The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-05-04
BRIGHT BIT.
WHAT is May to the oyster?
What is June to the rose ?
What is life to every
Blessed thing that grows ?

DlCoS6u JullE Judt grows.
"NR GOULD how is your canal stock to-day?"
Il have no canal stock, sir"
Il beg pardon; my mistake. For the mo-
ment imagined the large amount of water IN
your railways had converted them into canals.
Life.
The ANNOUNCEMENT that there are not appli-
cants enough to fill the positions of census
enumerators III Massachusetts is calculated TO
occasion some establishment. 1t isn't likely that
there will be drought, however, now that the
fact is known.-Boston Herald.
AN UP-Towx. MAN VINO moved to another house
says he unearthed things that he had forgotten
he owned. He hal no idea he had 50 much
property. His only drawback is that e founI
so much stuff that he doesn't want that he is
debating whether TO have an auction or a fire.
Kingston Freeman.
A PROMINENT UPTOWN CLUB narrowly missed
an exciting episode the OF ler evening. DUN
leigh rushed up-to Sharplegh and exclaimed
threateningy. 'Ihear you have been saying
looked bigger fool than | ann Quite the
contrary, my dear fellow, / assure you =" The
Modified Dumieigh retreaJed-tT as htnOton
Post.
Practical TRAvELER-What a splendid land
scape you have up here; these great noble
mountains, these peaceful lakes in the valleys.
Mountain Maid-O, just let me have your
glass for a second.
Practical Traveler-So you would like to ad-
mire the beautiful prospect nearer?
Mountain Maid--I only wanted to look down
as far as our pasture to be sure our COWS were
feeding all acknowledgements Blatter.
MODERN RIcHEIzUs = American Business
Man-Now, sir, you have all the details of my
new manufacturing scheme. If we succeed
Wen make millions.
Timid Capitalist-But if we should fails
American Business Man-Fail? In the bright
lexicon of American enterprise there's no such
word as fail-because whenever a thing don't
pay we can always unload it on an English syn
dicate.-Nelu York Weekly.
-o,,oo, ~ 49, ,.o;-LL..
hood of Meridian Heights the teacher last
Sunday asked who was the first man.
Adam" replied the small boy.
And who was the first woman?" she asked a
The child hesitated for a minute, then her
face frightened.
Madam she sung out, and the teacher
hadn't the heart to correct her, Wdshinqton
Star.
A MERE LITERARY PLEASANTLY. Miss Minerva
Beacon-Hill (who INDUCES only in jokes that
have a literary favor)-Do you know, Mr. Spoo-
pendyke, think that the car must be fond of
Mr.. Howell'S novels?
Mr.. Spoopendyke who never has read line
OF Howells, but hasn't courage enough to con-
fess itl-You really think so, Miss Beacon Hill?
Why?
Miss Minerva Beacon Hill with a CHASTITY sug-
gestion of a Sulile)--Because he hates plots
Life.
A SUBSCRIBER to the telephone exchange
asked to be placed in communication with his
medical man
Subsequently, wife complains of a severe
pain in her neck and occasional nausea.
Doctor-She must have malaria.
Observation-Disclosures best to be done?
At this moment the clerk at the central
station alters the switch by mistake, and the
unlucl1y husband receives the reply of a me-
chanical engineer in answer to inquiries of a
mill-owner
Engineer believe the inside is lined with
excavations to a considerable thickness. Let
her cool during the night, and in the morning.
before firing up take hammer and pound her
vigorously. Then get garden hose with strong
pressure from the main and let 1t play freely
on the part affected.
To his great surprise, the doctor never saw his
client again.-Electric AGE.