Smyrna times., 1890-07-23
A New Field for Stanley.

toI nlIy years IL mas Deen the prov
ince of the Tribune to combat the pes
simistic idea that the world is not ad
vancing. 1t has steadily held that
man is not constantly pressing on in
the right direction-that we live in the
dawn rather than in the twilight OF
human endeavOr and human accom-.
plishment. 1t seems possible that to.
day we stand on the threshold of an
other important discovery. Henry M.
Stanley is married. May it not be pos
slble that the greatest living explorer
the man who gave us Uijibwai, Hun
Jldorl and Upsidaisi-may yet succeed
now that he is married, in finding a
woman's pocket? ? The task is great.
but who dare predict that he will not
accomplish it?
If the average young man with no
experience in either direction were
given his choice between finding Md
dlddlediddle, Interior Africa, and a
buttonhoOk in the pocket of a black
dress hanging on the third hook on
the right hand side of the back closet
he would select the bu.tonhook and
strike out boldly and fail. In this, as
In many other things, Stan
ley has shown himself to be no ordin-
ary mamie went after Niddiddledid-
die first and found it and now he has
come back to teach us how to SMELL
African names and perhaps to under
take the other task. 1t is a task.
which we suspect, comes sooner or
later to every married man. The wife
OF his bosom stands-Or perhaps we
should say sits, since the statistics
show that nine out of ten women sit
on the floor to put on their shoes-she
sits, we say, helpless, with two hair
pms and a safety-pin in her mouth.
and directs her husband to proceed
to the closet and get buttonhook
which is in the pocket of her cashmere
dress. He, good, easy man fastens on
one cuff and goes like a lamb to the
slaughter. He searches for the first
ten minutes in silk dress instead of
the cashmere. Then, with copious di-
rectlons and explanatory notes from
the floor, he locates the right gown.
hanging, as he was told in the second
place, On the third hook, right-band
side. There it hangs, limp and limo.
cent He puts his hand in what he
cOnceiVes to be the pocket and gradu-
ally dives deeper, till he is surprised
to see the hand with fingers spread
wide apart emerge from the bottom of
the skirt. He says nothing but re.
news the attack. There are in an or
dlnary dress, between thirty and fortv
places where this operation may be re-
peated, and as there is no way of dis
between a canyon which
has been explored and one which has
not, the ordinary man will 20 down
each five or six times. Perhaps he
becomes impatient and something rims
ana ne is rebuked from the floor. Now
comes his severest trial. He feels the
pocket with its buttonhook, and hand
lerchief, and letter from his wife,s
nothre, and receipt for sponge-cake.
md half dozen samples of dress goods
Ind two hairpins, and receipt for cur.
ant jelly, and other trihes indigenous
o the locality-he feels it, we repeat
rom the outside, and fOolishlv thinks
lis task is almost ended. Alas! What
worm of dust is man, especially un.
Ter these circumstances. 1t were bet
er for this man that he stood in Africa
earching for Napplejak near Bogstie
'ogstie, which places, as every intelli-
'ent student of the Dark Continent
,nows, are over three thousand miles
part. Finding the pocket book on the
utside, means - nothing. 1t is no
lew to the entrance. The weary
y
Oung husband searches on. his work
by his wife, who still has
he floor. Reason at length topples
n her throne. He pulls down the
nohending gown, hook and and all
lie utters a wild cry and tears the
elpless front breadths from the unre- !
stIng back drapery. Shreds of black
ashmere fly through the startled air {
he illusive pocket strikes him on the i
ose, still he cannot get into it. Then |
ne wife comes and rescues the gar S
lent with tears, but firmly, puts her
ana IN the pocket at the first move +
nd the young husband retreats down c
airs covered with shame and ignom- /
~. :
we nave attempted in few words a
sketch an experience which every a
arried man has had. Need we saw U
lat no such man has ever yet found a f
'oman's pocket Has the feat been
1t for the great Explorer of Darkest a
trica We trust so. But ne must be Il
repaired for failure. Though he has t,
'curately mapped the country of We'll o
rarebiti, stood by the dark waters of f,
ie Ubetji Nyanzi, laid bare the mys- Il
ries of the Annyy Roonzii Forest and a
arched from Bluebosh in the west to ft
lltzehat in the east, still may he meet
s Waterloo in the pocket of a black
ess on hook.-N Y. Tribune. is
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