The intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1887-1891, 1890-12-20

Gl1- No instrument will be filed until the
fee Is paid. I'D
A DENVER WRITER AND SOME OF
HIS WORKS.
Last week in our local columns ap-
peared the latest and most popular
song, "Down the Alley Turns Nc,
Nally," the music to which was COM
posed by "de Soult- Baride,r of this
city, and the words by Stanley Wood,
of Denver, Col. Mr.. Wood is gaining
great reputation as writer OF all
sorts of humorous articles. and aside
from the real humor contained in
the article printed below, our people
will read after him with interest
and appreciation from the fact tha.
he is associated IN his work with
one OF onr most prominent citizens:-
Stanley Wood, the genial editor of
the Great Divide, takes rank as one OF
thO icouihS huhotOuS WTitcTs Vi Tue
west.
HIS work is not confined to this line
OF writings, however, but possesses
rare versatility.
Aside from hi3 journalistic duties he
has found time to write the libretti OF
two operas, musical comedy, anl
number of descriptive sketches, some
very charming verses and several pop
ular songs.
The following quaint humorous
selections are taken from recent issue
of the Great Divide, of which Mr.
Wood is the editor:
Feb. 81, '59.-Mud Hen Holler hez
ben hily onored two da. The Earl of
herocene Limited) haz maid nss u
caUl. The Earl iZ q rustler and is bGtel
knone among over innflooenshal cIti-
zeDs too mite than menny an old timer
that haZ stood bi the camp sense il
startid. Thare haz ben big contest
AZ TO hoo shood entertaign thee Earl,
but Kernel &. Crosby won the prize.
lit IL sed that the Earl haz promist too
maik kernul Crosby a Night OF the
Garter il thee Kernul il knot to modist
too except it'll; ast the Earl whi hee
Oncisted on bein' knone az the Earl off
Kerocene (Limited) Hee replighed: :
"Aw, mi desh boi, it's too protect me
fcenowuCes, don 'cherknow Suppose
yew shood Ordah thee drink faw NEE
ali yew, an then declIgn to pa. The
blawsted bahkeepah Good knot collect
from NEE, don tcherknow, ,becawZ when
| was ipcorpereighted an Earl the in
corperashun waz Limited SEP" Az
the Earl never orders any drink him
self. and az hee iZ knot responsible fer
thozs ordered bi anibodi else, lit strix
NEE that hiz '.leenawnces" air pritty
vel proteclid. Thee Earl IL a CRATE
drlnker and never decligns ainvilashun
TOO imbibe, thow az yeti hee haz knot
been knone too ast ennywon too drink
att hiz xponse. This IL a drawback
butt
Moral reilexshun:--
Onor and iHlm from no kondshun riZe
| Act we'll your part, there awl the Onor lize
Feb. 2Sth, '59.-l hav had a CRATE
time TO da. Have been 10 Denver too
sea about gettin' a quart or 3 off tipe
tor the weakli Hold Upp. Mead sa
did knot get itt2 This waz thee wal
it happened: When gott too Denver
| went intwo a hard wear stoar an
SEE: "I'm the Editor off the Mud Hen
Holler Weakli Hold Up" "Can''
hold NEE np," sez the smart Alec
behind the counter. 81 hav CAME" seq
| with dlgnerty, "too purchase sun
lipe." "DOn't sci no type" sez the
smart Alec; ''gow too print shopp.'
l smighled hawtily and withdru. All
| las I -,
"Gimme quart tipe." "Don't sci 1t by
thee quart" seZ the baws. "How
then2" sen |. "Bi thee pownu," se7
hee. "Wel, then" sez I,with tryum
phai smighI, gimme two pints, tol
what sez the Poote:
A pint's a pownd
| Thee wurld arownd,
so I'll have mi weight and get quart
and yewl hav yewr weigh and give me'
too pownds."
"I'le pownd yew" sez he, 'sif yeW
don't get out. Yew kant sci NEE OF
kno sutch fool gain az that.p | wa
abowt too mock hymn down when saw
hee had a gun pinted in mi d!reckshui
thare 4 polightly skipt.
Z S.-Thee Hold Up will knot b,
| 1850 w GU thios WOoh.
Moral Reiiexshun: :-C Circumstances alta
kaces.
March 4, '59.-Thare waZ q heetet
discussion in Austin McFarlin's plas,
too mite, att thee meeting Off tn
Society off Ethicall Cul Chewer, as to,
wheather a Chinee waZ reel man o
Ownli ann imitaseun Oft thee genuwin
artickel. Peg Legg johnson, whoo i
CRATE krank, thought thatt thee fac
hiatt he had saw a Chinee wonct tax
drink OFF Whiski sho'd thatt hee had,
human inskint. Prof. Slim lin, W no
haz mOar lerning than All mann eve
struck, arOwse inn graie rath att this
IL sCd:
Il think thee gent IL wa OF hiz bace
Il whenn | git threw with him he
Won't have evnin aO0n legg too stan
, on. Now inn thee iurst plase hec W
haf too admit thatt thee humin rase
speece peqliar too ITSELF Inn hi
"Orationibus de Humanibus" Marku
CicirO observes. "EqO HOminYSuin.
Now Pegg Legg johnson kant dcl
thatt he wood round upp ami Chine
whoo hadd thee gaul too sa 81 am sum,
u yet Pegg Legg wood bee thee las
won too throw of on Cicro Tor makin
thee same remark. WHARF AZ paw
tor q repi. The anser is plaine. Cicr
waZ a mann. But Chiuee iz kila
Cicro, thare 1 Ohinee IL kut
man. Inn thee seckond phase | q
that Chinee Is knott u mann, II whe
Prof Slim Jim seZ anilhing VA kin be
: yur life hee don't take kno back taw
,, irmn noboddi, Especially knot hul
: kno wun-legged suuOi Sc kook lik
johnson" Whenn Prof. Slim Jill
> ceast Pcgg Legg waZ going too bt
!, fool enut TOO "a sumthing in repligl
n but az Ill Priest ! telt il mi duty tC
4 clothes thee discussion, SO | thre
Johnson owt OFF thee back doar & pu
a slnp buckit over hiz he'd. The vo