The Washington critic., 1890-02-26

observation-disclosures for Real Es-
tate Investments--Fire Escapes.
ANDREW A. LIPsCoMB-This thing of
sending to England for clothes Is moth.
ing but fad. tried IL for while,
but found out that right here in Wash
ington one can get a suit of clothes of
exactly as good material as he could
get in any city in England. Every
gentleman who has ever made an at
tempt at being clothed by an English
tailor knows that English clothes pos.
sess but one merit. and that is the ex.
cellence of the material. So far as the
style is concerned. IL Is nowhere as com.
pared with our American work. The
American people ought to advocate the
adoption of a national style and break
away from the English idea. Let the
men and the women both come to a
conclusion TO adopt national style of
garment, and give up the idea that only
the French and the English can make
wearing apparel. Only dudes and
anglomaniacs think that 1t is necessary
TO go to POOLS" for clothes. Now,
this is little out of my line, and did
not form my conclusions from what
read in Blackstone as you will
readily conceive, but mean just what
/ say.
THOMAS +. GLRoY, Commissioner of
Public Works of New York-You have
very fine pavements here, but they are
only guaranteed for five years. | am
going to have fifteen miles of similar
pevoment laid in New York, which will
be guaranteed to last fifteen years.
PROSECUTING ATTORNEY DUMoNT-
There is only one United States Court in
this country that pays expenses, and
that is the Police Court of the District
of Columbia, which is not only self.sus-
tanning, but brings in handsome reve-
nue. to the Government. Yet doubt
whether there is single United States
Court in the country with such miserable
accommodations or so poorly equipped
as this is, Everybody in Washington
knows how utterly unsuited to the pur-
pose the building Is, for it has long been
disgrace to the city; but it is not so
generally known that Congress is so mig
gardly with its appropriation for that
purpose that the officials of the court
actually cannot obtain the necessary
supplies of stationery. and are obliged
to purchase portion of them out Of
their own pockets.
FIRE ESCAPE INVENTOR T. BRooKs-
DO you know that while l have
been selling my fire escapes to public
institutions of every description | have
yet failed to sell single one to col
lege The professors are afraid that if
fire escapes are placed in the rooms the
boys will use them to get out after
hours. Such neglect to place fire escapes
in educational institutions is, think,
criminal. But l am going to beat the
yNrnfnccnrG pn / hax nrl,
completed an invention by which one
cannot only lower himself ont of win
dow with safety but can hoist himself
back again. AS soon as get 1t patented
| am going to sell them to the boys, and
| know they'll go off like hot cakes.
There's millions in it,
A, FEMALE CIVIL SERvANT-You
have no idea to what an extent the type
writers in the Departments-the oper.
ators, mean, not the machines-are
utilized by their superior officers to do
private work during Office hours. Any
number of Government officials. who
want to be authors, have their manu-
scripts type written in the Departments
free of charge. Of course, it is all one
to the DepartnIental typewriter
whether the work is for the Govern
ment or not, but it is great injustice
10 outside type writers, who thus lose
great deal of work. l can tell you
pretty good story in this connection,
Up in our Department there is lady
the daughter of distinguished gen
eral, now dead--who does a good deal
of writing for the cheaper class of
magazines, and always has her manu-
scripts copied by one of the type-writers
in the Department. One day she took
the manuscript of short article, writ
ten for well known woman's maya
zine, to young lady who had recently
been appointed as copyist in the De-
partment to have it transcribed.
The young woman it seems had had
some dealings with magazines herself,
and not being troubled with conscien-
tious scruples. she made two copies of
the article. mailed one to a periodical to
which she had before sold some matter,
and under some preteXt delayed deliver
ing the other one to its author for some
time. The article was promptly &C.
cepted and check for it sent to the
typewriter. Then the author of the
article mailed 1t to the magazine for
which she intended it and few days
latter there was an explosion. 1t seems
that the typewriter. as such would have
ii, had mailed the stolen matter to the
very same editor that its rightful owner
had intended it for The offer of a
copy of manuscript which he had al
ready accepted or paid for actually
caused the editor to institute an inquiry,
which in very short time led to an ex-
osure OF the fair typewriter duplicity.
sbe and the author had an awful row,
Ut the latter couldn't very we'll lay the
matter before the chief and ask for the
giIls dismissal, for of course she had
no right to have the matter copied in
the office, and didn't care about having
the fact that she had exposed. She
will, however, have her manuscript
copied elsewhere in future
LAWYER S. G. NEALE-The efficacy
of oil TO smooth troubled waters has
long been proverbial but never, until
the other day. heard of its being used to
calm the storms created by whisky. A
few days ago young man Of my ac.
quaintance, who sometimes looks upon
the wine when it is red, strolled into
my office. Immediately noticed from
his appearance that he had been drink
ing more than was good for him He
came up to my desk, after several in.
tfectual attempts to steady himself sat
down and gravely drew from his pocket
bottle of olive oil, from which he
deliberately took a long swallow. OBJ
serving the astonishment which must
have been depicted on my couutenance
at this unusual proceeding he said:
"Finest thing in world. Drink too
much whisky, fumes go tohead. Makes
Il. l. nulr Hi. l. Ill ~