, 1890-01-19

rather over than under populated; the
scale of living has been expanded out of
all reason; young girls now dress with
more solid magnifcence thar their
grandmothers used; they know nothing
of keeping a house, of serving them
selves or of making the most of a small
income, and the sun of it all is that the
young men cannot afford to marry.
Cornelia's sons nowadays are not treas
ures, but reed an immense amount of
reasure expended upon them, and never
seem able to stand alone SO long as
there is a father to lean upon. The out
come of all this is that, while the nat
ural attraction between the sexes con-
tinues, and young men are as eager to
make love to young women as they used
to be, it is not, and, poor fellows, cannot
be, with the same singlemindedness.
They still feel that they should like to
make this or that girl their wife, but
they know very well that they cannot;
and that, moreover, they must be very
careful no to commit themselves to any
such course, lest they should be held to
it by stern papas and belligerent broth
ers. What is the consequence? Why,
that they go just as far as is safe in love
making and there stop, oftentimes leav-
ing the poor girl utterly bewildered and
uncertain of their meaning.
Of IRIS this course is not only dis
tressing to the woman but demoralizing
to the man; the honest instincts of his
heart try to assert themselves, but are
crushed down not so much by wisdom
as by cunning; the heart grows false and
the eyes become liars, for they cay, Il
love you" when the lips have no inten-
ton of adding, "Wil you he my wife,"
The hand presses significantly that other
hand, but does not ask it in marriages;
the tongue frames moving speeches
significant of loneliness, of the need of
sympathy, of the charm of meeting one
who can understand, and a thousand
other pretty phrases, but it never speaks
the few plain English words that offer
all a man has and is to the woman of
his choice.
Love, like everything else in our day,
has become conventionalized, and as in
embroidery we accept a certain figure
for a rose and another for a bird, al
though neither of them resembles a rose
or bird, so poor Love no longer is an in
nocent boy leading his brother Hymen
by the hand, but has become a gay and
debonair Mephistopheles, using words
not to declare the truth but to cunningly
disguise it, to say a thing and not mean
it, and to mean a thing and be very care
full not to say it. l do not suppose men,
or at least every man, is conscious of
pursuing this course, but the social con-
ditions we have already noted uncon-
sciously impress themselves upon his
mind, and the same sort of instinct grows
up in him that stimulates the hare to
double and wind and hide its tracks by
all sorts of simple subtleties. He is
afraid of being caught if he pursues an
open, straightforward course, and so is
the man; poor fellows, both!
But how is a girl to know, for there are
still men who can afford, or will afford.
to marry, and whose attentions are as
sincere II full of purpose as all mems
used to be in the old time? How shall
the girl know, or how shall her mother
know for her, whether the man who
singles her out at every entertainment.
who gives her flowers and begs her to
give him one in return, who gazes at her
as none but lovers gaze, who saws all
sorts of pretty things n implies more
than he says, who shows his admiration
in a thousand ways but his intentions in
one is a genuine aspirant or a honey
bee DESTROYS of storing up sweets for the
dark, cold days of life's winter, or mere
ly a butterfly, lowering and slipping and
waving gorgeous idle wings in the sum
mer sunshine, but doomed to perish in
the first adverse wind?
Well, there is no rule, like that of two
and two make four, that can be laid
down, and for one reason, because the
man often does not himself know his in
tentions. Girls have changed as well as
men since the good old honest days, and
a wise man before closing any bargain
likes to be sure of his ground, and before
paying down such a price as himself he
likes to know Just what value received"
means. 1t isn't at all a pleasant idea that
a girl is being viewed as if it were a
question of a horse or a yacht, and these
dear men are after all so anspare
THAI they seldom can carry through such
a proceeding without being discovered;
but nevertheless, when a man is discov-
cred in this ungallant attitude of mind,
it is pretty certain proof that he has Sc
rious intentions. If he is only amusing
himself it is nothing to him whether the
object is domestic, or economical, or
sweet tempered, or conscientious; but if
she is to be his wife all these things mat
ter very much, and he tries more or less
artlessly to discover the truth about
them.
Then | think there is u certain true and
loyal tenderness in the manner of the
bee that the butterfly lacks, and u Ger
tain flavor Of respect and Difference in
his attentions and pretty speeches. The
English marriage service makes the mar
say, with my body l thee worship, |
and a good man has something Of that
feeling toward the girl to whom he means
to confide his honor, his happiness and
his name. Thus tlr marrying man will
not be likely to Lad the girl who may
become his wife into questionable frulics
or risIUe adveutuT s.: he always feels re-
sponsibls for her good ua:nc while the
butterfly is only thinking Of his own
amusement. The marrying maj will
speak of his mother and sisters, and, If
they are living, try to promote an ac-
quaintance; or if the mother is n dear
memory he will very likely seek SYM
patty from the young girl he believes in.
Also her family will be a subject of
interest to the man who is going to make