Wichita eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1886-1890, 1890-03-14
find you fattened out, perhaps TO develop q
case of yellow fever or srYlallpoxn

find YOU fattened out, perhaps 10 develCp .
case of yellow fever or smallpox
Mr. Bowser goes tramping around to find
fault with his supper, with the cook, with the
baby, with the furnace and with everything
else which he happens TO think of, and the
evening is rendered very cheerful and happy.
Ii happen 10 be looking down the street
when Mr.. Bowser gets OF the car / can tell
whether he has headache CIR not. He comes
slumping along. arms hanging down, eyes on
the sidewalk, and as open the door far him
he growls out:
''Lernme git onto that lounge As soon IS
possible
Why, what's the matter!n
I'm next door to death.n
Have you been hurt, Mr. BovserI'
''No Got a headache Whole top Of my
head is loose. think am dying!ar
help him OFF with his coat, get him on TO
the lounge, pull OF his CATERS, tuck him up.
and then can't help saying: Didn't tell
you so."
''W-what!'
you've been careless again You sat in
your office with your feet out of the window,
or you held chunk OF ice on your lap or
you stood in puddle of water in your bare
feet It'sa wonder 20 Inc tEat any man lives
to the age OF 80
"Oh-o-o-ohln he groans.
That's it! Got the black plague or the
Asiatic cholera hold OF you, probably! was
going over 20 Mrs. Cato'S tonight to pro-
greSsive euchre, but this spoilS it all. Iii
have three doctors up after tea, and have the
ambulance come at the same time
Then Mr.. Bowser sheds tears, and I go and
heat brick for his feet, tie n towel around
his head, send baby up stairs and stop the
clock SO that nothing may annoy him.
No husband is ever TO blame for any ac-
cident about the house The wife always
is. Fer instance, q water pipe down in the
basement burst the other day. Mr. Bowser
got home Just as ] was about TO telephone
him.
Pipe busted Who busted iti' he shout
ed, as he pulled off his overcoat.
why, no one"
YES, they did, Water pipes don't bust
without help! Some of you have been knock
ing on that pipe with hammer"
/ went down and showed him that the leak
was at point where none of Us could pos
sibly reach it, but he replied:
'Well. some of you are certainly TO blame
for it. That's the way-the minute leave
have a plumber around hero for a week OF
more, with bill of forty or fifty dollars.p
But Mr. Bowser goes even further than
this sometimes. One day high wind blew.
down portion of the back fence, end when
he came home he stood and gazed at the
wreck for moment and then turned On me
with:
''Well, what less could have been ex-
pectedF'
"What do you mean. Mr.. Bowserln
'Oh, it's all right You just keep on and
zee how you will come QUIT"
''But did l blow that fence down, Mr..
Bowserfn
"Did II You were here all the time You
say it was the wind, but where are your
proofsl Why didn't you wreck the barn
while you were about itF'
And one evening when he came home look
ing out of sorts and asked if anything was
wrong he snapped me up with:
Boil coming on my leg"
''That's too bad"
"Yes-um-I understands
"What do you mean. Mr. Bowserr'
"Never you mind. You keep right on and
ZEE where you will end "
But am | TO blame that you have a boil
on your legl'
ITS all right. Mrs. Bowser; ! can see
through mill stone as far as the next man"
Mr. Bowser, you don't mean 10 insinn--
That's ali right. Just keep right away
from me! have long had my suspicious, and
this confirms them. III look over my ac-
counts tonight and have a plain talk with
you in the morning Detroit Free Press.