Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-02-28
PITII AND POINT.

A cat has nine lives and occasionally IL
kitten.
One swallow does not make summer,
but one cat can make Il spring.
The pig who gets into clover thinks
the sward is mighticr than the pen
Fowls cannot ne ciasscd rs gourmands,
If they do eat by the peck, PittsIu,y
Chl0nicle
A rooster doesn't vary his drinks.
Wherever he goes he takes IL cocktail.
-Biaghamtoa Republican.
The average car horse is n tender
hearted animal. He is always ready to
stop and listen to Il tale Of whoa.
Nature seems 10 have thoughtlessly ell
dowcd dogs with pants just ut the season
when they least need them. -Binghamton
Le0.ier.
"Single or othcrwise?" asked the cen
sus takcr." Both" "Oh, come now,
madam, You can't he both" eyes, I
can. I'm Il twin. "-M,o York .Sun.
His cheeks are red. his eyes are bright.
Bis heart is glad, his step is light;
Why is he 50 content with life?
He has Il good cool; for Il wife
-.Judge.
Strange that the land of all others that
contains the least verdure should be
called "Grecn"lamd. Was the discov
erer color blind or only snow blind.-
DansrHe Brlc-e.
els that dog OF yours dcad?" asked
the tramp. "Ycs.' "Thcn 1 will take
some of that sausage. Revenge is sweet.
Last year he bit me. This ycar-ah!p
-Munsey's Weekly.
Ethcl-"Wonld yon mind sitting on
my hat ,pa?" Father What under Tic
sun do you wish me 10 sit OH your hat
for?" al want to see if / can't invent Il
new style Time
Ella" whinnicd the horse, '.wc ought
to be able 10 get ont even though the
stablc-door is lacked. We hive Il key
here" "What kind of one?" brayed an
ass in the next stall. "Why, donkcy?"
-jutlge.
IIuskins-"Elhcl, aren't you afraid
your sister will tcll your mamma that
you've been sitting in my lap?" Ethel
81 guess she'd better not; know lots of
things 10 tell about her. "-LLarca,I
Lamp00n.
"A little nonsense now and then
Is relished By the best of men"
So from these lines il would appear
That those who do at nonsense sneer
And curl the lip, no matter when
Are plainly not the best of men,
-Boston Courier
Shc-"How kind that old gentleman
is! Every day he comes down School
street and presents the children with
candy" Hc-''Yes, and he gets n lib
cral commission from the dentists for do
ing it, too."-L0,croncc American
A Proof of Everything. suppose
you are ready to substantiatc any state
ment your paper makes?" said IN angry
looking caller TO the editor. .'Oh, yes;
we have the compositors prove every
thing that is set up. Washington Capi-
tai.
''Beefsteak should he eaten rare" was
the motto on Dr. Pilgarlic's wall. He
quit doctoring and opened boarding
house, and the same motto was hung up
with the addition of two letters. IT now
reads "Beefsteak should be eaten rare
1y.'-Damseiac Breeze.
''Dear me! Dear me!'' said Miss
Bostonbrcd, laying down the paper she
had been reading with shocked express
sion. Here is long and narrowing
account OF n party of cannibals who
killed and ate several American mission
aries! How very, very rude and uncul-
tured those cannibals must be?"
A Baltimore anarchist says he has in
vented sort of percussion cap, no larger
than three cent piece, which, when
filled with the new explosive extralitc and
scattered on the sidewalk, will blow ND
every man who treads on one. 1t has
never occurred TO any anarchist to invent
new kind Of working tool or to manu-
facture new brand of soap.-Detyiot
F,'ee Press
Mr.. slowboy (delighted)-"Under Ger
tain circumstances, you say, Miss
Keemoit, you wouldn't object to marry
ing me. Thank you so much. Now.
will you tell me what those circumstances
arca' Miss Kcemoit (slowly)-"Wen.
You see, Mr.. slowboy, 1 would be per-
fectly willing to marry you tiff YOU
were the very last of your sex. "-PAila-
delphia Inquirer.