Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1890-02-13

ttoag aha AAaJo A&As AoAh W y aeAstks
lasts.
About year ago. writes Will l..
Baker. in the Kansas City Referee. an
evening paper discovered. orr thought
ii had discovered which amounted "
the same thing as far as WIS concern
ed. some sensational rotteness in the
management of the State Asylum for
the Insane at Fulton, Mo. The un-
earthing of this much desired mares
nest was plainly difficult One cannot
break into au insane asylum. inspect
the food. interview the lunatlcs and
look over the books without mA- ting
with embarrassing obstacles. so it was
come temporarily insane and get in
through the usual channels and then
trust I'd luck. l was selected. perhaps,
N some of my friends have humorous
ly suggested. for the reason that l
would have the least trouble, or none
mt all in playing the part. but this is
immaterial. TO cut it. short, one bright
winter day passed through the pretty
little seat of Galloway county and into
the grim, iron barred home OF dethron-
cd reason.
In the corridor to which ] was
assigned were altogether seventeen
cranks zone OF whom | WIS which"
For about three hours they gathered
around and sized me up without "a
word. and when one OF them went over
in nhnul ia f.ant nd
had II terrible epileptic lit all by him
self to which nobody paid the least at
tentioD. began TO feel blue; but after
dinner the atmosphere beg n TO ci ear
and my odd companions commenced to
thaw. Que OF tho sixteen. white
haired gentleman. was particularly
friendly and entertaining and taught
me number OF things in a short
time which l never knew before. He
said he had been living in the planet
Jupiter nearly all his life, although
born near Lexington, Mo-, and had
come down on earth Tor holiday visit
to his friends and get some tobacco
which was not to be obtained in
Jupiter. gave him half plug and
he opened his heart TO me. telling me
all about st. John the Baptist and the
twelve apostles who lived near his
Jupiterian residence, in fact on the
next block, and wound up by inviting
me 10 play game of billiards with
him.
OF course this occasional me no
surprise After the Jupiter story |
was prepared for anything aad did not
suppose there was a billiard table
within IA mile OF us, but no dragged
me of TO the end of the hall and there
in - we'll lighted. handsomely appoint
ed little room WAS billiard table. cues,
balls and all the necessary parapher-
MALTA, OF very fair quality too IA
lunatic asylum billiard fixtures and
halls go. We played and beat him.
am not really great pl yer.
but a two cushion carom rattles
genuine lunatic and | soon had my
man under perfect control by few
lucky shots and a successful masse
that made his eyes stick out and glare
/ beat him. Then dis.
counted him and beat him again. He
trotted away with q grunt and came
back in a minute or so dragging an
other lunatlc who eyed me suspicious
ly, then nodded, picked up cue and
Jagged about six times across the table.
his ball winding up in the middle. l
made my position on the score nicely,
the table was small, there were four
balls as big rs a Chicago mans gall
and with the help OF providence / ran
twenty. My opponent wouldn't play
and throwing down his cue walked off
/ don't know where, may
be TO have a fit; at any rate did not
see him again that day.
After that l was again avoided. Ny
in lunatic DURANGO would
gather in knots and eye me askance a.
at first think they suspected was y
ringer" and as l really was sailing
under an assumed name began to feel
like one. At last they came to a con-
clusion which appeared satisfactory
and broke up for the night Next day
the conspiracy was unveiled when Il
chailenge arrived from an adjacent
hall and was requested to 60 over and
do up" their champion. vert. /
saw, l conquered. My third shot was
O draw, a cushion carom that cannot
account for to this day and noble
scratch kiss on both reds. My antago-
mist wept bitterly, hung up his cue and
was hailed champion Lunatic
Billiard Player OF Missouri" title |
held for the ten days l remained hunt
ing the sensations; which / still hold
and am willing TO maintain against all
corners. OF course as was only a crank
in disguise some objection may DO
raised to my title but as it is the only
championship have, propose TO keep
It until a competent board OF billiard
experts (cranks OF course) take it away
from me.