The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1890-01-29
HUMOR OF THE DAY.


1t is the scissors grinder who likes to
see things dull.
The Republic of Brazil deposes and
money disposes.
A clothes call-"Say, you heathen
Chinee isn't my washing done yet?'
Some Of these amateur singing So
cieties ought to come under the head of
bawl clubs. Boston Bulletin.
Some people look to posterity for vim
dication, thinking that posterity will not
have chance to find them out.-Judge.
Deaf mutes talk with their fingers;
but the most expressive of silent Ian
guages is heard when money talks. -
I'uct.
Dignity is becoming; but beware of
sticking your stomach out in the effort to
keep square shoulders, lest you become an
object of derision.
Wiggins-''Has Higgins settled down
any!" Gggins-"Ycs, l think he has
by this time; he's been buried about
three weeks. .n-EpocA.
When a man is young he thinks to re-
form the world, but when he gets older
he is quite satisfied if he is able to reform
himself. .--Atcdison GloJe.
Burglar-"You're getting fat. Don't
look as if business worried you much.
Pickpocket--"Oh,n no. | take things
easy Philaaelphia Inquirer.
sMv face, as well as yours, is my for
tune said the two-nosed freak at the
dime museum as he turned up one of his
olfactory organs at the Circassian beauty.
Angry Father-"Another tailor's bill,
I suppose. Well, what's to be done
about it?" Son (meeklO-"That's for
/ 7ou to settle. - Clothier and F'urnisher.
The urchin who sees the legend Paint
Can never pass 1t by
Without putting out his fingers
To see if the paint is dry.
/ There is one point in favor of the man
that laughs at his own jokes. You are
never in doubt as to whether he in
tended to be funuy.-Te,Te Haute Er-
press.
Hungry Guest-"Do you think | can
satisfy my appetite with such dinner as
this?' Waiter-"Of course not. What
extra dishes shall bring you?"-Tesas
srtiRgs.
Iratc Father-"You young rascal,
YOU; didn't | catch you making faces be
hind my back?' Young Hopeful
"Wcll, how was | to know you'd see
me"--JaFy,
eyes" said the dentist as he yanked
away at the tooth regardless of his
patients yells, "a man is bound to succeed
at his work, provided it is done with
sufficient pains"
Minnie-"They say that Mr.. Peck does
all of his own mending. Isn't that nice
for herr" Mamie-'I don't know. 1t
seems to me that | would rather have a
real man. "-7aTe HlUte Express.
The snobs who declare they are the cream of
The sIperlative few. the select of the race
Should remember the process that nature has
planned
Puts the cream and the scum in the very same
Chicago Herald.
Little Louise was told that her grand
mother had died and gone to heaven, and
was asked if she didn't want to be in
heaven with her. ''Well, replied the
little one, 81 would like to live with
grandma, but don't want to go so early. "
Boston Herald.
Il don't see how Mrs. McGay can af-
ford to wear so many tips on her hat.
There is a row of them all the way round
the brim." "AfTord it3 / woncer that
she hasn't the whole hat made of tips.
Her husband is hotel-waiter, you
know. .n-Jndgc.
"Some boarders, said the landlady in
an offended tone, "are hard to please. l
heard young Grape complaining of lack
of variety of food at the table this morn
ing, and | have hash five times a week.
That ought to be variety enough for
any man. n-Ne,c York Neles.
Mamma, where is my hatl" yelled
Tommy. Just where you left it, ~ re-
piled his mother. Tommy rubbed the
end of his nose for moment and then
SAID: mamma, if you won't tell me
where it is, won't you please tell me
where left itl'-HarpeT's Young People.