The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1890-02-14
FANCY VERSUS FASHION.
QUANTITIES IN ETIQUETTE UN'
KNOWN TO SOME.

Some signs aud Wonders OF Ultra fash-
ionable Life-studies for Spoiled par
lings-Importsnce to Some, Fooiishnes-
to Others.
No less are we powerless TO stay the hand
Of progress when it dethrones the old Gus
toms Of manner and crowns the new than
when it shuts the door on the past, and
holds it ajar for the present. What we find
designated in quaint old books on etiquette
''polite and comely behavior Is now split
in counties. riyisectiOns as fine as a strand
Of maiden's hair, and termed good FORM
"A contradictory as il may seem one may
be thoroughly polite and yet not be "good
form.v and alas vice versa, for one may
be the manner Of kindly heart, and the
other but the essence Of ultra culture, gold
that does and does not glitter.
There are instances Of elegant women,
and men Of learning, who are self eNiied
from the folly regions of Vanity Fair. VINO
within its precincts, would be- like strans-
evs in a strange land. where customs,
manners, and accents would have foreign /
faint. Yet these petty intricacies Of Ell
quette. 80 like An unknown quantity 10 the
undoubtedly, in combination, a powerful
factor and make a distinct plus marEin the
sum Of fashionable existence. They are the
"trifes light as air" upon which the elegant
oilers feed, and al which the sturdy-minded
SOlOmons scot; but they are undoubtedly
the pretty bricks and mortar with which "A
fine and fantastic structure is built, and
forms and grows like the delicate coral
reefs, whose builders, the tiny p0lyps, the
whale Doubtless laughs TO scOrn.
Neritsble follies these may seem in the
enumeration, but albeit they are at least a
partial analysis Of the complication ac-
cepted to-day as good FORM"
La the matter Of formal visiting, the yisi
tor should shake hands heartily, not limp
D.. in greeting, but the graceful thing is 10
make an exit with as little stir as possible;
50 a forward bowling and backward step
ping sufiicetn.
The hostess should present the guests as
they enter a drawing-roOm, even though
they know each other, It is the necessary
coupling-pin 10 attach another coach and
makes the train Of conversation run as
smoothly as though there had been no sud
den stOppage.
The elegant hostess dismisses her guests
IN the drawng-rOom and not at the front
door. while those LETT view with a critical
eye the ornaments and pictures.
Where the traffic Of cardboard is whole
sale, card - left for each lady. For III
stance, where there are four in a family 10
be called on by three in another, twelve
cards are the herald force Of fifteen min
utes' call. But when the business is only
retail. the sign methods are adopted \
card unbent means for one lady; bent I'm
the middle, means all the ladies: and bent
st one corner as well, means for the guest
Of the house also.
Regrets 10 a formal invitation are under
stood when the card is simply sent in an en-
yel0pe TO the hostess.
Visits that cannot be returned in person
must be acknowledged by the card being
sent IN like manner having p. p. G. in the
left corner, We all know that this
was once a young lady who did
not. IL was at Old Point and one
of the bellies Of the season was very fond Of
mentioning incidentally that she WAS
cousin Of President POpe's. When she left
she sent around her "P. Z. C's." where |
upon a rival sneered in disdain: "She is so
proud OF being President Pope's cousin she ]
had 20 put 10 after her name on the card.'I
IL Is very inelegant 10 rock furi0usly in 2
rockingham. -
10 is no longer bad manners to yawn in |
company. If a cape viii come in the con-
yersatiOn, tits needless 20 try 10 stop il. |
COHcealmcnt wW feed upon the cheek. /
20 discuss your companions apparel. your /
hosts house furniture, pictures. china and /
repast IL quite the thing, if done /
IN the imperative degree Of praise. They /
are an works Of art in the present, |
tor art and criticism in the modern /
aspect are but >iamese twins, inseparanly 4
Joined and the beauty Of either entirely in /
the "eye ofthe beh0lder" To eat in public I.
was once the stamp Of yulgarity, now the /
bonbOnaire j. handed YOU for your partak. /
Ing OF one or two Of its grains of sugar, on /
the street corner in the car aud at the |
iheater with the very airlcst assumption Of |
the par excellence Of elegance. This may
Doe = good taste in the mouth but il is not in
manners. Dinner and luncheon etiquette
is certainly q formidable ordeal 10 the
novice. Yet if they are served
by skiliul caterers. there is really little
danger Of any accident Of Misrepresentation
Of their ample funds. 10 is true that the
fOrtliicatiOn OF ramparts bull, around the
plate Of forks, spoons aud knives and the
breasiw0gk OF glasses 30 the front. wears
sOmching Of q hostile look 10 any invader.
except the veteran 'diners-out;" but with
military strictness OF attention to the signal
Of the captain host, the seige OF the former is
carried successfully by beginning at the
NNN|A cue ~ NNuA NMAN lit lIIAlNtNLlNIh.
and as for the glasses, when these trenches
begin 10 ill up, the c0b-webs Of uncertainty
clear away-self iorgettulnesa ensues and
hence the citadel Of good manners is saved.
To rciusl "a course at a dinner is an NJ
pard0naDle breach-dissemble. but decline,
never.
or course the host gives the signal for
rising, except in the case Of the entertain
ment being given 10 any one. then the hon
....I. a.
II Is not quite the Ning 10 tell ''what nice
time YOU had" on bidding adieu. II be-
comes stale on the occasion. but unlike
other good bred customs, will be iresher if
kept for another time.
Never take leave Of the hostess in your
wraps. A visiting card should be left when {
attending a tea. Every invitation should
be acknowledged by call within the week.
In calling do not ask il 1.-THE ladies' are at
home," but Vii the ladies are receiving"
This u q respectful request Of that class
who answer the d00r-bell and 'bl0ngst ter
de- chuch.n
a gentleman should make his exit always
by graceful back-action motion out Of the
door.
The "grand, gloomy and peculiar elegant
young man IN formal and uncomfortable
calling, does not take OF his top coat, his y
cane, his left glove or his smile. but sits a
while beside YOU on the edge Of his chair. rs !,
well as on needles and pins, holds his silk !
bat, his glove and his tongue, and wears y
bis cane ia his right hand and wears you I
right out
The man Of fashion stands with both
hands in his trousers pockets. II he hap :
pens % need one OF them for something !
trivial like lifting his hat, the pocket ex-
;uses him for few minutes, as il is more I
accustomed 10 a vacancy than is the hat.
A bunch Of yiOlets az the left OF the throat. y
lr single handsome rose. American
Beauty or La France, stuck in the front oil
De gown is the correct floral wear. For
evening few natural flowers are worn. but
srge bunche, Of them tied with ribbon are ,
correct and handsome for any dress Occa-
ion, whether il be the theatre or the bali
Dom.
II is "bad form" 10 apologize for anything y
hat can't be helped. Look as though thy :
ault was meant 10 be, and nine times out y
4 ten IL will take the form Of the correct !.
hing 20 the observer. Never 20 visiting =
With packages.
Unless you are IN training for waitress. =
% not address Miss Mary Smith a. Miss ~
larry. Either be formal and say Miss y
HtN. c. d HfI ]