Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1890-08-13
ELEVATOR ETIQUETTE.
f14smau Hogs Who Seem to Be Withou3 the
Pale of the Law.

f11umau Hogs Who Seem to Be Withou3 the
). Pale of the Law.
! The manners displayed by people on
eur elevators are so striking that
should like to discourse of them.
should like to discourse of them very
much, indeed. But the lack of manners
exclusive attention.
Those weak-minded men. who bring
cigarettes or assafetida into elevator
ears, are certainly without the pale of
The law.
Milder offenders are those who bring
In an odor of chronic alcoholism. APP
parently there are some men SO unfor-
tunate that they can not drink any
thing without its going straight to their
breath. These men deserve our pity;
but they ought to be made to enter
buildings by the ire-escape.
There are imbecile people, though 1
do not know that their intentions are
evil, who get off excitedly at every land
ing where the door is opened, and look
about like startled fawns. The ele-
vator-boy has to win them back into the
lift with gentle words. After they have
arrived at the top, ingenious and kindly
questioning usually discovers the fact
that they are in the wrong building.
Business men-those men so fortunate
as to have not only intelligence but OPP
portunity for using it-are seldom SO
lacking in charity to their interiors as
to demand that dudes shall not ride in
an elevator with them. But they GER
tainly have just cause to complain to
the owner of the building when the
dude is one who turns to the mirror,
and affects to regard his image with
favor.
When there is a crowd waiting to take
the elevator, woman comes to the door,
and advises with the elevator boy conf
dentially, critically and in detail con-
corning a number of matters foreign to-
Che affairs of the inpa tient crowd. In
general, she uses an easy, ambling
voice, but occasionally she takes the
elevator boy up very shortly. She places
her arms across the elevator door in or
dsr that she may not be unwarrantably
disturbed by people entering t6e car.
When she has completed her inquiries
several times, she observes:
'Ah, as supposed"
There are some capitalists worth S4Oo,
who have become SO used to regarding
people as their slaves that they make
nothing of keeping car of serfs wait
dng, while they complete some moment
Gus commercial conversation. When
finally they enter, they seem to say:
Il am now ready; you may proceed"
But the prime offender is still an
sther. There is tendency of apoplexy
in my family, and l can speak of him
emily with the greatest caution. He Is
the genial, whole-souled gentleman.
usually corpulent brute, who, having
entered car, persists in remaining near
the door where all who come in must
crush by him. This erring person is
going to the top to see some obscure
tenant under the back rafters, and the
hideous malefactor takes a venomous
Satisfaction-a foolish but innocent de-
hght-in knowing that all who crush
by him coming in must also crush by
him going out-the poisonous, hunch-
backed toad
But the variety of clowns and felons
whom l could mention is endless I
once started in to make a catalogue of
all the ill-mannered people of this city
who ride on elevators, but / learned
with keen relief that the city directory
was engaged in getting the same
names.
If it were only the small, spiritless
men who transgress against good man
ners, | could advise forthwith how to
remedy the evil. But when l see how
many tall, disagreeabIe scoundrels"
there are who offend. / am the first to
admit that the subject is one demand
ing mature thought.
There is no reason, however, why we
should not begin at once with the little
men. They should be forcibly and fear
Bessly taught salutary lesson in eti-
quette. May be the large men when
they had seen how we regard bad man :
Hers, would feel ashamed of themselves.
-Williston Fish, in Puck.