Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1890-04-19
THE IMPECUNIOUs CRANK.
How the Life of the Government OIL
cial Is Made Somewhat Burdensome.

Washington would seem TO be the natural
Mecca for queer people. Every person with a
favor to ask, wrong to right, grievance to
bewail or quip or quirk anywhere IN his men,
tai composition is as sure to come to Washing
ton and make his presence felt sooner or later
as water is to run down hill or a convention to
draw up resolutions either for or against the
Blair bill. 1t is thought by many that this city
must have been the scene of the natural evo-
luton OF the word crank" The word itself
never was made. Like the wel-known and
equally husky character who has been read about
and laughed over for so long the word never
was horned. it just growed' 1t had a pur-
pose to serve, place to I'LL and it is doing it's
duty even better than some men. If the time
ever comes when It's work is completed may it
rest In peace and NAV people say over what is
left OF 1t Thou hast done thy duty we'll"
CHOSEN VICTIMS OF CRANKs.
The natural victim of members OF the genus
crank is the government official. At his door
the crank gathereth himself early and stayeth
late, nor will he leave until he has accom-
pllshed his fell purpose, whatever it may be in
his own individual case. A STAR reporter re-
Gently had occasion to call IN his daily rounds
upon a gentleman well known in official life
here and who, on account of the position he
occupies. Is one of the most popular victims of
people who have fayOrs TO ask As the re-
porter knocked at the door he was greeted
with balf-hearted invitation to enter and
found MIR. Y, the aforementioned official.
fairly in the clutch of one such specimen
The other caller was even seedier than
the reporter. At first sight he appeared
to belong to the class Of the shabby
genteeL. A closer inspection proved
that he was only shabby without being genteel
His coat was greasy and polished while his
trousers looked as though they were edged
around the ground end with strip of fringe.
Inc othclal seemed more pleased to see tine
reporter than did he Of the favors. as If he saw
relief force in the person of the scribe. But
there was no hope for him. The man would
finish his story. In a voice that was husky
from the weight of his breath he Was telling
his tale OF woe.
HIS PLEA FOR AID.
'Sir," said he, Il am a gentleman of educa-
ton and polish and a college graduate. and it
Ill becomes one of my early training and sur
roundings to be a seeker for your bounty Yet
L stand IN need of S7.3S. BY constant applica-
ton 70 the methods | am now using l have sue
ceeded IN raising Ia. l would take it as
quite kindness If you would make up the de-
hciency. You do not know me. il is true, but [
know you, and II you but realize the depth of
the respect and admiration which entertain
FOR you am sure that temporary financial ell
cOuragement would be forthcoming" In firm
and expressive terms Mr.. y. declined to accom-
mOdate him. More requests followed and in
turn were followed by az many refusals
lie of the polished coat and manners forth
with became obstreperous in MS demands.
CLAIM ON SOCIETY.
"Why should l not receive assistance?" said
he. 'In days before the war when was a
man of vast resources did not lend money to
men who used the proceeds Of nv bounty to
get into Congress. and now they sit at their ease
under the great white dome up there. Do you
suppose from the whole kit and caboode of
them l could resurrect as much as $40! Nary
greeny have l been able TO get from those
lngrates. AS result you see to what ex-
tremitles / have come. My health. once
so strong, Is now wrecked and cannot receive
suitable treatment. Physicians tell me | am
suffering from Eania-a -potu, whatever that
means, and should be pleased TO receive pc
cuniary assistance from so good as you. "
More regrets and refusals followed Finally
Mr.. y remarked: my dear friend, if. as you
say, you are suffering physically advise you
to seek assistance from free dispensary."
Sir, said the needy one, with a great ac-
cession of dignity. Il have worn one of those
blamed things for the last three months and it
hasn't done id bit of good Good day, sir ("
Then he left.