The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1890-11-06
WIT AND HUMOR.

Presbyterian Review.
A young girl whose name was Melissa
Had a lover who oft tried to kiss her:
She was so very shy.
She would cry out 20, my"
Whenever he'd kiss her or miss her.
We all have strength enough to en-
dure the misfortunes of others.-DenUer
Road
A hole in the pocket will outlast all
the rest of suit of clothes.-Great
Burlington Neeos.
The fashionable resorts are becoming
filled, so to speak, with fall leaves
Philadelphia Times.
ment, but it makes the wise man shut
up.-Etfhird Gazette.
About the first thing that strikes the
man who runs away is the scarcity of
places to run to.-AtchiSon Globe
First Good Lord. let's run;
here comes some one!n Second Burglar
20, come on; it's only a policeman"
-H0osier.
Shells Miss Bond engaged to
Prince Sanssou?n He-'Not exactly.
He has an option for ninety days, l be-
lieve. '-HOOsier.
Jones the coal merchant has sold
out and gone to sea-" Is it possible?
How he will cheat when he weighs the
anchor!'-Puch.
Gar. Where is my undcrsh rt?"
Vaet-"At the blacksmith's, your I'M
perial Highness. A rivet was found
loose this morning"
Tho attractive young woman who
takes charge OF the gypsy tent for the
benefit OF the church represents fair
prophet. Washington Post.
Mrs. Spen,thrift-"AIge rnon.do YOU
know that silver is up?" Her Husband
Il ought to. put ours up while YOU
We're at the seaside. "-Jeaceicr.
The man who expects 10 90 to heaven
on his wife's church membership, or
on the chickens he fed to the preacher
is taking awful chances. Sen
hHci.
Cobwigger-'Wh does a woman
have her pocket where it's SO hard to
get at it?' Merritt-"So that she can
stick her friend for the car fare."-
Epoch.
Sponges are not to 90 on the free
list. 1t is impossible to conceive of
such thing as a sponge who is not on
the free list, however.-Boston Tran
script.
xWhy fret about it, dear? 1t wasn't
so dreadful letting him hold your
hand" 20, no! I'm fretting for fear
he won't hold his tongue ~. Y
Herald.
e-"Society people conceal their
feelings well, don't they?" She-'Yes.
Now, suppose you find they all treat
YOU politely and in friendly way
Munsey's Weekly.
The proverb cleanliness is next to
goodness" must have been originated
by somebody who had considered that
washing-day usually follows Sunday
SomerUille Journal.
Teacher - How many work-days
are there in the week?" Bobby
We'll, | dunno; that depends on Sum
days, holidays, half-holidays. and days
when you're wrastlin' for arbitration ,"
Puck.
Have you followed my instruc-
tions?" inquired the physician. You
will remember that l recommended
hops for you" Yes, sir; drank beer
and ate frogs legs at every meal.
Washington Post.
Druggist (awakened at a. m)-
"What do you wish?" Voice Cat the
door)-'If you'll let me look in your
directory to see how to address this
letter I'll buy the postage stamp Of
you. GOOD NeaOs.
Legalcap-"A client addressed me
familiarly this morningas Old Horse"
"Briefer-'Had he just paid his bill?"
Yes; why?" Perhaps it was his way
of telling you that you were a splendid
charger."-N Y Sun.
American Tourist-"I understand,
Marquis, that you fell in love with
distinguished American lady on account
Of her pretty foot" Marquis-Dat is
it. Dat is it. De pretty way she foot
de bills. IN y Weekly.
Its getting quite dark now" re-
marked Cholly, as they sat on the front
piazza. Yes" she answered, with a
touch of scorn as she surveyed the dis
lance between them. Zone might
imagine you were afraid of the dark"
why, l notice Gibbs, who used to
be so bald, has commenced wearing a
wig" That's not wig; it's his
natural hair" "Bv the wav, did YOU
hear his wife has left him now some
six months or SOP" - Philadeiphid
Times.
He-''What are you crying for, love?"
She-"Over, papa's wedding present.
boo-hoo." He-'Why. what is the mat
ter with it?" She-.'It's nothing but a
receipted bill for the gas we used up
during our courtship." = Burlington
Free Press.
First Bank Director-'.I think we'd
better let Collins go" Second B. D.
why? He's been our cashier for
twenty-five years. First B. D.-"I
know, but he's too Internally honest.
We don't get chance to do any fnan-
ciering." life.
"Hypnotism is great thing. I can
hypnotic any one and what l desire
the subject to do he does" See here,
professor" said the little tailor, IN
give you 10 per cent on all the collec-
tons you can hypnotic out Of my GUS
toners. "-Hdrper'S Bdzar.
Principal of Girls Boarding School
(to her butcher) - From tomorrow
you can send me three pounds of meat
less than the usual quantity" Have
you lost some of your boarders?" No;
but four of the girls have fallen in
love. "-BaSler Nackrtchten.
Merchant-"I wish to insert an adj
vertisement in the Morning Bugle."
Clerk-''Yes, sir" Commence it in
this way: Pay Cash. and put those
words in large letters" Yes, SIR"
And l wish you'd trust me for the
amount for month or so."-Yankec
Blade.
The factories of England. France.
Germany, and Holland produce about
H. 900. 600 pins daily, and contem-
porary asks: Where do they all 90
to?" Young men who are engaged in