St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-06-08

HES dEC Wlln 10 11OOSSOIoNo IVY
it?-an idiosynerasy. My father was
one of ten, all boys, none of whom died
in infancy; all of whom married, and
all of whom developed the family lido
syncrasy-with the exception of Deci-
mus, the youngest, who was bachelor.
When say that each of my uncles had
a child named Decimus. we HodgettSes
will, | am sure, have your sympathy
and commiseration. There was only
one thing we disagreed about, for we
were very united family, and that was
the possession of Great Uncle Decimus.
My century of nephews and nleces all
call him great-uncle, and we all loved
and respected him far beyond his de-
serts, for there was nothing particularly
nice or attractive about Great-Uncle
Decimus, and there was good deal Of
mystery. In the first place nobody
ever knew where Great Uncle Deci-
mus lived. "a letter will always find
me at Hobson q JObson'S, in Great
Winchester street, you know" he
would say. Now HobSon IL JObSon
were an old firm of East India mer-
chants, and Great Uncle Decimus had
once been in their service in Bombay.
We all looked upon Great Uncle Dec
linus as wealthy and eccentric miser,
and our mouths used to water when
Great Uncle Decimus would begin one
of his Indian stories in his we'll known
manner: when was out in Bombay,
having pull at the pagoda tree or
zone day as my kitmutghar handed
ME glass of brandy-pawnee." or Cal.
cutta, as you know. is called the city of
XNo nAnlAnff houn fhn clInb f
est doubt of it. Great Uncle Decimus'
denominations probably exceeded the
widest dreams of avarice. He was as
suredly very wealthy man-he was
so particularly stingy; he never
spent anything on his clothes; he
never gave anything to the Serv-
ants at the houses where he stayed;
and he always caused his hosts the
greatest possible amount OF lnconven-
fence and annoyance. His wants were
numerous. lmprimis, he required a
fire in his bed room all the year round:
secondly, when be wasn't eating he al
ways had a pale and pungent abomina-
ton in his mouth-a long, thin kind of
cigar, with a straw through the middle,
which he callek ''trichi." HereQuired
to be fed upon Indian dishes, and COM
PEELED his hostesses to procure the con-
dimentS necessary for their preparation
at expensive shops in the West end.
Then, again, he wasn't a fixed festival
he was movable feast; he always
made an appointment for what he called
his next years visit; and he inevitably
kept it, unless you had death in your
family. On the second day of Great
Uncle DecimuS' visitation, after break
fast, he would invariably produce fat
IL ~ ohnr in, his
family since l was here last?"
manner. baby, little Tommy, was
born lust six months ago, great UNCLE"
his hostess would remark. Name of
infant" Great Uncle Decimus, would
i name if two YOU please p Thomas Deci-
mus" the mother would answer with a
blush. Exact date of birth ?' the old
mau would inquire: 81 have to be par
ticular," he would say; There are sew
eral Thomas Decimuses in the family.
We mustn't forget yourRlittle Thomas
Decimus, my DEAR" he would add in
patroniZing manner. ANY losses, my
dear?" the old man would remark in
business-llke way; and then the death
OF Jacky or Alexander would be duly
noted. Great Uncle Decimus would
make an erasure and the following con-
solatory remark: $50 much the better
for his dear little brothers and sisters"
he would say with sigh; and then he
would replace the book III his pocket
and light one of his awful cheroots.
My wife hates the very name of to-
bacco, and yet she was a will
ing martyr for her chtldrens sake.
al can't bear the smell of any other
cigars but yours, Uncle Decimus," she
would say, and then Great Uncle Deci-
mus would order the lunch and dinner.
AS he would naively put it, II hate CIV
ing trouble, my dear, you know. A
simple pillan Of fowl, a prawn curry
and a glass of old Madeira is good
enough for old DecimuS HodgettS any
day"
When young Hodgetts married, the
first thing he or she did after the honey
moon was to arrange for All early visit
from Great Uncle Decimus. 1t was a
prudent sort of thing to do, you know;
it seemed almost like insuring ones
life. All the old mans underclothing
was confectioned by the hands OF his
affectlonate female relatives. My wife
used to knit him socks; another niece
by marriage made his shirts; the
younger members of the family used to
work him braces and knee caps, and
present him with dozens of large SILK
handkerchiefs, hemmed and marked by
their own fair fingers.
There's vast amount of selfiShneSs
in this wicked world. A good many of
us Hodgettses, l am afraid, rather looked
forward to the death of Great Uncle
Decimus and what they were in the
habit of speaking of as the dividend OF
his property. Any serious matter that
involved considerable expenditure OF
money they would postpone till 1.-THE
time when, in the ordinary course OF
nature. the dear old man would be
taken from u.s." For instance, we did
not keep a carriage; but we had fully
determined to when Great Uncle Deci-
mus should pass away. Alb, what self
ish world this is.
bit Jealous of my eldest brother Jasper
not so much because he was the ED
est son of the family, being the eldest
son of the eldest son somebody must be
the eldest son of the family, you know.
but because Great Uncle Decimus in
yariably spent his Christmas at my
brother Jasper's. There was no earthly
reason why he should favor Jasper
more than anybody else; but he did
and we all smarted under the injustice
of it. The day after Christmas day last
wear. as we were sitting down to lunch,
our parlor maid handed me telegram.
1t ran as follows:
Regret to announce death of Great Uncle
Decimus Come round at once. JASPER.
Il always knew it would be sou cried
nv wife. II knew it would happen
sooner or later. Mrs. Jasper's pastry
has been the death OF the poor OLD man
And oh, Augustus" my wife went on
''itll cost a mint of money for mourn
ing, and we must put the servants i'll
too, suppose"
1--WE must revere his memory" sale
severely. "Pll run over to Jasper's a
once and look into things"
LAS you're coming home, DEAR" sale
my wife affectonately, do look into
Ceespring 81 Splinterbar's; there's {
most lovely victoria"
reproved her. ut isn't time fol
victorias,'' l said, in the tones of lore
chief Justice. You'd better go out anc
see to the mourning, my dear, and bt
sure you spare no eXpense;" and then
hurried off to my brother Jasper's. OF
my way | called in at hatter's anC
asked for a hat band.