The Delta independent., 1890-02-04

Hss. end Plays Hh fsrs 70 . Laas.iss
1asts
About . year ago. writes Whl Z
Baksr. In the Kansas City Referee. an
evening paper discovered, or thought
1t had discovered which amounted to
the same thing as far as was concern
cd. some sensational rotteness In tho
management Of the State Asylum for
the Insane at Fulton, Mo. The un-
earthing OF this much desired mares
nest was plainly difficult One cannot
break into ad insane asylum, inspect
the food. interview the lunarcs and
look over the books without meeting
with embarrassing obstacles. 50 it was
decided to have one Of the staf TO be-
como temporarily insane and got In
through tho usual channels and then
trust to luck. I was selected. perhaps,
as some Of my friends have humorous
ly suggested, for the reason that /
would have the least trouble; or none
at all in playing the part but this Is
immaterial. To cut 1t short, one bright
winter day passed through the pretty
little seat OF Galloway county and into
the grim, iron barred home OF dethron-
cd reason.
In the corridor to which I was
assigned were altogether seventeen
cranks zone OF whom / was which,"
For about three hours they gathered
around and sized me up without q
word, and when one OF them went over
In a corner about ten feet away and
had terrible epileptio fit all BY him.
self to which nobody paid the least at
tention, l began to feel blue; but after
dinner the atmosphere began to clear
and my odd companions oommenced to
thaw. One Of the sixteen, . white
haired gentleman, was particularly
friendly and entertaining and taught
me number Of things in a short
time which never knew before. He
said he had been living in the planet
Jupiter nearly all his life. although
born near Lexington, Mo, and had
come down on earth for holiday visit
to his friends and get some tobacco
which was not to be obtained in
Jupiter. l gave him half a plug and
he opened his heart to me, telling me
all about ST. John the Baptist aud the
twelve apostles who lived near his
JuPiterian residence, In fact on the
next block, and wound up by inviting
me to play q game Of billiards with
him.
OF course this occasioned me no
surprise. After the Jupiter story
was prepared for anything and did not
within mile OF US. but he dragged
m pR ~ %ha Af H.. h.1l <ho
in well lighted. handsomely appoint
ed little room was billiard table, cues,
balls and all the necessary parapher-
lunatic asylum billiard fixtures and
halls go. We played and beat him.
! am not really great player,
but a two cushion carom rattles a
genuine lunatic and I soon had my
man under perfect control by few
lucky shots and successful mAsse
that made his eyes stick out and glare
alarmingly. beat him. Then l dis
counted him and beat him again. He
trotted away with grunt and came
back in a minute or so dragging an
other lunatic who eyed mo suspicious.
ly, then nodded, picked up cue and
Jagged about six times across the table.
his ball winding up in the middle. /
made my position on the score nicely,
the table was small, there were four
balls IS big as a Chicago mans gall
and with the help OF providence ran
twenty. My opponent wouldn't play
and throwing down his cue walked OF
somewhere, don't know whore, may
be to have q fit; at any rate did not
see him again that day.
After that was again avoided. Ny
companions In lunatic durance would
gather in knots and eye me askance as
ut first think they suspected was .
ringer" and as really was sailing
under an assumed name began to feel
like one. At last they came to con-
clusion which appeared satisfactory
and broke UP for the night Next day
the conspiracy was unveiled when Il
challenge arrived from an adjacent
hall and was requested to 60 over and
"do up" their champion. l went, /
saw, conquered. My third shot was
q draw, cushion carom that / cannot
account for TO this day and noble
scratch kiss on both reds. My antago-
mist wept bitterly, hung up his cue and
I was hailed champion Lupatic
Billiard Player OF Missouri" title 1
held for the ten days I remained hunt
ing the sensation; which I still hold
and am willing to maintain against all
comers. OF course as was only a crank
In disguise some objection may bo
raised to my title, but as 1t Is the only
championship have, propose to keep
It until competent board Of billiard
experts (cranks Of course) take It away
from me.