The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1890-07-16
the day 1nny be- longer in coming than
| some of the papers 90 on to state.

the day 1nny be longer in coming than
some of the papers go on to state
What is the general tendency Of the
hour in other countries? Is it not toward
the dissolution of empires and the dis
ruption of dynasties? Most assuTedly 1t
is. Moreover, the monarchs themselves
are not at all feeling we'll The king of
Holland is quite i'll. His victuals in
stead of doing him good seem to be pro-
ductive of boil in the stomach. Ele is
often heard to wish that he was dead.
and his staff have promised. SO far as
possible, to crafty his every wish.
The king Of Spain is brunette giut-
ton from quite distance up the creek
He founders himself almost every day
and then nur1nurs because he can con-
tain no more. His doctors bills, they
say, would buy good cow every year.
He hates books and enjoys nothing but
feeding. He takes no interest in his nice
new clothes, but constantly lis ear is
strained to catch the sound of the II
o'clock whistle. which announces that
the hands ut the castle have Knocked oil
for dinner Ele then blows off the royal
digester to a square meal, to use crude
Americanism.
The king of Dahomey has had both
his own and lis wife's relations strained
by Franco. and war is almost inevitable.
He knows also that it will be one OF
those disagreeable wars in which he will
have the excitement of getting some Of
his most indispensable brains shot out
without the glory of a victory. Though
he may think he is right, and that it is
better to be right than to be relative
of the executive, he is almost certain to
get done up by france, and 60 home
carrying his largest brains in a collar
box.
The king of Italy formed the foolish
habit of cutting his hair pompadour
years ago, and now he cannot make it
stay down. Over and over again he has
written to me to know what he should
do in order to destroy or allay at least
that appearance of surprise which his
erect hair gives him. He says his life is
imbittered by it, and that if it were not
that he fears that he would frighten the
Seraphim he would willingly blow out
the gas and go home.
Pedro II, of Alcantara, made an assign
ment last year, and putting his throne
out in the carriage house with burlaps
over it he went abroad. telling the rump
senate and house of representatives to
take their old empire and never to
darkeA lis doors again When last
heard of he was preparing a magic Ian
tern slide l4cTure on How to Reign
with Least Fatigue, and What Style Of
Scepter Is Best Fitted for Indoor Reign
ing"
Leopold II, Of Belgium, says that if
he could get the same salary from Phil
Armour for sticking hogs that he does
for reigning over Belgium he would be in
Chicago early in November, when the
great anniversary and carnival of the
hog assassination Of Illinois is at its full
height, and he would have his clothes
sent to him afterward.
Khulaloukoru l, king of Siam, says
that he would rather run q soda fount-
ain than be king. He gets all het up in
the middle of the day, and his throne
fairly aches by o'clock at night.
Muley Hassan, the sultan of Morocco,
is tired and sick of his job, and says that
if he could take few of his best wives,
and shotgun, and wall tent, and go
out camping for about eighty-fve years
and let the hckers do the ruling them
selves, he would be willing to do it if he
could do So honorably, but it's like Jay
Gould with his money, he says. The
thing has no doubt made slave of him,
with big iron collar on his neck that
leaves him never day or night, but curses
him even with the fear that he will lose
it, and not only be again poor and
forgotten, but occasionally raked up
as an example and jeered at by the mob.
That is why, as Mrley Hassan says, a
man frequently clings to throne that
has big hornets nest in the base of it.
He hates to quit, and thus admit that he
was not Indispensable, or give the COM
mon people a chance to say unjust
things of him when he is gone. He is
like the colored man who held the bear
by the tail and desired help to let go.
Wales has been very successful in
some ways. He has feshed up first rate,
and has also made record as the oldest
prince in England, Ireland or Scotland.
He is looking real rugged, but his figure
reminds one of disabled penchant with
a string around it.
Georgios II, king of Greece, is a SOM
nambulist, and hardly a night passes
that he does not wander forth and fall
off the edge of his kingdom somewhere.
He says if he felt sure that he had made
his calling and election sure he would
not care how soon the summons came.
He says be is tired reigning over little
clearing like Greece, where the history
of all the old family business is repeated,
SA
\QZ@T] r.