Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1890-05-30
MARK TWAIN IN A FIX.
How the Humorist Was Made to Fill
Date on Short Notice, Without HIS
knowledge and How He Did 1T.

Date on Short Notice, Without His
knowledge and How He Did it.
When Mark Twain was in Washington
recently. he told number of interesting
incidents and anecdotes, one OF which the
Post of that city reproduces A gentle
man welI-known in political and news
paper circles, on being introduced to this
welI-known author. said TO him that he
had once had the pleasure of listening to
lecture ST his which was delivered twenty
years ago.
Ibid you?" asked Mark in that mimi
table drawl of his. well, now II have
to tell YOU something about that lecture.
Ii was a little the hardest and toughest
experience ever underwent In my whole
career rs a lecturer. | came to Washing
ton with no intention whatever Of deliver
ing lecture. simply came, don't you
know. to meet my friends, see the city,
and keep a little track of what was going
on in congress, as do hundreds of other
people in the course Of the winter. This
was twenty years ago you remember.
Now. had not been in the city more
than q day or two before a friend OF mine
came to my room at the hotel early one
morning. Weakened me out OF sound
sleep. and nearly stunned me by asking If
was aware of the fact that J was to deliver
lecture at Lincoln Hall that evening. !
told him no. and that he must be crazy to
get out Of bed at such an unseemIngly
hour 10 ask such foolish question But
he soon assured me that he was perfectly
sane by showing the iapers, which all an
n0unced that Mark Twain was TO lecture
that evening and that his subject would be
The Sandwich Islands. To say that
was surprised would be drawing it mildly.
| was mad for ! thought some one had
put up a game on me.
"Wel, on careful inquiry, ! learned
that an old theatrical friend Of mine
Thought he would do me a favor. So he
started ont by getting drunk. While In
tins condition he made all the necessary
arrangements for me to lecture, with the
exception of the slight circumstance that
he neglected 10 inform me Of any OF his
intentions He rented Lincoln Hall,
billed the town, and sent the newspapers
advertisements and notices about tie
coming sccture And the worst of it was
that he had done all his work thorough
ly. After learning this VIZ in diem
ma. had never prepared any lecture on
the Sandwich Islands What was to do?
could not back ont by telling the people
that / was mprcpared, and that my friend
was intoxicated when he made these ar
raneemcnts No, that was out Of the
question. because the public wouldE't be-
Iieve it anyway The billing of the town
had been too well done for that. So there
was only one thing left for me to do, and
that was to lock myself in my room and
write That lecture between the breakfast
hour and half-past that ovening. Well,
| did it, and was on hand at the advertlz-
ell hour, facing one Of the biggest audi
cnces ever addressed"
Yes, Mr. Clemens, you were there all
right, said Mr. , 'for ! heard the
lecture and very amusing one it was
too; but if remember correctly you did
not read from your notes. "
'You are right, ! did not use my MANI
script, replied Mark Twain, but IN
those early days always had my lecture
IN writing and ! kept it ON reading
stand at one side Of the place where
stood on the platform. was very good
at mcmorizing, and rarely had any trouble
in speaking without notes, bat the very
fact that | had my manuscript near at
hand where could readily turn to Is with
out having to undergo the modification of
pulling it from my pocket, gave me cour-
age and kept me from making awkard
pau-cs But the writing Of that Sandwich
Island lecture in one day was the toughest
job ever put mp on me.