The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1890-05-28
THE INSIDE VIEW OF POL.
ITICS.

wumps and rcformers generally
remarked the Hon. Peletiah Doo-
little, as he sat in the best chair in
the committee room and gazed out
of the window Mt the statute of
Washington, exposing his Roman
nudity to an American spring breeze,
the trouble with the whole lot of
you is, you take things too serious-
ly. You havn't got on to the idea
OF modern American politics.
sim afraid we havn't," said the
independent business man from Bos-
ton, who had come on to protect the
shoe business against protection,
and 1 should particularly like to
know what the idea is"
"Well," said the Hon. Peletiah,
an tell you, my boy. It's sport.
Politics is a game, and a game that
lots of fellows had rather play than
anything else. It's game that
beats poker for fun, and it's profita.
BILE enough, to take it in the long
run, to justify a man in staying in
it,"
81 shouldn't wonder ifit ,cds prof
liable" assented the man from Bos-
ton, "the way some of you fellows
play it."
"Now, that's where you make a
mistake" interrupted Mr.. Doolittle,
laying his hand impressiveIy on the
other mans knee. "There isn't
more than enough to make few
men rich and keep the rest comfort
ably. 1 don't deny that there are
men who have gone in single mind
ed for the Doodle, and got it; but
they are few, mighty few, and the
public knows pretty we'll who they
are"
"The rest of 'em are saints, sup
pose" said the Boston man.
"No, sir. They're sports-sports
like me. Do you suppose I couldn't
make more money out of politics
than l can in? I've got brother
in the milling business out in Min
nesota. could take his eye teeth
out of him and he wouldn't know
it. But he's worth $1,000, 900, and
if 1 could clean up 100000 after
thirty years of politics I'd be happy.
But I'd rather follow politics, same
as some fellows follow the races
see? There is a lot of millionaires
in the Senate-rich pudding heads,
most of EN-. But they made their
cash outside, and they thought they |
were everlasting smart when they
bought up lot of hayseed legisla-
tors. Chumpsl If one of 'em was
running for the House now, / could |
send u man down in his deestrick |
with saw-edge collar and fringe
on his pants who'd beat him out of
sight. That's politician. But
show me the men who have made
their millions out of politics pure
and simple.
That's what you follows can't |
get into your heads. When you're
talking to us, you're talking to sports.
You ask us to do this and that for
the sake of patriotism. 1t we don't,
you say we're unpatriotic villains.
You don't seem to understand that
it amt question of patriotism; it's
a question of the game. Here You
are all in a sweat about hides.
What do you suppose we care about
your derned hides? It's the game.
You boot and shoe men didn't stand
up to us as you might have two
years ago. The hide dealers did,
That's all The best card wins. IfI
you're the best card, you get your
hides free. If Phil Armour's gang |
is the best card, You pay duty.
"Same way with all the rest of
your notions. You came here a |
year or SO ago bowling for interna-
tional copyright. You lectured us
on all the moralities of it; but you
didn't show us how international |
copyright came into the game. |
Then you kick about our extrava-
gance in the matter of pensions. |
All right. You go and get up an |
anti-pension league that'll poll as
many votes as the Grand Army of
the Republic, and We'll dicker with
you, same as we dicker with them. |
You have fit every year over the
river and harbor bill. All right. |
You go down to my deestrick and
see Dooley and MaGinnis and Multi
gan and the rest of the contractors.
and persuade them that they and
the 300 hundred men they employ |
don't want Squicknuck creek dredg-
ed out this year. Then come to me |
and tell me that the best interests
of the C.Ountrv dnnft rao,,;,o .t