The Sunday morning news. [volume] (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1886-1891, 1890-01-12
ABOUT THE CITY,
The Condensed Pirate Does
Up His Fellow Citizens
in Rainbow Co1ors.
DOWN IN OLD PAULUs.

rascals who, while attending the
Cooper Hall balls, take a notion oc-
casionully TO hold a mock Police Court
in the room at present occupied by
His Honor, and wind up by spilling
the contents of his judicial inkstand
over his desk and chair.
Acting Receiving Teller Rice, of the
Second National Bank, walked into
the First Precinct Station House the
other day to complain against Rus
sell. the forger, who, with an officer
and a crowd OF curious spectators,
stood awaiting his appearance. Ser
geant, in the inner room telephoning
TO the Grove street station house CON
corning an accident-'sH Hello, there.
An officer from the Second, you say,
presentY'' 'Ah, yes, interrupted Mr..
Rice, from the Second National
I--ah-ohl excuse meln
Billy Anderson's effort to fool Old
Pop, at the Soup House, was sue
cessful. Both We're gazing from the
bar room window. Billy was sadly
wondering why Pop did not do some
thing, and the old host was conteIn-
plating man laying some brick on
chimney across the street. Hey.
PLY, siiusr you told me vat in dunder
dot galoot vas climbing dot shinney
oop for, ehg" This was Billy's chance
and taking long careful survey of
the chimney he quietly tapped the old
man on the head, replyingas solemnly
as his sanity disposition permitted,
there is no man there, Pop. He is
here, touching the old mans head.
significantly. Eth, Cheerusalem, vot
you dalk? You drinks Inc crazy dot
dondG a man see ven NE looks by
him? Look here solnemore dimes
William complied, and gently shaking
his head in a grave manner earnestly,
and with as much solemnity as before,
declared positively that no man was
there, that what Pop saw was cat.
Gott IN HimInell you vOs a pig WOOL. "
Cant help that, Pop, that's cat.
You yos sure, positive, cerdain, chr
Yes, sure" ''Vell, Ply gracious it vas
funny schnapps dot makes a cat a
man Dem schnapps | hat, | drinks
no good, vas, hey, you dry dem: you
vas shuge. Billy, mild eyed as an
angel complained, took a thooker
up a hummer and ''corkern
without ice water Placing the goblet
on the counter he kindly informed
Pop" that he had never tasted bet
ter, and that the old man had the
grippe. William then walked down
the street.
MANY, kerchoosl are called. and,
pretty near all are kerchosen, y is the
way Billy Herbert misquoted Scrip
ture when he referred to the grippe.
Joe Whelan:-sHello, Tom, where
did you get that ulster2 Did it come
on a requisitiongn Ex-Freehelder
MeDonough, No, sir, it came from
Jerome Park.
Mike O'Mara is at last convinced
that there is a future. He declares
now that the very warm weather OF
this winter has been caused by an un-
usual number of unfortunate souls
that have been sent by the grippe to
perdition. 1t is the heat generated by
them that warns the earth
Ex-Justice of the Peace Horsley,
who died last week, was one of the
old New York fire laddies and regu-
lar '.vamp.n He used to run with No.
AZ, and was often seen about the head
quarters of the Firemen's Association
on Eighth street. Many are the stories
which were there told OF the logged
persistency with which he performed
his duty in yanking along his ma
chine and laying out the members of
q rival company. 1t was in these days
no doubt thathe acquired the courage
which lead him to defy Justice Bedle
and the Supreme Court.
Doc" McCreva pronounced in his
opinion that Miss Pursel had nothing
whatever to do with the death of
Mrs. DIR. Kniffin at Trenton Doc
bases his opinion upon the knowledge
of the fair sex which he has acquired
by long and assiduous observation.
There was great fun for couple of
Western Union linemen at Hudson
and Montgomery streets one day last
week. A wire which they were re-
pairing fell down across the horse car
track just as a Greenville car came
ambling up the street.
AS soon as the driver spieed the
wire look of horror spread over his
face and he brought the old ear horses
up with a jiril which if it didn't throw
them back upon their launches must
have thrilled them with astonish.
ment. The conductor, young sprig
of humanity from the asparagus beds
with his cap at an angle of ninety de-
grees and faded rose bud in his but
tonhole, came tripping up to see what
was the lidtteI.
As soon as he spied the wire. with
look of confidence at a pretty girl in
the ear, he sprang forward to remove
it when the driver yelledin way to
raise ones hair rap dat wire; do
you want to get VOTED; OATS live
'lectric wire, dat is" The conductor
sprang back about six feet and
dropped his rosebud near where the
wire crossed the track. but nothing
could induce him to return and pick
it up. A crowd soon gathered around
and long line of cars began to stretch
out toward the ferry No one, how
ever, undertook to touch the wire, and
the methods which were suggested for
getting it cut OF the way would fill
about four hundred columns of THE
SUNDAY MORNING NEWS.
Finally the two lineinen, who had
been Watching these proceedings from
the top of pole and had almost lost
their grip through laughing. came
down, and while the crowd watched
them with blanched faces, removed
the wire with their bare hands. 1t
was dead telegraph wire.
They have q joke on well known
citizen of this town, at least the man
who tells it says So 1t seems that the
citizen bought five tickets to the late
HasbrOucl charity co11eart and when