davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1890-03-19
A Brain-Racking situation.

Did you ever have three clocks in
your house, all running on different
time? If you want to have block of
five and a ffteen-puzzle on your hands
day and night, week in and week out,
try the three clocks.
'sI'm sorry, mum" said the servant
girl of a lady who had three clocks, no
two of them keeping the same time,
''Im sorry, mum, but will have to
give you weeks warning.
Whats the matter, Mary? Isn't
the work light and don't you get good
payP" inquired the lady.
Yes, mum" sobbed the girl, s.but
those three clocks Of yours give me the
headache. I'm always ahead and al
ways behind at the same time. / get
up too early in the morning and stay
in bed too long at the same time. It's
dreadful. | discovered last night that
the three clocks were chasing me all
around the house, trying to kill me.
I'm sorry, mum, but III have to co.
The trouble was only compromised
by the lady running the three clocks
on the same time and presenting the
girl gold watch to run on whatever
time suited her best.
Several calculating machines receiv-
~ tho rr/1d mod al.of fba5 Do ,;o nvrocis
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1890-03-19

William Riley was found dead in his bed at
Watertown. he was hard drinker.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1890-03-19

turned and looked at the actor wy en-
he finished his story, and the truthful
CLEAN in his eye justified me in giving
his narrative to the public. 1t is doubt
less as near the truth as any story could
tell myself. -CAlcaoo Times
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1890-03-19
MONTHS WHALE.
HIS JONAH AND THE FAKE WHALE
MADE a BIG HIT.

flow an Old Biblical Story Became
Adapted to the Uses of tho modern
Drama.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1890-03-19
Always Happy.
First Cave -Dweller Mornin' Mr.

First Cave -Dweller Mornin' Mr..
Vanderbilt!
Second Cave weller-Ahl good morn
In, Mr.. Assure Didn't see you at til,
finance meetin' yesterday.
First Cave weller-N Yer see, me
and Jay had t go down an boom up
them Missouri Pacifcs or we'd lost a
pile. Judge.
She-s'You are very kind to invite me
to go sleighing. but-did your horse
ever run away 2" He-"Often. You
see, I am careless about horses, and Of
ten let the reins fall to the bottom of
the sleigh and drive with my feet" She
-"Pl II 60. ~ r ReskA.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1890-03-19

Several calculating machines receiv-
ed the gold medal at the Paris exposi-
ton.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-06-03
A MANS CHARACTERISTICS.

Some men have no ambition beyond max
ing enough TO buy tobacco.
a man who can't borrow money is willing
TO pay almost any rate Of interest.
Every man nowadays is engaged n getting
up society 10 reform some other man.
How hard the man who paints tries to
bring the conversation around TO artists
The man who talks the loudest on the
streets Is usually very meek when at home.
Some men think that friendship is only
valuable to the extent they can draw upon it.
4 pretty man is vainer than a pretty
woman, and has his picture taken three times
as often.
A man can do almost everything else for
himself, but be has co have help in washing
his back.
Somehow it is impossible 10 admire q thing
q man has without finding out that the man
has one that IS preUtier at home,
A good many men ara like the small boy
who talks bravely Of lighting Indians, but
who is afraid to SO to bed alone IN the dark.
\ good many men who VIII not admit
that they have a conscience, caRloo deny 70
themselves that they sometimes have very
funny feeling inside OF them
You viii find lots Of men who vii admit
that they are not great men today, but you
won't find any who vii! admit that they VIII
not be great men when they are 'app-ecl-
and n-Atchisar Globe
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-06-03
ENGLISH IDiOMS.

a donkey in Eugland is called a moke; in
IL America moke is a negro.
That which is known to Americans as a
pitcher is called jug in England.
The American locomotive becomes engine,
and the conductor IS a guard in England.
What Americans call sick the Englishnan
calls i'll; sickness in England implies nausea
end vomiting.
That which Americans call bowl is known
IS basin in England. In England you ask
for a basin OF bread and milk
American wheat is called corn and Ameri-
can corn is called maize, or sometimes Indian
corn. Pigs feet are called trotters
The American druggist is called a chemist
in England, many of the older practitioners
retaining the Old spelling "chymlst.n
What is known as a hash in England Amer
leans call a stew, and what Americans call a
lash Is known as a mince in England.
That material known to Americans as can
ton flannel is in England called swans down,
and American muslin is known in England as
calico
What Americans call stewing culinary
term the British call simmering The Amer
lean lunch is a luncheon III England, and
baggage becomes luggage.
A ''chilI" is called '.:rigor," and the erup-
ton commonly known among Americans as
''hives' is in England known as ''nettle rash.
Candy is variously known as Sweets"
''sweetmeats" and ''lolly"
What Americans call a telegram is in Eng.
land called a telegraph; it viii probably
never be determined which of these usages is
the better. The American postal card is a
post card in England; cuffs become wrists
What Americans call shoes are known as
boots in England, and what Americans call
boots are known as butchers. There is one
shoe called the hilo, because it runs high from
the heel up back Of the ankle and is cut low
~ front
The word "apt" is exceedingly popular in
England, it is ''apt to rain" 'apt TO be
muddy" a man is APT to go downtown" a
bank Is ''apt to suspend, etc. Even the best
prints use this word as synonyme for
likely and like. Eugene Field in Chicago
News.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-06-03

The best, quickest and most direct line
from Wichita to st. LOnis and all princi-
pal eastern, southeastern and northern
cities.
The Frisco line runs two daily express
trains from Wichita to st. Louis without
change, equipped with Pullman palace
sleepers and free reclining chair cars. No
other line does it. Close connections in St
Louis union depot with solid vestibule ex-
press trains, without change, to Chicago.
Louisville, Cincinnati, Cleveland, Pitts
burg, Philadelphia New York and Boston.
The popularity of this line being uni
versaiiy acknowledged by all competitors.
all passenger trains of other railway lines
entering Wichita from the north, south
and west arrive in time to connect with
the Frisco line fast express trains 10 the
east.
If you cannot purchase through tickets
reading via Frisco line from your starting
point, it will pay you to purchase to Wich-
tia in order to secure the advantages and
comforts of this line.
For further information regarding rates,
time, connections and through reservation
of sleeping car accommodations call upon
or address w. D. Murdoch. ticket agent,
122 North Main street, orDouglas avenue
union depot. ID. WISHAET,
Gen. Pass. Agent,
d56-tf st. Louis, No
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-06-03
AMONG THE AMATEURS.

The recent agitation concerning the reor-
| ganization Of the Amateur Artistic union
and the proposition that amateur atEllstics
of America be divided into divisions, is ex-
| actlywhat the Western Association Of Am
! ateur Athletes proposed almost year age
| The westerners have refused over and>over
| again to amalgamate with the A A C., but
| they have been willing to take care OF ath-
letics in the vicinityof the Mississippi rfTer
under the name Of the Central Or Western
| association, and be subservient to the main
body, made up of delegates from the Vari-
| GUS other divisions or associations which
would be known as Eastern, Middle, South
ern or Northern. The proposed plan calls
for these four or five eections, combining
into general body, which would be the
supreme court of athletics. Each section
viii manage affairs in the vicinity it repre-
sents, and be entitled to three delegates to
the general body.
An athlete named c. Little has lately as
sumed considerable prominence on the Pa
cific coast. He arrived at San Francisco
several months ago and joined the Alpine
Athletic club. Several inquiries from the
Pacific Coast Athletic association have been
made in the east, for Little says he came
from Boston. No one in athletic councils
east seems to know anything about him.
He will be allowed to start for the Pacific
coast championships on May So and if he
wins any prizes they will be withheld pend
ing an investigation.
1t has been noticed of late that amateur
athletics in Chicago were not as prominent
as they were at corresponding period last
year, when there were apparently half
dozen thriving clubs competing for local
supremacy. THE present quietude," a
prominent Chicago athletic official said re-
Gently, "must not be taken as a bad sign,
for this city had such boom several years
ago in athletic clubs that it is quite natural
things appear rather slow at present. We
are on a healthy basis, and when things
shape themselves a little better you will
find Us on deck"
j. S. Robertson, of the Montreal ANA
teur Athletic association, the ex-champion
American and Canadian quarter mile run
ner, may don pumps again this spring and
try his speed on the cinder path. He was
Canada's fastest Splinter in 1886, and
showed his heels during that year to sew
eral American crack athletes. His business
has not allowed him in recent years to in
dulge in the healthful pastime he is so
good at, but he thinks he is not yet too old
to lose his speed. His age is 81.
When Victor E. Southeastern, of the
Olympic Athletic club, San Francisco, went
to the southern part of California last fall
for his health, it was thought that his ath-
letic days were over, but word from the
Golden Gate city is that this famous ath-
lete is stronger and more active now than
ever, and that at the Pacific coast cham
pionship games on May 80 he may beat the
record for the running broad jumps feet
3 inches. He has a record of only half an
inch less than this. 1t is also said that he
will take part at the regular championship
games at Washington, D. c., next Septem-
ber
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-06-03

The great success Of the two billiard
tournaments recsntly held IN New York
and Chicago has caused propositions to DO
made for the holding OF an International
contest IL Paris next Summer and Z return
contest n New York naxt wintsr. When
Maurice Vignaux WIS in America IN 1855
considerable interest was shown in the
''geutlemaRis Eamen Since then it hRs
grown very much IN both France AID
America, and the ardent patrons Of 1t ara
striving TO bring the experts Of these two
cJysntEeS togeLEc-.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-06-03
So Sorry He Couldn't.

Great Merchant 60 former clerk II shall
be pleased 70 hea-'of yozr sGceess, Gibbs.
/ always look with skiRd Of fatkerly feel
ing On the young nan that have been in
ny employ. %hensvsr l can be o. any
service 70 you. Gibbs. let Rae know.
Former CleYk-AJu are very kind, Ar.
SPotcash- If / an n0t asking too much,
would you Object TO going my security for
few hundred dollars 20 start ne IN Little
up town stoTe5
Great Merchant-Hu' Why, Gibbs, ]
should be glad 20 do II, but the fact Is II
took q vow many years ago never 10 20
any mans security for anything. But
wherever I cau-sg-ssiFlss yOa. Gibbs,
don't fail % let rle knOw.-Chic2go Trib-
me
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-06-03

OF Two ago she appeared rs TIE Snnc ~
theatre IN the English metropolis. togesth "
with number OF RzItish celebrities
She WIS almost UnanRnERcai znd had
had very Little time to prepare herself for
the event, yet she mede by far the most
pronounced success Of the evening. She
recited that wonderful chariot race scene
from Lew WaLlsce's "Ben Hurs" and the
effect on the audience was electrical Men
and women rose from their seats and
shouted. Bouquets fell at the feet of the
young American elocutiouist In showers.
From that time her future in London was
aSSurad
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-06-03
JACOB BECKLEY.

for the Stockton, Cal, club. He made
many friends while on the Pacific slope,
who were 10th to see him depart for the
east. He started the season of 1888 with
the St. Louis Western association team,
but on Us disbandment was purchased by
the Pittsburg club and his record there
during the remainder of that season and
1889 was OF the highest order. Beckley is
a clean, hard batter, q fine fielder ard an
excellent base runner. He ranked second
in batting and third in fielding in his first
season in the National league. Few young
men have sprung up from the ranks of one
Of the minor organizations to that of the
older league and met with the success Beck
lev has
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-06-03
Ksep M. fer E.ufars R,f-r.nc-.

The Fort Scott, Wichita * Western rail
way Missouri Pacific Route j. the only
line running solid trains through from
Wichita 20 Kansas City and s. Louis
Leaving wichita az 2.l5 p IL you arrive AZ
Kansas city next morning AZ O'Clock.
Pullman palace sleeping and free recIin-
ing chair cars through % Kansas CITY AID
- Louis without change. Remember 4
ven 20 Via the Forr Scott Route Won are
not depeudeut On main line connections a.
Junction Point, bat you 70 night through
On solid trims This "a the ooiT route
whO-e main line runs through Mfebfr
Al trains are Tnade up here and Yuu
through solid 10 Kansas City 10 r. IlsrF.
II i the shortest line by forrv-sigfst rnEt.-s
and two boaz the qJgtckest. Two trains
daily 20 - Lolzs and All po.Isss east
Ticket oE1ce ~ AoTth Main rrs-f. Dat
coEneE second and Wichita stress
T. T. BLECELET.
Passenger and Ticket Agent, IL Sorh
Main street. Wichita, Han
II &. TOwSsESD.
9. Z. = 7. "a, -. Louis. 10.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-06-03
and 2:20.

At the spring meeting at Hartford,
Conn, on June %, 1889, he won the 2:19
class in 2:194, 2:161I and 2:20 at Cleve-
land, on Aug. 2, he won the free for all
trotting class, his only opponent being
White Stockings. The time was 2:21$I,
210 and 2:15T. At Buffalo in the 21S
class he met Kit Curry, J. b. Richardson,
Junemont and Newton B. The race was
extended through five heats, Gene Smith
winning the second, third and fifth heats
in 2:161l, 2:17E and 2:1S.
Gene Smith has not yet reached his speed
limit and his friends confidently expect
that he will place new record to his credit
before the season of 1890 comes to a close.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-06-03
A Girl Who yields the Bow.

For many years it was said that no
woman could ever equal the great male
performers on the violin, just as it is now
said that no woman viii ever play the pi-
ano as did List or as does Won Bulow.
Doubtless the latter belief will perish be
fore long. The former has already gone
the way Of many similar superstitions.
Indeed it seems as if the greater delicacy
of touch, Of feeling, which is justly ascribed
to women may in this era of womanly
progress enable fair fingers and Geicate
wrists to outrival the stronger but less
sensitive hands and arms of male perform
eTs on all the recognized musical instru-
ments. The latest girl to be recognized as
a great musician is Miss May Brammer, a
violinist. She is only l6 years old, yet she
holds the prize of the Leipsic conservatoire
and plays with a refined taste and peTfec-
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-06-03
Eobert VA. teIy,s Wig.

Robert Manteu used to be numbered
among those actors who, all unintantion-
ally, work sad havoc among the female
auditors hearts. All this Is changed now,
and he says it is because It has become
generally known tn 1t he wears q wig. He
Is almost totally BALD up TO about the
middle Of the top Of his head, and the wig
is parted on his forehead TO conceal the alb
sence Of hair. It Is absolutely impossible
TO detect il, even IN broad daylight.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-06-03

IN France, where there is more talk OF
equality than there Is real .Eation OF 1t, a
gentleman fell into fit of wrath one day
with his valet, because Fhe man had at
tempted to put an extra 'shine" on his
patent leather boots. "NDu villainr' said
the master; 'youimbeciIo! You calf. Ddu t
you know any better than to & tb2t?" The
man made no reply, but carried his woes to
the cook and the ckJnbermaid. The
idea, he exclaimed, 'of using such terms
as that toavalet de chaglbre in this century
of equality in which we,iive. Why. 4 gentle
man would hardly talk 10 his coachman in
that way!''--SaE Franc SEQ Argonaue-
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-06-03
yet rnaE need inspire opposing teams VIVID
dread. W. T. HARRIS.
A LIVELY GELDING.
Gene Smith, VINO Hes Made Some Good
Records and Nay Do Better Yet.

Gene Smith, VINO Hes Made Some Good
Records and Msy Do Better Yet
Gene Smith is black gelding, by Daunt-
less, dam Nelly, by Vermont Hero. He
began his victorious career in 1885, gaining
his first victory that season at North Man
chester, Ind, On July 8, winning his three
heats in 2:37, $40 and 2:57. During that
season he ran several good races, and at
Fort Worth made record Of 2:251!.
In 1887 he placed only two Victories to
his credit, but he reduced his record to
2:22LZ In 1883 he won his first victory at
Poughkeepsie, II. Y, on Aug. 2. In that
contest he lowered his record to 2:22. Later
on ct Philadelphia he defeated field COM
prising sucn performers as Spoford, Kite
foot, Kit Curry and T. T. S. He won this
race in three straight heats in 2:21, 2:211z5
and 2:20
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-06-03

Teacher-If YOU take three fingers from
ten, how many remain:
uanschen i dumb.
How many fingers haveyoU altogether!"
Ten"
And suppose three TO be missing-what
have you thens"
Haasdhen b1aminzl- Acknowledgement
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-06-03
FruebIingsfra1e.

AAt oaA
As l sit here in my study.
Gazing on the western sky,
Brilliant with the glow Of evsainE
Waiting for the day 20 die,
L. the garden Of Ely neisabor
can ses a vision fair,
For my neighbo-'s wife stands smiling,
With the sunlight On her hair,
Taking with the wife worship
While the evening shadows fall
CCGreless IS their conversation,
Listening, can hear II ali,
Ard hear her sccents, sweet a.
View mol2sses from Jug.
Float across the evening srlIlneSs-
Have you get your garden cUgT'
W. d. -KIlis TasSoEcrEllie Journal
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-06-03
4 nnnhl. RarrsIled or-rr.

L was q vel known o.tszeE wlso walked
up to a cab driver ~ ? o clock n the morn
ing with the inquiry -,tF nEu, do you
kEtw where i've"
The Jehu boxed a him thD1ghtfully,
am then Eizh zSele.ihs-ztsou responded.
!. ~ a.. % x01S1-BEskiazto1 PcE%
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-06-03

Jacob Beckley, the Western Wonder as
he is called, is the hard hitting first base
man Of the Pittsburg club of the Players
league. He was born at Hannibal, No,
about twenty-four years ago and played
ball first in his native city, where he gained
quite a reputation as a first baseman. In
1886 he went to Leavenworth, Kan, and re-
NAMED with that local club until July,
1887, when he played with the Lincoln club
during the remainder of that season. The
winter Of 1887 found him playing first base
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-06-03
DOCTOR PURDY,
SURGEON, OcuIiSt and AuriSt
154 \ MAIN ST. WICHITA, KAN.

IAN MAIN ST, WICHITA, KAN.
The doctor gives special attention
to the treatment OF all diseases of the
EYE, including the scientific adjust
ment Of glasses to correct imperfect
vision.
CATARACT removed and sight re-
stored TO many who have been totally
/ blind.
CROSS EYES Strengthened in one
| minute.
SORE EYES cured without the use
of caustics or other harmful agents.
ARTIFICIALEYES carefully select
ed and applied.
DEAFNESS-An durable cases Of
| deafness promptly cured.
GLASS; S-Oniy those who have had
a thorough training should attempt
to fit glasses. lest they 90 the patient
more harm than good. Many cases Of
nervousness, irFita ability, insomnia,
headache, vertigo and seeming stu
pidity in children are due to defective
vision and are removed at once by the
application Of proper glasses.
Doctor Purdy has achieved sue
cess little less than phenomenal as
general surgeon, treating with great
success deformities, club foot, CuTya-
ture Of the spine, hip joint disease.
white swelling, diseases OF the bone.
cancer, ulcers, tumOFs, old sores, hair
lip. facial blemishes, skin and blood
diseases. etc. Syphiles absolutely
cured. Doctor Purdy was late pro
fessor Of surgery in the wichita Medi-
cal College and Surgeon 70 -. Francis
Hospital, having rellnquished the
above positions in order 10 devote his
entire time to his speCiaities.
". b, SuperhuOus hair, facial blem-
ishes, moies, etc, removed by cleo
tricify. Correspondence solicited.
Consultations free.
Il. T. PIRDY. NJ d.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-06-03
an AMERICAN elaL IN LONDON.

The Remarkable Success of Dell Thomp-
son. : Young Actress
No mater how much game may be made
OF Uncle Jonathan when he goes TO Europe
to see the sights, bis wives aud daughters
are generally able 70 make the continent
hold up its hands II admiration If they try
very hard. There have recently been two re
markable examples Of this power CT Amer
can women TO capture he hearts ard heads
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-06-03

- = - -
Of Europeans IN
the considerable
successes Of Sybil
Sander son and
Agnes Hunting
ton. and now
comes q third n
the triumph Of
Miss Dell Thomp
son Miss Thomp
son : about -
years Cd slender.
graceful and bean
I5E1l- She hes Gre
ste5 very ecnsid-
GsS.e Juror bv
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-06-03
Improved Quotations.

Improved Quotations.
He p-eyeJh best who loveth best
Both man and bird and beast
But shoe peg horse feed was devised
By deacon way down east,
Ard stil they gazed, and still the wonder grew
For the detective really had q clew.
Two voices are there: one Is Of the sea,
One Of the mountains; each mighty voice
Both offer summer board vociferouslee;
And both are bad, and you may take your choic
Chicago Tribune
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-06-03
4 oucrn.

'YeS you may love me y hen I'm Old
OF that I'll say I'm sure,
But swear by this tenth plate % cream,
WI you love me when I'm pcors''
PHILADELPHIA Times.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-06-03
4 Rising Pitcher.

Frank Foreman is q prominent profess
sional pitcher, filing that position last
season with the Cincinnati club, and is at
the old stand this year with Duryea and
Rhines. He has started out well, and if the
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-06-03
d56tf
CIlarters.
d71tf

Blank charters and all kind Of legal
blanks for sale by
THE WICHITA EAGLE,
d71 If Wichita, Kansas.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-06-03

her rec-tat5ons. and viii soon 20 On the
stage II London w55h every prospect Ct i'm
1see5zte zRd-co2slesra1.s $3.50, = week
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-06-03

work he did in the first few games Of the
present season IS q forerUnner Of what he
viii keep up 20, he will rank among the
best pitchers Il the country. He never
seems TO lose his temper.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1890-06-03

&slIo4sro rusy57 eASs sqs 'ueJpTrQO pvq Gus Usq-M
'vEIolSB0 o. SuuIo eqs 'SSrR sIuSosq sQs usuA
's1olspo Joy pslIo Gus PHO { STA Gus usqM
TEIo9sy0 Isg e4pS e4 'yo!s SEA 1qca UsqM