The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1890-09-24
AN AMERICAN PIRATE.

AN AMERlCAN PlRAIE,
1t was about five years ago that
saw an advertisement in a great literary
journal. 1t ran as follows:
FICTION-wanted,N Novels and Short Stories
suitable for high-class magazine. Thorough
originality is REQUIRED, and will be liberally
dealt with. A good serial novel, about 120, 900
words, can be treated for-P. j., care Of
Bliffkins, printers, Bouverie Street, E. C.
Thorough originalitym 1 cried;
''Why, that's my strong point; hang
it, I'm nothing if I'm not original
Why, Lean reel it out by the yard
quite comfortably, just as though had
been literary silk-worm." And so
could, then. Plots? pooh! l never
even troubled about plot; 1 just sat
down and began to fire away to Miss
Dashes (Miss Dashes is my shorthand
writer and amanuensis) and the plots
came; they came as a matter of course.
Now it's different; they don't come as
they used to. I'm at times even tempted
to read other peoples fiction and st
mean t'adapt" their ideas. 1 wish ]
knew Dutch. Nobody knows Dutch.
There must be a magnificent field fol
pecul- I mean adaptation in Dutch
literature. At the time l speak of l
was exceedingly original. In my set
determination to be original both in
manner and matter, read nothing but
my own manuscripts, which were many,
and my own proofs, which were few.
Now read a good deal, with the re-
suit that I'm not nearly so original as
Twas. Of course I've grown artful;
I've got the measure of certain editorial
feet. Some want climax give 'em
climax; others demand pathos-I give
'em pathos. One man likes plenty of
it-I give him plenty of it; another
wants concentrated plot (i. e., the plot
of three-volume novel in a column
and a quarte0-I give it to him..
There's one man who likes the pleasant
cynical vein, and, though Pm person
ally romantic enthusiast, / give him
what his soul sighs for. By all this
you will see that I'm very talented
and many-sided person, and hard
worker.
At the sight of that advertisement
called in Bouverie street After a
good deal of beating about the bush, l
learned that P. J. was the manager of
a syndicate-i. e. he was wholesale
dealer in literature; he was the middle
man, that proverbially indispensable
middle man, who is so very dear to us
all. After several unsuccessful at
tempts, succeeded in seeing p. j. in
the flesh. He wore spectacles, he spoke
with drawl, and he was evidently a
man of business.
You send in a sample, Uncle
Dudley" said he. with noble familiar
itV. Eff it suits we shall deal at New
York price. which is ten dollars a
thousand words. That seems to as
tonish you. he said; but we act liberal
in the States.
Nothing could he simpler, nothing
could be fairer, nothing could be
nobler.
You jest whack in a short thing as
a sample. We return either the stuff
or the money in week."
Then he offered me a particularly
good cigar I went straight home. ]
despatched a thousand-word story to
p j., and in forty-eight hours l got the
folio wing note:
c. Your tale is a ring-tailed roarer. / car
+oIn Iih; ~ Nmount of similar stuff ! enclose
ta taae any ent of ten dollars in postal order
P1essaa pie eauaSnS nai1 a, two tomorrow;
Z lease eiI aC Yours faithfully, P. j
T conld have. clasped P. j. to my
breast Here was an appreciative
,,,;n1 oonao;o I spirit. 1 thought
that the q leadenlfoot Ifoc ed hours till two
the next day never W. ,o nu+h h"VH e p,So ps,rnol
but the time came at lei e. p1;do,s
two at last by the clock o. o ne PiiFL;n, % q
and 1 was shown by one ,,raDann. III n ~,
the printers people into the eo>
of P. j. +h,
The American received me in ( 'N'
most genial manner. -,
YOU'RE the boy" he said; you /; VI
the chap that takes the cake, MI
cried P. J. II am prepared
to run you altogether; it's only o
question of terms, my boy, and our
folks are full-they are absolutely
bursting with dollars. But there's one
thing, Mas'r George; is the rest of your
stuff up to sample? That is the point
that and the question of terms"
Then he handed me huge cigar. eve
pay fifty cents for 'em in the States,
he said.
never met such a liberal man as P.
j. before. His people had every con.
fidence in him.; he had full powers.
''How much stuff had 1 gotp' 'Was
1 ready to deal on the basis of ten
dollars thousand, for all the stuff l
had finished?n
Can a fish swim? Was .readyf
Aye, that 1 was.
"It amt the actual cash." remarked
P. J.; '.it's the reputation. Our people'll
run you in American, and we'll take
you in the lump at ten dollars a
Al IL Ill % a
good enough? Eff you are satisfied.
shoot the stuff in"
I agreed-of course I did. I re.
turned to my home. made up huge
parcel of manuscripts. 1 calculated
the amount of the check l had to re.
ceive at eight thousand dollars, or two
thousand pounds, for there were eight
hundred thousand words, or there
abouts; and then waited patiently.
Would P. J. take them all? Would
he take half! I waited, say, patiently.
After a month I received parcel; 1t
contained my manuscripts and the fol-
lowing note;
DEAR SIR: / regret to haveto return youl
MSS. Yours, faithfully, ?. }
Five years elapsed.
I had got on-slowly, terribly slow:
ly; but had got on. I had published
over two hundred short stories, four
novels, and had plenty of work on
hand and no difficulty in placing it.
My publishers wanted to see me.
was delighted; they had probably some.
thing to propose; I saw visions of d
new agreement, and check in advance
on account, or at least a three-months
bill Gone can discount BILLY
1 put on my three-thousand-pound-a,
year suit q always put on my three
thousand -pound-a-year suit when cal
on publisher-it awes 'em); and
was shown into the sanctum. Old Mr.
Scorcher, the head of the firm, re
ceived me- generally see Wagge
Wagge is the junior partner-Wagg
and are rather thick.