The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-10-05

n.y. WTS
"wHY DOES EVERYBODY LAUGH AT ME-. "
planned to them by our colonel that the
stuff was almost sure death, and besides
that there wasn't more than enough for
the officers.
"That night the liquor was stored in
an old tobacco barn that stood on side
hill, and the commissary took charge of
it. Pardon my going into detail this
way, but when see bureau just pant
ing for private information l like to load
it up, and only wish that the American
people would join me in this praise
worthy endeavor.
THE liquor was extremely rocky, I
guess; but that's neither here nor there.
The silence of night gathered about the
sleeping encampment, and tired nature
soon yielded to Overpowering fatigue.
All was silence along the misty line Of
slumbering forms, save the near by
crUnching and grinding of provender by
the jaded horses or the distant report as
some faithful picket discharged his duty.
"Then all was silent again.
Anon the day breaks, and with it a
wild, mellow howl from Company G.,
known as the OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
hquid-hght company; also the tee
totlers. This was calculated to be sar-
castle, because they had painted every
southern state bright red barring
Texas, and that was too big for their
stock, so they run out of paint.
"Well, these fellers were all extremely
full and they went on TO state that they
were glad Of it. They had been heard
to speak disparagingly of the rebellion
several times, and to say also that if they
were home again they would be almost
willing to let the colored man break his
own fetlocks in such style as he might
deem proper. They said a great many
things about the inconvenience Of being
chased and shot at for two days running
by an Infatuated foe at $18 per month
and find ones self.
Later on we ascertained that the
liquor had been secured by incendiaries,
who had stolen two barrels out of three,
and almost out from under our noses.
This very naturally Infatuated our Off
GERS, who had had only one or two big
drinks out of it so far, preferring to wait
day or two in order that it would have
more age. tasted of it myself once, so
l was told by friends who held my head
all the day afterward. | couldn't help
thinking at the time that if this sort of
liquor was general in the south, piracy,
treason and the use of cuspidors in the
sanctuary ought not to be looked upon so
severely as they would where less
malignant style of rum was in general
circulation.
'Well, TO make long story short, Mr..
Census Burro, | was selected to guard
the remaining barrel that night. put
it up on trestle, locked the doors and
laid down alongside the trestle in nv
blankets and waited for day. l kept
awake for probably an hour, though it
seemed to me like a year. Then the
crickets sounded further and further
away, and that was all, for was tired.
Oh, sir, l was indeed very tired.
wasn't doing regular guard duty, recol-
lect, Burro, but sort of volunteer police
duty.
Along about o'clock, should say,
was woke up by sharp pain in my
person, and with a shrek of agony which
was heard distinctly by loyal neighbors
of mine in Montreal. who said that it re-
minded them of the shrek made by Free
dom at the time when Kosciusko fell,
stood in the middle of the floor wrapped
in my own sad thoughts and an army
shirt which did not extend to the close
of the war by any means.
LAS darted away from what seemed
to be the sting of an overgrown hornet,
such as one might run across while ram
bling through Satan's preserves, saw in
the uncertain light the retreating bit of
a two-inch anger. Then l could make
out dimly large collection Of auger
holes distributed around over the floor,
evidently in a vain search for spirits, and
below l heard the football of escaping
soldiery as they fell over each other in
their efforts TO escape.
The whisky was saved, and in one Of !
lhC bdbNlcS WHICH occurred Sbou dltcE- D
ward | think 1t won as the day, for our |
colonel was SO i'll natured because of the |
head he had mon him on that dav that |
before any one could pacify him hs |
-ushed IN and killed quite lot of the /
'nemy, thus weakening them and turn /
ng their flank wrong side out, which I
We took advantage of, and it gave Us the
-ictory.
But have never been the same man !
ince was so horribly bored. never /
eel sure Of my victuals unless Of the |
-ery coarsest character, and l suffer
yreat pain at times. What l cannot IN
lerstand is that so many people regard
he whole matter as mirth provoking.
even quiet, sensible old people who are
lot at all frivolous give themselves up
o paroxysms of laughter when l tell nv
ad tale Why should old silver haired
,eople whose bloom has been rubbed of
or many year let off peal of laughter
because my pancreas Is weather beaten
md the night air whistles through my
horacic ducts;
81 have put in all the testimony that
anybody need 10, think, regarding the
,aSa and hava SxUara n svarX-fhjDg tbgr .