The Helena independent., 1890-12-05
USEFUL IN THE HOUSE.
Mans Anomalous as Well as Para
doxical Position in the
Household.
6erviceable in q Prohibitory Sense
When Tramps Arc Out
In Force.
Experience of John Grumlfe, Who Could
Do More in One Day Than His
Wife In Three.

experience OF John Grumlie, W NO OOuAu
Do More in One Day Than His
Wife In Three.
Mans position in family, while anoma-
lous from one point of view. and apparent
ly paradoxical from another, is neverthe-
less one of considerable imDortance-unless
he himself ordains it shall be otherwise
and as factor of success it is, as rule.
indispensable, says the Washington Star. If
good for nothing else, as many are, he is
serviceable in prohibitory sense against
the invasion of tramps or foragers with
burglarious intent pretty much as stuffed
scarecrow lends deception to the
vision of predatory birds with weaknesses
for barnyards and chicken roosts. It is as
the man of the house, head Of the family
indoors, that his position is anomalous.
He is. or rather is allowed by the shrewd
partner of his fortunes, his feelings and
his fame to suppose he is, the sonrce from
which all power and authority emanate,
while it is almost certainly the case that
he holds the mastership of domain simply
on suffsrance-that he is vheedled without
his knowing or saspecting it into having
done exactly what somebody else other
than himself conceived and wanted done.
To hear most men talk of housekeeping
and domestic affairs one would imagine
they knew it all, and that it is mere child's
play instead of one of the great arts of life.
Now, the perfect housekeeper-never of the
masculine gender-has a state to govern
her laws are born of just necessities as
momentous to her work as those of political
&r~~, ~ H.
success. She is in fact queen in her do
MAN, and her authority should extend to
the uttermost parts thereof. If she is
merely secretary of state, prime minister to
her husband, who can know but little of
the exigsncies of household affairs, and
merely guesses at the superficial methods
by which he conducts them, there can be
no housekeeping at all worthy the name; it
le merely getting along, and that's all.
Those men who feel called upon to
assume the duties belonging to their
wives-including the management of
servants generally succeed in making a
pretty mess of it, and getting their home
unable to extricate themselves from, and
then blame 1t all on the women folks. It is
curious fact that such men are almost in
variably small in stature, with thin. piping
voice, fierce in countenance and cyclonic in
the exhibition of authority. s-#F ~,
but of kind with others who underesti-
mate the volume of housekeeper's work
and overestimate their own understanding
Of the principles involved, They generally
think it very strange that little as there is
to be done there should be such fuss about
doing it; that If they had it to do it would
all be done up brown by noon every day
and all that sort Of thing. They are coun-
terparts of John GrumIie, he of whom we
read in an old Scotch ballad:
John Grumlie swore by the light O. the moon,
That it ehs oo9ed Sn h
Than his wife could do in three.
So Mrs. Grumlie, as the ballad goes,
caught the bull by the horns, SO to speak,
and exchanged places one day with cannie
John, leaving him while she went to the
field with the plow to dress the children in
all their gear. to ''resl the tweel" she had
spun the day before, to turn the malt lest
the beer should spoil and to watch the hens
for fear they should lay away. These four
simple things. as it was he, we're all she
would ask. Well, he did dress the children,
when he got through with them, but he for
got the malt and the beer was lost, which
frieved his innermost soul. He endeavored
to sing aloud merrily as he reeled the tweel,
but never once thought of the hens until his
wife came in at nightfall, and what sorry
pickle Mr.. John found himself in. No won
~OA
ance he wanted to resign his housewifery,
but the sharp old lady pretended to be sat
isfed with and willing to stick to her bar
gain. OF course she felt like humping him
over the head, but she didn't; she let him
of with Just enough grace to keep his spirit
OF self-adulation barely above the freezing
point There are great lot of John Grum-
lies in the world now who might have fol-
lowed to good effect the counsel of the wise
old man who advised his son: when thou
art counting, my lad, keep thine eyes wide
open; when thou art married keep them
half Shut
The meddlesome man about the house,
especially with the hired help-is not
80 scarce as to be curiosity, but. on the
contrary, is very numerous individual.
When any ill-feeling happens to exist be-
tween mistress and maid he is just the fellow
to sit by and quietly enjoy a state of affairs
he claims would not have been possible un-
der his personal administration, though
there has possibly never been an instance
when the man of the house has had the
control OF hired women where they either
have not been complete masters of the sit
uation or rebelled openly against his direc-
tlons. How could it be different? What
outdoor vocation to follow and absorb his
time, know OF the Thousand and ono small,
but at the same time important household
duties that must be looked after. No
more than housekeeper is expected to be
conversant with the way in which luwyer
tries his case Or physician prescribes for
his patient. The worst of all drawbacks to
housekeeping is the man who is continually
finding fault with the servants, and en-
deavoring to force the execution of his
ideas upon the better Judgment of his wife
or the house-keeper. There is probably
only one time of his existence when
man has precedence as housekeeper,
and that is when the housekeeping
OF newly married couple is
in chrysalis state and has not sufficiently
advanced to wear away the novelty of the
thing. While this novelty lasts the recent
~ made benedict is the center around
which all things revolve. His comforts, his
likes his preference in eating, his ideas
about the servants. and every whimsical
notion are consulted until he is in a fair
way to be spoiled-and perhaps that lies at '
the bottom of much Of the trouble with |
him in after life. The length of time all |
this lasts, however, varies, but it may safe
" be predicted that those are exceptional
in which there ia not aftar |