The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1890-11-27
PITH AND POINT.

Scraps, of history-Battles.
Used up-The umbrella.
1t is an odd man who never tries to
get even.
81 am paned by your conduct" as the
window sash said to the glaizer. ;
Women govern in two States now
Wyoming and the married state.
A watch manges to keep up with the.
flight of time because it has pinions.
An appropriate crew for jolly boat
-Rowers of laughter.-Teras Sytings.
Women are the most consistent Pa
irons of Husbandry.-PAtsburgh Ttle-
graph.
There's nothing so touching as mans
hands when he sees the sign "Fresh
Paint"
A man usually leads his bride to the
altar, but after that she takes the lead.
-Statesman.
The fool is pleased with himself; the
wise man dissatisfied. Score one for the
fool.-Iezas Sytings.
1t is q good idea to suffer with the
,toothache occasionally. 1t proves toy your
friends that your teeth are real.-gpoeh.
The critic who declares that the Amer
ican belle is inclined to be idle and list
less never saw her chew gum Chicago
Times.
Yeast-"Does Crimsonbeak ever give
n thought to the poor9" Bacon-"Oh,
yes! frequently. But that's all he does
give" e."-Statesnan
eyes, I'd like to meet some one who
fsG HfSsaf 4ad f4aada qq9iqqaiqaRb Of styips9" "Meuld
Detroit Free Press.
"What a talker Mrs. Frakshus isl"
exclaimed Mrs. Dinwiddie. eyes, re
piled Mr.. Dinwiddie; seven her teeth
chatter Chicago Inter- Ocean.
If man could live thousand years,
he would probably spend the last fifty
fretting over what he might have done
in the previous wasted time.-Puck.
"Aim highr the scholars tell us;
But when to war we 60
Those military fellows
They tell us to aim low.
Chicago Post.
Fond Mother-'I think Violets voice
ought to be cultivated abroad" Sensible
Father-"Anywhere would suit me ex-
cept at home. ."-Snaia, Gray d Co.'s
Monthly.
"Why did you yell Hay at the horse
carr" "In the hope that the horses
would hear me and stop. The driver
wouldn't pay any attention to me."'-
Harper's Basar.
"Aren't you ever overcome by some
underlined longings, Mr.. snapleyT
"H'ml No. have much more trouble
with very clearly defined shortuess.
Rarper's Basar.
Old Mr.. Close-"Hello, doctor. Oh,
by the way, what ought I to take for
bad cold2" Physician (who knows
Close)-"You ought to take medical ad-
vice. ."-Aunseys Weekly.
This seasons sensation at Cadillac,
Mich, is a seventy-ive-pound squash.
Last year it had horse which climbed
upstairs each morning and kissed tho
chamberulaid. Chicago Herald.
She--"How charmingly Mr.. Galley
talks, Mr.. Greeneve. There appears to
be no subject he is not informed on"
He (madIy jealous)-"Says he inherits
the gift; his ancestors were BARRIERS, you
know. ."--Racket
Mamma Ito little Nellie)- "Would my
little girl like to go out with mamma
and look at the stars2" Little Nellie
"Oh, yes; and I want you to show me
the dog star, mamma; that is, if it's
muzzled so that it can't bite. ."-Epoch.
Cross-examining Counsel-"Isnt your:
husband a burglar1" Witness-"Y.e-s."
Cross-examlning Counsel-"And didn't
YOU know he was a burglar when you
married him2" Witness--"Ycs; but
was getting little old, and l had 10
choose between burglar and a lawyer
-Mew York NeVs.
Scientific Parent ION strolD-"You
see out there on the street, my son. a
sample illustration of principle in me-
chanics. The man with that car pushes
it in front of him. Can you guess whys
Probably not. will ask him. Note ms
answer, my son." (To banana peddler)
-"My good man, why do you push tnas
cart instead of pulling it| Banana
Peddler-"'Cause l amt horse.