davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The National tribune., 1890-12-11


Can n man become intoxicated on chewing
pum2 I cannot believe it, yet a friend Of
mine assures NE that no knows a fellow who
does it. The man in question is tho superiE-
tcndent of one Of the big brcwcrics Of New
York. lie does not drink liquor Of any kind,
not even his own beer. He can tell the quality
OF the brewing by the color and smell. Once
in a while however lie feels like getting hill
arions in some way. The feeling is likely to
come upon him on the Fourth Of July or some
similar occasion Of holiday or rejoicing
When hc feels that way, so my friend s1ys.
and he ought TO know, our superintendent buys
a large box Of some peculiar sort Of chewing
gum and makes a job Of it. lie does not at
tempt 10 do anything else for the time being.
lie dcvotc5 himself 10 the chewing gum. Ono
cake Of il after another disappears. He chews
all tho sweetness out Of the gum and then
throws it away. When he has masticated
about for or five dozen Of the waters he is the
po5sessor Of what the boys call "a beautiful
Jag" At least 80 my friend says.
There was q friend Of mine once who assured
me that he had seen an oyster which had been
taught 10 play the piano. / did not believe
him, Just because he was my friend. Your
own friends VIII sometimes tell you whOpping
big yarns The one who tells ne the chewing
gum story ayers by the Great Horn Spoon that
il is positively true. In proof Of it he pointed
out the brewery to me.
The National tribune., 1890-12-11
Boston Reporting.


1nterviewer-Mr. Swelhed. / have come 10
ret your views on the proposed change in the
curriculum Of the grammar school.
Mr.. SwclLel Curriculum What's that
I'm agiu t. whatever /. is.
Mr.. Swelhed, reading the report Of the inter
viewer" Our distinguished toWUsman. Mr. M.
r. Swelhed. was found at his charming home
surrounded by abundant indication Of ripe
scholarship aud sturdy common sense. In re-
ply 20 OEr reporters question, he said: do
no. desire 90 force my opinions upon the public,
hut this ! will say, that ! have given 10 this
question long and studiOus attention incident
ally examining into the CuTTjcula Of in7titG-
ti0us Of learning both at home and abroad, and
although find in the existing course Of study
not q few matters for condemnation, still upnn
the whole, cannot say that / should advise
any radical change until have further time TO
examine into the subject" BY George, that
fcllers got my exact language word for word +.
And he didn't take no notes neither! By
George, what a memory that feiler must have.
The National tribune., 1890-12-11
ENGLISH WOMEN.
An American Writer'S Opinions on Our British
Sisters.
HGrTer s Hcck NI
- II ,.r,,.. I.-, q.

LANfLtf . httA U.l
A word may be IN place here about the Eng
lish women. They are very little like the
better moiety Of Americans. They appear %
have the most bOuntiful health and they GER
tliuly do possess tho lOvclicst cOInplexi1us i'm
agnable. The Indian females Of Alaska, who
cover their faces with thick black mixture Of
scot aud grease in order to preserve their beauty,
may have the most perfect compIexions rs
they boast but until there Is other evidence
than their assertion, the palm certainly must
60 % the English. Even i'm Whiteehapel or
among the peasant or fisher girls, yon viii see
checks like the sides Of peaches, while among
the London beauties the faces are like ivory
sutluscd with the tinge of rose leaves We
bake our faces i'm OverhGated houses 40 least six
months in the year, and it we expose them 10
is to violent heat or sudden changes. They
live at home in such discomfort that the best
way to get warm has been for ages 90 got out
Of doors and walk. The consequence is that
they arc born with fOndnes5 for the open air
and open-air exercise, and always in a climate
moist and productive Of Che most -uperb ami
mai and vegetable development But 10 seems
TO me that the finest English omen fall far
short OF our mark. Big, bOuy savy women
too tall and big and helvy-they carry shoul-
ders as dispTOpOTtiOu1tely wide as the sails Of o
windmill, and then pinch their waist 10 a de-
gree our women never approached. They lack
the graceful, Opulent curves Of the perfect
woman. I never fully realized this until I
went 10 France, where the women are often
godGCsses. Thea knew had not seen in all
England a haIf-dOzen such women az abound in
America and Paris IL was not until ! went TO
Paris that I realized the fact that English
women lack not only rounding outlines, but
that they fail Of being stylish" and that they
are wanting IN graCefuluess. As for the Eng
lish young girl or " miss " she IS next door to
a chrysalis without wit or spirit Or originality,
individuality, or independence; an appeud9ge
TO her parent, dead weight upou whatever
company she is lod into; a pul7elcss, milky
eyed. animated identity; she lives. she moves,
she has her be.ug-that is all. Nobody can
blame an English uoblemau for marrying an
American girl if he can; Of that l am con-
yiuced.
The National tribune., 1890-12-11

see how she could escape him, as he matured
in his mind a covetous and cunning pro-
gram, while he conducted the dead upon his
miserable heagse 10 a stately and solemn
sepulture on the mountain capstOnos.
These reflections kept Braddock from the
terror of the dead mans presence till he
had come 10 the end OF the legible way to
the White Rock, and the track that he had
followed disappeared down the Western
declivity Of the mountain.
1t was now necessary TO turn up the
ragged parapet or comb, and pass through
lis rocky teeth at n shallow depression, so
as 10 gain the concave side OF the mountain
where it threw Off a huge butiress or
shoulder above a mile long into the Catoctin
Valley, and near the union Of this hump TO
the South Mountains axis was 10 be found
the White Rock, lookout for hunters and
occasional eXcursionists
As the old man, with long bough, nogged
his horse across the length Of the ratJletrap
vehicle and also cKerted his gTistly strength
TO lilt the spolcs OF the hinder wheels, the
The National tribune., 1890-12-11

Thr T. SIS were long ne that season, and
The a.noon heat kept people from walk
ing ah. IA SO that Braddocly saw not any
hum ng during li- rouud-trip Of about
six from t1e Gap to The White Racl.
Sum nd back again by the steep west
err d..i witty into The great Cumberland
Na'Iey d home
lrT aHa there he had 10 set bis shoulder
and i.Hs TO the old skeletoR wagon 10
assist staryeling horse, but IN general
the m a'a.n ridge was leycl, and had a
lePi, acl, within the comb Of naked and
wea.l.I-aollowed rock that made the east
sn raHralt ike palisadc
II5adork was a frightened creature be-
cause DOB I'D bis turbulent liie he had never
killed ieliow-man, and now was making
himse aa accessory 10 murder from his
love ~ .s only respectable son.
Lr3 ous and pes.iierous as Braddocl,
hao n ), and made poor by "lawiugr
thourL ways The plaint.I and often yieto-
Tion- he bad become the last inhabuant
Of En ael lonesome and insecure habiia-
fion ..H was not bis own, he still feared
the aie law, and Dad the discernmout
10 ser DE waF concealiug, and therefore
Gssi- ra capital crime.
S. body became Ike a furnace between
his ha and bis agony, and ye, the perpi
ration .n bis face and bands was cold. III,
had d 'r De- and often consulted IT,
go-a.t DIS son on ibe fatal cord TO di.
him be bad often feared would be hi.
fan" E msGttua ol some Of bis ihicyisl
sch Hure now his alternatives; aHl
true ,o lHaious character. DE sought fol
some Dog q lay ihis 1re strait upon. and
There only oua the g.l who aauIl
upoa um bo without amy defender.
So M l.apt up jealousy between Ils be
loved and himself as hcr eNrsudiu,
beauy .lt DHddaeIs c0yal her and Arch,
fpiUu and restrain ben.
Non He was igll in Dor Ignorance 10 con
front 81 apremc and socre, crime, without
any otasr adviser than Eraddocll Beatts
himsa hose C0nc.it Of understand iug ane
1IEcuNyENTING THE LAW
was oqaal to ATchys late sell-assurauc,
shout reaching.
gh a man feared her wit. bat co'.ld mo-
Children Csgv for
The National tribune., 1890-12-11
Globe coniiu,fed)

[Br0okiy,t LGI


A small boy Of my acquaintance had been dis
obeyiug the domestic law and as a punishment
he was ordered to retire to a sofa and sit there
for the remainder Of the afternoon. At the end
Of five minutes he said
Mamma I want % get a book"
No. You must sit still"
After another lapse Of time he resumed:
Mamma 1 want to get my slippers"
"No."
Can't / sit on the floor E? "
"No."
Nor a chair?"
"No."
Well, want to get drink Of water"
Bridget viii take IL TO you"
Several other expedients for the temporary
recovery Of freedom having been tried without
success, a long and solemn hush succeeded.
Finally the culprit remarked, in a low and
rcvereut tone:
Mamma I can kneel down and say my
prayers, can't II"
That time the 5uppliant gained the aoOr and
kept it !0r the rest Of the day.
The National tribune., 1890-12-11
WAR "REMINISCENCES
LInrflnnrI I--,-.l 4 n r,.-...-L


tions ne took to shield bimsclfat their expense
against the consequences % any misfortune
that might beiIli any enterprise they were cou-
ducting were extremely di-couragjng and hate
fol As an instance: In the operations against
Island No. 10 10 became absolutely necessary
for Us 20 cross the Mississippi
Is TIE FACE or THE ENEMY
with large force This was an operation Of
great hazard and difficulty, but 10 bad 20 be
done it we were 60 be successful. i reported
% him all the facts Including my geEeuts
% effect the crossing. The day before I was 90
make the attempt 1 received q telegram from
him, giving It a7 his opinion that 10 bad better
not be undertaken, and advising strongly
against it, but ended his telegram by aging
that a5 ! was on The ground he would not
interfere With me by any order He thus
quietly placed the whole responsibility uruu
my shoulders. and placed bjmza'f iu the at.I-
tude of q l1oker-on. who had OhierJed 90 the
project ia hand. 30 that if &c proved successful
he. as the General Commander. would have
his full share Of the glory whereas. ii iJ
proved disastrous and q failure, he bad only
20 publish his telegram 20 me 90 prove that &c
was not only not bis fault, but that it had been
undertaken BY me wholly against bis advice.
This was certainly not an encouraging, nor in
any sense a satisfactory, situation for the inn
mediate commander Of such an expedition to
be placed in by his superior in command, nor
was 10 fair or Just Neither was it 20 be defend
cd that be should afterward. IN order % pro-
tect himself against adverse criticism in bis
operations at C0rinth telegraph the Secretary
Of War that [ had reported the capture OF q
great many prisoners from the enemy on rhcis
retreat, when / had never reported anything
OF the kind nor the capture OF even one pris-
Oucr.
His action in this matter was in accord with
his theory that any report which benefited the
public interests was 20 be justified, whether
true or not, but he displayed in this action not
only the unsCrupulous.rss born OF sUch q
theory and necessary o. execute such n maxim,
but tHe lack Of manhood 20 attempt TO lay the
responsibility Of the lalsehaOd on someone
else. 10 took some years, and the action Of the
War Department, to right the wrong be did.
He was an Hulovely man, hut be rendered
valuable service In recognizing the depart
mcut and establishing rs business on system
attic and efficient foundations He left both
troops and affairs generally in much better
shape than he found them. lie died a bitter
aud disappointed man, with many enemies
and few. ID any, friends. though he served in
such a position IN Washington for most Of the
war shat he ought % have had many and de-
voted friends. Ile was o loyal man to the core,
and earnest and JEALOUS in his efforts in behalf
Of the Government.
(Tl be roufig5frT1
The National tribune., 1890-12-11

at all,
BURIED IE HER MOURNING WORSHIP.
But at the sound Of old Braddock 's return
iug wheels she arose. took the gun aud
powder-h0rn and a bundle Of clothes, and
slipped down the stairs, apprehending that
she had some final crisis TO meet
lie had turned out his Ticketty horse,
taken a draft at the spring, and now he
steadied himself 10 exert commanding
influence.
She thoughtlully Volled the gun and effects
through the iirst door before she faced him.
Esgene-s, cunning and something of
shame c0uuieraeted the influence of the
dunk upon his face. lie unl0lded paper.
spread himself before her with legs and arms
planted wide. as IL 10 bar tie way, and
affected 10 rc%1:
The deposition of Braddock Beatty, Of
Washington County, Maryland, forester, con-
ceuHg the murder Of one COnnor or O'Con-
~, taken before Volenstein, Justice Of the
Peace and Notary, al Burkettsyilep
Going TO law again, Mr. Brad? Amt
you pore enough sence your son has Iun
away2 lie quick, sir! j am done with this
amily.'
Silence, am deputized a Constable,
woman, 20 take in custody Perry Turtle,
alias Beatty, for the dec0ylng and murder
with pirmctilapon Of one Connor or
I OG0nry.n
"Mcg"
"Pcrry, had 10 DO it. When they ind
the body hunt will begin. lie come yer
70 sec y0u tine aud Time agin; no soul ever
on The spot but gOa Of our family. MY tcsti-
mOuy is that ! found him dead; thai Archy
come arierward, and llied TO keep from bein'
witness agin youi an that / know no
more"
And that you have sworn TO, Brad?"
"RIghi YER
| DE held up the paper.
am going 10 make oath TO this. my
| daIlin', unless you marry me, aud pit
through with the weddin' this night. have
cauied you in my heart many day. A
lover must seize his chances, Perry, and /
/ think this is mine"
"You inieTmous william! To make a
| charge like that against me in this hour Of
my sorrow"
The National tribune., 1890-12-11
Liberalism Checked.
[Tcrus SnHgs.I

"That settles it," said Tom Chain, who at
tends a fashionable New York church, but is
said 10 be very close, while he is O5tensibly
pious; Eyes, that settles it." he repeated.
Settles WHAT asked his wife.
"Settlea the question Of our having beer for
dinner on Sundays. have just been reading
that the clergy are filed with alarm because
liberalism IS creeping into the churches. Now,
the dime have been putting Oh the plate every
Sunday goes for beer now on. If the preachers
are kicking about liberalism in the churches
I'll quit being liberal. That's all there is
about it."
The National tribune., 1890-12-11
An Outrage.
L LII. .LtLL-na

Citizen-You appear to be excited, deacon +;
whats the matter?
Deacou-That was q great outrage at the
opera house last night.
what was IL? Ididn't hear about it."
"Yon'ye seen them pictures about town Of
ballet dancers in short skirts ?'
"Yes."
"Well they wero to appear in a play and
went to see it. so that might warn our young
people against them"
What was the outrage you complain off"
They didn't appear. The Mayor wouldn't
let 'cm ,"
The National tribune., 1890-12-11

mel upan her SO troacherously chat she
wa. ahlcnod and ran into the hut
"FaHaw her close, Sonny!h spoke old
Beatty she's thconly wijnessagin your life.
Wcnra bar her in the house till We kin
b, i, body
Tho a,hcr had communicated his spirit Of
decision to the son, and both followed the
girl swiftly through the basement and up
the shallow cupboard stair, where Braddock
seized Aor menacingly:
"Nayboit's Archys life or yours huzzy J"
heexclUmed. "Whosaw the killing hutyou?
Who STOLE my secret paper from my cup
board Jut the gal ] raised? Them that
kin steal kin murder, and cf Archy an me
found two thieves I'm our house a burglarin'
OF ID. II WIS lawful for MS to kin 'em."
The ca6 pirate and liHgant dashed onen
his haa bcr closet tore down the rifle there,
and Ia bis hand upon the spike screws,
crying
"itar was my private paper keeriul'y
tuc.g1 away. Ny son, I'll show you the
emnv 1ot; fur not even you llnowod Of ii.
See. eono."
NJ ae words the wooden studding was
twr-ie eil. and the paper appeared.
Le dock was en- ins,an, confounded, and
hi -o.chief fell to The aoor Then he
piCA0G un llit rifle and whispered:
MAYBE SIZE Is a WITCH!
Yiscr this paper was gone. What signs
Is t7cu 81 81? witch eieur, by Godi sonny,
shall } aaot the wiich2
ASP dock threw down tho paper with
St. hi geographic characters which had SO
fri.hr. q him. Arehy, in pity Of tic giIl,
wa rlrsrd TO ten lie.
lto 4 tho paper MP. and with n guilty,
const .a-smiuen fce affirmed:
spa made them characters MYSELF
pssrv saw his dOwuUasl look, and knew
its cause 80 be the generous falsehood he
had tua 1or her.
SHe faolz the paper from Archy's hand,
and ,rning TO Hrlddocll Beatty, pointed
wiz i.cr finger TO the pnouographic signs.
"Thai was falsehood Archy told, Brad
dics. en- to the trEth, sir! A dead
man ra1a them sicns, and I think they
mean saa. he's got on The track Of the folks
Won st.,a heir property from. If that's the
fact won Kin never wash that writing Off
Ife tarcl nj her a moment, gave yell Of
terror. ara. suddenly trming, pushed her
into De closet and bolted the door upon
her
TEc rld mans wilful ability had been
tb.nl.r- while he ouarfeled and feared
"ArAe.n he whispered. 1--WE hit upon n
plan n.y bow MY crtter Is an hamesscd.
You s.and by this closet door with my gun
and keep her thar tin am out Of sight and
sound vaile III set the body on my waggin
and take back toward the Gap, vhar' thar's
easv wood grades fur my ole critter up TO
Che ton 0f the mountain. Ef anybody passes
me T'l have the corpse covered with the
Junk end carpet-rags I've gathered to-day.
This -hman was fond Of riding all over
the lonesome places on the mountain, and
III sc' him al the foot Of the White Rock
and pu' stone on his head whar' his skull
Is crref "a and leave him thar. Sometimes
nohoCv goes up thar fur a month, and the
buzzai6e win take most Of him away III a
week. Then as fur Perry, I've GOT a plan
The National tribune., 1890-12-11
A CrIfureh Annetifc.
{ Uest Chester Local NciUs. !

Do you think you could manage morsel
Of the turkey" said lie.
"Why, yes; but just a small piece, please"
lie started to trim of delicate bit and
asked Z" is there any part that yOu would
specially like, Miss 50"
oh, well, I'm not particular she answered,
as she looked demurely at her knife and fork.
Just give me a wing and a leg and few slices
of the breast. with portion Of the gizzard and
a spoonful Of dressing, and III reach the yege-
tables myseIf
The National tribune., 1890-12-11
lie Sought In Vain.
rAp,erican Groeer.I

Five years ago. began the stranger to
Weutman 81 sought that woman to be my
wife / believed her Congenial light-hearted
and beautiful. Has our married life been
pleasant? No."
Nor Why not?" asked Wentman.
why not? Because she declined 70 marry
me Of COuTse!"
The National tribune., 1890-12-11
A Goo'i collector.
rTrTdg SiGIiH1q.l

Lawyer Pullman is an Austin lawyer who
has a great reputation for collecting bad debts.
IL the money can be got out Of a man he will get
it. 1t was to this LAWYER that Bob BinIsIey re-
feFred when be was requested to run quick
for a doctor, rs neighbOr's child bad swaI-
lowed q com. Doctor be bIowed III run
for Lawyer Pullman; hen get the money out
Of the kid quicker than dozen doctors" said
Bob
The National tribune., 1890-12-11
Pretty strong.

ave gave you good notice in our paper"
"Oh, did you? Well, don't do il again.
don't mind your saying our vegetables are
delicious and the milk pure, but when you add
that cur butter speaks for Itself we object"
The National tribune., 1890-12-11
Read This!

THE NATIONAL tribune wishes the ad-
dresses Of all Eegimental Secretaries who have
not already communicated with Us, i'm order
that we may the more readily dispose Of in
uuiries for the whereabouts Of comrades which
We receive, and which il is Impossible for Us TO
publish On account Of their great number aud
our lack of available space. Secretaries will
thus gain knowledge Of the whereabouts Of
many missing veterans OF their respective
organizations, and by this means much good
may DO done.
The National tribune., 1890-12-11
Pats Little JOKE.
~. II IL IL

Nike-Phwat wages do you be getting now,
Pat?
Pat-One hooudrcd dollars
AIike-Phwat? One hoondred dollars a
mont:
Pat-One hoondred dollars fur one hoondred
days.
The National tribune., 1890-12-11
No Ground.
L...L

ION what ground, Mr.. Cautious do you pro-
pose To break our engagement
There is no ground, Miss Bellows; that's
the trouble. / had supposed, when we became
engaged, you owned large farm"
The National tribune., 1890-12-11
Schedule Time.
TNaln TnrE IEaaEll,

Mr.. Cheapsidc-I thought you said you were
going to Mrs Bricks five o'clock tea this after
noon. It's after five now.
Mrs. apside-There'5 no hurry Her five
o'clock tea isu't likely to be ready before seven.
She's got tie girl i used to have.
The National tribune., 1890-12-11

The Indians Great Spirit.
LPHtsbtwG Press
The Indians really believe in only one great
spirit, and that is never much above 90 per cent.
pure
The National tribune., 1890-12-11

Where the Money Was.
Grocer-Now, my little man, what do you
want?
Boy-Fifteen cents worth Of molasses.
Grocer fafteF he had drawn the m0lasses)-
Where's your money?
BOy-It's in the pitcher.
The National tribune., 1890-12-11
caution.

NAuGI0u.
ISiresl d Smiths Good Nelos.I
Mistress Gin carriaeel did you stop
for right on that railroad track?
New Coachman-Oi 5thOpped t. see if train
waZ comm.
The advocate., 1890-12-24
THE NATIONAL COUNCIL.
Proceedings Of the Meeting at 0Cala, Florida,
December 2, 1890.
From the National lFCOnOmlgt,

December z, 1870.
From the National Economist.
FIRST DAY. -
Meeting called TO order by the presi-
dent, L. l.. Polk, at 10 m. sharp.
Prayer by the chaplain, Rev. Isam p.
Langley, of Arkansas.
The following officers we're appointed
by the chair; Isam P. Langley, Of Ar
kansas, chaplain; A. e. Cole, Of Michl-
gan, assistant lecturer; II. M. Gilbert, OF
Indiana, doorkeeper; j. O. A. Hitler, Of
Missouri, and W. B. James, Of Kansas,
sergeants-at-arms.
Moved by Rogers, Of Florida, that we
extend an invitation to Governor Flem-
ming and other leading citizens Of
the state to the meeting this after
noon, which shall be for the public gem
orally. Carried.
The following telegram was received
and read;
sTANpToRDv1LE, N. Y, Dec. 2, 1890.
TOL. L. Polk,
The Empire state farmers send words Of
encouragement and greeting. Plow the
furrOw wide and deep.
EDGAR KNAPP, President.
A committee Of five was appointed on
credentials, W. j. Tslbert, Of South
Carolina, chairman; W. L. Peek, OF
Georgia; M. d. DaviO, Of Kentucky; G.
4. Barbee, Of Virginia.; P. B. Maxson, Of
Kansas.
The secretary was instructed to call
the roll of delegates by states, one dele
gate from each state to come forward
and hand credentials to the chairman on
credentials.
Brother Rogers, Of Florida, rose to a
personal privilege, and made the explana-
tiOu that 1t was the deshe Of the people
Of Ocala to carry out every promise they
had made the National Farmers Alliance
and Industrial Union and meant to en-
tertsin the delegates aud the officers Of
the national alliance free Of charge, and
that they would this afternoon assign a
large number Of the delegates TO private
boarding houses, and that the national
officers would be entertained at the
hotels.
The supreme council took a recess un-
til 2 o'clock, the meeting in the after
noon being for the public.
AFTERNOON SESSION.
Convention called to order at o'clock.
Brother Rogers, Of Florida, introduced
the governor Of Florida, Francis P. Flem-
ming, who made an address Of welcome.
Mr.. j. +. Dunn, Of Florida, was then
introduced by Brother Rogers. Mr..
Dunn made telling talk and gave words
Of encouragement and cheer to the farm
ers Of America.
HI. Loucks, Of North Dakota, re-