The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1890-05-14
LAWYER ALIENS flasr vlcroay.


Opinion from tho Classics.
"Private John Allen" of Mississippi,
who became the wit of the house of
representatives with the death of Sunset
Cox. tells good story ON himself of how
he came to be profound lawyer.
A party of members were telling yarns
In the cloak room of the house, and when
Aliens turn came he told this one:
Il want to tell you of the greatest legal
victory of my life" said Allen, as he
lighted cigar and propped his feet
against the wall in true southern style.
ut was down in Tupelo during the trying
period just after the war. l was at that
time practicing lawyer-that is, prac-
ticed whenever had any cases to prac-
tice with. One day old Uncle Pompey,
one of the old negroes of the settlement,
came into my office and said
"'Mars John, wants you to c'lar me.
Use gwine to be rested for stealin' of two
hams out'en de cross road store
"sWen, Pompey, asked, did you
steal the hamsY
g Mars John, just took sem.'
Did any one see your asked.
'Yas, boss, said the old negro dis
consolateiy, two ole white buckra's.'
Well, Pompey,' replied, 4 can't dc
anything for you under the ciroum
stances
Now, Mars john, said old Pompey
heres ten dollars. / jist want you tc
try
well, ! consented to try" said Allen
"The case was to be heard before an old
magistrate named johnson. He was
totally uneducated, and was moreover Il
perfect dictator, and no negro ever came
before him who was not fined tho maxi
mum penalty and sent to his field to ex
plate the crime in the sweat of his brow
"The magistrate heard the case. Every
possible proof was brought to show that
Pompey stole the hams. There could be
no doubt of it from the testimony. Lido
not put single question to any of the
witnesses, but when the testimony was
oil in / arose, and in my most dignitied
manner addressed the magistrates:
May please your honor, Il would bt
useless for me to argue before one who
would adorn the superior IL not the su
preme court bench of this grand ole
commonwealth. And / may say tina
those who know you best say that 20,
would grace even the supreme court o
tho United States, tho highest tribuna
in the land. IL will be useless TO dwell
upon the testimony. You have heard 1t
and know the case rs well as do. How
ever, 1t may not be out OF order for M
to call your honors attention TO shor
passage in the old English law, wlliel
clearly decides this case, and which, TO
the moment, your honor may have for
gotten.
"Then fished down in my pocket an,
drew forth, with "a great flourish. an OLD
copy of Julius Caesar ] opened il will
great dignity to the first page and rea,
the line which is familiar 20 every school
boy, .omnia Gallia in parties tres divis,
est That decides the. case, said |
throwing the book upon the table. Tina
clearly acquits the defendant
with great dignity and solennity
then took my seat. The old magistrat
was completest nonplused. lie locke,
at me moment quizzically and scratehe,
his head. Then, turning to Pompey, h
raised himself to his full height an,
said:
'Pompey, i know you stole them hams
but by the ingenuity of your lawyer ~,
got TO let you go. Git out, said he, as h
planted his No. 0 In the seat of Pompey'
pants, and II you ever come here again
lawyer on no lawyer, you will sgit 81,
months. Atlanta Constitution.