davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1890-08-24

(ILERK-Wanted. by young man. position IN
dress Chas. Huckaby. John son City Tex. 2I-27
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1890-08-24

4 NLERK-Wanted, by a man OF experience, q
Y situation in dry goods or grocery store.
Best OF references. Address, S, care S. N.
Carey, 906 Main St.. CITY 23-2q
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1890-08-24
FOR RENT-HOTEL

EvoR REST-Good hotel with Is regular board
X ers and business Increasing None need ap-
ply except those willing to run q first-clasx
house. Apply to H. g. Ellis & Co.. near EMS
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1890-08-24

Y EACHER-Wanted. male teacher to take
= charge Of mixed school that will number
100 students or more. No one need apply unless
he can come well recommended. We invite
correspond uce. Address. +. D. Futrell Gil
mer, Upshur county, Texas. l4-25
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1890-08-24

pRlNTER-A good, allround printer wants a
4 good position N progressive Texas town.
Unma rried, and has good appearance. Had con-
siderable experience writing for papers. Cor
respondence solicited. Address Art Printer,
care Gazette. 2D-26
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1890-08-24

TUToR-Manted, position as tutor By gentle-
man. Latin, English. mathematics, eIocu-
ton. piano, guitar. banjo, vocal music. Ex-
eeptional references. Paul Price, Marshall.
Tex. 2O-a6
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1890-08-24

W3NTkD-AGExTS
THE Washington Life Insurance Companv 81
4 New York desires to contract with few
more good distric. agents for desirable territory
In lesas. liberal terms to frst-class men.
Apply 70 or address J. B. Day, manager. San
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-05-23
A Joke on the Englishman.

Mark Twain has had the tables turned
upon him, and the prince of professional
jokers has been made the subject of an
immense practical joke. At the Au.
thors' Club of New York, so the story
runs, Mark Twain was introduced to an
English visitor by Henry G. Bunner by
his own name of Clemens, just after the
editor Of Puck Bunner) had pointed
out the famous humorist to the En-.
glishman as MARK Twain" Ate,
shaking hands the Englishman said
NH. Clemens, Mr.. Bunner has been
trying to play a joke on me, as an ignor.
ant foreigner, 10y telling me that you
were Mark Twain, the great American
humorist, and l told him l had neye,
heard OF such a person. Is there an
American humorist named MARI
Twain?"
MI. Clemens said there was a Joke on
somebody, but did not seem to appre,
clate it, and the Englishman is Still
wondering what the joke was on Marx
Twain. "A
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-05-23
Taught Everything but What They
Want.

Hitherto our higher institutions of
learning have neglected almost wholly
to instruct the young men in the prin-
ciples of the government and in the
duties which are to devolve upon them
as citizens. They are taught a great
deal about the properties of matter,
but very little about the passions Of
men; much about the perturbations of
the planets, but very little about the
interaction of parties; much about the
constitution of the solar system, but
very little about the constitution of the
United States; much about the laws OF
the universe, but very little about the
laws of the land; much about universal
gravitation, but very little about uni
versal suffrage; much about the Grecian
democracies and the Roman republic,
but next to nothing at all about the
republic to which they themselves be-
long. Indeed, so far is the teaching of
our colleges at present from being
suited to prepare young men for the
proper discharge Of what under our
constitution is really the most important
duty before them in life, that it almost
seems to have been purposely planned
to evade that object.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-05-23
SOMETHING SWEET.
BY ARTHUR LEWIS TUBS.


There are many shadows in life, l know,
And many a dreary day:
There are dregs Of sorrow in every cup,
And thorns along every way;
But though we travel Il tcilsome road
With weary and Dice ing feet,
There is ever u glenln Of hope ahead,
And always sonlsthing sweet.
The darkest morning will send some ray
To tell us ii is not night;
The heaviest burden will be lald down il
And prove but u blessing bright
Ii only we look to the star OF hope
Which our eyes may ever meet,
We will find for sorrow a healing balm,
And always something sweet.
When death descends with it's chilling touch
And one we have loved is gone.
1t is hard to see i'll the midst of night
The CLEAN of a happy dawn.
But death is only Il step that lead
To u life which is more complete,
And hidden under n mask of pain
Is q Sayiour's smile SO sweet.
If we lift our eyes by the light of faith
In the skies of hope above
We may see the star that is beanlinG bright
With the tender shepherds love.
1t will light the dreuriest cloud of gloom
Thut our eyes may chance to meet,
And guide us safe through the bitter night
To the dawn of morning sweet.
And oh! how happy the time will be
When the toll and cnre is DER.
And we are safe in the land of rest
On the souls abiding shore.
And there with all that the heart can Wish
Will we find the life complete,
With nothing narrowing, dnrh or sad,
But everything always sweet.
-Ttjcp GIDHs.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-05-23
SUGAR AND 1SouIs1TlvENEss
Often Deprive the Monkey of His Freedom

Often Deprive the Monkey of His Freedom
Most all monkeys which, one sees in the
United States come from Gorgona, q
little village which is situated q short
distance from the Panama railroad.
The inhabitants of this district are
mostly native negroes, for no white man
could bear the climate without drinking
plenty of whisky and almost continually
swallowing quinine. The whole region
is marshy and covered with extremely
profuse tropical vegetation. At night
there arises a thick vapor laden with
fever. which hangs over the woods like
a cloud.
This region Of wood is the paradise of
the monkeys. They travel in troops
around the woods, led by an older
monkey. When the people receive the
information that the travelling monkey
troops are near the village, they repair
to the woods in crowds in chase of
them.
Their plan is very simple. They cut
a hole i'll a cocoanut large enough for a
monkeys paw. The nut is then hol-
lowed out and o piece Of sugar placed in
it. A piece Of string is then fastened to
it and is placed in the road of the APP
preaching monkeys. 1t is known mon
keys are very inquisitive animals. Soon
enough they see the Lonesome" cocoa
nut in the grass and hurry to examine it
thoroughly. 1t is a curious sight to see
how they climb from the trees, chatter
ing, to take Il good view of the oncer
1t does not take them long to find out
that the inner part contains q piece OF
sugar. One OF the boldest and greedi'
est sticks a paw into the nut to get the
sugar, and grasps it as tightly as he can.
But his fist is so large that he cannot
draw it out OF the hole again with the
sugar, which he holds fast to, cost what
it may. The negroes pull the string
until nut and monkey arrive in the vi
cinity of their ambuscade. In the mean
time the other monkeys wonder what is
the matter with their comrade. They
hurry to see where he is being pulled
to with his paw in the cocoanut. They
crowd around him chattering and jestic
ulating to their hearts content.
Now the great moment has come
The negroes have a large net ready, and
they spread it out over the unsuspectins
monkeys, and before they know
it they are prisoners. They are
sold to the employees Of the Panama
railroad, and reach the North American
market through commercial dealers.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-05-23
Using Chopsticks.

"They cut their food with their dag
gers, and they eat with pitchforks!"
cried the Mortified japanese who first
saw Europeans eating in such a bar
barrie and revolving with the
knife and fork.
Light fingered. deft and initiative as
the japanese and Chinese are, it takes
them as long to learn the proper and
graceful use Of the knife and fork as it
requires for us to master the evolutions
and etiquette of the chopsticks.
1t is a pretty sight, at the beginning
Of a japanese or Chinese feast, to see
the host help his guests to sweets, as
then is displayed the best and most
graceful play of the chopsticks. One
can take a lesson, az the master of the
feast daintily lifts cakes OF CONNECTIONS
and places them on the plate or paper
before each guest. The Chinese chop
sticks ale longer than the japanese,
often metal-tipped and decorated, and
are used again and again. Mandarins
carry their own silver-tippedivory chop
sticks to a feast, wipe them clean, and
carry them home again when it is over.
In the common restaurants in Chinese
cities, the chopsticks constitute a lottery
for the patrons. All the sticks are kept
together in a deep, round box, and Ger
tain ones are marked on the lower end
with q Chinese character or number.
The ones who selects those chopsticks
from the box are entitled to an extra
dish or portion without extra charge.
In the old city of Tien-Tsin. particu.
larly, n is half deafened when he
passes a restaurant by the rafting O.
the boxes of chopsticks and the shril.
voices Of the proprietors screeching the
merits of their establishments at the
top of their lungs.
In Japan, where exquisite neatnes.
and daintiness mark every part o
household living, the same chopstick'
are used only once. At a feast, or at al
ordinary %teahouse, a long paper en-
velope laid beside ones bowl contains
pair of Pinch sticks 70 thicker tina,
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-05-23
She Had Wind on the Stomach.

She was a little old woman dressed
in black and having a bundle wrapped
up in a gray shawl. She had a seat in
the middle Of a car, and as she took out
her clay pipe and began feeling for her
tobacco the conductor stepped forward
and said:
"You mustn't smoke here, ma'am."
why not?"
Against the rules"
who made the rules?"
"The company"
where's the company"
"Down at the office"
We'll, l never allow nobody a mile
away to tell me wien I shall or shall
not smoke. I've got wind on my stomach,
and when 1 have it l allus smoke. You
kin trot right back to the platform and
be ready to jingle the bell when any
body wants to get Off"
And she found a match, lighted it on
the sole OF a solid shoe, and pulled away
with a serene countenance until ready
to get off.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-05-23
An Early Spring Watch.


When he took a car at the Grand
Central depot to come down town ne
sized the conductor up, came TO the
conclusion that he was q man to be
trusted, and after riding two or three
squares he inquired: ,u,'
Would you mind giving me a little
advice?"
What's the matter| cautiously
queried the conductor. !
Look at this"
The young man pulled out his hand
kerchief, unrolled it, and displayed
about fifty different pieces OF a silver
watch, including the cases.
what is it?" asked the conductor
after picking up a passenger.
The remains"
"Of a watch?"
Exactly. The mortal remains OF a
watch I bought two weeks ago for $40
in cash"
"What happened to it," .
Nothing. 1t stopped in about MI
hour after I bought it. When 1 got
home [ shook it to make it start, and
this is the result. She separated on
me-fell right apart as you see"
"Well?"
well, the man who sold it to me is
a beetle browed, long-nosed, molasses-
tongued chap, who warranted it for a
year. Lands! but how he did soap
me! He sized me up for a spring pie
plant, and he was right"
"Well?"
well, I want you to advise me a bit.
He won't take it back. of course. He'll
deny that he ever saw me or sold me a
watch"
"Yes."
"But Tn not going to give him the
chance. I'm going to walk in on him
and give him a surprise party. What l
want to ask you is whether it is more Of
a crime to kill a man in his store than
out on the sidewalk"
Il think it would be murder in either
case"
And a hanging offence?"
"Yes."
cit would muss up the store to break
him in two on the edge of the counter
and then twist his head off. Wouldn't
the law take that into account?"
"No."
"Then I'll kill him inside. I shall
be arrested, tried, convicted, and hung,
but 1 shall die happy. When a man
has been sucker enough to pay 80 for
a watch which falls to pieces on the
first shake, and when every friend he
has on earth is feeling for the soft spot
in the top OF his head, something should
be done, eh?"
yes"
Something shall be done! I will
wade in his gore! Here. accept one Of
the wheels of the watch. It will not
only be a relic Of me. but will admit
you to the hanging. 1 will look for yor
just before the drop falls. [ get Of
Observation-Disclosures York Sa71.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-05-23
Justly Punished.

One day a pupil of the painter eros
came int his studio with II superb but.
terhy, which he had just caught, pinned
TO ms cap: The artist was so much ex-
cited by the sight Of the hutterinp in.
sect, That he exclaimed anglily: What.
unfortunate young man, is this the dem.
onstratlon ofyour love forthe beautiful ?
lou II a charming creature and Won
cruelty and kill it ia the most barbarons
manner. 60, never enter nv stnd;o.
never let me see your face again."
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-05-23
A jeweler at Lawrenceburo a,

A jeweler at Lawrencebure. ON,
several valuable stones earlv l ~,
morning, and couldn't account ' y.
disappearance. for he had only ors W.
safe a few minutes before. lsaS
vain for them. and then, turnipa ~;
,year-old baby, who had been " !.
about, asked: "Where are tbo,'
things?" Me eat 'em all" was tSs
answer. A physician was at once sn W.
He did not think any serious re,nl.
follow the costly feast. An evan
of the tray showed that fonrtess
and five diamonds had been swalla,
the child.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-05-23
oNr EEyOY

ONE ECJon "a
Both the method and re:a II
Syrup Of Figsis taken; hP y
and refreshingto the TASTE 81 \
gentlyyet promptlyo on tnss
TEN eAectually, dispels con- u
aches and fcver sand and o III Fis|
only remedy of its kind ~
duced, pleasing to the tas md
ceptable to the stomach, P 3.
it's action and truly bene'tk|
effects, prepared only, tro .usa
healthy and l. Agreeable olns , !!
mend it to all and haSs
the most popular remedy
Syrup Of Figs is for ,. sais
and 81 bottles BY ell i 5sss,]
gists. Any reliable diI
may not have it on manu. nur q
cure it promptly fo ~ aI atI
wishes to try it. Nv
say substitute. oy,A
CALIFORNIA FIG S ,u
saw haARoiSe0;. w e,1
LOUISVILLE ~
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-05-23
Suicide in ,Ianan

According to n recent jaw.
appears that the great ma;nrranese se
committing suicide in .Ion,y Of b
years of age. Next on the pta ATE
sons between 20 and 81 yeal ass cog
these the greater numb.r tns. W ss
on the world in consequencaa 'ass
pointed love. For suicides Of
July is the %favor,te month u Al
period of six years, from 1ss, patt
elusive, the number of so 10 !
month Of July ranged from n''G .as
while the number during the ,s ap0
the year averaged from 200 10 ' saa
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-05-23
Stopped His Sermon to XII a Deer.

AT That early period ministers III Del
aware County were a rarity, and these
Connecticut people were brought up in
a strict Sabbath day keeping, and be-
fore they had started preaching the in
habitauts would meet on Sunday at
some central house in the neighbor-
hood and the deacon OF the settlement
would read some old sermon they had
brought with them. On II occasion
they had met for this purpose at Deacon
Webster's; he had read the text, and
was proceeding with the sermon, when
his black man, by the name Of Amos,
suddenly appeared at the door, show
ing his ivory, and addressing his mas
ter, the deacon: "Massa, massa, dar is
q fine fat buck in the barnyard with the
cattle" The old deacon took down the
rifle Gan old chunk rifle, stepped to the
door and raised it to his eye. Bang!
went the rifle, and down Went the deer.
The deacon told Amos to keep his eve
on him a little, and then replaced his
rife and resumed his sermon.
But this was not all. Old Mrs. Rose
happened to be out herding the cattle,
and hearing the report and seeing the
deer fall she went Immediately to her
husband, who was justice Of the peace,
and said: Esquire Rose, what do you
think Esquire Webster has been do.
ing?" Il don't know" said he; 'my
dear, what has he" "Why, he has
been shooting a deer on the Lords
day" Next morning Esquire Webste,
received o polite note from Justice
Rose, setting forth the charge against
him and inviting him to call up and pay
the fne.-NeW York Press.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-05-23

lead pencils, whitfield from clean white
pine. To show that they have never
been used the two sticks are whitfield
in one piece, and split apart only. halt
their length.-E. Z. Scidmore, IN 81.
| Nicholas.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-05-23

In London they have a window clean
ing company which gives The greatest
satisfaction. Experienced men, with all
the utensils required, clean the windows
cheaply and we'll.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-05-23

JACK Qeaving the lodge with Jem)-
Does your wife wait up for You when
you are out late, Jem? Jem with
a melancholy shake Of his head)-
She does, Jack, she does, I'm sorry to
say.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-05-23

When Baby was sick. we gave he, {,
When she was q Child, she cried fl, y.
When she became Miss. she chung to Ca.
When she had Children, she gave tb0,, =
'aea Gu.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-05-23

GENERAL GRANTS memoirs have thns
'ar netted his widow about $500, 900,
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-05-23
Turtie.POWer.

A paper published at Saigon, in
French Cochin-China, gives an account
of q singular experiment recently made
in that colony with a new means of
motive power. A French resident at
the town Ha-tien, a small port on the
Gulf of Siam, conceived the idea that it
would be perfectly practicable to make
the immense turtles, which are not UNI
common in those parts, and which swim
with no little rapidity, to do service in
drawing boats. =?
He purchased two large turtles at a
cost of $40, and fitted them out with a
neat harness, with reins. Then he OBJ
tanned a light, open boat, about fifteen
feet long, and attached his turtles to it
by means Of traces.
Then, holding his reins fast, he set
out on q little voyage with the turtle
team. The creatures padded along
very prettily, at a rate, somewhat ex-
ceeding the ordinary gait Of a
AS they directed their course toward
the open sea, and as the weather was
calm and beautiful and the voyage ex-
ceedingly pleasant, it did not occur to
the Frenchman to make n very
thorough test Of his ability to guide the
animals.
Much delighted, indeed, with the sue
cess of his experiment, he kept on and
on, until he presently noted that he was
already a considerable distance out at
sea, and that the sun was setting.
The Interested navigator then at.
tempted to turn his team about, but the
f11rfJoo roSIcfnI onr c,,ob
They had evidently made up their
minds to go to sea, and they would not
be dissuaded from their purpose.
The driver pulled his reins until he
upset his turtles in the water, but as
often as they regained the use of their
hippers they set out again for the mid
die Of the sea.
Night settled down rapidly. Luckily,
the inventor of the new means OF marine
traction had brought with him a pair of
oars, and a. a last resort, he took a
knife, cut his tugs, and let the sea
steeds, harnesses, reins, and all, go their
way.
Then he rowed back laboriously to
his village, lamenting his expenditure
on the turtles, and resolving not to try
any 1urtner experiments IN navigation.
Chinese Medicine.
The doctorpulled out a drawer from
under the counter and exhibited hun.
dreds Of mummy grasshoppers.
"These are good for little children"
he said. "In China every spring mill.
ions of these bugs come in the fields,
Pretty SOON the grasshopper dies and
the meat turns into a fly. The hind
legs and little tail drop off and the lit
tie fly goes away, Then there is moth.
ing but the shell left. The laborers il
the fields gather these and dry them il
the sun. They make good medicine il
powders. Chinese babies never dif
from commissions while teething Xix,
white babies. This powder acts on tn,
stomach when the stomach teeth ar,
coming through and makes them gooe
and strong"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1890-07-11
GLADSTONE PROTESTS.
he Strongly Objects to the Gov
eminent Program.
An ILLINOIS MAYORS TROUBLE.
GLADSTONE SHOWS TEMPER.
He Makes n Forciblc Protest Against
the Governments Plan.

LoSDoy, July 1.-THE meeting of the pro-
cedure committee yesterday was very spirited
the sitting being enlivened by several tits be-
tween the leaders Of the opposing parties Sir
VIM. Harcourt and Mr.. Chamberlain INDUCED
In an exchange OF vigorous language. and Sir.
Gladstone displayed considerable temper in
his objections TO the government program. In
forciblo and somewhat lengthy speech the
liberal leader protested against the report pre-
pared by the committee. basing his objections
upon its phraseology. AZ the report is framed
IL allows the house to postpone indefinitely not
only the pending bills. but any measures that
may nc introduced in future. Under this rule
any home rule bin that NAV be introduced at a
later session can be shelved Mt will even before
IL has reached the stage OF discussion. Mr..
Gladstone denounced the arbitrary spirit OF
such procedure and was supported in his criti-
cisns by the other liberals. The liberals are
exultant over the surrender of the government.
as evinccd by the statement of Mr.. Smith in
the house last night. and will probably offer no
further obstruction TO the ministerial program,
unless perhaps. in the matter of objecting TO
the proposed November session, against which
n large number of conservatives are protesting
The government having become 80 completely
hemn.ed in that ii is afraid to make fight on
any measure. il will probably rccede from its
scheme of a November session If the opposition
TO IL promises an even chance OF defeat, which
il certainly does from the present outlook.