Daily Republican. [volume] ([Wilmington, Del.]) 1874-1890, 1890-03-06
MIR. AND MRS. BOwsER.
By MRS. BowsER.

When ! have o sick headache l know
exactly what will happen when Mr..
Bowser reaches home. He will let him.
cell In ct tho lroat door, hang up bis
coat aud hat, walk through 70 the sitting
room and see me on the lounge with my
head tied up will gaze a. me for = full
minute without speaking. Then he will
finally remark:
"Dldn's ! tail ysu so9"
.'Yeu got your feet wet"
"Ob, no, Mr.. Bowser."
"Then you went out barchsaded, or
you have been eating ice-cream or some
other balderdssh."
ION the contrary, I have been very,
very careful"
"Oh. yes, you women are aiways very,
very careful. II . giant was to expose
himself the way You do he'd 10 dead in
SIX months. Had the doctor?"
''No."
fever get hold Of you don't you? What's
Dr.--'s telephone numbefr'
Don't call doctor. Ny head is mueh
better than II was, and shall be all
"Well. II you are not IN call two of
s9osAA eAtA nnvu y0u enou " viz uOpRit8ls
have no pity on any one who will 20
sloshing around the way you do. Iwss
intending to 20 to tho theatre tonight,
and here come home and ind you fiat.
toned ont, perhaps to develop case OF
yellow fever or small pox."
Mr.. Bowser goes trampihg around to
fnd fault with his supper, with the
cook, with the baby, with the furnace
aud with everything else which he hap.
pens to think Of, and the evening IL rem.
dered very cheerful and happy.
If / happened to be looking down the
street when Mr.. Bowser gets OF the car
can tell whether ho has . headache OF
not He comes slumping along, arms
hanging down, eyes on the sidewalk,
and as open the door for him he growls
ou.:
"Lemme get on to that lounge a. soou
Is possible.
"Why, what's the natter"
'I'm next door to deatbp
Have you been hurt, Mr.. BowserP'
mo. Got = headache. Whole top O.
my head 10 loose. think 1 am dyingl'
help him OF with his coat get him
on to tho lounge, pull of his CATERS
tuck him up, and then can't help say
ina: Didn't ] tell you sof'
"W- whai2"
s'You've been careless again. You sal
10 your office with your ieet out Of tn,
window, or you held . chunk of Ice IL
your lap. or you stood iu . puddle o
ws'er In your bare feet. It's . wonder
to me that any man lives TO the age o.
3d."
O-c-o-ohl" lie grosns.
"That'S It'll Got tho black plague OF
the Asiatic cholera hold of y.u, proba.
blyl was gong over to Mrs. Cato's to.
night to q progressive euchre, but this
spois IL all. III have three doctors UT
alter tea, aud have ths ambulance come
at the same time"
Then Mr.. Bowssr sheds tears, and 20
and heat brick for his feet, to q towel
around his head, send baby up stairs end
stop the clock so that nothing may as.
noy HIN.
don't suppose that one husband In q
hundred sets out t. find fault around the
house. It's just their way, you know.
They are boss, and they feel that they
must keep this fact duly impressed on
the minds OF their wives. No husband
IL ever 10 blame Tor any accident sbout
the house. The wife always IL. For In
stance, . water pioe down in the base
lnent bnrst tho other day. Mr.. Bowser
got home just ~ WAS about to telephone
him.
"Pipe bustedi Who busted it?" he
shouted, as he pulled of his overcast
"Why, no ono"
"Yes, they did, water-pipes don't
bust without hclpi Some OF you have
been knocking GU that pipe with ham
mer."
Invent down and showed him that the
leak was at point where none Of us
could possibly reach IL, but he replied:
well, come Of you are certainly to
blame for II. That's the way-the miaute
l Leave the house something happepsi
Now We shall have plumber around
here for week or more, with Q bill OF
iorty or fifty do!larsp
The back kitchen door had to DO taken
oil tho hinges aud planned oil little, and
In rehanging 1t Mr.. Bowser got In q
hurry and only put one screw In the
lower hinge. The cook found the Others
and laid them aside. One day, after be
askew, as might have been expected.
"Now, what have you donts shouted
Mr.. Bowser to me rs the cock came Ia
and reported.
ell du't break the door,"
"You tidn'tl Then who did?"
"You didn't put the screws back when
you iehupg II"
II dldn'u I'll bet you billion dollars
l did. You or the cook went delIber-
atsly TO work and took those screws out
In order to destr0y something. II Is a
wonder we have = roof lett over our
heads. Next thing you'll be knocking
down some OF the partition walls"
One day . center-piece On one oil TIE
bedroom ceilings foil t- the floor. Know
Ing Mr. Bowser's peculiAlities lett mat
terra untouched until he came home "
dinner.
"Tbis Ia nice state of aIa'rsp' he sx-
claimed a. he looked into tie bedroom.
why didn't you kuook all the chin
neys OF the house while you were about
What did 1 have TO do with 1t, Mr..
Bowseri"
weren't y u right here all the timsa
Did do III Did baby do M Did some
Of the no ghbors come IN and knock 1t
down with . crowbarP"
ut fell because 1t was poorly put up In
the frat place."
ut fell, Mrs. Bower, becsuse you got
the step-ladder and climbed up through
the scuttls-hols and went walking across
the joists In the attic. expect 70 come
bcme any day and 6nd tine house In