The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1890-09-07

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Advice TO Emperor William on starting
Newspaper.
Written FOR the Times.

Mr.. William Hohcnz0llern, Emperor Of Ger
many.
Dear Bul.-It is currently reported tha
YOU contemplate starting "a daily paper il
Berlin. Let's give you one word Of advice
Don't.
Pardon me. should introduce myself q
YOU. / am Colonel Claiborne Chew. of sleepy
Hollow. AccOmac county. Va, a man o
many experiences. particularly 100 starting
newspapers. Therefore, ! write whereof
do know.
Already there are enough newspapers ir
Berlin. in fact TOO many. reckon. t0 have
things entirely comfortable for YOU. nn
cannot. therefore, announce in your cdilora
salutatory that your paper j. intended o.
ill Il lOng-lcli want, unless That want is if
your pockets
Berlin is very conservative. And it re-
quires more patience than Won posses ~ SET
"a new newspaper upon safe foundations ir
"a conservative community. You Will find
two classes i'm particular contend against
those whose fathers took the older papers,
who have read them constantly for year,
and years. ana who Will not road any otnc.
paper no matter how much better it may b,
lhan the old one. and those who won't read
il because il is new.
These two lasscs. who never see the pl
per. together with those individuals. who
are constant readers OF the paper Ol
the bulletin boards and Of that paper Only
will be your most severe critics. They viii
discover all kinds of impcrlecti0ns IN your
paper. and Will not hesitate 10 have them
brought 10 your attention.
such obstacles are but transitOry. The
uncOnyprtiblc may Doe left TO their fate
80. Ir.. f...a
the paper ceases TO bee a stripping. But dee
constant annoyance i'm the intervening time
is very wearing on the nerves. They pale
into insigulficance. though, when You arc
made 10 face the stern realities OF an editor.
There may be occasions when YOU cam
not resist the inspiration TO give free vein
10 your pen-ii you will pardon the mixing
of metaphors. Don't be assured, however.
in advance that every body will regard your
inspiration in the same light a. YOU do.
one of the most thanklcss and unsalisfaC-
tory tasks is TO attempt to set the worll
aiirc with your pen. | have tried 10 do D.
several times. No general fire alarm naS
yet been sounded.
Coming down 10 the real work OF an edi-
tor, here are some more o. the difficulties
y0u will have 10 face. Your desk will be-
Hooded with articles by wOuld-be Ju-
lieye that personal feeling controls your de-
cision about the merits of their productions.
and by a thousand and one applications for
places upon your stan, necessarily limited
in alumber, unless you are running the
paper for pleasure or as an eleemOsynary
institution. You Will learn that a place J..
not always open for man on paper, no
matter how skilful or learned he may be-.
70 answer all your correspondence truth
fully, and with regard tor the feelings Of the
writers, will be a strain uponyou
Then YOU will have 10 become thoroughly
entangled in the mysteries Of proOl-reading,
type-setting, where, by reason OF obscure
the highest flights are some
time changed TO narrowing iancies, double
ck-actiOn-autOmatic-pe riecang presses,
galleys, forms, stones. takes, dupes, and
devils.
The last, dear Bill, is not D ofanity. but IL
YOU are constantly interrupted while YOU
are writing a heavy and learned leader re-
curing thought and attention by the jang-
ling Of the telephone bell. and If in answer
10 the call YOU are requested 10 solve some
obscure cOnundrum, 10 settle a bet, or 10 an
nounce the baseball score, YOU viii be in
clined 20 be prOlane.
The interruptions during the day will
come from friends who drop in % borrow an
exchange. to offer advice rs 10 the best
method Of conducting your paper. OF 10
knock YOUR pet theories into smithereens.
They are not busy, and Of course you never
will be busy after YOU have reviewed the
work Of all your departments, made proper
suggestions, settled all your correspondence,
planned for the future, and managed 10 get
time TO eat your hasty meals.
might 20 into more minute details Of the
dire troubles which threaten YOU. But they
might weary you. Let me close this short
letter by advising you, unless you are in
search Of real hair-curling excitement, just
TO remain an emperor and continue in your
role OfCZar-kissing, and il you wish TO have
anything to do with newspapers edit them
Is does your distinguished Russian cousin
BY censors. | am sincerely yours,
COLONEL CLAIBORNE CHEW.