The Pascagoula democrat-star. (Pascagoula, Miss.) 1878-1920, 1890-02-21
Ghelemorrat-S STIR
NYE AND la P
The HumOriSt Has a TuSsle With the Rus
sian Visitor and Several other
Visitors,

biAtiOFNs
"The grippe is getting 10 be an
old theme, and SO will touch light
ly on 1t here. I'm just GONZALES.
cling, and it II viii let me alone |
will let it alone. Avoid it, gentle
reader, if you can. Do not laugh
at it or treat it lightly. Fight shy
OF II, pass by it and light ont. !
was The picture Of health when 1t
came along and touched me gently
on the larynx. Now | am pale
and sad. The doctor dill not ex-
actlv know how to deal with 1t at
first. They had to look about a
little and see for themselves. |
could not eat anything for several
week.. 1t was not for the same
reason that | did not eat when |
was publishing a paper in Wyo-
ming, however. This lime | had
the opportunity without The desire.
Then had the desire without the
opportunity.
This symptom was followed by a
fever, lay fever, cough, heaveS,
dimneSs Of sight, loss of sleep and
hair, pains IN the joints, back and
chest. Everything that was dis
couraging. Then | began to hear
about people who committed sui
eide because they had the glip.
Friends came in AID said | looked
kind Of ilighty and desperate. My
wife Ind my revolver and gave the
rough on rats to the delighted and
%overjOyed rats. | imagined | was
going TO die of heart failure or soft
ening of the brain. | thought |
could hear my brain Soflening.
When | turned over | thought |
could hear it >losh up against the
rafgers of my head.
All my life came back 10 me in
a moment. | remembered a good
deal that | would have paid some
thing to forget. | saw the state
ment Of MY account and noticed
that large discounts had been made
on the credit side, charged To "col-
lectlons." Several hundred new
entries had also been made on the
debit side.
Finally | lost consciousness and
expected 10 awake in some new
and undiscovered country. When
| did awake 1t was 1890. The boy
who brings my kilograms wished
me a happy New Year; the dis,
trict messenger boy, nine Of hIm.
did the same. 1t cost me so cents
apiece. The expressmen who had
worked nights 10 bring gifts TO the
house went away 81 ahead. The
boy who said he delivered The pa
perS 10 me every morning wanled
TO wish me a happy New Year;
also several other boys who lied.
Then a boy, who said Re held
my horse last year while I went
into the postoffice. wished ne a
happy New Year; | bought him
off. a poor woman, who said she
had a lame boy who moved my
lawn two years ago, wished me a
happy New Year, and got a pair of
checkered trousers, almost as GOOD
as new. An old miner, whom ]
had grub staked on Douglass Creek
SIX years ago, stpadied himself bv
the door and wished me a hapuv
New Year; said he had seen by
the papers thai my income was SO
much greater than Vamderbilt's
that Van had gone away ashamed
OF himself. | broke into one OIL
the chlldren's banks and gave the
money they had saved 10 buy a
donkey.
Then | went back to bed again
Everybody wishes me a happy New
Tear-at 50 much per wish.
But | did not murmur or repine
The year 1889 ha, been good to me.
and cheeriully | pay my assess
ment, only glad with its other vic
TINS the grip did not, as il wanted
to, gather me in. | hope, however,
that as America grows she will not
build up, as other countries have, |
an army Of whining holiday beg
gars, so that, instead of DAYS OF
rejoicing, the holidays will take
away u appelites and bring out
the accumulated cripples of 500
years.
The holidays in Paris are the
most sad and sickening of the year,
for then all the sad and screwed
multitude are turned loose on the |
streets, and the man who works
and perspires and battles is the on.
ly one who doesen't make ANYTHING
out OF il or feel like eating it when
dinner comes.
l hope that cheap rates across
the Atlantic and lll-advised rener.
osity on This side will not build up
this coyote industry in the land OF
freedom.