Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-07-11
PITH AND POINT.

PITiI AND POINT.
Sir Isaac Newton made money by an
apple fall. Some women make money
by an apple stand.
Time will tell but the ordinary man
with an important secret won't give time
u chance. York Neics.
That the way Of transgressors is hard,
I agree. And no wonder-its tramplcd
SO heavily. Nnnseys Weekly.
Cheek always wins its way
Where seraphs might despair.
And that's the reason why
The book agent "gets there
at must have been a magnificent sight
to see the mighty wares subdued by OIL"
1T was kerosene shall never forget
-CIattcr.
Whipper-"Thy do you call Little.
short Il bad egg:' Snapper-"Oh, it's
so disagreea5lc to have him strike you
when he's broke. "-Pyc..'
There's something in the accents Of voice
That wakes our natures from their quiet
rest.
AS sleepy boys wro hear their fathers call
$1,000
Fond Parent-''Look hcre bought
you the windmill, now what do you
wanti' Little Willie-'Bool hoo-o-
o! want the wind. Muasey's Usct-
~.
snooper-..Mrs. Griegs must be very
laxative lady Sineral-"IIave you
ever heard her TALK" Snooper-"No;
but infer so from the fact inst she has
double chin. "-Juage.
Mr.. 3eaumondc-''How do you like
the new coachnan, my DEAR" Mrs.
Beaumonde-"Oh, he's splendid! His
hair just matches or pair OF chestnut
carriage horses. -Ligat.
"Now, Mrs. Taylor, YOU will excuse
me, but before taking YOUR son into my
employ l should like 10 inquiries as to
whether he has any bad habits" "Well,
no, sir-'cept dispcpscy. "-Nuper's Ba-
sar.
% wish had an idea" ouoth he.
What kind Of q one would you iikc:' said
She. szs
"Wel!, to tell truth'-and lie drew quite
az long for just one, and that's your eye.
--uunscys ii'ccl:ly
James, you know 1 disap-
prove very much of your fighting, but 1
cannot help feeling proud of you for
whipping such big boy as that. What
did you whip him for:" Son Gndig-
nantly)-"Why, lie said looked like
YOU
Biggs-"Old Mr.. Dresser, the tailor,
who has been in business forty years,
dropped dead the other day while taking
a customers measure. What do you
think of such an ending as that to q
mans life?" Boggs-'' Fitting clothes,
l should say"
Butcher Boy-''Anytl,ing else to take
OUT" Butcher-''Yes, this ten-pound
roast is tog go to Mr.. Wcalthy's residence,
and this other ten-pound roast is to go to
Mrs. Siimdict's clearinghouse Now,
don't get them mixed, or we'll lose two
customers. "-Ne'o York IE.esly.
"Who is that finely dressed gcntlman2"
son, that is General Graspum. Hcmade
his money rs director OF the Pykrust
National Bank" "And who is the rag
ged beggar talking to him." "That is
h"'hpH"Ooi, WHO MRS one Oh the largest
depositors in the bank. "--Nunsey's.
"This,' said the farmers boy, as he
ran his fingers about and carefully alb
sorbed from them into his system the de-
licious golden accumulation upon the top
OF the pan Of milk his mother mad thrice
hidden away from him. ''this is the
cream of the joke" DnnsgiUe Brfese.
''Salem! SalemM called out the con-
ductor as train rolled into the station
the other day. "Whntw said lady
turning to the Judge, sis this the place
where they hung witches?" ''Ycs, yes"
replied the Judge, with twinkle in his
eye; "but be calm, madam, they don't
do it now. "-Sdiem Witch
Mutton, as an article OF food, is whole
some and nutritious, and may be eaten
with IMMUNITY with caper sauce. In fe-
male seminaries, where the male element
is an unknown quantity, side-saddles of
mutton only should be used, and care
should be observed that the young ladies
do not indulge in too many capers.-Neao
York Nc1es