Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1890-07-10
LIoHr MOODS.
BAD Chloroform.

CALLED to order-The bartender.
The most successful of all spoilers
Flies.
WNKING at sin-Lowering the eye
lid at the druggist.
The student who cannot pass an
examination frequently experiences
greater difficulty in passing a saloon.
DoN'r be clam If you've got to
be anything of tho kind, be mud tur-
tie. Then you may have some snap to
you.
WE have it on reliable authority that
good deal OF the time spent by young
ladies and gentlemen in par!ors goes to
waist.
BosToN HoUsEEEEPER-Is not this
lump of ice rather diminutive? Polite
Iceman You should remember,
madam, that cold contracts.
Il THINK i know now" said the man
VINO mad taken tho twenty cent piece
10. twenty five, "w hat is meant by the
expression contracts quarters
RIPLEY How Shorts laughed at
Fogg's story while ago. l didn't
think it very funny. Wilks-I didn't;
bu, Shorts had just before borrowed
five dollars from Fogg.
Mr.. JAsON-I saw something to-day
that would make a mans hair stand on
end. Mrs. Jason - Gracious What
was it? Mr.. Jason-A bottle of mu-
cilage.
"IT's enough to kind of sour man
on human nature" said the tramp,
"when you stop to consider how often
you're called lazy because you won't do
a 75-cent Job at sawin' wood for 10
cent breakfast"
FIRST PoET-I am going to get even
with the editor of the Nogood MGgd-
zine. Second Poet - How? First
Poet-I've sent him poem, and I've
poisoned the mucilage on the return
envelope.
FIRST TRAMP (pointing to q scare
crow in O cornfeld) d)-Look Lookee
there! Second Tramp My Myl We
must git out o. this, double quick.
They've caught one of us fellers and
nailed him to pole.
TRAMP Beg pardon, sir; can you
'elp pore man? I've lost my voice,
and now I'm out o. work! Old gentle
man-Out of work because you lost
your voice. Are you a vocalist9 Tramp
No, sir; l sells fish
"OH, children You are so noisy to-
day. Can't you be little stiller and
better?" "Now, grandma, you must
be a little considerate and not scold us.
You see, if 1t wasn't for us you
wouldn't be grandma at all"
WILL-They say the Fast Street
Museum has become notoriously bad
place of late Bill-So it has. l
wouldn't want any decent person to
.lbSsyybd aEa"I 'dr6p'In there Tonight,
just 10 look around.
PATR;CK-Yez needn't talk t tn
loiks o me abooty'r Darwin. Olive got
an argument phich downs i'm. "Mon
Is the only animal that kin talk"
Scientist-Listen TO those Italians over
there. Patrick they're chatterin'
loike apack o monkeys.
"WELL, my dear, are you quite sure
that the new pay we are going TO see
tc night Is quite proporP" entirely
go, my darling, but why do you ask"
Because if have TO blush much had
better wear my scarlet corsage; it
would make prettier effect"
HTS USUAL STYLE.
~Is there man I'm this church to-day
Who'll come and give me his handj'
Tho pre1chCr said, "and 60 our way
On the trip to the Promised BandY
~There Is I" ID the editor, near the door,
While his face with rapture glowod;
And tho minister said as he eyed him o'er:
-Freo PASS on the Heavenly roadl"
--AtldRta Constitution
MISS ANTIQUE (taking politely
pIuffered seat In crowded street-car)
Thank you, my little man. You
have been taught to be polite / am
glad to see. Did your mother tell you
to always give up your seat to ladies I?
Little Boy-No'm, not all ladies, only
old ladies.
A HARLEM minister, while marrying
couple recently, Is reported to have
been rather disconnected on asking the
bridegroom if he was willing to take
the young lady for his welded wife,
by his scratching his head and saying
"Yes, I'm willing; but I'd o much
ol~lt ,otbor 1avo bar cfstar