Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1890-12-24
MIR. AND MRS. BOwsER.
lie Orders Groceries and Makes a Great
Detroit Free Pr,

Cook rum away" queried MIR. Bow
ser rs he noticed the change.
The baking powder didn't come up.
I replied.
Ibid you order it?''
Eyes, at O'clock"
"And it is now &, Mrs. Bowser.
there must be- something very wrong
with your system of trading. If i were
ordering groceries I'd like 10 see 'em
try any such game on me-
''We can get along for once
That isn't the question. You order
groceries at = o'clock. They are not
here ut q. This shows either that the
grocer doesn't care for Your trade, or
else he is liar in agreeing to send them
up. | am afraid they find you very
easy mark"
II suppose YOU could do better" l re-
torted.
Certainly. A woman can perhaps
buy gimcrackS to better advantage than
a man, but when it comes down TO solid:
she can't be trusted
Very WELL you buy the groceries fol
the next week. The cook will tell you
what is wanted"
"I'll do it, and I'll show you that we
will live great deal better and yet save
II or 81 a week. They can't play any
roots on me, Mrs. BowSer.'
Next morning, before going away, he
went ont To the cook and said:
IN send up the meat for dinner.
That's all, ! suppose"
1--WE want few things besides, sir.
Put down salt, soap, pepper, tea, CHINA
mon. starch, Sago, potatoes, vinegar
what Haven't you got blessed
thing in the houSc?"
Lots O things, sir, but there's some
thing wanting every day. You can add
a dashboard, lamp chimney, some
SapOlio, box of matches and"
That will do interrupted Mr..
BowSer. Il can see that there has been
the groSSeSt Acknowledgement in this
house. It's a wonder we are not on the
way to the poorhouSc.'
"Well, if you don't get 'em, we won
have en- said the cook and with that
bit of natural philosophy she turned
away to wash the dishes.
Some meat came up and was prepared
for dinner. When Mr.. Bowser came
home he inquired:
"What have you been raying for roast
beef?"
about IS cents.
"Ha, suspected it from the way the
butcher acted. He has been Swindling
you at the rate of six cents per pound.
NO"
Exact. sent up pere at six cents
which beats any you have had for 4
month.
When we got seated at the table he
looked about and remarked that the
cook had forgotten to put on the pota-
toes.
"You didn't send up any l replied.
What
Nothing came but the meat.
by the great two-humped camel, but
-"
He suddenly felt in his vest pocket.
and there was the list of groceries
With that he took up the car ling knife
and fork and began TO carve the meat.
1t didn't carve He bore down and
sawed away, and finally aid his knife
down and said:
Mrs. Bow>cr, is this piece Of rhin-
OceroS or becf?'
LISA neck-piece OF beef. Mr.. BOwser.
When | buy 'cm for minoc pie boil the
meat about two days. You sent il for i
roast and the cook has roasted it.
He turned very white and kicked the
cat under the table, and our dinner was
slim and unpleasant one. After get
ting on his hat and overcoat he went
ont to see the cook, and a she appeared
in the kitchen door she said:
There's no butter for supper, and |
want you to send up some tomatoes foi
soup, two iron spoons, package OF
stove polish. some silver soap, all>pice.
oyster crackers and bluing. Here's
| list
do you pretend to say we want al
those things?" he demanded.
Eyes, and many more never worked
in a place before where had so little tC
do with. If you'll Scid up man and
an axe I'll have that beef cut up cold
for supper"
could hear Mr.. BowSer breathing
thirty feet distant, and one Of his shoe
went out of the house without eXplod
ing. In the afternoon the things came
up-all but the tea and butter. At sup
per time the cook maze coffee. Mr..
BowSer noticed it as we sat down. and,
shutting the aroma he remarked:
Doesn't your girl know the differ
encc between breakfast and supper:
And where on earth is the butter"
you didn't send up either tea or
butter"
what! Mrs. BowScr. do YOU imagine
I've gone crazy"
"Well. they didn't come up"
"Thcy didn't, Ell? Let me get to that
telephone and III give that internal
grocery store something to think of for
the next hundred years
| don't know what the grocer said to
him. but Mr. BowSer danced up and
down a2d sent him to Jerico. Jericho,
Jersey City and lots of other places, and
wound up by saying that he'd 60 to the
Cape of Good Hope before he'd ever buy
another thing there. That night |
found the list of articles in his pocket.
He had checked off as he ordered, and
had left the tea and butter out. Next
morning before he went down town he
said to the cook:
''rll send up Il chicken to be baked
and stuffed
At11 o'clock, no chicken having APP
pearcd. she fried some bacon for dinner
Mr.. Bowser didn't know it until he sat
down. Then he took one look at the
bacon and arose and walked out into the
kitchen and asked:
as this my house or yours
"What of it?" asked the cook.
Didn't say I'd send up chicken"
You did"
And it was to be stuffed"
YES, sir.
Then why didn't you do it,
"Wherc is the chicken, SIR
where? Gone to the cat, probably.
ordered it at 5 o'clock"
1T didn't come"
at didn't. Let me get to that tele-
q. Ia.