The intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1887-1891, 1890-10-11
BILL SHORTS LETTER.
BY ALEX L. SWEET.

had was once when | found dune
in the pocket of a previous year's vest
Yes, here we are all at Cape MAY
Point, enjoying the cooling breezes and
the newspaper comments on the I'm
propriety of the president accepting the
cottage, and having q nice time gener-
ally, D, yes, we get our cottages u!
most as cheap as Ssncho PanZa did his
Island of Barrataria.
PIOus John started the idea, and the
Cape May property owners were only
too glad TO second the motion. For q
while there as a hitch in the nego-
tialions, and | thought we would spend
the vacation at some Other summer re-
sort. There were three or tour other
seaside resorts bidding for Harrison ss
an attraction One OF them offered
cash bonus. So Harrison said TO Wana
maker: "Business is business. There
is no sentiment about this deal. Ii You
can't afford TO lubricsie me properly,
know of somebody that can. l want
clear deed TO the cottage, and 1t has
got TO he fixed up In style, too"
"Wauny" consulted with the pro-
perty owners, and as Cape May waf
about as dead as q can OF pressed beef, |
,hey rallied aud did the clean thing.
ma much as a can OF condensed milk. !
Iubricate the tianges of my throat with
genuine imported English ale, as often
as thew need il. You and Andy Faulk-
uer, OF the Texas Central, ought TO be
here.
or course you understand that the
president himself Indignantly refused
to accept the cottage. lie said sternly,
i'm my presence, to WanamakeI: "Sir,
have the deed make out in Mrs. liarri-
sons name.' He used the strongest
language in denouncing the transparent
attempt to bribe him.
By the way, Baby Mckee got of a
. good thing few days ago. II seems
he was in the room " hen Harrison and
..Wanny" were making out list OF
: the generous donors and what ofticia;
7, rev ards they were 10 get. Alter
. "Wanuy" was gone Baby Mckee said
: to Harrison.
"Graudpa, You know who gave us
4 this cotiageI"
"No, | am sure l do not" replied
y Harrison.
L "Then why did you pinch your eye
~ so much when you were talking with
. Uncle Wannyw
u The little scamp had caught Harrison
and "Wanny" winking at each other
~ That's what he meant by "pi"ching'
70 his eye. 49,.
,e AT night sleep the sleep of the jus
- on u rosewood bed contributed by
man whose daughter istO be showed IN
the treasury department as clerk.
?, don't know what the man who cup
~ ~ rJlied the bed clothes expects, but th
70 party who furnished the wash basi
~ ~ and the rest of the crockery is going +
:. :. be put on the pension list as q wa
> veteran with back pay. .,....
:, | verify believe, Dan, that the onl
- thing in this whole cottage that is nc
a., tainted with fraud is my tooth brush
In I paid for it with my own money. hor
m =" estly earned by playing poker with
r member of the Texas delegation. A
y breakfast | sit Oh . donated chair, all
.' drink coffee out of contributed cul
a and grease my toast with butter wit
j" which Harrison himteif has been lubr
:, Gated. Funny, isn't 1t? lri -, ..
!" This Harrison family reminds me
= a family in Texas that was an object
,ho compassion to the neighbors. Wh'
~ the big, lazy sou came home at mig
sss and the supper was spread, he won
We look around and say whiningly:
nd 'MOtner uedT, ls tuio OH tuO hoiS
r.. bors have sent Hs tO-dayF'
Of There is another side to this pictul
,n u nv dear Dan. II you will take q
mi advice, when you get to be preside
nd you will buy your own cottages. Tha
the the way Pun going to do. ..r.
w VIZ 1 don't know when have felt
nn. cheap as | did yesterday. | was {
o OIL riding with Harrison with the hO
o o anu buggy a Cape May livery stal
NV man, coarse vulgar brute, cOntribui
ach TO Mrs Harrison. AS we drove y
w the stable he motioned TO Harrison
on halt, and accompanied by several hs
of looking citizens. he came up to
hu horse, opened his mouth, and show
,,oI them the ANIMALS teeth. Then wit
q of kind OF Botany Bay gentility he moti'
;no, ed 10 Harrison to drive Oh. just ms
M up nv mind then and there not To ri
wi out with the president of the Uni
em. States any more
,,ao Day before yesterday caught
.nar slabsided galoot milking our Alder
acss COW. was lifting him over the fe
when he made me understand that
The was milking his own COW. ...-
NJ Yesterday l kicked q sallow Ia
ID yawk of boy all the way to the ir
,;as gale before he could explain that
The was going to represent the Uni
,,Ia States at the Court Of st. James
'rn, consequence of his uncle, who keel
The flour and feed store, having cOntribu
rae oats and hay for the livery stable mi
! no contribution. ......-....
Ions ma Since that I've quit showing pee
NJ out through the front gate. L b
,,na made all the fool of mvself that
and going to. 1t while Im eating
The breakfast perfect stranger comes
mot and tries to pull piece OF parti
hJ;c chewed bacon ont my mouth Pm &c
nth to tell him to take it and 20.
tho knew that the property owner
un,n Cape May had Clipped in TO buy
non rison, but didn't suppose the gamb
mn ct ais, had finger in the pie, too;
they had. found that out a u
do while ago. There was ring at
",, front door bell. | went 10 the d
9, ,;oe and was confronted by q stunI
I'D looking female. She had gilt edge !
,,;nn and such O. loud dress that II IN
,b;s have been heard over in Philadelp
amn, 80 vociferous was her costume.
,th "How the iolks2" she asks.
w. W. "What folksr' inquired, thin
70 tho she had come TO the wrong house.
eedeu ,, arllSon au = us 80 s,nnose
the VINO the ueVll uo YOU suPPoso
me, talking aboutF'
81 dou't think the president AM
av mr. family can see you."
r., "I'm sorry to hear they have got
I've. eyes. What's the reason l can't
nted them. theu?'
q we "One reason is they don't care 4
ni,oI you"
no of 81 suppose they are putting on
q seni Well. Clipped in with the rest to
With this cottage. aud SO did Gus. ii
,eysr my card. Dolly Dimple, song
-, dance artIste.' Pm the only pr
In, artistic in America who can tu
iaa;s' back summersault and never III
note while singing little !
This Rooney
,isaaI "Aud here are some tcomps' to
matinee. Bring the old man arc
and if he likes q quiet game OF y
Gus will show him the kitt.. Fun 1
from the ground up. 1t WAS my
Vs, to call first, as Mrs. Harrison ha
moved into the :IeighbOrhOOd. Oi
needn't stare st me you old sinner
longl' and off she went
I verily helipva the Harris0ns