Sacramento daily record-union., 1890-07-20
CENSUS HUMOR.
One of the Late Enumerators
Soma of His Exnarionnas

Some of His Experiences.
A SUNDAY UNION reporte, yesterday met
Richard Dale, the lightweight census
enumerator, and asked him how he was
feeling after his recent prolonged wrestle
with census conundrums and the cranky
people whom he encounteredin in his rounds
A shade of sadness overspread his usually
pleasant countenance, as he reflected for a
moment.
Then, Frightening up again, he answered
that he was getting along as well as could
be expected, under the circumstances He
felt very proud. he said, when he got his
commission from Washington, authorizing
him to commence enumerating in - dis
trict-prouder then than he did before he
was half through, and had no desire to
seek re-appointment ten years hence. He
had thought that ii hecould have borrowed
Major Andersons military uniform it
would have given more tone to the office
but the Major declined. So he started out
with his folio book of instructions and
blanks, determined to do his full duty to
the Government and Sacramento. He told
his tale of woe thus:
AT one of the first houses l called l
asked: What is the gentleman s name ?"
Goldberg" "What is the Christian
name?" Christian What do you mean?
Why, we are Jews!'
At another house / asked, was the hus-
band born in America or Europe. Nay
ther one, sorn' Where. them" "In
Oireland"
A respectable-looking old lady said ::
PLEASE, sir, don't put US down as born in
Ireland say we were born in Dublin
6Wnof 80 hnckonl;,
fessiop, madam" "Oh, he's an idler."
"What does he do for living?" HE
drinks whisky" Months unemployed
during the past year2" Twelve months,
sir" what do you do for living?'
Take in washing to buy him his whisky"
What is your age, madam" "Sure, l
won't tell you. Them spalpeens in Wash
ington will print it, and then you'll bring
the book to Sacramento to sell. No, sir,
you can look in me face and guess how
ould l am" well, madam, then I'll put
you down as CO., No, sor, you don'tl l
am not 60" Then, FL put you down as
90" mo, sor, l am more than 90" q
put her down 45.)
came to the door and remarked: No, sir;
mamma says she don't want to buy any
books to-day"
At another house had my arm over the
gate, trying to unlatch it, when a big mast
if dog flew at me. Removing NV arm
quickly, tore my coat from shoulder to
elbow, and want Uncle Sam to send me
new coat.
What is your trade or profession?" II
am musician" What kind?" Brass"
Il put him down as "a brass musician"
This does not mean that the man is made
of brass).
l., IL ! i
call again p Yes, miss. in June, 1900"
swer any questions. You must go to my
husband, at the State Printing Office" But
she did answer the questions, just the
same.
Husband and myself were both born in
Paris. Do not put us down as born in
France"
II am L." replied the young lady. mo,
Matilda" says her mother, you was IS
last month. Don't contradict mel think
ought to know"
"Only three days old? Then l cannot
enumerate your boy; he should have been
born before June 1st
What profession?"
"We are Scientific Christian Luminaries
of the true church." 81 do not think they
will understand that at Washington, so /
will put you down as church preachers"
II intend to be very truthful. Nv true
name is Maria Arabella Matilda Sophronia
| Morse" YES, madam, I'll put you down
as NJ. A. NJ. s. Morse"
MY husbands age is 30, and / am 81
How old, then, is your son Willie?"
"Oh. he is IL" This, madam, could not
be-" Did say %? Oh, beg pardon-I
am 81"
According to one lady's age she must
have been married at 13 and her daughter
! born when she was only IA
please, Mr.. Enumerator, call again to-
morrow, as We are just sitting down to
| dinner"
! Don't put us down as belonging to
| Germany. We were both born in Aisace-
! Lorraine, and that was French when we
| were born"
| PLEASE go to my husbands store on
Front street. He will tell you all you
want to know"
| mo, madam, you must tell me here. !
have no time to go to Front street." Il got
the information.)
"If you come near my house asking
those iInpertinent questions, I'll throw q
| pot OF boiling water over you." (But she
| answered the questions, all the same.9
| Papa died last Friday"
| Too late, madam; he should have died
before June 1st to be enumerated"
| Well, must quit. / have taken up now
too much space; l could fill two or three
columns about enumerators' trials, troubles
and humor and the funny people we me-
! in our travels. But one thing / must mo-
omit: We found the genuine true McGinty
back safe from the bottom of the sea. HI
| was not drowned as reported.