The Wahpeton times., 1890-02-13
Some Humorous Sports,


without permit, wilted when in
formed that it had a poetic license.
Mollie-"I wonder how the expires.
sion AN arm OF the sea- originated?''
Harry with n tender look)-"Per.
.mps somebody noticed that it hug.
ged the Shore"
While an ounce of wisdom may be
worth n pound Of wit, it doesn't fol-
low that the toot of the man-who.
knows-it-all carries any weight
Time.
Waiter (at the club )-"There is q
lady outside who says that her hus-
band promised to be home early to.
night. All (rising)-"Excuse me a
moment. Boston Budget.
ellis Gain, Our Loss" was the
motto which they told the florist to
reproduce, but he got it accidently
ellis Loss, Our GAIN" and now the
widow is suing for libel.
A Mr.. Webster wants to change the
name of this republic to the United
States of Columbia. Well, why
dosen't he change it? Who's a-hin-
dering?
Mabel-"Hal, dear, what makes
you always callme yourlittle lamb?"
Hal-"Because you always return to
the fold," and he opened his arms
with OH expectant and satisfied look
upon his smiling face.
"No use," exclaimed an impecuni-
GUS debtor to an importunate credi-
tor, "you can'tget blood out ofa tur-
nip" 81 know that, responded the
creditor, "but unless l get that
money I'll have gorefrom a beat. {"
"Your studies are costing me a
great DEAL" said q father to his son
as he reached in his pocket for
money to buy more books with" "
II know it, father" replied the son
with some emotion, as he pocketed
n $40 bill; land don't study very
hard, either.''
Chicago Girl-The horrid thing!
Boston Girl-What's the matter?
Chicago Girl-Why, just got q let
ter from my brother in India. He
shot an elephant the other day, and
writes that if he can kill another he II
have a pnir of slippers made out OF
the hide for me.
Stammerer-"I have b-been t-told,
d-d-doctor, that you h-have q sure
c-cure flor s-stuttering." DR.. Hum
bugh-"Yes; for an advance fee of
$40 will let you into the secret OF
it," "W-well, here's the t-tenner.
Now, how c-can | s-stop m-m-my
stut-tut-er-ing?" "Don't talk. Good
day, sir!"
"Do you feel any change?" said the
minister, solemnly, as he walked back
during the revival meeting and plac-
ed his hand gently on the sailors
shoulder. The sailor, thinking he
was expected to contribute some
thing, quickly ran his hands deep
down into his pockets, then looking g
up into the minister's face with a
blank smile answered, mot del ned
cent, parson.'
A school teacher who lost oil pa
thence with very stupid boy finally
said to the boys father: "Your son
is getting worse and worse every
that bad," demonstrated the partial
parent. "Well, then, he is at least
getting worse and worse every other
day, or say three times a week, said
the teacher.
Visitor-And so you are studying
astronomy at school. Do you like
it? Little Girl-Oh, it's awfully in
teresting. The weather on the moon
isjust like it is here. Visitor (incredu-
lously)-Does your astronomy say
that? Little Girl-Why, yes. 1t
says il there were people ON the moon
they'd roast one day and freeze the
next.-New York Weekly.
Johnny came home from school the
other day very much excited. What
do you think, pa? Joe Steward! one
OF the big boys had an argument
with the teacher about Ct question
in grammar" "What position did
Joe take?" ellis last position was
across a chair, with his face down.
ward!"
Bishop Gullerl-'I believe it is 6
Wisconsin clergyman who has finally
succeeded in converting water into
fuel" Miss Penelope Peachblow-
"That's very well for this world, but
for the next it might add to our com
fort if the clergy could devise soue
means of converting fuel into water
Life.
John-1'm sorry shall he away SO
long, Miss Janet. You don't know
how l hate to say "good-by" to
to you, but l suppose the best ot
friends must part, you know. Janet
oh, yes, and what's the use OF peo'
pie who are nothing to each other
growing sad over separation? That's
the way l look at it.-Munsey's
Weekly. IS.
aye have me sympathy, Mrs.