Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-11-10
ALL BUT LOVE.

The ladies' Heaven bless them! how we fondle
and caress them,
Give them freely of the stores we have laid
by;
Call them fascinating creatures, praise their
hands, their eyes and features,
Then if they do not smile on us we sigh.
We take them to the seaside, we treat them to
a sleigh ride,
When the sun shines or the snow is on the
ground.
We like fools are always acting to supply their
wants exacting,
And when they apply for pennies give a
pound.
We follow them like poodles; we always will
be noodles
While trying to persuade pretty Miss;
And when she has relented, her papa has con-
sented,
We revel in the depths of sweetest blissI
Then comes the merry wedding; it's really
smooth shedding
Adown the path where love our feet hath led,
Until she fussily expresses with for tailor
fashioned dresses
And finely-feathered bonnets for her head.
o, ladies' heaven bless you'll tho it costs a heap
to dress you,
To us YOU are like angels from above;
Tho you make US put out paper to pay milliner
and draper,
You never can force us to bankrupt Love!
THE pupil of the eye is incessantly lashed.
THIS is bad year for figuring. New York
clamors for a recount of its population and
Philadelphia wants recount of the votes cast
on election day.
1T pays to be honest and upright. even in
politics.
DON'T let the honeymoon end with the trip.
We newly mated, 1t should never end.
TIN as we'll as gold seems to have played an
important part in McKinley's election district
THE spectators who have uncovered the
gold beds of the Feather River have feathered
their nests.
THE people have revised the list of conrribu-
tors to the Congressional Record.
LOVE laughs at marriage laws as we'll as
divorce courts.
THE bottom facts will in the long run come to
the surface concerning every man. The public
can be deceived for a time, but as sure as the
sun shines the truth will triumph, and every
man will, like Judas 'go to his own place."
BETWEEN board bills and bill boards the
theatrical managers have hard row to hoe.
GRASS widows are not as green as the name
would indicate.
A CIRCUS parade draws a bigger crowd than
the performance. Some of the candidates who
swung around the circle after the farmers had
finished their fall plowing should bear this fact
in mind
LOVERS like deaf and dumb folk, can talk
with their hands.
WHEN the victors cry fraud the people are
inclined to think there is something in 1t.
THE Bay of Fundy should make nice sum-
mer resort for the humorists.
THE hornets nests are hanging high in the
trees, the farmers claim;
And by this sign they prophesy that winter
will be tame.
If they Alright can read the signs. when Indian
summer goes,
A mid squaw winter will set in, and add to
ice mems woes.
IFPresident Harrison had written his Thanks.
giving proclamation before the elections it might
have been little more cheerful.
DISCUSS the faults of others with yours elf
and then you will not get anybody else into
trouble.
PEOPLE who trust to luck get very little
credit in this world.
THE Mckinley bill made eggs dearer, but
rocsters seem to be on the free list.
GEORGE WASHINGTON was never licked
until he was placed on postage stamp.
IT is much easier to lose friends than to find
them.
THE rich need Christian charity, but the Door
need the other sort
THE human eye can look into the grave. but
only the minds eye can look beyond it
IF blind people could open their ewes the
world would disappoint them.
WE all have faults. but that's our own bust.
ness.
A soUrHsIDE girl actually found man