St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-12-07
GLOBE TR0TTERS.

not wisely but altogether In the wrong d.
rection-too spasmodicaliy and heartily, in
ract. His candid offer of marriage addressed
that evening to his landlady, Mrs Plimsoll,
had been spasmodically and heartily refused.
consequently his smolhered emotions surged
WITHIN him, and the great surge was not
apated when the landlady stopped him in the
front hall and cruelty reminded him of an
unpaid board bill that had been running a
neck-and-neck race with his great love for
about sixteen weeks. John Paul was non
0lussed and agitated. Here he stood face to
FACE with a couple of bitter disappontments
ana relentless landlady with steely glitter |
in both eyes.
II have wealthy uncle" he whispered
hoarsely, land he has mentioned me in his
will"
0hat is bad" replied the idol of his heart
Why so!" inquired John Paul
The present tense, have a wealthy uncle
is very bad, very bad tor you, but worse for
me. The past tense would be preferable in
thls instance. Now, ii you had had wealthy
uncle who had mentioned you in his will,
now mnch better it would now seem all
around But I am led to infer that your
wealthy uncle is still violently alive and like
~ 10 remain so indefinitely
True" answered John Paul SADLY "my
uncle has insisted upon living right along
and permitting me to suffer the pangs Of
pangs Of
'fangs of what? Not hunger certainly.
You have been well fed at my table, John
Paul. What pangs have you suffered
Inc pangs of work" replied John Paul
bitterly. Two tears welled upward to his
eyes and guttered down his thin. wan cheeks.
Yes, the country may go gallywest and
crooked, but my uncle still lives.'
Il shall expect my pay tomorrow" said
Nj hric
ness'
Yes, you are as cruel as you are beautiful.
GU Will go on expecting pay and my uncle
VIII go on living. At least. he has SO far. 1
think 1t habitual with him. chronic, as it
We're Good evening, Mrs. Plimsoll"
Ihere was sound of revelry that night
but not in the Plimsoll hostel John Paul
was among small and select coterie far off
In another street. By the advice of ingenious
friends he fixed upon a plan-a dern1er re-
sort. AT l O'Clock the following morning a
lively rumpus was heard i'll the Plimsoll din
ing room, and Mrs. Plimsoll awoke. SILVER
ing with fright Then she distinguished
John Paul's voice crying above the uproar:
"a burglar A light, I've got burglar!
And it's alivel Mrs. Plimsoll Mrs. Plim-
sollr'
Then there was more scuffling, and the
landlady appeared at the head of the stairs
In dark brocaded wrapper. with a waxen
taper in her plump. white hand.
I've still got him. yelled John Paul
There were heard the crashing of window
glass and the sound of ashot. Led by Mrs.
Plimsoll, an army of boarders swarmed into
the dining room. There stood John Paul
with smoking revolver in his hand and
holding hat
He's gone, but he's wounded, said John
Paul, II shot him in the lumbar region, and
he'll dier'
But You have saved our lives, my goods,
my watch, my diamonds, my plate!'' said
Mrs Plimsoll.
Il have" said John Paul
4
Two weeks elapsed John Paul and his
wife, relict of Phineas Plimsoll, are sitting
together in the front parlor.
For how much did you say your uncle
had mentioned you i'll his willl'' inquiries
Mrs John Paul
'Oh, he wasn't so severe as he might have
BEEN
''What did he say?''
HE says if his nephew, John Paul. ever
comes to want that his executors must see to
it that am placed i'll charitable institution
to which he has bequeathed $5O0,O0O.'
-
my friends said the Western campaign
orator, why are we here tonight? Has the
long roll of a mighty alarm smitten your
consciences and quickened your hearts to a
newly awakened sense of political duty?
Has the low, sad cry of an enthralled nation,
sitting chained and helpless at the feet of its
own majestic possibilities, caught your atten-
tive ears, and have you swarmed in from the
sun kissed praires to voice mighty protest
that. with ever-swelling chorus. shall roll
echoing onward to the halls of congress?
Why are we here to-night?''
You are here for $50 night and ex
penses,'' replied large, smoothly shaven
man with gold in his teeth. He had appeared
suddenly about midway in the audience, and
now he extended his long arms before him,
and continued: You are a spell-binder.
The rest of MS are here because this happens
to be a prohibition town, and there are no
saloons open. We might just as we'll be
candid about this matter. But my friend,
please hear me. Although we are deprived
of some of the minor comforts of life by too
radical legislation. all is not lost. Listen.
In my room at the hotel is a faro lay out of
superb design and substantial construction.
There you can all play the limit till Aurora
spreads his, or her rosy wings, as the case
may be, for his or her diurnal flight. There
you can deity copper the card
of your choice. and snatch, by
age of the bank. There you can call the
turn and pocket the earnings of patient in
dustry-the kopecks of advanced civilization.
To the right is a roulette wheel that spins to |
your best interests and the music of the |
spheres, and thus impartally distributes Its
monetary favors. There you can bask in fort
une's smiles, unawed by the minions OF the
law. Abaft the roulette wheel is q poker
game in full blast You can sit in. Here,
toe. riches fall impartially. into the Golfers
of the lucky, the pockets of the bold. Come
with me to the gilded halls of Fortunatus-
just across the street. Mr.. Chairman, ALWAYS
in order is the one little motion which now
make bold to offer. l move an adjournment
and call for the ayes and noes. AS the chair
man is slightly paralyzed by my remarks,
will put the motion myself The ayes have
it. Gentlemen, follow me to the realms OF
Cresus."
Although there was but one exit, the hall
was emptied in 2:15 by stop watch.