davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-04-18
The Minister Got Mixed.

A South Boston paper narrated the
following incident which came under
his observation in st. John, n. B. Two
people in middle life sought out an
aged and well-known clergyman to tie
the connubial knot. His advanced
years had brought him a %treacherous
memory, aud, with this uncertain guam
tity to deal with, he began the ceremo-
ny. There were luckily no witnesses
to the amusing scene but the clergy
mans daughter-in-law and grandson.
The preliminaries over, the ring was
asked for. The groom was exceedingly
nervous and could not find it. He
searched in all his pockets, shook his
sleeve, ran his hand down the side OF
his right leg in fear Of a hole in his
pantaloons pocket, felt of his sock. and
repeated the process, increasing inlnerv-
BUSINESS as he certainly did i'll blushing
and awkwarlness. Finally, the old
gentleman sat down, while both wit
nesses assisted the partially married
couple to find the missing symbol OF
their union. Down on their knees they
got, and turned up the corner of the
rug, and peered under the sofa, and al
together made a most ludicrous sight.
Meantime the clergyman's mnemonic
faculty failed him. He forgot where
lie was, and could not be made to I'M
derstand the mission of the strange lady
and gentleman. 1t ought to be added
that he also was very deaf. Fearing
complications, his daughter-in-law sent
the. grandson for the regular minister
of the parish. At last the ring was
found in an obscure corner, whittier it
had rolled, and the parties to the sus-
pended contract tried to look resigned
under the a%ggravating circumstances.
The ministerial gentleman walked out
of his reverie and said to the lady Of the
house:
"Who is this coupler?
The answer was almost a shout. after
which he subsidized a moment, and then
continued:
How long have you been married?"
They really didn't know how much
they were married, but stammered out
q reply that was completely lost on him,
for in a minute or so he capped the
conversation by inquiring:
How many children have you got?"
This was too much, and would have
convulsed the suffering victims had not
the regular minister arrived and COM
pleted the services. -Boston Herald.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-04-18
Living in Washington.

Barrels of terrapin at $25 per dozen,
crates of canvasback ducks at Sc per
pair, thousands Of ices at ST. per plate,
these are some of the ~extravagances
that are slipping down some Of the
Threats OF the capitals visiting popula-
ton this season, says the Cleveland
Leader. Then the flowers. Who can
compute the gold that has gone up in
the odor of orchids at 81 apiece. roses
at $40 per dozen. white lilacs at 5Ocents
a spike, and lilies of the valley at 10
cents a stem. On the altar of New
Year week $40, 600 worth of blossoms
We're sacrificed, for during that time
Roswell 2. Flower put S., 1000 into the
flowers OF his only daughters wedding.
The fruits we use are also costing gold
galore. Twice in the social history of
the capital opulent hosts have ioa.ed
strawberries in their white wine when
1T cost 70 cents apiece to bring each
berry from California to Washington.
Ex-senator Palmer. our present Min
ls,er to Spain, treated his guests to such
a laXury last year, and this winter these
tWenty-hve-cent strawberries rolled over
the palates and through the larynxes of
Senator Stanford's guests when he dined
Mrs. Gen. Grant. From all accounts
that dinner Of Senator Stanford:s to
Mrs. Grant was one to make your eyes
bulge out and your month to water.
There We're only eighteen, guests and
they ate from plates Of gold and silver.
The queen of plenty" had scattered
roses all over the table, and under each
DIT OF crystal there was a napkin of
point duchess lace, while the long table
cover had a border of the same price
less web. Instead Of linen, the finger
bowls rested on napery OF lace, and the
lordly terrapln va served in individual
SILVER tureens. Every piece was of the
same costly nature. and the e%picures Of
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-04-18
Joe Was His Wife.

Henry Won ~Schoonhoven has been
running a dairy here, says an Adams
burg (Pa.) letter to tie New York
San, but he has quit the business now
as well as his home. He was a Wild
over with three children. aged IA, 1G,
and Is years. The two latter are girls
and the youngest a boy. With him re-
sided his former wife's mother. Six
months ago Henry came home from
Pittsburgh accompanied by a tine-look-
ing boy whom he introduced to his fam
lily as the son OF a deceased friend. The
lads name, he said, was Joe Lang. The
mother-in-law did not take kindly to
the city youth, and the children, too,
seemed dissatisfied. Joe, however,
500 won the affection of the whole
family. In Jeanette, a neighboring
village, the young ladies fell in love
with him, and his trunkful of letters
tell how he won their hearts. His
presence was demanded at every social
gathering, and Joe Lang was sought af-
ter by many Of the young girls. He
was a dear boy to Won Schoonhoven,
for whom he did all the odd jobs
around the place. Joe and Henry were
much of the time together, which dis
pleased the mother-in-law. and on more
than n occasion Henry was repri-
manded by her for showing too much
partiality toward the son of his
deceased friend and neglecting his own
children. Henry would always pacify
the old lady, but when recently she
saw that a garment of Lang's was such
as is not worn by a boy the old lady
was terribly angered.
Subsequent events justified her sus-
picions, and when she uporaided Henry
for harboring a female he wilted, and
confessed that Joe Lang was a woman,
and that they were married in Allie
gheny City On the day Oh which he
brought the boy home. There was ?
scene, aud the mother-in-law was rag.
ing mad. Henry and his wife remained
another day in the Voon ~Schoonhoven
domicile, but on the following night
they!disappeared. The morning after
the old lady received q letter from
Henry saying that he had taken $500.
and that he and his wife were on their
way West.
Won Schoonhoven is about 50 wears
of age and his bride is not much more
than Is. Her name was Fanny Smith.
and her parents reside in Pittsburgh.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-04-18

MISS MARTHA CoYLE, of Sharon,
Pa, stopped the runaway horse of
David san]ey, father OF the evangelist,
and ROW M into court at New Castle
with a judgment note for $40, 600, which
she says Nh. Sankey gave her as a re-
ward for risking her life to save his
own. David Sankey has been dead for
five years, and his family say this is the
first they ever knew Of the existence
OF such q note.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-04-18

WHEN asked why drunken men so
often escape injury by accident, a ply
sician said that it was due to a lack of
interest in their fate. In falling the
body is limp and lifeless, while that Of
a sober man would probably be very
nearly rigid. In case of the latter a
blow upon any part of the body would
be followed by an instantaneous con-
traction Of the muscles, having, per-
haps, nearly as much force as the blow
itself. 1t vas stated by the physician
that often the sudden and violent con-
traction of the muscles caused by a
blow, furnished nearly half the force
exerted to produce the fracture of a
bone. A drunken mans muscles. it
was explained, would not respond in a
similar way to the shock of a blow,
and he would naturally escap that
element OF danger.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-04-18

SOME figures in the current number
of the Century Magazine as to the cost
OF gas in Glasgow give an interesting
notion of the cheapness that can be
brought about in that commodity by
increased consumption. The quantity
of Illuminating gas sold in Glasgow in
1s69-70 was 1,O26, OO0, 600 feet and the
price was $1.14 per 1000. In 1SS7-ss
the amount sold was 9, 427, OO0, 900 feet,
an increase of 40 per cent, while the
population had only increased 90 per
cent. The increase is explained by
the fact that the price was reduced in
the last named year to 66 cents per
1000. The gas companies in this
country might learn something from
this if they would.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-04-18

GEN. SHERMAN is an original. He
SAID to a friend Of urs the other day
vino was talking to him about the de-
lay in putting up the Grant monument.
"1ha. won't happen to me I've bought
my own monument and paid a thou
sand dollars for it. The minute I'm
buried it will be clapped on over me
and that will end the matter. T won't
have any damn nonsense with NV
monument" concluded the rugged
hero, and We fancy there won't be any
either.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-04-18

ESGl1sHMEN are beginning to learn
that the slick Canadian will bear
watching even more than the cute YAM
kee, Of whom they have heard SO much
that is bad. ut is a pity" says the
Toronto Mail, "that steps were not
taken long ago to afford young English.
men protection from the persons who
advertise that they are prepared for a
consideration to teach the Canadian
method of farming or TO provide OPP
portunities for emigrants in the colo,
MES No doubt there are some honest
persons in that line of business. but
every Canadian knows that as a rnle
the business is a fraudulent one, either
directly or Indirectly"
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-04-18

WHAT is known as Leghorn straw is
raised on the hills which rise on each
side of the rivers Pisa and Elsa, south
OF Florence, Italy. It's a%daptability to
the uses to which it is destined de-
ponds principally on the soil on which
it is sown, which soil, to all appear
ances, exists only in this small dis
trict, out of the bounds of which the
industry is unknown. Any variety of
wheat which has a hollow, flexible
stem "a be used for seed. The soil
must be titled and prepared very much
as it is for corn, but the seed is sown
five times as thick as is usual for other
purposes: this is done in the mouths of
December OF February. When the
straw is full grown, and before the
grain begins to form itself in the ear.
it is uprooted and firmly tied in
sheaves the size of a handful. Each
sheaf or menata, as it is called. is
spread out in the shape of a fan to
dry in the sun for three days, after
which it is slowed away in the barns.
The harvest being over and the fields
empty, it is again spread out to catch
the heavy summer dews and to bleach
in the sun, during which process it is
carefully turned until all sides are
equally white.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-04-18
Horace Greeley's Fayorite

Hall. the chief messenger at.
Custom House, cultivated his !
manner when he was the head wall
the Aston House. He ushers into
lector Erhardt's presence nearly !
day men who are known throughol|
country. But nothing pleases limI
than to recall the days when he 81
Horace Greeley, who dined for veaI
the Aston House. Dinner there att
time was served on the American !
and was from II m. until 8 D.. MI
used to carve" said Hall, "and wi
had reached the twentv-fourth
twenty-tifth cut in a rib Of roast bd
knew that it was time for Nh. Gre
to ONE in. He liked the twenty-fo
or twenty-tifth cut, because, | suppl
the meat in that part OF the roast
done exactly to suit his taste. VIII
had got to Mr.. Greelev's cut, l nsa
run my knife around the rim \
and remove all the overdone edge
fat, which he did not like. We lied
up the plate with potatoes, green
and beans-Mr. Greeley was a 8
hand for green peas-and sent til
him.
Nh. Greeley generally stoppelt|
few minutes in the office to chat
people there. before sitting down to
ner. But at the table he talked
little. He was not a great eater, ID
always wanted plenty Of food. n
knew him to send his plate out Y
for beef, although 1 have known big
call for a second helping OF veg
bies. He was always good to tbe1
ers and walters, often stopping to 1
with them. And he always tippe!
too."-NeW York Tribune.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-04-18
Hopelessly %Absent.M;no,,,

The freaks of absent-minaos
are often amusing to hear ae NJ
great is the Inconvenience VII w. O
cause to their perpetrators an n1leI
friends that one never hear uo 10
without the feeling that absan. q
ness is to be stunned as a. d;uelas
fought against in every possila ase
An amusing instance Of the nl;s
which the absen:-minded man r'lgls
|'trive to get himself occurred - may
dination in Maine not long s;n a. az
a number of clergymen were asN.
ordain one of their brethren oA'Nea
The place was a country ,o,.
the visitors, instead of being o 0H.
at hotels, were distributed am Iasf1
society at whose church the nraa
was to take place. ''ull1
Doctor Blank, who was to n,,..
sermon, stayed with an old de rsss1
as it CHANGED, was quartered in
upon the door of which was /
lock. y
Just as the moment came for J.,
to church, Doctor Blank annos ~
the parlor where the family wera
ing, and announced that when ~
come ont of his room he had to W.
to put the catch on the lock down
had left on the table within not or;.
key, but the sermon he was sha!
deliver. aug
For an instant there was cor,
CONSERVATION, but fortunately n.y.
of the family recollected that tb 'ns
a duplicate key, which was nro1'
and the doctor went placidly ny
after the manuscript. =
Three minutes later he reanr.
with an expression OF mingled
triton and despair upvn his face
explained that when he got to his
he could not remember what bs
come for, and that laying down the
he had started to ask, and had
brought to his senses when tho
once more swung to behind him.
he realized that it had again sbn.;
sermon.
There was no locksmith within
and it would have been a desperat
for the doctor had not the son
more come to the rescue by proe
a ladder, and climbing in at the ";
of the chamber.
He took the double precautioa .
ing from the table his own KEY. a
setting the door open with a
against it, and the clergyman who
profuse in his thanks, once more
upstair to get his sermon.
When he came down, the
started for church, and Just as
reached it the hostess remarked,
smile, that the congregation
never know how near they came.
ing no sermon. At the words a 5
paleness came over the face OF
Blank.
Il have left it. at home after all
gasped, holding out the key to lis
Il took the kew instead"
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-04-18

BURIAL reform in England contem-
plates the prohibition of leaden and
other solidly constructed %cofins, the
effect Of which is thought to retard
complete decomposition, and SO pro-
long the period during which the dead
are not only esthetically Objectionable,
but are an indisputable source of dan
ger to the living. 1t is proposed to
Use w~icker-work or papier mache re-
~ceptacles.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-04-18
A Puzzle for Psychologists.

Water Superintendent Piers on
IN his Office one day last week. oI
after 10 o'clock he suddenly plaee0
hand on his side and exclaimed a..
there was a strange sensation, q az, W.,
IN the region of the heart. In a ,e'
ments a messenger came to ME- Il
told him that his father was -,
When he reached home his fatnt'
dead-of heart failure. The sels'
experienced by the son was idell ~:
point Of time with the heart pun
his fathers jllness.-CAtskM ha"
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-04-18

EZRA L. STEVENS, Of Washington, d.
c., who recently died at Asbury Park,
n. j.. was the chief clerk of the Indian
Department for nearly thirty years.
and was the originator OF the present
Indian school system. The pupils in
the Indian schools always called him
Father Stevens. He was one OF the
most prominent members of the Ma.
sonic order in the United States, and
had attained the thirty-tilird degree.
1t is said that he sat in Masonic lodges
with more Presidents of the United
States than any Mason now living. He
raised President Garfield to knight,
hood.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-04-18

THERE are, perhaps, comparatively
few persons aware of the fact that of
the entire coinage Of the United States
Philadelphia, as a city, and the Phila-
delphia Mint, as an institution. have
the honor Of producing above SO per
cent. The total silver coinage of the
United States for each month aggre-
gates nearly So, 500, Oo0, and Of this
amount Philadelphia produces 81, $780,
900.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-04-18

HOUSTON was beaten for the Senate
by Louis Wigfall, who cut such brill
liant yet inefficient figure at the out
break Of the war. Old Sam Houston
was asked what kind Of a person this
Mr.. Wigfall was who had succeeded to
his place. Houston said Gentlemen,
] know him we'll. He is the most elo-
quent, brilliant d-n fool in all
Teyas.a
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-04-18

DAVID HENsHAw was deemed a very
apdacious mar in 1880 when he offered
at the polls the first printed ballot
nsed in Massachusetts,. Previous to
that time all ballots were written by
hand, and the Supreme Court had to
act on the question before the change
was accepted as legal.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-04-18
Why 1t Comes High

Patient (who has just had his eve
operated upon)-Doctor, it seems to me-
s5o Is a nigh price to charge for that
JOB, 1t didn't take you ten seconds
Eminent Oculist-My dear friend IN
learning to perform this opera,ion IN
ten seconds l have spoiled more tban
two bushels of such eyes as yours 'DAn
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-04-18

M. DE FREYc1NET, the French Min
lister of War, has published a decree
forbidding surgeons in the French
army to make use of hypnotism in
their practice, or to experiment with it.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-04-18

one end OF which he inserts into 6
crack in the dock. After batting his
line and throwing it overheard, he
fastens it to the hoop, puts his hands
in his pockets, and awaits develop
ments. AS soon as the bell is jlngled
by a jerk on the line, he hauls it in and
lands the fish.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-04-18

1T was an ingenious boy who ex-
planned his muddy clothes by saying he
a been trying to put a potato patch
on the seat of his trousers-BD1oHamu.
ton Republican.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-04-18

Mrs. CAROLINE DONOVAN. who has
given 100000 to Johns Hopkins Uni
versity and made many other impor-
tant public requests, was such an adj
mirer of General r. z. Lee that at the
time of his death she was just ON the
point Of giving him 500, 600.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-04-18

JOHN JACOB Aston owned ., 700 high
class dwelling-houses, rented at an
average Of $500 a year each. He
owned, besides, tenement houses in I'M
told numbers, and 10 end of real estate
devoted to business Uses.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-04-18

PORE LEO uses a gold pen for his
correspondence, but his signatures are
always attached with a quill from the
wing Of a dove or stormy petrol, opin-
ion is divided as to which. This pen
has been in use by the Pope for forty
years, and is kept by him in a case of
ivory.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-04-18

A LAZY fisherman dwells in Bangor.
Me. He has contrived a plan by
means Of which a man can catch a fish
without fishing He attaches a small
sleighbell to a piece of barrel hoop,
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-04-18

Roscoe CoNKL1NG once said that if
Jay Gould had gone into politics he
would have become the master politi-
clan of this country.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-04-18

II came out in an English court a
few days ago that 100 WORKOUT horses
had just been shipped from that coun-
try to Germany and Belgium to be
used in the manufacture of sausage,
and that such shipments were a regu-
lar thine
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-04-18

A CURIOUS use has been found for
the photograph. 1t was produced at
the funeral of a clergyman in order
that a sermon of the deceased upon
himself might be heard by the mourn
orc
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-04-18

MRS. LOGAN is writing her reminis-
cences which will embody those of
General Logan.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-04-18

A PAPER in Canton estimates that
$4,000 people die in China every year
by fire and food.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-04-18

LOVERS who would avoid ouarre]s
should never stroll in cross roads
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-04-18

the capital describe the dinner as q
| gastronomic poem.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-09-28

u.,,;co courthouse, in the city Of Rich
meni,'o On Thursday, October 2, 1890, at II
mn,ooInct N. for the purpose OF considering
1 wbat action shall BIO taken in the ensuing
oaan y"n are respectfully requested to at
,.nd and to invite one or two Republicans
;r roo Cd standing in your precinct"
TO sPE,krs MAscHEsrER.
H., O. Caruth, member of Con-
,rnss from Kentucky, will address the
Memorials OF Manchester next Wednes-
d.v n;aht. He Is one of the leaders among
ths nsmocrats in the House, and doubt
t aSs viii have O largo crowd to hear him.
sroSEwALI CLUB.
Tho s,onewall Workingmen's Club Of
Monroe Ward met last night and elected
tbe following officers to serve tor one year /:
p t%o William Covers. First Vice
pres;dent' C. z. Knowles; Second Vice
president' Thomas Dolan; Secretary, J. T..
Gallaher, and Treasurer, q. L. Blanken-
ship. o,,,.;ors oo,ao
inc the action of Congress In unseating
Hon George ID. Wise also, condemning the
c I of Judge Waddill in voting for the
force bill and in aiding to seat Lansston.