Lewiston teller. [volume] (Lewiston, North Idaho) 1878-1900, 1890-09-11
SMILE PROvoKERx

Oh. don't know; l never attended any. |
This amt dwarf. He's over i've
feet tall" That's the great thing abou
him. He il the tallest dwarf in thu
world.
Heaven will b- full of surprises, bu
none greater than when a man realixet
that all his good intentions have put NJ
jewel in his crown.
He NEWLY married) Il wish you
wouldn't call me dear while we're ir
company. She-Why. Charles? He
Because it makes me fee! so cheap.
II hear you went to the art photog-
rapher's to get your picture taken.
How did it come out ?' BADLY. II
looks SO much like me everybody says it's
hideous.
Harold CA. B., Harvard, 'ss)-Maude,
I love you. Will you be my wifei
Maude CA. b., Harvard Annex, 'SS-No.
Harold. that can never be; but we shall
always bo brothers.
Rather Broad. say that
excessive coffee drinking induces soften.
ing of the brain. Miss Snyder-I sup
pose you regret now that you have been
such a slave to the habit.
The Want Supplied. - Poet-I have
here some verses would like to submit.
They are not perfect l admit; perhaps
they want fire. Editor - You are
quite right, sir, fire is what they want.
Up in Maine the husbands who kick
vigorously if their wives ask them to
carry home a package only three inches
square, will carry home a big heavy
Original package" without a murmur.
She (rapturously)- what is more en-.
joyable, more productive of ecstatic
bliss, than a walk on a moonlight night 2
He (slyly)-I don't know, unless it's a
walk on night when there is no moon.
Husband (solemnly)-I see there is
Grape on the door opposite.
Wife, have been expecting as much.
The doctors carriage has been there
every day for u week.-[L Lowell Citi-
zen.
Timely Word.-Mss Coonby lat 1.-THE
party ')-Why, Mr.. Mokcby, yo's JUS
dressed up to kill. Mr.. Mokeby Feeling
his pocket) -Golly! Dat JUS reminds
me, Miss Juliet; Use done ler my razzer
to home.
Too Generous-"I your husband very
generous man." Indeed he is. You
remember those nice cigars gave hin
for birthday present? We'll, he smoked
only one and gave all the Others away tt
his friends. y Epoch.
First Editor Qanguidly)-I saw an ex'
cellent thing in your paper yesterday
: Second Editor with animation)- Ha
That so? One of my editorials FRS
, Editor-No; recipe for making lobster
salad. 1t works like a charm.
Fatal Use of Slang. -She--How far il
: it from the sun to the earth, Mr.. Good
= catch? He-Now you've got me, mus
5 confess. She-Oh, I'm SO glad. Iva
, afraid at one time that hateful Fan Smith
3 ers would get you.-[Terre Haute Elk
press.
I At the Exhibition. - FIRST critic :
7 Magnificent truth to nature! Don't yo
3 think so?
Y Second Ditto "A real triumph {
q naturalistic art! Perfect! But what
X you think it represents? - lFliegend
! Batter.
knowledge is Power Uncle 'Rastu
are you afraid of ghosts?" "Yessir,
doan' like chooses. well, I merel
I wanted to warn you that my chicke
l. house was haunted. Haunted? N,
II sab, faint. done been dar fore di
9 honey. Judge.
- Mr.. Rich-I won't give anything fc
d that purpose. His son-in- law-Nov
~ come, be generous. l never knew yo
to give anything to the poor yet. "Yo
% didn't? Well think made the grea
=, est sacrifice of my life to the poor whe
:, lgave you my daughter
Mr.. consciousness is so brisk ar
correspondence accumulates SO that
fear I shall be obliged to employ 6
amanuensis. Mrs. Jones-Very wei
~ my dear, get an amanuensis il you mui
1t but decidedly object to your having
le womapnensis in the Office.
Fenderson-Had awfully hard lu,
D. this evening. Tried with all my mig
% to say something agreeable, but couldl
to do it, somehow: 50 bid them go,
s. night and went home. Fogg-And
you did succeed in saying somethil
n agreeable at last3 l congratulate 20
:. my boy.
IS When q scientific lecturer in Kentucl
declared that "ths AnAount of water
10 the surface Of the EARTH has been steadi
ut diminishing for many thousands of yea
pink nosed individual ON the back se
=. got up and hiccoughed: well, colon
:. you can't (hic) blame it On our Poop
N anyhow"
q. His Lordship-There's no lodging
7 you know, but one does miss the inf
:, ence Of leisure class over here.
:" She-But we have leisure class.
% His Lordship (suspiciouslyeI have
ID met them. Who are they?
She Our plumbers and messenl
i'd boya-[Life.