Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1890-11-15
How Bill Nye Spends the Sabbath.


much more earnestness and express.
sion than in the earlier part OF the
night. All the rest OF the people in
the house gradually wake up as be-
gin to get in my more fancy strokes.
By s o'clock everybody is stirring,
and so get up and glided about in
pajamas, which make Inc look almost
like the "Clemenceau Case in search
of an engagement
Mr. Rogers is going TO have me sit
to him in my pajamas for group Of
statuary. He also wishes to model
an iron hitching post from it. will
sit for il now in few days.
On waking | almost at once take TO
my tub and give myself good cold
bath.
then put in my teeth.
After doing some little studies in
chiropody / throw silk-velvet dress
ing gown over my shoulders, and
look AT my bright ard girlish beauty
in a full-length mirror, comparing
the dimpling curves as see them re-
tlected with those shown in the morn
ing paper.
After reading little from the
chess column OF some good author
descend TO the salon and greet my
family smilingly in order 10 open the
day suspiciously. We all then sing
around the parlor organ little pean
entitled, Its funny when you feel
that way
We now go TO the breakfast.room,
where the children are taught TO set
aside the daintiest bits for papa, be-
cause he might die some time and
then il would be life long regret to
those who are spared that they did
not give him the tender part OF the
steer or the second joint OF the
hen.
After breakfast, which consists OF
chops, hashed brown potatoes, muf-
fms, and coffee, preceded by cante.
loupe or baked beans, we proceed TO
quarrel over who shall go to church
and who shall remain at home to
keep the cattle out OF the corn.
We then go to church, those who
can at least, whilst the others remain
and read something that will be i'm.
proving. Sometimes shave
myself on Sunday mornings. Then II
takes me quite while TO get back in
to religious frame OF mind. do
not manage very well in shaving my
self, and people who go by the house
are often attracted by my yells.
go TO church quite regularly and
enjoy the sermon unless IL is too firm
or personal. II IL goes into doctrines
too much | ain apt TO be quite ia
tigued by the end OF the service ON
account OF the mental reservations ]
have made along through IT,
like to go and hear about Gods
love, but am rarely benefited by n
discourse which enlarges upon his
jealousy. When AIN told also that
God spares no pains in getting even
with people, not only do not enjoy
the information, but | would sit up
till late hour at night to doubt IL.
shake with the pastor, and after
suggesting something for him TO
preach about on the following Sab
bath, go home.
In the afternoon go walking II no
one calls. We have dinner mt
o'clock on Sunday, consisting OF
jerked beef smothered In milk gravy.
| This is the remove. For side dishes
we have squash or meat pie. We
sometimes open with soup and then
have clean plates all around. with
jowl and greens, tapering OF with
some kind Of rich pie.
After dinner ! sometimes nap .
little and then fool with the colt.
This is done quietly, however, so as
not to break in upon the devotional
spirit OF the day. After this go for
walk or converse intelligently with
foreign powers who may be visiting
| our shores.
When / walk ] am generally nc
coInpanied by a restless Queen Anne
dog, which precedes ms by about
mile, smelling Of the road to see that
all Is well. He sometimes succeeds In
getting himself disliked by some
other dog and then | can observe the
fight when ] catch up with him.
As the twilight gathers all seem
ready again for more food and we
begin to cIamor for pabulum, keep
ing il up until either square or round
crackers and siDearkase are pro-
duced. These are washed down with
foaming beakers Of sarsapariIla sec.
As the evening lamp IL now lighted,
/ produce some good book or pam
pblet like The Greatest Thing Ira the
World" and read from 1t, occasionally
cutting child In order TO keep every.
thing calm and reposefnl. At9o'clock
the cat is expelled and the sightday
clock is wound up for the week.
Gazing up at the bright cold stars A.
| ter kicking forth the cat, realize
that another Sabbath has been filed
away ia the great big brawny bosom
Of the past, and with little remorse-
ful sigh and an incipient sob when1
think that am not making q better
record, drive a fence nail In over
the door-latch and seek my library
which. On being properly approached
opens and becomes a beautiful
couch. BILL SrE.