davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1890-03-16

II is a difficult matter TO tell from the
meagre reports received on the subject.
which Is having the most fun at Olympia
the house or the senate. A report con-
corning Wednesdays proceedings In the
senat tells how the monotony Of the
session was relieve4 by several amusing
incidents" A very large senator who
had been absent without leave was cap
tured by very small page and brought
before the barof the senate. where ne was
reprimanded by the president, as directed
by vote Of the senate. which being done.
he took his seat amid the laughter Of the
senators. Then. says the report. kin
near added to the general amusement by
moving that the vote by which the rcpri-
mand was ordered be reconsidered, which
was done unanimously. Then senator
Clough was rendered a vote Of thanks for
his uniformly prompt attendance upon
the business uf the senate. About this
time Guilfoil, laying aside the grave SEN
atorial dignity that is nearly always not
ably conspicuous In his demeanor,
crowned senator lIunsakcr with a large
waste basket. which little piece Of levity
brought forth another explosion from h,
senate. llunsaker. divesting his head 81
the basket. arose in great apparent wratl
and moved that Guilfoil be- severely rep
rimanded. senator Iloughton moved .,
amend by creating the office Of senate
clown, and appointing Senator Guilfoil Il
the position. II accept" responded Gull
foil. The motion was put. and though j
was plainly carried. the president sol
femnly pronounced it lost. All Of which
inclines one to the belief that the voter
Of this state will start /. for little fun
later on. This thing Of fun trust vii
never do. The thing needs dividing up.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1890-03-16

Several Seattle people are anxious to
take a hand In Tacoma's scheme Of send
ing George Francis Train and Sam Wall
around the world in sixty days. One
enthusiastic individual wants to send
along with Train Queen Angelina the
sO-year-old daughter Of Chief Seattle.
for whom the city was named. Another
wants the Post-lntelligencer to father
the scheme" of sending a man day later
than Train who will beat Train around
one day, but the P.-I. speaks Of the Train
trip as sending "a lmatic ON fools
Grand and declines to "father the
scheme" no matter how much money
may be raised. The fact is that the very
association of the lunatic Train with the
matter will attract attention TO the affair
and will greatly advertise Tacoma
whereas. had any one else attempted it
the matter would have been regarded a.
the P.l. says: "Simply trailing beaten
path after the 'Petticoats. who have
already worked the scheme to WEAKNESS. =
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1890-03-16
KUMLATELY'S KINKS.

Mr. Kumlately is OF the opinion that Of
all the cowardiy, misunderstanding people
on the face Of the earth the white Caps"
Of the Ohio river states are the worst, and
observing the white caps ON the bay yes
terday he thought how good IL would be
if the Indiana and other white caps
were under the bay.
-.
Mr.. X. overheard some gentlemen last
night talking about jun jams and kim
dred subjects. and one of them remarked
that Indians, who are the hardest of all
drinkers when they can get irewater,
never have snakes in their boots, because
they never wear boots, to which the inno-
cent and ingenious Mr.. X. replied that
he couldn't see why they shouldn't have
moccasin snakes.
-.
IL see" said Mr.. X, that few even
ingS ago when the Washington legislature
held an evening session that large num-
Der Of ladies had seats on the floor OF the
house II would seem to me that this Is
worse than allowing women TO stand up
Ill kllt >Aiftl fdIN NDllt u Nubit lbN vi
men are seated. But still il could hardly
be expected that the lawmakers should
give up their seats to anybody. OF course.
however. the whole thing IS another eX-
hibition Of English as she is spoke In
this republic of ours"
-.
Mr.. Kumlatciy was making two boot
| jacks yesterday. and looker-on supposed
that he intended to join them together in
some way 50 as TO draw both boots al
once. Mr.. X. explained, however. that he
was making one for use and the other u
throw at midnight screnading and court.
ing cats. There is no weapon" he says
(which so thoroughly terrifies and dis
concerts cats in a concert than a fyins
bootjack, and IL you happen to catch ,
cat across the back with the forks of ,
boot jack. he slackens his fiddle string
and the music quits indefinitely.
} =,
Speaking Of eats. Once ] visited Bill
Nye at his home in Hudson. Wisconsin
before he became So stately and moved 4
Staten Island and became so worldly an,
, went to work ON the World The winte
was about closing its contract and Ny
! took up a stove-stick and threw 1t at
big icicle which was hanging over tn
steps of the back porch threatening 3
1 fall sometime and injure some member o
his household. He was trying TO knoc
, the eicle down. but the stove-stick fey
0 wide Of the mark and knocked out one O
+, the nine lives of an adjacent cat. Ny
. coolly remarked that he was fond q
b. stalactites Of all kinds and had no inten
!. tion Of hurting the cicle. but was simpl
. pretending to aim at it In order to foo
\ that cat The dead animal. he said, wa
I an utter stranger to him and had bee
/. making itself altogether too free aroun
= his premises rubbing the paint off Of h
{ new kitchen and trying TO make mas
q on the staid old house eat which had bee
a raised in the family. When Nye an
d James Whitcomb Riley used to travel I,
q gcthcr Nye had habit ofremarkiug ths
e nearly all poets are accompanied by the
u Tyres when they go abroad. and as VI
Il Riley was a poet and he Travelled wit
= this poet the inference was as plain as
Il homely old maids face.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1890-03-16

The people Of this country do not want
the heads Of distinguished people or
presidents on the coins Of the country.
The idea smacks too much Of monarchy
aud one Immediately revcrts to the head
Of Caesar on the coin which Christ spoke
Of when lie said ''render unto Caesar the
things which are Cesar's" The night
capped Ga ddess Of Liberty and the
Roman-uosed bird Of freedom are good
enough for our coin, Wien the work Of
engraving the latter is not let out to am
Englishman who turns our national fowl
into an indisposed buzzard Of the turkey
variety. Let's keep right aong with the
stars and stripes, Uncle Sam. Miss Colum-
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1890-03-16

The timber here and tributary IL good
for the manufacture Of eooperage, furni-
ture, excelsior. sash. doors, blinds and
every other article into which wood goes.
1t will furnish material for building
houses and ships aud railroads The tim
her. coal and iron, and the products Of
the vast agricultural area. together with
the tributary gold and silver mines Of the
okahogan region. will build mp such a
commerce that in the coming years they
who have seen Chicago rise will say.
"history in city building repeats itself. .
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1890-03-16

Suffice il therefore, for the present. that
steps are being made by men Of unflag-
ging zeal; men who have vast capital aud
are able to control much more; men who
have full faith In Fairhavcn; men of en-
1erprise. public spirit and activity; men
who are ambitious to build a mighty city,
are negotiating now for the establishment
here Of plants which will start the fly
wheel Of manufacturing over the dead
point. and thus set in motion all the
wheels which will make Fairhaven hum.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1890-03-16

The school houses. colleges, libraries
and all branches Of learning; churches
with their benign Influences; the magnih-
ccnce Of scenery and the genial climate
which cultivate art and poetry. will bring
cultured Boston TO see and admire.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1890-03-16

Mr.. Kumlately is OF the opinion that OF
all the cowardiy, misunderstanding people
on the face Of the earth the"White Caps
Of the Ohio river states are the worst. and
observing the white caps ON the bay yes
terday he thought how good II would be
if the Indiana and other white caps
were under the bay.
Orange County observer. [volume] (Hillsborough, N.C.) 1880-1918, 1890-04-05
Spoiled His Appetite.

He was a tall old man with sparsely
settled whiskers that afforded ample
playground for the wind and he olided
into q restaurant as tbonoh he had com,
| straigbt rom M Grand Central Station
| and was still q Iittle dazed bv he crowd
| and the noise. He selected . seat or
! dered an oyster s4ew and ss he ou;e>l
awaited i. coming n. door onanad ond
q man ~ enorDous baiob4 stronea -
The old man looked A. the newcomer i
comnie,e engagement He took IN -.
c%opious proDortioDs from sole 70 crown
and leaning over vl,;sner.d.
uW.i,er
.,s;r@n
az calc.lata -hat man ( eave, fort
h;ob y
..Ei,h4 eir u
uGash !
t.F;ob, foo+ - uo- ),
tn ,Jd mon "a eoaroa1-
mon his luncheon vben = j;+tle $50
not three f4et h;ob I'M, we,r;,c h.a.1
n,s+ocbe ona - &c ;o@e n5
down the room cr;rahad ~ 1880
ordared cbono anG Iaor ~ =
neolected VIZ mon.h I
fsi7Iv ,on,,a o,T+ ui+h
man stndie1 6is now tI
Orange County observer. [volume] (Hillsborough, N.C.) 1880-1918, 1890-04-05
The Vitality Of the Snail.

The snail is blessed with very great
powers of vitality. A case is recorded
of an Egyptian desert snail which came
to life upon being immersed in warm
water after It had passed four years glued
to a card III the British Museum. Some
specimens III the collection Of a naturalist
revived after they had apparently been
dead for fifteen years, and snails frozen
Tor weeks together in solid blocks of ice
have recovered on being thawed out. The
eggs OF tins creature are as hard to de.
stroy as himself. They seem perfectly
indifferent to freezing, and have been
known to prove productive after having
been shriveled up in an oven to the sem.
blance of grains Of sand.-Lungmani
Magazine.
Orange County observer. [volume] (Hillsborough, N.C.) 1880-1918, 1890-04-05
Deafness Can't he Cured

~ Local applications, as they cannot reach
lie diseased portion If the ear. There is only
'le way TO cure Deafness, and that is by
constitutions remedies. Deafness is ca,,ea1
~ al intlamel condition Of the mucous
ining Of the kustachian Tube. When ills
ute Lets infamed you have a rurnhlmo
ouni or imperfect hearing, and when it is eu'
rely ciosei Deafn s. is the result, and ut,.s,
ne Inflammation can be taken out and this
.d3e restored to ltsnormal condition, hearInl
vii be DESTROYED forever: nine cases ont n11
sen ore caused 10y catarrh, which is nothing
out an intiamed condition of the mucous
surfaces.
We viii give One Hundred Dollars f.
my ease Of Deafness caused hy CAtarrllthat
Ne can not cure by taking Hans C4tniYn
-ure. Sn for circulars, free.
FL. CHENEY & co, Prop. Toledo e
rs sold by Druggists, 75c.
Orange County observer. [volume] (Hillsborough, N.C.) 1880-1918, 1890-04-05

~ reason the Browns are so exempt from sickness Is the feet -bo.
toy a occasional course of DR. Pierces Golden Medical Discovery tLcv
Keep their blood, which IS the fountain of HE and strength. pure and:
len In this way their systems are fortified to ward off attacks Of fever
and other dangerous diseases.
Those not So prudent who have become sufferers from torpid live.
blIrousness, n :" liver Complaint" or from N of the innureIab. dis
caused by impure blood, Will find the F." Golden Medical Discovery"
a positive remedy for such diseases.
irSpeciaHy las te Discovery produced the most marvellous cures
Of all manner Of Skin and Scalp diseases, Salt rleum I.t,,r F.nr,,
Eryspelas, and kindred diseases. Not less wonderful, ha>. been t.,
- Inn't'eu ~ i III cases Of reVefsoreS, " v hHe SWelin-+ " His
JOINT Disease, and old sores or ulcers. 1t arolses all tie tzcr,tor,
It from all manner of blood pohons, no matter from what source. t.y
have arisen.
1ok1en Medical Discovery +" IS the only blood and liver medicine
sold by druggists, under q positive guarantee from lis manufacturers
u US he nI o curing III every case II money pad for il viii be
returned. NoRIDs DHPESsARY MEDICAL lAHocIaIfoE. Napnf,.trr.
t3 Nam Street, Buffalo, \. Y.
Orange County observer. [volume] (Hillsborough, N.C.) 1880-1918, 1890-04-05
Japan'S Admiration for This Country

One of the oldest things in the history
Of the present age is the admiration
which Japan has for the United States.
Forty years ago they were an isolated
community, keeping themselves careful
ly aloof from all civilized nations. To-
day their clothing. institutions, ways
and manners are copied from our own.
The first of their race who came over
here were a troupe of acrobats; now
there are more than so, 900 within our
borders. In this city theyjhave a club.
many stores, offices, and boarding houses.
They prosper in their new home, and form
a very good element of our population.
| run across their Consul here quite Of
ten. He has o queer name, Sabnro
FuJn, but be is a very delightful person.
lie belongs'to the highest rank in Japan.
holding a position corresponding to that
OF a Duke in Great Britain. His culture
IS famous atlhome, he having carried off
the leading honors of the schools and
college where>he studied in both Japan
and England. He is about forty-fve
years Of age, is ruddy, smiling and we'll
led and speaks our language like a ma
tive He enjoys our music and drama.
and IS a frequent visitor to our leading
houses OF amusem.nt.-Neo York Star.
Orange County observer. [volume] (Hillsborough, N.C.) 1880-1918, 1890-04-05
SELECT SIFTINGs.

MI. Simmons, of Roswell, Ga. caught
lo' opossums during the past winter.
A Pennsylvania insurance company
Will hereafter insure against winds.orns.
=. S. Chapman, of Waterbury, Conn,
has q clock which has licked off the time
without stopping since 17ss.
Judge Thomas Bouldin, of Charlotte
county, Va, owns a plantation that has
been In the family 146 years.
a bald eagle, whose wings were ten
leet across, was shot recently near Louis.
lana, No, by Absalom Davis.
Mrs. W. P. Miller, of Buchanan.
Mich, has borne nine children in seven
years, including four pair of twins
A. s. Clough, of Prescott, Ariz.. drives
q team OF mules that are thirty-three and
thlrty-fre years old They are still good
workers.
Poet Temyson has given his autograph
to only 500 people since he became
famous. He has had at least 100. 900
applications.
Fook Toy was.recently. divorced from
took Han at San Jose, Cal. This was
the first Chinese >divorce case on record
in California.
A very small bird, of South Africa is
the Mahall weaver, but it lives in a very
large house shaped like an oil flask, which
it builds itself.
The authoritiesaat West Point have
grown tired Of having soldiers widows on
the military reservation, and an order
has been issued ewicting them.
A Cadillac (Mich. man owned a hen
which got the gripa few days ago, sneezed
violently for several hours and at last be-
came insane, after!which it died. 4
III Maine sprucegum now brings to the
men who gather itsfrom $3.50 to $3.50 a
barrel, according Ito quality. A barrel
weighs, about one ;hundred and seventy
pounds.
A Ridgeway PENN physician, saws
that olive'oil is an antidote for rattle
snake poison. Half a dozen tablespoon
fuls are sufficient, he declares, to cure
any case ofzsnake bite.
There issa lady living in Augusta,
Me-, who iStln her seventies and is cut
ting a new set of teeth. Several months
ago the gums became painful and in a
short time the new,teeth began to an.
pear.
At santa.Cruz, CAL, during the food,
a little child gathered a small pile of
wood, and for fear some one might take
it went home and got a piece OF paper
and wrote on it: "This wood was got
by me for grandma; please don't steal |
it"
At Bruenn, Austria, burglars have cir
cumvented the use of shutters for store
windows by cutting a hole in the glass
through the little round hole left in the |
shutter for ventilation, and then fshino
for the valuabless inside with a hook and :
line.
A resident of Massachusetts, came near
going through life with a name that
would have made him miserable. The
name was Lynn c. Doyle, and, strange
to say, no one present at his baptism no
ticed the strange tsound it made when
pronounced.
DR.. Edward, Goertz, a Somerville N
~ dentist, was operating upon, the
teeth of a girl when she was suddenly
seized with an epileptic fit and shut her
teeth down on the dentists fingers SO
that the doctor was compelled to \
forcibly extricate the imprisoned mem
bers, decorating them in a most painful
manner.
Orange County observer. [volume] (Hillsborough, N.C.) 1880-1918, 1890-04-05

-ervlce Is closed angel would cry to angel.
Have YOU heard the news Out Wonder IS
a mother who has Just heard Of her ~wayward
boy srelemptlon. Another prodigal has got
home The dead i alive again and the lost
is found =
Orange County observer. [volume] (Hillsborough, N.C.) 1880-1918, 1890-04-05
His PRAYER Answered.

A certain Chicago citizen enjoys moth.
ing more than he does q romp with hi,
two pretty boys. After supper every
night he has great fun with them. One
evening his wife was taken sick and he
cut short the usual romp, much to the
disappointment Of the boys, who had
been looking forward ell day for hi:
homecoming. He told them it was time
for them 70 60 to bed, and, Ike obedient
boys. they walked Of without a word OF
remonst-ance. Silently they disrobed
and prepared to retire. The larger boy
said his prayer and found his way be.
tween the sheets, Then the little fellow
knel1 down By the bedside, uttered h,:
PRAYER. and added: PLEASE. God. max.
papa funny some more" AID the father
who had been waiting outside the doc,
70 So that they retired al right. over
heard the position and went in and gave
his two boys another great ronp. Tn.
little fellow then retired IN the .rn he.
lief that his prayer had been answered.
Ca,c47o Herald.
Orange County observer. [volume] (Hillsborough, N.C.) 1880-1918, 1890-04-05

Both the method and results when
Syrup fFigsis:aken; it is pleasant
and r~efreshirgto the taste, and acts
gentlyyetpromPtiy OF the Kidneys,
Liver and Bowels, cleanses the sys-
TEN e.lectually, dispels colds, head
aches and favers and cures habitual
constipation. Syrup Of Figs is the
only remedy Of its kind ever pro-
cucci, pleasing to the taste and ac-
ceptab!e to the stomach, prompt in
lts action and truly beneficial in its
effects, prepared only from the most
healthy and agreeable substances.
Its many excellent qualities com
mend it to all and have made it
tie most popular remedy known.
Syrup Of Figs is Cor sale in 500
and 81 bottles By al leading drug
g'sts. Any reliable druggist who
may not have il on hand will pro-
caro It promptly for any one who
wishes to try i Do not accent
any 2ahstitrte.
c6LL"Cahia re syrup CO.
5<9 5a4hcIccG. cil.
sSo'1:HlS. ~ -" Yosx. ~
Orange County observer. [volume] (Hillsborough, N.C.) 1880-1918, 1890-04-05
REN.IDR. TALMAGE.
TIE BROOKLYN DIvINE's SUNDAY
SERHCN.
subject Parents Treatment Of Chill
drcn

an
~ parents "aAt t,-T c0' Ken u turn
out vel ~if9"eye. r'7i'v f1rh.~ an fn1tna,
''aS nj d2t.- '9f".~-iro-. The want t.ail
~ 'siI db'9h'-r~ = u, -pl-3I. uy. IN L
forty N1r~ - a.. r,,r.t,.
'iti'lt,lD tD"tns"lgr- aftej that tle,r a.ie.
w. S',.Iie ar Tor their clIidt.n some q
'n|'ii I'm. h4nl-- mjictts thl4 The name
~ Abnss inlisat- H ia-az. lap4r IN
am ab43afi iattl nor fc,hels low
f"i-' m 4 rtirn'2! delight #a, Sli mon T.
pa,l1 Ahi samuel :, IIaauah and Jo,.pl
1,pJa'1 z =" ct earfhis -'ah ti,a, a fatheI
~ : I'm ~ ! 2 <'1i sn ana "a" troqy--t
'lH n''1sf hf@ - 1rt3 Anl dyan The g,raf
~ yealt =, tt'at gk Il grateful .Gfl :
bdf J, !, n1' 4 rae thing tlfif I p.,,l- H.
'lfi M 93f.l tue ynratt- arp tt.uI--iv4<
:" iiianl" 49, person. .,In-na.., b.-.,,4.
.tuNl 1t'.7 hnl >aanr. ~! ~. ciIhi!-n have
'h'i hai"i iai Nth ~. an IN. r}.r.
hIr pl9,r-9ul" - 'itsaLr"-a ~. III thay hay.
n"hI.F ifaFfn ar 3an~ home, The YOUNG
"''''i'' mar ".tA "hp'n tis. an me Uy.S
9'aH'iH ~ btsta.r he has boon SD =. = All
m Iii" 1t the gpuu. wife c.ring fr,n
'H't'pt E@ae@hlli can hardly .q.II,.. - AMI
~"pttluIc~ almost erie. no aya- my
AMI when lutte children oaf}.r ,b.
mouse theE arr rfraii y tho ,et.rtI ,.,r;
hrch, "hp has Forgotten HAT h. 49,. "a /,
'iiiid himself ant cannot to1.t 1arl o.
'h'ihreh should ever wan. 10 r,ay hil. oaj
~'ek ~ roll h14ltor z, Eitr ai,I H. l,.ron,.s
nli',4eh' ~ ~" sound from tie nursery ami
ShohtS "lth ~ expenditure II v1i.c thai
"'fi1, hiiil coughing ial nft-or l3jnn.o. af..r
"af4 Hn}s -t0ii that rackntr a.. tt.ti,b
any boy TINT .sei ual,,rl,1l II. erytLIn., II
INC world ilt MT begin 4i,a III u.tjtT,
Indeed. there ~. ct,Llr.r H..
my b. their Iertite far N " HIN
been prpu,gatc.. M lolur,ta3 fr;.,,3 III
thr!stvn Henry wilson VIca. p...Ia, -
Il ! nlted states, N carry life changed III.
Orange County observer. [volume] (Hillsborough, N.C.) 1880-1918, 1890-04-05

Berlin has more telephone subscriber,
than any other city in the world.
Orange County observer. [volume] (Hillsborough, N.C.) 1880-1918, 1890-04-05

To regulate the stomach, liver andbowe's.
Or Pierce Re let> excel. One q dose.
Orange County observer. [volume] (Hillsborough, N.C.) 1880-1918, 1890-04-05

II afflicted with sore eyes use Dr. Thonr-
sons Eye water. Druggist sell at pc Der botf,e
Orange County observer. [volume] (Hillsborough, N.C.) 1880-1918, 1890-04-05

The toper's motto is Live for to-day
but be EMPLOYS two ds-
Orange County observer. [volume] (Hillsborough, N.C.) 1880-1918, 1890-04-05

The punte 5 ot Vienna, Austria. have
struck Tor higher wages.
Orange County observer. [volume] (Hillsborough, N.C.) 1880-1918, 1890-04-05

during last year sQ64 dogs were killed
officially III Berlin.
Orange County observer. [volume] (Hillsborough, N.C.) 1880-1918, 1890-04-05

Tie author OF "Old Oaken Bucket ev1
d,atly did not behave In letting well enough
Alone
Orange County observer. [volume] (Hillsborough, N.C.) 1880-1918, 1890-04-05
EXCELSIOR IRCUBsT0R

&1YlEG, Simple, Perfect sse t-lf Iseai.tsS. 4 -
2f=s dreds in successff Il or"rkttnH- t4-rsrf.sI
" 20 Eatca larger p@Te@atsse { r.r+a s-sy,
at .ess coat thaa = ' - Eetra- r-i
fN' - &C for llius CatA sEa E44uL. O. l.ry.u-
Orange County observer. [volume] (Hillsborough, N.C.) 1880-1918, 1890-04-05

At Bruenn ,!Austria, burglars have cir
cumvented the use of shutters for store
windows by cutting a hole in the glass
through the little round hole left in the
shutter for ventilation, and then fishing
for the valuabless inside with a hook and
limo
Orange County observer. [volume] (Hillsborough, N.C.) 1880-1918, 1890-04-05

DIT. Edward'Goertz, a Somerville N.
~ dentist, was operating upon. the
teeth Of a girl when she was suddenly
seized with an epileptic fit and shut her
teeth down on the dentists fingers SO
firmly that the doctor was compelled to
forcibly extricate the imprisoned mem
bers, decorating them in a most painful
manner.