Morning journal and courier., 1890-05-17
HIGH.

"John was great smoker when he was alive," said tue widow, who was in remi- niscent mood. "And," she added, 'maybe he is yet."-Washington Post.
 Bacon-"The doctor said you had very high fever last week." Egbert-"I guess he was right. I notice by his bill his charge was $25."-Yonker's Statesman.
 Young Brindle-"Pa. can't have a flannel shirt like youraa" Mir. Brindle (speaking from after it's washed. d."-Lippincott's A Man of Letters. s.-s'What are you doing nowa" asked one youth of another. s'I write for a living" "What do you writes' "Let- ters to father. r."-Washingto Post. Customer-"Is it customary to fee the waiter herei" Waiter-"Yes sir." Gus tomer-''Then hand over the fee. I've waited for you nearly an hour. ur."-Racket. Prisoner-"Yes, your honor, it is true that was intoxicated last night. but I can ex- plain all if your honor will give me little time." His Honor-"Ten days."-Puck.
 "Well, how are you this morninga" asked the eight-aay clock. tT am all run down" answered the clock. "It is a trouble which always affects me in the spring. ."-Terre Haute Express.
 He Remembered.- George. what did you learn in school to-dayg" "I-learn- ed-that-well, I learned that three apples | plus six pears equals nine oranges. liar per's Young People.
 At the Party.-"Hans, put down that cake at once; have you no manners" Don't speak so loud, papa; you ought to be glad that no one saw how badly have beer brought up."-Fliegende, Blatter. Something to Get Rid of-Msjor Blowitz I-"The fellow tried to steal my reputation. Colonel Bluntly-"You have lost the oppor' | k,lN IT hax1e donsa" 'iLet him have t."-Chicago Times,
 "I allow that you don't have to wait at long here as in the other restaurants, but or large" "Yes, but you know he who givei promptly gives doubly. ."-Fliegende Blatter
 "Did you hear of Travers' marvellous es capes Someone shot him right over tn. heart, but the ball didn't penetrate througl his breast pocket" "Saved by the usus pack of cards, I suppose" "No. Bills."- Clothier and Furnisher.
 "Ahl" says a sympathetic friend, "yo1 should go to dentist immediately and hay
 that tooth pulled out" II know ought the @ doe sae faSs Soser aSon that. The dentist will find the nerve."-
 Louisville Post.
 Mrs. Brown-"Johnnie broke pane o glass, but as he told me about 1t at once
 gave him an apple" Mrs. Cobwigger-"Tha
 will teach him great lesson" Mrs. Brow -"I'm afraid not. As soon as he had cate
 the apple he went out and broke anothe
 window. ."-The Epoch.
 Foreman (wbistling down the tube to tn
 editor)--"One of these articles must be lief out. There isn't room for both." Editor
 "What are they!' Foreman-"Es Esrthquak
 in Europe, fifty lives lost, and a piece abou
 selling more papers in Quohosh than all th
 other dailies combined" Editor-"Leav
 out the earthquake. "-Munsey's Weekly. Theatrical Matters in Chicago. - Mrs Porker-"Whst is going to bs played at tn |. opera house tonight" Mrs. Wildwest-"l l Is not decided yet" "How is thatp "All know about it is what I read in the paper It says they are going to play Othello, or tn Moor of Venice. but 1t didn't say which For my part I'd just as lief see one as tn
 other." "So would I."-Texas Siftings.