Weekly independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 1887-1914, 1890-07-20
nuMoa IN ADVERTISING.
RoV i Publle STATE Wants and CO
Thlnss AtHed O~eeAAlonALy.

..H AAAAS AAAo OCCAA4ou1Ays .H
A scrap-booi OF clippings from the
advertising columns of the press reveals
= mass OF goodly bits Of unconscious
humor, OF which only = few may DO
quoted here.
From such \ scrap-book the New York
Evening Sun takes the following speci-
mems: Possibly some OF them are hot
so innocent of humorous intent as their
ourcc would wish to imply, but many
Of them must 60 IS irrefutablc evidence
that Hibernianisms- arc not confined
to tho land which rcjoiced in its I'M
incncc AZ the birthplace OF Sir Hugh
Roche.
Eau dc Cologne water and giants dc
Suede gloves" arc luxurics which VIC are
told may be Il at '~ruinously low
prices" 4 Chinese laundryman will
wash and iron \ collar with . cape for
two cents and will sell .tea and coffee
At equally low rates"
4 safe company wishes = travelling
agent, "2SxlSSS"-dincnsions which
arc hard TO find among men capable OF
travelling ana Carrying sample sales
about the country with them. and for
whom /, is therefore considered ncccs-
sary TO advertise.
Under the general heading OF "Ex-
cursions," We arc told that $4,000 will
buy = long and we'll established bust
ness" details of the length of the bust
ness not given: tho whole conveying tho
idea that the excursion is likely to be
somewhat too extensive and certainly
too expensive.
"A talented. intelligent young man OF
- --nr;,--a .r.,1In., rSNei,fa,
in 4 saloon as 4 liquor hlender'-an in
dication that benevolent Boston has
SET us something besides poets and
pugilists-
\ keeper OF \ clearinghouse wishes
20 rcnt = room 10 4 gentleman, large,
airy and square," Another room that
needs only 4 tenant to be perfect is to
let in . select ncighborhood ''ncar the
Theological Seminary and 4 minutes
walk from the Grand Opcra-IIousc," n
location we'll calculated 70 suit all sorts
and conditions of men.
II vas possibly I printers error that
was responsible foS the naive announce
rcnt that Madam Blank has for rent 4
room for 4 single gentleman; beard very
moderate"
Teeth filed while you wait lacks
the true ring OF the advertisers highest
art, but il may be genuine. Umbrellas
provided with new ribs. sticks and cover
ing is certainly a good basis for assum-
ing mar the umbrella ncndcr is ! hope
ful person who will never say die"
The landlord who alvcrtiscs = Nat,
with all the modern improvements, no
children" demonstrates that he Gocsuot
know what all modern improvements
are; and may be set down as being fully
as unt-ustworthy as the person who
wishes to sell "an enormously profitable
business for 4 nero song"
mo bargains ~ this store is candid,
but sensational; and one may reasonably
distrpst the coal dealer rho asserts in
big black letters that his tons weigh
1000 pounds" and that his coal gives
out heat"
"Lost-A savage bulldog. The finder
will obligc the owner by keeping tho
dog" bctrays n philosophical as we'll as
a humorous turn OF mind, while the per-
son who offers 4 reward of So for 4
'pockct-book OF no value" appears 10 be
an cItravagant person.
a physician advcrtiscs for an "oflco
boy who can drive" ) person who docs
not give his business wishes to employ
a good, steady man who has 500, at SIC
a month. An author OF Standing will
write a book, or any subject. for any
body, for moderate pay"
Verify. tho supply seems TO be incx-
harstiblc. and ono can find n sufficient
nu1bcr OF laughs in tho display column7
OF newspapers and in back pages OF tho
magazines to fully justify tho famous
remark Of the eloquent Mrs Malaprops:
Sweet arc h uses OF Advertising"