The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-11-28
NI1I!{lsEa9le
HARD ON YOUNG WIVES.
HOW THE WORLDS CRUEL CRITICISM
AFFECTS THEM.

Every Action Is Discussed by BusybOdies.
Much Pain and Annoyance Might BE
Avoided IL Mothers Were Alive to
Their Duties-POwer of Gossip.
Few are conscious of how the opinion OF
other people affects our every act and
deed. We do over and over again the very
thing we dislike the most because of what
people will say if we don't. We stay at
home from places we long TO see; we deny
our tastes in every way because Mrs.
Grundy might object Particularly we
women, for men pay less attention to this
mysterious yet mighty parsonage, although
they, too, are constantly forced to acknowl-
edge the influence she wields.
In the majority of cases she is a very de-
sirable check upon ones actions but there
are times when her influence gals and the
rebellion against her dictates is strong and
mighty.
Especially in the matter Of our expenses
is the influence of what people will say to
be deplored Women buy twice as many
gowns as they would if they were not sure
that repeated appearances in well known
attire would excite slurring speeches. 1t
is simply maddening to stand about and
knows that over by the window stands a
group saying with plying tones: There's
poor Mrs. Blank in that old blue again.
should think she would be tired to death
of it by this time"
TRYING ORDFALS FOR WIVES
Tired of it, Yes, no doubt she is; loathes
il, perhaps; but would one OF that party Of
scornful acquaintances have the courage
- 4 10
run up an extravagant bill at a dressmak-
er's, which will add further depth to the
wrinkles on the brow of some already anX-
ious bread winner
you would rather stay at homew says
somebody. Well, you can, Of course; that
is your privilege, but it i some one else's
10 60 out and your kindly courteous duty
70 your neighbor 10 forget the old gown
for the sake of the bright new smile and
the cheerful word a woman Of courage
will bring with her.
No matter in what position in life a
woman who can rise above considerations
Of dress Is TO be envied.
IT seems that the special target of the
criticism of curious people in America is
the young married woman, and she, more
than any one else, must govern ali she does
with the thought of what people viii say
about her. If She is pretty and stylish she
will find criticism on every side, for she
will always be observed.
When a young married woman is plain
and unattractive she may do almost what
she pleases and nobody seems TO say any
thing about it, She may walk downtown
with different man every day and nobody
will roll her eyes and say, What a firt
she is
She may even take a dash up the avenue
with some common friend Of hers and her
husband's-friend Of the sterner sex,
mean-after his fast trotter, and no one
will declare it perfectly shocking" She
may even go to the theatre with her brother
or her cousin, and acquaintances, who
know her and not them, will not make the
fact a subject for general gossip.
But let pretty woman do these things
and half the town goes mad with amaze
ment and horror.
DUTIES or MOTHERS.
It seems to me there is only one position
In life so hard to fill as that of the young
woman who marries and goes away from
home to live, and that is Of the young
clergyman in a new parish, and even then
# he has a wife she has about the hardest
time of IL. The very things that a young
girl brought mp amidst the friends of her
childhood would most naturally DO are
those which excite most criticism in the
young matron.
She has no one to lean upon for advice,
for her relations with her young husband
are yet too new for her TO venture 10 con
ide in the one she wants 10 think well Of
her that people are looking askance out of
the corners Of their ewes at certain of her
doings. Poor little woman, If she goes
TO the right she does wrong, and If she
goes to the left she goes wrong STILL" and
very many times there are when she does
not know what 10 do.
il certainly seems natural 10 suppose
some Of this trouble might be foreSeen by
mothers who are giving their daughters in
marriage A girl is young and thought
less; her ideas of married woman's rights
and duties are vague and romantic, very
rarely colored by observation, but by a ro-
mantle choice of reading; her thoughts
are taken up far too much with the things
of the hour, with loves young dream and
pretty girliSh hopes for the future, and the
idea that the world which has been so
kind TO her all these years is going TO
frown upon her soon Is never dreamed of.
II mothers would only remember their
own youth and the temptations that as
sailed them when the pressure of matron-
hood was yet novel upon their hrows, and
talk more plainly, more frankly and st
greater length with their girls before they
fy away from the parents nest, half the
difficulties would be overcome.
1t Is most deplorable that for reasons
unknown the custom Of the world has
come TO the point Of permitting girls 10
marry with the utmost ignorance Of the
life before them, and of permitting a false
sense of modesty or delicacy TO prevent
their own mothers from warning and ad-
vising them Chicago Herald.