davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1890-04-23
ARUNDEL TINTED spEcTAcLEs,

The best lense for the money In the country,
and having the advantages Of a proper ADJUST
ment at u price within the reach Of all, there
will DO no necessity for any one using glasses
that are uncomfortable or unsuited 10 their
eyes. We shall be pleased 70 have oil suffering
with any trouble Of the eye, In whatever form,
call and be properly treated, by In ADJUST
MENT and PRICE.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1890-07-24

atoms, SAID !, resumlng the analysis OF
Mrs. Johnson's stomach
MOP" ] heard the policeman remark
in deliberate Yankee tones, "you dom
say SOP
The next moment lay on my back,
gag in my mouth, terribly frightened
and sick at heart. Over me stood the
policeman and the first thing that
functionary did was-looking me
straight in the face-to take off his nose.
He then rid himself of his eyebrows,
hair and cap, and became determined
looking fellow, with the eyes Of a fiend
and the nose of Roman
80 you think" said the metamor-
phosee, in the tones of a gentleman,
"that nothing can save Joe johnson
from the rope? Poor fellow! It does
look like it! But, my dear professor,
Joe johnson is fortunate enough to
have in me devoted friend, as well as
brother. | have undertaken to save
him, and he shall be saved. In order to
accomplish this end it will be necessary
to remove from the face of the earth
not only the stomach of his miserable
wife yonder, but also, my dear pro-
fessor-I am sorry to be obliged to say
it, for believe you were my brothers
teacher and friend-yourself as we'll"
saw that he was in deadly earnest.
'Your death must apparently result
from accidental least so it must seem
to the authorities. My brother is in
Jail and they will not suspect him, and
they certainly will not suspect me-"
What terrible deed was in this brain
hatching-was he going to murder me-?
Was it myself who was going to hang,
instead of Johnson?
No; yes He placed tho line pulley.
like over an arm OF hanging chandelier.
This was altogether too slight support
even for one of my tender frame. 1t
was not to be hanging, then. Under
the weight on the floor he placed a can
of nitro-glycerine; ] recognized the
yellow string: it was fuse, aud it would
burn in sixty minutes. 1t would run
across the marble slab; there was nc
hope of igniting any substance that
would warn my friends.
'Do you begin to SEQ through it?'
asked Joe Johnsons brother.
believe cursed him with my eyes.
l could only breathe through my nos
trils, and great veins were swelling and
growing not in my forehead. Drawing
a match from his pocket, he lighted and
applied it to the fuse; that little tyran'
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1890-07-24
THE DISCONTINUED MAN.
Even the Glories of Heaven Did Not Sat
isfy Ills Fault-Finding Soul.

Even the Glories of Heaven Did Not SAT-
isfy Ills Fault Finding Soul.
Truly was he an honest gentleman,
but hard to live with, and much given
to discomfort and fault-fnding. So it
came to pass that tradesmen were little
inclined to sell him wares. The tailor
would have his doubtlet turned back on
his hands because of a scam, or, bolike,
because the cloth of the cape was not
of Flemish dye, and with his shoon and
hoSen he never was satisfied The cook
because the meat was too much or too
little roasted, or the sauce not to the
masters taste, was sorely troubled, and
the groom was often roundly held to
task on account Of the hides of the
horses. My lady's stomachers and farth-
ingales caused him much vexation Of
spirit, as did his children's garters.
And when he died he went to Heaven, and
st. Peter took from his own stores a
halo and bid him wear it, but, being as
over-particular in Heaven as he had
been on earth, quoth my fine gentle
hereabout? 1t does not fiji me. See you
not it falleth down over my ears? The
gold of the halo wants refurbishing. 1t
looketh for all the world like unto
brass. fear mo it is not of the Tower
stamp deem some low person hath
worn it before and shabied it, and |
came not here to wear what is second
handed" And so he went on complain
ing sore.
TO stop his clatter, which was un.
seemly in Heaven, St. Peter said unto
him: ut is we'll, thou man hard to
please. Thou shalt have thy earthly
frippery." And so the bonnet he had
worn when he was alive was brought
unto him and he was made to don it,
and pitiful sight was he, for in time
his worldly habiliment became old and
tarnished, and sorry saint did he look
like,-The Stranded Humorist
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1890-07-24
HUMOROUS.

--"Ye see Missus Stookey's di'mon's
yit?" Eyes; but b'lieves dey's paste"
"Waal, | shouldn't wondah. Her mans
"a bill-poster, anyhow, ye know."-Har-
per's Bazaar
-Ic-"Wcre you ever in lovc?" She
81 thought ] was once, but since |
have read few of these modern So
ciety novels l have concluded that
wasn't. ."-Terre Haute Express.
--Irate Wife-"Why, in the name of
sense, do you come home at two o'clock
in the morning?' IIighrate Husband
well, fact is, it got so quiet down
street, came home for excitement."-
Light
-He-"I notice you have piano,
Miss Clara?" She-"Oh, yes; but it is
my sister who plays on it-not met
lie (rapturously)-'Clara, love you!
Will you be my wife. Exchange.
Ticket Collector Ito passenger in
frst-class carriage with second-class
ticket)-"Your ticket is second-class,
sir. You must pay the difference" Pas
senger-''The secondclass carriages
were full" Collector-''Yes, but there
was plenty of room third-class." Pas
senger-"Quite so. Pay me the differ
ence and I'll change"
dennis, | hear that you have been
drinking again; if you can't do better |
shall have to let you 60" "Sure, sir,
it was against me will that got off this
time, sir" "Nonsense! no man can do
things against his will" Dennis grasp
ing at straw. Faitn / had brother
who wint to prison against his will
Jury.
First Artist received magrsd-
cent tribute to my skill the othcr day
at the Exhibition" Second Artist-"In-
decd. What was it?" First Artist
you know my picture, "A Storm at
Sea?' Well, man and his wife were
viewing it and overheard the fellow
say: Come away, my dear, that picture
makes me sick '"--America.
Young Lady lat Bird Store)-Has
this parrot any accomplishments?'
Proprietor-"He can speak little, but
he's too old to learn any thing new.
Young Lady (hesitatinsly)-"Would he
initiate any sounds he might hear, such
as a sneeze, or cough, or any thing oi
that kind?" P-oprictor-"No. The
girls were trying the other day to teach
him to initiate the sound of a kiss, but
he wouldn't do it" Young Lady-'Tll
take him. Chicago Tribune.
Drummer (at Moonshineville. Ky.
Good morning, Mr.. Crossroads; how:
business?" Store-keeper( er(disconsolately
Mighty poor, mighty poor. You see
new store started up in opposition t.
me, and of course | couldn't stand that
so Jest give my frien's tn wink, an
they commenced KILN off his custom
ers; but he had more trade than / kal
kerlated on. an wen his customers be
gan to shoot back it made purity ever
fight ard both sides killed each othe
of SO fast that now there amt either o
! Us got any customers IN. y. Weekly
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1890-07-24
PERSONAL AND LITERARY.

-Rosa Bonheur is sixty-seven. Sho
says she still has work enough in her
mind TO nil two lifetimes. She sold her
latest picture for more than $4,000.
More than twelve thousand letters
and manuscripts of John Ericsson, the
great engineer, have been put in the
hands of Colonel w. C. Church to use in
the preparation of his biography.
-Browning's grave was dug close to
the front OF Chauccr's monument, ex-
actly between it and the monument Of
Cowley, in the east aisle of the south
transept of Westminster Abbey, known
as the Poets Corner
Thomas Seymour Denton has in
vented the word ''manuprint," verb, ad-
jective and noun, for work done with a
typewriter. II is at once more accurate
and suggestive than manuscript" for
such work.
The Sultan of Turkey recently sub
mittcd the manuscript of comedy to
Partisan manager under nom de
plume. The play was carefully exam
ined and displayed certain marks of
crude ability, but it's motif was too
Oriental for even the Partisan stage.
"A new letter-press machine for
printing simultaneously in various
colors is now attracting attention in
France. 1t is the invention of Mr..
Stain, of Paris, who has taken out
about forty patents for foreign coun-
tries. 1t is said to be the most prac-
tical apparatus of the kind yet devised
and likely to greatly reduce the cost of
color work.
1t is said that Goethe was victim
of La Grippe. Lewcs, in his biography,
says of the poets last illness that he
had taken cold, and the physician on
arriving ''found him very foverish with
what is known in Wcimer as the merry
Gus fever which acts almost like
pcstilence.
of Zola's new novel, la Bette Hu-
maine," As, 900 copies were sold on the
day of the issue, record that has not
been equaled since the appearance of
Mana" The total number OF books
issued by Charpctier, the publisher,
over Zola's signature IS now 1881, ,000
Besides the profits on these, Zola re-
ceives 81, 600 for every novel published
in feuilleton form before the book is is
sued.
The free public library established
in Baltimore five years ago by Enoch
Pratt at an expense of about S1,250, 900,
is accomplishing great work among
the reading class. Last year the num-
Der of books issued reached 46l $40
Tho rooms are crowded daily, and it has
become great educational force in the
city, being especially valuable to the
poor. Besides the main library, there
are five branches located SO as TO ac-
commodate all sections of the city.
The smallest and daintiest prayer
book in the world is the Finger Prayer
Book" which has just been issued by
the Oxford University Press. 1t is
printed in diamond and brilliant type on
the famous India paper 1t contains
$40 pages ski inches and weighs only
three-quarters of an ounce. 1t is ar
ranged for 1.-The chatelaine, the waist
coat pocket, or the purse" and ranges
in price from 3Scents to $3.50. Though
the paper is exceedingly thin, it is
entirely Opaque, and the type is boauti-
fully clear.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1890-07-24
In W0MAN'S BEHALF.
WOMAN AND THE BALLOT.
Mollie and the Baby"

TUHE:--'' 'Mollie and the Baby"
Dedicated to the Equal Suffrage Clubs of South
Dakota.)
There are patient little women here below,
Whose ms ID husbands to the dramshops GO,
Who would like 10 gently drop
A ballot that should stop
The wrecHing Of their loved ones by this foo.
CHoRUs-Don't you know, don't you know
Where mother ought 10 go
When she's got little family depending on
her so?
She should cast righteous vote,
And her loyalty devote
10 God, and home, and babies don't you know?
There are scores of patient women who, we
know,
Never get but half the wages that man do,
Though their work is done us we'll
And the reason none can tell,
Unless it IS that voters make it so.
CHoRUs-Dont you know, don't you know
Where these women ought TO go
To kill discrimination which is robbing OF them
so!
They should wicld mighty vote
Which would strike ringing note
For equal pay for labor, don't you know
Women pay their share of taxes, don't you
know?
And men hang them when they dare transgras5
the law;
BY a jury ali OF men,
Aud male Judge to condemn,
Women bi ar each burden of the citizen.
CHoRUs--Don't you know. don't you know
Whprn n eho
Since the penalties OF government descend on
woman SO!
They shou grant her every good
With which franchise is imbued,
And make her free and equal, don't you know?
-Ireno G. Adams, in Womans journal.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1890-07-24

that gave man an hour to live, to kill
ponsible terror that, less merciful than
Providence, told a man the second he
was to die, if fright and horror spared
him to himself. Slowly the flames
crept snake-like around the twine.
''In one hour" said the prisoners
brother, ''you will be in Heaven or hell.
will watch with YOU for half an hour,
and the other half you will spend
alone"
He sat down some minutes in chair,
watching the fame. Then he arose and
took piece of porcelain, with the
murderers name thereon, from the
table, and shook his head gloomily
81 am chemist enough to know it is
arsenic" he said. Eyes, those bright,
metallic eyes, betrayal of the guilty!
Science, thou wouldst kill my BROTHER
thou shalt save him. Let me see in
whose hands thou are most powerful.
The half hour wore slowly away Oh,
heavens! What agony did l suffer! Not
for myself, but for my child. The
fuse burned on-on. The half hour is
up The brother of the murderer rises
to GO JOY!
Commit your soul to Gods keeping"
he said. "You hold the evidence of
my brothers. guilt-nothing can save
you now"
With that he turned to take his hat
from off the table covered with the
crimson cloth beneath which hid my
priceless boy. Something attracted his
attention? He held out his hands and
reached forward. | thought he had dis
covered my boy. No; he was lifting
something in either hand-the wires Of
the electric battery. In another instant
my boy had leaped from under the
table, and was turning the crank fast
and furiously.
The murderer's brother was in the
power of my boy. lie could not droT
the wires; he was helpless. How my
boy cried for help! The old college
rang with his voice. The prisoners
brother added his voice to my boys in
his agony. In an instant great length
burned away. 1t would just last fivs
minutes and no morel
Father shouted my boy, 'if no as
sistance comes, this villain must die
with us. l dare not free him. Help
helpl helpl"
Alas! / could not answer him.
Thank Godl But some one else did
The fuse is burned up. The rope is OF
fire = the nitro-glycerinel The dool
opens; Tom Richards, on a midnigh
visit to the sick, has heard the cry; h,
comprehends all; seizes the can in hi
hand, the weight descends indeed, bu
not on the death-dealing oil. No; dow
it goes through the Office foor-down
down, like an evil spirit, to give back
dull metallic echo from the stones o
the cellar beneath.
We are saved.
Joe johnson, the prisoner, wa
hanged, but his brother remains un
punished BY the law, for he stabbe'
himself with a knife and thus escapes
the hangmsn's rope.-Atlanta CoRsti
sution.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1890-07-24
SCHOOL AND CHURCH.

The Methodists in this country
number 100000 actual communi cants.
There are not far from no CONNER
cial and business colleges in this coun-
try, with about 80, 600 students.
The women of Greece have submit
ted to the governmental petition, asking
that as good educational opportunities
be given to the girls of the nation as to
the boys
The mission established in Cuba by
Alberto j. Diaz continues to prosper.
Missionaries, 2l; total membership,
1,7OO Twenty young men are prepar-
ing for the ministry. 1t has become
necessary to organize school for their
instruction.
The Pope has written an appeal to
the German Bishops, urging them to
begin at once crusade in defense OF
society and civilization against the rev.
olutionaary forms OF Socialism. lie
will send, it is said, similar rescripts to
ether nations. s.-Independent
According to the Statistical Year
Book of Germany for 1889, the latest
data on the religious status Of the coun-
try are these: 30, 800, S47 Eyangelicals,
l6, 7S5, 734 Catholics, 125, ,G73 other Chris
tians 563, 172 Jews, 11,27S confessors of
other religions or protesting no religion
at alr.
Two hundred progressive young
women of New Zealand are banded to-
gether in Young Woman's Christian
Temperance Union, two years old, that
has already met with signal success in
connection with various philanthropic
undertakings. 1t does fower-mission
work, hospital visiting, work among
children, sailors and cabmen, holds
singing, sewing and Bible classes.
Christian Weekly.
-Rev. Mr.. John Hall, of New York,
at the recent jubilee anniversary OF tho
Philadelphia Sabbath Association, in
his powerful plea for the Sabbath, said;
The intelligent foreigners whom we
are daily receiving in our midst need
to be influenced in the matter. The
| truth of Sabbath observance must DE
brought homo to their conscience and
judgments Organization is absolutely
necessary to generate this sentiment
and secure its practical enforcement.
What the world needs to-day is not
n mere sentimental or intellectual, but
more practical, every day religion-a
religion the farmer can take with him
into his field, the mechanic into his
shop, the merchant into his store OF
counting-room, and the lawyer or doc
tor into his Office; a religion that will
make men honest and true, and indeed
more OF that pure and undefiled relig
ion which Christ taught and exempli
fled in His life when here on earth. =
| MOrpil
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1890-07-24
One Dollar Per Year.

ardor and zeal with which women have
entered upon intellectual opportunities
will moderate somewhat when the nov
city has passed. A feverish haste for
knowledge is apt to defeat its own end,
and mere attainment is often mistaken
for development There is that in
sound, patient scholarship which acts as
a sedative to the nerves and gives the
calm repose that is based on a con-
sciousness of intellectual vigor and
strength. 1t is this kind OF scholarship
that meets the needs of the women OF
to-day.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1890-07-24

tiveness Of gunpowder, but unlike 1t,
does not explode on the application oil
heat A red-hot coal dropped into IL
will not explode it. 1t will freeze. IL
is yellow and greasy"
s.You don't mean to say So said the
officer, interrupting me in disagreeaoie
tones in the middle of choice extract
from one of my lectures. why, but
YOU haven't told me how it goes oil. II
tbe FIRE won't burst it, what in-(hem)
-will?'
told him If it were pressed, or any
thing fell on it it would explode.
s.Place it under the crusher OF cider
mill strike it with hammer. let
weight fall on it from height
yves. said the man, 'and that roHses
its volcaner. does it?"
II suppose. professor. that ere can
would make mighty big noise If aliowe''
n explode here all at onceg'
III would blow the entire building
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1890-07-24

emu OF The college buildings
Tom was very anxious to know what
would keep me up after twelve o'clock,
so told him was about to commence
analyzing the stomach of Mrs. John
son, whose husband lay in p jail
just across the road from the college,
on suspicion that he was the murderer.
AS Tom was passing out of the col
lege yard through the gate, his head
turned, and bidding me goodnight, he
brushed against a man standing with
his back to the college and his face to
the prison. The street lamp showed
me that the man was in police uniform
Re-cntering my laboratory / took
down glass jar from the shelf and sat
down behind my sink to examine it,
An hour had passed since the departure
to discover traces of the poison in all
this, but had been unsuccessful. Joe
johnson, tho suspected man, had been a
student of mine few years before.
thought him a good-hearted, intelligent
fellow, only little wild, and really be-
Eoh W. hVPt bb0u uC uU plONb III
nocent, when, among the maerated
food, ] came upon asmall, infinitesimal,
white grain. BY careful manipulation
and the use of my magnifying glass,
managed to get this upon a piece of
smoked glass and examined it,
was then certain | had discovered
arsenic, but to make assurance doubly
sure, | determined to apply we'll
known test for that poison.
YES" | exclaimed, as l saw the
fatal blazon, Joe johnson is the mur-
derer OF his wife! With the evidence OF
that mark to back me, no power can
save him."
'Do you really think sop said a
calm voice behind me.
turned quickly and discovered a
tall, lank policeman, having red, watery
eyes, standing at my office door and
staring in. His body looked as il il
had been rolled out long before his
hands, like molasses candy stick. He
had no expression at all in his face, and
his policeman's hat was so large that
it threatened to settle down on his
shoulders. His uniform reassured me-
and addressed him with some impa
tience.
my friend, suppose am wanted to
attend an inquest or what is your pur
pose?"
Twas police surgeon as we'll as coroner
Don't bother, professor; the mar
amt dead yet, but they say he will bt
before morning"
whats the matter with him?"
brain disorder; l mean something
wrong here"
j touched my forehead, and so did he
as he said: Gay. and ! thought I'd drol
in and tell you if you were going to thu
station tomorrow, to take look anC
see If it is post mortem or not. Beside
| wanted to see where | could alway
find you in case OF need"
| bowed, and attributed his visit to
feeling of curiosity. lie sat on the sink
and while his eyes wandered about lilS
one who felt himself called upon to sa,
something, he said:
professor, tnere mas Deeh an dccl
dent this fternoon-terrible, too"
"What was it?'
"Nitro-glycerine explosion up in tn
iron miiis--a hundred fellow mortal
busted"
s'Sadp'
affecting, very." Here he rubbed
his mouth with tho back Of his hand
professor, what is that nitro-glycer
ine?"
'It's very dangerous article" l an
swered, happy to display my knowl
edge. at has nearly twice the destruc
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1890-07-24
CULTURE VS.. CHEEK.
MIR. Golightiy Talks Very Lightly Indeed
on ~ Serious Subject.

MIR. Golightly Talks Very Lightly Indeed
on Serious Subject.
Scene: A corner in a Murray Hill draw
ing room.
Characters: Miss Bunker, a lady from the
classic corridors of Boston
MIR. ,iolghty, "A gentleman from the
wind swept boulcvards of Chi
cago.
Time Evening.
Miss Bunker with refined smile)-
Charming evening, isn't it?
Mr.. Golightly-O | didn't notice any
thing about the evening, except that 1T
was not raining.
Miss B.-But the moon-so exception
ally fine.
Mr.. Go, yes; of course. Fine moon!
Do YOU know, the finest moon ever
saw was one we used in some amateur
thoatrcals out in Chicago-our club,
you know. We made it out of the bot
tom of lard can. Nothing like lard
can for almost any thing.
Miss DO, you have been interested
in amateur theatricals, have you? |
knew you were intelligently inclined.
Do you like poetry?
Mr.. G.-0h! some kinds.
Miss B.-Of course. not all kinds, No
one reads the old style of poetry now
Sad death, that of Browning's, wasn't
it?
Mr.. g. G(toying nervously with mus
tachel-Ycs. very. Lots sec; he was a
relative OF yours, wasn't he?
Miss b. - (embarrassed) oh, no! Dc
you-do you know where they are going
to bury him?
Mr.. G.. (making desperate guess,
consummate sangfroid) Chicago
think. At least, that's what heard.
Miss B.-ludeed? That's singular
It must be so different there from his
beloved Venice.
Mr.. G. (blufing manfully(-O, not 5,
rery different
Miss B, (suspiciously)-H Have you reaC
much of Browning's poetry?
Mr.. q. (nonchalantly)-O, | used t.
read good deal of it when | was hoy
but one soon outgrows him, don't you
know. OF late | haven't been reading
much poetry, except what | see il
Truck. Elegant poetry in Truck, don
You think?
Miss B.-O, red.
MIR. G. tbecominy enthusiastic)-I re
member thing toey had last month
called "a Kiss in tie Kitchen"
Miss Il. (sarcastically)-Must hav
been something like Browning's "Lov
in Balcony" suppose,
Mr.. G.-Just about tho same, only bel
ter. That's where Browning got hi
start writing for Truck. They mad
him. He used to do the
There was young man from Madrid"
kind of work for them. Ten cents
line. Good pay, too.
Miss B.-Really, Mr.. Golightly, ar
you not mistaken in the man?
Mr.. CO, can't be. Father used I
know him well. Loaned him five do
lars once. Browning never paid i
But must go,
Miss B.-.Nust you 90?
Mr.. CO, l must, indeed. I'll sen
you the copy of Truck containing tn;
kiss in the Kitchen" am sure yo
will like it, Beats Browning all no
low. Good evening
Miss B.-Good evening.
Tom Hall in Life.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1890-07-24
UnbearahIe.

Mrs. Uptown-I hate that Mrs. Muir
rayhill!
Mr.. Uptown-Why, my dear, | thought
you we're fond of her.
Mrs. UPTOWN was until she said
her poodle couldn't associate with mine
on account of its superior breeding
Munseys Weekly.