The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1890-05-08
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Ia fthilully dbptthhlnB w u llhh WIN ~
really alive, II is probably the only
place In the United States where abao'
lutely nothing happens, There Is never
anything stirring in the White House,
unless baby Mckee has o candy pull
ing, Occasionally Harrison expresses
an opinion, but really he Is 30 slow
about It that he might just as we'll send
II by express, Compared with Harrison
an Egyptian mummy IA az frlaky as q
harlequin at a masquerade,
The very atmosphere In the vicinity
ia saturated with dr0wslneas, II would
pay to bottle II up aud sell TO dentists
all over the country az q substitute FOR
chloroform. II pin drops near the
White House, people come rushing up
Pennsylvania avenue to ascertain the
cause of the unusual racket
| became 30 dreadtully bored that
determined 10 take u trip OF, 80 said
TO HarrIaon'
aMr. President, would II not be good
idea for me 10 swing around the circle
and see how the boys are coming onY
perceive several places whore the fences
need repairing right away"
"An excellent idea, Colonel Sweet II
! will be very pleasant trip for YOU
You should visit Chicago, indianapolis
Albany, Columbus, Philadelphia and
other atrongholds of the party Your
trip will be one continued ovation na
soon as you strike the Grand Army
boys, You will also gain valuable In
formation In regard to the political
situation"
After warning Treasurer Huston not
to have any more interviews with
reporters until my return, | took the
train next morning for Philadelphia.
Making due allowances for the pro-
verbal apathy of the Philadelphians
was startled At the yastneas Of the In
difference displayed Ia regard to llar-
rlsOn's denomination.
Mr.. WeldeHhelm, Of the Union
League, was not very exhaustive In his
remarks,
"Don't you think no has very able
mind ?" remarked,
"He has q variable mind; hut that's
not very able mind, not by u long
shot
Ex, Sheriff Leeds apother prominent
Republican, failed 10 perceive any bril-
liant confederation OF rainbows In the
recent elections In Ohio, Michigan, ln'
diana and various other places, "lhe
fact Is, Colonel Sweet, no said, sorrow
fully, ave have beon awfully fooled In
Harrison. He may have been born
great, but, holy smoke, how he has
shrunk since he got into the White
House"
james NcManes has always been u
red hot Republican, but his enthusiasm
for Harrison does not require being put
on Ice. lie said, winking one eye; "lt
that Indiana chump imaglnes that my
friend Quay rs going to favor another
four years. nightmare he Is mistaken,
Only yesterday Senator Quay told me
that Harrison reminded him OF the llg'
ure one on ten dollar bill; In other
words he was next TO nothing
Representative II, =, Conncll told me
copndentlally that nobody would have
Harrison II he were given away with a
pound Of tea
"Where In the name Of catnip tea are
Harrison's philadelphia frondo| |
asked excitedly.
| was referred to Mr., f. O. knight, q
prominent Union League man, who has
duck shooting box near Baltimore
and has been hunting several times
with the President, lie said he had
known Harrison 10 shoot nj u duck six
times before he found out titwas a piece
of mud on his eye glasses; nevertheless
Harrison might possibly succeed him
self In office,
A gentleman who contributed SlO,'
600 to the campaign fund last year to
elect Harrison says now that some Of
tIarrlsons appointoes would steal The
silver dollars off the eyes Of n dead
Goddess Of Liberty.
was more Joyful In escaping from
Philadelphia than was In leaving the
White House, but did not realize how |
popular the President was until ]
reached Columbus, Ohio, where the
President said / would strike the sol
dlor boys and receive an ovation,
| didn't strike them at all, They
struck me. started TO make speech |
but 40 soon as said "Comrade Harrl'
SON." / received q kick that made my |
whisp Of hair on my otherwise bare
footed head stand up like the spine of |
A fretful porcupine, Another friend
Of the Administration hit me fearful
whack on my obicular muscle with his
clutched hand and still another cripple |
raised wen on my occiput-all on nc.
count Of Harrison's position in regard |
to the service pension question.
/ succeeded In making my escape, |
but to avoid such oyations during the |
rest of my trip disguised myself with |
a false mustache while sojournlng In |
towns where the Republican element
predominated
next struck indianapolis, In prl. |
yate conversation with Governor lIo.
vey, whose guest was while recover.
ing from the ovation, he sOId "My
feelings toward Mr.. Harrison person
ally are very kind, but still think that |
there is wave Of 'd6mphoollsm' blow.
ing from the White House which Is
.,a.v dtaanVvo,ip0 IIn Ia mn nnituutnd |