New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1890-08-13
WIT AND HUMOR.
Is stiff backbone an Indication Of q
setback Boston Herald.

The tramp always comes before din.
ner when he comes after dinner -Bing.
hampton Leader.
Avoid whisky and water, my son, y
said the fond father. cit is dilutioD
and snare. - Figaro.
The fortunes of the politician and
gambler are in the hands Of their
friends. Etnair0 Gazette.
The wise employe always laughs
promptly when the proprietor makes a
joke. -Sonae1vizze Journal.
go hire haul" said the hackdriy-
er to the man who was coaxing for 8
free ride. Merchant Traveller.
Most people look on favor as q
memorandum of where they can ex-
pect another -lizaOaukee Journal.
She-s'What was the chief feature at
the mass-meeting last evening?n He
THE mouth. q erre Haate Express.
''Beckley and his wife get along
nicely now.' .'SoP Which of them
is dead; he or shep''- Boston Tran
script.
He (despairingly)"I wish I could
find something to take up my mind.''
She (softly-''Try blottlng paper. -
Boston Post.
Bronson-''Who shall decide when
the doctors disagreep" johnson THE
Coroner generally has to do it.
Masmsey's Weekly.
HE can't get into society. He had
no grandfather '.And he doesn't
seem to know his grandmother, eth
er. ~. 7. Herald.
II you use your eyes to any purpose
you will observe that there are very
few square men round these days
Bangha'7toaa Leader.
A writer says: There is some
things woman dosen't know There
may be, but no man can tell her what
they are.-M z. Ledger.
Householder Ito suspicious charac-
ter-''What do you want?' Suspi-
cious Character Ghoughtfully) "Well,
| dunno; what yer got?"- Life.
Col. Yerger- .Well, how did YOU
like that picnic9" Gilhooly-'I was
SO glad to get home again that was
glad went. '-zsras 5yf5ings.
do you think your father likes me?"
he inquired. 90 yes" she answered.
"He said he was going to wait up to-
night to see you. IN. Y Herald.
Cumso-"Y Young Gurley is college
graduate isn't heP'' Fangle-.I think
he mnst be. He doesn't know what he
is talking about half the time. -
Epoch.
''I've changed my mind since 1 saw
yon last said Galley. II hope the
new one is better than the last, y put in
Cynicus, and Galley got mad.-M Y.
You never see the man who dozes in
church going to sleep at baseball
match. But then there is quite diff
ference in the style of delivery.-Yon-
ters Statesman.
First Boy-s'How do you like your
new teacher?" Second Boy-"He is
not lightning teacher. He strikes
several times in the same place. ~
TEXAS Syt5sgs.
Halworthy (entering late) -"How
long has Dr.. Vox been preaching?''
Sexton twenty-five years sir" Hal
worthy-':I guess I won't go in then.'''
-Harvard Lampoo,a.
"Why do you go into law? There
are more lawyers than the world can
support now" Il know it. Many
OF them must starve. Then will come
my chance."- Y. Su7a.
Misc G11ch1or.o ~,
how fearful the thought must be for
great singer to know she has lost her
voice" Mr.. Praclere Its much
more torturing when she doesn't know
it. y HARVARD Laanpooas.
Walker-"Good gracious, Wentman,
how you have changed only a ghost
of your former self? What have YOU
been doing?" Wentman- GLOWING
out the Health Hints in the news.
papers. "-Anaerica,s Grocer.
Actress Ito interviewer $50 you
want the facts of lifep WE'LL to begin
with, | was born in Newark, N. J."
Interviewer guess I'll soften that
down little. I'll just say that you
were born abroad. Light.
Friend-"W Ethel, how do YOU
like married lifep" Ethel (enthusias-
tically) It's simply delightful. We've
been married week, and have had
eight quarrels, and Isgot the best of it
every time. "-Bosto7aia7a.
There is one nice thing about being
an idiot. There is never any ikeli-
hood Of an idiots blowing his brains
out. This information was given u.
by one who knows, and is not based OF
personal experience. N. Y. Com
a1aercial.
Smith, notice that Robinson had
an article in the paper this morning"
| Jones 'Indeed!I didn't see it. What
was it?'' Smith-s.His spring over
coat. He was. taking it to the tailor to
be pressed and cleaned. - Burlington
Free Press.
George said she after she had
promised to be his wife, please don't
announce our engagement until mex.
week. :" '.Why not, darling?n he asked
tenderly. Because I'm going to tho
theater with Henry Friday night. -
Raaper's Bazaar.