Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1890-05-08
TWO FUNERALS.

Interstate Commerce Bill Defyre Rail
wav the other day, and lollng back in
the rich purple velvet upholstery Of its
costly carriage, we caughta glimpse of
a country funeral. 1t was going slowly
across wind swept prairie. with the
cold bleak sky and frosted fire weeds
skirting the horizon. The clergyman
sat on the seat with the undertaken and
his nose was extremely red as he faced
the blast. The undertaken wept stead
lily and honestly as the north wind
played about his purple bugle. The
mourners rode in cherries lumber.
wagon, and little frozen, iatherless chill.
dren, with green bed.quilts over their
shivering knees, helped to heighted the
gloom.
How different from the cheering So
ciable, business.like air of funeral on
Broadway. SAW one not long ago on
that street and made a minute Of it,
while attending my regular blockade
below Fulton street, in fact, | made
sixty minutes Of it before | got through
This is the order of the procession :
l. Hearse containing deceased and
driven by IL handsomely dressed coach.
man, who swears in a gentle manner at
the truck-drivers who try to delay the
procession by coming in at Fulton street.
Hearse occasionly gets its wheels into
the sire et- car track and cannot get out,
though emitting low, cultural sound.
2. Broadway car No. 00S, driven by
coarse man with horn whistle half
way down his throat, he is preyented
from swallowing 1t by stout string
connecting the whistle to his buttonhole.
lie is heard ever and anon whistling at
the hearse driver as who should say,
Come, wake up, wake up; don't delay
business
3. Carriage load of mourner. in close
conveyance.
4. Load of green hides and pelts
driven by profane, self made man, wear
ing retired policeman s helmet and an
injured air, which latter is also shared
by his cargo,
5. Load of iron rails hauled by four
large horses and driven by deaf and
dumb gentleman who is not in any way
related to deceased
6. Clam bake load of excursionists
going over to Staten Island for paint
ing purposes, accompanied by embryo
Jags.
7. Close carriage containing other
relatives Of deceased and driven by a
new man who is not familiar with New
York city, having formally driven a
tbrashing machine near Owatoma,
MINI. He knows that If he loses sight
of the hearse he will wander further
and further away from the grave. In
mean time procession of oyster.open-
ers, headed by a German band, cuts in
ahead of him, from a side street, and
the pole of an ice wagon knocks hole
in the back of his carriage.
8. Ice wagon ownel bv Hudson
River Microbe Ice Company. and driv-
en- by man who has done time at
MARBLE Warble-on- the H d on for
beating down clothing man on the
price of an overcoat by means of a
baseball bat.
8. Heavy truck, hauling consignment
of llmberger cheese for down. town
house, driven BY noseless ma, who
was bitten by warm personal friend
during the war.
10. Procession of excursionists known
rs the Mock Turtle Club, headed by
drum corps and followed by CHRISTOPHER
street car No. 202 driven by a man
with improving mustache and dog call
whistle.
IL. Other mourners in open carriage
smoking election cigars.
IL Salvation Army passing through
New York on its way to convert
Newark. .
Is. Ambulance on Its way to pick up
some mangled people who tried to es-
cape from a fre.proof building by
means of fire. escape.
IA. Parade by Knights of Pythlas
with drawn swords.
Is. City officials with drawn salaries.
10. Milk wagon carrying pure coun-
try milk and cream accompanied by an
occasional mutiled croak.
II. Other mourners in dog carts
reading evening papers.
Is. Load Of baled hay driven BY a
scholarly looking colored man in high
nat and red flannel shirt.
10. Another and competing funeral