The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1890-06-11
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Always on hand-Palmistry.
A pound of flesh-Pugilism.
The plane dealer-The carpenter.
The end of women's prayer-Men.
Open to conviction-The prisoner at
the bar.-Judgc.
The burglars method for getting into
a safe is an open secret.
A title often sells book as easily as
it buys an heiress. Puck.
Now comes to mar morn's slumber sweet
The fricksome fly with fuzzy feet.
Washington Post.
1t is the man who is losing ground
by inches who becomes dissatisfied with
his lot
Astronomers predict numerous sun
spots this year-among the freckled.-
Hotel World.
The work of the sewing woman is in
some respects CORY business.-BiRg-
hamton Republican.
"There was not a dissenting vote"
eyes, heard it was carried anonymous
wallpapers Bdsar.
Inquisitive Patient--"Whati is the SCI
entific name for spring fever!" Doctor
"Laziness. - Chicago Times.
A Western humorst writes in his shirt
sleeves Well, that's all right That's
where his ''funny bone" is located
Statesman.
The idiom, ellis name is mud" was
first applied to Henry Clay when he got
into the soup for the Presidency-Har-
card LampOOn.
1t is best always to choose a tall man
for State Treasurer, so that he may not
be found short when he goes out of
Office. -PicdylHe.
81 seem very popular with your IA
ther's dog" said Herbert to Mabel. SIN
deedln ''Yes, the last time I tried to
take my leave, he did his best to detain
me-"
Nurse Showing new baby to proud
father)-"How like his pa, Herr Baron!
Your very imagel" Baron-''You think
so|" Nurse-''No hair, no teeth-just
the picture of you. ~ German Joke.
Artist-"Oh! so you think the back
grounds 'beastly, do you' Perhaps the
cattle are 'beastly,' too though | flatter
myself" Friendly Critic-"Oh, no,
my dear fellow; that's just what they are
not. ."-The Jester.
Woman to tramp)--"Want some
thing to eat, ehl Well, here's some
cold hash" Tramp-"But l haven't
got anything to eat with it, Woman
''Just keep on little further and you'll
find a fork in the road. ~
Small Boy-"Papa, which way does
the Chicago River rung' Papa (who is
always glad to slake the youthful thirst
for knowledge)-'It doesn't run at all,
my child. 1t is so thick it can hardly
walk. - Washington Star.
"Yom son is travelling at a pretty
rapid pace" said one Senator to apother.
Eyes; I'm afraid he's going most too
lively" "Does he play pokerl" "No;
he doesn't play. He just sits down and
loses his money. - Washington Post.
"What is it, little girl!" said Dear
born street grocer to a iive-year-old
miss, as he leaned over the counter
Little Girl-"Mamma sent me for
lamp-chimney, and she says she hopes it
will be as strong as that last butter you
sent US. Chicago Lyre,
"This dust nuisance must damage
you great deal, he said to the grocer,
as he lodged into the door TO let great
cloud roll by. "Oh, no, sir. Anything
added to maple sugar, prunes, eyaporated
apples, etc, is paid for by the public at
so much per pound. / am not doing
any kicking Detroit Free Press.
The two sons of an Eastern merchant
started for India. Some months after
ward the father received this telegram:
"Jim's dead. " In reply he cabled, "Ship
corpse" In due timea large box arrived,
which was found to contain the body of
an enormous Bengal tiger, The parent
again cablcd: "Mistake made; tiger in
box" To which his surviving sou re-
piled: GAN right, jim inside tiger"