Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1890-07-15

BACH CLUB GOSSIP.

Summer Vacations had lsf. very fes Of
the Bach Club sitting together the other
evening. LATE, the Colonel. the tommo-
dors, Old Sp9rt and Jerry were away and
even the Parson had sought OFT some retired
nook along the Maine eoasf and there set
tied iovn for the summer, for the PAfson
hal ceased TO live b. dispensing gospel rs
he understood il. and passed his summers
quite costly attending caDpneetlngs and
Chsnta1qusa assemblies a. 4 matter OF
course.
The usually quiet doctor, however. Was
in ioauacious mood and told the folloSing
story regarding 4 member Of that twin pro-
fsssion with medicine. undertaking;
''One would scarcely expect to find any
thing verv funny connected with SO solemn
a vocation as tina, of undertaken. but the
following incident seems 10 indicate that
all those who follow this calling are not as
sad aud gloomy As their professional east
Of cou8tenance might IL dicate. One IN
particular, who is the mos. misAnthropic-
looking of them all. is one of the most
soe.able and jolliest of fellows. Rarely
does he leave without practical joke on
some one. His latest is one that started q
rumor of sudden death. He entered
store in the business center, where be is
frequent caller. leaving his somber-looklng
business wagon in front of the place aud
hanging a large loop of Grape deity TO the
door knob behind him. He stsid quite
awhile. aud, the proprietor being busy, did
no, notice that the door was closed. With
the Grape on the closed door no one tried to
enter More than half an hour passed
without sign of business, and the store
keeper in his conversation dwelt on the
dullness of trade. Small boys began to
gather and look in the windows, and this
attracted the attention of neighhor, who
came 10 inquire with evident anxiety about
the facts Of the death indicated by the sign
of mourning on the door. The joke got
out and cigars and soda are dispensed free
10 those who are in the secret"
"wen I suppose" said Sandy as the
doctor finished. THAT doctors do vast
amount of good sometimes aud truly for my
part ia rather trust them than pin my faith
on herbs And bye the bye, doctor,
once met with the most humorous and withal
most disgusting illustration of the ignorance
and meanness sometimes connected with
sickness of relatives. I've never since
wondered that qnack doctors flourish and II
they could succeed in filching such people
as have in mind would raise my voice IN
the shout long live quacks.
Tell US the story, Sandy said the Cap
tain.
The Captains motion was sec )ndei
heartily AMI sandy began.
81 was riding on branch of the Maine
Central one day this spring when two, mid
die aged females got aboard at a little sts,
ton and taking a seat directly in front OF
me began to talk"
Well the first woman said I've been
over to see Elviny's baby. Its drettul
pindiin' She says she gives it every herb
she can think of, and they don't see N some
how to do no manner o good. She's about
discouraged, and dunno but shell have to
call in doctor. told her Ia give thor
oughwor; one good try more before had
doctor. 1t don't seem as If that little mite
of thing, only year old, could have any
thing that would hold out agin thorough
wort, if Elviny gives enough OF it..
Her companion agreed with her on the
virtues of thoroughwort, and also that it
was not advisable 10 call in physician
until the child was visibly dying.
I've been down to cousin Louisy's
fuu'rul,' she said. Cousin LOUSY was
sick the best part o the winter. s you may
saw. and they never felt like calm in the
doctor till about a week before she died.
Ii was dreadful savin' O. doctors bills.
Ye.,' assented the first speaker; that's
what always say. Don't go to no doctors
a. long as you can do yourself. It's all
fooiishness runnin for the doctor the way
some folks DO the minnit anythn's the
matter with en-, no matter what it costs.
For my part, I'd rather pay the doctors less
an have more myself.
And the old tabbies looked at each other
in perfect agreement, and with profound
admiration of their own wisdom. as they
went the one homeward from the funeral of
Cousin LOUSY and the other to await
the sum n ons sure TO come soon to the OF
sequies of Elviny's unfortunate herb-tol-
mented baby
"They evaded the doctors bills about as
ingeniously as did an old Scotch woman of
nv acquaintance who wanted to get her
Young hop,ful into the schools. remarked
the Squire.
Ingenious methods are often To sorted to
BY pirents in order to make the ages of
their children conform to the requirements
of law Among the applicants for admission
to the schools at their opening in q certain
city last spring was a very Young child,
accompanied by his Scotch mother, the
woman just mentioned. The committee
man objected to granting the child requi-
site authority for entering school on the
ground that he did not appear to have
reached the required age tor admission.
The mother stoutly affirmed tina; the child
was 3 years old, but could not give the
year in which he was born, her memory
not being a reliable one so far as date
were concerned: still she argued that the
child was old enough TO go to school and
should be given permit. At last the com
mite eman. wishing to be assured on the
point of the ehild's age. told the mother
that she would have to bring 'is bible con-
tanning the record of the chid's age to him
before he would feel free TO decide. The
mex day, armed with the desired authority
in the shape of a chesp edition of the tesla
ment. she triampnantly le' the little fellow
again into the presence of the committee
man. and handing the latter the book with
the air ofone who had borne down all CT
positioo, poin.e to tlvIeaf on which was
,crawled. 'Sardy is > years old. The
child got permit, for there was no deny
ing so ingenious a mothef a. that.