davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-11-05
Let Him Drop Again.

The officer at Fort Wadsworth, like
all the officers in the army, are gallant
brave and handsome but one of then
is especially so, to which he adds an
overpowering sense of humor. Thi.
sense he deplored after an episode the
other day on the Jersey coast.
There is still any number of attrac
tive girls OH the coast, and the young
officer went to spend day at house
which had its full share of feminine
beauty. 1t was bright afternoon,
warm enough for swim, yet cool
enough for the bather to keep in con.
tinuous motion.
A daughter of the household pro.
posed swim and the young officer
acquiesced. He had not swum much
during the summer, but the atmos-
phere and the young girl striking out
in the direction of Europe made him
feel that he was equal to swim to
Coney Island at least.
The young woman had no intention
of trying for Coney Island, and after
awhile turned shoreward. But even
by that time the young officer realized
that his strength was not interminable.
1t was long distance to dry land,
and the feeling in his arms and legs
and an almost thorough exhaustion
of wind forced him to gasp to the
active figure in front of him: "I'm
getting tired. I'm 'fraid l cant last
much longer"
The young woman asked "Is it as
bad as that?" From his strained ex-
preston, she must have made up her
mind that it was for she swan to his
side and said: "Put your arm on my
shoulder and we'll get to shore.'g
AS soon as he felt that he was under
the protection of a strong swimmer all
anxiety disappeared and he saw but
one side to the situation-its ludicrous-
ness. That a strong soldier should be
saved by comparatively weak girl,
and be felt he ought to make some
light remark.
"You know" he gasped, "if you get
me safe ashore. you'll have to marry
me-"
Instantly his preserver released her
self from his grasp, and reappearing
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-11-05

A traveller in backwoods commui-
ty, attracted by moi in cabin not
far from the roadside, stopped and,
addressing a boy that sat on a fence,
said:
"You live about here, | suppose ?"
"Yep, jest about"
"Well, can you tell me what makes
that peculiar noise up yonder in that
cabin ?"
"Yep, it's pap and man."
"What are they doing-'beating a
carpet p
"Nop, beating one 'nuther."
"You don't say SO !"
"Who said l didn't
81 mean is it possible ?"
"That's what it is"
"What are they beating each other
for?"
Because they're fghtin'."
"Is it possible that you sit here and
see your father beat your mother? ?"
IL don't see him beating her, l only
think he's tryin' to."--Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-11-05
Rip Van Wrinkles Story.

There is in the village of Catskill a
Rip Van Winkle club. This society
did me the honor to invite me to act
the character in their town. | accept
ed and when / arrived was met by
the worthy president of the club,
among whom was young Nicholas
Vedder, who claimed to be a lineal
descendant of the original "old Nick" i"
Emulating the spirit of evolution, the
citizens had turned the skating rink
into a theater, and very respectable
looking establishment it made, though
in its transition state the marks of
rollers did "cling to it STILL" / was
taking cup of tea at the table in the
hotel when l was attracted to the
colored waiter who was giving a
graphic and detailed account of this
legend of the Catskill mountains to
one of the boarders who sat nearly
opposite to me.
"Yes, sah," he continued Grip
went up into de mountains, slep' for
20 years, and when he came back
hyar in his berry town his own folks
didn't know him."
"Why," said his listener, "you don't
believe the story's true? ?"
True? Oh course it is. Why"
pointing at me, "dat's the man."
The town was filled with farmers
and their wives who had come from
far and near to see the opening of the
new theater, and also, l think may
say, to see for the first time the story
which Washington Irving had laid
almost at their very doors.
AS | drove to the theater the rain
came down in torrents, the thunder
rolled and the tightening played
around the peaks of the distant mount.
aims, under the very shadow Of which
l was to act the play. 1t gave me a
very strange sensation. When l got
to the theater 1 could scarcely get in,
the crowd was so great about the
door-countrymen trying to get into
the ticket Office instead of the proper
entrance, and anxious and incredul-
Gus old ladies endeavoring to squeeze
past the doorkeeper, but refusing to
give up their tickets. The rush over,
the play begun. The audience was
intent on the scene as it progressed
and seemed anxious not to lose a
word. During the scene. in the last
act, where Rip inquiries of the inkeep-
er, "Is this the village of Falling
Waters ?" l altered the text and
substituted the correct name, "Is this
the village of Catskill?' The crowd
ed house almost held its breath. The
name of the village seemed to bring
the scene home to every man, woman
and child that was looking at it.
From this time on the interest was at
its full tension. Surely I had never
seen an audience so struck with play
before.
There was a reception held at the
club after the play, and the worthy
president, in introducing me to the
company, was so nervous that he
announced me as "Mr. Washington
Irving."-Joseph Jefferson in Century.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-11-05

The Similarity of the sexes-He--
when woman says no, she is al
ways ready to be convinced" She
"Yes F.; and when man says no, he
only wants little persuading to
make him say, don't care if l do. "
Munsey's Weekly.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-11-05

man, 81 was born in Springfield, ILL.,,
and lived there until after the war.
From my earliest boyhood Abe Lin.
coin was to me an impressive figure.
He used to come to my fathers, stick
his feet on the counter and talk about
the affairs of the nation. was pres
ent one night when Abe came in, look.
ing as melancholy as a man whose
hens won't lay.
What's the matter, LincolnY my
father asked.
"'Oh, nothing much. I'm diseour-
aged bit. l fear my tilt with Doug
las was not very successful
Nonsense, Abe,' remarked my
father. "Your words have electrified
the country. They will bear rich
fruit for you. Your reputation has
been merely local heretofore now it is
national
DO you think so? Well, l hope
you're right Then the future Presi-
dent stalked out into the night, look
ing more cheerful than when he enter
ed.
81 will never forget the first few
days after he was nominated. At
that time Springfield had no postal
delivery, and we were in the habit of
going to the post.office late in the after
noon for our mail. Sometimes 200
people would gather in and near the
post-office. The evening after he was
chosen presidential candidate by his
party Abe came to the post-office as
usual for his letters. He was dressed
in the homely fashion of the time and
place and greeted his neighbors in his
usual democratic way. He found his
box full of letters and newspapers.
"The next afternoon he came again.
This time his mail filled three boxes.
He was dressed with more care than
he had been the day before. On the
third day after his nomination he ap-
peared at the post-office with basket on
arm. He went away with his basket,
pockets and. hat overfowing with en-
velopes, newspapers, campaign docu-
ments, etc.
after that he was obliged to en-
ploy the services of a secre tary, who
collected his mail, and we we saw but
little of the great man. Whenever he
appeared in public, however, we notic-
ed that he wore what gossips called
his Sunday hat
"Those were lively times in Spring
field. l will never forget the picture
he presented as he lowered toward his
wife and greeted his old friends.
Mrs. Lincoln was very gracious and
made fine impression that night. Il
heard Abe say in the hallway as we
were about to leave:
"I guess Mary will carry herself
right well in Washington, old man.
Speaking of Mrs. Lincoln reminds
me of an episode that took place some
yeas before Abe became national
hero. There was well.to do tailor
in Springfield who owned handsome
house Just across the street from the
Lincolns. Mrs. Lincoln did not feel
pleased that tailor should live in
finer residence than she. When Abe
was off on circuit, she bad story
added to the house. The job was
neatly finished and when Abe returned
he, gazed ut the house in surprise, and
then crossed to the tailor's side of the
road.
"'Who lives in that palatial man
sion over there p he asked of his
neighbor.
1.-THE widow Lincoln, answered |
the smiling tailor. Then was heard a
voice from the Lincoln house:
"Abe, Abe; come to dinner
New York Herald
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-11-05

The Returned Traveler.-"Switzer-
land, madam, Switzerland is horribly
oyerrated You are all the while
shut in so by mountains that you cant
see anything. Courier des Etats-
Unis.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-11-05

Mrs. Quizine-"Gretchen am
told Hans has given you beautiful
engagement ring. Where is it?"
Gretchen-"Oh, Hans wear it himsellf.
He vas afrait | lose him NIT anoder
feller." Jewellers Weekly.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-11-05

few feet in front. looked back and
remarking, 81 guess you're not as bad
ly off as you thought" struck briskly
out for the shore. He got ashore at
last, but will never try to be funny
again.-New York Sun.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-11-05

Its Dimensions Varied--Amy-
"You have good heart, Jack, but
you haven't much of a head" Jack
-"Oh you should have seen it when
l got up this morning New York
Herald.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-11-05

"What is the difference, papa, be-
tween a tour and a junket ?" "a
number of our own party makes a
tour. A junket is the trip of a num-
ber of the opposition. New York
Herald.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-11-05

Never be at your place of business
when a person wants to borrow money
of you, because if you are in you will
be out, but if you are out you will be
in.-Somerville Democrat.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-11-05

There are few men who can live
without an income, and perhaps fewer
still that can live within one.-Bing-
hamton Leader.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-11-05

Know thyself, and keep the informa'
ton to thyself That is good advice
Hartford Religious Herald.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-11-05

Strangely enough, when three or
four men 60 off together to have a
quiet time they generally come home
as noisy as a Sunday in Cincinnati
Somerville Journal.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-11-05

The weight that has been hanging
on the front gate all summer will now
be transferred to the sofa in the par
lor.-Maryland Gazette.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-11-05

A good thing for Tommy.-"Well,
Tommy, I'm glad to see you are get
ting along so much better at school" I"
said the young mans uncle. "You
have gone whole week without being
whipped, haven't youp - "Yes sir ;
teachers got lame shoulder. -
Washington Post.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-11-05

Blinks-"Been travelling in Europe
Ell? How do you find the hotels 2"
Jinks-"Hired cab. Good News.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-11-05

A New York paper contains an
article entitled "Why Cats are Thin"
Joughness says cats are thick enough
around his place.-Norriston Herald.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-11-05

"Is your brother still pursuing the
law ?" "He was till last spring"
"And now ?" "The law is after him."
London Spare Moments.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-11-05
WIT AND HUMOR.

Queer creature. the barber-he
does all his work with his hands.
-Elmira Gazette.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-11-05

1t is said that Brussels carpet are
going up. This is odd, as they are
manufactured for the express purpose
of going down.-Baltimore American.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-11-05

The western editor defantly asks
brother to take up his glove, to which
the other responds: Certainly.
Give us a pair of tongs "-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-11-05

Litewayte-"It's very disagreeable,
don't you know, to associate with ones
interiors" Bronson-"How in the
world did you find that out ?'-Life.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-11-05

Little Roger-"Mr. Mello, sister
Gertie says she likes you because you
are-I can't think what it is now,
though
Mr.. Mello-"Try, try, Roger, that's
good boy"
Little Roger, after an interval of
thought know riow-hush. ."-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-11-05
MICHIGAN CENTRAL
"The Niagara Falls Route"
Time Card in Effect.

Daily. Daily except Sunday. Parlor car on
day trains and sleeping cars on night trains.
WHITING, Ticket Agent.
o.w. .RUGGLES, g. p. & T. Agt.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-11-05

The Limit.-Impassioned Lover
Tell me, my angel, what to do to
prove my love. Oh, that l might,
like some knight of old, battle for
you, die for YOU" Sweet Girl-"I
wish you would give up smoking"
Inpassioned Lover. come now,
that's asking too much. New York
Weekly.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-11-05

Will-"Have you ever noticed how
frequently it happens that sons are
exactly the opposite of their fathers ?"
George-"Certainly, there are a
great many families in which this is
the case"
"Were you acquainted with my
father?"
mo, ] never knew him personally.
but I have always understood that he
was very intelligent gentleman."--
Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-11-05
Detroit, Bay CITY & Alpena R.R.

Mail and Accom- Mail and Accom-
Express mediation. Express. mediation.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-11-05

The reverend gentleman had just
finished a scathing denunciation of
lotteries.
Before we separate, brethren" he
added, 1" let me remind you that the
melodeon donated by Brother Baker
will be rafiled for the benefit of the
church on Thursday evenipg."-New
York Herald.
Mower County transcript., 1890-01-22
PERSONAL MENTION.

AL Smith was up from the Valley Sunday.
George Hirsh attended the Grand lodge of
Masons at St. Paul last week as a delegate.
Miss Hunt, who is attending our public
schools, went to her home at Dexter last
week to care for La Grippe.
J. F. Cook and Dr. Wheat returned from
Minneapolis last Friday, where they had been
to attend the funeral of Supt. E. H. Graves.
The funeral was largely ATTENDED, every
official OF his division but one being present.
Mr.. Graves was cousin Of Mr.. Cook and DR..
Wheat.
$. D. Catherwood was at Leroy yester-
day on legal business.
Mrs. D. B. johnson has been suffering
with sciatic rheumatism lately.
P. Vandcnoever and w. K. Payne
were over from Dexter Yesterday.
Kit Ellis was taken with la grippe
! Monday. Her school room was supplied
by Mrs. Gordon.
+ Mrs. G. NJ. Allen is in st. Paul this
week looking up her stock of fancy
goods for the spring trade.
Geo. w. Merrick of the Austin Furni.
ture Company, went to Little Rock. Ark,
Monday. 1t is business trip he says.
Miss Minnie Andrews was unable to
take charge of her department in school
Monday. and her place is supplied by Mrs.
Eta Decker.
N. Kingsley and Lafayette French
left for the south Monday and expect
to be gone a month. They will visit
New Orleans. Pensacola, St.. Augustine
and other southern nOintS
Mower County transcript., 1890-01-22

--- Frank Tindell and Williams stole {
/ flne tbuf1alo robe from sleigh IN a.stree,
Ct LeRoy t'E1 Saturday night. Williams took
the robe from the sleigh and carried il
out out 81 town. where he was met by Tin
dell Will with a team. They drove INTO the
country short distance and hid the robe
under bridge. covering it with snow,
and pursued their journey home. They
were seen in the act of taking the robe,
and Immediately posse started in pur.
suit ana succeeded in bringing them
back, ATTORNEY Catherwood went down
Monday in behalf of the state to attend
the case, and the result was that Will
Jams plead guilty, paid fine of $25 and
cost, and Tindell was bound over to the
March term of court under 5000 bonds.
Here is partial list of those who are
having round with la grippe: Parke
Goodwin, Mr.. and Mrs. L. E. Day. Lulu
Day, Mrs. Ed Bascomb, N. Kingsley,
Mrs. Morgan and her entire family. Mrs.
W. F.. Day and two boys, Mrs. John
Hoy and two children. Mrs. Fleck, Grace
Baird, A. Requa, and family, 10 Ober,
quite sick, Grace Sherwood, Ben George,
Howard Clark, Charles Wilbour, Thos.
Beisecker. Mr.. and Mrs. zimmerman.
Chas. Fox. Mrs. G. q. Adams, 10 Schwan
G. j. Short, Mrs. Short Charles Cole
man, A. Friedrich, Mrs. j. M. Engle,
Mrs. J. F. Cook, Fred Baird. wife, baby,
mother-in law and hired girl, Eugene
Wood, Fred, Solon and Clara Wood,
L. Hurlbut, Supt Scott. Mrs. Prof.
Andrews. H. S., s. H. and the two Mrs.
Merrill, Mrs. Jim Mills, E. Z. Eccleston
and Ida Eccleston, Mr.: and Mrs. F. A
Ticknor. 10 Adams, Ida Barnes, Mrs. Dr.
Cherry, Con Fogarty and two sisters,
George White. OF this number Mr..
Eccleston, Ida Eccleston, and Geo.
White are quite serious. These it has
taken by families: Will and Corey Miner
Sidney, Oleson, E. Myers, w. H. Halle,
Smith Davisor, Gould, J. NJ. Cook.
Hudson, Terry. II. M. Hazeitine, LlddeIl
Allen. Bahr. Watts, ALBRIGHT, Billing
Richter John Anderson, Mrs. Showers.
Ed Goth This is only partial list and
will have to be continued next week.
Mower County transcript., 1890-01-22

might be expected she again fell from the
path of virtue, and was brought to Aus.
tin last Monday on bench warrant. and
placed under additional bonds. 1t is to
be hoped this will have more lasting
effect.
&C. H. Davidson. Jr. has retired from
the Austin National Bank, and will take
trip through the south. He will 20
first to Middlesborough. Ken, where our
friend Will Crane is at present doing a
good banking business. J. L. Mitchell,
late of the National Bank of Commerce,
of Minneapolis takes his place in the
bank Charley is reliable young man
and we hope he may strike a bananzo in
the south as the rest of our Austin boys
seem to have done.
The Austin Pressed Brick Company
held their annual meeting January ii
and elected the following officers: e..
schleuder president; R. E. shepherd
secretary and F. l. Crane, treasurer
W. H. Strong, B. F. Farmer. g. M.
Warren, &. Schleuder, F. I, Crane,
E. G.. Perkins and R. E. Shepherd were
elected as directors. The company in
tend to make extensive improvements
this spring and do even a larger business
than was done the past season. They
expect to make 2i millions Of brick this
coming season. The company are turn.
lnQ: out fne brick, and find 1 ready
market for oil that can be made.
Mower County transcript., 1890-01-22
N~uragta causes much Insanttvl

| @ Y
The highest medical authorities 81
Europe and America have recently de-.
cided that large percentage of cases Of
insanity Is caused by the excrutiatlnp
pains Of Neuralgia Of the head and face
If any member Of your family suffers this
tormentor. induce them to try BalIard,s
Snow Linimint. One application viii
afford immediate relief and you will soon
he rid of DANGEROUS and tormentino
disease. Ballard's Lluimept is the most
penetrating Linement known. It DOS.
itively cures Rheumatism. Lame Back
Contracted Muscles, Old Sores. Corns
Bunions, etc. It penetrates and opens
up the pores, drawing all poisonous
matter to the surface, restoring and pro-
noting natural circulation of the blood
through the diseased parts. Sold by
Giles & Tryon. .
Mower County transcript., 1890-01-22
THIRD WARD.

August King, a machinlst in the Mil
waukee shops, has gone to Chicago,
where he will have position in the shops
there with James. By the way, we learn
that James is now a foreman in the Chi
cago shops, fact which his many friends
here will be glad to learn.
Mower County transcript., 1890-01-22

For SALE.-Restaurant for sale on
account of proprietors ill health. Good
chance for the right man. Cali at G. A.
R. Restaurant, over McBrides store
Mower County transcript., 1890-01-22

DIR. W1NCHELL'S TEETHING SY.
RUP is the best for the general silments
of children, Sold by all druggists.
Mower County transcript., 1890-01-22
|(!l3;{:|l|(3||

After ten years exclusive sale: can now 6e
obtained Of all Dtuggists and Dealers In Medi-
cines. 1t CURES-take notice mot simply heinz
but CURES, LIVER COMPIlx1HT.
Rillousness >aad DyspePsiaz-
Is strictly vegetable preparation and WiA
CURE MALARIA; and all MALARfAL troubles.
DR.. 8. H. Wise, of Boston, ,Ky. says
''Have practiced medicine 1d years, and md no
equal to HERBINE as . Liver Regulator.,'
Dr.. W. A. Baker, of Madison, Fla, ssys
"a bottle Of HERB!NE: 10 worth moee thaa
$500 worth of Quinine in any family''
Acting on the Liver in different way from
any other medicine; 1t is . positive cure fer
Chronic Constipation. and is cheaper than Pills.
Its peculiar composition is such, that "
guarantee to cure any case of Chills and Fever
or Bilious Fever with one bottle.
1t costs but Is cents and each bottle con-
tains over 40 average doses, making. the cost
less than two cents : dose. Would you ask
for cheaper medicine? It is not cure-all. But
will cure any Liver, Bilious or Mal0.
rial Complaint: Manufactured by
The Her1011ae Co.,
Successors to VIM. .Condell.) At. Louis, He
Mower County transcript., 1890-01-22
NOT A "NATIONAL," NOT A LOCAL"
AUSTIN BRANCH OF THE
Home Savings and Loan Assn

but cooperative bank which loans it's money
on the building society plan, instead of Ordi.
nary way Of mortgage loans, and for this rea-
son is able to pay double the rate of interest
obtained In regular banks. Deposits may be
made any time in any amount, but the mem
Der AGREES TO DEPOSIT CERTAIN SUN,
weekly or monthly, REGULARLY, and by this
agreement acquires the right to deposit as
much more and as much oftener as he pleases,
thus maturing his stock to suit himself.
Dividends are declared January and July lst
and are credited on bank books, and begin to
earn dividends same as cash paynent.
July l, 1889, a per cent dividend was declared
for the previous six months, and Jan. !, 1890,
8 per cert dividend was declared for pre-.
ceding six months. This is nearly II per cent
compound interest a year-more than double
bank interest. DepositOrs can draw principal
and interest on thirty days notice. There ts
no safer or better way to lay away little for
rainy day. Call upon Mr., G. Fl. Webber.
agent tor Mower county, and get details OF
this excellent plan.
|. Officers: W. N. ROBERTS, President; J. N.
GREENAAN, Secretary; G. Fl. WEBER, Treas
urer. = =:
Directors: Alex. Requa, W. N. Roberts,
Arthur Cole. ]. M. Greenman. Andrew A.
Dalagor, =. II. Miller, L. @. Campbell, H. r.
HAlver1on. 5ese%: ii -I~G = = :. ( ".#; .
Mower County transcript., 1890-01-22

Connects in Union Depots at St. Paul and
Minneapolis for all
Dakota, Manitoba and Pacific Coast
Points. Connects IN Chicago with all Lines
East and South,
GOING-NORTH OR SOUTH.
Leave.... 1886 A. NJ. Leave...... IL 81 A. NJ
Leave.-...3:41 p. NJ. Leave. ... 4:4O A. NJ
st. Paul & Mpls &C. north 6:12 4. m. ar. St
Paul 1910 q. m. Mps. lO:45.
Lyle &C. south, leave Mpls. 4:l5 p. m. St. p
4:B p, N. ar. at Austin 6:42 p. m.
i" All Daily.
W. H. BUSENBARK,
Gen'l Pass. and Ticket Art,
Chicago, Ill.
For tickets and information apply to Arthur
Cole. Agent at Austin.
Mower County transcript., 1890-01-22

Chicago, St. Paul 1 Kansas City Railway
Is the direct route to CHICAGO, ST.
PAUL. MINNEAPOLIS, DUBUQUE,
ST. JOSEPH and KANSAS CITY.