West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1890-07-31


You can always get bead on him.
What place for whist Turkish bath
must DO. You can get rubber" 30
easily.
Kidnappers, keep away from Matan-
zss. They hanged three OF you thcro
recently. =
All tongues but Russian have been
suppressed In Finland. or course.
women's tongues are excepted.
Nov Avs thousand year old will has
been discovered which Pharaoh msdo.
Faro to-day spares the need Of making .
will. -
Sam Jones 10 going TO shake the Phil
adelphia feathers. Philadelphia chick
on are hereby warned to lock out for
the shakes.
Poor Mwanga, the Arabs have again
turned on him, but why don't he change
his manner It's all they can have
against him. =.
l. Be careful about your conduct towards
cats. A Virginia man hit one, was Bit
ten in return and death completed the
catastrophy. /
A good-looking girl when asked 20
give bail for her appearance said: " You
can gamble on my appearance being
what 1t ought to be-"
A Aifin (Pa.) young man broke his
elghty-year-old uncle's ekull I'm dispute
over fence. Moral-gncles and
nephews should not milf even In miffin.
Staten Island women complain Of
being terrorized by a monkey, which
peeps In at their windows nights. And
yet there are doubters OF Darwin's
theory.
Popin!sy-They say that Mrs. Bissby
makes things hot for her husband.
Dempsey (vho has breakfasted with
Bigsby)-ThAs certainly doesn't apply to
his coffee.
An old soldier applied for pension.
He had been injured at q battle. On
examination Il was found that he was
injured. He ran away 30 hard that he
hurt himself.
and this Is where you teach the
young idea how to shoot Z" remarked the
visitor to the pretty schoolmaam.
Yes, sir" she replied; I'VE teach
trigger-nometry hers"
Here Ia n compliment. Four French
men have honored America by writing
to the Bridgeport Suicide Club asking for
information and permission TO form q
branch organization IN Paris.
3. MadRe-Oh. Isn't that bull
Charlie-Yes. but you needn't be
afraid so long as I'm with you.
Madge-l'm afraid you won't be with
me long II he comes this way.
Mrs. Fangle-Stanlsy complains that
he cannot get married. /.
Mr.. Fangle-Lucky dogi
Mrs. Fangle-- What's that1
SlI, Fangle-I said no was to be pitied.
lyon NAV charge this" said Jay.
smith. indicating = watch no had 30
lected. % -.
You seem 20 mistake it for A aun. -
replied the jeweller, as he placed It back
In the case.
Tomorrow Is Dronson's birthday.
say fellows, let's send him phonograph."
do you think he'd like it,"
Like it1 Did you ever know OF q
man who was fondcr OF hearing himsel.
talk than BronsonH .
Mr. Tamny--We can't walt for saints
10 fill our Offices Andy; because death
precedes canonization.
Mr.. McMump-True enough bu,
you've got the argument Mt the wrong
end. Only a mans life can merit I'll -
NOW. children. who WA the strong.
est man z" asked the Sunday school
Superintendent. .
John l.. Samson :" yelled a little fell
how whose knowledge OF sacred and
profane history was somewhat mixed. A
Aunt Dust arrived on visit and pro-
ducing presents for this children ITO
Wnoin Sliaii give tnl5 iittl6 organ
Papa (sighing)-l}ctteTg give that to 1T
tie Frank. Aunt-Why Gf Papa
Because he will break 1t tho Quicksst.
English Lord 10 younger son)-lt
is time, Clarence, that you was thinking
about = career.
Dutiful SOM will no guided by you
father. Shall take orders. study fol
the bar. enter the army. OF marry ar
Americana
" Foreman Ito editor y Here's column
and half to oil. snd there's nothing
but galley OF "pi" left. what shall
do about it7 A.
Editor-Run II In and head Il, "a
New Negro Dialect Story. by a North
eTn Author"
Little Gamln Flounterag- granny
how much Is dem applesf Dear old
Apple Woman-Oh. go way wild yez
sure IT'S not penny yez havo at ali at
all. Little Oamin Flaunterag- Wen
haven't got der right to 60 cut shop.
ping. al. der samef
(fIrI1-,