River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1890-07-10

have built up our Western empire, the
effect of whose presence and efforts is
visible in the beautiful, moral and
cultured Hays City of to-day.
During the early period of the strug-
Cling towns existence, it had, for its
Justice of the peace, stubby, red
headed little Irishman, with a most pro-
nounced brogue. lie was a man of some
education and good-hearted, who loved
his whisky, which frequently laid him
out" and who made many friends, but
whose construction of the power in his
official capacity, delegated by the con-
stitution, war widely at variance with
the facts.
His Office was a rickety, tumble-down
shell of boards on the main street, fur
nishcd with an ordinary pine table and
few rough benches. 1t had one door,
and four windows on each side with
broad stills, elevated about three feet
above the floor. This stern conservator
of the public peace always commenced
business with the stereotyped sentence:
Hats off, nowl this courts in ses-
sion!"
One time an Irishman was brought
before him for some infringement of the
municipal regulations. lie mulcted
the unfortunate delinquent in the enor-
nous sum of forty dollars, but discov-
cred, to his disgust, that his victim was
penniless. Here was dilemma; he did
not care to commit the man to Jail in
Saline County, over one hundred miles
away; it was the money he was after,
and, finding that brother of the ac-
cused, a recent Importation from Ire
land, was present, he called him up,
asked him if he had any cash, and being
anwered in the Affirmative, said: well,
the fines on you, thin" And he col
lected it, too.
Once, when a verdant young lawyer
fresh from the East took exception to
some of his rulings and proposed to APP
peal the case, the Judge grew furious
and said "I'll have you TO know there's
no higher court than this! There's no
appale from my court, and I'll fine yees
fer contempt av yees talk av an appaler'
The young man consequently subsidized.
At another time a cowboy was brought
before him charged with murder, who,
"as the legend hath it," had contrived,
through friend, to quietly slip five
hundred dollars into the hands of the
Judge. When the man was called into
court and was asked: ''Are yees guilty
or not guilty?" he replied: GUILTY.
"Well. yees are big fool to plade that
way, and | discharge yees for want Of
ividence," so discharged he was.
He had a case before HIM during the
latter days of his reign in which the
ownership of heifer was in cOntro-
versy, the evidence Ringing upon Ger
tain brand supposed to be somewhere
on the animal. Ii was after four o'clock,
and both ''coort" and jury were in a
condition their frequent rounds to
the saloons during the day would nat
urally leave them in at that late hour.
As the trial waxed warm, the Judge
became satisfied that the jury must have
ocular proof of the existence of marks
or brands on the animal in controversy,
so he ordered the acting sheriff to bring
the haste to the door where the jury
could see it."
The heifer. after some delay, arrived
at the front of the building, notice of
which was promptly conveyed to Ibis
honor" But the majority Of the jury,
who had become somewhat obstreperous
by this time, swore they wouldn't go out
side to look at any id heifer; if the
Judge wanted them to view her, let the
sheriff bring her inside"
The order was given, but the unruly
animal objected decidedly TO the man
date of the court, ard refused TO enter
after several abortive attempts to COM
pei her. At last the sheriff, worked up
to adegree of desperation. with the aid of
few idle loungers, friends of his, got
the brute's head fairly pointed at the
door, and dexterously twisted her tail,
cowboy fashion. The now enraged
beast, with horns lowered and bawling
with pain, incontinently rushed into the
presence of the ''coort" regardless of
the sanetity of the place.
1t did not take moment for the spec
tators at the trial to make good their
escape by the door as the Infatuated
creature made break for the little red
headed Judge, who, the moment he saw
the state affairs had assumed, got down
prone upon the floor close TO the wall,
when the table under which he had
crept shielded him from the horns OF
the heifer. who made several attempts
to '.get at his fat little person." The