Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1890-05-29
BHENIN9 KOHOns.


ing low 2" asked one youth Of soolhar.
IL write for a living" "what do you
writer" Letters to father"
First bAssballist-And when the old
man instead Of the girl met you at the
door. did you make home run? Second
bsseballist-No, was shut out ESpresI.
Mrs, Simpson-So your servant has run
of. How foolish in her to leave good
home like this. Don't you think she'll
regret it Mrs. sampson Yes; my hus-
band went with her.-Judge.
He Remembered George,
what did you learn in school tod ~ p
ned-that-well, learned that
three apples plus six pears equals nine
oranges"
Somethingto Get Rid of.-Msj. Blowitz
1.-THE fellow tried 10 steal my reputa-
ton" Col. Bluntly--uY You have lost ths
opportunity OF your life" "What should
/ have done ?? "Let him have it,"
First tramp-Dil you henr about that
new $40 counterfeit bill that is out
Second tramp--No. "Fact. And felles
can't tell it fram the genuine" 81 know
couldn't. We must be on the lookout
for it, M Texas Siftings.
Jones-By the wsy, Brown, where is
your brother now2 Brown-Oh, l
haven't soon him for two years, hiss way
out ia Montana. Hhers is your brother?
Jones--Oh haven't seen him for five
years he's way out in Brooklyn Life.
The maiden was poor and no man came to
court her,
But at last she was loved by palace car
porter.
| Ia fhfSNu a at
smlls bewitches y
And he made her his wife and she's rolling
IN riches.
Emma-"were you OF the theatre the
other night to sec the new tragedy You
ought to ses how beautifully the heroine
| falls when she fRints! ~ Eiuda-"No, bat
must go. 1 had no idea could learn
anything there, or should have been be-
fore"
''Mr. Wanamaker," said the Philadel
pniau. 81 see in the newspapegs--'
''Let me Tell you one thing" said the
Postmaster. General solemnly, 'pever
believe What you reed in the newspapers. "
Never M. Wapsmake ?" Hem except
the advertisements"
With some public men the svcrsion to
giving out information is almost q
d sease. "Why, how are you, senator ~
aaid correspondent to a prominent
Statesman tina ether day. ~ must firmly
hut respectfully deciine 20 he interviewed
onthat subject, sir. n--Piiadsiphid Times
The evening for her bath OF dew
ia partially undressed;
The Gnn behind bob.tailed flush
is setting ia the west;
The planets light the heavens with
The flash OF their cigars;
The sky has put his nightshirt on
And buttoned 1t with stars.
- Passdr Miscelldney.
Theatrical Matters in Chicago. Mrs
Porker is going to be played n
the opera house tonight ?" Mrs. Wild
weBt-"It ia not decided yet" "Bow ii
that ?" IAN know about it is what
read In the paper. 1t says they, are go
ing to play Othello, or the Moor of V enice
but it didn't say which. For my part II
Just as lief see one as the other" ''S'
would l."
The Amends Honorable. -Reporte
(mistsking the English interpreter OF tn
Japanese embassy for Jap) You speal
remarkably good English for Japanese.
Englishman (indianantly)-"Sir lam n
Jap. am an EnglishmAu born ard bred,
Reporter-"U m-er-yes yes, know.
meant to say you speak remarkably GOO
English for an Englishmsn."
The Cinnamon OF Astoria, Oregon, ar
amusing themselves with a huge to
mad, cut Of an empty 25.pourd whit
led keF- A square opening is out in tn
Bidl, ard It takes three men TO spin il
one to hold the top and two to pull tn
string with stick which sets it in me
ton. While spinning 1t sounds like To
whistle of steamer, ard can be hear
three blocks away.
Jennie How did you enjoy yourself a
the theatre last night MAmis-0h i'm
, mensely. What was the play 2 ill.,
/ declare don't know. Let me see.
, think | have got . programme in m
other dress p0cket. J.-lt does not ma
ter. But | think 1t strange that 70
i should go to theatre and not know whe
the play was. M.-Why, bless you, dear
, 1 was with theatre party.-Bosto
Courier.
! Soma time ago the teacher of Rive
! side, CAL, school instr acted her clal
q how to act in oassH of emergencies, sue
I as drowning, gunshot accidents, 80.
/ day or so ater the Lesson lad name
i4htkut W6ub anu ltuuu Lis pAD
, sister given up for dsBd, after bein
1 picked out OF canal. There was n
: doctor to be had, and young Haight wei
4 to work to apply his lesson, and in
I. little while the baby was all right.
"Be careful, sir!' called patrolmu
r to man who WAS speeding his hors
!. what for ?" esk the driver, as /
= pull, i up. I'm have you up for ia
il driving" "what is fas, driving z" "wh,
. over s,x miles an hour" "3ay, old Il
o Low, take ma into court, wont your
/ you will only get 1t into the papers til
y this boss was going over four IN les 9
hour can sell him for $40. tyou wi
r I'll try ard help You sometime"
r Says school teacher: ''If eight hou
o wogk is going to be the ruie, hope 81
Q sohool teachers will ba counted in. I'll
y general impression is that school teaohe
o work only six hours Law, ard the
when school is over their days work
done. There never was g more mistake
. impression. Teachers, TO be thoroue
:. and honest in their Vork, must deyo
y fully IL houra per day to school wor
:, After the days sessions are over tbs
= must correct papers, mako out rapport
p prepare questions for the next ,y's &c
y slons, and attend to hundred NJ 4 9th
!, minor daties, a.! OF which take time"
\. y A ciIzen who was passing by a hou
=, y, on Indiana street ths other day obseYyl
I. Smoke coming through he roof near Il
:. chimney, and ha rusntd mp TO the do
70 and knocked an alarm. "Whst do u
>, want p ashed the woman az abe appeare
u MADAM, d MT get excit. d, but / mu
tell you-,, "Oh, l sbsn'E get excite d
70 she interrupted, ~ alwSys keep tn