The St. Johns herald., 1890-10-02
"FTyln Pan"

in town, he is certainly the bes
 hearted besides, he is the most re
 liable encyclopedia of human ad
 versailles, which coupled with hi
 loquacious nature, renders him ar
 entertaining individual, especially
 so when he has successfully mani
 pulated the Copper" We found
 him on the Feast ground last night
 in the above condition; he had on
 a new suit of clothes, and was view
 ing the vast throng in philosophi-
 cal manner. Stepping up to him,
 we inquired the cause of his sud
 den affluence. Bob" said he, Il
 might always have been as l now
 am, but on these very grounds is
 where I met my misfortune It
 was a girl" Dropping back into
 his old habits again, he filled his
 pipe from our slender stock, and
 proceeded to give us the following advice. "A man who goes prom enading around old Levin's Park looking for a wife, is a good deal like a prospector hunting for a mine You see them all izZled uD and rigged out in silk, and powder ed and painted wherever her skins shows itself. These surface crop pings look pretty well, but if you locate on the strength of them, you'll.get fooled every time. A wo
 man of that kind is just like a salt ed mine. Don't you take any stock in her. She won't wash If you want to prospect such a location a little further, slide up and take an assay of her conversation. Three per cent of intelligence, twenty five of fashionable etiquette, and the balance can be played straight up for duplicity and conceit. Drop her right away; such rock won't pay to mill. If you got patent for the claim you can bet you'd | never see a dividend come out of it as long as you lived. The assess ments to keep the upper works in repair and the lower levels from eaving in, would land you in the poor-house on lightning express, and soma morning you'd wake up and find your claim located by somebody else"
 Such solid advice induced us to spend a quarter at the Wigwam, and the investment was judicious, as we obtained some more advice.
 "When you find a plain girl in a common sort of dress" continued Pan, "don't leave her. 1 have found one at last. She is not pretty, but then surface indications don't amount to much. Rich streaks of conversational quartz and spurs oH intelligence show up finely the deep CT you go. That's the kind of mine to freeze to. I am going to locate it as soon as I make another win ming, and get out my patent papers, and then I'll have a bonanza to fall back on for the balance of my days. Old fellow, if you think the good claims are all taken up, you're bad ly fooled. The town is full of them, I'm an old timer here, and have seen a good deal, and if my time wasn't taken up with my own mine, I could show you lots of prime To- cations only waiting for some prac- tical man to come along and de- velop. A woman's heart, Bob, is mighty curious thing. Take it all, its spurs, notifications and sinuosi- ties, and it's more of a puzzle and mystery than this San Augustine Feast. Some fellows try to work it, and by pure luck strike it rich right off, in places where experi- enced chaps never supposed there was anything. Getting the title to the property ain't the only thing it's keeping up the proper develop ments and seeing other fellows don't get in and jump your claim. Some of these domestic mines require an