Morning journal and courier., 1890-10-13
REMARK ABLE.

Blinks-Been travelling in Europe, eh. How did you find the hotels. links Hired a cab.-Good News.
 Photographer-"Now try to look like yourself" (Noting the effecD "Well, CT, try to look like somebody else. Life
 Quite a remarkable thing happened to blind carpenter the other day-he took his hammer and saw.-Commercial Bulle- tin.
 McAtkins (very tiresome}-Want to hear something funnyl Old Crusticus-No; I've heard it before. Life.
 A southern preacher recently advised his congregation to be saved in the nick of time from the Nick of eternity.-The Jester.
 When man begins to show signs of be- coming a crank, the indications are that he has reached turning point in life.-De- troit Free Press. George (to debutante sister|-I'm almost | sorry to see you go into society, Edith; you l are like a rosebud-so pure, SO innocent Edith-Never mind, George, can learn Puck.
 Customer-"My watch which you re- | paired for me some time ago has stopped" Jeweler-'Ah! my collector informs me that the bill is still running. .n-New York Herald.
 An Erroneous Proverb-Miss O,Rally- Now, Freddy, Twill hear you recite your notl Freddy, what do you mean!" History repeats itself,' you know.'--- Puck.
 "Did you recognize your wife at the masquerade ball last nighti'
 s'Not until patted her shoulder, and she whispered to me; Iemuel, don't make fool of yourself, you old donkey."- Chicago Post.
 Johnson-I understand that Skinner has made his wife present of house and lot wonder how he came to be so liberal with her. Jackson-Probably to get the property out of the reach of his creditors. Lowell Citizen.
 s'Rastus," said the judge, "this is seri- ous charge you bring againstMr. Smithers. Will you swear to it2"
 "Sw'ar to it! Sutt'nly, jedge. I'd sw'ar to anything to oblige you, judge."- Harper's Bazaar.
 ''Here, fork over that watch!" said the road agent as he slipped the travellers roll about it." "Great Caesar!n expostulated the tourist, ssyou wouldn't take mans time and his money, too, would youa"- Washington Star.
 Miss Tablette-''The wretch!. and so he has been proposing to both of usg' Miss Benton-'It seems so." Miss Tablette-
 q wish we could think of some horrible way to punish him." Miss Benton-ssJ , have it." Miss Tablette-oWhat is itg' Miss Benton-"You marry him, dear T |, Judge.
 "Do you know" she said, 'tthat clock
 reminds me of you every time look at it , Do you notice anything peculiar about it "Why-no; reallye can't say that do,
 he replied, as he drew nearer, 'sexcept tha,
 it doesn't go." Then he got red in the } face, and in a few moments vanished , Washington Post. : Here is an example of a superlative con
 ception of numbers, or quantity, by mind that has had only four years to thinl of such big things: ! 'sHow much do you love mel" her fathe asked Bettina. n GAS many pounds" she answered brisk ly, "as twenty times all the counting ther n is and twenty millions more than thatl"-
 Boston Transcript. ol Her father-Mabel, have been talkin it over with your uncle George, and l. agrees with me that the engagement can l. not be permitted. Remember that tn [: young man is nothing more than cler . in my office. She-Oh, but papa, yo
 don't know how smart Jack is! He tol IS me the other day that he expected b 3, would soon own more of the business tha