Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-01-04
THE TOPICAL TALKER.

Some Foreigners Only Understand ENGLISH
When il suits Them-A Joke on n Dra-
matIst-Three of Kind Beaten.
| THE knowledge of English which some for
eigners profess to possess is amusingly
convenient
The other day an italian fruit yender boarded
an accommodation train on the Fort Wayne
Railroad. He had an immense basket, filed
with bananas, apples and peanuts, which he
wished to set down in the aisle The conduct
or objected, and told him to take the basket to
the baggage car. The Italian did not appear
to understand word the conductor said.
The conductor pointed to the baggage car and
repeated his injunction as the baskets removal
dozen times all to no effect Despairing of
clearing the aisle any other way, the conductor
took the basket and carried it into the baggage
car, the owner following and keeping up tor
rent of protest in soft, rich Italian.
After this the fruit merchant returned to his
seat. 1t was directly in front of me- Two or
three stations nearer town stout little man
with jolly round face of Hibernian cast. en-
tered the car and sat down beside the Italian,
whom he at once addressed with: "How's trade,
Charlie"
''Vera good" replied the Italian, and regu-
lar conversation set in between the two con-
corning the fruit business, weather and other
subjects of interest. The Italian spoke good
English with the usual accent OF his race and
apparently understood every word that was said
to him. 1t was miraculous change.
80
A RAILROAD contractor who usually has sew
eral hundred Hungarians and Italians in
his employ tells me that he has no trouble in
understanding their English nor they his, save
and except on pay days. On those days they re-
lapse into utter ignorance of English; they
forget all the phrases they knew the day be-
fore and can't understand word spoken to
them.
The general reason for this peculiar phenom-
enon is that disputes as to time and pay are
constantly arising on that day between the pay
master and the men. The Hungarians, partic-
ularly, imagine they can get the best of the
paymaster's patience, and get the few cents
which are usually in dispute, as the price of
their silence and departure With some pay
masters they succeed at first. but not for long.
~
CHARLES WYNDHAM, the English comedian,
on the day of his arrival in New York from
London, played a good joke on Bronson
Howard, the dramatist which has Just been
brought to light. Wyndham arrived in New
York att PM, but the steamer was not expected
until o'clock, and went to the matinee that
afternoon to see Shenandoah" Bronson
iOus to know just how good a play he could
write. That same evening Mr.. and Mrs. Wynd-
ham were dined at the Gilsey House by Mr..
and Mrs. Howard. In the course of the con-
versation the subject of new plays came up, and
Mr.. Howard asked Mr. Wyndham to tell him
what was new in the dramatic line on the other
side. The comedian told him about several
plays, and then began to describe one which he
declared to be the most interesting play he had
witnessed in years. ut was q military play"
he said, land there were some charming love
scenes and much excellent comedy in it" He
then described pretty love letter incident of
Shenandoah" and told what lovely situation
it was, and how the audience was |
delighted with it. Bronson Howard |
was dumfounded. His wife could not conceal |
her amazement. Mr.. Wyndham was enthusi- |
astic, and dropped mischievous wink in Mrs. |
Wyndham's direction.
"And the battle scene" he continued. "Oh, |
but it was grand, with the wavering line, the |
broken ranks. the rout, the rally, the turning |
of the tide and the snatching of victory from |
the jaws of defeat"
And the love scenes in the third act" said |
Mrs. Wyndham.
"And the death of the old Generals son In |
the very presence of his father, who fails to
recognize him." exclaimed the comedian.
And the funny Irish sergeant who breaks |
the cups and saucers in the last act" added |
Mrs. Wyndham.
"Why, CharleyI" cried Mrs. Howard.
'My dear fellow" gasped Mr.. Howard, pale |
and anxious.
"oh, but it was beautiful piece of work."
shouted the comedian.
Perfectly 1ovelyr remarked Mrs. wynd-
ham.
what was it called?" the dramatist asked
appealingly.
Shenandoah" ;" was the answer.
That's strange" said Mrs. Howard, ''where
did you see itf'
'At the Twenty-third Street Theater this
afternoon" said the comedian laughing, 'just
after I left the steamer"
You may be sure this explanation pleased
Bronson Howard and his wife. All sorts of
thoughts had been crowding their
heads, but now they saw the whole thing was
only one of Wyndhams little jokes. All Joined
In laughter, and there were fresh congratula-
tions for the author of Shenandoah upon the
enormous success of his play.
So
THREE small boys, two white and one curly
headed negro, were leaning over the rail-
ing of the Sixth street bridge yesterday after
noon when a steamer-I think it was the Katie
Hudson-laden with produce and some passen-
gers came up the river. The boys were still
leaning over the rail when the boat went under
she bridge, and in that pleasant fashion boys of
IN uncultured sort affect, they expectorated
literally 1t is one Of the perils of navigation
IN this harbor.
A stout, broad-shouldered man, in whom
recognized well-known river captain. was
Just abreast Of the boys as they fired at the
steamer. He raised thick. knotty-looking
hand and brought it down with amazing speed
Upon three projecting plateaus of juvenile an
tony. The effect was electrical. May it also
Do salutary.