The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1890-09-20
COMBING THE COLONEL

C0MBlNG THE COLONEL.
There was a great political ferment in
Simpson county, KY, over the approach |
ing election of a county judge. The
nominating convention was to meet on
Saturday, and on Friday night two well |
known politicians caught in a rain storm
stopped at the house of old John Perdue
The politicians, Maj Bloodgood and
Col Noix, were sly candidates for the
coveted position--so sly, in fact, that
neither one knew of the schemes Of the
other.
After supper, while old John and his
guests were sitting on the porch talking
over the coming struggle and listening
to wet katydid that held vesper ser
vices in locust tree, old John, getting
up and stretching himself, said to the
major:
"Let me see you moment please"
The major followed him to the end of
the gallery. Major" old John whis-
pered, 81 am compelled to tell you some
thing. You gentlemen are welcome to
stay with me as long as you like, but
ability to accommodate cannot always
be measured by willingness to do so.
The truths haven't but one spare bed,
"But can't the colonel and sleep to-
gether?" the major rejoined.
eyes, you can, but the truth is the
colonel is awfully peculiar"
"How so?"
"Well, as rational as he appears while
stirring about he's strange man in bed
Our families, you know, are well ac-
quainted, and | therefore know all about
him. pecufarty comes from II scare
he received when he was child 1t
seems that dog once tried to bite him,
and now, just before he dozes off to
sleep, he begins to growl, and unless
something is done to stop him he begins
to bite fearfully.'
"Humph, the major grunted, that's
odd, but what can be done to stop him
after he begins to growl2'
"Well, his brother told me how he
used to work it. He always took a coarse
comb to bed with him and would rake
the colonel with it when he began to
| growl. AS strange as it may seem, it
was the only thing that would quiet him
The family doctor said that comb was
somehow the only thing that would start
the blood to circulating"
That's very odd And would itquiet
himY'
"Would make him act Just like a
lamb. Why, he uster insist that his
brother should take the comb to bed with
him. He don't like to have any one
mention the frealish misfortune, as he
always terms it. but it would be doing
him great favor If you would take the
comb to bed with you and give him q
rake in case he should begin to growl.
am telling you this because | am youl
friend. and because know that you are
good timber, and especially because
hope that you may secure his influence
if you should ever desire any office
Don't you know that we always respect
the man that understands our peculiar
tiles before we are asked to explain then
to him? He is sensitive that way, and il
he sees that you understand him he vii
then know that you have had your ey,
on him, have held him in your mind.
"All right. You get me the comb
and viii go through with the cere
mony when the time comes
Here's one,,put it in your pocket"
They returned to the colonel, and afte
"a while, when the major stepped into tn
house to get a drink of water, the oil,
man said;
"You and the major are good friends
am glad to see"
"Yes - replied the colonel 81 thin
he Is a first rate fellow"
"Glad you like him, for you and h
win have to sleep together tonight. 70
the fact is have only one spare bed"
"That will he all right reckon, sal
. the colonel.
"Yes, but the truth is the major
the most peculiar fellow you ever saw.
"ln what wayy
''As a bedfellow. am very intimat
with his family and know all about hin
7 It seems that he had nervous troubl
C when he was "A boy, and could not go
% sleep until some one growled like dog
have known him to lie tossing in be
for hours at time, and then when
would go to his bed and growl he Woul
doze OFF like lamb,
81 never before heard Of an atiiictio
SO strange" said the colonel.
a 81 either, but then it is a very eas
"a matter to relieve him He and fello'
~ named Buck johnson were once oppo
D ing candidates for prosecuting attorne,
Well, they had TO sleep together on
night Buck knew Of his peculiar affli
ton. and shortly after they went to be