Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1890-11-15
CURRENT HuMoR.


this bill of SO that have called on you
half dozen times about. and this is my
last visit Sr. Doctor-That's right, sir.
charge 81 visit, and we'll now call it
square.
Western Visitor--Just add some stewed
tomaytoes to my order Boston Waiter
~ suppose you mean tomahtoes. West
ern Visitor-Well. maybe do. and
while you are about it bring me some
fried potahtoes.
An Old Maxim -Watchmaker-Th The
first time cleaned your watch it was in
a gold case, the next time in q gold
filled case. aud now it's in a silver case.
H. A r. ID Uppe-Yes, sir; "circum-
stances alter cases. you know Jewel
ers' Weekly.
People build too fast nowadays
There's house up in Spuyten Duyvil
went up in three weeks "That's moth
ing. ! know of fire proof flat that
went up in three hours, and the owners
had their insurance within a week. ~
[Harper's Bazaar.
She--It is not right for you to be fiirt-
ing with young ladies, particularly when
you were married only last week. He
by Jovel that's so; have forgotten
all about it Please excuse me for my
absent mindedness.
Mr.. Hayseed (buying a cigar)-I hope
this amt one o those weeds that burn
out in no time at all want a good
long smoke. Tobacconist very impress
sively)-Mine friendt, dot segar will last
till you vas sick of it.
Il suppose that YOU will soon find
somebody to fill my shoes. said Mrs.
Blankins, who hadn't been feeling we'll
4 doubt it very much. ~ And he looked
at her feet SO significantly that she en-
tirely lost her temper.
Mammal hope my little boy while
dining with friends remembered what /
told him about not taking cake the Sec
ond time? Little Boy-Yes, mamma,
remembered, and took two pieces the
first time. -lChicago Post
His Favorite Hymn -Shattuck-You
must have made some money in sugar
trust, Dinwiddie? Dinwiddie-W What
makes you think so? Shattuck-You
are always humming 1.-THE Sweet Buy
and Buy. "-IChicago Inter Ocean.
Mrs CrabbIey-Did you hear the Wig
gins dog howl last night? Crabbley-I
did; and / believe it to be sure sign of a
death in the neighborhood. Mrs Crab
bley--Do you, really? Whodo you think
is going to die9 Crabbley-That dog.
Il have neither time nor inclination
to pass paregorics on the deceased, re-
marked a Southern funeral orator.
"Psnegyrics. corrected person pres
emf @As you please, sir, remarked
the orator stifiiy; @the words are anon
ymous.
"Hypnotism is a great thing. can
hypnotic any one. and what l desire
the subject to do he does. See here,
professor, said the little tailor. "pll
give you 10 per cent on all the collec-
tions you can hypnotize out of my GUS
toners. "-[Harper's Bazaar.
His Error. .-Peddler lin conciliatory
tone)-I presume those lovely children
in the yard are yours, madam? Madam
(frigidly)-I have no children. Peddler
Pardon me; since ! see you more
closely see that the brats could not
possibly be yours.-[Judge.
IL am sorry to see. young man, that
you wear an artificial leg. @Yes, sir;
it's the result of that big fight at Gettys-
burg ~How old are your" twenty. !"
~Why, you were not born when that
battle was fought "True; but my
father was there inherited the leg
from him"
First Small Boy-Say, Johnny, don't
sling them old chicken heads over in our
front yard. Second Small Boy-Why
not? First Small Boy Gn sepulchral
whisperl-'Cause the minister is in the
house, and if he should see 'em he'd stay
to dinner, and there's only one pie!-
Light
A Suspicious Question. Colonel
Hooks Well. Pete, offered S. reward
for the return of the dog; and as you g
brought him in here's the money. Pete
JacIEsing Thanks, boss; an say--if de
dawg dun got stole-dat am, lost, agin,
would yer offer de same reward agin,
sah?-[Lght.
Deacon Young man, think will
give you an order. but / much fear that
you have not told the exact truth re-
garding your goods. Drummer-Well,
sir, the fact is have not Why, sir.
(sinking his voice to a whisper) were to
tell the truth about these goods. I'd be
murdered for my samples before /
reached the next town
Miss Terriut-When mommer and
were in Yurrup, oh, the awfulest thing
happened There was prince-and a
count-and-and they fought a duel
about poor me-with pistols Yabsley
--Ahi were they loaded? Miss Terriut
No, they weren'tl They were just as
sober as could he. indianapolis Jour
nal