davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Blue-grass blade. [volume] (Lexington, Ky.) 188?-19??, 1890-11-22

less it was one of these preacher
petting women And yet that
little joke on fashionable eccles-
iastical tiubbery, not more than
fifteen years ago, caused a seven
days sensation in this town.
Another time, about twelve
years ago, Talmage came here
and down in the old opera house
got Oft a lot of stuff that was not
half as good a lecture as l de-
livered down there to twenty.
seven people paid for the opera
house myself, paid for my own
admission and gave the gross
proceeds to Mayor johnson for
city charities.
Talmage's lecture was misera-
bly, bad. ! was reporter for the
Press. All the other newspapers
in town, either because they did
not know any better or in keep
ing with their policy which. they
sill maintain, that gives tatty to
all preachers, piled the eulogiums
on Talmage like he had done
something great. said the
lecture was no good, and got OFT
IL few old chestnuts on Brother
Talmage, the whole thing not
being more than a quarter OF a
column. | was fired for writing
it.
AIy friend who now complains
that he does not get The Blade is,
in the city, my next door
neighbor. He came aud warned
me most earnestly us a friend that
such comments would ruin me. aud
| would have to he careful to keep
my ideas to myself; and | felt mis-.
erablc and contemplated suicide,
and wished | never had been born,
or had waited about fifty years
longer before | was born, 50 that |
would find people in the world that
had sympathy with me.
But now, though Talmage is Il
rampant Prohibitionist, ! could
say every thing about him that |
then said, and that he was for all
the Doodle that's in religion beside,
and my friend and patron not only
will not be offended at it, but he
will kick like "A mule il he doesn't
get his paper regularly, that is tell
ing him these very same things,
and proposes still to tell them.
4 few years later Colonel
Fletcher Johnston, now of Wa,n-
ington, knocked me clean out, and
caused me to hang up The Blade
Blue-grass blade. [volume] (Lexington, Ky.) 188?-19??, 1890-11-22
Going for Our Editors.

Papers of the State, Demo-
cratic and Republican, are quot
ing the BLADES statement, that
in the city of Lexington large
proportion of the population of
which are Confederate Colonies,
Democratic politics is dished ont
to them by two two editors, one
of whom was in the Federal
army and the other Il home guard
during the war. In addition to
this, Polk, now of Middlesbor-
ough, late II Democratic editor OF
Lexington, was IA Federal soldier,
and one of the private advisers
of Grant: and Townsend, of the
Transcript, (Dem.l was the only
Union man in Mississippi, when
he had to leave there and come
North because the climate got too
rarm for him down there. Does
look u little singular.
Blue-grass blade. [volume] (Lexington, Ky.) 188?-19??, 1890-11-22

izatiOn of cranks, and they have
found the desired determination IN
Prohibition.
They write letters to me ant
claim to be cranks, and all three
of these orders are equally Jealous
against the liquor traffic. have
only yet known but one nationalist
who is not Prohibitionist. He
is a very learned man.
| am going to recall some facts
that you will remember, that will
show you the growth of senti-
ment in favor of the practical in
religion and the corresponding
secession from Ecclesiasticism
and the fear of priestcraft.
About fifteen years ago wrote
an article for the Lexing on
Press called "a Lay Sermon for
Preachers and being lay SER
mon it laid for them.
The worst thing in it was my
ridicule OF an Episcopal preach.
er's coming out before all the
people with a "night gown on"
in the day time.
| poked all sorts OF fun at it
and rung all the changes on it.,
aud everybody laughed but the
EpiscOpalians; and they didn't
laugh worth a cent.
The same genius that now full
inmates through that organ then
smOle the benignant smile that
now Eliminates the sanctum of
the r. ess.
Captain Jesse Woodruff in
those days,as an employed editor,
furnished brains for the Press
My piece was published in the
absence of the proprietor, and
Captain Woodruff, by far the
most competent newspaper man
in the town, was discharged from
his position for printing it and
has never since engaged in jour.
nalism.
The discharge OF Captain
Woodruff was done by IL man of
the high order OF intelligence OF
the Press proprietor, to placatc
the offended reli gions sentiment
of IL part OF this community that
was SO large that the papers pro-
prietor thought it teXpedient to du
this.
Yet could print that same
piece in the BLADE to day and | do
not suppose there is an Episcopal
ian intown that would be silly
enough to get mad about it, I'M {.
Blue-grass blade. [volume] (Lexington, Ky.) 188?-19??, 1890-11-22

You good people that have got.
ten an idea into your heads that
there is something that lays il ovcI
money to make men and women
happy. get your preachers on to-
this racket, and the first thing you
know you will for the first time in
your lives know what is meant by
the saying "From the days OF
John the Baptist until now, the
Kingdom of Heaven suffcrcth vio.
lcnce, and the violent take it 10y
fOrce-and all men rush into it,
All of my people will be up in
the Amen corner, and we'll have
meetings that will get away with
Brother Wharton's, aud the an
gels will come down here to see
what's up and what's to pay.
Blue-grass blade. [volume] (Lexington, Ky.) 188?-19??, 1890-11-22
Lexington Christians EvOlu.
ting.

| am going to tell you some
thing tOlerable funny that you
have thought about, and you will
say so when you read it.
1t is suggested by the fact that
my good friend and aeighbor in
this city has complained several
times lately because the BLADE
did not get to him all right. l
am going to rctaliate just "a little.
He and his wife are thoroughly
orthodox Christian people and
have been SO ever since | knew
them. | have one Of these bad
memories that never forgets any
thing, and | nearly always find a
chance to get even with Il fellow
if it takes forty years to do it.
You Christian people are evo-
luting and you don't know it, and
you wouldn't care if you did
know, and you couldn't help your
selves if you did care, and l have
helped you to evolute and l pro-
pose to do it still further, and you
are not very badly scared by my
plain, outspoken proposition.
have for years been trying to
get intO to your heads that the
Christian religion is something to
do rather than something to be-
tiene, and the year of the Lord is at
hand when the public estimate OF
a Christian is going to be the man
who practices toward his fellow
man the good deeds that Jesus of
Nazareth taught, and the people
wont care u snap whether that
man believes that Jonah swallowed
the whale or the whale swallowed
Jonah, or the whole thing was Il
fish story that wouldn't do to tell
to the marines; while on the
other hand, the man who claims
to believe everything in the Bible,
and may believe everything in it,
who sings psalms and prays and
votes for whisky and is in favor OF
licensing certain unmentionable
houses, as | heard a preacher OF
this city say he was, will be called
an inii.lel and hypocrite. The peo-
pie that ar. encouraging this SEN
iimcnt are pretty equally divided
into parties calling themselves
Prohibitionists. liationalists and
Cranks.
Without joking. their seems to
be u regular demand for I'M organ
Blue-grass blade. [volume] (Lexington, Ky.) 188?-19??, 1890-11-22

the COW.
But just az Uncle Sam is go.
ing to shoot, a Kentucky Demo.
crat says, "Hold on, Uncle Sam
don't kill the hen that lays the
golden egg. How are we going
to raise 'Revenue' to pay the
current expenses of the Govern.
mcnt without that COW p
| Aud you see that Uncle Sam
has dropped his gun from his
eye, when he had drawn bead
on that cow to hit her bshind
the shoulder and 60 right into
her vitals; and Uncle Sam says
he has to give it Up, because he
cant see how he is going to
raise "Rsvenue" without the
COW. .'..
But on the left there, in that
humble house, with his front
porch hardly as high as his head,
is a Farmers Alliance man who
Is a party PrOhlbitiOnist and who
votes with the ProhibitiOnists as
the shortest cut to getting at
what the farmers want. lie is
yelling out to Uncle Sam, and
this is what he says: "ShOOt that
COW! She's a blamed old stray
anyhow, and eats up $50 worth
of my hay every year. Kill the
cow and [ will pay you the 50
that you get every year for REV
enue, out OF my own pocket, by
direct taxation, and make S7l by
the transaction"
THE BLADE wants every Far
mers' Alliance mag in the whole
country to study this beautiful
monotint, and tell me honestly if
that old PrOhibitionist hasn't got
a better head for farming busi-
ness than Uncle Sam, and that
Democratic politician, and all
those Republican politicians away
back by the mountains, all put |
Blue-grass blade. [volume] (Lexington, Ky.) 188?-19??, 1890-11-22

but we will let it go at $500, ,OOO,.
600. A hundred millions of dol.
lars would be considerable, il
mentioned in connection with
sending the gospel to the heath
en-, or building free schools, or
charitable institutions, but as an
investment in Kentucky whisky
and beer, that gives to men the
personal liberty to get drunk
and kill somebody, or whip their
wives, it's not enough to contend
about, and we will let the cost of
that haystack 60 for 100000, 900,
as indicated by the artist, aud
based on a congressional report
of a committee appointed for that
purpose.
That calf Revenue run, with
its man ny and gets every drop
OF the milk. So that all. that
COW has to do is to raise one calf
like that every year.
Now, the very same congress
sional committee, made solely of
Democrats and Republicans, and
without Prohibitionist on it,
reports to the Government that
that calf, as a yearling, will sell
for $9O,0OO,O00 (ninety millions
of dollars).
When We get up into the mil
lions, it's hard to think about
relative values; so we "cut off"
sevsn cyphers from the cost of
the hay that the COW eats and
from the value of the calf, "not
at weaving time." but as a year
ling. and we find that we are
..!!! d!s! $ feeding $40 worth of
regular race-horse pure timothy
to a COW that does nothing but
raise 50 calf every year.
Now, you see "Uncle Sam"
over on the right there has been
figuring on this kind of farming,
and he has concluded to "come
around with sh )tgun" and kill
Blue-grass blade. [volume] (Lexington, Ky.) 188?-19??, 1890-11-22

~ COm1pOSluuO0 on ''ImC cow
The above engraving, from {
photograph by Mullen, is o 'feret
to the readers of TIE BLADE
without extra charge, just as the
New York Voice offers 1.-THE An.
gelus."
This picture is intended to
present the Prohibition argu.
ment to the Farmers Alliance
people.
All previous compositions
on "The Cow" have assumed
that THE COW is a very useful
animal" This COW is an excep-
ton to that rule.
The original of "The Angelus"
is the property of Postmaster
General Wannamaker. The orig.
inal of this picture is the property
of X. B. Neal, editor of The
Worker (Prohibition).
1t will be noticed that this
COW is not O "shOrthorn." The
only short horns that have ever
been popular in this State were
on cattle.
This picture ought not to re-
quire "key" to It, but the ar
gument for liquor has been 80
thoroughly indoctrinated into
the Kentucky mind that it re-
quires diagram to get the peo-
pie of this country to see any
force in anything that opposes it.
A Farmers Alliance man
ought certainly to know about
cows and ha -sm a farmer
and know 81 sm: You see
.aSis .liquo sl.ll1.c g s
thing on wheels. The COW is as
big as that farmer and his two
story house put together.
That cow eats hay stack like
that every year. The corrected
reports OF the cost of that hay
say, that the hay that that COW
eats costs $900,OO0,000 a year; |
Blue-grass blade. [volume] (Lexington, Ky.) 188?-19??, 1890-11-22
Mr.. George Handy, Of HarrOsis.
burg. Talks Like a Mum
for Woman.

,, For Mrs. WOore : - Socia
science atfirms that woman
place in society marks the leve
of civilization. From its twi
light in Greece, through the Ital
! ian worship of the Virgin, tn,
dreams of chivalry, the justice
of the civil law, and the equality
of French society, we trace heI
gradual recognition while ou1
common law, as Lord Brougham
confessed, was, with relation t.
woman, the opprobrium of the
age and of Christianity. For
forty years, plain men and women
working noiselessly, have washed
away that opprobrium; the
statute books OF thirty ye'rs have
been remodelled, aud woman
stands to-day almost face to face
with her last claim-the ballot.
1t has been weary and thank
less, though successful struggle.
But if there be any refuge from
that CHASTITY curse, the vice of
great cities, before which social
science stands palsied and dumb,
it is in this more equal recogni-
tion of woman. If, in this crit
ical battle for universal suffrage,
our fathers noblest legacy to us
and the greatest trust God leaves
in our hands-there be any
weapon, which once taken from
the armory will make victory
certain, it will be, as it has been
in art, literature and society,su
moning woman into the political
arena" -.-----
The London Times proclaimed
more than twenty years ago that
intemperance produced more
idleness, crime, disease, want
and misery than all other causes
put together; and the Westmin
lister Reoiec calls it "a course that
far eclipses every other calamity
under which we suffer- Glad
stone, speaking as Prime Minis
ter, admitted that "greater cal
antilles are inflicted on mankind
by intemperance than by the
three great historical scourages-
war, pestilence and famine DE
Quincy says "the most remarka-
BILE instance of a combined move
ment in society which history,
perhaps, will be summoned to
notice is that, which in our day
has applied itself to the abate-
ment of intemperance.'
"No one supposes that lo'r can
make men temperate. Occasion
ally some sot betrays the average
level of liquor intelligence by
fancying thu to be our belief and
plan. Temperance men, on the
contrary. have always known
and argued that we must trust
to argument, example, social in
tluence and religious principle to
make men temperate. But lar
can shut up those bars and dram
shops which facilitate and find
which double our
taxes, make our streets unsafe
for men OF feeble resolution, treble
the peril to property and life and
make the masses tools IN the hands
of designing men to undermine
aud cripple iars."
Blue-grass blade. [volume] (Lexington, Ky.) 188?-19??, 1890-11-22
AR. parEcr on Sacramental line.

II is high time that Intoxicating wine
WAS banlshed from the sarramental serv.
ice, 1t has driven men To long aban-
doned habits OF inte,nperancc.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1890-11-08
A Word Painting OF Thomas Carlyle and
Jane Welch.

A Word Painting OF Thomas Carlyle and
Jano Wclch.
That was witty and kindly thrust that
DR.. Milburn made last night at st. Paul's
church. It was his first lecture in Helena,
before small but highly intellectual au-
dience. He related Carlyle's efforts on the
lecture platform to supply his household
wants. "The people who attended" said
Mr.. Miiburn, unlike those of; Helena, were
admirers Of literature but very few in num-
bers." Mr.. Milburn's sketch of the un-
happy union of that great intellectual giant
Thomas Carlyle, of homely Scotch man
ners, to Jane WEIGH, the highly cultured
and we'll bred gentlewoman, was SCHOLAR
" effort somewhat marred by mannerisms
Of delivery and gesture. His word paint
ing of Jane Welch's accomplishing wifely
devotion to the rugged Scotchman is liter
airy gem, and his recital of the homely and
pathetic Incidents that rose as mile stones
in her sorrowful lifes touches a responsive
chord. The picture drawn by the siRhtle .
lecturer of Carlyle's lonely grief and Of
what his wife had been to him hushed the
audience.
The too late realization of her grand and
womanly fidelity to him seemed almost to
span that gulf which was between them
Carlyle's pilgrimages to her grave, whore
he would remain PROSTATE for hours. There
are many incidents in the history of the
strangely mated pair which are related with
thrilling interest by DR.. Milburn.
His last lecture in Helena during the
evening at st. Paul's church on Broadway.
The subject is, Aaron Burr, the most
romantic character in American political
history.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1890-11-08
BUTTE ROMAN CATHOLICS.

Aru>.,. ,,.~As
'' 70 nlsnoP nronoeA AvsaAAns NosA-
Ing. They Look Eisewhere.
The Anaconda Standard OF yesAerday
prints the FOLLOWING undar ! Rntte date.
Monn ;...s,:r. ~ ..-...rs. ps
uy in'enleens ana cnasassnAo nonan
Catnoilcs OF this city, having heard wath
affection remarks Of the Rt. Rev. Bishop G..
b. Brondel, against Rev. p. B. Champagne,
which thew th;rk rrch.r;tahla h.ya nnani-
10y .1n ~, uno y. 49, -
mousiy signed the following pesition. ana
encouraged him to present it personally 70
the Most Rev. Archbishop G. 81. 0oss, Of
Portland. Ore.
The ravara,,a f..h., .4.~..a ,..taraav hv
,o,enu ia.ues ssal 'eu see'e.' -
the unlon Pacific train.
PETITION.
To His Grace. the Most Rev. w. ], Gloss,
Archbishop Of OREGON: We. the under
signed, Roman Catholic members Of the st.
read in the daily nanar. the Auacouda
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1890-11-08
TR|PPEO AND D|SARMED.
An Affair Which Started Out IS
Tragedy and Wound up
as Comedy.
NJ. A. MeyendorR and Will Bach
Have an Encounter at
The Helena.
There was q Knife and . Good Deal Of
Talk HUT Nobody Got
Badly Hurt

Considerable excitement prevailed about
the lobby and the bar room of The Helena
last night over an encounter between N. :.
Meyendorff and E. w. Bach, both we'll
known citizens of Helena. The two had
gotten into dispute over politics and some
pretty hard names were exchanged. Meyen-
dorff was pretty angry at q remark made by
Bach, and going out to the desk borrowed
knife Of tho night clerk. Stepping up to
bystander Meyendorf asked him to open
the blade. The gentleman promptly
opened the small blade. mot that one.
The big blade" exclaimed Meyendorff. The
error was promptly corrected and the
bloodthirsty Meyendorf thrust the open
knife in his pocket and started for the door
of the bar room.
Up to this time it had never occurred to
anybody to inquire why the knife was
wanted. though Meyendorif had been heard
making threats. Nor had it occurred to
any one to ask why man with the full use
of both hands should want somebody else
to open knife for him. Nobody smelled
blood and nobody seemed concerned about
whether the gentleman with the knife was
going to pare his finger nails or simply
carve man, until the climax was nearly
reached. Then, and only then, did some
one whisper to the man who had opened
the knife that it was ''out for blood" The
word was quickly passed to Bach, and he
was, 90 to speak, ION to it."
Stepping to the door of the bar-room,
Meyendorff called Bach out. Bach walked
toward his late adversary 40 if totally I'M
conscious that the latter was loaded for
bear. When they were face to face, how
ever, Bach, looking Meyendorff squarely
in the eyes, informed him that the existence
and whereabouts Of the knife were we'll
known, ''but." he added. ''if you attempt
to use it, I'll kill you.'' just how Meyen--
dorf would have taken this threat, and
just how many minutes were to elapse be-
tween Bach at The Helena and Bach in
eternity will never be known, in the
light Of subsequent events. The words
were scarcely uttered before Meyendorf
was lying on his back. Bach had dexter
ously put his foot behind his enemy. and
catching him by the throat. thrown him
backward.
Hands up,'' cried Bach, as he placed
one knee ON the chest of the PROSTATE man.
'.My hands are up." replied Meyendorf.
and up-or rather out-they went.
Some one in the crowd relieved the
fallen man of his weapon, and peace
reigned in Helena once more.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1890-11-08
THE MERRY DANCE.

Armory Hall 10 the soene Of Social
Success.
Whenever the militia boys announce a
ball at the Armory the event 10 sure to
prove success and the occasions are al
ways looked forward to with great deal of
pleasure. II goes without saying that the
enjoyable affair which took place last night
at the Arlnory scored another success for
Montana's citizen soldiery. While the
management of the bali was under the Inn
mediate direction of the members Of Troop
A, yet it cannot but reflect with great credit
upon the other local companies who con-
tributed 90 much to its success by tho
presence of themselves and their fair part
per6.
The large Armory in which these social
events are given is rapidly growing into
favor, offering so many superior advant-
ages. The hall has probably the best dane
ing floor in Montana, while there are ample
arrangements in the way Of cloak rooms
and space for serving collations. A bril-
liant series Of dancing entertainments will
be given during the course of the winter.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1890-11-08
ON TRIAL FOR FORGERY.

james McGovern Charged With Passing .
Bogus 800 Check.
James McGovern was on trial in the dis
trict court yesterday on a charge of forgery.
His alleged selconsisted in passing a
bogus check for 800 on the First National
bank on September last. The check pur-
ported to have been signed by George Wells
d 90, and endorsed by 4. Steinbrenner and
McGovern himself. It was very clumsily
executed affair, the final letter being left of
the word George Several witnesses testi-
fed to the good character of the accused,
and the state in rebuttal undertook to show
to the contrary. All the evidence was heard
and the case will be summed up to-day.
County Attorney Nolan appears for the
prosecution and G. G. Newman and Thomas
D. Penny for the defense.