Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-12-12


why do they call Africa the Dark
Conginentf because there's SO much
black ink shed over it."-Puck.
When man says lie has nothing to
cay, it is safe to say that there is q barrel
full of facts back of his teeth.-Puck.
"What makes Billings look SO proud2"
ellis wife is tho only member of the
cooking school who didn't receive
prize. "-Bazar.
No, sir; we do not believe that eating
tomatoes produces cancers, but We have
seen many n eau sir, that contained toma-
toes.-Louen Courier. e
Strange as. it may seem, it is the man
who has lost his voice that makes tho
loudest and most disagreeable noise in the
choir.-DetrOit Free Press.
"Thcrc is an art in putting on gloves"
says fashion paper. Come to think of
it you have to get your hand in before
you can master the art.-B0Ston Courier.
Some men have ton
4 That it is their born right
To initiate their kitchen fro
And go out every night.
-Ddnsuitic Breeze.
Art must always get its inspirations
lfrom nature. The zebra gave us our first
3idca of striped clothing, AMI the elephant
\ was the inventor of loose trousers.-
Il Puck.
y The information that property is
d"just stones throw from the cars" is
Every frequently calculated to impress ono
Htwith intense admiration for the man who
@14t1~o,,, 49, Dat
81 JRuaiM sG-'Blabsons wife is very
.ssnhll, lsn y she3" Popinjay you
s|vould hardly believe it, but 1 have
2ieard it said that she goes through his
8bockets every night. "-Burlin9ton Tree
- Press.
Edith (soliloquizing)-"I'm so glad he
$roposes by letter. No fuss-no help
hg him on-and plenty of time to run
own to papa's Office and look him up lin
fradstrect before l give him an answer"
S -Jul7c.
~ az am in charge of tine whole depart
ent. AS the boss says, l am the eye
I'M the house." "Well, MS have a
fudge against the house think I shall
Ike this opportunity to give it black
c. "--Bazar.
III Lawycr-"Wcll, sir, We won the case,
ut it was pretty narrow victory"
ient-''Yes, 1 thought the other side
us, until you showed that their
Is jincipal witness was fisherman. y
$tnsey's Weekly.
Boarding house Alist-css-''How 90
like that water, Mr.. York;" Mr..
-f.-I ttIt hos an ,,,,Il-,, foetn 20 ,,,a "
clearinghouse Mistress -"Excuse me,
York, that is the milk you are tast-
Try the glass to the left. Yon-
Statesman.
Never waste time tciHE g people what
bit of good things you have done. In
first place they won't believe you,
Il; in the second place they arc waiting
|i'23: a chance to tell you what lot OF
&Sd things they have done themselves.
s S 5SomeruRle Journal
IRIS. Brown-"B Bridget, don't under
hd. You said you paid ten cents for
~ ass Of saltwater for Master Edward,
yet he tAls me did not have any"
hat's all y;ght mum; I bought it for
but he was SO warm / thought it
int hurt him, SO drank it myself,
a. ~ liegeiple Blaetter.
Williams" said the proprietor of the
slurant. "don't throw away the corks
bose soda pep bottles" "What good
q they?" inquired the new waiter.
81 ere's a market for thein," replied the
rietor. "Owners of excursion steam
buy them to mix with the straw in
life prescrvers. y Chicago Tribune.
$ love You we'll, my sweetheart shy:
f{Sssi$f I'm true.
he maiden blushing answered,
Love YOU
! ny do you love me, my adored?-
A pause,
nd then she answered with a word,
tSTE3 Because
Boston Courier.
tncss-"He looked me straight in
re and" Lawycr-''There, sir,
fatty contradicted your former
hent.'" Witness e How so2"
er-"You said before that he bent
Z ze onEou, and now you'll please
,ko he could look you straight
z cy6 With bent gaze" (Witness
y = Tic Jester.
ording to telegram, 'lightning
: a man in Springfield, Ohio, killed
g s ufAed the sign of cross on his
PnsI then dug hole in the ground
& am, the exact size and shape of
F." 1t is also rumored that tho
bolt paid all the funeral expenses,
monument for his grave and
s to marry his widow, bYt this 70.
hacks confirmation. -No,r,stoon