davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The weekly messenger. [volume] (St. Martinsville [i.e. St. Martinville] La.) 1886-1948, 1890-04-19
HUMOROUS.

The oyster carries hi, shelter with
him.
A matchmaker belongs to the SELL tick
race.
Little dogs bark the most, because
that is all they can do.
A prudent man is like pin-hi,
head prevents him going too far.
A fruitless search-Tho one farmer
makes after the small boy has passed
through the orchard.
Tomhy-Pa, what does 'the lap of
Iuxury" meant Mr.. Figg-Means a cat
drinking cream, 1 suppose.
Carberry-It strikes m, you arc
rather long paying that bill. snodsy-
That's because am so short.
Jessie-rm sure Charlie loves me,
but he's afraid to propose. Bessie
Well, that shouldn't surprise you at
all.
Photographers are the most charita-
BILE of men, for they are always anxiou,
to take the best view of their fellow
creatures.
"Alfred," she said, disengasins her
hand, 'those horrid men saw us-what
did they say as they passed byl' show
touching"
so Smith has failed. How much
money did he get with his wifel" '.Her
face is her fortune" NO wonder he
had to make an assignment"
"'What do you value that handsome
spaniel at, if l may askl' swell. if
you want to buy him he's worth $500.
and if you're the assessor 1 reckon he
worth about - cents"
Two bowling pet dogs in a back yard
uptown were struck by two bullets last
night. Howling dogs should cut this
out and paste it in their hats.
The quintessence of lazincs, is Illus
trated by Dutch artist who was COM
missioned to paint picture of Jonah
and the Whale" and who thereupon
painted picture of a very large whale,
explaining that Jonah would be found
inside the monster.
Little Brother - Can't you walk
straight, Mr.. Manglel Mr.. Mangle-
OF course 1 can. Why do you ask2
Little Brother-Oh, nothing; only I
heard sister say she'd make you walk
straight when she married you. Aad
INA said she help her.
John-rm sorry shall b, away so
long. Miss Janet. You doa't know how
hate to say ''good- by to you, but 7
suppose the best of friend, must part.
you know. Janct-Oh, yes, and what's
the u'e of people who are nothing to !!
each other growing sad over separation'
That's the way look at it.
The weekly messenger. [volume] (St. Martinsville [i.e. St. Martinville] La.) 1886-1948, 1890-04-19

The marked beneat which people in run down or
weakened state o. health derive from Hoods Sarsa-
parilla conclusveiy proves claim that this medi-
cine ''makes the weak strong. II does not Get like
a stimulant, imparrins fictitious strength from
which there must follow reaction of greater
weakness than before, but possessing just those
clements which the system needs and readily sezes.
Hoods sarsapa-illa builds up in perfectly natural
way, all the weakened parts, acts upon the
The weekly messenger. [volume] (St. Martinsville [i.e. St. Martinville] La.) 1886-1948, 1890-04-19
That
Tired Feeling

blood purifier nd v.tilizer and assists to
healthy action those important organs TIE kidneys
and liver
Floods Sarsaoarilla has renewed my grip.
am % years of age and was all run down and dis
couraged. / have taken Hoods sarsaparilla and
on looking myself over find that l am much
better, in fac: quite cnap. OF course the mcdi-
cine will not discoun; my years, but it comes
nearer to 1t than anything else" CHAs. B. LONG,
Shrewsbury, Mass
y. Z. Be sure to get only
The weekly messenger. [volume] (St. Martinsville [i.e. St. Martinville] La.) 1886-1948, 1890-04-19
How TO Buy Bugcies.

The correct way TO buy goods OF any kind
is from the manufacturer. when possible. For
sixteen years the ElShart Carriage and Har.
ness Manufacturing Company, of Elkhart.
Ind, have sold direct To the consumer at
wholesale prices, saving their customers the
middleman's profit. As they ship anywhere.
with privilege to examine before raying, and
pay all charges il not satisfactory, the buyer
runs no risk. See their advertisement, and
send for catalogue.
The weekly messenger. [volume] (St. Martinsville [i.e. St. Martinville] La.) 1886-1948, 1890-04-19

The newest standing lamps have a
small shelf with an upturned edge placed
about three feet from the floor for hold.
ing flowers of what fancy chooses.
: A clever Buffalo On. " woman has
been TIC England, travelled all around
London, and saw everything worth see
ing. in two months trip, at a cost of
$500. =-4.-cii. 3D.. =. !: - -.-.--,--...-.
The weekly messenger. [volume] (St. Martinsville [i.e. St. Martinville] La.) 1886-1948, 1890-04-19

Maui Banks, daughter OF General n. p.
Banks, who has left the stage and is acting
as her fathers Private Secretary in Wash
ington, is a fine German scholar. She
speaks and writes German with perfect
case
The weekly messenger. [volume] (St. Martinsville [i.e. St. Martinville] La.) 1886-1948, 1890-04-19
Progress.

It's very important in this age o, vast mate
rial progress that a remedy be pleasing tn the
taste and TO the eye, easily taken, acceptable
to the stomach and healthy in its nature and
effects. Possessing these qualities. Syrup Of
Figs is the one perfect laxative and most gen.
lie d!ure;ic known.
The weekly messenger. [volume] (St. Martinsville [i.e. St. Martinville] La.) 1886-1948, 1890-04-19
hat Tired Feeling

Has never been more prevalent and more prostrat-
ing than now. The winter has been mild and I'M
heathfu influenza epidemic and fevers have visited
nearly all our homes, leaving about everybody in
weak, tired-out, larguid condition. The usefulness,
OF Hoods Sarsapa-illa is thus made greater than
ever FOR it IS absolutely unequaed a buiidins-up
strengthening medicine If you have never taken
hoois Sarsaparia try it and you will realize its re-
operative powers.
The weekly messenger. [volume] (St. Martinsville [i.e. St. Martinville] La.) 1886-1948, 1890-04-19
100 Doses One Dollar

A new combination of color of refined
taste is dove gray and yellow, the color
of gold. This combination is found in
all rich and heavy fabrics and also In
cheaper goods.
The weekly messenger. [volume] (St. Martinsville [i.e. St. Martinville] La.) 1886-1948, 1890-04-19
A BAD SPELL.


his
They entirely
qualed Liver Pill Smallest cheapest easiest tiny Sugar
coated Pellet DOSE g"
The weekly messenger. [volume] (St. Martinsville [i.e. St. Martinville] La.) 1886-1948, 1890-04-19

II afflicted With sore eyes, Use DR.. Isaac
Thompsons Eye Water. Druggists sell at
Csc per bottle.
The weekly messenger. [volume] (St. Martinsville [i.e. St. Martinville] La.) 1886-1948, 1890-04-19
That
Tired Feeling

''Ay health was very POOR 'ast spring and seeing
an advertisement OF hoods sa-sarariila thought /
would try il. 1t has worked wonders for me as it
has built my system M. l have taken four bottles
and am ON the NTH. recommend it to my acquant-
ances." JOHN MATTHEWS, Oswego. NY.
Il was very much run down in health had no
strength and NO inclination to do anything / have
been taking Hoods Sarsaparilia and that tired fee
ns has left me, my appetite has returned, am like
anew man." CHAUycEY LATHAM, North Columbus
Ohio.
The weekly messenger. [volume] (St. Martinsville [i.e. St. Martinville] La.) 1886-1948, 1890-04-19
$1,000 Reward for n Lost Cnf.

The equiv lent in English money of S 500
was once offered By an old lady in London Cor
TIE return of a ca,u:.e cat which had straye
- oecn stolen. People called nor "A Crank, 4"
lie, YET many 90 IT j., no ,cver fTrqently not
their fault. Often functional arrangements
Will apparently chan &c a woman's entire ma
ture Don't blame such sufferers il they are
CRANKY" but tell them to use DR.. Pierces Fa-
vorite Prescription, which is an infallible rcul-
edy for female weaknesses" 1t will soon re-
store them TO their normal condition. II il
Cd7TGntcd 70 give salts faction in every case, or
money paid for it will be renurnei.
The weekly messenger. [volume] (St. Martinsville [i.e. St. Martinville] La.) 1886-1948, 1890-04-19

DIR. Pierce's Pellets, the original and only
genuine Little Liver Pills; Is cents vial; oas
dose
The weekly messenger. [volume] (St. Martinsville [i.e. St. Martinville] La.) 1886-1948, 1890-04-19

We recommend Tansills Punch &C. Cigar
The weekly messenger. [volume] (St. Martinsville [i.e. St. Martinville] La.) 1886-1948, 1890-04-19
Hoods SarsapariIla

sold by all druggists ST. six for IS. Prepared oniy
by {. i. HOOD & CO, Lowell Mass.
The weekly messenger. [volume] (St. Martinsville [i.e. St. Martinville] La.) 1886-1948, 1890-04-19

by all druggists. 81; SIX for S.. Prepared only
:. J. HOOD K CO., Lowell, Mass.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1890-08-07
BE Careful How You Sit,

An erect bodily attitude is of vastly
more Importance to health than most
people generally imagine, says the N.
Y. Ledger. Crooked bodily positions,
maintained for any length of time, are
always injurious, whether in a sitting,
standing or lying position, whether
sleeping or waking. To sit with the
body leaning forward on the stomach
or to one side, with the heels elevated
on a level with the hands. it not only
in bad taste, but exceedingly detri-
mental to your health; it cramps the
stomach, presses the vital organs in.
terrupts the free motion of the chest
ard enfeebles the functions of the
abdominal and thoracic organs and,
in fact, unbalances the whole muscular
system. Many children become slight.
ly humpbacked or severely round.
shouldered by sleeping with the head
raised on a high pillow. When any
person finds it easier to sit or stand OF
walk or sleep in a crooked position
than a straight one. he may be sure
bis muscular system is deranged and
the more careful he should be to pre-
serve an upright position.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1890-08-07

Two %trottcrs. small and restless. cantered Cd
one summer day,
And " it'll Tire IN. all unWiitingiy, they took the
bah. May;
Ger meals aud meadows fresh and green. with
morning dcws get damp.
They gaitoVed far away from town, these
ponies Ifot and Tramp.
AS ON they sped new sights and sounds did all
their thoughts beg nile,
I'LL weary quite, said irot 10 Tramp, Lets
stop and rest u while
And dropping down OH velvet sward they 10
thclf harness lay.
Nor eyer gave Il thought to her whom they
had borne away
But baby May was well content. and midst the
And gathered starry daisies white. with
dimpIed fingers fat,
And curis Of dandelion stems she in heI
trcsSeS hung,
And to the winds the golden wealth of bios
SONS gaiiy Hung.
Refreshed aud rested. Trot and Tramp once
more went on their way.
And with them. still beiecked with flowers,
WAS merry baby May:
With spirits high, they gliiOIed on by rill and
running brook.
And in and out. by crooked paths, their wind.
ing way they took.
But ere the noontide hour had come, said
Trut, in iolefui mood,
Il would ] could but lay the down, It's naught
care for food"
Said Tramp 10 Trnt. In all my life I've ne'ei
SO weary been;
Perhaps To do rs We have done is something OF
asin!'
Meanwhile reigned fear and anxious thought
DER loss of baby May,
For none could guess the manner strange In
/! which she went away,
| Nor ever dreamed that ponies small, like tiny
Tramp and Trot.
Could bear away IL little girl to such a far-off
spot.
But while the sun was yet on high, unframed
in wooded glade,
Was found asleep by messy log, d dainty
little maid.
And dangling from her shapely head. with
hair of golden sheen.
| Were daisies white. and wilted curls of dande
| lion green,
| And with no room at all to spare (the oldest
place to chuOScl
Were Trot and Tranp.ail safe and sound, with
in the maiden's shoes.
| Good Housekeeping,
Mexico weekly ledger., 1890-08-07

the HupdSo uis-
eases peculiar to
children nothing
else Is so effective
as this medicine.
while its agreea-
bic flavor makes
it easy to admin
ister.
"My little boy
had large scrofu-
lous ulcers on his
neck and throat
from which he
suffered terribly.
NJ --.-s--
Mexico weekly ledger., 1890-08-07
CURIOSITY DID 1T.
The Book Agent Reaches the Farmer BY
New Method.

dlCLhou
mo. we don't want nothin'! Git, or
I'll call the dorg!' These are the
words that will not down the book
agents nightmare" Bad dreams!
Here. as he losses on his uncomforta.
BILE couch he sees Bridget of the auburn
locks. staring from the half-open
| portal as she holds a kettle of boiling
water in a threatening attitude. He
turns over in his bed to flee, but there
a man and a savage dog confront him.
The man hurls a club against the
agents tender shins and urges on the
dog. The book vender staggers
toward an inviting fence and just as he
crawls up to a place of safety he feels
the hot breath of the dog as the brute
prepares to sink his teeth into the
agents neck; but they never sink. The
agent opens his eyes, stares around the
coy room, and exclaims, Only a
dream!''
In the agents long list of expert.
ences, the Bridget. man, club and dog
are real, and it has been the business
of the agents profession to learn the
habits, peculiarities and disposition of
these antagonistic subjects. and, if
possible, educate them to appreciate
the book agents industry.
Book agents follow the motto, when
everything else fails, try curiosity, u
and it usually wins. An old farmer
south of this city. who had thrown
book agents over the fence, allowed his
curiosity to lead him down to the gate
to see a bicycle go by. Just as the
young gentleman came up to the gate
something went wrong with the wheel,
and he stopped to fix it. The old
farmer kindly offered his aid. and the
willy agent slipped a book into the
victims hand to hold till the wheel was
fixed. The conversation turned from
bicycle to the book, and the former
was repaired about the time the old
farmer was ready to subscribe for two
of the latter. When the NAM was
well inscribed and the blcyclist u OF
hearing, the old farmer scratched his
head in a rather dazed way and said
"Ill be dinged if that amt a boob
agent. n-IndianapOtis NeWs.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1890-08-07

Dandruff is probably the most prev
alent affection of the scalp, as we'll as a
source of annoyance. 1t should be
borne in mind that dandruff pertains
to the scalp and not to the hair, except
as it becomes mingled with it. The
most natural method of removing it is
with the comb and brush, but the comb
should be carefully used. Part the
hair, and an operator will soon ac-
quire the faculty of lifting the scales
without scattering them through the
hair. When this has been done the
brush will remove the stray particles.
1t is better, however, to prevent the
accumulation than to submit to the
necessity of scraping it from the skin,
and fortunately there are simple rem
edies which, in the majority of cases,
are effective--Good Housekeeping.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1890-08-07

A young mar named Sutton has lived
"a days on soda water at Dubuoua. u.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1890-08-07
Vienna Chimney-Sweeps.

Vienna is in danger of becoming as
grimy and as sooty as London; for the
~journeymen chimney-sweepers have
begun a general strike, and it is inn
possible to find any II possessing the
qualifications necessary for the per
Torrance of their duties. Indeed, the
geography of the old Vienna chimneys
is 50 intricate and wonderful that it re-
quires years of apprenticeship to be.
come even an ordinary sweep.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1890-08-07

PhyoA~AdAto
attended him, but he grew continually
worse under their care, n everybody
expected he would die. / had heard of
the remarkable cures effected by Ayers
Sarsaparilia, and decided to have my
boy try it. Shortly after he began to
take this medicine, the ulcers COM
menced healing, and, after using several
bottles, he was entirely cured. He is
now as healthy and strong as any boy
Of his age William +. Dougherty,
Hampton, Va.
"In May last, my youngest child,
fourteen months old, began to have sores
gather on its head and body. We ap.
piled various simple remedies without
avail. The sores increased in numbe.
and discharged ~copiously. A physician
was called, but the sores continued to
multiply until in a few months they
nearly covered the child's head and body.
At last We began the use of Ayers Sar-
saparilla. In a few days q marked
change for the better was manifest. The
sores ssumed a more healthy condition,
the discharges were gradually dimin-
ished, aud finally ceased altogether.
The child is ~livelier, its skin is fresher,
and its appetite better than We have OBJ
served for months. Frank NJ. Griffin
Long Point, Texas.
"The formula of Ayers S~arsaparilla
presents, for chronic diseases OF almost
every kind, the best remedy known to
the medical world."-D. NJ. Wilson,
NJ. D., Wigs, Arkansas.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1890-08-07
The Safest

AND most powerful alternative 10
n Ayers Sarsaparilla. Young and
old are alike benefited by its use. For
Mexico weekly ledger., 1890-08-07

Come to me, Robert, If You ever loved me
In the old days, when we We're SO happy to-
gether In the quiet home that ] shall never see
again! Alb, if ] had never left it-or you! You
loved me best, after all; but. then / did not be
lieye IT.
And the child. Robert. He bears your
name. and he has your eyes. our smile, For
the sake of the child. at least, come to me. for
Your unhappy
Evening capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1888-1893, 1890-01-16
For the Public Good.

II is an indisputabse fact that the hand.
Iomest vestibule trains that are now run
IN the American continent are those on
he Burlington route, leaving from Union
iepot in Denver, also st. Paul, Immediate
y ON arrival of all through trains from the
west. The first and second class coaches
ire magnificent, the rec. lining chair cars
suburb, the Pullman sleepers extremely
iuXuriant, and as for the meals that are
served in those p;.iace Burlington dining
:rrs--yum yum. The next time you 10
EAST to Kansas City, Chicago or st. Louis,
# you mention to the ticket agent that you
want your ticket TO read from Denver or
II. Paul over the Burlington route, you
viii get it, and you will always be glad of
II.
If you go via the Northern or Canadian
Pacific, the elegant vestibule trains oI
The Burlington Route, betw ween ST. Paul
ind Chicago, or st. Louis, will carry you
along the eastern shore of the Mississippi
river for n distance of $50 miles, amidst
scenery that cannot be surpassed; or, II you
90 via the oregon Short Line or Southern
Pacific, and your ticKst reads via The
Burlington Route from Cheyenne or Den
yer, you will pass through all the thriving
cities and towns located in what 10 popu-
larly known as the Heart OF the Continent.
For further information apply to A. &.
sheldon, General Agent, s5 First street,
Oregon. 4-19d&wtf
Evening capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1888-1893, 1890-01-16
POOR FIDO'S COFFIN,

How Heartless Maid Dcsecrated II for
Filthy Lucre's Sake.
"A wealthy Boston woman went abroad.
accompanied by her pet dog and a couple of
maids, one to attend to him and one to look
after the secondary matter of the conf, =
OF the mistress But alas exclalms Arlo
Bates in the Providence (R. ~ jon, nal,
even pet dogs can not live forever, and the
end OF this pampered canines career came
III Paris His mistress was wel-nigh heart
broken. 1t seemed to her particularly cruel
that t1do or whatever his precious name
may have been, should have been forced to
meet his end far from his native land and
the four'legged friends with whom he had
always been in snarling disaccord. She
vowed that at least his ashes should rest in
his native soil. She had a beautiful caslSet
made, and, cutting short her visit abroad,
she started for America with the remains
OF her 1avorlte, utterly prostrated by the
bereavement which had come to her.
All went smoothly until Boston was
reached and then the custom house officer
insisted upon examining the contents Of
tldo's coffin. 1t was afterward discovered
that the lady's maid had on the voyage
quarreed with the other servant, and
had given them the hint upon which
they acted. The lady protested, I'M
plored and threatened, all in vain
The officers were firm and the dogs
attendant was forced to produce the keys of
the casllet Amid the lady's indignant pro- !
tests at this rude violation of her darling's |
rest, the coffin was opened, and found to |
be full of lace, gloves and other feminine |
fripperes. The maid had heartlessly dis,
posed of the sacred remains of Fido and |
used his casket as cover for various triflcs |
upon which she had feminine indisposition
to pay duty. The rage of the mistress
beggars description, and must be left to
the imagination. She wept and stormed,
discharging, with much impartiaity, both |
her servants on the spot But life has its
consultations. She is already halfway out
of mourning for Fido; she has two new
maids and new dog, the last duly adorned
with lavender ribbons in mitigated remem-
brance of his departed predecessor, the
place of whose grave, like that of Moses, no
man knOweth to this day.
Evening capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1888-1893, 1890-01-16
Catnrrah Can't he Cnred

with NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. as
they cannot reach the seat of the
disease. Catarrah is a blood or con-
Stitutional disease, and in order to
cure II you have to take internal
remedies. Halls Catarrah cure is
taken internally, and acts directly
on the blood and mucous surfaces.
Halls Catarrah Cure is no quack
medicine. 1t was prescribed by
one of the best physicians in this
country for years, and is regular
1t is composed of the
best TONES known, combined with
the best blood purifiers, acting di-
rcctly on the mucous surfaces. The
perfect combination of the two in
gradients is what produces such
wonderful results in curing catarrh.
Send for testimonials free.
f. j. CHEN Ely & co Props,
Toledo,
Sold by druggists, price 75c.
Evening capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1888-1893, 1890-01-16

Le Richou's Golden Balaam No
Cures Chancres, frs, and a .conJ s,.,,os.
Soroson tho Legs and B,dy: Sore FSss
Eyes, Nose, etc, Copper.c lord BiotcheS'
Syphilitic atarih, diseased Scalp, and ali
primary fo-:ns Of the disease known as
SYPHILIS. Prtc", 80 CO per Bottle.
LIE Richau's @ ldpn BnIsam No
Cures-Terti'ry, McrcurIa, Syphi .itic Rheu-
matism, Pain' in the Bones, Pains in the
Head, back CT tho Neck, liberated Sore
Throat, Syphnit.c Rash, Lumps and con-
tractcd Cor's, Stiffness Of the Limbs and
eradicatcs al d scase from the system.
whether caused by ind scrcticn or abuse
Oh Mercury, leaving the bod pure aud
healthy. P'ice 20 GO per ottle.
LIZ hfchnu,i Golden - anish An 4.
dote Ter t,!e cure Of Gono-rhna, elect.
irritation Gravel, and all Urinary or Goni,
Bottle.
lie Richau' Golden Spsnfsh In
J"cti n, f>rslv cases Of Gonorrhna.
l2ii1mm n y elect, Strictur s,&c. Price
S. per Bottle.
lie Hichnri's Golden Ointment
Zoe t o CT ct VIC healing Ct Syphi..tic S7rcl.
ana erupCcns Price 81 co ID BOX
10 icha u's GoIGeN Is. q-Nc-yc
anil Bra treatment; loss o. physi"al pow
or. eXccSI c. ovcr-worlt, Irostraton etc
Price S3 90 per Box.
.TIHic rid Eervine,
Sent everywhere, G, o. D., feourc'y packed
per express
c. +. RICHAle' &: co. Agents.
81 4-o Sansome street, Corner lay,
SHn Francisco Cal.
CIRCULAR MAILED FREE.
Evening capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1888-1893, 1890-01-16
Good Story of Gladstone.

You may hear all sorts Of stories about
MIR. Gladstone and his talk; not all of them
good II atured, for society does its best TO
dislike him, and succeeds when he is nb-
sent will repeat one which gives you an
other eide OF nim While Prime Minister
he appointed a well known man to certain
difficult post abroad, requiring great deal
Of special knowledge and personal &C
quaintance with the country and people, all
OF which this young man had acquired In
the course of several laboricus years. Mr..
Gladstone sent for his commissioner to
come and see him before he set out. He
came, and next day friend congratulated
him on the impression be had made. "Mr.
Gladstone says he never met any one who
knew so much about the Caucasus" Lord
X. laughed; Il was with him two hours and
peyer opened my mouth"