Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-10-14

THE man who kicks an inoffensive dog will
strike a woman.
THE Congressional Record contains foot
marks instead of marginal notes.
It's hit or miss with the ball player all the
time.
Y STANDS for Beach. who took an oath,
y for Odell, who to speak is loath;
X stands for Humes. who gave Lew tip.
The whole solves the puzzle, now let her rip.
GREEK roots will not keep man from
starving.
WHEN you are counting girl you never &C
cuse her of talking too much.
THE lake port editors are jumping on the Erie
Canal project. OF course this is what we must
expect Anything that will help Pittsburg at
the cost of those towns will be ridiculed. Push
the canal project just the same. Pennsylvania,
aye PittsDurg alone. is rich enough to dig the
ditch without asking help from the outsid..
IT will not cost the European powers any
thing to protest against the tariff. Talk is on
the free list.
THE woman who can solve some of the pat
tern plates published in the fashion journals
has great head for puzzles.
Now Brooklyn is going to have homemade
census. Let's try it here, just for fun.
SHE can paint she can crochet
She can pGrlez pous Frdncdtse,
She can sing like the flute-throated linnet;
She is good at bowls and tennis, 80
But as a cook her name is Dennis,
For can absolutely state she isn't in 1t.
FIRE low. A ricocheting ball hits hard, but
high one only whizzes overhead and leaves
nothing behind to mark its passage.
OCTOBER is a raining beauty, to be sure.
BEAR in mind the fact that while you are
pointing out faults in Others some other per.
son is engaged in the same work. and you are
the victim.
AS SOON as Congress adjourned and base
ball closed the country became aware that it
had President,
LIFE can be woven to order. The shuttle is
in your own hands.
It's strange how a sly thief can pick a wo-
mans pocket after her husband wastes an hour
or two valnly trying to find where it is located.
THE Rynder labor party does not need pal
ace car to travel over the State. One seat in
coach holds the movement and the baggage.
THE baseball managers are playing the same
old game.
A PHYsIoGNoMIsT can analyze a SMILE So
can chemist Both may be found to contain
snake, too.
SOME of the theatrical companies are hang.
ing Oh by the bill boards They will soon break
up.
If you tax your energy too much your health
will be the collector.
THERE is an hour in childhood days
Which young girls fondly bless;
It's when they tightly pull their stays
And don their first long dress.
THE first swallow sometimes makes bum
mer.
AN American in Germany got into jail
through saying 81 sneeze at your Emperor"
William is not TO De Sneezed at
THIS is the last week of the Exposition.
Give it parting crush. Crowds can't hurt it.
IF cannibals ever catch a burlesque actress
they will have to skin her twice.
SMALL-MINDED people generally shrink out
of sight.
A BOSTON girl has furnished her bald d-headed
lover with wig made from her own hair. She
must feel sure of his love. even If she only
holds it by a hair
OUR imports exceeded our exports about
IS. 100000 last month. Next month the boot
will be on the other foot. Tariff will cause the
shift.
THE iron men have left Pittsburg, but the
ironing men have arrived. The laundrymen
have no dirty linen to display. This is where
they differ from the politicians.
BUCK KILGoRE's boot is on exhibition at a
Texas fair It's not often that Congress
gaiter grows SO famous.
KENNEDY's "expunged speech is out in
pamphlet form. It's sort of Bob-tale supple.
ment to the Congregational Record.
THE New York papers are still asking ibid
Kemmler suffer?' He didn't suffer one-third
as much as his victim nor any more than he
deserved.
AN American lady in London wears her
pearls in rope around her waist. She must be
in peril when on parade. London thieves are
desperate.
In daylight they say its their dumping, their
dear,
Mamma laughs and calls 1t her Joy;
But when papa parades in the night it is
clear
That he's not on good terms with his boy.
PEOPLE who augur disaster when all is
pleasantness are pessimistic bores.
WILLIE WNKLE,