The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1890-11-09
THE LAST CHANCE LOUNGER.

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THE LAST CHANCE LOUNGER.
All of us, republicans and democrats
alike, are rejoicing that the election is 9
thing of the past. It Was an unpleasant
strain, even to the victors who are still re-
joicing, while for the defeated-well, they
are fast recovering and will doubtless be
we'll armed for the next fray. But
while it was hard and tiresome campaign
and the result was 80 close that all were
nervous, few amusing things occurred.
For instance, there is my friend Herbert F.
Chandler, who prides himself on the fact
that he is the strongest republican in the
United States. Herbert took defeat very
hard and has not yet quite recovered from
the effects. On the morning after election,
when the result was pretty we'll assured, he
met friend on the street. "Well," said
Chandler, you have got US. decided las.
night when I heard the returns that
would leave the state, but picked up the
paper this morning and didn't know where
to 90 to-" and Mr.. Chandler sadly walked
into the Office and pulled down the curtain.
~
Tom Power is also telling his friends Of
funny incident. On election day he was
driving down the street behind a spirited
horse when small boy started to run
across.
"Look out, boy. look out there" yelled
the commodore.
"Look ont yourself, you old stole seat
Power" replied the boy, as he stopped
squarely in the street and faced the great
man.
have another friend recently married
home. He is strong democrat and is al.
ways willing to back his opinions with
money. He put up all of his ready cash be-
sides numerous hats, shoes, overcoats, um-
brellas. gloves, etc. On the night before
election he eonfded to his wife the news of
these wagers, but he found that she by no
means endorsed his betting. She called
him a foolish boy and gently called him
down for taking 80 many chances. She
never thought that he might win. On the
day after election he referred to the matter
and began figuring up his winnings. Sud-
denly she turned with bright smile and
interrupted:
'Why didn't you bet more2'
~.
w. A. Burleigh, or as he is better known,
Uncle Andrew, was in town attending tho
meeting of the trainers of the constitution.
He is known all over Montana as a very
bright man and was once on the highway to
political success. Despite his seventy
years and more he is now as quick and &C.
tive as ever and az attorneys know is fully
as dangerous in lawsuit as ever. In this
connection a good story is told about him.
Some time ago fellow was arrested for
stealing dead calf from Lord Nelson
Story's ranch IN Gallatin county. Uncle
Andrew was chosen to defend tho man
while Allen Joy conducted tho prosecution.
The case was fought very hard on both
sides. Finally JOY in summing up referred
to the prosecution Of the case AZ a matter
of duty. He grew grandly eloquent as he
dwelt on the conscientious and faithful en-
deavor which prosecuting officer should
use in working for the state. "And now"
he concluded, when die want it said
that as prosecuting attorney did my
duty in this cases.
Uncle Andrew interrupted with the re-
mark. 1.-The sooner that happens there will
be more Joy in hell and moro peace on
earth"
One of the most effective campaign
speakers before the average Montana audi
ence is Judge Clements. Of this city. He
has plain but earnest style Of speaking,
and uses no frills in stating the case. His
speeches are always arpumentative, COCA
sionally interrupted with good story. The
judge first began his stamping in Iowa
when the democratic vote is not go large as
it now is. One time he was assigned by
the campaign committee to talk in a town
where the democratic vote was larger than
In most places in the state.
But" said the Judge to the chairman,
there is no use for me to 90 down there.
The people know all about tho tariff and the
silver question. and are thoroughly posted
on all issues''
"Never mind" said the chairman, Ego
there and swing the American eagle through
the air and give the Mormons h-''
~.
As may easily be imagined there were
many sore throats on the morning after
election. Many Of them belonged TO mem
80 sAS AASANAtVA0 0AuVs 001AAX bA0
day party of democrats with voices down
in their boots went into a popular resort
where one of them ordered ..somathing for
hve sore throats. II think Vicksburg
will fx You out" said the chemist.
When the party had gone out the chemist
confided to the lounRer the secret Of =.
Vicksburg. 1t is new drink destined to
become very popular. Il il made mp some
thing like this. An ounce Of pure rock
syrup is placed in glass and an ounce and
half of old rye whisky j. added. This
should be poured in 90 gently that il viii
rest on top of the syrup. This ID all thsre
is to it. The whisky goes down hrst Inn
mediately followed BY the soothing rock
syrup. which acts a. pleasant lubrioar..-
The popularity Of tho drink immediately
after election ID simply amazing.
=.
Senator CharlAa HnHunan 0f Hnnnunnn