The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1890-04-30
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Extracts from the Treasury-Ten-dollal
notes
Cold in the chest-When your ice-boS
is flled-Boston Bulletin.
Sheer nonsense-Trying to cut your
own hair-.St. Louis Magazine.
The King OF Siam has an umbrella
worth $4,000. 1t has never been out in
the reign.
circumstances alter cases" with some
people, but with the lawyer cases alter
circumstances.
There is no accounting for taste except
on the principle that some people haven't
any.-Boston Post.
Honesty is doubtless the best policy,
but it seems to have expired long ago
Laurence american.
Time will tell, but the ordinary man
with an important secret won't give time
a chance. Somer0ille Journal.
Poet-'Here is little sonnet which ]
should like to get printed" Editor
"The job printing office is next door,
sir."-Racket.
s'Did you hear of that duel between
those two medical students" "No.
Pistols or swords" "Neither. They
practiced on each other. "-Racket.
Mrs. Linden-"But your milk never
Yields particle of cream" Milkman--
"Ah, muml The cream is so thick 1t
falls TO the bottom. ."-Htrgdrd Lampoon.
How many men each day you'll see
OF such there is no dearth-
Whose only mission seems TO be
To take up room ON earth.
Washington Post.
Something strange about this, " unused
the growing society youth; "rhis dress
suit grows smaller every year, and yet,
whenever l take it out l find it in
creases."
sThat's one of your patent fire es-
capes," as the man said when six of the
ordinary matches of to-day went out be-
fore he could light his cigar. .--Nerehdnt
TrdCeler.
Miss Amity Bleecker-"Tm sure ]
can't see why women should Try to make
a mystery of their age" Mrs. Edgerly-
''Nor /; especially when it's out of Their
! power. ."-Pucb.
my dear child, what arc you crying
so for?" "Oh, dear! My father has
gone and lost me, and | know my mother
will scold him so when he gets home. -
/ Fliegeade BLaetter.
Bronson-'sWhat was the cause OF
your breaking your engagement with
Miss Barnes2 Heart failure" De Sap
! pington-'No, not quite that. 1t was
her fathers failure. Life.
Bobby-'I say, Mr.. Brill, what do
YOU suppose Clara said about you" Mr..
Brill-'I haven't an idea'in the world. !"
Bobby amazed d)-"Why, how on earth
did you guess her very wordsl"-Chat
ter.
Mrs. Gazzam-''Who was that gentle
man who sat in our pew to-day l heard
him tell you that he didn't like short
meter hymns" Gazzam-''That was
Mr. Lux, the President of the gas com
pany."-Lye.
Pompous Party-"So you are the eX-
change editor, young man. Nautically
speaking, you are clipper Searnclle-
"No. 'Inasmuch as ] ply the scissors
for living, l am a revenue cutter. -
Pitts5urg Bulletin.
A man was to be hanged, and was on
the scafTold with the Sheriff and the par
son. The Sheriff said to the prisoner,
''You might be seated "No, thank
you, replied the prisoner, ~ can't stay
long. ."-SiouE city Journal.
The deepest of gloom overshadows the sky
of the far-seeing youth who in sorrow has
found
On counting the "compny" and pieces of pie,
That there isn't enough of the last 10 sc
round.
Chicago Herald.
Ardent Swain 60 object of his aifec-
tion)-'For several weeks past I've been
trying to speak to you, Fraulein Rosa,
but you never give me the chance OF
putting in a word l therefore gladly
avail myself OF your temporary hoarse-
ness to make you an offer OF marriageV y
-Fliegeade Biaetter.