The Meridional. (Abbeville, La.) 1856-1906, 1890-05-31
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Woman is the female Of man; SO
called because it is woe man who
fools with her. After man came
woman. Woman is frst in all
things, though man was created
first.
Woman was made from the rib
of man, hence we always have a
| tender feeling for the opposite sex
lin the locality Of that borrowed
rib.
Woman was the list fruit raiser
She raised the forbidden crab ap
pie to Adams lips. She likewise
raised Cain--and has been raising
it ever since.
Woman in her private state was
o naughty girl, and on too intimate
terms Of friendship with the devil.
But one thing must be said in her
favor-she never "wore the breech
es." Neither did she wear the six
button nor the French heel shoes.
The fall of man" occurred in
the spring of the year--in green
apple time. This was the turning
point in the history OF the world
and it has been turning ever since.
If Adam had not been the weak
kneed, hen-peckod husband that he
was he would have given Eve a new
spring bonnet to crafty her whims,
instead of gorging himself with the
forbidden fruit. Then we poor
mortals would not be roaming up
and down the earth in single bless.
edness. seeking some one to sew on
our breeches buttons.
Woman is a delusion and sham
first cousin to a pillow; at least
she looks like one. She is a sdelu
sion, because some man runs after
her all hes life with as.littIe hopes
in-catching her as if he we're trying
to catch postmastership under
Harrison's administration.
Woman is called q duck, while.
manis called a goose. The reason.
is obvious to blind man. OF all.
tile dearest creatures in the world,
woman is the dearest-to dress.
But she is handy to have about the
house. This world would be o.
dreary old waste without woman.
In fact, we don't think it would be-
much Of world anyway.
Woman is a mystery--a puzzle
that cannot be solved; but we'll,
never giveber MP. She is never
the same two minutes in her life.
To-day she is all perfection, and
tomorrow she is all Grabbed and
cross, and as ugly as q brush fence.
They are the biggest frauds and
humbugs in the world, but God
bless their sweet existence, we men
folks like TO be humhugged by them
We can't help ii. The sweet smiles
and winning ways of lovely women
are irresistible. They draw us
unconscionsly to them and hold US
captive at their own sweet will.
But we (that I myself, individuality.
have never been captured by one
though if we were ordered to surren.
der we would throw no our hands
withonta single shot being fred.
The smell of powder knocks all the
sand out of our craw.
Woman is called jewel. We
don't own any Of the fashy iewelry
called woman, neither are we bossed
BY one. Our relationship to her IS.
very close, however. Our mother
was a woman. We once had a
sweetheart that was woman, but
we could never persuade her to be.
come a married one.
Woman is the author of more
that is good and holy than all the
men that were hung. But as the
same time she is the cause of one.
half the suicides and murders that
occur all over the country. And
in all scandals, divorce cases and
love affairs, there is almost always
q woman connected with it. But
We suppose the poor creatures are
not responsible for that.
With all this, to her honor, be
it said, she is the first in all good
work-of tongues. She is also the
first TO he'd, the first to rise, and
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