Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1890-05-29
WIT AND IIUMOR.

Is ~ not Qua tnat our ionuest recOis
iections should be about wasted oppor-
tunitiesp ashland Press.
How little and dried up the cheese
appears TO the rat after he is caught In
the trap. AtchiSon Globe.
The strength of women lies in their
accurate knowledge of the weaknesses
Of mon. - Somerpiic journal.
Wickwire Sc" by the way, what party
do YOU belong TOP" N. Peck-"My
wife. 7erre Haute Express.
II Is as easy to tell the truth to your
wife ms to tell n lie, but IL is not always
so expedicnt. - Boston Courier.
What makes YOU have such a
poor opinion of the medical fraternity"
Holm doctor myself Epoch.
The man who depends upon wages
will get rich sooner than the man who
depends upon wagcrs Boston Herald.
Dress shirts for Iowa and North
Dakota wear will this season be made
with hip pockets, hali-pint size. --ASh-
land Press.
Mr.. Gould's Adirondack lake is to no
stocked with trout. The suckers are to
be slowly but surely pulled out. N. !.
Commercial,
Palette Has young Daubor any
artistic abilityp" Mahlstick
I've seen him draw cork with great
success. N--LUt.
A genuine bibliophilc is n rich man
who cares great deal moro for books
than hc does for what Is In them
SomeruRle journal,
Tho Temple OF Isis was not an ico-
cream saloon us some have supposed.
Il was u sort of creme dc In creme
saloon of worship. ~ y, Commercial.
Angelina do you believe that love
lies out OF tho window when poverty
comes in at the doorp" Howard III
II does IL goes out for DIVORCE
Time.
When the poet wrote Of the "break-
ing waves he undoubtedly had in
mind the seaside resort and the grasp
ing summer hotolkecpcr. w. hedrney
Enterprise,
Josic--"Can Mr.. Hugo drive with
one hand, EthclP" Ethel No" Josie
Mot much fun driving with him
then" Ethol--"O, yea there H.
drive. Epoch.
Convict started out in life to
walk the narrow way" Tho Rev.
Primrose ''Wcllp" Convict The
world switched mo of on siding. -
Drdkc'S Magazine.
Women are proycrbially curious but
the rirl who rcts n love letter with ono
of the new stamps on the envelope
never stops to look Mt the stamp. -
SoD,erpfttc journal.
You are here for safo burglary. |
belicyeP" remarked tho prison visitor
to an inmate. Nav" replied tho
latter, IL thought IL WAS safe, but IL
""'' " ,.,', a., ,..,,, +, 4.
woman ocS,nS 70 nn' oo'Is III
man rs soon Us ne SHOWS 'na. W. ~
her' nut man heNel o va, wa.
woman mas ,'y.h'.' ~, ~, "' ""'
nc" h'''' --''"''o" ''o','
bel'e Nsuo"on's n'a1 i, w
,U's ,a's nooun ''"'1 m,. 20 ,"I 80
ious ior o"h""t mY N"'Jy ~
Dul 'hoy 'u vi '',oo,oS'o'' ''''''"''' ~"
a,
"Fido ate the canary yesterday.
''Atc the canary! what dio you do 10
hlmr we ga," n,,m aou ;",, pe epp,1,r
Po', 'n'"S a., - ID" p,.L ~
sucl s''o,s "'e'' "'"'
Ted was IL hard TO 'e'i MISS frlm
you loved herr" Ned--"Not very
Tho hard part came III mohth laler'
wneh ! na" 70 .o,, noI ~. m'' '''"''
h's'"he' "'f'' ''"""'
Father Cat foot OF stairs) "Bill,
didn't You hear me call you two hours
agoP" Bill--"1es, but ! cant seq
you, father" tather--"Weli, then,
~ come up ah" ra'So YOU 1o'''''
Dldae'
t,r,,r, 81 soupd n, emntv nock,,-
hont -J,r :" Tono .l;re,t Incl,
Wiz ia "a, anJ uon Cron, ..In
honr saIoon To,c .Th,ys moth.
lpr, | 0nd ,ne there every NIGHT.
Drake's Dia1azine.
p,ss;a, N;h;I;s, Ia ,o,v s,rvi,,
aonI,a,ar an Jini,g.cnr i, ,hi,
"' MALI, 80 I,n Got,
.,an,aJ = honnd 40 hay. h;a nj ~
oarna"c and NO. docs,,t c,ro whether
n. dncs 1, with bon,bsbells mr. biscuits.v
- WASHINGTON Post.
I,w,or hdr,wi,o WIN -nyour &C.
-, - ,,,ok o,,,.ilccr sir than Ia ran
aI % -" .'ad y S;op M Va,
10Y "PtLD ,;o, n,,;I after tha
~, ~ 49, noJ chow NJ gr;ef-
.,r;ctcn mourncrs e. CBatter.
..rho ,r,so,, rid;,g hobit for l,dies
,';,,,, ,i',,9, ,ha, ,ar oon,Io.
Nv os'ne ovohanmn WciI wa
~ ;,'s, go sm, rhc yon,lomon'a
. mJ I';, 20 ho,ioro % ,n Iot tha
iaI;"sS s,"nI ~ yonk,rs Statesman
'"o' ~ n,
~, "a t'.;,;,us hn, ra,, shonIJ
~! vi" 80 ~ GnJ ,bom on, "
A.. M w;oh",irn ..Wol, 7 sunnoso I am
mI' N"N"to pIi
Nv - ~ ~" a,,' mo no. Tsrre Haute ~,
' " v. any ''0 " "'''
P'' u,,
n " "i' wa" ,I,o Iii oJ ,IanS The street
NuG' - ~, ~ %'' s,o,,nad 10 assis, a
WIN n. ona'p,, W. III seo, 20 that was
ia',e" ma" w o,, r..,,;oJ sharner
on,s o" s'nI =, III, ia iote - Ros,
VINO was 'o'o VI
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