West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1890-10-23


clothes direct from the boiler aud
sozzled them into tub of cold
water, and, not knowing how much
of the blue to use, he decided to
empty in the whole bottle and be on
the safe side. lie had pretty fair
quantity of writing fluid when the
water was stirred up. At this point
l called to him:
"Mr. Bowser, how far along have
you got?"
Don't you worry about me, Mrs.
Bowser. III have the whole shoot
ing match on the line in half an
hour"
He put the washboard into the
blue tub and began to rub the
clothes in the cold water. lie
might have had faint suspicion
that something had been left off the
programme, but hc made up for it
in energetic rubbing. lie went
wash wash wash for about twen-
ty minutes, and then there was an
awful Topping and splattering, as
IL dozen ducks were playing in
the water. He was rinsing tho
clothes. lie wasn't over five min
utes about it, and then he appeared
IN the back yard with "a basket full
of clothes to hang on the line. At
sight of him | had to sit down. The
clothes were plum blue, and Mr..
Bowser was plum -bluer. ''The
great and only tattooed man"
couldn't hold a candle to him. just
as he appeared in the yard far
mer's vile, who sells us eggs, open
ed the back gate and walked i'm.
"Good Lor', but what is this P"
she calculated, as she stood with
open mouth.
"Its only me-" replied Mr.. Bow
ser; "lve been washing"
washing what? Why, man,
you've spoiled everything there, to
the last dud, Is your wife sick,
dead or run off ?''
"Arcn't these clothes right ?"
"Man ! man but even a heather
would know better ~
just then one of Mr.. Bowser's
down town friends drove through
the alley in buggy. He could see
over the fence, and when ho saw
Mr.. Bowser he pulled up his horse
so quickly that the animal almost
fell.
"ls that you, Bowscr?" he called.
"Y.ycs."
"Wcll, what in the name Of the
past ages are you doing ?"
"Oh, n-nothing."
"Nothing! I'll bet 10 to l you're
fitting yourself for museum freak.
Say, old man, you have hit it +! just
file your teeth to point and you'll
phss for a genuine cannibal ~
lie drove on and the egg woman
backed out of the gate and said
"I'ye been furnishing you three
dozen a week, and I've never missed
a Tuesday, but l give you notice
that ! don't come no more. 1t
would bc taking chances. A man
as is light in the head may be all
right one day and very violent the
next. Love to your excellent wife,
and I'm for her."
Mr.. Bowser entered the kitchen
in three jumps. sat there laugh
ing until / could hardly breathe.
lie lowered above me like noun
tain over a mouse, and after chok-
ing and gasping for a minute he
roared out:
"Mrs. Bowser, you have finally
done it, haven't you ?"
"What have l done?"
"What have you done Got me
to do the washing and give myself
away for an internal idiot Look
at mel Look at them duds in the
yard -
"Mr. Bowscr, didn't tell You
not to try it.? Didn't do my best
to keep you from trying it ?"
mo Never You encouraged
me TO 90 ahead -
"Mr. Bowser -
"Don't Mr.. Bowser me! This
is the endl The worm turns
Wen settle matters this very day 2"
But Mr.. Bowscr is still with me.
and ] have no doubt that We shall
live and die together.