The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1890-08-10

/ ID @l
ATE THE WATERMELON.
Island. and asks to know if the island
has society for the prevention Of cru
city to animals.
1t has, Mrs. Skinner McPhelim, it has.
1t is one Of the most pungent and vocif-
erous societies for the prevention of
good that we have, according to reports.
Agents Of the organization make it very
hot for people who own animals, if am
correctly informed in the matter, and I
advise you, if you hope to spend the
heated term on Staten Island, to leave
your carriage horses and other heir
looms at the flat, where they will not
be disturbed. Owners here have been
stopped ON the street, arrested and fined,
in fact, for not shoeing their horses,
while as matter of fact they we're too
poor to even shoe their children. Mis-
guided philanthropy is as injurious to
the public welfare as the live rat caught,
kerosened and ignited by farmer in
northern Vermont last season. He drove
away all the other rats, also the farmer
and his family, by burning down the
whole ranch. In his nice warm little
room at the poorhouse this summer the
farmer says to his wife as he inserts an
other little titbit of mush and molasses
among his whiskers, 1.-THE overzealous
and i'll guided ass is sometimes as dam
gerous to mankind as the level headed
rogue"
The Society for the Prevention of
Cruelty to Animals arrested widow
woman on the highway for tying to-
gether the hind limbs of female hog,
or swinette, which was being transport
ed from one point to another. Those
who have handled hogs know that it is
absolutely necessary to tie their legs if
they are conveyed by wagon, or they
will jump out, The society removed the
cords, whereupon the hogine leapt out
OF the wagon and broke her leg. Pre-
vention people not only sometimes do
not frequently know how to handle
hogs, but also they do not know how to
prevent cruelty. l could name some
more Of the instances reported, but these
will suffice to show you that the society
is fourishing, several of the agents do
ing very thrifty business who have al
ways failed at everything else in life.
The following note comes from Tro-
jan who has suffered otherwise:
TROY, July 10. 1890
Mr.. Bill. NyE: Kindly give us your experiences
at and opinion of q clam bake, ono of tho most
ridiculous institutions OF the United States. Very
respectfully,
ONE WHO WAS THoRoueBlY DIsausTED AT ONE
OF THEM.
Clam bakes are not always unsuccess-
full. Even if they. are unsuccessful from
your own point Of view they might not
be from the standpoint of the man who
prepares them. was one of small
party of plain American citizens who
bought out clam kiln and collie works
last season at Long Branch. had been
| accustomed to life among the lowly III
years past, having been born of poor but
extremely brainy parents. had also
lived in the wild and woolly west, where
CLAIMS and other specimens of insect life
are regarded with distrust. There yor
can buy, or could at the time l lived
there, a hind / of elk for $3.50, hang
it in your wood shed and feed {
good sized family on it for week. 81
said to friend or two: "Here is ;
natural product of the soil, the cheapes
and commonest of Gods imperviou
fauna, the low browed and weak minded
clam. We will get some one to bak
some for US, then we will eat water
melon and play that we are amenable t.
no law, but that we are free and unfet
tered, and as careless of human life as
/ steam heating company or g young ply
h sician." We ordered no wine, but jus
= clans and watermelon.
Another party from New York ais
ordered a clam bake at the same time
g so that the same kiln dried all the CLAIMS
In baking CLAIMS you heat q lot of stone
in {. not fire, throw them in a hole alon
VITA your clans, green corn. groun
feed, etc, etc. You then cover up tn
mass, and so away fishing or pitchin
IS horse shoes till you smell something
That is the clans. You then borrow
six-tine pitchfork, such as is used by OF
g best livery stable people, and fork OF
your CLAIMS and green corn, serving no
Guests will wait on themselves. Aftt
the CLAIMS are served you load u lare
n shotgun with hot fence nails and colle'
the biz.
ate the left lobe of three underdor
Waterbury CLAIMS, an ear OF hot see
r. corn and slice of soured and pessinist
watermelon. Ny bill was $2S-that
exclusive Of nurses and medical atten
ance.
do not care for clans, anyway.
as cannot come up With clam. Isom
- times feel that T would like to, but I ca
not. Neither can my boots.
Twas quite Ill after ate these clan
q. having thrown away the most digestit
part, viz, the shell, and foolishly eat
On the clam. On the steamer coming hor
III Macy people who had been greatly d
az appointed all day in the matter Of epjo
meut came nm on deck watched NV cyvJ