River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1890-09-25
PITH AND POINT.

The man that can't sing and won't
sing deserves the sincere thanks of a
musical community. -SomerviIe Jour
nal.
Happiness never comes when it is
sought 1t simply loafs lazily in the
shade. and lets people tire themselves
out hunting for it.-Somervilie Journal.
"A serious need in these days is a
gas meter that is intelligent enough to
know when the family is at the seaside
and honest enough to say so.-Bingham-
ton Leader
Does Jour husband attend church
regularly. Mrs. Trotter?" inquired the
new minister 20, yes" Mrs. Trotter
answered He goes once a year regu-
larly."-N. Y. Herald
THAT was an appropriate flower
Lord Impecune wore when he was mar
ried 10 Virginia Boodel." Il had not
heard OF it. What was it?" "A mari
gold. -IIarper's Bazaar.
Stanley says that sunshine in Africa
looks like moonlight That's about the
way it looks right here at home to
good many people, when business don't
go right Rams Horn.
-Stranger-'Why are those police
men hurrying around the corner?" Citi-
zen--'There is going to be a fight"
Where? Around the oorner?" NO, it
is going to be here" N. Y. World.
-Scribbler-'I am going 20 make
trouble for that fellow, Pennibs. Here
be has published one Of my poems over
his own signature" Scrawley II
wouldn't make any fuss, old man. II
he can stand it you ought to- America.
Mrs. Wickwire-''If you go first you
will wait for me on the other shore,
won't yOu. dear?" Mr. Wickwire-'I
suppose so. | never went anywhere
yet without having to wait for you at
least half in hour. "-Terre Haute Ex-
press.
-Cunso (despairinglyl What on
earth made you get divorce when you
were in Chicago" Mrs Cunso-"Real-
ly, dear, they were selling them so
cheap-in fact they we're going at
bargain, and | couldn't resist buying
one. The Epoch.
Where do you get your cigars.
Bromley?" Way do you want to
know that? You've always bIackguard-
ed them so.' Il want to know because
my wife objects to tobacco smoke, and
I've got to smoke something. Louis
vile Courier-Journal.
How much do you pay your sons
tutor? ?" Two thousand marks and
board. | know that seems great deal,
hut . -
you sec, l make him play cards with
me every evening. so l get il pretty
much all back again" - Fliegende
Blatter.
--OverwOrked Housewife-"I wish TO
get a servant" Employment Agent
well, madam, we have some elegant
ones VINO wish a trip to Europe, some
less desirable who would summer at
Saratoga, and a few cheap ones who do
not object to Long Branch. Which do
you prefer?"-N. Y. Weekly
-Poet-'I don't see how you have
the cheek to charge seventy-fiye dollars
for that suit" Tailor-''Ny name is
worth something, sir" Poet drawing
his check -''Well, I'll take it." Tailor
But this check is for fifty dollars
only" Poet know it-but my name
is worth something. IN. Y. Sun.
-Dashley- What kind of time did
YOU have at Malaria Island tins sum
mer?" Cashiey-"Pretty fair; only it's
an awful place for thieves We never
could leave our rooms without locking
Them" Dashley-"You don't say So"
Cashley-''Fact! Why, we even had to
bolt our food all the time we were
there. America.
Young man." said Congressman
to a youth who was employed in the
Capitol Il will tell you frankly that |
can't help feeeng some admiration for
your powers of endurance. I'm what
way, sir?" was the inquiry in tone of
pleasure. 81 saw you stand and puff
cigarette smoke in your own face for at
least half an hour Washington Post
-Winks-''I understand the woman
you are going to marry has been en-
gagged to you for ten years. Jinks-
Yes. You see | am a newspaper writer
by profession, and her proud father said
i could not have his daughter until |
could show him my name at the head
of an article in some great magazine.
Well, | went to work, and soon got an
article accepted, but it was ten years
before it was published. food News.
"A well-known travelling agent for a
Philadelphia carriage paper has carried
off the honors for eating, in this city,
says the Cincinnati Enquirer. At re-
cent meal for himself he consumed two
whole chickens fried Maryland style,
five pounds; one extra porterhouse
steak, ten ears of corn, one dozen toma-
toes sliced with onions, one quart
stewed potatoes. one dozen corn cakes
and three quarts of beer. He was the
only manwho partook of the meal. and
he did not fall into ashes when he
finished.