Thomas County cat., 1890-08-28
HUMOR.
The after-clap-An encore.

l nOmOK.
THE after-clap-An encore.
SPEAKING about circular letters,
o is one.
AMIK shake -discharging the driver
OF wagon.
Il CAN'T see what you are driving
at, was the remark of blind horse.
3TH1s is hard set, as the hen said
when she was trying to hatch a porce-
lain egg.
FIRST fisherman = What luck?
Second fsherman-None at all; can't
get the cork out.s
WnL-Don't you think Miss Plain
homely? BILL used to think so be-
fore I learned she was an heiress.
WELL, Tommy, do you know that
You have got another little brother this
morning?" @Oh! have I! Does mother
know?"
BuLINGs-Well, my boy, are YOU
satisfied with married life? Benedict
Satisfied? Why, I am perfectly
satiated with it. -.
NWHAr shall we do to get our young
men to the front ?" asks writer. The
answer seems plain: Induce the older
ones to teke back seats.
SHE-I do believe Grace Thorndike
gets engaged to as many as twenty fell
lows every summer. He-Aha! A kind
of three days grace, as it were.
AN old sailor at the navy yard OBJ
served that there is one advantage in
Arctic explorations. In the face Of the
gravest perils one can always keep
cool.
A MATTER of paste-"Ye see Missus
Stookey's d'monds yit?" "Yes; but I
b'lieves dey's paste" II shouldn't
wondah. Her mans billposter, any
how, ye know"
MINISTER would not consult Elder
Close on the subject. He never gives
assent to anything. Deacon-No. I've
noticed that when the collection plate
is passed around.
WHATS the reason, doctah, that you
signs yourself Jawge Washington
Jones, P. D. o." Dose yere lettahs
my title. amt no simple NJ. D. Ise
a Pill Doctor of Quinine in de swamps."
CIRCUMsTANTIAL evidence-Mrs. Yer
ger Ito colored servant)-D you know
when Col. Yerger came home last
night? SAM dunno, mum, but when
tuck his boots at Z o'clock, they
was warm.
JOHNNY, JOHNNY" said the minis
ter, as he met an urchin one Sun day
afternoon carrying string of fish. "Do
those belong to you?" "Ye-yes, sir,
you see that's what they got for chas-
ing worms on Sunday"
,SHE-Qh, Just look at that bonnet,
Clarence! buy it for me, there's
q dear. It's the dearest little thing in
the world. He-One moment. Does
the superlative adjective refer to th9
price, or to the bonnet
aJoHs,n said Mrs. Billus, anxiously,
"you whipped Willie too hard. His
spirit is utterly broken" what makes
you think 500" inquired Mr.. Billus.
"He asked me little while ago if I
didn't want to cut his hair"
Mrs. MERRITT hear your daughter
lost her place as typewriter. Did she
make so me mistake? Mrs. Badger
Yes, she fell in love with one of the
clerks before she had given her en-
ployer time enough to take liking to
her.
A COMPROMISE.
"Och. Father O'Reilly," says Patrick, so slyly,
Its how,y Saint Peter | wish you could be;
Ye'd let into heavin the likin's Of me-"
mo, Patrick don't fatter yourself on that
matther,"
Says Father o'Reilly, Il know ye too well.
The gates OF the divil, to bar ye from hell"
Mr.. GoTHAM-It is time for us to
start for Mrs. De Avenoo's-but, ahem!
Don't you think you ought to spruce
up little? Col. Kaintuck (of Louis
ville)-Oh! ali! Yes, certainly. just
wait a moment. until 1 take fresh
quid and reverse my cuffs.
PROGRESSIVE conversation parties"
have been introduced as a new form of
amusement. A progressive conver-
sation party takes place when three
young ladies meet for the first time in
three days; and when man finds that
his wife has used his razor to open q
fruit can, he's that kind of party"
all by himself.
WH1FFERs-Ah! How do you do?
Well, out with it, old man. What sue
cess? You said you were going back
to your native town to hunt up your
first love, from whom you parted years
ago-the airy, fairy Lillian you raved
about, you know. Did you find her?
Bliffers (sadly)-Y-e-s. She's drawing
$40 week as the champion fat woman
of dime museum.