davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1890-07-21
CROSS-ClJTS.

"Is your cook French?'
mo; American. Sort of Pan American"
-Harper's Bazaar.
If you succeed you are a genius: if you do
nov you are fool. That is the long and
the short of it.-Atchison Globe.
Lawyer-Do you swear positively that
you know more than half this jury3 Wit
ness-Yes, sir; and now that have taken
good look at 'em I'll swear that I know
more than all of 'em put toQether.-The
Law.
"Are you at all acquainted with the works
of Kant?'' asked the Boston girl. mot
very much," replied the Chicago youth. Il
guess the only book of his ever read is
DON'T "-Harper's Bazaar.
She had sent off telegram and was
waiting for an answer. Suddenly the Pc
culiar hating click of the receiving ma
chine sounded in the office, and she said to
her companion: 'That's from George, I
know. can tell his er.''-Philadelph
Times.
Customer-I see signs up around the
room: IF you fee the walters you will be
elected" Waiter-Yes, sab. Feein' us ia
risk now, sab; but 'nothin' venture
nothin' have" you know.-New York Week
".
One member of an Arkansas church has
turned out all the other members because
they objected to his taking nap while the
pastor was giving out the customary list of
appointments.-Dallas News.
A Chicago wag advertised for agents to
peddle artesian wells and he got twenty re-
plies in the first mail. One wanted to
know how many he could carry along in a
one horse lumber wagon.-Texas Siftings.
Musical Hostess-Would you like a ga
Vote now, Mr.. Midwest? Mr.. Wildwest-
Thank you, no. I don't care much for
those foreign dishes. A plain ham sand
witch is good enough for me.-The Bos-
tonian.
Said the minister in his quiet way in CIV
ing out the notices: "Jf there had been as
many men as women at the last prayer
meeting, the attendance would have been
about seventy; if there had been only az
many women as men, the attendance would
have been about Dozen" It was unneces.
sary for him to add any moral.-Bostor
Congregationalist.
Two men in Kentucky had dispute az t.
whether Russia could whip Austria in cas-
of a war, and, having finally made bet o
| So on it, one of them has written to tn
Gear of Russia to ask him to decide tn
matter. As the Gear is q very busy man,
may be that he will not reply to the lette
for some time, and perhaps not at ALL
Detroit Free Press.
Some preachers are not successful
Perhaps they have not been prayed fc
after the manner of the colored brother
who, having obtained the pulpit servica
of northern clergyman. made this suppl
cation: 20 Lord, Dress dis yere wife brue
der dats come down from de MORT to preac
to us. Fill him Wild de flames of de spiri
'Noint him vid dc kerosene oil Of salyatiO
. and set him on firer'-Christian Inquire
Icried-..lt Is hot Is the hinges there.
We sizx.e. We roast, 70 fry
told the truth. for the truth II was.
: And nobody said July.
. -Philadelphis TmaA
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1890-07-21
CUI BONO.

Z Protection protects. The republican
party and it's newspaper representatives
would have us believe that the system
protects the manufacturer, and yet, in
.,some mysterious way, adds not one cent
|, to the expenses of consumer. In the
particular instance Of steel rails, the ar.
gument is hard to follow. Not very
many weeks ago the advocates of pro
tective system were pointing with in
tense satisfaction to the fact, as proof
Of their pet theory, that rails were sell
ing in this country as low as in Eng
land. The natural inference to be
drawn was that, owing to the cheaper
ments peculiar to this country in labor
saving appliances, We were able, in face
efgreater cost for labor, to produce steel
rails as cheaply as England could afford
to do and still leave the manufacturer
his fair margin of profit. In other
words, the only condition upon which a
protective tariff can ever be justified
had been fulfilled. An infant industry
had been reared to lusty manhood and
was able on it's own merits to face all
competition. The time, in fact, had
come for the redemption of the original
understanding that when an industry
had been established on firm basis
protection of that special industry
should be no longer considered neces.
sary and the total repeal Of the duty
should follow. Even SO, the American
manufacturer is sufficiently protected
The selling price of the commodity i.
sufficient proof that the cost OF produc
ton is as low in the United States as il
England. But the foreigner, before h
can put his goods on the America
market, has additional expenses to bea
from which the home competitor is al
solutely free. He has the cost Of ocea
freight, Of insurance and Of commission
70 begin with, and that cannot amour
to less than $500 per ton. This alor
constitutes o very reasonable amount
protection to the home manufacture
IL We add TO this the cost OF inlar
freight, such = viii be often necessar
& = very plain that the foreign man
nno1ssag y decidedly handicapped in u
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1890-07-21

The painful precautions taken by the
czar Of Russia to prevent his untimely
taking off by nihilistic bombs, cold pois-
on or other form of determination, leads
the Springfield Republican to advise the
autocrat to "enjoy life while you can,
for you'll be long time dead" The
same is seasonable advice for Gear Reed
and his gang at Washington.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1890-07-21
THE DECL1NAr1oN OF CARTER,

Inc ZION. IhOmaS Henry Garter, who
enjoys confidential relations with our
Washington correspondent, again an
nounces through our special dispatches
from the capital that he will not accept
q denomination. He is even said to have
written letter to that effect to Mon
tana friend (the Hon. Lee MantleD We
do not for moment suspect Thomas
Henry's sincerity -nobody ever did-and
we therefore conclude that he really in
tends at the present moment to retire
to private life. We earnestly hope he
will reconsider his purpose. He ought
to do SO for the sake of his friend
Thomas Cicero Power, who is preparing
to take the stump for him and electrify
the men of the plains and the mountain
with masterpieces of fiery eloquence that
will be lost unless Thomas Henry is at
the fore. He ought to do SO for the sake
of his other dear friend. Col. Warhorse
Sanders, who is burning with zeal to
push on the fortunes of the auburn
haired son Of destiny, who is reaching
for his own stolen seat in the senate.
He ought to do so for the sake of his de-
voted admirer, the Hon. Lee Mantls6
who would unquestionably seek be
Carter's successor in case of the l6tter's
retirement, and who would justas Ger
tainly be slaughtered in the Mouse of his
But above all he ought to do so for
his own sake. Who was it that disre-
garded the urgeut request of the ma
tional silver convention and voted for
Reed for speaker? Carter. Who was
it that lodged decisive votes on the bill
in the house? Carter. Who was it that
was tied UP by pair and could not vote
when his'constituents wanted their voice
heard On the floor? Carter. Who voted
for the Mckinley bill, measure that
M. Blaine declares is deadly blow at
the interests OF the American farmer!
Garter. Who voted for the federal cleo
4 ZION bill, one of the most infamous meas
lures ever proposed for robbing the voters
Of the several states of their rights af
freemen? Carter. Who has voted fol
every vicious pension bill, every wicked
partisan measure, every scheme of pub
lilo plumber favored by the republican
|, leaders in congress? Carter. Who has
talked fair and lain low at home wher
! the stealing Of the state was going OF
! end gone abroad to misrepresent and
s,slander our people and justify the acts
li1f the thieves? Carter.
.at. Who, then but Carter can explain anc
. defend and apologize for these acts? Wht
I else but the man who has sat at the fee
hDf Reed and Quay and communed with
seRussell Harrison can give the stat
: ltealers of Montana the tip as to wha
.,,is to be done next? Could Lee Mantle
(. Or Captain Couch, or Boos, or Captain
hsRob Fisk, or other popular favorit
meet the pointed demands of the voter
I pf the state for light on these questions
ebay. verify. Carter only can do it, an
. Carter it must be. Brace up, Thoma
Henry, and come forth!
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1890-07-21

1Montanians abroad will always find TH1
DAILY INDEPKNDENT on file ut their favorits
hotels: Fifth Avenue and Metropolitan, New
York; Grand Pacific, Chicago; West, Minneapolis,
Baldwin and Palace, San Francisco; st. Nicholas
ind McDermott. Butte; Leland Hotel. Spring
6eld, III
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1890-07-21
Call on Us nd Look Up Some d The
FOLLOWING BARGAINS.

On the installment plan We have:
One good 4.room house on Hoback st.,
$500.
One good kroom house On Breclken-
ridge st., $4,000.
-Four good kroom cottages on Lyn-
dale ave-, 91,26O each.
One Groom dwelling in Broedwater
add, $500.
Two 4.rpom houses in Broadwater
add, 91,00Q
One Groom dwelling on Madison ave-,
$500.
One Groom dwelling on Ninth ave-,
5000; and number Of other snaps.
Two hundred feet on Broadway at
rock bottom 6gures
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1890-07-21
A H1t Class Line Of Rns Insurance Cos

Drop in and sec us, We are here to show
you around.
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1890-03-15
A Ghoulish business.

There arc in Chicago set of ghouis
WHO should he suppressed. Each day
they scan the death notice columns in the
daily papers. and thr:, they print, in cheap
gilt upon black cardboard, what they are
pleased to term in their accompanying
circulars "a beautiful memorial of the
departed. They fill in the memorial
with the name clipped from the papers.
and add some doggevl poetry to fit the
are and sex of the deceased. This they
mail to tile bercavcd wife. parents or chill
drcn together with their price list for the
cards by tile hundred or thousand. There
are probably many men in Chicago who
would like to get :, iirn, grip on the neck
Of the man who is guilty of sending out
these cards. 1t is business which no one
can uphold and which should be put a
stop to. as it brings pain to moa.y house
aolds.-Cliicago Herald.
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1890-03-15
pwnrf Japanese Trees.

One of the interesting things seen
at the Paris exposition are the dwarf
trees which the japanese horticultu.
rists are showing. and which are at
tracing much attention. says writer
in The Pittsburg Dispatch. Pines,
thujes and cedals, said to be 100 or $50
years old. are only eighteen inches
high, and with such specimens it
would be easy to have coniferous
forest on a balcony. These arboreal
ieformities are produced by great Ia
Dor, and if the truth is told about their
ages, this work of arresting the trees
development and forcing it into con.
torted FORMS must be persisted in By
several generations of foresters. All
this painstaking is hardly paid for by
the beauty Of the resulting abortions.
but look at these trees will explain
where the fantastic forms come from
Which serve as models for the plants
VIC see on lacquercd trays, bronzes and
embroideries whichtcome from Japan.
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1890-03-15
a Mathematical Prodigy.

Sam Summers, the negro prodigy,
was in town yesterday, and. as usual,
entertained large crowd. who were
testing him with all kinds OF mathe-
NAUTICAL problems. Summers lisa negro,
81 years old. without the slightest Ell
ucation. lie cannot read on write, and
does not know one figure from an.
other. lie is common. every day
farm hand. end to look at linn and
watch his actions he seems to be about
lalf-wilted, but his quick and inva-
riably correct answer to amy example
in arithmetic, nomatter how difficult.
is simply wonderful With the hun
dreds Of tests that he has submitted
TO, not a single time has he failed to
give the correct answer i'll every in
stance.
Some examples given him yesterday
were: How much gold eau be bought
for s792 in grecnbacks if gold isworth
Sl.G5l Multiply 597,3l2 by l3s. LII
grain of wheat produces { grains, aud
4 IeruIlfs e a..sJa. tho. seconl vcar-cacb
sbushels1will- produced alsfllisrates
in twelve years if 1000 grains make a
pint9 If the velocity Of sound is /, l42
feet per second, the puIsalion Of the
heart ~ per minute. after seeing a
flash Of lightning there arc 90 pulsa-
tons counted before you hear i: thun-
der, what distance is the cloud from
the earth. and what is the time after
seeing The fash Of lightning until you
hcar the tiiunder2 \ commission
merchant received 70 bags of wheat.
each containing 5 bushels, 3 pecSs and
quarts; low many bushels did lie
receiver And SO on.
With Robiuson's. Rays and other
higher arithmetics before them. those
WHO have tested him rs yet have been
unable To lind any example that with
u few moments thought OIL his part
he is not able 10 correctly alliwer.-
Louisville Commercial.
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1890-03-15

A remarkably interesting paper on
the Inst living aboriginal Of Tasmania
was read Ivy Mr.. James Barnard at the
meeting OF the Tasmania Royal soci-
city about two months ago. 1t has
Hitherto been generally believed that
the aboriginal Tasmanians are extinct.
Mr.. Barnard, however, as we learn
from Nature. contends that there is
still one survivol-Fanny Cochrane
Smith, OF Port Cygnet. the mother OF
six sons and i've daughters, all Of
whom are living. She is now about
S. years Of age. Fauny's claims 10 the
honor OF being pure representative
OF the ancient race have been disput-
ell, but Mr.. Barnard makes out good
case in her favor. He himse renem-
bers her as she was forty years ago.
when there were still about thirty or
forty natives at Oyster Cave; land
certainly at that time. he says, Il
never heard doubt expressed of her
moi Being u true abor: rina
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1890-03-15
Saved by a Parrots CRY.
Fire. Fire! Get out. get Quit,

Fire! Fire! Get QUE get out!''
This w;ls The CRY that awakened the
family of ?irs. III. D. Matthews at o'clock
this morning.
S1rs. Matthews residence is on San
Pablo avenue. beyond Golden Gate, and
upon the alarm being sounded the fami-
ly. consisting of the mother and her three
children. beat hasty retreat from the
house. which was rapidly being consumed
by fire.
1t was not until after the family had
rushed ont into the street that they re-
allied the source from which tllcir.warn--
ing had been received, and then tlicyfelts
the deepest gratitude toward the agent.
of their dcliverance.
The savior of the family was: paEEotss
from defectlve 'illle' al, lJazlaEeN
up its CRY. of alarm and aroused the Fans
ily in time for them tolnake their nig1itt:;s
The escape was II narrow one, aildEtlle.;
mother was compelled to rush out insthe
cold night air with her children in scanty
clothing. But as soon as the. family
realized that their lives had heen saved
by the parrot they determined to save
the bids life, and Peter Matthews. a
son of Airs. Matthews. rushed in and eff
fected the rcscue.-Oakland letter in
San Francisco Examiner. +
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1890-03-15
Harriet rros1ncr's Work.

Some one was saying the other day
that the reason why Harriet Hosmer,
who is now in this country, has pro-
duced nothing noteworthy in sculp-
ture for long time past is that she
has given herself over for years to the
pursuit OF something perilously like
that ignus fatuus, perpetual motion:
She devoted herself while i'll England
at the house Of Lady Ashburton to the
invention Of some mechanical contri-
vance Which was always to be perfect
in the course OF the next week or two.
Meeting Story, the sculptor, one af-
ternoon, she told him that in a fort
night her machine would be ready for
exhibition. The time passed, but her
mechanic had disappointed her; some.
thing was not quite rs it should be.
Most of her fortune, this informant
sarmised, was eaten up by the ma
chine. When Miss Hosmer came to
America her machine was to follow
by the next steamer. 1t did not conc
and she took ship again and went back
after it 10 England. What has be-
come of it since was a point not eluci-
datcd.-St. Louis Post-Dispatch.
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1890-03-15
III Needs yerilcatIon.

T. E. Dickinson, the real estate man,
takes all annual summer outing at a
place way up in northern Michigan,
which he can only reach after a three
days journey. after the railroad end
is reached. by wagon. He has just re-
turned, and delights his friends by re-
peating story after story of his sue
cess in fishing. One OF his favorite
yarns is that one afternoon, after cap
turing enough trout to fairly load
down a team that had been hired to
take care of. the fish, lie felt tug at
Ills line, followed Immediately by one
of exceptional energy. After some
fifteen minutes ,f beautiful play lie
landed trout, : brook trout, weigh
ing nearly seven pounds His;aston-,
ishmcnt was unbounded when, in
drawing out the hook, which appar-l
emily the trout had swallowed, there:
followed a pound and half trout
which was alive and kicking. TlleI
smaller fish had taken the hook and
Immediately thereafter had been swal-!
lowed by the larger fish. j. Milton
Oliver, the attorney in the OPERA
house block, having been i'll compahyl
with Mr.. Dickinson, will verify this
story.-Chicago Herald.
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1890-03-15
1vnnted-A Religion.

Some time ago it wasannouncedt that
the Japanese government was open
to proposals for the establishment of a
state religion. Whether i, ll.s suited
itself-an;l It's subjccts-wc hive not
heard; but meanwhile prs ctical steps
with the same object have Gccn taken
at Milan. y committee OF phlloso
pliers and men of science assembled
t.lere lately with tlic purpose o: ill
shutting u new national church.
They drew up a ca.echiSln "lpfettered
by the ideas, prejudiccs or degmas OF
older cructls, having for its sole guide
tie Book Of Nature capitals
with the Eternal Truths taught
therein" Ii is to be a free church on
!; fec basis, AMI lie author" prove
their ingenious good faith by address
ing manifesto to parents. students
AMI public officers '.toinvile adhesion
also for Il subscription. no doubt.
New religions cannot get under way
withouta subscription-the old ones
even seem mighty reluctant to dis
pcnse with such refrcsherS. The
Book of Nature and the Eternal
Truths therein certainly make Il broad
foundation for creed-so broad. in
truth, that they would support an m
definite number. Great difficulty
will arise from this fact when the new
church begins to make proselytes.
Men of science in Italy are all enthu-
siastic Darwinitcs, and he will be pro-
claimed prophet neutrality-suspicious.
of the Eternal Truths aforesaid. But
it will be very perplexing to simple de-
yotaos if the whole theory OF their re-
lirion should need overhaullng from
time to time us new truths are discov-
cred, and old ones. eternal though
they were. become extinct. London
Standard.
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1890-03-15
Nature has AWAY mig I'M slese
tin st Tias. 4
Z: 4

There snsed 10: he an OF Il rcsid entS of
ffEavette, Me-. who was greatly given to-
spinning yarns. lie was tile Hero of Ills !
own narratives, and to hear him tcllSit3
lis adventures. exploits and liairbreadth
escapes were as wonderful rs those of /.
Baron Munchausen OF s;iabad the Sailor.
He has left tie shores Of tine and gone
to tho happy hunting grounds. bntssome
Of lis stories still survive. Here is
specimens:
One day lie was out on tie lake. near
his home fishing and happened 10 have a
two gallon stone jug in the boat. which
jug accidentally fell overheard. filed
with water AMI sank 10 the bottom.
Some years afterwar,i he was again fish,
ing near the same plaza. when. feeling \
strong bite. he tugse,l .toully ut hepole
ard pulled into the Gplt OH one end of
the line the Identical lost jug, with big
pickerel in it. 1t seems that the fish
when small swan into the jug. AMI not
finding the way out. Grew to IL large size
III its prison. When the DATED hook
Glanced 10 drop into the jug the fish
seized it and was caught.
This WAS one of the many marvellous
tales that the oil niaa used to tell. and
it hurt his feelings and ronsed his ire if
any of his auditors eyer ycntured to
question his vcracity .-Fayctte (31e.)
Social Press.
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1890-03-15

be fires, but thclmmense power neeoeG
to run street cars and to light cities
cannot be obtained without this cost.
There arc as yet comparatively few
men who have had the scientific train
ing and practical experience tolIse it
with tic best rcsults-tlie maximum
ofpower and the minimum OF danger.
it is chiefly handled by two Glasses of
men. There ere cralllls who are full
Of enthusiasm and theory, and almost
without practical knowledge or appli.
cation, and there are workmcn who
have had something to do with cleo
trical machinery, have picked up
some ideas, and blunler ahead after a
f;slion. This will change in time,
and electrical matters will be in charge
Of men from our scientific schools
who acquire tile experience readily,
and are soon fully equipped for the
business
There is one thing that | have
thought might be useful in this COLI
5ncction. .ltis.tilata thoroughly Gem
potent. scientific nian be appointed to
make. "a practical study of fires. He
should have otllegthans.tlrisss.
I ave every
itvSf OF Wo tE ssk i'll a seHeiyys:
fire .insthe city,5study " its ogress ailds
the accompanying air cul;rentssla and:
: meteorological phenomena. lecould
keep Chart oil the fire for reference
and comparison. think such man.
could, with advantage, inform himself
upon the gases, if any, generated by
building materials and the contents of
mercantile houses when subjected 10
great heat. lie could probably in.
crease our knowledge as to What con-
stitucs lircproof building.
The value Of open squares and
parks III case OF a big fire cannot be
ovcrcstimatcd. They form vantage
points from which the lircmen can
work; they allow the department 10
concentrate lis fight at narrower
point. and afford much practical as
well Us moral assistance The narrow
streets and the 'sllammy' way in
which many buildings are constructed
are constant mcnance 10 Boston.
The only way which will result in
good is for one man TO put mp Il sub
stantial structure and then for his
neighGors To do the same. and so OH
until the Glass u buildings is i'm
proved. Boston Herald.
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1890-03-15
Telephones in TOXIC.

S. OF, of Toxic, Japan, has been for
some days past examining the tele-
phone system OF Chicago. 1t appears
from his statement that there are a
great many telephones in service in
Toxic, Najasauki, Yokohama, and
other japanese cities, but the ex-
change service is very bad. 1t is to
examine the exchange service here that
Mr.: o. has stopped on his E,y way Igi home
to Japan from Europe: Mr; Mils on,
spent two days explaining the work
ings of the Chicago system, which is
to be made the model for the new cx-.
change at Toxic. EIr. Oh Is said to be.
an expert electrician, and his volumll!n,,s
GUS notes and shrewd questions VIII
doubtless have a marked effect on the
hello foundries" in his native land
Chicago Times.