Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1890-04-24
TEE rARIrF P1RArE saIn
Poking Fun at One of Wax Adolor7.
MOst ScrfOua JOkca.

Most scrfOUs Jokes.
Philadelphia Evening Telegraph.
General Hancock is not he only man
who has come to grief fooling with the
tariff. II Is subject that many ADLER
men have wrestled with to their sad un-
doing. 1t is one of those things, indeed,
which must be approached in a rational
frame of mind, and the man who upder-
takes TO take liberties with it is sure 10
make on exhibition OF himself. OF all
subjects, IL is the most dangerous for the
professional humorists to tackle, and
when this kind Of person, by some
strange circumstance of fate succeeds in
getting control Of q journal specially de-
voted to the highest kind of tariff there
are seen some acrobatic performances in
its professedly staid and serious columns
that must sorely try the patient eoula
who put up the ''fat" every week to keep
the show going. Something Of this sort
has happened right here, in the very Glib
raltar Of proteotionism, where it is high
treason to question anything proposed by
those for whose exclusive benefit they
seem 10 think the tariff exists. A fort
1 nightly bulletin of the Manufacturers
Club of Philadelphia, it appears,is edited
| by our one time amusing friend, MAX
| Adeler," and its current issue ia quite as
| grotesque, minus illustrations, as any
! thing to be found in the authors ludi-
orous Hurly- Burly. The occasion Of the
hilarious outbreak appears TO have been
! some recent remarks in this paper on the
| subject OF the tariff "Mr. jones' Pirate''
oomes dashing to the front:
SIN a rakish-looking schooner, called the
Mary Jane,
Carrying lots of howitzsra and riffs guns.
Shot, shell and powder, and percussion
caps In TONS"
he then feroely declares that the editor
of the Telegraph knows nothing about
wool, except that it grows somehow upon
a sleeps back, and couldn't tell a fibre
of wool from fibre of jute.
"He was not serious pirate, and despite
his anxious cares,
He rarely went TO sunday-school, and sell
dom said his prayers"
Which is why he further declares that
as protectiouist journal, this paper
equals the Pu5lic LEDGER as an organ of
Anarchists. He says the Manu- dcturer
is not printed ''as kind OF primer, for
incompetent editors,n 30 hs doss not
undertake to discuss the arguments ad-
vanced in these columns, but
"The pirate told his bold corsairs to man
the jolly boats.
10 board the bark, and sezs the crew and
slit their tarry throats."
He then explains why the working men
in the great cities are to be sacrifi ssd to
the demands of the grsngsrs. lest the
heavy hand of the farmers should fall
upon the Republican party, if it should
not pass such tariff bill as the tillars of
the soil, it is declared, have demanded.
$50 they got at Captain Jones, and hacked
him with sword,
Chopped him Into little bits, and tossed him
overheard"
He next boldly shouts, "Psss the Tariff
bill quickly" admitting that it cannot
promise the same measure OF beneft to
all, nor be arranged with respect to all
opinions, ''some of which may be and
probably are framed upon the basis Of
prejudice, Ignorance OF sslfshness."
This, Of course, doubtless refers to the
carpet manufacturers OF Philadelphia,
the names of four Of the most prominent
of whom are printed at the head of this
comic tariff journal, and who composed
part Of the delegation which recently
went to Washington to tear out the
Mckinley bill. What do these men,
Messrs. Robert Dornsn, j. q. Bromley,
James Pollock and Alexander Grow, Jr.
know about wool, wooisns, carpet,
tariff, or anything el~e, compared with
the brilliant Hurry Bury who edits the
journal which they have no more sense
! than to own?
''As they ssuntered up the street, he gave
his bride poke,
And said. In them there mans ons live the
friends Of whom spoke."
We further read, mo raw material
that this country can produce in large
quantities should ever be permitted to go
! on the free list !" yet this Tariff bill pro-
poses TO put sugar on the free list, and
! then, to try and even things up, pro-
poses bounty to home growers.
; They tossed the little BABY to the sacred
crocodile"
The carpet men who help to pay
Hurry. BnrIps wages want certain class
: of wool on the free list, or at least at q
low rate of duty, which is not, and can
: not be grown in this country, but the
3 authors of the Mckinley bill refuse this
D reasonable request, no matter what the
J consequences may be to the men and
! workmep interested.
"They cooked him with the craekiin on,
with gravy Drown aud NICE"
BY this time Hurry Bury il getting
. dizzy. He shouts concerning the Nc
. Kinley bill: sit will thrust American
wool once more upward, aud the prices
3 of American wool once more downward"
As to this hind of standing yourself on
4 ycur head, Max, well:
"You never learned at Sunday-school to be
so awful bad"
AZ Q final deliverence on the Mckinley
bill, Tbs Manufacturer funny man says
that its passage will silence the prophets
!, Of evil, proving its value practically Ia
.. the minds and pockets of the people. AS
I to the kickers, the carpet men for ia.
stance, the tin-pists men, the working
men, &c,
n "We've got to suttocate you in the Oranges
!. holy mud"
What wall the manufacturers do about
, it? Thus to have their serious minded,
7 or at least serious Intentional, journal
! made the victim of such extraordinary
. performances must bs a sore trial. II
will be difficult TO find adequate punish.
Z ment for themselves, for being fooled sc
4 badly, or for the editor who has thus be.
4 trsyed his solemn trust. They all alike
a ought to be made
: "ro stand alons upon one leg for forty
seven years."
Pineapple Juice for Oipntnerias
! ~ riI