The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1890-04-26
SELLERS OF SHEET MUSIC.
Statesmen Who Have Many Petty Trials
and Diverting accidents.

The petty trials and tribulations of
the salesman who retails sheet music
behind counter are yexation To the
spirit aud WEAKNESS 10 the flesh.
The speaker. says the Boston Herald.
was well-known publisher OF music
and the senior partner ia West street
firm. II served tedious apprentice
ship to that sort of thing myself he
continued. land so ! know whereof |
speak. II is notorious that the musi-
cal world Is peopled perhaps more
largely than any other profession with
cranks. | suppose that when man is
thoroughly absorbed in the theory and
practice of harmony he is prone TO be
Jared BY the discords of everyday life
and is disagreeably conscious of being
out of tune with the universe. But.
however we account for il. the fact re-
mains that music-buyers are. as class,
the most exciting aud techy of custom
ers. Half the time they haven't the
faintest idea as To what they want. and
they will frequently own to this frank
ly. relying on the clerk To make selec-
tions for them.
But the life of a music clerk has its
compensations. The grotesque and
picturesque incidents that come under
his eyes are numberless. You see that
pale young man with the saffron
whiskers over there. Well. only yes
terday beautiful. languorous-eyed
young lady tripped in here, and glid-
ing 10 the counter in front of that
guleless youth lisped dreadfully; will
yon give me your hand in miner The
clerk happened to be as bashful as he
looks and he was taken completely
aback. He flushed vivid scarlet,
stammered Why certainly made as
if to extend his hand and then. be-
thinking himself IN time. climbed to
yonder shelf aud brought down the
song Your Hand In Mine. for which
the artless damsel had inquired In such
Il bewidering fashion. Aud the young
lady. who was evidently not without a
sense OF the humor of the situation.
dropped her languorous eyes and
smiled screncly.
The man who gives the most trou-
BILE Is. perhaps. the funniest of all the
bores that drift into the music store.
He is the individual who wants the
music to an air which he does not
know by name. With the assurance
of Mozart he says 10 the tired clerk
who waits ON him: What | want goes
something like this: "Tra-la-la. tra-la-
lee, tra-la-loo." Don't you remember
il? OH YOU must know IL. Tra-la-la,
tra-la-lee. II you'll run over the names
OF songs that sound like that | may re-
call the title Tra-la-la. tra-la-la. ira
la-loo." There's only one thing TO do
with this particular crank. and that is
To tell him bluntly that YOU have no
ear for music and that consequently
YOU have no idea of the tune he is try
ing 10 hit. After that he is reasonably
sure to ease his diseordant trilling
aud take his leave.
"One day last week stalwart son
OF Erin came in. accompanied by n
bnXom young woman, whose brilliant
costume and aifectionate manner
stamped her as "A newly welded bride.
In a timid tone, enriched by delights
full brogue. the young woman asked.
one OF the clerks II he had the song
Let Me Fold Thee Close. Acushla.
1--WE have Let Me old Thee Close.
Mavoureen. replied the clerk.
Sure, it's all one. me boy broke
In the happy groom. 'Acushla or Ma
youreen. II comes TO the same thing.
"Thc smiling clerk busted himself
with wrapping up the music, while the
blue-eyed bride slyly whispered to her
spouse: 'Arrah. Teddy, be aisy now.
How cud yer expect the young gintle-
man to have any Gaelic
"All ia all, there are some very di-
verting incidents to be met with in an
establishment Of this sort. and YOU
might pick up a much worse place for
the study OF the funny side of human
nature.