The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1890-09-21
CONFIDENTIAL CHAT.

| A story is going the rounds Of the press
that is good one, and had any but min :
lister of the gospel been selected as the
| hero, should feel inclined to believe it.
However, it may just as well be told again,
and our readers may take it with such an
amount of salt as they choose 1t is to the
effect that merchant in prohibition town,
where the sale OF everything intoxicating
was prohibited by law, made large de-
mand for coccanut, and built up a lucrative
business by emptying the nuts of their
contents and substituting whisky. One
day the minister of the place dropped
into the store and bought a crcoanut The
merchant was in despair, and surprised the
preacher (and everybody else, for that mat
ter by telling him the nuts were not good
enough for the clergy. Taking one up and
shaking it. the minister said he wanted a
cocoanut very badly, and would take
| chances on it being good one The mer-
chant could do no more, and off went the
reverend gentlemen with the loaded nut
For some time the merchant spent anxi-
GUS days and sleepless nights, until finally
there came dispatch from the minister.
With trembling hands the merchant tore
1t open, and he clutched the counter fof'
support as he read: "Send me six more
cocoanuts exactly like the one purchased
from you the other dayn
pointer for future Judges of election ::
"The statutes of the state are framed to Sc
cure an honest election, and any Judge TAX
ing from or adding to the ballots or allow
ing another to do SO, is guilty of crime
for which the penalty is not less than two
or more than seven years in the penitenti-
airy. n-Judge Zane r
st. Louis man has recovered six cents
for libel made against him by newspa-
per. After few more such terrible pun
ishments as this, says the Lawrence Ameri-
can, editors will begin to find out that thew
cannot monkey with mans honor with
impunity.
That was funny scene in court Fri
day-to all, at least, except two, the de-
PENDANT and his versatile attorney.
The Daily R'tt is once more posing as a
friend of the worlzingmen. Rats!
The big increase in the ore and bullion
output is extremely gratifying to every
man interested in the prosperity of Utah,
and the west.
Gambling on the ground floors and within
sight of the patrons of the bars is now, the
fashion.
Ogden is to be congratulated on the fact
that in few months she will indulge in
the luxury of electric street cars. She will
realize then what Salt Lake does
| now, that they do more for the
town in which they are introduced than
all the putting and blowing that could
be crowded into the col,aS4s- of all the
eastern and western papers in existence.
A good electric system of street cars for
| Ogden means an advance of at least ten
years from her present position. The
company who puts in such system will
be entitled to the thanks and the nickels of
the multitude
Has anybody notlced the predicted burst.
| ing of the building boom? z>ou
Salt Lakes reputation as flower centre
extends from the British possessions to
Mexico, from California to the Rockies.
A Touching Reunion. Poet: Well, what
do you want, calling me up at this time of
night?
Poem-I am one of your POEMS
Poet-Oh no, you're not. 1 never saw
you before.
Poem-Really, sir, an. Pm "Spring
time, Do not Daily on the Way You
wrote me last year.
Poet-You? What has changed you so?
Poem-Alas! l have been copied by all
the country papers on the continent. l
could not help it. 1t is they who have
brought me to this low estate.
Poet-Poor fellow! You have suffered.
Come in. You shall have the best waste
basket in the house. My long lost off
spring, enter.-NeW YorIf Sun.
| coming election: "In a government which
rests on the will of the people, the people
should see that that will is expressed, that
it shall not rest upon deception and fraud.
nor on the action OF rascal and wretchwho
attempts to overthrow the expression of
the peoples WILL and thereby commits a
crime akin to treason itself under the gov
eminent which protects him." judge
Zane.
Postmaster Benton is in receipt of bun
die of circulars, which a lady who is about
to open hospital in San Diego, asks him
to ''kindly distribute to his friends and tack
up in places where they are likely to be
SEEM When last seen, Benton, who is
nothing if not obliging, was on his way to
a hardware store. If you meet him today
with mouthful Of tacks. hammer stick
ing out of the pc ,ket Of his Prince Albert,
and roll of circulars in his hand, you may
know he is out on his mission of charity.
"Some thoughtful frend,'' says a Geor-
gia journalist ''has sent US jug of Juicy
mountain dew but as our printer is sick
we shall not be able to do it full Justice be-
fore next week.>A man can't set type and
enjoy life at the same"
Reporter-"What made them bury that
Black street merchant in grave with the
unknown dead forl"
Editor-'I suppose it was because he
didn't advertise. "-Kansus (Iu.) Herald.