Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1890-01-02
WIT AND HUM0R.

eApeuslNeJ a. elSlt. Ao'C' A4tA- go
Chronicle.
People who call one another liars
often get hurt for telling the truth
Merchant TraUeler.
A wife owes a duty to her husband,
and the husband, as in courtesy bound,
paws the debt BinghaDltoH Leader.
Politicians seem to agree with must
clans that thorough base methods are the
foundation of harmony.-Battlmore
Ap5ericaH.
The Iowa cheese factories talk of
organizing into a corporation and want
a name. We suggest the Mite society.
Tens SyliHgs.
We do not credit the rumor that a
tragedian kept himself from starving in
the west By eating all Of his Shaks-
pearean roles Harp Bazar.
The woman who takes three hours to
dress for party may be vain, but she
will never wear short hair or try to act
like a SomerUiile Journal.
Miss Periodic Cat the races-'I shall
buy the horse whose driver wears blue"
Miss Discreet wouldn't. Blue oils
not fast color you now."-Ne10 York
sun.
1t is queer that young man never
notices that the woman he is in love
with has freckleS until after she has
Tilted or married him.-Ierre Haute En-
press.
A glass Of beer will attract more
flies than a glass of water. 1t also has
an attractive force for other animals
not possessed of wings.-NeU York
Herald.
Man may have seven ages, but a
woman after she reaches a certain
point has but one. She sticks to that
for the remainder Of her life. Merchant
TraUeler
Claus Spreckels wants to build houses
of sugar. If an apartment building of
this material is erected we are willing
to take sweet of rooms.-LaUrel1c
american.
Do you notice that long leering grin
which divides the upper from the lower
she'll of the oyster? That is in appre.
citation Of the annual r joke Wash
i7gtoR Capital.
Medical authorities insist that stimu-
lants weaken the voice, and doubtless
they do. 1t must be admitted, however,
that they strengthen the breath
Philadelphia Press.
Curious state of affairs at my
society, said the recording secretary.
Whats that?' "Why, it took two
hours last night Tor me to get ten min
utes. -Hayper's Bazar.
Whenever we hear a man boastingly
exclaim that he and his wife agree in
everything we are always tempted to
ask, (which one of you, then, is the
otPn-B0StoH Blade.
A Chicago paper says the danger line
at all. The danger line will only be
reached when corn is manufactured in.
to whisky.-zeraS Sytiags.
The man who shoots his girl to make
her love him and the girl who throws
vitriol in her lovers face for the same
purpose should marry and have it out
with each other Philadeiphia Times.
Sarcastic guest-"Waiter, how long
have you been in this establishments"
Waiter-"Six weeks, SIR Then you
were not here when | ordered that
beefsteak. Excuse me. "-TeraS SittingS.
Mumley-"The proprietor of this
ready-made clothing store is law
breaker Dumley-"How do you
make that out?" Mumley-"Why,
isn't he a counter-titter?' -Net0 York
sun.
Angry father-"If you wish to con-
tinue your visits to my daughter
sir, you must wear a frock coat"
Suitor- When you chain up your dog,
sir, shall be happy to.'-Cl0thier and
FUrniSber.
Mrs. Jason-'Who was the author Of
the saying that history repeats ITSELF
Jehiel?' Mr.. Jason-'I dunno.
Probably some fellow who went to two
minstrel shows in one week."-Terre
H4Vte Express
Boston GIRLS it not strange,
Senior Matilda that you have never
married? Have you never proposed?"
Senior Matildo-''No. l leave the
management Of all my money matters
to my secretary. N1Ep0ch
Subscriber-"Say, don't see any
thing funny about your jokes" Para.
grapher-"You don't? l want you to
understand, sir, that those jokes con-
yulsed thousands with laughter before
you were born.-NelU York sun.
Hopwood Knox, did l ever tell
You the story about the Judge and his
coon dog?" Knox-'I don't remember.
Was it good one?" Hopwood-
a mighty good story" Knox Then
you never told it to me. "-NelC York
Truth
Il don't understand now YOU can
stay so continually i'm the house this
summer. feel as if must get away
if only to see some new faces, .Ohl ]
don't need TO 90 for that. Ny wife has
a new servant every day. "-FBeqeude
B'qHcr.
Mrs. Lumlins-" Joshua, am going
to the dentists 10 have "a tooth pulled
out. You mind the baby while I'm
gone Mr.. L dumping for bis hat)-
Say, you MIND the baby and III 90