The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1890-08-01
pHlLADELPHlNs LEARNED NEwssoY.
Hia sarprlse at swlp@ey'a Appearance
Hrlnws Out = Legend About solomon.

AE4HEa VuN = AtrL NtAA FAa01N S2AeAaots
Holy catl Git onto swipsey. will
yerp Where did yer git dem togsp
Where did yer GIT
AT this point IN his song the learned
newshoy was interrupted by Swipsey.
Come of de roof. will yerP | amt
no auy, amt Ef er Teller gifts er
moo layout o. closes some biokeys wot
don't wear no'tin but a lot er holes
sewed togedder thinks dat he mus be er
museum freak"
The Fat Boy-"On de level now,
Swipsev. where was de fireen
..Freckles-"Di yer git dem of er
tFeee Tell us will yerp An III go an
pluck er suit.
The Learned One-"S Solomon In all
his glory wasn't toggcd out like dis
s.Youse ducks thinks yerself funny,
don't youses Youse ducks Is ez funny
ez er Chinese fan'ral, youse is. don't
care erbout no Solomon or any odder
blokes seees (Swipsey WAS evidently in
dignant.)
us sorry dsl yer don care fer Sole
mon. said this learned one. but dea,
solomon. won't min dat. Dat Is /
dom t'ink he will"
Who's solomon anyhow" asked
Swipsey, sullenly.
Solomon, my tick an benighted
frien. aint not; he was. He hez been
dead long ernough ter be cold. Solo
mon was er King wot was so wise dat
he he'd over er hundred wives an hand
led dem all without ever Citing pinehed
an yanked before de jedge fer domes-
tic infelie'ty."
Come ergen." (This from Freck-
les
Freckles got look OF whitening con-
tempt and the learned one continued:
Ter show yer how much DAT blokey,
solomon. knowed. he he'd two women
before him onct wot bot sed dat er kid
dey he'd wild dem belonged ter dem.
solomon didn't know which was de
mudder o de kid, so wot's he do but
hof de kid up and t'reaten ter cut il
inter two pieces and glib each o de
women err half Dat settled de biz. De
real mudder squealed and tor solomon
not ter cut de baby, but glib il ter de
odder woman sooner dan kill il. Dat
was de way solomon foun' out wot was
de real nndder. See?N
Der wasn't no flies on dat was
der2s put in the fat boy. emphatieally.
Not none. assented Freckles.
1T was him wot builded de great
temple, an dere he showed dat he was
er loo loo. In de Koran an de Chroni-
Gle o Tabari dere's er story wot SEE dat
solomon got de genii--n
Freckles -''Wot's de genii?n
The Learned One-"Deyss foxes wot
kin do anst ing ef yer kin 6n' dem an
git dem ter do 1t. Yer don see sem or
feel EN-. but they git dere all de same;
dat is dey useter. but l aint heard er
any bein' in Philadelphy."
Not in de Dime29 asked the fat boy.
..De Dime don hev everything, yer
Jaw" replied the learned one. AZ |
was er sayin', Solomon got lie genii ter
build de temple, an while dey was er
buildin' it he foun' dat he was er goin'
ter eroak. He knowed dat ef de genii
got onto dis dey would quit work ez
soon ez he got pale solomon was er
cagey bloke, he was. Dere wasn't no
bugs on him. He was dead onto the
genii. an dey couldn't play him fer no
chump.n
Swipsey-"Wot was de matter wild
de genii goin' on er strikea Didn't dey
have no unionPH
'sSwipsey.n said the learned one inn
pressively, since yer got dem togs
yer'er putin on more lugs dan a ole
woman wild er moo set O brass teeth. y
Yes, | ans (Swipsey apparently
did not agree with the other.
so dat the genii'd keep ON the job
wen he was er stiff. solomon cut a
stick in his garden, an strisin' er posish
like this"
Here the learned one assumed an at
titude something similar TO the stage
lover struck with remorse.
Swipsey must er had pain ei
he looked like dat.
wen he got hissef fixed right. '
resumed the learned Que, without motto
ing Swipsey's remark. Solomon jes
bowed his head an give up de ghost
De body KEEP stan in in de same posisl
for er whole year, an in dat time d.
temple was done. De fellers wot seeC
him stan'in' dere fought dat he wa
meditatin' an wouldn' say not'in t
him. Dere was a little red mouse wo
all de time was er chewin' erway on d.
stick wot Solomon's stiff was er leanin
on, an at de end o. de year de sticl
was chewed so much dat it broke an d
stiff tumbled to the floor. Dat was hov
dey knowed dat Solomon had been e
corpse all the time.
.'Wot was the matter wild the Coro
nerP Where did he come inen aske'
Freckles.
He wasn't in dis"
Swipsey You're q good one
You're dandy. you is.
The Learned One - Perhaps We
don't take dat story inr'
Nav, dom
"Well. yer dom have ter; see?"
"Dat's what l fought. "-P Philadelphi
Lnqatirer.
Lucca's Tender neart-