davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
DeSoto times. (Hernando, Miss.) 1879-1898, 1890-02-06
A FORTY-DOLLAR JOKE.
How a Washington Doctor Punished Ons
of His Tormentors.


If prominent physician over in the
Northwest hasn't got even with one
practical joker then it doesn't lie in the
telling The physician lives in very
modern establishment Not only is
there special night-bell, but a speak
ing tube connects the door-steps with
the head of his bed, The prac ctical joker
has had fun with this. He has been
coming along about 1870 a. m. and stand
ing on the opposite corner and laughing
until his sides ached, thinking how funny
he was and what good time he was
having. Then he would cross over and
ring the night-bell, and howl up the
speaking tube as if whole regiment Of
nothers-in-law on the next block had
tcn-minute cholera and were dying by
the wagon-load. And the poor, tired
doctor would rouse out of his first sweet
sleep and hello down the tube. Then
the funny man would SLY:
"Does DR.. j live here?"
"Yes."
"Have you lived here long?"
For twenty years. Who are you?
what the blazes do you want?'
"Just want to know why you don't
move. That's all. Ia! ta!'
And then the funny man bounces
down into the street and scoots home,
where he laughs for half an hour
straight.
He didn't laugh half so much the
other night. The doctor was loaded for
fun. He knew that laugh and that
veil, and he stuck funnel in the tube
and poured in two quarts of equafortis,
indelible ink, liquid lye, and a few
chemical whiffs of torment. 1t gargle6
and gurgled for one second and then
struck Dofunny in the mug just as he
opened his mouth for another howl. 1t
came with a thirty-foot fall and a ten
pound pressue to the square inch.
He swallowed a pint before he could
get his mouth shut, and the impromptu
hose played away all over his face and
silk hat, and shirt front, and dress suit.
1t was roof-raiser, and curled him like
a cockroach on hot shovel.
1t will cost the doctor $40 for plum bing,
but he grins every time he thinks of il
Washington Post.
DeSoto times. (Hernando, Miss.) 1879-1898, 1890-02-06

American wild turkeys have been sue.
cessfully acclimatized in Austria on that
norton of the estate of Count Bremen
which is known as the Danubian mead
ows, and great focks of them are to be
seen in his forests. About the middle
of the last century there was a vast
flock of wild turkeys in Windsor Forest
which had been introduced by William,
Duke of Cumberland, from Richmond
Park, where, during the reigns of Anne
and George l., there were thousands OF
these birds. The Richmond flock was
destroyed by poachers, and that at
Windsor gradually became extinct, the
last-known birds having been devoured
at "The Cottage" during the reign OF
George ", but about that period there
was flock at Holkham, which Lord
Leicester established. 1t is said that a
brown Norfolk turkey may be made to
resemble the American wild bird in
color and favor by cramming it with
walputs, soaked in water, for week be
fore it is killed World.
DeSoto times. (Hernando, Miss.) 1879-1898, 1890-02-06
HISTORY OF DOLLS.
The Popular Figures Have Amused the
World for Ages.

| "Orlu 1Or Ages
Dolls have amused the world for ages
| and seem to have been well known in
| the days of the Pharaohs; for, in the
tombs of ancient Egypt, figures of paint
ed wood, of terra Gotta, of ivory and of
rags have been found, whose limbs
were made movable for the delight Of
| children.
In the ruins of Etruria similar toys
have been discovered, and in China, as
we'll as in India, movable figures were
made to act from time immemorial by
hand and on strings, or as shadows be
hind curtain.
The ancient Greeks were experts in
the manufacture of puppets, including
wax dolls, and several of their poets al.
lude to offerings of dolls to Artemis and
Aphrodite, made by maidens before
their marriage.
Dolls were evidently first intended to
| amuse children, but the adults soon
adopted them as source of entertain
ment Puppet shows were all the rage
in Europe in the sixteenth century, ar
irving at such perfection that the per-
formances rivaled in attraction those Of
living actors.
Whether or not any dolls were brought
over by the Puritans is not known, but
it seems unlikely. Those grim fellows
would not have tolerated such folly.
Yet, as the Mayfower came from a
Dutch port, there may have been some
smuggled. Dutch children, for cent
uries, have had the best dolls the world
affords
However, the Puritans did not succeed
in making many converts in their anti
doll crusade, because, at the present.
day, millions of dolls are brought across
the ocean every year to American chill
dren, not to mention the millions THAI
are manufactured in this country
In Covington, KY, is the largest doll
factory in the United States, and there
are many other establishments in the
Eastern States. But the most dolls,
and, we are sorry to have to say it, the
best dolls are imported, and the Amer
can children contribute about two mill
ions of dollars every year to Europe for
dolls.
There are some very fine dolls made in
England, but the very finest come from
France and Germany, and they are made
with degree of perfection most sur
prising. Even cheap dolls can close
their eyes and say papa" and 'mamma." "
For a little more money you car buy a
creeping doll or walking doll. Then
there are dolls that sing-only the mu-
sic, of course-and the very latest doll
is provided with phonograph, and will
recite prose and poetry.
Germany is famous for the manufact-
IRE of toys and dolls, and the small
town of Sonncbcrg, in the ThuringiaD
forest alone produces articles for the
amusement of children to the value of
S15O.000 yearly.
German ladies are expertdOll dressers,
and there is a yearly Christmas eXhibi'
tion of dolls at Berlin. A great deal is
made of this Berlin doll exhibition, and
society turns out in large numbers to
patronize it.
There are whole towns in Germany
that do little else but make dolls for
American children. They are mostly
simple country folk. They get small
pay for making even an excellent doll;
but it must be remembered that their
wants are few.--Golden Days.
DeSoto times. (Hernando, Miss.) 1879-1898, 1890-02-06
FACTS ABOUT SHOES.
Not Less Than 100 100000 Pairs Worn
Annually in This Country.

Not Less Than 100 100000 Pairs Worn
Annually in This Country.
In 1857 there were about G0,00O 90C
pairs of shoes made in this land, two
thirds of them in Massachusetts. In
Philadelphia the product was greater
in money than in Lynn, S5,&00,O0o,
against 81, 500, 900, but there were moro
pairs turned out in the latter than in
the former city, for the Lynn goods
we're made at the lowest price. In
Haverhill were made at that period ST..
10000 worth of shoes NatiCk was
famous for its brogans Spencer for its
boots, and there were numerous other
places in which there were manuGaCt-
u1ers who achieved renown and aC
quired pelf by their popular specialtiesin
footwear, Many changes have occurred
in the interval, Russell brogans, which
were made before the.war in large guam
titles, have given place to finer quail.
ties, and have literally disappeared
The long-legged boots, in which Wey'
mouth, Abingdon and the South Shore
towns eXceled, are in little request; con-
sumers have acquired more delicate
tastes, and insist on having something
slightly as we'll as durable. They are,
moreover, undoubtedly more prodigal in
their use of shoes than they were for
merly, which may be accounted for by
the low figures at which they buy them,
and by the fact that cobblers have been
done away with. There are not less
than $50, 1000, 900 pairs of shoes worn an
nnally in this country.-l'oot and Shoe
Reporter,
DeSoto times. (Hernando, Miss.) 1879-1898, 1890-02-06
FULL OF FUN.

-otill Ahead. He 'T've &c. a broth.
er a perliceman." Shc-"Dat's muffin
I've got r brother nangel. Life.
Hes very plain in his speech;
Always calls spade spade" 'Faith
III ne be rank Quill liar av' he called
" Shpade rake."-Munsey's Weekly.
Plano rccitals are easily enough
managed, One has only to learn piano,
hlre hall, and recite it. If it makes
people tired that is not the fault of the
plano,-N. o. Picayune.
"A scientific sharp has discovered
that the earth weighs 500 $50 OOO OoO,
ooO,OOo. But don't bet on it. The
scientist may have weighed it on a coal
neater's scales which weigh only 1, SOC
pounds to the ton.-Drake's Magazine.
An Unlucky Man.-A.-"Have YOU
ever had any experience in love afTairs?"
B'-"Well, | should say had. In love
am the unluckiest of mortals. Ali the
girls that l loved, and even some that ]
hadn't begun to love yet, were gobbled
up by other fellows and married."-
Texas Siftings.
Manufacturer Ito his Office boy, who
persistently sets the clock backward in
the morning and forward during the
lunch hour)-'I can't understand why
the clock is always behind when I ar
rive at the Office and ahead when leave
IT." Office Boy Gnnocently)-'I reckon
1t thinks it ought to hustle while you're
here, sir. "-Jewelers' Weekly.
What are yer doin', you youn,
rascal?' said farmer to a remarkably
small boy, on finding him standing
under a tree in his orchard with an
apple in his hand. 'Ploaso sir, / was
only goin' to put this ere apple back on
the tree, sir; it had fallen down, SIR
Judge.
Mrs. Donahue-"Phats this o.
hear, Missus Magnify, about yez two
gyurls givin' German? Is that SOP
Mrs. Maginty-"Dade an it is. Kate
and Mary Ann must kape up wild sassie'
ty, dye moind?' Mrs. Donahue-"T
loikes O. yez givin' a German. Bcgorra,
it's nothin' but atfectation. Ply don't
yez give an Oirish and be done wild it?'
America.
-Dumley (overtal1ing Lumley on his
way home to dinner)-"AFen'tyou rath.
or late tonight Lumley?" Lumley-
"Yes-washerwom - -washcrwoman-
washerwoman. Two had hard days
-washerwoman." Dumley-"What
are you mumbling 'washorwoman for?"
Lumley-''So that shan't forget to adj
vertise for a washerwoman in this after.
Moons paper. My wife told me to keep
repeating washerwoman, and Eve kept
it up all day, and Suddenly by thun'
der if l didn't forget it after ALL
Yankee Blade.
Proprietor (at telephone)-"Hello,
central. What seems TO be the matteri
l have been trying for the last half hom
to get you. Give me one-naught-tive.'
Waits ten minutes longer and no an
swer.) Dear, dear, this telephone putt
me all out of patience. Here, Thomas,
call up one-naught-fve, and wait till
you get it." Office boy giving handlea
vigorous whirD-"Hullo-hullo! Say
central watts achin' you? Why don't
you git us one-ought-fve, hay? Come,
now, git on rush there and shake EN-
up or we'll drop onto you from de roof
and paralyzo you!" Central (obse'
quiously)-"Yes, sir, I'll connect you
right away; excuse delay, please.
DeSoto times. (Hernando, Miss.) 1879-1898, 1890-02-06
INCREASE OF LIFE.


sects and Crustaceans.
According to the naturalists, scor,
pion will produce 65 young; common
fly will lay IA eggs, leach $50, and a
spider 10. A hydrachna produces 600
eggs and a frog LOO. A female moth
will produce LOO eggs, and tortoise
1000. A gall insect has laid 50, 600 eggs;
shrimp, 5000; and 10000 have beer
found in the ovary of an ascaris.
One naturalist found over $4,000 eggs
in a lobster, and another over 2l,000D
An insect very similar to an ant (HW1Ha)
has produced so, 900 eggs in a single day
and Lcuwcnhoeck seems TO compute 4,
900, 600 to the crabs share.
Many fishes produce an incredible
number of eggs, More than $4,000 have
been counted in herring: 5000 in a
smclt; 1, 900, 900 in sole; 1,130,00 in a
roach; 5000, 900 in a sturgeon; 342, 600 in
a carp; 3S3, 600 in q tench; 546 900 in a
mackerel 992, 900 ina perch, and 1851
900 in founder. But of all the fishes
hitherto discovered, the cod seems to be
the most prolific
One naturalist computes that this
fish produces more than 1856, 900 eggs,
and another as many as 0,444, 200. A
rough calculation has shown that, were
one per cent of the eggs of the salmon
to result in full-grown fish, and were
they and their progeny to continue to
increase in the same ratio, they would,
in about sixty years, amount in bulk to
many times the size of the earth. Nor
is the salmon the most prolific ofspecies.
In yellow perch weighing 80 ounces
have been counted 9,943 eggs, and in a
smelt ten inches and half in length,
%. al.
An interesting experiment was made
in Sweden in 1761, by Charles f. Lund.
He obtained from 50 female Dreams B.,
100, 900 young; from 100 female perch,
8,215. 900 young; and from 100 female
mullcts, 10000 young.--United Pres
byterian.
DeSoto times. (Hernando, Miss.) 1879-1898, 1890-02-06
THE GIFT OF CORN.
Legend Telling How Corn Was Given to
the Red Men.


The following legend, which processes
to tell how that valuable plant maize,
Or Indian corn, was given to the Indians
has much more purpose than story
from the Arabian Nights" 1t was re.
lated by Nabunwa to Mr.. George John.
ston. When the Ottawas were driven
from the beautiful Manitouln islands,
In Lake Huron, by the Iroquois, their
magician, Mass s-wa-we-in-ini, remained
behind.
One day Mass -wa-wei mini was cross.
ing wide plain when he was accosted
by little man with red feather on his
head.
Where are you going?" asked the lit.
tie man, cheerily, and invited the ma
gician to smoke with him. Pray" said
he, as they smoked, wherein does your
strength lie?"s -
"My strength" answered Mass-wa-we
mini, ''is that of the human family, Nc
more"
1--WE must wrestle," said the man Of
the red Feather. IF you should make
me fall, you will say to me, i have
thrown you, Wa-ge-me-na."
So they wrestled, and for time tho
strife was doubtful, and Mass-wa- vein.
mi feared for himself, the little man
was so active; but at length he threw
him to the ground,
Il have thrown you, Wa-ge-ma-na"
he cried, and at that instant his op.
pOnent vanished into the earth.
On looking at the spot where the lit
tie man disappeared Mass-wa-we-in-ini
discovered crooked ear of m0ndamin
(lndian CORN lying on the ground, with
the usual red, hairy tasscl at the top.
While he gazed he heard a voice say:
''Divest me of my covering and reveal
my body. Separate me into parts, and
cast me upon the plain. Return ther
in one moon"
Mass-wa-we-in-ini obeyed these direc-
tions, and when, at the eXpira tion of
the moon, he came again to the wres-
Ting place, he found the spikes and
blades of young corn, and where he had
thrown the cob pumpkin vines were
growing luXuriantly.
A voice addressed him from the corn.
field: "MaSs-wa-we-in-ini,y you conquered
me. Had you not done so. your life would
have been forfeited. Victory has crowned
your strength, and from hencoforth my
body shall give nourishmcnt to the hui
man race"
Thus the Ottawas received the gift OF
corn, and they have ever been noted for
their fine crops of this grain, and from
their custom of trading in Indian corr
this tribe was called Ottawas.-Youth's
CODOanipn
DeSoto times. (Hernando, Miss.) 1879-1898, 1890-02-06
.ur PROBLEM ANSWER ED.
AN Eastern FABLE.

:. ,,om Athens, who was want to please
~ aas lone. once travelled out OF Greece
M %nngbt I no other folks SO wise and
grand b,s not,vo land
,.Dderlng to that city, the worlds best
gem, ,, ,oaio.
OUn ui,god each one he met day after day,
gtne old, well known, Socrtic way.
,,rcb he boosted of his Attic wit,
thoupht jew, of course. had not a bit
..ontal shrewdness-such was his con-
ceit-
IlHlc boy said he, "here is mite;
rarv hungry, and want bite;
! n some food, all gou and I can eat,
have some left to give upon the street."
bov received the mite, and found q
store,
I sol an ounce of salt, or something more; !;
A; is the food," he said, "for us to-day
ECR for tho, and some to gice a'cay"
Joel Benton, in n. Y. Ledger.
DeSoto times. (Hernando, Miss.) 1879-1898, 1890-02-06
ART IN ARCHITECTURE.
The World Wide Passion for Adaptation
and Hybridization.

| and Hybridization.
| Architectural forms, like letters Of the
| alphabet, seem perpetually to have beer
| borrowed from one nation by another.
| Each borrows what it can assimilate and
throws away the rest, the assimilated
portion undergoing Transforming proc
ess by which, in the course Of time,
new and remarkable forms are evolved.
| Hellas borrows from Asia Minor;
Etruria, from Hellas; Rome, from
Etrutia and Hellas; Mohammcdan mos
! ques seem the beautiful and incrcdiablc
offspring of Roman byzantine colon
nades and basilcas, flushed with dreams
of Bagdad; and Gothic cathedrals spread
their mantelS of point-lace over apsc5
and naves and roofs reminiscent
of both Greece and Rome. In
architecture, however, tbs Romans
were more discriminating bor-
rowers than they showed themselves
in sculpture. They stole the jewels Of
the Egyptians, but they transformed
them. OF the three orders Of Greek
temple architecture-DoriC, Ionic and
COrinthian-so clearly outlined by Mr..
Sturgis in his ''Arch~ologist in Greece
the Romans adopted all, but domesti-
Gated only one. Like some rare orchid,
the Corinthian style alone with its
1oriated capital took root at once in
Italian soil, grew and fOurishcd there
wonderfully. and developed CriGinalitics
and graCes of its own unknown to the
honeysucklc and notwithstanding Greeks.
The severe Doric, the graceful volutcd
Ionic with its whorl-like capitals and
curves rccur again and again in Roman
structures, but so coarse, so material
tzed, 50 unspiritual and barbaric that
they more frequently resemble Carica-
ture Of the Greek ideas than transplant
ings Ofdelicate exotic flowers. In tranSlit-
Grating the Ionic and Doric styles into
their own architectural speech, the Ro-
mans came upon a language which they
lid not understand. and there surviyeOf
these attempts only such stammering
interpretations as the temple of For
tuna Nirilis (Ionicl and the barbarous
theatCr of Marcellus lDoricl The RO-
mans carried their passion for adapta-
tion and hybridi2ation even into the do
main of the gods, taking the lovely
Corinthian and Ionic capitals Of the
Greeks and combining them in many
striking and fanciful forms. This was
the origin of the Composite style-a
style blending Ionic Spirals with ,orln-
THAN aCanthus leaves in the capitals,
with many novel ana ingenious arrange
mentS OF the shafts, drums and fIlcts.
FROM the Roman capital indeed
Sprouted lnnumerabLe variations on
the picturesque creek orlgInaI' they
sparkIed with blazing acanthuS
leaves OF gilt and Drohzoi heaoS OF
ANIMALS, human lgures' armoF' exotic
follage, Surmouhted ShattN ana columhN'
no longer huteo IN oehcale grooves out
carved or caDlcd or wrought Win leal
and hover ike an arcnlt'cJur"I mower
garden gone wild; ana no TWO homan
Corlnthlan temples would be construed
IN the same terms OF were NuHlcIehJIy
DeSoto times. (Hernando, Miss.) 1879-1898, 1890-02-06

The naval authorities in England
who have advocated big guns are lament
inp under a huge wet blanket Two
Hilton guns were constructed tor tne ae
warship Victoria, at a cost OF $9o' o'oou
each, with an additional cost OF Sloo'oVo
for cartridges and machinery to WORK
them. They were built to throw pro
iectiles weighing 1,s0O pounds eacn
While being tested, both guns COZ
lapsed.
DeSoto times. (Hernando, Miss.) 1879-1898, 1890-02-06
RUSSIAN DISCIPLINE.
It Beats the Boosted German Army Ar.
ticIe Al Hollow.

lt DeaLS Ine bOHstcu 'tEihhh army fi'
ticle Al Hollow.
A German was boasting in the pres
ence of some Russians about the obedl'
ence and discipline of the German army
citing numerous instances from the wal
between France and Germany.
"Gentleman, replied one OF the Rus
slams, "what you ssay'labout the disci'
pline in the German army amounts to
nothing at all when compared with what
occurs continually in the Russian army
But will merely recite one instance OF
what occurred at the beginning of the
reign of the Gar Nicholas, when the
discipline in the Russian army was COM
paratively lax. At that time, before
the telegraph was discovered, the Rus
SLAMS used signal stations, which were
few miles apart. The soldier made a
signal which was repeated by the SOL
der at the next station, and thus the
news was conveyed thousands of miles
zone day a soldier at a station near
St. Petersburg did not see the signal IN
time, and dreading the punishment that
awaited him for negligence, deliberate
lv hung himself on the signal tower
The soldier at 5he next station mistook
this for a signal, 50 he deliberately
but promptly hung himself, also
In consequence of the discipline which
prevails in the Russian army, next
day it was discovered that all the
soldiers at the signal stations from st.
Petersburg to Warsaw had hung them
selves on their signal towers. OF course
a much stricter discipline prevails at
present, and"
"That will do" replied the German.
81 give it p."-Texas Siftings.
DeSoto times. (Hernando, Miss.) 1879-1898, 1890-02-06
rTbe Firms Name Was on the Door

Where did you buy your new dress
Bridget?" asked lady in suburban
Roybury the other day of her newly-im
ported domestic
cat Push & Pulls store on Washing
ton street it was, mama" replied the
girl.
Q "Push G. Pull's?" qderied the mis-
tress. 81 really do not recall such
store in Boston. Are you not mistaken
as to the name?"
81 think not, ma'ma," said Bridget
confidently. SAT any rate, that's fwha
Il said on the door. Boston Letter.
DeSoto times. (Hernando, Miss.) 1879-1898, 1890-02-06

Deduct from above commission
to secretary("S sharp fellow that,
by the way, "parenthetically So
llloquized NJ Dorr), at 80 francs ON
Der box 900 - ,'''''' wv
TO purchase of gold snuff boxes
:, from their owners at2,00O francs -, ooo
eacn. ........ ,,.,. ''''.. e'N- 20 nn
DeSoto times. (Hernando, Miss.) 1879-1898, 1890-02-06

Tota, - at nrnft ,,,,.,..,.,... So,lUl
Not to mention" pleasantly summed
up the ieweler, that the snuff boxes
are ready for second edition of the lit
tie game, whenever another Pasha nap
mems to come this CHARLES Her
yey. in the Argosy