Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-09-05
PlTH AND POINT.

A route agent--The herb doctor
The baby's sash holds many pain
Washington Star.
The piano-maker works that others:
may play.--Philadelphia Times.
The dollar you take in is dwarf; the
one you pay out a giant. -Atchison Globe.
A report of an earthquake can hardly
be called groundless.-B RetJ
publican. y
1t is a strange fact that a man can best
be used as tool when he is dull.-CAi.
cago Globe.
"That is shear profit" said the far
mer, referring to his wool-clip. Pitts
burg Chronicle
Some women never would be happy,
even in heaven, if they couldn't get halo
of the latest style. ''-SomersWe Journal.
Angler-"Any fish in this brooke
Farmer-"I guess so. ! never saw no
one take any out. "-La,orencs american.
You doubt your love, yet still you WOO,
Although YOU know you'll rue it;
For while you know what you should do.
You've not the nerve TO DO it.
Charity begins at home, but it ends in
the poor-house-which is jolly good
reason for not putting up too much ON
it.-Puck.
He--''You never call me Birdie any
more" She-"Still I think YOU are
just as much of jay as ever. "-7e,rc
Haute Express. :.
What vast difference it makes with
the average man whether he picks up a
capet tack with his fingers or his heel
Ddnscilie Breeze.
A writer says: "Therc are some things
woman doesn't know" There may
be, but no man can tell her what thew
arc.-Neio York Ledger.
Beneath fair exterior
rascal often turks;
1t is true OF men and watches
You may tell them by their works.
Pittsburgh Bulletin.
"Scaggs," said Leak, sis fool"
"But, Leak" said some one, che says
you're fool" "Well," said Leak, tri-
umphantly, "who minds what fool
says?'- PHILADELPHIA Press.
A bright skowhegan boy, possessed
probably of more originality than studi-
business, gave Gill, sick, dead" when
called on by the teacher to compare the
word Gill. "-Le,eiston Journal.
Twas the prettiest purse that ever knew,
Tho with silver aud gold it was not laden;
1t was set about with rubies, too,
or'twas formed by the lips of n blushing
maiden.
West Shore.
''Heavens! You have been eating
pears, and now you have saucrkraut.
How will they go togcthcr2" ''That's
for them to settle. don't bother my
self about it. Fhegende Blaetter
Brake, brake brake,
Ye brakeman, uhereer you be,
But the name of the station you yell SO.
Is ne'er understood by me-
Philadelphia Times.
Cora-"Nliss Fussanfeathcr's hair usea
to be black. 1 see it has turned to a
chestnut. How do you account for
that2" Clara-"I believe she has been
using the funny papers to do her hair up,
in. "-iStatesman
Xantippe-"I declare, how cheerful
my husband looks o-day" mo Won
der, sister; you know to-day is election,
and the poor man is naturally delighted
to have his say about something. ~
FHegenae Blaetter.
lis there any cashier" he cried, Sin the
bank?''
And his voice was choked with fear,
While there fioated across from the Canada
A faint, far echo, "Here.p
philadelphia Times
John II. Curtis, of Portland, Me-, has
made one million dollars in the manufac-
ture of chewing gum. He is said to
have more girls working for him than
any other man in the country, and we
believe it.-Boston Globe.
'"Yon say that the young man hadn'ta
cent when ne marrieds Why, he was
left fortune only few months BEFORE,
Eyes, but his courtship was quite long
and he denied the young lady nothing
that her appetite craved. - MicaGo
Times.
The H0INnnn