davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1890-02-13
HE is A GENIUS,
He Invented a Wonderful Self.
Waiting Table.


"By Jove! I've an idea!' said Mr..
Bixby gleefully, while at the dinner
table the other day. "Now here we've
spent half our time while at the table
passing things to each other ana it's
all nonsense. know just how it can
be done away with and I'll have the
thing patented before u month and
make mint of money out OF 1t. I'm
going to put in all my spare time on ii
and I'll show you model OF one oil
the cleverest inventions OF the age"
Mrs. Bixby did not say anything.
She was accustomed to outbursts OF
this kind on the part of Mr.. Bixby,
who was frequently seized with "a
mania for inventing and paten ting
something. and MS he had always re-
covered without mortgaging the house
or injuring any of the family. she
hoped all would end we'll this time.
Three days later, after he had work.
ed most OF the night before, he came
to Mrs. Bixby with his latest CLEVER
invention"
You see, my dear, what it is" he
said calmly as he gave it a whirl. "Its
revolving dining-room table. to do
away with this eternal passing OF
things to each other When you see
anything out of reach that you want,
all you have TO do is to give the table
gentle little whirl and there you
have the dish you want right in front
OF you. Now what do you think of
that, my dear? Don't you think our
fortune is made, eh?"
1T might work, Elijah" replied
Mrs. Bixby, calmly. ''If you could
make several little improvements.
what improvements" snapped out
Bixby.
well tell me, please, where your
own plate would be when the dish you
wanted had been whirled around in
front OF you?"
"Why I-I-it-"
"And where would the rest of our
plates be.
We'll | never thought OF that. 1
I"
IL suppose, my dear, there might be
some sort OF a signal given by which
all the others could grab their plates
and hold on to them when the table
was about TO be whirled, or we
might"
Take care, Harriet Amanda Bixby;
don't you go too far nown
"Or we might-why, Elijah, what
do you mean by throwing valuable
patent like that into the fireP"
"What do mean woman?' You'll
know what / mean when you're left q
despised grass widow with six young
ones to look out for! And that is just
what will happen, as sure as shoel if
you open your mouth again Laugh
now! Giggle! litter! Tee-hee some
more. can't you? Darn woman, any
how
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1890-02-13
Points on Early Potatoes.

Ground for early potatoes should be
aloose light soil that will dry out early
in the spring, and ii proteced from the
cold west winds by woods or hill it is
an advantage. The ground should be
we'll matured with fine barn-yard ma
nure and plowed in the fall. Plow
not over five inches deep. AS soon in
the spring as the ground is dry
enough harrow well and pillow again.
This time seven or eight inches deep.
You now have the manure where it
will do the most good also fine ground
in the bottom. Harrow thoroughly
again, and you have perfect seed
bed, fine in the bottom rs well as on
top. If the ground is left until spring
it can be treated the same. The adj
vantage in fall blowing is, you can
work cartier in the spring. When tho
ground is ready, open good deep fur
rows, three feet six inches apart. Five
inches is deep enough for early pota-
toes.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1890-02-13

In Russia the passport becomes
more needful than money. Not because
people are halted on the street TO show
their passport, as is currently supposed,
nor because police line the streets and
are waiting for strangers at every
corner, but because it is impossible
to get either in or out of Russia, or TO
get food and lodging when one is there
without il. The police on the streets
know very well that strangers have
their passports or they would not be
there. First OF all, it is difficult to
buy tickets to Russia without showing
"a passport vised by the Russian con-
sui at the starting point BY the
steamship lines no passenger comes on
board the boat without the Russian
consul's written permission, and by
the railways, while the greater hurry
at the ticket offices makes it possible
to buy tickets without showing any
documents, no visitor arrives at the
frontier without very earnestly wish
ing he had one.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1890-02-13
Another Case of Predestination.

A few hours before the engagement at Dan
bridge, Tenn, two members of the LIST Wiscon-
sin Cavalry had warm dispute over the mat
ter Of generalization One Of them stoutly
maintained that the time and place of every
mans death are appointed before hand. With
equal fervor the other trooper maintained that
the belief in generalization is the greatest nom
sense imaginable. Soon after the engagement
opened the regiment, which had been fighting
on foot was forced to beat hasty retreat, and
the believer In generalization and his oppo-
nent In the recent debate were two of the most
nimble runners among the Union troops They
happened 10 meet when the pursuit ceased.
The man who had condemned the theory of
foreordination thought he had good joke on
the other.
"Look here, Charley" he said, 'if the time
Of your death is foreordained what made you
runP'
swell, you see," was the reply, ''it was fore
ordained that should run, and run like the
devil, too"
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1890-02-13

The idea OF planting Tor honey has
been gaining ground in this country,
and quite number of bee-keepers
now sow alsike clover, bucllwheat,
sweet clover, and Chapman honey
plant for their bees to feed on. Even
the government has taken up the
question. and sent out a great many
pounds of seeds of honey plants, and
the inference is that the bee-keepers
will plant for honey in the future more
than they have in the past. But plant
ing for honey alone will not pay, in
my estimation, but when clover or
plants sown can be used for hay or
some other purpose, there is indirec thy
u double profit obtained. The average
colony OF bees forage over thousands
of acres of land in search of their
sweets, and the bee keeper could not
calculate on more than ten pounds OF
honey per acre from honey producing
plants. This would not pay any one
for the trouble, unless only such plants
were grown that could be utilized for
other PURPOSES,
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1890-02-13
ZONE FOOT IN THE GRAVE

How often do we hear the above said Of
some poor pilgrim DER life's thorny path,
whose tottering step, pallid face, unnatural
glitter Of the eye and hacking cough, and
its accompanying involuntary pressure Of
the hand over the lungs, the seat of the
dread disease consumption-that causes the
remarki Too frequently, alas and in the
interests Of such unfortunates this is pen
ned, to assure them that their steps need
tend no longer towards that narrow recep-
tacle that awaits all-that is, until life's
allotted space is covered from any such
cause, for the scientific researches of Dr.
r. V. Pierce, of the Invalids' Hotel and
Surgical Institute, of Buffalo, N. ", re-
sulting in his "Golden Medical Discovery"
have wrested from Nature remedy which
never fails to cure this scourge of our race
(which is really nothing moro nor less than
Scrofula of the Lungs, if taken in time and
given q fair trial.
For Scrofula in all its myriad forms,
whether affecting the lung tissues or other
organs or parts, DIR. Pierce's Golden Med
ical Discovery is sovereign remedy, and
the only one that is sold by druggists,
under positive guarantee from its manu-
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1890-02-13
rho Vice Presidents Handsome House.

Vice President Morton is giving the
finishing touches to the dining-room in
his residence-the Alexander Graham
Bell mansion--and it is attracting uni
versal attention in Washington, since
it is to be the scene of the leading din.
ner parties of the present administra-
ton. The addition which Mr.. Morton
has just been making to his great house
on Scott Circle was chiefly designed to
accommodate the dining-room. 1t is
done In red and natural oak. The
walls are terra Gotta and the high
wainscoting Of panelled oak. The
ceiling is of panelled oak also, showing
the beams, and the walls and ceiling
are joined by a sort of arch-shaped
"cove" continuous all around and
adorned with ornamental plastering in
red. Behind the Vice-President, as
he sits at the table, will be hung fire.
place with carved oak mantelpiece,
and a great mirror above it. Nearly
The whole of one side of the room is
occupied by triple bow window,
with enormous sheets of plate glass
filling The lower frames and the upper
frsg.cs containing some mosaic glass,
with designs in leadwork and 'jewels,"
specially made for Mr.. Morton by q
Philadelphia firm. The floor is of in
laid wood. The dining-room doors,
when thrown open, show a sweep of
two parlors and q library, the whole
range of the four rooms extending 40
feet in a straight line.-Washington
Letter.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1890-02-13
Poultry Pickings.

If you cannot procure meat for your
fowls, buy them some cotton-seed meal.
II fed daily, one pint TO n mess OF soft
food for 200 hens is sufficient. Milk is
also an excellent substitute for meat,
and, in fact, is considered preferable
by some pultry keepers. No matter
how well balanced their ration may
be, change ii often. A variety OF food
gives zest to the appetite and stimu-
lates digestion.
A poultry yard can properly be the
dumping ground for a great deal OF
vegetable rubbish, TO give the occu-
pants exercise in scratching and to
convert the rubbish into manure or
mulch. A ton OF weeds straw, leaves,
salt or bog hay. sea-weed or cornstalks
will soon be scratched fine in "a popu-
lous poultry-yard. The weather assists,
of course.
New corn'that is quite immature In
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1890-02-13
Making Pork Too Fat.

The evil OF overwhelming pork is
less common than it used to be. Two
reasons have combined to make lean
meat more populrr. The doctors
taught that it was more healthGul and
nutritious than the fat, and about the
same time the use of other oils decreas-
ed the price of lard so that excessive
fat pork was neither profitable nor
needed. The change in ways of feed
ing has also had something to do with
making pork more wholesome. Corn
is no longer the exclusive food even
for fattening. The best practice now
is to feed the rations that will make
hogs grow and keep thrifty from the
time it is born until it is killed. There
may be exceptions to this in animals
kept for breeders; but all others should
be fat enough for use from the time
they are the right size for roasting.
BY the liberal use OF milk, oatmeal
and peas growth is promoted, along
with at all times enough fat TO make
delicious pork, far better than that
made by starving the animal while
young. and overlooking with corn as
they become older.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1890-02-13
Regular Hours for Feeding.

The advantage of good feeding de-
ponds much on regularity. II supplies
are furnished at irregular hours, not
only are animals kept uneasy, but
their digestion is injured and they can
not thrive. Here is the great advant-
age OF herbivorous animals over those
OF carnivorous habit. Flesh-eaters
gorge themselves when they capture
their prey, and then suffer from hunger
until their next capture. This keeps
them always thin in flesh, as they have
to be 10 hunt well.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1890-02-13

For crop to pIsturc, TO rot on the
land or 10 pillow under for manure, the
pea-vine clover is superior to the
medium or small variety. But it makes
a very coarse hay, which can hardly
be cured without heating or getting
wet before it is drawn in. Thus kept,
cattle and sheep reject the butts much
as they do the coarse butts of corn
stalks. Considering the extra trouble
there is in curing the large variety,
the smaller is preferable for hay. In
fact, it will probably give more feed
in first and second crop than the large
kind. Owing to its stronger growth,
the pea vine is less liable to winter
kill than the common variety of clover.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1890-02-13
MIX as Food.

Not merely young people, but those
VINO work h1ri either with mind or
body, are better for living largely on a
diet OF milk. 1t is particularly favor
exertion. Gladstone in England uses
a great deal of milk daily, and finds
his health better sustained than by
taking. more OF his nourishment in the
shane OF bread and meat.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1890-02-13

wholesome and excellent for fatteni ne
poultry. The notion that ii produces
bowel disease or cholera is only no.
ton; moldy, green corn is no doubt
unwholesome; we were speaking OF
sound, new corn.
The housewife who makes prac-
tice OF giving fowls u mixed mess Of
warm mash and vegetables with scraps
of meat and crumbs of bread will
quickly discover that it is superior to
an exclusive diet OF grain for poultry.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1890-02-13

Pullman Tourist Sleeping car excursions to
California and the Pacific Coast points leave
Chicago every Thursday, Kansas City every
Friday via the Santa Fe Route. Ticket rate
from Chicago S47.50, from Kansas City $500.
Sleeping car rate from Chicago 81. 90 per double
berth, from Kansas City S3.00per double berth.
Everything furnished exceptmeals. These ex-
cursions are personally conducted by expert
enced excursion managers, who accompany
parties to destination. For excursion folder
containing full particulars and map folder and
time table of the Santa Fe Route and reserv-
ing of sleeping car berths, address, s. NJ. Osgood,
Gen. Agt., A. T. 81 s. +. r. R., 100 4th St., Des
Moines Iowa
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1890-02-13

THIS is spray the Bird chung to,
Making II blossom with pleasure,
Ire the high tree-top she sprung to,
Fit for her nest and her treasure.
Oh, what hope beyond measure
Was the poor sprays which the flying feet
hung to
So TO be singled out, built in, and sung toi
This is the heart the Queen leant on,
Thrilled in minute erratic,
Ere the true bosom she bent on,
Meet for loves regal dalmatic.
Oh, what fancy ecstatic
Was the poor hearts ere the wandered
went on
Love to be saved for it, proffered to, spent
on!
Robert Browning.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1890-02-13

with LOCAL APPLICATIONS. as they cannot
reach the scat Of the disease. Catarrh is blood
or constitutional disease and in order to cure il
you have to take internal remedies. Halls
Catarrh cure is taken internally, and acts direct
ly on the blood and mucous surfaces. Halls
Catarrh Cure is no quack medicine. 1t was
prescribed by one Of the best physicansin this
country for years, and is regular prescription.
1t is composed Of the best tOuiCs known, com
bined with the best blood purifiers, acting di-
rectly on the mucous surfaces. The perfect
combination Of the two ingredients is what pro-
duces such wonderful results in curing catarrh.
Send for testimonials free. +. J. CHENEY &
CO., Props, Toledo, o. Sold by druggists,
rorinn e
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1890-02-13

Machinery has not yet entered the manu-
facture Of French clay pipes.
w. S. Huntingdon says railroads will
soon make 100 miles per hour.
Hamilton Ont bakers were fined 50 fol
selling bread under legal weight
Chicago has been licensed to hold a
worlds fair. The capital is 5000, 900.
Syracuse Boss Tailors union does not
allow one boss to employ over forty hands.
A man named Cool has just died at GIens
Falls, N. Y. at the age of a years. The
world rarely keeps Cool so long.
ST. Paul is prosecuting the Salvation
Army St Paul used'to do this regularly
q few centuries ago, but it was supposed
that his amendment was lasting
A Minnesota milkman was gored &c
death by a bull on Sunday last. No man
unaccustomed to dealing with cattle has
any business trying to manage them.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1890-02-13
The Worlds Fair, Located Where

On the line of the Minneapolis & st. Louis
Railway, ''Albert Lea Route" the best and
most pleasing route between st. Paul or
Minneapolis and Chicago.
The only line which runs into three union
depots at Chicago, thus avoiding long and
tedious transfers to connecting lines
The equipment is unsurpassed by any other
line and consists of comfortable day coaches
and Pullman palace sleeping cars cheated by
steam.n
For detailed information as to rates, routes,
etc, call upon any agent in the Northwest, or
write to the undersigned, &. NJ. PRATT,
Act'g G. T. s. P. A., Minneapolis, Mimi.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1890-02-13

Hark to the sound of hUmanity's walls
Millions Of people with aches and with ails.
HEADACHES and humors, a merciless food,
Weakness OF lungs and disorders Of blood.
Yet there's helper that certainly saves,
Thousands of people from premature graves.
The remedy Is DR., Plercc's Golden Medical
Discovery. Ii cures coughs relieves asthma,
checks bronchitis, purifes the blood heals sores,
oruptions and unsightly pimples and is without
rival for all the ills that spring from disor-
dered liver. All druggists.
Don't hawk, and blow and spit, but use DR..
Sage's Catarrh Remedy. OF druggists.
The war on gambling in Chicago has proce ed
ed so far and so vigorously that no games are
running In the grand jury room.
No stranger should leave the city without
box OF 'Tansills Punchn sc. Cigars.
New Orleans is shortly to have sanger.
fest.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1890-02-13
HnhSnn'S Chnica.

Judge: In court.
A lawyer who was pleading a case noticed
that the judge had fallen asleep.
but since there is no one to hear me" he
went on, raising his voice.
Pardon" replied the judge, waking up with
a start lit is precisely because | was listening
to you that fell asleep"
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1890-02-13
A Surprise.

Policeman hope, sir, you'll vote foi
Bliuks."
Business Man.-.'What Blinksl The Blink.
who inst got ont Of the penitentiary!"
NO indeed"
son! You mean the Blinks just arrested fol-
boodling"
mo, l mean Blinks, the business man,
friend of education, member of the church
and"
MY stars! How did he come to get nom
mated! n-New York Weekly.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1890-02-13

Several thiclsnesses OF stout paper or
roof boards overlaid with burlap and
this coated with coal tar makes a
serviceable roofing for sheds and
other buildings where cheapness is de-
sirable. The tar will need renewing
every year or two, but it does not
cost much. If filled with gravel it will
be all tho more durlble.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1890-02-13
Barley for Hog Fattening.

The low price of Barley this year,
especially that which is light weight
or off color, has induced many farmers
to feed it to their hogs. 1t makes a
firm, sweet pork with more lean in it
than when corn is fed. In England
refuse barley is staple pig feed. 1t
is better if mixed with peas and the
two ground together. The husks OF
the barley help to prevent clogging of
the stomach, to which young pigs are
especially liable il given too concen-
trated food
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1890-02-13
To DiSnel Colds.

Headaches and Fevers, to cleanse the system
effectually, yet gently, when costive or bilious,
or when the blood is impure or sluggish, to
permanently cure habitual constipation, to
awaken the kidneys and liver to healthy
activity, without irritating or weakening them,
use Syrup of Figs
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1890-02-13

Manager Why have you run eur
telegraph lines round Philadelphia in
stead of directly through?
Assistant The authorities said 1t
was against the law to run anything
through the city.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1890-02-13

when Baby was sick, we gave her Castoria,
When she was q Child, she cried for Castoria,
When she became Miss, she chung to Castoria,
When she had Children, she gave them Castoria
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1890-02-13

The c., st. T & X. c. r. r. fast line will
leave Des Moines at p. m, commencing Sun
day, Feb. 9th, arriving Chicago at a. IN.
leaving Chicago att p M, arriving Des Moines
at z .05 81 m
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1890-02-13

Colds, coughs, and incipient consumption
cured by DR.. Bulls Cough Syrup, remedy of
fifty years standing, known and used all over
the world. Do yourself the favor to give 1t
trial. You will be amply repaid
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1890-02-13
TheOlOpical Item,

Rev. Eli Soote, a colored parson, has consid
cradle trouble in collecting his salary from the
delinquent members of his flock. Jim Crow,
in particular, shows great deal Of delicacy in
paying his pew rent. Not long since Soote
met Jim and tackled him on the subject
''See heah, jim, you hasn't paid up fur two
munfs. Doesn't yer know dat dose who serbs
at the altar mus lib by the altarm
"Dats so, my beloved pasture, but dar am
ernudder text in der bible what am in conhic'
wild dat ar"
"Whar did yer find 'em?"
~ searched de scriptures an found 'em. rs
one OBJ de sheep OBJ yO' flock, amt Il"
"You is, Mr.. Grow, but l feels you am one
OBJ de black sheep"
"Kinder strikes me yer amt no strawberry
blonde yersef; but amt de commandment
gibben ter de shepherds and pastures oh de
flock, Feed my sheep! an heah yer comes to
me-One OBJ de sheep-an' wants ter be fed, yo'
ole blackcnCd sepulchum. Eff yer means tc
bide by de bible, why doan yer lead dis heab
sheep inter er iCeter saloon an set up er dozen
on dc half shell! De good book says, feed de
sheep; but you do nothin' but, shear 'em.
Whar did yer read sheer my shecpr Go home,
ole man, an search de scriptures, stead OF
nosin' erhout Ter money what Use earned by
dc SWEET OBJ my brow."-Texas Siftiings.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1890-02-13

Why not saUeyour clothes, by using the best,
purest, most economical soap, Dobbins' Electric.
Made ever since 1854 Try it once you will
use it always. Your grocer Keeps it or will get
it. Look for the name, Dobbi,.S.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1890-02-13

Use after each meal Scott's Emulsion; 1t is
as palatable as milk and easily digested. Deli
cate people improve rapidly with its use. For
Consumption, Throat affections and Bronchitis
it is unequalled. DR., THos. PRIM, Ala, says
81 used Scott's Emulsion on a child eight
months old he gained four pounds in month"
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1890-02-13

Candle shades for dinner tables have appar-
emily reached the acme Of beauty. The variety
is endless and now designs seem to be introdu
ced weekly.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1890-02-13

They have discovered sect Of vampires in
Kansas City, but dispatches do not say wheth-
er they deal in acres or inside property.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1890-02-13

To promptly relieve and permanently cure
or neuralgia, use Salvation Oil.
For sale by all druggists at 25 cents bottle.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1890-02-13

A large ''robin roost" is reported in Indiana.
The largest robin roost en- this continent is in
Canada.