Idaho semi-weekly world. [volume] (Idaho City, Idaho Territory) 1875-1908, 1890-06-20
THEY STAYED AT HOME.
why Mr.. and Mrs. McSwat Were Not at
Church One Sunday Morning.

Why Mr.. and Mrs. McSwat Were Not at
Church One Sunday Morning.
'If you don't hurry up, Lobelia,"
urged Mr.. McSwat, as he fidgeted about
In front of the mirror, trying to find
necktie that would harmonic with his
mustache, well be late to church. l
never could understand" he protested,
accidentally stepping on the cat and
causing howl that raised the nap on
Ais spring (of 1889 overcoat; 81 never
could understand-scat, you yowling
beast!-why it takes woman SO long to
dress. Lobelia, what have you done
with my cuff-buttons? Where the Sam
Hill are those cuff-buttons?"
81 think, Billiger, they are"
"Lobelia, don't try to talk with your
mouth full of hair-pins. Where are the
f-buttons? If you want me to go to
church with you this morning you'll
have to turn up those blooming, idiobic
,uff-buttonst'
"Have you looked in the soiled cuffs
You took off last night Billiger?" in
Iuired Mrs. McSwat, calmly adjusting
her frizzes.
Billiger had not. He hunted up the
iuffs and found the buttons.
''If you knew they were there why
iidn't you say SOP" he demanded, in an
Injured tone, as he sat down hard on a
,hair and proceeded to put in the but
tons, telescope the cuffs on his shirt
,leeves, and slide them back and forth
till the focus seemed to be about right
Il shall be ready for church. Mrs. Nc
Swat, he continued, nuajestically, sin
] lhnnt mi How 1oncr 10
intend TO keep me waiting?"
81 have nothing to do, Billiger," an
Iwered Mrs. McSwat, giving few fin
shing dabs to her front hair, Except to
put on my bonnet and gloves"
well, where's the bennett" vocifer-
tied her husband, as he jumped up
Ierked on his coat, smoothed his silk
aat, secured his cane, gloves and over
;oat, and sat down again. ''Trot out the
Miraculous bonnet, Lobelia. l haven't
leen it yet. Where is it?"
Il brought it down a few minutes
ago. replied Mrs. McSwat, who was
cooking about with evident anxiety,
and laid it down here, but | don't see
It. / thought l put it on a chair"
"On-on chair, Lobelia?" echoed
Mr.. McSwat feebly, a dreadful sus-
,icion crossing his mind.
Yes. Can it be-why, Billiger, you
urely wouldn't-O, 0, Or she screamed.
See what you have doner'
For Billiger had risen to his feet and
vas looking in silence at the chair on
which he had been sitting.
There, on the seat, were the crushed
'emains of once glorious bonnet. 1t
vas fattened, shapeless mass, even
more hideous in its ruin than it had
'een in its original grandeur.
'Lobelia,' said Mr.. McSwat, in a deem,
nelo-dramatic voice, sit is fallen. we
aay now pause before this splendid
PRODIGY"
How could you, o, how could you do
t, Billiger?' She walled, sinking hope
essly on another chair.
Il didn't recognize it as the bonnet.
Lobelia,' he replied penitently. 81 saw
7, but supposed it to be a bunch of col
red tissue paper or crumpled tidy, or
mesh towel, or something OF that kind.
AN you fix 1t up again somehow" he
inquired anXlously Cant it BEER
inflated again or mashed together the
'ther way SO you can make it do?"
Mrs. McSwat looked witheringlv at
Ter crest-falleu husband, stalked out Of
he room without word, and nobody
rom the McSwat household went To
erYlce anywhere on that Sabbath
hiesgo Tribune
What is the trouble between va,
and your husbasd?1 "He makes m
p Jealous OF certain ladies'" I'm wha
] way2' He mentions having met then
e when wasn't with him" .'Poobl the
are not the ones to be afraid OF" "Whc
t then?' Those whom he hasn't men
: loned. 'IChieago Times
3 Miss slyppe--''Mr. Penfeather is 5
. easily embarrassed, don't you think?
e asked him yesterday to tell. me nus
e "hat he really thought of me and IA
+ vas so taken by surprise that he couldn
4 say word. Mss Flyppe-" That wa
= not embarrassment, it was meraiv -,
likeness, "-'rerre Haute Express.