The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1890-02-20
Nellie Bly, Beaten.
A TRIP AROUND THE WORLD IN SIXTY
MINUTES THAT BREAKS THE
pECORD
From the Chicago Tribune.

From the Chicago Tribune.
CHICAGO. Jan IA, 2090, II a. Nam
lust starting for trip around the world
NY baggage consists of an opera glass, a
couple of oranges and ten-cent cigar.
New YORK, 1:02.-Reached this city
by pneumatic tube. Only special fea-
ture of the whirl across the country was
a momentary smell of coal oil while
passing through the State of Pennsyl-
vana.
LONDON, 11:10.-Lost nineteen seconds
in New York on account of having to
stop and subscribe to the Grant monu-
ment fund, the memorial arch fund and
the Greedy monument fund. The fell
lows said it was the custom for every
bod outside of New York-to drop a
few nickels in the slot for those funds
and get card of thanks. They were
confident the monuments and the arch
would be built within the next $40 years
at fartiest | came to this city by the
well known Skyrocket route. Got here
four seconds behind time, having had to
dodge two cyclones and a pair of trousers
belonging to an English tourist. The
trousers had dropped from rocket train
just ahead of us and We're gyrating wild
ly through the air on their way down
from the clouds.
PARIS, 1:19-Am four minutes and a
half behind time. The lazy tongs"
tramway that runs to this city by tunnel
under the English Channel and overland
the rest Of the way was not sufficiently
creased and it took us nearly five min
utes to make the last fifty miles This
lack of grease shows that the French
couldn't run political campaign in
Ohio to save their lives.
ROME, 1:27.-Nearly ten minutes be-
hind time The passenger bomb in
which | Travelled to this point scraped
against the sides of the sheet-iron
vacuum rainbow it was fired throughand,
we had to put OH brakes to prevent hot
boxes. have just hired an Italian bri
gand to 90 Out behind the Coliseum
and swear as long and as hard as he
feels justified III doing for $2.65.
CALCUTTA, 1870. = My time is half
gone and | am not yet half way round.
Came from Rome by the Electric In
clined Plane route. The cars are huge
Hgnum-vite balls that roll down the
hollow tube through which a blast of
air is forced by powerful dynamos. The
sensation of travelling in this way is
novel but not particularly enjoyable.
HONG KONG, 11:40.-Ten minutes be-
hind schedule time. Came from Cal
cutta to this place by the famous Cata
putt line. There was delay of several
minutes in cutting the cable that held
the spring down at the western end of
the line. A sacred white elephant was
standing on the trap and nobody liked
to take the liberty of asking him to
move Off.
SITKA, ALASKA, 11:50-The Chinese
at Hong Kong have their oldtime ha
tired of foreign devils They fired me
out OF there by the Projectile route to
kamtchatka. where | took the Electric
Toboggan slide. Came from Petropaul-
oyiski to this place i'll a large hollow
ioicle. the slide being laid across Behr-
ing Strait, which is fortunately frozen
over The icicle was very much worn
and haggard by the time it got there.
Only ten minutes now to get to Chicago.
oiTKA, 11:50.-Hayn't got away from
here yet. Went out and caught a seal
and a bad cold while waiting. Have
just made a bet of 500 I'll go through
on time.
CHICAGO, IS m.-Was delayed at Sitka
till 11:aa in consequence of slight
change in the time table. Stepped into
the alright tube of the Great Overland
Rubber Band Air Line route at that
exact moment, the catch was loosed and
the gigantic elastic rope, made of the |
best Para rubber and stretched to its
utmost tension, whisked me across the
country, more than $500 miles in di-
rect line, in the twinkling of an eye.
Reached here with more than half a
minute TO spare,
1t isn't a difficult job to go around the
globe in sixty minutes. All you need |
beside your ticket is a fan, an overcoat,
a bottle of luno balsam and small bot
tie of the other kind of balsam to coun-
teract the effect of sudden changes Of
Dillafn.
Anybody can go around the world in
sixty minutes.
In the Old fogy days of 1890, two hun
dred years ago, it was Thought a won
derful thing to make the trip in seventy /
two days, six hours and eleven minutes. !
rnis only shows that the people OF that
bygone age were not really sensible of /
their misery. They thought they were
pretty smart. Let us regard them, my
countrymen, with feelings of sincere
compassion rather than contempt,
My little iauiit has made me hungry.
piust go 10 lunch. 7. KNOTT.
For lame back, side or chest, use Shi-
loh's Porns Plaster, Price 90 cents at
On. ctt