San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1890-11-12

man would nave been. FOR II seemed
to her as if here, during these weeks,
was the short divine summer of her life;
what could she do-who had known till
now so little of Gods sunshine-what
could she do but take it when it was
offered her, and not only offered but
pressed upon her, by the hands that had
become dearest to her in the world?
Like many another Undetermined wo-
man, she could not believe, except at
rare moments, that such love as Guy
DunStan might have begun to feel for
her could be an affection that it would
cost him very much to resign: he cared
for her-yes, she knew that, but he
cared for her, she thought, as he might
have done for other women before he
knew her-as he might care for other
women when she should have passed
out of his sight; he was too strong-too
much in earnest in all he did-to love
her lightly; but also he was not man
to let love for any woman living spoil
his life. 1t was too full life for that
too healthy, too masculine, she said.
But she was only woman, and out of
this rough, but yet strong and tender
nature. she had already made her hero
her idol, to love with the one COM
plete love of her whole heart.
Nor did she ever during these weeks
wish for one hour or one moment that
it had been otherwise. Sometimes she
tried to wish that he on his part had
not cared for her, but she never wished
that she could love him less. 1t seemed
to her as if in loving him she had reach
ed the one glory of her life-redeemed
its Observation-Disclosures her one hill,
and lighted her solitary beacon on the
top of it. All the rest of her life since
she had been woman had been so tied
down to the lowest earth, trampled on,
degraded, encountered with Sordid
trouble; and now out of the midst of
the miserable embrOglio this one light
had sprung up. 1t had become her star
in the darkness-her morsel of heaven
the one handful of the divine that
God had let her grasp.
She knew that she could not marry
him. and with passionate sorrow that
overwhelmed her sometimes she used
to look forward to the coming of the
time when he should know her secret
and would not lCiSh her to marry him;
and it used to seem to her that she must
90 away then, out of his sight forever,
enough to where he was to see the
change in him; and always, though
every hour she spent with lnm as time
went on, almost her first thought came
to be the thought of how, without tell
ing the truth to him. she could make
him understand that there could be no
pledge between them-hOw she could
best make him feel that she must re-
fuse him if he ever spoke to her, and so
keep him silent, and keep the power Of
silence to herself, too: so that (She
thought perhaps there might come to
be never any need at all for the break
ing off of all this blessing; but when
she had once left his house, his love for
her, convinced that it was useless,
might only gradually grow little less,
till it settled into quiet tenderness
that should stay with her till she died.
She could bear this, she thought: she
could almost bear presently, she used
to think, even to sit alone and see an
other woman make him happy, if she
could feel las surely he could make her
feel, without any spoken words at ally
that in one, let it be but the remOteSt,
corner of his heart, he remained faith
ful,-as he might have done if she had
died-tO the memory of the woman
whom he would have married if he
could.
She used to think all this, and plan
how it might come to be; but in reality
it never came to be as she had tancled
that it might. His will was stronger
than hers, and she could not control it,
nor bend it in her own way.
One day he was angry with her, be-
|. r. 20 &C II ,.p
quest that she would stay with them,
she had gone to Mrs. COulsOn, and fixed
her return there for the Sd of January.
There is no more reason for your
going to-day" he told her. what in
the world has made you choose that
time?'
Because 1 said that would stay till
the new year, and never meant to stay
any longer" she answered. The I'd
of January is Sunday, so L cannot go
then"
'Or else you would, l SUPPOSED" he
said
"Yes-if itwere weekday would"
she replied.
And then, for he was vexed with her,
and asked no other question, there was
little silence, till she gained courage
enough to say something else.
They were in the drawing-rOOm to-
gether, waiting for the others to join
them before dinner. She said with an
effort after minutes silence
"Why are you angry with me? Is it
so hard to understand why go? You
know how unwilling was to come at
first, and why was unwilling; the fact
that you have all made me so happy
does not in the least make me any more
fit to be with you now than was then.
AS long as | am-what you know me to
be, and what shall remain all my life
i am only fit to live alone. L have
Welded to q great temptatiOn for these