The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1890-01-03
MONKEY AND MIRROR.
How a Darwinian Being Annihilated
an Enemy.

pure white fun he ought to go over
and watch the zoo. The monkeys
powers of reasoning is limited. but he
uses what brains nature gave him for
all there is in them. A gentleman
recently passed in an ordinary five
cent mirror with a tin-foil back. 1t
fell to the lot of a long-tailed monkey
with ecru points and Vatican plaits
around his ears. He looked in and
got mad. 1t was the first time he had
ever seen himself, and the imagined
rival was SO darned handsome that u
pang of involuntary jealousy shot
through his quadrumanous bosom.
He went on a hunt. Holding the
glass very still he would suddenly
jerk it down and look for the rival.
No rival.
Then he held the glass still and
ducked his head quickly. The rival
ducked as quickly as he did. Then
he grew cunning. He would peep
slyly. The glass was allowed to glide
imperceptibly to one side. 1t was Of
no avail. Then the monkey reached
n of his hairy paws stealthily up to
the glass and made a sudden snatch
behind it. No game. That monkey
brain was doing great work. 1t was
a Napoleonic monkey who was con
spring against the apparition. 1t was
evident that the monkey in the glass
was an active dodger, that he couldn't
be caught by activity. He must be
trapped by strategy. Placing the
glass on the floor of the cage the
key pressed it firmly to be sure
nothing could be beneath it. Then
he looked; there was the other chap
a large as life and as impudent as
ever. He pointed a finger; so did the
other. Number one grinned, chat
tered and frowned; likewise did num-
Der two.
1t was no use. 1t was as if a human
being we're confronted with indispu-
table evidence of the existence of a
fourth dimension in space and were
trying to mentally grasp a conception
of its exact significance. But the ecru
philosopher never said surrender. At
ter his gray matter had resteda bit he
picked up the glass and looked again.
There was that same old monkey,
looking very thoughtful and morose.
He held him a prisoner against his
stomach and carefully picked the tin
foil off the back of the glass. This did
not reveal the prisoner. But he was
equal to the emergency. That infer
nal monkey, he argued, was evidently
between the back and the front of the
glass. He might be fiatter than a
pancake, but there he was. A long,
| black finger worked around the rear
| of the enemy. A vicious scratch with
a grInly finger-nail. That fetched
him. The monkey showed up with a
cash straight across the nose. Ano-
ther! The pit of his stomach was
| gone. All four tigers at once. That
money looked like Kilrain after the
t~hirtv-second round. He had him. In
less than a minute that monkey, who
had so foolishly invited destruction,
was annihilated.
The ecru monkey hid what was left
of the mirror in the straw, and went
off in triumph to hang from the perch
by the end of his gend'arme blue tail.
= Washington Post.
Conspicuous Absence of Clever Women.
In the last number of the London
World Mr.. Edmund Yates laments the
decline of brilliant women. 1t is true
| that there are not many left to fill the
vacancies caused by the deaths of the
women mentioned, at the same time
til ere are hundreds of we'll informed
women nowadays for one in the days
when some of the ladies here mem
toned were conspicuous for their
cle-verness. Says Mr.. Yates
In spite OF all that has been written
and said about the women of today,
and moreover, in spite OF their own
restless and obtrusive craving after
notoriety, there was never probably q
period in this country at which the
sex was less deserving of admiration
or attention than 1t is now. No mat
ter what their rank or calling may be,
mediocrity in all things is their great
and distinguishing characteristic. In
the world of frivolity and fashion,
who occupies the position once held
by the lady patronesses of Almack's,
and who has succeeded to the
vacant 4 thrones Of Lady Jersey
and Lady Londonderry? Where
is there q salon like that of
Lady Palmerston, or Lady Holland,
or Lady Blessington, or Lady Walde-
grave, or Lady Molesworth2 Where,
even, are the professional beauties
who can be compared to Mrs. Mount
/ joy-Martin, or Mrs. Maberley, or.Mrs.
DOdd? Notwithstanding the rubbish
which we hear about the wider and
deeper knowledge acquired by women
and their augmented intellectual act
ivity and literary power, there is not
one whom fiattery itself could
describe as young who has approached
to eminence as a writer. Who among
the sharers in the vast advantages Of
latter-day education can pretend to
compete for a moment with
Mrs. Lynn Linton, or Miss Brad
don, or Miss Cobbe? Who among
them has taken the place of
Mrs. Somerville. or Miss Herschel, or
Miss Martineau, or Charlotte Bronte,
or Mrs. Trollope, or George Eliot. or
Mrs. Hemans, or IL. E. L. or Mrs.
Barrett Browning Where is there
anybody who could have held a can
die to the late Mrs. Norton and the
late Lady Dufferin, as, in spite OF
their second marriages, they must
still be called The fact is that there
are absolutely none of the women of
today who are in the race with the
women OF yesterday, and if their
utter want want OF shyness We're only
tempered with a little discretion they
would shrink from any comparisoY
whether in requirements, geniy !.
tact, or appearance, WI