The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1890-06-11

20 have things all our own way.
Indeed, we were so overpowered by that
tender passion that the people talked OF
sending us to the insane asylnm
After we had the first meal they talked
still more seriously about IT. But II
wasn't from overioy this time; II was
from oyereating.
was very anxious TO commence
-baching, and now my every wish is sat
listed All but one, l meant. One more
desire is still unquenched. That desire
Is to quit bachng.
] think il is the meanest job In the
world, with a wire fence around 1t, to have
TO stay mp all night and then have to
wash dishes and cook all day. If don't
stay up far enough I'll get lacked up.
The station agent lost tariff the
other day and couldn't find it. Says i.
-Son," says i, and my voice sounded like
the trumpet of judgment when the sea
shall give up its dead, and everybody will
crashing their teeth together, and therell
be lots of whooping and yelling and all
manner of ejaculation. and all nations
shall come together, and the coats shall
be cut out, and the joker shall be put In
his place OF rest, and no billiards and
bills shall present themselves; says /,
Son. the next thing you lose will be your
job, and that will be harder to find than
that tariff.
thought this TO be sound bit of adj
vice. OF course this is only my opinion
of it, Everybody has n right to his
views. If you say you have right to
your own views out in Wyoming you
won't live long TO view. The next thing
will be the coroners view. He'll find
little hole in your anatomy where some
body has nailed you.
Many years ago. when / was young l
4
bob sleds. In some manner l broke the
hind sled of one pair and the front sled
of the other pair. / could not make
new sled and was stuck. All at once a
bright idea cast its cheering rays over my
darkened intellect darkened by sheer
holiness. Why not take the front sled of
one pair. the hind sled of the other. at
tach the two. and have n good pair OF
bob-sleds2
/ thought 1 was a terror; some folks
say am. But TO return. The next day
said to my playmate:
What If you had two pnir of bob
sleds, and You broke the mind sled of one
pair and the front sled of the other pair?"
/ intended this to be sumner. But
somehow or other the little cuss an
swersd without the least hesit alton:
I'd attach the TWO good sleds."
| didn't notice this however, but an
swered: i figured this out one day in
five minutes.
II was like when fellow is in school.
and the teacher asks him the meaning of
n certain word, aud he has been saving
that definition over ever since school
called, and was thinking how bright he
was, when, just as he was going 10 spring
1t, some other scholar gives it in five
times shorter and palmer words. You
hate that scholar from that minute. 1t
is the same way with q good many people
nowdays
Some men get so bound up in them
selves that they don't notice tn every
natural-born idiot knows more than they
do. To such persons, ii there be any
among you, would say, Don't get too
funny"
The lion, the historian or somebody
else tells us, is terri BILE animal" Why
didn't the blamed cuss tell us something
we didn't know? What did he take uS
for, anyway Suppose We didn't know
just as much about lions as he did? think
we've OF to be woke up in the morning
and told when we're hungry?
Imagine you know il all and that We
don't know anything.
Why, my poor, mistaken nymph, my
youngest boy knows more in six weeks
than you do in q minute. You amt the
only man that knows the lion is a terrible
animal. 1t amt so awful terrible after
all. 1t can be tanned. jim BILDAD.
I.I