The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-12-22
Tariff Of Matrimonial Tolls.

OF Floyd county DachelorS between Il a1u
SO years of age are to be taxed $25 year
those between SO and 40 years, $50; from Al
to 40 years, SO; from 46 to 80 years. 500;
from 81 to 81 years, SIPS; from IS to 80
years, $50; and over 60 years. 5000 That
makes the toll pretty heavy on the old
boys.
All this the Roman tribune proposes 70 do
under the plausible pretext of fostering
what he calls ''branch colleges" in which it
TO be hoped and reasonably presumed
that the adolescent youth of Georgia would
very soon learn better reasoning and de-
velop better Judgment than 20 suggest idle
and unconstitutional, not to say ridicu-
ously unwise legislation.
Though it is difficult TO regard such an
unique proposition as altogether serious, for
the purpose of an illustration of its effects
it may be momentarily so considered. Con-
ceive for the nonce, if you can, such an
enactment operative. How is the tax gath
erer to enforce collection of such a claim
against en- impecunious young manor old
one. either. for that matters Then examine
the case of a toiling youth who has very
hard struggle, under the most favorable
conditions.to support an inv aid mother and
possibly several helpless brothers and sisters.
Wouldn't it bear down rather hard on hims
Even though he chances to be a man of
mature years there is but little difference
Possibly he is a cripple. and finds life some
thing of a burden aside from the struggle
for existence. Many other instances of
similar hardship IN manifold varied forms
are Immediately suggested by so utterly
absurd q proposition. But the foregoing
shall suffice.
Exemptions that might be incorporated
into the act would only serve as loopholes for
the general evasion of its provisions. Pen
alties devised TO enforce it would wholly
fail TO reach the very class that the some-
what leaky astuteness of the noble Roman
probably had in contemplation
Why, brisk young man of any resources
at all could get out of the state for less
money than the sheriff would call for. Old
men could go to Europe on the taxes
they owed. Under those conditions
such spontaneous exodus of the
flower Of our youth and the
stars of our intellectual promise would
simultaneously start for other lands afar,
my countryman, as never hath the great
state of Georgia seen before in the annals of
her imperishable history. Shattered femi-
strew the land to the remotest limits thereof.
Walls of anguish would rend the atmos-
phere and comfort would be mighty scarce.
About this time Scion Seay had better
bolt for the tropic of Capricorn, or he
wouldn't have hair left on his head. If
his caDilaries are not very thick and firmly
fixed he had better start now.
With such a law in force a nine-dollars-
a-week young man couldn't raise the funds
to buy his best girl Christmas present in
order TO facilitate the connubial campaign
in compliance with the mandate of the law,
no matter how hard he might hustle to
hurry it along. Aside from that, where is
his small start in life to come froml Such
an impossible pecuniary problem might
well drive him to drink or suicide, or both,
Why, it would be money in his pocket to
jump off the dock or eat homemade
mince pie. Funerals don't come very high.
One could have quite a comfortable funeral
out of his toll tariff and save money
JulS OdJO mas lInDlOSQ
the simple faith in Providence and gov
eminent appropriation that must have in
spired a sweet pastoral poetess, whose simple
song merged into silence long e'er the times
changed to the hard practical selhshness
that characterizes this age of rapid
progress. Listen TO her tender memories:
He'd nothing but his violin:
I'd nothing but my song
But We were wed when skies were blue
And summer days were long;
And when We rested by the hedge
The robins came and told
How they had dared 10 WOO and win
When early spring was cold.
We sometimes supped on dewberries,
Or slept among the hay
But oft the farmers wives at eve
Came out to hear us play
The rare old tunes-the dear old tunes
We could not Starve for long
While my man had his violin
And my sweet love-song.
The world has aye gone well with u.s.
Old Man. since we were one! =
Our homeless wandering down the lanes
1t long ago was done.
But those who wait for gold or gear
For houses and for kline.
Till Youth 8 sweet spring Grows brown and Sere
And love and beauty tine,
Will never know the joys of hearts
That met without fear
When you had but your violin
And song, my dear.
Pathetically simple as that is it will inter-
est many but impress but few IN this selfish
age when a little income availeth more
than all the outcome that youth and genius
may hold in store. money talks more
than merit in matrimony.
Beside all this the proposed celibate pro-
scription would engender hypocrisy in tacit
compliance with the law as well as augment
matrimonial misery by actual conformity,
just as in the case of a Pennsylvania town
where unmarried men were always s.laid
off" in dull times They created a perfect
raging epidemic of matrimony in their
impetuous haste to marry just any one for
convenience and to retain their employ
ment and salaries, regardless of con-
sequences. So would hypocrisy here be
generated and fostered. Divorce courts
would then have to put on extra help and
work double time to keep up with the con
slant rush OF business
There are hundreds OF young men who
would be only too ''happy though married.
if they only had the money to support
wife. They well know that she would
''make trouble" for lack of it Possibly she
would not marry at all without tho cash