Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1890-09-29
copyright by Edgar W. Nye.l


Anxious Inquirer" of West Postel-
waites Crossing, this state writes to
know authoritatively the several names
and table of distances between the
various wedding anniversaries known
throughout this country, and also the
stationery and etiquette of the elite
which is customary. Anxious Inquirer"
also adds: 1--WE live plainly here in sort
OF hand-to-mouth fashion, but we are
great hands for gayety, and my husband
would just make you die a-laughing when
he gets to cutting up. Wherever he goes
ne is the life of the party call him Lit
tie Sunbeam, though he is quite good
size, and has to havea new gore put into
his walstcoat every year. Whether it is
barn raising or revival care not,
you will always find group of surprised
and delighted admirers hanging about
my Little Sunbeam We thought of
having a tin wedding next season if we
could get an idea of how to go at it, and
quietly swap few glad smiles and big
red apples for milk pans and new tin
roof, mebbe, for the house. He is Just as
poplar as he can be Cthat is, my hus-
band is), and am sure the folks would
come from as far back as East Turner
and Gangrene City. Please tell us all
about it, old man, and thus please one
who reads everything You write and
treasures it for years. inclose a piece
of ribbon for you to write your auto
graph on in indelible ink for our grab
bag. We have also wrote TO Tallamadge
and Mr.. Sullivan to favor us in the same
way. We asked Ingersoll, the lost and
undone combustible of an irate God, to
write sentiment on a piece of silk for our
quilt, and he wrote on it in indelible ink
SOS to Spite the block it was wrote on:
"'Why in the name of that i'll venti-
lated future state toward which | almost
hope that you are Fastening do you ask
me to write my autograph on an old hat
lining? K. q. INGERsoLL.'
THE silk had been, admit, the lining
to Little Sunbeam's hat that he was
married in, but | declare | didn't think
that man with as few privileges rs In
gersoll has had would ever drop on it."
Marriage anniversaries are ignored by
some people, while others regard them
with awe and admiration. 1t is well
enough to observe them, especially if
you feel that you are poplar" with the
masses, and can get good return for
each COB of cake that is ground into your
ingram carpet.
After you and Little Sunbeam had
been successfully welded for one year
you were entitled to a cotton or safety
pin wedding You could avail your
selves of the anniversary to barter pop
corn for muslin if you had so decided.
| do not know that it pays. His Royal
Altitoodleum the Prince of Wales told
me last summer in burst of confidence,
as we strolled ont to the barn after the
marriage of his daughter, that his cot
ton wedding was really a loss to him.
Folks, he said, that had means, and had
credit at the store for all the sheeting
and spreads and such stuff that they had
a mind to buy, came to his house on that
occasion, deposited in the royal archives
a penny wipe or a cheese cloth portiere
and then gorged themselves on the grub
of the Guelphs till the cows came home,
as he expressed it.
After two years comes the leather
wedding, and in five years from the
nuptials comes the wooden wedding. A
clergyman friend of mine had wooden
wedding in all sincerity and honesty of
purpose. Donations had taught him not
to hope for anything more than kind ex-
pressions and some new samples of hair
oil on his wall paper, but he loved his
congregation, and liked to show as far
as possible that even if he did feel a lit
tie more secure for the future than they
did, he was not disposed to refer to
it any more than necessary. He was
good man, and he earned his salary just
as faithfully as he would if he had got it.
Well, he had wooden wedding, and
his wife reversed the skirt of her black
dress and put in new waist and sleeves
for the occasion, and cooked up whole
lot of wholesome victuals and bought
some Chinese lanterns with the money
her folks had sent her to buy other things