The Sunday herald and weekly national intelligencer., 1890-11-09
cidedly Oriental when the yellow is to the fore
TIE LATEST TOILET TARLE

THE LATEST TOILET TABLE.
A typical toilet table is heart-shaped, with
point toward the window before which it
stands. On it is a large mirror framed in silver
and heart-shaped in its outline, and then all the
little belongings-the brushes the boxes, the
trays-arc spread out on the heltotrope velvet
cover Below this over velvet, is deep frill
of lace, and really for second the effect is that
of priests vestments. On the writing table,
which is of mahogany, are sticks of heliotrope
sealing wax, the note paper is very pale hell
otrope, with cipher in gold, while the tele-
graph blanks are in a heliotrope velvet case
that has yfeur-dc-HS worked upon it in gold
thread. The minutest detail of the furniture
is in the proper shade, and it would be abso-
lutely impossible for young woman to have
the blues in that room she might lay claim to
the 'vapors'-that funny old-fashioned word
but the blues would not be in harmony. And
the swagger girl is nothing if not harmonious.
THE METROPOLIS HAS A COLD.
From the lady in silks and laces down to the
lady from Erin in blanket shawl who brings
home your washing, one democratic trouble pre-
walls, and that is-a cold. l have seen an en-
tire household afflicted with it, brave men and
fair women bent before it, and everybody had
different remedy; hot scotch and foot bath is
sort of a plaster and black draught or a
Dover's powder, or a large dose of quinine and
hot lemonade are advised by women folks l
don't approve of women doctors any more than
l do of women lawyers, but like to hear the
amateur exploit her knowledge and try her doses
on some innocent victim.
For this reason, and this only am willing
to tell the world at large what l advise for a
cold. First, mustard plaster on your chest
Wear it until you have an idea how it must feel
to be in the Inferno and have the host direct
that your chest shall be fired and that alone.
Then take black draught A black draught is
truthful in its name. 1t is as black as the ace
OF spades, and it tastes and smells like com
btnation of a photograph gallery and the
morgue, but it is wonderful in its effect. Some
people take whole bottle of it, but they be-
long to a race of giants; others consume half
bottle, and take two tablespoonfuls. After
the joys of the mustard plaster and the bliss of
the black draught sleep with the hot-water bot
tle-let it be movable piece perambulating
around wherever you may be chilly. This treat
ment will cure cold, and is the only one rec
ommend under any circumstances. 1t is true
that some people prefer to have the cold, but
they are people who do not really enjoy life at
its fullest
THINGS WHICH ARE UNPLEASANT.
There are always unpleasant people in this
world people who don't think just as you do
It's like the good and bad men; the men we like
are good men, and the men we don't like are
bad men.
1t is unpleasant when you think you are en-
tertaining number of people by giving them
your opinion of a book to have somebody say:
81 didn't know yOu'd ever set up for critic
What's your claim? Lack of brain ~
1t is unpleasant when you know your dogs
pedigree hasn't single bar sinister in it to have
somebody ask "IVhere did you get that ?"
1t is unpleasant when you have put all your
money in well-ftting trig cloth gown to have
some man say; ga woman never seems womany
to me unless she wears aces and silks"
1t is unpleasant when you do know just how
much money you spent and just how much you
started out with, and you try to straighten an
account and find you have spent more money
than you had and there is still seventy-five
cents in your purse, to have a man look at you
and wonder audibly: SIS there any woman in
the world who knows the multiplication table p,
| 1t is unpleasant when you like somebody to
have somebody else wonder what you can see in
them, or when you enjoy play to have some
body wonder that such triles could amuse YOU,
or when you like bit of candy to have them
ask how sensible woman can eat such stuff,
and then tell you what it is made Of All these
things are very unpleasant. However, they do
exist, and the only thing that one can do is to
smile and ignore them That's the policy of
BAB.
ARRESTED FOR ENIBEZZLEMENT