The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1890-01-28
THE ADULLAMITES.
Every One That was in Distress and
Every One That was in Debt. and
Every One That was DiscOntented,
Gathered Themselves Unto Him."
(Continued.)


s'Fellow-citizens l feel the liveliest
| satisfaction | assure you, in meeting you
| here this evening. l feel assured
by your coming together this even
| ing, knowing who you are to meet,
that you will stand together at the
polls. l commend your forbearance
! toward each other. When l see such
men as Garibaldi and Charley the
Trooper striking hands, think it tore
shadows the Millennium" Cries of
down with the missionary. 81 beg
your pardon gentlemen. AS was going
to say when l see the Scion from Wal
amaze, reconciled with General Defici-
ency, it seems to foreshadow victory
at the polls" (Deafening applause.
"This, gentlemen, is the spirit in which
you must work. Lay aside all past diff
ferences." (Applause). "Forget that
there is a past and that you and your
associates have any past records" ZAP
plause and cries of hear, hear. clay
aside all religious, social, industrial and
political differences and principles, and
work only for victory" prolonged APP
plause and cries of hear, hear. In nom
mating a ticket tonight hope you will
keep constantly in mind getting votes,
laying all other considerations aside"
The Elder sat diligently rubbing his
knees in nervous expectancy, while
Garibaldi near at hand twirled his SYM
pathetic moustache and glanced furtively
about with an oblique grin on his classic
countenance. When Moses ceased speak
ing Shrub popped up and with an oily
smirk and a bob here and a bob there
said
81 have decided at great financial loss
District One. My country calls me and
| must 90. I have toiied for the poor
natives long and well collecting rents
for Her Majesty l have made re-
markable record as cabinet officer, and
you must all admit that it is very desir-
able that there should be at least one
good man on the ticket who can act as
Minister of the INTERIOR
''No, l wont keep still either. Say
Elder, what do you know about making
roads and building bridges?" jerked in
Cuspidor. "And what do you know,
Cussy, about making spittoons?" re-
joined the Elder.
Moses stemmed the turbulence by
jumping on the table and shouting,
Doodle! Doodle! Don't you see that
the Missionaries have been showing us
for two years how to build bridges and
make roads, and that all we have to do
now that the machinery is moving SO
slick, is Just to follow their example?
Besides, most of the bridges have been
built already, though Providence seems
against us on Kauai"
you're right, you are Moses" chuck
led the Scion from Waianae, at which
def little pleasantly, which all seemed to
understand, the audience melted and
smiled all around.
A mOmentary pause ensued during
which all seemed Illuminating on the |
prospect of nomination on the ticket so
auspiciously startled, when, 10, Carl
baldi slowly assumed a standing posi- |
ton, not as military and erect as of yore, |
being apparently stricken with ''la |
grippe" and after hemming and wiping |
his hands as though washing the past |
away, spoke as follows:
81 am dociled at Palama, at least |
was once, and it was from District Five |
that THAT well, I think the |
kanakas in District Five know all |
about my readiness to offer my |
services on the altar of my country. You |
all know Pm no mis-si-o-na-ry-ta sar-
donic grim and that adore my country
and my people. "a furtive glance.
"Garibaldi no ka BEST" shouted D. |
w. Blossom from District Five. There
was noisy alteration going on in the |
rear which babe fair to break up the |
meeting.
ats case of political necessity"
sounded out the diplomatic tones of Ex-
cusable Conspiracy Duty.
Political necessity piped the Cuspi-
dor. eve want Doodle. Do you hear?
Throw Physic to the dogs. We can
swallow Garibaldi and don't you forget
it. He knows how to pull votes, and I'll
60 round with him in my little brake,
and by and by there'll be walls and walls
and few posts too, and then I'll SMILE"
grinned Johnny Contract. "I'll squeeze
him like an orange" Missed the Elder,
and when Pm through with him III
throw him away"
''Ta ta," said Flip Demarest. "Hear
what the great and only original Moses
is saying"
GAS l was just saying, natives all want
poi. Its national dish, and we must
have one man on the ticket whom the
natives will consider national candi-
date, and so as we cant find anyone else
for District two l present the name OF
W. H. Poipalau. And now, continued
Moses, let us make this nomination
Whereat Poipalau, being something of
a dark horse, was nominated with or eat
the applause evidently serv
ing as means OF relief to the depressed
spirits of the weary workers.
At this point Cu5pidor stepped quietly
up to the table and held whispered
conference with Moses, all others main
tanning a respectful silence. Then Moses
arose and addressed the meeting as fol-
lows:
Gentlemen, it seems to me that you
are about to forget that our ticket was to
represent no class, clique, set, doctrine,
principle or policy. Now, you all know
that the Chinese question is one on
which men are divided. Yet three can
didates have been nominated who were
recently in partnership with the Chinese
in little political enterprise. This will
ALLEVIATE votes if we do not do something
to offset the impression that our ticket
will represent political principles. No
man will serve you better for this pur
pose than Mr.. T. Z. Cuspidor. He is
anxious to run and will run anywhere
YOU choose and on any platform.
This speech called forth tumultuous
applause, at the close of which three
cheers were given for Cuspidor Moses
declared that it was not necessary to take
any vote on this nomination, as it was