New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1890-11-29
THE TALK or THE DAP.

It isn't always wise TO tackle Philadelphia.
Under quiet exterior he sometimes conceals c.
pacity for destructive cpigrsm. You sec,' said
NcwYorker the other day to visiting Philadelphisn,
there is no grass orr streets That Is rather
surprising the quiet reply, for you have no end
of rich dirt your streets, In which grass wouA
flourish"
Now, there is q charming imported vase ] must
buy II at any price.
manufacture ard exceedingly chesp-only $40.
Mrs. Porkupinc-Do you mean Ut
Mrs. Porkapine1what a shamel And SO lovely,
-(American s.-afioner.
The enteEprising Editor Of I" The Arizona Howler'
offers bottle Of Kochs lymph to any who secures
three new cash subscribers for "The IIowler.7 On
which the Editor OF The Kicker makes the following
comment: THE coyote who thinks no edits T'e
Hower is a royal arch jackass. In the first place,
he couldn't tell Kochs lymph from paregorc and. in
the second place, the free and enlightened people OF
Arizona don't need any consumption that disease
being unknown in this favored REGION
II was Brcast.-aI should like TO Observe madam
said the patient b0aTder that while am very fond
OF the neck OF the fowl you are carving shall deny
the breast With this view i have had my trunk
packed and drayman Is now waiting At the dooT To-
an answer. En- Is IL breast OF heckf-thhercsi
Grocer.
The History and Political Science Association of
Cornell University Il enabled through the generosity
of one OF the university professors to offer prize OF
$50 for the best essay the subject OF Electoral
Corruption, its Causes, Extent and Remedy C. A.
Duniway, Of Ithaca. ~ Y, will furnish all ncedfal
information to those who desire to compete for the
prize
A Literary Success, Anyway.-Flrst CltIzen-Is Pro.
lessor Kochs new cure for consumption a success
second Citizcn-A success! Well. should say so
quarter Of million copies Of his pamphlet descrb,
anIH and Tho aii.le
81 600 for the advance sheets of the work.-somer-
vile Journal.
An English lady is reported doing the state OF
Texas But, inasmuch as she has recently thrashea
an impudent cbambermaid, knocked truculent Dell
boy downstairs and slapped the face OF too-deho-
cratic porter, there is room for suspicion that sue Is
doing up the State. The virilc aggressiveness OF ms
fair daughter OF Albion makes the Texas COWBOY ieci
that he is poor and puny creature.
strawber-That was a pretty good trick that was va
PLAYED on a gas company in Chicago. feliow ous
there disconnected his meter put rubber tune arona
it, and for months they didn't discover that ne hh
0ee sin t1Ts did they do with him theni
strawber-They made him one OF the directors OK
the cOmpaDy.-tLife
Speaking Of Birchal, the murderer, Professor "o'd
win Smith says: Had he, instead OF being sent 10
COLLEGE been kept steadily at work, at some useii
calling. he might have gone decently and perhaps
where. having no literary tastes he was sure not 70
study and where being idle, he was sure also to DO
dssipated was a mistake which sealed his doom.
That no bow should be sent 10 college who does not
show decided inclination to study Is lesson WHICH
RirchalI preached to us from felon's grave'
Boy OF the Observation-Disclosures yer namef
New Boy-Jim Hodge. Wots y0nnf
atom Kadger. Got any big brotiersP
"NO.n ,,,,
aYeS: Int don't know what yer a-drivin ~.
II We want to fight kin do We up In Two minutes"
iAdapting himself 10 changed condition OF tningsJ
"Let,s you an me 50 an lick BOD burnhah-
(Chicago Tribune.
There Is such thing as being too strict In In
terpreting a law. The postmaster who recently eS-
cIuded papers containing announcements of matrimonial
enpagements on the ground that marriage Is
lottery. may he defined In the wois OF the poet az
"a creature both too wise and good for human
natures daily food
1t is delightful to think how much fun 9lsht
and healthy boy can get out of / cent lie borgnt
a red top. After while he remalDered una. no
had seen in the toy shop some toD painted green,
and he went back and exchanged the red top Tor the
green one. Later he thought he ditn't want Top
after all and he carried back the ssen .op ~ a"s sns
To- tell what he did with the candy but it may be
mentioned that he took the empty fancy wrapper
back to the toy shop and offered 70 e,ehahge II Tor
fuII one This, however little TO much for the
benevolent shopkeeper who said: we do everything
we can TO please customers. but we can't give
Something for nothing. "-(Phladelpha fiquireE