could not
have smelt less sweet By any other name.
Olive Is as fair blonde as ever curled her
golden hair; while lady, rashly chris
tened Dove in her meek babyhood, has
been known to take her husband by the
hair and imprint the impression of her
five sharp nails on his cheek, on &C
casions.
Somehow, one expects more of al Ade-
laide and Maud, Dora and an Estels,
in the way of charms, than they do of
more plainly named ladies'; and when
happy parents name their son George
Washington they ought to take pains to
bring him up accordingly. However, peo-
pie will make mistakes, and the parents
of certain gentleman, once residing in
Newport, provided against many emergen
ces when they christened him julius
Caesar Hector TOBY Slas Downing, which
name he used to below at length outside
his house door on occasions of staying out
late and being in his cups, crying out
"It's me, julius Caesar Hector Toby ST.
las Downing-lemme I'M
One mother, not deeply read, but roman
tic, named her little boy-baby Loshario,
his last name being Gay. However, he
turned out to be one of the most exem-
plary of men in his domestic relations,
though he looked badly in the directory of
his native city, where he was recorded as
"Gay Lothario," and was 60 more affected
by his name than the old colored man
whose master had named him Biolio, but
who never learned how to read in all his
life was by his name.
People accidentally give improper names
to children sometimes. 1t was the grief
of certain poor wa.herwoman's life that
her little girl was named Andrew J ack son,
but she could MT help it. She lisped
dreadfully, and when she carried the babe
to her clergyman to have it baptized, and
he asked her it's name, she meaning to
call it after it's grandmother, Lucy,
whispered:
'Luthy, thir."
To which the clergyman replied, in an
indignant whisper:
'Lucifer! Lucifer! Shockingl I'll
name no child after the Evil One. I'll
name him Andrew jackson u
And Andrew Jack on the girl became in
consequence People can't help such
things, but they ought to think before
they christen as Damon and Pythias two
brothers whose lifes are to be a perpetual
law suit against each other in regard to
their great grandfathers property. New
York Ledger.