The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1890-06-18
HUMOR OF THE DAY.


A safe acknowledging one.-La10-
renee american.
Stamp act-The act that wins applause.
--7era Sytings.
The man who offers an 1 o U is a
writer of PROMISE Washington Post.
Penny wise and pound foolish-The
man who won't take out license on his
dog.-Puck.
Popping the question is simply pre-
lm1nary to questioning the pop.-B'ng-
hamton Leader.
One of our society girls is going to
take her poodle to the laundry to have
his muzzlin' done.-Puck.
Can it be that the habit Of casting bread
upon the waters is what makes the dark
blue ocean roll2-SomerUille Journal.
When a young man loses his heart to
some Girl, he usually loses his nerve at
the same time.-T6rre Haute E.rpreSs.
Ethel Ito paterfamilias, who has just
said grace)-" 'S'cuse me, papa is 1t
gram'ical to say men?"-American Gro
Ger.
A correspondent wants to know what
kind of an animal a sun dog is! Well,
we should say, ''setter. "-Boston But
letm. -.=.s--
"Do you know the nature of an oath,
Nodame2n ~ think so. All my hus
bands oaths are very ill-natured."-
Puck.
Every one has mission: The mission
of the CRYING baby is to make old bach
elors and maids contente1
Globe.
jaw Gould began his business career
by cleaning out a brokers' Office SUD
sequcntly he cleaned out the broker
Chatter
Emmeline-"Don't you think young
he Jones is sweet?" Maude-"Suite9
WHY, of course-a perfect flat. "-AmerI-
can Grocer.
An exasperating coincidence-That
coal should always come down at the
same time the stove pipe does.-BurIin9
ton Free Press.
A man who hopes to make money out
of stone quarry need not be disap'
pointed if his hopes are blasted.-La0-
renee american.
Mrs. Youngwife-"Did you ever try
anv of my biscuits, Judge" Judge
"No, never did; butt dare say they
deserve it."-StdtesRaaH.
Don't be clam. If you've got to be
ANYTHING of the kind be a mud turtle
Then you may have some snap to you.-
Binghamton Republican.
She (at the piano)-"Listen! How dc
you enjoy this refrain" He-"Very
much. The more you refrain the better
l like it.n-MlSicaL Courier.
No matter how much girl may like
her name, she is always willing to con-
slider the possibility of changing it to her
advantage Journal.
There is no use of disputing the fact.
The man who does business on side
street does not do business on the square.
--Neao York Commercial AdDertiser.
please give me a copper, sirY
Was the beggar's pleading wall
But the copper came with club in hand
And marched him off TO Jail,
-TerGs Siftings.
"You are too hard on Mr.. Skinfint.
You should treat him with more Of the
milk of human kindness" "He'd churn
it into butter and sell it if l did. -
BiHghamtoa Republican.
There are many widows who'ye found
Their first experiment curst;
So married a second husband
To revenge themselves on their first
Judge.
Horsy Husband-'I have got a flyer
! now, Jane, that can beat anything about
here" Wife Gntent of spring cleaning)
,, -''Well, John, wish you would let him
beat the carpets; they need it awfully. -
Boston Bulletin.
Victim-'Hadn't you better try the
, crimping iron on piece of paper to see
. il it is not too hot" Barber-'Dont
+ need no paper. As soon as l smells your
a haIr burning | knows right off 1t is too
hot. - Times Democrat.
I ~ understand, sir, that you said was
a thief and a robber. | want an eXpla.
nationn Blobbs (suavelO you
| are entirely mistaken. What l said was
1 that you sold shoes so cheap that you are
- almost freebooter. - Light.
t His Worship-'I must really make an
,- example of you-you are here so often. y
IS Prisoner-''Don't be too ard on me,
}; guvnor; you amt 'ad any trouble with
It me for eighteen months. Why, | only
came out this mornin' F4aHy Folks.
N An Migrate Father-Milhonaire-"My My
If dear daughter, it seems TO me you ought
le to do something, and not always be read
IS ing novels Daughter-"Oh, nonsense,
t, papa; you ought to be satisfied, having
" a rich heiress for a daughter. - Times
" Democrat
r. Mrs. Gadabbout-'What sort Of
i, person is Mrs Mildman, who has moved
to into the next house TO youl" Mrs
I'd Chaifer-'I don't think much of her.
s. Between you and me l think she is next
i'll door to an IDIOT Mrs. Gadabout GnnO-
I'd cently)-'I think SO too, my dear. -
America,