The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-08-02
MICKEY COACHES HIS FATHER.
Futile Preparations in the Finn Family
for the Civil Service Examination.

Futile Preparations in the Finn Family
for the Civil Service Examination.
From the Neto York Sun.
sim thinkin'," said Mr.. Finn to his son
Mickey, as they sat together on the back
stoop after supper listening to the tree
toads, that I'll be givin' UP workin' in the
quarry and tryin' me hand on at brain
work"
"Figgerin'T said the boy, brushing away
an inquisitive June bug.
"Figgerin' or writin', !" answered Mr. Finn,
taking a squint at the moon. Now. you
have 'nolleage, Mickey. Fwhat kind O. sums
would [ have to be doin' if got the job of
s'aler o'woights and meesures~
Its the sums ye'd have to be doin' afore
We got the job as 'ud bother We, father"
said Mickey "Shure the civil service min
'ud be askin' We questions that the school
master could't answer"
'Musha, Ididn't that, me by. Fwhat's
the civil service min, anyhow
They're min as is ped by the President
fur akin foolish questions" replied little
Mike, land l have buke in the house as
hos lot o the questions in. If yell
come inside I'll Pearn thin to ye."
Mr.. Finn arose with alacrity and his pipe
and went into the shanty. He lit the kero-
seue lamp and placed it upon the table.
Then he lit his pipe and waited impatiently
while his son hunted up a book on natural
phenomena which he had procured from
the district school library. While Mickey
leafed through the book, Mr.. Finn said:
Now you teach me the questions be
heart, and yell not be sorry when l get
the job"
BY the time that Mickey was ready to
begin the lesson several of the neighbors
had dropped in. They ranged themselves
~, 7&,AIo -, IoZ ..,I
became deeply interested in the proceed
ings.
Mickey, from chapter ON dew
FAX, it do" replied Mr.. Finn, "only ye
can't see it bekase of the dark"
"Yis, and there's devil much wagons on
the road in the night" interrupted Mrs.
O'Brien.
Mickey shook his head in dissent. eyer
wrong" said he. That's not the rayson in
the buke."
"Fwhat does the buke say!" asked Mr..
Finn.
''Bekase the dew makes the dust wet and
kapes it from rlsin," answered the boy.
"That's raysonable," exclaimed MIR. Finn.
''I dunno how is this l didn't think OF it
afore. Begorra have it down on me mind
agin the time the civil sarvice min III be
akin me the question"
"Why will a dewdrop roll around on a
cabbage leaf widout maxim the cabbage
wetg" continued little Mike.
Mr. Finn was puzzled. He passed his
hand over his forehead to collect his
thoughts. "Ausha, that's thrue fur ye
Mickey" said he. 81 often seen it myself
haven't that much nolledge as 'ud fill yer
mothers thimble. Is 1t bekase the dew
drop is roundp
Mickey shook his head. Then. looking
around at the interested faces, ne said:
do ye give 1t up"
Each one of the party shook his head.
If their lives had depended on the answer
they could not have given it. Mickey. with
q proud ring of conscious superiority in his
voice, read from the book:
"Bakase the leaves O. cabbage are covered
with a fine wdher over which the dew
drop rolls without wetting the leaves"
"Dear, DEAR" said Mrs. O'Brien, land is
all that in the little bukeW
Faith, it is. and more replied the boy
oracularly.
''But fwhat has dem to do wild the weights
in store Mickey?" inquired Mr. Finn.
''Yell have to be AKIN the President if
it's nolledge yere wantin' about that IRE
piled the boy as he turned TO the book and
resumed the lesson But little Mikes re-
sort to the book in this instance was only
seeming. He had determined TO ask some
questions from his own knowledge of nat
ural science, relying on the fact that none
of his auditors could read to protect him.
Said he:
"Fwhat make the foam on a growler o.
beerm
"Oh, no. have ye thare, me daddy
buck" said Mr.. Finn, with smile and
wise nod of the head 81 have ye thars,
by. l could answer that wild me eyes
shat"
All eyes turned on Mr.. Finn, and every
body waited impatiently for the reply.
Or. Finn prolonged the suspense as long as
he could TO enjoy the surprise at the wisdom
of his reply.
"Well, father" said Mickey, "fwhat
Is its" -
'It's just this and no more" said the elder
Finn, wagging his index finger in ms sons
direction. Its bekase whin Jack Brady
draws the beer he holds the pail far down
from the spigot SO there'n be more bubbles
nor liquor"
Yer wrong, father; that's not fwhat the
Duke saysn
'Arrah, to blazes wild the Duke, boyl
Didn't see it wild me two eyes, and
wouldn't man believe his eyes afore an
ould Duke? Eyes Is better nor Dukes, me
LAD. Didn't SEQ Jack hoidin the pail close
up TO the spigot and tharell be a fone pint
fur cents and divil's the bubble ye'd see.
Arrah, don't be talkin'l Whin | know
thing know it. sonny, and small..fear but
twhat I'LL spake me mind"
Mickey smiled and shook his head. Then
he explained that the scientific reason as
signed IN the book for the foam did not
agree with that Of his father.
Well, tell us fwhat the buke says, just
for divershIn," exclaimed the old mau.
"f-l-r-hr-m-i-n-min -t-i-o-n-
shun, hrmintation," read little Ike,
palpitatlng, and expecting that his father
would grab the book and throw it out
Of the window.
And fwhat's thatF said Mr.. Finn, with