Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1890-02-01
THEIR IDlOSYNCRASIES.
DILL ME- IorEs SoxR ufrLB sDDnIEl
or lI8RlClH1


A lawyer In the parlor car Of Q wesl
bound train yesterday allowed me = copy
Of . curious document illustrating thl
crude meshods q early time: In ths wss,
which social laws were administered whsu
the co1ntsy was new. Il IL . copy Of {
kind Of marriage license, lie pendens,
would ny, nled in 1S26-an the court hons.
q Peoria ltls and reads - follows: -
KAow ~ that John Smith end Penny
Myers = hereby entitled TO 20 together a
married folks does, anywhere In Coporaa
precinct, and when my commission comes
am % marry them for good and data
=. N. b., Justice Of Peace.
This bona nde document, and shows
not only Q wonderful command of language
and an artistic method Of word painting,
but illustrates also the fact that Justice
Of the peace often possessss . kind and
We were speaking amer this Of the in
creasing death rate and incidentally Of the
terrible boom In the undertaking business,
when 9. quiet old gentleman scross the
aisle faid he was surprised to notice that
the nndertakers could not Keep up with
the work or fill the orders made on them.
There IL no brs mess ON earth, he
said, that ought to be ready for an
emergency any easier than the undertaking
%v!ns 6rsinSs; S,. rss used e 3 an undsr.lsi .%
retired. / am able TO live without It now,
and am willing to state that the death
rate must increase good deal faster than
1t has before undertaking need bo hustled
or crowded very much;
you to know how cheaply they can make
Q coffin. I've known bereaved relatives
10 pays.for o handsomely fitted up and
thoroughly lined coffin, and get Q pine box
with knot holes in it, lined mostly with
with cheap black cloth. had stock in .
coffin factory for three years, and we could
mako one Of these receptacles about a.
cheaply as you could peach basket. A
coffin that is covered, as the most Of them
sss. ses is ds.s pafy sa Sh'ag .s nsd 0 S%ss i
that couldn't be used anywhere else, the
knots were SO large and liable to drop out.
We, Of course, knew the sizes Of our
customers, and 80 aimed to 30 arrange It
that a,,'d y there here :, was as large knot hole We
couldn't sift through op his way to the
There is very good profit in this busi.
ness indeed, and the deeper the grief Of
the family the more you can stock 1t to
cred. Cremation was all that we were
ever afraid Of That would have knocked
us all to pieces, and some day It will do
1t too, The present methods are too
tempting to the shrewd American under
taker.
+" We got ss5 for little white casket
once. 1t was marked Our Pet. ha ed
myself for charging that price, for we
cleared $40 on it, and I couldn't eat my
meals all day. took it up to the house
wishing could wear mask like other
in order to get few dollars. There was
white Grape on the door, and all was
hushed about the house. People who
passed walked on their toes, and held
their own children little tighter by the
himself might yet be lurking behind
tree box in the neighborhood
Well, went back after I'd delivered
the casket, and next day l found that II
was for little dog that had never been
deodorized during his life, and who had
not relented even in death.
His mistress told me that he was q
very talented dog and knew as much az
she did herself Her bursting heart was
still sore, and 30 did not contradict her. +"
9o1h aa 0aH and p% s ass
may interest others who have passed
through similar one. had been up to
Harlem for the evening, addressing q
large and spellbound audience of people,
most of whom hung on my lips for quite
who paid my elevated fare and bade We
good night at One Hundred and Twenty
fifth street. was in full evening dress
and the flush of social success was on my
brow. While waiting for South Ferry
pocket and read that my income was
estimated at 81 900 per week. was just
figuring out what this would amount to In
case lived to be 95 years old, when 1t
occurred TO me that the train would soon
be along. So went to the window with
In NIL orlxS xSvxsv
clothes and asked for ticket.
Reluctantly. the salesman tore one of
and showed it out at me. The train came
just then, and got nervous, for l could
not find any change. The train went away,
and still did not discover any change |
anywhere. The ticket man told me to 60
away and give those who had money q
show. 1 went away.
You know how earnestly you feel In
your pockets under those circumstances.
Finally it was clear that had no money
lin those clothes.
thought would take my bag down
stairs, where would be less disturbed,
and open 1t. Very likely / would find
some money In my working clothes.
got in the shadow Of an iron post and
yet earnestly, went through the gar:
|ments as people came along and looked
|over my shoulder to see what kind Of
|clothing had. I did not find any money,
but ! came near being arrested twice
while / was ascertaining the fact.
/ put back most of the clothes in q
buried manner and clutching wildly at
|my hair, wondered what to do next.
|,ould not ring for messenger, or If
hid could not pay him when he came.
Just then little boy with purple lips and
xatery, hungry eyes came along and
begged me to buy an evening paper Of him.
He saw that was richly clothed, and no
Iha