The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1890-05-09
WIT AND

A man is happiest when he can for
get all the mean things he knows about
himself.-7roy Press.
1t is for its own interest that a
mortgage should be allowed to run
after it is due.-Rone Sentinel.
1t some poets learn in suffering
what they teach In song" how they
must have suffered!-ITme.
The Government of the tabled ANA
zous is supposed to have been an OH
talk-racy.-BushneU (HV.) Record.
1t is said that a man from the Pine
Tree State a be told by the pitch Of
his voice.-Binghamton Republican.
1t is said that tenors are so conceited
that they will even take base tlattery
to themselves. Baltimore american.
That qnarrelsome Mrs. Pence is
crazy" mo wonder; she was always
giving somebody a piece of her mind"
IN. Y. Sun. 3
1t has been judicially decided that
corn is fuel. The juice of it has long
been known as a great heatcr.-BaHi-
more american. g
1t may be all right to wait for dead
mems Shoes" but it is folly to 90
stamping around barcfooted during the
interval.-Iine.
When a fellow gets mashed on
himself" says a talented Roman, ut
isn't long before he cuts out everybody
else."-Rome Tribune.
An editorial is a Boston paper asks:
..Must the typewriter gop" From its
tone we should judge it was written by
the editors wife.-Phitadetphta Times.
Mrs. Poke-"I wonder why that
chimney doesn't draw" Mr.. Poke
"a suppose, my dear. that it is waiting
brakes Magazine.
McCrackle-''That pair of trousers
reminds me of the condition of affairs
in Europe" McCorkle-"How sop"
McCrackle-"ltha has a worelike aspect"
-Harper's Bazaar. )
Baritone at the piano sings, kiss
me, darling, in the spring." And the
fair accompanist murmurs softly.
Whats the matter with doing it
now?"-Boston Gazette.
"Are you making gratifying progress
in your literary work." 20, yes. I've
got 10 the point now where the editors
will return ms MSS. without my send.
ing stamps.'-7he Epoch.
Somebody estimates that it costs {:
fond father between 81, 900 and IS, 900
to bring up a giri-but, bless you! she's
worth it when she has been brought up
right-SomcruiNe Journal.
Two Rutgers students have been sus.
pended and one expelled for removing
the clapper from the college bell. 1t
couldn't have been the latter that tolled
on them.-Phitadelphia Ledger.
Tubbs-"I'm going to send my poem
to n of the big magazines" Merritt
That's considerable trouble. Why
don't you put it in an envelope and adj
dress it to yourselfP"-N. Y. Sun.
Customer-'I say, uncle, how long
have you had these new-laid eggs In
stockm Rastus-'I dunno ezacsly,
boss. You sees. Use only bcen wu'kin'
heah n month. "-Amcrican Grocer.
Yeast-"What's Smithers playing in
now??" Crimsonbeak - "'Hamlet.'"
''Does he enter into the spirit of the
piece?" 20, yes; he is. taking the part
of the Ghost. -Yonkers Statesman.
The reckless clearing away of forests
in New Hampshire is e%ndangering our
water supply. This is very alarming.
in view Of the fact that our other u b
ply is cut off by law."-LowcN Mai.
Tommy-"Paw, the paper says that
classIcp" NJ. Figg-sA c%lassicp Why ), '
a classic is "a sort of highly respect
able chestnut."-7erre Haute Express.
Teacher Ito dull boy in the class)-
Which New. England State has two
Capitalist" Boy New Hampshire"
Teacher-"Indeed! Name them Row
Capital N and capital Wallpapers
Bazaar.
Gropc-.I found an empty pocket
book to-day" Tope Treat luckf
Where did you find it?n Grope-"In
a beer saloon" Tope-" That's moth
ing; / find one there every night
brakes Magazine.
A Russian Nihilist is now serving
as conductor on a dining-car in this
country. A Nihilist, once he gets
started, is bound to have his ill Of
carnage, and he doesn't caro- whether
he does it with bombshclls or biscuits
= Washington Post.
Lawyer drawing will)-"Your es-
tate is much smaller, sir, than is gen
orally supposed" Sick Man-"Yes;
but keep that quiet until after the
funeral. want q good show of grief.
stricken mourners."-Chdtter.
The present riding habit for ladies
is more becoming than that for gentle.
men," says an exchange. Well. we
would just say SO! The gentlemen's
riding habit, we believe, is to let the
ladies stand up.-Yonkers Statesman.
Mrs. Wickwire-"Of course l have
, my faults and failings, but you should
be the last mar to find them out.
Mr.. Wickwire-"Well. 1 suppose l am,
but it is too late for the knowledge tt
be of any use to me."-7erre Haute Ez.
press.
. What was that awful yellp" sale
Neersight as he walked along the stree
with Sharper who stopped to assist {
3 fallen man to his feet. 20. that wa!
only a banana peal" replied Sharper
who was fond of his little joke.-Bos
ton Post.
Wickwire-"I am glad Nudge ii
about to marry. / hope it will chang.
him. He has been going down hill fol
some time" Mr.. N. Puck-"Hc won
be any more. 1t will be an uphill
q business after he marries."- Terr
d Hautc ErprcsS.
Father" said a Senator's son WIFI
had Just arrived in Washington, II full
y ly realize that l have many shortcom
lngs-" Eyes, and | have no doub
that this is one of them. You are shor
Q and are coming to tell me about it,
" Washington Post.
i Student (writing to his father)-"
!, beg you, dear father, not for a minute
! to think that l need this money to pa,
:. debts with. | give you nv word o
= nonor that l want it only for myself
!, and that there is nc question of debts.
! -FYiegende Btaetter.
"There is one face that is always be
fore me-" said Clarence as he stroke,
the golden locks of his nonth-old wife
!. And that is 49," And the timi,
creature hung her dainty head, Will
the heartlesS wretch whispered: I'M