Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-07-16
Telegraphic Blunders.

1t isn't meant to be charged that
the majority of kilograms or specials
have mistakes in them. The percent
age of errors is infnitesimally small,
but the errors that are made are funny
and soon get talked around among
the boys.
"Cog at once, Big Bill tonight"
was message delievered to a lady
visiting in Kansas, from her husband
in neighboring city of the same
State. The awful suspicion flashed
upon her mind that the Liquor law
was being fiagrantly violated in the
immediate vicinity of her husband.
But who was "Big Bill9" Was he
some outlaw? What was the
significance of "cog" any way? AS
the last question occurred to her she
sought and consulted the pocket
edition of "a dictionary. The definition
of "cog" was terrible revelation.
1t read
Cog. The tooth of a wheel a
trick to wheedle to cheat"
She nearly tainted with fright.
Her husband was undoubtedly in the
toils-in the very teeth of this villain,
"Big Bill" Her nervous prostration
was 80 complete that she could barely
communicate the particulars to male
relatives, who were started on the
first train to the rescue of her husband.
Remember the clew," she said when
they departed. "If there has been
foul play, remember Big Bill" The
relatives returned next day with the
husband and the lucid explanation that
the original message written by him
read "Come at once. Big ball to-
night"
A gentleman who was not long
since stopping at one Of the principal
hotels in this city, dividing his time
between attending to business which
necessitated his presence in St. Louis
and bewailing the cruel fate which
had temporarily separated him from
his young wife of two months stand
ing, recalls the hours of anguish and
uncertainty which ensued upon the
receipt of a message from his wife,
reading:
81 have twins. Written you but
received no reply. What is the mat
teri"
Since he has ascertained that she
had "twice written" ETC., he will re-
gard every yellow envelope with sus-
picion.
Just imagine, if you can, the feel
ings of a rather high.fown newspaper
correspondent who, after telegraphing
to his newspaper a description of
condemned wife-murderers last
night on earth, read in the paper when
he received it that
"He tossed re, tlessly about, and
from his mutterings il was apparent
to all that the shirt of his wife hung
over him."
This came from the telegraph
Office and passed in some incompre-
hensible way perhaps spirits" were
at fault with the telegraph editor,
composition and proof.reader success
lively. But it is not likely any one
has been more disgusted with the un.
certainties of dots and dashes than
young St. Louis telegrapher who had
never visited Chicago, who after read
ing the name of the famous hostlery
of that city conducted by Potter Pal
mer as the pat Moore House," has
since been known by his telegraphic
as Pat" to the utter
exclusion of his more euphonious pat
Eugene.
At small office in the interior of
this State the whole available force Of
hunted half day for
man named E. G.. Lipse before it
lawned upon the brilliant mind of
The operator that it was intended for ,
he Eclipse newspaper Office. In a
ike manner Sale Mills was omitted
from the postal guide, but Salem ILL.,,
was there, and that place has also an
pfuriated man waiting for long.de.
ayed answer to his telegram.-San.
Francisco Examiner.