The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-12-07
BRIGHT BITS.

SnE at hotly contested game of football
Why don't they give each side ball and not
have SO much ErchGaqe,
A MAN no sooner gets old enough 20 know
how 10 talk Wen than he also learns the value
Of not talking at all. --4tchtso't Globe.
IN DESCRIBING a newly invented typewriter
one that can be held in the lap-she patentee
negiectS TO say whether or not she Is pretty
ChtCago Post.
DROP me line yelled the drowning man
whats the uses" said the huunorist on the
doeS. There's no postoface where you are
going Life.
THERE are twenty seven murderers confined
in the jail at st. Louis. The florists of that
city must be doing quite lively business
kansas C5ty Star.
He (at 1855 p. nj declare the lamp is
She-Yes. The lamp seems to have some icea
of time-Rdyper's Bazaar.
ScRIBsLER-I have just lots of fun writing my
jokes.
Friend-Then that explains it, wondered
where the fun came n-Detroit Free Press.
$50 THE OLD GENTLEMAN kicked you down the
stoop when you called 10 see his daughter. Did
he break anything
Yes. he broke our engagement" ~ hiladel.
phta Times.
HUsBASD-The marks on my collars are get
ting so faint can't read them
bottle OF that indelble ink -Neg YorE Sun.
Mr. BNeo-fIere's Il bill for gas.
Mrs. Bingo-But the gas has been turned off
all sukmer.
Mr. Bngo-wen this is bill Tor the gas that
was turned of. -Ne'c York Herald.
"WHY did your parents call you Gladstone
smith, asked u woman of little ragged
urchin.
- Cos they thought good name was better
n great riches. ''--Netccdst!e Chronicle.
81 WOULD give anything If l bat had musica!
ear
Why don't you take quinine''
Certainly; that Will make your ear sins. -
Indianapolis Journal.
INDIGNANT BtCYcLIsT- Madam. your dog snaps
at me every time pass. Here he comes now.
Starts OIL
Old Lady Sport, Sport, you foolish dog. come
hore Them amt bones. Thems legs-Netc-
castle Chronicie.
to do9 q
Irishman-They wants England I give tn
Otrish tue power { govern thlmsilves.
American after rehection)-Only heaven can
do that.-PUcs.
BRowS-Ah been abroad, eh' Have a good
passage:
Gray -Spendid: sea as calm as a millpond
Wasn't seasick a second.
Brown-Then you must have had good
time.
Gray-Not bit Of it. Nobody else was sick
didn't enjoy the trip at all.-Boston Tran
script.
FIVE YEARS AGO. began the stranger to
Wentmau. Il sought that woman 10 be my wife
believed her congenial, light hearted and
beautiful. Has our married life been pleasant:
No.
No, Why notg" asked Wentman.
Why not: Because she declined to marry
me, OF course american Grocer.
In ILLINOIS a man has been fined SI5 for
kissing woman against her will. and an Ohio
court has punished man to the tune of g. 900
for similar offense. Now, this IL outrageous
When these men were infants think Of the
women who kissed them against their VIII And
when mau grows up shall he be fined if he at
tsmpts 70 retaliate?- Boston Transcript
u SHOULD like u observe, madam said the
patent boar1er, that while am very fond OF
the neck of the fowl You carving l shall
deny myself this year and beg for a large, white
chunk OF tue breast. With this view have had
my trunk packed. and a draynan is now wait
ing at the door for an answer. ET-iS it breast
or neck: '-4rnericdn Grocer