Morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven [Conn.]) 1848-1894, 1890-08-29
NOTHING.

France and American pork. What has
France to do with the American porks
Nothing; that's the trouble.-Lowen Citi-
zen.
''Who are all those men going into the
iail., s0They are reporters. tsWhat are
they going into the Jail for!' There is to
be a secret execution there to-day. Cape
Cod Item. ea~ i'si -Hi =
my rich uncle has got the 'airship fad, n
said young Gyboy ..He is going up next
week am his heir, and think there
will be money in the heitshin.ilr gasteh
Transcript.-siG bHa SisVat ~ .f.-af.E 81;
| Bill Collector Now then, sir, look sharp,
if you please. I've, called again for Misfit's
account, and time is money with me.
Dudeson-Ah! is it. Well, then, I'll pay
you in time THE Jester.
A delinquent subscriber presented a
Georgia editor with a beet weighing twenty
pounds, and the editor publicly thanked
the donor for $50 characteristic gift
Burlington Free Press.
ItsWas Verbal, al,-Lawyer-Have You got
a verbal contract with him. Pat-lndade
l have, but didn't bring it wild me, for
the razon that 1 don't behave it's wurth the
paper it's written on.-Texas Siftings.
''Were any of your Enclosures to the
IndStZlneS acctpUtu uy tne euipoE. asheu
| one young writer of another. Nothing,
l believe, but the stamps that 1 enclosed
| for return postage. e."-Washington Post.
Washington was great man and he &C
complished marvels for his country, but
then he didn't have as much to worry him
as modern statesmen have. His trousers
never bagged at the knees.-Somerville
journal.
She Cpolitely)-But must not keep You;
| let me take YOU over and present YOU to
| Miss Nevill. He with gallantryl-Oh,
| dear, no; I'm perfectly contented where
am. l never go for bellies and beauties.
| CTableau).-Hartford Ccurant.
Young Mr.. Macey-Miss Edwards says
that the women in ancient Egypt used to
run their husbands and all the household
| to suit themselves. Lucky We live in
America, ell. Mr.. Binthayre-Are you mar
| ried, Macy. Mncey-No. Mr.. Binthayre-
| thought not.-l.ife.
First Tramp-Hello, Baggsy,. what did
| you get at that honse. Second Tramp
| The woman give me good dinner. Ne
see, | worked on her feelin's. First
Tramp dnterrupting in disgustl-Wha-ati
| You worked. Amt We ashamed o yer
self, Baggsys-West Shore.
Pleasant-''Well, Susie, how do you get
Il Will NotiE VI o2i-
beautifully, dear Henry, BY the time We
are married 1 shall he perfect cook, and
I shall be so happy, especially when YOU
are sick, for 1 am learning all sorts of nice
receipts for sick people. ."-Fliegende Blat
i ter.
| An Enterprising Journalist.-Countr,
| editor-Jim. understand that old ston,
building at the crossroads is to be tori
down. The printer-Yes, they begin to
morrow. Country editor-Wel, Just sliI
around and put a live toad in the wall
We must have something to fill up viii
this week.-New York Weekly.
A new use has been thought out for tn,
phonograph which will save the expense
of burglar alarm: A fierce bull dog il
made to bark into it. 1t is then attached
to the inside of the door of the house {,
be protected, and but little machinery j
needed to produce the most fearful alarm
as soon as the door is meddled with
Fliegende Blatter.