The Monitor., 1890-04-18
FOR FATHERS AND MOTHERS.

Fathers and mothers must remember
what Mr.. Hammerton says vulgar parents
are apt to forget tits this. That child
may be born to you of tastes, faculties and
consequent predispositions entirely unlike
your own. So far as these matters depend
on descent it frequently happens that
child inherits qualities from grandfather
or great grandfather which do not ap-
pear in the generations between. Now, if
this happens, your problem is entirely diff
ferent from what it is with mother who
has daughter just like herself, or when
father has a son who shares all his tastes
and habits and falls directly into his con-
Germs. One often sees parents who are
puzzled in the problem thus presented to
them and quite at loss how to meet it.
But as soon as you have found out that
there is such a difference in makeup as
has been described the problem is much
easier. ''put yourself in his place. is the
rule which applies here as it applies in
every other point in Christian ethics. The
whole matter is very well discussed in Mr..
Hamerton's essay on 'tFather's and Sons
AN essay which closes with these words:
''The best satisfaction for father is to
deserve and receive loyal and unfading
respect from his son. y
s'No, this is not quite the best, not quite
the supreme satisfaction of paternity.
Stall reveal the secret that lies in silence
at the very bottom Of the hearts ofall hon.
orable and worthy fathers? Their pro-
foundest happiness is to be able themselves
to respect their sons.
1t is in one of these Franeonia books.
that the rule is laid down for family edu-
cation, which really applies in all legisla-
tion and in all life. If you grant, grant
cheerfully; if you refuse, refuse finally"
This means that your children are to un-
derstand that you have not given your d.
rections shoughtlessly. and that importu-
nifty, or what they call Teasing" is not
going to change the decision. As you
watch the children on hotel piazza in
summer in their intercourse with their
mothers you can tell in a minute
whether the mothers live by this
ren viii expect to carry their points
by making fuss enough about them,
while the other set will accept the inevita-
BILE at once and make their arrangements
accordingly. This latter set, it may be
said in passing, are not only the better
children of the two but they are In fact
the happier; they get great deal more out
of life.
1t is to be observed, however, that the
two parts of Mr. Abbott's rule belong to-
gether If you mean to refuse finally in
this case you ought to grant literally in that
And this is from no wretched plan of bar
ter. 1t is not that you say: s1 bought
the tight to forbid your swimming to-day
by letting you 60 fishing yesterday" That
is all very wrctehed and mean. But you
do want to feel yourself and you want
your children to feel that ON the whole you
have great confidence in them. To speak
very seriously, you know they are children
of God and that you can trust them very
largely. II they feel that-because you
have granted liberally-they will also feel
when the refusal comes that you have rea-
son for the refusal and that they must as
sent to it. 1t is very important that they
should understand that it is not matter
of whim.