The Sunday herald and weekly national intelligencer., 1890-06-22

NEW YORK, June 20, 1890.
Why don't you make out your own list for
the census man ? You can tell him how many |
times week you go to the theatre, whether you
prefer blondes or brunettes what your favorite
tipple is, what books you think are immoral,
what is your favorite color, If not yourself who |
would you rather be- and who is your favorite
hero in history. In this way you will give the
Government good idea of your intellectual
status, and there is no telling what effect this
may have on future generations
BAB's AM1ABLE CENSUS MAN.
have studied the questions closely, and re-
gret that | am not the widow of soldier, for
then l might be getting a pension. The man
who otook mine census, not photography thought
it was an insult to the Government at large be-
cause l hadn't been soldier bride, and he
agreed with me that ought to have a large and
sure income from the United States merely for
existing. He was very civil man. Without a
word he put me down as seventeen, and when
said that three generations of fathers had been
born in Baltimore, he said: 81 knew that as
soon as seen you.n When l wrote down my
vocation, he said it was shame that had to
work, and l agreed with him; and he said one
of the things that struck him was the great num-
Der OF lovely women who hadn't the protecting
arm OF man dDOuI lleT Ills Nds SllSully ull1Sl
up as to number, but l accepted it as personal,
and smiled my best smile. In reference to my
children, told him the fortune-teller said
WOULD HAVE THIRTEEN BOYS,
so he agreed with me he might as well ring
them in, because he didn't know when the next
census would be taken. You cannot imagine
what nice and obliging man he was. He re-
GREETED that did not own house, even with
mortgage on it, and said he hoped there would
be a rise in cemetery lots when he found pos
sessed seven He said he'd ''be durned II he'd
ever believe in cremation" l told him Id had
the pneumonia and rheumatism, but l didn't
know they were hereditary. He pondered over
that little while, but on my positive assurance
that I'd never had the grip" he said he didn't
suppose I had gotten them from my fathers and
mothers, but that just caught them. Again
we were in unison. He was certain l wasn't
pauper and grew CHASTITY pale when [ told him
L was, and he said ''if he had his way-but then
so many men made mistakes in their mar
riages''-and then | told him thought they
dd-and we both looked at each other in that
way two stricken souls do look, and he went
out of my sight, bade me goodbye, and said he
would like to come and take my census every
day in the week.
THE MATRoN OF A FREE LIBRARY.
1t isn't so disagreeable as you think it is 1t
doesn't compare with having tooth pulled out,
nor is the catechism quite as elaborate as when
you take out ticket on the free library run on
nou-sectaIian principles (:) where they ask you
to bring reference. and if you can't get letter
from your pastor | told the old goose who
asked me that mine was too busy saving souls,
and getting the money to send sick babies away,
and to build homes for women who had no
homes to go to, for me to bother him, and she
was so impressed by this that she took me on
my own recommendation, and then asked me,
when | took out my first book if Shelley was
spelled Sch ~ Later on, having proved both
honest and honorable, she accepted two young
women who didn't know what they believed
and didn't have any pastors, but who did have
perennial hunger for literature. But she
always thought there was something wrong
about them, aud had visions Of dynamite when
ever they entered. The old dear nearly fell
off of her perch when one of them presented the
library with twenty-five bound books and she
told me confidentally she was afraid she had
misiudged them, and l very properly told hel
that it wasn't always the people who said they
believed the most who did the most good, and
that if she would remember a long time age
people questioned as to whether any good thing
about this but think her intentions were hon
orable; but she had been too badly brought up
ana she was too old for anybody to rip her VI
and make her over, as is always possible with
half-worn skirt,
MOTHS IN woMAN's GARMENTS.
Thetme Of year has arrived when every woman
who is in the least degree feminine wants t.
sit down on the floor and swear at herself TO
ever getting any winter clothes. No matte
how fascinating they may appear, they NJ
longer have charm for her. and nOtwithstand
ing she looked smart in fur-trimmed coat, N
matter whether the cloth frock is becoming T.
her, or the silk and velvet tea gown is a dreau
Of bliss, the fact that now they represent 6
many things to be put away is a deadly sorrow
Putting away things" is the great grief of tn
year and / believe if the average woman oWne
stoage-house she still wouldn't have rooI
enough. Year before last she put them ava
in camphor. Now, if there is anything in th
tNbic d'h6te line that moths adore ii is camphO
and 50 they came and feasted on this dsint
dish, riddled flannel petticoats, ate out fur
spots and altogether had an EXCEPTIONAL
agreeable summer, Last year she read an al
count Of doing up your things in newspaper
and gluing them together The newspaper
were warranted to keep out any well-regulate
moth, but evidently the moths in her neighbo
hood were badly bred creatures, and they al
through the glue, had feast Of reason as far
the newspapers went, and flow Of soul on h,
wardrobe.
A DISIEFRCTAST WHICH ISFFCTs