St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-06-28
The MINISTER|NG ANGEL.
he Had Horrible Headache and
His Wife Was Wor.
ried.
Dispensing Pain by Bringing Into
Active Life Greater
Agony.
A Dialogue That Husbands Will Enjoy,
While Wives All Sheer in
Sc0rn.

Manley Fl. Pike in Puck.
Time, 8 a. m. Mr.. and Mrs. Fldget,
rising from breakfast.
Mr.. Fidget (dully)-I don't think I'll
go down to the Office this morning,
Nervia. Eve SLIGHT headache.
Mrs. Fidget (excited)-O Roscoe, have
you? Does it hurt, Roscoe? l noticed
you didn't seem well; and now you look
CHASTITY. Which side is it on-or is it
both sides? Oh, know your going to
be i'll!
Mr.. Fidget-It's nothing but little
Observation-Disclosures everything it Island
if lie down I'll be all right by noon.
Just let me
Mrs. Fidget clasping her hands)-Oh,
yes, yes; you must lie down at once.
Here on the sofa; and I'll pull down all
the curtains, and we'll have the doctor
at once; and, while we're waiting, Jane
shall make you some Cruel, and you
must take medicine Immediately. Jane!
Jane!
Mr.. Fidget f1inglng himself on the
sofa)-Botheration!
Mrs. Fidget almost in tears)-RoSeoe,
you're feeling wOrse-yOu are, you are!
Jane! Jane! Run for the doctor, for
goodness gracious sake! No; first bring
me the arnica bottle, some ammonia,
and-no; don't do that first-heat two
or three towels and brick-no, no; be-
fore that make mustard plaster, and
bring i'll a tub of boiling hot water!
Mr.. Fidget (groaning)-Heavens, l
shall go crazy!
Mrs. Fldget crushing to him)-You
poor dear, you're suffering awfully,
aren't you? Let me cover you up with
this afghan. You're going to have a
chill, know you are!
Mr.. Fidget Clicking off the afghan
and sitting up)-Nervia, will you leave
me alone, please! If l can only be
quiet an hour or two
Mrs. Fidget (oblivious)-Oh, dear. oh
headache that brings on some disease
which begins with ''p," OF else some
disease which begins with .'d'' that
brings on headache-o of the two
and know he's got it, which ever it is!
Mr.. Fldget Sinking back OH sofa)-
Great guns! / shall have brain fever,
anyhow, il this keeps on!
Mrs. Fidget (paroXysmally)-Oh. Ros-
coe, didn't your aunt say, when she
called here three months ago last Tues
day afternoon, that your great-uncle
Amos died of creeping paralysis, COM
plicated with-there. l recollect now!
It's paralysis which begins with "p;"
but what is the other disease which be-
gins with ''d?' Dyspepsia, dyspn-a-
screaming oh, Jane, Jane, why don't
you make that Cruel and heat the three
towels aud the brick?
Mr.. Fidget-Merciful powers! CSton-
ilyl Nervia, if you've remnant of sense
left, listen to me one instant. Eve
nothing but slight headache. want
to take nap. l want to be left alone.
And [ want to be let alone!
Mrs. Fidget (anxiously)-Are your
feet cold, Roscoe?
Mr.. Fidget (gruff1y)-No!
Mrs. Fidget Qefectively should
be, if it's paralysis. But perhaps this
is the other thing which begins with
I'd Warm feet are probably symp-
ton of that, Roscoe! -
Mr.. Fidget (pretty surlily)-Wuh?
Mrs. Fidget lin deep thought)-My
cousin Alfred didn't have paralysis
which is what reminds me of it---but.
something that made him shout MUIR
der!' and kick the footboard off the bed
when the doctor tried to examine his
tongue-he got we'll again. you know,
and borrowed $55 of you last Week-and
they cured him with electrlty-well, I
was wondering whether we mightn't
use the telephone somehow on you. or
that burglar-alarm you had put on the
drawing room windOwS-but we might
all be blown up together if we tried it,
and So
Mr.. Fidget (sotto voice)-Inever knew
her quite up to this before.
Mrs. Fidget taking new tack)-Ros-
coe, how's your pulse? Let me feel it.
One, two. three, fOur-oh, dear, I've lost
count, and don't know whether the last
one was seven or eight-and oh, Roscoe.
do you remember whether the normal
pulse is 10 a minute or III? Somebody
L used to know had one, and another
person had the other-which is right l
can't say-only they both died, that Pm
certain of. Oh, gracious me, what shall
l do?
Mr.. Fidget (striving for calmness)-
Don't do anything-go off-leave me in
peace-in heavens name, stop fussing!
Mrs. Fidget lin fresh fit)-RoscOe,
are you getting delirious? Your heads
growing hotter and hotter! Your face
is as red as beat! Why doesn't Jane
go for doctor? Pve done everything
can think of; indeed l have! And
she hasn't even made the cruel yet
what can that girl be doing? And if he
is going out of his mind, he ought to
have somebody to RESTRAIN him, truly he
ought! Oh, where's that mustard plas-
ter? Roscoe, can you think of any men
who'd be willing to come and hold you
in bed? We might send to the police
station, or to the commissioners of lun-
acy-
MIR. Fidget bouncing up with jerk
Pm we'll! Confound it, I've got to be
we'll! Do you hear, Nervia? Head
aches all gone-hown-vanished-dis-
appeared! Bring my boots, Jane! Pm
well, tell you, Nervia!
Mrs. Fidget Gin joyful agitatlon)-Are
you, really, Roscoe? Are you sure? Oh,
Pm so glad that Eve nursed you so sue
cessfuliy! But perhaps you'd better
take the cruel and arnica, all the same.
and have some hot water poured on
your spine
Mr.. Fidget lin hurry)-I can catch
my train if run. Yes, you're an ex-
cellent nurse, Nervy-a splendid one!
Boots, Jane!
Jane (entering)-Here they be, sor.
Olive been putin a taste o. blackin'
onto 'em all this while. for Oi knew
ye'd want 'em ixtramely soon-wid the
misthreSs a-noarsin' Of we. sor
Mrs. Fidget (proudly) = Indeed he
would! For | brought you through
safely, didn't |, Roscoe?