The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1890-10-25


announcement Is the following:
This is TO certify that l. Daniel o'Flanassu
am not the person who wns tarred an
| feotherod by the mob on Tuesday last; and
am ready TO give twenty guneus to any on
who will bet me fifty that an the other ma,
| who goes by my name.
"Witness my hand this 30th Of July, lS-.
DAN. O'F'LANAGAN."
Before returning to our own country,
we can not refrain from quoting re
cent advertisement from Yolohami
paper, as an excellent example o.
Japanese English:
| For Sale
! Best Pepperm int OIL.
Made From It's Really Leafs
| Can be curable for the sickness Of
Male, Female or Boy.
Dizzy.-Use to put or wipe few drops on the
| forehend, bothsides under eye brows, noseholcs
and bothsides the back of ears.
Fever.-Wipe on the forehead, and noseholcs
| Fft.-Wipe most of the noseholes, and drink q
| few drops mixed with tea.
Giddy.-Wipe bothsides of forehead, and nose
| holes.
Gout or Goutswollen.-W beshoides OF
| forehead, noseholes and much to the hrenst.
Headache.-Wipe on the forehead and nose.
holes. Believe U.S.
CHOY THOONG SUNG,
Our American newspapers abound in
| advertisements of such odd and ingeni.
GUS varieties that one is alta loss which
to select as examples of the most ceigi-
nal. More amusement is afforded by
the column devoted to wants." per-
haps, than any other department., since
few OF these occasional advertisers seem
to have much knowledge of grammar
and punctuation, and, therefore, unless
corrected by the printer, their announce
ments are apt to appear in a guise alto
gether foreign to the real meaning of
the writer.
A Boston clergyman, in a hastily
written advertisement, asks 1or "a
young man to take care of span of
horses of a religious turn of mind;" and
another person wants "a nurse in a
small gentleman's family" A Texas
man applies for BOSS hand over five
thousand sheep that can speak Spanish
fluently"
But such advertisements are innumer-
able and really, in the opinion of the
writer, not half so interesting as is the
grim humor displayed in such as this,
which comes from a gravestone cutter
in the Pine Tree State:
"Such as buy tombstones Of US look with
pride and satisfaction upon the graves OF their
friends"
Or this from an Illinois undertaker:
can elegant stock of neat and nobby shrouds,
warranted to give satisfaction to the most par
ticular."
The chief requisites for successful
collector of bad debts in certain South
ern State is amusingly illustrated by
the following, which is genuine adver-
tisment:
1--WE desire an able-bodied, hard featured bad.
tempered, nottobe put-ofT and not. to.be- backed.
down young man, to collect for us; must fur.
nish his own horse saddle-bags, pistols, bowie
knife and cowhide. evil furnish the accounts.
To such person We promise constant and la
borious employment"
A New York auctioneer advertises as
follows:
"For sale-A large quantity @. oil paintings
by some of the most ancient masters of the
day."
The virtue of brevity, il not of cloar-
ness, is attained in this:
1.-TWO sisters want washing"
Here is our honest liquor dealer, who
advertises as follows:
For sale, lot of whisky, of not very good
quality, but as good as the average that is sold
about town"
The modern use of the word "lady"
on all occasions is evinced by this bona
fde want" which appeared short
time ago in Boston daily:
Wanted-By a lady to do kitchen work in a
saloon. Address Deller, Mclean ct.
A column might be easily filled with
the most amusing matrimonial ads, but
the following is beyond doubt the most
unique one of that character ever
printed
"a young gentleman, on the point of getting
married. is desirous of meeting man of exper-
ience who will dissuade him from such a step.
ETC."
Few advertisers display more vivid
than n certain class of real
estate dealers George Robins, fam
Gus pioneer in this line, had so poetic
pen as to imbue the most prosaic piece
of property with the charms of para
disc. On one occasion he dwelt at length
upon certain changing wood" con-
nected with an estate which he desired
to sell, which the astonished purchaser
discovered was nothing more or less
than an old gallows! Again, after
lengthy rhapsody over veritable
Eden, for sale cheap, he concluded:
'But there are two drawbacks to this
beautiful property-the litter of the
rose leaves and the noise of the night
ingales." Surely the art of artistic
puffery could no further go.
An unusually short-sighted editor
once printed this notice.:
~ will take a good dog in payment for one
years subscription"
The next day forty-three dogs were
sent to the Office. The day afterwards,
when the news had spread out into the
-four hundred farmers sent two
logs apiece by express, with eight bas.
kets of puppies, all marked C. o. d.
The offer found it's way into neighbor-
ing States, and before the end of tho
week there were eight hundred dogs,
lied with ropes, in the editors front and
back yards. His paper was not pub
lished for six days, and the Government
tax amounted to $500. AS an illustra-
tion of the value of advertising She
above story is only equaled by the fact
that while q compositor on the Montreal
was setting up an advertise
ment for a lost canary, the bird itself
few in at the Office window!-Charles
II. Adams, in Detroit Free Press.
About II Plant OF Genius.
There was once-and it was not very
long ago-a young musician who had
composed an air of which he secretly
1.