St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-03-22
KNOW THE MAN YOU MARRY.

day or two ago to representative OF
the Washington Star. "but pray consld-
er the other side of the question, which
seems to me very much more striking.
How much does a girl knOw-indeed,
how much can she knOW-abOut the
man she marrieS until after the wedding?
Why. nothing, at all, or almost nothing.
And it is to that very fact that L at
tribute the failure Of most unsuccessful
marriages. The young woman simply
doesn't become acquainted with her
husband until after the knot has been
tied. Is it astonishing. under such cir
cumstances, that she should frequently
be disappointed in him afterward?"
II will venture to say" she contin-
ued, 'that in majority of instances
the young wife is considerably disap-
pointed after marriage in the man she
has chosen. How can it be otherwise?
Often the idol must be altogether shat
tered: but if this is not the case, hap
PLY, the idea she has formed of him
usually has to be reconstructed more or
less. Perhaps he may be satisfactory in
his new aspect and perhaps not. AT all
events, he is not at all likely to appear
the same man he did
WHILE SHE WAS ENGAGED TO HIM.
During that period he was on his very
best behavior. and you know what that
signifies with young bachelor. l have
learned good deal about such things
from what my own husband has loId
me. 1t Is astonishing how precious
green | used to be. He is perfect, of
course, but then | believe him to be
altogether an exception"
"Surely your husband has not been
of fINn Of hi,
sex aWay?"
marks OF his, made from time to time,
well as l can make out, the typical
young gentleman whom one meets in
society leads sort of double life all the
time. He is like cat, which is gentle
and sleek, snoozing peacefully by the
hearth during the day, but at
night fights and caterWauls on the back
fences. So it is with the agreeable
young bachelor. He, too, is as sleek
and gentle and purring as possible on
all occasions when he is i'll the society
of ladies. One meets him at parties and
finds him always well-bred and delight
full. He comes to all and makes him.
self charming. One encounters him on
the street and he is as
PLEASING AND wELL-MANNERED AS
EVER.
He is the sort of man whom the MAN.
mas look upon, maybe. with favorlng
eye, and he is seen everywhere, always
the personifcation of everything that is
CONNIE il faut. Very likely he looks as
innocent as baby: no one would
imagine from his appearance that he
ever did anything wrong. And yet how
more than probable it is that he is
wicked as wicked can be. 1t is ten to
one that he has all sorts of vices. You
will find him in his club pursuing
a select few or them-drinking smOk-
ing, playing poker or seven-np for
money and telling naughty stories. Oh.
L know something about those things
now myself. And those bad practices
| have mentioned are presumably only
side of his club? Goodness only knows.
Certainly he is not always behaving
himself in manner that be would like
to have repoI ted in detail to the young
ladies whom be calls upon and
dances with. In their society he is one
person, in the company of other men he
is altogether another. The man the
girl who is engoged to him knows as
her fiance is not the real man at all, but
q creature entirely artificial. In the
lower walks of life this is not nearly SO
much the case; but in the fashionable
world every one wears mask"
"But women, l have always under
stood, don't object to men being
trif1e wicked"
WOMEN ARE CHARITABLE.
"There is some truth in that, | admit.
Women have grown accustomed to the
notion that young men must SOW few
wild oats, and they are also aware Of
the fact that it isn't quite a healthy
symptom for youth to be too good.
Their idea of what mems indlscretiunS
consist in are exceedingly vague, but
they are apt to think that such indiscre-
tions, whatever they are, must be awful
ly jolly, and even to say that If they
had been born to pantalOOnS instead of
petticOats they would be wicked too. So,
as rule, they don't blame the men. |
dOn'tnlyself so very much. The troubles
that man may have vices of serious
permanence without its being known to
the girl who proposes to marry him.
However, what have meant all along
is that young woman under such cir
cumstances does not obtain any knowI-
edge of the character in a general way
made her husband. AS tor moderate
degree of wildness, anti-matrimonial
women are usually Indifferent to that.
They rather like to feel that they are
helping man out of what he has been
before into something better. nor are
they disposed to be jealous of the past,
unlike men,"
BROTHERS. ADVICE USELESS.
'tGirlS' brothers will generally tell
them if they don't think this or that
man desirable matrimOnially."
Yes; but what does that amount to?
A girl, if she likes imam, is not going to
listen very readily to anything her
brother has to say against him. A
brother, though he may not be very de-
voted to his sister, always thinks that
no man is gooo enough to marry her. If
he says anything against the
fellow she fancies, it is rather
apt than not to help things along.
AS for the father, he is not in the least
likely to know anything worth mention
ing that is to the young mans discredit,
however much may exist. Els not ac-
quainted with the younger set. presum-
ably; does not belong to the same club,
and has no sources for information of
the kind, unless some one should come
10 Hill anu Iell nun, DIS udGt6r Ol
friendship, that Mr.. Shocks is mauvais
suiet. But such thing as that. for OBJ
vi0us reasons, is rarely done. Event it
did occur the daughter would have fair
show of reason for declaring it pure
malice and she would at once begin to
regard the Objectionable youth as
and a victim to persecution,
which is the last thing to be desired.
No-you can't very we'll keep young
gentlemen of Objectionable morals and
character out of your house altogether,
and if the young ladies of the family
happen to take liking to them getting
rid of them is almost an impossibility.
Thus you see that the girl
MUST ALMOST INEVITABLY MARRY
without being really acquainted to any
extent with her husband beforehand.
The usual course of events is that she
meets him at party, he is granted per-
to call, and within few months
or even weeks she announces to her
more or less surprised parents that she
has accepted an offer of marriage and is
engaged. And finally, without having
had any actual experience or knowledge
of the man, she marries him. There is
one thing to be said that is in the girls
fa vor-Damatv fhat yuh ofpyar NAV no tsr