The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1890-11-28
AN AMERICAN PIRATE.

II was about five years ago that
saw an advertisement in great literary
Journal. II ran as follows:
FfcTIoN-w Wanted. Novels and Short Stories.
originality is required, and will be hberally
dealt With. 4 good serial novel, about is0.001
Bilfkins. printers. Bouverle Street. f. Q.
Thorough originalitym / cried;
why. that's my strong point; hang
It. I'm nothing II Tn not originall
Why. / can reel II out by the yard
quite comfortably. just as though had
been literary silk-worm." And so
could. then. PletsP poohl never
even troubled about plot; | just sat
down and began TO fire away to Miss
Dashes (Miss Dashes is my shorthand
writer and amanuensiS) and the plots
came; they came rs n matter of course.
Now it's different; they don't come as
they used to. I'm at times even tempted
TO read other peoples fiction and St.
! mean adapt" their ideas. / wish /
knew Dutch. Nobody knows Dutch.
There must be a magnificent field for
recul-- | mean adaptation in Dutch
literature. At the time / speak of /
was exceedingly original In my set
determination 10 be original both In
manner and matter. | read nothing but
my own manuscripts. which were many,
and my own proofs. which We're few.
Now ] read good deal, with the re-
suit that I'm not nearly so original as
was. OF course I've grown artful;
I've got the measure Of certain editorial
feet Some want climax give 'em
climax; others demand pathos give
seln pathos. One man likes plenty of
It'll give him plenty Of il; another
wants concentrated plot q, e., the plot
Of three~volume novel in column
and q quarter)-l give it TO him.
There's one man who likes the pleasant
cynical vein, and. though I'm person
ally romantic enthusiast, | give him
what his soul sighs for. BY all this
YOU will see that I'm a very talented
and many-sided person, and hard
worker.
At the sight of that advertisement l
called in Bouverie street. After a
good deal of beating about the bush.
learned that Z. j. WAS the manager of
a syndiesfe-f. {. he was n wholesale
dealer in literatnre; he was the middle
man. that proverbially indispensable
middle man. who is so very dear TO us
alk After several unsuccessful at
tempis. succeeded in seeing p. j. in
the flesh. He wore spectacles. he spoke
with drawl, and he was evidently a
man of business.
You send in a sample, Uncle
Dudley. said he, with noble familiar
ity. sEf it suits we shall deal at New
York price. which is ten dollars a
thousand words. That seems TO as
tonish you. he said; "but we act liberal
in the States
eDa.fA r,Nffssvrx
could be fairer nothing could be
nohler.
You Jest whack in a short thing as
q sample. We return either the stuff
or the money in week"
Then he offered me a particularly
good cigar. / went straight home. /
despatched thousand-wcrd story to
p. j., and in forty-eight hours got the
following note:
sIR: Your tale Is ring-tailed roarer. can
take any amount of similar stuff enclose
Che equivalent of ten dollars in n postal order
Please call at two to-morrowi Ts,,o.s sss,i,s,,r
could have clasped z. j. to my
breast. Here was an appreeiative
n1iasi, a congenial spirit. l thought
that the leaden-footed hours till two
the next day never would have passed,
but the time came at length-it struck
TWO at last by the clock OF st. Brides.
and was shown by one of Bliffkins
the printers people into the presence
of P. ].
The American received me in the
most genial manner.
You're the bow" he said; ''you are
the chap that takes the cake, Mr..
Nibbs. cried P. J. Il am prepared
10 run you altogether; it's only a
question of terms. my boy and our
folks are full-they are absolutely
bursting with dollars. But there's one
thing. Mas'r George; is the rest of your
stuff up TO sample? That is the point
that and the question of terms. "
Then he handed me huge cigar. I'VE
pay fifty cents for 'em in the States.
he said.
I never met such liberal man as p.
J. before. His people had every con-
fidence in him.; he had full powers.
How mach stuff had / gotp" WAS
I ready TO deal on the basis of ten
dollars thousand, for all the stuff
had finished?''
Can fish swimP Was / readyE
Aye, that / was.
1T amt the actual cash. remarked
p. j.; its the reputation. Our people'll
run you in American, and Wen take
you in the lump at ten dollars a
thousand words all round. Es that
good enoughe Eff you are satisfied,
shoot the stuff i'm
I agreed-of course l did. / re
turned to my home. i made up huge
parcel of manuscripts. / calculated
the amount of the check l had to re
ceiye at eight thousand dollars, or two
thousand pounds. for there were eight
hundred thousand words, or there
aboutS; and then / waited patiently.
Would P. j. take them all? Would
he take half / waited. say, patiently
After a month l received parcel; il
contained my manuscripts and the fol
lowing note;
DEAR SIR: regret to have TO return you
Mss. Yours, faithfully, P.
Five years elapsed.
! had got on-sl0wly, terribly slow
"; but I had got on. had published
over two hundred short stories. foul
novels. and l had plenty of work or
hand and no difficulty in placing it
Ny publishers wanted to see me.
was delighted; they had probably some
thing to propose; I saw visions of
new agreement, and acheck in advanc'
on account. or at least a three-months
bill Zone can discount a BILL
[ put on my three-thousand-pound-a
. -. suit q always put on my three
Observation-Disclosures suit when / cal
on p2blisher-it awes 'em); and
was showQ into the sanctum. Old Mr.
Scorcher. Me head of the firm. re
ceiyed me. generally see Wagge