Beverly banner. [volume] (Beverly, N.J.) 1877-1964, 1890-02-22
VARIETIES.

A lucky mana man who marries
a widow whose first husband was mean
to her.
Act well at the moment, and you
have performed good action to all
eternity.
Courtesy doesn't cost much, but it
pays mighty big interest on the in
vestment.
There are some things a drawf can't
do, but he can catch just as big cold
as a giant.
An engagement is a very fragile
thing. 1t cannot be dropped without
breaking it.
A "pink and green party" at Vine
land, N. j., turned out to be a water
melon feast
You just bring a couple Of little
quarrels into your family and they'll
breed like sparrows.
A woman readily pardons the min
ister's feelings. To her it's human to
forgive divines.
One of the greatest blessings you
can enjoy is tender, honest and en-
lightened conscience.
Things are pretty evenly divided in
this world after all Even the poorest
baby has its rockaway.
Love, that has nothing but beauty
to keep it in good health, is short-lived
and apt to have ague fits.
Failure in a good cause may yet be
honorable whilst success in bad
cause can only be infamous.
"He who hesitates is lost" but the
man who bulges right ahead does not
always work into one.
More is accomplished by doing each
days work faithfully than by crowding
two days work into one.
The woman who pretends to laugh
at love is like the child who sings at
night when it is afraid.
Every man ''is hunting for a grip
until he is married Then he takes a
rest and his wife begins.
It's very monotonous to be rich, but
there is variety about being poor that
sometimes makes one weary.
An Omaha man has an egg he
claims he has kept for ten years 1t
must be a decade egg, Of course.
Many an object in life must be OBJ
tanned by flank movements it is the
zigzag road that leads to the top.
The new color of PATHS hair is the
shade that makes the white horse feel
doubtful whether to follow or not.
Tommy-Say, paw, was there best
man at your wedding? Paw should
remark There she sits right now.
We can give good advice, but con-
slant vigilance will hardly insure us set
ting good example half the time.
When married woman goes out TO
look after her rights her husband is
usually left at home with his wrongs.
Sunday school teacher Johnny,
what part of the East did the wise men
come from ?" Johnny-"From Har-
ward"
There is only one thing that pleases
woman more than to be referred to as
dove, and that is to hear a man referred
to as a hawk.
The lessons of life make a deeper
impression than the lessons of books,
because they touch the heart before
| they reach the head.
"Heaven was cruel when it made
woman" said one of George Eliot's
people; society was savage when it
made governesses.
1t is asserted that there are eighty
different varieties Of tomato, not includ-
inc the canned. The tomato also has
a variety Of pronunciations.
The Record suggests dropping a
nickel in the slot and getting rid Of the
train-boy. The better way would be
to drop the train boy in the slot.
-"What are you doing nova
days ?' Brown-"Nothing. Living
on my wits" Smith-'Poor fellow!
Come in and take dinner with me-"
James, you have been fighting. I
can tell it by the look in your eye"
eyes, but, mother, you should see the
look in the other boys eyes"
Johnson-"By the way, did you ever
see the sun rise" Jenkins-''No |
can't say that | ever did. think I've
always been in bed before that
Brownson-"P Pleasant time at the
party last night?" Smithson-"No
inexpressibly dreary. There was a
young man there who tried to be fun
ny"
Everything comes and goes. To-day
in joy, tomorrow in sorrow; we adj
vance, we retreat, we struggle; then
the eternal and profound silence of
death.
She-'1t must have been an awful
storm to blow away the lighthouse
Cholly-"T Terrible, my dear; but it
could only have been through careless
ness that there was lighthouse in
such and exposed place"
The librarian of the Pittsburg library
strikes a resounding blowfor her sex.
She says that while the bad bold boy
is devouring novels his gentle sister is
assmilating philosophy and facts via
Carlyle and Kant.
The car had run off the track
"Well," said the old man, 81 think it
is time street cars were run on scienti-