Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-10-03
PITII AND POINT.

Taking things casy-Pickpockcts.
Half loaf is better than the dyspep-
STA.
"shadows of great city"-Detec-
tives.
"You make me tired" said the wagon
wheel to the blacksmith.
"Coniidcncc is u plant of slow growth"
but the buuco-man forces it.-PUci.
Necessity is the mother of invention;
and likewise the father of lics.-Puck
There is probably sand enough in the
Sugar Trust to Keep it up.-Iiieoyure.
"That's the end of my tale" as tho
tadpolc said when he turned into Il bull
frog.
"lVc say mouse, and We say mice.
Now, why isn't the plural of spouse
spice" Mercury.
No matter how plain-lo looking drug
clerk may he, in warm weather his liz is
always attractive to the girls.
The mau who depends upon wages will
get rich sooner than one who depends
upon wagcrs.-Me,o Yor1 Ne,cs.
The cut has nine lives, which shows
that%Ntu had a pretty fair idea OF what
the cat 'would have to go through.
The gentleman who owns dog would
probably feel rather hurt if told that he
was bark keeper Washington Star.
"All gone, murmurcd Ponsouby, sad
:ly rs he surveyed his hnd head in the
mirror. "Not even part remains. -
Life.
Coming events cast their shadows be-
fore; but that is no renson for thinking
that the future always looks dark
Puck.
A will 5000 years old was recently
found in Egypt. Up to the hour of going
to press it had not been contested. Mop
risto'cn Heruid.
The 800, 900 expended by the Duke of
Bedford to popularize cremation may be
considered sort of burnt Offering
C0urier-Jouraol
'Do your boardcrs loaf around your
parlor i'll the cvening2' "No; my
daughter is learning to play on the piano"
-BoSton Courier.
Professor Of NIiperalogy Cat the cxami-
natlom -"Whcrc are the most diamonds
found!" Candidate-"At the pawnbrok-
ers. "-!Soattgs-P Post.
Softas-''Do you think Miss r. would
marry me if L should ask herr" Van Ripper
.-'Well, she looks like Il smart sort OF a
girl-stili, she might. Life
The Pessimist cries: Come. begay,
Things can't be worse-away WITH sorrow. 81
The Optimist: Rejoice to-day,
Because of what will be tomorrow
a - Puck.
@ 'tDoSs your Webster contain all the
latest additions to the English language?"
"No, old fellow, 1 will ask my wife. She
always has the last word ~ Times Demo-
.crat.
She'll hear that Mr.. Smoothborc is
a great mimic. They say he can take off
anything" He-''Chat explains it. 1
wondered where my umbrella mad gone. 4"
-Ciothier aad Furnisher.
Cobwigger-"Quack should be prose-
cutcd for obtaining money under false
pretenses. That nostrum of his is no
good" Brown-s'Pshaw Didn't he
sell it TO you as a skin cure?"-Lie.
man may fish and fish and fish,
And not get bite all day;
But he'll buy mess and lie like sin,
Because he is built that way
Washington star.
"Shall we marry, darling; or shall we
E knot?" was the short and witty line an
ardent lover dispatched to the idol of
his heart. But, where the strangeness
OF the matter comes ill, the girl replied:
81 shall not! You can do rs you please"
Life.
Tailor measuring little Blobbs)-
t'Very singular, this, SIR" Blobbs-
"What's that?" Tailor-"All YOUR
measurements are exactly the same as
the Apollo Belvidere statue" Diobbs
orders two suits instead of one. 1.-THE