The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-12-29


mlschievous wretches sat behind the coun-
try lad while he was saying his lesson, and
STUCK pins in him. The good teacher, with
MID voice aud pleasant c0untepance, asked
who, sonny, is your CreaiorF'
Just at that time the boys popped pin in
the lad He bounced upon the bench, ex-
claiming, "aod A-l-mightyn
That's correct" said the teacher mildly,
but not so much vehemence next time.n
Now, who died to save the worlds" The
boys sent another pin home in the lad. He
bounced upon the bench with a wry face
exclaiming, Jesus Christi"
That is very good,n replied the teacher,
"out DO not answer so furiously, as il you
were mad.n
Now, what will be the punishment of the
wicked IN the next gorldm The bows stuck
two pins in the lad, and he sprang into the
air with frown upon his face and tears in
his eyes, CRYING. "H-e-l-l fire and damnation
-" and shot out of the house for home.
FARMER MAUND's sCRAPE.
Farmer John Maund Of Talbot county.
the BEST known man III his section, and do
cldedly the most original and witty, has an
endless fund or stories, which he tells. A
good feature in them is that they are all on
himself Once during the war, he came
nome on furlough where he was constantly
hiding out, he said, to keep the yankees Off
tho Ahy ho uAN III u aliiP
near his house and his meals were sent TO
MIN by a servant. Fearing that the servant
might be watched and followed, he
made MN take circuitous route
through the swamp, and Mr.. Maund stood
near The path aftor the servant had gone
along, 10 see that nobody followed. One
day a1 dinner, the servant having taken the
route, and Mr.. Maund was sitting down to
MS dinner in the swamp, he heard dogs
barking They got nearer and nearer, and
seemed to be coming toward him. He told
the servant that the yankees were after
them with hounds, and he made the negro
run In one direction, and Maund started off
In another. He ran pretty we'll In the out
set, hoping that the dogs would take the
servants track, but he had no such good
luck. After running hard two miles, he
stopped and listened. The dogs were coming
fast on his track. He stopped down
and pulled off his shoes and started Off
again. de ran with good speed two more
miles, and the dogs were right behind him.
lie pulled off his coat aud struck out afresh.
Ills wind was gone, though, and he realized
that it was time to practice strategy If no
valued his life. He ran to a millpond and
laying aside his clothes he jumped in and
swan for dear life. The dogs came yelping
over the hill, and he heard them no more
when they got to the pond. He imagined
that they had plunged into the water
and were overtaking him. He realized that
ne would meet watery grave IL they got
hold of him in the water, and he ''padiled
and kicked" with all his might to beat them
to the other side. As he pulled up on the
bank, exhausted nearly, expecting the dogs
to pounce upon him and eat him alive, he
looked across the pond and saw four of his
own hound puppies frolicking and playing
with his clothes
HAD TO WINK HIS EYE.
On an other occasion he was at a depot
where gentleman was waiting to see his
wife off on the train. The woman was
beautiful and Maund said he could not keep
his eyes Off of her. Once when she looked
at him, he unconsciously winked. The
moment he did so, she turned to her
husband and said: THAT man has winked
at me and want you TO protect me-" The
man, Maund said, stepped up to
him and demanded of him to know
what he meant by such insulting
demeanor. Maund saw he would
have TO fight or invent some way of getting
out Of it, and he began to wink his eyes as
fast as he could. Said he, my friend, IL |
have insulted your wife, have done so un-
Intentionally. You see one Of my eyes is
affected, and have no control
over 1t. / am not responsible for my de-
formities. God madeline, my friend, just as
am"
The man turned and walked away. but
bis wife was not satisfied. When his wife
was on tho train, the gentleman approached
Maund again and asked him where he was
going. Maund told him, and the man said
that he was going there himself, and be
made Mannd get in the buggy and go with
him. 81 want to see IL you are telling q lie
about your eye" he said, and Maund said
he had to bat his eye as fast as he could, ten
rniIaQ IL xPag "a xUaak haforo ha
with 1t.
EX-CONGRESSMAN EDWARDS SOME"
Ex-Congressman Edwards Of the Fourth
congressional district said that the funniest
thing he saw in the war was once when
Gen. Lee ordered everybody to make their
own boots out Of raw hide. 1t was bitter
cold, he said, and the soldiers were without
shoes. They marched over rock, until their
feet bled and were frostbitten. After a
long march they came across large herd
of cattle. They began to slaughter right
and left. When they had appeased their
hunger, the orders came from Gen. Lee
that every man had to make shoes of the
beef hides. The shoes were made by sewing
together pieces of the hides The hides
were green and stretohy, but
they were tolerably satisfactory
until the snow began to melt
and the sandals got wet. The shoes
stretched then until the men might as easily
get their bodies into them as their feet.
But they had to wear them. The manner
of the men as they ''double-qucked" re-
minded the colonel of q cat with paper
boots on. At last the shoes got so large
that when the men put one foot down they
were obliged to stick their bayonets in tho
ground and pull the other foot up TO it,
When night came, and the officers
slept, the soldiers got rid of their boots.
The next morning they marched and sang,
Robert E. Lee is mighty fine man, but
he don't know nothing bout shoes"
THAT 'PossUM HUNT.
A stauch old citizen Of Upson county
likes to tell the story of the old man and his
son VINO went out 'possum hunting one night
during Christmas, and the old man
climbed the tree and fell out amongst the
dogs. The story-teller says it was trus
story. He was there and pulled the dogs off
SO be is evidently the son. 1t was this way:
After long chase through briers and mud
and water. the dogs treed out in thick
part Of the swamp. The 'possum was
up tall poplar, and the hunters
bad no ak. The old man, who prided him
self on his climbing, told the son 20 hold
the dogs and he would go up ami
fetch the ''little cuss" down. The boy col
Jared the d gs. and the old man climbed 10
the top Of the tree. The 'possum was
perched out on large limb, and as the old
man siaFied out on the limb, one leg slipped
under the limb and he wes 80 nearly ex-
hnusted from climbing that he could not
under the limb"
Get on top, pappy," shouted the lad
The Old man hicxe1 again vigorously. aud