Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1890-08-08
Mr.. AND MRS. eowsER.

The Latto- Tells How tho Former Moved
the Hall Coal Stove.
Last fall Mr.. Bowser put base burner
In the front hall to keep it at a comfort
able temperature during the winter, and
when the spring came nothing was said
about moving the stove. It was not in
the way. We had no place to move 1t
to, and when summer came without Mr..
Bowser having said anything about
removal felt perfectly assured that he
would leave that stove alone. Great
was my CONSERVATION, therefor e, when
he suddenly observed the other evening
as we roasted on the front steps:
"Well, well, but how absent minded
l have become! Why didn't you call
my attention to the fact that that coal
stove had not been moved out of the
hall?''
because it is to be left there"
Not muchi People must have thought
us queer family to haveit there as long
as we have"
Mr.. Bowser, that stove is not in the
way, and it is not an eyesore. Besides
we have no place to store it"
lit goes to the barn Of course"
Mr.. Bowser, you can no more move
that stove than can fly"
Cant /? can do it with one hand
tied behind me, and I'll go right at it."
Mr.. Bowser, remember that / pro-
test"
Certainly. You are the great Amer
lean protester, anyway. If killed fly
you'd protest"
went back to the steps, knowing well
what would happen, but l felt that l had
done my duty. l heard him fussing
around for while, and then he muttered:
''She's purity hefty, but she's got to
come out o this"
Ten seconds later there was a wild
whoop, and when got into the hsn Mr..
Bowser stood ON one foot and was shak-
ing the other in the air, while the top
of the stove lay on the floor. He had
pulled it off at the first grab.
"Thunder-and blaZes-and Jewhit-
taker-and Texas-and Jemimav' he was
yelling as he waved his foot aloft.
Didn't 1 tell your 1 queried, as l
looked at him.
NO! Never! You never said a word
not wordr'
Now, will You let that stove alone?"
mo! I'll take it out Of here if / die
for itr'
Mr.. Bowser, this pig headed obstinacy
of yours will surely lead to-
None Of the Bowser family were ever
yet iowned by coal stove, and it's too
late to begin nowr'
Another man would have removed the
legs first. He didn't think of it, but un-
dertook to move the stove as one moves
barrel standing on end. He had pro-
crossed about fivs feet when there was a
sound which frightened the whole neigh
borhood.
My first impression was that the gin
ger ale factory in the alley had exploded
and driven our barn up against the
kitchen. My next was that British
gunboat had slipped around from the
Behring sea and dropped a 400-pound
shell on the roof of our house to offset
Mr.. Bowser's assertions that we were
the greatest fighting nation ON earth.
knew what had happened, So did
the cook. So did the neighbors. It was
minute befure eould move, and was
flying indoors when heard Mr.. Bower
utter a strange sound-something be-
tween the last roar of dying hon and
the plaintive moan of a COW for her lost
calf couldn't see him at first. 1t was
all stove, and the stove was on top of
him. Between my screams and the cook g
shouts we got neighbor in, and the
three of us lifted up the stove and drag
ged Mr.. Bowser out.
got the doctor up. No bones were
broken, but Mr.. Bowser had collapsed
like an empty barrel, and every square
inch of him was bruised and poun ded
1t was long after midnight before he
said anything. ! Twas rubbing him with
arnica with one hand and tanning him
with the other, when he looked up and
asked:
Mrs. Bowser, is it fatai."
"Oh, no, dear"
ANY bones broken2'
None"
Ibid the stove fall on me?''
Eyes, dear"
Don't yes, dear me, Mrs. Bower,
for i won't stand it! The scales have
fallen from my eyes at last, and know
you for what you are! A nice job,
wasn't it! Calculated I'd be driven
through the floor, didn't your Hoped to
be widow by this time, Ell? Tomorrow.
Mrs. Bowser, I'll call up lawyer, and
we'll see what's whatr-Detroit Free
Press.