Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1890-02-06
copyright, 1900. by Z. W. Nye.l

OF Wild Biii ana Nus slayer.
copyright, 1900, by Z. W. Nyel
do not know that any one has ever
referred publicly to the average stage
hand rs we find him at the one night
stands. do not mean the professional
stage hand, but the young and pimply
party who acts as door walker for a
livery stable during the day and shifts
the scenery at the theatre at night.
He is n self made young man, who is
not afraid TO appear before any audience
IN pair Of high top rubber boots which
he has used all day to wash buggies in,
and light the footlights amid thunders of
applause. We had one of these gentle
men the other night. He brought nine
others to help him. ! think that the
most of them sleep on the stage nights.
They were playing "old sledge" behind
the drop curtain when we came.
do not know what they were there
for. We did not want them. We did
not need them. They joyfully stood
arouud in the way and spat down large
knothole near the curtain rope, although
II was a hopeless task, for it dried up
before the next one could get ready, and
90 they are no nearer TO floating the
stage away than when they first began.
asked the head man If he would get
me glass of water. He said he had to
remain in order to attend 70 the curtain.
As we do not use any curtain or scenery OF
properties, except a glass Of water and
q stick Of hoarhound candy, l thought
he could be spared, but he did not seem
TO think so, and got a small boy to
bring me the water, while the head boy,
now stage Napoleon, went to reading
once more the thrilling tale, Married in
Haste, to Repent Mt Chicago; or, How
Won Her." by a. Oner, Esq.
He was the tiredest young man for one
who was just i'm the fluff and bloom and
heyday of life that ever saw. He had
very retreating chin. Otherwise he
would not have had the strength of pur-
pose 10 spit over il. His forehead also
asked to be excused and went back into
his hair in search of ideas and one
thing and another, Judge.
One of his front teeth had disappeared
Doubtless kicked out by an Infatuated
horse while the two were sleeping in the
same stall, the horse being tied, however,
and unable to get away, using his only
means Of discouraging bed fellow with
whom he could certainly have nothing in
common. The loss of this tooth gave him
greater scope as an expectorator, and
would have assisted his smile If he had
ever smiled, but he never smiled. 1t is
very rare that such man laughs. His
dignity and n set Of liverwurst thought
works In poor state Of preservation, are
all he has. Life Is a serious matter with
an ass. do not say this in order to be
euphonious, but from the rich and over
flowing treasures of ripe experience.
Il thought would say that before some
one else did 1t for me.)
The ass Is always sad and dignified.
He is profound and mournful. II you
desire to see solemnity, dignity and men,
tai obliquity, go to the penitentiary and
70 the corral when the deep voiced ass
with the low, retreating forehead trills
his tremendous notes In the hush of the
evening.
My dead friend, Mr.. Shaw, once said
that dignity was no more the sign of
wisdom than the paper collar was the
sign Of a shirt, and can put my hand
on my heart and say he was right.
once knew q man who had a good
deal of dignity and beard that he
could part in the middle like a skye ter
rier's. With these rare gifts of mind
and heart he married a sweet young girl
and got reading notice Of forty lines
in exchange for a wedge Of bride cake,
which was afterward used in thin strips
for double leading the editorials. He
advanced rapidly, until he had obtained
the confidence Of all who knew him.
Cashing this confidence one Saturday
evening, he parted with his parted whis-
kers, his flowing hair became fed, and
In the morning, as n dignified man who
had never been known 10 smile, wrote
his name on the register at Montreal.
MANY Citizens" "Veritas," "Pro Bono
Publico," "Vox Populi, Tax Payer" a
wet eyed grass widow and two little dig
nifed cubs with pompadour hair wept
and would not be comforted. He never
camo back.
En- route have received several letters