The Newberry herald and news. (Newberry, S.C.) 1884-1903, 1890-07-31

IlcSStNl ID IllC Illt&ll liit<S NSii'iN> WA
the poor nuisance.
"If thou hast nothing to pay, why
should he not stand thee up in the YES
tibule:
1T is a cold day for the stranger.
"He that giveth his seat toa oastranger,
of Il surety he shall smart for it.
"If thou hast stricken thy hand with
Il stranger, thou art shared with the
words of thy mouth
Or it may be that you will be led into |
the Church OF Saint Greedy Ownself:
whence you will probably run before
you get through reading the tablet.
"Come early, and secure your own |
pew before anybody else can get into
il.
"Count your hymn-books carefully |
the first thing.
IF one is nissing,-the old one with
the backs torn of, crane your neck in
various directions, looking into the
NelTnOOIluS peNS io4 IL.
IF you cannot find it, take the best
one within reach, in place Of it. This is
a Christian duty. Paul says, If any
provide not for his own, he is worse
than an infidei.'
Hold one hymn-book in your hand,
and sit on the others until the rest Of
your family arrive. Look pious all the
time. If you see any one looking around
for hymn-book, bow your head upon
the back Of the pew in meditation, and
they won't disturb YOU. Besides: it is
a proper attitude, and that is what you
are here for.
"When your family is supplied, if
there is one book over, hide it under
the cushion. If you lend it, you may
never see it again.
Leave strict orders with the sexton
to seat no one in your pew, as you may
bring friends to church with you. (He
knows you haven't 4 friend in the
world YOU would share anything with,
but never mind
"If you find u stranger in your pew,
stare at him until he walks out. 1fhe
won't walk out, sit down and make it
pleasant for him. Crowd him into the
corner. Push all the Bibles and hymn
books Into the other end Of the pew.
Turn your back on him when you rise
to sing, and sing loud out of your own
book, holding it so that he can't see. If
he is one of these prayer-meeting Chris
tians who knows the hymn-book by |
heart, when he begins to sing, do you
stop singing and look at him, very
much as q cat might look at robin.
IF the stranger should come in late,
and ask you for the number Of the
hymn, or for the text, look out of the
window. Or, if you desire to be elab-
orately but chillingly polite, say I
dunno If, after service, he ventures
to say that he enjoyed the sermon, say |
Huh" and hurry away. He may want
to borrow money Of you.
'Should the pastor ask you who
were the strangers in your pew, say
you don't know and you don't care,
but you hope they'll sit somewhere
else if ever they come again. Say TINS
so the strangers will hear it. Then |
they will wonder how on earth you
can get such fine clothes on over your
bristles without tearing them all to |
pieces.
IF woman with q child gets into |
your pew, glare at the child every time
the little one moves. When you speak
of it to your neighbor, man whom |
YOU really love-has 4 night-latch on
his pew-door-call the child brat.
Smile pleasantly when you hear the
sexton trying to coax your dog out Of
the church. That dog IS too cute for
anything. Might let him stay in: he
wouldn't bother anybody"
And, again, it may be that by some
mistake you stumble into the Church
of the SamaritanS. You have no deal
ings with these fellows, and you would
back out as soon as you see where You
are going: but the Samaritans are VIDE
with some very informal no.
tions about church etiquette. The SEX
ton Standing on the porch, sees you are
4 stranger, and the minute You pause
heSitatngly it, front of the church you
ar. lis. n" hvpnotiZes YOU with
cheerful not 1nI 4 beckonGig hand,
and passeS YOU on through the wide
open door almost before YOU know It.
An old deacon III the veStihnlr has YOU
bv the hand at once, and introduces
YOU 20 "our chucch clerk" adding, Us
he reaches your part of the Introduce
ton, Il don't exactly know your name
AS though he used to know it like a
book, and mas pretty good inkling of
it now, but can't quite place you. An
usher at each door is ready for you
there is perfect picket-line Of sexton
aud deacons and ushers along the front
Of the Church of the Samaritans: not
to keep people oct, but to bring them
in; it isn't Fort, its 4 hospital; it's a
man.trap, bafted with Christian court
asv, and tlse man who is caught there
never tries to get away. The olderyou
are, the better seat YOU get: if you just
lint to the young fellow who is lead
ne you forward that your hearing is 4 :
title ..near-sighted' he'll get you the
,est seat in the house, if he has to ask (
. resident Samaritan to give it to YOU.
You get comfortably seated, and some
,ody pushes hassock toward you; a
.hild from the next pew hands you a
lymn-book; al old lady puts a Bible
nto vOur hands. The minister IOOkS '