Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-05-02
pLEAsANTR1Es
A SHOOTING star-Buffalo Bill,

A CHESTNUT Steed-Ihe white horse.
The greatest theater bill the world
has v known was Bill Shakespeare.
"YouR scheme won't go on Wall
street." "Why not?" cit won't hold
water"
The kangaroo can't be a very indus
trious animal, as he is generally on his
last legs.
WHEN the gates a-iar it is natural
that it should be considered a proper
place for sweet-meets.
WHY is a chimney like a load of mixed
wood? Because there is generally
smoke (some oak in it.
"THEplot thickens," remarked Filkins
at the play: Well, don't stop it," said
Jenkins, Its thin enough, goodness
knows"
do YOU believe in signs?' Ger
tainly! When I see free lunch in a
window I believe that 1 can get some
thing to eat within"
Both Sorry-M Minister Ito convict)
My good man, I'm very sorry to find
you here in prison. Prisoner 1111--Yes,
sir; but you amt half SO sorry as I am.
YOUNG Lady tailor made Take my
seat, please. Old Lady (nearsighted
but grateful)-Thank you, sir. You are
the only gentleman in the car.
WHAT is Jinkinson doing now?"
He writes funny paragraphs for the
daily" 'Funny paragraphs? "Yes."
Then why doesn't he put them in the
|paper?"
DocToR-Step across the street and
get q drink of whisky. That will fix
must take? No. You must take me
along with you when you go.
MAN Ito acquaintance)-I see you had
a wedding atyour house the other night.
Acquaintance-Yes, a wooden wedding.
why, I understood your daughter
was married" "She was. Married a
stick"
OLD Mrs. Darnly is a pattern of
household economy. She says she has
made q pair of socks last fifteen years
by only knitting new feet to them
other autumn.
S~TEERsMAN during excited yacht
race)-Man overheard! Shall we stop,
or let him drown? Captain promptly ID
We must stop and pick him up. It's
against the rules to drop any ballast
during a race.
THERE Are Times When-"Talk is
cheap" ooh, is it? If you'd heard the
plumber, and the carpenter, and my
cook talking for two hours at my ex-
pense yesterday, you'd have thought it
blamed expensive"
LITTLE BoY-This paper speaks of a
young lady who has an attractive face.
Does that NEAR pretty? Papa-What
young lady is the paper talking about ?
"It's about an heiress." ut means she
isn't quite homely enough to stop a
clock"
WHY It Was Postponed.-Charley
Jones-Well, did you propose to Miss
Binks at the Tompkins' reception last
night as you intended? Bobby Smith
No; the conservatory was occupied at
was in there?" Miss Binks and Tom
Robinson"
"WHY is it that the good are not al
ways happy?" was the question which
q Sunday-school teacher in an uptown
church put to her class of boys last
Sunday. There was a dead silence for
a moment, and then a little fellow piped
out. Because they're thinkin' of the fun
they 'aint havin'.
NOT TO BE CAUGHT WITH cHAFF.
my love, you are beautiful" said he.
Beauty is but skin deep" said she.
my love is boundless for you, :" said he.
Love will not boil the pot said she.
"Ahl if you would share my lot, . sighed he.
Pray, what is the size OF your lot 2" asked she.
Love makes the world to go round, said he.
But money can do it much better, said she.