davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-04-05
AWAY UP.
A Stranger whose Title Produced Sur
prise In Tennessee.

n stranger WHOSE lltie frouuceu sur
prise In Tennessee.
A dignified looking stranger entered
the ticket office of the st. Louis, Iron
Mountain and Southern railroad yes
terday, and stated that he wished to
purchase tickets for himself and family
to Texas, and also wanted to Sc
cure rates for the transportation of a
carload of household furniture. Col
Harry Wilson waited on the gentleman,
and ascertained that his name was Mar
tin, He negotiated a trade with him
for the tickets, and referred him to the
freight Office on Monroe street for infor-
nation about freight rates.
As the stranger displayed a goodly
role Of Doodle it was incumbent on Col.
Wilson to treat him with the considera-
tion due his importance, and so he told
Billy to take the colonel over and intro
duce him to Mr.. Bartley, and he took
care to lay the accent on the colonel.
Billy got the stranger safely over to
the freight office, and in his politest
manner presented him to Will BARLEY
as follows; "Mr BARLEY, allow me to
Introduce to you Col Martin"
The stranger drew himself up haught-
lily, and striking an attitude, with his
right hand over his left breast pocket,
said: 81 am no colonel, young man; l
am something higher than that"
Excuse me- ] meant to say briga-
der" apologized Billy.
II have a higher title than that" said
the great man.
Billy was equal to the occasion, and
came again with II really meant to say
major general, you know"
He was knocked out again, however
by the supposed officer remarking with
heightened dignity, which, however,
was softened by quiet, amused smile
"You have not got up high enough yet. 81
you must be the commander-in-chiei
Of the army, suggested Billy in a doubt.
ful sort of tone, but the stranger par.
alyzed him by the announcement that
he held a still higher title
Billy was stumped. He thought the dis
| tingutshed visitor was no other than the
president travelling in cog, but he dis.
missed that idea, and then his curiosity
/ got the better of his reverence, and ht
blurted out: "Well, who are you, any
wayf'
The stranger softly replied; Il am q
minister Of the gospel, sir" and Billy
/ tainted dead away, while win BARLEY
made q half rate for the divine on ac
count Of his high title. Memphis Ava
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-04-05

Drafts, fiues and the chimney should
be cleaned at least four times a year.
Consult your insurance policy; read care
fully and fulfill all the conditions. See
if your chimney is up to the required
standard, and that the stove is far enough
from the wall. Know that no sparks
can escape any place, especially where
the pipe enters the chimney 1t will pay.
Have your fire safe! Insurance money
is hard enough to get when all the con
ditions have been justly complied with.
1t is terrible to burn outl II your stove
smokes, find out the reason and stop it.
Good Housekeeping.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-04-05
pAwN N An IrALIAN oAaoaN.

The peari robcd morning shook her garments tree;
In an old garden sown with eglentine
Faint odofa Of the white and saffron rose
Made delicate delight though breeze was none;
And pulsing coolness, gleam Of summer dawn,
Stole like a spirit through the ileH shade
Where starlight wandered with the glow worm
lamp,
Though penced rays shot from the hidden sun,
Set the air trembling with a sense Of bliss,
And every black recess melted 10 gray.
Soft LEAKAGE shot with rose and plumy gold,
Trimmed where the branches touched the pallid
aky
Invites the bird to rise on rested wing
And send his love note In rufied song
To the mates drowsy ear where warm the nest
Lies under blossoms dripping silver dew.
The cypress holds It's warning finger high
And whispers, breathe not now lest the spell
break,
And the earth traneed in beauty, drugged VITA
sleep,
Arouse itself to ancient pain and lossi"
But as the pale blurred morning turned 70 gold.
There started from the shade Of hoary trees
Half moldered statues round hoary fount--
Like harlequin tossing crystal plume,
muse with brows august and tragic mask.
Laocoon enwreathed in snaky folds,
And the great archer with his lifted dart
Aimed at the breast Of hapless Hiobei
And then the maglaof the dawn was ned,
And day put on It's old relentless face.
Boston Transcript
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-04-05

Good old days, how We miss Youl Days
when a lie was lie, when taking money
not your own was stealing, when people
went TO church on Sunday rather than to
baseball, and when people paid their debts
and forgot to slander neighbors or desert
friends.
Nothing on the fam pays better than
a good garden. It furnishes fresh fruits
and vegetables and promotes health.
One hundred fowls will produce ma
nure enough when carefully saved, to top
dress one acre of grass or fertilize two
acres of corn.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-04-05

The citizens Of Woodruff, s. c., were
startled by the tolling of the Baptist
church bell and upon inquiry could not
learn the cause of it. Various rumors
were set afloat as to why it should be
rung, but no one could give satisfao-
tory reason. After hesitating good
while some one, with more nerve than
the others, entered the belfry and found
a young white boy, named James Oar
win, tolling away as solemnly as the sex
ton would for funeral He was asked
why he was doing 80, and his reply vast
THAT his fathers dog had just died, and
he had instructed him to go and toll the
bell to announce the sad news TO the citi-
zens of the town. New York CONNER.
cial Advertiser.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-04-05

An old lady, laden with bundles. stood
In the aisle, weary and almost Ill with
fatigue. Close by her sat big brute,
spread out comfortably and complacent-
ly over the space that two people could
easily occupy and refusing to bulge an
inch when the lady mildly looked with
longing eyes upon the seat. Everybody
glared ut him, but he took no notice Of
that; there were muttered words OF dis
approval, but he paid no attention TO
those. At last Mr.. SOthern, with one Of
those Lord Chumley stares, so full Of in
nocence and simple good nature, leaned
over from the strap on which he hung
and in a very audible stage whisper in
quired: Excuse me, s-s-sir, but would
you kindly t-t-tell me what k-k.ind Of
nerve tonic you use?" Even the roar Of
laughter which followed in the car did
not bring wrinkle to the mildly beam
ing face of Lord Chumley, but it did
make the old hog leave his seat and the
car. Exchange.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-04-05
He Achieved Grantnan..

Miss Redingote-No, Aunt Brindle, l
am not engaged. When I marry 1t win
be great man.
Mrs, Brindle (doubtfully)-Well. l dun
no. You can't always tell how a man
will turn out. Now, there's Josiah
Miss Redingote-You don't mean to
say Uncle Brindle has ever distinguished
himselfl
Mrs. Brindle-Well, I'll tell you what
he did, / sent him down to the store
with a ribbon the other day and he
matched it!-Lippincott's
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-04-05
Natnre In CnnvnInInn

quRkss are awfully and tremendously picture
sque but scarcely desirable to emul ate In action
and effect by the administration of remedies
which produce cenvulsiOn and agony in the
abnormal portion Of the human frame Such Il
the effect OF the old fashioned violent purRativeE
happily falling more ana more into diBuse, and
Of which HOgtetteF'a Stomach Bitters is the
wholesome, pleasant and far more effective
suecedaneums They weakened the intestines-
the Bitters invigOrRtes them. They left the
bowels inaetiYe, because ineapacitsted by ensu.
ing feebleness. The Bitters, on the contrary
and ecAuse 1t enables, not forces, them to act
= vast and fortunate dlterence-perpetuate atel
their activity and regularity. The liver 10 bene
rclally stimulated, as the kidneys also are by
this medicine, which easily conquers, also
malaria, nervousness and rheumatism.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-04-05

- 3''lI'IlV9 O"IltAInIlI tIa AIphah1I.
Noticing in one Of your recent Issues q
short paragraph relative TO the ahortsst
sentence in the English language CON
taining all the letters Of the alphabet, /
would like 10 submit the following
J. ,. Grave, pack With my bon ain doaen Qoni..
The above sentence contains thirty
four leftsTs and ten words oRly.-o1E
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-04-05

Don't make the morning foggy and
she night hazY By Anding fault.
-Genius don't live on dry bread and
water, In = garret, ever assuming the
goggles of insanity.
If counting be a fraud, in which each
dsoeives the other, and the parents and
friends deceive both, You must not make
faces and growl At marriage being q
failure"
Don't Invest In lottery. Don't en-.
courage swlndling. Don't concede that
you are willing 10 receive what you hays
not honestly earned.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-04-05
Getting 1t Fine.

A loose horse ON highway in Ontario
was chased by dog. The horse ran
into farmyard and knocked down q
calf and broke its leg. The owner of the
calf seized the horse, and the owner OF
horse sued the owner of the dog, and q
hired man ten miles away who left q
gate open by which the horse got into
the road had to pay $s8. Fres
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-04-05

Your distressing cough can be cured. We
know il because Kemp's. Balsam within the
past few years has cured so many coughs
and colds in this community. Its remarka.
bic sale has been won entirely by its genu.
inc merit. Ask some friend who has used
it what he thinks of Kemp's Balsam. There
is no medicine so pure, none so effective
Large bottles SOC and $1.00 at all druggists
Sample bottle free
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-04-05

We have a speedy and positive cure for
Satarrh, diphtheria, oanker, moth, and
headache, in Shiloh's Catarrh Remedy. A
Nasal Injector free with each bottle Use
nj you desire nealth and sweet breath.
Price % cents. Sold at Bierys' or Thomas
drug store.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-04-05
FORCED to Leave Horne.

Over 60 people were forced to leave their
homes yesterday TO call for free trial pack
age of Lanes Family Medicine. If your
blood is bad, your liyes and kidneys out of
order, if you are constipated and haye head
ache and an unsightly complexion, don't fail
to call on any druggist to-day for a free
sample of this grand remedy. The ladies
praise it. Everyone likes it. Large sized
package so cents.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-04-05
He Was Mistaken.

A Detroit Pole, who was carrying
home load Of wood on his back, took
the railroad track. He heard the train
coming, but supposed it would stop and
request him to step aside. The first thing
he said when he came down was express
sive of his great surprise that people had
no rights in this country. Free
Press.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-04-05
Answer This Question.

Why do so many people we see around
us seem TO prefer to suffer and he made
miserable by indigestion, constipation,
dizziness, loss Of appetite, coming up of
the food, yellow skin, when for IS cents
we will sell them Shlloh's System VitaliEer,
guaranteed to cure them. Sold at Bery's
or Thomas drug stores.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-04-05
Dropped Dead.

Psychologists estimate that the heart does
100000 pounds Of work each day. No
wonder people drop dead with worn out
hearts. This could be prevented by DIR. Miles
new and great discovery, the New Cure,
Always commence when you first begin to
short OF breath, have W, ak, or smothering
spells, pain or tenderness in side. ete,
Sold at Biery's or Thomas drug store.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-04-05

II your cough keeps you awake and restless by
night, take Ayers Cherry Poetoral and obtain
immediate relief Thisremedy allays inhAmma.
tion, heals the pulmonary organs, induces sleep,
and restores health. The sooner you begin the
better.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-04-05
A Comforting Reelection.

The Dominic (solemnly)-Amid youI
worldliness and recklessness, young
man, bear we'll In mind that all heah Il
grass.
Young Mashemall (rapturou sly Yes
But, thank heavenl some Of 1t goes tc
grass MISUNDERSTANDING Bulletin.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-04-05

Mr.. A. N. Hazen, Washington, d. o., says the
famous Red Flag OIL is perfect family medi-
cine and has no equal for Rheumatism, NeuFalRa
Sprains Outs, Burns and bodily pain. Price rs
Consumption are:you troubled with this terri
BILE disease, If 90 take healthy exercise, live h
open air, use Puritan Cough and OOnsum ptioD
Cure and be cured, don't delay. Price rs centS
at Thomas drug store.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-04-05
A New Discoverv.

To the liver and bowels, but give no
strength. The more you take the more
You need. Miles Pills positively strength
en-. The longer taken, the less required
Samples free at Biery's or Thcmas' Drug.
Store.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-04-05
Bucklon's ArniOa salve.

The BEST Salve in the world for cuts, bruises
sOres ulcers, salt rheum, fever sores, letter
chapped hands, ehiblains eorns and all skin
ruptions, and positively cures piles, or no pay
equired. IL Is guaranteed to give perfect salts
faction, or money refunded. Price 20 cents pei
box. For sale by REBER druggist.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-04-05
A KILLING cnmnlln,.n,

A little absurdity about a compliment
often gives it point. A Spanish lover 1.
reported to have said to his mistress
LEND me your eyes; want tonight L
kill man. ."-Chambers Journal
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-04-05

The young man who gets smitted with
girl often gets mitten, too.
No species Of honest toll is degrad-
ing. Every task performed because 1t 10
duty, and for others good, is dignifled and
ennoblinR.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-04-05

The bill collectors work is always
dun before he gets his pay.
Liability to unforeseen interruption is
a most annoying liability TO every one
who diligently pursues his vocation in
life.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-04-05
From The German.

Teacher-Can you mention a species
of cold blooded animal which multiplies
with astonishing rapidityI
Son Of Journalist les. the creditor.
That's what pa says.-Texas Siftings.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-04-05

1t must somewhere be written that
the virtues Of mothers shall occasionally be
sited on their children, as well as the sins
fathers.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-04-05

That tried feeling is entirely overcome
by Hoods Sasparillia, which gives feeling
of buoyancy and strength to the whole
system.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-04-05

When a man has a business that
sosen't pay he usually begins to look
around for partner TO share his losses
with him.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-04-05

"A mustard man says that he has not
made his fortune ont of mustard eaten, but
out Of mustard wasted on plates,
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-04-05

Dickens said 'hats" was little word,
bnt IL harbOrs a bundle of associations
akin TO place we all hope to shun.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-04-05

Often the most delicious joys OF life
are those that come upon us unexpect-
edly.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-04-05

Why are ladies good sailorsP Because
they make good mates and can always
command smack.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-04-05

"A man never realizes how little his
word is worth till he receives a black
eye and attempts to explain how he came
by Il.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-04-05
What we Owe the Bows.

Anything new and attractive In Boys & Youths
Suits you are sure TO find hy looking over Onr
new large Spring Stock. Confirmation Suits
great speciality, made in the latest styles and of
the newest fabrics, such as fine COrkScrew, Wide
Vale, WOrsteds and neat Mixtures in ali grades
and at Special Prices.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-04-05

"It must be difficult for two mutes t.
understand each otheTY'
"Oh, no; simply a mutual understand.
ing, New York World.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-04-05
Custom Department.

This department lacks nothing TO satisfy the
tastes and ideas of Tie most ci iitical Of men,
Our line of Spring 1roussrings and Svtitings
is larger and more select than ever seen before.
Everything is in readiness with all the modern
facilities to guarantee unsurpassed workman
ship, ht and finish. A special feature is the
very large assortment OF Styles offered at prices
that will be found biz hly attractive.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-04-05
Mothers. Attention.

Over 5000 Chlldren's Suits now ready. Ages
to is years. our experience in Boys and Little
Boys Clothing shows That IL We can get the at
tenton of the mothers that will crowd our store.
We have pretty and nh" MATERIAL pretty and
novel shapes, and the making credit TO our
Little HOls' Clothing department. We have a
complete line Of 3-I iece suits, and fine selec-
tlOn Of Jersey and Kilt Suits. We start our
ChildrenS Suits from 81 90 up
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-04-05
Indigestion

Is notSonly distressing complaint, OF
itself, but, by causing the blood to
become depraved and the system en-
feebled, is the parent OF innumerable
maladies. That Ayers Sarsaparllla
is the best cure for Indigestion, even
when complicated with Liver Complaint,
is proved by the following testimony
from Mrs Joseph Lake, of Brockway
Centre, Mich.:-
Liver complaint and indigestion
made my life a burden and came near
ending my existence. For more than
four years I suffered untold agony, was
reduced almost to q skeleton, and hardly
lad strength to drag myself abOut.O All
kinds of food distressed me, and only
the most delicate could be digested at
all. Within the time mentioned several
physicians treated me without giving re-
lief Nothing that took seemed to do
any permanent good until commenced
the use Of Ayers Sarsaparilla, which
has produced wonderful results. Soon
after commencing TO take the SarsapR-
rilla / could see an Improvement in my
condition. My appetite began to return
and with it came the ability TO digest
all the food taken, my strength i'm
proved each day, and after few
months OF faithful attention to your
directions, L found myself well
woman, able to attend to all household
duties. The medicine has given me
new lease Of life"
Ayers SarsaparilIa,
. PREPARED RT
Or. J. G. Aver & Co., Lowell, Mass.
Price 81; slI bottles, Is. Worth s6 bottle.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-04-05
A sound Lerni OPINION.

K. cambridge, Munday Esq, County Atty,
Clay Co.. Tex. says; Have used Electric Bit
ters with most happy results. My brother also
was very low with Malarial Fever and Jaundice,
but was cured by timely use of this medicine,
Am satisfied Electric Bitters saved his life,"
Mr.. d. /. WilcovsOn, Of Horse Gave, KY. adds
a like testimony saying He positively believes
that he would have died, had II not been for
EleCtrl Bitters.
This great remedy win ward of, as well as cure
an Malarlai Diseases, and for all Kidney, Liver,
and stomach Disorders stands unequaled. Price
% cents and 81 at REBER'S drugstore.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-04-05
From the Nntion,s CAPITAL.

If men are so wicked with religion,
what would they be without it?
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-04-05
Ask Your Friends About 1t.

During cyclone the people are sure
there Is something in the wind.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-04-05
Gents Furnishings.

Our general stock OF Furnishings presents this
season complete assortment in all depart
ments. Every Imaginable article on hand. Per-
cole Shirts, ChevOit Shirts greatest novelty of
the season. S125 and $l.5o; HalfHOSe pair for
25c.; 3 Linen Collars for 2bc. 2 pair Linen Cuffs
for 25c.; Scrlven's Patent Seam Drawers, Auto
matte Wire Buckle Suspenders, Night Robes,
Hersh Bros fine Umbrellas, latest novelties In
Driving Gloves, SILK y Hose Carriers 25c., Cellu-
loid Collars and Cuffs, Jewelry, silk Handker-
chiefs No matter what you want in UNDER
WEAR we have got it.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-04-05
THE CHICAGO, ROCK ISLAND & PACIFIC RAILWAY,

Including
Peora Sale Moline Island
% % Dss esss AN SRs 1SHS
re Fot Repo b the ooSdo
FREE Reclining
Hutehinson Traverses
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1890-04-09
Stanley in the Congo Forest.

Take thick Scotch copse, dripping
with rain; imagine this copse to be a
mere underground, nourished under
the impenetrable shade of ancient trees,
ranging from 100 to 1SO feet high;
briers and thorns abundant, lazy
creeks, meandering through the depths
of the Jungle, and sometimes a deep
affluent of great river. Imagine this
forest and jungle in all stages of decay
and growth-old trees falling, leaning
perilously over, fallen postrate; ants
and insects of all kinds, sizes, and col
ors murmuring around; monkeys and
chimpanzees above, queer noises of
birds and animals, crashes in the jun
gle as troops of elephants rush away;
dwarfs with poisoned arrows securely
hidden behind some buttress or in some
dark recess; strong, brOwn-bodied alb
origines with terribly sharp spears,
standing poised. still as dead stumpS;
rain pattering down on you every other
day in the year; an impure atmosphere.
with its dread consequences, fever and
dysentery; gloom throughout the day,
and darkness almost palpable through
out the night, and then if you will
imagine such forest extending the
entire distance from Plymouth to Peter
head. you will have fair idea fsome of
the inconveniences endured by US from
June % to Dec. 5, 1887 and from June
l, 1888, to the present date, to continue
again from the present date till about
Dec. 10, 1888, when l hoped then to
say a last farewell to the Congo forest.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1890-04-09
our Jim,
His legs wuZ crooked
nL - ,r - -
Three Types OF Drama.

The border drama: II am only
rough fellow Mary. don't wear fine
clothes and use fine words, but
every time your father brought you
here to the mountains I've loved you
Mary. I've none of the airs of that
city chap, Mary, but if faithful heart
and pair of ready hands y
Take me, Bill; I've loved you all
my life.n (Throws herself in his
arms).
The society drama:
Give come to say good-by, Mabel.
I'm going far away. 1 will trouble you
no more, l am going to leave friends,
home, everything, for your sake. /
trust you will be happy without me,
-good-by-n
Starts for door.
Harry"
He pauses.
s'MabelI"
They rush to each other.
Then you love me, after all!''
''Why, of course, you silly boy.
Couldn't you see was only trying to
make you jealous?'
French drama:
without you life would be blank.
I could not live-I would kill himself
You are my all. Your presence has
enthralled me. Say but the word and
I will throw myself at your feet. Say
that blissful word which will make you
mine
But my husband?n
''Oh, he doesn't COUNT - Detroit
Tribune.