Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1890-08-03

uon Try To sell many OF them, nut when
they do offer them il is at an advance of
about $50 per cent on ordinary retail
rates. But if you don't buy some of his
truck the peanut butcher enters into a
conspiracy with a brakeman 10 give YOU
some unreliable information and donates
a cigar TO the baggage smasher which is
intended TO bride that person into throw
ing your trunk further and harder than
any body else's trunk When the millen-
ium comes there viii not be any peanut
butchers on trains or anywhere else this
side OF Yuma.
=.
met ON the train the other day Mr.. C..
L. Helm, of kittitas county. lie was on
his way TO France to buy some more
Perchcron horses. lie only has about
2cO head of horses in Klttltas and Doug
counties. and a. he is fond of horses, you
can readily see how he must suffer with
only 900 head on hand. He told me so
much about horses that expect to have
the nightmare "a soon a. | retire this
evening. Unexplained to me that Nor
man horses are the offspring of five
crosses of the PercherOn with ordinary
horse stock. lle goes To France 10 the
hills of Normandy. the department OF
Orue and other rural localities. and talks
French by proxy To the Percheron breed
ers. and then comes home with enough
horse flesh to last him until he takes an
othe spell of wanting more horses. and
of he SKips Ia France again. He doesn't
buy any of his horse flesh in Paris. where
people buy almost everything else that
comes from France. That j. probably be-
cause the Parisians ate mp all their horse
flesh during the seige. just before the
Kaiser William went in and allowed the
Prussian blue to sport on Paris green
Mr.. Helm has ON his ranch near Ellens-
burg fifteen-acrc lot fenced eight feet
high with roycn wire. and ON that lot he
has collection OF birds. animals aud one
thing and another. that would make Bar
nuns heart leap for joy II "a we're not
handicapped by envy. Antelope. wild
geese. seals, deer. buffalo. bear. ana any
thing elise geological. >pasmOdical. or
illogical. from an uruythoricu> 10 the cow
boy who cus>e, them all In detail. Mr.
Helm Is one of the weaitllic~t men in Kit
jita~, brit there is Ho blooming nonsense
about him. lie has good sense "a well a.
. many dollars lic was born iu Oregon.
aud has been In the saddle ever since DE
was nine years old. except az brief utter
vals when be- has gone O. France or else
where trying TO satisfy hi. abnormal APP
pitito for horses. lie said o. me- hat one
time " hen lac wa. un his Nar hlm. from
the East he stopped 90 a big -'or. in Buf-
. falu with his wife % uuy irN hundred
dollars worth OF store clothes l4r thcni-
selves. He wore az tine time broad
cloth suit. plug hat and gold headed
cane. When he told he merchant 20 ship
+ the goods 10 HIM at Ellensburg. Washing
ton. the merchant asked him II ne ever
saw any of those wild COW boys. Indians
and other people Of that character in that
region. Yes" said Mr.. Helm. II have
been cowboy all my life.' After
B that Mr.. Helm added, "the merchant
didn't believe anything ! said II you
would read some good books about the
West. | told him, instead OF the blood =
and thunder truck you do read. you'd get
some information about that country
suppose you think a real COW boy has
guns strapped all around him and bowie
knife handles sticking out in half dozen
places. Now the fact is that cow boys of
that kind are only the kind that herd
fools in eastern cities. We wouldn't en-
ploy them on our ranches. and they
wouldn't work II We did. They mostly
play pianos, wear long hair. shoot az pat
ent self-acting targets. and sing idiotic
songs ia broken winded bartones aud
blood-curdlng falsettos for dime muse
ums.
| am writing this epistle at three O'Clock
a. m. | am in the office of the Spokane
Review. where editors. reporters. proof
readers aud composltors are working as
If for dear life. while carpenters. brick
masons and other artisans are building a
house around them. To the clickety
click of the press. the buzz Of the saw
the ring Of the trowel and the tap of the
hammer keep time. sometimes. hut at
other times they do not they keep try
ing just the same. however. and il must
BE- trial to the brain workers If they
were not used to il. have not had q
chance to see anything Of Spokane yet.
except hv night. But have seen enough
TO show me that ii Is a busy. cnterprising,
pushing city. The opera house block
pDVf fg4rlr s.utufataT O.. t.r,Iaf1t- ttt,