The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1890-06-07
DECLINE OF COURTESY.
Why American Men Are Forgetting tho
Gracious Arts of Politeness.

Why American Men Are Forgetting tho
Gracious Arts of POliteness.
Your editorial on the decline of cour-
tesy among men was a statement of
fact, well known and fully recognized
by every citizen of New York who has
occasion to use the various Transporter
ton lines from his home to business, So
ciety, etc. 1t can not be denied that
mans courtesy toward women is declin-
ing among Americans, and it is likely
to decline still more under present adj
vantageous circumstances. But effect
must be preceded by cause, and, seeing
the effect, let us search for the cause.
You attribute the decline of courtesy
very largely to the widening of woman's
sphere, making her more and more a
self-reliant being, neither needing nor
asking nor caring for the protection and
attention of mar. While this may be
true to some extent, it is only small
part of the underlying cause of this de-
cline of courtesy in man. For the main
and true reason we must look further;
we must look to woman to show the
cause. AS you aptly say, "a tree is
known by it's fruit" so let us Judge
men by their mothers. 1t is the mother
who is neglecting tho culture of cour-
tesy in her children who is responsible
for this lack of courtesy in man. 1t is
a daily occurrence on the elevated rail-
roads, in horse-cars, and ferryboats to
see ladies placing their children in
seats, to the exclusion of other women,
who are compelled to stand. Or you
can see a lady giving her own seat to a
lady with small child; and then, just
as soon as the next seat is vacated, the
child is deposited from the lap into this
empty seat, even though the lady who
gave up her seat may still be standing.
Is this intoxicating the proper degree of
respect, not to say courtesy and polite
ness in the young?
Again, an American woman treats
courtesy in man so much as her right
that she often forgeJs to thank one for
seat or other courtesy, not even deign-
ing to notice the giver. 1t is not the
poor shop-girl, who generally smiles or
bows an acknowledgement, who is at
fault in this respect, but those richly
dressed, with all the outward signs OF
'lady." Is man her slave, or does she
not appreciate his consideration?
Is it considerable for lady to remain
out, making her society calls, doing her
shopping, etc., until tn hour is at hand
when the large mass of mankind is re-
turning home, tired by hard days
labor? Should she not be at home at
that hour, if only to welcome her hus-
band, father or brother from his work?
Nv io 70 1o1,
to saunter along the busy thoroughfares
of our metropolis, preventing business
men, with urgent affairs on their hands
and minds, from passing ahead? Is it,
indeed, so uncourteous to jostle such
inconsiderate ladies aside in the rush
and tear of business?
Further, when a man is so gallant as
to hold a door open for the lady behind
him the lady very frequently passes
through without taking the door from
him, compelling him to hold it for the
next lady, and so on, until some gentle
man takes it from him. This is done
very often, regardless of the fact that
the first gentleman may have lady
with him, waiting for him, Is a man
treated in this manner apt to grow more
courteous toward woman?
These are few of the vital causes
conducive to decline OF courtesy in
man toward woman. A courtesy or an
act of gallantry becomes an act of impu-
dence the very moment it is not appre-
ciated by the intended recipient, and if
courtesies are not worthy of ackncwl-
edgement they are not worth receiving.
Cor. n. Y. Tribune