The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1890-12-18
~PlTH AND POINT.


Life.
Figures do not lie, but liars sometimes
fgure.-Dallas News.
One of the greatest ills of earth-Chi-
cago, Ills.-Aunsey's Weekly. ~.
Sent up for life-The consumptive
who is advised to go to the mountains
Puck. " 80. '.'''
..Did the doctor bleed you7" eyes,
wien he sent In his bill. "-Ntw York
J0uTnal.' ''"-..
No man is as good at home as his pic
ture looks in neighbor's salbum.-Ateh'n-'
son Globe. -. 49,. - = = : .
No complaint is made about short
measure when we have apeck OF trouble
-Pittsburgh Despatch. 'ss,.
~"Why doyou call your dog Flaunela"
"Becausc he shrinks so when he goes IN !.
to the water."-Epoch. "a. - = -
= A preacher recently advised his cons
eregation to be saved in the nick of time
from the Nick of eternity. y.--Jesttr. ~
.Bashful Lover--",Can you tie true
lovers knot, Miss Fanny" She-..stNo; !
but the clergyman around the corner can" = =
..In this little casket have preserved
all these years the dearest remembrance
(, of my honeymoon. 1t is the hotel bill"
-Lhfgtnde Blaetter. - .,
when mans wife tells him to bring,
home some new stove pipe. he may rest
assured that there is put up job on him.
.-Munssys Weekly. -.
Possible Buyer-''1s he full bloodedi"
Gullick the dog broker)--"Yes n:
Can't run twenty foot ithout glttln req
in the face. "-Scri5ner. = -,
Bibbs-"I wonder why my tailor
failed2" Fibbs-"Pure politeness. His
customers wouldn't come down, so ne
went up."-Tezas Sytings. ,:,s,,ss....s
If mans anatomy were so arranged that
he could kick himself, it is not believed
that he would ever do it hard enough to
hurt him severely. - Washington Star.
Did lovers tell truths as they know 'em,
Their luck would be very much worse.
I called her "a beautiful poem,"
Well knowing she wasn't averse.
Bertie-sI hate that fellow Dudds,
the tailor, I'd like to murder him"
Charlie-tWby don't you nay his biits
He would probably die OF surprise. =
Light.
"Talkl" exclaimed Ponsonby, 'she
can't say word. Why. I talked to her
half an hour last night and she never
opened her mouth-except to yaWn|--
Brooklyn Life.
Mrs. Quipper-"So you call this a
fiat, do you7 Why, there isn't room
to swing a cat" Landlord-"But there
are no cats or children allowed here,
ma am" ."-Town Topics.
or many self-maie MN we know !
There can be little doubt
In some respects he'd be improved
Had he given the contract out:
Philadelphia Times.
,"Johu, wish you didn't have to take
so many different kinds of medlcine!'
"Why, wife9" "'Cause, then Wouldn't
have to put up all my catsup in differ
ent kinds of bottles. ."-Li9ht.
"That fellow, Bonsalini. the portrait
painter, is a brute" "What has he
done9" ~ wanted him to make por-
trait of me, and he said he wasn't an
animal painter. ."-NeU York Sun.
"My son, said the dying bunco man,
guess you can't do better than to folio"
the motto of your poor old dad, Whom.
soever you find to do, do him with all
your might. '"-Tsrra Haa< Erpres'.
"And what is love% he drolly asked
| AInaic whose wit could not be matched,
ut is an itching of the heart"
She softly said, that can't be scratched.
Trinity Tablet.
'sMarie, 1 have come tonight to ask
you for your hand-I-" "You ask for
a great deal, Mr.. Smithers." "On the
contrary, it is such very little one that
- at is yours, George, dear. ."-NsU
York Sun.
Freddy wants to know why lover is
so often called "spoon." Authorities
arc divided: some think it is because it
seems to be the principal object OF his
existence to hold something, and Others
contend that it is because he is so often
near the lips. One good reason would
seem to be tho hard fortune which so
often puts him in the soup.-Lye.
| Telenboues for Church Use.