Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-01-17
HUMOR.
TOUCH of nature-A kiss.

A.ToUCH of nature-A kiss.
The suffering man often breaks his
word.
FAvoR1TE song of the milkmans
SShall We Gather at the River"
One thing you don't need to lock up
for fear Of losin' is bad reputation.
"WHAT is your favorite color, Miss
Mabel?" "a nice cream" He took the
hint.
In chasing COW q bicycle is prefer
able to o horse-Its easier to get q
header.
MISERY may love company, but the
company doesn't generally return the
compliment.
WHAT is it that most lacks self re-
pect? The watch, because it is always
trying to run itself down.
"THE tight coat-sleeve is now thing
of the past" says fashion item; but
girls who are pretty oil know better.
"YoU seem at home here" remarked
man at the postoffice to the postmaster
eyes," replied the latter, "this is my
stamping ground"
MoTHER-There. John, shafts twice
you've come home and forgotten the
lard. Sonia! mother, it was SO
greasy it slipped my mind.
YOU'VE De Strap is in despair.
His wife hes presented him with twins
well. what is he kicking about? She
did it because she had two."
He Gate at supper)- II should have
been here sooner, but have been
watching the boys playing on the green,
she-What color did you play on.
Mr.. ZERo-What was that sigh for.
my dear? Mrs. Zero-Nothing. Mr..
Zero-I didn't know but what twas me-
as usual. Mrs. Zero-K was-a cipher
is usually nothing. ls..
Boss BARBER entering late and wish
ing to give the shop busy air)-Has
the mayor been in this morning? APP
prentice-Yes, sir. He came in and
took his cup away.
CusroMER-I say, Mr.. Shortweight,
that cheese is full of holes Short
weight-Yes; that's the way it comes.
Customer Well, I. don't want to pay.
for half pound of holes.
MAN at telephone Crying to find ont
who has rung the oall)-Hello, there's
are you thirty-seyen? Young lady at
the other end Indignantly NO, yon
horrid thing. I'm only seventeen.
Her test.-Wife Cat front door,
Who's there? Voice. John
your husband. Wife, don't believe
you. It don't sound like Johns voice.
Blow your breath through the key hole.
| PoET-Can you tell me the cause Of
these pains I have in the legs? Doctor
May Task where you live? Poet-1n
an attic room. sir. Doctor-Then tho
pains are room attic. Five dollars,
please.
A. Gro his friend, the famous painter
of battle scenes, who covers up with
smoke all things that he does not know
how to paint And what are you going
to do when they use the smokelesa
powder? 4
FATHER to the man.-Fond parent
No, darling--Bobby is getting BETTER
What should You have done if he had
died? Darling latter pause)-I
should have had his Ncahs ark
shouldn't /?
Cor his wish.-Mrs. N Peck-I ran
across one of your letters to-day,
Nathan, where you said you would
rather be in endless torment with me-
than be in bliss by yourself aIr. NJ
Peck-Well, I guess got my wish. j;
"LEr me look at your winter UNDER
wear, please" said the young lady, AZ
she stood at the corner of the dry goods
store. Excuse me, madam" answered
the obliging clerk, us he shivered I'M
consciously; "but I am still wearing
my summer garments.
Mrs. NEwLYwED-Oh, Charlie, dearI
I've got such nice piece of news to tell
you! Mr.. Newlywed-Indeed! What
is it, love! Mrs. Why,
William tells me that our place is just
overrun with nlilkweed. Won't thai be
splendid for the new COW?
INFANTILE PROTECTORS.
Writing of the risks of travel in the
out-of-the-way parts of China, Mr.. Col
quhoun expresses his opinion as to the
best protection from robbery and
personal violence, to which the traveller