Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1890-05-23
GLOOM DISPELLr2S.

when she drops her eyes. Thence
forth she is of necessity blind.-Bing.
hamton Republican.
Said the shingle TO the cyclone:
"You're windy" Said the cyclone to
the single: CAV, come off the roof /!
-Terre HRute Express.
The conductor says, "Move up for
ward, please" and the passengers do
not stir. The driver suddenly jams
down the brake and moves 'em.-Som-
erville Journal.
Mr.. N. Peck-I think if any one is
entitled TO a pension it's me. Nudge
You were never in the war, were you?
Mr.. n. Peck-No, but the fellow my
wife was engaged to got killed at Shi-
loh.-Terrc Hautc Express.
St. Peter-IIalt!
New Spirit-Can't | come in?
st. Pcter-Td rather you wouldn't.
You are just out of college, and we
don't want any advice about running
the universe.-N. Y. Weekly.
"Where are we going now?" said
the prisoner as the guard loaded him
into the Black Maria.
"You are going TO the police court"
was the reply.
"Ah, | see; we are merely out for
q trial trip. "-Washington Capital.
Old Moneybags-"Why do all young
girls like to go to the circus? Can you
tell me, daughter?" Daughter-"I
don't know; why?" Old moneybags
(eyeing his daughters hands)-"Be-
cause they like ring show. "-Kear-
ney Enterprise.
These is nothing like giving full
particulars. An exchange in telling
its readers of an accident by which a
hunter blew OFF ''the entire top of his
head" is thoughtful enough to add
that "death was instantaneous" Bos-
ton Transcript.
One who is anxious to succeed asks:
"What is always safe rule to go by"
That's tough question. However,
we rise to the emergency. If you
come to saloon on your way to sue
cess it is always safe rule to go by
Ihllauelphla freSS.
"Why do you poison yourself with
that vile stuff" asked the Prohibition
list of the tramp. "Cause it's the best
/ kin afford, You don't expect poor
workin' man 10 be a-blowin' hisself
agin champagne cocktails, do ye?'-
Tcrre Haute Express.
A brolyo, ,,;lot ,ybooI etonoo5 n ,o;1
way train in Connecticut last week,
but the Yankee-born conductor re-
placed the wheel with railway res
taurant mince pie, and succeeded in
running his train into New York on
me.-Somerville Journal.
Mr.. Import (to applicant for posi-
tom: "You say you are able to dis
tinguish genuine diamond. What
are its principal featuresW Arthur
Smart: "a grand stand, home plate,
and wbitewash lines between the
bases. "--Jeweler's Weekly.
Miss Crimple Ito clerk of Snake
Greek House)-Will you please send
the porter to our room, Mr.. Bigstud?
Clerk-Yes, MAN, anything wrong
Miss Crimple-Papa Just shot mos
quito, and we would like Patrick to
carry it out.-Munsey's Weekly.
A sure method-'|You s-s-s-say YOU
c-can t-tell a f-feller h-h-how tito
av-v-void stuttut-tutering f-f-for wo-
w-one d-dollar?" Eyes" "W-well,
h-h-h-eere's y-yor d-d-d-doll-ollar.
fnt- tint
ing?" "Don't talk."-[H arper's Ba-
Zaar.
He was the Ounce of his class; that
was what they said of him. But one
day the teacher put this question to
him; allow do you pronounce s-t-i-n-
g-yW cit depends good deal on
whether the word refers to person or
a bee, was the reply.-Christian Advo-
cate.
81 notice that lake in Michigan is
getting lower every year, and the peo-
pie fear it will disappear entirely" re-
marked a Pittsburger to an Irish
friend. "Perhaps there's lake at the
bottom and the water runs out" sug-
gested the latter. "-Pittsburg Chron-
icle-Telegraph.
A statistician has discovered that q
man 60 years old has devoted 2 years,
ten months and three days to button
ing on his collar. The statistician
neglected to state how many years the
same man devoted to hunting for col
lar button when it had rolled under the
bed.-Lawrence American.
Canada lin great wrath, TO John
Bully don't you bring your
iron-clads over here and teach these i'm
pudent Yankees lesson?" JOHN Bull,
"Sit down child, sit down. | can't
afford to quarrel with them. Got too
much money invested in their blawsted
country. "-Chicago Tribune.
"Pat, is this true that | hear?"
can what's that, yer Honor?"
"That you are going to marry again.
"That's so, yer Honor"
"But your first wife has only been
dead week"