South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1890-10-24
WIT AND HUMoR.

Pc NJ
Mamms> said little WilIIe< inspect.
Ing q porous plaster are these holes
where the pain comes through.
l hope you don't object 10 my
smoking.
Not in the least. That is-if you
don't object to my being sick.
Schoo. teacher (severely)-You're
half al hour late this morning
Little boy (wbo was kept 10 the
day before)-Yesm. IL was late
yesterday when got homs.'
A Texas gentleman discovered b 8
servant helping himself to the form.
er's cigars. Sam l am surprised
So 10 l. boss. I'lowsd you bad done
gone out inter de country.
No darling, said mother 10 sick
child the doctor says l mustn's read
TO you.
Then me.her> begged the little
ONE won't you please read to your.
SELF ont loud?'
Grandma - would like to know
IL that slip set out four weeks ago
has rooted.
Little Bessie mo grandma it
hasn't got root. I've pulled it up
every day and looked.
/ called to see your father this af-
ternoon, remarked Charlie as he took
n seat in The parlor. Hester flushed
visibly. Recovering herself With an
effort she said simply, Did you?
Yes replied Charlie. He has been
owing our firm little bill for some
time
Robbie, does your ear ache2
No, mamma.
Thenwhy have you put cotton in
Well, mama, you know you keep
on telling me that 1 learn SO little,
because what goes in at one ear goes
out at the other. So I've plugged
the other up.
A paper recently offered prize
for the best suggestion how to raise
boy TO make a good and useful
man Of him. The following, won
Nurse in the arms Of prayer, lead
with patience, guide with tact, teach
with care, holding him above temp
tation with the strongest strength
n mothers love-
Little Annie, four years Of sge,
threa' ened me with 'protracted cry.
ing-spe'l.' Several times she seemed
inciiLed to stop in response to my
reprmaI ds. only to resume business
with new vigor.' At last she made
q great effort, dried her tears, looked
q. me slyly. and approached Ge with
a determined Mamma, l guess
won't finish my naughtines.
We have decided that the baby
looks like Uncle Joseph said the
happy mamma. Why Joseph Har.
lis is ss ugly as mud fence Yes
but he's worth So 600 000'
He was practical and had been ma.
king love on that basis. She was a
little that way herself. Can you
cookS be inquired-Can you supply
everything to be cooked3' she re.
piled. 1t was match
A little four y ear.old girl, a resi-.
dent OF Minnesota's capital city, is
not noted for her beauty, though pos.
sessed OF q very sweet disposition and
remarkably bright mind. She was
recently presented to minister who
chanced 10 be visiting at her home.
He took her little face between his
Two hands and looked down at Der In
a most scrutinizing manner. She
evidently anticipated that her face
would not bear the close inspec' ion,
as, turning her eyes in the direction
OF bis face, she lisped out: L ainth
petty, Mithter Brown, but Tth mighty
mart
"A thin demonstrating man step
ped up to the pastor as the latter
came down from The pulpit: you
have good deal to say this morning.
he observed, about Teller that killed
a man named Abel Certainly, re.
piled the pastor. ''The Sin OF Cain
was the subject of my DISCOURSE u
wish't you'd do me the favor next
Sunday said the thin man in Lome
excitement, 'to tell the folks that the
mau you was talking about this NOR
ming amt no relation to the Kane
that keeps livery stable down by
the grist mill. 1 don't want none
of mg friends to think that I had
hand In that KILN. That's all.
Good-by.'