Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1890-11-09


tickets az 81 each strictly G. @. ID. | do
not think he will be able 90 dispose OF any
oi them. though thoy are printed in Ror-
ocous autumn tints Of gold and crimson,
and l fancy | SEQ my solitary audience
walking into the lectuTe-roOm with oil Of
chem stuck IN his hat-band and looking
something like "a varicgatcd dahha. But
Nr. Todd won't mind IT, in fact. he is un-
Der obligations 20 me, for when IN Europe
j told tho a.mplc-minded foreigners that
the GallcHOn was the biggest mill on
earth and made q million barrels Of -four
week.
ALL STRICTLY FACTS.
OF course 7 spoke fguratiyely. In deal
ing with matters Of such magnitude absO-
lutte accuracy ls not indispensable. Years
apo the astronomers put the distance from
che earth % the sun at nincty-tiye million
miles. but now they have added little
matter of nine millions. II they continue
20 poke the sun away from us at that rate
his jocund face viii soon be invisible, and
my friends VIII have 10 trOt around IN the
dark, or
Meet me by moonlight alone"
Speaking of veracity. have no apologies
20 make if. having caught my little naked
facts hopping about forlurnly in Europe, !
present them i'm such garb as fancy may
suggest. a" If this be treason make tho
most of IT," Veramty IS an excellent thing
u0 doubt, but some people have such u
stock of II on hand that eyery time they
meet YOU they hat you over the head with
a brutal fact, or knock you down with a
column Of statistics.
SENSIBLE CONCLUSIONS.
Our tour, as originally planned, took in
Switzerland and pant OF Germany. inciud-
ing the Rhine: but learning that Kaiser
Wllhelm's officers were very lnquisitive IN
orIA 20 tfl. RI r.
eelf. ] concluded 60 suub his Majesty 10y
not going there at oil. 50 far az the Swiss
were concerned, they very IncOusidcrably
let their rivers overflow and drown every
body that couldn't swim and those who
were left went TO cutting each others
thrOats about some political question. So.
hCing "a man Ot peace myself, l concluded
60 Dot them fight DO out without any inter
ference on my part.
BARRING the weather. which wos ex-
trcmelv cold for August, our stay IN Lon
ion was, perhaps, the mostagrceablo.. Tho
dignity of hOary age rests upon their IN
5l'ut0ns. and ] soon began 20 be pain
fully conscious of tho frogh varnish and
general newness" of our own political
machine. Their vast buildings are built
o. defy tho ages: their monuments Of brass
and marble perpctuate the fame OK their
noble sons in earliest times, and The dust
of their royal heroes dead five hundred
years before the discovery OF America, ls
previously preserved in splendid mauso-
leums.
FRENCH MANNERS.
But FTanco-"la belle" Francois the
jando Of sunshine and 1owors, of brightness
aud beauty. Paris. decKcd like q bride
and adorned with al that can charm the
fancy, stands foremost among the cities Of
tho world. Tho people who labor seem
only 90 be doing 10 for fun, and nearly
every one D. chatting and laughing and
running gaylv around as II in perennial
search for pleasure. A great deal Is sad
about French pultouc-s and am not dis
posed 20 deny the courtesy of their man
ner Ihoy dOu1t Tia ,leyOu into the gut
FER, rs in New York, and will always stop
90 answer "a civil question, hut they do not
show the Difference Co women exhibited 10y
our own men. audI have yet TO soc any gcn-
tlcman IN France or England surrender ms
scat IN an omnibus or tTam-car to a lady.
The QfcidS including railway and omni,
bus conductors, post-Otice employees, and
last and worst. tho cuatOm-hOuse men
mako no protence of courtesy, or ever
civ.lty. Tho looks and language Of these
latter gentry Will make tho toe of the ave
rage American itch Tor action.
AREAsoSABLE MISTAKE.
You have suppose, noticed the piou.
tone of al my communications. Well. thai
trouble One Sunday afternoon | was lis
tening 90 a sermon at Westminster Abbey
md found my hat very much m the way
Some of the churches in London have
hrasa hooks in front of the pews TO accom-
modate them. AMI with my eyes intentlA
fixed on the speaker tried 60 hang my hal
on one ot Thorn. when the lady IN front o.
me suddenly turned around with mos
indignant look. Alas, poor me Tho h0c
of the pew was open and ! had tried e
hang my hat ON her hustle OF course.
lost no time IN apologlz.ng, and SAID wa
feeling for the hook. "Weil,h SAID th'
lady dryly, there's no hook there" Tea
dAmT.cGiH cert!
"FylL III 10 NM" 90.
On another occasion We were witnessing
The celebration OF high mass ia splendi'
Paris church, and were deeply impressed
by its solemn ceremonies. just az the clos
saw q priest coming through the people
with what / took to he q brown woodel
vessel of holy water. When 10 came TO m
I solcmnly dipped in my fJrehuger, an'
was astonished 20 find 10 III contact, no
with holy water but with the offerings @
the faithful The reverend father prompt
lv suatched away ms leather receptacle a
though he thought l was about so com
the McKnlev tariff on 10, and left my IN
rOceut finger pointing stltly anu conspicu
ouely al tho red nose Of tho beadle VIII
was lust then marching up the aisle
CHANGING at my fair cQmrade q
see whether she had noted my perform
onces / was chagrined 20 find that sh
could watch as well as pray, and that he
countenanco wore a smile that did not en-
nance my peace OF mind. led her forth
with "a a reighboring restaurant and "se
M" a nice dinner During It's consump
tion / sought 20 convince her that II wa
her Christian duty 20 suppress the lat
unhappy incident from her diary, an
not give me away 20 our friends 4
America. But Madame was dyspepti
tina. day. She jeered u tho soup, Will
fed the fish, secuted the beetsteak, ar
ipnored the fruit. Ny enterprise was OF
yiously failure, and "a we meandered
our hotel she uttered an alarming Quott
tion abou, "Naught extenuate, nor augh
Get down IN malice" Under these circuu
stances have thought il best 10 tell ID
story myself in my own verseious manne
Asyour uncle sam. Jones says, III hay
patent on ANYTHING in the world. IT Is o
NY way OF telling things"
WE ALWAYS DOT.
Shortly after the above lanentahle OF
currenco we left Paris for Brussels, havin
first taken an a1ecti0nato leave OF GU
host and bis official staff. FIVE or SIX {
the latter saw us safely 70 our cab an
could no, be consoled for our departuI
until we had bestowed on each and ever
one OF them a small silver keepsake
having thereon the ctfigy and superseril
ton" not Of Caesar. but Of tho late Nap'
leon Ill.
oUR EVERYDAY roCKET-DooE.
Our stay In Brussels was short, but quit
interesting. We visited the Palais de Ju
tice, magnificent stone building on
commanding eminence. Its cost was 81
900 900 and some OF the eourt-rooms wei
truly splendid. There ID also ia course {
construction new post-oflce bulldin
which will be ga ornament TO tho cit
The shops are Overlooking with merchal
disc OF every description, and che has
keep sturdy hold on his pocketbook
49,. ..f.,<. httviu0 tha traftu Eotck keaci