The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1890-10-30
coURTn yG. TWO GIRLS.
Kafe Thorn Has bmcthingts Soy on That
bbjSct.

It t,kes quite a. smart 1nau to court
two pirIs ct once, Al I'd do it successfully.
Where Ne Jun con- es in, we do not un.
derstapd; perhaps, because we have
never been o msI', and courting two
girls at the same !me.
The man Who j 20 this, must be very
circumspect I'd careful, or he may gel
things mixed. Mi mics picture may be
worn when he Wis it's Laura. and vict
uersa, if be be NOT careful. The lock
of fair hair may be brought to the front,
when The ebon tres ought to be dis
olaved. The trens ured knot Of blue
ribbon mny creep OF 1t of the vest-pocket
on tho heart size. at the very time when
il would seem so sw, ,et to her to sec the
scarlet in its st',ad.
When the Young N an who is court
inp two pirls' wr, ties Iove-letters to them,
what if no shou Id put the delicious
missives in tho wr 3ng envelope!
What if he shou, d take Minnie to the
opera, and Laura 81 ,onld sit opposite?
He must bc in ,erploxed frame OF
mind fer the most of the time. He
loves them both the best, and if all
we're in the river drow uing at once, he
would not know VIII. 'ch to save, and
would bo obliged to le t them drown,
and save himself. He is as happy as a
prince with either one OF them, bus II
both should appear on til scene at the
same time, he would be su preinesy mis-
erable.
He divides his time betWt teen them
he buys candy, and peanuts, and per-
tumery, for both of them; he plays
backgammon with both papas; and
holds yarn to wind for both mam1 las
and allows the little brothers and SIS
iers of both girls to put molasses-sma Cy
in his whiskers, and cracker cruan oa
down his back. He adlnires Min1Is s
pet cat, and submits to have her ru b
her hairs off on his black clothes, lone :
ing to wiring her neck while she does 1t, !;
and he keeps cool while Laura's pootEh
snaps at his heels, and tries not to
think of hydrophobia when the little
wretch's sharp teeth penetrate his colH-
duroys.
he vows to each fair enslaver that hos
never loved before. That the sun, and.
moon, and stars, and most of the re-
spectacle comets, may fall, before ho'
proves untrue. He hopes the earth may:
open and swallow him if he ever ceases:
to love. For him there is but one guild:
ing star-but one beacon-but one heay--
en-and ne is there. Unfortunately,
there a. tM shes in the arrangement
The s....o catalogue Of VOWS answer
in both cases. They are patented. and
ready for use on any occasion. Both:
girls are the dearest, and sweetest, and.
loveliest, and he is 80 anxious to marry
so very anxious-juSt as soon as he:
Gees which pater fan,iliaS is likely to-
come down the heaviest in bridal por-'
tons. Of course, young man has to-
look ont for his own interest. He loves.
them both, but he can marry but one,
md as long as his affection for both is
so sincere, he must decide in favor Of
the one whose family dosire the most
earnestly to get rid of her, and insure.
success by 'bestowing on her liberal
dowry.
It seems to US that the young man.
who is courting two girls, must be be-
tween two fires. We don't envy him
the struggle he must make to keep his
affair with one girl secret from the
other. And it is generally all mans
life is worth to be able to please one
woman, and how on earth does our
young man manage to please two?
By and by, both girls find out the
game he has been playing, and then.
ten TO o:.e. they both "mitten" him, and
he has to begin the world anew. And
all the bouquet, and candy, and per-
fumery business has to be gone over
again; and by the time he really gets
ready to marry, all the girls have found
him out, and wouldn't marry him to-
save themselves from having Miss en-
graved on their tombstones.-Neao York.