The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1890-01-24
AT THE COUNTY FAIR.
UNCLE DoOLEY GOES AND MAKES
SOME OBSERVATIONS.

The Deacon and His ~yanquished Squash.
The Small Urchin Is on Hand, as Usual,
and the Chap with the Trick to Catch
the Gudgeons Is Also There.
The first acquaintance ! met at the
Sagadahoc fair was Deacon Dudley. II
he had owned the grounds and held q
mortgage on the building and its con-
tents, he could not have appeared better
satisfied.
"Walk right in," was his hospitable
greeting as I approached the entrance.
"I've got the biggest curiosity ever shown
in the county, and I want you to see it
before the crowd gathers. I raised it
myself" he explained, "from seed sent
by my wife's brother from California.
You'll get some idea of its length when
I tell you that I brought it here in a box
three feet and a half long. / packed it
in hay, SOS to keep it from %scarin', and
when l took it out twas smooth as a
smelt and shiny as a glass bottle"
By this time we had reached the farm
produce department, and the geacon's
tongue and legs came to q standstill to-
gether. I asked the name of the wonder
he had described.
"Well, he replied, scratching his head
p~erplexedly, sit was asquash-the long
est I ever saw-but what shape it's in
now, or where it's gone, is more'n 1
know. I left it right here, with my
name tackled to it. You hold ON a min
ute, while I hunt up the committee and
see if anybody responsible for property
left in this ere buildin'.
The good man disappeared, and for
half an hour l scarcely stirred from my
tracks. At last I grew tired of waiting,
and yentured to move about with the
rest of the folks. Growing holder by
degree, I finally drifted with the crowd
outside the hall, and in the course of an
hour or two I forgot all about Deacon
Dudley and the missing squash.
1t was late in the afternoon when I
met my friend in the n~eighborhood of
the sheep pens. AT the sight of him my
conscience smote me, and with genuine
solicitude I asked if he had found his
treasure.
The deacon looked rather foolish as he
said: ST suppose you mean the squash.
Oh, that's all right. They'd moved it to
another place. Twas no great matter,
any way"
AS he seemed much embarrassed, and
turned away without urging me to ex-
anime the specimen, I determined to
seek it out without waiting for any fur
Their invitation. When I had found it, I
was at no loss to account for my friends
confusion. By the side of his squash
which really was Of remarkable length
lay another squash atleast eight inches
longer.
/ strolled across the grounds, when a
sound as of some one beating a carpet
caught my ear. The noise was occa-
stoned by a big boy who was pounding
a small urchin on the back.
"What's the matter::' asked a gentle
man whose attention was attracted by
the disturbance.
ST guy him a lobster leg to suck, an
he went an swallered it" said the big
boy. ssSpit it out" he yelled, as he re-
newed the blows.
Three men, loaded to the muzzle with
advice, hastily joined the group. 'Pinch
his windpipe," suggested the first.
"Hold him up by the heels" counseled
the second. .'Thump him harder" ad-
vised the third.
Before either suggestion could be act
ed upon, the gentleman who had been
poking the sandy soil with his can ex-
claimed: "What's this?:o
1t was a Holsters leg, bearing unmis-
taxable marks of youthful teeth.
The big boy rested from his labor and
the little one Strengthened himself pain
fully.
81 tole yer I dropped it," he said re-
~proachfully, pointing to the fragment in
the sand.
Sauntering up to q counter at one of
the booths, a distinguished looking
stranger began toying with a common
black bottle.
"You wouldn't believe I could put
man on these grounds, would you?" he
asked carelessly.
A handful of %rustics, gathered in front
of the place, gazed at the speaker incred-
ulously. II wouldn't, that's a fact" one
of them remarked, knowingly.
Sand yet" resumed the stranger, 81
am ready to bet twenty dollars hat l
can do it."
Upon hearing this statement your I'M
Gle edged away, while the knowing fell
low stepped briskly to the front. "You
say you'll bet twenty dollars On it," he
remarked in a voice trembling with ex-
element.
"That's what l said"
"Le'me see that bottle" demanded the
seeker after knowledge.
The bottle wa passed among the
crowd, and after due examination was
pronounced worthy of confidence. After
much discussion of ways and means,
interested parties formed a syndicate
with a capital of S., which sum was in
stantly covered by the stranger. An in
dividual, presumably disin~terested, was
chosen to hold the stakes, and the know
ing chap was appointed to fill the bottle.
Having turned in water till the vessel
was running over, he remarked with q
grin:
There, I guess she's bout as full as
she can hold. II you can crowd any
more water into her, mister, go ahead"
Without saying a word the business
like stranger proceeded to cork the bottle
| TIGHTLY