The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1890-08-20
PITH AND POINT.

The hen is always the Nestor of the
family.-Pittsbury Chronicle.
Cuts a queer fgure-The sculptor
when he carves quaint image.
To be in the swim one must manage to-
keep himself afoat financially.
It isn't taking the starch out of him
that makes q man Gmp.-Ds.rest Free
Press.
Brilliant weddings do not always make
people shine In subsequent ife.-7enas
svtings
That which is termed q "soft snap" is
oftener o hard thing to get.-Desroit
Free Press. |
CAL things come to those who wait. y
The tips, probably, constitute the means
Of acquiring oil things,
TURKEYS are the most innocent of birds.
The most silly woman in the world can
stuff one.--New Yori NeUs. )
He-"Wont you marry if your father
consentss" She-'tBut will providing
your rich aunt doesn't object."-Ds.
Mrs. Larkin (meditatively)-'sAppear-
ances ore deceitful." Larkin-Not so
much so as disappearances.-West ShoreI
The hairless man smiles In his glee
And as he mops bis brow
He says; 1.-THE dy that walks on me
Will get his feet wet now"
Washington Post.
"What is the sugar question, pat"
"The sugar question, my son, Is gener;
ally twill you have one or two lumpsa'".
--Neao York Sun. !
"Now," said the tramp who had been
laboring at the wood pile, "I'l' go around
to the Kitchen and see if can't cash q
few of these chips" ri
1t is we'll to be enterprising in busi-
ness; but the discreet barber will never
offer his services to the bearded lady ofa
dime museum.-Puck. !
When Jay Gould wills away his va
rious lines of railroad to his family, 1t
will be shopping that these few lines VIII
find you WE'LL" etc.--Aereury.
ATT o'clock she sits and sighs
At 12 o'clock she sits and yawns
"Dear mel Why doesn't he goS
-Aunseys WseSlg.\
s<Pleasc, ma'am, can't you give me-
some dinper2 I haven't had bit all
day." ~But you have big pie there IN
your pocket" "That;s for dessert,
ma'am,"
At the Seashore. She-'Are you fond
of driving2" he from the dress goods
department}-"Indeed, I am. Holding
the ribbons is my favorite occupation"
1oun Crier. 4
Borrower-"You are very kind to lend
me these $50; I feel as if I can never re-
pay YOU" Lender-'tEhY Why in
thunder didn't you say that at frst2"-'
The keystone.
"By the way, how is Higgins9 Iheard
he was at deaths door. 81 don't know
about that, but the last time I saw him
lie was on the step pulling the doctors
bell.-Phizaaelphia Times. |
"Pretty hard work ditching, isn't It,
Terrences" "Sure, it's not the work ]
moind, but what's breaking me heart Is
I'm the only American on the job. Ths
rest is all Eyetalians. ."-Brooklyn Life.
You cannot cure hams with hammer.
Nor measure dram with drama,
Stow plumbs with plumber,
Do sums with summer,
Nor yet shear ram with rammer.
Laurence american.
Butcher-"Good morning, madame,
Young Housekerper-"Good morning,
Mr.. Gristle. would like to get about
five pounds of young and tender sausage
meat, please, without any bone."-7sras
Sytiags. J
Living up to his motto-"Well, I must
90 now,n said Chollie. "What's your
Surry2" asked Ethel. "It's five minutes
of twelve, and my motto In life is never
put off till tomorrow what you can do
to-day" /
"Sir," said the young man to his en-
ployer, 81 thought might take the lib
erty of remindingyou that you promised
to raise my salary this week." "Cer,,
tainly. I've got two collectors out now,
and am just going over to the bank to
try and get my note discounted. Just
keep calm, and I'll raise it somehow If
have ary sort of luck. ."-Washin9ton
Post.