Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1890-03-13
HHkE AND THERE.

darken it." Mr.. Teakum Stfate-'So
I've heard, my dear, but prefer to have
my tea darkened in some other way
1Rtsrtcas Grocer.
Butler lat fancy dress ball who has
been told to announce people by the
characters they represent, to new arrivals)
What oharscter2 Ladies-Oh, no par
tioular character. Butler lat the top of
bis voice. 1.-TWO ladies of no character in
particular. HGrper's Bazar.
Lswyer-Well, proceed. Witness
The plaintiff resorted to an ingenious use
of oircumstnntial evidence The Judge
Qnterrupting)-Fo the benefit OF this
jury, state in palmer language exactly
what you mean by that. Witness-Well,
my exact meaning iI-that he lied l-'St.
Louis Magazine.
The presiding officer at religious con-
vention, held last week in ShamokiD, de-
clined to pay any attention to resolu-
ton, though almost unanimously adopted
declaring iG improper for him to occupy
the chair. II anything should happen to
Speaker Reed-but perish the thought
philadelphia Ledger.
Mrs. Sharp (angrily)-You're fool!
Mr.. Sharp (meekly) -YeH, dear. Mrs.
Sharp-And Pm fool too. Mr.. Sharp
| (soothingly)-Yes, dear. Mrs. Sharp
(breaking into storm of tears) -Oh,you
mover would have said that 10 me before
we were married, never. - Pitts6ur9
Chronicle Telegraph.
81 wish to say TO the congregation,
ssid the minipter, "that the pulpit is not
responsible for the error OF the printer
on the tickets for tho concert in the Bun-
| day school room. The concert is for the
benefit of the arch fund, not the arch
fiend. We will now sing hymn Ri1 TO
err is human, to forgive divine "--Neio
| York Sun.
G.-"So you are going to marry
another one OF those Jones Rirls2n H.
"Yes.n "You have married two of them,
haven't you 2" NYes.n hAud there are
only two marsiod sisters left ?" Eyes,
that's ALL" well, then, you ought to bs
careful with those Jones girls and not
waste any moro Of them or they will not
hold QUIT tgSs Siftiags
Woman-I gave my husband taste of
The broomstick half an hour ago, and he
went out, swearing he would kill some
one. Has he been here? Saloon-keeper
Yes, ma'am; John was ia here. Woman
|
oh, no. He took two drinks OF our best
whisky and then left. Woman-Poor
john! l didn't mean to drive him to
suicide. = Life.
Housa.hunting Matron (astonishs "
Nine hundred dollars year Do up-
ders'and you correctly? Janitor-That'6
what said, mum. Is the figure too high:
Marion (recovering herself Mo, the fig.
urs Ia oil right, but (Laughtiiy) the
neighborhood does not exactly suit me.
Janitor (apologetioally)-It is a pretty
swell neighbothood, mum, that's fact.
-Ohtcago Tribune.
Heelsr-Hnw much eye AK, sor, fe,
taioh mo friend here ter read jist three
wurruds? Professor-Why only three
words? Heeler-Well, ye see, sor, il
they're going to wurruk this Owstraliur
ballot reform racket, l want me frind
here to be dead shure Nv three wurruds
"Dem." Rep and "Prohib." III
meself as kin attend to the rest aV the
taichin- "-RarpsT's Weekly.
IL is fact not generally known, say
the Ne,cs and C0,srtsr, that the Charles
ton, 3. o., library is in possession of thu
only copy extant OF the celebrated Neck
, lenberg N. c., resolutions Of 1775, pub
! lished at the time of their PRONUNCIATION
This copy is Ia the South Carolini
GazA,te and Country Journal OF Jun
} 18th, 1875, which is among the old news
paper files In the possession Of the 80
ciety.
Politeness rewardad--A man In a on
gave up his seat 10 lady. She accepted i
without as much as "thRnk you" Later
M SRk kha xuk, al
knew, and, Just before leaving, abe c0llet
him TO her, and said "You take my seat
for am going TO get OF here" The NAL
directly in front of her, and his faoa wa
was manifest that no WAS doing grea
deal OF thinking. --Bosto7t Saturday Ga
eette.
A saints skull is in litigation in Lyons
It belonged originally to saint dear
Soanen, revered by janssnist because b
had protested against the Bull "Unigsni
tus." It came after his death into th
possession OF an anoleot family by whom
1t was handed down, until recently On IN
worthy scion sold it to local dealer il
bric-a-brao, who, in turn, dispoaad oft 70
$500 to n woman who already CHANGED L
. The broker who brought this customer I
the dealer rejsoted the lstser's Offer Of 8
commission and has sued for moro.
: 1t was 10 O'Clock, in the morning, who
, the pale young man stepped up to til
doorwalker in the dry goods store. g
: wanted 10 get something for an articI
= about these poor, overworked girls. III
!, told they're Obliged to stay in the ator
= 10 hours day." swell, If you'll wal
? awhile, the proprietor will be here. Jus
: take seat" "Csn't do it; I've got
+ fire, a murder, railroad accident, and
, couple Of conversations to look Rttel
!, besides several other little things, an
!, I've got to get them all in by 2 O'CLOCK
i to, morrow morning, Pm afraid I'll hav
. to let the overworked shop. girls walt ii
come other day. Washington Post.
Mr.. E ison has made another marvalou
invention. He attaches an instantaneou
9 Photographic camera to his phonoErapi
3 plants his two lethal Instruments right /
: front of an orator, and seta them to worl
!, The phonogrsph records every ayllabl
that falls from his lips, every them" an
: Ter" and approximation, while th
. lightning Gamers simultaneously photo
. graphs eight or 90 timeB every second til
:, movements of the speaker. Then I'll
9 monographs are protected by magi
lantern the size of life, the phonograp
u 10 set going, and the Grafton can be =,
y delivered ad iuGnitum.
/, Proof Reader--As flowers without III
y sunshine fare-comma -ao-oomma-
J without you-comma--do I breathe
bark md dismal mare Copy Holder
L Thunder not mare-afr, Proof kehdE