Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-03-23
AS 1T IS WRITTEN.
Peculiar Specimens of English Found
at a Local Druggists.
ORDERS WRITTEN on ANYTHING,
Prom Bits of Tissue Paper to Huge Pieces of
Heavy Cardboard.
As GREAT A VARIETY IN THE SPELLING

AS GREAT A VARIETY In THE SPELLING
There are some persons in this world who
have natural gift of turning everything
into writing of some kind or other. Some
who are lovers will write and write day
after dav gems of sentiment and gush,
meaningless and stupid to anyone but those
they are intended for. They will be fondly
treasured up in the secret hiding places of
some casket or trunk, to be conned over
long after, with many sweetly sad remem-
brances of happy days, and many are they
whose hair is beginning to show the CLINT
of silver, who have felt the heart throb and
the eve grow moist with tears as the memory
reverts TO bygone memories at sight of let
tiers written by a hand now cold in death;
or mavhap, the recollection is not so pleas
ant when something of the same nature is
flashed up in court as incontrovertab.e evil
dences in favor of the plaintiff in breach
of promise suit.
But people will write, and often such
things as they would rather not have writ
ten. Statesmen will write letters which de-
stroy them politically long afterwardj store
keepers and merchants will concoct delicate
oftener, by which the recipient is not made
the happier.
QUITE DIFFERENT THING.
But it is not to letter-writing or corre-
sponjence OF this kind that this space is de-
voted. During the working up OF another
matter, short time since, a well-known
druggist of this city, who is something OF a
curio collector, called the attention OF DIS
70 hoN of
rather odd-looking missives, written on all
sorts of material, from onion skin tissue or
parchment down-or-up to great chuncks of
Wallpaper Each of these was a genuine
order for materials handled by the
dealer referred to. Some were evidently
written bv men or women whose chirography
was GOOD enough, but their knowledge of
the English language evidently much ab-
hreyiated. Others had neither chirography
or orthography. The whole made up
quaint collection, at once interesting and
amusing.
Some of these notes, copied verbatim, are
herewith offered, in the hope that THE DIS
PATCH readers may enjoy them as much as
has the writer.
The first is written on a ragged piece of
note paper, ornamented here and there with
huge ink stains. The legend on it is as fol- |
lows:
Pleas Civ her Five Cent Worth Gumma-
tragic.
This was an easy one for the druggist, as
the endeavor to express gum tragacauth was |
quite clear.
The next was most likely the work of |
painter who subscribes for and reads a Ger |
man newspaper, as the note was written on |
the corner of newspaper of that kind. He |
wanted:
g. cents worth of AldeInerin blue.
A VERY BAD CASE.
Ultramarine vas the article desired. 1t |
is to be hoped that the writer's knowledge |
of his art was more extensive than his En-
glish.
Rheumatism had very likely stricken the
writer of the following recipe:
Oil of turpontino and Spirits OF Kanver: |
eckel parts.
Turpentine and camphor used to be a
staple liniment remedy, and they are evil
IDENTIFY tn: ingredients wanted, although not
exactly so expr :ssei.
The next correspondent had pain in the
stomach, so something warming was sent
for, in this way:
five Cent Worth of Gemmagich ginger.
Jamaica ginger was the article desired.
A fax-seed poultice is considered one of |
the best remedies in the world for certain |
but there are different forms in
which it is prepared. The writer of the fol-
lowing knew exactly what was wanted:
Plcse give the bearer the hole hax-seed.
The next gem that came to light from the
box was one written on a small piece of
rather peculiar fne-lined note paper. The
writer thought so well of it that he signed
his name which will not be given here, but
the order itself was as as follows:
Cent Worth Pulvedriced Lickrich Rute.
Pulverized licorice root was desired, but
the druggist admits he had suite time Of
it translating the first word.
HARD TO RECOGNIZE.
Now comes one written on a scrap of
cigar dealers license. The author wanted
q medicine known to everybody, but it is
doubtful if everybody will recognize it as it
written:
Bottle Of Magneschie to fisig.
The next writer, evidently another paint.
er, wanted benzine, but as he wrote "ben-
Sian, +" the druggist was cornered tor some
.ime or until be smelled of the can sent
With the order.
A beauty is now picked out. 1t is writ
en- on piece OF wall paper, and the author
vas seemingly so tickled over the produc-
ion that be has ornamented the border with
odd little designs, to show that he was
equally original in another art. This is
What he sent:
Sarfern tea.
3 paragrac.
Many hair was wrenched out of the
head, worrying over this order,
put it was finally made out TO mean three
,ents' worth Of saffron tea and the same
mount of paragoric.
Then came one that the druggist thinks it
a shame to leave unframed. The writing is
lear enough. 1t reads thus:
give me white pills for cts to fissig.
Inasmuch as there are any number of diff
erent varieties of pills of that description-
he druggist was of the opinion that the
,nly wav left for him TO do was to send SAM
,les of the different kinds, and let the sick
,erson test them until suited.
The next one wanted chlorate of lime.
That was the reason the order is written
GLORY Lynn"
Then comes request for pulverized rhu-
1zrb. 1t was thought that pulverized could
rot be exaggerated more than the Ecorice-
oot patron had done, but the following
proves the contrary:
polbrize Ruburb.
AS HE WANTED IT.
The next is on tissue paper. and the
uthor, wanting dlitzpowder writes it:
One Settlers powder.
Now a beautiful Christmas card is shown.
n which is inscribed in a running hand |
hat insists on making compound words of
five Ammonia in the bottle
Ssenswerth roaskshellsvalt.
The last line, translated into ineligible