The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1890-08-14
PITH AND POINT.

An utter failure-Stammering.
A pair of dumb belles-Two sleeping
beauties.
A suit for damages-The one Johnnie
wears on week days.-Puek.
The old mare speaks to her colt in a
horse whisper. -Pittsburg chronicle.
Four rods make one rood, but one rod
can take the rudeness out of quito num-
ber.-Binghamton Leader. --
When a man forgets himself he usually
does something that makes Others re-
member him.-Atchison Globe.
This world is all feeting show,
And soon grim death will jerk US
But let's be happy as we go,
And all enjoy the circus.
Albany (GaD Ne,os.
"Gold will procure most OF the luxu-
ries," said the hardware man, ''but it
takes iron for the staples. ."-1erre Haute
Erpress.
"Say, Jack! I'll give you flyer if
you'll answer simple question right"
"Done." "Lend me tenner, will you"
-Harvard Lampoon.
Hanging a handle to his name gives
the impecunious foreigner much better
chance of being picked up by society,"
Terre Haute Espress.
"She Tilted me for that fellow Jim
when we were three days out from Liv
crpool." "Threw you overheard in mid
ocean! Barbarous!" !"-Hurper's Ba,ar.
At home room divided item,
SO timid then was Ella;
But on the sand they Sit--ahem!
Quite hid by one umbrella.
-FittsJur0 Bulletin.
Miss Plaingirl-;'E sometimes fear that
he doesn't love me; yet he kissed me
last night" Miss Prettypert-"Then
YOU may rest assured that he loves you."
-Ma0 York Sun"
Wicklrs-"They tell me, Professor,
that you have mastered all the modern
tongues" Professor Polyglot-"All but
two--my wife's and her mothers. y
Ttrre Haute Erpress.
Some go to the seashore and some to the
mountains,
Some 20 to the valley and some to the bay,
Some 60 to the woodland, some to the
prairie,
To eat fish and oatmeal at $3.50 day.
Statesman.
There are fears that the cracker trust
may have disastrous effect on clam
chowder. it has been the custom for
some years to serve that dish minus CLANS.
What will it be without crackers2-Bos-
ton Traueler.
Pastor-''I should like to see you TAX
ing more active interest in religious
things, Miss Bessie" Miss Bessie-"I
Pm afraid it wouldn't do, Mr.. Good
man. 1 couldn't be spared from the
choir. Chicago Tribune.
Senior Partner-':What. did that young
man want2" Junior-"He has just been
graduated from Harvard, and came IN
to see if we didn't want to take him into
the concern. He said he'd work year
without having his name on the sign"
-Me,o York Sun.
First Paris Artist-"Vy you put zat
salt in re paint2" Second Artist-"Eet
Is for a marine picture. l make re paint
salt; zen when re English put zair fingers
on re water and afterward put zair fingers
to zair lips, zay say, 'Eet is wonderful!
We almost taste re salt of re ocean, Zen
zay buy. "-L0ndon It-BitS
The Pittsburg Le,uler says that far
sighted miss of fourteen summers has de-
termincd to marry big man for her first
husband and little one for the second,
so that she can cut the clothes of the first
down and make them over for his sue
cessor. Thus the hard times force home
lessons of rigid economy and practical
sense upon tender childhood.
Fritz comes from school, takes his exer-
cise-books, and writes very busily.
Mamma (delighted)-"That is the right
way to do, my boy; that is the way to
get good marks. What exercise are you
writing2" Tho teacher said we must
all learn this poem thoroughly by to-
morrow morning or we should have to
COPY it, so 1 thought it would be better
to write it tonight. "-Fliengende BEaet-
ter.