Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1890-06-11
From the Lowell Courier.
HOW THEY LOST A PASTOR

The First Church at Brandon were
seeking a pastor, an occupation that had
engrossed their energies for some time
past. For it was fully seven months
since the council had assembled to
formally dismiss Mr.. Barnes, and had
declared the pulpit vacant. Mr.. Barnes
had labored faithfully in their service
for five long years. During this time he
had preached good, if not brilliant SER
mons; attended regularly at the prayer
meeting; and made all the pastoral
calls that one mortal man, without a
horse and buggy, could reasonably be
expected to make. And yet his cOngre-
CATION were not satisfied. limitations
finally reached the ears of the good man
that his resignation would be resignedly
accepted. He sent it in, and the papers
next day announced the grief of the
First Church at the resignation of their
beloved pastor, Mr. Barnes, whose
wife's health forced him to seek more
salubrious climate. Whereupon it de-
volved upon the orphaned congregation
to choose for themselves pastor-a
man after their own hearts; one who
should possess all the virtues of their
late pastor as we'll as those he lacked.
They proceeded to search for him in
truly orthodox way, namely, by enter
tanning candidates. Sabbath after Sab
bath beheld different divine in the
pulpit. They came, we knew not
whence, and returned, we knew not
whittier. They embraced every known
type of man, from the venerable d. D.
of three score and ten to the immature
theological student of twenty-one sum-
mers.
The doctrine preached to that people
during the season of candidating was as
variegated as the patchwork silk quilt
which they presented to their late pas
tors wife on her birthday. It branched
out into every known ''ism." There
was the cold school" and the "new
school," old-fashioned orthodoxy and
modern tree thought. There were SER
mons with strong leanings toward hber-
alism, and there were others oozing or
thodoxy at every pore. And there
were scientific sermons without end,
and poetical and philosophical ones
But in all this variety the people found
not the man they sought. There were
some insurmountable objections to
every candidate. Rev Mr. Aber-
crombie gave them good sermons, but
the college students declared that his
gestures were "eXecrable," and would
demoralize their own ''style;' and they
came en- masse to the church meeting
and voted him down. Rev. j. Erwin
Smith was youthful and handsome, and
the young ladies shed tears of regret
when the church decided not to call
him. But Deacon Grimes said his ser
mons were mere "froth," and he hoped
they wouldn't in his day get down to a
man who parted his hair in the middle.
Rev. Mr.. Loring was too dramatic, and
threatened to convert the Staid old
church into q theater, while good Mr..
t,l- -l1A 4 81,
.lected because he didn't draw" One
candidate was too solemn, another too
frivolous; one too reserved, another too
common"
And so the spring and summer came
and faded away, and fall was fast merg-
ing into winter; and the people were
growing weary of their search, and
Ionged for settled pastor, but he still
eluded them. AS old Mr.. Grove aptly
summed up the situation: "We've had
close to hundred men here to preach
30 us, and we've given 'em fair show,
and there hain't been a perfect man
among 'em."
At length, when expectation was we'll
nigh exhausted. a cheering ray pene-
trated the gloom of their dependency,
and in their minds eve they could see
as their own established pastor the
brilliant young preacher who was hold
ing audiences spell-bound in a Western
city. A delegation was dispatched to
treat with him. He had graciously con-
scented to consider the matter, and the
whole situation was as encouraging as it
well could be. He was to preach for
them on trial the first Sunday in De-
cember, and on the Saturday evening
previous Deacon Gilkey and his wife
were returning from days shopping in
Chicago. Just as the cars were starting,
Mr.. Ames, another pillar in the church,
hurried in, and seeing Mr.. and Mrs.
Gilkey, dropped into the seat behind
them, the other half of which was oc-
cupied by strange gentleman in fur
trimmed overcoat and sealskin cap.
Getting chilly remarked Mr.. Ames
10 Mr.. Gllkey, as an Introduction to con-
versation, meanwhile buttoning up his
oyercoat.
The remark recalled the fact to Mr.
STilkey, and he buttoned up his coat and
replied:
eyes; looks like little Storm
Shouldn't wonder" said Mr.. Ames.
They've had five inches of snow up
North"
els that so? They have pretty tough
winters up there" and Mr.. Gilkey gave
his coat collar another jerk.
Suppose you'll be out to church to-
morrow ?" said Mr.. Ames.
eyes, [ presume So" assented Mr.
GiIkey, and Mrs. Gilkey said, eyes, GER
aainly," with glance at the handbook at
her feet, which suggested the idea that
milliner had made assurance doubly
sure in her case, but, of course, sug-
gested no such thought to Mr. Ames,
who observed: 81 guess people will
turn out pretty generally to hear our
new man."
'They ought to- said Mr. Gilkey,
for he seems to be about our last
chance, and / say we'd better take him
If he suits any kind of way"
Eve might as well shut up the church
IF we don't get someone before long,"
said Mr.. Ames, gloomily. There
wasn't bakers dozen out last Sunday,
and the Halls and McAllisters have
given up their pews. Hall says he
won'g pay pew-rent for the sort Of
preaching we've had lately"
cit needn't make any difference to
him what kind Of preaching we have;
he's never there remarked Mrs. Gill