Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-15
THE STRoLLER'S STORIES.
Odd Opinions and Quaint Observations Gath.
cred From Curb aud Corridor.


ward their National Encampment at San Fran
cisco. Among the gallant band may be noticed
Past Deputy Commander Thomas Stewart. of
Monongahela City, with a look of what Hamlet
styles "mitching mallechoI on his expressive
countenance. Enter to his comrades Colonel
Chill Ha zzard, apparently in great state of
jubilation- The Colonel proceeds to inform
his hearers that, being seized with wild de-
sire to ride on locomotive through the wIlds
OF the West and com mune with nature un-
trammeled by association with unpoetic veter-
ans he has sought and obtained letter Of in
PRODUCTION to the engineer who is to pilot the
train He furthermore recounts how he pre-
sented his letter to the engineer, and politely
re quested permission to ride in his locomotive.
when the engineer read P-'s letter."
continued Colonel Hazard, ''he guessed it was
all right, and finging an extra cushion on the
tool box, told me to come round when the train
was starting. And so l won my point, boys.
and you bet l write this. ride up for all It's
WORTH"
Now Mr.. Thomas Stewart, heretofore alluded
to, owes the gallant Chill a terrible revenge,
since certain practical joke Of the preceding
year; so he quietly slips from the crowd and
hastens toward the spot where the engineer is
standing Motioning the man of power aside
he says to him, in sephulchral tones:
"Mr. Engineer, as G. A. R. man, feel it
my duty to warn you against a certain indi-
vidual in our party. We have with US an un-
fortunate brother who is q kind of harmless
lunatic. His mania consists chiefly in persuad-
ing engineers to let him ride on their loco
motives. If the permission is granted he be-
haves very nicely for short way out, and then
suddenly springs at the whistle and turns it on,
or does some other wild act. He wrecked q
freight train in Colorado two years ago."
''W-what is the mans manner" stammers the
engineer.
His name is Hazard" Mr. Stewart replies;
Colonel Chill Hazard"
why" yells the engineer, that very fellow
was here five minutes ago, with letter from
Mr. P"
"OhI that's an old trick Of poor Hazards"
is the reply; 'he writes those letters himself,
you know"
Then the engineer swore several mighty
oaths. and this very unjust Stewart quietly
strolled of to await the denouement.
Presently enters jauntily Colonel o. Hazard
decked out in a seersucker coat, with huge
sombrero to shade him from sun and dust. He
gracefully takes his seat on the tool box, and
lights choice Henry Clay" Scarcely has he
begun to enjoy the fragrant weed when gruff
voice from the platform breaks in upon his
dreams with an unnecessarily loud "Hellor'
The Colonel leans over and answers "Hello"'
1t is the engineer who has called, and In his
strong right hand he clutches big coupling
pin. When he observes Colonel Hazards SOM
brero and seersucker combination, all doubts
as to that worthy's state of mind leave him.
"Come down out of thatP' says the engi-
neer.
"You forget me-rm Colonel Hazard" is
the reply Of the smiling officer.
II know who you are right WELL" yells the
irate engineer. 'Pm up to your game, and if
you don't get out of that engine while Pm
counting ten, maybe this pin can put you
out"
But my dear sir" protests Colonel Haz-
zard.
"One-two-three," began the engineer.
II assure you" continued the Colonel.
"Four-fVe-six," i" goes on the engineer. Then |
the Colonel sees that his remonstrances are |
useless, and-a thing that he never did during |
his long army ife-abandoned the position |
without firing another shot
Tableau: A vanquished warrior srriding |
along the platform, while host of grinning |
faces look innocently forth from the car win |
dows all along the line.
Ex-STATE SENATOR W. h. PLAYFoRD and
"
ped at the Hotel Schlosser last evening. Both
gentlemen are prominent politicians, and
belong to the Democratic side of the fold.
Their opinions on the coming Gubernatorial
contest are very decided. "I am an outand-
1ut Wallace man." said Mr. Hagan, ''and l
believe my friend' Cooking in the direction of
he ex-Senator) sis the same" Mr.. Playford
nodded acquiescingly, and observed that the
Uniontown Democrats, with very few excep-
lions, were all for Wallace. When questioned
IS to the w Presidential contest, both gentle
men blushed modestly. and admitted that they
we're not prepared to look quite SO far, at so
hort notice. However. am for Cleveland
ls far as have seer" said Mr.. Hagan; "and 1
nay remark. that, from my knowledge Of other
'ural districts in my neighborhood, the State
seems to be tending emphatically
;oward the Cleveland pole" Mr.. Playford
would express no opinion on the subject. He
merely gave knowing glance out of his left
'ye, and pulled frantically at big cigar, the
7ery puffs of which seemed to curl into some
hing surprisingly like Borrower, '92"
A CURIOUS scene was witnessed in the rooms
: of the Schlosser when General 8. M.
Bailey, another light of Uniontown politics, but
star Of widely different armament, greeted
|
rms and offered to act as their cicerone
trough the mazes Of Pittsburg. The offer
Vas gladly accepted, and the guileless Repub-
can General proceeded to carry on little
uiet talk with his Democratic townsmen.
he General is as stanchly "Oelamater" as
fessrs. Playtord and Hagan are Wallace
here were two points, however, upon which
be trio thoroughly agreed. The first of these
Tas that Uniontown was booming to an aston
,hing extent, and the second that ''carpe diem"
vas very good motto. which admirably sug-
ested the adaptability of Pittsburg to pur. I
oses of enjoyment The latter fact was con-
dered by all intending interviewers as a {
1oughtful hint TO take themselves off.
LADY last night refused to travel in cab
belonging to well-known Pittsburg owner,
laking, as her excuse. the extraordinary state
tent that the vehicle was haunted. The lady :
rotested that she recognized the cab from sew
raj others, which surrounded it, by the driver.
he alleged that some time since, when riding
Lawrenceville in this particular cab, she was /
artled by the apparition of an old woman I
ressed in long black robes, who suddenly took I
le opposite seat. The vision, she declares
ared at her with lack-luster eyes, pointing I
IDLY to large cash over its right temple. For !
,me moments the lady remained speechess, | 4
I'D then she turned to her little son, who was !
Ileep by her side, and attempted to wake him.
Immediately the strange occupant Of the front
at vanished. The driver in charge Of the cab :
erely laughed at this story; and several OF the :
.bmen said that the lady was well known
roughout the LawrenceVille neighborhood as
on the subject of ghosts She
as accommodated with another cab, and jour
,yed homeward, 1t is to be hoped, without any
rther yisitations from the other world.