davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-08-25
FIGS AND THIsTLEs.

THE man whose praying Is all done on his
knees don't pray much.
THE strongest man on earth is the one who
can best control himself
THE more love a man has in his heart the
more he needs brains in his head.
IT a thousand times harder to be happy
with riches than it is without them.
THE man who has the courage to admit that
he has been in the wrong is not q coward.
GOD don't want his sheep to live on dry fod-
der. but good many OF His shepherds do.
THE best way to getrld of your own troubles,
Is to get interested in those of other people.
THE DEVILS sandals are SO constructed that
those who wear them can only walk down hill
THE man whose neighbors think he is honest
has DAYS occasionally when he almost doubts it
himself
If you can't find hot iron to strike. strike
hard enough and often enough to make the
iron hot
WHATEVER God does He does perfectly.
A lion is no more complete in organic structure
than gnat.
IF you can't get along well with your neigh
bors, don't buy dog and file his teeth, Get
more religion.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-08-25
MORE Fun THAN INFORMATION.
Wife-why, Thomas. you said you would

| Wife-Why, Thomas, you said you would
be home at O'CLOCK, and here 1t is after a
/ Thomas-Easy 'nough 'splalned, my dear.
rode up (hic) 'lectric car, an (hie) Electricity
| stopped my watehl-SVttngs.
t.Dou't you know, Emily, that il is not
nroner for YOU to turn round ana look after gen.
| tleman?''
| But mamma, was only looking to see ifhe
was looking to see If was looking. ''-Chattsr.
.'I suppose you think yourself very
spicy sneered the lump Of sugar addressing the
nutmeg.
yes do. ~ was the answer. ''but what pleases
me most there's not a nutmeg greater about
| The Jester.
Sunday School Teacher-Miss Fanny,
What are we to learn from the parable of the wise
| and foolish yirginsT
Miss Fanny (aged 10 years)-That we are always
to be on the lookout TOR the coming Of the Drde-
| groom.-SVthags
Young Mr.. Lummix-I am sorry you are
mot as happy as you were, Miss Ransom. sGm
Miss Ransom-Why, just now SAID was ~
happy as the day Is long.
.sItat1s what alluded to. The days are grow
| ,ny shorter, you know. Chicago later Ocean.
A TRAGEDY.
There lived in the city OF Worcester
man who could crow like roocester
But, rs he grew old,
He often caught cold,
And then couldn't crow as he urcester.
-LGacrenee AnsrtcaR.
general Raum should have come to me
to borrow that ss6 CO., " said distinguished Jour
nalist in the House press gallery,
'.Rats, - rejoined another. HE wouldn't have
got IT,
''0f course not, - was the confident reply; s.and
there wouldn't nave been any need OF an inyesti-
cation either. ~ Washington Star.
R-Take the hair of Hindoo
The nose OF Greek,
The mouth Of the English,
The complexion ofa German,
The height OF q Norwegian,
The feet Of Chinese woman,
The teeth Of an African,
The arm OF Belgian,
The leg OF an Italian GIRL
The eye Of Spaniard,
The grace ofa French woman,
And y0u wiz have IN American beauty.
-haz 0'Rsh.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-08-25
SOME PUMPKINS.
Pretty Tough Story TO Believe. But sena.
tor Hearst Will Vouch for Ii.

A Pretty Tough story TO Believe But senR.
tor Hearst Will Vouch for II.
ESPECIAL TELEGRAM TO sHE pIsPAroH.I
WASHINGTON, August A.-Mr. Gavin D..
High, press correspondent for california on
Wheels" now in this city, tells some very
strange stories of California, AMONG which is
the following: LAS an evidence of the wonder
full fertility of California soil" said Mr.. High.
s,might.be mentioned the disaster which lately
befell certain dairyman in our State When
he began to gather in his crop of pumpkins
traised for COW feed) some of them were SO
large that there was on the farm no appliances
large enough to get them on the wagon. The
farmer, therefore, conceived the IDEA of sup
plying the pumpkins TO the cattle without TAX
ing them from the fields He sawed hole in
each pumpkin large enough for COW to enter
and eat to her hearts content But one wet
day when two cows and a calf were in a large
pumpkin which they had followed out and
were using for a stable they got to kicking
around and rolled the door TO the top and then
the rain came in aud drowned them al"
$50 you see there are some disadvantages
about raising big things Now, they saw up the
largest pumpkins into cubic yard blocks and
store them away until needed for food. If you
see Senator Hearst you may ask him to oer-
roborate this incident He may not have seen
those particular pumpkins, but he raises some
nearly thst large on one of his own ranches"
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-08-25
HARRISON GOES TO CHURCH.
A Large Congregation Present, But the
President Shakes Hands With All.

A Large Congregation Present, But the
President Shakes Hands With All.
SPECIAL TELEGRAM TO THE pIsPATcH.l
CAPE MAY, August A--President Harrison,
wife and her niece, Mrs. Dimmook. were this
morning attendants of the Cold Spring Presby-
terian Church, which only last fall celebrated
its I75th anniversary. being nearly the oldest
church in New Jersey. The pastor, Rev. John
Landis, preached an elegant sermon from
Hebrews, vi, i, which the President said was
the best one to which he has listened this sum-
mer His appearance was unexpected, but
large crowd gathered before the services were
closed After the services the President
shook hands with all in the congregation. Mr.
and Mrs ]. X. Mckee dined with Congressman
and Mrs. ReYburn, of Philadelphia, at their
Columbia avenue summer cottage this after.
noon.
In conversation with your correspondent at
noon Mr.. Mckee said that the President would
probably go to Washington on Tuesday if not
on Wednesday, and that Immediately there
after the family would prepare for their de-
parture for Cresson. This means that they
cannot get away from Cape May before Friday.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-08-25
The Belgium Glass Workers.

From the Philadelphia North American.l
The arrival is announced at Millville, N. j..
of number of window glass-blowers who have
come direct from Belgium for the purpose of
working in one of the glass-making establish
ments at that place. It has not been shown
that these men came over under contract, but
there is strong presumption that they did,
and how the Custom House authorities at New
York. who are SO particular about ministers
and college professors and musicians, came to
let them in needs explanation.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-08-25

ONE of the interesting results OF the set
tlement of the elections bill is the disappear
ance from the Republican organs of those re.
marks about Republican towards" The al
legged towards have made the other fellows
back water.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-08-25
To Bonrd a War Shin.

To the Editor Of The Dispatch:
A young man wants to know to whom he will
apply to get on board United States man-of-
war cruiser. IGNoRAMUs.
PITTsBURG, August q
IAN order from the Secretary of the Navy or
from the commander of the vessel would give
you access. If you want to enlist apply at any
naval recruiting station.l
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-08-25
PROTECTION FOR AMERICAN BRAINS.
Wnshingtonians Appealing for the Passag &c
of the International Copyright Bill.

Washiugtoniaus Appealing for the Passage
of the Internatienal Copyright Bill.
ESPECIAL TELEGRAM To THE DIsPArcH.t
WASHINGTON, August A.-A number Of
well-known residents Of Washington have
united in petition to the House Of Represent
atives urging the passage Of the international
copyright bill which. 1t is said to be the inten-
ton of the Committee on Patents to call up
Tuesday next The enactment of such law,
the petitioners assert, would give q stimulus to
American authors. In the absence of such a
law American authors are declared to be sub
erature.
Among the signers are DR.. yelling, of Co
lumbian University, Librarian Spofford, Bishop
Keane of the Catholic University. Admiral
Porter, George Kennan, Profs. Newcomb,
Langley. Goode and Mendenhall, General
Greedy, DIR. Richards. of Georgetown Univer-
sity, General Boynton, Simon Wolf, Prof.
Alex. N. Belle, Garrick Henry. DIR. Swan B,
Burnet and DR.. N. s. Lincoln.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-08-25
The Mediterranean.
To the Editor of The Dispatch:

To the Editor Of The Dispatch:
Please inform Us whether the word Mediter-
Fanean (apart from the Mediterranean Seal is
used in the English language; also how that sea
received that name. ERNEST AND THOMAS.
DU BoIs, August %.
Derived from medfus, middle, and terra,
land. The word is now applied exclusively to
this particular sea- but formerly its application
was quito general in the sense of finland" A
place inland. remote from ocean or sea, can
be termed "mediterraneous"l
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-08-25

THE contest between General Bragg and
George W. Peck for the Democratic nomina-
tion to the Wisconsin Governorship goes on
apace. Each is endeavoring to convince the
farmers that he is the true and only Granger.
1t remains to be seen whether it is possible
for the Wisconsin grangers to reject Bragg for
a Bad Boy,
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-08-25

The success of the Baltimore and Ohio
railroad in improving its terminal facilities at
Chicago, as gwen in a special dispatch, is of
interest to Pittsburg. If the B. & o. will make
rates that permit the direct shipment of Pitts
burg coal to that city, all its past discrimina-
tions in favor of Hooking Valley coal, will be
forgiven,
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-08-25

TIE intimations that the Chicago Worlds
Fair is getting irretrievably into muddle over
the site question is Indignantly denounced by
the esteemed Chicago Nea0S. Our contemporary
asserts that there is no truth in such statements
by long sight but it is unable to say that any
site is yet in sight
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-08-25

well-feunded; but q contrary idea is presented
by the statement that the Chinese Government
has forbidden Korea to borrow s., 800 900 in this
country But this protection of American In
vestors by the Mongol empire will avail little
SO long as trust stocks are rampant in this
country.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-08-25
A WouderfuI Repre.eutatiou.

THE play began at in the morning and con-
tinued till $50 in the evening, with an in
termission between 1l:30 and 1 o'clock. All day
it rained at intervals; not heavy pour at any
time, but a gray sky and an uncomfortable
dr1zzle and cold wind. Nine cold wet hours
we watched the Passion Play and gave to the
weather scarcely thought at all. Interest
overbalanced all discomfort. Four thousand
people, half Of them with no roof but wet
sky, sat on wooden benches all that cold day
and nobody went out.
The Passion Play at Oberammergau is the
most wonderful impressive. beautiful and up
lifting thing ever saw. l had read good
deal about it before went, and had ex-
pectations, but the expectations did not touch
the reality.
In the first place. taken only on the artistic
side, the Passion Play is perfectly set" 1t is
true 1t is in q nttle backwoods village, five
miles from railroad and 80 miles from a city.
One would expect to find crude and primitive
condition of things. But no theater in Pitts
burg or New York or London can show scenery
so harmoniously fitted to the acts. or costumes
SO appropriate and graceful and beautiful.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-08-25

Mr.. HARRISON is reported from Cape
May to be quite fatigued. The appearance Of
a ticket for 1892 bearing the names of Blaine
and Rusk as an Endorsement Of the administra-
tion, is calculated to make the President very
tired.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-08-25

SENATOR HoAR, of Massachusetts,, and
Butler, or South Carolina, unite in testifying
that atmembers OF the Senate are temperate In
the use of liquors. If they could testify that
they are equally temperate in politics itWould,
be gratifying.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-08-25
A GROWING VILLAGE.
The First Church at hioxhum, Near Johns
town, Dedicnfed Yesterday.

ESPECIAL TELEGRAM TO THE DIsPATCH.1
JoHNsTowN, August A--That section Of
Johnstown know as Moxham is separated from
the main part Of the city by nearly one mile of
territory. which is not built up. The extension
Of the johnson works at that place. and its i'm.
munity from high water. has made 1t growing
village, which has more than trebled its popu.
lation within the past year. In consequences,
improvements are rapidly being made there,
and to-day the first church in the place was
ded,car ed with proper ceremonies. 1t was
built by the Episcopalians, and the exercises
were conducted BY the minister Of the First
Episcopal Church.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-08-25

Mr.. LODGE is said to have objected a
short time ago to having the Federal elections
bill known by any other name than the Lodge
bill. Since it has been shelved by the Senate,
however, he is understood to be content to have
it known as a mere Davenport bill
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-08-25
As to Bernard Reilly,

To the Editor Of The Dispatch:
Having seen something about some letters of
inquiry for one Bernard Reilly, wish to state
that my fathers name was Bernard Reilly.
He lived In Rockland township, and died In
1855. never knew much of my fathers fam
ily, 50 could not say ANYTHING about 1t, where he
lived and where he came from.
80. MRS. n. G. MAYS
RocKLAND. Venango county, August "a
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-08-25

The programme of business in Congress
begins to contemplate the reaching of vote
on the tariff bill and the beginning of the end.
The country will not be sorry to see the tariff
mill reach a point where it can creditably sus-
pend operations.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-08-25

WHILE Allegheny is taking steps to
become a city Of the second class. why not an
mex Pittsburg and the suburbs and make her.
self city of the first order?
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-08-25

The Nicaragua Canal Company is re-
ported to have purchased the dredging outfit
of the Panama Canal Company. Ii it proposes
to do dredging on the same style and scale as at
Panama it will be warning to the world to
keep Its money out Of that ditch.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-08-25
Legal Holidays In Pennsylysnia.

To the Editor OF The Dispatch:
VIII you tell us through your paper what are
the legal holidaysf We ask for information.
- SCHOOL GIRLS.
PITTsBURG, August 23
I'm Pennsylvania the legal holidays are: New
Year, Washington's Birthday. Decoration Day.
Fourth of July, Good Friday. Labor Day,
Thanksgiving Day. Christmas.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-08-25
Kansas Catfish i'm Luck.
From the Kansas City Times.

Kansas gets an average of aboat $4,000 a
year with which to stock her streams with i'm
ported fish. The only real good that can be
discerned as a result of the outlay is that the
catfish are little fatter than they used to be
before the appropriations commenced,
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-08-25

The radical wing of the Republican
party, which was boastlng that it had Quay
down, is holding him down in the style of John
Phoenix. with its nose firmly inserted be-
tween his teeth"
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-08-25
ParueIps ParIiameptnry Career,

To the Editor OF The Dispatch:
To decide wager, please state the date of
Parnel's first entry into Parliament 3.
PITTsBURG. August 22
He was elected for Meath in 1875. and repre-
sented that constituency until 1880. when he
chose Cork, representing which he still sits In
the House of Commons1
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-08-25
ANXIOUS TO PUT ON CITY AIRS.
Several Gentlemen Who Are Aspirants for
the MayoraIty Of Nc Keesport.

the mayOraity oil NC heesport.
ESPECIAL TELEGRAM TO THE DrsPArcH.I
MCKEEsPoRT, August A-This place is rap
idly moving toward the adoption of city cloth
ing Eight wards have been demanded, and
the day is now nearing when the city chartef
will be voted for.
In the meantime the following gentlemen are
aspirants for the position of its first Mayor:
Thomas Tillbrook. the present Burgess. and a
Republicans; s. Z. Carothers, ex-postmsster
and Republican; w. German, q Republican,
and ]. b. Shale, ex-postmaster, and Demo-
crat. They are already putting up their fences
in the best possible shape.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-08-25

paign slsnder evil, that public men who
can stand investigation should promptly
take up the challenge of attacks on their
record when it is made by responsible par
ties. When the parties are irresponsible of
course no more answer is required than to
the barking of ours.
e In this connection 1t is necessary to cor
rect the Herald's political history. No
person of standing ever asserted that Grant
was "a whisky thief" and the slander was
never used bv any one in a campaign, for the
reason that the whisky ring exposures came
after Grants last candidacy. They left little
doubt that Grants attachment to his friends
resulted in one Of his personal subordinates
being mixed up in that corruption, but made
no impeachment OF the Generals individual
integrity. No responsible authority ever
assumed the charge that Garfield was "a
De Golyer pavement fraud" but, like the
Morey letter forgery, that sort of campaign
trickery was conducted anonymously. The
charge that Tilden lodged his income taxes
was hardly of a criminal nature; but such
as it was it was made responslbly, ana the
Democratic leader evinced the same disin-
clination to have it brought into court that
is shown by some of our present political
lights. 1t is a legitimate conclusion from
the trouble which was taken to squelch the
case that the Sage of Gramercy Park omitted
to return for income tax the big pile that he
made out of the Fort Wayne deal, Just as a
good many other rich men have lodged
their taxes.
These charges, like the greatbulk of cam
paign SANDERS were different in character
from assertions of malfeasance in Office spe-
cifcally made by responsible parties, or,
where they took that character, it was in
cumbent upon the men who could stand in
vestigation to stop the mud throwing by in
viting their accusers into the courts.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-08-25
The Exeninn Star

To the Editor Of The Dispatch.
viii you please inform me what star 1t is
that shines SO brightly in the west until about
8 o'clock in the evening. H.
CoNNEAUT. o., August %.
Mercury is the brightest Of the evening stars
at present
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-08-25

THERE is beginning to be floating sus-
picion among Republicans that Senator Frye's
slashing speech cut the life out of the elections
bill.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-08-25

THE reports that China is unfriendly to
the United States have been supposed to be
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-08-25
The GREAT TARIFF QUESTION

al TELLyou, the affairs of this country will
never be run right until women take
hand in 'em," said q newly married citizen.
1.-THE other after moon fellow got me into . dis
cussion over the Mckinley bill, and I went
home to supper feeling hot In the course OF
the evening my wife remarked, very sweetly
and insinuatingly-
"'John. dear she said, 4 saw an only too
lovely piece of goods to-day, and I intend to
order dress OF of it tomorrow
"Iknew that meant fifty at least, but said
nothing for some time. 1 had an idea though,
and finally decided to risk it.
"T wish that chap would quit bothering me
with that KcKinley BILL 1 said, he worries the
life out of me with it,
"'Oh, pay it, John, dear, pay itr said my wife.
Don't let it worry you any longer! Pn wait till
next month for my dress, Pay it, won't you,
dear?'
Ipromised to pay it the very next day. and I
tell you right here that unless we have q wom-
an at the helm pretty soon, the ship of state
Is bound for the rocksr'
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-08-25
TERMS OF THE DISPATCH.

TOeTAcR FREE IN THE UNITED STATES
DAILY DISPATCH, one Year. 90
DAILY DIsPATCH. Per Quarter 100
DAILY DIsPATCB, One Month. 70
DAILY DISPATCH, including sunday, year. 1000
DAILY DISPATCH, including Sunday, sm this. go
DAILY DISPATCH, including Sunday, lmonth 90
SUNDAY DISPATCH. One Y Year,.,,,,........... 25O
WEEKLY DISPATCH, One Year............... j .
THR DAILY DISPATCH is delivered by carriers at
JIeents per week. or including Sunday edition,
st20 cents per week.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-08-25
OUR SHORT STORIES.
OLD JENNY.

allow long do mules liver" repeated the Ma
= jor, as he placed his feet on the railing
of the hotel veranda and blew into the air,
slowly and refectively. vast cloud of fra
grant tobacco smoke. swell. 1 don't know; L
never saw mule die and never saw a dead
mule, but, for all that, I'm hardly prepared to
say that they live forever"
"Tell US about Colonel Waterman's mule"
broke in the doctor, extracting beautiful
meerschaum from its case. II think none of
the others have ever heard that story. and I
assure, you, gentlemen, it is as good as fish
story"
"Yes. tell US about IT," sang the rest of the
fishing party in chorus.
"Well," said the Major. fitting his chair
back until his cervical vertebr8 rested COM
fortably against the side of the hotel, while his
feet still hung over the railing of the narrow
veranda, sits not much of a story and its
true. At the beginning of the war Colonel
Waterman. wholiyed on one of the finest PLAN
rations in Virginia, had an old mule by the
name of Jenny. AS the Colonel had an oppor-
tunity to cell the animal at a good figure he
did so. To be sure, Jenny had been in mis-
family 30 many years that she seemed like a
member of it, but $50 Is not to be sneesed at
for an ole mule, SO the Colonel put all senti-
mental feelings aside and let her go for $780,"
THAT was just before the warT querled the
landlord, standing in the door.
"Yes, just before the war;" continued the
Major. "In the exciting times which followed,
of course old Jenny was entirely forgotten.
About ten years after the war was all over the
Colonel concluded he would like young, lively
mule. After great deal Of experimenting he
bought one that just suited him. Among other
good qualities it looked just as old Jenny did
when she was young. The ColonePs son Frank
happened to come home on visit a day or two
after the purchase. The morning after his ar
rival he wandered out to the stable to see the
new mule. In about ten minutes he returned,
and asked: Father, what did you pay for that
muleF
"Seventy-fve dollars" replied the Colonel.
Frank burst out laughing and exclaimed,
That's just S45 more than you sold her forP'
And cure enough, the Coloneps young mule
was none other than old Jenny"
II never thought to ask you." said the doctor,
relighting his pipe, whether Jenny is still
alive or notf'
''She was year ago." replied the Major
promptly, "but was beginning to look little
weary. There's no way" he added, moral
izingly, ''of telling the age Of either mule or
q niger"