The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1890-12-25
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.


You do not always ge: returns frsu
your wisdom. but you always get big 70
turns from your follies, = Atchisou
Globe. -.
1T is all right for girl to look into
the future, but it is not becoming for
her to look forward. - Yonkers States
man.
1T is not until you have walked into
puddle that you can see the different
paths that would have led you safely
around it.
Still Youths Won't Take Warning.
Before marriage - ''Why so pensive,
dearest?' After marriage - 'Why 80
expensive, Mrs. Jones?''
Rose De Mascus-'Once and for all,
l must be plain with YOU" Maud
St. Agedore-"Yes, l know you must;
you could not change your looks If you
wanted st. Joseph News.
-"Miss Stuckuppe has some very rare
flowers in her conservatory. That is
her hobby" Him! Any one could tell
that she was haughtyculturist from
her manner!'-Boston Traveller.
"A Tempter of Providence Elbow is
it he can't got his life insured?' Hes
poet in the spring, gentleman jockey
in the summer, football player in the
fall and tobogganist in the winter
N. Y. Tribune.
Fashions of 1890. -Teacher-'Cor-
rect. Woman is in the feminine gender.
Now the sentence speaks of young
woman in fashionable attire. What
gender is attire?" Bright Boy-"Mas-
line."-Good News.
-She-"Every woman is more or less
of mind-reader." He-"Do you think
not. Mamma is little particular as to
the character of my eading."-Indian-
apolis Journal.
~ was so gratified. Miss JONES'"
said the young playwright, Ito see that
my work moved you to tears last night. :"
"Yes, Mr.. Bronson" said the young
woman, with sigh; Il was so sorry for
you."-Harpers Bazaar
-Temperate-"Psh Talk about
you swearing off! l don't believe you
could do it to save your life" Fuller
sis that so? That's all you know about
it! I swore off Ave times last week!"-
Boston Traveller.
johnson -"Does your amateur dra-
matte company seem to be developing
any histrionic talent?" Thompson
20, yes The leading lady, her under
study and one of the soubrettes have
applied for divorces already. "-1ndian-
apolis Journal.
Assurance Doubly Sure. -He-''You
remember you said last night that you
would be a sister to me all my life?''
Shelves, I did" He-"Well, l pro-
posed to your sister Kate this afternoon,
and Judging by what she said. rather
think you will. '-Somerville Journal.
Gifted. $50 your son won't work, :"
said one Congressman to another. mo, :"
was the reply. 1--WE tried to persuade
him to employ himself at something.
but he won't do it, "May be he is
what they call gifted" Il should say
he was I've given him every thing no
has, and more too. "-Washington Post.
Art vs. Nature.-''O, what is that,
dear mother?' THAT is a rose, my
child" 'But what, dear mother, is
that next to the rose?' "A sunfower,
darling" but, oh. what is that grow
ing next to the sunnower?" ''That is q
pond lily" but, oh, dear mother, they
are growing out of the same vine?'
THAT is the way they grow, my child,
on lambrequins. ~ pholsterer.
Ills Mother-''Waldo, why are You
so extraordinarily studious lately?"
Waldo Beaconwealth (of Boston, aged
two and half years)-'I have noticed
that recently vacated college presi-
denotes have been filled by comparative
| ly gerry young men, and in view of some
immediate vacancies of the same ma
ture, have deemed it prudent to be as
thoroughly prepared as possible.
Harper's BaZar.