River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1890-01-16
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THE LIMEKILN CLUB.
Many Interesting Topics Discussed b
Prominent Members.


Prominent Members.
Some weeks since the question OF plac-
ing Horoscopes in Paradise Hall was
brought up by Judge Hornbecker, who
has a mortal fear of being burned alive.
The matter was referred to a commit
tee, and after the opening of the lodge
Saturday evening, the chairman, Colonel
Cahoots, announced his readiness to re-
port. and reported as follows:
Al. Paradise Hall is subject TO no less
dan forty-one risks of bein' burned up
-. In case she eber cotches fab while
a meetin' is goin' on, at least dozen of
de members will be roasted.
''S. 1t will cost 81, 75O,2 s4 to make de
hall perfectly fiahproof
-. Dis committee can not conscien-
tiously recommend any sich outlay of
money, but feels to advise dat we double
our insurance on the buildin' an trust in
Providence.
''5. Also, in case Of an alarm of fab,
dat de officers go out first, an dat no
one else move from his cheer until de
said officers are out.
IS. Den will follow Giyeadam Jones,
Elder Toots, Rev. Penstock, Judge
Keho, Shindig Watkins, Uncle Saun-
ders, Judge Kabiff, Colonel Bangs,
Stepbacl1 White and Prof Tomplxins in
de order named. Samuel Shin will
stand at de doah wild ball club, an
any pussun tryin' TO git an advantage.
will be knocked senseless, his pockets
emptied, an his body left to perish in
de flames"
The question being upon accepting
and adopting the report, hot discus
sion prevailed for few minutes, but
the motion was carried by a respectable
majority.
A letter from the mayor Of Terre
IIaute, Ind, made inquiry if Moses
Demosthenes Galloway was a member
of the Limekiln Club. He not only
claimed TO be, but had applied for the
position of janitor of the City Hall on
the strength of such connection, and
had said that the club, as a body, would
recommend him. The books were con-
suited, and no such name could be found
on the rolls. The secretary was there
fore instructed to answer to that effect,
and to suggest that any Terre Haute
kicker practicing on the anatomy of the
impostor would be sent recipe for pre-
serving cider so that it will remain
sweet three years.
At this point Brother Whyfore Davis
said he desired to call up the case of
Broadtread White, who was expelled
from membership about year ago. Mr..
White lives in Sandusky, and he came
here to deliver his essay on ''De Grad
ual Decay of Sentiment" He had
then been elected about four weeks. On
the afternoon of the day he was to lect-
ure he started for Canada with Wykoff
Johnson's overcoat, which had just been
nicely trimmed with rabbit fur. A POI
liceman overhauldd him, and he was al
lowed to depart for home without being
prosecuted. He now appealed to be re-
instated, giving as an excuse that he
had just been acquitted of stealing a
wheelbarrow on the grounds of klepto-
mania. That was what induced him to
take the overcoat, and his lawyer had
told the jury that he must be held blame
less for what he elected to pick up.
de case will not be considered" said
the president, as he raped Brother Da-
Wis to order. ''De difference between a
kleptomaniac an straight-haired thief
is so slight dat we can't afford to make a
distinction. Free Press.