Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1890-09-26
A Fable

iNoie - tOol! DIT tHe Top luz gnu potaloes
properly handled.
One time there was good old nan of
such meek and lowly disposition that
the people made him "a Judge. and they
brought their disputes to him to decide.
His decisions were ever Just, and the peo-
pie said:
Great is Aloud Ell Bishen; he is never
wrong"
One day a stranger came to the office of
this good man and said:
"A man owes me just debt and will
not pay"
Does he give reason?'
He gives dozen of them. He says my
bill against him is a blasted swindle and
fraud.
Then you have asked him for the du-
cats?"
Il have. and he says he'll knock my
head off if ask him again.
Then the good Judge was puzzled. He
chewed at the end of Scent pen-holder
for long time and finally asked:
Did you furnish this man food for his
came!s or robe for himself. that he Is Your
debtor?'
Not by iugfull. The bill is for job
of plumbing
Then the meek and pensive smile which
had covered the face of Aloud FL Bishen
faded away like a boy sliding over a mill
dam, and IN its place came an expression
of malignant evil.
Then you are a plumber?" he asked
the man IN a voice as cruel as a cross-cut
saw.
Il doth plumb. answered the man.
Then the wise Judge chewed up the rest
of the penholder, dug his heels into the
floor. and III low shrill whisper he in
quired:
Did you ever know a plumber to get
job done within A weeks of the promised
time?
No. sir, neved did" promptly re-
piled the plumber: but let me explain
Now, suppose you want small job done
at the house-a little soldering, a lancet
put in, or something or that kind. You
leave your order and say day after to-
morrow. | send the oldest apprentice to
your house and when he gets there he
sits down and takes a look at the Job
Then he stands up and looks at it. Then
he squints his eyes and looks at it, Then
he figures how much the house cost won
derS if there is mortgage on it, sits down
anu lttlfS Will jIt Illtu Slil lcI d SOuplc
of hours and comes back and reports. Day
after tomorrow comes. and | can send a
man up there because they are finishing
| another job which ought to have been done
d month before.
Something happens the next day and
the next and it S two weeks before | can
send a man
''Or perhaps to months wput in the wise
judge.
"Well, split the difference and call it six
weeks, replied the plumber.
- send two of tle boys up. They walk
around the job, go down cellar and up
stairs, sit down and figure on the cost of
| the front steps and go home to dinner.
| When they return they take another look
at the job, and Thomas comes to the shop
after some solder. He gets it, and then
| Henry comes after his tobacco box, and
| then Thomas comes and wants to know if
! its gas-pipe or water-pipe. They knock
| off then for the day. and about noon the
next day they get around there and dig a
| hold in the pipe to put in the faucet. The
next day they get the faucet in, and some
time during the week that job is nicely
| finished
And you charge $50 for it, exclaimed
! the enraged judge.
''Just about that figure. 0 wise Judge!
But ii isn't my fault. The oldest appren-
| tice says that he had to take out $50 feet
of the pipe, the youngest apprentice says
that he had to put in 200 feet, and be-
tween them they mixed me up, and
have to average it. 1t isn't us plumbers
its these apprentices who are 10
blame"
But don't you know they are lying TO
you?"
81 sometimes suspect them; but how it
would look for me to say unto Thomas,
Thomas. Thou art liar How that boy
would feel!'
"Don't people ever stop at your shop
and call you liar and a cormorant to
your face?"
"The-some one conner in almost every
day but they shouldn't do it. When the
Oldest apprentice says that the job Is
worth $50. and the youngest apprentice
agrees with him, have to make out my
bills accordingly desire, 0 Judge that
my debtor may be forced to pay me my
honest due"
Then the meek and pensive Aboud Ell
Bishen bobbed up and down in the chair
as he were on red hot springs. His
face grew black, his eyes became bloodshot,
and he yelled out:
Tie guard! The guard
And when two cross-eyed constables
entered in response to the yell, he con-
tinued:
Cut off the mans head, and let it be
born around the city on a staff, while the
bearer shouts
Behold, he has plumbed his last
plumb"
And when the Judgment was carried
out the people threw up their hats and
shouted:
''Aboud Ell Bishen forever We'd
like to see the chap who can plumb it over
him."
And from that day to this no plumber
has dared to charge half what a job is
worth, and ali plumber, finish a job at
the time agreed upon or perish beside it,
M. Quad.