Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-06-27
Why He Never Married.

WHY lie never MuTIleus
A few evenings ago 1 said ~ my
friend Dareal: Joseph, why haven't
you married?" The question seemed
abrupt, I admit, but the moment was
most propitious. AS we sat IN the
cosiest corner of the club-room testing
a new and recommending brand OF
cigars, we talked a while at random,
and finally we, too, drifted to the sub
iect Of matrimony in Buffalo. We spoke
of the apparent reluctance of certain
young men to do anything but dawdle
about the object of their alteration, and
when Joseph said, do not blame them;
perhaps it is not their fault" L put to
him the startling question, Joseph,
why don't you marry"
Joseph took several long pulls at his
cigar before replying, but finally said,
his eyes fixed on the ascending smoke:
"If you wish to know what kept me
from matrimony l will tell you. 1t is
the portiere."
/ stared. Joseph went on:
"In other words, it is because parlors
have no doors-becanse our modern
houses are one vast whispering gallery,
in which the slightest sound is heard
from one end to the other. 1t is years
| since I have felt sure that l was abso'
lutely alone with a girl-an environ
ment absolutely necessary for sentiment
al demonstrations. But to particularize.
1t is not long since l became unusually
interested in a young woman OF my &C.
quaintance. Perhaps 1 was in love
with her. If not, 1 know that [ might
have become so. l paid her rather
marked attention for nearly a year, but
in my numerous visits to her house
there was never an opportunity for any
thing but the most formal converse
ton. Usually her father sat in the Ii
brary across the hall in full hearing,
if not in full view, Of us. No chance to
shut door. At the parlor door-por.
there's; at the libraryldoor-portieres at
the dining-room door-portieres, and
never an opportunity for the tete-a-tete
which gives a man inspiration for SEN
timental deeds.
"Now it is my idea that the time when
should be q supreme moment in life
one to be made the most of and not
to be thrown away by any such insen'
safe proceedings as a proposal by letter
Oh ever to be risked at unpropitious
seasons when interruption is probable
Or possible. TheretoreI did not tell
my love with papa reading his paper II
the adjoining room or with the servant
fumbling at the sideboard in the din
ing room, with only a thickness of cur
tain between her and us. 1 did no.
tell my love while oil the doors were
wide open and the sisters were active
in the upper halls and 1 could hear the
brother in his room overhead dressing te
go out. No, I waited for some moment
OF assured privacy. 1t never came"
There vas a long silence. "Well?
said ct last.
"That is all. Last summer tn,
young woman in question made q visi
to a provincial town, one where sh
could shut the parlor door. Will
there she became engaged and wa
married last autumn"
"And that is courtship as she is con
Quoted in Buffalo," I sighed. "That
the state of things in nine houses out c
ten where L pay social visits" said JIG
seph Dareal. And as L recall til
homes Of our weddable but unwedde'
maids 1 conclude that Joseph was no
wrong, and what is most needed b
our young men is not courage but
~schance.'"- Buffalo Courier.