Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1890-09-25
PlTH AND POINT.

The difference between chef and
a Cook is that one is paid salary and
the other has TO sue for her wages
ElInira Gazette.
-Binks (who has just written nov
eD-"At last am in the eye of the pub
lic." Sneerwell-'sAh! So the public
has speck in it's eye, has it?"-Har-
per's Bazaar.
Cure for Friendship-''How is it
that Dumley and Mumley. who used to
be such close friends, are now enc
mies?" They started to room togeth-
er. "-Lawrence Advertiser.
-Hurly-"My wife has very strong
will" Burly-"Has?" Hurly-"Yes.
She and 1 quarreled once, and she said
she wouldn't speak to me for a whole
day; and, by Jove, she kept her word. !"
Yankee Blade.
shall married women teach? is
asked from Cincinnati. Why not? But
instruction after 1 a. M, when their
pupils are weary, should be prohibited
under the direst penalties.-Spokane
Spokesman.
When a man tries hard to impress S
you with the knowledge tina. he is
we'll connected, it may be taken for
granted that he feels the poverty of his
own worth, and banks mainly with bor-
rowed capital.-Ram's Horn.
Thought 1t Was to be Pawned.
Mrs. Cumso Ito maid)-''Norah, help
me off with my sack and hang it up"
Norah Ia recent acquisition) Faith,
an how much does yez want me to get
on it?"-Smith, Gray Sc Co.'S Monthly.
-Catskill Boarding house Mistress
''How do you like that water, Mr..
York;" Mr.. Yorlz-'It has a milky
taste to me-" clearinghouse Mistress
Excuse me, Mr.. York, that is the
milk you are tasting. Try the glass to
the left. "-Yonkers Statesman.
-Doctor-''You look thin, nervous
and tired out. What you want is to
out, and that sort Of thing" Patient
''Why, doctor, that is what have been
doing for two months" Doctor-"Ah?
Then that is what ails you. America
1t Sounded That Way, Anyway
New Teacher-''Now, little girl, what
is your name?" Pupil-"Lu La Loomis. :"
New Teacher-''You poor, suffering
little thing. And what is your first
name?" Pupil--''Why. Lulu. Smith,
Gray & Co. s Monthly.
-"What! Alone at dinner, Gertie?"
Yes; while we were boarding George
always dined with me, but now that
we're housekeeping, and do my own
cooking, he is SO busy at the Office he
hardly ever has time to come to home
meal at all '-Philadelphia Times.
Can you recommend me to an art
ist who can make a picture of my no.
tel?" Eyes. Try Smithkins. He's a
straigh forward. conscientious fellow"
Then he won't do. The hotel is on a
side street. / want picture of it facing
the square, with four-horse omnibuses
and barouches passing up and down. y
n. Y. Sun.
Rural Child-'T wish Aunty Brown
stone didn't love us so much" Mrs.
Hayseed-'La sakes! what a funny
wish! Why?" Rural Child-"'Cause
asked her why she didn't take US to the
theaters, and parks, and parties, and
operas, and such places, wen we visited
her in tn city, an she said it was cause
she loved us so much she was perfectly
contented to sit around home with u.s."
Good News.
MIR. Grea tfaith-s'Please, mum, my
wife's took sick, and as me ard her is
very religious, we want We to come an
pray fer her. We know y'r prayers has
cured many one afore, and we both
has an abidin' faith in tn power O.
prayer to cure all diseases witch us poor
sinful mortals is" Faith Curist-"T
will go to her at once. One dollar,
please. My terms are strictly cash in
advance" Mr.. Grea dollar!
Hang y'r faith cure! I kin git reg'l
doctor for two dollars. IN. Y. Weekly