davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-06-16
FUNNY MEMS FANCIES.

The congregation expresses its appre-
cation of the minister's sermons by
nods.-Binghamton Leader.
Mrs. Watts-What! You don't mean
to say that you do not believe In Sunday
as day of rest?
Mrs. Potts-I might if Mr.. Potts were
not so fond of good dinners.-Terre
Haute Express.
Husband-There is a tramp at the
door.
Wife-Give him some of those biscuits
1 baked t his morning.
HuSband-No, no, wife. Have you
forgotten the minister's text Sunday
about man asking for bread and being
give stone?-Yonkers Statesman.
Barber-HOw is the razor, sir?
Victim-I wouldn't know | was being
shaved.
Barber feeling flattereO- ~ Glad to
Victim-Pd think / was being sand
papered.-B Herald.
''Do you always practice what you
preach?" asked the tired deacon of the
long -winded minister.
Il do, my brother" said the long
winded minister solemnly.
"Well," said the tired deacon, with a
sigh, II don't wonder, then that you
don't seem to get any time to make any
pastoral ealls.-Somerville Journal.
Mrs. Upjohn Injecting acquaintance
at drug store)-How do you do, Mrs.
Keeway? How did you like the lecture
last evening?
Mrs. Keeway-I thought it was tire
some. How did it strike you?
Mrs. Upjohn-It was the most super
fetal thing | ever heard. Nothing deep
about it. Deliver me from these surface
people. (To clerk: A package of lily
white, please.-Chicago Tribune.
HE HAS FORGOTTEN.
The old man laughs at his stylish son,
In manner exceedingly rude;
He chuckles and grins, and pokes all sorts
AT the comical way Of the dude"
For it's plain the old man has forgotten the
days
When his father at him used to jeer,
On account of his dandified. ludicrous ways,
And the loyelocks he wore round his ear.
-Terre Haute EXDress
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-06-16
ODD ITEMS.

A photographer paid Stanley $1,000
to sit for portrait.
Fort Myers, Fla, has a pineapple
weighing six and half pounds. and an
other Florida man plucked lettuce
head which weighed two and quarter
pounds and measured sixteen inches
across.
T. w. Braswell. a Charlotte, N. c.,
jeweler, has curiosity in the shape of
watch made in Ireland in the year
HOT. This is all the more curious, says
local paper, because watches were
not made until several centuries later.
The kaiser's latest reform is in naval
uniforms. The new book of regulations
says that an admiral may. when at sea,
wear an ollSkin sou'wester and coat;
but his shirt-front must be perfectly
plain, and devoid of tucks or frillS; and
the distance between the rows of gold
lace on his sleeves must be .27559 of an
inch.
1.-THE beautiful women Of the world"
are requested, in circular, to send
their photographs to the Baroness Klara
Won der Decker at Tiflis. These will
be examined by committee of artists,
and those selected will be put in an
album, with the title, TYPES Of Female
DCduby VI GuC 1dSG cdIS VI bIlO INluC-
teenth Century, Then the album will
be sent to the Moscow museum.
William Waldorf Astor has employed
artists at an expense of something like
| $4,000 to illustrate one COPY of each of
his novels. These copies form private
edition de luxe, each one being labeled
'My Personal Copy" and occupying a
prominent place in his library.
A statistical enthusiast has calculated
that pianist, in playing a certain
presto, played $685. notes in four min
utes. The striking of each note in
| volved two movements of the finger and
one movement each of the elbow, wrist
and arm. From this it is calculated that
| seventy-two voluntary movements were
| made per second.
When travelling, Emperor William of
Germany carries box filled with the
decorations of the various orders, to be-
| stow according to his philosophic fancy.
A new megaphone has been placed on
| the market in England, by which the
human voice can be so magnified that
| it may be heard at distance OF several
miles.
Sarah Bernhardt expects to make
| enough money cut of her autobiogra-
| phv, soon to be published, to build a
little rock playhouse, with crypt
under the stage for her remains.
An Ottawa, ILL.,, man has been fined
| S125 for kissing another mans wife.
A census of wolves has been taken in
Russia. They amount to 10000, &C
| cording to the enumeratorS.
An Australian musician has invented
trombone that is played by steam. Its
God Save the Queen" can be heard at
| distance of four miles. He had hard
| luck with it. however, for the people Of
| his own town drove him out as nui-
| sance.
Mrs. John G. Curtis, of New York,
| has most remarkable orchestra, made
up of men, women and children from
poor families. She has had them in
structed by good teacher, and now
they play for public charity entertain
mentS.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-06-16

WHILE young ladies at institutions
have been exhibiting Intellectual graces,
it is noted that the outgoing class at
Vassar has the attraction of the pref
test girl seen there for many years.
There will be st. Paul girls there the
coming year. The most impressive
point in the baccaIaureate there last
Sunday was the eXhortation to the
Young ladies to go forth with the in
vincible purpose not to lean on any
body. Perhaps this did not mean all
that it said.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-06-16
AMONG THE POLITICIANS.

Jerry The first announce
ment OF the definite
Rusk purpose of President
Harrison to seek re-
Sanguine. nomination In 1892 was
indicated through Gen.
j. M. Rusk, secretary of agriculture in
President Harrison's cabinet. "Uncle
jerry" as he is Familiarity known in
Wisconsin and in Washington, is a
giant in stature and as brave in politics
as he was in war. He is six feet three
or four inches in height and cor
respondingly large in structure. He
wears high silk hat and makes men
look up to him. / heard that he had
asserted with emphasis that Presi-
dent Harrison would be renOminated,
and quietly asked him about it IN
the corridor of the Fifth Avenue hotel.
"Why not" he replied in Quaker
fashion, with most emphatic tone.
Then he went on to say: 81 believe
that President Harrison will be re-
nominated and reelected. 1t makes no
difference who is nominated by the
Democrats. The people will indorse
President Harrison's administration be-
couSe it has been and will be good
one. He has made absolutely no mis-
takes. That is his great strength. AS
the time comes near when the people
begin to consider candidates and look
over the record he has made, it will
prove so acceptable that nothing can
stop his denomination and reelection.
am for him and believe the people will
be for him."
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-06-16

Will do well to bear
in mind that next win
ter will probably be a
cold one Gas we have
had two warm ones),
and that now is the
time to get bargains
in Seal Garments. We
have never offered
such a lot of goods as
we do this season.
They are
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-06-16
Another Broken Promise.

Ithaca Democrat
The Republican party promised one
cent postage as one of the booms to fol-
low the election of Harrison. And yet
we are farther off from One-cent postage
to-day than when Mr.. Cleveland retired.
With a $4,000, 900 deficiency in the postal
of the surplus in the treasury. there is
no prospect of the redemption of this
promise for many years to come.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-06-16
a mistake about the consumer not being
the party to pay the duties.

Down in Maine, the other day, the
Republican state convention did not
mention the MCKINLEY bill. 1t Is not
just now remembered that it has Jared
better in any similar body. A small
wager would be safe that words Of
cheer will not be lent the protection
architect by the convention in this state
on the oath of July.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-06-16
The War Into Africa.

Sheldon Enterprise.
Gov. Miller can't afford to decline a
denomination. His declination would
serve as pretext for the Spencer cor
tege to proclaim that he dare not again
aspire to his present position-hand
writing on the wall. etc. His refusal.
after their assertions that he is a hypo-
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-06-16

BEN BUTTERwoRTH may have some
qualifications for secretary of the
worlds fair; but the fact that he is a
disabled politician, and that he voted in
favor of the tariff bill after making a
dashing speech against it, are not recon-
mendatIonS.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-06-16
With Fear and Trembling.

Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The tariff and the silver bill were
both passed by the house under caucus
domination ann gag rules, with the hope
Oh the part of many Republicans voting
for both measures that they will be re-
jected by the senate or so changed as to
lose their principal characteristics. The
suspicion that their hope may be disap-
pointed would throw them into an
agony of fear as to the action of their
constituents when the question of con-
tinua nee in their seats comes up.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-06-16
A Bright Boy.
Hartford Post.

OSt
s'It is time that you were thinking
about entering upon your life work."
said fond father to his son who had
just finished his college education and
spent three years Abroad" what do you
think of doing?"
'Doing! Why, am doing very we'll
as it is, you know. I don't know but 1
might take three years. course for 9
profession after time"
The old man begins to think that he
has been made fool of.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-06-16
MILLER AS a Ghost.

Fargo Republican.
John Miller seems to be the ghost that
haunts the dreams of a bakers dozen of
old political hacks of North Dakota
The supreme indifference with which
he treats their movements has already
driven them to frame of mind border
ing on political hari-kari.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-06-16

THAT st. Louis Republican congress
man who kicked SO before voting for
the MCKINLEY bill says it secures to a
trust profit of 500 per cent OIL borax
and boracic acid. 1t only worried HIM
because he uses bora largely in his
manufactures. But he will probably be
able to squeeze it out of the people who
use his wares.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-06-16

A PAMPHLET copy of McKINLEy's
speech in favor OF his bill is being cir
culated by Republicans. He gives as
one of the strong points in its support
that under it ''the government, its Off
GERS, agents and contractors, would have
hereafter to pay the same duties which
it's citizens: generally are required to
pay" There has, then, evidently been
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-06-16
NATIONAL POLITICS.
Republican IniQuity.

Louisville Courier-Journal.
The whole character of legislation is
changing. Congress is no longer rep
resentative body; it meets simply to
record the edicts of handful of revO-
lutionary Republican leaders, bent upon
raiding the treasury and thwarting the
will of the people of the country. One
may search in vain the whole history of
comparable in iniquity. to that made by
the Fifty-frst congress of the United
States under the leadership Of MI. Reed
and Mr.. Mckinley.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-06-16
SOUTH DAKOTA SENTIMENT.
Anti-Woman Clubs.

Sioux Falls Press.
While of course it was known that a
large majority Of the sentiment in this
state is against woman suffrage, it was
scarcely to have been expected that
there would be club organizations there
of, but news from Faulkton shows that
i'm that region the voters are asSociating
themselves for opposition to the new
reform" One club reports member
ship of hundred voters and still grow
iIlO
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-06-16
Hear Something Drop.

Alexandra Journal.
The congressman from South dakota
voted for the Mckinley tariff bill as
though they were doing an act that
would greatly benefit their constitu-
ents, but unless the educational cam
paign and experiences of Dakotans in
the past 60 for naught, the congress
men will hear something drop about
election time next fall.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-06-16

BEFORE congress decides that "malt,
hopes and yeast" are the only proper
and legitimate constituents of beer, it
might be we'll to find out for certain if
the other ingredients are pernicious to
the consumer. There may be real im-
provements in beer.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-06-16

HARRISON has veto nerves poorly de-
veloped. He allowed private pension
bill to become law without his sigma
ture the other day, when be knew the
party was totally undeserving and
never did any military service. CLEvE-
LAND vetoed the same bill.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-06-16

uncomplimeDtary things, would at least
SAVIOR Of trepidation, and although he
may have no desire for the Office, yet
under the circumstances he should show
a bold front and make the attempt. Let
the fight be "Grant or nothing" and
carry the war into Africa-the blacks
will show their worries, but when it
comes to pinch many will be found
off color.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-06-16
Trifling With the Party.

jamestown Alert.
1t is stated in the same connection
that if the governor is not renominated
he has threatened to run without NOM
ination-iuSt to beat the lottery. Per-
haps that is the reason the alliance did
not commit itself to third party move
last week. 1t is time enough to do that
after the Republican nominating con-
ventioD. This cool trifling with the in
terests of the Republicans party of
North Dakota by the governor and his
FOUNDERS is going on daily.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-06-16
The Tyranny of King Caucus


Kansas City Times.
& Republican voters are managed by
the local politicians and newspapers.
The politicians and newspapers get
their orders from the Washington eau
GUS The caucus takes instructions
from the bosses, and the bosses make
their deals with the trusts and money
kings. We have an example of party
discipline for sinister purposes never
before equaled in this or any other
country since the worse rottenness of
the English and French legislatures
was corrected. Manufacturers trusts
and money owners combinations press
the buttons and the Republican voters
do the rest. 1t is marvellous machine.
and the chief end of its existence is to
paralyze the free expression of intelli-
gent opinion which the founders of this
government expected to be the ruling
power.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-06-16
Pat Still Flying.

Plank nton Standard.
Pat Donan, the celebrated magma
tive orator who formerly made North
Dakota his home, is still on earth, and
is still booming the Dakotas. He did
himself proud and exceeded all former
efforts in recent article on the beauties
and wonderful productions of this coun-
try, in which he hardly touches the
ground
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-06-16
A Cautious Lover.

Flensburger Sonntagsblatt.
''Look here, Fritz, why don't you
make up to the little fraulein? Go in
and win, man! 'Pon my life, she's a
regular pearl"
Fritz (sulkily)-That may be, but I
can't do with the mother Of pearl.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-06-16
Too Small for Him.

Bismarck Tribune.
This country Is altogether too small
for Representative Picker. of South
Dakota. His craftsmanship covers the
world. He has introduced bill in con-
gress to prohibit the Importation of
liquors into Africa and the islands of the
Pacific ocean.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-06-16
The Ruling Passion.

Chicago Tribune.
The railway accident had been ter
rible one, and one of the men who were
carrying the thirty-seventh victim up
the embankment said with strong feel
ing:
"Somebody will have to pay dearly for
all this!"
The mangled passenger opened his
eyes and glared at the speaker.
1.-The company is not to blame," he
said, feebly; ''this is dispensation of
Providence"
He was the attorney for the road.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-06-16
The Poor EnumeratOr.

EACHaHSH.
Harry-Dearest, do you really and
truly love me? Will you be mine,
wholly mine? When shall be the happy
day?
Uncle George (overhearlng the aoove)
Blamed if there isn't another one O.
them COMPOUNDED census enumerators
catechizing Kittie. Beats all, though,
what fool questions they ask.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-06-16
FUNNY FOLLIES.
A Woman's Answer.

Burlington Free Press.
De Smith, saw you kiss Miss South
mayd last night!
Travis (blushing)-Did your That's
unfortunate!
De Smith-She seemed rather re-
luctant.
Travls--Well, yes; to tell the truth
she said no to me with her lips.
De Smith-But her eyes said
Travis thought they said yes.
De Smith-Of course! And the eyes
had it.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-06-16

PERHAPS congress forgot about that
Pan-American congress when it en-
powered the president to use the blud-
geon if necessary to enforce the settle
ment of the Venezuelan claims. There
was an impression that arbitration was
one OF the fruits of that body.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-06-16
No Chance for Athletes,

Boston Transcript.
Hollis Holworthy- What do you
think of this new project Of a three
years. course at Harvard?
Lusty Beckman-It would never do,
don't you know. Why, a fellow could
not properly develop his biceps in that
time, not to speak of back and chest.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-06-16
NORTH DAKOTA TALK.
Trim for Senator.

Grand Forks Herald.
The wisest act of the South Dakota
Democracy yesterday was the indorse-
ment of Bartlett Trip for the United
States senate. If by a political revolu-
ton a Democratic legislature should
have the opportunity to ratify this in
dorsement, the state would be worthily
represented by the election of Judge
Trip.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-06-16

ONE of the Seattle papers Issues a
twenty-page paper on the anniversary
of the fire. and shows that the improve
ments in the burned district cost 81, 49,
79S. That was good showing for the
year.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-06-16

UIF SPEAKER REED is member of the
next congress,the Democrats propose to
inquire into the vote-buying industry
that is said to be so prevalent in his dis
trict. Still, if he has $4,000 majority, he
will not probably be fired.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-06-16
Good Reason for Unhappiness.

Atlanta Constitution.
President Harrison is not happy. The
summer attractions of the White house
are many, and the measure of power to
which he has attained ought to satisfy
the longings of any reasonable man;
but it is not so with Mr.. Harrison. The
outlook is certainly not encouraging to
the president, and the example of In
diana in repudiating his administration
is not likely to strengthen his chances
in other states. In fact, the future has
very little hope for him, and the sus-
pense in which he awaits the verdict of
the people in the matter of second
term is unrelieved by any hopeful signs.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-06-16
just What They Have Done.

Yankton Telegram.
If the Farmers alliance, or those who
aim to be the political leaders of that
organization, put up third or indie
pendent state ticket, as it seems they
will most likely do at this writing, then
look out for a rafting of dry bones
among the scheming politicians of both
the old political parties. The fight will
be on in dead earnest and new men will
be brought to the front all along the
line. Whether such move will result
in success cannot now be even
guessed at.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-06-16
A Double Surprise.

Fliegende Blatter.
"What splendid purse you have got
there!"
GA present from my wife"
s'But was there anything inside?"
"Of course! The unpaid bill for the
purse"
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-06-16

The Fraud Will Recoil on Them.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The crime of stealing nearly dozen
seats in congress because of party ext
gencies, although no fraud could be es-
tabliShed, will come back to the Repub-
lcan thieves with terrific force in the
near future.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-06-16
TO-DAY'S WEATHER.

WASHINGTON, June 15.-For Michigan, Wis
cousin aid Illinois: Fair; warmer, except
slightly cooler in extreme Southeastern
Michigan; variable winds. For Minnesota,
North Dakota, South Dakota Nebraska and
Iowa: Showers preceded by fair in North
Dakota and Eastern Minnesota; slightly
cooler, except stationary temperature in Iowa
and Eastern Minnesota; variable winds.
GENERAL OBSERVATIONS.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-06-16
CHE: ZAP

By far cheaper than
any ever offered here.
We have ZIG hobby
Jackets and half
length garments which
we bought at less than
the Seal in them is
worth to-day. You
can save from $25 to
$40 by picking one
out now instead of
waiting till fall. A
genuine Alaska Seal
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-06-16
Remarkable Generosity.

Fliegende Blatter.
"A more deserving medical man
than our friend Richard does not exist.
He very frequently accepts no fees from
his patients!
B.-You don't say so!
A.-For he generally settles with the
heirs
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-06-16

ONE of the Eastern cities has estab-
lished the rule that no man shall be an
alderman who weighs under 200 pounds.
The ancient and general ideal has been
in that vicinity.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-06-16
Will Have to Turn to Himself

Louisville Courier-J ournal.
1t looks as if Mr.. CIarkson will have
to start an able newspaper himself, if
the grand old party is to have one.
Even he himself might grow weary of
the tariff humbug if he had to defend it
every day in the year.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-06-16
The Old Man Was in Doubt.

The Old Man Was i'll Doubt.
Terra Haute Express.
Mr.. Figg-What have you been fight
ing about this time, sir?
Tommy-One of the fellows said l
was a bigger fool than my father.
Hadn't l oughter "a licked him?
Mr.. Figg-Why, of course. That is to
say-oh, get along out of here and tell
your mother to wash your face.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-06-16
Decadence of Republicanism.

Kansas City Times.
Gen. Grant was not as good Repub-
lican as Quay, Reed, Dudley and ingalls,,
but he was twice elected to the presi-
dency by Republicans, while none of
the band mentioned could carry three
states on any platform. He was also
the soldier who ended the civil war.