Idaho County free press. [volume] (Grangeville, Idaho Territory) 1886-current, 1890-04-11
Humorous ScintIlIations.

1t is not enough to be ready to GO
where duty calls. A man should
stay around where he can hear the
call.
An editorial in a Boston paper
asks: "Must the typewriter go?"
From its tone we should Judge it was
written by the editors wife.
Seamless trousers are all the rage
among Philadelphia dudes, but it is
hard to see how any trousers could
make dude seamless than he real
ly is.
A New York school-boy was asked
the other day by his teacher why
ships are always referred to as "she."
Because" he replied, ''they always
need a man to manage them"
Clara(to bride)-"How many times
did Harry kiss you when you accept
ed him?" Bride-"Ask me something
easy? Could Napoleon count all the
bullets fired at Austerlitz?"
She-"Youa are such asolitary man,
Mr.. Silbyl I should think you would
get lonesome" Hs-"Oh, no; en-
Joy being by myself" She Thought
fully)-"I don't see how you can.
Man enters newspaper Office. Ed
tor looks up in. alarm. "My dear
SIR" says the visitor, 81 have a
bench warrant for your arrest" Ed
itor-'"Thank God it is no worse. l
thought you had a poem"
Father-"Jennie, my dear, how is
it you always ride home? tits bad
habit to get into" Jennie-"Why'
father, see in the Fashion Review
that the riding habit is quite the
thing this seasonP'
Hospital physician with view to
diagnosis)-What do you drink?
New Patient cheering up at the pro-
posaD-Oh, sir!-thank you, SIR
whatever you'll leave that to you
sirl-London Punch.
"How is it, Peck, :" said New York
man to George R. Peck the other day
in a Topeka hotel, chat all these
fellows are generals and you only a
captain?" because l was in the
war" replied Mr.. Peck.
"Say, you chump, wy don't we put
dat Il am Blind sign on the front OF
yoz, instead of your back?" Con-
scientious Biggs-'"Cos de front side
O. me amt blind. l don't want to
git run in for no false pretenses;'
Mabel-Fsther, l really do not half
like that Miss Shearewell She's an
well, an awful clip. Father (solemn-
ly)-My dear, do not blame the poor
girl. She came honestly by her ma
ture. Her father is the scissors editor
of the Sunday Scrapbag.
Old Lady Ito small boy, who is en-
deavoring to attach tin can to dogs
tail)-"You naughty little boy!
What would your mother say if she
saw you acting SO cruelly?" Small
Boy-"She wouldn't say anything;
she's dumb" "But if yonr father
could see you, he" "Would give
all he's worth; he's blind"
Traveler-"Oh, kind sir, take all,
take all, but leave me this, my peck
Bible, parting gift from my mother
when was a boyl" The Highway
man (as he gathers up very poor
haul)-"Keep yer prayer book an
BECOME" The Traveller ten minutes
later)-"Well, that was a pretty close
shave. If that chump had known
that Bible covered $4,000 in bank
notes, he wouldn't have been so quick
to let me keep it."-Town Talk.
Freak (striking for q higher sala
} ry)-"You pay me only ST week
and l think l ought to have 500
Manager of Dime Museum-"You'rt
not such curiosity as you look ant
you know it. Your actual height is
only six feet six inches" Freak
, "But you make me tell every
body Pm eight feet high" Manager
(righteously indignant)-"You con
scienceless scoundrell You want m,
. to pay you $3 week for lying, DE-
you?"-Chicago Tribune.