St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-07-19
CARL DUNDER.
He Was Away to Get His Eye
~, Teeth Cut.

He Was Away to Get His Eye
~, Teeth Cut.
Detroit Free Press.
,"Well, well,s WE'LL" exclaimed Ser
geant sBendall yesterday as corpulent
form darkened the! doorway of the
Woodbridge street. station, and he
looked up tc see Carl Dunder walk in.
ut yhas me, Serfeant."
ayes, / see. Where on earth have
YOU been for the last three months?"
Sergeant, you know me for a long
time.''
"Yes."
81 vhas some hayseeds."
"You WERE"
II vhas so shildlike dot eaferybody
shwindles me-"
"That's true"
"Nothings und nobody vhas twice
alike in dis country"
mo"
'.You advise me to soak my head,
sandpaper my neck, slump in der rifer
or hang myself"
"Yes, l did"
"Vhel, like to oblige you. because
you vhas my frendt, but goes to Puff
ldlO ilIO0CQOs Vu fdoo Ill l. III
falo! All! sergeant. dot PuffaiO vhaS
a great place-a great place. Sooch
shar D peoples you nefer saw. / goes by
my bruder und take some lessons. Dat
vhas der place to get some eyeteeth
cut out. Sergeant, look at me.'
ssI'm looking. You look like differ
ent man from what you did. You've
got foxy look about the eyes, and no.
body would take you for greenhorn
row.
sergeant, 1 vhas more ash one fox-I
wash four foxes Ii anybody can beat
me now 1 like to see him try it. on. /
doan' take $4,000 for what l learned in
Puffalo."
..Well, Pm glad of it. What ails your
fnger%' ~ v
"a joke, then?"
sDer biggest kind of shoke. While
/ vhas in Cleveland der odder day a
stranger comes oOp to me und says Will
/ buy some photographs of Garfeld's
tomb. | hit him SO queek as lightning,
und dot finger vhas broken"
..What did you hit him for?"
because he takes me for some hay
seed. Nobody has tomb until he vhas
dead.''
but Garfield is dead"
s'Not mooch. Doan' see aboudt him
in der papers all der time. Doan' it say
dot he shall veto dot silver bill"
.'rhat's Harrison; You'll have got the
two mixed up"
.You doan' say me! Vhas dot posi-
Bile! Vhas it Ben Harrison who vhas
president, instead of Ben Garfield"
{ ''Of course"
.'Great scots. Und dot Teller vhas all
right. und I almost killed him! If Gar
field vhas dead | doan' remember it.
tVhell! Well! make oop for it, how
lever"
3"How?"
t.On der train met man who vhas
hard pop. He takes me for a sucker.
He beliefs he can swhindle me like
Iseexty. He has watch and wants to
lseil him und get money to go by his
Imudder's dying bedstead. He ask me
lfooty dollar.'
"'And you paid it?"
ssNot mooch! Dot isn't the Puffalo
way! l offer him twenty, und he sheds
some tears und says he shall hat to do
Iit.'sS
lsGot it with you?"
.s'Yes. Here she vhas."
..Got tired, | see, and stopped. Wheels
loose, too. Silver plate on a nickel
case. Worth S. bushel when the mar
ket isn't glutted. Mr.. Dunder, it was a
swindle."
"Noa"
HE took you in and made fool Of
you. What's in that packageP'
s'Some agency for Michigan. buy
him in PuffaIo."
.sFly screens, eh? Where does the
agency come in? Isn't it like any other
fly screen?"
"She was reversible, you see. l buy
der whole state agency for $25."
"Reversible? How?"
"Voy, if you hat dis side oudt der
flies can't come in. If you have dis side
oudt the bugs und mosquitoes can't
come in"
'.And he made you believe thatp'
"Belief that! Can't see NIT my two
eyes?"
"Yes, but look at that screen in the
window. Doesn't one side keep every