The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1890-02-22
PUNaENT PARAGRAPHS.

why is 1t that people with good im-
pulses are generally lazy Milwaukee
Journal.
Little Man (p.oudly)-"Yes, SIR,
I'm self-made man." Big Man
"What was the matter, did the material
give ut."-Time.
--''Is your new employer Christian,
Fred?" "No; I'm afraid not You see
he has to use the telephone great
deal. life.
-"Is the sick man out of tangerP
asked friend. mo-" answered his
wife, "the doctor is still visiting him."
Time.
He Qate at supper)-"I should have
been home sooner, but / have been
watching the boys playing on the
green" She-"What color did you
play on?"-Boston Herald.
-Brown-"How time flies" Jenkins
--"I am not aware of its speedy pas
sage" B.-"Then you have not note
to pay" J.-"No; hold yours" ."--Bos-
ton Herald.
Mr.. oldbeau-"Ah, my dear Miss
Southmayd, your face is the very mir
ror of truthr Miss Southmayd-"Not
when you are looking in it, sir. Bur
l1ngtOn Free Press.
-Jones-"What, Smith a rich man,
you say? Why, he didn't have a dollar
year ago." Brown-"I know that, Jones;
but he's failed three times since."-
Philadelphia Inquirer.
-Enthusiast-"Ar can never improve
on nature" Dentist" Can't eh? Don't
you think that set of false teeth made
you is an Improvement on your natural
stumps?"
A Hint to Get Out. Loafer-"How
are you? Just thought I'd drop in
while to kill time" Busy man-"Well,
we don't want any of our time killed"
Lawrence American.
MIR. Oldbeau-"Andy your husband?"
Widow-"Tn heaven these two years."
Mr.. Oldbeau-"I'm shocked at the news!
He and l used to go out together. /
never would have believed it."
old Friend-"By the way, old man,
how did your scheme of marrying so you
Thompson-"Not so we'll. You see,
that's what she married for, too."-
Terre Haute Express.
Mr.. Guzzleton eleven p. m.)-1
wish you'd give me my dry clothes,
Maria, I'm soaked through" Mrs. G..
with deep meaning)-"Ah, yes; your
breath shows you're not as dry as when
you started. Texas Siftings.
Mrs. McSwat-"B "Billiger, why is ii
you never talk of sending me to cooking
school, as you used to when we first be-
gan to keep house?" Mr.. McSwat with
a scared look)-'Lobelia, you know
enough ways of roasting me already
Chicago Tribune.
Cousin Jane--"And doesn't Peter
stay at home any night of the weekf
Why, he followed you over half the con-
tinent before you gave your consent"
Young Wife-"I know it, my dear.
Haven't you heard before of woman
marrying man to get rid of him?"-
Judge.
-Farraday finishing the reading of
his manuscript)-'End. There, Clinch-
er! Now, what do you really think of it?
Don't you think 1 ought to get it pub
lished on its own merits?" Clincher-
81 do, my boy; 'pon my word, 1 do.
They publish such awful rubbish now-a-
days"
Two ladies, during a friendly meet
ing in the street, got to quarreling about
their age, and used very strong language
toward each other. At last, as If to end
the dispute, one of them turned away
and said in very conciliatory tone of
voice: Let us not quarrel any more, 1,
at least, have not the heart to do it. /
never knew who my mother was; she
deserted me when a baby and who knows
but what you may have been that heart
less parent?"-N. Y. Ledger.