davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1890-02-28
How Prof. Cook Makes His Freshman
Class Feel Very Uncomfortable.

How Prof. Cook Makes His Freshman
Class Feel Very Uncomfortable.
Prof. Cook, of Harvard College, is one
of the most popular instructors in the
university. Every freshman has a
course in chemistry under the venerable
scientist But if the course were not
prescribed it is likely that his classes
would be fully as large as they now are.
An hour in his experiment room is like
attending an entertainment. He makes
things lively in the most approved
''college-celebration fashion with his
explosions, burning chemicals and other
fire works experiments. The professor
has spent good many years over his
crucibles, retortS and receivers, and his
hand trembles visibly when he picks up
any of his apparatus or instruments
Ono of his lectures is devoted to danger
Gus explosives, and stir always goes
over the room when he picks up bot
tie labeled nitro-glycerine. His smile
is as innocent as a child's, and it reveals
the most genial and sympathetic nature
in Harvard College. When he picks w
the bottle and holds it up, the yellow
liquid stirring with the shaking of his
hand, he always says something like
this: Now, gentlemen, it is commonly
believed that if / were to drop this lttlc
bottle we should all be blown to the
skies his hand trembles little moro
and timid freshmen look longingly at
the doorI; but if this compound is pure.
perfectly pure, mind you, can light a
match with perfect safety and thrust it
down the neck of the bottle" Here he
feels for match. But" he instantly
adds, 81 am free to confess that have
not enough confidence in its purity to
try the experiment" MANY signs OF
relief and one of the professors divine
smiles).-N. Y. Tribune.
The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1890-02-28
Chinese Funeral Procession.

A remarkable funeral procession para
ded the streets of Picking a few weeks
ago. 1t was the formal public celebra
ton of the burial of Tsching Tschu a
grand chamberlain and brother-ln-laW
of Prince Kung. The bier was carried
by eighty men, preceded by forty -eigh'
fag-bearers, eight camels and twenty
four white horses. One hundred and
sixty men followed bearing sixteen red
planks, on which were painted in many
colored letters the name and titles OF
the dead nobleman. The whole pro
cession was mile and half LONG,
London Standard.
The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1890-02-28
Old Mr.. Widover had been sittin.

Old Mr.. Whoever had been sitting
silently alone with Miss Autumn fol
about fifteen minutes. Finally he spoke:
Miss Autumn, you are pretty" 20
Mr. Widower." "You are pref
How can you, Mr.. Widower?" 81
started to say that you are pretty
80, you horrid man. STOP" Condemn
it all. woman" shouted Mr.. Widower
rising and breaking for the door, 81
wanted to say that you were pretty near
as old as l am. Now, demme. I think
you're twice as old. San Francisco
Examiner.
The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1890-02-28
"a LITTLE NONSENSE"

For nine women who can make
tart answer one can make a pie speak
for itself. -Baltimore American.
-Mistress-'.M Mary. don't like to
see this dust on the furniture Mary
''All right, mum. I'll pull down the
blinds"
-Oreide- "Gilpin, why is clock
like baseball player?' ''Gilpin-.'I
give it up" Because it
can't strike when it's run down" y
jewelers. Weekly.
-She-"Oh. my too'h aches just
dreadfully! don't see why we can
not be born without teeth" He-"I
think. my hear. that if you will look
up some authority on that point you
will find that most Of us are. Omaha
World.
Mrs. Gabby-"It is shocking, the
way that Mrs. Sharpe bosses her hus-
band. The poor man can hardly call
his soul his own" Mr.. Gabby-'Don't
you say word against that lady,
Maria; she refused me ten years
ago!"-Time.
Young man." said the long
haired passenger to the occupant of
the seat ahead. do you know that
have never spent "A dollar for liquor in
my whole life?" -'Really?" responded
the young man. turning half way
round. with look OF great interest on
his face, How do you work it?''-
Life.
-Baxter-''Is Sowgo boarding at
your hotel now?" Bixby-"No; and.
say, feel awful sorry for that fellow.
He can't get boarding place to suit
him. What's the NATTER
Is he too particularly Bixby-"No:
it's not that; but you know he shutters
dreadfuly." What's that
got to do with it?" Bixby-"Why. he
shutters so that at meal times, by the
time he can tell the waiter what he
wants, every thing has got cold. =
America.
Mr.. LEM (photographer)-.I
have not, for long time, had so good
a sitter as you are. The expression is
exactly right. How did you gain such
control over the facial muscles? Are
you an actor?" Mr. Rhodster-"No
sir" Mr. Lenz-"Well. well! Per-
haps you are bicyclist?" Mr.. Rhod-
ster-"Yes, / am" Mr.. Lenz-"Ah
that explains it! 1t comes from riding
the machine on stone pavements and
trying to look as though you enjoyed
it. Puck.
Accommodation in Oklahoma CITY.
Clerk (of Hotel Vendome, to newly
arrived guest-''I'll put you right in
mere; finest room in the house, sir:
the bridal chamber" Guest-..Yes.
yes. see. Can | get towel?"
Clerk-'Oh. yes. sir; we have all The
modern conveniences here. sir. Yes,
Stree! Hop Sing ought to bring in
the towels by tomorrow; send you
one soon's they come, sir Any thing
eI~epn-Puck.
President Diaz, during the four
years of his administration in Mexico,
mas rendered substantial services TO
science Dy encouraging archaeological
INVESTIGATION and taking measures for
the preservation of ancient monu-
ments and historical remains. The
ruins OF Aochicalco and the pyramids
OF Ieotihuacan have been explored
! and the searchers rewarded by many
interesting discoveries. An archao-
logical map of the Republic has been
made and the palaces of Militia in
closed, for their preservation. by a
The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1890-02-28

DIR. Julius Weissner has made the
discovery that linen rags we're used IN
the manufacture of paper as early as the
eighth century. And at that early day
the paper was ''clpyed" like the modern
article.
The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1890-02-28

Governor Ross. formerly of Kan
sas. and one of the United States Sem
ators VINO stood by Andrew Johnson
in the impeachment proceedings, is
now employed as printer in the Office
Of the Santa Fe New Mexican.
The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1890-02-28

When ready to serve a jelly or
cream that has been set in a mold. set
the mold in tepid water. or wrap
warm cloth about the mold for a mo-
nents This viii loosen the Jelly.
The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1890-02-28
A Change of sentin.en..

''Mr. Binks. would you like to rock
the baby to sleep?"
'sNot much"
s'Well then, I'll rock hi NJ while you
go up stairs and get my pocketbook
from my dress.
ST think I'd like to rock the baby
Merchant Traveller
- regret to say, gents" said Mr..
Johnson, stopping the dance in part
ners to the center" ''de ice crea m mans
here, but he won't leave de Wand ii IL
he's paid, an as all my cash w los in
the mex room on de dice, eff it is de
wish o. de comp'ny dat de ice cream be
lef', it'll be my july to collec' small
sum from each gent. New York Sun
The Sandwich Islanders pipe is
made of virgin cork lined with meer
schaum and is curious by reason of the
pattern n>the cork mad e by the insects
that feed on the trees. 1t is like deli
cate lace work.
The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1890-02-28
A SCIENTISTS JOKE.

in Philadelphia Times.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1890-01-01
CALIFORNIA; Natural Cathedral.

In his lecture OH the "Prehistoric
Archaeology OF America" before the
T TeW Gen CHARLES " parns o
Utica, said that zone of the most re-
markable monuments found is in San
Luis Obispo County. Southern Calitor-
MIA A great rock rises $50 feet above
the plain of Carissa, and in the dis
lance looks rugged and forbidding. On
near approach it is seen to have on it's
eastern side an opening Is feet
broad, which leads into an inner tenn
pie or court with level floor 225 eet
long, and 1875 feet broad at its widest
part The ceiling is go to 100 feet high.
Ibis great natural cathedral is a wonder
to BIOLOGISTS, but tits more wonderful to
arcLaologists. 1t was evidently used
by prehistoric man as temple OF wor-
ship or capitol of government. On
the walls are paintings in red, white
and black, doubtless having meaning.
There are figures representing fields,
suns, forts, spears, men and animals.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1890-01-01
One from John.

From the Kansas City Times.
There was a very pleasant diversion
for quite circle in the parquet be-
tween the acts at one OF Kansas City 8
leading theaters the other night, al
though the scene covered with coniu-
sion very charming young society lady.
She is from Chicago, although until a
couple of years ago a resident of this
city, and her visitors here are quite fire.
quent. Some time ago she was paid no
little attention by a young man with
whose mother and sisters she is init
mate; but recently be gave way to an
other and by him she was escorted to
the theater on this night, the two being
the nucleus of considerable theater
party. Just behind them sat the moth
er of the young man who was of old the
young lady's regular escort, and with
her was her youngest son, bright lad
OF Z or s. He was always a pet of the
young lady, and as soon as he set eyes
upon her he waited lmpatiently for the
curtain to go down. Then he spoke,
and she turned pleasantly to greet him.
emily. He threw his arm about the
voutg lady's neck, pulled back her
head, and gave her sounding smack
on the cheek.
"John sent that said the imp very
audibly, referring to his elder brother,
as he settled contentedly back in his
seat.
And all the rest of the evening that
young lady's cheeks were like the red.
dest of red roses
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1890-01-01
How to Pack Grapes.
From the Cleveland Leader.


About ten or more years ago Mrs.
Ammon, of Josie Blann fame, was in
possession of valuable secret which
added greatly to her wealth. She cult
waited large vineyard in Euclid, and
she never sent the Catawba grapes to
market until Christmas and New
Years and often later in the winter.
Being the only one in the vicinity who
understood the method of preserving
grapes, they naturally sold at very
high figure. By and by other grape
raisers learned the mystery, and this
winter 30 many owners of vineyards
understand it that Catawba grapes of
the best quality sell at 10 cents a pound,
while the second grade article can be
bought for half that sum. For the bene-
fit Of those who are still IL the dark the
recipe, which is very simple one, is
herewith given. Wrap each bunch of
grapes separately in grape leaves, pack
them carefully in baskets and keep
them in cool place. When ready for
the market repack them without the
leaves. That's all.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1890-01-01
HOmely Philosophy.

From the Arkansas Traveller
Insincerity is often mistaken for q
lack Of honesty.
The ring of coin is often the knell of
friendship.
Adversely undermines many struc-
ture of prosperity.
They never need fear fall who never
scale the height.
He who wisely uses his wealth need
not use it for his tombstone.
The sight of mans money is often
times the antidote for the odor of q
very bad cha1a cter.
True genius lurketh under cover,
while arrogance stalks abroad in the
full light of day.
The wisest fish long escapes the most
dangerous hooks, and is finally caught
with bent UP pin.
Prosperity awaits all men, and even
pursues some, but it is never found in
the haunt of vice.
The most wonderful work of God is
man, but brand him a slanderer and
God will disown His work.
If you would avoid the suspicion Of
your neighbors, never carry your mo-
lasses in a. demijohn.
The am bition Of youth looks forward
to the triumphs of age, while stated age
turns back wistiul eye along the rosy
path of youth.
1t is well the book of life is opened to
us page by page. Were all the hard
lines barred at once the task would be
too hard to master.
Not only should careless statements
regarding our neiyhbors be ignored, but
facts themselves should be often sub
dued In the interest of right-thinking
and fairness to our fellows
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1890-01-01

the I've. The I've should be used until
the fruit suits the taste. Then the
olives are put in pure fresh water until
the alkali is we'll removed. This can be
ascertained by the color of the water
and by the taste. In sailing, use the
best Liverpool "coarse fine" salt, the
amount being about ten pounds to the
barrel OF olives, water enough being
used to cover the fruit. Barrel up tight
and keep in cool place. All the pro-
cess should be conducted in the dark, as
the light is apt to injure the color. The
celebrated olives picked after the man
ner of Picholine are put under treat
ment o. I've made more ak 4line by the
addition of quicklime. After leaving
the olives a certain length OF time, un-
til the pulp separates easily from the
seed-a condition which depends upon
the strength OF the lye and the size of
the oliv+s-they are then washed and
put in strong brine. In the South they
flavor with fennel and coriander; some
times they substitute in place of tie
seed a small piece of anchovy and q
caper. In the latter case the olives
should be in oil.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1890-01-01

The colors are apparently as bright as
when laid on. The wonder was discov-
cred by franciscan missionaries
hundred years ago. and there has been
no change in it's appearance since.
When or by whom the walls were dec
grated no one knows. The India n
tribes had no tradition concerning the
work, and regarded it with superstitious
reverence. A part of the land of the
Plain of Carissa belongs to the govern
ment. The Atlantic a Pacific Rail-
road land grant touches it. Until re-
Gently the plain was frequented by wild
horses, bat now the temple affords shell
er for the focks of the shepherds.
Four thousand sheep can find protec-
ton from the orm at once"
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1890-01-01
YOU'RE BoUND TO FIND 1T.
BY PAUL C. WEST.


When everything is going wrong.
And nothing goes to suit you,
When men, instead of shaking hands,
Seem more inclined to boot you,
Don't be discouraged. nor cast down,
Nor swear, nor cry confOund 1t
Brace up, and let your spirits climb!
You're bound to find, in course of time,
Some way to get around 1t.
When tailors haunt you with their bills,
And for their payment clamor;
When you to icemen are in debt,
And on your door they hammer;
What though the plumber with his oaths
Your heart does bruise and wound it?
Just keep your dander up, old boy,
And you'll discover to your joy,
Some way to get around 1t
And when the mother of your wife,
According TO the fashion,
Insists on living at your house,
Don't fly up in passion.
But when your temper starts to rise,
Just push it down and ground it.
Her very presence you may hate,
Cheer upl And you'll find, soon or late,
Some way to get aroundit!
If with a maiden you're in love,
And round her waist are trying
To get your arm, while she resists
With effort most undying,
Don't get excited. fume nor prance,
Nor beat your breast and pound it.
Upon her waist just keep your eye,
And you'll discover If you try,
Some way to get around 1t
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1890-01-01
FARM AND HON E.
Tired Mothers.

BP MRS. ALBERT SMITH.
A little elbow leans upon your knee,
Your tired knee that has so much to bear;
A ch1ld's dear eye Is looking lovingly
From underneath thatch of tangled hair
Perhaps you do not need the velvet touch
OF warm, moist fingers, folding yours so tight,
You do not prize this blessing overmuch,
You almost are too tired to pray tonight.
But 1t is blessedness. A year ago
did not see it as do to- day
We are SO dull, and thankless, and toe slow
To catch the sunshine till it slips away.
And now it seems surprising strange to me,
That while bore the badge OF motherhood,
did not kiss more oft and tenderly
The little child that brought me only good.
And if, some night when you sit down to rest
You miss this elbow from your tired knee,
This restless, curling head from off yod1
breast
This lisping tongue that chatters constantly
If from your own the dimpled hands had
slipped
If the white feet into the grave had tripped,
l could not blame you for your heartacht
then.
/ wonder so that mothers ever fret
At little children clinging to their gown;
Or that the footprints, when the days arc wet,
Are ever black enough to make them frown
If could find a little muddy boot,
Or cap, or jacket on my chamber floor;
IT could kiss q rosy, restless foot,
And hear its patter in my home once more,
If could mend a broken cart to-day,
Tomorrow make kite to reach the sky
There is no woman in Gods world could say
She was more blissfully content than l.
But, all the dainty pillow next my own
Is never rumpled by shining head;
My singing birding from its nest is flown;
The little boy used to kiss Is dead.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1890-01-01
Emperors have their Weaknesses.
Paris Cor. London World.

Paris Cor. London World.
Emperor Ego is the nickname Will
lam Ii. has won for himself here, II,
me, my, mine," being pronouns that
crop up so constantly in his speech and
letters. His kilograms to Prince Bis
marck, published as soon as they ar
rive, are models of the egotisticai style
There's nothing pleases him more than
to find himself repeated in print. The
first Emperor William had served ~ to
him in his old age, along with his break
fast every morning, two papers. of
which special editions were cooked up
exclusively to him. He was not aware
of this. No journal was ever cause of
sharper Cabinet chickering's than this
one. Each minister wanted the lions
share of space, ard thus influence the
august reader. B smarck eventually
managed this special issue himself.
The copy which met with his approval
was known as pap for the Emperor"
who, long be ore his death, had fallen
further into second childhood than any
one SuSpactA0
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1890-01-01
DOMESTIC MATTERS.
SUGAR GINcERPpEAn

SUGAR GINGERBREAD.
One and one-half pounds of -four, one
pound of sugar, three-fourths pound
butter, five eggs, ginger, and little sal
eratus; spread on thin sheets and roll
thin.
JUMBLES.
Six cups of -four, three of sugar, one
half of butter, four eggs, teaspoon sal
eratus dissolved in q cup of milk; drop
on this with spoon, sprinkle with sugar
and bake quickly.
NEWPORT TEA CAKE.
One cup of sugar. One-half cup of
melted butter, one and one-half of milk,
two spoons OF cream of tartar, one of
soda and flour to make q stiff batter;
mix the soda and cream of tartar with
the flour; bake twenty minutes.
POTATO CAKES.
Rub two tablespoon uls of butter into
two pounds of mashed potatoes; add
two pounds of flour, little salt, and
milk enough to make stiff batter; add
halt cupful of yeast; set the mixture
to rise, and when light bake in cake
the size of mullins. Serve hot and but
tered.
sTEWED TOMATOES.
Open can of tomatoes, put in
saucepan and Set on the back of the
stove; cook one hou1, add teacup of
bread crumbs, two ounces Of butter,
with salt and pepper; cook half an
hour.
CARAMEL CAKE.
One cupful Of sugar, one cupful of
milk, two cupfuls OF -four, butter size of
an egg, one teaspoonful of cream of tar
tar, Tablespoonful of soda, half-cake
of chocolate grated. Bake In layers.
MUFFINs.
A HOMEMADE and well-tried recipe for
mullins is one pint OF sweet milk, butter
size Of an egg Tor little smallerl, salt,
one egg. three heaped teaspoonfuls Of
make stiff enough to drop nicely in
pans.
DELICATE INDIAN PUDDING.
One quart of milk scalded, two heap
ing tablespoonful of meal, cook twelve
minutes; stir into this one tablespoon
full of butter, then beat three eggs with
four tablespoonfuls Of sugar, 0ne-half
tablespoonful of ginger, salt to taste;
mix all thoroughly, and bake one hour.
BREAKFAST CAKES.
One and half cups of Indian meal,
one and one-half cups of -four, half a
cup Of sugar, butter, teaspoonful of
soda. milk, one egg; stir cream of tartar
in the -four, and dissolve the soda in
l1Cb1O Colu WdbOI lila I'LL IIIiS 4OAIO OOIt
with milk; bake in shallow pans. To
be eaten hot with butter. and is very
nice.
CHOCOLATE CAKE.
Take the whole Of the dough; half-cup
of grated sweet chocolate; beat together
thoroughly; bake in three layers. Put
ogether with frosting in which one ia
blespoonful of grated chocolate has been
thoroughly mixed; frost the cake;
sprinkle chocolate over it as heavily as
you like, or put chocolate creams at reg
ular intervals over it.
OATMEAL GEMS.
Take one cupful OF oatmeal and soak
it over night in one cup OF water; in
the morning add one cup Of sour milk,
one teaspoon III of saleratus, one cup OF
flour and little salt. They are baked
in irons, as other gems and mullins.
IT on first trial you find them moist and
sticky, add a little more flour. as some
brands of flour are thicker than others.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1890-01-01

A very handsome young lady, appar-
emily from the country, got into an Ar
lington horse car, so the story comes to
us: A masher crossed over from the
other side of the car and taking a seat
beside her asked if he had not met her
somewhere before. The young lady
coolly looked him over momentand re-
piled in voice sufficiently loud to be
heard by all the passengers. "I am not
sure, but think you are the man who
stole our spoons" The masher was the
center of all eyes, and hastily rung the
bell and left the car.T
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1890-01-01
A Model Son as Yet.
From the New York Truth.

From the New York Truth.
Overheard on a Wagner car, Pussy
old gentleman to chance travelling lady
companion:
''Have you any children, madam"
"Yes, sir, a son."
"Ah, indeed Does ne smoker"
mo, sir; he has never as much as
touched cigarette"
80 much the better, madam; the use
of tobacco is poisonous habit. Does
he frequent the clubs ?''
He has never put bis foot in one."
Allow me to congratulate YOU Does
he come home late ?''
Never. He goes to bed directly aftes
dinner
"A model young man, madam-a
modei young man. How old is he2"
1.-TWO months. =
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1890-01-01
Bad Thing Made Worse.
From the Man of the World.

From the Man of the World.
An art critic called on Royal Acad-
emician the other day and was much
struck Dv a portrait upon which the
painter was at work.
Every fine piece of work." said the
critic, shut where the devil did YOU
pick up such an uncompromisingl vul-
gar face ?"
Its my sister," replied the artist.
Beg your pardon" returned the
critic, and, intending to say something to
turn it off, he added in his confusion,
Il really ought to have recognized it by
the likeness TO YOU.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1890-01-01
Stopping a Runaway.

The Russian method of stopping a
runaway horse is said to be very effect
i've, and is not particularly cruel. They
place cord with running knot around
the horses neck, near the neck strap.
To this slip moose is attached pair OF
re ms, which may be thrown over the
dashboard ready to be seized at once.
When the horse starts the extra reins
are taken up md the cord is frightened
around the horses throat. The most
furious horse thus choked stops Instant
ly and will not kick or fall.