Daily Republican. [volume] ([Wilmington, Del.]) 1874-1890, 1890-01-13

Real Editorial Happiness Found Only In
the West

zeal Editorial Happiness Found Only In
the West.
We extract the following items from
the last issue Of the Arizona Kicker;
Apologetical.- We must apologize to
our readers THE week for any lack OF
Interesting matter 10 The Kicker. Mon.
day morning, US we were busy at the
editorial table, that personaee known as
IN ansas 200" entered the office and fired
both barrels OF a shotgun at us from a
distance OF eighteen feet One Of the
shot rsked our scalp, while the rest
passed above our head into the wall. In
another1 thirty seconds Joseph was dead.
We pulled on him with revolver under
the smoke and dropped him with single
bullet. Scores OF our leading citizens
pronounce It the finest shot they have
ever known.
There was tie usual inquest, burial,
etc., occupying so much Of our time that
we could not give the paper tho atten-
ton 1t deserved. Next week. unless we
have to kill Tennessee BIZ, The Kicker
will again be fully up to the mark,
See his al. We call attention to tie
two-column advertisement OF The White
Elephant drug store, which is to be- found
On our third page. This advertisement
wls not given Tia Kaokor because we
had ascertained that Mr.. Drew, the drug
gist, was M absco nder from New Jersey,
and was here under ia sc name and
with . woman not his wife, but because
he 10 believer IN printers ink and has
faith that The Kicker will increase his
already large and profitable retail trade.
Happens that way-On Friday after
noon We approached Henry Smith, of the
dry goods firm oil Smith Bros, and sug-
gested that he advertise his business in
The Kicker. lie courteously replied that
he would see us In the huckleberry
county, wherever that is-before he
would do business with us. One word
brought on another, and the result wa.
that he Knocked us down, picked up oul
halfunconscious body, and mopped Il
around until he began TO sweat his collar
and we were then flung out OF the dooi
Into the sand.
We can't and don't expect to lIcL
every body We bump up against In thi.
county. We have chawed up seven iOl
every time We have been doHe up, and
every body says that Is record to boast
Of As Tor Henry Smith, while we owe
him no grudge, We deem it our duty t.
lind out where he is wanted 10y the police
and wen bet barrel OF sugar he jump,
this town inside OF two weeks.
Let Him Howl.-Our bow backed, lop-
shouldered, knee-sprung, green-eyed
contemporary down the street is hall
dead with envy because we were the
leading feature at Mrs. O'Hara's party
The other evening, while he received the
cold cut While We were recelt lug Il
hurdred compliments on our late editor
ial In regard 10 colonizing Iceland wit!
American Indians, he YVES tting amor.
his paste pots with cold glare In his
eyes. While NO were leading tie frst
quadrille he was Kicking cock-roaches il
the eemi-Garkness, and while we were
declalming "sheiidan's Ride" in oui
own iDimitasle styie, the fire OF envy wa
consuming his small, cheap soul, which
WAS doubtless purchased at some second
h and sale In the east.
Let him howl, however. We car
afford to pass him by with good nature.
We are rs lar above the old vultnre at
Pixies Peak Is above the deepest spot IN
the sea.
Explanatory. explanation Is due
our readers that sti ! another breach oil
promise suit has been brought against
us, making the seventeenth In two years.
This lime IL is the Widow Cumbers who
brings suit, and she lays her damages at
$40, 900. Society here is peculiar Lone
women seek this locality to catch a hus-
band. Amy unmarried man is fair game,
and ordinary courtesy Is construed to
mean love ard q propo al. Take the last
case Tor instance. Mira. Cumbers inyite1
us TO dinner She said it as in acknowl-
meit of tie power Of the press. We put
Oh clean shirt and combed our hair,
aud she took 1t to mean that we were
gone on her. We spoke kindly OF the
way che boiled corned beef, aud she ar
gued that we loved her. We praised her
pruue pie, and she replied that she could
be ready In three weeks.
The sixteen other suits have all been
decided iu our favor, aud oil course this
one will be. 1t is plan to capture us or
oiir cash. but we don't surrender. Even
when we have had oilers to settle a roo,
900 suit for " aud calico dress we have
sternly held to our course aud let the
case 70 to trial.