Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-10-30
A RUN OF LUCK.

ARUN OF LUCK.
"And you mean to say that your train
crossed the chasm where the bridge had
burned without being wrecked2 Re-
markablel What kept it from going
down."
Gas good luck would have it, lust at
that moment it was being held up by
train robbers. ~ Chicago Post.
NOT IN HIS LINE.
Poet-The new $1,000 bills have a
portrait of General Meade.
Fricnd-How in the world do you
know thate-[ Brooklyn Life.
HIS SHOCKING MISTAKE.
Johnson trying to be polite to wall
fiower)-May | have the pleasure of the
next waltz with you, Miss Oldboy2
Miss Oldboy FISHING for compli-
men0-Thank you, Mr.. johnson; but
couldn't you find some younger and
prettier girll
Johnson-Oh, yes, but hate to dance
with young and pretty girls. The Ar
COSY.
MANAGING TRAMPs.
Mistress Did anyone call while was
out?
Servant-No one, ma'am, exceptin' a
tramp. He wanted somethin' to eat !;
but told him there was nothin' ready,
an he'd have to wait till th' Teddy of the
house got back from cooking school, an
mebby she'd make him something.
Mistress-Of all things Did he watt
nt No ,,nf,
New York Weekly.
A SOURCE OF GAIN.
"Blobson," said the millionaire, ''here
are twenty begging letters. Give them
all REFUSAL u
"Yes, sir"
"You will note that two-cent stamp
is inclosed in each for an answer.n
eyes, sir"
"Well, answer them all on postals. y
American Stationer.
EQUALLY COMPLIMENTARY.
Johnson-Did Brown say that 1 had
told him lie2
Bronson-Oh, no, indeed. He said
that he believed that you had accidently
told him the truth Munsey's Weekly.
UNDAUNTED.
The Daughter-How dare you fairly
pound my door down2
The Book Fiend-I beg your pardon,
have disturbed you3
Disturbed Fly or I'll call the police
You have walked our baby"
"Oh. Well just let me get him to
sleep for you while you look over copy
of THE Sings and Arrows of Out
rageous Fortune'-only ST. Texas Sift-
ings.
THE DEAR GIRLS.
Ethel-IIavc you ever noticed that
there is something depressing in the
darkness2
Maud-No, but I have often noticed
something pressing. New York Her
aid.
WHAT CITY GIRLS MISS.
Modern Miss (wearilO-Life doesn't
seem worth living, aunty.
Aunty-I don't wonder, stuck up here
in stuify fiat. What girl of your ag,
ought to have is nice little flower gar
den and Il good, strong, old-fashioned
front gate.- Good News.
Customcr--Lookee here, waiter, this
roll is stale !
Waiter-How can l help it ? Why
didn't you come yesterday 3 San Fran
cisco Wasp.
THE FINEST FLOWER.
"The subject of a national flower il
being discussed a great deal now, Mis-:
Minnie" remarked visitor at Minneap
oils, to a maiden of that city. "What dc
you think about it?"
"Well, " replied Miss Minnie, 81 think
papa's fancy winter wheat flour rather
takes the biscuit"
BEARING THE MARKET.
Wibbles-See here, Wobbles, what are
you doing on the street with linen dus-
tar and fan this time of year2
Wobbles 1 am going to order some
coal, and don't want the dealer to slap
up prices on me- New York Weekly.
HoNoRs ARE EASY.
"Your habits will be the death of me, y
said Mrs. Hirshley.
"Well, your costumes are running me, "
retorted Mr.. II.
DURING CoURTsHIP.
She-There seems to be something
more aristocratic about electric light than
about gas.
He-Yes. The gas is often low. = New
York Herald.
Longest Word on Record.