Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1890-01-09

APcuhNh - AZ INV hhEaAfot DOhps
Matilda, that you have never married
Mat,ldo-"No. | leave the management
OF all nv money matters to my secre-
tary "--Epoch
Plantation Philosophy-In life we
ouRhtUr rioolleck div faok One word
spoke erRin er man has mo- weight den
FIVE words spoke in his praise. When
VIC believe dat we KANT do enough fur or
man we're mighty APP ter do too much
fur him.-Ark;aasdD Traveller.
Toiamy-ssI'm going tell ma you
pushed NC oVeFbogrd.n Little Jphanie-
"Yon'i bettor not Tommy -"She'll
lick me il / say fell over" Little
Johnnie--".IhAt's what you'd better tell
her II you pu: the blame on me I'll lick
you and I'll hurt you mere than your
mother will."--LjJ.
0tiarlv sergeant --"Ycur name {" Re-
crnit--ti Bsck9tein.n 0. S-"Your busi-
nessY k.-Uo-assistant at the Gytn j.
logical Polytechnic" o. S.-"WhAt :?
Weil, PASS slong hut II by to morrow
you caa't find soma Dizziness that can
pronoumce, III hnva you put in the lock.
up FAiegentl. Batter.
Miss Psnpyquiek (rsferring to fu-
neral from which Bhe nos just reiurned)
And, oh, tnG, su9h . beautiful eieRy
tho minister had for the caaaSion = Mrs.
Pennyqqick (miBtGkipg tbs almsion)--
"0l, Aliniry, cant | never teach you ter
be more p rite? You dane we'll tor spell
the word ont ani my J, o, b, instead OF
leg, 5nt YOU'D GnRlter say limb every
time. ~ X. SUI.
Feeding hers "a coz il tho hopa that
they will become E-ick -layats iB most
unreliable vst,iure. pnera are people,
al@ever, who eaHll he putguaded to take
sack ii ocHipsny organized for the de-
valopment Of that industry, and II it
failed to fail In six munshs, it might be
sold out A. . rrntit TO some English syn
dioate.-N. I Commercial digsstiSsr.
From Mutesn Novel. --'sTn and fro
he naaegt in the room, NJ and dawn, oai7
nov aud tAer, without knowing bow or
WY, he rat down in ths chair, richly or.
pRmented aSoya aud below. and tossed
bera snG thern. Fr1n time 70 time he
lifted his head md Rtrokai back apd
forth the cray hgir which fell hither and
th!ther on the brow over and over flasply
stamped with Ines of caxe. FEtegtMi e
R3Ittsr.
A writer on the Chicago Ginbs. who 70.
Gently moved into a new boarding house,
says: About O'Clock tha morning
was awakened by yigoroussuopts Of Hes
q liat An! And he Is perinrer, q
psriurer He is o malignant puatule !,
He is q wart nt humanity =" The writer
adds that he discovered the sounds 10 he
y rehGarsal by tho big !swyer for tho
defence in the Oronin case. "--NeD York
Tribune.
A Washington teacher read Der pupils
q short IatiiHn story. anl eskad III. mean
ing of s',omahaws Only ono timid
hand went no. well. Johnuy, what il
tomahhws Z" "a tonllhaWk, MISC
Mamie, is some kind o. bird, believe. 4"
"Why do you think it is bird?n "Be.
cause il IL = hawk, snl you sEid it flaw
by the bay,s heaa.' lnuocence forever,
and down with tha 4Bay Scent OF Dead
Mans Guloh - Washington Pest
"Gooinass gracious Y exclaimed Mrs.
( DuhibYane, when she read in the editorial
column OF newspaper: "We now send
to England every year no lens than
twRntv million dollars to pay fer fin
plate" Then, turnins TO hsr husband,
sho aeked: "What under tho canopy,
William, does an editor do with SO much
tin plats?' II don't know" was the
reply, "uniess he uses il on his patent
iaaide-iin. plate matter, az it were."--
| NMriat01oa Herald
One of The numerous and miscellaneous
''only genuine and original" tattooed
girls in museum not many railss from
TIRE Bowers, il faithfully declared to be
Is years old (aha locke IT, q 1t Ia fur.
tasr R9sevsrated that the cuti11lar adora.
riant of her person was executed when
she wos All irtant. Yet the most coz
sB,cuoGs features OF the teIurnentnry
panorama Is likeness Of Liberty En-
tightening he World, IS sean on Bed.
lows island.
Johnnia knew il all Wife-John, here
| ia something IN this baEe- ball report that
! do not understand. | wish you would
explain it TO me. Husband Read it, my
dear. Wife (reading) with one to tie
and one out, he reached first in tbs
| eighth inning, and ran to third on
Pfefer's hit to right. He should have
scored on Tierpan's wild throw in, bui
became ratified and held his base.n What
does that mean? Husband (wbo knows
nothing OF tbs game) BLESSED If know
! Wife with bigh) IN have to wait
mt! Johnnie Csix years old comss in.-
Boston Courier.
Yes" said the salesman, athess goods
are OIL wool, fast color, full width ami q
the very best quality" ''And--er, were
the sheep fed en- hay or turnups ?" asked
| the shopper, timii little man; land
wcra thsg all owned by the tame man oil
4 al thy come from different folds r.
"!'m sure | don't know" replied the as
| tC.iahed salesman, Pm sorry for that, Y
| said 40 timid man, moving awaf; "oi
I course don't care; but my wife will be
I grre to esE me, and l shouldn't like IA
/ take IL homo unless l conla answer all
\ questions, No. guess wont take II.
l.st her come in herself. y Boston Tran
script
4 Clergyman @. this city likes 10 tell Q
story OF his experience In apbnrhBn
/ chRrrh Enns years siaca. He was Ia
( Preach m exchange, and so was little
anEiauq . hay thin7a go smoothly. The
| pastor had LEFT written order OF service
fer him, but he noticed that it contained
no reference to an organ response after
| the @lopp prnyePn So he called the
asnd sexton 10 the pulpit and asked him
what followed the praror. The sexton
corida't remember. "Dossa't tsa orcen
4 have anything to 60 ~ asked the
preacher. "Gh," said the aaxton. II
be ieVa the orgsu does give fow notss,
4 Just enough TO lake If the effect of the
pcayss ~ R3sto1t Recjrd.
Two Bangor ynnng men have returned
home ffom a hnutins trip about Whitney
Fridge, bringing with them pair OF
locksi horns, which thsy obtsined from o
! hunter in that region. The hunter, in
prnwling through thu woodH in search OF