The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1890-03-02

THE MINsTRELs.
at Is time to rise" as the baking powder
said % the biscuit -Daasriile Breese.
No one wants to put out . woman who
bIaxes with diamonds Bosson Gasefse.
Warfare has its romance; even the din OF
battle has sort of an engagement ring
yesseile,s' Weekly.
II REQUIRES no tariff prophet to predict
that it will be exceedingly difiicnlt to do
away with the tacks on carpeis.-BaitimoSs
Americdn.
We shall place jar of beans In our win
dow, and offer 100 years subscription TO
the person making the nearest guess as 70
the number.-Arisono kicker.
Emma-I notice you don't speak to Miss
DeCoyne any more. Lucy-Noi haven't
any use for girl who wears blue gown
with brown dog !-D,y Goods Ch,vnscie.
1.-THE idea OF q man of your age begging.
Why don't you go to work." go 10
work? Phshaw, sir! The idea OF man
changing his profession at my time Of life. J"
Msnseys Weekly.
do you think marriage Is failure,
Mrs. Choker7" asked Mrs. Sinerai OF the
minister's wife. mo, indeed" was the
reply, "Mr. Choker gives me his fees Tor
pin money. "-Haypers Bazay.
Mrs Newrich (back from honeymooning
in Switzerland)-Do you remember that
lovely gorge up in the mountains, Arthur
Mr.. Newrich--I do: it was the squarest
meal ever ate Yesosrine's Nesrs.
Turner That Sampson is mean man
Drawiy--Yas. by Jove. He said the
othaw night that l weminded him OF baw-
NUNS whai-Is-It Bnt will say OF him,
he's as honest as the day Is longtime
Mrs. Bonbine Gust NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.,
my dear. do you love me as much as you
did when We were first married? Mr.. Bon
bine-Why, certainly. my darling "Wel,
then, hustle out and start fire In the
kitchen. Time.
Mrs. Figg- Isn't there any way to get rid
of that young Jinx who keeps calling on
Clara without positively insulting himf
Mr.. Figg-Why, certainly. Just give him
the BABY TO hold the next time he comes
Teryu Hdnte Express.
The following epitaph, 1t is said, is over the
grave of Meride,h, formerly organist OF 81.
Mary's college. Oxford. Eng:
Here lies one blown out of breath,
who lived merry life and died Merideth.
Mrs. Smitem- Bobby, you bad boy, have
you been fighting with Tommy slimson
AGAIN. Dear, dearl / shall have to get
Won q new suit. Bobby--That's nothing,
ma. You ought to see Tommy Slimson.
His ma may have to get her new boy.
Mr.. Waldo (of Bostont-Do you prefer
Balzac to Poe7 Miss Breezy twho wit
messed the Yale Princeton game)-Well.
never saw Balzac play. but just tell you
he would have to hustle pretty lively to
beat Poe at tackling or interfering.-Paild-
deiphia Society.
She-You are very kind to invite me to
go sleighing. but--did your horse ever run
away? He-Often. You see. am care
less about horses, and often let the reins
fall in the bottom of the sleigh and drive
with my feet She-Im go-Ne1 York
Heekiy.
willie-Mamma. will God hate US IL we
don't do just exactly as he says in the
Bible? Mamma-Oh, trust not, darling.
Why do you ask7 Willie-Because Billy
wilkins punched me in the stomach. and
didn't have any other stomach to turn TO
him.-Bayfingsoa Free Press.
Irene Told time rival)--Maud, dear. that's
a beautiful ring on your finger. May ask
how much il cost? Maud tmaliciouslyf-
didn't ask Harry how much itcost. Irene,
owe. Irene tsweetlyl-I always had
curiosity TO know. When was wearing II
myself. Won know, couldn't very well ask
m.-CAioago Tribune.
Customer-The papers say there Is
sharp chap in the East that's making
counterfeit coifee-bean you can't tell from
the genuine. Groceries. lie makes il
OF -four, water and mucilage, and dries the
grains In moulds. The miserable scoun-
drei!-- 81 suppose the -four and water,
and mucilage. with something to color
them with, are about the only things he
uses in making it2" 81 presume so"
fAnxiously)-"Gota any Chicago Tribune.
~ want to employ man TO saw wood, :"
said an old farmer. at an employ ment
agency. can right" responded an agent
1--WE have an abie-bodied young man who
IL looking for Just such a situation, and"
"But, don't want young man." in err
rupted farmer IL want a man about
o. years old. ! have read I'm the papers
about these old fellows saving a cord of
wood before breakfast. and IL usually takes
q Young man all day TO perform the Job
Noryissosrra Herald.
New Editor to Old Schooimate-Tt hurts
me. old fellow. TO wound your feelings. but
really we are 30 overstocked with poetry
that IL Is useless TO read yours. We can
only accept what shows unmistakabie gen
Jus. Old Schoomate-- Well. just read that
poem ard tell me what you think Of il. IL
may prove better than you imagine. New
Editor thaving read the poeml-It Is as
feared. the poem shows no promise what
ever. Pardon me, but il is SIMPLY absurd.
Old Schooimate with q broad grinl-
That's what l thought It's a copy of
some verses you wrote in my autograph
album While we were as school together
Agasey's Heekiy.