The Washington critic., 1890-02-21
THE PROFESSORS PIANO.

Professor Ard, "a the whole scientific
world knows, has for many years occupied
the Chair of Applied Mechanics In the re-
uOwntd and ancient University of Salt
burgh. N. b., aud for some time past has
been giving particular attention to further
development Of the phonograph. On his
return from q brief holiday In Norway, last
summer he went one evening TO visit his
geological colleague, Professor Draysou.
A niece of Professor Drayson's, Miss
Margaret Hail. was staying with her uncle,
and DR.. Ard us he glanced at this young
lady, who was about 10, and extremely
pretty, found It in his heart to regret that
Providence had given him only nephows.
From geology, the two professors pres
emily diyerged to gossip. "That young
Skipwith has made u pretty use OF his
talents" remarked Professor Draysou,
''Nog Really In what wayP have
been so out Of the way of news in Nor
way
dUh, don't you knowgn cried uncle aud
niece In one breath; and Miss Hall fetched
newspaper ten days old, In which Pro-
fessor Aird read of a great diamond rob
berry executed by an impecunious young
gentleman and his wife. The wife had been
found and identified as Mrs. Skipwith, but
the husband and the diamonds had dtslp-
peared.
"Ihere was no clear evidence against her,
you see, SO they let her go,n said Professor
Drayson. "But, of course, the police will
have an eye upon her. and sooner or lates
she will 20 TO him, and he will be taken.
She was Miss Carroll, and has friends in
Salthurgh. 1 believe he met her here. 1t
Is n terrible thing for them.n
"Poor girln' said Professor Arid.
"She has herself to thank,n returned the
other professor, with a glance at his niece.
''She married him against tho advice of all
her friends Professor Aird, feeling that
something uncomfortable underlay this Oh
servation, begun to seek change of sub
ject, aud said, with an amiable smile, "I
sec that another pupil of yours, that clover
young fellow Ashley, has Just cot an ap-
pointment in America.n
'Don't speak to me Of Ashley cried his
colleague, furiOusly. 81 won't hear his
name"
There was moments silence. Miss Hall
lad neither moved nor looked up. Pro-
fessor Arid, as peace-loviDg man, said q
few Indifferent words to show that he was
not offended, and then took HIS leave. Miss
| Hall smiled upon him with marked friend
| illness, and shook his hand with something
| like feTYor. IL was clear to him that she
| was trying to make amends for the rough
ness of her uncle.
$50 Skipwith has stolen diamonds, and
| Ashley is TO teach geology to the young
! Yankees said the Professor to himself as
| he walked homeward. Aud then he Won
| lered whether Professor Drayson could
| possibly have desired that American ap-
| pointment for himself.
| Anniiod NJochonics ,yere large but thev
~ - aI'rovs fiiiod 10 ovnr1owing hv stronCo
;nstrnments vessels and drawings, IFS
! landady, as he entered, was seeking an
unoccupied table-corner whereon to set a
tray with his frugal supper. He sat down,
| in her o,yn news remarLed! II have let
! tLo second f,oor rooms air IN n oenfleman
W., @ ,bo nar,a NJ Jobnson >
/ 'The nrofeseor storted and looked nm and
,,,i,nIred vorIeIv tsTndecI, Then a
sudden tbouolf nossed across him and he
soiJ eagnrly ~ wonder If Won could mix
go, ~, stol,.s for tbot old I,iono9 rnolIv
! boyan;t sn,re FOR II here ),
/ Mrs rster was ouite WILLING. and off red
to bovn tbe instrument carried mn Mt once
al ,,ti oa,,, n M, n, ,,ianas In il,, ,n,r,,,
inc and ect II mn mv.elfr If Won have no og-
ioStio,, = soid tbo nsofossor
J'J,,oa honn,d;moIy mol '- ndvt norni,g professor
ARA Gisn,aInb cd his niann and corrying
the Ti.ces nm stairs rchliilt IL I'm the siiiing,
rnoT destined for Mr. Johnson II was
'a bnt q mere sbe,i this niono. II nossessed
neithor hammers nor wires and benrath
Tho locked Layboard the nrnfessor erected
a ,1ioce of mecbonism niife foreicn tn the
Normal strnoture of n niano. This which
! a,,,, aN,,,ort would bova rnoomnizod ne forn,
ing nart of magnifed n6onomranb WINS
S pos al mainly Gf Iordn Sislt of sl,in -,
norchment. stretched like n tambourine. n
iong. rrooyed. metal cylinder, and several
long and narrow strips of tinfoil. Havinn
orrsr~e1 ali those comnoneuis wifi o,respl
nreciSlon the nrofessor fitted in the inclos
InT naneI and noinr 10 the farther end ri
tbe room recited with slow and distinct
ntteronce solilonuv from uUamlet y
This stronge incanfation over he rat,,rnei,
n the niano nnfastened the lower nonel
once more and shifted some inner screw
Slowly and distinctly there issued from Tho
interior of the pinnothe echoed words. .!T(
he or not to he's that is the ouestion'; TIL,
voice was clear and little monotonous
and it had that slight nasal twang peculiar
TO all monographs, which marks, perhaps
their American origin.
The professor listened with face of rap
ture TO this Punch-like mimicry, and ther
shutting in his machinery, went back happ,
to his room. Surely this great work, whici
had occupied him for the last twelvemonth
was going to be successful. The phono
graph, that mysterious overhcarer and re
porter Of other mems speech, was about Il
receive new powers. The discreet phono
graphs of other inventors do but retain ant
repeat what is addressed directly to them
selves; the photograph of Professor Arid
with its larger disk and more sensitiy,
mechanism, was intended to reproduct
every word uttered in the same room will
it. Such n machine, if it did but fulfil
his homes, would redeliyer the who'll
dialogue of a play or all the debates of
parliamentary session. An Arid phono
graph would henceforth be stationed II
every court OF law and tell its tale by mean
OF telephone in every newspaper office
But before introducing his cherished lnstru
ment TO the world the professor was re
solved to test 1t fairly, and, dreading self
deception, bad snatched at the chance o
stationing 1t in strangers room, where
might imbibe and reproduce conversation