Morning journal and courier., 1890-08-13
CAUSES.

The Cause of It,-Fangle-There is a
great deal of scratching at the. polls now.
Cumso-Yes; it comes from the itch for
office.-Epoch.
Jigglets-That was certainly finished
sermon that Mr.. Woundup gave us this
morning. Blubbs-Yes, it was, but l
thought it never would be.-Boston Times
Argument Saved. d.-Weeks-How does
this weather agree with you, Wentman.
Wentman-It doesn't. / find it cheaper
to agree with the weather.-American
Grocer.
Tramp latter eating piece of pie|-Have
YOU any more, ma'aml Lady of house
Why, certainly, sir; you'll find it in the
shed. How kind in you to offer to NOW
my lawn.-Toronto Empire.
Train robber (boarding parlor car. west
ern expressE"Quick, now, if yer knows
wot's best for yer. Get yer valybles
ready" Mr.. Hayseed-'tLand sakes!
Marier, here comes the porter. Good
News.
''The count of Paris is coming to this
country "Well, 1 hope he'll be esti-
mated at his proper worth" said the Chi
cago man. ''The count of Chicago was
very badly managed. New York Herald.
Glad for the Fall-'.Pm glad that the
| mother of mankind ate that APPLE" said a
pretty young lady the other day as she
stood before the mirror. "You are!'
| eyes; because there is such delight in try
ing on a new dress when it fits WE'LL
Boston Courier.
Cool Summer Observation-Disclosures
me going to Mount Fashion another sum
mer. Minks-Hot therea Winks-No
| Cold enough for blankets every night
Minks-Then what was the matter with it
| Winks-They didn't have the blankets
New York Weekly.
Tailor-I really do hope You will settl'
this little account to-day, sir, have
heavy bill to pay my cloth merchant
Captain (calmlye yeConfound your impu
dence! You go and contract debts ant
come dunning me to pay them. Get out
or I'll send for the police.-Harper's Ba
| zar.
'sWhy do they call these blackberriesi
asked the small boy of the grocer. "Be
cause they are black, " was the prompt re
ply. "Then why do they call these othe
black ones raspberriesl" Because
You move on! What are you hangin,
around here for, anyhowf'-Detroit Fre
Press.
Protection Wanted Tramp-Ps
been begging ever since daylight, and rs
only got nine cents. What's de matte
wild the peoplea Second Tramp-De troo
is, Gully, these here foreign beggers com
over here and ruin de bizness. What W
need is proteckshun.-Texa Siftings.
O'Dowd-But, bedad, the days at hand
O'Brine, whin there'n be no tinants il
ould Oireland O'Brien-An' whin'
thats O'Dowd-Whin the landlords that
there is all abshentees. sn' whin the tin
ants is all landlords. O'Brien-Arrah
but there1l still be wan tihant lifi
O'Dowd. O'Dowd-An' who'll he be
lG'Brien-The Lord ift-tinant.-Harper'
Bazaar.
Two country lads who dwelt beside a pond,
Sighed for Aladdin's lamp or fairy wand,
| Or some magician's power, by aid of which
They might at once be fabulously rich.
Last winter when the weather was so warm,
And every freeze was followed by storm,
The wished-for fairy showed them somethin
Could probably be made next year in ice.
' Straightway they built two shanties on the shol
| And laid away the glittering blocks galore,
Which In the last two weeks they've freely sol
Each crystal block for twice its weight In gold.
At Saratoga now they both are seen,
Q Friskly gambling on the club-hous ''green,"
or loliing lazily In piazza chairs
|. At Congress Hail. among the millionaires
Lowell Courier.