Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1890-01-10
PHANTOM MUSIC.

In order fur tn tell this story as it had orter
be told l am obleeged to brag little and
mention, kinder promiskus like and not sot
up at all, because gifts is bestowed by Provi-
dence and we can't help haven 'em-that
am the musical genius of the family. 1t isn't
SO awful musical, when you come to inquire,
as you think by that remark Ma don't
know one tune from another, and pa can only
sing the "Doxology," long meter, and Cyan
kee Doodle" but sister Susan plays onto the
accordion, and brother Nappy he gets along
real good on the jew'sharp, and Tom kin
play little on a tin whistle, so that even be-
fore I took lessons it wasn't impossible for
our folks to give our evening company lit
tie concert But they mostly didn't stay
late, and pa he said he had kinder idea that
they didn't enjoy the music, though ma used
to say, anyway they'd feel we'd done all we
could to entertain en, and mortal couldn't
do more. Anyhow, the instruments I have
mentioned are kinder old fashioned, and
twas great improvement when I learned
the piano.
A lady teacher offered to teach me and
fetch down her piano fur her summer board,
and that is the way got my lessons. She
taught real good and real quick, said she
didn't see no need of no tiresome scales, and
gave me pieces as soon as I'd learned the
notes.
By the time she went home could play
fifteen different tunes, and pa he went
straight to town and bought me piano.
After that I played em to the company
whenever we had any. And it was mentioned
in The Smokehole Gazette how't sour es-
teemed citizen Selim Choppers youngest
daughter, Neptany, was ap actooal musical
prodigal"
Pa bought up half that weeks edition and
mailed it to friends. So, you see, Iwasq quite
ahead in my musical education before ever
met Mr.. Herman Vondervitch. He was a
boarder too, and he was a foreigner, and
didn't speak good English. He came to
board with us for the summer, and he chose
our house instead of the Peters because we
had piano.
81 also read in dot paper" said he, "dot
your loafy daughter is musical chenius."
'Wal," says pa, Eyes, sir, we SO consider
her."
IT am not chenius," says Mr. Wonder
witch. II play chust leetle, 'owever. It
will be a pleasure to be NIT some Won who is
musical"
''That's So" says pa, s'you can practice on,
to Neptanys palmer jest as much as you
i
and then if you can't catch tune"
And he seemed tickled to death, and came
down next Monday with stack Of music
books that filed up the whole corner of the
parlor, and a violin in case. Pa brought
him in to tea fust off, and says he:
''Folkses, this here is Mr.. Vondervitch I
don't deny he's Dutch, but he can't help that
We hewitt got no say in where we air born. :"
7 felt kinder glad that Mr.. Vondervitch
didn't appear to understand him, for the rest
of the boarders seemed to be keepin' their
selves from staggering. But they was all
very polite to Mr.. Vondervitch, and so was
ma; and after tea pa says:
'sNeptany, SEEM that Mr. Vondervitch is
fond of music, though he don't play good
himself, why don't you give us a songs"
ooh, pa" says I, ''Ive got a cold"
i'You hain't,' says pa.
.sWell," says I, ''I'll sing after Mr.. Wonder
witch sings himself"
$780," said Mr.. Vondervitch. "Oh, veil,
I am but an amateur, but you will pardon
me-"
Then he tried the piano.
sit is a leetle out of tune" said he.
SIS it?' said pa. eff them piano people
have sold me an instrument that amt in
tune I'll hev the law of them"
Seemed to me Mr.. Vonderyitch looked sort
of curious when he said that, but he logged
back his music book and opened it, and said
he:
II will not sing; will play some Chopin"
'Chop away" says pa.
I never heard the piece ne played before,
but some of the boarders clapped their hands
when he got through, so they must hev liked
it, guess; and then he played another piece
"Pretty good, young man, !" said pa, 'you'll
get the tune all right pretty soon. Now, Nep-
tany, give us suthin' cheerin'!'
I played one of my best pieces. 'Twasn't
very polite for the boarders to go out while I
was doing it; but Mr.. Vondervitch sat quite
still; and when got through he said:
each, der tuyfel!" which I supposed was
high praise in German. So T played him
some more. After I got through with iSweet
Vioets," he seemed to be crying, and it is a
real touching piece, I've often thought. Then
he sat down and played what considered his
scales for about an hour.
Ma didn't think that was polite-I didn't
either"
Pa, he asked him what it was, and he an
swered:
cit Is perhaps too classical for everybody. /"
ssWell,' says pa, eff that's what you've got
to do in your class, practysing is the way, I
expect. Know your lessons good and you'll
get on"
But ma and me we felt kind of huffy, and
after that we had enough of his scales, can
tell you. I got sick of them, for my part
He never played tune, and he and one of
the boarders used to talk about some Wag-
goner or other as if he had something to do
with it. AS for asking me to play-never!
But ma said we needn't mind that, for it was
all his jealousy, because could play pieces
and he could only do scales Musical people
are dreadful jealous. The worst quarrels we
ever had in Smokehole were between the
members of the church choir. I alluded it
to his Jealousy therefore, and didn't do all
the spiteful things you kin do to a boarder eff
you're mind to. Brother, he put tortoise
in his bed one night and a crab another, and
sister gave him sugar in his individual salt
cellar and salt in his coffee; but little jokes
like them amt anything-they cheer folks
up, specially when it rains and you have to
stay in on account of the skeeters. Now and
then they were real numerous at Smokehole,
and whatever happened Mr.. Vondervitch did
his scales and never said nothin'; and one day
felt glad that I'd been Christian like and
liberal minded to the poor jealous critter, fur
he went out fur tn battle one afternoon, and
when we rang the bell for tea he didn't come
There was our boat bobbin' about on the
water and his clothes in it.
''There amt no use a-talkin'," says pa,
she's got drownded."
And began to cry, and such of the board
ers as hadn't gone off they took on too.
''Such nice young mani" says one.
"Such musical geniusl" says another.
"Well," seq pa, mice is all very well, but
10 h. vic.
and twenty and hadn't come to tunes yet, be
he alive or be he dead That's gospel"
Well, we went to bed that night about as
low spirited as we could be- I had felt SO
hateful to Mr.. Vondervitoh that kinder felt
it wuz Judgment, and I wuz crying about
him again in the middle of the night, when
oil Of hoard tho croinoc The