Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1890-02-22
Saturday Smiles.

The sentences of many of our legislators ar
like some geological epochs-dreary wastes
from period to period.-Phladelpai Press
Fashion plates show that short sleeves are of
recent origin. A sort of nude departure, as it
were.-Floridd Times Union.
'Times are hard" remarked Noah, as he
gazed from the starboard side of the ark into
the extemporized sea- "Even the water comes
high. but We must have it"-Pkiiddetpla!a
Press.
A master once asked an old servant of his
who was much given to boasting: why are
you such bragg" The old colored man re-
plied II cannot tell, boss, 'cepts it be that
belong to the biggest family in de state."-
Richmond Religious Herald.
blow from drunken man might be called
whisky punch.-B'nghdnaton Republican.
Book Agent-"Sir, have here a book"
Intended Victim-"Sir, / have here a gun. "
exit book agent. )-Chicago Journal
To Inquirer-"You ask what the initial C..
before Mr.. Depew's name stands for. 1t used
to be understood that it stood for Chauncey,
but now they say it stands for Columbus ~
Neto York Tribune
"M-m-y d-d-dear, ll-love you'll w-w-will
you be" began Mr.. NJ. Pediment. "That will
do" replied the proud beauty. II do not care
to be wooed on the installment lan."-Har-
per's Boar.
An old lady who witnessed q production Of
"The Merchant Of Venice many years ago
went again recently to see the story of Shylock
enacted upon the stage. Upon her return
home she was asked how she liked it. "Waal, /"
said she, ''Venice seemed to have been spruced
up some since the first time saw it, but Shy
lock- just the same mean, ordinary thing he
Mdrch
Hibernian nurse-"Arrah, wake up, wake up"
Hospital patient (drowsily)-'What is it?'
Hibernian nurse-"It's time for your shaping
medicinal air IL ia '-Raskon R,fd1.f
Do not forget to buy camphor for your dress
| suit and sackcloth for your shoulders, that both
may be ready for use by Wednesday.-Detroit
| Free Press.
Silence is golden; but il is the other fellows
| silence that is meant-Boston Transcript
cold is q good deal like a horse car. A
| man can always catch one when he doesnt
want it-Yosksrs Salesman
II love is blind there Is no use wasting gas on
! it-Ronle Sentinel
"eiys me the brave sscisimsa she to her lover.
he took her ct her word-the trade was duly made
Date nxed ri&ht then and there
| Chicago Globe
"Light at lastI" was what the husband said
| when his young wife finally learned to make
| pies that he could est-Boston Gazette.
Newspaper paragraph says: "a late census
| of France embraced 1000 900 women. Happy
Census!"-Sonaeruik Journal
Neighbour hear your master has married
| again ana ID taxing Q Orloal tour"
Daddy Mose-"Don' know bout him takin'
Q bride TO dis 'un, boss; but he did tex paddle
to his fust wife, shure. "-Tsras S.frangs.
Father Locke-'My son, what rank do you
| take in college?"
Yale Locke (proudly) Third in the batting
average and first in fielding. "-NgJord Nescs
and Advertiser.
! Mis-: Priscilla (ased forty(-'No. Edith,
aont believe in these early marriages. You'll
nave time enough to get sick Of Q man II you
stay single for ten years longer"
Edith-''Time enough, suntis, but maybe no
| chancs."-G r Ssn.