The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1890-10-03
WIT AND HUMOR.

WIT AND HUMOR.
Made him shave bis whisiers Oh to dissppoIns
the Wind.
Chatter.
Ct al I'd words Sf tongue Or pan.
You've triod to kiss, and trying. missed her
And she says. go practice on your sister"
What was Noah's wife's nanepn
Joan, wasn't itP"-M. Y. Sun.
Troubles sometimes come singly,
after all; all children are not twins
Atchison Globe.
How to catch fish Is a study. How
to lie about itcomes natural.-New Or
leans Rcayu,e.
The number IS is not so unlucky II
you put a mark like this before it:
e.-Washington Post
How high are the White Noun
tainsp" "They vary. From Is to tl5
a day."-M. Y. Herald.
20. I wish I'd been a man." cried
Mrs. Bjonson. II wish to Heaven you
had!' retorted Mr.. Bjcnson. = The
Epoch.
Atlas carried the world on his back
aud not in front of him as it is carried
by great men OF the present day.-Dal-
las (7sz.) News.
Little Turtle owned Chicago in 1890,
but he had so little snap to him that
tho place did not grow much while he
was proprietor. = ourfer-Journal
THAT man made money Just by
his sand" WHAT" Eyes. He's a
brickmaker."-SL Joseph (Ao.) Meas.
A man never, seldom ever, knows
how to use his own ideas quite as we'll
ms the ideas he has picked up.-DaNas
(Is1.) Mews.
A woman car disguise her wrinkles,
debts, and receptions from q man, but
she can never hide them from another
woman.-Atchison (Kas.) Globe.
The interesting question in some cir
cles is: How can the depositor retain
his equilibrium when the cashier has
lit out with his balancep-Phi2adelphta
Press.
Don't be hurt at what you think is a
lack of sympathy. The spot on your
nose that looks SO big to you is hardly
visible to any one else.-Terre Huute
Express.
Editor-"Your poem contains some
sparkling. gems" Idyl (proudly)-
''Indeed!" Editor-"Yes, you should
have seen them flash when the flame
caught them."-7he Epoch.
A Louisville pie factory is about to
be established in Washington. There
win be no nine months session of Con-
grcss after this factory gets in opera.
tion.-AAanta Constitution.
Talking Shop-Mrs. Snodgrass-"I
think Mrs. Laker must be from Chi.
cago." Mrs. Snivcly-"WhyP" Mrs.
Snodgrass = Because she says o,
lard! SO often" --W West Shore.
David Crockett is to have a monu-
ment down in Tennessee. This is q
reward for Davy's good fortune and
foresight in not being buried In New
York City.-Pitsburg Dispatch.
1t is simple enough to be a great
man; keep Your mouth shut, and when
you see a dollar grab it.-Atchtson
Globe. Grab it any way and explain
to your constituency later.-NeW Or
leans Rcayune.
I'VE sent our young boy to college
writes n German editor, ''and after
three years hard study he didn't know
how to hitch a mule to q wagon aud
couldn't run Il straight furrow to a v
his life. What are these colleges good
for anyhow"
1.-The discovery of America in 1892
was a great event, wasn't it pap" re.
marked q Congressman's son. Eyes,
but it doesn't amount to anything al
all compared to what some of these
politicians are going to discover in
1922 Washington Post.
The Senate has put sponges on the
free list. This is like carrying Goals
to Newcastle. No man ever yet spent
an evening with a sponge who does
not know that these persons are and
always have been on the free list.--N.
7. Commercial Advertiser.
Eiustein -"Didt you hear apout
Cohen? Ven Repecca Sonnesheim
vooldn't marry him, he vent andt took
n kvarter's wort of morphine. Vat
fools some men are.n Minzberger-
Wasn't he. though? Ten cents wort
would haf done der pisness chust as
vell."-1erre Hauts Express.
Bernard Conn, a New Hampshire
farmers man. was scared almost into
commissions while listening to a phono-
graph in Dover, and explained, when
he came to, that he recognized the
voice of a man he had stuck in a boss
trade. Conn, science makes towards
of us all.-Philadelphia Ledger.
A recent issue Of a weekly paper
published at Colmisneil. Tex, appeared
in rather ragged shape. and the fol-
lowing apology appeared in the editor
ial columns: THE cause of delin-
qnency of this Paper, this ishure. Is
that J. Il. Hamlin, has been quite i'll
for several days, and disable to do Of
flee work" Detroit Free Press.
Tansy, mint, thyme. lavender, sweet
brier, sassafras. sweet fern, sweet
maljoram. and half a dozen other de-
lightful aromatic plants once covered
the square IN the garden that is now
devoted to cucumbers, cabbage, and
squash. Maud does not want to come
ihtu tuc Saiueu auy LuOEe until Sne Is
fond of vegetables. - Dallas (7szas)
NeWs.
At d dinner at which Archbishop
Ryan of Philadelphia was present, at
Mount Desert. it Is narrated Walter
Phelps said In the course Of u discus
sion of the Irish question: But you
must admit, Bishop Ryan, that many
practices of the Irish in ireland to-day
are treason" '.Ah, but treason is
reason in Ireland on account of the alb
sent T." retorted the Bishop.
De Montnorency Smith (hoping, yet
feariDg)-''Well, Miss Fitz-Maurfce, |
await your answer" Miss Fitz-Maur-
ice-"I shall have to say no. Mr..
Smith. 1t is possible I might learn to
love you in time, but as an American
| young woman who owes a duty to her
country | cantot consent to become a
member of this Smith family. 1t is too
large already" = Chicago Tribune.
O'Dowd-"But. bedad, the DAYS at
hand. O'Brien, whin there'll be no
tinants in ould Ireland" O'Brien-
"A - ..ls.s.- At..A1, ~, ~ nsn---l ny j..