St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-02-16
in THE CANDLE LIGHT.

IN The CANDLE LIGHT.
Organization of the Asinine
Association Of Repressed
Reformers Effected.
They Went Out Beyond the
Motor Line to Talk Over
Plans.
Outraged Feelings at Last
Find an Outlet for En-
forced Silence.
49, HERE was a meet
- I'm /EFN ing i'll barn out
M AAb SWfS on the prairie be-
EH1N21Hk NJ yond the motor
V@IS& SS,lhl line Tuesday even
YS ssT;r e chin ! i ss Is
kXMN Among those pres
~ mn ent were: GolIght-
RNRZSMN ~ Morrill,, DIR. Kill
kSIF&MA vington, Pat Glib
NNM VIZ II. bons, nearly all of
Ill A4iRNXAf| the board of trade
GE&NN men. G. j. Buell..
Va DR.. Finnegan, c.
E2~xM[{A d. Mayer, George
Rec SGsA K. Shaw, Sergt.
sET 6TIEA Kirkham and sew
eral others who
stood in the shadow and were not clear
ly revealed by the garish glare of the
tallow candle. The furnishings Of
the assembly hall which shell
tered this most-distinguished gath
erlng were not of the most luXuri-
GUS order. The aforementioned tallow
dip was inserted in knot hole in the
head of barrel. Boxes, barrels and
bales of hay supported the forms of the
most illustrious gentlemen, and as their
faces were turned toward the light they
were seen to be Illuminated as by
light from within, showing the great
ness of the purpose which had brought
them together. Some antiquated cheese
boxes were placed in the inner circle,
but were unoccupied, and it was soon
discovered that they were reserved for
Mayor Babb and DIR. Burreu.
Z. j. Buell. called the meeting to order
and stated the
OBJECT OF THE GATHERING
TO be the formation of the Asinine AS
ISOLATION of depressed ReformerS. In
mellow, dulcet tones the apostle of sim
gle tax dilated upon the fact that nearly
oil hax hcI,l,iac. fI,1h nI,I,iac
OF his dear friends there present were
of benefit to mankind; how these same
friends of his, endeared to him by fellow
feeling, aroused because of their COM
mon miSfortuneS, have been sat upon
heavily by press and people and been
told, metaphorically, to soak their
heads; how the time for organization
had come, when these reformers
must protect themselves, and organize
TO secure such protection. Clarence was
followed by several other speakers, all
in the same strain. They were unani-
mously of the opinion that their
feelings had been wounded, and that
something must be done. This ''some-
thing must be done" seemed to be the
key note to the song OF every man, but
no one had clear idea as to what that
something should be. ''Doc" Kilving-
ton suggested that all who were dissat-
isfied should end their earthly careers
by means of hempen string, aud he
was frowned down for his levity.
Here WIS another golden opportunity
for Clarence j., and he laid hold on it
right tenaciousIy. His idea of what
should be done was to make the
AsININE ASSOCIATION OF DEPRESSED
f+" REFoRMERS
thoroughly respectable organization
first of all. Then he suggested that the
object of its meetings should be to give
every member an opportunity to let
himself loose on his pet theory and to
air. his wrongs, most of which have be-
come badly mildewed, probably for
want of air. No arguments Tin meet
in" should be allowed. All members
would not be compelled to listen at
tentively to every speaker, but listen
they must, and without the privilege of
replying. Herein lay the strong point
of the A, A. of r. R.-every member
would be assured of chance to talk on
his pet scheme, and would be free from
the annoyance Of being told by some
fiippant Objector that he was off his
base.
Quetness then fell upon the gather
ing, broken only by the ticking of the
silent watches of the night. After the
hdN uCllUCJd 1OI IltC
space of three hours and half, j. B.
Bassett was elected chairman to pre-
vent his raising objections to business,
ana p. I'll. Gibbons was chosen secre-
tary, it being explained that no records
of the associations deliberations would
be kept. The voting on members then
began. There were no objections until
the name of
KILylNGTON WAS REACHED.
Some of the members thought that
the smooth health officer had never
been sufficiently abused to entitle him
to membership. doc" was not to be
put down, and he Immediately entered
upon long harangue on the woes of q
health officers existence.
"Have not been walked all over by
the city council, the newspapers and
the people because of my crematory?''
he shouted. Have not been exposed to
the sings and arrows of envious medi-
cal practitioners? Have l not run risks
of DETACHMENT of the person at the hands
OF FiShblatt, Davis, ct alp | insist upon
being given show" and he was given
a show.
The previously-mentioned members
of the board of trade were admitted
unanimously, it being decided that that
highly respectable and thoroughly fos-
SLICED organization must have chance
to be heard without contradiction or die.
There were few murmurs over the
admission of George K. Shaw, but the
consensus of opinion was that he was
crank enough on general principles to
entitle him to membership, even if he
had never received back-handed slap
for his crankism.
Sergeant Kirkham appeared to be not
a universal favOrite, but it was decided
that he
HAD BEEN SUFFICIENTLY ABUSED