Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1890-01-12
WHAT WOMEN LIKE IN MEN.
SOME OF THE REASONS WHY MEN AND
WOMEN DO NOT MARRY.
Women Prefer Men of Strength and Man
illness to Carpet knights
How to Woo.

One DlS HAL was SSpSCidif OohOAlouo w
him on account of a certain swagger, awk-
ward movements and a loud voice; and yet
a sweet, refined, timid, gentle little woman
looked upon this Titan with awe and ad-
miration. My friend, being re6ned-a
man of fine literary ability, much cultiva-
tion and low voice-could not admire
this man, and could see nothing in him
that any woman would admire.
To tell the truth, women do admire big
men; the majority of them care more for
physical than for intellectual strength.
Manliness, even if it approaches in appear
ance consciousness of brute strength,
never yet failed to appeal to woman, no
matter how refined she may be. This ad-
miration of physical strength is only one
of the many forms of the worship of power
that is inherent in every human breast.
Women tire of "carpet knights as they
tire of each other They do not mind a
little abruptness, little awkwardness
from a man, provided always it carries
with it a certain amount of Difference to
themselves. And if he have the reputa-
j
are lust SO much the more tattering, be-
cause they are sincere. How can the at
tentions OF a man who is always devoted
to some woman be complimentary? They
are quite the reverse. There are many
women who never become seriously inter-
ested in men of this type; they prefer a
more robust sort Of man.
After all, perhaps there is more in that
| theory of counterparts, which is ex-
pounded in the very brilliant novel of that
name, than some of us believe. A woman
likes man, first, because he is a man ;
and, secondly, because his strongest char
acteristics are the opposite of hers.
Grant Allen seems to think that women
do not wish to marry that they can, but
won't. He says it is not the fault of the
men, but of the women. If all women
say as does Mary j. Holmes, that she
could not marry man who drinks, gam
bles or swesrS, | suppose it must be the
! fault Of the men. l wonder if there is
mani exclude clergymen in this re-
mark-who does not swear when he is
angry?
But, as to women not narrying-and it
seems to me that the marriage list in the
paper is about as long as it has been for
| some years-but if they do not marry, is
not the fault on both sides? 1t is not six
| of one and half dozen of the other?
! Count on your fingers ten unmarried
men of your acquaintance, and why are
! they not married? Number one is so con-
! tent with his club that he is willing to let
well enough alone. Number two is doing
a fairly good business, and is nice, plain
sort Of man, who could, if he would,
marry a nice, pretty girl of no great social
/ Importance. But he aspires to marry an
/ heiress, who is belle in the most exclu-
sive set in fashionable society, and she will
/ none of him. Number three is a dancing
man much sought after for balls and cotil-
| lions, and has far too good time to marry
and settle down he can afford to enjoy
single blessedness a few years longer, he
/ thinks. Number four is young man just
started in business, and cannot afford to
marry. Number five is a man of forty
with small income, who has some rela-
tiyes dependent upon him. Number six
is fond of travel, and does not wish to be
| hampered with wife and children. Mum
/ ber seven has t:midly offered himself to
! girl who has refused him, and he rails at
! the whole sex. Number eight is willing
| to marry, but the extravaganza of the
times alarms him. Number nine is wait
| ing to fall in love, and number ten is, per-
haps, engaged.
And now take ten unmarried women be-
/ tween the ages of twenty and thirty. One,
perhaps, has never had an offer; another
| has never been in love; third may be in
| love with poor man who will never be
abe to support her; fourth is too busy
supporting herself to go into society at
all, and SO meets few eligible men; a fifth
! is ready to marry sensible man who can
support her comfortably, but she has no
fortune, and the men don't propose to pen
niless girls; sixth may be in love with
| a man who appears indifferent to her, and
seventh would have accepted a certain
man if he had asked her a second time
| not that she refused him through coquetry,
but she did not quite knew her own mind.
! An eighth is ambitious to marry wealth,
ninth aspires to be famous in literature or
art and a tenth does not wish to marry at
all.
And it is true the men are turned aside
from proposing by very small things;
| slight unintentional coolness of manner
/ from the woman, or a chance remark con-
cerning her from some third person, has
broken up many a match that might have
resulted in happiness. But if a man knows
how to WOO he may win any woman he
! chooses. For, after all, it is not SO much
the man as the manner of his wooing, and
| this has been very daintily and cleverly
expressed in recent poem by an author
whose name forget; and long ago Shake
speare said the man who has a tongue is
no man, il with it he cannot win woman.
Charles Dudley Warner, too, in his "a
Little Journey in the World" gives the
men hint when he says of Henderson,
''there was this about him that appeared
to her admirable, and in contrast with her
own hesitating indirection, that whatever
he wanted-money or position, or the love
of woman-he went straight to his object
with Inconsistencies that failure was pos
sible." On another page he says:
philosophers on this topic say that a
man ought always to be able to tell by a
woman's demeanor toward him whether
she is favorably inclined, and that he need
run no risk. Little signs, the eyes alone,
draw people together, and make formal
language superfuous. This theory is
abundantly sustained by examples, and we
might rest on it if all women knew their
own minds, and if, or the other hand, they
could always tell whether a man was seri-
Gus before he made definite avowal
There is another notion, fortunately not
yet extinct, that the manifest thing man
can do is to take his life in his hand, pay
the woman be loves the highest tribute in
his power by offering her his heart and
name, and giving her the definite word
that may be the touchstone to reveal to
herself her own feeling. In our conven-
tional life women must move behind a
mask in a world of uncertainties"
Doubtless there are many charming men
and women who would be happier married
than single. We all know of men and
women who have declared their intention
of never marrying, and who have married
very soon after such declarations, and be-
come the most devoted of husbands and
wives. All of which proves that they
were ready to marry when they met the
| right persons. But how are they all to
meet the right ones-their counterparts !!
/ wonder that Grant Allen and other ad-
vocates of marriage do not turn their at
I tention to matchmaking, and in this way
/ try to bring about the marriages that they