The prison mirror. [volume] (Stillwater, Minn.) 1887-1894, 1890-03-13
VandiVersS Address.

Last Sunday afternoon at the close of
Maj. T. M. Newson's lecture, Mr.. j. S.
Vandiver. editor of the Saltwater Demo-
crat, delivered the following medley of facts
and fancieS with all the diffidence of man
about to meet his death at the hands, etc. !:
For the first time in my life l address an
audience with an assurance that they will
all hear me to the end. | did not come here
to-day to address you as cOnvictS, because
want you, if possible, to forget while under
the charm of my musical soprano voice, that
l am more fortunate than you in the respect
that haven't yet been caught at it. l have
got lots of good moral precepts. but [ left
them down at the printing Office waiting
for the good example l am going to set next
New Years Day. If could catch you one
at a time l might have the nerve to fill you
up with moral precepts, but as it is l know
that you would size them up for all they are
worth and size me up at the same time.
With the facilities which you enjoy for
keeping yourselves posted as to the worlds
dOingS and the fact that you have a better
newspaper right here among you than many
of us are able to get up on the outside |
might find myself in the same dilemma as
the old woman who wrote. Il seat myself
and take my pen in hand to write you these
few lines to let you know that | am enjoy
ing very poor health" and then pause for
further material but there are one or two
things SO common to the interests of all
men, be they in Jail or congress, in church
or in state. in luck or in the soup. that one
need not hesitate long in selecting something
to talk about. l have seen good deal of
hard luck myself. have counted ties from
Portland. Oregon, to the Zenith City OF
the Unsalted Seas" l have enjoyed the
questionable hospitality of the two DakOtas
when Prohibition was so rigidly enforced
that one could not even get good drink of
pure water, and the chickens roasted high.
have seen my last penny 90 to swell the
bank account of a mOnOpolistic washee
washee and have filled myself with husks
There is no form or species OF hard luck or
bad MANAGEMENT that l haven't been the
victim of. from skin game of faro to one
hoss Democratic paper. and l feel that l
have right to all opinion, an opinion as an
expert in the matter of misfortune. Now
the only remedy which | have to offer for
any and all misfOrtunes, bad luck. bad man
agement or bad fixes, is, be cheerful. l
find that very easy to say and it is a medi-
cine l always take myself. l assure you
that l have had as many occasions FOR using
it as any of you. and it always cured me.
Keep cool and bide your time: don't expect
everything to come your way at once. l
do not believe in the old platitude that there
is no condition that cannot be made worse.
l know there is, but there is only one, and
that is when your condition is that of a
corpse. l don't come here to fatigue you
with suggestions as to your moral training
there are others whose examples give
them better right to do so. and who can
do it better anyhow. All that can say to
you is be cheerful and if you can't be cheer
full be as cheerful as you can. Wait for the
sitting OF the next legislature; possibly they
may do something for you; if they don't.
the probabilities are that most Of them will
be here themselves in the course of time and
then you can talk it over with them.
[ would like to say something to you On
the subject of intemperance but all l have
to offer you is the lawful example," and
you have doubtless seen enough of them al
ready.
l almost envy some of you for the time
you have at your disposal. l have been
wanting for good many years to write a
book. but so far. circumstances have con
spired to prevent me. You see even if
man keeps sober for year or two it keeps
him so busy trying to make living and pay
up the debts he made when he wasn't sober
that he doesn't have much time to spare.
Now you see if l had year or two to put
in with you boys here l wouldn't have to
worry about money to buy tripe and things
for my family. and l could write the book.
But fear no judge would send me here if
he knew [ was going to perpetrate book
on the innocent public. More of my hard
luck.
1 don't know how it is with you folks.
but with us we have a set of people known
as "kckers." They don't do any particular
harm that know of, but they are source
of good deal of trouble to some people.
Not so with me. If there is one thing that