davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-12-05

maniacs could he infused with enough
patriotism to quietly fall asleep he,,eah
j the daisies and give woman c.n.ce to
/! find out her own mission. the probabili-
ties are that snch q course would prove
| decided advantage to ell parties con-
cerned.
When l hear some popular lecturer
devote two hours and half to the solu-
ton of this problem. think to myself,
MY learned friend, If you were at home
attending to your own business, your
wife would less ardently cherish de-
sire to plant flowers on your grave"
The most popular theory regarding
this question is, that woman's sole mis-
sion is to stay at home and cleanse the
countenance Of some embryotic states
man, who, bless his sweet soul, is the
very image of his pa. 1t is likewise her
divine prerogative to coax blaze in
the kitchen stove while her lord and
master sweetly shores the snore of the
blessed.
There is another class of men, who
hold tenaciously to the creed that
woman's mission is not to take ,ln active
part in the material things of this life,
but to rule all men in an abstract man.
ner. That is, it is not in her province
to wear laurels that have been won at
the point of the bayonet, but to so exert
her will that she may say to this man:
Come" and he cometh.
Others say that woman's mission in
life is to love and be loved. This looms
up on paper. As theory it is not to be
downed. But when it is called on to
supply the hungry mouths with their
daily bread, it falls like Lucifer, never
to rise again." When man argues that
love is the sceptre of universal power
and that woman should sway it, and
then goes home and gives his wife jessy
because the biscuits are clammy, some-
how 1 lose confidence in the species.
When man courts his best girl, he
changes ends with his character as
though it were pair of soiled cuffs;
while she, poor girl, fondly hopes to
skim over life's wave like snipe over
frog pond. She is his sweet wild rose,
his peerless Maria. After the ceremony,
Maria becomes Molly and the liege lord
of the establishment raises hades on
every possible occasion. am inclined
to the theory of evolution. Ged created
the ancestral aye, and by aud by the
progress of civilization demanded q
second edition, and thus we have man.
The Psalmist sang: Who is man,
that anybody should be mindful of
him?" A revision being called for,
woman was the result. Boast not thy
self, old man, for women is but revised
edition of yourself. Have care how
you slight this browning jewel OF created
beings, for one who knows has said:
Hell knows no fury like woman scorned."
-TeG0s Sifti,ags.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-12-05
What MoustacAes Toll.

There is great deal of character in
the moustache. As the form of the up
per lip and the regions about it has
largely to do with the feelings, pride,
self-reliance, manliness, vanity and
other qualities that give self-controi.
the moustache is connected with the
expression of those qualities or the re-
verse.
When the moustache is ragged and,
as it were, flying hither and thither.
there is lack of proper seif-control,
When it is straight and orderly, the re-
verse is the case, other things, of course,
taken into account.
If there is tendency to curl at the
outer ends Of the moustache, there is
tendency to ambition, vanity and dis
play. When the curl turns upward
there is geniality, combined with . love
of appreciation; when the inclination
is downward, there is more sedate
turn of mind, not accompanied with
gloom.
II is worthy of remark that good-na-
tured men will, in playing with the
moustache, invariably give it an up
ward inclination, whereas cross-grained
or morose men will pull it obliquely
downward.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-12-05
Wt.-WearInr l,ussian women,

A stranger in New York recently oh.
served scores of women whose hair was
jet black and pushed off their foreheads.
Each head was partly covered by o silk
handkerchief knotted under the chin
and secured by huge gold pin. The
faces of the women were yellow and the
eyes lustrously black, with heavy eye
brows and lashes. Some of these
women were old, others scarcely twenty,
but each wore a band of gold on the
third finger of her right hand. They
We're Hebrews from Northern Russia.
1t is one of the customs of this race for
married women to wear wigs, no matter
how beautiful their hair may be. They
do this in accordance with an old Gus
tom which teaches them that wife's
charms are for her husband alone, and
woman's hair is considered one Of her
greatest charms. Unmarried girls
never wear wigs, but just as soon as the
words making hera wife are pronounced
she dons her wig and never removes it
except in the privacy of her own house,
to please her lord.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-12-05
OUR LADIES' COLUMN.
A DEPARTMENT MEN ARE NOT
EXPECTED TO READ.

The Wig Wearing Mania Among Russian
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS Made by Women
"A Women's Idea of q Woman's Mis-
"A Stout Woman's Dress-About Girls.
Compositions, so.called, are not writ
ten for amusement, but are sometimes
amusing. Here, for example, is what o
school boy has to say about girls, ac-
cording to one of our exchanges:
Girls are very stuck up and digniied
IN their manner aud behave themselves.
They think more of dress than any,
thing, and like to play with dolls and
rags. They cry if they see COW in the
far distance, and are afraid of guns.
They stay at home all the time, and go
to church on Sunday. They are always
making fun of the boys hands. and they
say, show dirty"
They can't play marbles. pity them,
poor things. They make fun OF boys.
and then turn round and love them. I
don't believe they ever killed q cat or
any other thing. They look out every
night and say amt the moon lovely 2"
There is one thing have not told, and
that is they always know their lessons
better than boys.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-12-05
The wild Indian at College.

9. A. Eastman, says the Boston Ad-
ve,'tiser, the young Sioux who gradu-
ated from the Boston University School
of Medicine, is we'll known by all grad
yates of the last few years. He came
on the campus" in the autumn of 1888,
and at once proved star attraction for
the freshmen class of 1887. Football
snssss, r ssa snsy 'SsfsPsfesEy vigorous
ones, too Fastman's indian blood at
once asserted itself, and he was always
in the hottest of the fray, where his
great strength and courage we're very
valuable. The sophs acquired hearty
respect for him in these little scrim-
IMAGES, and always acted as if they were
afraid he might suddenly go into the
wholesale scalping business. And
when the great final cane rush came
off, aud the freshmen stood in solid col
umns, barred to the waist, and bodies
we'll oiled, awaiting the onslaught of
the sophomores, Eastman was in the
front rank with shoulders cleaning and
black eyes full of fight. Eastman had
his full regalia of Sioux chief at COL
lege, and sometimes lie would invite ii
boys into his room and don his featl. ors
and buckskins to the great admiration
Of the humble freshmen who Wee al
lowed to attend the ceremony. The
old fire of the plains would rise, and he
would get enthusiastic in telling of his
many thrilling adventures. Finally
the exhibition would lead up to fierce
warwhoop, and then the meeting would
adjourn. The Young Indian had all
the self-possession Of his race, and he
could enter any parlor in Hanover with
perfect eauanimity. Society" had no
terror for the child of the plains.
Though not ladies' man he could face
any battery of feminine eyes without
the least embarrassment. When Mat
thew Arnold was at Hanover he ex-
pressed desire to meet Eastman, as he
had been told there was full blooded
Sioux in college. The great critic evil
IDENTIFY expected to see something OF the
wild west order, with war paint and
moccasins. When the two came to-
gether the calm dignity of the student
so overcame the learned Englishman
that he stammered and blushed and
came off decidedly second best in the in
terview. Eastman is now going back
to help his people, and he carries with
him the good wishes Of many friends in
tha East
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-12-05
Gowns For stout Wonen.

Why is it, we wonder, asks fashion
writer, that stout women almost invari
ably wear tight fitting gowns? 1t is
really mistake. However sweet and
lovely is the face, if one sees portly
bust and large arms, and-to say the
least-rounded hips, all sheathed in
perfectly fitting, glove-tight dress, ones
attention in spite of ones self is at
tracted by the smooth surface, and the
wonder arises which is the vulnerable
spot in armor? And if burst occurs,
what would be the result? Whereas,
if the same beautiful, gracious face sur
mounted soft drapings of material ar
stistically s. arranged the embonpoint
WOufd ON the cOnIIaryi aoo onEnlUS w y
tall figure. .
ID The thin woman certainly has her adj
vantages, for she can pad and model
the figure to any required standard.
Still there is the inevitable law of COM
Jensation, and her stouter rival has
generally the sweeter face. Therefore.
deat sisters who grieve over increased
weight, remember your advantages, aud
do not soil your beauty by tightsqueez-
ing and smooth fitting. The fat beauties
of the East who were so renowned,
would not nave been beauties if they
had discarded The flowing Eastern drap-
cries and donnel tailor-made gown.
The manifest incongruity strikes you,
does it not, at once? And it is precise
ly the same in our own CASE What
might have been soft and attractive
and alluring trenches and inappropri
ate crossing almost on the ridiculous, if
the wearer is really very much inclined
to embonpoint.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-12-05
NIo,lern women Who soar.

The most notable advances made in
recent years have been by women.
They have risen so rapidly that there
is danger of them coming down like the
stick that goes up with the rocket.
Women are not like they used to be.
In some respects the change has been
for the better and in some it hasn't. An
cid bachelor writing on this phase of
the subject says: Things We're differ
emit when we were boys. In those dis
tant days women were mostly angels.
Nowadays women are mostly journal
lists, clerks, tyrewriters and medical
students. The male person thinks it
is better to be an angel than medical
student; but the ladies do not care a
bit what the male person thinks. At
least SO they say, and it would be rude
to disbelieve them. When we were
boys the girls were all anxious to get
married. Nowadays they are too proud
to get married, and too highly cultured
to take babies seriously. What they
want is to get divorced. When we
were boys the girls used to stay at home
and darn our socks and sew buttons on
our shirts. Nowadays the girls ride on
the outside of buses, and look angry
when male persons smoke. Not long
since an advanced lady tumbled off the
top of bus into the street and got
some mud on her frock, and the male
rersons said it was Judgment on her
fer not riding inside. That was rude
and unsympathetic on the part of the
male persons" The probabilities are
that women will continue to soar for
some time to come, and may even at
tempt to establish petticoat rule in
Church and State, as we'll as in society,
but the result will be as it always has
been heretofore. In course of time,
however, they will come down and
agree to make fair divide in the duties
and responsibilities of life. This may
not occur for half century or more,
but it will come by and by. Let her
soar, and let her reign and rule to her
hearts content. She will tire of it
sooner If you let her have her own way
than if you fight her. She loves man
too we'll and is too proud of the man she
loves to tyrannize over him very long.
When she does return to earth she will
probably settle down to housekeeping
and home building.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-12-05
That Reunion.

larson Program-Cheer up, Brother
Bangs! The loss of your wife is indeed
a ssdsaffiiction, but remember that this
pairing is but temporal. Think of the
Joy and satisfaction Of meeting all our
loyedTones again!"
Brother Bangs Violently affected
Thsts just it, parson; her first hus-
bard may now be enjoying his reunion.
Chicago Mall
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-12-05
Native Genius.

"Dear me!' an old gentleman of this
city exclaimed to his son, show in the
world did you ever manage to get
SO deeply into debit"
"To tell you the truth, father" was
the reply, Il don't know exactly: I
think it must have been native fnan-
cial genius. "-Washingto1s Post.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-12-05
He Couldn't Find 1t.

kind SIR" said seedy individual,
"can you lend ten cents to man who
lost all his money in Wall street?"
"Tell me about il" said the interested
citizen, passing over quarter.
"There was hole in my pocket"
answered the applicant, turning to go,
sand the nickel I had dropped through"
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-12-05
Like Some Bank stock

Lummix-I don't think that young
Cubbage's fiancee is ut ali good look
ing.
Skimgullet-No; but she owns $780,
900 worth OF real estate.
Lummix-Then her real worth is
much above her face value.-Chicago
Inter- Ocean.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-12-05

N.lhart fuho sees the o.sA gentleman's
shadow)-Of course I disobeyed nv
father in going fishing, but when he
finds out thst have taken nice string
to Mr.. Cuttley, think he'll not chide
me.-.71Ldpe
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-12-05

TIE Chicago rattan-workers have
struck. This does not, however, refer
to the city school ma'ams.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-12-05
He Saw.

Kin I do anything wild a pusson
VINO calls me thief?" he asked, as he
stopped a patrolman on Beaubien street.
lam afraid not.
But amt that agin my character
Yes, but suppose you went to law.
AMI the other party should come into
court with the feathers?"
What feathers?"
Chicken"
HIM! I see! I reckon, I hadn't
better pay any tenshun to that pusson's
remarks. He doan' dun amount to
nushin', anyhow!"-General MANAGER.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-12-05
AGrandmother's Opinion.

Eddie Grandma, my dancee has re-
Gently put $50 into gold thimble.
Grandma-You'd better marry one
that often puts her finger in . silver
Weekly.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-12-05
Womsn's Mission.

Ever since the creation, men have
been trying to discover woman's exact
mission. If majority OF these mono
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-12-05
A Warn, Receptio,,.

"You must have been given a rather
warm reception" said the merchant to
his demoralized collector.
well, rather. 1t was combination
of fire and toe, SO to speak,"
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-12-05
She Wouldn't Be Co,nforted.

T Arscy story is told of an old lady
who refused to be comforted by her
pastors assurance that when he left her
she would have better pastor as his
successor.
@Na, nal" she said. IT have seen
Sour:een changes in the ministers since
! attended the kirk, and every ane has
been Haur than anither."
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-12-05
Matdenly Amenities.

Nabel-What a perfectly exquisite
nef bonnet, deArest!
+ thel=O, I'm SO glad you like it. ]
way afraid yo.. ..
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-12-05
SUPERINTENDENT
ISSUED FROM THE PENS OF
VARIOUS HvMoRISrs.

Pleasant Incidents Oocarring tho World
- Over-Ssyings that Arc Cheerful to tho
Old or Young-Jokes that Everybody
Will Enjoy Reading.
First City FatherSHere's fine look
ing street.
Second City Father-You're right.
What's hest to be done with it?
First City Father-Let's have it dug
up for a sewer.
Second City Father-But wouldn't it
be proper to pave it first?
First City Father-Of course. sup
posed that you understood that. Then,
after it is paved and sewer put in we'll
have it repaved.
Second City Fasher-All in readi-
ness to be dug up for gas pipe? I see
you understand the principles of mu.
nicipal economy. And after we have it
repaved for the second time, then
what?
First City Father-WeIl, then, it will
be in order for widening. There's moth
ing 1 admire so much as system in the
care and improvement of cur roadways.
Boston transcript.
Correct but Unexpected.
1t was at dinner in Chicago. The
invited ministers were deploring the
fact that the catechism is but little
studied by the children of the present
day. In this the hostess differed from
them saying:
ut is not in our house. james has
Just received prize for perfect rec
itation of the catechism, and even lit
tie johnny is beginning to learn it.
johnny, tell the minister, "What is the
chief end of man?"-
The little fellow addressed had been
too intent on an unusually good dinner
to hear aught but the question directly
addressed to him, and was, perhaps, q
little annoyed at the interruption, for
he replied rather impatiently.
II don't know, but suppose the one
with the head on -Christiaaa Union.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-12-05

Scribe-What does Haker write for
your paper?
Scribbler-He's on the editorial force.
Scribe-That's funny!
Scribbler-Why?
Scribe-Because your paper has no
editorial force. StatiOner.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-12-05
The Walking Delepate.

Who is that indolent looking person
over there by the cigar counter?"
That is walking delegate"
Indeed! Well, he looks as if had
nothing at all to do and does that
poorly"
"Yes, he does look as if he had little
to do,5but he is hard worker, never
thelsss. He works knights. Ed
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-12-05
Didn't Suit.

Mother-WelI, did you get that stu
alton as office boy?
Little Son-Nope.
"What was the matter?"
"Don't know. The gent is a lawyer,
and he asked me if was good whist
Ter, and told him I was the best
whistler on our street, and he said I
wouldn't do. Guess he must want q
reg'lar professional. Ne,0s.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-12-05
New Burglar-Alarln

Wife Suddenly awakening)-Hark!
Horrors! What's the matter? Fido is
way down stairs, yelping as if he were
hurt What's happened to the little
dear?
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-12-05

Miss Johnsing-Doan' squeeze me,
Nose; mammy's lookin'.
Ir. Yallerby-Well, doan' dat show
/ nean business?
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-12-05

Mabel-sure? o, perfectlyl I al
wavs did adore that shape. Why, 1
had three just like it-when it was in
fashion.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-12-05
Chollx,s Mistake.


@Why, daughter mine" said the old
man, coming into the parlor where Alice
and young Cholly Pastyhead were sit
ting, "come over to me! It's long
time since I held you last" And he
took her on his knee and embraced her,
while young Cholly looked on, wishing
he would get out, SO that he could have
his turn.
"It's long time since I held you"
continued the old man, fondly, "and
you're getting to be quite plump. 1
declare. you're good armful, now!"
This was Cholly's chance to show his
smartness by keeping still. But he
didn't. He had to blurt out:
"Yes, isn't she, thought"
The old nan was seen down street
next morning, pricing bull-dogs.-La1c-
renee american.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-12-05

Lecturer-A very quiet one.
Friend-No snorers there, Ell?
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-12-05
Lying ii, Weight.

Husband-I threw him at burglar.
.Ns,0 York Weekly.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-12-05
Who's to Blame?

Wife-Horrors! Our daughter has
eloped with your type-writing young
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-12-05
A Quiet Audience.
YOU have?

Friend-What kind Of an audience di,
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1890-05-29
Practical knowledge.

The following Oration was handed in
by small boy, who evidently has
some pronounced opinions, and is in
tended for his weekly speech tomorrow
afternoon. He evidently has been hav-
ing some practical experience of the
subject treated:
"a school ma'am is verb because
she denotes action when you throw pa
per wads at the girls. Switch is con-
junction and is used to connect the
verb school ma'am to the noun BOY.
This is compound sentence of which
boy is the subject and switch the OBJ
ject. First person, plural number,
bad case. A school ma'am is different
from boy, boy wears pants, and a
school ma'am wears her hair all banged
up on the forehead. She puts paint on
her face and big fellows come and take
her home. Ma says a school ma'am
never gets to be older than eighteen
until she gets married. 1t takes two
school ma ANS day to cook dinner"