The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1890-12-28

accompaniment-to make the voyage,
and who then attempts to piece out his
salary by smuggling into our cold and
rather puritanical city the immodest
photographs of those young people in
Paris who ought to be ashamed of them
selves.
It is indeed a most sorrowful and pa
thetic job, it seems to me, to do the dis
agreeable chamberwork on board a
somewhat pitchy and rolly steamer a
week over and week back in order to
clear $9.37 on these pictures of parties
who ought to be draped in something
Opaque and then shot.
How would you like to be young
man with hopes for the future, and folks
at home who felt an interest in you, to
make the voyage as steward, possibly
not feeling very well yourself, yet en-
joying the most robust health compared
with those under your charge; then after
all this to return to your native land and
hop gayly into the arms of a special
agent, who removes from your inside
pocket package of French art that
would bring a blush to the brow of
Pixies Peak?
Frequently people show most mex
cusable ignorance of the laws regarding
dutiable goods, and thus make them
selves and others much unnecessary
trouble A nabob from Venezuela
sneaked into this port some years ago
with $50 pieces of rich jewelry concealed
about his person. He was of course
seized on suspicion and lodged in jail.
He alarmed the government of Vene-
zuela. Prominent officials came post
haste, with their tongues hanging out,
to use figure Of speech, and servants,
attaches and so forth came here from
South America with their coattails ex-
tending forth at right angles to their
persons. The nabob was brought forth
and required to give bonds in the sum
of $4,000, which he did by skinning one
bill off the top of a little roll about the
size of Jumbo's ankle.
This showed that he did not smuggle
because he had to in order to procure
bread to eat. On further examination
it was found that the $50 pieces Of
jewelry were absolutely free all the
time, and that all this agony and ex-
pense and the ignominy and other plain
food incident to month in jail were
entirely uncalled for. This should teach
US always to be honest, at least where it
is so much more healthfl and ecorom-
ical.
Every month, think it is, there is a
sale of unclaimed goods at the custom
house. If not called for after The ex-
piration of five years, if l am not mis-
taken, these goods are sold at auction.
1t is great fun to watch this sale, for
each buyer gets his pig in poke. Of
course there is a valuation written upon
it, but that may be over or under the
/ true valuation.
At the last sale a poor man-who will
no doubt be a wealthy man before he
dies if he should work it right-bought
a package of bird skins, for taxiderming
purposes, dare say. He bought them
for fifty cents, the price for bird skins
being a little depressed that day, and the
quotations closing extremely weak and
! enervated. The poor man took his bird
skins home, and undid the packthread
bywhich they were secured. He showed
them to several people, one of whom
offered him So for them. Then another
who offered him $40. Finally he was
offered 500 for the fifty cent bird skins
by thorough taxidermist, and while
the owner was chewing straw anC
thinking whether or not he would talt
that or wait for $500 an officer cam,
along and seized them.
When was at the custom house thi
man had just made the rounds of th'
whole business, from the janitor up t.
the collector, and like Mr.. O'Flaherty
who went all the way from the basemen
Of the water works commission up t,
the mayor with the tale that his name
was O'Flaherty; that he controlled thirt,
votes; that the water pipes busted in hi
cellar and killed all his hens, and that h
desired damages, was met by the mayo
with the heart breaking interrogatory