The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1890-12-10
WIT AND HUMOR.
A rose by any other name has just
8 many thorns - Ashland Press

IA EUS0 ny any QUIET HdIlo Has JuSb
as many thorns. Press.
One touch of ill-nature makes every
mean man a skin.-Neg0 Orleans Ped
yu'ae.
The faster a man runs in debt the
less he is apt to get ahead.-Etna'rG
Gazette.
There's wide difference between a
self-made man and a summer-maid
man. Washington Star.
Motto of the campaign orators: I'VE
push the button, the people do the
rest. - Minneapolis Journal.
No complaint is made about short
measure when we have a peck of
trouble.-Pitts6urg Dispatch.
The decline of literature-The print
ed blank that accompanies rejected
manuscript.-St. Joseph NeaOs.
We may shut our eyes to painful
truth; but we don't shut our ears-if
it's about somebody else.-Puck.
After soldier has had two or three
months of warfare it must do him good
10 eat little peace meal. Biaghamtos
Republican.
There's one thing about self-made
men; if they go to the bad they can't
fall back on the old gag about original
sin.-St. Joseph Neaos.
More rejected manuscriptw ex-
claimed the young man. disconsolately,
when his love letters were returned to
him. Washington Post.
Yale has adopted new rules and a
new game of football. This may re-
quire new professors in the college
NeU Orleans Picayurae.
II am accused of possessing talent" ="
said conceited man. "If you are
ever tried you'll be acquitted, replied
Jay-''Well. by Jove, Jones. how
are youP How you have changedr'
Stranger-"But my name isn't Jones. !"
Jay-"What, your name changed,
tooP"-Wasp.
"Why did you yell Hay at the horse
carp" In the hope that the horses
would hear me and stop. The driver
wouldn't pay any attention to me."-
Harper's Bazar.
Cumso-''Brown is using fish diet
to benefit his brain.n Banks Well;
judging from the present condition of
his intellect it must be weakfish he is
living on."-Figaro.
Customer-.'My watch which you
repaired for me some time ago has
stopped" Jeweler-"Ah!my collector
informs me that the bill is still rum
ming. IN. 7. Herald.
Sniggins (angrily)-"Do you know
that your chickens come over in my
yard?" Snooks-'I supposed that
they did, for they never come back
again. IN. 7. Herald.
De Mascus-sI hear poor White is
lying at the point of DEATH" St. Age
Lying, ehp Well, well; the
ruling passion strong in death, you
know.n-St. Joseph Nea0s.
Aren't you ever overcome by some
underlined longings, Mr.. Snapley?"
Him! No. I have much more
trouble with very clearly y-detined short
nesses. ."-Harpe1's Bazor.
Old Mr.. Close Hello, doctor! o,
by the way. what ought to take for a
bad coldP" Physician (who knows
Close)-''You ought to take medical
advice. ."-Mu'ssey's Weekly.
AL OOCld10S IudL IL WAS uOU
until he first partook of the dish called
hash that he realized the force of the
expression, Everything comes to him
who ates. y Washington Post.
Wickwire-''I hear you have sworn
off," Nudge yep. 1t was begin
ming to affect my mind. Every time 1
got little full l wanted to discuss the
tariff. Indianapolis Journal.
McCorkle-.'They say that Snooper
finds it difficult to keep his head above
water" McCrackle-''That does not
surprise me at all. He is a native of
Kentucky."-DrGke's Magazine.
'Will you trust me- darlingP" 'fYes,
Edward, till DEATH" With deep emo
ton the gallant youth enveloped her
in his arms. And thus another envel-
ope trust was formed. -PhilddeEplttG
Times.
There will be an oyster party at
the rectory next Thursday" announced
the minister, land one of our kind
parishioners has offered to provide the
oysters for that occasion. IN, 7.
World.
MY husband is. a, great inventor.
said one woman to another. Il hadn't
heard OF it, Yes; I believe he can
invent more different kinds of excuses
than any other man alive. Wdshieg-
ton Post
First What have you been
tired" Second Tramp-'Thats just
what 1 am. I've been looking at
picture of man saving wood. -
Detroit Free Press.
Judge-''You confess to having
stolen the money, do you? Well. have
you any exonerating circumstances to,
offer?" Culprit- your honor,
my grandfather was an alderman, -
ST. Joseph Mes0s.
Wadleigh-'.Do. you know they saw
that the man who wrote that i'm
menseiy popular song, Annie Rooney
never got anything for itp" Smiley
"Fhat's wrong, isn't it? He ousht to,
have got ten years. ."-AmericG. -
She-'How charminglE Mr.. Gablex
talks, Mr.. Greeneye,, There appears
to be no subject he, is not informed
on" He [naadly JEALOUSY Says a
inherciss the. gift; his, ancestors y ,ere
BARRIERS. you know. .'"-Iae Jester
:
Store Clerk-'B of tra-yelp Yes
sir. Here is something just ont How
to See Europe on Fifty Gents Day.
SustomerEnems Gust me How to s, ave you any
Fifty Cents a Day's" Good Nes0s.
a certain city physician with sport
ing proelivities did the best shooting
ON the Easte' IN Shore recently and
boasted OF - to his companion. mo
wonder, was the others comment
look at. your practice. Philadelphia
Times.
Jaysmith-'I ought not to have bet
that $13. 1 might have known woult
lose it. It's an unlucky number.
Cumso-"Nonsense The man wht
won it bet $13, too, didn't hep" Jay
smith-'.No; he gave odds. He be
$26."-Rdcbet.
Mrs. Tangle Ito hired girD-.'se'
here, Bridget. let me. be hired girl fo
awhile. and you shall be the lady o
the house." Bridget-"All right