The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1890-12-26
MISCELLANEOUS.

"A Coatesville. Pa, farmer raised .
pumpkin that is so big he can not get it
into his cellar.
Chatterton-"Don't you think 1t is
shame the way Impecune gets every
body to trust him?" Gohard-''To the
contrary, / think it's greatly TO his
creditr-Clothier and Furnisher.
"A Connecticut boy is famous just
now because he has a tin whistle one
and half inches in diameter and sew
eral inches long in his stomach. He
swallowed the toy while playing on it.
-Depositor - "Is the cashier IMP.
President-"N-o; he has gone away"
Depositor-'Ak; Cone for rest, pre-
sumo" Pre~.-leat sadly - mo; to
avoid arrest. IN. v. Weekly.
There are few such common-sense
proverbs as ''every man is the architect
of his own fortune" Appius Cladius, a
Roman censor, used it in a speech de-
livered by him $50 years before the
Christian era.
~ want to get insured" "What
kind, please-tire, old age, life?' No;
you see am hotel-keeper, and | want
to be insured :,;ainst people who go off.
leaving their bills unpaid?"-Fliegend
Batter.
Wigger-"Did you know that ScrIm-
per has gone on a vacation? He said he
needed change badly" Haggard-'I
hope he will get all he wants of it, and
not apply to me for any more. "-Boston
Herald. sgSR
Mrs. X. lat fancy ball)-"What
magnificent costume Mrs. u has on! 1
wonder what it represents?" Mr.. X
(who knows the u familyl-''It repre-
sents housework, which you hire some
body else to do."-N. Y. Weekly.
"A Chance for Promotion. Office
Manage Johnny, if you don't get a
move on you I'll kick you through the
skylight" Office Boy-"Kick away.
This is the first chance to rise I've seen
since came here. "-Jeweler's Weekly.
The introduction of the custom of
blessing water before the principal
mass on Sunday and sprinkling the peo-
pie with it is commonly attributed to
Pope St Leo ". (S47855); but there
are learned writer's who trace it to far
more remote antiquity, and regard the
words of that pontiff as referring to an
existing custom.
Railroad statistics show that no one
car on train is safer than another.
Sometimes the last car is the only one
to drop through bridge, and again the
first coach climbs on top of the baggage
car. Pay your fare, have faith, and
take your chances. OF the forty-two
men hung last year none were ever hurt
in railroad accident. - Detroit Free
Press.
See here, l thought you said this
horse you sold me last week was fear
less of locomotives!' well, isn't hep
mo. When l was out riding yesterday
afternoon he began to cut up when he
saw locomotive approaching and tried
to dash right into it." 'Well, if horse
was afraid OF locomotive he wouldn't
want to run into it, would he? He'd try
to run away from it." - Norristown
Herald.
-Green City Folks.-Mrs. Hayseed-
Eyes, | had some city boarders durin'
TIL summer. but didn't iuterdooce em
around u n cause l saw they wasn't
fust-class folks what goes out of the
city every summer" Neighbor-"Oh,
They showed they'd never been in the
country before, did they?" Mrs Hay
seed-"Yes, indeed. Why, the very
fust meal they ask for cream."-N. Y.
Weekly.
A London periodical says: We are
within measurable distance of the timo
when the United States, hitherto the
haven OF the landless, will cease to Of
fer what has been the great attraction
to the newcomers. Only 30,0OO,000 of
population are needed. Mr.. Giffen cal
culates to settle, from the agriculturist
point Of view, the whole of the United
States; and at the present rate all the
country practically worth occupying
will be under cultivation in twenty-five
years.
Ruff Lester comes to the front with
the smartest dog named-one that can
count. 1t has been the custom with the
cook for the family to make old Wade
Chats the dogs name) catch the chick
ens-three in number-each day for the
table. The other day it was decided
tudU WV uoulA no ouihSAOhS
for that day, and when the dog had
caught that number the cook took them
in. When she reached the kitchen
Wade was not far behind her with an
other fowl in his mouth, making the
number that he had been accustomed to
catch each day. And so it is that Ruff
claims that his dog can count-Ogle-
thorne 0Ga Echo
The camera is becoming, as no doubt
the photograph will soon become.
recognized accessory of any historic
scene. The browning incident Of the
Moltke celebration was a presentation
to him by the emperor, standing amidst
galaxy of fellow-sovereigns, generals
and statesmen. The emperor concluded
by asking the count to accept new
marshal's baton of silver magniicently
inlaid with stars and crowns of rubies
and diamonds. Count Molkte could,
only find few brief and incoherent
words of reply, but he took the emper-
ors hand and imprinted on it long and
fervent kiss. A photographer in at
tendance seized the moment and the
negative will be developed by Professor
Won Werner's brush into a grand historic
picture.
Another of tho idols of the past has