Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1890-03-20

has even proven that Adah lsaacs
Menken never wrote any poetry, and that
Charlotte Cushman didn't break young
mans heart and cause him 10 loose
fortune. and thus turn him 10 drink and
type- setting. And these facts bring this
screed down to the place ii was trying to
reach, the show business
1T hasn't been so long since the pope
issued an order TO a subordinate to make
INQUIRY into the sacrelgious traffic In
spurious relics, and it has been, per con-
sequence. announced that astrological
specimens which have been yanked about
over this coutry aud exhibited as skele-
toas of early Christian martyrs and other
people of that ilk ars nothing more nor
less than articulated and grinning hum
bugs, and bare-faccd frauds. Rome
hash had any martyrs to sell for thirty
years. They have long ago been taken
OIL ofthe market and none are genuine
without the cardinal Wears trade mark
being blown in ON the skull.
Thus it will be seen that people in this
| country who have paid their Is cents ana
other sums. as entrance fees. To go IN and
examine John the Baptist's collar bone,
and peri caranium, and metacarpus, or
| the cervical vertebrp, tibula and pha-
langcs Of ST. Paul; or the femur, 'patella
and tibia of the Apostle Peter;
or the ilium aud ulna and radius
and arpus of Pontius PLATE, on the
general anatomical structure of any oi
these. or Judas lsconot, or any other
/ such people who lived and nourished IN
that early stage of the game have simply
been hilked by immoral Snowman who
were Just as likely to have on exhibition
an astrological aggregation OF everyday
butchers aud bakers and bootblaeks-and
a good deal more So-than to have Il
thumb joint from among the entire dc zen
who footed it through Gallilee with the
Savior. or a toe bone from the whole line
of martyrs from Abel to Ossdwatomie
Brown.
more than that. the chances are that
mo single skeleton exhibited, as a biblical
character. or as some one who got hurt
and burned and boiled. for religions
sake. is even made up from the bones OF
any one man. sut the shameless scamps
who exhibit them NAV have hunted
around in the back yards OF doctors
shops. medical colleges, cannibal kitchens
and other places. and picked up a elavicle
here. and a humerus there. and lumber
yertebr.e some place else, and other ossi-
6cations enough To make a passahle skel-
cton and passed ii off for one individual
Il ha hone
have belonged to Chnaman, another Il
A a missionary. third to a hostler, fourth
4 10 some fellow like Down Went McGinty,
10 fifth to Saratoga belle and Others FRI II
4 Indians and all sorts. with once in VIM
O a small Joint from a dog or monkey Il
e fiji up. Some showmen haven't got an
= conscience AT all
y -
e did YOU ever notice" continued MI
X. that storytelling is contagious
y, Nearly every time when a party of me
/; get together and one of them tells
/, story. il is sure to bring out, That pu'
+, me in mind of story from somebod
Id else. and so the thing goes on I'm il stor,
,o telling begins to rage epidemically, an
a. before the supply all around is exhaust'
.. the stories are pretty sure to beeon
smuttv. The fact is. unfortunately, TIL
the best stories are generally the wor
IN ones-from moral stand point. Stor
d. telling is an art. or rather a gift that
- Unborn. like poetry. Often very pc
n story may be- made passable in the han
he of a master. while frequently good o.
Of is utterly wrecked and ruined In q
hands of a bunglcr. This was the ca
de with that ancient story told when .
IA. pvramids were holes in the ground. al
-le when the sphinx was sucking baby. :
old gentleman was ON his way home
dinner when he met a small boy who
:. coat was of the most abbreviated Kin
-. lie said to the hoy. That's a very sho
coat Of yours" YES" the boy returne
hut it will be- long enough before !
to another" The old gentleman thong
b. this quite funny. and when seated at Z
table he told the incident to his FAM
and guests. i told the boy said !
ed that his coat was very short one, al
NOD the boy replied that it would be a go
while before lac got another Nobo'
laughed. and the old gentleman sal
Well that was funny the way the b
said it"