Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1890-07-23
CONVERSATION AN ART.
Its Practice Requires Observation, Tac
and Self.Forgetfulness.

Its Practice Requires Observation, Tact
and Self'FOrgettulness.
A correspondent wrote recently ask.
ing advice as to conversation which
should be carried on during recep-
tion."
In the very first place, unless it be
discussion which follows the paper at q
club, where the leaders are selected and
know what is expected before hand,
there is nothing as fatal to general con-
versation as to be given set theme,
and be expected to talk up to it. 1t is
as lifeless as a copy from the fiat-as
the artists say. The art of talking
easily and we'll is probably a gift, like
the gift of singing, or painting or writ
ing poetry, and the best takers are
probably born, not made. But even a
very humble gift may be cultivated,
and the dull, uninteresting person may
become in very great degree, inter
esting and attractive.
The first requisite is Inconsistencies
of self. 1t is the theme, and not the
speaker, that should be foremost, and
as long as the talker is wondering
whether his pronunciation is all right,
whether he has given the Italian sound
of "a" just the right accent, or whether
his verbs agree perfectly with their sub
ject, just as long will he-or she-be
awkward and constrained. ! am not
urging disregard of correct pronuncia-
tion, careful enunciation or grammatical
rules, for they are as important as the
ideas they convey; but it is after all the
idea which is and should be the main
10 1lry Coi1
that good takers must be we'll read,
observant, and if there is sense of hu-
NOR, so much the better. All this is
true, but one finds the dullest of all
dull people in city draWing-rooms,
among the thoroughly we'll read; those
who have travelled around the globe and
have seen the Kingdoms of the
earth and the glory of them. They
have not one impression to sub
NIT, not one opinion to offer that is of
the slightest consequence, or if they
have they furnish a curious illustration
of the petty and contemplate things
the mind will gather up and retain,
while that which was of some account
has passed unobserved or has been for
gotten.
Indifferent takers. They save their
good things to gointo their books or the
newspaper article, and have a way, be-
sides, of absorbing any other good
things they may overhear. At the din
ner or the supper, which it was hoped
they would enliven, they are as dull as
clods.
On the other hand, some of the most
delightful takers to be found are uned-
ucated farmers They have seen little
of the world, but they observe nature
as it lies about them; they read
the papers and reach conclu-
sions. Their shrewd, keen observa-
tions are as fresh and bracing as
the air of a bright March morning.
Many years ago 1 visited Macinac,
going by steamer from Chicago The
morning we arrived breakfast was not
served on board. The mate had ar
ranged to show me over the vessel, and
when we reached the cooks domain
that functionary had prepared charm
ing luncheon. On the return trip a
little souvenir was sent him by the mate,
by way of acknowledgement The same
evening, after the supper had been
served, the cook appeared on deck,
dressed in his best, to present his
| thanks in person. He was a middle
aged man, very deaf and very shy, and
not quite at ease in his Sunday clothes.
Moreover, to add to his EN- Embarrassment,
| his confreres were watching him
and smiling furtively. 1t was
rather hard work to talk to him,
because he could not hear, but
presently he told me that he cooked
| during the winters in lumber camp,
and then, with little encouragement,
he gave most interesting account of
the life. Then he incidentally men
toned the fact that he was on the
steamer the night of the great fire;
they had heard no news of the calamity,
and only learned of it when they came
within sight of the city. His passen-
gers were nearly all Chicago people; the
river was filled with debris, and they
could not land. There were no provis-
ions on board, and the people were help
| less in sight of their burning homes
In relating it he forgot all about his
clothes and himself, and it was one Of
the most dramatic narratives 1 have
| ever heard.
1t may generally be taken for granted
that good talker on general subjects
must be we'll informed, or willing to be
informed, and he must be observing
Another rule, both in writing and talk
ing, is the simpler the language the
better, You can generally distinguish
q real scientist from pseudo scientist,
for he avoids technicalities and tells
what he knows so clearly that child
of ten could comprehend him. Sum-
ming it up then, the art of conversing
we'll may be cultivated by drawing out
others, for one must be able to listen as
well as talk, talking only upon familiar
topics, unless there is desire to be in
formed, and stating facts or opinions as
simply and directly as they can be put