The state herald., 1890-01-31
TALK oFrHE DAY,

The man who Is "alonc with his
thoughts often is surrounded by tho
deepest solitude.
'.See what got In my stocking"
said . Chicago girl as she pulled out .
piano from her hung-up hose.
Two OF the wealthiest men In tho
west are said to have been messenger
boys. 1t pays to go slow, after all.
Patti is grleved that Chicago did
not appreciate "Romeo and Juliet"
But then Patti did not sing Where
Did You Get That HatP"
Wc have Mt last solved tho mystery
why tailors put buttons on the cuiYs OF
coat sleeves. II is to tear out overcoat
Innings and get themselves job.
The foresighted maiden-Urgent
suitor--"With any kind Of manage
ment we could certainly keep alive on
$500 u year" She-''Yes, dear; but
l would sooner be comfortably dead"
The consistent minister will not
preach steadily for two hours upon
the iniquity OF lying, aud then bland
ly ask one OF the leading members OF
tho congregation how he liked the SER
mon.
Sympathetic bystunder- How bruis-
ed and tattered nnd Torn you are"
Bad boy-"Yep; / went out looking
for something" "What was it?" "A
fight"
Pittsburg newspaper. In its an
swers to correspondents says: "Anna
Dickinson WINS born In 1912" Then it
gallantiy adds: Ave do not know the
lady's age"
UnreasOnable--Little Mabel "Mam-
ma. may l have something to eatp"
Mother Qmpatiently)-"Yes; take this
piece of cake. and don't open your
mouth again!"
countryman who has been wear.
ing nn electric belt for liver complaint
found that 1t also affected his lungs,
SO that now ho has an electric liver
and electric lights.
AT the theatcr. Mrs. Van Jones'
George, think it is awful, your 20
ing out between acts" Mr.. Van Jones
Mot half so bad. DEAR us coming in
between drinks. ."-rime.
A candid girl Father" What was
John saying TO you last night, May,
that he stayed SO late?" Daughter
Nothing much; John isn't a great
talker He's I'LL business
Harry-"And, dearest. do you think
OF me all the day long?" Dearest
81 did. Harry; but the days are getting
longer now, and o. course-well, you
know that that must make some differ
ence."
''Patient-"That medicine you gave
me for my cold, doctor. cured mo en-
tirely." Doctor lin surprise) -"Did
it? Well, blamed II | don't believe
I'll try it myself. l can't get rid OF
mine"
Mrs. Fussy-"I wonder why DIR.
fourshly always has his sermons type
written Mr., Grump-"Out OF pure
gratitude; you don't know how that in
vcniion has doomed tho matri monial
Market
What he does-First boy-"So you
have got II situation?" Second boy
"fes, an good one" First boy
What do you do most OF the day?"
Second boy-"kecp out OF tho way Of
the boss"
Natures Freaks. Miss Clara Qook-
ing ut Mr.. Crowley o! Central Park)-
What u very droll little creature, and
SO ugly!" Young Mr.. Sissy-Ycs. Miss
Clara. we are fearfully and WONDER
fully made"
A ripe production Coming from the
theater-Wife-(to husband) Il en-
joyed the play ever so much. II is an
excellent piece OF dramatic worlt-a
ripe production. think" "Ycs, a
mellow drama"
The established rule First poet-'I
wrote Miss Starlight week ago and
sent her my love. don't SEQ why she
has not returned it, Second poet
(absent-mindedlyl Ibid you inclose
stamps for its return?r
Thought they were for him.-Bobby
saw his mother buy some wholcbones
in tho store. When he got out ho
said: Say. ma" "Well. Bobby.
what is lt!' II don't think thcm'll
hurt rs much as your slippers"
Briggs-"Young Smithers Is a
friend of yours. Is he not? Braggs-
"Oh. yes" Briggs Does he ever
recitc amy OF his poetry To youP"
Braggs -'Certalnly not Didn't
just say he was friend OF minc?'
A Doctrinnl Necessity Jones (who,
with Robinson has Just passed n
Quaker on the street, -"Roblnson do
you believe in the doctrine OF non-re-
sistance?" Robinson-"Yes. when the
other fellow Is bigger than l am"
As She is Spoke. e.-lic-"Now that
you have made mo the happiest OF
mortals, can kiss youp" She (I,oston)
Never having had any personal
experience OF your osculatory abilities,
Mr. Gesner, do not know II you can,
but you may"
Overheard In tho Kitchen. -"What
did you wear last night?" asked celery.
"a lovely mayonnaisc. replied the
lettuce. "And youpn II never was
so mortified In all my life; wasn't
dressed at ALL" said the celery, and
the beet blushcd.
II ever wo get tho South America
republics annexed. We can have
morning before breakfast This might
break up the old. soldier monopoly. but
II would give tho monthly magazine
industry great boom.
Tho Usual Conditions: Mamma-
bobby. ! noticed that your little ois-
Ter took the smaller apple. Did you
lot her have her choice. MS | TOLD you
TOP" Bobby-''Yes, told hor she
could have tho llttlo one or none. aad
sho chose tho little one"
A rural debating society has up for
discussion. (which Ii tho more happy
the boy with his first pair OF trow-
scrs or tho girl with her first lovo
le ,tcrP" Tho girl. OF course. Tho boy
do osn't imprint dozen burning kisses
on his first pair OF trousers.
You shouldn't have taken No for
nm answer no readily. Charlie" said
his more experienced friend; don't
you understand that n glrl's No often
means 'Ycs9'" "Sho didn't say No.
jack" responded Charlie. uttorly
without hopci she said Nav