The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1890-03-19
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Cinderella was slippery maiden.
The musician is not easily played out
The best cigar meets its match when il
is lit.
Door fastenings have knobby decora'
tions.
"The whirled is mine," said the cy.
Clone Washington Post.
The burglar opens the door for the sake
of a little lock -upation. n.-Kerehdnt ira
reIer.
The Speaker of the House is the man
who listens to the talk of others -Ne"
York Ne,os.
When man wants to find fault he will
do SO, even if he has to be up all night
looking for it.
The goat eats tomato cans, and such'
To the amusement OF man;
But what can tickle mans palate so much
As an oyster can?
"Tommy, you may 60 and cut me
good, strong birch rod" ''Pa, l don't
think it's good day to go fishing. -
Time.
This truth should everywhere be known
One swallow can't a summer bring;
But vet it can be clearly shown
That just one frog can make spring,
Chicago Herald.
To be convinced that it is possible to
be very sharp and very fiat at the same
time, it is only necessary to look at
well kept carving knife.-Ddnsc'ae
Breeze.
! It takes a man of iron nerve to sing
uHome, Sweet Home" for lullaby when
the baby wakes up squealing at 2 A. NJ,
and positively will not go to sleep
SomeruiUe Journal.
Visitor-"You look utterly worn out,
Miss Sophie. suppose you have been
bored with callers all morning. Miss
Sophie QanguidlD-"Oh, no; you're the
very first. ."-.St. Paul Eye.
"You can't procure content with
money!" says the philosopher; but the
fact that the converse is equally true, i
not more so, rather hurts the force of the
proposition. -Merchant Tr0reler.
Cantwaite-"How about that five dol
lars YOU owe meln Van Gall-"Oh,
hang that five dollars! I'm sick anC
tired of hearing about it. Say, can
you make it ten?"- Washington Stcr,
Teacher-"When boys disobey the
rules of the school and refuse to learr
their lessons, they grow up Ignorant anc
lazy. What kind of men do they makef
Pupil-'I know. Jurymen. "-DdnsoiH
Breeze.
Boarder-"M Madam, we want hot meal
or well move" Laudlady-"H Hot meals
Why haven't you got pepper, and cat
sup, and horseadisA, and raw onions,
and mustard What more do you folk
expect?n-T Time.
An exchange tells of man wh'
"choked to death while eating his sup
per at night He would probably hav'
escaped this sad fate if he had eaten hi
supper in the morning, right after break
fast.-Neto York Ners.
eyes" said the oldest inhabitant
'this is pretty mild winter, but l re
member season that was much warme
than this" GLOW long ago was thatf
uueried his listeners. "Only last sum
mer. ."-NorrjStoCn Herald.
A Glasgow boy came home from schoo
yery much excited, and told his fathe
! that he believed all human beings wer
descended from apes, which made tn
old man so wild that he replied angrily
, "That may be the case with you, but nc
: with me; l can tell you that. ."-Lond0
> Tit Bits.
Wickwire-"There are heap
things a man thinks he knows until b
has an occasion to air his learning, an
then he finds out that he is not so smal
after all" Yabsley-"What got yo
into that state of mind?" Wickwire-
"My ten-year- old nephew has been at m
. house for a week "-Ierre Haute ErpreS
A Paris masher, in hard luck, entere
a third class restaurant; a waiter, TO
merly employed at the Cafe Anglai
recognized him and whispered in tor
of surprise: "Can Monsieur think
! dining at a low hash house like this
"Wel," said the discounted dud
s'You're here, amt youl" VERY true,
the waiter said, with an air of prid'
.u,,t I nayar dina hare -