davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1890-09-12
AN EXCELLENT SCHEME.
How an OHIO Father Got Rid OF Sever
Maria geabie Daughters.

Nos, nm o,,o ra,h.r 90, RIA NJ seven
i Marriageab.e Daughters.
An Ohio man. the father OF seven
marriaceable daughters some of whom
were I'm danger OF getting somewhat too
far along TO DO marrIageable-has been
practicing recently with n little o.dina-
ry everyday human nature, such a,
NAV be found In the make. ID OF all OF
us. This Ohio man had put up patient
iy with all the young men of the country
around for wears lhey camo TO sec tho
girls every night sometimes three or
four night, and on Sunday nights
there was always as much as one man
for each OF the seven girls. They Just
had their steady company, as they say
in Ohio.
All this was very pleasant to the girls
and boys, but It was expensive for tho
old gentleman, and 1t ultimately be-
came very tircsome. As none OF tho
boys showed disposition to take any
OF the girls of his hands by marrying
them, he ordered them of. lie felt that
things were altogether too convenient
and that the girls were rated too cheap
ly. Some of tho young mon showed
their utter worthlossness by ygivlng heed
to those orders and treating them in
good faith. Others continued their
visits, but did their best " avoid the
old gentleman, and always enjoyed
themselves tho moro when they knew
he wasn't around.
lilo was not 10 DO deceived, however,
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1890-09-12
MAMMALS LITTLE cHERus.
A New and Highly Edlfying Version OF
Fun In the Photograph GaIlerY.


A New and Highly Edlfylng Version OF
Fun In the Photograph Gallery.
Fond Mamma ito her first-born, two
years old)-Won't mammals little cherub
tell her Unite WIN about having her
title picture taken to-day?
Mammals Cherub (energetically)--
Goo-er-er pict-er-goo-bool
Fond Mamma-Doesn't she tell 1t
straight-the dear little girlie2 She's
her own mammals birdie
Uncle Will-Was she goodp
Fond Mamma-She was just as good
as gold. Wasn't 'oo, angel, dear? Tell
Unite Will how dood you were.
The -Goo-goo-er-bool
Fond Mamma-Can't she talk distinct
ly? Why, can understand her as we'll
as / can you.
Uncle will-You were always a smart
girl, Annie.
Fond Mamma-Now you are making
fun of mel know you are; and baby
was just as good as she could be, so she
was.
Uncle VILLAS good as she could be!
That isn't saying much. Did she cry.
Fond Mamma-0h, well, she cried
just a little; but then she was so cuta
After had her all fixed up and she
looked as sweet as a peach the man told
her to look at the hole--in NE camera,
you lsnow--and watch for tb. little bird
to como ou-.
Uncle wiii--well, she sat ftill and
looked, did she?
Fond Mamma-Oh, no; she jast tod
died over to the instrument to see II
there really was bird there. Wasn't
1t cunning? Baby, tell 'oor Unite Will
about tho little birdie bird.
The Baby--No birdiel Boo-hoo.
Fond Mamma (delfghted) That's Just
the way she did at the photographer'sl
Wasn't 1t cunning. 49,.
Uncle Will-Very. Then.what? x
Fond Mamma-Oh; then l comforted
her, and gave her some candy, and got
her fixed up again, and she. sat just as
still until the man had every thing
ready to pull the slide-or push 1t,
whichever 1t is-and then she cried for
more candy, and we had to begin all
over again. Wasn't 1t cunning? Baby.
tell Unite WIN about it
y-Goo-er-er-tandyl
Fond Mamma--Isn't that sweet?
Uncle Will-Well, did you get the
picture taken after all.
Fond Mamma-Of coursel But we may
have togo again. The operator thought
1t was good negative, but we can tell
better after he sends us proof. ex-
pect proof will come tomorrow, and l
know it'll be just too sweet for any
thing.
Uncle Will-Was it taken by the in
stantaneous process?
Fond Mamma-oh, no; IL took us over
three hours; but baby was just. as good
as she could be.-Wm. II. Sivitef, In
Iudpa
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1890-09-12

What imaginative creatures children
are, to be sure. There is one little
Washington boy who explained to his
mother while she was undressing him
the other night most extraordinary
metaphysical theory Of his own inven.
tion. 1t was that there was nothing
in the world that had any real exist.
ence outside Of his own immediate per.
sonality. Wherever he went, and tc
however great a distance, there were
always substantial surroundings, but
his nstion vas that perhaps when he
left any particular locality those sur
foundings went out of being at once,
having served the sole purpose OF their
creation by providing him with neces-
sary environment According to this
idea OF his, when he journeyed through
the city in n car, blocl: after block of
buildings and street after street sprang
up instantaneously for his benefit, as
quickly vanishing when he had passed
out OF view. Washington Star.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1890-09-12
A PANToMIME AUDIENCE.
Amy Catastrophe Occurring to the Police
Always Hailed with Delight,

Any Catastronh. o.,urri,, 80 a.. pott,
Alwavs Ha,,eJ yv,,n ns,,a,,,
II there is one thing more AMUSING
than an English nantomime a. a. the
English audience that 90 10 SEQ it
Men. women and children who arc intel.
liront enough ON ordinary occasiona
seem. under the.influence Of this notent
smell. to lose All control of themselvas
before the curtain rose the faces In 'front.'
were expressive and even thouobtful.
But when the entertainment was in full
swing all sense of nronrieSv was thrown
on
The audience were carried away and
delighted beyond measure and swallow
I'D the most idiotie nonsense with ono
broad grin that seemed 10 mantle the
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1890-09-12

oihccr in the central provinces. somo
OF his tribes took fright and ran away,
and hc induced their headmon to listen
to explanations. Relying ON the fact
that wa2ers OF various kinds figure ex-
tensiyely in Indian folk lore. he sol
emily assured them that tho Queen OF
England and the Emperor of Russia,
having quarreled IS to which ruled over
the most subjects, had laid big bet on
tho point lie went ON to explain that
the census was being taken in order TO
settle the bet and he warned his hear
crs in a spirited peroration that II they
staid In the jungle and refused to be
counted, the Queen would lose her money
and they would be disgraccd forever. as
nfmdk-hdrdpi, or traitors to their salt
Tho story served it's purpose, and the
tribes came in. Contemporary Review.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1890-09-12
THE NEIeHeoRLY WOMAN.
One of Her Long-sunering Victims Say,
She Must Go.


One of Her Long-suncrlng Victims Says
She Must Go.
|. What shall be done with the Woman
Next Door who borrows our servants?
This neighborly person., with a turn for
economy, does not keep domestic.
Why should she do so? II she has oc-
casion to go out shopping in the morn
ing, she simply orders the parcels sent
TO the next door neighbor's address, and
holds herself free for calling in the aft
ernoon. The servant nextdoor answers
the delivery boys ring and takes in the
goods. When the Woman Next Door
returns the neighbor's servant answers
the door-bell and hands out the goods
with springlng stop and a heart
grateful TO Providence for tho many
opportunities Of usefulness placed with
in her roach. The butcher boy is in
strrcted to leave the steak next door.
The baker leaves tho bread next door.
The grocer leaves the kitchen supplies
next door. The Woman Next Door
has occasion to go down town and
leaves instructions next door to takp
in her husband until her return.
The Woman Next Door goe down town
again and leaves the baby next door
until she gets back. The Woman Next
Door instructs her callers TO wait next
door In case she Is out And one day
the neighbor's servant coldly notifies
the mistress that she intends to leave at
tho end of the month, and she tells
other people that she has grown weary
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1890-09-12
ABOUT INTERVENING.
The Experience Of an Eneiis5 Politician
In the United states.

"
rhs Experience OF an Ensii,, Politician
In the United states.
This method OF acquainting the rso-
lie with the private thoughts and a,sairs
Of men Is legitimate enough II It Is only
carried on In accord with the first prin-
ciples OF honesty. II q person know;
he is talking TO tho public, and is then
correctly reported, there il no reason
why he should not be interviewed. IL
Is usually when one OF these conditions
is not complied with that trouble en-
sues The following artlcss description
OF tho custom In our country Is thus
giycr by an English Member OF Parlia.
ment in tho English Illustrated AIaga-
riss.
Whenever stranger OF the smallest
claim to public position arrives at q
place he Is interviewed. had tho
pleasure Of being interviewed several
times. II met with good reporter
he gave fair resume of our CONVERSE
tion, whereas in other cases he accom-
moduted my observations to the partic-
ular views OF the paper he represented,
or to the particular ideas OF the town in
which he lived. In one case was asked
about the .strikc OF the doclx-laborers,
and when my observations were pub
lished found TO my surprise the report
or had thought 1t right to write about
the doclS-yards. which made all l said
utter nonesense. In another case tho re-
porter was good enough 70 call upon me
two or thrco times, and on each occasion
happened to be out He grew tired OF
his efforts. and published his paragraph
without seeing me. 1t began In this
why: AT last we have got live En-
giish Lord Sir Julian Goldsmid has
arrived In our city was sorry for
him as his hopes in this respect were
not realized In one city my inter
viewer was young Enelishman who
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1890-09-12
THAT TERRIBLE cough.

In the morning, hurried or difficult
breathing, raising phleg, tightness
in the chest, quiclened pulse, chilli
ness in the evening or sweats at night,
all or any of these things are the first
stages Of consumption. DR.. Acker's
English Cough Remedy lriH cure
these fearful symptoms, and is sold
under positive guarantee by II. b.
GARNER, Druggist
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1890-09-12
@0FF~
ON A STILL HUNT
FOR
BARGAINS.
AND THE
CASH CATCHES THEM
EVERY Time.
Look Out For Us!
j. II. ANDERSON & CO..
Nos. and Main ST. Glass Corner.

The woman Next door nears with re-
grot that the servant next door has es.
capped, but her step does aot falter MOI
her heart soften; she goes mercilessly
upon her way, and the neighb Dor engages
two servants, one for herself and ono
for the Woman Next Door, or moves, or
dies, and the Woman Next Door orders
Grape tor the funeral, and has the par
Gel delivered at the house of mourning.
The Woman Next Dsor must go.-To-
ronto Globe.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1890-09-12
CENSUS TROUBLES.
Comical Experiences o. Enumerators I
Central Indfa.

Comica1 Experiences o. Enumerators In
Central India.
In one of the wilder districts OF BEN
gal, during the census OF 1881, curious
rumor got about among the Dravidian
tribes that the numbering of the people
was merely the preliminary to tho
wholesale deportation OF the mon to
serve as camp followers in Afghanistan
and OF the women to work as leaf-pick-
ers in the tea gardens Of Assam. This
silly fable, embellished with charac-
teristic but highly-indelicate details,
created general panic. Many thou
sands deserted their villages and hid
themselves in range of forest-clad
hills, where thoy hoped to escape the
official enumerators The number OF tho
fugitives was large enough to vitiate
the census statistics for that area,
and the day fixed for the final enumera-
tion was periously near. Something
had 70 be done, but any attempt TO COM
pei the tribes to come in would only
have Increased tho panic. The district
official used his personal acquaintance
with some of the tribal headmen or
slders to induce them to meet him and
talk matters ovor BY explaining to
them in simple language the real OBJ
ject OF the census, and laying stress on
tho necessity Of knowing, for the pur-
pose OF relieving famine, the exact pop
ulation OF district which had within
living memory suffered from two severe
r =. =
to exert theirinhuonce to get the people
back So effective was their action and
SO readily wero their orders obeyed
that within three days the villages
were again occupied, and whatever may
have been the defects OF the census
in that part Of the country they GER
tainly did not lie on the side OF omis-
sion.
The same thing was done, only in .
more humorous fashion. by n diatfict
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1890-09-12

was iona OF a rovinS nlc. ana nau come
there for few months during which he
had found an occupation on tho prlnci-
pal paper OF tho place. In another I
hit upon a man OF unusual ability. and
hc gave me more information than l
gave him. On tho whole found the
newspaper representatives al intel
ligent ami most polite sct OF mcn."
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1890-09-12
nuR yEpy nrsr pEnpIE

Confirm our statement when we say
that DR.. Acker's English Remeny Is
in every way superior 10 any and all
other preparations for she Throat and
Ludgs. In Whooping Cough and
Group it is a magic and relieves at
orcs. We offer you a sample bottle
free. Remember, this Remedy is
sold ON q positive guarantee.
H. B. GARNER, Druggist.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1890-09-12
To Nervous Debilitated Men.

Ii yon will send us your address,we
will mail you our illustrated pamphlet
explaining all about DIR. Dyes Cele-
brated Electric Voltaic Belt and APP
pliances, and their charming effects
upon the nervous debilitated system,
and how they vii quikly restore you
to vigor and manhood, Pamphlet
free, If you are thus afflicted, we will
send you Belt and Appliances on a
trial. voLTAIo Belt Co., Marshall,
Mich.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1890-09-12
ALiteral Version.

Clara's Mother (calliug) Clara,
Mr.. Smithers is in the parlor and says
he wants you.
( Clara (entering the parlor and
throwing herself into Smithers arms)
oh, Charlie, this is SO sudden
Clothier and Funisher.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1890-09-12

snow, boys, we have ten minutes for
questions. Is there any thing you'd
like TO have explained" said the teach.
cr in mythology.
"Ycs, SIR" said Willie. "IIow much
did Apoll-owe?"
'Is it proper to say he is, or 'He-he'9"
queried Johnny.
in what respect did Jupit-errT' put
in Georgia.
But thore came no answer. The teach
er thrashed them soundly, and sent
them home to their MarD.-Harper's
Bazar.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1890-09-12
rHE FIRsr sYMproMs OF DEATH.

Tired feeling, dull headache, pans
in various parts of the body, sinking
at the pit Of the stomach, loss of ap-
petite, feverishness, pimples or sores,
are all positive evidence of poisoned
blood. No matter how it became
poisoned it must be purified to avoid
death. DIR. Acker's English Blood
Elixir has neUer failed to remove
scrofulous or syphilitic poisons. Sold
under positive guarantee.
ii. b. GARNER, Druggist.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1890-09-12

Dick whata tremendous Lotto candy
to send to glrl-and homely one at
thatl
Jack-Ah! my boy, want to make
her so sick that she won't want to go to
the opera tonight 1t will make a diff
ference of twenty dollars, don't you
sees -Munsoy's Weekly.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1890-09-12

"You have Travelled extensively in
Europe, ] understand, Mr.. Gomuch." ;"
"Quite extensively, madam" l."
well, do they have good bacon in
Paris I"
"No, we get that on the Rhine"
Plmdor.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1890-09-12
An Echo from the Nursery.

81 don't believe in raising children
on silver dishes and golden spoons"
"Well, it isn't altogether wise to
ra SO them by the ears or on the toes
OF boots, either" - Philadelphia
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1890-09-12
VerY Singular.

Curious fact iu serpentology.'
"What's thatl"
at is the snake that il ratified that
gets in the best work. Now York
Sun.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1890-09-12
rhat.s So.

He-I believe in calling things by
their proper names.
She (who teaches grammar class
But things don't have proper names,
you know. Washington Star.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1890-09-12
PuzzIing custom expIained.

Editha-I wonder why the dudes
wear one eye glass?
Deborah To prevent seeing more
than they are able to comprehend
jewelers. Weekly.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1890-09-12
An Appropriate Name.

"why do you call this Riddle Cot
tagei"
because tonants giveit up every
year. Harper's Bazaar.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1890-09-12

Smithers = Haven't you reaG some
where that home was the dearest spot on
earth?
Blithers-I believe have.
Smithers-Well, it's not, by blamed
sight II you have any doubts as to
whore the dearest spot on earth'is just
try couple OF weeks at . Saratoga
hotel. Siftings
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1890-09-12

Shocked the Equine Nerves.
"Did you see that car horse shy
when | signaled to the driverT
Eyes. You said sHayp and it scar
ed the horse. "-Harper's Bazar.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1890-09-12

A child that is restless at night and
don't sleep well, should be given DIR.
Bulls Worm Destroyers. 1t may
have worms.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1890-09-12

The same thing was done. only in .
more humorous fashion. BY distfict
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1890-05-08
As 1t Was Published in Germany.

Governor Francis has received from
Max Kotany, q st. Louis broker visit
ng Germany, the following translation
IF surprising account of the Missouri
Treasury shortage, which appeared in
he North German Gazette:
s.. Louis: \ few DAYS ago the doors OF the
Treasury Department of the State were
closed during office hours. As soon rs Gov
ernor Francis was informed of the fact, he
sent for Treasurer holland and asked for
an explanation. and the latter, in the cool
est manner possible, told the following
tory.
In order to pay the monthly bills which
are due to-day, l drew from the bank yes
erday S37 900. Stepping into the st. Louis
Club to get a drink of whisky, found, to my
misfortune, game of poker in prog
.ess and / concluded to Join it for
half hour. I made a few small bets
until was 500 ahead. Then big hand was
1ealt me, three aces and two kings, the big
gest full instantly bet 500. Every body
passed out with the exception of one man.
lie saw my bet and raised me the same
amount. raised him back and he did the
same, and SO we kept on betting until the
whole of the $50 900 was in the pot. Imagine
my surprise and modification when dis
covered that what ! considered an almost
snvincible hand WAS beaten, as my opponent
lau four duces. Now tel! me, Governor, do
you blame me? Would not you too, have
staked all your money on the same kind of
4 hand:'
eyes; my own money, bat not the money
Of tie State replied the Governor, and in =
SANITY suspended the treasurer
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1890-05-08

DAYTON, o., May s.-Sixty wood
carvers a the car-works struck yesterday,
because Foreman Kronaug persisted in
employing good men whether they be-
longed to the union or not. They gave
him the alternative, and he replied
that he asked no questions of the men
he employed. The men then walked
out in an orderly manner. 1t is ex-
pected that within day or two most of
the men will go back to work.
Carpenters on several large buildings
wavered yesterday morning, but all
went to work half hour late, and tho
men are working peacefully as usual.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1890-05-08
LATE NEWS ITEMS

| IN the Senate, on the Sd, the rcsOlu-
ton calling on the Secretary of the
| Treasury for information as to the eX-
port and import of gold and silver dur
ing the calendar year 1889, was agreed
to. The Senate then proceeded to the
consideration of bills on the calendar,
and had passed two or three of no gem
eral interest, when, at quarter-past
four o'clock, dispatch was read by the
presiding officer, in voice betraying
deep emotion, announcing the sudden
death of Senator Beck. of kentucky, in
the Baltimore e Ohio railway sta ton,
whereupon the Senate immediately adj
liourned.......In the House the Diplo-
matte and Consular Appropriation bill
was considered in committee of the
whole and passed. The House also
passed the joint resolution appropriate
ing SIT, 600, 900 for the improvement of
the Mississippi river from the Passes to
the mouth of the Ohio.
| WHILE workmen were hosting the
statue of Justice weighing four tons,
! to the fifth story of the new Govern
ment building in Philadelphia, on the
Sd, the derrick broke, letting the statue
| fall to the ground. Thomas Carry,
la borer, was struck by the falling der
rick and instantly killed. A large
ornamental stone was also broken and
the sidewalk damaged. The statue,
however, is uninjured by it's fall of five
stories.
| A RAPID rise in the Occur D'Alene
lake and the Spokane river and its
tributes has been caused by the melt
ing of snow in the mountains. In the
llowlands many families have been COM
peeled to move, and the mayor has noti-
| fed property-ownors, advising them to
employ watchmen to guard their prop
ertp.
| RICH citizen of Weimar. Germany,
named Doebeeriner was, on the Sd, SEN
fenced to nine months Imprisonment for
insulting Miss Lemmer, an American
lady. Action in the case, however, was
only secured after an appeal had been
made to the American consul.
! WASHINGTON correspondents of lead
ing newspapers TO the number of sixty
five were entertained by an old-fash-
Toned barbecue at Atlanta, Ga, on the
Sd. The day was spent in the woods,
dining. speaking, singing and shopping
war stories.
IN accordance with the opinion Of
Attorney-General Huston. of Michigan
about 1,500 of the veterans of the late
war in that State are entitled to $780,
bounties.
The third oil we'll was struck in Terre
Haute, Ind, on the Sd. 1t is located
within block of the center CT TIE city.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1890-05-08
AGcueral Strike Feared.

BosToN, May Sit is now feared
that there will be a general strike in
all the building trades, or at least very
serious disturbance in work. Some
time ago the Building Laborers' Union
asked the Master Builders Association
for conference with regard to fixing
wages, no rate having been fixed for
four years They asked for twenty
five cents an hour, but said nothing
about the number of hours per day.
This communication was laid on the
table by the master builders. The
worlsmcn met last night to take action
on the matter.