The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1890-09-06
" HAPPY JACK" ON PENSIONS.
A Protest Against Kentucky State Pensions

lucky Legislature for the establish
ment of a home for old Confederate
soldiers. Senator William Lindsay,
an old Confederate, who had charge
of the bill, received a protest from
an old friend, who signed himself
Happy Jack" though he was a
prominent citizen of Senator Lind
says county. Here is his protest,
and it, while humorous in style, is
sound and torcible:
JUDGE WILLIM LINDSAY:
Dear Sir: For the Lords sake
and if you have no respect for the
Lord just for us old rebels sake
don pass that Confederate Asso-
citation bill" Why, old man, don t
you know what tendency pecuni.
ary aid of any kind has to disable a
man? Has our Legislature lost every
bit of its good sense? Don't you
know that the United States pen
sion bills have crippled more Fed.
eral soldiers than the combined
armies OF Lee, and Jackson, of Hill
and Longstreet, Of Buckner and
Albert Johnson, of Joe Johnson,
Bragg and Hood, of Price, Van
Dorm, Dick Taylor and Kirby Smith?
Great Fathers above! man, stop and
think before your further get. Here
| am, now, tripping toward sixty;
been out Of the rebel army slice
May 2, 1865; been able to cut cord
wood and maui rails every day since,
and the very mention of your bill
makes me begin to feel on the de.
cine.
Don't do it, Judge; don't do it.
You are out on high grass, and may
not be tempted into the wrong pas.
ture, but you surely haven't forgot
that little, close boundary Of short
grass, and the temptations suggested
thereby. Don't do it; it will paralyze
me and make others like me Why,
look at Dick Warren, a great fine
specimen of mankind and the very
best OF good fellows; has ten hand.
some children and lovely wife, all
in one lovely little inclosure Of short
grass with him. He would be
tempted to break through and stea.
if he eyer had been rebel, and il
you pass this bill, don't you suppose
he will wish he had been a rebel?
Judge, don't do it. Look around
you, and | expect you can find a
member Of the present Legislature OF
Senate who, to all appearances, is a
great big, hearty and healthy man, but
interrogate him and you will find
that he has a doctors certificate Of
disability contracted in the service
of the best government the world
ever saw. Now, you step over there
and ask him if that is not so. Why,
your bill will cripple the last one Of
us, Judge, and l don't want to be a
cripple. Then in few years more
we will have the sons of veterans,
and there will come up some blear,
eyed, hatchet- faced, Aat-headed boy
and tell you that he is Happy Jack 5
boy. Happy Jack had no boy, re-
plies the commissioner, or whoever
he may be. Who was your
mother and where do you live any
how? Now, | don't want to be i'm
posed on in that way.
Judge, don't do 1t. Think about
'Woodie' Longmoor, with his leg
cut off at the hipjoint. He is taking
care of himself. Look across the
house at Rudy. Didn't | see him at
Emory and Henry with one leg cut
off until there was just enough left
for a knob for his walking stick?
Didn't my brother languish and suf-
fer in the same hospital with Rudy
until his youthful body wasted into a
bag of bones? Can't | see his great
big blue eyes rolling about in his
emaciated checks now? These and
thousands Of cthers just like them
are taking care of themselves, and
they don't want to cripple us. For
gracious sake Judge, give US a
chance 10 make an honest living.
Why, Jeff Sterrett is getting along
the bulliest kind; raised a nice boy.
General Duke, all sitting house
full OF nice children and his little girl
is the best fiddler in the States OF
America. Did you ever see her draw
a bow?
Thinking about those old boys
and old times makes me think oOOd
things about everybody, even the
Yankees. Judge, don't you know
we have the cleverest kind OF neigh
bors who belong to the Union army,
and who for years after that cruel
war was over had muscles of bark
and stomachs like bark mills, and
one day that pension bill passed
Congress, and before the sun went
down a million or two of them lifted
up their heads and swOre until their
fingers grew as long as rye straws
and their palms as big as barn doors
that they hadn't been able to do a
days work for long time. A ma
ton of patriots cramped, crushed,
crippled by a single act of Congress!
Has ever pen, so much mightier than
the sword, done more damage
Oughnt these old soldiers to have
sv ept that Congress from the face OF
the earth? But, Judge, they couldn' t