The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1890-08-30
PuNeENT PARAGRAPHS.


You can't eat enough in week to
last you year, and you can't advertise
on that plan either.
The man who keeps still whom he
hasn't any thing to say is public bene-
factor. or.--Somerville journal.
The only time the average woman
never talks back is when she accepts
your seat in street-car.-Fnek
If one has cold and doesn't know
what to do for It, all his friends can tell
him; but that does not affect tho cold.
-"I'm going off on my own hook"
said Trouty to his mamma. But he
found out too late that the hook be-
longed to the man at the other end Of
the line. -Harper's Bazaar.
I'VE are all Interested in tho COM
ing woman" says an exchange. Not
half SO much, though, as we are in the
woman who has already orae.--Boston
Gazette.
That man who hasn't any work to
do never seems to be quite happy unless
he is bothering somebody else who has.
--Somerville Journal.
-Sunday-school teacher-'sNow, little
boys whatdo you know about Goliath?"
Freddy Fangle-.'Please ma'am, he was
rocked to leep."-Figaro.
Winkers-"I haven't seen you at
the club for week. You seem to have
become great home body lately"
Blinkers-"Yes. Wife's away."-N. Y.
Weekly.
She (enthusiastically)-''0, George!
don't you think the greatest Joy in life
is the pursuit of the good, tho true and
the beautiful?" He-"You bet! That's
why I'm here tonight. "--Burlington
Free Press.
--"Did your husband leave will?"
asked the lawyer of the weeping widow
for r-the-second-time. 81 don't think he
could. I know he never had any as long
as I've been married to him. ."--Phila-
delphia Times.
Might have been expected. Blob
son-'Poor Mrs Tufstake! Do you know
howshe happened to lose all hermoney?"
Dumpsey-"Yos;s she took three lawyers
in to board. Burlington FREQ Press.
-Faunio-"Papa, Mr.. Havmuch has
asked me to marry him." Papa-"And,
my child, do you think you love him?"
Fannie (astonished) him, papa!
Why, he's worth million dollars!"-N.
Y. World.
Prisoner-"I don't think there will
be any need of your addressing the jury"
Lawyer-"Why not?" Prisoner-"My
insanity will be instantly plain to them
when they see that have retained you
to conduct my case. Puck.
First Resorter-"That mosquito just
came up and presented its bill to me as
cool as could be. never had anything
sting me so." Second Resorter-"That's
nothing. Wait till the Landlord does
the same thing
-"Charles and George have both pro-
posed to me. l don't know which to
81, 500 year" "How much does he
spend?" "S1, ,4OO" "How much has
Charles?" 1910, 900 a year" SLOW much
does he spend?" ''s12, 900" Take
George. ."-Harper's Bazaar.
--Mabel-"Papa, how do you suppose
we can play tennis in that yard?" Papa
-"Why, my love, I've had the grounds
beautifully laid out for you" Mabel
Yes, but there's high fence around,
it. How is any one going to see our ten
mis- suits in place like that?"-America.
-Irate Patron "You advertise to
cure consumption, don't you?" Doctor
Quack-"Yes, sir. / never fail when
my instructions are followed" Irate
Patron-"My son took your medicine
for year and died an hour after the
last dose" Doctor Quack-'My instruc-
tions were not followed. told him to
take it two years. IN. Y. Weekly.