News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1890-04-17
cord in the woodshed yonder. "-Kear
ney Enterprise.

cord in the woodshed yonder. "-Kear
ney Enterprise.
Fond Mamma-''Why, what have
you in your apron?" Little daughter
(breathlessly) = "Oh, mamma, suct
good luckl Dotty Dimp ELS cat hao
six kittens and her mamma would MOI
let her keep but one, SO she gave me
the other fys."-Judge.
Doctor Ito patiently - "You are
troubled with suffering, believe
Patient Gndignantly)-"'No, sir; L
IL don't stu-stn-stu-stut- stut
-stut-stutter at all, but l sta-sta-
sta s. STAN STAN - stammer some,
when I get Observation-Disclosures
S:ar.
He Went Never to Return.-She-
81 dreamed last night that 1 was the
most beautiful woman in the world,
Mr.. Moody" He (stupidly thought
less)-''That's just the way, Miss
Fwances, don't you know. Dweams
always go by contwawies. Wash
ington Star.
Mr.. Crimsonbeak - "You know
Swipes?" Mrs. Crimsonbeak-s'Yes
what's the matter with himP" "He's
troubled with kleptomania." "You
don't say so! Poor fellowl he ought
to take something for it." "That's
the trouble. He takes too much. -
Yonkers Statesman.
''Did the prisoner at the bar strike
you in the alteration" asked the law
yer.
"No, sar, boss" replied the dusky
prosecutor, she biffed me rite behine
de lef' year. Eff yo'll jes' lean ober a
little ways kin sho' yo' de 'zact spot"
The lawyer didn't lean.
Yabsley-"If ever marry I shall
marry woman Of education" Wick
wire-'1 used to talk that way myself.
But, in fact, never had a thought of
marrying the present Mrs. Wickwire
until one day l got letter from her
announcing that her uncle had 'd-i-d-e, ,
and left her $1,000 sd-o-lo-r-s.' ~
Terre Hau.e Express.
''I don't believe am very popular
with your father" said Herbert, sadly
"No," she answered frankly, "you are
not" "Do you know of anything l
could do to make him like me better?''
81 don't know of anything" she
answered, after some thought, "unless
you could 60 away somewhere and
die. "-Washington Post.
Congressman Morse lin his speech, said
he was willing to compromise on the re-
peal Of the anti-pulling section Of tie
Interstate Commerce law. If Con-
gresham Morse can get an anti-pulling
section inserted in the principles of
political parties, regardless of the
other anti-pulling section, we will all
be willing to compromise.
81 am going to bring Mr.. Jones
around to call on you," said young
Brown to Miss Robinson. "He is
quite an expert in legerdemain, / am
told" "Oh, that will be nice, Does
he do any tricks with cards?" 81
don't know; come to think of it,
though, he does play a remarkably
stiff game. "-Washington Post.
81 am satisfied now" spoke the
funny man as he awoke, stthat the
leathen Chinee is the originator of the
game of billiards"
"How do you make that2" asked
one of the party.
because they handle the queue so
well,' responded the funny man, as he
lodged the just stroke of the injured
party.
"Miss Pethebridge," said the embar-
assed young man at the otter end of
h. sofa, after dreary pause in the
"are you acquainted with
ny cousins, the COPYRIGHT girls?"
"Courtright? Courtrtght" replied
he young woman, dreamily. care
'ou related to anybody of that name,
dr.. Pheeble? 1 never should have
it,"