The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1890-02-27
WIT AND HUMOR.

SWeliS the heart instead of the head
Boston Courier
A saloon is like harbor-most OF
the wrecks are to be found outside the
bar.-7erre Haute cypress.
Resolutions are like messenger boys
They are the easiest thing imaginable
to pass.-Boston Transcript.
Contributor How much ought te
get for that poem?" Editor-.'Y You
ought to get about fifteen years. y
Puck.
when drink much / can't work,
and SO | let it alone" The drink.
ing?" mo, the working. Flieqendt
Btaetter.
Mrs. Fangle-'.This Russian influen-
za is very contagious, is it not?n Fan
gle = Yes. even detective could
catch it."-Lye.
The lawyers in the case are like 4
pair of shears. They never cut them.
selves, but what is between Laurence
-d1nerfcan.
Brown-''Does your wife keep her
temper very well?n Jones-''U 'Um-e1
some; but | get the most of it.
boston Gazette.
The reason why it hurts to have a
tooth pulled is supposed to be that you
cant bite your lips at the time
Eliegehde Bidetter.
When we see IA young father wheel
ing his first baby in the street we OBJ
tain realizing sense of the ioys of a
carriage and pere.-Puck.
lrate Housewife = You're ALWAYS
breaking something" Servant-'.Sure
but | amt tried it on your record for
fault finding. Rome Sentinel.
Bronson-''See here, Cadlev. did
you tell Smithers | was the meanest
white man that ever lived?n Cadley
NO, didn't draw the color line. -
N. Y. SIN.
The poet says that "'Tis love which
makes the world 90 round" 1t also
makes the young man go around"
quite frequently Sunday nights-Io-
| tedo Commercial.
What is your idea of a gentleman,
1ellowly?' "A true gentleman al
ways laughs at the joke of story and
never says that he heard it before. -
boston courier.
He-.'What did your father say
when you told him that we were en-
| gaged?" She-'Oh, Augustus,you must
not ask me to repeat such languager'
-Boston Bedget.
A clever man has invented a system
/ OF reading music for the blind. How
delightful. Now they can feel the elo-
quence of Wagner's music without
having to hear it.-Litc.
Wickwire - What is the reason
Nudge does not speak to YOU any
! more? Have you offended him in any
way?" fabsley Yes. | claimed
that he had nothing but common
cold."-1erre Ha,tte Express.
Jones-'I never saw anything 90
like the sugar in this house. -Four
pounds in six weeks! It's awful! How
do YOU account for it?" Mrs. Jones
Il don't know unless the grocer puts
quicksand in it. -Binghanaton Leatler.
Severe Adorer (about to enter the
ministry)-'I trust You find a great
deal of comfort in thinking of Script
ure verses" Interesting Invalid =
Yes, indeed. That text, Grin and
bear it, does me a heap of good
Lye.
by thunder. old fellow, what has
happened to you that you smile so all
the time? What is it SO good?n 20,
nothing at ALL but you see one never
knows nowadays but somebody NAV
be photographing him. = Fiegende
Blaetter.
Il observe with regret, George" said
Georges father that YOU are still at
the foot Of your class. Is there no pros
pect of your doing better?n 20. YES.
father; | expect to be second or third
III the next class below next term. =
". I. Sun.
You know what a fashion Miss
Gnawledge has of quoting proverbs at
all timeS?n Yes" well. last night
as | remarked about midnight that
must go, she looked at the clock and
murmured, Better late than never
", \. Heraid.
Primus-''How did Fergus do at the
speaking?' Secundus - We'll, sir,
when Fergus time came there was
round after round of applause" Pri-
mus Good! | must congratulate him
on his success" Secundus - And
when he finished YOU could have heard
pin drop. ,'-Harper's Bazar.
Young Wife (who has just caught
sight of her husbands face in the mir.
ror)-"Why, dear, what's the matter?n
Husband (savagely)-'I can't get the
combination of this blanked four-in-
hand tie" Wife (sweetly)-'.Well, be
careful not to look round this way.
dear; I'm feeding the baby its milk
After the railroad accident, Hus-
band (extricating himself from the
wreck Emily. thank God you are
safe! Heavens, isn't this awful?n
Wife-"Dreadful! Hear the poor peo-
pie groan! Dearest?' Husband -
What is it, love?n Wife-''Is my
hat on straight?"- Burlington Free
Press.
Smith-'That was Il very Interesting
lecture of yours on the Catacombs. Did
you write it while you were in Rome,
or after you returned home? Spouter
%, no, | wrote it before | went
Wanted to get it off my mind, You
know, so that when | got abroad I'd
nave notnlng 10 90 put ENJOY myself
boston TRANSCRIPT.
Mr.. Penn-'-It amuses me to see YOU
dressing to 90 around the corner. One
would think you were going to we'd
ding Mrs. Penn-'l didn't spend
much time dressing when | went to
your wedding" Mr.. Penn-''No, YOU
weren't taking any chances. You
knew that delays We're dangerous" -
Philadelphia Inquirer.
Mrs. Grubb's Cook-'Law. but the
missus do hate TO have boarder come
from your house 10 ours" Mrs. Hash
crof;'s Cook 'spects they do grum-
bic good deal. Its 50 different to
what they have been used to-" Mrs
GrUbb's Cook. Bless Your soul, that
isn't ii. What she kicks on is their
bein' 50 awful hungry. ."-Ierrs Haute