davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-01-18
LITTLE LAUGHS.

A prudent man is like pin; his head
prevents him going too far.-Toledo
Bee.
The family stoyepipe was never meant
for pipe of peace.-Binghamton Re-
publican.
Evergreen trees are the dudes of the
forest. They make the sprucest bOughs.
Rome Sentinel.
A Safe Bet-Stubb-What do YOU
think of Pencil? Quill-He is very
sharp. He'll make his mark.-Puek.
One OR the Other-"When l drink
much can't work, and so let it alone. ~
"The drinking?" mo, the working"
-Fliegende Batter.
When young woman powders her
hair and wears cap it will be rather
strange if there is not a bang some
where in the vicinity. Washington
Star.
The American funny man can never
know how highly appreciated his para
graphs are until he sees them embalmed
in one of Max O'Rell's Iectures.-Bos-
ton Transcript.
Wife-You do not love me now as you
used to. Uusband-Well. that's not
surprising. You know the doctor says
| am troubled with heart failure.-NeW
York Sun.
The Reason Why-New Yorker dds
cussing worlds falr)-Well, there's no
grass growing in the streets of New
York, anyhow! ChIcagoan-Very true;
you don't leave your pavements down
long enough for it to take root!-Puck.
PurpoSely Misunderstood Brownsey
Hello. Jonesey, glad to see you back.
Jonesey-Thanks, old boy. Did any
one miss me while was gone? Brown
sey-Miss, you? Cad! l didn't know
that anybody shot at you.-Time.
Palmer-It's mighty funny. but there
are no less than six people with whom
have been talking within week who
are now dead. Curtleigh-I haven't
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-01-18
SMALL SMILES.

The cynic's Christmas-A holly mock
ery.-Punch,
We generally rush things when the
grade is down hill.-Philadelphia In-
Quirer.
a paper devoted to plumbers is called
the Rasp. The craft will probably keep
it on file.
Wickars-Is Timmins writing poetry
yet? Simmonds (another poet)-No, not
yet.-Terre Haute Express.
Patient-Do cucumbers distress all
people, doctor? Doctor-No, sir; only
those who eat them.-EXchange.
My son. don't fret over your trials.
The more plate of SOUP is stirred up
the cooler it becomeS.-BOst0n Tran
scr pt.
In de business O. life er man mus elder
go up er come down. Oar aim no
stand still. De sun doan stay at II er
clock more den er minit.-Arkansaw
Traveller.
A Legal Personal---very. itlow-I hear
Jones has been arrested for keeping a
COW. Bitso-For keeping a COW? What
an outrage! Yes, she belonged to an
other man.-Time.
81 will die for you. my darling" he
exclaimed pasSionately. Will you be
my Wlfe?' ''tiet your life insured be-
fore you die, and guess it's CO." she
Said.-SomeryiIle journal.
AT the door: "Marrier, this is the
fifth time Eve asked you to come and
let me ill.," From the upper window:
''Well, heard you. Say it again and
then sing it." Can't; L amt got the
key."-Binghamton Republican.
Lord Dufferly ION his first visit to
New York)-Who is that distinguished
looking man we just passed? Why, he
has the bearing of a duke! Mr.. Forum
dred-Shl Don't let him hear you.
That's captain OF police !-Puck.
Sam Jonnsing you see the kur-
mel? Jim Webster-I did for a fac.
Sam-How did he treat you? Wild the
proper respect? JIm-De best in the
world. De cigar smoke what he bowed
in my face come from 25-cent cigar
Texas Siftings.
Easier Said Than Done.-Old Gent
Oh, it's all right. 1 met your master an
hour ago and he gave me verbal per-
mission to fish all down the stream.
Keeper-Yezzur wouldn't deny any
thin as you said, sir. but l must arst
you to show me that there permission
London Fun.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-01-18
CoNTEMPoRANEoUs CHAFF.

The Notwithstanding boy may be
president-if he IRRESPONSIBLE Court
er-Journal.
Why is it that people with good I'm.
pulses are generally lazy?-Milwaukee
Journal.
A writer tells how to sponge a shiny
coat. If be will tell how to sponge a
brand new coat he will attract more at
tention.-Texas Siftings.
BERTHE Brilliant driving home from
the club after having taken more cham
payne than he ought)--I say, how much
pleasanter it is to ride in a cab and
think how much pleasanter it is to ride
in cab than it is to walk. than it is to
is to ride in cab than it is to walk
Life.
You may coat, you may sugar the pin as you
will,
But the taste of the quinine will hang round
it still.
Philadelphia Inquirer.
Lady Tin furniture store, to new clerk
Where are those handsome Sideboards
that you had last week? Clerk (embar-
rassed)-Oh. I-er-I shaved them off
day afore yesterday, nia'am.
Sing song of rainy days,
A city full of Stop,
Wonder il this drasted damp
Is ever going to stop.
Got the Influenza too.
Awful times are these,
Wading through the mud and pausing
Now and then to sneeZe,
Chicago Herald.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-01-18
TO BE SETTLED,

The legislature of West Vieginia is in
special session for the solution of the
ola colundrum as to who was elected
governor Of that state in November,
1888. The assumption has seemed easy
that there has been needless delay in
reaching conclusion for some reason
not commendable, but if the result is to
vindicate the integrity of the ballot and
ferret out frauds, the time and labor
may not be wasted. The face of the re-
turns gave GoFF. the Republican cam
didate, a trifiing majority, and if he is
now declared elected, he will lose a
year or SO from his term. The legisla-
tive committee is reported to have made
very thorough investigation, and
taken thousands of pages of testimony
As result, they threw out about 800
votes as illegal, and it is claimed
that hardly less than 5000 were
thrown for the Republican tick
ct that were not rightfully cast.
These were mostly negroes gath
cred i'm the strong Republican counties.
In Mercer aud Mcdowell LOO who mad
had not been there the requisite time
were voted by the Republicans. In
Mercer the grand jury returned 500 in
dictments of such parties, most of them
fleeing from the state. One gang of
seyenty-Six negroes was voted in Vir-
GINA, where they lived, and at two
points in West Virginia. These were
remarkably active patriots to vote three
times in one day. If there were any
frauds perpetrated by Democrats. they
should be shown up and the guilty par
ties punished 1t is not very material
which party has the state offices. but it
is very material that they shall be held
by rightful tenure.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-01-18
NOT SECTIONAL.

Perhaps no question, aside from those
directly involved in party issues. is re-
ceiving more attention than the race
matter or the future of the colored man.
A colored convention at Chicago, a day
or two ago, had something to say about
it. Schemes for colonization and other
things are appearing in leagues. and the
newspapers are taking varied views.
Possibly some solution of difficulties or
mitigation of hardships will be effected.
In considering the subject it is best to
understand that white people in the
South and North are pretty much alike
in their feelings as regards the negroes.
There is quite as much dlstaste in the
North as anywhere to social fellowship
or civic elevation for the coio.ed man.
Evidence of this is seen constantly.
and in all sections. AT the home
of President HARRISON, the other
day, there was trouble over the
attempt of colored artisans to secure
recognition in their trades. The more
recent case at Upper Alton, ILL.,, is one
of common occurrence in localities In
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-01-18
REEDS hULES.

There was no occasion for Speaker
REED to snubg Dir. CARLISLE in a mat
ter where he ought to have been glad to
have availed himself of the ex-speaker's
experience and knowledge of parlia-
mentary law. The speaker of the house
of representatives is ex-ofiicio chairman
or the committee on rules. MIR. CAR
Isle is the representative of the mi :
nority party in the house on the same
committee. The committee has been
holding some Important meetinss re-
Gently, with view of fixing up some
new rules which Speaker REED pro-
poses to have adopted for the govern
ment of the house, and yet Mr.. CAR
Isle has been carefully excluded from
all these committee meetings, and has
not been allowed to participate in the
work of revising the rules. OF course
Speaker REED has reason for his
peculiar conduct, but Mr.. REED is as
careful to seclude that reason from the
public as he is to exclude Mr.. CARLISLE
from the committee meetings. There
are no personal differences between
REED and CARLISLE; and if there were,
that would be no reason for failing to-
treat Mr.. CARLISLE with the courtesy
due to every member of congress. 1t is
is hardly because Mr.. CARLISLE is a
Democrat, because during all their Sc
cret conferences over these new rules,
Mir. REED and MIR. MCKINLEY have
been i'll constant communication with
MIR. RANDALL. whose advice has been
sought and whose opinions are
always acceptable. The only explana-
ton which is at all plausible is that the
new rules being concocted by REED
and MCKINLEY are being framed with
the sole purpose of preventing the tariff
reformers from eXerting any influence
in congress, and to shut off all legisla-
ton that squints in the direction of
tariff reform. MIR. CARLISLE is recog-
niZed as tue leader of the tariff reformers
in the lower house of congress, and the
snubbing that he has lately been receiy-
ing at the hands Of the speaker is moth
ing more or less than part of a DELHI
crate plan agreed upon by the protec-
tionsts to scotch tariff reform at every
movement and to knock tariff reformers
in the head every time they pop up. The
new rules will be simply an application
of gag law to stifie the popular will.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-01-18
AN ASPIRATION.

5 When we have cut each others Threats
I And robbed each others land,
+ And turned, and changed and lost our coat
b Till progress is at stand;
When every programmes" been gon
{ THIS good old world will wake anewi
When Science, Art and Learning cease,
I As Wealth and Commerce die
Z The children they of v ealth and Peace,
I With Peace and Wealth they fly
+ Then ghosts will walk. and in their train
I Bring Old Religion back again.
1 When Hunger, War and Pestilence
4 Have run their ancient round;
/ When Law has long been banished hence;
/; When hate has cleared the ground;
When men. groR u few, as once they were,
Breathe uncontaminated Rir-
Till then / fain would sleep, and then
Be born in other days.
A hermit in some happy glen
Where some clear river strays:
NurSed in some faith-I know not. l.
Wherein q man might live and die.
All, early would rise to pray,
And early would steal
From chapel, in the dawning gray.
To earn the Fridays meal
A monk who never dreamed Of doubt,
I'd each uneducated trout.
A priest where women might not come,
Nor any household care;
a land where newspapers we're dumb
From scandal and from scare
That priest I'd be. that land I'd see.
Would Fortune work my wish for me.
Buddha. if thy tale be true
OF still returning life,
A monk may be born anew
In valleys tar from strife
A monk where Meggat winds, and laves
THE lone st. Mary Of the Waves
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-01-18
THE STORY OF A DAY.

An Ohio man dies in fit of sneezing.
The Clifton house. Mangato. is burned.
LIE 5ueur suffers from disastrous fire.
Gov. Merria m is half inclined not to seek
another term.
The Afre-Amerlcan league refuses to in.
dorse any party.
Swedes are to colonize the abandoned
farms of Vermont.
There are % entries for the races al
Washington Park, Chicago.
The state supreme court decides that IL
dian marriages are ali right in law
The Minnesota grand lodge of Masons
unanimously condemns CerneauiSm.
Eugene Hay assumes the Office of United
States district attorney for Minnesota.
-Four persons are killed and many injured
at COLLEGE Hill, O.. in a railway accident
The senate committee on territories reports
favorably on the Wyoming and Oklahoma
bills.
The Minneapolis council will permit Mr..
Lowry to use electricity on his street railway
lines
bill is introduced in the South Dakota
legislature for the adjustment of justices OF
the peace.
A Republican member OF the Silver Bow
delegation in Montana applies to the SUI
preme court for a writ of mandamus to com
pei the proper authorities to pay him salary
and mileage
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-01-18

fortunate for the Dakotas if the condi-
tons had been similar there, even if the
Republicans had the majority. In all
the territorial period the Republicans
had entire control, not enough Demo-
Gratis appearing in the legislature to i'm
pose any restraint upon the ruling
forces. There was no minority party,
with its salutary watchfulness. All
who wanted to have hand in fat things
joined the Republicans. In consequence
the most reckless and prodigal dis
pensations had sway. 1t will be
remembered that Gov. CHURCH We
toed appropriations for S2OO0O0 or
more at single session, and still the
territory left both the incoming states
intentionally in debt. There were no
public emergencies that prompted the
vast expenditures, and the RESPONSE
bility attaches exclusively to the Re-
publican party. 1t is not assumed that
the men in control of that party in the
new states are more scrupulouS, but
they are compelled to cut the slices thin
by reason of the stringency engendered
by their former prof1igacy, and the peo-
pie are fortunate in the fact that the
minority is now organized and vigilant,
and will hold the majority down to a
more conservative gait. The COM
munity or state is likely to secure more
frugal and honest administration of it's
affairs when there is nearly equal divis-
ion in political strength.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-01-18
THE INDISCHEEr TRIO

1t is worth remembering that three of
the five Minnesota representatives
voted to take money out of the national
treasury to reimburse congressmeH who
were losers by the SILCoTT defalcation.
Probably some of these gentlemen were
losers, or possibly they may have voted
that way out of personal sympathy for
those who did lose. In either event it
was most indiscreet act, as they will
learn later on. for there was not single
ground of justification for such vote.
The money that SILCoTT got away with
did not belong to the government, nor
was it lost through any failure of the
government agents or officials to
perform their duty. The money
was the private property of GER
tain gentlemen who happened at the
time to be filling public station, whom
the government had no more right to
reimburse than it would to pay JOHN
Doe. Of legal mythology, for the serv-
ices he has rendered as proxy for lit
igants. Under every rule of law or
equity any citizen of the republic would
have as Just claim against the govern
ment as the members OF congress who
lost money by the SILCoTT deialcation.
This is the view that majority of the
mem ers of the lower house OF congress
took of it, hence the proposed appro pri-
alton was defeated.
1t is noticeable that nearly all of the
l26 members who voted for the appro-
priation, including the three Minnesota
congressman, were new members, and
never had to stand for reelection
Otherwise they would probably have
voted with the majority. There are
some faults of a representative for
which there is no atonement, and any
thing i'll the shape of appropriating the
public money to individual use is one of
them. At the next election after the
famous salary grab bill passed congress
the country was dotted over with po-
litical tombstones which marked the
eternal resting places OF members who
voted for the bill. There is possibility
that the country's political graveyard
will be further ornamented next fall
with 126 new monuments to the memory
of the band who wanted to reimburse
SILCoTT'S victims.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-01-18
ONLY SOBER MEN.

The management of the Burlington
road has recently issued circular order
making it compulsory on all the officials
of the road to enforce the rule against
tipping or drunkenness. Indulgence
i'll these practices is to be followed by
dismissal from the employment of the
company. The purpose is declared to
be to have only reliably temperate men
in the service of the road. The Bur-
lington is not singular in this matter 1t
is the prevalent rule with the railroads
to put only men of answering sobriety
in the responsible positions. Some may
not have made the requirement. SO COM
prehensive and imperative as the Bur-
liugton, but none will retain men who
are known to dssipate to any
extent. This is becoming the Gus
tom also with the great manu-
featuring, commercial and bank
ing institutions. They insist not
only that the employed shall be free
from all evidences of indulgence. but
the disposition is to follow the exaction
of the Burlington, in theory, at least.
and insist that tipping shall not be toll
Grated even when Off duty. There is no
sentiment in this thing. Corporations
are not temperance evangelists, nor
are they apt to be sollcitous for the well
fare of their agents on any philanthrOpc
line. The philosophy of the thing is
apparent, especially in the case of rail-
roads or where complicated machinery
is involved. Financial and mercantile
institutions keep track of their trusted
employees, and any serious deviation
from the correct ways of life is noted.
The temperance persuaders can find
good deal of suggestion for young men
in the business rela ton.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-01-18
PECULIAR POINTERS.

A calf without the sign of tail dis
ports in the fields at Pennington.
A rattlesnake shaking fourteen rat
Ties was killed in swamp near Allegan,
Mich, the other day.
John Thompson. of WiIliamsport, suf-
fered from an attack of hiccoughs which
lasted for q week.
The fashion of powdering the hair is
establishing itself with the Paris
beanX, and 5 expected TO show itself
again in Lomdon.
While digging in his ear with a pin.
Charles Mowers, of Shippensburg. did
himself an injury which has resulted in
lockiaw.
An eagle sitting on the cornice OF the
Southern hotel was sight that aston
ished the people Of ST. Louis the other
evening.
1t is said of "a Hudsondale, Carbon
county. Pennsylvania, man that he has
worn the same hat for twenty-three
years, and he says it has come into
Style nineteen times.
Antrim, n. H., with q population of
about 1900. boasts of four nonogen-
arians, and twenty-five octGgenarians.
Twenty-one of these twenty-nine old
people are women.
Separation from his wife Is sought for
by Chester man. and he backs his
claim for it by the statement that she
danced for joy when he chopped his
fingers Off.
A hen at Chambersburg began the
new year by laying an egg weighing
four and half onces, with sort of a
bay-windOw attachment ON either side.
Capt. Elisha Cakes, of Vinalhaven,
Me-, has 10000 live Holsters in his pond,
from which he is shipping from Boston,
Two or three men like Mr.. Cakes would
be able to get up quite corner on the
salad market.
a Bellaire, Mich, tailor has made
pair of pants out of 500 different kinds
of cloth for fortune-hunting youth,
who wants to create the impression that
he is the most economical man OH earth.
The pants cost 500.
1t is claimed that phosphate is found
in only three places throughout the
United States-S0uth Carolina, New
Mexico and Florida. In New Mexico it
is about exhausted, while in Florida it
is more extensive than in South Caro-
lima, aud assays % per cent more.
La his speech at the opening of the
legislature of the province OF Quebec,
the lieutenant governor announced.
among other things. that during its seS-
sion the legislature will be asked to
pass an act granting 100 acres of land to
the father and mother of every family
of twelve or more living children, born
in lawful WedlOck.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-01-18

the North where there is considerable
division between the races. This is
particularly noteworthy on account of
the locality. Upper Alton is college
town two miles from where ELIJAH
LovEJnY was mobbed to death half
century ago for asserting anti-slavery
sentiments in his paper. Upper Alton
has always been stronghold of anti
slavery sentiment. In the ante-war
times it was an important station on the
underground railr0ad,'' as the fugitive
line was called. Its people now are
mostly Republicans, but the colored
population has always been large. In
consequence the white boards of educa-
ton have had separate schools for the
negro children. All the facilities and
equipments were as good as those for
the white children. Good feeling pre-
vailed, and all went along smoothly.
Recently some Of the perverse col
ored people took notion to break
up the old plan. They persuad-
ed the others of their race to Join
in movement to abandon their own
schools and demand admission to the
others. The parents marched to the
white school house with their children,
and their entrance was prevented by
armed whites. A serious riot was
threatened. Under the state law the
educational board was forced to yield to
the demands of the blacks. when the
whites withdrew their children. The
matter was finally settled and trouble
averted by the colOred people accepting
| their separate schools again, when they
had discarded the Incorporate leader
ship of few colored politicians. Re-
publicans i'll the North are quite as adj
verse to the social admiXture as the
Democrats in the South. Where there
are but small number of the colored
children, the common schooling is ac-
cepted as necessity, but the Upper
Alton case is illustrative of the feeling.
without regard 10 the politics of the
communities. Nature has raised bar
rier against race admixture, and to in
terfere with it is to do violence to the
creative purpose, and is immoral and
every way pernicious. This is. after
all, the inspiration of the prevalent re-
pugnahce to put the color line out of
social sight. Ii the fact is kept in mind
that this is a prevalent and not sectional
disposition, there will be a more ration
al consideration of the subject.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-01-18
Republicans Did 1t,

Aberdeen Republican.
The territorial government of Dakota
was overwhelmingly Republican. and it
not only spent all the money it could get
but ran the territory in debt and dis
counted the revenue orseveral years to
come, SO that both of the Dakotas are
now practically bankrupt. Neither has
any money on hand, both are heavily in
debt,and in both the estimated expenses
are greatl. in excess OF receipts at the
highest rate of taxation permitted by
their constitutions. Both are driven, by
the shameless productivity of MelIette's
territorial government, to the dire
necessity of closing schools and col
leges for lack of money to keep them
open.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-01-18
DAKoTA POINTS.

The retiring commissioner of immi-
grafton of the territory of Dakota has
just compiled very complete book COW
ering ali matters pertaining TO the in
terests and welfare of the two states.
1t seems to be his concluding effort, as
he was a part of an organization that
disappears on the formation of states.
Among the information gathered from
it is, that North Dakota has rather less
than 100000 population. aud the South
$50, 900. both inferred from the last vot-
ing. The aggregate of the two states
will evidently oyerrun 100000 at the
taking Of the census in June. The