Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-02-28
FLASHES OF FUN.

liz VA O41
PEOPLE always long for money when
they're short.
SPRING goeth before a summer-eault
and fall after q winter slide.
The consumer may consider himself
lucky if he gets milk OF the first water.
QUEEN V1cToRIA's reign has lasted so
long that it seems to have lapsed into
a sort of drizzle.
WHY need the wild sea waves lash
the shore? There's no danger of the
shore getting away.
WHATS in a name% All, bard of fauA..
Your logic Time doth wreck;
Ills Gould's, and not McGinty's name,
That counts upon a check.
"GNAw, you DON'T" as the cheese
said to the mouse when he tried to eat
a hole in the wire screen that COW
cred it.
LAwYER-Your opponent will have to
pay the entire amount, but you will
have to stand the costs. Client-W VII
you please tell me, have I won or lost?
HE-Whys should you be so angry at
me for stealing just one little kiss?
She Any self-respecting woman would
be angry at q man who kissed her lust
once.
FAIR Bostonian %(instructing her Kan
sas cousin)-Always sip soup from the
side Of the spoon. Kansas Cousin
(desperately)-Yes, but 1 can't git it in
sideways.
Mr.. N. PECK (slapping his pocke)-g
Here's a nice state of affairsl Wick
wire-What's the matter? Forget your
pocketbook? Mr.. N. Peck-Yes; 1 for
got to leave it at home.
MISS YELLowLEAFE- have been
trying to get a gold dollar coined the
year I was born. Miss Oaustiaue-
I'm afraid there must be a very high
premium on them now.
WIFE Ito husband at the end Of a
spat)-The fools amt all dead yet.
Husband-They amt, eh? Wife-No,
or 1 would have the amount of your in
surance policy before this.
AN Indiana boy who was obliged to
leave school to go to work said in re-
gard to the matter: 1T makes me very
sorry to feel that next week my seat
will be filed by my absence"
WALL1s-Did Black win the lawsuit
he had over that large sum Of money?
Wallace suppose he did. He told
me he lacked only $3.50 of having
enough to pay the lawyer, after it was
over.
Mr.. GRUBBs 90 p. NIL hate to go
to sleep, knowing that a strange young
man is down in the parlor with our
daughter. Mrs. Grubb - Don't you
worry. We had onions tonight, you
know.
. JUST Before He Got Licked Willie
Mamma, you've put up a job on me.
Mamma-What do you mean, my SON?
Willie-You told me I mustn't seem to
notice Uncle Geehaw's table manners.
Why, he hain't got any.
BELINDA-Dearest, what was the real
reason of your marrying me? Al
phonzo-I think it was because I I'M
derstood you. And what was the req
son of your marrying me? Belinda
I think it was because I did not under
stand you.
con, yes," remarked the minister's
little son, Il like to see so many folks
remembering pa about Christmas time;
but if the women knew what an awful
temptation it is to pa when I'm bad and
there's SO many slippers handy, they'd
send him some other sort of PRESENTS"
MISS SELFMADE = Mamma, I have
been insulted. Mrs. Selfmade-Who
has insulted her mothers own girl?
Miss Selfmade-At the reception this
evening Mrs. Broadacres came up gush-
ingly and said: We are neighbors,
you know, and I really must cultivate
you. As much as to say that 1 need
cultivation.
Miss WE'RE DE VERE-Only think,
Mr.. Tumley, they have a custom in
Spain that when one admires anything
the owner Immediately presents him
with it. Mr. Tumley (desperately)-
I admire your hand very much. Miss
We're de Vere-I beg your pardon, Mr..
Tumley, but we are not in Spain; we
are on Staten Island.
A TINY ElELRDA0.
A wonderful railroad is the one which