, 1890-05-15
A SAUNTERER'S WOES.
How He Walked Across the
Desert.
THANATOpSIS NOT IN FAVOR
The Complainant Was Seeking
Continuous Wood, and Was
Disappointed.


IL Is not probable that an unkempt
and unshaven tramp could detract
from the fame OF William Cullen
Bryant one iot or little. II may be
unkind to expose the ignorance or
cupldity of great writer after he
has laid his pen away forever. j
realize that from the homes In which
Bryants writings arc rea! would
likely be spurned IA stranger cur;
yet | have the temerity to critlcise
this famous editor and poet.
Several weeks ago left Portland
squirrels and q variety of small
game made living cheap. | had in
tended to remain In the mountains
"A few days, return TO Portland and
take the train to Spokane Falls, but
the temptation to stay out In the
woods was Irresistible. When IN lad
at school was compelled, as n PEN
atty for some juvenile crime, to com
nit to memory Bryanps "Thana-
topsis," and while hunting In the
woods the passage stake the
wings OF morning and the
BaIcan desert pierce, or lose thyself
In the continuous woods where rolls
the Oregon aud hears no sound save
Its own dashings" came back to-
mind. continued to penetrate
these continuous woods, aud mnkea
gypsy trip Of II to your city. l had
food-cooking utensils, blankets and
other accessories of camp lie, but
not being possessed ofa pair OF the
wings of morning, | could not fully
follow the poets instruction; L
walked. The trip from Portland to
The Dalles was IL picnic not man-ed
by accident or unlovely weather.
There was mountain scenery, sun
rises, sunsets, millions of songbirds,
and the whispering voices of the
forests for mental transport; and
savory game for less bonored but
just as potent feelings. A few les
east oi The Dalles ! found that
was trudging through sand desert.
IL Is merely peculiar geologic
streak through the woods, | mtlsed
"a creative blemish, AN arid spot
designed TO display by contrast the
glory and grandeur of its wooded
cnvirohment.
While ! thus reflected a hot wind
began to blow up the valley. |
walked on as rapidly as my load
and legs would permit. AT every
turn In the valley expected to see
the desolate sand cherries merge
Into the continuous woods.n As |
walked the sun grew hot and hotter
and the wind increased in velocity
until I'm its violence 1t blew clouds
of choking, singing, scorchlng sand
Into my ears, eyes and other availa-
BILE places. But kept travelling,
omitted TO swear, and rcassured my
spirits with the faith that the poets
woods would presently loom up. But
when | reached an elevation from
which i could see for miles around
me, my faith In man and love for
poetic fancy received n rude setback.
In front of me there stretched an in
terminable waste of treelcss, desc
late sand, in the midst of which lthe
Columbia, muddy, turgid, uninter-
esting, fringed with scrawny sage
brush, moved along sleepily. Far
up the stream | afterwurd found
some rapids. 1t looked as though
the river, having unwittingly en-
tered this barren region, parched,
stricken with sand aud afflicted
with the reeking carcasses of cattle,
had started convulsiveiy to rush
through, but was soon overtaken
by lethargy and In forgetfulness OF
the fact that q great poet had writ
ten that ii heard no sound save its
own dnshing, allowed the hollow
gurgling of its lazy eddies to be
drowned by the louder and unmu-
steal cav of the crows infesting this
desert place. Before / tramped out
of that horrible stretch Of country
the prices charged me by the shy
locks in charge of the grocery y ores
In the inireqnent towns nearly de-
stroyed my exchequer. In fact be-
fore l could reach Spokane Falls !
went broke and, as Sol Smith Rus
sell would say, | was "as bad ly
broke as the ten commandments.
have now hired myself la
farmer of this country and every
day, dressed in my best suit Of
clothes, consisting OF madurO over
alls, stogy boots and "a canton fan
mel shirt, | make this farmer the
/ victim of my comprehensive igno-
rance of agriculture.
! Sometimes when / reflect how
completely taken In 1 was by
that poem grow pessinistlc
and swear by all the heathcn gods
at once that / shall try 10 induce
congress to pass IA bill requiring
poets who are granted poetic license
TO wear about their necks leather
collars with brass iastenings, Ollie
superscription and paddock; and any
poet found ut large without such
collar, should be taken to the pound
and drowned with the first batch of
contraband pups.
In my better moods / look more
forgivingly at the poetic slips where
fact is sacrificed for fancy. say
that Bryant must have been either
misinformed concerning that section
of country, or for IA line sounding
sentence allowed his muse TO play
pandemonium in the cavity of his
| ear.
But ! hereby warn travellers from
attempting TO foot IL through that
part OF the United States lying be-
tween The Dalles and Umatilla
Junction, Or. HAROLD BoLCE.
ENDICofr, Wash.
n