The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-01-29
BRIGHT BITS.

NEW GIRL-Theres one thing 1 don't like
about the master. He Keeps calling me, My
dear"
Mrs. Fgg-O, you mustn't mind that. It's
only habit of his. Why, he even addresses
me that way sometimes.-Te Haute Express
JoNEs-I say, Brown did you know some man
in kentucky sent oil Muggins, the temperance
crank, key of whisky:
Brown-No. Is that sos How did he take
Jones regretfury) - Straight. Washington
Star
doctor
u am a clerk on a salary of Si7 5Oper month"
Your aiiment. sir said the DOCTOR with
decision, "iS not govt. It is simply an agra
waited case of improving toenai "-ChicdQo
tribune.
HIS REPRESENTATIVE going to have that
sleeping-cHr porter arrested.
B.-Mhat for?
nm satisfied he robbed me last night"
We'll, what else do you suppose he is here
for: You surely can't have Travelled much"
TerG5 StttiHgs.
DoLLIvER-What a peculiar book reviewer
RaZze is. Did you ever notice how confused
his IDEAS seem to be-how rambling and inco-
herent?
Pompous-Yes; I've noticed it. Struck with
an ldea.) Perhaps he reads the books he re-
yiews.-Lippincott' Magazine.
MISS SOUTH CHURcH-Its as dark as Erebus,
isn't it?
Miss Laker from Chicago)-I don't know,
never rode in one. you see.
Miss South Church puzzled Never rode in
what?
Miss Laker-An Erie 'bus-TTne.
THE REV. DR.. PRIMRosE-I was delighted to
receive those cast-of garments for tine poor of
my parish. 1t shows that there is still some
hope Of your becoming a christian.
Brown-Wel. you see, the old-clothes man
offered me only SIX shillings for the lot, and |
WOUid m tbpr.n in fra III
be cheated like that.-EpOch.
FATHER-Ahai so you ran away from Sunday
school to go skating, and broke through the ice,
did you?
s6n-No, didn't. fell asleep in church and
got locked in.
Father-But how did you get so wet?
Son-That's from the tears 1 shed when
walked up.-Binghdmton Republican.
WE'RE COMING TO IT.-"Have the groceries
come in yet, John? 1t is only five minutes be-
fore dinner and the pantry empty
NO, ma am, but they re on the way-the self
raising flour, the three-quarters cooked oat-
meal the canned vegetables, Jimpson's XXX
| ready prepared coffee Eru's patent mashed
| potatoes, the twenty-second tea the self
| eating LimburgeE, and all."--4mericaIl Grocer
BRowN-You wouldn't be so extravagant if
| you knew how hard L have to work for my
| money.
| Mrs. Brown-And if you only stopped to
| think, you wouldn't say such a thing Just see
| how hard had to work TO get the bonnet you
complain about. Why, had to visit about a
hundred stores before l could find one to suit
me.-Epoch.
LITERARY PITFALL-She lover an ice)-Do
| you care for lbsen at all?
He (who has never heard of him)-Ye-es; l
| rather think do.
She Yet you speak as if you did not specially
| admire him
He Ito gain timel-O, really, you know, that
| is hardly fair
She-At least you will grant he is original
| "A Dolls House. for instance, is quite unlike
| anything else of the sort.
| He mot knowing whether it's book, picture.
or musical composit,onl Original perhaps but
| quilting his mustache) don't you think it 's-er-
| rather faulty, 900.
| She-Why, no; thought the plot strong and
| interesting.
| He (relieved at last to have caught ONO,
| yes; interesting without doubt but (loftilyl I'm
rather tired, don't you know of children s
| stories since the Fauntleroy craze.-Life.