The prison mirror. [volume] (Stillwater, Minn.) 1887-1894, 1890-05-08
An Explanation.


So broadcast have been the criticisms
upon my contribution on ''TemptatiOn"
which appeared in THE MIRROR, two
weeks ago. in which 1 humOrously stated
that David killed Goliath ''aided by the jaw
bone of an ass'' that 1 consider it will not
be time lost if occupy few moments in
Offering for the better enlightenment of my
critics a word or two of explanation.
Though in the hurry of submitting the con-
tribution referred to. did not wait to ex-
anime into the correctness of my illustra-
ton, still having since studied authorities
upon the matter am happily convinced
that,my instinct. so to speak, or to be more
cOrrect-my early hedge school training did
not at the time play me false. Of course
every school child has learned from various
reasOnings that Samson slew one thou
sand Philistines by the jaw bone of an ass.
Here is one OF them:
A teacher of youthful class in Sunday school
day:
with what strange weapon" asked, Ibid Sam
son the Philistines say?'
Then knit the brows that hid the brain of each
determined youth,
But none of their researches brought to light the
needed truth.
The teacher sought to slightly aid their mem
cries remiss,
And tapping on his jaw he asked, Now, children.
what is this?"
The answer they were searching for came back to
them. alas!
They all in hasty tones exclaimed: 1.-THE jaw
bone of an ass"
l will ask my critics to remember that
the weapon is always quoted in the singular
number. Now, | boldly assert that every
ass has two jaw bones, and in making the
assertion have not doubt but / will be
backed up by every second and third termer
in this institution. But to my authorities:
About the middle of the End. century a
council of the Church under the presidency
of Pope EuphrenituS assembled at Rome
for the purpose of translating the Script
ures. Amongst those present were three
n-TOmacOrkadhalia, Tubberneh-
tina, and Crumbhalhadeilish q quote from
Cravibhn Aoibhunt's. Life and advent
ures of Leabhar acknowledgements, chap.
v. page 1922. The work of the council
went along smoothly and we'll until the
Israel PhiliStlne row was reached, and this
caused rumpus. The Irishmen while
agreeing that Samson used one of the Jaw
bones insisted that David had the other Sc
creted somewhere in his clothes, and i'm
mediately after disabling Goliath with the
slingshOt followed up his advantages and
gave him his temporal exit by the hidden
weapon. For the sake of harmony with
big II. all agreed with them, and the par
ticuars were given in a separate book,
known as the ''Squeal Finnaughta." From
some unaccountable reason nothing was
known of this book for over two hundred
years afterwards when it was found in
box buried five feet in the ground in the
northern part of Ireland and close to the
spot where TOmacOrkadhaia died. Great
rejocngS were manifested at the discovery
and preparations were made to carry it in
triumph to Rome. The box was given in
charge to one MackharhoOnafuItha. and as
the news reached the city of the seven hills.
there was scene of jOy-making the like of
which it had never before witnessed. Pre-
csely at s o'clock of the morning of Mack's
Ito prevent your teeth from falling out l
abbreviate his name) arrival brass band
of seven pieces left the vatican to meet him.
The drum major was Cardinal Sewardis-
SimO. and-what strange cOincidence-a
Jackass with piece of green ribbon tied to
his tail brought up the rear. The box was
hOisted on the shoulders of four men, the
signal was given. the ass wagged his tail,
and the band struck up 1.-The Wearing of
the Green" the crowd going wild with de-
light The box reached it's haven of rest
in safety and was given in charge to Arch
bishop Vandvericus. very holy and
learned man who three years afterwards
ran for Pope upon the Democratic ticket
and got elected by large majority. His
reign was very successful one; he loved
and helped the poor and needy, he soothed
the suffering while the Republicans and
rings found no favor in his sight When
seated in the midst of his Cardinals he used
to love to tell the story of How L Joined
the Army" and took deep interest in up