The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1890-06-21
LATEST FROM THE KICKER.
Our Arizona Contemporary Meets With a
Sad Disaster.

The following is from the last issue
of the A1Iaona hIckcr, which came
out on a half-sheet:
Explanatory-We owe our readers
an apology for the half.sheet we
were obliged to issue this week.
Monday morning, as we entered the
postoffice after our mail-which, by
the way, is five times as large as that
OF any other establishment in Ari-
zona-Mr Wanamakers man Friday,
who was appointed Postmaster
against the protests of nine-tenths of
our people, came out in the corridor
and demanded a personal apology
for what the Kicker said about him
last week. In our pioneer days when
we lived on roots, and hadn't a
second shirt to our back, we used to
get down and crawl whenever re-
quested. We felt that we had to
We were a tenderfoot and lacked
sand. A change came. We haven
been doing any creeping for the last
two years. On the contrary, we
have had the revolver and the other
man has done the four legged act.
Therefore, when Wanamaker' Fri
day demanded an apology and took
us by the ear to enforce obedience,
we lit onto him with weight of two
tons, and had him hollering for mercy
inside Of two minutes. Before letting
him up we took his gun away, and
in some manner it was charged and.
the bullet went through the palm of
our right hand. The wound will
prevent our using the pen for some
weeks and we must dictate our copy,
More Observation-Disclosures
man Friday has a brother named
Jim, who is loafer and a cur from
way back. We stated last week that
we believed he stole money letters
from the mails, and the statement
seems to have put some "git" into
him. After we had licked his brother
and got back to the office Jim came
sneaking down the street and fired
at us through window He had
shotgun but he fired so high that no
one was touched, and he was out of
sight before we got to the door. In
few days we are going on a hunt
for Jim. We shall locate him and
slice off his ear and nail it on our
office door. Let him accept this as
fair warning of our intentions. While
he didn't hit us with any of his buck
shot, the idea of such a chukkaloo
firing at US with intent to kill ratified
our nerves and sent us to bed when
we ought to have been getting out
copy.
Further Explanatory-Some three
weeks a wild eyed guyasticutus en-
tered this town by the dirt road and
struck us for "sit." He gave the
name OF ]. Melville Graham, and
claimed to have finished all the brain
fodder for most of the New York
papers for the last ten years. AS he
offered to work for 81 per week and
buy his crackers and cheese from our
grocery, we didn't question him as
closely as we otherwise might. He
had worked two days when he got
hurt, and what did the leopard
brother of hyena do but go off and
get drunk and lay down just where
Col. Haven's drove of mules would
run over him in going to water! He
was trampled out Of sight into the
sand, and on top of our other trou-
bles we had to hire him dug out and
buried. But for his kickover we
could have issued full sheet and got
it out on time. We've had him
carted off to one corner of our pri-
vate burying ground, and shall mark
his grave, but we don't mourn.
The Latest-If our readers are not
satisfied with the above explanation
we have another which we will fire at
them. Owing to our wounded hand
we could not do a stroke of writing.
We could dictate, however, and we
hired young Bill Ellis, son of old
reprobate Ellis, to act as our amanu-
ensis. We had dictated about half
a column when he differed with us
on how to spell cordial. He in
sisted that it was "corjul," and rather
than see the English language
knocked out we ceased debating,
fired Bill out, and gave an old tramp
$40 and told him to go ahead and
run out half sheet. It's all we could
do under the circumstances, and we
beg heindulgence ofour subscribers.
Next week we shall be all right, and
we promise an issue of the Kicker
which will make the sand fly in fifty
directions.