The morning call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1878-1895, 1890-05-04

| ~ SS~6TA non TO the minor
| //zI> Iva There Is more
Tseae Y 6ehance OF max
| ing mist tax e S
here and in giving serious offense than anywhere
| else. When II comes to matters of Importance,
the fact of their Importance secures thought and
| care, and if mistakes are made il comes from de-
| hberate stupidity and wrongheadedness The
| mistakes which made about triies however,
| come largely from thoughtessness, aud very
frequently do not admit Of satisfactory explaua-
ton.
1t is no unusual thing for example, to find a
man or woman sending a note to acquaint-
| ance or friend aud addressing the envelope Mr..
| John Smith, instead of John Smith, Esq.
ltwould be difficult to tell, perhaps why 1t Is
| so, but Mr. John Smith is felt to be mean and
| derogatory way OF subscribing the envelope and
| it Is fashion never used by careful people.
unless the envelope Is addressed 10 a ira desinan
or man In distinctly inferior walk OF ie IL is
| the formula which must be used. II Is not even
| permissible 10 use MIR. Smith when the first
| uame OF the gentleman for whom the letter is in
tended is unknown. The proper formula 10 such
case rs this Is, - Smith, Esq. / need scarce
| ly say, however, that the man who is driven to
| this disagreeable necessity Will inform himself
| as to his correspondents first name at the first
| favorable opportunity, because The most good
natured person VIII take 1t as slight II the peo
! pie whom he knows do not remember his full
J feelings OF others which we bound TO have
demands enough attention to this point 10 secure
| accurate knowledge.
! SENSITIVE CORRESPONDENCE.
! The laundering writer Of a lester Is very apt to
| offend sensitive correspondent when lie comes
To write the note Itself. This Is particularly the
| case il The correspondent who receives tie
letter fancies that the writer Of 1t thinks himself
| superior. Ii is no UNUSUAL thing for writer's 10
address correspondents as Dear Madam or Dear
Sir even when their feelings are OF the kindliest.
This Is not allowable under any circumstances
| If you have any acquaintance with M. Smith at
| all you are bound 10 address him as My Dear
| Mr.. Smith, or simply Dear Mr.. Smith. II you
| are really intimate with him, Dear Smith or My
| Dear Smith IS permissible. or course, IN the
| intimacy OF long friendship OF kiuship, more
| aifectioHate manners of address appropriate.
| As between Dear Mr.. Smith and My Dear Mr..
| Smith, some authorities hold that Dear Mr..
Smith is less formal and more intimate than the
| longer and more elaborate phraslng OF the ad-
| dress. But this Is matter OF no great import
| ance, and may be determined by each one for
| himself or herself
The only case where the beginning OF note
| with Sir or Dear Sir is not indicative of feeling
! OF superiority the part OF the writer, and his
| desire 10 keep the correspondent at a social dis
| lance, Is where the note is hostile IN Its char
| acter.
| need scarcely say, resumed Mr.. MeAllister
| that when person is writing 10 somebody whom
| he does not know at all ana has not known, the
only way 10 get around the difficulty, continually
| presented in such cases, Is 10 put the letter in
The third person aud present the compliments OF
| the writer 10 the correspondent aud tnclose
| personal card. This also is a favOrite mode for
men and women 10 address people with 1Shom
| they have business relations aud social rea
| tlon5 whatever. OF course this formula will not
do for duelng formula.
Having disposed Of the addressing OF an en-
yelope, which, by The way, Is Il very good thing
TO do first and to do before you have written the
note and having said what was necessary con-
cselhng the proper way Of beginning your note,
the next matter after The contents, which, OF
course, must be determined in each case by the
writer himself or herself is the subscription OF
the note. Yours Truly is the most formal and
perlunctOry way OF introducing the signature.
Yours Sincerely Is coming into use In England TO
a certain extent. aud Of course will be taken up
here. Faithfully yours Is also a formula which
Is securing some English Endorsement, and that
IN the long run means an American Endorsement.
The old form of Your Obedient Servant, ETC.,
has gone out altogether. Yours Respectfully Is
only used when addressing man In an official
position OIL matter OF first Importance.
| USE OF R, S. V. W.
1t is worth while to say something regarding
the use OF X. 5. V. L. These initials are sun used
to some extent by the engravers OF invitation
cards. but IN nearly every instance where such
invitations are used they are either unnecessary
or impertuent. If d man or woman sends out
Invitations for a dinner and appends Il. S. V. p.
Ills professionally an lntimatiOn that The per-
son receiving the invitation has not sense enough
10 answer it. An invitation to dinner, alter ALL
Is nothing more nor less than personal note,
and personal note demands an immediate re-
spOnse and nobody WHO has any knowledge OF
good form would fan 10 make that answer just as
prompt as circumstances permitted. III tue in
vitation Is for larger entertainment than a diu-
ner-lor reception for an example-the hostess
if '' she O' invites anybody to cali Ii'"u on
| her, 1t is taken for granted that they
will call; The call may not be made in fact, but
1t is made in effect. r. 5. V. 7. is now almost
obsolete. and when 1t is finally relegated TO OBJ
livion tremble 10 think OF what viii become OF
those ingenious gentlemen who have been filing
out The Initials at their own sweet pleasure for
The funny columns during The long succession of
years since it was first introduced.
man Of my acquaintance once said to me-
SAID Mr.. Ward McAlliSteT. thougbtfuy, that a
gentleman can anord 10 walk, but he cannot af.
| ford to drive IN shabby Carriage. The axiom
had much wider and deeper significance Than
appears on the surface. What he meant to say
was that gentleman can do almost anything il
he does 1t as well as anybody else. In other
words, gentleman must not attempt TO do any,
| thing and fail. But just as soon as a man ap-
| wears in u shabby equipage. and the coachm an
has battered hat lie demonstrates that he is
| Intellectually reaching out for something which
| he cannot grasp and II immediately puts the man
| In a ridiculous position.
What is true OF the equipage is of course true
| OF the clothes which man or woman wears.
Clothes do not make the man and in conse-
| queDce gentleman afford to wear shabby
clothes If he Can afford no other. but II he does
so he refuses al once TO bring his shabby clothes
In comparison with the handsome costumes OF
| other people. lie knows what he is without
reference To his clothes at all, and his good
| sense teaches him that he cannot afford TO clal-
| lenge comparison with a man who does not com.
pare with him In point OF manhood, but who out
shines him so lar as his coat and vest are con-
| cerned.
THE ATTITUDE.
| "What is the attitude" 1 asked "of the lash
| iOnable man toward men whom be considers his
| social equals and men whom lie considers his
social inieriOrs?"
Well responded Mr.. McAlllster with a smile
| very accomplished leader OF the german iD town
who Is deemed by many people to be one OF our
most fashionable men Is credited with the state
meut that he would cut his own grandmother nm
the street II she were stability dressed This
| was of course an exaggerated way OF saving
that no man OF fashion can be seen bowling to
people on the street whose appearance proclaims
| them as belonging outside the fashionable world
The rule that fashionable man shall not la
seen III public places except with men and women
as fashionable as he Is Is rule to which he 40
cords the strctest allegiance. IL a man or
woman accosts him on the street and he 10
| slightly acquainted with them he will sion and
hear what tney have TO say IL they are shahhilv
dressed, or their inferior social position Is indi-
Gated ID any way whatever, he will not under
any circumstances permit them TO walk along
the street with him, even 10 the extent OF half
| dozen steps
II the man thus stopped answers the questions
addressed 10 him and thinks the conversation ia
has accosed him starts 10 walk with MIN he viii
Immediately stop again; or. II he finds IL neces
saiy. VIII hail passing stage or car or 90 into n
c convenient shop. He Will not permit himself for
| moment 10 be seen walking along the straet
With anybody whose appearance would eyeifa
criticism among his friends. The Idea Of accom-
papying such people to public restauta ants or r.
fheaiers, or indicating In any such uDiuisfak abIe
way that he holds social relations With Them 10
out OF lie question altogether. H.. S. HEWITT
Neio York. Apgft s9th. Copyright 1880.
If Your Liver Reminds You