The morning call., 1890-04-29
THE ARIZONA KICKER.
Editorial Machinery Sometimes Slips


Editorial Machinery Sometimes Slips a
Cog.
We extract the following from the last is
sue Of the Arizona Kicker, which came out
on half-sheet:
EXPLANAToRY.-W owe our readers an
apology for the half-sheet we were obliged
to issue this week. Monday morning, as
we entered the POStoffice after our mall,
which, by the way, is five times as large as
that OF any other establishment in Arizona,
Mr.. Wanamaker's man Friday, who was
appointed Postmaster against the protests
OIL nlne-tenths OF our people, came out into
the corridor and demanded a personal
apology for what The Kicker said about
him last week. In our pioneer days, when
we lived on roots and hadn't a second shirt
to our back, we used to get down and crawl
whenever requested. We felt that we had
to. We were tenderfoot and lacked sand.
a change came. We haven't been DONG
any creeping for the past two years. On
the contrary, we have had the revolver and
the other man has done the f0uT-legged act.
therefore, when Wanamaker's man Friday
demanded an apology, and took us by the
ear to enforce obedience, we lit onto him
with weight of two tons, and had him
hollering for mercy inside of two minutes.
Before letting him up we took his gun
away, and in some manner it was discharged
ana The bullet went drought the palm OF
our right hand. The wound will prevent
must dictate our copy.
MORE EXPLANATORY. - Wauamaker's
man Friday has a brother named Jim, who
is loafer and cur from way back. We
stated last week that We believed he stole
money letters from the mails, and the state
ment seems to have put some git" into
him. After we had licked his brother and
got back to the office Jim came sneakng
down the street and fired at us through a
hnH n CHI ,f.y,tyn Nt,t hnf rod, n
high that no one was touched, and he was
out OF sight before we got 20 the door.
In few days we are going on hunt for
Jim. We shall locate him and walk in on
him and slice off his ear and nail it on our
Office door. Let him accept this notice as
far warning Of our intentions. While lie
dld not hit US with any of his buckshot the
idea OF such chuckaloo firing at Us with
intent to kill ratified our nerves and gent US
to bed when we ought to have been getting
out copy.
FURTHER EXPLANAToRY-Som three
weeks ago wild-eyed guyasticutus en-
tered this town by the dirt road and struck
us for sit" lie gave the name OF j.
Melville Graham and claimed to have fur
nlshed all the brain fodder for most of the
New York papers for the last ten years. As
he offered TO work for 81 per week and buy
his crackers and cheese from our groce ry
we didn't question him as closely rs we
when we got hurt, and what did the lop-
cared brother of hyena do but 60 off and
get d-hnk and lay down just where Colonel
Ravens drove of mules would run over
him in going to water! He was trampled
out of sight into the sand, and on top of our
other troubles we had to hire him dug out
and buried. But for his kick-over we could
have issued full sheet and got it ont on
time. We've had him carried off to one
corner of our private burying-grOund, and
shall mark his grave; but we don't mourn.
TIE LATEST. - If our readers are not
satisfied with the above explanations, we
have another to fire at them. Owing to our
wounded hand we could not do stroke of
writing. We could dictate, however. and
we hired young BIZ Ellis, son of old Rep
rebate Ellis, TO act as our amanuensis. We
had dictated about half a column, when he
differed with us on how to spell " cordial"
He insisted that it was 'corjul," and rather
than see the English language knocked out,
we ceased debating, fired Bill out, and gave
an old tramp printer $40 and told him to go
ahead and run out half a sheet. It's ali
we could do under the circumstances, and
we beg the indulgence of our subscribers.
Next week we shall be all right, and we
promise an issue Of The Kicker which will
make the sand fly in fifteen dlrections.-
Detroit Free Press.