Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1890-06-21
WHEN AND WHOM 10 nARRY.
Rules that Have been Tried and Seldom
Found Wanting.

Rules that Have been Tried and Seldom
Found Wanting.
From the Boston ODE
Whom to marry and when to marry ar
grave questions that confront many peopl
who have not vet come to feel that mar
riage is lottery.
Hence arise questions like the follow
ing:
| l. How can tell when I love?
2. Can l afford to marry, if poor?
| 3. What sort of aperson will be happ,
with?
| 4. Will always be loved?
| 5. Will always love?
| 3. Will | ever see somebody whom vii
love more?
Z: Shall l marry young or shall l wal
until l am mature?
s. Shall a man marry a widow
9. Shall a girl marry widower?
| 10. Is 1t always well to marry if on,
loves?
IL. Is there love at first sight?
II. What is love at first sight?
And many others.
Ie who are married can best answer
many of these questions. Only one who
has made experiments in marriage in al
Its phases could singly answer all of them
| And not unlikely the result of such ex
pertinent would prove anything but edi
flying.
am, therefore, prepared only to give
the result of my own venture in the mat
rimonial boat as partial guide, complet.
ing the latter by giving the results o,
other mems and many women's ventures
or marriages.
Probably the first approach of that ten
der feeling known as love is felt when at
school red cheek seems to the average
boy lovely as peach,- and he respects the
possessor for her gift. Maybe a big blue
eye strikes him as prettier than any he
has seen in the picture book mother
bought him for Christmas present, and
he wishes that he might have this living
picture book near by to look at when he
chooses.
Now, she with the red cheek or she
with the big blue eye may see across the
aisle in the little school-room bright
little fellow whose clothes fit as nicely
and look as pretty as those Oh the doll she
takes delight in fondling at home.
For doll is the first object outside the
Immediate household for which your little
daughter shows any liking. The doll is
her beau ideal. To win her favor one
must conform to that model.
Its shape, the color of its hair and eyes,
its clothing, speak to her language mystic
and full of meaning. To her it is the
symbol of mothers care, first love, wifely
devotion, and perhaps the incentive of
those sweet batteries that in after years
may turn some poor fellows head.
The influence of the doll is never lost;
it survives through life Behind it all is
the desire of possessing something to re-
spond to the feelings, and rather than not
have anything we too frequently take
what does not satisfy our desires.
And as our impressions of what we need
are true or false, so will possessions bring
joy or sorrow, and when the question
comes to us, whom and when shall we
marry? we should inquire into our needs
and ascertain Just what sort of partner
will supply our needs.
The question should never resolve itself
into whether blonde should marry blonde,
whether brunette should marry brunette.
or whether partners should be of different
complexion. An investigation on the COM
plexion hypothesis might prove entertain
ing, but would, l fear, bring us back to
where we started. But to my answers:
l. You are in love when you absolutely
need the object of your affection.
2 A poor person can afford to marry if
marriage will increase the possibilities of
escape from poverty.
8. You will be happy with the one whose
tastes, education and moral views are SIM
liar to your own.
4. You will always be loved if you observe
the above rules and do not lose sight of
the fact that
Still in mutual sufferance lies
The secret of true living;
Love scarce is love that does not know
The sweetness of forgiving.
5. You always will love if you realize
that obedience to duty is the only medi-
cine for conscience, and that perfect happi-
ness in this world at least is but the
shadow of dream.
6. You will see somebody whom you will
love more when your sense of duty
becomes blunted, which will only happen
in case you have not observed tie first
rule laid down.
Z. Marry young if your nature has de-
veloped fully; if not, wait until your
nature has developed, Rather than
marry when undeveloped, never marry at
ALL
8. Marry widow according to rules
laid down previously.
9. Same as No. s.
10. Always marry if you truly love, bu,
do not confound fancy for infatuation with
the noble passion.
IL and II. There is love at first sight
but it is simply quick and mutual aopre
hension of similarity in tastes, education
and moral views.