The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-11-30


their stupidity. A mans ideal woman
that is. the ideal woman for a wife-is, l
fancy, never very witty, and in fact may
be decidedly stupid, but invariably she
must be amiabls, smiling, sweet, patient,
and in word comfortable, and these
qualities seldom exist with wit.
Another mistaken form of wit is the
irrepressible, and this is more often
found among men than women. Who
does not know him, usually middle aged,
often bachelor, but sometimes the
product of course of female adulatjcii
administered by wife, mother and sisters?
Conversation with such person as this
becomes impossible, for he regards what
ever you may say as a mere opening for
his own brilliancy.
II have lost my father since l saw
you," induces the reply:
Hes gone farther but not to fare
worse" or perhaps, Profit and loss l
trust it will prove"
know a person of this sort to whom
it is impossible TO narrate anything; he
is SO busy in looking for an opening for
! his own jokes uAat he cannot follow the
thread of any sUOry or take rational in
terest in any discussion. / once wrote a
note inviting him to lunch to meet a
stranger, but added, And please not to
make any puns and very few jokes, as
| this gentleman is not capable of appre-
ciating humor, and might think himself
| insulted."
Another mistaken humorist is he who
appreciates his own jests more than any
body else does, and begins by saying:
"rll tell You the funniest thing! You'll
Just die of laughing" and laughs so i'm
moderately himself that you can hardly
gather what he says, and feel much
more like yawning than smiling
The most successful manner of testing
is the unconscious, and nobody ever
made me laugh so much as long, lean,
sallow, lantern jawed western man, who
used to sit looking as if he were at his
mothers funeral, and in low, monoto-
nous voice without a smile III it tell sto-
ries absolutely painful in their mirth
compelling quality.
Two most Objectionable forms of hui
NOR are the indicate and the profane,
and am happy in believing that these
are largely going out of fashion among
decent people, or, at any rate, In the pres
ence of people of another turn of mind.
No matter how funny such Jest or
such story may be, it is elnphatically
mistaken form Of wit, and | for one al
ways feel that hay > received an injury
by having an association of ideas forced
upon me which / may never be able to
forget, and by which things that might
reverence or admire, or matters of which
| have hitherto taken no thought, become
subjects of annoyance and modification,
for no woman wishes TO understand. or
to appear to understand, double ente,,-
DIRE, and to force her to do so is both an
insult and an injury.
Another odious form of humoris what
college boys call baziag, and consists in
the united attack of certain number of
persons upon a solitary victim. There
are persons whose lives are made weari-
ness and burden 10 them through this
kind of persecution, who never can get
anybody to treat them seriously. who are
in the position of Victor Hugo's l. HcmDge
q1i Rit, and never open their mouths on
the most solemn or tender subject with
ont being greeted with derision and jo-
cose replies.
This form of humorous persecution is
often seen in families where all seem to
have tacitly agreed to make some one
member the butt OF all the rest, and
have often been present at scenes that
reminded me Of Il pack of terriers wor-
rying poor puss u, able either to escape
or to defend herself OF course it is ''all
in fun" and not maliciously intended,
and probablyif the 7ictiln were seriously
i'll or III great visible affection the ter
riers would become sympathetic broth
ers and sisters, father and mother. hus-
band or wife, butuntil thelnattercomesto
some such issue nobody guesses the pangs
of humiliation. anger. wounded feeling
and even growing hatred that a long
course of mistaken wit can induce in its
object
l have quoted the father whose sons
used irish as u synonym for stupid.
Ounce, or laundering. and also knew
wife and mother to whom nature had
been unkind in inducing an enormous
bulk and unwieldy figure Her husband
was witty man. and his two daughters
inherited this talent rs well as a slight
and elegant figure. No doubt they We're
fond of the mother, who was on her part
blindly devoted to them. but one could |
hardly pass an hour in their society with !
out hearing some jocose allusion to her
pecuharities. Sometimes she was called !
Jumbo" and asked if she could pick !
up needles and hated tailors. and some !
times Barnums fat lady and sometimes I
"Hlppie," as short for hippopotamus. If |
the family went TO drive there was al 4
ways jocose discussion as to the safety !
of the carriage springs and the cruelty |
to the horse.
If she was TO 20 in boat there was /
an cutlery that she must be put in the /
or plenty Of ballast taken in to 1
counterbalance her weight. or a wonder |
If the sheathing of the boat would stand |
such pressure; in fact, the manners and |
forms of gibe were manifold. but all 1
came to the same end. and in spite of 4
great self control and dignity on the /
part of the sufferer, | have too often |
seen the sudden flush. or the compressed /
lips. or the ghstening eve. 70 doubt /
the family victim felt her posi-
ton OF not. At last the ia,her died. and /
it was observed that the widow did not
mourn as one utterly broken hearted.