The Opelousas courier., 1890-05-24
NJ OF THE DAY.

Brothers-in-law-The judges.
Light-headed-A locomotive at night
-DansviMs Breeze.
Spare the rod and let the fish story do
the work.-Binghamton Leader.
Lawyers are like ivy; the greater the
ruin. the more they cling.-St. LOUIS
Magazine.
A doctor practices on his own patients.
Rut a musician practices on the patience
of others. -Statesman.
You needn't look for any great drop
in coal until the hind axle of the delivery
wagon breaks.-DGnsviM Breeze.
Nature has wisely arranged matters so
that a man can neither pat his W back
nor kick himself .-Lassrsncs A"'sr'ea"'
He'd never laugh at an inferior"
She-s'It would be impossible for you to
do such a thing Boston Transcript.
'sPoets must suffer before they can
write" says a philosopher. After that it
is other people who sufsr.1Burhnstsn
Free Press. "
We are not SO much yorrled ABOUT
where we will spend the summer as
where we will get the money to spend It
with.-Merchdnt TraueLer.
You'd think a birds digestion would
Turn out a total wreck;
For every time it gets its food
1t has to takes peck"
Teacher-"Now, my children, we will
parse the sentence, John refused the
pie Tommy Jones, what is Johnf"
Tommy-ssA big fool."-Bsnghemton
Leader.
Tailor measuring customer)-"You
ara rather short, SIR" Customer-"Well,
YES, rather; but how could you have
guessed asto the low state OF my inances:"
Yankee Blade.
ssThere is no law regulating tobacco
consumption" said a travelling man to
the Young women who dislikes the weed.
ayes, she replied, ''anybody can use it
if he choose. "-Merchant Traveller.
When signal service prophetr--eel
OF sunshine as their news,
It's time to get your old umbrell
And don your oTershoes.
Washington Post.
The man who dries dynamite on the
stove SHOULD marry the hired girl whe
kirdles the kitchen fire with kerosene.
| As a matrimonial team, they would be sure
to ssbring& Down the house. "-NorTsstoWa
Herald.
r A Scranton 6ve-year.old, whose mother
had used ten cents from his savings fund,
Last evening stumped his father with the
remark: spa, you WI nae ten a
your wife took that much ~fom me.
Scranton Truth.
aI-aw-quite forgot myself foh a
moment, this morning." began Willie
Washington, who was trying to be con.
versational. "For which," interrupted
Miss Belle Pepperton, 'syou ought to be
very thankful D. Washington Post.
Tramp with tears in his eyes)--'I de
| not ask for money, sir, but what would
YOU think, if ] should tell you I have
had nothing to eat for forty-eight hours,
and INV poor wife ana children are nov
starving in the street," Practical Citt'
zen-'sI'd think you were q liar. Good
morning. Washington stsr.
An article going the rounds of the
press speaks of ...hmperstitions about
babies" This is FLOR Z; there are no
superstitions aboeaa HL9es. Of all the
hard, practical, unssat1mental, mechani.
cal, matter.of-fact, artificial creatures In
this world commend US to Q baby. I.
only believes in itself.-PAizGdeEpRia
Times.
"No. Hiram" said the young girl,
sadly, 81 cannot be your wife. We are
too compatible" "Compatible!" he ex-
claimed; "isn't that the very reason
Why "Not in your case. I should
probably insist from motives of economy
on dispensing with a servant and in doing
my own homework, and you would
probably let me do it, Hiram."- Micega
| Th,ih9syA