The intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1887-1891, 1890-10-04
PARAGRAPHS.

Some young men live so fast that
watches left to them by their parents
lose a couple OF hours a day.
When a girl elopes with her coach
man, some other man Is saved from
getting a mighty poor wife.-Buffalo
Express.
-'The rich Count Won Altburg is to
be married." ITO an American grip"
What a foolish question? Didn't l say
the rich count?"- Society.
The best cure for obesity is to board
for the summer at a farm house where
you will be treated like one OF the
family.-Boston Gazette.
Spiritual Indigestion darlington
Il wonder what can have made our
friend Anderson such a pessimist?"
Runk-"He's had too much Of the good
things Of life."-Puck.
First S~enator-'I have a scheme to
which / wish to give the widest pub
iicity. What do you suggest as the best
methods" Second Senator-''Discuss it
in secret session, of course Racket.
Probably tho iceman has never
noticed the dainty little tin tongs that
are furnished with boxes OF confection-
cry. They are neat, inexpensive, and
would be quite useful in his business
Washington Post.
-Helen7 p. M "Jack will get his
walking ticket when he calls tonight.
I'll tell him l don't care any thing for
him." Helen g p. M - Oh dearl Isn't
he coming tonight? ! hope he didn't
take that little quarrel OF Wednesday
aarinnalu - pnutnn Ha,.IJ
There is a man." said De Kique, in
the hotel corridor, "who has lone more
toward the publication of American pol
itics than anybody else / know of"
"How?" ''He retired to private life."-
Washington Post.
Thompson -"You look pale and
thin, Johnson. Why will you persist in
killing yourself working night and day
such weather as this?" Johnson 80
am trying to earn money enough to pay
the expenses of a weeks rest in the
country."-N. Y. Weekly.
A st. Petersburg doctor Is stopped
late at night by a policeman, who asks
why he is out so late. ITO attend Mr..
Popoff, who was taken suddenly ILL
did he have a permit to be taken sud
denly ill?" mo" "Then you will
have to go to prison." Detroit Free
Press.
-Cholly -"I cawn't imagine what
you are going out in the country for,
Miss Dashing. You are such q favorite
with the men / should think you would
liz to be where we are" Miss Dashing
THAT'S the very reason I'm going to
| tho nnntpu- IN ann SC I .nnst H-l ,~.I
man somewhere. "-Munsey's Weekly.
Fortune Is as blind as any bat;
Your own affairs give proof of that;
And sometimes needs adjusting.
III things were right" you sadly sing,
I'D be a president, IA king,
A millionaire or some such thing"
You're right-it is disgusting.
N. Y. Press.
-"The vile. abominable literature
that Is p%olluting the minds Of our bows
and girls, wrote tho editor, sis a pub
lie disgrace and by the way, Judkin,
son," said he, stopping short in his able
editorial and turning to tho local editor.
be sure you hav tho full particulars
OF that divorce scandal in East Bicycles
ton; the Evening Whangdoodle mustn't
get the bulge on us this time. Let me
see; where was |? o, yes-public dis.
grace and should be suppressed by the
strong arm OF the law. Many a youth
owes his downfall to the-be sure YOU
interview both parties, hutchinson, and
make 1t spicy you know."-Nationa
Publisher and Printer.
Parrot - "Hellol what do YOU
wantT" Bill Noggln taken aback)-
Beg pardon, sir-thought you was q
bird. Judy.