The Sunday herald and weekly national intelligencer., 1890-09-28

interview a few of the tramps on the Potomac
Flats, and then come back and tell THE SUNDAY
HERALD readers some new and original facts
about tramps in general. AS the poets would
say, my efforts were worthy of better cause
My knowledge about tramps has increased con-
siderably - subiectively, MS the philosophers
would say-but effectively, I'm afraid have
hardly learned enough about them to enlighten
our readers beyond that degree of intelligence
born of experience, which suppose they have
already attained.
10 begin, then, a trampis bipcd. | suppose
the name suggests that he is some kind of a
ped, but natural history has decided for
all, conclusively and finally, that he is biped.
Personally learned this fact later on in my
interview, and in the future when | see many
of them together will remember the fact, and
remember also that am one.
The first trampI met as | struck the flats was,
suppose, picket. He was asleep and alone,
so suppose he was picket. 1 didn't want to
wake him up, and if 1 had it to do over again l
wouldn't wake him up, but l didn't see him as
he was lying in the bushes and l fell over him.
He was an ambitious tramp, and he didn't like
the idea of a wak-over, so he got up and swore.
BY a fortunate foresight had borrowed little
brown bottle. | knew tramps liked things
like that and, as forewarned was forearmed, |
was ready for this tramp. He concealed con-
descending smile as he took it in his hand, and
swallowed descending smile as he put it to his
lips. | threw the bottle away. l hadn't any
further use for it. | then asked my
newly awakened acquaintance if he could
direct me to an encampment of pedes-
trians, as had heard there was such thing in
that vicinity. He was an accommodating tramp,
and together we approached the camp. Iwon't
describe that camp. Some time when | look
over my waste-paper basketin which keep the
productions of my literary brain l might find a
description of it, and | want to forget it. 1t
was diapidated, terribly dilapidated.
As we approached a clump of bushes my
friend told me the tramps were enjoying their
al-day siesta and maybe we'd better not wake
them up AS was without my bottle thought
so too. | found one tramp woman and as |
always prefer to interview woman when |
want to fill space by the column l began to ask
her about the habits of the tramps. She told
me they hadn't any habits they slept all day
and went around all night looking for work,
and SO they didn't have any habits. l then
asked her if they ever found any work at night,
and how they were paid for it. She said of
course they found work. and they were paid in
live stock-chickens generally. l asked her if
she liked this kind of life, if she wouldn't
! rather live in house and be rich and be some
| body's wife and live in style.
"Be ye noospaper man?' she asked in an
| unappreciative tone Of scorn at this question.
g 'Cos if ye air YER the darndest wan liver
seen. Akin of me whittier wuddin' rither be
somebody's wife, and, be jabers, I've been some
body's wife off an on for the past thirty years"
"Whose?'' l innocently asked, taking out my
peacil to make memorandum on my cuff.
Whose? Why Jimmy Flynn's and Johnny
Sikes's and Patsy O'Rourke's and Tom Haw-
kinss and"
''Yes, yes" interrupted. ~ beg your par
don,'' and, disappointed in my cherished hopes
| of getting down to the bottom of the hearts of
these poor neglected wretches, turned sadly
! away and wiped tear out of the corner of my
/ eye. As did so | trod on the wrist of another
! tramp who was asleep, and he woke up with
| thoroughness which would have made the for
tune of my inventors if l had been an alarm
| clock
"What in the hill air ye doin' Git off my
wrist.n
l begged his pardon and politely stepped off
his wrist into the grass AS result of this ac-
cident found the whole camp had been awak-
ened, and the various members now stood
around me in varying degrees of sleepiness and
inverse degrees of anger until 1 began to get
scared. just at the right moment my friend,
the picket, stepped up and said:
Ladies' and gintlemen, this ginteman
come over here to put US in his paper, so
! be on yer good behavior. The question is
whittier or not we shell Civ i'm permission to
! publish things about us.'
"CaucusrF "Meetin' ~ "Chuck him in the
riyer" and other cries sounded in wild con-
! fusion, until though ought, in the interests
of peace, to interfere; stepping forward /
held up my right hand, and in that deep, still
voice the poets write about l said impressvely:
''Pe-e-ace, be still"
/ ''My Lord it's my old friend, Elliott F. Shep-
ard of the New York Mail and Express; he's a
newspaper man and he's quotin' Scripture
yelled one old antideluvian, religious-looking
tramp, as he burst from the crowd and grasped
my hand. "Elliott you're lookiu' younger
even than ye was when you an me went to
school together. | wish I'd stayed religious in
stead of goin into politics. You remember
me, don't you, Elliott?n This last query, in an
| eager tone of voice, | felt to see If my
pocketbook was still by me,
/ was willing to let this victim of political
life believe me to be our esteemed contempo-
rary, Mr.. Shepard, and was spared the pain of
telling him was not by the vigorous manifesto
tions of activity displayed by some of the other
tramps, probably the floor committee.
"Mr. Prisidlnt, ther amt no quorum prisint,'
announced one member Of the brotherhood, who
had been counting the roll on his fingers.
"That's all right; Well proceed with our bust
ness,' firmly announced the president, as he bit
off nine cents worth Of my ten-cent piece Of to-
bacco that in fit of misplaced confidence had
lent him.
"Reg'lar orderr' "Speechr r' "Tyranny %
'Rats p "Reg'lar Tom Reed !'' were some of the
yells jotted down on my cuff while waiting for
the uproar to calm down.
FThat's all right, you Sam Bennis,' he said,
pointing to my political friend "If / am Tom
Reed, want you men T. understand l amt no
reed to be shaken by the wind-I think that's
Scriptur'-sO the sooner you men shut up bowin'
the better. What's the business !'
They then decided that l should ask all the
| questions | wanted didn't want to ask many.