New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1890-05-02


the only new thing a man can get In his house that
will not make the rest OF the furniture look shabby.
The bachelor who wrote that paragraph will sing
different tune when he becomes family man.
"ANNIE ROONEY '-REvIsED.
The song that's lately all the rage.
Upon the street and on the stage,
And growing fast to ripe old age,
Is Little Annie Rooney
The newsboys sing IL Oh the street,
Ana almost every man you meet
Is keeping time with prancng feet,
To Little Annie Rooney
Early morning. noon and night.
IT'S sung by all, and seldom right
And whstled In more shocking plight
Twill surely drive Us iooney
IL makes no difference where you 60
Instead OF Annie Laurie' now
The band plays Annie Rooney
She's a chestnut. JOe's' a bore,
May hear them nevermore!
And 60 down in McGintys ship.
While they're on their wedding trip
-Dinghamton Republcss
The present vicar OF Melton Mowbray. England. ha
discontinued venerable custom By an old charter
the vicar Of this parish is authorized to sit in tha
church at specified time and at a specified table ard
collect twopence from every married parishioner and
threepence from every unmarried parisiioner. l!s
also has a similar claim on every drove Of cattls
entering the parish The late vicar enforced these
to let them drop into innocuous desuetude'
The Weight Of words.-Customer--T want 10 get an
Clerk-Yessr Webster or Worcester
Customer Makes no difference. It's the only thing
that will keep my trousers from MISUNDERSTANDING
and Furnisher.
The Boston papers kept busy these spring DAYS
telling their readers what flowers I'm bloom Boston
people consult their papers for such information ius1
as other people consult them for the weather pro.
dctlons.
This is the prevalent style of Joke in the postohca
First Clerk-How is this about Mr. wanamakcr sell.
ing thirteen two-cent stamps for cent and quarer'
second Clcrk-I don't know. lie can I, on o,lure'.
First Clerk-Bnt he does Just the same. Isn't ona
cent and a quarter twcnty-siX cents ha' ha'-t"a'"
ington star
There is sill very good seighins in some parts d
New-IIanpshire.
Mrs. D'Arte-"Thc Anselus.' see. has gone tn
AGrubber-Ahgclusl guess never heard Of him.
what bank was he ini-iBoston Transcript.
Meat Axe. highly cultivated Indian medicine man,
saws that there will be food in July which VIII drown
all the pale faces. But there is reason to believe ha'
the tender Of three straight drinks Of whiskey would
induce the learned savant 70 make more cheer'ni
prediction.
A New.Yorlx editor cannot understand how younr
man whose salary SI2 week can attend the opesS
every night OF the season. PERHAPS his father Is 2
Tamnany Official who saves $4,000 year out OF
salary Of az ,ooO.-(Norrstown Herald.
In his sermons sam Jones frequently threatens 70
stamp the feathers out Of the devil. This IL mys'
ferrous phrase. Does sam think that the devil gows
feathers on his "insides" and he doesn't. what
does he meant
roa Into remptaton-Hc was good mana man
,rbns~ Word nobody doubted-whose integrity and
vcracity were IS good as bond And friend saia
saw you speeding your horse the other day.
Ilc', fine mover'
cot lots of speed
Is IS near as could catch him that DAY he was
MAKING a. go clip
And that horse could not go mile in Eve minutes
and the owner knew IL. and the other man knew u.
end h, was simply batting hook 10 tempt the -oo1
man TO lie And he caught him.-tDetrolt Free Press
In his story in the MAY Harper Edward Ev'
eret Hale neatly scores Boston for IL failure 20 PAT
ronize many hlgh-class entertainments. This Nu-'
ge,ts a scrap of conversation which New York man
recently overheard a Boston >trectcar' ana "hi'h
may be given follows:
First Cultured Ctzcn-Dr. Savants lectures !ust
ended were the intellectual utteranceS OF tho
winter
second Cultured Ctzen-Were they well attendedt
Van t,rcct 7 said they were the most Intellectual
pt,cranccs Of the winter. OF course they were no'
well attended
Ike Weir. the pusilist declares that II he can,
not arrange a light with some one very soon. IN
riu % 70 work. Cannot this impending calamity
he avcrtcdi Give Weir chance 10 wrestc WIN
hungry tiger so that he not be compelled n
dist.race his Observation-Disclosures Herald
Father Benson the head Of the order of cow'ey
Fathers is on his way from England. lie comes. II u
said 10 take away the priests of the order from .
clements Episcopal Church In Philadelphia
why do they call it pin money - said wfey put
ting Il I'm her pocket .,., ,ho,. h,.
W. guess its because wives always suck thclF nus,
hands Tor it, sighed Hubby. and went ont To earn some
MORT Washington star.