davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1890-05-31

lots of foolish things, and at the end
the young man who played the minister
insisted on kissing the bride. Then my
mock husband insisted, and-oh! dear
melt was very notifying, and until
that wretched performance was given
had TO endure all sorts OF banter and
Jest. Then came the tragedy. A few
days after the performance my mock
husband was thrown from his carriage
and instantly killed. OF course / was
shocked, together with his other friends,
but you may imagine my surprise when
his will was unsealed to find that he
had left, after few minor requests,
all his thirteen millions to me, his
wife!"
"Whew!" exclaimed Mr.. Drane,
softly, and he looked hard ut the
ground to conceal the incredulity that
he know must show itself in his eyes.
~ then learned" continued the
Young woman, "that tho man who per-
formed the mock ceremony was author
lied to do it in real earnest, and that
the presence Of witnesses and the
other features of New York law made
the marriage legal. 1t was carried to
the courts and so decided. Behold me,
then, widow with great wealth. The
situation was not wholly pleasant, for
people talked and suitors came In
troops. So went abroad. Yesterday
I arrived in America again. know
nothing Of this city, and yielding to
nv maids advice went to the Adams
Hotel. That was in the early after
noon. My trunks were to follow me
this morning. Fatigued with the
worry of landing and the waiting
for customs officers and feeling
the approach of sick headache,
| retired. About six o'clock ] awoke re-
freshed to find that my maid had disap-
pearcd with my clothing, my handbag
gage and oil my money. She had left
me what now wear, which was forced
to nut on. The clerk of the hotel very
impudently discredited my story; said
that my mistress had paid the bill and
gone, and that was to follow her to the
st. Cloud. He added, moreover, that
two games OF tho kind in one day were
more than he could stand. was not
clear as to his meaning, but i under
stood him to refer TO some man who had
attempted to impose upon the house
earlier in tho day with similar story"
eyes, that was me-" groaned Nj.
Drane, ungramnatically.
'In sheer desperation" continued the
hapless widow, ~ went to the st.
Cloud, but, Of course, found no trace OF
nv maid. Since then l have wandered
about most Of the time in this park,
supperless, sleepless and, until you in
terposed, friendless." -
''Madam," said Mr.. Drane, when she
had finished, ''your tale Is most in
teresting."
"And clever fabrication, ! supposeT
she added, sadly
"No, madam, do not say that" he
exclaimed, in confusion, for he was
struggling hard to believe it. "Iam not
a widower, and have not been robbed
by nv valet, but otherwise l am In
situation to trust your account OF your
career implicitly. Somebody has taken
my clothing. my money, my credit, my
name, my identity from me, and
[ro DE Continued s
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1890-05-31

L
himself into fair frenzy OF interest
about her. He longed to see her face
but that she kept persistently con-
.cealed; to hear her voice, but not oven
a low sob rewarded his attentive ear. A
moment more and he would have re-
sumed his miserable self-contemplation'
but his interest in the young woman
was sustained by an unexpected cpl
-sode. sg
Across the park came stroihng idly q
man such as tho night wanderer IN New
York may meet at any hour. He wore
an approved silk hat ana the complete
uniform Of an evening'diner. The col
lar Of his light overcast WIS turned up
about his neck, bnt itwas not hettoned.
e It was clear that Le had dined wisely
and played with . cOolfhead afterwards
and was now going homo on principle,
holding it Us q canon Of gcntemanly be-
havior that one should always DO In bed
by sunrise.
Mr.. Drane did not observe this vision
oil prosperous ,iadolence until 1t paused
directly before the weeping young
woman. 1t was clear that tho man
addressed her, for sho started sud
.aanly and toOk her .kerchief from her
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1890-05-31
Rocked on the Crest Of tho Wave.

traveller. speedily begins, and not only bo-
gins, but continues, to feel the extreme OF
human misery during his transit across the
tempestuous Atlantic. But II, with wise
prescience, he has provided himself with Q
supply Of Hostetter's Stomach Bitters, his
panes are promptly mitigated. and then
cease ere the good ship again drops her
anchor. This Is worth knowing, and thou
sands Of our yachtsmen, summer voyagers,
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1890-05-31

ve must all como to- he said, and
imagine that fellow would feel much
better before the altar ifhe had learned
how to 20 through the motions The
others, silly young things! were nred
with tho idea and without further
thought arranged tho furniture 30 as 70
represent an altar, the chancel rail and
all that"
"a very reprehensible proceeding"
commented Mr.. Drane. The young
woman was about to proceed when q
gray-coated officer, one OF those guardi-
ans OF public parks ironically known
rs .'sparrow chasers," stepped up and
addressed Mr.. Drane:
"Say, yous, do you think nobody else
don't want to sit down? let you sleep
of your jag here, see? an it's bout time
you moved on, see?"
Mr.. Drane was about to resent the In
reference when the young woman
whispered:
"Say nothing and obey?"
So they rose, and followed for q mo-
ment by the policeman's curious eyes,
walked along the winding path to an
other bench, where they sat down again.
"Oflcious impudence" muttered MIR.
Drane.
"Never mind" said the young woman,
soothingly, The has to do something to
earn his pay. Let me see. where was
on the other bcnch?"
AT the mock chancel rail-"
"Oh, yes; we'll, leased as / was ! con-
sented to the farce, saying that it should
be tho last of my lovers nonsense that 1
would endure. We went through an
absurd rigmarole, they made ma say
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1890-05-31

NEVER fail to cure sick headache, often
the very first dose. This Is what IL said by
ali who try Carter's Little Liver Pills.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1890-05-31

A MUSICIAN IL not necessarily good base
ball player because be knows how TO exc
cute score.-Rome Sentinel.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1890-05-31

TEE strained relations between millEmen
and milk inspectors have never been en-
tirely bridged over.-N. O. Picayune.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1890-05-31

JUsr about the time the Legislators stop
putting in their bills the pesky mosquito
begins.-Yonkers Statesman.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1890-05-31

A POCKET pin-cushion free to smokers oe
'STansill's Punch" &c. Cigars.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1890-05-31

The doctor visits the sick because II
he went often TO the well he would soon
DO broke"
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1890-05-31

TEE saloon-keeper, like the pawnbroker,
thrives on unredeemed pledges. Boston
Courier.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1890-05-31

MAN Is often fonder Of his dogs than he IL
Of his kin; but, then, dog can never con-
test will Puck.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1890-03-05
1t All Depends.

Edith Jagged twenty-three) REALLY.
I'm astonished, jamie, that you have not
more self-control. The idea of being SO
vexed because you have received a comic
valentine! 1t should not cause you even
to frown. A lady never allows herself
to be controlled by her feelings in that
way, never, under any circumstances!
Is this what you are making such an ado
aboutp (Reads) A sauce-box. Oh,
jamie, this is very funny-it really is
most comical. Look at the expression
of that eye. What! you're not crying?
Oh, l wouldn't be baby whatever l
might be. Why, here's another IA de-
ceitful old maid" This is too absurd!
How could girl of fourteen be an old
maid?
jamie (half smiling)-That amt mine,
that's yours. Ma opened it in mis-
take.
Edith-Mine? Who has dared to send
such valentine to me? Who has dared
oh, If can only find out the misera-
ble-the contemplate wretch! Oh,
dear, dear, dear! Bursts into tears.
What have ever done to deserve-oh,
VIII
jamie (sotto voce)-Who's the baby
now?-Judge.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1890-03-05
GEMS OF THOUGHT.

Patience and wisdom will wear out
all which is not of God.-George Fox.
What is resignation? Placing God
between us and our troubles. Mad.
Swetchine.
The sacred Scriptures teach us the
best way of living, the noblest way Of
suffering, and the most comforta BILE way
of dying. -Flavel.
"A pure heart at the end of life, and
lowly mission well accomplished, are
better than to have filled great place
on the earth and have a stained soul
and wrecked destiny.-J. r. Miller.
Death to every man is great real
ity which he can not escape. Happy is
he who so lives that he can meet this
event without alarm, and anticipate for
himself better life when called to re-
tire from this earthly scene.-N. Y. In
dependent.
Every Christian should be in a
church which he calls his own, and to
which he will give unstinted devotion.
1t is right that the great world shall
pour itself into his soul, but as he pours
it out again let him send it through his
own chosen channel. Presby-
| terrain.
This world is all fleeting shOw!"
True, every word of it; but We need not
withdraw into dark corner and give
ourselves over to vain lamentations. 1t
behooves us to find where the path Of
duty lies, and to walk therein soberly;
to the end that those who are now in
toxicated by transitory pleasures may
be led to yearn for higher and eternal
joys. Beyond the fleeting show lie the
everlasting verities. -lnterior.
In present trials it is we'll to think
of past occasions of solitude through
which we have been safely carried.
Time is great revealer. AS We travel
on and remember the way in which we
have been led we see significance in,
and can make an Interpretation of God
dealings which was utterly impossible
when they were encountered. Things
that to-day are involved in darkness,
may appear set in refulgence tomorrow.
Christian Inquirer.
1t has been said that they are the
happiest who know most pain" This
if taken in the literal and absolute
sense, would be a contradiction. Ant
vet it is true. as experience abundant!
shows, that one, in certain respects
may be great sufferer, and at the SAINT
, time. for other reasons be greatly en-
J riched with the highest joys of life
This seems to have been true of Paul
and it is true Of many Christians, Sui
fering itself is often the means throug
which the purest Joys come to the heart
IN. Y. Ipdependont
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1890-03-05
GRuM BLERS.
The Habit of Fault-Finding and It's Bane-
full Effects.


The Habit of Fault Finding and Its Bane-
full Effects.
What is more unpleasant than to hear
a cart go along the roadway with an un-
creased wheel. Squeak! squeak! squeak!
all the way, as if the axle found fault
with the box and grumbled as much as
ever it could? How many people GO
through life in just such manner.
Nothing ever pleases them, nor is it
likely to, for they suffer from the dread
full complaint of chronic fault-fnding.
Unfortunately, these characters are
to be met with everywhere. Go where
you will, discontinued people are found.
A wedding is not thoroughly furnished
with guests, unless one is there to say:
'Well, think there are too many pres
ents, or there are too few presents"
Even if it was the funeral of the last
grumbler that was taking place,
l beliere it would not be
really so, because somebody would
complain of something and be some
what annoyed. They get into chapels
and grumble at nearly every thing and
every body, all the service time; the
minister is too short, or too long, OF
rather his sermon; or the tune was the
~rong meter, too common or peculiar
They pay visits to neighbors and bore
them with long-drawn signs of "Oh
dear, l wish was-or wasn't had OF
| hadn't" ETC., etc.
1t does not matter what the weather
is, whether or no they grumble. Nat
ure needs altering in their opinion. L
the grass were golden instead of green
and the sky scarlet, and the ocean ochre
how much better they would hav'
looked. They would distemper ever.
thing blue, and whitewash the mount
aims, if they had their way. for the,
grumble at the present arrangement O
things in every particular, after tn
fashion of the Cardinal, who cursed tn
Jackdaw.
They grumble at boprd, they grumble il
bed;
From the soles of the; feet .. the crown
their head;
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1890-03-05
Care and RespOnsihility.

Care and responsibility are necessary
elements of human existence. 1t is
sometimes said of young lady that she
never knows what it is to have an
anxious thought, or to have care, or
responsibility; she has health, wealth,
servants aud friends; she has nothing
to provide for, nothing to worry over
But what greater cause for anxiety
could any one have than this? What
greater responsibility than that of be-
ing nothing and doing nothing? One
who finds comfort and peace in suppos-
ing himself without cares may well
take alarm at what ought really to be
his most serious care If he supposes
that he is without responsibility, he
may we'll shudder at the RESPONSE ility
of his own apathy-of assuming to be
without care and responsibility.-S s.
Times
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1890-03-05
A Harmful Custom.

There is custom in connection with
bereavement in the home which we feel
to be harmful in its influence, and that
is the habit of remaining away from
church on the Sunday following dea tn.
Sometimes several weeks intervene be-
fore the members of the family feel that
they can appear at public worship, and
not infrequently it is the beginning Of
neglecting church attendance alto
gether We have the utmost sympathy
with the feeling of shrinking from the
public gaze when the heart is sore with
grief. We know that it requires an eff
fort to conquer this desire to keep
within the scclusion Of home at such
times. But we believe that the cases
are exceedingly rare in which a stricken
soul is not soothed and comforted by
the atmosphere and services of Gods
house. Affection in some form comes
sooner or later into every household,
and we can not afford to deprive our
selves OF the consolation we may re-
ceive from this source.-Congrogation-
alist.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1890-03-05

taliing on his foot. When he mad every
thing on the table he looked around MIN
with ase!f-satisfed air and proceeded to
do the honors. Poor Mr.. Bowser! He
had put the steak into spider without
butter or grease, and it was as black as
coal and rather more tasteless. When
he poured the coffee the grounds insist
ed on filing half the cup, and the eggs
he had fried in some rancid lard the girl
had set away and that could not be APP
preached nearer than two feet. He had
attempted to bake some potatoes, but
they were hardly warmed through. In
his goodness of heart he had toasted me
piece of bread, and when it fell into
the ashes he had wiped off as much for
eign substance as he could with the
| brush broom used about the stove.
tried hard to keep my face straight, but
my feelings finally got away with me,
and Mr.. Bowser looked up with an in
jured air and said:
"You never cooked a better meal in
all your life-you nor any of your rela-
tons for thousand years back!'
Just then I saw that he had used
pie-tin for the butter-dish, and had to
laugh again.
Look here! Mrs. Bowser" he shout
ed, as he bobbed up and almost over
turned the table. This thing has gone
too far-too far! l see now where the
real trouble lies. I see now why no girl
will stay with YOU"
"But this last one was willing to stay"
eyes, and what did you do? De-
graded her in her own estimation until
self-respect obliged her toquit."
"You went out and blew her up"
81 did! l went out and blew! And
who asked me to do it?"
"No one"
"That settles it, Mrs. Bowser-settles
it right here and now! It's the last meat
I'll ever cook for you, and we have had
our last girl! l see why they can't stay.
/ see what's the matter with you and
the other women who employ help, and
l won't be party to it."
81 asked you to let the girl alone
"You did! Never! You begged of me
to go out and throw her over the alley
fence, and her bundle after her and
what must that poor girls feelings be
at this moment! now 90. l may re-
turn or may not. IT not you have the
consolation of knowing what drove me
from my own domicile."
But he returned. All husbands re.
turn. They begin to feel ashamed OF
themselves Def re they are clear of the
gate, and the next hour is spent in fish.
ing for an excuse to return quarter OF
an hour earlier than usual. A girl hap
pened along ust after he left and
hired her, and he hasn't even referred to
the subject ce.-Detroit Free Press
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1890-03-05
An Ineradicable Impression.

De la Creme-My dear D. Aubigny, you
are too difiident. You are rich, talented,
titled-you might shine in society.
Count D. Aubigny-I detest society
that's, detest-hate women!
De la Creme-You amaze me! An un-
fortunate affaire du occur?
Count D. Aubigny (fercely)-Reginald,
YOU will understand me when l tell you
that before l came into my fortune and
title was a street car conductor
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1890-03-05
Motion Not Made.

President Colored Progress Club
Gemmen! hears dat Gineral Biggun is
aggertatin' project ter send de culled
population to Africa, an it's my opin-
yum dat we shud call in body on Gin
eral Biggun an demand his reasons.
Secretary--Mr. President, l reckon
dat wouldn do US no good. He'd only
show us a new pad Lock what he bought
dis AFTERNOON. That paddock, Mr.. Pres
ident an gemmen, am TO- his chicken
coop.-Puck.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1890-03-05

They grumble In eating they grumble In
drinking;
They grumble in coughing, In sneezng, in
wInking;
They grumble in sitting, in standing, in
lying;
They grumble in walking, in riding, in fly.
Ing;
They grumble in living, they grumble In
dying!
Never was heard such terrible growl,
The fact is, that If people want to
grumble, there is plenty of scope in
every department of life for them to ex-
ercise this evil propensity. l can not
help grumbling at grumblers.
One can put up with a great deal, but
when 1t comes to enduring, the east wind
by the week together, it is rather too
much of a bad thing. The biting blast
of continual discomfort seems to freeze
the marrow in your bones, and it
always makes me feel like an ice
| berg. Fault-fnding is as catching
as the measles, and the grumblers
are as bad as the govt. If all would use
the oiled feather many disagreeable
| J"hSiCo Noulu De dVOlueu. ~ llJUl0
grace will go a long way to keep the
grating of discomfort silent. Grease
makes the saw cut through cross-grained
wood easily, and ''contentment with
godliness Is great gain" Paul had much
to put up with, and yet he had learnt
in whatsoever state-therewith to be
content. Grumbling never mends mat.
tiers. If it trains heavily, it can net turn
the water off, and if the sun is scosching
hot, grumbling only makes it warmer.
"A contented heart is a continual
feast" and believe that such people
as are happy under all circumstances
are seldom of the clean kind" Grum
BILE and grow thin; laugh and grow fat.
May we all be saved from being mum
bered with the grumblers. Rev. CHARLES
Spurgeon, in Christian Inquirer
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1890-03-05

Old Bachelor-Now, Arthur, suppose
should give you this nice red book,
what would you say?
Arthur should say you weren't hall
90 stingy as sister said you wese.-
Muusey's Weekly
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1890-03-05

Bowser came in soon after that, coat of,
sleeves rolled up and roller towel tied
around him, and he explained:
II simply asked her If she thought
this house was saw-mill, and she called
me mastodon and few for her bundle.
Is she fair specimen Of the help you
have to deal withP
"Yes."
swell, you and all other housekeepers
have my deepest sympathy. used to
think it was your fault that so many girls
came and went, but want to apologize
and take it all lack"
"But what shall we do?"
"DoP Why, I'll run the kitchen until
after breakfast and then get girl"
After he had been at work for few
minutes crawled out to see how things
were going. He YVES washing dishes.
He had the teapot, milk p tcher, butter
dish, napkin rings, two pie TINS and the
crockery all hea-ed togetN er n dish
pan, and while he was washing them
with dish-towel he was Wi ing them
on one of baby's old skirts taken
from the hamper in tho stairway. There
were streaks of dishwat clear 1own to
his heels, and dozen new G ease-spots
had appeared on floor and tIo-e, but he
insisted that l 60 rirht ba ', and leave
him alone, and hal no Instructions to
give. He had every thin Zone up in
half an hour and when Re came in to sit
down he said:
Every thing out there is as slick as a
pin, and breakfast is all planned for.
That girl would have been sloshing
around until ten o'clock before she had
her dishes done. I'd like to be in your
place about month. I'd make some of
'em wonder why they were ever born"
"But every house has just such
trouble"
"Then you women ought to league to-
gether to protect yourselves.
"What are you going to have for
breakfast"
"Never you mind, Mrs, Bowser. If
don't get you the best breakfast you
have seen in whole year I'll give up
that l don't know nothing about a
house."
About midnight heard him mutter-
Ing in his sleep:
Take two eggs-saleratus-five min.
utes-greased rag-one tablespoonful tc
each person"
1t usually takes me all of twenty min
utes to get Mr.. Bowser out of bed in the
morning, and the task Is never accom-
plished without resort to fiction as t.
the lateness of the hour. On this par
ticular morning he slipped out before
was awake, and he had been working il
the kitchen full hour before l go
down. No man can be made to believ,
that there is right and wrong way II
sheets or table-cloths. Mr.. Bowser hat
set the table just as any other mai
would. The cloth was wrong-side-to
the teaspoons in the celery dish, the
sugar-bowl running over, and the meat
platters and bread-plates had changed
duties. Some of his slices of bread wer
two inches thick, and some almost a
thin as paper, and two of them bore in
disputable proofs that he had cut hi
finger while cutting his bread.
He requested me to sit down while h'
brought in the meal. He had his Gu
finger in a rag, black on his nose, fou
on his ears and his face had that colo
peculiar to red paint. He also wen
lame in his left leg, caused, as l attel
wards ascertained, BY the rolltpg-p&
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1890-03-05
THE BOWSERS.
Mr.. Eowser Takes Turn Playing
Hired Girl.

7 THE supper
table the other
evening, when
M r. Bo W S 9 r
complained OF
the biscuit and
the tea, and
called atten-
ton to the gen.
eral look OF
dill id a ton
which the table
pres n ted, /
feltcalled upon
to reply:
SWELL, as you
know, / have
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1890-03-05
Poultry Raising Under Diflcultles

Tenant-See here, won't pay anoth-
err cent rent until you have repaired the
water pipe in M collar
Agent-What's the matter now?
Tenant-Matter! VIII, the cellar is
full of water. l was raising chickens
down there, but every one of them is
drowned.
Agent-Well, my Gear sir, why in
thunder didn't you raise ducks?
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1890-03-05
HOLIDAY GIFT,
nRRA SEA Wonders exist in thousand,

ukER Of forms, but are surpassed by the
marvels OF invention. Those whc
are In need of profitable work that can be dont
while living at home should ut once send theii
address to Hsllet Co., Portland, Maine, and re
ceive free, full information how either sex, Of
ell ages can earn from IS to s25 per day and
free. Capital not required. Some have made
over $50 in single day at this work. All succeed