, 1890-06-29

81 AN nov ABLE TO KEEP A cow"
In the first place, most Of US removed
to Staten Island in order to get out O
the city Of New York and Its tcmpta
tons, and we do not desire to have the
noisy town follow US to our lair with it,
civilization and its sewer gas. For in,
stance. l am now able to keep a COW,
and every night with a wild onion
scented breath she winds slowly DER the
lea. II New York should be annexed
to us an alderman would milk her proba,
bly, on her way home, and soon also heI
sweet breath would disappear. At first
she would seek to deceive me by eating
cloves or catnip on the way home. Then
gradually she would lay aside all reserve
and come up at a late hour, getting into
the corral with great difficulty, accompa
MED by a jag.
This COW | am especially proud OF, and
/ may truthtully say that she has led a
comparatively blameless lite thus far.
That is, it would be SO regarded in a
large CITY, | mean. She is as simple as a
buttercup She has almost constantly
communed with nature and has never
smelled a gas leak in her life. What she
would do if we were to become an
eighty-seventh ward of New York city /
do not know.
Many of my friends also keep goats.
NJ. Tucson Kelly, 4 neiRhbor of mine on
Airyetty street. says that he has a new
mich goat that was born on Staten
Island. and has never yet seen an eie
waited train. He SAYS hs would hate to
see the noise and c~ussedness OF a great
CITY creep in aud usurp the place for our
bon homme aud dirt roads.
Possibly" adds M. Tucson Kelly, OF
Airyetty street, Tomcatsyille, Il may do
the better classes of New York city a
great injustice, for folks tells me that it
is not the best classes that comes over
here on Sunday to play ball and escort a
large oxydized jag home at night; but
from what we see we form an idea that
our relations with South and East New
York might become strained at most any
time if we should become Ward 81 OF
the city"
Mr.. Robert Craig, Of Rossville, q deal
er in fresh laid cucumber pickles and en-
bryo hens, says that he hopes we shall
not be compelled to restore to the de-
pleted treasury of New York City and
help pay for the elevated sidewalks on
Manhattan Island while we have got over
eighty square miles of green country,
fresh from the hand of the Creator,
where the soprano song of the thrush
mingles richly with the rumbling bass OF
three story high stoop brown stone front
creep stealthily into my truck patchp' he
succinctly asks, and no one yet has sue
cessfully replied.
Mr.. Craig says hat the first man who
attempts to build a ten story brick block
on his premises will have to do SO over
his dead body. He says that it may be
all right for Brooklyn to join New York,
because the feed for stock is poor there
anyway, but when Wall street gets to
running to his well to water its stock it is
time to call a halt.
1t is urged that we would have a larger
police force on Staten Island if we were
a part of New York city, and that has
done a great deal to build up the opposi-
ton to annexation, | think. That is one
good thing now about Staten Island. She
is almost free from the encroschments Of
that bsne OF civilization-the police.
Three policemen on week days and -four
on Sundays surround Richmond county
with the clutch OF a giant, aud any out
break or disorder outside of the hospital
IS a thing almost unknown, or ii finally
known of, it is so late that the matter has
already blown over.
l claim that corruption ought TO come
on q town gradually. IL ought not to be
let loose like a C~onemaugh food without
notice. Staten Island has a iarr start IN
this line, aud as she grows her political
corruption will 20 doubt keep pace with
her growth; but it is tough to turn loose
the veteran cussedness OF an old and ia
nous metropolis on the fresh and dew
laden districts. where the gentle jay will
at once fall a victim TO the lust and rapac
ity of the versatile and accomplished me-
~tropolitan felon.
What would a horny handed a%gricult.
urist like George William Curtis or Eras.
tus Wiman or Willie Winter do if, while
he happened to be b~ugging his potatoes
OF salivating his squash vines, the legisla
ture should suddenly turn loose upon the
Island, a horde of accomplished he sirens
with staccato voices to WOO the pure pat
riot from his disagreeable aud poorly paid
path of rectitude?
What would | do?
/ am almost sure that | would fall 1
would fall with an ear piercing plunk. Al
most every tire | 70 over to New York
now | do something or other which, in the
light of cooler reasoning and far away
from temptation / can zee was outre and
and almost dishabille.
No, we are not ripe. Mr.. Editor, for
city life. We would run right down if
you should take us of grass and feed US
on ground feed and rich victuals. Limo
leumville, Sossville and Perth Amboy feel
just as | do about it II the Legislature
makes us a part of New York city we will
have to stand it, l presume, and help pay
for s~choolhouses. county line roads and
gopher scalps on Manhattan Island from
that on; but l know | voice the senti.
ment OF a man here who writes a good
deal for the papers over the 10 de plume
Of Taxpayer" and several other we'll
known writers both at home and abroad,
when ! say that the Great Spirit gave us
these lands. and we shall oppose the pale
face who comes to US with smooth prom.
little children.
We do not understand the vays of tn,
mJefsce from New York.
Yet No will accept our destiny, what