The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-08-03

should use black frscrackers on the
Fourth of July as far south as Bleecker
street.
When calling on any one at an hotel,
send up your card and wait for reply.
If the servant returns with the reply
that the gentleman Is not in, do not lose
your temper, or throw rubber cuspl-
dore through the mirror, or say bitter
things, but go on about your business, if
you have any, and if not, advertise and
get some at once.
Senator Jones, of Nevada, who once
in a great while goes over to San Fran
cisco to buy his groceries for the year,
stops at the Palace hotel while there,
and has pleasing device for obtaining
rest and soothful calm, unbroken by the
uncalled for calls of people who wish to
drop in and expectorate from his win
dow. He registers, and a room is as
signed to him by the handsome CLERK AZ
the Palace. This number is placed OPP
posite his name in the book. People
come in, take fresh toothpick, steal
few matches, scratch the calf of one
limb with the shin of the other, look
along down the page deliberately, so as
to keep paying guests from registering,
and say: Hello! Jones is here. will
send nay card up to him and see how he
is behaving himself" The card is taken
UP and showed under the door, for Sena-
tor Jones is not in that room. That
room is kept to store cards in. But he
is not in it. Sometimes he gets almost
a room full of cards, he says, if he stays
there long enough. He has a better
room, which he occupies. Sometimes
real friend or constituent calls, and fool
ishly sends up his card to this lay figure
room of Jones', and aftsrward when
the senator meets him it affords him
great deal Of pleasure to regret his alb
sence at the time Of the call.
In attending a funeral, and while
viewing the remains, 90 not lay the
back Of your hand on the face of de-
ceased to satisfy yourself that life is ex-
tinct, unless he had called upon you dur
ing life.
Do not call upon persons in reduced
circumstances wearing a great display
Of wealth and characterization.
Possibly, on second thought, it would
be better not to call upon them at all.
They might shock you by openly indulg-
ing themselves in habits of industry.
Do not make a display Of consulting
your watch. Especially, if making
first call on one Of the nobility, do not
ostentatiously open the rear Of your
watch to show the name of the factory
or the glitter of the works, and do not,
while visiting among titled people, and
while the family are at prayers in the
morning, blow kernel of wheat out Of
your key and wind your watch with
deafening report. There is nothing that
will tempt God fearing duke to come
down from the front steps of the throne
Of grace and brain his visitor with a
frozen cucumber quicker than this.
Let us at all times try to be respectful to
others, especially If there's money in it.
If YOU are hostess, and engaged in
entertaining the nobility of One Hun
bred and Fifty-eighth street, do not jump
up hurriedly and run to the barn the
moment you hear hen cackle. 1t is
rude to your visitor and is an implied
insult to the veracity Of the hen.
If you are guest at the house of a
neighbor who has borrowed some of your
pie plates for the occasion, do not, in Il
fit of rage or dependency over your
failure to converse fluently with the
pastor, call attention to the fact that
these are your pie plates. tits about the
detroppist thing you could well do.
This seasons epitaphs will be briefer
than usual, and run more into plain or
Gothic extended letter. The hand with
| forefnger extended upward will not be
used SO much this summer, as in several
instances this style of stone has hereto
| fore been upended, or turned end for end
rather. by miscellaneous people, thus
conveying a different impression on the
public mind from the one intended as to
the general direction taken by deceased.
1t is still de rigger to say