The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-01-10
THEY SIZED NO BLOOD.
Col Ochiltres and ex-Gov. Bum Still |
in This World.


still permitted to walk the Hoffman house
corrid with his crutctes. and ex-GOv.
William Bum Of Idaho to enjoy the philo-
sophie delights Of draw poker. The she'd
ding OF ODD would have been the result Of
a du /, and the gentlemen would have been
the Princi ais. The climax was the result
of practical joke. 1t is pretty generally
known among his friends that Ochiltree has
a fOndless for practical jokes, although
when the occasion demands not man II
the town can be more serious than he
Like all men, however, who find fun or sat
isfactlon In harmless joking of a practical
kind, the gentleman from Texas can
De imposed upon hi uself, and much more
easily than be would care to acknowledge.
That Is why there was more zest and inter-
est in deceiving him than IN decelvlng
man who looked at life through frosted
spectacles. Gov. Bum, Steele Mackaye,
George Clark of Days company, John
Chamberlin, and Maj. VI. Z. Hindy of
Washingt n, Col. Frank 4. Burr and Louis
n. Megargee of New York were in the
Hoffman house cafe one evening, discussing
the fate Of the nation with the gentleman
from Texas.
DIRECTED TO BE PUNCTUAL.
Before the party broke up, Ochitree on
behalf of Henry e. DiXey, the comedian,
asked his friends to attend a clam-bake
wit him the next day at noon, and was
particular in impressing upon them the
| beauties of punctuality. The colonel
| stamped off to bed with his crutches, and
the others departed to their respective
hotels. When the next day came the first
man on the ground was John Chamberlin.
| He was about an hour behind time and
supposed Ochiltree bad become tired
waiting, and had gone to the clam
bake with the rest. A little
| ques .ioniug discovered that not only
/ had every man in the party failed to keep
his promise, but that the Texan colonel had
not followed his own advice. He was still
in bed, snoring. like a forty pound safety
| valve With sixty pounds pressure. Later
| in the dav Mr.. Cham erlin ran across the
delluquents, and it was agreed that Ochil-
tree should be gammoned into believing
that all hands had been punctually at the
| rendezvous as agreed upon. and that he was
the only promise breaker in the lot.
WHY THEY ALL SMILED.
1t was then suggested that written mes
| sage be left, expressing regret that the ap-
pointment had not been kept. Then Gov.
Bum, seeing the way oren for joke, wrote
| a scathing letter, beginning it with 'Sir'
and ending it with Yours, etc. He de-
clared that the failure of Col. Ochitree to
| keep the engagement. after exacting such
promises of punctuahty, was without pre-
|
for the niceties of life could not brook such
treatment, and that certainly no man
claiming the title of gentleman would offer
| il. The coLspiratorS smiled several times
over the brilliant idea their brains had
evolved and strolled off.
COL. OCHILrREE GETS MAD.
Col Ochiltree came downstairs late in
the day. He remembered something about
the clam bake, and made an effort to find
his friends 50 that he could apologize for
| disappointing them. Toward dusk he
dropped into the St. James hotel. There he
saw Bum, Handy, Burr, Megargee, and
Capt. William M. Conner. The colonel, sur
| prsed at the apparent seriousness of his
friends and made uneasy by Capt. Corners
serious view of the situa ion, hobbled
all the way back to the Hoffman and
found the aforesaid communication. Gov
| Buun's letter was taken slowly from its
envelope as Ochiltree made his way toward
the Twenty-tifth street door, and, If the
statements of several reput able persons are
to be taken, he nearly hid an apoplectic fit
when he read the note This he did not less
than four times, and with each perusal his
face became redier and his breathing more
| labored, until at last it was impossible to
distinguish where his hair ended and his
face began. With kangaroo leaps he hur-
ried back to the st. James and bolted into
the cafe almost bursting with anger.
HE CALLED BUM LoAFER
Going directly up to Gov Bum, whose
face was perfectly expressionlesS, Ochiltree
| roared:
Ibid you write that letter? Did you
| write that, sir"
Mr.. Bum never moved muscle. He
scanned the writing and replied calmly
''YeS, sir. That is my handwriting"
One of the colonels clutches fell to the
| tOl1 Dot at
loafer A loafer, sir. Do You understand
me? A loafer." As the colonel spoke he
thrust his arm forward, and shook the sheet
of paper under Bunn's nose.
SILL imper,urbable, the governor permit
ted himself TO smile i'll most exasperatIng
manner and remarked: 80, you can do that
with IMMUNITY. | can't notice a man on
crutches. You are safe, sir"
"Never mind the crutches," beloved
Ochiltree; never mind the crutches I'll
throw 'em away. You are a loafer. sir!'
At this point some of the party got
between the two men.
DUEL IN PRoSPECr.
On the following morning, however, the
| joke began to look serious. Col Ned Al
friend called on behalf of his friend Col.
| Thomas F. Ochltree, aud asked who would
receive a letter for Gov. William NJ. Bum.
| With neck seriousness Can't. Conner was
indicated and he, entering into the spirit of
the occasion, let it be understood that he
stood ready TO represent the absent Bum
from whom he had received several mes
sages relating to the insult" The DISCO
sition TO smile arose again. but it was
instantly checked by Col Alfriend, who
was dead serious. Gov. Bum was expected
in town in few hours, and unless he could
be notified in time ne might come in con-
tact with Ochiltree and attempt to carry
the Joke to a further extreme, and invite a
| tragedy. Meanwhile Col OChiltree sent for
! Capt Conner because of their long and
| ultimate acquaintance, and the capt ain in
the role of moderator, offered mis- services
in any capacity that they might be neces-
sary. He pictured Gov. Bunn's sensitive
ness in glowing colors, and deprecated any
thing rash, but Ochiltree was not to be
| appeased.
Shortly after this, however, one of the
party ''blew the gaff," or, in plain English,
revealed the whole plot to the ex-congress-
man from Texas, and white-winged peace
be lan to coo and flap its wings once more.
| The saddest part of the whole story was
! Dixeys disappointment. Instead of twenty
men at his clam-bake he had five or there
abouts, and lost his appetite entirely be-
cause there was too much 10 eat and too
few persons to eat it. As far as the duel is
concerned, it is off.
Elegance, Luxury, and Comfort.