The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1890-08-31
WILL YOU HAVE A SMILE ?
SELECTED BITS OF FLEETlNG
FRiVOLlTlES.


Parrots are priests OF evil, il the deduc-
lions of % French student Of criminal sta
tistics are true. says a Chicago paper. He
asserts ula persons who own parrots are
TWENTY-FIVE times as likely 20 be criminals
os those who do not That is 20 say, taking
equal numbers of owners and non-owners
of parrots. twenty-five Of The former have
criminal records. where only one Of the lat
Ter has encountered the penal code. II the
Frenchmau had studied the nature Of the
crimes committed by the two classes, he
probably would have found that the crlmi-
nal parrot owners are twenty-five times as
vicious rs the ordinary criminal.
The Frcuchman may be correct I'm his de-
duciiOn-. hut Doe did not 90 far enough. lie
oneht 10 have gone into the next housc-to
al the houses in the block I'M which "a parrot
resides and there collected the criminal
statistics OF The ncichhorh0od. The parrots
first know ledge az the language is its pro-
fluc vocabulary. lie is wonderful induce
mont toprDanity. His choice Of Literature
!. /nla's works. 4 Dearborn avenue parrot
never ceased his ratings against the human
race until Nolume 90 that wicked author
was chained to his peSch.
The pa<rots face is sufficient 90 guarantee
IFS p.ctlre place in the rogue s gallery.
o. has the red nose Of hummer the efh
.,e.f "a confidence man, and the voice OF "a
draw. roller. Music takes the wire edge
on ihe savage instincts, the poet says. II
tho PARROTS song gushCs from lis heart, MS
sentimental nature must consist oil nan
factory.
Tine Young man who owns the Dearborn
.,.n.c u.rrof tried 90 teach 10 % sing. lie
...,.n..nfel with different instruments TO
l.r that would chord with the parrots
.. iI. succeeded one day when irou-
f..f.tr -lwnlcr began q solo on his stringed
Instrument boz the voodshCd. The parrot
...r OH. precise ky of the sawiile, and
.....IUrho0d at once flung itself against
t.f.n commandments. The first was Nio-
lated in thc remarks that greeted The duet
Units .IUier registers. From that the de-
...rf. MIS- easy tO coyCiou-ncss and muir
.I--Y desire to posses, and Kin the parrot.
.ln- ,oYne man was paving court 20 a
most exemplary Young woman in theneIeh-
I.r..aI. Ne vas not "a two-to-fiNe favorite
,ln.f father. ln fact. the old gentleman had
refused fs subscribe for either the preferred
.-,.um.r stock of The trust IN which the
,.un. m'A bad combined their confidence
u each other. oue beautiful moonlight
evening. when thc stars were s"ssiplns
about Jupiter and Venus as ihel spun lheh
golden threads through the fate ol TINS loving
ilr. 81 -ru1. cold, piercing. unsympathcuc
t..... screamed.
..lla. h1. YOU villain"
IIrN YOUNG man. who had never heard NJ
D.nntn 'IN'n ln ihe neat oi "cuH'c ~ tnv
''t '' IT, We. t,''d i.o",, ,ittir,,
..''.,.,' A. be ,ycro
"''' ,.' ,ri,,,ld '.o,,lon,an
"'' ....l l,.,,'.t i'm h.1 nursIif
'.ll o.,l- ,r ,bo ro.tlt and
..,-.'.,.''t l.,. lrri.,an's men for betting
,....' rror, that moment affairs
,,...... ,r tb,t reirbborhood. A
,..,,l, o.r,ler,an I'M tho next block was
.r..tt alderman. and introduced q Gas
...I.r..r.0 I'M tl. council. Another became
. Constable. and entered ON "a criminal
...r.r
T.. l.nn. Girl clopcd with the leader of
OLD. ral.r. rneon Imam started in pursuit
.. OBJ. ,m.ns yOm- woman. boarded
sI.r1.-fr..f car. Tine cable broke when the
f..i.r. va-in fine middle of the tunnel. and
electric. Heht- went out. The old gen
rI.in.u. though 20 deacon. used violent lam
..l,a fuu.h.r- tla president If tine conn
rln,. Il. minister happened 90 Dee i'm the
.rp smoking MiiWaukee-aNenuep erlccto.