The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-06-08

follieS which come under my notice.
Still do want 70 say one little word to
the dear girls whom love and admire
so heartily, and it is this:
Keep your place. The time of be-
trothal is the time of your greatest
power and authority, st any rate, unless
as a wife you earn for yourself q place
that many wives never attain. But now,
now while you are promised to this man,
and not yet in his power, while he still
clothes you with the shining robe Of an
ideal, and familiarity has not as yet be-
trayed the fact that you are after all
only an ordinary woman, now, when he
may not be with you at all times, and
spends much Of his absence in reviewing
the last interview, now is the time If
you are wise, and hold yourself steadily
in hand, keeping your own place and
keeping him IN his, that you may estab-
lish yourself in a position with regard 20
this man which you need never Lose.
Don't be cold, or unsympathetic, OF
prudish and old maidisn, for no real man
can enI1re that and keep his love; but
never come down from your throne to
sit at his feet; never lay aside your royal
robes Of maidenly reserve and sensitive
purity: never fail to respect yourself and
you viii never lose his respect, and there
is absolutely no foundation for enduring
love but respect; believe me, for it is true.
Men talk Of liking women whose hearts
outrun their heads, who have no will
0E I,o-,- 10.
hands, ETC., etc; bat although they may
eagerly seek these pretty dolls for an
hour they soon weary of them, and if
they ever marry the wedding day is the
end instead Of the beginning of the love
story. Be wise, my little girl, be wise!
Recognize your own strength and your
own power and make the most of it;
hold yourself back and your lover viii
pursue; remain queen Of your own posi-
ton and he viii make you queen of his;
come down from your own place and lay
yourself at his feet, and he viii rest his
foot upon you, and believe it is the
na5ural and right thing to do.
l have a theory Of my own, that if a
man breaks off his marriage engagement
it is almost always the girls fault. She
has been either too hard or too soft with
him, either chilled him into the convic-
ton that she is hear1less and devoid Of
tenderness, or She has valued herself so
lightly that he has learned to hold very
cheaply what is so lavishly bestowed.
And yet l condemn very seriously the
man who for less than the graVest causes
viii break off his engagement to the girl
he has seriously invited to become his
wife. Nothing is more damaging to
girl in social point Of view than to have
been Tilted, and although she may not
be at all to blame in the matter, or at
most have only shown errors OF judg-
ment and self management, q sort Of
stigma attaches to her in almost every
circle OF society, and another man is less
likely to seek her IN marriage. The man
is not injured, nor are his chances Of
subsequent marriage affected at all.
whether it is ne or she who breaks off
the engagement, and for that reason it
always seems to me that If an engage
ment must be broken the man should
have the chivalry to take the odium of
being discarded upon his own shoulders,
and declare the young lady to have been
the discarder.
I am always SO sorry when I see in the
papers that some girl, OF perhaps some
widow, Is Suing man for breach of
promise of marriage, for l always i'm
agine it TO be the suicidal expression OF
angry pride and wounded love, self love
as well as other love, and that the poor,
hot tempered, desperate creature has
only seized upon the weapon nearest at
hand wherewith to strike at the man she
still loves, and is SO bitterly ashamed of
herself for loving.
One class Of women take to horsewhips,
and one to pistols, ana one to the law,
and one to resolute defamation, and
am sorry for them all, for am sure they
never would so disgrace themselves ex-
cept in the extremity of great suffering,
and l know that in the very nature of
things their revenge, however successful.
will entail more suffering in the end.
And l am sorry, too, for the more digni-
fed and patient victims who say not
word and do not thing, but draw the
robe close over the bleeding wound and
dance, and sing, and smile in calm de-
fance Of their own breaking hearts and
wounded womanhood.
Yes, / pity these, but hardly know
whether pitied lady, now dead, whom
| used to know. She was engaged to q
man whom she not only loved, bot re-
Bpected and admired, and who seemed, |
Is al tbs world said, the one man in the |
world whom she should marry. A noble |
position was offered to him, and he went /
TO Spain TO make arrangements for ac-
cepting it and to prepare home for his |
bride. One of the sudden fevers Of the /
country seized upon his unacchmated /
system, and N three days he was dead
His bride to be made little open /
lament, but In the same day she heard /
the news set of TO visit a sister In 8
distant city. When she came home she /
was dressed in widows weeds, and al /
ways wore them until the Gay Of her I
iearh, some twenty years Later. She was
always cheerful, always silent always .
gently reserved. tender and loving TO
hose who remained, but never pre-
lending 70 any other place than that she
had asEumed-a ws5w n heart If not
q name
II was. perh2ps, the happiest life she
could have ohosen-