Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1890-03-29
THE ARIZONA KICKER.
Several New SpeciAens of We.tern Edk.
rial E8serprIss

Cd
rial EaterprIsa
We extract the following f:om the
last issue of the Arizona Kicker.
II Hit The NAn--In our last issue
We called attention to the fact that we
had started a representative of the
Kicker around the world. That rep
le5entative is Apache Jim, q full blooded
Indian. He IS the first and only red
skin who has ever started out on such
tour, and probably the meanest and
dirtlest. He Is not TO see how quick he
can make the trip, but how long he can
be about it. We gave him So
to lay in a supply of tobacco and
whisky, and he will beat his way on
trains and steamboats,.
Our offer of q prize of a coyote skin
jacket to the person who guesses nearest
the time made by Jim has already
brought in 1850 guesses. ranging from
100 days to 40 years. and our enter
prise Is the talk of the whole West.
We don't wonder that our Topped cared
contemporary down the street is trying
to raise money to buy box of rough
on-Old-mossbacks. The only editorial
enterprise he has ever shown in this
town was in riding out two miles to
meet circus and seeking an interview
with the Dodo, whom he suspected was
his father in disguise.
IT's GO.-Last night we forwarded
request to the Governor to be allowed
to raise cavalry company here to be
known as "The Kicker Legion" and to
be appointed Colonel of the same. There
is no doubt but that this request will be
swallowed like hot buckwheat cake,
and that in less than two months the
streets of this town, will echo the thun-
der of charging squadrons. We pro-
pose to donate the weekly services of
six mules, in case our request is COM
piled with, and we promise the boys in
advance that we shall lead them on to
glory and death whenever it is conven-
lent to do so.
How are you ~Coloner-a real live
Colonel with commission in his pocket
and a bosom full of patriotism and
| glory! No wonder the old shellback
down the street sits and gazes into
vacancy by the hour. He has lost his
grip in this town. and he sees the hand
writing on the wall. No advance will
be made in our advertising rates on this
account All advertisements intended
for the weeks issue must be in by Tues
day noon.
Now LET HIM HowL.-When the
old chattol mOrtgaged, bankrupted,
poverty-stricken concern down the
avenue which claims to be newspaper
bought an old power press over in
Tombstone City on tick and had it
hauled over here by a twelve mule team,
he expected the American continent to
tip up at an angle of 40 degrees. "He
was the first to display enterprise 1T
was the first power press in town-he
would show the people what real
| newspaper enterprise was, and so forth
and so on. That press, as everybody
knows. has proved fat failure, except
to kill off two half-breeds who talked
into its bowels under the idea that it
was photograph, and as for any i'm
provements in the typographical ap-
pearance or interest of our contempor-
airy it isn't there. Nothing but a
drunken riot and case of absolute ~pi"
could do that.
We haven't been growing around any,
We now take pleasure in announcing to
our readers that, beginning next week,
we shall not only ink the forms of the
Kicker with regular glue and mo-
lasses roller procured in Denver at a
great expense and as particular favor,
but we shall place jar of beans in our
window and offer 100years' subscription
to this paper to the person making the
nearest guess as to the exact number.
Three months will be allowed for send
ing in the guesses.
And as if this were not enough to
make the aforesaid cross-eyed, lame
iointed. buck-kneed, one-storied hyena
who adds the word editor" to his name
wish he had never been born, we shall
offer prize of four gallons of whisky
to the half-breed who can wear shirt
the longest, and take our whole Office
force up in a balloon as soon as the
vehicle, already contracted for, can
arrive here.
Now let our cotemporary howl with
his cracked voice and gnash his old
snags together! We have only just be-
gun with him. He talk of editorial en-
terprisel He pirate of giving subscrib
ers double the value of their money!
Why, we can think of more schemes in
five minutes than could be crowded into
his Uranium in two thousand years
We've been little saving of late. but
now that this socalled publisher" has
seen fit to blow his bugle horn about
enterprise we'll go down into our sock
and spend our last dime to drive him
into rabbit hole and plug up the en-
trance.-Detroit Free Press.