davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-01-17
He Won't Try it again Very Soon.
From the Chica1o Tribune.

The man who gets Respondent and then both
ers all his friends by telling them that hs has
nothing t live for and bell that he will
commit suic 10 is the worst kind of a bore
There used to be one of them wIo went TO AL
derman Arthur Dixon with these tales. and
Dixon got tired of it.
I'm knock the business out of him. he said
The next time the man came around it was
after a rec and he was clear in the depths
I'm of no use to myself or anyone else,n he
said.
That's right" said Dixon.
81 think I'll just end my life, =" said the man.
Best thing you could do, " said Dixon. Come
with me. "
lie got him in his buggy and drove him to the
river 1t was winter, and the ice was pretty
thick.
But there's hole right out near the middle
here, said Dixon. wait till l get the hitch
ing-strap."
''Wnat forf" asked the man:
ITO tie around your neck" replied Dixon, 81
don't want to loss your body. Your family will
want it,"
Blu the waters cold"
what matter? You won't catch cold"
The man looked at Dixon reproachfully as the
latter got the strap out Of the buggy. Then he
said
Arthur, would you stand by and see me
DROWN"
Certainly" replied Arthur. I'D do anything
to oblige a frien -
We'll, if you're so ALFRED mean as that I'll
be hanged if I'll Kill myself"
He was cured. He never threatened suicide
again.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-01-17
BRIGHT BITS.

APOLLO wasn't any.bette r than he should have
been. perhaps, bat he loved the truth lie
struck the lyre.-MercAlat Trdueter.
A NEW boy PREACHER has dawned on the
land. 1t was time. His predecessors are fast
becoming fathers in Israel.-WheeliG0 Intel
HgeRcer.
THERE'S a place for everything. A man is
applauded for bawling on the stage in a man
per that would cause his arrest anywhere else.
Mansey'S Wee9tY.
IT's MEAN NAN who treads on woman's
corns IN the horse car simply because she
didn't than him for the seat he gave her,
Merchant Jrdreler.
The NERVOUS TIMIDITY of brides and grooms
can b ea1i explained since it is natural for
contracting pa ties TO have a shrinking manner.
bdnint0re american.
Az ILLINOIS WOMAN broke Der wrist trying to
raise a car window. There's pluck for you.
Most women would have crippled every man in
the car iirst.-Burl1ngton Free Press.
A MICHIGAN PAPER suggests that John L.
year-old bull John has certainly never hest
tated TO face couple Of horns-B0st0n Bud
letin.
TED-Was it hard TO tell Miss Prim you loved
her? -
Ned-Not very. The hard part came in
month later, when 1 had to tell her had
made mistake.-Edrper's Weekly
OLD REsIDzNr-I can remember the time
when we used TO have lots OF snow AMI ice in
BQ ton every winter
Ne Scomer-Sho! CAside-What unconscion-
able liars those oId-timers areO-BostOa Tran
SC tDt.
PURposELY M1sUvpER -rooD. - Brownsey -
Hello, Jonesey; glad to see you back
Jonesey.-TnanHs, old boy. Did any one miss
me while was gone?
Brownssy-ass your Good. didn't know
that nybody shot at you.-IiBle.
KNEW WHAT He WAS About Friend Ito in
ventort-Is it possible YOU have sold your in
terest n that patent for 500?
Inventor-D)n't you worry I've got an i'm
provement on it already to patent that he'll
have to pay $4,000 TO get.-C sicGgo Tribune.
MEAGER HOLIDAY FARE.-Charitable Visitor
l belong to tbs Motto Missiol, and hear you
are Woodworking, patient deserving widow
and That your children sometimes 90 without
meals. have brought you one Of our prettiest
devices TO hang on your wall to comfort you in
your gloomy moments.-LUe.
A MISSIONARY POEM
There were some little Zulus once
Who hadn't any clothes,
Who hadn't any stockings warm
To hide their little toes
And in distant country
Society for good
Decided that ne heather should
Have raiment aud have food.
So they sent pious preacher
Ont to the Zuus wild,
To teach to them the word of God
AS to a little child.
So he got his books together
And on a sultry day
H started to the country of
The Zulus, far away.
And when that preacher landed there
The z lus danced around,
They took fir him his clothes and books
And flung him to the ground.
They built of wood roaring fire,
They placed him in pot,
In vain he preached the Word of God,
Those Zulus needed not.
And the men who sent him out from home
Think he's doing heather good.
Aud those Zulls have received him and
Are filled with Christian food. w. E. NJ
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-01-17
Demands Of the Nelon Growers.

The demands Of the melon growers ap-
pear to be reasonable. At their meeting in
Albany on Wednesday, they said that
they want the railroads which first
accept the melons as freight 10 guar
nntee the weight stated il the bills OF
lading to be correct, and they want the rail-
roads TO which the melon distric 5 are i'm
mediately tribtary to assist in getting re-
Guction OF the rates of roads north Of the
Oni) and west Of the Mississippi.
1t seems from their statement that they
have been required TO pay for more freight
than they shipped. Very naturally they
the melon DIS riots can do more towards
getting rates reduced on northern and
western roads than the mslon growers, and
therefore should lend the growers helping
hand. az
The melon growing industry has come TO
be very important one, and the railroads
recognize IL a. such. II viii become much
more important if it has a sufficient amount
of G couragement Perhaps the railroads
think they are giving it all the help they
can. but are theyl Cannot they do little
more for itlli1
If the melon growers were making
great deal Of money they would be less
exacting in their demands upon the rail-
roads perhaps but as matter Of fact if is
only in exceptional years that their profits
are large AS rule their returns do not
much more than cover the interest on their
capital and meet their legitim ate expenses.
While ths southern roads are doubtless
disposed to assist the melon growers in
every way they can, and to deal with them
fairly and squarely, the northern aud west
ern roads and the commission merchants
appear t. be inclined TO make out Of them
more than they are entitled to. The melon
growers therefore have TO TO be watchful OF
their interests all the time When their
melons are ready for shipment their troubles
are not over. 1t is quite an undertake
ing to get their melons to marAet in good
condition and at fair freight rates. And
when that is done tle commission mer-
chants will get the better part of their
profits, if they are not on on the lookout.
Every business has its drawbacks, how
ever, aud only those business men succeed
who are tenacious of their rights and who
know how to mako the most Of every ad-
vantage which presents itself. The melon
growers, in seeking concessions, must act
together. and with determination, in order
to be successful.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-01-17

Nearly fourteen years after Samuel j.
Tilden was defrauded of the presidency
republican editors venture to write long
articles abous the legal right of Mr. Hayes
to that Office. but very few of them have
the hardwood to assert that repu lican re-
turning boards, and such men as Senator'S
Sherman and Chandler, did not fraudu-
lently give to Mr.. Hayes the electoral votes
of Two or three southern states. As a rule,
they speak of their unwillingneSs to go
behind the returns" That was the pretext
upon which the eight-to-seven commission
seated Mr.. Hayes. There was a great deal
Of republican dishonesty behind the re-
turns"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-01-17
Great improvements

It is not many years ago that people Travelled
on horseback or Oy STAGES: now fifty miles an
hour is not fast enough for them Forreriv
people wrote letters that were weeks in reacS
ing their destination: now the telegraph flashes
thought around the woTl J.. Formerly doctorS
bed their patients fer nearly every counrlain,-
now they uss advanced science Of the iighee.
order. Prof. Austin Flint OF B llevue ColIe1s
says: The Judicious use of alcoholic stmII-
iants IS one of the striking characteristics ~
progress in the practice Of medicine during tho
last ia century" Prof. Henry Mott p. d
T. c. s, says: by most clreful analysis I
have I. u1d Duffy's Pure II it Whiskey fres
from atuiteratiOn or foreign substances, and IL
deserves to meet with great success" The W m.
known Dr. r. ". Hutchinson Of New YORK saws.
Il highly recommend D b ffy's Pure Malt Whiskey,
and prescribe it extensively in my practice !,
Rev. b. Mills OF Princeton, Iowa, saws: y hava
used Duffy S Pure Malt Whiskey with great ben
efit TO my wife, who is a confirmed invalid. 1
know from experience IL IS a pure and most
valuable medicine. am also using il in the
case of my son, who is threatened with con
sumption. am g Presbyterian C ergynian and
a doctor of divinity, but am not afraid u re
commend Dufys Malt Whiskey as the purest
and most efficient tonic that know Of and NV
experience is a large one"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-01-17

Speaker Reed very naturally defends the
rules for the House which he framed He
says that there is nothing tyrannical about
them, but that they would simply give to
the majority the rights they ought to enjoy
Did Mr.. Reed talk in that strain when the
democrats were in the majorityl He seems
to forget or to ignore one thing, viz, that
the minority in the present congress is
almost as strong numerically as tho ma
jority. there being the difference of less
than half dozen votes. In point of ex-
perience and ability, the minority is
stronger. Speaking of rights, it would
seem that minority such as this ought not
to be shorn of them.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-01-17
Politeuess Paws.

From fhs ST. Paul PioaeeT-Press.
This door has Iatent spring. please let it
close ITSELF
Such was the sign that greeted the eyes of p
certain ST. Pau Memo yesterday morning. Il
stared at him from tho Office door OF com
paratlye stranger on whom Memo had called on
strictly business" That the business had not
proven satisfactory was palDabls by the frOwn
upon NemO's brow. As he gaze at the legend
1t occurred TO him that the author OF il has been
exceedingly curt IN his tire .tment Of himself.
Another thou yht also occurred 10 him simuita-
neously He reopened the door, inserting his
head and shoulders.
Patent spring, eh:'' he inquired Of the curt
business man.
Yes. sir was the responsive bluff
WHAT'S the combination; how does itwork'"
Its patent"
Yes, Sc. Novel continuance. Ingenious
affair, truly, How does the
well, don't hold the door open all day"
>. Closes ITSELF Ell? Then why don't it close
I say, don't hold it open; come in or go out
and shut it.
shut g; you say in your sign, Please let it
Well, that's it; let it alone and it viii shut
Yes know; but what makes it do so! Put
me on to the snap"
Go away and leave it alone, won't your
~ " nat hurt would it do were to close it,"
None at all"
Then what in thunder do you mean by ask
ing one to let it close itself! There's less wear
ana tear on the machinery if close it than
IN whistle for dog"
Good day and Memo strobe of 10 the city
nall He held consultation with friend
FRIEND was soon seen wendin his way to cruSty
business man. Made a small errand; then
examined sign.
CLOSE itself, eh;' he said This is an age Of
wonders. Edison have anything to do with it?
Is 1t real piece of ingenious mechanism"
Il haven't got time TO explain it" replied the
door owner
Well, good day" and out went investigator
NO. 2. Six other individuals followed fifteen
minutes apart, and when the cruSty business
rnaa Il ,ured up at noon he found himself Just
about an hour and haf's time out Then he
kicked the sign into kindling wood, and threw
the pieces away. The sign is not yet renewed.
once In while some one shuts tae door, but it
mainly closes itself. PDlit mess naYs.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-01-17

The latest + I'd in Philadelphia Is the for
nation by aristocratic people of societies
for the protection Of shop girls The fall
came from New York where, about year
ago, the first society of the kind was
formed. The feather workers of New
York went out on a strike; their employers
emphatically refused to raise their wages;
the feather workers would have given in
had notscme well known women formed a
society to take their part. As it was, the
employers ralsed the wages as soon as they
learned about the formation of the society.
The members keep white list" being
list of employers who treat their female
help well, AMI they are asked to patronizs
only those houses whose names appear upon
this list
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-01-17

The MORNING News is on file at the following
places, where Advertising Rates and other IN
formation regarding the Taper can be obtained;
NEW YORK CITY
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The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-01-17
INDEI TO NEW ADVERTISEMENTS

NEETINGs-Germania Savings Pank: Myrtle
Lodge No. 6, X. p; Pulaski Council No 1853, r.
A.; Landrum Lodge No. sS, f. and A. NJ
SPECIAL NoI1oEs-A Grand Ball at Masonic
Temple Jan. p; AS to Crew Of Norwegian
Banks Fylja and Arctic; Remember Saturdays
Special Prices at Heidt's.
MEDrcAL-Catharama, a Sure Cure for La
Grippe, Etc.
RAILROAD SoHEEULE- Charleston and Savan-
nah Railway.
PoTAToEs FOR SEED-W. d. Simkns.
CHEAP COLUMN ADVERTISEMENTS - Help
Wanted; Employment Wanted; For Rent; For
Sale; Found; Personal; Miscellaneous.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-01-17
Small Man-Big Appetite.
From the Milloa,aIee Evening Wisconsin.

I5COTGSIW.
A dapper little dude sat at banquet table in
this city not more t nan quarter OF century V
ton of the good things set before HIM, bat of
his capacity therefor. Directly in front of his
plate stood ore of those huge pyramids OF
lobster salad which are the delight of the emf
cures W lie at the table and their torment when
in bed. 1t was big enough to have made half a
dozen men see their great ghosts
before morning, if eaten at any time Of night
but the little dude, evidently not afraid of
ghosts eyed it longingly.
xvi you please pass us that saladg" asked
gent eman at tne right.
"Aw-youa h pawdon, he responded cycling
the ge tleman through his eyeg!ass, but that
dish is for me, l beisve-aw-the waitah will
bwing you one, pwesume"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-01-17

Editor Otis. of the Los Angeles Call
Times, is charged with having demanded
half Of the salary Of the postmaster at that
place, on the grou I'd that ne procured the
Office for him, aud that there was An agree
ment to that effect. This is the same man
who first published the Murc aison letter. 1t
is very evident That he is a disreputable
charac er, and that be has considerable in
fiuence with the President
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-01-17
Eecsste,es OF DE PnsioCloe ~ .sarannaA

Tha nosErxa News u published every day in
ahe wear and Il rived 70 subscribers an ne clfg
Al IS cents a week 81 90 G month, $ % Tor SIX
Ko1shs and $40 90 for one yesr
me NoExfro News. 6y wall, ono month.
a. 90: three months, g 50; SIX monthS- - W;
one year, SO o.
without Sunday issueh thrse months . W.
az months "a 90; one year s. o.
The MoRS1Eo NKxs, Tri-Weekly, honosyA
Wednesdays and Fridays. or Tuesdays, Thurs
cAys and Saturdays, thress monthA 81 D; SIX
months 81 50; one year. 5 90
me SrSpAY NEvs. By mad. one year, ~ 90.
The WEEKLY News, 81 Tsdil. one year. 81 y
subscriptions payable in advance. Remit oy
postal order check or registered letter Cur
f,pey sent by mail az risk of senderA
Letters and kilograms SHOULD Be addressed
HMoRxTNe News. savannah Ga
Advertising rates made known on application
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-01-17

A rumor of somewhat interesting char
acter comes from London. 1t is that Mr..
Gilbert aud Sir Arthur Sullivan have had
a disagreement, and that they will no
longer work in conjunction upon comic
operas. 1t Is also said that Sir Arthur has
proposed to Mr.. Elge 10 Field, of Chicago,
who is now in Lo don, t. take Mr.. Gill
bs-t's place, but Mr.. Field could not be
found TO deny or confirm the story.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-01-17

The Pennsylvania Railroad Company is
about to put into execution new idea
that of providing the soecial EXPIRE train
running between New York and Philadel-
phia witch a stenographer and typewriter,
who will accomm date such persons as
want letters written while on the train.
The letters will he mailed from the train.
This is an enterprsing move, and one that
might be adop ed by other roads.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-01-17

The Stewart will case could have been
ended several wees ago but for the abb
sence in France of Mr.. Charles j. Clinch,
one Of the executors of the estate. An agree
ment was made, into which ali but one or
two of the parties concerned entered, and
Mr.. Clinch is now the only one who has not
given his sanction. 1t is thought that he
will do so at once, and then this celebrated
case will become thing OF the past.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-01-17
a Bid loc rarronags.

FTUHl FHs bOSLOn I1eFutL IItu,E
Senator Ingalls, has written letter to deny
the allegation that he mas said anything derog-
alto y Of President HARRISON On the contrary,
he says he has always been, and always will be,
his earnest, loyal, faithful and cordia supporter
and friend. There is evidently a good deal Of
presidential patronage yet 10 be doled out ia
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-01-17

A medical student in Cincinnati met with
a horrible experience the other day. The
class Of which he was a member was gath
cred atout the body of an old man on the
dissectlng table. Mr.. Daily, the student in
question, glanced over the shoulder of a
fellow student at the face Of the dead man,
and instantly recognized it as that of his
father, who was a man of dissolute habits,
and whose relatives had los. track of hum.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-01-17
Contentm snt.

Bertha Packard ERglet in Good Housekeeping.
They say that am wearing my life away
Out here in the country so far from town
That gentle ways will never be mine,
Nor fashions approval, nor wide rAnown,
So long as ! WORK and my hands ar. brown.
And with homely work fill the book of Time. q"
But they do not know how happy l am
In filling the place of mother and wife
That the waving grain aud the biri's sweet call
And the pr.ttle of children is part of life.
And better, far batter. tn IN fashions strife.
Yes better than riches and farm and all,
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-01-17

The reigning social sensation in New York
is the suit of Miss Caroline J. Canmerer, of
Philadelphia, against Mr.. Clemens Muller,
of New York. for 100000 for breach of
promise Mr.. Muller is wealthy, and Miss
Cammerer is determined, if possible, to
make him pay for the liberation of her
affections. She sets the figure pretty high,
and probably she would be very we'll salts
fed with something less than 500 600
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-01-17
''Baby Bunting" Arbuckle has been heard

''Baby Bunting" Arbuckle has been heard
from agail. He is building a handsome
residence in New York, aud it is estimated
that it will cost him $25),000 The people
who live in the neignborhood have pro-
tested against the building of large bay
window extending two feet over the street
line, and work on the house has been tenn
porarily stopped. 1t seems likely that Mr..
Arbuckle will have to tear down the bay
window,
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-01-17
Standing by Senator Call.

From the Nel1 Orleans Tines-D Democrat (Dem.L
Senator Call, Of Florida, is determined to
press before the Senate his resolution for the
purchase OF Cuba. He thinks-and rightly too
that the Unitei States should not be fright
ened from this idea. il IL is a good on. simply
because some SPANISH papers pooh pooh II.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-01-17

Mrs. William B. Mott, of Pong keepse.
n. Y, celebrated her l00,h birthday last
Tuesday, and among those present was her
great-great-grandson.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-01-17
AdmInistration Peculiarities.

From the GdlUes'oH Neics tDeull.
Now il is reported that Mr. Blaine's brother.
R2beTt, Is 10 be given a desirable place az the
pubic eric. Tue peculiarities Of the present
admin 'tratlon are neDOtism In the dJnest.c
policy and hypaotism ia the foreign policy.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-01-17

If New York secures the worlds fair, it
seems propable that Mr.. Chauncey NJ.
Depew will be made the director general Of
it. A movement to that end is said to be
on foot, and, although it is stated that Mr..
Depew was not consulted about it, no doubt
is entertained of his willingness to accept
the position He is understood to have po-
litical ambition, and his friends assert that
his selection as director general would help
him along in the political world. No doubt
Mr.. Depew would manage the fair quite cor
rectly; in fact, it is hardly propaole that
many other men could be found in New
York who could do so well.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-01-17

Tbs celebrated DR.. Let's of Queens College.
Belfast, Ireland, says: "Grattan's Ginger AIeis.
OF splendid quality and may be considered first
class Lippman Bros, agents, Savannah. Ga
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-01-17

Pimples, boils and other hume are liable
to appear when the blood gets heated. To
cure them take Hoods Sarsaparilla.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-01-17
CURRENT COMMENT.
VIII he Mention Dudleyp
non DE Taslfngfon star (ReD.l.

FFoHl nc WdsItn1fon Sf1r tHepl
Senator Ingalls, viii make O few remarks a.
an early date o. elections, and it IS not stated
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-01-17

Thomas Miller (colored), of South Caro-
lima, has very strong opinion that the
colored people are not being well treated by
President Harrison. He said the other day
that not only was the administration ap-
parently opposed to appointing colored men
to office, but that it seemed to require apnli-
Giants from the south to send their photo
graphs with their applications, SO that
negro would not be appointed by mistake.
Miller is the colored statesman who is con-
testing Congressman Eliott's seat.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-01-17

Congressman Simonds of Connecticut has
carried his point--he has secured the re-
appointment of Mr.. Mont gomery, Cleve-
land official, as postmaster at Bristol, Conn. /:
and. more than that, he proposes to have
another Cleveland appointee, the post
master at Canton, Conn.,, retained, and he
will not consent to the removal of any post
master in his district before he has served
four years. Mr.. Simonds' course is exciting
the indignation of republicans who would
have no use for republican President who
did not give the offices to members Of his
ewn party.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-01-17

The Philadelphia Ns,0s speaks of "the
whites in certain parts of the south who
have determined to expel the negroes" In
what part of the south are there whites to
be found! The Nelos is either ignorant or
malicious. There is no movement in any
part of the south to force colored people to
leave.