Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1890-03-27


his wife take back seat, 'Eyou have. |
presume, heard of leather?"
Yes. sir.
Leather, as you probably do not know.
and would never find out but from me. is
the hide off the back of certain animal
an OK, cow, steer, etc. The hide of a
horse is called horse-hide
Il thought it was called deer-shin,'' |
replied. willing to be crushed
''Ah! No doubt you did. All women
probably do The hide of calf is called
calf-skin."
How wonderful, Mr.. Bowser! Do they
take it off while he is alive? Calves don't
shed their hides in the fall, do they? Oh.
how l wish l had your knowledge!''
Your head could never contain it. Mrs.
Bowser, he answered, tickled almost to
death over the Ignorance | pretended.
But to resume. Leather is the hide of
an animal put through a process called
tanning. Even after being tanned it is
full of pores
SIS it possible?'
These pores, minute as they are, admit
water. That's how you get your feet
damp"
rs that the reason?"
IL dIlS uON Is1l SOlllS W UcdU
nature by filling those pores with oil, and
thus keep out the water
with linseed oil?''
Certainly"
But father and Tom used to use castor
oil. They said the other oils prevented
their shoes from taking shine afterwards,
ard made the leather sticky
ooh! they did? Well, what your father
and Tom don't know about leather would
make big book
He rubbed on the oil, dried it in, rubbed
on some more and spent an hour over his
shoes. Next morning when he tried to
put on a shine it was no go. He rubbed
his necktie almost over the back of his
head, but steam power couldn't have done
it. He quit brushing and called to me-
Il was afraid of it" Ireplied, as he held
up one foot.
Then why didn't you say so?'
Never! You have gone and spoiled
these Sc shoes!"
Mr.. Bowser, told you that inseed oil
would render them sticky and -
'And | want to tell you right here and
now that you won't get no Christmas
present next year-not even a candy cat!"
He 1IleTIupUou, DIS Hc DdISeu LIS udb
on his head to take walk around the
block.
In February I ordered cut-loaf sugar and
he sent W, pqlverized, and when | proved
by the cook that he was mistaken, he turn
ed away with
"Oh, well, if you can afford this sort
of thing, | can. I'd rather have peace,
of course; but next Christmas eve will
make everything all right. You'll be
looking for a present, but you'll look in
vai1I'
In April we were having two-handed
game of euchre one night, and | took his
king of spades with the ace.
''That's COOL" he remarked "What
sort of game do you call this?''
'Euchre"
"Well, you hand that trick over here!'
"What for? | took it.
mot much! The ace don't take no king
in this camel"
"Of course it does. The ace is next to
the left bower.
at is, Ell? Who told you that?''
Everybody knows it.
Then everybody is fool! The king is
above the ace, of course. That's why the
card is called king-because king is a
lllSh
Mr.. Bowser, you are wrong
II am right. You are getting left, and
so you want to raise row and break up
the game. That's just like you
But am three games ahead"
what! This ends it, We play no
more And now, when Christmas comes
again, don't blame me, Mrs. Bowser, if
you get nothing
In July. when we were down town one
day. I lost my parasol. He made a great
ado about it, but the lost article was sent
home from store while he was yet talk
ing The very next day he lost his wallet
and $50, and felt it my duty to repeat
his words:
"Mr. Bowser, you are the most careless
man | ever saw.
Il am, eh?'
"You might have known you would
have lost it if you carried it down town. In
future you had better tie piece of clothes
line to it. ;"
"What! You talk like that to me?'
cts just what you said to me.
'But the circumstances were vastly diff
ferent [ had intended to use that $50 to
buy you a Christmas present, but as you
have had so much to say, you III get moth
ing at all now"
It was the same in October and Novem-
Der, and even on the 23d of December Mr..
Bowser came home in the evening to OBJ
serve:
Il had 5000 horse offered me to-day
for So
Did you? Well, we don't want any
more horses around us. -
why not p
Because they prove to be bad bargains.
Neither of us know enough to drive one. >
Mrs. Bowser, do you mean to say that
| can tadrive horse he demanded.
"Weren t you afraid of the last one?"
mot much"
''But he ran away with you, and you
jumped out and left me to stop him
What! l jumped out?'
Certainly. 1t was in the papers
/ THAT ends you, Mrs. Bowser! I..did in
tend to get you something nice for Christ
mas, but now you get nothing-not even a
hair-pin. y
But | got a diamond ring, and am
awfully proud of it.
Not Exatly Biblical.
| was following a rough and rugged
road running along the French Broad
river in Eastern Tennessee when a man