Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-08-10
COUCHES In CLOUDS.
Mayor Gourley is the Recipient Of q
Hot Weather Suggestion.
A WONDERFUL SCHEME ON PAPER.
Relief for Warm and Weary Citizens Wht
Can Pay the Price. -
A PECULIAR LEGAL QUESTION RAISED

Mayor Gourley has been the recipient Of
hot weather suggestion over which he is
now seriously pondering. Will other peo-
pie of lighter minds are seeking selfish re-
Taxation at watering places and other pleas
ure resorts, His Honor stays in his office to
guard the interests of the city and to devise
schemes for the relief of suffering humanity.
The latest idea has an appearance OF being
a money-maker but it will require quite an
extensive capital to putit into execution.
The man with the suggestion is willing 70
let few capitalists in on the ground hoor,
and feels that with the Endorsement OF the
Mayor of the metropolis of Western Penn
sylvania he will have no difficulty in secur-
ing financial backing. s.t
- The torrid spells from which this commu-
nifty has been suffering for the past two
months have proven that the average citizen
is willing to pay high price for a cool
place in which to sleep. The inventors 8
heart aches for the man OF undue corpulence,
who rolls and tosses and perspires all night
long, and arises in the morning feeling
limp and tired. Ir is not only the fat man
who suffers. The thin individual is an
noyed, to say the least, when he awakes
with start from dream in which he is the
central dish at supper Of deviled bones
given by party OF facetiously ugly demons.
THE MAIDEN's TEARS.
Then there is the untold agony Of the belle
who. the night before the picnic, puts mp
her bangs in crimpers and arises with the
dawn to find that her hair Is as straight as
the path of duty. This will cause any
rightly-constituted girl to weep. her nose
becomes red, and while she may be
spectacle for the gods, she does not add luster
to picnic party, and therefore stays at home.
Niobe was most beautiful when weeping,
but that is where she differed from the
modern girl. The inventor could stand
good deal, but he succumbed to . maiden's
tears. .'.'
The inventors scheme is to purchase
number of balloons, which are to be anchored
at various parts of the city. Suspended
from these inflated gas bags will be series
of hammocks hanging about ten feet apart.
The number of hammocks to each balloon
will be determined by its lifting power and
the weight of the occupants. The balloons
will be run on time schedule, and when
certain hour arrives up goes the balloon.
They will be hauled down in the morning.
but if any one of the guests is an early riser
he will find a parachute in his hammock,
BY which he can descend to earth without
annoying the other sleepers in his section.
OF course there may be few parachute IA
talities at first, but it is q recognized fact
that it does not hurt more to fall 1000 or
1900 feet than it does to be ground up under
a cable car.
ITS BEAUTIES PRESENTED.
The beauties of this scheme are obvious.
If it is raining the balloons are allowed to
ascend above the clouds, and perfect inn
munity from mosquitoes is guaranteed. Each
hammock is connected with the earth by tele-
phone and cocktails and ice water will be
furnished upon demand. Persons with
pulmonary troubles can be anchored in that
particular stratum of air best suited to these
complaints; hay fever victims will get rest,
and man who is everlastingly preaching
about ozone will be allowed to take his fill
OF exhilarating but subtle fluid all for one
price.
The originator of the idea figures that
people will willingly pay from So to
$40 night for such unique accommodations.
The expenses are not expected to be great
after the purchase of the balloons and the
erection of gas plant to initiate the bags.
There are only two matters troubling the
mind of the inventor. The first is where he
will get his capital, and the next is
what would be the result ii one OF the bal
looms was to get away with 10 or 12 of our
best citizens. He is not clear on the point
Of whether he would be sued for damages,
which would give men several years to
fight the matter in the courts, or whether ne
would be lynched.
PECULIAR LEGAL POINT.
He thinks he would make good defense
in court, as be would enter plea of lack of
jurisdiction. He holds that the United
States Courts have jurisdiction over events
occurring on navigable waters to the exclu-
sion of the county or State courts. If
balloon gets away it will merely confirm
what is already known, that the air is to
certain extent navigable, but there is no
court in the country which has jurisdiction
over that element. Hence he feels he is safe
from everything but violence.
The Mayor has not yet decided to invest
any money in the project The Mayor was
once the victim of schemer who proposed
to obtain control of the fence around the
Worlds Exposition at Philadelphia for ad-
vertising purposes. His Honor now fights
shy of the hypnoptic wiles of schemers.