davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-08-08
Hospital Expenses.

The average person, If asked /
the most expensive item of hnspi
penditure, would probably reply,l
icine." Most people think tats
language of little Tommy Tupger
pital is "a very large place 7zae
has heaps an heaps O. medic
this is not correct, for the rees-t
of the Massachusetts, general
which may stand as a type Of sFsI.
hospital, shows that ''meo IN
one of the smaller items, bs5e
less than surgical instrumen
the ''fuel" costs three times as q
medicine. The average cost 81
is about S14 per week. That
mated, is about the cost of So
for each week Of occupation.
of course, includes everything, d.
rule, there is no difference between
bed and any other. With the exc
of one ward, where all patients pay
sum Of so much per week, no one
medical director knows who occu
paid bed and who a Tree one. The
and attendants are purposely kept
norance Of these facts, because the
clans believe such a policy is wise.
York Commercial AaBertiser.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-08-08
SATISFIED wITH H1s oonns-


He was a stout man with red face.
and his general air indicated that he was
in possession of fair amonas Of hauor.
He fidgeted about on his scat in an
elevated railroad ear, and S.T----yr-tne
passengers as though he Faast talk or
burst. At length he leansd over to a
timid man who sat next, aads said:
''Did you ever have corns
'tNo," said the timid young man,
blushing.
Haven't got anyl"
sNo."
''Bunions7"
sNo.n
''Let me see your foot, " said the big
man imperiously, waving the butt of
cigar toward his unfortunate neighbours
extremities.
The young man reluctantly advanced
one foot into the range of inspection
"What makes it ree-cornered?" asked
the large man.
~ am sure 1 don't know" murmured
the owner, growing more and more con-
fused.
''Well, young man, said the other,
with all the scorn obtainable from much
liquor, give got four corns and two good
live ounions, but I'd rather have more'n
than that, than have them two fatiron
feet of yours CROWN on me, "-Nslo York
Tribune.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-08-08

''NearlY everybody thinks
fresh eggs are alike in favor
old Long Island poultry dealer.
is a mistake. There is as marke
tinction between the eggs OF a
on clean, wholesome food, and Ii
by one that has been badly nc
and forced to scratch on poor gro
her own living, as there Is hstg
butter made from the milk.of : G
has been eating the exhausted gri
brewery and that of one that has (
on tender grass. When you meaa
fowl always lock it up for about |
before the date set for Its deal
feed it on clean and nourishina
You vii find its flesh as far sup
flavor to that of the ordinary mar
as a mountain stream trout is supA
one fed on liver in a trout pond
York Sun.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-08-08

Mr.. Conklin, as superintendent Of
Central Park menagerie, is curioGsl5
timistic with gard to reptiles. 30
only shares biblical sentiment
corning the wisdom of the serpenfll
says that it is more docile and easis'
tame than any other member of the &
creation. He has number ofRyth
which are kept the Greater + y
time in an improvised box OF
floor of the Arsenal, and he -
-A---1 l1.aza.aa- -sia.<I Is
pleasure In gazing upon the'dqll hue'
their sinuous folds as if each scale ,
fraught with beauty. The largest q
pythons is loathsome creature somo
feet in length, on which the aifectiol
appellation of tom has been bestof
When the keeper lifts Tom from his I
Mr. Conklin goes up to the Kissing q
ster and strokes him soothingly, MUG
he might do to a dog or a horse:
Superintendent says that young w
frequently come to him with tii3 re-
that he viii allow the keeper p iae
them in the manner of handling sna
and that once the first loathing Is n
come, these enterprising young wq'
rapidly acquire the knowledge the
sire. What their object is in gal
is not clear, but Mr.. Conklin think
it is to gain the attendant gforl
that in some cases it is the initial
toward becoming a professional
charmer.-Nel0 York Commercial
tiser.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-08-08
BOARDING HOUSE SARCASM.

Mrs Makeshift trying to get on the
right side of her boarders)-"And do
you know, ladies and gentlemen, in
Madagascar it is the astounding custom
never to serve chickens until they are
seven years old2"
The Star Boarder-'sWhy, never
knew until now that you were native of
Madagascar, Mrs. Makeshift. "-Lapreace
AMTican.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-08-08

Grandma-''There is nothing ike
presence of mind, my dear. Once when
| was left alone in the house, I discovered
there was burglar under the bed. Now,
I didn't scream. just sat down at the
piano and played until papa and brother
came home-nearly three hours.
Dot-"And did they pull him out,
grandma9"
"They pulled him out-but he was
dead. "-Terre Raute Express.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-08-08
HOW no cHoosE A NOVEL,.

81 spent whole hour to-day at the
public library trying to choose novel.
It's such nuisance"
"Oh, think it easy enough. I just
look at the last chapter. If 1 find rain
softly and sadly dropping over one OF
two lonely graves, don't take it, but if
the morning sun is glimmering over
bridal robes of white satin, 1 get it
marked at once. "-Toronto Grip.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-08-08
W0MAN'S WORLD.
PLEASANT LITERATURE FOR
FEMININE READERS.


s'Hammock" dresses, designed for
elegant wear on sultry, lazy afternoons,
are announced. They are made with
.long flowing Greek lines; they are steel
less, cushionless, half fitting, but grace
full withal, having nook of untidy loose
ness, and are made of all the soft, pretty
crepalines, ohallies, carmelites and also of
China silk, foulard and surah.--NeiO York
Horld.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-08-08
A PERFECT DAY.


White roses are swaying
And msekly displaying
Their shell-fashioned petals,
So fragile and cold.
While bluebirds are flying
Where alders are signing,
The winds on the wavelets
Tie Files unfold.
Ger meadows the brightest
Drift cloudlets the whitest,
Down softest and bluest
OF summary skies.
The apple tree wrinkles,
And in the air sprinkles
Its blossoms that fiutter
Like white butterflies.
The crystal brook gushes,
The wild flower bushes,
The trailing arbutus
Is pink on the slope;
The valleys a-tremble,
That Eden resemble.
Are sunny and fragrant
With kisses of hope.
oh, hours serenest,
The rosiest. greenest
Gold-vestured and graceful
As swans on streaml
Our souls keep repeating,
-oh wherefore so fleeing!
Like faces we only a
Can see in dreamy
R. K An''hittric6, in Youths cof5panion
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-08-08

A novelty in wells under the name OF
grain de beaute has appeared and is made
Of plain tulle, either in black or white,
with couple of black waters so arranged
that one comes under the corner of one
eye and another at the corner of the lips,
in imitation of the patches which adorned
the beauties of the last century. Patch
wells arc sparsely dotted with velvet spots,
and Russian net falls are the stylish ser
yiceable face covering. The fall below
the mouth and are drawn up from below
the chin.-Neio York Sun.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-08-08

Tor s.ealingl" "Your Honor, " exclaimed
the witness, appealing to the Judge, "do
l have to answer that question:" 81 see
no reason why you should not, answered
the Judge. "You may answer it" 81
have one other child, but 1 had hoped it
would not be necessary to speak of her.
She turned out badly, " faltered the wit
ness. "She married a lawyer. LAO
Journal.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-08-08
Most Horses Are Either Gray or Bay.

A near-sighted youth, writes James
Payn, on going in for his medical ex-
animation, was advised by that guide,
philosopher and friend, his crammer
''The doctor will ask you about the
horses on the common; say gray, very
rapidly, for all horses are either gray or
bay" This was, no doubt, a too hasty
generalization; but it is the fact that to
persons who do not concern themselves
with the equine race, horses are very
much alike. A young gentleman of my
acquaintance, who used that animal
merely as the means of locomotion-
''the means and not the end"-was once
gwen a ''mount" by the friend with
whom he was staying to visit Reading
races. On coming away he had taken
the animal which was offered to him out
of the crowded booth without investi-
cation, and rode home on it. His host
met him at the lodge gate, and with the
quick eye Of a proprietor perceived there
had been an exchange which might or
might not be a robbery. ''Why, that's
not my horse, Ned" SIS it mott" re-
piled the enthusiastic equestrian. SIT
looked extremely like him" know an
other case, where matters turned out
much worse. A good man of business,
but one who was very careless rider,
Mr.. A. was wont to come to town on
horseback every day, and put his horse
up at a certain livery stable. Mr.. B.,
friend of his, used to do the like. and ,on
calling TOR his nag one EVENING" had an
other brought out to him by sthe hostler-
"That's not my horse" he said; "that's
Mr.. AS horse" "Thep Mr.. A. must
have taken your horse by mistake, sir"
''If so, said B., with gravity, she is a
dead man." And SO, indeed, it turned
out. Poor A, riding home with loose
rein and careless seat, upon, as he
thought, his own quiet steed, was
thrown and killed upon the spot by
buck jumper.-Frank Leslie's Monthly.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-08-08

The chicken business Is a matter of
wonderful importance to the table com
fort and the financial outlook of the
American farmer. Government statistics
chow that the annual expenditure in this
line IS $3.50, oe0, oo0; and despite the
Immense production Of eggs, several
million dollars worth are annually I'M
Kted to meet the deficiency in the home
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-08-08

In the opinion OF the New York Sun,
s'suicide in this country is getting to be
common nuisance. Here is a man
whose rent falls due; he is unable to pay
It, and commits suicide. No sane man
now commits suicide but through defect
Of imagination. Time was when suicide
was a point Of honor in certain cases, but
!. the world has she'd those notions. 1t has
got now to a point where sane suicide is
a growth Of pure barrenness of imagina-
ton. 1t Is case for the common
schools. There wants to be more poetry
in their curriculum; poetry simply as an
-exe,eise of the imaginative faculty, to
train it, to develop its power Of fight.
The greatest part Of suicide is stupid. Its
prevalence derogalea from national dig
nifty. It used to be fashion IN France,
and other folks rather despised the
Frenchmen then for not having better
sense. It is time for the American peo-
pie to brace up and quit making a spec
tacle Of itself.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-08-08
pEN-poRrRA1T OF HIS MAJESTY.

He (reading from society paper with
evident vanity)-"Hear this: '0ur
friend, j. Harold Smoothly chats my
selD, has face and form at once impe-
riously and winningly gracious, magnetic,
fascinating and courtly.' "
She-''Why, Mr.. Smoothly, that is
the very picture which an indianapolis
clergyman recently drew of Satan. y
Chicago Times
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-08-08

Wea Shore believes that every true
} American win hail sith JOY the new Re-
public Of Central America, formed by
Nicaragua. Guatemala, Honduras, San
salvador and Costa Rica, five independ-
ent republics that have joined in 6
union as one nation, similar to the union
formed BY our own SOVEREIGN States.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-08-08

Flowing by steam has been introduced
in WaIla waIla Valley, Washington, aud
is pronounced a success. Heretofore it
has cost 50 per acre to pillow, while
under the new system in can be done for
Iforty cents.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-08-08

The New Orleans Pieayrns is aston-
ished because the other day Minnesota
bclergymsn Travelled thirty miles, made six
calls, visited two schools, gave an after
noon lecture and shot seven jack-rabbits,
all between sunrise and sunset; and he
said it wasn't a good day for pastoral
7ysfk. either.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-08-08

The rush to the geld fields in the Trans
wal region has been unprecedented in
history. IN three years $3.50, 600. 900 Of
English money haEe6een invested there.
Cities have-ssFdng up wherein 1856 only
grass could be found aud no habitation.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-08-08
HaarIem StiII to the Fore in

The centre of the bulb culture
land is still at Harlem, as it ]
during two centuries and a hall
cinths are especially in favor iq
and ground suitable for their ca
has sold for as much as S13, sos
as against about $1,000 given fsrI
other kinds. The expense of q
IS placed at about $500 an acre
cinths and S16O for tulips a.
noted that artificial manures
used. Narcissus is also groHl
quantities near HARLEM, chiefly
portation to England. A
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-08-08
KErcHn ON BEHIND.

Itell you, boys, it amt no use
A-ketchin' on behind;
The steps you save by that ere ruse
Are steps you needn't mind.
The man who walks with steady strida
Ambitions swinging gait,
VIII reach the goal, while woe betide
The lsggard who is late.
Fear not the lash of ksen satire
That drives the car of fate;
He shall not slip who shuns the miro
Forge on, nor paussto pirate.
1 tell you, boys, jump of the cart
And put On extra speed;
Let perseveranee guide your heart
And honor be your creed.
Pearl Eytinge, in Judas.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-08-08

"Well, George, in this firm We are
about to form" remarked Arabella to
her fiance, 81 suppose, of course, you
will expect to be the senior partnerl"
yes" replied George, "and 1 hope
you will be the silent partner. Nun
sey's Weekly.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-08-08

y order which the Police Commits
Apers Of Boston sent out recently was
Bexpected to work transformation in the
liquor selling business Of that city. It
abolishes all bars, and requires that
liquors shall only b. sold with food at
tables. Every saloon in the city viii
have to be changed into restaurant,
snd tables must take the place of the
bars. The law has oeen on the statute
books for some time, but it has never
been enforced.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-08-08

One explanation Of the probably de-
'creased wheat acreage in the Dakotas is
STATED to be that the States are requiring
RENT for the school section Zone section in
every eighteeHs3, whereas heretofore the
and has been used rent free by squatters.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-08-08

'sThere is one solace left to me at
least, remarked the old farmer. CATER
all my boys leave and go up to the city,
after the pigs and cattle die, and every
thing else forsakes me, there is at least
one thing that will stick to the old
farm.
s'And that is-?n
1.-THE mOrtgagei"-La0renee A1aeri-
can.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-08-08
ruouHer THEY WERE HIS NIeHro1orH

thouhei AhSA "EhS Mo NiehAOAO mes
A general professor in one of ouI
Scotch universities has bright boy Of
four years, whose only experience il
church-going was where the service was
in Congregational form.
A few Sabbaths since a relative was to
preach in the Episcopal Church, and the
Professor permitted the child to accom-
pany him thither.
All went on decorously until the rec
tor, in his white robes, presented him
self, when the little fellow, with tug
at his sleeve, very nearly upset the Pro-
fessor's gravity by wonderingly exclaim-
ing: "Papa, does Uncle Joseph sleep
here2"-LOndon Iid-Bits.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-08-08

At New York city it is proposed to
span North Tor HUDSON River with
viaduct broad enough to carry six stand
ard-gauge railway tracks, and to cost
$40, 600, 600.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-08-08
INC President Of The CoIumbjan F,

The President Of the Columbian Fair
in Chicago is to receive $1,000 annually;
yiee-President, $4,000; Treasurer,
5000, and Auditor. $4,000. Vice
President Bryan receives a larger salary
because it Is expected that he viii relieve
President Gage Of most of the work.
Second viee-President Potter Palmer de-
slined any composition.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-08-08

It is said that the first cost of building
: feet Of Atlantic liners is but a tribe
keompared to the cost Of running them.
Pin less than three years it viii exceed the
cost of construction, so enormous is the
expenditure in wages, port duties and
renairs.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-08-08

A medical man has propounded the
following query:
''Does woman fill the lower half of
her lungs with airl"
He ought to get married and hear his
wife's mother on the rampage. That's
all.-Paris Herald.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-08-08
PRIOR TO THE PROPOSAL.

Miss Ralling-"We're all athletic in
our family. Sally is an A 1 fencer, Molly
is superb with the clubs, and even mamma
puts up the dumb bells"
Garrison Ito bimself-fI wish KNEW
whether your old dad could put up the
rocks. '''-Judge.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-08-08

Murder seems to be the least perilous
Of all the crimes known to the statute
ks in this country out of 17,779
marderers who took human life in the six
years from 1884 to 1889, only SIS paid
the penalty by yielding their own lives 10
the law.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-08-08

zinc secret Of Emin Pasha's unwilling
- 20 return to Europe seems at last to
- got out. He did not want to play
second fiddle. In other words, he could
not assent, as the National zsit,tug puts
it, Ito SANKEY'S desire to exhibit him in
Europe like a rare animal.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-08-08
ANOTHER NARRon ESCAPE.

"Did you hear of Trayers's marvellous
escaped Some one shot him right over
the heart, but the bell didn't penetrate
through his breast pocket"
"Saved by the usual pack of cards, ]
suppose"
mo. Bills. Czothier and Fu,nisier.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-08-08
wHAr I'M nRouaHr HONE.

''Your husband seems very fond Of
mgIing."
'He is"
''Does he bring home all the fish he
,atchesl"
Eyes; and more too. Washington
Post.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-08-08

Razzle-"How much did you pay fol
hat dress suit you had the other even
ingl"
Dazzle-"Fifty cents an hour. =
Clothier and FilyniSder.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-08-08
CORRECT.

Teacher TO class -''What is velocitya'
Bright Youth-''Velocity is what a
nan puts hot plate down with. Men
: York Herald.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-08-08
THE END OF ALL.

Mendicant-''Please, sir, can't you
give me little money! haven't cent
to buy food or medicine, and my wife is
going to die"
Citizen giving him a quarter-
'sWhat is the matter with your poor
wife?"
Notwithstanding, sir, nothing
just at present, that is; bit I'm afraid
she'll die. Everybody is going to die
some time, amt they"-AInsey's
Weekly.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-08-08

"Don't you get tired of this do-noth-
ng lifel"
'sYaas, very; but trade is vulgar and
asiaide is criminal. What can 1 doln-
haTSer's Basar.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-08-08

The new State of Washington expects
to have within twenty years a school
sfund of $50, goo, goo from her school
Llands.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-08-08

The recent purchase of 1000 Texas
ssf steers for export to the City Of
Mexico, seems to indicate that de-
mand for better meat is current there.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-08-08

The Superior Council of the Protestant
Church Of Prussia has issued circular
instructing the clergy to denounce the
Asocialist movement.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-08-08

During the last six years 1921 women
have sought divorce in France as com
pared with $500 men. Ten men and
l.GS.,S.msn SOUGHT ryilvorce while under
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-08-08

Cobwigger-''Is that good paper to
AXE home to the family9"
Brown-"It will be when cut out the
list of auctions and bargain sales. "-Nsio
York Sun.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-08-08

4 The first Legislature of Washington
BIT the State to foot up bills of 81, OOO,-
10 and over.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-08-08

She's shown herself shrewd and yet
| can't forget
owe my happiness to her.
Twas this way, sir.
asked her once to wed and she
Rejected me.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-08-08
sars Of age

tefui slaughter of moose is said
Arriea on upon the upper Ottawa
in Canada. The animals are killed
erely for their hides, aud the carcasses
ire ;eftin the woods.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-08-08
BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SKETCHES FROM
VARIOUS SOURCES.

Ye Bachelors Thanks-Correct-
cording TO notwithstanding to
lDo-An Expurgated Edition
Prior to the Proposal, Etc
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-08-08

Stanley estimates the population of
kfrica at 9sn, ooo, 900.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-08-08
A SEVERE Elbow no THE PROFESSION.

81 will ask you to state, said the law
yer, whether you have any other chill
dren than this young man now on trial
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-08-08
Between bliss hate
Doth oscillate
Your moral fate y

"oh, darling, and the poor girl was
about to sob in her fear. ''Shall we not
send for motheri"
''send for your mother7" repeated.
.'send for fddlesticks, said /, with reck-
less irreyerence. 'sWhy. see thcrei
Looklp and along the side Of the instru-
ment were the words: .sBliss heat, 100
degrees; affection, 100 degrees friend
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-08-08

A single factory in DurhamI
manufactured S32, 900, 600 cigaI
year.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-08-08


There was no German lesson to-day -.
To think that she cherishes aversion
she of all beings. And 1 thought it
would be ebliss heat forever -.
] have not the heart to continue these
extracts from my diary. Their general
tenor can be very well gathered; they re-
corded such changes in temperature that
we were both in despair Each mood on
our parts was faithfully, too faithfully,
recorded. Each transient impulse was
uneriingly transcribed. Each trifing
word, each wandering frown, Influenced
the thermometer, and we were both so
alarmed by its indications that we be-
came positively unhappy. We wished it
always to be bliss heat. and were not
prepared for the variations.
One eyening-it was hardly a month
after the wedding-we were seated
quietly in the parlor, when the bell rang
and in walked Uncle John.
81 never felt so well in my life, chill
dren," he exclaimed in his heartiest
tones. Scout all gone"-and he slapped
his leg to prove the fact-''so thought
would come to the city and see you"
And he kissed angelica and pulled my
whiskers. Then he burst into a merry
laugh, which was so catching that my
wife and laughed too, the first time in
two hours, for at dinner that wretched
thermometer had fallen to sixty degrees
Gndifference). and we we're in despair.
"Come, come, Kitten said he to
Angelica, caressing her forehead; ''tell
me all about it. What is the mystery2
Has that fellow been vexing youG Come,
let your old uncle be your father con-
fessor. Now, then, out with it. -
Angelica's response was tc cling 10 TIE
old gentleman and sink her head upOn