Evening journal., 1890-07-23
sIpEhlAL sIpg-rRAcKINe.
"Rexd The answer IN the stars,
A...1aLl al ~. ..l.naAn11A. aL1.... IS


You'll hnd no chtstnuts there
While all the other papers were en-
gagged in the intricate and intensely in-
teresting study of the local political
situation, tho Every Evening, with that
fine indifference 10 earthly things which
belongs to tho philosopher and the love
sick swain, was gazing at the stars, While
statesmen were resgning positions Of
trust and incidental and come
what precarious emoiument, aud
accepting slight peeunisry tokens,
for favorable votes for both sides Of
question ana proudly and Indignantly
rejecting the smallest one the Every
Evening was sweetly and innocently at
tempting to ascertain an uncertain and
somewhat irrelevant siderial paTallax.
In order to 90 full justice to our o.
tsemsd contemporary we quote the
thrilling and hilariously exciting exor
dium with which its sage comments on
the news OF the day, Of local interest
were usherod upon our impatiently ex :
pectsnt community, thus:
The measurement Of the distance OF q
iixed star is one OF the crowning achieve
ments Of applied mathematics, involv-
Ing exceeding patience and the most
pains taking accuracy in observation, and
elaborate and critical calculation from
the data obtained. Comparatively few
Of the stars have been found 10 yield
any reliable data, because Of their i'm.
mense distance.
In all ages, during periods OF unutter.
able emotions, philosophers, lovers and
dogs, have always appealed TO The
heavens.
The latter usually conhne their attsn-
tion to baying at the moon and whining
pitifully when she returns q steady sill
very simmer whore they perhaps ex
pected shin bone. The lovers gain q
satisfaction from moon-gazing which is as
enchanting 70 them as it is unaccount-
able 70 Others. What the philosophers
and they cannot tell, And the vcrld does
not compyehend when they try 70 tell.
We have always had the creates
I respect for Venus and the highest cenf
dence In Orion, but they have never ap
! pealed to eur sense Of duty so fsrventl.
Q as to make us forget the City Council
and the Court House Park. The asss
ciates Of these distinguished members 0
she heavenly armament have never don
Z anything to warrant our criticisms OK
: cept the sun, who Of late has been max
y ing himself somewhat offensive, thsaR
7 we have said little or nothing agsini
. his hot rays for fear Of libel suit. Son
OF the comets have been reported to I
I, wild and erratic in their behavior, bl
= we have never felt it relevant
= chronicle their escapades 20 the excl
!. sion of the pleasant and agreeable ia,
= Of commenting upon the statesman
pulchritude Of our local politicians.
OF course we are deeply interested
~ ascertaining the precise distance
~ Alpha Centauri from the earth, ,measur
ns BY solar units of $4,000, coo mil,
=, ~ and the civilized world will h,
'ln it's bresth till the exact numl
"a Of those little units shall have been I
'en termined, bat we submit that this CO..
mnnity is far more interested, lust nc
in BIZ Quinn's remarks on the situat
in Harry Turner's comments on {
I've Councilmanic statesmen and on the DR.
e's able political hegira of Mike Sharkey
sn' confessor Besle.