Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1890-10-30
PlTH AND POINT,

"A medical philosopher says that
matrimony appears like an inverted
fever. 1t begins with warmth and ends
with chill.
There is a gorge in Yellowstone
Park where no sound can be heard.
Not bad place for boarding house.
Rams Horn.
There is great pleasure in showing
some other fellow up as fool. 1t takes
away that lonely feeling, as it were
Indianapolis Journal
WHO is making all this talk?''
asked the vinegar bottle severely at a
social rerast. Il am" said the cham
pagno bottle proudly from the head of
the table.-N. q. Picayune.
Kitty" said the lover. as they sat
in the dark corner of the piazza
kitty, close your eyes" why so,
George?" IF you don't every body will
be able to see US. "-Harpers Bazaar.
To be taken after each meal" read
Impecune, as the doctor left the pre-
scription: Il shouldn't think one dose a
day would help a fellow up very fast. y
Pharmaceutical Era.
Washington was a great man, and
he accomplished marvels for his coun-
try. but then he didn't have as much to
worry him as modern statesmen have.
His trousers never bagged at the knees.
-Somerville Journal.
But. Bertha, it was only last
month that l paid q DIRE ssmaker's bill
of $50 marks. and here is another one
for this month of 100 marks" well,
dear Edgar, that shows, you see, that
am beginning to spend less.'-Flie-
gende Blatter.
Visitor lat Lonelyville, n. J.)-'Ii
l were in your place / would keep an
eye on those tramps. They are all
armed with big murderous looking
clubs" Jersey Farmer-''Oh, that's all
right Them clubs is for muskeeters. -
N. Y. Weekly.
brakeman ton railroad train al
night Poughleepsie., Poughkeep-
sic Lady-"Dear me! Will these rail
road men ever learn to pronounce sc
FOLKS can understand them? What sta
ton is this?" Friend-''This is our sta
tion-P'kcpsy." flood News.
Miss Antyque-''I always keep a
light burning in my room. I'm so afrait.
burglars viii break III and carry me
away" Miss Firstsummer-"Ah, yes?
And by keeping the room light enough
SO they could see you. you would pre-
vent them from doing so."-Chicaga
Post
Just Like Grown Folks
Sid little Grace to little Bess:
Il guess L make my doll dress"
Said little Bess to little Grace:
al think you'd better wash its FACET
1 -, ,,I.., ,.E.,,l
In conscious W iSdOm she grew prouder-
I'll do like grown-up ladies do.
just put on grease and lots of powders"
Epoch.
A great many men down town are
like the boy at school. He spends the
time from nine to ten in getting start
cd, and from eleven to twelve in watch
ing the clock for the time when school
will be out. From ten to eleven is the
time when he does any thing, and then
he does very little. He grows up to be
the kind of man who is always howl
ing about dull times, and who wonders
why business is so poor.
Globe.
Il fear verwy much" said Willie
Wishing ton, that l am growing wesent-
full ''Why?" was the interrogatory.
II am getting so that L answer back
with a quickness that amounts almost
to asperity. Miss Belle Pepperton
wemahked to me yesterday that ii
seemed impossible foh me to get any
thing through my head at times. "
What did you say?" II told heb that
if such were the case l should certainly
have stahved to death long ago
Washington Post.