Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1890-07-04
WIT AND IIUMOR.

In doubtful state-Wonder il Shs1
loves meP-BOStOn Herald.
If mans salvation depended arsgE1
woman He'll would be tenantless--Asl-
and Press.
A man must get right down to- MIS-
work in order to get up in the wONba-
WiihcS6drre Record. .
There is no accounting for taste eN-
cept on the principle that some peoE1H
haven't any.-BoSton Post.
A mans greatness makes his family
great; woman's greatness makes her
family Experimentation Gfooe-
The man must have wonderful gns-
trio resources who raises guinea PICS
aud Spitz dogs Binghanton LeGdi7-.
A man is like an omnibus. WIlrru
he is full of drinks he thinks there ~
room for one more.-BOSt0n CONNER
eial.
Never mind about ''tempering Sisc
wind to the shorn lamb" what ib0
shorn lamb is after is some way to RAISE
the wind.-Puck.
Many a man who says, Get thee Le-
hind me, SATAN does so with the Iss-
surance that Satan will get there-,WIitl,
both feet.-Pucb.
The attitudes which some people
strike after doing what it is their plailH
duty to do would make dancing
master blush. "-Pack.
This amt a dwarf! He's over five
feet tall" That's the great thing
about him. He is the tallest dwarf ira.
the WORLDLY Y. San.
A wife is a mans better-half, but tho'
fellow who elopes with her doesn't NJ
WAYS get the better of him He
usually gets the worst.--Ieras SIT
lRgS.
Meet your wife with smile on
your lips says an exchange. Better
wait until the odor of the smile" hES
abated somewhat, though.-4e1aS Sqs-.
Hgs.
Hearing the bad things others cav
about him does not convince a man
that he has faults so much as it proves
to him that others are liars-AtchtSolE.
Globe.
Faddles-"Did l ever tell you thar
story about my uncle and the snake%D
Swaddles-''Yo did, my boy, and PG
rather believe it than hear it again. -
-Harper'S Weekly.
did you pass the last examinations"
said Senator to rather rapid SON.
'Well, emo; / didn't just exactly
pass it. l laid down my hand as it-
were. ~ Washington Post.
Corker (who is no eounoisseur)-
Eyes, Brown, bottled that claret my
| III II IL ~, "A
fellow. that you'd put some of it in
cruets. "-Americdn Grocer.
Il don't know what to do with my
son. He has failed in business ana
professional life and appears TO bc
good for nothing" why don't you
buy him a seat in Congress? "-EIe-
Young Callow-'I say, fellow. rDr
in a great hurry. Give me twO.pounds'
of dog biscuit!' Clarkson formerly
in gents furnishing goods)-"Yes, SIR;
for yourself, sir?"-AnlericdH Grocer
The Justices were all present to try
an excise case. Gentlemen" said tho.
prosecuting attorney, IL desire to with
draw this suit from this court. fee2
the bias of full bench. IN. y. Ssea;
Somehow a man feels much wurse
the day after he has lost an hours
sleep on account Of the baby than hG
does the day after he has lost five
hours sleep at the club AtchiSoH
Globe.
Doctor-"Take cereal food for break
fast my dear sir; it will help you wOR-
derfully." Patient (next morning.
''Barkeeper, gimme a little old rye
Must follow doctors orders. Alamo
apOitS Journal.
Mumby- Say, when two trains co.,
Tide they call it telescope don't theye''-
Dumley - Yes; whypn MUMMY
Nothing, only | was wondering WHY.
they didn't call it collideoscope. -
Laurence american.
And how did you like the service at
our church last EVENING"" "ThereE
So it was a religious service? | could
not have told whether it was a religious
service or grand opera. I'm awfully
near sighted, you know" - BoSt0ss-
Transcript.
If Heaven had a high board fence
round it you'd see dozens of pesky sim
ners trying to climb in on each others
shoulders way down in the far corner
while the gatekeeper's attention Was.
held by a single dead-head in 'front.'
ashland Press.
Willets-"Tell me, really, are YOU
just as happy now you are married as.
you were when you were engaged?''
Millets-" Why, certainly. Her father
pays all of her expenses just the same
as he did before we were married.. -
1erre Haute ErpreSS.
Mr.. Rich-"My daughter. l wish you
would busy yourself about something:
and not be forever reading those silly
novels" But, my dear father. you
ought to he perfectly contented rhass
you have such wealthy heiress for "a
daughter. "-Ftiegende Bidtter.
Two college boys were guessing each
others ages. 10 Judge by your i,,s--
mature and amateur Jokes, you're
about It," said Bill 10 Judge by
your antique and messy jests. you're.
about POO" replied Bob, and honors.
were easy.-Procidence Telegram.
Motbn,. ct dOp't oDNr,va cf ron,r-