Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1890-10-03
dare say he has told you that he has be-
come very fond of jaguar hunting!''
'Ah, jaguarsl Tell me, Mr.. Thompson,
toll 1,,aiv

come very fond OF jaguar hunting"
"Ah, jaguars Tell me, Mr.. Thompson,
tell me'
''Well, he went out jaguar hunting one
day, as usual-ah-he was accompanied
only by his servant. They entered the
brush-ah-. Suddenly, and without warn
ing, a huge female-ah-jaguar sprang
upon your husband and-ah-bore him to
the earth. The native fled for assistance;
help arrived; the victim was found faint
from loss of blood, with the right arm
torn from it's socket, his left eye destroyed,
and the calf of his left leg-ah-deeply
scored by the ferocious claws of the cruel
monster"
'tDear me, how alarming" commented
Mrs Hanscom, and the EXPLANATIONS
seem so slight after the awful story that
Mr.. Hanscom felt seriously disappointed.
'That fully accounts for his low spirits.
His right arm"-
eyes, torn out of the socket He has
learned to write with his left hand"
''Ah, dreadful! and his left eye de-
sstroyeds"
eyes, he wears glass eye, poor fellow"
"It must be agony. And the calf of his
leg deeply scored? Terrible misfortune!
And when you left him how was he? Will
he surviveS" A new light seemed to break
upon Mr. Hanscom. Did his wife want
him to survive. He felt by no means sure
of it.
sit is impossible to say with certainty"
he said, but you must hope for the best.
Let me beg of you, my dear Mrs. Hanscom,
to keep up your spirits"
ooh, I don't see why I should be mis-
cradle. There is very pleasant society
about here; and you know there are as
good fish in the sea as ever came out of it"
Toms worst suspicious were by this
time more than confirmed. "The heart
less woman" he thought. "This is how
she receives the news of my being man
gled and disfgured." But still unwilling
to give up hope, he continued aloud:
"Poor fellow, assure you that in his
delirium your name was very often on his
lips"
gotten meS''
Forgotten you?" repeated Tom, his
feelings for the moment getting the better
of him. "Oh, mol think it is but the lot
of few women to have a husband so utterly
devoted to her."
'tAnd of few men to have wife,
$50 charming said Tom, finishing the
sentence.
Oh, Mr.. Thompson! Of course you will
stay to luncheon. Do, to please me. You
know that a woman hates solitude little
less than smallpox. One moment. I will
just go and give the necessary orders" and
she quilted the room.
''Well, this is awful" reflected her hus-
band. ''She reminds me that there are as
good fish in the sea as ever came out of it.
suppose she would like to marry some
one else 1 believe 1 will leave her at once
and never let her know the truth"
His meditations were cut short by the
return of his wife. Her style of converse
ton made Tom more and more reckless,
and he launched into an account of an inn
aginary picnic where he had broken the
hearts of several pretty girls and had be-
haved in highly reprehensible manner
'sIt must have been very delightful"
said his wife, II wish had been there /
have nice times here sometimes, and as a
married woman I ask whom like to my
house. You must come and sup with me
again, Mr.. Thompson" When Tom ap-
peared to get respondent and blue she
told him that he was too good looking to
give up, and that she would give him AN
her sympathy.
ct am not worrying myself bit," cried
Tom.
81 am glad to hear it," returned she, II
don't worry myself Cozy suppers and"-
'"The probable death of your husband"
ooh, am philosophical We only lived
together short time. What am to him?
What is he to me? Life is still before me-"
81 wonder if she would like to get up
Irritation with me-" thought Tom. "Ah!''
he said aloud, eff thought might hope
for little of your SYMPATHY
"Surely it would be unwomanly of me
to refuse it."
Tom drew his chair a little nearer.
"Can't you give just little of your SYM
pathy and love to me?" said Tom.
She gave scarcely perceptible token of
assent, when Tom sprang up and con-
fronted her. ''What would your betrayed
husband think of this? You are vicious
woman. have no respect for you"
''Then why did you ask for my lover"
Because wished to assure myself that
you were the vicious woman now know
you to be-"
care you going, Mr.. Hanscom?' (meekly).
eyes, I had better go; it is for the best;
we could not be happy. Good-by," and
he started for the door.
"Good-by," she echoed, and continued
in another tone, "but, Tom"-
f'Tom? Who told you my name was
that"
"You did, two years ago, you goose"
"And you know me, Lydia; you have
known Inc all along?"
"No; did not know you until you told
that tremendous story about the jaguar.
Then there was no installing you" Then
they forgave each other and loved.-Cecil
Hastings in Omaha World-Herald.
Fun with Cork Leg.
1t would not be supposed that any one
could get much fun out Of a cork Leg
Yet knew man who had the misfort-
une to lose his leg who got good deal of
amusement out Of it's cork substitute.
Once he nearly scared an old gentleman
out of his wits.
1t was in this way: The said cork leg was
a very well made one, and when its owner
was seated you could not tell the difference
between the real and false article One
day my friend was in a railway car and op-
posite him was an old gentleman. My
friend took out his penknife and began
pairing his nails
When he had finished instead of nuttino