davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1890-11-20
The Lake Captains Confession,

One of the old lake captains, whe
set sail for the unknown port this sum.
mer, sent word to many of his friend.
few days before he died to come and
see him, and among his callers was one
who said:
Captain, there is one little matter |
wanted to speak to you about before
you 90"
Yes"
Since YOU retired from active life
you have had great deal of time or
your handsp"
Yes"
"And you have told a great many
storiespn
Yes"
Some of which were not absolutely
true. You had to lie more or less to
keep your place in the ranks"
What! Have l ever iedp" asked
ment.
Pm afraid you have. Indeed ! ar
sure you have. and | hope you have
repented of this sin along with others
when did | ever liePn
well, when YOU said you fell over
board in Lake Huron and swan sixty
one miles"
IL might have put mile or two
on the correct distance, because there
was no way to measure it. What other
timeP'
When YOU claimed to have sailed
the schooner Martha across Lake Erie,
ingle-handed and alone, with both
legs broken"
Didn't | do itp"
"Of course not"
"And | lied about itp"
You certainly did. and | now ask
you to ease your conscience by con-
fession.h
The Captain was silent for long
time Then he looked up and said:
Yes. | will confess. | don't know
what ever induced me to lie about it,
but I'm very sorry. | didn't have
both legs broken; it was one arm, one
leg, and my collar-bone - Detr0a
Free Press.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1890-11-20
I diau'tsay anything.
Ms. Bowser. ! shall take the child

I dilu'tsay anything.
Ms. Bowser. shall take the child
with tSe!'
diin't answer.
"Mls. Bowser"
At that moment the cook came down
the hall and asked who was there.
1T, l." answered Mr.. Bowser.
Al what are you doingp"
IN. lothing."
'Tlen you'd better be in bed and let
the poor missus and baby and me get
few winks of sleep! Such a housed
Such carvings on! Such spontaneous
combustuous NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.! |
give you notice, sir. that | quit me
place before the dishes are washed in
the II Jrningi
She went oil to bed. and Mr.. Bowser
made two more circles of the room.
kicked the footstnoI under the bed and
then crtpt into his accustomed place
and was snoring away in the usual
manner in less than fifteen minutes
Detroit Free Press
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1890-11-20
The Borrowing Neighbor.

Mother has often told me of q funny
time she had when she was quite
young housekeeper, afflicted with a
borrowing neighbor. This lady seldom
had anything of her own at hand when
it was wanted, so she depended upon
the oblging disposition of her friends.
One day my mother put on her large
housekeeping apron. and stepped
across the yard to her outdoor kitchen.
The kitchens in Kentucky were never
a part of the house, but always at a
little distance from it, in separate
building.
Aunt Phyllis" said my mother to
the cook, who was browning coffee
grains in a skillet over the fire, Il
thought told you that | was coming
here to make pound-cake and cream
pies this morning. Why is nothing
readyP"
La me, Miss Emmeline!' replied
Aunt Phyllis. Miss 'Tlda jenkins
done carried off every pie pan and
rolling-pin and pastry-board. and bor-
rowed all de eggs and cream TO- ner-
self. Her bakin' isn't mon begun"
This was high-handed proceeding,
but nothing could be done in the case.
It was Mrs. Jenkins habit, and mother
had ,lways been so amiable about it,
that he servants, who were eaSy-go-
ing, never troubled themselves to ask
the mistress, but lent the inconveient
borrower whatever she desired.
Sometimes just as we were going to
church, | was too little At the time to
remember, mother said that small
black boy with very white teeth and a
very woolly head would pop up at her
chamber door, exclaiming:
"Howdy Miss Emmeline. Miss
'Tilda done sent me to borrow yo'
Prayer-book. She goin' to church to-
day herself"
Or. of a summer evening, her maid
would appear with modest request
for Miss Enmeline's lace shawl and
red satin satin fan; Miss 'Tida wanted
to make call, and had nothing to
wear.
Al this, | think, made mother per.
fectly set against borrowing so much
as "A slate-pencil or pin. We were
always to use our own things or go
without. | never had sister, but
cousins often spent months at the
house, and were in aud out of my
room in the freest way, forever bring
ing me their gloves to mend or their
ties to clean, as cousins will.
Never borrow said my mother.
Buy, or give away, or do without,
but be beholden to nobody for loan"
Margaret b. SangSter, IN HEper's
Young People.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1890-11-20
Foreign Innocence.

1t was breezy and glorious day
last summer writes New York cor
respondent Greenwood Cemetery
looked like a beautiful piece of tho
Emerald Isle in its fresh spring raj
ment. The sunny slopes were jeweled
with lovely flowers, aud death was
framed in marvellous forms of life
Birds sang in the trees and sported on
the green sward, and if any one thinks
that it is a lonely thing to be crumbling
into dust he needed but brief visit to
this beautiful city of the dead to learn
his mistake.
Wandering through the devious ways
l came in far off corner, upon the
spectacle of loves young dream. Shell
tered behind massive tomb that was
covered over with the chaste chiseling
of Italian genius. | came upon dusky
pair of wooers from the land of the
spaghetti.
They were very young and very hap
py. Spread out before them was a
banquet. Real Italian bologna, with
the taste of garlic in it, and dark-hued
bread; a small bottle of chanti, some
young onion shoots and wonderful
store of macaroni | noticed among the
viands. His strong young arms, that
erst turned the crank of the barrel or
gan or, perhaps, welded the broom of
the street cleaning brigade, were
around her supple waist, aud as he
whispered soft nothings into her she'll
like ear-not too clean. by the way
they ate macaroni together.
And the way of the eating was this:
He would take up a long string of the
same aud, placing Que end in her
mouth and the other 10 his, they would
eat toward each other until their
warm lips met in resounding kiss. 1t
was pretty sight and | was glad to
see that the store of macaroni was
large.
And so he wooed and won her.
Shocking! Not at all. Did the
sleeping dust below sleep less soundly
because this little onion-scented pas
toral was being enacted above it! |
trow not, and when | saw guardian
of the peace coming that way | con-
sidered it my duty to hasten to him
and draw him away on pretext of
showing me the way to certain place,
lest his unSympathetic eye might see
the sight and he drive them away from
their blissful luncheon.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1890-11-20
A Critical Genius.

Among Rices old acquaintances was
a leader of the orchestra, one John
c.. Quite musical genius was
c.. and great character He was
perfect know-all; no subject either
artistic, musical, or scientific. could be
preached in his presence on which ne
did not at once present himself as
authority. If a fast horse was men,
toned c. had father or an uncle
who owned one that could distance the
animal in question with ease. Should
any one venture to give an account OF
a remarkable storm where the hall
stones were as large as hens eggs, the
old leader was down on him with goose
eggs at once. On certain Sunday
afternoon John Rice and a party OF
his friends were sitting on the back
porch of his house. listening to some oil
the marvellous experiences OF c.,
when the host. getting a little tired oil
these wonders, exclaimed C,
YOU seem to be an authority on most
matters; now | want your solution OF
a curious fact that is staring us IN the
face. Look at that apple tree over the
fence"-pointing to one in the orchard
at the back of the house. You see IL
has no apples on it and all the rest OF
the trees are full of fruit; Cow how 40
YOU account for that?" c. ran his
eve over the orchard with a profound
look. and rising slowly from his seat
mounted the fence. let himself down
upon the other side with as scientific an
air as the performance would admit OIL
and going down upon his knees began
to examine the roots of the barren tree
The company during all this time were
watching the proceeding with becom-
ing gravity. c., having cut on a
piece of the bark from the tree, wipeu
his eyeglasses and examined the speci,
men with great care. AT last he snlieu
with a placid kind of triumph and cS'
claimed. 'Ahl | thought So" Again
climbing the fence. he returned to Inc
group who had been watching him ana
said: Now observe. You see tina.
gray color on the edge OF the BARK
They did. We'll, that is called Jug
nloriem. and whenever that deadly sisu
appears at the root of an apple tree II
never bears fruit.
Il don't think you are quite riSut
about it, said Rice; flor that tree was
full of apples YESTERDAY. but the oWne,
came this morning and gathered them
There was shout of laughter anu
C was dumfounded. 1t was =
dreadful blow, and it had the effect Q.
,urtaiing the scientific discourses OF
C tor some time-Joseph Jeterso'h
IN the Century.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1890-11-20
years old.

years old.
When the training ship Portsmon.,
sailed from Newport on her ernie" . y.
European waters she carried ~, ~
pigeons from the training statios.
These birds were released off rho a
at intervals of about eight miles S;N
returned to Newport safely on
last making the flight of sevo1 oae
miles in one hour and three-ouartar:
The success of the experiment MI
these birds seems to establish tha saa
OF their usefulness for MESSENGER oas
vice at sea as well as on shore.
George and John Wadron. of VOL,
boro. n. H.. are twins. 81 years o.
age. Their great-grandfather was
OF the famous Boston tea party. tba;'
grandfather served in the RevoIpt;on
airy War; their father commando
company in the war of 1912 Will
they themselves were among tho sn''
to enlist in the War of the Rebell;ns
They look so much alike that no ono
who does not know them intim,toIr
can can tell them apart They ARG
Grand Army of the Republic men
and marched in the procession in Bos.
ton.
The old legend at our calece
says Vassar girl. lis that in forms-
times the words 'Vassar Female Col.
lege' was done in stone on the front of
the building. Que night so runs ths
tale, there came a great storm. and
the + b were taken off, LEAVING il
Male. This the elements knew to be
incorrect. so second storm obligingly
took oil the Nj. The 'Vassar Ale Col.
lege' was, however, too suggestive Of
the manher in which the founder had
made his money, so the trustees had
ale Clipped, and to-day it reads sim.
ply Faas;r College.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1890-11-20
Queer Taste.

A young man in Findlay, O., whose
atiianced died about a year ago, has
now set all the gossip there talking by
clipping with the girls mother-a wo-
man almost 30 years old
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1890-11-20
A Valuable Book.

A bookbnder in Vienna was called
upon to bind volume of 100 leaves
worth 1000. 600 gulden. Each leave
was a bond for 1000 gulden. the book
being tho owners gift TO his only
daughter.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1890-11-20

John BOYLE O'Reilly used to say that
he had found the true fraternal spirit
to exist at its best in convicts, soldiers,
and journalists.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1890-11-20

Somebody has invented IAN illums
uated cat warranted to scare away raA
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-03-14
A WRONG VIEW,

The Interstate commission was need
lessly technical when it interpreted the
law to mean that railroads should not
give reduced rates to combinations and
parties. The language of the law is
''that nothing in this act shall prevent
= the issuance of mileage, eX
cursion or Communication passage tick
etS." There would not be much strain
to the purport of these words if they were
understood to mean that excursion or
Communication would cover collection
of passengers travelling as a body.
Many of the railroads have been in the
habit Of making reduction in such
cases. The decision of the commission
was in special reference to the practice
of the Baltimore & Ohio road in giving
a tWo-thirds rate to those who took tick
cts covering ten or more persons. 1t
was mostly used by theatrical compa-
MES. Any people who wished could
avail themselves of this rate. But
complaint that it was violation
of the law was made to the commission
and sustained. They thought the law
did not warrant any reduction for num-
bers. If this construction is to be in
sisted upon, there should be change
in the law. It is of more consequence
IN the West, as railroad rates are higher
than in the East. There are often occa-
siOns when dozen or more persons
would like to come to one Of the Twins
or any other city from some not distant
point to attend some lecture OF attrac-
ton or to trade. Under this ruling they
can obtain no reduction unless the road
makes an excursion rate, open to all III
dIviduals. This is contrary to all th g
laws of trade, The purchaser of large
stocks always has some advantage.
Then it is in the way of amusement
companies. They are forced to reduce
their numbers to the lowest limit, and
the really excellent troupes that take in
many of the smaller cities will be less
able to do so. 1t is absurd TO hold the
railroads to so unbusiness-like an ar
rangement. 1t would be more rational
to compel them to reduce their rates to
poTtipS
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-03-14
SAYS HE'S A GENTLEMAN.
Murderer Birchall Lodged i'm Jail
at Woodstock.

WOODSTOCK, Ont, March 13.-When
the express from Suspension Bridge
rolled into the station to-day, there was
large crowd waiting to see Birehall,
the alleged slayer of young BenWell.
He had to walk about the length of
ear to reach the cab in waiting, and this
gave every one present an OPP
pOrtunity of seeing him. He
wore rather a nervous sort
of smile as he glanced furtiyely at the
crowd, as if to recognize old friends, or
to see if any demonstration would be
made against him. The most complete
silence was preserved by all present.
The party having reached the Jail, the
prisoner jumped nimbly from the cab,
and walked along boldly, and as ii in a
hurry. with smile on his face. lie
shook hands with Jailer Cameron and
others. He chatted and talked with
nonchalance that was sur
prising, and seemed more unConcerned
than any one else in the jail. He gave
his name as j. X. Birchall, gentleman
England, and belonging to the Church
married he replied "Yep." AS all per-
sons who drink at all are entered as in
temperate, he is entered as Incorporate.
The
WARRANT OF COMMITMENT
specifies that -. r. Birchall did, OH or
about the 18th of February, 1890, in the
township of Blenheim, In the county of
Oxford, feloniOusly, willfully, and of
malice aforethought, kill and murder
F. G. Benwell, late of London, Eng"
The prisoner was taken up stairs
to cell in which the only furniture is
a small table. He will sleep in an
other cell opening into the corridor
which leads to the first one. Mention
of the fact that he would have another
cell to sleep in provoked smile and a
joke about the suite Of rooms. He
shook hands with the reporters and
others when they were leaving, and in
Tited them to call to see him again.
The prisoner requested that he be al
lowed to have his meals brought to him,
and was instructed to make a written
reqnisition on Sheriff Perry for that
purpose, which he did. He explains
that he had given his attorney
there would be no lack of funds.
Birchall said that besides Messrs. He'll
muth and Ivey he had retained another
legal gentleman of eminence, and that
doubtless his family lawyer from the
old country would also work on the
case. He was surprised to hear that
his old companion, S. V. Dudley, had
been
ACCUSED OF STEALING
both money and clothing from room
mate in Detroit. He inquired very
anXiOusly as to his whereabouts. ''Dud-
ley" said he, twas well connected. He
served in the army, and was for time
on board training ship. He was to
marry an English lady, daughter of
Lady Murray, think, and one night
he swan from the ship to the
shore to meet her. He was found out,
and was expelled from the ship" He
was taken into the jail-yard this after
noon for an outing. While there one of
the prisoners, a lunatic, approached
him very cautiously and pumped the
question: did you shoot the MANI"
Birchall laughed but said nothing.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-03-14
A DAKOTA HONOR.

MIR. PICKLER, one of the representa-
tives in congress from South Dakota,
belongs to the rainbow school of ora
tors. Poetry and the ladies naturally
inspire the fruitage of his imagination.
Female suffrage is his best hold, as it
were, but he is ready to wear variegated
ribbons. His home admirers are now
specially enthusiastic over the honor
conferred upon him and them in his Sc =
lection by the National Farmers alli-
ance, that met at st. Louis some time
since, to introduce in the house the
warehouse bill they devised. Senator
VANCE, a Democrat from North Caro-
lima. was chosen for this mission in the
senate and PICKLER in the house. The
ardor and ozone of the Dakotan was
shown in his alertness in getting in his
work two days in advance of the more
stald and slow-paced senator. Still he
has not been accorded the recognition
of the senator. 1t is spoken of as the
VANCE, not the PICKLER, bill. 1t was
hardly noted ouS of Dakota that he had
introduced the bill. The home papers
properly insist upon his having the
credit
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-03-14
SECRET SESSIONS.

In a recent newspaper interview Sen
ator MANDERSoN advocated executive
sessions of the senate on the ground
that it was in the secret session only
that he heard sincere and outspoken ut
terances from his fellow senators. This is
a sad but truthful commentary Oh the
inSincerity of our public men. 1t is
lamentabe truth that most OF the
speeches in congress are made for effect
on the galleries or the home constitu-
ency, and are not the expression of hon
est convictions. In the executive seS-
sions, where, by the rules of
the senate, everything is protect
ed from publicity, the senators
talk as they think, and many
word is spoken that would not have been
preathed if it was expected to reach the
public ear. 1t may be some comfort to
the individual senators to find place
where they can occasionally practice
truthful speech and to tell each other
what they really think Of men and meas
ures, but we fail to see how the public
interests are to be promoted by this pc
culiar style of underground honesty.
AS a matter of fact, these secret SeS-
siOns are usually devoted to washing the
dirty linen Of the administration. They
are principally held for the conSidera-
ton of appointments and are often
the scene of a great deal Of scandal that
the public never hears Of. Senator
MANDERsoN says that it is the usual
occurrence to have a batch Of CORE
Spondence read in these secret sessions,
attacking the private character of ap-
pOinteeS. and in most cases these letters
are written by persons who would be
afraid to write them if publicity was
to be given to them. Knowing that
the proceedings of the executive ses-
sions are to be kept secret, the scandal
mOngerS are tempted to indulge their
prOclivities and flood the executive SEES
sion with horrible, and mostly baseless,
stories of individual infamy relating to
persons who have been nominated for
Office. If this is the best argument, and
we have never heard better one, for
perpetuating the secret session fraud,
then it cannot be abolished too soon.
The very reasons given by Senator MAN
DERsoN in its support are the strongest
sort of arguments in favor of its abol-
ishment. If senators can't be prevailed
on to speak the truth in public, they
ought not to have the privilege of speak
ing it in secret. If scandal monging
is to become a part of congressional life,
then let it be done in public. The SEN
ate has no right to make of itself
q city of refuge for the slanderers.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-03-14
A GOOD MORO TOR OHIO.

There has been so much to disparage
in matters and things in Ohio of late
years, that it is cheerful to find an occa-
sion for laudatiOn. That state produced
HAYES and kept FORAKER in front a
tedious while. When it did right itself
politically it blundered in a senatorial
election, and has now played the old
Republican pork in an apportionment.
But the gratifying features are sWeetly
away from the political jangle. Figures
just gathered show that there has been
the past year almost an epidemic of
matrimony. There was no particular
increase of population, but the mar
riages were 1858 more than the year
before, and in excess Of any year in
Ohio history. The picture is not married
by the presentation of the industries Of
divorce courts. Without attempting
any computation of the accretion to the
average marital felicity of Ohio found
in 2,553 added connubial formations, it
is assuring to note this evidence that
one of the most important institutions
to the welfare of society is so beneficiaIly
aNyDoOdiuu
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-03-14
ST. PAUL IN BRIEF.

The case of Emil j. W. Fischer against the
company was dismissed yesterday, after the
evidence for the plaintiff was introduced.
The Nationalist club will welcome cordially
ali who come 10 fl West Fourth street this
evening TO listen TO Rev. j. ). David, Of Min
neapolis, who will then and there deliver an
address on ''The Effect of Nationalism Upon
Individuality" The clergymen of the cit
are especially invited; also every one who
has any curiosity about or sympathy with
the new movement for better industrial and
social conditions for humanity.
In the case of Peter Pfefer against Laura
A. Boyd and John A. Boyd, her husband. and
others, Judge Brill has filed an order decif
ing that Pfeifer is entitled to Judgment 70
foreelose the mortgage for 81, 1871. named
in the complaint. Out of the balance of pro
ceeds of the sale of real estate the sheriff is
directed to pay a note to Pfeifer for ST.
1888, and interest thereon, and hold ar
balance then remaining subject to order o.
the court.
fire in the paint and oil room of Blanc
& Co.'S building, 3l7 Wacouta street, made
lively work for the fire department at p. IN.
yesterday. One of the workmen, who wa
in the room at the time end whose hano:
were slightly burned, gives the cause AZ
spontaneous combustion. The firemen
could not throw a stream of water for fear OF
scattering the burning oil and creating a
conflagiatiOn, and had TO light the blaze by
smothering it with tarpaulins and empty
Sacks. The damage was nominal.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-03-14
PERSONAL POINTS.

Laid is governor Of Rhode Island and
Iowa is cared for by one of the Boies.
Edmund Gosse has begun biography
of his father, Phillip Gosse, the famous
naturalist.
Ignatius Donnelly is said to feel very
bitter over the fact that his cipher has
come to nOught.
Senator Brown. of Georgia, who has
been i'll for some time, expects to be in
Washington abont April /.
The new sultan of Zanzibar has only
twenty-three wives. He is considered
practically bachelor in that country.
Senator Evarts is going to make an
eight speech on Biair'S educational
bill. 1t will consist of four sentences
and gesture.
Prince George of Wales WILSON be
promoted to the rank of commander.
thereby leaping over the heads of 600
senior lieutenants.
There are only three members of con-