The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1890-04-05
THE ARIZONA KICKER.
4 Few Specimen Bricks OF Western Ed
torial Enterprise.

| "A sDINAW.--Ne nHVe luAb ClOSeu y
bargain with Henry Shane, the we'll.
known contractor and builder, for one.
story addition to the rear end of our
office, to be 11x14 in size. This room
will be used as gunsmith shop under
our own personal management. This
will give us, under one and the same
roof, great weekly paper, a job and
book office. a grocery feed store, a
hardware store, butcher shop, u boot
and shoe store, a signal station and q
gun shop. Three years ago, upon ouI
arrival in this town, we slept under q
wagon for the first three nights, and the
first money we had was borrowed dol.
lar.
''Is 1t any wonder that our moon.
eyed, lantern-jawed, mule-eared con-
temporary down the street gnaws file
all dav and has the collie all night?"
"ALwAYs AHEAD. = Next Monday
morning an artist and engraver from
Chicago will arrive in town to accept OF
n position rendered b7 the Kicker. We
are the first to introduce real artist
into Arizona, as we are the first to lead
the way in all other good things Here
after all matters of local Importance,
but more especially street rows attended
with loss Of life, will be illustrated in
the highest style of the art, thereby in
creasing the value of the Kicker to
subscribers by at least 100 per cent,
while the price of subscription will re-
main at the old figures"
1.-THE CALLED JADE.-It has so hap.
! pened, every time we have been OBJ
liged to kill man in this town in self
/ defense, that the coroner and every
/ body else was in great hurry, and that
, the body was buried in the most con-
/ venient place. Last week we were
struck with the idea of getting them all
( together in one common spot, and we
! bought an acre of sand lot of Colonel
! Hawkins for ground work. Our green
/ eyed contemporary got hint of what
| was up, and he went blowing around
town and did his best to head us off; he
! failed, however, and during the thaw we
/ had the five bodies taken up, removed
to what is already known as The
| Kicker corral and each grave desig-
mated with white headboard with the
name painted neatly thereon. In the
spring, we shall see that each grave is
covered with trailing arbutus-that is,
if arbutus will trail in this country. The
names as they appear on the headboards,
are: Nose, Pete, Jim, Sam and Jack.
We shall probably add couple more to
the list before the ides of May, what
ever that is"
"THEy DON'T BNTHUsE.-Every now
and then some one who is dissatisfied
with the course of the Kicker bobs up
with proposition to run us out of the
county by establishing a new weekly, in
opposition. He goes blowing around,
gets out prospectus on a broken
backed typewriter, puts his own name
down for So, and that's the last of it..
We've seen twenty such cases in the last
three years, and they no longer make
our hair stand on end and chills canter
up and down our spinal column,
1.-TWO weeks ago we felt it our duty to
caution the mayor of this town that he
was riding a high horse, and that he
must come down to a mule or we'd take
measures to make him. he carried an
old shotgun around for two or three
days, telling everybody he had camped
on our trail, but it finally got too
heavy for him and he sold it for 50
and got out the usual prospectus. We
hear that he has thus far succeeded in
raising 81 and dog towards establish
ing great newspaper here. BY way of
encouragement we'll add second dog,
and we hope the mayor will push his
,,rniart for ol1 ito ,ynrfb
NOTICE. addressing letters
to tho Kicker will please add: United
States of America, Western Hemisphere, '
to the usual directions. The postmaster
in this town is never certain what coun-
try Arizona is located in, and this will
greatly facilitate his labors Of distribu-
tion. The only qualification he has got
for the Office is his ignorance of orthog-
raphy and chirogaphy, and his theory as
to why jackass rabbits were created bob
tailed"
"NoT GUILTY.-As predicted in our
last issue, Colonel McClugg was not held
for the shooting of Dan Tompkins. AS
we were an eye witness to the whole
affair, we felt it our duty to go before
the coroner's jury with our testimony.
Our blink-eyed contemporary down the
street says we did this hoping to in
crease the circulation of the Kicker, and
he is partly correct We never let slip
an opportunity to increase our subscrip-
ton list, and are happy to announce that
three members of the coroners jury
subscribed and paid for year in ad-
vance, while the undertaken who furn-
ished the box has given us six inch ad
to run C. o. d. t. +.
"The Colonel was taking drink at
the bar Of the Gray Wolf Saloon when
Tompkins hit him on the chin with an
onion 1t was brutal and uDcalled-fo
thing, and Tompkins pulled his gun to
back it up. The Colonel jumped be-
hind barrel, pulled his gun and both
fired together. While he only lost
lock of hair, Tompkins got it plumb
center and fell dead. This should be
solemn warning to all his class not to
monkey with gentleman when putting
away an afternoon sustainer. Detroit
Free Press.
How Monkeys Catch Grabs.
The way in which monkeys catch