Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-06-06
PLEASANT PARAGRAPHS
[Gloaned from our Excban,o,,

tGleaned from our Exchances,
Mrs. JONES says the latest th;u
gents clothes is her husband. dug ~
never home before midnight. nes
THERE is q deaf and dunk
Kansas seven feet tall. This is wh I'an 10
might call q long silence. "'a' We
MAMMA-Come, little girl. oot
for bed. Little girl-What's ill., b 'eady
mamma; we've got all the n; LOFTY,
sleep. s@
A MANS better half lays dow, o.
rules in the house, but at this soo se
she usually allows her l".sband to easoa
down the carpets. "y
An American Ignoramus.-Will;n
Who is going to be nominated for y,
position next time? Milkins-I 5 .ass
know. I've not been drinking m nya
lately, and haven't kept posted. N1ea
DYING Pugilist-Tve only ono f,n.
to ask of you. Doctor-Name il 'r WI
dear sir; it is already granted. Dv; ivy
Pugilist-See that the newspapers D Ja
say that I was in the pink of conI;
ton"
FIRST Young Lady Cat railroad q,
tion)-What time is it now, dear? Ssa
ond Young Lady docking at her watc1,
Mercy! W. must begin saying soa1
by, dear. The train will be henpo N
half an hour. II
"YoU say that you stopped at n,
Skirate Hotel ali the time YOU wers
away! Wasn't the bill pretty HIGH III
a man Of your means?" ooh, not tool
high. [ managed to jump If vi:bont|
much trouble"
SouEERs-Talk about %colorea mani
being the biggest class of waters: /
tell you it amt so. Billgus-Wall
who make up the biggest class of vail
ers? Squeers-Those who have eivp,|
their orders.
"WHAT sort of a bird is that on voul
new bonnet, dear?" "Why, its n
T oriole. What did you ask that questo1
for?" II thought it vas a snipe." z
snipe!" "Yes, judging from the bl
that came with it,"
A LESSON in Language-sWhat arl
we waiting on, Conductor?" asked !
passenger from Chicago, when the trail
9 came to a standstill. "We are waitial
on the track" replied the Conductod
I who was a Boston man.
LADY-Your references are all rigbI
. and if your cooking is really good II
: hire you. Cook-If yez have adj
- doubts about me cookin' ask Perlscd
y man Doolihan, who was on the hd
. where 1 lived with my last family.
. Nov, CHILDREN" said the good mad
3 Il have told you where the good BOY
r go and where the bad boys go. Wild
would you choose?" please, sir, 4
II rather go to the circus" answered ID
n little Harlem fellow in the back seat
e AN electrician has invented a wonda
e full watch that will tell a man when q
IS note is coming due. His watch wou|
be a great deal more remarkable. |
+, we'll as useful, if it would tell the al
where to get the money to pay the mol
k GEORGE" said Estelle, with a sni
"your glove is all ripped. You ous
q to have some one to keep them in !
pair and sew buttons on your cMl
is "You wouldn't like to-to-to be a !
e ter. to me, would you, Estelle%s]
Q, George.
N TENANT-The windows in your lol
q shut so badly that my hair blows (
q about my head. You must really ID
something done to them. Landloi1
don't see the necessity for that
s. would he much simpler for you tol
y your hair cut.
=, ANXIOUS Mother--I wish. Susan. II
- when you give a baby a bath you wo1
use the thermometer, so as to a@scert4
) whether the water is at the proper te
=, perature. Susan-Oh, don'ty you VOL
about that, ma'am; I don't need
y. 'mometers. If the little turns r
- the waters too hot; if it turns blue,
&c too cold; and that's all there is abb
,; it. ...
- "TH1s is about the time of the yea
ii said Mrs. Watts to her neighbor, "
II the fishing fever strikes my husOa1
10 If he can get out on the banks OF 81
n creek and catch two or three little M
:" cats in the course of an afternoon
"a perfectly happy" Indeed! Som
ID fond of fishing, them" Fond Of +
"a ing? Why, that man is aperfectan9
at maniac"
GIVING UP SMOKING.
IL Although he'll refuse, without doubt, 70
-, TESS,
~ No matter how hard he is pressed.
ia When a youth gives up smoking us e'
- guess
I 1t is ut some fair maiden's request.
And when he. at some future period, RESUME
The pipe. cigarette or cigar,
And more OF the "soother" than ever
T sumes-
He's nlarried-or there's been Il jar.
n Pittsburgh Dispatch.
9u She Did Not See 1t in That Light
An Arkansas professor marriea
IN beiress and got drunk on the weaa
Y 100 ltt1Tlp