Telegram-herald., 1890-10-06


"wErY DOES Ev.EYsoDY LAUGH AT NE ="
planned to them by our colonel that the
stuff was almost sure death, and besides
that there wasn't more than enough for
the officers.
That night the liquor wa. stored in
an old tobacco barn that stood on a side
hill, and the commissary took charge Of
il. Pardon my going into detail this
way, but when | see a bureau just pant
ing for private information like 10 load
il UP, aud only wish that the American
people would join me in this praise
worthy endeayor.
The liquor was extremely rocky,
guess; but that's neither here nor there.
The silence Of night gathered about the
sleeping encampment, and tired nature
soon yielded 10 oyerpOwering fatigue.
| All WAS silence along the misty line OF
slumbering forms, save the near by
crunchins and grinding of provender by
the jaded horses or the distant report as
some faithful picket discharged his duty.
| "Then all was silent again.
"Anon the day breaks, and with ii a
/ wild, mellow howl from Company G.,
! known as the Sparkling-and- -bright-in-its-
| hquid-hght company; also the tee
totlers. This was calculated to be sar-
castle. because they had painted every
southern state a bright red barring
Texas, and that was too big for their
stock, 50 they run out of paint.
"Well, these fellers were all extremely
full, and they went on to state that they
were glad of it. They had been heard
10 speak d,sparagingly of the rebellion
several times, and TO say also that if they
were home again they would be almost
willing TO let the colored man break his
own fetlocks in such style as he might
deem proper They said great many
things about the inconvenience Of being
chased and shot at for two days running
by an infuriated foe at $f3 per month
and find ones self.
Later on we ascertained that the
liquor had been secured by incendiaries,
who had stolen two barrels ont OF three,
and almost out from under our noses.
This very naturally infuriated our Off
GERS, who had had only one or two big
drinks out Of il so far, preferring to wait
a day or two In order that it would have
more age. tasted of it myself once, so
was toll by friends who held my head
all the day afterward. / couldn't help
thinking at the time that If this sort Of
LIQUOR was general IN the south, piracy,
treason and the use of cuspidors in the
sanctuary ought not to be looked upon so
severely as they would where a less
malignant style of rum was in general
circulation.
well. TO make long story short, Mr..
/ Census Burro, | was selected to guard
the remaining barrel that night. put
Il up on trestle, locked the doors and
laid down alongside the trestle in nv
blankets and waited for day l kept
awake for probably an hour, though il
seemed 10 me ike year Then the
cr;c'zets sounded further and further
away. and that was all. for / was tired.
Oh. sir, | was indeed very tired.
wasn't doing regular guard duty. recol-
lect. Burro, but sort OF volunteer police
duty.
along about o'clock, l should say,
was woke up By sharp pain in my
person. and with a shrek OF agony which
WAS heSrd distinctly by loyal neighbors
of mine in Montreal. who said that it re-
minded them Of the shrek made by Free
dom at the time when KosciuskO fell.
stood in the nEddle of the floor wrapped
in my own sal thoughts and an army
shirt which did not extend 10 the close
Ct the war by any means.
"As darted away from what seemed
30 be the sting Of an overgrown hornet,
such a. one might run across wniie ram
bling through Satsn's preserves, | SOW in
the uncertain hxnt the retreating bit Of
two-inch anger. Then | could make
out dimly . largo collection Of anger
holes distributed around over the floor
evidently in vain search for spirits, and
below / heard the football Il e~caping
soldiery "a they fell over each other IN
their efforts 70 escape.
The whi " was saved, and in one oi
the battles which occurred soon after
w3ri think Il won rs the day. for our
colonel was ~ III naturei because of the
head he had upon him on that day that
Before any one could pacify him he
rushed IN and l1usl quite a lot of the
ene1aY, tins weakening them aud turn
Ing their tank wrong side ont. which
Va took advantage Of. snd II gave Us the
victory.
But l have never been the same man
s1nce vas 20 horribly bored never
fee sure ef fay victuAls unless Ct the
very CosrseSt character. and I suffe
great pain as tines What I cannot an.
derstsnd i that 50 many peoT.s regard
the whole matter a. mirth provoking
Even auiet >enEhle old people Who ars
not Sc al rr1volous give themselv~~ u
- psroTTsTas ~ laughter vhsn Tel my
ssd tale Why should Old silver hsire,l
people whose bloom hss heen rusaed of
for asny vesr 81 oF peal = lan<hter
h-aoaase ny pancreas is weather b-ster
and t6e night Ar wksstleS taroaxh my
thoracic ductss
Fl have put IN Al the te~tiasouv IA
anybody n-s>i -. think. regarding ~
csse. snd have sEore - everything thai
nv sttCrney has be@vrght ~ - ss~s
~ For SIX zasnths nv rfzht kana W.