The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1890-06-13
MR.sowsER"sLIcKs THINGS UP"
An Anecdote Told by His Wife OF How
MT. Bowser Surprised Her.

from mother, saying she was i'll, and ask
ing me TO come out for a day or two, and
when Mr.. Bowser had read IL he said:
"You can go just as well as not, and you
needn't hurry rack on m account"
"But the cook left yesterday, and how
will you get along" ! asked.
"Oh, you never mind me. can sleep
here nights and lunch down town. You
needn't worry about me. just take the
baby and GO and see your mother and
stay as long as you wish"
"And you-you-"
IL shan't elope or get drunk"
But You won't try to make any changes
in the house while I'm gomez
Changes? Do you suppose I'm going
10 put ON new doors n chinmeys:
swell, please don't buy any new furni-
ture or carpets, or move things around"
Don't you worry about my buying any
thing more this spring. Hurry up, now,
and IN telephone for coupe. | may
lock up the house at noon and go up to
the club house for IA couple Of days. |
feel the need of "A little rest"
MIR. Bowser caught at my going SO
eagerly that l half suspected him of some
design, and the more | thought IL over
after getting away the more ] was con-
vinced that there was something in the
I telegraphed him that | was coming
home, n when the train got in he was
ut the depot to meet me. His face fairly
beamed with happiness, n as he beck
oned To a carriage he said:
''Here's the keys, as | can't be up for n
couple OF hours yet. ] suppose 1t will take
you a couple Of hours To clean up the mess
| have made"
had a presentiment M il was verified
before | got into the house. CHANGING ut
the front windows l saw that my lace
curtains had n queer, strange look and l
rushed i'm to find that they had been
washed. They had been taken down,
washed with bar soap, aid out on the
grass to dry n then ironed like n sheet.
Any housewife can imagine the result.
They showed soap stains III n dozen
places n hung as limp n lifeless as
the tail of n kite on IA telegraph wire. /
sat down on the floor and had a good cry
n then started out To see what else had
happened. There was n queer, oppressive
odor i'm the room and IL did not take me
long to discover that some n had var
nished the furniture-Rone over the natu-
raj oil finish with a coat OF furniture var
nish and left bristles from the brush al
every loot. II could have been no one but
Bowser. His work was further identified
by six queer-looking spots on the velvet
carpet. He had spilled varnish and then
tried to scrub IL out with soap, and in
each instance he had run the colors suf-
ficien to make q hlotch.
After weeping some more went into
the sitting ROOM. There was the same
smell here, and l soon found by the
br' stiles sticking up all over IL that Mr..
Bowser had vanished the sewing ma
chine. He had likewise repaired the
radiator, making il dark blue, and in
decorating it with white and red stripes,
his paint had crawled around like so
many fshworms. Baby at once wanted
to tie a string to il and play horse. Mr..
Bowscr had upset the varnish pail in this
room, and although he had tried sop and
water "a great spot three feet square re-
manned as IA sad witness of his careless
ness. While l stood looking l heard a
step behind me, and Mr.. Bowser called
out:
"Surprise. Surprise! knew I'd SUR
prise your
ayes, you have" I answered.
"Why. w-what's the NATTER"
.If you had only let things alone."
sticking up and I've nearly broken my
back in putting things in tidy shape, and
now you complain OF it!'
saw the silver water pitcher at that
moment and uttered a howl.
what is itI"
"That pitcher"
"Yes, I know. II hadn't been cleaned
in a MONTH"
''But you used sandpapcr on it,
"Of course, and YOU ought la have seen
the way the dirt peeled off. Anything
else to find fault with"
"Aud you-you sandpapered all the sill
vcrv" | shouted, as | looked into the din
ing-room and saw everything ON the table.
Yes. What have o got your voice
way up lin &c for?"
"You'vc ruined il! See the scratches"
'That's it-take On and find fault! No
ever does right but you"
And what ais the glass over the man
tel"
at happens. to he clean for once. |
worked al it all of AN hour"
"But you sandpapered H."
"No, | didn't, | used powdered brick.
l dom know how the scratches came
there. unless the cat did it,
And these curtains, too
"What are you crying about now! I !
a colorcd woman Ia come and wash
them, aud ] know she put 'cm through
three tubs and then laid 'cm ON the grass
To dry. | pinned and hung 'em up my
self"
"Aud they are ruincd,"
Ruined your grandfather. Perhaps I
didn't pick all the grass oil Of them. but
I'll leave il Ia any artist In town IL they
don't hang perfect. That Is all the re-
ward ! get for my hard work"
entered the kitchen Ia find that he had
sandpapered the bottoms of the iiat-irons.
scratched every tin dish in "A hundred di-
and given the. roiling-pin two
of oil Ia prevent checking. In try
ing To dress up the hardwood iioor h. had
thinned down some raw oil with kero-
scnc. and the beauty of the finish was
eclipsed only by the smell.
"fou-you didn't touch anything up
| gasped.
"Why not? | vanished all the bureaus,
and stands, cleaned every glass,
turned our bed around. painted the radi-
In the hall a beautiful drab, and
what are you bowling about?'
"Ob. MIR. Bowser. how could you goand
our things In this way"
"Destroyl Destroy"
The house might as well have burned
down,'
And | wish il had! The last thing you
said when YOU went away was for me To
go ahead and slick up, and now the first
thing you do is Ia find fault. Mrs. Bowser,