Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1890-06-10
TALK OF THE DAY.


You can flatter the worst idler ON earth
I [Atchison Globe.
A bilious man hunting for something
20 get mad at is generally successful in
his search. Il Elmira Free Pres.
1t improves your memory to lend
/ friend s., but it destroys the memory of
your friend. Il New Orleans Picayune.
Nature has wisely arranged matters so
that man can neither pat his own back
nor kick himself II Lawrence American.
Mrs. D'Arte-"The 'Angelus, l see,
has gone TO Canada. Grubber-" An
gelus? | guess l never heard of him
What bank was he inT-[Boston Tran
script.
The conductor Ito train robbers
Boys, there's no money in this job; the
Pullman porter has just jumped off the
train and escaped. ."-[Scribners Maga-
/ zine.
Jackson What sort of cigar is that
you're smoking?" Joblot-"T That's a
Key West. How do you like itf' Jack
son-"I like it in Key West "-I Lowell
Citizen.
! Somehow man feels much worse the
day after he has lost an hours sleep on
account of the baby than he does the day
after he has lost five hours sleep at the
club. Atchison Globe.
Had TO be fast-A. "What wonder
fully fast horse that Axtel is?" b.
Bound to be fast. Just look at the
gang at the race track he is obliged to
associate with. "-[Texas Siftings.
They all do it.-Young Brindle-"P Pa,
can't have flannel shirt like yours y
Mr.. Brindle speaking from experience)
my son, you may have this after it's
washed. "-[Lippincotts.
/ Prominent jewellers now affirm that
the diamond solitaire earring is going
out. This will be cheering news to ears
that have never been able to get them
in.-[Boston Commonwealth.
Safe hiding place. am about scared
to death. / hear that the anarchists
have sworn to kill me if they find me.
What shall / do?" "Get position in
bath house. -[Chicago Inter-ocean.
Not yet universally adopted. -" What's
that on your coat collar, Jack? Been
calling?" "Ya-as. You see, my girl
hasn't got onto this new smokeless pow
der yet. ~ Merchant Traveller.
Farmers wife-"If you win help beat
this carpet, will give you something to
eat +" Dirty Davidson, the tramp (haugh-
tily)-" Maaml I'm a gentlemanl l
never beat my way. "-[Toledo Blade.
Struck hard. d.-Wife-"What makes
you sopale ?" Husband-@I just lodged
Hardup. If he had seen me he would
have hit me hard. "Hit your What
forr' "Ten dollars. "-[Chicago Inter
Ocean.
A silvery tongue.-Swell-"V Very sorry,
my man. Got no coppers. Tramp
"Ah. thinl Would / be afther supposin'
that gintleman of your quality would
carry the dirty thingsF Gets quarter.
Fun.
Young American pluck.
"Will you divide the marbles with your
little brother with or without being
whipped?" Bobby 'spect I've got to
divide, pa, but I'll take the lickin' first. !"
New York Press.
Xantippe-"I declare, how cheerful
my husband looks to-day" mo won
der, sister; you know to-day is election,
and the poor man is naturally delighted
to have his say about something. ~
! [Fliegende Blaetter.
A wise course-"I fell over the rail, !"
said the sailor, and the shark came
along and grabbed me by the leg. And
what did you dor "I let him have the
leg. / never dispute with a shark.
A benevolent wish.-Cumso-"M My
dear. do you think that our occupations
in the next world will be the same as in
this?" Mrs. Cumso-"Well, / should be
sorry to think you would smoke as much
there as here. Life.
Teacher What's the matter? You
look all puffed up" Pupil-"I began
studying the Welsh language last night,
and accidentally swallowed the word
sDwff W chm wff dfrynnddyywch-
That's all.''-[New York Journal.
A fair exchange. e.-Yabsley-@I hear
you have quit drinking. Nudge
aThat's right You see, am engaged to
be married" Yabsley-"Oh see. You
have given up your toots for your toot-
sic. - lTerre Haute Express.
At a soiree. Miss Gushlere-@ How
torturing, how fearful the thought must
be for a great singer to know that she
has lost her voicel" Mr.. Praclere-@ 1t
is much more torturing when she doesn
know it - Harvard Lampoon.
Obeying instructions. Mistress You
must tell them a white lie, Bridget. and
say have gone cut of town Bridget
ITO visitors)- The mistress says | must
tell yez white lie, and that she's gone
out of town. Fl Munsey's Weekly.
A historical secret. Charlie Rivers
aAnd SO you viii be next week, F1os-
sic! Why, you are getting to bequite an
old lady" Flossie--Y Yes, I'm getting
old much faster than sister May is. She
has been % ever since can remember.