Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1890-12-06

straight line until IL Is ldtll. -bth9tet"tto"
Ledder.
..TM glad your husband drinks no more
one said; the other sighed
what made him quit?" asked number
one. Said number two, che died
Chicago Post.
HORSES are like eggs. 1t is impossible
10 tell what is in them until they are
brOken.-BostOn Irdceter.
Mr.. PARNEIL is not a sailor, but he
knows something about OSheanlc dls-
turbances.- Washington Star.
WnEN "whaling bark is spok ken OF.
we suppose it comes from birch tree
Boston Commercial Bulletin.
''TuosE ready made clothes OF yours
seem to bristle with Indignation"
Eyes, they are eager for the fray, p
Puck.
WNrrs-''The law in this state gives
the widow her third, doesn't 1t -
Potts-''Not until she has got rid Of
the second. "-Etchdnge
A POET SAYS that a baby is "a new
wave on the ocean Of life" 1t strikes
us that "a fresh squall' would express
the idea better.-Bost0h Gazette.
A BOY of II and girl Of Is were mar
ried at Columbus, Mo-, the other day.
The wedding presents included doll
and wooded gun Utica Herdld.
FIRST NET-'|Was you shot at Bull
RUM
Second Net-::No;I was on the dead
run when shot .A'-Nc,r York Herald.
THE lettcr-carrier isn't much of an
orator. perhaps, but he delivers a great
MANY addresses-I| Washington Post. =
GLOW strange it is, " remarked Gibbs,
''that taking a day off now and then
tends to lengthen mans life instead of
shortening it. "-BOaon HerG(d.
MRS. BING0-'I noticed there was a
rent in your trousers this morning"
Mr. Bingo-"Th Heaven Give it
to the landlord when he comes. -
CI0thier.
TIE Clean toothpick factory, the larg-
est in the United States, was burned
on Saturday SO close to Thanksgiving
dinner time, it is a national loss.-PhI0-
delphio Record.
lr is significant fact that the editor-
al "we' occurs with the greatest fire.
quency in those papers which are al
ways shrieking for more cord-Wood.-
K0aSas City star.
FATnER-''Did you break this vase"
.Johnny-"Ee father; | can't lie"
Father-'I Indeed! Well, you won't
be able to sit, either, when | am done
VIII you. Come along 10 luc "ool-
shed. "-NeW York Heraid.
"DlD you ever hear of such thing?
Begumb saws in his new house he's 60
ing to have his attic in his cellar. ''Oh,
that story won't go down. '-Puck.
"EluMpur' sneered the ass as he en-
countered.the zebra. "You look like an
escaped convict Possibly" retorted
the zebra. "But no one ever takes me
rnr on oCC s. 9,r IorE Suil
SMAIA. BoY-"Pa, why does that young
man wear an eyeglass on only one
eyC?"
Pa-''So he can use the other eye to
see with "-NeW York Weekly.
HE-''Darling, | Just want one kiss"
She (indignantlv)-"I If that's all you
want you shan't have it."-Ne~ York
HerUld.
FIRST FARMEE-''I raised a fine crop
of wheat this year, and lots of potatoes
and cabbages."
Second Farmer-"Wen, 7 did better
than that | raised $4,000 mortgage. F"
- est Shore.
"WHAT's the matter with YOU to-day
Tommy? You seem to be uneasy
Il am" said the bad little boy. ~ es-
terday was pas and mas wooden we'd
ding, and all the neighbors sent 'em
SlllUSltS. -ACH ORR sun.
BRowN--"I see by the papers that the
latest is cat doctor. Now his patients
have some show" Mrs Brown-"How
is that, my dear?" Brown Because
they have nine lives. -Mutseys Weekly.
JuDGE-"Io robbed your benetactor
in Il most shameful way. DO you feel
no compunctions of conscience "' De-
PENDANT e Before answering, sir. /
would like to consult my counsel. =
Boston Gazette
The GIRL OF THE PERIoD-Isabel-
What an awfuliy shoddy girl Gene
We've Flyaway is Everything about
her has the air of being marked down"
May-"Ges, even her age. "-Hdrper's
Bdsdr.
AT the skating pond-"The entrance
is 80 pennies, my boy, and You have
given me only Is
ooh, yes, | know, but that is all |
have, and | have brought only one of
of my skates. -FUegende Blater.
BRooMTowN CIrIzEN-''O, we have a
fine class of citizens here Our Jail is
empty and has been for month"
Nisitor-"Ges, | have judged from
the gangs | have seen around the sa-
looms that your jail was either empty
or SO full it could rot hold any more
Indianapolis Journal.
Miss LAuRA--"Oh dear, we're m
vited to Thanksgiving dinner at the
Beaumonde's and Eve nothing to
wear.
Pater-''Great Jupiter, girl, what's
the matter with that Worth costume in
''Gobelin blue" that | just paid for?
That will match the turkey, won't it >"