Tombstone epitaph., 1890-04-26
DRINKS OF ALL NATIONS.
THE EASILY GOVERNED NATIONs
 DRINK NO STRONG LIQUORS


 Curious Observations of the Man WhS
 Went Around the Wo Id on Il Bicy yclc,
 Guzz,ing izabi:s of the Aggressive Ma.
 tioms.
 Taken all in all, perhaps the English residents ill India spend more money f0I drink than any other people in the world. Plenty of people are, of course, ready to condemn this sort of thing, and say the Anglo Indians ought to qucnch their thirst with non-iltoXicants. More lemonade and less brandy and champage, it is claimed, would materially lessen the rate of mor- tality from enlarged spleen, the bane of Angl0-IndiGn life. This may be stricly true, hut the fact remains that q mere handful of hard drinking Gritons gre ad. ministering the affairs of G00, GOO, eco prac. tically noHdriniing people
 Some of the natives of India consume more or less Hrrack and palm toddy, but the Brahmins, the genilcst and easiest governed people ill the world drink noth. ing stronger than water. The only tribe of people in India who drink to excess are the Zats of the Pnnjab. The festive Jat gets drunk on arrack, and indulges in manly sports like civilized being. On the field of battle he is equal to a round dozen nOn-drinking Hindoos, and forms today the flower of the native Erftish-In- dian army. He it was that stood firmly by the EngliGh during the mutiny, and performed prodigies of valor scarcely second to Tommy Atkins himseh. He calls tho water drinking natives Of Dude and Bengal ''FOorEeGhs," " and is superior to them in every manly attribute.
 In Mohammedan countries very little alcohol is consumed in proportion to the number of people. The Koran denies the seductive pleasures of it's material para di: e to Alussulmans who indulge in lha flowing bowl of Bacchus here below. The Shahs are considered the Catholics of the MohammeClan religion. The whole Per sian nation belong to the -Shiah faith. Its 10000, 900 of people are governed with the sane ease as the same number of sheen might be by q few officials who care noth- ing fer their welfare except to squeeze them like an orange whenever they feel like it. Tue 10,O00,000 never touch any. thing intoxicating from one years end tJ another The governing few consume raw, fiery arrack by the pint daily in wanton d,-reg" of the Koran and it's teachings. The '.llage khan and subordinate govcr- nor of q province keeps by him a stock of arrack and drinks from half pint 10 a pint with his midday meal to stimulate his appetite and make himself feel booZv while eating, and is frequently put to led limr as dishrag by his retainers at night.
 The Japs are the most eIrnuraging eX- amplcs thGt the east presents of ;l nation progressing from Asiatir to an European plane of civilization. They bid fair ere many years to be more European in their habits than the majority of Europeans themselves. One wouldn't care to assert that he vast quantity of sake consumed their superiority in this particular over all other Asiatics. l am merely pointing out facts, leaving the reader to draw his or her Own conclusions therefrom.
 No nation ill Asia drinks so consistently and steadily g do the Japanese The average Jap consumes about half a pint Of sake or rice beer with each meal-a pint and half per day-saying nothing about further social indulgence ill the evening. Both men and women drink sake by the pint daily, and think no harm of it, either. At meal times the sake is served up in slender, big necked earthcn- ware bottles, holding about pint. The favorite way is to drink it warm It is usually warmed by setting the bottle in boiling water for while before putting it on the taLle. Rice beer is rather de- ceptive name to give sake, as it resembles liquor more than beer, both in color, con- sis ,ency and intoxicating property In {, , consumption of alcohol the Japs, as Q ttiOn, rank way ahead of any other .siatic country. In addition to sake, hey are also rapidly coming to the fore as consumers of beer and brandy and whisky. Their consumption of these beverages keeps curiously even pace with their progression toward what we are pleased to consider our own higher plane of civilization. When they first be- gan to think of wearing European clothes they cOntented themselves with import ing French brandy and English and Mill waukee beer. Now, however, the gov ernment compals all it's officials to adopt European clothes, and the upper crust so- ciety at Tollio are far from being alone in Europcanizing their habits and costumes. Consequently the Japs have commenced brewing their own beer and making q very good imitation of French brandy.
 The Chinese as nation consume very little intoxicating drink, although they make beverage from rice called ''torri" almost the counterpart of the sake of Japan. Whenever there has been war between the two nations the Japs have in- Nari&Lly wallored John Chinamrn almost HS thoroughly as the arrack drinking Jats uf the Punjab were wont to make things vdrm for the total atstairiug Nindoos n '.'G, and before.
 The Turks are a nation that drink next ID nothing of q stimulating character, un- rySs tiny cups of strong black coffee may ta so considered. As Mohammelans they are less sanctimonious but more consistent than the Pcrsians. The Osnanli official sometimes iudulges in mast:c, but if Ee 'IoCs, llc consumes il in the guisc of rletli- :!nr, t..c prohibitivc voice of the Nor; n aat including alcohol used as medicine. The Turks arc brave and warlikc, and if, when their star of empire was in the asccnd;;ucy and their crescent banner Goated over half Europe. they had for sal.Cn the rrohibitive tencts of thc Koran and went into brewing and drinking beer and whisky, who knows but that they might bc occupying Moscow today instead uf Icing bulldoZed by the Russians?
 The Russians are nation of hard nrlnkcrS. Vodka is consumed by the Mr,+ covite peasantry in vast quantities. Th" mouj.li's idea of holiday is to get ski. full Uf vodka, and then lay down utd hang On to the ground. This laudahIe performance is gone through with by tie liussiGn peasant as often ns he can rro- cure the necessary quantity of vodka. He has q saints day to keep almost thrce hundred and siXty-flve times q year, GEd the only thing that prevents him from