davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1890-05-30
"a LITTLE NONSENSE"

"A young man. whose wife's fathes
was very kind to him, said that he was
Pa excellence as father-in-law.-Mer
chant Traveller.
Another Goodness in the Jason Fam
ily.-Mrs. Jason-"Mrs Willers is 60
ing to Florida again this winter. She is
going down there for her lungs" Mr..
Jason-''How did she happen to leave
them there? Forgot 'em?"-Terre Haute
Express.
Young wife-"Are you happy, dear,
to be sailing on the matrimonial sea
with such kind and loving mate?"
Husband-"Yes, indeed; but don't you
think we'd better put into port little
while and ship a cook?"-Kearney En-
terprise.
-"Well, my dear madam, and how are
you to-day?" 80, doctor, ! have terrible
pains all over my whole body, and it
seems impossible to breathe! Of course
l can't sleep at all, and haven't par
ticle of appetite" 'But otherwise you
feel all right, don't you?"-Fliegende
Batter.
He was a man noted for his Chester
fieldian address, and had been very i'll.
'You have been at deaths door," re-
marked the doctor as his patient began
to mend. ''Really, DOCTOR" replied the
man of the world, ''do-do you know
whether I-ah-left my card?"-Harp-
er's Bazaar.
Mr.. Layman-'See here, doctor, you
said there wasn't any such disease as
hydrophobia. Dr. Schmerz (emphatic-
ally)-'No, sir, there is not" Mr..
Layman-''But old Grubbs got it all the
same, and last night he died" DR..
Schmerz acknowledgement, man
who goes and catches diseases that don't
exist ought to die."-Puck.
Kind lady to tramp-"H my poor
man, is pair of very good shoes which
my son has cast aside. He wore them
in society last winter. You may have
them" Excuse me, but I'm claiming
to be an Oregon flood sufferer, and those
fancy things wouldn't fit the story. I'll
send Billy the Kid to see yer-he's
working the dude-kicked-out-for marry
ing-a-poor-gal fake. Jury.
MARY Ann," shouted Swampoodle
matron, as she stood in the doorway.
"M-a-a-r-y Ami" "Phwat is it yez do
be wantin'?" 81 was desirin' to remark
to yez that Nellie Bly, kin git roun' tn
earth in less than eighty days, and it's
yerse1f that docs be two hours and
twinty minutes gittin' from the grocery
two blocks off wild a pitcher av milk.
Turn yer arithmetic on that and see if it
helps yer proide any.
Post.
Mr.. Slimpurse (who has been &C
cepted by Miss Wealthy without in
quiries as his financial standing)-"I
wonder, my darling, if your parents will
give their consent" Miss Wealthy
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES has always been
very particular about the moral charac-
ter of young men associate with, and
I'm afraid she'll ask good many ques-
tons" Mr.. Slimpurse Goyfully)-"Oh,
can get references from half dozen
ministers. Miss Wealthy (delighted)
-''That's spl id! Then after that all
you'll have to do will be to get refer
ences from half dozen bankers, and
you'll catch an. Y. Weekly.
The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1890-05-30
A JAP AT ANNAPOLIS.
All About a Pretty Maiden of Toxic and
an Amusing Fight.

All About a Pretty Maiden of Toxic and
an Amusing Fight.
In the Naval Academy at Annapolis
is the son of wealthy and honored
Japanese, who Is taking a course of
training preparatory to entering the
Mikado's navy. This cadet has an ene-
my, another Jap, who is living in Wash
ington. 1t is said that in three-cor-
nered Irritation between these youths
and beautiful maiden who resides in
Toxic the naval cadet came out victo-
rious. Unable to control himself, the
vanquished rival at last took refuge in
that meanest of warfare, the telling of
tales. He wrote to his friends in Japan
that the cadet was bad man, described
his faults, and made the poor fellow
appear a heartless ogre. These tales
finally reached the ears of the girl,
who said she did not believe
them. Then she sat down and wrote
her cadet lover all she had heard. In
due time her tear-stained missive
reached Annapolis; and since then-a
month ago-the maligned Jap has eaten
beef by the pound, and given himself up
to swinging Indian clubs, sparring and
practicing the broadsword exercises. A
week since he found himself devoid of
an ounce of superfous flesh and thirst
ing for gore. During all this time he
had been careful to continue friendly
with his rival, and a few nights ago in
vited the latter to his room. When
they got there the cadet locked the
door, tied the key to his belt, closed the
windows, cleared the room of bric-a-
brac, and piled chairs, tables ETC.. on
his bed. Then he stripped, telling the
other to do the same and prepare to re-
ceive the most awful thrashing On
record since David slew Goljah. A min
ute later the cadet seized his rival by
the throat and slammed him against
the wall. When the slanderer crawled
to his feet he was promptly knocked
through the glass doors of book
case. Ten seconds later he was whirl-
ing around the room like crazy cyclone.
When the cadet was tired he washed
himself, put on his clothing, and told
the other that he would be back in five
minutes with witnesses to hear an apol-
ORY. ucA uO WOAU OuO, 1OCh1uS OnO
door after him. But while he was alb
sent the tale-bearer tore down the cur
tains, made life line of them, and
swung out of the window, dropping to
the ground. He did not dare go to Wash
ington alone for fear he should meet the
cadet, so he paid policeman to accom-
pany him thither. On the way they did
meet the cadet and his friends, and an
apology was voluntarily forthcoming.
Last Saturday night number of Amer
lean cadets went in body to the
Japanese colleague, congratulating him
and approving his action. They sent
their respectful compliments to the
happy maiden in Toxic, but added re-
quest that she persuade her lover to re-
main in the United States navy.
The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1890-05-30

"A tough" bird-the jay. A cheat
ing bird-the gull. A boasting bird
the crow. A dishonest bird-the robin.
A rude bird-the hooking bird. An
untruthful bird-the Tyre bird. A low
spirited bird-the blue bird. A ''cabi-
net bird the secretary bird.
The village of Data, on the island
Of Lesbos, has woman said to be 1876
years old who still has the complete use
Of all her senses. The same island con-
tains three other inhabitants who are
said to have passed their hundredth
birthday-Ismail Apa, 40 years old;
Khalil Apa, in his 10th year, and
Aschil Baba, aged lis. All three Of
these centenarians, 1t is said, earn their
living By daily work.
The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1890-05-30
POEMS VERSUS PEANUTS.

Ny love brings poems Thursday nights
And peanuts every Monday;
he writes from early morn till eve,
Except, of course, on Sunday.
He sings Of sweetness long drawn out.
OF hopes cut through the middle,
And once he tried to weave in rhyme
The hoary Sphinx's riddle.
He's very gay, then taciturn,
And scathingly sardonio
When poetizing Plato's school
Crhat's where we get '.platonic'O.
For these he scours the country through
From 'Cisco's bay to Fundy's,
But really, if the truth were told.
I'd rather see him Mondays
Dewitt @. Lockwood, in Century.
The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1890-05-30
A Word to Young Men.

Young men make a sad mistake when
they think it necessary that they should
have a personal acquaintance with the
dark and seamy side Of life. Many man
who has peered into the abyss 'iust to
see what 1t was like" has lost his bal
ance and fallen almost hopelessly. A
young man was talking to pilot on one
Of our big steamers. "How long" he
asked, shave you been a pilot on these
waters?" The old man replied: "Twen-
sy-five years; and came up and down
many times before was pilot" Then"
said the young man, 81 should think you
must know every rock and sand-bank on
the river" The old man smiled at the
Youths simplicity, and replied, 20,
no. don't; but know where the deep
water is" That is what we want-to
know the safe path and keep to it
Farm and Fireside.
The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1890-05-30
WOMEN'S STRAW HATS.
Where the Material For the Glory of til
Feminine Toilet Come From.

Where the Material For the Glory of the
Feminine Toilet Come From.
The glory Of woman's toilet is her
hat To her it is dearer and of more
concern than even the fold, the texture,
the cut and the make of her robe. Her
hat is the cynosure of the eyes of all her
female acquaintance, the attractive
point which brings the gaze and criti-
cism Of her gentlewomen friends.
Curiously enough, however, there is
nothing about her dress that is more of
a mystery to her. From the tip of her
nicely-ftting shoes to the top of her
well-shaped hat the best informed
woman of the world knows more about
every article that goes to make up her
toilet than she does about the headgear
which, next to a woman's hair, is her
true glory. Of course every woman is
aware of the texture of felt hat. but
this article is intended to solve the mys-
terry surrounding straw hats.
What are women's straw hats made of?
It seems simple question and vet it is
not one that the ordinary woman can
we'll and truly answer. The braids are
alls imported; many from China. If L
were to tell young lady that the hat
she wore was made of straw from the
plantation of the Emperor of China,
doubt if she would believe me. and yet
it is so. Some Of this braid is called
Neapolitan and is wide and coarse. The
straw of what is known as Neapolitan
pear-ledge is found in Chu Foo. Itgrows
tall and the top is fine and the bottom
coarse, one stalk thus giving two or
more kinds of braid Venetian grows
tall and is the opposite of Neapolitan
pear-ledge, whose base is coarse. The
top of the Venetian is coarse and Is
called notified braid. The center Is
somewhat finer, and of the stalks which
are nearest the ground is made the fine
Venetian braid.-Chicago Tribune.
The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1890-05-30

"A town clerk in Maine, who is also
druggist, combines business enterprises
and public spirit by offering to give free
q marriage license and pint of cologne
to every bona tide applicant for mar
rage certificate during tho next two
months.
The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1890-05-30

A Michigan postmaster has been SO
pestered by young men gossiping with
his pretty female Clerks that ne has :
printed card which reds: "This window
for p. o. business onlyl Not for visit
Ing"
The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1890-05-30

One of the most encouraging feat-
ures of the great movement of modern
missions is the growing enthusiasm
among medical and other students in
this and other countries. Fifty years
ago medical missionaries were almost
unheard' of; now missionary society
without its medical missionaries can
scarcely be found.-London Christien.
The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1890-05-30

A new celebr. ty is making his appear
ance along the boulevards. He is a we'll
dressed, intelligent-looking youth. He
saunters along the terraces of the prin-
cipal cafes, scanning the faces OF the
consommateurs until he catches sight of
one that strikes his fancy. Dofing his
hat politely, he thus accosts the gentle
man he has singled out: "Will mon
sieur be good enough to ask me any
question he pleases relating to the his
tory of France, from the time of .Phara-
mond down to Napoleon Ill? / can tell
monsieur the day, even the hour, of the
birth, marriage or death of any historic
al parsonage" In nine cases out of ten
this walking encyclopedia has so vel
chosen his man that monsieur, thus ad-
dressed, puts him a number of questions,
all of which are answered correctly anf
instantly, to the establishment of th
persons around and to the profit of til
inventor of this novel method of earl
ing livelihood. Letter.
The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1890-05-30
RELIGIOUS AND EDUCATIONAL.

The Bible has been translated into
sixty-six of the languages and dialects
of Africa.
--One-half the population of Japan is
in the southern part, but the most of the
missionary work has been done in the
northern-central portions of the empire.
The first missionary arrived in Corea
in 1884; the first convert was baptized in
1886. Now there are more than 100
Christians in the country.
According to the Book Buyer there
were 377 works on theology and religion
published in 1886, 351 in 1887, 4S2 in 1883,
and 1863 in 1889.
Rev. j. L. bearing says the eager
ness of the Japanese for Christianity is
overstated. They are eager for educa-
ton, but Christianity is stumbling
block to many.
An association of teachers of girls
schools was lately organized at Madras,
India, with forty-fve members. Mrs.
Isabel Brander, who originated the idea,
was elected president.
The Baptist denomination in Libe-
ria is the only self-supporting religious
body in that country. There are thirty
one churches with 8, 600 members. They
have mission among the aborigines.
The Topeka Capital (Kansas)
says: 1.-THE teacher ought to make a
continuous study of means for best APP
plying the rudiments of education in
building up men and women fit for the
practical work of life"
The Methodist Church has decided
to build college in Kansas City, Kan.
Property worth about $1,O00.000 has
been acquired there and the educational
committee of the church recently met
to arrange for the erection of suitable
building.
The British and Foreign Bible So
ciety has, during the eighty-one years
of it's existence, issued from its London
house alone 100000 of complete
Bibles, nearly 80, 600, 600 Of New Tesla
ments, and 11,S45, 900 portions OF the
Bible. This makes total OF 72,500, 600
books issued from the London head
quarters. Christian at Work.
East Africa has of late engrossed so
much attention that readers may be In
danger of forgetting the claims OF mis-
sions and the progress of the Gospel in
other parts of that vast continent. The
venerable Bishop Crowther, who has re-
Gently arrived in England, speaks highly
of the immense strides which Christi
unity is making among the West African
natives, very encouraging feature be-
ing the self-denying enthusiasm which
converts display in helping on the good
work. They have built for themselves
several churches in the interior for their
use when attending the oil market.
The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1890-08-01
A Ministerial Joke,

Ministers like their little Jokes as well
as any one else. Chaplain Wharton. of
the Grand Army of the Republic for the
state of Wisconsin, is no exception. and
he perpetrated' one while ago which
acted as a boomerang; it came back and
hit him hard. 1t was at some great
G. A. r. affair, where speeches were
being made, and one speaker desired TO
refer to the incident mentioned in the
Bible where some one tied the tails of
two hares together. The speaker was at
loss to remember who this person was.
and he asked the chaplain. With face
as sober as judge, that gentleman said
it was Goliah. The speaker went on
with his talk and made his reference,
speaking Goliahs name in all confidence.
Some one behind pulled his coat tail and
said in whisper: cit was not Goliah:
it was Absalom." This rather knocked
him out for a moment, but quickly re-
covering he said: well, there appears
to be little discrepancy about who it
was that tied the hares' tails together.
AS was not sure about it myself went
to Chaplain Wharton, thinking he should
be authority on the matter, and he to-
me it was Goliah." This so completely
turned the laugh upon the chaplain that
the speaker got back his composure and
finished his remarks in good style
Chicago Herald.
The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1890-08-01
Not to Be Outdone.

Hospitality is the browning virtue of
he Turk. He would scorn to be thought
behindhand in this respect when COM
pared with any other race of men. Mr..
Barley tells story in his Bulgaria
Before the War; which proves that the
Turk will not allow himself to be out
done even by any of his countrymen.
A friend of mine was one day shoot
ing in the vineyards at Rustchuk, when
he was stopped by an old Turk and told
that trespassers were not allowed, and
that he must clear off at once.
My friend turned to comply, but be-
fore leaving said in Turkish, "What
manner of man are you? | have shot in
these vineyards for years without word
being said to me, and today have passed
over many miles and spoken to many
owners of vineyards, and you are the
only one who has raised the slightest OBJ
lection. The vineyard is yours, and you
have the right to object to my being
here, SO l shall leave your ground, but
never received such treatment from an
Osmani before"
The Turk, who, up to this time, had
been squatting on the ground, jumped
up, and, with marvellous display of en-
ergy, began protesting.
'My good fellow" he cried, ''you shall
not say SO! Others have shown you hos
pitality, and | will not be behind them.
Go where you like, eat what you like,
carry away all you like, and all the vine
yard is yours to do as you like with"
The Englishman thanked him, and it
ended i'll the two squatting down and
having feast on grapes together.
The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1890-08-01
A Pretty Action.

A newsboy took the Sixth avenue ele-
waited at Park place at noon yesterday,
and sliding into one of the cross seats fell
asleep. At Grand street two young wo-
men got on and took the seats opposite
the lad. His feet were bare and his hat
had fallen off. Presently the younger
girl leaned over and placed her muff
under the little fellows dirty cheek. An
old gentleman in the next seat smiled at
the act and without saying anything held
out quarter, with a nod toward the
boy. The girl hesitated a moment and
then reached for it. The next man Just
as silently offered a dime, woman across
the aisle held out some pennies, and be-
fore she knew it the girl, with flaming
cheeks, had taken money from every
passenger in that end of the car. She
quietly slid the amount into the sleeping
lads pocket, removed her muff gently
from under his head without rousing
him and got off at Twenty-third street,
including all the passengers in pretty
little inclination of the head that seemed
full of thanks and the possession of a
common secret.-New York World.
The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1890-08-01
With One Arm.

''On the WHOLE" said the one armed
man, refectively, Il am glad lost my
arm, even if don't get pension for it.
| was never in any war in my life.
could have gone, but l did not want to
do it. Isn't that good reason enough?
''Still, | am not sorry | lost my arm
It saves me cuffs and sleeves and lots of
other things you fellows have to buy.
Do miss it? Yes. But not so much as
you would think. Ihave got used to do
ing without it, and am quite happy.
was single when l lost my arm. / had
just been Tilted by girl. After l got
carried through the mill and manned ]
paid court to another girl, and she took
me as was. Since then we have made
money, and had eight healthy children. -
AS he spoke he reached to the top of
the door and lifted himself up eight
times in succession. Then he held by
his little finger for two minutes and a
half. There is not one man in 1O,OOO
with two hands who can do that.-Bos-
ton Globe.
The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1890-08-01
A Lively Horse.

Arthur Simmons has a Texas pony on
his farm at Chokee whose ability as a
jumper cannot be surpassed. He is a
diminutive specimen of that breed of
horsefesh, and a day or two ago was put
into big box or crate for shipment to
Americas, there being no stock car con-
venient at the time. The pony and box
were placed upon fiat car and the train
pulled out. The little sample of Texas
cyclone soon got tired of his close quar-
tiers, and while the train was running at
speed of thirty miles an hour, kicked
the box into cooked hat and made leap
for liberty. He struck terra frma right
side up with care, and when the train
men came back to view his cold remains
the said remains were quietly nibbling
at key of iron spikes on the side of the
road, and it took four men and boy an
hour to run down and capture him. AT
least that is what the conductor said
Americas (Ga.) Times.
The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1890-08-01
About ChlOrOforming.

The statement that when handker-
chief is thrown over a mans head he
Immediately goes into trance is inter-
esting and raises curious point. There
are many lawyers who are wont to de-
clare that the evidence given from time
to time at criminal trials leaves no
doubt that there exists some drug
which, when spread upon a cloth and
placed over the nose and mouth, imme-
diately produces Inconsistencies On
the other hand, chemists assert that
the thing is an impossibility, and that
no such compound has ever been dis
covered.
Chloroform and the other recognized
an@sthetics require at least three dis
tinct inhalations to produce the loss OF
sensation. To reconcile this conflict OF
testimony seems impossible, unless, in
deed, we adopt the sensational theory
that some camorra among the criminal
classes is in possession IF a trade secret
as yet unknown to science. Probably,
however, this notion is too fantastic, and
we should rather incline to the suppose
ton that the immediate loss OF con-
sciousness is due to something compar-
able to mesmeric action.-Spectator.
The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1890-08-01
Manners of Americans.

The real test of the manners and morals
OF nation is not by comparison with
other nations. but with itself. It must be
judged by the historical. not by the topo-
graphical standard Does it develop? and
how? Manners, like morals, are an affair
OF evolution, and must often be native
product, wholly indigenous thing. This
is the case, for instance, with the habitual
American courtesy to women in travel
ing-a thing unparalleled in any Euro
pean country, and of which, even in this
country, Howells finds his best type in
the Californian. What takes the place
OF it among the Latin races is the courtesy
OF the high bred gentleman toward the
lady who is his social equal-which is a
wholly different thing. A similar point
OF evolution in this country is the decorum
OF public assembly. It is known that
at the early town meetings in New Eng
land men sat with their hats on, as in
England. Unconsciously, by simple
evolution of good manners, the habit has
been outgrown in America, but parlia-
ment still retains it.
Many good results may have followed
imperceptibly from this same tendency
to decorum. Thus Mr.. Bryce points out
that the forcible interruption of public
meeting by the opposite party, although
very common in England, is very rare in
America In general, with us, usages are
more flexible. more adaptive; in public
meetings. for instance, we get rid of a
great many things that are unutterably
tedious, as the English practice of NOV
ing, seconding and debating the pre-
scribed vote of thanks to the PRESIDING
officer at the end of the most insignifi-
cant gathering. It is very likely that
even our incessant self criticism con.
tributes toward this gradual ameliora-
ton OF habits. In that case the wonder
Is that our English cousins, who criticise
themselves quite as necessarily, move SO
siowly.-Harper's Bazaar.
The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1890-08-01
Future of Iron Work.

There are no data now existing which
will enable any one to predict what will
be the size of boilers, engines, dynamos,
steamships, bridges, cars, locomotives,
office buildings and other structures ten
years hence. Everything in the en-
cheering line seems to be changing at a
more rapid rate than at any previous
period. Certainly the limit to increase
of size does not yet appear. When the
single engine reached its limit in ship
building, the compound engine came in.
When shafts and screws seemed to have
grown as large as they could be made,
twin screws and shafts were used, and
at the same time facilities for making
still larger shafts and screws were per-
fected. So it is in every branch of en-
cheering; as soon as limit is fixed
some one finds way of overlapping it,
and the limit is placed further ahead
Engineering and Mining Journal.