davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-05-25
STORY OF A CHAMPION LIAR,
A Unique Character Who Could Not
Tell the Truth.
He Was Poet ss Well as q Professor Of
PseudOIOey, and His Lies Were Like
the Truth-An Experience With
Him In London-The Story
Told by His Victim

Stop right here, gentle reader, unless you
want to be deceived. This story is the story
Of liar. Although he has misled me, as
this narrative will plainly set forth, and
although his art of lying assumed, like
H3mlet's devil, "a most pleasing shape, "
and has almost, If not altogether, won me
over from the side of truth, 1 have still some
relics of honesty in my composition, and
urge YOU not to read further unless you are
prepared to be taken in.
Business called me to London last Spring,
and I was trying to hammer American
methods into British forms and shape
American ideas into phrases which would
suit the British mind. No easy task, L as
sure you. In a country where q wagon is a
van and Fall was never heard Of; where the
shopkeeper gasps for breath when an Amer
lean asks for Canton flannel, and thirteen
travelled representatives OF the house are
Nainly consulted on the subject because the
article is known there as 'swans-down
calico" where pie was never heard of and
tarts alone fill the aching void in the Amer
ican stomsch-under such circumstances my
task is not an easy one.
The Hebrews have a proverb, which, like
many of the popular forms OF expression,
tells a long history while it gives point to a
single thought. "When the tale of bricks
Is doubled Moses comes" So for every
necessity there is relief, and my Moses
was at the door.
1 was in no amiable mood when they
passed me an envelope enclosing note and
card. The card was thrown carelessly on
the desk. Printed matter in such form
rarely appeals TO anyone. Type was only
meant for the orscular columns of the news
paper. There alone it arrests attention.
The note began:
DEAR SIR-I beg to submit herewith a
few original couplets." Down went the
letter on the desk. 1t was the same old
story. 1 thought; some scribbler who has
failed in all his efforts on the press, and VINO
attempts to storm business men with his
miserable work. Tell hin" began tes-
tily-put before concluding the sentence 1
glanced at the card which lay before me. 1t
read as follows:
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-05-25
A NOVEL INVESTMENT.
STRANGE COMMERCIAL FAITH.
How Bread Cast Upon the Waters Of Trade
Comes Back After Many Days-Enormous
Investments in Modern Business
Methods. 'iWhafs in
Name7" Trade Marks
and Their Defense.

flour forefathers could look down on
modern business methods they would at the
first glance conclude that modern merchants
were as mad as March hares. After they
had become thoroughly acquainted with the
magnificent systems which are used by our
great railroad corporations and mammoth
trusts they would conclude that the age was
an age of magiclans, and not OF fools.
The machinery of business has kept pace
with the improved machinery of our mills.
Indeed, the merchant of to-day avails of no
little machinery in the conduct of his every
day Office work. Patented systems of copy
ing, of duplicating, wonderful letter files,
and hundreds of neat aids to Office work
have multiplied very fast during the past
few years and within the last month. The
graphophone has gone into active use in
business offices, so that the merchant can
dictate all his correspondence to a machine
which records it on Il wax-coated cylinder,
from which, at later hour. the typewriter
can reproduce it for the mail.
The marvellous developments of modern
business show more strongly in the matter
of advertising than in most other branches.
Vast sums of money are apparently thrown
away in this direction. When a great COM
mercial house spends two hundred thousand
dollars during a single year in newspaper
advertising, there is nothing in the inven-
tory at the close of the year which will
represent the outlay. The papers have been
printed, distributed, read and again re-
duced to pulp in the paper mill, while the
merchants good money has been paid to the
publishers. Prudent men, even Of the pres
ent generation, hardly comprehend it.
Thousands shake their heads, and invest
their own money in bricks and mortar
feeling assured that they can depend on
which to them seems visionary.
A true philosopher of the olden time put
over his door the legend: "Things invisible
deceive not" The bankers and builders of
his day sneered at him as they counted their
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-05-25
QUAINT PROVERBS.

Out of the proverbs of Sapolio-whict
number over three hundred-we publish to.
Gay the following as quaint specimens:
"Dirt in the house builds the highway tc
beggary." Be wise in time and use Sapolio.
1t is solid cake OF Securing Soap. Try ii
in your next housekeeping.
GA bright home makes a merry heart. "
Joy travels along with Sapolio. 1t is q solid
cake Of Securing Soap. Try it in your next
housecleaning.
"Well-bred, soon We'd" Girls who use
Sapolio are quickly married. Sapolio is a
solid cake OF Securing Soap used for all
cleaning purposes except the laundry. Try
it.
'He is fool who makes a wedge of his
fist" Yet such ridiculous things are done
every day. Think, for instance, of attempt
ing 10 clean house without Sapolio.
IA holy habit cleanseth not foul soul, 4"
and no amount OF good manners. high birth
or finished education will make dirty house.
keeping endurable. All three say use
Sapolio."
'If things we're to be done twice all would
be wise, and every housekeeper who tries
housekeeping without Sapolio comes to the
same conclusion. Try a cake.
"Wheat is cleaned with wind and the soul
Will Uub muse sQOulQ De
cleaned with Sapolio to bring it to perfec-
ton. Try a cake.
Labors about the house done by Sapolio
are like good sermons, short and sweet.
Sapolio is a solid cake of Securing Soap
used for all cleaning purposes, except the
laundry.
''Sloth is the key to poverty" Don't be
too lazy to clean the house, but if you are,
try Sapolio. 1t is solid cake of Securing
Soap.
"A dirty house creates a strife
Between the good man and his WIFE"
To secure peace use Sapolio. It is solid
cake OF Securing Soap. Try it.
''He is, indeed, friend who speaks well
Of us behind our backs" Present or absent
your house will praise you if you use Sapo-
lilo. Try it in your next housecleaning.
"a good thing is soon snatched up" The
rapid sales of Sapolio need surprise no one.
Sapolio is solid cake of Securing Soap that
works wonders.
"a disease known is half cured" If your
house is dirty buy cake of Sapolio. 1t is
solid cake OF Securing Soap used for all
cleaning purposes except the laundry.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-05-25
And my language is plain,
That to take out a mark
Or remove any stain

And my language is plain,
That to take out a mark
Or remove any stain
SAPOLIO has not an equal,
Which the same l shall always maintain.
Like the little boy who was offered the
big red apple, I burst out crying and took it.
Once more we expostulated, Unless we
used these productions to paper the Office
wall or to offer as prizes with every cake Of
our goods-a thing abhorrentto us as bust
ness method-we could see no outlet for the
accumulatlng mass. We urged him TO chain
Pegasus, and he assured us with every evil
dence of good faith, that the very money
which we were then paying him would be
promptly invested In q COW chain OF the
most approved Birmingham make.
For week we bresthed freely, and then
the familiar handwriting told us:
my friend the artist may call upon you
with sketch. Don't break the window with
him it he does. He thinks lot of his pict-
ures-but TO err is human
Under cover of this jocularity at his
friends expense, in spite of his assurances
to the contrary, he enclosed parody on
"Ye Mariners of England" OF which he
said: Herewith 1 forward 'Ye Matrons of
Old England at least quite as many of
them as an average human being cares for
at once. They have been made to follow
carefully in the footsteps of their time-hon-
ored ancestors 'Ye Mariners of England
and the song and meter are in this country
as familiar to the ear as household words
worth. 1 will call in an hour, my lie-abili-
ties are greater than everl"
Once more / succumbed. But this time
with an inward chuckle. NV passage had
been engaged by the next weeks steamer.
In the land of the free would find relief
from the pen of the Champion Liar. Ihave
met many men who were hard up-have
even known that distressing condition my
self-but the whole range of my experience
shows nothing to compare with the Profess
sor's condition. But Providence tempers
the wind to the shorn lamb, and whenever
his pocket was empty an idea flashed into
his brain. He called to say that he was
tired of parodies. Would like something
before left England which would be pure
ly original2 Did 1 think him capable of
producing something? I assured him 1
thought him capable of anything. The
next day he handed me the following verse,
which contains q very beautiful sentiment,
and proves him to be poet as we'll as pro-
fessor of psychology:
Oh, Womanl In our hours Of ease,
Uncertain, coy, and hard to please,
And variable as the shade
By the light quivering aspen made;
Yet in your house you well do know
The value of SAPOLlOi
Accompanying this was the following:
ON LEAVING TOWN.
Maid Of England, ere We part,
Lay this counsel to thy heart;
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-05-25

are true and firm, while in times which try
the souls of men the feeble and vaeillating
ones are swept aside as by q plague. Ar
mold OF Winkelrled was a private soldier,
but his brave act in burying dozen spears
in his own breast to make way for his fel-
low soldiers won him deserved immor-
tality. Bunyan's simple but heart-told
story surpasses in wide publicity any liter
ary effort of the greatest of scholars. The
simplest articles have built up the greatest
trade successes. 1t was q farmer who was
kindly trying to amuse his little children
who invented the now-famous "Pigs in
Clover" and it paid him better than gold
mine. But as an instance of solid success
builtu bv honest means, used to popular
ize a simple but original article, Sapolio
gives us a capital illustration. 1t is a solid
cake of securing soap, but it is the best
of its kind. It's manufacturers have
never altered or neglected its quality.
1t is an article naturally of moderate con-
sumption, but it is used everywhere. Not
in the United States only-where from Cal
iiornia to Maine, it is a household word
but in India, China and japan, in Aus
tralia and all the countries of South Amer
ics, 1t marks the progress of civilization by
its mere presence. Its travelling salesmen
can claim, in common with itself, that they
scour the world. The methods used in con-
ducting its vast business, rival in careful
consideration the conduct of enterprises ap-
parently more important, but the secret of
its success is that no honest method Of OBJ
tanning and retaining public attention is
neglected. Look at the simple little cake of
Sapolio. lying half used, perhaps, on the
kitchen sink, and try to realize that the sun
never sets on its sales. Consider that it cost
you but lew cents, although its manufac-
turers spend hundreds of thousands in ad-
vertising it TO the millions whom they wish
to remind. It is like fairy tale. Aladdin
rubbed his lamp to no better purpose than
the public does Sapolio, for. as a universal
servant, its services are without measure,
and its worth brings back golden returns to
its owner.
How has such wide popularity been OBJ
tanned? By original merit and patient per-
severence. Probably the most interesting
side of the story lies In the well-known ad-
vertising which has been used. We can re-
veal some OF its methods. Its advertising
department is presided over by man who
talks proverbs at break fast, dinner and sup
per, and twists them to fit Sapolio while the
rest of the world sleeps. An artist is en-
ployed by the year, although countless
sketches and ideas are contributed by out
siders. Poets-not mere rbymsters-are paid
to tell its merits in original verses, and the
most novel schemes are made use of to at
tract attention. Two hundred and fifty
thousand boxes of dominoes were sent out
last year. Japan furnished twenty thou
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-05-25

ure or to drag out q proftless existence
through few years. The public is too dis
eriminating to buy an inferior article on
the assertion that it sis just as good as
Sapolio."
The man who attempts to deceive by imi-
tating the name or appearance Of another
mans goods is q selfproclaimed liar, and
however general the vice of falsehood may
be, it is fact that even liars have no SYM
pathy for one of their kind. The public
asks no better proof OF inferiority than that
the goods are pushed forward under the
cover of better reputation, and the Cham
Der of Horrors in the Sapolio building tells
in plain terms how the public recognizes
and despises such attempts.
1t is not an empty faith or visionary spec
ulation that leads these well-known manu-
facturers to expend hundreds of thousands
Of dollars in constantly reminding the world
of Sapolio. Years of intimate acquaintance
have taught them that the public knows q
good article and is willing to pay for it; that
the market for fine goods, whether it be but
ter or fruits, or laces or diamonds, yes, or
good securing soap, is never glutted. They
have become intimate with the people. Sa-
polio is q household word, always spoken
with good will, as If it were a familiar
friend. The thousands who pass by the Sun
building on their way to and from the
Brooklyn bridge, look up with a smile as
tney recognize the great sign which now
oVerhangs the ruins of French's Hotel, and
say: There it is again." when they recog-
nlze the seven letters arranged under the
seven days of the week, with the brief state
ment that "if used every week day it brings
rest on Sunday" The great white wall
looks as though it had been cleaned with
Sapolio, and a verse underneath gives the
comforting assurance that
This world is all feeting show,
For mans illusion given;
But woman, with SapoIio,
Can make that show a heaven.
Poets, artists, designers, clever writer's,
many Of whom would not condescend to
touch on trade topics in an ordinary way, do
not hesitate to set forth the merits of Sapo-
lilo. It is simple solid cake of securing
soap, but the sun never sets upon its sale.
From New York to San Francisco it is
found in every household, tightening the
housewives care, and, like the great men of
the world, wasting itself to make everything
around it brighter. In Honolulu, Naga-
saki, Shanghai, Bombay, Ceylon, Calcutta
and Ale1andris, it forms chain which
binds the West of civilization with its East
ern edge; while over Australasia the African
colonies and the countries of South Africa,
its sales are very extensive.
This slight record OF its successes and
systems is good proof of the value of
modern advertising, and we have coupled
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-05-25
Though the CRIME may vex thee sore,
Settling over wall and floor,

Though the CRIME may vex thee sore,
Settling over wall and floor,
You relief from toll may know
II you use SAPOLIOl
By these pans so clean and bright,
BY this paint a shining sight,
BY the door as white as milk,
BY that hearthstone smooth as silk,
Buy the soap that keeps them So
Always use SAPOLlO.
Maid of England, am gone,
Think of this when left alone;
Though fly to beach or hill
Let my warning haunt thee still,
Can cease to love thee? Mol
So thou use SAPOLIO.
Both of these he assured me on his honor
as gentleman were purely original, and
l paid for them on that representation.
am at home now, where 1 fondlv sup
posed that would be free from the entan-
Cling acquaintance which 1 formed in Lon
don. Far from it. Every steamer which
arrives brings proof that my prosecutor
still lives. I tried to keep record of them
as follows:
Aug. D.....................By By the "Urnbrfd.'
A wealthy young man had yacht
Disngured with many a spacht;
Sapolto he tried,
Which, as soon as applied,
Immediately took out the lachtI
Aug. H....................By By the "Etrurta." )"
Our girl DER the housework would sigh.
Till Sapolio urged her to trigh;
Now she changes her tune.
For she's done work at nune,
Which accounts for the light in her eigh!
dug A.....................Per Per "City Of Rome"
There's many domestic imbroglio,
To describe whie b would need quito foglie,
Might oft be prevented
If the housewife consented
To clean out the house with SapogIio.
Sept l.................... pSd steamer Celtic"
Maria's poor fingers would ache
But her pains were allayed
When Sapolio's sid
Her labor quite easy did mache!
Sept s. ... Per North German Lloyd "Aller."
We have heard of some marvellous soaps,
Whose worth has exceeded our hoaps;
But it must be contest
That Sapolio's the best,
For with grease spots it easily coaps.
Sept B Per LA Bour1oone."
The wife of a popular Colonel,
Whose troubles with helps" were etolonel,
Now her leisure enjoys,
For the new giIp' employs
Sapolio in housework diolonel
May S.....................Per Per City Of Parts"
The servant went off in pique
A new situation to siQue
As the mistress declined
Some Sapolio to find
But she sent for her back in wiQue.
have abandoned hope. I see my error
clearly now. Regardless of proper princi-
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-05-25

it with some facts relating to the disasters
of those who have not followed the broad
theory of advertising and created name
and reputation for something distinctively
their own, because we would not, by paint
ing a tempting picture of success, lure
thoughtless people to make the mistake of
supposing that servile imitation would lead
them to the same thing. Josh Billings
shrewdly covers the ground: "Never oppose
a success. When see rattlesnake's head
sticking out of a hole, I say that hole be-
longs to that snake, and 60 about my busi-
ness"
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-05-25
cOrrOboration OF his frankness and honesty.

corroboration OF his frankness and honesty.
We believed him.
That week had not ended before the fol-
lowing note was handed in: "I have perpe-
trated another crime and enclose it, but
shall get out of gunshot for half an hour
until YOU have become reconciled to it
When return at 10:15 would like either
SO or ten years, which ever you think the
most suitable reward.
The inclosure was longer than the rest:
mot "HEATHEN CHINEE."
With apologies to Bret Harts.
While wish to remark,
And my language is plain,
That to take out mark
Or remove any stain,
SAPOLI0 is quite peculiar,
Which the same would rise to explain.
Ann Jane was the name
Of a servant we had,
And good girl the same.
Though her language was bad;
For TO see her weep ovcr her cleaning
Was sight most affecting ana sad.
She would toll day and night
Would this plucky Ann Jane,
Just to keep the house quite
Free from blemish or stain,
And she tried all the soaps in creation;
But alasl it was labor in vain.
She went shopping one day
Atmv express command,
And returned home so gay
could not understand.
But smiled when 1 saw she'd a cake Of
SAPOLIO clasped in her hand.
Then she tucked up her sleeves
And caught up a small tub
AS she murmured, "lt grievesme
To labor and scrub.
Rnt thew tell me this Is the boss cleaner"
In response said, Aye. there's the rub"
On the oilcloth stain,
Which had been there for years,
At the touch of Ann Jane
Now at once disappears,
While from mantelpiece, tlnware, and table
Ey'ry spot stain, and blemish she clearsl
Then looked at Ann Jane,
And she gazed upon me,
And she said at is plain
That in this you'll agree
I've been wasting my time and my LABOR
By not using SAPOLlO, you see."
In the scene that ensued
did not take hand,
But the backward was strewd
Like the shells of the strand,
With the SOAPS which Ann Jane had been using
Ere she heard of SAPOLlO grand.
Now her copper and brass
Shine as bright as the sun,
And for her lOoking-glass
Often duty have DONE
Which the same is a pleasing rejection
Aad meant in more sense than one.
Which is why remark,
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-05-25
THE MONOGRAM U. 8.

There is little monogram
We see wherever we go;
1t offers us protection
Against a foreign foe.
It stands for light and progress
In every foreign cline.
And its glory and its greatness
Are the themes Of many rhyme.
But few have ever really known,
And few would ever guess
What our country means by marking
All her chattels with U. s.;
1t may stand for United States,
Or yet tor Uncle Sam;
But there's still another meaning
To this simple monogram.
We see it on our bonds and bills
And on our postal cards;
1t decorates our Capitol,
Shadowed by Stripes and Stars.
In all our barracks, posts and forts
1t plays a leading part,
And the jolly sailor loves 1t
And enshrines it in his heart.
Now, have you guessed the message
Which these mystic letters bearf
Or recognized the untold good
They're spreading everyWheref
Echo the joyful tidiugs,
And let the people know
That the U. g. of our nation means
We-Use Sapolio.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-05-25

Don't you want friend who would
take half your hard work off your shoulders
and do it without murmur? What would
you give to find an assistant in your house
work that would keep your floors and walls
clean. and your kitchen bright, and yet
never grow ugly over the matter of hard
work? Sapoiia is just such friend, and
can be bought at all grocers.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-05-25
sand feathered owls and fifty thousand puz-
zles. besides thousands of hand-painted

sand feathered owls and fifty thousand puz-
zles, besides thousands of hand-painted
panels.
Domestic puzzles passed away long age, but
not until millions of them had been used.
Pamphlets are printed in vast numbers, and
the famous Sapolio alphabet has already
reached its tenth million. Five hundred
dollars will rent large farm, but 1t goes to
pay for one-half page insertion In daily
paper. Yes, one thousand dollars has been
paid for a single column in weekly paper,
but, of course, the circulation, like the con-
sumption of Sapolio, was enormous. Bolo
methods they may well be called when over
two thousand dollars is paid for the rental OF
ore sign on the most prominent building IN
America. As odd methods we may mention
the employment of an advertising orator
who made stump speeches in all the princi-
pal cities aud the posting OF signs readlng
"Keep off the Grass" on all the snow banks
in New York after its great blizzard. But
our readers know only too we'll how
thoroughly it is advertised. Every city,
town and railroad is decorated with signs;
the magazines publish its pictures; the
street cars are enlivened by its proverbs; the
newspapers continually remind the public
OF its merits. But even if it was not so
prominent in its own behalf. the dozens of
imitators who try to impose their wares on
the public as "Just as good as sapolio,"
would prove to the world that it was the
standard.
Who can read the bright verses which tell
us how to make this world brighter without
the tribute of smile? Who can glance at
their pictures without admitting that adver-
tising is an art itself? We have not room
for many, but feel that this article would be
incomplete without some specimens of
them.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-05-25

The old ruts and old methods are not the
easiest by lar. Many people travel them be-
cause they have not tried the better way. 1t
is relief from sort OF slavery to break
away from old-fashioned methods and adopt
the labor-saving and strength-sparing in
yentions of modern times. Get out Of old
rnts and into new ways by using Q cake Of
sAPOLIO in your housecleaning.