davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Echo de l'ouest. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1883-1929, 1890-11-27
POUR RlRE.

Que gagniez vous dams le com.
merce? demandait qu-lqu'un q un
petit industrlel donntz-m en-
chiffres ronds la somme de vos be-
ne6ces.
lie chiffre rond, c'est facile:
zero, monsieur.
On salt qu'une Am6rlcalne Went
de prendre 8 degrees CONNIE doc
teur on med -cine q Paris. @ 6v6-
nement inspire q un journal cstte
nouveIle a la main ticipee.
"Un monsieur tout f ire monte
qnatre d quatre chez son medecin.
Ce dernir ced6 ga clientele de-
puis peu q une femm -docteur, cir
constance que lie client ignore.
-Vite! vitr crie-t-il q la bonne,
dites au docteur quill vienne chez
moi.
-Imposslble, on CO moment,
monsi ur.
Comment, impossible? nnais
ma femme est en- NAL d'enfant. %.
LIE docteur aussi, monsieur"
***
Adolphe.-Moi, Paul, je ne con-
nails rien de meilleur, le matin,
qu'un ,,bitter'.
Paul.-Je connais quelque cho-
80 de meilleur encore, moi.
QUEST ce done?
-Cest. deux "bitters".
Echo de l'ouest. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1883-1929, 1890-11-27

L'6cole normal- McGill de Mont.
real Went d'obt-nir du gouv+rne-
ment provincial un sub ,ide de S40,.
600 pour raidar faire construlre
un nouvel 6dItice
Echo de l'ouest. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1883-1929, 1890-11-27

tr'elles emploient de nos compa
triotes CONNIE commits, ct il est d.
notre devoir d. patronner les mai
sons qul donnent du travail au,
n6tres.
Done de preference, quand nous
avons des achats a faire en- mar
chandises seches allons chez:
M lie j A.nnrtta Lahreche,
Commits chez Wingate & Fills, Marchan
discs Seches, coin de la 6 me Avenue
Nord ct Lyndale.
M lie Amelia Bl.to1eau,
Commis chez Wingate & Fills, Marchan
discs Seches, coin de la 20eme Avenue
Nord ct de lAvenue Washington.
Young & B lang r,
Marchands de Hardes Faites, coin de Ia
rue Main ct de pAvenue Centrale.
MelI- Ednh Rob1d+aux,
Commis chez j. H. Craig & Co., Marchan,
discs Seches, 1l3 Ave. entrale.
M IL Eta Rob1dpaux,
Commits chez j. H. Craig & Co., Marchan-
discs Seches, 1.3 Ave. Centrale.
M-Ile Rose Saucer,
Commis chez Segelbaum Freres, Mar
chandises Seches, 257 Ave. Nicollet.
T. Connolly & Gle,
Pompes funebres, 25, 2e rue s.
z. Dem, ulrs & Fills,
Epiciers, No. 9, 2me rue N.
A. LavalI64.
Coupeur chez Bentson's Tailoring Co.,
III Avenue Nicollet.
S. Turgeon.
Agent, The California Wine House,
253 ct 255 2eme Ave s.
T. F. Rlviere,
Pharmacien, 701 rue Adams, N. E.
Ed. Thibodpau,
Photographic, % Nicollet Island.
III L.. Lallb .te,
Medecin ct Chirurgien, 1876 Ave. Centrale,
Telephone 1905.
G.. Dfziel,
Medecin ct Chirurgien, 1876 Ave. Centrale
Telephone 285
A Y. Labra-b,
Forgeron, entire la 5e rue ct le marche
au foin.
o T-ssier,
Avocat, $50 Temple Court, coin de l'Av.
Washington ct de Pave. Hennepin.
J. b. Bnt,npan,
Avocat, 1899. 3eme Rue Nord.
Charles A Dnhy,
Avocat, 81 Washington Av. S. Chamore6. 6.
w. S. Hamilton,
Marchand de meubles neufs ct de secon-
de main, 105-107 Ave. Centrale.
z Dement, a,
Notaire, Chambre 8, No. 9. 2e rue N.
H. F Li|IihridgA.
Patisseries, 13 Is, II, 10, 3erue s.
A. Sanhorn,
Biioutier, 26 Washington Ave Sud.
A. Grignon.
Forman for Mcdonald & Delamater, Sash,
Doors, Blinds, Window and Door Fra
mes, Mouldings, Brackets at lowest pri-
ce. Telephone No. 1922. Nicoliet
Island, Minneapolis, MINI.
Jos. w. Dunont.
Bijoutier ct Horloger, 11915 Ave. Central.
L Tuscany.
Salon, IA. 1st Street North.
I,ouis LaramAo.
Harnais, 3O4 Ave. Nicollet.
J TT. Paioment.
Commits chez Segelbarm Freres, Mar
chandises Seches, 257 Ave. Nicollet.
/ Lonia Desrosiera,
Commits chez Altman & Cie., Hardes Fai-
tes, 81 ct 80 Ave. Washington 8.
q. Dnhe an,
Commis chez Jnli's Rees, Hardes Faites,
Avenue Hennepin.
w. j. Marchand,
Commits chez s. E. Olson & Gle Mar
chandises Seches, 213 Nicollet Ave.
" Heath,
Successeur de W. H. Adamson. avances
faite sur toutes sortIs deficits personals
telles que Montres, Diamants, Che
veaux, Voitures, etc.. toutes affaires fai-
tes privement. Bureru euvert le soir.
w O Tessier,
Medecin ct Chirurgien, coin des Avenues
Washington ct Plymouth.
J Mnnahan.
Echo de l'ouest. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1883-1929, 1890-11-27
CARIF DES ANNONCES.
Par sema1ne

Par sema1ns
|Un Pouce. & sc
IUne Colonne 700
Tariff special pour les announces au mois
let q l'annee. Par lignes
lAvis-ChaQue insertion. 10 cents
Avis de Deces. es.............,... cents
Avis de marriages, so cents.
Demandes d'emploi--demandes de do.
|mestiques ou mployes-annonces pour
chambre ou pensicn-annonces pour OBJ
jets perdus OH trouves,
Au taux de UN CENTIN par met.
Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1890-07-25
Before We Turn to Dust.

How long will human body remain
in the earth before it decays until it can
not be distinguished from the surround :
ing clay is a question as yet undecided by
the scientists. Much depends upon the
character of the soil and the different
elements of which it is composed. In
countries abounding in limestone, or,
again, in regions thoroughly saturated
with alkaline waters, human flesh wilt
retain natural coler and iirmness for an
indefinite period of time. The bogs of
Ireland have yielded up bodies fresh and
natural as life that had been buried in
their Shiny depths for Centuries. 1t is
said to be an historical fact that the
bodies of three Roman soldiers were
found in peat bog on the Emerald Isle,
in the year 1869 A. D., fresh and life
like, although they had been buried al
most sixteen centuries. - Commercial Ad-
reTfiser.
Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1890-07-25
A Grateful Japanese Priest.

know an American who commissioned
an agent to go to Japan in order to buy
the quantity carved panels which adorned
one of the best and last of the very
ancient temples of Japan. The old priest
in the temple disliked to part with his
treasure and, indeed, he persistently de-
clined to do so while one bid after an
other, of increasing sums of money, was
made to him. Not at all dcspairing of
the capture of this bric-a-brac, my
American friend went to a Fifth avenue
cabinet maker and procured handsome
rosewood set of bedroom furniture. This
he shipped to the priest. This gift so
delured the old Jap that he stripped his
temple not only of the panels but of
many other things priceless to a con.
nossieur and sent them over to America.
- Chatter
Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1890-07-25
An Infant Giantess.

Pine Level, hamlet in Texas, just
across the line dividing the State from
Louisiana, boasts of phenomenon in the
shape of girl not yet quite ten years
old who has already attained the height
of five feet, ten inches. She Is the
daughter of James Rutherford, engineer
at the lumber mill of Carter, Robinson g.
Co., and who is himself giant iii site,
while his wife is six feet and quarter In
height. The girl, who was, her parents
say, an unusually small, sickly baby, be-
gan to grow when she was about six
years old, and in four years has gained
two feet and half, an almost unprece-
dented growth. She is stout and devel-
oped in proportion, and has the strength
of man, but her mind is feeble, or else
has been so outstripped by her body as
to give it no chance to develop. The
young giantess presents most remark
able spectacle with her childish face and
dress, seated playing in the sand or anus
ing herself with a DOLL Washington
Star,
Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1890-07-25
The Newest Thing in Thieyery.

The newest thing in Inspector Byrnes's
line was developed when Detective Wolf
brought in Antonio Frosnello, lad
young in years, but evidently precocious
in crime.
Antonio is an Italian, fourteen years
old. He lives at 102 Mott street, and
for living blacks passengers boots on
the South Ferry line of boats.
Sunday afternoon Young Antonio
sauntered into T. Goldesman's photo
graphic gallery, 361 Canal street, and
told the artist that he wanted to sit for
his picture. The lad was attired in his
best Sunday clothes, but his appearance
was not quite in keeping with the impor-
tance of the event. He said that the picture
was to be present to his sweetheart, a
Neapolitan beauty, and he wanted to ap-
pear at his very best. He asked the
photographer to loan him his watch and
chain for the occasion.
All unsuspecting, the photographer
did so. The picture was taken, and the
operator went into the dark room, leav-
ing Antonio alone. When he came out
the boy had gone, and with him the gold
watch, chain and medals attached, worth
$200.-New York Sun.
Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1890-07-25
HER LITTLE BROTHERS, BET.

Little Tommy was entertaining one of
his sisters admirers until she appeared.
"Don't you come to see my sisterG' he
inquired.
"Yes, Tommy, that's what I come
for"
"You like her immensely, don't
youa"
"Of course I admire her very much.
Don't you think she's nicea"
"Well, I have to, cause she's my
sister; but she thumps me pretty hard
sometimes. But let's see you open your
mouth once. Now shut it tight till 1
count ten. There-I knowed you could
do it."
"Why, Tommy, who said I couldn'tl"
sob, nobody but my sister,"
"What did she say9"
"Well, she said you hadn't sense
enough to keep your mouth shut, and !
bet her two big apples you had; and you
have, haven't you9 And you'll make
her stump up the apples, won't youG"
The young man did not wait to see
whether she would "stump up" or not.
The Ledger.
Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1890-07-25
A Potato for a Penwiper.

''See that potato9' said the clerk, in
one of the large hotels, as he pointed to
huge specimen gracefully balanced on
the box of toothpicks.
"Yes, sir; what of it2"
"That is my penwiper. l find it the
most improved penwiper of the age.
When guest signs the register, take
the pen and hurl It's point into the pota-
to. In an instant the pen is perfectly
clean and ready for the next signer. The
juice in the potato keeps the nib of the
pen soft and free from dirt. After the
potato gets too old it can be thrown away
and replaced by another. l have tried
about everything in the market, but l
think nothing in the line of penwiper
can compare with good old potato. y
Detroit Free Press.
Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1890-07-25
A MATTER. OF FACT AUDITOR.

"Fellow citizens" thundered the i'm
passioned orator, bringing his fist down
hard on the table, "what, ask again, is
our country coming toa And echo an
swers 'what2'"
"Pardon me, sir, interposed mild
looking man in the audience, rising to
his feet, "did understand your ques-
tion to be: what is our country coming
to2'"
eyes, SIR"
"And you say echo answers 'what2' I"
"That is what said, sir"
''Then there's something wrong with
the acoustics of this building" said the
mild looking man, shaking his head in
a perlexed way and sitting down again.
Chicago Tribune.
Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1890-07-25
Discoverer Of Africa's Diamond Field

O'Reilly an old man, who is said to
have been the first individual to unearth
diamonds at Kimberly, South Africa, is
quite poor, and obliged to work for his
living. He was for many years trader
with the natives, and doing we'll, but the
rush to the fields, he says, "ruined him. !"
Since diamonds were discovered in South
Africa, over S100, 100000 are said to
have been exported. York Obssr-
rer
Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1890-07-25
NIPPED IN THE BUD.

A railway passenger, by way of killing
time, tries to enter into conversation with
another gentleman who has got into the
same compartment.
81 have an idea, sir, that your name is
quite familiar, Mr.-Mr.-"
"My name is Ulbozokoriky Kolozohi-
koff; I came from Poland"
''Ah! then it is not your name, but
your face that seem to remember"
"Very possibly; l spent the last fifteen
years in prison, and only came out this
morning."
At this point the conversation dropped.
lie Figaro.
Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1890-07-25
ArrArNED HIS AMBITION,

congratulate me, Amelia. have at
last attained the summit of my ambitions.
hold the fate of men in my hands even
unto matters of life and death, and"
"Oh, George, you have been elected
Judge2"
"No; but what is of more Importance,
I have been appointed "a baseball um-
pire. ."-PhiladeLphia Times.
Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1890-07-25
THE MERRY SIDE OF LIFE.
STORIES THAT ARE TOLD By THE
FUNNY MEN oB THE PRESS.

The Maiden's Prayer-A Natural In
quiry-An Opportunity--Too Short
60 Seize, ETC., Etc.
care not for the laurel crown
That fadeth at a breath:
Give to me one of less renown-
An Grange blossom wreath
-Netu York Herald
Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1890-07-25
COURTESY IN EXTREMIs.

In the year 1900.
Executioner (politely showing the con-
demned man the electric chair in which
he, is about to expiate his crimes)-"Be
seated, sir, if you please"
The condemned "a well-bred person)
-"After you, sir. Paris Figaro.
Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1890-07-25
LET OUT A REEF.

"By John Henderson, you are getting
tremendously stout"
eyes. I'm thinking of making cor
poration of myself"
"Good idea; you've started we'll. You
must have let out that stitch in your side
you complained of the other day."
Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1890-07-25
BETTER THAN MEDICINE.

Mrs. Robinson-"Do you still have
DR.. s., dear?"
Mrs. Stokes-"Oh, yes; couldn't ex-
ist day without him."
Mrs. Robinson-"He doesn't seem to
cure yous"
Mrs. Stokes-ssNo; but just think of
the social advantage of having that grand
carriage standing in front of the door for
half-an-hour every day. - Chatter.
Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1890-07-25
DUx FEMINA.

Ethel Reddy-"Mamma, won't you
please ask DR.. Doce to look at my little
sick ducklingss"
Mrs. Reddy-"No. no; run awayl
DR.. Doce isn't bird doctor.
Ethel Reddy-"Well, papa said last
night he was quack doctor. ."-Puck.
Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1890-07-25
A HINT.

He-"Smart as you think me, here I
am literally and metaphorically at your
feet"
She longing for an osculatory evil
dence of affection) eyes, but you ought
to be smart enought to go up head
Munsey's Weekly.
Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1890-07-25
A LONG SERMON.

Holworthy (entering late)-"How long
has DR.. Vox been preaching9"
Sexton-"Twenty-two years, sir"
Holworthy-'T guess l won't go in,
then. ."-Harvard Ldmpooa.
Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1890-07-25
HIGH PRAIsE-FRoM HIMSELF.

She-''Queer that so handsome man
as Byron should have also been SO tai
ented."
He-"Oh, MSS Nixon; surely you don't
deny that brains and great beauty often
go together. Pm far from fool, as
sure you. Chatter.
Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1890-07-25

Miss Fannie-s'I gave myself away,
last evening"
Miss Jennie-ssWhati Didn't giving
yourself away make you feel cheapa"
Miss Fannie-ssYes, but he called me
sdear. ~ Wcst Shore.
Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1890-07-25
A NATURAL INQUIRY.

Miss Biggun-"Come, Willie, it's
time little people were in bed"
Willie-"What's the matter with Mr..
Mite going, tooa''-Puck.
Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1890-07-25
THE FAMILY WAS ALL RIGHT.

Mr.. Norman Attic-"Y'now we're
quite the people, down in Baltimore.
Now, how would you like to marry into
our family, Miss Prettyport"
Miss P-"Oh, should be delighted,
Mr.. Attic, if you had an available grand
son. - Chatter.
Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1890-07-25
A MAN OF HIS WORD.

Wilsor-"Philson is a man who keeps
his word, whatever else may be said of
him."
Bilson-"Do you find him soa"
Wilson-"Yes; he borrowed five dol
lars from me year ago, and he said he'd
never forget my kindness.
Bilson-"And he hasn't2"
Wilson-"No; every time he wants to
borrow money he comes to me. ."-Bazar.
Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1890-07-25
ACCOMMODATING.

evil you give me some small change
for these notesa" asked the organ grinder.
Certainly" replied the pedestrian,
and then he passed the notes as quickly
as possible. Detroit Free Press.
Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1890-07-25
AN OPPORTUNITY.

He Ito heiress)-"They tell me your
father has large heart?"
She-"Yes, he has the heart disease. !"
He-'I love you. "-Kunsey's Weekly.
Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1890-07-25
ONE SECRET SHE KEPT.

Grumpy-''Pshaw women can never
keep secret!"
Mrs. Grumpy-"Can't eha Perhaps 1
haven't guarded the secret that the we'd
ding ring you gave me was plated. -
Laurence american.
Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1890-07-25

1t cost the cigarette men $500, 600 last
year to supply the packages with pictures,
and all have now combined to do away
with them.
Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1890-07-25
EVER THUS.

"How does your husband spend his
time evenings7"
'sHe stays at home and thinks up
schemes to make money"
sAnd what do you do with yourself
when he is thus occupieda"
"Oh, think up schemes to spend it. !"
Epoch.
Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1890-07-25
BOARDING HOUSE REpARTEE.

"This egg, madame" said the profess
sor, with asperity, lis not fresh"
"Sir," said the landlady, graciously,
sis was laid just one week after you made
your last payment. ."-Bazar.
Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1890-07-25
DEAR AT ANY PRICE.

Miss Fannie-.'Miss Jennie, il you'll
not breathe it, I'll tell you something"
Miss Jennie-"l PROMISE"
Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1890-07-25
INSULATION PERFECT.

Smith Gn a terrific storm of thunder
and Neutrality-suspicious., this is getting
dangerous. Have you any metal about
your clothes2"
Jones always impecunious)-"Not
dime. - Chicago Times.
Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1890-07-25
TOO SHORT TO SEIZE.

Mrs. Cumso-"John dear, 1 wish you
wouldn't get your hair cut as short as
that"
Cumso-"Why9"
Mrs. Cumso-''It looks like refec-
tion on my amiability. Life.
Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1890-07-25
MUSICAL ITEM.

He (enthusiastically)-"If I could al
ways hold those little hands in mine"
She-"Hhat good would that do
youa"
He-''Then you couldn't pound that
piano any more. ."-7'eras Sytings.
Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1890-07-25
you CAN TELL THE CLOTHES, THOUGH.

YOU CAN TELL THE CLOTHES, THOUGH.
Anxious Escaped Prisoner-''We must
get these stripes off, or we'll be caught,
sure"
Philosophical Ditto Ditto-"No, we
won't. You can't tell man by his
clothes. "-Puck.
Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1890-07-25

s. K. Coburn, Mgr, Claire Scott, writes: II
find Halls Catarrh Cure a valuable remedy
Druggists sell it 75c,
Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1890-07-25

Sir Nope,s Free, will be sent by Cragin e Co.,
Phila., Pa to any one in U. s. or Canada, post
age paid, upon receipt of 25 Dobbins's Electric
Soap wrappers See list of novels on circulars
around each bar. Soap for sale by all grocers-
Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1890-07-25

PHILADELPHIA glazed kid is crowding the
French article out of the American market.
Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1890-07-25
Children Enjoy

BALTIMORE, Nd, is to have seven-milt
cable road to cost s., 100000.
Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1890-07-25

4 marriage license is good until used.
Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1890-07-25

Children Enjoy
The pleasant flavor, gentle action and soothing
effects of Syrup of Figs, when in need of q lax
ative and IL the father or mother be costive or
bilious the most gratifying results follow its
use, so that 1t is the best family remedy known
and every family should have a bottle.
Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1890-07-25

FITS stopped free by DIR. KLINEs GREAT
NERVE REsToRER. No Fits after first days
use. Marvellous cures. Treatise and So trial
bottle Free Dr. Kline, 93l Arch st. Phila., Pa.
naacha "a pills cura Sick -Headoche
Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1890-07-25

The MERRY SIDE OF LIFE
STORIES THAT ARE TOLD By THf
FUNNY MEN oB THE PRESS.
The Maiden's Prayer-A Natural In
quiry--An Opportunity--Too Short
TO Seize, Etc, Etc.
! care not for the laurel crown
That fadeth at breath;
Give to me one of less renown-
An Grange blossom wreath.
-Net0 York Herald.
A NATURAL INQUIRY.
Miss Biggun-'tCome, Willie, it's
time little people were in bed"
Willie-"What's the matter with Mr..
Mite going, tooa"-Puck.
AN OPPORTUNITY.
He Ito heiress)-s'They tell me your
father has large heart9"
She-'tYes, he has the heart disease. "
He-"T love you. y Kansey's Weekly.
A LONG SERMON.
Holworthy (entering late)-"How long
has DIR. Vox been preaching9"
Sexton.-"Twenty-two years, sir"
Holworthy-'T guess won't go in,
then HARVARD Ldr,1oou
BOARDING HOUSE REPARTEE.
"This egg, madame" said the profess
sor, with asperity, lis not fresh"
"Sir," said the landlady, graciously,
sis was laid just one week after you made
your last payment. ."-Bazar.
ACCOMMODATING.
evil you give me some small change
for these notesa" asked the organ grinder.
"Certainly," replied the pedestrian,
and then he passed the notes as quickly
as possible Detroit Free Press.
ONE SECRET SHE KEPT.
Grumpy-"Pshaw! women can never
keep secret!"
Mrs. Grumpy-"Can't eh? Perhaps
ding ring you gave me was plated. -
Laurence american.
you CAN TELL THE CLOTHES, THOUGH.
Anxious Escaped Prisoner-''We must
get these stripes off, or we1l be caught,
sure"
Philosophical Ditto Ditto-"No, we
won't. You can't tell man by his
clothes. ."-Puck.
He--"Smart as you think me, here I
am literally and metaphorically at your
feet"
She longing for an osculatory evil
dence of affection) eyes, but you ought
to be smart enought to go up head
Nunsey's Weekly.
INSULATION PERFECT.
Smith (in terrific storm of thunder
and lightning) Jones, this is getting
dangerous. Have you any metal about
your clothes2"
Jones always impecunious)-"Not
dime. - Chicago Times.
TOO SHORT TO SEIZE.
Mrs. Cumso-tJohn, dear, wish you
wouldn't get your hair cut as short as
that"
Cumso-"Why2"
Mrs. Cumso-''It looks like refec-
tion on my amiability. Life.
MUSICAL ITEM.
He (enthusiastically)-"If could al
ways hold those little hands in mine"
She-''Hhat good would that do
you2"
He-"Then you couldn't pound that
piano any more. ."-Teras Sytings.
THE FAMILY WAS ALL RIGHT.
Mr.. Norman Attic-"Y'now we're
quite the people, down in Baltimore.
Now, how would you like to marry into
our family, Miss Prettyport?"
Miss P-"Oh, should be delighted,
Mr.. Attic, if you had an available grand
son. p Chatter.
HIGH PRAIsE-FRoM HIMSELF.
She-"Queer that so handsome a man
as Byron should have also been SO tai
ented."
He-"Oh, Mss Nixon; surely you don't
deny that brains and great beauty often
go together. I'm far from fool, as
sure you. ."-Chatter.
LET OUT REEF.
''By John Henderson, you are getting
tremendously stout"
eyes. I'm thinking of making cor
poration of myself"
"Good idea; you've started we'll. You
must have let out that stitch in your side