The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1890-06-21
COLONEL AND |.

| WI oStNhSi eAu ~ INV Ou kh
shale road betwixt the house and III,
barn, and this is what happened:
Colonel walked slowly rs be saw mt
coming, md then with sidclong mo-
ton touched tiny clothes gently ard ex
pressed himself this way-that is, ate,
this manner, in hisown language: "Do
you geo that lovely robin on that bush I
intend to eat him fol my breakfast.
He is fat, and evidently green abou!
cats. don't think no is over one year
old-rrobably last years nesting.
You see the feathers arc very bright.
tle will make delicious meal to
take before l come into tho house
for tho milk you will put in the
saucer for me-" Colonel" said
l., "yOu arc a cotd.blooded wretch to
talk in that manner about a lovely
| robin. Just hear him sing. How he
pours his whole soul out in music. We
couldn't possibly get along without the
birds. They are half OF summer to US.
1t is positively crime for yon TO 1nur.
der them inst tn crafty your carniver-
Gus TASTE" YES" said tho Colonel,
"he is something Of singer. I admire
good voice myself. Did you hear liz
last night down by the fountain? There
were six OF US, and we had quite n con.
cert. II there ig anything cats excel In
it is concert music; and wo had some of
tJ1l L..SY narfprt,,nrs ~ tn e.,
robin music is fair in its way. 1t iudi.
| cates good chests, and that Is the best
part OF robin, full, and meaty, and
sweet. You should taste it." The
Colonel cracked his tail on the
shalo BY way Of emphasis, and
| bluntly told him once more
that l considered ! him a savage
to kill and eat robins. Every WELL" said
he, "do you see those beautiful lambs
over the fence? How lovely they are!
How they do enjoy themselves! How
their mothers love them! lneyer saw
anything prettier than their gambols
and pranks. 1t is equal to kittens and
babies. But why do you raise 80 many
Of them? And, ali! there is just the
lovelirst calf in the barn that ever saw.
1t can't sing, but it can talk almost as
well AS cam Then Colonel winked,
aud blinked, and imagined he brushed
away teur. as lie looked up and said:
"What has become OF all lust years
calves and lambs? You know too how
you cutled me once for catching
chicken; now do tell me what you did
with those dear little speckled ones thut
grew SO fat early last year? You called
them broilers; what is q broier?"
Colonel actually looked wicked as
he shut up one eye and theu
looked over at the robin and then
back at me out Of the corner of the
other. ! said: "Colouel, see here now;
you know as we'll as I do what we raise
lambs for, and chickens and calves. We
are not like cats. We need meat to en-.
able US to rule the world and be strong
and wise and" "And good" sug.
sested Colonel. l. was net.led, not to
say vexed, at the evident insinuations
on human nature. but could not see my
way to say 60, go said: "But, Colonel,
you know God nude us last, and gave
us the cattle on a thousand hills" $50
lar as ! have read" said Colonel, look
ing Tor all the world like Ben Butler ad.
dressing criminal with his one eye-I
haven seen him since the doctors have
spoiled his obliquity-''so far rs I have
read, man made pitiful job OF it before
some OF III stepped in to help him.
There is tho dog, for instance, and the
horse, and tho OK and your humble ser
want, the cat. What could you ever
have amounted to, but for us? And if
We were to desert you, what could you
do today" But, Colonel" said l,
I'VE do not eat You cats" "Do you
know Why" said he, "ior no other rea-
son in the world but that we have got
into your religion. You are the most
Buperstitious OF all animals, and are
afraid OF us. You are afraid to kill
cat. Yes, you arc. You think We will
haunt you, and we will. Just try mince
pie for supper and you shall see black
cats sitting on your stomach in the night
and clawing at your vitals, We have
got this matter fixed. As for the COW,
she gives you milk MI her life, and then
you eat her on your tables. the papers
say some horses are going to be.roasted
by you.s, And that robin is really no
safer than the rest. He dare not
build d nest Oh your land, or
some little whipper,snapper Of
scientist will want . bin for his
collection. Poor bird! I pity him to
the ends Of my fingers" And you could
see the trnces Of bis claws on the gravel.
But he purred around me, rubbing al
fectionately in apito Of his logic, while
stopped over to rub his eloquent spine.
When we had winked and 6linked over
the matter considerably, suggested to
him that he hardly appreciated the DIFF.
ference between human folk and ami
mails; that VIC were the special pets OF
the creator, with some special rights; at
which he showed his teeth and suggest
ed that do that sort Of talking where
his cousins lived, the tigers and leopards,
and would see.who had the rights. AS
for rights, those had them who could
get them, and the same ones could not
boss all creation. He had some rights
over the rodents, and exercised
them freely; but as for dogs that was
different. Human beings probably had
some moral right to behave themselves
and set a good example Of mercy and
decency TO the rest Of :creation-a right
he believed they were not fond OF exer.
cising. Cats were not eaten, but they
had a hard time OF it on tho average.
They would be glad to see any improve
mcnt IN human beings, because animals
went up or down according to the PEG.
pie they associated with. The hardest
lot Of cat was to DO compelled to asso-
ciate with vulgar family. as for man
being a pet Of the diety lie had read that
the Egyptians worshiped cats, Gods
with claws he had no admiration for,
even though Of his own kin; nor did be
believein being made the victim oieithel
gods or men. LII HlE
Colonel deliberately stepped to q tree
near us and sharpened his claws. 1t was
Il rucnaatfve 0rf What an, imrnanee