Daily Republican., 1890-06-12
N. AsDIauns. l,owsEls.
= ms. povsna.

home DentioDed the fact, and asked
what hs intended 10 do with IT.
"Ivs Tor scsesn doors for the front
door" he replied.
s'Caspsntsr coming up TO make thtmi"
s'Hnvsn't engaged any,"
"Mr. Bowsass you are not going 10 Try
and make them yoursolf7"
''Thers won't b. any trying about 1t.
shall proceed to make and hang them"
"Pm AFRAID you can't do It. It's .
nice piece Of joiner work to make .
screen door. specially one for tho front
81 am we'll aware Of that" be said q
be stroksd bis chin In . complacens way.
Don't know how to handle them!"
Ill wish you had given your order
at the shop, % other folks do"
"I,ll be hanged II pay auy $S 70. o
pair Of dooss when l can make 'em for
eS? You are always dead set against
any thing 1 updertake"
"Mr. Bowssr, you can't make screen
do1r. You can't hang one. Don't blame
me when the failure c0meA"
"Blarne you'll Are you getting crazyi
II those doors ere not success you won't
hear word Of fault from me-not .
peep. was thinking Of ordering them.
but being you have stuck your nose ur
90 high, I'll make 'sln now just to show
you that can do IT."
And next morning be put on an old
suit and went out to the barn, and before
0 o'clock he had measured four different
times for those doom. At last he got the
Dimensions to suit, and heard him saw
ing oG the stripA About II O'Clock
went out and found the stuff all cut to
lengths, and Mr. Bowser was making
half-mortices at the ends.
"Arsn't our front doors higher than
thisi" l asked ~ ! picked up one Of the
"Haven'. you any housswork 10 see
to?" he brusquely replied.
"You'ye got 'em foot too short"
"Oh, have, oh? Some folks' eyes arc
better thsn . cArpontsr's ruleW
l went back Into the house, but It
wasn't long before saw him sneaking
around to tho front with one Of the
pieces. I watched him a he tried It,
aud II was all Of twelve inches saort.
Mr.. Bowser scratched his ear, growled
like bear. and looked a foolish ~ q
boy caught1n o harvest apple tree. Ten
min utes later he WAS at the telephone
ordering more stuff.
.Were they too shorti" I asked % he
"N-no, but thought I'd get heavier
stuff" he mumbled - he shot ouI
doors.
Tue stuff came up after dinner, and I
was about 8 o'clock In the afternoon
wien he put one Of the frames together
and stood 1t up In the door. / went out
and as he began 70 smile with satisfac
tion said:
"M,. Bowser. that door is sques'
'squeegawedi equeegawedi wha
does tnat stand for In the bvck coun
tiesp
, "Your door is wider at the bottou
) than At the top"
at can't bsl''
"But your own eyes will oonvinc
you. There's an inch difference!"
"Neveri Pll bet you million dol
! lars there isn't hairs Dreadful"
ran for my tapeline and soon proves
that the difference was over an inch.
"Oh, well, I can fx that In
moment" he said, but IL was Q o'clocl
| that evening before be came. Then b
had pounded one Of his fingers with
hammer, run tack Into his thumb. go
bad hurt from q brad-awl, and half
: dozen times during the night he groane
out tn his sleep about mortises, tenons
hinges, sprlpgs, etc., and once hear
him exclaim:
aft! Why, If they don't at II
knock the Internal old house DOWN.
IL II was 10 o'clock next 10, enoon when
, went out to the barn. He had the doc
: covered with the wire Goth. and proudl
called my attention to It
: (which il the outside OF the door2"
asked.
"why. the side this way. Of course"
: "Then you've tackled the cloth on tn
insidet'
.'That's where 1t belougs."
"You never saw II there, Mr.. Bowser-
ueyeri And look at the way you hav'
tackled the stuff on. It's bumped up In
dozen different places. because you pull
cd 1t askew."
"There isn't one hump-not the sig
Of hump? I'll give any man billio
dollars to make better Job OF III A
that door needs now 10 painting"
"But don't they paint the frames bt
fore they tack the cloth ont How ar
you going to paint the inside OF th
\ framev'
\ 'Don't you worry yourself about ihl
\ job, Mrs. Bowser. wasn't born along
A side of huckleberry marsh!"
But alter l had gone away he tore O
the wire and painted the frame, and ne1
morning he covered the other. Thi
\ night Mr.. Bowser kicked around In hl
sleep In the most awful manner, and {
l about Q o'clock In the morning ho su.
] denly sat up Ii bed aud exclaimed:
/. "Squeek awedl I'll bet you four hur
dred thousand billion dollars against
cent that they are as plumb as a rule"
Mr.. Bower had been q: work an hor
next morning beiore won't out He ha
the doors at the front, aud he seemed
have some trouble about hanging them
"You $50 what you've done, don
you?" ! asked, after survey OF Il
scene.
. II don't believe Pm either near sightt
or color blind" he replied.
"Well, you've got one door wronl
eide up, 10 begin with"
"H -how?"
"Look At the panels and see. Then 70
have been trying to hang one TO swing
and the other to swing out"
"I have, eh? That shows all you kno
o about 1t. I'm simply fitting the screer
90 they will shut tight"
= Just before noon he got hang on bot
doors. and IS looked o. them from th
hall had to sit down on the floor an
laugh. They didn't meet In the ceutr
within two inches, and each was half q
inch short at top and bottom. He ha
E also hung them with the cloth on til
= inside. just then ncigbbor came alop
\ and turned In to the steps. Alter lookin
at the doors for half minute In gres
, astonishment, he queried:
Il ''Somethiag just IRON Paris, Bowserf
\ "What do you meant"
NJ Haai n GRFQn