The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-10-04

InHSnaJe, DuC VINO were you eXpecClngg
Many a happy thought dashed of by
some living author is merely some old Joke
dressed out in modern habiliments. OF this
kind is the witty remark of Heine to lady
In describing his schoolboy wrestlingS with
dead language. Latin, madam" he said,
''you have no idea Of what a mess it is.
The Romans would never have found time
to conquer the world if they had been
obliged 20 learn Latin. Lucky dogs! They
already knew in their cradles all The nouns
ending in i'm" The same thing may be
found in letter from Won Hutton TO
Erasmus of date priority nearly 300 years.
In like manner many of the best things
said by Douglas Jerrold and Sydney Smith
were borrowed from the Latin, and some of
Coleddge's finest epigrams are mere trans
lations from the Greek. Probably the most
celebrated of them is that which records the
DEVILS dealings with job
To try Jobs constancy and patience
He took his honors, took his health;
He took his children, took his wealth,
His camels, horses asses COWS,
Still the sly devil did not take his spouse.
But heaven, that brings out good from evil,
And loves to disappoint the devil,
Had predetermined TO restore
Two-fold Of all Job had before
His children, ca nels, asses, COWS
Short-sighted devil not 20 take his spouse.
sermons Of John Donne (vol Ill o. 332,
who died in 1891, and the humorous germ
was borrowed by Donne from st. Angus
tine, IN whose works is enough genuine wit
and humor to serve as stock In trade for
half dozen modern humorists.
But all the good things in literature are
not Dor rowed, for wit, like genius, is peren.
NAL, and flashes forth In all countries and
all ages. However, l think it is more apt
to be original when it springs up among an
unlettered people than when it is the pro-
duct of a more cultivated SOIL OF this
description is the old darkY preachers
account of the origin of the chivalry.
'Doan't you know whar dey come from,
NASSAU he is reported to have said. "Wen,
den I'll atole you. You sees it was dis
away All de fuss folks, Adam an Eve,
an Cain an Abel, an Genesis an Deuter-
onomy, an all dem ole fellows, was brack;
but Cain he kill his brudder wild a big
club, his walkin' stick, an de Lord
he kim down ter see bout it. an
he say ter Cain: Cain, whar am
dy rudder? Den Cain he stick out his
cheek an he say, I doesa't know, what's We
axin' me furP Dat makes de Lord wroff,
an he stomp on der ground an he say, You
Cain! you brack Cam! I say, where am
dy brudderP Now de way de Lord say dat
brighten Cain, an he turn white in de face
dat was de mark de Lord sot on him-an'
de hull race of Cain habe been white eber
sense. Den Cain he got out an he settle 10
de land of Nod, and from dar he move inter
Souf Car lima, an OATS whar all de shIvurly
comes from" 1t was perhaps this old
clergyman who, being asked by a gentle
man what he got for his preaching, ans
wered, ''Nothiil'" "Weu," said the gen.
tleman, ''that's ID poor pay" "Yas,
massa," was the answer, IAN its ID
pore preach. too"
ia ..,.kL L.
poor white" legend of how Jonah dis
covered America, which was in manner
following, to wit: "Arter Jonah was a
hove overheard and gObbied up by the
whale, ne at fust didn't know what ter
make NV things. He felt mighty Uneasy,
but tibet didn't do nary good, so arter
awhile he settled himself down in a soft
spot and begun to look over the situation.
1t war pesky dark. and the air war closer
nor the hold Nv airy smack on Neuse river.
So Jonah out with his hacker pouch, Lit q
pipe and went ter smokin' like time. He
smoked and smoked and fore long the
whale he begun TO feel ruighty commotion
in his innards. Ye see, not being used ter
hacker. he got seasick. 1t wouldn't be per-
lite to tell how he retched and retched and
retched. but he done it, and finarly he
retched Jonah right up onter the coast of
North Carolina, and that's the how he dis
civered this country"
These scripture subjects suggest an au-
ecdote that is told of an American clergy
man, who, in one of his sermons, severely
criticised the Swedenborgian heaven, its
green fields, fine horses and cattle, and
beautiful women In the midst of this
glowing haraugue one of the sisters went
into raptures and shouted: ''Glory! glory
gloryw This so disconcerted the preacher
that he stopped short in his address, when
an elder called out to the enraptured female:
Hold on there sister. You're are shouting
over the wrong heaven"
None of our America an wit lacks pungency.
and some of our humor is not excelled by
any in the English language. But humor
caunot be quoted. 1t must bs taken with
its connections. With wit, however, it is
different. and with few specimens of what
appear to be genuine and favored with the
soil will close this paper American wit
Is largely hyperbolical, and "tall' species
came into vogue a few years ago. 1t told
of a man who was so short that he had to
climb ladder to shave himself; of another
so strong that simply his sneeze had killed a
man on the opposite side of the Mississippi
river; of pig so lean that knot had to be
tied 10 its tail to prevent its getting through
the chinks in the fence; of a squash
vine which grew SO rapidly that it
overlook a drove of swine, and of an
artist who painted a snowstorm 50 nat
urally That he TOOK bad cold from sitting
near to it with his coat off. The reason for
the exorbitant price of cream in certain
town was that milk has rise so high that
the cream couldn't reach the top" A jockey
once drove so fast that the mile stones went
by so quickly that the gentleman with him
thought they had been standing still in a
graveyard" A western man, having been
blown up on an OHIO river steamboat, said
that he got SO used to being blown up by his
wife that mere steamboat explosion had
no effect on him. Another victim of a
steamboat explosion was a witness i'll case
to determine the exact time of the death of
another victim. what was the last time
you saw hims" asked the lawyer, to which
the witness said: 1.-THE very last time
ever set eyes on HIM was when the bier had
burst, and 1 was going up. ! met him and
the sinokestack coming down together
Another species of American wit leaves
something to be understood which is incon-
gruous. For instance: "a man in New
Hampshire ate the other day fifteen dozen
raw oysters. The silver trimmings on his
coffin cost sl2 So" John Smith. in Ne
braska, said he could handle a rattlesnake
as well as a snake charner. The meanness
of the undertaken in demanding pay in ed-
vance delayed the funeral four days" Few
men would attempt to dry gunpowder on a
hot stove. A man in Indiana Did, and his
afflicted family will be thankful iJr any in
formation as to his whereaoouts. "a
i'll earxr a I.