Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1890-01-30
HEhE AND tn ERE.

one. II denotes character.
The utlook ia good fur plenty Of kics.
ing in the football association.
Iii girl has got tho rocks it does not
require much sand in fellow to clone
with her.
birmingham, Eng, employs !, 600 I'M.
btella makers. One o. them claims to
have invented q transparent umbrella
that will allow the bearer TO see what he
or she is about to run into, az well ma
what is about TO run into him or her.
Mamma Well, Willie, what good q.
solve are you going to make for the new
year2 Willie-I wont fight with JOHNNY
any more. Mamma--Pm very glad nv
little son sees how wrong and sinful it il
to fight. Willie-Yea'm, He always licks
me.-Munstg's Weekly.
Enraged father--'Well, that's the Last
time FL ever be fool enough to give apv
of my daughters wedding CHECK, !
Mother-"Why, Charles There's moth.
ing wrong, l hope.n Enraged father
Eyes. but there is. That fool Of a sop.
in-lsw has Como and had II cashed,n-
Judge.
Ada--Lulu was divorced to-day. Belle
--Wellf Ada-Well, hor husband, who
loves her devotedly, shaved off his beard,
dyed his hair, put on FOREIGN clothes,
painted his face yellow and got intro.
duced to her rs the Cuban consul" Belle
-Well7 Ada--She married him at sight.
- Epoch.
Customer sell cracked eggs n,
half price, do you not ~ Clerk--"Yeb'm.
We always make 90 per cent reduction
On cracked goods. Anything elss
to,dayp" Customer-"Yes. You may
give me q dollars worth Of cracked
wheat, and here's your fifty oents."--
Erchange.
MIR. MacDntf-You'y been over an
hour dressing, and you said IL wouldn't
take You over 20 minutes. Mrs. MacDnf
Now don't say word / thought
should never get into this new gown. Mr..
MaeDuf Well, judging from appear
ances. you have not more than half sue.
ceeded. 80 Time.
Not TO be Pot Down. .See, nv son.
how well this trained dog can calculate;
and yet you bring me very bad report
rs TO your sri 'hmetic. Aren't Won
ashamed 2" IAN very we'll, father, but
you Just ask him ons question in
geography and see what he krows,"-
FRsgends Batter.
Transportation me, madam, for this
intrusion, bnt owing to severe and IN.
par tlleled financial reVerses, am com
PEELED to ask Of yon il you will have the
kindness to supply me with something to
sustain the vital spark. Woman-Tm
sorry, but there isn't bean in the house.
--1erre Haute FEpress.
Wife (whose husband had explained to
heE the mysteries OF poker)-It seems
very simple. / suppos one can play il
as well as another, Husband-No, there
Is great difference in players. There's
the man who can play poker, and there's
the man who thi ks he can. The latter
10 tho one who has TO write check
Ep0ch.
Prisoner-I don't care to explain, Your
Honor, what the cause or causes, was or
were, which led me to become so, as YOU
express it, hnpelessly intoxicated. I'm
very pon-conlmittal man. His Honor
Well, am not non. committal man.
Thirty days and sic, and Won are to
stand committed until the fne is paid
Epscl.
Rural Conservatism Boarder-
Well, Mr.. Bascom, what's the weather
going 20 be to-day? Farmer Bascom--I
haven't any idea, Mr.. smith. Oity
Boarder-But you've got the morning
| paper in your hand. Farmer Bascom--
Oh, that's no account Wait till | 90
and get the almanac. -BurliaStoaa Fges
| Press.
On Dangerous Ground-"I must be
very careful and mot 60 too far with Mr..
Longfel ow; it may lead to disaster, u
said Carrie, haif-musing to herself.
why aOs" said Annie; nhas he pro
posed y ''Oh, no; he merely asked me
| II | thought l could get along with two
dresses q year. "-dmerican Commercial
| Irdgeller.
u recall, =" said DR.. Lyman Abbott al
the New England dinner here, San old
cartoon in the Hdrvard Lamp00n, which
| depicted two ladies looking at mile
stone near Boston, which was marked
i m. from Boston, One Of the ladies'
remarked to her companion, What a
\ noble epitaph-"f'm from Boston, n,n-
PhliGaeEphis Rtco,G.
I Jlgga-l hear that you have started ia
business With Boggs2 Biggs-Yes. We
are equal partners-he puts in the money
and Put 10 my experience and brains.
Jiggs-f ou put in the experience and
brains? BiSgs = Yes. Jiggs And you
are equal partnersp Biggs-Yea. Jigea
WHAT an Immense amount OF experience
you must have had, Blggs-Lite.
The word "bngus' is Of southsrn ori-
gin. William A Bogus was Georgia
land lottery commissioner, years ago.
caught in rsscality ia connection with his
DI1lrn u Irn M
land rights. Il was curious that this OBJ.
scufe Georgia scamp should have fur
nished our vernaeular with genuine
name Tor everything spuricus and false.
farm md Fdrmsi7s.
How Not to Do It.-Mr. Millionaire
My dear, here is my pocketbook. and
wish you would take care OF il until ges
back. am going out this evening and /
prefer not to have any valuables with me.
Mrs. Mllltonaire--Mercy Are you going
into o dangerous neighborhood MIR.
Millionairs-- Oh, no: | am going to
eitlzens meeting in aid of the Worldb
FaiF.-Nso York Weekly.
Some New Songs--I Must Leave Thee,
Annie Darling-by the author Of 'tPapa's
Footsteps" The Telegraph Lineman-
by the author OF you'll be an Angel by
and by All on Account OF the Guv'nsl
by the author OF when Sulliysn's
Oolors are Down" De Cullud Folks nez'
Door--by the author OF "The Lost
Chord" The Truck Driyer--by the
author of Listen TO Ny Tale of Whoa"
Time.
Customer Gin drug store) Give me-
about ten grains of quinine in four
ounces OF whisky. My physician says il
don't take plenty OF qlinina Pm dead
man. Olerk-SorrY. hlr. hnt pra,-a all