Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1890-08-01
] HE ARIZONA KICKER.
The Latest Spicy News and Comments
From n Valued Contemporary-A Rack
ward Spring but Business Is Good

Inc Latest Spicy News and Comments
From Valued Contemporary Rack
ward Spring but Business Is Good.
The following article from the last issue
OF the Arizona Kicker" are reprinted
from the columns of the Detroit Free
Pree Press of Sunday:
A Surprised Man: Last week we had
a friendly criticism on Jim Taylor, who
keeps the whisky ranch at the other end
of the bridge. We stated that his den was
probably the nearest imitation of Hades
to be found on earth. and that the people
OF this section were not doing their duty
IN allowing Jim to consume so much oxy-
gen and hydrogen 1t was intended as a
pleasant little caution to Jim to set his
shanty on fire and go hence. but he didn t
take 1t that way. On Wednesday of this
week he came over to take our scalp. He
didn't drop hint as to his intentions,
but when we caught sight of him a block
off we knew by the jerk of his eyebrows
that he meant us.
If Mr.. Taylor expects to make a sue
cess IN life he must carefully observe two
or three things. Don't pull your gun too
quick. Don't shoot before you get ready.
Don yell when you shoot, as it only rat
ties your own nerve. He opened on us
at distance of 200 feet, which was $50
feet too much. He was in too great a
hurry to take aim, and his bullets were
wasted. His wells took away his breath.
When he had fired six bullets at us we
closed in, put him on his back, and made
him holler about sixty seconds. The
look of surprise and establishment on his
face as he found himself licked was a
laughable sight. The boys put him in an
empty barrel and rolled him around until
he.was thoroughly weary, and yesterday he
was chased out of his dive and departed
for the mountains.
1t Didn't Fail: Last Saturday the
Granite Hills Savings Bank, of this town,
failed to open its doors. and a notice was
posted up to that effect that it would open
in about week and pay at least SO cents
on the dollar. The boys got together about
10 clock and Mr.. Duggan, the president
was invited to explain matters He said
he hadn' t time just then, but after rope
had been passed over his neck he explain
ed that the failure had been caused by
over confidence in silver mine investments
The boys doubted this, and Mr. Duggar
was taken to the bank and compelled tc
show his books and his cash. After igur.
ing for about two hours d committee found
that there was money enough to pay every
depOsltor S1.47 on the dollar, and it was
accordingly passed out and the bank
wound up in ship-shape fashion. 1t was
no failure, but simply going out of bust
ness. Mr.. Duggan had calculated on
Iittle.scoop, but the boys got ahead of him
He left town on foot, carrying a spare
paper collar IN his hind pocket, and he
will probably look for some hay-seed town
in which to begin life anew. We have
failure here in trade now and then. bu
we permit no bank to fail unless all de
posltors are first paid In full.
For Other Fields: Ex-Judge jim Har
rison, who has been a familiar figure OF
our streets for the last year. and who was
supposed to be d retired -four merchant
from Minnesota, out here to cure hi
asthma, Is with us no more. He departed
yesterday III charge of a detective, anC
will bring up at Joliet as the end of hi:
journey.
Judge Jim objected to the course of tn,
Kicker He didn't like us one bit, anC
when he saw us walking to the front h,
felt it a personal hit at himself. He threw
out his hints that we were trying to run
the town, but that he would make us chew
cactus before he was done with us. Ont
day two weeks ago he tried to force III
into personal quarrel, and we learned
| afterward that he had a Derringer in hi
pants pocket and snapped it at us, but i
| failed to go off.
Believing that we could run the town
better than the Judge we began hunting
up his pedigree, and in the course of
week discovered that he was an ESCAPED
gentleman" from state prison. Be wen
! away saying that he owed us one but a
| he has seven years to serve we shan begin
to worry for some time yet.
Still Harping: Our jealous-minde,
contemporary is still giving himself ava,
in every issue of his poor old senile sheet
and such subscribers as he has take it TO
the sole object of seeing what he say
about US. The hair that broke the camel
back was our private graveyard. Whel
we went to an expense of $50 to remove
the seven todies to a nice little plat o
ground, and to identify each grave witt
nice head board, his gall bursted. HI
had no private graveyard. He went on
to shoot somebody. but was knocked int
the sand and his gun confscated. HI
hasn't the nerve to even throw mud ut al
Indian
Poor old man! Poor old contemporary
Your sun went down kerchuck when ''Tht
Kicker was established, and you hav,
been crawling In the moonlight ever since
Blow away if it does your soul good. L
, doesn't hurt us any, and but for this es
cape valve you might take rat poison o.