St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-12-26
PREACHING AND PRACTICE.

Piety is the top coat OF religion, and
is often too short to cover up the tails
of creed hanging down behlnd.-New
York Herald.
Foggs-Why do you always put a sill
yer dollar in the plate9 Trotter-Be-
cause people would never hear it ii L
put in a bill.-New York Herald.
Wife-DO you believe coal dealers go
to heaven when they die? Husband "a
minister)-No. my dear; not unless they
repent CT their Weighs.-Philadelphla
Times.
What's the matter with your choir,
anyhow? They were awfully fiat this
morning. "Some organic trouble, L
think. The ~organiSt was rattled."-
Munsey's Weekly.
No Indian outbreak yet. Perhaps the
red man is telling the truth when he
claims that the ghost dance is only a
church affair-a religious function, SO to
Speak.-lndianapoliS journal.
Clergyman-Ah, my friend. why don't
you lay UP treasures for yourself in
heaven? Business man-Because l am
not sure that L will ever get there to
claim them.-New York Herald.
MIR. ClOSetit-''Good morning. parson.
Has the Mckinley bill affected your
business any? Pastor-Very mater
tally. There are fewer buttons in the
contribution box."-New York Weekly.
Sunday School Teacher-Why were
only Noah and his family saved in the
ark? Small Boy-'Cause Noah was
good and didn't ask nothin'. The rest
wanted the earth, an they got it
Good News.
O, why does the girl in the front pew turn
red,
And wriggle around i'll at ease?
o, because she forgotten her handkerchief,
see?
And she's trying to hold back a sneezc.
New York Herald.
'It is a great hardship. is it not SIR"
vas asked of the Methodist preacher,
Ito be ordered from II church to
another every four yearS?." 'lt would
Setm So" returned the dominic, ''but
it's a great saving in sermons."-
Brooklyn Life.
They were coming out of a fashion,
able church last Sunday morning,
GLOW mellow and yet how dramatic DR..
Elites delivery is" she remarked.
Yes, melo-dramatic," was the reply of
the gentleman walking with her, who
does not greatly admire the delivery of
DR.. Flite.-New York Tribune.
bona listen to 1atterers. deah bred
dern. becuZ eff va do ya1l be sorry fer
it in de END. DE flatterer always has an
object i'll view; de man dat smiles in
yer face an praises va up fer de way
va raises yer chickens am only waiten
fer a dark night to come. when he kin
sneak around an make a selection from
yer pootiest bullets fer his own uSe."-
New York Herald.
Noted EXhUrter Gn Western town.
My friend, i'll passing through this place
last week | noticed it was full of sinful
characters. and yOu remember | told
you something ought to be done to raise
them up. Host-YeS, stree, and | start
Ell Out quick aS you left To Have it done.
It's all right now, parson. We raised
every cusS we could catch and the rest
has left town.-Good News.
There have be n some sharp things
said lately with respect to plagiarism in
the pulpit. 1t is claimed when a preacher
uses the words OF another he should al
ways acknowledge it; but the difficulty
is 10 know when the quotation ends.
One man who appropriated another's
rmo began with: "A certain man
hath said,' but his hearers did not
dream that they were indebted to that
'tctrtaln man" for the whole Sermon
Christian Inquirer.
Good Minister down in Kentucky
The contributions this morning are re-
markable-simply wonderful. | never
knew them to be so large. Deacon
Drawem-Yaas, l reckoned they'd
mount up some'at to-day. Some on
ZEN didn't like the idee, but L knew
the thing would work. Got it set up in
the vestibule this mOrnin'. Good Min
lister Thing? What thing? Deacon
Drawem-Why, our new drop-a-nickel-
in-tht- LOT - 1N'-Sao- h -hncc- 20 aa ,anGiro
New York Weekly.
A suburban clergyman, on whose
church hangs a heavy and uncoin-
promising mortgage, was asked by a
friend the other day if any steps had
been taken to relieve the church from
this incubus. Yes" he replied sadly.
1--WE have had pretty much everything
except Carmencita and Otero; but
the expenses generally about
equal the receipts. L tell my
people that they ought to give
without any expectation of an equiv
alent in the shape of amusement, but
not business. Now, what is a clergy
man TODD in such a case."-New York
Tribune.
Mr.. Bloobumper-Did you enjoy the
sermon, love? Mrs. Bloobumper-O,
it vas exquisite, bat l should have en-
joyed it better if I'd had as pretty a
bonnet as Mrs. Gimp's to wear. Mines a
perfect fright, and so old-fashioned. "Mr.
Bloombumper-Guess you didn't notice
what the minister said about envy.
Mrs. Bloobumper-Well, l don't careI
One can't cultivate the Christian vir-
tues with only two bOnnets a year. Mr..
Bloobunper-Well, if L made my
money as unserupulously as Gimp
makes his | could afford Il let you get
all the bonnetS your heart could desire.
Mrs. Bloobumper-I guess you didn't
notice what the minister said about love
and charity.-MunSey's Weekly.