Thomas County cat., 1890-05-01
PITH AND POINT.

AAA AAND OlN1s
BLACK art-charcoal sketch.
The love-sick maiden is almost alwsys
too small for her sighs.
CHICAGo's big outwitting New
York in the worlds fair contest.
The cats purr is the sign of peace.
The ROSTERS spur is an emblem of
war.
NATURE has wisely arranged matters
so that man can neither pat his own
back nor kick himself
To KNOW how to wait is the secret of
hope to have time to wait long
enough, is the hope of success.
A RECENT novel in flexible covers is
creating q great sensation A Bur
ington woman uses it to spank her
children with.
TEAcHER-Now, my children, we will
parse the sentence. John refused the
pie. Tommy Jones, what is John?
Tommy-A darned fool.
A GOOD instance of absence of mind
was an editor quoting from a rival
paper one of his own articles, and head
ing it, ~Wretched Attempt at Wit!'
CHoLLY-I am practicing on the
typewriter every day now. Mollie-
thought there was remarkable i'm
provement in your courting here lately,
YEAsT-What's Smithers playing in
now? Crimsonbeak-Ha Does
he enter into the spirit OF the piece?"
"Oh, yes; he is taking the part of the
Ghost"
"OF what nationality is your husband,
Mrs. Flaherty?" Faith, and l don't
just know. He was born in England
but he has lived all his life in this
country"
ANGRY subscriber am mad oil the,
way through, and I want my paper
stopped. Editor r-Yes, sir; do you want
70 pay what You owe? Angry subscrib-
er-No; l amt mad enough for that.
TRAMP-Can you give me bite to
eat, madam? Minister'S wife We
haven't bite in the house. A donation
party swooped down on us last night
and cleaned US out of everything but
the furniture.
EDITH don't like electric light in
a house. Jack-Why? Edith-because
it can be turned on so unexpectedly by
pa, for instance. Jack ?-Well, let
go out on the piazza. The moon
won't play us any trick.
SUNDAY.sCHooL teacher - Willie.
how would you feel if you should ask
somebody for bread and be given a
stone? Willie "a jewelers. son)-If it
was no better than the one on your
shirt front I'd feel awful.
DURING wifely call: Mrs. Wiggers
What is that thing, William? Mr..
Wiggers = Why, mother, that's a
ahem-well, you know; why, that's my
new debating machine. Mrs Wiggers
oh! l was afraid for a minute it was
one of those type-writers.
De SNooKs is your pretty little
friend much of an artistic? Rival Belle
original about her, she
copies everything she does De Snooks
is that so? Rival Belle (bitterly,---
Yes, don't believe she can draw her
own breath without using tracing
paper.
Mrs. DUsKY-Am dem de black
you told me "abOut buyin?"
Miss Saffron-Yes, dem is de ones,
Cicely; an dey only cos "seventy-five
cents" Am dey silk?" "Not 'zactly,
but dey're ies' as good" AN will dey
wash. Dat don know; Use only had
'em fo' weeks"
Great editor-I think it would be q
good idea to print our circulation at the
head of our editorial page. What's the
of this country? Business
About 7O,O0O,OOO. Great
editor-Well, we'll not claim a circu-
lation of over 6O,OOO,OOO. No use in
being hoggish.
A DREADFUL POSSIBILITY.
The lands OF the Sioux
Are open, 'tis trioux,
To the hardy white settler who likes oil things
niouX;
But what will he dioux
When the frolicsome Sioux
Swoops down on him, scalp5 him, and chops
him in tioux?
-(hic01O M0iI