davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1890-11-11
A GENIUS.
He Offered to Save 25o,ooo Francs and
Failed, but Got a Free Dinner.

A needy Freedman once heard that a
marriage was on the tapis between the
daughter Of a certain wealthy merchant
and the son of a richer banker. The
dOwry that was to be given with the
bride was 0O,O0) francs. The merchant
was well known to be on the lookout for
a good bargain or to save a dollar, so on
this the Partisan founded his hopes Of a
good dinner at least
He accordingly called at the merchan s
residence and asked the privilege of see
ing him on very important business.
,tter a little while he was admitted to his
presence
"The matter, sir, on which I called"
he began, "invoives for you the practical
saving Of two hundred and fifty thousand
francs. p ooh, my dear sir" in
terrupted the merchant, this is too
serious to be discussed before dinner, and
as it is now my hour for dining, pray
take dinner with me, and we will after
ward consider your proposition at our
leisure"
Having partaken of a meal that left q
pleasant flavor in the unfo~rtunate's mem
DRY the rest of his life, they retired to the
mer hant's study.
"And now l am ready to hear your
proposal" he remarked.
The Partisan, after a moment thought,
began:
Il understand, sir, your daughter is to
be shortly married to the son of the
banker D'Argent?"
eyes, that is true"
"And that her dowry is half a million?"
This WAS also aCSoOtPd To
"Well, then, here is my idea: I am
ready to take her with half that sum and
thus you will save or gain exactly $780,
900 francs.
The merchant could not but smile at
the prot1er. though he did lot profit by
it.-Phuadelphta Times.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1890-11-11
SOME SAFE TORIE
Amusing Incidents Connected with the
Safe-Maker's Business.

A Boston shoemaker recently gave to
a Courier reporter a few amu~lng Incl
dents connected with the business Locks,
Of course, will sometimes get out Of or
der. and when a business man cannot
lock his safe, or, wOrse yet, cannot unlock
it, he loses no time in sending to head
quarters for help
Not long ago we received a hurried
message from one of our customers, whose
safe doOr ha sud Ienly refused to shut far
enough to allow the bolt> to be thrown.
A wOrkman fastened to the establish
ment, and glanclng about the entrance to
the safe n jtjced a cent resting on 4
of the bottom fanges, He picked it up,
and the doc .hut and locked without any
further trouble. TIE bill for the work
mans time was probably large enough to
prevent a repetition of the occurrence.
In another case of the anne sort a but
ton from a lady's dress was found by the
expert in one Of the lower bolt holes.
Some years ago we delivered a new set
of vaul doors for a bank about two hun
dred miles away. Just as the bank was
ready to 90 ilto its new quarters we had
a telegram to send a man at once. The
bolts of the outer door would not throw
far enough to lock it.
Our man started off forthwith, and
this is what he found: The bank officers
had fitted a board flooring into The vesti-
bule of the vault, but had omitted to bore
holes in it to allow for the throw Of the
bolts. An auger and ten minutes work
set everything right, but they made that
piece of board a rather expensive luxury.
Our morning mail brought a letter
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1890-11-11
THE LIME KILN CLUB

When the "janitor arrived at the hall
Saturday afternoon to make ready for
the meeting he found that the bear trap
guarding the second landing had been
sprung. Looking about HIM, he found a
shoe heel, a piece of steel watch chain, a
vest buckle and half a plug Of tobacco,
and he lad no trouble in arriving at the
COncluslDn that another attempt the
fOurteenth-had been made to destroy
Paradise Hall He raised 40 alarm how
ever, aid said 0 a word until Brother
Gardner arrived The result Of their
whispered conversation was that, after
the meeting had been opened in due form,
the President looked up and down the
the hall and queried:
"Air Brudder ClingStone Davis present
tonight 2
He am" answered a voice, and the
brother arose.
"You will step dis way. Now, Brud-
der Davis, hold up your heels"
"W- what fur, sah?'
"Ka e | want to see EN-"
CIingstone reluctantly exposed the soles
Of his broad shoes. One OF them had a
new heel.
"Brudder D&i8, what was you dom
when you losted dat ole heel ?" asked the
president.
Fell down, sab"
Didn't fall into de bar trap, did
your
IN no, sab"
"Wha was you dom on de stair
way?'
4 dun forgot my pipe, an cum back
to look for it."
eyes, l see. Brudder Davis, l has
got a word or two to say to you. l
know you to be lazy, shlftless an sort O.
wicked. | has had my eye On you fur a
hull var past. Oar am no doubt in my
mind dat you bad some Wi ked Objict in
view in try in to git into els hall. l can't
prove it, an 50 we can't bounce you out
O. de club. 1t am plain 'nuff, hOweber,
dat you Orter receive a solumn warnln' to
check You in your mad career"
lie mighty sorry, sab"
"Dat's no excuse. Brudder Giveadam
10 es, you will take dis pussOn out in de
ante-room an gin him a series Of electric
shocks to rouse his moral sentiments. De
shocks better be purity heavy, as his is a
hard case"
ClIng~tOn didn't retur to the hall after
the performances, which Giveadam Jones
said was a great success.
"Alr Brudder Hardf ish Smith heah
to night p asked the president after the
other case had be n disposed of.
The brother was at the back end of the
hall, a shoe off and working at a callous
ABOUT as big as a silver dollar. He got
into shape as oon as possible, his eyes
bullying out with excl ement, and when
he stood before the platform the presi
den said:
"Brud Ter Smith, l understand you is
foolln' around wild politics a good deal"
No, sah.'
Didn't you help run a ward caucus
las week2'
Il went around dar,' but l didn't run
muffin"
didn't l pass along by dat caucus an
hear you whoopin' fur somebody ?"
q jist hoIlered once"
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1890-11-11
TO H

Re are receiving every day many let
IS of inquiry about things relative to
me business Of this Office, which are
already answered in The P~ROGREssIvE
FARMER, Owing to the large coyrespon-
:euce and increasing business of this Of
re we are UNABLE to answer as promptly
L. we wish. We ask the brethren to
please read THE Progressive FARMER and
It will save them much writing and will
be a source of great benefit and pleasure
70 them, and relieve us Of a large amount
Of work. F~raternallv,
w. II. WORTH, s. B. A.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1890-11-11
HE SAW H DRIFT.
The Old Man Did Not Fall in With the
Plan Proposed by His Son William.

In one of the Southern counties Of Ar
kansaw lived a pair-old Bill Aikens and
his son Blll-whO were characters in their
way, They wee well known as sharp
dealers and to drive a hard bargain.
Young Bill was maj led and lived with
his wife at bis fathers house. Bill as
sisted about the farm, while Sally, his
wife, assisted his mother with the oner-
Gus duties that fall to the lot of a farmers
wife III the rough countries.
When strangers and uninitiated traders
were scarce the two Bills would trade
with ca b other, and it often happened, as
a result of disagreement concerning these
lnter-family transactions, that a hand-to
hand s;Utle between the father and his
dutiful "chip" would ensue. The results
were generally a draw, with the odds in
favor Ct the old man.
Young Bill had been unusually sober
and thoughtful for some time, and the
old man suspected that something was on
his mind, but he said nothing One day
they were behind the barn looking al the
field Of corn, when young Bill opened the
conversation
Pap you've done a heap of work in
your day.
YES, William, I've scratched er bit. >
"You've Just kept at it frum sun up till
after milkin', and by the sweat Ov yer
brow raked together this hull farm!'
That's so, William" replied the old
man as he shifted his quid of tobacco IN
easily from one cheek to the other,
that's So"
And, pap, it's gin me a deal of Uneasy
ness to see you, at your age, rasslin with
the cares of life. You oughter be Jest
settin' 'Iongside the fire. smOkin' your
pipe, or layin' out under the trees in the
shade"
"That'S so, William, | oughter.'
Bill was so engrossed with the beauties
of his own thoughts and plans that he did
not notice a dangerous light in the old
mans eyes, and that he spat on the palms
Of his hands and rubbed them together
nce or twice.
Now, pap, bein' as you are gettin' old
and feeble AID your light Just a aickerin'
you give me a deed Of the farm and you
and mann kinder jog along the rest of
your days with me and Sally"
"WlIam," said the old man as he
pushed back his sleeves and rubbed his
hands together, 81 think l see the drift
of them remarks, My lights er Aickerin',
is it? G;ttin' old and feeble, am /?
When y Ut old pap's ready for the poor
house, he'll talk to you, WiIlia,u!"
"Yes, pap"
"See that field of cornstalks p
eyes, pap"
"Wen, to show that your old pap's
light amt er dickerin' as much as you
reckon on, I N goin' to knock down half
an acre OF them stalks with your heels"
When the argument was concluded
Bill c,awled painfully from under the
barn aud whispered to himself:
Sally was to kinder bring man to the
point at the same time. I wonder if her
lights put ou1, or if she's only crippled
for life."-Edwin RaLPh Collins, IN E"as
S,ftnQq.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1890-11-11
8. g. D. ERw

from a man three hundred miles from
Boston. His safe could not be opened,
and he was in a distressing plight. Would
we send an expert at once?
Our man picked up his kit, took the
mex train, and arrived at the customers
office the next morning. Tn safe proved
to be an old-fashiOned one, with a large
key-lock
There" said the owner, there is the
safe. The lock has been working harder
and harder for weeks, and now | am
locked out. I must have some of the
documents Immediately. Never mind the
damage, but break INTO it in short order"
The expert tried the key, but it refused
to work. Then he took a small wire and
picked out half a thimbleful of dirt and
lint. He tried 1t again and a better work
ing lock wa neVe seen.
Glow much is your bill? p asked the
customer.
Forty dollars"
"Au rigat. That is perfectly Satisfac-
tory, on one condition Does any one in
the place know your business here!'
"No one"
Very good. Get out by the next
train and k ep mum. I'd rather pay a
hundred dol ars than have any of ny
friends know that that l sent to Boston
for a man to pick the dirt out of my key
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1890-11-11

The National Economist Almanac is the
cheapest AMI most valuable publication
for farmers and Alliance men that has
ever been presented to the public. 1t II
q perfect handbook and gives valuable
facts nowhere else to be found. For two
cash subscribers to The P~RoGREssIvI
FARMER, we will mail a copy Of the
almanac postpaid. You cant afford to dc
without it. It is worth ten times The
price.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1890-11-11
LET IT BOO"

We are prepared for it-good
clothes will sell, and we wound
up last night 8 K of the busiest
weeks we've ever had. 1t must
have been Our Qualities and
Prices, for the weather hasn't
been much for a "rusher."
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1890-11-11
NOTICE..

County and Sub-Business Agents will
please send their names and pOstofice
address. with certificate Of bond, at once
to the State BUsIr ess Agent,
W. b. WCPTH, Raleigh, n. @.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1890-11-11
TO AGENTS.

Any Alliance having seed wheat, oats,
cover, grass, &c, for sale, who will send
samples and prices, l will show them at
the Safe Fair and take orders for the
same. W. II. WORTH, S. B. A.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1890-11-11
20EtrH.
Cor The PROGRESSIVE FARAER.l
PLAN rATLON MELODY.

CHAs. B DAVIS.
oloy your fields and till your soil,
'y,RRd SOW the golden gram,
"a - rext harvest for your tot!
You'll reap a goodly gain.
CHORUS:
work while the sun shine, brother;
Work while it = yet Day,
ror the rainy season will bother,
snd seed time VII pass away.
ra-dav is the time to til your soil
and SOW the golden grain;
DELAY not TIL t'-morrow,.
y~nr waiting will be rain,
nrinncO. n. ..
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1890-11-11
4 AT IT Boou NJ.

Somebody has said: "Remember
you re a long time dead" What's the
matter with bearing in mind you've a
long time to live, and along winter just
ahead Of you. You'll want Suits, Over
coats, and separate Trousers to "wear
cut" the season.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1890-11-11

We've men
toned Overcoats both weights
fall and winter-a tnfe early for the latter, per
haps, but it's no harm in our knowing th3y are here, and still more
are coming. Last weeks demand jus lies more
to cOme-always on the alert
for new pre-.
auctions, and the trade apprec ates our eff >rts.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1890-11-11

@dyb buyers wills ee testimony on the Suits and Trousers Tell you the AuA@ variety and the able
bodied rne their selections are gm Hm
Prsa da Booming Bmnesw viii please anvmdyt -
5. g. D. B
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1890-11-11
For Tobacco Growers!

GREAT INDUCEMENTS OFFERED IN VIRGINIA,
NEAR PETERSBURG.
A Pressing Demand for Experienced Men
who know how to Cultivate Bright Tobacco
Land Very Cheap and on Easy Terms-If
Yu Cannot Purchase You Can Work on
SbsTaGI
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1890-11-11
RICE WAFFLES.

B 1t three eggs separately. Add to
the ya,,s q teacupful of boiled rice, a
i~Ir Of butter. Slit in one and a halt
nirts Of f. ur, add a pint Of sweet milk, q
#rr- salt, anc lastly whites Of eggs. Bake
~ vrfi- IRONS.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1890-11-11
CAKE.

Two eggs beaten light, one pint Of
nil; salt 10 taste, two teaspOonfuIs of
,~as,t-powder and -four enough for a bat
rsr Serve hot in round cakes with maple
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1890-11-11

Pare and quarter ripe ounces. Put
,,r1 in a kettle, cook until soft, add half
IND Of sugar to every pound of fruit
Ia boiI until thick.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1890-11-11

CHAMBER OF COMMERCE. }
Petersburg, Va, oct. &, 1890 I
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1890-11-11
MOLASSEs DROPS

one cuD Of molaSses, one half GU Of
0ur.-c o.e halt cup Of YARN water, three
sup, II -four, n teaspoonful of soda and
tw. ~,raspoonfuIs of ginger. Drop from
2 spoon into well buttered tins, aud bake
" 4 rlick oven.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-11-07
Russia's Newest Creed.

Never was such place as Russia for
eccentric and mysterious creeds. The
peasants in the Governmental Province
Of Tim have been disquieted for some
months past by the. appearance of a
new religious sect. Although no man
has yet seen with his own eyes an in
dividual member of this sect, ito extra
ordinary doings have filled many q vii
lage with panic. The "Shavers"-or
"Shearers," as they are properly called
carry on their mad work at night and
in secret. Thus the inhabitants of .
village discover early in the morning
that all their fowls have been plucked
of their feathers, all their sheep closely
shorn, and the horses have had the:t
names and tails cut off. The hair, wodl
and feathers thus gained are made into
sacriieial pile and burned in an open
place on the road. In village after
Village the cry has been raised, "The
Shavers have been here" The advent
of the "Shavers" was foretold, they say
by the appearance of "besom" Y
.comet) in the heaven. The peasantt
are persuaded that the aShavers" arr
inspired by an evil spirit, and THAI
their object in making these burnt
eacrifices is that the ashes, blown about
by the wind, may scatter the seeds Z
the plague through the country.-Pa|'
Mall Gazette.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-11-07
Faithful Little Tip.

Bessie was little German girl. Her
papa and her mamma had great
many friends in the United States, so
they thought they would cross the
ocean and live there. One morning
Bessie went with them to Bremen,
where lay the big steamer which was
to carry them all over the great sea to
America. She was so pleased with all
she saw that she quite forgot her little
dog Tip till just as the big ship began
to move she heard loud bark and
looked back to the wharf.
"Ol, mamma, mamma" she cried.
with O lump in her throat that seemed
ready to choke her. poor Tip! Poor
Tip! Look, mamma, look!"
There, among the crowd Of people
who had come to bid friends goodbye,
was the little terrier, running up and
down to find his mistress.
How could Bessie have forgotten
him? 1t was no use. The strip of
blue water between the wharf aud the
steamer grew wider, and the white
streak of foam behind the huge vessel
longer and longer.
Poor Bessie!
Tip. with his nose to the ground, was
following his young mistress footsteps.
Suddenly he reached the end of the
wharf. He hesitated moment, ran to
tand fro, then leaped into the waves and
ried to swim after the ship. But the
water was very cold, and after short
struggle the dog disappeared. Only a
few ripples, forming wider and wider
circles, showed whore he had sunk.
Poor. faithful little tip!
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-11-07

fresh air. Great cradles in which the
John Wosleys, and the John Knoxes, and
the John Masons lay, for from them
came forth an all conquering evangeliza.
ton. But the greatest cradle in which
child ever slept or woke, laughed or
cried, was the cradle over which Mary
bent, and to which the wise men brought
iranktncense, and upon which the
heavens dropped song. Had there been
no manger there had been no cross. Had
there been no Bethlehem there had been
no Golgotha. Had there been no incar-
nation there had been no ascension.
Had there been no start there had been
no close.
Standing in the chill khan Of a Saw
iours humiliation, and seeing what he
did for us, ask what have we done for
him? 'sThere is nothing I can do, -
says one. AS Christmas was approach
ing in the village church good woman
said to a group of girls in lowly and
straitened circumstances, ''Let us now
do something for Christi After the day
| was over she asked the group.to tell her
what they had done. One said, 81 could
not do much, for we are very poor, but
had beautiful flower had carefully
trained in our home and thought much
of it, and l put that flower on the
church altar" And another said, 81
could not do much, for we are very poor,
but can sing little, and so l went
down to poor sick woman in the lane
and sang as we'll as could, to cheer her
up, Christmas song" "Well, Helen,
what did you do:" She replied, 81 could
not do much, but wanted to do some.
thing for Christ. and l could think of
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-11-07
To See !. 1sitie Bullet ON Its wav.

By saturating bullets with vaseline
they may be- easily seen in their course
from the rifle to the target; their ira
jectory course is marked by beautiful
ring of smoke. caused by the vaseline
being ignited on leaving the muzzle of
the gun, the smoke being suspended
for some time in the air, if not too
windy. Much better scores result when
grease Of some kind is used. Bullets
are not so apt to split, the recoil is not
so great, and it is believed the course
of the missile is more true.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-11-07
Wonlan's wit.

Wife-For mercy sake. if you mui
smoke, smoke cigars. and not that MOI
rid pipe. Il
Husband--1 smoke a pipe for tAs
sake of economy.
aDo you smoke pipe in your Officer
"N-o, smoke cigars there.
"Well, you smoke your pipe thef,
and tell the firm it's for the sake Pf
economy They'll soon raise yotr
salary.."-Ne York Weekly.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-11-07
Another Boston Bred Girl.

"Some one has certainly insultsd
your daughter; heard her out the
back way just now crying out: 'Vacate
this inclosure without delay, or I'll
hurl this missive toward your crani-
umr".
"Oh that's only Hypatia soaring
chickens out of the garden. "-Ne,c
York Herald.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-11-07
A Help to Bushes IS.

TOPEKA, Kan, Sept. To, 1871.
Your letter in reference to the work
ing OF the prohibitory law received. We
answer: 1t does prohibit; it is q success.
/: does improve business. No one ever
left the State on account OF the law but
his absence was benefit to the State.
No one eve. stayed out OF the State on
account of the law but that it was .
benefit to the State. The law IL popular;
not All open saloon in Topeka. Men may
steal in some liquor and play sneak from
some back alley, but decent man would
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-11-07
From State Treasurer Sims.

hTATE OF KANSAS,
TREAsuRERs OFFICE.
TOPEKA Sept. lG, 1880.
Replying 10 yours of the 18th inst, re-
latng to the effect of Prohibition in this
State, will say it's enforcement has I'M
qnes,onably secured the educational,
moral, social and material advancement of
our people. The loss to our business in
terests, resulting from the removal Of
those heretofore engaged in the liquor
traffic. has been more than compensated
for by the increase of legitimate bust
ness, and the immigration hither of
those seeking homes where the open sa-
loon is unknown, and 10 depression in
value can, in my judgment. be traced,
directly or indirectly. to the enforcement
Of constitutional Prohibition.
VIM. SINS,
State Treas rcr of Kansas.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-11-07

The ideal citizen is the man who be-
lieves that all men are brothers and che
nation ls merely an extension of his
family, to be loved, respected and cared
for accordingly.--.Iolla. HuLbsrt0gt. IN
Caybca
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-11-07
Where Ignorance is Bliss.

Mr.. Bingo (suspiciously )--Tommt,
Who were those two boys I saw fighting
in the next alley this morning?
Tommy-One of them was Willie
Simpson.
MI Bingo-And who was the othel?
Tommy-He got licked. I guess yfu
don't want to know his name.-Nfo
York Sun.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-11-07

He (reading the signboard) -Lov4s'
Retreat" I wonder what they retret
for? She-To get away from the I'D
folks, probably. Chicago Inter- Ocefs.