davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1890-06-20
AUMORS OF ADVERTISING,

Announcements Which Claim More Thar
the Advertiser Intended.
A scrap book of clippings from the
advertising columns of the press reveals
mass of goodly bits of unconscious
humor, of which only few may be
quoted here.
From such scrap book are taken the
following specimens. POSSIBLY some o.
them are not SO innocent of humorous.
intent as their source would wish ut
imply, but many of them must go a:
irrefutable evidence that Hibernianism:
are not confined to the land which re
joiced in its eminence as the birthplace
of Sir Boyle Roche:
Eau de cologne water" and giant
de Suede gloves" are Injuries which we
are told may be ours at ''ruinously low
prices" A Chinese laundryman will
wash and iron collar with cape fol
two cents and will sell tea and coffee
at equally low rates.
A safe company wishes a travelling
agent. 2Sx1SXS"-dimension which ar.
hard to find among men capable OF
travelling and carrying sample safes
about the country with them, and fol
whom it is therefor considered neces-
sary to advertise.
"A talented, intelligent young man OF
many years experience wishes a posi-
ton in saloon as liquor blender''-
an indication that benevolent Boston
has sent us something besides poets and
pughists.
A keeper of a clearinghouse wishes
TO rent room to a gentleman, large,
airy and square.
Among the ''rooms to rent" is also
found companion advertisement to the
famous one which announced that tive
sisters want washing since too hasty
iandlady is responsible for the allurinp
statement that she has "a handsome
room, with bath for two"
1t was possibly a printers error thai
was responsible for the naive announce
ment that Mime. Blank has for rent
room for single gentleman; beard very
moderate"
Inc landlord who advertises a fat.
with all the modern improvements. nc
children, demonstrates that he does
not know what ''all modern improve.
ments are, and may be set down as
being fully as untrustworthy as the per
son who wishes tn sell 'san enormousl,
prontabie business tor a mere song"
No bargains at this store" is candid
put sensational; and me may reasona-
oily distrust the coal dealer who asserts |
In big black letters that his tons weigh |
1000 pounds" and that his coal gives
out haatn
The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1890-06-20
A MODERN PARABLE.
They Who Smile Upon the World Sha
Grow in Beauty and Happiness.

They Who Smile Upon the World Shall
Grow in Beauty and Happiness.
Two shrubs were planted near a pal.
ing fence. The soil was good, and with
plenty of sunshine. and being protected
from the north wind, they had every
opportunity of growth and bloom. Bul
one of them was deeply offended at the
fence. 1t was ugly-so near-stark and
stubborn; and nothing would do but
that this fence must be driven away.
And so. with soured spirit it struck at
the fence day and night, begging every
wind and breeze to help it drive the
enemy off the premises. The other
shrub did not notice the fence, but
looked out cheerfully the other way,
where it saw waving trees, green grass
and beds of roses and other flowers. II
spread its sheltering foliage over nest
that had been built beneath it, fostered
group of violets that sought its
shadow, and loaded up every breath
that came with fragrance to be carried
off to any and all who would receive it.
Days passed, and bluebird that had
watched them from its perch assumed a
little reckoning, and this was it's conclu-
sion: The fence stands and is unhurt.
The plant that was cheerful and tried
to be useful, turning itself kindly to-
wards the open world beside it, is hand
some in wealth of foliage and flowers.
The birdlets beneath it are chirping its
praises, and the violets are blessing it
day and night. But the one that fretted
at the fence and fought it, is torn and
shielded, and it's buds that might have
been beautiful are blighted and black
ened. 1t is always so. They who smile
upon the world shall grow in beauty and
happiness; but they who fret, and scold
and fight, while the objects of their
buffetings remain unchanged, wear
themselves away into tatters and decay.
United PresbY terrain.
The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1890-06-20

sMisfits bought and sold" strikes the
reader as foolish bit of candor on the
part of the advertising tailor, and when
we read that 1--WE can not begin to sup
ply the demand for our S. pants" one
begins to wonder why "we" advertise.
A firm on the Bowery wants "putter-
on at good wages" A facetious young
stenographer, who dots his is and
crosses his t's," and who wants place
in a large business house, is equaled
only by the Waterman out OF employ
ment, to whom wages and sleep are no
object"
A physician advertises for an "office
bow who can drive" A person who
does not give his business, wishes to en-
ploy good, steady man who has 5000 at
S12 month. An author of standing"
will write a book on any subject, for
anybody, for moderate pay."-N. Y. san.
The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1890-06-20
SOME MISTAKE THERE.
a Cincinnatian Meets a Mudsill and Hup.
the Floor.

a C1nc1nna tian Meets q Mudsill and Hup.
the Floor.
We were having good time in a St.
Louis gymnasium one night when the
question OF self-defense came up to be
argued by half a dozen different per-
sons. Among them was man from
cincinnati, who contended that gentle
man ought always to be able to thrash
mudsill, provided the latter would make
fair scrap oft. Two or three opposed
this theory, and to test it the Cincin-
NATHAN offered to strip while committee
went out to pick up a victim. It was a
committee of one, and went out unon
the street and picked my man han
hazard. He was going past with a
bundle under his arm, and said to him.
will you come in and box man five
or six rounds for five dollars?"
Regular tighter?" he asked.
mo, only an amateur
I'm your huckleberry."
He was plasterer. and he had some
OF his tools in the bundle. He got
ready without seeming to care who his
opponent was to be, and as they entered
the ring it was seen that thew were
about even in size and weight. Time
was called, and the fun began. 1t didn't
last long, however. Inside of two min
utes the plasterer planted straight
highlander at the others nose, which
hoored him and kept him on his back
for sixty seconds.
us that alp" calmly inquired the
plasterer as he took off the gloves.
Eyes. Here's your money"
Thanks. Good night"
When the Cincinnatian came to and
got his nose repaired he sat for a long
time wondering how it all came about.
Cant you explain it2" he was finally
asked.
''No"
SWELL, can"
"What is it?''
HE was mudsill all right enough.
but you are no gentlemanl"-N. Y. Sun.
The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1890-06-20
LADIES AS SERVANTS,
success of an Experiment Tried In an En-
glish Family.

gllSh Family.
1t is so often said that the plan of ex
gaging ladies as domestic servants doe.
not succeed that it is satisfactory t.
near at least one case where the pla1
mas been tried most satisfactorily bv {
lady who has domestic establishment
ooth In London and in the country
Inc eternal servant question cropping
up In a recent conversation with this
lauy writes lady representative,
asked her how the plan of employing
educated women of the upper classes as
servants had answered. SIT has been
entirely successful" was the replv.
ana my servants are now always ladies.
L nave one, housemaid, charming
GIRL who is the daughter of a medical
man. and all of whose male relations
are professional men, and who does her
WORK as thoroughly and as we'll as any
Ordinary servant could be expected to
do it."
Then you do not find that after the
glamor OF novelty is worn off the LADY,
servants begin to find it rather unpleas-
ant to do mental work?" "Not in the
iedsG' Ii tney are real ladies land it is.
VI course, only in cases where they are
that 1t can succeed) they will know that
mental work does not lower them. OF
course try to avoid giving them So
called dirty work as much as possible.
For instance, backing CRATES is very
unpleasant work, and very ungrateful
work, too, for the result is never lasting
ana never particularly effective. /,
therefore, have only CRATES decorated
with tiles as much as possible, and with
the smallest part of iroHwork requiring
backing Again, in order to avoid
scruobing, have the floors covered
with material which only requires
wlping. A great many arrangements
can be made in this way to make house
work less hard and unpleasant. and If
We, the mistresses, would only spend
The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1890-06-20
At a Boarding House.

Scientific Boarder-There are no
nerves of taste in the roof of the mouth.
If we wish to get the full taste of-ot
bread and strip, for instance, we must
put it in the mouth with the sweet side
down.
Practical Boarder-Ah! I suppose that
is why we all eat this bread and butter
with the buttered side up.-N. Y.
Weekly.
The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1890-06-20

He had asked her the momentous
question with great warmth. "You
know he said. after a pause. .tbat a
sort answer turneth away wrath
That's very true" she replied, with
sarcastic tinge in her voice, 'sbut a soft
question doesn't" Washington Post.
The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1890-06-20
FIRESIDE FRAGMENTS,

If little pulverized borax be added
to the water in which wooden blankets
are washed, the dirt will be got rid OF
more easily than by any other means.
-Hasty pudding requires not less than
fsur hours cooking at 212 degrees to be
digestible. If not so cooked it is not
mastered by the stomach, and becomes
an irritant.
Every one who prizes good health
and intends to maintain it should in
dulge in dry rub upon going to bed.
A flesh brush is good for the purpose,
but good rough towel is better. The
object is to keep the pores open and in
healthy activity.
To can milk bring it to, or near, the
boiling point-best done by placing the
dish of milk in vessel of water, when
all danger of burning or boiling over
will be avoided. Boil it down richer
If you wish, and place in cans while
hot exactly as you do with fruits.-N.
Y. Observer
1t is impossible to wash bed quilt
which is filled with cotton batting with
out its becoming more or less hard and
disagreeable, and this should only be
attempted in the case of light ones.
Heavy ones should always be tied, so
that the cotton can be easily removed
when the covers are soiled.-Rural New
Yorker
Mutton croquettes: Carefully re-
move all skin and bones; chop fine and
season with salt and pepper. If no
gravy were left, moisten with butter;
make into round or oval balls with the
hands; roll each in egg and cracker
crumbs, and brown in very hot lard.
Cold veal can be substituted for mutton
In any of these receipts with equally
good results.-Country Gentleman.
The first consideration in the man
agement of the laundry is to have good
utensils in proper order for work. The
tubs should be sufficient in number, of
good size, and always kept clean. The
wash board should be free from nails
that might tear the clothes. The wash
bench should be firm and high enough
to prevent fatigue in bending too low
over the tubs.-The Home.
-Corned Beef Balls: Stew slice of
onion in cupful of the liquor in which
the beef was boiled, then strain the
liquor into saucepan, add spoonful
OF butter which has been rolled in
Drowned -four until it has formed into a
smooth paste, and stir constantly until
1t boils. Now stir in two well-beaten
eggs, and then two cupfuls of the
corned beef which has been chopped I'M
til rather fine. Season to taste, and
put 1t away in cool place where it will
become stiff. Then it is to be made into
fiat cakes, which must be dipped into
wellbeaten egg and then in pounded
crackers or bread crumbs, and fried in
boiling lard.-The Housekeeper.
The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1890-06-20
REIGN OF THE RED.

rhe Popular Color of Next Season Settled
Upon by Ultra Fashionables.
1t is always matter of interest, es-
,ecially to ladies of extensive ward
obes, to know at the beginning of the
eason what is likely to be she popular
;olor, for there is seldom or never sea-
ION that there is not some color that
axes precedence of all others in fem
nine attire. Last summer it was gray
md the summer before it was blue.
This summer it is to be red. The most
lowing color will make of the most
fashionable girl of the coming summer
being so radiant that it will hardly be
afe in any rural Reorganization for her
o encounter any thing wearing horns.
But there are reds and reds. All re-
member the cardinal summer, but this
ime the red of reds is to be pigeons
,lOod."
A very stylish arrangement for bru-
iettes will be this red in light silk.
deliberately trimmed with black lace.
will also be worn by light blondes,
ust by itself or with becoming trim
ming, as, for instance, very narrow gilt
'raid. Narrow gilt braid, by the way.
VIII be one of the most fashionable and
extensively used trimmings of the sea-
ION. Such gown, of course, involves
complete costume, and there will be
ed hats and even red shoes to match.
Some OF the most stylish people, who
IRE not altogether sure about the COM
,iete investiture in red, have already
compromised by getting red silk waist:
'r shirts to wear with different skirts
Ind made pretty much the same as the
'louses of last season, with the excep-
ION that the shoulders are not quite So
high nor are the sleeves so large. The
avorite sleeve is quite full from tho
boulder short distance down, where
gathered into acuff.-Chicago Times.
lis there doctor aboard?" oueried
lanky Texan, who had stopped tho
train in the middle of the prairie.
Ihree men stood up. Gall right" said
'he Texan; II am very glad. If there
IS any disturbance you gentlemen will
De handy, for I'm going to rob the
train. "--Harpers Bazaar.
What is the matter with that
oaby?" growled an irascible husband, as
The little one persisted in bowling and
ticking to the extent of it's little might.
The matter is. sir" calmly replied the
Sife, as she strobe up and down the
1oor. the matter is that this baby in
1erlts your temper" And the husband
'eturned to his paper with gloomier
'aee than before. Boston Courier,
The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1890-06-20
There are to-day roval and imperial

There are to-day royal and imperial
orders in the world, with prodigiouS
assortment of collars, crosses, stars and
other fancy insignia, laid up for the
tickling of human ambition. The Oldest
is ST. Andrews order, first instituted in
England in 7s7, disused afterward and
re-established in 1910.
The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1890-06-20

There is family in Gibson, Ga, the
head OF which asserts that there are 1000
LADY finger" peas eaten at their table
each day for dinner by actual count
The head Of the family claims that he
devours 700 Of this number,
The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1890-06-20

HE was mudsill all right enough,
but you are no gentlemanI'-N. Y.S Sun
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1890-02-19

The Tow-Boat Port Eads Runs Into a
Bridge Pier Mt Memphis, Tenn, and
Sinks.
MEMPHIS, Tenn, Feb. 1.-THE tow
boat Port Eads, Captain Davis, of the
st. Louis & Mississippi Transportation
Company, was sunk Monday morning at
Z o'clock at the site of the new railroad
bridge, two miles below the city. She
carried crew of about forty men, and
for time the widest rumors prevailed,
the loss of life being placed at from
twenty-five to thirty-five, but it is now
known that only six persons lost their
lives.
The boat was en- route from Cairo to
New Orleans towing seven grain-laden
barges, when she struck the east pier
of the bridge now in course of erec-
ton and sunk within few min
utes. Ten of the crew were taken to
the United States Hospital near by,
suffering from cuts and bruises. and the
remainder were cared for at the houses
along the shore. The Port Eads was
valued at $50, 600. The barges and con-
tents are uninjured.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1890-02-19
LATER.

SECRETARY BLAINE resumed his Off
cial duties at the State department in
the 18th for the first time since his re-
cent bereavements.
THE con tract for three and one-half
miles of elevated railway in Chicago
has been let to Carnegie, Phipps s. Co.,
of Pittsburgh. The price will be be-
tween $500, 900 and 81, 600, 600.
THE liabilities of the New York firm
of Franklin, Woodruff & Co., which
failed on the 18th will be about $500, 600,
with nominal assets enough to more
than cover that amount.
THE distillery plant of ]. B. Mating
ly's Sons, Louisville, KY, was sold at
auction on the 18th in consequence of
an assignment some months ago. The
price paid for it was S125, 900.
l.. EDWIN DUDLEY, secretary of the
Citizens Law and Order League of the
United States, announces that the eighth
annual meeting of the league will be
held in Toronto, Can, on the 22d, and
Esd, and oath inst. Many of the most
prominent speakers of the United States
and Canada will participate in the pro-
ceedings.
A MEETING of the American glass
manufacturers was held at New York
City on the 18th, the leading plants of
the country being represented. The
proceedings were secret, but it is be-
lieved that trust was agreed upon.
REPORTS read at the thirteenth annual
meeting of the Covenant Mutual Benefit
infi thn inc do .
of Odd Fellowship in this country-(re-
Gently held at Galesburg, Ill., shows
that during the last year the member
ship, now $4,000, has made net increase
of over 1000 the largest gain for one
year in the history of the organization.
IN the Senate on the l2th Mr.. Sherman called
up the joint resolution congratulating the peo.
pie OF the United States of Brazil on their
adoption of u republican form of government,
and II was unanimously adopted. A Joint reso-
luton was also adopted requesting the Presi.
dent TO invite the King OF the Hawaiian
Islands TO select delegates to represent the
King in the Pan-American Congress now as.
sJmbled at Washington. At noon the Senate
went into secret session, which lasted up TO the
hour OF adjournment. e. -. The House met in con.
tinuation of Tuesdays session and debate in
the proposed code OF rules was renewed. Az
ll:b5 the House adjourned End at noon the ses.
sion OF Wednesday began The journal having
been read, Mr., Boutelle, OF Maine, asked unani.
nous consent that 1t be approved. The Demo.
Gratis objected and roll call was had.
The journal was approved-yeas 1l0, nays l. the
Speaker counting 79 Democrats as present and
not votirg. Discuss on OF the new code OF rules
was cont nued. Messrs. McCreary, of Ken
tuclfy; Buckalew, OF Pennsylvania; Cummings,
OF New York; Chapman, OF Michigan; caruth,
OF Kentucky; Henderson. OF Iowa, and others
participated in the debate. AT eleven p. m. the
House adjourned.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1890-02-19
F0RgSGN,

THE annual report of the Canadian
Minister of Militia and Defense shows
that the active militia force on June so
last numbered 3G, ,395 members, of whom
26, $40 belong to rural battalions and TO-
055 to city battalions.
SIX Italian cardinals will be created
in March in view of the minority of the
italian cardinalate as compared with
the number of foreign cardinals.
The proposed issue of Ct silver notes
by the Bank of England has been aban-
doned on account of the opposition Of
the leading bankers.
THE French government has decided
to sentence the Due d'Orleans to two
years imprisonment after which he will
be pardoned and exiled.
TWENTY THOUSAND dock laborers held
a meeting at London on the 9th and
were addressed by number of promi-
nent labor leaders on the subject of a
possible renewal of the great dockmen's
strike. 1t is alleged that the employers
have been shirlling the performance of
their part of the agreement upon which
the settlement of the great strike was
based Most of the men seemed eager
to strike, but the leaders counseled
moderation.
THE Bank of England has been au-
thorized to increase its issue of notes by
e250, 900 on condition that it makes
similar increase of it's securities.
AT Hull, Ont, on the evening of the
11th mob of over thousand French
Canadians attacked small band of
Protestant evangelists who were holding
religious services in mission building.
Six of the evangelists, including two
ladies, were seriously if not fatally
injured. The remainder escaped through
back window and fled to Ottawa
Great excitement prevails over the out
rage.
The British Parliament opened on
the 11th, and the Queens speech was
read from the throne by the Lord High
Chancellor. The relations between Her
Maiesty's government and the other
powers are declared to be of most
friendly nature.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1890-02-19
A GENTLE VICTORY.

Mormon Rulo In Salt Lake city at an
nicipnl Election The victors Celebrate.
SALT LAKE CITY, Utah, Feb. IL
Mondays election has been the most
tiercely-contested one ever known in
this city. The issue was straight ono
as to whether the Mormons or
Gentiles should control the municipal
government Each party fought as if
for life or death, and the Gentiles won
glorious victory.
The Gentiles can hardly realize this
Importance of their victory. For moro
than forty years the people here have
been subject to Mormon control, and
the fact that they have now thrown off
that yoke is difficult for them to fully
comprehend. The Gentiles take the re-
suit quietly while the Mormons arc
completely dazed by their defeat.
1t was anticipated that an attempt to
challenge and arrest some voters would
result in riot and bloodshed. This fear,
however, was not realized and though
the excitement was intense only six ar
rests for illegal voting were made, and
these were accomplished without any
demonstration on the part of either
side
Tho polls closed at 6 o'clock and the
Liberal leaders posted u bulletin in the
windows at headquarters claiming n
majority of 1900 The news soon spread
over the city. Flags were run up on
every Gentile building and fire.
works were exploded from hun
dreds of house-tops. Cannons doomed
and bon-frcs were seen up
on every corner, while hundreds
of men paraded the streets with drums
and torches. No such scene was ever
before witnessed in Utah. The Nor
mons remain indoors and have nothing
to say except that the election was car
ried by fraud and that they will con-
test it. They admit defeat, but claim
that the Gentle majority will not ex-
ceed 400.
At 10 o'clock the crowds upon the
streets became so great that the street
cars were compelled to stop running. A
spirit of good nature prevails. The
saloons were closed and not drunken
man was to be seen upon the streets.
Official returns from every precinct
but one give George NJ Scott, the Gen
tile candidate for mayor, 1,24O votes,
and Spencer Clawson, the Mormon can
didate, 532 votes. Returns from the
last precinct will probably swell Scotia
majority to $50.