The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1890-10-16
WIT AND HUMOR.
Lo! the poor Indian, whose untutored mind
Made him shave his whiskers on to disappoins
the wind.

Chatter.
OF all sad words of tongue or pen.
The saddest are those she utters when
You've tried to kiss and trying. missed her
And she says. go practice on your sister.
What was Noah's wife's name?"
Joan. wasn't i'm J. Sun.
Troubles sometimes come singly.
after all; all children are not twins
Atchtso,, Globe.
How to catch fish is study. How
to lie about it comes natural.-NeW Or
leans Picayune.
The number IS is not so unlucky if
you put a mark like this before it:
g. Washington Post.
How high are the White Noun
tains?' They vary. From IS to $15
a dav."-N. Y. Herald.
20. 1 wish I'd been a man." cried
Mrs. Bjonson. II wish to Heaven you
hadr' retorted Mr.. Bjonson. = The
Epoch.
Atlas carried the world on his back
and not in front of him as it is carried
by great men of the present day.-Ddt-
las (Ier.) Ne,cs.
Little Turtle owned Chicago in 1890,
but he had so little snap to him that
the place did not grow much while he
was proprietor. -Courier-Journal.
THAT man made money just by
his sand" WHAT" Yes. He's a
brickmaker."-St. Joseph (!Mo.) Nesos.
A man never, seldom ever, knows
how to use his own ideas quite as well
as the ideas he has picked up.-Ddllas
(Ter.) Nescs.
A woman can disguise her wrinkles.
debts, and receptions from man, but
she can never hide them from another
Atchison (Kas.) Globe.
The interesting question IN some cir
Giles is: How can the depositor retain
his equilibrium when the cashier has
lit out with his Observation-Disclosures
Press.
Don't be hurt at what you think is a
lack of sympathy. The spot on your
nose that looks so big to you is hardly
visible to any one else.-Terre Hdute
Express.
Editor-"Your poem contains some
sparkling gems" Idyl proudly
''Indeedr' Editor-.'Yes. you should
have seen them flash when the flame
caught them. "-Ihe Epoch.
A Louisville pie factory is about to
be established in Washington. There
will be no nine months session of Con.
gress after this factory gets in opera.
tion.-AtLanta Constitution.
Talking Shop-Mrs. Snodgrass-"l
think Mrs. Laker must be from Chi
cago." Mrs. Snively-"Why?" Mrs
Snodgrass = Because she saws o.
lardr so often" Vest Shore.
David Crockett is to have monu-
ment down in Tennessee. This is 8
reward for Davy's good fortune and
foresight in not being buried in New
York City.-Pittstatrg Dispatch.
1t is simple enough to be a great
man; keep your mouth shut and wher
you see dollar grab Atchisok
Globe. Grab it any way and explain
to your constituency later.-NeuU Or.
leans Picayuae.
1--WE sent our young boy to college.
writes German editor. land after
three years hard study he didn't know
how to hitch a mule to a wagon anC
couldn't run straight furrow to save
his life. What are these colleges goot
for anyhow"
The discovery of America in 149:
was a great event, wasn't it pap" re
marked Congressman's son. Yes
but it doesn't amount to anything a
oil nI 10 hat ,f har
politicians are going to discover il
1892. y Washington Post.
The Senate has put sponges on thu
free list. This is like carrying Goals
to Newcastle. No man ever yet spen
an evening with sponge who doe,
not know that these persons are anC
ALWAYS have been on the free lst.-N
T. Commercial advertiser.
Einstein = ''Didt you hear apout
Cohen? Ven Repecca Sonneshein
wouldn't marry him. he vent andt took
kvarters wort of morphine. Va,
fools some men are" Minzberger-
Wasn't he. though? Ten cents wort
would hat done der pisness chust as
veil. "-1erre Haute Cypress.
Bernard Conn, a New Hampshire
farmers man. was scared almost into
commissions while listening to a phono-
graph in Dover, and explained, when
he came to, that he recognized the
voice of man he had stuck in a boss
trade. Conn, science makes towards
of us all.-Philadelphia Ledger.
A recent issue of weekly paper
published at Colmisneil. Tex. appeared
in rather ragged shape. and the fol.
lowing apology appeared in the editor.
ial columns: The cause of delin.
quency of this Paper, this ishure. Is
that j. R. Hamlin, has been quite i'll
for several days, and disable to do of.
flee work. "-Detrou Free Press.
Tansy. mint. thyme, lavender, swee,
brier, sassafras. sweet fern, sweet
marjoram. and half a dozen other de.
lightful aromatic plants once covered
the square in the garden that is now
devoted to cucumbers, cabbage. and
squash. Maud does not want to come
into the garden any more until she is
fond of vegetables. - Dallas (1eras)
Neacs.
At dinner at which Archbishop
Ryan OF fhliadelphla was present, al
Mount Desert, it is narrated Walter
Phelps said In the course of discus
sion of the Irish questions: But you
must admit, Bishop Ryan, that many
practices of the Irish in Ireland to-day
are treason" "Ah. but treason il
reason in Ireland on account of the alb.
sent L" retorted the Bishop.
De Montmorency Smith (hoping, yet
fearing)-"Well, Miss Fitz-Maurice, /
await your answer" Miss Fitz-Maur-
ice-'I shall have to say no. Mr..
Smith. 1t is possible / might learn to
love you in time. but as an American
young woman who owes a duty to hel
country cannot consent to become 8
member of the Smith family. 1t is toe
large already."-Chica9o Tribune.
O'Dowd-" But. bedad, the DAYS at
hand. O'Brien. whin there'll be nc
tinants in ould Ireland" OBrien-
AN whin's that?" O'Dowd-"Whiu
the landlords that's there is all abshen.
tees. an whin the tinants is all land.
lords" O'Brien-''Arrah.b but Their Il