The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1890-01-17
HIS Eyes Went Back On Him.
THE REMEDY FOR A MAN WHO SAW A
WOODS FULL OF CooNs.

| THE REMEDY FOR A MAN WHO SAW A
WOODS FULL OF CooNs.
"Doctor," said red faced and
water eyed man from Wayne town
ship, as he came into Dr. Bsbcock's e
Office, in Hammondsport, tie other
day. 'Tm afraid my eyes is goin'
back on me, and dropped in TO kind
O. see if | can find out where they're
lame"
"Ahl" said the doctor. "What
seems to be the matter with your
eyes?'
"That's what don't know" replied
the man, shut they played me trick
tother day that don't leave no room
for doubt but what there's some
thin out o gear with 'em, somehow.
I'll give you the symptoms. Maybe
YOU don't know that I'm quite coon
hunter, but / am. Tother day my boy
bought one O these britch loadin' and
repeatin' shotguns, and / told him I'd
go out and see how it'd work on a
coon. l went out and hadn't gone
more than mile up the hill before l
seen big coon pop on TO the limb of
chestnut tree. He came there so
sudden that | couldn't get it through
me where he had come from and how
he got there. But l didn't stop TO ask
no questions, but up and blazed away.
Now, I've got the name over way,
Doc, of never missing anything shoot
at, and of course when / pulled up and
whanged away at that coon / expected
to see him tumble, but he didn't.
When the smoke cleared away he sot
there inst as he was when seen him
first. | was surprised, now l tell yon.
| thought it was the guns fault, but
blazed away again. The coon never
moved. l happened to look, some
how or other, at tree off to the right
of the one the coon was in, and there
sot another coon on limb. l Ithonght
I'd try my luck on him, ard 80 | let
him have shot. He never stirred.
| begun to get mad by this time, and
durin' little conversation / was havin'
with myself about the gun l happened
to glance at tree to the left Of the
first tree, and there on limb was an
other coon. l tried my luck on the
third coon and didn't hit him..no more
than l did t'other two. l looked at
the first tree; there was that coon set
tin right where he was when l first
seen him. l looked at the second tree
and there was that coon still on the
limb. l turned my head towards an
other tree and there l seen fourth
coon, and lookin' around me which
ever way l might every tree seen had
coon in it, and all as fat as coons
could be. got wild. Thunder
l hollered, here's the woods full O
coon, and han't got nothing but this
new-fanglei gun that won't hit a
barn..
"But begun to blaze away as fast
as the gun could spit cartridge, fust
at one coon and then at another, until
every darn load was emptied out O. the
gun and l hadn't dropped a coon. ]
was jist going to slat that gun
to flinders against tree when hap.
pened to rub my eye, and when took
my hand down there on my finger
was nice, jolly, fat wood louise. ]
looked up, but every coon was gone
The fact O the matter is, Doc, that
wood louise had been hangln' on to one
of my eye-winkers all the time. and
thought was seeing coons. Be 1 GIT
tin near-sighted, or is the optic nerve
doublin' up on me.
Neither one" said the doctor.
"Have your hind pocket in your hunt
ing pants cut down from quart size to
half-pint and you'll be all right"
The man went out shaking his head
and said he'd think about it.-Chicag gC
Herald.