Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1890-07-08
bach CLUB GOSSIP.

Il see Colonel one Of your profession
got into trouble Fourth Of July morning
remarked Lon NJ our last meeting. "Hos's
that" eueried our past tense military
friend as he settled down into An easy chair
and picking up = fan wielded the large
palm leaf vigorously.
We'll you nee the boys up On the muster
field couldn't bear to think of having the
Fourth of July steal a march on EN- so
they succeeded in playing quite + number
Of pranks during the night. Among other
ammunition they had smuggied into camp
were lot Of cannon crackers. One Of
these misehievous fellow put uadsr
their Colorers tent and touched
i, of. A loud explosion followed
and number of sparks were blown up into
the tent Tae next morning when the Col
onel rolled out of his buak ard prepared
10 don bis handsome military trousers he
fculd the keelson of said parade panta-
looms burned completely through. They
DO say that's why the gallant Colonel didn't
accompany his troops to Portland"
He didn't make the success out of his
misfortune that one of the soldier boys did
last Wednesday said the Doctor who had
been listening. "He had taken a good deai
of pride in rifle practice and though he had
never competed 9. the State range intended
TO DO so this year. In the forenoon before
be vas TO shoe. while playing ball amcng
the tents be was hit ia the left eye by the
ball the result being that this optic was
etfeetually closed. When the hour for
shooting arrived our young friend WAS on
the ground aud fairly outdid himself. He
attributed his luck TO having that left eye
closed so tightly as to require no squirting
"lie was ready for an emergency Dec
tor" piped in Lemuel from farther cor
ner, but saw a good elderly matron the
other morning that appeared ready for any
and all. She had passed the border line OF
half century and yet looked quite hearty,
inore's the wonder thought after hearing
of her condition. Where saw her was in
drug store. Feeling bit thirsty | had
taken a seat hoping that in time the pro
prietor would suggest soda. Meanwhile
the woman IN question came in and could
see the proprietor's eyes glistap with an
iicipation of fifty per cent profit on
porous plaster or some similar article of
traffic. 'Wut | come in fer wus ter know
if you'd any samples of paten. medicine
you wanted tried she said. approaching
the COULTER.
For what disease did you wish it,
madam?
Don't make any difference. Don't want
ter buy any but thought eff you'd got any
samples I'd like ter try EN-
The druggist said he hadn't any and the
woman looking mad went away"
ale ought to have juggled bottle Of
Evpr rra Iiptpc int kidpap arI
infused few Alternative, laxative, soporific
ingredients and passed them out TO her,"
growled the Commodore. Now Com
you wouldn't have said that only because
she was on the shady side of fifty" said
Sandy, aware, rs most of us are. that the
gruff old sea dog has weakness for pretty
girls.
1T might have cured her of the wors,
disease in medical nomene Ia lure, the habit
of taking pstent medicine commented the
Parson closing with the following good story
for the telling of which SIS a gentleman of
cloth lie has no superior.
Speaking Of cures re minds me of a recipe
friend once gave me in the following little
anecdote
Il was sitting writing a. my desk one day
when RIGA African voice close beside my
chair sccosted me.
Looking up | saw a tall, slim negro girl.
wearing most din pdsted costume of
many colors and pieces. Her face was
oinched and sshy. her eyes kind of
muddy hazel, the peculiar combination
giving her an nnususi appearance.
''Got any ole clos yer wanter trade @
she inquired abruptly.
mo, think not answered, qiancin2
a. the baskets of berries which hung on
her arms.
Better I'll. somer desc here berries
dsy's mighty nice. I'll take mos anything
for EN- Gimme some ole medicine eff you
20, any. Some Nv us is purity nigh always
sick
| shl9dered to think of the consequences
that ght result from my venture in Il
second hand lrug establishment, but began
to 0n;emplate my stock OF old
clothes. IS she seemed so deter mined
10 trade " L. was an evil hour. indeed,
tia. led me TO begin series os 'tradln gsr
that grew with the weeks and strengthened
with ;he months Until years even had passed
over my benigh.ed head Scarcely fort
eight passed after first made her acquaint-
snce that did not have visit from my
ubiq Iitons berry woman. She brought
berries aud fruit in their season, and nuts
and chickens 10 their season; In fact, she
claimed all seasons for her own.
When had begun to despair of ever
Kidding myself of my "oid man of the sea-"
when | saw iorg vista of years stretching
ont before me in shica must be trading
ard giving in trade, happily We moved to
distant street.
erjoved respite Of two months in my
nc~ home unrnolested by the trading Jose
phine.
A. last, one day in early fall, she reap
pesred upon the scene with renewed rigor,
br ng ng basket of nuts and oGe chicken
was compelled % sacrifice plate of
''vietuals" and an Old hat on the altar of
hospitality and the above mentioned arti-
eles.
Daring ny search for the hat jose 2hiae
spied. hanging in MY closet. very pretty
red Jersey. which few stitches might rem
der very useful. aud Immediately began to
devise ways and means 10 possess herself
Of it.
| at frs. told her didn't want to dispose
Of il. but, suddenly, with the inspiration of
a proviieB,ial interference, conceived a
plan of deEvsrance. With sigh for my
-r al NtttAtths Jctrclr bdt bflgnt nope
for the future, took the jacket down and
gave it to her. saying:
Here. Josephine, you may take il. aud
next week bring me txo chickens for it,
"fessam," she responded. eagerly. I'll
fetch you dem chickens er Chaseday. sho.
You kia pen upon eittin' EN-. l ain tole
ser nc La VII, an ain goin to tell yer
none now"
She departed. to leave me In pesce, for
have