Wichita eagle., 1890-03-14

saloon in Kansas. From a street point of
view Mr. Kelly could Toe excused by on ar
| gument OF innocence. but from an alley
perspective he is one of the biggest liars on
| earth.
1t has bean decided that the state capt.
! tot WAS q little toe rich To snake n huge
lodging house out OF it aud the people who
have been dreaming aud dwelling In mar
bic halls will have TO pick up their beds
AMI walk.
| Bill Nye doesn't like Thomas Brewer
| Peacock at all. nj all \ man whose last
name admits of as many virulent rhymes
as 'Nye's one'' should be careful how they
rufiie the feathers OF Il proud bird like
! Thomas Brewer.
This long continued. unprecedented
/ silence of j. Il. Burtou's breeds the appre-
/ henSlOn in the state that that individual
( VIII soon bob mp in jeans and a straw hat.
| neat but not gaudY, full tedged mem
Der OF the farmers alliance.
The Topeka Capital thinks that all that
! Is necessary for AN individual 10 he a gem
1 tleman of culture. Is TO be graduated at
| Harvard. II we are to believe the papers
/ what "A legion of 'culchaw' are driving
mules. handling the brake and making
change on city horse cars.
! Mrs. Schmidt, "a German lady living In
/ Mcpherson county, gave birth 10 four
! healthy children last week wei ghing four
/ and cne-half pounds each. Alas! fer the
1 injustice OF fate. Who can imagine tho
sorrow those little infants felt when with
their inherited tastes they woke
up To the facs chat they lived ia "a peerless
state.
In the discussion of the Oklahoma terri
torisl bill Wednesday in the house Me-.
Iarsney. of Missouri said that last sum-
mer he had attended court in southwest
ern Kansas. One day he noticed the judge
scowiing and looking towards the anti
room. lie looked up aud heheld the pros
ecuting attorney shaking bottle of beer
at the judge, not in an Illuminating way.
but IN n bewitcbinK and epticing manner
Mr. Tarsney, II Is known. attended court
~ Medicine Lodge last year. SO the joke is
, on the Judge aud prosecuting attorney OF
that district. Who are theyy
With profound regret We learn that his
royal highneSs, the Prince Of Wales has
resolved SO far 10 Withdraw his patronage
and sanction from English literature "a TO
permit nobody 70 use his name in "a soap
advertisement says the Washington Post.
By the way, this reminds us OF something
that once happened TO Senator lngalIs.
Mr.. David Lewsley. who was 81 the time
reporter for II Washington journal, was
seut 20 hold an interview with the senator
upon an important matter OF stale. The
senator, who had no intention whatever OF
being drawn into a conversation on that
subject, met Mr.. Lewsley with his accus-
toned grace, and c0urteously yecred the
conversation into other channels SOME
how, for want OF another handy subject,
the senator said something about boards,
which led to BARRIERS, and. Of course 20 the
general subject Of shaving. by all
means. said senator Ingalls,, you shonid
learn 10 shave yourself" aud then be went
on with a learned. thoughtful and highly
entertaining dlsquisItiOn on the sdvant-
ages. economic and metaphysic. Of shaving
ones SELF rather than hiring barber to do
u. Mr.. IewsIeF paid careful attention TO
all the senator said, fixed facts ard dates
IN his mind. and said nothing When the
senator bad related clfcumstantialiy his
own varied experience with FaZOrs and
brushes aud soaps. recommending THIS
make Of bale and that brand of lAiber 10
Mr.. IeSgs.ey's Use. the reporter, convinced
that be could not learn what he had come
10 learn. arose 40 70. There wa-, or the
reporter imagined there was a sort ~
merry triumphant twinkle IN Senator
ingalls, eye - ne politely bowed bis caller
from the room-a WINK which seemed 20
Say: Il have made ihe young man really
forget y hat be csiHfs for
The next morning senator ingalls, was
more or less hOrriaed at finding - tA~
local newspaper true report 81 al lac had
said, Including the earnest recommend
tiou u re certain shaving soap. which e
uBqu4iliediy pronounced tas best that
could UT had But The reporters seD-
ge4Hca vas not yet satisfied he marked
TOE article and sent Il 20 the manufacturer
IT fise recommended soap. Ia q fortnight
tle uesvsp gers. she periodicals. aud ali the
m8aT uIraus sUp.oYe5 fy advertisers ~sTs
brought iafp uss, aud senator ingalls,
sleQIeab ~. ~ ~ fast soap Sas DrIHtsd
is eysfF form that could ~ devised to at
traCt popular stt@utioff. ALe TIRE worst
Ok ~ was shc senator couia not deny that
the very expressions. saTfszf aud glowing
"a they were, @efe AZ bis Oan.