The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1890-10-29
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Licked for two cents-A postage stamp.
Fancy work-Building castles in the
air.
Where there is no liquor-In prison
bars.
"He was great boy. He was in for
everything" ''He's in for live years,
now."- Chatter.
You can generally get a point on insect
life by making yourself familiar with tho
bee.-7erds SJtings.
There are a good many things that go
without saying, but woman Is not one OF
them.-St. Joseph Ne'os.
While we have so many lakes in this
country, there is only one that IS really
uperior.-TeIas Sttin5s.
In early days the schoolmaster
"boarded around" himself, but he shin
gled the boys.-Ierds SJtings.
"NIamma, let me hold the baby, will
you2" "No, dear; mother is afraid you
might let him fall on Fido."-LJe.
1t is often impossible to distinguish 81
lence from wisdom, because they are fire.
ouently the same thing g.-Dailds Ne,cs.
Don't weep. for animalcu,p
Within all moisture squirm;
Don't sigh, because your breathing may
Communicate germ.
Toronto Empire.
II is an awful strain on woman's pa
thence to have husband who thinks he
knows how to cook IeiTe Haute En-
press.
Nothing delights small man so much
as TO have a chance to call a great man
in public by his first name.-Soner0iIt'
Journal.
Time is the essence Of all contracts,
except when you endeayor to contract
for suit of clothes on time.-Jelceters'
Circular.
Impressionable Charlie Ito elderly
beauty}-"Will you be minel" Elderly
Beauty-"No, Charlie, but I'll be
mother to you. ."-LiPpincOtts.
A sheriff seized college for debt some
time ago, and an inventory led to the dis
covery that the assets consisted of q first
class -Biaghamton Leader.
Woman may be trusting creature,
and all that, but she isn't apt to be de-
| CclNcI lnJO giving wv AhhSA N'SN'AN W
another woman.-E Elmird Gazette.
The man who knows everything labors
under Il misapprehension, He seems to
think that everybody wants TO hear every
thing. He is wrong.-DallaS Ne'oS.
The shortest day is generally believed
to be December 81; yet there are many
who say that the day before pay day Is
the shortest day.--JeOelers' Circular.
Your faults to others you should never mem
tion
philadelphia Times.
She (nervously)-"What do you think
of my biscuits, dear2' IIe-''H'ml l
don't caro- exactly to give an Off
hand opinion on weighty subjects. -
Bdzar.
Mrs. Peterby-'Don't you think it is
very remarkable that a swan should sing
before dyinga" Judge Peterby-"Not
so much SO as would if they sang after
dying. - Teras SVtiags.
al don't believe In allowing domestics
to get the upper hand. make my SER
want keep her place!n "You are lucky.
| Ours never does for more than three
weeks. .n-.AmericaH Gr0cer.
Benevolent Person-'I hope you treat
your horses well aud give them plenty of
hay" Driver-"Well, l can't afford to
buy 'em much of it, but says 'heyP to
them as often as can. ."-Light
'Leave the house, " said the irate debt
or. 81 couldn't hope to take the house
with me, with so heavy a mortgage on
it," retorted the creditor-but he did
take it later on.-Nmsey's Weekly.
''Good intentions are often thwarted
| in the most mysterious ways, as the
young man remarked when his best girl
sneezed Just as he was on the point Of
kissing her.-BarliHgtoa Free Press.
But, sir, to kiss
a miss
Is wrong, you see,"
81 do not kiss
Amis5
When kiss thee
- Washington Post
'sDo you share the common idea that
q vel ow clarionet is uuluckyi" asked an
amateur theatrical performer of a Mr..
! BlylSns. "I do emphatically unless they
] souud very ullleIeutil llu'h tAO DlASL
kind - Washington Post.
"Dear me, hope it amt serious!"
said old Mrs. Bunker. "What's the
matteri" 'Ethel says in her letter tina.
she aud her husband had row on the
lake Saturday afternoon" "Poohl that
amt row row. It's row row. -
Harpor's BaSar.
''Do you believe in healing by touchi'
asked Miss De Price. 'Iadeed | do"
replied De Blakes. 81 met Tom Tight
pinch day limping along and complain
ing Of the gout. touched him for
five aud he skipped off as though he had
never been in day in his life. - Chicago
Times.
The collective length Of the London