Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1890-08-12
HIS FIRST CASE.
A Tale Of the Bluegrass Country, . Bill
and Other Things.

Tale Of the Bluegrass Country, Bill
and Other Things.
There lives in one Of the finest counties
Of Kentucky En aristocratic old gentle
man, who, though brave at time of
physical trouble, has never succeeded in
summoning sufficient courage to shove
him into the recklessness of paying debt.
Once the colonel was in debt to grocer
that lived in neighboring village. He
must have been new conner, for none of
the "old-timers'' would trust the old
gentleman. One morning, just after the
colonel had sat down on the gallery to
smoke, the grocer came to the gate and
shouted .Halloat'
"Get down and come right in, subj"
the colonel called, getting up and cor
daily advancing to meet the visitor.
Il am delighted to see you this bright
morning" said the host when he had
shown the grocer into the house.
"You don't know me, reckon" the
grocer responded, giving the old man a
peculiar look out of his keen eyes of
trade.
'Oh, most assuredly. You are the
grocer"
"You bet. Did you get that bill-or,
rather. them twenty bills-I sent your"
81 presume so, but l cannot say posi-
lively who sent them. get 80 many
favors Of the kind that I hardly know
whence they come"
I'm man of business an I want my
money without any palarverin'. Do you
understand"
Perfectly, sub, and l cannot blame
you. Business cannot be operated with
out money"
But are you goin' to pay me?"
Il can't pay you now.'
when can your
"Let's see; this is the 10th of the
month, amt it?'
~That's what it is
"Ah, hal and tomorrow will be the
18th"
THAT'S the size of it."
"Well, you come round between the
18th and the first of next month"
"Will you pay me them
"No, l don't think shall"
Then what's the use of my comin'g"
"None that / can see"
"Not much. What l want is my
money, and I'm goin to have it or know
the reason why"
Il don't mind giving you the reason.
The reason appears to be that you'll not
get the money. Now look here: l have
always made it point to look with IA
vor on the methods Of life established
by other men. You have your rules, and
have mine, but because our rules differ
it is no reason for us to fall out. One
of your rules is to collect every cent that
is due you. All right. One of my rules
is not to pay cent. All right"
mo. it's not all right; you bet your
life it amt. You've simply got to pony
up"
by the way, let me give you a piece
of advice with regard to that bill.
Shall T."
"Yes,"
"Well. then, sue me-"
"Ill do it; You bet your life on that"
The grocer brought suit. The colonel
promptly appeared The case went to
trial and the grocer got judgment for 81.
Il want my money now" said the
grocer.
And want mine." the colonel re-
piled.
Yours! l don't owe you anything"
''Oh, yes. You see" the old man add
ed. 1.-THE courts many years ago granted
me license as lawyer, and I'll be hanged
if you haven't given me my first case.
Here is the license"
why. haven't given you a case"
ooh, yes. / advised you to sue me
and you did so. My fee is So"
"Mr. Billings" said the judge land he
also owed the grocer, "you will have to
pay the amount"
He did so, closed his store, shot the
judges cow and ran Arkansaw
Traveller.