The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1890-08-26
PHUNNY
OBEDIENCE

OBEDIENCE.
John, will you mind the baby p
- VIII my dear, II you think [ can
make him mind me-"
We'll, did the lawyer tell you that you
were a fool ?"
"Oa, no, l knew it myself"
TRUE EN-UGH.
COuntryman-Whlch,s the American
eagle, bub?
Circus Attendant-The gid eagle.
~CYCAoPEDIC PAPA.
What is the sugar question, pa?"
1.-The sugar q I~eStion, my son, is gener-
ally will you nave one or two Jumps ?"
A DISAGREEMENT
Clerk OF the Court-Well, gentlemen,
have you arrived 1t d Yer let?
Foreman OF Jury-Yes, SIT two Of
them.
II NEw THE DANGER.
"Does your wife object to your literary
work ?"
No; all she Objects to is the type
writer"
GENTLE lin
Young Staylate-Yes, Miss Edith, I
always pay as [ go.
Edith-Iadeed! Then 1 suppose you
n ,ver pay.
NOT TIA KIND OF SLAVE.
drinking beer? Why, l thought you
were a temperance man p
g 10 ON Int Pm MT a Clovo To tho
cold water habit"
BUT SHE DID NOT 60.
Why, Johnny, what do you mean by
offering 4 cent to the old no Sc p
Why, pspa, I heard you say that
money made the mare 60"
GOOD REASON WHY.
Young Phy>ician-There are nine doc
tors IN this town. I'm going to leave.
Towns nan-Not discouraged, Decor?
Young Physician-No; only out Of
patience.
WILLING TO HELP TIE OLD LADY.
IL W a-a-ant to be a nangel," sang
Smither' sewife's mother.
off there is anything [ can do to help
you" said Smithers, "don't hesitate to
let me know"
HAD NET HER REFORE.
Miss Talkativc-Say, Gussie, can you
tell me the difference between myself and
this umbrella?
He-Aw, yes Well, you can shut up
the umbrella.
GOOD UT.
q Want a running suit"
"This is a good, durable suit"
care the colors fast p
eyes. You'll have great difficulty in
keeping up with them"
QUESTION OF TIME
"B 1t, doctor, you said last week that
the patient would certainly die, and now
he is perfectly well"
Madam, the confirmation of my prog
nosis is only a question of time"
HARD WORK
John seems to have aged p~rematurely
in the last three years."
Eyes, John has had a good deal on his
mind"
What has he been doing?'
Trying to think up some way of liv-
ing in luxury without working
SHE DESERVE IT.
In a jew4lry store.
Il love you, " said the bro ze figure of
Venus to aJurgensen above her, because
you have such an open face"
And the watch ran down and kissed
her.
HE WAS PUZZLED.
Advertising CIerk--Your advertisement
begins: Wanted, a silent partner
Patron-Yes, that's it.
" Business Opportunities or "Matri-
monial?'
"Dear me, dear me-" quoth Benjamin
"What'S the matter now ?" asked Lige.
"Ive been out in the surf with that
latest cottage tale of ours"
wei ?"
1t won't wash"
THEN He WAS DRUNK.
Magistrate (to police oficer)-Are you
sure that the prisoner was drunk?
Omicer-Is it dhrunk, your honor ?
Shure af he I'D syhoke through the till
phone the BIRTH Nv i'm I'D av made the
poles shtagger.
HE AVE HIS OPINION.
Wife (reading)-Here it tells about a
man 90 years old who brings up all the
coal and chops all the wood used in the
family. What do you think of that?
Husband 'contemptuously)-Well, he
must be a fool!
SHE DID NOT FILL THE BILL.
Agent (to manager)-I have a singer I
can recommend-beautiful stylish, grand
dresser, splendid presence.
Manager-What about her voice?
Agent-Do you mean to say that you
require that, too?
O OBSERVER.
is your papa left-handed, Miss Amy?"
asked young Dolly.
ono; why?' asked Amy, in surpris.
"Nothing. Only 1 wondered if be
were, as he used left foot last night, when
L. ;1vitoS ma ~ 1oovaD