Morning journal and courier., 1890-07-14
EARLY.

1.-The early bird catches the worm, but it Is the late Clark" that brings on the s'snakes. !" -Yonkers Statesman.
 She-And now, George, shall sing you 6 piecei He-Yss, plesse-not the whole Burlington Free Press.
 Billings-Are you going to take a vacation this summeri Smedgely-M my health per- mits. -Clothier and Furnisher.
 Tolstoi says marriage is sin. Lst this idea generally obtain, and we expect to see tre- msudous boom in the matrimonial market Boston Transcript.
 Man. irreverant, trihing man, should ab. stain from sneers at woman kind till he has learned to hold plate of ice cream on his lap without toeing in.-Elmira Gazstte.
 The London Standard, reporting the mur- der of maa near Listoxel, announces that "he lived long enough after death to accuse 6 man named Griffin of having wounded him."
 minute menf" inquired the small boy who was reading history. "Ours," Quoth papa, deep in his paper and the small boy laughed. New York Herald.
 Butcher-Good morning. madam. Youns housekeeper-Good morning, Mr. Gristle, would like to get about five pounds of young and tender sausage meat, please, without any bone.-Texas Siftings.
 Mistress (recently ''elsvstedn)-Oh, Marie Maid-Yes, ms'am. Mistress-Don't forge to order in some pink afternoon tea from th, grocer's. hear it's all the rage in high so ciety.-American Grocer.
 He (sbout to go)-0ne more, dsares,l Sh, (with dreamy abstraction)-Onem more what Georgei (Rousing herself) Did kiss you Georgsi IT must have been thinking o Harry i-Chicago Tribune. A doctor writes to this paper to warn per sons against drinking whisky in this ho weather, as 1t only makes them warmer. Thi. recalls the answer of thinker to that sam' | advice. "Whsr I get full of hquor," h. | said, "I don't care continental how hot | am."-Milwaukee Sentinel. Bouuder-"Anythiug gone wroHg in you | familyl When I met your youngest boy jus now he was crying ss though hls heart woul' break" Rounder-"Gone wroDgi We'll, | should ejacula,e if things hsyeh't been goin i just right, with big RI I told the kid tha I'd climb all over him the next time I hear him talking slang. Ssef-Tsxas Siftings. | References Rsquired.-Mr. Hightone-M dear, you must send that new girl away 6 once. She is not it to have around.
 Mrs. Hightone-I will, just as quick as | can write her a reference.
 "References Do you mean to say you ir tend to give a creature like tha. referencel
 "Of course. How can I help iti If
 don't she will tell everybody about the COT
 dition you came home in the other nigh
 md the-wsy I talked to you."-Goo News.
 A Windsor Locks little girl, just ol
 enough to enter the infant class at the Sur
 day school, was ambitions to repeat text
 Scripture as the older ones did at the ool
 cert exercises. To humor her ambition an
 make it reasonably certain that she woul
 succeed, the mother selected the brief tex
 "It is lawful to do good on the Sabbath day
 and taught her until she rehearssd it sever
 times correctly. When the supreme mi
 mens arrived, however, the little orator ele trified her audience and mortified her moth with the proposition that "It Is awful to good on the Sabbath dsy."-Hartford Post