The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1890-12-03


sIze mighty sorry, sab"
aDat's no excuse. Brudder Give
adam Jones, you will take dis pusson
out into de ante-room an gin him q
series of electric shocks to rouse his
c-al sentiments. De shocks better
be purity heavy, as his is a hard case.
Chnrstone didn't return to the hall
after the performance, which Give
adam Jones said was great success
THE CASE OF HAEDFN1sH SMITH.
.sAir Bruddec Hard6nish Smith
heah to-night?" asked the president
after the other case had been dis
posed OF.
The brother was at the back end OF
tie hail, a shoe off and working at a
callous about as big as silver dollar.
he got into shape as soon as possible,
ms eyes bulging out with excitement,
and when he stood before the plat
form the president said:
aBrudder Smith, I understand you
A.o.--a uia sanlitins -ncnI
4 aSslt.
Didn't you help run ward eau
Gus las week" ?"
e went around dar', but I didn't
run muffin"
Didn't I pass along by dat caucus
an, hear you whoopin' fur somebody
I iist hollered once.
Brudder Smith, I have word or
fwo Of advice fur you. De mex time
you Whoon fur any white man IN pol
Tics doan5 do it fur Fifty cents. Doan'
!! do il fur less'n ten dollars. Whoop
ara Guild candydate fust, but if you
can't 6nd one, den whoop fur a white
man Doan' walk around on de rim
Of pollyticks. De men who do dat
a- mean an cheap. Go right in to
de fuuness an de nastiness of it. Lie,
deceaye an cheat. Kape yourself so
solid dat you viii be a power IN de
town, an eben if de bigger fish de
\ spise you, dey viii not dare show it
AS dis club has no pollyticks an no
use fur politicians, you needn't cum
heah no mo-. :,
ssBus I doan' want no pollyticks,
protested Hardfnish.
5cu has got 'em already"
Y Den Ize gwine to drap 'em. Its
q de las time 7 eber whoop.
Well, wen gin you a show. You
can sot down, but yo'd better walk
S mighty soft. We hain't no room
heah fur bummers-
Brother Smith had only taken his
seat when the president inquired II
& Brother Congulsive Jones was IN the
san He was. He was asked to step
s 10 the front, and when he got there
4 HBrother Gardner said:
& .Brudder Jones, I understand you
II IS gwine to move ober to de Stait OF
Qhiog
% stYes, sab"
an when you git dar' you is
gwine to be married :?
yes, sah."
aDat is good an we'll We shall be
sorry to lose you from active mem
bership in dc club, but We shall be
= &pleased ober your good fortune. In
|gWine to new place, an among new
people, dar' am sartin things you or
ker observe.
= sDoan wear too much plated watch
Chain.
a sDoan' hev too many kinds of re-
igion.
ID aDoan' attempt to vote wild all
parties
aRemember dat three-dollar dia.
pin doan' make up for wipin
Your nose on yer elbow.
sIf de rest of de people walk on de
sidewalk you shouldn't take de mid
sole. of de road, eben if it is de safest.
LIN eittin' married, Brudder Jones,
soaS expect your wife to be an angel:
Doan' imagine dat matrimony IS all
soye an no heavy bread. Be boss OF
5e cabin, bps doan' be a tyrant: Cul-
Syate de impression dat you know
81 aeap, but doan' git de idea dat your
7iife is az idiot
S s:Doan' start in at de top. You IS
# pore man, an you has got to make
. s our way. It is better to hev i've
,nsheps of taters in de cellar dan
~ ben-foot lookin'-glass in de parlor.
@ aziness eats up de -four, while IN
astry puts red-kivered lounge IN
| 9 parlor. Extravaganza scrapes oe
aottom Of de butter jar, while econ
my puts nutf money in de bank ,, 70
81 AIRY you frew case OF smah poa'
ou kin now be seated, an de meet
viii purceed to suspend payment
S go home
You can be cheerful and happy only when
6bu are well. If you feel ''out OF sorts,
snr T r McIean'S SarSa parllla.