St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1890-07-19
OLD BOWsER's HARD LUCK.
Tries to Make Screen Doors.

Tries to Make Screen Doors.
An expressman brought up small jag
of lumber the other afternoon and left it
at the barn, and when Mr.. Bowser came
home, l mentioned the fact, and asked
what he intended to do with it.
"It's for screen doors for the front DOORS"
he replied
Carpenter coming to make them 2
Haven't engaged any,"
s"Mr. Bowser, you are not going to try
and make them yourselfT
'There won't be any trying shout it. l
shall proceed to make and hang them"
"Im afraid you can't do it. It's nice
piece Of Joiner work to make screen door
especially one for the front door of the
house."
II am well aware of that" he said, as
he stroked his chin in a complacent way.
Haven't got about fifty dollars worth
of tools 7 Don't l know how to handle
themT'
Of wish you had given your order at
the shop as other folks do"
"I'll be hanged If I pay any $9 for
pair of doors when l can make them for
&c. You are always dead set against any
Gning undertake"
''Mr Bowser, you can't make a screen
me when the failure comes"
Blame you are you getting crazy3 If
those doors are not success you won't
hear word OF fault from me-not peep.
/ was thinking of ordering them, but
being you stuck your nose up so high I'll
make 'em now just to show you that can
do it"
And next morning he put on an old suit
and went out to the barn, and before nine
o'clock he had measured four different
times for those doors. At last he got the
dimensions to suit, and | heard him saw
ing off the strips. At II o'clock, went
out and found the stuff all cut in lengths,
and Mr.. Bowser was making half mortlse
ut the ends.
.sAren't our front doors higher than
this 7" asked, as picked up one of the
side pieces.
"Haven't you any Homework to see to 2"
he brusquely asked.
you've got 'em foot too short"
"Oh, have, eh7 Some folks eyes are
better than carpenters rule.
went back into the house but 1t wasn't
long before saw him sneaking around to
the front with one of the pieces. / watched
inches short, Mr.. Bowser scratched his
ear, growled like bear and looked as
foolish as hoy caught in harvest apple
tree Ten minutes later he was at the tel
ephone ordering more stuff.
"Were they too short 2" asked, as he
hung up the trumpet.
"N-no. but thought I'd get heavier
stuff" he mumbled, as he shot out doors.
The stuff came up after dinner, and it
was about 8 o'clock in the afternoon when
he put one of the frames together and
stood 1t up in the door. l went out,
and as he began to smile with satisfaction,
said:
ssMr. Bowser. that door is squeegawed
sssqueegawedf Squeegawedf What
does that stand for In the back countiesi 2"
s.Your door is wider at the bottom than
ut the top"
.sIt can't be |"
sBut your own eyes will convince you.
There's an inch difference
tNever I'll bet you million dollars
there isn't hairs breadth.
| ram for my tapeline and soon proved
that the difference was over an inch.
stOh, well, can fix that In moment, !"
he said, but 1t was o'clock that evening
before he came in.
1t was 10 o'clock next forenoon when l
went out to the barn. He had the doors
covered with the wire cloth, and proudly
called my attention to it.
(Which liz the outside of the door r. /
asked
'Why, the side this way, Of course"
IN "Then you've tackled the cloth on the
INSIDE |"
ssThat's where 1t belongs"
"You never saw it there, Mr.. Bowser-
nayerl And look at the way you have
tackled the stuff on. It's bumped up In a
dozen different places. because you pulled
1t askew."
eeThere isn't one hump-not the sign of
a hump. I'll give any man billion dollars
TO make better job Of it. All that door
needs now is painting"
aBut don't they paint the frames before
thew tack the cloth on3 How are you 60
inc to paint the inside of the framef"
.Don't you worry yourself about this
iob. Mrs. Bowser. wasn't born alongside
of o. huckleberry marsh !"
But after had gone away he had torn
of the wire and painted the frames, and
the next morning he had covered the
other. That night Mr.. Bowser kicked
around In his sleep in the most awful
manner. and at about o'clock In the
morning he suddenly sat up in bed anc
exclaimed:
"Soueegawsd | I'll bet you four hun
dred thousand billion dollars against cent
that they are as plumb as rule.
Mr.. Bowser had been at work an houl
next morning before went out. He haf
the doors ut the front, and he seemed Il
have some trouble about hanging them. :.
"You see what you've done, don't you
asked after survey of the scene.
ri don't believe I'm either near sighted
or color blind" he replied
aWell, you've got one door wrong sids
up, TO begin with. !"
aH-how7"
..Look at the panels and see. Then yor
hsye been trying to hang one to swing II
and the other to swing out.