Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1890-09-17
From the Detroit Free Press.

We extract the following from the
last issue of ''The Arizona Kicker"
They Got Left.-Feeling the need of
a few days rest from brain work, we
HE'D ourself to Jim's Peak last week: to
remain about ten days. Soon after
supper a stranger approached us ana
gave us hint that the boys were plan
ming a serenade, and that we bad better
have speech ready.
In this Western country some words
have double meaning. A "serenade"
may mean sweet, soft music by the
band, with call from lot of jolly good
fellows. or it NAV mean visit from the
gang who are provided with rope but
no music In order to be on the safe
side we took up a temporary home IN a
thicket. and from thence discovered
that this was to be a rope serenade.
Some of the boys from Johnson's ranch
had determined to lynch us as great
moral warning, but while they were
hunting for us around the hotel, we were
meandering through the jack-pines and
midnight darkness to safer quarters.
In one sense, we don't blame the
bows so much. An occasional hanging
adds zest and gusto to this Western life,
and it is very rare that the victim s
friends can claim that any mistake was
to be blamed for their lack of taste.
We have it on good authority that they
meant to hang us with an old mule chain.
There were thirty of them in the crowd.
We make no boasts, but let our readers
watch for developments. Well have
sheriffs and detectives here after at least
thirty-One Of them, before the week is
out, and then we shall borrow ashotgun
and go on hunt after the odd one.
Sold Again.-Our esteemed contem-
porary has made another dismal failure.
On Monday he came out in double
loaded twO-cOlumn article on the
Wharton shooting case, and tried his
best to prove that we had an active
hand in it, and were responsible for
Judge Johnson's death. At the coro-
<ner's inquest held on that same after
noon, Maj. Bliss testified:
81 was sitting at a table in the Red
Cross saloon with the editor of The
Kicker We were there to talk over
the Mckinley bill and to take the
initiatory steps toward establishing an
other Sunday school. Judge Johnson
came in. He was pretty drunk. He
saw Bob Wharton at table beyond us,
and pulled his gun The editor of The
Kicker kindly asked him to put it up,
and offered him years subscription to
the paper to 90 home and take a nap.
The Judge refused and pressed forward
10 get shot. Next moment Wharton
dropped him"
This was the truth and the whole
truth, and yet our jealous-pated con-
temporary, hoping he had hold on US,
tried his hardest to make out that but
for us there would have been no shoot
ing! We used to refer to him as tooth
less, knock-kneed, bow-legged, lop-
cared, hump-backed, white-livered,
cross-eved, and so on. We have a
mortgage on his whole outfit, and we
used to threaten to foreclose on it. We
used to meet him on the street and
scare him into kneeling down and beg
ging our pardon. We now let him have
his own way. Some day we will bury
him in our private raveyard-some day
| when he has tired us completely out.
They Are Wrong.-Those of our citi-
zens who are asserting that our late
trouble with the postmaster was caused
! by jealousy of his place on our part are
doing us grave injustice. True, we
were candidate for postmaster, and
true, also, we are mighty sight better
men for the place than the present in
cumbent, but we are not Jealous.
Wanamaker refused to appoint us and
we refuse to wear Wanamaker's cloth
ing. It's an even thing thus far.
The trouble began as soon as this man
entered the post-office. He held back
our mail and made US weary in many
many other ways. We pounded him
half to death one day, and for two
months he was a model postmaster.
Then he got sassy and shot at us, and
we left bullet in his shoulder. That
lasted him until the other dav He
then got on his ear and tried to prick
us with bowie knife, and in sheer self
defence we shot off part of his left ear
and banged him with the butt of the re-
volver. 1t was in the interest of the
whole public. He'll be on deck in a
week, and for the next three months
he'll work like a steer and be as pleas
ant as peaches.