Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1890-02-01
HONEST CARL puNpER.
Things the Old Gentleman "Caught On To-
While In Retirement.

While In Retirement.
"Welll well!" exclaimed Sergeant
Bendall in great surprise, as Carl Dun
der softly entered tho Woodbridge
street station Saturday afternoon. II
thought you had started for Germany
sure"
Not oxactly," replied Mr.. Dunder,
as he blew his nose with great compla-
cency.
"But whore have You been?"
Sergeant, vhas some grconhorns?"
"You don't look to be-"
"If some COW meets mo on der street.
would she take me for hay?"
Hardly"
eff you vhas some confidence man
would you try to play game on me?"
81 don't think so. But what do you
mean by all this?"
Sergeant, used to be like some cab
bage-head. Eaferypody beats me.
Eaferypody laughs at me, und like
to go back to Shermany. Dis yhas all
shanged now"
"How?"
"Vhell, 1 keeps quiet for der last six
weeks und get posted. If somepody can
make fun of mo now l like to see him
do it. / vhas right onto all der tricks
you eafcr heard of, und l can spot a
sharper two blocks away. You won't
haf to tell me any more to shump into
dot river"
"Im rejoiced at the nows. NOW tell
me who posted you"
ga feller from New York. He takes
me in class all alone for fifteen dollars
per week. How vhas dot, eh?"
And he threw up his right arm and
made long jump sideways, knocking a
chair over and soaring boy out of q
years growth.
'"That's pretty good What kind Of a
movement do you call it?"
''Dot vhas a nickel-plate movement,
to be practiced if man shumps oudt Of
der alley to hit you with sand-club.
When dot club comes down you vhas
ten feet away. Dot probably saves my
life one tousand times"
"What else?"
"Vhell, if tief comes aroundt can
spot him like grease rolling off log"
"How?'
'He carries his left hand in his
pocket, und can't look you in der face.
can pick 'em oudt on der street by der
dozen"
"That'sa good thing, and you ought
to start detective bureau. Anything
else?'
II should shmile! If you vhas some
picl1poclset, where you look for my
money, ,eh?"
I'm your breast-pocllet."
$50? Ha! ha! ha! Dot vhas another
trick! put my handkerchief oop here,
und my wallet in my coat-tail pocket,
und if some tief goes to rob me he gets
nottings. Dot probably safes me two
million dollars"
Eyes. Any thing more?'
''Vhell, suppose vhas in Chicago und
a bunllo man likes to make me his vic,
tim. If it vhas you, vhas would you
do?"
81 don't know
''Ha! ha! ha! 1t pays me to learn dot
1t safes me tousands of dollars. shust
wink at him-so, und say: How vhas
coons to-day?' und off he goes. Dot
makes him understand vhas on to del
racket"
81 see. What else?"
Suppose you vhas going home al
night, und robber steps oudtund wants
your money or your life? How would
you do?"
Give him my money, of course"
"You would, eh? Ha! ha! ha! Dot
shows who vhas greenhorns! shouldn't
do dot vhay. l should open my umbrella
und hold it before me und cry 'firer as
|
you if you hold an umbrella oudt.
know lots of odder things, but haf nc
more time to-day. / come down to gil
you some complaints. Somepody stole
twenty-five dollars from me last night,
und dot feller from New York yhas lost
He goes oudt to walk around leedle by
himself, und being a stranger he vhas
all mixed oop und can't find his way
back"
"Ah! Didn't you lose coat, too?"
"Yes. 1t vhas behind der door, und
somepody takes coat und money, too"
"Come this way"
He led him into the lookup, halted
him at one of the cells, and asked him
if he knew the occupant.
"Vhy, he vhas my trainer.' exclaimed
Mr. Dunder. "How he comes in here:
Vhas he some lost shild?"
HE got your coat and money. We
have the coat and most of the cash
How do you tell a thief Mr.. Dunder?"
But Mr.. Dunder didn't reply. His
hair stood ap, his eyes bulged out, anG
he walked out of the station like mar
going somewhere in nightmare. y
Detroit Free Press.