St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-12-21
Also One or Two Gentle Re-
minders to the Old
and Tough.
Thoughts on How to be Happy
With a Small, Leaky
Poeketbook.
Story Of the Embryonic Jour-
naliSt and South Da-
kota Statesman.

words appropriate to Christmas, with
little New Years OH the side.
First and foremost, as the writers on
tariff say. it is every ones duty to make
somebody else Supremacy happy. 1t
can be mathematically demonstrated
that if each one of us makes another
one happy great gush OF oleaginous
joy will flood the city of st. Paul from
Pigs Eye TO Merriam Park.
lon this coming Christmas day of all
the year." wrote doting father to his
son in college, 'it will be your duty to
make everybody happy" and the youth
went off and drowned himself. previous
ly writing back to the old man: Il have
followed Instructions"
On the remains was found the entire
letter from the doting father, in which
he said i'll a postscript:
You ask me to remit 500. Enclosed
please find dollar and fifty cents.
Take it and blow il in all at once. The
aristocratic minions OF Your university
shall never say that Il son OF mine failed
to keep up with the procession"
And he kept up with the procession;
in fact, led it all the way to the grave
yard.
But this is neither here nor there, as
the man said who was put Off the train
between stations. We are soon to be
called upon to celebrate Christmas in
an appropriate manner right on the
heels of a panic i'll Wall street. Amer
lea expects every man to do his duty.
Especially young America. AT all
times capital is tinid, and just now it
is scared almost out of its cents-es.
Also its dollars. One seldom hears the
soft unclasping of the superse nsitive
pocketbook, but YOU can hear it snap
together four blocks on a still day. 1t
cracks like torpedo, and very soon
after its owner fades away like the
beatific memory of an Oriental dream.
Now is the time for the young man of
moderate means and immoderate fam
lily connections to wear binders in
The Diamond Bazaar.
and flock TO the 10-cent counter. Now
is the time when the rich philanthro-
pist presents his millionaire brother-in-
law with $1,000 piano and gives dead
beep the Mckinley wolf from the door.
Now is the time when the frugal maiden
refuses to pay 81 for an article that she
can get for 50 cents by walking only
seven blocks. Now is the time when
we can look back on the ocean of life
strewH with wind-tOssed fragments from
our deck load, the flotsam and jetsam
of an ill-assGrted cargo; when we can
set down and think, and reflect, and
ruminate and consider our ways and be
Wise; when we can peer into the future
through the keyhole of the present;
when we can all. individually and col
letiyely, dust Off orr languid, enervated
conscienceS and make up our minds
not to do so any more. 1t is a period
for object lessons.
In this connection | am reminded of
the case of young journalist who, if
he holds out to the end, may make a
newspaper man. The affair happened
about year ago this time, i'm the first
flush and fluff and furry of the holiday
season. An alleged friend took the
embryo reporter in hand and coached
him. lie was very embryo indeed, in
fact, so rankly embryo that Charles A.
Dana's overcoat would not have made
him vest without setting the buttons
forward so it wouldn't pinch. Well,
this alleged friend said to him:
always stand on your dignity and
remember the paper is backing you.o
Yes" said the embryo young fell
low"
BE brusque. gruff, off-hand and COM
handing in your department. Don't
take any back wash from Jay Gould or
Henry Willard. People will stand
around then OH the corners and respect
you, and say, Good heavens, there goes
one of the great mOulderS of public
opinion. His hand is on the public
pulse Make people afraid of you and
you will come out o. K. every time"
''All right" asStnted the embryo ne
porter. That has been my impression
for some time, and l indorse your SEN
timents heartily"
'Cuss the public and 1t will treat YOU
we'll; cringe, and the public will cuss
you"
"Fll remember that. old man."
The Plot Fhickens.
On the following day the embryo re-
porter was given an assignment to in
terview q prominent South Dakota
statesman who was stopping at the
Merchants hotel. He sent up his card
by the bell boy. who returned to say
that the South Dakota statesman didn't
recognize the name"
Tell him." replied the youth holly,
that it's journalist, and L want to
see him pretty middlin' id quick"
The bell boy came back and told the
embryo reporter to follow him.
That's the way to work 'em,"
thought the young man as he skipped
nimbly after his guide. When within
ten feet of the door, after pointing out
the number of the South Dakota mans
room, the bell boy made slide back to
the Office. The youth knocked. and
was answered by gruff Come in" Is
suing from point near the keyhole.
AS the embryo reporter was about to
comply with the surly request, the door
was jerked open. and he was snatched
bodily into the room by power ap-
parently 10000 volts heavier than his
own.
"What do you mean, you dod-ratted
interloper. by sending up such mes
sage TO me?" demanded the South Da-
kota man, yanking the youth over the
table and tanning him up against the
wall.
Il was-was-on-o only pressed for
time, and"
shut up, you mudhen, you scrub.
you fake-writer. or I'll press you for
luck" and the eminent politician took
new twist, in the reporters satin
throat latch. Don't you know how to
address gentlemanw
Pm au-an-ofT- hand"
Are, oh? Well. you are on hand just
DOW, reckon. Eve got good notion
to throw you over the gas fixtures. yon
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