The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1890-09-05
PHlLApELPHlA's LEARNED NEWsBoY.
His Surprise at Swipsey's Appearance
Brings Out Legend About Solomon.

His Surprise at swipsey's Appearance
Brings Out a Legend About Solomon.
..Holy Cat! Git onto swipsey, will
yerp Where did yer git dem togsP
Where did yer git"
At this point in his song the learned
newsboy was interrupted by Swipsey.
Come off de roof, will yerP I amt
no guy. amt. Eff er feller gifts er
moo layout O. clo'es some blokeys wot
don't wear no'tin' but lot er holes
sewed togedder thinks dat he mus be er
museum freak"
The Fat Boy-"On de level now,
Swipsey where was de tire?'
..Freckles-..Did yer git dem off er
tree? Tell us, will yer? An I'll 60 an
pluck er suit"
The Learned One-"Solomon in all
his glory wasn't logged out like dis"
'Iouse ducks thinks yerself funny,
don't youse? Youse ducks is ez funny
ez er Chinese fun'ral, youse is. don't
care erbout no Solomon or any odder
blolze; see?" (Swipsey was evidently in
dignant.)
as sorry dat yer dom care fer Solo
mon," said the learned one. "But den,
Solomon, won't min dat. Dat is I
don tlnk he Will.
who's Solomon anyhow" asked
Swipsey, sullenly.
Solomon, my tick an benighted
frien', amt nos he was. He hez been
dead long ernou@h ter be cold. Solo
mon was er King wot was so wise dat
he he'd over er hundred wives an hand
led dem all without ever Citing pinched
an yanked before de jedge fer domes-
tic infelic'ty.''
Come ergen." CThis from Freck-
les.)
Freckles got look of whitening con-
tempt and the learned one continued:
Ter show yer how much dat blokey,
Solomon. knowed. he he'd two women
before him onct wot bot sed dat er kid
dey he'd wild dem belonged ter dem.
Solomon didn't know which was de
mudder O de kid, SO wot's he do but
hol' de kid up and t'reaten ter cut, it
inter two pieces and glib each O. de
women er half. Dat settled de biz. De
not ter cut de baby, but glib it ter de
.odder woman sooner dan kill it. Dat
was de way Solomon foun' out wot was
de real mudder. See?'
der wasn't no flies on dat, was
jGt AL LLC
mot none" assented Freckles.
'.It was him wot builded de great
temple, an dere he showed dat he was
er loo loo. In de Koran an de Chroni-
Gle O. Tabari dere's er story wot sez dat
Solomon got de genii-'
-t'Wot's de gcnii?''
The Learned One-'Dey's foxes wot
kin do anything ef yer kin fin dem an
git dem ter do it. Yer dom see 'em or
1eel 'em, but they git dere all de same;
dat is dey useter, but l amt heard er
any bein' in Philadelphy."
Not in de Dime?' asked the fat boy.
'.De Dime dom hev everything, yer
Jay" replied the learned one. '.Ez /
was er sayin', Solomon got de genii ter
build de temple. an while dey was er
buildin' it he foun' dat he was er goin'
ter croak. He knoWed dat ef de genii
got onto dis dey would quit work ez
soon cz he got pale. Solomon was er
carey bloke, he was. Dere wasn't no
bugs On him. He was dead onto the
genii, an dey couldn't play him fer no
cnump."
SwIpsey-"Wot was de matter wild
de genii goin' on er strike? Didn't dey
have no union?"
.'Swipsey," said the learned one i'm
pressively. ''since yer got dem toys
yer'er putin OH more lugs dan a oIe
woman Tid er moo set O. brass teeth"
Yes, am" (Swipsey apparently
did not agree with the other.)
$50 dat the genii'd keep on the job
wien he was er still, Solomon cut a
stick in his garden, an strikin' er posish
like this
Here the learned one assumed an at
titudc something similar to the stage
lover struck with remorse.
Swipsey-'He must er had pain eff
he looked like dat"
'.W'en he got hisself fixed right"
resumed the learned one. without MOTTO
ing Swipsey's remark. Solomon jes'
bowed his head an give up de ghost.
De body KEEP stan in in de same posish
for er whole year, an in dat time de
temple was done. Dc fellers wot seed
him stan'in' dere fought dat he was
meditatin' an wouldn' say not'in to
him. Dere was little red mouse wot
all de time was er chewin' erway on de
stick wot Solomon's stiff was er leanin'
on, an at de end O. de year de stick
was chewed so much dat it broke an de
stiff tumbled to the floor. Dat was how
dey knowed dat Solomon had been er
corpse all the time"
''Wot was the matter wild the Coro-
ner? Where did he come IMP" asked
Freckles.
HE wasn't in dis"
Swipsey - You're a good one.
You're dandy. you is"
The Learned One '.Perhaps yer
don't take dat story imp
Nav, don'.'
''Weil, yer dom have ter; see?"
"Dat's what fought. ."-Phitadelphia
Inquirer.