davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-02
SOMETHING ABOUT NAMES.
Remarkable Condolences Recalled By th
Death of Adam Forepaugh.

Remarkable Condolences Recalled By the
Death of Adam ForepauEh.
Philadelphia Inquirer.1
The death OF Adam Forepaugh will recall
the frequency with which this city has sup
piled illustrations of the curious adaptation
of surnames to business occupation. The
explanation usually found for such fitness
is that great many names were originally
derived from occupations, and the number
of such names is so great that, after all, it is
not remarkable that some modern Smith
should return to the occupation of the
founder of his family.
But that the bearer of the name Fore
paugh and the owner of menagerie should
be combined in the same person cannot be
explained in this way. Nor will it account
for the equally striking adaptation of
the nameto the profession of that famous
Philadelphia physician, DR.. Philip
Syng Physick. 1t does not explain
how Prof. Hartshorne came to be q
physician. The ex-President of Select
Council, Mr.. Lex, is a lawyer, as his father
was before him, and the same name trans
lated from the Latin into English has been
borne by another Philadelphia lawyer. The
directory of any large city will furnish
great many similar instances, but not often
where the persons have attained the promi-
nence of those mentioned.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-02
OLD AGE CHEERFUL.
Symposium by Famous Contributors
Upon the Close of Mortal Being.
VERSES FROM TWO AGED POETS.
Whitman Says the End Comes SOOthingly
and Refreshingly.
MLTERIALISTIC VIEWS OF EOLA
rwRIrTEN FOB THE D1sPATcH.J

WRITTEN FoR THE DIsPATcH.I
Two poets have lately put forth. almost
simultaneously, verses containing q singu-
larly similar thought John G. Whittier,
in his SD year, writes of himself as on
shore hearing 'the solemn monotone OF
waters calling unto" him. Alfred Tenny-
con, past 80, rhymes Ofan embarkation upon
food that will bear him "from out our
bourne of Time and Place" The stanzas
are quoted in the article contributed by that
other ''good. gray poet" Walt Whitman, to
the original symposium which we present
herewith to our readers. Whitman's own
words Of prase and poetry are pregnant with
psthos, but illumined by cheerful view of
death in old age. In contrast is the mater
islistic view Of the subject taken by Emile
zola, while from the pen of Ella DietE
Clymer, President of Sorosis, we get
Christian mystic's ideas, and from Frank
FYsll q most peculiar and whimsical &C
count Of an old man who grew youthful un-
til he relapsed into babyhood.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-02
PAGAN BOB FINED.
When He Wanted the Court TO Lend Il
Relented.

When He Wanted the Court 10 Lend II
Relented.
New York Herald.1
Colonel Robert G. Ingersoll would never
be suspected of being respecter Of persons,
for he has such free and easy way of dis
coursing upon religious matters. His legal
protege was Judge Puterbaugh, then a judge
of the Circuit Court at Peoria, Ill. Upon
one occasion, while the judge was en-
gagged in fning q spectator for contempt of
court, Ingersoll offered some gratuitous ad-
vice, which was resented with some show Of
indignation. IngerSoll retaliated by hint
ing that when the Court was fishing in a
political way after the ermine he had not
been so chary about accepting advice. This
warmed the old man up in earnest, and he at
once imposed upon the presumptuous advo-
cate fneoi $10and costs. 1ngersoll fumbled
in his pockets Tor q moment, then walked up
to the bar with outstretched hand and said |:
"Puterbaugh, lend me $10p The stern
expression OF the Court never relaxed for an
instant Turning to the clerk he said !:
''Mr. Clerk, let the record show that Mr..
Ingersoll's fine is remitted. Peoria county
can better afford to lose $40 than can"
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-02
A YOUTHFUL FINANCIER.
A Boy Who Conducts Financial Operations
of Considerable Magnitude.

Boy Who Conducts Financial Operations
of Considerable Magnitude.
New York Star.1
Foreigners have formed an impression
that American children are precocio u.s.
Perhaps that is so. At all events, there is
no better instance of early development
that could be cited than in the case of Dave
Morris, II years old and young
est son of John A. Morris, the
protector of the New York Jockey
Club. Master Dave is an expert with the
violin, and was at one time devoted to anna
teur photography, but when I met him the
other morning on his way to his lawyers
Office, he assumed all the dignity Of man of
affairs. II was not long ago that he asked
his father for a check for $100, 900, and, on
explaining that he wished to study invest
ments, he received it.
Now he diligently scans the money arti-
cles of the great dailies consults at the
breakfast table with his father about Rock
Island extension As and New York Central
debentures, while his lawyer is instructed
to keep him informed OF gilt-edged applica-
tions for loans on bond and mortgage.
Young Mr.. Morris tells me that he has made
but few mistakes, and his father believes
that his indulgence will teach his son the
value of money better than long appren-
ticeship in bankers Office.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-02
GOBELIN TAPESTRY.
Little Of Ir IL Gsnuine-A Curious Biz of
History.

Little Of It IL Genuine-A Curious Biz Of
History.
St. Louis Post-Dispatch.l
Real gobelin tapestry is hard to find in the
drygoods stores. Much is sold as gobelin
tapestry that is not genuine. GobeIin has
quite history, and gave new word to our
vocabulary. A Flemish painter named
Gluck found q process for dyeing .
let, and sold it to Giles Gobelin,
who built q factory in France, where
he made tapestries and cloths of this pc
culiar color. Everybody looked on him as
a crank, and his factory was always spoken
of as "Gobelin's folly" but he made 60
of 1t and his success was 80 great that those
superstitious old folks supposed he was
aided by the devil. The devil was supposed
to have taught him the art Of dyeing scar
let on condition that at q certain time the
devil was TO have him.
When the time was up the devil came
after him, and caught him going through .
yard at night with little piece of lighted
candle in his hand. Gobeliu begged Tor
time, but the devil wouldn't let him have It.
At last Gobelin requested his satanic
majesty to wait until the bit Of candle In his
hand burned out and the devil consented.
The willy old Gobelin, as soon as he got
this concession, threw the candle into the we'll
and pitched the divil in after it. The devil
was very angry, but before he could get out
Gobelin gathered a guard OF enthusiasts
about him and secured himself from any
further attacks.
Now, for the new word. From this story
came the word goblin, ghost or spectef,
and it has become one Of the words OF the
language, but it had its origin IN the silly
story that was told about the man who first
made these tapestries.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-02
WOES OF THE DENTIST.
In \ COnhdiug Moment He Tells Some
Secrets of His OfHce.

In q Conadlug Moment He Tells Some
Secrets of His O1ice.
Boston Globe.I
"a man might as well be hangman as
dentist, as far as expecting any gratitude for
his services" remarked an aggrie7ed mem
Der of that unappreciated profession to
a Globe reporter. II have worked for
hours over a back filling in a womaD's
mouth where had to nearly disIocate my
neck and tie my backbone into bowknot,
and at the end, if 1 ventured to straighten
up with a sigh of relief, I have been re-
warded with a stony glare of indignant
condemnation.
"a woman will stand more pain than q
man, for a woman has an Unborn instinct of
showing herself to the best advantage" he
continued. ga rubber dam or q mouth
stretched to its utmost capacity are not con-
ducive to personal beauty, and therefore
woman will not add the further disfgure-
ment of lack of courage.
II had rather funny experience the other
day with an old darkey who wanted tooth
pulled. His face was elaborately tied up in
red flannel and his expression was the en-
bodiment of woe. The tooth was hard one
to handle, and just as 1 gave it the final
Yank he gave a prolonged howl and fairly
shot himself through the open window,
out on to the shed roof beneath. He
rolled over this roof still bowling, and
finally dropped from It to the ground all
doubled up like black rubber ball. All
this instead of hurting him served to help
his case, for he picked himself up and
walked of apparently sound in wind and
limb and quite regardless of the fact that
he had not paid me.
81 had man once give me more than
wanted for pulling his tooth. He was big,
strapping fellow, and thought the tooth
would never come. The forceps slipped of
three times, but the fourth time clinehed
it. The man never moved or made sound
until the tooth came out. when he doubled
up his fist and landed a blow on my chest
that slapped me up against the wall as fat
al lump of putty. Then ne took his hat
and stalked out, without waiting to see
whether I ever got my breath again or not"
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-02
MRS. GREELEY'S PATIENCE.
An Instance In Which Placid Horace
Pressed lt Too Far.

An Instance In Which Placid Horace
Pressed It Too Far.
New York Herald.l
There are an endless number of stories
hinging upon the peculiarities of the late
Horace Greeley, most of them having to do
with his penmanship. But we know
next to nothing of his home life
and what Mrs. Greeley did with
the great journalist. While living at Chap
Paqua, be formed the habit of taking guests
home with him Unexpectedly, and, as may
naturally be supposed, much to the annoy
ance of his wife. Thackeray told with glee
how he walked into the parlor after the
placid Horace, and how the Journalist tried
to assure a pleasant welcome by greeting
his better half with an efusive smile.
He had no sooner dropped his hat on the
center table than she picked it up and
threw it out of the window. thus mildly ex-
pressing her disgust. Having eased her
mind she saluted the distinguished guest
with becoming gravity aud all was we'll
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-02
HURRYING OUT OF LIFE,
zOla Lays Stress Upon Many FoIku' Impa.
thence for Death.

thence for Death.
Serenity in old age is beautiful, but
some Of US fnd life too hard to bear until we
reach that tranquility. All around me here
in Paris is evidence of this dlstaste for life,
this craving for the rest of the grave. An
epidemic of suicide has sprung up like
plague coming no one knows whence. On
some days the list mounts up to ten suicides,
while the average number is two or three.
Never has the contagion of death
seemed to claim so many victims.
Some, in their misery or madness,
throw themselves from the bridges. Others
prefer the rope. Of poisoning there are
fewer instances; only women still swallow
laudanum or the phosphorus from bundle
of matches, although the latter is sometimes
q successful means of suicide. Women, too,
sometimes open the arteries while in the
bath, and death puts them gently to sleep
under the tepid water. A girl of 16 years,
driven mad by disappointment in love-
chose last week to die in this way.
As to charcoal, it remains the solaee of
the poor, cheap and ever ready cure for
all the ills OF lie. Whenever an odor of
burning issues from under door in the
faubourgs inhabited by the working people,
the first cry is, 'Suicider' They break in
the door, and sometimes arrive in time to
save some poor wretch struggling in the
agonies OF death. Suicide by the knife is
more rare, Tor it requires too much courape
to plunge cleaning blade into the flesh.
A more suitable weapon is the pistol:
it demands only slight movement of the
fnger-even q nervous contraction of
the muscles will suffice. Moreover. in case
the revolver is used, if the first shot miss
fire there are still four or five balls to com
plete the work. Last of all, the public
monuments are no longer used for this
deadly purpose. Scarcely one or two in
stances, each year, can be cited of persons
who have thrown themselves down to the
pavement from the towers of Notre Dame
or from the summit of the Column Ven
dome, and only the closest precaution has
saved the Eifel Tower from suicidal popu-
laritv. 1t is a fine death-this tremendous
jump, this leap into space-thus to plunge
into the vortex Of eternity.
One woman, after eight days vainly spent
in seeking for work, obtained on credit a
bushel Of charcoal, to which she set fire, and
then lay down, claspIng in her arms her two
little children. The next day the three
corpses were found, stiff and livid, and
locked in q close embrace. Two old people
of so years, husband and wife, in their
despair refused to wait until death should
come to them; they were eager to go, and
they wished to go together, SO they in
hieted horrible wounds upon themselves
with a razor. That a man in full vigor,
urged on by the tumult of the blood in
his veins, should wish to check the beat
ing of his heart can be easily under
stood; but at the suicide Of an old man
we feel q sense Of revolt--we ask tine
reason for 50 much impstience when the
miseries Of life are already drained to the
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-02
Of different denominations have monthly
dinners in the interest of church work.
HUMoR IN SPEECH.

Of different denominations have monthly
dinners in the interest Of church work.
HUMoR IN A SPEECH.
"The after-dinner orator may, under cover
OF the special privileges and the hospitali-
ties of the occasion, and with a slight In
fusion OF humor as . sugar coat, speak his
mind and ventilate his views and utter eriti-
cisms, and generally administer the truth
in large doses as he would be permitted to
do nowhere else. With an American audi
ence no speech sticks unless there is some
humor it. With an English audience
humor creates a suspicion that the speaker
may be chatting or is insincere. The reason
is that in one case the audience catches on,
while in the other the humor may be so
taken as to give a reverse impression from
the one intended.
my first speech was delivered at Re-
publican meeting in Peekskill, N. Y, my
native place, a week afte. had graduated
from Yale. had become Republican on
the slavery question at Yale. MY father
and his brothers and their entire families
were Democrats. The change in one men,
Der OF family SO pronounced and active in
their political affiliations created great ex-
citement in the town, and led my hard
headed Dutch father to say: IF you have a
promising son, OF whose future you expect
to be proud, and you want to make id
fool of him, send him to Yankee college
DEPEw's FIRST SPEECH.
"George William Curtis was announced
to speak at this meeting, but he failed to ar
rive. was called out simply to give pub
lieity to the fact that a convert had
been made in our family. To my own sur
prise, and everybody else's, spoke for an
hour and half. Two days afterward, the
State Committee sent me fattering pro-
posal to go on the stump, and that was the
beginning Of what now promises to con-
tinue.
'"The man who eats much or drinks much
cannot make good speech. The old-time
speaking. When Henry Ward Beeeher was
took glass of milk and piece of bread
about o'clock.
FIzz OF THE CHAMPAGNE.
"When I speak at banquet, eat the
same as if were at home, but am careful
about the wine. 1 drink only champagne
and not much of that. The fig is mild
stimulant for me and accelerates the
thoughts. The story that Daniel
Webster could only make a great
speech when full Of brandy, and
which is universally believed, has
sent thousands of young lawyers and clergy
men to drunkards' graves. Very hard
drinkers, after time, can do nothing at all
except under the influence OF stimulants,
but unless man is a confirmed drunkard
the more liquor he takes the muddier his
thoughts"
''My funny stories are made up from incl
dents in my everyday lie, with change of
characters and an invention of dialogue to
fit whatever they are intended to illustrate" /"
His
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-02
A MAN REVERSED.
Singular Phenomena Which Attended an Old
Geutleman's Experiment.

Singular Phenomena Which Attended an
Geutleman's Experiment.
A man who dwells no matter where
Believes maiden living there;
And he would wed her if he could,
And she could let him. if she would,
Without ado or fuss,
Or high degree of rarity.
Their added ages are not great
Yet, when computed separate,
A short half century between
His sixty years and her sixteen,
Howe'er it seems to us,
She deems too much disparity.
A potion learns he how to mix
That will man in age transdx,
To never any older grow
In vital vim or visual show;
One swallow is enough
OF this output of alchemy.
But tits a bumper that he tips
With shaking hands to trembling lips.
$50 haste the maiden's years" says he,
'Until she catches up to me-
And gulps quite all the stuff
SO curious in chemistry.
His overdose takes more effect
Than anyone could well expect
Phenomenally from that day
Time flies for him the other way,
And he, man reversed,
His visage smoothes its wrinkles out,
His Joints forget rheumatic gout,
While one by one he riddance makes
OF olden croehets, qualms and quakes,
And by no ills accursed,
Is jolly in agility.
When fourscore birthdays he can count
His age is half the right amount;
For it is plain to all concerned
His years to forty have returned,
While she is thirty-six
And not averse to marriage.
Although the time is come when he
By hearse conveyed to church should be,
He takes the ride another way,
Not gruesomely, but blithe and gay;
Not in funeral fix,
But in bridal carriage.
The kind of retrograded life
That he is leading while his wife
Grows old as other people do,
Soon makes him younger of the two;
To turn himself about
He tries and fails teetotally;
All doses counteractive lack
Effect upon his set-aback
No drugs that he can blend will send
Him toward his normal la tier end
His efforts past doubt
Are failures antidotally.
At length. together with his son,
He comes of age at twenty-one,
And moving backward through his teenR
He re-enacts his youthful scenes
He is a boy once more,
And to his grandchild brotherly.
His wife. as he regains his past,
Acquires her future quite as fast;
Till he an urchin is at play,
And she q matron old and gray;
The bridal pair of yore,
Get infantfle and motherly,
When added to her sweet sixteen
The signs of threescoTe more are seen,
This strangest of subtractive freaks
Brings sixty years to sixty weeks;
They are minated quite,
With each dear former tie awry.
Yet aroken bonds give place TO new,
And as we bid the two adieu
In cradle and in rockingham
They are no inharmonfous pair;
And for fond goodnight
They sing agoo and lullaby.
FRANK FYALL.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-02
THE POETS CAPTION.


A Death BnuqueI Fresh Pick'd January
1890 by Walt Whitman.
Death-too great subject to be treated
so-indeed the greatest subject-and yet ]
an giving you but few random lines, col
lecteana, about it-as one writes hurriedly
OF the last part of letter to catch the clos
ing mail. Only trust the lines, especially
the poetic bits quoted, may leavea lingering
odor OF spiritual heroism atterward. For
am probably fond of viewing all the great
themes indirectly, and by side ways and sug-
gestions. Certainly music from wondrous
voices or skillful players-then poetic glints
still more-put the soul in rapport with
death, or toward it. Hear a strain from
Tennyson's late "Crossing the Bar"
Twilight and evening bell
And after that the dark:
And may there be no sadness Of farewell
When EN- bark;
For tho from our bourne of Time and Place
The floods may bear me far
hope to see my Pilot face 10 face,
When have crost the bar"
Am starting the sail-crafts of poets in
line? Here, then, a quartain of Phry-
nichus long ago to one Of old Athens ta-
vorites:-
Thrice happy Sophoclesl in good old age,
Bless'd as a man, and as a craftsman bless'd,
he died; his many tragedies were fair,
And fair his end, nor knew be any sorrow"
A happy Ito call it SOY and easy death is
at least as nauch physiological result as a
psychological one. The foundation of it
really begins before birth, and thence is
directly or indirectly shaped and affected,
even constituted, by everything from that
minute till the time of its occurrence. And
vet here is something (Whittier's Burning
DriitwoOd'') of an opposite coloring;
81 know the solemn monotone
OF waters calling unto me;
know from whence the airs have blown,
That whisper of th' Eter lal Sea;
As low my fires Of driftwood burn
hear that Seas deep sounds increase,
And, fair in sunset light, discern
It's mirage-liited Isles of Peace"
Like an invisible breeze after long and
sultry day, death sometimes sets in at last
soothingly and refreshingly, almost vitality.
In not few cases the termination even ap-
pears TO be sort of ectasy. o. course there
are painful deaths, but do not believe such
is the general rule. OF the man. hundreds
myself saw die in the field AMI hospitals
during the Secession War the cases of
marked suffering or agony in extremis were
very rare. Otis curious suggestion OF i'm
mortality that the mental and emotional
powers remain in their clearest through all,
while the senses of pain and fesh-voIition
are blunted or even gomez Then to give
the following, and cease before the thought
gets threadbare:
Now finale to the shorel
Now, land life, finale and FAREWELL
Now, Voyager, departl (much, much for thee
is yet in store;)
Often enough hast thou adventured Ger the
seas,
Cautiously cruising, studying the charts,
Duly again to port, and hawSer's tie returning
But now obey thy cherished secret wish,
Embrace thy friends-leaVe all in order:
To port, and hawser's tie, no more returning
Depart upon thy endless cruise. old SailorI
WALT WHITMAN
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-02
Insurance AEnInst Cyclones.

81. Louis Post-Dlspatch.J
The recent cyclone caused wild rush Of
people to insurance offices to have cyclone
clauses inserted in their policies. or course
insurance companies very readily granted
the request, as it means money tor them
last Sunday seldom visit st. Louis, yet when
they do come other people have gotten over
the fright and neglected to have the clause
added.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-02
HOW TO SERVE WINES.
Rules Covering the Classic Theory for the
Dinner Hour.

New York World.l
The classic theory Of serving wines ct a
dinner is the following:
Immediately after the soup dry white
wines are offered, such as French wines,
Marssla, sherry, Madeira, dry Syracuse, etc.
With the fish dry white wines are also
served. With oysters Chablis is preferred.
With relieves Of butchers meat and warm
entrees red wines-Burgundy or Bordeaux.
With cold entrees and other cold pieces
fine white wines are served.
With the roost come the fine Bordeaux or
champagne wines, or both. With the en-
trements, champagne alone. With the des-
sert, hqueur wines. such as Frontignan,
Lunel, Alicante, Malvoise, port, Tokay,
LacrimA- Christi, etc.
The red wines ought to be drank at a tenn
perature of about 800 Fahrenheit. White
wines should always be served cold.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-02-02

"How tidy are these honest
homes
In every part and nook
The menfolk wear q pros
porous air,
The women happy look.
Seeing the peace that smiles
around,
I would our land were
such
Think as you may, I'm free
to say
I would we were the
DutchP
Just then we overlook a boat
(The Golden Tulip hight)-
Big with the weight of mot
ley freight,
1t was a gOodly sightl
Meynheer van Blarcom sat
on deck,
With pipe in lordly pose,
And with his son of twenty
he played at dominoeS.
Then quoth my wife: "How
fair to see
This sturdy, honest man
Beguile all pain and lust of
gain
With whatso joys he can;
Methinks his spouse is down
below
Beading a kerchief gay
A babe, mayhap, lolls in her
In the good old Milky Way.