davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Logan County banner. [volume] (Logan, W. Va.) 1889-1903, 1890-08-14
PooR-otD-MoRToN,3z
Tho vlce-President Is Very Dignifed But
Doesn't Know the Rules.

Tho vice-President Ii Very DIgnifisd hut
Doesn't Know the Rules.
Vice. President Morton is very fine
old gentleman and gifted in many re-
spects. He is diplomat of rare.qual-
tiles and / never saw another who could
wear wig with better grace. But
there is one thing he can not do. He
can not learn the rules of the Senate.
He presides with dignity, in fact lends
as much dignity to the position as any
man who has ever occupied the chair,
but he has to be prompted at nearly
every stage of the proceedings. Ed
munds is chief prompter, Ingalls, as
sistant prompter and Fry sometimes
acts as sub-assistant Edmunds occu-
pies the front seat almost under the
eyebrows of the presiding officer, and
constantly keeps on the watch to see
that Mr.. Morton makes no plumbers.
When some motion is made or a pre-
liminary question asked, the Vice
President, in hesitating sort of way,
begins to state the case as nearly as he
can get at it, all the time watching the
face of the distinguished Senator from
Vermont for signs of approval or cor
section. If the Vermont sage mods his
head the Vice-President with firmer
confidence, proceeds to state the
question. A look of disapproval will at
once bring the Vice-President to a
standstill, and then Mr.. Edmunds with
the least suspicion of twinkle under
his eyebrows, will rise and state, as II
in argument or suggestion to the chair,
what will be the proper statement
of the case. The Wlce-Presi-
dent Immediately reproduces this
language with graphophonic accuracy.
Sometimes Mr.. Morton gets the impress
sion that he knows enough about the
rules to take care of this business for
himself Then he almost invariably
falls into error. When he puts himself
to this position, Mr.. Edmunds and Mr..
Ingalls, appear in a quiet sort of way to
enjoy the situation. Sometimes the ono
and sometimes the other will get up,
and in parliamentary language, and
manner of extreme suavity, give the
presiding officer lecture on parliament
ary usage. Some of these discourses
are extremely amusing from their as
sumption of dignity and seriousness
while dealing with the most trivial
ponit of parliamentary order, (which to
the Vice. President is as perplexing as
the old Is puzzle. 1t is understood to
be very sore point with Mr.. Morton
that he has constantly to be coached by
these two gentlemen; but he can not
help himself, for, every time he makes
declaration of independence he gets
into trouble, and has to stand the deli
cate irony Of the Senator from Vermont.
IN. Y. Commercial.Advertis
The Logan County banner. [volume] (Logan, W. Va.) 1889-1903, 1890-08-14

AND YOU WON'T LET ME SEE THE CON.
TENTs?"
wrecked case, by an overdose of the ac-
cursed thing, sometimes there is an in
gust and verdict of death by misad-
venture, as in her case.
"Men and women with morbid tastes,
signing for forgetfulness or unknown
joys, or stimulated by the glowing de-
scriptions of the great writer who flew
to this awful vice as refuge from
physical pain, try it-and take to it.
"And now you know all about it
Hetty, and why it was that, when you
married me, you found me miserable
man. There's nothing morbid about
you, little woman, anyhow" And then
the door was flung wide open, and a
blue-eyed boy, some three years Of age,
rushed into the room. The child was a
picture Of health and strength and hap
piness.
"And there's nothing morbid about
him." added Lord Bargemont. HE
doesn't look much like the last Of his
line, does he, Hetty?"
And then Lord Bargemont submitted
to the common fate of fathers and
danced the child upon his knee toward
the haven of Banbury cross, and as he
did SO he forgot, for the time, all about
the first Lady Bargemont and the
brass bound box-St. James Gazette.
The Logan County banner. [volume] (Logan, W. Va.) 1889-1903, 1890-08-14

- a FUNNY THINt, hElIls SAID
HIS LORDsHIP.
anxious on her account. She took no
interest in any thing; she was subject
+ 10 severe headaches, so she told me; she
exhibited great dislike to society, and
was accustomed to shut herself up with
heF maid in her private apartments for
hours together. She grew morose and
melancholy, strange in her manner, and
more and more inclined for solitndel
her appetite failed, and her beauty
FADED before my very eyes One day l
-camn into her -beudeir suddenly. She
was sitting with mahogany BRASS
pound box open on the table before her.
"hen she saw me she closed the box
+ una locked it with a key which she
wore upon her watch chain.
My curiosity was aroused. What
On On earth have you got In that box,
blanche2' said. She laid her hand
upon IT Jcalously, and with an angry
LOOK IN her magnificent eyes-which,
snough we were not a year married, had
80 already grown dull and lackluster-she
ssiu: i hate impertinent curiosity in q
aSh, bargemont. This little box is
mere | keep my secrets-the secrets /
P',1e best In all the world, she added.
And YOU won't let me see the CON
@nts2 J SAID.
a.. = was angry at her want OF conf
,s. nSes and I'm ashamed 10 add, was
70 Father ale flrstp said my wife.
The Logan County banner. [volume] (Logan, W. Va.) 1889-1903, 1890-08-14
MODERN NAVAL WARFARE.
How War-ships VIII Approach Each Other
in Coming Engagements.

How War-Ships VIII Approach Each Other
in Coming Engagements.
Each vessel will clear for action as
soon as the other is discerned-perhaps
five miles away. Each will probably
slow down at first in order to gain time
for preparation, and especially for get
ting the steam pressure up to the high
est point Forced draft will at once be
started and the subdued roar OF the air
driven through the furnaces to acceler-
ate combustion, and the whir of the
dynamos will be added to the clang OF
the gun-breech blocks as they are swung
open to admit the projectile to the
breech, the hum of the ammunition
hoists raising powder and she'll to the
decks, and the quiet, firm orders of au.
thority. On deck the Calling guns and
revolving cannon and the rapid-fire guns
in the tops are got noiselessly into readi-
ness, the Captain takes his place in the
armored coming tower with the chief
quartcrmaster and his aid, the executive
officer assumes charge of the battery
and remains near at hand to take the
Captains place in case of his death or
disability, the range-finders are got into
position. and the officer in charge begins
to report from time to time the distance
Of the enemy. now drawing closer.
Probably not shot will be fred until
this distance is reduced to 1900 yards,
and probably both ships will be pointed
toward each other until that time. But
now what will the contestants do?
II has been held that both will
advance steadily toward each other
each commander hoping that some
false move on the part Of his adversary
will enable him to rush forward, dis
charge his bow torpedo at 500 yards,
and perhaps follow 1t up with his ram
and end the fight at once-until they
have approached SO close, say 500 yards,
that neither dares to swerye, less he
himself be rammed; 80 that the ships
will at length collide, end ON, and may
be both sink.
The various inventions Of the last
few years-rapid-fire guns, high ex-
plosives, torpedoes submarine boats,
dynamite guns, and range-hnders, the
increased power and perfection Of steam
and electric machinery, the improve
ments in powder and in steel for pro-
jectiles and for armor-have not revolu-
tionized naval science 50 much as they
have broadened it. The principles Of
strategy remain the same, and so does
the necessity for the seaman's skill
Engineers construct, inventors invent
experiments are tried, sham bastles ara
fought, and heated discussions agitate
the naval mind, but the only tsiag that
can determine the real condit.yrs OF
modern naval warfare IL msdcrn
naval war-Lieut B. - Flake. "a
Forum.
The Logan County banner. [volume] (Logan, W. Va.) 1889-1903, 1890-08-14
MEXICAN PoLlTENEss.
Unique street-Car Manners In Vogue NJ
-Guadalajara -

Unique street-Csr Manners IN vogue ~
aaaAs'Jafa
A correspondent o. the new 1orA
Tribune gives an account OF the streee
car service in the city OF Guadaia]ara'
Mex that to tine, hurrieu New iorker'
who is accustomed 10 having drivers
conductors ana eievateo railroau uarus
shout at him exploslyely, seems strange
enough to be true only OF some otnef
planet:
The manners OF Inc duaoaialarah
are In keeping Win the cheeriuiness
and friendliness OF TINS Guy imagihe
yourself entering streetcar IN Now
York-or any other city OF tne great
United States-and, before taking your
seat, bewing,shat 4n=ha na,aato your 1ei-
low-passengers, none OF whom you nave
ever before seen. Ihen suppose your
self arrived at your destinationi you
rise, smile friendly fareweii 70 ene car
in general shake HANDS Win tne con.
ductor, and, with polite incilna.lon OF
the head, take leave OF the driver! me
number OF times l nave Witnessed sucn
exhibitions OF polteness cohyihce lie
that 1t Is one oil the customs OF inc
country-and a good one TO ADOPT as l
found to my advantage MY courtesy
to the conductors OF the Guadaia?ara
tram-cars-many OF whom are Jealous
students OF the EngilSh language anu
The Logan County banner. [volume] (Logan, W. Va.) 1889-1903, 1890-08-14

ry meme 81 all people in the world?
I hadn't money, and you might have
married in your own set II you'd wanted
to- Tell me, dear, why did King Cop
-hetua wed with the Beggar lMaida"
"Its funny thing, Hetty," said his
serdshipg with smile Of affection, that
Bluebeard's wife Is always hankering
after the key of the blue closet, and, as
The advertisement says, won't be happy
till she gets it. I'll tell you why mar
ried you, little Hetty. / married you
as a duty, dear; and because was a
proud and miserable man, hopeless and
childiess, the last of my line. didn't
want the -Bargemont title to die out;
and married you, Hetty, because you
Mere the prettiest, wholesomest, health
lest, honestest little maid had clapped
eyes upon, and because there was no
nonsense and nothing morbid about you.
In love with you, Hetty, when
l married you; l don't mind con-
Tossing that did it as duty; but I've
learned to love you; you healed my
wounds, and-woll, you're Casterton's
mother And you agreed to marry me
out of pity; know you did"
but was in love with you, Jack,
all the same; for pity. we know, is
akin to love; and / know you do love
me, Jack, and dearly; and it's because
you do love me that you're going to tell
me all about her. y $500
And then Lord Bargemont sighed.
IF must tell you, | must he said;
land when have told you, Hetty, you
will pity me all the more. came into
the Bargemont title when / was boy
of fifteen; the court of chancery took
care of me, and | hadn't areal friend
In the wide world. went to Oxford;
I was toadied, caresseu and fattered,
because was lord and rich. Then /
I went into the Guards. and ! saw life.
/ drained the cup of pleasure to the
dregs, and / was a blase man OF the
world at five and twenty. People
looked upon me iust.as big fish that
mad to be caught at any price. Willy
mothers and chaperons threw their flies
in vain / was absolutely heart whole;
and, though they tried their most kill
ing bats though husbands and uncles
stood by with GAIT or landing net,
ready to do their duty-yet the skillfull
fishers men and women, failed to hook
me. But met my fate at last
''She was very beautiful to all mems
eyes-clever, accomplished and ambi-
tious, we'll born and well bred, an only
daughter, ready to do her duty and to
sell herself to the highest bidder She
was magnificent animal. don't be-
lieve she had a heart but her imperial
beautyattracted me; she was the cynos-
ure of every eye. I proposed to Lady
Blanche Middleton, was accepted, and
! we were married. For month l was
-~happy--happy as a-efiid in the possess
sion Of a new and expensive toy. Then
l discovered that my handsome wife
did not love me, But she gave me no
cause for jealousy, though became very
The Logan County banner. [volume] (Logan, W. Va.) 1889-1903, 1890-08-14
cLARksoN.s WRATH.
Tho Iowa spokesman Talks Too lIuch for
His own Good.

Tho Iowa spokesman Talks Too Mucn Tor
His Own Good.
Mr.. j. 8. Clarkson, the First Assistant
Postmaster General, is . wonderful
man. He has been cutting of the heads
Of Democratic postmasters until he IL
tired OF the work, and now he Is deliv.
ering political lectures at the North by
way of variety. He is not only wonder
full, but great A few years ago, while
he WAS editor Of. the Iowa State Regis
ter, he printed in his editarial columns
a statement to the effect that when the
great ''star-shower" occurred in 1889
the falling stars could be heard rafting
on the leaves OF the trees.
This sort of thing is Characteristic Of
Clarkson. He has now quit telling
about the stars in order to tell some
wonderful stories about the South. The
star-story was merely an innocent lie,
but the lies about the South are told IN
order to help the Republican party.
These political lies are patent enough
to every body except the deluded people
who sit and listen to him, and . good
Of Glarksen' statements to be lies Il
they read the newspapers. His com.
plant is that Republicans arc not al.
lowed to hold Office in the South, and
yet there is hardly county in any part
Of the South whore Republicans are not
holding Office.
As for the negroes, it is natural thai
their appointment as postmasters in
communities where there are plenty Of
white Republicans should cause irrita-
ton; but do the Southern people pre-.
vent the negro from holding Office at the
North? Has the Southern bufldozer ter
rorized the President and Mr.. Clarkson
to such an extent that they are afraid
to appoint negroes to Office in the
North2 II not, why-hase- no negroes
been appointed to office in the North?
These are very interesting questions.
The President and Mr.. Clarkson have
| not hesitated to appoint negro postmas-
tiers in the South, where they knew that
such appointments are likely TO cause
irritation; but why have they hesitated
to appoint negro postmasters at the
North? Are the Northern negroes unfit
to hold Officer Would@the white people
protest against such appointments
There are a great many negroes in Iowa
MIR. Clarkson's State-and many OF
them are said to be we'll educated; but
| how many negro officials are there in
Iowa? In the whole State has dMr. Clark
son appointed one negro postmaster?
It would seem from this that the gay
| buffdozer has entrusted his bulldozing
| operations to the present Administers
| tion.-Atlanta Constitution.
The Logan County banner. [volume] (Logan, W. Va.) 1889-1903, 1890-08-14
uTREcHT's DOLL HOUSE.
1t Is SO Beautiful That All the Children In
the World should See 1t.

-
the World Should See 1t.
In the museum of Utrecht is a dolls
house, so perfect and beautiful that all
the children in the world should see it.
1t was made two hundred years ago,
after the instructions of an old lady,
who had determined that it should be
as finely finished as any real piece Of
work destined for the use of actual
persons.
She paid great artists to paint the
tiny pictures which it contains, and
prominent upholsterers to make it's
furniture. According to the description
OF it in ''Friesland Meres, the little
house contains nine rooms and hall,
which are peopled by small creatures
almost too real, dignified and busysto be
dolls.
In the hall the nurse is talking to =
very smart fcotman, who is coming ont
of one room; perhaps he is telling hey
it is very late, for upstairs, In the muir.
sery, two children are in bed. Other
nurses are waiting on. children, and two
grand ladies, who may be aunts or
governesses, are having tea at table.
Then there is a beautiful bedroom
where lady, dressed for dinner, stands
by her toilet table, which holds look
ing-glass, lovely silver jars and bottles,
and china vases. There is space enough
in the room for bed, large armchair
and pictures.
In the little business room, man,
looking very real and much absorbed in
his occupation, Is at work writing, with
bills and other papers scattered about
him, and in the laundry the maids are
just as busy as they should be in real
life washing, wringing and ironing
clothes.
There are two ladies and three gentle
men in the drawing-room, looking SO
polite and evidently talking SO cleverly
that one would not for the world inter
rupt them. The ladies wear lovely
dresses, and hold their fans in the most
correct manner, and one of the gentle
men has a yioloncello at hand, ready to
entertain the company.
The walls are covered with lovely
pictures, and even the ceiling Is deco
rated. The furniture is not only correct,
but very handsome, and scattered around
the room are those articles about which
grown people are always saying: Dear
me, how exquisite! Where did you pick
it up?"
In the dining-room, which is comfort
able and home-like, some gentlemen in
old-fashioned clothes are smoking long
pipes, and probably telling good stories.
Two globes miniature copies Of those
used in our. school rooms, stand in one
corner Of the room, and finely carved
ivory mantelpiece tells the stories Of
New Testament history.
II one Of the rooms could possibly be
nicer than another, one would say that
the kitchen was the best of all 1t is
perfect In every appointment and the
cook who presides over 1t Is all that .
cook could be. -- Youths Companion.
The Logan County banner. [volume] (Logan, W. Va.) 1889-1903, 1890-08-14

THE SURPLUS BUSTERS.
A Deficit In Place of Ono Hundred MIL
ions in the Treasury.

A Deficit In Place of One Hundred Mill
lions in the Treasury.
When Grover Cleveland sent his IA
nous tariff-reform message to Congress
he drew attention to the fact that the
country was confronted with "a condi-
tion--not a theory" That condition
was an overwhelming and growing sur
plus in the National treasury, due to
over taxation. Mr.. Cleveland proposed
to reduce this surplus by relieving the
people from the burden of unnecessary
taxation, and the Democrats in control
of the popular branch of Congress re-
sponded to his demand by bill which
supplied in small part the remedy
which he proposed. This measure
the Mills bill-was defeated in the
Senate under the control OF the Repub-
licans
1t is only little more than a year
since Grover Cleveland went out OF
Office. And now it is reported from
Washington that the ensuing year will
probably show deficit of 500, 1000, 900
instead of surplus of 500, 600, 600.
How has this remarkable change been
brought about Not by reduction OF
taxation because the=taxes5 have not
been reduced. Not by any increased
necessities of the Government, for there
has been no war nor great National
calamity demanding extraordinary ex-
penditures. There has been no vast
scheme of National improvements to
drain the treasury of its resources.
What is the explanation? ~
The process of converting huge sur
plus into an appalling deficit within two
years has been clearly outlined by the
legislation which has been passed and
which is further projected by the pres
emit Congress- The estimates are made
on the basis of the extravagant appro-
priations which are outlined and the
projected changes in the revenue sys-
TEN. With the exception of occasional
objections to some meritorious bill for
public building, there has been a uni
form disposition to swell the appropria-
tions in every possible direction, The
plan has been seriously contemplated to
absorb all possible surplus revenuesSby
voting dependent pensions, services pen
sions, back pensions and pensions under
various designations. II the pension
raids do not suffice to get rid Of the rev.
ennes. then it is hoped the Mckinley
bill will do the business-not by re-
ducing taxation, but by increasing 1T to
such an extent. as to prohibit certain
importations and transferring the taxes
heretofore paid to the Government into
the pockets Of private individuals and
corporations paid in the form Of boun-
ties.
| Which is the better plan for getting
cid of the surplus-the Cleveland plan
of reducing unnecessary taxes or the
pending plan for increasing appropria-
tions and also increasing taxation on
imports to a prohibitory figure? That
will be the question for the people to
| decide. X ansas CITY Star.
The Logan County banner. [volume] (Logan, W. Va.) 1889-1903, 1890-08-14
Rates Of Advertising.
PERSONAL AND iMPERsoNAL.

The oldest college grNdunte In the
United States is said 10 b. Amos +.
Parker. who 10 nincty-cight years Of
age, and was graduated from the Univcr
sity OF Vermont In 1873.
John Palmer, the greatest stampc col.
lector In the world. lives over dirty
little shop In tho Strand. London. He
has over million forged stamps in his
possession and has exposed many stamp
forgers.
Private Richardson, the only Man.
chester man now surviving Of the Gal.
liant Six Hundred, served twelve years
has no pension. is nearly blind and
drifts from workhousc to workhouse. A
dozen other survivors Of Balaklava ARE
paupers either In or out Of warehouses;
One Of the few mon who sat with
Clay and Adams, and still visits the
house, is Mr.. Clingman, who was him
self Congressman In their time and
unit the outbreak Of the war. He Is
often seen about the House during the
sessions, In which he takes close in
Baron Ferdinand Swift the prose-
lytizing atheist who died in Venice q
short time ago ut the age Of sixty.
climbed the Campanile Of St Mark on
horseback, padded from Venice to
Trieste in canoe, jumped over ranks
of drilling soldiers on hunter and
rowed down the Grand canal from tho
bare back of horse standing on bar
rel.
Some of the well-known women Of
America who are studying designs sub
mitted for monuments or memorials OF
deceased husbands are Emma Abbott,
Mrs. General Grant, Mrs. General Sher-
idan, Mrs. General Logan, Mrs. Jeffer-
son Davis, Mrs. Wilbur T. Storey and
Mrs. Cyrus Mccormick, Of Chicago. All
these ladies have expressed prefer
ence for shaft or equestrian figure.
jules Marie Millet, nephew Of
J. F. Millet, the famous French painter,
makes his home in New York, where he
earns his living by turning wood-brier
pipes His father died when he was
only four years old, and for some time
the children were supported by their
uncle. Jules was appenticed to = wood
carver, with whom he learned his trade.
A few night ago the Old Curiosity Club,
of New York, took jules Millet to the
American art galleries to see his uncle's
pictures.
Aunt Nancy Luce, IN eccentric
character known to thousands ofsummer
visitors at Martha's Vineyard, died not
long ago. She won notoriety II not
fame by reason OF pamphlet sold on
the island along with her photograph,
entitled "a Memorial TO Two Favorfte
Chickens During the last years of her
life Aunt Nancy spent her time training
bantam chickens until they were capable
Of performing many really Interesting
tricks. When her pets died she was
almost inconsolable and erected marble
tombstones in their memory. She wrote
verses to them in eulogy Of their moral
character and intelligence. In her
photograph two dearly beloved hens are
pictured seated on her lap