The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-02-06
Jones Remained AWAY.
From the IEnShinnton Post

from the Washington Post.
His name is not JONES' but Jones will do. He
is citizen of the world with Headquarters in
New York. For fifty years he has lived upon
the bounty of other people, and lived well
nearly all the time. He is clever in many WAYS
and irrepressible at all times-can say bright
Things, write verses sing songs, tell stories and
invite himself to spend week or month at
your home on the Hudson or at Lord ANYBODY &
castle. He has been presented to nearly all the
potentates of the world and has soueezed him
self in at the tables of more noblemen than any
nobleman living. He simply invites himself and
goes and makes himself as much at home as any
body there. lie never was insulted in his life
he has been snubbed, and ordered out and
called all sorts of things, but nothing insults
him. He takes everything good -naturedly and
comes again. If he meets a society lady once
that to her dinners to bundle off with his
trunk to her house and stay a week without a
hint of any invitation. This seems like an over
drawn picture, but if we should name the man.
1,OOO,O00 persons in this world would say thew
knew it was feeble portrait of - Jones'
Jones was an acquaintance of the elder
Sothern, as be was and is of all the leading
actors, and when the son. Z. H. Sothern had
made his hit in The Highest Bidder" Jones
was soon upon the ground. He invited himself
to dinner with Mr. Sothern said clever things
and helped the young man to spend his money
When Mr.. Sothern had returned 70 New York
after successful season of travel he had NOT
as much money as it was generally supposed
he had. for he had had to nav soma debts Init
Lne demands OF MS position IN the profession
made it necessary that he take apartments,
in a fashionable quarter of the city so he and
another young man took one room in a swell
fiat and kept up appearances with small ex-
penditureS. That the real manner in which
they were living might not be known to indis-
Greet persons, they instructed the door-boy of
the building always to obtain callers card be-
fore saying whether they were in; and Mr.
Sothern especially instructed the boy not to
admit old Jones' The boy was faithful to his
charge, and though Jones called nearly every
day, Sothern was always out" One day a
New York newspaper said:
Young Sothern has fitted up a handsome
fiat in the Cumberland commensurate with the
ample income he is now enjoying from his star
ring venture"
This reassured Jones. He wanted to helm
spend that ample income" He called again
and again, but always in vain. Finally he
pasted the clipping from the newspaper upon a
sheet and wrote beneath it:
''Your stupid man, each time call. denies me
The boon of meeting you, in artful ways,
When would fain, as these few lines apprise
me,
Bask in the sunshine of your prosperous DAYS.
I'd gladly contribute my songs and jestings,
As oft did beside your fathers board,
And aid you to enjoy your new investings-
Yet still I'm thus incontinently foored."
Mr. Sothern, in a fit of despair, resolved that
the way to rid himself of this bore was to con-
fess the truth so he wrote in reply:
''How man of mine could give you that impress
When I've no servant, is not clear;
And with no festive board. without depression,
You would not care to sing and Jest. | fear.
The paragraph, dear sir, is purely fiction,
The ample income coinage of your brain
Pardon, dear sir, so fiat contradiction
The fiat, believe me, is a fiat in Spain"
This plan worked we'll. Jones did not call
again. He has little use for men who have not
ample incomes. But Mr.. Sothern is now max
ing more money. and probably when this sea-
son closes he will really have enough to attract
Jones back to him; and we can assure him that
the publication of this circumstance, while it
may enlighten JONES' will not deter him from
coming back.