The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1890-07-02

way resembled our good old homes In
America.
While on this little tour of inspec-
ton o very singular occurrence took
place. will relate it for the interest
of those who will take an interest in it..
was walking along the road, quiet
ly watching the birds and trees and
flowers, when L noticed large snake
at the side of the road. Naturally, I
started TO RIM. 1t followed. L had
nothing to kill it with, and / thought
it good idea to let it follow me back
where there were some people to help
with it.
So I started out on little easy trot,
and the snake followed within three
feet of me, but did not offer to spring
at me.
There was a large stone in the path
ahead of me, and when l stepped over
it, in some way / fell so as to sit down
exactly on the stone. The snake was
Just coming over the stone. and L cut
him in two
L don't know but that the jar was
rather severe upon me, but withal /
was very well satisfied, inasmuch as /
was rld OF my tOrmentOr.
decided not to monkey around IN
the country any more, lest were 1 to
again get into such fix providence
might not relieve me as quickly and
curiously as on this occasion. SO /
started right for the ticket window
and arrived there just twenty minutes,
by my Waterbury, before train
would take me to the waters edge.
After purchasing my transportation
and getting myself seated in a comfort
able chair felt better.
lost my hat on the way over, and
asked one of the sailors to Jump
INFO the water and get it for me, but
after he said what do you take me for,
sonny?" in a dangerous tone of voice.
| thought / would come to New York
bareheaded, rather than raise another
kick about it.
An old fellow who seemed to take a
great deal of interest in me offered to
lend me an old hat to wear till / got
where l could buy one, but gave him
such contemptuous glance from my
dark, expressive eyes that he nearly
tainted, and on recovering himself
knocked his hat off and l watched it
leisurely sail down and settle upon the
foaming crest of the deep blue.
He looked sorrowful, and suggested
that he should wear the ole hat he had
offered me.
After this / got a pin and made a
pin-hook out of it, got n spool of thread
and busted myself for the rest of the
forenoon in trying to get the hat
About IL a. m, after the sun had
nearly melted my head L suddenly
thought that perhaps that hat was
1000 leagues away by this time, so 1
went In to battle the feyerish top of my
head.
During my convalescence thought
L would write TO you, dear Mr.. Editor,
so that you might sympathize with me.
You know how it is, brother, when YOU
feel like it will soon be over. You
think of the many little crooked acts
that perhaps yod have never given
consideration before. Perhaps you have
cheated your neighbor out of seventy
five cents. Perhaps YOU have looked
on the wine when it was red. Then
somebody else looked at il and it wasn't
there. Where did it go? This ques-
tiol comes home with striking signif-
canoe.
My fellow men, prepare yourselves
for such emergencies.
thought of my home, of my family,
of the hole my absence would make in
he family circle, of my girl pining
away day by day, losing three pounds
a week; 1 thought of my wife and dear
children. Let me see-did / mention
a girl? 1t was a mistake. What girl
was it
It's hard to tell.
Well, / have got this business all
tangled up. Unjust have little sleep.
Will call again.
JIM BILDAD, the Shuttle.
1t Wasn't Bluff.