Morning journal and courier., 1890-08-20
H IR AM.
A Story Told by Dr. Holmes.


 From lover the Teacups'' in the Atlantic.l
 One of my neighbors, thorough Amer ican, is much concerned about the growth of what he calls the ''hard-handed aristoc racy." He tells the following story:
 T was putting up fence about my yard, and employed a man of whom I knew something he wasindustrious, temperate, and that he had wife and children to support-a worthy man, a na- tive New Englander. I engaged him, l say, to dig some post holes. Ny employe bought new spade and scoop on purpose, and came to my place at the appointed time and began digging. While he was at work two men came over from drinking saloon, to which my residence is nearer than I could desire. One of them I had known as Mike Pagan, the other as Hans Schleimer. They looked at Hiram, my New Hampshire man, in a contemptuous and threatening way for minute or so, when Pagan addressed him:
 "'And how much does the man pay yez by the hourr
  hour,' said Hiram.
 't Now mosh does he bay you by der veeksi said Hans.
 {" T don't know as that's any of your business, answered Hiram.
 "'Faith, we'll make it our business said Mike Pagan. We're Knoights of Labor, we'd have yez to know, and ye can't make yer bargains jist as ye likes. We names to know how mony hours ye l,nxx- n, Knights of Labor,' said I. Why, that is kind of title of nobility, isn't it. thought the laws of our country didn't allow titles of that kind. But if you have right to be called knights, suppose I ought to address you as such. Sir Mi chael, congratulate you on the dignity you have attained. I hope Lady Pagan is getting on well with my shirts. Sir Hans, pay my respects to your title. I trust that Lady Schleimer has got through that little difficulty between her ladyship and yourself in which the police court thought it necessary to intervene
 ssThe two men looked at me. I weigh about one hundred and eighty pounds and am we'll put together. Hiram was noted in his village as 'rahstler.' But my face is rather pallid and peaked, and Hiram had something of the greenhorn look. The two men, who had been drinking, nhrulN kueW WuAI SEuuiiu Io AntN rather liked the sound of Sir Michael and | Sir Hans. They did not know very well what to make of their wives as ladies. They looked doubtful whether to take 1 what had been said as a casus beli or not, but they wanted pretext of some kind or other. Presently one of them saw n label on the scoop, or long-handled, spOOn-ike shovel, with which Hiram had been work ing.
 "'Arrah, be jabersr exclaimed Mike Pagan. but hasn't he been a-tradin' wid Brown, the hardware fellah, that We boy cottedl Grab it, Hans, and we'll carry it off and show it to the brotherhood | ''The men made a move toward the i'm plement.
 "'You let that are scoop-shovel alone, said Hiram.
 .I stepped to his side The Knights were cumulative, as their noble predeces- sors with the same title always were, and it was necessary to come to Soie de fait. My straight blow from the shoulder did for Sir Michael. Hiram treated Sir Hans to what is technically known as a cross buttock.
 'Naow, Dutchman,' said Hiram, .'ii you don't want to be planted in that ar, post-hole, y'd better take y'rself O thi. piece of private property. Dangerous passin'," as the sign-posts say, abaou these times
 s.Sir Michael went down half stunned by my expressive gesture; Sir Hans dit not know whether his hip was out of join or he had got bad sprain; but they wer ] both out of condition for further hostili
 ties. Perhaps it was hardly fair to talk
 advantage of their misfortunes to infiict
 discourse upon them, but they had brough it on themselves, and We each of us gav them piece of our mind.
 "I tell you what it is,' said Hiram I'm free and independent American cit izen, and l ant g-gon' to hev no ma , tyrannize over me, if he does call himsel , by one O them noblemen's titles. Eff , can't work jes' as choose, fur folks ths 7 wants me to work fur lem and that war
 to work fur, might jes' as well go to |, bery and done with it. My gran'fther in Bunker Hill battle. I guess if ou :. folks in them days didn't care no gres abaout Lord Percy and Sir William Haow r we ant gon' to be scart by Sir Micha ! ! Pagan and Sir Hans Whats -his-name, nc e ee no other fellahs that undertakes to be n' ' blemen, and tells us common folks win II we shall dew an what we sha'n't. N U sirr
 sI took the opportunity to explain
 Sir Michael and Sir Hans what it was ol
 fathers fought for, and what is the meal ing of liberty. If these noblemen did n like the country they could go elsewher
 If they didn't like the laws they had u 'o ballot-box, and could choose new legisl e. tors But as long as the laws existed tn it must obey them. I could not admit ths because they called themselves by the til 'i the old world nobility thought so much ( or they had right to interfere in the agrs th ments entered into with my peighbor. m told Sir Michael that if he would go hor and help Lady Pagan to saw and split t y wood for her fire, he would be better el s- p.oyed than in meddling with my dom' he tic arrangements. I advised Sir Hans ra ask Lady Schleimer for her bottle of SD
 its to use as an embrocation for his lal 's- hip. And so my two visitors with ty aristocratic titles staggered off, and left d, plain, untitled citizens, Hiram and myse ng to set our posts. and consider the questi re- whether we lived in free country or m- der the authority of a self constituted les der of quasi nobility"