Telegram-herald., 1890-04-27
LAWYER ALIENS FIRST VICTORY.
A bad Case Made Good by . Profound
Opisisa fro.a the ClAssies-

A Bad Case Made Good by Prsfosad
opi.isa frox the Classics.
Private John Allen" Of Mississippi.
who became the Wit OF the house Of
representatives with the death Of Sunset
Cox. tells good story on himself Of how
he came 70 be a profound lawyer.
party Of members were telling yarns
in the CLOAK room Of the house, and when
Aliens turn came he told this one:
Il want 70 tell you OF the greatest legal
victory Of my life" said Allen. as he
lighted cigar and propped his feet
against the wall Ia true southern style.
ut was down in Iupelo during the trying
period just after the war. was at that
time q practicing lAwyer-that rs. prac-
tioed whenever had any cases to prac-
tice with. One day cid Uncle Pompey.
one Of the old negroes Of the settlement,
came into my Office and said:
Mars John, l wants you TO c'lar me.
rse gwine 70 be rested for stealth Of two
hams out'en de cross road store
"'Well. Pompey,' asked. did you
steal the hsmsS
Mars John, just took en-
Did any one see your l asked.
"'Yas, boss said the old negro dis
consolately, two ole white buckra's.'
"'Well, Pompey,' replied, i can't do
anything for you under the circum-
stances
Now, Mars john said old Pompey,
here's ten dollars. jist want you to
trv.'
We'll. consented to try" said Allen.
The case wss to be heard before an old
magistrate named johnson. He was
totally uneducated, and was moreover a
perfect dictator, and no negro ever came
before him who was not fined the maxi
mum penalty and sent to his field to ex-
plate the crime In the sweat of his brow.
The magistrate heard the case. Every
possible proof was brought to show that
Pompey stole the hams. There could be
no doubt of 1t from the testimony. / did
not put single question to any Of the
witnesses, but when the testimony was
all in l arose, and in my most dignified
manner addressed the magistrate:
May it please your honor, it would be
useless for me to argue before one who
would adorn the superior IL not the su-
preme court bench OF this grand old
commonwealth. And I may say that
those who know you best say that you
would grace even the supreme court OF
the United States. the highest tribunal
in the land. IL will be useless to dwell
upon the testimony. You have heard 1t,
and know the case as well as | do. How
ever, it may not be out Of order for me
TO call your honoSs attention to short
passage in the old English law. which
clearly decides this case, and which, fol
the moment, your honor may have for.
gotten
Then fished down In my pocket and
drew forth, with a great flourish. an old
copy OF Julius Caesar / opened ii with
great dignity to the first page and read
the line which Is familiar 70 every school
boy, 'Omnia Gallia in parties tres divisa
est.' That decides the case said
throwing the book upon the table. Thai
clearly soquits the defendant
With great dignity and solemnity
then took my seat The old msgistrat,
was completely nonplused. He looked
ct me a moment quizzically and scratched
his head Then. turning 70 Pompey, h.
raised himself 10 bis full height anc
/ said:
"'Pompey, l know you stole them hams
but by the ingenuity Of your lawyer ",
goa 10 ls; you 20. Git out, said he. as h
planted hts No Q IN ths sat Of Pompeyi
/ pants, and II you ever come here again
lawyer or no lawyer, you will sit siI
months Atlantis Constitution