The Bennington banner. [volume] (Bennington, Vt.) 1858-1894, 1890-01-30
THE REMEDY FOR A MAN WHO SAW
WOODS FULL OF COONs.

Doctor" said a red faced and watery
eyed man from Wayne township, as he
came in DR.. Babcock's office, in Ham
mondsport, the other day, "Im afraid
my eyes is goin' back on e,and drop
ped in to kind O. see if l can find out
where they're lame"
''Ah said the doctor. what seems
to be the matter with your eyes I"
"That's what don't know" replied
the man, "but they played me trick
t'other day that don't leave no room for
doubt but what there's somethin' out O.
gear with 'em. somehow. Ill give you
the symptoms. Maybe you don't know
that I'm quite a coon hunter, but ] am.
T'other day my boy bought one O. these
britch loadin' and repeatin' shotguDs,
and l told him I'd go out and see how
it'd work on a coon. went ont, and
hadn't gone more than mile up the
hill before l seen big coon pop on to
the limb of a chestnut tree. He came
there so sudden that l couldn't get it
through me where he had come from or
how he got there. But didn't stop to
ask no questions, but up and blazed
away. Now I've got the name over our
way, Doc, of never missin' anything |
shoot at, and of course when l pulled
up and whanged away at that coon ex-
pected to see HIM tumble, but he didn't.
When the smoke cleared away he sol
there iest as he was when / seen him
first. / was surprised, now, tell you.
| thought il was the guns fault, but
blazed away again. The coon never
moved. l happened to look, somehow
or other, at a tree off to the right OF the
one the coon was in, and there sot an
other coon on limb. thought I'd try
nv luck on him, and so let him have
shot. He never stirred.
Il begun to get mad by this time, and
durin' little conversation l was havin
with myself about the gun happened
to glance at tree TO the left OF the firsi
tree, and there on limb was another
coon. tried my luck on the third coon
and didn't hit him no more than did
t'other two. looked at the first tree
there was that coon, situn' right where
he was when first seen him. / looked
at the second tree, and there was that
coon, still on the limb. l turned my
head toward another tree, and there
seen fourth coon, and lookin' around
me whichever way / might, every tree
seen had a coon in it, and all as fat as
coons could be. got wild.
"'Thunder = followed; here's the
woods full o. coon, and hain't got moth
IN but this new tangled gun that won't
hit barn.
"But begun to blaze away as fast as
the gun could spit cartridge, fust at
one coon and then at another, until
every darned load was emptied out o
that gun, and hadn't dropped coon.
was jist agoin' to slat that gun to fln-
ders against tree, when l happened to
rub my eye, and when | took my hand
down, there on my finger was nice,
Jolly, fat wood louise. looked up, but
every coon was gone. The fact O. the
matter is, Doc that wood louise had been
banging on to one of my eye-wiDkere
all the time, and l thought was seem
coons. Be gettin' near.sighted, or is
the optic nerve doublin' up on me y
"Neither one, said the doctor. Have
the hind pocket in your hunting pants
cut down from quart size to half-piut,
and you'll be all right"
The man went out shaking his head
and said he'd think about it.-Ham-
nlOndsport Correspondent NelU York
SIM