The intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1887-1891, 1890-09-20
The ARIZONA K
Good Things Taken from a Recent Issue
of the Great Journal.

of the Great journal.
Among the many good things in the
last issue of the Arizona Kicker we eX-
tract the following:
OUR GAIN - Monday afternoon an
italian with a dancing bear struck the
town, and half an hour later Colonel
Siderial Thompson, Assistant Register
of Deeds. awoke from a snooze he had
been enjoying in an armchair in the
Mighty West billiard parlors. When
the Colonel saw the bear dance he made
up his booty mind to have a waltz with
him. His friends called him off, but he
was ~pig-headed and obstinate and re-
fused to stay off. He suddenly jumped
in on the bear with a yell and a whoop,
and being new to our ways the beast
probably supposed himself attacked.
At any rate he set to work with teeth
and claws, and 50 used the Colonel up in
about three minutes that he died hat
night. The general verdict of the pub
lie is that his loss Is our gain. lie had
no enterprise as a citizen. and as a man
some of us would lave had to plant him
within Il few weeks anyhow.
SETTLED AT LAsr.-As will be noticed
elsewhere in the regular court Pr Oceed-
ings, the legal trouble between the
editor Of the Kicker and Prof. Mccall
has at last been settled and an amicable
understanding arrived at. The pro-
fessor came here about two years ago,
and being in hard luck, borrowed our
only Sunday shirt and fifty cents in
cash, and later on refused to either re-
turn the same or recognize our claim.
AVn nnatnI him 40 "a 6nn1 hnut and hp
sued us for $50, 900. We proved him a
bigamist and he fired two shots at us in
front of the ~post-otfice. We advised
lynching, and he was laid up for a month
in the attempt to horsewhip us. The
professor instituted no less than five
suits against us, and on several different
occasions planned our assassination.
Day before yesterday, while the pro-
fessor was Laying for us with a shotgun
at the poSt-oliice, he was run over in a
stampede OF mules. We were the first
to reach him and render aid. He was
carried to the Kicker Office in an uncon-
scious condition, and it was half an hour
before he came to. Mutual friends
seized upon the occasion to settle the
trouble. and their efforts were success
full. We now desire to announce in
italic that the professor is ar honest,
worthy gentleman, possessed of a fine
voice and well qualified to teach the
divine art Of music. On the other hand,
he subscribes for the Kicker, paying in
advance, of course, and advertises to the
extent of 81 per year.
APPLY TO II CDRoNER.-Just az our
outside pages were going to press Judge
Knight called at the Kicker Office and
invited us to ride out to Lone Tree with
him in his horse and buggy, and half an
hour later we were there. The boys
had preceded US, and we found them in
a circle around "Dr. Il. Il. Belinger,
late of the Royal College Of Medicine,
of London-the only discoverer' of a
sure cure for consumption" The doc
tor has been with us about a month,
claiming to cure almo st every thing on
earth, but after his remedies had
knocked over half a dozen citizens the
boys concluded that it was time for him
to drop out. He refused to drop. Hence
o committee called and asked him to
take a walk. He had taken the walk
and stood on a barrel when we caught
sight of him. There was a connection
: between the doctors neck and a stout
limb, and he was making a speech.
The doctor recognized us at once and
besought us to explain to the crowd that
he was in a hurry to leave the country.
He couldn't fly, but he would do the
next best thing. Although he had not
advertised with us, and he had given all
his iob-work to our contemporary, G
could not refuse his request. AS a per.
e sonal favor to us the boys, after letting
him hang long enough to insure a good
case of sore throat, cut him down, gave
him a nip of whisky and advised hin tc
go East. He went. The last we saw OF
him he was making such time as nc
ia~ck-rabbit in this country can ever
hope to equal. Any n having any
legal claim on los bottles of consump.
ton cure, together with a machine fol
making pills, two packs of cards and of
flee furniture valued at S5.25, will please
apply to our worthy coroner. While DR.
Belinger still lives to the world a.
large, there is no doubt that he is dead
to this community Detroit Free Press
"A singular wrinkle, which will b.
- appreciated by electricians, is given il
. an Australian electrical journal. A cor
respondent describes the visit of tn,
telegraph inspector to his station, ant
says that after a battery which had go
out of order had been fixed up, the in
spector asked for a little sugar. Ate
some demur the apparently queer re
. quest was granted. The inspector the,
began to wash his hands in the usua
= way with soap and water, but after rub
bling on the soap he added the sugar
md a nnOH In thnr tuaS n ~ I'D = IN @nl,, ,,o
duced. He said this was an excelien
plan when working with gne O
copper solutions, and completely pre-
vented the dlsagreeable dry feeling ex
perienced in battery work. The oper
ator confirmed this, having found that