Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-10-08

To educate his limbs he rambIes,
Nor cares for OIL nor gas. nor candles.
He's simply training Tor a great event this
| fall,
And wants to come in winner when they play
football!
BUFFALO BILL seems to be drawing better
in Europe than Bill McKinley's bill.
THE Supreme Court Justices wear gowns.
When a frisky lawyer stirs them up they also
wear frowns.
| A LADY doctor attached to an Oswego train
ing school has ordered her lady pupils to stop
wearing garters. If the hosiery is not sns-
| pended the pupils will be.
WHEN a preacher wants to split his congre-
cation all he has to do is to talk politics from
the pulpit.
THE Oil Exchange nowadays is about as
| lively as graveyard at midnight.
THE Pharmacy Board is after the fellows who
| give customers arsenic instead of alum. If
they cannot prescribe they should be pro-
scribed.
WOMEN rave about the bonnet on their fuzzy
little head.
Calling it duck or dearie every minute;
But the men ignore the feathers and the rib
bons rosy red.
And just rave about the pretty face that's in 1t.
A SHIP always bows to the sea.
THE political club has taken the place of the
baseball club. The season will end in Noyem-
Der.
DON'T permit the iron and steel barons to
miss anything in Pittsburg. Here they will
find why the United States is really and truly
great,
IF the voters are to be talked to death some
of the candidates will have to attend the fun
eral.
THE gossips say that Winnie Davis will not
wed her Northern lover after all. He's in
financial trouble. He cannot win her without
money.
FASHION rules in the cut of the dresses
Few women her edicts defy.
Now girls who wear golden-hued tresses
Will not be in style till they dye.
DARKNESS can fall on a city without jarring
it.
GOOD living frequently makes very bad
livers.
A PROFESSIONAL lady who has travelled ex-
tensively, but whose home is in Philadelphia,
yesterday chatted briefly about progressive
cities. She said Philadelphia was nice city to
sleep in that Pittsburg is not pretty in It's bust
ness center, but has life, lots of it. and was
bound to keep on growing in wealth and popu-
1ation. When the dear ladies take a hand in
helping US along the old fogies may dance
attendance upon them.
HER voice is cracked and rufied,
But there's music in her toes;
Hence the first is always muffied-
But this is all she clothes.
1T is easier to hide grief than to conceal Joy.
THE lottery has been excluded from the |
mails. An election is a lottery. Perhaps this !
is the reason Mr.. Delamater is afraid to mail |
his letter of acceptance.
THE light opera stars are travelling on their
costumes and jewelry instead of their voice.
II they strike light houses their stock in trade
will have to be hypothecated.
WHEN the Chairman of the Republican
State Committee thinks old Allegheny will
be in line there's good ground for doubling the
outcome in the grand old Keystone this fall.
PEOPLE who have tears always on tap find it
easy to laugh when real trouble overtakes
them.
SICKNESS makes us peevish, health makes us
wicked, but love simply drives US crazy.
IT is to be hoped that the Supreme Court
will decide that the city has right to use the
Allegheny wharf for park purposes. If the JUS
tices wonld take a look at it they would see the
justice of the demand.
SARAH BERNHARDT has had an interview
with her hardresser and the French Cleopatra
will wear ebon-hued locks. There will be lots
of dye in the snaky play.
THE sun seems to have gone so far south this
time as to be clear out of sight
THE Supreme Court acts with great decision.
IF we had implicit faith in each other the
of life would neither be measured
nor weighed.
EMERY will soon explain the K. Y. a. puzzle.
This is what he should do If he satisfactorily
uncovers the mystery the Delamater orators
will realize what it is to fool with buzz saw.
UNCLE JERRY RUsK is making some sweep
ing political predictions. He IS probably pIac-
ticing before tackling the weather. What
Terry doesn't know about practical politics
would fill a volume of Congressional Records.
A SINNER on earth may be a saint in heaven,
provided he gets aboard in time.
WILLIE wINKLE.