Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1890-07-24
EVENING Eonons.
The mosquito will soon show the Amex-
lean people whether hides are free or not.
P6iiddsiDhia Tinscs.

ihlietoh-Why diu you retire ffol
business? Didn't you make expense,
Sinsleton--Yes, just lots OF them. That
the reason retired. Detroit Free Pres
II wonder If Miss De Wigg's teeth 81
her own, said Mrs. Squildig TO her hui
band. YES" replied SquiIdig. d
happen to knoE the dentist she bough
them Of, and he told me she paid cas-
for them. ~ Ereha5tge.
Wife-Why, husband, thought yo
had more sense than to buy q cornei
You know the fellow next door worries n
nearly to death with his. HusbAnd-Oaln
yourself, my dear. That's the one
bought --D6troH Free Press.
Oustomer-These nails 1 bought her
yesterday are in terrible condition
Half OF them are rusty. SnleBmAn I'm
dignantly) We'll, what II they are Rot
don't suppose we can manicure ever,
Pound that SoeR out to you ?--Munssv'
Weekly.
Briggs--It's wonderful, the amount Of
veneration and confidence mans boy
has in his fathers wisdom Braggs-It
Is different with my boy since went to
the ball game with him and had to have
al the points explained 10 me- Tsrrt
Haat6 KIpreSs.
Widower (pathetioally)-Mra. Catohew.
l. love you passionately; can l persuade
you to share my lot Widow tsweetIy)-
Well, no, Mr. TumRnyl Your lot aust
be pretty crowded by this time. rs 1
understand you have buried four wives
there already.-Lo,oeA Nail.
Twenty-Five years ago to-day, - said a
fh'iadelphin paper on the anniversary OF
Appomattox, the doom Of the Oonfed-
efacy was sealed" The Philadelphia
papers can always be depsAdsd upon to
get the news, if you will only give them
time. --Sonerpflle Journal.
There ia one solace left me, at least. "
remarked the old farmer. 'After all NV
boys leave and go mp to the oity, after
the pigs and the cattle die, and every
thing else forsakes me, there is at least
one thing that will stick TO the old farm"
nAnd that is" "The mortgage
Laurence American.
Philanthropist-I see that boys under
70 years cannot buy cigarettes ia this
tsTh. what effect has that on the boys
tnat you haVo observed? Policeman
(Judiciously)-It has the effsct of aging
boys very rapidly. Boys under 10 years
are very rare.-Losoeu Citizen.
Duf-Gruff has made big fortune. 1
heOr. Bluf-Yss. Gruff always was :
ucky dog. Duf-And they to me you've
ione pretty we'll yourself, old man Bluff
,modestly) - Well--yes -so-so. I tell Won
what it is, DUFF, we'll directed, Intelligent
,hort always pays.-S0me,S iile Journal.
A man in village of Holland was
ieen one day painting q heavy black line
IN the gable-end Of his house, and at
aehing to 1t date, say November 18Th,
1857. Asked what he was about. he
aid II am moving my high.wAter mark
Up 20 where the boys can't scratch it out
gain | am sick of their FRANKS. z" fFact. I |
N. Y. ECensn9 Post.
BENEDICT Come right in. old fellov
nu smoke cigar while dress, end T
,in go down town with you. Bachelor
nesitatingly) II don't think your
'lte cares to have me call at your house.
VIII wait at the corner for you. Ben. -
shaw Come right In. She isn't here.
not at home, than3 Ben. -
es, Shes at home; but she's out in the
aok yard talking to nsighbor over the
shoe, aud she wont be in for the next
hree hours. --B0ston Courier.
A cause for grievanoa--'sDlnnisy ez oan
ak as ye've moind to, bat | tell yez
aese Eyetalians ia walking right over us
nu driVin us 70 the wall; who's 40 n all
ne polishin' now?why the Eyeralisns;
no rms oil the conner apple. stends2
ny, the Eyeta iaus; who commits the
'urdets and the wolfe bAtins2 the Eyetal.
ms. They're a-pRVin' our shtratss and
lin our prisons, an it wouldn't shur.
rise me in the lsahst II we ilected an
yetallan alderman in this very ward. ~
if6.
ne HAD no Chance. ia your
rother, who went to Montana, comm,
y asked Gilhooly OF Colonel YarQer.
hose relative left few years $50 Tor
10 west. HE il doing very wsn.n was
10 reply. 81 suppose he has helped 8
sns many desperate character" "Oa
70 contrary, he ~ tho only mgn in that 4
ctcn OF the country who has never
ID anything whatever to do with bspy-
Q criminals" How 10 the world il tha,Yn {
iau bee he is thesAeriff LIE never pgts (
chance 10 hang anybody ~ Teas SIT. >
90. {
Faith ousiAi--nad toothsoke, CHI? +
ell, Sir, wei cure thbt in less than no
ne. fol jUat s.i dawn there, fix your v
ind on something else and imsRtle that i
ur tootheohs has all gone. (Af,sr \
use OF tvh iniuNtsa) There, INIT IL L
me Pa'iens--Y-ycs Faith Guris; /
patient starts to lo--But, ahsn. Q
~ maven. paid ple my charges Five
HAYS, ple0ae! PAtiani-Oh, that's all
;ht. You jndt cit dow there, fix your
ind On something aise sud imagine that z
i've got ypus money. Ia, Ia l--La,oss !
nee 1meyicIa. !
A llan read in paper that the family !
ould always be the scene of laughter
d merriment, and that no meal should
passed in the moody silence that so t
Zen characterizes those occasions. The n
~ struck him so fRvorably that when v
family Wea gathered around the table q
1t evening he said: Nov, this sort o. 2
ing of keeping so mum OF meals has p
to stop. You hear me? You girls, Il
t in an tell stories, an keep up agrse.
10 sort 9 talk, like; an you boys, laugh v
d b. jolly, OF I'll take and dust your q
'kets with grapevine till you can't i,
md. Now beginl" d
The droll sayings of children usually d
'p out in unexpected piacss-in -rn- 81
y-sebools or at religious meelluVg Il
ere man would rather give S5 thau
caught laughing. l am reminded OF VI
IS by an incident witch occurred re. ~
atty in one OF our Maine towns. A suu- :,
y-sohool teacher asked her class: "Who :,
trayed the savi0ur2" The little ones. :,
10 had not been Thoroughly instructed q
theology, failed to answer correctly. =,
laliy little girl guessed "John, Peter, a
al, job" but being assured by the
cher that she had not named the right :.
Ity, added well, then, it must have NJ
an o evelRnd." "That girl's father is AZ
Republican, whispered an astute mem 10
! OF the Bible class who had overheard N
} remark. -LeiOiston Journal. nj
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