The Hot Springs star. (Hot Spings [Hot Springs], Dakota [Dakota Territory, i.e. S.D.]) 1886-189?, 1890-03-07
HuMoR.

woRKs Doth Ways walking beam.
A LIFE in suspense-that Of spider.
A LAUGHING stock-the joker's fund
of humor.
sSouSD as . dollar" doesn't refer TO
paper money, for it has no sound.
The fellow who winds his watch ct
night doesn't always wind It up
sight"
Il DoN'r see how you left by rail-
there are no railroads out there" mo,
but there are plenty Of rails"
IT is inexact TO say that y man is in
clined to he bald. No mans i~nclina-
ton is that way, but rather against il.
Nor very busy: First crange-Hello!
What are you doing here? Second
orange-Nothing; just looking round.
sIF I gave You a cent, Bobbie, what
would YOU do with it," std buy . pos
tal card and write to you for a quar-
ter"
SHE-What a low-cut dress that girl
has on, and what an uglyneck she has?
He-Yes. 1t is certainly open to criti-
cism.
CINCINNATI Man Creading the paper!:
I see that they are closing mp the buck
ct shops. His Wife: that's right.
They should sell their beer in kegs.
Mis-. GAzzAM-Young Mr.. Dolley
dotes wildly on our Amy. Mr.. Gazzam
Yes, my dear. He is just at the age
when young men SOW their wild dotes.
"You must not make fun of yonr
grandfather, Tommy; YOU should al
ways respect gray hairs" "Yes; but
mamma, how can l when he's 40 bald?"
MRs. Shopper ought to get q lit
tie present for Mrs. Spiter's little boy.
I like him very much, but I heartily
dislike his mother. Mrs. Gadder-Buy
the dear little fellow a tin trumpet.
SHoRTpuRsE - Yes, those are nice
trousers, old boy, but aren't they, er, a
"a trife loud? Smallpay-On the
contrary, old boy, they are Of q modest
and retiring disposition-shrunk three
inches in six hours.
DocToR-My dear madam, I'll give
you a tonic that will do you a world of
good. Lonesome Widow-Oh! Doctor,
If You could only prescribe a little
love. Doctor-Really, madam, if 1
were 0OG married.
LAwYER--You say you think the wit
ness is q wholesale liar. What do you
mean by q wholesale liar? Witness
Well, he is q maj who wouldn't tell q
single lie for nickel, but would tell q
dozen for half a dollar.
MRs. NooLY-I see Mrs. Hot-Potter
will he at the Grand next week, sup
ported by o strong company. Mr.,
Nooly-Sho! Firm the way they say
she dresses, I reckon they had to
form a syndicate to support her.
WHAT are you dom, You young ras-
cal?" said a farmer to a remarkably
small boy, on finding him standing
under a tree in his orchard, with an ap-
pie in his hand. @Please sir. / was only
goin' to put this ERE apple back on the
tree, sir; it had fallen down, SIR"
SOMETHING of an expert: Patient
Doctor, ! don't believe tllat medicine
is doing me any good. Doctor-You
haven't tried it long enough to see the
effect yet. what effect ought it to
have?" "Um-ah-well-er, / haven't
tried it long enough on You to know just
yet"
GLIMPsES q CHANGERS,
There's the woman we all of us frequently meet.
Whose pafasOls aimed at our eye;
And the chulnps who persistently tramp ON our
feet,
They're all pretty hard to get by.
But there's no other lunatic running around
Who SO sadly of sense is bereft-
No other transgressOr has ever lIeeu found.
Like tho demon who turns to the lett. =
Chicago Herald.