The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1890-04-02
HUM0R OF THE DAY.

The onion is a scentury plant.
II the peacock could see his feet he
would never brag of his tail
There is quite a difference between
being wrapped in silence and raped into
ilence.-DanSriUG Breese.
A man never knows he is fool, be-
cause when he learns that much he is no
longer fool. Washington Star.
AZ think we ought to have the fuschia
for our national flower" "Why so9"
'We have great fuschia before us
A sign on fremont street, Boston,
reads; "Fresh Eggs, 2s cents" Strictly
Fresh Eggs, 80 cents. ."-4merieaa
Grocer.
The gentleman who discovered that
his wife was putting her pin money in
the bank against a rainy day now calls it
her safety-pin money.-Neto York Nelcs.
A household paper tells how "to get
grease out of white marble" Petroleum
producers prefer to get it out of the
ground. Pttsburg Chronicle Telegraph.
= Perhaps the biggest bore of all,
Who most our temper sours,
Is he who says ''he has no time,h
But talks for three long hours
-Terre HdUte Erpresc.
First Physician-''Any unusual symp-
toms about that last case of yours2" Sec
ond Physician-"Yes, he paid me fifty
dollars on account yesterday. ."-Aunssy's
Weekly.
Hitherto Patient Boarder-"DIrs. Star
VEN, 1 can. stand having hash every day
in the week, but when on Sunday you
put raisins in it and call it mince-pie, 1
draw the line"
De Jinks-'It's sad that Goodfellow
absolutely throws his money away. Do
you believe it?" SwipesoH-"Well,
heard he lent you some last night. y
Paris Edition Herald.
'It is really astonishing what immense
progress the art of photography has made
these last years. Why, you really don't
know your friends pictures when you SEQ
them. ."-Fliegende Blaetter.
1t is estimated that 10, 900, 900 Euro
pean eggs were eaten in the United States
last year. Our people are good Republi-
cans, but they do have a lingering affec-
ton for the monarchical yolk.
"Do you want the earthG" inquired the
naughty hotel clerk of a meekly COM
planning guest" "No," was the reply,
'you can keep it a while longer TIL ask
you for il. - Washington Post.
She-'I am afraid, George dear, that
when you speak to papa, he may be very
angry" He-'I think not when Ishow
him this bank book" She-"Oh, George
Let me look at it first. - Time.
"Maria," said Mr.. Bronson at mid
night. $50 in to Willie and make him
stop blowing that tin horn. This is no
time for that" ''That's not Willie. It's
the new nurse snoring. ."-EpOch.
He stole kiss from an artless miss:
you're heartless thief" quoth she.
'rm 'heartless thief but you're the thief
That stole my heart" saith he.
Puck.
Merchant (after refusing an applicant
for work)-''rd like to employ you, but
you see how it is. Ihope you appreciate
the situation" Applicant-"I could ap-
preciate it better if had it."-4aasey''
Weekly.
SJeWafuesS--''- -ldttihi NO oeNSHNNN "
you the best l knew how, supplied
every want, but you are still unsatished.
What do you want now" Sea-slck
Lady Passenger-'I want the earth. y
Boston Courier.
Miss Trimount-"And to think that
after all these thousand of years, ther'
should be so much water in the sea
One would suppose it would have dried
up long ago" Miss Kornpakir-''Yesi
that's so. But then, you know, it has
heaps of salt in it, papa says the way
salt preserves things is wonderful.