The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1890-04-01
THE LIME-KILN CLUB.

w nCA g44C AOO4 0444NON 4O4 OpC1l1R Ill
meeting Brother Gardner was still absent,
much to the surprise of the hundred or
more members present. Waiting until
five minutes past the regular hour, Sir
Issac Walpole took the chair and opened
the meeting in due and anc: ent form. 1t
was plain from the start that a number of
the members were determined to frisk,
and the meeting had hardly opened when
Lord Simcoe Rambo popped up and an
nounced that he arose to a question of
privilege.
OUT OF ORDER.
"You is out of order, Brudder Rambo,"
blandly replied Sir Isaac.
Chow SOP"
"Bekase we must take up de bizness in
regular order"
~ appeals from dat decision, sah!"
Support de appeal!' came from half
a dozen voices.
81 shall refuse to entertain de appeal"
said Sir Isaac. De bizness will go on in
its regular order"
appeal Appeal"
He raped for order, and during the
confusion General Bedrock Hamilton
arose to
A POINT OF D
Re began by saying that up to the year
1850 no lnhabitant of the Old World had
the least idea that there was a mighty
continent to the west of them. The ocean
was supposed to stretch away to the end
Of space and that one sailing up to the
west might sail on forever and ever. The
The way Columbus happened to get his
idea was by accidentally observing a col
ored man carrying off a watermelon. He
noticed
Estate your pint Of order, sah!" inter
rupted Sir Isaac.
"Ize gwine to, sab, but gin me time"
"How much time does you want2"
"Half an hour"
"You will please sot down. De char
rules your pint Of order out of order"
Appeal! Appeal" shouted twenty
members.
81 shan't entertain no appeal!'
appeal! Queshunl Appeal! Caesar
ism! Neroisml !" howled a good share Of
the members as they rose to their feet
and gesticulated and pranced around.
They were still at it, and confusion
reigned supreme when Samuel Shin sud-
denly uttered a yell Of terror and went
flying over a seat. Lord Rambo was
gathered up from behind and flung under
a bench, while Elder Toots, who was
pounding o. the stove and crying Hear!
Hear!" suddenly disappeared in the wood
bOx-all but his generous feet and ankles.
Three or four other members sat down on
the floor with a great jar, and then silence
fell upon Paradise Hall-silence so pro-
found that the sound Of a rat gnawing on
a carrot in the grocery below reached
every ear in the hall. Brother Gardner
had arrived. He stood and looked around
for a moment and then walked to his
place, relieved Sir Isaac and calmly in
quired:
SIS dar any odder brudder who desires
to appeal from de decisions of dis char?
If so, now is a good time"
No n wanted to, and he turned to
the secretary and continued:
"Brudder Seckretary, you will take up
de regular order of bizness."
MADE A MISTAKE.
Sometime ago a citizen of Eufaula,
Ala, named Rigid Jackson, applied for
honorary membership, and the committee
appointed to investigate his character
learned that he had served two years in
prison for stealing a hog. His application
was of course rejected, but now the Sec
rotary announced communication, signed
by several leading citizens Of the town, to
the effect that a mistake had been made.
There were two Jacksons in Eufaula-
Rigid and Timber. While Timber had
stolen hogs, dogs, calves, mules and any
thing else he could lay hands on, Rigid
was honest and upright, and could cotton
hook a bale of cotton in twenty-six differ
ent styles without injury to the compress.
As it was clearly a case of mistaken
identity, the old committee of investiga-
ton were asked to look after the case and
report at the mex meeting.
DON'T TRUST HIN.
The secretary then read the following,
dated at College City, Cal:
COLLEGE Cry. CAL, Feb. II.
Brother Gardner of the Line Kiln Club:
DEAR SIR:-There is a colored man bv
the name of Pickles Smith, who lives in
Arbuckle, Colusa county, Cal. He claims
to be a member Of your honorable club
and wishes to borrow $500 from me. He
offers me a warrant on the treasurer of
the Lime Kiln Club for the same. 7
would like to know if you would be re-
sponsible for the amount. Hoping to
hear from you through the Detroit Tree
Press, l remain,
Yours truly, W. J. s.
Pickles Smith, who had been working
away at a hard corn at the bottom of his
foot ever since the meeting opened, now
bobbed up with:
"Misser President, dat pusson is a viol
impostor, an I want dis club to offer a
reward of at least"
"Brudder Smith, sot DOWN. interrupt
ed the president, and he brought his gaVel
down with a bang. while we all know
dat de pusson alluded to can't be you, you
would probably try to borry $500 of a
stranger as quick as anybody else. De
seckretary will notify every town on de
Pacific Slope to look out fur de man an