The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-10-25
ON HAVING DISEASES


II = must extraordinary thlmS. but
never read a patent medicins advertise
ment without being impelled 70 the cOnclu-
son that am suffering from the particu-
lar disease therein dealth with in its most
virulent form The diagnosis seems in
svery case 10 correspond exscsly with ell
the sensations that have ever felt.
| remember going 70 the British museum
one day to read up the treatment for some
slight ailmeRt of which l had touch
hay fever | fancy IL was. I got down tho
DOCK, and read all came 70 read: and
then, In Al unthinkins moment. I idly
turned the leaves, and began 70 indolently
study diseases generally. l forgot which
was the nrst diStsmper I plunged into
some fearful, devastating scourge. know
AND. before had glanced half down the
list OF premonitory Symptoms. il was
/ borne IN upon me that had fairly got Il.
sat for while, frozen with horror; and
then. IN the hstlessness Of despair, again
| turned over the pages came to typhoid
fever-read the northumberland that
had typhoid fever, must have had IL for
months without knowing it-wonderei
what else / had got; turned up St. vitus'
dAnce-found, as 1 expected, that I had
that, tOO-began TO Est interested IN nv
tom, and SO started Rlphabetically-resd
up ague, and learned that was sickening
for it, and that the acute stage would com.
mence in about another fortnight. Bright's
disease, l was relieved TO find. had only
in modified form, and, 90 far as that was
concerned. I might live for years. Cholera
had, with severe complications; and diph-
liberia | seemed 20 have been born with.
plodded conscientiouSly through the twen =
ty-six letters. and the only mAlady could
conclude 1 had not gOt was housemaid'A
knee
felt rather hurt about this az first: IA
seemed somehow 10 be a sort Of slight
Why hadn't got housemaid's kneef Why
this invidious reservations After while,
however, less grasping feelings prevailed.
reflected that had every other known
malady in the pharmacology. and grew
less selfish, and determined 10 do without
housemaids knee Goat. ~ its most ma
hgnant stage il would appear, had seized
me without my being aware Of g.; and ~
mosis l had evidently been suffering with
from boyhood There were no more dis
eases after zymosis, 50 / concluded there
was nothing else the matter with me
sat and pohdeTed thought what an
point Of view, what al acquisition should
be 70 a class Students would have no need
to walk the hospitals" II they had me
was hospital in myself All they need
do would be 70 walk round me, and. after
that, take their diploma
Then wondered how long had % live.
tried to examine myself ! felt my pulse.
/ could not at first fosa any pulse at all.
all - "A 4 A. -
pulled out my watch and timed H.
made it a hundred and forty-seven to tho
minute. l tried to feei my heart ! could
not feel my heart IL bad stopped beating.
have since been induced 70 come to tho
opinion that it must have bscn there al
the time, aud must have been beating. but
cannot account for r.. ] nGttsd myself
all over my front, from what L call my
waist mp 10 my head, and | went bit
round each side, and little way MP tho
back But could not feel or hear any
thing. | tried 10 look at my tongue. I
stuck it out as far as ever IL would go and
shut ons eye. and tried 20 examine IL
with the other. | could only see the tip,
and the only thing that I could gain from
that was TO feel more certain than befors
that had scarlet fever.
had walked into that reading room
happy, healthy man. / crawled out do
crcplt wreck.
went TO my medical man He Il an old
chum Of mine. and feels my pulse, and
looks at my tongue, aud talks about tae
weather, all for nothing. when fancy I'm
III; so thought / would do him a good
turn by going 70 him now. what a doc.
TOR wants." | said, 'is practice. lie shall
have me. He will get more practice out OF
me than out Of seventeen hundred Of your
ordinary, commonplace patients. with only
1ne or two diseases each" 80 ] went
straight up and saw him, and he said.
We'll, what's the matter with you9"
said:
Il will not take mp your time, dear boy,
With telling YOU what is the matter with
ne. Life Is brief, and you might pas.
way before | had finished. But I viii
ell you " bat IS not the matter with me
have not got houscmaids knee Why
AVE not got hpuscmEid's knee cannot
ell you but the fact remains that have
Tot got IL. Everything else. however,
ave got 1t"
And l told him how came % discover
all
Then he opened me and looked down
ne, and clutched hold 81 my wrist. aud
hen he hit me over the chest when
wasn't expecting ia c0wardly thing To
10, / call it-aud Immediately aftsrward
.ut'ed me with the side Of his head
after that be st down and wrote ont .
description and folded 90 up and gave IL
be. and pat IL ia my pocket and went
a.
/ did not open f. Itook ito the nearest
hemists and handed b. in. The man read
and then handed ~ back
He said be didn't keep IL.
] said:
You are a chsmi-tf"
lie said.
81 an a chemist Ifivas a cooperative
tore and family hotel Combined / nighs
. able % obiigs sou. Being only a chem
u tampers me
j read tie prescription. II ram
ID beefstsHk. With
] - b.ttsF beer
every hours
] ten nns YAK every morning.
bed At 10 sharp ever ngtt
"a to3't ftuH ~ Jour had u4LE thl7gs ySa
% urSerztEhd
followed the directions wi'h che happy
for uy-sif-taat nay Ifs
as preserved sad - s.4I Ro.sg On
awreuoe L Is-urus5s f1ss-@ Men IL : I.s.as.
LOVES sSCR.FiCE5.
TaIs % EaE HaFboE.
PHriirN-A n.as1en.
Elg~lL.ar4-A Gar C'hat a ~tai ia oafes Q
- ~ re . a. ~ eay 60 bsJl
Sh@-FitzwI linUi. 10 - ug7F norfh sincs
~ ~ r-.-t nf-I a.L-l.Llr 81 a lL-l.a ne 49,