Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1890-04-02

You pouDee on some poor woman's husband
and DO all you can to make the poor
women jealous OF their husbands. Why a
Crocodile would not do that Did Won ever see a
crocoqlle! crocodile would steal before he
would make anybody jealous. An old crocodile
dressed IN q silk dress. How would she look?
rsed "'e to was 90 never Jealous q me;
and put my arms around the cooks neck and
kiss her. My wife was the cook. Brother
LoWoer, G,d you ever kiss your wife's COOKE
Never believe anything your husbands. 4
lady always said If you have anything to SAY
about my husband I will call him il so he can
near It. An old mother-in-lsw racking round
saying I would not stand it I am now speak
ing of those old typhOons.
never married but one OF the family, and
don't want the others around too much. A good
mother in-law is the grsndeSt thing a married
man ever had. next TO 4 good wife. There axe
others VINO are hard cases. Let uB truAt God and
each other When man says every man has
his price that's the best evidence that ne is d
scoundrel. He is measuring other peoples corn
by mis- own half bushel, and ne IS afraid "a
won't hold ont. When q man talks that waY
10 me always put my hand on my pOcketbOOk-
| Will get everything want if I do the viii OF
Coo / don't like solemn religion. That's
why like Brother Wells. He is always sulil-
ing. be has smiled nearly all the hair of his
head and he looks IS II he was going 70 90 on
smiling. When I am home and see my little
boy looking solemn l know something Is wrong.
1t is either he is sick or bad, and give him
medicine or viii piping. I hate 20 meet these
people who are always singing 'Hark from the
tombs doleful sound That is their most
primer pest lLIle- men DGElu 10 SIG 1 HUAiI
not live always I ask not to stay IN that
community. II you are good what are you look
ing solemn about? Old woman said Brother
Jones, You Rln't got no dignity / said when
am dead viii have as much as anybody
How would you like to hear man 90 TO his
merchant and say, Oh thou greatest merchaus
IN the town, please show me pair OF diyireIy
cClored hose for my WIFE There is as much
religion IN a good laugh as there IS III a prayer.
There amt no religion III crying, for If that's
nay little Bob IS the most religious child IN tho
world, for he cries aIl the time. II you gCr
anything to cry about cry. Show this Old
world that religion never was designed TO make
our pleasures less. used to be afraid of them
big old white eyed preachers. Delight thyselt
IN the Lord and you will DE happy. It is not
what you do, but the spirit. l have said 10
little Bob, son, bring q drink OF water
He goes growing and scolding say, You little
say, Bob. bring me some wa
ter he runs, saying Yes, papa and
when drink he says, Papa want mOre2' ami
l drink another glass full because he IS so kind
Did you ever see these Old Methodist stsy3rds
who talk out Of the corner of their mouths.
They say its money. money money all the time.
They ought not to De allowed 10 live in the
church. Did you ever see 3 congregation shout
when . collection being taken? You
nosed drunkard pays more for whisky than al
Of you put in the church. You old red-nUsed
devil, smut your mouth, you little puppy. You
want excursion rates TO glory. You ought to
have your necks broke. Did you ever hear OF =
dying man being sorry he paid too much
into the church When q fellow gives
il you are mighty liberal. Many a fellow thinks
he is liberal because he has been asked 10 give so
often. They say charity begins Ut home. When
you buy your wife s dress do you say, Pau
per, here is q dress?' Then If your wife
s not a pauper how can charity begin at
home. Some OF you good sisters, your charity
begins at home. You say, 4 win give the
widows mite Great big fellows with whisker5
six inches long, A widow giving q widows
mite. She gave all she had, aud you don g
When you are widow give all you have
and then its the widows mite When
'ou tell them YOU are widow and
rave widow S mite you are \ lie 1t is more
blessed to give than TO receive. L would rather
be the man to give than the one 20 receive. De
light myself in the Lord Whatever you do 90
I with a smile He viii give thee the desires OF
hlne heart. Jones, how do you stand 10 do 50
much work. Because do 1t cheerfully. I hate
o hear folks say Woe Is me II l preach tho
gospel.
You say Paul said it. Paul never said it
With idea that God would let him quit his
work. When you man who had rather do
reach the gospel. He Is not ht to preach
Ome illustrations followed, and Brother Jone IS
ave some hard iCks TO pouting wives. Some
muslng incidents OF smiling men were given
II don know what God Will do with you IL you
vii stralghten your faces snd quit looking Ike
sod is imposing on you. This solemn religion
often liver disease 1t is bad state of things
Brother Jones dwelt 81 length on tho words.
commit thy way unto the Lord a beautiful
Illustration of . faithful dog was given,
ia Niger IN buggy pulling on
ne rein and the mules head in one direction
nd his body in the other. God pulls on the
ems. The head OF the Christian goes to prayer
leeting and the body goes to the theater.
He closed with an earnest appeal TO Christians
D let God hold the lines Of lives and guide
s in his own way. Penitents were then called
nd several gave their hands.