Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1890-07-12
TEA TABLE SALAD.

TEA TABLE SALAD.
STILL water runs deep, but the dash
ing tide gets onto the rocks.-i1tmero CT
zeHe.
BECAUSE a shoe has hoarse squeak it
is not necessarily a horse shoe.-Patts-
barry Chronicle.
''I'M having |gallus' time" said the
old bachelor, as he mended one OF his
suspenders-Neg York Journal.
FIRST PAssENGER-"A Are We sick, Thorn
as % Second Passenger (faintly )-'D'ye
think I'm doing this for fun ?''-1he
Jester.
THE little thermometer smiled in glee
AS the mercury upward drew
To the century mark and silently asked:
NV -Phuadelphia Times.
EUsToMER-''That suit is all dusty"
Shomberg-"Ah, mein vrent, dot
comes from der schalk we're We marks
dem down 50 ofden. "-Puck.
"fOH!" hear the graduates exclaim,
"What is the of all my Greek?
Jumping from bridges leads to fame;
Shooting the rapids wins name;
Fate is the only thing to blame;
O, that had been born a fTeak!'
Detroit Free Press.
New YORK GIRI-E'What can | get for
shade hat?"
Boston Girl-''I myself prefer a Limb
horn. "-Ne1c York Herald.
TEAcHER-''Whatr regulates the supply
of liquor in Maine?"
Bright Boy (who reads the newspa-
pers) THE demand. '-Puck.
It's very funny
That men with money
Can never find an investment that pays.
While there many
Without penny
Who know Of good schemes that wall Last al
ways -Nca0 York Herald.
EOIN, to his guide-.Do you know
where we are?' Guide, positively
"NO, boss" Emin, with tears of joy
"Thank heaven, lost againn'-Ne@ York
Sem.
"JUsT see how many beggars there are
on the footpath Now you can see,
Laura, how much more economical 1t was
for us to take a carriage n'-FHeqeade
Bl@ter.
PARRoT-"Polly wants a drink"
Polly's Owner-"Polly can't have a
drink without cracker" 'Parrot-
Darn Boston, anyway. "-Boston CoN-
Tier.
SIMERA1-"How do you happen to
know so much about Germany? You
have never been there" Snooper-"No;
but | was born and raised IN MllWau-
kee. "--Epoch.
loaf me, mein leedle von?" Miss
Amercana-"Wel, Heinrich, | will for
a year or two; but after that | think
you really ought to 90 to work. "-Puck.
A LITTLE boy watched the school
house burning for a long while and then
started off down the street saying:
''Well, Pm glad the old things burned
down! | didn't have my stronermy
lesson no ."-Jatdge.
BosroN has a fund for statue to Wen
dali Phillips. The starting of fund
is very easy, and it is a favorite ques-
ton between newspapers. "Whose
memory shall you begin to perpuate
next week ?"-Jatdge.
The difference between mems and
women's ways is nowhere shown SO
plainly as in trouble. Where woman
gives way to flood of tears man pro-
ceeds to put up a few strong DAMS
-Terre Hdute Express.
LITTLE Girl Mamma, what is a
grass widow"
Little brother breaking in)-"Why,
sis, anybody knows that. It's woman
what had a husband that died Of hay
fever" -NeaC York Tribune.
A SoMERvILLE clergyman declines to
live in $50, 900 house on IS, 900 salary.
He offers to compromise, expressing a
willingness to live in 1000 house on
a 600 salary, but his congregation
doesn't tackle kindly to the PROPOSE
Neutrality-suspicious. Herald.
''SAY Bobbetts, did you ever propose
to my wife ?"
why do you ask
ooh, because, when | gave her your
love, as you told me to in your letter,
she said 'Chestnuts. '''-NeoO York Her
ald
"PATRIcE, you were on bad spree
yesterday" ''Yis, Mr.. Ellis, [ was.
Bless me if I wern't a'layin' in the gut
ter wild a pig. Father Ryan came along,
looked at me, an says, seq he, 'One is
known by the company he keeps. ~ !
"And did you get up, Patrick ?" mo;
hYt the pig dig, Dry Goods Chronicle
LITTLE 15HNSY-"Yes, pa, at Sunday
school to-day the teacher told us that
the streets of Heaven are paved VT h
cold. and that the walls of the city are
of precious stones" Pa Ito HIMSELF
another one of those real estate spec
ulation schemes, probably. But they
don't catch me again-not this year. =
Boston Transcript.