The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-08-24
THE REAR GUARDS TALE
BILL NYE WRITES OF THE COMFY
ISLAND RELIEF EXPEDITION.
Emin Tutewiler Would Have Been Re-
neved If He Hadn't Taken the -Four
O'Clock Boat for Home-The Explorers
Set Right Before the Public.
Copyright by Edgar W. Nye.I

lCopyr1ght by Edgar W. Nyel
So many conflicting stories are now
afoat regarding the conduct Of the rear
guard of the expedition which started
out last July for the relief of Emin Tute-
wiler, who was supposed to be some
where in the jungles of interior Coney
Island or Far Rockaway, that l make
bold to write this defense Of myself and
our party in order that history may, as
Emerson says, give Us fair show.
Early in June we received permission
from Mr.. Joseph Cook, of Boston, TO e1-
plore the interior of Coney Island if we
would give it back again, and began to
look about me for a suitable company Of
men to assist me-. My first selection
consisted of Mr.. Owen s. Kinney, whose
middle initial sometimes adheres to his
behindest name, but who is loyal gen.
tleman whose clothes fit me. owe him
much which l cannot ever repay, but he
agrees TO let me off if l speak kindly of
him in my writings.
was also so fortunate as to secure
the services Of Eli H. Jaggs, professor of
Craftsmanship at the Central Park Acade-
my Of Equestrianism; also the author of
'How to Overcome the Riding Habits"
cloth fifty cents, paper two bits. He
was secured partially because Of his po-
litical influence and also because he is
thorough connoisseur Of spoopju.
He said he would go cheerfully. Be
side these two | also invited Mr.. Sawdorf
Astor-Plaice, of Lennox. He is not large
physically, but he has brain which is
what might be called teeming brain.
When he is thinking real earnestly, if
you go quite close to his brain you can
hear it purr. never saw such a brainy
cuss as he is. His thoughts sometimes
rumble like telegraph pole, he thinks
so hard. | selected him because want
ed bunch of picked men, and any one
could see that he was picked man to
Just look at him. He seemed somehow
to have been picked too soon. He took
a banjo with him.
That also was picked. Before we had
fairly started he got everything about
him to harmonic by having his pockets
picked.
My next thought was to procure the
needful food supply for our long journey,
and obtain permission Of my paper to
draw on it whenever 1 needed any
money. I also wrote an editorial re-
garding my sagacity and things, leaving
it to be printed on the day Of my de-
parture.
l now began to look about me for food
and whang whang, jingsang and color
ed beads to be used for purposes Of
traffic. My first purchase consisted of a
small hamper Of Rockford cheese, which
is an anti-scorbutic and also insures alb
solute isolation toits happy possessor. l
fully believe that the Rockford cheese
giving it the Anglicized spelling, for
am always kind to the Rockford and
Limburger cheeses, never laying hand
on eyether of them otherwise than in
kindness i say that the Rockford
cheese, aside from the Excelsior stencil
works east of New ark, has no living
rival And would also add that its
dead rivals would do we'll to look care
fully after their laurels. So ! got
damper in the top which l could open
whenever wanted little solitude.
Ialso procured some biltong and asmall
mill to use in grinding mealie, against
the time when we should be beyond the
reach Of Acker, Merrall & Condtt's de-
livery wagons. l took with me in my
inside pocket a small autograph album
which | purposed getting Emin Tute-
wiler to write into as soon as we had
relieved him. l said little to my che
who had preceded me via Ocean CIR
and Cape May; but it was my idea while
he was thus leisurely scouting through
the game country and tracing the
sources of the PasSaic to quietly slip in
and relieve Emin Tutewiler myself, thus
compelling my chief to play the rear