The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1890-10-10

~ ing public:
w :: :: :: e: !: :: =: !: ::
Inv IA Mi r-sE2
60 IG&ISs in new YORK? with
mym. little. writER
Nvz- type wi. writer
mean couldent
~rite things for you out ); pyy4444445ofm my
ovo loughts if you would FIRST Think the567n
-. of course can write-15Shgrrfaster than
this when had some good yumrus FRIEND to be
with 8S7766? now DOyou get off a them drol
5443276 5things EVERYs
SUNday?is it born in you?or is it just PLAIN
bring ing UP:
Please excuse bad spelling and bad cokxld !
thought would tell you it is rake ing haere to
daixS so good BXXe??
J urs truly
(dictated)
The above is, of course, more or less per-
personal, but the question is one which con-
Germs many other young men who may be
thus afflicted. l therefore take the liberty of
answering an inquiry publicly which
would otherwise regard as strictly confiden-
tial, suppressing the name, however, and the
irst par graph, both of which read like the
soliloquy of a shell box" or the smothered
CALCULATIONS Of ''pied form"
To the correspondent, whose letter is above
given, I might say that l believe there would
be an opening here for him if he would give
himself up to a certain class of work. OF
course, he could hardly hope to enter the
regular channels of commercial correspond
ence with typewriter that has such a pro-
nounced impediment in its speech as this one
has, but could he not hope to get job at
Volapuk at headquarters?
Certainly there ought to be a place some
where for one whose only trouble seems to be
a kind of information of the vowels.
There might be future here for such a
graphic and graceful style of writing, if it
could be used in reporting telephone re-
marks over crossed wires. The word paint
ing and vulgar fractions are similar and it
might be made to arouse good deal of in
interest if properly worked up.
Of course it would be necessary that he
should tone down some of his extravaganza
figures of speech and avoid overexertion of
the punctuator, but with his wealth of full
stops he might do well ON a periodical, and
his space work would certainly attract atten-
ton. Or he could go into the counting room
of man who did not advertise and do as
| signment work.
The typewriter, in strong and willing
hands, is smitier than the sword. look for
the typewriter to take the place of Indian
oratory in our literature, and its tinkling
notes will soon be heard, hope, in homes
where the one legged pen and the bottle of
bluing all the writing now are doing.
Come to the metropolis Sx:t1S&fm?S.
Come with your abnormal: and your little
tYpESwritER. Come with your startling
style of English and your chaste method of
obliterating space. Come and get acquainted
with mR.sAgE and mr. SSSSS. gould. Il
Here you will meet many yumurus people
who will amuse you to high Q. You will
also meet Mr.. anthony cOmStocK, who will
require you to drape all your figures in the
following manner (S).
Come to New York and get a new soft
palate put into your typewriter and have an
operation performed on its tonsils.
Come and visit the produce SSSlblblbbbl
bblbbl Exchange Come and see Wall pf'd
$$$Oo0-Sy street. Ride on our Elevated
railway from BBZzzTaass- 0)Xl!l&&&5; :rd,
street, to ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
street. Visit the brig. Theodore, dam
Tarantua straight for place, b. M Rob
Roy dam Ella Jackson horse races!!
The more you mix up with us the more
you will like us. We New Workers from
Wyoming territory enjoy having people
thrown among US. You would meet with
hearty welcome whether you came to grow
up with our bacteria or to buy green goods
Cordiality is our one weakness. If cordial
greeting would not suit you you can take
apollinaris water. With your natural ten
dency toward delirium tremens, perhaps that
would be best, any way
I used to be acquainted with young man
rxbn if1l G.. /Q-fx
for that was before the days of typewriters.
He would bring out his writing materials
and his tongue and make corkscrew pea
cock swimming in large cranberry marsh
infested by loops and funny business, all
without taking his pen off the paper He
was thorough artist, with lofty soul, but
he could not spell. He could construct a
graceful swan with halo of Autographed
worms all around it, but nature and art
had denied him the humber joys of orthog-
raphy. He could make a lovely purple
scroll with a green fringe to it and red
eyed bobolinks, with heliotrope bosoms.
perched on space and bearing in their
bronzed talons yet other smaller scrolls that
were as graceful as a doughnut horse, and on
these scrolls would be written such glittering
truths as these: "In friendships bright ger
land, Please regard me as your Humbel fur
getmenott," ''Look up, press Onnerds & you
will git there"
But his style is robbed of much of its grace
and beauty by immersing it in cold and pulse
less type. He was bold and fearless writer
and his hands were ever red with the blood of
murdered English He broke down the high
walls established by the brainy but discon-
nected and Eighty Noah Webster, and spelled
such words as ''pillgarlicn in a way that kept
his finer writings out of the magazines. But
when he assassinated the English he made no
attempt to conceal his methods. He wrote
under everything: Executed with a penn
And he rocked not. Not reck.
Whether you can ever rise to such a posi-
ton with your type writer, Mr.. $x:t1S&fm?S,
l do not know. l hope you may. Your
photography is rich with improvisations,
roulades and trills. Running through all
your work l notice an air of gentle badinage,
bon homme, persiaage and pi. You have
given utterance in your letter t. thoughts
which l could not think without the aid of
outside influences. | could not evolve such
sentiments without the stimulus of fall
from a high building or the exhilaration of a
railway collision.
1t is the unexpected in your humor which
gives it its chief charm No one can tell.
when you start out, whether you will soar
sway among the asterisks and space, or get
involved in scuffie between lower case and
capital, in which you will get injured, morti-
flcation and exclamation set in and you lose
your life.
am glad you wrote to me with your.litst'o
type writer, and though believe that you
can do better than you did, and that as a
matter of fact "Sx:t19 &fm?S" is really an
assumed name, your letter hes given me
much erllyment, and l print it this morn
ing with gfeat pleasure.
so. good BXye