davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1890-01-25
The Conscientious Broker.

I heard q very clever story on a
prominent broker a few days ago-a
man whose name am not at liberty to
discuss, though may say that he is
well known as picture buyer. This
broker had some mining stock which
he had long regarded as worthless, and
one day when he found an opportunity
to get rid of it at pretty fair consid-
Grafton, he was very happy. That very
night, however, after he went home, he
received a telegram announcing that
this mine, of which he had sold the
stock, had developed lead of extraor-
binary richness. An hour afterward
the purchaser of the stock received a
telegram from the broker, who desired
to see him Immediately upon a subject
of great Importance. The buyer called
and was told by the servant that the
broker was very i'll and could not be
seen.
But I must see him: I have been
sent for by him not half an hour ago"
The servant went upstairs and
brought back word that the visitor
might go up.
The broker was in bed, moaning with
pain. The lights were turned low.
When the visitor entered the broker
began:
my dear Jones, have had to-day
another of the dreadful attacks 1 am
subject to, and / am afraid this last
one is going to do me up 1 sent for
you to confess that have taken ad-
vantage of you in business transact
ion, and want to make reparation be-
fore 1 die. That mining stock [ sold
you to-day was really worthless, and it
troubles me that 1 took advantage of
you"
"Oh, nonsense; that is all right. 1
didn't pay you much for it and L can
easily sell it to somebody else"
"No, that will not do. 1 want to
take it back and pay you back your
money. 1 can't rest until 1 have made
this right"
"Oh, well if you feel that way, of
course will give you it back"
"Very we'll, and while am able to
sign check L will prepare one, and, in
the meanwhile, you can bring back the
stock"
The visitor went home, got the stock,
and returning it, received the check
which the now utterly exhausted brok-
er had filed out for him. He went |
away musing upon the vicissitudes of
human life and filed with profound
sympathy for the sorrowing family of
the rapidly sinking broker.
And the broker? The moment his
customer was out of the house he leap
ed out of bed and gleefully danced |
around the room in a manner that |
would have aroused the envy of Car
could she have seen it. But |
the customer, next dsy, when he learn
ed of the rise In the value of the stock,
metaphorically kicked himself for his |
in being taken in by a brok-
er's conscience. Indianapolis Trib-
lLle,
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1890-01-25

having rummaged the Office in search
of match.
%HushIS she whispered, after pause.
@There they are
The house was q pine box structure,
and stood on the edge of the wood. I
stole out, bidding Ella stay within,
and turned the corner. The under
growth rustled and q dark form ap-
peared. It walked up to the rear Of
the building and fixed a big mass of
stuff beneath the SILL Then it struck
match. 1 fired. A shot answered
mine and my pistol dropped from my
hand. Ny arm was broken. Stimuli
taneous with this came a report from
behind me, which was answered with a
groan from the wood. Then all was
still.
The next and last issue of the Sen
ti1eI contained the report of the Coro-
ner's jury. 1t showed that 1 killed Jim
Costing, and that Ella had put bull
let through Hank Best's knee. Hanks
wound kept him from running way,
but it did not keep him from running
into the penitentiary. Ella and I ran
into matrimony.
Gases" In town are better than a
proprietorship in the country, although
the incidents of the latter are much
more exciting. But the chance of getting
even half as good a wife as Ella is
enough to make fellow take an army
press, barrel of long primer, and
start to Oklahoma.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1890-01-25

"I b'Iong to the Baptisses, I do.
Tilda-thet's my wife thar-she b'longs
to the Hardshell Baptisses, the no
'countest church in these hyar noun
tings. Nance thar's been threatnin'
ter iine the Methodisses, but if she do
I'll drub her till she CANT holler."
The wife made no reply to the fling
at her faith, but Nance glared at her
father, and then, bringing her fist down
on the table SO fiercely that the dishes
danced, she cried:
"I'll jine-T1l jine-Tll iine-Tl be
damned eff don't iinel" and turning
over her chair she fed the room. bang
ing the door behind her as she went.
Old Melton said nothing, but he
clinched his teeth with an ominous sig
nificance.
Supper over and the table cleared off,
the old man went to the kitchen door
and called for Nance.
what do yo' want?" inquired the
girl.
Il want yo' to come an play us a
chune on the organette."
II won't"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1890-01-25
Caught Mapping.

Stranger-Beg pardon for interrupt
ing, but you probably noticed in the
papers this morning that Lord Nabob,
who is on a visit to this county, met
with an accident in the park yester-
day. He is stranger here, and some
prominent citizen like yourself should
see that he receives proper atten-
ton.
Business Man much fattered)-
Really, I had not thought much of it,
but
Stranger-You probably noticed in
the paper, too, that six persons were
injured yesterday in a subway ex-
plosion.
"Why, yes. We're there any lords
among them?
Possibly. No telling. Two men
were killed yesterday by electric
wires"
II noticed that; but"
"AAnd number of persons were run
over"
"Yes, but the lord"
"Ah, yes. The Lord wills, and we
must bow; but our families should not
be forgotten, sir; and as we are hodr-
~ exposed to these dangers, I thought
possibly you might wish to get in
sured in the 'Sure-Pop Life and Acct
dent Company of which I am an
agent. "-NelU York Weekly.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1890-01-25

ter act, low yo'd better stay with
we'uns. We haint much t offer, but
sech ez we hev yo're welcome to-"
Milford leaped from his saddle, threw
the reins over a sapling bough, and
bounded gracefully over the grass into
the cabin. He was a tall, slender,
handsome young fellow, with blonde
hair, a beardless face, and large, blue,
winning eyes, that sparkled with humor
or scintillated with wrath according to
his varying moods.
Mrs. Melton was sitting before the
huge fireplace, industriously dipping
snuff She was a lank and angular
woman of forty, barefooted and dressed
In homespun. She rose as MILFORD
came in, responding to his bow with a
queer little bob of her head, and then
withdrew into the kitchen.
The room in which MILFORD found
himself was large and trinity kept. A
bedstead stood In one corner, while a
row of rush-bottom chairs, table and
spinning-wheel completed the stock
of furniture. On the log walls of the
cabin were tackled a few unframed
photographs of family relations, while
on the mantel was little mirror in a
pine-cone frame.
Mrs. Melton returned presently, and
began to spread the table for supper.
While bringing in the last dishes, a
large, bony. and sallow girl ran into
the room, her garments dripping with
rain and clinging close to her stalwart
frame.
"Whoop-ee! but wusn't I skeered !"
The Gghtnin' struck tree not"
She stopped short on seeing Will
ford, her eyes flashed with anger,
and she ran out of the room as I'M
tremendously as she had come into it.
"Thet thar's my darter Nance" re-
marked old Melton; "an' she's the
smartest gal in these hyar mountings.
She wus sorter set back when she seed
yo', but she'll come in arter erwhile an
play US a chune on the organette.
Nance is a pow'ful hand at the organ
cite, Nance Is"
"Supper's ready" vouchsafed Mrs.
Melton, in high, cracked voice. sit
thar. stranger, an reach fer yo'self"
Old Melton bowed his head, said
grace with all the gravity of a minis
ter, and then plunged headlong into
discussion of religion.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1890-01-25

1t Was Q woman's voice-Nance's
voice-and MILFORD hurried forward
through the binding rain and dark
ness of the wretched night, till he
stood In front of the towering boulders
that shut In the still.
Damn vol" he heard Melton pant.
~you disgrace yo'self an yo' fambly
afore strangers sgin, viii yo'i Yoil
jine the Methodisses, will yo'?s and
with that he struck his daughter q
fearful blow, causing her to reel for
ward at the feet of the young man
SDog!" cried MILFORD, devil Take
that!" and throttling Melton, he dashed
him against the rocky wall and struck
him between the eyes.
Melton drew revolver, but, before
he could use it, MILFORD wrested it
from his hand, and knocked him head
long into the shelter of the still.
"Ha!" cried MILFORD, as a vivid flash
of lightning revealed the character of
his surroundings. "A moonshiner, I
see. Thought as much, and, taking
pair of handouts from his pocket.
he clasped them on the wrists of the
PROSTATE man.
"You will come with me-" he con-
tinued, dragging his prisoner into the
open air. you will come with me.
I have been looking for this still of
yours since last December, but 1
wouldn't have found it if you hadn't
been the brute that you are"
Stunned, confused, the old man
staOoered tn his feet
"What is hit, daddy? Why don't
yo' speak?"
It was the daughter who spoke-it
was the bruised and bleeding daughter
who now flung her apron around the
old man, and kissed his wrinkled face.
"Hit's all up with we'uns, Nance"
answered the old man in husky voice
"Hit's all up with we'uns. This feller's
a detective"
II knowed hit, daddy knowed hit.
He's been prowlin' round hyar all day.
I'd a-told yo', but seed he hadn't dis
hvered the still, an I didn't want his
blood on yo' hands. But" and she
Kissed the words through her set
teeth, I'D a warned yo' when 1 went
home eff I'd a knowed hit d come ter
this"
The party went back to the cabin,
and at daybreak MILFORD prepared to
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1890-01-25
Was Wild Him.

An old negro who was sleeping alone
In a cabin was awakened by noise in
the room, and striking a light, saw q
man attempting to open a drawer.
"Whut you doin' dar? ?"
The robber, himself a negro, an
swered: "Tryin' ter see what you got
in dis house"
%Dar amt nothin' yere dat longs ter
you"
viii long ter me when I gifts my
hans on it"
Look yere, generman, tell you whut
I'll do. I'll shoot craps wild you right
here"
~Pse wild you," the robber answered.
Fetch out yo' bones. "-Arkansau
TTdUeler.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1890-01-25
Practical.

According to the philosophers every
thing has two uses, q lower and q
higher. Some very common people
find this out for themselves, so far, at
least, as the practical application of it
is concerned.
The daughter of the rector of q
parish In East London-over-the-b border
taught the choir boys a new tune at q
Monday evenings rehearsal, to be sung
on the following Sunday. Sunday
morning came.
well, Johnny" said Miss x, %I
hope you haven't forgotten the new
tune, for we depend much on you"
NAV, mum, not bit. I've been q
skeering the crows with it all the
week"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1890-01-25
Wanted to Satisfy Him.

Prominent Citizen-Slade of Metro
politan Hotel has just killed another
feller-tourist from the East som'eres,
Second Prominent Citizen-What
was the teller doin' to Slade?
@Nuthjn' only givin' his orders.
Wanted a fire in his room, weather
strips on the door, soap, to~gel, hot wa
ter, more quilts, and 1 fergit what
else. An Slade shot him.
"Oh, I s'pose Slade reckcned il was
a pity that a Teller who wanted
heaven so bad shouldn't have it,
M1Gnseys Weekly.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1890-01-25
Rough on the Roof:

Builder want you to do some
thing for me.
Friend-What is it?
You see this house is almost finished.
excepting shingling the roof.
$50 1 perceive"
well, l want you to look around
and see If you can't find thin car
penter who does not weigh more than
12O pounds. must have light car.
penter to put on those shingles. If Q
heavy man goes up on that roof the
whole house viii tumble in"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1890-01-25
He Found Job.

HAS your husband found work vet.
Mrs. Mccarthy?
He hez tibet, mum. He's a picter
hanger"
A picture hanger? Why, 1 supposed
that required artistic skill and a good
deal of taste"
paste, indade it does, mum. Il
takes dale av paste, sure. The poor
bye carries a bucket av it wild him all
day, and then sometimes he can't make
the blissed picters stick to them ouId
boards at all, at ALL
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1890-01-25
STUFF AND NONSENSE

SET in her ways-a brooding hen.
A swALLow-TAIL-the story Of Jonah
and the whale.
FIRST mattress-How do you feeIf
Second mattress-Ful as q tick.
THE monkey goes to the sunny side
of the tree when he wants a warmer
climb.
PRAYERS may go begging for an
answer, but ~What'n you have p never
does.
PUTIN patched dime in the collec-
ton box is like buyin' scalper's ticket
to heaven.
SOUP a la Jay Gould-take q little
stock, six times as much water, and
then put in the lamb.
TEACHER = Anonymous means
without a name Give an example,
Miss Griggs." Miss Griggs-@My baby
sister is anonymous"
LoAFER = How are you? Just
thought I'd drop in a while to kill
time. Busy Maxwell, we don't want
any of our time killed.
BRowN-How time flies. Jenkins-I
am not aware of its speedy passage.
B.-Then you have not note to pay.
J.-No; hold yours.
BLooDGooD-Silby always reminds
me of q breeze that comes before 9
summers rainstorm. Travis-Why?
Because" answered Bloodgood, ~he
is so fresh.
"THIs is little late for you to be out,
isn't it, Peck? Aren't you afraid your
wife will miss your" Mr.. n Peck-I
hope she will. She can fling things
pretty straight, though.
Mrs. HINTON (recently married)-
Did you know my husband was very i'll?
Miss Carrington-Is suppose he must be,
my dear. Before he married you he
told me I had broken his heart.
VIsIToR-(to bereaved widow Your
husband, I understand, was killed In
factory? Widow-Alas, yes; poor dear
William was reckoned a smart man,
but he didn't know much about fly
wheels.
STATIoN-MA sTER-Come, come, my
good man, you mustn't walk on the
track. Tramp (disgustedly)-The con-
ductor says 1 can't ride, and you say l
can't walk. What's your blamed old
road here for, anyway?
WILLIE wonder why can't make
my kite fly? Elder sister-Perhaps
the caudal appendage is dispropor-
tomato to the superficial area. Willie
I don't think that's it. Ibelieve there
isn't weig ht enough on the tail.
Mrs. STATESMAN you know, sir,
that you came home last night in an ut
terly disgraceful condition? Mr.. States
man Swallowing about a quart of wa
ter)-"Woman, do you know that the
time of year has arrived when the
country"has to be saved again?
Mrs. SKINNPHLINT Josiah, don't
you think Johnny's hair needs cutting?
Mr.. Skinntlint docking up from his
paper)-How long is it till Christmas
A little over five weeks. (Resuming
his paper)-All right, I'll give him
haircut for Christmas present.
A COMPLICATED FUNERAL.
o bury my arms in dear Mexico.
And bury my heart in the South.
bury my legs in the State of New York,
In Georgia please bury my mouth.
For heve been married at least four
times,
To spouses who've laid down their lives,
And now that I'm dead 1 wish to be
placed
At the side of my various wives.
BRowN-And so you have got first
rate cook? What paper did you adyer-
tise in? Fogg-Didn't advertise In any.
My wife told Mrs. Gray we wanted 8
girl, but made her promise not to tell
"Well?" well, we had
the door-bell ringing for a fortnight
from morning till night. No less than
a hundred applications for the place."
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1890-01-25

The parent who sends his son into
the world uneducated and without
skill In any art or science does q great
injury to mankind as well as to his own
family, FOR he defrauds the comuni : Il
useful citizen and bequeaths TO Il
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1890-01-25
now 1 Ran MO MATRIMOSY.
RY CHARLES 8. BLACKBURN.

WAS $ letting
type In q South
ern State. The
editor of the pa
per was q know
nothin' fellow
who made up for
his lack of knowl-
edge by the free
use of big words.
He knew nothing
of the printing
bu sin e S s, an d
could learn moth
ing; if alive now,
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1890-01-25

THE only privilege of the original man
is that, like other sovereign princes,
he has the right to call In the cur
rent coin and reissue it stamped with
his own image.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1890-01-25

start with his prisoner for Cookeville.
They had proceeded less than
twenty yards from the door, when the
sharp report of rifle was heard, and
MILFORD reeled from his saddle-dead.
At the same moment the white, tense
desperate face of Nance vanished from
the open window.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1890-01-25
M OWN 1LL1noIA
BIZ EVA xArHAR1NE CLAP.

There 10 many pleasant land that lies
Under the sky unfurled,
Countries fair whose beauty rare
Is the theme of half the world;
But in each wanderers heart OF hearts,
Could his true choice be known,
Ever you'll find inscribed the name
OF the land he calls his own
And to me. there is haunting melody,
That no discord doth destroy,
In the soft sonorous title OF
own
Illinois.
claim for her no legends,
like the German for his Rhine,
She does not boast the classic palm,
Nor vet the gothic pine;
But ike some gray-eyed, brown-haired maid,
Not blonde nor dark brunette,
The temperate charm that is her own
Her lovers ne'er forget.
From tropic sun, or arctic seas,
No fierce extremes alloy
The hope-inspinng air that sweeps
My
own
Illinois.
How bIithely DER her fertile fields
The prairie breezes blow
Across the level corn lands,
Where a nation haryests grow.
The royal Mississippi laves
Her golden sunset side;
Cleans on her brow Lake Michigan,
= cOrCQdl OF
Her stately Garden City towers
With worthy pride up-buOy
Above Ill Would-be rival States
Ny
Own
Illinois.
Dear State. the CLINT Of thy wild flower,
The song of thy wild bird,
We're of color. and Of music,
All my childhood saw or HEARD
Thrilling, like scents Of paradise,
Across these dusty years,
They still make tenderest memories
That tremble into tears.
Untouched by bitterness, and, like
childs kiss, sweet and coy,
Drifts back the dream Of innocence IN
My
Own
Illinois.
When on me dawns that fateful hour
The Archer Deaths own time
Perchance his shaft NAV still this heart
In some far 70 reign cline.
But pray that my dreamless dust may sleep
Where his song of reckless Joy
The blackbird pipes to the prairie sod
In my
Own
Illinois.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1890-01-25
AT THE OPEN WINDOW.
BY WILL HUBBARD HERMAN.

ALLING WATER is
the name of the most
picturesque spot in
Northumberland coun-
try of Tennessee. It
is situated a few miles
south of Cookeville,
and is one of the first
places visited by tour
lists who venture up
to that highland vii
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1890-01-25

"Ah, Mrs. Blackstreet, it's very lucky
l did not meet you at the time that pic
ture was taken"
~Ah, Doctor, I'm afraid you are a
fatterer. Do you mean lucky for me?"
AAhem, no, not exactly. Lucky for
mo
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1890-11-07

for miles i'll the parks and country under
the safe and close protection Of the man
she likes best in the world, and with every
opportunity to "brenthe her affection down
his back" but the greatest aid to the pill
ion will not be the style of the girl but the
style OF the horse
Everybody knows that "cobs" are now in
fashion-srrong, square backed animals,
capable, of carrying two or even more for
long distances without much fatigue. One
girl, or even one man, on these large wide
backed creatures looks rather isolated and
forlorn and rs this age is without argu-
ment utilitariun, the statement advanced
horses will be rclegated while the fud
eDdares to the race track; the Arabian
eourser to poetry, and animals like those
in Rosa Bonheur's Horse Fair'-horscs
with broad backs, the flatter toward The
tail the bctter-wiIl have everything their
own way in Central park.
And now as to the pace required to in
sure comfort and safety. 1t has already
been stated that the pleasure of the pillion
is dependent on circun,stances-the first OF
which is the pace Of the animal the pair
ride upon. He must not go with a long,
launching gait, or the poor woman would
roll like boat in rough sea. A quiet,
regular jog trot, never lifting the feet high
above the ground, is the. gait the horse
must travel. This trot is just the next de-
gree in swiftness to walk, n pace into
which horses naturally fall, and which,
when their spirits. are not too high, they
seem to prefer to any other.
Provided these conditions are preserved,
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1890-11-07
also that the horse is strong enough Tor
the weight of two persons, both animal

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