Idaho County free press. [volume] (Grangeville, Idaho Territory) 1886-current, 1890-07-04
WIT AND HUMOR.

An idle of the serf-when an editor
takes day off to ride out q free pass.
-Elmird Star.
1t is the man who can't sing that
seems anxious that every one should
know it.-Yonkers Statesman.
Sunday-School Teacher What Is
more to be desired than great richest"
Chorus of Scholars-"Nothin'"-M Y
Herald.
you say that drinking Is one Of
your husbands failures?" "Failurese
0, no. 1t is one of his successes. IN
Y. Ledger.
The dude is regarded as in some re-
spccts the most elegant of the many
patterns of cigarette-holders. Wash
ington Post.
Sometimes the office seeks the man,
but generally the man knows when
the Office is on his track. -Rochester
Post Express.
Artful Dodger-"Quite spell we're
having?" Officer Quitting on the hand.
cuffs)-"Yes, quite a cold snap
Are you still out in the countryp"
'Out! l should say l was. l am out
just the cost of my farm and two years
taxes. IN Y. Sun.
Her feet hew," read Ichabod, but
Jonathan spoiled the climax by saying.
''Then she must have had soar toes"
-Binghdmton Republican.
Orderly Sergeant TO Recruit (who
has his mouth wide open)-"Be good
enough to close your reporting APP
paratus. "-'Fliegende Blatter.
1t generally turns out that, sooner or
later, every Napoleon of Finance"
bumps up to his sorrow against Well
ington of Justice. Philadelphia Press.
The real autocrat of the breakfast
table wears a big apron, carries tray.
and doesn't bring in the coffee until no
gets good and ready Washington Post.
There are few things in the world
really worth getting angry about, but
there are lots of things that justify a
man in getting mad.-SOmervitte Jour
nal.
"They say all good Americans go to
Paris when they die" "Yes. all ex-
cept the messenger boys" Where do
they goP" ITO Philadelphia. IN Y.
Sun.
A man has to have moral courage to
refrain from looking sidewise at tho
letter his next neighbor in the horse
car is diligently reading. A woman
can't do 1t, anyway.-SomerUitte Jour
nal.
What is Old ProbabilitiesP" asked
Willie, who had been listening to the
conversation about the weather. 1T
is a glazing misnomer, replied an old
gentleman with a sigh. Washington
Post.
Briggs-''So you got the cook fired.
did youP How did you work ftp"
Braggs pretended to find a re-
semblance between her and first wife,"
-7erre Haate Express.
Cholly I'll am practicing on tho
typewriter every day now" Mollie-
IL thought there was remarkable
improvement in your counting here
lately. "-1erre Haute Express.
How would you like to sing in our
church choirP" asked the deacon.
Thank YOU" she replied, sweetly.
"but never had any ambition in the
way of light opera. Washington Post.
AT the Theater Box Office: us every
thing full already Haven't you even
one seat for meP" Cashier-'Don't
be troubled. If you will wait till the
second act there will be plenty of
room. Fyiegemie Blaetter.
II am from Philadelphia, remarked
Mr.. Chestnut rs he took the pen to
register at New York hotel. "All
right" replied the clerk; "I'll send
boy to your room with you to show you
how to turn off the gas."-N. Y. Sun:
He-"How frank it is for Miss Hard.
he'd to own to being IS when she would
easily pass for 20 years of age" She
-"She isn't more than 10. She gets
$l7 week for ascribing her good looks
to Peaches soap.-Terre Haute En-
press.
New Girl-"rhere's one thing don't
like about the master. He keeps call
ing me my dear" Mrs. Fig-"O.
You mustn't mind that. It's only
habit of his. Why. he even addresses
n that way sometimes. 1erre Haute
Express.
Brown-"Old Pecksniff is the most
religious man l ever saw. He kept
dinner waiting over fifteen minutes to-
day while he said grace" Merritt
yet know when he holds fellows
note he doesn't give him a moments
grace. "-Epoch.
Mamma = well, Nellie, what did
yol learn at the Sunday-school to-
dayP" Nellie-''That | must sell three
tickets for the concert next week, give
~ cents to buy present for the SUI
perintendent, and-that Noah built the
ark. IN y Herald.
Old Friend unexpected arrivaD-
"And so this Is your daughters COM
ing-out partyp" Practical Mother
Yes, and If hadn't put my veto on
those dressmakers she would have
been out good deal further than she
is."-M Y. Weekly.
Dolliver-"What peculiar book-re-
viewer Razzle is! Did you ever notice
how confused his ideas seem to be?-
how rambling and incoherentp" Pom
pous-"Yes; I've noticed it." (Struck
with an idea.) Perhaps he reads the
DO, ks he acknowledgement Maya
zine.
us marriage a failureP" asked the
elderly Spilkins of former flame, who
had been party to May and Decem-
Der marriage. mo" she replied. with
a glance toward her husband In the
next room. Not failure. Only a
embarrassment" N. Il
Ledger.
Father-"Aha, so you run way from
do 20 II