Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-05-04
ATE HIS OWN WORDS.
Col. Knox Explains Why lie Left His
Editorial Sit in the West.
MAD SHERIFF WITH A BOWIE
Prevailed Upon Him to Chew Up and swal.
low Column Article.
OTHER AGGRATATING OCCURRENCES.
WRITTEN FOR THE DISPATCH.

story room wearing out their brains IN enort
to mold public opinion, 1 thought what
uneventful lives are theirs, and what little
fun they have compared to what 1 used to
enjoy out In the breezy West, in that time
long gone, when tried to work on mort
gage on a weekly newspaper.
When started in my erratic editorial
career, I didn't know proof sheet from q
boovolopus nor a Gordon press from a
horned iimplIcute. But had great faith
in nv ability to DO almost anything from
riding a bucking broncho to writing an
essay on ''The Origin of Man." was, in
deed, quite popular with myself / had
also some success in persuading other people
TO trust in me, as you may we'll suppose
when 1 tell you that after had run the
paper for three years the man who had the
lien on tie concern said that was one of
the most promising youthlets be had ever
met, and that ii lived long enough he
thought would be able eventually to lit
the mortgage about a foot. 1 met success,
but, as usual, success was going the other
way. What 1 wanted was success that was
going my way and that 1 could overtake-
however, am getting off the track.
WHERE THE DIFFERENCE LIES.
To resume, what wanted to tell you was
about the difference between the life of the
New York Journalist and that of the frontier
newspaper man. The New York journalist
sleeps in Harlem or New Jersey, and
lunches at the Astor House or some such
restaurant, where he climbs upon high
stool, eats CLANS and floods his inner works
with slate colored coffee. If he buys stim-
ulauts or cigars, he is usually asked to pay
for them himself This is an outrage un-
- f1,av fhaN NaS+
There is no "old subscriber" to come into
his office, with the perfume of new-mown
hay hanging around him still, " and pour a
bushei of prize apples at the foot of the edl-
torial tripod; no candidate for constable
or pound master to rush into his sanctum
and pleasantly interrupt hiS toll by plant
ing a demiio on his blotting pad. Neither
is there anyone who feels it his duty to come
in, accompanied by q gun, and vary the
monotony of ms daily labors.
When l started my paper out in Texas
had associated with me a partner who, to
this day, says that on the following weeks
after the first five issues OF the paper had
TO make an average OF six abject apologies
a week. The first week received the fol-
lowing letter:
You know me and my capabilities. Do you
think 1 would be justified in running for the
Texas Legislature? Enclose stamp for answer
Yours, John P. Simmons.
Instead OF answering the man by mail, 1,
feeling in a facetious mood, published his
letter and under it the following reply:
ADVICE FOR THE CANDIDATE.
You might be justified in running for the
Legislature if you feel that you have not brains
enough to teach in country school, or if you
lack the physical ability to handle hoe. but
We doubt whether even these circumstances
@1,p Nhara 1.orYc
and asylums in the State, and imbeciles taking
the advantage of their charity are well cared
for.
Two davs afterward 1 received letter
from Mr.. John P. Simmons, laconically
stating that he would be on hand the next
morning at 10 o'clock. on which occasion it
was his purpose to fill the man who an
swered his letter full of holes. My partner,
aided and abetted by the whole Iorce of the
composing room, press room and business
ofice-which consisted of a man by the
name of Primus Tucker-anticipating the
event, made an artistic arrangement around
my desk of guns, knives, scythes and other
murderous weapons. AT the appointed
time. tall and Withholding man appeared
at the door, and without entering said:
''Did you git my letter."
No one answered, as no one wished to ac-
knowledge the receipt of the letter and by
SO doing die before lunch.
''I say, don't you know that I said that
I'd be here %
No one spoke.
THE USUAL GRIND WENT ON.
worked away at an article on 1.-THE Re
ligious Condition of Europe" although
knew that my time had come. My partner
kept on melting the pied type from the hell
box in a crucible from which every Wednes-
=, -l,-e Of hrpl lla+e
and Primus Tucker was absorbed at his
desk in making out the revised statement of
our liabilities-we had no assets.
"Are you all dumb?" said the man at the
door.
No one spoke.
The rival editor, with whom Primus
Tucker aiterward went into partnership,
published the statement that, at this point
I crawled behind barrel of printers ink.
As we only used two pounds of ink a wear 1
never considered it necessary to vindicate
myself on this point.
Didn't you get my letter sayin' was
comin'?'' said the Nemesis, as be. advanced
one step into the room.
No one spoke.
Everything was so quiet you could have
head a thunder clap. Just then my part
ner, who had been siding toward a window,
dropped out OF that orifce into the alley,
and skipped down the street bag and bag
gage, hook, line and sinker, foot horse and
artillery, and ran a thousand yards to the
back the Baptist church faster than a
man could fall from balloon.
But nobody spoke.
HORSE OF ANOTHER COLOR.
''See herel Goldern the thing, L writ YOU
that was comm down from Pecos county
to arrange to be your agent there, and to
take subscriptions includin' premiums, and
/ want to know didn't you git no letter
from me or are yoa jist lot of ID
fools?"
Primus Tucker and I spoke.
We said: "Colonel, pardon us We were
busy, we thought you were somebodv else
Come out with us and take something while
we arrange our business"
Now it was always scare like that which
/ aot; sometimes the really injured party
called. When 1 wrote of our most nromi.
nent desperate as having recently had "a
parenthesis Of sobriety," he called earIv-
He called early and he stayed long. When
he left the forms were pied. there were sew
eral bullet holes in the pine dry goods box
that used as an escritoire, the I've, ink and
paste were scattered around in a wav that
would have destroyed our ingram carpet,
but fortunately we didn't have one. Yes,
when he lett there was nothing but chaos
and bullet marks to show where be had
been. The Office was empty and 1 was sit
ting behind rock three miles up the gulch.
But those were pleasant times and there
was always something 10 vary the monotony.
Ii it wasn't shot in the leg for calling my
cotemporary ''the subsidized organ of
political clique" 1t was "Old Subscriber"
',Vindex" or ''Ta1payer," coming to subsi-
die us TO announce him Tor County Judge,
by presenting us with leg Of veal.
HAD ITS LITTLE DRAwBAcKs.