The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-04-19
BINS or FREsH 1REsH rs.
New stories Brought Home from the
Green Island by Traveller
~. Crfs


must listen 10 Pat. as on ms natlNe son ne
flashes forth these rapier-lke expressions
which ,.onvulse his listener The larger
nsrt of Celtic wit IS epigrammailc- IL
snrinos suddenly from its environment n
Ireland il Is distilled from almost every
Animation. As soon as the American Iancs
~ leland he begins to hear il. The traveller
So Son,es into contact with the professional
facrc-ar at Queenstown. From an economic
sta1dpoint these beggars are the pests
Of tbe fCreen Isle They give travellers
altogether a wrong impression IN regard 70
the tr,Ie nature of the lrlshInan as he is IN
his native land Still the American cannot
hsin being pleased with them, on account OF
their witty sayings, A recent traveller IN
Ireland was accosted by one Of these pro
fessiopals In all essential respects tae beg
gar closely resembled the Witch of Endor.
She was lean and evidently hungry. She
stood in an attitude expressive of extreme
humanity, with her hands clasped before
her She said nothing, but her attitude was
3 very beseeching one. Thinking, from ner
looks. that she was deserving of charity, the
traveller said to her:
''Now, madam, if ! give you shilling
will YOU promise not to follow me around
the streets during my stay in QueenstoWnf
''Arrah. sir: may the blesHn' of heaven
come down upon We, sir; may We niver
know want, and may yeer wife nlyer at
tipd yeer funeral"
She received the shilling in her wrlnkled
palm, and as long as the traveller was
within hearing she called down blessings
upon him. He remained in Queenstown
one week. During that time Wherever ne
went he saw the miserable spectacle Of the
poor beggar. Her looks always asked Tor
aims. This went on until it became unbear-
able to the traveller. One morning as he
came out of his hotel he saw her standing
or,r1oSifa sida of the tine ustlal
pitiful attitude To put it mildly, he was
vexed. He decided to put an end 10 the
nuisance Crossing the street rapidly TO
where the woman stood, he said:
Madam, didn't you agree not to follow
me after gave you the shilling"
Faith, / did, sill"
''Well, why in thunder do you follow me
sof'
The woman smiled and replied:
''Shure, sir, it's not me that's follerin' ye;
Its ye that's follerin' mew
The traveller gave her a slxpenca.
There Is another nuisance in most of the
barge Irish towns 1t is in the shape of the
small boy. After leaving Queenstown the
traveller spoken of above met one of these
pocket edition Gets at the Cork station.
Said the boy, who was no more than twice
as large as the travellers valise:
"W'ud yu lave me carry the bagW
The traveller doubted the boys strength,
yet he yielded the valise to his eager grasp.
The bag was heavy, and the boy gradually
became bow-legged in his efforts to carry
It On arriving at the hotel the traveller
gave the boy sixpence, and dismissed him.
He came out upon the sidewalk an hour
later and found the boy waiting. Said the
traveller,
Sonny, don't need you any longer"
''But yen made guide, SIR"
mo; can see the city without help"
With this the traveller started to go
away, but the boy chung to his coat tails.
He stuck closer than a burdock burr. The
sightseer couldn't shake him off until he
used actual violence. His rebuff did not
discourage the boy, however, for he fol-
lowed for two hours until he arrived at Pat
ricks bridge. Here, as the tourist stood
watching the myriad gulls in graceful flight
over the River Lee, he felt sharp tug at
his coat, and, turning around, saw the boy
again.
"WeT, my boy, what is it now"
Its gettin' late" replied the boy, land
wud We pay me now so | can go homes"
PAY you for whatw asked the tourist
"Fur showin' We round the city o. Cork,
sr!'
1t will be remembered by newspaper
readers that within the past year a certain
Maryland millionaire named Dupont mar
Tied barmaid in the city of Queenstown
This young woman was not strikingly hand
some, but she was generally credited in
Queenstown with possessing one of the
sharpest tongues in Ireland. When 'tTot-
tie" was taken away from the Queens hotel
by her American husband she was sue
ceeded by a young woman named Miss
White, who was scarcely less original in
her remarks than her predecessor had been
1t must be borne in mind that young
woman loses nothing in social caste
by being a barmaid in Ireland. Not
long since an Engishman who was
stopping at the Queens hotel presumed on
Miss Whites freedom of speech. He stood
leaning upon the bar, and gradually moved
his face closer and closer to Miss Whites
ruddy cheek. BY the merry twinkle in the
barmaid's eye it could readily be seen that
she discerned that he wanted to kiss her.
His hps were slowly but surely approaching
the barmaid's rounded cheek, while her
right hand as slowly and as surely encircled
the neck of a decanter which stood on the
bar. When his lips had approached to
within one inch of her cheek she suddenly
down the back Of his neck. Then springine
lightly backward she exclaimed with 4
merry laugh:
II thought;Rye we're gettin' a thrife
warrums sir, and Ia cool yer ardorr'
To further illustrate the genius of the
unique CelU perhaps III would not be out of
place to mention an illustrious painter in
the town of Iralee in Kerry. This painter
house and signs noted character and
is an inveterate practical joker. Not long
since ne entered the liquor store of a well.
known publican i'll Tralee He was very
thirsty.
"Misther Teahan," said he, ''if veil give
me a pint CT porther, I'll tell We how Pm
afther chatin' the railway
go along" replied Teahan, ''ye're al
some more of ye're jokes"
"Indade Pm not, sir; and if veil give M,
the porther I'll tell We how Pm afther batin
the biggest railway in Ireland
Teahan hesitated for astime, but his curl
osity at last overcame his Judgment, and he
placed brimming glass of porter befor,
the thirsty painter. The latter drained hi
glass in two gulps and wiped mis- mouth OF
his sleeves.
Come, Gomez said Teahan, impatientlv
"tell us how ye cheated the railroad"
WELL" said the painter, ''ye mush
know that Pm afther bein' in Cork AM
wantin' TO get to TraIee. So fwhat does
do but goes an l buys a ticket TO
Killarney
Why. man." interrupted Teahan, ''hov
did You ever get home then!"
Faith | walked"
But how did We chate the railwaysn
'Usha, man; didn't chate thin out q
the r1riea ~ ha fara fror, Lr;Ito-..o.. a.