Sharp County record., 1890-01-23
FULL OF FUN.

Since this Worlds Fair busi,,.
,ame up New York people SMELL =
Theek-hog-oh, uI.-Terre Haute y,
press.
-Jones-'Say, Browne. why 10 -.
all your eldest boy TeIephone9r
Browne-''Because he never works
Epoch.
Although they went to school together.
And grew up children side by side
He never dreamed how much he lovedb..
Until her wealthy uncle died.
-Harper's BazaE
"A London paper made a queer mis-.
print the other day: it meant to sDeaF
If the death Of a prominent member of
the Church of MummIes. and the rv7a
made it Church Of AIummies."
The American GirI.-Queen Va,
5oria ION receiving some Americ,,
.heiress)-"How do you do, young a.
Iies?" Chorus Of Heiresses-'Coms
DID lady, we haven't any time to waste
50 put up your Dukes. '-Lawrencs
American.
Restaurant Waiter-''Will YOU bays
your oysters on the half shell, sirn
Hon. Ephraim Muggins member of the
rural districts)-''NO. sir, Do I look
like a store clerk on half pay? Gin
'a,,7 -O ne M -,r whole shpIIm-Rr,
Lington Free Press.
-Tompkius-''Heard you left the
bOarding-hOuse, Jack. - JacH-"Yqs
the landlady was far too modest 70,
me- TompBins - Modest - hOV5
5hat?" Jack-"O, she insisted that we
eat dressed beef at every meal. .'-Kear.
nev Enterprise.
-Reiected-'I will have to throw
away this joke about the negro, Mr.
Smires,' said the managing editor
.'Why?" asked the funny man. BE,
cause you must not make light Of
dark subject. ."-Drake's Magazine.
observation-disclosures a couple Of Christ.
mas chickens for you, Uncle Pomp'
Uncle POmp-"Thank zee, san, thank
ZEE! Yo was aIIus a good man to he0
the poo Massa Jawlins.' Jawkins-
.sOh. I like to see the poor help them.
selves. Pomp, but in the case Of
chickens I must make an exception. =
Life.
A FIagrant Case.-"Going to the
apothecarv's? Well, I wouldn't 20 to
PestIes." why not?'' He's so dis.
obIiring. I went there the other even.
ing to get a postage stamp, and he act.
uaIlv refused to change a fve-dollarbll
for it. Imade up my mind then that !
should transfer mycustom to some other
druggist. Boston Transcript.
PLEASE. your Majesty. the Yule log
walked away last night whispered a
frightened slave to the African king
Bumbum. on the Christmas eve OF I'LL
1T was a demonstration which we mis-
tool, for A Iog." SOP rOared His Nib
"then use Wonder traveller for the Log
he will celebrate in grand stTLe;' and
that was why the first explorer to that
mart of A frica never returned.-Judge
First Auditor-''See! What can be
the matter with Miss Clawlleys. lnt1e
midst of her solo she seems quite over
come and can not continue" second
Auditor-"She plays with such earnes
ness and is such a fiery, intense v1rtuOS
that she must have been overcome BY
the artistic afiatus." First Auditor
usher, wha5 is the matter with Miss
Clawkevs?' Usher-"Oh, nothln', ai
She's swallowed her chewin' gum, that's
all. America.
They tell story of Maine mal
who told his wife that he was going
AsusangwatOusOgamagOgWongtongoS' oS'
fishing, and rot all his friends Jocal
his house and inquire his whereaOouS
When he returned. the story goes l'
DOor woman was 50 exhausted tha5 sa'
couldn't speak for 4 week. But it's SAFE
to wager that despite her ezhausaA
she could come nearer to giving the cor
rect pronunciation Of Asusang-anaS i
forth-than her husband who had lr'
returned from his fishing trip II
woman had nothing to do with the Dali
-NorristOwn Herald.