Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1890-12-14
1.-THE SEER, THE FELLOW LEAF. I"
ON THE BoRDERLAND BETWEEN
YOUTH AND OLD AGE.
Yield to 1t GracefuIly-The
Transition Stage.

y
than when passing through the transition
period. Every one had been kinder, more
considerable, more anxious and ready to do
little things for her, and life had been
very comfortable and happy.
There is much in her remark that is
worth bordering by women who are grow
ing old. Is there not suggestion in it,
nay, proof, that the world loves truth ?
She had given up trying to deceive the
world, and the world-her world-showed
its gratitude, its appreciation, by nameless
little acts of kindness and courtesy
To grow old gracefully is said to be ex-
tremely difficult for women, and for some
men. And it is not to be wondered at; to
acknowledge that one is old, really old, and
out of the race, laid aside, as it were, and
fit only to sit at the hresIde and listen to
gossip; to blazon TO the world that one is
no longer able to go to balls and late din
ners; that one Is incapable of going about
as much as formerly; that, in fact, one no
longer cares for it, is hard thing for
most women to do.
But once the gulf is crossed, and the up
lands of old age are reached, everything is
calm, comfortable, content. There is no
need OF any hypocrisy or subterfuge; no
excuse for not doing this, that or the
other thing; everything is understood, no
explanations are needed and no questions
are asked. Old age has come, and that is
the excuse for doing or not doing certain
things. One does not go out of ones house
for amusements at this age, but if one has
lived an unselfsh life, sympathizing with
and helping others, doing the good that
comes to ones hand to do, it will now be
paid back tenfold. The home of an elderly
woman should be the resort of the young
and the middle-aged. If she has been a
wife and mother, who so competent to give
advice to those women younger than her.
self who are going through the same ex-
periences that she has been through? II
prosperity has not hardened her heart to
suffering, nor sorrow embittered her, she is
the one to whom the younger women will
turn for sympathy in their Joys and for
comfort in their suherings.
1t is nobler to live in the Joys and sor-
rows Of others than to live in the dead
past, brooding over what has gone never
to return. With the aged it is choice
between the two, and the truly good and
lovely woman will choose the former The
old do not suffer so acutely as the young,
but they have suffered; hence the value
and sweetness of their sympathy.
The varied experiences of lite that no
one escapes should temper the spirit and
mellow the disposition. That it does not
in all cases, we know too well. And when
it does not, we know what dreary old
age such woman is laying up for herself.
But there is much to be said about the
transition stage. When does it begin !?
All, there's the rub this is the question
that is SO difficult to answer. Ones age
and ones feelings must decide We all
know women who are young and charming
at sixty, and others who are old and dis
agreeable at forty; the former we are al
ways glad TO welcome to our homes, while
we avoid the latter.
Doubtless when woman begins to re-
alize that she is no longer sought by
young men and women, by those whom
she considers middle-aged, she receives the
first intimation that she is no longer
young, and that this knowledge gives her
pang no one can doubt. If she yields to
the pain, she has sad future before her,
for as the years pass, her life will be flle1
more and more with hints, and broadly
spoken ones, that she is not young; that
she is old and growing old'r. The woman
who at forty speaks of herself and her
companions as "we girls;'' the woman of
fifty who calls herself a young lady," the
married woman with grown sons, who says
she married ''very young" are all types of
the women who have not learned how to
grow old gracefully; who dread old age,
and who are to be pitied.
They will not give up youth and its
pleasures, nor the appearance of youth.
We involuntarily ask if they enjoy this
masqueradipg, this trying to keep up ap-
pearances, this deception that deceiyes no
one but themselves, this futile effort to be
what they are not They make them
selves targets for ridicule, and arrows of
sarcasm are shot behind their backs that,
if felt, would pierce their hearts with al
most mortal wounds.
There are pleasures that come with
every age, and this period of transition
from middle life to old age will be what
one chooses to make it. If the heart is
young there is plenty of happiness in the
world. Because one is growing old one
need not be unhappy The transition
period is difficult because one does not
want to renounce the last vestige of youth
because one feels too young to be called
old, and yet knows that one is too old to
be called young. A woman does not like
to be the first to call herself old Too we'll
she knows that there are plenty to do it
for her, and that if she once does it the
appellation cold" will cling to her as long
as she lives.
But since one must grow old, if one lives
long enough, is it not better to try to en-
dure it philosophically?
Is it not really wiser for woman TO
acknowledge that she is 10 longer young,
and that it would be inappropriate for her
to wear such hat or gown, or to do this
or that thing? She need not force her
age upon people, but she can tacitly make
them to understand that she is not young
and that she knows it. 1t is better to
yield gracefully to creeping age than to
be forced to yield through the insistence
of others.
But how and when to yield are difficult
questions to answer. The quick-witted
woman need not be told, for she sees
readily. And common sense, accompanied
DIV WI. VIII lStl her Wldt sllS ought 10 90.
But there are other women, and many of
them, who unfortunately are not so gifted.
Their chief characteristic is vanity-alas ,
every human being has plenty of it-and
this vanity it is that viii not permit them
to realize that they are no longer young.
And So they go on masquerading as
young and flippant women, in way that is
both ludicrous and painful. We all know
such women. If they do not wear false
hair they dye their own they wear hats
that are only suitable for young girls and
gowns to match; they are as frivolous in
their conversation as they were twenty
years ago, and their memory is very I'M
certain as to dates.
Such women are neither loved nor re-
spected they are tolerated and ridiculed.
IF they would but throw off this feeble
mask that deceives no one, and come out
under their true colors, they would COM
mand respect, love and sympathy. This
transition stage, this period of middle life,
when one is on the borderlands of youth
and age, should be the richest part of ones
life.
The mistakes and crudities of youth are
left behind. the heart and brain are ripe
With experience, and old age is yet in the