The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-11-05
BRIGHT BITS.

ONE cannot understand the true delights of a
still nunt until he goes out on one with an excise
ottic in Kentucky. II is then that one enjoys
the spirit OF the sport-NelC Yors Commercial.
\ SINGLE hair can be stretched one-third its
entire leR2tl.- When man appears with
oiue hair on bis shoulder, aud is met by his
brunette wife, the hair seems to be twenty miles
long.-Boston Traveller.
HUsBAND-I see that a woman is about to
apply for seat in the New York Stock Ex-
change.
Wife-Why don't some of the men get up and
give her seat. --LoaeelL Citizen.
Hosr-Great Scott There are thirteen at the
tanle rllssa.l 81 ~ sfr
Guest-surely you're not so superstitious as
mo, but there's only food enough for
twelve !'-BoStoH Traveller.
mot more than tin minnits nor liss than
three i'll the boot. is it? Thin don't vote at
al. It's not t0ine enough fur me ter stiddy
me hand. Sure an that's only fur payple av
names. Siction thurty-sex here siz: The
workn' man must be allowed two hours to
vote. "-HarperS Weekly.
PATIENT MOTHER (after fifteen minutes of
| persuasion with Tommy on the subject of
paternal deference) And you must remember,
my son, that your papa is getting old.
Tommy with a missionary traIning)-Yes,
mother don't you think we d better give him to
| the orphanstN-EtRlirG Gazette.
CHICAGO WRITER says; Don't marry a man
| The instincts of that man. whether developed
or not are those of a gambler" Weaa- minded
young men who have worn loud" clothing, in
nocently believing they were merely following
| the London fashions, can now what inherent
scouudres they are at h art and set about re-
| forming Philadelphia Press.
Mr.. BINGs Ito his daughter)-Clara, is it posi-.
| BILE that saw YOU reading that realistic novel,
| AT Last, yesterdays
| Clara tmeekiy)-I am afraid you did, father.
| Mr.. Bings-Has it come to this. that the
venomous serpent of corrupt literature the in
sidious poison of overcharged and fetid imagi-
| nation is even now tracking its crimson course
| through my very housenoldi How was it,
| good?-Lue.
HORSE THIEF, who was recently convicted OF
| Being common and notorious thief and cen
fenced 10 tive five years in tae state prison,
| was informed by the officer in charge that the
Judge had no discretion in regard to the sen.
| tence, the term being fixed by law, whereupon
| he sad: L guess the fellows who made that
law were not in the DEMONSTRATING business. y
He added that if he ever got out Of prison he
| would steal every horse in the county of Essex
| --Nelc6Tgport Herald.
WELL you may come to work in the NOR n
| ing, said a white woman to colored lady
| wnom she had Just employed.
''Yessum; but, lady, dar is one pint whut we
| hain't settled Wit.
| what is thatg'
IVY. lady yer amt gin me no stifferkit O
character. l alus wants to know who Is
| wuckin' fur. got picked up de las placs
wicked l didn't ak fur no character, an
hadn been dar long till Earned dat de lady's
husban wuz er dimmercrat. It's bes' ter fix
desc things up at fust lady "-Arkansotc
| Traveller. -.
CAueHT-Te me, dearest Emma, will you be
mine?
"WiIl you always let me have my own wsyr'
| Always, dearest"
And my mother may live with u.s."
Willingly" --.t
"And not ask for a latch-key?n
81 would rather throw It in the sea-"
And give up. your club, and always be at
home to dinner?'' 80
always, and on the minute"
Then You must excuse me. but you are not
ut all the sort of man l should wish for hus-
band. ~ ledeade BlGJter.