The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1890-06-22
PRIVATE SIMMONS.

outbreak OF Mysteries IN Il girls SCHOOL. IL
starts without warning, generally on a hot
afternoon, among the elder pupils A girl
pipeles till the giggle gets beyond control.
Then she throws up her head and cries,
'.Honk, honk, honk," like wild goose, and
tears mix with the laughter. If the mistress
be wise she will say something severe at
this point to check matters. If she be ten
der-hearted and send for drink of water
the chances are largely in favor of another
girl laughing at the afflicted one and
spreads, and may end in half of
what answers to the lower sixth of boys
school rocking and whooping together.
Given week of warm weather, two stately
promenades per diem, a heavy mutton and
rice meal in the middle of the day, a GER
tain amount of nagging from the teachers
and some other things, some really amazing
effects can be secured. At least that is
what folks say who have had experience.
Now the mother superior of a convent and
the colonel of a British infantry regiment
would be Justly shocked at any comparison
being made between their respective
charges. But it is a fact that, under certain
worked up into ditthering, ripping hysteria.
He does not weep, but he shows his trouble
Enthusiastically, and the consequences get
into the newspapers, and all the good and
virtuous people who hardly know a Martini
from Snider say Take the brute's ammu-
nitionr'
Thomas isn't brute, and his business.
which is to look after the virtuous people, de-
mands that he shall have his ammunition
to his hand. He doesn't wear silk stockings,
and he really ought to be supplied with a
new adjective to help him to express his
opinions, but, for all that, he is great man.
If you call him ''the heroic defender of the
national honor" one day and "a brutal and
licentious soldiery" the next you naturally
bewilder him, and he looks upon you with
suspicion. There is nobody to speak for
Thomas except people who have theories to
work off on him, and nobody understands
Thomas except Thomas, and he does not
know what is the matter with himself.
That is the prologue. This IS the story:
Corporal Slane was engaged to be mar
ried to Miss Jhansi Mckenna, whose his
tory is we'll known in the regiment and
elsewhere. He had secured his colonel's
leave, and, being popular with the men,
the wedding what Private Ortheris called
.'eeklar." 1t fell in the heart of the hot
weather, and after the wedding Slane was
going up to the Hills with his bride. None
the less, Slane's grievance was that the af
fair would be only hired-carriaee wed
ding, and felt that the ''eeklar" of thai
was meagre. Miss McKenna did not care
SO much. The sergeant's wife was helping
her to make her wedding. dress, and she
was very busy. Slane was just then the
only moderately contented man in barracks.
All the rest were more or less miserable.
happy, too! All their work was over at
eight in the morning, and for the rest of
the day they could lie on their backs and
smoke canteen plug and swear at the
punkuh-coolies. They enjoyed fine, full
flesh meal in the middle of the day, and
sweated and slept till it was cool enough to
go out with their "towny," whose vocabu-
larry contained less than six hundred words.
and the adjective, and whose views on ev-
cry conceivable question they had heard
many months before.
There was the canteen, of course. and
there was the temperance room. with the
second hand papers in it, but man of any
profession cannot read for eight hours a
day in a temperature of 96 or IS degrees in
the shade, running up sometimes to 1O3 de-
grees at midnight. Very. few men, even
though they get pannikin of fat, stale
muddy beer and hide it under their
hours a day. One man tried, but
he died, and nearly the whole regi-
ment went to his funeral because it gave
them something to do. 1t was too earl,
for the modified excitement of fever o.
cholera. The men could only wait ant
W0Au anu WdlV, anu WdVCu WIG 6u0UOW "
the barrack creeping across the binding
white dust. That was gay life!
They lounged about cantonments-it wa
too hot for any sort of game, and almos
too hot for vice-and fuddled themselves il
the evening. and filled themselves to dis
tention with the healthy heterogeneous foo
provided for them. and the more they stoke
the less exercise they took and the more ex
plosive they grew. Then their temper
began to wear away and men fell at brood
ing over insults, real or imaginary. The
had nothing else to think of. The tone 9
saying ligh-heartedly, 'Tll knock you
face in, men grew laboriously polite an
limited that the environments were not bi
enough for themselves and their enen,
and that there would be more space fc
one of the two in place which it was nc
polite to mention.
It may have been the devil who arrange
the thing, but the fact of the case is thu
Losson had for a long time been worryin
Simmons in an ainless way. 1t gave hil
occupation. The two men had their col
side by side, and would sometimes spend
long afternoon swearing at each other, bl
Simmons was afraid of Losson and dare
not challenge him to fight. He though
Of the words in the hot, still nights, an
half the hate he felt toward Losson
vented on the wretched punkah-coolie.
Losson bought parrot in the bazaar ar
put it into a lutte cage and lowered Il
cage into the cool darkness of the we'll ar
sat on the we'll curb. shouting bad langual
down to the parrot. He taught it to ga
Simmons, you so-oor, )" which means swim
and several other things entirely unit f
publication. He was a big, gross man. al
he shook like a jelly when the parrot caug
the sentence correctly. Simmons, no,
ever, shook with rage. for {
the room was laughing at him
the parrot was such disreputable puff
green feathers and looked SO human VIII,
1t chartered. Losson used to sit, swingil
his fat legs, on the side of the cot. and a
the parrot what it thought. of Simmer
The parrot would answer: Simmons,
so-oor. Good boy" Losson used to Ga
scratching the parrots head; ''ye ear tn,
SimP' And Simmons used to turn ov
on ms stomach and make answer: II 81
those days.
In the restless night after he had be-
asleep all day, fits of blind rage came up
simmons and held him till he trembled
over. while he Thought in how many d
ierent ways hs would slay Lesson. Som
times ne would picture himself trampli
the life out of the man with heavy ammul
non boots. and at other times smashi
m MS face with the butt of
xine, and at other times jumping on /
shoulders and dragging the head back /
tne neck-bone cracked. Then his mou
would feel feverish and he would rea
pannikin. -
Bat the fancy that came TO him m.
feequsntiy and stayed with him lone,
80 one connected with the great roll
AT under LoaS0L's Yi~hx so "A. 80;