davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-05-02
Some Funny Mistakes.

Every n knows the story of the
Frenchman who, while sitting with his
face close to the open window OF an En-
glish railway car, heard a shout of
"Look out!' and, popping out his head
accordingly, received a tremendous
bump on the forehead from the pro-
jecting pole Of a scaffolding which the
train vas just passing; w%hereupon mon
sieur exclaimed Indignantly: "Inglis-
man big fool! He say Look out!' when
he mean Look in!
A similar m~isconception occurred dur
ing the siege of Sebastopol, says a
writer in Harper's Magazine, when an
English %guardsman was drought up"
for having given a severe thrashing to
a French grenadier, the Englishman's
only explanation being that "he would
ave it, and so I just 'ad to give it him"
1t appeared on inquiry that the guards
MAJ had accosted the other in what he
supposed to be French, and that the
puzzled Frenchman had exclaimed in
bewilderment: COMMENT" (How p
which John Bull mistook for Come
on" Come on yourself, then" he
roared, "if you will ave it'll" and forth
with the fsticuff began in earnest.
But more startling than all was the
mistake made by a Queen of Denmark
during her visit to the Danish colony of
Iceland, where the good old bishop e X
erted himself to the utmost to show her
everything that was worth seeing. The
Queen paid many compliments to he,
host, and, having learned that he was q
family man, graciously inquired how
many children he had.
Now, it happened that the Danish
word for children" was almost indenti.
cal in sound with the Iceland word 10,
"sheep;" SO the worthy bishop-whose
knowledge Of Danish was not so com.
plete as it might have been-under.
stood her majesty to ask how many
sheep he owned, and promptly answered
1.-Two hundred"
"Two hundred chi'dren!" cried the
Queen, astounded. How can you DOS
sibly maintain such u number?"
Easily enough, please your majesty,
replied the hyperborean prelate, with
cheerful smile. In the summer I tur1
them out upon the hills to Craze, auc
when winter comes l kill and ca
them"
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-05-02
A Scared Indian.
"You see, It happened Lilo

"You see, it happened like ib;,.
an old-timer. 1T was in '6s. '' :; sal
friend Bill Hamilton, of st;iMly dl|
sometimes called Wildcat Bill 'wate
United States Deputy Marsha Vas !,
Sheriff of Choteau County. Tbal sa|
been some illegal whisky sellinees asi|
on around the Blackfoot conntgs eoAs|
finally Bill got after the guilty add
"a young Indian named Two RWSf51e
got mixed up in the affair and R R1I'e
rested him as a witness and b nul al
him to Helena. Howey was M yIuagA|
here at the time, and l was a D]asISha
when Bill arrived in town With bb'S;
Indian he called on Howey and Na ~
help take care of him. Well, on le
night of the day that Bill and hi" ~
oner arrived there was some sort pts|
show going on in an old hall y, VI
Bridge street. We all wanted tap q
but we didn't know what to do viii, NJ
Indian. Finally Bill said, .Wa ~ v
take him along with u.s. which W y
agreed to do. Y
Neither Bill nor the Indian hal
seen a show before. Well, we wan. e'e1
to the hall and got seats in the s,l1,S Y
the Indian being seated between ''1 n
and me. / forgot what the p]av ~.
but it was one ofthe old-fashioped l Ss /
where the whole company was KIN,
off before the show was over. NS
ave got interested in the pertos.
ance, and forgot all about the Ind;as
He kept quiet until the killing hsaa.|
When the actors began firing n; stSl
and showing knives the Indian ~s y
nervous, and finally, when the he'll
on the stage began falling thick ~
fast, he could stand the show NJ lora !.
Suddenly he made a jump from n
seat, and before Bill and l could 81
him that Indian had jumped al
through o window near by and ont ]
to q sort of platform. He got down
the ground, stole a horse somevhs|
and rode twenty-five miles barebs]
down to the valley. There he stols
saddle and went home again to n
friends and tribe. /
BILL never caught him, but vel esl
afterward that the Indian said the n
son he left was because he was afraid
being killed. He said the white taIl
in Helena were killing each other on|
platform in one end of the room, M
the rest of the people were sitd5
around laughing at the business. I'D
e41a (Mon.) Independent.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-05-02
Speaking of Salesladics.

wish to emphasize the misuse d
term ladies" in connection with v
Of any kind. The term "lady
supposes leisure. In the same way
word gentleman" carries a like y
canoe. Now you know very Wei
the term gentleman Of bushes ;.
never used, and you certainly \
hear of "salesgentleman." ISL
very sound ridiculous? And yess
man Of business often is the poi',]
well-bred main of society, with a I
ton which no one can dispute.
A few years sinceI was pass'p q
summer at q well-known seaside .s]
and in a sudden emergency ! WI
some laundry work done. lsn5
the bell-boy of the hotel, and ash's
to see if the laundress could az
me at once. He soon Returned
this reply: ,,tI
Il am sorry, Mrs. White DJi p,
washer-lady is out. "-C1evelo""
Dealer.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-05-02

WILLIAM BANJAM1N ROWLAND, a
cartman, recently died of phthisis at a
London hospital, and when the doc
tors made a post norton they found a
steel knife blade run into his skull for
an inch and broken off there. 1t had
been there so long that the bone had
healed over the spot where it had en-
tered. The blade had passed between
the convolutions of the brain, which
was uninjured. The nearest incident
that could account for the presence of
the blade in the mans brain had oc-
Cured nine months before, when he
was thrown from a wagon and had his
head severely hurt.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-05-02

The Poughkeepsie, N. Y, girls have
formed a sort of organization and have
pledged themselves that not n of
them will ever marry a man who is not
intelligent. honest, Industrious, good
natured, clearly in person and apparel,
healthy, sober, a church member, and
abstainer from liquor, tobacco and pro-
family. We are afraid that these
~Poughkeepsie maidens are certain to
live and die old maids. Such men as
they are looking io1 are to be found
only in-, we'll, ina climate far differ
ent from hat of the Empire State.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-05-02
poison, and then pulled the string, and
was buried beneath tons Of dirt.

A YEAR ago last January the United
States Fish Commission sent to Judge
James G. Swan. of Portland, Ore, 200
Holsters from Woods Holl, Massachu-
sets Bay, to be planted in Puget
Sound. These were carefully planted
by Judge Swan at three points-Scow
Bav. Point Hudson and Point Wilson.
There were also planted GAG, 900 live
lobster eggs. OF late many of these
Holsters have been seer on their feed
ing grounds, and there is every reason
to believe that they are thriving and
doing we'll.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-05-02

ONE of the most remarkable suicides
recorded in the annals of self-destruc-
ton occurred ear Chiquet, N. B., re-
Gently. Before committing the rash
act, the self-murderer, w. r. L. Jones,
dug his grave and placed a rough COT
fin of his own make at the bottom.
The dirt from the grave was kept from
rolling back into the excavation by
boards held in place by a trigger, to
which a string was attached. Every
thing in readiness, the deliberate MI.
Jones, as subsequent developments re-
vealed, got in the coffin, took a dose Of
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-05-02

PRINCE HATzFELDT is heavily in
debt, and Mr.. Huntington, the prin-
cess father, has offered to do his share
toward satisfying the creditors, if
Hatzfeldt's mother, who is enormously
wealthy, will meet him half way. She
refuses, and she is right. What did
her son, a scion Of the Furstenburgs,
marry the daughter of a vulgar Ameri-
can millionaire for, anyway?
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-05-02

IT is reported that sixty persons in
France are excited over a report that a
a relative of theirs died in the United
States twenty years ago leaving them
heirs to $40, 600, 000. It may be true
that such a fortune was left to them,
but if they knew the power of absorb
ton of American lawyers they would
be placid in the assurance that at this
late date there is not enough left for a
passage across the briny deep.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-05-02

A MAN who wants to be Register and
Recorder Of Warren County, Pennsyl-
yania, announces himself thus: "a
true patriot should be willing to serve
his country at all times. 1, having
served three years when war was in
the land and patriots needed, now de-
sire to serve three years when peace
and goodwill prevail"
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-05-02

A DENTIST at Rockville, Me-, has
successfully replanted four teeth in a
boys mouth. The boy was taken to
the dentist about eight hours after an
accident, when the hemorrhage had
ceased. The latter replaced the tract
ured labial portion of the process,
syringed the sockets with a solution of
phenal sodique and replaced the teeth
in their natural position. He then
braided them all together with heavy
linen thread. Three weeks after he
removed the support and found the
teeth as firmly implanted as if they
had never been knocked out.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-05-02

BISHOP POTTER, speaking Of the
rush of our modern life, says: "Well
nigh everybody in a great city is driv-
ing an engine. He is running himself
on a schedule, and the demand upon
him all the while is to crowd Just a
little more work, or sport, OF excite
ment into the day than his nervous
machinery will stand"
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-05-02

aAT Huntington, w. Va, a young
man who had escorted a young lady to
the theater fell a sad victim to the per-
nicious habit Of going out between the
acts. About the second time he went
out to see a man his fair companion
arose, invited a friend to accompany
her home and gracefully retired.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-05-02

A CLERGYMAN of New Bedford, who
has been preaching a long time, adver-
tises 700 sermons for sale. They v
every subject, and will suit any local
ity. He wants 81 apiece for the lot if
taken in a lump.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-05-02

A FATHER and mother in an English
town recently brought an infant to the
rector of the church to be baptized
with the name of "Meekan Lowley."
And another couple, who had evident
ly been reading some article on archi-
lecture, wanted to have their son and
heir called "Gargoyle."
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-05-02

To AN interviewer who visited him
recently, Mr.. Gladstone made the as
tonishing statement that if the first
line of any page in Homer was given to
him as a cue he could repeat the en-
tire page, word for word, in the
original Greek.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-05-02

LOVE is blind, and when the old
bachelor boarder in the room over the
parlor is kept awake till midnight by
the intermittent grumble of a deep bass
voice in the room below, he cannot help
wishing that it was deaf and dumb as
we'll.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-05-02

A FEMALE of the African persuasion
has lately died in Kentucky, at the
age of 1876 years, probably from the ex-
cessive use of tobscco. She commenced
it about 100 years ago, and never in
Permitted until death snatched her
away with the pipe still lighted.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-05-02

The table upon which Oliver Crom-
we'll signed the death warrant of
Charles I. was sold recently to a Lon
don antiquary for $40.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-05-02

An old widow named Catharine
Reed, who lived with her son at Sea-
combe, near Liverpool, passed Christ
mas Eve in a public house drinking,
and, leaving at a late hour to go home,
did not reach there. The next day her
son identified as hers a body that was
washed up on the shore near the town.
The Coroner's jury rendered a verdict
that the old woman had fallen into the
water while on her way home intoxica-
ted, and her son collected without
trouble a policy he had upon her life.
A week o II two ago he received a letter
from a woman in the Liverpool work
house, claiming to be his mother and
asking him to deny the "rumor" that
she was dead. He thought it was from
an impostor, and paid no attention to
it. A few days later the old woman
herself walked in and insisted that he
should account to her for that insur-
ance money. The identity of the WON
ans double who was found drowned is
as vet unknown.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-05-02

EMPEROR WILLIAM has not prohib-
tied dueling in the German army, but
no duel is in future to take place until
there has been a thorough inquiry into
all the circumstances by two colonies,
who L to allow an encounter only If
the provocation was a public assault.
to which an apology has been refused,
OF when an insult has been offered to
q lady who is a relation of the betrothed
Of the challenger. Under no circum-
stances, however, is a duel to be per-
mitted when the quarrel has arisen out
of q brawl in club room, coffee-house,
of any similar place where one of the
parties has already been 'out" three
times OF where m of the parties is a
married man with children.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-05-02

IT is estimated that from $50, 900 to
800, 600 worth of nitrate of silver and
gold is used every year by the photog-
raphers of the United States in max
ing the millions of photographs. If
this waste could be saved it would
bring down the cost of the pictures i'm
mensely.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-05-02

ScorcHMEN b%anqueting in London
are now entertained with music of real
Northern bagpipes, played into a
photograph and sent down to London
Inv ayprasS.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-05-02

TOBACCO smoke quickly contaminates
delicate fruit of all kinds. A few
whiffs blown upon a box of raspberries
will entirely destroy the delicate flavor
of the fruit and render it unpalatable.
The same may in a degree be said of
strawberries.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-05-02

HE proprietor of one of tho uptown
dry goods shops in New York has 'r "
etrlcted his clerks to the use If tha ono
title Madam" in addressing W we enc ne
toners, whether young 'r ola GU r.
works we'll va II
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-05-02
A Flendish Plot.

Police-What are you waiting around
here for?
Sad Young Man-1'm waiting to see
a fellow get thrown down the steps.
It's the fellow who beat me out of nv
girl. He has lust gone in there to see
her father about getting his consent. I
knew he was coming, and have sent four
peddlers and a book agent in there
within the last half hour.-Teyre Haute
Express.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-05-02

A MAN who does not continual. !,
his highest actions to bis hlSn .bs,
ings is q man in whom NV Nv:
not enough sameness OF P PUN
render him capable OF exef'D'
lasting influence on the world.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-05-02

The number of floods in China last
year was remarkable. Scarcely a
province escaped, and the distress was
widespread.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-05-02

Mr.. RICHARDSON, of the np 81
House, says he can s Fave
signatures in Baltimore to aa
member of the Legislature hSpe'
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-05-02

AN idle man had nothing else to do
the other day than to lounge in the
p~ostoffice and see how fair woman mails
a letter. The results were very salts
factory to himself. Out of thirty ,young
women who went to cast their epistles
in the slot, twenty-five, by exact cal
%culation, withdrew the letter before
quite letting go of it to scar both sides
Of the note to be very" sure the letter
was securely sealed, properly adj
dressed, stamped, and to be certain no
one could look through the envelope to
read it's contents. Out Of these twenty
two three had forgotten to put stamps
on their letters, and two had to add
something to the address on the en-
velope, while another carried off with
her the letter she had intended to mail.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-05-02

HE lions share of a thing is naturally
the main part Baltimore american.
The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1890-06-13

Though he was citizen of the world.
and naturalized American. his inter-
est in his native land never ceased, in
deed his affection for il increased rs he
advanced in years. Yet he never Tfs-
tied Sweden after his departure from
home in 1926. says ScgItner's a1gaEfHe.
He did propose in the latter part
OF his life TO rettTn thither, and de-
clared that he would rather lie under
a mound of gravel in Sweden when he
was dead than beneath the falleSt mon-
ument that could be erected on Aneri-
can soil. He became interested how
ever, in his study of solar heat aud the
development OF bis sun motor, and was
not willing TO transfer himself 10 =
region so little adapted 10 such studies
as the high latitudes of Sweden He
needed. As he explained. TO be near the
vertical rays OF the sun. New York
York il certainly not vertical under
the sun. but the RAYS i'm midsummer i'm
cline only seventeen degrees. and pro-
duce heat scarcely two degree less
than in the tropics. thus sufficient for
my purpose.
When Ericsson obtained n position
securing TO him an income much in ex-
cess OF his modest needs. which WAS
not until after he had reached his
sixtieth year he was constantly max
ing gifts 10 Sweden aud 10 Swedes-
These appear to have attracted little
or no attention in this country. but
they have added feeling of affection
TO the pride with which his country
men remember him. An ancient miner
sent word. through one of Ericsson $
correspondents. that he had known
John in his youth; Immediately draft
was sent TO purchase a handsome
watch for the old gossip. and n one of
his neighbors, 1.-THE man with the
leathern apron" was subsequently
found to have some vague recoiiections
in the same line. be received 150
crowns to ..buy him coat :"
When famine pinehed the Norrland-
ers in 1867. and coIlectections for their
relief were taken mp in various coun-
+ tries, the total contributions from the
i United States amounted TO 20.Si6
Swedish crowns. OF this sum Ericsson
gave 20, 216 crowns, and u subscription
! of 100 crowns from the Swedish minis
ter completed the total.
The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1890-06-13
LEBANON. OREGON. FRIDAY JUNE. Ii, 1890
al uEBEARp,s CASTLE.
n L. stnl 90 Be scen, aud the Monster
Actually Existed.

On bright morning In May, 1887,
| left Anglers for Nantes. the nettup-
oils of Brittany. writes Louis Freehette
In the dfes,d. As | was about 10 take
the train, friend. who had come To
see me or said with a parting hand
shake.
"By-the-by, before you get to
Ancenis there is station called Champ
toce. As the ears pull up look To the
right and YOU will see the ruins of an
old chateau. Take them Ia well-they
are the remains of Blueheard's castle.
''Buebeard's castleg What Blue
beard do You meanFA
Surely there i only one -Perre-
beard"
'.Did he ever liver
Certainly. IN flesh and bone, as YOU
and /. with this difference that he
was n hard case TO begin with. and a
marshal OF France into the bargain"
s'Really what was his uamep"
.tGilles de Retx. n descendant of one
of the oldest families la Europe. His
career was most extraordinary.
The name WAS not unknown 10 me.
had read of IL In the chronicles in
which is handed down to us the maryel-
ous story of the maid of Orleans, But
what could be the connection between
Ii and the bloedthirslx hero of Per-
reauit's celebrated talep
This question suggested itself 10 my
mind as the train bore me al full speed
over the waving hills that border the
Loire. aud from one thought 90 am
other found myself uuconsciously re-
hearsing the different scenes. phases
and catasfruphes of the childish drama
which grandmothers take such delight
in presenting TO their little gaping and
shuddering audiences.
| could see the youthful bride. led on
by curiosity. creep tremhlinglv, eluteh-
ing the little gold key, TO the fatal
door, open It noiselessly. utter a cry oi
horror, and drop fainting mt the sight
of the bodies hung IN n row.
Then the sudden return of the angry
husband 10 his castle. his fury on see-
ing the little gold key soiled with blood.
his brandishing Of the deadly sword.
with the iufuriated cries of Prepare to
die. madam!
could hear the pitiful tones of the
poor victim. during the short respite
granted her. as she called TO her sister
perehed mp on the tower: Ann, sister
Ann. seest thou NO one comepn And
Ibt tttItHAAdAH lttffAf W. Il NNt
nothing but the shining sun on the
dusty roadi'
And at last came the sigh Of relief oi
yore, as | fancied | could hear from
afar off the sounding approach of the
Ealloping rescuers.
The vision haunted me till we reached
Chammptoce, where. sure enough.
saw on the right. as my friend directed
about quarter Of a mile of, the Jag
ged form OF lofty medieval towel
which rose about "A heap OF ruins and .
clump OF stunted oaks, casting against
the heavens its vast and somber outline
This was GILES de Retz's castle. Blue
Boards home. Or rather Ii was one o
his castles, for he had many. the Who'll,
surrounding country which bears hi
name pays de Retz) having once beel
his
The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1890-06-13
Iancoln,s Get,rshurr speeoh.

II has sometimes been said that this
1.-THE Gettysburg] speech was not ap-
IvTeciated at the time of its delivery: we
therefore add the testimony of another
high authority TO that of Emerson. On
the day after the dedication Edward
Everett wrote to the President: Per.
NIT me 10 express my great
admiration of the thoughts expressed by
you with such eloquent simplicity and
appropriateness at the conservation of
the cemetery. | should be glad If / could
ilatter myself that l came as near to the
central idea of the occas on. in two
hours. as YOU did in two minutes" Mr..
Lincoln replied: Your kind note
of to-day Is received. In our re-
spective parts yesterday. you could
not have been excused to make a
short address. nor ! long one. / am
pleased to know that in your judgment
the little did say was not entirely n
failure. OF course | knew that Mr..
Everett would not fail; and yet while
the whole discourse was eminently sat
isfactory. and will be of great value.
there were passages in it which trans
cended my expectations. The point
made against the theory of the General
Government being only an agency.
whose principals are the States. was
new TO me. and. as | think. is one of
the best arguments for the national
supremacy. The tribute to our noble
women for their angel ministering to
the suffering soldiers surpasses in its
way, as do the subjects uf it, whatever
has gone before ~ CenturJ