The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1890-08-29
GREAT. Is OYAND0 ].
But the World Does Not Know
Him Nor Care For Him.
BAD CASE OF LIVER COMPLAINT.
A Correspondent Makes Some Good Sugges-
tons That Should be Taken Advan-
tage of by the Union Pacific.
TO the Editor of THE HERALD:

To the Editor of THE HERALD:
The Tribune of Sunday last contained
letter from 30. j. H" that was headed
''Great Salt Lake." but which should have
read Great O. J. HOLSTER" Instead OF
being a letter on the lake, it was sore
headed growl that the Union Pacific, the
Utah Central and sundry persons had for
years and years and years been stealing
his descriptions of Salt Lake from his own,
own copyright pamphlets without giving
him credit for the same, without mention
ing his name even, or If so, only in the
most brief and stingy manner. What Is
the matter with HOLSTER! Is it a disease,
or was he born raw and never skinned
over. One would think that it was ne who
made the heavens, the earth, the seas and
all therein in six days. and all very good,
and is mad all the time because the world
of man does not worship him. He might
as well accuse Jehovah of not giving him
credit for creating Great Salt lake as to
accuse men of stealing from him what he
took from others without permission.
The fellow seems to think that Utah is
his meat. Well, he has lived on it SO long
that perhaps his idiosyncracy in that par
tlcular is not surprising. But it is rather
conducive to merriment to see the egotisti-
cal snarling of the man because the world
does not know him or care for
him. He recognizes in "every article
published on the subject (the
lake, sentences and paragraphs, word for
word of my (his) own inditing of years
| ago." 1t makes him sour and he does not
enjoy the bathing. But in the next
sentence he steals phrase 1.-THE silent
bivouac of the dead'' without any pertur-
ations of conscience. OF course it is common
property and he has the same right to it
that others have. But so has Lomax,
Strahorn and all others the same right
to what Hontan, Irving and Fremont said,
that he has. Besides, ii his copyright is OF
any value why does he not collect damages?
In book that he helped to make, abusing
the Mormons, it is recommended that the
government double the fines imposed upon
convicted cohabs and diuide them apith the
informer. That looks as Ii HOLSTER had a
little scheme on hand to put money in his
purse in addition to the regular fees at the
public crib
If HOLSTER is not sized up at his own
estimation of himself it is his own fault
He came to Utah as a government officer.
Now, an officer of the United States who
allows himself to show any partiaity is
unfit for the position he occupies even If 1T
be only deputyship. Hollister has
blistered his lips for years with hot male
dictions upon the Mormon people. He was
here simply to do the work of his Office.
He was getting his living from taxes paid,
in part at least, by the Mormon people,
Manly modesty and common civility, due
from representative of the nation to its
people, would have led him to do his duty
in his office and leave the shortcomings or
| lnpncOyni of ha 70 ha attapGn1
to by other United States officials appointed
, for that purpose But apparently he was
out of both those characteristics
and hence has ever been loud
: mouthed, meddlesome and abusive
towards the Mormon people. Egotlsm
rare, raw, gross and uninviting, has kept
him stewiDg all these years until now he
has boiled ary and burnt to the pot, and,
of course, is crusty and impalatable He
should put himself to soak in the Great
Salt lake, for a year or two and heal him
self. Then let him start out with a clear
understanding that ne is not the only indi-
vidual in Utah; treat people respectfully
as his office requires that he should, and in
: time he may find that this old world is 6
daisy, and this life worth living, even if he
is not recognized at his own estimate OF
:, | himself.
The recommendation that he put himself
in soak in the lake suggests the reflection
that in the letter referred to he had u
grow, and growl even about the bathers
They did not do as he did, and he didn't like
n it, so there now. Why didn't they look a
o him ''treading," and catch on? What made
S them lay on their backs with ''fair round
k bellies with good fat capon lined" shamins
s the sun? When they rolled over it was
T worse, and made him sick to his stummik
+ so it did. Tread, tread water damn you
# or Pll reply to you with IA club" vol
: ''conscienceless fakirs,'' he seems to hav,
J. been saying to them all the time. He ough
IS to remember that the people of to- day hav,
It not been on the tread mill and in the swim
: of Office holding as long as he
a and may prefer to enjoy batt
: without interference from the tax
} gatherer. But there is one recommendation
IS in the deputy collectors instructions tt
e bathers in Great Salt lake that would like
e much to see him practising in the brine at
j. say three fathoms' depth. If he will give
, an exhibition l will go out to witness it
a He has been growing in his letter at tn
/ bathers for daring to lie down horizontally
IS upon the water, and telling them that the
N must keep the perpendicular position al
) the time. Then he adds: THE trick is t
k learn to paddle and move about, turn aroun
lie and roll over, and change end for end, an
= swim If one wants, and keep the lowe
Or parts deep in the water"
L. If one is perpendicular and must ''tur
round" to please the deputy, L can Sc
how that might he DONE He has only t
back water with say the left fin and Civ
Re way, or pull, with the right-and there b
~ is, turned round in jiffy. But to keep th
l. perpendicular, with the lower parts dee
r. in the water and turn over'' is anothe
IL kind of founder. That is a "trick " ths
u / do not see how even the deputy, accom-
a. plishei aQuabat as he appears to be, O
a. paper, can perform without breaking water
~ or perhaps worse, with those clover parts
that he insists must be kept 'deep in tn
waters all the time. Similarly am b
staggered with the effort to see how Oh
=. can calmly, deliberately. in prayerfu
I'd merry or even soreheaded mood, go int
tv Great Salt lake where the water is invent
!. feet deep, keep himself straight up an
err down, with 1.-The lower parts deep in til
n water" aud then change en-
+ for end for any considerab
O. length of time without serious ris
r. of getting more bilge water than it woul
ps be safe for an ordinary vessel of wratl
ng to have in his hold, especially of that kin
IS that "trick'' III be thar. BY the way,
Ie suggest to the railroad men that they e.
all gage the deputy for Sunday afternoC
no performance in Great Salt Lake" in tn
he near future. How would this look for 4
announcement:
ATTRACTION EXTRAORDINARY.
!, ''Colonel'' o. J. HOLSTER has been Ell
u gagged to give an exhibition in Great Sa
III, Lake, outside of the pavilion. Sunday
eu y. m. This artestic performer will exh
uc bit his new copyright perpendicular tri,
'e- of changing end for end with his low,
no parts deep in the water. The band w
y play "Down went MtGinty!''
~ CHARLES ELLIS.