Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1890-03-15
SPARKS OF W.T..


HE-Do you love me or nosP Boston
girl-The former.
MANY 9 youthful scion of wealth IL
dependent on papa labor.
THE game cock is always pretty we'll
heeled when he goes out on a business
trip.
An ingenious Western man has made
musical instrument from q corncob
Any one can play by ear on it.
NEWSPAPER men have a right to be
proud. Well-yes. Handling the paste
pot is apt to make 'em little stuck up.
AT the Find anything in
the paper? G.-No, was just glane-
ing over it to see if anybody 1 knew had
been born.
FARPER-Why don't you go to the
workhouse? Tramp-Dey1l have ter
change de name o. dc institution afore
dey gifts me inter it.
HE-I don't see Why there should be
no marriage or given in marriage in
Heaven! She-Probably because there
won't be any men there.
Il DIDN'T know you were in the shoe
business, Briggs" well, I'm not,
Smith" @Then why have you got
sole agent on your card?"
MINISTER This is fine winter weather,
my dear little man. But I hope you
don't skate on Sunday? Little man
No, sir. 1 always skate on ice.
Mrs. MUDDsICK-Have you anything
that will help keep our skirts out of the
mud? Miss Pert-We have some ele-
CANT embroidered silk stockings, madam.
BoARDER-What is good for reducing
flesh, Mrs. Baconfry? Mrs. B.-A lot
of hungry boarders like I have got, 1
should think, by the way I have to fry
meat.
The modest and unassuming hen
never dreams of proudly seeking indie
pendence in a profession. She is con-
tent to remain a useful lay member of
society.
"How ABOUT the hip-pocket?" in
CURED the tailor. Il want it large
enough for pocket-pistol, said the
customer. "Yes, sir. Kentucky, sir,
or Maine?"
BENEvoLENCE.- THAT is the sixth
rabbit you have missed to-day" Il
don't care. 1t is my birthday, and I
want to see none but cheerful faces
about me-"
GENTLEMAN-Can / see your mis-
tress? Servant girl-No, sir; she has
the toothache. Conformation IS
that possible? Why, I have her teeth
in my pocketI
Mr.. STIcKNEY-I have come, Mr..
Henpeck, to ask for the hand of your
daughter. Mr.. .Henpeck-Bless you,
nv boy, take her; and may the Lord
have mercy on your soul.
HUSBAND with my-mother's-never-
did air. Phew! bow the chimney
smokes! Wife (calmly)-Well, that's
common failing. But the chimney has
an advantage over some smokers; it
don't cost it % cents every Whit.
Mrs. Al think Mrs. Smiths death
is such a sad one. Ny heart fairly
aches for Mr.. Smith. Mrs. B.-Yes,
and the poor little children. 1t is
terrible visitation. Be at the funeral?
Mrs. A.-Oh, yes. Mrs. B.-What are
you going to wear?
How DID you like Mr.. BIS sing
ing ct the concert last night?" asked a
lady of a woman accustomed to sur
prising her friends by her unexpected
speeches. ooh, 1 enjoyed it very
muchr' was the enthusiastic reply
He is really quite prima donna, isn't
he?"
JoNEs-I suppose you take lots of
comfort with your new baby, Brown?
Brown-Well, 1 should say so. Let
me tell you how cunning he is. Jones
I'd very much like to hear. but to
tell the truth, Pm due on the next
block in four hours from now. Some
other time, Brown.
ELDERLY Spinster-I can't see why
you young girls should be so absurdly
timid. You can't walk block after
dark without being in an agony of fear.
thinking that somebody may be follow
ing you. do you never look back to
see if some man is following you?"
%No What's the use? 1t wouldn't be
my luck"
Some one, not a newspaper man,
comes out in q prominent review adj