Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-01-12
THE TOPICAL TALKER.

| A Shadow From the PsR--Thsy Knew Him
bur Too WeII-The Battle Knocked the
Music Ont Of Him-The Grip Of whisky.
THE amiAble and portly CLERK Of the Criminal
Court, the Hon. Lonny Long, was walking
down Fifth avenue yesterday afternoon when
a man who looked the shadow Of some human
being over six feet tall stopped him with the
query "Don't you recognize me?"
Mr.. Long drew back step and looked at his
lengthy interrogator. Then he said: "You are
not my long lost brother, are your
NO" said the shadow, in q thin voice, "but
you were clerk of the Criminal Court when
Judge Kirkpatrick gave me six years-and
remember now the look you gave me that
day."
ibid smiies' said Mr. Long, auxiously.
mo, but you winked-and well, well, let BY
cones be bygones. How's your health3 Toll
erables Glad Of that-see you again." and the
shadow slid away.
0THAT's the sort OF surprise party I'm
always having" said Mr.. Long to me IS
came up. Last Christmas DayI went down
to the workhouse to punish the prisoners with
little banjo twanging and q song or two.
When the prisoners came trooping into the
room two and two-they didn't know who was
going to operate upon them-they took skulk-
ing look at me. and they'd crane their necks
and take squint at me, till they seemed nigh
all of 'enn- to be suffering from some peculiar
nervous disease.
"'They all know you, Lonny,' said Mr.. War
ner. And 50 they did. Old acquaintanoes Of
the Criminal Court most Of them"
Iris required by the stage directions that APP
propriate music should accompany the
exciting finale of the third act in 'Shenan-
doah."
On Monday night last when the play was
given It's first performances at the Bijou, the
leader Of the orchestra did not give the signal
for the musicians to strike up as General
Sheridan dashed across the stage, and the cur
tain fell without a sound of martial music.
The stage manager rushed down to the music
room to see what had paralyzed the orchestra.
The leader met him and said: II know what
you've come for. 1 forgot the music cue. I
was in the battle Of Cedar Creek myself, ana
got bullet in my side there. The bullets
there yet The action Of the play recalled the
battle 80 vividly to me could not move, and
all the cues in the world could not have made
me STIR"
And this is q sober fact
So
a PROPHET who has the unusual privilege Of
being honored in his native city and has no
need to go about in single camel's hair gar
ment. chanced to be favoring me With his COM
pany yesterday in the course Of peregrination
about the city. As we passed the curious
conglomeration Of one-stery frame huts
on Penn avenue near Sixth street,
which contrast SO strongly with such
great piles as 7. @. Jenkins warehouse. the
Jackman building, and others nearby, my
friend, the prophet, said, with gesture worthy
of Jeremiah, where Kerf's place and the Gen.
tral Rink now stand Carnegie will build his
great library before the year has fownP'
"Do you seriously mean that9" asked.
"Yes do. To convince you viii bet silk
hat that 1890 will see that library building be-
gun on that spot"
When q man who Is worth several hundreds
of thousands of dollars offers to reeklessly bet
a silk hat it is wise to be convinced that he has
a dead sure thing.
TIE revenge taken by Editor Muller, Of The
Bulletin, upon la grippe. which took q
ten days lease of him as the old year went out,
is decidedly cruel. Mr.. Muller described every
symptom with painful minuteness in The BuL-
Eetin yesterday, and Ia grippe stands revealed
in naked ugliness as it tormented q little over
six feet of suffering humanity. Says he: I'm
the midst Of his duties, even while smiling
over the story Of some victim of the disorder
and while evolving homihes on the power Of
some mems imagination. he feels q deadly chill
stealing down his spine. making every spinal
process, from his cervical vertebre to his os-
eocygis. seem like distinct lump Of ice. And
then he can. like Archimedes. cry out: 81 have
iti have found itF' For he has Ia grippe. or
rather Ia grippe has him. Then comes, in dis
NAL succession, troop Of triumphant ills that
make of the poor wretch's body parade
ground. His brain reels with the mental exer.
ti0n of merely recording all the new aches and
pains flashed to it along those gray counter
parts of the electric wire-the nerves. His head |
grows as hot as q steel ingot Just from the
soaking pit;'his hands are 30 cold that piece
Of ice feels warm in his grasp. Then his nose
goes into active business at the bidding Of Ia
grippe. It no longer is the organ Of SMELL but |
the high priest of snseEe, betraying |
the while capacity for moisture that would |
make the reputation of Yellowstone geyser."
Ass
BEWARE OF E1CHATeING GRIPS,
Some shrew dlstiller bids US know,
And Doctor Blank insnres the tip,
That whisky is the thing, you know,
To cure the grip.
Bewarei lest you exchange the grip