Morning journal and courier., 1890-06-09

Diamonds have gone up" eaid Chipp.
IT put mine up six months ago." said Chspp.
-Munsey's Weekly.
Very few girls marry 'the best man."
They generally take the bridegroom fo1 "bet-
ter or worse. e."-Chicago Inter Ocean.
Overdone-Mr. Furrier, what animal is
now being most used for muffs? Farrier
(base ball crank)-Flies just at present.
Boston Herald.
Census Enumerator-Please give me your
name. Attractive Young Womau-Don't
you think it would be better for me to take
yours.-Boston Transcript.
Needless Alarm. - Sentry -Stop Who
goes there! Country woman with large
basket)-You needn't be afraid. I shan't
hurt you.-Bilder Kaiender.
"Purfessor, what's the difference, anyhow,
between fiddle and violins" "Zs same
deeferenz zat egzsest between ze veeddler an
ze violinist." Harper's Bazaar.
Angry customer-The eggs you sold me are
stale. Your placsrd Gays "a lot of fresh
eggs" Grocer-No, it doesn't. It reads ga
fresh lot of eggs" They came in yesterday.
The Epoch.
My son, in courting, make friends with the
mother first, and then you need have no fear
about the daughter. What's thats Suppose
she hasn't any mothers Then by all means
make yourself solid with the girl.-Boston
Transcript.
"My FRIEND" said the elderly, lonesome
looking man, shave you studied the race
question anya" "Have Il" said the young
man addressed. 81 should say go. Didn't I
use to help make up the handicapsa'-Was
ington Post.
Batchell TO happy fasher)-Congratulate
you, old man, on the new arrival. Whom
does he look likea Father remembering the
visitors comments)-He looks like all his
relatives on both sides of the family.-Har
per's Bazaar.
st. Peter-"Well, who is ita" Page-"It's
Peter-"Ah, yes; I've heard of him. But
why do you keep them waiting oatsides"
| Page-"Mr. Jones wants to know If you take
| childreng-Life.
Tramp-Madam, I'm weary and disoour-
| aged; can 60 out in the barn and dies"
Lady of the house-Poor mani I'm sorry
for you, brt you'll have to come some other
| time. We're going to have dance out there
to-nignt.-Hsrper's Bazaar.
Some members of pulpit committees when
! q candidate is returning home are apt to
| make him think he Is sure of CALL But
! that was a more honest one who said, "Good
bye, brother; I'm sorry that am never
likely to see you again. Inquirer.
| They were dancing waltz together, and
he did not dare propose openly. 81 am not
hard to satisfy" he returned in answer to
| soma remark of hers. "I do not want the
earth," swinging her energesically, "bus I
would like to have the whirled. d."-Philsdel-
phia Times.
Mr.. Ksjenes-'Laura, how many times
has that young sneak, Grigson, been to see
| you this week?' Hiss Kajones-' Perhaps
five or six times, father. why's" Mr.. Ka-
| Jones (much excited)-"First thing you
know, Laura, he'll be coming here regular
ly."-Chicago Tribune.
"May take kiss before I go dearssts'
said George as he prepared to depart. "You
may borrow one, George" said the charming
Jennie, "but you must not take Que. for
mother has repeatedly cautioned me against
giving kisses to anyone" So George was
obliged to borrow'"-Dsnver Courier.
young lady living near Lorraine, in Ban
ner county, Neb., wrote to half dozen
prominent ministers in New York and Brook
lyn stating that she was a Christian and was
greatly in need of dresses and was too poor
to buy, and they would confer favor and
prevent want if they would supply the much
needed wearing apparel. She gave the
measurements and directions for making,
and it is reported that one dress has been re-
| csived.-Omaha Bee.