The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-06-22
BRIGHT BITS.

Ice is cold, but local prices for it are red hot.
Los angeles Tribune.
The sphere of the sewing girl is not con-
tracted; it is often hemmy- sphere. Yonkers
Gazette.
PEOPLE who wait for what is offered generally
have long spells between meals.-MiltUGlLkee
Journal
WERE you ever Kissed off the stage?" asked
the American manager of the English actor
Never, but I've often been Kissed while on
1t. '-DrGmGttc Mirror.
PAsroR-I can't understand why some mem
bers of my choir don't sing as we'll as others
Friend-It is strange. They all have the same
chants.-Detroit Free Press.
THE birth of baby at Wahoo with two faces
on opposite sides of It's head indicates that the
looking backward" business is being carried
to ridiculous extremes Fremont FldtL.
THE biggest chump in Missouri is the ST. Jo-
seph man who attempted to shoot his wife be-
cause she wouldn't speak to him. Some men
never know when they have snap. kansas
City Star
KEY IPsTEN-Fader, vot does this mean?
''Dere will be a needing of the Young Mems
Christian Association Sunday, D. W
Solomon Ipstein-D. V. means, key, dond
vorget.-L Laurence american.
NEPHEW with newspaper)-They'r having a
hard time trying to settle the Hungarian diet
question.
Aunt-why don't they give them just plain
pork and beans?-Boston Herald.
WHAT is this spontaneous combustion, any
how?''
Its fire that lights ITSELF
by George! that's just the thing. I'll lay in
stock of 'em for the furnace next winter
Pttcs.
JUDGE-You are convicted of stealing stone.
l shall give you years Imprisonment. What
have you to offer?
Prisoner-Begogs. it's too much, yer amer.
The shtone | took was freestone.-LoUeH
Citizen.
NEVER waste time telling people what lot of
good things you have done. In the first place,
they won't believe you, and in the second place.
they are waiting for a chance to tell you what a
lot of good things they have done themselves
SomerUitLe journal.
FArHER-Clara what's the name of that
young man who called on you last night?
Clara call him Bill. You don't object be-
cause we burn little gas do you, papa?
Father-O, no; if he comes again I'll foot the
Bill.-Boston Herald.
THEY were dancing waltz together and he
did not dare propose openly. II am not hard
to satisfy, he returned in answer to some re-
mark of hers. Il do not want the earth"
swinging her energeticaly, "but would like to
have the whirled. '-f'aitddetphtG Times.
FATHER-Clara what game was that you
were playing when l looked in the parlor last
night?
Clara-Hide and seek.
Father-What was the kissing for?
Clara--O, that was the duty on the hides
Boston Herald.
YOUNG MOTHER, travelling with her infant
child, wrote the following letter to her husband
at home: I'VE are doing first rate and enjoying
ourselves very much. We are in excellent
health The baby can crawl about on all fourS
and drinks from a bottle all day long. Hoping
that the same can be said of you, l remain -
observation-disclosures.
JENN1E-How did you enjoy yourself at the
theater last night?
Mame--O. immensely!
Jennie-What was the play?
Mame-I declare don't know. Let me see
i think have got programme in my other
dress pocket.
Jennie-It does not matter; but 1 think it
strange that you should go to a theater and not
know what the play was.
Mamie-Why, bless you dear, 1 was with a
theater party.-B0Ston Courier.