Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1890-04-29
FULL OF FUN.

i
Since this Worlds Fair business
came up New York people spell II
Cheek-hog-oh, Ill.--Terre Haute Ex-
press.
Although they went to school together.
And grew up children side by side,
He never dreamed how much he loved her
Until her wealthy uncle died.
---Harper's Bazar.
"A London paper made queer mis-
print the other day; it meant to speak
OF the death Of prominent member OF
the Church Of Mummles. and the type
made IL Church OF Mummies."
The American Girl.-Queen Vic
toria ION receiving some American
heiress)-"How do you do, young Ia
dies?" Chorus OF Heiresses-'Come,
old lady, we haven't any time to waste,
SO put up your Dukes.
American.
Restaurant Waiter-"Will you have
your oysters on the half shell, sir?"
Hon. Ephraim Muggins (member of the
rural districts) mo- sir Do l look
like store clerk on half pay? Give
'em to me on the whole shell"-Bur-
lington Free Press.
-Tomplins-"Heard you left the
boarding-house, Jack" Jack-"Yes
the landlady was far too modest for
me-" Tompkins modest = how's
that?" Jack-'O, she insisted that we
eat dressed beef at every meal.
ney Enterprise.
-Rejected-'I will have TO throw
away this joke about the negro, Mr..
Smites," said the managing editor.
"Why?" asked the funny man. Be
cause you must not make light Of
dark subject. brakes Magazine.
@-Jawkins-''Here's couple OF Christ
mas chickens for you, Uncle Pomp."
Uncle Pomp-"Thank zee, sab, thank
zee! Yo was allus good man to help
the poo, Massa Jawkins." Jawkins-
"0h, like to see the poor help them
selves, Pomp, but in the case Of
chickens must make an exception. ~
Life.
"A fragrant Case.-''Going to the
apothecary's? Well, | wouldn't go to
Pestles." "Why not?" Hes SO dis
obliging. / went there the other even
ing to get postage stamp, and he act
ually refused to change hve-dollar bill
for 1t. / made up my mind then that
should transfer my custom to some other
druggist "-Boston Transcript
please, your Majesty, the Yule log
| walked away last night" whispered o
frightened slave to the African king,
Bumbum, on the Christmas eve OF I'LL.
at was boaconstrictor which we mis-
took for log" "Sov' roared His Nibs;
''then use yonder traveller for the log;
"he will celebrate in grand style;" and
that was why the first explorer to that
part Of Africa never returned.
First Auditor-"See! What can be
the matter with Miss Clawkeys. In the
midst Of her solo she seems quite over
come and can not continue?" Second
Auditor-"She plays with such earnest
ness and Is such a fiery, intense virtuoso
that she must have been overcome by
the artistic afilatus." First Auditor
"Usher, what is the matter with Miss
Clawkeys| Usher-"0h, nothin', sir.
She's swallowed her chewin' gum, that's
all. l."-America.
They tell a story of Maine man
who told his wife that he was going to
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES owa
fishing, and got all his friends to call at
his house and inquire his whereabouts.
When he returned, the story goes, tho
poor woman was so exhausted that she
couldn't speak for week. But 1t is safe
to wager that despite her exhaustion,
she could come nearer to giving the cor
rect pronunciation OF Asusang-and so
forth--than her husband who had just
returned from his fishing trip. The
woman had nothing to do with the bait.
--Norristown Herald.