, 1890-05-14

How shrswd Natives Work the American
Traveller I'm Ireland.


How shrewd Natives Work the American
Travellers in ireland.
Irish wit loses much of its keenness
by repetition. Thoroughly TO appreci-
ate it one must listen to Pat as on his
native soil he hushes forth those rapier
like expressions which convulse his
listeners. The larger part Of Celtic
wit is epigrammatic. 1t springs sud
denly from its environments. In Ire
land it is distilled from almost every
situation. AS soon as the American
lands in Ireland he begins to hear it.
The traveller first comes in contact
with the professional beggar at Queens
town. From an economic standpoint
these beggars are the pests Of the
Green Isle. They give travellers alto
gether a wrong impression in regard
TO the true nature of the Irishman as
he is in his native land. Still the
American cannot help being pleased
with them on account of their witty
sayings. A recent traveller in Ireland
was accosted by one of these profes-
SIGNALS. In all essential respects the
beggar closely resembled the Witch of
Endor, She was lean and evidently
hungry. She stood in an attitude ex-
pressive of extreme humility, with
her hands clasped before her. She said
nothing, but her attitude was a very
beseeching one. Thinking from her
looks that she was deserving of char
ity, the traveller said to her:
Now, madam, if l give you a shil-
ling will you promise not to follow
me around the streets during my stay
in Queenstown"
"Arrah, sir, may the blessin' Of
heaven come down upon ye, sir; may
we niver know want, and may ye'er
wife niver attind ye'er funeral"
She received the shilling in her
wrinkled palm, and as long as the
traveller was within hearing she called
down blessings upon him. He re
manned in Queenstown one week.
During that time wherever he went he
saw the miserable spectacle of the
poor beggar woman Her looks al
ways asked for aims. This went on
until it became unbearable to the tray
eler. One morning as he came out of
his hotel he saw her standing on the
opposite side of the street in the usual
pitiful attitude. To put it mildly, he
was vexed. He decided to put an end
to the nuisance. Crossing the street
rapidly to where the woman stood, he
said:
Madam, didn't you agree not to
follow me after l gave you the shil-
lingl"
Faith, l did, sir"
"Well, why in thunder do you fol
low me so2"
The woman smiled and replied:
''Shure, sir, it's not me that's foller.
in ye; it's ye that's follerin' me-"
The traveller gave her a sixpence.
There is another nuisance in most of
the large Irish towns. 1t is in the
shape Of the small boy. After leaving
Queenstown the traveller spoken OF
above met one Of these pocket edition
Celts at the Cork station. Said the
boy, who was no more than twice as
large us the travellers valise:
"Wu'd ye lave me carry the bagl"
The traveller doubted the boys
strength, yet he yielded the valise to
his eager grasp. The bag was heavy
and the boy gradually became bow
legged in his efforts TO carry it. On
arriving at the hotel the traveller gave
the boy sixpence and dismissed him.
He came out upon the sidewalk an
hour later and found the boy waiting.
Said the traveller:
Sonny, l don't need you any long
err"
But yen made a guide, sir"
No; l can see the city without
help"
With this the traveller started to go
away, but the boy chung to his coat
tails. He stuck closer than a burdock
burr. The sightseer couldn't shake
him Off until he used actual violence.
His rebuff did not discourage the boy,
however, for he followed for two
hours until he arrived at Patrick's
bridge, Here, as the tourist stood
watching the myriad gulls in graceful
flight over the River Lee, he felt a
sharp tug at his coat, and, turning
around, saw the boy again.
well, my boy, what is it now"
''It's gettin' late" replied the boy,
''and wud ye pay me now so l can go
home}"
Pay you for whatl" asked the tour
list.
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