davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-02-27
Josh Billings Philosophy.

New York World
If va want tew be good, all yu hav
tew do IL tew obey God, luv man, and
hate the devil.
Politeness liz the cheapest Investment
l kno 0v: it il like lighting another
mans handle bl yours.
l rather admire the insolent ciyility
ov bull-tarrier, who only groWlS when
l pass by him: but l never did like it in
man.
TO be q good critic requires moro
brains and Judgment than most men
possess.
1t requires moro good Judgment to
know when tew talk than what teW
say.
The reason viii comik iektering il so
hard tew do. liz bekauze most people go
teW bear it out oy kurioSity, and kuri-
osity IL the hardest kind ov a thing few
suit.
Good books. mi dear, are the best
friends VII kan hay; they never. will
cloy, and never will betray yu.
A eomplasent man makes every boldly
pleaZed with him, and. what IL more,
pleazed with themselfs.
If we couldn't neither Iaff nor kry,
what miserable kritters We should be.
l wouldn't undertake tew korrekt a
mans Sektarlan views emmy quicker
than would tell him which road to take
at q corners, when | didn't know
miself which road waz the right one.
When man gifts so low down that he
liz willing tew be despized he has
touched bottom.
After all, great conversational pow
eTs make a man more feared than be-
loved
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-02-27

to take only reasonable profits, but they
would do larger business, and add to
the value of the local market of the farm
or as well as sell him cheaper goods.
An illustration is afforded in cotton
aud wool. A recent traveller says he
met American cotton goods in India,
China and Japan, and saw caravans
loaded with them enter Pekin; and the
manufacturers are rather more than
reasonably prosperous. But the tray
eler nowhere saw any wooden goods
made in this country, and the manufact-
urerS are pushed to the wall by the
cost Of the raw material they are forced
to buy abroad to mix with the same arti-
ticles. A New Haven manufacturer of
hardware, who is one of the most eX-
teEsive in the world, and who has trav-
eled over Europe to investigate the
business situation, says of the matter:
MY observation has taught me that
the great obstacle to American competi-
ton in foreign markets in nearly every
class of goods is the high price of our
raw materials. Take off the duty and
we will send our goods everywhere.
Wages would increase here under such
a system. The cost of freight between
England and this country would amply
protect the American workingmen
against European labor, even if there
were anything to be feared on that
score, which l do not believe.
IF American manufacturers could
have raw material free, in five years no
one would think of asking for protec-
ton in anything. Our goods would be
found in abundance in every market.
Our workmen would find improving OPP
Bortunities, chances to live more
cheaply, to earn more money, to save
more, to get ahead in the world faster,
to enjoy more comforts and to improve
in education"
In the case of wool it is not believed
the home grower Will get less for his
product il the duty is taken off the for
eign wool, which is mainly of a char.
acter that cannot be grown or is not
profitable to grow in this country. As
it is, great part of the mills are closed
and the demand for the farmers wool
lessened. One Of the suggestions of the
Ohio editor to the Dakota farmer is to
raise more sheep and diversity his pro-
auctions. That is familiar, but good
advice. 1t is, however, rather local
expedient than otherwise. The demand
will incite the production of all articles
that can be grown in the soil and eli
mate to advantage, but it is constantly
becoming more arduous task to Undue
intelligent farmers with the partisan
docility required by the protectionists.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-02-27
APHORISMS.

The mind should be allowed to dwell
only on thoughts that are happy, salts
Tying or perfect. Happy thoughts! We
nave them when we expect them, and
are In state to receive them.--Joubert.
Ii man does not make new friend
SfllpS as he advances through life he
will soon find himself left alone. A
man should keep his friendships in con-
slant repair.-Johnson.
Adversely is the trial Of principle.
Without it a man hardly knows whether
ne Is honest or n0t.-Fielding.
To be angry is to revenge the fault
OF others upon ourselves.-Pope.
He is happy whose circumstances suit
MS temper; but he is more excellent
who can suit his temper to any eireum-
stances. Hume.
In private conversation between
friends the WiseSt men very often talk
IKE the weakest; for, indeed, the talk
me OF a frind is nothing else but think
Ing aloud.-Addison.
Extremes meet in almost everything:
1t Is hard to tell whether the statesman
at the top OF the world, or the plOWman
at the bottom, labors hardest Frank
lin.
A fresh mind keeps the body fresh.
Take in the ideas of the day, drain off
those OF yesterday.-Bulwer Lytton.
A little nonsense now and then,
Is rellshed by the wisest men.
Oliver Wendell Holmes.
Oft the cloud that wraps the present
hour serves but to brighten all our
future days.-William Browne.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-02-27
A QUEER PasTIME.
He Enjoyed Breaking Toy. Bal
looms With Fine Shot.

He Enjoyed Breaking Toy Bal
looms With Fine Shot.
San Francisco Examiner.
Yesterday afternoon peddIer of toy
balloons took advantage of the brief
vacation which Jupiter Pluvius had
taken, and appeared on Kearney street
with an enlarged holiday stock of red,
white and blue inflated toys which
children cry for and mothers hate to
see. He took a station at the
corner of Kearney and Post
streets, blowing a squeaker to at
tract attention. Suddenly one Of the in
fiated rubber things collapsed with a
snap. The dealer evidently didn't know
what TO make of it. He looked up and
down and all around, but there was no
apparent cause for the collapse of so
much of his stock in trade. He swore a
little in the soft Italian tongue, and
then resumed his squeaker. PopI went
another balloon, and they kept popping
until nearly half his stock was gone.
Then the itinerant moved slowly away.
and less frequent, and finally it ceased
altogether. In about three minutes
Withholding young man approached the
dealer and asked:
''Well. old man, what's the damage?''
The dealer eyed him with blank
amazement, but was finally given to
understand that his questioner wished
to know the value of the balloons which
had popped away their value. He esti-
mated hurriedly that twenty of the toys,
worth ten cents apiece, had vanished
into thin air.
The young man thrust So into the
had been popping bird-shot through the
expanded rubber with a Slug. 1t was
his way of having fun, and he was will
ing 10 pay for it.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-02-27
A LAUGH FOR ALL.

Skating is very healthy exercise. 1t
not only puts in play ali the muscles of
the legs and arms, but it creates bumps
on the head for future pbrenologists to
feel and report on.-Exchange.
A You are SO modest don't see how
you ever came to propose to your wife.
B.-That was very simple. I said
nothing and she said nothing, and so
one word brought on another.-Texas
Siftings.
"What wonderful age of invention
it is, said Mrs. Peterson; Il see they
are now making wire cloth and I'll
have some this very week to put a seat
in Johnny's everyday pants. "-Mer-
chant Traveller.
Professor Twenty million wears
hence the sun will give neither light
nor heat.
Wicked Student-Weli. don't know
about the light. but don't think you'll
need the heat.-Washington Star.
DR.. Cockshure-My good sir. what
you want is thorough alteration of eli
mate. The only thing to cure Won is
long sea voyage.
Patient-That's rather ineonyenient.
You see, I'm only just home from sea
voyage around the world.-London
Punch.
Small Boy-Say, Billy, what yer dom
now?
BilIy-Oh, I've got dandy job.
''Whar yer have to do all day?'
keep out o. de way o. der foreman. -
Boston Beacon.
81 think it's very strange said
Robbie, as he glanced meditatingly
away from his book. ''Here it says that
gold is the softest of metals, and last
night heard both papa and Mr.. Viii
kins say it was the hardest thing they
ever had to get."-Phiiadelphia Times.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-02-27
BREVITIES BY WIRE.

French torpedo boat has gone ashore al
Costa De Mira, Portugal ALI the crew wers
saved.
The Canadian government has agreed ia
barrel.
One thousand three hundred and forty
immigrants were landed at Castle Gar den
yesterday.
ga eoroner's jury has returned verdict OF
murder against Dubois, who killed his wife
mother-in-law and children at st. Adams,
Quebec.
NJ. B. Wright was renonainated for congress
for he Fifteenth Pennsylvania district at
Susquehanua yesterday.
Russell Harrison. son of President Har-
steamer Mascotle. from Tampa.
John Caldwell. q veteran of 1872 Yhd
died in the Soldiers Home at Kearney. n.
j., yesterday, was 1O6 years old
All hope of the safety of the schooner
Laburnuln, which lefs Halifax Jan. Z for
Porto Rico, has been abandoned.
William Nickle. president of the Thousand
Islands Steamboat company, is dead at Kings
ton. Ont. He was seventy ight years old.
Rev. DR.. J. a MacCauley. formerly pr9si-
dent of Dickinson college. but now the pas
tor of Eutaw street Episcopal church, BaIti.
more, is dying.
At Scranton, Pa, yesterday Martin Star
row, employed in a stone quarry, rammed a
par INTO mole containing dynamite
The following nominations have been con.
firmed by the senate: Cornelius II. Hanford,
United States judge for the district of Wash
ington; Sylvester Il. Burch, su perFisor of tho
Second census district of Kansas.
The superior court of Baltimore has de-
eided that the CITY must pay SlOODD "a
Ciperino Fernandino for the death of his son,
who was swept into q sewer last June and
drowned.
The urgent deficiency bill is completed. II
makes n total anrTnrriafinn Of COL q. n ~.
of which 81 IL ,629 is made up of approprif.
tions to paw two and three year volunteers,
bounty volunteers, communication of ratiohs
ana horse and property claims
About twenty-four ocean steamers arrived
IN New YORK yesterday. They all bring
news OF stormy weather at sea- MANY yes
sels had been detained below by fog. ana
when the weather cleared in the morning
the Day presented most animated appear
anee.
The Dolph committee, appointed to in.
xestiSate the method Or which the news of
Inc senate S executive sessions becomes pub
lie, resumed Its sittinss yesterday and began
questioning newspaper men as TO their
sources OF information. Frank Hatton, ed.
itor OF the Washington Post and Messrs.
Hannum and McGitl reporters on the same
paper, appeared before the committee
special meeting OF the senate committee
on rules was held yesterday to consider Nr.
Teller's resolution. offered last spring. nro
viding for the consideration of nominations
IN open or legislative session. On the oues-
ton, shall the rulessof the house be chsngeds
there was q tic vote. MeSsrs. Aldrieh and
blackburn in the affirmative and Massra
ingalls, and Harris in the negative. Mr.. Sber
man. fa6 nth memoer. was not preseut Ar.
nothing could be done. ' ~
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-02-27
ODD ITEMS.

The longest-lived people in the world
are the kOrWegians, among whom the
average duration of life is now As. 80
years for men, and 51.30 for women.
The largest shaft in Africa has lust
been opened in the Kimberly diamond
fields. 1t is % feet inches by z feet O
inches, and is to be LOCO feet deep.
Some professors who have been dig
ging into the Indian mounds of Penn
syivania have unearthed the skeleton
of brave who must have stood twelve
feet high.
1t is said that nearly all the postal
clerks and carriers who become thieves
begin by stealing letters addressed to
lottery agents. which they know are
almost sure to contain money.
During the progress of a guessing
match at the weight of bull at Allen
town, Pa, three men surreptitiously re-
moved the animal from the stable and
had it weighed, and by betting accord
ingly bagged the prize.
The Americans who are exploring in
MeSopotamia have uncovered at Niffus.
the old Nipur, the temple of Bel. and
have found tablets with inscriptions as
early as $3.50 B. c., with other articles
of archaeological value.
An English religious paper publishes
the following advertisement: "a lady
wishes to hear OF good school for girls.
where the birch rod. now coming into
fashion again. is used in the old way"
A Madison. Mich, widow kills three
birds with one stone by inserting i'm the
same issue of the Adrian Times her hus-
bands obituary notice, a card of thanks
and a notice that she will auction off
her late partners personal effects.
The PheniX Cni.1 Gazette is response
BILE for the statement that farmer near
that place took out Of one hill no less
than 2l4 sweet potatoes. not one weigh
ing less than one pound, and many
tipped the scales at twelve.
A lawyer in Pennsylvania was badg-
ering a woman during the cross-exam-
ination, when she charged him with
having sent his father to the poorhouSe,
wife, and the lawyer grew SO quiet that
a pin could have been heard to drop
Detroit Free Press.
The Christian Register relates this
story of an English bishop: TO man
who had been bothering him for pro-
motion till he lost his temper, he said:
s'Dear sir. if it were to rain reetorieS
and shower yicarages, / should present
You with an umbrella"
The Cologne Gazette said that the En-
press Frederick was rapidly increasing
her avoirdupols, and the editor thereof
was galloped into court, sentenced to a
months imprisonment in fortress, and
cantered off to live on cruel and water.
And yet the empress was gaining ten
pounds per monht.-Detroit Free Press.
Mrs. Moneybag, of New York, gave
luncheon to a party of friends in Del
monico's few days ago, at which the
ices were served in Dresden powder
boxes, with gold forks, which after the
course were presented to the guests.
being ehatfed on his custom of spread
ing splendid feast for joss, replied
with broad Celestial grin: s.Chinaman
feedee his god; lazy Christian man
waitee for his God to feedee him.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-02-27
SILVER sHINPLasTERs.

The silver bill reported by the finance
committee of the lower house of con-
gress IN the main embodies the recon-
dations formerly made by Secretary
WINDOW, and there is a strong proba-
bility that the influence of the adj
ministration will be strong enough to
force its passage through both branches
of congress. Mr.. WINDOWS ideas have
already been subjected to the widest
criticism. and no good can be done at
this time by simplifying the criticism.
The bfll now proposed to congress,
under the sanction and special patron
age of the administration, is a covert
effort to demOnetize silver and establish
the single standard. If there were any
doubts on this point at the time Mr..
WINDOW was making his recommends
tons to congress. they are all re-
moved by the fifth section of the
proposed bill, which repeats the
existing law authorizing the coinage of
silver dollars, and which restored to
them their legal tender character. The
silver certificates are to be made re-
deemable In lawful money OF the United
States. Silver will not be lawful money
except for the redemption of the silver
certificates, and the whole power of de-
termining how much silver shall be
coined for this specific purpose is to be
lodged in the secretary Of the treasury.
In fact, he is to be made the autocrat of
our national finances, vested with abso-
ute power to establish single stand
ard if he is SO inclined. This, at
best, is dangerous power to lodge with
one man. particularly when that man Is
identified with specializing interests,
and is Liable to be the tool OF the spec
nlators.
The conservative sense of the country
is now ready for increasing the use of
silver, with the intention of putting it as
soon as possible on an equality with
gold. Under our present laws silver is
holding its own fairly well, and if let
alone will in due time be restored to its
place as money metal by the side of
gold. This is what Secretary WINDOW
and the house finance committee are
afraid of. They represent interests
which demand the characterization of
silver. They cannot proceed about it in
direct manner because they know that
popular sentiment is against them.
Hence they resort TO indirect methods,
to articles unworthy Of statesmen, and
by making their covert attempt to de-
monetize silver distinct administra-
ton measure they rely on the party ma
iority in the two branches of congress
to rush it through. The party is to be
whipped into line On this policy, just as
it has been coereed into support of the
eyoeSsiye tariff
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-02-27
THE STORY OF A DAY

Young Abraham Lincoln is dead.
FIN. Finch. the ieweler, assigns.
Siosson defeats Ives in the billiard tourney.
The Ohio is raging in the vicinity of Cinein-
had.
". ". Astor gets most of his fathers vast
estate.
mining operator blows out his brains at
Helena.
Two Buckeyes resort to fisticuffs to settle q
love affair.
A breath Of scandal adds interest to the
Washa tragedy. :
a sane Pennsylvania is committed to an
insane asylum.
a big storm sweeps over two or three
Southern states.
Archbishop Fabre Of Montreal. is to be
made cardinal.
Charles Gibson, Of ST. Louis, is knighted by
Emperor William.
La Blanche offers TO fight Dempsey for q
saloon and purse.
C. A. Peterson. Of Alexandria, Mimi, mys-
teriously disappears.
Mitchell, S. D.. rejoiccs over the discovery
OF clay end chalk beds.
An clipping couple from New York are
captured at Blunt, s. D.
The st. Paul real estate transfers loom I'D
to nearly million FOR a day.
The Pan-Ameriean congress fayors the
construction of continental road.
A Chippewa Falls grass widows home is
wrecked by an explosion in q stove.
A nineteen-year-old wife of Sheboygan,
Wis, wants divorce from her seventy six
year-old husband.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-02-27
PANITzA's VILE PLOT.
The Gar Proposes to Take Hand
in the Inquiry.

The Gar Proposes to Take a Hand
in the Inquiry.
SOFIA, Feb. 26.-As the inquiry into
the Panitza conspiracy has been hither-
to conducted upon the assumption that
Russia is always at the bottom of all
the evil things that are done in Bull
garia, the government Of the czar has
assumed that his majesty is practically
to be put on trial when PanitZa is tried,
and it does not propose to be mere
looker-on where it can be accused and
cannot answer. The Russian govern
ment has, consequently, requested that
the drageman of the German consulate
shall attend the trial o 'fcjalIy on behalf
of his majesty. The car will thus OBJ
tain an official record of the proceedings,
and will have ready organ through
whom he can communicate any protest
he may care to make.
RUSSIA IS IMPLICATED.
VIENNA. Feb. 26.-It has been dis
covered in the Bulgarian investigation
Of PanitZa's plot that Russian general
awaited at REM, in Ressarabom, the 1e-
suit of the plot, intending Immediately
upon the death Of Ferdinand to cross
the frontier and assume command Of
Bulgaria.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-02-27
A Weather Prophet.

New York Weekly.
Seientist-So you have followed the
sea all your life! presume you are
thorough meteorological prognosticator
by this time?
Jack Tarre-A which?
Al mean you can easily foretell
gale, can't you?
easy 'nough. sir. When you see the
captain dancin' around an yellin' on
forty orders at onct, you kin jest make
UP y'r mind tibet it's goin' ter blow"
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-02-27
NO SUBSIDIES.

There is hardly mention of late of
the scheme to build up a merchant
marine by subsidies. Perhaps when
the appropriation bills come in some
other explanation of the reticence may
be suspected. but there has been failure
to secure support in the practice Of
great maritime powers. The state de-
partment some little time ago issued a
pamphlet giving the reports of the con
suls abroad as to the history and status
OF the subsidy business in Europe, and
it seems to have discouraged the advo-
Gates of that policy. Consul NEW, at
London, did not get the right sort of in
formation in regard to the bounty sys-
tenn in Great Britain. The commerce
of that country was not built up by SUBJ
sides, and the payments to the mail car
riers are not IN excess of the value Of
the service, and do not warrant the es-
Enlistment of new lines. The British
minister at Washington states explicitly
that ''Great Britain subsidies no ships
engaged in its commerce." The coun-
tries that do practice it have not effected
any cOmpensating results.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-02-27
Socialists Make Great Gains

BERLIN, Feb. a6.-The vote of the
Socialists in the recent election, com
pared with the last previous election in
1887, shows gain of 567, 405 votes. The
gam of the German Liberals. &C impaired
IN the same way, is 224,6o0. The Center
party, on the contrary, and the parties
included in the Cartel coalition all lost
heavily. The Cartellers have lost mill
ion votes. and the Center party 2O7, 657
votes.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-02-27
Little Abe Lincoln's Brave
Fight for Life Abruptly
Terminated.
Russia's August Ruler Will
Take a Hand in the Pam
itza Inquiry.
Bloody Balfour's Scheme to
Hoodwink Ireland's Pat
piotic Sons.

LONDON, Feb. 26.-In the house of
commons to-day Mr.. Labouchere gave
notice of his intention to introduce a
resolution calling for reduction of the
amount to be set apart for the mainte-
nance of the courts. The object of the
resolution is to call the attention of the
house and of the country to the great
scandal caused by the maIadministra-
ton of justice in connection with the
late Cleveland street exposures. Mr..
Labouehere has arranged that his mo-
ton on the West End scandals shall be
considered in the house of commons on
Friday.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-02-27
BALFoUB's LA FEST BLIND.

The Tyrant Is Preparing a Bill
Embodying Irish Autonomy.
LONDON, Feb. 25.-Mr. BalfOur is en-
gagged in preparing bill to give to Ire
land system of local self-government
or home rule. His scheme is said to be
based upon the idea of treating the
Irish as to local government just as the
English and the Scotch are treated In
regard to the same subject. As any
proposition TO honestly do this would
make the Tories home rule party, it is
not believed the bill will be more than
a pretense and juggle.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-02-27

MORE than twenty years ago congress
enacted that eight hours should be a
working day for certain classes of gov
eminent employees. As the law fell into
disuse. il is now proposed to have some
four or five millions of the surplus go to
meet their back pay. The claim agents
find their opportunity now to get in
ynrlr
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-02-27
CLAPPING OF HANDS.
Methodist Ministers Say 1t Is Not
the Proper W ay TO Approve.

Methodist Ministers Say 1t Is Not
the Proper Way TO Approve.
Cincinnati Enquirer.
The Methodist ministers held meet
ing yesterday and appointed commit
tee to draft resolutions on the death of
John Wilson, killed in the Cincinnati,
Hamilton & Dayton railroad accident,
as he was member of the church.
A man representing himself to be a
superannuated preacher. and who was
soliciting aid, was denounced as fraud.
Rev. Stephenson read an address on
1.-THE Personality and Work of the
Holy Ghost" 1t was very interesting,
and at the conclusion majority of the
members applauded by clapping their
hands. This action brought Dr.. Beail
to his feet. He objected to saying
"amen" by hand-clapping. DR.. Van
Cleve was also againstit it.