The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-06-08
ABOUT ENGAGEMENTS.
HFiAT ARE THE RIGHTS OF EN-
Gagged LOVERS?

Enthusiastically of hen in
SeedlessIy Breaking an Engagement.
Breach of Promise Cases.
Copyright by American Press Association
There Is no law In the social code at
once so stringent and 50 variable as that
relating TO the manner Of conducting an
enga cement Of marriage. 1t Is a good
deal ike the children's game,
Simon says tlisI
Simon says thust
And whether it is this OF thus, the play
ers must do exactly as Simon orders.
Sometimes, for instance, Mrs. Grundy
has demanded that betrothals should be
of the most private, almost surreptitious
character; that there should be ian IN
derstanding" between the young people,
and few, very few, of the brides
family should be let into the secret, but
that the world at large should be aston
ished and taken altogether by surprise
in hearing some fine morning tat Colin
and Phyllis were married Every quietly
at the brides home a few days since.
Then MTs. Grundy takes a French fit,
and the marriage is to be arTaH ed be-
tween the two families and announced
by a betrothal party given by the brides
mother.
Just now, believe, il is the thing for
the girl herself to give n tea to her girl
friends, and receive their congratula-
tons and some little gifts, heralds, as it
were, of the more costly wedding gifts
to come, all by herself. In fact, SO strict
is the idea Of ladies only" on these occa-
sions that everybody was very much
scandalized by the presence Of the Colin
of one of these latter engagement parties.
$50 very awkward! So indelicateT
exclaimed one Of the guests in my pres
ence, and l could not but suggest that
perhaps the fdncGe felt that seeing is be-
ieving, and wished TO prove that her
pretentions were not without foundation.
This parading The engagement and the
engaged is perhaps Que extreme, but
certainly former friend OF mine went
to the other when she one day invited
her own mother into her bedroom and,
exhibiting a white silk dress lying upon
the couch, remarked: That's my wed
ding dress, mother, and | shall be mar
ried tomorrow evening. here at home"
always thought If had been that
mother would have replied as coolly:
ooh, indeed! I'm sorry, but am going
away for two or three days, and shall
start in an hour"
Another New 7 Ork girl whom ] knew
walked out OF the house one morning,
went to the Little Church we all know
of, was married, bought d paper Of choc-
Olate creams and went home, while her
husband took train west. Some months
later he returned to the city, called upon
his wife, and the two together announced
the marriage to the somewhat astonished
parents of the bride, the daughter re-
marking that she didn't want the fuss
of an engagement"
But 1t seems to me that these secretive
people lose one Of the very prettiest and
most ideal epochs Of life. the season OF
open and privileged betrothaL One feels
it in reading history and seeing the
pretty pageant OF the JfancaiIIes of some
fair young princess who returns for
awhile TO her fathers house a maiden,
yet bearing somewhat OF the sweet dig
nifty Of matronhood and the honors OF
her future state.
In the English marriage service, as
used IN the mother country, there is
provision made for a betroth&l service.
to be followed weeGs, months, or, as is
now the use, moments after, by the real
marriage ceremony. and at one we'd
ding whereat / assisted in London the
man and maid stopped at the entrance
of the choir and there gave their troth"
before proceeding to the altar steps,
where they were El4ried.
1t seems to me that if some pretty
daughter of Murray Hill were to set the
fashion Of going to church and being be-
trothed, and then having a recept$on in
her fathers house, it would be received
as quaint and original idea and set
charming fashion.
All pretty ideas, however, may be ex-
panded Ike bubbles until they burst,
and this has been. There was a period
when betTothals, especially In Scotland,
were looked upon in nearly the same
light as marriages, and great imnorali-
ties sprung from them. One OF Sir Wal
ter SCOTS novels. The Monastery" |
believe, turns upon this idea, the be-
trothed pair calling themselves ''hand-
fast" and openly living together.
The same abuse of betrothal is brought
Cloister and the Hearth" one Of the best
stories he ever wrote. In TACT, the mar
rage records became so obscure and SO
vague in consequence of this abuse Of
betrothal that the Scottish law was
obliged, In defense of the rights Of prop
erty, to ordain that any couple calling
themselves man and Wits, or even living
together in those relations. were actually
to be held as such, although no marriage
ceremony had been imposed upon them.
The privileges and nights Of betrOthed
lovers have been, and perhaps are. as
vague as the importance Of betrot sll.
We shall ali agree that SCOTS hero, and
others like him, pusheI both rights and
privileges To tn undue extent, but On the
other hand l heard one lady boast that
her husband had no moro than kissed
her hand before she was married to him, /
and man Of my acquaintance bemoan- !
ing his unhappy marriage said that he /
knew nothing &. all OF his wife's character /
until it was too late, for thsy had only /
been alone twice before their wedding /
day. and at home siIe was efaOed by her |
clever and managing mamma.
But very few, either Of men or maids, 1
would be content with such cool and /