The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1890-12-03
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Noahs arc-Ihe RAINBOW
Each addition to ones kindred is a
relative gain.
A fiery temper gives adverse criticism
a warm reception.
The cat has nine lives, and spends
them all in vocal culture.
One way Of getting along in this world
is to walk. Detroit Free Press.
There wasn't enough of the Swiss revo-
luton to go round.-Pittsburg Chronicle
Telegraph.
The crab may not be as good eating as
the lobster, but it does very well on a
pinch. .-EImira Gazette.
Ted-''I'm going to run him race
for Dolly's hand" Ned-"Then it will
be sack race for one of ou."--7Ho
Weeks Sport.
She-''Why doesn't Mr.. Mullins go
out into society more9" He--''Bccause
society is always out itself when Mullins
begins calling"
"Well," said the baseball captain,
"our cake is all dough2n tHow do you
account for it9n 1--WE haven't a good
batter. ."-1funsey's Weekly.
Fred-"What is the matter2 You look
positively ILL.," Tom Negatively i'll,
you mean, isn't it9 My best girl has
said no to me. "-Mansey's Weekly.
The oldest inhabitant is an interesting
parsonage; but he doesn't make half as
much noise in his immediate locality as
the youngest inhabitant does..-Pgst.
The man who thinkr he knows it
Upon his nose may take fall;
But he who sometimes is in doubt,
May find that weakness helps him out.
--Puck.
Politeness generally pays. A gentle
man who gave up his seat to lady on
an elevated train, afterward found out
that she had been robbed while occupy
ing it.-Plek.
We are rather at loss to know why
sunlight is so often described as "gold-
en-" The ''silver" moon is accounted
for by coming in quarters and halves
berkshire Neus.
"How long has your daughter been
practicing on the pianol" "ro be exact
she began one month before our neigh
Dor went crazy, and he's been in the
asylum year. ."-FiqaSO.
The Obliging PeddIer-"If you don't
stop talking to me about your wares l
will whistle for my dog" 81 have some
most excellent whistles, sir; just try one
or these. "-Fiiegende Blaetter.
Landlady-"NIr. McGinnis, may ask
what you are trying TO find in that cream
pitcher" Boarder-''I am trying, Mrs.
Irons, to rescue an unfortunate fly from
watery grave. y Chicago Tribune.
Willie took his fathers razor and his shaving
cup
To shave himself last week;
The doctor charged a fiver when he sewed the
gashes up
In little Willies cheek.
"Humph, remarked young man,
''my cigar has gone out" ''Well, that
settles it, replied his room mate. ~
was wondering which Of US it be,
myself or the cigar. - IPasliugt0a
Post.
Grocer-"What's that about the dozen
eggs you bought this morningfN Brown
-"They were all bad except one, aud
I've called to see how much extra owe
gSt ava VIZ 5SOA VASs --f-N 4NfW
Sun.
"This bell, " said we'll meaning sex
ton, when showing the beliry Of an in
teresting village church TO a party Of
visitors, sis only rung in case Of visit
from the lord bishop Of the diocese, a
fire, a flood, or any other such calami-
ties. - London Figaro
Travers-'sHow much arc these
trousersln Tailor-"Twenty dollars,
sir" Travers-''And you say you re-
quire deposit from strangersw Tailor
--''Yes, SIR" TMvers (warml0 0-HN-
ready l feel myself growing Intimate
with you. ."-Nel0 YORK. Sun.
Briggs-''I want to got some soiled
neckties." /" Astonished Clerk 'soilod
neckties, sir! Soiled, did you ssyl"
BFiggs-That's what. When You call
upon girl four times week and she's
making a crazy quilt, you will ander-
stand that a man has got to bui neckties
at iob-lot prices Or suspend payment -
OlotAisg and fliraisAer,