Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1890-01-09
AN UNWELCOME GIFT.
Trials of q Young Man Who Was Made the
Recipient of . Silk Hat.

Trials of Young Man Who Was Made the
Recipient Of . Silk Hat.
ssDid you ever have . friend give you
. silk hat?" asked morose young man
at the club. mo? Well, don't! If one
Of your round-town friends tries to pull
you into hat store and load one onto
you, break away and shun him like the
pestilence. speak from acrid expert
ence. Listen to my tale of woe. One OF
my big-hearted acquaintances q short
time ago bought me an eight-dollar silk
dicer. / thought it real clever Of him
and was grateful. He looked at me so
proudly as we walked down the street
that my heart kind of warmed to him.
But when we got in a crowd Of fellowsNa
little while after and the boys spoke of
the new tile and congratulated me on its
looks the donor Clipped in:
By the way, whenever buy a man
his first silk hat I always give him one
tip. This is it: Whenever you take
your hat off and hold it or lay it down
be sure that the trade mark on the in
side is exhibited. What's the use of
having the best if you don't let people
know it?'
'Of course every body in the crowd
knew then that he had given me this
hat. The next day 1 ran against him
on the street. He stopped me.
"'My boy he said. with fatherly
solicitude, wearing the new hat I
bought you on a cloudy day like this?
You oughtn't to do it. Sure to rain be-
fore night. Wear a derby on rainy
days
''He hustled along, and the country
cousin I had with me asked me if was
of age.
'sMy benevolent friend came into my
Office in the afternoon. There were sew
eral other people present, but as soon as
his eye rested on the plug hung up be-
side the door he said:
Don't you know better'n to hang
that new hat up where the door'n get
slammed back against it and make an
accordion of it? If you don't take de-
cent care of it, I'll never buy you an
other, never!'
''He wanted me to go down the street
with him, and 1 went. On the way
passed several acquaintances with
ladies. and lifted my hat.
You'll wear that hat out in week
if you keep doing that, said the doner. 1t
amt necessary, any way; just give the
military salute; touch the hat with a
sort of courtly wave of the hand. See?
Otherwise you'll have the rim all linn
bered up and shabbyT
ST began to get tired of this. but /
stood it meekly as became man who
had been benefited. That same even
ing went to the theater, and as came
out between the acts and stood in the
lobby talking with a group of friends up
comes my man and says:
&c 4 notice you put that hat under the
| seat. Mustn't do it. Folks kick
through from behind and muss it up. ]
don't want to have to buy you another
one right away, you know. Hold it on
your lap
''Of course this apprised every body
that he was my hat patron. Since that
time he has held me up half dozen
and said something about the hat.
Once it was kick on my tie; it didn't
go well with the hat, he said. Another
time I inadvertently tilted it back on
my head, and was corrected for that.
Then he noticed that it was little ruff
fled and told me to send it down and
have it ironed. It wouldn't cost any
thing, he said, if mentioned his name.
Finally took the blasted hat home and
smashed it with an Indian club. I'm
wearing a crusher, nov, you'll notice.
Before I'd wear another silk hat OF
somebody else's buying 1 would tie my
head up in a red bandana. That goesv'
Chicago Mail.