Telegram-herald., 1890-03-06


found is way 70 the TEIEGRAN-HERALp
oIhoe:
GKAND RAPIDS. March ], 1890.
Ioths Eaiter q JhS 1KLzsEA&- nEkAlD-
DEAR SIK--lB reading a Chicago
paper TIE other day, niy eyes fell upon
thls advertisement. "fhe Peoples -
State-st.. near Harris0n-Ke Reserved seats
IS and 50 cents. Mr. Mckee kaDkin
and Mss Mabel Bert, Ia The Runaway
Mfe.'"
Now. tins IS one Of the cheapest
theaters Id ChicagO. Nr. Rankin plays
there for Just hall What he viii charge
AT Powers Opera House IA Grand Rapids
next week. Yet IA Chicago he consents
u play IN a theateT whsch plays many
OF the same shows that vlsit Redmond
during the season. fhis = hardly Il
talr dtal 10 charge a dollar here. Why
/ don't you str them ups
TRAvELNG MAN.
/ It IS not the mission OF a newspaper
70 tell other people how 10 run their
business. This paper has no right 10
| dictate To Manager Goth a. a.. shall
/ charge tor entertainments any more
I than Manager CObb would be allowed
or tolerated 10 dictate 70 the manage
ment OF this paper. The question of
patronizing the different entertainments
at tie prices charged for them in the
tneAters of Grand Rapids, is one
F, theater-gOers must decide for them
selves.
There is in this city landlord Of
Immense proportions, physically aud
financially, who owns lie bit of
realty on Monroe-st. A. be plays the
part of landlord the rol is beset with
many annoyances and tribulaiions.
This unfortunate state Of affairs may
possibly be due 10 the reason that ms
conception of has duties IL 100 broad
| and that he regards the privileges and
rights OF tenants IN too small meas
ure. A few weeks since he got into a
misunderstanding with lady tenant.
For the time being the articles of the
lease were ignored and the conflict as
sumed such a shape that an effort was
made 10 Gust the lady and her mer-
chandlse into the street. Tie lady
fest 10 her, her Just rights.
finally reached the courts, where the
lady's position was sustained, and she
still continues To do business at the Old
stand. The Immense capitalist does
not give up the struggle, and II is said
he is seeking to feed fat his grudge by
the institution Of suits and cross-suits
to the number Of seven. Nothing will
allay his feverish irritation bat revenge,
an he proposes to have the band play
ing all the while, and a monkey-and-
parrot time in general. Meanwhile the
sober, sensible old fellows, vino trot
horses with him and do him up playing
hearts at the club, are silently looking
on and laughing inwardly at the fun.
1t is seldom that you hear of y. c.
Johnson. ne who with Napoleonic for
titude assumes the burden of keeping
Sweets Hotel open from day TO day,
getting worsted in an argument or of
being the object Of a successful practical
joke. His wonderful mathematical
genus has enabled him to make esti-
mates and propositions, backed up with
the long green, that would stun ordln-
ary men at the bare utterance of them.
He has posed as a sort of a mechanical
Gibraltar. Without a moments warn
ing he can gauge the ingredients OF
rock and rye to a nicetN tell just how
many Jumps of sugar IS used by hls
guests III day or calculate the weight
of the texture of an Angels wing. BY
some mysterious means which he viii
not give up, he is in communicative
with all parts o. the world
-
birth and deaths in Egypt or Hindoo
stan, at the mere asking. You car
drive him blind-folded from Sweets
say for instance, to the road-hOuse on
: South Division-st. and he will tell you
within three of just how many steps the
horse was required 10 make during th,
journey. A man possessed of suct
marvellous attributes is as n rule
classed among the "invincbles. -
Harry Hubbard done hIm up the othel
0 day. Harry heats his store on Canal
n ST., with steam which is furnished from
the boiler in Sweets Hotel. week OF
0 So ago there was a jolly crowd gathered
q at Harry's, and they espied johnson
with victim, standing in front of TIM
Western Union Telegraph Office. Harr,
. readily thought of scheme 10 brn.
n the victims suiferngs To an end, anC
at the same time put JohnsOn's mathe
U matlcal talent to severe test. Hub
q bard turned the steam off IN his plac.
and then invited johnson 10 come IN
o The crowd assumed a sober and puzzle,
n look.
whats the matter with you fel
y lows?' inquired Sir Bonitace as h
- strutted IN with a Falstaffian swagger
o "Oh," replied Hubbard, "Mr. John
y son, we have got into a little dIsput
- here among ourselves and thought "
% would ask you 70 decide for Us. "
have been trying TO determine howmucl
N steam passes through that pipe mp ther
IN given length OF time-say five MN
y utes. Now, the large pipe, which Is d
n rectlv connected with the boiler, is nv
inches in diameter Could You est
y mate the quantity Of steam that passe
n through lt'
AS Harry flattered him, Norm's ba
% window became inflated to such a Dc
II gree as TO make a soparaton betwee
his brocaded vest and bone buttons pei
jlouslv imminent. II adjusted hi
= glas Is. and his hrow was implied wit
e wisdom wrinkles.
. What would be selling You sfesr
.s for If | could not guess that What
the matter with you fellows? Haven
81 YOU got any lrans' Why, ! car { !
~ tho amount Of steam IN that pipe 3
the sound. Bv Cad. my 30 ieT 8O8l