Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1890-10-08
THE ARIZONA KICKER.
Things That Try an Editors Soul.

From the Detroit Free Press.
We extract the following from the last issue
of the Arizona Kicker:
APoLoGETICAL-Our subscribers will not fail
TO notice the sad condition of our third page
today. We had the form ready for press when
judge Gilbert our popular and esteemed cir
cult judge, called at the Office in a drunken
condition, and in his attempt 70 hug us to
prove his affection he knocked the form into
''pi" We hadn't time To reset the matter and
so had to leave the page blank. While we are
sorry, it il not our fault. We can't even pitch
INTO the judge about it. He not only ewes us
$50 borrowed money but controls legal adver-
Using to the amount of $500 This Is our posi-
ton, and we trust our readers will appreciate it
A BAFFLEr CoTEMPoRARY.-At 10 o'clock last
Sunday night we got word by telephone that
some one was opening the graves in our private
cemetery, wherein lie the remains OF the seven
different men who have tried to get the drop
or us, hut were trifle too late. We made for
tho scene at rapid gait, and what was our as
constituent to discover that the marau1er was
no less person than our esteemed cotcmpo-
rary-the editor, publisher and proprietor of
the Cow-Bell Gazette and Ding Dong Adver-
tiser. The old villain has stolen our office
stove-borrOwed our wood pile-hooked our
job type--corspired with our foreman-begped
our ink-opened dozens OF our letters and lied
alb nut US from Sunday morning TO Saturday
night. He has attempted TO ape and initiate
our enterprises and repeated failures have
made him desperate.
He hasn't the nerve to pull gun, even when
his nose Is between some ones fingers lie
pooh-poohed our graveyard in every issue
and sought in every way to belittle our courage
Fired with hate because everybody who como
here want to see that little burying ground he
planned to go out there and dig up every body
a TRANSPLANT N r1 IF Mo
own. We have eard of stupendous cheek, but
this case takes the cake. What did We do?
Well. We didn't want to kill the poor old. long
shanked, bow-legged cousin of a cactus. but we
did turn &c and maui him until the boys over
at ranch 14-saven miles away-heard his yells
and thought that new species of whippoorwiIl
had struck Arizona. We understand he claims
to have been "highwayed" and robbed, and
he's Dragging that he wounded two strangers
The case is as We have given it.
STOPPED Hrs Ap-Two weeks age we sug-
gested to the public the propriety of putting a
hempen necktie on Dan Smith, the proprietor
Of the Last Chance Saloon, and swinging him
up to limb. 1t seemed to US to DO the best
way to work a reform in his every day de-
mearor. Dan was advertising with and he
ordered his ad. out Result: Dan Smith is now
back at the Kansas state prison to serve bis
unexpired term
There's moral in this. We propose to take
advertising in a business way and as n business
investment No matter who is advertising
with us we shall refer to him editorially in any
way We deem best Had Smith sought revenge
by shooting at us we should have honorcd him.
When he turned in and stopped q six-inch ad.,
which We had given him a low rate on and
which We needed to fill out the sixth column
of the third page. we decided that il was time
tc close the game.
MORE FooLIsHNEss.-We have known Jim
Hastings for over two years. drunk and sober,
and We never supposed that he was bit SEN
sitive about having the entire American pop
ulaton know that he sleeps in the ditch oftener
than in his bed. In our last issue wo incident
ally referred to him in connection with barrel
of whisky, supposing he would feel fisttered, if
anything, To our great amaZement he walked
into this Office yesterday and demanded per-
sonal and public apology. lie had with him a
written apology, good for six solid columns, i
which he wanted US to publish or take the con-
sequences. We generally prefer the conse-
quenccs. We did in this case and il was a
painful spectacle to see poor old Jim, who was
once q gifted lawyer and is now living on his
mother-in-law, peel of TO do US up. We simply
dropped him out OF back window, and when
he borrowed gun at the Star saloon and fired
six bullets into The Kicker Office We paid him
not the least atteation. He lie around town
Boosting of how he is going 10 shoot us Oh
sight Foolish old man, We can only pity you!