The Austin weekly statesman. (Austin, Tex.) 1883-1898, 1890-10-16
EASY ENOUGH TO PLAY LUNATlc.
But the Hard Work Came When He
Tried to Prove 1t Was Only "A Joke

But the Hard Work Came When He
Tried to Prove 1t Was Only II Joke.
81 have in my ife," said the colonel
"been severely misiudged. In fact, case
of mistaken identity nearly cost me my
neck once, when some Colorado cowboys
did me the honor to take me for a horse
thief OF course that was unpleasant No
man who has any regard for his reputation
cares to be lynched, however innocent he
may be. As said, have been taken for
a horse thief have been held up by high
waymen. | have been forced by public
opinion to take part in lynching. have
been accused Of squatting' when the claim
was clearly my own, and gracefully yield
ed to cogent argument-a six shooter.
have had many little experiences more ex-
citing than enjoyable, but think that the
one which caused me more genuine woe
than any other was trip which recently
made.
81 lent a trunk to friend of mine few
weeks ago. am not going to tell you his
name, nor am going to give you the real
name of the play which his company was
giving. But it was great deal like AN
Honest Thief fully as discredtable, any
way. When my trunk was returned to me
1t was literally plastered over with slips of
paper, on which were printed the words,
AN Honest Thief You could not stick a
pin against that trunk without running it
through one of those slips.
"When was on my trip, having taken
along this trunk, noticed that drew a
great deal of attention. got used to the
advertisements on my trunk, but other
people did not
"At hotel in Chicago man came up to
me, and after striking up conversation
turned it upon the subject of trunks. Soon,
he asked me what my object was in label
ing myself an honest thief thought it
would be fine joke to make him believe
that was serious, and l fenced with him.
"The next morning l noticed that every
one in the hotel looked at me askance
Even the walters treated me as sort of
mild lunatic, This was great fun, but it
became very embarrassing when endeav-
ored to be serious upon serious subjects.
Every one answered me in soothing way
began to get very tired of my joke |
went to the chief hotel clerk.
% See here said it's about time this
honest thief business was put an end to,
isn't til?
" Certainly SIR he answered, in reas-
surfing tone,
"'Of course it's all joke I went on.
"'Certainly sir said the clerk, every
one knows that you aren't thief
al should hope So | cried, getting
angry.
"'There there, sir he said gently, rll
have that matter attended to-
"'What matterT | said furiously. DO
you think that lam lunatic to be treated
this wayp
"'Most assuredly not he answered in
tones which said emphatically that most
assuredly he did
"'Well, you may make out my BILL
"'All right, SIR he responded CRATE
fully.
II went up to my room. A chamber
maid was there gazing at the labels.
When she saw me she gave me frightened
look and started for the door.
"'Come back said sternly.
"She stood still with bated breath.
What are you running away forP
asked
"'Towels, sir she gasped.
"'You are not. You think | am crazy
"'Oh, no, sir she answered, edging to-
ward the door.
~ rang the bell violently and long.
"A porter came up carrying coal hod
in one hand and a murderous looking
poker in the other. He stuck his shaven
head in the door and glanced about him
suspiciously
"'Why did you bring that coal? asked
Didn't you want ity' he said, placing
the s. title on the floor, but grasping the
poker more firmly,
"'l did not.
q "'What did you ring for, SIR" he said,
Watching me closely and hanging to his
poker.
al want those labels taken off my
trunk
He looked at the trunk, then ut me and
then at the poker in his big fist
81 can't take 'em off alone, he said
why, certainly You can answered
indi snaEtly See here, and advanced
to show him how it could be done.
Don't We come near mer he shouted,
backing into corner and brandishng his
poker If We do I'll brain We, we murderin'
lunaticp His eyes were wild and he was
the picture of desperation.
"'Take off those labels exclaimed
authoritatively.
"'Sure an We doan' git me down on me
knees before ye, he said stubbornly. IN
keep me eye on We. If we touch me I'll
brain ye,' he cried wildly, as ! started
toward him in indignation to throw him
out of the room. He rushed for the door
and tore down the corridor with wild
yell.
II got down on my knees and scraped
of the labels, Then packed my trunk
and started down tn the esa :. - - - -