The Logan County banner. [volume] (Logan, W. Va.) 1889-1903, 1890-01-16
"a LITTLE NONSENSE.

-Teacher-"Can any of the class ex-
plain to me why the way of the trans
gressor is hard2. Scholar-..I guess its
cause it's travelled SO much. Omaha
World.
-.'Marriage," remarked Biggs, sis a
sort of brief swoon. When was first
married Mrs. b. and thought we were
one, but it wasn't long before we came
two. Boston Transcript.
Salesman - THAT piece Of goods
will work up into serviceable dress il
you don't think the pattern is too loud. .
Purchaser-'s0, not at all. The lady
I'm buying it for is deaf mute Bling
hamton Leader.
misunderstanding I got, doctor?'
Young Physician-'I can't tell exactly
whether it is rheumatism or smallpox,
but I've been called in to see man with
the smallpox, and when see what he
looks like III come back and tell you.s
Life.
Pound for Pound. -Moore-"Did You
save as much money as you thought you
would by spending the summer in the
country" Poore with hard, bitter
laugh)-"Saye money! Why, my wife
has put up sixty jars of preserves
Time.
-Boggs-sI see that some OF these
gas wells play serious pranks with con-
sumers by suddenly giving out What
do you suppose is the cause OF it?''
Knoggs-sI don't know unless it is some
gas trick disturbance in the bowels OF
the earth. Detroit Journal
Miss Priltie--"G Grandma, Mr.. Pat
tots Is going to give me an elegant ring
set with carbuncle."A Grandma thor
rified)-''You mustn't take it, child!
Don't touch it! Your grandpap's Uncle
Joe had one o. them carbuncles, an died
with itinside o three weeks. Jewel
ers' Weekly.
-''Poys, vot you all here for" ex-
claimed the astonished young BRIDE
groom, unacquainted with the customs
Of this free country, as he came out and
faced the mob of hoodlums. "Vot for you
make all dis chimminy racket" This
is a pan-American -serenade, p explained
the boy with the battered coffee-pot and
shovel. And the terrific din broke loose
again. Chicago Journal
Sarcastic Father-.'Julia, that young
man Smiley has been here three nights
in succession, and it has been nearly
midnight when he left. Hadn't you bet
ter invite him to bring his trunk and
make his home with us?" Innocent
Daughter-"Oh, papa! may l? 1t is just
what he wanted, but was too bashful to
ask you. He'll be delighted when tell
him this evening. Y. Ledger.
-Diner-"You have waited upon me
very acceptably, and / have enjoyed my
meal thoroughly. You have behaved
like gentleman, and a gentleman you
certainly are, notwithstanding your
humble occupation" Waiter-sT hope,
sir, that am gentleman. always
try to be one." Diner-"It is as sus-
pected. And, being gentleman, / shall
not insult you by offering you money.
Perhaps at some time | may be able to
reciprocate your courtesy. Till then,
farewell. Boston Transcript.
Lady Visitor lat office of eminent
physician have called, doctor. to
ask II there is any cure for, sleep walk
ing. have had the habit for years, and
lately it has become worse" DIR. High
price-"It can be cured, madame. Take
this prescription and have 1t filled at
Colde, Steele q Co.'S" '..Colde, Steele
a Co.'S? Why, that is not drug stored
It Is hardware firm" Eyes, madame.
The prescription calls for paper OF
tacks. Dose: Two tablespoonfuls scat
tered about the floor before retiring, -
y X. Weekly.