davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1890-09-07
Selected Laughs.

Mrs. Jones-"What is the matter with
my husband, doctor" DR.. schmcrz-
"Weli. be has symptoms Of mania potu.
i'm addition 10 acute cophalea and nasal
| hyporumia." Mrs. JOncs-"Oh dear What
! DO you suppose caused it, DR.. Schmerz-
II think il is due to excessive Cereyisiac
and caudagallic absorption" Mrs. Jones
Poor. dear fellow. And mother said there
was nothing the matter with him. except
that he had been drinking too much. !
shall never forgive her"
\ rather precociOus infant had its chris
| teniug unfortunately deferred until ii was
able to talk. and AT the font was lifted in it,
| fathers arms for the ceremony. After the
minister had dipped his fingers in the water
and made the sign of the cross on her fore
head. the unawcd child leaned down and
catching up the long sleeve Of his white
GOWN wiped the water away. calmly re-
marking: "Edby's face tlcan. DOn't want
was,in': dot II wassed fore Us tummed
out"
Overheard AZ South-end. First Cock
ney: Ave some hOysters along o me,
AIRY second COckncy: "NOt me. Bal.
IIovsters amt 'Olesome when theer amt no
liar in the month" First c.: "C'arn. It's
all right. There is a lIar.'-Second c.:
'Theer amt. Bet you 'alf pint You cant
spell IT," - FIRST G.: Done. H-O-R,
T---T2Orgust, There yare."-Second
&. quite sati,liCdJ; Didn't think you could
do it. Yaai, l'll ave Dozen"
A little seven-year-old was taken by his
mother 10 see an old uncle who was very
deaf and who had an ear-trumpet. After
watching his uncle use his trumpet Tommy
said finally: Mamma. why does uncle try
~ eet music out Of that horn with his ear,
when be has tried hundreds of times and
knows he can't do it,
Now to the summer girl, 50 sweet and kind.
In woodland glen the youth his love con-
fesSc-.
Nor sees the day when she will change her
mind
As soon "a she has changed her summer
dresses.
"Whv is IL that the good are not always
happVf" was the question which a sunday
school teacher in a city church put 10 her
class Of boys last sunday. There was a
dead silence for a moment and then lit
tie fellow piped out, because they're
thinkin' Of the fun they amt hayin''
There are two things in this world you
will never lind. \ small boy who viii not
Doe a greater man than his father, or an old
man who was not "a better boy than his son.
Mother" said little girl. who was try
ING 20 master pair Of tight BOOTS, TITS no
use: can't wear them. My toes can't get
"a chance 10 Breathe
An Irshman remarks that the reason the
evenings are longer now. Is because it does
not stay light so long after dark rs it did
awhile back.
"What, rising already" asked the yeast
Of the dough- les, the baker will knead
me s0On," answered the dough.
lis strange that lawyers should ever
travel on foot when it is so easy for them to
make a conveyance.
The only man on record who never cracked
the mOther-in-law Joke was Adam.
Women were made before mirrors, and
t,.,.f I.,t, Iaf,ra fham aVnr since
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1890-09-07
, r,.,,erman Who Ruled "a City.

one Of the a -angest Of the true historical
romance il the s'ory % Masaniello, fish
crman OF Naples, a. the seventeenth cen
fury.
The spanish yicoroys who then ruled the
city had imposed taxes upon even the ne
cessaries fife There was tax upon fruit.
fish, ilour. poultry, wine, milk. cheese, and
salt. aud still no one complained aloud. Al
last a basket OF Masaniello's iish. upon
which the tax had not been paid, was
seized, ard. on the same day, his wife was
stopped, as she was carry ing home little
-four in her apron, and having no money 10
pay the duty upon 1t, was locked up III
prison.
Then the people gave way TO frantic JOY,
and !, wa, arranged that the yiceroy should
meet their leader the next day, In the
'Iarmine Church, for the ratification OF the
zreaty. Before the day came, however. a
captain Of bandits, VIM had joined the
cause OF the people In the vain hope Of
piusder, proyel traitor, AID arranged with
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1890-09-07
Suicide Mania Ia parl..

OF late the mania in Paris for suicide by
asphyXiation has been Increasing. The
latest instance Of this propensity is given
by married couple named Robert, both
over sixty years of age, who occupied
rooms in the Boulevard II. German. The
man was an oyster merchant AT The lialles,
ana formerly had "A rearing-grOund for the
biyalyes at ArcachOn. Recently he lost his
money in some speculative enterprise, and
the two thon resolved to end their days,
leaving behind them note. on which was
written, In consequence Of great disap-
pointments, We have agreed voluntarily 10
die" When their servant called them in
the morning. it was found that they had car
ried out their intention, the brazier with the
latal charcoal standing BY thelr bedslde.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1890-09-07
l. LeprosY Infectious .

The Government Of India In dispatch
states that the medical authorities are una
BILE to agree whether leprosy is contagious
or NOT, and ~ the local governments also
differ widely on the subject. leg station will
be POSTPONED until full details shall have been
collected by the technical secretary appoint
ed for one year by the Natl0nll ieprOsy
Fund. The Indian Government viii subse-
quentlybe prepared TO depute two members
to cooperate with the Commission, which
will probably leave England next October.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1890-09-07

4 romantic escape has taken place nom
the prison Of sap Giorgio, near Lucca. The
prisoner was certain Sampani Felice, who
was condemned three years ago tn fifteen
years hard labor for attempted assassina-
ton. In some way he had managed to get
hold of Tile, with which, a little after mid
night. he forced the lock OF the door Of his
cell. lie then forced the lock on the outer
cell, and made his wayinto a further room,
where. fortunately for him, he found lad
der. Mounting il, he managed 10 open a
door in the ceiling which led {, a garrett, and
thence made his way on 10 the roof. But
he was not safe vet. BY means OF the sheet
OF his bed, which he had torn into ribbons.
he made cord, and with II he let him.
self down ON to the much lower ruof
of private house attached % the
prison. BY means Of another garnet door
c Introduced himself into the apartments
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1890-09-07
O.car Wilde's Cynici-m.

The only difference between caprice
and a lifelong passion is that the caprice
lasts not so long.
Nowadays people know the price Of every
thing, and the value of nothing.
Men marry because they are tired. women
because they are curious. Both are disap-
pointed.
People who only love once in their lives
are really shallow people. What they call
their loyalty and their fidelity | call either
the le,hargy of custom or the lack OF i'm.
agination.
faiihlessness Is tO the emotional life what
consistency Is 10 the intellectual lIie-simp.y
confession OF failure.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1890-09-07

BY the death of VI. Pruvot-a landed pro-
prietor. who lived in the Boulevard de
Courcelles and lett behind him fortune Of
t>o,OOO-the city Of Paris has received Il
legacy OF nearly 10000. The testator left
instructions that the chief portion Of THIS
amount is 10 be used for the construction
and maintenance Of a "Night Shelter for
the Homeless and Destitute Poor in the
seventeenth ACCOMPLISHMENT" which in-
cludes the districts of the Ternes, the
Plaine- MOnceau, the Batignolies, and the
Eppineties. lie mas also LEFT a considerable
sum for Benevolent purposes among the
Young 10 the town OF Solesmes, where be
Lad residence.-London Telegraph.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1890-09-07
BITS FROM THE MAGAZINES.
POWDERlY ON A DANGER TO THE
REPUBLIC.
Child Of the suu-Noting In the House-
Preserving the seai-Iiow Hayns Met
- heath

Child OF the suu-Voting In the Home
Preserving the seai-How Hayna Me,
the End Of His Life-Samuel SIa,er's
Death.
There must be something wrong in our
legislative system, or else such "A measure
a. the National Election bill would not
have passed the lower house Of Congress
before an opportunity had been accorded to
the peoplo TO express an opinion upon it.
II is noticeable fact that legislation which
deals with the holding of Office and the
methods of securing Office passes very
quickly, while that which affects the
whole people has TO pass the ordeal of sew
eral sessions of the Legislature or Of Con-
gress before it goes 10 the executive for
signature. The reason may be that the legis-
lator knows more about his own wants
than he does about the wants or wishes
of his constituents, and. being in Office. he
thinks it no harm tO stay there, even
though the liberties Of the people be- placed
in jeopardy through this methods. Party
ORGANS sounded the praises Of and de-
nOunced the hill while it was before Con-
gres=. but they threw very little light on it,
provisions. Those who objected 10 il were
supposed 10 be- sienced when they were
called "DemOcrats." and those who favored
IL were expected 10 die Of shame because
they favored a "l,epublican measure" The
writer il independent I'm politics and does
not object 10 the bill because it iayOrs the
Republicans or initiates against the Demo
Gratis: he is Of the opinion, in which he may
be- wrong, that such a measure is fraught
with danger 10 our republican form OF gov
eminent.
Many opponents Of the bill call il see
tiOnal, but IL j. neither sectional nor ma
tiOnal: il is 50 elastic that il may stretch
all over the country or span a single Con-
gressi0nal district. In making excuses
for the bills appearance in Congress its adj
yOcates urged that il would be called into
operation in but from twenty 10 thirty dis.
tricts i'm the South. and that there would be
no occasion for il elsewhere In every
Congressional district in the United States
there will be found the required fifty or one
hundred persons 10 sign petition 10 the
chief supervisor. and il they do not think Of
il. the Congressional aspirant who may
think his chances will he improved by the
aid Of these patriots will not forget it. The
compensation which deputy supervisors
Will receive will stimulate the patriotism
of sufficient number 10 secure the sigma
lures Of fifty or one hundred persons. Every
ward politician who may be ont of 10 job. |
and who has "A promise from Congress
siOnal canddate-and they viii all make |
promses-will circulate the pctition.-sep- |
TENDER North American Review.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1890-09-07
The rmperer.. New Yacht,

Emperor Williams new yacht, which IL
to he built ut Eibing, u 10 be constructed ot
steel aud lighted throughout by electricity.
Her length will be M feet, she will draw
10 feet Of water, and her guaranteed SPEED
is 10 b. twenty-one knots per hour. There
are IN be deck saloon, dining'reons. and =
sindy for the Emperor ait n tho sleeriNx
bridge, all built OF teak. Below there Will
tie two saloons, an audience rsosA, and tw1
large sleeping cabins, ~ well ~ ample sc-
commedations for tho sultes AID ssfvants,
Il ndon Truth.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1890-09-07
naliooning to the North Pole.

% is announced in Paris that Nm.
GEORGES Besancon. director Of the superior
school Of Aerial Navigation, and the
aephew Of the president Of the Academy Of
sciences propose to make scientific ex-
pedti0n 10 the North Pole. With that Oh
lect they intend to construct balloon Of
lined silk 30 metres in diameter, and hay
ng a cubic capacity Of lll2l metres. The
balloon will De- covered with "A special var
dish which will insure its absolute imper-
viousness. It will DE filled with pure by
,lrOgen. and It's car will be constructed On a
novel plan. especially suitable Tor ms
Polar eXpcditiOn. IL is calculated that the
aerial Journey will last four or live days, 10
be commenced at spitZbergen. IL IS
hoped that IL will end happily on the North
American continent. or in tie northern por-
lion Of Asia, a journey Of some 5000 kilo-
lu4frne
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1890-09-07
why;
Wilmington Journal

Senator Ednuinds says that Vermont Is
not In favor OF reciprocity because the con-
sumner gets no benefit. The anxiety Of a
Republican statesman for the consumer is
touching, but at this late date II Is some
what superlinous. Why was IL manifested
q little earliary
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1890-09-07
strange Marriage comp,ieat,ons.

At Ilkeston, Henry Winter, OF West Hal
lam. was summoned for assaulting his wife,
Harriet Winter, and she asked for a scpara-
tion order. Complainant said she was defend
ants second wife, and was severely beaten
by him and his daughter. She was bruised all
over. In cross-cxamlnati0n she said she
was formerly the wife Of a man named
Robert Mills, who is still alive. She mar
ried him at Sedgeley, near Dudley. thirteen
years ago. The marriage was not legal,
because Mills had formerly married her sis
ter. Mr. Hopkins Where did be marry
your sister, Mrs. Winter-At sedgeley.
Mr.. llopkins-And your sister, when
she married. was the vife Of another
many Laughter. Mrs. Wineries. His
name was Nenables, but he was dead when
my sister was married 81 Mills. The
Mayor you going Ia give MS the family
history Mr.. Hopkins SAID he was com-
PEELED TO get this evidence because a sepa-
ration order was asked for. The defendant
discovered that be was not this woman's
legal husband. witness said Mrs. Win
ter was badly assaulted. The defense was
that the woman got any bruises she had In
a drunken freak. Lucy Winter said the COM
plainant assaulted her and she threw the
eat at her. Laughter The Bench imposed
a fine Of Thirty shilings for the assault, but
declined TO make an order for separation.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1890-09-07
81 doan' understan' you. sab" the

81 doan' understan' you, sab" the
preacher exclaimed.
Dat doan' make no diilunce. II amt
fur de prisoner ter uuderstan de Jedge' bit
fur de ledge ter understan' de- prisoner. ~
in mis- case de cou't Is ne Jedee, prosecutin'
'torney. an de jury. IT is my DUTY to say dat
YOU is hereby sentenced ter six munts IN
Jail. an dat if you try ter take erpeai III
make de sentence one yeor. De law say
dat wen er man doan understan' his duty
YOU got ter pei hm. Take charge o. dexe
we're prisoners. Mr.. Constable. Opie i.
Reed in New York World.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1890-09-07
PAGES 5 TO s.

below. with the intention, of course, Of
making his way ont into The street by the
hall door, but. cropping about in the dark,
he entered by mistake the bedroom Of The
some one in her room, began 10 scn.aHl ont
for her father, an old gentleman Of seventy
years. who slept In the nom adjoining.
The fugitive, however, made them under
stand that he would not hurt them, and all
he asked was 10 be shown the door 81 the
house. The old gentleman, as may be iID-
agined. only too glad 10 get 80 easily rid OF
the nocturnal visitor, Immediately COM
piled. The authorities are now taking into
serious consideration the too frequent es-
capes that have occurred from some OF the
provincial prisons.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1890-09-07
Sick Heasias

Can be and is daily cured by DR.. Dayid's
Liver Pulls.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1890-09-07

His mOuldering dust can never hear
TIE tenderest footsteps drawing near;
But fir beyond our flute view
His spirit walks the bOundless blue.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1890-07-02
MANCHESTER MATTERS.
what is Going on of Interest on the Other
Side of the Water.

City Sergeant Fitzgerald is quite indis-
posed.
Miss Minnie Lee Drewry is visiting in
Chesterfield county.
Judge John II. Ingram has left for Old
Point TO attend The State Bar Association.
Mr. Tom l.. owen is at Old Point.
Nothing Of interest occupied the attention
Of the Mayors Court yesterday.
johnson AZ Co. have commenced the build
ing of their shed for the new iron plant on
Maury street, at the Richmond and Peters
burg Railroad.
The Manchester Railway and Improve
ment Company have laid their track up
Decatur street to Twelfth, and out that
street to Hull. They have suspended Ope-
rations for awhile pending the considera-
ton Of the petition now before the City
Council, asking the privilege OF allowing
the company to change their route from
McDOnough street TO Porter street.
Postmaster JOrdan's salary has been in
creased from 81 200 to 81, 100. The business
of the office has materially increased during
the past year.
Fifth-street Methodist Church has grant
ed to its pastor, Rev. W. \. LanghOn, leave
of absence for "A month or six weeks.
\ horse attached 10 DR.. CARROTS buggy
became frightened yesterday and dashed
down Hull street, scared pedestrians and
frightened drivers. The buggy at last was
completely demolished.
The total number OF arrests for the Man.
chester police during the month Of June,
was seventy-nine.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1890-07-02
CHOICE CORRESPONDENCE.
Letters from Light Horse Harry, and
Governor Henry Lee.

Governor Henry Lee.
in preparing the calendar of Virginia
State Papers, the following interesting let
tiers from Richard Henry Lee, United States
senator, and Henry Lee (Light Horse
Harry, Governor Of Virginia, have been
unearthed. The first is from the United
States senator, rendering his resignation as
such. The second is from the Governor
Light Horse Harry, cousin Of Richard
Henry Lee. The first letter reads:
alt is not in my power TO convey 10 you
an adequate idea of the regret | feel at
being compelled by the feeble state of my
health 10 retire from the service OF my
country. The strong sense | entertain of
public duty joined with deep feeling Of
gratitude for the reiterated goodness Of the
General Assembly TO me, would render the
tolls OF public BUSINESS pleasure, although
am growing gray in the service of my
country, were | not prevented by iniirmi-
ties that can only be relieved by IA quiet re-
tirement. Thus urged, sir, entreat you to
lay me with all possible duty and thankful
ness before the representatives of my cOun-
try, and present them my resignation Ofmy
Senator's place in the Senate of the United
States. which beg their favorable accept
ance of. That the unqualified liberty of orr
country may be perpetual, and It's pros
perity great as its freedom will be the con-
slant pr yer Of, sir, your most obedient and
most humble servant, Richard Henry Lee"
In communicating this resignation 10 the
General Assembly ON the 18th day Of Octo-
Der, 1872, Governor Henry Lee wrote: "ihe
enclosed letter announces the Hon. Rich
ard icnry Lees resignation of the high
trust conferred on him by the General As
sembly. Thus AT the very moment when
heaven has called from all sublunary tolls
one Of our country's most distinguished pa
triots, old age and its concomitant in6rmi-
ties have compelled another 10 quit the polit-
zeal stage.
"Deeply as We may lament these striking
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1890-07-02
SEvENTY-FOUR DlEO.
uo, wcathcr's Eject Upon the Young
Children.


Children.
DIR. w. r. Oppenhimer, president OF 'ne
BOARD Of Health, reports that for the week
ending June 3S, the whole number oil dea'is'
exclusive OF still-births, was 49, whi'e
Moan temperature for week ending June
y 1S0O. 81 20 degrees; for the week endihg
June %. 1889. S2.l6 degrees. ,ooo n O.,
Rainfall for week ending June =, i oyO' W. - -
inches: for week ending June ~ lSo'' "'-'
inches. o. A.
RARE of mortality, whole population oS'4o
nor 0DO per annum-white pOdulatlOh'
a. Is per 1000 per annum; colored popula-
tion. 1872 per 900 per annum. ,o
SEX and color: Males. ~ white ana ~
colored: females, Il white and Is 9olored'
Ace. one day 10 30. white and col
ored. month TO 6. 6 white and colorcd;
& months TO II. white and colored; year
10 2. 5 white and 4 cOlored; years 70 D
white and colored; years TO 10, coiored; ;
~ wears 10 % wears, white; 20 years TO ~, :
white and 3 colorcd: 80 years 10 40, , whlte
and 3 colored: 40 years TO 80, , colored; 81
wears TO 60, 4 white and 4 colored; 90 years
IN 10. 4 white and colorcd; 20 years 70
70, 4 white and l colorcd; ~ years 10 W.
1 white: unknown, cOiored.
Condition: single, 20 Nilitc anu 80,
ed: married. > white and Scolored; VIA.
overs. / white and colored; widows,
white and , cOlorcd; unknown, coiored'
Nativity: Richmond, q; other parts ol
the United states, p; unknown, T.
Locality: City at large, white ana
eolored: Marshall ward. white and !
coiored; jefferson ward, white and 3 col
ored: Madison ward white and l coloredi
Monroe ward. white and coloredi
CLAW ward, . white and 3 colored; jackson
ward. 3 white and Is colored; Almshouse
) white and , colored; penitentiary'
cOlOred.
Comparative weekly mortality for week
ending June y, 1890. 81 white and 81 color
ed: for week ending June %, lSS9, ii white
and 81 colOred.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1890-07-02

FIrBANK-Died Tuesday, July Isl, MAT
TIE u. EUBANK. daughter of the late john
son Eubank.
Funeral from residence OF her sister. Mrs
Emma Potts, 80 West Cary, at q o'clock
this afternoon. Friends and acquaintance
requested to attend
REALE-Died, Tuesday morning, at the
residence OF his daughter, Mrs. trastus
Brainerd. in Philadelphia, Dr. JAMtS
BFALF: aged eighty-seYen years.
Funeral will lake place to-day al 3 l.. VI. at
81 Johns Burying-ground.
GORDON-Died, I'm Ibis city, July Isl.
1890. JAMES GORDON infant child Of j. ;.
and Matte II. wall ce; aged % months,
The remains were sent to Raleigh, y. C.,
for burial.
NEALF.-Died. at 81. Nincent's Hospital.
Norfolk Va June %. 1890. IN the twenty
lhird year of his age, tLARENCEJ NEALE,
son of the late f. Clarerce AMI Alice Co
wardin Ncale, and nephew Of Charles OBJ.
COwaTdin.
Funeral will take place from -. Peters Ca
thedral TODAY "wednesday at lib
O'Clock