New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1890-12-10

how much l can get to do"
Foreign Agitator-"Slave Slave!
You are only slave. My mission to
this country is to form an organiza-
ton to
American Mechanic-aI can't stop
to talk now. must get around
with my deposit before the bank
closes. Puck.
Peculiar CollateraIS.
Sam Johnsing-Say, niggah, can't
you lend me two dollahs for a few
days?
Uncle Mose-I mout do hit. but
what security am yer gwinter gimme
dat yer don't skedaddle jes as soon
as yer has got de money?
Sam Johnsing-What s'curitvl Tie
glib you as security my sacred word
OF honor as a gennerman and pair
OF ledder brltehes almos' as good as
new.-Te1as Siftings.
Something Unprecedented.
Ethelinda Handing her mamma a
letterl-Robert has proposed at
last.
Mamma latter reading it)-You
are mistaken in your beliefthau Rob
ert is a college graduate.
Glow do you know, mammal"
From the fact that e. cry word in
his letter is correctly spelled. -
Pittsburg Chronicle.
A WomanIy Answer.
Sophomore heard one of the
girl undergraduates making a truly
womanly answer the other day.
Junior-Indeed?
Sopomore-Yes: the professor in
astronomy asked her why the earth
goes round the sun.
Junior-whata answer did she make?
Sophomore - because. - New
York Sun.
A Young Lady Who Was Posted.
First young lady examining di-
rectory in a drug store)-I cannot
find the name in this directory, Ethel.
Second young lady-No? What
shall we do?
First young lady-Let us go to
Hudnut's drug store and examine
their directory. They keep a better
stock of everything.-New York
Mercury,
Misunderstood.
West Shore: Deaf old lady Tin
street-car accident): sob, sir, can
you tell me what has happened?''
Pious gentleman: pray calm your
self, madame: remember that a kind
heaven bends over ALL" Deaf old
lady Ito female companion): MAR
tina Jane, what's that old fool say
in to me about mems overalls?"
On a Business Basis.
cit was brave act. young man."
said the grateful father, with deep
feeling. "Atthe peril OF your life you
rushed into the burning building and
saved my daughter. How can | ever
repay your
Would a couple Of dollars be too
much" suggested the brave rescurer.
New York Mercury.
In Society.
Daughter-Mamma, what was the
name of the new plant we got from
the florist to-day?'
Mamma-Really daughter, I don't
know; but | should think you could
find it in the Encyclopaedia Botanni-
ca that the bookseller sent up yes
Observation-Disclosures Star.
His Advice.
Du Sappy-Ah, doctah, I am aW-
FULLY afwaid that |, aw, might get
poisoned some, aw, day. What
should |, aw, do if l accidentally
dwank some wuff on wats7
Doetor-Run out into the yard.
But, aw, Whatfoah, doncherkno?'
$50 as not to die in the house,
Lawrence American
His Falling.
'Why don't you join our athletic
club. The initiation fee is only S1Oo
and the monthly dues only S1O.''
II am afraid 1 could never be an
athlete. .
"Why not-shortness of breath2n
s'Ah, no; merely shortness of funds.
Texas Siftings.
His Angel Wife,
Wife Before we were married you
said l was an angel, but you never
say SO HOW.
Husband (tenderly NO, darling
but wish you were one.-W ashing.
ton Post.
Women in the. Case.
He-"That man yonder was once
the Wealthiest man in the Mormon
Church.
She That broke him2''
He"A sudden change in fashions
-Munsey's Weekly