Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-07-06
STICK u TIE MUD.

For thirty years the streets Of Paris have
been of asphalt. For twenty years the
streets OF London have been paved va
riouslv-wood. pitch. macadam, asphalt
but always as smooth as table.
Ten years ago New York experimental
with asphalt. and with fair success TO
Judge by the City Hail front, Central Park
paths. and the patches IN Madison avenue
and elsewhere. Now we seem to be living
in the asphalt millennium. The long Lex
ington avenue Is being clad in It's summer
asphalt suit from top 10 toe, beginning AZ
the toe. BY the way, quite cluster OF
CORPORATION notables live down al the era
mercy end OF it-ex-Mayor Hewitt down 10
n .hOal Of policemen as Won 90 mp. Has
this anything 20 do with the tailorlngl
Wall street has been asphalted, too. aud
when trade IS slack and you feel ike having
some fun, lust take your seat on the sub
treasury steps-sacred ground, mind
Won and watch the horses sink up 10
their.heels in hepitch, and me cart-wheels
make .Our-inch ruts. and the 30n-pounder
banker and brokers wrlggllng like eels TO
pull their heels out of the holes they have
STAMPED into the new " paving" On, yes;
its mighty funny-for you'll YOU have
sand enough 20 laugh on a sweiterlng day.
A NEGRo's FUNNY STORY.
They chartered lot around and around
"tle negro question the other day ut the
Mohawk Convention without getting par
ticularlv near % it. Perhaps 10 was warm
weather and the atmosphere of the subject
got sirOngish. Anyway. there IS no ques-
ton the negro can vote when he want 10.
Ii was quite another convention nap
pened INTO in a New York church lew
evenings ago. 4 negro bishop was down
on the programme for a speech, but he
did not turn up. There was cry Of
Hector. Hect0ri" set up, and when
the chairman SAID he would let Hector
loose on the meeting there was cheer or
satisfaction that BODIED a treat TO come
But Hector turned out 70 be a remarkably
black gentleman. which explains why the
white clerics spun out their wearlsome
harangues, so as 20 crowd Hector into
- Ist ten minutes" as everybody was
hurrying out. But everybody hurried 10
sit down again when he began. hacy,
eloquent, comic, singing, dramatic "
turns, the Rev. J. II. Hector proved far
and away the best orator OF the eve
ming. He told funny story more tunnlly
than printers ink can render 1t. lie IS
an out-and-out Prohibiti0nlst, and TO
rid,cule the moderate folk who wish
10 regulate the traffic by stringent legls-
lation he told how az old auntle
of Georgy was shown the water sys-
tenn in a city house for the hrst time.
She was amazed that the turning Of little
tap or spigot could bring such a rush
Of water right where she wanted 1t, for
she was going to get pailful to scrub the
floor. Her pail was soon hlled and over
filed, but the old girl didn't know how to
stop il. Seeing tho danger of a second
deluge she philosophically decided 70 deal
with it on the installment plan and keep It
under by wise consideration. Hector is OF
gigantic build. and this Is how he played
"old auntie." Filling his imaginary
bucket as he stopped. he rose to bis full
tip-toe height, swaying his body for
dience. Bubbety bubbety-swishl Bub-
betty bubbety-swishl Kant git the hang
o the thing nohow" Bubbety bubbety-
swish 20 Lor'! o LORI What's .g,wine
ter become on us2n-bubbety bubbety-
swish well, well. Dinah. What on
earth are you doing that forp" II was her
mistress, shocked at the dreadful sight
everywhere around. what Pse a dom
off, Why, Pse regilatin' the supply -
bubbety bubbety-swish. "Cfar right out
ef yo' don't want ter be drownded."