St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-03-31
THEY MUSTN'T MARRY
One Of the Peculiarities OF
the Social Code Of the
Hub.
Young Men Of Talent Are All
Well Enough While
Single,
But the Moment They Marry
in Their own Sta
ton
Boston Society Immediately
Gives Them the Cold
Shoulder.

The receiving of young men who fol-
low any branch of art into fashionable
society is Of course not confined to Bos-
ton. but it is to be doubted if there is
any other city in the country where
the practice is carried to so great
an extreme and where it has con-
sequences so marked. The painter,
the musician, the writer, the sculptor,
and the player may be devoid of either
money or of family, but If he is in the
ordinary acceptance of the phrase at all
presentable he may almost go where he
likes. Ii he chances to be of attractive
exterior and of more than ordinary gifts
of pleasing he may quickly become
something Of society favOrlte II he
choose.
This is distinctly to the credit of So
ciety, in way, since it is manifestly
more to the credit of that tickle body to
take up men on account of their per-
sOnal attachments and gifts than for
their mere blood or money; and 1t is not
often that in this city the confidence i'm
piled in this acceptance of artists by the
leaders of fashionable Boston has been
misplaced. There is necessarily diff
ference in men, and there are swinish
ears out of which no society could make
silk purses; but artists, of whatever
branch OF the service of beauty, are apt
to be of refined possibilities at least,
and even more are they likely to be
men who are of quickness and
adaptability. There are half a
score of clever and most pleasing
Young men who to-day are always
counted in with the fashionable set,
who make no pretenSe of having over
much to show in the way of pedigree
beyond respectable ancestors, and who
are by no means overwell supplied with
the worlds goods. They go and come,
follow their art conScientiously, and in
their recreation belong to the great
world, or, to speak more exactly, to tn Q
inner circle of the great world.
The thing which they cannot do, how
ever, is, in general terms, to marry. AS
long as they are single men, with no
establishments to keep up, and no
women folk by whom their income is to
be measured, they do eXcellently we'll.
If they marry, their wealthy and fash-
ionable acquaintanceS have the real diff
ferences of station forced upon them.
A wife Is to be called on; she
is thing whose gowns afford a
more or less accurate index of the
husbands fortunes. 1t is, moreover.
only those who have long-established
and deeply-grounded social position who
are allowed to go without entertaining.
As long as man is single it is all right;
since, except in the case of pseudo Rus
sian counts and few men with sisters,
it is not the habit in Boston for the
bachelors to entertain ladies much.
When there is a wife, it, of course, be-
comes imperative that social favors
shall be returned in kind if the account
is to be a long one.
Everybody knows all this, but only
those familiar with the town can realize
how marked is the effect of the work.
ing of the principle here. L can scarcely
go into the subject with more particu-
larity without seeming to become per-
sonal, but it may not be amiSS to add
two OF three little incidental remarks
which show that the situation is per-
fectly we'll understood on both sides.
The word artist in these brief tales is
used in its general sense.
A brilliant young artist who had been
especially popular among the ladies Of
the -Four Hundred became engaged,
and one of his fashionable friends re-
marked, not in the least aware that
there was q possibility Of seeing in her
words trace of the SnObbish:
II am so glad that Mr.. Y. is engaged
to that nice little drawing teacher. l
have always been afraid that he'd lose
his head and think some OF us would be
willing to marry him."
Another young artist. who was also
popular here, decided to marry lady
belonging i'm the South, and when he
announced his engagement he also an
nounced his intention of leaving town.
TO his friends he gave the reason with
the utmost frankness.
"Fhe ladies' that | know here will not
take up my wife in the same way that
they have me. and while L don't in the
least blame them. it would make me so
Internally angry to see my wife treated
with less courtesy than had been that
| can't stand Ii, and L had rather go
somewhere else and begin over again."
He may seem to have cast pretty Sc
we're reflection upon the ladies whom he
knew, but after all it is to be feared
that his remark would have been true
of society ladies anywhere. 1t is no
more that they leave the wives of their
poorer friends out than the latter cannot
keep up the pace which is set for them.
Nothing conld have been more caddiSh
than the famous inquiry addressed by
one of the men of Boston who have
more money than ancestry or acute
perception to leading portrait
pointer: "Why don't you find some
body in your own station of life and get
married?' And yet the question COLI
tanned not only snobbishness, but good
deal of social common sense. ''lf l
were to marry" an artist is reported as
having said at leading club here, "the
combination of wife and poverty
would sink me so deep out of sight
among the bourgeoisie that should
never come to the surface again." l do
not discuss whether his idea of being on
the surface was a noble one, but such
as it was he was probably correct inihis