The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-04-07
BRIGHT BITS.
WnH just enough the father was content.
The son determined that he would be richer
IL possible. so he to college went,
And now he is a famous base ball pitcher
-Pittsburq Dispatch,

WITH just enough the father was content,
The son determined that he would be richer
IL possible, so he to college went,
And now he is famous base ball pitcher.
-Pittsburg Dispatch.
TAKING A DEEP INTEREST IN HIM.-Dr. Pile
You've been working like a hero. doctor, to
save young Starvely's life And he is as Door
as Jobs turkey, too.
Dr. HackemE That's Just it. He owes me S75
alre ldy on my bill, and if he dies l wont get
cent.-Earper' Bdzdr.
PoRTLY ISDIvIDUAL--What is fair cigar
worth per thousand:
Deaer-About $40. 81. s
beg pardon, colonel didn't recognize you
at first About $3.50 How are you making it
in your canvass for alderman :''--Chica Trib-
une.
JoHNNY-My book, pa. says that honesty is
the best policy. Is that true, pa:
Munnibaggs Yes, my SON. if there hadn't
been honest people in the world how do you
suppose SHOULD ever have been able to get
ahead as l have9 Yes, my son, honesty is a
great help to a. man, great helps Boston
Transcript.
LITTLE BoY-This paper speaks of young
lady who has an attractive face. Does that
m AN pretty?
Papa-What young lady is the paper talking
aboutg
Its about an lleress'
1T means she isn't quite homely enough to
stop clock. "--Neio York Weekly.
FARMERS wrFE-wh is that horrible looking
man at the gatey
Tramp That S II friend of mine, num-
Farmers Wife-Wel he's the worst looking
thing I've Seen 10 seventeen years.
Tramp-He amt very pretty, mum, III ad-
nit, but between you aud me he stands very
high in our profession. -HdrDer's Weekly
"wHY don't you eat. Mr. BlivenT' said that
young mans landlady. You seem in doubt
about something" -ti
Il am.
What is itY'
Il can't make up my mind whether that is a
very small piece Of steak or whether the serv
ant simply forgot TO wash the plate. - Wash
tHgton Post.
WHAT were you about TO remark
Nothing at all, assure you, replied Willie
Washington.
But you looked as if you had something to
"Yaas; I'm verwy deceptive that way. I've
often thought, myself, that had something to
say, aud discovahed aftah | said it that |
hadn't. - Washington Post.
CENSUS TAKER lin Texasl-Yes, I've got the
name down all right. How many children have
you!
Native-Sev-let me see. CTo wife)-Nance,
is it seven or nineg
Wife-Eight, o course.
Native Qndifferentlyl-So it is. Eight.
| proudly And I've got eleven of the slickest,
purtiest, scrumptiouseSt hunting dogs, by gum,
that ever freed a coon.
READY TO PROCEED TO BUSINESS Man with
blank book Ito large. cross-eyed woman at door
Il am the census, taker wish 10 see the
| head of the family.
Voice from inside the room-H'm, HIM,
ahem.
Large, cross-eyei woman (peremptorily to
owner of voiceI-keep that cradle going,
James. (To census taker) Go ahead with your
questions, sir Chicago Tribune.
ACCOUNTED FoR-Chicago man lin hotel CORR
dor to fellow guest)-Excuse me- sir, bat | be
lisve you have taken my hat by mistake; just
came out of the dintng-room and noticed my
peg was empty; yes trying it on), was right
This is my hat.
Fellowguest-B sir. You must be in error.
Why, it is altogether too small for you.
Chicago man ughtlyl-Precisely. But you
must bear in mind sir that L bought that hat
before we got the worlds fair. Ctothier and
FMrnisher