Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-11-09
Isn't Usually as Strong as it is on
the Eloping Escapade.
HOW CUPID MAKES MANY FOOLS.
A Comfort Sometimes in the Belief That
Fate Ties Knots.
STATUS OF THE WIFE Is IMPROVING
WRITTEN FOR THE D1sPArcH.1

told by individual experience, but there
certainly is such thing as second love, and
it is usually much more likely to be accom-
panied by respect and the quiet affection
that gives rest and pleasure to life. The
early first love which never can be taken
again is what is commonly known as "calf
love" The philosopher is just as likely to
take 1t as the prince or the peasant, the
queen or the kitchen maid. A man wise on
every other point may be fool in love. He
will be crazy over the object of his alteration
and be determined to marry In spite of
every obstacle that can be set up. His
friends may see that the woman is not one to
suit him. She may be frivolous, giddy and
vain, but to him she is for the time, angelic.
WOMEN HAVEN'T THE SAME CHANCE.
Women have more excuse than men for
making mistakes in marriage. They, as
the manners of the world go, have not the
same freedom of selection that men seem to
possess. They are more nearly confined to
Hobson's choice, and have to put up with
what they can get. But the man who falls
in love loses his head, so to speak. Wis
dom. discretion and judgment desert him
for the time being, and as some poet says in
his definition of love:
It is sunny hour of play
For which repentance dear doth pay.
The momentous question of love is the
theme of all novels, the subject of all
dramas, the foremost topic of real life, and
yet it is considered a good deal of joke.
When Mary AIMS John Thomas comes to
see her on Sunday night and they are happy
in the kitchen in the enjoyment of saying
fond nothings to each other, they are enjoy
ing as much of bliss as Lady Geraldine who
is being courted in the drawing room, for
"love is heaven and heaven is love-"
MATRIMoNY IN THE PULPIT.
Talmage says somewhere that the most tre-
mendous sermons should be preached on the
subject of marriage, and he holds the pulpit
as guilty in not iteratiug and reiterating
practical advice on this subject But what
man or woman, when they are "dead gone
in love" ever take any such preaching TO
hear? Even good John Wesley, who saved
so many from destruction, and possibly gave
the best advice on this point to the young
people of his day, made a blunder in his
marriage that was the talk of the country,
and he is cited continually as an illustration
OF how foolish a man can be under the spell
of love.
There is hardly paper that can be picked
up that does not have story of an elope-
ment-a marriage against the wishes of
parents-or imprudent enough to bring cer-
tain failure. The opinion most often ex-
pressed on these is that it is quite smart and
fine for the young people to get ahead of the
ohdurate parents. There is much laughing
and joking about how slyly they managed
it, but, as a general, thing, it is not long be-
fore the wisdom offparents in their opposi-
ton is justified.
MISSING SWEET GIRLHooD.
ie n ;n,hf for, al -
their daughters married in their early GIRL
hood-when they should be in school-or
enjoying the pleasures of youth-before they
have Judgment enough to rear family well
and wisely. 1t is always sad to see them miss
the sweet season of girlhood, and "settle"
down to the cares of life before they have
tested its delights. It is also hard to see a
young man so selfwilled aud selfish that he
will marry with hardly q dollar in his
pocket He little realizes what struggle
he has entered upon, when he undertakes to
keep a house and a family on $6 or 81
week. But she, even less. has any concep-
tion of how she will have to stint and econo-
mize.
Not long ago a delicately reared girl mar
ried for love, and she now lives in close,
stuffy room in court, and has not had even
a new calico for two years. Love in cot
tage is all very delightful, if backed by an
adequate income, but love does not stay
there long when the wolf reaches the door.
But if love is necessary for happy mar
riage, with income enough to manage both
ends, it is also be remembered that the
CHARACTER OF A HUSBAND
is great factor, or should be SO esteemed.
II he is cross, grumpy and selfish, an angel
could not expect to live with him happily.
Most married people want to get along hap
nil Nait mar
slant state of hot water. But this very poin.
is what they need to think of before they
marry. 1t should be done before love has
run away with the senses-before they have
the measles-"they should fly betimes for
only they conquer love that run away"
But after all, it may be that there is
something in the old Greek idea that "what-
ever Is fated will take place." or on the
Darwin theory of natural selection" or,
as Mr.. Ingersoll puts it, that the choice of
one in preference to all others is the result
of forces beyond the control of the indi-
vidual." This gets US back to the old theory
that marriages are made in heaven. 1t may
be that the requisite discipline and proba-
tion for eternal life can be secured in no
other way. 1t may be that the unhappy
marriage of John Ruskin was essential to
the drawing forth of his powers or was
needed to secure the best fruition of his life.
A MATTER OF DESTINY
Nature has no respect for the happiness
of mankind. The book of destiny is one
that no one can translate. 'Tis the best
use of fate to teach fatal courage says
Emerson. $50 face the tragedies, the
disasters, the desolations that may come,
knowing that you are guarded by the
cherubim of destiny" So if man or
woman feel that it is his or her luck, or fate,
or what you will, to make a bad marriage it
may be some consolation to them to know it
was written in the stars. Or they may COM
fort themselves with the idea advanced that
disappointment is q wholesome medicine, or
that every cloud has a SILVER lining.
Another thing should be remembered on
the subject OF love, and that is that people
change. They grow either upward or down.
ward. There are men of mind who have in
creased in wisdom, in learning in all that
tends to intellectual development. and
whose wives are shallow-braiued and irivo-
lous and small-natured. They know little
or nothing of the questions of the daY-have
no interest in the problems that fill mems
minds These women are the
DULLEsT OF COMPANIONS,
their narrow sphere is limited to gaddine
and eossiping. Such men are dull and re-
ticent at home, while in other society. or
among men, they may be brilliant, ELOQUENT
and the most entertaining of companions
Then there are gifted women who are
doomed to live with clods-men whose lives
are given solely to making money-who are
r,,1oar in r,otura "a