The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1890-01-25
THE ADULLAMITES
Every One That was in Distress and
Every One That wa. in Debt, and
Every One That was Discontinued,
Gathered Themselves Unto Him."


Gathered Themselves Unto Him"
The Evening Ostrich is supposed to
have digestive apparatus OF grand
capabilities, but it seems that like the
buzzard, it is somewhat fastidious in its
tastes. d. Serious, one OF the Adulla-
mites, having been engaged by that en-
terprising journal to report meeting in |
the cave, wrote out the following report,
but did not dare to hand it in, lest it |
should not agree with the taste OF the |
''old man." and the consequent excite
ment should duly agitate the ''minis-
terial bee in his bonnet" But Serious |
is pledged to neither sect nor party, but |
established for the equal benefit OF all, ;"
and so he now offers the report TO the
public that all may know what is going
on in the political world:
When the reporter entered, Elder
Shrub and Garibaldi were in dark re-
cess OF the cave, Shrub talking nervously
in low tones, while Galibaldi, looking
turtively around, twirled his thin nous
tache. Flip Demarest, with thumbs in
the arm holes of his vest and hat on the
back OF his head, stood uneaslly and alone
at the mouth OF the cave. +. G. Duty
and T. r. Cuspidor fitted hither and
| thither, Cuspidor damning the EMISSION
| aries and all them literary fellers," while
| Duty oiled the troubled waters with his
| "bide wee, Tommy, bide wee" Just
| then in stalked Charley the trooper, with
severe countenance and righteous de-
| meanor, like a Puritan of Cromwell's
camp Shrimp tipped his hat to him as
| he passed, but the trooper only nodded
| grandlv and looked over Shrimp's head
| into dim futurity Shortly afterwards
| loauacious Moses stationed the Highland
| Dragon at the mouth of the cave, and
| gave him the pass word. "Boodle" He
then called the recalitrant company to
order and delivered the following well
| come:
Fellow citizens, mechanics, warriors
and others: | welcome you to this
meeting. | need not tell you the object
which had in view when | invited YOU
to meet me here this evening. l want
to find some plan upon which we can
unite before the coming election. We
are not men who have been in
|
fact, we have very little in the
way OF tastes, interests or principles
in common but we can agree in this one
thing-we are against the Government.
(Applause) We want to get in and kick
the Cabinet out. applause and cries OF
hear, hear But we are such strangers
to each other that | want this meeting to
be very informal, so that we may be-
come acquainted.
With great trepidation, but with pur-
pose born OF political necessity, Moses
advances to the Elder and proffers him
the right hand OF fellowship.
''My dear Shrub, do not forget your
national services IN the famous Samoan
) imbroglio. Your diplomacy will serve
us all IN this, our time OF need. We
, hail you as man and a brother"
Whereat the Elder, in silvery accents,
acknowledges the compliment, and in
PRODUCES Garibaldi to Moses in the fol-
: lowing felicitous measures: "Permit me
, to make you acquainted with the Palama
Liberator'' (Garibaldi grins sardoni-
cally and rolls his furtive eye.) "He is
great constitutional reformer.'
(Another furtive glance.) "He feels
/ the urgency OF the present political ne.
cessity. He feels that he has everything
| to gain (another sardonic GRIM and
nothing to lose He stands ready tc
: cast himself Internationally into the
: breach TO preserve the national peace
You may count on him early and late u
J Twirling his thin moustache, and
glancing furtively about, Garibadi grins
sardonically as he asks, "Will the troop.
4 er accept me as man and brother
7 VIII he forgive my little peccadillo if |
,riII holm him at the pplIS 2''
Whereat the trooper strides magnifi-
Gently toward Garibaldi and greets the
Liberator thus: "You may be fool but
you're no missionary. Nobody will ever
= take you for it. So we're partners in
2 this business. You're in distress, hav
ing no visible means Of support, and Pm
Y discontented because they didn't hang
you when they had the chance, and here
t we are Adullamites and Adullamites
2 We'll be forever"
r Flip Demarest still stood aloof and
looked wistfully out on the busy workers
at their tasks. Suddenly from the din
, recesses of the cave, stalking unsteadily
two tall forms with locked arms came
g into the circle. "Ihis is my friend Gen
r eral Deficiency" says the Scion from
Waianae. ale has been among yor
: thirty-fve years and you know some
S thing of HIM"
: Turn the rascals out, said Cuspidor
coming up at this unfortunate juncture
8 Whereat Moses attempting the ameni
s ties, said, "Ah! Cuspidor, you forge
!, that the General did not let them turn
: him out, he shrewdly resigned"
e you're right, you are says Moses?'
: (Laughter).
d At which harmless little joke, which
n | oil 70 nd
d to adjourn to meet again for the purpose
5 OF forming ticket representing no class
i clique, set, doctrine, principle or policy
4 | aycapt n tbara