St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-05-11
Midnight Sketches of the Fa-
Der Gang and the Central
Station.
Chasing the Elusive Item
While the Other World
Is Asleep.
A West Seventh Street Wake
Which Startled the
MOurneps.
Results of the Affection of a
Favopite Cat for the
Deceased.

The life of the police reporter, the
disadvantages and redeeming features
of that branch of the profession which
deals most directly with the police de-
partment, haye been written of time and
again. The fellow who sits around
headquarters until $3.50 a. M, waiting
for something to turn up; who takes an
occasional jaunt in the patrol wagon by
way Of variety, and anon sings snatches
of comic opera or the latest thing from
the Olympic to fill up the pauses be-
tween arrivals has been painted in va
riety of characters by variety of writers
some of whom knew what they were
writing about, and others whose concep-
ton of the police reporters character
and calling are equally vague. The po-
lice gang in st. Paul is composed of
some of the best newspaper talent in
the city, and the run is "swept to a
hair" as the first streaks of dawn
brighten the Eastern sky and the morn
ing dailieS have gone to press. When
not engaged in ''scooping' his confrere,
the police man Oh the morning papers
turns his attention to telling stories
of men and things which have
come under his notice in the course of an
educational newspaper career. Stories
of scoops which set the vicnities of the
fortunate papers securing them in a
blaze of excitement, and of personal adj
venture met with while chasing the
festive fact through the slums OF Chi
cago, or over the plains of the West, Oh
behalf of some enterprislng sheet de-
SirouS of a sensational denouement at
some out of the way place in Nebraska
or Wyoming. StrOlled into the city
hall one night couple OF weeks ago.
| said one night, but to have said morn
ing would have been more correctly
stating the case. 1t was about 2:30 a.
M, and everything was quiet without
but for the occasional rattle of hack
as it jolted along on it's nocturnal mis-
sion to some gilded palace at the foot Of
the mountain. Within there sat in a
variety Of positions. some of which are
patent property of the gentlemen as
Stunning them, half dozen young men.
They were conversing in low tones, and
occasionally as one Of the coterie made
hit the group broke into a laugh
which caused the padlocks on
the cells to rattle in sympathetic
unison. The discovery that these men
were connected with newspapers inter-
ested me, for | must plead guilty to a
| sort of liking for the members of the
profession, and wien it became appar-
ent that they we're spinning yarns got
as close to the crowd as | consistently
could and listened. The first to come
under my eye in the capacity of story
| teller was young fellow of athletic
SuhnCQ fanQ m
what of that of Toole the actor, except
| that the nose was trifie more retrousse,
and the hair darker in color than that of
| the nimitable comedian. He smiled a
| smile tn at was Toole all over as he lit a
fresh cigarette and proclaimed that his
| hearers might go to sleep if they didn't
| like the yarn.
| ''It was a good many years ago." he
began, "when was little shaver about
| so high, that fellow named Pat Hogan
| lived out on West Seventh street. He
| was hunchback, was Pat. but a genial,
| whole-souled fellow, and he had host
of friends. Whether from the fact of
! his physical deformity or for another
| reason, Pat had never married, and he
| lived all alone in little cabin near
| where Western avenue is now. Hunch-
back Hogan as they used to call him,
| had one fault; he would drink more or
less, and occasionally got more of a load
| than was conducive to easy navigation
| of the then ill-paved streets. Pat went
| to wake one night and was so over
| come with grief and whisky that he
dropped stone-dead on the way home.
| There was a good deal of mourning
among the many people with whom the
little hunchback had been popul ar, and
it was determined to give him a wake
that should be an honor to his memory.
Owing to his physical defermity, the
| undertakerS had found it necessary,
when placing Pat in the coffin, to force
| his miS-shapen body down to its
place and nail slat across
the top of the caSket to keep his head
| and his shoulders from protruding
! above the sides. Everything was ar
ranged at last though, and when the
walkers arrived the dead man lay in state
| to receive them. The merits of the de"
parted had been discussed at length over
numerous pipes of tobacco and glasses
| of poteen, and the company had re-
lapsed into silent meditation on the vir-
tues of the dead, when suddenly a dis
NAL howl filled the apartment and
startled the watchers into wakefulneSs.
| Another, as mOurnful and uncanny as
| the first, and then from corner of the
room emerged Hogan's favorite cat
which had apparently just begun to re-
| alize it's bereaved condition. Dennis
| O'DONough, who sat at the extreme end
| of the room from the disturbed feline,
| removed one of his brOganS, and. with
| out word let drive at the feline. His
aim was DOOR. The course of the boot
was DETECTED by striking Mike Casey
on the jaw, from whence it flew against
the coffin with a resounding smash. The
result was as awful as unexpected. The
heel of that boot had struck and
knocked away the slat which
kept Pat Hogan in position. and with
| the jerkey movement Of a jack-in-the-
| box the corpse assumed sitting
posture. One eve which, try as they
! would, the undertakes had been unable
| to close, was fixed upon the group of
closed, gave the face of the dead man
| comical expression Singularly out of
| keeping with the occasion. The watchers
were Mortified. Old man Mcguire, an
| uncle of Hogan's, alone retained pres
| ence of mind enough to eXclaim Lay
| down you PatSey loike decent corpse;
| shure Oil drive the cat out meSilf." 1t
| was no use though, PatSey wouldn't
down, and Mcguire, like the rest, va
Gated the premises. leaving Hogan to
| his own devices. When the undertaken
| arrived next morning to screw down
! the coffin, he found Pat still in sitting
| posture, surveying with his one bleared
| eye the upset chairs and broken clay
| pipes which Uttered the cabin"
The storyteller reIit his cigarette,
which in the course of the narrative
had died out, and, amid such remarks
as. GOOD boy. Willie, try again."
"That's the best yet" ETC., retired to a
position in the rear and gave place TO a
bIase youth in brown Derby hat, pat
ent leather shoes and an English accent.
who told an awfully funny story, which
won't bear repeating, about bay mare