The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1890-08-20

right here and enjoy the cool breeze
while skip the stove out. III get the
wheelbarrow and take it to the barn"
"Nr. Bowser, remember that L pro-
test"
Certainly You are the great Amer
lean protester, any way. If l killed a
fly you'd protest"
l went back to the steps, knowing
well what would happen, but felt that
l had done my duty l heard him
fussing around for awhile, and then he
muttered:
"Shes purity hefty, but she's got to
cone ont o. this"
Ten seconds i..er there was wild
whoop, and when got mt the hall
Mr.. Bowser stood on one foot and was
shaking the other in the air, while the
top of the stove lay on the floor. lie
had pulled it of at the first grab.
"Thunder-aud blazes-and Jewhit-
lakeland Texas-and Jemima" he
was yelling as he waved his foot aloft.
Didn't l tell you?" l queried as l
looked at him.
"Noi Neccri You never said word
not wordr'
"Now will you let the stove alone?"
mo! III take it out of here if 1 die
for itl''
"N1r. Bowser, this pig-headed obsti-
macy of yours will surely lead to"
But he made jump at me, and I fled
back to the front steps and waited in
suspense and terror for the climax. 1t
was prolonged for about ten minutes.
Mr. Bowser had decided to go slow and
avoid another accident. lie took off all
the loose parts, removed his coat, vest,
collar and cuffs, dropped the suspend
ers of his shoulders, and plainly heard
him spit on his hands and growl:
"None of the Bowser family were ever
yet downed by coal stove, and it's too
late to begin now"
Another man would have removed the
legs first. lie didn't think of it, but
undertook to movo the stove as one
moves barrel standing on end. He
had progressed about five feet when
there was sound which frightened the
whole neighborbood. My first impress
sion was that the ginger ale factory in
the alley had exploded and driven our
barn up against the kitchen. My next
was that British gun-boat had slipped
around from the Behring sea and
dropped acknowledgement shell on
the roof of our house to Offset Mr.. Bow
ser's assertions that we were the great
est fighting Nation on earth.
KNEW what had happened. So did
the cook. So did the neighbors. 1t was
minute before could move, and I was
flying indoors when I heard Mr.. Bow
ser utter strange sound-something
between the last roar of dying lion
and the plaintive moan Of COW for her
lost calf. couldn't see him at first. 1t
was all stove, and the stove was On top
of him. Between my screams and the
cooks shouts we cot neighbor in. and
the three OF us lifted up the stove and
dragged Mr.. Bowser out.
"You are the biggest fool in America,
ana LII gamDle on III! e&clalmeo Inc
neighbor, as he stood over NJ. Bowser.
A long-drawn groan.
sit ought to have killed you! A man
who doesn't know better ought to have
a ton of iron fall on him! / suppose
your wife will be foolish enough to send
for doctor, but if you were any kin to
mo I'd take you out and drive you head
first into the alleyl'
With that he went away, and got
the doctor up. No bones were broken,
but Mr.. Bowser had collapsed, like an
empty barrel, and every square inch of
him was bruised and pounded. twas
long after midnight before he said any
thing. I was rubbing him with arnica,
with one hand and 5anRtEg him With