Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1890-01-02
WIT AND HUMOR

- VftfNffo OU@tAtc.
1t was Lord Ullin's daugbte- +
told the ferryman: mo cross
. crown. "-Drake's Magazine.
It is worthy of mention that tba b.
of figures which won't lie are NOT
closed in tailor-made suits.-Paeg
The man who goes to the seas5,.
resort for a change frequently CON-
back without any.--BoSt0n Courier
Republics were ever ungrateful "
put our great men on postage st,r,-
and then punch their heads.-PgeG
Reeder "A penny for Won,
thoughts" De Ruyter-'Its w
That is more that the editors viii givs
Puck.
Highwayman (to pawnbroker,
Put up your handsr Pawnbrote,
How much viii l git on em?n-Tsr,,
SytingS.
It's mighty curious how big som.
faults look until after a man has com
mitted them himsef.-Burllqtoa h.,
Press.
Many man has come up from po,,
ing who has put a good many bic f-
ures IL front of zero before he died
Boston Gazette.
Mrs. Wickwire-'How do Won IN.
the waist of my new dressPn Mr.. Wics.
wire-'I don't know. Have YOU goth
on?"-Terre Haute Express
He-"You women are forever tarl
ing about your clothes She-"AniI
you men are forever talking aboD,
yourselves. boston Transcript
1t isn't every country that has. Ike
the United States, the free choice Of \
national bird. Russia would be a TIM.
key-gobbler if she dared.-Lite.
Many professions are crowded. br
there is always room at the top. Taka
the elevator, young man, and YOU will
get there.-NeD Orleans Picayaue.
When a married man buttons bb|
suspenders on eightpenny nails it 81
sure evidence that he has been disar.
pointed in love. Bingbanlt0n ReDult.
can.
A swallowtail coat may be Just the
proper thing for the bridegroom at II
fashionable wedding, but for an elops
ment there is nothing like cut-awav
Puck.
Guest-"You seem musical. | al
ways hear YOU whistling What Is
your fayorite songP" Waiter Re-
membah me, sah!" He got a quarter
~ T. sum-
At the seashore: Wagner-"yey
scriptural scene, this. Wigner
"Hows that?n Wagner ut is reg
ular chapter Of revelations. "-Tev
Haute Express.
Clara-'I thought you were going
to marry Mr.. Snodgrass?' Kitty (agei
1S)-'I was, but broke the engage.
ment. The old fraud is using the new
elixir - Time.
Remsen Kuhler (to his groom, with
severity Stanley, / hear that YOU
were little Off when YOU came home
last night. Stanley -'Yis, sor;i it wUr
me noight off. "-Puct.
Deryish means zone who lies at the
door. 1t is not proper to call re.
turned fisherman a dervish, for he be-
gins it as soon as he gets on the ferry
boat.--SaH Francisco alta.
There may not be any such thing IS
the elixir Of life, but the youth thinks
he has found something very near
when he kisses the girl he loves for the
first time. boston Courier.
Just think! Mr.. Bullion is coming
down tomorrow, and | haven't bath.
ing suit that's fit to be seen why
think that black one is very decent
Yes, that's just Thine.
sullivan" Say, Murphy, phwat tn
devil do tn thrae balls name over the
pawnbroker's doure?' Murphy-"O
fought iyry intelligent mon knew the!
names fait', hope, an charity. "-7ine'
Clara (patronizingly)-"It is good
plan for person in society to try, Of
least, to look wise" Debutante-
True! But don't you sometimes find
it hard to do SOP rake'S Magazine
what do you mean, sir, by swear
ing before my wife! You must aPolo'
gize" Pardon, monsieur! Pardon
/ do make re apology. l did not know
~ lady wish TO swear re first. Boston
Times.
They were speaking of an inveteraie
talker Did she have the boldness 70
say that?" exclaimed the gentle Mrs.,
Low in a Mortified voice. Say thsEs
Shed say anything except her prayers
Judge
Mr.. McCorkle-' What are You g.
ing to do with that knitting? thong"
you We're going shopping" Mrs Nc
Corkle-'So am, but l want to utl.i4.
the hours | shall spend while waiting
for change. Time.
Young wife-"Ach! how fortunate !
am in possessing a husband who ~,
ways tags at home in the evening
Bosom friend-"Yes; your HUSBAND
never was much addicted to pleasure
-FHcgaaas Batter.
Mrs. De Fashion Cat Long Branc.a
Store) there anything ne" u
bathing suits2" Fair Clerk 'N..
madam We have nothing more gu
laudiSh than he one You bought A''
monta. ~ J. IItetly.
Stranger I'D like ter git io1 :,
something but Im % stranger hare