Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1890-09-19
MUMOR OF THE DAY.


Watcred silk-An umbrella.
A backing box-One in the eye.
A skylight-The sun.-Prison Mirror.
The silent majority is not the popular
side.
Charged with dynamitc-A party who
gets the explosive on stick. ."-Dctrom
Free Press.
With the angler it is more a matter of
knowing just when than just where to
draw the line.-Detron Free Press.
81 tell you, travel develops man. II
he has anything in him it's bound to
come out in travel" ''Particularly ocean
travel. ."-Puck.
The patient horse has endured for ages,
but the patient wagon has been known
only since the introduction of the ambu-
lance. e.-Elmira Gazette.
She Cat the piano. Listen !-how do
you enjoy this refrain!" He-"Very
much. The more you refrain the better
l like it."-.Nusical Courier.
Speak lovingly, my dear girl. If you
should have to eat your own words, you
know, they'd taste all the better for
being sweet.-Boston Transcript.
He-"The fools are not all dead yet"
She-"That's as true as you live" And
he couldn't understand why she empha-
sized the 'you. ."-Ne'o York Herald.
Cumso-"J "Jaysmith is penurious, isn't
he2" Fangle-''I should say he was!
He won't even laugh at joke unless it
is at some one else's expense. "-Epoct.
He was from far off England,
And he loved with VOWS in sighs
And while he dropped his ''h's"
Why, the maiden droppsd her eyes.
philadelphia Times.
A learned writer declares that butter
was unknown to the ancients. This
makes it harder than ever to account for
the flavor of some we have tasted. Her
curry.
"Gentlemen," said the orator, ego
along our wharves from one end to the
other, and what will you fnd?" Water"
remarked the practical young man in the
crowd.-LigM.
"Who is happy on this mundane
sphere" sneeringly exclaimed Pessimus.
"The girl with her first engagement
ring" triumphantly replied optimus.-
.Jemelers' Circular.
Judge you ever seen the pris-
oner at the bar9' Witness-"Never,
your honor; but I've seen him when l
strongly suspected he'd been at it,
Binghanaton Leader.
Bloodgood-"It'sd dreadful to suffer
from loss of memory, isn't ita" Wild
man-.Dunno. 1t depends on how
much money fellow has borrowed. =
Burlington Free Press.
Robinson Crusoe-"Well, Friday, what
have we for dinner to-days" Friday
"Goat soup, goat chops, boiled goat, roast
goat" Robinson Crusoe-''Don't,
Friday; can't go't!"-Puck
A German scientist is couident that
chemistry will yet enable us to make
bread out of wood. American lumber
men not only make their bread out of it,
but their butter also.-Ne,o York. Ncscs.
1t happened one time that Mr..
Fell in love with maiden and kr.
And ne SAID, "be my WIG
And bring joy to my lifep
She said mo, but will be your sr."
--Chicdgo Post.
Chicago Teacher-"Yes,c ,corned beef is
one of our most famous exports. Now,
who can tell me what stands next to
corned beefl" Boston Little Boy (tri-
umphantly) = cabbage. = american
Grocer.
"Papa's Home Tonight" is the title of
a new song. So the old man has yielded
at last. Let's see, it must be about ff-
teen years since they began to coax him
with Father, Dear Father, Come Home"
Chatter.
The conversation turned on the danger
of being buried alive, when the youngest
toddler in the family ventured to suggest,
"Well, ma, you never will be buried
alive. You snore so when you are
asleep. p."-HarUord Post.
Inventor-"I would like to interest
you in little invention by which sheep
can be shorn by electricity" Broker
(turning tn the ticker and looking at the
quotations) -"My dear sir, that's just
what l am doing. "-Teras Sytings.