The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1890-04-12

FALLING on his foot. When he had every
thing on the table he looked around him
with ecclesiastical air and proceeded to
do the hOnors. Poor MIR. Bowser! He
! had put the steak into spider without
butter or grease, and it was as black as
coal and rather more tasteless. When
he poured the coffee the grounds insist
ed on filling half the cup, and the eggs
he had fried in some rancid lard the girl
had set away and that could not be APP
preached nearer than two feet. He had
attempted to bake some potatoes, but
they were hardly warmed through. In
his goodness of heart he had toasted me
a piece of bread, and when it fell into
the ashes he had wiped off as much for
eign substance as he could with the
brush-broom used about the stove.
tried hard to keep my face straight, but
my feelings finally got away with me,
and Mr.. Bowser looked up with an in.
jured air and said:
"You never cooked better meal in
all your life-you nor any of your rela-
tions for thousand years back!'
just then l saw that he had used a
pie-tin for the butter-dish, and had to
laugh again.
Look here! Mrs. Bowser!" he shout.
ed, Us he bobbed up and almost over
turned the table. "This thing has gone
too far-too farl l see now where the
real trouble lies. see now why no girl
will stay with you"
''But this last one was willing to stay"
"Yes, and what did you do? De-
graded her in her own eA5imation until
self-respect obliged her toquit."
"You went out and bleW her up"
81 did! l went out ard blewI And
who asked me to do it?"
mo one."
THAT settles it, Mrs. Bowser-seStles
it right here and now! It's the last meat
Ill ever cook for you, and we have had
our last girl! see why they can't stay.
L see what's the matter with you and
the other women who employ help, and
won't be a party to it,"
Il asked you to let the girl alone
"'You did! Never! You begged of me
TO go out and throw her over the alley
fence, and her bundle after her and
what must that poor girls feelings be
at this moment! now go. 1 may re-
turn or | may not. Ii not you have the
consolation of knowing what drove me
from my own domicile."
But he returned. All husbands re-
turn. They begin to feel ashamed Of
themselves Def re they are clear of the
gate, and the next hour is spent in fish
ing for an excuse to return quarter of
an hour earlier than usual. A girl hap
pened along ust after he left and l
hired her, and he hasn't even referred to
the subject since.-Detroit Free Press.
1t All Depends.
Edith Jagged twenty-three)-Re
I'm astonished, jamie, that you have not
more self-control. The idea of being SO
vexed because you have received a comic
valentine 1t should not cause you even
to frown. A lady never allows herself
to be controlled by her feelings in that
way, never, under any circumstances!
Is this what you are making such an ado
about? (Reads.) A sauce-box. Oh,
jamie, this is very funny-it really is
most comical. Look at the expression
of that eye. What! you're not crying?
Oh, wouldn't be baby whatever 1
might be. Why, here's another "a de-
ceitful old maid" This is too absurd!
How could girl of fourteen be an old
maid?
jamie (half smiling)-That amt mine,
that's yours. Ma opened it in mis-
take.
Edith-Mine? Who has dared to send
such valentine to me? Who has dared
oh, i'll can only find out the misera-
ble-the contemplate wretch! Oh,
dear, dear, dear! Bursts into tears.
What have ever done to deserve-oh,
VIII!
jamie (sotto voce)-Who's the baby
now?-Judge.