The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1890-09-27
PuNoENr PARAGRAPHS.

TON0ENb TAUbt&1NtSttu0s
Some young men live so fast that
watches left to them by their parents
lose couple of hours day.
When girl elopes with her coach.
man, some other man is saved from
getting mighty poor wife.-Buffalc
Express.
THE rich Count Won Altburg is to
be married" ITO an American grip
"What foolish question? Didn't say
the rich count?"- Society.
The best cure for obesity is to board
for the summer at farm house where
you will be treated like one Of the
family.-Boston Gazette.
Spiritual Indigestion. Darlington
-"I wonder what can have made our
friend Anderson such pessimist?''
Runk-"Hc's had too much of the good
things of life. Puck.
First Senator-s'l have . scheme to
which wish to give the widest pub
Iicity. What do you suggest as the best
method?" Second Senator-s'Di Discuss it
in secret session, of course. Racket.
Probably the iceman has never
noticed the dainty little tin tongs that
are furnished with boxes of confection-
cry. They are neat, Inexpensive, and
would be quite useful in his business. -
Washington Post.
--Helen(7 p. n.y. Jack will get his
walking ticket when he calls tonight.
I'll tell him don't care any thing for
him." Helen % p. m.s = Oh dear! Isn't
he coming tonight? hope he didn't
take that little quarrel of Wednesday
seriously. Boston Herald.
There is man." said De Kique, in
the hotel corridor. "who has done more
toward the publication OF American pol
itics than anybody else know Of ("
"How?' HE retired to private life. -
Washington Post.
Thompson -"You look pale and
thin, johnson. Why will you persist in
killing yourself working night and day
such weather as this?" johnson = 81
am trying to earn money enough to pay
the expenses of weeks rest in the
country."-N. Y. Weekly.
"A St. Petersburg doctor is stopped
late at night by policeman, who asks
why he is out SO late. ITO attend Mr..
Popoff. who was taken suddenly ILL.,
ibid he have permit to be taken sud-
denly ill?'' ssNo." "Then you will
have to go to prison" Detroit Free
Press.
-Cholly -sI cawn't imagine wha,
you are going out in the country for,
Miss Dashing. You are such favorfte
with the men should think you would
like to be where we are" Miss Dashine
That's the very reason I'm going ia
the country-to see il can't find real
man somewhere. '-Munsey's Weekly
Fortune is as blind as any bnt;
Your own Affairs give proof OF that;
And sometimes needs adjusting.
If things were right" you sadly sing,
''rd be q president, king.
millionaire or some such thing"
You're rght-it is disgusting.
IN. Y. Press.
-"The vile. abominable literature
that is polluting the minds Of our boys
and girls, wrote the editor. lis pub
lie disgrace and by the way, Judkin-
son, I" said he, stopping short in his able
editorial and turningto the local editor,
''be sure you have the full particulars
Of that divorce scandal in East Bicycles
ton; the Evening Whangdoodle musn't
get the bulge on us this time. let me
see; where was /? o, yes-public dis
grace and should be suppressed by the
strong arm of the law. Many youth
owes his downfall to the-be sure you
interview both parties, hutchinson, and
make it spicy you know. National
Publisher and Printer.