Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1890-11-28
JEREMIAH'S CRIME.

q EIik9Il ~ VIII lfs sI
"Keturah," said jeremiah, 1.-THE next
time them boys knocks at our door I'm
goin' for EN-"
Jeremiah" said l, 81 couldn't blame
you if you did They is things, jeremiah"
says I, ''that would make a angel rise up
and strike out, and the conduck of them
medicated students is of that sort. Once
in way" says l, 1--WE might put up with
it. But it is constant. Do your wust."
You may think jeremiah and me severe,
but you don't know what we has had to
put up with. jeremiah, he was quiet
man. and was quiet woman. We had
lived in the same house thirty years, keep
ing our little farm while the village growed
up about Us. When the medicated college
was built they wanted to buy our land, but
we wouldn't sell. We had what we want
ed, and we hadn't no children, and we
didn't want to save up for nobody. We
was content, and kings can't be no more
So we said they must excuse us, but we
wouldn't sell. They was no doubt plenty
of folks that would. And our words came
truer than we calculated, for old Uncle
Pierce, he went and sold his ground adj
Timing on to ourn, and took and banked
the money, and went and boarded with
his son.
1t is well the future is not revelationed
to u.s. We didn't think nothin' of his
sellin' at first; didn't seem as eff it would
make no difrentZ whether there was pri-
vate house or medicated college next to
ourn, but as soon as it was built and moved
into then we knoWed.
When them young men that went to be
learned doctorin' into that medicated col
lege found time for to study they knowed
best. Most of their evenin's was spent
chasin' round the village, playin' tricks on
honest folks, stealin' signs and pastin' up
bills s'to let," putin dead cats down wells,
ringin' the church bells in the middle of
the nights, hollerin' 'fire'' and murder"
kissin' any gals they met alone in the road,
tyin' string to knock high hats off sabber
day. You never knowed what they was up
to. They ketched poor Deacon Gravy onct
and made him dance q jig in the middle OF
Hooker's woodses They got out their
scalpulars, he said, and got ready for to
scalp him eff he stopped, and SEEM he be-
lieved quadrilles sin, let alone jigs, it was
hard on him. More'n that, they stopped
old Miss Peechum goin' with basket of
eggs to the store, where she kinder used to
swap 'em off for things she wanted, and
sucked 'em all. To be sure they paid her
for 'em, but they si1eercd her more than
the moneys worth.
In pint of fact them medicated students
upset the place more'n a herd of buffalo
run wild could hev done, and when COM
mittee called on the folks that was head of
affairs to ask 'em to tend to the boys they
jest said that there was no putin an end
to these practicable jokes in none of the
colleges nowhere. 1t was something fear
full the way they carried on, and our house
being nearest by we caught it wuss than
others. When jeremiah made that there
observation with which this here marry
tive commences we had had knocks on
knocks at all our doors and all our windys
mornin', noon and night. We couldn't sot
still for 'en; we'd got to open the door.
We couldn't help that-might been
suthin' petickelar-and when we opened it
there warn't no one there | used to say
to jeremiah that if we had been spirituelle
we'd hev been Rochester knockers in no
time, but as we warn't we knowed it was
them medicated students and nobody else
And jeremiah had made up his mind for
to go for 'em, and he had cut himself a
real heavy, knobby stick, and there was
revenge into his eye, and the expression of
his mouth was skeerful.
He sot the cane ag'in' his cheer, while
we was eatin' our teas, SOS to be ready for
'em, but no knocks came; and when we
sot down arterward, him to read the paper
and me to knit his stockings, none didn't
come neither 'Twasn't until s o'clock
one did sound onto the keepin' room door,
and then jeremiah was goin' to bounce
out, but stopped him.
"No, jeremiah" says l, mot yet, not
until they've done it onct or twict. This
may be a neighbor, and eff so you'd repent
flynn at him as long as you lived"
So jeremiah he allowed hisself to be
guided by me, and | opened the door.
There weren't no one there.
"After this, jeremiah" says l, you kin
do your own way. They hev begun ag'in.
Go into the front parlor entry and stand
ag'in the wall. They won't expect you for
to open it quick, bein' we are sottin' here
at the back of the house. And, jeremiah"
says l, "bein' you air goin' to give it to 'em
at all, give it to 'em good" And never
since we was folks at all had we felt sech
evil feelings into our hearts We had
been riled up too onmerciful, and Satan
took his opportunity for to ensnare u.s.
l sot knitting and listening, and at last
uedfu liSc kuOCh COulC Ou UilC IFOuC llOOF,
and the door fly open, and jeremiah fly
out. The next minute they was awful
groans | dropped my knitting and ran
into the entry. jeremiah, he came trem-
bling half way up. He caught hold of my
hands; his was cold as ice.
whats the matter, Jeremiah?" says |,
catchin' hold of him.
"Fetch a lantern" says he; "I've hurt
some of them boys wuss than l meant to
hurt en-"
lit the lantern quick, and we went out
together. All was jest as still as could be,
but l saw suthin another lynn fiat on the
gravel path betwixt the flower beds.
held onto jeremiah and he held onto me,
and lifted up the lantern, and we stopped
over it. 1t was a man, and he was white
as chalk and quite onsensible.
you've done it now, jeremiah" says |.
eyes, Keturah, hev, says he; 81 hev"
Then hesays, soft and trembulous, Sonny,
kin you answer nle?" But they wasn't no
answer. II didn't mean fur to do it; only
fur to skeer you, sonny" says jeremiah.
''Taint no use" says |. ''Let's pick him
up and carry him in"
So we did it. We took him into the
keepin' room and we laid him Oil to the
settle, and brung the hartshorn for him
to snuff at, and famed him, and put
spoonful of blackberry wine to his lips
and bathad his head with camnhire; but