Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1890-01-03
MR.. AND MRS. BowsER.
BY MRS. BowsER.
Da-rni- Faa Prsss

In! les. ne groWIed as L nudged
him
Mr.. Bowser, get up!'
YUM Lemme lionel
Mr.. Bowser, | am in great pain!''
Eyes. know.
Twill you get up:
''Whaz mazzer now?" he demanded as
he tried to sit up in bed.
Il am threatened with pleurisy"
Hey Who is it?''
Il am threatened with pleurisy and
do wish you would get up and mix mus
| tard plaster for me.
You just lie quiet and the pain will go
away.
He dropped back and began to snore
again, but after ten minutes hard work
got him out of bed He sat on the edge.
staring blankly into vacancy, and ready to
fall back any moment, and even while
was telling him that might not live till
morning he fell over, kicked himself I'M
der the clothes, and went to sleep while
was pulling his hair.
A night or two later, just after the bells
had struck II, | dreamed that was being
chased by locomotive. 1t gave an extra
toOt and awoke me, and | discovered that
toot to be Mr.. Bowser' voice groaning:
For the lands sake get up or l shall be
dead man
What is it?''
Terrible cramps in my stomach. I'm
just tied in knott
'Oh, it's only passing pain, " Ireplied,
as sought the pillow again. Lie still
and it will soon go off. -
Lie still thunder be yelled as he got
one leg out of bed. Il tell you | shall be
a corpse within an hour if | don't get
rel eff
''Well, you'll find the Jamaica ginger
on the side-board. Take big dose of it
in wine
I'm never fndit! Oh! Heavens, what
a pain!'
wanted to get up. of course. but was
determined to pay him back in his own
coin. therefore apparently fell asleep, and
after banging around the room for a few
minutes he went out. He was back again
in three minutes, however, to exclaim:
Are you going to lay there and let me
die like a sick horse?'
But you didn t get up for me-
Il know it, but that was because Il
whoop! Blue blazes, but know I'm dy-
ingr'
had to get up ofcourse, and, of course,
had him relieved in a quarter of an
hour. Man-like, he was frightened to
death at a pain which he would have ex-
pected me to keep perfectly still about.
Mr.. Bowser is also like all other husbands
in another matter. We got started for the
theater the other night and | discovered
that had forgotten my opera glasses.
He offered to run balK for them, and |
said
They are hanging in the bag on the gas
| jet on the left hand side of our dresser.
Yen can't fail to find them
Five minutes slipped away-then ten
then | hurried back myself. He was
seated in chair in the hall, hat and over
coat off, and as | opened the door he
growled:
Might as well take off your things!"
But why?''
1--WE are not going to any theater this
night"
Not going Has anything happen
ed?"
Il should say there had I've looked
| this Internal house from top to bottom fOr
| those glasses, and they are not to be found
Well put in our evening trying to dis
cover whether they are up in the garnet OF
| down in the vegetable cellar.
Mr.. Bowser, | told you where those
| glasses were
They are not within forty rods of it,
Come up stairs.
''NO use. If they are even in youI
room I'll buy you five million silk dress
es!''
Come on!''
He followed after, and there hung the
bag just where had told him he would
| find it! | looked from one to the other
and Mr.. BOwser finally said:
Il see how it is. You'll probably say
you told me to look here instead of the
| spare bedroom dresser Take off your
things, Mrs. Bowser-we don't stir a foot
outside tonight"
One night when baby was sick l got Mr.
Bowser out of bed to get the paregoric
After great deal of yawning and growl
ing he marched off down stars, and fo1
the fifth time told him:
81 remember to have placed It on that
bracket over the lounge
| heard him thrashing around and
knocking about in the sitting-room. rum,
maging in the pantry and upsetting chairs
in the kitchen, and after about ten minutes
he appeared at the foot of the stairs and
shouted:
I've looked the consumed house all over
and can find 1t!
Il told you it was on the bracket"
Il know you did, but it ism t there"
Sure you have looked?"
''Do You take me for an IDIOT"
"Well, I'll come down"
| went down, walked him to the bracket
and there sat the bottle before his eyes.
But it WASH there a minute ago he
protested. Il looked the bracket over at
| least five times. and know I'm not blind.
Mrs Bowser, there are some queer happen
ings about this house. think it best we
sit down and have some straight talk
One day at noon he wanted me to tighten
button on his overcoat. and | sent him
up to my room to get the box of thread
and needles.
You'll find it on the sill of the bavwin-
dow, where left it half an hour ago" |
cautioned as he went up stairs.
| heard him prancing around and slam
ming things about, and after seven or
eight minutes | went up to ascertain the
cause of delay
He had pulled every bureau drawer out.
taken down most of the garments in the
clothes-press. and was then overhauling NV
jewelry case.
I'd like to know if there was another
"pllldI Inc YOU III DtlEOlI. he exclaimed
as | appeared.
You came up here for the thread box,
didn' t you?'
"Of course | did"
And | told you it was on the sill of the
bay window"
But it -"
pointed it out to him. and after chang
ing countenance and swallowing a lump he
braced up and said:
Mrs. Bowser it is time to quit this
tomfoolery. You are too old for such girl
ish tricks. Next time you try to make a
fool of me I'll ask you to select such fur
niture as you want and settle on the amount
of alimony!'
Kite Flying in Lapland.
In making meteorological observations
in Lapland, Mr.. Tromholt. author of
Under the Rays of the Aurora, had oc-
casion to send up balloons and to fly kites
of which he had number. These were
object &c interest and wonder to the ma
tives. and the scientist was led to fly them
for amusement. as he relates.
When discovered that even the most
primitive of fying-machines. the kite.
was unknown to them. decided 10 make
one larger than myself. on which
painted two enormous staring eyes terri
bic to behold it was delight to these
children, great and small, to see it scar