Waterbury evening Democrat. [volume] (Waterbury, Conn.) 1887-1895, 1890-04-28
DOMESTIC OAORe4


DISASTERS ThAAuOveEeoek Two Mea WA0o
Per6ofAing Them.
A gentleman who resides upon one Of
the South side avenues was recently
made the victim Of the family ohoeo
habit, says the Philadelphia News.
This habit, a. many married men know,
Is the fault Of their wives, who ask them
TO do such domestic duties - splitting
ktndAns. carrying up coal, amateur
carpentry and plumbing and the IKE.
This particular mans wife had been
bounding him for weeks to administer
necessary coat Of varnish to the hard
wood stairs in the house. One night he
came home with brush. A week later,
after number OF curtain lectures from
his better-half, he came home with Q
can OF varnish. He found he would
need something to thin 1t, and it was
still another week before he procured
this necessary Ingredient. Then, al
though he had all the materials ut hand,
he kept postponing the vanishing from
day to day until the varnish nearly dried
up in the can.
But one morning our hero arose from
his downy couch and made up his mind
to get the job OF his hands. Not caring
to soil his clothes, he resolved to TO to
work in his undergarments, so he girded
up his loins, sought his varnish and
brush and started in ON the top step of
the back stairway. Slowly he anointed
each separate step until he reached the
lower hallway. Meantime his wife had
tripped down the front stairway and
was preparing breakfast As she said
1t would not be ready for some time, her
husband thought he would varnish the
front stairs also. He mounted to the
top and vanished down to the bottom.
Then his wife called to him that he had
better dress for the morning meal II
was only at this point that he realised
the predicament in which he had placed
himself. His outer garments were all
upstairs and both stairways were COW
cred with fresh varntsh. He swore .
little and ate his breakfast en- dishabillo.
Then he sat in the parlor until one .. N.
before the varnish dried sufficiently for
him to walk upstairs over ii and dress
himself. Next time he viii varnish up
ward.
When the little, round, fot man with
the gurgling laugh heard this story he
chuckled like nutmeg CRATER. IT
know all about that economical dressing
up OF the house," he said. Last spring
our kitchen needed papertng, and /
told my wife could do 1t much cheaper
than we could hire it done. While she
admired my good intention she looked
trifle doubtful, but she said nothing,
and went downtown and picked out
the paper. It was big load TO carry
home, but as I had started in to eoono-
mize I perspired under the burden
rather than hire IN expressman. About
nine p. NJ, after the hired girl had re-
tired, shucked OF my clothes and ap-
peared In regular ballet costume. I
made my paste with about half q barrel
OF 9s dour and started in.
"About 1880 p. m. my wife looked in
on me and said there was no need Of my
papering the stove and the floor, both Of
which were covered with paste. told
her to go to bed and leave me alone
Then fell from the step-ladder on to .
length of paper, and arose to find 1t
firmly stuck all along my spine. Just
imagine the back breadth Of my red
flannel undershirt full of blue hya-
cinths! Along about two a. m. found
had papered half of the walls, all Of
the floor and a majority Of myself.
was mad and tired and l went to bed.
In the morning | had to remove the
sheets with an ink eraser. Then went
out and hired scrub-woman and pro-
fessional paper-hanger. 1t cost me 50
to paper my kitchen. and Two quit"