The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1890-08-06
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Ihe ground u-0OOr-OlWuuSt.
A good buy-law-Collect on delivery.
A drawing -room-The dentists Office.
A two-foot rule-Stand on your own
pins.
An old fame-The light of other
days.
Everybodys business is nobody's busi-
ness except the busybodys.
Do not think you can cultivate mans
acquaintance by giving him au occa-
sional dig.
The paper that says something mean
about you is never lost in the mails
AtchiS0n Globe.
Poor Fishing. g.-First Boy-"Did you
catch anything?" Second Boy-"Not
until got home. San Francisco Wasp.
One thing of Noah must be Sid
Nor will the truth be strained;
Without a doubt he knew enough
To go in when it rained
Hay Press.
Bobby-'How did you manage to get
the bowl of cream?n Tommy Told
ma l saw the cat put her nose in itS'-
Epoch.
Ore of the healthiest professions in the
world is that of signing wills. EXpectant
neirs will readily confirm this statement.
Puck.
When you come to consider the drunk
ard, there isn't much difference between
the ideal and the reel.-Bingbamt0e
Leader.
Do not try to take off your hat to a
woman on a rainy day; if she carries an
umbrella she will take it of for you
Boston Bulletin.
The men who become suddenly rich
remind us of the whales. They no sooner
get to the top than they commence blow
ing.-States snan.
"Now, Johnny, you know what
noun is, do you" "Yeth um." ''What
is Jerusalema" can ejaculation, num-"
-Ha1per'S Bazaar.
The young man just out of school adj
vertises for a position" but after six
months of hustling he is mighty glad to
get ''job. "-Pucb.
The latest distinguished horse on the
turf is named Semicolon. 1t must be
;ather difficult to bring him to full
stop.-BostoR Herald.
"All that's bright must fade,
The brightest still the feetestn
All we wear is frayed
Just when we would be neatest.
Puck.
Hostess Ito young Spriggins, NJ. D.)-
s'Dr. Spriggins, will you have some of
the tongue" DR.. Spriggins (absent-
nindedly)-"Oh-er-let me look at it, :
please. - Chatter. ~
1t is nonsense to say that there is
nothing new under the sun. The man
who owns an ordinary fountain pen finds
some new trouble with it every week.
Somergille journal.
Polite Pardon me, siri
Can sit down in this seat9" Old Sour
boY-"Well, presume you can if you
try hard enough l didn't have any
| trouble. "-BostoA Times.
She (enthusiastically)-"Oh, Georgel
don't you think the greatest Joy in life is
the pursuit of the good, the true and the
beautiful" He-"You bet that's why
I'm here tonight. "-Burlingtoa Free
! Press.
Little Ethel went to church with her
| grandmother, and for the first time put
ten cents in the contribution-plate
Leaning over she whispered very audi
bly,, "That's all right, grandma! paid
for two. ."-Judge
One morning in a garden bed
The onion and the carrot said
Unto parsley group;
"Oh, when shall we three meet agail.
In thunder, lightning, or in rainy
"AlasY exclaimed in tones Of pain
The parsley-"In the soup
Philadelphia Pre-
The baseballist's business is pickin-
up, the football players is rushing, the
eronaut's is in the air, the dry-goods
sellers is rip-tearing, the hackman's is
driving, the washerwoman manages to
scrub along, and the bunco-man finds
plenty to 'do. ."-Puck.
The bucket shop known as "The
Sockdolagcr" failed yesterday for the
seventeenth time this month. The cause
of the suspension is stated to have been
that a customer was, by an oversight OF
a clerk, allowed to win $3.50, and de
manded his money.--Judge