davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-10-09
RELAXATION FOR READERS.

Motto of the campaign orators-We push
the button, the people do the Minneapolis
Journal.
$50 the Fair will be held in Cbicago?'
remarked an Eastern visitor.
IlOh. YES, replied a subscriber, mournfully,
s'there seems to be no possibility of its getting
away. ."-LVe
Simpson-Where are you living now?
skimpson-on Portland avenue, just above Dale
street.
simpson-How convenient You are within two
blocks OF the electric cars
skimpson-Yes; but the electric cars are never
within two blocks of me.-St. Paul PiOneer-Prsss
"Say, Bloxsby," said kingston, "did you
see that Virginia Knox, that pretty Pittsburg
girl VINO married bogus count is to act upon the
stage?''
..No! You don't sayP It's funny how these
things work. When little Minnie Apolis got tied
who acted-acted like sin, too.''- Chicago Times.
Friend Ito Bowery dime museum proprie-
tori Have you been to the Liliputians that are
performing at NiblO's?
Dime Museum Proprietor (contemptuously)-
Yaas.
''what do you think of themG'.
''Thlnk Of them. Why. I've got dwarfs per-
forming at my museum that are twice as big as
them Liliputians. ''-Teras Sirttngs.
Smart Yankee.-Speaker Reed, I have
called to show you some of my late inventions. I
have here q new set of reflex, patent adjustable
rules.
Gar Reed-No use for 'em. manufacture my
own. SO clear out!
''And here have an appliance by which can
apply the storage system to Congressional quo
runs"
sswhatl Come to my arms! oh, this Is the
way long have sought and mourned because ]
found 1t not. ~ Chicago Mail,
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-10-09

by this means. while the buildings along
their attractive streets are modest and inex-
pensive. In the few cases where any ap-
Proclamation has been made to it in Pitts
burg it created the beauty spots of the city.
The universal testimony of experience is
that no adornment of streets is more lasting
or effective in the creation of beauty than
this one of planting shade trees between
sidewalk and roadway.
Certainly cities which have neglected that
work of establishment will do well to take
it up. The fact that it is agitated in Phila-
delphia as a new idea shows how that city
during its long life has neglected cheap
but effective mode of establishment, and
proposes to make up for the neglect Pitts
burg should join in the movement, and an
excellent opportunity is at present afforded
to do it. There are now probably a dozen
miles of street in process of improvement,
along which strip of turf and shade trees
could be placed between the curbs and side
walks without appreciably increasing ex-
pense. The gain in beauty will be beyond
calculation; while the actual enhancement
OF rental value by the superior beauty OF
the streets will constitute rich return for
the slight cost of improvement.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-10-09
THEATRICAL NOTES.

BOTH performances of opera at the Biiou
yesterday attracted great crowds. and in the
evening al Trovatore" sent standing room to a
premium. "The Bohemian Girl" and s.Il Troy-
atore" gave general satisfaction, and the latter
performance showed marked Improvement in
chorus and orchestra.
THOSE very popular comedians, Monroe and
Rice make their second appearance before a
Bijou audience next Monday evening. The
piece, my Aunt Bridget" is one of those
merry, peculiar plays, written for laughing pur-
poses only, with very little plot. as usual, with
all musical farce comedies The play itself
creates unlimited laughter, and the singing
was last year meritorious, while the dancing of
Messrs. Rice and Mack and the Misses Rose
bud and Mcdonald was above the average. Mr.
George Monroe sings his new song, '.The Irish
Jubilee" and Catharine Linyard sings, STEADY,
Boys, Steady"
The first appearance here of the Pauline Hall
Opera Company is looked forward to with in
terest, as the charming Pauline is undoubtedly
q great favorite in this city. The company
comes to the Grand Opera House next week
and will produce the operas "Amorita" and
"Erminie." the former for the first four nights
and Wednesday matinee, and the latter on
Friday and Saturday matinee and night
"Amorlta" is new to Pittsburg, never having
been heard outside of New York until Miss
Hall produced it last week in PHILADELPHIA.
The costumes aud scenery are said to be very
costly and beautiful, and in Philadelphia,
where the company opened its season, the press
was unanimous in praise of the beauty of the
production. Charles II. Drew is the comedian
of the company, and Homie Weldon. who
scored such q success in "Amorita last sea-
son. is the prima donna,
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-10-09
cRoSS-ExAMINATIoN,

w P. HACKNEY, a lawyer of Winfield, Kan,
was defending man on the charge of
murder some time ago. There was no doubt
but his client had killed the man, and the plea
of self-defense had been set up.
The principal witness for the prosecution was
an old fellow whose appearance was decidedly
against him. He was over SIX feet tall, very
slim, and the continual use of tobacco had
turned him the color of chocolate, while the
shirt that he was wearing was of the color of
an old and much-used meerschaum pipe. He
talked deliberately, and his story made a
strong case against the prisoner.
During the examination Hackney had come
the old dodge OF being apparently very busy
and paying no attention to the examination.
He had sized the man up, however, and knew
that any attempt at bulldozing him into
passion SO that he would impeach himself
would be fruitless. He therefore resolved on
a different plan.
When the witness was turned over for cross
examination, Hackney scowled at him a min
ute fercely.
"Stand up" he commanded.
The witness slowly stretched out his six feet
of masculinity.
Turn around and let the jury look at you,"
was the next order.
The witness turned his face to the Jury, a
face covered with hair till 1t resembed a door
mat. His comical appearance and slow move
ments were too much for the jury, and they
all Uttered. As the witness turned to sit down,
Hackney, who had again resumed his writing,
said: THAT is ALL You may step down."
That was all the examination given. but it was
enough to impeach the witness, and the pris-
oner was acquitted.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-10-09
NOT LIKELY To WORK,

A rather novel plan of settling a Con-
gressional deadlock is that adopted by the
conferees of the Twenty-frst Congressional
district in submitting it to the State chair
man. 1t authorizes him to pick out three
men from outside the district who shall
name the Congressional nominee. As this
practically places the nomination of Con-
gressmen directly in the hands of the State
chairman, it is not strange that it evokes the
comment from the Philadelphia Press that
it provides something a little worse than
the conieree system at time when such a
thing was regarded as impossible"
The possibilities of nomination by this
method are so clear they hardly need be en-
larged upon. The conferees who took this
action might have referred the matter back
to the voters of the district with a statement
that the plan of nomination under which
they were working rendered it impos-
sible to make a nomination, and
advising the people to adopt some
better plan. Instead OF that, at time when
there are decided intimations of revolt be-
cause the State managers hold the naming
of Governors, the action adds to their func-
tions the nomination of Congressman. The
conditions of this transfer specifically con-
vey the practical declaration that the politi-
cal system of the Twenty-frst district is
such that the people are unable to nominate
their own candidates.
There is an additional feature to this gift
of a Congressional nomination which bids
L -
like that tabled apple at he feast of 0lym-
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-10-09
HE DRANK WATER.

THERE is a stout iolly-looking writer on a
Pittsburg paper who never drinks anything
stronger than water. Affidavits covering this
statement are extant. The other night, being
thirsty, he went into beer saloon and bought
a lemonade. A man may order a lemonade
even in German beer saloon without incurrlng
the proprietor's dislike. When he had swal-
lowed the acidulated draught. he resolved to
provide against the return of thirst by taking
up to his office some ice water. He said to the
bartender: "Prythee give me pail of water?'
"What?' politely Queried the artist at the
tap.
"Give me growler full of water and a
chunk of ice"
"What fort" asked the bartender with his
eyebrows in his bang.
ITO drink. Want to take it with me-see?'
II don't KNOW" said the bartender, and he
went and fetched the proprietor.
"What for you want der water?" asked the
saloon keeper, and it was noteworthy that he
gripped the beer mallet tightly as if he ex-
pected the lunatic to be violent.
ITO drink, of course" was the reply.
want to drink water!l What for? Want to
drink waterl!p' and repeating this over and
over again the proprietor and bartender went
to the rear of the saloon. where they held a
conference as to the unparalleled demand.
They decided in the petitioners favor, but he
knew from their looks that they thought he
had water on the brain.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-10-09
1T MEANS WHAT 1T SAYS.

The esteemed Philadelphia Press accuses
The DISPATCH of misrepresenting it by
attributing to it the argument with regard
to Senator Delamater's violation of the Con-
stitution, that as "Senator Delamater has
not been convicted on this charge" he is not
disqualified by the constitutional provision.
There was no intention to misrepresent
our cotemporary. The words quoted were
transcribed direct from its editorial columns
where they were used in connection with
denial of the disqualification; and it is
somewhat difficult to perceive their appo-
siteness in any other sense than by the ap-
plication which we gave to them. 1t is,
however, more creditable to the Press to re-
pudiate having resorted to any such humili-
ating though technically truthful plea; and
we are glad to credit it with having used
the words merely as a multiplication Of
verbiage, in the line adopted by the Repub-
licans in this campaign, of general denial
and nothing more.
In the same connection the Press finally
works out a definite statement of its con-
struction of the language of the Constitu-
ton so as to accord with its assertion that
the constitutional provision does not apply
to Senator Delamater's case. After quoting
the language of the Constitution, it develops
its idea of the meaning of the law as fol-
lows:
This is plain enough. The law authorizes the
deposit of the public moneys with bankers, and
the deposits of certain amounts with bank in
which Senator Delamater happened to have an
interest was entirely within the law. No use of
the funds was made not authorized by law.
We have only to quote few simple
words of the Constitution which could never
be misunderstood unless by political organ
in desperate strait and compelled to create
confusion in the minds of its readers. The
Constitution says just this: "The making of
profit out of public moneys by any officer of
the State, or member or officer of the Gen
eral Assembly, shall be a misdemeanor and
shall be punished as may be provided by
law; but part of such punishment shall be
disqualification to hold Office for period of
not less than five years.
Above is the language and such is the
meaning of section IA Section IA also pro-
vides if any of the State officials or members
of the General Assembly use the public
moneys ''for any purpose whatsoever not
authorized by law they shall be similarly
disqualified. The latter provision was
never intended to nuilify the, former, and it
is stupid to hold that because Senator Della
mater did not violate both provisions of
section IA he must be acquitted in respect
to the one which he did violate.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-10-09
WELCOME TO PITTsBURG.

The distinguished representatives of the
iron and steel industries of Europe arrived
safely in Pittsburg last night. They are
now our guests and are cognizant already of
the warm welcome which Pittsburg offers
them. The journey across the mountains,
broken by short stays at Altoona, Johns
town and Jeannette, has served to
gradually introduce them to the resources
of this city, with which they are now to be-
come more intimately acquainted. The
Pennsylvania Railroad with its triumphs of
engineering and mechanical monuments, the
resurrection of Johnstown, and the rapid de-
velopment of a new town in Jeanette, form
a fitting overture, as it were, to an extended
view of Pittsburg. We hope that our visit
ors will enjoy to the utmost the sightseeing
and social entertainments that are before
them, and we venture to assure them once
more that Pittsburg appreciates the honor of
their presence and welcomes them in the
heartiest spirit.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-10-09
Social Chatter.

COLONEL AND MRS. W. W. SCOTT, of Sc
wickley, give reception this evening to pre-
sent their two daughters, Misses Gertrude and
Winifred Scott, charming young girls who
graduated last June at Hollidaysburg.
The tenth anniversary of the Woman's
Indian Association of PIttsburg and Allegheny
will be celebrated to-day in the parlors of the
Young Women's Boarding Home, Stockton
avenue, Allegheny
RECEPTION will be given in Cyclorama
Hall Friday evening, October "a. of which
Messrs. w. G. Herr, w. c. Gray, T. A. Dunn,
Fl. E. Hill and I. Harry Dolan will be the Re
ception Committee.
THE Pittsburg Amateur Photographers As
sociat1on has returned from delightful ex-
cursion to Cuyahoga Falls. bringing with them
many proofs of the beauties of the place.
MUSIC and flowers, grace and beauty, and
English and American nobility will meet and
mingle at the grand reception at the Duquesne
Club this evening.
MRS. BLAIR of Sewickley, givesa progressive
euchre party this afternoon for Mrs. R. ]. Cum
ningham, the Edith Gilmore of old.
THE McKnight-Semple nuptials at Christ's
Church on Union avenue this evening
THE Murphy-Holmes wedding at Calvary
Episcopal Church tonight
THE Robinson-Fleming wedding this even
ing.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-10-09
EMBELLISHING THE STREETS.

A plan for beautifying city streets is
receiving considerable attention in Phila-
delphia, as suggested by Mr.. G. Ralston
Ayres, of that city. 1t is the simple and
inexpensive one of leaving on the residence
streets wide margin of turf, between side
walk and curbstone. and planting in each
strip row of shade trees. This involves
no more cost than any other plan which in
cludes sidewalks and curbs, and in a very
few years makes the street on which 1t is
carried out more attractive than any other
Improvement could.
The plan suggested is an old one for many
parts OF the country, and its results in
beautifying certain places are so famous
that it is somewhat singular to find it strik-
ing our Philadelphia friends as a novelty.
practically the plan which made Hartford
famous as the City of Elms and determined the
character of Euclid avenue, In Cleveland,
as one of the finest avenues in the country
before any remarkable private palaces were
built on that magnificent boulevard. Many
of the smaller towns in Northern Ohio have
established character for beauty simply
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-10-09
EVILS OF THE STAGE.

The Actors Order of Friendship has pro-
tested against the use of indecent pictorial
posters to advertise certain class of theat-
rieal entertainments. Such reputable ac-
tors as Mr.. Stuart Robson and his associates
in the Order believe that it is against the
interes: of the theater to fill store
windows and fences with pictures of
extra decollete females, and every
sensible man will agree with them. But the
protest might be made broader. 1t might,
with advantage, take in the performances on
the stage, which sometimes more than rival
the Autographs in suggestiveness and
downright indecency. The New York
stage recently gave glaring example of the
lengths to which these exploiters of the in
decent will go. The pictures are bad
enough, but the reality upon the boards is
worse. The managers who are responsible
for both should be outlawed by respectable
aptOrS
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-10-09
ALL SORTS OF PEOPLE.

MRS. LANGTRY is resEng in Paris
SAM JONES will lecture in Florida this win
ter.
QUEEN VICTORIA is passionately fond of
babies.
b. GLADSTONE says that an Irish eviction is
equivalent tc a death sentence.
Ex-Governor ALGER is negotiating for the
purchase of $500 600 worth of timber.
JOHN BURNS, the rising English labor leader
is man of striking individuality. He is a
candidate for Parliament.
PRIzEFIGHTER Dempsey says that the ring
affords the best and the most delightful exer-
ci Sc of any athletic sport.
THE Gar of Russia is the largest of all living
landed proprietors, owning an estate which is
nearly equal in area to the whole of France.
SECRETARY BLAINE may visit Atlanta and
other Southern points. The people there are
anxious to hear him on the reciprocity ques-
ton.
JEAN INGELow is a sweet-faced lady with
sends prose composition to several English
magazines.
SAYS Mr.. Stanley: 'Assuredly 1 shall not
soon return to Africa. First of all. have to
give lectures in the United States. Then am
entitled to little rest"
THE leading social event in London the COM
ing year is the proposed marriage of Princess
Maud, youngest daughter of the Prince of
Wales to Ferdinand de Rothschild.
LITTLE Alphonso KILL, of Spain, is ~ years
old, He has prodigious appetite, and it Is
necessary to watch him carefully at table to
prevent him from commanding. He Is pnt to
beo promptly at every night and is walked
up att for his cold bath, which he takes as
readily as if he were hardy young English
boy.
MICHIGAN's newest millionaire, James M.
Ashley, started out IL years ago without dollar
and in that time has built and equipped 400
miles of railroad, and, without freezing out
stockholder or cheating anyone out of penny,
now controls it. and is worth 81 900 if he's
worth nickel. How did he do itf BE cannot
speak without suffering.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-10-09

pus. 1t is just announced that the san
guine Cooper, after being firmly elected
from tine State Chairmanship last year, is
now to take charge of the campaign work,
''in conjunction" as the organs put it, with
Chairman Andrews. This entente cordiale
between the fery-locked Field Marshal of
other days, and the man for whose advance
ment he was turned down. is beautiful
thing to contemplate; but does any
one imagine that it will sur
yive the chucking of bone
of contention like this in its midst? Will
not the hopeful disposition of Cooper clearly
recognize that when it comes to making
Congressional nomination, the man who
bears the heat and burden of fray is en-
titled to that choice bit of patronage. On
the other hand is Mr.. Andrews likely to let
a morsel like naming a Congressman slip
between his fingers?
Decidedly, the new plan will not do
Even if the conferees thought it worth while
to make the experiment, they should have
had discretion enough to wait until some
year when it was necessary for the Republl-
can cause to have two State chalrmen.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-10-09
MIR. WATRES PREMoNITIoN,

We are informed that the audience laughed
and his associates on the stage were amazed
when Senator Watres, candidate for Lieu
tenant Governor, began his speech at Wash
ington on Tuesday night with this: Fellow
Republicans: We are on the eve of another
great contest like the contest of 1881
mean 'S8; I mean 49," The audience
should not have laughed. 1t was unkind.
The eminently respectable candidate occupy
ing the second place on the Republican
ticket seems to have nearly hit the truth.
Nobody has had better opportunity to
realize the similarity of the campaigns of
1882 and 1890 than Mr.. Watres. He has
accompanied Mr.. Delamater on his tour
through the State, and his observation crys-
talized in the remarkable confession to the
Washington Republicans. The latter
should have refrained from mirth, for there
was something sad in the incident, although
the rest of the candidates behind Mr.. Watres,
in their amazement probably failed to note
it. The shadow of November appears to have
fallen upon Mr.. Watres already, and the dis
piriting likeness of the present to the fall of
1882 is likely to become more apparent to
him as the final hour approaches.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-10-09
CANAL ROUTES SURVEYED.

The surveys for the Pennsylvania ship
canal are now complete. thanks to the skill
and energy of the Commission. A report
favorable to the project may be looked for
all in due season. The commissioners are iu-
clined to prefer the Beaver Valley route,
and some of their reasons for so doing may
be found in another column. a notice
able feature in the Beaver Valley
canals favor is that it can
be completed with only forty-nine
locks, third of the number required in the
case of the old Erie canal. The appropria-
ton for the Ohio river dam at Beaver under
the river and harbors act will have
tendency to promote the construction OF the
connecting canal with Lake Erie. Those
who favor the French creek route will find
comfort in Colonel Roberts prediction that
the building of the Beaver Valley canal
will be attended by such immense benefits
to commerce that the French creek water
way will be imperatively demanded by the
people.