Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1890-10-09
WIT AND UUMOR.


appearing in company.-MiItoaa6se
Journal.
A good text for baseball sermon
Where are the ninep"-BurI,ngt0n
Free Press.
There would be no trouble in poll
.ics if the politician were let alone aud
given his way.-Scranton Truth.
=" When is the best time to cook
SumpliDg for Henry?" After you are
safely married to him.'-Socicty.
The worst thing about the woman
who says Il told you So" is that she
generally tells the truth Someruiite
Journal.
The true moral deprayity OF betting
ca hotse races is best seen 10y the man
who backs the wrong horse.-Baltimore
american.
1t seems quite natural tina. the
threads of conversation should some
times produce long yarn.-Bt'ghdnl-
tsn Republican.
1t is. melancholy fact and much to
be regretted that good people who want
only what is right often get what is
left.-D.dias NetOs.
Mrs. Wisemau-"Is your husband
a little bald?" Mrs. Hendricks Gndig-
nantly) There isn't bald nair IN
his headm-C Chatter.
The latest distinguished horse on the
turf is named Semicolon. 1t must be
rather difficult to bring him to full
uop.-Boston Herald.
Truth may lie at the bottom of
yell, but it doesn't trouble the average
fisherman. He never goes there to fish.
-foHker'S Statesman.
The average boy will make pair of
pantaloons look antiquated in day.
There il nothing new under the son.
BurtiHgloH Free Press.
The best cure for obesity is to board
for the summer at a farmhouse where
you will be treated like one of the
family. '-B0St0n gazette.
1t iss wise man who can remember
Ten days after great deed was done
that it was his wife and not himself
who did it.-.AtchiSoH Globe.
Suppose your wife ceased to love
your suggested the cynic. well, "
said the young lawyer, Il would 60
sut writ OF attachment. ~. !. sun.
Guilty-"Smithers was arrested for
running OFF with Bronsop's daughter
''EIopinS is not a crime No, but
niss-appropriation is."-Harpcr's b.
ear.
First Mate-"Well, sir, things are
going smoothly now, sir" Captain
Yes. That is because several OF
the sailors have been ironed. "-Lipptn-
colts.
We'll, did she refuse you point
blankP' No, she was very nice about
it-said | might call around in tive
years and learn her decision. ~ y.
Heraid.
He was awful, said Chappie indig-
nautly. He said if | opened my
mouth again he'd put head on me-"
why didn't you accept his offcrP'-
Figaro.
Life Insurance Agent (to man who
has angered nim) Fellow, the only
thing that saves you is the facs that |
Insured your life last week. "-FliegsMde
Bttdtcr.
Wickwire Queer, isn't it, that men
gcnel.Ily marry their opposites? Mr..
\. Pcck-"But they wouldn't il they
knew it beforehand. "-Ierre Haute
b1prcSS
Very many people who are taking
in summer bOarders are people who
have seen better days and lived better.
So have their boarders. -Ne1U Orleans
PtcayaHe.
Gazzam-''Iiere's an opera company
advertising two funny comedians.
Maddox Well that's m improves
ment on the old kind, any way
BroobLyn Life.
sots engaged to as many rs twenty fell
lows every summer" He-"Aha! A
kind of three days Grace as it we're"
Harrington Free Press.
Next Sunday, said the divine, Il
shall preach on the Eight Deadly
Sins "EightP' quered the ve>try-
man. What is the eighth" The
choir.'-N. T. Heraid
Miss Plaingirl-"I sometimes fear
that he doesn't love me; yet he kissed
me last night Miss Prettypert-
Then YOU may rest assured that he
lv,es YOU. ~ \. sun.
Harry-"Now, Jack. stand up and
teIi OR guests what you know-it
won't take YOU very long Jack q