The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-12-01
BRIGHT BITS,

JAVA must be moral place to live in; we
never see it advertised except as ''pure Java. -
Puck.
THE Central American republics may not be
very big guns, but every one Of them is a re-
volyer.-LotceH Courier.
WANDERING WLLY-Coludn't you please let
me have some cold whites, ma'am?
Mrs. Hussey-Cold victuals! Do you think
this is a decatesSen stores-Puck.
"CHILDREN, to-day we are going TO have fish
for dinner, and II you will try to be very good,
you shall pound me on my back if get a bone
in my throat. " Fliegende Bntter.
rs IT proper to call man man limbless
when he has lost only one limbv'
Certainly; he has one limb less than other
people, has he not:''-Btt6dlo Express.
INDIGNANT CrrfzEN-You should not drive
that beer wagon at such a rate through the
streets. &4 &
Wagon Driver Hat no fear. meester. Dot
beer wagon vas so sthrong dot nossngs could
hurd 1t. -Ltfc.
DICK-Why couldn't Harry go to the theater
with us tonight?
Tom-He couldn't possibly come; had to
write the criticisms of the plays for tomorrow S
Crimson, and have them in by S O'clock
HdTU0rd LdmDooH.
AT AN EXAMINATION in a Milwaukee school re-
Gently, one boy said, Hannibal was a man
eater" Hannibal sounds enough like cannibal
% mislead child Another described the exec
utlve mansion a "a place where they kill
FOLKS. "-ierdS SiftiRgs.
MAMMA, what is the use of keeping the whip
you use on me behind the motto, God bless
our home?'
Can you suggest better placer"
Yes, mamma; put it behind the motto, 4
need the every hour '"-Centrai West.
How DID you come to name your little
daughter Mildreds" asked the judge. mo one
| in your family bears that name
1T Is this way replied the major. We
were long time choosing name for her One
| day she was playing near a millrace, and fell
| in. Although we rescued her, she was badly
| frightened, aud can't be induced TO &c near the
| place since. Her dread of the mill has supplied
| her with her name. "-i'iftSburg Chronicle Teke-
| graph.
| \ FRENCH LANDED PROPRIETOR and a colonel
| OF dragons had deadly quarrel; blood olly
could wash cut the insults that had passed be
tween them. Both men were eccentric TO a de-
| gree, and they agreed that lots should be drawn
and that the loser should at once proceed &c
seme retired spot and shoot nimelf The next
morning the opponents and their seconds met
| at a small cafe outside the town Lots we're
| duly drawn, the landed proprietor proving the
| winner. The colonel took his bad fortune
| cal My; he wrote a few lines upon piece OF
paper, which he handed to his second. took ar
| afectionate farewell of all, and forgave his
| more fortlxate adversary, christian gentle
man ought TO do. He then, accepting the loaded
pistol, moved steadily into an adjoining room
aud closed the door. The others remained
| breathlessy awaiting the detona'ion which wa,
| 10 convey TO them the finale of the tragedy. Al
last 1t came; eagerly they ran to the door of the
| fatal chamber when it was thrown open, anC
| the supposed defunct stood on the threshold
| grasping the smoking weapon Heavens gen
| tlemen." exc aimed he. with a bland smile
lis it not unfortunateS have missed myself.
| Life.