Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1890-07-09

Well, we should say setter.-Ex.
I'm having a 'gallus' time," saic
the old bachelor, as he mended one o
his suspenders.-New York Journal.
Miss De Pride-I wouldn't MARI,
him if he were the last man on earth
Rival belle-Indeed you wouldn't
Then I'd take him myself.-New Yorl
Weekly.
First passenger--Are yer sick
Thomas?
Second passenger (faintly)-Do y
think I'm doing this for fun ?-Th
Jester.
Charley--Did you call on Mis-
Jonas?
Fred-Yes. She was awfully disa
greeable, too; didn't cheer up, really
until / started to leave.-Harper'
Bazaar.
Conclusive. Miss Plaingirl-Yes es
| sometimes fear that he does not low
me; yet he kissed me last night.
Miss Prettypert-Then you ma
rest assured that he loves YOU'VE,
York Sun.
Cause for suspicion. "Say, Rob
bets, did you ever propose to m
wife ?" "Why do you ask ?" "Of
because, when l gave her your love
as you told me to in your letter, sh
said 'chestnuts. '"-Ex.
Not the suit he meant. Sweetam-
She smiled OH my suit, Robbins, oil
boy.
Robbins--Well, | think she might
The wonder is that she didn't go int
hysterics.-Boston Herald.
Mrs. Jones-Why are you so anx
ious about the arrival of the steame
from Europe, Phyllis, dear?
Phyllis-Oh, nothing much onl
pa ordered count from Germany fo
me, and it's about time he was her,
-Ex.
Old gentleman (from head of stair
Mt late hour)-"Clara, | think yo
and that young man have talke
enough for one evening"
Clara-"All right, pa. We won
say another rd."-.Lippincott
Magazine.
Customer-Here, waiter, | give yo
threepence for yourself; now tell m
what you would recommend with
clear cOnsClencei
Waiter Gin a confidential whisper
Go to another restaurant.--Fli,
gende Blatter.
Circumstantial evidence. Mrs. !
(to colored servant)-Do you kno'
when Col. Yerger came home la'
night'
Sam-I dunno, mum, but when
tuck his boots at 7>o'clock this morr
ing, dey were warm.-Ex.
A heavenly visitant Wife (d'
lighted What! home through th
summer shower? But where did yo
get.that lovely piece of ice?
Husband (exultingly)-It is hal
stone which just fell in our front var,
and we can pay off our mortgage wit
it.-Cbicago Times.
"Mr. Lushley," said that gentl
mans wife in an irate tone, "do yo
know that it's 8 o'clock in the morl
ing p
"Coursh l dush," was the repl,
Don't you shpose I'm shober huff
know free clock when / shee itY'-
Washington Post.
De Smyth-Who is that affectc
specimen of humanity making towar
US?
De Johnes--That's Dumley, and d,
spite his harmless appearance he's
courageous man.
Well, his looks belle him, Bl
what makes you think he has courage
He eats restaurant hash.-Ex.
Cbawles DeCourcey Cat dance j.
Aw, quite pleasant evening. Az
did you see the moon, you knaw
Miss Perline-That's the third tim
you've said that, Mr.. DeCourcey.
Chawles-Aw, yes because we,
only done round dances togetha
You just ought to hear me talk IN
quadrille. I'D really bore you in I'll
lasncers. Chatter.
Patrick, you were on bad spr,
yesterday"
"Yis, Mr.. Ellis, / was. Bless n
if wern't a.laying in the gutter vi
a pig. Father Ryan came alonI
looked at me, and says, sez he, On
is known by the company he keeps.
"And did you get up. Patrick :"
mo; but the pig did."-Dry Goot
Chronicle.