The morning call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1878-1895, 1890-12-28
WHILE YOU WAIT.
ALI Parts of the Human Body
Supplied Except Vital Organs.

When one of Noah's grandchildren lost a
finger in a hay-cutter or an arm in a buzz
saw or had an eye put out or leg cut of, or
lost his hair or teeth, he was forced to go
without the item thus dedu cited from his
sum total for the rest Of his mortal life. 1t
is hard to credit the amount of patching up,
says the New York World. that may now
be accomplished by the advanced processes
of inventions of these days.
Suppose that man has lost all four limbs,
his hair, his eyes, his nose, all his teeth and
portion OF his palate; he has fractured
skull and tubercles on his lungs. The gen.
tleman may also be covered with the pits OF
an early case of smallpox. and may have
been presented at his birth. with large
mole On his cheek.
First, Of course. he will have his head ire
PANIED by some Skillful surgeon, and when
he has had the tubercles removed from his
lungs by specialist in pulmonary diseases
ana has recovered from the exhausting Ell
fects of these two operations he will be in
proper state to have his eyes attended to.
A rabbit is selected whose optics are OF
color becoming to the subject, and one OF
them is transplanted by means of transfer
ence. OF course he could hardly expect TO
have both eyes successfully supplied IN THIS
way, but supposing he has good luck and
one grows satisfactorily, the other socket,
for the sake of beauty and symmetry. will
be filled by one of the glass eyes now manu-
featured to such perfection.
His next proceeding will be to call in
maker of artificial limbs and be measured
for full suit of arms and legs.
II the patient is fortunate enough to have
one arm down to the wrist he will be sup
piled with hand with which he can man
age to write a little and feed himself quite
perfectly His lower limbs will convey him
from place to place-not very gracefully, to
be sure-but Still as well as many merely
lame legs convey their owners, but which,
sitting or resting will present, perhaps.
more symmetrical appearance than tie orig
inals they have succeeded.
The once total wreck is still bald, tooth
less and disfgured with pOckmarks and
mole. An artificial set OF teeth, quite as
good as the original article, and incal able of
aching, will be supplied by any good den
also will be furnished. Then the hair would
naturally be his next drought.
He may have hair or pc rtionS OF scalp
transplanted to the uncovered Uranium.
But this is a long and painful process, SO we
will suppose that the subject contents him
self with wig Fortunately, in these days
wigs are made which are entirely deceptive
and, SO far as appearance goes, look quite
as well as natures own production. The
writer of these lines has shared a room with
the wearer of such wig for several days
and was not aware that his companions ny
perioD locks were not the proper growth OF
the head they adorned until in burst OF
confidence the truth was revealed.
The beauty-seeker next goes to that artist
of recent growth, the ''dermatologist," who
first destroys his mole by "electTosis" aud
then gets to work upon the pock-marks
These are smoothed by disintrgrating
process, which loOsenS up the fbrous strue-
ture of the scars and smooths down the
whole face by sort of planning method.
He is still disfgnred by the want of a nose,
certainly most important lack in human
countenance. This feature may now be
supplied by surgery by traDspanting fold
of human flesh from some living arm, which
is held near the face to be repaired uutil a
portion OF the fold has grown fast in its new
situation, and then is wholly separated from
the arm, and forms a fairly satisfactory
nasal appendage.
Here the former human wreck may walk
about the streets or call upon his feminine
ing their charms. tor he has one available
eye. lie may smile also, for his molars and
incisors are now plentiful and of pearly
Wilderness, and though his nose may be a
trifle pudding-like and lack Grecian symme-
try of line, his delicate complexion and lux
uriant hair largely compensate for this tri-
fling defect.
He will never, of course, be satisfactory
partner in the waltz, but his dignified repose
and symmetrical limbs must make him an
ornament to the reception and CONVERSE
Ziune.
Thus, while the vital organs remain within
the trunk and the gray matter Of the brain
is intact, man need not dispair, and sur
grons believe that we may soon expect to see
the Ill-furnlshed Uranium supplied with such
qualities as it lacks, and poets, painters, in
yentors and philosophers manufactured out
OF the raw material of the idiot ward and
the stage-dcor contingent.