davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-11-10
MARK TWAIN APPEALS.

He Objects to Horse Car Conductors Swear
ing Injudiciously and Indiscriminately.
From the New York SUM-
Doubtless you city people do not mind hav-
ing your feelings hurt and your self-love blist-
cred, for your horse car and elevated road SER
vice train you to patience ana humblelninded-
ness. but with us hayseed folk from the back
settlements the case is different. We are so
delicate, SO sensitive-well, you would never be
able to imagine what it is like An unknd
speech shrivels US all UP and often makes US
cry. Now, the thing which happened to-day a
New Yorker would not mind in the least; but
give you my word it almost made me want to
go away and be at rest in the cold grave.
stepped aboard red Sixth avenue horse
car-No. l0s-at Sixth avenue and Forty-sec-
ond street at 1lA5 this morning, bound down
town. Of course there was no seat-there
never is; New Yorkers do not req uire seat
but only permission to stand up, and look
meek, and be thankful for such little rags of
privilege as the good horse car company may
choose to allow them. I stood in the door, be-
ductor, desiring to pass through and see the
passengers, took me by the lapel and said to
rae, with that winning courtesy and pol1teness
which New Workers are accustomed to: -
=! what you want to load up the door for?
Git back here out OF the wayp' Those ladies
shrank together under the shock, Just the same
az ulu; SO judged tney were country people.
This conductor was person about 80 years old,
should say. 5 feet 8. with blue eyes, a small,
dim,. unsuccessful mustache, and the general
expression of chicken thief-you may proba-
bly, have seen him.
urged him to modify his language, 1 being
from the country and sensitive. He looked
upon me with cold and heartless scorn, thus
hurting me still more. said I would report
him, and asked him for his number. He said,
IN tone which wounded me more than can
tell. I'll give you a chew of tobacco"
Why dear sir, if conductors were to talk to
us like that out in the country we could never.
never bear to ride with them, we are so sensi-
tive. went up to Sixth avenue and Forty
third street to report him, but there was no.
body in the superintendent's Office who seemed
to want to converse with me. A man with
conductor" on his cap said it wouldn't be any
use to try to see the President at that time Of
day. and intimated, by his manner, not his
words, that people with complaints were not
popular there. any way.
So have been obliged to come to you, you
see. What wanted TO say to the President of
the road was this-and through him say it to
the President of the elevated roads-that the
conductors ought to be instructed never to
swear at country people except when there are
no city ones TO swear at, and not even then ex-
cept Tor practice Because the country people
are sensitive. Conductors need not make any
mistake; they can easily tell US from the city
people. Gould you use your influence to get
this small and harmless distinction made in
our favor? MARK TWAIN.
SATURDAY, November
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-11-10
INCREASE IN VALUES SHOWN.
The Secretary of Agriculture Presents His
Annual Report.

WASHINGTON, November 9.-The Secretary
of Agriculture has presented his annual report
to the President. By comparing prices at Chi
cago for October 16, of 1890, and of 1889, he
shows marked increase in the values Of agri-
cultural products, especially of cereals. A
tabular statement of agricultural imports of
the last fiscal year, including live animals,
barley, hay, potatoes, hops, cheese, eggs. fax,
wool, tobacco, Wines ETC., the old and new
tariff rates being given for each. indicates a
material increase in the import duties on these
articles and shows each to have been imported
in considerable qualities. The Secretary asserts
that without Ignoring the effects of natural
causes in enhancing values, it IS evident that
the economic legislation of the last session OF
Congress has directly benefited the farmers;
the improved value of cereals, as he believes,
being largely due to the silver legislation.
which. moreover has lessened the influence of
Russia and India over competitors in British
markets.
The Secretary announces the establishment
of three natural sugar experiment stations, de-
voted one each to cane. sorghum and beet
sugar. In the provisions of the tariff bill, Sec
retary Rusk finds what he regards as some
glaring inconsistencies in that It gives entire
control Of sugar manufacturing and bounty
payments to a subordinate officer of the Treas
ury Department in spite of the fact that here
tofore the Department of Agriculture has been
charged with the general supervision of the
sugar industry both in its cultural and manu-
featuring phases.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-11-10
Training the Soldiers,

OUT on the parade ground-beside that grim
old prison, the "Beauchamp Tower" where
you read the inscription cut in the walls by
men for whom death was better than life-and
beneath the windows of the Armory, two or
three lines of relocated soldiers, with the
hghtest jackets and the most ridiculous little
round caps hung on one corner OF their skulls
and strapped across their chins, were being
taught the most approved methods OF shooting
an imaginary enemy. They appeared to en-
Joy it.
That sort of thing is going on every day all
over Europe. The German soldiers in Munich
are trained in gymnasiums and set at vaulting-
bars and sand-bags as men train for boat
race. All these stout, good-looking fellows,
who might be occupied in some labor which
might be of use to the human race, are dressed
up in red or green, and taught the gentle art of
fighting.
You turn your back upon it. and make an
other journey through the smoke of the under
ground railway, and you come out at a station
where you see upon one side the immense
building which Is occupied by The Times news
paper, where they print score OF thousands of
copies in single hour, and next door to it is
another immense building which is the head
quarters of the British and Foreign Bible Soci-
ETY., where they print four millions of Bibles in
a single year.
The guns may be the arguments of kings"
but the newspapers and the Bibles are the argu-
ments of the people. The Tower and The Times,
the swords and the Scriptures, the past and the
future! G, II.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-11-10
A WOLF FIGHT.
The Trusty Dog Appeared just in Time to
Save His Masters Life.

The Trusty Dog Appeared just in Time to
Save His Masters Life.
From the klamath, WASH. Star.l
Bob Dodson, Stanf Wilson and his father
have returned from the headwaters of the
Umpqua, and Bob's deliverance from fright
full death is the sensational item of the news
they brought in.
Bob had laid his trusty rifle against large
pine and walked little distance away from it
when tremendous gray wolf appeared be-
tween him and the weapon of defense Upon
the neck of this mighty wolf the hair bristIed
ominously, in his mouth row of sharp, white
teeth glimmered and in his eyes the entire
spirit of Satan seemed to be nursing murder in
tho first degree.
On, how Bob wished for that gun, but the
wolf was coming, and there was no time to
waste on wishing. Hastily picking up a club,
Just as the lupine liver-eater sprang toward
him, he delivered a glancing blow along the
animals body. The enraged wolf sprang again
at Bob's throat and was about to open the pic
mic when Bob's ferocious and terrible bear dog
luckily dropped into the testvity. With dog
and club the wolf was forced back into the
brush. The dog was badly chewed and torn.
but he saved the life of his master that time.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-11-10
UNSETTLED IN WALL STREET.
Affairs Among the Bulls and Bears Con.
tinue to VacilIate.

AualrS among the Bulls ana Bears Con-
tinue to VacilIate.
ESPECIAL TELEGRAM TO THE DIsPArcHi
NEW YORK, November 9-Henry Clews &
Co. says: affairs in Wall street still remain
unsettled. The principal support to the stock
market, during the week. has been partial
renewal of buying by London early in the week,
and hope that current efforts at joint action
among certain leading railroad capitalists and
an eminent banker may lead to better rates on
Western freight. These facts, though possess
ing an unquestioned importance, have not
materially affected the still weak aud vacillat-
ing tone of the market The bears find it
possible to depress prices, and are now contin-
ing their attention to certain exposed stocks.
by which they manage to keep down the whole
list
''The remarkable result of the elections can
hardly be said to have so far had any important
ally conceded that Tuesdays vote foreshadows
a coming modification of the commercial policy
of the country; yet the immediate importance
of that probability is qualified by the fact that
an interval of two or three years and possibly
more is likely to elapse before any actual
changes are enacted. Moreover, sweeping
changes of popular opinion are apt to be fol-
lowed by partial reactions and in this case 1t is
not vet very clear what exact form or extent Of
change is desired. In any event, change,
whatever its nature or extent, cannot be ex-
pected within three years; which is period
long enough to admit of gradual preparation
and to mature policies with ample deliber-
ation."
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-11-10
ATTIC SALT.

Visitor-Isn't your mother afraid, Willie,
of catching cold in those slippers?
Willie-Huh, guess you don't know them slip
persI Ma them to warm the whole family
with.-Amerlcan Grocer.
Kansas girls are immense as agricultur-
ists There should be many farmers alliances
out there.-EeIo York World.
Ethel-How do you manage to distinguish
the men who wish to marry for money from those
who really love you?
Maud-Those who really love me make such
awful tools OF fthemselves.-Aelo York Herald.
"I hear your husband is quite gallant.
Do YOU ever find any letters in his pockets?''
s'Only the ones 1 gave him TO post. .''-Spars
Moments.
81 want this tramp arrested"
s'What for?''
'.He stole dozen eggs out Of my kitchen"
SORRY, ma'am, but poaching eggs ain't Q
crime. .''-MuHSey'S Weekly.
Said matter-of-fact man to an aesthetic
damsel who was talking ABOUT ''beautifying prop
erty''-'The most charming decoration for =
plate is a good piece of beef steak with we'll
cooked potatoes, and just q suficiencV Of gravy.
1t will beat trailing vines a sunfower any day
in the week. .''-HelocdstLs Chronicle.
One Profession Safe. - First Worker
(gloomiy)-Women are erowdinz into every de-
partment OF industry and lowering our wages.
Second Worker-I amt afraid OF 'em.
First WorKer-I ou're not? What you?
Second Worker-A cook.-EeIo York Weekly.
Walker-By the way, Weeks, 1 ran over
to Philadelphia last
Weeks-Whatl Good gracious Cholly, you
surely didn't keep the pace up after you struck
Broad street?-AmertcGn Grocer.
Sunday Tea Time-Mother docking at
Johnny reproachfully) have you been,
Johnny, this afternoon?
Johnny (uneasily)-Sunday school.
Mother-Why do you smell OF fish and look 50
wet?
Johnny (desperately)-Teacher told Us story
Of Jonah and the whale. Philadelphia Record.
The car was crowded to the doors,
They hung on by the straps.
And children sandwiched in the throng
Sat OH the wOmen's laps.
Still the wild conductor took them on,
TILL crushed down in the brunt
Fen rs he died his last words were,
''Please move up there In 'front.'"
--Spdrs komsnts,
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-11-10
future ascendency rests with your party or

future ascendency rests with your party or
ours"
An offer of that sort, frankly and sincerely
made. would put the responsibility on the
party that refused it. II, is an important
thought that measures to preserve the free
dom and purity of elections, as well to pro-
vide for fair and non-partisan appointments,
would be highly beneficial if they could be
framed without partisan bias, and kept free
from the hope of partisan advantage. The
coming session is good opportunity for the
Republicans to invite the Democrats, as the
rising power of the next Congress, to join in
an effort to pass measures of this class
which will command the approval of both
parties
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-11-10

at fine teurnaments-some Of them, possibly.
in fierce battles. Here you can see it all. This
Is the dress which men were proud 70 wear
and AFRAID not to wear-in the days OF Dows and
arrows, and before 1t was found out that bullets
are sharper than lances. Up and down the
long room are set these martial figures OF
squires on foot and knights on horseback.
There are some queer things in the Armory:
There is figure of Queen Elizabeth, dressed
In the costume of the time, with as big run as
you see in the pictures; she is on horseback,
with page at the bride. on her way to churcn
to give thanks for the great storm which de-
feated the Armada. And the uniform which
the Duke of ellington wore when he was
constable of the Tower. And the cloak on which
Wolfe died on the taking of Quebec. And tne
suit of clothes (made of steel) which the EN-
peror Macmillan gave to Henry VIII. as we'd
ding gift when he married Catherine of ARA
gon, with true-lovers knots engraved on 1t
and inlaid with goldi And an interesting i'm
plement of murder called a "holy-water
sprinkler consisting of a short and stout shaft
Of steel, with chain at the end. and at the
other end of the chain big solid steel ball
with sharp spikes set all over it. You take
good hold of the staff, swing that steel ball two
or three times around your head, and then
bring IL down upon somebody else's head! That
is "holy-water sprinkler" One is reminded
of that queer verse in the Psalter, But let not
their precious balms break my head" Another
OF the arguments Of kings"
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-11-10
Approaching the Tower,

a ND then the guard cries mark Lane" and
you open your door and escape. You give
up your ticket as you go out, and stand once
more upon the face of the earth. And here is
the Tower. The approach is by the Tower Hill,
where they used to have the gallows in the
good old times" Here they beheaded Thomas
More and William Laud, and a hundred other
wise and brave gentlemen, who were too good
for their generation. There is a park there
now. and paved place in the grass to mark the
spot.
Visitors enter the Tower by the Lions Gate
The kings of England kept a menagerie here
long ago, before the age of Barnum and Bailey
And people who visited London were taken ito
see the lions" phrase which still survives
In you go by the Lions Gate, and over the
bridge which crosses the old moat and so into
the Tower. You find that this old castle and
prison is small town, with a population of
relocated soldiers. all about with the thick
est kind of walls. There are outer walls, with
great towers at the angles as big as forts; and
there are inner walls again, with still more
numerous and formidable towers for stout de-
tense; and finally. in the midst of ALL with
these two huge barriers about it. is the Tower
itself. the White Tower which William the
Conquerer built and lived in.
You see the archway in the outer wall with
stone steps leading down to the water of the
river, and you remember how those green iron
gates have opened and closed again-openine
and closing chapters in English history some
times-and have given entrance to great peo-
pie. Here came those unfortunate ladies' AnIfe
Boleyn and Katherine Howard wives of The
sovereign with the tender conscience! Here
came Jane Gray. You can see a mark in tie
grass of the courtyard where she knelt to be
beheaded. Here they brought, perhaps, the
two young princes whose bones they found at a
turn in the stone stairway leading to the chapel
in the white tower.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-11-10
Religious Persecution.

From the Boston Traveller.1
1t seems almost incredible that the Car of
Russia is disposed to act upon the advice given
him by high church dignitary, and Danish all
missionaries from the country and forbid all
forms of worship save those of the Greek
church. but stranger things have happened in
Russian history. Should the Gear undertake
to carry out the policy, however, il would be
necessary for him to proceed with caution if
serious complications with powers whose SUBJ
jects are now missionaries on Russian soil are
IN ha avoided.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-11-10

SPEAKING of the notice which Mr..
Greevy, of Altoona, has given for a contest In
the Twentieth Congressional district, the Har-
risburg Call says: ITO be sure, Mr.. scull has
only 4Sl majority, but there will be but little
trouble getting rid OF that number OF votes II
the majority in Congress are anxious to add to
their numbers" Surely enough. the record OF
the last session shows that little majority OF
4Sli slight thing for committee on contested
seats to overcome. But if the Democrats are
wise they will nav little more attention to de-
cent fairness than their predecessors.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-11-10
A SHORT COURTsHIP.
The Young Lady Faltered at the Altar and
the Bridemaid Took Her Place.

The Young Lady Faltered at the Altar and
the Bridemaid Took Her Place.
Recently in Toronto middle-aged working
man, who was partially crippled and unable
to get living in the city, left 1t to seek his
fortune in the country. He met with a
young woman who was foolish enough to
agree to marry him, although he was a
perfect stranger, and it was apparent that he
could with difficulty work at his trade. A
marriage license was procured and the names
filled in, but when they got before the minis
ter the girls friends managed to get common
sense into her head-arguing that 1t was mad
ness to marry man of whom she knew moth
ing, and who was evidently ill-adapted for
working at his trade.
So in the presence of the minister, she said
she had altered her mind, but to console the
disappointed bridegroom she observed, per
haps Nary (the bridemaid, whom he had
never seen before) will take my place" So he
immediately asked if she would. and she agreed
to do SO. The name of the would-be bride was
accordingly scratched out OF the marriage
license and the bridemad's name substituted,
and the ceremony was then and there per-
formed,
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-11-10
WHAT THE SOCIALISTS SAY.

Their Opinions on the Results of the Recent
Elections.
CHICAGO, November 9.-This afternoon there
was large attendance at the meeting of the
Socialists. The proceedings began with a de-
bate upon the question of economical distribu-
tion of wealth and labor. Thomas Morgan, ex-
Alderman Corners and others took part in the
discussion, and upon its conclusion resolu-
tion was offered by Mr. Morgan stating that
the meeting was satisfied with the results of
the recent election in SO far as it Will manifest
the discomfort of the great mass OF the people
with existing conditions.
Ex-Alderman Conners spoke vehemently
against those whom he characterized as bogus
labor reformers
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-11-10
A POINT FOR STANLEY.

In contrasting some of Stanley's accusers
with himself, in weighing the merits and
defects of the principals, it will further
justice for us to remember and apply Car
lyle's suggestive remark that sit two ships
come into port equally damaged we should
inquire, before visiting judgment upon
them, whether one may not have circum-
navigated the globe and the other only the
Isle of Dogs"
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-11-10
A suit Because of Bad Gas.

PHILADELPHIA, November s-Miss Marie
Tempest. the prima donna of The Red Hus-
sar'' Company, who has been very ill for several
days, was advised yesterday to sue the city,
her illness having been caused by the sulphur
ing gas Several nirhts of last week. The au-
thorities have admitted that the fumes were
due TO the use of improper coal and the city is
likely to have several other suits besides Miss
Tempest's on its hands. Two doctors yester-
day found the gas free from sulphur.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-11-10

WE are glad to learn that Mr.. Robert l.
Lincoln has no desire to discuss further the
questions raised by his letter to person by the
name of Andrews who recently occupied po-
sition of temporary prominence in the State
of Pennsylvania. II Mr.. Lincoln had devel-
oped that absence of desire soon enough 70
prevent Mir. Andrews from misleading him
into writing that letter the result would have
been much more satisfactory for Mr.. Lincoln.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-11-10

"THIRTY-THREE millions of people
either walked or were driven over the Brook
lyn bridge in the year ending October ], and
yet that wicked Mr. Porter would not count
them in the Brooklyn census" 1t is astonish-
ing to find in the Philadelphia Press, which has
heretofore been 3 Porter organ. this assertion
that tGirty-three million of people were left out
of Porter's census. We had not supposed that
the total of omissions would amount to more
than eight or ten millions.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-11-10

AFTER the September election there was
a delusion to the effect that the big man from
Maine was Thomas B. Reed. But the Novem-
ber elections have reduced that colossal figure
to ruin, and establish as beyond dispute that
the only man from Maine towers up in the IA
miliar, if somewhat Kaleidoscope, figure of
James G. Blaine.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-11-10

THE Republican organs of other States
which are calling for Senator Quays resigna-
tion of the position of Chairman Of the Ma
tional Republican Committee are evidently OF
the opinion thar the sins Of their party can be
atoned by a scapegoat
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-11-10
RACING AFTER A BEAR.

ABB. O. Freight Train Chases the Animal
a Quarter of Mile.
ESPECIAL TELEGRAM TO THE D1sPArcH.1
KEYsER, W. VA, November 9-Ye esterday.
while Baltimore and Ohio freight train was
near Dobbins station. the engineer sa" an AMI
mai ON the track which he took for a dog.
After A race of a quarter of a mile, the engine
struck and killed 1t, when it was found to be a
140-pound bear.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-11-10
Body Petrified IN Three Years.

SUNBURY, November 9-In removing the
body of Miss Ella Sewell, who was buried in
October. 1887, from one cemetery to another.
the body ana the flowers placed in the coffin at
the time OF the funeral were found in COM
come snow.white.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-11-10

THAT campaign picture circulated by the
Republicans showing the empty benches on the
Democratic side of the House seems to have
done its work. The country evidently came to
the conclusion that the empty seats must be
al mn
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-11-10
Mr.. Phelps in the Adirondacks.

PLATTsBURG, N. Y. November 9.-Ex-Min-
lister to England E. ]. Phelps and Mrs. Phelps,
accompanied by DR.. Loomis, of Burlington. ar
rived at Saranac Lake, and are uuartered at the
Hotel Apersand. Mrs. Phelps is in very poor
health. and will probably remain in the Adiron-
dacks the coming winter. Mr.. Phelps will re-
turn Monday or Tuesday.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-11-10
C.L. Maree Meets Governor Pattison.

From the Philadelphla Reeord.J
Mr.. Christopher Magee. of Pittsburg. stopped
over in the city yesterday on his way to New
York. While walking down Chestnut street he
met Goyernor.elect Pattison. and the two in
duIeed in a yery friendly chat about the result
1t was the first time they had met since the
election. Mr.. Magee felt quite proud of the
result in Allegheny county, and particularly in
the city of Pittsburg.