The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1890-01-18
CULTURE OUT WEST.
A Landlord Who Was an Authority OF
Heightened Terms.

Heightened Terms.
Eighty-six miles beyond Denver, the
year before the first railroad went
sengers on the overland stage alightod
in front of the occidental Hotel" Quilt
of logs. With pants resolutcly tucked
in his boots, and detcrminedly fastened
to his waist with belt in which was
vehement revolver; check shirt ana
SLOUGH hat, POLITICALLY on one car. The
atfable host came out, kicking E2und
off the step to receive us. His size com
manded respect.
"Gcntlemen," said he, as he shook
hands with each Of us, "allow Inc to
welcome you to this hOspitable hostelry.
The bridge is gone at the river below
and you can't get over till it is fixed
some time tomorrow. You will abide
with me and with you, and you bet we'll
share and share alike in all we've got if
we have to cut a punliin. We are far
out, but you shan't find US way off. Step
right up this port cochcre slab plat
form) and don't stop to use the scrapor;
follow me through this portal (slab
door, to which the latch-string is never
out of fix, unless it happens to be drawn
in; step right up to this ornate counter
(board on two barrels) and place your
royal names upon this accommodating
register "a medical memorandum book
while l call our caterers attention (Sal
get grub for four on ditD
-. IN wv, ME lords, please stop out into
the lavatory (the whole wide world) and
proceed to perform your ablutions in
uncontaminated water dipped from the
creek in vessels of the purest plated
ware tin baSins), and there are tho
frescoed napkins (piecos of former table
cloth) on the rack (wooden plug. Now
please walk in. There is the mirror
northeast corner Of small looBing-glasS)
and comb (too shy to show its taeth(.
"Sit up here by the register, friends
(stove clear out Of DOORS, for the even
ing zephyrs are chilly, and take the
frost out of your feet. But first, gents,
stroll into the bar-room dry goods box
and take a supper inVigOrator mountain
avalanche). What, water? Gum, it II
take all the taste ont!
1.-The gong (spoon raped on crock
sounds; your rejection is ready; come
over into the dining-room southeast
corner of room) and take chairs Sawed
off logs at the table dc hote 1.-TWO slabs
on trcstles). Excuse orr menu, it is not
printed yet, but you see before yOu the
bill of fare Told bacon, corn bread, hon.
my, macl.ercl and chicory cotfee), the
terrapin and oysters haven't got here to
be in season yet No tOasts. gentlemen,
are permitted at the table; you must
adiourn to the bar for them and the
speeches. Gents, don't be sparing with
tne napkins tour handkerchiefs), they
seem to be plentiful
Later on as we were tired we intima-
ted desire to retire early. Said the
landlord: "Wait till | light the chande
Ter (tallow candle in block of wood,
as the gas is all out. Now come up the
elevator (laddcr in the corner;) don't
stumble and fall up stairs. Select your
own rooms, gentlemen, (beds all in one
room, divided by chalk marks,) and
don't overbalance yourselves and fall
against the partitions or you'll disturb
your neighbor. Repair to your downy
touches (straw ticks on planks;) just
manipulate this electric annunciator on
the floor Ga hickary club) or telephone
down the shaft trap door If you want
any thing, but don't make misstc3 and
tumble down with the message. Good
night"
The next morning We found tho land
lord IVES a great reader of high-toncd,
low-priced novels and had got on to the
swing.
At eight o'clock we got off with our
1i,,oe J',,,,