Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1890-10-19

81 hear that the Woodland Weekly Spar,
has gone out of existence"
The car reporter thus addressed we'll
known Woodlandite, who had dropped
into town on little business.
Yes, it had TO give up the ghost" wss
the reply.
Wouldn't the town support it?'
"Oh, yes; it had big circulation and
paid WELL"
Politics, eh?p
"No, nothing like that"
"Oh see; the editor just became weary
and retired"
mo, you haven't guessed it yet. But
lister, and I'll tell you how it happened.
Smith, the editor, employed an intelligent
compositor and it was this individual that
caused all the trouble"
did he striker"
"No, but he caused somebody else TO.
You see, it was this way: Jones, the
plumber, suddenly became enterprising
aud concluded to advertise in the Spdsn
He desired a card inserted something ike
this: Obediah Mortimer Jones-Scienti6c
Misunderstanding Specially Well, the
| card was put in-corect, with the exception
of one little letter. The intelligent conf
postor set it up thus '0bediah Mortimer
Jones Scientific Plumber = Robbing q
| Speciality Editor Smith and plumber
| Jones saw the mistake simultaneously.
| Plumber Jones armed himself to the teeth,
| and started for the editors sanctum. The
editor put his earthly belongings into a
collar box and started for-well, nobody
l = IL Io, -
heard from since"
| Here is a bit of conversation that took
place between several prominent citizens
on hohtail-car the other day:
Congressman Morrow LOOKS well,
doesn't hep
Indeed, he does"
| "Hum-hes an out-aud.Out California
| enthusiast; he is"
| "What makes you think so?'
| We'll, I'll tell you. You know the
train he came in on, Monday, was several
| hours lase-almost a half a day late, in
| fact. Well, you know a great many of the
| Copgressman's friends gathered around
him at the hotel, shaking hands with him
and asking all sorts of conundrums. When
my turn came, spoke of the hardness OF
his train, and suggested that it must have
been very annoying to him."
"Annoyingr he echoed, not a bit of
it. Just the opposite. l was never so
pleased over anything in my life"
Of course, everybody was surprised at
this reply, and the big statesman was
asked for an explanation.
"'Well,' he said, after we left Ogden we
kept humping into great long fruit trains
from California. The woods were full OF
'em. Every side track that we passed was
covered by a fruit special, and at about
every second station we had to wait until
one passed US. Do you think anything
like that could be annoying to Cali
fornian p
"Ahem Excuse me, SIR" said the man
in rags to the well-dressed individual who
had just alighted from the car.
"Well?"
Twill you do me little favor?"
"What is it?'
"Just hypnotic me and make me
imagine l have had a square meal"
1t worked like charm. The we'll
dressed man handed him quarter.
"Ahl Here's a chance to spring that
new joke of mine," quoth Judge Henry tc
himself as he caught sight of an acquaint.
ance who had just boarded the car.
How de do?" was the way he began.
mice day."
eyes"
"Well, the Trustees have made another
break"
"What have they done this time?"
"Why, they've issued an order that tele
graph poles must not be put up in town
any longer"
Chats good idea. The poles are long
enough now"
The Judge glared at the villain for 6
second and then fell upon him furiously
III shake the life out of you, you wretch,
he hissed-and he might have done it, too
bad not the other passengers dragged him
| off.
Darling, will you not be mine?"
81 cannot, Gawge; but I'll be sister
Jaw, say Break away I've got six
sisters now. Couldn't you be cousin OF
an aunt, or something like that?"