Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1890-12-18

where, and said to Aunt Martha: Il
think it would be we'll not to repeat this
story. Ozro has mistaken some other
person for the deacon. l am sure
there isn't word of truth in it."
But Aunt Martha was determined to
sift the matter to the bottom, and an
nounced her intention to put the facts
into the hands of Deacon Ransome, and
to have the "hypercrite" exposed with
out delay. Intent on this, she resumed
her sunbonnet, and FASTENED duwn the
street to the village store, kept by
Deacon Ransome.
The deacon, pompous little man,
and Aunt Martha were soon in deep
conversation. There had always been
a settled conviction in the deacon's
mind, at least, that the legal profession
would have gained a shining light, had
he chosen it, rather than the mercantile
one, at the beginning of his career. It
was with inward satisfaction, though
with much outward unwillingness, that
he consented to conduct the investiga-
ton that evening. Perhaps certain
rumor that Deacon Perkins had accused
him of little irregularities" added
slightly to that satisfaction, but it was
noted that he was more than usually ur-
bane the remainder of the day.
1t was also remarked that evening,
how Aunt Martha seated herself d.
rectly behind Deacon Ransome, though
her usual place was on the opposite
side of the church. The kindly old
minister opened the services and after
hymn, sung to the good old tune of
Federal Street. requested Deacon Per-
kins to lead in prayer. Now was the
time for action; Aunt Martha leaned
forward, and nudged Deacon Ransome,
who rose to his feet, saying:
Brethren and sisters, 1 hev pain
full dooty to perform this evenin'. and it
goes agin my feelin's to hev it to do,
but dooty, my brethren. dooty a-a-must
be did. hev charges to bring against
Brother Perkins, which will make ev'ry
individool hair to stand on end. He
| wuz seen in the very act of llissin', yis,
and huggin', think of it, brethren, a
girl, who wuz not his wife. Brother
Perkins, it becometh you not to lead in
| prayer, with this ere charge hangin'
over your head"
A murmur of surprise swept through
the church, Deacon Perkins rose indig-
nantly to his feet and was about to
some, who waved his hanl impatiently,
and continued:
''The witness for the persecution will
now come forward"
Ozro Meachim, sitting in one of the
back pews. stood, but declined to come
forward. Turning slowly around the
deacon faced him, and proceeded to
question him as follows:
'Young man, did you, or did you not,
see the defendant in the aforesaid act?"
"Thet's So, deacon, can't deny it,
''Did you, or did you not, declare
that, to the best OF your ability, it wuz
not his wife; furthermore, that you
didn't know who t'wuz?"
"Wal, said as how it wasn't his
ife, and then said didn't know the
girls name.''
Them two dispositions are identical,
young man." said the deacon sternly.
Cant say hitch with yer thar,
deacon, l don't know the gals name
cause she amt named yit. The deacon
was huggin' an kissin' his gak b0by."
The silence for a moment was painful.
Deacon Ransome dropped into his seat
like a stone. A litter, that soon be-
came shout, woke the echoes in the
old meeting-house, in the midst of
which Aunt Martha swooned and Ozro
quietly slipped out at the door. 1t is
needless to say 'meetin"was not re-
sumed that evening.
The good minister took occasion, soon
after, to demonstrate with Ozro, on his
fondness for joking.
wal. you see.' the young man re-
piled, Aunt Martha was JUS dyin' for
some news, and outer charity like, give
her some. Jerusha! how it stirred 'em
ups. Elizabeth Browne, in brakes
Magazine.
Peculiar Family Names.
There is family in Charlestown in
which are four boys; the first was
named Leon G. Carter, the second was
being given to the name previouslv
given; later the coincidence was notice
that the name of the first son contained
exactly the letters of the second, and
that, also by accident the termination
Of the middle name was ton" Two
additional sons were born, and here are
the names of the four:
Leon C. Carter.
Elmo G. Carter.
Noel G. Carter.
Enol c. Carter.
The middle mama in zach inatanee
terminating in .'ton." We doubt if any
other family can match this combina-
tion. Louisville American.
HIS Failing.
why don't you join our athletic
club? The initiation fee Is only hum
dred and the monthly dues only ten dol
lars. "
II am afraid that could never be an
athlete
why --shortness Of BREATHE
"Ah, no; merely shortness Of funds !"