Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1890-09-18
WIT AND IIUMOR.


such foolish squabble'-BuBalo En-
press.
There are two sides to every question
the wrong side and our sde.-Itrre
Haute Express
The general run of women--when
mouse comes in the room. - 1errt
Hdute Express.
Dubbs-"rm tired of Life" Snuggs
well, why don't YOU stop your sub
scription. "-Jester.
How can get rid of superhuous
hair, NJ. Druggist?' Get married,
sir. ;" boston Courier.
A MN never becomes so home'y that
he is not handsome TO the woman he Is
good o.-AtchiS0n Globe.
A mans closest creditor wouldn't
recognize him in the average hired
bathing suit.-Shoe Kec0rder.
1t is well to make the best Of this
world, for you'll never get out OF it
alive.-Grea5 harrington News.
There are times when young man
can make himself most interesting 10y
keeping still.-NeO Orleans Plcayuae.
The first week chat man has
telephone in his Office he is apt to nave
the yeler fever badly.-Boston Bulletin.
Truth lies at the bottom of an ink
well. This explains why the post
scripts contain all the facrs. american
Grocer.
Stranger Gin Tombstone, Ariz. ID
hear your bank has suspendedP' Res
ident-"Yes; SO is the President. -
Racket.
Bangle-"Isnt Fangle rattle-head-
ed fellow" Cumso-"No, sir; there
isn't anything in Fangle's head to rat
tie. "-Lye.
The rhetoric of convicts is abomin-
able; at all events they have great
aversion to finishing their sentences
PhtIadetphia Press.
What will it Costa Rica vengeance
on San SALVADOR" Il don't know. but
we've Guatemala. no matter what il
costs. '--AShidnd Press.
Some men credit themselves with the
good that Is in them and blame the
weakness OF humanity for their short
omings GlObe.
Mrs. Fellows impson's wife has
only one dress to her back Mr. Eel
lows-"Ah. and she left that at home
this evening. ~ Y. HeraiG.
Citizen (agitatedly)-"What, a writ
for meP Why God bless usln Consta-
30 (stolidly)-"Nop. Wrong again
Mandamus. "-American Grocer.
Lovers are slow about proposing this
summer. Owing to the high price e
the commodity they hesitate about
breaking the ice.-IeraS SJttngs.
First Hate-"Well. sir. things are
going smoothly now, sir" Captain
Yes, that is because several of the
sailors have been ironed. - Toronto
Gi0be.
Cumso - "Jaysmith is penurious
isn't hep" Fauge-'I should say he
was! He won't even laugh at Joke
unless it is at some one elses expense"
-Ep0ch
1t has been discovered that the cash
boys were very lazy in the days of Job,
Tor he says. "All the day of my appoint
ed time will wait till my change
comes. ~ Figaro.
Groom-"A ring around the moon is
.he Sign of rain Bride (sweetly)-
"And a ring around woman's iingoc
|, the slgn DIP Groom (sadly)-
Reign. "-Racbet,
Give me tOboggan." he said to
the barman. What do you meanP"
why. Whisky,o course. There's moth
fng like it when mans going down
hill to make the descent lively. "-Phi-
adeiphSa Times.
1t is dreary waste of sand, isn't
itP' said the grocer's wife as she and
her husband were walking along the
sea beach. Yes, it is; dreadful waste;
with sugar at eight cents a pound."--
washington Post.
He-"Mau is the only animal that
aughs, but it isn't necessary for Won to
laugh all the time" She-"Man is
also the only animal that smiles, but it
isn't necessary for You to smile as often
as YOU do. -BOStOHiun.
Mrs. Sweet (who has her neighbor's
children in to spend the day)-"And
so your mother is all alone! Dear me-
how She must he enjoying the quiet!
(Aside)-l will send my children over
there tomorrow NaHseys WcckB
photographer (to lady before the
nmcra) -- Look pleasant, please"
Bru Of n Hu>hand-"O come, now;
art is all right in its place; why not
have a likeness look natural, if it's 90
ing to be likenesspH -BoS;2n Irous-
script
Il see 10y the newspapers remarked
Mrs. Bunting, that " petrilicd jaw
two feet long has been found in Cali
fornia,' Why you never told me
that your ancestors came from that
part of the country" replied her hus-
band Figure.
Get up!" exclaimed Miss Bunker
Hills cousin. But the horse did not
move. The animal does not seem to
comprehend" said Miss Hill. Let
me try "All right" Proceed.
BucephaluSW And the animal proceed
ed.-HWpcy'S Ba:dr.