River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1890-10-30
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PITH AND POINT.


-Disappolntment's Steel what is
that you are using on my face?' bay
rum" SIS that ALP" sighed the GUS
toner. II was in sort of hopes 1T might
be chloroform. philadelphia Times.
Wife during a quarrel) IF was
a man would blow the top of my head
off before l." Husband (iRterrupting)
- don't doubt it, my dear; especially
II you had to live with the same sort of
a wife do. Epoch
They talked that way Of me; they
called me an ass and donkey" cried
the lawyer to his clerk. "Why didn't
you take it down in writing? I'd have
made them prove it." 20. ! thought
their word of mouth sufficient "-Phila-
delphia Times.
Summer Girl-''That Mr.. De Salt
doesn't talk about any thing but the
sea, and he uses so many sailor terms
that 1 can't understand half he says.
Does he own ship?' Landsman-''No,
but he has friend who owns a cat
boat"-Good News.
-Parson BlufT-"Remember, you
must give an account of all your actions
and deeds when you go to the other
world" Jimmy Fastboy-"I'm glad
you mentioned it. am studying a new
system of improved memory. | guess
I'll drop it now. Yankee Blade.
-Alonzo-"What has come over
Reginald? He used to be such shy,
bashful chap, especially with women.
Now he puts on more airs than he can
carry" Alphonse-"Why. don't you
know? He was tho only man at Under
tow Beach during the whole month of
July."-America
--Smiley-"rhe improvements in
travelling accommodations are simply
marvellous. Why. travelling has ACTUAL
ly become pleasure, the appointments
of trains are so perfect" Bibliomahiac
And yet they neglect one OF the
principal comforts of life. They have
no old books shops on the trains."-
America.
-Judge-''You are sentenced to one
weeks imprisonment. You shall have
the best of food and any literature you
may desire, and Prisoner" Most
righteous Judge" Judge-"Li An
ME Rooney shall be played under your
window four times a day" Prisoner
failing on his knees "Mercyl Mercy!
Sentence me to DO hanged, instead. -
Bos ton Herald.
Lucy-"Pm afraid you do not love
me as fervently as you did" Jack-'I
swear by yon star that | love you more
fiercely than ever. There is no sacri-
En / OF 10 70
that ! speak the truth" Lucy-"Well,
anyway, when you called tonight you
did not embrace me half so closely a.
usual" Jack You see had this five-
cent cigar in my vest pocket and was
afraid I'd crush i:."-Chicago Post.
Jones Ito gatherer OF personal Cos
sip)-"What balderdash is this? You
say here am stopping at Saratoga l
was there only long enough to eat a
sandwich" II did not say you were
staying there. All | say is that you
stopped there. Isn't that true? There
is all the difference in the world be-
tween staying and stopping" so?
never thought Of that But stayl You
may stop my paper. Boston Tran
script.
"A magazine writer has been having
something to say about remal able
cases of memory, but none of them are
so difficult to account for as the fact
that a man will sit for hours in a crow
around hot stove in a grocery, telling
about things he can remember ever
since early childhood, and then go
home without the hairpins and other
things his wife sent him after, taking
along several letters he went up town
to mail-Ram's Horn.