The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1890-05-14
PITH AND POINT.

Sir Isaac Newton made money Dy an
apple fall. Some women make money
by an apple stand.
Time will tell, but the ordinary man ,
with an important secret won't give time
chance. York Ne,os.
That the way of transgressors is hard,
I agree. And no wonder-it's trampledH
so heavily.-iNunseys Weekly.
Cheek always wins its way
Where seraphs might despair.
And that's the reason why
The book agent ''gets there"
"It must have been magnificent sight
to see the mighty waves subdued by oil. y.
ssIt was kerosene shall never forget. y"
Chatter. 81
Whipper-'Why do you call Little
short bad egg2" Snapper-"Oh, it's.
so disagreeable to have him strike yous5
when he's broke. ."-Puck.
There's something in the accents Of a voice
rest, esEs
As sleepy boys who hear their fathers call
And know and feel to get right up Is best
Fond Parent-"Look here! Ibought
you the windmill, now what do youfk,
want9" Little Willie--"Boo! hoo-o---t
o! want the wind. ."-Aunseys Reek-
y.
Snooper-:'Mrs. Griggs must be a very
talkative lady" Simeral-"Have YOU
ever heard her talk2" Snooper-"No;
but I infer so from the fact that she hasa
double chin. ."-Judge.
Mr.. Beaumonde-"How do you like
the new coachman, my dear| Mrs.
Beaunonde-"Oh,h he's splendid! His
hair lust matches our pair of chestnut
carriage horses. ."-LigAt.
"Now, Mrs. Taylor, you will excuse
me, but before taking you. son into my
employ I should like to inquiries as 70.
whether he has any bad habits" "WellSr.
no, sir-'cept dispepsey. ."-Ha,pers -
eur.
s I wish had an ideam quoth he -
"What kind Of one would you Like" salat
"WelI, to tell truth"-and he drew quite
"1long for just one, and that's your eye.
-Munseys Weekly.
Fsther-"James, you know disap-s
prove very much of your fighting, but l
cannot help feeling proud OF you for
whipping such big boy as that. What
did you whip him for2" Son Qndlg-
nantly y)-"Why, he said l looked like
YOU"
Biggs-"Old Mr.. Dresser, the tailor.
who has been in business forty years,
dropped dead the other day while taking
a customers measure. What do you.
think of such an ending as that to q.
mans life?" Boggs-"Fltting clothes,
I should say"
Butcher Boy-"Anything else to take
out?" Butcher-'Yes, this ten-poundE
roast is to go to Mr.. Wealthy's residence,
and this other ten pound roast is to goto
Mrs. slimdiet's clearinghouse. Now,
don't get them mixed, or we'll lose two
customers. "-Nw York Weekly. a
"Who is that finely dressed gentlmana"s
"Oh, that is General Graspum. He made
his money as director OF the Pykrust1
National Bank" "And who is the rag
ged beggar talking to him?" "That 'ia1
Lambswool, who was one of the largest
depositors in the bank. ."-AuNseys. a
"This," said the farmers boy, as he
ran his fingers about and carefully ab-15
sorbed from them into his system the da
licious golden accumulation upon the to-
of the pan of milk his motherhad thrice
hidden away from him. "this is the
cream of the Joke" Dansrile Breeze.
"Salem! Salem" called out the con-
ductor as a train rolled into the station
the other day. "What!" said LADY,
turning to the Judge, lis this the place
where they hung witches?" ''Yes, yes
replied the Judge, with twinkle in hisI
eve; "but be calm, madam, they don't
do il .''-.Sulem Witch.
Mutton, as an article of food, is whole
some and nutritious, and may be eaten
with impunity with caper sauce. In 1e-|
male seminaries, where the male element
is an unknown quantity, sidc-saddles OF
mutton only should be used, and carel
should be observed that the young LADIES'
do not indulge in too many capcrs.-Heso1
York Netrs.