Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1890-11-22
The Conversationalist, the Dinner
Giver and the Old Family Servant.
ALLTHREE ARE GREAT BooNs
Some Philosophical Reflections Upon
she Necessities OF Perfect social suc-
cess-Morc Blcssings Among Women
Than Men.
Written for TEE EVENING srAR.


noblest work of the Almighty, but then he is a
great talker himself and was speaking entirely
from personal point OF view. The ''old man"
| being great eater. declared a man that gave
| good dinners was the best man in the world.
and the 'deah boy" who is rich and lazy,
thought good family servant was the most de-
siraeie thing on earth. They were not far out
| OF the way after all
THE WOMAN WHO LISTENS WELL
Now, the woman who listens well is the one
that converses we'll, for conversation is not
monologue. The person that simply listens,
although she appears to listen well, will event
ually be found out She is not SO modest IL
| sne Is bright, that she is content to hear simply
what you have to say without having her own
say. You are boring her and you'll find 1t out
ana then your conversation will not have been
Pheasant to you. She Is iatterer. this listener
ana nothing else. She starts you on your
nooby, she Is wrapt in attention as you ride
the poor brute 10 death. You pause for an in
slant and she says a word showing the deepest
interest In subject that is in reality entirely
undressing to her, and off you 60 again. But
wnen you finally dismount your ROzlnante and
| take your leave you are painfully conscious
| That You did all the talking; that your ideas
were being exhibited the whole evening. and
IL you know that she has ideas Of her own. you
cannot help the reflection that she might her
| z.
ana you may come to the conclusion that the
lady has been practicing a mild amount Of
| hypocrisy.
STORY OF MADAME DE sTAEI-
There is story told of how Madame de
| Stael being introduced to gentleman i'll Paris,
| talked to him for an hour and a half and then
pronounced him q most intelligent man. only
| to discover later that he was as deaf as an
adder, and hadn't heard one word that had
been said to him. The person that simply lis
| tens Is no better than he. for while he couldn't
hear, the other doesn't really care to hear
These professional takers people who ICON
witticlsms before dinner and recte them at
| the table, are the ones that enjoy the silent
listener. but the real conversationalist speaks
| spontaneously and must have some one to talk
with and not simply to talk to.
OLD cHAPPIE WAS RIGHT.
| "Old chappie" was right when he said a
woman that conversed well was a social bless
ing, and there are mahy more blessings Of this
kind among women than there are among men.
| Women, generally speaking, have more leisure
than men have; they read more light litera-
| ture; they see more company and they give
| more attention to the elegancies of life In
| fortunately, the men who do nothing in our
| country, who should be the ones to cultivate
the ornamental side of life, are not usually
| capable OF cultivating anything but their own
personal adornment. Here is an instance:
Young Van Drinker of New York is noted as
| one Of the greatest swells of that metropolis,
/ and he called one evening upon Mrs. -, who
| Is most charming woman with taste
| for the company of intellectual men. A pro-
! fessor was there when Van Drinker paid his
| call and presently the conversation happened
to turn upon materialsm. Van Drinker sat
twirling his mustache and 1glancing at his
| rings, but he never said a word.
WHAT HIS VIEWS WERE.
The lady turned to him after a while:
| And what are you views, Mr.. Won Drinker?
What do you think about the subject" she
| said.
He turned his sapphire ring about and looked
at it a little uneasily. He hemm'd and haw'd
he looked at his pointed patent-leather shoes
he lightly stroked his peaked beard and at
length his ideas flowed:
"Aw," he said in q fine contralto, "aw,
yaws, yaws; think SO, paws'tively think SO
paws'tiveiy do!'
| The question of materialism was not OF much
| consequence in his eyes, His mind was wrapped
up In thoughts of his rings and clothes.
MORE LEISURE NEEDED.
But if it is impossible 10 get good CONVEX
| sationalist out of fool that does nothing it is
equally unreasonable to expect man to cult
| vate this luxury OF social life when almost all
| Of his time is devoted to his business or his
| profession. The shop should not be lugged
|
can it be expected that it should be excluded
| from those sacred precincts when men spend
| so much of their time in the shop? There
| should be more leisure and then there would
| be more men who are able to maintain agree
able conversations.
DINNER TABLE TALK.
Where the conversationalist shines with
most luster is at dinner, and this brings US
| around to the remark at the beginning of this
| article OF the "old man." who thought that the
giver Of good dinners was the greatest social
| blessing Of all. Perhaps he is, and he is not
only blessing, but he is usually man of in
| teiligence as well. Cookery ID an art" says
Brillat Savarin "but to roast requires genius. 3"
That is remark that applies to cooks and not
| to the employers OF cooks. The latter require
talent. not only in the planning of the menu but
| also in the selection of the people who are to
| discuss it. man is generally dependent upon
| the servants in the matter of the food and it's
| cooking, and the good masculine dinner giver
| is thus nearly always a man Of means but the
| female dinner giver, who Is the greatest bless
| ing of all, noed not be rich. Bad housekeepers
careless wives who do not love good eating
themselves and are Indifferent to the feelings
OF others, always have poor cooks. But the
woman who takes the trouble to teach the
cook and to superintend her when she is en-
gagged in her difficult art, nay, the elegant we'll
bred lady who does not disdain herself to
| sometimes make good dish and who is not
ashamed to tell Her guests tnat their praises of
it are due to her rather than to her cook this
is the woman whom to dine with is a pleasure.
OUR aRASDMoTHERs WERE GOOD COOKS.
Our grandmothers could teach their de-
scendants useful lesson in this matter, for
| they were nearly all good cooks, and it was
considered highly proper that they should con-
tribute to the happiness OF the people who
dined with them by contributing TO the cook
ing Of the dinner. The old-fashioned dinner
lighter, shorter feasts OF tho present day are
much better. Moreover, our grandfathers
drank too much after dinner and often went
home drunk, a thing that happens rarely at a
dinner party now, but the hand Of the lady of
the house was often apparent in the good
cooking Of the feast and nowadays all this de-
ponds too much upon the talents of the cook.
II is not to be supposed that the species of
| ''old chappie" and "old man" and "deah bows"
really know much about the art of conversation
or about good dinners or good servants but
they think they do, and the three that have
been mentioned here happened to say what
were the greatest social blessings with tolera-
BILE discrimination.
SOMETHING ABOUT sHRvANrs.
Now the subject OF servants is perhaps the
most important household problem Of the
present day. The truth Of the matter ID that
American life doesn't develop good servanta
The American would rather do anything else
than be servant, because o servant 10 SO gen.
orally degraded into Q mere mental To
blacken another mans boots to help another
man to dress, TO run on another mans erranda