St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-01-05


feSSlonal sports are crooks the world
over, and III 80 cases out of 100 the men
who back them are the same. The man
VINO Will bet upon the result of con-
test of any sort between professionals
deserves to lose his money. He is a
sucker, and should he be jobbed out of
his cash he has no kick coming.
1t is unfortunate for Senator Clough
that his name rhymes so readily with
several words in the English language.
1t gives o. G. +. Day and T. S. Varnum
such a beautiful chance.
Lac Stafford-F0r the guidance of the
public, some one should issue special
brand OF cigarettes for McGinty.
Il
An evening paper says: 'The minis
tiers will not visit First street." DR. Bur-
rell says the intention to visit First
street never existed except in the
Imagination of an evening paper re-
porter.
The Times quotes an exchange as
complimenting the Times for its indie
pendence. Yes, the Times stands all
by itselt-out of the world entirely.
-
The city has assumed the debt on the
armory building to relieve certain pri-
vate individuals. Holders of the said to
be forged Blaisdell notes will please
come forward and be assisted too.
Il
The attempt being made to prove that
former city clerks took fees illegally
will not free Haney from blame. Wrong
cannot be righted by precedent.
Capt. Paul BoytOn wants log roller.
Genie can certainly handle political
timbers all right.
Sergeant Kirkham has had another
raiding fit and this time he tackled one
of the cIty's public officials The story
is that one dark evening during the past
week Kirkham Shouldered his patent
spring ladder, tucked his dark lantern
into his capaciOus pocket and started
out in search of big game.
He bent his sleuth-like steps
toward block near the corner
of Third street and First avenue south.
Mounting one flight of stairs, the zeal
Gus watchdog OF the city's virtue set his
folding ladder before a certain door
which bears the inscription rs. S. Kill
vington, City Health Officer" Mount
ing TO his perch, Kirkham sprung the
glim." But before he had seen much
of the interior of the room
through the transom the eagle eye
of the crematOrY builder had
espied the blue coat. There was hur-
ried reaching for the doctors repeating
shotgun, a quick collapse of a ladder,
and mad rush into the still night air.
They do say that Kirkham ran faster
than the new electric cars.
i
Stories of excited passengers ringing
up fares while trying TO signal for the
stopping of street car are plentiful,
but one of the funniest occurred on
Sixth avenue car, south bound. last
night The persons who took leading
parts in the little drama were deaf
conductor and a lady who wanted to get
off at Second avenue south and a whole
car full of passengers. AS the icon"
began to collect fares the lady told
not hear her. A gentleman shouted,
''Hold up! Stop!" No stop came. An
other man pulled the bell cord and the
bell on the rear platform sounded. A
man who stood there smoking thought
to do friendly turn and rang up fair.
The man who first pulled the rope
| shifted and rang up another fair. An
other excited individual rang up three
| fares. By this time the whole car was
| in an uproar. One man attracted the
conductors attention by punching
uim III Ilo ueCh. nc HOuueu his
| head in assent, glanced toward the
register and saw two more fares rung
up. The car then stopped. and the lady
who wanted to get off at Second avenue
alighted at Fourth. AS she left the car
! the conductor was still gazing in horror
at the register, his hands in the air, his
mouth open, and his eyes rubbing the
frost from the window they projected SO
far, while the car full of passengers was
conyulsed with laughter.
il
DR.. Hoyt is in Minneapolis, and he
seems to be man of few words If
other preachers would follow his exam
pie and do more work and less talking
! the ruSults would be more satisfactory
to the public.
Tong hit Capt. Whelan will again be
whalin' intemperance out of Minneapo-
lis, or wheelin' the drunkards into line.
(The force of this attempt at pun de-
ponds upon the way you pronounce the
| captains name.)
New Years day, as day when hos
pitality reignS supreme, is thing of the
past. The reception of friends on Jan.
l was this year strictly tabooed by the
leaders of the Minneapolis 400. There
was no keeping of open house; no
friendly grasp of the hand from old
friends; no pleasant meetings around
the punch bowl; no hearty
wishes of Happy New Year, from the
friends of ones bosom. Society said 1T
was not good form, and society's word
! is law. 1t may be movement for the
better, but there is many an old gentle
man who will not see it in that light.
| He has all his life been accustomed to
call upon his old friends and nelghbors,
and start the new year pleasantly with
a hearty exchange of courteSieS. 1t is
hard blow to him, but he cannot go
against society. Should he start out to
make the rounds, he would find
instead of cordial hand-grasp at the
door, a cold. lifeless, expressionless
| cardboard, aud sorrowfully go about
his business. Verify, the day when
good fellowship is not in order has ar
rived.
In fgurative way, Mrs. Hannah J.
| Moffitt has put on the gloves with Mrs.
L. B. Walker. Another sanguinary
contest without bloodshed is with US.
il
1t is given out with certainty that
Halvor STEVENSON and Eugene Hay did
| noG Split SIlall DoItle yesterday.
i
II. P. Hall, who stole hog from the
city market was evidently believer in
that old maxim. dear to tbs heart of the
| politician, "Whole hog or none.n
Verify the millennium is near. Sen
ator Washburn left the city without the
evening papers announcing the number
of the check on his trunk.
| i
DR.. MacLaurin breaches this morning