The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1890-07-26
PuNcENT PARAcRAPHs.

TOO&GNl to-
Miss Hysee-ssI was encored three
times, wasn't I?' Nine. Logee-"Yes;
the company seemed to recognize that
you needed practice. Puck.
He = what did your father say
when you told him we we're engaged?"
She-sO. Augustus, You must not ask
me to repeat such language. BOSTON
Budget.
Young lady mister Conductor.
will have time to say goodbye to my
friends?" Conductor eGuess not, Miss,
this train leaves in two hours and
half. TEXAS Siftings.
-"Do you want the earth?" inquired
the naughty hotel clerk of meekly
complaining guest. NO." was the re-
ply; ''you can keep it while longer till
/, ! ask you for t'-Washington Post
| -She-"You are such solitary man,
Mr.. Silby, l should think you would get
| lonesome" He-s'O, no, enjoy being
| by myself" She Geographically = y
| don't see how you can."-Burlington
Free Press.
-Chief-"Have you got any clews%
Subordinate-ssNo but I've caught the
criminal" Chief-"Wen, you must go
out and get few clews. 1t will never
do to break established rules. you
know. r-Terre Haute Express.
Husband lat half-paat one q. m.)-
"Don't say world / know it's awful
late, but I've had hard tug Of it."
Wife-sYes, you look as II you'd had .
hard tug. How many schooners did you
tow in DISQUALIFICATION Herald
-Candor.-"Well can't you decide? 1t
never takes me more than minute to
make up nv mind?" 'I'm not surprised,
nv dear. 1t shouldn't take any one
more than q minute to make up your
mind. Life.
| III don't want to drive hard bar
gain" said the horse jockey. mo,
said the other party, leering quizzicaliy
at the sorry looking animal which the
Jockey would fain exchanges for shekeisi
"but you would have me drive very
hard bargain. Boston Transcript.
-Brightwit's boy-"Father, was there
ever any ship which carried more peo
pie than the City of PARISH" Bright
wits boys father-"Yes, my son, the
Mayfower. She carried all the ances
tors of American society. Elmira Ga
zette.
-"Yes, !" remarked Mr.. Tangle, proud
. ", 81 hatter myself I'm pretty consci
entious man. Whatever / do, do 1
with all my might" Nobody woult
have the slightest doubt of that Henry,
. replied Mrs Tangle, IF he ever hear
. you snore. Light
Mr.. Penn-ssIt amuses me to zee yo'
dressing to 60 around the corner. On
| would think you were going to wed
ding" Mrs. Penn-''I didn't spen'
; much time dressing when went to you
wedding" Mr.. Penn-''No, you weren'
| taking any chances. You knew that dc
, lays were dangerous" -Philadelphia In
quirer.
-"This Internal dust nuisance mus
) damage you great DEAL" he said t
/. the grocer, as he lodged into the door
. let great cloud roll by. 20, no, sil
Anything added to maple sugar. prunel
evaporated apples, ETC., is paid for b
!, the public at SO much per pound. al
1 not doing any kicking. "-Detroit Ere
], Press.
:, Rural minister = 'The brother
!. whose duty it is to pass the plate ~
|, not here to-day. Would you object
: taking up the collection?" Modest wo
= shiper-"I never passed the plate !
church in my life, and I'm afraid I'd }
Z rather awkward" 20, never mind abot
: that. It won't be noticed. Most of N
congregation become absorbed in the
. hymn-books about the time the plat
goes 'round..-N. Y. Weekly.