davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-08-24
a Suggestion.

cts worse the times are getting" OBJ
served Mr.. O'Rafferty, laying down the
evening paper he had been reading.
Whats the matter now?" asked his
wife.
1.-THE paper tells of brute of man
that kilt his wife an two childer an
thin kilt himself"
Wouldn't it be nice" remarked Mrs
O'Rafferty, IF thin that commits muir
der would only kill themselves frst?'-
Harper's Bazaar.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-08-24
HARMONY.

Hennypeok-Have you got dye that
will change the hair and beard to deli
cate ecru?
Druggist-No, sir. Why, may ask,
do you wish to dye in that peculiar
shade?
Hennypeck-Well, you see my wife
has had the library decorated in that
shade, and she thinks I don't harmonic
with it.-Chicago Tribune.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-08-24
A Sordid ExpJanation.

Mr.. Mercenary Batchelor-I love my
wife more than ever thought man of
my age and habits was capable of loving
a woman.
Charley Sensley-She must have been
a good deal richer than you thought she
was, guess Washington Star.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-08-24
Midsummer Madness.

Wagg-Hello, Wallace, you're quite a
stranger. Been away on a long trip
west, understand?
Wallace-Yes, my boy, I've had quite
journey. I've been out to Seattle.
Wagg-You don't say so. And was
Attic glad to see you, old man?-Somer-
vile Journal
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-08-24
Returned

EhtIIIILAE'tIs
She kissed her little hand to me,
Then bIusned and quickly fed;
A crimson ross bush caught her foot
AID roses we're her bed.
1 fastened after, aid To give,
And soothe the pain abe had;
kissed the wounds the thOrBs had made
Not on her hAnd-I add
She pouted some and looked quite mad,
Then rising from Der bed,
And shaking out her truant cIIrls,
You think you're smart 3" she sad
Henry A LAvely IN America
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-08-24
Cause for sadpe.s.

What's the matter You look Sc
sad"
ny urcle's condition troubles ne.
why. saw rim . little while ago,
and he seemed u enjoy perfect health "
That = exactly what troubles me- -
Texas Slfrnzs.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-08-24
Why He Wore Them.

Cholly-Fweddy. old boy. what are
you wearing those big speccacIes for7
Fweddy-Because all the snobs. don't
= know, weah a single eyeglswss-
weah these laage speCtacles 70 let EN-
know I'm not Goosid snob. bah Jove'
Chicago Tribune.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-08-24

Ii snort time we hed reashsL.' s--s
point where / was sure we would run
across the spoer Of Enin Tutewner.
began to inquire of the natives and to
look about me on every hand. bat
could get no clew of nim whatever until
dark, when native who came TO nv
tent with some tulu, which he offered to
exchange for colored beads and s small
Bible which was reading, gave me nay
first news Of Emin. He said, which /
afterward found to be true, that Emin
had heard that he was shortly TO get re-
Heved, and so he took the o'clock boat
home.
The above is written in good faith, in
order that the public may understand
the true inwardness Of this expedition,
and in order that my trussy fellow trav-
elers, who paid their own expenses and
took their lives in one hand, as 1t were,
and their washing in the other, may
stand before the public in their true
lights, and not suffer the grave injustice
which others have ssught to thrust upon
them. Whilst we did not relieve Emin
Tutswiler, we had it there for him if he
chose TO accept it. He could take it or
he could let it alone. We do not go
around coaHng people TO be discovered
and relieved by Us.
Both Mr.. Jaggs and Mr.. Sawdorf
Astor-Plaice will deliver few lectures
this coming season on Insect Life on
the Congo. and How to Snare Ele-
phants." Letters addressed to my care
will be just as safe as they would any
where. BILL NYE,
Late Chief of the Rear Guard of the
Emin Tutewiler Relief Expedition.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-08-24
Easily Remedied.

"Look here, Davis" exclaimed the
manager of the dime museum aghast,
''you have made a mistake. 1t wasn't
an Esquimau girl l wanted for this de-
partment. 1t was a CircasGian girl"
That's all right, colonel replied the
travelling agent. "Ulga," he said, turn
ing to the dusky beauty, go wash your
face and friz your hair. Chicago Tib-
Qne
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-08-24
Eow to Do 1t.

"What is necessary when you wish to
beat retreat" asked an old military
man at Fort Washington.
81 suppose you'd have to retreat faster
than the other fellows" was the reply
that came after some deliberation.-
Washington Post.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-08-24
should Have said So at First.

Look here, said the hungry guest at
9 summer reeort hotel. Il wanted that
steak and coffee some time today-not
next week"
"Yoh didn' say dat when yoh give &c
ohdah. sab" replied the water IN tones
Of great Difference W ashington Post.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-08-24
Hand 70 Mouth.

Snaggs-Hello. BaggsI Haven't seen
you for years How are you living DowG
Baggs-Oh, hand to mouth.
Snaggs-You don't say so! By Jove,
wouldn't have thought it.
Bsggs-Why not2 Can't man be q
dentist and be Observation-Disclosures
Free Press
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-08-24
During the Cross Examination

IIawyer-The murdered man was shot
in the cardiac region, believe.
Honest Witness-No, sir; he was shot
in the Adirondack region. on the Indian
carry, between the Raquette river and
upper Saranac lake.-SomerYilIe Jour
nal
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-08-24

Excited CItzen-OEcs-: offer :
man has Just jumped OF oE thzt pIe--
Policeman fyses can't s=1ue-Wsn.
there amt Id law ain bSttan' with
clothes CT. L tzsrsz-L.e
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-08-24
An Indefinite Term.

NlSitor-How long are you IN for, my
poor man?
Pusoner-Dunno. ma am.
Eisitor-How can that be?
Prlsoner--It's life sentence. Puck.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-08-24
Expensive Hardware.

Wife, don't think we'd better build
this year. Everything is so high.
Husband-What Is it now?
Wife, notice an advertisement Of
Ightpenny nails. That's a good deal
for nail.-Lowen Citizen.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-08-24

Charming Susan-What is a thick.
short neck the sign Of:
Dear Jones-I give It up. l never
studied neurology. York Herald.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-08-24
Kindly Courtesy.

Ted-May borrow your umbrella this
afternoon. Ned?
Ned-Yes, unless it Is going to rsiI,.-
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-08-24
A Doubtful Compliment

Poet-Oddjobs, what do you think of
my latest poem?
Oddiobs-Splepdid, my dear boy,
splendid. consider it beautiful. But
then, you know, I'm no Judge.-New
York SIM.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-08-24
A Sacrifice to Science.

Our Gallant Boarder-May ask where
you are going, Miss Wendover?
Our intellectual Boarder-Certainly,
Mr.. Allibone: l am going after few
geological and botanical specimens.
Our Gallant Boarder-I shall be de-
lighted to so with you and carry the
basket, Miss Wendover.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-08-24

to the ground. But instead of putting
out the hight he created a vastly greater
one. The glass broke with an explosion,
and the oil was thrown over the mans
clothes. The tent and its occupant were
instantly ablaze.
A screech of fright and agony re-
sounded through the camp. The tent
famed high, and was gone like a fash
OF fireworks, leaving Wisns burning like
great torch. The oil had saturated his
garments and he was enveloped in fire.
The four temporary jailers ran hastily
10 the spot. Deuce Low was next. She
saw the burning man, and believed that
some mischalce of the intended rescue
had delivered her father from DURANGO
into this awful disaster. She had brought
the blanket from where VIII had dropped
it on leaving her. She desperately
wrapped the WOODEN cloth around the
fiery object. Then other hands helped
and the flames were smothered, but they
saw that the man was dead, and Deuce
as well as they recognized him as Aeck
Wisms. Her father Rugged her, for the
abandonment of his Jail had left him
free TO join the excited throng.
'oh, dadT' she cried, kissing him hys-
tericaIly, Il thought twas you"
We'll, you were saving your father
just the same" exclaimed VIII Brown,
'foryou kept this evidence Of his limo
cence from being burned, and he took
from the scorched hand of the dead
criminal the half burned bunch of coun-
terfeit notes.
There was no more Imprisonment for
Jack High and Old Jugg Brown. 4 few
days Later they We're discussing the SIN
-yaleEity of their escape and the COM
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-03-19
Hung It Up.

An awkward young countryman
from Vermont some years ago entered
Boston warehouse and asked for en-
ployment. He could do any kind OF
Chores" he said, and boosted of bis
strength.
STOUT as you are" said ore of the
clerks, "I'll give you so if you will
carry that bag of salt twice across the
store and never lay it down."
The Vermonter stood for a moment,
thoughtfully cycling the bag, and then
shouldered it easy enough, carried il
twice backward and forward, walked
up to rope with hook at its end,
which hung through a scuttle, and
hung the bag on the hook.
Mister" said he, 81 guess I'll
trouble you for that air ten. ! didn't
lay it down. hung it up"
The clerk rather unwillingly joined
in the laugh which followed, and hand.
ed over the $40.
That's better than chopping logs, "
the young man remarked, as he de-
posted the money in his wallet.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-03-19
ALPENA WEEKLY ARGUS.
MISCELLANEOUS.
AT THE BAL HAsoUE.

She had the ns.tsst figure and abe had the small
OF any woman in the room-and the sweetest satin
boot
Her arms were bare and dimpled aud her shoulders
Aud whom danced with her almost died "a
know her name,
Her hair was just mass OF gold. looped up with
flowers white.
Aud in the shadow of her mask her eyes shons
warm and bright;
Her hands were like white velveteen, aud pretty
near as soft.
Aud may Just as well confess pressed them close
and Oft.
She had the dearest shoulders and perfect love Of
waist,
And her bodice up the front and back with golden
cord was laced.
A ruby glowed upon her brow, just where the gold
hairs part,
And made sure the pearl of truth shone deep
within her heart.
We had tour waltses, walked square, and dane
ed polka, too.
And found out her eyes were dark instead Of ba-
by blue
In vain urged and plead and prayed that she, my
queen, would speak;
She only sighed and shook her head, as II I'd too
much cheek.
took her to the supper room, and found she fan
cied wine
Fried oysters, too, she ate as il she thought them
very fine.
Ham sandwiches, a salad, chicken-all seemed
quite treat,
And though was amazed, Il said $50 glad to see
you eat ~
Out on the dim veranda, then. we heard the dear
band play,
And watched the pale stars up above wink in an
other day;
The roses tainted on her breast, my happy heart
beat slow,
And not word was spoken till she turned as II to
go.
zone moment-one ~ I cried, and cast myself be-
fore her feet,
"Speak to me-iet me-see-thy .face-thy conquest
is complete
I know thy lips are sweet and warm know thy
soul is pure
Yet grant me my request, for love is bitter II not
sure !"
She paused she raised a trembling hand and cast
her mask aside
l looked upon her-and wept-I stormed-I swore
Il cried
'Arrah! B'gorra, sir" she said. "Me name is
Flanna-guni
Oh hope yelll ricolict me wbn ye want yer washin'
donei"
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-03-19
Variety Store,
DOCK STREET.

Headquarters for Crock
cry, Glassware, Lamp G foods
and Fruit Jars. Also in
stock, Velocipedes, Express
Wagons, Hammocks, Gro
quet Sets, Bird Cages, Tin
ware, Table and Pocket Cut
lery, Towels, Toweling, Oil
Cloths, Corsets, Laces, Hos
iery, Gloves, Notions, and
New Goods added every
week. We invite COMPARE
son of stock and prices.
LANGWORTHY e. HISER
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-03-19
A Generous Daughter.

He had been counting her for six
months without coming to the point,
when she turned on him one evening
with:
"Charles, isn't it awful for a girl
like me to have to worry over how /
shall invest s75,000?"
He thought il was, and three months
later they we're married.
all invest that $4,000 for you,
my DEAR" he observed day or two
after marriage.
"Oh, ! was afraid some one might
love me for my money, and I gave IL
to papa" was the artless reply.-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-03-19
Walked Up Efectually

A lethargic, dormant condition of the
liver is hardly to be overcome with dras
tic cathartics and nauseous cholagogues
A gentlier, pleasanter and far more efiec
tive means exists Of arousing the organs
when somnolent. This Is Hostetter's
Stomach Bitters, vouched for by the med
ical fraternity, tested by the public for
many years. A resumption by the hillary
organ of its secretive function, with the
activity attendant upon health, o return
to regularity of the bowels, and renew
al of digestion, are the no less happy and
certain results of using the Bitters sys-
tematically. Its laxative effect Is never
painful and drenching, Its tendency being
rather to perpetuate regularity than to
produce copious action. Malaria, ner-
vousness, debility. kidney troubles and
neuralgia 1t cures efiectually.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-03-19
Scrap of Paper saves Her Life.

1t was just an ordinary scrap of wrap
ping paper, but 1t saved her life. She was
In the last stage OF consumption, told by
physicians that she was incurable and
could live only short time; she weighed
less than 20 pounds. On piece of wrap
ping paper she read of DR.. Kings New
Discovery, and got sample bottle; II
helped her, she bought large bottle, II
helped her more, the bought another
and grew better fast, continued its use
and Is now strong, healthy, rosy, plump,
weighing 140 pounds. For fuller particu.
lars send stamp to w. II. Cole, druggist
Fort Smith. Trial bottles 10c at p. ]
Monaghan's drug store. A
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-03-19
Bucklen's ArnIca Salye.

The best salve In the world for cuts
bruises, sores, ulcers, salt rheum, fever
sores, letter, chapped hands, chilblains
corns, and all skin eruptions, and posi-
lively cures piles, or no pay required. II
Is guaranteed to give perfect satisfaction
or money refunded. Price % cents pei
box. For sale by p. ]. Monaghan, drug
gists. 944y1.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-03-19
Eupepsy.

This is what you ought to have, In fact
you must have 1t, to fully enjoy life.
Thousands are searching for 1t daily, and
mourning because they find 1t not. Thou
sands upon thousands of dollars are spent
annually by our people in the hope that
they may attain this boom. And yet II
may had by all. We guarantee that Elec-
trio Bitters, If used according to direc-
lions, and the use persisted In, will bring
you good digestion and GUST the demon OF
Dyspepsia and install instead Eupepsy.
We recommend Electric Bitters for dys.
pepsia and all diseases of liver, stomach
and kidneys. Sold at SOC and 81 at p. j
Monaghan's drug store.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-03-19
Club List.

Parties desiring to save money can
take advantage of the following club
list at this Office, for journals for
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-03-19


jineers scowled or LATED every time
she put in an appearance.
One injineer used to let of fear
full schreech O. the b'iler whenever he
seed her coming; but, arter the first
scare, she got used to it and tuck no
notice.
And once, when she was late, and
the conductor started the train just as
she and Lucindy Parks was about
climbing aboard, she threatened to sue
the company if it happened agin.
They knew she'd keep her word, so
they was all obliged to be on their
good behavior to her.
So she kept It up all the first year
or two. Her way was to get aboard
with her female companion, whoever
it might be for the time, and jest fix
herself comfortable near the stove or
at window, 'cording as it was sum-
mer or winter, and thar sit and knit
the whole journey through.
Shed carry one woman up, maybe,
and bring another one down, and at
last It came out that she was making
regular business Of il, with folks
that wanted to visit the town or coun-
try, they paying her half or quar-
ter the regular fare ON what was pass.
ed off ON the railroad folks for free
trip.
The company interfered then, and
said something about stopping IL by
law; but she lowed they hadn't slip.
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1890-12-31
The Montbretia,

GA Cape Bulb similar in habit to the
lxias, producing long spikes of flowers
somewhat resembling miniature Gladi-
oil. Hardy south of the latitude of
Washington, d. C. In the Northern
States it must be grown in cold frames
or greenhouses" However, it can be
satisfactorily grown when treated as
other Towering bulbs; that is, taken up
in the fall before severe frOsts and stored
in the cellar until spring. Two varieties
are offered by most forists-M. Pottsi
and M. Crocosmiaefora. Flowers a
bri ght orange. The latter variety has
base of petals sprinkled with purple.
In looking over nearly three years
numbers of The Mayfower find scarcely
a word concerning this charming and
beautiful Flowering bulb. have grown
it for the past two or three years. 1t
has proved one of the attractions of a
large mixed border. Admired by every
one, and always eliciting the inquiry as
to what variety of plant it was. Snowy,
very foriferous and it's numerous spikes
of blossoms radiating like an immense
fan. My method of treating it has been
to lift it in October, dry for few days,
and store away in sand or dry dirt, max
ing no division of the seasons increase,
unless to give root to a friend. In the
spring bring it from the cellar in the
latter part of March, pot it in suitable
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1890-12-31

SOME valuable hints will be found in
the extracts we make from "Suggestions
for Ornamental Planting" paper read
before the Ladies' Annex to the San
Diego Chamber of Commerce by C. R..
Orcutt. Our own fields and forests fur
nish some OF the very finest plants, vines,
trees and shrubs in cultivation; and by
employing them our surroundings can be
beautifully embellished, and with no other
outlay than time and labor. While
there are many desirable plants which
we must buy, our many desirablenatives
should not be overlooked, and many Of
them are justly entitled to the first place.
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1890-12-31
Suggestions for Ornamental Planting

Tread before the Ladies' Annex to the San Diego
Chamber of Commerce by c. R. Orcutt.l
Landscape art, that branch of horti-
culture that treats of the artistic plant
ing Of public or private grounds, is a sci
ence requiring peculiar qualities in the
student. The artist must be free of pref
udice either for or against any particular
tree OF plant. A geologist in public life,
by the ethics of his profession, is debarred
from possessing any interests in mining
properties lest his Judgment should be
Influenced by his personal interests. 1t
is also true that landscape artist
should not be engaged in any other
branch of horticulture lest he should I'M
consciously blunt his perceptive power.
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1890-12-31
THE MAGNOLIA.

Iere are Roses in the garden
rhoes crimson, pink and white.
CT ore Tall and stately Lilies r
Th Hiau IN colors fair and bright.
Fair @ noWers 81 form and color
ar and wonderful to 500
~ 6he Queen of all the RI,sso
"peS on the Magnolia-tree
And c me gorgeous, dropping MYRTLE
They, APE Jasmine's fragrant whito.
Wos tne glorious Oleander.
Yat t Hhu rous blooms of beauty BRIGHT
u :ne mowers within the garden IL u
Az or MA; and fragrant though thev aro
AIe ecilpsed--yea, far SURPASSED "ie'
SMagnolla's pure white star
Here the brilliant Trumpet Creonon
And ts IT'S radiant crimson buds.
Ti,, Cne elbow Jasmine twinin~
ri MS with fragrance all the woods.
'ioWers shine in all their beantv
For n tbe oI 1e Ialrest there is sought
VI Gne !oveliest of flowers
Magnolia's boughs are brouobt
N Wta wnlte blooms! In star-like beap+v
Emh1oyn, oul uarK green leaves We shine.
Siulems seen of all things hoiv
7, seem TO come from realms Giy;no.
mn nIa VT 1ancies Irvine around thee
Messan om heaven We seem to be
Messengers in snowy raiment
rloWers OF the Magnolia-trea
Fa @G vI b,n message that We carry?
All Cne lessons true and hoIv
=, NATURES God hath hid in Won
VI Gne great Creator teaches
WI n ollness and purity
mere the fairest of the f1owers
SHINE from the Magnolia .+roo
HILDA MUIRHEAD
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1890-12-31

HIS week a new contributor sings in
onarmlng verse, the praises of the Mom
nolla' one OF the most magnificent trees