The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-07-11
BRIGHT BITS.

VERY LIKE 4 IREg-
Tn-y sat upou the portico-
The hour was late. indeed
Far Nellie yawne1 necessarily.
But Harry took no heed.
Why are you ike that blasted tree
Poor boy could not C conceive.
Because, she answered, sleepily-
Because you do not leave.
The Jury.
USFoRTUNATE.-"A epidemic Of scarlatina
has broEsn out among the fashi0nables
How distressing, Red is awful uubecoming
to me. epoch.
VERY MUcH.-A flirting woman can cause
more trouble to manainI than a devastating
army. but she Is very much nicer than the
devastating army, after all.-SomerutHe Jour
nal.
SENATOR EvARTs no longer holds the palm as
the champion long-sentence speaker. One was
uttered in a New YORK court the other day thar
it Will take the subject Of it a lifetime TO get
through. -PhitadelDhia Times.
A COURAGEOUS ANIMAL.-.Is that horse afraid
OF anything" asked Mrs. Nervous, out riding
for the first time with livery stable rig.
Not even of me, replied Mr. Nervous
Rloomily, as he vigorously, but va.nly applied
the w1lp. -SJmefUiUe Journal.
BzSEvoLEyT-"Well, Fritz, you got whipped
in school today
Yes, but it did not hurt"
But you certainly nave beeG crying"
20 wanted to let tn teacher have little
pleasure out Of it. - iiegende Blatte,.
PROFITS OF TIE PEN.-"I see by the news.
papers, remarked Miss Manhattan, who was
visiting in Chicago, that sir Edwin Arnold
makes $4,000 year from his pen"
20 pshaw,' replied Hiss Livewayte, the pork
packers daughter, my pa makes more than
that. '--Ne,C York SUI.
THE Ice WANTED FREsH.-Lady Customer
Do you sell ice herey
Dealer-Hes'm.
Row long have YOU had it on hand;"
"Since last winter"
1T won't do; must have some that's per
fectly fresh. "-Chicdgo Posi-.
THEIR sITE.-'.Where do you put all the mon.
uments you erect to public mem asked a Wis
itor from Chicago Of New York resident
We have reservation for them" replied
the New Yorker
"Indeed:"
''Yes-a mental reservation. "-Chicago Inter
Ocean.
FIRST Philosopher ION planet Jupiter)-Yes
sir, the earth is inhabited! That barrier across
the continent IS the work of hum IL intelligence.
SECOND Philosopher docking through glass -
Intelligence: That's wall they've built to
impede trade between the tribes. The ga, tn is
Inhabited, sure enough, and evidently by idiots
Toronto GRIP.
SUNDRIEs FOR DRINKABLEs -Sleeker-Y
sir, always kept diary. And there never was
an entry in that diary which wonld nave been
ashamed that my mother or my sister should
see
Runlan-Salne mere. l used TO put down
candy" for cigars and 'sundries" for drink.
abes.-BoStoH Transcript.
BLASTED HOPES. Where are you going this
summer, jack"
Il can't go anywhere, Jim haven't got any
money"
Why, thought you tod me that you had
expectations from your unc.e"
SO had, but he would not accept the collat-
eral l offered him. - Boston Courier
PLENTY OF. THIS KIND OF CUSTOMERS Man
with watch (handing it over)-It hasn't been
three weeks since you cleaned and overhauled
this watch, and it's out of order again 1t
won't go.
Matchmaker examining it. winding it up
and handing it back ~ That is all 1t needed.
Man with watch goes away in a TOW eriug rage
snd matchmaker has lost a customer K Chicago
Tribune.