The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-12-28

CanSgreSSor Is hard.
The ssddest case, perhaps, is that of the
unjust steward who hires out for a mere
song-to which he has to play his own
accompaniment-to make the voyage,
and who then attempts TO piece ont his
salary by smuggling into our sold and
rather puritanical city the immcdest
photographs of those young people in
Paris who ought to be ashamed of them
selves.
1t is indeed most sorrowful and pa
thetic job, it seems TO me, to do the dis
agreeable chamberwork on board a
somewhat pitchy and rolly steamer n
week over and week back in order TO
clear $9S7 on these pictures of parties
who ought 10 be draped in something
Opaque and then shot.
How would YOU like to be a Young
man with hopes for the future. and folks
at home who felt an interest in you. TO
make the voyage as a steward, possibly
not feeling very well yourself, yet en-
loving the most robust health compared
with those under your charge; then after
all this to return TO your native land and
hop gayly into the arms of special
agent, who removes from your inside
pocket a package of French art that
would bring = blush to the brow Of
Pixies Peak:
Frequently people show most mex
cusabIe ignorance of the laws regarding
dutiable goods. and thus make then-
selves and others much unnecessary
trouble. A nabob from Venezuela
sneaked into this port some years ago
with $50 pieces Of rich jewelry concealed
about his person. He was of course
seized on suspicion and lodged in Jail.
He alarmed the government OF Vene-
zuela. Prominent officials came post
haste, with their tongues hanging ont,
to use figure of speech, and servants,
attaches and SO forth came here from
South America with their ceattails ex-
tending forth at right angles to their
persons. The nabob was brought forth
and required to give bonds in the sum
of $1,000, which he did by skinning one
bill off the top of a little roll about the
size of Jumbo's ankle.
This showed that he did not smuggle
because he had to in order TO procure
bread to eat. On further examination
it was found that the $50 pieces Of
jewelry were absolutely free all the
time, and that all this agony and ex-
pense and the ignominy and other plain
food incident to a month in jail were
entirely unca1led for This should teach
- |, Hc,o OF
is so much more healthful and econom-
ical.
Every month, think it is, there is a
sale of unclaimed goods at the custom
house. If not called for after tho ex-
piration of five years, If / am not mis-
taken, these goods are sold at auction.
1t is great fun TO watch this sale, for
each buyer gets his pig in a poke. OF
course there is a valuation written upon
it, but that may be over or under the
true valuation.
At the last sale poor man-who win
no doubt be a wealthy man before he
dies if he should work it right-bought
package Of bird skins. for taxiderming
purposes, dare say. He bought them
for fifty cents, the price for bird skins
being little depressed that day, and the
quotations closing extremely weak and
enervated. The poor man took his bird
skins home, and undid the packthread
bywhich they were secured. lie showed
them to several people, one Of whom
offered him s. for them. Then another,
who offered him $40. Finally he was
offered 800 for the fifty cent bird skins
by thorough taxidermist, and while
the owner was chewing a straw and
thinking whether or not he would take
that or wait for 500 an officer came
along and seized them.
When | was at the custom house this
man had just made the rounds Of the
whole business, from the janitor up TO
the collector, and like Mr.. O'Flaherty
who went all the way from the basement
Of the water works commission up %
the mayor with the tale that his name
was O'Flaherty; that he controlled thirty
votes; that the water pipes busted in his
cellar and killed all his hens, and that be
desired damages, was met by the mayor
with tine heart breaking interrogatory,