The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-04-20
BRIGHT BITS.

Why is Bliffer such a tyrart to everybody
around him?''
1T must be because he is small and weak.
Chicago Times.
EN-Gov. CORNELL Of New York seems to have
disappeared as completely as If he had been
running on republican ticket at the spring
election Washington Post
SOME MEN are bachelors from necessity. They
love all women somuch that they cannot do
the rest injustice by loving any one woman ex-
clusiveiy. -SomerUtILe Journal
TRUNBLB TO office boy)-Can you tell me if
the sporting editor is in his office!
Office Boyle all, got any offs. He's out
side marking the base ball score on the bulletin.
Pittsburg Press.
MISS F.-Why. what is the matter with little
Mabel?
Ethel Whose father has just made his third
matrimonial venture)-O, never mind her She
Racket.
Now, children" said the good man. 81 have
told you where the good boys GO and where
the bad boys go. Which would you choosey"
Please sir, I'd rather go to the circus, - an
swered the little fellow in the back seat.-PHI-
ddetphid Times.
AIIcE-O, Maud, have had some tickets for
to-night's concert given me. Shall you be en-
gagged this evening.
Maud thinkit quite likely. if Mr. Getthare
makes as much progress toward proposing as
-
MRs. SIMPLEx-You say the steamer nearly
ran into an iceberg? Dear me! How did you
escape?
Mr. Hatchett-Three pairs of Chicago lovers
going to Paris stood ON the forecastle, and
melted it before we reached 1t. 1t was a mar
row escape. -LotceU Mail
MRS. FANaLE-Lizzle, what time was il when
that young man left last night!
Lizzie-About II. mamma
Mrs. Fangle-Now, Lizzie, it was at least two
hours later that, for distinctly heard him say,
as you both went to the door, 'Just one, Liz.
ze," You can't fool your mother
MAMMA, I know the gentleman's name that
called to see Aunt Ellie last night, and nobody
told me either"
We'll, then, what is it. Bobbie?''
way, George don't. heard her say George
don't in the paror four or five times hand-run-
ming. That's what his name is. ''-PhtLudelphtn
Times.
SUIroR Ito her father,-Sir, l love the very
ground your daughter treads on.
Father (grimly)-Well, young man. you amt
the first party that's had an attachment for it ;
Howsumever, if you love it well enough to
come here and help pay up the mortgage on it,
like jacob did, you kin marry Sarah.-M.tn-
sey's Weekly
You've LADY soon to be married, and wearing
an apron from her trouSSeau)-It is charming
but not very practical
Cook Why not? That is just the sort of
apron that ladies' wear on the stage
Young Lady-But there they only pretend to
cook.
Cook-And isn't it Just so with young mar
ried women.-Boston Budget.
Nor AN ELEVATED OPINION - Talkatiye
Stranger lin elevated tram, reading paper
What do you think of this plan for a new coin
age, to show the head of each President on some
coinl
Disguised Republican-Wouldn't do They
could never get in the present one.
Talkative Stranger-Why not?
Disguised Republican-We've stopped coming
half cents.-Puck.
''AND when I am your wife you will not want
a latch key"
Not even a key-ring, darling"
You won't smoker
Not so much as a cigarette"
Nor drink"
mot for the world. And 1 here record nv
promises Drawing forth diary he wrote
them on the same leaf that contained his New
Years good NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Courier