The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1890-08-24
a Yum yuM FEAST.

The Kissing Zee Managed by the Sewing
Society Of q Church.
New York Special.
Some of the prettiest girls on Long Island
were ready to be kissed at Is cents head
on Monday, but the officials of the Long
Island Railroad Company were not aware
of the fact, otherwise special trains might
have been run for the occasion. When II
was too late the members of the Presby-
terrain church at Mattituck said that in
stead of adding paitry 500 to their fund
they might have raised enough money TO
build new church. When the Women's
Sewing Society of this church resolved last
winter that any lady who had attained the
age of 16 years should be eligible for MEM
bership, conservative people predicted that
something was going to happen. Village
gossips declare that no sewing society which
did not fix the age limit at least 20 years
higher could be relied upon to conduct IT
self in thoroughly decorous manner. In
spite of these doleful predictions the sew
ing society remained about as dull as
usual, until the project of fair was brought
to the attention of the members. 1t was
decided By an overwhelming majority that
a fair ought to be held, and that the pro-
ceeds thereof should be devoted to the pur-
chase of material to be worked up into
winter clothing for the local INDECENT and
benighted heather. The committee of ar
rangements chosen to plan the details OF
the undertaking proved most progressive.
Early in their deliberations they concluded
that the methods OF extortions hitherto IN
vogue at religious fairs were played out.
Rallies where the unwary masculine
patron, yielding to feminine bland
ishments. PAYS Is cents for q
chance to draw three paper collars.
seemed hardly the ri sht thing. ReDeccas
at the well, iadiing out fluid called
lemonade by courtesy at 10 cents thin
bleful were pronounced obsolete. African
dodgers. who allow the public to throw
three base balls at their heads for cents,
would undoubtedly prove drawing card,
but did not seem quite suited to church
entertainment. After hours OF constant
debate the committee OF arrangements was
still in quandary. The obvious features of
the sale, such as confectionery booths.
flower stands, pin cushion counters, fancy
work tables and wearing apparel empOr-
iums would arrange themselves, but it was
absolutely necessary to provide something
novel which would attract customers and
be talked about. The youngest member of
the committee, a pretty girl OF 10, solved
the problem. she argued that if all the
incest young ladies in the parish would
stand ready to accept the osculatory
saIutes of the gentlemen for q considera-
ton. the latter would simply tumble over
each other in their efforts to get rid of
their money, aud the cause OF charity
would get tremendous boom.
Prudish objections put forward by elder
" ladies who were not likely to be called
upon to do any of the kissing were ulti-
mately overruled, and it was decided to
run the new feature in separate tent as q
sort OF annex. The only thing left TO be
done was to give the young men hint as
to what sort OF affair the society proposed
to give. The girls did not give the secret
right out, but dropped hints which put all
the Young bachelors and most of the mar
ried men in state of anxious anticipation.
The latter never passed out of the antici-
patory condition, owing TO the resolute
action taken by their respective better
halves.
When Monday evening came the lawn
where the fair was held contained, among
other things, tent which bore the sign: