New-York tribune., 1890-05-30
CHANCES HERE AND THERE.


town hardware stores in vainnone Of them heard
of the thing" OF not first, because 1t Is tb"
only thing with which man can sharpen MS own
carving knife and for the matter OF that all MS table
knives easily, quickly and properly secondly, be-
cause they all want to sell some cheap john affair
that will not do the work all, but is recognized"
by the trade because they can buy u Tor ve cents and
tool IS store 1TF Ask foy an WasRta gougepag Then
please report to The Tribune.
The wonder is that somebody who has hitherto
taken pains to hear Of this useful and neces
sary implement doesn't :" hear" of it now introduce
it on large scale, advertise 1T so that even he that
crawls must read, and make a small fortune
The first advantage Of buying tn-lIned copper
utensil from bathtubs down, is that you can always
have 1t rctnned The last advantage is that 1t costs
about much TO retin an old one as to buy new
one. For further particulars see small bills OF your
coppersmlth or plumber.
DO you ever wonder what old-or shall say
oder7-ladles can possibly find TO interest them in
sitting hour after hour in the second-story front
Window Or the double-row Of human hollyhocks
lmalc flowers behind the other greenth and the
plate glass in the forefront OF the Windsor OF sunny
sunday afternoon Try it once and wonder no more
It's the passing faces.
you Will be absorbed by the weird fascination
Of it all they drift by in strange silence, every
face bearing It's own message writ In cipher. II you
only had the code, you think. And be as unhappy
as the wise person whom the Boston lady designated ed
deIightfuily,, Of nothing at ali. But you will
So much the better, II you make your observa-
tion from unnotlced niche Just off the great
thoroughare. yet in easiest view and hail Try, for
instance. breakfasting lunchng at The saltwater
just Catherine-cornered (as the nice old lady said
Catherine being far elegant than Kitty, to her
thinking from the slam-bangng Eddy House You
Will not know you have been waiting on the walter
and when your eye has been caught by that queer
little mirror on the iutting corner OF the mansaId
roof over the way you will even forget TO be suIcR
dumb by the magnificent effrontery OF your bill
What can be the meaning OF mirror on a malsard |!
Here Is another trade for those seeking work. I'M
able to find it. and fan TO content themselves with
saying or thinking If l could only get into some
hing" Wash woolens. Flannels, for instance.
simplest thing in the world. As easy tea. Hence
/ not done Wash and rinse in water Of the same
temperature. shake, don't wiring: Wash them on on :
smaller the shrnkage, bigger the pay; II your av-
erage laundryman has any luck at all. he looks 70
one Of hi, accurs aundering so that the giants robe
OF November is the dolls dress Of May.
At the Paris Exposition. let say. Of the light
est completed" OF orr countrymen met the coal
tlackest Of the compatrots Of Henry Morton Stanley
and Of Publus Cornelius Scipio. sr. shiny was the
word. Met first IN the vast grove Of false teeth
again. where the Remington clicked against the time
| of Hammond and the taNRrapH once again. "HcFc
the Edison exhibit coruscaed. Both were beautifully
dressed o shade Of splendor maybe, to the good of
The brunette each bore himself well and with grace
ul dignity: between them, In truth lay but the
choosing Of complexion. Ihen AT Ms hIi thlrd en-,
counter The lips OF the brunette parted broadly and
showed TIE Whteness Of sixteen teeth Chors con
cours,7 not for competItionl -" gnss. you must @ Do
an American he said. lifting his hat am an an
American myself For but an instant the blond felt
the shrill Wind of destiny whstiing down MS spine
| Thou gathering himself with equal courtesy ne re
! piled Alas. no, sir am an African 80 ends
within a week we shall have the whole dapason
Of odors. Indoors. from cochroach via caulitower
to monkey Outdoors, from gas. by ash-bin. to
rrudc petroleum. When tho wind is southerly, with
/ "a bit OF casting in IT, and a warm rain at the tail
Il IT, not even Hamlet himself could tell hawh
from "a handsa~ 10y the smell OF IT, SO ranE = 'ia m
! Iacrce Of the tank. ~ course there really Is no
place for the rank tank ave To- wlndward 'ahd close
iboard) Of million noses. IS there
Did you ever read Na,myth's autobiography You
may do so safely now yon know. since he Is dead Then
do II one 81 the very few genuine autoblogaphes the
world has though not Of course ranking with Frank
Inns or Golionis or even with the 4" fun conie ie,sloIt
u hi--rght boot" as Mr. jingle hit1 H. or tai super
! rascal with the rank of sculptor, qho sighore
/ l.cuvcnuto Cclini
/ Na.lnvth's great invention Of the steam hammer
/ Was made to ORDER as ID were, and thought out at
! A white heat Before setting pencil to paper, he saw
/ hl, object clearly before him. 81 must make a
! U
! novsp Then he sl.etched Ii roughly. from that
! rourh sketch the great hammer was made; from the
/ first II did it~ work perfectly. and no essential
,nc, il think in blows that with one turn OF tho
| controlling lever you may crack walnut without
crushing il. while Oh the next Won may make IL step
on "A white hot bloom with the weight OF ever so many
| tons, and see il come out crank or shaft so Dig
| you must have a derrick to llit H.
curiously enough. only two inventions are known
that were born perfect Even these are hardly twins
IA.
for the second was Nasmyths blow-thnker ana tle
hrs, call think blower II y09 muS was b DOLL ga
around IT, Never been improved.
one day not long after the War General Sherman
| met I'm Washington Of his young officers, be
longing to ono Of the accounting departments whose
station was many miles further west. Hello,
major said tho General, what are you doing here
Come in TO settle my accounts" the major ex
paincd-a gallant officer and accomplished gentleman
| As honest withal as the round world has standlns
room for" had TO, General those treasury teTS Sy
mllion million and a half-ha, that's rsnt, MAJOR
keep up in ae m9n W bt your To Sn woeG IT hVfp dow
! 10 about seventeen thousand already and eApec
To Mistake sir great mistake oo oHShT a 10 nav 1o
pay it; see If they DON'T
put with every rule goes an exception. They
didn't make the gallant majo pay It, because all th'
witnesses had not died during the long sleep OF th'
accounts in the departmental dustbn, awaiting t!'
ultimate access OF administrative fury called "sctte
mcnt- the proud and glorious outcome wheIeor Is t'
! fling called a statement of Differences "hei
tho missing evidence found the balance went o'c
an the other side, and then II didn't matter An,
lrforo THIS little anaect was told at dinner 70 one |"
Enir Wihrlms Inspector generals, that distinguishes
| irn,.ian soldier was sitting bolt upright Daiahc!n'
| his mustachc with great eNactnese; AIier IA IA b u
Kind host himself handed him ircsi chair al9 w w
next morning tho upholserers man rom , rouu n ~. y
| corner came with whccbarrow ana marker Dashc
and took the pieces Of the other away to be glued
what on earth do You or can You mean Dy you
ri-amaroe about 'Amily Groce' and odd liimm'
stacks p" writes fair one. not unfairly certainty
miss. since you must have 1t now' without ""'.''
"a hear the learned solutions of the loved ones Una
| lpo,y Il alln Amily Groce IS what remained lola
of a rcspcndent block aud gold sign after the hi'a
| - aud final "RIES" had seeded. And when thre'
no,co,.cd This. they cried with one acclaim, "GcoC
| name for a novel" SO now that novel 9nly neeq
"Er to write and another read II. aud me thng
| done But old Chimney stacks IS already wiltteh
| printcd bound and read party, q least ana Dy ON
no al n Is or tllat EfOSEN natult