Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1890-07-11
ADVICE TO SUICIDES.
To Follow Aunt MehltabePs Very
Sensible Example.

To Follow Aunt Mehltabeps Very
Sensible Example.
Boston Transcript
That, at least, was the explanation
that suggested itself to the listener
as he shivered through the streets.
Somehow the raw chill brought to
his mind the case OF Aunt Mehitabel
Coffin, who not more than q short
generation ago lived in a cold old
house down the cold side OF Cape
Cod, with houseful of rather frigid
maiden ladies, her sisters and nieces.
Becoming a little unsettled in her
mind, Aunt Mehitabel resolved that
she would battle no longer with an
inclement world. She announced to
the family, one particularly chilly
morning, that she had fully made up
her mind to commit suicide.
Laws sakes!" exclaimed her
younger sister Abigail, incredulously;
chow do you think you're going to
kill yourself, Mehitabel?"
"The most nat'ral way round
here" said Aunt Mehitabel, with a
SILVER, lis to freeze yourselfto death
An that's the way I'm going to dc
it.
The rest of the family laughed her
to scorn. But when she had made all
her preparations to go, and even
given away her Paisley shawl and
her string of gold beads, their scepti-
cism turned to alarm. 1t began to
look as il she We're actually in earnest.
The next night the thermometer went
down almost to zero. Aunt Mehita-
BILE told them all n wailing good-by at
about o'clock in the evening, and
went up to the spare room, which
was, of course, the coolest room in
the house. She put up the window,
sat on the sill, and hung her feet out
into the icy north wind.
There was no man in the household,
and no woman strong enough or
brave enough to compel Amt Mehit-
able to get back into the room. So
the sisters and nieces gathered about,
shivering in the intensified cold OF
the spare room.
By-and-by the suicide began TO
show signs Of uneasiness in her perch
at the window.
WAL" she said, 81 guess it's bout
s easy to freeze to death on the floor
rs tbs out here"
She crept back into the room, and
crouched down upon the hard floor,
moaning and complaining. BY this
time the other women of the house
hold had fed back into the passage
way, and stood waiting in the dark
ness.
"Beats all" they heard Aunt Me-
hitabel murmur presently, chow hard
this ere old floor is! l guess I'll set
on the rug"
She moved to the rug, and set up q
new series of world-weary iamenta-
tons; but after she had sat here for
some time, and had experienced no ne
Of the positive symptoms of freezing
TO death, she rose and sat down on
the foot of the bed.
"This damp old bed always was
'nough to freeze anybody, and i
guess it'll fetch me-" she exclaimed,
eff anything will"
Presently, almost without her own
consciousness, she sank down upon
the bed, and then one of her nieces
glded into the room and softly COW
cred her with n quilt.
"Oh, dear! oh, dearl" Aunt Mehita-
bel shrieked. "Im goin to sleep, an
that's a sure sign that I'm freezing
to death. Yes, Pm goin'! Good-by
to cold, cruel world-good-by,
good byW
Aunt Mchitabel slept soundly un-
til morning, and awoke in a greatly
improved mental condition. She did
not renew her attempt at suicide,
and never made any reference to it
as long as she lived.
To people who are born to commit
suicide, Aunt Mehitabel's method of
shuffiing off is, perhaps, to be recon-
mended.