The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1890-12-03
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Noah's arc-The rainbow.
Each addition to ones kindred is q
relative gain.
A fiery temper gives adverse criticism
a warm reception.
The cat has nine lives, and spends
them all in vocal culture.
One way Of getting along in this world
is to walk. Detroit Free Press.
There wasn't enough of the Swiss revo-
luton to go round. .--Pittsbaug Chronicle
Telegraph.
The crab may not be as good eating as
the lobster, but it does very well on
pinch. Elmird Gazette.
Ted-''I'm going to run him race
for Dolly's hand" Ned-"Then it will
be sack race for one of you. Tho
Weeks Sport.
She-"Why doesn't Mr.. Mullins g
out into society more9" He-"Because
society is always out itself when Mullins
begins calling"
"WeI," said the baseball captain,
sour cake is all dough2" "How do you
account for itG" "We haven't good
batter. "-NunSey's Weekly.
Fred-"What is the matterl You look
positively ILL.," Tom-"Negatively ill,
you mean, isn't it2 My best girl has
said no to me. ."-NuaseyS Weekly.
The oldest inhabitant is an interesting
parsonage; but he doesn't make half as
much noise in his immediate locality as
the youngest inhabitant does.-Part.
The man who thinks ne knows it
Upon his nose may take fall;
But ho who sometimes is in doubt
May find that weakness helps him out.
Puck.
Politeness generally pays. A gentle
man who gave up his seat to a lady on
an elevated train, afterward found out
that she had been robbed while occupy
ing it.-Puek
We are rather at loss to know why
sunlight is so often described as "gold-
en-" The "silver" moon is accounted
for by coming in quarters and halves
Berkshire Neins.
"How long has your daughter been
practicing on the piano2n "To be exact
she began one month before our neigh
Dor went crazy, and he's been in the
asylum year, ,"-Fi1aSo.
The Obliging Peddler--"Ifyo you don't
stop talking to me about your wares l
will whistle for my dog" ~ have some
most excellent whistles, sir; just try one
or these. "--FliegeRde Blaetter.
Landlady-"M McGinnis, may / ask
what you are trying to find in that cream
pitcher2" Boarder-'I am trying, Mrs.
Irons, to rescue an unfortunate fly from
watery grave. - Chicago Tribune.
Willie took his fathers razor and his shaving
cup
To shave himself last wesk;
The doctor charged fiver when he sewed tho
gashes up
In little Willie's cheek.
"Humph, remarked n young man,
''my cigar has gone out" "Weil, that
settles it, " replied his room mate. al
was wondering which Of Us it be,
myself or the cigar - Washington
Post.
Grocer What's that about The dozen
eggs you bought this morningf Brown
-"They were all bad except Que, and
I've called TO see how much extra l owe
you for the good one. "-Nso Yor5
San.
"This bell, " said well meaning sex
ton, when showing the beliry Of an in
teresting village church to party of
visitors, sis only rung in case Of visit
from the lord bishop OF the diocese, a
fire, a flood, or any other such calami-
ties. London FTgay0
Travers-"IIow much arc these
trousers" Tailor-"Tweuty dollars,
sir" Travers-''Apd you say you re-
quire a deposit from strangers Tailor
Yes, sir Travers (warmlD D-"Al-
ready feel myself growing intimnte
with you. '--Nelo Y0rt Sun.
Briggs-'I want 70 got some soilcd
neckties," Astonished ClerS-" "Soilod
neckties, sirl Soiled, did YOU say3"
Briggs-That's what When YOU call
upon a girl four times a week and she's
making a crazy quilt, you will ander-
stand that a man has got 10 buI neckties