New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1890-11-23
NOTES ON SOCIETY.
MANNERS AND McALLISTER.


TO the Editor of The Tribune.
Sir: "You cannot make grapes Of thorns nor MS
| Of thistlcs.'
Pardon me for intruding myself upon your notice
but the papers Of An Ex-Diplomatist' In the Gun
! day Tribune on Ward McAlllster's book CD and 10
days on Women and Courtesy impel to write ana eA'
press my appreciation of his wise and Just cr'ci'"s
on the decline OF American manners. EN'DipV
matst' Is In measure, correct when he Attributes
1t &c the teachings of Ward McAlser and his ilk bnl
not altogether There has been during the past hileen
years in New-York no other standard OF fitness ior
good society than that of money, money only nothing
but cash or the reputation Of having 1t. To the " En-
Diplomast,' judging from his writings, New-fofK
must appear as 1t does 10 many Others; that we ho
longer have any society here We have SUCCESSION
Of shows that Ward McAllister and his disciples call
society to which the tickets of admission are hne
gowns and fine equipages.
"Ex Dipomatist, speaks of mannerisms that these
society people call good form" could record
some that he would find il difficult to credit. dld
not when they were told to me, but after spending
last winter here after niDetecn years absence am
prepared for any absurd manifestation of l-breedng
being characterized good FORM" Allow me 10
instance two or three that know to be aD-
soluely true in every detail. ! know lady
who comes. by lneal descent from the first founders
Of this country mot Perim) whose family have In
every generation distinguished themselves In all
branches OF the country's service; they have been
there is not city in the Union that would not receive
In its best circles this lady. She spending
few days last spring at hotel near Newiork In the
immediate vicinity Of the hotel ball was to be gwen
by prominent society lady, An invitation was
sent to the lady staying at the hotel, rather was
given by the hostess in person. a young lady went
out from New York to attend the ball and was disap
pointed by her chaperon. She placed herself in my
herOines charge. This lady rendered her all the at
tenton her Office required and perhaps unguardedly
gave her a little / think she went 80 far as to
make herself agreeable TO her charge. The ball oc
CURED Saturday night After IL O'Clock on Sunday
morning at breakfast, the "chaperon" and charge
did not meet again until they went into town on Mon
day morning, when the charge passed the "chape
ron" on the fcrryboat and failed TO know her.
know a man, descendant of one of our most illus
triOus statesmen, who IS educated refined, handsome
and in every sense gentleman whose banking house
in Wast. has for than fifty years borne an
unimpeachable reputation lie far forgot himself
as to accept an invitation to dine with society
leader" When next he met his hostess she CUT him.
knew two sweet young girls. cultivated and accom-
pshed, and intellectual that they have interested
statesmen with their bright conversation who spent
an evening at society" dancing party. The next
day, on meeting some OF their partners of the dance
Of the evening before they gave them bow Of recoS
milton. The society men" gazed at them without the
culver of eyeld the movement OF muscle; they
appeared parayz ed at the boldness OF these girls
Imagine you the wounded senslbltleS OF tnese
girls, and the indignation OF their chaperon
/ must conclude the Experiences of the Chaperone
with more incident At the Horse Show the
chaperone occupied a seat behind box that contained
party of people whose grandmother had scrubbed the
floors of the chaperons grandmother's house. The
chapereon's hostess of the ball entered the box and
chatted with its occupants. In streetcar the even
ing previous she had met and chatted with the chap
eron. But this evening she studiously kept her
touched, there was no sign OF. recognition.
What are to dol How remedy this state of
Sa ev aSe V nr H say 20 and one Is
obliged to meet them. did not believe these things
when they related to but seasons experience
has proved the truth OF the worst that have heard
But one might be prepared for any display of ignorance
OF good manners IRON people VINO think 1t proper TO
allow their daughters to be brought out" by Ward
his skill at introducing women into society; turned
his Cabinet all ont TO effect it, and failed. He found
that he might lead armies TO victory, manipulate
political parties. and veto notification, but he could
angels fear to tread"
One thing that will 60 far toward improving our
Dplomatists' fearless free, and sharp to puncture.
probe cut at this fostering growth until 1t dies
remember hnen and women as courtly In manner
kings and queens yet tempered by kindness and
sympathy that lent charm the spell OF which re
mains to this day. Where their descendants |
ten you eeowed against ths wall while tyns
borne by insoence and crontery too intoerabe to
be endured.
sueioin an incident. the truth Of which viii not
some point 1t is said that at the Horse Show last
week Mr.. Ward McAlser and one Of his Four Hundred
aSG9a h by pa S Son aH Hs osS
up and seeing who 1t was. and that she did not be-
long to his set turnedh gaze upon HIS companion:
|" calm We. Us don't belong to She NJ. IT, NJ
New-Y0rk Nov. II, 1890.