The Washington critic., 1890-02-03
A TRANSFERRED POLICY.


My ease is most peculiar and vexatious
one. Seven years ago insured my life for
$4,000 in good company. was then in
comparatively afiuent circumstances. Two
years afterward ] suffered sudden financial
reverse and was obliged to hypothecate my
life insurance TO Il friend, who loaned me
$1,000 thereon. Subsequently he became
bankrupt and transferred the security aud
the Indebtedness to n third party, one of
his creditors, money-Ioaner by birth aud
occupation.
Perhaps you have noticed on the streets
man with n remarkably low brow, an evil
eye ortwo, slouching figure, hands which
seem to he clutcbing forever at something
which eludes them, and a general air of
monetary depravity. That is Mr.. Heichen
lifrer, who holds the insurance on my life.
IL you should need another point by which
to identify him 1t would be found in the
fact that Mr.. leichenlifler walks with his
head down, looking always for pennies on
the sidewalk. 'You haf no idea how many
pennies dere we're on de sidewalk said he
10 me one day. II haf fount sefenteen in
my life. Dis is a fiery careless world, my
poy."
The fact is that Mr.. HeichcnlifTer is ex-
eeedingly anxious for me TO die, aud so
ardent and persevering is he in the expires
sion Of this wish that he annoys me exceed
ingly. Not that he ever comes out directly
he is too quiet man for that-hc is, in
deed, in his manner as soft and soothing as
silk worm; but every morning when
emerge from the door of my humble home
there is Mr.. Heichenilrer at the gate with
ore eye on the sidewalk and the other on
nir.
''tioot morning, my frent," he says: sit
vas putifnl tay."
''Yes," answer. | am as brief with him
as possible.
''sill.n remarks Mr. IFeichenlilfer, 'dere
vas much malaria in dc atmosphere. De
v,tler vas fine, but piIious. haf not been
f. cling fiery well myself last night. hope
your health has been excellent, my poy."
This is on fine days. On rainy days Mr..
Heichenlffer reminds me Of the rheuma-
tism and of the wellknown fact that
rheumatism of the heart is nearly always
fatal. On cold days Mr.. IIeichenliifer
vi etuously discourses on pneumonia, and
ON hot days he turns to cholera and sun
stroke. And then he sends me pamphlets
through the mails-loads and loads OF
them-almanacs containing pages of bitter
advertisements and columns of letters from
nvali ds who have been sick-unutterably
stck-tIacts of quack doctors who describe
in furious terms all the ills that human
Hesh has been heir TO since the days OF
Adam, and who put into the head of the
athlete the notion that he is trembling on
the verge of nervous prostration. Mr.
IIei,henliffer also sends me all the obituary
notices he can find IN the daily papers
memorial volumes of dead Congressman
undertskers' cards, bits of Grape, notice,
of eoroners' inquests, and heaven only
knows what not. Last week / came HON,
one evening tired from work and there wal
bearse at the gate. / didn't feel particu
larly angry had gone beyond that.
"Drive on for little while," said t,
the gentleman in charge Of the vehicle .
don't want you just now. You have tele
phone, suppose -
This morning met Mr.. HeichenlilTer, a
usual.
SAB, my poy," said he, 'dis vas a ter
ripple tisease, de grip. | congratulate yoI
on account you haf it not. And myself,
haf It not. It is goot thing
y ou haven't itY'' asked. "When diC
you ever LET go OF anythingyn
"Goot enough exclaimed AIr. TIechen
lIfTer. "You haf delightful spirits.
goot ioke-dat is de result of excelleu
digestion. You haf goot health, m
trent. But you look pale and tired. Pos
sibly you have not sleep great deal, mich
varfn
did not reply and presently he sai'
musingly; "a tousend tollars 1T is a goo