The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1890-10-30
THE POLE.
JOE BROWNS SLIPPERS.
"Fain would l climb, but that l fear to
fall?
If thy heart fail thee, climb not at all"

BEE GUM, COBB Co., GA, Oct 9th, 1890.
MEssRs. EDITORS The Senatorial con-
test is near at hand, and the only difficulty
is to curtail the climbers, by making the
path, which leads to the pinnacle of their
ambition, somewhat hazardous. Sitting
in church, last Sunday, my thoughts
wandered far away from the text, See how
these Christians love one another" to the
perod beyond when the hippodrome was
the arena for selt-sacrfce and many
strife. now suggest new mode for the
settlement of the coming controversy. 1t
is to 60 to the poles which is legitimate,
but better than the old time methods. 1t
has advantages over the Kangaroo sys-
| ten" and is head and shoulders ADORE
| Governor Hills modification of the same;
and is, in fact the highest which has yet
been devised The advantages are mani>
fold
LIST. 1t will restore harmony and good
feeling. End. 1t will give the prize to Linn
who merits it. 3rd 1t will bring out cons
spicuously those who have been
writing on the 'constitutionality of the
sub>treasury bill warehouse system" but
who nodestly shrink from so doing from
the fear Of being thought aspirants to the
above named slippers, until they had time
to try them on in private, ere they exhib>
tied the miraculous fit in public. The
plan propose will draw crowds of people
to Atlanta, and make the Exposition a
| grand success. II these are not strong
points, then put me down as know
nothing" or something worse.
Here is the plan. Let the sealed bids
for the Senatorship be read openly in the
presence of the Legislative body. Then
the same, land all who may desire to attend
will adjourn to thePiedmont grounds, where
there are as many poles, as there are as
pirants, will be erected. On top of each
will be placed pair of Joe Browns slip
pers. The rules for reaching the same will
be as follows: The poles must be of uni>
form height, say forty feet and to avoid
Georgia will see to the gredsing Of the
poles for instance, those who favor the
"sub-treasury warehouse scheme" will
grease the poles of those who do not ad.
vocate this method of getting into Con-
gress, and vice versa. This is simply to have
the poles well creased The advantage
! of this polling method is obvious. A con-
gresham should be a strong man, with lots
Of backbone, and, as the Rev. Sam Jones
says, with sand in his gzzard'' (and sand
in his pocket on polling day would not
come amiss). Only they who touch the
slippers with their lips will be balloted for.
mo other slippers need apply"
This plan will produce harmony and the
true farmers will be tickled to death in as
much as it will prove to them whether or
not these aspirants for high places were
really raised on the farm, as they aver and
are to the 'manoraborn' or have been only
| hiding out in the woods, and taking pri
vate lessons from the Hon. Mr.. O'Possum,
that wonderful exemplar of political ethics,
in his peculiar art OF lying low, and climb
ing high, thereby hangs tail. l would
suggest that the hour of climbing be that,
when men are supposed to be walking, as
flies do, on ceiling, held by some secret
adhesive pOcer, when the laws of attrac-
ton are in full force. | pr otest against
any aspirant being measured by vulgar
"yardstick" it smacks too much of the
city-the pole is the farmers legitimate
| measure.
Now up to this time only farmer raised
boys are in the race, and if, perchance,
some have wandered far off, and wasted
| their living they have become sick OF
feeding on husks" and are making bee
line for home, with the fond hope of secur-
ing full share of the "fatted calf" Should
any farmer candidate, by i'll luck, happen
not to own farm or whose father died
ere he repented of his prodigality he must
not allow lis political hearth to suffer by
remaining in the city, where the sweet
| chimes of the Sabbath bells are SO
discordant, monotopous and jangling to
| the ear, but be, at once, removed to some
| Eldorado of a farm where he can be sooth>
ed into convalescense, by "the wood>peck
err tapping at the hollow beach tree"
This great political upheaval has
wrought wonders for the State, and has
done more real good than any earthquake
in as much as it has proved how rich the
country is in fosiliferous remains. New
specimens are being rapidly brought to
view, and our next Congress instead OF
being clean garden, will be an inter-
esting museum. where scientists will be
be able to examine the wonderful antiqui>
ty, not ouly of the Democratic party but
the rare contributions which the state is
able to furnish.
In conclusion let me say that ere the ink
has dried on these pages, comes the start.
ling news that bridges, canals, etc, have
been discovered on the planet, Mars. We
all look With intense interest to new decjG>
opments. Who knows but what governs
ment warehouses may not soon loom up
into light and knock all opposition higher
than kite, and fully establish the feasible