The Sunday herald and weekly national intelligencer., 1890-06-22


as well as those that are, and the people who |
meet them inquire, "Who's sick at your house," |
There is no use attempting to say it's the stuff |
the winter clothes are in, for nobody believes it.
However, if they come out next autumn without |
showing signs of visits from the moths blessings |
will probably be given to the man who invented |
this stuff, but, no matter what happens, it will |
always he a punishment to smell it.
GIRLS WHO WEAR SHIRTS.
1t was bad enough when the masculine girl |
assumed the shirt and jacket, but now when she
takes off her jacket, switches it over one arm
and walks in her shirt she needs good, strong
dose of the truth, and that is, it's neither decent
nor gentlemanly. She has proven one thing,
however-she has her shirts made in the received
fashion; that is, closed in the back, with the
proper yoke, and buttoned all the way down the
front. All the men who object to washerwomen
making ribbons of their shirts are adopting this
plan, because the lady of the lather doesn't drag
them over an ironing board three sizes too large
for them and tear them in that way. The shirt
wearing girl would like to impress you with the
fact that she is economical, but she isn't. II she
had been made straight instead OF curved she
might have worn shirt day, but nature hav-
ing rounded her out her shirt front breaks, and
unless she wishes to become an awful object she
demands two shirts day, and her laundry bill
is something awful.
woMAN's THINGS COME HIGH.
She is like the summer girl, anyhow-she is a
snare and delusion. The innocent young man
who, more or less affected by the weather and
sunshine, lightly turns to thoughts of love, fixes
his eye upon sweet young thing in cotton
frock and large-brimmed hat trimmed with
roses. He thinks that is the way woman ought
to dress-in something that will wash, and that
she has probably made herself, and hat with
just wreath of flowers around it. Deluded
young person. That gingham gown will never
see the washtub-it's probably made over silk,
| and It costs anywhere from $35 to 500. AS for
the wreath of roses on her hat, it truly is no
trouble to put on, but those delightful limitations
of nature cost exactly $14.75. This price can
be exact about, because had aspirations in the
direction of wreath of roses myself. After
concluding not to get it l had vague idea that
morning-glories would be cheaper, but | found
that, Notwithstanding they got up so early in the
day and shut their eyes so very, very early in the
afternoon the shopkeeper believed for that rea
son they were more desirable, which to him
means more expensive, and he wanted $19 for
them l went without wreath. But don't be-
leve for minute that the woman who has one
got it cheap.
SUMMER SHARES AND DELUsIONS.
Everything with summer before it seems
to be more or less of fraud Summer board
inghouses, summer children, summer frocks,
summer shoes; these last warranted to be
cool, and they show their GOODNESS by shedding
their soles exactly as a snake does his skin, and
you wonder at having paid all your money to
learn that after all going barefooted is the cool
hot DIT ,11o
summer drinks to be avoided. Insidious in
their appearance, looking cool and beautiful,
they simply start in you desire for more, and,
from plain soda to brandy and soda, from ice
cream soda to champagne cup, there is no differ
ence. By the by, wish to say that hokey-
pokey ice cream has gone up penny and it is
now two cents lick. Probably fifty years from
now the richest man in this country will have
begun his career as manager of hokey-pokey
cart The name is more fetching than the dish
itself which has mingled taste of paregorc,
petroleum, and tallow, but after all in getting
this one does get great deal for two cents.
PRETTY woMAN's GARTER.
You go into a shop, you meet your dearest
, friend, she whispers to YOU ''How do you hold
your stockings up?" Then you whisper to her
and she says: "Well, l suppose l will have tc
, you that she has the most adorable pair of gar
, ters, one black and the other yellow, and tina
she don't know what's got into them, but frs
r one then another will slide down, and then he
: stocking goes with it, and in one instance tn,
stocking got as far as the heel of her shoe, anC
} the men on the sidewalk were not the sort tina
: were brought up to believe ''evil to him WIN
g evil thinks" and she suffered perfect agony
There is no doubt about it that the ordinar
garter is something to beware Of.
, PEOPLE TO AVOID.
d But there are SO many other things to bewar
of beside the garter and the dog.
Beware of the man who tells you of his wife
A faults.
0 Beware of the woman who announces to yo
r that life Is without flavor, and that if she ha
r only met you before she did John, well-the
o of course it would have been different.
J. Beware of the man, and woman, too, VIII
o always want to borrow little change.
o Beware of the people who are always inYtin
n you to dine with them generally and neve
O specially.
r. Beware Of the milk that is heavenly in hu
g and spiritual in its thickness.
d Beware of losing your temper in hot Weathe
n Beware of the girl with the one white loci
y with painted eyes and a bodice cut low, whic
e she wears on the street
r, Beware Of vulgar things, words and people
y yos would of the gentleman in black and rec
II for vulganty and sin are first cousins. BAB.
" -<-~s~
>, Doing Europe at No Expense.
MT. - FL