Telegram-herald. ([Grand Rapids, Mich.) 18??-1892, 1890-10-04

oe<4s 81 tsxrssexx 1k@~ses - Hs$ ~
fas D~sz~ts krss Frs-s-
We sxtxset ths fol1swlax trcza TIE
l2sr lss2e q Tie Arlz1E2 klezeF.
EzKs Cor LEEx Fe~2lag ths need &
. fsw ezss rsst fron hx~lR woxk we
kied saxs<lses 10 1ias ps~k Asa week,
- rsEaAln ssoas tsn dsys soon after
saKK<x = ssrsAxer spproacASd us sAd
g2ya ~ klnE tAz- The b-oys were plaza
n1nx ssrenAde. And thzE We lad better
have = speech ressy.
Ia tkis western country some verbs
have = 3oubis meaning A 'seren4de~
may mean sweet. ser music - tA-
band. With cal from lot u jolly good
fellows, or Il may mean = visit from tAe
gang Mo are provided with rope. Dat
no music. Ia order 10 b on the safe
si3e We toos up temporary home Il s
.h,cke-. and from thence discovered that
this wss - BE a rope serenads. some Of
the BOYS from JOhns0n's ranch had do
terminsd % lynch Us as great moral
warning. bur while they were hunting
for Us around the hotel we were mean
dering through the jack pines aud mid
night darkness 70 safer quarters.
Ia one sense We don't blame the BOYS
80 much. An occasional hanging adds
zest and gusto to this western life. and
il is very rare that the victims friends
can claim that any mistake was made.
Ia another sense the boys are 10 be
blsmed for their lack Of taste. We have
Il on good authority that they meant 20
hang Us with an old mule chain There
were thirty Of them IN the crowd. We
make no bossts. but let our readers
watch for developments. Wen have
Sherids and detectives here after al least
thirty-one OK them before the week is
out, and then we shall borrow shot
gun and go on a hunt after the odd one.
SOLD A0AN-Our esteemed contem-
porary has made another dismal failure.
On Monday no came ont In double
loaded two column article ON the Whar-
ton shooting case, and tried his best TO
prove that we had an active hand in it
and were responsible for Judge John
sons death. At the coroner's inquest,
held on that same afternoon, Maj. Bliss
testified:
II was sitting at table in the Red
Cross saloon with the editor of The
Kicker. We were there 10 talk over the
Mckinley bin and to take the initiatory
steps toward establishing another Sun
day school. Judge johnson came in.
He was pretty drunk. He saw Bob
Wharton at table beyond us and
pulled his gun. The editor of The Kicker
kindly asked him TO put it up, and Of
fered him years subscription to the
/ paper to go home and take nap The
/ judge refused and pressed forward to
get a shot. Next moment Wharton
dropped him"
/ This was the truth and the whole
truth, and yet our jealous pated con-
temporary, hoping he had hold on us,
/ tried his hardest to make out that but
for us there would have been no shoot
+ ing. We used TO refer to him as tooth
less, knock kneed, bow legged, lop cared,
/ hump backed, white hvered, cross eyed
and so ON. We have a mortgage on his
whole outfit and we used to threaten to
foreclose on it. We used to meet him
| on the street and scare him into kneel-
ing down and begging our pardon. We
now let him have his own way. Some
day we will bury him in our private
graveyard-some day when he has tired
us completely out.
THEY ARE WRoNG.-Those of our cit
liens who are asserting that our late
trouble with the postmaster was caused
by jealousy of his place on our part are
doing us a grave injustice. True, we
were a candidate for postmaster, and
true also we are a mighty sight better
man for the place than the present in
cumbent, but we are not jealous.
The trouble began as soon as this man
entered the postofice. He held back our
mail and made us weary in many other
ways. We pounded him half TO death
one day and for two months he was a
model postmaster. Then he got sassy
and shot at US, and we left the bullet in
his shoulder. That lasted him until the
other day. He then got on his ear and
tried to prick US with bowie knife, and
in sheer self defense we shot off part
of his left ear and banged him with the
Sutt of the revolver 1t was in the in.
terest of the whole public. He'll be OF
deck in a week, and for the next three
months he'll work like a steer and be az
pleasant as peaches. Detroit Free Press.