, 1890-11-30
ABOUT MISTAKEN VII.
the PIPE IN oRANDFATHER's MOUTH
HOW GRANDMAMmA DANCED.


Funny and when Not to BE Funny.
ICopyright by American Press ASsOciAtionl
We sometimes hear persons playfuIly
warned not to be 50 funny or they will
hurt themselves"
But it is quite true that mistaken
ideas Of humor often do result in mis-
fortune to the humorist, and one gener.
ally feels that the misfortune is well
enough deserved
l knew one young man who cut him-
self out of his grandfathers will by
sketching n pipe as coming out Of the
mouth OF that venerable gentleman's
portrait, and a young lady who lost the
gift of her grandmother's brocade dress
of unknown value by h~umorously illus
trating the old lady's probable style Of
dancing in her youth.
Asfor more severe practical jokes. few
persons in these days are so regardless of
decorum as to practice them. and yet
some are. Not a year ago 1 heard a gen.
tleman ask a lady sitting at the same
table with me whether she had ever
tasted a n especial brand OF Burgundy.
She said no, and he rejoined, Permit
me to pass you the bottle" She took it
and tipped gently and then nose siren
uously, until it became evideSsD that II
was empty. whereupon not only the
donor but his wife began to laugh and
look about for applause. The victim Of
the joke laughed also. but not pleasant
ly. and reioined, You might as well
have given me your own head
The joker ceased laughing aud augily
demanded. Why
because there's nothing OF value in
II" replied the lady, and there were two
enemies for life, not to count the mans
wife and as many of the lady's family "a
she chose 10 complain 70.
Another practical joke which came
under my notice was the contriving that
two very susceptible young people should
discuss spoons" in an arbor where a
wag was hidden, who, initiating the
girls father, suddenly cried out: 'Un-
hAnd them. %villaini Ny ducats and my
daughter and then fled. but was pur-
sued and caught in the midst of his nc
complies. and so was started a feud that
no time will heal.
But apart from such Grass brutahties
as these how many persons SOW endless
regrets for themselves aud others by
mistaken humor. Most women are sen.
sitive RS to their age. 1t may be foolish.
but il is almost universal, and there Il
no intimacy, n~odegreo Of relationship, nc
Scnsibleness on the part OF the RECIPIENT.
that can make n Jest that turns upon a1s
acceptable TO a womah. or for that mat
ter to a mar. Tor the lords OF creation
have agreat deal more petty vanity than
they wish TO take credit for. | once
heard n bachelor Of about 30 dogmati-
cally asserting that Washington's inau-
guration day was very hot. The ques-
lion was discussed until at last one
young lady hippantly remarked, well.
since Mr.. So-aud-sO was there and saw
1t we must believe It" Poor So-and-so
always has a spiteful word for that girls
name whenever IL Is mentioned.
Nor do any circumstances or relation
ship make a ~caricature OF him or herself
acceptable OF funny to its subject. There
are very few Of rs who might not be
~caricatured by a clever draughtsman so
rs TO make all our friends shake with
laughter. but not one OF them nor
would the artist himself find a earica-
ture Of their or his peculiarities
one-tenth part 30 funny: in fact, most Of
rs would quietly set up IN abiding dis
like 10 the perpetrator of this admirable
jest.
Nor is it ever safe 10 Jest upon a n
others mistakes in social or educational
matters.
Just fancy what my wife said when
Professor Lunis asked her il she thor
oughly understood his theory of aster.
oids. She asked If they weren't n kind
of punctuation marks. Thought he
meant asterisksr" So said a great. stu
IA FraaH VVu#rtr.T Vpaf, fha nHIaN pfwhf
in company, and had no idea his wife
would rather he had surreptitiously
pinched her black and blue.
Nor, If you would keep your friend,
ever point out or narrate or seem 10
perceive anything absurd in connection
with him or her Nc matter how ridicu-
lous he looked running for the train.
with his coat tails flying out behind,
don't make a good story of 1t. whether
in his presence or absence. No matter
how funny her attitude and expression
were when the mouse seemed bound in
seeking refuge under her skirts If you
tell anybody else half you think about
it you will win a laugh and very proba-
bly, lose a friend.
II never since have dared to be as
funny as | can. says Holmes, and for
various reasons a good many ~ufnorlst
might echo the confession.
Another class Of mistaken wit is that
by which a rather slow and simple per
son is made the target for some sharp
shooters singing srTows for the amuse-
ment OF a listening crowd. In the first
place few people are as obtuse as they
appear, and many a man who has not
the wit TO retort quite comprehends the
hidden gibes and innuendoes and almost
insults the jester r. launching at his
seemingly stolid comprehension. l was
once present Rt a most painful scene.
where the rather deaf, exceedingly com
monplace and decidedly disagreeable
mead Of a house suddenly remarked TO a
guest: Madam, / nave always thought
1t very III manners to allude, in the pres
nee of visitors, to family matters from
which they are excluded, and ! will
therefore mention that when my sons
use the term 'rish't "a describe anything
especially slow. tiresome and stupid
they mean 'fatherish,' which is with
them the synonym Of all these qualities,
Those young men were very witty fell
lows, but / must confess that / have sell
dom seen n confessed fool look more
foolish than they then did.
a phase Of this dangerous form OF wit
- shot gwH.r.G,s 10 hi IA r,3r1 ~ ,-1,,nr