davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Pascagoula democrat-star. (Pascagoula, Miss.) 1878-1920, 1890-10-17

" INiCDj ''|''""' VIM - -
Krebs.
Go to Gc.7tl & Cox 10 buy yo,,
,,othing. Salt from So M.
-Nrs. Ricarrl Ryder, Of Moss
"oini, via please aareit oar tha1ks
;or mammoth e-g plaat and a fine
lot Of sweet peppers, the finest we
have seen this season.
Secure your CRATE aud stove coal
before the cold weather sets in from
&. Flanagan g. SoH.
Sheriff Florian Seal, or Harrison,
was here Tuesday on oflaial business.
We arc sorry he lid not drop in and
fake a smile with us. Come again,
Florian, aud stay longer next time.
IF you waut to ride last aid COM
rortably buy of W. NJ. CaaIy one Of
hose nice saddles, set Of harness and
wh;n to SUIT.
Mr.. J. ID. Blcch, Of the firm Of
Bloch Bios, Mobile, while IN town
taking orders for bu@2ies, wagons,
carts and harness, dropped in 10 see
us. Bloch Bros. are the largest whole.
sale manufacturers of harness and
saddlcry, carriages, buggics, wagons,
crrts, etc, la the South. The firm
deals fairly and %squarely with ali.
some fifty of the young people of
Pascagoula last Friday evening sud-
denly made their appearance on the
grounds OF those clever ami hospila-
Bile ladies, Mrs. Dean and Mrs. Wolf,
on the bay front, who know so well
how TO make every one happy.
Dancing and merry-making ruled
the hour, and every one was highly
delighted with their visit. The whole
affair was the get up % the young
people withou: warning.
We received a pleasant visit Nom
day from our old-lime friend, Mr.
Jacob Elmer, of Biloxi, IA OF the
oldest residents aud business men of
that place. Although he is away up
~ the seventies, he looks hale and
hearty, and we hope may be spalel
many years more. lie is ono Of our
oldest subscribers in Harrison county,
having taken our paper for forat lcast
forty wears. He reports his Town skill
improving aud in a healthy condition
financially. We confidently believe
Biloxi will be the largest commercial
city on The Gulf Coast in time.
On last Sunday, WIN. G.. Parker
arrived ia Scranton with the negro
thief AMI burglar Geo. House, from
Fort BAYOU. lie i accused Of break
inv iato the houses Of llr. Randolph
aud Frank Land, aud taking there
from a S35 suit Of -'olhcs AID several
other items. A pistol that was siol-
en- was found on his person. Mr..
Parker had been on his trail for three
DAYS and nights without an hours
sleep before coming mp with hlm,
which he did near Ocean Springs
The negro made desperate resistance
and came near stripping Parker be-
fo,e nc could be captured.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-09-24
The Professor Ahead.

A teachers standing frequently de-
pends more on his ability to deal with
human nature than with the intricate
problems of the text books, and this
applies to colleges as well as primary
schools. A well known professor OF
one of our Maine colleges has always
been dreaded more by the incoming
freshman class than any other man on
the faculty. This feeling wears away
somewhat during the last course, but
there is always an awe-inspired at.
mosphere as thick as Down-east fog
bank. Jokes have, however, frequent.
ly been tried on him, since college
boys are very brave when they think
their tracks are covered, but the
jokes have usually been found to have
a double back-action kick, like an
old fint-lock musket.
With the expectation of getting an
"adjourn" from his recitation the
next day, some scamp one night
broke into this professors classroom
and painted every seat in the room
with fresh paint. When the class
assembled next day, the professor
said very blandly:
"You can sit down, or stand up,
just as you please"
The class stood for full hour, its
members finding relief by standing
first on one foot and then OH another.
On anotheroccasion when the mer-
curry had dropped below zero another
attempt was made to get an "adjourn." !"
The stove and every window was re-
moved from the recitation room, but
the professor was found there at the
usual hour seated comfortably in his
chair with overcoat, winter cap and
wooden gloves on, and without dis
comfort to himself, conducted recita-
ton of an hours length, with Heavens
breezes wandering uninterruptedly
through the room.-Lewiston Journal.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-09-24
Edison's Little Joke,

"When the phonograph was q new
er invention than it is now Edison
put one of the machines in a clock
and placed it in a guest chamber.
Being great lover Of jokes he also
placed u friend in the guest chamber
one night. Just as the friend was
disrobing he heard voice exclaim
Twelve o'clock prepare to die "
This was too much for the visitor, and
he sprang from his bed and rushed
to the library where Edison and his
friend were waiting his appearance.
The invention was soon explained and
quiet restored. kansas City Times.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-09-24
Within the Law.

81 want to be posted in de law"
said colored woman who called at
the Gratiot avenue station the other
day.
"Well?" replied the sergeant.
ave got gal"
"Yes."
"And she's got bow"
Every likely"
81 can't abear him, an doan want
him round de house. What co'se
shall l take ?"
Have you ever given him a hint p
LANDS, sab but l jess tole him to
cl'ar out or I'd bust him to smash l
reckon dat's hint"
"But he didn't 60"
"No, sab. Now, den, want to
know how fur kin 60 and keep widin
de law. I've talked to him, frowed
water on him, hit him wild a club, an
called him names, made de dog bite
him, and p'inted pistol at him, but
anyway he won't stay away. How
much furder kin l 60 and not break
de law? Could l dun stand in de
yard and NOW him across de legs wild
an old scythe when he cum up in de
dark? Could de pistol 60 off acci-
dentally 7"
When advised to try peaceful meas
uros she Indignantly responded:
Oats what l did do on the very
go-off. l took him by de collar and
frowed him ober de fence. Free
Press.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-09-24
Two Campaign Stories.

The experiences which members o
congress undergo while canvassinl
their respective districts are varied
and often amusing.
During a campaigning tour GER
tain congressman was booked for 6
speech in one of the country towns il
his district, and while there was the
guest at the house. of one of the lead
ing politicians of the place. The wife
of the host made every endeavor to
entertain the distinguished guest in g
beftting manner. She had prepared
an elaborate supper, and, as the Hon
Mr.. - was to her mind very great
man and much addicted to the use oi
big words, she deemed it necessary tc
use as large words as possible herself
while he was present during the meal
But the well meaning woman made
an unfortunate beginning. One Of
the first questions she asked was:
"Mr. -, will you have condiments
in your tea ?"
Il beg your pardon, madam, l don't
quite understand" replied the con-
gresham.
"Shall l serve condiments in your
tea ?" she again asked, with the ex.
preston on her face which betokened
the fact that she knew exactly what
she was talking about.
Thank you madam, l will take
pepper and salt, but no mustard, il
you please" rejoined the wicked
statesman, who was not always as
gallant as he might have been.
In light of the above, it is perhaps
that this particular housewife tried to
persuade her husband not to use his
influence in re-electing this uncharit.
able member of congress.
Quite different was the experience
of one Of the jurists now on the bench
in Washington, who is widely known
aspne ofthe most courteous gentlemen
in the city. Some years ago he and
friend were making political speech
es in Philadelphia, and were entertain
ed at farmhouse in the back woods
district. The fare was wretched, for
none of the food on the table was fit
to eat, and the two city gentlemen
had difficulty in keeping up appear
ances of making meal. Judge -
had always been noted for his gallant t.
ry in complimenting the hostess
wherever he was entertained upon
the excellence of the various dishes
served, but his travelling companion
thought that for once the Judge would
have to forego all such observations
for, to his mind, there was not pala-
table thing in sight. He was mistak-
en-, however, for, as they were about
to leave the table, the Judge picked
up the salt cellar, and, turning to the
hostess, said: MADAM, this is most
excellent salt, most excellent. -
Washington Post.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-09-24

"What is your name ?" demanded
the officer sternly, taking out his note
book.
"My name ees Emile Zola."
"The fellow that writes those French
novels ?"
"Ze same."
The policeman regarded him in ST.
lence moment, and then put his note
book back in his pocket.
"Go back in the water" he said,
"and finish your bath. The Lord
knows you need more washing than
other people" Pittsburgh Dispatch.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-09-24
Not Likely to 0verdo It,

The police officer danced frantically
along the river bank, waving his
hands. and shouting to man in the
stream.
"Come out of there - he vociferat-
ed. "Hi, there You Don't you
know that it is against the law to 90 in
bathing here in the daytime p
81 deed not know eet," apologized
the offender. making for the shore.
II do not leef in zees coontree. am
here on O veesit."
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-09-24
More of John Aliens Stories.

Representative John Allen has an
inexhaustiable fund of good stories,
says a Washington letter to the Gin
cinnati Commercial Gazette. Here
are two relating to the war. With
the first Allen illustrates the deep.
seated prejudice and contempt felt for
the Yankees. A confederate soldier
in a certain regiment had become
noted for running away from every
fight. On one occasion his captain
found him in line as an unexpected
attacked opened. Standing behind
him the captain drew pistol and
said "Now, John, up to this time
you have run from every fight. You
have disgraced yourself on all oc-
casions. Now if you stir from the
line this time l intend to shoot you
dead. | shall stand here. right be-
hind you, and if you start to run l
will certainly kill you." John heard
the captain through, and drawing
himself up to an unusual hight, re-
Piled:
"Wall, captain you may shoot me
if you like; but I'll never give any
low Lived, low-down Yankee the
privilege of doing it."
At Murfreesboro a conferdrate
soldier was rushing to the rear with
all the speed he could command. An
officer hailed him and sneeringly in
quired why he was running so fast
away from the Yankees. The soldier
without stopping, yelled back "Be.
cause l can't fly"
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-09-24

Crimsonbeak (making night of
it)-'D' you (hic) lodge transhen's
(hic) here ?" Landlady-"Yes, but
we're all full tonight" Crimsonbeak
--"Zash all ri, som New Haven
News.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-09-24

"Young man." said the temperance
reformer, solemnly, "avoid whisky
and water, it is pernicious mixture" F"
II do" said the young man, "espe-
cially the water. EPOCH.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-09-24

Dem close oh yohn looks putty new,
how dye git 'em
BY de yahd, same's an one else.
Humph Spose you means de back
yahd, doan yer ?-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-09-24

Literary aspirant Gin his appeal to
editor)-I have written poems, stories
and sketches for leading periodicals.
Editor-In which leading periodical
have your articles appeared. do not
remember seeing your name in any.
They never appeared but that was
not nay fault. l wrote them all the
same.-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-09-24

Somebody has said that a "miss is
as good as mile," and the New York
Herald comments: eyes, and good
deal better. You cant hug mile
Can't, eh' A Norristown young man
who was out driving with his best girl
the other night hugged twelve miles
out of possible dozen.--Norristown
Herald.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-09-24

Never gives out. They tell me your
wife has an excellent temper
Yes, it never fails her.-New York
Herald.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-09-24

A natural want. swell, what do
you want ?" asked the aeronaut of his
assistant, who had begun to whimper.
"I want the earth" walled the young
man.-Terre Haute Express.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-09-24
0. |. PARTRIDGE.
Real Estate Agent

Rooms 4, 5, Dawson Block.
Win take charge Of estates for residents and nom
residents. collect rents pay taxes place insurance
obtain abstracts Of title, etc.
Office hours-10 to 10 A. NJ, 4 to 6P.M.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-09-24

Teacher in etymology-Give the
derivation of the word restaurant"
Hungry boy-Res, thing; taurus,
a bull-a bully thing.-Philadelphia
Record.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-09-24

Room for doubt. Whitney House
(pointing to young Clarence Verisopht
and his girl)-Two souls with but a
single thought.
Chauncy Lake (cynically)-Which
has it s-Westboro Tribune.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-09-24
WIT AND HUMOR.

Russia wants peace" says an ex'
change. Right; but it is some one
else's piece that she wants.-Light.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-09-24

Young Mrs. Tucker says that if the
Lodge bill has anything in it to pre-
vent Charley's doing so much more
than his share of sitting up with sick
friends she certainly hopes it will pass.
Washington Post.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-09-24

She (after marriage)-You told me
that l was your first love, but l have
found a whole trunk full of letters
from all sorts of girls, just bursting
with tenderness.
He'll said you were the first
ever loved. | didn't say you were the
only one who ever loved mex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-09-24

Preaching VS.. practice. Snake ed
itor-What are you writing?
Sanitary editor-An article ON the
evil Effects of Tobacco" Give me
match This pipe of mines forever
going out.-Munsey's Weekly.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-09-24
MICHIGAN CENTRAL
"The Niagara Falls Route"
Time Card in Effect.

Daily. Daily except Sunday. Parlor car on
day trains and sleeping cars on night trains.
j. WHITING, Ticket Agent.
O.W. RUGGLES. G. p. & T. Agt.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-09-24

He (doubtfully)-There is a---littlt
freckle on your cheek, don't you know
IL have heard that freckles can be
removed by kissing.
She-Oh, that is fraud. Cousin
Tom and l have experimental on that
all summer.-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-09-24

Mr.. Blimber (alarmed)-My dear
what is the matter?
Mrs. Blimber (sobbing)-That in.
sulting old photographer sent back
word with my crayon: 1.-THE original
of this portrait is carefully preserved y
The hateful thing.-Boston Pilot.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-09-24

An eventful deal. Speaking OF
poker hands," said young Pecan, OF
Texas, II once played in a three-cor-
nered game in which one man held
five aces and the other man a six.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-09-24

"And your
"And / held an inquest" Jos
eph News.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-09-24

Proceeding to business. "My DEAR u
said the caller, with a winning smile,
to the little girl who occupied the
study while her father, the eminent
literary man, was at dinner, II sup
pose you assist your papa by entertain
ing the bores p
"Yes, sir" replied the little girl
gravely, "please be seated. Chicago
Tribune.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-09-24

Police magistrate-Did you see the
beginning of this trouble
Witness-Yes, sir; l saw the very
commencement. 1t was about two
years ago.
Two years ago?
Yes, sir. The parson said, "Wilt
thou have this man to be thy welded
husband ." and she said, II will."--
London Star.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-09-24

"You see" said Collingsby, "the ship
was saved this way: Miss Redding.
ton and ! were standing on deck when
we struck the iceberg. l didn't know
her very well, but when the boat
struck she was thrown violently into
my arms"
"Very exciting" remarked Polings-
by, "but how did that save the shipY'
"Why, you see, it broke the ice, |"
replied Collingsby.--Elmira Gazette.
Sharp County record., 1890-01-30

An Ohio Veteran has written to the
National Democrat to say that thou.
sands Of the three year men-the
men who did the Federal fighting in
the late war-have left and are leav.
ing the G, A. R. never to return, and
that the order at present Is composed
chiefly of 100 day men and those
who enlisted near the close of the
war for big bounty, and whose only
object now Is to obtain big pensions
and to get control of the government,
as the Pretoran Guards of old Rome
did. He thinks that the Grand
Army is a standing and growing
threat to republican institutions.
Sharp County record., 1890-01-30

One night recently at st. Paul
says the Pioneer Press, a ball was
given here and during its progress
one of the city bellies dropped off a
garter which was soon discovered
lying on the floor. One time a King
of England, in similar circumstan~
ces, stopped and picked up the Coun
tess of Sailbury's garter, and not on y
restored it to her, politely and gal
lantly, but made it the badge of En-
glands highest order of nobility.
But the st. Paul beaux SHE'D around
this one, and stared at it as if it had
been a snake, until at last the hos
tess sent a servant with dust-pan
and removed the mysterious article.
Thus we degenerate.
Sharp County record., 1890-01-30
Occasionally an ArkanaSs repub.

Occasionally an Arkanass repub-
lican journal of the Powell Clayton
variety forgets its mission and tells
the truth. Then it says Ar&nsas is
prosperlng, and, is one of the most
desirable states for homeseekers, But
on returning to its steady pursuit as
professional slanderer, it declares
that as result of democratic rule,
and the course of The Gazette, the
state is going backward, and nobody
can be induced to come here and live.
Gazette,
Their bowling amounts to napght.
1t is fact that since Clayton Garl>
Lee, Norwood Dc Co. began writing
letters to the northern press two
years ago, the state has advanced
and prospered as it never did btiore,
and more northern capital has been
invested in Arkansas during that
time than for ten years past. Let
them resume the correspondence. 1t
will be good for the state.-l xar-
kama Democrat.
Sharp County record., 1890-01-30

On the 23d, in the United States
senate, Senator ingalls, of Kansas,
In a lengthy speech, heaped abuse
upon the south, taking for his theme
the colored mans happiness and his
failure of recognition in the south
ern states. In the course of his
remarks he indirectly advocated the
torch and meat-ax resistance in>
stead of submission by the blacks
The south, abused and maligned, is
looked upon by the Ingalls, brand
as the land of the "vanquished," 4"
whose people should be compelled
by Federal bayonets to allow the
ignorant African to supersede his
old master and take possession of
the southern states in toto, letting
the order of ante bellnm days be
reversed. This class OF ranters do
the colored people of the south more
hurt in an hours harangue than is
done them In a whole decade by the
"vanqulshed" buldozers Mr.. ingalls,
sees fit to hold up for northern con.
tempt.
Sharp County record., 1890-01-30
REMARKABLE RESCUE.

Mrs, Michael Curtain, Plainfeld, H.,
makes the statement that she caught cold,
which settled on her lungs; she was treat
ed for a month by her family physician
but grew worse. He told her she was a
hopeless victim of consumption and that
no medicine could cure her, Her drug
gist suggested DR.. Kings New Discovery
for Consumption; she bought bottle and
to her great delight found herself bene6t
ed from FIRST dose, She continued its use
and after taking ten bottles, found herseIJ
SOUND ang well, now does her own house
work and is as we'll as she ever was
Free trial bottles of this Great Discovery
at J. R. Metcalf's drug store, large bottles,
5O1. and. 81 W.
Sharp County record., 1890-01-30

Some men try advertising as an
Indian tries feathers. He took one
feather laid it on board, and slept
on it all night. In the morning he
remarked: "Whiteman say feathers
heap soft; whiteman darn fool"
Some business (?) men invest a omar.
ter or fifty cents in an advertisement
and then because they do not at once
realize great increase in business
they declare advertising does not pay.
-Ex.
Sharp County record., 1890-01-30
To See the Wind Blow.

Take a polished metal surface of
two feet or more, with a str ilght
edge; a large handsaw will answer
the purpose. Take windy day for
the experiment, whether hot or cold,
clear or cloudy; only let it notbe in
murky, rainy weather. Hold your
metal surface at right angles to the
direction of the wind. e., if the
wind is north hold your surface east
and west, but instead of holding 1t
vertically, incline it about forty two
degrees to the horizon, so thai the
wind, striking, glances and flows
over the edge, as the water flows
over a dam. Now sight carefully
along the edge some minutes at a
sharply defined object, and yon will
see the wind pouring over the e1ge
in graceful curves. Make yoe, Oh
servatlons carefully and you'Fwlll
hardly ever fail in the experiment;
the results are even better if the
sun is obscured.
Sharp County record., 1890-01-30

The recent snowfall in the far
west has been almost unprecedented.
Trains have been blockaded and
hundreds of passengers exposed to
hunger and cold for days, awaiting
the work of shovels and snowplows.
Traffic is impeded all over the north>
west.
The snow blockade has be en- mov-
ed since the above writing and trains
are now running through on time.
Sharp County record., 1890-01-30

The executive committee of the
Arkansas Press Association met IN
Little Rock last Monday to decide
where the annual meeting In May
shall be held, and to prepare a pros
gram of exercises for presentation.
Hot Springs seems to be the most
popular place yet proposed for the
meeting.
Sharp County record., 1890-01-30

1t is said Kansas is receiving a
large number of coIored exodusters
from the South. That is decidedly
III .!.o State foi tihgn, ana it is to be
hoped the colored people will flock
there so numerousIy that it will be
necessary to turn on the electric light
at HIGH noon so the white folks can
see to move about.-Gazette.
Sharp County record., 1890-01-30
A ch,Id,s nves those we'll clear of .

A chlld's eyes, those well clear of
undefled thought. --what on earth
can be more beautiful? Full of hope,
love and curiosity, they meet your
own. In prayer, how earnest; in
joy, how sparkling; in sympathy,
how tender! The man who never
tried the companlonship of little
child has carelessly passed by one of
the great pleasures of life, as one
passes a rare flower without pluck
ing it or knowing its value.
Sharp County record., 1890-01-30

The campaign of the present year
will soon be opened and candidates
will be coming to the front with
their gentle reminders; men and SUBJ
iects will be discussed, and an inter"
esting wear to wide-awake citizens
is expected. Take the RECORD and
keep posted.