Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1890-09-13
The LIME.KILN CLUB.
Brother Consider smith on Trial for
His Life.

His Life.
From the Detroi, Free Pre.a
No sooner had the members begun to put in
m appearance at Paradise Hall than an out
slider would have caught on TO the fact
that something Of grave importance vas on
the carpet. Elder Tooss walked about with
his hands crossed under his coat tails and his
face blank. Judge Discovery Smith busted
himself looking over . lot Of legal docu-
ments. and Shindig Watkins. Eight-Hour
johnson, Remember Taylor and Samuel
Shin conversed together in low tones and
shook their heads in a grave and sorrowful
manner. Giveadam Jones generally upsets
the stove, knocks down the pipe. breaks a
pane Of glass or smashes a lamp in his
exuberance of spirits, bu. on this Occasion
he entered the hall very softly and put in his
time reading a novel, entitled The Bloody
Big Toe Of the Dark Heel Rsvine."
II was only when the meeting had been for
mally opened that an explanation of the mys-
terry was had. Brother Gardner looked sad
but full OF business, as he mounted to his sta.
ton. and when the wheels had been properly
gre ased he said:
.'Gem'len, we hasn't met heah dis cavenin'
to listen TO an essay or lecktur by some famous
man. We hasn't met 20 do bizness consarnin
de welfar' of dc world in gineral an de United
states IN parhckler. De occasion Is one full Of
sadness. Not dat we hey lost a brudder by de
hand OF de grim destroyer but dat we mus put
Twin brudder on trial fur his life. De facts
am pohably known TO all Of you De commit
tee on internal harmony has sartin charges to
prefer agin Brudder Consider Smith, an he
will be lowed a chance to prove hisseif limo
cent"
The above named committee. through its
chairman, Col Glucose Green, then read the
/. Having spoken of Brother Gardner n a
charlatan.
2. Renting box at The post Office.
3. Going in and out various hanks without
any other errand than to make people believe
he is a depositor.
4. Claiming TO strangers who visit Paradise
Hall that he runs things there.
8. Borrowing money of members Of the club
and neglecting to repay the same.
6. Alleging that Brother Gardner was cutting
his cloth to secure the next presidency.
z. Advising various members to split of from
the old club aud form a new one, the constitu-
ton of which should provide for . banquet
at every meeting.
common property.
lis de accused ready for trial?" asked the
president az the reading Of the charges was
"Hs ar" replied Brother Smith . he
stepped forward.
VERY we'll We will now take ND charge
No. l. How do you plead?"
Guilty, sab, but guilty bekase didn't know
what 'charlatan' meant when used de word
l heard one white lawyer call anodder by dat
name, an l s'posed it meant dat he knowed
about all dere was TO- know. dun used it to
compliment you, sah."
I'm! 1t may be possible. I'll decide il dat
way, but let dis be a warnin' to you bout usin'
bullets too big to fit dc bore Of de gun. Charge
No. 2"
''Not guilty, sab. I nebber had no box at
a 4 f0F kals
had"
"0h! Wall. de charge can't stand, but il will
be de giniral opinyan Of dis club dat you has
made fool of yourself. Charge No. s."
TIE done guilty, sab. but Tze sorry fur il. z"
''Sorry fur it-yes! Brudder Smith. when a
pusson who hain't got loose quarter in his
pockets ID seen gwine inter q bank wild his hat
cooked on his ear what is de inference? What
you gwine to expect? How you gwine to fgger
it out? You'se gwine to fgger dat he's maxim
put him down fur bad, bad man. You stand
convicted of de charge. Charge No. f."
"rze nebber dun claimed TO run Paradise
Hall, sab. TIE showed visitors around an rze
explained things, hut Fze allus been keerful to
say dat was way down to de tail end Of de
swell, well declar' you innocent OF dat
charge, but let dis be solemn warnin fur You
not to blow your nose too loud an step too
high. Charge No. s."
Il mas DOrTOWeu money OF Some OF the mcm-
bers, sab, but TIE Gwine to repay it jess % soon
as possible"
:rd advise You to do 30. I'll pass de charge,
but it's annoder warnin' to YOU. De consti-
tushunal money borrower is q man to be de-
spised an Stunned. Charge No. G."
what dun said was dis: said dat you
would make better president dan any odder
man in de kentry."
car you shore you said dasa" asked Brother
Gardner.
''Of co'se said it."
well, I'll pass dat charge ober. Charge No.
II Jess said one day dat the club was gittin'
too big, an dat we all went home hungry"
TOO big. eh? An you was hungry! You
didn't say dis till arter you was fined $500 for
spittin' on de stove2'
mo, sah."
4 see. De charge stands. How about No. 81"
II dun said dat de Lawd made everything
for the use OF man, fowls included"
.'You meant wild fovls?"
"Y-yes, sab"
'You didn't refer to fat pullets in Somebody
hen coop?"
"N-no, sab"
'Brudder Smith. do you pertend to say your
conscience wouldn't trouble you il you broke
| into hen house an card away bag Of
chlckens?"
"I-I-rd rather not say. sah."
ooh! You 10 convicted OF charge No. 9, and
now fine you s2S, 900 an declar' you to be sus-
pended until the same is paid IN full"
'Lawd save me, sab, but can't nsbber pay
itr'
Oats your lookout, an you has had VERY
narrow escape rs Is is. Had you been convicted
on all de charges you would have bin given
bounce from dis club to make you tired all the
rest OF your BON days. You now has . show
to get back"
"I-I--r
Brother Smith waved his arms and tried TO
speak, but emotion overcame him and he sank
down in heap. When he bad been carried
out into the ante-room Brother Gardner said
IF DER am any odder brother In dis club
who am inclined to CAB, let dis be q waruin' to
him. Between de man who steals my chickens
an de man who talks too much wild his mouf
favor de former. He isn't halt as dangerous TO
de peace an harmony Of society. We viii now
60 home"
OBEDIENCE TO THE DEATH.