The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1890-04-22

He-We swells carry watches In our canes.
The Girls-Thats nothing; we girls have clocks
In our stockings.-Rockef.
II know where the ghosts all live, paps," re.
marked Jobnny Cumso. where. johnny
"In gnome mans land Judge.
Fishermans Luck: First Fisherman-whst
lucks Second Fisherman-None ct all; can't
get the cork out-Aunsey's Weekly.
Mrs. Angclica-won't it b just too lovely for
anything to have wings and harps forever? Mr..
Angelica Ia dyspeptic)-I don't want any Of 1t
In mine. We wouldn't be there . week before
you'd want my wings to put on your hat -Looeil
Nail
Mrs. OKay-rm going to Outlets. Horace.
Shall order the Sunday dinner7 Mr.. O'Kay-
By all means, no. don't order I'll Just ask for it,
Last months bill il still due.-Cnatser.
Clerk lin Montana store)-what1l yer have?
Customer-Give me . pair of alligator earmufKs,
celluoid shirt and . box of IS caftridgea I'm
going to the ball this eye.-CgotAier and Fur.
nisher.
Grocer-What would you like TO have, my
good man? Chronic Candidste-If the president
In willing I'd like TO have . postofiice but just
now I'll take half . pound Of soda crackers.-
Texas Siftings.
He Couldn't Eat the urbstons- Benevolent
Old Lady. Dear. dear. Little boy. why do you
sit on the cufbstone eating those crusts, Small
Boy-Pm doin' 1t for me health. ma'am You
didn't suppose was hungry, did youf-Lippin-
COTS Magazine.
An Accomplished Dog-"Is that your dog"
asked one leisurey looking man of another ON
Pennsylvania avenue. "Yea" "Good dog?"
''Yes, / expect TO make ratter Of him" Ever
catch snything?" "Yes." what did he catchg"
"Flesa - Washington Post.
wickwire-whst Q lot OF time 70 wasted
through ignorance, that otherwise might be
saved Ysbsley-Isn't there. though. know
Of . case in point Only last week sat down
and played solitaire three hours before found
out I didn't have o full deck.-Terre Haute En-
press.
Weeping 6pouse-I shall erect monument to
you, dearest, when you are gone. ! shall have
Loving Husband" engraved &C the bottom of
the column. Dying Advertiser-6ood heavens
Pauline. that viii never do Top Of column.
eighth page. next reading matter-or-I refuse
to dies-Dry Goods Chroaicte.
A Comforter: Disgusted statesman nhrowipR
down newspaper)-Only i've lines given to my
speech and halt q column to . cock fight! This
Is a fine indication of public intelligence His
wife tsympathetically-Ah, but IL people al
ready knew what was best, what would be the
need OF reforming them.-Psck
Business: Salesman in the Bowesk Overland
Underland Tea Compsny)--I couidn't heip IL,
sir. / was s-cleanin' the canisters when the
whole pail a. vinegar upset into the chest o.
Rio. Proprietor-sorry, but III have to dock
you IS. Two minutes later Yes. mum, its
the rarest kind o brand-%o cents . pound.
why-er--ies see-Imperial pungen, Java
Two pounds! Yes, mum--An.crican Grocer.
A Painful sighl-A couple Of friends were
taking . walk, when one of them stopped to
show his companion q house. what q splen-
did bailding, he exclaimed But the very
sight Of IL makes me sad" How so, Be
cause IL reminds you of the owner Beautiful
a. 10 appears to the eye. IL was built with the
groans. the lamentations. the tears and the
blood of women. children. and OF sick persona"
was Il built BY . usurerf" "No. BY . dentist"
--f;dssfsa PtsdEoatsss.
MY daughter" remarked . grave and revef-
end United states Senate, 70 his child, "didnt
that young man who called on you last nishs
remain very laseT' Quite late. papa" was the
dutiful reply. well. my child, shoald hike TO
know what was going on that required 20 much
time" IT wasn't that kind of an executive
session. papa she said with wise precaution
I'VE never tell -Washfaatoa Ssdr.