davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1890-08-30

Little Dot-Ob, mamma, the organ
grinders monkey is at the window, an
he has little round box In his hand
Mamma Well, my pet, what do you
think he wants?
Little Dot (after q glance at the
orqsn-grinder)EI dess he wants to bor-
row some soap.-NelC York Weekly.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1890-08-30

"How do you reckon families aver
age In this country" asked woman Of
the census enumeration. Five and 3
small fraction over," was the reply. ST
see; and my husband is the small frac-
ton over In this family.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1890-08-30

winks-"Catch me going to Mount Fash
ion another summer"
Minks-"Hot there"
Winks-''No. Cold enough for blankets
every night
Minks-''Then what was the matter with
it2"
winks-''They didn't have the blankets"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1890-08-30

he. Man is the only animal thas laughs,
bat it isn't necessary for you to laugh g
the time.
She: Man is also the only animal that
smiles, but it isn't necessary for you TO
smile as often as you do.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1890-08-30

Miss Calder: Why is it that Miss Long
out is always going to the chiropodist's?
Miss Gossip: don't know, but she has been
in society for 10 seasons now, and 1 suspect
that these visits you speak of form her only
opportunity to have a man at her feet.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1890-08-30

The popularity of Dobbins' Electric Soap
is that it acts right on the dirt and stairs IN
clothes and makes them pure as saotc, at the
same time it preserves the clothes, and makes
them keep clean longer. Have your grocer
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1890-08-30

An Echo.-'When do you do your best
work, Mr.. Cynicus?"
Mr.. Cynicus: 'sNeverI There is no mar
ket forit."
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1890-08-30

$50 you think he really loves your ST
am sure of it. He does nothing but quarrel
with me every time we meet"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1890-08-30

New Reporter-"Anythine for me to-day2'
City Editor New York daily)-'sNothing
special. Just walk up and down Broadway,
and write up the pavement explosions"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1890-08-30

The colored barber with dull razor is Of
ten engaged in cutting scrapes.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1890-08-30

Oddly enough we call them grand-stands,
when they are built expressly for US to sit
down upon.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1890-08-30

If delays are dangerous the legal profess
ION contains the pluckiest men in the world.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1890-08-30

PriekIy Ash BiIters is q vegetable COM
poU 1, pure and reliable. Give it trial, it
will help you.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1890-08-30

The man who rides a hobby is the man
who is most apt to deride the hobbies Of 9TH
erS.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1890-08-30

The illegal voter ought to be called Ills
tory" because he repeats himself.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1890-08-30

A New York brewer is raising chickens
down on Long Island and refers to them as
'home brood"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1890-08-30

Until the summer man comes along the
summer girl sits On the boardwalk.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1890-08-30

The revolutionlst in the Argentine Re
public may be said to be putting on airs
Buenos Ayres, as it were.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1890-08-30

''Tis wheat to be remen bered," as grain
specplator observed when viewing pros
pective crop.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1890-08-30

Love is blind, and from the pet names he
uses one would think his articulation sadly
defective also.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1890-08-30

The railroads are now listening to the
moaning of the tied.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1890-08-30

He envied Him.-Smith: See that man
fishing over there?
Jones: Yes, l see him.
Smith: Well, I've been watching him for
the last six hours, and he hasn't had bite.
only wish had his patience.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1890-08-30

A Noman's wardrobe is esteemed by its
Worth rather than its beauty.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1890-08-30

Avoid extremes. man, as well as a bis
cult, can be well-bred without being crusty.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1890-08-30

p. T. Barnum is very rich for a man who
has always had an elephant on hishands.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1890-08-30

Chow can get rid of superfuous hair Mr..
Druggist" Get married, sir.'
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1890-08-30

Some of the census enumerators must have
been born In Padua-
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1890-08-30
Benjamin Peterson's S15, 900.

:. The man who goes to a seashore resort for
change frequently comes home without any.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1890-08-30

The general run of women-when a mouse
comes in the house
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1890-08-30

ATLAS held up the world It is not
stated how much he got out Of the job.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1890-08-30

It may seem strange, but at nearly all the
seaside resorts this seasons you can see q
board walk
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1890-08-30

NECESSITY is the mother of Invention.
and likewise the father Of lies.-PucE
The great West. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1889-18??, 1890-09-05
Fancy's Ferry.

You've crossed his ferry many time. Per
haps you didn't know it.
He seats you in his ferryboat and then begins
to row it.
BE dips his oars so softly that you cannot even
hear them,
know you're near them.
o, Fancy's land looks very grand with struct
ures high and airy,
And bright impossibilities to mislead the I'M
wary,
And presently you find yourself, no matter
what your station,
A-buiding castles in the air, that haven't .
foundation.
And yet it isn't difficult to rear them till
they're higher
Than anything you ever saw in turret or in
spire,
And Fancy seems so wondrous kind he graf.
ifies each notion
You've not whim but is INDUCED through
his extreme devotion.
Old Humdrum-town you left behind seems
sadly uninviting,
With school, and books, and lessons that yOu'r re
tired of reciting.
But 10! what's this? Your castle shakes! Its
walls are all a-crumble!
You stand amid ruined mass, alive, but very
humble.
Then Fancy rows you home again-it doesn't
take a minute;
You wouldn't know-his boats so swift-that
you were really in it.
But-at a word-(with such a shock false
Fancy lands his wherry.
What does he care for foolish folk who daily
cross his ferry?
The great West. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1889-18??, 1890-09-05
Cultivating Sugar Beets.

The following instructions have been
prepared by the Chemical Divisions of
the United States Department of Agri-
culture, which has direct charge of the
sugar interest. for the guidance of those
season with the sugar beets. A copy
of these instructions was enclosed with
every package of sugar beet seed sent
out:
Soil-The soil should be well drained
and with a good exposure to the light.
1t should be of loose texture. easily
pulverized and of average fertility.
Fertilizing - Barn yard manure
should not be applied Immediately be-
fore planting, but if the soil has re-
ceived dressing of well-rotted manure
the previous autumn, which has been
The great West. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1889-18??, 1890-09-05
Inferior Small Tools.

We do not like to discourage pur-
chase of expensive farm machinery.
Farmers are conservative enough in
this respect, and for those who are not,
events have the past few years been
teaching most valuable lessons. But
very many save without economy in
refusing to purchase new, lighter and
more effective small tools for working
the soil. It makes all the difference
in the world for hoelng in the garden
whether the hoe is sharp, light and
easily handled, or dull, heavy and
clumsy. The man who works by the
day and furnishes his own tools under
stands this. The sharpness of his hoes
and their greater efficiency in work
often set the farmers son to thinking
about the mistaken economy his father
exhibits in the tools that he thinks
good enough for his boys to work
with.
The great West. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1889-18??, 1890-09-05
Stock and Dairy Items

It is often supposed that Illuminating
animals don't need cut feed or ground
grain. This is a costly and unreason-
able error. Cattle fed upon whole
grain will waste one-half of it that
passes through undigested. Almost as
much waste occurs with horses. The
finer the feed is ground the better it is.
There Is a farmer who thinks soilin q
COWS will not pay. Well, what is soil
ing. Only giving a plenty of the best
food, nothing more, or less The farm
or soils himself when he dimes on good
beefsteak. peas, beans, tomatoes. good
butter and Strawberries and cream
after the meal, or after every meal.
VIII he say it does not pay to feed
himself we'll, although it costs little
more than corn cake and skinned
milkp
The curing of the cheese depends
upon the presence in it of myriads of
microscopic organisms. Mr.. Adametz,
In an examination of various kinds of
cheese. has found from 80, 600 to 14O,-
600 OF these germs in each grain,
which is equal TO Is grains in weight
and thus one ounce of fresh cheese
may contain more than three mill
The great West. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1889-18??, 1890-09-05
A STRANGE LAND.
Features of Australia-Flowers Without
Odor-No Shade.

Australia is country in which ma
ture has established conditions I'M
known elsewhere saws the Boston
Journal, and where civilization must
adapt itself to surroundings which it
finds novel and strange. 1t is coun-
try full of absurdities in animal, vege-
table. and human life. Its native race,
in point of intelligence and develop
ment of resources, is far below even
the cave-dwellers and the people of the
stone age of Europe. Its animals per-
petuate types which disappeared from
every other part of the globe some
millions of years ago. Its trees and
plants are representative of species
found elsewhere only in chalk and coal
measures.
Hardly anything here has the char
acter and quality of its relations in
other lands. Although the trees and
flowers are chiefly those of the temper
ate zone, the birds are, for the most
part, of the tropics, and fash the gor-
geous colors of the parrot and the
cockatoo through the dull foliage of the
sad-toned eucalyptus. The birds have
no song, and such notes as they possess
seem like wierd echoes from a period
when reptiles were assuming wings
and filing the tree-tops with strange
jargon, before heard only in the
swamps and fens. The flowers have
no scent, while the leaves of every tree
are full of odor. The trees cast no
shade, since every leaf is set at ed ge
against the sun, and shed, not their
leaves, but their bark, which, stripping
off in long scales, exposes the naked
wood beneath, and adds to the ghostly
effect which the forest already holds in
the pallid hues of its foliage The
contour of the country is of one that is
but newly risen from the waves. Its
thousands and thousands of square
miles, level as table and set with no
other growth than the gray eucalyptus,
looks like the uplifted bed of some
great sea and is as monotonous as tho
unrelieved expanse of coast itself.
Here and there are low hills, which
show in their sides and in the country
about them the evidences of ancient
lava flows. Elsewhere are piled up
masses of powders, which show the
long-ago courses of glaciers over the
face of the land. Everything seems
prehistoric, hoary with age, and for
gotten. To the traveller. from other
lands an impression comes that he is
visiting country which had ceased in
Its development long cons ago.
The great West. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1889-18??, 1890-09-05
Mrs. BOWS Sharp Tongue.

Mrs. Mary E. H. G.. Dow walked into
a meeting of the directors of the street
railroad at Dover. N. H., one day. says
a Boston correspondent of the N. Y.
World, and, showing pocketful of the
company's stock, elected herself to the
presidency and other offices. Then
she left the room with her head in the
air.
She became famous throughout New
England, but after two years of rule
the New Hampshire railroad queen de-
cided to forswear railroading and sold
most of her stock. The stockholders
recently held meeting. at which Mrs.
Dow was asked to explain an overissue
of ffty-three shares of stock, and also
how it happened that in the statement
of assets and liabilities she gave tc
Edward P. Shaw 10 whom she sold 260
shares at $50 each, $500 of the indebt.
edness of the company did not appear.
Mrs. Dow did not explain as desired.
but declared that the company now
owes her some 1902 on uncollected
dividends, not to mention bill for the
storage of an omnibus, the ownership
of which the company now repIdiates.
She said the present management 10
running the road.
The officers told her that she had
made $25 on each share she sold, and
intimated that she had gouged the com.
pany in doing so.
Mrs. Dow objected to the issue Of
new stock and to electric cars, saying
that the latter were dangerous in .
thunderstorm.
The meeting ended in a wrangle, but
after Mrs. Dow had gone home the di.
rectorors met in a private office. elected
officers. and fixed things generally to
their satisfaction.
The great West. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1889-18??, 1890-09-05
Sweetheart Robin.

Interlocked boughs of the hawthorn hedge.
How barely you brown twigs glistenI
Whati have you blossoms forgotten the1l
pledge?
Is it not May-time? Listen!
Surely heard bluebird sing,
And smelt the breath of the clover.
What is the word he was Whispering
Whispering over and over?]
Daffadowndilly, how late thou art,
Thou springtimes earliest cOmerl
The gladness of summer is in my heart,
And on my cheek there is summer.
Thrilling me through at the bluebirds' call
AS the sun when it kisses the clover!
cGainst my cheek did q sunbeam fall?
All! why was he bending Over?l
Petals of white from the hawthorn tree
Over the lush grass blowing;
Light is my heart as your breeZes be-
Why surely it can not be showing!
A moment ago the dream-soft skies
Arched above fields of clover!
why did he look me SO full in the eyes?
And why did my head droop over?]
know that heard a bluebird's call;
THAT word for whole hearts hushing1
knew that felt a sunbeam fall:
Ah what on my cheek was brushing?]
The sky showed never sign Of rain;
His eyes-he was bending over!]
And know, though walked in a winter lane
smelt the breath of the clover!
-Harper's Magazine.
The great West. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1889-18??, 1890-09-05
Running Farm Machinery.

Some men, who are otherwise good
farmers, have a constitutional inca
pacity for managing intricate machin-
cry of any kind. More and more the
work Of the farm is done by skill in
the use of implements rather than by
muscle. To some men this work comes
easy and natural More than one
farmer we have known whose natural
bent was toward mechanical pursuits
rather than towards land cultivation.
Some such never took much interest
in farming until the abundance of farm
machinery, often intricate, gave op-
portunity for developing their natural
bent of mind. Such men should de-
vote themselves wholly to the manage
ment of machinery, by going from
farm to farm would earn more money
and feel better than they would to
carry on all kinds of work on farms of
their own, and the greater part of
which they took no interest in.
The great West. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1889-18??, 1890-09-05
Jean Paul Wrote Them.

The last issue of Deutsche Dichtu,,g,
a continental semi-monthly of high lit.
erary standing, contains many hitherto
unpublished aphorisms and letters OF
Jean Paul. Here are some of the for.
mer:
although a man marry but once,
he always has as many wives as chill.
dren. Every child brings his wife a
new mood. Have you three children
you have four wives.
men whose opinions have the weak.
est foundations are least open to con.
viction. Swampy land is not liable to
earthquakes,
"Phantasy looks at pain through a
convex, stoicism through concave,
glass.
The stomach is the greatest pedant.
Spectacles in the darkness-logic with
out feeling.
''Trees in the thin forests are strong
and rough; in thick forests, weak and
shapely. So lonely men are more ro-
bust and unpublished.
1.-The nobler the man, the thicker the
doubt in darkness. The higher the
mountains, the heavier the clouds.
''Only in hot, passionate heads, as in
hot countries, precious stones; in cold
countries, iron.
"A book printed only in capitals is
hard to read; SO life full of Sundays.
Feeling discovers, understanding
recognizes reasons.
THE great man gives short notice
of his coming deed. So the sun. The
more brilliant its beam tho mora sud.
den its setting.
The aged sage is in an air-ship high
above the world. Around him all is
still and dead. Below him lie the
clouds and busy cities. He is fright
ened by his own voice. But around
him is spread all heaven"
The great West. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1889-18??, 1890-09-05
FARM AND HOUSEHOLD.
uints and Suggestions for tbs Busy Rsad-
ing Ruralist
Jtng Flax for It's Feber-Farm Ma
y1dnsry Should b Handled With Skill
i've Your Boys Good Tools-Stock and
airy Poultry Household Hints.
FAX For Fibre.


Whenever Yankees turn their atten-
ton to fax for its fibre we are likely
to make our own linens. Some changes
in the present methods OF growing fax
for seed will be required, but it is a
mistake to suppose that the seed and
fibre may not be valuable from the
same plant 1t should neither be cut
green nor left till dead ripe. In one
case the seed Is immature, and in the
other the fibre is of little value. Flax
must be s0wn pretty thickly for fibre.
This prevents it from branching, and
makes a straight, thin stalk. Land
must be rich enough to grow fax
thirty inches high, but new land does
not bring fibre go good as that which
has been some years cultivated. As a
good deal of the fax grown in thu
West has been sown on raw prairie as
its first crop. this may explain why at
tempts to use the fibre have not been
more successful It has also been
sown very thinly, partly to economic
seed, but more to have the stalks
branch and produce moro grain than
they would growing more closely to-
gether.
The great West. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1889-18??, 1890-09-05
Burning Weed Seeds.

A low, smouldering fire that comes
from burning half-dried weeds is
scarcely ever hot enough to destroy
the terminating power OF their seeds.
Every particle must be consumed, or
some OF the seeds will escape. In a
pile of weeds there is usually carbonic
acid gas at the bottom of the heap when
burning. AS the heat expands the
coverings of the seeds they fall out and
drop down into this stratum of air
where no combustion is possible. AS
heat rises instead of falls, the seeds are
not even destroyed by heat. This ex-
plains why so many weeds come up on
places where the burning of weeds the
year before had been thought COM
plete.
The great West. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1889-18??, 1890-09-05
Scattering Wheat.

There is less scattering wheat by
hew methods Of harvesting. as the self
binder leaves few heads, and unless
the grain is overripe does not thresh
1t in binding. This tends to decrease
the Hessian fly which always breeds
in scattering wheat, that generally
comes up weeks before the time for
sowing the seed. If wheat follows
wheat this scattering grain must be
suppressed, or that fly will breed in it
and destroy the crop.
The great West. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1889-18??, 1890-09-05
Poultry Pickings.

In selling young poultry now, select
out some of the earliest and best, es-
pecially hens, for breeding.
Rub the top of the head and under
each wing of the young poultry with
lard and kerosene mixed well.
It rarely pays to set eggs for ha tch-
ing much after the 1st of June. The
weather is too hot to give good start
to grow.
In every town there are few fami-
lies that will pay little more than
market price for eggs that they know
are fresh.
Goose feathers should be kept sepa-
rate from the duck and chicken feath-
ers. They sell for the highest price in
the market
It is quite an item to provide good
ventilation at night in order to have
the fowls comfortably healthy. But be
careful to avoid draughts.
Where there is no great risk from
thieves, it will be a very good plan to
allow some of the fowls to roost on
the trees or on the fences
Do not feed corn alone during the
summer; it is too heating and fatten-
ing at this time. Use it only in con-
nection with other materials.
In shipping young poultry at this
time see that they are we'll watered
and fed before cooping, and do not
crowd too many into the cOOpS.
The great West. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1889-18??, 1890-09-05

ions Of tho germs. Cheese As days
old has been found to contain as many
as sixty six millions Of these germs to
the ounce. It is thus shown, as has
long been suspected, that the curing OF
cheese is due to the effects upon 1t OF
actively growing organisms.
Good feeding, regularity OF feed
ing. and care to give water only be-
fore feeding, will avoid most OF the
disorders to which horses are subject
at this season. Regularity applies not
only to times, but quantity and kind
of feed. Too much and then too little
feed is injurious. Green food should
always be given fresh and free from
vet. and never when in state OF fer
mentation. The frequent collie of
horses is always caused by injudicious
feeding.