Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-06-17
THE TOPICAL TALKER.

MIR. AbePs Journey in South America
Queer Papers-A Poet After n Pass
Training for n Wedding.
| MR.. CHARLES ABEL, who is travelling In
South America in the interest of some
| Pittsburg manufacturers, and incidentally of
THE DISPATCH, has been heard from again:
1t shows the poverty of our means of communi-
cation with South American countries when
Mr.. Abels letter, mailed in Buenos Ayres in
the middle of April, has only just got here.
| The letter travelled here by way of Portugal.
! There seems to be no mail route very much
! shorter. The difficulties of travelling on the
east coast of South America, Mr.. Abel says,
] cannot be imagined by any one who has not
| actually experienced them. He believes that
! he will get on better and faster on the west
coast. He has no fault TO find with the atti-
| tude of the officials and merchants of the va
rious States which he has visited. They were all
uniformly courteous and obliging, and appear
to have gone out of their way to serve and en-.
| tertain him.
At Buenos Ayres Mr.. Abel found a warm
welcome at the monastery of the Passionists.
"All the monks are from Pittsburg" he writes,
and it felt like home in the monastery. They
have fine property and are building new
church, for which Father Constantine showed
me donation OF 5000 he had received this
morning."
TWO English papers published in the Argen-
tine Republic, the Times and the Herald
of Buenos Ayres, and the Riuer Plate Times
OF Montevideo. in the Republic of Uruguay,
have also come to hand from Mr.. Abel. They
are all immense blanket sheets of a pattern
common to almost all English colonies. Appar-
emily all three are the organs of the British
colonies in Buenos Ayres and Montevideo. If
1rIaI
certainly can challenge the approval of the
world. They are simply immense. The Buenos
Ayres Herald measures 80 inches in length and
q in breadth, and the Rfver Plate Times 2Sx2l
inches. The type is as big as that to be found
in infants primers, except in the advertise
ments, which fill three out of the four pages
entirely, and part of the fourth The news
seems to be a minor consideration. There is
very little of it. and what there is is very an
tiQue. The editorials show mildness and re-
spect for the Government which eloquently re-
veal the restraining hand of censor Of a
wholesome fear of the powers that be. They
do not exhibit, these papers, either in their
news or advertising columns, any sign of the
activity OF North American influences. Euro
pean steamship lines and European traders,
banks and railroad companies are evidently in
possession, and European news is evidently
more in demand in Uruguay and the Argentine
Republic.
THE multitudes who think they ought not to
pay railroad fare are never at loss for
grounds upon which to base their applications
for passes. The passenger agents are used to
the most extraordinary petitions, some piteous,
some audacious and now and then one that is
downright humorous Under this last head
comes an application that was made to Passen-
ger Agent Ed. Smith, of the Baltimore and
Ohio. the other day.
Mir. Smith was busy in his office on Fifth
avenue, when tall and very lean young man
came in and asked to see the passenger agent.
Mr. Smith noticed that the young mans hair
was very long. and that the bottoms of his
trousers were frayed, but in spite of these
ominous signs he said cheerily: "Well, sir,
what can do for your
81 want to get to Baltimore" said the long
haired young man in sepulchral voice.
You've come to the right place, sir; we sell
tickets for Baltimore to any one," said Mr..
Smith, waving his hand toward the ticket
counter.
mo, you don't understand me-" went on the
young man.. II have some beautiful poems
here. and when Eye read you one or two am
sure you will see your way to transporting me
TO Baltimore" and with this the young man
tished out bundle of manuscript from his coat
tail pocket. 1t was warm day and Mr.. Smith
did not feel inclined to precipitate conflict;
so he sank back into his chair and the long
haired poet began to read aloud his efusions.
He read two poems of considerable length, and
he might have read more but the second poem
had a refrain in which "along the shore'' was
rhymed with 'all the moren and "Ba ltimore,'
and Mr.. Smiths good nature couldn't stand
that. He called to the clerks and they depos-
tied the lank and lean poet with the long hair
on the sidewalk. For some days yet Baltimore
is safe.
A FTER wedding which took place in Pitts
burg several nights ago, the best man and
few more of the bridegroom's friends ac-
companled the happy man to the Union depot
to speed him on his honeymoon The best man
carried satchel belonging to the groom, and
as they walked down the platform, for convent
ence he threw the satchel over his shoulder
holding it by the strap attached to 1t.
young fellow in linen duster, evidently
from the country, saw the wedding party arrive
and recognized its character as such. The i
sight interested him very much-that was plain,
and he asked the car porter to point out the
bridegroom to him. A colored porter always
knows everything of course. and he unhesitat-
ingly indicated the best man as the lucky indi- |
vidual. The countryman gazed with renewed |
interest at the alleged bridegroom and ex-
planned to the porter: .You see Pm going to be |
married myself next week, and want to know |
how to get myself up and act-sp that's the |
groom, isitp |
Some rural circle will be astonished at the |
easv nonchalance of a farmer bridep room this |