Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1890-10-09

M.1.M-
MR.. BowsER KICKED AT THE CAT.
tinued, as he dumped the last of the
clothes out of the hamper.
"But what has that hamper to do with
it?"
Every thing. Mrs. Bowser, did you
ever hear of spontaneous combustion?"
''Of course"
''Well, there hasn't been day that
all the elements necessary to spontane-
Gus combustion haven't been present in
this hamper. Also, in various other
places in this house. 1 shudder over our
narrow escape"
"You-you haven't gone and got an
other fire-escape, have your
There you go! Always ready to throw
up something! suppose you'll can this
a notion of mine?"
What has spontaneous combustion
got to do with our clothes hamper?"
. Every thing. Here are the elements
right here to start fire. Here are cot
ton, wool and silk crowded together in
a temperature of at least ninety de-
grees Nothing could be more favor
able"
II don't believe it!''
What! Whatw shouted Mr.. Bowser
holding up FELLOWSHIP in one hand and
one of baby's stockings in the other.
'You don't believe in spontaneous COM
bnstion!'
Under certain conditions. yes, but
those conditions can not be found here.
Some one hes been working on your
Imagination"
o'Oh! They have! On my magma
toni he softly whispered. ''When
every scientist and scientific publication
believes lin spontaneous combustion
when it is practically demonstrated
every day in the year, when
it is fact is as well known as that
horse has teeth, you stand there and
tell me that I have been played on!
Mrs. Bowser, will you have the kindness
to go dowp-stairs?"
went down, and he took every article
from the hamper and spread them out
on the floor. Then he went through
every clothes-closet and bureau drawer,
and it was fully two hours before he
came down and heaved a great sigh of
relief, and said:
There! We shall not be burned alive
not to-night!'
''There was no danger" replied.
There wasn't, eh! Mrs. Bowser, +
I-v
His emotion overcame him, and got
opportunity to say:
why don't other peoples houses burn
up through spontaneous combustion?"
No answer.
ST haven't seen any thing in the papers
about clothes-hamper explosion
Mr.. Bowser gritted his teeth.
IF it has got to that pass that the
sheets off the spare bed can't come in
contact with the baby's stockings with
out striking fire, we'd better fill the cell
lar with tin boxes"
Mr.. Bowser kicked at the cat, but
missed her by about two feet
''But there1l be a fire, of course. You
have overlooked an old vest somewhere,
and it will get down off its hook and
arrange for bonfire. I shan't sleep a
wink tonight"
Mr.. Bowser circled around the room
went off TO bed. When he was out of
the cook. The result was that we
orouS III dill run hcGIlc lutO Cuo lrOnL
hall. got out some contemplating, and as
went upstairs, she whispered to me:
81 understand, ma'am. In exactly
half an hour I'm to touch it off,"
Mr.. Bowser was in bed, and though /
spoke about the cool wave, baby's cold
and other things, he had nothing to say.
WASN'T hurt, however. got into bed
and waited. 1t wasn't over ten minutes
until the odor of burning cotton was
plain enough in the room, and I sat up
and gave Mr.. Bowser dig and asked:
Don't you smell smoker"
Smoker he shouted, after sniff or
two. II smell fire!'
Perhaps the cook lighted the gas
with paper"
perhaps the COMPOUNDED house is
afire! Che jumps out of bed) of course it
is! (he goes to the door, she's all ablaze
downstairs! Fire! Fire!"
The baby!" shouted as he danced
around, but he was gone, carrying his
pantaloons and one shoe under his arm
He ran down the hall, shouting .sfirer
at the top of his voice, came back and
grabbed his necktie and shouted again,
and the next l heard of him he was in
front of the house yelling like an Indian.
Half dozen men were going by, on
their Wy hsme from some sort of con.
vention, ana they rushed into the house
and soon located the fire. heard Mr..
Bowser telling them that he had long
expected it, and that he had the most
careless wife in the world, and that he