Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-10-22


ANOTHER bloodless duel has been fought in
Frances They only meet on honor's field there
to kill time.
THE pocketbook feels the blow of anything
that strikes your fancy.
WHEN an actress is off with the old love and
with the new the world pays her homage.
Queer world this, to be sure.
OSCAR WILDE and Ward McAllister are shin
ing examples of the worlds tondness for hum
buggery.
OLD sLEDGE is the blacksmith's favorite
game.
CANADA is now going to put a tax on our
eggs. Tit for tat you know. Egg eaters will
have to shell out on both sides of the lakes.
THE rooster makes the barnyard laws,
The raven no law knows;
Hence roosters always crow for cause,
And the raven caws for crows.
The sinners at the mourners' bench anxiously
await the decision in the Andover case and the
verdict of the Revisionists.
IF Sullivan fails on the stage he might make
a living boxing sardines.
WARD McALLIsTER evidently believes that
society can be reached through the stomach.
His book will make the reader hungry.
Two weeks hence navigation will be open in
Salt River.
IBoLDLY asked her for her hand
Her charms my heart had smitten;
Somehow she failed to understand,
And handed me her mitten.
PEOPLE who relate facts in their native sim.
pliclty without addition or subtraction, are in
the minority in this world.
WITH hotels burning. locomotives exploding
furnaces bursting. vessels afre and trains
jumping tracks, it behooves travellers to be
fully prepared for the worst and have their
names and addresses plainly placed on their
clothing.
SOME of the ocean racers tie their knots
daily.
IT'S purely case OF hide-audseek with the
tanner.
BUSINESS likes to be disturbed by legislation
like the Mckinley bill.
THE dirtiest hands hardly denote the hardest
worker.
SOME candidates expect to get there In the
sweet buy and buy.
ONE summer night bright star fell
Into darkened room;
1t cast DER all magic spell,
1t chased away the gloom.
A new light shone in mothers eyes,
smile her face caressed.
As this sweet gift sent from the skies
Lay sleeping on her breast
Long, long ago, this bright star fell
And filed home with Joy
It's now dashng blooming SWELL
And mothers fair-haired boy.
THE tariff will stand no matter which way
the political cat jumps in Pennsylvania this
fall.
THE American pig will probably squeal in
France after all. Hunger cannot be boy
cotted.
P1rrsBURG needs new police station. The
present quarters are small, dismal and badly
turbed every time an arrest is made now This
could be remedied by putting the prison in
! back street or out-of-the-way place.
AS CHEERS are not placed in the ballot boxes
they don't count.
IT'S easier to make laws than to enforce
them. but people seem to be satisfied because
they are in force.
THE Japanese pallet is decided improvement
on the skirt dancing article. 1t is clothed in
yellow and gold and. while the garments fit
tight, they are not all composed of tights.
DIVORCES sometimes follow the fight which
takes place while naming the baby.
AN engineer has plan to turn the Capitol so
as it will face Pennsylvania avenue instead of
the Potomac. Congress will have to oil the
wheels and jack screws with gold before he will
undertake the job, however.
A PERSON mangled by railway train is
carved DIP.
Mr.. RoBERr LINCOLN prefers to have his