davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Delta independent., 1890-09-02
Kansas Philosophy.

When your ship finally comes in It
may be q wreck.
A fool can never sit in a corner; he
u always in the middle of the room.
It IL not what others think Of YOU
that makes you; it is what you think of
others.
When you find . man who is fond Of
staying at home, his wife finds fault
about It.
People are never satisfied: women
want to wear pants, and men do wear
dress suits.
People who are fond of dancing
ought to learn to play the fiddle. and
save that expense.
When q man has . sore throat and II
hurts him to swallow, he wants to swal.
low all the time.
A man never feels 50 bad that he will
not feel worse II no one asks him what
he is feeling badly about.
= When o man reaches 40 he begins to
TO look around for the names Of men
who distinguished themselves after that
age. .
II he IL not careful. . busy man will
do 10 many things wrong during day
that Il would have been better had be
not worked At all
When rooster clucks. and = rooster
runs up instead of puilet, the second
rooster Is very apt to think that the
worm 10 mighty small for the amount
Of noise made.
When q man il sick the women
around the house claim that they ured
him with washes of salt and vinegar
and gargles of onions and honey, and
thss The Doctor had nothing to do With
k-Akehison Globe,
The Delta independent., 1890-09-02
An Antidote for CowardiCe.

Just after the battle OF Antietam five
recruits came down for my company.
There was no bounty jumpers at that
stage of the game, although the
courage and patriotism of all the re-
cruits could not be youched for. One
of the batch was named Danforth, a
farmers sou fresh from the corn fields,
and as we took up the line of march to
head Lee of and bring him to bay Dan.
forth said to me.
See here, Sergeant I've made q
mistake"
How"
II hain't got no sand l allus
thought had, but when come down
here and see what war is. find hain't
got the spunk of rabbit"
That's bad"
so it is. We're going to have q
fight purity soon. and l know what'll
happen. shall bolt as sure as shoot
ing"
Then you'll be called coward. and
be disgraced forever
That's so. and don't want it. l
want you to do me great favor"
"Well?"
"Wall, if kin git mad pll be all
right, and forgit my shaking. Keep
your eye on me, and as soon as we git
within five miles of the rebels kick me
good and stout"
After some further talk I promised
him. We were in Hooker's corps, and
as we moved in against Jackson Dan.
forth obliqued alongside and said:
Sergeant, kick me or / shall bolt.
l haven't got sand enough to see .
chicken die"
We were moving through the timber,
and stepped behind him and Gifted"
him twice as hard as / could kick He
shot aside. and next time saw him we
were at fence on the edge Of corn
field. The fire was hot and men were
falling thick. had just fired from a
rest on the top rail when Dauforth
came up, faced the other way, and
said:
More kicks, Sergeant! l know I've
dropped two of 'em, but my sand is go.
ingr'
kicked him with good deal Of
vigor, and just then we got the order
to advance, and he was the first man
over the fence. Half an hour later we
were driven back. considerably dis
organized. and as reached the fence
came across Danforth again. He had
arebel Captain by the collar, and was
carrying the officers sword in his hand.
As he saw me he called out:
Sand is all right. Sergeant. No
more kicks. AS soon AS take this
chap to the rear I'm going back and
collar old Stonewall himself or die try
ingl"-M Y. Sun.
The Delta independent., 1890-09-02

tree standing near the courthouse well.
quivered. The air was warm. When
ever a woman appeared on the street,
q futtering of white was seen. Tho
sun had been blazing all day, but was
now hidden by gathering of clouds In
the west. The courthouse bell struck
three. and several women. arrayed in
calico and sun-bonnets. came out of a
store. climbed into wagon and drove
away. The leaves on the locust tree
fiuttered and the canvass of the avn.
ings began to flap against the posts.
''Uncle john said the county clerk,
meeting an old farmer in the street. II
believe we are going to have a storm"
"Yes. looks sorter that way"
A stiff breeze sprang up even while
they were talking. The down of the
dandelion fitted past. A horse broke
loose from the rack and ran away. A
rose bush in the courthouse yard
shook its blooming head. Then there
followed silence so profound that it
seemed as if nature were holding her
breath, and then all the dust of the
street arose in the air. In another
moment there was terrific roar. The
cloud had burst and cyclone had
struck the town. The houses, built of
wood. vanished-the rack horses and
all were gone. The great oak tree
under which so many boys, now gray
with age, had played, fell with loud
crash. and an old man was thrown into
its wavering "lap" and torn to pieces.
A woman fell on her knees and
shrieked as she saw her child flying
through the air, and the next moment
she lay dead with heavy beam lying
on her neck. The cupola of the court
house was hurled through the storm
with the bell tolling. and an old COW,
with her bell ringing. was smashed to
death between two flying pieces of tim
ber. The rose bush in the courthouse
yard lay fiat on the ground.
Tho storm was gone; of the sleepy,
contented town, nothing was left but
q wild scene of desolation. The great
oak tree lay on the ground. The rose
bush in the courthouse yard straight-
ened up and shook its blooming head.
Strength and majesty were dead; beau.
ty and sentiment still llived.-ArIa1asas
IrQueler
The Delta independent., 1890-09-02
They Were All Ducks.

The many thefts of poultry and pro-
duce from farmers in the small North
Atlantic seaport towns by the crew of
the man-of-war Powbatan some years
ago had at last caused the officers to
take action toward Furnishing the of.
tenders. The men were all no.
titled that dire punishment would be
inflicted upon them if they continued
in their ncfarious practice, and for a
while chicken could stroll along the
beach with the utmost impunity while
the vessel was in port. This did not
last long. however. and one day while
the ship was anchored in small sea-
lowed to go ashore. When the officer
of the deck was importuned for per.
mission he replied:
Yes. you may, but if hear Of you
robbing = hen roost l will put you in
double irons for twenty days
Pat" Harvey, an Irishman. who act
ed as spokesman promised that no
hen roosts would be robbed, and the
men left the ship.
Early next morning an iratc farmer
came on board and swore that the
men had entered his barn and carried
off several hundred pounds of poultry.
All who went ashore were called up
and the officer of the deck, who hap
pcned to bs the same that let the men
of, pounced upon Harvey.
Didn't you." he cried. promise
not to rob a hen house if let you go
ashore?"
Sure Oi did. SIR" replied Harvey.
We didn't take hen. sur: they're all
ducks"
Harvey was right. There were
eighteen ducks found when the mess
chest was searched. but there was not
single chicken among them.-M. Y.
Herald.
The Delta independent., 1890-09-02

A multitude Of people is yearly passing
from the West to the East. To those who
have not been advised we wish TO say that
the Great Burlington Route. with it's un-
equalled equipment and daily through
train service, offers the best facilities fol
all classes Of travel to all points east
northeast and southeast.
All trains of this line are made up OF fin.
est Pullman palace sleeping cars, Horton
reclining chair cars (free) and elegant day
coaches The trains on the Burlington
Route are vestibuled and carry the famous
Huntington Route Dining Cars" serving
all meals en- route on Trains and 9 be
tween Denver and Chicago. The Burling-
ton is the shortest line TO Chicago and
quickest time and best connections are
made by this route.
Start right on your journey by asking
for tickets via the Great Burlington Route
Colorado headquarters, 100 Larimer ST..
Denver, Colo.
The Delta independent., 1890-09-02

It was Ben Johnson, we be.
lieve, who, when asked Nal.
locks question, "Is life worth
living 7" replied That de.
pends on the Avey." And Ben
Johnson doubtless saw the
double point to the pun.
The liver active-quick-
life rosy, everything bright,
mountains of trouble melt like
mountains of snow.
The liver sluggish-life dull,
everything blue, molehills of
worry rise into mountains Of
anxiety, and as a result-sick
headache, dizziness, constipa-
ton.
Two ways are open. Cure
permanently, or relieve tenn
porarily. Take a pill and suf
fer, or take pill and get well.
Shock the system by an over.
dose, or coax it by a mild,
pleasant way.
DR.. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets
are the mild means. They
work effectively, without pain,
and leave the system strong.
One, little, sugar coated pei.
let is enough, although a
whole vial costs but IS cents,
The Delta independent., 1890-09-02
Startling Discovery.

The discovery by the Inhabitants OF .
locality hitherto unvisited by the pestilent
soourge Of fever and ague, that 1t exists in
their very midst, is decidedly startling.
Such discoveries are made at every season,
In every part of the Union. Subsequently,
when 1t 10 sscertained, as it invariably is
at such times, through the valuable exper-
ience OF some one who has been benefited
and cured, that Hostetter's Stomach Bit
ters is thoroughly eficacious eradicator
OF the malarial poison, and q means Of
fortifying the system against 1t, feeling
OF more security and tranquility reigns
throughout the whole neighborhood. Be.
sides the febrile forms Of malarial disease,
dumb ague and ague cake are removed by
the potent action of the Bitters, to which
science also gives its sanction as remedy
for rheumatism, dyspepsia, constipation,
liver complaint. debility, kidney troubles,
and all diseases impairing the organs of
digestion and assimilation.
The Delta independent., 1890-09-02
Voluntary Evidence Of Many Who
Have Derived Benefit from
the Gun Wa Herb
Remedies.

GEoRGETowS, Colo, April 20, 1890.
Gun Wa Herb Remedy Co.-Having
taken course OF your medicine for
seminal weakness from which had
been suffering for ten years and hav-
ing given sufficient time to prove that
am permanently cured take pleas
uIe In recommending the treatmsut
TO others who are afflicted In the same
manner. feeling certain that they will
derive the same benefit and permanent
cure that have done.
Yours truly.
ANDREW JOHNSON.
The Delta independent., 1890-09-02
Death of a Parrot from Grief.
Mr.. Torbert Of Madison, Ga. was I

Mr.. Torbert Of Madison, Ga. was the
owner Of Il pet parrot. Tho bird was
good talker and much petted by the
rmily. During the recent illness of
!r. Torbert it seemed to und stand
,at something WAS wrong and ceased
talk. After his death it would pay
attention to anything around the
lace. and Il few days subsequently
led. The parrot was particularly
ttted by Torbert. and its death was
'doubledIy caused by gEiee.
The Delta independent., 1890-09-02
COMM ENDA8LE.

All claims not consisten: with the high
character Of Syrup of Figs are purposely
avoided by the Cal. Fig Syrup Company.
It acts gently on the kidneys, liver and
bowels, cleansing the system efYectually,
but 1t II not q cure-all and makes no pre-
tensions that every bottle will not sub
Stantiate
The Delta independent., 1890-09-02
morse.s scr,oo, snoes,

Made in our large factory at Omaha.
Nebraska. Ask your dealer fol- them
Refuse to take any others. II not kept
in your town, write US asking where
to get them. They wear longer and
fit better than any other shoes. Shoes
have always been made too narrow.
We make them wide. A reward Of
Fifty Dollars in gold paid for every
pair Of our own make OF shoes that
contains particle Of shoddy. or any
thing but solid leather. We make
$50 styles Of Women's, Misses and
Children's Sewed and Standard Screw,
Grain. Glove, Kid and Dongola- Ele-
CANT styles, wide and good fitting. We
also carry $50 styles OF Mems Goods.
Rubbers, &c.
w. v. MORSE q CO..
Shoe Manufacturers, Omaha. Neb.
Wales Goodyear Rubbers are the best
The Delta independent., 1890-09-02
mo Cyclone and the Rose.

/, a sudden hush seemed to have fallen
n,cn the village. The farmers horses,
isstessd to the rack on the public
equare. stood closer together and the
Sowu COW walked briskly toward home
wlperu her calf stood. rubbing his head
against the fence. The canvass avn
iagx II frpnt Of the stores. trent blsd and
e0elIo1 asa ths lssvss on The LOCUST
The Delta independent., 1890-09-02
"how to See NiaRara. :"

Is valuable, practical guide to tho great
cataract, illustrated by twenty fine plates
from instantaneous photographs, finely
printed and tastefully bound. 1t will be
sent to any address by mail, postage paid,
on receipt of postal note or money order
for SOC. By o. w RUGGLEs,
G. P. & T. A, Michigan Central.
Chicago, Ill.
The Delta independent., 1890-09-02
New Papers.

We have two or three complete newspa
per outfits suitable for publication OF
small weekly papers which we will sell
cheap. We have also some second han6
presses for sale at bargain. Address
WESTERN NEWSPAPER UNION,
Denver, Colo
The Delta independent., 1890-09-02
New Deal on the Santa Fe.

The Thunderbolt train leaving Denver
daily AZ 8 p. n., Colorado Springs at Z sc
p. m. and Pue bio at 9;25 p. m., carries
through vestibule and chair cars to Chica
go, arriving at Chicago the second morn
ing at S go serving supper out of Denver
in Santa Fe Route famous vsstibule din
ing cars. This is the only line running
dining cars in and out Of Denver. For q
East. Double daily train service to all
California points.
The Delta independent., 1890-09-02

Invalids. aged people, nursing mothers,
overworked, wearied out fathers, will find
the happiest results from judicious use
of DIR. Sherman's Prickly Ash Bitters.
Where the liver or kidneys are affected,
prompt action is necessary 70 change the
comes cnronic-possibly incurable, and
there is nothing better to be found in the
whole range Of materta medtcd. Sold
everywhere.
The Delta independent., 1890-09-02

II costs England 5000, 900 annually 70
support the Queen and the rest OF the
deck.
The Delta independent., 1890-09-02

A medicine that has been sold for years
must have merit This is the case with
PRIcKLY ASH BITTERs.
The Delta independent., 1890-09-02

The man who wrote "All things come u
him who waits" thought Of 1t when hs
was fishing off Coney Island beach.
The Delta independent., 1890-09-02

]. A. JOHNSON, Medina, N. Y, says
"Halps Catarrh Cure cured me-" Sold by
Druggists, roc.
The Delta independent., 1890-09-02

No matter how great burden 1t IL Il
him, the doctor can usually endure life II
he has patients.
The Delta independent., 1890-09-02

When the weather is miserable It IL moi
difficult to find many men who have seer
better days.
The Delta independent., 1890-09-02

Faith may move mountains, but one has
not moved In this country for long time
The Delta independent., 1890-09-02

Tho amanuensis seconds his employers 9
efforts by making a minute Of his remarks.
The Delta independent., 1890-09-02

1t 10 an awful strain on . woman's pa
thence to have husband who thinks he
knows how to cook
The Delta independent., 1890-09-02

The popularity of Dobbins' ElectricSoap
IL that 1t acts right on the dirt and stains
in clothes and makes them pure as snolo,
ut the same time it preserves the clothes,
and makes them keep clean longer. Have
your grocer order it.
The Delta independent., 1890-09-02

Some people are always getting into Q
boz, and asking you 70 lift the lid.
The Delta independent., 1890-09-02
DENVER, Colo April 4. 1890.

DENVER, Colo April 4. 1890.
Gun Wa Herb Remedy Co.--This 10
70 certify that my wife. has been
sufferer for years from female trouble.
She took ono treatment OF three weeks
from GUN WA HERB REMEDIES and
derived more benefit than she ever had
from all the doctors she ever tried.
she and both chcerfully recommend
and urge sufferers to give the GUN
WA HERB REMEDIES trial. We
will be happy TO substantiate the
above In person Mt our homo. 81S5
Lawrence Street.
G. w. FAusLxR.
The Delta independent., 1890-09-02
Have You Ever Tried Them7"

Apple pie order is not uncommon even In
slovenly restaurant.
The Delta independent., 1890-09-02

1t is very strong minded man who car
have a bad cold and not have the influ-
enZa
The Delta independent., 1890-09-02

The best natured man down town Is the
man who has women folks at home to
grumble At
The Delta independent., 1890-09-02

whsn Baby was sick, We gave her Castoria,
when shs was . Child, she cried for CastosiA,
Whom she became Mis-, she chung 20 Castoria,
Whom she hsh Children, she gave them Cast0ria
The Delta independent., 1890-09-02

Miss Laura-''Do you warrant these cor
sets" Clerk-"Uusually. Er-you are
not engaged, are youi"
The Delta independent., 1890-09-02

sampson was the first man to get sah
On him.
The Delta independent., 1890-09-02

Mild, gentle, soothing and
healing is DR.. Sage's Catarrh
Remedy. Only SO cents.
The Delta independent., 1890-09-02
The Secret of Success.

The success that Messrs. Loomis & Ny
man, of Tiffin, o., have met with in the
manufacture of Well Boring Machinery is
due largely to the fact that they have
every facility for manufacturing first-class
machines, and are thoroughly responsible
in all dealings, and have been engaged in
the business for over thirty years. Also
by liberal patronage of the Newspapers.
Their advertisement of "Bore Wells" is
terested in the subject should write for
catalogue to Messrs. Loomis & Nyman,
Tifiin, Ohio.
The Delta independent., 1890-09-02

That man is lucky who can partake Of
meals that his cook also relishes.
The Delta independent., 1890-09-02

w.N.u psavss. ~ vil. ses-nA 3.
.xE I'M :llI:::ss !; :::sssii: Z: s u; = - =
The Delta independent., 1890-09-02

If you succeed you are success. II you
do not, you are q fool. That's the long
and short Of it
The Delta independent., 1890-09-02

Big words sometimes express very small
ideas
The Delta independent., 1890-09-02

CAxox Crrr. Colo, Fob. 10. 1880.
0sW va HssA Remedy Ob.AI have
been taking GUN WA HEDB snH1Gnr
DIES and firmly believe they VIII
completely cure me.
Mks. Gro. H. GHann.
The Delta independent., 1890-09-02


Gun Wa Herb Remedy Co..-Last
month began taking tho GUN WA
HERB REMEDIES for nervous dyspep-
sia and sick headache. ! had suffered
for years. Ladies hnving tho worst
form Of sick hcadachc can only ap-
preciate what I suffered. Have had
for years attacks that nearly drove
me crasy; could not eat anything for
three days. during these periodlcal
attacks. which usually came on about
every ton days. l was utterly ro-
duoed in health and strength. can
truthfully say, however, that never
felt 70 we'll In my life. The remedies
helped mo almost - soon ~ / began.
will cheerfully answer anyone who
asks me questions about what I have
suffered. ELIZA GRlvrrTn.
Southport, Ind.
The Delta independent., 1890-09-02
w. v. MORSE q CO..

Shoe Manufacturers Omaha, Neb.
Wales Goodyear Rubbers are the best
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1890-02-20
Extraordinary Bone Scratching.

Herbert Sperry fremont, Ill, had
Erysipelas in both legs, Confined to
the house six weeks. He says "When
was able to get on my legs, / had an
itching sensation that nearly run me
crazy. scratched them raw to the
bones. Tried everything without re.
lief | was tormented in this way for
twr years, / then found Clark's Elk
tract of Flax (Papillon) skin cure at
the Drug Store, used it, and it has
cured me sound and we'll"
Clark's Flax Soap has no equal for
bath and toilet. Skin cure 81. Soap
% cents. Sold by Mcfarland & Co.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1890-02-20
Electric RiiteTs.

This remedy is becoming so well
known and so popular as to need no
special mention. All who have used
Electric Bitters sing the same song of
praise.-A purer medicine does not ex-
list and it is guaranteed to do all that
is claimed. Electric Bitters will cure
all diseases OF the Liver and Kidneys,
will remove Pimples, Boils, Salt Rhe-
um and other affection caused by inn
pure bllood.-Will drive Malaria from
the system and prevent MS well as cure
all .Malarial fevers, For cure of Head
ache, Constipation, and Indigestion
try Electric Bitters-Entire satisiac-
ton guaranteed, or money refunded.
Price so cts. and $1.00 per bottle at
NJ. A. McFarland's Drugstore
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1890-02-20
Poor Ifumanity!


The common lot is one of sorrow say-at least
the pessimists, they who look at the worst
side Certainly what would otherwise be a
bright existence is often Swallowed by some all,
ment that overhangs it like a pail, obscuring
perpctually the radiance that else would light
the path, Such an ailment, ana very com.
mon one, is nervousness, or In other words,
weakness of the nervous system, a condition
only irremedisble where inefficient or improp,
er means are taken TO relieve it. The concur.
rent experience of nervous people who have
persistently used Hostetter's Stomach Bitters is,
that 1t conquers entirely supersensitiveness of
the nerves, as we'll as dseases-so called
which are invited and sustained by their chron.
ic weakness. AS the nerves gain stamina from
the great tonic the trouble disappears. Use
the Bitters for malaria rheumatism, bilious
ness and kidney troubles.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1890-02-20
Footprints in the Sand.

She-1'm afraid papa doesn't like
you bit, George"
He-"Well, what Of it? I've got too
much sand to be afraid OF that old
man"
She OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES but
sand is just the stuff to make foot
prints in, George"
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1890-02-20
Fact Fused with Fancy.

Lots wife is the first case where the
consequences of looking back are so
apparent, but still the average women
will do it. No matter how nice pass
ing dress or bonnet may appear in
front, she always hopes for some
chance to pick flaws behind,
The Chicago Inter-0cean says that
"the Worlds Fair methods of St.
Louis have been psttaceous.' This
is, of course, abominably false, but it
is generally recognized that the meth
DDS of Chicago have been kynaceQns
and achlamydeous-St. Louis Republ
lie.
Minnie ooh ma, it's all over this
housew Ma, "It1s? What is?"
"Why the roof,
II they had only started fighting
about the site Of the Worlds Fair in
1892 the question might yet be settled
in time.
Mr.. Fainwed. Then you refuse to
marry me?"
Mrs. Maintenance. "For the present
must. My husband is in good health
and we are the best of friends. ! Will
keep your address and if vacancy
should occur will drop you line.
A policeman's expected to know all
things on every day of the week. So
if Sundays you're thirsty and strange
to the town, of course he's the man tc
seek.
My son, don't advertise your griels
II you have crooked legs do not wear
striped pantaloons.
The church trustees wanted the
amateur choir suppressed on the
ground that their uncertain efforts
were nothing more than a game Of
chants"
Customer. "You advertise these
gloves, former price seventy five cents
per pair, now one.half off, and yet you
are charging seventy-four cents pei
pair. How is that?"
Polite shopkeeper, "They were
thirty-seven and a half cents each
now they are thirty.seven cents
That's one-half off as advertised"
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1890-02-20
To Tourists and TrAYelers.

The CINCINNATI, HAMILTON & DAY
TON RAILROAD is the popular route
and only Pullman Sleeping Car Line
between CINCINNATI and CHICAGO via
INDIANAPOLIS, and is preferred by
many who travel between Cincinnati
and st. Louis. The road is one Of the
oldest in the State Of Ohio, the only
line entering Cincinnati over twenty
five miles of double track, and iiom
its past record can assure its patrons
speed, safety and comfort.
The G. II. & d. r r. is the Only
Direct Line between Cincinnati and
Toledo, Detroit, the Lake Regions and
Canada. In travelling to or from Gin
cinnati to indianapolis, Chicago ST.
Louis, Decatur, Springfield, Peoria,
Hamilton, Dayton, Toledo or Detroit,
patrons are assured Sleeping Cars on
Night trains and Parlor Cars on Day
Trains the year round.
Tickets for sale everywhere, and
see that they read @ H & D. r. r.
either in or out Of Cincinnati, Indian
apolis or Toledo.
EtO. MCCORMICK,
General Pass and Ticket Agent.