The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1890-08-21
WIT AND HUMOR.
Getting up a woman's club-Raisin:
a broom. Philadelphia Times.


the too base hits.-Teras Sittings.
The best illustration of mingled
hope and fear is lazy man looking
for work.-Ashldnd Press.
1t is only when a man begins to die
tate his letters that he finds out how
poorly he can talk.-Puck.
Every beginning is difficult. except
laziness, which is the beginning of all
crimes. Fliegende Batter
what did she do when you sent her
those flowers, with your love?" Ike
turned nv love- N Y. Herald.
The course of true love never runs
smooth, and it would not be half the
fun if it would. Etmira Free Press.
Sometimes man is a Woodworking
man and then again sometimes he is
only hard workingman.-1erre Hdute
Express.
1t is better for young man to have
his trousers bag at the knees than
to have his brains bag at the ears
Boston Traveller.
Charles Lambs humor never shows
a taste of bitterness; but, then, Charles
udu Il ItS uldi Jul do oOhhSSPSh w 1880
back upon.-Puck.
At the concert-"I want to ask you
a question" Don't talk now; wait
until the concert begins. "-NeD Or
leans Times Democrat.
We'll. called on Miss Bobbett last
night and broke the ice" How un-
fortunate when ice is SO hard to re-
place."-N. !. Herald.
1t is not always proper to address
the young man behind the soda foun-
tain as doctor, even though he is liz
| zician.-Ioledo Blade.
Il saw Chappie last night He had
a head on You don't say. Was it
the same one he usually has or a real
| head?"-N. Y. Commercial.
The Enumeration Cunning back)-
"One question, more, MIR. Blank"
well, out with it." ..Are you single
or baldhead?" SomerUilte Journal.
Happiness never comes when it is
sought. 1t simply loafs lazily in the
shade. and lets people tire themselves
out hunting for it.-'Somerctlle Jonr-
nal.
When Richard III. offered to give
his kingdom for horse he might have
meant horse that would win when he
bet ON him in the races.-Phitddetphl d
Times.
Minister(to horse jockey)-''What is
your business, may | ask?" Horse
| Jockey-'I am in the service of the
American Track Society,"" = Boston
| Herald.
Mrs. Bunting-"I see that Emin
| Pasha is to have Il salary of $50, 600
year" Bunting You don't say!
What club has he signed with?"-Ihe
| B0Stontdn.
'Purfessor, what's the difference.
| anyhow, between a fiddle an a violinPh
Zee same deeferens Eat egzeest be-
! tween re veeddler an re viOlinist. y
! Harper'S Bazdr.
| First Saleslady-"Have you seen
| Mollie's new fellow. What does he
look like?" Second Saleslady-"O,
he's just a bargain counter affair, that's
| all."-Ierre Haute Express.
If people generally would only try
half as hard to secure health as they
| do to obtain wealth this would be one
of the healthiest countries on the face
of the earth.-Scranton Truth.
What do you do with your fiannels
after they have begun to shrink" Il
let 'em shrink little more and then
put em by to use for pulse-warmers
in winter. ~ hiladelphia Times.
Nephew with newspaper)- They're
having hard time trying to settle the
Hungarian Diet question" Aunt
Why don't they give them just plain
pork and ans?"-Boston Herald.
Mr. Staid-"And is Miss Gigglecag-
gle well educated?" Mrs. McFad-
Educated? should say so. Why. the
ribbons on her graduating dress alone
cost over $50. "-BoStoa Transcript.
| Mr.. Jones, hiring victoria for a
drive liz the park-'rThere. wife. we'll
| pnt the coachman inside, and you get
| up on the box with me. Well be as
fine as any of the folks. "-FIiegende
| Blatter.
| Probably the ice man has never no.
ticed the dainty little tongs that are
| furnished with boxes of confectionery.
They are neat, inexpensive, and would
be quite useful in his business. Wash
tngton Post
Briggs Is your office boy still pur-
suing his duties with the same feverish
avidity he exhibited at the start?"
Braggs-'|Not exactly. He is exhibit
ing what might be called spring
feverish ayidity now. "-1erre Haute
Express.
Father - Clara, what game was
that you were playing when l looked
in the parlor last night?" Clara
Hide and seek" Fa;hnr-"What
was the kissing for?n t'ara-''O.
tfat was the duty on the hides. Dos
J ton Herald.
Citizen-.'If You know of the APP
proach of great storms why don't you
stop them before they reach placer
Gen. Greely-''Stop them! Way, that
is impossible" Citizen-''O, no. All
I you have to do is to predict them."-
! ~ Y. San.
You shouldn't find fault with my
temper" said she. when we were
married, YOU know. you took me for
better or for worse" 'Iknow it." was
the reply '.but l had hope of strik-
ing something like general average"
| Washington Posi-.
/ Great Editor-.I see it stated that
the new electrical chair will not kill.
Detail a reporter to try it. If he es-
capes it will make the biggest kind OF
a sensation" City Editor But what
shall do if it does kill? Great Editor
'Get new reporter. IN. y. Weekly.
Il don't think you give yourself
credit for the merits you really pos
sess," said young woman to Willie
| Washington. Il have been told that
You are quite hard thinker" .fYa-a-s,'
1T has struck me that 1 think with a
great deal of difficulty Washington
Post.
They were dancing waltz together
and he did not dare propose openly.
IL am not hard to satisfy" he returned
IN ovl- IS