davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1890-09-26
Carving and Serving,

in serving SOUP. a large lade.ul to plate
Is generally considered sufficient. 1t is Gus.
tomary to serve fish with silver or plated
broad knife, or slice, instead OF q steel one,
and also to use silver or plated knives ard
forks in eating fish. In serving sauces and
gravics it is we'll to place them at the side
o. the plate and not on the meats and veye.
tables.
Never employ knife ut the table when a
spoon or fork will answer the purpose.
Begin to carve sirloin object at the emil
never in the middle, otherwise the Juice
will all run out and what remains is dry
and unpalatablc. Always cut down as
close to the bone as possible; then, BY cut.
ting across you can disensase the Slice and
make them more inviting than il cut out
at random. All meats arc much more pre-.
scntable il cut across the grain; they are
also more readily masticated.
In carving a leg OF mutton or ham, begin
at the point towards the loin. never at the
knuckle or outer end.
In serving owls when no preference IL
expressed. give guests some OF both white
and dark meat The breast of q roasted
owl, though the least juicy. looks nicely,
and Is pre-. erred by some persons. Ii no
preference is expressed, give to each guest
slice Of this part.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1890-09-26
A Petrified Monster.

The long continued drought in
central and southern Iowa has
brought to light the petriiicd re-
mains of some antediluvian mon
ster. over which the waters of the
Des Moines river have rolled Tor CEN
turtles. The resting place ofthis orig
inal first settler is in the little vii
lage of Percy, in Marion county.
During the great drought of three
years ago, when the river was lower
tlan it had ever been within the
memory of the white men. S. Il.
Dawson. n gentleman living near
Percy, clnimed that lie had found Il
"queer thing" in the river near
town. The present dry spell proves
that Dawson was right, and that
his "queer thing" is an extinct mon
ster of gigantic proportions. The
head has become detached and lies
forty or fifty feet from the body,
which is now about fifteen yards in
length, Notwithstanding the fact
that several joints are missing. At
-a-distance of thirteen fee, from the
tip of the tail the stony monster is
Tour ieet nine inches in breadth.-St.
Louis Republic.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1890-09-26
Even the Worm. Etc.

The musical barbt1 in an interest.
ing fellow in his WY. He is he chap
who keeps tiVs with his razor OH
your fi,ce to the music of the hand
organ that can usually he heard
churning away outside of the shop.
"See here" said nervous customer
to one of these BARRIERS in down
town shop n day or two since as the
organ without was grinding out
Johnnie, Get Your Cum" II am
usually patient person. am not
n kicker nor am l II GROWER, but
just hold up your work and listen to
ME. l have said nothing when you
have shaved me to he tune OF Sweet
Violets;' have not-abiectcd when
Your razor>kept time to the soft
strains of "Whitc Wings have
held my peace when you have work
ed away to the measure of the Mar
seillaise,' and have been patient
even un Ter the tuneful tale of Lit
tie Annie Rooney but let me now
impress once and forever on your in
tellect that l will not lie shaved to
the tune of Johnnie, Get Your Cum
Now go ahead with your work.
New York Times.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1890-09-26
Sweet Content.

A ehildrcn's party, and the twins not in.
tied! That was hard to bear, not because
they expected to be invited, but from tho
bitter fact that they lived near enough to
the great house to see the gaycty though
they were not in it.
Their own house was tiny cottage. to
which they had just moved, and really the
only reason why they were not at the party
was that nobody had had time to realize
that there were some new children In the
neighborhood.
All the afternoon they stood by the fence,
peering across the meadow and watching
the little forms of happy guests fitting
about the lawn. Evening came, and they
were silent with delight over the Chinese
lanterns in the shrubbery.
"Oh!" cried Lulu in an ecstacy Is their
mother came out to look with them, such
lovely. lovely lights! If We could only bs
there and see them close TO-"
But we must lie contented," said nam.
ma checrfully. eff we're not invited We
must find happiness Mt home"
II do not think can be happy till the
party is over" said Lulu in sad decision.
''See how Highland bright it Is there and
how dark We are"
Little Agnes had been looking up to the
clear summer heaven and then down at the
meadow where tirctlies were swarming.
Don't You mind. Lulu, she said in her
little soft voice, we've got tho stars and
the frefies anywayv.[ Youths Compan-
ion.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1890-09-26
A Journey Lasting Nearly Two
Years,

In sarotov an interesting traveller
on foot arrived recently. He was q
peasant, Nikolay Audukin by name,
and over seventy years Of age. He
had l,een serf, and in 1852 his mas.
ter had accused him of theft, and had
caused him to be exiled to Okhotsk,
in Eastern Siberia. As the crime of
which he had been accused could not
be established he was sent off rs q
''free exile" that is, he was not kept
prisoner or hound to penal service
in the place of his destination. For
thirty-eight years lie worked in Ok
hotsk as tanner, and saved some
money. Having attained his seven
tieth year he conceived a desire tore
turn to his native land. and as he
said "to put away his lutte bones
among his own people when his time
is up in this world" But he was
still hale and hearty, and Travelled
all the way from Okhotsk on foot.
He was on tho road twenty-five
months, and had many narrow es-
cape from encounters with bears and
wolves. At his old home he has q
large family of children and grand
children awaiting him with open
arms.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1890-09-26

The Popular Idea of Electricity
One of the chief ends of popular
electrical education is to eliminate a
certain sort of credulity. The pop
ular idea of electricity is to look up
OH it as q mysterious force, coming
from nowhere in particular, doing
very nearly what it pleascs, and
equally able to produce a spark and
q general disruption of the universe.
There is tendency on the part OF
certain people to contemplate it us
IN African does his sreegree, IL won
derful and ineiIable something that
need only be invoked to produce al-
most any result that can be named.
This spirit has, perhaps, hastened
the march OF electrical industries,
but it is certainly unworthy to en-
courage it. The sooner people are
brought to look upon electrical
power Us only one OF the Protcan
forms OF energy as subject to known
laws and quite transferable into
other kinds OF energy, the better for
everybody concerned.
To be sure, We do not know what
electricity is; in fact, it is quite prob
able that it is not separate entity
at all, but on the other hand We do
not know what the force allied gravi-
tation is. Yet the actions OF both
under given conditions can lie fore
told with considerable accurncy. md
perhaps we should not be able to do
much more with them if nature
should yield up her profound secrets
and set the unquenrhable curiosity
of man ut rest. Look Mt electric on
ergy rs II force obe,lient to certain
avs, known and unknown, able to
accomplish much in skillful hands,
hut do not Imagine it Us ready to do
oil sorts OF marvellous things with
out any particular method in its
madncss.-l1lectricnl World.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1890-09-26
A Plague of Fleas.

A plague OF Aeas has spread over
New York City and Newark, and the
insects infest dwellings,, offices, work
shops. churches and theatres. After
church hours on Sunday. men and
women walking on the streets had
to scratch their arms and necks
when they were bitten. Men who
went to their Offices found soon aft
er they got 10 work that their per-
sons were fairly covered with the
pests. In one newspaper office the
printers were so much harnssed that
they were much delayed i'll their work,
The insects nre principally Ola red
dish color. although many of the old
time black animal heas IRE among
them. The New York Board of
Health suggests that residents at.
flicted use insect powder freely.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1890-09-26
A Welcome Summer Dessert.

A delicate batter pudding served with
any fresh fruit is q welcome summer dcs-
scrt. The puddings made with sour cream
are among the hest and least expensive OF
these dishes. Take c cup of sour cream and
set it aside. Stir quarter of teaspoon of
soda into two cups OF sweet milk, add wo
cups of flour in which two teaspoons of
baking powder have been mixed. add two
eggs, half a teaspoon OF salt and the sour
Beat the batter vigorously, and when It is
full OF blisters add pint Of unstoncd cher
ries. Bake the pudding for three quarters
of on hour in moderately quick oven and
serve ii with foaming sauce. 1t should be
baked in round tin bakin: dish.-lNcw
York Tribune
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1890-09-26
A Joke With Variations.

~ JoNo Wilt vdFIdIlOnSs
From the st. Paul Pioneer Press.
"You ought to get 5 cents worth
of chloride oflime."
"What for?"
"For MCKEE"
The above was passed around free
ly among number of st. Paul citi
zens, and was in each case recognized
as q practical joke of considerable
merit. Acting upon the suggestion
q prominent merchant of this city
determined to work it off on his
bookkeeper with an original varia-
ton. So lie said:
You ought to take scents worth
OF potash" ..,,.s,...s,,,
Contrary to the merchants Ell
tations, the taciturn bookkeePer
meekly bowed his head, and went on
footing his trial balance, while the
employer retired disconftamnt the
nf1aire flambee. The next morning
he received a note from his book
keeper to this effect:
~ took the ) cents worth of pot.
ash, and l am sick as a horse"
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1890-09-26
J l4iilHK From Ralloons.

The proportion OF balloon acct
dents to successful ascents has, or
the whole, however, been probab bly,
smaller than should have been an
ticipated. Blanchard, the first tc
tnke IN ballooning as q vocation
died In bed in 1909, after having
made GO asccnts without accident.
Many asccnts have been made in the
cause OF science; nnd the names OF
Green, who made over 400 nsccn ts;
OF John Wise, who made the Ills.
lance from St. Louis. Mo-, to Jeffer.
son County, n. u, l, 900 miles, in 20
hours; otGny-Lnssac and Blot, who,
in 1904, made n most valun bic series
OF meteorological and physical Oh.
servatiOrs at the height of -, 600
feet; OF G'aisier, who rose to 81, 900
feet with the 9ronaut, Coxwell; and
especially, recently, OF the Brothers
Tissnndier-all these are familiar to
every one.
In 1904 the balloon was used for
military purposes by General Jour
dan, who secured continued observa-
ton oil the Austrian movements. and
thus gained the battle of Fleury.
The French are also reported to
have used the same method in the
battle of Soltcrino. A balloon corps
was organized by General Mcclellan
at the outbreak of our own civil
war, 1861; and the use OF balloons
was one of the regular and daily
means OF obtaining information of
the movements of the enemy. Dur
ing the siege OF Paris the balloon be-
came the only means of sending dis.
patches out of the belcagured city,
and proved to be very reliable. of
oil the balloons sent out from Paris.
over sixty in number, but three were
lost; and they, probably, simply be-
cause they were dispatched ut night
to avoid the risk from the fire of the
enemy; which us the event proved,
was far less dangerous than dark
ness. Every government probably
now has balloon corps.-Forum.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1890-09-26
IOWA..

DR.. f. 8. Burrows, OF Davenport, 10 prob.
ably the oldest Freemason in the state He
is 92 years age and took his first degree
in mnsonry sixty -nine years ago.
Millnrd Witherspoon. promising young
man Of Lnwler. stood upin his wagon to
hurrah for sometbing. The horses became
frightened and ran away. throwing the youn z
mum out and killing him instantly.
Miss Ortie Rcichart, Tiptcn young lady
wns held up by ootpais on one OF the prin.
cipal streets o TINT city at 8 oclork in the
evening md relieved OF her pocket book and
small amount o: money.
Mrs George r. Cloud. OF Carroll who lost
both husband and home on account of liquor
has brought sait for damages ngninst
the snloonkeepers Q that city with excellent
chances o winning her case.
The prisoners in the Council Bluffs joil
nearly drowned u color,d fellow prisoner
named Jim Smith by turning the hose on
him. and the next dry the judge continued
the joke by adding ten days extra to the
sentence of the participants.
The Dubuque Herald says the color line il
being drawn more closely than ever in that
city and that colored residents find
themselves unable to rent house or even n
suite OF rooms to live in. An applicant is
told that the premises are rented md when
they call weeks later find tho houses still un-
occupied.
An insoent tramp stopped at Mrs Jor.
dams homo at Ottumwa and demanded
food. When it was refused him he threat
ened to help himself A couple OF men who
we're near we're summoned. who knocked the
tramp down and held him till the patrol
wagon could he secured. He now longuishes
in jail. He will not tell his name
When the men at the Illinois Central
freight-house ut Dubuque opened car the
other day they discovered an object in q
corner which, when brought into the sun
light, proved to bs q dirty -fnced boy. He
was nine yenrs old. he claimed md Ind stol.
EN- n ride from Sheldon to Freeporf, ILL.,,
and was ON his way back to Sheldon. He
stated TINT his object in travelling WIS to
see the country. The precocious youngster
was given his dinner by the men and duly
forwarded to Sheldon.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1890-09-26
Told by a Massachusetts Man.
Mr.. Odds, a gentleman from Mas.


sachuset6s, now residing On the st.
Lucie river, tells remarkable story.
While clearing u homestead on the
east side of the river, by the sea-
shore, lie went to battle in the surf,
but on putting his feet in the waves
found the water icy cold: he tried it
again with the same result. The wa
ter was Just like ice: he then walked
along the beach and found piles of
frozen fish. 1t is supposed that a
huge mountain OF ice from the South
seas became lslod~ed and hoated
with the current to this shore before
the warm waters OF the guilt had
time to melt it. However, this is
only speculation, and to many it
. still lemains n mystery.-Florida
Times. Union.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1890-09-26
Honesty Rewarded.

Detroit Free Press: ara like to ri.
trusted ;ur about 81 worth Of stuff" said .
colored man to q grocer on Heaubien stree.
the other day.
"Yon! Why. don't know you." was
the reply.
But my name is Thompson"
"ie.. but being named Thompson is not
enough"
"Hu! Den I'll foich ye obcr fo'teen pco-
pie TO prove dat Use gwine to move
away to Saginaw next week."
The grocer gave him pound Of codfisl.
for his honesty.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1890-09-26
Powers of the English Lam
guago.

Professor Jacob Grimm, the all.
tho, OF the most learned German
grammar and, jointly with his
brother, the best German diction
airy, says: "Among all the modern
languages none has, by giving
up and contounding all the laws Of
sound, and cutting oil nearly all
the infections. acquired grente,
strength and vigor than the English.
Its tullncss of free middle sounds.
which cannot be- taught hnt only
learned, is the cause OF an cssrn,i:.
force of expression such rs perhaps
never stood ut the command oi any
other lanruagp ui man.n
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1890-09-26
The Advantage Of the Public School.

We have no place in America for dainty
pcople-o.tcn called gilt edgcd-who think
that the army would be good place if it
were not tor the rank and file. So it Is bet
ter for boy of ours to be pitched into a
public school. to take pot luck with all
sorts and conditions OF boys. and to learn
fellows in the world. not to say the bright
est. never had French nurse. and always
black their own shoes when they are
BACKED at all In all such schools that
have known the tone OF honor is very high
And in such society one early learns the
great lesson that all the people are wiser
than any one OF the people.-[Forum.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1890-09-26
Aprairie Dire recently burnt through The
Chamberlain graveyard and spoiled several

A prairie Dire recently burnt through ths
Chamberlain graveyard and spoiled several
gravs-stones.
The Hngen boy at Aberdeen, who was
nearly killed by being dragged halfmils or
more BY COW. 10 gradually showing signs
OF returning consciousness. and his perma.
nent recovery is not altogether unexpected.
A little daughter OF Joe Peller, o! Co.'S
talia, got pin iust in her throat Ole day
and would have probably strangled to
death but for the timely servicesrendered by
DR.. Nelson, WHO succeeded nextracting the
pin.
A party from Buffalo Gap recently made
the trip down the Cheyenne to the Missouri
ind down the latter stream to Pierre. dis.
tance of 304 miles. They were ten days up.
on the river and encountered many Shouts
and rapids.
Lead City hos horse TINT rclishcs ten.
derloin beef steak or enjoys tat ley OF NUT.
ton ~ well rs his master. He has developed
wonderful proficiency IN catching aud killing
mice. with Which his stable aboun,ls, and
which he eats with relish.
The old Missouri at Picrro 10 down to ito
low water mnrk, but it il still several feet
higher than ut this time Inst year. This ia
used ns the basis for the prediction that tn"
years ofdry seasons IRE at an end, mud for
the next ten years there will be q cycle OF
rainy seasons.
Some little children at Lead City wore
amusing themselves by dropping water on
lime. when one OF them poured too much
water on causing che lime to fire ut once.
burning their faces and eyes horribly. All OF
the little ones will probably be iisfieurcd for
lie and it is cared two OF them will be per.
manently blind.
Carl Lindell and Harry Rathmcll. Of Pierre,
were out picking plums and hunting the
other day and it came near being Lndell'a
ast hunt. They had IL rifle. As caliber, in
the wagon and Linlell seized by the muzzls
to pull it out. when IT naturally went off,
Tho bull passed through tho rim Of his hat
and his iocc was considerably powder burned.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1890-09-26

Upon the stomach and bowels nre perpetra-
ted by multitudes OF inju'lirious people who,
upon experiencing the annoyance OF cons,i.
patton in a slight degree, intiltrate their
bnwe with drenching evncuants, which en-
feeble The intestinal membrane to II serious
extent. sometimes. even. experimenting dys.
snterI or piles. llostettcr's Stomach Bit.
terra il the trnc surreanrum or these nos.
trums. sine" it il at once invigorutinr. gen.
tie and ctltctual. 1t also lanisl,cs ivspcp-
sin. mn'nrini complaints. rheumatism and
kidney troubles
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1890-09-26

Life: Distinguished Guest (at the summer re.
sort hotel)-Garcon. you may hand ME the
menu BY the way your face is strangely ia.
Gascon .tproudly)-PossiLly. sir. was a
guest OF this hotel last year
Distinguished Guest ito himself)-Indeed!
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1890-09-26
ONE ENJOYS

~
Both the method and results when
Syrup Of Figs is taken; it is pleasant
and refreshing to the taste, and acts
gently yet promptly ON the Kidneys,
Liver aud Bowels, cleanses the sys
tenn efisctually, dispels colds, head.
aches and fevers and cures habitual
constipation. Syrup of Figs is the
only remedy Of its kind ever pro.
duced, pleasing to the taste and &C.
eeptable to the stomach, prompt in
its action and truly beneficial in its
effects, prepared only from the most
healthy and agreeable substances, its
many excellent qualities commend i!
to all and have made it the most
popular remedy known.
Syrup Of Figs is for sale in 500
and 81 bottles by all leading drug.
gista Any reliable druggist who
may not have it on hand will pro.
cure it promptly for any one who
Wishes to try it. Do not accept any
substitute.
, CALIFORNIA RIO syrup co.
..,... SAY FRANCISCO. CAL.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1890-09-26

Sunshine: Editor-Ive brought this vest
back. Its too small.
Tailor-Well. ! can fix that easily enough
by letting in o ". Whore would you pre-
fer 10 haye ], put In?
Editor-What. the W
TsiIor-Ycs.
E,litor-For heavens sake. put It In she
pocket. That's where I.nssd il luost.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1890-09-26
Hebrew. lsraelite and Jew.

Our broad national distinction
gave us the name Israeite in the
time OF our ancient greatness-a
greatness to which allpeople may at
some time in the long future rise,
and then We NAV again, together
with a Gol-fearing people, adopt the
name OF Israelite. Before our ances-
tors were, in IL national sense, Israel
ites, they were Hebrews-n name
which was, and is to-day. a race dis
tinction. The word Jew is a narrow
name in use for our separate religious
distinction. Nothing could he plain-
er to us. Hebrew refers to the race,
IsraeIite refers to the nation, Jew to
the religion.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1890-09-26
sav "Fhank You."

Isuppose when you do friend good
turn. and he is 80 busy enjoying Its benefits
that he goes off in hurry and lorgets to
say Thank you" you are likely to say To
yourself. III next try my hand on some.
body at least who can get breath enough
he ore he eats his cherries look back on
the orchard" Ingrat .tuds is the grca, trial
OF parents with children and o: God with
man. I'D rather man would hurl Thanks
aw ully" at me than to keep dumb. Even
conventional and slang thanks are better
than utter d,scourtesy and blank ingrati-
tude,-fLewiston Journal.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1890-09-26
Could maka 10, l,,,,v

OO0Iu Wdk8 tf6F Ft2ppy.
Washington Post: mabel. dearest, d.
you think could make you hsppyi"
II should think 20; Mrs. jenkins hu,
band did her,"
Howl"
HE Insured his lifo for $1,000 and the,
died."
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1890-09-26

When baby was sick, we gave her Castoria,
When she wns IL Child. she cried 'or Castoria
When she became Miss, she chung to astoria
when she hadchildren, she gave theme ast oria
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1890-09-26
60 to spcak-the phonograph ready for
Aafinn

A sonn that is soft is ull of water. half or
two.thirtlsi's weight probably, thus you pay
seven or eight cents per pound or water.
Oobiins' Electric Soap is all soap and no
aduIteration, therefore the cheapest and best.
Try Dobbins'.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1890-09-26
ScrofuIa

'In 1887 my son. years old. had white swell.
ling come on his right leg below tho knee. which
became very much swollen aud painful. and con.
tracted the muscles SO that his leg was drawn M
at right angles. Physicians failed to help him
materially, md considered him
A Confirmed Cripple.
was about to take him to Cincinnati for nm
operation. expecting his leg would have to be
taken of. and began giving him Hood Sarsapn.
rilla in order to get up his strength. Tho medi-
cine woke W. his appetite and soon pieces Of bone
were discharged from the sore. We continued
with Hoods Sarsapara. as It seemed to be doing
him 10 much good, and the discharge from the
sore decreased. tho swelling went down. the leg
strai9h:enel out. and in few months he had
perfect Use OF hin leg. He now runs everywhere,
and apparently IL MS we'll as ever" JOIN L..
McMrRRAY. Notary Public. Raven.wood. W. Va.
Hoods SarsapariIIa
Sold by NIL druggists. 81: ak for So Prepared
only BY G. L. HOOD 4 CO., Lowell Mass,