Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-08-31
WOE.
She Copies for Playwrights and Finds
Them half Cracked,
ESPECIALLY On MONEY MATTERS
Play That Made Her Fall to the Floor and
Tear Her Apron.
WRITING LETTERS FOR A LOVER

|
NEW YORK, August 30.-"I'm that sicl
of plays could 60 and jump off the Brook
| lyn bridgep
! The exclamation came from the lips of /.
pretty typewriter who has an Office in th,
principal theatrical exchange in New YorE
and who makes a specially of dramatic
work. All plays and players parts ar,
done on the typewriting machine now; al
are also good many theatrical contracts
though most of these are on regular printed
forms
''If people had to read all the dramatic
rot brought in here for me to copy they
would never enter another theater," con-
tinued this sprightly damsel. "You have
seen good many stupid things on the
stage-and read many more you wouldn't
60 to see. Well, they compose the flower Of
the flock. You just ought to read some of
these that never reach the dignity OF pub
lie presentation They are probably numer-
ically in the same proportion as rejected
manuscript in great publishing house is
to the accepted articles"
She is tall and panther-like in moye-
ment, dark-eyed, brown-haired, masculine,
quick and keen OF speech. With little
encouragement she unbosoms her long
pentup spirit Of rebellion.
THEY'RE CRAZY.
"No, you couldn't pull me into theater
with span Norman horses. Pm sick of
plays and disguised with players and play
writers. Know any playwriters? They're
the biggest cranks you ever saw. All play
writer's, like poets, are crazv-more or less
They couldn't write such jim1jam stuff and
be sane like everyday business people,
And poor-well, they're usually as poor as
the plays they write-never have enough
money to pay the typewriter for copying
their little pieces-that is, most OF them. II
one out Of thousand o. these playwriters
makes hit some other fellow gets the
money. Just like an inventor. The inven-
tor makes strike with patent--smart
man with money buys it for song and puts
patent on market. Smart man with money
makes sfortune-inventor lucky to continue
to keep out OF poorhouse."
The glory and reputation of it."
That's what they live on. Why, these
playwriters are the yainest set oil men in the
world, next to actors. They think their
little piece is going to upset the universe
They always ask my opinion"
HERE'S AN INSTANCE,
oho uay q occuy lOOkInS man Wild lOnp
hair and companion with no hair at ali
came in with play. The long-haired man
had written it and the bald-headed man was
his backer. 1t was 6ve-act play. Put on
the way it stood it would run from 6 o'clock
in the evening till in the morning. They
asked me what the charge would be to copy
the play and furnish the parts. I said $40
for the play and So for the parts. The
bald-headed hacker nearly fell down stairs.
As for the author, he just looked around in
dszed sort of way as if he had been asked
for half million, or was trying to figure out
the number oil beers S22 would buy. When
the bald-headed man recovered he mildly
suggested that peinHps meant 50.
When you read the play put in the
author, I'm sure 1t will please you.' As ii
it would pay me ior copying it'll Yes, he was
in dead earnest, too.
~ wouldn't read it for less than S1O,' I
replied. That is my price
Ihey went away--to see if they couldn't
get 1t done cheaper, / suppose.
THE WORK REQUIRED.
"But very few typewriters understand the
preparation OF plays. 1t is a business. The
manuscript is usually bad-sometimes hor-
rible-and is not in any kind OF shape. The
parts must be picked out, the cues, scene
plot, scenery, properties exits, entrances.
ETC., written in, and this in regular form
for and Ineligible to the actor.
Each part is bound together.
well, I'm getting away. The bald
headed man and the long-haired author
finally came back to me. cut off S4 from
the price and took the job. They paid me
In $40 bill-six ones and the rest in dimes
and nickels. The loug-haired man lur-
nished the nickels. I began the play on a
Friday morning, and was to have it ready
with the parts by Monday noon. supposed
the company was ready for rehearsal, they
were SO particular about the time. 1 gave
the bald-headed man a sheet of paper and
pencil and asked him to write down the char
acters.
"'The what?' said he.
"The characters--nameso Of your people
said l, so nan put 'em ln.'
"'Oh. put in anybody said the author.
We haveh't-that is, the company is moi |
Just ready
IT WAS A sTUNNER.
Upon my word," laughed the pretty |
that play was the funniest |
piece ever got out So far as my assistant |
and l were concerned it was the howlingest |
kind OF u bowling success. fell off of nv
chair four times in the first act. As for nv |
girl, she is little stout and was in mo- |
nentary danger OF apoplexy Laughl
Mr.. Erlanger came. up from the EXCHANGE
n the basement to fnd out what was the
natter. When we told him it was the play
ne said he'd buv that play without looking
1t it. We shouted through the locked door
hat there were "a working characters in il
ind he went away with a deep groan. mar
owly escaping a couple dozen actors who
sere ready to ask for engagements on the
piece.
"Us girls laughed till we cried. No sooner
lad we fairly quieted down than one of Us
would snatch copy n walk up and down
he floor, spouting the lines. On, it was the
worst ever saw! There was not char.
cter in the piece who was allowed to speak
As for the stage business
can scarcely keep from shedding tears
ven now when think oil it. To crown all
ont you know, that con ounded couple
anne in on US suddenly the next day and
urprised us in the middle OF the fun.
OPINIONS DEMANDED.
"'What is your candid opinion of the
iece?' timldly inquired the author.
Yes, put in the bald-headed msn. (who
ooked like the keeper of a hot sausage
land at South Beach, )-'what do you honest
= think of it as-that is, as Tar as you've
one?'
" Think of itr said I, soIemnlv, ,vbv.
;'s greatl It's immensel If I hadn't
pent that money on pool tickets this morn
,g I'd give it back to you and do your play
,r nothingP
81 was SO full of laughter that 1 was seri-
us--almost hysterical. They took it seri-
usly, too, and were almost ready to fall on
ach others neck for joy. They went away
nd didn't come back for week. Had
robably got drunk and been locked IN. As
ION as their backs were turned we locked
le door and looked at each other q moment