Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1890-09-12

VIA
"It's on account Of my poor eyes re-
piled my Uncle join, in the hoarse
whisper that seemed habitual with him.
''that's why I'm forced to wear these
green s~pcctacles," he said.
How stupid / was to have forgotten
my uncle's weakness of vision.
Then there was a long silence, which
was broken by my Uncle John.
"You amt thinking of marrying, 10
seph. are your said my uncle.
"Why, bless me, no, uncle I replied.
eve only thirty shillings a week, and
there are four OF u.s."
"But II she was an heiress, Joseph
.croaked my uncle.
I'm opea to an heiress," I replied.
THAT was likely girl that opened the
door for you, Nephew Joseph" said my
Uncle John. ''rm very fond Of that
likely girl" he went on, land she's an
heiress," added my uncle mysteriously,
''and she's n sort of a girl as nd make
any young man happy"
/ didn't quite see how the slatternly
girl was calculated to make any young
man happy. but 1 remembered that she
was my uncle's ~stepdaughter; so I re-
marked namely, "She'sa spanking young
woman, sir
'She's all that, nephew" croaked out
my uncle. shes the very image of her
blessed mother, and look how happy
that woman has made me. Don't you
think you'd like to walk out with her,
Nephew Joseph? Don't you think you'd
like to take her to the Crystal PalaceY'
said the tempter, my uncle.
zone can't afford to take girls to the
Crystal Palace, uncle" l replied, son
thirty shillings a week"
But suppose l was to stand Sam,
said my uncle. 'Joseph," continued my
uncle mysteriously, "she's a-puttin' or
her Sunday clothes. You wait till you
see her when she's dressed"
Here was a horrible situation. Ny
uncle was about to propose that l should
take the slatternly girl to the Crystal
Palace in her Sunday clothes, and all the
time 1 was engaged to Sophia; but /
didn't dare to sayanything about Sophia
to my Uncle John.
"'That likely girl that's a dressin' her
self for you, Nephew Joseph, in the next
room. II have 200 golden sufferings the
day she marries, and I've been saving her
up for you, Nephew Joseph, ever since
my wedding day. There's a e5 note on
the mantel for you, Joseph, and there's
a Suffering inside. Take her to the Pal
ace, nephew, and let me hear you've
squared it between you when you bring
her home. Don't you spare expense,
Joseph; treat her to swings and merry
go-rounds, take her on the switchback
railway; and mind you travel fust class,
Joseph, there's nothing fetches a young
girl like travelling fust class. l was
} young myself, once, Joseph" added my
uncle, with . sigh. she's a real high
stopper is Polly"
There was nothing else for it; I had tC
express my delight, and as | did so the
real high stopper entered the room,
shouldn't have known her. She was
appalling-that's the only word for it.
"She's a blessed angel" said my
uncle with enthusiasm, land the very
image of her dear mother. Heaven
bless you, my children! Don't be later
: than 8, Joseph. Good-by, children, =" he
said. And then l and the real high step
per started for the Crystal Palace.
/ draw a veil over my suiferings al
? that place of amusement. Polly chung
to my arm till 1 felt as if we were STA
mese twins; and she made warm love L
me upon the switchback railroad.
e you're the first young man I've evel
walked out with" she said to me ingenu
ously while the fireworks were going OH.
= 1 was no philanderer, and l was desper,
ately in love with Sophie; but l couldn'
afford to quarrel with my uncle, so
, pretended to make love to Polly. l dis
sembled, and l made it as like the .rea
thing as possible; and when we reached
Araminta terrace l felt like the villain
e of a melodrama. Polly opened the doc
l with a latch key. We went straight ul
to my uncle's bedroom, where the ole
o gentleman was still lying in state. l
possible, his o smelt more strongly
than ever Of brandy.
d You're very late, Joseph" said m,
uncle. reprovingly; but young peopl
! will be young people. was a young
I person once"
t My uncle is getting a little mixed,
G thought.
"How did you enjoy yourself, Pollyg
e croaked my uncle.
. "It was just heavenly, mother, crieI
a the girl; and then the cat was out of tn
bag. Here was Polly's mother masquerad
l ing asmy Uncle John. Horrible thought
a flashed through my mind. Perhaps tine.
had murdered him and buried him i
the coal cellar. / seized the poker.
n shouted "Policer' l rushed upon m
supposed Uncle John and seized his lon
t white beard. 1t, his venerable wig, hi
i hairy fa>c his tapped cap and his greer
specifies anne away in my hand, and
saw a fat, red faced woman, perfect
bald, and with huge sham eyebrows 0
white hair.
"Aint you ashamed of yourself, 20
young rapscallion, to treat your grea
a aunt " this way, and me a lone widow
n Oh, Mr.. Joseph" cried the woman, a
! she bounced out of bed and flung hersel
upon her knees. "Worleybone's bee
; dead these three months, and we ain
provided for, and / was doing my bea
for Polly, which is my daughter, beinI
a my bounden duty. Oh, Mr.. Joseph