Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-09-20

horse the other day. 1t was a case of beauty
and the beast It's better to be kissed by a
noble equine than two-legged jackass. girls.
AN actress has been photographed in coffin.
They are usually photographed with nothing
around them to speak of.
WoULD-BE finauciers talk loosely about the
tightness Of the money market.
MAKE Mother Earth the storage battery for
all the deadly currents overhead Ground the
wires and let US see the sky without looking
through network of death-dealing lines.
WHEN the leaves begin to turn the out-of-
towns follow their example.
BOYS will be boys until they are taught bet
ter.
POLICEMEN will make recount in New
York. As many of them see donble most of
the time, the figures will undoubtedly overtop
Porter's footings.
MAUD HEN, the third victim of fathers
deed of blood. died yesterday. 1t is hardly
necessary to state that it was heinous crime
NJ. GoMPERs has a very level head. He says
it takes dollars to carry on strikes nowadays.
Wind and empty envelopes on pay day cannot
win against well-fed, well-guarded gangs and
the dollars of the masters.
Mr.. MILLER, nominated for Governor by
the Prohibitionists, declines to hold the noz-
zle OF the cold water hose. He prefers to stick
to the Standard pipe line.
LOOK at your rare old coins. The Kanuck
conIackers have been fooling thee.
WHERE was Pittsburg when the shots were
fired at the armor plates on the Annapolis test
ing grounds day before yesterday? Gird on
your armor, ye steel makers. Don't let foreign
ers steal a march on you.
STABLE stars are found in the heavens as
well as in the paddocks at the race courses.
POLISHED shirt fronts do not indicate the
polished gentleman.
TOBY or not toby is the soliloquy of the man
who is on the ragged edge about quitting the
use of Pittsburg's favorite brand.
AFTER Delamater sizes up the lay of the
land more fully he may change his mind and
write a letter of declination.
tick shortens the game.
IT is about settled that King Bob Kennedy
will never do it again.
THE lazy fellows who prefer begging to work.
ing are called "macers." They should be
dubbed or put in a chain gang.
THE poor lads driven crazy by cigarettes do
not have very far to go. They never will be
missed.
If Speaker Reed had lost his head and hurled
his gavel at Kilgore during the door-kicking
scene it would have added more spice to Thurs
days House proceedings.
THE wrecks thrown up on the pavements by
politics about equal the ruins found in the gut
ters through rum.
WHEN horses say neigh they don't mean it.
THE suggestion made by THE DISPATCH
several months ago that the granting of liquor
licenses be relegated to a commission is Sec
onded in Philadelphia. Keep the ball rolling,
brothers. After the Judges are relieved of this
class of work transfer the clothesline and bat
terry litigation to the magistrates and aud to |
should not be asked to trail her skirts in the |
mire.
STRAW hats at this season of the year tell the |
condition of the wearer's pocketbook.
WHEN the mind manders 1t can be brought |
back by happy thought.
THE baseball with whiskers on it will soon |
have TO be measured for an overcoat,
If Congress adjourns before Thanksgiving |
the nation should offer up most fervent |
prayers.
DON'T forget the spike which shall nail the |
first campaign lie, gentlemen. Clinch it with
the tack of truth.
BRAINY men relish noodle soup.
If the modern girl would devote some of her |
spare moments to the study of dressmaking,
she would be surprised at the low cost of her
attire. Every mothers daughter could dress
well and cheaply If she cultivated the sewing
art. It's needless to say more on this point.
THE ambitious New York mother who re-
fused to permit her daughter to marry the |
poor man of her choice, will not find much con-
ISOLATION in the bulletperced corpse of her
child.
THE public can easily see through the win
dow-glass combine.
SOCIETY women like new wrinkles in dress,
but not in the face.
A GREEN baize door locked in the face of a
Texas steer acts the same as a red rag Haunted
under the nose OF a bull. 1t maddens them.
Speaker Reed should try barbed wire bars in
the House. Kilgore could kick against the
pricks then to his hearts content.
IT costs money to give theater party.
turn Of die.
spEcULAroRs who corner food should be
starved out.
SEPTEMBER took a fresh start yesterday.
Even dyspeptics relished their meals and
urowlers smiled. Wonderful what effect
bright cool day has on the race. When nature
IS benign humanity seems happier, even if it
sn't.
THE light of Republic ,nism is ourshining the
glitter of the throne-room In Portugal The
people are firing of their toys.
DON'T count the potatoes in hill until you
uncover them. WILLIE WINKLE.