The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1890-10-21


admirers. l incesseptly talked of her fas
cinatlons, assured my young friends she
was endowed with fortune equal TO the
mines OF Ophlr: that she danced like
dream and possessed all the graces of a
sunbeam across ones path. Then saw to
1t that she had a prominent place in every
cotilion, and a fitting partner; showed her
whom to smile upon and on whom to frown;
gave her the entree to all the nice houses;
criticised severely her toilet until it became
perfect; daily met her on the avenue with
the most charming man In town, whom oy
one preteXt or another, l turned over to |
her; made her constant subject of con-
versation; insisted upon it she was to be |
the belle Of the coming winter; advised
season at Bar Harbor, where
she would learn to firt to her
hearts content and vie with the other girls. |
Her second summer, when she was older, |
L suggested her passing at Newport, where
she should have a pair of ponies. a
pretty trap, with a Well-gotten up groom, |
and Worth to dress her. Here | limited
that much must depend on her fathers
purse as to her wardrobe. AS friend
once said to me, Your pace is charming,
but can you keep it up!' l also advised
keeping the girl well in hand, and not let
ting her give offense to the powers that be;
to see to it that she was not the first to ar
rive and the last to leave a ball and further,
that nothing was more winning in a girl
than pleasant bow and gracious smile,
given to either young or old. The fashion
now for women is to hold themselves erect.
The madame manner of shaking hands l do
not like, but yet it is adopted. Being in
terested in the girls success, | further i'm
pressed upon her the Importance of making
herself agreeable to older people. Remem-
bering that much of her enjoyment would
be derived from them. If asked to dance
cotiliion, let it be conditional that no bo
quet De sent her; to be cautious how she
| refused the first offers of marriage made
her, as they were generally the best.
"a word, just here, 10 the newly married.
1t works well to have the man more in love
with you than you are with him. My advice
to all young married women is to keep up
! flirting with their husbands as much after
marriage as before, to make themselves as
attractive to their husbands after their
marriage as they were when they capti-
waited them; noG to neglect their toilet, but
rather to improve it; to be coquettish after
/ they are bound together as before when no
| ties held them The more they are appreci-
ated by the world. the more will their hus-
bands value them. In fashionable life con-
spicuous jealousy is mistake. A woman
is bound to take and hold high social posi-
ton and in this way she advances and
strengthens her husband. How many
women we see who have benefited their
husbands and secured for them these adj
vantages.
ga young girl should be treated like a
bride when she makes her debut into society.
Her relatives should rally around her and
give her entertainments to welcome her
into the world which she is to adorn 1t is
in excessively bad taste for such relatives
to in any way refer to the cost of these
dinners, balls, etc. Every one in society
knows how to estimate such things. If
taken by the hand by a person in society
you are at once led into the charmed circle
and then your own correct perceptions of
what should or should not be done must do
the rest. As a philosophical friend once
said to me, "A gentleman can always walk,
but he cannot afford to have shabby
equipage.' Another philosopher solilo-
quized as follows, The first evidence of
wealth is your equipage.' By the way,
his definition of aristocracy in America
was the possession of hereditary wealth.
If you want to be fashionable be always in
the company of fashionable people. As an
old beau suggested to me, If you see fossil
of man Shabbily dressed relying solely on
! his pedigree dating back to time immemo-
rial who has the aspirations of duke and
the fortunes of footman, do not cut him. it
| is better to cross the street and avoid
meeting him. 1t Is well to be in
with the nobs who are born to their posi-
} ton. But the support of swells is more
advantageous, for society is sustained and
{ carried on by the swells. The nobs are
| looking quietly on and accepting their posi-
, ton, feeling they are there by divine right
but they do not make fashionable society
or carry it on. A mob can be swell if he
| chooses, if he will spend the money; fol
} his social existence this is unnecessary. A
mob is like poet-nascitur, non fit; not tt
a swell-he creates himself.
2 1.-THE value of the pleasant manner it i;
t impossible to estimate. 1t is like sunshine
g it gladdens; you feel it and are at once
Y attracted to the person without knowing
4 why. When you entertain, do it in an easy
+ natural way, as if it was an every day
! occurrence, not the event of your life
but do it we'll. Learn how tt
do it; never be ashamed to learn
? The best bred men 1 have ever met have al
D ways been the least pretentious, natura
a and simple in manner, modest in apparel
: never wearing anything too voyant or con
: spicuous, but always so well dressed tina
e you could never discover what made then
b so, the good, quiet taste of the whole pro
= ducing the result. Here all men are NOR,
t or less in business, we hardly have a clas
. who are not. They are daily brought il
d contact with all sorts and conditions of me
e and in self defense oftentimes have to &C
d quire sand adopt an abrupt, brusque mar
It uer of address, which, as rule, they gen
r orally leave in their offices when they qui
+, them. If they do not, they certainly shoult
q 1t pays well for young and old to cultivat
s politeness and courtesy. Nothing is game
n by roughly trying to elbow yourself int
d society and pass your way through into tn
l. inner circle. Or when such a one ha
n reachedit he will find thatits atmosphere
It uncongenial and will be only too glad to e:
it cape from it.
II IF you are stout, never wear whit
Waistcoats or conspicuous watchchair
l. Never call attention by them to what yo
lie should try to conceal. In going to tn
opera, If you go to an opera box with ladies
st you should wear white or light French gra
n gloves, otherwise gloves are not worn.
e bouttonniere Of white hyaclnths or whit
n pinks on dress coats is much worn both
at balls and the opera. | think the great Sc
10 cret of life is to be content with the pos
" ton to which God has called you.
s. The first object to be aimed att to max
,e your dinners so charming and agreeabl
r. that invitations to them are eagerly sougl
as for and to let all feel that it is a great pri
lg ilege to dine at your house, where they al
v. sure to meet only those whom they wish
he meet. You cannot instruct people by
g, book how to entertain, though Aristotle
ne talents were devoted to the compilation
I'd code of laws for the table. Success
d. entertaining is accomplished by magnets
re- and TACT which, combined, constitute 8
is cial genius. 1t is the ladder to social SUI
at cess. If successfully done it creates jealous
ne 1.-THE highest cultivation in soual mai
ct ners enables person to conceasfrom Il
world his real feelings He can go throul
s. any annoyance as if it were pleasure;
ne to a rivals house as if to dear friend
SIS smile and smile, and murder rwhile
smiles In planning dinner the questi
rs is not to whom you owe dinners, but who
MS most desirable. The success of dim
a depends as much upon the company as t
u cook. Discordant elements, people invit