Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1890-07-08
TIE ARIZONA KICKER.
Many Things to Encourage a westerr
Editor,


Editor.
We extract the following from the last
issue of The Arizona Kicker:
THANKS, GENTLEMEN On Monday even
ing committee of prominent gentlemen
waited on us and rendered us the nomination
for lieutenant governor of this state. accom-
panied by such words of praise and esteem
as brought tears to our eyes. While we had
to decline the nomination, owing to the pres
sure of our private business, the spirit which
actuated those gentlemen will make better
man Of us. There is everything to encour-
age western editor to git up aud hump
himself like a jack rabbit carrying sail be-
fore pack of coyotes, and we wouldn't ex-
change our present position with any body.
THE JUDGE HAS GoNE.-More than three
months ago The Kicker very kindly but firm
ly Informed Judge Grdley that this wasn't
the climate he was seeking after. and once or
twice since we have courteously inquired why
he didn't get a movement ON him. Last Sat
urday night committee waited on the
Judge 1t had ripe along, and the rope
was used TO elevate the tardy traveller off his
feet several times When let down for good
he had u gargle for sore throat put up at the
nearest drug store apd then walked. Ii was
hint not to be disregarded, and he will now
honor some other town with his presence.
He was not subscriber to The Kicker
Cross EYED SHOOTING. -Iast week we ad.
vised that Pluto Joe, who runs the little dog
gerry just beyond the postoflice, be given two
days time in which to pack his traps and va
cate the place. We thought two days very
liberal time, but Joe differed with US, and en-
couraged by that old sot, Steve Springer, he
laid for US in front of the Palace hotel as we
went to dinner The first thing we knew
Joe's bullets were flying all around US, and he
standing only six feet away He blazed his
six shots, wounding two of our citizens, as re
ported elsewhere, and then we took him by
the neck and broke him in two over a hitch
ing post We were entirely unarmei, but we
knew Joe was cross eyed and couldn't shoot
for shucks. The doctor says he will be in bed
for several weeks. and perhaps be a cripple
for life
As for Steve Springer, we are looking for
him, and as soon as we can lay hands ON his
carcass we will make him wish he had been
born a skunk
THAT'S AccoRDING.-A subscriber in Mas
sachusetts writes 10 inquire if this climate is
good for asthma. That's according. We
have known men to come here and get their
breath within week, and others to lose it
inside Of three DAYS. A great deal depends on
the patient. II he comes here with has mind
made up 10 play our game. drink our whisky
and mix in with our society, his asthma will
soon leave him. II he comes in the opposite
spirit, some one of our townsnen VIII very
likely feel it his solemn duty to give the
weary sufferer rest.
NOT A BIT-A friend of ours over at Tomb
stone inquiries if the St Paul. Omaha and
Denver papers do not cut into our circula-
ton Weanswer not in the slightest. Some of
them are taken here for their African mission
AIRY news, and others for their market quota.
tions ON coyote and rabbit pelts, but they are
not considered as rivals in our field The
Kicker not only enjoys a field peculiarly its
own, but is backed by grocery, feed store,
hardware, butcher shop, harness shop, shoe
store and job printing Office, all under one
roof and one grand management only
institution of its kind in North America.
ANNE G.n-This correspondent wants us
10 give her the author Of the poem beginning:
have loved thee many years Mary.
And shall love thee till die.
It was written by William Tell, a Swiss
gentleman whose principal business was
shooting tyrants but who had a moment 10
spare now and then for the muse We can
20 further and tell YOU something else YOU
do not know-wiliam is dead; YES, been
dead quite little time and all requests for
autographs will be time thrown away. Mr.
Tell was law abiding citizen, always clos
ing his saloon on holidays and Sundays, and
as far as we know he died happy and made
all arrangements to pay off his debts in hard
cash-Detr0it Free Press