Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1890-07-16
BARBER COUNTY INDEX
WEDNESDAY. JULY Is, 1880.
THE LIMEKILN CLUB.
Prof. McAfoy johnson Delivers q Leoturt
on "a WeiRhtV SubIect.


Prof. MoAfoy johnson Delivers a Lecture
on "a WeiEhty Subject.
When the meeting had been duly
opened Brother Gardner announced that
Prof. McAfoy Johnson, of Florida, was
in the ante-room and waiting to deliver
his celebrated address on: "Whar Was
We? Wbar Is We? and Whar Shall
We BE? or What's de Use of All Dis
Fussin'?"
de professor arrove heah two days
ago." explained the president IAN ate
mo- purvishuns at one meal dan me an
de ole woman could eat in week
has bad TO lend him a white shirt, pair
of socks, two paper collahs an fo'ty
cents in money, an | won't conceal de
fack from you dat hope he will leave
town right away arter dis lecktur. In
case he shows disposition TO linger
/ trust that Giveadam Jones will
take il upon hisself to see dat he moves
along. While | doan' wish to discour-
age talent an ambishun among our
race, can't afford 10 foot all de eX-
pense out Of my own pocket. AS fur
de essay, / doan' know what it is. We
will give him a far show, an when he
retires Brudder Jones will retire wild
him an drop a broad hint dat it is only
half mile across de water to Canada.
The professor was then escorted in.
He was a tall, cadaverous man, with a
hollow voice and sunken eyes, and the
first impression made was that he could
cat meat and potatoes all day long with
out filling up. lie was received with
much applause, which compliment he
acknowledged by bowling TO the right
and left, and with every bow his pants
pulled up on his boot-legs a full six
inches.
Having arrived at the platform, the
professor put down two goblets of water,
slipped troche into his mouth, and
after removing his neck-tie and collar
he led off with:
my confidin' friends whar was we?
Jump backwards wild me to the Garden
of Eden, an you find man wanderin
up an down among the pansies an de
hollyhocks. 1t was de beautifulesi
place you eber saw. Outside of dc
flowers an shrubs, dar was water.
melyons an peaches an grapes an per-
simmons till you couldn't rest All
Adam had to do was TO eat wild one
hand an go fishin' wild de odder.
lie could sleep all night an half of dc
next day. He didn't hev muffin tc
buy, no taxes to pay, an chick
ems roasted so low down dat he didn't
hev to use no ladder. You hev prOba
bly, bin told dat Adam was a white man
but doan let any body fool you l hey
looked into de subjick as close as pus
son kin, an all de Jacks go to show da
he was of our color. Great applause.
! hev bin told dat he probably resem
bled dc pusson who now stands befo
you. Faint applause.l AS to dat, i
makes no difference, an / am not d.
man to try an build myself up at any
one elses expenses. OATS whar' We
was, my confidin' friends-right in the
Garden Of Eden, gettin' fat ebery day
an hevin' de tallest kind of time. W.
reckoned we had struck ajob dat woulC
last foreber, an we was pulled up &C
cordin'. We felt dat we owned d.
airth, an nobody could tech US wild {
ten-foot pole. Applause.
my next subject" said the speaker
after swallowing large quantity o
water, lis: 'Whar' Is We?" While We
was walkin' on our high heels about da'
rardsn, foelin ourselves de aristocracy
of de airth, long cum de bounce an We
was lifted out widout a cent in on
pockets or a shirt to our backs. We ha
clumb to de top OF de persimmon tree t,
fall kerohunk. lAgitation, From en-
1oyin' FREQ board an lodgin's, wild nuf
fin to do but hunt rabbits an go fishin'
we was bounced out to live on grass an
made our beds in tho bull-rushes Nor
agitation. We got it bad,a we has BIZ
down on our luck cher since. Oats why
we doan' push ahead faster. OATS WHY
we am at de bottom an de whit,
man at de top. lie didn't git no sicl
soft snap to begin wild, an so he didn'
hev muffin to lose nor feel bad about
Whar' is we2 We am de under dog
we am down. We has got to take d
peelins an lot de white man hev d.
Eaters (Groans and sighs
my next subject disqualifies de i'm
putashun of 'Whar' Shall We Bel
While 1 realized the percolashun da
we has gained upon it, de fucher ha
an imputashus disinclinashun. | som'
times feel like givin' up de struggle fu
impene trability an subsistin' my en-
devors to prolong de asservashun
Yells. Five centuries hence de sus
ceptibility may professionally espous
de righteousness, but whar will we b
den? In consonance Wild preyiou
expostulashuns, feel dat W
orter to relinquish de assiduity of
hemisphere an seek to evaporate d
hallucination which combats our solari
". Gem'len, wild desc few remarks, ar
thankin' you from de bottom of M
heart for de Indifference wild which yo
hev eliminated de frigidity Of my salu
tashun, l hev de honor to bid You goo
night, an to add dat fur de mex fC
weeks shall make my headquarters a
de cabin of Brudder Gardner, whar
shall be prepared to remove cons ar
bunions at de rate o. twenty-five cents
remove"
great storm of applause greeted tn
speaker as he retired. So did Giveadar
Jones. Brother Jones returned in abou
ten minutes with his toes shown
through his right boot and loose sol
Topping as he walked, The professC
was seen no NOR. Something eviden
ly induced a change of heart and
probably left town that same night
Detroit Free Press.
ALABAMA CLAY-EATERS.
a Queer Community Found Among Il
Rugged Hhls of Marion County.
A correspondent of the Pittsburg
Dispatch writes from Birmingham,