Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1890-05-01


scotch brain Averages - ounces. the En-
gliSh ~ ounces. the German 4s.3 ounces
ana the French 40 ounces. Sir James j.
a >cotchman. which accounts for the po-
>ition Of that race at the head of the
cereh"llic procession.
senator Vests funny speech about Chi
cago will DE understood in Missouri. where
Mr. Vest i working hard to succeed him
sell in his present office. But. unfortu-
nately. the Mi>>ourians like serious
man. They are not "A humorous people
senator Cockrell j. their beau ideal Of a
statesman.
u j. the recognized duty of all good
/ Americans Ia keep their minds perfectly
clear a. 10 the base ball records of the
summer. The effort 10 do So last year.
when There We're but Two associations To
follow. induced National thinness which
threatens tu become emaciation this year
when We lind a tangle of four Ia contend
with.
y Norwegian sailor named Sundswall
j. Hon OF london society lust now. lie
naNigatcd a small boat from ChriStiania
IN Norway 10 the Thames, single handed.
and thinks of continuing his cruise Ia the
l hlted states. MIR. >und>wall will not be
much Of a curiosity here. We have Mis-
sl>sippi Hood sufferers Whu can navigate
an}W here un claphnard
Atthc Walton Noazev uuptials inWash-
ington a few DAYS ago the bridal boquct
Was composed uf i've small bouquets tied
together. Ia one Of which WIS concealed
a ring. The bride separated these a. she
went upstairs and threw one to enrh of
The bridesmaids. Miss .lancttc llalford.
daughter Of secretary IIalfnrd. caught
the one containing the ring aud every
on began Specializing IN the Significance
of the fact.
Aniiquarian> " ho have lately unearthed
the Temple of Bel. in MeSopotamia. found
a tablet Of time 3.a5p years H. G. on
which was the picture of an ass. The
p"uple OF thai age probably thought he
would soon be- extinct aud therefore de-
cidcd 10 preserve his picture for future
generations but Tor save EN-. the as
still lives aud uutnumber- the dandeions.
Detroit Free Press.
thazcs. Byron's old boatman. has lust
died az Mi>solunghi Al the age of eighty
seven. ~ order of the king h. was given
noble funeral al the public expense
haNc~ was one Of the heroes of het.rcek
War oi Independence. lie knew most of
Byron works by heart aud would spout
whole passages Of ''Childc Harold while
paddling hi~ hpai around the Lagoon Of
MiSsol1nghi.
In one of the upper countries Of Michi-
gan woman with one child was insulted
by a woman with seven children. The
one horse One-child woman. We mean
took her little dear 10 Wisconsin exposed
him 10 the whooping cough. and then re-
turned and pushed him through the line
fence. The seven children now whoop.
Yell cough. and kick. aud the mother
says she had rather been struck by light
ming.
James Pollock. cN-tiovernur Of Penn
syivania, Who died ~ Lock Haven Sat
hrday; was the first man to urge congress.
ni which he was a member forty years
ago. 10 build Pacific railway. lIr pre-
dictcd Ia lsis that railroad uniting Kew
\ ORR aud san Francisco would DE built 4
WITHIN twenty years The road was
finished Ia ls'i9 aud Mr.. Pollock passed
over y Two years later. and an ovation
was gwen MN ~ san Francisco ~ the
prophet Of the Pacific railroad.
\ Pittsburg drummer went intoa Cleye-
land shop To talk steam engines Ia the
proprietor. \ pretty little woman en-
iered 81 The same lime. aud the drummer.
'uppnShg was the propriet0r's daugh-
Ter stepped aside and allowed her To pass
lie was amazed when she opened the con-
'ersation by inquiring after the health of
lis steam gnages. and he nearly had n ,
.troke Of apopleXy when she took an or
Ter Tor lot Of steam fixtures. She smiled
~ y" olhef drummer as she tripped ut
md made him wish he was dead
The statement is made that Mexican
las solved the problem Of preventing rail.
oad conductors from hanging np fares.
marhi looking like a typewriter is
arfied through the ears. The photograph
! each passenger is taken the amount of
w. ticket j. inscribed and his name il
finied. The device is incomplete. ~ II
thought desirable 10 obtain the weight.
g. and profession Of each passenger.
tth such other biographical data a. NAV
+ Interesting. Perhaps passengers who
oh a. though they need Il may be- given
shower-bath under this new system.