Beverly banner. [volume] (Beverly, N.J.) 1877-1964, 1890-06-28

1t may be true that all men are
born equal, but inequalities begin to
appear very soon afterward.
"Why is Blifer such a tyrant to
everybody around him?" at must be
because he is small and weak"
A cat has nine lives, which shows
hat Nature had a pretty fair idea of
what a cat would have to go through.
"Yes," said Fogg, "as a success l
have always been q failure, but as a
failure | have been an unqualified
| success"
A Burlington girl says she always
likes to ride on the outside of a seat,
near the wheel, so that she Gamble close
to the felloes."
She.-"If capital punishment must
be, | certainly favor electricity" He.
-"Oh then that is to say you prefer
currents or raisins."
An Irish officer, giving orders to a
sentinel, commanded him "not to stir
a foot, but to walk up and down, and
see what he could hear"
Our minds are like certain vehicles,
when they have little to carry they
make much noise about it, but when
heavily loaded they run quietly.
A tramp typo said, the other day,
that he was not particular about his
food. As long as he could get "snipe
on trust" he was perfectly satisfied.
A man can now be cremated i'll
Paris for sixty cents. But the trouble
is that the man who has sixty cents
isn't the man who wants to be cremated.
Industrious Laborer-Are you in
favor of the eight hour movement?
Lazy Laborer-No, Pm not in favor
of any sort of movement. Rest is good
enough for me.
To meet with success sometimes
more than a small effort is necessary.
1t is not by short, ftful jerks but by
long vigorous pulls that a boat is for
ced against the current.
An Irish peasant haunted by wicked
feas stated his case thus Its not
the bit they ate that | grudged them;
its the continual trampling that fairly
wears the life out of me !"
The telegraph informs us that the
football game at Annapolis ended in a
fight. But what puzzles us is, how did
the spectators knows when the football
game ended and the fight began.
Cora Miss Fussanfeather's hair used
to be black. | see it has turned chest
nut. How do you account for that :?
Clara believe she has been using
the funny paper to do her hair up in.
Division Superintendent" Didn't
| tell you to come round here only
once a week? Applicant-"Yes, sir
but Saturday, when | called, it was last
week; and now, Monday, it is this
week."
The ma who put on his summer
underwear last week was shifting
around with a bad cold after Tuesday
mornings frost. This is in perfect
harmony with the laws of cause and
effect.
The divinest attribute in the heart
of man is love; and the mightiest,
because the most human principle i'll
the heart of man is faith. Love is
heaven faith is hat which appro-
PIRATES heaven. ..
81 never saw such a woman in all
my life" said Bass; "you are never
satisfied with anything" people who
know the man | took for a husband"
| replied Mrs, b., "think, ON the contrary
that | am easily satisfied"
Precocious boy "Mamma, was An
anias killed for telling just one lieY'
Mamma " He was, my son." Boy,
thoughttully "There has been a
change in the administration since
Ananias' time, hasn't there, Mammal"
A great deal of talent is lost in the
world for the want Of a little courage.
Every day sends to their graves a num-
Der of obscure men who have remained
obscure only because their timidity has
prevented them from making a first
effort.
"Oh, we had such a nice walk this
afternoon" she said, exuberantly.
"Who was the mar ?" he inquired sig
niicantly. "Who said it was a many"
she replied, begging the question:
"Well,' he continued, politely, who
was the dude"
A little girl of tender years, who had
been attending one of the public kin
dergartens, fell from a ladder. Her
mother caught her up from the ground
in terror, exclaiming "Oh, darling,
how did you fall ?" vertically" re-
piled the child without a seconds hest
tation.
Mr.. Krehbiel had many interesting
things to say about the precursors of
the ~pianoforte Equally interesting
might be some account of the present
coursers of the pianoforte, drawn from
experience of patrons of summer resorts
and jewellers within earshot of a hive
of music teachers.
Backing the nose all over with
burnt cork is said to prevent the eyes
being dazzled by the reflection of the
sun on the water. If young ladies will
only remember this when they go
yachting with their young gentlemen
friends, they will save themselves lots
of discomfort. al
A timid man, who was much afraid
of burglars, on leaving town for a week
or two spent half a day in fastening up
all the doors and windows, and other
wise securing the house till, on finish
ing, he discovered that the only way