The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1890-08-03
Mr.. AND MRS. BOWSER.
The Latter Tells How the Former Moved
tho Hall Coal Stove.

to, and when summer came without Mr..
Bowser having said anything about a
removal felt perfectly assured that he
would leave that stove alone. Great
was my CONSERVATION, therefore, when
he suddenly observed the other evening
as we roasted on the front steps:
"Well, well, but how absent minded
1 have become. Why didn't you call
my attention to the fact that that coal
stove had not been moved out of the
hall?'
because it is to be left there"
"Not much! People must have thought
us o queer family to haveit there as long
as we have"
"Mr. Bowser, that stove is not in the
way, and it is not an eyesore. Besides
we have no place to store it,"
cit goes to the barn of course"
"Mr. Bowser, you can no more move
that stove than can fly"
"Can't 1? can do it with one hand
tied behind me, and I'll go right at it,"
MIR Bowser, remember that 1 pro-
test"
Certainly. You are the great Amer
lean protester, anyway. If killed a fly
you'd protest
went back to the steps, knowing well
what would happen, but felt that had
done my duty. I heard him fussing
around for while, and then he muttered:
"She's purity hefty, but she's got to
come out O this"
| dc Lotto
whoop, and when I got into the hall Mr..
Bowser stood on one foot and was shak-
ing the other in the air, while the top
of the stove lay on the floor. He had
pulled it off at the first grab.
"Thunder-and blazes-and Jewhit-
taker-and Texas-and JemimaP' he was
yelling as he waved his foot aloft.
Didn't 1 tell YOU'D" I queried, as I
looked at him.
mo! Never! You never said a word
not q world"
"Now, will you let that stove alone?"
"No! I'll take it out of here if l die
for it!' a.
Mr. Bowser, this pig headed obstinacy
of yours will surely lead to-
None of the Bowser family were ever
yet tlowned by coal stove, and it's too
late to begin now!'
Another man would have removed the
legs first. He didn't think of it, but IN
dertook to move the stove as one moves
a barrel standing on end He had pro-
crossed about five feet when there was a
sound which frightened the whole neigh
borhood. 80 Ae&e 80
My first impression was that the gin
ger ale factory in the alley had exploded
and driven our barn up against the
kitchen. My next was that a British
gunboat had slipped around from the
Behring sea and dropped 400-pound
shell on the roof of our house to offset
Mr.. Bowser's assertions that we were
the greatest fighting nation on earth.
knew what had happened. So did
the cook. So did the neighbors 1t was
minute before could move, and was
flying indoors when heard Mr.. Bowsel
utter strange sound something be-
tween the last roar of dying lion anG
the plaintive moan of COW for her los
, calf. couldn't see him at first. 1t wa:
, all stove, and the stove was on top o.
him. Between my screams and the cook!
shouts we got q neighbor in, and thu
three of US lifted up the stove and drag
ged Mr.. Bowser out.
I got the doctor up. No bones were
broken, but Mr.. Bowser had collapsed
, like an empty barrel, and every squar'
: inch of him was bruised and poun ded
1t was long after midnight before hi
said anything. was rubbing him will
arnica with one hand and flaming hin
with the other, when he looked up ant
asked:
''Mrs. Bowser, is it fatai?"
"Oh, no, dear"
"Any bones broken?"
'None."
''Did the stove fall on me?''
eyes. dear"
g "Don't yes. DEAR me, Mrs. Bowser
8 for I won't stand it! The scales hav
fallen from my eyes at last, and l know
you for what you are! A nice job
< wasn't it! Calculated I'd be driver
< through the floor, didn't you? Hoped t
: be widow by this time, eh? Tomorrow
Mrs. Bowser, I'll call up a lawyer, an
we'll see what's what!"-Detroit Ere
Press.