Morning journal and courier., 1890-04-17
STAR Y.

When Emerson said Glitch your wagon
to star" did he mean marry an actressa-
Exchange.
The Society Mothers Duties.-Little Miss
Avnoo-s'What is mammas forF' Little
Miss De Fashion-"Why, they is to scold
the nurses when we make a noise. New
York Weekly.
Wiokers-"I am afraid you have very lit
tie conception Of the wisdom of nature" "
viekers -ssAnd am afraid you have very
little conception of the nature of wisdom, p
Terre Haute Express. -: ass6
Amateur Hunter-"I declare! this whole
day gone and nothing killed. will go to
the thsater this evening anyhow and see
some blood; they are going to give Mao
beth. .'"-Fliegende Blatter.
81 have no sympathy for tramps. Your
habits are vile" "Then, madam, do not use
the profession as repository for old clothes.
You gave me this vile habit I am wearing
now year ago."-Chatter.
Bleodgood-"Your Uncle Robert is very
conservative man, isn't he?" Miss Travis
ST should say he was! You ought to see
the stacks of cut flowers he raises every
son."-Burlington Free Press.
Brave to Recklessness.-E -Englishman-
"Some of our English girls are quite expert
with the gun, don't you know. Lady Eva
y
India" American girl-'If they were eat
ing nice men she did just ght."-New York
Weekly.
International Journalism.-Hip Lung (of
Chinese paper at Peking)-"Here's report of
a most awful storm in the United States.
Hundreds were killed." Fin Wing (man-
aging editor)--"Give it fve lines on an inside
page; that's the way they treat our disas-
ters. ."-Puck.
A medical gentleman has propounded the
"Does a woman fill the lower half of her
lungs with air2'
He ought to get married and hear his wife's
mother on the rampage. That's all.-Paris
Edition Herald.
Difficult Figuring. Census Taker-"Hew
mauy male members are there in this fami-
lyW Kentucky housewife-"Wall, there was
six this mornin', but pap and tn boys went
out arter breakfas' fer a scrap with the Mug
ginses, and don't know how many there is
now."-New York Weekly.
Cheerful Editor-'If you could shorten
your poem little!" "Whv, there were six
teen verses when first wrote it, and now
there are only three" EXACTLY! Now with
little more effort perhaps you can do away
with those three, and then we shall be all
right. Blatter.
aool1n xASsuhoo. ~ Ao"A yoA
have been keeping yourself too closely con-
fined. You should 60 out more. Take a
constitutional every morning before break
fast" Colonel Ltvehigh-"I always do,
doctor, two OF 'em, and never less than three
fingers. New York Weekly.
A city paper says "bad roads are the cause
for the scarcity of eggs" If hens are not
going to lay eggs when the roads are bad it
| is about time Main street was being paved
with asphalt blocks. 1t Is a queer idea,
though, for hens to boycott bad roads by
stopping laying eggs.-Norristown Herald.
Willie Ito older sister)-"Say, Irene, you
get me cookie on the sly, or I'll give you
dead away" Older sister-'what do you
mean, Willie9" "Do you s'pose don't
know Mr.. Hankinson was here last nights'
"Well, what of it9" "What Of 1t. Nothin',
only put hunk of gum on that extra chair
In the parlor before he came, and it's still
there this morning. That's all."-Chicago
Tribune.
A Radical Change.-Kneesout Hauley [the
tramp)-"say, neighbor, gimme a dime, will
yera I want to buy brindle elephant with
green spots on his wing feathers" New Street
Broker-"A what?" Kneesout Hauley-"Jest
what said, friend. I've mentioned a cup ot
coffee, square meal of beans, ferry ticket an
nights lodgin' to my clients this mornin' an
none of IN don't seem to work. Thought I'd
try a new deal."-Puck.