Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-02-07

PooAS vi "atefy tears, and his sense of
vision fed completely.
Good gracious" screamed Mrs
bangs-"Job, you've set the bonse
afire!"
No, I haint," stammcred job win.
ing his eyes on his coat-sleeye. Gao.
cording to my idee, it's that COMPOUNDED
stove!"
Mercy on US! Where's the damper,
where's the draft ?-where's the air
slide? Job, Job, where are YOU. that
you don't do something? The new
whltewash will be ruined in this
smoke"
Mrs. Bangs stood with her apron over
her head. and Bangs managed to get up
to window, at which he obtained some
relief. In few moments the kindlings
had burned out, and the smoke sub
sided. There was no draft; but the
fire had been made in the wrong place,
and now Job set about Systematically
to find the right one, by trying hand
full of shavings in each cavity of the
complicated queen.
Fortune favored him, as she ALWAYS
does the brave, and finally Job could
have shouted "Eureka"-if he had
thought of it. The fire burned splend-
idly! The numerous CRATES glowed-
the water in the kettles sizzled-Mrs.
Bangs was radiant and the spider" of
pork and lard boiled charmingly
| But suddenly, just as Mrs. Bangs was
congratulating herself in being the
most favored woman in the universe,
the stove gave q lurch-its three long
legs quivered and trembled--the for
ward one dropped out-the immacu-
late Queen of the World tottered on her
throne! For q second only-then over
she went, kettles and stewpans! The
pot was in the fire, and the fire took
royal advantage Of it. The blaze
steamed up the chimney, igniting the
SCOT, and sending column of flame ten
feet out of the top of the chimney.
The observant neighbors screamed
sire" at the height of their voices
the school children across the way
took up the cry-Mrs. Bangs was
ankle-deep in hot water and floating
potatoes-the house dog lay PROSTATE
under the ruins, bowling with fright
and pain-and Mr.. Bangs had fed to
the elevation of the kitchen table, from
whence he was comfortably surveying
the scene-being seated in the broad
dish of hominy pudding which his wife
had prepared for baking.
The cries of fire called out the en-.
CINE company-ever prompt in danger
and stripping down Mr.. Bangs fence
they hurried their machine through 8
fine field of corn, and up to the house
Just as they arrived, covered with per
spiration and out of breath, Mrs. Bang.
made her exit from the kitchen, scream
ing and wringing her hands in the wild
est agitation.
The jealous captain of the company
was little near-sighted, and supposine
the lady's clothing to be on fire, h
seized the end of hose already filed
and let fly the whole stream of watel
over her person The shock knocked
her over instantly, and after few
somersaults she came to o halt in the
rain-water cistern, from whence she wa!
afterward 1ished out half drowned ant
considerably indignant.
The grand uproar aroused high
spirited bull that was confined in an ad
jacent yard, the red uniforms of the
tiremen inspired his bullship with JUS
wrath, and after half-dozen Fremont
tory bellows, he gave tremendous
leap, and cleared the barring.
Captain, privates and populace, aston
ished and terrified, fled before that ele
waited head and those smoking nostrils
fled ingloriously, leaving Bangs
chimney to burn out without help-al
except Judge Marlowe, who, being {
dignifed man, did not compromise his
dignity until the last, when he Went
through his best PAGES, but in vain.
The bull singled him out from the
others, caught him on his horns, and
tossed him into the pig-pen, where the
irate mother of ten promising porcine
little ones nearly finished him. In
fact, the Judge would never have come
out Of that hogs yard alive had not
Mrs. Bangs, recovering from her tenn
porary fright, gone to the rescue with
the mop-handle.
The bull, after scattering all in,
truders, turned his attention to the
engine which was left behind, and
never were the walls of beleaguered
city battered and charged more zeal
ouslv than he charged that non-resistant
"masheen." Mr.. Bangs came down
from his perch as soon as the crowd had
dispersed, and secured the quadruped,
now pretty we'll blown, from his extra
! .1:xo>.,