davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1890-09-19
THE END.

Texas whom they call the Great Dipper,
because he oficiates at 80 many
emersions.
"PAPA," exclaimed Johnny, struggling
with q very copious brand Of influenza,
eff the nose is an organ why don't it
have stops?"
TEACHER lat Sunday-school) Betty,
what have we to do first before we can
expect forgiveness for our sins? Betty
We have to sin first.
GREEK is said to be the best lam
guage for poetry. This probably comes
from the fact that most poetry Is Greek
to the average reader.
Social Pastels.-Mr. RoundsAH How
nicely that Miss Instyle carries her
head. Miss Dukatts-She ought to
carry it easily-itis SO light.
CoRRUPTINa Infuence.-The Min
ister-Johnny, are y<u q good hey?
Johnny-No, but ] was before your
little boy moved into the neighbor-
hood.
Il AN sober and steady. I was ten
years in my last place and Eve in the
one before that" But where was the
last place you worked9" In the States
prison"
"SAY, old fellow, are you really re-
lation of the celebrated Prof. Dirl p.
yes, but somewhat far removed"
@How then?" HE is my brother, but,
you see, there are ten sisters between
u.s."
ToMMY-Paw, what is the difference
between "impelled" and compelled"
MIR. -Why-er-it-I was i'm
PEELED to marry your mother, and now I
am compelled to live with her. Quite
q differencep
He-Darling. She-Yes, dearest. he
DO you know, darling, I believe /
have forgotten your real name through
calling you darling 50 continually. She
Well. never mind, dearest, just keep on
calling me darling.
PRETTY Miss-What is the latest in
theater hats? Milliner-Bonnets, not
hats, are worn, and the bonnet consists
only of a few punches of flowers. Pretty
Miss-Well, rig me up few punches
of sunhowers for tonight.
BAToHELL Ito happy fatherl-Con-
graduate you, old man. on the new ar
rival. Whom does he look like?
Father remembering the visitors COM
ments)-He looks like all the relatives
on both sides OF the family.
SAID little Brooklyn boy who was
watering the flowers in his mothers
garden with his latest acquisition, a
watering pot: snow, God, you take
care of the rest of the ground, and I'll
attend to this little pstchl"
HAYsEED (tsking his seat in
photographers chair)-Wait minute.
Don't you give nothing2 Photographer
What do you mean, sir? Hayseed-
I'd like to take gas or chioroform. I'm
. blamed poor hand to stand sufferfn..
Court.-"How did you come to the
point of telling such . mass Of lies? ?"
why, you see, Your Honor, I had read
somewhere that the world likes to be
deceived, and said to myself. August,
my boy, that is just the business for
you.
CHICAGO Man ito guest)-Two more
bodies have been found in Chicago
River, I see. It is strange that so many
persons should be drowned in that
river. Guest-lt is strange. should
not suppose from its appearance that
ay one could sink in it.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1890-09-19
Won't Insure You IL You Drink.

The best class of life insurance COM
pAnies prefer not to take risks on drink
ing men, and some OF them absolutely
decline to issue policies to men who
habitually use alcoholic or malt liquors
in the form Of drains. Every applicant
is required to state whether be uses
stimulants, and in what manner and
quani::y. No objection is raised against
the man who uses wine or beer in mo-
Iteration at his meal. for Psychologists
generally teach that liquor and food,
when taken together, are mutually help-
full, or, more properly, that alcohol is
least injurious when used with food.
but when Q man is in the habitof taking
even two or three drinks Of liquor every
day at other times than With bis food,
the best COMPANIES will decline = Issue
him policy, considering IL only quss-
ton of time when the habit will grow
So as to necessitate An increase IN the
quantity consumed. While not absolute
prohibitionists, the companies draw
the line at the glass of wine or beer as
meal time.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1890-09-19
Jack (Wko has reputation feR q.
travagancs): Edith, Will you have
meT The Hsiress: Thanks: can't
afford you"

birdie kissed me last evening.
did you kiss her back p
"Of course not"
"You foolish boy! Why didn't you?
Preferred to kiss her lips"
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1890-09-19

FirstBoy ito second boy who has been
6shing(: Catch anything.
Secodd Boy: Il haven't been homo
yet"
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1890-09-19
Tom oehiltre,,s sim.


while in Jefferson, Tex, few days
ago, heard an anecdote about Tom
Ochiltree," remarked NJ. F. johnson.
1T was when Tom, having been sdmit-
ted to tho bar, was taken into partner
ship with his father. The first thing
he did after being formally installed
was to request his father to get . sign.
Ochiltree, ST., ordered one, and In due
course of time il came and was nailed
70 the door. It bore Lhe leaend:
"-Oehiltree & Son.
day his father asked him how he liked
the sign. Tom said he didn't like it at
Ill. Whereupon the o.d man told him
to order another to suit himself. Tom
did SO, and vhen the old man returned
from . trip . few days later he was, TO
use . mild phrase. somewhat astonished
to see hung over the door . new, far
ingly-lettered sign informing the public
that within was the ofica Of
Thomas Ochiltree & Father. =
Chicago Post
"Ilttie Dst," The Mining oaes,.
Mrs. F. ]. Lakel, Of Castle, Mont1
has Q remarkable history. She Wa
born In California mining camp, and
was known all over the country q
Little Dot Before Learning to read
she could assert the rock and pick ont
the good ore. Her first study vas
minerafoRy, and, IN fact. abe would
study nothing else.
When piece Of new orc was found
l. . A.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1890-09-19

Miss Willing of New York denies
that she is going to marry young John
Jacob Aston She may be willing, but
the inference is that he never Astor.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1890-09-19
I Mother (mournfally)-Ny dear Char.
IL what would you do II I happenen to
die?
Little Charlie (eagerly)Nrd eat all
the sugar.
as she animated?

Animated ?Well, guess she is. She
can't help herself. She's got st. Vitus'
dance"
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1890-09-19

Harry with his arm around her
waist)-What dear kind girl you are
Maud-A fellow feeling makes US won
drous kind
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1890-09-19

Judge-What is your business?
Criminal am connected with the
stage.
Judge-In what way?
Crimanal-I rob it.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1890-09-19

"What stout, heavy race the Ger
mans are" ''Yes. they are all Two
tons, yon know"
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1890-09-19

Pas'or-my friend, are YOU prepared
to die?
Sick Man (confidentially)-Well, I
should think was; I've got a hundred
thousand dollars life insurance.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1890-09-19

"That horse sold Brown died on his
hands
"Mercyl how disagreablel-and what
large hands.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1890-09-19

TIE matches tAaA ere made IN heavsn
ars sassty nasehsa-Ness Ov3asss
6SoeseessA
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1890-09-19

Teacher-What is the plural of spade
Boston Girl-Garden, implements.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1890-09-19

Miss BeachcOmb-The sea airs are
delightful.
Mr.. Billows-Perhaps so, but they
can't compare with the sea heiresses.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1890-09-19

This is great fall weather we're
having" remarked one clerk to anoth
er.
Fall weather.
"Yes every girl l know has q ham
mock swung somewhere around"
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1890-09-19

Sick Man [making his will l have no
near relatives. have a brother.
-Lawper-Brother! Isn't he a near re-
lative?
Sick Man-No, sir. He lives in Aus.
tralia.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1890-09-19

Alta Watering Place.
Four and forty girls looked out.
Ard SOW beyond man.
Hes coming heic. &c heard them say
And then he turned and ran.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1890-09-19

1T was q tough tale"
what was ?"
"The Aligators."
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1890-09-19

uicu Will sitc potubtuS "a AOo00u 10
volver at the victim, unless he would
then and there write a retraction of 9
published newspaper article, did not
constitute assault with intent to kill
He was subsequently fined S25 for a..
sault and battery.
Correspondence in Topeka Capital;
in the northern part Of Meade county,
n the valley Of Crooked creek, west Of
Fowler. there is a broad depression
about six to ten miles square, called
'"Artesian Valley" where, whenever q
well is dug to depth Of 125 to 150
feet, the water comes to the surface and
flows over-an excellent. pure. drink
able water, free from salt and alkali. A
we'll here four inches in diameter is
estimated to yield about 100 barrels
per day. Here there are thrifty looking
farm houses, surrounded by clumps
and groves of trees. The prospects are
very encouraging. There are about
125 wells dug SO Tar, all flowing, but
few OF them have any determined
efforts been made at irrigation. This
is coming, however. Prospects at this
place look far better than at any othel
place vest Of Pratt. There are no claims
Tor sale this district.
Corresp ,ndence in Topeka Capital
from Garden City it is about three
rules across the valley to the crest Of
tbe ridge. which is about forty feet
above water level in the valley. The
land on the ridge is rich black prairie
loan and is nearly fiat, but slopes
gently to the northeast toward broad
valley that draws the water away from
the Arkansas. To raise tho water to
the top Of the ridge has been the vorl
Of the ditch companies. This has been
successfully done. and at the time thu
bird visited it there was . good stronl
ptrsam of vster - thick and muddy and
rich - over flowed in the AEAeasas
Towing alon9 on The very sun3nit q
ths si1eA II ditsh = ~ haasly
y
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1890-09-19
EPILOGUE.

Il q two years after the murder Of Lord
Harry Norland, the last event connected
With thfa hfatOrY
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1890-09-19
TEAM STEERS.

You work in all weather. You wan; an all
weather" coat. In fact, the best waterproof coat
IN the world. No frsl rubber affair that viii
mp before the week IS ou:- Rubber costs more;
and lasts but short tine. FcTr teirasters out OF
Eve wear the "Fish bls /" wa.erProof clothing.
They are the only ies.s.-rs waterproof coats that
are light. strong, 6rIs5.;, AID cheap. They cost
very little, and last iosg tine They Fever zst
sticky or peel off, TIE buttons are wfe-tasi.ned.
and never come off, They are absolutely ws'sr.
proof and wind-proof uzil you own ous you va
never know the con.for, Of rainy day. Beware q
the "Frh Brznd1 Trade Marx. Deaf accept
any inferior coat when you can have the fish
Brand Slicke." delivered ~i;hou; extra cost. Far.
6culafs and illustrated catalogue Tree
oAsMGo Aoafaa n0An1.
Los Angeles herald., 1890-03-26
FRUIT RATES.
FAIR. PROSPECT FOR A MATERIAL
REDUCTION.
The Transcontinental Association Takes
Favorable Action = Will the Eastern
Association Ratify the Agreement
That is the Question,

SAN FRANCISCO, March f25.-The efforts
OF the fruit growers of the State to
secure q reduction in rates across the
continent seem to have at last succeeded.
Representatives, of the fruit unions who
attended the recent meeting of the
Transcontinental Association at San
Diego say a material reduction was made
ON Eastern shipments tby special train
and by passenger train in carload lots
from Sacramento ON green fruits.
These rates will not 90 into
effect, however, unless agreed to by
the executive committees of the Eastern
Trunk Line association, the Central
Traffic Association and Iowa lines. 1t
will probably be two months before the
new schedule thus proposed by the
Transcontinental Association will be
acted upon by the three other associa-
tiona named.
"The rates may be adopted by the
Eastern associations, but there are
chances that they will not" said Assist
ant General Freight Agent Sproul, of
the Southern Pacific, today. s'For one
thing, it is likely that an agreement
cannot be reached as to the division of
the proceeds. Some of the lines may
demand SO high a proportion that it will
be impossible to make the concession"
In an interview President Platt, of the
California Fruit Union, said: '0The re-
duction, if effected, will average about
$50 per car. About two-thirds of the
crop of California has been moved, in
the face of the competition of Florida
and Mediterranean fruit. Probably 800
carloads remain in Southern California,
and will find good market, during the
next three months. The entire crop of
California this year will amount to a lit
tie less than ,0OO, 900 boxes, and that of
Florida to 3,0000O0. The latter produc-
ton is generally out of the way by the
time that one-half of the California crop
is moved"
Los Angeles herald., 1890-03-26
CONDENSED CABLEGRAMS.

Michael Davitt will go to Liverpool TO
help the dock laborers in their strike.
Tikhiranoff, the Nihilist author, has
been arrested on the Russian frontier
with dynamite in his possession.
The Stadt theater at Bromberg and
the machine department at Koch's ship
yards at Lubbock were burned Monday.
A meeting OF the French Cabinet was
held to consider protests by various
French Chambers of Commerce against
the Mckinley American Tariff bill.
A large portion of Tianguistengo, Mex
leo, including the town hall, containing
valuable old archives, has been de-
stroyed by fire. Four lives were lost
The Danish Minister of War has an
nounced that Socialist workmen would
not be employed in the State workshops,
on the ground that they are subject to
foreign influence.
A clerical paper of Austria announces
the betrothal of Arch Duchess Stephanie,
widow of the Crown Prince Rudolph, to
the Archduke Franz, heir to the Aus
trian throne
Emin Pasha writes that an Arab at
MOmbasa saw the body of DR.. Peters,
dIlu ucCldItu lie udu DecH IuuTueTeQ
Emin, it is stated, will soon return to
Egypt and not come to Europe.
A company is being formed at Stettin to
trade in Samoa, Tonga and the Fiji
Islands. A regular steamship service
will be established between the islands
and New Zealand and Germany.
Boulanger has written letter in which
he renews his offer to return to France,
providing the Government will allow
him to be tried by the Court of Appeals
or a court-martial.
A dispatch from Crete says at Patiama
Sunday a priest was dragged from the
pulpit and paraded through the streets
amid the jeers of mob. Sixty-four
villagers are starving in prison.
The leading Chinese politicians advo-
cate the opening of Thibet to British
trade, and the conclusion of defensive
treaty with Great Britain. These meas
ures, they urge, will act as check upon
Russia.
Los Angeles herald., 1890-03-26
sTANFORD's HORSES.
One Hundred Head Sold at Goo
ant Prices.

One Hundred Head Sold at Good
af Prices.
New YoRK, March 25.-The sale of
Leland Stanford's Palo Alto trotters be-
gan today. There were 100 head, and
they brought good prices. Thirty-two
were by Electioneer. The sale was as
follows:
Three-year-old bay flly-T. J. Dolan,
New York, $500.
Three-year-old chestnut flly-huller
Sibley, Franklin, Pa, 1850.
Bay mare, 6 years old-Robert Steel,
Philadelphia, 81 900.
Two-year-old bay sflly-Jacob Rup-
pert, New York, 1880.
Two-year-old bay colt-Jaeob Rupert,
New York, $3.50.
Brown filly, years old, by Elec-
tioneer, Barbara Maid. Malcolm
Forbes, Boston, $500.
Bay tilly, years old, by Electioneer
Cecilia-S. A. Brown & Co., Kalamazoo,
700. "
Brown filly, 2 years old, by Electioneer,
Cecilia-same, S2,350.
Bay filly, 2 years, by Electioneer, Cora
same, 81 800.
Bay filly, 2 years, by Electioneer, Dora
same, ~ ,00U.
Bay colt, 2 years, by Clay Edith Carr
j. Fitzgerald, Cortland, New York,
$1,000.
Bay filly, by Electioneer, Ella. NAL
colin Forbes, Boston, So, 800.
Florence b. c., 81 years, by Piedmont,
Flower Girl-smfth, Powell & Lamb,
Syracuse, N. Y, LBS.
Bay tilly, 2 years, by Piedmont, Flower
Girl-Jacob Rupert, city, $4,100.
Bay filly, years, by Electioneer, Cora
H. 5. Henry, Morrisville, Pa, $1,000.
Chestnut mare, 5 years, by Piedmont,
Gazelle- Robert Steel, Philadelphia,
81 300.
Bay mare, 5 years, by General Benton,
BattleC: N. B. Babcock, Binghamton,
N. Y, 81, 900.
Chestnut colt, 3 years, by Piedmont,
irensskd lor99n, Hampstead, L. l.,
Los Angeles herald., 1890-03-26
The Cherokees' Proposition.

WASHINGTON, March 25.-The Chero-
kee commission today heard statements
from representatives of the tribes in the
Indian Territory. Several propositions
were submitted to the commission, and
it was stated that if those propo-
sitions could be made the basis
of an agreement, the Cherokees
would consent to the cession OF their
lands. Chief Mayes's propositions are
substantially: The Government shall
fulfill it's obligation to expel from
the Cherokee Nation all non-citi-
zens; a joint commission shall
be appointed to determine the ques-
ton Of citizenship claimed by several
thousand freedmen now in the Territory
the Government shall relinquish its
right to settle friendly Indians on Chero-
kee lands, east of the 96th meridian /;
the Government shall indicate its will
ingness to pay fair cash value for the
Cherokee outlet. Mayes and Bushy-
head, however, disclaim authority to
speak for the people.
Los Angeles herald., 1890-03-26
THE ORIENT.
CONGREGATIONS DO MUCH DAM
AGE IN TOXIC. 81
Dutch Troops Repulsed and Several Off
GERS Killed in Encounters with the
Chinese-Cause of the Trouble-Other
Items.

SAN Francisco, March 25.-The steam
ship City of Peking arrived from China
and Japan today, bringing advices that
on February 9th some fifteen. hundred
Japanese houses were destroyed by fire
in Toxic, and seventy-eight partially
burned. Two persons were killed and
twenty-five fremen more or less in
jured. One hundred and seyenty-eight
houses were burned in the city on the
preceding day, and on March 9Th about
eight hundred and sixty were destroyed
and several fireman injured. The fire
originated accidentally.
Several serious encounters between
Dutch troops and party of Chinese are
reported, with rather severe losses to the
former. A party of Dutch convicts were
sent out to clear jungle and were fired
on from ambush. A detachment OF
troops were driven back the next day
with nine wounded and on the Sth of
March Lieutenant Muller, who went out
in command of two companies, was
killed, and Captain Van Heust, who
succeeded him, was shot down and
seven OF his men received severe wounds.
The Chinese papers say that the For
mosan savages of Ia Ko Kan, alarmed at
the progress of General WI, submitted
to the latter and gave up the
notorious chief, Niu Ming Las Wal,
who was executed January 18th.
He was the head of several aborig-
inal villages, and had been instrumental
in causing the slaughter of over 200 per-
sons. The walls of his dwelling were
hung with the heads of his victims.
A thief known as Lai Tow was robbing
house in the village of Cheng Kiatuan
when the house was set on fire by sparks
from the pipe of an old man left
to watch it. The thief was
caught by the villagers as he was
escaping, and when the fire had spread
and consumed seventeen huts, he was
|. tied hand and foot, saturated with lamp
oil and thrown into the flames, where
death soon ended his shrieks.
Los Angeles herald., 1890-03-26
FAREWELL POMP.
Bismarck Lays Away His
a Decorations.
No More Medals and Uniforms
" = for II Him, u
He Will Never Set His Foot i'm Berlin
Again.
Caprivi Also Expecting an Early Retire.
ment From the Chancellorship. -
49, Old World Echoes.
Associated Press Dispatches.l


BERLIN, March 25.-Caprivi, on enter
ing the Chancellerie, is reported to have
said: 81 shall not probably remain long
here. 1t would be impossible for me tc
sacrifice my honest opinion at the cap,
rice of the Crown"
Bismarck has deposited all his stars,
crosses and medals but the Golden
Fleece and Black Eagle in the
Reich Bank ''No more uniforms
nor medals for me-" the veteran said,
"You have forced me into retirement
where l shall wear frock coat and only
need my iron cross" -
Bismarck added: "You, will never see
me in Berlin again.
1t is reported that he has purchased a
villa in Switzerland and intends remov-
ing there.
The resignation Of Count Herbert Bis
marck has been accepted and Herr Won
Alvensleben appointed to succeed him
as Imperial Secretary OF Foreign Affairs.
Won Alvensleben, who succeeds Her
bert Bismarck, has served as German
Minister at Washington and Brussels.
Hurr Kunert, a Socialist editor o.
Breslau, and member of the Reichstag
has been arrested for offending the
Crown.
Los Angeles herald., 1890-03-26
FIVE CENTS.
EASTERN ECHOES.

General Schenck's remains have ar
ton for burial. q
The celebrated stallion Nav King has
been sold by w. +. Spier to Sibley 4
Miller, Of Franklin, Pa, for $2O, 900.
William Waldorf Astor has arranged,
as final tribute to the. late John Jacob
Astor, to place massive bronze at the
Broadway entrance to Trinity church,
New york, to, cost $100, 900.
At Arkansas City, Ark, a skiff in
which were John Pickett, Lewis Will
liams Harriet Lee and her four children
capsized, and all but Pickett and one of
the children were drowned.
At Buffalo the jury in the case of
Stephen F. Sherman, the former man
ager of the associated elevators, charged
with grand larceny in stealing wheat,
brought in a verdict of guilty. ;.
One hundred and fifty workInen on
the North Denver sewers have quit work.
They have been working ten hours a
day, the diggers getting $1.75, and the
pipe-layers So. They want an advance
OF twenty-five cents day.
Hon. Joseph S. Miller, ex-Commis-
sioner of Internal Revenue, Rev. Mr..
Medley and James A. Bing were coming
down creek in the mountains of West
Virginia; their boat capsized, Bing was
drowned, and Mr.; Miller, it is feared, is
fatally injured. :"
g The annual statement of the American
Bell Telephone Company shows: Earn
ings, $4044, ,704, against 1886, 118 in
1888; increase in net earnings, $244 ,533 !;
dividends, $1,230,500; increase, sic, ,644 !;
surplus, ~, Isl, OIL increase, $22,976.
Major Chrisman, Jacob Wissler and
Mr.. Price, representing the Farmers
Alliance OF the United States have. con-
cluded to establish an Alliance agricul-
tural works at Iron Gate, Virginia. The
works will empty from 800 to 500 hands,
and the products will go to every sub
alliance in the country, representing
1000 100 members.