davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington critic., 1890-03-20
WIT IN A SMALL WAY

Judge-Prisoner, do you confess your
guilt?
mo, your Honor; the speech of my
lawyer has convinced even me of nv
entire innocence. Fliegende BlatteT.
Mind, ] don't want to be flattered, 4"
said feminine voice confdentially be-
hind a photographers screen, "but do
try and idealize ii all you can. "-PhHa-
delphiu Rec01d.
Doctor-Take cereal food for break
fast, my dear sir; it will help you won.
derfully.
Patient-(next neutrality-suspicious.,
gimme a little old rye. Must follow
doctors orders, -HiHHeapolis Jomna
The attitudes which some people
strike after doing what is their plain
duty to do would make dancing
master blush. .-I'uch.
Faddles-Did ever tell you that
story about my uncle and the snake?
Swaddles-You did, my boy, and I'd
rather believe it than hear It again
HdTperS u 6eky
The Washington critic., 1890-03-20
Try it.
HON ne Mem York Star.

From Tie Mem YORK. StdF.
/ have an estimable friend who is
constantly bothering his brains over
every suggestion of a puzzle 1t is his
fad, and he can't help it, He met me
yesterday and insisted on my hearing
his latest discovery, as he called it.
"Just put down the figures of your age
and multiply that by 2. Then add
to it 3.76S. After that results had, add
to it 10, and then divide by 2. Now,
when you've done this little sum, sub.
tract from the result obtained the mum.
ber Of your years on this mundane
sphere and the result will always be
1890"
The Washington critic., 1890-03-20

as faithfully and ably as this man has
done. No man has loved or laborod
more for Germany Ilehos ruled nb.
solutcly, but he has ruled wisely. The
decision of history will assign him one
Of the highest inches in the temple Of
tame, and it will record truly that few
men at any epoch have cQualel the
influence which he eNerted upon his
time.
The circumstances under which the
retirement of Prince Bismarck has oc
cured are almost rs significant as the
fact of his retirement a hot headed
young ruler has undertaken to consti-
tute himself the mbilcr Of certain eco
nomic questions In this now departure
he has had TO part company with his
grandfather's great adviser aud with
the creator Of iMpcrial Germany. Tue
young Emperor may he the Moses of the
New Era. But, generally, It will be nc
accepted that Germany has got to the
crossroads where ways divide anl be.
come so dubiou, that it takes super.
human sagacily to find the right path.
NoR1lIM ESTERN SCENERY.
Our Northern neighbor, the Dominion
Of Canada, is very proud Of her greatest
material achievement the Canadian
Pacific Railway Well she may be, for
this stupcndous undertaking was car.
riCd through by country of small
population and possessed of but limited
resources. 1t was, however, success
fully accomplished, and now the iron
highway stretches from Quebec, the
ancient capital of Canada, on the east
to Vancouver on the west. 1t pene.
trates vast forests, traverscs illimitable
plains and winds its sinuous way through
the valleys and canyons of great noun.
tain ranges. 1t forms continuous line
of 3,O50 miles, and presents to the eye
of the travelerN never. ending succession
of varied scenes, which by turns de-
light and awe the observer.
y fair idea of what may be seen along
the western stretches of the road, where
nature in her wilder moods has not
yielded to the subduing hand of man,
may be gathered from the views now
on exhibition in the parlor leading to
the dining-room of Willard's Hotel.
These views comprise some of the most
magnificent scenery Of which the
American continent can boast. They
are splendid pictures--in fact, works Of
art creditable alike to the artists, Wm.
hoffman 4 Son of Montreal, and to the
company which had them prepared.
They have been exhibited in Boston and
go,after this week, to Philadelphia. They
excite universal admiration wherever
they are seen. Mr. Skinner of New York
has them in charge. No lover of the
beautiful in art or of the sublime in
nature should miss seeing them.
The Washington critic., 1890-03-20
CaptaIn Richnrd al nome.

Captain Richard of the French Navy,
who was sent by the Government as a
delegate to the recent Maritime Con
ference at Washington, says the Paris
ReQtSter, has returned and deposited his
elaborate report in the hands of the
Minister of Marine. His report will
shortly be published in the J0urRal
0Nciet.
The Washington critic., 1890-03-20
SENATOR NnnKuEEs

Daniel Webster Voorhees,, the Tall
Sycamore Of the Wabash, whose tariff
speech yesterday is attracting universal
attention, was born in Butler County,
Ohio, September 26, 1921 He gradu-
ated at the ASbury now De Pauw) Uni
versity in 1919. In 1853 he was made
United States District Attorney for Iu-
diana by President Buchanan. He was
a member of the Thirty. seventh, Thirty
eighth, Thirty ninth, Forty,frst and
Forty-second Congresses. He ran for
Congress in 1876, but was defeated.
Governor James ID. ("Blue Jeans'')
Williams appointed him United States
Senator in 1917 to fill the vacancy
caused by the death of Oliver p. Nor
ton, Indiana s great War Governor He
was subsequently elected by the Legis-
lature for the uneXpired term and for
the ensuing full term, and was re elected
in 1885. The Legislature to be elected
this fall will choose his successor. His
principal opponent, if there be any op-
position, will be Ex-Governor Isaac p.
Gray, a former Republican and
shrewd, clear headed politician. 1t is
claimed, however, that their interests
have been reconciled, and that harmony
hovers over the Democratic factions of
Indiana like mosquitoes over Missis-
sippi River sand bar. Personally Sena-
tor Voorhees, is genial, popular and
likable man. Politically he is one of
the ablest and most consistent of our
public men.
The Washington critic., 1890-03-20
OFFICE OF
WOODWARD &c LoTHROP,
Corner 18th and + SITS. n. W.

We are Offering this week
the following extraordinary
values in popular-priced
dress goods, on the second
floor of our establishment:
Danish Cloth, or Corded
Cashmere, single width,
half wool, excellent colors,
only I2hc per yard.
Exquisite line of Figured
Half-Wool Challies, cream
and delicate ground colors,
in attractive figured effects,
plain colors to match, only
1Sc per yard.
34,inch Plain and Striped
Cashmeres, in spring shades,
only 25c per yard.
27,inch Mohairs, in a va
riety of desirable staple
shades, 25c.
27-inch Wool Suitings,
gray and brown mixtures,
only 23c per yard. Same,
36-inch, 29c per yard.
2a-inch Figured and
Striped Mohairs, choice,
dressy effects, only SAC per
yard.
36inch All-Wool Suitings,
in about twenty desirable
plain shades, only 37Hc per
yard.
Double-width Mohairs, in
all the staple shades, only
4oc per yard.
Thirty-five different pat
terms in attractive striped,
checked and plaid a!l-wooI
Dress Goods, at SOC per
yard. We do not believe our
line of SOC Dress Goods is
equalled in the city. 38
inches wide, all wool and
soc per yard.
In our Wash Goods De
partment we offer the fol
lowing extra good values;
More than 100 patterns
in New Ginghams at
1llo per yard
Plain shades. plaids, stripes checks, bor-
dered, NC. Largest and most attractive line
OF l2lc Ginghams we have ever offered,
10000 yards of "Outingn Cloths, Flannel
cites, Tennis Flannels, Sc, in an almost unlim-
tied variety of handsome stripes, plalds and
checks, for outing suits, tennis boating and
Archery suits, &c. Unfading and unshrink-
able Have the appearance OF all-wool Ham
nels. 10, ~, ID, II ana 25c per yard
Second floor
The Washington critic., 1890-03-20

waters served new dainty, prepared
orange, from large punch bowl In the
picturesque hall near the big open fire
place. in which the burning logs sent
ont cheerful glow and added to the
rnsv- hnmelike effect.
The Washington critic., 1890-03-20
The Arlington.
THE ARLINGTON, "
WASHINGTON, d. c.,
March G, 1890.

Ny DEAR DR.. LIGHTnlLL;
1t gives me great pleasure to state
that you effected a remarkable cure of
deafness and discharge from the ears in
the case of my cousin, Marcus c.
Roessle, and that the cure has proved as
permanent as it was radical. feel sure
that without your skillful aid my cousin
would have been o deaf man all his
life. Knowing of other cases in which
you have been equally successful, I
cheerfully give you leave to refer to me
at any time, and hope that your prac-
tice in Washington will prove a distin-
guished success.
Yours, truly, T. E. RoEssLE.
The Washington critic., 1890-03-20

In MAY BE DIFFICULT to determine all
at once whether the Pan American
Congress has, through its deliberations,
attained any very valuable results. The
scheme of such a Congress was rather
The Washington critic., 1890-03-20

TIE JUDICIARY COMMITTEE of the
New York Senate, by a strict party
vote, has decided to report a prohibition
amendment TO the State Constitution.
Evidently the Republicans of that State
do not want to leave q stone uuturned
to make New York go Democratic in
1892,
The Washington critic., 1890-03-20

THE PROPOSED SUGAR tariff amend
ment naturally incms the opposition Of
the sugar-growing interest In some
respects ii is remarkable that this
amendment should have been favorably
reported by the committee. The sugar
tax has been borne SO long that it has
become an accustomed burden and its
removal would be an advantage to a
comparatively small productive interest.
The protection Of that interest can
hardly be regarded as n question of
national importance. For revenue
purposes the sugar tax is one of great
value and productiyeness.
The Washington critic., 1890-03-20

The CONTEST BEFORE Congress be.
tween James Hill and r. G. Catchings
for the representation of the Third Con.
gressional district of Mississippi pre-
sents some interesting features. Twenty.
seven years ago Mr.. Hill was a slave.
Since then he has educated himself,
taken conspicuous and honorable part
in politics and filled every elective State
office except that of Governor. And
now he claims that he was elected to
the Fifty-frst Congress The last three
decades present some strange contrasts
in American politics.
The Washington critic., 1890-03-20
He was a Parent and Knew.

Fion, HdrDeI's Basar.
"Iou advertised for a boy?"
"Yes. Do you want a placer"
eyes, sir"
"Do you whistler"
mo, sir"
"Do you carve your name on the
desks and benches?"
mo, sir.
do you play ball during Office
hours?"-
"Oh, no, sirl Never"
I'm sorry. You won't do. wanted
a boy, and individuals who do not be-
have as I have indicated are not boys"
The Washington critic., 1890-03-20

GENERAL Won CArRIvI is the new
German Chancellor. A natural regret
has been expressed that an untried man
should be entrusted with the destinies
of Germany. The feeling is that the
Empire will lose its commanding in
fuence in Europe, and that-the triple
alliance is endangered. The popular
manifestations of appreciation and re-
spect for Bismarck are so general as to
be almost unanimous. There can be
no doubt that the great statesman is to
be speedily enrolled among the greatest
of the German heroes and among the
ablcst of the worlds statesmen.
The Washington critic., 1890-03-20

THE NEW French Ministry has hardly
had time to take its official place before
matter of peculiar gravity requires its
action. The French garrison at the
Blight Of Benin is surrounded by 900
of the troops Of the King Of Dahomey.
AS these troops are mostly women the
position Of the gallant Frenchmen is
especially embarrassing.
The Washington critic., 1890-03-20

HEADACHE, backache, toothache and all
other aches cured by Salvation Oil. 25 cents.
Eyerybody's remedy is what they call DR..
Bulls Cough Syrup. Price only 25 cents.
The Washington critic., 1890-03-20

sentimental than practical in character.
Doubtless the representatives of the
several American nations, through the
opportunities for mutual acquaintance
which the Congress gave, have a better
understanding Of the wishes aud nee Is
Of each Of them There will be, Of
course, number of reports The Con-
Prcss will report in favor of reciprocity
treaties wherever practicable. Beyond
question, it will make q deliverauce in
favor Of both water and railway inter.
communication. But whether all this
will amount to anything more sub
stanial than the firing of blank
cartridges the future alone can reveal
TIE UNFoRTUNNrEs who read only
the esteemed Stai' were able yesterday
TO ascertain from its columns the pro
visions Of the Worlds Fair bill prepared
by the House Special Committee. The
readers of THE CBIuC had the salts
faction Of reading that bill, section by
section, on last Friday.
Moral-1f you want the news fresh,
crisp and sparkling, read TIE CBtTic.
THE CHATTER IN some quarters that
Bismarck repents, whether bitterly or
mildly, the Austro Prussian and the
Frauco-Prussian wars is the idlest non
sense. II is equivalent to saying that
he repents creating the German En-
pire, that stupendous monument to his
genius and consummate statecraft.
The Washington critic., 1890-03-20

TIE KAISER APPEARS to be resigned
to the Chancellor resignation.
The Washington critic., 1890-03-20

ATLANTA Is STILL the capital Of
Georgia.
The Washington critic., 1890-03-20
CONVERS ATIONAL POWER
IN THE
ER ENCH HIANGnAEE

now equally within the reach of an-tho
least as we'll a. the most talented 70 Ian
guages, because: Teaching How to speak
fessur tolliere rendering the results as GER
tain and mathematically true as that two
and two make four,
There are but four simple cardinal laws
based on one fundamental principle, which,
when strictly adhered to, create the French
voice.
This principle and the four cardinal laws
the Professor claims to have discovered
Applied to recently published method of
live, plain. everyday, common sense, idiOm-
attic. connected French Conversation they
produce results that are absolute. a pro
nunciation and accent next to perfect, and
the ability to speak in French after
\ SIX WEEKS COURSE
The Washington critic., 1890-03-20
EREE LECTURE AT THE MASONIC HALL
NEXT FRIDAY AND SATURDAY.
At o,2n A.9n aud 6 N m

At $3.50, 4;3O and p. m.
Saturday Morning AT II O'Clock for Ladies'.
Subject: The easiest to learn to speak is
unquestionably the French Language, be-
cause of its uniformity in pronunciation and
accent
The Washington critic., 1890-03-20
FRENCH CONVERSATION.

Course opens next week. Free trial lessons
daily at the aforementioned hours and
place.
Professor LCCIEN E. G. COLLIERE, A. NJ,
q native of Paris, France Twenty cOnsecu-
tive years experience in the District
Residence-110S L st. n. W. mr1S,d&S,fw
Workmen's advocate., 1890-04-19

Dispatches which cannot be suspected of partiality to Labor, since they come from London correspondents of capita list organs in this city, show that the movement in favor of simultaneous demonstration on May 1 throughout Europe is assuming formidable propor- tions. Whether the French govern mem does or does not attempt to carry out its tSreat of suppressing the demon stration in Paris, 200, 900 men will turn out. Belgium pledges to show an aggre.
Workmen's advocate., 1890-04-19

for limitations of Looking Backward' from Civil Service, Free Trade, Prohibit tion, Anarchist, Single Tax and many more such like one idead theorists.
 That capital, in the shape of money, should not be allowed 10 derive profit, called interest, but that capital, in any Of the shapes into which money is con- vertible, as machinery, cattle, tools, or land, should be free to do so so is a position that it takes a hide bound Gieenbacker to maintain. In years gone by, when the labor question had not yet reached it's present fullness of develop ment, such a view may have been par. donable. But today, when the capital lst system can be seen in full bloom, to still propose Greenbackism as a social cure'all argues, on the part of a social reformer. intellectual blindness to an almost perverse extent
 Nevertheless, thls book may contrib ute its mite toward the promotion of the social question. It's readers vii, come mainly from the politically apathe. tic elements of cultured society, whom a strong shock may shake into a cons- ciousness of the danger toward which they are speeding This the book is likely to accomplish. The eyes of such people being once thus rudely opened, the chances are slim of their adopting any halfway attitude. They will more probably either move rapidly forward and take a place abreast of the radical ranks; or they will retrograde abso- lutely, becoming active reactionists in the capitalist camp. Either course will promote the social revolution. It will help to draw the lines clearly.
 Furthermorc, C9sar's Column is not without it's significance The author does not give his name, hence we know not his domlcle or antecedents; yet the book issues from Chicago publishing house. The same city that pepetrated the murder of November 1 in the name of law, order, and society, now gives birth to an elegant literary production which holds up to deserved scorn the ruling classes of today, and scathingly denounces their selfish, brutish, murder ous instincts. Nor is this the only sign of the approaching day. Truly was it prophesied immediately after the mar tyrs of November il had breathed their last:
 Chicago boasts it slew a vulture; cries,
 "Lo, error quenched" But, from ose ashes
 born,
 Will Ere dom's broad winged, golden eagle
 rise,
 Triumphant as the morn.
Workmen's advocate., 1890-04-19
LITERARY NOTES.

"CGsars Column, 4 Story of the 7trentteth Century," is the title of the latest work of fiction devoted to the la bor question. In point of style and dic- tion, this book is an elegant productions
 but in intellectual grasp, economic knowledge, and understanding of mod ern aspirations, it does not compare with Looking Backward" "A Hazard of New Fortunes" or Speaking of Ellen" Its imagery is fantastic, like a story of the Arabian Nights; yet this is its least defect, and to some people may even prove attractive on that account. What we condemn it for is the extreme crudeness of the notions entertained by its author, as shown in the dIctatic DOT tions devoted to political science. The author evidently was a Greenbacker and has not yet outgrown that primitive school; even his sense of justice is not quite awake. It is clear that he tries to adapt the methods of Bellamy to his own pet hobby. Henceforth we may look
Workmen's advocate., 1890-04-19
IS IT A CLASS MOVEMENT

The Rev. w. D. P. Bliss, editor of the Ddcn, Christian Socialist and National ist, has just been driven out of his pul. pit by the Pharisees of his church.
 The Rev. Jesse Jones, another Chris. tian Socialist and Nationalist, has also been notified that his services were no longer required by the Pharisees
 The Rev. John Brown, of Fall River, Is fighting the devil in the person of a wealthy cotton lord. A wealthy devil is stronger in the church than an army of Christian Socialists. The Rev. John Brown must go.
 The Rev. Lyman Abbott had better look out. Adultery is permitted in Plymouth Church to one who breaches that the laborer must be content with one dollar a day; but pure life weighs like feather against the sin of Christian Socialism.
 The Rev. Heber Newton allowed the devil, in the person of Gunton, to amend his Christian Socialism. He may, per chance, die in his pulpit; for his vestry- man is pleased with the amendment.
Workmen's advocate., 1890-04-19
CLASS LAW.

Early in the winter Silcott, an employe of the U. s. Government, decamped with the salaries of a large number of Congressman. The question whether the government should indemnify the sufferers was discussed in Congress- and 1t seems a decision was arrived at to bring the question before the Court of Claims and make test case out of it. This was done, and the court has just decided that the defrauded Congressman should be indemnifed.
 Silcott was not a disbursing agent of the government. The office he filled did not connect him with the Treasury. Neither actually nor constructively did he represent the government in the capacity in which members of Congress chose to employ him. In 80 far as they deposited money with him etc., they were dealing with creature of their own. Nevertheless, they demand, and the court sustains them, that the gov ernment stand the loss caused to them by their own fault.
 Imagine, on the other hand, any of the thousands of depositors in the banks Institutions somewhat governmental in their nature) to demand that they be in- demniied each time their banks fail. What cry of holy horror would not go up from our Conservative Classes"i Socialism Communism would they yell and our owls in the editorial rooms of the Sun, the Tribune, the Times, etc., etc., would immediately protest against this un-Amerlcan evidence of lack of elf-reliance on the part of the deposi- tors who tried to get o-hers to shoulder their losses. Yet, if a defrauded bank dep0sitor were to claim government protection he could have alleged in his favor the fact that the government itself had tacitly held out the bank as a trustworthy corporation. His suit would, however, be thrown out of court quicker than it got into court. And for very good reason. Our laws are class laws. they are not laws that contemplate the welfare of the people. And these are the laws, these the legislators, our deluded working people vote for year after year. How long will it be, work ingmen, before you see this cat and de- clare your independence How many kicks will you submit to from your bosses, the politicians and plutocrats, before you turn round and kick them all overheard? D.I
Workmen's advocate., 1890-04-19
THE POLICE AND THE C. L U.

The Police Commissioners, in execu. tive session last Friday, adopted by unanimous vote these resolutions, pre-. sented by Commissioner Voorhls and approved by Commissioner Mclean, who was absent:
 WhereaS, There recently appeared in the public prints of this city commu- nication purporting to emanate from the "BuIlding Trades Section of the Central Labor Union," which contained certain statements of an indefinite and general character, rejecting upon the integrity and fair rame of the Police Department of the city; and
 IFhereds The Board of Police exam ines into any and all specific accusations against the police force which affect its good conuuct or efficiency, to the end that proper remedies may be applied wherever the same may be found neces. sary; and
 Whereas, The Central Labor Union Building Trades Section), in said pub. lished communication failed to make any specific complaint against iesig. hated member of the police force or to prefer any charge of so definite charac- ter that can be made subject of formal inquiry of the Board of Police; therefore be it
 Resolred, That the Board of Police hereby informs said Central Labor Union of its readiness at all times to re- ceive, examine into and justly dispose of all specific complaints that any of its mem bers may prefer, under oath, against the conduct or efficiency of any member of the police force of this city, or that in any wise may relate to the admin strative or executive functions of the Department of Police.
 This is an extraordinary document, Hypocritical meekness and stubborn defiance are its chef characteristics Which of the two shall we admire most?
 Think of The Central Labor Union is invited to prefer specific charges to the police against the police in order that the police may punish itself
 Thus stated, the proposition is suffi ciently ridiculous. Of course the Police Commissions object to the statement of it in this plain form; but, knowing that this is the only form in which it can be truly stated, they try to make it appear less ridiculous by arguing that individua members of the force are daily punished for violations of disci-