Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1890-02-01
wANTEo--A cHRlsTENER.
Grand Chance for u yc-satile Genius whi
Wants TO Become Famoua.


Wants TO Become Famous.
Among other things that amuse the
wanderer when he sets forth to 20 up
and down the earth To seek whom he may |
lecture to Is the pleasant occupation of |
looking over his list and seeing how he |
is going to get there. He Is impressed |
with the fact that, however much in. |
ventive genius the American people may |
possess In other lines, they are poverty |
stricken race when Ii comes TO names. |
West of the Rockies the people have a
comparatively easy time of 1t naming
towns and places. They have retained
quite q number of names, euphonious,
appropriate and suggestive, invented
for this learned and civilized and com
paratively enlightened people by tribes
OF savages who could neither read nor
write, but had a native genius for call
ing things by their proper names. And
when the Indian names gave out the
American people. we in that wide and
roomy land of majestic landscapes,
simplified matters by naming every
thing else after the devil. OF course.
we like a proper degree OF family
pride bat there is such thing as carry
ing the feeling to excess. Where, in the
effete East, Lover" Ia used as a handle
for every thing on land and sea, from
hop over bank four feet high to leap
over precipice higher than the clouds,
out West the devil is called up TO act as
sponsor for the grandest mountain and
for the sweetest little cascade that ever
sang it's way through messy rocks and
fern-plumed banks. However, there il
usually more or less of the devil about
cask aid, so may be that's all right.
But for the rest of it, take the country
by and large, and the same names recur
most monotonously over and over again,
not only in the different States, but in
the same State. Look at the two Da-
kotas-biggest new States in the Union,
and there wasn't sufficient originality in
the two to invent distinctive name for
either. A patch OF country half as big
as the smaller Dakota that doesn't
know enough TO name itself isn't fit to
become State. Why, the only original
portion OF their names the wild Indians
made for them. IL IL hadn't been for
the despised savages | suppose those
two States would have applied for ad-
mission into the Union as North and
South, without any surname.
And when 1t comes to naming towns,
any thing with willie" or ton" tackled
on it seems to be good enough. Or,
some old town with New" prefixed Is
looked upon as such perfectly miracu-
lous outburit OF originality and inv mt
i've genius that the man who suggests it
is liable TO be elected mayor of the wv
village And very often peopln are either
too stupid or too lazy or both to make
any change whatever in the name OF the
town. They take an old one without
altering a letter. Now, for instance,
my masters, the Redpath Bureau, in
| struct me to go to Beaver, Pa, and talk
to the people seriously about them
selves. | dive into the ''Official Rail-
way Guide and find that can take
my choice of going to Beaver in Beaver
County or Chester County or in Dauphin
County or in Huntington County. II IL
was Beaver, Wis, matters would be
somewhat simplified, because | would
merely have 10 choose between Juneau
and oconto couGties. And | am going
10 Franklin, o., by and by. | don't
know just yet whether | will go
to Franklin, Belmont County. or
Columbiana County, or Coshocton Coun-
| ty. or Warren County, but 10 some
Franklin in Ohio am bound to go If
| live long enough TO find out which
one These are merely chance ex-
amples which happen TO fall in the way
OF my pilgrimage for the coming five or
six weeks. But before the winter is
over they will be many times multi
piled. We are great people, of won
drous versatility in slang and mining
schemes. but when we come to study
our own geography we find that fire.
quently we don't know enough TO name
the town we live in, but steal the door
| plate of some more, or, 1t may be, even
less. original town. And as for New
England, our mother in learning and
scholarship and thought and invention,
| IL the Mayflower had lost her compass
coming over there wouldn't be fifty
names in all that grand old land. But
so long as North and South shall stand
and East and West endure, no baby vii
lage in New England will come into
the world like foundling, without q
ready made name; IL will have a new
name OF Its own. made for it as in the
older days the boys new trousers were
made for him-he had new pair made
out of paps old ones, and pap had new
pair made out of an old bag.-Robert J.
| Rnrdetta In Rrooklvn Eaula