The morning call., 1890-09-29
HOW MEN BUY WELLS,
While Young Ladies Laugh at
Their Selections.
An Insurance Man Suffers While Purchasing
Some Gauze for His Wife in Fancy
Goods store-Working Up Courage.

"DO you know how much moral courage
man requires to go into Kearny-street
fancy goods store on a Saturday afternoon
and buy a veil for his wifeP" asked prom
inent insurance man of friend the other
day, while standing at a downtown bar.
Well-Pm sure-I can't say positively"
was the hesitatiDg reply, though mamma
up home, has made me run the gauntlet in
Just such an experience
"When mans married." continued the
man of risks and losses" he's to take all as
it comes, it seems. Now, look at me. Am
| madY'
The friend viewed him half-inquiringly,
half-laughingly.
Its out of my line, old boy. Not an In
sane Commissioner, you know"
They laughed again, and the insurance
agent beckoned to the bartender. But his
laugh was forced and grim.
Whats wrong?" inquired the other,
who is a well-known physician on Kearny
street. "You are not the same as usual to-
day."
An explanation, evasive aud not altogether
truthful was given, and they drank each
others health second time.
"Walk down the street," said the agent,
have you along"
They strolled or rather lodged along the
crowded sidewalk, and without word the
agent turned into a store the mysteries of
which have been explored by few men.
always excepting the affable goods clerk,
who can tell so much of the fOlbleS and Pc
cuiiaritieS of women.
THEY WE'RE BASHFUL.
The doctor stood aghast. He was aston
ished.
What in the name Of everything do you
want in here? Come out of this" And
he turned startled. restless eye upon the
throngS of pretty girls whose smiling faces
were all turned toward him and his compan-
ion with an exasperatingly mischieyous ex-
preston. The voice of clerk asking, well
gentlemens, what can we show youY'
brought the disconnected twain back to a
reasonable state of mental quietude.
Hem, hem," grunted the doctor; what
the deuce do you want, sir?"
In fact the doctor was angry at finding
himself in such dilemma
The agent week and gentle as a lamb,
and throwing frightened shy glances all
about him, walked close to the clerks right
ear.
Where can 1 buy lady's veil?" was all
he said in a lowy voice.
"Ihis way, gentlemens; you go through
one more passage, and one more after that
to your left, and then go find the wells, ex-
actly opposite you, isn't 1t pr
Hay as the direction was the agent took
his friends reluctant arm and waded
through the labyrinth of passages frllS,
counters, and the same maze of mischievous
faces. At last they reached the right place,
where more ladies were seated buying
beauty-dots" The two estrays took
seats side by side and assumed airs which
were meant to tell the wondering ladies,
1--WE are not bashful."
BOUGHT HADING Wells.
The clerks looked knowingly at each
other and then at the boxes on the shelf.
and smiled. Meanwhile the agent bought
everything in sight-veils out of fashion
almost since Nine. Hading was here with
the French comedy company-and apoogned
profusely to the physician.
~ had to do it he began, eonfidentially.
" could never come in here alone. To tell
the truth. passed the house twice and was
about going home when met you, and only
for the few drinks that gave me courage L
would not have faced this anyhow"
But whatever put it into your head to
bother with wells? Your wife wont wear
anything that you are buyiug-I know she
wont"
"She will"
She wont, l tell you again."
That's all right. What bring home is
Now, / tell you again, your trouble is for
i-nothlng. DO you ever look at lady's veil
Why, what woman will put on that purple
thing with green beads? or that black lace
with steel beads? or the other there with
two white bands at the top and bottom? All
blank nonsense. But what induced you to
come here? You have not been drinking,
eh?"
The idea of going into fancy-goods store
on jolly freak was positively staggering.
and at last the agent told the story of his
woes.
''MY WIFE TELEPHoNED."
"You see, when was about leaving my
Office for the evening got telephone mes
sage from my wife asking me to step into
some store and buy her veil. 1 forget
which kind, and to be certain l am getting
an assortment If she is not pleased with
hand proudly over mass of gauzy mate
rial-'she may blame herself.
How much moral courage does it really
require to come in here and buy wells, alone
and utterly soberY
Once more loud laugh arose from the
couple. who by this time felt quite at home I.
1T is not so bad as buying baby-clothes
when mamma is SICK" iDterposed the doc
tor, with another laugh. I've had to buy
baby-clothes when every girl in town was
watching me. L depended on the clerk
merely asked him what the ladies bought"
"Oh, yes; by the way" interrupted the
agent What kind of wells do ladies buy
now?'
You have me there was the clerks la
comic answer. If lady wanted a veil she
would first look at everything on that coun-
ter and the shelves, and may be then she
would say: 81 don't see what l want" and
walk out. She noticed something on an
other lady and fanccd it. They take the
cake. What you have just bought would
keep me going half day if the purchaser
were lady,"
The agent went home with his wells su-
premey happy.