The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1890-08-21
BILL, ARPS PHILOSOPHY.
.lMnt (1Ns,i.utioN.

The boycott and the alliance, and the pri-
mary election, and the elephant, but our
cook has quit, aEd that what's the mat.
ter gt our houae She said she WAS tired,
ard rccl5an she was, and I'm tired, too,
paying so 4 non.h ard pcrIli-i!ies y
cooks month i ialr weeks exactly, and
that is right, for they do;a't understand
fractions, and 20 pay lirr every saturday
night I pay in silver and they like it,
and hope The free coinage will begin
soon / do wan. tn handle some free
money. The truth il, ! wanted her 10
quit. She i gnos! cool; and got: sro!ird
lively, but re dnh;t cook acar 50 much
when We haTc q do il ojlr-e!vss, and
things las! longer She vii. haze y rest
and we viii h&yc a rest ard then send for
her again aud renew the battle Of life. /
said would cool; breakfast, andmy wife
said -hc would cook dinner and the girls
wcu,d cool; supper and was;, dishes all
day and so got up early sud fired up
the stove and filled up the tea kettle and
put on the hominy aa usual. Ithad been
long time since / made biscuit, but 1
hadn't les, the lick, and lad 3 family
reputation for beating Dclmcaico on bis
cult. found the tin cans inlheir accus-
toned places-oEc with aolaan.l the 9th.
er with acid ~ thought: and measured
them both and mixed with the !lour
Then ! got The lard and the mill; and the
salt and made ul the dough, We'll, of
course, didn't fprget 10 was!i my hands
first Of all, and il they were net clean
they became SO by the time the dough
was made UP. Ny wife she likes biscuit
right hot from :Ac oven, and 90 dilcnt
puG them in the even until the family
were all ready and the hcef$teak was
broiled aD,: the coiIte ma,ie. I:ut those
biscuit behaved very peculiar. Instead
of rising upward they telldownward, and
got flatter and thinner ai.d ug!icr rs they
baked and Drowned, and so tasted one
to see wGat vas the matter, and il vas as
sour as vinegar. The family were all
seated u: .ba festive board awaiting tie
molnEg feast. ! asked the blessing as
usual excepting Oil The biscuit and waited
for remarks. Mrs. Arp looked at them
with curiosity all over her ccuntenanca
and as she split one opened and raised it
10 her ol(ac:Yries said "lEhy, wh#: upon
earth did oct: pui in the biscuit - i on
!o!d me that would find the cans where
they used to be, said |. She wen. to the
kitchen and when she returned said:
"Wcll, you got hold of the wrong can
aud you have ptt acid in the flour twice
and no soda at all and made up tie dough
with sour milk besides" So she got some
lighlbrcad and TOSSED il and we rot along
pretty we'll, anyhow.
My failure wes privately discussed and
! heard somebody gay our pa is get
ting too old, anyhow, ard Ills eycs are
not good and you had better look round
end hunt up another cook. If you can
find one who can cock breakfast and milk
the COW we can get along very we'll the
rest Of the day.
] never sai,l anything, but the next
morning slipped out while they were
all asleep and | got breakfast that was
breakfast, and my IIorsford biscuit we're
just elegant. ! was nearly ready 10 ring
the bell when the cook came. was
about to discharge her when thought Of
the COW. "lou can milk the COW" said
|, and gave her the food and The buckc!
aud as she went forwar;: she said "does
she kick? I" "No,' said "slle is very
gentle" In a few minutes looked the.
way: and she WAS sitting Oil q box on the
left side Of the COW ard rnlin@ away at
the mill; for dear life, and she locked At
me and said, II car t mill: dis here COW"
Just then old Sukey raised her hinl! leg
with jerk aad kicked her and Tie BOX
clean over ~ knowed de-: ccw was
gwjne 10 kick, said she "Did you ever
milk q COW" said /. used to mill,
sometimes when ! vas q chile" s:;i,l she.
"Aoa h&ve iorge!irn which side Of lie
ccw 10 Mill. froni, said |, and gaze her
le:ye TO '!cpar; these coasts with alacrity.
The next oHc was 4 yourg won:an, with a
red striped silk Handkerchief thu. she to.
ted around in one hand at lie table and
didn't know what to do viii. !hn other.
We had company for dinner. The girls
ha.i prepared it and had ice cream for
dessert, aud while the company was en-
joying it inside the dining room. our new
woman had helped herself outside. She
dined and left us without saying good.
bye or Offering her services rs a dish
washer. Like the cowmilker, sic was q
town raised darkey, and, of course, nc
account. If you want a working woman
who can milk and churn and cut the wood
il necessary. YOU have 20: to take an old
woman or nl.c q rn,,rtrr r,isoJ g;rI Ga,
ona from ,h,. Alli,ncn and Il sIo oar:,
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