Sharp County record., 1890-11-27
MUELLER AND MEYER.

How German Students Give Presents III Is
a Pair and 'qulre Deal-A custom or
Protection to Initiate In Dealing Out JUS
flee to tho Farmer-Let Us Have Uncle
Jerry's "Falr Deal"
Uncle Jerry Rusk is still pursuing his
will-o'.the-wisp protection for the
farmer" His latest effusion shows that
he has gotten down to the root OF the
matter in one respect at least-he feels
that the farmer is entitled to as much
'protecton' as anybody else. Here is
what he says:
Isay they're entitled to the same measure
of protection as the other fellows. II they
don't pct it it's not fair deal. that's all
We're getting pretty tired OF rocking the
cradle for some OF these six foot. whi kerrd
infants, while cur infants don't get any
rocking at all U less our infant does get
the same amount Of rocking, w're going to
get roht up in cur WRATH an not o .ly RICK
the six loot, cut OF the cralle but smash
the rockers, don't you understand. We
must all be protected al Ike to the same ex-
tent
All very true Uncle Jerry; but how are
you going to give the farmers this PRO
tectIon?" The duties which Mckinley
has put into his farmers tariff" will
never do any farmer in this whole broad
land penny's worth of good. lfeven a
few farmers along the northern border
should be enabled to sell few more
dozens of eggs, a few more bushels OF
wheat, or few more pigs, there is
absolutely no guarantee that they will
get one cent more for them than at
present; for the quantities imported are
so insignificant that to debar them from
entrance by means of high duties can
not possible affect the prices with US.
We now import one bushel OF wheat to
every 8, 900 that we raise; shut out that
one bushel and how much will that
raise the price of the 1900 bushels?
Absolutely none at all.
The same thing is much more true OF
corn. We imported only 1925 bushels
last year, nearly every bushel of which
came across from Mexico at Ell Paso,
Texas. Mckinley has, however, come
to the rescue of the farmer by putting
up the duty on corn in order to shut out
that pitiable sum of 1925 bushels Will
any farmer be better off now?
But the protected manufacturers buy
from the farmer?
Yes; they do-and at the lowest free
trade market price. How long will our
farmers continue to be hum bugged by
this 'home market" nonsense. The
home market for farm products is SIM
ply and only small part of the worlds
market in which the prices of the
worlds market for farm products are
going to prevail however high McIIin-
ley may pile his duties on those COM
modities
This call for protection for farmers"
is one of the greatest humbugs of the
age-and that for the simple reason that
there is absolutely no way to protect"
the farmer. You can hurt him by pro-
tecting other people; but you can't help
him by protecting" him. That is all
poppy-cock
But Uncle Jerry is right in saying
that the farmer is entitled to the same
measure of protection as the other fell
lowsp'
OF course; nothing could be more just
But let us suppose that such scheme,
in which all could be protected alike
to the same extent "could be put into op-
Grafton. Now, then, how would "fair deal"
work? Uncle Jerry's protection means
higher prices for ones produce or ones
manufactures-or else 1t means nothing
at all. If the manufacturers are to be
benefited to the extent of 81, 900, 900 by
protection they can get their extra
profit only by charging higher prices to
their consumers, who are largely the
farmers
Now, then, let us square the account
by making the ''fair deal" 1t is clear
that the farmers must be benefited
S1,000,000 to counterbalance their loss
Where is that 81, 900, 900 to come from?
1t ought to come from tho manufact-
urers who are benefited, else the deal"
is not fair. Grant that it does como
from them-and where are you? Any
thing gained? Have you gone one inch
further up the hill? Here is the account
Of the manufacturer:
Galn.. 0OOO
IOSS'...........'.. ,,.,.,..,..,...,.... l.UW OOU
Net galn................,... $1,000, ,OoO
And the farmers account
GAIN. .....,............"....Sl 00D,000
L0ss.. ...,.....,.,.............. 1,oOl,NO
NeC gam ,000 U00
And there you are!
That is the way German students give
presents to each other. Mueller and
Meyer each wants walking cane.
Mueller buys one for Meyer and has an
inscription put on 1t:
s''''''''''''''''''' '',''.,',....,,,,,,,,,.s
TO MY FRIEND MEYER,
FROM HIS EVER FAITHFUL
MUELLER.
s.'. .'''''''..',,..,.,.,...,,
Meyer then buys cane Of precisely
the same kind, and costing the same to
penny and he tremendously presents
1t to Mueller with this Inscription on 1t:
s'''.''''.'.''.'',..'...,,
TO MY FRIEND MUELLER