Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1890-10-30
THE LANDLUBBERs' GUIDE.
Suggestions How to Make Yourself O
Favorite on Board a Yacht.


1t is not necessary to purchase
yachting suit nor wear old clothes.
Don the best that you own, not for
getting a tall hat and cane, for they
look we'll on board and are never in the
way.
Purch ase few cigars say six for
quarter. which you can deal out to the
Captain at regular intervals. There is
nothing that pleases yachtsman more
than fragant weed.
When YOU reach the float stage you
will, in all probability, find the yachts
tender awaiting you. Be sure you do
not step squarely in the middle of the
boat, but rather place your foot on the
gunwale. 1t may capsize the boat and
throw the man who is going to row
you off into the water, or you may
spread-eagle yourself.
1t is always good plan to ensconce
yourself in the bow of the tender, as by
SO doing the man at the oars will be
sure to remember your thoughtfulness
for boat pulls so easy when down
by the head"
When you come alongside the yacht
be prepared to call out ship ahoyl
Where are you boundP Let 90 your
lee mainsheet anchor" or some such
expression as that This will lead the
company to suppose that you are well
up in nautical parlan ce.
Never offer to assist in hosting the
sail, for the strength of pen-pusher or
counter-jumper would be apt to part
the halyards. or split the 'shives" in
one of the blocks.
1t will be much better for you to
comfortably seat yourself in the coil of
the mainsheet, so that when the skip
per wants to fill away quickly before
the wind you will have a chance to
arise in hurry and thus show your
agility.
If you should happen to get one leg
! damned in a turn you mustn't find fault
or swear, for it is something that is
| liable to happen to any one.
| Another good place to find a seat is
! on the centreboard box. To be sure.
the CAPTAIN might push you off rather
unceremoniously as he jumps to lower
the board and bring his craft up to the
wind You must not mind this, it is
only in fun.
There is one thing that skipper is
always delighted to have his guests do.
| That is to have one offer to take the
! tiller from his hand before he gets
clear of the fleet of yachts anchored
near by.
When well down in the channel, and
YOU are passing excursion steamers, be
| sure to shout at the top Of your voice,
! wave your hat, and sing "a Life on the
Ocean Wave
Never allow a lobster buoy to come
| within reach without making grab
for it. Although the chances are that
you won'i catch it, still the attitude
which you will assume will be greatly
divertin2 to your companions.
Should the Captain have forgotten
to lay in a few penny bundles of wood
whereby to start the fire, look around,
! forward, until you find rusty Ratchet
! and IA piece of wood; then take it to the
rail or rest it on the fOrebitts while
you chop.
If you have any beer or coffee dregs
left in cup, and wish to throw them
overheard, climb to windward and
''chuckn them well out.
When you come to anchor for the
night, you must remember, If you are
near summer resort. that it is very
important that you should 90 ashore
and make yourself as much of Il null
sance as possible to the army of servant
| girls who are out Oh the beach for an
airing.
Talk loudly about ''our yacht and
"what kind of a run we made coming
down" "a good boat, but hardly
large enough" Talking with Bur-
CESS Cor some other designer) for a
| model of a 40-foOter."
You must for the time imagine your
| self an Aston o. a Vanderbilt, other
wise you will stand no show with the
girls.
After returning to the yacht, select
the softest transom and stretch your
self out for a nights repose. If, how
ever, the drowsy god fails to come at
your bidding, sit up and sing for the
edification of the others. They will be
sure to enjoy it. no matter how sleepy
| they may be.
Should the foregoing suggestions be
closely followed, the young man will be
sure to receive many pressing invita-
| tions-to stand upon the beach and
watch the yachts sail out andthe yachts
sail in.-B0St0D Globe.