The morning call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1878-1895, 1890-10-28
SHOOTING WITH SAND.
+" Scotty" Campbell's Joke on a
Brother Officer.

''Of all practical jokers save me from the
patrolman, who, when the disease strikes
in, is the most to be feared of the fun-mak-
ing fraternity"
Such was the remark of well-known
officer who dropped into the new City Hall
station one sultry day last week in his
search for cool place to shuttle off this
mortal coil. Life in the broiling sun was
not worth living, and he decided that the
most comfortable bding place to await re-
lease from earthly cares was in the recesses
OF that structure. which has materialiZed
out OF colossal frauds and frozen effrontery.
1t was the irony of fate. this meeting
with the officer. for instantly the scribe was
taken possession of by new feeling, and
the delights of dissolution, with the pros
pect of the cool sea breezes toying with the
original elements into which he had been
wishing himself resolved, gave way to
selfish desires.
Exalting his gig-lamps and putting on his
most engaging manner the knight OF the
pencil encouraged the preseryer of the pub
lie peace to proceed, and nothing lOath, that
gentleman unbosomed himself as follows;
Oftlcer Campbell is one of the heartiest
laughers on the furee and one of the best
natured of fellows. We all call him ''Scotty,"
for there is nothing stuck up about him and
us, anyway Like the rest of bis watch, he
goes or duty at midnight. and on reporting
OFT, eight hours later, there are few of his
hall hundred comrades who do not, at some
time or another, fall victims to his practical
jokes.
Scotty's counterpart in good nature and
physiognomv is Officer T. o. Scott. the
proud wearer of Star 90, known on the force
as marksman of prowess, whether with
pistol or gun or rifle. Some few weeks ago
hearing that Sergeant Whitman had OBJ
tanned permit to kill Off the pigeons then
intesting the City Hail ruins 10 the great
injury and defacement If the public prop
erty, this thoughtful soul felt that he would
like to replenish his larder with the succu-
lent wild fowl and at the same time give his
comrades change to admire his abilities
with the gun. He accordingly asked and
obtained the necessary permission 10 enable
him to carry out his desires.
When he came t. report on that night lie
was provided with a handsome fowl ling
piece and loaded down with ammunition
enough to last any ordinary sportsman for
twelyemonth. Considerable chaff, of course,
greeted his appearance, but to all of it he
only anSW cred by inviting the crowd to see
some pigeons killed in the morning. Scotty
Immediately pricked up his ears at this and
rashly wagered dollar that the self-cOnfi-
dent sport could not knock over one bird in
five. To his great establishment Qor the
nimrod has an established reputation for
sanctimoniousness) the bet was taken with a
snap, and The joker found himself trapped.
with no escape unless his wits could save
him. After roll-call, however, Scotty found
an opportunity to reach the ammunition
which Lad been placed by the officer in his
locker. To remove the shot and fill the
shells with sand was the work OF 4 min ute,
and the joker went off rejoicing.
In the morning, after their tour OF duty
was ended, the whole watch turned out to
n
formed his friends OF the fun in store.
Bang. bang, bang, went shot after shot at
as many birds, which, instead of falling at
the feet of the eXpectant marksmaD, curled
their upper bills IN disdain and flew through
the unfinished windows into the mellow
| morning sun.
Another dollar that you don't hit that"
said Scotty, pointing to bird not fifty feet
away. Bang" was the reply, but tho bird
went TO join its mate, while the mad sports
man went home in dudgeon, leaving the
joker and his pals to enjoy the fruits Of the
adventure.
Once within the seclusion of his house,
Officer Scott investigated the cause Of his
discontinue, and quickly discovered the
prank that had been played upon him.
Divining who the joker was, he sought re-
venge by laying odds with Scotty for an
other shoot, a few days later, and this time
carried his cartridges III his pocket. But
Scotty was equal 10 the occasion, and pro-
curing decoy, placed 1t in conspicuous
place where Officer Scott could not fail to
see it. Morning came again; the decoy
served its purpose to a nicely. and the dis
gusted gunner was even more surprised than
before, for he did not even scare the bird
away, and Scotty was again ahead Investi-
CATION once more followed and the deception
was exposed.
Officer Scott now accused his tormentor
with having robbed n graveyard, as the de-
coy was not the usual wooden article known
to the pot hunter, but marble dove similar
to those used in sepulchral ornamentation.
The relations between the two are now
strained