Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1890-11-04
ICopyrIght hy Edear M M

back as Rome City, Ind, | would have
hesitated in selecting Maine as a site for
my own birthplace
Had known that there. where benefi-
cent sunshine wooes from its hiding place
the scarlet which mantles to the brow of
the wintergreen berry, and where the
crystal sap of the somber spruce tree
comes forth TO gladden. the heart and
stimulate the salivary glands of ma
tons yet unborn; that in the quiet of
some hOtbed of shingles, where the
white birch spool is made. or where the
scream of the sawmill or the snore of
the shingle mill salutes the balsam bur
dened air, would spring up, with blood
IN his eye and side whiskers on his front
teeth, cruel and corpulent car who
would enjoy biting old people, would
have controlled myself and been born
elsewhere.
Maine is the hotbel of progress and
American freedom. Everything in Maine
Is free except rum. The work of giving
to the colored man the divine right of
voting, rs he was requested. was inaugu-
rated and assisted in Massachusetts.
which was then part of Maine. Free
dom has always been characteristic of
Maine-freedom to be, to do or TO suf-
fer; freedom to be born there and then
go west to grow up with the country:
freedom to remain there and behave
ones self or go away to some other state:
freedom to fish, cut bait or go ashore.
and freedom to utilize her hallowed
precincts as birthplace, provided they
be returned in good order as when first
received.
1t Is, then, to me a most serious and
most bitter truth that comes to me now
knocking for admittance at the storm
door of my recently refitted and refur-
nished temple of reason. 1t is the great
sorrow of "a lifetime to know that in
Maine, where the only true, deep and
earnest dried apple pieof the great work
aday world was first discovered. there
should arise a middle aged ear with a
knout in one hand and an OK CAD in the
other, at the end of which is a sharp
brad three-fourths of an inch in length.
And what is it to be a car? Ask of
the blood spattered history of Europe,
where you cannot even trust hen to
lay for you pure and noble egg. Ask
the man whose life is today imbittered
by shivering fears and the chilling hor-
ror that even his own long trusted hens
must be watched lest they insert some
deadly poison in an egg while prepar-
ing 1t for use. Ask him at night as he
cooks his own supper over a kerosene
oil stove because he dare not trust the
n gla Asl- h.,
laces his sheet iron corset and hangs it
on chair, or jumps into his Mosler
folding bed and screws the copper COW
erlet down so that people cannot stab
him m the night. Ask him as he runs
his eye carelessly over this column
which am now writing, and then blots
1t out by means of his mucilaginous
| roller and n handful of black sand, re-
gardless of a deep and earnest kick of
our entire list of shocked and outraged
subscribers in his empire!
This is not in the nature of a threat
but in order to lead up to the great ques-
ton whittier are we tending Is the
time coming when one man is to have the
responsibility of this mighty government
upon his shoulders? Is the day at hand
when one man Will have to be respon-
| sible and have to personally pay all the
bills of the government? Are we to be
ruled by one man who will not even al
low us to think disrespectful thought
of him without danger of the knout?
Think of the time, dear reader, if it
must come. when a nice, pleasant old
gentleman like Mr.. Holman, of Indiana,
may become the parent of disrespect-
full thought regarding the car In fancy
can see William now, brought forcibly
along the aisle, clutching eagerly and
yet impotently at the desks and clothing
of members as he is dragged to the desk
of the speaker, with his tongue hanging
out like that of hunted stag at a stag
| party. Then in fancy see him com
PEELED to remove his Prince Albert coat
and vest, and then remove sufficient of
his shirt so that the car can get at it
with his knout! Then | hear the loud
and echoing PUNK of the knout as it de-
sends upon the spinal xylOphone of the
great Director!
Oh, it is too terrible to think of! 1t is
too sad to anticipated Let us hope that
the day may be longer in coming than
some OF the papers go on to state
Whit IL the general tendency of the
nour in other countries2 Is it not toward
the dissolution of empires and the dis.
ruption Of dynasties? Most assuredly it
is. Moreover. the monarchs themselves
are not mt all feeling well The king of
Holland is quite ILL., His victuals in
stead of doing him good seem to be pro-
ductiye of boil in the stomach He is
often heard to wish that he was dead.
and his staff have promised so far as
possible, to crafty his every wish
The king Of Spain is brunette glut-
ton from quite distance up the creek
He founders himself almost every day.
and then murmurs because he can con-
tain no more. His doctors bills, they
say, would buy a good COW every year
He hates books and enjoys nothing but
feeding He takes no interest in his nice
new clothes, but constantly his ear is
strained to catch the sound of the 12
o'clock whistle, which announces that
the hands at the castle have knocked off
for dinner. He then blows off the royal
digester to square meal. to use crude
AmericanisIn.
The king Of Dahomey has had both
his own and his wife's relations strained
by France, and war is almost inevitable.
He knows also that it viii be one of
those disagreeable wars in which he will
nave the excitement of getting some Of
his most Indispensable brains shot out
without the glory Of a victory. Though
he may think he is right. and that it is
better to be right than to be relative
of the executive, he is almost certain to
get done up by France. and go home
carrying his largest brains in a collar
box.