The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-10-24
BRIGHT BITS.

FRIENDS get on better when each is willing to
come OF little bit.-ElmlG Gazette.
VACCINE VIRUS is on the free list, which ought
to make it take with the doctors when it comes
to the scratch.-Phitade ptiG Ledger.
We are expecting every day to hear the Free
Press say that hog lard would be much cheaper
II there was no duty on pig iron.-Detroit
Tribune.
IT is CURIOUS. but there are apnostics who
claim. simply becai So they know nothing, that
they must necessarily know more than any body
else.-Judqe.
A CLOSE OBSERVATION is likely to lead to the
conclusion that what the human mind most
Graves is some slight pretext for going crazy
Washington Post.
VIsIToR-Who is that crazy fool?
Hostile is not crazy fool. He is merely
visitor-Rich, eh?-Good Netcs.
"MERcYr' cried the chaperon.
What's the matter!" returned the young
people.
There are thirteen at this table.
That's all right, said Miss Flyaway. "Mr
Hlnkey and eloped and were secretly mar
RED last week That shrinks us TO twelve
Mr.. CHUewATER lin photograph gallery
Don't you hear what the photographer saws.
Samantha? LOOK pleasant.
Mrs Chuswatsr- That's what Pam trying to
Then don't look pleasant, Samantha. for
heavens sakel Look as You always do. Chi.
cdgo Tribune.
THERE is a reign of terror in Boston, caused
by the alleged attempt to ''Westernize" one of
the public schools by compelling pupils to
sound the RS in their words. For example the
school principal insists that horse cars Should
be pronounced as spelled and not .hoss cab -
To this tle Bostonese object. inc5aslatf Com
me cIdt Gazette.
II KNOW we are poor, dear papa" said Eve
~ n cha
out EtheistaneiS brave and hopeful, and he
says that owe wtll1nake a way" 49, .-s-
u know 1t wax ''said old Hyson, grimly. ut
mace away with six tons of parlor coal and SOS
worth ee gas'tsst Winter, ana presently will be-
gin again, suppose. - halter.
FIRST VISITOR Qn public library Excuse nv
curiosity sir, but would you mind telling mo
why you are reading those copies of The Brit
"Almanachsde Gotham
Second Visitor-I'Tn. lookin' for some high
toned foreign names for a row of flat houses
I'm putting up over on the Eastside. Puck
MISS FLORA as, homey and unmarried)-O.
Mr.. Blunt, had such a strange dream last
night
Mr.. Blunt-What was it, Miss Flora?
Miss Floral dreamed that we were married
and on our wedding tour. Did you ever have
such a dream?
Mr.. Blunt (energeticaly)-No indeed. never
had the nightmare in my life.-TeraS Sifttnqs
MIsTREss-Dd any one call while was out'
Servant-No one ma'am, exceptin tramp
lie wanted somethin' to eat: but 1 told him
there was nothin' ready, an he'd have to wait
till tn Teddy of the house got back from the
cookngschool, an mebby she'd make him
something
Mistress-Of ell things! Did he wait:
Servant-No, ma'am. He runned.-Netc York
Weekly.
DIGBY BELL, with merry twinkle in his ewes
will tell you in the most ingenious way when
you ask his age that he has just turned %; but
when the singular paradox of gray hairs and
the years of adolescence is brought to his at
tentfon, be Will excaim through his nose as he
does in The MiAado;" ''My boy, my boy oh
my boy, those gray ha rs are all gags that didn't
go with the public" Then he will eapse into
reflective melancholy for moment or two
CHICAGO Post