davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1890-05-02
His Boots Had Alreaay Durned

Innkeeper-Sir, you will soon burn
your spurs.
Traveller who is standing very near the
frel-You probably mean that l shall
soon burn my boots.
Innkeeper--No, sir. Your boots We're
burned some time ago-Journal of Ed
ucation.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1890-05-02
His Ogcuuatian.

Poor womas! Have you no husband
to help you earn living"
Il have a husband, so called, but he is
deeply engaged in something else"
"Of what nature
Trusting in Providence. Chicago
Times.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1890-05-02
The SPRING Medicine.

The popularity which Hoods Ssrsaps>
rilla hos gained as spring medicine is
wonderful. II possesses just those ele-
ments of health-giving. blood purifying
and appetite-restoring which everybody
seems to need at this season. Do not
continue in dull, tired, unsatisfactory
condition when you may be SO much benz
fitted by Hoods Sarsaparilla. 1t purifies
the blood and makes the weak strong.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1890-05-02

Sympathetic housewife Ito ragged
tramp): Poor man, your garments are
sadly frayed. Tramp: Yes, indie d, mum,
'traid of the dnrn
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1890-05-02

Before getting into the swim" man
should be reasonably sure that he can
keep his head above water.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1890-05-02
J7s f f0nest Ooctor

le my friend have been praccing profession
studied this
am frank to that Swifs Specific which have ever
found Tor this hyraaled called
consequences eliminate
the time builds of patient causes good nneie
and digestion and the whole system discarded the
Old potash and mercury and sal
disease Tor another and later Of
Have used S S in tan remarkable success
WILEY QUILIIAN, NJ. d Easley : c.
te S"ls SPECIFIC bad
great pleasure I saying perfect producing
have ais" tllei II other resi-
j. r. YEtION, NJ d.. Tlap, Tex
Treatise contagious blood poison male free
o.y.,,... SWIFT SPECIFIC CO. Atlanta, Ca
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1890-05-02
THE TRAVELLERS GUIDE.
TRAINS.


CiIICAGO, ROCK ISLAND Il PACIFIC SAIL.
~ way-Depot corner Fifth avenue and Thirty
fT.t street, q. IL Skelton, agent
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1890-05-02

A matchmaker ought not to feel run
down when his affairs are wound up.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1890-05-02

A paper called the Watermelon has been
started in Colorado. 1t Is only supposed
to be red on the inside.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1890-05-02
Mlzss
MlZNzUKEE7
s0 SzRzu I

FAST NJ ALL TRAIN with Electric lighted end
steam heated Vestibuled trains between Chi
cago, Milwaukee, ST. Paul and Minneapolis.
IRAN AN-CoNTINKNTAL ROUTE with Electric
nghted and Steam heated Vestibuled trains be-
tween Chicago and Council Bluff, Omaha or
81. Paul and the Pacific Coast.
GREAT NATIONAL ROUTE between Chicago
Rsnsss City and ST. Joseph. Mo.
800 MILE OF ROAD reaching all principal
points IN Illinois. Wisconsin. Minnesota. Iowa.
Missouri, South Dskots and North Dakota.
For maps. time tables, rates OF passage and
freight, ETC., apply to the nearest station agent
OF the Chicago. Milwaukee q ST. Paul Railway, or
to any railroad agent any where in the world.
ROsWE ELL MILLER, A. V. II. CARPENTER,
General Manager. Gen1 Pass. q 4. Agt.
U-For information in reference to Lands and
Towns owned by by the Chicago. Milwaukee Il
II. Paul Railway Company. write to ii. q. Hau-
gen. Land Commissioner Milwaukee. Wisconsin.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1890-05-02

BURLINGTON ROUTE C., b. & Q. RAIL
~ way-Depot First avenue and Sixteenth St,
VI ]. Young. agent.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1890-05-02

DOCK ISLAND h PEORIA RAILwAY-DE-
LII pot First svenue and Twentieth alreet F
II Rockwell Agent
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1890-05-02

rHICAGo. MILWAUKEE ~ ST. PAUL. RAIL
~ way-Racine & Southwestern Division-De-
pot Twei tieth street between First and Second
avenue. E. ID. W. Holmes. agent.
The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1890-10-03
No Flag OF Truce.

1T was the closing day at Fred
ericksburg." says Gen. Kershaw. when
man by the name of John Kirklan
came rushing into headquarters and
said: General. can't stand it any
longer Referring to the wounded
Federals lying in front of our breast
works, he said: Those poor fellows
yonder are crying for water-they are
perishing for water-and came to ask
your permission to 60 out there and
carry them some
"Said /; .Kirklan, YOU know It
would be almost certain death
"tYes. said he, but win risk II for
humanity's sake
81 don't think ought to give you
permission to co. said /, but / was so
struck with his heroism that let him
go. He gathered some canteens, filled
them with water and went over the
breastworks. He got few steps and
came running back; / thought his
courage had failed him, but he came
to me and asked If he might put up
white handkerchief. Said /: No,
Kirklau, we don't propose to use any
flag of truce on this OCCASION
He got his canteens and went over
the breastworks again and went about
from man to man giving the wounded
water. AT first the enemy fired at
him, but as soon as they saw his pur-
pose they stopped, and he remained
out there until he had given water to
every one of those poor fellows. At
tG1atd Constellation.
The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1890-10-03
ExterrnInntinR Rnta.


The best course to take, when the
exterminntion OF u colony OF rats be-
comes q necessity.is 10 make them help
TO destroy one another In the following
manner says the G0rfiAiH Magazine.
number of tubs. proportionate TO the
quantity OF rats In the place Il Is de-
sired 10 rid of them. should be placed
about the middle of each occupied by
brick standing on end. The bottom
OF these tubs should be covered with
water TO such depths that about nm
inch OF the brick projects above II.
The top OF the tub should be covered
With stout brown paper, upon which a
dainty meal Of bacon rind and other
scraps dear to the rat palate figures
q sloping board giving the rodents fa-
cilities for partaking or IL. The feast
should be renewed for several nights.
50 that all the rats In the neighborhood
may get 10 know OF the good food
which Is placed within such easy reach.
When IL Is judged that this policy has
been pursued long enough, the center
OF the brown paper should be cut IN
such manner that any rat yenturing
upon 1t will be precipitated into the
cold water below. IL might be thought
that the result Of this would be 10 cap
tnre rat, or at the most two, for
every tub prepared, but no such
meager reward for the trouble that
has been taken need be feared.
The first rat to find his trust abused
and himself struggling In the wa
ter Mt the bottom of tub soon re-
covers sufficiently from the shock to
ascertain that there Is n little island
OF refuge, onto which he chambers aud
squeals his loudest for help. Now.
the squeal OF n rat in trouble attracts
everyone of his kind within hearing,
and very few moments viii elapse be-
fore the victim of misplaced confidence
Is sjoined by one OF his friends. The new
conner is as quick 10 discover the
chance OF escape from a watery grave
that the brickotfers as was the original
victim. but when be attempts to avail
himself OF its presence il becomes APP
parent that there is not room for more
than one upon Il. The first conner re-
sists with tooth and nail the efforts OF
his companion in trouble to disnossess
him of eoign Of vantage. and the
squeals which form an accompaniment
TO the tight for n footing upon the
brick attract more rats 10 the scene of
the tragedy. The conflict wakes more
and more furious as rat after rat top
pies into the water, and by morning
bedraggled eorpses in plenty will
gladden. the eyes OF the man whose
losses at the teeth Of rats have induced
him 10 adopt this means Of thinning
their numbers. Some years ago the
plan described above was tried In a
city warehouse. with the result that
more than 5000 rats were destroyed
in single night.
The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1890-10-03
Give the Boy a Chance.

We mean your boy. the little fellow
you left at home this morning when
you started for tho store or Office
Don't forget he has wants. as real and
tangible TO him AS yours to you.
Remember he Is no more born
saint than you were. Aud if you Just
reflect little you will he ashamed to
think how far from it you were. Don't
forget him as soon rs his s'good-by
papa fades away behind you. Didn't
he ask you for something? a jacknife
or hammer or new slate or some
pencils or something or other? If you
love your boy and wish to show him
that you do you might better forget a
business appointment down town than
forget his request.
If he asks you for something Your
better Judgment says he should not
have, don't be content with simply
ignoring the boys wish. but take the
time and trouble to explain your
reasons. Boys. even pretty little ones.
are quicker than you may think to see
a point. Always give reason for re-
fusal of his request, even if it is the
one you too often give, that you can't
afford it. And be. careful how you
give that reason.
1t he has lost or broken his jacknife.
and asks you for a new one, don't
scold him. Albeit you may give him a
little lessonsin carefulness. but don't
tell him you can't afford to give him
ten cents for a new one andthen before
you leave the house pull out your cigar
case and light ten-cent cigar.
The boy will be drawing invidious
distinctions before you know it
Business Cbrontcie
The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1890-10-03
The Oceans "Under-row." !"

Doubtless we have all heard a good
deal about this ''under-tow,n as though
1t were some mysterious force working
from the recesses of a treacherons
ocean to draw unwarv bathers to their
doom. As matter Of fact its presence
is obviously natural. and the explana-
ton of it more than simple. As each
wave rolls in and breaks upon the
beach, the volume of water which it
carries does not remain there and sink
into the sand; it flows back again, and,
as the succeeding wave breaks over 1t,
the receding one forms an under-cur-
rent flowing outward of strength Nro-
portionate to the body of water con-
tanned in each breaker. and, again,
proportiouate in a great measure to
the depth of the ditch Where this
latter is an appreciable depression, it
can be readily seen that the water of
receding waves will flow into 1t with
similar effect of that of water going
over fall, and that person standing
near is very likely to be drawn over
with it, and thus, If the ditch is deep
enough. carried out of his depth.
This Is all there is to the much-talked-
of ''under-tow" and the numerous ac-
cidents laid to its Du6feld
OSBORNE, ia Scribnerss.
The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1890-10-03
DeracIng a Counterfeit nm.

l happened to be In the United States
sub-treasury on Wall street the other
day, says N. Y. Star gossiper, and
was rather amused at little incident
witnessed. A gentleman entered,
and. approaching one of the clerks.
handed him a $50 bill and asked IL 1t
were counterfeit. The clerk took Il,
went away. and in few minutes re-
turned and handed out the bill without
a word. Cut across It's face with a die
was the word Counterfeit The
rage of the owner knew no bounds.
.Confound you'll" he shouted. al
didn't ask you to destroy the bill. 1
simply asked you to tell me IL 1t were
counterfeit. It's worthless now"
1T never was of any yalue,n mildly
responded the clerk, 'and the rule Of
the department is that all bills offered
in this way must be defaced when
counterfeits before returning them to
the party presenting them.s
Now that. remarked the examiner
to me, 'is an almost daily occurrence.
A man gets counterfeit bill passed on
him and, being in doubt, he comes in
here to ask about it. aud 1t is DESTROYED
for him. He is naturally indignant, as
doubtless he gave value for 1t and
would like to have a chance to pass il
off on some one else. But the law is
Imperative on us and we must destroy
all such bills under penalty. II that
man had taken his bill to a bank 1t
would have been returned to him o.
r.. but he made the mistake of bring
Ing 1t here. The national banks are
supposed to deface counterfeits as well
as the treasury. They seldom do it,
however-perhaps not one case out of
100. They are afraid of insulting q
customer"
The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1890-10-03
The Fooslixht Fever.


TEL ne; me- q Tras goal little one. what would
J took ihe beautiful baby girl and held her on
What cod like 10 bcSs hIie lIspesl. and she
looked like nu infant sage.
100 won't toll nobody never. nowY wants
10 go on the stage"
WHIST y your aim. oh Sweet sIxteenS'' and
the darling fntrnured; well.
I've no objection To answering you, OF course
yOu mustn't tell
fon know that elegant leading man. whom MI
the girls ndOre2
Let me play opposite parts 10 him, and III ask
FOR nothing morei"
Madam. your, dninty home TO me paradise
She was q pearl OF wonanlood. welded n dozen
years.
"oh. yes,, We'd Fet on well enough" she said
~ with Kind of sigh,
III he'd let me net. but he SAYS I shnu't and
Ill do IL or I'll dle.s
whit DO you wlshs'' blnndly asked OF an old
And withered dame.
Who hobbled ia v ith my laundry work. She
was bent and a tFihe lame.
" ~, boss. yuu see she answered me. my
works too hard by fMr;
It's "A positive fact that can act and ia like
20 be q star"
Edward r. Kidder In N. Y. Press.
The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1890-10-03
An IncIden. a. Sea.

Sometimes on board an Atlantic
steamer an incident occurs which
causes human Sympathy TO bridge for
an instant the gaiI between the first
cabin and the steerage. AS when, for
instance. on the first day of May \
young married woman in the steersge
became the mother of tiny girl. and
in mid-ocean the passenger total was
suddenly increased by one.
Great was the excitement among the
children in the first cabin when they
heard there was new baby in the
steerage.
Its such long way for an angel
to fly without resting" exclaimed
Phyllis. aged six. to Lillian. aged four,
that they don't often bring them to
ships. But 1 s'pose he just felt like
coming, it was such lovely moonlight
night"
Il wish the angel had brung 1t TO
me-" whimpered Lillian. III heard the
doctor tell mamma that the mother
who got it was only little girl"
Don't cry, Lillian,n says Phyllis.
You know Polly, our stewardessp
Well. she says it's awful pink, and
they're going to call it Mayhower. Isn't
that nice7'
TN. nlyT SAYS Lillian. Lets get
a lot of presents, and go ask the COVER
ness If she won't borrow it and let us
baptize it,
The baptism is postponed. but pres
ents arrive, and from all quarters.
Flannels, wine, bonbons. aud toys find
the mother and child in the steerage
hospital. The toys are perhaps a little
premature for miss Just three days
old. But the children who send them
refused to be denied the pleasure of
giving. and the prudent grandmother
carefully puts them away against the
time when they will be needed.
The hospital nurse. a comely Young
woman in neat black dress, crisp
apron. and dainty lace cap, holds the
little mite on the pillow by the proud
young mother while the ship rolls and
tosses, and the artist, braced against
the doorway, sketches the sympathetic
little group for Hayper's Weekly. The
hospital is neat and ship-shape, but
very small. While the artist sketches,
the happy father and doting grand
mother stand outside, and vainlv try
TO moderate their delighted smiles.
They are all going to visit the old
home in Scotland, and the grand
mother explains that although iittle |
lis a wee bit bairnie moo,
she'll aye be bigger coomin' back
Minnie Buchanan Goodman, in Hdrper's |
PePkIgy
The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1890-10-03
How to Use Glue.

All the glue as received from the
factory requires the addition Of water
before u will melt properly. and every
addition of water lwiiie the glue Is
fresh ma'le) Will up Ia 4 certain point.
increase the adhesiveness and elastici-
ty; and II Is the duty Of every man
who uses glue TO find out just where
the point lies, as II Is possible to melt
glue and have il so thick that after Il
Is dry or set II will be so brittle as not
to adhere to the wood. Some CLUES
will bear more water than others. ac-
eortling 20 the Manufacturer and Built
sr. but all will bear more than usually
falls to their share. ansl that. too. with
greater increase in the quality of the
work For glue to be properly effect
i've 1t requires 10 penetrate the pores
Of the wood and the more n body OF
glue penetrates the wood the more sub
stantial the joiut will remain. Glue
that takes the longest to dry Is to be
preferred to glues that dry quickly
the slow-drying CLUES being always the
strongest other things being equal.
For general use no method gives such
good results as the following: Break
the glue up small. put into an iron
kettle, cover the glue with water and
allow il to soak twelve hours; after
soaking boil until done. Then pour
into an air-tight box; leave the cover
OF until cold; then cover up tight. As
glue is required cut portion and melt
in the usual way. Expose no more OF
the made glue to the atmosphere for
any length of time than Is necessary,
as the atmosphere is very destructive
to made glue. Never heat made glue
in pot that is subjected TO the direct
heat of fire or lamp. ALI such methods
of heating glue cannot be condemned
In terms too severe. Do not use thick
glue for joints or veneering. In all
cases work IL well into the wood in q
similar manner to what painters do
with paint. Glue both surfaces of your
work, excepting in the case of veneer
ing. Never glue upon hot wood. or
use hot cauls to veneer with, as the
hot wood will absorb all the water in
the glue too suddenly and leave only
very small residue, with. no adhesive
power in IL.
The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1890-10-03
skipped a Cog.

was waiting at the railroad depot
at Cairo. ILL.,. and fell in with a young
farmer and had quite n lengthy chat
with him about agricultural matters.
We took the same train and got into
the smoker. and we had scarcely left
Cairo when a young man sat down in
the seat facing US and began to throw
three cards about It was the old. old
game. and / smiled In contempt.
Not so with my acquaintance. how
ever. He was at once Interested. and
when denounced the game as a swim
die he replied:
Wei. dunno about that. | believe
1 kin pick out that keerd.-
IL wasn't three minutes before he bet
70 that he could. and he won. Then
he bet sl0 and won. Then he bet so
more and won.
You were born lucky said the
sharper. Don't you want to raise your
., Il guess So I'll go you SIS this
Iexpected TO see him lose, OF course.
but he won. and as he did so the other
uttered an oath about rod long. and
put up the cards. I saw that he was
greatly perturbed. and said:
What's the matter, old mansr
That's what I'd like to know nv.
sell. he angrily exclaimed. I'm no
professional; I'm farmers hired man.
About two weeks ago a chap came
along and offered to show me how
70 work this for $25. took IL in.
This is the first time I've tried it in
public
And you are about hundred dol.
lars outs"
Exactly. Hang me for a WALLER
calf. but the durned machinery has
skipped cog. blown ont fiue. broke
piston rod, or bust biler ON me
somewheres. and I'm so near dead
oroke that can't raise ehaw of to-
bacco. | orter known better. Kick
my shins If ever did have sense
enough to burglarize haystack, aud
here I've gone broke and made a fool
OF myself TO bootiH-N Y. Sun.
The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1890-10-03

His Advice 90 . Hired Fighter 20 90 90
Grass valley ana Prospect.

Hard stories are told OF United States
| Senator Fairs liberallty lP) aud meth
DDS. and the old miners OF the Com
stock often get back at him la this
way. His crafty under handednesa.
ignorance. craving for enviable no.
torlety aud like characteristics form
the groundwork for these warns. of
which the following OF local favor Il a
sample.
One ~ Uncle Jimmy'ar--hc was
Uncle Jimming" among the miners
admirers among the sagebrnsh peas
antry was Pete Fitzgerald Though
unknown 10 fame IN California, Pete
was as renowned on the lode In his
day rs Peter jackson. or Senator Fair
now h throughout the world. He was
a ''hired iighter" In the time when the
mines up there were worth lighting
about. A hired lighter. 1T should be
explained for the enlightenment OF the
tenderfoot. was bohemian OF the pistol
who for f20 day and the assurance uf
protection from the annoyancea OF the
law. was wont To lend himself his re-
yolver aud the terror OF his name 10
any employer. When n hired fighter
had In professional way put man
or two underground he was given tu
nent claim on somebody. One sunny
afternoon. about ten years ngo, Pete
offered his hand to Senator Fair In the
Virginia City postollice. and II was
shaken cordially. There being moth
Ing doing In the lighting line. Fltzger-
aid asked for work In the mines of
which Mr. Fair was In control.
We'll. Pete. /" said the senator. In his
friendly way. ''ye see Two nothin' 10
do WI the mines here moo. The SUI
pcrintendents an foremen run things
list ms II they owned them, an care
no more FOR what l say than II was
yerself.n
by Jupiter" growled Fitzgerald,
I've got to get work al something or
I'll starve. sure,r
"Prospec,in's pretty good" suggest
eel the senator Il think ye might
60 prospectin' Pete
'Where?s
oh. over Grass Valley way. I've
no doubt there's many a good claim to
be found in that old country yet."
.'All right, senator" cried Fitzser-
aid Frightening up. but I'm dead
broke. How am 10 get therePr
Well, said MIR. Fair with nndimin-
ished cordiality. but making move 10
leavei well. the watkins pretty
gootl .
With heightened color. but In man
ner MS calm rs IL he were on duty Ia n
disputed drift. Hired Fighter Fitzger-
aid reached forth his right hand. caught
Mr. Fairs nose between his first and
second hngers and gave il twist that
nearly took il of.
So appalling an outrage was OF
course, not spoken of by the Comstock
press. but some irreverent journalist
teiegraphed the news TO the San Fran
cisco papers. Then. 10 the astonish-
lshment of Virginia City. a card.
signed by Fitzgerald. appeared. stat
ing that there had been no nose-tsyist-
ing and that If Peter had a friend In
The world whom he adored Il was Sem
ator Fair. When asked in private
why he had done this the hired lighter
was wont to execute slow wink and |
pat his pocket ia an absent-minded
way.
The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1890-10-03
Cures for Obesity.

The number of nostrums for the re-
duction OF obesity which have been put
upon the market during the last two
months. said the manager of an upper
Broadway drug store, is almost with
out limit Here. for instance. are four
remedies. all designed for this particu-
lar ailmeut. aud every one of them
has been turned into our hands for sale
within the month"; He placed two
bottles. a pill-box. and tin can full of
powders iD a row on the showcase.
They were all incased in neat wrap-
pers, and every one of them had a
name which suggested corpuiency. but
did not use the word fat ..AII OF
these remedies. said the old druggist
quietly. ARE claimed To be made of
special ingredients. but they are moth
ing more than EPSON salts in one form
or the other. We never recommend
them. but we have to keep them on sale
owing to the steadily increasing de-
mand for all medicine of this sort. 1t
is not that they are especially deIeter-
ious. They simply have the same
weakening effect that EPSON salts have
if taken every day for month or two.
Naturally they reduce the weight, but
the flesh comes right on again as soon
as the salts are stopped. Yon can I'M
agine the prices the public pay for
these things when you reflect that our,
profit on this bottle of stuff Is so cents
II is sold for 81. and I have no doubt
that the manufacturer clears 30 cente
an every bottle ~ i. Sta.