davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-12-06
Saved by YaWord.

why, what's the matter, Charley, dearf
Pray tell me, darling, pleaser'
"What is that? Darling did hearf
You've cured my heart diseaser'
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-12-06

EVE never worried Adam because her gown
didn't set nicely in the back.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-12-06

Bob INGERsoLL says the Democrats always
hold four aces when there's nothing in the
pot. Not dollar this time, at all events.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-12-06

THE Sioux merely sue for piece Of meat,
but the soldiers won't have it that way.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-12-06

AN estimate of the sum which each dead
Indian will cost the Government in case war
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-12-06

WHY not send out little German band to
play for the ghost dancers. This would stop
them.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-12-06

Now the correspondents say the Indians are
sleeping on their guns. It's dollars to dough-
nuts that they're sleeping on their arms,
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-12-06

GOVERNOR PATTIsoN's Cabinet, as an
ago still stands.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-12-06

THERE may be flaws in the hues. Don't go
to bed and leave the gas on full head.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-12-06

THE Indians want meat, put the soldiers
thirst for blood.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-12-06
The words with the yowels,

To the Editor of the Dispatch:
The two words containing the vowels in their
order are "abstemious" and ''facetious."
PITTSBURG, Dec. g. SMALL Boy.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-12-06

THERE'S many a slip between the home and
the shop nowadays. Go slow.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-12-06

WASHINGTON notes-New bills from the
Bureau of Engraving and Printing.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-12-06
The Way of the World.

Some want to Danish cigarettes,
Some want to stop election bets;
Some want to give US racing pools,
Some want to separate the schools;
Some want to crush thearer hats,
Some want to keep up baseball spats;
Some want to poison all the dogs,
Some want to read all Stanley's logs;
Some want to have an Indian war,
Some want to close up every bar;
Some want to tell US when TO rest,
Some want to coax Is to invest;
Some want to set the social pace,
Some want to run the human race;
Now if they only would keep quiet
The world would wag along all right,
And life would not be such fight.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-12-06

OPPORTUNITIES are not scheduled on lifes
time card, but only the sIuggards miss them.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-12-06

Vols No. SJ2.- Entered at Pittsburg Postofice,
November Il, lSS7, as second-class matter.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-12-06

MRS. O'SHEA must know by this time that
Parnell has tongue and a temper, too.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-12-06
Business Off1ce-Corner Smithfeld
and Diamond Streets.
News Rooms and Publishing House


10, Z z duU y DIdIuUEIU lOII O5I.
EASTERN ADVERTISING OFFICE, ROOM q,
TRIBUNE BUILDING. NEW YORK. where
complete flies of THE DISPATCH can always be
found Foreign advertisers appreciate the con-
venience. Home advertisers and friends of THE
DISPATCH while in New York, are also made
welcome.
THE DISPATCH is regularly on sale at
Brent1HO's 5 Union Square. NelO York, and II
Are. de Opera, Paris, France. Uhere anyone
irho has been disappointed at a hotel nelcs
stand can obtain it,
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-12-06

THIS is the age of reason, but, hang it, there
seems to be too many reasoners.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-12-06

sc1ENr1F1c ghost dances are conductad b,
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-12-06
1890.
Boston's Psychical Researchers. They are
cheaper than the Indian sort.
In Ireland stage supe is broth of boy.

lecture, 60 on the stage or retire to private life
SOME people try to make US believe that life
is a game Of bluff. They 60 to pieces when
forced to show their hands.
WILLIE WINKLE.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-12-06

AUTHORS are placed on the same footing as
inventors under the copyright law. 1t is a
righteous measure.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-12-06

A FORCE bill-The policeman's city warrant.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-12-06

Little Jack Horner sat in a corner
Handling Christmas toy;
Alas! for poor Jack. it went off with crack.
Pity the wounded boy.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-12-06

AWHALE was seen in Chesapeake Bay the
other day. Now look out for reports of de-
vastated oyster beds.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-12-06
Pistols, Not Plums. Now.

THE window glass trust talk must give the
public pane.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-12-06
A Time for Tears.

It's easier to tell lie than to detect the liar
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-12-06

A BACK stoop on house is all right but
stopped back on a man is all wrong
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-12-06

AFTER we get one-cent postage some people
will want Uncle Sam to lick the stamp.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-12-06

NONSENSE is the straw that tickles humanity
the world over.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-12-06
SNAP SHOTS IN SEASON.
WOMEN spend great deal of time in reflec-
tion. 1t comes from looking glass, however.

WOMEN spend great deal of time in refiec-
tion. 1t comes from looking glass, however.
SYMPATHETIC, aren't we? How a calamity
startles us, to be sure. One life lost In a cruel
sudden way, and big city full shudders Sud-
den sorrow shocks. Something presses the but
ton which sends thrill to the hearts of all
alike. And how swift it fiies-swift as thought,
swift as sight, swift as light. Only one, two,
three, perhaps, out of tens of thousands are
hurried horribly through the shadow, but these
are enough to kindle the spark of sympathy
and quicken the heart beats of the living. Lips
tremble telling the tale, eyes moisten during
the recital. You never heard of the
victim, never saw the spot stained by
his suffering, were in total ignorance of the
catastrophe at the time of its occurrence but,
all the same. you sympathize, don't you? So,
on through the length and breadth of the great
throbbing town. The smoke shuts out the life
and the flame curls over the grave. You feel
then that life Is but a slender thread, which
can be snapped by fire and flood, by
wind and wave. in between breaths. Then you
ask of the living-the weepers left by the
sleepers. You want to offer them your SYM
patty, of course. You don't know them, you
could not pick them out in the street, but you
know they belong to the great human family,
and your heart declines to stand on formality.
Social forms vanish under sorrows shock. A
disaster binds city closer. A calamity cements
nation. A horror links the whole world.
Hearts for sympathy. hands for succor. Prayer
for the dead, provision for the living.
CLOSE readers of the newspapers must be of
the opinion that the rascals are not all in Jail.
AFTER we get one-cent postage some people
will want Uncle Sam to lick the stamp.
AWHALE was seen in Chesapeake Bay the
other day. Now look out for reports of de-
vastated oyster beds.
Saved by Word.
"Why, what's the matter, Charley, dearf
Pray tell me, darling, pleaser'
"What is that3 Darling did hearf
You've cured my heart diseaser'
THE Sioux merely sue for a piece of meat,
I~.,A A. a.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-12-06

PEOPLE crossed in love are apt to be very
Cross afterward.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-12-06

CLOSE readers of the newspapers must be Of
the opinion that the rascals are not all in Jail.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-12-06
OLE 9i8patfb.

ESTABLISHED FEBRUARY s. 1886
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-12-06
TERMS OF THE DISPATCH.

,osrAGE FREE IN THE UNITED STATES.
Los Angeles herald., 1890-10-25
Selling Tobacco In DanyiIIa.

1t is an interesting sight to see the
hundreds of covered tobacco wagons
come to market. Large ware houses are
ready to offer every inducement to farm
ers to sell their load. Driveways lead
to the great floors where the load is as
sorted in piles according to grade, hay
ing been weighed first while on the
truck. Each pile is tagged with the
name of the owner and the weight,
with a place for the buyers name and
price. Many farmers remain over night.
for they arrive at all hours of the day
and night. Free stables and other ordi-
nary comforts are provided.
There are ten ware houses in Danville.
N. G. They are divided into two series
of five each, and public sales are con-
Quoted in two at the same time. Under
the direction Of the Tobacco Exchange
the order of sales is arranged. Placards
are posted at different points, First sale
at Meals, Second sale at Acree's," and
so on, each ware house taking its assigned
turn until all five have sold out-frst to-
day, the last tomorrow. Each ware
house has its own auctioneer, clerks,
and most of the firms buying having
two sets of buyers to attend on the two
circuits.-Cor. Washington Post.
Los Angeles herald., 1890-10-25
Compressed Air Torpedo.

Still another torpedo, this one the in
vention of an Austrian count, Buona-
corsi by name, has made its appearance
in the European naval and military
world. According to official and private
reports of the trials of this instrument
they were eminently successful, giving
results superior even to those obtained
from the Whitehead. The motive power
is compressed air, acting directly from
reservoir upon the propeller without any
assistance or Intervention from machin-
cry. The propulsion is effected by twin
screws working inversely and giving a
velocity greater and more continuous, it
is contended, than any obtained in other
torpedoes. One remarkable feature of
this invention is the faculty of auto
matte guidance, which enables it to
avoid protective nets and shields, and to
dive any distance before rising to give
it's blow.-Exchange.
Los Angeles herald., 1890-10-25
JUST AS OF OLD.

In the crowded hall met we, and she placed her
hand In mine
With q charming ease and grace with a smile
ahI half divine;
Seemed we both serene and calm though we had
not met in years;
Time had dulled, not killed my pain-time more
kind, had dried her tears
When the whirling waltz was Ger fingered beside
her still;
Random commonplaces passed. thus our share of
talk to fill
Till madd'ning impulse rent every bond and
spalSe at last
Words that were sparks that burst from
dying, smold' ring past
Does our meeting not recall something of a
pastf" said;
mo sweet odor, no faint breath. fragrant of the
days long deadf'
Obi the smile that wreathed her fac-simile
divine that graced the dancei
Obi that look-it cleaned again-soul destroying,
mystic glance
Eyes, caught it when we met-through the air
on wings it roves;
Haunts you still that odor rare-as of old, you're
eating cloves"
Thus she spoke--at last I knew what lay hid in
thought SO long
Thus the promised romance fed, leaving but
jester's song.
James King Duffy
Los Angeles herald., 1890-10-25
If Mems Muscles Were Like june Bug,

If Mems Muscles Were Like June Bugs.
A gentleman residing on the west side
noticed very large June bug flying
around his piazza and proceeded to cap
ture it. He placed the captive under a
heavy glass tumbler which rested on a
newspaper. expecting to examine the in
sect little later in the evening when he
had leisure.
On returning to the table where he had
placed the bug, some half hour later, he
found that it had moved the tumbler
nearly foot by placing it's head against
the side of the glass and pushing it along.
In order to be certain that the glass had
been moved by the captive. he carefully
marked its position on the newspaper
with pencil, and at the expiration of
another quarter of an hour found it had
been moved nearly five inches. AS the
tumbler weighed at least fifty times as
much as the bug, the ease with which it
was moved around on the paper was
source of considerable astonishment
The June bug was less than an inch in
length, and was restored to liberty in
view of the exhibition it had given of its
strength.
The story is vouched for by several
witnesses, who were called in to see the
insect as it was pushing the glass along.
Rochester Union.
Los Angeles herald., 1890-10-25
Valuable Sand Lots.

Accident in making what afterward
turn out to be good investments is always
a favorite theme for discussion An in
stance was cited where young man
went to Tacoma on a flying visit in the
early days of the place, when the prin-
cipal part of the town was its name.
He was there only a few hours, but in
that time was induced to buy several
lots for almost nothing. Those lots
made fortune for him SO suddenly that
he could hardly realize that it could be
possible.
Mark Sheldon, the wealthy real estate
owner Of San Francisco, made his fort.
une out of a bad debt. He had grown
rich and poor in several ventures, and
when hard pressed once tried to collect
all the money that was due him. One
debtor was unable to give him cent,
but compromised his debt by handing
over to Mr.. Sheldon some sand lots in
what is now Market street, San Fran
CISCO
Sand lots were not very valuable in
those days, and Mr.. Sheldon found no
opportunity to dispose of his until he
saw that he might make pretty sum of
them. So he held on to them, and there
is no more valuable real estate in the
Golden Gate city today than Mark Shell
don's Market street propertv.-New
York Tribune.
Los Angeles herald., 1890-10-25
Mummies and Mohammedans.

One night / visited the Metropolitan
Museum of Art for the purpose of exam
lining some of the antiques exhibited
there, and took look at the mum1nied
cats, in which my little son, who was
with me, is especially interested. Very
solemn and CHASTITY are the swathed and
silent tabbies, who perhaps gamboled
around the feet of Moses and of Pha.
raoh's daughter, and it struck me in
looking at them that the Egyptians of
5000 years ago were little ahead of the
New York of today in their devotion to
birds and quadrupeds.
Something of this veneration for the
brute creation has been transmitted to
the Mohammedan of the east, who per-
mits neither cats nor dogs to be slain,
but provides meals and quarters for
them. A learned pundit of that persua-
sion once expressed to the late S. S. Cox,
when minister to Turkey, his surprise
that a Society for the Prevention of Cru
city to Animals should be needed in a
Christian country. Our brilliant "Sun-
set" was not usually at loss for words
either to conceal or express an idea, but
on this occasion he confessed that he
was routed by the unspeakable Turk,
and had to take refuge in the assertion
that this was the work of the Blavatsky
sect of Buddhists. 1t is just possible
that the gentle Turk believed him, but
Mr.. Cox was always of the opinion that
he did not.-New York Letter.
Los Angeles herald., 1890-10-25
Some Presidents rrouser..

Some men are born for trousers. 9TH
ers achieve trousers and others have
trousers thrust upon them. Who that
ever saw President Arthur can forget
the beautiful folds of his trousersp
Neither large nor small, with no bag
ging at the knee, but falling gracefully
upon his shoe they We're indeed beautiful
to behold. Such trousers were not sim
ply due to the tailor's art. They showed
his natural affinity for trousers. and
while the experiment might have been
attended with danger, there is, neverthe-
less, strong probability that Mr.. Ar
thur would have made pair of Bowery
"hand-me-downs" look quite respectable.
Of all the presidents of modern times he
was the best clothed as to his neither
garments.
His great predecessor, Gen. Garfield.
achieved trousers His tailor was good,
the cloth was in good taste, but the
wearer gave little attention to the mat
ter, and even appeared in public once in
trousers frayed at the heel. Hayes
trousers were barely respectable, while
Gen. Grant was utterly Indifferent to
his. Trousers were thrust upon him
He really had no taste for them.
President Harrison's trousers are re-
spectacle and good always, but they are
full of wrinkles and of so conservative
color as to be nonentities in the trouser
world, and President Cleveland's legs
were incased in broadcloth of stiffness
and newness of appearance that showed
a woeful subordination of the wearer to
the tender mercies of the tailor. This
is a fatal mistake. A mans trousers
should show the combined thought of
the wearer and the tailor Neither can
accomplish them successfully alone
Cor. New York Times.
Los Angeles herald., 1890-10-25
Depreciation in the Price of ONYX.

Among the art treasures which used
to adorn the drawing room in his marble
palace, now occupied by the Manhattan
club, A 7. Stewart cherished block of
Mexican onyx twelve inches square and
about seven-eighths of an inch thick. He
gave $700 for it, and it was considered
an unusually big, rare piece of what was
then precious stone. So rapidly have
the onyx deposits of Mexico been de-
veloped since the day of the merchant
prince, however, that piece of onyx the
same size as the one the great trader
valued SO highly can now be purchased
in New York for about $5 or for a good
deal less than one-hundredth part of tha
price lie paid. Blocks of onyx of eighs
feet are now shipped here, cut up to
commercial size in Brooklyn and sent 10
the New England factories to be polished.
For interior decoration onyx black Afri-
can marble, SO long used almost exclu-
sively, has been almost superseded by
the mottled stone now found in such
abundance on our own continent.-New
York Letter.
Los Angeles herald., 1890-10-25
Whitelaw Reid.

Whitelaw Reid is sparely elongated Of
frame, and suffers his dusky lovelocks to
futter in negligent profusion behind his
ears. He is urbane of manner, though
he married money. He is also three
and-fifty, and made his first success in
journalism as a war correspondent, un-
der the signature of agate" After the
war he wrote an elaborate History of
Ohio in the War" which attracted the
attention of Chief Justice Chase, and he
invited Mr.. Reid to accompany him on
his southern trip in 1866. an account of
which he wrote.
The chief justice introduced him to
Horace Greeley. who made him his Sec
retary and managing editor of The Trib-
une, and since Greeley's death in 1879 he
has been editor-in-chief He was at one
time superintendent of schools at Charles
ton. s. Crank Leslie's.
Los Angeles herald., 1890-10-25
Does the Right Shoe Wear Out First?

A majority of people who buy shoes
in this house leave their old ones. pre-
sumo this is true of other shoe houses.
have noticed that the sole Of the right
shoe-I mean the old shoe-is worn
down very thin on that point where the
ball of the foot rests. have seen so
many such that | got to thinking about
it, and have come to this conclusions:
Nearly everybody in city like Chicago
rides on the street cars. Nearly every
body gets off his or her car on the right
hand side of the car. and in aighting
the right foot is the first to strike the
stone paving, or whatever the paving
may be, and it strikes on the ball of the
foot. This in time wears down the sole
of the right shoe at that poirt.-Inter-
view in Chicago Tribune.
Los Angeles herald., 1890-10-25
Where Gen. Grant Died.

While at Mount McGregor l visited
the Grant cottage 1t is in the same
condition now as it was when Grant
died. The same furniture stands in the
same places, and the tallow candle half
burned down to the socket stands on the
table, besides the two great armchairs
In which he breathed away his last
hours. Pieces of his last writing, con-
sisting of slips from his pad, are shown,
and there is tall, fine looking soldier in
uniform who sleeps in the cottage and
takes care of the relics. There are, on
the average, about $4,000 visitors a year
now, and many pathetic incidents occur.
Nearly every one that comes wants to
take away some memento of the place,
and many pick up the gravel of the walk
around the house, supposing that they
are carrying off stones trodden by the
foot of Grant.
The truth is that this gravel has to be
renewed every month on account of
these relic hunters, and the stones they
carry away have never seen Grant. Mr..
Arkell, who owns the mountain, tells
me he was offered $35, 900 for the cot
tage, and that the men who offered this
were western men. who said they wanted
to cut up the cottage and sell it for relics.
The probability is that they would have
taken it to pieces, have carried it off to
Chicago and shown it there at the expo
sition, in the same way that Libby prison
is to be shown.-Cor. Cincinnati Times
Star
Los Angeles herald., 1890-10-25
Nuisances in Great CITIES.

Not the least among the various of.
lenses that meet the eye, and seldom
with any palliating incidents, are the
signs of all kinds that disfigure most of
the buildings in the business districts.
A plain signboard, giving the name of
the company or individual proprietor
and the nature of the business, is unob-
jectionable. however large, if set up
against the wall, over the entrance or at
the Threshold. The largest concerns in
the city have, however, abandoned even
these, and are content to use a small
metal plate for their names.
But the popular idea in signs seems 10
run to as great display as possible, and
In its indulgence taste and safety are
sacrificed. What can be more hideous
than those great aerial wire structures
that project from the tops of buildings
or are hung across the streets? They are
dangerous, too, as experience has shown.
Then there are those dazzling monstrosi-
ties which, in colored glass, call the at
tention of the passerby to the game of
billiards and other pastimes. Some of
the porticos which project over the
whole sidewalk are utilized for similar
purposes.
Exaggerated hats, bonnets. clocks,
mortars, saws and other symbols of the
merchandise for sale within the stores
faunt before the gaze at every turn.
Most of these are illegal, as the law al
lows but three feet nearest the building
for the display of signs and merchandise,
and this Is availed in many trades for
the profit it will bring, not only to them
selves, but in some cases by compensa-
ton from fruit venders OF other small
trades not connected with the regular
occupations.
Los Angeles herald., 1890-10-25
How Severe Colds are Broken Up in
Montana.

From the Virginia City (Mont.) Matlisonian.
When we find a medicine we know to
possess genuine merit, we consider it
duty, and we take pleasure in telling
the public what it is. Such medicine
we found Chamberlain s Cough Remedy
last winter, when la grippe was prevail
ing. We are satisfied that we warded
off several attacks that were threaten
ing by the use of this syrup, and we
have since relieved, in a few hours,
severe colds, and in the course OF two or
three days, entirely broken them up by
its use, as we have several of our friends
to whom we have recommended it. 1t
isall that it is represented to be by the
manufacturers. If you have a cough
and want to stop it, Chamberlain's
Cough Remedy will do the work. For
sale by G. F. Heinzeman, 222 N. Main
street; John A. Off, Fourth and Spring.
and all leading druggists.