Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1890-12-07

iAoietinei, LILY 1--WE ouc SuiSicu INTO
his loveship's left ear, isn't it shame
that cannot voter"
'Ahem Well, my ducky, you seem to
forget that you have one privilege that's
equal to vote"
Yes; what is it, my love ?"
"Why-er-don't you know-you can
pair with me-"
The ceremony takes place next Wednes-
day. No cards.
Awful Awful l suppose in another
week the red devils will be numbering and
scalping those poor defenseless settlers by
the thousands"
The gentleman dropped the newspaper
from which he had been reading the
--latest about the Indian scare" and began
to shed few sympathetic tears.
"Well, my friend" spoke up the deacon.
who had been listening, II am an out-and-
out Christian, and | don't approve of blood
shed; but should those unregenerate crazy
| redskins abandon their weird and bowling
ghost dances for scalping crusade, it's the
duty of Uncle Sam to tit them all for a real
ghost dance, in which only the disembodied
spirits OF lnjuns are qualified to participate.
Now, thems my sentiments, and don't you
forget to remember it.
Hear Heart chorused the other pas
sengers.
1t was On Thanksgiving morning and the
downtown car was crowded. Everybody
was thankful because it was Thanksgiving
Day particularly those who were able to
purchase turkeys.
"Oh, sighed Sergeant Barwick, II am
50 thankful that did not predict an early
and wet winter"
And l am thankful too" chimed Ed.
Rand, the temperance advocate, "becar Sc
the Mckinley bill has not as yet affected
the price of China GIN"
"And, oh, I'm so thankful that cyclones
are scarce in this part of the country"
quoth the man with the whiskers.
Il am thankful that Thanksgiving Day
did not come before the election" piped
County Clerk-elec. Rhoades.
And / offer up my thanks, because the
baseball pennant struggle ended in fizzle
my reputation as prophet would other
wise have been ruined" said Slater, the
mind. reader.
Il am thankful because I'm the most up
right man in the county-Tm nearly seven
feet, you know" was ex.Postmaster
Stephens contribution.
Two old.time sporting.men met on red
car. They had not seen each other for
many years. One had only recently re.
turned from Montana, while the other be-
longed here in Sacramento.
We'll" said the Montana man, after
they had nearly shaken each others hands
off, Il see another of our old friends hes
left US for good-Alf Estell. Poor Alf-
you knew him, didn't you, Charley ?-oh,
of course you did. A finer fellow never
breathed."
You're right, Jack, Aft was true blue.
A rl,o yx-b o@,,lI DOL
be proud indeed. But, by the way, Jack.
suppose you heard of the death of old
Norfolk, the great stallion
Il was just going to speak of that, in
connection with Alf Estells death. You
know he thought the world and all of that
great racer. Alf used to be rider himself
and mighty good one, too. But say
now you know, Charley, that 1 never was
superstitious-but l can't help thinking
what strange coincidence it is that ALI
and Norfolk, his fsvorite, should leave us
atthe same time. I'll tell you why. Abused
to say, goodnatQredly, that when he died
and went TO the other world, he was going
to ask the Lord TO let him have old Norfolk
to ride about the clouds upon. Now, don't
laugh at me, Charley, but do honestly be-
iieve that's just what has happened
1t was touching bit Of dialogue, indeed
and no doubt Jack believed as he said he
did.
Farmer Corncob, who lives several miles
further than Waybsck, came 10 town the
other day for the first time in many wears.
A relative of his lives out on o Street,
and Farmer Corncob smiled audibly as he
contemplated the surprise he would occa-
sion when he appeared at the house.
"Looky here, young feller," said Farmer
Corncob, addressing a young man who
was diligently brushing flies off the front
of the Western, (which Of these here kyars
runs out Q street?"
blue bob.tail."
"What?n
blue bob-tail."
Say, looky here now, young Teller, I
mought look ez if l KEN from the back |
woods, but before 1 left Mirandy told me ez
how to look out fer you city sharpers, an
eff you think you've caught blue bob tail
this ere time you're mistaken. See ?"
The young man explained, and every
thing was all right again.
When the blue bob.tail came along the |
gentleman from the rural districts boarded |
it and dropped into seat.
Hum! Fare cents hey?> unused |
Farmer Corncob, as he read the sign near
the door. "Well, l wonder eff that Teller |
outside comes and gets it'll guess he do" |
But as 'Mirandy" had instructed him !
how to act in the city so as not to let every
body know he was from the country, he |
concluded to wait until somebody else paid |
their fare, and he would see how it was |
done. Presently lady boarded the car |
and as she stepped up to the door and rang |
the change" jigger, Farmer Corncob |
watched her closely.
Hum There's nothing like hsvin' |
garden angel like Mirandy to keep Teller |
outer trouble in these new-fangled davs,n |
said Farmer Corncob, as he dug nickie |
out of his oyeralls, and started for the
door
Clang
He thrust his hand through the Change" |
shutter and dropped his nickel.
Here What's the matter with you |
you idiot ~ shouted the driver, opening the |
door and addressing the verdant visitor. |
I'm not going to get out in the street and |
look for that money. You'll have to pay |
again."
Farmer Corncob glanced back at the irate
driver
Just what thort," seid be, moving to. |
ward the door, Mirandy told me ez how |
to LOOK out fer bunky sharps, or / might |
ha' known ez that young Teller was one of |
'em when he told me about ther blue bob |
tail. You can have that MCKEE" he |
shouted, back to the driver but durn me |
eff you git another cent. I'm too smart fer |
you"
With this, farmer Corncob jumped off |
the car backwards, and turned two or three
in the dirt, but got up and con-
soled himself with the knowledge that he |
was only out Nickel and had successfully |
evaded the bunky sharps Mirandy had |