Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1890-03-06

bills to pay tomorrow for lumber and
bricks, and my third will pay 'em. If /
don't I'll go TO pieces. You don't want
TO see me break up business, do you@
Now, jerry says /, that won't do. You
haven't got enough to divide into three
parts. Putty and me agreed go halves
with what we get out of you, and when
| lay ont a piece OF business | don't
make no changes. Half of that money
is for me, and half is for Putty. So just
hand it out, and don't let's have no
more jabberin'.
"Jerry he looked at me pretty hard
and then says he: You're about the
close-fisted and meanest man l ever met
with. Here / offer you third part Of
my money, and all you've got to do is to
take it and 60 away peaceable. I'd be
willin' to bet two to one that it's more
than you expected TO get, and yet you
are not satisfied; now I'll be hanged il
I'm going to do business for you You
can be hanged If you like, says l, but
you'll do tho business all the same No,
won't, says he, and he turns to Putty
Henderson. Now, Putty says he,
you've got pile more sense than this
pal Of yourn, and I'm goin' to see if !
can't do business with you. Now, you
and me together can lick this Tommy
Randall just as easy as not, and If you'll
help me do it III not only divide the
money with you, but I'll give you fifty
dollars extra, so that instead Of fifteen
hundred and fifty dollars-thatsa all he'd
given you, If he didn't cheat you-you'll
have sixteen hundred, and III have IF
teen hundred instead of the thousand
and thirty-three dollars which l would
have had left If my first offer had been
took. So, Putty, what do you say to
that?' Now, Putty he must have been
little sore with me on account of the
arguments we'd had about dividin',
and he was mighty glad besides
to get the chance of maxim fifty dollars
extry, and so he said it was all right,
and he'd agree. Then I thought it was
about time for me to take in some of
my sail, and says L: Jerry, that's pref
ty good joke, and you can take my hat
as soon as / get a new one, but of course
l don't mean to be hard on you, and if
you really have bills to pay tomorrow
I'll take third, and Putty'n take an
other, and We'll go away peaceful No
you WON'T sings out Jerry, and with
that he jumps out of bed right at me,
and Putty Henderson he comes at me
from the other side, and, between the
two, they gave me the worst lickin' l
ever got in my born days; and then
they dragged me downstairs and
kicked me out Of the front door, and l
had hardly time to pick myself up be-
fore saw a policeman abouta block off,
and if he hadn't been fat one he'd had
me sure. 1t wouldn't have been pleas
ant, for / was a good deal wanted about
that time"
81 think you were served exactly
right" said Aunt Martha; ''and won
der such an experience did not induce
you to reform"
ut did, ma'am, 1t did" said the burg
lar. 81 made vow that night that If
ever again had to call in any one to
help me in business of that kind l
wouldn't go pard with him. I'd pay
him SO much for the job, and I'd take
the risks, and I've stuck to it.
But even that don't always work.
Luck sometimes goes agin man, even
when he's working by himself. 1 re-
member thing of that kind that was
heastly hard on me. A gentleman en-
ployed me to steal his daughter"
'WhatF' exclaimed my wife and Aunt
Martha. "Steal his own daughterl
What do you mean by thatg''
That's what it was" said the stout
burglar, mo more nor less. was REQ
commended to the gent as q reliable
party for that sort Of thing, and l met