St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-12-22
DUCKS AND BRAKES.

\ grWhat frightfully decollete anil
mali" exclaimed Miss Buddington as
she looked at the Washington
Post.
Charity covers multitude of SINS"
bilt it won't cover one plush sacque we'll
enough to make any woman think It's
sealskin.-New York Herald.
Ernestine-Whati is the one fault you
have to find with Charlie? Celestine-
None of the other girls are in love with
l him.-Munsey's Weekly.
H Mr.. Winthrop-Tell me, Jack. does it
take long to paint the portrait of lady?
| blackwell, if she's pretty it takes a
long, long time. -Bostonian.
. Artillery Lieutenant lin the way of
| coinplimenD-Ah, my dear young lady,
but your looks, your glances, go right
k home. Every ones bull's-eye.-Fl
gende Blaetter.
Watts-Wonder why theyalways call
locomotive "she?" Potts-Maybe it is
on account of the terrible noise it makes
when it tries to whistle. -Indianapolis
Journal.
Mr. De Style-My dear, l have en-
gagged box ut the opera tonight.
Mrs. DE Style-The idea! You know L
am so hoarse that | can't speak above
whisper.-New York Weekly.
alC tuCIC Stlll dCttNC NOlCduUcS Ill
eXistence?" said the pupil. "Oh, yes,
indeed,'' replied the professor absently.
by The way, are you acquainted with
my wite?'-St. Joseph News.
The reason for women turning and
looking backward when q new dress or
bonnet passes is not to criticiSe the
garments. 1t is because no modest
woman desires to look forward. -Phila-
delphia Times.
Can women be the heads of business
firms i'll this country? Yes, but there's
one position they never assume ii mar
ried." The senior member?" mo,
the silent partner" : Philadelphia
Times.
You are more than beautiful,
madam" Don't tiatter. sir-don't fiat
ter. l cannot forget that L am thirty
years old" But what are thirty years
in comparison to eternity ?"-Fliegende
Blaetter.
"What is your calling, my pretty maid 81
"a society actress: l spout tor my bread
'Then can't marry you. I'm afraid
I'm not yet divorced, kind SIR she said.
New York Herald.
Bilkins-So Goodheart, who was once
engaged to you. has married Miss
Sweetie. ell? Well, he's lucky fell
low. Mrs. Bilkins-Do you lknow Miss
Sweetie? Biikins-No, but know you.
New York Weekly.
II can't imagine why mems pockets
are so easy to get at and women'S SO
hard" he remarked. Its plain
enough" was her reply. Its sign
men have no business with a won ms
pocket. but woman has with a MANS"
Philadelphia Times.
Cora-Yes, Hettie says that Jack
made her q most impassioned declar;l-
tion-actually threw himself at her feet
Dora - Really? Refreshing change,
isn't it, when one remem 5erS how often
she's thrown herself at his head.-Life.
Maud-Clara Highly is just the luck
lest girl. Edith-She has many lovers.
Maud-Eyer so many, and she has only
one little brother, and he was brought
up in Paris, and doesn't know word of
English. New York Weekly.
aHClara," said her father, s'didn't l
tell you some time ago not to have
young Dudleigh coming here seven
nights week?" "Yes. and he doesn't
come seven nights week any longer.
Last week he was here only six nights
and two afternoons. "-NOrriStoWn Her
aid.
Lady Lecturer on Woman's Rights
| growing warm)-Where would man be
fit had not been for woman? (After
pause, and looking around the hall.) 81
repeat. where would man be ii 1t had
not been for women?' Voice From the
Gailery-Ee'd be in Paradise, ma'am.-
Jester.
sKnowing little more about these
things than you is all L bring you,
Alonzo," she whispered. Except the
dover of my deathleSSj love. You are
standing on the wrong side for the min
isser. My second made the same mis-
take" AlOnZO got around to where he
belonged and the ceremony proceeded.
Philadelphia Times.
New Servant-Please, mum, there's
strange lady down stairs, and she didn't
have no card. She took off her things
as if she intended to stay, and she
looked around the room with her nose in
the air as if things wasn't good enough
for her. an she rubbed the windder to
see If it was clean, an she peeked In
the da TX corners, an then looked at the
dust on her fingers, an shifted.
Mstress-I can't imagine who the
creature can be. My husbands mother
and sisters are in Europe.-New York
Weekly