Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1890-02-19
-.-=R AFTER BLOOD.
Threatens to XIII His shIrtmaxar
and Tailor.

H44Hss hotnc ua4I a dozen collars 4 know
that circus IS about to begin and l
prepare accordingly. After supper he
goes upstairs t. try them on and L take
a seat on the lower step. knowing full
NSll the part / am to play. For a
couple OF minutes all is quiet. Then !
hear the mutter of distant rhunder.
lOilnWel BY an exclamation of:
By the great horn spoon, but II I
had hat man here I'D murder himl''
About sixty seconds Later his head
ap ears over the banister and he shouts:
Mrs BOwSer, come up here,'
hats wan edg''
Come up hereI Look at those col
lars. will youI''
whats the matter?'r
Matter, That internal shirtmaker
ought to be seal ell l told him No.
10, and he has made them all No 2O,'-
'NOnsen~el Here's the stamp on
them, and they are all right. Try one
on"
he buttons one on and they fit splen.
dldly- Indeed, he never had such fit.
lie looks IN the glass, however, grows
red IN the face and shouts:
Look at i'll I'll kill tat man before
noon to morrcwl He has done it to
spite mel''
Mr. Bowser, that collar is all right.
ou ntd never one that set"
Right RIghtl Look at it hunch
up in the back! See how it sets III
front! Observe how it was saving at
my ears! You want me to look ike a
baboon, don't youI I'll walk in on
that shlrtmakey after breakfast to-moi-
row morning, and If L don't slam the
buttons off'n him then I'm liarI''
But L can't see anything wron :
about them"
mo, of course nOtl II they made ms
look like baked owl you couldn't see
anything out of the wayl Mrs. Bows-r
I've got 10 have long talk with you.
There are some things which must be
settled
And the next morning he put on one
of the collars without word and there
is never any fault-inding. They We're
a tit and all right, but he wouldn't be
an average husband II he didn't growl
and OK 1t Is when his new shirts
come up that the whole menagerie IS
put on exhibition free gratis. They in
vaTiubly come up OF a Saturday night,
and he wants to put one on for Sunday
wear. | know what is coming, and
take my baby over TO my mothers and
give the cook liberty 10 20 out for the
the magazine eNplOdeS-
Mrs. Bowserv' he shouts over the
banister-
"Weu?''
did Lynch bring home my shotgun
iasi nightg''
what 90 you want OF a shotgun?r
TO kill the Internal IDIOT who made
these shirtsl III have his life before
the sun sets to-nightl III murder him
right t.efore his wife and childrenl''
"Why, Mr.. BJwSerl What the mat
ter with tile shirt>?''
''IatteTl IL yeIIs, as he jumps up
and down. holding one OF the lot AT
arms length; everything Is the mat
teri Nv ia q is fifteen inches scaut,
and he has maize those 400 rods long!
Look at that bosom! Look at th-
yoke. I'll follow that mau To the end
Of the earth but what III have his
bloOd!''
why, they look all right to me
The baud Is stuff w.th starch, You
know"
IN stifIen that idiot with something
besides starch People impose on me
because l never kick, but the worm Las
turned at Last. l suppose III lie seat
I, state PRISON for life, but that shan't
stanI IN tile way OF my revenge"
Put on another and III come u
and see what the trouble is
Ten minut later lie calls, and l go
up To nud him red in the face and
breathing hard: l button the shirt in
the lack, pull It down aud it fits him
like a glu,e; but all of sudden he
gives "A Jump, waves his hand after the
manner of Boot and exclaimS:
''YesI I'll hunt him down and crush
th,. life out or himl"
Mr.. Bowser there's nothing wrong
with this shirt. You never had one 10
hit you better"
'Nothirg wrongI Why, it feels as II
/ had put on an old coffee sack, LOOK
at the way It punches up in the neck
See how il binds on the shoulders L
wouldn't be found dead with this shirt
on"
well, as said before, 1 cant see
anything wrong with IL"
sOn. YOU can'tl Anything IS good
enough for me, L suppose II some
fool sent me up a sheet-iron shirt you'd
think 1t WAS allligEt- You can go
doNn stairs.
But aren't we going to church,"
Church. DON'T say church to me!
I'm going out to cou NIT murder"
ABBOTT dinner time he feels easier
and after supper his indignation has
passed away. Next morning he puts
II one of his SHIRTS, and II isn't week
b focr he is bragg ng of the perfect NJ
1t is the same about any other gar
ment he buys. y few weeks ago ne
wanted a coat. lie elected the goods,
got measured by leading tailor, AM
they made him try it on twice to bs
- 81
IN rood time, and just as We were max
ING ready to GO to a card party. He at
once decided TO wear Il, but had scarce
liz united the bundle when he eXcla m
ID:
the sap-headed so1 of the goose,
INT | don't believe this is the goois L
picked up"'
You said you got diagonal, and this
- that sort of CLOTH l replied as IN
Lint he's lined it with cambricl"
"Why, no he hasn't Ihls IS serge
Incl. That's what is commonly used.
m. nm it O.. and the ut was absolute
1v n.rtect but he hunched up onc
shoulder and then the other an"
LIS too short WASTED. I told Hun
J,.Zsn lines over to lock out To-
..-The waist Is all right, my dear
Won never had nicer tt-
sBut it's TOO short six inches TOO
.h,rt The wall-eyed idiot, but dozen |
Ts knew enough TO read figures on a
.sNir. Bowser, the length is all right;
. ,siI Won this coat can't be Improved
on LOO,
Isn't the collar too high: