Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-08-08
PlTf[ AND POINT.

L LII ANU L UIN1.
"Every dog has his day, Cynicus. y
'And every crank has his turn. "-Neu
York San.
1t improves your memory to lcud 81
friend So, but 1t destroys the memory of
your friend.-Picayune. "
The course of true love never did run,
smooth, and it would not be half the fun,
if it did.-Eimi'u Free Press.
Cholly Peachblow-"Ow! 1 say, BAH
bah, that razor pulls" Barber (con-
tcmptuously)- what?"-Ne,o YorA
Sun.
The incandescent electric lights have
bad habit; they want to go out too Of
ten during business hours. York
Mens.
At ~ o'clock-Georgc- I de-
clare, Sally, the fire has gone out.' Sally
well, George, you may so after it."
Light.
shc-s'You tell your sister meant to,
write her note, bat didn't" He
"Thanks. She'll be glad to hear it. -
West Shore.
Briggs-sI did not see you at church
last Sunday" Braggs-"No; 1 didn't
get in until you had gone to slcep."-
Ieyre Haute E.rtresS.
care these handkerchicfs all pure
lineni" Salesman-''Yes, on my hon
or" $50 see; half cotton, 1 suppose
then. y Fliegeaae Blaetter.
"Always pay cash as you go. That's
my principle said Secde. ''Humpt
That accounts for your slowncss, pre-.
'ume," remarked friend Munsey's.
~ Gomez the lecturer began
And then came a gentle cough,
For in the audience man
1rreverently said: Come OFF,
-Ncw Yo!k Herald.
The Conductor Ito train robSsss)7a
''Boys, there's no money in this job;
the Pullman porter has just jumped off
the train and escaped. y ScriJaer's Mag
a;ine.
Proprietor (firmly)-"Your account,
NJ. Weeks, has nov been running fol
sia months" Weeks Oblandly)-"W Well,
suppose we let it rest for year or twolf
--lEercury. f.
"And now, Professor, what do you
think of my voice." "Well, it all de-
ponds. You haven't told me yet. Do
you intend becoming an auctioncer or
huckster?"- Philaaeiphia Times.
Gamin ito street pcddIer)-"Say mis-
ter, are you really blind?'' Pcddlcr-
mo; sell these cough drops for my
blind brother, who stays around the corr
ner 10 look out for cops. "-.S0ciety.
"Bibleurre, why don't you stop drink
ingi" ~ have often tried to, but il;
seems l can't" 60, pshaw! All il re-.
quires is strong will power "Well, il
requires strong water power, too, and that
haven't got. '-M,o York Herald.
See how small investments pay. A
man, poor but enterprising, paid Sc for
revolver. That same evening he earned
$1,000 by simply pointing his Sc revolver
at man who happened to have the,
amount specified in his inside pocket
MnnSey's.
Mrs. Caller-"There's horrid dog
running across your garden" Mrs. At,
home-''It's our puppy, Jack. We hire
one of the neighbors' boys to tic n wet.
sponge on his tail and chase him an hour
CNSiJ WY. IL WhtctS tiiC SsiluSu illCSly.
Prank Leslie's.
"Confound it, anyhow" saitlNsiho
mother in-law joke when the Anga Ga,
briel blew his horn. "This is the seven
teen million, five hundred and twenty
one thousand, four hundred and sixty
seventh time have been rcsurrccted." -
Washington Post.
Old Grump Ito his son)-'sNo, 1 shan't
give you fifty dollars or fifty cents! In
stead of wasting your money for nothing
you ought to keep it to pay your debts"
Young Grump-'' Wasting it for moth
ing! Why, what do l get back for it,
father, when pay dcbt?"- Texas .Sitt,
ings. :,
This is the happy time of year when
the tenant asks for a new roof, larger
cellar, hundred dollars worth of wall
paper,a more commodious kitchen range,
IN acre more of ground and a dining
room extension, in the hope of getting a
reduction OF five dollars a month on his
rent.-Pack.
$50 that fellow Brown married tho
popular Miss Jones and she had q dozen
better men at her feetl" eyes, and he
calls her f pluribus unum.'" GEE
pluribus unum?' What does he mean by
that2" "Won from many. Brown is q
great Latin scholar, don't you know."-
Washington Star.
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