davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-03-20
A Spirited SuitOr.

Many anecdotes are related about
the droll sayings of the late Jonas Hill
of Fayette. He had a peculiar way of
speaking, which those who heard him
will never forget, but his pronunciation
can hardly be represented in print
He was at one time suitor for the
hand of young lady whose parents
did not favor him. Her father did not
think that the social standing of Jonas
was such as to render him fit match
for his daughter, but he told the young
man that if he would bring him high
toned references he would consider his
claim. Jones said nothing, but felt in
dignant, and resolved to have his re-
venge. So he procured the best OF
recommendations as to his character
and standing in society. The old man
examined the credentials and was sat.
isfied. "All right" said he, "you are
welcome; walk into my parlor, and
your horse shall be stabbed and fed. u
Mot by any MEANS" replied Jones,
my (th) horse is neither hungry MOI
(th) dry, and l shall never (th) darker
your (th) doors any more. Good day,
sir" And putting the whip to his
horse, he drove out of the dooryard,
leaving the old gentleman glaring after
him, ,dumfounded.- d.-LeDiston Journal.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-03-20
Religious Runners In Russia.

When Russian is converted and feels
called upon to turn from his evil ways,
as often as not he joins sect called the
runners (begoonee,) and, taking up his
bed, walks about the country for the re-
mainder of his natural life and seems
to thoroughly enjoy it. No conscien-
tious member OF this peripatetic and pro-
gressive persuasion can pitch his tent
for long anywhere on this transitory
earth. A day and night is the usual
thing; week is exceptional; a months
halt would be evidence of lamentable
backsliding, while still longer sojourn
would leave no doubt that the impious
loiterer had committed the inexpiable
sin, writes correspondent. For once q
man has been received into the ranks
of the begoonee he can no longer be
fastened as nail in sure place, but
is straightway fugitive and a vaga-
bondin the earth, and can take nothing
for life's journey, save staff only; no
scrip, no bread, no money in his purse,
and only suspicion of spirits in his ca
pacious bottle.-Ne,u York Journal.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-03-20
Going the Wrong Way,

Ex-Governor Andrew Shuman en-
tered the smoking car on Chicago and
Northwestern train the other afternoon,
says the Chicago Tribune, and took q
seat facing toward the engine. The seat
ahead of him was turned over. Mr..
Shuman was smoking good cigar and
had an evening paper in his hand. As
he settled back an Irishman, with a
clay pipe in his mouth, entered the car.
His breath was redolent with bad
whisky and red eye tobacco.
"Good avenin', Misther Shuman,"
said the Irishman, as he sat down on
the seat opposite.
"How are you, Pat ?" said Mr.. Shu-
| man.
"Noicely, tank you, was the reply.
Pat had probably hoed the garden
for Governor Shuman at some time,
and he was presuming on old acquaint-
ance. He leaned over, blew little
bad breath and worse tobacco smoke
in Governor Shuman's face, and
asked:
"How's t'ings in Evanston, sor?"
Every nicely" replied Governor
Shuman, trying to open the window to
geS breath of fresh air.
Pat leaned over again and allowed
another whiff of red eye to circulate
around Governor Shuman's head as he
said:
"Oi am glad to hear it, sor. Now,
Old like to ak you"
But Governor Shuman was des
perate.
"Where are you going, Pat?" he
asked abruptly.
Evanston, sor," was the reply.
evanston !" exclaimed Governor
Shuman. "Why, you're going th
wrong way. Can't you see you're faceC
toward Chicago? Turn the seat over.
The Irishman gave start, turnet
around and looked toward the engine
and then glanced out of the window.
"Be hivens, you're roightl" he ex
claimed. "Oi'm faced the wrong way
Thank you Misther Shuman."
He turned his seat over and Cover
nor Shuman buried his head in hi
paper and enjoyed the rest of the trip
In fact, he was seen to smile once o.
| fwipe
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-03-20


the most perfect phonograph possible.
They worked on the machine for over
two months. Every part OF the IN
strument capable of it is plated with
gold and silver, and the parts are fin-
ished to the utmost possible limit. At
tached to the machine is water motor
of improved construction that has been
one of the recent triumphs of the great
inventor, and that runs the machine
steadily and noiselessly with mini
mum consumption of water. The case
is of rare inlaid woods, and is a marvel
of painstaking workmanship.
The phonograph, if not the most USE
full, is certainly the most wonderful OF
all the wizards wonderful inventions.
When it was first exhibited at the New
York Academy Of Sciences, few years
ago, a murmur of admiration was
heard, which was succeeded by re-
peated applause. Some of the skep-
tical members started the rumor that
the Academy had been mystifed by a
clever ventriloquist, and repeated ex-
periments were required to convince
these incredulous persons that no chi
canery was used, and that the talking
machine" could be readily manipulated
by anyone.
Edison's birthplace is Milan, Ohio.
While yet a boy in his teens, telegraphy
took great hold upon him, and having
one day snatched station-master's
child from in front of an approaching
train, the grateful father taught him
telegraphy, and from that time he be-
came systematic student. His ready
ingenuity suggested all sorts of adapt
ations. One day the ice jam broke the
cable between Port Huron and Sarnia
ION the Canada side); the river at that
point being mile and half in width,
all communication by telegraph was
cut off. Young Edison seized the
valve of an engine that controls the
whistle, which he footed into long and
short notes, like the dots and dashes in
telegraphy. Hello, Sarnia, do you
get me?" he footed; no answer. "Hel-
10, Sarnia, do you hear what I say?"
A third and fourth time the message
was sent over, and finally came the an
swer from an engine on the other side (;
the connection had been made, and
communication easily carried on until
the cable was repaired.
Edison's many inventions are legion,
but his phonograph, megaphone, the
quadruplex and duplex systems of tel
egraphy, his telephone-which alone
petted him over one hundred thousand
dollars-tha- electric railway and in
candescent electric light, are but few
Of the best known of his most wonder
full and valuable inventions.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-03-20
Teacher was UOrnered.

In one of the city schools teacher,
with all the patience and powers of per-
suasion she could command, was en-
deavoringto instruct.a class about right
angle triangle. AfSer several attempts
she called the scholars to account for
inattention, with the remark that what
she was saying seemed to go in at one
ear and out the other. Again she re-
peated her description, following it by
asking, who can tell what right angle
triangle is? Up went hand, and the
bright boy to whom it belonged shouted
Something which goes in at one ear
and out the other. Worcester Spy.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-03-20
Two Ways.

Speaking of spiders, I will relate
another little instance that is very in.
teresting and appropriate in this con-
nection. Some time ago 1 noticed q
fat old spider came to feed regularly on
a blossom in the laboratory window,
and invariably little honey bee would
appear on the blossom at the same
time. This being repeated a number
of days-nearly week-to make sure
the same visitors came every day, the
spider and bee each were marked, and
every day the marked insects appeared
regularly, would feed often in close
proximity to each other without mo
lestation or desire to intrude, each
seeming aware of, but not caring for,
the others presence; and generally
about the same time, apparently salts.
fed, would go away-the spider to his
dow, and the bee to its hive. Finally
one day ] caught them both and ruth.
lessly killed them. By means of the
microscope, spectroscope, and chemical
analysis, found that these insects OBJ.
tanned from the same flower substances
widely dissimilar. One (the spider,
sought the most energetic poison
known, with which to slay his material
for food-the flies; the other sought
that perfect tincture of sweetness (hon.
ey) upon which to feed when the flowers
of the harvest had passed. Each had
desire, each sought its qualification,
each obtained it from the same flower
obtained its fill, and went away salts
fed.
A moral should adorn this storys fol
the truthfulness of which will vouch
For instance, two persons, without
distinction of sex, will meet and talk
of third (perhaps a friend, at least
an acquaintance of each); one will
have discovered all that is pure, good
and noble, the sweets of life, as among
the attributes of the third persons
character; the other all that is low.
vile and loathsome, the bitter, poison
GUS dregs of all human proclivities.
Each of these persons is, like the
spider and the bic, in search of some
thing; they find what they desire;
perhaps, in the character of one of the
most beautiful human flowers; each
gets qualification and goes away salts
fed from the feast of reason, and,
again, like the bee and the spider,
uses the substance obtained, one for
intellectual food for elevating, inspir-
ing and ennobling fellow-kind; the
other for blightipg the affections,
blasting the aspirations, and running
the prospects of others, merely that
food may be created from the loath-
someness this ruin has wrought. The
comparison does not end here by any
means. But let me ask, reader, are
you bee or spider?
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-03-20
The Dead Marine.

Captain Mark Welch, late of Belfast,
Me-, was an old time ship master, and
many amusing stories are told of his sea
life. Captain Welch had great abhor-
renee of tobacco, and disliked to find
tobacco "quidsn about the vessels deck.
One night he found an immense "quid'
on the quarter deck alongside the house,
which had been recently painted, The
captain called all hands. The watch be-
low turned out, and as the night was
pleasant, they could not imagine what
the difficulty was. SECT the watch tackle,
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-03-20

We offer One Hundred DollaIs reward for
any case of cstarra that cannot be cured by
taking Hills Ca:arrh Cure.
F. J. CHENEY o. Co, Props, Toledo, O..
We, tho undersigned, have known +, j.
Cheney for the last Is years, and believe him
perfectly honorable in oil business transac-
tions, and financially able to carry out any OBJ
legations made by their firm.
West &c Truax, Wholesale Druggists, Toledo,
Ohio.
walding, Kinnan & Marvin, Wholesale Drug
gists, Toledo, OHIO.
E. II. Van Hoesen, Cashier Toledo National
Bank Toledo, Ohio.
Halls Catarrh Cure is taken internally, act
ing directly upon the blood and mucous sur
faces of the system. Testimonials sent free
Price 75c. Ter bottle. Sold by all Druggists.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-03-20

The perfect combustion OF coal seems
to have been effected by Mr.. William
Gibbs, of Essex, England. By means
of fan and suitable openings, the ex-
act quantity of air necessary is sup
piled to the furnace chambers, and the
products of combustion issue as hot air,
free from smoke or odor.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-03-20
The Greedy Spider.

The ordinary spider, tanned and
taught to come for its food, which is
not difficult or troublesome to do, will
consume an immense amount of food
in twenty-four hours, amounting, in the
aggregate, to trife over six times its
own weight At the same rate of con-
sumption, person of average weight,
say one hundred and fifty pounds,
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-03-20
No Attraction.

Dramatic Agent sir, Pm
advance agent of Held for Trial." the
great sensational drama, with safe
burglary in it, Guess you've heard of
it. Got a regular cracksman in the
company, too, you know; Just out of
the penitentiary, and he opens a safe
on the stage. Great success. Crowded
houses everywhere. You'll be around
to see the performance, won't youP
Country Editor (sadly) Pin not ir
terested in safes.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-03-20

Thousands of women owe their fresh,
blooming countenances to the restorative
effects of DR.. Pierce's Favorite Prescrip-
tion. 1t is a positive cure for the most
complicated and obstinate cases of leucor-
rhea, excessive flowing, painful menstrual
ton, unnatural suppressions, prolapsus, or
falling of the womb, weak back, female
Weakness anteversion retroversion, bear
ing-down sensations chronic congestion, in
fammation and liberation of the womb,
inflammation, pain and tenderness in ova-
ries, accompanied with internal heat"
AS a regulator and promoter of func-
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-03-20

would take for his food as follows:
Breakfast, a dressed beef, ten gal
Ions of tea.
Dinner, twenty dressed sheep, five
barrels of potatoes.
Supper, fifty loaves of bread, a bar
rel of butter.
Lunch, two hundred pounds of cake,
q barrel of wine.
And even then would wake at mid
night feeling as though he had not
eaten a square meal for week. Hap
PLY, though, men are not spiders.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-03-20
AN OLD MAIDS SOLILO0UY.

tional action, at that critical period Of
change from girlhood to womanhood "Fa-
vorite. Prescription is a perfectly safe re-
medal agent, and can produce only good
results. 1t is equally efficacious and valua-
BILE in its effects when taken for those disor-
ders and arrangements incident to that later
and most critical period, known as "The
Change of Life.n
For Book (160 pages) on Woman: Her
Diseases and their Self-cure, (sent sealed in
plain envelope enclose ten cents, in stamps,
to WORLDS DIsPENsARY MEDICAL Asso-
CITATION, G63 Main Street, Buffalo, N. Y.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-03-20

For many years it was thought by
scientific men that nothing but the
real diamond would cut glass, but steel
can be made sufficiently hard to cut
glass readily, and substance called
zabasheer, found in the joints of the
bamboo, will, when dry, cut glass read.
lily. 1t hardens into solid lump when
eXposed to the air.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-03-20

SOME woods are more valuable even
than the most precious metals. Among
the aloe family of trees this is very evi-
dent. The heart of one of the species
of the aloe tree, called tumbac,
believe, that grows in tropical coun-
tries, sells in India for its weight in
cold.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-03-20
POPULAR SCIE N c E.
A VARIETY OF CURIOUS AND INTER
ESTING FACTS.

characteristics of Animal Life-The Spider
and Its Curious Ways-The Quantity OF
Food We Eat-Precious woods-History
in IA Pack of Playing Cards-Etc., Etc.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-03-20
Pack of Playing Cards.

What history is represented in a
pack of playing cards. They contain
a spot for each day in the year, card
for each week in the year, picture for
each month in the year, suit for each
season of the year, numerical color
for each minute in an hour, and value,
in whist, for each degree of the circle.
A hand in an ordinary game of whist
would not be repeated in 154, Alb years.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-03-20
The Amount of Food We Eat.

Every person must eat, sleep, and
have some sickness. A person at
seventy years, now not considered very
old, has eaten provisions that would
require train of seventy cars, heavily
laden with food, to transport, has
slept twenty years, and been sick ten
years. Strange, but not less strange
than true. Taken in general, the
foregoing is trife below the average.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-03-20
" Fair Play

Is oil that Is asked for Dr. Piercc's Golden
Medical Discovery, when taken for catarrh In
the head, OF for bronchial or throat affections,
or lung scrofula commonly known as CON.
sumption Of the luagsl and If taken in time,
and given fair trial, it will cure or the money
nilnrnnfefl cure.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-03-20

straps and a handspiI1e, and bring them
aft" shouted the captain. The crew
obeyed in mazcment. ''Put Il strap
around the main boom and hook on the
watch tackle" said Captain Welch.
"What is to be done r asked the mate.
"Sling that dead marine lying there
against the house and hoist him over
board, " said the captain, pointing to the
tobacco GOULD" 1t was done. No more
dead marines were found lying about the
decks after that.-[Lewiston Journal.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-03-20
THE WIZARD OF MENLO PARK.
An Incident of Thomas A. Edison's Early
Carcer-His birthday Gift.

HONI Nd II. A.IDIDON
recently celebrated
his 44th birthday at
his home at Menlo
Park, N. J. The
employees of the Ed
ison P h o n o 6 ra p h
Works, in honor of
the occasion, made
and presented to him
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-03-20
"A tea set-The Chinese.

For washing fannels, Dobbins's Electric Soar
fs nGrpelous. Blankets and woolens washed
WITH lt look like ne,p, and there Is absolutely M
such perfect work. Give 1t trial f,ot6.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-03-20
Wnere UenIus DIdn,t work.

He was just plain tramp, unadulter-
ated with soap, and he carried over his
shoulder wooden snow-shovel several
sizes too big for him. He pulled the
bell in business-like way and when
she opened the door he said:
"Are you Christian ?"
"Ye-es" Gn surprise).
And do you believe that honest, ear
nest endeavor should be rewardod9"
"Ye-es."
Heretofore I've had a large and lucra-
tive practice in my profession, but this
year the elements are against me. L
know there's no snow on the premises,
but it's going to rain this afternoon.
and rain hard. Now I'll come back and
shovel the rain off your sidewalk for
quarter if you'll give me ten cents ad-
vance money. Is it go?"
YES, it's a CO." she said, as she
slammed the door in his face.
"And they say that genius and tact
win every time" he sighed, as hSshuf.
fled down the stoop.
In an Engllsn tneater, recently, the
orchestra between the acts was playing
very loudly, and two ladies in the front
row were endeavoring to converse at the
same time. They had to raise their
voices considerably, and as the orches-
ira suddenly reached low passage the
voice of one of the ladies became cruelty
distinct just as she remarked, Il wear
silk underclothes."
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-03-20

Those fellows who dote on their girls
sometimes find matrimony a powerful anti
dntn. Il 10
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-03-20

1T seems to be a divine right of women to
have man all to herself to boss and tanta
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-03-20

Truly the ways of women are past finding
out, but they are dear, delightful creatures
for all their lack of continuity.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-03-20

Its pity, girls that this year isn't leap
year. The prevailing influenza has brought
many hardened old bachelor to his sneeze.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-03-20

ONEr ENJOYS
Both the method and results when
Syrup Of Figs ID taken, It ispiessans
and Fefresbingto the taste. and acts
gentiyyetpromptiy On the Kldneys
Liver and Bowels, clennsee the sys'
TEN effectually, dispeis colds, head.
aches and fevers and cures habituai
constipation. Syrup Of Figs IN ihe
only remedy Of Its kind ever pro.
duced, pleasing to tbs taste and 80
ceptabls to the stomsoh, prompt in
its action and truly beneficial In iis
effects, prepared only from the most
healthy and agreeable substances,
its many excellent qualities com.
mend 1t to all and have made it
the most popular remedy known.
Syrup Of Figs is for sale in 900
and IL bottles by all leading drug.
gists. ANY reliable druggist who
may not have it on hand viii pro-
cure it promptly for any one who
wishes to try it. Do not accept
any substitute.
CALif0RRiA re syrup CO.
- sAa FRANCISCO: gAL. L,,. -
aovtsiikLk. Ky 80 -RsW YoRA AGk
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-03-20

We recommend "Tansill's Punch" Cigar.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-03-20

Very often it is necessary to make a
hole through plate of glass. This is
very easily done if you only know how.
Make q solution Of
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-03-20

Watch for Murray's Buggy ad. next week.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-03-20

DR.. Perce's Pellets regulate and cleanse the liver
stomach and bowels One dose Sold by druggists
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-03-20
Cutting Glass.

Moisten the drill, and it will worl
in glass like wax.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-03-20

CHICAGO fve-year-old boy (only
child Mamma, 1 wish you'd get me
little sister, I'm SO lonesome. Same
boy Cat o subsequent period, sitting up
right in his bed at 11:30 p. M, and
shaking his fist at his sweet little sister
in the next room)-If I'd known what
howler you were goin' to be, you can
just bet your life l never would have
ordered YOU.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-04-12
LATE NEWS In BRIEF.

Liberals gain a seat in Carnarvon.
| Emperor William visited Count Herbert
Bismarck yesterday.
| France suggests arbitrating the Newfound
land fisheries dispute
Captain F. G. Fecher, of the Eighth Caval
| ry, has been acquitted of drunkenness.
Mail Collector William Berrlnger was ar
rested at Toledo for robbing the mails.
| The penalty for polygamy in Canada has
been increased to five years Imprisonment.
-BellaIre window glass men are looking fol
substitute for natural gas. which is almost
| exhausted.
Mrs. Mary Emery has been arrested at
Belleville, Ont, for the murder of her husband
| last September.
have been expelled for participation in the re.
cent disturbances. F..
Ontario grain dealers are shipping large
quantities of barley into the United States to
eVade the proposed increase of duty.
The Pennsylvania Civil Service Associat tion
nnd much to condemn and little to praise in
the policy OF the present administration.
Willie Talbot, 16 years old, of Pineyille. La.
opened IRE on six men and women who had
borrowed his skif. He wounded four of the
party.
Socialist members of the Reichstag will
bration which the workingmen propose to hold
on Mayl.
Thomas Kerins, ex-Counciman of Brazil,
Ind, is charged with embezzling the funds of a
lodge of Catholic Knights, of which he was
Treasurer.
Owing to the recent embezzlement of 900. :
600 francs by the Treasurer of the Canton of
Tic1no the Liberals propose to impeach the
Cantonal Government
The President has approved the act making
an appropriation to supply the deficiency occa-
stoned by the defalcasion in the Office of the
late Sergeant at Arms
H. 8. Hopper, of Philadelphia has been
elected President of Bucknell University, to
fill the vacancy caused by the death of his
father-in-law, William Bucknell.
AT Philadelphia Peter Culkin and wife have
entered suit against the Philadelphia Traction
Company for So, QUO damages. Their 3-year-old
child was fatally injured by car March Il
Joseph L Taylor applied to Superintendent
Osborne for permission to show some friends
through the Evansville Und.) cotton mills
Upon being refused. Taylor shot Osborne
fatally.
Samuel Millmore, an ex-member of Select
Council, has been arrested at Bradford, Pa, on
the charge of embeZzlement as Treasurer of
Division No. j, Railroaders' BrotEerhoodD IL is
charged that he is short over 81, ,000.
Mrs. Griffith and daughter arrested at
Oswego, Kan. on suspicion of being the Ben
ders, have been released upon proving they
were serving sentences for manslaughrer at the
time the Bender murders were Committed.