, 1890-05-04

PLAYING AJAINsT sALvATIoNIsTs,
When they know the great adversary
Of souls as we'll rs | do they will not try
to scare him with cross eyed women or
hive him and his hosts by beating the
~t,mbounne, the sackbut aad the land
lord. Humanity, charity, soft soap and
unselfshness will do more toward giving
satan that tired feeling" than all the
loud and onion favored hosannas OF mis-
guided men and h~leating women, who
seek to harass the hosts of hell with a
bass drum while their own children, with
empty stomachs and unlaundried noses,
weep at home.
But | was speaking OF Astoria
bought a perpendicular lot there, with
pockets in it and brackets for holding
farm implements. Astoria was settled
in 1911 by Mr.. Astor. whose family are
said to be people Of means. His descend
ants live in New York and are among our
best people. The Astors and the Nyes
are quite thick. They often borrow
dishes OF US when they have company
com in suddenly on them. While our
ancestors were catching whales the Astors
we're catching "mushrats." The elder
Astor has prospered, however, more than
the elder Nyes, for when petroleum be-
gan to squirt through the ground our
folks had to hire out to Capt. Kid, while
the Astors did well in the fur, pelt and
Green hide business.
Astoria is really a good city and show,
much thrift and enterprise. The Aston
family would do a very commendable act
by establishing a library or some perma.
neut institution worthy OF themselves and
the thriving town. There are 5000 PEG,
pie in Astoria The canned salmon il.
caught all along here, and the low sob OF
the steamer echoes back from the rich
green velv stry moss which upholsters the
high steep banks, while ever and anon
the wall Of the sawmill calls forth the
sympsthetic tears of the highly saturated
sky, and the beautiful hills in their fir
trimmed garments give back an answer
ing sigh.
While | was there the president issued
his annual message, warning the seal
poachers to go right away from there.
By law be has to do this every veal or
lose his pay. | wish could get a chance
10 write a message for the president one
year. or. still better, prepare the speech
of the queen for parliament. just one
would do me. | presume it would also do
everybody else. But it would possess its
merita. | would write a speech for the
queen which, If she should memorize it
and get some good elocutionist to fix some
suitable gesture for il, would attract
and draw forth comment anyhow
Instead Of giving the long whiskered
sAI r.shn rtrsfa ate .L-pt I,,. - .a...
with the various foreign dynasties that
had married INTO. | would give a who'll
lot Of bright fiN ly gossip such as must
come TO the ear OF an old lady in such a
position Of trust and confidence as she
occupies, and | would work IN tile soci-
ETY. notes and a department called THE
Man About Town" The annual message
of the president too, is open to criticism,
Local hits about Washington woulI make
the document lar more juicy and gener
ally read. Instead of going on with six
or seven columns of nonpareil advice and
suggestions to congress as Il what to d.
during the coming session, | would boil it
down TO FIVE lines by saving: Gentlemen,
you may 20 home and do your election
eering if you please, instead of coming to
" Arlington to do 1t Leave your address
with me aud | will see that your salaries
are sent you.
The salmon industry is not so profitable
nov as it used to be. A salmon that used
TO cost rs cents now costs 81. 25 to the can
merry. 30 it is 4 question with them
whether they can can or not Yet
suppose that after a certain manner. a
Man might do well in a salmon cannery.
all styles Of business, however. on the
nyer and Sound seem to be doing we'll
Ii We do not mention the canneries, there
are the plneries, tanneries, fisheries, eat
cries, drinkeries and town lotteries. ]
do not know how the real estate men In
Astoria are, but certainly their lots.
many Of them at least, lead an upright
life.
L Just heard Of a young man in Port
land who came W with us on the steam
or California along with other things.
He Dragged good deal in social circles
alter he got home about how good a
sailor he was, and made quite a hero OF
himself. He made fun Of his fellow pas
sengen a great deal. and proceeded to be
the life Of the party. After a while .
young lady in the group began I o look
over some photographs and stereoscopic
views. Gradually she artlessly got the
attention of the rest and then she pro.
duced one which showed the young man
on board ship, exchanging bis view.
With the ocean. The picture spoke for it
serf with no uncertain sound.
He had forgotten about their being a
Kokak on board.
l sometimes think that science will
eventually make pre~varication utterly i'm
possible. but while there is still an oppor-
t1nlty l beg leave TO submit the above.
vhssh uas told to me by a mar in whom
1 bad Formerly the utmost confidence.
A cuzsoos feature OF the shore along the
ha.ks q the ColuubiA Ia the wood anme
It = . loag trough cut v shape and MN.
ported By high poles, making = schr,e
sometimes extending Tor miles up the in
accessible hills and tapping the almost IN
exhsustibIe pine woods which cover tn
bla6s. Eight or ten inches Of water vi
% Tie work Of hundred teams in scoot
The 6rs wood down these bills, and ]