Connecticut western news., 1890-03-26
Nk. AND MRS. BOWSER-
By Mrs. BOwser.

coat and hat, walk through to the sit- ting-room and seeing me on the lounge with my head tied up will gaze at me for full minute without speaking. Then he will finally remark:
 "Didn't tell you so?"
 "What?"
 "You got your feet wet"
 "Oh, no, Mir. Bowser."
 "Then you went out bareheaded, or you have been eating ice-cream or some other balderdash."
 "On the contrary, have been very, very careful"
 "Oh, yes, you women are always very, very careful. If giant was to expose -Aimsef tie way you do he'd be dead in six months. Had the doc tor?"
 "No."
 "That's itl Want to let the typhoid fever get hold of you, don't you? Whats Dr.-'s telephone number?"
 .'Don't call doctor. My head is much better than it was. and shall be all right tomorrow"
 "Well, if you are not I'll call two of them and have you taken to the hos pital. l have no pity on any one who will go sloshing around the way you do. was intending to go to the thea Ire, and here come home ard find you fattened out, perhaps to de- velop a case of yellow fever or small pox."
 MT. Bowser goes tramping around to find fault with his supper, with the cook, with the baby, with the furnace and with everything else which he hap pens to think of, and the evening is rendered very cheerful and happy.
 If happen to be looking down the street when MT. Bowser gets off the car I can tell whether he has head ache or not. He comes slumping along, arms hanging down, eves on the sidewalk, and as open tho door for him he growls out:
 ''Lemme git on to that lounge as soon as possible"
 "Why, what's the matter?"
 "I'm next door to death 1"
 "Have you been hurt, MT. Bowser"
 'sNo. Got headache. Whole top ing!" ........
 help him off with his coat, get him on to the lounge, pull off his gaiters, tuck him up, and then can't help say ing: .'Didn't I tell you SOP"
 "W-what" "You've been careless again. You sat in your office with your feet out of the window, or you held chunk of ice on your lap. or stood in puddle of water in your bare feet. It's won- der to me that any man lives to the age of 3O."
 "O-o-o-oh!" he groans.
 "That's it! Got the black plague or the. .Asiatic cholera hold of you, prob ably! I was going over to Mrs. Cato's tonight to progl essive euchre, but this spells it all. I'll have three doctors up after tea, and have the am- bulance come at the same time."
 Then MT. Bowser sheds tears, and I go and he brick for his feet, tie 2 towel around his head, send baby up stairs and stop the clock so that nothing may annoy him.
 don't suppose that one husb nd in hundred sets out to find fault around the house. It's just their way, you know. They are boss, and they feel that they must keep this fact duly impressed on the minds of their wives. No husband is ever to blame for any accident about the house. The wife always is. For instance, a water pipe down in the basement burst the other day. MT. Bowser got home just as l was about to telephone him.
 "Pipe busted! Who busted it?" he shouted, as he pulled off his overcoat.
 "Why, no one."
 "Yes, they did! Water-pipes don't bust without help! Some of you have been knocking on that pipe with a hammer"
 Iwent down and showed him that the leak was at point where none of us could possibly reach it, but he re- piled:
 "Well, some of you are certainly to blame for it. That's the way-the minute I leave the house something happens! Now we shall have a plumber around here for week or more, with bill of forty or fifty dollars"
 The back kitchen door had to be taken off its hinges and planed off a little, and in rehanging it MT. Bowser got in hurry and only put one screw in the lower hinoe. The cook found the others and laid them aside. One day, after he had got home to dinner, the door fell askew, as might have been expected.
 "Now, what have you done!" shout ed Mir. Bowser to me as the cook came in and reported.
 "I-I didn't break the door," "You didn't! Then who did?' "You didn't put the screws back when you rehung it." "I didn'tl I'll bet you billion dol lars I did. You or the cook went deliberately to work and took those l screws out in order to des roy some- thing. It is a wonder we have a roof left over our heads. Next thing you'll be knocking down some of the parti- ton walls."
 One day center-piece on one of the bedroom ceilings fell to the floor. Knowing MT. Bowser's peculiarities I left matters untouched until he came home to dinner.
 "rhis is nice state of affairs !'' he ex- claimed, as he looked into the bed l room.
 "Why didn't you knock all the chim- neys off the house while you were about it?"
 1 "What did have to do with 1t, Mir. | Bowser?"
 "Weren't you right here all the time? Did do it? Did baby do it3 Did some of the neigbors come in and l knock it down with crowbar?' 1 IlIf fall l,oooi,aa it ,,4