The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1890-12-30
PlTH AND POINT.

-Nevorpay-'llavo you completed
my suit that ordcred?" Finklostein-
NO, hall not yot cut do clot, but
hait your pill already made out."-Chi
cago Post
u hate him!-I hate him as I dc
poison" ''Thon why do you have him
visit you?" well, I'll toll you, but
you must not betray mo- My vito does
my cooking, aud l want to ruin his di-
gestion. "-liarpor's Bazaar.
First Messenger Boy-''I say, yer
there, wat fur yer runnin' down the
street just now?" Second Messenger
Boy-"Ah. com-off. Some bloko guy
mo push an started mo runnin' an
l wuz too lazy to stop. Sce?"
When u man has two cigars, q good
ono and ono intolerably bad, and he
gives away tho former and smokes the
stoSa himself, that man comes about rs
near Christian perfection as it is pos
slble for u man to get. Tran
script.
81 see by tho newspapers" re-
marked Mrs. bunting. THAT petriiicd
jaw two feet long has been found in Cal.
ifornia." "Why, you never told mo
that your ancestors came from that
part OF tho country replied her hus.
band.-Figaro
Lawyer Ito Burglar)-"Don take
all have. It's ruin" Bnrglar-"Woll,
I'll tell You what I'll do, pard won't
Hwy nov, but if get snaggcd by the
police I'll let you defend me and go you
halves if you get me oil. Scc?"-pitts-
burgh Dispatch.
Mrs. IIiggins-(to her star boardcr)
Won't You try The chicken, Mr..
McJunkin?' cJunllin-(passing il to
his neighbor) -''rhanks, no; but the
Judge here is the man to do that"
Mrs. IIiggins-"lYhy?" McJuniin--
lies used to trying tough characters,
you know. Inter Ocean.
No Responsibility $50 you arc
married, JACKIE" II am, jim" II
hope you considered tho matter we'll
1t is serious matter assuming the re-
sponsibilitics involved III marriage"
You're wrong my friend. l have no
responsibility at all now. My wifo's
tho boss. "-Boston Courier.
I'D like to ask you how You killed
this chicken" said tho homeless young
man to his landlady. why, the girl
cut its head off, Of course" with a
haichct?' 40 DO sure; you seem un-
acconntably Interested" NO, but
would like to know where you buy your
hatchets. Washington Post
-Softpatc-''l don't fawncy the style
of sports in vogue just now. Think
they're wathcr dull, you know Just
think Of the good old days when they
used to hunt the stag, and tho boar,
ard all that sort of thing" Miss Sharpe
Hunt the bore? An, yes. What 4
pity you did not 1.-Two in those days"'-
America.
Uncle John-"It pains me, Charles,
to hear you forever saying what great
things you arc going to do next week,
next month, or next year. Why don't
you try and do something now? There
| is no time like the present" Charles
And it is for that reason, Uncle John,
that mean to enjoy it. all can"
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. escape Differs
had yesterday, wasn't it?" Miircrs-
II didn't hear Of it." Whiilers-"Why,
that bore, De Gabble. button-ho oiled him
On the street and began telling him all
""o"' "h"' hiSO p"py ol MS, ouI iOrtu-
nately just as he got started a runaway
horse dashed into them and Differs was
killed. Good News.
| Anxious Mother-"I want an order
to send my daughter to an insane asy-
lum for treatment. She is going to
marry man thirty years older than
herself" Judgc-'Why, madam, girls
marry men every day, and arc not con-
sidcred insane" Anxious Mother
''Yos, but the old man my daughter
wants to marry is poor. IN. Y. Weekly.