The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1890-09-17
PfTH AND POINT.

11oSO y~t- SouiPAceS"
my suit that orderedT' Finklestein-.
"No, half not yet cut do clot', but l
half your pill already made out Chi.
cago Post.
Il hate him!-I hate him as do
poison" ''Then why do you have him
visit you?' 'We1l, I'll tell you, but
you must not betray me. My wife does
my cooking, aud want to ruin his d.
gestion. '-Harper's Bazaar.
First Messenger Boy say, yer
there, wat fur yer runnin' down the
street just now?" Second Messenger
Boy-"Ah, com-off. Some bloke guy
me push an started me runnin' an
wuz too lazy to stop. See?"
When man has two cigars, a good
one and one intolerably bad, and he
gives away the former and smokes the
stoga himself, that man comes about as
near Christian perfection as it is pos.
sible for a man to get.-Boston Tran.
script
II see by the newspapers, re-.
marked Mrs. Bunting, "that a petrified
jaw two feet long has been found in Cal.
ifornia." "Why, you never told me
that your ancestors came from that
part of the country" replied her hus'
band. Figaro
Lawyer Ito Burglar)-"Don't take
all / have. It's ruin" Burglar-''Well,
I'll tell you what I'll do, pard. l won't
divvy now, but if got snagged by the
police I'll let you defend me and go you
halves if you get me off. See?"-Pitts'
burgh Dispatch.
Mrs. Higgins-(to her star boarder)
Wont you try the chicken, Mr..
McJunkin?" Mountaineering it to
his neighbor) "Thanks, no; but the
Judge here is the man to do that. +"
Mrs. Higgins-"Why?" McJunkin-
"He's used to trying tough characters,
you know Inter Ocean.
No Responsibility. $50 you are
married, Jack?" II am, jim" II
hope you considered the matter we'll.
It is a serious matter assuming tho re-
sponsibilities involved in marriage"
you're wrong, my friend. l have no
responsibility at all now. My wife's
the boss. Boston Courier.
-'l'd like to ask you how you killed
| this chicken" said the homeless young
man to his landlady. why, the girl
| cut its head off, of COURSE" with a
hatchet?'' ITO be sure; you seem I'M
accountably interested" mo, but /
would like to know where you buy your
hatchets. Washington Post.
-Softpate-" ~ don't fawncy the style
of sports in vogue just now Think
they're wather dull, you know. Just
think of the good old days when they
used to hunt the stag, and the boar,
and all that sort of thing" Miss Sharpe
Hunt the bore? All, yes! What a
pity you did not live in those days"'-
/ America.
Uncle John-"It pains me, Charles
to hear you forever saying what great
things you are going to do next week,
next month, or next year. Why DOM
you try and do something now? There
is no time like the present. Charles
"And it is for that reason, Uncle john
that mean to enjoy it all can. %
--Whiffers--" marrow escape Bliffer:
had yesterday, wasn't it?" Miffers-
81 didn't hear of it." Why
that bore, De Gabble, button-holed him
on the street and began telling him al
about that first baby of his; but fortu
nately just as he got started a runaway
horse dashed into them and Differs was
killed. Good News.
| Anxious Mother-"I want an ordel
to send my daughter to an insane asy
lum for treatment. She is going tt
! marry man thirty years older tina,
herself" Judge-"W why, madam, girl
marry men every day, and are not con
sidered insane" Anxious Mother
Eyes, but the old man my daughte
wants to marry is poor."-N. Y. Weekly