The daily critic., 1890-06-04
PRIVATE JOHN ALLEN
The Funny Man OF the House in His
Friends Hands.

The Funny Man Of the House in His
Friends Hands.
Private John Allen, the Mississippi
wit learning that il was the spring
fashion this year. sent card TO his
home organ. the Tupelo Journal, an.
uouncing that he would not be q can.
didate for reelection says Macfarland
in the Philadelphia Record 10 was a
very pretty card, thanking the people
of his district for their former re cleo
tions and for their assurances that he
could be and would he renOminated
again, expressing his warm appreci.
alton of their confidence, but explaining
that for personal reasons, which, IL
known, would commend themselves to
all his constituents, he must withdraw
from their service.
Naturally enough, the card was no
sooner published than he began to re.
ceive protests by mail and telegraph
from his astonished and anxious con
stituents, who, never having had a ma.
tional character as a Representative in
Congress, did not propose to let him 90.
Now, II so happened that in this par.
tiCular instance the merry Congressman
was quite serious. He had several
tempting invitations to resume the
practice Of law with an assured income
two on three times as big as he gets now,
and he really meant TO accept one Of
them and get out Of the political whirl-
pool But the voice OF his district
touched him, and he went home to
parley with them. He has not formally
announced his position since his return,
but ! infer from little story he tells
that he has changed his mind.
One Of the aspirants for his place iu
case IL should be vacant, brilliant fel
low named Riley. met him on the streets
OF Tupelo with Look here, Allen, are
you going to run again or not2 took
your card to mean what II said, and /
thought ] would he a candidate If you
were really out; but keep hearing tl,at
you are going back after ALL I'd like
TO know about Il. because II you are 90.
ing back IN keen out Of H." well
now, Riley, said Allen, "I'll tell you. I
meant every word OF that card. II was
all true then, but since I've gotten
down here ] find myself sort Of in the
hands of my friends And / tell you,
Riley, there's nothing more dangerous
in politics than man in the hands Of
his friends,
Allen had no special reputation rs a
wit or orator when he first ran for Con.
grcss, and so he had time getting the
nomination. lie stumped the district
with his competitor, General Tucker,
who opened the campaign with a
rhetorical rhapsody, in which he al
luded 10 his war services, and particu.
larly described a battle In which he
had commanded the Confederate side,
beginning: "FelloW-cltizens | slept
one night 10 a tent on the mountain
side awaiting the battle on the NOR.
row. When he had finished Allen
got up and said Friends and fellow
citizens; It's all true what General
Tucker told You about his sleeping In
his tent that night before the battle.
know all about II, for | was guarding
that tent all night long In the cold and
wet on picket. And now ! just want 70
say 10 all Of you who We're Generals In
the war and slept at nights In your
guarded tents Ike General Tucker, you
vote for him. But all You fellows that
guarded the Generals tents In the wet
and cold Ike me you vote for Private
Allen"
III IS needless 10 say that 'HriYAte
Allen was triumphantly elected. and
was Private" Allen ever after. Like
most humorists Allen has face grave
almost TO sadness In repose Coming
up on the train the other day two
strangers seraped an acquaintance with
him. After observing him with inter
est for long time, Allen, noticing their
scrutiny, preserved a wooden expression
all the while until they had gotten him
well into conversation, when suddenly
he smiled. Here's your dollar, said
one stranger to the other. handing over
a silver certificate; you've won He
smiled. Then they ali smiled.