The new era., 1890-08-28
BR1EFLErs.

BRIEFLETs.
1t takes more religion to hold a man
level in horse trade than it does to
make him shout at a camp meeting.
Heaven will be full of surprises, but
none greater than when man realizes
that all his good intentions have put
no jewel in his crown.
Yeast" Do you quarrel with your
neighbor vet about his hen coming over
in your garden an Crimsonbeak-" No,
we're all over that now." Buried the
hatchet pn " No, better still; buried the
hem"
mo, my man, this is not mine, 1t
was a twenty dollar bill l lost" " But
it was twinty dollar bill before gotit
changed, sor.'' What did you get 1t
changed for ?' "Och, sure, so the
owner could convayniently reward me,
,sorn
Have you seen Chelopatra's num-
M, ST. Y es.'' " is it really beauti-
fulP'' swell that depends on what
you call beautiful. Did you ever see a
dried apple ?n g Yes.' Well, that 3
Celeopatra's mummy on small scale"
81 know why you go down town
every night now, William ~ " You
do ?n said the young husband, and his
face blanched. g Yes you're learning
to ride. l heard you say in your sleep,
you fellows take what you please, I
want pony"
Tramp" That was a good dinner.
ANY little thing kin do for you now n
Farmer" Do you know how to burn
stumps? ~ Tramp" What Am
goin' to have an after dinner cheroot !
Thunderl 1 amt picked up q stump
since left the city,"
"No,n said she, II can be only a
sister to YOU" :. Very well,n said he,
:" must be goingl I had expected a
different answer, but-well good
night !" ''George, she faltered, as he
started out into the night, George p
" What is it?n he asked Grossly.
g Aren't you going Co kiss your sister
good night 2" He did not go.
With a s3 razor, 75-cent strap, a so
cent lather brush, 10 cents worth Of
soap, some alum TO check hemorrhage,
and quarters worth of court-plaster
to conceal the gashes, any men can do
his own Sunday shaving, and snap his
fingers at the closers, if he has looking
glass, and the children can be kept out
of the room, 50 that they won't gel
nervous.
Newspaper publisher Ito applicant
for editorial chair)-'' Have you even
had any experience in stealing manu-.
scripts without paying for them, and
copying choice matter without credit.
ing il? 2" Applicant eagerly" Oh
yes, I was brought up, that way
Nsewspaper Iablisheggm..... Then y9aa ss AIS
no man for us. You belong on re-
ligious weekly"
Let go of my hand, Harry pouted
the maiden. I" III button this one my
self. You would never make a prize
fighter.n :" Why not 2n asked Harry.
Because you are SO awkward with the
gloves.'' Wouldn't make "a prize
fighter, wouldn't / pn he retorted hotly.
4" See how skillfully can get one in on
your mouth" And he did. and followed
it up with several others. But she
was young woman who could stand a
great deal of punishment.
sit always sort o. makes me feel sad
and downhearted to read about the pro-
digal son in the Bible," said Farmer
Slikens to his male offspring, who was
home on his summer vacation.
g Y-a-a-s.'' Yaws." echoed the old
man, as his lips curled contemptuously,
g he came back and says honorably and
flatfooted, I've done wrong an / want
another chance.'v " Y-a-a-s ~
"Yaws. he didn't come back to the
farm pizenin' the very butterflies with
the smoke from his siggereets, an
says: Pops, ole boy, I'm dead broke !;
couldn't you let me have twent to
keep up my end with the fels at the
club? Notmuch he didn't" And the
old man heaved a sigh and went out to
feed the hogs.