The Arizona champion., 1890-09-06
euloE.eook VACATION.
How Young Ysrdstlck Made the Most n
 n Poor Thing.

a Poor Thing.
 There is nothing in this world that i, livelier factor in one's happiness than being able to make the most of ! poor thing. And 1t is the happy tenn perament of the imaginative clerk who can not get away for vacation in the mountains or on the shore that enables him to be as serene in his third story back hall bedroom.
 Here he can be In all the resorts in the country in his imagination without leaving the house. We are all well aware that the anticipation of the cir GUS intoxicateS the soul of the small boy much more than the circus itself, and anticipation and imagination are about the same thing. Therefore, the clerk in his imagination enjoys some- thing that can not be clouded by dis appointment, when be fancies the joys of place that he can not visit
 He has guide books and photographs without number, and with these he may we'll murmur, his soul bubbling over with dreamy joy:
 Here am climbing Mt. Whiteface, while sitting on soft bed in my slip pers. can look up to it's grand old bald head on which there are no flies, in any sense, and from the top of 1t en- joy Tahawus and the Druids to my hearts content without feeling that on returning have got to hold on to sap lings and lower myself to it's base like one descending from a burning build ing on rope. If this mountain climb ing gives me huge appetite, l have not got to travel two hours to reach Grizzly Lodge to get meal about three sizes too small for dwarf. As 1t costs nine dollars per week here and S17.5O at the Grizzly Lodge, can not consistent ly feel that l am at all unfortunate in not being able to get away.
 ''At Grizzly Lodge, if you complain of the smallness of the portions, you are told that they are in reality large, but appear diminutive to your vision only because your vision Is acted upon by your gnawing mountain appetite. Therefore, in this house I may enjoy Grizzly Lodge at its best-whfch is the guide-book description, and still be within half block of first-class res- taurant
 'It costs fifteen dollars to travel from Grizzly Lodge to Campobello, but in my hall bedroom l can make the journey in second by turning page. Here am in Campobello in first-class hotel In the guide book-and, looking at the picture, see the wavelets curling like weary tiger lilies beneath the silvery moon. An, the grand old ocean, this is the way like to lay hold of its frothy Oh, ouch, ah-!-!!-l!! Inever thought could split head-board with my knuckles before. How delightful, how picturesque is the grand old sound ing main, when enjoyed in this way, where it's freezing air can't chill you through, and the land breeze can not thrust you into swarm of hungry mos luitoes.
 q tell you Horatio, there is nothing 90 pleasant as a guide book vacation, because there Is no disappointment; you don't have to tip the wait ers, you don't have to sleep in room so narrow that you can not turn over in bed without falling over your trunk, you don't have to at tend to your correspondence by sitting On the bed, having your feet against an elastic wall, and writing on your knee, and you don't have to sleep on g bed that's so uneven that you awake round shouldered and bow-legged.
 I am the old optimist that believes firmly in the guide-book vacation, for 1t stretches through all the year, enables you to paddle among the lilies in De- cember, to catch fish out of season, and shoot in great quantities animals that are really extinct Pray, excuse me, gentle reader, for am an impe- cunioHs dry-goods clerk, and I trem- ble until the very scissors jin- gle in my vest pocket when I think of tomorrow, and the rural mob that swarm the place on every bargain day, and I want to lose myself in the bowling wilderness of the North Woods, and float of into rosy visions to the melody of the sparkling, silvery Ultowana.
 Where the steak Is sweet and tender
 As the lily on the stream,
 Where the lovely maIdens render
 Life rosy pOsy dream.
 Where by Towssrs bark Peruvian
 We at night are not unnerYed,
 Where no hen that's antediluYian
 On the tables ever served
 Where the atmosphere's delicious
 And the views as fine as silk,
 And the cocktails as nutritious
 As the cream upon the milk. R. K. Mumkittrich, in Once Week.