New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1890-03-10
CHANCES HERE and THERE.

II any one heard at any theatre anywhere O
oueerer commentary than this. let that person be
produced. Twas at the Winter Garden-wasn't
II '-durng the last engagement of Charles Kcan and
his wife, Ellen Tree. The play. Henry VIII. the
act drop fell. Then thus spoke. hoarsc WHISPER
Ann j do believe he's ag0in' to marry that thero
Ann Bss s Well had na have a,cn snowed that We
DON'T go West sir; stay here and invent things
Things that everybody wants, but doesn't know H.
No sale7 OH YES, here is an order for 100000 OF
your improved umbrella racks, to hold an unoie"a
by the handle, instead OF poking ii through aho'her
umbrella and presently havn1 another umoreI )"Do
into IL in q hidden pen the dark corner Ana sehu
100000 of your domestic automatic coec ~ 's 80
No g. with adjustable safety indicator ior VIC iresn
and .infable roasting coffee TO urn carry every
morning. And what about paste that won't SUCK
practicable pasepot TO hold it till you want IT, ana
have it when you want it And place to Keep TN tns
family "rubbersr7 The world lshl Hah-nins"eo so''
either inside or out Go to work on H.
A lady who signs herself "Java and Mocha" Is a
little mixed by what Kaecha wrote in The Tribune OF
Fehruarv Or about oneemaking What is meant" she
wants TO know .by brown fire proof chemical porce-
lain coffee pot where could one be obtained there
bv obligng reader Of the sensible article. who has
tried every patent metal coffee pot. and looked in vain
for one of porcelain To this Kaffecha. duly con-
suited replies ASK at any housefurnishing store for
brown French cofeepot.s Insist on it. Tell the
msanthrope whose effort will be not to sell it, that
YOU know this its last week. If he goes
dciectedly down amending vista of coffee pots I'M
seen by merely humane ewes. and asks if you
don't mean filter tell him yes. You 90. when
he becomes interested in some new development OF
the ornamental tip of his nose and suggests biggn
reply thaCs Il. You will have Pay no attention to
him, however much he Iattles among the brass ard
Tin. Tell him. as his despair deepens. that your
coffee pot of French pattern. made in France brown
outside white within quite fire. proof with a filter in
are determined. the misanthrope will yield and you
VIII get your coeepO, ier wncn Joy c ne Tbe
Tribune again and give your name and address.
Why, by the way. is crockcry ALWAYS sold BY a
misanthrope. In sam weer's days. You know. they
took to excepting pixies" Now there are no pixies
any more. you shall see them gazing SADLY and dis,
couragingly adown the long vista Of teapots OF all
nations. Is II the straw. think
New device Of the Broadway rabid transit. Varia-
ton on the old Irish game Of potatoes-and point.
Crossing and Cuss. shall call il Cardriver skips
the crossing and the passenger does all the rest with
ladies in the evening quite too lovely. Amusing
very, but once more, gentlemen managers and d
rectors does il pay Accidental, say you On
dear. no; regular system Iravel ana uy lot your
self.
'Rah. As the orator said the other day, Flat
1ustita ct pravalebit" Even the still small para
stands. Read the Pacific Railroad Report and the
"Musical Review" and then, if you can't laugh ana
don't laugh. sir, your taste is not humorous
And do you know the average New-York hanson
has no regular price The driver judges by the look
Of the clothes and the apparent stress OF
his furrowed brow. Then he swoops down on him.
in the words Of the seerageway bills Of the Wander
bt steamers in the old days for all the money nc
had Therefore stand they idle at the stand while
wayfarers fare afoot.