Tombstone epitaph., 1890-04-19
A MENDIEG BUREAU. WHERE THE TATTEREC AND TORa MAY LIE UP fOR REPAIRS.

Nirkel-I,nttons Scwed on While You
 Wait.
 You will readily guess what n1entlina
 bureau is It is plccc wl!ere tie tau
 tered and torn may lay up fer repairs,
 where the elusive button may be fGsfcnrj
 in it's socket so tight that it stays there
 for the rest of his natural life. w.!cre he
 that hath a torn lining to his over coat may have rev lining put in it's
 place or the old one brought to rlorer
 frame Of mind. where q rip in the coat
 sleeve may be doctoretl in genuinely sc:cn-
 tific style, where the right sort Cf treat
 menS is administered to all sorts and con
 ditions of dilapidated garments.
 reporter stood in front of a big jew.
 elry store, wondering if there re3lly wee
 'great reductions in watches and t,ia-
 monds," when he encountered an ac- | quiIintance of crstwhile seedy but present
 dapper appearance.
 1 ''I've just been to the mending bureau"
 said this worthy, ''and feel like q new
 man. The lining of my coat had slipped
 its moorinSs, and every time put on the coat l swore new and attractive oaths
 There was fringe on my trouser les. My
 cuffs were pinned on. My pants were
 supported only by shoe string and
 piece ot clothes line. Suspender buttons
 had none. There were only two buttons
 on my vest, and I kept it on with d bent
 hairpin. If had sneezed hard should
 have stood pantless and fOrlorn before Q
 gaping, j.bing world.
 OFFICIATING GOOD ANGELS.
 "While in this sorry plight found this
 morning circular of the mending bureau.
 It was sent to me by some special dispen-
 satlon of pitying providence. l went to |. the mendng bureau and stayed twenty
 minutes. They did not repair me com
 pletely, Tor am modest man. and the ofiiciatlng angels arc all of the gentler sex,
 but my cont lining is in state of perfec- ton that fills me with admiration Nv cuffs arc now properly attached to their buttons. My vest displays a Gootlly array of buttons upon it's facade am going home, where I shall go to bed and send n boy down to the mending bureau with those articles of apparel, the mending of which cannot well be done in my pres ence," an so saying the mended and happy man vanished.
 The reporter felt his external raiment all over, but failed to find anything for the mending bureau to experiment upon. Finally he bethought him that there was O'AO OhC OublOil lLt or HIS Trllc6 Albert coct. What do they have those two buttons on the back of a coat for, anyhow? The absence of one of the duo of buttons had caused the reporter much annoyance for several weeks. It detracted from the symmetry of his figure, und caused him to walk lc1 sided. Relief was nt hand The reporter sought the mending bureau. As yet it consists of single good sized room, light and airy, and containing sewing machines, work tables and chairs Two or three middle aged ladies and three or four young ladies were seated about the room, busily plying the needle. One was threading q needle, and she performed that intricate opera tion so quickly and neatly that it made the reporter enviOus as he recalled past struggles of his own. A tall young lady with an amused expression in her eloouent dark eyes asked the blushing reporter what he wished to have mended He re- strained an inclination to say that his heart had suffered compound fracture, and coyly explained that another button on his coat tails was the essential to his happiness. The young lady smiled and asked the reporter to remove his coat. Being an unmarried man, unused to feminine society, he blushed like a red, red rose; then, remembering with glad ness that he had put on his pink striped shirt in the morning, he took courage, took of his coat and accepted proffered chair. The other ladies kept on sewing and pad no attention to the customer.
 TIE CONVENIENT BUREAU.
 There were two other customers in the room, both minus coats. One was having n button sewed on his shirt cuff, and the Of h0r h01 hiC mn fOy. I,2 ladies sewed rapidly and the three con tracts were soon completed. The re- porter was assisted into his coa: by the tall, dark eyed young Indy. This alone was worth the price of admission, and live cents was nn that was charged for the replacing of the button, for which the assurance was given that it would stay as long as the coat were worn.
 "We have no regular scale of prices as yet" said the manageress of the ''as the mending bureaus has only been running few days. It is the first institution of the kind in the west, though there is one in New York hat has ElE 1e a good deal of money. We thought that there was a demand for )urcan where the mending of underwear ;ould be done with neatness and dispatch. Single gentlemen will appreciate the con- Tenience of bureau where their clothes Ire looked after in good, homclke way. Ladies who gre overburdcncd with the arcs of housekeeping will also find tho ,urcau convenient, and we expect to have considerable trade from people who visit he city and stop at the hotels. We in- end to make arrangements whereby for small sum paid weekly or monthly we 'ill keep wardrObes in good repair. We II do quick work and when we sew utton on it stays there every time"
 The reporter realized fully the truth of hose statements. There are careless lorta!s who would quite as leave have heir garments in bad repair but they arc T the minority. The great majority will refer to have their clothes kept in order, nd if they have no women folk of their wn to do that sort of thing, the bureau i'll be q full tledged boon to them. The arninG of stockings will be a special ben it. The average man, who has TO one ) do his !ncnding. now wears pair of )cks two or three times, and then throws lcm away total wrccEs, rent asunder and 'orn through by the disastrous processes laundries- Here at tke bureau socks can 9 alarmed at low rates. and money will 2 saved the wearers thereby. Altogether, le bureau is an institution that merits ragement.-Chicago Herald.
 "Pil=rim's Progress" in Japanese. In "Plgrim's Pro~ress," as translated to Japanese and illustrated ny native Set, 1,,r. 1to T. NF