The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-01-12
BRIGHT BITS.

NEVER MIND Il you do write 50. You can
easily make It right By turning the apOs-TOphe
INFO a Il ure !, a-d adding a cipher.-Net1 York
Irio me
\ GENEALoGIsT has discovered that NcGinty is
a ilncal d scendant of the famous Thorwald
MacIuata, VINO discovered Boston in 100
Aer York u ord.
SUToR Il love your youngest daughter
sir.
Pater-Umph. Isuppose you've heard that 1
have settled a dowry on my eldest dau- hter:
SuItor-ln that case, sir, love her.-Ep ca
You've SErFAsT-Had a veal adventure the
otner day, Miss Sharpleigh. Went fishing and
a gweat bwute of a farm dog made me stay
with him thwee hours.
Miss Slarpleigh-Poor old doggie!-Drake's
Magazine.
A SENSIBLE PARADox-Did you make any
New ar 5 resolutions. old man:
Yes l did "
What re rheyg'
Il resolved not to make any New Years
resolutions '-SomeYCtus Journal
CAMPAIGSIye MAMMA Ito confidential friend of
Mr. q. )-Really. dir. Greenbacks is one of the
most cultivated men 1 ever sew.
G. +. desiring to p.easel-Yes and honestly
believe yolr daughter Eva is succeeding at it
better THAN any Of the rest.-MeBaDhts ira
Idnche.
Miss CHEsTNUT-Is it true that your marriage
VITA Mr.. Gallo Will has been indefinitely post
poneds
Miss Walnut-o. no. not indefinitely. Poor,
dear tldo, you know. was ATTACKED with la
grippe aud died, and OF course / couldnt think
OF marrying for ayear.-PhlIdetphtI Inquirer.
TOMMY Cat dinner. the new minister being
guest ! gu are quite a singer believe?
think sog
Tommy-Mother says that you stick to your
notes more closely than any man sne ever heard
oefore.-Boston Herald.
ARTHUR Gust beginning his French,prop., is
| the French word Tor money of the feminine or
masculine genderf
Fatn Feminine, of course,
why, pap4?'
.Becaus.. haven't you heard that money
talks:'-LotceH Citizen.
FREDDIE tdownhearted at the cool reception
Really, Miss Smell, 1 should Trims you would
| go to St. Paul for while
| Miss Snell-FOr wat reason, sirf
freddle-Ihey are having some trouble in
| freezing the ice palace You might help EN-
| out.-ReGraey Enterprise.
Mr.. SToxANDBoNps-I understand, Quickly
J r1ch, that you have sent your son to college.
/ DO you lenc to give MIN liberal education?
| Mr. QuicAlyrich-Yes. sir, | do! He has $500
| a month, aud II you now of any one who is
| giving his son a more liberal education than
/ that. am prepared to make it $l.00O.-BMr-
| LlnQt0R Free Press.
WHY SMALL GAME WAS PRKFERRED-Friend-
| Well. Nose, see your f0ndness for chickens
| has got you into trouble again. Why can't you
| eat sOmetnn : else?
The Culprit- Dee :, Mars Brown, I would,
cheertully out how's a 200 niger to carry a
whole sheep off under hi, jacket? Does de law
| require mposserbliries?-Ie IS Siftjngs.
YOU ought to be glad that you will be
| electrified instead of hang d." said a prison
| visitor 70 a cOnvictet murderer.
| Why asked the felon in surprise.
| You suffer greatly from rheumatism, dom
yog;"
Well electricity is the best known remedy
for that '-EDCch
Dress A LA MODE Curtis-Why what a SLOW
| eny low Gesn.r is. And it's too bad, too;
| he's clever in some tn ngs
Miss Walnut must confess I haven't
| noticed
Curtis-Yes, indie d he's very careless about
his personal an earance. Why his clothes
/ actually ut m, you know Isn't it awful?
p ltddetDhtd inquirer.
FARMER-why don't you go to the work
| house?
TRAMP-Dey'n havA ter change de name O. de
institution afore dsy gifts me into t.-Laurence
| AG'eTicun.
PRAcr1oAL.-'I will die for you, nv darling >,
he exclaimed pasionately. Twill you be my
Get your life insured before you die. and
guess it's a CO." said she.SanterUitLe Journal.
DRUeGIsT-James, wish you would be par
ticularly careful about your prescriptions this
| week.
James-Yes, sir. Tn always as careful as
possible. sir
Druggist-Be especially particular not to use
arsenc by mistaae when you are putting up
quInine pills.
james, trust that my regard for human life
would prevent me making such a stupid
blunder.
Drugglst-That's all very we'll as far as if
goes, but see by this mornings paper that
| arsenic is way up. and we don't want to waste
any.-Americd.