The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1890-04-08
THE ARIZONA KICKER.
No Possible Duplication of These
Items i'm the Effete East.

DIDN'T KNOW 1T WAS LOADED
Smith q DAVIS Minstrels were billet
for an entertainment at MOntezums
: Hall last Friday night, but it didn'
come of. In stead of that the Who'll,
gang >tep cd eff: They came here
with he avOved in'en'ion of doias
business without III aid Of the Kicker
Nom of them called at this office. and
they had no cOrrtesies 10 extend.
We dvi-' d e people 70 st,y away.
Ga Friday morning seven members OF
tne gang tn cred our office TO demand
: ii f'c ion. They didn't snow il
was lea led. 1t was. hOweve-. and
when il went off some Of the birds 10 {
got in ON eacn and every one of the
gang, and We bad to tap one of the
end meu with an axe.he've in addi-
Iion. We haven't any one in this
town who makes speciality of digging
lead out of the human system, and at
noon they started for Tombstone to
give man a weeks job Hic Jacket
which is MEXICAN for saying: The
Kicker 10 always loaded.
WE 1'oLD You So.-Six weeks
ago MAJ nims Scott opsned
grocery store on Comanche street,
and when we casually dropped in and
mentioned the fact that the Kicker
was the best advertising medium in
the West, he didD't enthuse. We
knew there was something wrong
about him and We sent his d scriptiOn
to the sixty-four sheriHs and CHIEFS of
po ice who are constantly in commun-
ication with us.
Last Thursday. just after we had
gone TO press, detective arrived from
Louisvi lie and collared Mr.. SOFT,
who is a de:aulting County treasurer.
He has left US, and We bought the
sock of groceries at about % cents
on the dollar. Had Mr.. Scott aiver.
tise1 he wOull doubtless have built
up large and profitable business,
but he took wrong view of it and
will probably go to State prison for
fifteen o. twenty years.
Poor OLD PALSY We never re-
fer TO our contemporary down the
street if we can avoid it, In the first
place, he hasn't got enough brains or
Office to deserve the title, aud in the
next he is a poor palsied old man who
is gradually dying Of envy aud ssarva-
ton. and We shall have to foot his
6if Rsgqge Saasp hs daQss sPBt1Iaas
graveyard and its five occupants.
This so excited the jealousy of tie old
relic of the seventeenth century that
he borrowed a revolver and took a
trip around town yesterday in search
of blood. He finally found one of
Col. McCracken's Digger Indilrs
asleep in the sun, and opened fire on
him from distance of four feet. He
didn't even wake The redskin mp, and
Judge Tallman, who objected ito so
much noise around his house, went
out and drove poor old palsy away
with broom.
We are sorry for him. They say
he cried while going back to his one
horse alleged newspaper, and no won
der. He should never have come
west. He came, as We ascertained,
to evade arrest for bigamy, but he
should have taken some other route.
When nature fits man to raise h j.
lyhocks in New Jersey, he has no
bu iness coming west to try to raise
that other product.
No EXTRA CHARGE.-In this issue
we publish the full particulars of two
executions, one Jail delivery, three
shooting ARRAYS, one highway rob-
berry, two fit fights, three dog fights,
one fouEd dead, a drowning accident,
the arrest of a road agent, the death
of two Mexicans in the late
blizzard and the stealing of
Judge Sprouts four.mule team.
The thing down the street which
calls i;se'fa news paper, and talks
about its lightning press and its wild
eyed corps OF editors from New York,
has, to match ali this, a cooked-up
account of fight between jacksss
rabbit and a government camel, with
IFS editor as sole spectator and report
er. Is it any wonder that the people
of Arizona can't wait for the Kicker
to be issued each week, and that. doz.
ems of them roost on our doorsteps all
night Wednesday night to get copies
the first thing Thursday morning !?
All this and no extra charge, and no