Sturgis advertiser. (Sturgis, Dakota [S.D.]) 1887-1???, 1890-09-18

out.
SWELL, here we are" said the six
footer, as the train pulled up to the
depot. "Gcin' to git off here, amt
you?" the native inquired.
"Yes, thought would" replied the
traveller.
Had one O. them jimmy canes here
last SUMNER" remarked the six footer.
Jimmy cane! Do you mean hur-
ricane? ?" eagerly asked the fastener.
81 mean one O. them knock down,
pickup and slash round wind twirlers
folks sometimes calls sly coons," an
swered the native, as he waved his
hand around in manner to indicate a
circle, at the same time making a
steam escaping noise with his mouth.
"That SOP" gasped the traveller.
EYER betcher. Bowed down several
houses an raised cain ginerally."
Il am very much in dread of cy-
clones. Looks rather high and open
around here" said the fastener, as
he leaned over and looked out of the
car window. II believe I will change
my mind and go on to the next station.
Just before the train reached the
next town the conductor came in and
sat down by the traveller. The East
erner remarked something about the
high and exposed prairie.
EYES," said the conductor, lawful fine
country, though; good soil, too"
Il should think this would be the
farmers paradise ?" Intercepted the
man in search of location.
"'Tis," said the conductor. "The
country has one great drawback,
though, and that is cyclones. The
town we just left had fearful shake
up last summer. The next station had
very fatal windstorm few years
back. Killed four or five persons, de-
molished seven or eight houses-even
blew freight cars fifty feet from the
track. Tell you, twas a genuine
twister and no foolishness. You see
the town is located just under hill
and the cyclone came swooping down
upon the peaceful and unsuspecting
inhabitants like hawk on hen"
Just at this moment the train AZ
rived at the station. The traveller
went out on the rear end of the car
and survered the outlook, shook his
head, and went back into the car.
Said he guessed he wouldn't get off
there. Said it made him sick and
dizzy when he approached spot where
one of those Western shake-ups had
occurred.
A red-headed chap with a book
under his arm came aboard the car at
station No. 2. He selected a seat i'm
mediately behind the traveller and was
soon engaged in conversation with
him. During their confab the East
erner asked the red-headed fellow the
nature of his calling.
II am selling tombstones," he re-
piled, with some affectation of pride.
II represent one of the largest marble
works in the West. We make o spe-
cialty of getting up new and novel de-
signs for Eastern people who pass in
their checks-especially those who go
at the earnest solicitation of cyclones
and other atmospheric disturbances.
If you stay in this country long you
will likely need something in my line.
take great pleasure in handing you
one of my cards, and assure you our
work will prove satisfactory in every
particular"
my friend" said the traveller, edo
you really mean to tell me you have
special designs for cyclone victims ?"
That's about the size of it. Just
sold seven at the town back there; 60
ing up to the next place where I expect
to take fifteen or twenty orders before
SHUTDOWN"
What! You don't mean to say they
every had cyclone up there, do you 2"
"That's what. They had a little
sorter of circumlocution of the ele-
ments up there several years back that
just naturally knocked the socks off of
anything ever seen in this section of
the country"
"My! Oh, my! but this must be a
dreadful country to live in"
"Not so bad if you can live and dodge
'em long enough to get used to it"
"Look here" said the traveller, some
what excited, "do you know of any spot
on this railroad where there hasn't
been cyclone?"
"Betcher life!" replied the agent.
Never been any at the station above
the next"
well, then. I am not going to get
off at the next place. I'll go on to
town No. 4. 1t is great relief to find
a town that hasn't been visited by one
of those disturbances of nature"
Shortly before the train reached the
aforesaid station the brakeman, who
had dropped onto the Eastern mans
fo;1;nc oonaa into +bo M, aud aooLxl
himself near the traveller.
Il am told," said the traveller, turn
ing around so as to face the brakeman,
"that the next station has never been
visited by cyclone?"
"Naw-ah-pot yet" replied the
brakeman; "you see, this business
goes purity much by rotation. Just
like as not the very next Whit of wind
that comes along will pick up this
burg and shake the dayights out of it"
Goodness" exclaimed the East
erner.
Besides that" continued the brake
man, "the town has been burnt down
two or three times"
II wonder! Awful, awful"
"And robbed by the James boys!"
Beats the deuce" said the traveller,
what these Western town have to go
through. Your statement settles it;
/ am not going to get off here"
As the traveller met with no more
information, he accordingly got off at
town No. 5. In two hours he had
heard of three shooting scrapes, two
murders, two hangings, and o suicide.
Then he waltzed straight for the de-
pot, bought through ticket to his old
home in Massachusetts. and took the
first train going east, vowing he would
be mighty thankful if he got out of the