New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1890-06-04
JOHNNY FULToN's WAYS.
A Oueera Character Who Had Peculiar
Way Helping Himself and En-
PERTAINING His Friends.

pertaining His Friends.
The oil town of Petrolia, which has
recently been burned, had in its flush
days character in Johnny Fulton.
He was a young man from Kittanning,
Pa, who pretended to practice law,
but he was so very busy having fun
that he had no time to waste in any
other pursuit Fulton never missed
an opportunity to make some one the
victim of a sell of some kind. He was
a wonderfully plausible liar, and it
was a fayorite amusement of his to
take a seat in a lunch-room alongside
of stranger, and while holding him
spellbound with some amazing story
of life in the oil regions, steal the food
off the strangers plate and eat it. He
had acquired great experiences with the
fork in this business, but his success
lay in his skill in weaving a romance
that riyeted the listeners attention to
"a degree which made the pilfering of
potato or spoonful of beans from
his plate an easy matter.
One day he bamboozled a farmer out
of an entire barrel of cider with the
same facility that he would have har-
pooned biscuit off of his plate.
AT this time the mud was hardly
less than two feet deep on the streets
OF the town. The farmer made his ap-
pearance with a barrel of cider on his
wagon seeking a purchaser for it.
Fulton hailed him and began negotia-
tons for the cider, which, he said, was
of much more Importance to him than
the price. The price, in fact, was no
object. He said he was about to open
new store and he intended to treat
his friends to the cider as card for
custom, ':a sort of free blow to every
body.n
After being assured by the farmer
that the cider was the best that could
be made he accepted the terms and
volunteered to pay 81 extra if the
farmer delivered the cider in the store
tapped and on a box ready for bust
ness. The farmer wrestled with the
barrel for nearly an hour before he
got it through the mud to the side
walk. Fulton required him to carry
water from the creek and wash the mud
off the barrel before rolling it into the
vacant room where he said he intend
ed to open large stock of goods.
The farmer finally got a faucet into
the barrel, rolled it on a box, and then
Fulton began to call in his friends.
Every body who passed along the
street was urged to come in and par
take.
You won't mind drawing off the
cider for the boys" he remarked in his
glib and oily way land then I will
have the pleasure of introducing you
to few Of my friends.n
AS the crowd filed in Fulton would
receive them with flourish, and. say:
Mr.. Jones, this is Farmer Wayback.
Farmer Wayback, shake hands with
Mr.. Smith" In this way he introduced
Tom Dick and Harry until the demand
for the farmers services at the faucet
became too great to waste any time on
mere civilities. It was all Farmer
Wayback' could do to twist the faucet
and keep the empty cups filled.
Fulton drank deeply himself and en-
hvened the occasion with piquant re-
marks, to the effect that the expense
could go hang when it came to open
ing new store and doing the square
thing by the boys. He told the farmer
the cider was great success and he
could bring in barrel on the same
terms every day for a week and two on
Sunday if it was as good as the present
article. He was going to pour liba-
ton to every man, woman and child
that came along-if it took all the cider
IN Butler county.
It never occurred to the farmer to
ask such a liberal. whole-souled young
man for, a settlement, and Fulton con-
tinued to shower his bounty upon the
crowd of loafers until the cider began
to get low in the barrel. This was the
signal for him to quietly retire from
the festive scene and seek seclusion
elsewhere.
The farmer ladled out the cider as
long as it lasted, and when the last
dipperful had been yielded up the
crowd also forsook him and left him
holding the empty barrel on the box
and vainly waiting for Fulton's return.
After waiting until dark, and the
young man came not, he rolled the
barrel into the wagon and, taking
seat astride of it, drove away with the
remark:
If that darned euss gifts this barrel
he'll be smarter than l am. b'goshr'-
N. 7. World. 81"