The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1890-06-25
STUFF AND NONSENSE.

OtntlSt.
To FOOL with bee calls forth a
singing rebuke.
A PIN is like man. 1t is useless
when il loses its head.
On, the heart, strength, vigor and
affection that is in right prayer
An Albany paper advertises a raffle
for COW. 1t will be "A nnlk-shake.
$50 DARK and yet so light" as the
man said about his short ton of coal.
AWKWARD Miss with an umbrella)
Beg pardon Polite gent leman-
Don't mention it. L have another eve
left.
an time of peace, said the Maj or, Il
frequently go to military balls" And
in times of war;" "rhe military balls
come to me That's how lost my leg. .
EASTERN man-So they caught the
murderer? Westerner-Yaas. Have
they tried him yet 2" Not yet. Amt
had time; they only just got through
the lynching."
FIRST doctor-Say, there's an I'M
licensed physician in town curing
people right and left. Second doctor
Curing people? Good gracious We
must have him arrested.
"THE meek shall inherit the earth, F"
quoted the minister TO parishioner not
noted for his meekness. "les, replied
the layman, "but the hustler is contest
ing the will very vigorously"
Cora - Miss Fussanfeathers's hair
used to sc black. l see it has turned
to a chestnut. How do you account for
that? Clara--I believe she has been
using the funny papers to do her hair
mp IN.
"YoU remember Jones, the fellow
who was always asking is it warm
enough for you 2" yes" "Well, he's
dead as that so? How happy he
must be. He can ask that question all
the year round now"
BRIGGs-There is great deal of
nonsense written about man being
the head of the house, isn't there?
Braggs-It is all moonshine in my
case, at least | am merely chairman
of the committee on appropriations.
DE GMLIE-Bobby, did your mother
make any derogatory remarks about
my singing after | was gone the other
night? Bobby-N-n-n-no, she didn't
make any derogatory remarks. De
Gillie-Im glad TO hear that. Bobby
But she nearly died laughing.
ADvERTIsER-I wish this advertise
ment placed in some part of the paper
where people will he sure to see it.
Editor-Yes. sir-yes, sir. 1 can put it
right alongside of an editorial. if you
wish Advertiser-Hem! Please put
it alongside of the baseball news.
WIFE-Wait moment, my dear. L
want you to mail letter I'm most
through. Husband-Important Wife
Indeed it is. L sent telegram to
Sister Lucy this morning. and now I'm
writing to the telegraph operator in our
town, telling him to hurry and de-
liver it.
"NO, / NEVER know where my hus-
band is nights" remarked Mrs. Cab
ley to a lady TO whom she had just
been introduced. "Do you know where
yours is, Mrs Tompkins ?" "Oh, yes"
quietly replied Mrs. Tompkins. Il
buried Mr. Tompkins in Greenwood
last spring"
HARRY wonder if Kate is really
fond of me Dick know she is. Heard
her say so. Harry-You don't mean
it? Dick-I do, though. Well, she
| didn't say so IN so many words, but she
intimated as much. She said that she
| loved even the meanest of Gods crea-
lures. Old boy, let me congratulate
you!
MARKING time: Clerk Of the works
Look here Donovan, L can't under
stand how YOU made seventeen hours
on Thursday. Donovan-Shure, Oh
| shtarted two hours before Oh began, an
Oh wurrked all dinner tonne whin Oh
was restin', and after Oh left off Oh
wurrked for two hours more, and
that makes me time out
SAY, pop" said Johnny Blinkins,
Charley Sawyers going to elope with
sister Mary tonight. He's got ladder
hid In the barn" You don't say so.
Wait till go in and tell your mother,
SOS she won't think it's burglars and
kick up racket. An, johnny, you
kin hang around outside and hold the
ladder if Charley wants We to-"
AT THE BoARDING-HoUsE TABLE
He entered, aud with smiling air
| The gathered boarders greet u
| And so IN beside the missus fair
| The humorist seated
| He said 10 her with manner bland
| His smiling look bent on her;
| Pray what's the difference 'tWixt you and
| The whale that swallowed Jonah %
| Then quickly answered, as for quail
| On toast he gave his order:
| lyon take in bOarters, bat the whale
| Took in an over-bOarder."
/
The Worlds Four Richest Men.