davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-11-26
Workings of Prohibition.

a week or two ago well.known
dealer in live stock of this city went
to Washington county to make a
deal with big stock raiser, who is
also prominent as strict prohibition
list. The cattle having been inspect
ed and the price agreed upon the
Washington county man retired to
the house to make out a receipt, and
so on, leaving the Pittsburger in his
sons hands. AS soon as the old man
had disappeared indoors his son, a
bright lad nearing his majority, said
to the Pittsburger:
This is rather dry work talking
all day, amt it ?"
The Pittsburger vehemently assent
ed.
"Well," continued the young man,
"I've bottle out in the haymow, and
we might as we'll get taste of the
stuff while dads not BY"
The Pittsburger said yes again, and
the two repaired to the haymow and
looked upon the contents of the black
bottle. Then the young Washington.
ian hid the bottle in the haymow, say
ing as he did so: "Don't tell the old
man anything about this-he's awfu
down on drinking
OF course the Pittsburger vowed
silence as he smacked his lips and left
the young man in the barn. Two
minutes later he was in the house pay
ing over the money to the old stock
raiser. After the business in hand
had been dispatched and the bargain
had been closed the Pittsburger was
about to take his leave, when the old
man said, rather awkardly: "Say,
are you feelin' dry? I've a jug down
in the cellar, and the liquors fine."
1t is hardly necessary to say they
were soon in the cellar. As the old
prohibitionist drained his glass he
said to his guest: "Don't say moth
ing bout this to them boys O. mine
they don't know about the jug ~
Pittsburg Dispatch.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-11-26

1t was the most remarkable scene
! ever witnessed. 1t occurred during
my early manhood, when was attorn-
ey general of Missouri. Robert Stew.
art was in his private Office, when he
pardoned steamboat man for some
crime. What it was have forgotten
b ut that does not matter.
The man had been brought from
the penitentiary to the governors Of
fee. He was large, powerful man,
with the rough manners of his class.
The governor looked at the steam.
boat man and seemed strangely affect
ed. He scrutinized him long and
closely. Finally he signed the docu-
ment that restored him to liberty, but
but before he handed it to him, said /:
"You will commit some other crime
and be in the penitentiary again, l
fear"
The man solemnly promised that
he would not. The governor looked
doubtful, mused a few moments, and
said :
you will 20 back on the river and
be mate again, | suppose p.
The man replied that he would.
"Well, / want you to promise me
one thing" resumed the governor. II
want you to pledge your word that
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-11-26
He's q Masher.

In spite of the fact that the young
German emperor has a shrivelled arm,
necessitating the use of an eating in
strument, which is in reality a COM
bined knife and fork, or fork sharpen
ed at enc edge for cutting purposes,
he is, among his inmates, a jolly, good
fellow, fond of all the pleasures of life,
and much given to practical joking,
and nonsense in general. His left arm
the shrivelled one, is not only consider
ably shorter than the other, but is al
most absolutely without strength.
The only use he can put it to is to re-
move his cigar or cigarette. However,
the right arm is endowed with extra
ordinary strength and vigor, and this
youthful monarch is not averse to put
ting it to very noble use at times, to
wit, encirculiDg taper waist. Dur
ing the trip to Norway this summer
he took great pleasure in ranging
about incog., and one day an officer
of the imperial yacht had the misfor.
tune to come face to face with the
young emperor when the latter had a
very pretty girl by his side. What
was to be donei 1t was too late to
turn back. To halt, face front and
salute would put the youthful mon-
arch in bad fix. Under these cir
cumstances, the officer turned his back
and pretended to be gazing into shop
window. Suddenly he felt a sharp
pinch on his arm and heard voice
whispering: "You did that very
nicely. Try to find as pretty girl
as have. You have leave of absence
until tomorrow morning."-New
York Sun.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-11-26
The Revelations Unexpectedly Made
by a Graphophone.

Private Secretary Pearson of Gov.
Beavers office, Harrisburg, Pa, bad
curious and somewhat startling ex-
perience with the graphophone. He
began to turn the crank and supposed
that he was about to cause the mach
inc to give out to the young lady type
writer message which the Governor
had talked into it the evening before.
The young lady was all attention, and
the private secretary began solemnly
to turn the crank, which works with
treadle. To his horror and the in
tense embarrassment of the young
lady the following amorous jumble
was given out with decided emphasis !:
"Now. don't George. There; some
body will come. Of course I love
you. There somebody really is COM
ing, and you have mussed my hair all
up. Please, love, I'm 80 afraid that
some one will come in, and besides |
can't work this crank if you insist up
on kissing me all the time"
The periods represent sounds too
familiar to be mistaken. They were
the smacking of lips and other sounds
which accompany the interchange of
caresses between lovers.
1t was some little while before the
matter could be satisfactorily explain
ed, either by the young lady or by
Mr.. Pearson, who at first were dispos-
ed to imagine that somebody had
been playing practical joke upon
them. The matter was finally
Strengthened out, however, when the
executive clerk soon came around,
and, upon hearing of the incident,
laughed heartily. He had the eve
ming before been showing bride and
groom about the executive depart
ment, and, being called away a few
minutes, had left them in the private
secretary's room to amuse themselves
with the graphophone while he attend
ed to the business which had called
him away.-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-11-26

when you are mate again you will
never take a billet of wood in your
hand and drive sick boy out Of
bunk to help you load your boat on a
stormy night" The steamboat man
said that he would not, and he inquir.
ed what the governor meant by ask.
ng him such a question.
The governor replied: Because
some day that boy may become a
governor, and you may want him to
pardon you for crime. One dark.
stormy night many years ago you
stopped your boat on the Mississippi
to take on load of wood. There was
a boy aboard who was working his
passage from New Orleans to St.
Louis, but he was very sick of fever
and was lying in a bunk. You had
plenty of men to do the work, but you
went to that boy with stick of wood
in your hand and drove him with
blows and curses out into the wretched
night, and kept him toiling like a
slave until the load was completed.
I was that boy. Here is your pardon.
Never again be guilty Of such brutal.
ty."
And the nan, covering and hiding
his face, went out. AS meyer heard
of him again suppose he took care
not to break the law.-Proctor Knott.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-11-26

Sweetly Feminine.--Emma-"Does
my dress hang all right, dear? Luc-
ile-"It certainly deserves to. The
style is positively criminal. New
York Herald.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-11-26

81 have had pretty struggle with
that uppah lip" said Gus de Jay COM
placently, as he sat down in the bar
ber's chair. "Yes," replied the bar
ber, "but you have it downed, haven't
you f"-Washington Post.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-11-26

When men are as good as their OH
ituaries and women are as good as
men think they are, the recording
angel in Heaven can take his long
needed vacation. ."=Atchison Globe.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-11-26

The process of evolution from a
bonnet to a statesman is simple and
sure-the bonnets become the women
and the women are leading men.-El-
mira Gazette.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-11-26

1t is wicked to steal, but when the
girl is demure and pretty, and the
moonlight is soft and romantic, and
you can almost see the kiss upon her
lips. it sometimes seems a good deal
more wicked not to.-Somerville
journal.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-11-26

Indignant maiden-"What did you
mean, sir, by trying to kiss ?" Com
mercial youth (who was going to pop
-"Business. 1t is customary to
sample goods before bidding on them.
Life.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-11-26

Anxious mother-"Dear, how shall
we find out all about Mr.. Shadiman ?
He isvery attentive to our daughter"
Wise father-"Pll tell you how. I'll
get him into politics and have him
nominated for an important Office. If
that dosen't show up everything he
has done and lot more. than nothing
will.--Pittsburg Bulletin.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-11-26

A boy of II and girl of 19 were
married the other day at Columbus,
Mo. The wedding presents included
doll and wooden gun.-Utica Her
aid.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-11-26

Jason-"I never employ the driver
of hanson to get me to the train on
time" Janson-"Why not?' Jason
They're always behind. Chicago
Post.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-11-26

Ethel-"Don't you like those sofas
that have just room enough for two p
Maud-"Yes, but l like those that
have hardly room enough for two far
better. Munsey's weekly.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-11-26

AT the husking bee, if you get red
ear, you may steal kiss; f; while on the
contrary, under other conditions, il
you steal kiss you may get a red
ear
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-11-26

My papa is having the family jewel
ry cleaned" said one little neighbor
girl through the knot.hole in the
fence. "Is he ?" responded the other
little girl. "Yes /; ma says he has it
in soak now."-Washington Post.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-11-26

A mans idea of married happiness
is having a wife who will devote all
her energies to secure his comfort. A
woman's idea of married happiness is
having a husband who will love her
alone and tell her of it once in awhile.
-Somerville journal.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-11-26

A story at hand, describing love
scene between the hero and heroine,
says: "He wooed her with will"
That's good way, especially if the
wooer is old and the will is in her
favor.-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-11-26

Several candidates are now using
brands of patent medicine which pro-
vide a cure for "that tired feeling
St. Joseph News.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-11-26

You sometimes see people too old
to read, and too old to write, but did
anyone ever see a man too old to
count money ?-Atchison Globe.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-11-26

Fair Visitor-"Why do they call
the sailors tars, lieutenant? Lieuten-
ant-"Because they pitch into the
my."-The Jester.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-11-26

81 hear your husband is quite a
gallant. Do you ever find any letters
in his pockets ?" "Only the ones l
gave him to post. Spare Moments.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-11-26

81 shouldn't care to marry woman
who knows more than ! do" he re-
marked.
"Oh, Mr.. De Sappy," she replied,
with coquettish shake of the fan, II
am afraid you are confirmed bachel-
or !"-.Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-11-26

At 20 a man thinks he knows it all /;
at 30 he merely thinks he could have
fhe had tried.-Indianapolis journal.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-11-26

A woman may not be able to find
her pocket, but she never has it filled
with letters she has forgotten to mail.
-Elmira Gazette.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-11-26
WIT AND HUMOR.

The butchers receipt for getting
rid Of superfuous flesh is to sell it,
Pittsburg Chronicle Telegraph.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-11-26

Lovers are so light-hearted they
can read each others thoughts with
the gas turned very low.-Chicago
Evening Post.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-11-26

as Deborah related to Charley
Henderson ?" "Yes. She is his sister
by refusal of marriage. New York
Sun.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-11-26

Reason Enough.-"Why don't you
marry one ofthem Don't they know
en- ough ?"
"Yes, they know too much. Life.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-11-26
MICHIGAN CENTRAL
~" The Niagara Falls Route"
Time Card in Effect.

Daily. Daily except sunday. Parlor car on
day tIains and sleeping cars night trains
J. WHITING, Ticket Agent
o.w. RUGGLES. @. p. & T. Agt.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-11-26

If you were to take the conceit out
of some people, the remains would
defy Identification. st. Joseph News.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-11-26

Somehow or other the man who
snores loudest always seems to 60 to
sleep first in the Pullman car.-El-
mira Gazette.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-11-26
Detroit, Bay CITY & Alpena R.R.

Mail and Accom- Mail and Accom-
Express. mediation. Express. mediation.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-11-26
0. L. PARTRIDGE.
Real Estate Agent

Rooms 4, 5, Dawson Block.
Win take charge Of estates for residents and non.
residents. collect rents pay taxes, place insurance
obtain abstracts Of title, etc.
Office hours-10 to 12A. NJ, 4 to 6P.M.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1890-12-18
New YOrls's InI, Industry.

New York is entitled to consideration
as the leading city of the Union in the
manufacture of ink. Fifteen years ago
English ink controlled the market. Since
then the American article has been
gradually pushing the British product
out of the market by its superiority and
excellence. There is great difference
between the wholesale and retail price
of the fluid. A little bottle of ink con-
tanning two ounces, for which a person
pays five cents, costs at the factory one
cent. The bottles are really more valu-
able than the ink they contain.
The best black ink is made from the
gall nut and iron. The gall mt is found
in Arabia, and is about the size of
hickory nut and grows on small, scrub
by oak. A large majority of the col
ored inks are made from the extracts Of
coal tar. The most expensive colored
ink used for ruling is carlnine, made
from the cochineal bug. The cocl,ineal
bug is raised with much care in Mexico.
The dye from this bug is worth S15 u
pound. Since cochineal dye is becom-
ing scarce ink makers are compelled to
use an inferior red color from coal tar.
The ten different colored inks are all
made from the extract of coal tar. White
ink is made for writing ON black paper,
but the demand for it is not very great.
New York Telegram.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1890-12-18

When the Great Spirit created the
world lie first made three men, all of the
same color. Then he led them to pool
Of water and bade them jump in and
bathe. One of them, obeying ut once,
leaped in in advance of his fellows, and
came out clean and white.
The other hesitated, but one soon fol-
lowed the first. When he went in the
water had become somewhat stained
and he came out copper colored.
Then the third man went in By that
time the water of the pool had become
black, and he was consequently black
when he had bathed.
Thus it happens that there are white
men, red men and black men in the
world.
Then the Great Spirit laid down three
packages before the three men, which
contained their future fate. Out of pity
for the black man he permitted hi.l to
have his first choice of the pa.cei5.
The black man, without hesitation,
took the largest of the parcels; the red
man, whose turn was next, took the
next largest parcel, and the white man
got the remaining one, which was very
small.
Then the men opened their packages.
That of the black man was found to
contain shovels and other implements Of
labor; the red mans contained bows and
arrows, and the white mans small par
eel consisted of pens, ink and tools for
fine, light work.
From that time on each man made
use Of the tools he had chosen.-Cor.
Youths Companion.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1890-12-18
COOPER ALTON.

The Scheme B"ing Tried in a Chicago
suburb and Said to Promise Success.
The first seven days of the cooper
ative housekeeping scheme, inaugurated
in the fashionable suburb Of Evanston,
Chicago, are said to have proven the plan a
success. Over five thousand orders have
been served from the central kitchen
to the stockholders. There has been
no fault found with the food or
its lessened cost. Considerable friction
and temporary panic, however, were
caused during the first three days by
slow delivery, but this is declared to
have been remedied. No action has vet
been taken by the fifty displaced do.
mestics, further than to employ law
yer to look after their interests. Just
what lawyer can do in the matter has
not been made public.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1890-12-18

Another addition to the list of recently
invented life saving devices is the shoul-
der line throwing gun, invented by Capt.
DArcy-Irving, of the English royal navy.
The invention consists of shoulder gun,
having the cop or coil of line, suspended
in Il case, carried under the breech of the
gun. A rod is inserted in the barrel, the
fore end of the rod being connected with
the end of the line, which is in the center
of the cop. The line is 144 yards long,
and the charge of powder used is two
drams. Upon the gun being fred at
high elevation the rod is projected up
ward and forward, carrying the line trail
ing after it. The object is, of course, to
land the line over the ship or other object,
the rod dropping behind it. By this
means a rope can be made fast to the tail
end of the line by the succorin@ party, and
be hauled on board by those in distress.
New York Commercial Advertiser.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1890-12-18
The Pulpit and the Stage.

Rev. F. M. Shrout, Pastor United
Brethren Church, Blue Mound, Kan,
says II feel it my duty to tell what
wonders DIR. Kings New Discovery has
done for me. NY lungs were badly dis
eased, and my parishioners thought
could live only few weeks. I took five
bottles of DIR. Kings New Discovery and
am sound and well, gaining twenty.six
pounds in weight"
Arthur Love, Manager Loves Funny
Folks Combination, writes: cater a
thorough trial and convincing evidence,
am confident DR.. Kings New Discovery
for Consumption, beats 'em all, and cures
wher everything else fails. The greatest
kindness I can do my many thousand
friends is to urge them to try it," Free
trial hotties at Seybert & Go IS drug store.
Regular sizes 80 cents and 81.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1890-12-18
AZ'IECS OF MEXICO,
Afflicted With the Celebrated Mes.
siah Craze.
An Added Feature Ia That of Human Sac.
riGce,

Louis Del Commun, Of Chuiulu, Pueb.
10, Mex, was in Kansas City, Sunday,
en- route to Chicago. In an interview he
said the Aztec Indians, of Mexico, are
athicted with Messiah craze very sim.
liar to that which is disturbing the In
dians in the Dakotas. All the Aztec
tribes scattered throughout Mexico are,
said Louis Del Commun, believers in tho
prophecy that Messiah is soon to
appear to free them from their foreign
conquerors and restore to them their
domain and their pristine glory. At Cho-
lulu are the ruins of an old Aztec tenn
pie. This is the Mecca Of the believers
in the Messiah, and there are now en-
camped about it hundreds of Aztecs who
are engaged in performing all sorts Of
mysterious religious rites. OF these
rites human sacrifice was part, ac-
companied with flower dance. The
sacrifice has been done away and now
only the dance remains The Aztec
prophecy is very like that which is be-
lieved in by the Siouxs. The Messiah
will cause the volcano Popocatepetl to
erupt and overflow the country with
lava, which will destroy all but the
Azlecs
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1890-12-18
A Story of Schiller.

A curious incident is handed down
from the boyish life of Schiller. One
day, in tremendous thunderstorm, the
family gathered together in i'll disguised
terror. But Fritz was missing, and the
father, alarmed for his safety, sought
him in vain IN all the rooms of the house.
He went outdoors to search for the
truant, and to his surprise found him
perched on branch of solitary tree,
eagerly watching the heavens and the
flashes which lighted up the gloom. He
was wholly indifferent to the rain, which
had wet him to the skin, and to the dan
ger he incurred. To the sharp reproof
of the father the boy replied with a
glowing face:
"The lightning is SO beautiful wished
to see where it came from. Boston
Herald,
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1890-12-18
Why Boys Are Fond of Nature.

have often read in stories of boys who
were fond of nature, and loved her SUBJ
Unity and beauty, but I do not believe
boys are ever naturally fond of nature.
They want to make use of the woods aud
fields and rivers; and when they become
men they find these aspects Of nature
endeared to them by association, and SO
they think they were dear for their own
sakes, but the taste for nature is as purely
acquired as the taste for poetry OF the
taste for tomatoes. I have often seen
boys wondering at the rainbow, but it
was wonder, not admiration, that moved
them; and have seen them excited by q
storm, but because the storm was tre-
mendous, not because it was beautiful.
w. D. Howells.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1890-12-18
Epoch.

The transition from long, lingering and
painful sickness to robust health marks
an epoch in the life of the individual.
Such remarkable event is treasured In
the memory and the agency whereby
the good health has been attained is
gratefully blessed. Hence it is that SO
much is heard in praise of Electric Bit
ters. So many feel they owe their res
toration to health, to the use OF the
Great Alternative and Tonic. If you are
troubled with any disease OF the kidneys,
liver or stomach, of long or short stand
ing.you will surely find relief by use OF
Electric Bitters. Sold at so cents and 81
per bottle at Seybert & Co.'s drug store
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1890-12-18

Over go people were forced to leave
their homes yesterday to call for free
trial package OF Lanes Family Medicine.
Ii your blood is bad, your liver and kid
news out of order, if you are constipated
and have headache and an unsightly
complexion, don't fail to call on any
druggist to-day for a. free sample OF this
grand remedy. The ladies praise it.
Everyone likes it. Large-size package
20 cents,
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1890-12-18
100 Ladies' Wanted,

And 100 men to call on any druggist for
a free trial package of Lanes Family
Medicine, the great root and herb rene.
dy, discovered by DR.. Silas Lane while
in the Rocky Mountains. For diseases
OF the blood, liver and kidneys it is
positive cure. For constipation and
clearing up the complexion it does wor
ders. Children like it. Everyone praises
it. Large.size package, 30 cents. AT all
druggists.