The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1890-09-19
MISCELLANEOUS.


roses produced during the year lust
passed, seventy-three are credited to
France, and but five to the United
States.
-Celetine-"Whyd didn't you take that
seat the gentleman offered you?" Earn
estine-"Because l would have had to
sit next to that woman whose dress
doesn't harmonic in color with mine"
Domestic servants are so scarce in
Montreal that women in want Of help
are said to visit the Jail with the view
of engaging young women to work for
them at the close of their terms of i'm
prisonment.
Jockey - ''Can't ride to-day, Mr..
Petit" Pettit-"Whats the matter?
Are you sick?' Jockey--"No, I'm not
sick; but I've got a silver in my finger
and I'm afraid they'd make it out that
was overweight. Judge.
-Lady-"I would like to get serv-
ant-girl. The family consists of my
husband, myself and five children"
Employment Agent - Every sorry,
madam, but you will have to kill off
some of the children"
Vaudeville Virgins, of New
Brighton, Staten Island, suggests drown
ing as a humane form of capital punish
ment. He says he came near being
drowned not long ago himself He went
far enough to discover that death by
that method would be painless.
old gentleman lat his daughters
wedding)-"My dear, don't see how l
am to get along without you" Bride
''Never mind, pa. Since the ceremony
fessed that he hasn't enough saved to
go to housekeeping, so you may not lose
me after all.'-N. Y. Weekly.
Eighteen words have come into the
language - probably temporarily, most
of them - to denote the act OF state of
electric killing. They are as follows:
Electromort, .nanelectrize, thanatelec-
trize, characteristics, electrophon, cleo
tricise, electrotony, electropbony, cleo
troctony, electroctasy, electricide, cleo
trop9nize, electrothenese, electroed,
electrocution, fulmen, voltacuss and
electrostrike.-
Don't clean your nails in public"
said critic to Detroit Free Press re-
porter. ut is nspeakably valgar. The
toilet should be made in the privacy of
ones chamber, or, at any rate, out of
the public gaze. If there is anything
in the world that disgusts a person it is
to see fellow pull out jackknife in
street car and begin pairing away at his
hands. Don't do it, for it is vulgar to
the highest.
"A gentleman who wrote concerning
the price of board in country town is
said to have received this telegram in
reply: Board, $50 a week, including
washing up the carriage and piano
agent Robinson. He wrote in an
swer that though both piano agent and
carriage needed cleaning, he was not
accustomed to such charges in board
bill, and soon after learned that the
original copy had run thus: Board,
$50 week, including washing, use OF
carriage and piano. Agnes Robinson
The annual product of roofing slate
is given by Superintendent of the Cen
sus Porter as S2S, 900 squares, of value
of S2,775,271, of which Pennsylvania
share is 474,G0 squares and S1,636, 945.
OF slate for other purposes the value IS
given at 1868, $50, Pennsylvanias part
being 1914, S31; total value of all slate
produced, $3, 444, 1868; Pennsylvania, 81
Ol1,77 - Pittsburgh Chronicle-Tele-
graph.
Tho man who was hurrying into the
hatter's was on business. He wanted
his old hat. when did you leave it
here?" Il dunno" was the reply. They
hunted over great pyramid of hats and
found it, labeled July ,. When he went
out the halter said: THAT man bought
n new hat here and when he went out
said that he would call for it in half an
hour. 1t has now been four weeks. We
throw away seven or eight hundred old
hats every year for which the owners
are going to call in half an hour -
Lewiston Journal.
The London Hospital tells Of
seamstress, who, like Hoods pathetic
heroine in the "Song of the Shirt
worked till the stars shone on the roof
Her eyesight failed, and the story goe!
on: "She saw at the same time fouI
hands, four needles and four seams
She at first treated them as an illusion
but at the end of some days, in con
sequence of weakness and prolonged
mental anxiety, she imagined that she
was really sewing four seams at once
and that Gods touched by her misfor
tune, had worked a miracle in hei
favor
According to calculation made by
the Economists Beige, the cost of firing
1lO-pound gun is, in round numbers,
$3.50, divided as follows: 800 pounds OF
powder, $3.50; 1850 pounds projectile,
s435; silk for cartridge, SIT; total 1882.
But this is not all. The 11O-pound gun,
it appears, can be fired but 95 times,
and after that becomes incapable of be.
ing used, ana requires repairs. Now,
the cost of the piece being 49,, 400, it is
necessary to estimate the cost of wear
at about SS6S for each shot, thus raising
the cost Of each charge to 81, 700.
They struck town Tuesday, pictures
of rural health and unsophisticated hap
piness, says tie Sidney IN. W Record.
Down our main street they wandered,
side by side, hand in hand. They saw
not the light Of heaven; naught but the
light of the gentle flame of love illum-
| IN fhair ratk anahlaJ