Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1890-03-20
THE soAP.PEppLER's WARNING.
And How IT Was Interrupted by an Ener.
getic Little Woman.


getie Little Woman.
A fly-by-night peddler occupied the
entire end Of Eddy and Market streets
few evenings ago and sold soap, saws
the San Francisco EJd1aiRer. His
wares We're not warranted to cure Cali
fornia tleas, nor yet to knock out
Boston's fstic cultivator. j. l.. S."
But he claimed pretty nearly the entire
earth for that soap Of his; said that it
could give man pointer on a horse;
a sure cure for dandrulf; tell the lucky
number in the next lottery drawing
etc, besides removing spots, stains
and smut from the wearing apparel.
de was a very yoluble talker, and a
nuisance as WELL He churned out
"Sweet Yioletsn and "The flowers that
bloom in the Spring, tra-la Ia, on a
lO-cent mouth harmonica, while he
lathered his head with his soap and
produced a foam which would have
done credit to the storm tossed ocean.
Quite crowd gathered around the
fakir's wagon. They watched -
manipulate a pack Of cards draw a
glass Of sherry from a bottle of ink,
unite fourteen knots from a silk hand
kerchief in two consecutive seconds,
and draw a live rabbit'from a nearby
newsboy's ear.
Nov gentlemen, you have seen all
there is to see in the way OF legerde-
main. I'm no Heller, nor am ! q
Hermann. I'm simple plain, three
cornered, old-fashioned. slabsided,
country-cut soap peddler! Before l
ttempt TO eXtOl the virtues of this
Nghly-prized article, which babies cry
pr, mothers jump at and fathers pay
~ small price OF Is cents to keep peace
ia the family, / would like to give YOU
a word OF warning. It's got nothing
to do with the soap. Here it is, free,
gratis for nothing, in just two little
words-don't marry! Marriage, gen'p-
men. is the b'ginning an end of all
troubles. Like a young bear, when you
once get married you've got all your
troubles ahead. ~
just then a stout, energetic little
woman, with light hair and blue eyes
pushed her way through the crowd.
Her face was flaming red, her hands
we're clinched, and it was perfectly
patent to the by-stauders that there
was trouble In store for somebody.
When the fakir caught sight of the
woman he Wited. Not one word could
he say He blew out one of his gaso-
line torchlights in a feeble manner and
attempted TO draw reins on the sad
looking horse attached to his outfit.
The little woman elbowed her way
right up to the wagon and seized the
soap fakir by the coat-tais She pulled
him down from his seat to the side
walk. He was as pale as a ghost,
while the lit woman continued to be
as red as a rose. She drew cowhide
from under her wrap and began to
beat the fakir, clinging to him with
her right hand gripped on his coat-col-
lar.
'J-o-ohn," she gasped between
blows, you transferable, c-c-ontemp-
tible s-s-pecimen of man, YOU desert
ed me, didn't you! You left me to
starye in Los Angeles. (WhackD
y on told me YOU came from back cast
(ThumpD You swore you had lots Of
money (SwashD You didn't have
bean, and don't believe YOU ever will
have one. (BifD But l want YOU to
understand that I'm Il California
woman, | am, and never forget a man
who does me dirt | washed. and
cooked, and worked for you, and you
know it, You married me aud YOU
left me when you got tired of me. l
never want to see your face again, but
I've been waiting six months to give
you what you're getting right now.
There, you ugly deceitful wretch!
There meant a lash in the face which
made the soap-peddIer yelp with pain.
The crowd howled its approval of the
womau's action. The woman herself
disappeared among the throng on Mar
ket street The bruised and battered
soap-pedder blew out his remaining
torch, touched up his Anticipated steed.
and silently stole away.