The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1890-09-07
THE LIARS ROUNDUP.

Here's a Collection that Would Make An
anias Turn Pale.
The summer is sometimes very dry down
south. It was SO dry in 81 that those who
were On board a steamer which was going
down the river Potomac couldn't see the
banks for the clouds of dust raised by the
steamers wheels.
Several winters ago, it is said, COW
aoated down the Mississippi on piece of
ice, and became 80 cold that she has MIXED
nothing but ice cream ever since.
It was so cold one winter in the vicinity
of the Rocky mountains that the people
we're obliged to milk the COWS with cork
screws; and in the same winter the flames
of the candles were often found frozen, and
had to be broken off in order to extinguish
them.
Sometimes very heavy gales are exper-
fenced out west. Lately the wind was SO
high that the crows were obliged to walk
home. white dog, while attempting to
turn the corner of a street in Kalamazoo
was caught with his mouth open, and
turned completely inside out. A horse ran
SO fast that it's shadow couldn't keep up
with it.
There are two twin sisters who are 80
much alike that each of them occasionally
mistakes the other for herself. There is q
Philadelphia SO thin that it takes two
pairs of eyes to see him.
Fish are very plentiful IN some of our
rivers. So thick were they packed in the
Columbia river in the autumn of '83 that
one could easily walk across the river on
the backs of the fishes. The inhabitants
along the banks lifted them out in bucket
fuls, and when boat WAS pushed into the
i xunc lev Id hrvk Gel, 81,
leaped in, apparently eager to be caught.
The tsh are not only numerous. but ex-
ceedlngly intelligent, as the following Incl
dent proves.
A traveller in giving an account of DAVIS
sport among them, tells how a six-pound
bass engaged his attention for two hours,
and how, having carelessly allowed the line
to become slack, the bass, who had evil
IDENTIFY been watching for an opportunity
gave the line two or three bitches around a
submerged stump, and then coolly, at his
leisure, sawed the line until it broke above
its point OF contact with the stump. when.
unhitchlng himself, he swan off. wapoinc
his tail IN triumph.
Gen. McCook relates the following story.
which was told to him by his guide on the
Rocky mountains: "One time Kansas Jim
ana me had been trampin' three days and
nights when we came to a great plain, and
right IN the middle of it was a forest. ali
turned to stoner' The general smiled. and
remarked: 81 have heard of petrified trees
before. Bill" The guide expectorated, and
without changing countenance. continued:
II saw q bird perched on tree singing
Justify. Suddenly the bird was changed to
stone: The song she was singin' was also
petrified, and hung down from the beak of
the bird-cold, cold stone. But that varn't
all, glneral. thar was a buffalo ON that
plain. and he war petrified on the clean
jump. and his hoofs had kicked up a
bit of sod, and I'm blamed if that warn't
petrified in the air.' The general turned
an amused countenance ON the narrator.
and said: "Why, Bill, the sod would have
fallen to the ground by the force of Rrav-
ity." Without any hesitation, Bill an
swered: well, by gum, general. the gray
ity was petrified too.'
A man was 80 swift that in running
round a tree he caught sight of his own
back. Another was SO vigorous that he
never sneezed butCiaa- threw a somersault.
The hearing of another w&S4o good shat he