The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-12-28

Why Not Ask, How Shall a Man Keep
His wife's Love-"
copyright by American Press Associationl
1t is always rather Notifying to a
woman to read articles telling how to
retain her husbands affections, when
few writers, if any, ever go to the trouble
to correspondingly inform a husband
How to Retain Your Wifes Affections. y
1t seems to be taken for granted that ii
is an easy matter for husbands to keep
their wives in love with them. This is
not as it should be. Every woman should
manage in some way to make her hus.
band feel that her love, and not her mere
faithfulness, is the sine qua non of hap
piness for him, and that it cannot be con.
tinued to him unless his life and his love
for her are such as to deserve the rich
return which she desires to give him.
A woman Of tact and resource who
genuinely loves her husband will take
this attitude unconsciously, both toward
herself and toward him, and the mutual
relations of the two, if he be a true man,
will be permanently adjusted on this ba-
Sis; but there are thousands of wives,
well meaning and affectionate women,
who, since things are as they are, see
their husbands slipping away from them
day by day, and who would give any
thing for the power to bring them back
and hold them to the romantic fealty OF
their counting days.
Such women as these have not de-
served, like the willfully giddy and per-
verse, to lose their treasure; they have
only been dull and stupid. Perhaps while
they have remembered the paramount
instruction 10 keep their husbands well
fed they have been too ''tamely and
truly true" or perhaps, while their
households have been neat and well or
dered, the strain Of life has been too
hard upon their tempers, and their quick
words, regretted as soon as spoken, have
created a breach. How can they regain
what they have lost: And how can they
keep it when gained?
Perhaps the strongest story which
SAKE Holm ever wrote is that in which
she tells "How One Woman Kept Her
Husband" There is some general truth
in that striking tale, but the main cir
cumstances were too exceptional to af-
ford much help TO women at large.
There are, however, many truths regard
ing the keeping OF husbands, which
everybody knows in vague way, but
which few apply to Themselves There
are many men whom nothing could per-
Suade to their duty, to say nothing of
love, either because they have not the
materials within them for honesty or
nobility, or because they are not men of
principle nor of Judgment.
But there are plenty Of well meaning
men, brought up upon traditions, who
do not feel the old glow Of affection for
their wives, and are not gentlemen
enough to simulate it. They find other
places more attractive than home, and
without being either immoral or brutal
shey make their wives miserable by show
ing plainly that the old love has gone out
IN their hearts.
There is one fact which such wives
ought to take to heart 1t is this: In
spite of all the lovely and beloved in
yalids, of whom there are not a few, it
remains true that health and happiness
usually go together. The healthy wife
is oftenest the happy wife.
But" many poor. broken woman
has argued in defense Of herself, what
if you had to be sick: What if hard
work and anxiety and all sorts of wear
ing little burdens had affected you SO
that you could not help being sick?"
This is largely nonsense. No woman,
unless under crushing weight of power
ty, or the desperate illness of a loved one,
has any right 10 work too hard for her
health. 1t is a distinct robbery of her
household when she does this. She knows
chat there is nothing gained by sitting
mp night after night till the small hours
to get the family mending done to suit
her, or to put ten tucks in Cora Bellies
petticoats. 1t is far better TO occasion
ally let a child wear an undarned stock
ing and to let Cora Bellies skirts hang
plain foreverlnore than TO injure ones
health. Ten to one the mother works
thus from the insane desire with which
some women seem imbued to pose as
martyrs. Husbands do not, as a rule,
love whining, complaining, weakly wo-
men. Many a wife recognizes this truth
after the mischief is done. Then she
would give a thousand worlds to cure"
what trifle would have prevented.
Perhaps the quality which tends the
most to secure health. and which endears
one the most TO ones friends, is the now
questionable virtue of cheerfulness.
Addison saws: "Cheerfulness is the best
promoter of health. RepiuingS and Sc
cret murmurs Of heart give impercepti-
bic strokes 10 those delicate fabrics of
which the vital parts are composed and
wear cut the machinery insensibly."
There Is no greater crime" says
Thackeray, Ethan for a woman who is
iii used and unhappy TO show that she is
so. The world is quite relentless about
bidding her keep a cheerful face, and
In spite of the bitter tTang 10 this remark
it must be accepted. If for nothing else
than because it is a promoter Of health;
and because it viii pay, cheerfulneSs
should be cultivated. Sickness in the
housemother disarrsnges all of the
home routine; il "debases the mind" as
one writer remarks, it makes people
selfish and notional, it is not only phys
ical but a moral and mental plague, eat
ing away 81 the beauty Of life. A wom-
an, even ii she cannot brace her soul up
to the high pitch of taking care of her
self because it is right, should regulate
her diet, her exercise and her sleep
Alright, because thus she VIII conduce to
the happiness Of her household and be-