The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1890-01-09
POO sAn " HOOKER AGAIN.


Especial correspondents 81 the SITTER.
Mr.. Editor For three days after the
arrival of the last number of the SITTER,
containing your scalping "Grape-vine'
dispatch, the countenances upon honest
and fun.loving citizens of Brattleboro
were ornamcnted with broad grin of
satisfaction, and even the faces of Poo
Bah Hooker and Levi and their strikers
were contorted into kind of sickly smile
iiks unto that of Bret Hart's "Heathan
Chinese," WHOSE appropriate name was
"Ah Sin The SITTER never hit the nail
squarer on the head, or found quicker
or more universal response in the public
mild.
It is whispered around (but prob
abls not true) that Hooker says that those
..Brattleboro Arabs he fell In with at
some aforementioned point on his hazy
journey home from Washington, appear
ed to him to be disgustiagly drunk; and
what's still more strange, that they were
all tuias-for he distinctly saw tco of
every one of them! Here a knotty puz-
zle for the SIFTER's ingenuity to explain.
Perhaps those same "BrattlebOro Arabs,
who are understood to be some of our
most respectable ladies and gentlemen,
may have something to say that will throw
light on this dark subject. Anyway, the
SIETER's exposure of this nefarious
"drugging" business has called out sur
prlsing amount of corroborating testi-
inony tending to show that our great Poo
Bah has long been the victim of this
wicked practice, inasmuch that the pub
lie have now almost come to believe that
this prosecuted saint seldom wanders
away from the safeguards of home with
out being bestrd by this awful "drugging"
fiend. The laws protect innocent and
unwary men from highway robbers, and
why not from this seductive demon also :?
The postoffice muddle is remarkably
quiet. Hooker has been giving out to
the faithful from week to week, for
several weeks past, that ''next week" he
was going to start "fank movement"
that would surprise the earth and arrest
the orderly movements of the planetory
system, and "Me Too's" have echoed the
awful threat. But the earth is still calm
and the planets still move in their appoint
ed order, and the terrible .'hank move
ment" does not materialize. But all this
has served to fix public attention and dis
cussi6n upon Hooker's wonderful fast
growi| modesty. Besides eagerly seek
ing and holding all the offices he can get
from hogreeve up, while the people look
on and laugh at his antics, he has sudden
ly become so pulled up with self-impor-
tance and vanity as openly to claim the
right to boss all creation. He actually
demanded that our delegation in Congress
should permit him alone to dictate the
appointment OF postmaster here, without
regard to the wishes of any or all of the
fifteen or sixteen hundred voters. And
when told his excessively modest demand
could not be conceded, he was filled with
exceeding great wrath, the result of
which would, no doubt. have been fatal
to our poor Congressman if his fierce
anger, had not just then been turned aside
by the fiend aforementioned. His arro-
gance and swell-headism are fast getting
beyond endurance. and people are begin
Mug to inquire seriously who this modern
Fallstaff is, and what he is made Of that
he should assume such braggadocia airs
and proportions. Is he entitled by his
level head, character. habits, and past
life to domineer over his fellows, and
serve as model to the rising generation?
On what solid basis does this claim of
which we have heard SO much of of late
from his personal strikers, of wonderful
executive ability" rests Has it ever
even enabled him to runany business of
his own except to speedybankruptcy? And
have his other much advertised merits
any better foundation? The people are
quietly investigating these things and will
report in due time. In an old book, which
Hooker probably knows nothing abont. is
this sentence :"Pride goeth before destruc
tion and a naughty spirit before fall 1t
would DE wise for him to ponder we'll this
ancient saying.
A friend of mine, speaking of those
things to-day, told an illustrating story
about pompous old darky called 'Uncle
Zeke," who put on consequential airs,
Hooker-ike, and claimed that he could
do more and knew more than anybody
else. Unfortunately, one day, in an un-
guar led moment, he told his followers
and admirers Gall humbugs have them)
that he could stand on nothing; and when
challenged to the proof, he climbed up
into a high tree and out TO the end of a
wide spreading limb, and then sawed of
the limb behind him "Unckle Zeke'
tells the rest of the story himself thus:
Putty soon hearn suthin drdp, and wat
yo spose twas? Why, muffin but dis yere
cuss'd old fool nigger!" And so, said
my friend, will Hooker .'hear suthin
drap' pretty soon that will remind him of
'.dis yere cuss'd old fool Niger" if he
don't furl his sails right quick. 80 mote
it be-" PEEPlNG Tom
BRATTLEBoRo, Jan. 7th, 1890.
NICARAGUA CANAL.