The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1890-10-05
REVISING THECENSUS
Nye Gives Some Results of His
EXpurgatory LabOIS.
SAMPLES OF IMPURE THOUGHT.
(which He Ran Across Among the Otherwise
Immaculate Returns Freely Given
TO the Public.

iFoR TIE SUNDAY HERALD. BY special
arrangement with the authori
. My thanks are due to the printer for
advance sheets, promptly received, of a
little brochure entitled 1.-The Literary
Side of the Census" the receipt, or
recipe, rather, of which is hereby CRATE
fully acknowledged.
1t is little volume of less than 200
pages, neatly printed by the govern
ment, think 1t is going to be rapid
seller and great boon. 1t is compiled
! from answers on file at the Census bu-
Aseau mainly regarding the interrogato-
Ties issued by consent and connivance of
government relating to membranes on
property and other private matters. The
publication of the book reveals for the
first time the true reason for these COM
pulsory answers. Acting upon the hint
already given by thrifty publishers and
syndicates, who write to eminent people
occasionally asking them how they
earned their first money and whether
they have it yet, and if so, whether they
would be willing to loan some of it, etc.,
the bureau has its drawers now full of
statistics, as one might say, and with no
cost at all is going to issue this book as
soon as have looked it over carefully
and done some expurgating. Mr.. Wan
amazer says he will cheerfully put it on
his bargain counter if will go through
it carefully and see that it is pure.
My esteemed contemporary, the editor
of The Congressional Record, has gone
through it, but in a slightly cursory
manner, / think, and quite a number of
impure thoughts have escaped his eagle
eye-thoughts which of course might be
permitted in deliberative body, but
not in the mails Those who have hap
pened to be in the postal car on hot
day when an impure thought was in
transit win agree with the writer that it
ought to be stopped, especially during
the crowded seasons, when the mails are
already owertaxed with their burden of
lottery business.
If | could have my way would have
appointed by the president large COM
1nittee of mind readers, to have general
supervision of the United States, and the
moment any person was detected hav-
ing an impure thought the committee
should have power to hit him back of
the ear with club and take him before
the cadi. The time is surely coming
when the now lawless think retort of
the great thinking world will have to be-
come subservient to the laws of the land
This will be general at that time. Peo-
pie who have surrepitiously thought
damn for centuries will be brought III
and exposed 1t will astonish a good
many, think 1t will create complete
panic. No one but the dignihed and
non-committal idiot will be safe. But !
fear that l am DEPRESSING.
The book above referred to embodies
some odd information regarding indebt-
edness, and sheds light at times incident
ally on some points not embodied in the
census regulations and not contemplated
by the act authorizing the taking of the
census. / will give few of these re.
plies bearing on the mortgaged condi-
ton of property and the reasons there
for, carefully eliminating names anl
residences.
One man VINO writes very po0l
hand says; 81 have mortgaged my place
for 5000 to neighbor of mine in order
to give my daughter good schooling ani
accomplish her so as she could do well
She learnt to eat pie with fork anj
play The Maiden's Prayer ON tn,
piano, and then married what's called
an nronaut. He made an ascension las
spring, and they didn't find him till las
Fourth of July, when brother of his'i
made an ascension at the same place, anC
when he come down he discovered m,
eon-in-law in tree. He reckonizet
him before he seen him, he said. TIL,
widow and children are stopping a
home now along with me and mother
Il will lift the mortgage as soon as cal
IF you will keep this TO yourself. L
galded Martha a good deal when thi