davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1890-07-13

'sBut look here.'' said !. Zone claw il al
most torn Oh.
s.That can be fixed in ten minutes" the
clerk remarked. ~
.sOl, in less time" the musician cheer
ssHave you another coat p Iasksd.
1--we got one that IL the veHy thing,
but it is out. You can have It to NOR
row"
Don't want il to-morrow-want it now
or never
Il think we can make this one do,' said
the musician, holding mp the lacerated
II ia an elegant piece Of goods the
clerk responded.
In one more moment should have re-
sorted to violence, but the musician drew
me away. We went to another place. The
clerk looked at the numbers on = stack Of
coats and shook his head. Hold on, he
said, as We were about to leave the store,
and then Remarked: IF Philberts has
brought that coat back think can TT
you"
He pulled open drawer and said: "Ah!'
Philberts had brought the coat back. He
advanced. holding the thing in front Of
him, It looked like alpaca jacket with two
dangling shoestrings intended to represent
tails.
"The very thiney' cried the musician.
tried it on. o.. rather, tore on one s,e sgs
|
have been living skeleton. Out il
the street again, perplexed, worried inte
perspiration and profanity: At the next
place asked the clerk If be hac
any swallow-tail coats for men. Oh! yes
he had large stock. The first one hi
brought out would have cramped the form
of an ideal Juliet; the second would have
distressed Camille, even il put on during
the flag end of her fatal illness; the thire
might have been passed upon favorably by
the ossifed man, and the fourth-well,
crowded myself into it. The clerk smilee
and the musician declared it was beauty
"Oh! you must take itv' he exclaimed
"Looks tip top-cut of sight. Soon be time
to go to the hall, you know"
81 know, but can't raise my arm
SeeY''
ooh, you don't want to raise your arm
In humorous recitation you must stant
perfectly still.
''But It pinches me under the arms"
"Oh, come now, what difference doe
that make? Everything pinches-lif'
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1890-07-13

/ have For Sale thirty acres on line Of Electric Cars
right in the line Of Fine Buildings Also eighteen acres
Plated and Close in These are SPECIAL BARGAINS
and can be Retaied now
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1890-07-13

pinches, for that matter, but you don't
want to throw off your life simply because
it does pinch little. Put on your overcoat
and come ahead.
sat on an uneasy chair waiting for my
turn-was to appear Immediately after a
slim young man in nicely fitting coat
should finish singing ''Jack Is Every Inoh
Sailor" The time came and I suddenly
found myself in the presence of innumera-
BILE ribbons and highly oolored feathers.
Eyes, noses and then faces gradually grew
insS 1se9sgisa51d sesps sea th59as
ish, as trained stage people do. without
turning around, but failed. A graceful
vanish was beyond my skill. The people
roared. and I was forced to tell another
story; and, encouraged by the outbursts Of
appreciation, felt the thrilling leap of the
suddenly acquired blood of bravery; still
st oe the close lose Of otna the second WSe
loare turned louder e Ran the ever bat
determined to run no risk of failure after
SO brilliant a success. ] fastened to the
green-room flushed with the excitement OF
victory. My friend and the other musicians
cry Inch Sailor''-all yelled. I was not
long in discovering the true cause of my
great success. The rented trocity that
wore was split down the back from collar to
tails. This was not the only humiliation,
for one of the newspapers, in referring to
my part of the performance, said.
His idea of fun is of very low order
Not having the humor of idea, he substitu.
ted disgraceful clownishness-the misera-
BILE trick of putting on coat, slit in thu
back, and then turning around SO that the
audience could see the Joke We woule
advise him not to appear again in public
at least not until he learns the difterenc,
between respectable humor and disreputa
BILE trickery.''
I may live to be an authority on floods
and early frosts-may bereferred to as ION,
may force me to commit robbery or steal
hog that wears tusk like reaping hook
but no condition, it matters not how severe
can ever compel me to rent another swal
low tail coat. ORE p. READ.
Copyright
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1890-07-13
A COLORADO PHILOSOPHER.

He stood by the fence of mountain ranch,
A pitiful sad-eyed hurro:
There wasn't an edible leaf or branch
And the alkai ground
For miles around
Had never a sign of furrow.
"Ah, mel" he sighed, II am sad it's so,
But life is an endless tussle;
They havs let me go in the storm and enow
For they know am used to rustle!"
Il can go day on sardine can
And two on q scrap of leather;
have lived a week on Chinese fan
And its even plain
That sometimes gain
On only change of weather.
The lazy n . feed hay-indeed;
But who have nerve and muscie-
They say, Hell do; he will worry through;
He's a wonderful brute to rustle."'
o, sorrowful burro! Thin and sad!
feel to you like brother!
With the human race 1t is just as bad;
For the tramp and shirk
Must escape from work
By the bountiful sweat Of another.
There are some that stand with glove in hal
In tho infinite toll and bustle;
They sing and play. bu. they've lots of hay
They never have LEANED 70 rustic!
Charles y. Allen.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1890-07-13
No Land on which the Sun Shines

Possesses greater natural advantages than
our own, but there are portions Of the great
grain bearing west and fertile south where
health initiate against them, in some de-
gree, as places of residence. Heavy rain
falls and the overflow of greatrivers which
exposed to the rays ofthe sun, there beget
malarial fevers, and there also the inabi-
tants ENTHUSIASTICALLY obligedto use some
medicinal safeguard against the scourge
The most popular is Hostetter's Stomach
third of acentury affoded reliable protec-
ton to those whom experience in the fulfil
ity of ordinary remedies for fever and ague,
has taught to substitute for them.
Whether intermittent, or remittent MAS
matte fevers are conquered or averted by
medicine as they are by no other prepare
ton in use. Use it, and abandon impure
ocal bitters
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1890-07-13

How often do we see this on the faces
Of children and, alas, of people who other
wise are healthy? What causes it? Bad
Blood. The thought is terrible; the
trouble is worse. No ordinary help can
remove it. It requires something un-
usual. Do not take cheap sarsaparillas
or blood purifiers. You must have some
Europe and America. General Wheat
croft Nelson, of London, says: my
experience in the English army, as well
as in America, convinces me that nothing
20 thoroughly purifies the blood, or adds
to the health, vigor and life, as Dr.
Acker's English Blood Elixir"
This grand Elixir is sold by druggists
in all parts of America. 1t is a good,
pure, honest medicine. Try it to-day.
n For sa', II. M. Parchen ~c.. dr. gsists,
Halepa
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1890-07-13
And the Embarrassment Of the
Fat Man Was Beyond Com
prehension.
For He Had to Speak g Piece
In q Rented Swallow
Tail.
- Add to His Misery . WaE OF .
Friend Made Long Slit in
the Back.

Written for THE SUNDAY INDEPENDENT
The large man whom circumstances have
forced to rent dress coat 10 almost as
much deserving Of pity AZ the man that has
been uniustly condemned to be hanged. l
w;,i give Won nv reasons for thinking 20.
Several weeks ago friend came to me and
said:
.I,ook here. old fellow, ! am going to give
a mnsical entertainment and want you to
help me out ,,
"How can help you out7" asked. "The
only music ever made was turning GRIND
stone accompaniment to the desh-creeping
tremulo of a scythe."
"Oh, don't want you to make any music
only want you to recite sonnet hing; some
little thing, it doesn't make any difference
hat-tell that story You told US at the club
rnight-just tell any thing, you
know" -
shook my head; he continued: IAN We
want Won to do is to give us something to
fill in with-won't amount to anything you
know" -
to grant your request" said !. Ihe truth
is, haven't the courage to place my awk-
ward anatomy in q perpendicular pasition
and address an audience"
"What! as large a man az you are ana
haven't that much courage"
'sAh! but size is the trouble. II were
small, the trial would be less. There would
not be 90 much of me to feel embarrassed
As the most famous Of social hypocrltee
said in letter to his son: Superior helgnt
requires superior grace" ),
aNonsense," my friend rejcined, "You'd
look frst-rate in dress coat"
But have none." -.,,
sWhy, hang it, rent one. I'll go, out
with YOU and in less than half an hour
you'll be fitted like tailor's model. Nov
look here" he added persuasively. 1T Won
do to disappoint me, for the fact is was &c
sure YOU would kelp me out that have had
your name printed on the programme. On
It won't take you more than ten minutes,
he soothingly added, noticing my nervous
ness. "All you've got to do is to step out
Gay your little piece, make bow and tina
ends it. Don't you remember that came
to your house some time ago and played
during the entire EVENING""
did remember, and thus thrown by thu
"under-hold' of gratitude, Icould do moth
ing but yield.
The entertainment was to take place tn
following Thursday evening, giving me al
most weeks time to brood over the com
ing trial. Never, except on one miserable
occasion in Kentucky, years ago, had eve
attempted to address an audience, and tn
memory of that OCCASIONS hot embarrass
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1890-07-13

of dannel-cake was held in place by daub
of maple syrup. The coat had evidently
been present at wedding breakfast.
''Oh, a little benzine will take that of"
said the clerk.
TRY it on" the musician said.
wait minute" / remarked. Glow
about this hole under the arm?"
The clerk tried to patch the hole with a
look, but fsiisd. 'Oh, our tailor can FIX
that" said he.
Can make it look better than ever" the
Ducician automatically declared.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1890-07-13
No. 2S75.}
APPLICATION FOR A PATENT.
q, 6, LAND OFFToH. I

o. LAND OFFICE
Notice 10 hereby gwen that Charles A. Broad
water. whose postof6ce address is Helena, Lewis
and Clal ke county, Montana. has this day filed
his application for patent tqr s acres OF the
Of Lewis and Clarke. and State Of Montana. and
file in this Office q lot No. II, in unsurveyed
line and nsridi.ni Of Mont.ns, said lot No. Il,
Beginning al location corner which Is . gran
lite stone. aO1i2xl5 inches. marked 1928, for
initial point bears s. degrees is minutes VA .lsss
feet;running thence degrees 50 minutes e,6O92
feet;thsnce degree 10 minutes e,s25 feet;thence
sress minutes y, ea.s feet: thence g degrees
IS fss Ssaos
". lss feet; thence : IS degrees 20 minutes v,
thence IS degrees Is minutes . sssS feet; thence
81 degrees 81 minutes 9, 1895 feet thence n So
degrees IS minutes Sss II; feet thence :. de-
minutes ., l07.4 feet; thence \ degree 10 min
sos feet: thence n is degrees IS minutes e eso.l
feet; thence 80 degrees IS minutes g. 6s7;l feet
thence n degrees 20 minutes g, 55.5 feet IN
Conflicting ft Claims Claims. - ~ ~
Magnetic variation 20 degrees 80 minutes E. con.
The location Of this mine is recorded in the 10.
corders Office VI Lewis and Clarke county, in
book IF" page lis Of said records. The aaioin
irg claimants are unknown.
Any and all persons claiming adversely any a.
limited states land Office at Helena in the stat
Of Montana, during the sixty days period Of pub
the provisions q " w. t naseaonsz Register.
+. p. STERLING. Atty. for Claimants.
First NIB NAV Is. 1syO
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1890-07-13
Sunday Excursions.

Attention is called to the fact that ON and
after Sunday, May 4, train No. l, which
leaves Helena in the morning for Butte,
will leave Sundays at 8 O'Clock instead of
9:15 as heretofore and will continue to de-
part at that time until further notice for
the purpose of accommodating the large
number of excursionists who wish to make
trips to our elegant summer resorts.
B. H. LANGLEY,
General Ticket Agent,
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1890-07-13

pinches, for that matter, but you don't
want to throw off your life simply because
it does pinch little. Put on your overcoat
and coma ahaa6
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1890-07-13
THE CHICAGO
MILWAUKEE, &
ST. PAUL R'Y,

10 the Fast Mail Short Line from St,
Paul and Minneapolis via La Crosse and
Milwaukee to Chicago and all points in
the Eastern States and Canada, Il r.
tho only line under ono management b.
tween St. Paul and Chicago, and is the
Finest Equipped Railway in the North.
west. 1t is the only line running Pull.
man Drawing-room Sleeping cars with
luxurious smoking rooms, and tho finest
dining cars Ras II R the ws, aa via IT. the famou:
lake Pepin and the beautiful Mississippi
river to Milwaukee and Chicago. fts
trains connect with those Of the North
ern lines in the Grand Union depot az
st. Paul. No change Of cars OF any claas
between st. Paul and Chicago. For
through tickets, time tables, and full in
formation, apply to any coupon ticket
agent in the northwest.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1890-07-13
Cheaper rhau stAying at Home.

Ch0Apef Than StAy1nH ~ HUME
On August I, the Great Northern railway
line, will reduce the first GLASS rates. from
Helena to Minneapolis, st. Paul. Duluth
and West Superior. On single trips from
$4a.7b to $40. On round trips from $S5.36
to 360. The second-class rate will be re-
duced from $3.50 to $25. The reduction
will apply on all points east of st. Paul and
Minneapolis. Always remember the great
through line. Always en- time.
B. II. LANd11Y,
Gen. Tkt. AQt.
The Minneapolis observer. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1890-1???, 1890-09-20
FRESH FASHION NOTES.
ioue New Things which Promise to Eo-
como Decidedly Popular.

tome New Things which Promise to Ee-
come Decidedly Popular.
Silver passomonteries in points is
Ieen upon French coats OF hussar blue
with waist-coats Of fawn-color stripped
with narrow lines OF silver.
Not only are there fine challie dresses
for summer wear, but there are also
French patterns Of silky ana elegant
quality that make most charming au-
tumn dresses.
gray crepe de Chine toilet recently
worn had bouquet OF lovely pink car
nations, tied with gray ribbons and
placed at the side OF the bolt with
trails OF foliage falling above the silk
loops
The majority Of the skirts Of new prom.
enade costumes, either for shopping or
more elegant wear. sweep tho ground.
On the other hand, the trains OF evening
dresses are shortened. being more In the
style OF the Louis XIV. train.
Jackets In fawn-gray and silver-blue
are trimmed with mousquetaire collars
and revers OF velvet These have long.
close inner coats, or vests, rather,
braided In silk soutache and fastened
with buttons Of silver or old bronze.
Tailor-made walking coats OF extra
length are among the new models for
next season. Some OF these. formed OF
dark Princess OF Wales blue English
cloth, are decorated with rich Persian
arabcsques in silver. blue and bronze.
Red wool English skirts on youthful
tennis gowns have white cashmere
blouses striped with rcd silk. and loose
blazers Of the red fabric with vide
revers faced with white cloth, the collar
and cuffs OF the same. A red and white
cap Is en- suite.
White and yellow and white and
.palest primrose are very fashionably
combined In rich or delicate dinner and
evening dresses White silk dresses,
blouses and white repped silk supper
jackets are wrought with yellow silk
embroideries
For costly dresses Of white crepe de
Chine, China crepe, real China silk and
India silk null. laces in Venetian
point and point d'Alencon combined.
form beautiful garnitnre. Some of
the pointed patterns for the skirt are
half yard in depth, with narrower
points for the slceve-tops, the girdle
and the bodice.
Camel's hair princess dressesin silver
gray, rosewood. pale olive. apricot and
very bright poppy red are made ready
foe early autumn teas and small din
ncra Some aro finished with Greek
draperieA Less classic models have
full velvet sleeves with rich bodice dec
orations of silk passementerie in van.
dyke points st Louis Republic
The Minneapolis observer. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1890-1???, 1890-09-20
rnE nAln-aEApEn MAN.

one would think % read the papers discoass-
ing on the ~.
Ths grcands Tor his creation and the various
reasons why,
That the underlying motive. the real objective
plan.
was 70 set another whack At
The bald headed man.
Nov the ny Is no respecser Of persons or Of
ne light. wherever fancy Or The seen. Of game
his object Is q suck up all the juices that be
can,
And be Is no Mem. SIS Of
The baid-hcaded man.
The Nv has been crcnted for scientific use,
And there Is no use Of hunting up thiniy clad
Hs was made 70 give reporters, ever since the
world began,
Another chance 70 riiicnie
me bald headed man.
Won may talk Of sticky paper and lay trains Of
dynamite,
Bu, me % win live and flourish. as he always
has 10 spite,
And the paragaphing punsters from Beer
shebA 70 Dan
win keep up their persecution Of
The bald headed man.
But let them ali remember there was once q
prophet old
To whom the sporsiye urehins, in wickedness
made bold,
Remarked. 60 mp. thou bald headF' when
out the big bears ran
And swallowed up the sooifers Of
The baid.headed man.
The Minneapolis observer. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1890-1???, 1890-09-20
FRANKS OF A ROCK.

Aa Account of the DolnEs OF the Oniy
Tame Specimen at itis Tribe.
have for some tlme had in my pos.
6sssion q tame rock. whose pranks and
oddities are constant source OF amuso-
ment 10 mo and not unfrequently Of an
noyanee 10 otherS Poppy" when
quite young and still hardly able TO nv,
was found In our garden, which is quite
in the town, and surrounded by streets
and noisy factory. How he got there
we never discoyercd but being there,
he has never left U.S. At FIRST ho was
kept In large cage; and when / let
him out held him by long string at
taohed to his leg But as he escaped
several times. and yet always came
back at my CALL this constraint was
soon abandoned and p.rfecs liberty al.
lowed him. lie never leaves our gar.
den. flies about at will. roosts in the
stable. and will come into the house
whenever allowed. hut so mischieyous
Is he that he has OF late been carefully
excluded. lie leads the cook llfe--the
other day no was found in the act OF
carrying hens egg of the kitchen
table. Last summer. while VIC were all
away from homo, Poppy" was sent to
some friends abou. thirty miles OF.
There he, lived In exactly tho same
style, seeming no shit disturbed by tho
change Of place or people, and at the
end Of a month was brought back here
again,
We have also two cats and a dog,
s.Scruh." an Airedale terrier, who live
in considerable awe OF Poppy" as he
frequently attacks them. steals their
food, and otherwise maItroats them
None q ua would much care TO take a
bone away from scrub but Poppy"
after slyly pccking his tail 10 attract
hls attention. darts at the bone and
carries IL of In triumph. Apparently
for the sake OF teasing him. Poppy
has practiced and perfected an imita-
tios Of his bark. which Is 50 good that
am often puzzled 10 know whelh-
or Il Is "Scrnb" or Pop
nv" who Is speaking. Only the
other Gay. the cry Of one OF the cats
called my attention to the fact that
Poppy" WAS hauling away At his tail.
and dragging him step BY step down
the slope Of tho lawn Poppy" wilt
also playfaily attack children. pecking
their legs and pulling their dress In
his feeding he Il almost omnlvorous
The other day. ALAS he forgos himself
80 fer as 70 burst open the guineA-piEs'
cage and kill and eat one Of the little
ones. 10 rcaks usually eat small =ns.
mals9
As ! have never heard before OF y
tame rock. thought that perhaps some
account OF this most interesting bird
might be OF interest 10 your readers l
can. however. hardly claim 20 be bis
tanner. Is from his nrst appearance be
showed himself most friendly and socl-
able. A week OF two ago was obliged
% clip his wings. bat eniy b prevoas
him entering the bedrooms and max.
Ing havoc there. --tiAnaen Spectator
The Minneapolis observer. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1890-1???, 1890-09-20
DOMESTIC CONCERNS.

TO protect children's clothing from
FIRE add one ounce Of alum TO the last
water used in rinssng clothes. This
renders them uninhammable
Aurora Cake: 0ne-half cup OF but
ter. one-haif cup Of milk, one and orc
half cups Of -four. one cup OF sugar. two
eggs-Yeiks and whites beaten sopa-
ratsiy-one teaspoonfal cream Of tar
tar, one-haIf teaspoonful of soda--Bos-
ton Globe.
IAN easy and safe way Of protecting
curtains and mosquito nets against fire
is said TO DO by sleeping them in a so
luton Of phosphate of ammonia. OBJ
tanned By mixing a pint Of water with
three ounces OF phosphate The color
and texture remain unlltered.
-Stewed Watercress: Pick over, boil
rapidly for ten minutes and DRAIN
Make little white sauce with milk,
butter, -four and seasoning, lay in the
crosses and stir until hot Serve with
hard boiled eggs cut in quarters
Poultry Monthly.
Ice Cream: Twoquarts OF rich milk,
two teaspoonfuls Of corn starch, nine
eggs beaten TO a froth, two cupfuls of
granulated sugar, two teaspoonfus Of
vanilla, or any other flavor. Heat the
milk boiling bot; beat the eggs, sugar
and corn starch together, and stir In
the milk. Cook few moments. When
cool. put in the hsvorlng and freeze. -
Hammer and Herald.
Bean Soup Is simple and beautiful.
Take one cupfui OF beans, at breakfast
time. and put on IN cold water with one
half tcaspoonfni OF soda, parboil. rinse
with cold water, then but tho beans on
with q quart OF clear, cold water. Let
come to a boil. cook slowly till mushy,
add one or two oupfuls OF tomatoes,
either stewed or sliced raw, and cook
oue-half hour. not forgetting 70 season
with salt and pepper and little sugar.
-Housekeeper
Cream Pie without Cream: beat
the yelks Of two eggs with two-thirds
OF n cup OF white sugar, and half cup
Of -four Put pint OF milk in double
kettle over the Ire. When IL boils. stir
in the eggs, flavor with extract OF
lemon. Bake q pie crust and set tho
mixture TO cool. When the crust is
done pour the mixture in and bake
fifteen minutes. Beat tho whites with
IN egg.beater, and add two tablespoon
fuIs OF fine sugar; frost the pie and set
On top the CRATE TO brown frosting. -
Household.
"A Vegetable Pudding: Boil firm,
white cabbage fifteen minutes, changing
the wator for more boiling water. When
tender set IL aside until cold. Chop IL
nne, add two eggs beaten and table,
spoon Of butter, three tablespoonfuls of
rich milk or cream, pepper and salt
Stir all well together. and bake in a
pudding-dish till brown. and serve hot
This dish Is agreeable and digestible,
and as good as cauliflower. BY boiling
tho water, then pntting in the cabbage.
and as soon as the water begins to boil
again taking of the lid. the offensive
odor which often arises may be avoided.
-Boston Globe.