The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-06-19
TIE LINE KILN CLUB.
The Professor Makes q Few Thrilling
Remarks on "VTllar Was VYe?" Etc.

Remarks on ''Whlr Was WEE" Etc
When the meeting had been duly opened
Brother Gardner announced that Professor
McAfoy johnson, OF Florids. was IN the
ante-room and waiting to dsIiver his cele-
hrated address on wv bar Was We? Whar
Is We? and Whar Shall We Bes or, What's
de Use Of All Dis Fussin'p"
'De professor arrove heah two days ago."
explained the president, ''an' ate mo- pur
vishuns at one meal dan me an de ole
| woman could eat in week has had to
lend him a white shirt, a pair Of socks two
paper collahs an fo'ty cents In money, an
won't conceal de tack from you dat
hope he will leave town right away arter
dis Iecktur In case he shows DISPOSE
ton to Enger trust that Giveadam Jones
will take it upon hissef to see dat he moves
along. While 1 doan' wish to discourage
talent an ambishan among our race,
can't afford TO foot all de expenses out of
my own pocket AS fur de essay, doan
know what it is. We viii give him far
show, an when he retires Brudaer Jones
will retire with him an drop broad hint
dat it is only half mile across &c water to
Canada
THE PROFESSOR.
The professor was then escorted in he
was tai, cadavereEs man, with hollow
voice and sunken eyes, and the first i'm
preston made was that ne could eat meat
and potatoes all day Tong without filling
up. He was received with much applause,
which compliment he acknowledged by
bowling to the right and left, and with
every bow his pants pulled up on his boot
legs full six inches
HE LEADS OFF.
Having arrived at the platform, the pro-
fessor put down two goblets of water, slip
ped troche into his mouth, and, after re-
moving his necktie and collar, he led off
with:
my confdin' friends, whar' was WEI
Jump backwards wild me to de Garden of
Eden, an you find man wanderin' up an
down among de pansies an de hollyhocks.
1t was de beautifulest place you eber saw.
Outside of de flowers an shrubs, dar was
water.nelyons an peaches an grapes an
persimmons till you couldn't rest. All
Adam had to do was to eat wild one hand
an go fshin' wild de odder. He could sleep
ell night an half of de next day. He didn't
hev muffin to buy, no taxes to pay, an
chickens roasted so low down dat he didn't
hev to use no ladder. You hev probably
bin told dat Adam was white man, but
doan' let anybody fool you. l hev looked
into de subjick as close as pusson kin, an
all de Jacks go to show dat he was of our
color. [Great applause
81 hev bin told dat he probably resem-
bled de pusson who now stands befo' you.
Faint applause.l As to dat, it makes no
difference, an | am not de man 10 try an
build myself up at any one else's expense.
OATS whar' we was, my confidin friends
right in dc Garden of Eden, gittin' fat eb-
cry dayan' hevin' de talfest kind OF a time.
We reckoned we have struck a job dat would
last foreber, an we was pulled up accordip'
We felt dat we owned de airth, an nobody
could tech US wild a ten foot pole. ZAP
plause.
My next subject" said the speaker,
after swallowing a large quantity Of water,
lis, 'Whar' Is We?' While we was walkin'
on our high heels about dat garden, feelin'
ourselves de aristocracy Of de airth, long
cum de bounce an we was lifted out wild
out cent in our pockets or a shirt to our
backs. We has clumb to de top limb of de
persin1mon tree to fall kerchunk IAgita-
toni From enjOyin' free board an lodgin's
wild muffin to do but hunt rabbits an go
fshin', we was bounced out to live on grass
an made our beds in de bull rushes More
agitation
We got it bad, an we has bin down on
our luck eber since. OATS why we doan'
push ahead faster. OATS why we am at de
bottom an de white man at de top. He
didn't git no SIGH soft snap to begin wild,
an so he didn't hev muffin 70 lose nor feel
bad about. Whar is we2 We an de under
dog. We am down. We has got TO take
de peelin's. an let de white man hev de
'tsters. [Groans and signs.
"My next subject disqualifies de irnputa-
shun of 'Whar' Shall We Be- While re-
allied the percoIasnan dat we has gained
upon it, de fucher nas an iraputeshus dis
inclinashun. l sometimes feel ike givin'
up de struggle fur iunpeaotrability an SUB
sistin' my endevoEs TO prolonG de esserva-
shun. IYells.J Five centuries hence de
susceptibility may professionally spouse
de evaIiciousncSs, but whar viii we be
DEM In oonsonance vid previous expostu-
lashuns, I feel dat VIZ or<er relinquish de
assidufty of de hemisphere an seek to
evaporate de Authorization which com bats
our solarity.
Gem len, Wild desc few remarks, an
thanlSin' you from De bottom OF my heart
for de Indifference wid which you bsv elm
mated de frissi35ey ct ny salutashan, l hev
do honor TO bid yos1 good night, an 70 add
dat fur de max TO- weeks snail make ny
headquarters CT de cabin Ct B-udaer Gard
neE. whsz' I shall be prepared TO remove
cora snd brnions At de rate ofrventy-hve
cents reroye"
A great storm 81 applause greeted the
speaker SIS he rrtire6--Deezoi5 Free Press