Daily tobacco leaf-chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1890-1895, 1890-03-27
WAYS OF BRIDEGRO0MS.
THRIFT DISPLAYED BY SOME OF
THEM AT THE ALTAR.


human nature" said preacher the other
day, "and not a little amusement is to be de-
rived from watching the behavior of people
who come to you to get married, for instance.
81 remember when / had parish in the
country big rough farmer drove up to my
house one day with biushing, giggling dam
sci in his wagon. After had married them
the bridegroom said:
Moneys s,nrce in these parts, minister,
and l can't raise more than enough to pay my
taxes this fall, but I'll draw you two thump-
in big loads of cordwood when snow comes
for this job
81 told him had to take so large part Of
my salary already in cordwood that l didn't
care to marry people for it, but the job, as
be called it, couldn't be undone and cordwood
was better than nothing.
HIS THRITTEsT.
"There are plenty of men, too, who want
to get the thing done as cheaply as possible,
and are prepared to haggle over the fee.
=" is that all there is to itF they say, when
the ceremony is over. Pretty short, amt itl
Didn't take much trouble. What's the fee,
sir7 Times is hard just now and
"'Oh, just pay whatever you think your
wife is worth, always say to these fellows,
with a smile at the bride. That generally
stops the h6ggler and raises laugh against
him.
1.-The thriftiest man who ever came to me
for this purpose, however, was one | met
in Canada, where / had parish for a short
time just after l came out from England, my
native land. He came alone and opened the
conversation in this way;
"'What will it cost me, minister, to get
marriedp
"'Two dollars for the license said, 'and
two for my fee'
'Wh-e-e-w,' he whistled. -Four dollarsl
Isn't there any cheaper way than thatp
"'You can get along without the license
l said, by having the bans published by me
for three successive Sundays in the church,
"'Won't twice dog he asked.
"'No,' replied.
"I can't leave them that long in the
ground, he said in a troubled tone, and it
will cost me S. for to tell you about them.'
"'What are you talking about, MANI
said thinking he, perhaps, was drunk.
"The potatoes, of course he said, Didn't
tell you about them9"
"'No,' said, what about themY
"'Well,' he said there's my field of pota-
toes, They're ripe and ready to gather. !
must get to work at once and fork them out
of the hills, but | have no one to pick them
up after me- Did you ever pick potatoesp
"'No said, Il never did, but | under
stand it's hard work.
"'It is that he replied, and I'd have to
pay man or boy at least S. to pick that
field and board him beside, Now the woman
I'm going to marry is a stout and willing girl
and she'll pick the field for nothing, if can
only get her in time. But the three weeks of
bans is going to put the work off too late.
What would you do9"
ITS a case where don't feel called on to
give any advice answered little testify,
as l could not help thinking of the willing.
bride breaking her back picking potatoes for
such a churl
"He considered a while, and at last decided
to spend So for a license, as he would thus
save So in cash on the potato picking and get
three weeks of hard work out of the willing
bride into the bargain.
'Some bridal parties are exceedingly iol-
ly," continued the talker, $50 much SO, in
fact, that | have often had to stop in the
middle of the service and lecture the bride
and bridesmaids for giggling, and others
again are SO solemn that feel it my duty to
cheer them up little | have a few old
stock jokes for such occasions, which never
fail to provoke a laugh. When give the
bride her marriage lines as we call the GER
tifcate, | occasionally add that have no
doubt she will hold the reins also. One bride
groom whom l cheered with the observation
that this was the end of all his troubles re-
monstrated with me, saying that his mar.
riage was really the beginning of his woes.
i, I
so rash a statement was:
my friend, did not say which eud
"But this did not seem to console him to
any great extent
THE "DISLIKIN' WENT AROUND
"An uncouth couple annoyed me into play
ing a practical joke on them once. 1t hap
pened in this way. They called on me just
as l was getting into my buggy to start on a
visiting tour. They were i'll looking, i'll man
nered people, and seemed altogether lacking
reverence for the ceremony or its conse-
quences. He was especially rough not to say
coarse and had evidently offended the bride
on the way to my house, for she looked sulky.
When | said;
"'Wilt thou have this woman to be thy
welded wifeP etc., he answered;
"'You bet
Il reproNeu MN, anC ne nnally responded
sulkily, 4 wull.'
"When l asked her, wilt thou have this
man to be thy welded husbandP ETC., she re-
pled
"No, / won't. I've taken a dislikin' to
him.
"And she would not and did not. SO they
went away quarreling, and was glad to see
the last of them.
1. 4
and the woman said she had changed her
mind and had got over her 'dislikin' TO him.
So they stood up again. But when put the
critical question to the man he answered
coolly:
No, l won't. have taken dislikin' to
her. And he turned ON his heel and walked
out of the house without another word, leav-
ing the woman crying with chagrin | was
sorry for her and angry with the man for
trihing with me, but could not help think
ing he had served her about right,
"About a week after that they both came
back again and begged me to marry them /
felt like setting the dog ON them, but my
CLOTH if nothing else, forbade that 50 stood
them up right there ON the veranda and be-
gan;
"'Do you take this woman etc, and DO
you take this man. etc. to which they both
answered | wull'
"'Well,' l said, it seems you are both will
ing this tlme But am not. / have taken
strong 'disikin' to both Of you, and you will
have to get some one else to marry you
''With this stepped back into the house,
closed the door and left them both standing
on the veranda looking as sheepish as you
please 10 amount of sermons would have
done as much gcad in vindicating the dignity
% Al, .t,,-el -, ,,,ob intalIactc and that vvae