Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1890-12-14

| Ahs faithfully STUDIED tnelr LESSONS.
Jimmy ate his apple Immediately, and
then began to look wistfully at Tommy's
apple. Tommy was Saving" his.
Say, Tommy" said Jimmy finally, lies
play Adam and Eve, hey?n
Jaw, come off wild der chestnut was
the scornful reply. "You's would like ter
have me tempt yer wild my apple. hey?
Well, I'll fool yer"
say, o Rafferty,, that's bad fit you'y
got there. What's the matter with your
| trousers?"
"Shure, sor, an Oh forgot to go to the
tailor's when he measured me for Thin"
Despite the orders of his physician,
County Clerk Hamilton has broken loose
again.
Supervisor Tebbets told sea-serpent
story the other day and Mr.. Hamilton
could not resist.
Now that reminds me-" he said, when
Mr.. Tebbets had finished mot long ago
l went down to Whitcomb's Lake for a
little duck shoot. 1t was about O'Clock
In the morning when l started out in nv
boat for an advantageous stand, and it was
yet SO dark that ! could only see about
thity NdIuS duSdu Vi HE. L WAS 6h0nt
bait way across the lake when / heard
loud and sonorous snort or grunt behind
me. Ny hair began to raise and looked
back. but could see nothing. l padded
along, but few seconds later heard the
snort again. l looked around, and to INV
horror, saw great black head-bigger than
barrel-saiiing through the water and
coming directly toward me. am satisfied
that it was either a rhinocerous or hippo
potamus. l knew / was in for it, and
grabbed my shotgun, but to nv horror I
discovered that 1 had forgot to bring anv
cartridges along with mel l commenced
to pray, and the head drew nearer. Then
heard another snort. / looked about.
and saw another head coming from the
opposite direction. Worse, and more of i,
knew l was conner, but commenced
to get my second wind, and determined
to die game. The monsters were about
equal distances from me and only about
ten yards away. put my paddle into the
water and waited. They were now almost |
upon me-. l could feel the hot breath com. |
ing from their spacious mouths, and almost |
fancied could feel their teeth sinking into !
my flesh -"
The whole car was now in. a feverish |
state of excitement. Several ladies had |
tainted, and the gentlemen were diligently |
wiping the perspirafion from their throb. |
bling brows.
In another second 1 would have
been dead man. But my great presence
of mind saved me- Quick as a fash !
moved the paddle-the boat shot away
and the monsters collided with a sicken-
ing ker-chunk and became locked in
battle to the death. In their terrible
struggles they made the waters of the lake
fairly boil. saw my opportunity, seized
my gun, filled them both full of shot, and
they both sank from view, leaving only
great circle OF blood upon the surface of
the waters to tell the tale of their"
Hey Hold on there" interrupted Su.
perVisor Tebbets. Thought you said you
forgot all your cartridges
Mr.. Hamilton glared contemptuously at
The Supervisor.
Say" he said ferociously, who's tellin'
his story-you or II"
Smith-"Jones, I'm puzzled"
Jones-"What about?'
Smith-"Well, how is it that when Won j
shake man you don't shake his hand?"
Jones gave it up. II
1t was shortly before the wet weather set !
n that a J-street open car was speeding !,
one evening, and met the street. !
weeping machine at Twelfth street. The
Engineer of said machine was unlike other
noItals, for as the car appeared he hauled |
Up ms orooms and stopped the flying dirt
Until the car had passed. '
wei, now, that man is gentleman @
aid an elderly man who had Just arrived | t
rom the East, to visit relatives in Sacra-
nento. That's the first time,p he con- .
lnued, that l ever saw the like of that !,
one. Usually these fellows delight to
hover everybody with their flying debris. Z
tlh that's oh q ron fo nc Co. >, | i,
Explained Native Son who sat near the K
EASTERN man. you see," he said, "he s.
idn't want to do US dirt"
The local legal profession is evidently =
ecomlng very envious of Eddie DIVERS ;,
uccess as barrister.
Two of these jealous minded creatures
'ere overheard conversing on car re-
emily. They were talking about Eddie.
n that day Eddie, it seems, had lust sue. h
aeded in establishing the innocence of a ST
IAN accused of larceny in Judge Arm p
rongs Court through his eloauence and
of the law.
1T struck me as being rather strange C;
lid one of the malcontents, ''thst two .
ours after Dryers client had been liber.
led the said client was around the streets
egging of people for money enough to
ct square meal with"
Aton 81. dShcQ tu6 OluSI, |
well, don't want to make any direct Ii
larges, but it does seem to me that DIVER is
loud have allowed the poor devil to keep eI
lough for meal at the least" al
Lee Bell, the Golden Eagle night clerk, tn
,votes all of his spare time to msligniug
>lice officer Lowell. But, be it said to the
,ace guardians credit, he has RETAINED =,
ON administering the sound humping to Vi
e facetious clerk that he richly deserves.
r the sake of his reputation for peace and T
liet. W
But the latest prevarication calls for i'm
ediate action on the part of officer
DWELL.
According to this last scandalous attack
is trustworthy and vigilant officer, re- III
ntly complained of being i'll, and went to
physician for advice. Young man." the
lysician is alleged to have asked, what
your business ?" Police officer" re- /
led Mr.. Lowell. Hum it is as 1
,red. What you require, sir, is exercise"
Now, every citizen in Sacramento can -,
one will blame the injured officer for -
King the matter in his own hands.
The story of little Tommy Timple,
ven year-old prodigy, was related on the
rs the other day.
Tommy's father is q real estate dealer of VI
e usual enthusiastic kind, and Tommy j.
S listened for hours to his papa's glow
: accounts of the roseate future of Sacra-
snto, when he had a stranger in tow.
Id Tommy imbibed the inspiration from
J papa. Tommy has never been outside =
Sacramento, and although he has heard be1
world outside of this city, it is re- me me
,te and underlined region to him. exc
Several School Directors visited Tom
rs school a day or two since, and ~
mmys teacher wanted to show off,
, brilliant Hgnts IN her class. Tommy ste,
,ried off the persimmon when one of ls9
, Directors essayed to tangle him in cen
,graphy. Where is California % asked
, Director. sAll around Sacramento u