davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-02
BRIGHT BITS.

A WESTERN CONTEMPORARY speaks in q chatty
way of hours with Gladstone We would not
OBJECT to taking ours with Gladstone, only we
didn Z know the G. o. NJ. was incline that way.
Philadelphia Press.
HERR PFITzENHAUsER-Xou AMERICANS vas
pretty goot in some things to make, but you
cannot liInburger make like the Cnermans can.
Pemiow-But you must bear in mind that this
country is only little more than century old.
-IeTTe Hdttte Express
MEs. FIGG-Is Mr. Peck at the lodge this
evening?
Mrs. n. Peck-No: he's down town getting
drunk. always let him have this day for his
own enjoyment. It's our welding anniversary,
you know.-Ierre Hdute Express.
IAN the speaker of this house, said Jennie's
papa, in no uncertain tones and shall notify
that young man of yours that when / make a
motion to adjourn it doesn t require second in
will be made at 10 O'Clock p. IN. sharp. "-Mln-
neupoIis Times.
DREADEUL.-''Why did you leave your last
placer
The missus called me Names"
W hat did she call your"
she said were a domestic, mum; and me as
hardworkin' and honest q woman as ever lived. =
Hdt1oer's Bdzdr.
BOBBY GAzzAM Ito Mr. SUBWAY, who is spend
ing the evening)-Won't you show me your
fiddle, some time please?
Sumway-Fiddle, Bobbyi have no fiddle.
BOBBY GaZzam-O, yes. you have. Papa says
you've played second fiddle ever since You got
married. colby (KanJ Thomas Cat.
A Practical DEMoNsrRATE.-Knogg
discovered the origin of the proverb: Care will
kill a cat. -
Boggs-It must be very old.
hnoggs-It was very old, and after carefully
trying six times to drown it, | took care enough
at last, and killed it.-Detroit Journal
A SAD CAsE.-Jones-There has not been
much suffering this winter thanks to the mild
ness of the weather.
Snith-Hasn't been much suffering? Great
Cesar, you ought to talk to my wife. She has
had only one chance this whole winter to show
Off her new sealskin sacQue.-TeTas Siftings.
FIDo AND THE CHILDREN. Fashionable Lady
mother of several children) Nurse, am going
out now.
Nurseries, mum
Lady-And as am going to take Fido with
me, you can turn the heat off entirely until we
get bacG. If the children cry, put them to bed.
-Ieras S1tings.
IT was a wideawake Buffalo boy who, on
being reproved by his mother for discussing a
wrestling match on Sunday with his brother,
meeky replied:
''All right, mamma. viii you read us Bible
story?'
with pleasure, dear; what shall 1t be?''
''All about how Jacob wrestled with the
angel. "-bu6alo Express.
SCHOOL COMMITTEE Gudge of a local court ad.
dicted to fault finding) examining class in geog-
not made any progress tor months; you are Just
where you were last year. Ernest, where are
the Rocky mountains?
Ernest remembering the same question put
the year before)-Just where they were last
year; haven't moved biC.-Chica0o Herald.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-02
Better Than Pockets.

1t was in the Philadelphia depot at Jersey
CITY, says the New York Sun. man who had
been half asleep on one of the benches for some
time suddenly reused up, carried his hand
to the breastpocket of his coat, and then called
out:
II have been robbed Some one has picked
my pocket.
'How much money! asked an old lady who
sat near him.
"Over $40"
''Sakes alive, but what a loss: Sure you had
it when you left homer
"Of course l am"
Didn't leave it under your pillar or change
your coat:"
II noticed you feeling around your coat tails
before you went to sleep Better look back
there before you give it up
lie carried his hand back, and ten seconds
later held his lost wallet up TO sight He began
TO apologize and stammer. but she checked him
with:
Young man, you orter to be more keerful
You might Of accused me of stealin' that
money, and 1t would have been nice thing for
my church folks to hear of, wouldn't it? When
the news got home TO my old man he'd have
been so kertustrated that bed have forgotten
to feed the shoats or milk the cows, and there's
no knowing how he'd have got along locking up
the house and going to bed"
ION, shouldn't have accused YOU, ma'am."
protested the man.
wall, I'm glad on it, and being as this ex-
ctement has come up about picxpockets guess
III see If my money and ticket are safe
And she reached down, slipped off a calfskin
shoe tr m her right foot, and peersd into it,
with the remark:
There's the ticket and there's the dollar bill
ana haint been robbed. Just try it, young
man. Beats coat tails and all other pockets all
holler. Got to stand you on your head to get it.
and every time you set your foot down Won
know IT'S thar I've carried Sl7 all over New
YORK that way, and got out alive and safe. -
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-02
Getting Even With Wanamaker.

One of the most striking cases of facial re-
sembance in public life, writes the cores pond
ent of the Chicago lie, aid, is that of Congress
man Goodnight of Kentucky and Postmaster
General. Wanamaker. MIR. Goodnight was in
the House restaurant to-day drinking a glass
of the famous beverage of his state, VIII N an
elderly and specialized man approached him
and exclaimed:
Why, Mr.. Wanamaker. what are you doingg"
"Simply taking drink of whisky" said the
congressman.
''Then-tnen you do drink whisky, Mr. Wanna
makers" gasped the old gentleman.
why, certainly
The stranger lifted his hands in holy horror.
and, apparently overcome by the discovery,
muttered that "the folks up in Philadelphia
won't believe it when / tell en- and moved
away.
THAT is the only way in which can get
even with Wanamaker for looking like me. -
said Mr.. Goodnight. This is the third or
fourth time have been taken for the Postmas-
ter General while taking a drink, and l have
not exerted myself very much to correct the
mistake. But suffer through the resemblance
of our faces fully as much as Mr.. Wanamaker
does. People mistake me for him, and fail to
ask me to take something with them
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-02
An old Suggestion Recalled.

a year or two ago Alderman Myers sug-
gested the Availability of constructing a
boulevard, 800 or 40 feet wide, entirely
around the city, and adorningit with hand
some shade trees. He had two things in
view. One was a pleasure drive and the
other was an entrance into the city for
railroads. There is no doubt that his sug-
gestion was wise one. Had it beea acted
upon railroads seeking terminus here
would never have any difficulty in reaching
our wharves
But Is it too late to act upon the sugges-
ton! Knoxville, Tenn, is constructing a
wide avenue from her limits to a point
quite long distance in the country, with
a view Of encouraging projected railroads
to make her a terminus or one of the points
on their lines, and there are very few who
will not say that she is dong very wise
thing.
1t would not cost great deal to construct
boulevards close to this city that would
accommodate railroads that are now seeking
or may seek a seaboard outlet at Savannah,
and which would remove one Of the great
obstacles in the way of railroads that might
desire 20 make Savannah terminus. OAe
OF them should be on an east and west line,
mile or two beyond Twelfth street. A
second should be on the east side Of the
city, and tlird on the west side, and both
should be at such a distance from the city's
limits that they would not likely obstruct
the city's growth in the near future.
Land in the localities suggested for the
ooulevards is not now held at very high
prices, and the rights of way, therefore,
could, in all probability, be obtained at a
comparatively small cost. The boulevards
would tend to bring the lands in the vicin-
ity OF them into notice, and make them
more valuable. That fact, would of course,
be taken into consideration in bargaining
for rights of way. No doubt nearly all of
the land owners would display great liber-
atty, because they would recognize the
benefits that would accrue to them. There
might be few who would seek to gain all
the benefits that would flow to
them from the boulevards without making
any concessions. Such people are always
to be found Whenever schemes of improve
ment are proposed. 1t is probable, however,
that there would not be enough of such
Liberal persons to defeat the boulevard
scheme. Would it not be advisable for the
city council and the county commissioners
to have conference with regard to this
matter! Something might come of 1t that
would be very helpful to the city.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-02
Il Was Hubby.

curious story is told at the capitol at the
expense of member of congress, who, while
OF no small caliber intellectually, has not been
blessed with an abundance of avoirdupois He
has wife who is much taller than he is. and
who also is well known to her children as a
strict disciplfnaTian. One evening so the story
goes, she heard a noise in the nursery after
bedtime She promptly seized her slipper and
started for the scene of the uprcar. Just as she
reached the door the children extinguished the
light. Stretching out her nand she captured
one OF the boys, and TO judge from the outcries
he made the spanking was thoroughly effective
But the mother was somewhat SURPRISED
at the conduct of the second sufferer
Instead of sobbing he yelled protestatons in a
strong voice, and at last swore roundly The
mother, astonished jumped up, and letting him
fall FROM her knee TO the floor exclaimed
tenderly:
rs that you, hubby?"
Overwhelmed with confusion, he admitted
that it was her hubby she had been spanking
After they had retired amid the muffied
laughter of the children. VINO were trying to
restrain 1t by stuffing pillows into their mouths
explanations followed. He, too, had heard the
noise. and with the same object in view as his
wife had gone to the nursery, where he had
been caught by his spouse
Hereafter he VOWS that he will allow his wife
to discipline the children unaided
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-02
a Busy Book Agent.



We were visiting at a ranch about six miles
out OF DeniSon. Tex. and one day there were five
or SIX people on the veranda. when a man on a
mule came along and halted and introduced him
SIT as book agent. While his prospectus was
beng passed around he took a chair. lifted his
feet to the railing. and lighted cigar for
smoke. he was quite little apart from the
rest, ana at tie end Of the veranJa, the floor of
winch was almost flush with the earth. At his
right hand. and only two feet away, was rose
oush without being observed by tn e man, the
Colonel detached himself from the group and
entered the house. There was an open window
right PACK OF the agent, and the colonel ap
peared IN this and commanded: Let no one
move Tor his life until 1 get a gun! rattle
snake mas crept out Of the rose bush under the
strangers chair, and is cooled to strike"
We all looked that way, and nothing was to
De seen, but, as each one understood the COL
onel game. we acted. so far as LOOKS were con-
ceFned, as II serpent vas IN plain view. The
agent never finched in the slightest. He was
looking away down the road, and he kept his
eyes there as he observed:
"Durn my luck, but I'm allus running up
agln snalX! How big is this feller?"
Hes whopper,' answered one of us.
AND this is August, when they are half blind
and the most deadly"
did the colonel say he was going after his
shooters"
Yes
How long will it take him.
About ten minutes, but maybe fifteen"
Humphi Well, gents, I'm busy man and
can't afford to lose no fifteen minutes You
Jess pass the prospectus around and git ready
10 give me your orders and I'll try and catch
little wink o sleep while waiting for the colone!
TO pop this burned viper!"
And sure's I'm living man he settled down
In his chair to WOO the drowsy god, and I'd bet
thousand 70 one that he felt sure the snake
was there, just as we pretended.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-02
Mr.. Mills Impressive Speech.

The Hon. Roger Q. Mills has been telling a
story this week at his own expense SAYS the
New York Trabune's Washington correspondents
In the exciting political campaign of 1883 Col.
Mills had red-hot fight on hand in his own dis
trict in Texas. One of the meetings which the
apostle of low tariff addressed was in his own
town of Corsicana. The people for miles
around poured into the town to hear him. Col
Mills was stirred to his inmost depths He ham
mered away in that speech on the tariff cues
ton to the exclusion of every other topic
The next morning the Texas statesman was
in his flower garden and while standing near a
high board fence admiring the rose bushes that
tourished luxuriantly there, he overheard the
following dialogue between two negroes who
were at work in the adjoining lot:
Was you up at de big democratic meetin'
yestidy?"
Yes, l drapped round an listened to Col.
Mills talk"
so did l."
could you make heads or tails 'outen what
he was talkin' 'bout?'
Deed couldn't He kept a shoutin' bout
one thing all de time. He talked an he talked
about de tariff"
Dat was de racket de whole time. was
dar, an L don't know now what it was; but
from de way he han'led hissef an paved de
ar in dat speech, you kin bet yo bos' dollah dat
if was to meet up wild dc tariff, I'd give it de
road -
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-02
index TO NEW ADVERTISEMENTS,

SPECIAL NoTIcEs-Notce, Edmund H. Abra-
hams; No Nursery. Townsend; Sour Grapes,
Robinson Steam Printing Company; A. Hanley,
Wholesale Deaer in Builders Supplies; Savan-
nah Branch Southern Home" Building aud
Loan Assoc alton; Rowland & Myers, Real Es-
tate Agents; Invitation Cards for Merchants
Week Savannah Branch S. T. A.; Faust Beer
at Levan's Faust Beer at Custo n House Shades
The Faust Beer at Max D. Hirschs; Merchan-
disc Broker, L. j. Dunn; Notice, A. r. Fawcett;
Smithfeld Hams, etc, John j. Reilly; Savannah
Steam Laundry; Empire Steam Laundry.
The OLD, OLD SToRY-Davis Bros.
THE FINEST STocK-At Eckstein & Co.'S.
LINENS ETc.-At Altmayers.
Don't DELAY-The Globe Shoe Store.
Stoves AND RANGEs-James Douglass.
E.THE TIFFANYs-M. Sternberg & Bro.
BETWEEN HAY AND GRAss-B. H. LEVY & Bro
4 NEW LOT OF FURNITURE, Erc.-A S.
Thomas
WINES, LIQUORS, ETc.-At Elsinger's Store.
NEW GooDs-Milius & Co.
1t WAS STERIING-L. & B. S. III
PRIEsTLEY BLACK GooDs-C. Gray & Son.
STOVES, RANGES, ETC.-Norton & Hanley
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS & Mack's Great Com
edy Company at the Theater Thursday; Grand
Purim Ball En- Masque of Young Mems Hebrew
Association on March 5.
AUCTION SALEs-Desirable Site for Factory,
by c. P. Miller; Well Paying Property in Yama-
craw, by @. H. Dorsett
CHEAP COLUMN ADVERTISEMENTS Help
Wanted; Employment Wanted; For Rent; For
Sale; Lost; Personal: Miscellaneous.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-02
A Profitable Contract.

The contract which the Alaska CONNER
cial Company had with the government for
the privilege of catching fur seals upon the
islands of st George and St. Paul, Alaska,
must have been a very profitable one, iudg-
ing from the new contract which the govern
ment has just made with the North Ameri-
can Commercial Company. The Alaska
company's contract was for twenty years.
and the company has paid the government
about $500, 900 year. The new company's
contract is also for twenty years, and it
will pay the government 81 900, 900 year. If
the new company knows what it is doing the
Alaska Company has made about 500, 900
a year over and above reasonable profit.
During the twenty years of its control,
therefore, it has made Sl4,0)00O0 more
than it could had the interests of
the government been fully protected.
The members of the Alaska company have
all become enormously rich. Under the cir
cumstances it seems rather strange that that
company should have permitted another
company to outbid it. 1t has the necessary
plant for carrying on the business of catch
ing the seals and preparing their skins for
market. Perhaps it thought that the profit is
of the business were not known, and that
being so well equipped there would be no
danger that another company would outbid
1t. If that was its idea it was greatly mis-
taken.
Unless the government is able to assert its
claim to exclusive jurisdiction of Behring
sea it will soon be impossible for the new
company to take 1OO 900 seals year, as its
contract permits it to do. Within the last
two or three years the number of American
and Canadian schooners engaged surrepti-
tiously in taking seals in that sea has greatly
Increased, and there is danger of the seals
being exterminated. The question of the
jurisdiction of Behring sea is one that must
be set led in the near flu ure.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-02
Peoieteref al The ps.f9 0ice ia Sauann1h.

FLNrfSfffFlN
@@-~-~-----~~---
The DfoRNrNG NEWS is published every day in
I've year. and is served - subscribers IN the city
Ar 8 cents week. 81 0J a month, So W for six
s1ogrhs and SO 90 for one year.
The MoRNING NEWS, o. mad. one month,
Al OF: three months, s. 90; six months, s. CO;
nne year. SO 90.
Tie MoaN1HG News, BY mail, six times week
I,ritbouf SUNDAY issuel, Tires months, s. %.
e,x months. 81 90; one year. s. 90.
The MORNING News. Tri-Weekly. Mondays,
Wednesdays and Fridays. or TUESDAYS, Thurs
6avs and Saturdays, three months, 81 .; six
m 6utLs 50 50. one year. $ %.
The SUNDAY News. On mail, one year, 81 co.
The WEEKLY News, by mad one year, 81 %.
Subscriptions payable in advance Remit by
iJ.,s. 81 order, cheek ~ registered letter. Cur
t4ncv sem by mail at risk OF senderS
Letters and kilograms should be addressed
ss MoRNING NEWS Savannah Ga
Transient advertiseme ats, other than special
column, local or reading notices. amuse-
1nents and cheap or want column, 10 cents q
lire. Fourteen lines OF agate tYpe-eQual to
cue inch space in depths the standard OF
Contract rates and discounts
Iuede known on application at business office.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-02

There are bright buds of April and blossoms of
May,
But they're not half so sweet as the breath of
tue maid
That with SOZODONT brushes her teeth every
day
TIL like pearls through her beautiful lips
they're displayed.
o SoZODONTl what an enchantment is thine
That gives teeth like the sun, and gives lips red
as wine
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-02

The MORNING NEWS is on file at the following
places, where Advertising Rates and other in
formation regarding the paper can be obtained;
NEW YORK CITY
j. H BATES, IS Park Row.
@ p RowELL & Co., 10 Spruce street.
w. W. SHA p & Co., 81 Park Row.
FRANK KIERNAN & Co., 152 Broadway.
DAUcHY & Co., q Park Place
j. w. THOMPSON, 80 Park Row.
AMERICAN NEWSPAPER PUBLISHERS ASSOCIATION,
Potter Building.
Z PHILADELPHIA
n. w. AVER & Son, Times Building.
BOSTON
S. r. NILES. 256 Washington street.
PErTEEGIJL & Co.. 10 State street.
CHICAGO
LoRD & THOMAS, IS Randolph street.
G NCINNATI-
EDWIN ALDEN COMPANY, sc West Fourth street.
NEW HAVEN
TEE II. P HUBBARD COMPANY % Elm street.
ST. LOUIS
NELSON CHEsMAN & Co., I127 Pine street.
ATLANTA
MORNING NEWS BUREAU, SO Whitehall street
MACON
DAILY TELEGRAPH OFFICE, 5a7 Mulberry street.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-02

Congressman Chapman of Michigan, who
is said to be one of the best lawyers in the
House, thinks that Mr.. Pendleton, who was
deprived of his seat in the absence of
quorum, has strong case, but be has but
little hope that recourse to the courts would
result in settling the disputed point. He
says that the principle involved is so far
reaching that the supreme court would
hesitate to render direct decision. 1t is
Mr.. Pendleton's duty, however. to take the
case to the courts, as protest against
Reeds quorum ruling.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-02
Dorothy.
From the CenturH.

From the Century.
They tell me It's foolish to pirate of love
In the sweet and olden way;
They say should sing of loftier things,
For love has had his day.
But when Dorothy comes
j cannot choose,
must follow her
Though the world lose;
NV very soul
Pours forth in song
When dainty Dorothy
Trips along.
1t is all very well to say to me
That Browning's noble strain
Rises and swells with the tide of thought
Or throbs with the pulse of pain
But If Dorothy once
Had crossed bis path
Her radiance such
A witchery hath
That across the world
Would not seem long g
To follow Dorothy
With his song.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-02
Gambled and Lost.

From the PHILADELPHIA Times Iad).
One journal of this city and one of New York
announced Thursday the death Of the son Of
Minister Lincoln ia London, with the regula-
ton obituary. Neither OF these newspapers
had any cable report OF the death of young
Lincoln. They received the same news received
by all the leading newspapers, viz, that there
was no hopelOf Lincoin's recovery; but they
gambled on the chances of leading in actual
news and simply proved how unreliable their
news columns are
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-02

Mr.. Compton of Maryland has only a
few more days TO serve in congress. Next
week the republicans of the House, whether
they have quorum present or not, will
vote to unselt him, and to put republican
named Mudd in his place. Mr. Compton
can down Mudd every time 10 his district.
but when a republican House decides 10
hold the election again. and to hold it out
side OF bis district, be is at a considerable
disadvantage
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-02

The Atlanta Journal seems to think that
the MORNING NEWS is running Gen. Evans
FIR governor. o, no; the MORNING NEWS
merely mentioned Gen. Evans as a possible
candidate, and said that he was good man
and so he is. Col. Marcus johnson. of
Milledgeville, seems to be grooming him.
Gen. Evans occasionally takes the pulpit,
and Col Marcus johnson spent a few years
of his life sowing wild oats. He has re-
formed now, and it is meet and proper that
he should give his support to preacher for
governor. AT the same time, as the MORN
ING NEWS has already remarked, Gen.
Evans may not be the next governor.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-02

The investigation of the leaking out of
executive session secrets recalls a remark
that Senator Sherman made several years
ago. He said: 1.-THE best way to get a
speech into the newspapers is to deliver it
in executive session" And who but the
senator who delivers it is responsible for its
appearance in the public prints2
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-02

The republican league convention will be-
gin its session in Nashville next Tuesday.
1t was announced some months ago that the
chief orators Of the league were going to
make a tour Of the principal cities of the
south, just after the convention, and talk
for high protection. We don's hear any
thing about that these days. Perhaps the
scheme has been abandoned. The delegates
who go to Nashville should be very partic-
ular not TO get into Georgia According to
the great. good, and strictly truthful Mr.
Wanamaker, tho life of northern repub-
iican would not DO safe in Georgia.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-02
OUR NEW YORK OFFICE.

Mr. J. J. Flynn has been appointed General
Advertising Agent of the MORNING NEWS, with
an office at % Park Row. New York. All adver-
Using business outside of the states of Georgia,
FIol ida and South Carolina will be managed by
him.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-02

Mr.. James Russell Lowell, ex-minister to
England, and one of the best-known and
most highly respected men in this country,
is quite i'll at his home in Cambridge,
Mass. He contracted cold, which assumed
such serious phase that his friends have
become alarmed
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-03-02

From the NelC Orleans States Dem.).
The indications are that the south will be
Kept pretty busy this summer shipping iron
and Ice To the north. There was a time when
the north supplied the south with those need
tul articles. Tne south has got move on, and
there IS no use trying 70 st1p her.