Morning journal and courier., 1890-04-25
RIGHT.

He-"Am the first man who ever kissed
 youa" She-"You are the first man who ever
 did it right. t."-Terre Haute Express.
 A horse has the advantage over a man in
 one thing. He's worth more after he's broke
 than he was before.-Berkshire News.
 'Thats the fellow I'm laying for," re :
 marked the hen, as her owner came out with
 pan of cornmeal.-Harvard Lampoon. One half of the world does not know how
 the other half lives, and it is just as well Shat it is so, for great deal of scandal is thereby saved.-Boston Courier.
 Girl friend (kissing the bride ecstatically) --Oh, Fan, you did splendidly at the altar, and this is only your second. Bride (compla- oently)--Yes, I've really had very little prac- tice. -Pittsburg Press.
 Mrs. White-"Dr. Jalop's daughter has eloped with Pullman car porter. Isn't il awful" Mrs. Green-"And she always said that wealth had no attraction for her, the
 hypocrite. ."-Boston Transcript.
 "Are you your brothers keepsrs" asked g clerical looking man of an irate citizen. "Faix, an' Oi consider that very imperti- nent question. sir. O'm in charge av the chimpanzee at the parruk. Washington Post.
 "You say you stopped at the Skirate hotel
 all the time you were away! Wasn't the Ulll PIctLJ Alsa AOI Q Ahu Ok youA 1Aoau5s "Oh, not too high. I managed to jump il | without much trouble. ."-Terre Haute Ex. press.
 If there is anything in this world which should be happy it is 1ady's watch. Let time run as it will, the lady's watch cares not. Its only duty in life is to look pretty and to give employment to the watchmaker. Boston Transcript.
 At Midnight's Holy Hour-Maiden Lady Wow! Gracious Me! What in the world
 are you doing therea
 Man Uuder the Bed-If you please ma'am
 I am the man you got the governor to pardon
 out of the pen t'other day. and just thought I would come around and thank ye, ma'am -Terrs Haute Express.
 A Trick of the Trade.-Owner of Premises | (to tenent)-"Now, Jones. you may show me | those rooms that you think need repairing
 Tenent (with alacrity)-"All right. We'll
 begin with" Owner enthusiastically
 "One momenta Is this your baby, Mrs.
 Jonesa What remarkably pretty fellow
 Ootsy, tootsy, pootsy Won't you come and
 sit on my knee, babyl Bless its little bright
 eyes! I'll bs along in 8 minute, MT. Jones. '' gentleman's knee, dearie." (To MT. Jones)-
 sJohn, don't see that there's anything about the house that needs fixing up this spring 30 very badly. ly."-Chicago Tribune. Two men were shaking their fists and in dulging in loud talk on Randolph street, when an officer came along and asked the trouble. "EIe's Dutch, and can't under- stand him" replied one. "He's American, and can't make him out" added the other in German. The officer, who spoke German as we'll as English, talked with both for three or four minutes, and then finally explained to the American: ''He says you bumped against him." "Yes, did, but it was an accident. What does he want" "An
 apology" "Oh, is that alls Why. thought he wanted to borrow some money of me, and was trying to make him understand that hadn't red cent to my name. An apologyi Tell him I'm awfully deeply sorry, 1 and that beg his pardon 10, 900 times over. ' Detroit Free Press.