The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1890-04-17
he MARRIED FOR LOVE.
Varying Fortunes Of the Most IN
lucky Fellow Alive.

Varying Fortunes of the Most Un-
lucky Fellow Alive.
Mr.. Franklin William Lee was nn-
doubtedly the most unlucky fellow
alive, according to his own ideas. Not
that any thing very dreadful had ever
happened, but an endless succession of
petty misfortunes followed him through
life, and made him thoroughly misera-
BILE about half the time.
When q child his toys were always
broken. through no fault OF his own, Just
as he began to enjoy them. II he planned
to go anywhere, rain or snow prevented
or he became i'll or something happened
AT school he was always being punished
for some other boys misdeeds. and fall
ing into disgrace in various ways When
youth, II he went for drive, the
buggy broke down or the horse ran
away. When the sidewalks were icy he
was sure to fall down and make a spec
tacle of himself on the crowded pave
ment. When he invited pretty girl to
the theater, he must needs write to his
tailor or some creditor and send each
note to the wrong destination. At a
party the most disagreeable and ineli-
gible partners invariably fell to his lot
In short, wherever he went and what
ever he did. Franklin William Lees
abominable luck followed him like the
ghost of Banquo, and turned every Joy
Gus occasion into one of bitterness and
grief.
Accordingly, when Franklin William
was about to come into possession of a
snug fortune by the death of an eccen-
trio uncle, he was perfectly prepared to
find misfortune even In this. Being of
an emotional turn of mind, the unhappy
young man would have torn his hair
If it had not been cropped so closely
when he heard the provision of the
aforesaid uncle's will. which stipulated
in no measured terms that he should
marry before his twenty-fourth birthday
or forfeit every penny Of the fortune.
As Franklin William was an orphan
who had just lost his patrimony through
the failure of bank-the browning
stroke of his ill-luck-this conditional
fortune seemed not only attractive but
absolutely necessary. The deceased
uncle had never married but was by no
means averse to matrimony, and had
resoluteiy maintained that every real or
fancied affection of his life resulted
from his early disregard of the Scriptural
assertion that it is not good for man to
be alone. He had been repeatedly
heard to remark that every young man
should marry upon attaining the age OF
twenty-one, and it was even rumored
that he favored having a desert especi-
ally set apart for bachelors. where they
should dwell until brought to their
senses. Finding that his nephew had
already attained the age of twenty
three, however, the generous uncle
kindly stretched his views and his will
sufficiently to give the young gentleman
six months of grace and then died con-
tent with great hopes for the result.
After Franklin William had become
fully satisfied that there was no way of
gaining fortunes favors without matri-
mony, he sought his boon companion.
Mr.. Lorenzo Hops, disinterested
young man OF slender purse, who was
obliged to live in very dingy, con-
tracted lodgings in order to dress styl-
ishly and maintain certain position
in the society of the hourishing town
where the friends dwelt. Mr.. Hops
received Franklin William effusively
and the latter related his predicament
without delay.
Its just my luck" he concluded,
tragically. .'Ican't even enjoy fortune
like any other man. Yes, it's just my
luck all oyer:'
And very good luck I call it, said
Mr.. Hops. stroking his tender mus
tache. Its thing any ono but you
would jump at. It's not such mis-
fortune to marry. is it? Especially if
you're rich in the bargain"
but I'm not handsome. I'm not inter-
essing and ruin every thing | touch, y
cried Franklin William, woefully. I'm
regular Jonah"
70, no, you're not" cxpostulated Mr..
Hops.
'.Yes am. ] never 60 on a pleasure
PARTY that something doesn't happen.
Why, the last time went to the theatcr.
panic, and Miss Simpkins and were
nearly smothered And the last hop |
went to, didn't | step on Miss Jones'
dress while Waiting and tear half the
train off?"
That's true" admitted Mr.. Hops,
shaking his head.
EVERYBODY knows I'm forerunner of
calamity" said Franklin William, in
despair. And now I'll lose all the
money because nobody'll have me. What
woman would ever feel safe with such
IN unlucky fellow for husband?'
Lots Of EN-" responded his friend.
keep up your courage and don't be SO
modest. Well fix things. To begin
with; let your riches be known and Gu,
. dash in society"
As Franklin William was not averse
to this plan, he thanked his friend and
went out feeling trifle better. After
this he looked upon every young woman
he knew as possible wife. and tried
vainly to fix upon some fair damsel
from whom he might learn his fate. A:
the general belief was that he had
already come into his fortune, he soor
became . favorite everywhere, and
nearly beggared himself in the attempt
to shine as man of fashion. But the
weeks and even the months passed or
without any result, although Franklin
Williams misadventures were as numer