Bismarck weekly tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1943, 1890-03-14
THE STOVE

it did not place them beyond the pale Of
forgiveness.
THE STOVE STATESMAN
SCENE u-UNMAsKKD.
TGoodwinicus the innocent, who defed the
sisnai 6 sase Is d PfSa giSery AZ against G5istn tsss Ct Sod ssn'1 (
private letter to his friend johnson in which he
tells him to publish the sensational accusations
upon receipt OF the ,c:ypher massage set up
Quizes,l
Go%od.cinlcus: Teeth chnttering. ] By gloom o
death, tbs cold!
The bleak March winds in dirges moan
As round M trembling form Official Death
His icy fingers in grim Rlee doth Irvine.
Oh, passing greatness! tickle, feeting fame!-
I swear by COLLINS that in graveyard. stalk
That whilst the power O. speech within me lies
IN curse the day, that in M bosom crept
The damned o'erweaning, yet congenisl hope
That as detective I could laurels win.
Millerius: Entering excitedly.] Didst hear the
bomb, Goodwinicus,
by which the enemy thy mask removes
And leaves m cabinet in nakedness revealed
Unto the gaping and astounied world?
Montgomaerius: Failing hendlong.] Oh, pule
Goodwinicus, what hellish work is this
BY which our laughing foes do jibe and jeer
And give ia cruel boots as we do PASS?
Good,imtcus: [Glaeing] Marry. by the gods,
why come ye here,
M misery to mock with ~taunting eyes?
Dost hound me thus with queries most migrate
Because, forsooth. M tracks have been revealed?
Is't not enough that in the battle fierce
Alone fell, with none to give me cheer?
Where did ye hide whilst senatorial foes
Their poison-pointed arrows of contempt and
scorn
With deadly aim didst at m body hurl?
I ask ye, sirs, where crouched ye in the fray,
When with m shield of folly-stuffed ''opinions'
I stood between ye and the CALLING fire?
Mi1erius:: aside to Montl. BY Jupiter, this
man is doubly mad,
And it doth now behoove US to console him
Or by the frenzy that his senses shake,
Destruction will o'ertake us in his wake,
Here they congratulate him that notwithstand-
his private letter, he was proven a rising detect
i've by his ingenuity in telling his friend, Editor
johnson, to publish the sensation upon receipt
OF the message: "Set up stoves ,"
Goodvinicats breaking from their embrace
Stop i! Thy p~rattling cease Tie up thy tongues!
For by the bursting heart that in me burns
If We do speak again of stoves set up.
I will with one wild shrek dissolve in rage.
Set up stoves" indeed Stoves. black stoves!
[Startingl What's that I see in yon dark nook?
All, villain, tbs a stove Ia red-eyed stove!
See! Holdk 1t seemeth to approach!
And with a mouth of fire and tongue of flame,
With rotund form and short and handy legs
Seeks in it's fiendish hunger to devour me.
And now as l do gaze where once was space,
NJ startled eyes can see naught else save stoves!
Yonder, a tall one, black and deathly grim,
With pipe that stands like snake upon its tail!
And here doth ZONE a little creeping cuss
With swapping teeth as if he fain would bite me!
The air, the sky, the earth, the moon and stars,
Yea, all the universe Gems crowded ~overfull
With demon eyed and misunderstanding stoves
Beware, Millerius, for devils come in droves,
Whenever thou speakst to me of 'set up stoves
[Exeunt all, lodging invisible hardware.]