Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1890-12-27
HOW TO CURE Il RED NOSE.
A Physician Makes sdduke Rkesfk. lAtost .
Remedy for rSSdy Hpos>onA. y

a fhysactan Makes Sdzhe Rhntfks A10ot {
Remedy for Teddy HlossonA. y
'What shall do for this nose, doctorg' aid
the patient with the innamed proboscis
anxiously. ''If it gets any redder my influence
as teacher in the Sunday school will be totally
gone"
The physician gazed upon the organ sub.
mitted to his diagnosis with q coldly scientific
eye
DO You stimulate?" he inquired.
Drink. you mean? Me?" cried the patient.
''Not drop of spirits ever crosses my lips. My
standing in the church"
Then it is as thought" rejoined the doc
tor calmly. "Yours lie a beer nose Therefore
l do not think 1 shall have much difficulty in
efecting cure. Permit me-"
Holding powerful magnifying glass at dis
lance OF about four inches from the organ un-
ination to what appeared when thus enlarged
TO be an unpleasant-looking swelling. with an
irregular surface and many small blotches.
Having completed a minute inspection. the
physician leaned back in his chair and said
dogmatically:
Your nose does pretty well for beer nose,
but 1t might be very much worse. The worst
ana most persistent red noses are produced by
drinking. Whisky, you suggest? BY no means.
Wine. especially Burgundy, is the nose-coloring
beverage par excellence. Next comes brandy,
the effect of which is usually rich purple tint,
in patches"
But you quite misunderstood" ventured
the patient at last. Il never take a drop of
anything-not even beer. A little of sarsapa-
riila occasionally. it is true"
doctor, shortly. II must say that yours coun-
terfelts beer nose astcnishingly well. II it is
not really such you are certainly unfortunate,
Tor beer nose yields readily 10 treatment.
which is very far from being the case with what
must be the complaint you suffer from. This
nature
do Won mean to say that am likely to
suffer from it indefinitely"
II cannot say. My expectation is that Judi
clous treatment surgical and otherwise. in your
case will accomplish much. Your trouble is a
hyper@mic condition of the hair solliclcs. II
is not so very uncommon, and. when it affects
cleTgymen and ether persons with whom purity
ana respectabiltv are. so to speak professional.
much embarrassment frequently ensues. The
notion that red noses result only from drinking
Is a popular delusion which has ruined more
good men than any other one cailse know of.
A victim OF complaint such as yours cannot
go around with a placard saving: i am not an
esoteric hummer, despite my appearance.
sometimes red noses much more aggravated
than yours are produced by a skin disease
known as acne rosetta and also by incipient
lupus a tubercular affection engendered by
the same germs that make consumption of the
lungs
Bat what can You do for me. doctor?"
NY method of treatment for all kinds of
red noses is with the knife.
OUCH
Either with the knife simply. that is to say,
or with the knife associated with galvano-
cautery. This condition from which Won are
suffering implies local degeneration of Tissue
and impaired circulation in the part. There
fore shall operate by thoroughly scarifyinS
the skin. and you will find that when il has
healed. ten or twelve DAYS hence the redness
will be much less. At the same time / shall
apply ID per cent solution of muriate of
cocaine. which has the effect of contracting the
superficial blood vessels II three or four
such operations at two-week intervals do not
produce cure l will try this instrument,
which. as You see, has a number of little
knives set parallel to one another. with a
needle behind each knife. The needles are
connected with battery of few cells and q
current passed through them serves 20 cauter-
lie the cuts a. quickly as they are made. This
latter process viii usually cure the most aggra-
waited red nose. At all events the processes
mention represent the further advance thus
far made by science in this line of surgical in
vestigation. 1t must be understood, however,
that 1t is not possible to cure any sort of a
toddy nose unless the patient abstains from in
toxicants. Why it Is that alcohol occasions
hyperamia and degeneration of tissue at the
extremity OF the nasal organ is more than any
one has thus far been able to learn
Half an hour later the patient was seen to
leave the physician Office with his nose done
up in a rag.