Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1890-08-15
JOHN ALIENS FIRST LEGAL VICTORY.
A bad Case Made Good by Profound
Opinion from the Classics.

Private John Allen" of Mississippi.
who became the wit of the House OF
Representatives with the death of Sun.
set Cox, tells a good story on himself
of how he came to be profound law
yer.
A party of members were telling yarns
in the cloak Dom of the House yester-
day. and when Aliens turn came he
told this one:
Il want to tell you of the greatest
legal victory of my life" said Allen. as
he lighted cigar and propped his feet
against the wall in true Southern style.
1T was down in Tupelo. during the
trying period just after the war.
was ut that time practicing lawyer
that is, / practiced whenever had any
cases TO practice with. One day o!c
Uncle Pompey. one of the old negroes
of the settlement, came into my office
and said:
Mars John, l wants you to cl'ar
me. Use gwine to be rested for steal
in of two hams out'en dc cross-road
store
We'll, Pompey,' asked, did you
steal the hams?'
Mars John. / just took EN-
did anyone see YOU" asked.
"'Yas, Boss said the old negro,
disconsolately, two ole white buckra's.'
We'll, Pompcy. i replied, Il can't
TO anything for you under the circum.
stances.
NOW, Mars John saId old Pom
pey, here's ten dollars. iist want
you to try
well. consented to try said AL
len. The case was to be heard before
an old magistrate named johnson. lie
was totally uneducatcd. and was more
over perfect dictator, and no negro
ever came before him who was not lined
the maximum penalty and sent TO his
field to expiate the crime in the sweat
of his brow.
1.-The MAGISTRATE heard the case.
Every possible proof was brought TO
show that Pompcy stole the hams.
There could be no doubt of it from tho
testimony. did not put single ques-
ton TO any of the witnesses, but when
the testimony was all in arose. and in
my most dignitied manner addressed
the magistrates:
May it please your Honor. it would
be useless for me to argue the position
he holds, and before one who would
adorn the Superior if not the Supreme
Court bench of this grand old Common
wealth. And may say that those who
know you best say that you would
grace even the Supreme Court of the
United States the highest tribunal in
the land. 1t will be useless to dwell
| upon the testimony. You have heard
| "a Il L, ha 4
However, it may not bo ont of order
for me to call your uJnors attention
to short passage in the old English
law, which clearly decides this case. and
which, for the moment your Honor
may have forgotten
Then iished down into my pocket
and drew forth, with q great flourish,
Gn old copy of Julius Caesar Iopen-
ed it with great dignity ut the first page
and read the line which is familiar TO
every schoolboy, 'Omnia Gaiiid in
parties tres diUjSa est. That decides
the case, said !. THROWN. the book up
on the table. That clear acqu.ts the
defendant
with great dignity and solemni:y
then took M seat The cd magistrate
was completely nonplu.scd. He looked
at me moment QuizzicA.ly ani scratch
ed his head. Then. ;ulp:ng o Pompey.
he raised himself to his fun height aad
said:
'Pompcy, know you stole them
hams, but by tho ingenuity of your
lawyer I've got 10 lie: You go. Git out
said he. us hc planted his no 0 in the
seat of Pompey's pants. and i. you
ever come here again, lawyer or no
lawyer, you git six months. 'r-A.lanta
| Constitution.