The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1890-10-15
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

A certain class-Know-It-All
A good suggestion -" Lets go to
church. Mail and Erprcss.
Might not misfts be prevented if the
proper measures were taken!
A preferred creditor-One who nevoe
presents his bill.-Te1aS SVtings.
The ills of life are often easier to bear
than the stock market.-1eras Sftings.
"Im not tall" said the saving little
man, "but I'm never short. "-B0st0ls
Herald.
It is easier to live within your income
than to live without one. - Boston
Courier.
"Why does Mr.. Lank go SO often to
fishl" "He expects to gain flesh. -
Boston Courier.
Whoever is head of the ship state, the
farmer fairly represents the tiller.-
PHILADELPHIA Times.
To the mind of the anti-monopolist
there is no such thing as perfect trust.
Detroit Free Press.
"Now, just let me give you a point
er." "Thanks, no. I've NJ use loT
dog. ."-NeD York Herald
A very large percentage of people out
live their usefulness at an early age
Seattle (TNdShinqton) Journal.
Money is a neuter thing
A fact which nature balks
II should be classed as feminine,
Because, you know, it talks;
"She is not pretty. You said she was
as pretty as a picture" ooh, well, L
meant an amateur photograph. "-Ne'o
York. SuR.
elbow much does that fellow owe
YOU 2" GA cool thousand" "Ahl
Cool but not collected, ehl"-Bingaam-
ton Leader.
81 can't 90 to jail" said a funny va
grant. al have no time" "The Court
provides that" said the Judge. Il give
you ten days"
Proof that man is really near-sight-
ed: When he finds it necessary to look
at an elephant through magnifying
glass. Fliegende Blaetter.
Mrs. Brown-"I wonder who wrote
up this account of the Presidents car
riage?" Mrs. Malaprop-"Some hack
writer, of course. ."-Hayper's Basar.
Waiter (very gravelO-'I hope, sir,
you'll remember the waiter" Customer
(coolly)-"I have locket. Give me a
lock of your hair. -L'htraasigeant
Pupil-"Why does the avoirdupois
,,r,,,,lpc Q'l prof Rod
der-"Because, my boy, it's used 10
weigh coal and ice. ."-HaIper's Basar.
Let us then be up and doing,
With heart for any fate;
Still achieving, still pursuing,
Catching fish or cutting bait.
Washington Star.
"Jane, will you go for sail to-day"
Mr.. Toodles asked his wife at the sea-
side. "Why, certainly Timothy.
| What is it, an auction or a sheriff ST.
Philadelphia Times.
Gazzam -"I see that the German
! Government thinks of making North-Al-
sace-Lorraiue an Independent duchy."
| Maddox-'Of course if it were Duchy
it wouldn't be so Frenchy. "-HWPer's
Bazaar.
Now let the women do our work,
Aud let us cook the hash,
For now they wear our laundried shirt,
Aud we've wear their sash.
Ashland ,lYiS.l Press.
Mr.. Fogg, having had the misfortune
to fall into the fountain basin of the
hotel at watering. place, finds on his
next weeks bill the following entry'
"To one cold bath, S1.'-FAogeadO
Blaetter.
"a half ticket for this boy, please.V
"How half-ticketl Isn't he twelve
years oldf" "Oh, no, only eleven"
"Oh, then you want a whole ticket, for
only children under ten so for half. -
Fliegeade Biaetter.
He attained the proud title of Mr..
And she pledged TO be more than 81,
SO they stood at the altar,
And ner did he falter
When he bento DER and solemuly kr
-BuBalo trpress
"Here's first-class marking ink Z"
/ Writes on a piece of linen; "lndelible
/ Ink.O "And here, ladies and gentle
men, I've got a splendid preparation for
washing out stains" proceeds forth
with to wash out the above words).-
FLiegeads Bldetttr.
''Yes, " said the camper on Lake Wash
iugton, 'we use these ferns for fuel TO
great extent; they burn almost like tinder.
1t is my opinion that everything in this
country is full of pitch. % "lncludiug
the hills, p" replied the strauger.-Ssattle
, (WdshiHgtoH) J0ngHai.
"IIave you boarded long at this
house2" inquired the new boarder of the
detected man sitting next to him.
"About ten years. II don't see how
YOU can stand it, Why haven't you left
long agol" "No other pIacs TO so, %
said the other dismaly. The Gndlady'
-. -..f, % lJf-..., lf.fLflH.