Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1890-10-16
ONE GENT
HuMoRous nIrs.


Ted--His is a singular absence. Ned
Plural. you mean He ran Off with an
other fellows wife
Well, said the undertaken. I'm not
much of fighter. but when it comes To
boxing, can easily lay out any man.
That man is notoriously unreliable.
~Why? like tine looks of him. He
breaks his word so. How is that?"
He shutters
Alice-liow jolly it must be to be q
bachelor. Their lives are so full Of COM
fort, you know. Gertie-Comfort? Yes,
but only the crumbs.
Mother-You'd better put on a veil.
The wind will chap your face Clara
Never mind. A chap never hurts my
face. rather enjoy the sensation.
Minnie-So he kissed you, did he2
Mamie - Once. Minnie - You don't
sayl Well, the smartest man on earthis
liable to make fool of himself once.
First ] hy ;ciaa--Did old Coupons
case yield TO your treatment? Second
Physieian--It did, | treated il six
months and it yielded something like
ST. o0O
Husband. ON Wedding Tour-I want
rooms for myself and wife Hotel Clerk
Suite? Husband-Of course she is
perfectly lovely. The sweetest girl in
the world
Maud-Harry, l am afraid You don't
love me as much as you used to- Harry
Why SO, dearest? Maud-The-th these
chocolate cr-creams are m.machine
made (Sobs)
Mercy on me, George, what are you
doing?' "only wiping my pen. That's
what pen wipers are made for, isn't il ?"
"Oh, George how could you? That's my
bathing suit
Size Some one has said that the ocean
never sleeps; but am sare il looks calm
enough now to be taking nap. He
Yes, all except that part astern; that's
awake, you know.
Mrs. Nubbins-I don't like that ere
chocolate / got here yesterday. Have
you any Menier chocolate? Honest
Dealer-No madam, none meaner than
that sold you last.
The doctors are doing their best to
convince the public that ice water is
dangerous. Perhaps it is, but then so
are whisky, and toy pistols, and matri-
mony, and lots of things.
Little Roger--Why is this little town
called hamlet, Uncle John? Uncle
John-After Shakespeare's character Of
that name. Roger. He was melan-
choly man; this is melancholy place.
Zig Calf (vainly)--Get out of my way
or I'll step on you. You're nobody.
Barnyard Fowl (haughtily)--If you
could hear folks grumble when they find
veal in chicken salad, you'd change your
tune.
Showman-Ladies and gentleman,
will now proceed TO enter the cage of
this wild untamed lion. Intoxicated
Man-Thash nothing, old fel. Just you
tackle my-hic-wife's mother, and then
you can brag.
Fine night said Smith to Jones, as
they came out of the club. yes, an
swered Jones, as the clock began strik-
ing the hour of twelve, it is fine
night, but / expect it will storm when
get home
"You think there never was another
babY like yours, don't you?" said tho
cynical old doctor to the young mother
"No. doctor, replied the young mother
reproachfully, Il don't think so; know
there never was.
Young Husband Inspecting pair of
newly mended stockings)-Why, this
darn. Young Wife Gnterruptinq) )-Oh,
Charlesl Please don't swear alb ut ii.
Don't use such language. | did the best
/ knew On, boo-ho! boo-hol Young
Husband comforting the distressed)--
Why. Myrtle. love, what's the matter?
only started to say this darning was
simply superb.