The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1890-08-18
,LLs0isLe WRITER'S
Chirographic Efforts OF Eminent Men THAI
Were Almost Indeciphsrnhlc.

Were Almost Indeciphsrahic.
The most celebrated exponent of bad
penmanship in America was Rufus
Choate. whose signature has been apt
ly compared to "a gridiron struck by
lightning" and whose handwriting
was. in many cases. absolutely unde-
cipherable, even by the writer him.
self. On one occasion Mr.. Choate was
having his house repaired. and made
arrangements to have carved man-
tlepiece put up. promising TO send
the model. Failing to obtain one to
suit him. he wrote to his work.
man to that effect The carpenter. aft
er studying the missive-which
looked as II spider wading in ink
had crawled across the paper-at
length concluded that it must be the
desired plan. and forthwith began
fashioning probably the most original
mantel-piece that ever ornamented a
room. This story is almost equal TO
that told of the great Napoleon, who
was such wretched writer that 1t is
said his letters from Germany to Jose
phine were at first taken for rough
maps of the seat of war.
1t is related OF the late Dean Stanley
that short time before his death. he
was invited by the editor of one of the
New York magazines to contribute an
article to its pages on some timely
topic. The paper was promptly writ
ten and duly received, but, to the con-
on ~ <ho
be found who was able to decipher the
handwriting. Finally, in despair, the
editor was obliged to return the manu-
script to England. to be rewritten for
publication. In fact, the good dean.
like Choate, did not write. but merely
made few arbitrary strokes with
| pen on paper.
No mention OF remarkable penmen
would be complete which did not in
| clude the name of Horace Greeley,
whose chirography was once tersely
described by new compojtor In the
Tribune Office In the savage remark,
literally interspersed with profanity:
"If Belshazzar had seen this hand
writing on the wall he would have
been more terrified than he was" OF
the numerous anecdotes related of the
modern Franklin's" autographed
eccentricities, the following Is fair
example:
Mr.. Greeley, becoming Disguised
with the blunders of one OF his type
settlers, sent note up to the foreman
requesting him to discharge the man
at once, as he was too inefficient a
workman to be any longer employed
on the Tribune. The foreman obeyed
instructions, but before leaving the
TYPO" managed to get possession Of
Mr.. Greeley's note. and Immediately
went to rival Office and applied for
work, showing the note as recon-.
mendation. The foreman to whom he APP
piled scanned the note, and said: ''Oh. I
see-'good and efficient compositor'-
emr 1oyed a long time on the Tribune
Horace Greeley" and Immediately
set him to work on the strength of
Greeley's certification of his incapaci-
ty, after having been ''out OF job
for the space of about fifteen minutes.
A somewhat similar story TO this Is
told of Mr.. Brooks, a manager of the
New York Central railway, who once
wrote to a man living on the line OF
the road, threatening to prosecute him
if he did not move q barn that
he had built on the company's land.
The recipient was unable to read the
letter, but succeeded in making out
the signature. and, concluding that he
had been favored with free pass over
the road, used 1t as such for nearly
two years, no conductor being able to
dispute his privilege by deciphering
the supposed pass"
The handwriting of Horace Greeley
was plain compared with that OF Mr.
Bloss, of the Cincinnati Enquirer, who
was, beyond doubt, the worst penmar
: who ever occupied an editorial chair.
This remarkable journalist was pecul
lar in all his methods, but in none
more so than in his manner of writing
! His pen was held at the extreme
end of the holder, and the strang,
: characters which he made were some
J., times almost as unintelligible to him
: self as to the world at large. Hi
writing was simply series of hero
e glyphics, but he made his character
/ always alike and in course of time by
o close study one could learn to deciphel
them. When il was known that Mr.
= Bloss was dead the printers in th'
n Enquirer news-room lost no time ii
e rummaging the waste-paper bags TO
y specimens OF his chirography, until il
less than an hour not scrap OF hi
manuscript was to be found in the OF
fice.-St- Louis Globe-Democrat.
80
NJ. nSo~~uvsc> Vncr~t-~ rr-.,~