davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1890-10-16

BEST easiest to use and cheapest. Piso'G
Remedy for Catarrh. By druggists. 25c.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1890-10-16

How My THROAT HuRTs! Why don't YOU
Pixies Toothache Drops Cure in one minute
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1890-10-16

THE crab may not be as good eating as
the lobster but it does very well on pinch.
-Elmira Gazette.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1890-10-16

MEN who have horse sense know when to
say neigh.-Boston Gazette
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1890-10-16
When?

It's easy for girl to get a pianotuner OF
the string.-Binghamto Republican.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1890-10-16
THE SUPREME COURT.
The Constitutional Amendment for
It's Relief
AN Important Measure to be Voted Upon
ny the People of Missouri at the
Coming Election Reasons
for Its Adoption.

IL Is not gen orally known that the
General Assembly of Missouri, at its
last session, submitted to the people
constitutional amendment to be voted
on at the coming election, the purpose
OF winch is to afford the much-needed
reIlet to the Supreme Court.
the court is now in arrears on it's docket
eoo cases When 4 cause has been appealed
i. taxes ABOUT two and a half years to reach
u IN the regular course on the Supreme
court docket If a new trial is awarded six
months at least will intervene before a sec.
oho verdict can be had, and in case of a Sec
onu appeal, which is not unusual two and 4
nait iI-"re years will elapse before "A second
uecision can be had i'll the Supreme Court
linus over five years will have interviewed
between tue first appeal and a judgment ia
the Supreme Court on the second
appeal 1t not infrequently happens
tnat third trial is granted because
ot errors and mistakes in the pro-
ceeolhSs or the trial court, and in that
event almost 81 decade passes between the
institution OF the suit and its final determi-
nation In the Supreme Court. The Supreme
court can n OF catch up with the docket and
thus AFFORD the necessary relief unless its
working power shall in some way be in
creased An examination of the number of
cases brought to the Court within the last
TWO years, and comparison of the same
win the number of cases disposed of, will
snow the last statement to be true The
work of the court for the last two years-or
ra,her' last four terms-may be summarized
as follows:
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1890-04-25
Ingersoll On Crime.

Before the ninth annual convention
of the State Bar association Col. Rob
ert &. Ingersoll delivered an address
upon the subject of Grimes Against
Criminals" in which at the outset he
demonstrated that punishment by tor
ture and death had fai ed to abate
crime. The following were among Mr..
Ingersol's utterances:
Degradation has been thoroughly
tried, with its maimings and brand
ings, and the result was that those who
inflicted the punishment became as de-
graded as their victims. 1t is safe TO
say that governments have committed
far more crimes than they have pre-
vented. | am perfectly satisfied that
there are millions of others incapable
of practicing certain virtues. There is
nc reformation in degradation. Who
ever is degraded by society becomes
its enemy. A punishment that de-
grades the punished will degrade the
government that procures the infic-
ton. Is there any remedyP Can any
thing be done for the reformation of
the criminal? He should be treated
with kindness. Every right should be
given him consistent with the safety Of
society. He should neither be degrad-
ed nor robbed. Why should these men
after having been imprisoned for years
be turned out WITHOUT the means Of
support Would it not be far better
to lay aside his earning so that when
the convict is released after five years
of Imprisonment he will have several
L,x. H. I'LL e l. - IL. a..
keep the wolf of crime from the door
of his hearth If we are to change the
conduct of men we must change their
conditions. Extreme poverty and
crime go hand in hand. Ignorance,
filth, and poverty are the missionaries
of crime. As long as dishonorable
success outranks honest effort-as long
as society bows and cringes before the
great thieves-thcre will be little ones
enough TO fill the jails."
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1890-04-25

Irate Housewife -" You're always
breaking something" Servant-'Sure
but / amt tried it on yeur record for
fault finding. Rome Sentinel.
Bronson-"See here. Galley, did
you tell Smithers l was the meanest
white man that ever livedpn Galley
mo, l didn't draw the color line" -
N. Y. Sun.
The poet says that ."Tis love which
makes the world go round" 1t also
makes the young man go around"
quite frequently Sunday nights.-To-
ledo Commercial.
what is your idea of gentleman,
Yellowlyp" "a true gentleman al
ways laughs at the joke of a story and
never says that he heard it before. ~
Boston Courier.
He-"What did your father say
when you told him that we were en-
gagedP" She-"Oh, Augustus, you must
not ask me to repeat such language!'
Boston Budget.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1890-04-25
SUPERFICIAL SURVEY.

II vas discovered at banquet In New
York city, which William Lloyd Garrison
attended that noA oil the negro walters had
heard the name before.
Tho Boston Transcript says: "Silence is
golden: but 1t Is the other mans silence
that Is meant" That is true. Carlyle was
always preaching silence, aud vet he was
forever screeching at the top OF his voice.
Richard Stahl has had considerable
matrimonial experience. He has been mar
ried three times, divorced twice, sued for
alimony once. He is going 70 market his
experience. and is composing "weda,,g
march"
Ralph Disraeli, a brother OF Lord Bea-
constield, has retired, at the age OF eighty,
-fter fifty years OF public service, from the
Alice OF deputy clerk OF the parllaments,
TO which he was appointed by Lord Bea-
consheld.
1t has been asserted that chewing wood
en- toothpicks sometimes produces small
ulcers In the mouth, and that even the
stomach has been similarly affected by the
action Of the small particles of wood de-
Ached by chewing.
The discovery OF uranium at the Union
Mines, Cornwall, was announced several
months ago. This is believed to be the on.
] ~ known lode OF that metal in the world,
as 1t has previously been found only in
pockets and patches.
The postmaster OF Owosso, Mich, has
been 80 pestered by local dudes gossiping
with his pretty clerks that ne has placed
over each window a printed card which
Nis: "This window for p o. busir----
only; not for visiting"
AT Bruenn, Austria, burglars have cir
cumvented the use of iron shutters for
store windows by cutting a hole in the
glass through the little round hole left in
the shutter for ventilation, and the fishing
for the valuables inside with a hook and
line.
Jean Hosmer, the once brilliant actress
who died In obscurity the other day, was a
great admirer Of j. Wilkes Booth as an
actor. She said he was a better actor than
his brother Edwin and more like his father
in fire and vigor, but he did not possess
the grace and refinement of his brother.
Count Herbert Bismarck, during his so.
jurn In the Orient learned q new proverb,
which he repeated in q recent speech:
"There are three things with which no
man should play-the tire, because it can
burn him; the viper, because it can sting
him q woman, because she can love him"
There seems to be little doubt that old
Gabriel, the mission Indian, who died not
long ago at Salinas, Cal, was l5O years old.
Austin, Texas, has decided to erect the
greatest dam in the United Statestover the
Colorado river IL will cost 81, 500, 600 and
afford II, 900 horse power
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1890-04-25
SELLERS OF SHEET MUSIC.
Statesmen who Have Many Petty Trials
and DivertIng Incidents.

'The petty trials and tribulations of
the salesman who retails sheet music
behind a counter are a vexation to the
spirit and WEAKNESS to the flesh"
The speaker. says the Boston Herald,
was a well-known publisher Of music
and the senior partner in West street
firm. II served a tedious apprentice
ship to that sort of thing myself" he
continued, land so i know whereof /
speak. 1t is notorious that the musi-
cal world is peopled perhaps more
largely than any other profession with
cranks. / suppose that when man is
thoroughly absorbed in the theory and
practice of harmony he is prone to be
Jared by the discords of everyday life
S1d is disagreeably conscious of being
out of tune with the universe. But,
however we account for it, the fact re-
mains that music-buyers are as a class.
the most exciting and techy of custom
ers. Half the time they haven't the
faintest idea as to what they want, and
they will frequently own to this frank
", relying on the clerk to make selec-
tons for them.
But the life OF music clerk has it's
compensations. The grotesque and
picturesque incidents that come under
his eyes are numberless. You see that
pale young man with the saffron
whiskers over there. Well, only yes
terday a beautiful, languorous-eyed
young lady tripped in here, and glid-
ing to the counter in front of that
guileless youth lisped dreadfully; Will
xso,, rive no ,,o,,r hand In uninapi Tho
clerk happened to be as bashful as he
looks, and he was taken completely
aback. He flushed vivid scarlet
stammered Why certainly made as
IL to extend his hand. and then, be-
thinking himself in time, climbed to
yonder shelf and brought down the
song Your Hand in Mine. for which
the artlcss damsel had inquired in such
bewildering fashion. And the young
lady, who was evidently not without \
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1890-04-25

sense of the humor OF the situation.
dropped her languorous eyes and
smiled servnely.
1.-The man who gives the most trou-
bic is, perhaps. the funniest of all the
bores that drift into the music store.
He is the individual who wants the
music to an air which he does not
know by name. With the assurance
of Mozart he says to the tired clerk
who waits on him: What want goes
something like this: 'Tra-la-la, tra-la-
lee, tra-la-loo." Don'tNyou remember
itp Oh! you must know it. Tra-la-la,
tra-la-lee. If you'll run over the names
of songs that sound like that may re-
call the title. Tra-la-la, tra-la-la, ira
la-loo." There's only one thing to do
with this particular crank, and that is
to tell him bluntly that you have no
ear for music and that consequently
you have no idea of the tune he is try
ing to hit. After that he is reasonably
sure to Ease his discordant trilling
and take his leave.
Zone day last week a stalwart son
of Erin came in, accompanied by a
buxom young woman, whose brilliant
costume and affectionate manner
stamped her as a newly welded bride
In timid tone, enriched by delight
full brogue, the young woman asked
one of the clerks if he had the song
Let Me Fold Thee Close, Acushla.'
1--WE have Let Me + old Thee Close,
Mavoureen, replied the clerk.
Sure, it's all one. me boy broke
in the happy groom. 'Acushla or Ma
voureen, it comes to the same thing
The smiling clerk busted himself
with wrapping W the music. while the
blue-eyed bride slyly whispered to her
spouse: :Arrah, Teddy, be aisy now.
How cud yer expect the young gintle-
man to have any Gaelic
"All in ALL there are some very di-
verting incidents to be met with in an
establishment of this sort, and you
might pick up a much worse place for
the study of the funny side of human
nature"
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1890-04-25
The "swamp Fox" of G Georgia.

Turning over page of his private
memorandum-book, bill" Jones, the
detective, said to an Atlanta CoraStitu-
ton man:
Here's the case that gave me my
title as Swamp Fox of Georgia"
"What is itp"
"In '6s a safe was blown open in
Macon and about ell, 900 was taken
out. The case was put in my hands
and followed the man into the swamps
near where Timber City now is.
found him there working at the mill,
and got work, too. In short time he
and I were quite friends, and were
sleeping together. He had habit of
leaving the bed about daybreak every
morning, and began to follow him.
1t was slow work and required several
weeks. One morning I'd 60 a certain
distance, and then back. and the next
morning little further. Finally /
went to the end of his rope. followed
him into the heart of the swamp and
saw him take package from a stump.
He handled it awhile and then put it
back. / guessed what it was, and /
guessed well. That night ] went to
the stump and pulled out the package,
and found over $4,000 in it. That
night we went to bed together, but
about midnight got up, and, securing
an officer for whom sent, went to
that stump. The next morning he
came at the usual hour, and as he
stopped to reach for the package we
sprang upon him and he was ours"
What became of himp"
He got twenty years, and / got ST.
$780,"
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1890-04-25
A Prolific Playwright.

Speaking of Boucicault reminds me
of how little we really know about the
men who write plays and their words.
Think of it! Steele Mackaye, although
yet young man, less than forty-fve,
has written and produced twenty diff
ferent plays, nearly every one OF
which has run from fifty to hundred
nights in one locality. Besides this
vast amount of work he has built
three theatres and opened them with
his own productions. Yet not more
than one theatregoer in thousand
who will look at his wonderful play OF
Paul Kauvar" and his still more re-
markab.e one of IAN Arrant Knave,"
which he recently wrote for Stuart
Robson, can recall three plays from
this remarkable mans pen.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1890-04-25

The duke of Orleans when he left
the Paris conciergeric turned to the
governor OF that institution aud said:
"Monseur. although l am prisoner /
shall all my life remember my stay
here and the attention shown me.
Come, shake hands" What royal
condescension! But the duke is pro-
gressive. There was a time when a
pretender to throne would have told
his taller TO bend the knee.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1890-04-25
On the Verge of a Panic.

Jackson (whose financial credit is
gomez: Il tell you, Witherbee, we are
on the verge OF a financial panic. p"
Witherbee: "Pshawl What makes you
think thatP" (Con6dentially): well,
sir, Bagley and Roberts used to lend
me small sums year ago, but when l
go to them nowadays for five or a
ten they tell me frankly that they
haven't got it. Bagley and Roberts
are two of our best business men, too.
1 tell you, sir, we're going to have a
panic"
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1890-04-25

And instance of Browning's kindness
of heart is told in the Athen9un. A
young girl has TO write an explanation
of 'lProspice." Not satisfied with her
essay, she vemured to send il to Mr..
Browning, to whom she was an entire
stranger, and he took the trouble to
make sundry corrections and additions.
winding up with: There, my dear
young lady. / have done the little that
was necessary, and hope it may suffice.
A6ectionately yours, Robert Browning"
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1890-04-25
The Virtue of Hot Milk.

Tt is worthy of reiteration that milk
heated to as high temperature as it
can be drunk or slipped. above 100 de-
grees but not the boiling point, is of
great value as a refreshing stimulant
in cases o over-exertion, bodily or
mental. To most people who like milk,
it does not taste so good hot, but that
is a small matter compared with the
benefit to be got from it. Its action is
exceedingly prompt and grateful, and
the effects much more satisfactory and
far more lasting than those of any alco-
holic drink whatever. 1t supplies real
strength as well as exhilaration, which
alcohol never does.-Good Housekeep-
ina.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1890-04-25

AN eastern exchange states that n
new plan has been devised for treating
buildings with antiseptic vapor. Fresh
air is forced into ducks by fan. over
material saturated with the essence OF
eucalyptus, pinol, or any other anti
septic and aromatic extract OF vola-
tile nature. People who cannot go 10
the expense of the machinery ueces-
sary to thus medicato the air in their
homes will find that weak solutions OF
carbolic acid, or other antiseptic ma
'terial, IL put into the water tanks OF
their furnaces, will do the work quite
thoroughly.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1890-04-25

THE United States of Australia is
destined TO be creation Of the near
future, while the United States OF Can
ada is one OF the possibilities. A
movement looking toward independ-
ence has been started at least in the
former country. The chances, how
ever. in Canada point toward union
with the United States rather than
separate existence when the political
ties joining it TO Great Britain are
severed
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1890-04-25

The discovery OF gold in a recent
meteoric stone suggests some very in
teresting queries. 1t is commonly be-
lieved that meteors are fragments of
other worlds accidentally thrown out
side their usual orbit into that OF the
earth. The question is whether this
gold where it originated was the cause
OF as much strife and contention as
it has for ages been on this planet.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1890-04-25
SECRETARY BLAINE saws the acouisi

SECRETARY BLAINE says the acquisi-
ton OF Mexican territory is directly
opposed to the spirit OF the Mexican
constitution and the sentiment OF the
Mexican people, and that any effort to
bring it about would result in the in
evitable overthrow OF the ruling party
In that country. The United States,
he says, is therefore bound in honor
not to attempt TO obtain the cessiok oil
Mexican territory.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1890-04-25

THERE are still seven outstanding
territories to be admitted to the
Union when come the proper times
respectfully for giving them statehood
privileges. They are Idaho, Wyo-
ming. Arizona, New Mexico, Utah In
dian Territory and Alaska. Idaho
and Wyoming are about ready to come
in, and may be admitted soon.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1890-04-25
How's This!

We offer One Hundred Dollars Reward for
any case OF Catarrh that can not be cured by
taking Halls Catarrh Cure.
f. J. CHENEY d CO., Props, Toledo, o.
We, the undersigned, have known f. j.
Cheney for the last Is years, and believe him
perfectly honorable in all business transactions,
and financially able TO carry out any ooliga-
tions made by their firm.
West&Truax, Wholesaler Druggists, Toledo, Ohio
Walding, Kinnan 81 Marvin, Wholesale Drug
gists, Toledo. Ohio.
Halls Catarrh Cure is taken internally, act
ing directly upon the blood and mucous sur
faces Of the system. Price, 75c. per bottle.
Sold by all Druggists.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1890-04-25

IT is not generally known that the
famous Smithsonian institution at
Washington owes its existence to an
Enghshman, James Smithson, who
half century ago bequeathed ] mil
lion dollars to the government for its
establishment the only direct bequest
ever made to the government. John
Bull has his generous and Gle YER
moods
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1890-04-25

HENRY WILLARD has a great scheme
for uniting the Twin cities in the bond
of electricity generated by the Falls OF
St. Anthony. If he succeeds the skep-
tic will no longer doubt that electricity
Is the miracle worker of the age
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1890-04-25

THE Pan American Congress favors
the construction Of north and south
continental railroad 10 connect the ma
tions represented in congress. They
suggest the appointment OF an inter-
national commission of engineers to
make surveys, and report estimated
costs of such a road.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1890-04-25

THERE is good methodist in Con-
necticut according to a religious
periodical, who boxes the compass
svery time he writes his full name and
address. He is Crandall j. North.
New York East Conference, 80 West
avenue, South Norwalk, Conn.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1890-04-25
Whales.

The right whale" is the most vi.
cious of all the whalebone whales and
at times fights desperately for its life.
The iinbacks were rarely captur-
ed before the invention ofthe bomb
lance, as they ran 80 fast boats could
not stand the strain.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1890-04-25

JACK, the Ripper, is as goch at the
art OF concealment as Silcott He is
still at large and the London police
are still in pursuit, If bewilderment
can be said TO be pursuit.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1890-04-25

The hen Of the United States was
worth to this country on her own per-
sonal account last year 5000, coo, 600,
according to the bureau of Industrial
statistics,
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1890-04-25

A BERLIN correspondent says that
Emperor William is delighted with the
readiness with which the powers, es-
pecially France, have accepted his
invitation to the labor conference and
that nothing will be left undone to i'm
press upon tho delegates his apprecia-
tion of the compliments thus paid him.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1890-04-25

GENERAL HOWARD is OF the same
opinion as General Crook. that the
Apaches are good, docle people and
should be sent back to Arizona.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1890-04-25

Two ironclad frigates are TO be
built in England for the Russian fleet
In the Baltic.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1890-04-25

The Canadian parliament voted TO
postpone iedefnitely the liberal alien
labor bill
Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1890-09-18

A man stood in the doorway on Jeffer-
son avenue at 10 o'clock at night puff
inf at a cigar. Along came a second
man with an unlighted cigar in his fin
gers. and he halted and asked:
~Give me light, please?"
Certainly" WAS the reply.
The smoker then took from his vest
pocket a match, and from his coat tail
pocket candle wrapped in paper. He
struck the match, lighted the candle,
and then taking paper from another
pocket he lighted it at the flame of the
candle and held it out with the re-
mark:
Certainly, sir-always willing to
oblige."
The other looked at the match, the
candle and the paper in unfeigned as
constituent for q moment and then
drew back, pocketed his cigar, and
passed on with the remark:
Much obliged, but you are too all
fred civil. Detroit Free Press.
Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1890-09-18
whx women Appear Fleshy.

All women are equally solicitous re-
garding their personal appearance, but
while each one maintains individual
theories as to correct modes of height
ening her charms, scarcely one in hun
bred goes below the surface in studying
the subject. For instance, women af-
ficted with a super-abundance of flesh
will insist upon accentuating the waist
line-danger line it should be called
for the embonpoint sisterhood. The
very instant hips, shoulders and bust
lose their first shapliness the wise wo-
man will follow the tactics of the wary
mariner; as he slips cable and finds sal
vation in the open sea, she cuts stay
strings and is saved by her release from
close quarters.
Except for trimness about the back
of her gowns, she ignores curves alto
gether, and, by cunning adaptation
OF straight folds and elongated draper
les, conceals the encoachments of file ii
and breadth. Many clumsy, IN
seemly figure would assume fine pre-.
portions if this principle could be con
vincingly impressed on the sex. A ma
will carry with grace third again 9.
much avoirdupois az woman, simps
because he permits nature to use he
own discretion in distributing the fatty
tissues, and studies perpendicular lines
in every garment he wears. ILLUSTRATED
american,