Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1890-07-10
Mr.. AND MRS. BoWsER.


nestle Life Are Set Forth.
suppose Mr.. Bowser is also like other hus-
bands in regard to household expenses, and
as it comes natural to them they cannot help
it, When the cook is in want Of groceries or
provisions she makes out list and hands it
to me, and it is my painful duty to hand the
same TO Mr.. Bowser. always wait until he
has his bat and coat on and is ready to go,
and then try TO carelessly observe:
"Oh, by the way the cook gave me list
of three or four articles wanted in the
Kitchen
"Whatl Didn't | send up a list of things a
yard long only two days agoT
''It was last Saturday, nay dear"
"Well, what is il nowf'
"Just three pounds of cut loaf sugar, five
pounds of graduated, "A bottle OF bluing,
some stove polish, two pounds of coffee,
poundn--
Good landsl but why don't you ask me to
buy out the whole earthW
Mr.. Bowser, we must have these things
TO use or cook with. You want something
to eat, don't youf
''Something to eat We are always eating!
We do nothing but buy and eatl There is
more stuff used up in this house than would
feed five ordinary familiesl'
Il try to be as saving as ! CAM
"Oh, yes. All you women try to be saving,
but you don't know no more what is going
on in your kitchens than a Sandwich Islander.
| got stove polish day before yesterday" |
"No dear"
"But am sure Of it,
"You got it the same day you got the rat
trap, and at the same place. That was the
day we sent mother a book, and put the date
down. Il was just three weeks ago"
"Well, give me the bill. can't stand and
argue all day, but | want to tell you that this
extravaganza has got to stop. We can't af-
ford it,
The above is fair sample of the gauntlet
have to run about three times per week, but
there are variations. For instance, the cook
tells me during the forenoon that the flour is
out have two hours in which to work up
my nerve to inform Mr.. Bowser. lie comes
home particularly good natured, and after
dancing the baby about, says to me;
III made 500 on deal this morning as easy
as throwing nay hand over"
''Thats nice.n
He was SO lively and good natured during
dinner that / told the cook to add a brush
broom and two pie tins to her list. As Mr..
Bowser was ready to 90 l said:
"Will you take this list along, so that we
can have some OF the things for SUPERB
"List, List Of what'" he asked, his smile
vanishing in a second.
"Of few things. The flour is OUT
"W-whatf
1.-THE tlour Is out
"Mrs Bowser, you don't mean to tell mt
that that barrel OF -four is all gone"
Gan gonen
"But | got 1t only six weeks ago! If i'll
+ gone, then half Of it has been stolenp
"You got it just five months ago, Mr.
Bowser The date is written on the cover il
pencil"
"And we've used a barrel in five months
What have you been doing that you haven
seen the girl carrying it out of the hous
every time she went homer
1.-THE girl HASN'T carried an ounce of
away. We have been extra saving to max
it last as long as we have. We are also gu
of potatoes"
"Po-potatoesln
"Yes"
"Why, it wasn't three days ago that &c
five bushelsln
at was lust two weeks ago today that yo
got one bushel, Mr.. Bowser. The lard is all
out. You only got a three pound pail tw
weeks ago. and as you like
"Three poundsl Two weeks ago! Why
I've got ten pounds of lard only four or fly
days ago!'
"ImpossbleW
"But did Mrs. Bowser, it is evident
, me that there is extravaganza and vast
: from garnet to cellar, and unless you d
something to check it, | shall proceed to TAX
o heroic measures
81 watch things as closely as | can. ID
e the girl put tea on the list"
u "Teal Good heavensl you can't DO out
teal"
'But we are. How long do you expe
+ half pound to last"
= "Half pound Didn't get two who
n pounds less than a fortnight ago"
i '.No sirl You sent up half pound la
% week Monday
= "Welll WE'LL We take the capsheaf as q
!, most extravagant family in Detroit. It's
. wonder we are not all in the poorhouse
L, y And he jammed his hat ON his head al
= walked of without good-by, but to ST
A and send the articles home and return
Is good nature by supper time.-Detroit Fl
y Press.