The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1890-01-30

the nver:l
Centrdl.-Halloo. Hooker, somebody
who refuses to give his name, but says he
is bosom friend of yours, wants to
speak with you. His breath smells mouldy,
and he ta,xs wild and crazy, like, and, no
doubt. rs tramp, so you'd better be on
your guard.
Hooker.-Halloo, stranger, who are
you and what do you want
Leri Fuller-Hist ! George dear; don't
bawl so loud, or you'll give us away.
Don't you know Your own pet brother
H-Heavens! Can that be you, Levi2
l supposed you were in Chicago telling
your bloody experience to the sons of
Vermont in that city. Where are you,
any way. aud what are you doing?
L.-Speak low, tell you orthe fat will
all be in the fire. The fact is I've gone
into my hole, and not soul knows where
! am.
H.-Hole? What hole, and where i?
L.-Why, over here in the jungles of
North Hinsdale, to be sure. You know
I'm well acquainted over here. These
wilds once before afforded me shelter and
security. l feel perfectly safe here. for
even wild Indian, much less drunken
"Arab" couldn't find my hiding place
without bloodhound to guide him.
H-What are you hiding for?
L.-Well, that's cool, certainly. Why,
on account of that nasty postoffice row
you've kicked up and made such an in
fernal mess of. You and promised the
postofiice to Tom. Harmon, and the whole
earth to the rest of our dupes, who have
done our dirty work for us, and when we
had to own up that we were whipped, to
save being left entirely alone, and were
even compelled to sign the petition of
Deacon Thompson, whom we both have
publicly denounced. | thought it was
about time to 'take to the woods" and
hide away out of sight and hearing of
everybody; and here / am safe and snug,
and here mean to stay till the storm
blows over. What have we gained by
swallowing Thompson? He's worse than
a dose of asafetida! Even if he gets
the postoffice, it won't be our victory, nor
will it help us to run caucuses hereafter.
The taca is, George, we've bit off bigger
chunk than we can chew and swallow,
and we've been little too speedy, or
rather we've let it appear too plainly, and
the stupid fools, who are generally SO
easily led wherever they are wanted to
go, have got their bcastly backs up about
it, and there's nothing for us to do but to
keep shady until they cool off and forget
it. So Pve gone into retirement little
ahead of you, being still tritle lame
yet from that unhealed wound that got
during the war, when Lee surrendered his
sword and army to me at Appomatax, as
I've made lots of the old veterans believe.
When you were so sure that you were to
be the great Mogul and undisputed "boss"
of Vermont in place of Atkins, dethron-
ed, you made most Internal mistake in
boasting of it to everybody you met on
the streets, declaring that you "didn't
care a rap how many petitions were
started for postmaster, nor how
many people signed them, that when you
got ready to have your man (Tom. Han
non) appointed, he'd be appointed, no
matter if every other man in Brattleboro
signed for somebody else" The peoble
said that was little too cheeky and in
solent to be endured, so up came their
backs. and we're ''under the hay" sure
enough, George, and there's nothing left
for us but to subside. Better come right
over here and bunk in with me in this
wilderness and wait patiently
for the anger of the people to cool off.
H.-Levi, my poor brother in distress,
you ought to take little pity on me. and
not throw these things up at me now
when I'm down. How could l foresee
that the internal asses (and there's lots of
old soldiers among them, too), who have
always been SO easily gulled, would rise
up and rebel in this way? And how was
to to know that our weakened Con-
gressmen would prattle about "the dear
people c. em) and refuse point blank to
back me up as supreme dictator. Levi,
I'm sicEat heart and in body, toe, for I've
never recovered from that diabolical
'drugging" business that was played off
on me during my last visit to Washing
ton; and what people can see to snicker
and gibe about in this thing is more than
can understand. | believe those con-
founded drunken Arabs have been lying
about me. But can't go with you into
retirement, Levi. 1t is true we might get
along nicely with possibl, one exception.
could learn you to play bean "draw,"
provided we could rope in some of the
natives to furnish the beans. This would
be rare fun if we only had plenty of
drugs" But there's the rub And 1
rant get along without my medicine. l
mignt manage to live with Il very little
meat and few doughnuts, but medicine
must have. Besides. | must fix up
decent explanation of certain official
acts of mine that need careful handling,
and among them that old bridge that l
shingled with clapbnards. so laid as to
facilit tc the free pa sage of water through
them. t. be sure | unloaded the worth
less old ripred-off clapboards on the
Valley Fair Association. of which / am
sure enough boss, and / am willing to
stand all other damage "ont of my own
pocket" us usual, if they'll only shut up.
But some of the cranky fools insist that
a man capable of such double ID (Which
mrans d-d), blunder in shingIing a
bridg,. would he likely to fool away piles
Of the peoples money in other ways equal
" senseicss. As for old Thompson
well. it fairly makes me sick at the stom-
ach when think of him and of what