St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1890-11-30

= as the immortal Meal
lister himself, aud can
coach the nouveauX riches, or relieve
the perpleXity of the popular hostess as
no hired secretary could do without
years of experience and special apti-
tude for the work. She has been en-
gagged in this peculiar business for fif-
teen years. The mysteries of card
etiquette diSentangleS themselves I'M
der her simple formulas. She knows
all about every wedding and the rela-
tionships brought about by such we'd
dlngS that occur in the gay world, and
these weddings are comparatively few.
she admits. when one thinks of all the
buds that are launched each season.
The same girls come back year after
year minated. The same bachelors
dance attendance season after season.
MS she attributes to the expense in
currea III keeping up a city establish
ment. Twenty thousand dollars year
is the very moderate figure she sets as
the necessary income of a man who
would maintain any kind of prominence
Ill the social world, and that is the mini
mum income. Few young men can Sc
cure this amount yearly, whereas for a
small allowance in comparison they can
live III handsome apartments. HoStesses
oAO why IOO Sldu 10 StCuIG IIl0lr
company at dinner parties, and
they receive most sincere welcome at
every festivity they honor with their
presence. For there is. even within the
gIlded pale, deplorable dearth of
young men, and eligible parties are as
scarce in the select 400 as in the coSmo-
poltan 100000 outside.
Every autumn when the gay butter
flies of Vanity Fair fit back from the
mountains and seaside, this lady goes
about from house to house making out
the address books for the year. She
knows all the people who have dropped
out of the whirlpool. the daughters who
have married and their addresses, the
deaths that have taken place, the
changes of residence. and ever so many
more things that a secretary would
never remember.
Then when the great crush of recep-
tons begin she goes again and addresses
the hundreds of invitations that some
times multiply into thousands. These
are the entertainments that try women'S
souls. Every woman has her own i'm
mediate circle of friends that she knows
all about, but when she wants TO give a
reception to wipe out all scores against
her, or one of her daughters is married
and no one must be forgotten at the
ceremony. even to cousins of the third
and fourth deScent,and friends not seen
for years, the groom'S friends as well
as the brides, then it is that the clever
woman is of ineStimaDle service.
Another bit of information stored
away in her sagacious head is a knowl-
edge of pushing people who persist i'm
sending their cards to people that they
do not know at all. and invitations to
those from whom they have never re-
celved the slightest recognition. All of
these cards and invitations she an
swers by simply sending in return the
card OF the lady who receives them.
bearing her name only, with no ad-
dress or day of receiving. This should
convince them that their advances are
distaSteful and will not be returned, but
it sometimes fails TO he understood.
Again, perpleXed lady with an i'm
menSe circle of friends will receive a
card having an unfamiliar name she
cannot find in her address book, and,
thinking that it is another impOstur.
destroys it, but the wise woman remem-
berS that the daughter of an old friend
of the family married a man having
that name. and bad breach of etiquette
is avoided. Another embarrassing sit
uatlon is frequently spared by her
timely memory of the death of some
person to whom she is directed to adj :
dress invitations, and ladies have given
her in the list of wedding guests names
of people who have been dead five or
SIX years.
People who entertain a great deal
have their invitations to dinners or re-
ceptions engraved III quantities, with
blanks for the name which the secretary
fills in as she addresses the envelopes.
Of these invitations only those for din
nerS and balls require an immediate an
swer, though punctilious people, espe-
ciallY of the old school. insist that every
courtesy should be acknowledged. A
church wedding containing no home adj
dress cannot be recognized but the
church wedding with the adj
dress should be acknowledged
by visiting card containing no written
message some days after the ceremony.
A wedding reception invitation should
be acknowledged, as is the ordinary re-
ception, by the visiting card delivered
OH the day OF its occurrence.
A wedding breakfast invitation must
be answered Immediately on receiving
1t, the same as dinner invitation, and
nothing but sudden death is sufficient
excuse for breaking either engagement.
A lady whose business cannot accept a
mate friend, and desires to present her
self, answer the invitatiod somewhat as
follows:
Mrs. Brown regrets that she cannot
accept Mrs. Jones' invitation to dinner.
owing to the absence of her husband"
etc. WhereupOn courtesy demands that
Mrs. Jones shall Immediately answer
that she will be delighted to receive
Mrs. Brown without her husband.
though Mrs. Jones ISM delighted at all.
However, this is only admissible be-
tween old and familiar friends, and
even then the thoughtful guest would
be inclined to refuse decidedly the invi-
tation rather than subject her guest to
the inconvenience of securing all escort
for her. Formal dinner Invitations
should be engraved and Informal dinner
Invitations written by the hostess, for
in this way the guest determines the
style of costume required.
All this and a great deal more of inter-
est the lady chatted about to the writer,
under promise of silence as to her
name, and in conclusion, said: 81
would like to preach sermon to young
men about their negligence in answer
ing dinner invitations. Sometimes
host has to pursue them to their clubs
and insist on reply, whereupon they
Will say that they had forgotten all