Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1890-05-07

- TYs5EF.7.YNN
htakss Dsrrtck y raissa - IN
on City.
Strange Iact thas hi NJ sppls
~ satsn ~ che hrsa pAir.
WHY dos : sailor know therosa man
n the moonf He has bOsn 4oaoaA
BAD cooking makes crimina1s, says
: writer. And they In tuIn eook mp
iob....
IT i the man Who peddies h6oersphy
Of himself who takes his lie q y own
hands.
SonE mon complain bitterly u jail
fare. and yet 90 back there soon after
being released.
WIrE-You loved me beioro ~ were
married. Hubby-Well, IL your turn
to love me now, isn't its
A wrT seeing the name sHaswell.
upon . door, said that the ~gsntlsman's
name would he ~ we'll without the H.
MARRIAGE 10 never D failure but .
business partnership or : hasty contract
between two people Of opposite exc is
apt to grow irksome.
BoBBY-P., what does tho pawn
brokers' sign OF three balls mean?.
PA-It means, Bobby, that il Ii two to
one that the man never redeems his
property.
@CHARLIr, that's a handsome cape
overcoat OF yours. The man that made
il must know his business .Yes,
Snipp made that; he's q man u great
cape-abilities."
Mr. SoKER-Funny how coe for
gets ones Latin and Greekl I can't
remember my 'hic, xbaec, hoe even.
Mrs. ST. think you remember your
shic' pretty well.
sHr-Da pape ok you sbsut your
incomef He-Yes. 6he-And You
told him that little fb about the large
salary? He-Yes. She I'm 20 glad.
He-Well, I'm sorry. Hell borrowed %.
@SAY, waiter, ! reckon you've taken
my order oil wrong. I ordered spring
chicken and . bottle of II claret.
Here you've gone and brought me a
II chicken and : bottle Of spring
claret."
And you say you would die for me?"
Darling, / would with delight" ~Then
give me that test Of your affection and
/ will never wed another" Thus far
there has been no announcement Of his
| funeral.
SOLD out your grocery business a.
ready? What for3 Couldn't make
any money out Of it? "You should
have stuck to it longer. You hadn't
perseverance, enough" (Wearilyl. mo,
l suppose I lacked sand"
Mr.. ToorLEs (who has been scolded
by his wife for being ont late)--If You
don't like it, my dear, why don't you
strike, % factory employees sometimes
do? Mrs. Tootles-No; I won't strike,
but you'll find therell DO . lockout
some night.
AWHY, Clara, you look radiant! What
has happened?" i've just received an
invitation to q wedding" well, there's
nothing particular in that to 60 into
raptures over" "Yes,. but it happens
to be my own" and she showed her new
engagement ring.
CHARLES DICKENS once said: aDo
nothing in the dark" He was right, ~
every man who has stepped on o rock
ing-chair during the wee anna hours Of
tho morning might testify. What man
needs, apparently, is q night-drsss with
smatch-box attached to it.
WILL They say you are deal. Is it
true. BillY Bill-Well, yes, ! am deaf
to certain sounds. That's q popularity
Of deaf people. you know. Will-Oh,
/ see. Can you lend me Ave dollars ?
Bill-What's that. Please speak louder.
I = scarcely hear . word You say.
Nov, that's = fine picture, father"
pointing to an old master in the museum.
@That picture cost 10000" .Pshaw !
its nothing to brag Of" "Hold onl
I'm wrong" consulting the catalogue.
"The picture cost 800, OOO. I'VE don't
say! THAT'S what / call . mighty fine
picture"
EFrIE TO Mrs. Belweather, who has
just been speaking of MI. B.)-Why,
Mrs. Belweather. I thought you hadn't
any husband2 Mrs. B..-Why, Of course
/ have Fife. Do You mean to say that
You don't know Mr.. Belweather ?
Efie-Yes, but / didn't suppose he was
your husband. / thought You hadn't
any. Papa said you married for money,
aud that wa all you got.
HE LOVED e STILL.
Her voice was harsh and she jawed al day,
I'LL her husband was crazy, a. one may
say
From morn to night 1t was chin, chin, chin,
And people who couldn't help hearing the
din
Know well that the man had a cross to hear,
And he cried in the depth Of his Wild de-
SPAR,
~I've loved, I've loved her through good and
Ill,
And with all her faults i love her STILL