The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1890-02-13
WIT AND HUMOR.

/ Herald.
Is the woman who goes to church to
exhibit her sealskin sacque-religious?-
/ Rome Sentinel.
| Laughter may be the poor mans
plaster but it is not very adhesive
/ Philadelphia Press.
Honesty is doubtless the best policy,
bat it seems to have expired long ago.
/ Laurence american.
The serpent was the most subtle Of
i all the beasts OF the field, but the army
+ trader is utler.-6oston Transcript.
While the Err glish drum beat is heard
around the world the American dead
/ beat isn't far behind.-1eras SJtings.
Women rarely are great inventors,
/ though they are often the first to t.ls-
1 cover new wrinkles.-Ierre Haute En-
/ press.
When YOU truly and deyotedly love
| girl who is as rich as she is pretty
it's hard to take no for an answer
| Epoch.
Its wise joke that knows its own
father after the religious papers have
/ quoted it once or twice. Sonaercttte
| Journal.
Some women like whispered tale of
| love, but belle prefers a declaration
made in ringing tones. = baltimore
| american.
When a woman loves man she goes
| the whole hog, even to the wart on his
nose. 1t isn't this way with man.
| PhiIadeIDbia I,lgHirer.
1t is very strange that among those
who set themselves up as great guns
the ones of the smallest caliber are the
biggest bores.-BostOn Transcript
What is sweeter than to have a
friend you can trust?" asked Sawkins.
TO have friend who will trust you,"
replied Dawkins.-Harttord Times.
Minnie-''And you say you shed no
tears at the play last night? | did. /
was so affected Mamie-"O, of
course. You always are. "-1erre Haute
| Express.
It's concentration of thought that
tells in our daily endeavor. Just watch
the face of the small boy when he is
| taking aim at a tramp cat.-Phiiadet-
| phia Inquirer.
Jaggs-"Did YOU swear off the 1st?n
Baggs-'.Well, l did, you know, and
this time it goes" Come in and have
one?n Don't care if l do '-PAtladel-
phia Inquirer.
First Man (excitedly)-"Our board
ing-Eouse is afire!" Second Man
(calmly)-''Come, then, hurry up, and
perhaps we may be able to get some
thing hot. ''-Ju'y.
Bioodgood - Travis dresses we'll,
doesn't he? l wonder what gives such
tone to his costume?n De Smith-'It
must be his trousers. They are always
loud. "-Burlington Free Press.
Suitor = Il love your youngest
daughter, sir" Pater-"Umph.
suppose you've heard that I have
settled dowry on my eldest daughter?"
Sutor-''In that case, sir, love her."
-Ep0ch.
Ii the mission class: Teacher
eau you tell me anything about the
man who went down from Jericho and
Tell among thievesen TIE New Boy
.0entativclO-'.Wuz it McGinty?" =
Boston Times.
Mr.. n. Peck (slapping his pockeD-
Heres nice state of affairs!" Wick
What's the matter? Forget
your pocketbook?" Mr.. N. Peck
Ie1re Ha~te Express.
Young Setfast- Had veal advent
ure the other day, Miss Sharpleigh
Went fishing and a gweat bwute of Il
| farm dog made me stay with him thwee
hours" Miss Sharpleigh Poor old
doggie. "-Drahe's INagazine.
An enthusiastic exchange refers to
the dresses of some actresses as per
! feet poems" 1t would be nearer the
mark to call them epigrams; because
well. there isn't much to an epigram,
you know. Philadelphia Press
Mabel-"Hal, dear, what makes YOU
always call me your little lamb?" Hal
because you always return to the
| fold, and he opened his arms with an
expectant and satisfied look upon his
smiling face.-Kearney Enterprise.
Arthur Gust beginning his French)
-.''Papa,is the French word'for money
of the feminine or masculine gender?"
Father Feminine, of course" '.Why.
| papa" Because. haven't you heard
that money talks? "-LoaUeU Citizen.
Mothe--..You don't seem tired Jen-
ME, for a young lady who attended a
dancing party last night?' Jennie
1T was II plumbers ball, you know, and
everything went SO slowly that one
could not get tired. "-Boston Herald.
Inquisitive Citizen = whats the
matter with the man? Been run over
by railroad tramp Ambulance Sur
| geon = Worse than that He was
caught among the womeRin a bargain
rush at Sellers" = Philadelphia In
I! Quirer.
Belinda Dearest, what was the real
reason of your marrying me?n AL
! phonZo-'1 think it was because l I'M
derstood you. And what was the rea-
son of your marrying me?" Belinda
Il think it was because did not I'M
derstand you.
Physician (to Mrs. Col. Blood of
Kentucky)-'.H did your husband
pass the night. Mrs. Blood?n Mrs
Blood-''He seemed quite comfortable.
| sir, and asked for water several times. !"
Physician with grave look Him
still Tightly Boston Beacon.
Mrs. Al think Mrs Smiths death
is such sad one. Nv heart fairly
aches for Mr. Smith" Mrs. B.-..Yes,
and the poor little children. 1t is a
terrible visitation. Will you be at the
funeral?" Mrs. 40, yes Mrs.
B.-"What are you going to wearP"-
Epoch.
You shouldn't have taken No for
an answer so readily. Charlie said his
more experienced friend; don't you
understand that a girls No often
means .Yes'?" .'She didn't say No
Jack. y responded Charlie. utterly with
out hope; she said Nav. "--Boston
Beacon.
Campaigning Mamma to confidential
friend of Mr.. u Really, young Mr..
| Greer backs is one of the most cultivated