The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1890-06-06
SELLERS OF SHEET MUSIC.
statesmen Who Have Many Petty Trial
and Divertlne Incidents.

'The petty trials and tribulations OF
the salesman who retails sheet music
behind u counter are vexation TO the
spirit and WEAKNESS to the flesh"
The speaker. SAYS the Boston Herald.
was well-known publisher of music
and the senior partner In West street
firm. IL served tedious apprentice
ship 10 that sort of thing myself" he
continued, s'and so ! know whereof |
speak. Ii Is notorious that the musi-
cal world Is peopled perhaps more
largely than any other profession with
cranks. | suppose that when man Is
thoroughly absorbed In the theory and
practice of harmony he Ii prone TO be
Jared by the discords of everyday life
and Ii disagreeably conscious OF being
out OF tune with the universe. But
however we account for il. the fact re-
mains that music-buyers are. as IA class.
the most exciting aud techy of eustom~
ers. Half the time they haven't the
faintest idea as TO what they want. and
they will frequently own To this frank
". relying on the clerk to make selec-
tious for them.
but the life of music clerk has its
compensations. The gtotesque and
picturesque incidents that come under
his eyes are numberless. You see that
pale young man with the saffron
whiskers over there. Well, only yes
terday n beautiful, lauauorous-eyed
young lldy tripped In here, and glid-
ing 10 the counter I'm front of that
guileless youth lisped dreadfnlly; VIII
you give me your hand in mineP' The
clerk happened To be as bashful as he
looks. and he was taken completely
aback. He flushed vivid scarlet.
stammered Why certainly made as
If to extend his hand. and then be-
thinking himself in time. climbed to
yonder shelf and brought down the
song Your Hand In Mine. for which
the artless damsel had inquired la such
bewildering fashion. Aud the young
lady, who was evidently not without a
sense Of the humor of the situation.
dropped her languorous eyes and
smiled serenely.
''Ihe man who gives the most trou-
BILE Is, perhaps, the funniest of all the
bores that drift into the music store.
He is the individual who wants the
music to an air which he does not
know by name. With the assurances
of a Mozart he saws 10 the tired clerk
who waits ON him: What | want goes
something like this: "1ra-la-la. tra-la-
lee. tra-la-loo." Don't YOU remember
itP Obi You must know il. Tra-la-la.
tra-la-lee. If you'll run over the names
OF songs that sound like that | may re-
call the title. Tra-la-la, tra-la-la, ira
la-loo.m There's only one thing TO do
with this particular crank, aud that is
TO tell him bluntly that you have no
ear for music and that consequently
YOU have no idea of the tune he is try
ing to hit. After that he is reasonably
sure to cease his diseordant trilling
and take his leave.
''One day last week stalwart son
of Erin came in. accompanied by n
buNom young woman. whose brilliant
costume aud affectionate manner
stamped her as a newly welded bride.
In timid tone. enriched bs a delight
ful brogue, the Young woman asked
one Of the clerks If he had the song
Let Me Fold Thee Close. Acnshla.
owe have Let Me Fold Thee Close.
Mavoureen.m replied tile clerk.
Sure. it's all one. me boy. broke
in the happy groom. 'Acushla or Ma
voureen, il comes 10 the same thing
"Ihe smiling clerk busted himself
with wrapping up the music, while the
blue-eyed bride slyly whispered To her
spouse: 'Arrah, Teddy. ne aisy now.
How cud yer expect the young gintle-
man TO have any Gaelic
''All in ALT there are some very di-
verting incidents TO he met with in an
establishment of this sort. aud YOU
might pick up much worse place for
the study OF the funny side OF human
nature