The Press., 1890-01-16
For The Press.)

Issued Every Thulsday Evening. Il (For The Press) ''- 7
 HOW THEY MAKE KElTEAKETTLES,A AND HOW
 PICKED UP SOME STAFFORD GEOGRA.
 PHY OUT AMONGST THE BUCKEYES. I WRITTEN BY DITTO.
 I Is'pose you folks think't my geography
 business has busted, its been so long sense
 you saw any of it. Humph! not much ii
 ain't l. Didn't know t I'd been clean
 around the world, did ye? Humph! two
 Let's see first hitch circumsnavigated
 the globe-they cali it-long O that com
 ical Frenchman that tells such awful yarns.
 I uster call him Zhoola. I was his man, Passa patout, as 1t ware, you know. He
 showed me how they make leap years
 how they get in that extra day, you know,
 don't ye? Girls I'll want to know about
 that. Ye see its this way-kind of trick
 on the sun. He uster have notion folks
 was goin' to stay jest where they was, and
 not go to ehasin' round after leap years.
 Humph all you've you've got to do is to
 keep goin' round and round all the time,
 as he does, and you can git in that extry day every year, while he's climbing over
 the meridian, don't ye see? I'm almost sure I've got it right. ..-... ......-.
 Iwent round agin with Mrs.-what's her
 name ? --Brassey! in the yacht Sunbeam. Dye think she found out how they make leap years Humph guess not Bet ye
 five cents you might circumsnavigate the globe till ye was as old as Methuseleh, and all the days you could git into a year
 wouldn't be not more'n three hundred and
 sixty -four-not if ye went with any Mrs.
 Brasseys. Not that I've got anything
 agin her. We had scrumptious time.
 All the trouble was with her, she went
 the wrong way, that's all-didn't meet the
 sun n stop t shake hands. think-I'm
 almost sure I'm right. -.-...--.
 But when I clomb up behind on Tom
 Stevens bicycle we didn't take no stock in leap years-.found 'em, jest same, tho,
 did. So did them mules on the Erie canal
 toe-path t we come across. They didn't
 know what it was to go round the world
 on bicycle Humph we didn't stop to
 tell 'em-iust left 'em squabblin there in
 the water, diddlin' around He, he
 pretty comicle time goin' round the world .| I'm; a'most sure 1t is. .6ii. t. I Next time go I'm going on an electric
 car.s Have 1t fixed so't I'll go like light
 ming, 'n' have the wheels run on electro
 wires overhead m not get out at all till W. | git there-go right on over oceans n all l ye see, nd git there before we start, same, you might send telegram to San Fran
 cisco, don't you know, un' it'd reach tht
 Golden Gate three hours n some minutes
 fore ye sent it, if ye didn't have to unload
 lit. You'd thought of that, hadn't ye Humph! aH s <, @ al tt Humph mabbe ye hadn't heard of sucl feller as Hyland Kirk, nuther. He's go a notion that everybody s got battery il his noddle--a storage battery, he calls it ) of electricity. I guess its SO. N I'u i got mine crammed so full that s'll hay ) to let upaor I's'il shock ye so't you'll b ) runnin' round with your hair standin' ul strait. I'm almost sure I shall. , Say, you come down sometime, 'n' IT } tell you; or say-l why not wait til m, ] geography comes out 'n' then buy yersel } q geography, an know somethin'. That l But it's out amougst the Buckeyes t Tn | goin,r to tell about. this time. You don
 know what Buckeyes be2 sHumph! ( 3 Lord Dundreary If he'd heard what l did t'other day, wouldn't he made capita '. of it in his play
 t Twas girl hadnsome as a picter-ha, 3 beaus m all that. was talkin abou 7 Buckeyes, 'n' she says, up quick like
 Buckeyes what's that?" says she.. Buckeyes" says I, 'sis kind of hors : chesnut; or else horse chesnuts IS a kin, ] of Buckeyes"
 : "Chesnuts," says she. 1T should sa 3 chesnuts r .....,..-.... ] "Yes," says I q thought might a : well explain it all out to her while I wa 8 about it).7 '''And they call the folks ou
 there Buckeyes, too" says I. "Bucks n you know, is deers, and the whites of thei 8 eyes stick out jest the same as they do ol 3 them horse chesnnts-buckeyes, I mean. r "Dears?'' she says; ''and be the boy ! out there 'dears, too ?''
 @ 'Humph! guess they be !" says l. "AlI't saw was. Didn't ye know ths T. Ohio was called Buckeye state, all thro' ? a says I. I'm almost sure 'tis" -. d "Seems so I'd heard some'n' about it., ] says she. "But I alus posed they calle
 it SO after & mowin' machine" says she e Ut must be splendid place to live" say e she-'sa whole state full of dears !' A :, s N says, ."Yes; you're right there" F says. That want lie. Take it that wa @ 'n' she was right. Besides, thought k might as well give in. They's some folk we might as well talk to the moon as { o try to learn 'em anything.
 a But she kinder hung around, n see o I was in for it. So begun to tell he d about visit I made at foundry one day :. out in Medina that's Tn Ohio, you know l. I'm almost sure 'tis. , .: .,....- .-.. e Foundry ?" she says ssWhat's that 2
 J couldn't help but laugh. '.Humph Il says I. "Be you such an ignoramus 6 e all that comes to? Didn't you know thel y uster be three of lem right here in Sta ). ford ?" says I. II ''They did?" she says. "Foundries j. What d they find in 'em?'
 8 "Humph l" says I. "Iron ore and cha D coal, n oyster shells"
 d "Oyster shells? ?" she says. "What l. they do with them? ?'' t. I saw't I'd got job before me; but IT thought might as we'll shoulder it bray Il ly and have it done with. So told h, t. all out about it just as we'll as could
 s'They put the oyster shells, says
 "right into the furnace with the charco ss and the iron ore. I'm almost sure of it. D. ''What for ?" says she.
 B. "Why, to melt" says l. "What d.. l. s'poee ?'
 !. "To melt! Charcoal and oyster shel