Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-01-09
WORK OF THE WITS.

IT is long lane that has no tumble
lbr the bicyclist.
SOMETHING attractive in the way of q
cigarette holder-a pretty girls mouth.
MABEL-Amy, what has become of
your "anti-sla society,"" Amy-0h.
it's in the soup"
TOMMY wish the school-room was
round. Mother-Why? $50 the teach
er couldn't make me stand in the
corner"
IT is the man who orders q room on
the top floor who takes up the most
room in writing his name on the hotel
register.
PHILADELpHIAN-Has Pittsburg any
thing of literary atmosphere? Pitts
burger-Yes, it is noted for its volumes
of smoke.
The infant King of Spain is to have
his portrait put on postage stamps.
This will make him more Stuck up"
than ever.
"DID you have spicy call?" she
asked sarcastically, after his return
from the haunts of the festive Glove
between the acts.
WE know men who insist at every
point upon beating their way through
life, but we observe that they all draw
the line at carpet.
MOSES KLElDERsTEIN - Sarah, my
dear, don't let Rachel come out; dis
shentelmans looks too enticing in dot
new suit of clio he's going to buy!
ONE of the heather customs which
lady missionaries have to get used to is
not to look pleased when natives tell
them their babies look sweet enough to
eat.
MuDaE-H I were to lose my mind,
do you suppose would be aware of it
myself? Doctor Boless - You would
not. And very likely none of your ac-
quaintances would notice it, either.
In the back parlor, before supper {:
Mother-Carrie's coming-out is a sue
cess, James! Father (disgustedly)-
Yes, indeed There she stands Look at
herl Could any ono ask for any more
Of her to come out.
YABsLEY-These novelists make me
tired. The idea of O "withering glance |"
As if any one could be withered by o
mere look. Wickwire-You are young
yet, Yabsley. You never stepped on
your wife's train at ball.
New Minister'S your papa at home,
little girl? l am the new minister, and
understand that he is one of the pill
lars of my church. Little Girl-Oh,
yes, he's always at home to ministers.
Ministers don't have bills, you know.
M. PERErTI has written book to
prove that Columbus was Corsican.
We believe it, for when Isabella asked
him if, with the proceeds of her neck
lace, he could get down east by sailing
west, he answered: "Of course /
can"
"WELL, Ican't see any fun in attend
ing court" said an observant old lady.
sEvery time winess goes to tell any
thing that's got anything TO do with
the case, all the lawyers jump up and
holler, and tho iedge rules the testi-
hony out" a
Let others talk of T. Ms eyes
And T's figuro light and free,
Say L II too is beautiful
heed them not while U @.
u need not N Them for U
XII them all, my NJ LIE.
have no words when would tell
How much in love with b.
So sweet II, my d II E,
love your very Il O
And when you speak or sing, your voice
Is like winsom l. d.
When u II G, hope ID KS,
am mere non-N IT,
Such F f X has your smile
1t shields from N + ME-.
For love so doep as mine, fear,
There Is no other NJ Il d,
But that you love ME back again
o thought of heavenly TO-
So lest my NJ 4 heart and
Should sing for love an L EG,
Us me no more-B Y's, B kind
o, NILE, U Il ICl
st. Nicholas. -