News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1890-04-17

- Il IN sorry 10 go like this.
seems frigidly cool, you know,
Thls Mister of ours, and Miss,
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES he paused t.
note
II she seemed Inclined to frown.
But the light in her eyes his heartstrins,
smote.
As she blushingly looked down.
She spoke no word, but she picked a speck
Or dust, from his coat lapel;
so gmaIl, such wee, little, tiny fieck,
twas wonder she saw SO well;
But 1t brought her face SO very near.
In that dim, uncertain light,
1hat the thought, unspoken, was made quite
clear,
And know twas sweet Goodnight
In doubtful stato-Wonder if she
loves me?-Boston Herald.
The reason.-She-'Wh is it that
the flirt seldom marries?" He-"Be-
cause nobody will marry her. Boston
Courier.
"Smith is man Of very striking
characteristics" eyes; he strikes me
for loan every time he secs me-
Washington Post.
He wrote: al luv you. You have
thrown spell around me-" And she
replied, "Why don't you use it?"-
Boston Transcript.
"Where 10 old Bilkins ?" asked Lum-
ley.
''Gondolier at the choru. girls, 1
guess" replied Tumley.
Perceptible-''How did you enjoy
the opera last night, Miss Chatter '''
"Why, did you see me?" "No, 1
only heard Epoch.
No fire escapes.-Bacon-ss your
hotel fre-proof?' Egbert-.I reckon
1t is. never found fire in my room
yet."-Yonkers Statesman.
Wife (after a warm discussion)-
You are worse than Harry, sir.
Husband-Who's Harry, sir?
Wife-Why, the Old Harry.
A Simple Ratification.-sWell,p papa
has ratified our engagement, Josephus,
dear" Good! but what did he sayl"
"He simply said rats Puck.
Why, Indeed?-"Why, mamma
asked sweet young miss of 5, ''why
do people have two ears when they
can only hear one thing at time?"-
Judge.
Back presently.-sI am sorry your
hired girl left you. But you say you
expect her back" "Any moment. 1
see the kerosene can coming down
now."-New York Sun.
"What is Jinkinson doing now?"
"He writes funny paragraphs for the
Daily" ''Funny paragraphs?" eyes"
"Ihen why doesn't he put them in the
observation-disclosures Post.
There are men pounding on the door
OF the White House for third-class
post-offices, who, if they were in Ger
many, would tackle the Emperor for
the place made vacant by Bismarck.
Rounder-"Say, JOHNNY Did your
folks have private box at the theatre
last night?"
Johnny-"NoI but they had one
after they got home. Lowell Mail.
"Help, here, menI Lend a hand
and help lift this poor fellow out of
the mud-ho'e."
"Thats the Street Commissioner"
ait is? Then the sucker can stay
there"
The tramp handed him slate on
which was written: 81 am deaf and I
dumb, and l am hungry" And he |
handed it back Endorsed thus: ''Say !
nothing and saw wood. "-Terre Hau:e
Express.
AS Bad as a Sick Friend.-'.Hello
old mani You look played ut this
morning. Does the cold weather make
you tiredr" "Well, rather! Sat up
last night with sick furnace. Dos
ton Times.
We hope that 1t was not Boston
girl who remarked, as she looked upon
some specimens of that animal which
IL supposed to flourish in Chicago:
"Oh, just see the sweet little pigmies!"
Boston Post.
Mr.. South Church (of Boston,
"You are sure Mrs. Backbay's state
ment is correct2"
Mrs. South Churchill believe it to
be the unclothed veracity. "-Yeno-
wines News.
No Half Way Measures-Baggs-
s'Do you and your wife ever quarrel,
Uncle Ephraim%
Uncle Ephraim-''No, sab, we neb-
er quarrels, we jes fights" -Bnrling-
ton Free Press.
Never Too Late to Mend-"Are
those shoes too far gone to repair"
stNo, indeed. 1 think a new pair of
uppers, with soles and heels, will make
'em all right. The laces are good."-
New York Sun.
A Yelled Thrust-He-"ker
nv dear, rubbed on the neck and head
is positive cure for hog choleral"
She-G'Why-have you tried it! l
didn't notice any improvement" -
American Grocer.
The tight corset experiment was re-
Gently tried on several female monkeys
in London. The monkeys died, but
the ladies claim they died of shame and
humiliation because no garments were
put over the corsets.
People are yet laughing at doctor
In q little village i'll this state, who, In
filling out a certificate of death, in
advertently wrote his name in the
blank space reserved for cause of
death. "-Philadelph Press.
seToo bad about Hodge Podge, the
playwright, attempting to commit sui
cide-tried to cut his jugr lar"
ats just like him, though. The
critics tell US that he is all the time do
ing something in his best vein."
Changed Enthusiastically boy,
when / was your age / was at my
desk at o'clock in the morning" The
Son-'.That may be, but L know the
business is perfectly safe in your
hands even while I'm away.-Life.
Accidentally Overheard. - First
Small Boy (triumphantly)-'1 tell
YOU what, John L. Sullivan can knock
down everybo in this CITY," Second
Small Boy (defiantly)-"What of it!
You can't lick mcdowell Citizen.
When a reporter inquired for the
gentleman who was last week appoint
ed Consul at Cognac 1T was stated that
he had gone to Rye Beach to see
man. This seems to confirm the state
ment that strange things happen every