Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1890-09-12
ELEMENTARY TARIFF STUDY
How Mr.. and Mrs. Smithers Applied
the Republican Economic Doctrine
TO Home Affairs.
And the Result ii Had in Encouragin.
Home Production and Domestic
Economy.
An Interesting Primary Study of the
Practical Operation of the Pro
tectiye System.
From the Chicago News.

| lSCIlNt SNSltli.
From the Chicago News.
Clarence" said young Mrs. Smithers
one morning at the breakfast table, what
is all this talk on the tariff | see in the
papers? What is the tariff, anyhow and
what Is it good for?"
The tariff, my dear replied young
Mr.. Smithers, graciously-Mr. SmitherS,
1t should be remarked, tells his story in
the columns of Light, humorous Chicago
weekly Journal-''iS Il tax laid ON I'M
ported articles for the purpose of raising
revenue and encouraging and protecting
home industries. For instance. if the
manufacture of steel rails languiSheS in
this country we put a tariff of $50 a ton
on imported steel rails, and the manufac-
ture OF steel rails in this country immedi-
ately picks up; and the men who work at
the business are paid better. because they
do not have the toreig made articles to
compete with. except at an advance of $50
ton over the old cost Besides that, the
tariff on what foreign-made ra lis that do
come over goes to help fill the treasury. ="
why, think that is real cute" re-
| piled Mrs. SmitherS, who took in the
situation, as some tariff statesmen do, at a
| glance. Suppose we try it. We need
some way of laying by money, and think
need some encouragement, in doing my
own work; and think plan like the
tariff would be perfectly splendid. -
All right, If you can work it, re-
spOnded young Smithers, who readily fell
| in with his wite'S plans. since they had
only been married short time
The way | would fix it is this: Every
| time You take a meal down-street you must
| pay into the treasury a sum equal to the
| cost of your dinner. That will encourage
| you to eat my dinners; encourage home
! production, believe You call it. Every
| time you bring a loaf of bakers bread into
| the house you must put a dime in the treas
ury, and that will encourage me to make
our own bread. | know | can make per
tectly elegant bread if only have proper
| encouragement. And then, you know,
am going to have a garden in the back
yard, or at least | want to start one, and
want to have some assurance that my
vegetables will he eaten; so Wen agree to
pu into the treasury the cost of all the
vegetables we use this summer. And then
we-'
Il think" mildly suggested Mr..
Smithers, I'VE had better let the tariffs
l..
see how the thing goes.
will go spiendidlyl Doesn't il go splen-
didly in politics? Don't you think the
plan is good?' asked Mrs. Smithers. half
hurt.
"Oh, it's excellent" agreed Mr.. Smith
ers, who being a high-tariff republican,
could not go back on his ayowed princi-
pies.
And you promise to live up to it? ques-
toned Mrs Smithers
'1es-fOr six months" agreed Mr..
Smithers
Six months after that as Mr. Smithers
dropped 55 cents into the treasury-box as
an equivalent for the lunch he had eaten
down street and the small loaf of bread he
had brought home, lie heaved sigh of
relief and gasped: Thank heaven it is
over with.
What s the matter, C!arence?" asked
his wife.
Angelina" solemly returned young
Mr.. Smithers, docs it occur tC you that
we are both consummate fools?"
mo what?" exclaimed Mrs. Smithers.
in surprise.
Because we've been carrying on this
extravagant foolishness for the last six
mouths"
"Oh. you mean the tariff? Why,
thought it was working splendid. You We
never complained. What's the matter
nOw?"
I've never complained because, | said
| would live up TO it for six months; but
I've done pile of thinking. The blamed
thing has kept me strapped and half
starved for the last half year. Every time
I've taken dinner down town it has cost
me twice as much as it should have; and
every time I've taken a dinner home
well, you must admit you haven't i'm
proved bit in your cooking, with all this
encouragement.
We'll, Clarence, retorted young Mrs.
Smlthers, bristllng up. you know some
of the bad dinners were the fault of the
help in the kitchen
Yes: and what kind of help do you
have in the kitchen? The cheapest kind
procurabe. | should think your full
treasury would unable you to hire better
girls, at good wages, . said Mr.. Smithers,
with vague idea that he had scored the
same point that he had often heard made
about the tariff and the workingman
wages
How foolish you talk, Clarence!" ex-
of paying s. for girl when you can get
one for "a; and besides, if had paid the
girl all the treasury what good would the
tariff have done me?'
Mr.. Smithers did not attempt to answer
these unanswerabe questions.
Have you learned to make bread any
! better, because every loaf of bakers bread
| that's been brought into this house has
cost me 20 cents where 1t should have cost
| 10? No. Your bread is as soggy and
unpalatabe as ever: so we have to buy
| bakers bread. anyway. And then that
| foolishness with the garden, went on MIR.
| Smithers. What do you suppose that
! garden has cost both of us?''
Il don't know, admitted Mrs. Smith
ers.
well. l do. Just 100 per cent more
| than a garden will next summer. Now,
| I've paid you tariff on every vegetable
that's come into this house. and yet it
| didn't encourage your garden to raise
anything more than radlshes and lettuce,
| because it wasn't anything more than
radish and lettuce garden. Yet I've paid
| double price on potatoes and turnips,
when you couldn't raise potatoes ano
turnips in your garden if you were paid
| three times as much tariff on all imported
potatoes and turnips. But still, went
! on Mr. Smithers, consolingly, suppose
there's something gained. You ought to
have 3 good sum laid by to make up for
my continual hardupness.
.'No!" cried young Mrs. Smithers
bursting into tears: Il haven't. I've al
ways considered that treasury something
of a luxury and I'm afraid I've spent
more-more than / should have Every
time I'd count il I'd get to thinking how
| rich | was; and then I'm afraid I've been
a little extra7agant. Clarence. And once
or vice I've given sums to charity where
I'm afraid I've Eeen imposed upon. !
gave $50 to rebuild St. Glanden church
| that had been burned down. and after
ward found out there was no St. Glanden's
| church that had been burned down.,
Mr.. Smithers had never been to con-
gress. but be could not help thinking ofriv-
! er and harbor bills and extrayagant appro-
priations in this connection. He simply
whistled and said: Angelina, the more
/ look into the tariff business the big
ger fools think we both have been.
Republicans odious Act
MILWAUKEE. Sept 3.-Was it that
they were sure the democratic state ticket
would be elected, saws the Journal, or was
| it that they wished to throw the demo
Z cratic party into confusion by folc cling one