Morning journal and courier., 1890-01-20
FRANK.

How frankly the girl of sixteen admits
that she is an old maidl-Atchison Globe.
The true humorist never smiles-that is
unless somebody else pays for it.-Kearney
Enterprise.
When man waltzes off to Canada it is
sometimes from desire to escape the galops.
Boston Transcript. '4,'s -ss'r -
"When Idrink much I can't work, and so
I let it alone. " The drinking!" "No, the
working" Fliegende Blatter.
A Tyre five feet high was recently discover
ed in Greece. They are going to make a
weather prophet of it.-New York Journal
The man who picks up wire on the
street Is quite likely to get hold of something
that will cure him of the grip.-Scranton
Truth.
Pretty girl-"How much is this stuff
yardg" Impudent shopkeeper-"A kiss"
Pretty girl-"Then will take three yards.
My grandmother will pay you.-Pick Ne
Up.
Little Angel (sent down to the parlor to
entertain caller)-"Oh, yes, my sister will
be down in a minute. She ia getting over a
crying spell because her other beau didn't
ome."-Time.
Papa-"If have to speak to you again I'll
whip you" The terror-"Say, papa, what
did you have little boy for If you can't get
Philadelphia Inquirer.
by her mother why she had not asked Gods
forgiveness for some special act of disobedi-
ence. "Why, mamma, didn't suppose you
wanted it mentioned outside the family
New York Herald.
ri beg your PARDON" said reporter to a
man who stood at the foot of one of the cleo
trio light poles intently watching a lineman
,s. Th9 was Ss e wofn s the top Sus
the man addressed. ssI am not. I am an I'M.
dertaker."-Life.
Farmer Begosh has been standing on the
corner studying the letter box some minutes.
Finally he remarked to the policeman who
was passing: "Great invention" eyes"
"But can't make 1t out" "It's very sim-
ple." 81 s'pose 80, but how much must you
drop into the slot, and what is the blamed
thing supposed to doi''-Merchant Traveller.
White citizen-"Well, jackson, what are
you doing for living nowP' Colored oiti-
zen-.'Ain doin' nothini; de old woman
you ashamed of yourself to allow your wife
to support you by washingP Colored Citizen
-"Well, boss, my ole woman am a mighty
ignorant nigger an don't know how to do
muffin else. ."-Nunsey's Weekly.
MIR. Lonely villers (turning suddenly to
suspicious character who has been following
him home)-'Please. sir, gimme a dime to
git cup of coffee; I've just walked all the
way from Albany. don't want it to buy
whiskey with-indeed, don't" Unsus-
picious Character-"B Blast my soull To think
I've been shsdowing blamed old pauper for
over three. quarters of q mile. ."-Puck.
Judge-"Jim Webster, you are accused by
| Sam Johnsing of having shot him intention
| ally with fine shot while you were out hunt
| ing together" Webster-"No sich ding,
boss. He shot hisseff ackerdentally, and now
he lays 1t on NO." "But it's not likely that
he would shoot himself in the back" "Oh,
you don't know dat niggsr. Oars NO rascal
ity what he amt capable OBJ doin'."-Texas
Siftings.
Jones Cat the Broadway Theater)-Hello,
| Straitlacel didn't expect to find you here.
I thought You didn't approve of this sort of
| show.
| Straitlace-No, don't; but Tom Madison
wanted to SEQ the Gaiety girls and just to
| please him said I'd 60 with him.
Jones-But where is Tom MadisonS
Straitlace-Oh, he was called away to Phil
adelphia this afternoon, so he couldn't come
--Nunsey's Weekly.