River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1890-11-06
PITH AND POINT.


Dyspepsia is said to be unknown in
Japan. So are boarding houses.
Horn.
-He-"You are puzzle to me-"
She (coldly1 -"Won, you bad better
give me up."-N Y Herald.
-Tom-''what a quarrelsome fellow
he is. by the way, do you know what
his name is?' Jack - Yes, Make
peace. Yankee Blade.
Did you tell Sl5ittles that was an
infamous liar?" NO. did not Quite
the reverse. in fact said you were
famous one."-N Y. sun.
Mrs Jason--"When they tie up
railroad they don't actually use a rope.
do they?" Mr. Jason-"No; it is gem
orally done with a string of resolutions"
The Interior.
MIR. GIum-''I really believe your
nose turns up. / never noticed ii be-
fore" Mrs. Glum-'1 presume it has
got to turning up since l married YOU"
N. Y. Weekly.
-Neighbor Jones is growing poor be.
cause the street-car fare upon his daily
route has been reduced. Formerly he
saved six cents by walking to his work;
now he saves only five.
Mrs. Strikefre. why are you set
ting the a.ar,s for a. m? ''AiY hus-
band always ccHles a little after that
hour. and be shan't catch me mapping
when he comes. Epoch.
Say. Gussie, who is LucifcrP''
'Lucifer?" repeated Gassie. thought.
fully; ''oh yes, l recolleet now. He is
the manufacturer of certain brand of
match $ Yankee Blade.
-He-..Do you think you love mo
well enough to be my wife?" She
Yes George" He--"Nell. only asked
to ascertain how you felton the subject
so in case / ever should want to marry
would know whore to come The
Epoch.
Mamma Ito Johnny, who has spent
his money for candy and has none left
TO buy a top)-"You can't eat your cake
and have i. too" Johnny when I've
eaten cake would like to know who
has got it if l haven't -Boston Tran
script
Then YOU have made up your
mind, young lady, never to get mar
ried?' Eyes. sir. I'll die an old maid"
but if some young man were to pro-
| pose to you?" "Ah, that would be
different thing altogether"
| istische Blaettcr.
and if you should ever come to
| Berlin, my dear sir. you will always
find me ready to receive you. Pray al
ways come to my place" Thanks, my
lear sir, ! am charmed to have met you.
\ May | ask if you are a hotel-keeper?"
| 40, photographer. "-Fliegcnde Blat-
ter
! Adult Son-''Niother. does a girl
mean 10 encourage or discourage a man
when She" Morher-"My son, there
Is no need of going nto details When
girl starts out TO either encourage or
| discourage a man. the man never has
any doubt about what she means. -
Good News.
-(Scene: Uptown Palace Cafe. Group
Of ''Genials" around table. Terrible
Predicament of Colonel Ncvertreat
who, while pounding the table to en-
phasize one OF his favorite oaths, acct
1entally touches the bell.) Waiter
| Suddenly appearing shall it
be, gentlemen?"-Puek.
1t was growing late. and papa crept
down stairs to warn the young people
that it was too damp to.sit outside any
lohger. Il don't see why you have to
ask me for my hand, Tom" he heard.
as be reached the door; you've been
keeping it all the evening" Papa
quietly retired. -IIarper's Bazaar
-Capers-"I don't see why Chadband,
the minister, should have two months
vacation every summer. I'm sure his
work is easy enough" Smiley-'Of
course, his sermons are lot hard to
write; but just think of all the after
noon teas he has to go to-" Carers
That's So He ought to have three
months. America.
-Imperious Monarch Ito Prime Minis
teri Order my most exalted state
robes and instruct the lord keeper of
the privy seal, the grand lord OF the
imperial bed-chamber. the grand knight
of the wash-basin and all the rest of
the chief functionaries 10 be in readi-
ness for the coming visitor to our
realm" Prime Minister trembling
at shall be done, s. re. Your gracious
pardon. but who is coming?" Impe-
rious Monarch don't know his name,
but he is an American railroad ticket
seller. IN. Y. Sun