Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1890-08-15
STORIES ABUUT NAMES.
A YARN FROM A MINISTER A BABY
GIRL WHO WAS CHRISTENED
GEORGE.

| GEORGE.
The temperance of that annual
offense, the city directory, which
is probably the most elfusively
named volume ever issued in the
west, has set lot of the old set
tiers telling stories about funny
names they have known. But
there are other good stories be-
sides those of the old settlers, and
here is one from the vintage of
Rev. Robert Mcintyre.
a q1iet grocer who used to do
business down in central Illinois,
where "Bob' began bis preaching,
was presented with a very fine
girl baby one time IN the course of
domestic events, and he puzzled a
long time for "A name which would
be 6ttlngly worn by so remarkable
child az he found this one to be.
The grOcrI's name was ISOm New,
and when the curious women OF
the neighbOrhOOd pestered HIM
with the query what he would
call the child he always told them
be would "name the baby some
thing" Finally that Is just what
he did, and the little one is now
going through life with the chris
tening name of "Something" and
the family name of "New.' If she
should ever get married she Will
be Something New no longer. Well,
this same offense of presenting the
man with a baby was kept up with
the most startling regularity for the
next ten years, and the poor fellow
was at last compelled to close out
his business and sell his home and
90 on the road as a travelling man
for a Wholesale house in Chicago.
He was away on a trip one time
and when be got off the train on
his return the station agent, who
knew all the news OF the place,
said to him heartily as the sample
cases we're deposited on the pat
form
"New baby up at your house
last night, lsom."
ooh, that's nothing new re.
sponded the tired parent. And
"Nothing New" the baby was from
that day to this, and he will wear
the odd title at least until he is
large enough to lick his father and
90 into court for a newer name.
That story reminded another
minister of a little thing that hap
pened at a christening one time
and he told it. y good mother,
who was no worse \ woman for a
malformation that caused her to
lisp, brought her first born, a GIRL
to church one morning to have 1t
ushered by baptism into a proper
life. The large congregation wait
ed with much interest for the event,
as congregations always do, and
the timid woman stood up there
and presented her baby to the
veteran minister, who had grown
hard of hearing when he came to
the ordinance OF infant baptism.
"What is the name y he asked,
as he dipped his hand in the fount.
Lucy. sir" vas what the good
woman tried to say. but that ag'
gravatlng lisp bothered her, anu she
pronounced name tnat made the
old man slraighten up IN aStonisb'
ment.
"Wha y be asked, with the
widest sort OF a circumhex.
"Lucy, sir,' again essayed the
mother. 1t was tho same result
The old fellow grasped the baby,
dipped his hand in the fount deeT~
er than ever and then discharged
his duty regardless Of age, sex or
anything else.
"Lucifer No; | will never con
| fer so heathen a name on any
Christian child. George Washing
ton Brown, / baptize thee IN the
name of the Father, Son and Holy
Ghost, and may You teach your
parents better manners"
There ustd to be an OLD fellow
named Asbip who kept Il dTug
store down near 35'h street III
must have either died or Ieslgnf'
, his residence here, for his nam
does not appear III the latest direc
tory. lie was s'rOng adheren
of the doctrine that all peOpl
were at first named in accordaEc
with apparent traits, qualities {
occupations. He got his name h
said. because his ancestors wei
given to asking IA good many que
tions. But he was an lnsniferao
= bore with his perpetual lnlerrog'
tories. He wanted 10 know ever
thing about every body. NOtbin
. as too private for him. nothlu
p" ,as too sacred. l. wouldn't nav