The gold leaf. [volume] (Henderson, N.C.) 1881-1911, 1890-08-07

poaching on the exclusive hunting
grounds of the Washington Gazette.
8. White Horses and Redheaded
Men" opened up vast field of sPecu-
lative lore and logic, which after a
weeks labor was abandoned when
thought | saw myself in the Greenvllle
Reflector, being watched, too, by the
hundred eyed Golds5oro Robinson,
who in sectional pride warned me
from trespassing in the eastern part OF
the State.
Believe me or not, as you will, SOL
emily asseverate that the only reason
you are not treated tonight 10y me
with an exceedingly funny treatise on
"laughing gas administed without
teeth,' is the report that many WIN
dows were broken recently IN Boston
by a mans cracking classical and
strictly A,henian joke with scarcely
any favor of fun in it, in the presen e
of our worthy president vino now
has wire gauze over all the windows
in his Lumberton office; which by
the by, the census report shows be-
longs to our honored president, and is
"not mortgaged."
Though it purport but little that l
do not discuss here tonight How
to make town with gold leaf tobacco
as the basis" | obtrude the excuse
that it is only because that feat has
been successfully accomplished by my
brother Manning, of Henderson and
that, too, between drinks, as it were,
while he was moving to Alabama in
quest % coal mine while his own
office towel stood behind the door.
Certainly was not Unconscious that
it would be expected that | should
descant on " North Carolina as field
for daily journalism )" but | have been
trained that it is bad manners to talk
of ones maladies in company. Given
ing journalism as an adjunct of the
morning press" would have claimed a
beneficial hour of discourse but a
burnt child breads the fire, and many
of you will readily recall the recent
conflagration in that direction.
Growing philosophical in my rumi-
nations, the thought struck me-very
gently, though, l do protest-that
" Prohibition as a Police Measure, "
offered fertile field for an orator
and yet from my experience | had
never seen police measured, success
fully, by prohibition. Indeed, l am
convinced that it would cause a strike
of " the force" all over this continent,
were prohibition made a police meas
ure. Matrimony as census measure,
next doomed up attractively; but from
time immemorial matrimony has never
failed to raise hue and cry that is
not lost even in the weary midnight
hours, long after sleep has come to
bachelors. That subject was aban.
doned in the nick of time while
walked the floor with four-year- Older
who was making night hideous because
of discontinued tooth.
1t is betraying no secret of my en-
tire neighborhood, when l take you
into my confidence and assure you
that | had finally settled on "Woman'
as subject, and was winding up in a
graceful apostrophe to beautiful and
rarely radiant maiden when Mrs.
Haydn glancing at the page, demand
ed such explanations as made me feel
a Culprit.
How to boom town through the
local paper" was a practical idea
that seized on after l had yielded to
woman's rights in my own domestic
empire but that subject l knew was
familiar to all, and to tell the truth, a
habit that is unremunerative save in
such consoling reflection as fs Virtue is
its own reward" | hankered for
something new. My patience was re-
warded. | had hit upon a subject,
" How to boom the local paper through
the town. You will readily admit
that in that l had hit upon an idea
worth preserving; and yet after turn
ing that over in my mind fully a week
| abandoned it. There was danger of
offending the man who did not adver-
tlse; there was apprehension Of losing
the patronage of the man who borrows
the paper but does not subscribe for it
because he does not like the editor ;
there was danger of offending the den
fist who does not think it professional
to advertise, but wishes you would
mention that he will spend a week son
professional business in Coon Track
township, beginning Monday, August
4th; there was certainty of treading
on the corns of Mr.. Burycheap, the
undertaken, who says his business does
not need advertising, but always wants
his name mentioned when the funeral
is written up, as being Gin charge OF
all arrangements; there was danger
OF earning the enmity of the banker
who protests that he has more applica-
tons for money than he can supply,
and yet is forever criticising the paper
for not booming the town on its bank
ing capital; there was apparent Ger
talnty of making "mad as a March
hare the corner grocer who knows
that "advertising in his line is entirely
unnecessary must eat-and
who sends the editor a ten cent water
melon that has been plugged and
failed. with the message that "Mr.
Glucose, the enterprising corner gro
Ger, has just received a car load of fine
Georgia melons," there was danger of
offending the merchant tailor who
" makes" his trade as he makes his
suits, and who 50 caters for that class of
trade that advertising will not inau-
ence,' and who has been known to
give misfit suit for a three line local