davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1890-04-17

The lawyer had been badgering the wit
ness for some time and finally asked:
"Was any member Of your family ever
hungT
ayes, sir
"Ah, hal thought as much. Now, sir,
who was i'll"
Myself
yourself Do you mean TO say that you
have been hung and are alive to tell OF itf'
eyes, sir"
"Come now, no triflingl Tell the jury
what you were hung for, and how you hap
pen to be alive today"
"WeTl, sir, man was killed, and ! was
suspected of having committed the crime A
mob took me out, put a rope around my neck
and had Just hauled me up TO the limb OF q
tree. when some one in the crowd shouted
that the murdered man had been lawyer
They couldn't cut me down quick enough
was given banquet as the greatest pubic
beuefactor in the history of the town. st
Iouis Tifa
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1890-04-17

First Poor Young Mani noticed you
passed Young Golddust without returning his
bow
Second Poor Young Man-Yes, l always
cut him.
First Poor Young Man-Great swell, isn't
hein
Second Poor Young Man-Ees, and it's the
cheapest way know of cutting swell
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1890-04-17

In some parts of Texas the people live to he
very old An old man of 90, living quite
distance from the nearest town, requiring
some family groceries, sent his son, man OF
20 odd years of age. When the son failed to
show up with the provisions ON time his father
reproached himself by saying:
sThat's what comes from sending kid. -
Texas Siftings
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1890-04-17
A Mutual Attachment.

Mabel Cooking out the window at manned
cur,-Oh, how dreadful; who could have cut
off that poor dogs taill =.
Philosophical Charlie-Oh, the dog don't
mind it; he's used to it by this time.
Mabel don't know about that; before he
lost it he must have been strongly attached
TO il. -Philadelphia Press.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1890-04-17

Young Burglar lin the parlor)-Harkl /
just heard the lady upstairs tell her husband
there were burglars in the house.
Old Burglar-That's all right IL they
know we are burglars they'll keep quiet, for
fear Of bein' killed. was afraid they'd mis-
take us for poor relations, and yell for the
police New York Weekly.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1890-04-17

"What fruit is thatT
"Um-oh, well, how odd. Hi, Jimmy
what kind of fruit is thisf"
"Those are dates" =,
"They are dates, madam. l never could
remember dates New York Sun.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1890-04-17

Tommy's Naivete.

hoolmistress-Tommy, what did you dis
obey me forl
Tommy-'Cos thought you'd whip me.
What did you want me TO
whip you for'
Tommy-'Cos pa said he would If you didn't
and he hurts. -Harper's Bazaar.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1890-04-17

Fair Young Creature Cafter some recita-
tions)-Do you think | would do for Juliet
Manager tAnxious not to hurt feelings
Um-er-well, you'd look very pretty in the
tomb New York Weekly.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1890-04-17

d Grizzly-My toe hurt like thunder last
night.
Tootley-That sol What was the matter
with III
Grizzly-wasn't anything the matter
with It.
Tootley-Thought you said 1t hurt you.
Grizzly-No, it didn't hurt me. It hurt
that young dude that's been calling TO see my
girl West Shore.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1890-04-17

Mr.. Dolley-Oh, I've a pretty good story
TO tell. New one, too. Tells ~
Miss Amy twho owes Mr. Dolley onel-Hel
bal Capital always laugh when l hear
that story. just can't help it, It's such a
lrnnl ono -Yenowine's News.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1890-04-17

"Do you think marriage is failure Mrs
Choker," asked Mrs. Simeral of the minis
ter's wife
mo, indeed" was the reply "Mr Che
ker gives me his fees for pin money n-Har
per's Bazaar.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1890-04-17

The Duke of Mudbury-Now, Miss Man
haitian, I'll wager you know your Burke bet
ter than do.
Miss Manhattan-Ah, but dare say your
grace could stump me on Bradstreet. Life.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1890-04-17

"The idea of a man of your age beggng
Why don't you go to work.
go to workl Pshaw, sir! The idea of a
man changing his profession at my time of
life!n-Nunsey's Weekly.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1890-04-17

Miss Observation-Disclosures my, my s ,s.sv
Mrs Hitler. She moves in the PEST s emds Il
Mrs Yeast-Yes, suppose sue V mi
cheaper to move than to pay rent V"'>
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1890-04-17

"Are you Masonln asked one citizen OF
another.
"No, by the powers" was the unexpected
reply. "Ofm hod carrier. ashington
Canital
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1890-04-17

Visitor to Editor-Could you use an rl en,ire'
~ original poem on THE Narcotic " ecu, Geo. n.
Fdifor--f could, Of course, put as lons -
matches are so cheap don't see '"' "'e'-
Iinnincnits Magazlne.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1890-04-17
81 EA VI fk ELIZA M i'I'N'N''
Rob't BOughman. Master
ClylNIAN PlCIFIC STElNSHIP PREMIER


Leaves Farhaven for Vancouver stoppulg
nj Roche Uurbor. Wednesdays and Satur-
dnysat a. m. Returning leaves Vancouver
Mondays and Thursdays az p. M; arriving
al FairhaVen Mondays and Thursdays AT u
Leaves Tacoma for Fairhaven Tuesdays ana
FRIDAYS al y. M. arriving at "A. m. next
day.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1890-04-17

Dolliver--what peculiar book reviewer
Razzle Isl Did YOU ever notice how confused
his ideas seem to be-how rambling aud in
coherenti
Pompous-Yes; I've noticed it. (Struck
with an ideaD Perhaps he reads the books
he Observation-Disclosures Magazine.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1890-04-17

Ardent swain-sir, I adore your da"s sns a
a aruont Gacetious, yet sternl-Ahl yes, a
aoor Apropos of door let me see yo0 -
shrouQh that one. 90 Exchange
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1890-04-17

Pacific Navigation Company
STEAMER STATE OF WASHINGTON
Henry Bailey, Master

STEAMER STATE OF WASHINGTON
Henry Bailey, Master
Leaves Fairhaven at 5;30p. m on Mondays,
Wedue sdays and Fridays, stopping az sam
ish, Anacortes, Deception. Coupeville Utsao
lady. Seattle and arrives at Tacoma al $3.50
a. N. Returning leaves Tacoma az p; m
and Seattle az p. m, sundays, TUESDAY ;
and Thursdays, arriving at FairhaNen AZ
a. IN. - 49,.
STEAMER FAIRHANEN
c. f.. Bergman. Master
Leaves Fairhaven at $3.50 p m. Tuesdays,
Thursdays and Saturdays, stopping at sam
ish, Anacortes, Deception. Coupeville, LISA
lady, Seattle and arrives at Tacoma at 9'u
a. m. Returning leaves Tacoma at p; M
and Seattle at o p. m, Mondays, Wednesday,
and Fridays, arriving at FairhaVen az ga M
STEAMER sKAGIT CHIEF
George Barlow Master
Leaves Fairhaven at 1870 p. m. on Mondays
Wednesdays and Fridays, stopping az sam
ish. Anacortes. Deception, CoupeNille, tsa,
lady Seattle. aud arrives at Tacoma al s;A
A. M. Returning leaves Tacoma AT y; ~
and Seattle at 5 p. M, sundays, Tuesday,
and Thursdays, arriving at FairhaVeh a
I a. IN.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1890-04-17

Siubpen-Why do you always write with
blue ink, Scribhlerl
Scribbler tsadly)-lt's the way feel. Bur
lngton Free Press.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1890-04-17

johnny, you have been bad boy today "
"Yes'm.n
care you sorryr
"Yes'm.n
"Why are you sorry"
"Cos I know that the chances are about
seventeen to two that I'm goin' to get licked
Merchant Traveller.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1890-04-17
PUGET SOUND { ALASKA STEAMSHIP CO
STEAMER W. X. MERWI

Jos. Benson. Master
Leaves Fairhavcn at p. m. sundays We'd
nesdays and Fridays. making all stops afflN
mo nj seattle q "A, IN next day. Leaves Seat
lie al 10 a. M. arriving at Tacoma az y M
Returning leaves Tacoma Tuesdays Thurs
DAYS and Saturdays AT p. M. ana Seattle ~
D. M, arriving at FuirhaVcn at 10 "a. IN. next
STEAMER ELIZA ANDERSON
Rob't Boughman, Master
Leaves Fairhaven at 3 p. m. Tuesdays ana
Thursdays. making all stops. arriving NJ -
attic G a. m. next day. Leaves seattle al u
n, m, arriving at Tacoma at r. M Return
ing leaves Tacoma Wednesdays aud Frldny,
AT D. m. aud seattle at p. N. arriving az
EnirhaYcn at 10 a. IA. next day TN Satuf'
| Returning leaves Blaine AT 10 p. ~. arriNl ms
| nj FairhaVen at 3 n. m. and leaving for al
sound ports at : u. m. Sundays.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1890-04-17
East Fairhaven
The Whatcom County Investment Company, prOpretOS

contract has let which calls for half of this addition to be
cleared 10y June Isl.
On Aprl lst contract will be let by which the balance of the pro
perry will he cleared by July lSt
contract has been let the Improvement of Donovan Avenue TO
DE Fries Avenue bids will shortly he called for TO carry this
road improvement Whatcom Avenue in East Farl'avcn
For the present prices will remain before viz; One undI'd an
Fifty dollars lots and Two Hundred dollars for corners
Terms; Onethrd cash one-hii six months and onethiri
n twelve months at ten per cent.
The right advance prices without further notice r"
plats and full particulars call ON or address
The WhatCom County Investment Co.,
Harris Street, Fairhaven, Wash.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1890-04-17

nnumcralc saw mills. ,hngle mill, and other Manufacturing
establishments now running and in course of erection
Over ,r,, mile, Of the finest water in the world
owned by the Fairhaycn Land Company
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1890-04-17
FAST EXPRESS TO THE EAST

Leaves Tacoma. going east. at 6i5 q. M,
daily: arrive at Minneapolis or 81 faul DIV
p. M. third day -, ,,t.....,,
oils la All points east. south and southeast.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1890-04-17

The ncxa~ac supply of coal iron and timber on the Ska
Git River i, actually tapped by the Farhaycn Southern
Railway which thoroughly equipped and operating
with daily trains to Sedro
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1890-04-17

Electric Railway incorporated and under way
Mammoth steel and iron furnaces To be blown IN during
the of 1890
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1890-04-17
TO ALL POINTS EAST AND SOUTH
ST, PAUL AND CHlCA60

Il is the DINING CAR ROUTE. II
through NESTIBULED TRAINS every
In the year to
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1890-04-17

Nine Million, of Brick for buildings to be erected
in the early spring
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1890-04-17

The most complete and successful Are and ncandescen Ii
Plant in the State, Illuminating the City
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1890-02-07
A SHARP REASONER.
How Uncle silss HenISs "slung law All
Over an Attorney.

How Uncle silss HenISs "sIung law All
Over an Attorney.
c Silas Henlls called on a lawyer. In stat
ing the object of his visit he said:
Some time ergo, shortly after come
ter dis town. ! tuck up bod wild Miz
Hempsy, or widder lady. I want doin'
no work at dat time, an l didn' pay up
regl an after while dc facls come ter
my knowledge dat l owed de lady fifty
dollars She come ter me an said dat
ef I didn' git her de money at once
suthin' would happen, an thinkin' dat
it would be better Of suthin' did happen
| drapped on nv knees, so ter speak, an
tOle de lady dat / lubed her, an then
axed her ter he my wife. She greed ter
de propersition, an we wuz married. an
graduated myself dat one debt wuz
settled anyhow. Wall, whut do you
reckon has como tor pass now?"
You want a divorce now, I Guppose,
the lawyer answered.
'-Oh, no. sab; amt been thinkin'
erbout no divo'ce. De case now SLAMS
dis way now. sab. Ez tells you, when
/ married dc lady didn't hab nuthin'-
Wall, got a sort O. or start after wuz
married, an it want or great wlle till
wuz wuth putty avage sort or COW,
er chunk o or boss, or dray an CT few
dollars in money, but, sah, whgt has
come ter pass? Ny wife looks wild er
jealous eye on my property
"Does what?"
Looks wid er jealous eve, sab; wants
me ter pay dat blamed boa d bill"
well, why don't you pay ber?"
Il doan' feel like pGyin' her, an has
come ter AK ef you will sort o. gin me
some advice
''f you owe her, pay her. That's the
only way / see out Of it,
''Ah, hah, but hol' on er mint. I
owed Miz Hempsy, an now Niiz Hcnks
wants de money. I doan owe Nfiz Henks.
neber boa'ded wild her; Ibis wild her
Now, ef Miz Hempsy wants de money.
all right, but dar amt no Niz Hempsy.
Haw, haw!' he laughed. Didn't know
wuz sich er lawyer ez dis yere. White
pusson, git cuten de way ] ken fling
law all oher You. "-Arksnsaw Traveller
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1890-02-07
THUMB AUTOGRAPHS.

A Means of Identification which L. said
to Have No Equal
Two men OF science in two different
cOuntries-Mr. Francis Cation in En-
gland and NJ Bertillon in France
have lately recommended a means of
Identification which policemen and de-
tectives. with all their ingenuity, seem
never TO have employed. These gem
Iemen have observed that the human
thumb dipped in ink, in blood. In
black-lead or in any other loose ad-
herring substance and pressed upon
sheet of paper. leaves a mark which
is perfectly characteristic of the indi-
vidual
Mr.. Galton has remarked that no
two persons thumbs make the same
mark; the lines and expressions in the
skin, which make a series of wave
lines when pressed upon paper, are
never the same in two different indi-
viduals
1t is urged that this fact should be
of very great value in the sdministra-
tion OF Justice, because a criminals
thumb-mark would be a sure means
Va mummy 4A4S MIN. hO IldLISF NNdI
disguise he might assume. Hrr
II business man wishes to mako
use OF signature which is quite i'm
possible TO forge or counterfeit, he
has only TO dip his thumb in his ink
bottle and make mark with it in con
nection with his written name. No
other thumb will make the same mark,
and it would be practically impos-
sibie for any one to initiate this new
kind of autograph" with a pen or
other mechanical means.
'.In testimony whereof / hereunto
set my hand and thumb, the new
form of superscription may some
time in the future run, the seal having
by that time. perhaps, completely
gone out OF use, as It has now. except
on official documents and with fash
ionablc letter-writers.
The experiment with tho thumb
mark may be made by any one who
will take knife blade. hold it over
a lamp until IL is black with smoke,
allow it to cool. apply the thumb to
the black surface, and then press il
lightly upon a slightly sticky bit OF
paper. such as the back of a postage
stamp
Examined with a msgnifying glass
the differences in the thumb-marks OF
individuals come out very strongly
According to Mr.. Galton. thumbs
run in family groups, dividing them
selves. as it were, into seven or eight
distinct types or grand divisions; but
within these divisions the differences
are so marked as to leave no chance
for confusion Words.
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1890-02-07

their railroad fares, meals and lodg-
ings are paid. but in town the only ex-
penses they can charge are car fares
Tools and climbers are furnished them.
Frequently linemen are sick. Colds
and affections resulting from ex-
posure are their chief ailments. Often
in winter they have to toll all dav
under all the disagreeable conditions
that follow a sleet storm. Snow Is
not so bad for wires as sleet, nor as
unpleasant for the trouble men. But
when there are wind and sleet to-
gether, then the hardship is greatest
The first thing a lineman thinks Of
when he wakes up mornings is the
weather. Often, according to the men,
they will be reused at night by the
bowling Of a storm. They know then
that work will be hard on the morrow
II Is rather rough labor TO have to 90
up pole slippery with melting ice.
Often it doesn't pay 20 wait for the
sun TO dissolve the frozen lump that
fastens the wires, the insulating glass
and the cross-piece In one mass, as if
some evil genius had soldered them.
AT these times it's cold and dangerous
TO cling to a pole with ones legs and
gently cut and pry away the ice so as
TO prevent the electric current from
being diverted and running down TO
the ground 1t is tough, also. to have
TO grasp sleet-covered wires and pull
them through ones hands until a slack
stretch is taut again. But the men
work without much complaint, and
say they will put up with all these
hardships If only they can be spared
the fearful risk OF touching a death
dealing wire. N. Y. Sun.
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1890-02-07
MISNOMEREO MAiDENS.

a soiourn in New England has convinced NE Of
the fact
That female nomenclature there IS very inexact;
The girls met and hirted with had certainly no
To all the gifts and graces Indicated by their
names.
Faith johnson was the first met; thought
hernaIne so sweet, -
And she was very beautiful. accomplished, and
neat;
But Faith proved faithless snto me-she was
gay deceiver--
And in religious matters. too, she was an unoe-
heyer.
found Hope smith darling girl and wonder
fully wise,
And yet 1 could not understand her hopeless
kind OF signs, ID
For she was given to despond, and said when
e'er chaffed her
She had no hope Of happiness in this world or
hereafter.
Then later. Charity De KaIb ensnared my youth
ful heart.
She had a graceful figure and manner very
smart,
Yet IN her disposition envy was the reignins
feature,
And Charity turned out 10 be . sordfd, selfish
creature. a at.
The next met was Prudence Jones, q girl o,
eighteen springs.
But she WAS gay and gtddy and too fond OF cost
ExtravagaIce in dress no doubt was her beset-
ting sin; a. -.-r....
God help the man whose cruel luck that damsel
dear shall winl
7 had an Introduction TO Humility Burdette.
Whose vanity and self con oeft never can forget;
Distinguished Ger her sisters for insunerable
pride,
Humility was just the gift which she had been
denied!
then made the acquaintance Of Peace Robin
son, of Maine,
fiery girl whose temper mortal never could
restrain.
She used 70 get quite violent and tear her hair
and mine.
So marriage with that maiden I OF course had
10 decline -
The noKt OF the New England girls met was
Patience Brown,
The daughter OF o banker IN a Massachusetts
town; --F-. HHE
Her irritable nature, and the way she'd fune
aud fret. --
Induced 10 bid her goodbye without the
least regret.
The last met was Wealthy Green, and was
.- rather rash,
For proposed and married her, depending on
her cash: --. raEt
But after We we're welded had reason TO re-
pcnt, rr .T
For very soon discovered Wealthy wasn't
worth cent!
John 5 Grey, IN Texas Strings.
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1890-02-07
An Eve to Bnsines..

81 have just been up in Vermont said
Treasury clerk yesterday. 'The ma
tives have lost none of their cuteness
The town where / was stopping has
about 800 Inhabitants. One OF tho Sc
lectmeE runs hardware store, and two
weeks ago his dog was bitten by neigh
bors dog. IL was small enough mat
ter, but see what happened First, he
had the neighbor's dog killed; then he
raised the cry that the dog had been
mad. and had bitten other dogs. The
selectmen met and ordered that every
dog should be muzzled for forty days,
and the thrifty hardware man has sold
nearly 500 unuzzles st 81 apiece. Stsid
old family dogs travel around town with
leather thongs around their jaws, which
never closed on any thing more human
than beef bone. l saw one big mas
tif that had worked his muzzle of and
was Juggling it around in his mouth. -
Washington Post
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1890-02-07
..-.. ...rr EBENSBURG, PA. FRIDAY.

would have done without you? You
don't know how much happiness |
have had in these two years-how
peaceful. how content. / have been,
feeling that in this miserable world
one man seemed 10 be so worthy of my
confidence
He-H have given you happiness
4 am happy.
She-I would not have made you
stay tonight. but / could bear 1t no
longer. Three months without one
little tete-a-tete- All these drearv
weeks, and not grasp Of your hand.
hardly sound of your voice. Some
evenings l have felt that i would give
all the world If you would walk in at
the door and sit down beside me as
you used to do
He-And / would have given all the
world TO have been with you.
She-How could you pay SO much
attention to that other.
He-I did not. But what did ii mat
ter?
She-ltwas a reflection upon my taste
But you will come back to me just as
you were. won't you?
He-lf you wish TO be kind, tell me
not to come
She-You do not wish to come?
He-Yes, do. Edith. can you not
see that my friendship has long ago
ripened into love? 1 am jealous; /
suffer from every glance, every smile
you give to other men. have nothing
to offer you save an allegiance. Some
day, perhaps. I may be able TO offer
you name that is known; perhaps
our positions may be more equal But
it viii be death to me when that other
comes and wins you from me.
Shelf | insist
He-l can not refuse. But be kind
Give me your hand. say God bless
you" and let me go.
She-Stay q moment II / tell you
something-a secret--if tell you that
year almost ago papa came to me
one night and talked to me, and told
me-that-if had guessed Alright
and--you were to ask me to be your
wife-and if loved you very dearly
he thought ! might say-.Yes-'
He-And do you love me very
dearlyP
She-My darling. how the storm
rages-but 1t Is peaceful here, is il
not7-Peter Robertson, in the Argo-
naut. HF ~
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1890-02-07
MY MOTHERS HYMN.

My Mothers Hymn ] hear IL now
As through the trees above her home
The night wind whispering soft and low
Like angel music seems 10 come,
And watt upon my ravished ear
In strains as from the harps OF gold
And seraph voices sweet and clear
The hymn she sung SO Oft OF old.
How many times my hands have pressed
For her the throbbing organ keys
To that dear tune she loved the best
Sweetest Of sacred melodies
And as struck Wards" well loved chords,
far-or look came 10 her eyes,
Her sweet voice trembling through the words
How blest the righteous when he dies"
How blest the righteous, oh how blest,
When freed from earthly toll and pain
The spirit leaves the expiring breast,
With Christ forever more TO reign
SO fades n summer cloud away
So sinks the gale when storms are Ger"
So sped her soul. ~ close Of day.
OlOVed ones on the other shore
And when We laid her form away
No more 10 greet cur mortal eyes,
We sung u Ward shove her clay:
How blest the righteous when he dc"
-Essie NJ. Howell, In Good Housekeeping.