The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-07-16
BRIGHT BITS.

LITTLE BoY-Pa, what is a trunk railroad'
Father-Well, my son, Iexpect the railroad
that goes to Saratoga is a trunk line.-Te1GS
SUtings.
IT is A GOOD THING for a man to have friends
II it were not for your friends you would never
be aware of the many times you have made
fool of yourself Terre Haute Express.
BUT, Mrs. Brown, there are flies baked in
this cake!'
30, if you please. ma am, the most of what
you see are raisins - Fiie9ende Batter.
Mrs HoUTEs-You belong TO a very old
family, Mr. Memo, believe?
Mr.. Memo Nom; not me. | guess you're
thinkin' of my darter 'Lza.-HGrper's Bdzdr.
The banditti, Henrietta, were highwaymen
In this country band ditties are played by high
waymen, Germans chiefly who may be mu-
scians at heart buG never so anywhere else.
NeW York Commercial.
AN EASY OUEsrIox-Falstaff asks: What's
honor?' as though it were hard to tell; but let
one woman sit behind another IL church and
she'll tell what's on her in less than two min
utes.-HdrUdrd LGmDoOr.
Boss--Ive lost my time book, Pat, and I'll
have 10 depend upon your honesty as to how
many days you've put in this month.
Pat-Well, begor, let me see think it do be
thirty-two, sir.-Gray's Monthly.
ITWoULD SEEN So.-"Do you know the bishop
of So1or?''
mo. Is he an Englishman?"
II don't know. I should say not. The Bishop
of Sodor should be a Celt, sir. Puck.
THE NEXT TH1NG.-Mr. Wanamaker-A me-
teor fell on a farm in Kansas and the farmer
sold it for enough to pay off the mortgage.
Mr. Harrison-You dont say. Well have to
put heavy duty on meteors.-Ptck.
THOUGHT you we're tending bar, Jack?"
''Was-been fred
What for?'
Couldn't raise 10 cents worth of foam on
one cents worth of beer.-AshIdnd Press.
TEMPERANCE REFoRMER Ito street urchin)-
Does your father drink beer, sonny?
Urchin-Yep
In moderation?"
Nav. In de GROWER. "-ChicGoo Inter-O Ocean,
DID you hear of the mad zebras at Bar
num's?'
NO. What made them mad:"
They overheard some one say they looked
like dudes about to play lawn tennis ''-Har-
per's Bazaar
ATRIFLER.-Rosebelt about to pop)-Do you
ever ponder on futurity Mrs. Gorham?
The Widow Gorham-I haven't thought much
about it yet. The Suburban took every cent l
could rake and scrape, and my horse was dis
tanced.-J'tdge.
sician?"
80 he is, and good one.'
We'll, for musician he keeps shockngly
bad time. He didn't come in this morning until
near o'clock. Philadelphia Times.
RoBINsoN-They say that hiccoughing caused
by drinking can be stopped by putting a lump
of ice in each ear.
Went1nan-But, then, how do you stop the
earaches?
Robinson-Take another drink.-American
Grocer.
CUSTOMER Have you anything that will cure
a corn?
Druggist-Yes, sir here's preparation that
put up myself It's sure and quick cure.
Why, I've got a corn that I've been putting it
on for nearly two years, and wouldn't think of
using any other remedy West Shore
LADY Ito small boy, who is crying)-What is
the matter, my little man?
Boy--We were playing ball, and broke that
pane of glass over there.
Lady-Well, l guess the lady will not care
much about It,
Boy-'Taint that: the ball went through and
she won't give it back.-BoSton Herald.
FROM BAD TO WoRsE.-"And so your brother
has given up rum-seng Michael. l am glad
of it. You know never could regard it as a
strictly honest business"
We'll, sor, don't think he has bettered his
condition much.
What do you mean"
He's a dealer in antique furniture now
Puck.
a LADY who teaches a select school for girls,
in looking over the copy book of little Fanny
aged II, discovers an envelope addressed to that
young lady.
II hope Fanny. said the teacher, holding up
the envelope, that this does not contain a love
letter.
why, what an idea replied Fanny; Il have
outgrown all that foolishness years and years
ago. "-IerdS SiftingS.