The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1890-01-18
JUNGLE THOMAS"
A Tramp Who Worked tho "Gentleman''
Racket but Nearied OF 1t.

A Tramp Who Worked the gentleman
Racket but Nearied of 1t.
The city marshal Of small town in Indi
ann having informed me that he had bad
expositor" in the town lookup, and that
could see him If | 50 desired II was only nat
ural that curiosity should be- aroused. wen
over 10 find q clean shaven, respectable look
ing man in broadcloth and when we had beer
left alone, on pretense that he "wanted u
consult legal authority" he offered me q
cigar, crossed his legs. and complacently re-
marked:
"Well, the bottom has dropped out ut last
and I'm burned glad Of it, han't felt bit
happy for the last three months. Look al
mel Dye 'spose "A decent tramp would rec
opnize or have anything to do with me
/ logged out in this fashionf Regular broad
cloth, this suit is, and I've got on a regular
undershirt, same as governors wear, and reg
ular socks and linen collars Is it any won
der | hain't had good nights sleep in long
weeks, and that my liver is out of order and
my system running DOWN
you are not what you seem" observed
by way of encouragement.
"Youve hit the bulls eye, old man! Say,
it's too funny for anything when think 1t
over. Sometimes I've laughed till my sides
ached, and then again I've bin so lonesome
that it seemed as if must fly"
$50 on with the tale"
He noted the time by new silver watch,
settled himself back on the bench, and be-
gan;
Down here about three miles lives an old
maid nigh onto 50 years old. She owns the
farm, and man cousin of hers works it.
One night last spring struck the place for a
cold supper and the door was hardly open
before Martha flung her arms about my neck
and kissed and Rugged until JIM the cousin,
had to pull her of.
Mistaken IDENTITY" remarked.
Exactly Seems that they had an Uncle
Thomas off some where, and that he was sup
posed TO be rich and eccentric, and that a
fortune teller had told 'em he would come
along in disguise. They tumbled to me for
the old eccentric, and it wasn't over two
toots of the whistle before | was onto the
racket They didn't ask me any hard ques-
tions, but stuffed me full Of good things,
piled me into feather bed, kissed me good
night, and that was the beginning of down
ward career which has landed me where
am. Last night, when l struck this Jail, l
twelve weeks. If | only had my old buds
my happiness would be complete"
Ibid it take them three months to find
that you were not their Uncle Thomas"
at did. They thought | was deceiving
them about my riches, and testing them to
see if they were worthy. They bought me
this watch, clothes, cane, and lot OF other
stuff, and was fed on the fat of the land.
Gained thirty-two solid pounds to prove IT..
used to long to get back into the old buds,
and to sleep under straw stack and to steal
apples and encounter bulldogs, but had to
play my part. l knew that | had soft
thing. and prudence warned me to hang on
to it."
How did they discover your IDENTIFY
"Well, she went off to a neighbours, and
Jim was working in back lot Along came
three of the boys, and was SO glad to see
'em that Rugged each one in my arms and
then invited em into the house They had
eaten and drank their fill and gone before
heard anything drop. | told em who l was
and what a snap had, and I'll be hanged if
Jim, who had come up for water, didn't hear
it all. He posted right off to town, got the
officers, and here l am. want you to do me
q favor"
"Well"
They'll hev to turn me loose, for hain't
broken no law. want to send these clothes
and this watch back to Martha and Jim, and
want you to get me something more in keep
ing with my station-something an old tramp
will feel at home in. I've been guilty of de-
ception, but l really couldn't help myself.
It's the first time ever put on clean shirts
once week, washed my face once day, and
tried to sleep respectfully, and promise you
it shan't happen again. It's human to err,
you know"
arranged at the hotel for some old clothes
and carried them over, and as he united the
bundle ''Uncle Thomas" said:
"Most too respectable, but I'll doctor 'em a
little A thousand thanks to you. BY shis
time tomorrow I'll be ten miles away, dodg-
ing the dog at the gate and working the back
door for cold vittles. Won't it seem good!
Won't | roll up into ball and have solid
old snooze in some fence corner tomorrow
night! Thanks, again. But for your disln-
terested kindness ! might have been COM
PEELED to go out of here all dressed up, and
under false pretenses and it would have
taken me a month to convince the boys that
/ was born to the purfesh, and loved it for
itself alone New York Sun.