Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1890-10-26

WOlk III my ONCE, ana no matter WneTe
go she is in my mind. l have learned to
love her-love her dearly, and"
Heavens sake, man ~ interrupted the
deacon excitedly, this is serious case,
Don't you know who she is either ?n
"Oh, yes 1 know who she is
"Who?"
MY wife"
The hypnotized individual popped out
of the car door in time to escape vicious
swipe from the deacon's stout walking
stick.
1t was in the evening and the car was
moving along slowly in the suburbs.
"Tomal-ee Hot tomal ~
The shrill voice of the vender rang out
sharply upon the night air, and all OF the
passengers shuddered. One of them in
particular shuddered a more distinct shud-
der than the Others.
whats the matter, Clarence?' asked
his companion.
"0h, nothing"
Two young men who occupied seat
further back gigsled when they heard
Clarence's reply.
Nothing, eh?" said one of them, still
giggling. You bet Clarence don't like TO
hear that word tomato little bit. 1t
CRATES upon his nerves."
cS, Icpileu Iue OlueT SlSSleTs Dul,
| say, George, what Yves the real story con-
nected with that affair? I've always
known that Clarence had a mortal dread
of tomsles, but never knew just why"
"Ha ha ha You have missed it,
was the merry reply. Its good joke on
Clarence, and he doesn't like to be twitted
about it, either. 1t happened some time
ago. shortly after he came here from the
East. He was out riding with his cousin
| one day and they passed a vineyard out
| near the cemetery. Clarence had never
seen anything like those massive stalks
| and vines before, and inquired what they
| were. His cousin, who is an incurable
| practical joker. replied that the place was
one of the most hourishing tomale orchards
| in the State, and those were tomato trees.
Clarence, Of course, was surprised, but
never doubted the truth of the assertion
Some time later, however, he was convers-
| ing with nice young lady, and was tell
ing her of all the wonders of California he
had seen. Incidentally be mentioned the
wonderful tomato orchard he had in
| spected, and the nice young lsdy exploded.
| Clarence didn't understand; but when he
| did he was the maddest man in Sacramento,
/, and he has never fully recovered
A we'll lawyer and the professor
of one of our local educational institutions
| met on blue bobtail car the other evening
and engaged in scientific discussion.
"By the way, Professor" said the barris-
| ter, now that the word politics is on every
tongue, l have been wondering where that
word came FROM
"Humph That's queer coincidence"
replied the Professor, "the same thou sht
| occurred to me a few days ago, and
| looked the matter 5up. can tell you all
about it,
"Wish you would"
"Well, listen, then. Etyfhologists have
told US that the word politics was derived
| from the Latin 'politicus which, in turn,
was derived from two Greek words mean
| ing citizen and State. But the later sci
entists show up the errors of the lexicogra-
pliers in many ways, and in the derivation
! of this word puts the laugh upon the
! learned heads who gave the word such a
high born pedigree. Itappears now that the
word originated in an English inn during
| the Elizabethan period. This inn was
notorious from the great number of bed
| ticks that infested it. The inn-keeper was an
| old classic scholar, whose ambition had
been chilled by perjury, sHperinduced by
strong drink, and he was satisfied with
running cheap and not very clean place.
| Oftentimes during the night, as the guests
sat about the bar.room telling stories, the
company would be startled By an uproar of
curses and maledictions, coming from some
| room overhead. OF course everybody
| landlord would shrug his shoulders and
answer 'polyticks' word poly being
the Greek prefix for many So often did
the old landlord use this expression that it
soon became byword and when any one
would get excited, and howl and yell about
| anything, some wag would suggest that
| 'polyticks was what allied him. thus the
word became a national slang word, and
| was used in derision 10 those who talked
enthusiastically upon public affairs, cleo
| tons, etc. In time the slang-word referred
only to elections and matters pertaining to
| them-and there we have it. Now another
! thing L"
The Professor happened to glance at his
friend, and to his disgust found that he
was asleep.
A San Jose man is responsible for this
one:
Hello, Jones, you look tired and sleepy
this morning"
Eyes. Been up all night. Club had a
stag party last night, you know"
II heard about it. What time did the
party break up?"
well, that depends upon what you have
reference to. We began to break up the
peace about midnight. At about o'clock
| we broke up the dishes and glasses. A lit
| tie after O'Clock we began to break up the
furniture. An hour or so later we started
| in breaking each others heads, but day
broke in and we dispersed"
| A well-known gentleman who resides on
P street was ordered by his physician to
| give up his usual indulgence in fifteen
cigars day.
He told his wife about it the other even
ing;
little lady, Now we can buy new piano,
can't we, dear ?"
When Congressman Morrow was in Sac
ramento recently State Central Committee
man Steffens took theAistineuished guest
in tow and showed him the sights.
1t was during pleasant little ride out II
| street that Mr.. Morrow took occasion to i'm
part to Mr.. Steffens much valuable inform
| tariff bill and of the grand work Just COM
pleted by the Republicans at Washington
Mr.. Steffens had far-away look in his
eyes, and while he was not actually rude
in his inattention, it was plain that the
subject did not interest him very much.
"Yes, sir, went on Mr.. Morrow" the
Mckinley bill is one of the grandest things
ever conceived for the good of the Ameri-
can people. There is scarcely business
that is not benefited, and the farmers in
particular should rejoice. Oh, it is one of
the grandest-but l say, Steffens, the SUBJ
jeet don't seem to enthuse you very
much"
Not great deal; no."
Maybe, then, your business is not
affected by the tariff ~
well, not great deal"
What business, may ask, are you en-
gagged in?'
Politics"
Mr.. Morrow sighed spasmo5ically, and
then talked of the weather.
What was all that connection about in
the Salvation Army barracks, little while
ago?u asked one of the passengers of the
police officer who had just boarded the
car.
''Oh, there was just stampede of no
boes'
ssWhat was the matter ~
well, understand that the head Saliva
ZIONIST started in his sermon BY saying.
and ye shall all be washed this day. Do
you wonder that they stampeded ?"