Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1890-09-05
HONEST CARL DuNDER.
He Makes Journey to Buffalo 10 Get Hi
Eye-Teeth Cut.

"Well, we'll, wellr' exclaimed Ser.
geant Bendall yesterday, as corpulent
form darkened the doorway of the
Woodbridge Street Station, and he looked
up to see Carl Dunder walk in.
at vhas me, Sergeant"
"Yes, | see. Where on earth have
you been for the last three months?"
Sergeant, you know me for long
time"
YES"
81 vhas some hayseeds."
"Yo we're"
81 vhas so shildlike dot eaferybody
shwindles me-"
THAT'S true"
'Nothings und nobody vhas twice
alike in dis country"
"No."
i'You advise me to soak my head,
sandpaper my neck, slump in der rifer
or hang myself"
Eyes, did"
well, like to oblige you, because
you vhas my friendt, but l goes to Puff
falo instead. My bruder vhas in Puffa-
10! Ali sergeant that Puffalo vhas
great place-a great place. Sooch sharp
peoples you nefer saw. | goes by my
bruder und take some lessons. Dat
vhas der place to get some eye-teeth cut
out. Sergeant, look at me?'
''Pm looking. You look like differ
ent man from what you did. You've got
a foxy look about the eyes, and nobody
would take you for greenhorn now"
Sergeant, vhas more ash one fox
wash four foxes. If anybody can beat
me now l like to see him try it on. I
doan' take ten tousand dollar for what
learned in Puffalo."
well, I'm glad of it, What ails your
finger?"
"She vhas broke-ha ha! hal"
ga joke then?"
der biggest kind of shoke. While
! vhas in Cleveland der odder day a
stranger comes oop to me und says Will
buy some photographs of Garfields
tomb. I hit him so queek ash light
ming, und dot finger vhas broken"
"What did you hit him for?'
because he takes me for some hay
seed. Nobody has tomb until no vhas
dead"
But Garfield is dead
mot mooch. Doan' ] see aboudt him
in der papers all der time. Doan' it say
dot he shall vetoe dot silver bill"
That's Harrison! You have got the
two mixed upl'
You doan' say mel Vhas dot posi-
BILE! Vhas it Ben Harrison who vhas
President, instead of Ben Garheld?"
"Of course"
Great scots! Und dot Teller vhas all
right, und almost killed him! If Gar.
field vhas dead | doan' remember it.
Veil! veil! make oop for it, however.
''How?"
F" son der train | meet man who vhas
hard oop. He takes me for sucker
He beliefs he can swindle me like seek
ty He has watch und wants to sell
him und get money to go by his mud
der's dying bedstead, He asked me fifty
dollars"
And you paid it?"
mot mooch! Dot isn't the Puffalt
vhay. I offered him twenty, und he
sheds some tears und says he shall ha
to do it,
Got it with your"
Eyes. Here she vhas."
Got tired, see, and stopped. Wheels
loose, too, Silver plate on nicke
case. Worth five dollars bushel wher
the market ism glutted. Mr.. Dunder
1t was a swindle."
"Noal"
He took you in and made fool o
you. What's in that package?"
"Some agency for Michigan. buy
him in Puffalo,"
Ely screen, eh? Where does the
agency come in? Isn't it like any otbe
fly screen?"
"She was reversible, you see. I buy
der whole State agency for twenty-five
dollars"
Reversible? How?"
"Voy, if you hat dis side out der file
can't come in, If you hat dis sid,
out der bugs und mosquitoes can't com,
in"
"And he made you believe thatl'
Belief that! Can't see init my tw,
eyes?"
Eyes, but look at that screen in tn,
window. Doesn't one side keep ever,
thing out. You have been victimizeG
all around"
Sergeant said Mr.. Dunder, as h
rose up, twas | a wictim?"
Eyes"
"Doan' know more ash hay-stack.
mot much"
"Vhas shust as green ash before
, goes to Puffalop"
7 "Greener',
: dot vhas all. Good bye! When m,
body vhas pulled oudt of dot rifef'shus
{ speak nit dem reporters und say dot
, couldn't help it. l vhas a good mar
, but so child-like dot dis cold un
weeked world vhas no place for MEL
Detroit Free Press.