Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1890-01-04

| better late than never. Simpsons house he
had never visited before and he remarked that
| 1t was a very big one.
Il hope i'm not too late for dinner" he said,
anKiousiy, when the portal was thrown vide.
! The woman servant in caps and bright nib
bons evidently did not undertand the question
She merely showed him into q very large par
| Tor with book cases stretching the length OF
the room on the blank side opposite the win
/ dows, and took his bard. The visitor looked
about him and observed to himself that Simp-
| son must be making a great deal OF money IN
| the undertaking line to afford 80 spacious res
| idence. Presently there entered milo.
| looking young man with feeble mostache and
whskers, who introduced himself very grace
| fuily and began most afsbly to converse.
TWO FELLOW .'euEsrs" ENCOUNTERED.
| "fou are TO be guest here, presume" he
said. interrogatively.
Yes, responded the abseut-minded contrib
be too late"
"YOu need not have been alarmed" rejoined
the young man. 1--WE are not SO full as you
| might suppose"
| Il think fail to catch your drift precisely;
but perhaps may venture to say that. So far
as you yourself are Observation-Disclosures
| ing the festive occasion--you do not exhibit
any visible symptoms Of having taken too
much"
The mild-looking youth paid no attention TO
this remark and did not appear to hear it,
| I'VE are not very full now" he went on,
"but we shall doubtless be so later on. How
ever, you must permit me TO take this oppor-
| tunlfy OF introducing you to the young lady
who is now entering this parlor. FAIR prin-
cess, let me present to you friend OF mine,
the king of the Cannibal islsnds.'"
| The lady bowed gravely in recognition OF
the introduction and the absent-minded con-
| tributor responded. though not at all compre-
hending the pleasantly.
| You have come to rescue me, presume"
she said, from the ogre who keeps this horri-
BILE CASTLE"
.oh-ah-that is to say, Of course, madam.
| Indeed, why not?'
IT'S we'll But you cannot overcome the
giant in open combat"
No; think Simpson could whop me, if
that what YOU mean"
Therefore we must have recourse to strata
gem. Be beneath my window at O'Clock this
evening with rope ladder and We will hy
together"
Il will fly with her myself" said the mild
looking young man, apoiogeticaliy; but, I'M
fortunately, am only put together with glue.
and should be likely to come apart directly
this warm weather."
PRIVATE LUNArIc ASYLUM.
At this moment both he and the young wo-
man suddenly jumped up from their seats and
ran out Of the room just there entered by
| another door a benevolent-looking gentleman
with bald head and white whiskers.
What can do for you. sir?' he asked
Tell me where Mr.. Simpson is" answered
the visitor perplexed
Mr.. Simpson lives next door" said the
| bald headed man. His old number and our
new one being the same, good many mistakes
have been made. This is a private retreat for
| the insane"
While showing the visitor out the superin-
tendent-for such he was-explained that the
| institution was not quite full at present; the
mild-looking youth, he added, was under the
| impression that the establishment was a hotel.
The young man himself they passed through
| the hall, looked out from the door of what was
evidently the dining room, with large blot of
mustard on the end Of his nose.
lis this Mr.. Richard W. simpsons house?'
asked the absent-minded contributor a minute
| later next door.
He was informed that il was; also that dinner
was nearly over and that he might find the
| family In the dining room if he liked. invita-
ton being sent down to that effect. The well
come he met with hearty and a few re-
marks that he ventured about being unayoid-
ably late and so on were hushed up at once.
Glad to see him, they said they were, at any
| time. The turkey was brought back and liber-
ally recarved for his benefit. Even soup. a
tribe cool, was proffered. Cheered by repeated
bumpers Of generous wine he gazed with glow
| ing approval upon the ill-disguised courtship
! that was going on between the eldest daughter
and red-haired young man with a snubby
nose. He was even intensely amused when the
sIudil DOy nOWleQ because ne cOulun I nave
| third help Of pudding and was carried off to be
spanked in camera. After Mrs. Simpson left
| the table. partly for the purpose of performing
| this interesting operation, he and Mr.. Simpson
fingered over the decanters, smoking and talk
| ing merrily.
''GErTrNa THERE" AT LAST.
'It was awfully good Of you, old man, to in
vite me here to dine today when you knew my
family was out of town." he said at last.
nh
vite you; though, OF course, the unexpected
ness Of your coming made it all the more de-
lightful."
You didn't invite me-"
Most certainly not, though I should have
been charmed-"
"well, who did invite me then?"
Il don't know. I'm sure"
Goodness me! I've got the problem boiled
down now, at all events. 1t must have been
either Kelly, or Peters Williams. / can't
afford to offend any one of them; SO must tod
die off right away-they all live in the immedi-
ate neighborhood, fortunately-and offer my
excuses"
The absent-minded contributor went to the
Peterses' first and found, to his disgust that his
invitation had not been there. But he consoled
himself by imbibing a couple of glasses OF neat
brandy with Mr.. Peters, strictly on the ground
that the first day of new decade comes only
ouce In ten years, and should be duly cele-
brated- To Mr.. Kelly, upon finding that gen.
hciuau ~ Will ne
that he had been having Josh OF fun during the
past few hours, and wished them all q hap
New Year, over some choice and strongly forti-
fed port Mr.. Kelly, however, was not the
giver of the dinner invitation. That long
sought parsonage WAS discovered at last in MIR.
Williams, for whose benefit the absent-minded
contributor tried to recount his adventures,
but fell fast asleep in the middle of them, and
was carried up stairs to bed by the butler. He
was late, but he got there just the same.
THE POWER OF THE HUMAN EYE,
1t Fails, However, When Focused on
the Bald Spot on a Snoozer's Head
From the Chicago Mail
Did you ever try the power Of magnetism as
expressed through the eye?" asked friend OF
mine at the theater recently. .Its interesting.
I've been developing the faculty Of late, and
have great fun out Of it. Last week as sat
over there on the side of the parquet circle
saw several rows Of chairs ahead Of me a young
lady of my acquaintance. She was sitting so