The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1890-02-21
TALK OF THE DAY.

1T has become common thing to
ask Observation-Disclosures?
What is tho most neglected vcgeta-
bic? Why. Il policsman's be,it.
After IL man has IL bout on ale he
gets out on bail.-Toledo Blade.
The unpopular minister is apt to
feel as ii wrecked on lone barren allies
Natures tendency is to restore tho
balance; as IL man gets 'short' his
face gets long.
A man should not put too much trust
In his MISUNDERSTANDING when
he runs II grocery store.
Has No Quicl-..I am afraid your
retort cut Mr.. Chestnut to the quick, {"
'Impossible! lie is u Philadelphian. {"
Writing poetry is recommended as a
mental exercise. You can get ply 81 cal
exercise by attempting to read 1t 10 the
editor.
Rebellion is spreading. Even in
such conservative places rs milliners'
stores there h I've been several bolts Of
| ribbon.
A young man was fined $25 the other
day for hugging St Louis girl. That
! was u terrible punishment for an act
Of charity.
Mrs. Tynlack-"I hear your daugh-
ter has married q capital young MANI"
Mrs. Wantrocks-"fes, forty Thousand
in his own name"
Couldn't finl 'em.-.Jones Cat the
museum) -"Here's (hic) veftebrates,
I'M here's radiates: wouder where Ssh
room for inebriates9"
Landlady--"[ SEQ that two human
skeletons have been found iu solid
rock out west" Boarder-s.Yes'm IN:
two OF your old boarders. presume. :"
Would-be.suitor--"Has your sister
an eye for tho benutifui?' Small
lsrothor-.:I guess 80, for she told me
1t makes her eyes tired to look at you. !"
Beneath this stone lies old Blair,
No more he smiles or wrangles,
| ltt3 lilo WAS alway on the square,
And hence full Of rye tauxles.
A friend in neel-Postage Stamp
1--WE just been receiving u terrible
licking" Envelope .-..Well, stick
close to mo aud we'll get through all
right"
"Well, now" sid an old farmer
whem his COW had kicked him. the
milk stool and the pail in different d.
rections, ''thats tho worst fault this
cows got"
Knox-''Oh. I'm in no hurry to die.
I'm willing to wait until the Lord
wants me-" Hicks Until the Lord
wants you?" Great Scott! do you mean
TO live forever?"
A True gentleman.-..What Is your
idea o: a true geutlcm III. Yellowlyp;
"a true gentleman always laughs at
tho joke OF story and never Gays that
he heard it before"
Home Industry. -Briscoe -'rhoso
are odd looking tiles on your hearth. Z"
Dempster-'Yes; those are some of the
first loaves Of bread my wife balked III:
ter we were married"
Easily explained.-"Ilow is this,
Alfred. found this corkscrew in one
Of your pockets?" "Oh. that's ulI
right, mother. They como with those
corkscrcw suits, you know"
Faithful to the pressnt.-..What d.
you prefer, Mr.. Young blood. hru,
nettes or blondes?" asked q reignine
belle, and he replied: lit depends al
together on which I'm WITH"
rAr's soLII0euY
The shtrangest oidea In tlle wurrutd TO me-
That Is taxin' ME noodle at prisin:,
Is how can poultry man make it 10 be
That y chicken Is drisscl whip 1t isn'tl
Missed q good chanco-Kinl gentle.
man picking up boy)-"That was an
awful hard fall. my young man. Why
didn't you cry" Small boy-.I didn't
know anybody was looking"
| NJ
A Bank in a Rike's Stomach.
Iowa furnishes the biggest fish
story of the season. The fish i,
question, a wnll-eyed pike, mus
lave travelled through the falnou
COnemaugh River, in Pennsylvania