Wichita eagle., 1890-03-06
ADONIRAM'S HAIR.

kinder snowy and kinder spirited lookin but
Adonirau he detested it. He was always
sayin suthin' silly, like he'd give 900 fur TO
hev il changed 10 black; and II any one hoi-
Tered ''Fire!1 while he wus round he'd take
it into his head 'twls personal, and L had TO
hold him by his eoattaiiS TO keep LIN from
fvir' at 'en Once lie did. You see, he'd put
q cigar into has coat pocket without bonn
careful about putin it out, and lie was
smokin' like chinblv, 50 they told me- the
blue rings risin' right over his head, and
somebody says behind Us:
.:Hullo. young fellow! you'll be III q blaze,
next you know and that time the fiery mater
that belongs to red haired folks got the best Of
Adoniram, and he wheeled around like fash.
s.None Of YOUR insultin' allusions" says ho,
and hit out 1T him.
The stranger WIS @ real big gentleman, and
his fists WIS Ike hams, and he doubled 'em
tight. and the next l knew Adoniram was
sottin' on the pawn stones lookin' surprised,
and a perlice came and investigated matters.
When Adoniram found out that be really
was afire-by this time his linen coat was
blazir'-he apologized free and open hearted
TO the strange gentleman, and he took it quite
amiable and wanted Adonirain to so and
drink suthin' or other. Adoniram had to beg
10 be excused, being Prohibitioner. But
the gentleman wouldn't excuse hiTn-he tool,
il personal he shuIld refuse-and it went to
Adonirams head and | had to pay man TO
take him home ~ a wheelbarrer. his legs
baurin' over one SIDE and his bead the other.
That vas in the days CT our honeymoon, and
he couldn't be blamed for IL. nayin' discovered
the strange gentleman was a prize fighter by
periession, and bein' anxious, for my sake, to
live.
Well, Adonram did not pick 50 many quar-
rels after that, but he grew kinder mollon-
choly about il. Housed 70 say that he couldn't
ex!lect me fur 20 be true TO anybody with
scarlet hair, and if l talked to black haired
folks he got Jealous. 1t wus unreasonable Of
him. consi8erin' had told him 'twus his hair
fust took a notion To- But men air onrea-
sonabla, seems to me, rs general thing. L
suppose they air made 50.
eff l was to dye my hair" says Adoniram
to me one DAY, don't you think I'd look
more kind of pleasantl'
''Since YOU ask ne, Adoniram," says I, 81
must say, candid and serious, that Ily opin-
ion is you'd look like an idiot, and idiot
caIn't be pleasant to no well constituted
mind Moreover, hev heerd that the nat
raj complexion agrees with the nat'ral hair,
which is why old gentlemen and old ladies
with mahogany colored heads looks more old
erly and decrepid than them that lets it git
gray. Besides says /, ''hair dyes IS poisons,
and made of lead and sulpher and such
things, and why should a man with a fine
head of gold red hair want to get rid Of itf'
amanda Anu, :" says be, his voice a trem-
blin, II feel red hair to be a affection, and eff
there WIS bottle Of hair dye in the house at
present [ should use it.
He said this as we wus walkin' along the
high street shoppin' fur our Sunday victuals,
and Jest then man a-standin' on tho corner
stuck iylar into his hand and another
into mine. Its nat'ral to read a sirkylar
when 1t is given 10 you, and as We walked
along arm ia arm, the big markit basket on
his elber, the little ore on mine, we perused
them. This IS wha5 mine said:
IN Magnolia, the celebrated electrician,
hiss at last discovered hair dye free from
all the ooEoxious qualities all others possess.
Having prepared fluid for electric pur-
poses, he by accident dropped some OF it
upon his snowy locks, bleached by study and
Hdevotion TO science rather than by time.
Looking little while afterward into the
glass. he became aware that where the fluid
had fallen his tresseS had recovered the hue
of early youth Instantly LIE applied it to
wife, who burst into tears of joy, and tearing
off her cap, cried: 4, also, 50 desire to be
young again Subsequently this elderly
couple were mistaken for their granddaughter
and her husband by many relatives Friends
rushed to the studio OF Il Magnolia, stran-
gers knelt to him impIoring the secret, and at
last he has been persuaded to give it TO the
world at the merely nominal price of 81 a
bottle Your druggist keeps it. Take no
other All else Is u deiusion and q snare
II want to know ii You ever didI" says
Adoniram. You know there can't be no
pison into electricity. reckon III get some
bottles"
Fur all know it might 80 or and act
like lightning some day" says |. - might
come to meet you with a loyin> kiss aud get
struck dead, says /, cor all frizzlod up!'
always WIS person that looked into
things This here vus in the remote past of
the antiquity OF these here United States
when they hadn't no electric lights TO burn
folks UP with vet, but only tallyGrams and
cableSra1Ts which they had recently cele-
brated bat my thoughts progressed into
fururity and / kinder felt impressed.
Well, Adonlram didn't say no more, but
noticed that he folded the srkvlar quite
keerful and put it into his pocket, and fur a
spell ! expected him 10 come down TO break
fast some day dyed black; but he didn't. and
forgot the siriylars and began to believe
That Adourdm wus gettn' contented with
his hair, and Shovin' some common sense at
last.
IL WIS Jest about year from our weddin'
day that the minister's donation party came
OF We had heard a good deal OF lauSLln'
and Sneerin Us 10 how donation parties WIS
managed. and we meant ourn should be s.
very different kind Of thing. Our pastor
shonid feel to rejoice he had one give 70 him.
So he did. We Eot te2 on the lawn, ana We
brought all the good things, and quarts and
pounds 10 spare, and the gifts WIS lovely, and
the hull family pleased and complimenred
Adoniram. he had TO 20 u town 10 get u
handsome lamp he meant 10 give the pastor,
and couldn't be in 10 tea, hut said he'd come
after and be there for the evening. i didn't
seem right without him, and when tea was
over and he hadn't come felt low spirited.
There WIS a crevd in the house and on the
lawn, and sometimes | imagined he hadn't
found me and wus there When / went into
the pariOr and saw splendid new lamp
burning on the table, with his name on
csrd tied TO it, began 10 think he rus hiding
TO tease Ene. He did pisy jokes now and then.
h,,r WITS mad ~ hin, 5ov s-tr- = IN thnt