Idaho County free press. [volume] (Grangeville, Idaho Territory) 1886-current, 1890-04-18

k~HYZ kl with the mOstlaugn-
EG1VNi". hEs able scenes where one
E ~ would expect moth
<-sa@lin ing but churchlike
solemnity," said a well known minis
ter the other day.
81 have stood by the sick and the
dying and have seen incidents worthy
of description by a humorist's pen.
l have stood at the marriage altar
where the very air breathed solemnity,
and have with difficulty kept down
laughter over some ridiculous scene
or situation. A minister's life is full
of rich and happy changes, and 1 pity
the man who can pass through such
a life an exemplification of a walking
tombstone. Poor man, no never
learned the secret of lifel
l was fresh from theological
seminary, and had entered upon the
duties of my first charge at salary
of $500 year. Never shall forget
those days nor the novel way one
brother insisted upon paying his
part of the minister's salary. This
dear, good pillar of the church kept
a small country grocery, and one
day, while making my pastoral call,
l stepped into the establishment of
the brother to inquire after his
spiritual welfare. He motioned me
to where he was seated, and after
finishing his pipe ofthe vilest tobacco
ever smelled, began:
Il amt much good anyhow, par
son, and don't deserve very large
share of the kingdom, but durn me if
Idon't want to do the square thing
by you, so I'll contribute $40, to be
paid in peanuts
81 took the first installment and
retreated soon after, wondering all
the time what some of my young
ministerial brethren would say to
such pastoral call
Gone night shortly after this 1
made apastorai call at the home of
the young lady who afterwards be-
came my wife. While there an ignor-
ant, but good meaning, country fell
low came to the door and asked for the
minister, saying he understood that
parsonage was there. He was invited
in and | was called to meet him. At
ter blushing profusely and making
several Intellectual attempts to make
known his errand, he managed to say
in broken sentences, with tears, as it
We're, in his voice:
Il want to-I-come to see you
abo-that is, what will you charge 20
ma-marr-marry meP
when informed that there was no
regular charge, that any donation
would be gladly received, he opened
his heart to the extent of a cord of
wood and the bargain was closed,
but what l was to do with such q
barter was mystery to me.
ION another occasion at social
meeting | had become quite eloquent
in prayer, and Pm afraid lengthy. l
had prayed for the sick, the afflicted,
the absent ones, the heather at home
and abroad and had importuned
blessings upon everybody on the
earth, sea or in heaven, and reached
the now finally, Lord, when an I'M
thinking brother, whose heart was all
right, called out, 'Amenl amenl' SO
frequently and the situation seemed
so ridiculous that brought my Pc
tition to most speedy close, even
more speedy than l had intended,
after the finally
THAT was twenty-five years ago
in small New England village, and
I've served better churches since then.
At one ofmy city appointments had
an experience in wedding ceremony
that for an amusing situation sur
passes anything l have ever seen.
The groom wanted a ceremony with
no break whatever, one of the
smoothest of the smooth, SO
he borrowed my ritual to
pip up on the questions and answers,
but by mistake he got hold of the
baptism covenant and committed the
answers to it. The wedding day ar
rived, so did the nervous groom with
his bride, and they walked up the
church aisle keeping step to the grand
old strains of Mendelssohn' wedding
march. l had a premonition OF
trouble. The ceremony began.
John, will you have this woman
to be your welded wife, to live after
Gods holy ordinance, to love and
cherish in sickness or in health 2"
" Il renounce them ALL answered
John.
" You're fool, said to him I'M
der my breath.
:" All this ] steadfastly believe,
came the answer and ditto a sound
Unsurpassed laughter from the audi
ence. There was hurried converse
ton between John and me and then
repeated the question, likewise the
answer to it and to all succeeding
ones.
cat another wedding the contract
ing parties were "a young man, long
and lank, about twenty and five,
and fat buxom widow about forty.
The ceremony was performed at the
parsonage, and on the chair behind
the couple was seated a small dog,
all cur, as he proved, belonging to
the woman. As was about to Mace
my hand on theirs already joined,
preparatory to pronouncing them
man and wife, that dog with a terrific
bark made a spring at me, and | was
compelled, for the moment to retreat.
"That reminds me of n similar