The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1890-10-10

and Of her breath, l took my hat to g
away. Suddenly, just before reaching
the door, 1 passed by the large mirror il
the vestibule, which she had placed Their
in order to view herself from head t
foot every day as she went out, to see
her entire toilet was correct and pretty
from her boots to her hair.
And I stopped short in front of thi
mirror which had so often reflected her
So often, so often, that it must have pre-
served her image.
There l stood, erect, quiyering, will
eyes fixed on the glass, on the fiat
profound empty glass, which had con
tanned her entirely, possessed her as |, a
my passionate look had possessed her. !
seemed to me that | loved this glass.
touched it; it was cold. Oh, the mem
DRY! the memory! Mournful mirror
burning mirror, living mirror, horrible
mirror, which causes n to suffer al
the %torturesl Happy the man whose
heart, like a glass across which refee-
tons glide and disappear, forgets al
that it has contained, all that has passed
before it, all that has contemplated and
admired itself in its affection, in its love-
How | suffered!
| went out, and in spite of myself,
without knowing it, without wishing 1t,
| went toward the cemetery. | found
her very simple tombstone, a marble
cross with these few words upon it, "She
| loved, was loved and died"
She was there, beneath, decayingl
How horriblel 1 sobbed, my forehead
on the ground.
There | remained a long time, a very
long time. Then l perceived that the
| night was coming on. Then a strange,
mad desire, the desire of a desperate
lover, seized me. wished to pass the
night beside her, a last night, in weep
ing over her grave. But / should be
seen and driven away.
What wa | to do? l resorted to
strategy. Irose and began to wander
about in this city of the disappeared.
On and ON | went. How small this city
is beside the other, that ST the living.
And yet how much more numerous than
the living are these dead. For US, the
four generations who live in the sun
light at the same time, drinking the
water Of the springs and the wine Of the
vineyards and eating the bread Of the
fields, much room is needed, high houses,
wide streets.
And for all the generations of the
dead, for the entire scale Of humanity
down to us, almost nothing; a field, al
- .,1tl..1t ETl0 naTth 4al-1z 4hl19a
back again, oblivion effaees them. Fare
well!
AT the end of the inhabited cemetery
l suddenly perceived the abandoned
cemetery, that where the older dead are
completing their union with the soil,
where the crosses themselves are rum
bling, and where tomorrow the last
corners will be placed. 1t is full of free
roses, of vigorous and dark expresses, a
sad and superb garden, enriched with
human flesh.
/ was alone, entirely alone. l crouch
ed beneath a green tree. l hid myself
completely among its thick and somber
branches.
And I waited, clinging to the trunk
like a shipwrecked man to a spar.
When it was dark, very dark, l left
my refuge and began to walk softly,
with slow steps, owe this earth filed
with the dead.
WANDERED about long, long, long. /
could not find her grave again. With
arms o~utstretched and eyes wide open,
hitting against tombs with my hands,
with my feet, with my knees, with my
breast, with my head itself, l went on,
without finding her. l touched, l felt,
like a blind MAJ seeking his way; felt
of the stones, Of the crosses, Of the iron
ratings, Of the glass crowns, Of the
crowns of faded fowersl l read the
names with my fingers, moving them
over the letters. What a night. What
a night! l could not find her again.
No moonl What a night, l was afraid,
frightfully afraid in these narrow paths,
between two rows Of graves! Graves,
graves, graves. Always grayei Tonight.
to left, in front, around, everywhere.
graves! Isat down On oue II them, for
l could 10 longer walk, ~ wax w& !
In the kne@. I heard M hzrE be@
And l heard something eEe, also. 4th%
4 confused, indescyibabls s9z Vas
this sound in my bewlderei hal IN the
impenetrable night, II under te TayE
terious earth, under the earth gogn with
human corpses: Hooked around me.
How long did Istay there: lido not
know. was paralyzed with terror, I
was drunk with fear, ready to scream,
ready to die.
And suddenly it seemed to me that
the slab Of marble on which l was sit
ting moved. Certainly it moved, as if
some one had lifted it. With a bound l
threw myself upon the neighboring tomb
stone, and l saw, yes, l saw the slab
which Ihad just left rise IN its end and
the dead appeared, a naked skeleton,
who with his curved back lifted the
stone. l saw. l saw very plainly, al
though the night was dark. On the
cross / could read:
"Here rests Jacques Olivant, who died
at the age of 81. He loved his family,
was honest and good and died in the
peace Of the Lord"
Now the dead man also read tho words
written on his tombstone. Then he
picked up a stone in the path, a small,
sharp stone, and began to scratch out
these things carefully. He effaced them
thoroughly, slowly, looking with his
empty eyes at the place where just now
" Il