River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1890-12-11
PIN AND eolnr.


When a man talks of good-natured
criticism he mean that which he gives;
never that which he receives. -Atchison
Globe.
-He-"Wnl you marry me?" She
(piayfully1-"Ah, dearest, what a risk
you are running" He-"I know it, but
] always was a reckless dog. The
Epoch.
Lets cross over, here comes Bunk
er. He's the sleepiest man / ever met"
"You can't blame himl Remember that
he is with himself all the time."-Har-
per's Bazaar.
The Happy Couple. -She-"Mr. and
Mrs. Franklin's married life was very
happy one, | suppose?" He-"Yes-
very. They didn't live together, you
know. Judge.
Your safety matches are good for
nothing. ] can't make them burn al
all" well, what de you want with
more safety than such matches as
those?" Fliegende Blatter.
-Landlady-"What would you call
beefsteak. Mr.. Cutely? An entree or
-?r Star Boarder-"lf it is all like this
] would put it among the pieces de re-
STANDARDIZATION Traveller.
On a Cyclones Wings. -Kaw-''He
travelled hundred miles in ten min
utes." Hooks-"It must have taken his
breath away" Kaw-''Well, he was
pretty well blown. -Munsey's Weekly.
Only think" said Maud, they
used to say that the drama was going
TO the dogs. Now the puppies seem to
be going to the drama" and she swept
with her eyes the rows of seats filled
with turbulent immaturity. - Boston
Transcript
What does it representa-" inquired
the visitor, as he stood before the
gorgeously-colored canvas in the parlor
of Mr.. Gaswell and strove to deciper its
! meaning. That there paintin'." said
the millionaire proudly. frame and all.
represents nigh onto 800.
Laudlady That new boarder
needn't try to make me think he is
bachelor. He's either married or is
widower." Millings-"liOw can you
tell?" Landlady-"H always turns his
back to me when he opens his pocket
book TO pay his board Spare Mo-
ments.
Fashions Slaves -Husband-.Y
women are regular slaves OF fashion.
Wife, know it. my dear. What was
/ il you wanted me to do for you?' Hus-
band-"0h yes, | forgot. Those two
buttons on the back of my coat just
above the coat tails are loose. | wish
you'd sew them on. food News.
"A verdant gentleman whose CORE
srondence is limited received letter,
/ upon the envelope of which was the
conventional business card: After five
/ lays return to-" The epistle was care
fully porused and preserved until tho
I expiration OF tho allotted five DAYS.
when it was returned to the writer.
The Problem Solved Wife Qoolx-
/ ing up from book THE writer says
/ that half the miseries of married life
comes from the fact that wives do not
t have a certain, regular sum per week to
spend as they please. Husband
True; and the other half of the misery
somes from the fact that husbands do
/ not have a certain, regular sum per
week to spend as they please. N Y.
Weekly.
/ The "happiest hour of woman's life"
| Il puzZling some OF the philosophers.
| Is it when she becomes a happy wife,
/ And every JOY obtainable is hers2
4 Or Il it when love steals into her heart.
And ring is placed upon taper finger?
I DR. when she masters eli yer things In art
As painter, sculptor. or "a opera singer?
No. None of these be woman's happiest
/ hour
1t Il when she a heavy draft careesses
| Ard starts for EuFOpe on wedding tour
With sarat gas fr.i of stylish dresses
Pittsburgh Dispatch.