davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-05-18

at the residence of the brides parents,
Rev. Edward Compromise officiating. Miss
Wilhelmina Schney and Robert Edward
Curling. Esq, all Of this city. No cards.
A full account of the ceremony will be pub
lished on the 10TH instant.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-05-18
Executive cinmanrx.

The Governor has pardoned james Clai-
borne. who was convicted Of housebreak-
Ing In Prince Edward county in March,
1857, and sentenced 10 four years Ia the
psnitentjary. Governor Mckinney, who
- the tins Of Claiborne's conviction was
Commonwealth attorney of Prince Ed
1asd. sctsd a. prosecutor at the trial, and
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-05-18

Just received new lot of time pieces
for business use, which can be had at very
moderate prices. Now is the time TO ex-
change your old worn out ey-winders and
get gu elegent modern timepiece.
A. /. JAANKE, Matchmaker,
120l Main straet
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-05-18
Catholic Societies.

There will be meeting of members OF all
the Catholic societies of the city held IN the
rooms of the McGill Catholic Union IN the
Cathedral hall this evening az o'clock TO
consider matters OF importance.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-05-18

LRvY DAVIS have made elaborate prepara-
lions TO supply any and all demands for Deco
rating Materials, such IA Confederate. Virginia,
and United States Flags and Shields md Bunt-
ing Of all kinds.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-05-18
In I as the Mary Powell"

Some of our citizens do not know that
we have a steamer (the Colchester" " run
ming between Richmond, Norfolk, and Old
Point that is as fast as the famous Hudson
river steamer /" Mary Powell" but it is so,
and she will only remain here until June
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-05-18

At the Fair ut Corcoran Hall tho hand
some parlor organ VIII be voted of Mon
day night. Tuesday night the elegant
Singer sewing During the week
a fine lady's watch will also be voted of.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-05-18
va.hburn Guitars and Mandoiins

are simply perfect. You have only TO see
our immense stock 70 convince yourseH.
'N' WIrEn ID. MosEs q Co..
Musical Headquarters,
1oo5 Main street, opposite post-ofiice.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-05-18

IA of course familiar with the case. The
rround upon which the pardon was grant.
ed was important information, which LED
10 the arrest Of other parties charged with
the same offence, and tho GOOD behavior OK
Claiborns while IN prieon.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-05-18
Pianos for summer Resorts.

We invite correspondence relative to
renting or purchasing Pianos for the sum-
mer. Our rental terms are easy and liberal
VI. Is. RAMOS Il Co..
9O3 Main street. Richmond. Va
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-05-18

LEE COUNCIL PAIR.
This lair, which proved SO pleasant an,
agreeable during the past week, is to b,
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-05-18

Twenty-Five thousand dollars worth of
Slippers and Shoes slaughtered at the
grand opening of Boston Shoe-Manufac-
turing Company, 413 east Broad street.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-05-18
rrus,c-Ro,e. &c. To 5000.

Largest variety ever carried by any
house south of New York. Over 200 diff
ferent styles 10 select from.
WALTER d. MOSES & Co.,
1905 Main street. opposite post-ofice.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-05-18
The Ffnest Fauio

is made by Henry G. Dobson with his pat;
ent silver bell. All professionals, use and
endorse them in the most enthusiastic
terms. WALTTB d. Mosys d Co.,
Sole Agents, 1908 Main street.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-05-18

for Men and Boys-all styles and shapes {;
also, Solid Black and Blue. Price. 5Oc. to
81. CONSTABLE BnOTHERs,
419 east Broad street
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-05-18

Iremove Gloss. Clean, Dye, and Repair
Gentlemen's Clothing.
Satisfaction guaranteed.
Mrs. A. J. PYLE,
315 north Fifth street
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-05-18
po.too, so.i,factlon Guaranteed

TO all purchasers of the Brown Cotton
Gins. Feeders, and Condensers. Write the
manufacturers at New London, Conn, for
prices and testimonials.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-05-18

Meade Bakers sap0fhne Dentlirice.
This is the best Tooh-Powder IN USE II Is
guaranteed 10 be free from all acids or hurtful
Ingredients IL speedily removes the tartar from
the teeth and heals and hsrdens the gurnA sold
by druggists generally.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-05-18

Get your Decorations for Monument Day at
LEVY q DAvIss.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-05-18

Young Ladies' journal, The Season,
LArt de la Mode, and all the leading fash
ion books and magazines at n. Leonard's.
sO3 east Main street.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-05-18

Money invested in the stock of the West
Salem Land Company has paid over four
for one during the past three months.
Stock subscriptions received by Henry l..
Stanles AZ Co
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-05-18
sheet-sfuslc iOc. . Copy.

Go with Excelsior Club to Providence
Forge May 26th.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-05-18

Ben. r. Shikell, clerk, Orkney Springs,
Va, is at the Exchange TO make arrange
ments for rooms this coming summer.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-05-18

Mattings Carpets, oil-cloths, Window-shades,
and Lace Curtains at removal prices this week
at MITTELD0RPERs',
bg1 Broad etroeL
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-05-18

White Goods, Drspery Nets, and Flouncings
exceptionally low this week at
MITTELD0RFE2s
Great Removal Sale,
527 Broad street
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-05-18

II you want TO see a good time 90 10
Providence Forge May 2sth.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-05-18

For man, woman. or child there ia no
more efficient builder up than A. b. Z.
tonic.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-05-18

See Wheelbarrow Race at Providence
Forge Whit-Nonday, May Goth.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-05-18

miller & Rhoads's great Relief Sale which
begins tomorrow morning will surely be
the trade event of the season. Read the
particulars on the last page Of this paper"
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-05-18

Nothing is more trying to the eyes than the
filckering which is almost insepsrabls from tho
use Of gas, hence. students, professional men,
and AL who requirs soft, mellow, steady light,
invariably use PRATI's ASTRAL OIL
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-05-18

:, Send for complete. catalogue of ten
thousand pieces, sent free to any address.
SANDERS d STAYMAY. 1877 east Main.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-05-18
Married,

Attend the monstrous Shoe ard Slipper
opening at 4l3 Broad street, Saturday, May
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-05-18

A prize TO the ugliest man at Providence
Forge May 26th.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-05-18

Where 10 the preparation that equals A.
p. 2. Alternative for impure bleodi Il osn't
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-05-18

Cotton, Wool, and SIX Dress Goods have been
greatly reduced al
MITTELDoRFERs' Removal Sale,
527 Broad street.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-05-18
Hou.-yade Bread and Rolls

BRIGGss Homemade Bread and Rolls are
having big run. Try them. freth morning
and afternoon.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-05-18

Decorating Materials OF all kinds at LEVY q
DAvIs's.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-05-18

Flags. Shields, and Bunting OF all kinds at
LEVY & DAvIs's for decorating.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-05-18

Old Folks At Home (var.), 100
1t Sanders d Stayman's. 1917 east Main.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-05-18
Save YOnr Ereslrhf.

LEoSLRD's best Embroidery SIX, al eolors,
hc "A doZen
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-05-18
Lee Medal Badge

with blue mounting can bo had of Mr. NJ.
Roller, at American Hotel.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-05-18

Chase Brothers Pianos
at Sanders & Stayman's, 1917 east Main.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-05-18

In Old Madrid Csong), loo
at Sanders 4 stayman's. 1917 east Main.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-05-18

will attract thousands Of Ladies to our
great store this week. And well may
every visitor be prepared for grand
sight, for the vastness and variety of
"THE BOSTON'S" stock will exceed
all expectations. There are, by actual
CONT, over $50 different styles to choose
from.
This gigantic assortment virtually in
cludes everything desirable in Straw
Hats for Boys and Children. White,
Mixed, Fancy, and Navy Shansi, Jap,
Canton, Milan, Split, and Mackinaw
Braids, in all different shapes, and with
plain and fancy Hat Bands.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-05-18
BIue and th. GRAY lsonrl. noe.

Be sure to get copy Of this song. at
Sanders Il Stayman's,
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-05-18

j. q. vareia.
Fine Cigars, all Havana,
Cuba handmade.
IL north Ninth street.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-05-18

AATTISGs.-Tns hig box psf ems i-
usss, ishc- seamless As.-li-s
yard-t0c. grade o, hat .ns' -
yards " Mating Ia = rol inr $50
sc. Damssk seamless Ma ING o. ~
1000 yards besf-Audro.cgsg.n -La-ls '''-
sla.ss AMI sfsys-0Se = yafa .
200 en-Geni'smea's--lei) ied 49,
Tsck SCARF 81. aoiece.
zoos yard. mors q ths beautiful
Cioth In solid co.ors-plnt
While-Tsd-liisc-sray- slAl-loA -
yard ..- p..
TIA yart.Wiis Indigo Blus-and tlfAei
Fieursi freach Percaie-sae ~
sac. q yard. -,
q plscss al colors Mull-s5a grade a. '.''
Navy Blas aud White Check All 30 !. -
White Cheek shepherds F'Aii W."
G0o12 t...
10 pieces more--of tho grari SIX
black aud al eolors 81 grad a. ,.
issa all patterns In mo IS. woe' VAA-''
lg3c. yard -. A =,
Special bargains la White cprcslN Al.
sise spread at SOFA 81 epfesl -.
spreads a. ti-slss-Slos-Aaa ue''
sr y COIN In THIRD, NOTE LOCATION
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-05-18
BAR
GAINS IN
EVERY
NOOK


FANs-FANS-Rverythin In Fans from the
common Palm OF the Fropics-to the Ostrieh
Feather-of Atrics-From tbs Novelties OF
Yanksesnd 20 the--hign art Of Japan. III
incn Folding Fans-ic.-2Jc. Fans now loc.-
&c Fans I5c.
RIBBONs-klBBoSS.--T value In Ribbon has
fallen.-Ali shades-all styles 70 o. hsi
nere.-rhe 41c. values now sOc-1he Sn.
grade now i5c.-the sc. Crude h0w loc.--the
70. grade now i0c., and 80 on down TO &C.
yard.
FLAG S-rLAGs. BUNTING BUNTING
All co,ofs buntiDg tor decoration, 4Ac.
Full Regular N ade Childrens Ribbed hoso-tne
fosf and 25c kind at lOc pair
spleudid values In unisanderet shirtS-fhe
price starts Of lsc. for Q very tar Linen-
bosom shlrt-sll sizss.-our SOC. shirs Is tue
beet In tho city.
All shades Honriefiss- ys-tans--golden
prowns-pium- hehogrops = purples- - 3lc
grade At 20c.--4Cc- grade q, soc.-osc. grade
at5l
LACE.CURTAIN BARGAINa-rhe cheapest
aa ysrd long one-As s5c. PAIR.
Nets ana Musllp fiouncings-hamburg and
sviss kdginss and inssrsinss-splsnd'd
valusa
= ~ 80 npnxn araRKr
Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1890-09-04
How DanI Drew Did 1t.

About the time that Daniel Drew be.
gan his Wall street career he was up in
the country one time to visit some
friends, and two farmers called upon
him TO decide a case. One had sold the
other FIVE bushels of wheat and proposed
to measure it in half bushel and sweep
the top of the measure with stick. The
other objected, and Uncle Daniel was
asked to decide.
well, legally speaking, a bushel is
only bushel, he answered.
"And can the measure be swept off"
81 think it CAM
"What within
"Well, if was selling wheat | should
probably use half the head Of -four
barrel"
(Which edge of itgn
Gentlemen, that is point / cannot
now decide on, "sighed the old man. eff
/ was selling to a widow or a preacher |
am certain that / should sweep the
measure with the straight edge. but II |
was selling to a man who pastures his
cows on the road and his pigs in his
corn I'm afraid / should use
the circular side, and scoop a little to
bnot -
Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1890-09-04
A CODE OF MORALS.
BY RuDYARD K1PLrNc

| Now Jones had left bia ,,o,r -,
anu H tna away to the Hurrum Hills. above The
| To sit on a rock VIII, n ha,,,
nus miIe the working of the code that sets the
hliies at naught. w.
And love had made him vow so,o =. ,,.....a
made her fair '"eo' "s naeuie
DO cupid and Apollo linked, per heliograpb the
AT dawn. across the Hurrum Hills ba aaebaa
her counsel wise:
at Zen, the dying sunset bore her husbands
he warned her gainst seductive Youths in scar
let clad and gold
as much a. as gainst the Establishments paternaI
but Kept bis gravest warnings for thereby the
dirty hangsl ' WV
mat snowy haired Lothario, Lieutenant-Gen
eral Bangs
twas General Bangs, with Aide and staff, that
ut-tupp d on the wav.
"hen they beheld a Photograph tempestuously
Ihey thought Of border risings, and of stations
g, sacked and burnt,
DO stopped to take the message down, and this
Is what they learnt.
Dash dot dot, dot, dot DASH dot dash dot
49,, twice. The General swore
" as ever General Officer addressed as dear
before? W
Ny love- i faithi My Duck Gadzooks
.e MY darling popsy-wopr"
Spirit Of great Lord Wolseley who Ia on that
mountain-top?'
The artless Aide-de-camp was mute, the gilded
stan were still,
AS dumb with pent up mirth, they booked that
message from the hill;
For, clear as summers lightning flare the hus-
- band warning ran
Don't dance or ride with General Bangs-a
most immoral man."
AT dawn, across the Hurrum Hills, he flashed
her counsel wise
But howsoeyer love be blind, the world at large
With damnatory dot and dash he photographed
life P--'"'0
The artless Aide-de-camp was mute. the shin |
ing Stah were still
ana red and ever redder grow the Generals |
shaver gill
And this is what he said at last this feelings
= matter notl,-
i think we've tapped a private line. Hi
Tnrees about therel Trotl"
All honor unto Bangs for meier did Jones there
after know,
BY word or act official who read off that hello:
SUIT the tale is on the frontier, and from Michni
to Mooltan
They know the worthy General as "that most
immoral man"
Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1890-09-04
Teacnp Lore.

Here are few old women's signs
which may be read from a cup of tea.
1t anybody happens to have two spoons
in his cup, it is a sign that he will figure
prominently at a wedding before the
year is out. If milk or cream is put in
your cup before the sugar, it will "cross"
your love. A tea stalk floating on the
top of the tea is called stranger. !"
When this happens to unmarried ladies
they should stir the tea round briskly
and then place the spoon in the center
of the cup holding it quite still. If the
stranger" in its gyrations is attracted
to the spoon, the stranger" will come
that evening; should it, however, cling
to the side he will not come at all. We
may observe that it really depends on
the state of the atmosphere as to
whether the stalk goes to the middle or
not. 1t is sign of fair weather if the
clusters of small air bubbles, which
usually rise after the sugar has been
put in, collect themselves and remain
In the center of the cup. If, on the
contrary, they struggle to the sides it is
a sign that it will certainly rain in a
few hours. This cluster of bubbles is
also called kiss, and portends that
the owner will be thus saluted during
the course of the day. A cluster of tea
leaves with few stragglers at the front
or at the bottom of the cup signifies q
hearse or funeral, while a couple of
sea leaves at the bottom, if close to-
gether, signify wedding-and so on to
the end of the chapter.
Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1890-09-04
Gloves While You wat.

Julga, Of London, will deliver a pair
Of kid gloves an hour and a quarter after
they arc ordered, provided he has skin
OF the correct shade in the house. The
nearest approach to this is done here by q
firm who make gloves to order, and via
always give them in two DAYS, unless they
have to dye the skin to match some par
ticular color. They can deliver a pair
for the evening if ordered early in che
morning. trough they do not like such
hurried orders. They charge fifty cents
more for an ordered than a ready-made
pair Dry Goods Economist.
Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1890-09-04

|STED-Men Of good character and abil-
. to sell for the Fontnill Nurseries.
80 Scres ofchoice stock. New specialiies
pay, sa 'ary or commission. send photo.
.-pication. For tern. address STONE
HLINGTON, 2i2 ST. James st., Montreal,
4 J. w. BcAll, Manager.
Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1890-09-04
In Hard Luck.

Billikin-What's the matter, Viii.
likin?
Willikin-Matter enough. You know,
some time ago assigned all my prop
erty to my wife, TOTO keep it out Of
of the hands of people 1 owe, you know.
"Yes."
well, she's taken the money and
gone off-says she won't live with me
because I swindled my creditors. =
N Y. WeekLu.
Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1890-09-04

"Jane, what is the baby playing with ~
with the fatiron, mum.
Goodness gracious Take it away
from her at once. She might get it in
her mouth and swallow it !''-Norristow
Herald.
Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1890-09-04
PROOF OF AFFECTION.

81 wonder if McCorkle loves his wife
much.
Gle adores her Why, he wears neck
ties that she selects for him !n-New
York Sun.
Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1890-09-04
A REJECTED rUNsrER's REVENGE.

Clara-bIiss Simpkins,p he muir
INJURED, as he reached for his hat after
her declination, "when you think of a
little road where we used to wander be-
meath the branches of the green trees,
pray you think of me. For | am like
that little road-a lover slain; and so
he passed out of her sight.
And then she was glad she had an
swered Bazaar.
Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1890-09-04
HIS LATEST TITLE.

Wee Wife.-Love your OF course
do, You dear, blessed old peach CROP"
Big Husband lowing but luckless) =
Great Scott Why this new title9
W. W.-Because you are such per-
petual failure. II Yenownie's News.
Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1890-09-04
A COMFORTING ASSURANCE.

Hayslitt (despondently)-I don't be-
lieve have much of wit, after all, my
friends never laugh at my jokes.
Grimmage (assuringly)-oh, yes, they
do. They always laugh at them after
you have gone out.-Burlington Free
Press.
Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1890-09-04

Selby-They say that husbands and
wives grow to look like each other as
they grow older.
Ponsonby-Is that so9 What SPLEEN
did composite photograph old Plentypop
would take, them He's been married
nine times. Burlington Free Press.
Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1890-09-04
DRACO. JR.

Chelsea, June 9, 1890.
Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1890-09-04

Mrs. DeFash-Amy, why are you all
the time looking out of the window?
Don't you know it's not good form9
Amy Yes, ma, but you said yourself
the other day that the front Of the house
is too plain and needs some decoration
badly Munsey's Weekly.
Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1890-09-04
WHY TOMMY WAS STARING.

Clarence (courting Miss Alice, observes
that her little toddler of brother has
been staring at him from the drawing
room doorway quite five minutes) Why
are you looking at me so, Tommy?
Tommy-Waitin' for you to propose to
Alice
Alice-Oh, Tommy, how came you to
say such a thingl
Tommy-'Cause ma said if he'd pro-
pose you'd fling yourself right at him,
an | want to see you.
EXCLUDING THE UNNECESSARY PART.
"You remember, Maud" began the
youth, in tremulous tones, ''that you
granted my entreaty last night and"-
Zone moment, Harry" interpreted the
young woman, sweetly; ''let us go and
sit by the window; it is cooler.n And
she led him away from the concealed
photograph.
THAT you granted my entreaty
last night, " he resumed, land permitted
me to kiss you. A kiss, Maud, is the
hardest thing in the world to forget.
That kiss has been burning on my lips
ever since, and now, dearest, have come
to ask you the old, old question. Win
youn-
at doesn't seem to be any cooler
here, Harry, again interposed the lovely
but business-like maiden, and she led the
infatuated young man back to the corner
where the hidden photograph was work.
ing away. 'What were you saying,
Harry9"-[Chicago Tribune.
THE REASON.
Store is vacant,
Sign ''To Lett"
Former Tenant
Had to get.
He in sorrow
Sits and signs
Cause he didn't
Advertise.
New York Journal
HIS LATEST TITLE.
Wee Wife.-Love your OF course I
do, You dear, blessed old peach CROP"
Big Husband lowing but luckless)-
Great Scott Why this new title?
w. W.-Because you are such per-
petual failure. - Yenownie's News.
PROOF OF AFFECTION.
81 wonder if McCorkle loves his wife
much.
Gle adores her Why, he wears neck
les that she selects for him !n-New
FORK Sun.
NERVOUS.
"Jane, what is the baby playing with9'
with the fatiron, mum
Goodness graciousl Take it away
rom her at once. She might get it in
Ter mouth and swallow it !"-Norristown
Herald.
A DIsoBEDIENT PATIENT.
Irate Patron-You advertise to cure
don't your
DIR. Quack-Yes, sir. l never fail
then my instructions are followed.
Irate Patron-My son took your medi-
inc for a year, and died an hour after
nc last dose.
Dr. Quack-My instructions were not
,llowed told him to take it for two
ears New York Weekly.
OF NO ACCOUNT.
Miss Beanley-"Who is that Mr. st.
aul you were with last nightln
Miss Bunkeville (contemptuously) =
h, he's nobody, much, he told me he
I'd never been in Boston.
A COMFORTING ASSURANCE.
Hayslitt (despondently)-I don't be- L
we have much of a wit, after all, my
lends never laugh at my jokes.
Grimmage (assuringly)-oh, yes, they
}. They always laugh at them after TO
u have gone out.-Burlington Free Nj
ess.
RATHER MEAN.
bright fellow that Jen-
rs is
Johnson Gealous)-"He's a getting 81
ghter and brighter every year. He's
ting his red beard grow. Once