The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1890-03-09

to-day will carry you out on the rocks
and the reefs of h marriage relation"
Carrying out this nautical trOpe, we
may infer that the American people
are willing to risk h chances of get
ting beached under the existing mar
riage code; at least, the warning doesn't
come with any particular force from
lecherOus cranks who were enguIfed
the other day i'm Salt Lake and last
year i'm Ogden. Still, IL this Mormon
business il SO sweet and pure and holy
as it is cracked up to be I'm h RecieW,
the salt Lake Tribune ought to let all
of us know about il in time.
cALIPH scHANpeRz TO HIS SLAVES.
The Cdiiph ~Schaaaierz Ia his rusty Stare
Demands, greeting: Peace, plenty and joy
he with thee. Rejoice and he merry, for
behold l send you important tidings,
which i do desire you to spread speedily
throughout all my household. Arise. %
beloved Bernarlz, and saddle an ass, and
carry the news to all the Cry
with a loud voice, saying: S~chanderz,
our caliph, hath been taken into the pal
ace of the sultan, and now sitteth at his
right hand i'm the councils OF the nation!
Yea, Schanderx hath got there, even as he
hath said from the beginning! For he
hath ~triumphed over the dogs of Christ
ians and put them to flight! Even now
hath he them on the run. For the sultan
hath ordered them that did dispute his
claims To lie bchcaded before the pop
lace, Arise. vc nconlc. and make "A iovful
racket! For behold. the Caliph Schan-
derz is a corking good caliph, and
90 tn he'd sober for the snoce
M scvcp .lovs. Snit upon yo,,r
l,an.ls- vc ncoplc. and wheresoevcr
We shall meet u Christian on the highway
And n IN so me that Va. nnnch him till ne
roII into the hitch and bp dead. n shall he
nleas;no i'm the ewes ~ Allah.
Thus sneak INTO the faithful. q Ber-
nardz, and inspire them SO that they make
an ALFRED uproar m the land. Gather
my slaves together. and do unto them
that which is meet and proper. Yet must
thou exercise certain discretion. For unto
the eunuch Rickardz say that 1 am gone
up into the mosque and am returning
thanks unto Allah: wherefore 1 would
that he do hkcwisc But unto such slaves
as Jacko, Halliz Boozi, Abou Ben Nam
telz and the rest of them that be of the
boys tho,, shalt say that / am now upon
my sixteenth consecutive bottle of booze,
and do desire them to emulate me; and
peradvcnture they shall s,Irpass me in the
number of bottles they shall make way
with. / shall not deem il "a demerit And
as I do weigh IL i'm my mind, care | not
wbo,ber R;cLaylz knoweth IN ar uo..
For IN. bntb served all the
p,,rposcs I required of him. and LOT have
no further use for tn. blanked fool. II he
cr;tic;seth thy actions whilst thou and the
rom, ;p,ler of INV ho,seboId of slaves do
celebrate the good fortune of their master.
thou has, my permission to instruct him
10 depart and soak the head of him. For
bchoidI am commander OF the faithful,
and let the neonle forget not il, Rickarslz
thinketh he standeth i'm with Allah. and
hath /, great null with him. but as Allah
live,h the time comcth when Allah
snatchctb Rickarlz bald-headed.
Again. % Bernardo. rejoice I say. and
GO We not home until il he morning. For
s,reIv we have done nm the Christians
u,toriv aud f,rev., R.t,rn T thanks tn
thee and ,o ali my other slaves who did
my b~;,l,iny For what 7 ,IiI command
vn,, u., cxco.h,ng ,;cLIish 10 ncrforn,.
H., 20 ali ,,;,1 60 s.vora, ,,r,s i'm thc
I'll .ou",I Onc No fail, haye ! ~ and
lei, 80 - 30, - tha n,,,. ,,;H,c,,i,
81 a,n.., a.. Lus;n.ss Ios,ro NJ
a.. ,,nro ,..,o,s,- III, :. Mi
~, Witt, - 90 = ,n,;,lo,,, % ,ho
49,. ,,n :, al h.,. T NO,
I~...n, H., H. ar.s ,ho.
I.S.m .n.." .t,.,,. IN r., H." snas.n arT
..".n.. a.. ,n,;I;.,, .,.o,, hn~. sacon
III. ',;... :, e. -. .ha,,
lily" .a."ss -.
c.n. "a u -. .s,,
.,;~Ln~.. "naIIn".
VI kbIss shthN ~ AVS