Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1890-08-21
PiTH AND POINT,

TotNEs
I'm Russia a man NAV amman "a q
witness In lawsuit against his wife-i.
ne has the nerve to do it-Ram's Horn.
"A man never becomes so wise tina,
ne can tell which is worst in this world.
.oVe without money or money without
iove--Atchison Globe.
10 the ordinary mortal. q wilted
collar tells truer tale OF the state OF
the weather than the Signal Service
thermometer does-Puck.
-Sportsman-''Why do you suppose
the stork is all neck, legs and winFs?''
Naturaiist-''Probably that he may be
utilized for clearinghouse chicken f-ic-
asse-"-Harper's Bazaar.
Want some of my hair restorer
sire" asked the barber: best in the
world 20, I've something better
we Just got divorce from my wife,
Philadelphia Times
First Actor-s'When you received
your salary what did you buy frss?''
Second Actor-..A pair of thick-soled
shoes We shall probably disband in a
week or two."-Yankee Blade.
Lady of the House Ito her Servant)
You tell me that you are going to
quit my service, and you know that I
have done almost all your work?'' Serv-
ant-'Yes: but you don't do il to suit
me"-Judy.
-Nickwire-"Nowy you have cradu-
ated, suppose you feel ready to earn
your own living?" Young Potts-''Earn
my living? If can't get living with
outearning it 1 might just as well have
stald out OF college. "-Terre Haute Ex-
press
Mrs Younghusband quitting the
fashionable stringless cap on her head)
why, really, l don't see what will
keep this bonnet on Mir. Younghus-
band shopping with her. CHANGING at
the ticket)-''The price, 1 think, dar-
ling. -Harpers Bazar
Traveller lat the ticket ofice)-'I
want a halfticket. too, for my boy"
Agent Uspiciously)-.Do you mean to
say that boy isn't over twelve?'' No
on y eleven" oh. well. all above ten
have to ray full rates ''-Golden DAYS.
All, love, should like 10 listen
10 you all night" said Clarence. as he
rose 10 60. Six months after they were
married he CHANGED to stop out fifteen
minutes after mis- hour, and he had his
desire gratife3
Husband (angriIy)-"Thisb eefis all
burned mp. Why in thunder did you
cook it so much?'' Wife-''Well.
can not think of every thing. 1 was
busy writing an article for the Ladies,
Cooking Journal, and forgot the meat
was in the oven Boston Herald.
You needn't talk about keeping
ones word" said husband to his wife
during slight misunderstanding:
when l first asked you to marry me
you declared you would't marry the best
man in the world We'll, I didn't"
snapped the wife
Mr.. Wigs (admiringlyl-s'Mrs.
Hanson looks as pretty as a picture
this afternoon Mrs. Wiggs--'That
costume is very becoming. She has
husband who likes TO see woman de-
Gently dressed. and isn't TO mean 10
pay for ~. Y. Weekly.
It's true that smokeiess powder may
Much benefit beget;
But what is needed most to-day
Is the smOkeless cigarette.
Washington Post
0-Billikin-'What's the matter, Will
kin?" Willikin-"Matter enough You
know, some time ago 1 assigned all my
property 10 my wife, to-to keep It out
of the hands of-of people l eve. you
know" Yes" well. she's taken the
money and gone off-says she won't live
with me because l swindled my credit
ors-"-N. y. Weekly.
She ordered fowl for grand din
nec and made the cook bring his pur-
chase for her inspection. She exam
ined it, tossed her head discontentediy.
and said: 1t is poor-looking thing"
''Oh, mum" said the cook. when it
is fixed I'D with trufies it will look en-
tirely different Just like when you
put on yoU- diamonds. mum-'-San Fran
cisco Wasp.