The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1890-03-26
AN APRIL FOOL.

AN APRIL FOOL.
- WAS in aprivate boar,
& ing-house:
INK Wewere a jolly GROVE
NMN VW Who had with talent
iYE3G NSSN for rich jokes
81 ~0S \ Been literally el
ID lowed;
WI s%&T, But every now and the
AZ the men
SW3EAH< IN; Would get the uppe
hand
~ N And that the girls wit
no. SN one accord
Declared they coul
So with a reSOlutio
firm
To play them some good trick,
We lay awake night after night
To think Of something sleek;
When in the morning all were met
And each revealed her plot,
AS with one voice they all agreed
That mine went to the spot.
The day We chose was April Ist,
The time the MONDAY hour;
Meanwhile we looked as innocent
And harmless as flower.
The time was come; each man sat dovn
With heavy, long-drawn sigh;
Albeit underneath We saw
A twinkle in each eye;
They looked for cotton in the pie,
For corn bread frosted thick.
For napkins sewed together fast,
The sponge-cake Loaf q brick:
For drinking water peppered strong
And beefsteak seasoned sweet;
In fact, suspicion lurked about
Whater they touch or eat;
But when the meal in safety passed
They rose with grateful sigh,
And little dreamed the blow they feared
Would catch on" by and by;
For while they ate with cautious fear,
Lest then the sword might fall,
One Of us stcalthily did slip
Round to the entrance hall
And warmly pressed with fingers def
In each hat hanging there
A piece Of shoemaker's wax
To lay against their hair
Twas one OF those warm days in spring.
That forecast summer heat:
But, unsuspecting, out they go
Upon the sunny street.
AS one went sauntering jauntily,
Who should he chance to meet
But fair Miss Blank. lovely girl,
And one he thought real sweet.
He threw his tOothpick on the walk
All smiles he did appear,
He tried to raise his hat. but 10!
1t stuck fast 20 his ear.
The next, a well known banking clerk.
Returning to his biz,
ESsayed his derby to remove
why, what in thunder's thisw
He paused-glanced round him in dismay-
by jove! but this is pat;
Those hOrrid girls have somehow glued
My hair fast to my hat.''
He sat him down. resigned to fate,
His hat upon his head;
Soon in walked Mr.. President
And to him coldly said:
Have you been on lark. young man,
Or have you got cOld!''
Dear sir, l beg you will excuse,
To tell the truth, I'm sold!
Perhaps you'll kindly bear in mind
What day it's said to be,
And some one, sir, has made, you see,
An April fool Of me,''
The next, man of real estate,
Was asked to call at two
upon WIDOW, young and rich,
Who would her lease renew;
He rang the bell. then Strengthened up
To bend him like a bow,
With hat in hand and blandest smile
AS agents do. you know
She came; he jerked and pulled and tugged
And twisted in despair.
Made desperate effort-futile all
1t stuck as il grown there;
She stood in frigid dignity
And smiling scorn the while,
Although she scarcely could repress
A naughty, whitening smile;
But presently he found his voice,
Then frantically he spoke:
! crave your pardon, madame, I'm
The victim OF joke"
And as he backed himself a-down
Those steps with eager haste
He took his spotless handkerchief.
And mopped his sweltering face;
His swear-words were original
A list beyond define;
! thanked my stars he knew not then
The trick was one OF mine!
But what befell each one in turn
For all met hapless fate
fear 'twould weary you to read,
The writer to relate.
Suffice to say, they came to tea
Their hats they slowly dofi;
For every mothers son Of them
Had all their hair cut off,
Hannah NJ. kohaus, in Inter Ocean.