The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1890-11-07
cnrcKEN BnIsrLE.

l
What great thing 1t Is to be great
/ never fully realized what grand
and stupendous article greatness was
| till last Wednesday. had read of one
Alexander the Great and Napoleon
/ Bonaparte, men who had ruled the
destinies of empires and held within
their grasp the fate of nations; had
heard of Vanderbilt and Jay Gould,
whose great railways reach from the
Atlantic to the Pacific; l had once
looked through the cracks of fence
and saw a newly-appointed postmaster
pass by clothed in power and greatness
and an old linen duster; / have stood
face to face with the living skeleton,
of the man that married his mother
in-law; but never till ! reached Rabbit
City, on the narrow gauge railroad, did
/ have a full conception of what human
greatness is. The sun was just setting
in n flood of molten gold as 1 reached
the city of Rabbit, and one-legged
chickens. The agent had long since
gone where the woodbine twineth,
unable tostand the pressure Of the new
regulations. Taking from my ham
pocket pale-red handkerchief, waved
it in the face of the coming train. NV
signal was answered by one of the
most unearthly yells that ever belched
| from the throat of steam whistle,
and as the Westinghouse air brakes
were applied, she slid into the station
alongside Of a magnificent wood-pile,
which, for beauty of architecture, con-
fers great credit upon its builder. We
were met at the door by one of the
officials of the road and conducted into
one of the fine palace cars of which
the train was made up. The car was a
model of beauty, being furnished with
everything that wealth and the most
exquisite taste could suggest. The
seats We're upholstered in imported
goods made from the hair of the Sir
| William Goat, vulgarly called the Billy
Goat, captured in the Forks of the San
/ tiam.
Dropping into the only vacant seat,
l gazed timidly around me, and, In n
low voice, asked who run the road
| Up went the hands of the nearest
brakeman, and giving me look that
might have killed a stronger man than
/ i, he whispered, "Whc are YOU? Where
have you been? Don't you ever read:
Can il be possible? Here, boys he
yelled, sscoine here. This being don't
know who runs this road.u AS the
conductor came up he said, "Great
Scott Then / wondered what Scott
ii was. ] knew that Gen. Winfield
Scott had long ago gone to a country
where barrow gauge railroads are never
run. Looking up at the conductor
with one of my blandest smiles, asked
who the deuce this Scott is, anyhow
/ Patient reader, those words nearly cost
me my life. With yell that would
have made q AIodoc brave turn pale
with envy, the train men drew their
pistols, and as 1 threw up my little
hands, / told them / WAS no train rob
ber, but would like to know what this
! gentle racket meant.
"Wretched man, said the boss of
I the road. as wave of pity swept
athwart his handsome face, "donit you
know that YOU are riding on a great
trunk line, whose anaconda length
permits its head TO rest at Rays Land
ing, while its tail fiops around in the
city of Coburg? Ignorant ereaturem
ne cried, don't you know that the
Receiver of this grand trunk line is
the greatest railroad monarch of this
or any other age? He il is who framed
the new regulations 1t was his active
and massive brain that conceived and
put into practice the celebrated nine
hour system Under this system we,
the vassals of King Scott, work nine
heurs in the forenoon and nine in the
afternoon. That is why we work for
one-half what we used to get"
With tears in my eyes l begged for
mercy and told them l would never
say anything about 1t, and never
will.
Last Sunday we had the pleasure Of
taking dinner at the st. Charles hotel.
The dining room was a model of neat
ness aud the tables were loaded with
viands that would have tickled the
palate of an epicure. Mr.. Doud and
his estimable lady are doing all in
their power to make their guests COM
Portable and happy
l wonder who the black-eyed Young
lady was that broke the hearts of the
two fair-haired boys from Chicken
Bristle at Briggs photo gallery on
Monday last.
The kind lady who sent US such good
advice through the mail will please
accept our heartfelt thanks, and may
me to profit by those kind words that
will linger in my memory until / cross
the dark river. May the life of the
spotless rs the canopy of heaven: may
her pathway thl ough life be lined on
either side by the most beautiful flow
iers that bloom; and when she is called
to cross the river into that mysterious
wonderland, may the angels and arch
angels, with outstretched arms, well