Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1890-09-25
PuNGENr PARAGRAPHS.

l. IS 4
A mountain Of alabaster Is supposed
to have been discovered $50 miles north
Of Denver, Col.
First Clerk &c Business pretty good
at your placer" Second Clerk - 20,
yes! It has been so rushing that they
have not had time to pay the hands
for three weeks. !"
Proud Mother-s'At last my dear,
your. education is finished, and you have
diplomas from the highest seat OF learn
ing in the world" Cultured Daughter
(wearily)- and now I'm too old
to marry Y. Weekly.
1t is customary in Russia for trav-
elers to carry their own bed-linen. pill
lows, towels, etc. That is better than
carrying off the towels, ETC., belonging
to the hotel. as is frequently done in
this countrv.-Texas Siftings.
"A negro drayman while driving a
dray heavily loaded with merchandise
at Macon, lost his balance and fell off,
and the dray passed directly over his
neck. Strange to say, it was not broken,
but the Negroes injuries were serious.
THAT new girl of yours is rather q
shrinking, modest creature, Scadley,
isn't she?" well, should say she
was. l didn't visit her more'n week
before she suggested that turn down
the light in order that she might hide
her bushes. - Philadelphia Times.
observation-disclosures are not numerous
in Japan, I believe" Bunting-'I
don't know; but how did you form that
opinion?" Larkins-.sFrom the fact
that women are not permitted to appear
on the stage in that country. IN. Y.
World.
-Mamma-''U m-ah-my dear. This
voting man who is calling on you so con-
stantly-do you think he has any inten-
,ions?" Laura-"He doesn't know
whether he has or not. lam the only one
whose intentions are going to cut any
figure in this deal. "-Terre Haute Elk.
press.
-Pat-"This is a great scheme
Bridg et-ssPhwati s?" Pat--'I see that
man can get post-office money order
for 500 for As cents. j have dollar
left, and I'll git some av thin ordhers
this very day and sthart in business
again. This is a great country. New
Hampshire Republican.
-Bibliomaniac-s' What I " ant now is
suitable motto-please don't touch
that book; I paid forty dollars for the
binding alone-a suitable motto for this
room. What would you suggest?''
Cynicus- 'Why not adapt Coleridge-
Books, books everywhere, but not a
thing to read?' y" Harper's Bazaar.
-Villager-"Ah! Congressman Blank,
very glad l met you. l want you to in.
troduce bill compelling all brass
bands to join the militia, and in case OF
war march to the front. Congressman
'Um! Suppose such bill should be-.
come law then what?" Villager-
''Then what? Why, we'd get up war.
Good News.
"A Clue
Within a hammock snug t..ey sat
But how the two behaved.
One could not tell it was SO dark,
Had it not been for the remark
20, George you must get shaved!'
Philadelphia Press.
"A woman may fret and chafe be
cause the pudding is overdone, or get
her nerves all into snarl if her hus.
band happens to bring home company to
dinner unexpectedly, but when it comes
to wrapping up sore finger she stands
at the top of the heap, with mien free
of vinegar and touch lighter than day.
RAMS Horn.
Susie Going to the country this
summer, Bessie?" Bessie-''Yes; but
we hardly know where to CO." Susie
'Why don't you go where you went last
year?" Bessie-''To Farmer Haycut's:
That's where We were intending to 60
only we heard that Farmer Haycut
made SO much money out of keeping
summer boarders that he came to the
city to live in style. - Yankee Blade.