davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1890-08-27
ONE WAY TO ADVERTISE.

How = Funeral Orator Combined Grief
and Business.
A farmer drove up as we were sitting
on the side porch of the hotel, and after
fastening his horse he came around to
us, and began:
Gentlemen, mebbe it SO happens that
one of you is preacher?"
We put in denial one after another,
and he continued:
wall. the case is this: Ny hired man
died yesterday. He hain't got no friends
around here, and he didn't amount TO
much, but we've got to hold some sort
of funeral over him. Kin airy one Of
you do any talking?"
1t was finally decided that an Ohio
man, who represented windmill man
ufacturer, should do the right thing by
the late lamented, and that afternoon
the landlord carried us out to the farm
house in q wagon. Four or five farmers
had assembled, grave had been dug
down ON some waste land near the rail-
road, and the coffin was the cheapest af-
fair to be had for the money. 1t was
evident that the deceased hadn't laid by
any cash for such an occasion. When
all was ready for the windmall man he
stepped out from his chair, pitched the
tune and we joined in the singing Then
he said:
"My friends, death is a sad thing. It
must come to us all. Our poor friend
here was hardly prepared for death when
he took to his bed. He had been carry
ing water to the stock a long distance
and this exertion pulled him down. Had
his farm been supplied with one of our
None Such windmills, warranted to
pump $50 gallons of water per minute,
this mans life might"
Hold on Bit" interrupted the old
farmer, as he rose up. ~Pve got that
very windmill on this farm, and it was
owing to the blamed thing being out of
order and then falling down that Jim
got his death. This hain't much of a
funeral, gentlemen, but what there is Of
it has got to be straight. Proceed,
brother, and perhaps you'd better skip
windmills and git in suthin' about our
loss bein his gain, the good die young,
death cometh to the high and low, and
SO on. :"
But the windmill man had lost his
grip, and he led of with the "Doxology :"
and closed the business In seven minutes
from the start II New York Sun.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1890-08-27

Ice cold, cream soda at the Contra.
Drug Store, State Circle. for cents 3
glass
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1890-08-27

~ ANTkD-SALEsMkE 10 sen our Eur-
sery Stock. An goods warranted
i. ,As.sss. Permanent, profitable position for
pes,.s.. - man. man. Cash paid weekly. No ex-
=. - necessary. Write for terms. giving
Ys11a - references. G. L. YATES 4 CO..
men, Rochester, NY. -
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1890-08-27
Disrnall,a Clever Turn.

An anecdote illustrating his extreme
tact was told of Disraeli soon after he
was created Earl of Beaconsfield. 1t ap-
pears that not long after his transplanta-
ton to the house of lords Disraeli met a
brother peer in the streets. who asked
him how he liked the change. Like
it7" exclaimed Disraeli, forgetting for
the moment and laundering out the
truth, ~Iike it7 feel as II were dead
and buried alive. Then. seeing the ex-
preston Of disc0mfiture on the peers
face, he added hastily, with courtly
and irresistible smile, -and in the land
Of the blessed.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1890-08-27
Hold tt 20 the Lsxhs.

The man who tells you confidently just
what will cure your colds Is prescribing
Kemp's Balsam this year. In the prepa-
ration Of this remarkable medicine for
coughs and colds no expense is spared to
combine only the best and purest ingre
dents. Hold bottle Of Kemp's Balssm
to the Hight and look through II; notice
the bright, clear look; then compare
with other remedies. Prices Soc. an 81.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1890-08-27
Mlacfrlc Rlffara.

This remedy Is becoming so well known
and 50 popular as to need no special
mention. All who have ussd Electric
Bltters sing the same song OF praise. A
purer medicine does not exist and It is
guaranteed TO do ell that is claimed.
Electric BItters will cure all diseases Of
the Liver and Kidneys, will remove PIm-
pies. BoiIs. Salt Rheum and other afFec-
tions caused by Impure blood. VIII
drive Malaria from the system and pre-
vent as well as cure all Malaria. For
cure Of Headache, Constipation and
Indigestion try Electric Biiters. Entire
satisfaction guaranteed, or money re-
funded. Price 80 cts, and $1.0O per bottle
at J. w. Hodges q Cos Drug store.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1890-08-27
The panrsrous Indian.

Mrs. Bunker (of Boston, = Are the
Indians very dangerous in Kansas City,
colonel?
Colonel Kaw Cher guest Sometimes,
when they're big ones, and not well
braced up. Only two days before left
there the one in front of the tobacco
store in the next block to my house was
tipped over BY the wind, and fell on a
prominent citizen, breaking his arm.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1890-08-27

tOuP Years on CPuCcn0S.
For fifteen years / was afflicted with rheu-
matism, four yearsof which was compelled
10 go on crutches. Words are inadequate TO
express the suffering / endured during that
time. During these fifteen years Of exis-
tence Git was not liying), tried every known
remedy without receiving any beneft. i
finally began on Swift's Specific Is. s. 81,
which from the first gave me relief, and to-
day / am enjoying the best of health, and am
. well man. / candidly believe that 8. 8. 8.
is the best blood purifier on the market to-
day. J. d. TAYLOR, Cuba, Mo.
Treatise on Blood and Skin Diseases mail
cd free. SWIFT SPECIFIC CO., Atlanta Ga
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1890-08-27
VOL. XII. NO. 90

We win insert I'm this column advertise.
nsne OF Wants, For Rent, For Sale, Lost,
sesno, &c., not exceeding four lines. ONE
NEkk. or loss. for 80 Cents.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1890-08-27
A. Wonder Worker.

Mr. Frank Huffman, q young MIN Of
Burlington, OHIO. states that he had been
under the care Of two prominent physi-
clans, and used their treatment until he
was not able 10 get around. They pro-
nounced his case to be Consumption and
Encurable. He was persuaded 70 try DIR.
Kings New Discovery for Consumption.
Coughs and Colds and at that time was
not able to walk across the street without
resting. He found, before he had used
half Of dollar bottle, that he was much
better; he continued to use II and 10 to-
day enjoying good health. IL you have
any Throat, Lung or Chest Trouble try
if. We guarantee satisfaction. Trial
bottle free at ]. Walter Hodges and Co.'S
Drug store.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1890-08-27

@ II you want good cigars and tobacco
60 to Alex. Hart's, Maryland Avenue.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1890-08-27

sI found England far more active than
America on many business matters,
said Mr.. NJ. b. Chnrch, of Grand Rapids,
Mich. my business led me to look up
certain matters of a sanitary nature, and
discovered TO my surprise that in them
England was far ahead of us. For
instance, it is against the law to paper a
room without first removing the old
paper and cleansing the walls. Over
here it is the usual way to paste coat
after coat of paper Just think of the
decaying vegetable and animal matter
in the paste and glue with which room
is coated, and the absorbing power of
the paper itself, and you will not
wonder at the hold of contagious dis
eases. The only sanitary wall is bare
wall, and am going to have the mat
ter presented to several State legislatures
this fall. {" Mr.. Church produced two
curiosities. One was an English copper
twopence of 1893 It was larger and
heavier than q silver dollar. "Not
many of these are now in existence,
said he. They are called striking
pieces, and are used by country people
at the fairs to strike bargains. by pc
culiar custom. Here is another Curl
osity, he continued, producing stick
two feet inlength. and curiously notched
and split -There are seven notches,
said he. "This is a certificate of deposit
issued by the Bank of England over 100
years ago. A stick was taken. notched,
and split One piece was given to the
denositor. who had to produce it and
notch the other piece to get his money.
It defied forgery and fraud. This stick
represented deposit Of $1,000 It and
the striking piece were given me by an
af17cer Of the Bank of England.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1890-12-06
Bedington News.

The squesl of the porker is heard.
Miss Nettie Keller, who has been
on the sick list for the past week, we
are glad to say is convalescing.
Mrs. Geo. Marshall aud daughter,
Mrs. Lemaster, have returned from a
pleasant visit to Hsrper's Ferry.
Mr.. and Mrs. J. V. Quinn and
daughter, Mrs. Ardinger, spent
Thanksgiving with Mrs. r. l.. Lloyd
Miss Mile Mayhem is still on the
sick list.
The young people OF our village
have organized a Literary Society.
President. Mr.. s. o. Davis Vice
Pres, James Ardinger; Secretary
Mr.. NJ. E. Mayhem. Assistant Sec.,
J. Whitmore Treasurer, Miss Lille
Kennedy, Sergeant at Arms, Mr..
Tom Wilson Executive Committee,
Messrs. j. V, Quinn, L. S. Green.
wood and John lands, Met last
Thursday evening and had few reel.
tations and select reading after which
we had a debate, Subject for debate,
Resolved, That the use OF tobacco
should be prohibited by law. Jos.
Whitmore. affirmative, and S. o.
Davis. negative. Judges decided one
for the affirmative and two for the
negative. GAY NELL.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1890-12-06

Parnell is being called to severe
account for his immoral conduct AS
brought out in the O'Shea divorce
suit. 1t is we'll known that high court
life in England is rotten to the core,
moral corruption so great that
childhood Is robbed of every virtue
The Queen aud Court officers aud so.
eiety leaders have husbed more and
greater scandals than ever disgrac
ed the lowest resorts of American
city life. OF course this is no excuse
for Mc. Parn-ii's recceant breA CHI of
faith with his party and fragrant
violation Of the moral law. He is
ten hundred times better than some
Of the English higbrriests who sit in
Judgment against him. It is a
wholesome influence, however, that
rejects an unworthy leadership.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1890-12-06
6reensburg--0pequon Rews.

Mr.. Marshall Wilhelm Is visiting
relatives in Harper's Ferry.
Miss Lizzie Pitzer, of your city, is
the guest Of Miss Fannie Knipe.
Mr.. E. S. Tabler j. improving his
premises, by new ice house. Mr..
James Duvall is ding the work.
Mr.. G. S. Hollida and Bros. are
erecting new corn-crih and granary
at their place near Swan Pond,
Perrell are doiag the work.
| Mrs. Emma Crider, Of Union, Iowa,
, and Mrs. Kate Smith, of Oakville
Pa, who were whiting Mrs. W. II
Myers and Mrs. NJ. :. Horn, have re
turned home.
Louis, little son OF Mr.. Phillip
| Busch, had his leg broken Saturday
by being run over by heavy wagon
loaded with fodder. DR.. Myers, 81
Martinsburg, rendered medical assis
tance.
Rev. d. NJ. Moser, pastor of the
Lutheran Church in Shepherdstown
will preach in Newtown school house
on Sunday, Dee. l4th, at 3 o'cl"cE
p. IN. A cordial invitation is extend
ed to all.
! Maj. Geary. pleasant and well in
formed gentleman, who has been visit
ing Mr.. Harrison Tahler for severa
weeks past. took his departure Wed
nesdav, for Washington, where HI
will spend the winter. Maj. Geary
wore the blue in the 18th Regimen
of Penna. Cavalry, ana is Republi
can from "away down"
~, 400. JOLLY ROVER.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1890-12-06
------------------------
GOOD RESULT OF FARMERS
ALLIANCES.

How long the farmers will hold
together in their alliances Is difficult
to predict. 1t may be that the dis
cnsslous IN which they must take
part will show them that some of the
measures of direct relief on which
they are chiefly depending are i'm
practicable /; and it is conceivable
that this discovery will tend to
demoralize them. That they can
become permanent political force
is not likely, for parties which re.
present only classes cannorlive in q
republic, But several results, by no
means undesirable, may be looked
for as the outcome OF this farmers
uprising.
|. They will secure thorough dis.
cnssion of some important economi-
cal questions. They will force the
people to consider carefully the prob
lem OF the state ownership of the
great public highways. Ii the farm.
ers can stick together and stick to
their text long enough to get this
business thoroughly ventilated they
will do a good service.
ii. They are looseuiDg the bands
of nartisanship and opening the way
for a rational co operation OF citizens
for all desirable purposes 1t is not
improbable that it will lead to
reconstruction of parties.
Ill. They are helping to make an
end Of the seotionalism which has
been a large part OF the capital of
certain class of politicians. "Scarce.
~ a vestige," they say, "of the old
sectional prejudice Of few years
ago is now visible within their ranks.n
The South and the West are coming
into fraternal relations. "The dem.
agogue politician who now attempts
to array sectional prejudice in order
that he may keep farmers equally
divided on important questions" is
admonisbed that he is about to con
front "a superior intelligence that
will soon convince him that his occu-
patton is gone" The farmers move
ment is not, probably, the deluge,
but 1t will prove to be something Of
shower-in some quarters, a cy-
clone-and it will clear the atmos
pierre Washington GLADDEN. in the
Norember Forum.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1890-12-06
News very scarce.
Weather disagreeable.


Weather disagreeable.
Butchering is the order OF the day.
Miss Ella Nihion made flying visit
here Sunday.
Miss Emma Beckley spent Sunday
in Hagerstown.
Mr.. VIM. Barnes, of Nd, was in
our midst on Monday.
We note with sorrow the continued
illness of Miss Nettie Ward.
Mr.. John Lands, Sr.. is having his
house handsomely repaiuted.
Mrs. Beckley and Miss Emma
spent Thanksgiving in Maryland.
Mr.. and Mrs. Daniel Nicely, of
Nipetowu, spent Sunday with her
parents.
Mr.. Joseph Ripple and wife, of
Hagerstown, made flying visit here
Sunday.
Mrs. Tabler, of your city, is spend
ing a few days with her daughter,
Mrs. Emerson.
Mr.. John Lands, ST., who was
spending few days in Pennsylvania,
returned home Saturday.
Preaching at Broad Lane Chapel
tomorrow Sunday night by Rev.
Randall. Sabbath school at the usual
hour.
Mr.. and Mrs. Daniel Startzman, OF
Hagerstown, were in our midst Sun
day the guests of Mr.. and Mrs. Joseph
Lands.
The snowfiakes that were seen fly
ing through the air this week remind
us too well Of the approach of winter.
II, $50. X. AN
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1890-12-06
Williamsport Clippings.

Mrs. j. S. Trammeil and little daugh-
ter, of Martinsburg, W. Va, are visit
ing relatives III this place.
Mr.. John w. Fuss, residing near
this place, killed hog on Tuesday
last that weighed 534 pounds net.
Who can beat it?
The three large trees in front of the
residence of Mrs. Susan Shoop, on
Church street, are for the second time
this year clotned in IA rich green foliage
This is al unu- pal but a very pleasant
sight.
The Hancock Star says. a large bear
was seen in the woods near Round
Top, last week, by George Corhett,
Jr., who made a lively escape. The
farmers have begun . pursuit and
hope TO finally run biuin down.
MIR. David Cushwa, of this county,
and Miss EsteIla Kerns. of Baltimore,
were married at st. Vinrent's Cathn-
lie church toy Rev. Thomas e. Staple,
ton. Owing to the recent death of
the brides mother, only the immedi-
ate family witnessed the ceremony.
a young man named Ritter, of
keedysvllle, this county, was run
over by four-horoe wagon and in
stantiy killed, on Tuesday, near En-
nittsburg, Frederick county. He
was hauling rails for his father. aud
on returning with load, attempted
to check the horses in going down a
hill, when he was knocked down the
heavy wagon passing over his head
crushing his skull. Ifd3lscript.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1890-12-06

CLARKsBURG. w. VA, December
"a syndicate headed by General
G"tf and Congressman &. w. Akin
>On has purchased the ClarkShurg
Telegram, one of the most influential
Republican papers in the state. The
paper has been edited by Mayor w.
f. Richards, and, while advocating
Republican principles, has been at
war with some leaders of the party.
The purchase was made with IA view
"f harmonizing all interests. 1t is
understood that at the end OF bis
term Congressman Atkinson will
assume the tdltorship. In connec
ton with this purchase, the same
parties have also bought Richards
residence and the controlling inter
est in the electric light company
which he owned. Richards term as
mayor expires on January LIST. and
1t is reported that he will leave the
state
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1890-12-06
THE CAUSE OF IRELAND.

The history of Ireland under seven
centuries Of British misrule is an
oft,told story. Everybody who reads
is supposed to be familiar with it.
Yet tina. story is so full of interest
that a page from any c.,apter com
mands attention.
At the reception to the Irish fugi-
tives 10 New York Mr.. Dillon dealt
powerfully with some of Ireland's
contemporaneous history. To illus
trafe the discomfort on the one hand
and the prodigious efforts of the
British Government to preserve the
peace on the other hand. be present
ed few pregnant figures. Forty
years ago, when Ireland had a pop
ulation OF S,500,00O, it cost 81, 900,
900 year to govern that country.
Now with population of 1000, 900
it costs sS,000,000 year.
Irishmen are not constitutioually
" forninst the government" They
have gone out from the Green Isle
to every part of the globe where the
English language is spoken. They
have come in hordes to the United
States. Where they make their
homes they are as tractable as other
men. In this country they blend
easily with our common citizenship
and take deep interest in govern.
ment. 1t is in Ireland that they re,
sist, for there the Government is
steadily turning down the screws to
press the life out of them.
Speaking of TIpperary, where the
recent farcical trials and real blood.
shed took place, Mr.. Dillon told that
it takes 200 policemen, thirty OF
forty spies and 600 troops to hold
down a population of 5000. With
six times the population Of Upper,
airy Wheeling has twenty eight pc
licemen, no spies and no troops.
The cost of governing Ireland is in
itself an indictment of the British
method in that oppressed land.
Harrassed at every turn, denied a
chance to earn living, the Irish
man in Ireland is hard to rule; and
this is much to his credit as man
The harder he makes the job for his
oppressors the sooner his day of de-
llverance will come.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1890-12-06
SATURDAY. DEC. 9Th, 1850.

1t seems unnecessary TO state that
the editor or publisher of paper is
not responsible for the opinions and
expressions of correspondents and
contributors, and very often does
not agree with them or approve OF
them. On all pablic questions It is
the duty of public journal TO allow
free discussion, and the intelligent
reader is at equal liberty to take
any side he pleases or entertain a
different view of his own. Political
", a journal is either of one party OF
another, or Independent OF neutral.
That position applies TO political
principles. Iu party matters and
management paper is free to dis
cuss, criticise or suggest, as seems
best; but the party organizations
its officers aud hold
the power to shape its course and
are responsible for whatever is done
by their authority. The HERALD
has always advocated conservative
and conciliatory course, because thu
Republican party unlike the Demo
cratic party can never be forced
against its will. 1t cah be led, but
never driven. The elements Of the
Republican party of Berkeley Coun.
ty are diverSe,-in the main intellI.
gent and Observation-Disclosures i'll
favor of fairness and honesty and OF
good men and good measures OF
home interest and the general wei
fare than for mere party success
Such men must lead themselves, and
can be influenced 10y no harsh meas
ures or political structures. And IL
this respect we may be allowed tC
point out the Eeak point in the or
ganization of our county committee
1t falls short of exercising that jur
isdiction and authority which wOult
insure more general interest anC
satisfaction. 1t conducts a cam
paign up to tho closing of the polls
after that it ceases to be factor
and all the important means of ap
pointment and management fall in
tn the hands of few There Shnnle
be a permanent committee of tn
best menln each district, who shoul'
meet as body nnder the permauen
county organization, before the nom
inatiOns and after the nominations
BEFORE THE ELECTION AND AFTEl
THE ELECTION, and their maiorit.
recommendations should govern al
appointments and disbursements
and be final in all party matters.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1890-12-06
Broad Lane News.

Cool weather.
Plenty of sickness In our neighbor-
hood.
Mr.. Frank Wiles, Of Ringgold, was
In our midst this week.
Miss EstelIa Tabler, of your city,
paid our village flying visit on Sun
day last.
Preaching at Harmony tomorrow
Sunday morning by Rev. Randall.
Sabbath school at Broad Lane in the
evening at the usual hour.
Mrs. A. Wright and Miss Lula were
the guests of Mrs. r. Lands on Sun.
day evening.
Misses Berthe Smaltz and Ella Nj
hion, of Hedgesville, were in our
midst one day las, week.
Mrs. Fannie Welsh, after spending
week with her parents, returned to
her home In Harrisburg, Saturday.
Miss Dora Lancaster, of William
sport, Nd, is visiting Mrs. S. Lands.
Quite an excellent sermon was de.
livered on Sunday night last, at Broad
Lane Chapel, by the pastor, Rev. l..
r. Randall.
Mr.. Henry Beekley spent Sunday
in Md, the guest Of his brother.
We are sorry to note that Mr..
Samuel Lands is very ill at this writ
ing. His many friends wish him
speedy recovery.
Miss Katie Fleming, who has been
spending few weeks in your city,
returned home Saturday, much to the
delight of her friends.
Mr.. John Lands, Sr., is visiting
friends and relatives In Pennsylvania.
Mrs. X. Nicely, Of Nipetown, spent
Monday with her parents at this place.
What has become of our Needmore
correspondent? We would like to
hear from him again.
u, $50. X. A. N,
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1890-12-06
THE RIGHT SORT OF A WIFE,

One of the baltimore ministers
preached a wholesome sermon on
the above subject Sunday. In the
earlier history of this country and
its customs, a wife was helpmate
and would truly help to build hus-
bands fortune and happiness, start.
ing with nothing but will aud a
way, strong arms and strong hearts.
Now the fortune has to be made be.
fore the young man can start in
marriage lite. This is one reason
of failure, broken credit, aud living
above onr means,-all to keep up
appearances.
"The right sort of wife will have
proper qualities of mind and heart.
She will know something about the
duties of the house.keeper; she will
have a clear and intelligent mind ;
shs will be able to exercise tact in
the management of her affairs. The
right sort of wife will be of an anna
BILE disposition, and will truly love
her husband. Above all, she will be
a Christian, aud will seek to govern
her life SO as to make it pleasing to
God as well as to man. In word,
the right sort ola wife will not be a
mere beauty to be petted, or an ac-
complished idler, or a partner who
brings money but not love, bat a
rue-hearted, tactful woman who
comes to her husband ready and will
ing to do her whole part, who loves
him with love that the years will
not dampen, and who crow us faithful
ness TO him with faithfulness to God.
In such woman the heart of her
husband doth safely trust.'"