Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1890-11-11
FUNNY CENSUS FACTS.

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FUNNY CENSUS FACTS.
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All .ort. of absuriltles are gathered u
by the c-usu.. Take for instance, th'
division of vital statistics. some of th
.chsslulr. ..nt in by enumeration. w-r'
flllel out Ia q manner quite remarkable
Acorlins o. the returns, Que individual
rr.hlrnt In NkrOn, Ohio, was an lnfin
slx mouth. old. by trade q carpenter an.
dlci last NAY of old age. 4 woman. liy
Ing IN IyouI.yllle. Nv. VS. nine. y-foul
year. ~ sgr. loi carrier by occupation
sni di~,i from illnes. consequent upot
t.ethlng. -till another person va. ~
pori~i q. having di~i from childbirth
''tlfori fccl,-r" .uperSenlng. after pnr
suing "a. occupation of car driver untiI
the Group carried him on al the early ag'
~ .lx. The disease. to which people
have .nccumbc,l. scconilng a. the ~
turns, wrrr quite remark be one un
fonuni,r had lo., her life from 'chroui,
invention meaning inflammation, pre-
.umsbly-but the fayoriie complaint
.c-ms,i to b. .chronlc," whatever thai
may have .ignlhe,i. hi. one ~ that
Que di-,l of "yhronlc" ani nothlng el.e
Among the funniest thing. are the III,
t.rs which have b-.u rryeiyci by NJ
Porter. requesting employment from ibs
cru.u. bafrau. ons arriVci Only ths
ether DAY frum Ofoylllc, al, saying
"Cin YOU Inform me how can gri on IA
enforv- the Lobster Iswf ! have beet
on th. polio. force here i've ye,r. and
last week we wa. di.chnrg-i by run
iIorl wr wss put In by Temperance
iIori ani nos tb. rum Hort !. goln' q"
have VI. own way this y~sr."
4 grntleintn resident IN >co,t.Sllle, y
y, writes; III you hear anything oh
verse Ia my character from thi. vicinity
you nccd not believe that Il u SOFAS an
not an ldlO, ~ any ~ those other meat
name. have h-rn call~l, can read aus
write sni have good health, do moi
mean "a hsy. my name OT character In
lurr,l, as I am agent for various article.
rl-a.. write aud tell me II the c-nsa'
tak-f or any one elss Va this Dclghbor
booi Ia. made any nasty remarks about
me. q. s.-Do moi .end thl. back. bat
Keep II to refer to-"
The special agent. Who have Ia charge
the investigation 10 the oyster Industry
tnd their tack especially ariuous. IN
ori.r "a dl.coN.r how many oyster. ars
csptuf,l in thl. county In a year ths
c-nsu. I. obllg~i Ca s.g-rtsin exactly
how many of these interesting biytlNr.
ar, taken pr annum by each p.rson en-
gsgri In the ba.ine... 10 accomplish
ihl. I. not .o easy. For example, taks
the cs.c ~ sn agcnt ~bo tackled q sample
negV oy.,ermsn about - nile. south oi
here on the Potomac. said he.
"IIo~ many oyster. do YOU catch In
y-iry'
"Dunno, boss"
"Don't you know how many bu.hel.f =
"No, bo.s."
"wcll. what dli you .ell them fory''
"whit they w-rr worth, bo..."
"But What wer- they worthf''
"whste,cr couli grt for them, boss. '
''Come. nov, what did Yea get Tor
them Give me some Idea"
"IIiint 20 no Ideas, boss"
"well, What va. paid you for them =
Enough to pay all my deb,., bass
"IIow much did you over
"Osei every body. boss"
That was all the agent was able Ia ell
rit from thl. subject, Who was q fair spec
linen 10 an oyst.rmin. To get the Tact
az To- hl. case, IL Wa necessary Ia -
around to every Que whom b. hal dealt
~lth during the year ani make an e.ti'
mate accordingly.
III. h.herie. division 10 the cen.u.
came acro. all sort. ~ funny things
Among other things, IL desired To know
the value ~ the carp which have been In
iroducci Into thl. county ani the profit
represented by them. One msn Ia whom
q sch.,iul. "a. submitted wrots back
that the carp In hl. pond hay bcen worth
NJ, go to him la tb. past slx months.
III. wif. had been sick and he had fol
her during that period exclusively upon
carp, to which diet d. attributed her ~
co,cry. She was worth Ia him, he .ald
at least si,Op0; therefore, he e.timated
III. gain on the Investment st that sum.
All sort. of dlfiiculii.. were encountered
by enumeritor., some ~ tbem of very
.urpn.lng nature. For instance, ths
house ~ one such sppolntee la Dakota
wa. blown .ky-hlgh by acyclone aud ths
proprietor reported that be saw hls .che'i'
nles, duly filiei out, blown Into i've dit
ferrnt counties. The greater part of the
fourth supervisor. district of Louisiana
VA. under water during the whole tims
prescribed by law for the taking of tbs
c~n.us. Hut the ccnsu. had to be taken,
though the euumerators were obliged "a
90 about la boats.
No questions asked by the census agents
eliciied such funny answers a. did th'
queries regarding mortgages. One mal
s,ii that be hal morga ,ei his PROPERTY
for the purpose of getting an esiucatiou
Ia Bibllcsl prophe.ie.. Another pledged
al. house aud lot to get $50 for IN ,rriag,
expenses. stiii anotber had ss hls OBJ
bet In yiew the purchase of twenty gal
Ions of whlskey. 4 eitilsn of sodii'
Carolina had spoibecatei his estate e.
paw hi. Subscription Tor a preacher. ID
Maryland was found sm,n siho h'd bor'
rowrd the amount necessary to pay fo'
. substitute la the war, aud be hsi oui,
been able since then to pay the Interest
ani keep on renewing the mortgage
Another person Ia Ohio hal mortgages
hi. Land for the purpose of obtalninl
money io pay for q divorce. A resident
Of Illinois had ieen put In a hole by
suIt for si0.OD, instltatsi by an irat'
husband. the charge being alIenstion O.
the afie,tlous of hl. wife. The accused In
dor.cs hls scleiule With the rcmtrk
.lIorrow~i ei,0DD to settle, hut J hav'
the woman." 4 Texan securri a Loaf
Of ESQ ito pay the expense of raising
family of eleven ch hiIirrn."