The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1890-06-07
WIT AND HUMOR.

-It1uS oVftn1S.
II is the man who can't sing that
seems anxious that every one should
know IT,. Ionkers Statesman.
Sunday-School Teacher What Is
more TO be desired than great richest"
Chorus OF Scholars "Nothin'r'--N T.
Herald.
You say that drinking Is one of
your husbands failuresp" 'sFailuresP
D. no. II is one OF his successes. ~
y. Ledger.
The dude Is regarded rs in some re-
spccts the most elegant OF the many
patterns of cigarette-holders. - Wash
iHgton Post.
Sometimes the Office seeks the man,
bat generally the man knows when
the Office Is on his track. Rochester
P0St-Erprcss.
Artful Dodgcr--"Q Quite spell we're
having" Officer Quitting on the hand
cuifs) Yes, quite cold snap
Boston Herald.
Are You still out in the country"
''Out! should say ! was. | am out
Just the cost OF my farm aud two years
taxes.m-N. " sun
Her feet ilew.n read Ichabod, bat
Jonathan spoiled the climax by saying.
Then she must have had soar toes"
-Binghanfon Republican.
Orderly Sergeant 10 Recruit (who
has his mouth wide opcn) BE good
enough TO close your reporting APP
paratus. FtiegeRde Btattcr.
II generally turns out that. sooner or
later, every Napoleon of Finance"
bumps up 10 his sorrow against Well
ington OF Justice 49, Philadelphia Press.
The real autocrat of the breakfast
table wears big apron. carries a tray.
and doesn't bring i'm the coffee until no
gets good and ready. = Washington Post.
There are few things in the world
really worth getting angry about, but
there are lots OF things that justify a
man in getting mad. -SoDseruittc Jour-
nal
"They say all good Americans go to
Paris when they die Yes. all ex-
cept the messenger BOYS" Where do
they goP" ITO Philadelphia. ~ T.
Sun.
Agnes-''l should think those long
tunnels would be very dangerous while
travelling" Mabel-"They are. II you
are not engaged. "-Bnriington Free
Press.
He--"They say II takes three gener-
atoms TO make gentleman" She
Indeed What pleasant prospect
for your grandson. ~ Cgothier and Fur
niSher.
A man has 10 have moral courage TO
refrain from looking sidewise at the
letter his next neighbor in the horse
car is diligently reading A woman
can't do 1t, anyway. --lS0nicruitte Jour
nal
What Is Old Probabiitiesp" asked
Willie. who had been listening 10 the
conversation about the weather. 1T
Is glazing misnomer." replied an old
gentleman with sigh Washington
Post
At the Theater Box-Oflice: us every
thing full alreadyP Haven't you even
one seat for mcpn Cashier-''Don't
be troubled. If YOU will wait till tho
second act there will be plenty Of
room. Fyiegcade Biaetter
IL am from Philadelphia, " remarked
Mr.. Chestnut as he took the pen to
register at New York hotel "All
right, replied the clerk; "I'll send
boy to your room with you To show you
how TO turn of the gas. ~ Y. Sun:
Ho-"IIow frank Il Is for Miss Hard
he'd TO own to being SO when she would
easily pass for 20 years of age" She
--''She isn't more than 10. She gets
$l7 week for ascribing her good looks
to Peaches soap, -7ervc Haate Er-
press.
New Girl--"Therc's one thing don't
like about the master. He keeps call
ing me my dear Mrs. Fig-'O,
YOU mustn't mind that. It's only
habit OF his. Why he even addresses
me that way sometimes. 1erre Haate
Express.
Brown--"Old Pccksnif Is the most
religious man / ever saw He kept
dinner waiting over fifteen minutes to-
day while he said grace Merritt
Yet know when he holds fellows
note he doesn't give him moments
grace. "-Epoch.
Mamma We'll Nellie. what did
you learn at the Sunday-school to-
daygn Nellie--'sIhat | must sell three
tickets for the concert next week. give
20 cents TO buy present for the SUI
perintendent. and-that Noah built tho
ark. ~ Y. Herald.
Old Friend unexpected arrivaD--
"And SO this Is your daughters com
ing-out partyY Practical Mother
Yes. and II hadn't put my veto on
those dressmakers she would have
been out good deal further than she
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