Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1890-07-31
HUMOR.

| y Is one.
AMLK shake-discharging the driver
of wagon.
Il CAN'T see what you are driving
at, was the remark of blind horse.
"THIs is a hard set, rs the hen said
when she was trying to hatch a porce-
lain egg.
FIRST fisherman : What luck :?
Second fsherman-None at all: can't
get the cork out.
WLL-Don't you think Miss Plain
homely? BILL used to think SO be-
fore learned she was an heiress.
"WELL, Tommy, do you know that
you have got another little brother this
morning?" "Ohl have 1 Does mother
know 2"
BfLL1NGs-Well, my boy, are you
satisfied with married life2 Benedict
Satisfied? Why, 1 am perfectly
satiated with it.
WHAT shall we do to get our young
men to the front 2" asks q writer. The
answer seems plain: Induce the older
ones to take back seats.
SHE-I do believe Grace Thorndike
gets engaged to as many as twenty fell
lows every summer. He-Aha! A kind
OF three days grace, as it were.
AN old sailor at the navy yard OBJ
served that there is one advantage in
Arctic explorations. In the face of the
gravest perils one can always keep
cool.
A MATTER of paste-"Ye see Missus
Stookey's d'monds yit?" ayes; bnt 1
blieves dey's paste" Il shouldn't
wondah. Her mans billposter, any
how, We know"
MINIsTER-I would not consult Elder
Close on the subject. He never gives
noticed that when the collection plate
is passed around.
WHATS the reason, doctah, that you
signs yourself Jawge Washington
Jones, p. ID. OF" Dose we're lettahs
my title. / amt no simple M. ID. Ise
Pill Doctor of Quinine in de swamps."
CIRcUMsTANTIAL evidence Mrs. Yer
ger Ito colored servant)-Do you know
when Col Yerger came home last
night? SAM dunno, mum, but when
/ tuck his boots at o'clock, they
was warm.
JOHNNY, Johnny!" said the minis
ter, as he met an urchin one Sun day
afternoon CARRYING string of fish. "Do
those belong to you ?" "Ye.yes, sir,
you see that's what they got for chas
ing worms on Sunday"
SHE oh, just look at that bonnet,
hux
a dear. It's the dearest little thing in
the world. He-One moment. Does
bfIce, or 70 tile bonnet?
"JoHN," said Mrs. Billus anxiously,
@you whipped Willie too hard. His
spirit is utterly broken" What makes
you think SOP" inquired Mr.. Billus.
"He asked me a little while ago if |
didn't want to cut his hair"
MRS MERRITT hear your daughter
lost her llnce as typewriter. Did she
make some misak Mrs. Badger
Yes, she fell in love with one Of the
clerks before she had given her en-
ployer time enough to take liking to
her.
COMPROMISE.
Och. Father OReilly," says Patrick, so slyly,
Tvs nOWIy SAINT ietef WISH you coulu poI
Ycrself I'm that station wud bo my salvation
Yo'd let into heavin the likin's of mo-
NO, Fatrick don't latter yourself on tina.
matther."
SAYS Father o'Reilly, "I know ye too well.
But for yer consoln, I'D best be controlltn'
The gates Of the divil to bar ye from hell
Mr.. GoTHAM-It is time for us to
start for Mrs Do A-a~~~'c Int ahem
Don't YOU think you ought to spruce
- ls.tivF Ov1. K"intuOk (of Louie
yille)-Ohl ahl Yes, certainly. Just
wait moment, until l take o fresh
quid and reverse my cuffs.
"PRoGREssIvE conversation parties"
have been introduced as a new form of
amusement. A progressive conver-
sation party takes place when three
Young ladies meet for the first time in
three days; and when a man finds that
his wife has used his razor to open a
fruit can, he's that kind of "party"
all by himself.
WHIFFERs-Ah How do you do?
Well, out with it, old man, What sue
cess? You said you were going back
to your native town to hunt up your
first love, from whom you parted years
ago-the airy, fairy Lillian you raved
about, you know. Did you find her
Differs (sadly)-Y-e-s. She's drawirg g
500 week as the champion fat woman
| of dime museum.