Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1890-11-15
MIR. BOwsER's PORKER.

N. aNSR
knows what loving looks went after it
->O>
MIR. BOwSER'S POREER
Mira Bowser Relates Her Husbsnd,s
Experience as q Pig Raiser.
Prom the Detroit Free Press.
wagon from Q lumber yard delivered soma
boards and scantling at the barn the other day.
and, suspecting that Mr.. Bowser had some plot
on foot went out and asked the man IL no
hadn't made mistake.
This is Mr.. Bowser's place, isn't i2" he
asked.
yea"
Fat man, with bald hesd2"
"Yes"
walks around as IL he knew IL all and mo-
body else knew anything?"
Il Am Mira Bowser, sirT"
oh! Excuse me, ma'am- Yes, am sure
this is the right place"
"what did he buy the lumber for?"
the barn"
Every we'll"
When Mr. Bowser came home he avoided me
ior half an hour. and when finally cornered
him and demanded to know what sort OF an
addition he was going to make and for what
reason he replied
BE sensible now. Do you know that pork
mas gone up cents q pound?'
month" f
And it is bound TO 60 higher"
MI. boWser, have you gone and got another
Don't 60 of the handle now. n1can save
do it,"
'.Mr. Bowser, I'm astonished. You 20. pig
last year, and thought you had trouble enough
to last you lifetime"
The wrong breed, my dear. The man lied
70 me. he was Galloway instead Of q Dur
ham. I've struck the right kind of Q one this
timo, and got him cheap"
"How much?"
"0nly S."
"Mr. Bowser, I protest II anything happens
Blame your How could ~ or course not.
But nothing will happen-nothing but getting
barrel OF pork at about half price"
Next morning carpenter came and worked
lumber and nails. and il was over IS. while the
man charged S250 for his days work.
that's almost eli for your pig to begin
home.
That's all right, Mrs. Bowser. That ends
the expense. and the profits will soon begin 70
come IN. What is nicer than to go out into
your own back yard and see your own hog in a
pen! When we eat our own pork we shan't
worry about trichina or anything else."
Next day the pig came. That is they called
TIA pig. IL was in wagon. and two men
were sitting on IL to hold il down. heard OF
the pig three blocks away. lie bit one of the
men while they were getting him into the pen,
and, as they started to go, the bitten party said
to me:
ANY man as will buy and keep q hyena in
his back yard is no gentleman
The beast was no sooner in the pen than he
began dashlng from side 20 side like a viii
beast and at the same time uttering such
nuns and "hoots" that servant girl ham,
ing out clothes in a yard across the alley ran
into the house and tried to call the patrol
wagon. The beast finally bumped his head
| with such force as TO stun him, and for the next
TWO hours he looked careworn and sleepy
II his Is something like livingr exclaimed
MIR. Bowser as he stood beside the pen at noon
and rubbed his hands. IF We only had a COW
| and few hens we d be almost like farmers"
''What breed do you call this pig?" asked.
Lets see. Ii has slipped my mind No
matter, however. He's Of the right sort and
that's enough. Hes as content as q kitten in
an old shoe"
pen and made spring which almost lifted him
out and IL was accompanied by a sort Of roar
that made Mr.. Bowser dodge
"Are you sure It's pig?" asked.
"sure It's pigr Are you going crazy asain7
Give him a show. You'd probably act Just as
bad II taken nine miles from home and shut I'D
| in a strange house."
The pig behaved fairly well for the next
hour, but no sooner had Mr.. Bowser gone than
| he grunted, growled, screamed shrieked and
| raved until the racket brought half dozen
peddlers into the alley. 1 didn't hear what
they said-only what one of them said. lie
came to the side door in a very respectful way
| and said
I'VE have a dispute, madam, as to what that
thing Is out in the pen. The potato man saws
ITS cundurango, while the apple man says
it is a hudag."
Its pig, replied.
rs n "a
down. j think can remember IL I"
he went back and told the crowd that il was
pig and the convention broke ND in a row
just as Mr.. Bowser got home. For the next
Two hours the beast was very quiet, because
thoroughly tired out suppose, and Mr.. Bow
ser took advantage OF the fact TO rub his hands
and say:
You wait and in about week I'll show you
how to farm"
At 8 o'clock that evening. Just as some friends
bad come in. that pig uttered long, loud wall
that made the cook drop a platter. The wall
was followed by a series of barks and squeals
and something crashed against the back gate
and carried II into the alley.
GOOD heavens Bowser, but your lion has
escaped" called one of the gentlemen and ell
of us rushed to the back door.
The pig was gone. He had cleared the pen,
crashed through the gate, and we heard shrieks
afar on TO prove that he had come in contact
with something as he fed.
You'd better hire a place down town and
put your animals in cages" observed one of
the men. Il shouldn't want no half-tsmed
beasts around my house"
MIR. Bowser tried to laugh and Joke il of and
We got through the evening very pleasantly.
The door had only closed on our company,
however, when he turned on me with:
NOW, then, we'u settle our little matteri"
"What?"
swhat! What, About that hoer
'But the hog has escaped"
'Of course he has! You intended be should!
You were down on him and determined he
shouldn't stay. and you laid your plans &C.
cordingly! Mrs Bowser, you and can't"
Il had nothing to do with the hog"
Don't interrupt mel You can 60 to bed I
have little business on hand. / want to ar
range certain papers to be acted on in the
morning.
was sound asleep when he crawled into bed,
and next morning he hadn't word to say.
Even when the girl began splitting up the
boards Of the pig pen for kindlings he didn't
seem TO notice It
mn