The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-11-24
BRIGHT BITS.

WE OFTEN hear of the patriots of &C. but old
Thurman is a patriot of philadelphia
Times.
TIE edition de lure of the Thanksgiving pie
will be given tin plate setting. Philadelphia
Record
ISN'T it strange that the better man gets on
in this world the better he is off.-Yonkers
Statesman.
IT TAKES very little to make a woman happy;
it takes much less to make her miserable
AtchiSon Globe.
The So on the end Of politics doesn't prevent
it from being. very singular inst tuition
WASHINGTON Post.
THE days are short now because there is not
as much time in them as there was, and time is
money.-Delht Express.
HAS your wife gone, shopping?"
I'm afraid not I'm afraid she's gone
buying. n-hdrper's Bdzdr.
ToXMY-Paw what is pig lead9
Mr.. F4gg-1here is no pig led. He has 10
be tolled, -ItdiaadDolis Journal.
GILBERT AND SULLIVAN have become recon
cled, and if they will only write their quarrel
into comic opera it is sure to make a hit-PhH
Gdel0htG Press.
WHEN the average man says frankly: Il can't
afford II, you VIII usually hnd on Investigation
that it is something his wife wants, aad not
something that he wants himself.-SonlerUiHe
Journal
WILLIE (wlo has eaten his applel-Mabel, let's
play Adam and Eve. You be Eve ami III be
Adam.
Mabel-Al right. Well?
Wlie-Now you tempt me to eat your apple,
ana Il succumb.-The BostoniGH.
FIRST MERCHANT read that q company has
been organized to manufacture clothing from
paper.
Second ditto-From the paper l have ac-
cepted from you they would be able to make
clothing to supply the community for a year.
Mems OUtftter.
"AH," said the church reformer sadly, 81
never see church fair like this without think
ing OF the money changers in the temple"
II don't see the resemblance" replied the
young man. with, equal sadness. There's no
money changing here. Whatever you give 'em
they keep. "-Terds STtirgs.
The FRIENDS of many of Warwicks most
highly respected citizens were iuexpreSsibly
shocked when, in this weak's Warwick DIS
patch, they saw their names appended to call
for public meeting to be held in that village
for the purpose of organizing burglar and
horse thief association y 1t must be, they
thought, that it was intended to organize an
ass citation for the detection, arrest and con
viction of burglars and horse thieves, but there
was not a word about arrest or detection in the
call.-Mtddtetolon Argus.
A WOMAN entered d grocery on Michigan
avenue one day last week in something of
| hurry and said to the proprietor Il want
glass fruit jar holding quart, and you may
put half pound of gunpowder into 1t.
''Yesm; new way TO do up late peaches?'
mo, sir; It's a way to do up dog"
"How:'
My boy Willie has got a dog under our
barn and he won't come out. Willie is going to
| blow him up"
Great Scott, ma'am, but if you explode this
powder under the barn you'll set the building
| on fre!'
Would it, really?'
| ''Of course it would"
Willie will be terribly disappointed"
But yOu'll saw the barn.
well" she said. as she picked up her money.
I'm have to change my plans. I'll buy him an
augur and let him bore holes in the floor and
pour hot water down on the dog."-Detroit
| Free Press. ~