New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1890-06-15

at a conference in North Carolina, preaher reported
that he had raised every dollar of the ASSESSMENT made
against his charge circuit for the misshary cause,
vhcrcupon the presiding bishop patted i'm on the
back and blessed him with Il well dOie good and
faithful servant This good preacher va thus eA
allied, and If there chance for conerenepromoton
he Will probably 90 up higher. BY a ingc coinci-
dence while hi, interesting episode wasgdng on in
conference the managers OF the Woman Home Mis-
sonary society in this city received anapplication
from this same North Carolina preacher egging that
some cast-on clothing be sent to him hide his
rags 20 long a, the heather are taugA that they
are dead In respasscs and lin 1t was OF no msequence
that this faithful North Carolina preachelwas CON-
PEELED 70 solicit ra!ment that his Northei brethren
had discarded
slightly Inconsistcnt-rarner Ton the bais Of the
best patch Of wheat! rs without e&ceion tho
dirtlest, snaggiest, and mcauest stream on yHth
| live right on the banks OF the noble Missod rs
without exception the grandcs and most mhihcent
stream on earth!-(Ihe Epoch
4 prominent southern man recently confcsd that
he wa, never afraid Of but two things. "O'.7 he
said "was the Yankee army and the Others my
wife, The army is dl,banded. but he has HI wife
with him yet 50 there IS no fear Of his being ,be
on the contrary he obeys and fears.
Rider IIagsard complains that an American putsh.
ing firm mutatcd one 81 hi novels me nunO, u
Grht Wa cut down by the American publishers FIN
7l3 10 2C4 40 wonder Haggard got mad ana cald
s aaTG If sa fea ANY Of au. eSargerao1 should
operated upon nrst.-( NoristOwn Herald
Tho live and progressive people Of the southwes
are disappointed with the Century Dictionary because
il does not contain the word baz0o Eastern tehler-
feet may not know II. but bazOO' Is good STANDARD
word in the Southwest. more TO be sncered at or
ignored than such words as dog and cat. When
politician j. said % blow his bazoo' everybody knows
what is meant. In scdal. No, there is lively
paper called ." The Bazoo.7 and in other ways bazoo'
enters largely into the daily life Of the people. There
fore. If the Century Dictionary folks want 10 work
mp biz Southwestern business, they will have 10 ind
a place for " bazoc.'
We used TO kiss. sometimes. didn't We >" 10 said to
lis wife. No. sir she said with deep indignation;
Won never kissed me until after We were engaged,
YOU tried to. and you fought for The privilege but YOU
never succeeded
j., that SO ~ tie husband remarked "Ive kissed
"Whots thatl What did you say the wife
81 saw" said the husband. al have Kissed Won 50
many times that can't remember when began
Chatter
When used to describe an ordinary dance or recep-
ton. the newly imported word function is bad
enough but when II IS made 10 describe 4 religious
service in Protestant church it Is not only silly
but sacrlegnns function in a church suggests per-
fnc,ory performers going through the motions OF .
spectacular show. idea entirely ont Of place In
Christian place Of worship. II Is therefore matter
Of regret that an Episcopal journal. The Living
Church. should speak OF the very reyerent service II
Trinity Church in this city on Ascension Day as a
Junction
His Occupation Go,e-Frst D I.,as look
second Dete tiyc-DM You read about "a, convict M at
sing sing confessing on his deathoed that ne MUIR
dcIyd man IN New York
Yes read all about IT.
Well, that spOils q clew on winch ! nave Deen
WORKING Tor year and Il half. '-lTeAaS >Etings.
The following blood curdlins notice l. posted In all
the stations OF the Eastern Bengal Railway " Pass
opc,r are hereby cautioned against taldng anything
TO ea. or drink from unknown persons, rs there are
many who I've by poisoning traveller They hFSt
of all court acquaintance with passengers IN SaFal
or some other place. and then gain their confidence
on the plea Of being fellow travellers sons To the same
place. When they reach place convenient for tho
PURPOSE they poison the water or food Of the pass
enecr, who become ln,ensblc, and then they decamp
with all their property
Understood the Ca,c-Nrs. seebcach--I wish % get
A divorce from nv husband Tor outrageous ouci'}' III
i&%ytr-I murt have so rcta.nmS fee art'
Mrs. seebencl-But haven, got IT, spent tho
last $50 n, husband gave me Tor tli> uon"o' "'''
laTyer-Woqt he give You any ,, more ,nv,ow
LAWYER Wsll perhaps the gentleman you wish 70
mar, viii lend Il TO you.-,San Francisco wasp
.r,a, ,or,ci,u. chrniclcr Of events The Detroit
r,, Pres, tell, Of man named Wits who has taken
,, bi, pcrmancnt residence IN Florida, IN order that
nr n,y spend al h- time killing sharks, because once
,pon A time shark bit his wife IN two. Now that
.lov, the innate injustice Of man. lie compss'cs
,i l,uchfer of score, OF innocent happy. joyous
.n,, because on a certain occasion bad. orney'
mo- account shark deprived him of the services Of his
vic And he toes this without stopping 10 reflect
,,ut maybe after ALL II wasn't shark, but an alll'
GATOR that halvcd his better half
The Funny Man. Asain.-Unclc zeb-rherc is no
Grorsc What is IT,
why. here II says:
Wheat. 20 to -. small demand
oats, % tO -. upward tendency.
Corn 81 TO 80, variable
Why that's a market report =.
1T Is Hlomed II didn't think it was another OF
those funny dialogues. THE Epoch
There i, a man living in Antelope County. Neb..
who 4, ninctysevcn years three months ana some oud
days old What OF II you the woods are fu' o' me.
a good deal Older Rut hold on. This particular oli
nan has never used tobacco in any form ha' never
"a, I'd spirituous liquors Of any kind. can't saw
cord of wood and walk five miles before o'V"Nld9t'
and can't read with the strongest glasses
Every other old man on record has ur'''N' S"oAeu
and chewcd from his youth np can 40 u'c "o'N Oh
two men before breakfast and can read the smallest
r,t ,rtbo,t ,,l,.ses Al a distance of several yards
No wonder We regard our Antclop, County old man
prodigy.
saving the Heather. STRANGER TN Broohlyn)-
NnCrc those gentlemen gong
Rrsident-They are going TO bid farewell TO popu'
lar missionary to China who haa ueeh very success
nl in toiching the heathcn the gospel of love and
peace. . III ,.ra . 49,.
see. And where is TINS gnhs al boys going
They are going to stone a Chinese funcyal"-(Ncw-
York Weekly.
The second number Of The Theatre Magazine is
crcdtabie from every point OF view. IT contains
$50 pages Of bright ana interesting matter and a
numbrr OF well executed illustrations. Its discussion
Of music and the drama is marked BY ability and
honesty aud its Editor Deshler Welsh, is TO be con.
graduated its success
What i the Good The toy pistol has gone and the
cigarette going. but OF what /, IL Ia try and
ihli claSS Of slnLnaL. N.Lu Mnild he ~ m