The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1890-07-03
MISCELLANEOUS.


year more valuable.
A little girl who is given to initiate
her elders in words and ways, drew her.
self up in dignified manner at break.
fast recently, and said to her cider
brothers and sisters: "Children. il you
please, we will suspense with that per.
diculous noise."
-Chipinone-"Who IS that lordly
looking man on the other side Of the
aisle?" Ukerdek-"That is newspa.
per man." "Why does he put on 50
much style and seem SO haughty?' "He
10 young one, and is riding on his first
railroad pass. Inter Ocean.
according to an interviewer, Car.
lyle surpassed himself when flrst intro
duced to DR.. Joachim. Shaking hands
with the great violinist the sage OBJ
served that ho "hadn't great opinion
Of musicians-they seemed such vain.
wind-baggy sort Of people"
Seven Of the supposed-to-be sharp
est and wisest lawyers in the country
have made wills, passed away, and the
said wills have been broken all to f1in.
ders by heirs and other lawyers. An
ignorant Missouri farmer wrote his will
In four lines on slate, and it stood
three lawsuits and ten lawyers.
The most expensive thermometer
in this country is in use at the Johns
Hopkins University. 1t Is known ~
Prof. Bowland's Thermometer. and il
valued at $4,000. It is an absolutely
perfect instrument, and the graduations
on the glass are 50 fine that it is neces
sary to use microscope to read them
"A farmer in the vicinity Of St
Louis, Mich, sent his wife to market
and he went into the fields to plow.
About noon the good wife returned and
explained to her husband that 1t was
Sunday. Neither had remembered the
day Of the week until Mrs. Goff found
ST. Louis people going to church.
Every time General Butlor is asked
for his opinion regarding the proper in.
vestment for an enterprising young man.
he says that ''rent-paying real estate"
IL the safest investment in the world.
He always adds that no man who cx.
poets to accumulate property can afford
TO be mean about money matters.
Tho Young Man (rapturously)-
'.And now, Flossie, it only remains for
you to name the happy day. Please make
1t soon, very soon, darling" The Young
Woman Tin tho kitchen few moments
later)-"Bridget, would it interfere with
any Of your engagements II should be
married three weeks from next Wcdnes.
day EVENING""
Lottery tickets seem 10 be very
plentiful in Louisiana just now. The
Southwestern Christian Advocate tells
Of . brother who got things SO mixed
up that he presented lottery ticket
for admission to love-feast. Professed
Christians are coming to be among the
strongest supporters Of the lottery, says
local paper.
"A few days ago three families Of
Finlanders settled on farms in the
northern part Of Beadle County, South
| Dakota. In one OF the families there
are nineteen children, in another SO en-.
! teen and in the third nine. the parents
Of the last family having been married
but ten years. These families will soon
be joined by four others, all relatives,
numbering forty-six persons, making .
total OF ninety-seven persons in nine
families.
"A minister had travelled some dis
lance to preach, and at the conclusion
Of the morning service waited for some
one to invite him to dine; but the con.
gregation dispersed without noticing
him. When the house was nearly empty,
the minister stepped up to q gentleman
and said: Brother, will you go home te
dinner with me to-day?" "Where do you
live?" "About eighteen miles from
here" mo; but you must dine with
me-" answered the gentleman, with .
flushed face, which invitation the clergy.
man gravely accepted. .-Argonaut.
The president OF the British Phar.
maceutical Conference is credited with
having adopted and recommended the
following for the happy dispa Oh OF
poultry. A large, wide-mouthed, stop
pered bottle is kept charged with an
ounce Of chloroform. When . chicken
has received sentence Of death 1t is held
firmly under the left arm and its head
slipped into the mouth Of the bottle.
A few deep inspirations follow, and the
bird, without a struggle. becomes un'
conscious. Then. holding it by the
legs, its neck is dislocated by . quick
stretch.-Our Dumb Animals.
An intelligent dog in West Chester
plays hide -and-scck with his owner, q
little girl named Amy. She taught i,
the game, and they both, it is said. find
much fun in playing it. Amy will tell
the dog to remain in q certain place un-
til she hides. She then calls and the
log starts on the search, finding Amy
every time. no matter where she hides
Then tho dog will wag his tail. show his
teeth IS though laughing, and HE away
to the place originally designated fol
him by Amy, while Amy hides again
only to be found in an instant afterward
by the dog.
| "A gentleman who lives not thousand
miles from New York City has recently
been absent from home several months
on business. Not long ago his wife re-
ceived letter from him. which she be
gan to read aloud at the breakfast table
But she was somewhat interrupted by I
young son and heir, who apparently
found other things more interesting
than the letter. my child" she sale
In tone Of maternal rebuke, s'don'
you want to hear this nice letter frou
papa?" Papa, papa" was the puzzles
reply. %. yes, you mean the man wh'
used to live at our house"
1t Is said that one Of the grea
Eastern trunk line railroads deliberatel,
provides for loss of many thousands 0
dollars year upon the meals served II
Its dining-cars, and charges the loss I.
the advertising account, in full knowl
edge that the talk such prodigal outla
will create is as good as that amount o
moneys worth in printers ink. A ma
had for breakfast in one OF those cars
one day in April, trout, q game-bird
and bowl of NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
!; besides coffee. rolls. butter and glas
Of milk. The meal cost dollar, IN
his wife told him she could not buy an
one OF the principal dishes in the ma
l fsNv = HhrA 49,