davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1890-01-12

now here to join in the erection and use of
a union depot for passenger purposes, and
to have their freight depots on the out
skirts of the city.
S--The police force should be neatly
uniformed and be extended so as to give
protection to every municipal ward.
SUPPRESSION OF VICE.
9-Gambling houses and houses of i'll
fame should be suppressed, and both male
and female resorters to such places should
be punished with the full rigor of the law
LIQUOR.
love are opposed to the traffic in
liquor and favor the highest license prac
ticable, and the strictest execution of the
laws for its regulation.
ENFORCEMENT OF ORDINANCES.
IL All the ordinances of the city should
be vigorously enforced.
TAXATION ANDPUBEIC DEBT.
12-TaXes should be equal and uni
form, and limited to the necessities of mu
nicipal government economically admins
tered, and to the making of public i'm
prevements essential to the well being OF
the inhabitants and consistent with the
growth and development of the city.
1t is just that future inhabitants who
will enjoy the benefits of public improve
ments should assist in bearing the burdens
of their expense.
CONCLUSION.
The Peoples party pledges itself to this
platform, and to the maintenance and de
Tense of constitutional principles and the
rights of mankind, and will ever labor tc
promote universal liberty, civil, politica
and religious.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1890-01-12
a RObber.

Tie hour was late. A man stood at
tall desk, looking over an enormous
book. A rough looking fellow stepped
into the room, and, drawing a pistol,
said:
'Keep quiet"
Il am quiet" the man answered, with
out showing the faintest sign of emo
ton.
"All right; remain that way. l am
robber."
$50 am l." the man answered.
"What, you a robber!'
Eyes: have been appointed receiver
for this company"
'.Oh, is that fact? In that case,
must leave you. Inever beat man out
of his job. "-Arkansaw Traveller.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1890-01-12
TWO VOICES.

4 ball last night Priscilla gave,
And all were there, both saint and knave,
And girls, who yet untaught in signs,
Let laughter loose from lips and eyes,
Yet /, Priscilla's willing slave,
Cared not for girl, nor saint, nor knave.
But only for that moments space
When might look into her face
And tel the love herself must know,
And listen to her answer low.
Led on by thought of what's in store,
The foremost guest | reached her door.
Was ushered in, and heard the voice
Was wont to make my heart rejoice;
But changed; in tones no longer low.
AS was used that voice to know,
The frightened butler she upbraidS,
Then turns. full cry, upon the maids.
The guests arrive, and as go,
hear again those accents low.
The curtains up aud she's all smiles,
al loneliness and gentle wiles.
Too early once, but, thanks to fate,
For the peace of lifetime not too late.
r. NJ. +. in Life
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1890-01-12
TAKEN IN BY A HoksEMAN.
A Chicago Mans Matrimonial Venture
With a Pretty Widow.

A Chicago Mans Matrimonial Venture
With a Pretty Widow.
If live to be thousand years old I
shall never forget how stranger took
five of us in one day at Syracuse in a
manner SO slick that he walked off with
our cash before we had suspicion. It
was rainy, dismal afternoon, and a
dozen men-agents, drummers, drovers,
and others-were sitting about the Office.
Some one read newspaper clipping
about bigamist who had seven wives,
and pretty soon each one had an opinion
to advance. Finally well dressed, good
looking man ventured the observation:
81 myself could have married dozen
women on an hours notice It's all in
the first impression created"
Some agreed and some differed, and
the discussion began to assume more
vigorous tone. By and by the same man
again observed:
You may think me conceited, gentle
men, but I'm only telling you what /
know l can do. I've always had extraor-
binary luck with women. I'll venture
to say chat can go down to the depot,
pick out the best looking woman in the
waiting room, and, if she is not already
married, that can take her to the par
sons inside of an hour"
There was grand laugh at this, but
he looked very serious as he continued:
perhaps this crowd has some cash to
lose ON that? If so, let's talk business. "
After q bit we came to an understand
ing. Five of us were to chip in 500
each against $500 of his money. We
were to 60 to the New York Central de-
pot, select female, and if she prove to
be unmarried, he was to persuade her
into marriage inside of an hour, or for
felt his money. We could have raised a
thousand dollars as well as half that
sum, but he could not cover it.
s Nine of us went down to the depot
Among the waiting passengers were sew
genteen females, but on looking then
over our choice was limited to three
We finally selected woman we believed
to be widow. She was fairly hand
some, well dressed, and had two or three
parcels on the seat beside her. We go
seats near by, and then our masher APP
preached He asked what train sh,
was going out on, spoke about tn
weather, and, to our surprise, was no
rebuffed Within ten minutes he asket
if she was a widow, and she had scarce
ly answered in the affirmative when h
began to plead his case. 1t was onl,
forty minutes by the watch when h
came over to us and said:
Gentlemen, I'd like two or three O
you to accompany that lady and mysel
to the parsons as witnesses to our mar
riage."
) We went, and they were duly marie
and the stakes passed over. The lad
acted as coy and shy and embarrassed q
you please, and confessed that it was
case of love at first sight They took
train two hours later, and when the
were fairly off we learned that he was
5 horseman from Chicago, and that IL
woman had been his lawful wife for tL
past fifteen years.-New York Sun.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1890-01-12

Carrie came home from school the other
day rather depressed about her examination.
''How did you get on with your questionsF'
asked mamma.
"T'm not sure of but Just one question, but
l know got that right"
"What was it?"
how old was he?'
"And what was your answers"
"Oh, added 1S41 and 1888 together. It
made an awful old man. 1 guess it must have
been Methuselah. "-Harper's Young People.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1890-01-12

lvu remember the red headed boy at school,
who, when he happened to be knocked down,
would make out his injuries to be ten times
worse than they really were, and, blaming
some one, would go and try to have him pun
ished? He was chronic litigator in embryo
In later years, when counting some unfortu-
nate young woman, he always scrupulously
preserves her letters, with a view to suing her
for breach of promise if, when she discovers
MS true nature, she gives him the mitten. He
always frightens her into matrimony, which,
with him as a husband, is purgatory.
Some day he notices that the ceiling in the
parlor is about to fall. He doesn't inform
the landlord, but he says, LET it fall. If it
hurts the carpet or breaks the clock, we can
sue him for four or five hundred dollars"
If he discovers that there is a hole in the
asphalt OF a fitting plank on the walk, he
takes pains to fell into the former and break
his leg, or to step on the end of the latter and
let it fly up and hit him on the head, so that
he can 'sue the city for ten thousand. :"
And" he remarks to the doctor, '!nake
your bill all the heavier, SO that We can put
in big expense account"
He may be seen every noon on the street.
Waiting ON the sidewalk until the street is
crowded with vehicles, he will suddenly jump
into their midst, and, with most demoniacal
leer on his countenance, look at the drivers of
the drays and wagons, as much as to say,
"Run over me if you dare and I'll sue you"
| If his unfortunate neighbor is SO unwary es
to let a single chicken leap its confines and
scratch single worm out of the chronic liti-
gators garden, he is going to get sued. And
the itigator is always careful to plant his
best vegetables as near his neighbours hen
coop as he can.
Watch him on the railroad. When the
train happens to jar little and the engine
Whistles and every che thinks there is going
to be an accident, see the way his countenance
| lights up! He perceives chance for suit
against the road. And when it is ascertained
that only slight hitch has occurred and
everything is all right, lie sinks back into his
seat and solaces himself with reading the
court news.
Wherever he goes he is diligently Swallowed
by bevy of lawyers, who know that they
are going to have employment before night.
All the judges fear him, and every newspaper
office keeps his name Oh the standing galley,
with the court headings.
He may sue us for writing this about him.
Paul G. West in Lawrence American.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1890-01-12

Mrs. Kawler-Why, how exquisitely
your lrlor is furnished, dear! I think
those plush chairs are too sweet for any
thing. But what is that great, homely
hard wood chair? 1t is awfully ugly!
Mrs. Stayathome-Why, dear, that is
my mouse chair. Dear Arthur COM
planned that every time 1 jumped on one
of the nice chairs at seeing a mouse 1
spoiled it. So l had him get me this
one. O-o-o-hl There's one of the horrid
creatures, now! Jump up here with me,
dear!-Lawrence American.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1890-01-12
WOMEN SHOULD BE THANKFUL.

That buttons are made to button.
That bonnets are not as high as they
were.
That it is fashionable to be clean and
wholesome.
That the elderly man with a manner
is not laughed at but respected.
That bustles and reeds are gone and
women can sit down comfortably.
That the woman who is the most Quiet
in her manners and in her gowning is
best form.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1890-01-12
TOnsorial Item.

Judge (who is bald headed If half
what the witnesses testify against you Is
true, your conscience must be as black
as your hair.
Prisoner-If mans conscience is reg
ulated by his hair, then your honor
hasn't got any conscience at all.-Texas
Sftnas
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1890-01-12

An Englishman, who had been invited
to dine with Prince Kaunitz, had the
misfortune to upset glass of wine on
the table.
''Is that the custom in England?'' in
quired German princeling.
Not in the least abashed, the English
man replied:
''Not exactly: but when it does hap
pen nobody makes a fuss about it,
Daheim
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1890-01-12
THE CHRONIC LITIeAToR.

& Character That All OF Us Know and
Well, Not Exactly Love.
This world of ours is peopled with men OF
all sorts and conditions, and there would be
q vacancy in the ranks If the chronic litigator
should become an obsolete being, with moth
ing but big Latin name and mendacious
tombstone epitaph by which to remember
him.
You all know him-every one knows him,
and very few people have escaped him. He
begins, when a boy. on his fiendish career,
and never ceases until death has overpowered
him, and perhaps not even then
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1890-01-12
Too Hasty.

Police Judge Ito park policeman
Why did you arrest this young couple?
Policeman-They came into the park
late in the evening, sat down on bench
in the shadow Of tree, and then they
two caressed.
Judge-They took rest, did they?
Well, what is a park bench for except to
take rest on? Never take arrest on
such grounds as that. Discharge the
prisoners.-Texas Siftings.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1890-01-12
Ths Wiles of Avarico.

They we're talking about the petty
depredations of servants.
'Do you know what old Skinfint used
to do to tell whether his maid servant had
been stealing sugar."
"No; what did he do?"
"Why, shut up fly inside the bowl.
If it was still there on his return, he
knew that the cover had probably not
been very long off. Judge.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1890-01-12
Old Soldiers,

First Old Campaigner lin London)--Did
you go to the lord mayors show this
year, colonel.
Second Ditto-Well, no, not exactly,
dear boy, but I've very pleasant recollec-
tons of it. Fact is, was in my bankers
when it passed down the Strand, and, in
the excitement of the moment. the cashier
cashed my check. dear boy, without re-
ferring to my account. That's what
call luck, dear boy.-Judy.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1890-01-12
She misunderstood.

Lady Ito tramp)-Are YOU going Off
You promised before l gave you your
dinner that you would saw some wood.
Tramp (from Boston)-Yes, madam;
but you err in assuming that the words
necessarily apply to your wood. The re-
mark has reference to the woodpile of
another lady further up the road. Good
afternoon. Jury.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1890-01-12
A Lnsus Nature.

And who mought that be!" asked the new
cook, who was being shown through the
rooms by the chamber maid while the family
were at dinner, as they stopped before a por-
trait of the owners father taken when he
was between % and 90
why, that's masters father
"Lawh's massy! Well, l never did ear
of father bein' younger than his son. y
T,,r.,D
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1890-01-12
Tho Clock s,oaa1ea In Private Affairs,

Biddy- Shure, mum, an If yez don't
be afther takin' the clock out av the
kitchen OH lave yez. It be afther in
sultin' me beau.
Lady-Why, how can the clock insult
anybody?
Biddy-Shure and before Patrick had
been IN the house foive minutes it said
Cook coo!'-Jeweler's Weekly.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1890-01-12
A DESIGNING Man

Miss Sowah-There goes that designing
man. Mr.. Nild1nan Mall, across the street.
Miss DesigningI Why. haze
always heard him spoken of in the high
est terms. | never suspected him Of
underhandedness.
Miss Sowah-I didn't mean that. He
is an artist.-National Weekly.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1890-01-12
He Couldn't Stand 1t.

Valet beg pardon, sir; but 1 shall be
obliged to give up my position with you at
the end of the month, sir
Employer-Why, l thought you and were
suiting each other very well, Tim. What's
amiss?
Valet can't stand the cigar smoke, sir.
Employer-Bless me! l can't see how ii
can be Objectionable to you. 1 smoke moth
ing but imported cigars, and as you are 9
smoker yourself
Valet-That's it, sir, that's it! That's Just
wot makes it aggravatin' You never Offer
me one, sir.-Munsey's Weekly.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1890-01-12
A Tragedy of the Conservatory

1t was cool in there, when the waltz was >,one-
All green, with the moonshine through it.
Somehow, was tempted to steal-just one.
Don't know how came TO do it.
She took it nicely-indeed, her glance
Had o certain expectancy to it;
Could it possibly mean, Make the most OF you
chance,
Now, now is the time to do it,
Her cheek had the tiniest tinge of rose,
Shed have answered ''yeS"-and knew it:
But she seemed so ready to hear me propose,
That somehow
l didn't do it. Time
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1890-01-12

Diminutive Chap rising)-Take my seat,
miss.
Young Lady-Thank you, little boy. You
may sit on my lap.
Diminutive Chap Gin deep bass voice.
My daughter over there wouldn't like it,
miss
Young lady faints. l-Chicago Tribune.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1890-01-12

Mrs. Stone-It was taken when was
IS, doctor; but, alas! / have changed
since then.
DIR. Littlebat (who never allows a
wealthy patient to fish in shallow waters)
Changed! Yes, but how improved!
Eighteen is such lanky age.-Rochester
On. Y Jury.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1890-01-12
A Cruel Glow

Dunwiddic-I wish | weah 4 pawwot, Miss
Wandall
Miss Rsndall-But just think how you'd
have to WORK!
Dunwiddie-Pawwotsd don't woik
Miss Randall-No; but you'd have to-that
is, if you wanted to learn to talk.-Judge.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1890-01-12
The vernacular of the Eating House.

Old Gentleman-rll have a nice rump
steak, waiter-rather underdone-and
potatoes and greens; and after that I'll
have-er-let me see-yes-an apple
dumping.
Waiter-Yessir (bawls lofty STEAK
under and wedge; dump to foller.-
Judy.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1890-01-12

Indignant Mother-Rastus, when air
you gwinter begin chopping dat wood?
Rastus-Jess as soon as de leabes
grows on dat tree so hit will frow a
shadder. Don't 'spect me ter sweat my
self ter def working in de hot briling
sun, does yer?-Texas Siftings.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1890-01-12
Wanted to Wait Awhile.

Little Louise was told that her grandma
had died and had gone to heaven, and was
asked If she didn't want to be in heaven with
her.
We'll, replied the little one, Il would like
to live with grandma, but don t want to go
50 early boston Herald
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1890-01-12
No Beatin. About the Bush.

You may kiss him for his mother"
The widow sweetiy said,
AS she sent her little hopeful,
Reluctant, of to bed.
EBut think you should consider,
While thus you're tempting fate,
Whether il would not be better
To kiss his mother straight"
Lawrence American.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1890-01-12

Fiancee (of wealthy but ugly MANI
Have you shaved?
Eyes"
"Have you plenty of perfume on?''
Eyes"
mo tobacco in your mouth?"
"No."
well, then, you may his; ~ ,,oodle."
Pick DE Up.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1890-01-12
why the Bell Rang.

She-Why IS that bell ringing
Cant you sees It's raining,
Bat that doesn't answer my question"
It doesn't, eha The bells wringing wet
curse Lawrence American.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1890-01-12
An UnIuckY Present.

Blanche-I hear that young Mr. Dolley
made you q present of book last night,
Amy9
Amy-Yes, and hate him.
''That's strange"
mo, it isn't! He brutally and causelessly
insulted me-. The book is called How to Be
Beautiful. '"-Munsey's Weekly.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1890-01-12

Amy-What an absurd habit that is of
young Dalley's - always sucking his
cane.
Susie-I think it is a good plan. 1t
keeps him from talking, you know
Life.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1890-01-12
Pursuing His Studies,

81 don't see your son about any
where" said travelling man to mer-
chant whom he had called ON. els he
out of the city?"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1890-01-12

All orders given our drivers will receive
PROMPT attention. Troy Steam Laundry.
142 Main street
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1890-01-12
PEOPLES PLATFORM,
The Document Adopted By The
Convention.
DECLARATION OF PRINCIPLES.
The People and the Liberals Compared
Pledges Made-PrOmises That Will
Be Fulfilled

After long and careful discussion the
Peoples municipal convention adopted
the following platform. 1t speaks for
itself:
The Peoples party of Salt Lake city, in
convention assembled, present the follow
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1890-01-12
Pursuing his studies?"

Pursuing his studies!"
II think he is pursuing his studies,
out from what l can hear don't think
he has much chance of catching up to
them. Merchant Traveller.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1890-01-12
STREET IMPROVEMENTS.

streets, water bitches and sidewalks should
be permanently established; the corners Of
blocks and grades of streets indicated by
suitable corner-stones, and all improve
ments made to conform thereto.
The streets and sidewalks should be per
manently graded aud improved, with good
material, as fast as possible upon an
equitable and definite plan, and all bridges
and culverts should be the full width OF
the streets and sidewalks.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1890-01-12
Kind.

"A bloated bondholder. -Scribner's
Magazine.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1890-01-12
CHINESE HAVE WASHED THEIR HANDS
SOME coon WAR sHIPs

SOME GOOD WAR SHIPS
but as soon as gun was fired at any of
their ships, all of their naval officers and
sailors would run ashore'
How about the present king of Corea
Where do his revenues come from?"
mo one seems to know where they come
FROM SAID Admiral Shufelt ''There is a
sort OF system of taxation in the country
and some OF the taxes are paid in kind and
some in copper cash. The King himself
has immense private estates and / doubt not
that he has a lot of money in the palace.
Corea has great possibilities, both agricul-
turally and minerally, and the gold output
of the country is great. The gold mines
belong TO the King, and / remember once
when going from Gensan, the western pa t
OF the country, around to Fusaw that we
carried $4,000 in gold dust
THE KINGS TREASURY IN THE PALACE
in all probability contains great amount
of gold, dust and there is no doubt but that
he will have enough to live on whether he
abdicates or not. AS to the distribution of
the rev enue l am not certain according to
what principle it is divided but
the supplies of the foreign Office
seem to have been decidedly low and
there has been some complaint about the
payment of our officers ] do not Doubt
but that the King intended to have paid his
debts promptly, but Americans are not ac-
&rtomed to the slow methods of the east
aud those of the officers who were coming
hbme were very much disguised by not
receiving their salaries on every pay day.
l understand that the Coreans are very
fond of General Dye and that they.will
keep him. hope that the United States
will stand up for the independence of
Corea though / hardly expect to see the
state department do sou
FRANK G. CARPENTER.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1890-01-12
STREET LIGHTING

8 We favor a thorough system of
anitation-sewers for the business and
thickly peopled portions of the city, deodor.
ization and removal of focal and all kinds
of waste matter from other parts, under
the supervision of efficient officers
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1890-01-12
PUBLIC BUILDING:

RAILROADS.
Good railroad facilities are ne
cessary to the growth and development of
the city and the convenience of its inhabi-
tants. But rights of way for steam rail
roads through our streets should only be
granted where absolutely necessary, and
then in such manner as to cause as little
injury and inconvenience to theinhabitants
as possible, and only on the consent of IL
two thirds majority of the owners of real
property fronting on the street. No ex-
elusive street franchises to railroads
should hereafter be granted, but all steam
railroads coming in or going out of the city
in the same direction should so far as prac-
ticable use the same right of way, and no
side tracks should be allowed ON the streets.
Forfeiture of franchise should follow
persistent neglect to comply with its terms.
No freight trains should run through popu-
lous parts of the city and no cars should be
pnloaded or left standing on the streets or
sidewalks.
All railroads should conform to the
proper grade of the streets, which should
be kept graded up to the top of the rails and
the street crossings of all railroads should
be planked the full width of the streets and
sidewalks. =, -
We pledge ourselves to lend our aid and
influence to induce all railroad companies