Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1890-10-02
PITH AND POINT.

The Modern Maiden--He-WouId
that those busy little hands were mine!
She-You can hire them for SIS week.
Van Dorn's Magazine.
SO your intended is really beauty
eh?'' "a beauty? Yes. indeed. Why,
she even looks handsome in an amateur
photograph. "-Indianapolis Journal.
Room for Doubt - Mr.. Whitney
House (pointing to young Clarence YER
isopht and his girD-''Two souls with
but single thoughtr' Mr.. Chauncey
Lake (cynically)-"Which has itP-
Westborough Tribune.
The Returned "Switzer-
land, madam, Switzerland is horribly
overrated, You are all the while shut
in so by mountains that you can't see
any thing Courier des Etats Unis-
well. young man." said the irate
parent, IF you persist in your present
course you will sup sorrow with
SPOON Il don't know whether that
can be w orse than eating ice-cream with
a fork" returned the profgate; and
I've tried that"
Husband Sitting down to support
Where are all the children, Maria?'
Wife-'I sent them to bed" Hus-
band-''To bed? Why so early?" Wife
-"Because you are going to put up that
new stovepipe, and / want them to grow
up to be polite men and women. Dos
ton Herald.
Duchess of Borrowitz Ito Attendant
-sWho knocks at the castle gates at
this unseemly hour?' Attendant lex
citedly)-"It is thy son. He brings with
him an American wife with purse
large enough to pay all the family
debts Ouch ess with emotion)-"Ad-
NIT my son and the purse. IN. Y.
Weekly.
Won Lohnote "a ponderous basso-
singing)-"A Warrior Bold Am l." Two
hours later: Madam Won Lohnote-
Jacob, is the wood ready for the cook?"
Won Lohnote-'Yes, my dear" Madam
Won Lohnote-"Then lock the doors,
and don't dare to wake the baby" Won
Lohnote (meekly)-"Yes, my DEAR
Pittsburgh Bulletin.
Little Nell-'Auntie took me to
the matinee to-day, and all the idiot
asylum inmates were there. The man.
ager sent them free tickets, and put
them all in one part of the theater in
whole lot of seats by themselves"
Mamma-'Indeed! And how did they
act?" Little Nell-''O, just as If they
had box. "-Springfield Republican.
Maria" he pleaded, eff your IA
Their will not give his consent, will you
elope with me?" But, Tom, just think
of the wedding presents we will miss.
l will promise to be yours when papa
says yes" ''Oh, pshaw! Why wait all
that time? If we elope we can cele-
brate our golden wedding by the time
your father comes around. "-Harper's
Bazaar.
-Ethel-''What. are you so angry
about tonight" Maud-"rve received
a note from Jack saying that he's en-
gagged to Clara 2eachly." Ethel-'sWe1l,
I should think that would relieve your.
mind rather than make you angry. You
are engaged to Tom Shore, and intended
to throw Jack over anyway" Maud
Eyes, goosy, but do you think 1 wanted
to lose the fun of throwing him over?''
Epoch.
Nobody cares whether the inhab-
itants of Jupiter are transparent or not,
rs some of the star-gazers affirm; but it
would be something of godsend in the
way of wisdom to understand by what
process of vision woman can see clear
through man weighing two hundred
and forty pounds with as much compre-
hension as she can look into plate
glass window full of new bonnets-
Rams Horn.