Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1890-02-08
AN uNwELcoME oIIr r.
Trials of . Young Man Who Was Made he
Recipient OF silk Hat.


"Did you ever have q friend give yon
. silk hate" asked morose young man
at the club. mo? Well, don't. II one
of your round-town friends tries TO pull
you into hat store and load one onto
you, break away and shun him like the
pestilence. speak from aerid expert
ence. Listen 70 my tale Of woe. One OF
my big-hearted acquaintanees short
time ago bought me an eight-dollar silk
deer. thought IL real clever Of him
and was grateful. He looked at me so
proudly as we walked down the street
that my heart kind Of warmed TO him.
But when we got In a crowd OF fellows
little while after and the boys spoke of
the new tile and congratulated me on its
looks the donor chipped in:
"'By the way, whenever buy q man
his first silk hat | always give him one
tip. This is 1t: Whenever you take
your hat OF aud hold IL or lay II down
be sure that the trade mark on the In
side Is exhibited. WHAT'S the use OF
having the best IL you don't let people
know it?'
''Of course every body In the crowd
knew then that he had given me this
hat. The next day I ran against him
on the street. lie stopped me.
my boy he said, with fatherly
solicitude, wearing the new hat |
bought you on cloudy day like this?
You oughtn't TO do it. Sure to rain be-
fore night. Wear derby on rainy
days
''He hustled along, and the country
cousin had with me asked me IL | was
OF age.
"My benevolent friend came into my
office in the afternoon. There we're sew
eral other people present, but as soon as
his eye rested on the plug hung up be-
side the door he said:
Don't you know better'n TO hang
| that new hat up where the doorH get
slammed back against IL and make an
accordion OF it? II you don't take de-
cent care OF it, I'll never buy you an.
other, neverv
''lIe wanted me to 20 down tho street
4 with him, and l went On the way
1 passed several acquaintances with
ladies, and lifted my hat.
"'You'll wear that hat out in a week
y
Amt necessary, any way; just give thu
military salute; touch the hat with :
sort OF courtly wave of the hand. See
Otherwise you'll have the rim all linn
bered up and shabbyv
II began to get tired of this, but
stood it meelily as became q man wh'
had been benefited. That same even
ing | went to the theater, and as cam
out between the acts and stood in tn
lobby talking with group of friends a
comes my man and says:
~ notice you put that hat under tn
seat. Mustn't do 1t. Folks kicl
through from behind and muss 1t up.
don't want TO have To buy you anothe
enc right away, you know. Hold 1t o
your lap
'0f course this apprised every bod,
that he was my hat patron. Since tina
time he has held me up half a doze
times-always before a crowd OF friend
and said something about the hai
Once 1t was kick on my tie; 1t dldn
go we'll with the hat, he said. Anothe
time | inadvertently tilted IL back o
my head, and was corrected for tina
Then he noticed that 1t was little rn
fed and told me to send IL down an
have IL ironed. 1t wouldn't cost an
! thing. he said, IL | mentioned his name
Finally took the blasted hat home an
! smashed 1t with an Indian club. II
wearing a crusher, nov, you'll notic'
! Before I'D wear another silk hat
, somebody else's buying would tie m
) head up in a red bandana- That coca
Chicago Mail.