Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1890-01-09
Mr.. AND MRS. sowsIs.

In Which His MxrsisA WnSv in Regard -
New GaFmenss Are SCI Forth.
kr. Bowser has been that way ever sinco
w were married, and suppose be viii kesD
Is up to the eud-juss Ike ali other husbands
When he brings home half dozen collars
know that . circus b about to begin, and
prepare accordingly. After supper hs goes
upstairs to Try them on. and l take sat -
the lower step. moving full well the paft
am 70 play. For q couple Of minutes al =
quise. Then I hsar the muttsr Of dtstant
thunder, followed BY IN exclamation q:
.By the great horn spoon, but Il had that
man hero I'd murder himr
About sixty seconds later his bead appsars
over the banistsr and he shouts:
"4ra BOWER. come up hre"
whats wantedr
''Coms up hersl Look q thoss collars, viii
Jour
whats the matterr
Matter, That infernal shirt maker ought
70 be scalpedi told him No. Is, and hs has
made them all No 2Or'
Nonsense, Here's the stamp ON them,
and they are all right Try one on
He buttons one on and they fit splcndidly.
Indeed, be never had such it He ipnks in
the glass. however. grows red in the fare. AID
shouts:
Look at it, m kill that man before noon
tomorrow He has done it to spite n.o!'
"Mr. Bowser. that collar is all RICH. You
never had one that set
"Rishtl Right! Look at it bunch up in the
backi See how it sets in 'front.' Observe how
it Is saving away At my ears! You want me
to look like baboon, don't your IN walk in
ON that shirt maker after breakfast t0-mor-
row morning. and If | don't slam tho buttons
o6'n him then I'm liar!'
but can't SEQ anything wrong with
them"
mo. Of course noti II they made me look
like q baked owl you couldn't see anything
out of the wayi Mrs Bowser, rvo got to
have long talk with you. There are some
things which must he settledi"
Aud next morning he puts ON one Of the
collars without word and there is never any
further fault Gnding They were fit and all
if he didn't growl and kick 1t is when his
new shirts come up that the whole nenagcrie
IS put Oh exhibition free gratis They invar;-
ably come up of Saturday night. and he
wants to put one on for Sunday wear
know what is coming. and take baby over
to mothers and give the cook Gbarty to go out
for the day lam hardly ready fer him when
the magazine explodes
Mrs. Bowseri" he<shouts over tue banis-
ter.
"WellP'
Ibid Lynch bring home my shotgun last
aightF'
"What do you want of e shotgun!"
ITO kill the internal idiot who made these
shirtsi III have his life before the sun sets
Tonight I'll murder him right before his
wife and childrenr
why. Mr. Bowseri WHAT'S tho matter
with the shirtsF'
"Matterr he yells as he jumps up and
down. holding one Of the lot at arms length,
''everythlns's the matterl My band is fifteen
inches scant, and he has niade these 90 rods
long! Look at that bosomI Look at that
yoke! III follow that man to the end of the
earth but what III have his hi,Dd!"
why, they look al. right t. me. The band
is still with starch, you know
IN stilfen that idiot with soructhin. be-
sides starch! People impose Oh NE because l
never kick, but the worm has turned at last
l suppose Ill be sent to state prison for life,
ous sAde Suou Seduu III t1o way al Wy re-
venge"
Put on another and III come up and see
what the trouble is
Ten minutes later he calls and go I'D to
find him red in the face and breathing hard.
l button the shirt in the back. pull it down
and it fits him like glove. but all of a sud-
den he gives jump. waves his hand after
the manner of Booth and exclaims:
"Yesi Ill hunt hun down and crush the
life out of him."
mir. Bowser, there's nothing wrong with
this shirt. You never had one " fit yoa
better"
Nothing wrong! Why, it feels AS if had
put Oh an old coffee sack Look at the way
it punches up in the neck. See how it Lirds
OH the shoulders. ! wouldn't be found dcad
with this shirt on
well, Us SAID before. can't sce any thing
wrong with it.
"Oh. you can'tl Anything is good enough
Tor me, suppose. Ii some fool sent me up ;
sheet iron shirt you'd think it was all right.
You can 20 downstairs
"But aren't VIC going to churchf'
Church! Don't say church to ms! I'm
going out and commit murder"
About dinner time he feels easier, and after
supper his Indignation has all passed away.
Next morning he puts Oh one of Lis shirts,
the perfect ft.-Detroit Free Press.
A Group Of StAtu,ry.