The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1890-04-09
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Many a man has made goose of him
self with single quill.
The man who married a church choir
singer says they met by chants.
Lawyers are men who work with
will. Doctors often put them in the way
of it.
The ship of state in Russia gets consid-
erable knocking about by the serf.-Bos-
ton Herald.
Where a man is under a cloud the sill
yer lining is generally on the other side.
Troy Press.
If some poets 'Iearn in suffering what
they teach in song" how they must have
suffered Time.
First Politician-''Were you ever on
the stump" Second Politician-''Eo,
but I've been on the fence several times" "
-MunSsy's Weekly.
Shoe Dealer-"How did those shoes /
sold you for your boy turn out" Gus
tomer-"They didn't turn out at all my
boy is bow-legged.-zime.
In America every man has a right to
his own opinion, but nobody who has an
opinion seems to recognize that right ex-
cept as to himself. Merchant T'rdreler.
Oh, dig a grave and bury deep
Those jokes that once were good,
With all the worn-out slangy words
We never understood.
-Yankee Blade.
Mrs. Younger-"'k can't understand
how women marry the second time. "
Miss Arabella Winters-'I can't under
stand how they marry the first time. -
Epoch.
Lady horses running away)-"Dear,
dear, dear what will become of meW
New Coachman (grimly)-''Madam, it
depends on your past life. I'm all right,
Ledger.
Mrs. decentralization can Mr.. jim
son be suffering from sunstroke this
time of the year2' McCrackle-''He
was hit by his unilial boy, Dick. -
Mmsey'S Weekly.
Hitherto Patient Boarder-"Mrs. Star
vem, l can stand having hash every day
in the week, but when on Sunday you
put raisins in it and call it mince pie
draw the line. '-Harcard LampooR.
How many men each day you'll see
OF such there is no dearth-
Whose only mission seems to be
To take up room on earth.
Washington Post.
Minnie-'I heard that you are going
to enter the lecture field" Mamie
"The idea l ap engaged to be mar
ried." Minnie-'Well, knew it was
something of the sort. - Ierre Haute
Express.
Mamma, there was the funniest look
ing artist at the kitchen door just now
asking Becky for cold victuals." Chow
do you know he was an artist, Willie?'
"He didn't have his hair combed. -
Ch'eago Tribune.
Mrs. Wickwire-"Of course have my
faults and failings, but you should be the
| last man to find them out.' Mr. Wick
wire-"Well, l suppose l am; but it is
too late for the knowledge to be of any
use to me. "-Terre HaHte Express.
Homely Old Maid with desire to
throw off the fetters of tradition)-
"Well, I'm going to give up dress-mak
ing and embrace the legal profession" "
Young Attorney (reaching for his hat)-
81 beg your pardon, but l must be
going. - Washington Star.
81 found, the other day, a drummer
who had been on the road three years and
had made only one SALE he said, as he
leaned over the cigar case. Nobody be-
| lieved him. "What did he selll' asked
the whisky drummer2 suspension
bridges. .n-Atlaata Constitution.
A tramp halted at the house of a lady
in the suburbs Of Texas city, and said
to the lady of the house: "Please give
a poor man, who is travelling and who is
away from home, trihe to pay his eX-
penses2" ''If you haven't got any money
to pay your expenses, why do you trayell
Why don't you stay home as l dol" re-
piled the astonished female Te5as