Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-03-30
or to Try His New Joke.

ereign across the Atlantic
or to Try His New Joke.
UTHIs last witticism was original with Roach.
He knew it and was proud of it. While
the laugh was going around at his repartee !
slipped away and went down to the Office of the
LAWYERS, Howe & Hummel where l knew Mr..
Roach was expected in less than halt an hour.
told Roach's story to Howe. to Hummel. and
also to their clerk, and suggested that when
Roach came in and started to tell the story, as
be undoubtedly would, that they anticipate
him. MIR, Roach came into the lawyers office,
and in about two minutes led the conversation
around to Washington.
He began: You know the old story about
George Washington throwing the silver dollar
across'-when he was suddenly interrupted.
oh, Roach, for Heavens sake don't give US
that old chestnut Yes. but wait; of course l
know that that is a CHESTNUT said Roach, but
you see have to refer to that first, SO as to
introduce an improvement on the old story
What? You don't mean the appendix to
the silver dollar story about George throwing
British Sovereign across the Atlantic"
'.Mr. Roach almost tainted. He could not
understand how 1t was that they could know
the British Sovereign story which he had only
half an hour ago evolved out of himself. He
went into the inner room in an angry mood
and began telling the story to Hummel. Before
he had got half through the silver dollar part
Hummel said Roach, l have known you for
years as one of the brightest and most original
that decrepit old chestnut of the red sandstone
period, about George Washington throwing
British Sovereign across the Atlantic, shall
certainly ask you to desist; otherwise, we shall
not speak as we pass by"
One of Dewolf Hopper's Stories.
DEwoLF HOPPER told this on John r. Rog-
ers, Minnie Palmer's manager.
Calcraft, who used to act in the Dog STAR"
owed Rogers $50 and the latter had judg
ment for the amount.
Now 1 am tired of waiting" said Rogers, as
he met Calcraft some time ago on upper Broad
way, land you've got to pay the money right
away or something will happen"
why. really" said Calcraft, with a bland
smile, II haven't got the money on me, my
boy. but" as if struck with sudden insDira-
you if you'll come with me-"
Where to, and how far?'
ITO the drug store, about three blocks from
here. The owner is friend of mine and will
lend me the money, but we'll have to hurry, as
want to catch that 4;5O New Haven train"
Conciliated with a prospect of getting his
money, the creditor readily accompanied Cal
their entrance to be fairly filled with custom
ers. "Confound it." said Calcraft, lust my
luck, and am in a hurry, too. must see Mr..
Smith and explain my errand" He stepped
where the proprietor received him with a cor
dial smile. Calcraft held a whispered CONVEX
sation with Mr.. Smith. frequently indicating
Then be called Rogers up to the desk, as he
glanced at his watch.
MIR. Smith will fix that with you he said:
II must run to catch my train now. Bye-bye,"
and off he went
That's all right sir" said the druggist in
kindly tone to the creditor. lust sit down a
few minutes and 1 will settle that affair of
yours"
A Slight Misunderstanding.
John R. ROGERS sat down with sigh of re-
lief and waited 10, Is, 20 minutes. At the
end of that time the druggist joiced him and
motioned him to follow into private room,
where, after closing the door, he told him to be
seated.
Now SIR" he said cheerily. ''how long has
this affair been going on?"
"Oh, guess it's over year now"
"Over year? We'll for heavens sake why
didn't you come to me before? l could have
fixed you mighty quick. Anybody in the busi-
ness could have given you advice"
advice be hanged. 1 want money 1 am
tired of advice"
"But haven't you got money enough to pay
for advice?' asked the druggist cautiously.
Certainly have. But what's the use of
throwing good money after bad? have a
Judgment against him and that's enough"
Against whom?"
Against Calcraft. of course"
what for?'
"Wnat for9 Why for the $50 you are to pay
me-"
"Me to pay youp' calculated the astonisbed
druggist, rising from his chair. "See here,
what are you talking about, mani"
II am talking about my $50" Numbered the
now wrathful Rogers, land 1 heard you dis
tinctly say that you would settle that affair Of
mine."
Listen" gasped the druggist, ''are you mad
or am 1? don't know that man from Adam.
He confided to me that you were suffering
from sleeplessness and hypochondria, and
I'D oIrvina Aiafr
word about money, but understood from him
that you would pay well for treatment"
How Billy Florence Was Sold.
"WHhE was in London" said Billy Flor
ence the other evening, II had great
fondness for going out to the old historic
places in the suburbs. One day 1 was out at
Hampton Court, where may say, any fellow
with a taste for the beautiful in art and nature
can enjoy himself. The weather was warm and
fine, and the roads were somewhat dusty, so 1
was nothing lOath to turn into one of the many
inns with which the palace is surrounded.
and quench my thirst. l ordered foaming of
bitter beer and sat down at little table IN a
small and very dingy room. The only other oc-
cupant of the apartment was somewhat mill
tary looking gentleman, long past middle age.
After scanning my features intently for some
little time, the gentleman left the table at
which he sat, and drew his chair up to mine, at
the same time remarking: Have l not the
honor Of addressing Mr.. Florence. the Ameri-
can comedianp
"You have" in friendly tone, shut you have
the advantage of me. for do not remember to
have ever seen you before"
mo-" answered the stranger, 81 don't think
you ever met me, and the fact is l only knew
you through a photograph in the possession of
q professional friend OF mine"
'.You are in the profession then ~ asked,
perfectly ready to fraternize with a fellow
actor.
i am stage director of the STANDARD" he an
swered readily.
"Oh, indeed" I responded. "Let US shake
then and have a friendly glass together, Mr..
"Wilkins," put in the stranger.
fnr