Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1890-07-05
TEA TABLE SALAD.

Chicago Globe.
THE trouble with Justice is that she
does so little besides holding her scales
-GdlUest0n Meas.
A TENNIS. suit is not very loud, but
racket nearly always goes with 1t
Washington Star.
THE latest form of "cold steal' is
the understandable advance IN the price
of ice-Boston Trareter.
STUDENT, after delivering commence
ment oration-"Aha! Only three bou-
DUETS, and paid for four. Rome Sen
taael.
WARM weather has arrived, and the
fizz of the soda fountain and the phlz OF
public are face to face Huntington DEM
Ocrdt
A>sNALL Boston girl of 3, after a visit
to the country, remarked wisttully: II
wish we had house out OF doors =
Boston Transcript.
THERE are no birds in last years nests"
And last years suits pdsse,
And last years ''sweet girl graduate
Is IN the c0"s0"'"S -Ne,o York Herald.
"I'D hate to be slave and have to
toll in this hot weather"
II wouldn't mind being a surf IN
summer. "-Ne1O York Herald.
A WILLIAMSBURG sugar refinery EN-
ploys over 800 women. The proprle-
tors probably know of their refining IN
fiuence.- YOnkers Statesman.
THE planning mill man met the carpenter
daughter
And at once was most thoroughly f eSI,, a.
And ever there rafter he wood and ne saw Ter,
''''' -Te,re Haute Express.
"SUPPosE your wife. ceased to love
YOU % suggested the cynic "Well,"
said the young lawyer, II should get
out writ of attachment. '-NeD York
SIN.
"PLAY ball - shouted the umpire.
CAV, what's de use O. tellin' 'em
dat?' said hobitue Of the bleaching.
boards. ''Dey can't" = Washington
Post.
"sHouLD we keep our vests in the
vestry ?" asked Gilroy. eyes" replied
Larkin; E'and our coats in the coterle,
and likewise our trousers in the pantry.
-Hnrper's Ba@ar.
Mr.. SLowBAY-"M Passe, what do
YOU think is the best name for a girl ~
Miss Passe Cooking deep into his eyes,
-"That of the only man she ever
loved. "-Someruille Journal.
"YoU are welcome to these eggs,
Uncle Ben, but l am afraid some of
them are bad.'' ooh, dat don't make
no differ'nce, boss; | amt gwine to eat
'em dey's for settin'. "-LJe.
NEPHEW with newspaper They re
having hard time trying to settle the
Hungarian diet question" Aunt
"Why don't they give them just plain
pork and beans "'-Boston Herald.
SHE-"Some one has said that the
ocean never sleeps, but I'm sure it looks
calm enough now to be taking nap"
He-t'Yes, all except that part astern;
that's awake, you know. "-Jester.
A JERSEY prophet says he has discov-
cred, from an early Hackensack mosqul-
to's wish-bone, that we are to have a
summer colder than the memorable
winter of 1S12.-Ne,O York Times.
MOTHER (of spoiled child 81 am
greatly obliged to you for bringing my
little boy back"
Organ Grinder-'sI fraida he teacha
munk bada tricks. "-Neev York Weekly.
ToM-"You are such a modest, good
GIRL Jenny, that I'm afraid Pm not
worthy of you
Jenny-'7Don't let that worry you,
Tom; it's only temporary Iecos SJt-
ings.
STRANGER (entering)- "Can get a bite
at this hotel %
Stranger (departing)-"I guess you
can. / stayed there last night, and |
got several of them p Yonkers States
man.
SHE enthusiastically ooh, George
don't you think the greatest joy in life
is the pursuit of the good, the true and
the beautiful %
He-.'You bet! That's why I'm here
ht.-Buwlingto Free Press"
He has fought the grizzly bear
Braved the lion in his lair
His heroic reputation every land and nation
knows;
But sooner, he declares,
Would he walk around six squares
-Binghanaton Republican.
LET'S play census, Willie"
Il don't know how
"Why," says Flossie, "Yo on ask me all
the sassy questions you can, and | tell
YOU it's none of your business and set
Fido on you "-New York Herald.
OLD gentleman from head of the
stairs at late hour)-"Clara, | think
you and that young man have talked
enough for one evening"
Clara-'All right, pa We won't say
another word. "-Lippincott's Magazine.
PR1soN WARDEN Ito new prisoner
eve always like to assign the prisoners
to the trades with which they are most
familiar, and shall be happy to do SO in
your case What is your trade ?''
Prisoner-"I am a commercial travel
er. "-LdUrence- american.
"WoULD any shock at this stage of my
a Il fr1.C