Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1890-11-22
MR.. BOWSER'S GYMNASIUM.
HIS Vito Tells OF Numerous Mishaps
Trying to Beat tho Doctor.

From the Detroit Free Presa
Largo bundles, tied with ropes, came mp to
the house the other evening, and had not
time to pry into the contents when Mr.. Bowser
came In. waited until after supper and then
/ asked:
| Have you got q new hobby, Mr.. Bowser?"
| Did you ever know me to have . hobby,
new or old?"
! "You are regarded as man of hobbies"
| Il am. eh? Then it is by few idiotsi No
man In the country is more clear of hobbies
am often told that am too practical"
Well, what is in the bundle?"
doctors prescription--health, muscle,
longevity. In other words, don't propose to
pay any more doctors bills"
why, you have wonderfully good health,
And propose to keep it haven't been
| small outfit"
Il think it is foolish and useless. You are
strong and healthy and you can make no change
There you go! Always opposing everything
| load of gold"
We'll, don't blame me. az usual"
"Blame you! As usual!' Who ever blamed
you! should be sorry to suspect you Of being
| Mrs. Bowser."
No more was said, and he got out the tools
ana lugged his bundle upstairs and began fit
ting up gymnasium. In about an hour he
called me up. He had two weights at the end
| OF two cords running over a pulley and az he
| worked one and then the other he said:
| This exercise strengthens the arms, shout
ders and chest. feel like a new man already.
See those clubs?"
| Yes"
"well those are Indian clubs. They are more
particularly for the arms. They are worked
| thus-and thus-and--"
He was swinging them over his head. and
| one fell upon his bald pate and he sank down
as limp as bag. l tore off his collar,
and got water and by and by he sat up and
| asked:
What was doing?"
Exercising with the clubs. knew you'd
| do it."
And when my back was turned you hit me
| on the top of the head with a hammerf'
| ish?"
lie maintained an attitude of severity toward
| me for about an hour, and then slipped back
upstairs TO practice with the dumb bells.
| snpped up after him, pretending to hunt for
an old coat and pretty soon l asked him what
| particular benefit he expected to derive from
! the use of the bells.
develop the arms and chest Of course" he
replied
But you weigh 200 pounds now"
mats nothing to do with being strong. It's
| muscle Pm after"
| what for?"
For fifty reasons. Suppose should be at
tackled by loafer?"
| Suppose I grab burglar here in the
| house,"
YES"
Suppose footpad should try to hold me
| What would you do?"
| do! Do? Watch me!'
lie began making vigorous motions with q
| ten-pound bell, and catastrophe followed
| ne hit the wall with it, let go his hold, and it
| fell upon his foot. Then he yelled. And
whooped. And howled. And hobbled about,
and said he'd get even with me if it took q
| thousand years.
And YOU are blaming me- Mr.. Bowser?" I
asked: as found a chance to get in word.
"Of course you're to blame!''
'What did / do?'
mo matter. expected 1t from the first. but
| it's long road which has no turn, Mrs. Bow
| ser! You just waiJ.'
got him down stairs and rubbed his foot
with arnica, and after two or three days it was
all right again. think he enjoyed being asked
| why he lmped, and 1 think he told all in
quirers that he had just put mp a tifty-pound
bell when the roof of the house gave way and a
portion OF the chimney fell upon his foot. 1
| heard him hammerng away upstairs again.
and went up to ask him what he was doing.
| arranging the bar" he replied
| "What for?'
| ITO exercise on"
| "Why, Alr. Bowser, you are not going into
| practice again, are you?"
| Certainty am not to be dismsyed by two
or three slight accidents"
Il wish you would let it alone. You are
clumsy and awkward, and you will hurt your
self severely before you know it"
| "Are you talking to me?'
| "Of course"
| "Clumsy and awkward, eh? That's all
right! Just what l might expect from you!
That's reason, however, why should persist
| in this"
We'll, If You get hurt again don't blame me. 4"
| "Humph! Get out of the way"
What are You going to do?"
Practice on the bar. Look out for my
legs"
| think he tried to catch one OF his feet on
the bar or to let go and swing with one hand
At any rate he suddenly descended to the floor
with an awful crash, jarring the center piece
| loose in tho next room below and bringing up
| the cook to inquire:
lis he dead this time, ma'am? II so, let me
congratulate you"
| He wasn't Dead but he had bruised his hips
and shoulders and famed his back. It took
| me a full hour to get him to bed and he had
tor Then he suddenly observed:
II suppose you have already destroyed the
| evidences of your guilt"
| what do you mean?'
| 1.-The ropes suspending the bar. Some one
cut one of them while 1 was performing!"
"And you lay it to me?"
| II have nothing to say-not lust now. II
| alive tomorrow we will end this state of affairs
| in as satisfactory way as possible. In order
to shield you as long as possible shall tell the
doctor that fell down stairs"