davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1890-08-14
A Chip.

Johnnie" said prominent mine
operator to his youngest the other day,
I'll give you dollar if you'll dig up
the front yard all ready for your sisters
new garden"
'sAll right said Johnnie. thought
fully; but [ shall have to ask for p
per cent of the contract price in adj
vance. Not as an evidence of good
faith, but for working capital
Work-What do you mean?"
well, you see, | guess I'll just bury
the quarter somewhere, and tell all the
boys in the neighborhood that pirate
hid some treasure round there. When
they strike that quarter they'll make
the dirt fly. can tell you. In that way
l can clean up about % per cent. In
fact /"
We'll, what?''
In fact,I don't know but what can
also arrange so as to find that quarter
myself I'll work it just like that salt.
ed mine you were telling mamma
about unloading on the street, last
night"
And the father wept tears of joy as
he thought what a cold day it would be
for Jay and Rufus when his boy grew
up.-De7Tick DOdd IN Puck.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1890-08-14
Happened in Toledo.

Ayoung man in corduroy pantaloons
and with the bloom of foreign coun.
try still lingering on his cheek, told
the following story at police headquart
ers yesterday, says the Detroit Free
Press.
You see, | was waitin' in a daypot,
as you folks call it, down ere in a town
called Toledo, when a bloomin' young
gal comes hup to me hand says:
"'Cou}d hax a great favor of YOU,
young man?"
"'YOu could, saws |.
'"Hare you fighter?" says she.
"'Sunthink of one, says |, ''havino
taken twenty-four lessons in boxin' OF
the Liverpool Kid, hand having pat
hup me dukes along with several good.
uns.'
"'Then sit beside me, young man.
hand protect me from a duffer who is
takin' hadvantage of the fact that
ham hall alone ere in this daypot.
IN do it says I, hand hif he
dares to wink at you hagain I'll bust
the bloomin' cad of himself wide
hopen.'
Hand I sat. Hand she sat. Hand
hat an our, without no bloomin' duffel
shown hup, [ took the train for this
town, hand arrived ere to find that
lad neither watch nor wallet That
bloomin' young gal 'ad despoiled me. ,
''Well?"
well, that's hail, hexcept that
should like to strike a job, hand that
'ereafter the bloomin' young women
hof America will not pull wool hover
the heyes hof yours truly.n
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1890-08-14
The Duchess Won.

The London clubs are laughing over
the story of the Duchess of Montrose
and Mrs. Bancroft. The Duchess en-
gagged st. Georges Hall one night to
rehearse a company of amateurs for
society entertainment at her home.
On her Graces arrival at the hall she
found the stage in the possession of
Mrs. Bancroft who was rehearsing a
professional company in piece writ
ten by herself. The Duchess said,
haughtily:
This is my stage and | want it.
Mrs. Bancroft replied sweetly: mo,
Duchess, the stage is mine and | want
it,
Il say, woman, it's my stage" shout
ed the Duchess.
''Then take it, =" smiled the actress.
The Duchess then called up her anna
teurs and began rehearsing at one side
of the stage. The actress called up
her professionals and continued re-
hearsing on the other. At last the
Duchess, losing patience, began to use
language more forcible than polite.
The actress tried hard to give the
Duchess as good as she sent, but was
no match for her horsy grace; SO draw
ing her skirts well above her ankles
she looked the Duchess up and down.
then turned to her company and
said: Ladies and gentlemen, let us
leave these common people" and so
departed under a volley from the
Duchess. The hall had been let to
hOtn
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1890-08-14
BERMUDA NOT FERTILE.
Onions the Only Article That Is Raised in
Abundance.

Bermuda brings to the minds of most
people vision of tropical luxuriance,
says ''Templeton" in!the Boston Herald.
1t is not a tropical island at all. 1t is
only semi-tropical. The tropical trees
and plants here, with the exception of
the banana, live ust as long as they
are cherished and watched with care
full culture. There is nothing spontane-
Gus in their growth and they never
spread to much extent, even under the
aiding process. There are a limited
number of palm trees of the different
varieties and a few handsome ones are
among them. The palmetto and paw
paw are seen. The India-rubber and
the calabash tree are represented by a
few specimens and the former in one
or two cases has grown to great size.
But none Of these trees looks as if it
belonged in Bermuda. Their appear
ance is very much as if they were set
out in one of our own gardens in the
summer season. | scarcely saw
an orange or lemon tree on the islands.
In fact there is but one tree that seems
indigenous to the soil of Bermuda. 1t
is the cedar. This grows to consid-
cradle size and it grows spontaneously.
Ii there is any other tree that does, it
escaped my observation.
The soil everywhere is thin, COM
posed of red loan, and it is not fer
tile. Instead of the luxuriant richness
l expected find the islands barren.
They grow nothing in abundance but
the onion. Not even grass is raised to
any extent. The tomato comes to
useful maturity and a limited number
of potatoes are raised, Of which white
and sweet are both good, but the
islands import everything else. Aside
from the banana, which is smaller in
size than that to which we are ac-
customed, there is no fruit here which
has not been imported. l have not
seen Bermuda orange or lemon, to
say nothing of figs or pomegranates.
An islander would almost have to in
quire what a strawberry was if he saw
it; the peach, the apple, the plum are
here only by importation. You see
everything in air and climate to sug-
gest fertility and the soil denies it all.
Bermuda is far behind Boston in the
possession of fruits, vegetables, meats,
and game for the table, except always
the all-pervading onion. They do not
! even keep cows enough to supply the
people. and for their eggs and poultry
they send very large. y to the continent.
| looked at least to the fish for some
compensation. Here, too, was disap-
pointment The ocean fish are not
anything like as good in Bermuda as
either in Boston or New Orleans.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1890-08-14
TWO COPPER CENTS.
Row They Found Each Other After Many
Years.

We were minted the same day, in
1885. One of us bought a paper al.
most, as soon as we left the mint. The
other went into a rich young fellows
pocket ''for luck" he said The young
fellow was on his way to Europe. The
cent that bought the paper bought a
cents worth of milk for the newsboy'S
mother. Then the grocer paid it out
to an expressman, with some silver. il
got in with its betters, and was uncom.
Portable until it got into a bar-roon
'tlll." After that it led lowly life.
For years the owner of the bar-roOm
kept it on the table when he played cards
with his customers. He said it was his
"lucky penny"
One night, late, middle-aged man
came in begging. Without thinking Q,
its owner for fifteen years tossed it to
the beggar with an oath. That was all
he got there. The cent went into his
pocket. He was poor. From that time
he began to grow rich. The cent got
credit for his good luck. Though I'm.
fortunate itself. it had always brought
luck to others. 1t never left its las
owner. | saw him grow from a poor
to rich man, and from middle-aged
to an old miser. The more he cot the
more he wanted. There was nothing
short of murder he would not do fol
money. He robbed his best friends,
and they never knew it. lie passed fol
a good man. He was the greatest,
the most magnificent hypocrite that
lived. This is what he used to whis
per to his smooth, shining, and lucky
penny.
Well, the other penny stuck to the
young fellow on his way through Eu.
rope. When he came back, after hap
py years of wandering, he had velvet
case made for the lucky cent. The
first day it left his pocket for the case
he was killed in runaway. His things
went to this one and that, and the cent
was shot at in shooting gallery for {
number of years. No bullet ever
struck it. Everybody knew that, anc
everybody wanted it. So it was finally
sold for 81, and lost by the gambler
who bought it, and found by the miser
and it went into the latter's pocke
and found its twin after fifty-fve
years. Two nights ago the miser
choked to death on piece of hard
bread. They came and placed him il
a coffin. They could not close his hor
rible eyes until they thought of two
copper cents.
So, here we are, in our coffin, divided
by a nose, holding down the lids of ;
dead mans eyes.-Ch0tter.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1890-08-14

names have been forgotten; Out shelr
ideas and aspirations live on. Washed
in the blood of suffering, such ideas and
aspirations have become the dream Of
every man in whose brain a thought
stirs and in whose breast heart BEATS
The press censor, when he burned
Prugavin's book, thought that he had
destroyed forever its 'pernicious' infiu-
ence; but the ideas and aspirations of
the gifted author live on and his
words, although burned by order OF
Government in Russia, will appeal to
hundreds of thousands of sympathetic
hearts in England and the United
States.
Sometime in the far-distant future
the free Russian patriot, no longer
blinded by the censorship of the press,
will look over the pages of his national
history that record these attempts to
gag public opinion and strangle human
thought, and will wish from the bot
tom OF his heart that so humiliating
and shameful a record might be black.
ed out. "
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1890-08-14
Spring Sanitation.

Clean out the cellar. At this season
of the year when all nature is busiIy
engaged in renovating everything out
of doors. it is time that we were follow
ing her example in the house.
Whitewash may be abundantly and
cheaply supplied, and there is no reason
why it should not be literally applied.
There is an odor of cleanliness about
whitewash, but better still it is cleanli-
ness itself and likewise a deodorizer
and disinfectant.
Let the cellar walls be first scrubbed
down and then thoroughly doused with
whitewash. Remove all fostering veg
etables, for remember that even in
sprouting potatoes to be used for seed
there are present myriad germs of dis
ease.
At this time, too, care should be TAX
en- that the cellar drains are in proper
working order, for during the Winter
they frequently become clogged, and
until cleared are unable to carry off
the Spring rains. Such drains are
often sources of danger if, as is some
times the case, they lead to or discharge
into cesspools where disease-dealing
sewer gas is generated. See to it that
such gas can not 'back-up'' into the
cellar or gain access to the house by
means of the drain from the kitchen
sink.
The latter household nuisance should
also be carefully looked after, and, as
often before advised in these columns,
it is perhaps better to do away with a
81, o1+ o~o+har A cr-il- no 1,,ol
upon wheels may be made to do the
work of the sink drain. It can be kept
just below the kitchen window, and have
a pipe from the sink discharging into
it. The barrel should be emptied daily
upon some part of the garden where it
will do good by means of the fertilizing
matter it contains.
The house we'll and cistern should be
carefully cleaned out and guarded
against the influx of any noxious fluids
from the out-houses or manure piles.
1t is often noticed that the water is
not clear for certain length of time
after the cleaning of the we'll. This
trouble may be remedied by emptYing
few pounds of boraX in the well.
The throwing out of Stops around the
house should be prohibited on every
weH-ordered farm, as the practice is
very apt to lead to disease among the
members of the family.
Good san tation is also necessary in
and around the stock barns and sheds,
for unless such places are kept clean
the atmosphere of the home surround
ings must of necessity be tainted all
Summer. Again, when manure is left
to rankle and leach during Summer in
the neighborhood of the barnyard well,
| the water in the latter becomes pollut-
ed, and the milk of the cows drinking
it cannot be expected to be absolutely
| healthful.
Spring sanitary measures should in
clude everything in and around the
| farmhouse and out-buildings, and are
so important that the time spent in
carrying them out is used to good adj
vantage .-F'arnaers' ReUieao.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1890-08-14
"BIacked Out"

Speaking of the Russian censorship
Mr.. George KEENAN,, in an article ir
the Century, says: What does the
Russian Government hope or expect tc
accomplish by 'blacking out articles
that aim sim ply to tell the truth With
regard to Russian affairs, and by
throwing into prison every man in
whose possession such articles may be
found?
The Russian author Prugavin. in a
book that was inadvertently sanctioned
by the press censor, but that was af
terward seized and burned, asks the
same question. and says: Can an idea
be choked to death? Can thought be
killed, buried, or annihilated? Are not
trsth, and love, and justice, and free
dom immortal? 1t is the most terrible
of mistakes to suppose that ideas can
ever be crushed People have persisted
men have died in chains and case
mates. their bodies have decayed, their
graves have been lost, and their very
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1890-08-14
Appearance of a Woman's Foot.

On the princi pie that .'Alrs well that
ends well, the appearance of wom-
ans foot is of supreme Importance
Treat your shoes tenderly. Have one
pair sacred to rainy weather. for rub
bers ruin fine leather. Avoid varnish
and backing of all kinds, and substi-
tute vaseline. First, rub your shoes
with piece of old. black silk, then ap-
ply the yasellne with soft, black kid
glove. Ii you insist on your dress
maker facing your gowns with velvet
or velveteen instead of braid. you will
lessen your shoemaker'S bills and be
saved from the purple blemish on the
lnstep caused by the movements of the
skirts in walking. When buttons come
Off don't hunt up old shoes and use the
shabby buttons, but invest five cents in
card Of shining black beauties, and
have them ready for emergencies. One
old button spoils the style of a shoe.
Caters are charitable things and cover
multitude of defects. Half-worn
boots will last long time under their
kindly protection. Now is a good time
to buy them, and in most shops you can
get pair for one dollar and sixty-tive
cents. To save your evening shoes ard
slippers invest in pair of white fleece
lined arctic boots, which will cost two
dollars, but save ten times that amount
IN carriage hire and medicine, not TO
mention the shoes themselves. After
removing your shoes put them in cor
rect position by pulling up the uppers
and tapping the flap over and fasten-
ing one or two buttons. Then pinch
the instep down to the toe, bringing
the fullness up instead of allowing it to
sag down into the slovenly breadth of
half-worn foot gear. A boot that is
kicked off and left to lie where it falls,
or is thrown into the closet, will soon
lose shape and gloss. jay, in
Ladies' Home Journal.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1890-08-14

ed off in such hurry that the boiling
of the water nearly threw me off nv
feet. Of course, there may be cases
where very large shark might attack
a diver; but if he should attack one
wearing the modern divers helmet or
armor, | think the shark would have a
hard time of Hopper and glass would
not make very good mouthful,' said
the diver, laughing.
"A friend of mine had funny ex-
perience. He was walking on sandy
bottom. when suddenly he was lifted
upward, then thrown backward, and,
but for his pike, would have fallen.
For few seconds the water was not
clear. Then he saw that the cause of
his upset was a big skate that had
been lying partly buried in the sand
asleep perhaps. He had stepped
with his leaden shoes right on its back.
Among the strange things that
may be seen by divers is the ocean for
est, off the eastern coast. The sandy
bottom there is covered with the hard
ened roots of great trees, and in some
instances parts of trunks are standing,
showing that the coast there must have
settled, and that the sea has rolled in
over the land
Sometimes we go down at night,
and then the scene under water is often
beautiful sight. Every jelly-ish and
living creature seems TO be ablaze with
light; your rope appears to be on fire,
and every motion makes the water
glimmer. The crabs and fishes sparkle,
many with a light of their own. So,
you see, instead OF being dark and
barren place, as the majority of people
seem to regard it, the ocean, even at
the greatest depths, is probably made
bright by the very animals that most
need the light. Charles Frederjcb H0l
der in 81 NichnLns
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1890-08-14
Diving, Off the Florida Coast.

''The seas are famous for their fishes.
and many were beauties, being striped
with bright green, yellow, blue, and
red. Others had long streamers, and
looked like the harlequins and column
bines in pantomimes. l noticed that
there was the greatest difference be-
TWEEN them in their habits. Some were
shy, and darted away at the slightest
motion; while others seemed to think
me huge fish, and came near me as if
curious to see what was like. Some
swan over my arms and let me move
my hands toward them. But most
were shy. As to the stories of sharks,
they are in the main not true. l have
had shark come within five feet of
re, acd when l raised my arm it dart
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1890-08-14
Electric Lights in England.

The use of electric lights is increasing
with great rapidity among the Lon
don shopmen. A walk down the Strand
or Oxford street after dark will show
that every second or third store has
now given up gas, which would have
been entirely. superseded some time
ago if if it were not so cheap. Many
of the other citi s in England are now
using the arc light, and at Brighton it
is almost universal.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1890-08-14
A Great Subterranean River.

Near Meirs. in the department of the
Lot, between Auvergne and the Gar
pone, the course of a subterranean
river has been traced in a boat for
distance of over two kilometers- say
$500 feet. Seven small lakes and
thirty-two waterfalls were passed in
the exploring voyage made in a small
boat 1t is estimated that the UNDER
ground course is fully seven kilometers,
the stream joining the Dordogne near
st. Denis Martel. 1t is to be remem-
bered that all that region is of lime
stone formation. = Engineering and
Mining Journal
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1890-08-14
Boys by the Cord.

In the neighborhood of Harris road
Fla. there are two families with six
teen boys. one having nine and the
other seven, and none of the parents
are yet 40 Years old.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1890-08-14

Paris cab-drivers. driven to despair by
the increasing popularity of omnibuses,
have established new rate of l cent
minute for short distance riders.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1890-08-14

A girl down in Maine regularly shaves
her grown-up brothers.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1890-01-24
She Got 1t.

1t was in a book store. She came
in with a businesslike air. She
knew what she wanted.
81 want to see the sets OF books
you have for SALE
"Madam, we have a good many
What author?'
"It is one of those dollar anc
six bit SETS
eyes, wo have many OF them
What set do you want ?"
81 want the set that's got LESS
Miserables' in It,"
81 beg your PARDON
"Iess Miserables,' | said"
"Oh, you mean Les Miserables 2
"'Liaz Miserables.' All right
l guess that's it. A dollar and si'
bits.r-SGn Francisco Chronicle.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1890-01-24

ry as they embraced and kissed
each other. MaGge cried as hard
as eyer she could, but Harry had
suffered the least OF all, aud was
simply delighted to be with his
sister once more. He had told his
auntie that he thought he had bet
ter be going home that morning,
and as Mrs. Holman had requested
them to take him home as soon as
he expressed a desire to return'
his wishes were complied with.
l will only add that the lesson
was long remembered and "tbey
all lived happy forever atter," as
the old stories alwas ended.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1890-01-24
Father and Son.

There WAS an educational scene
down at the depot the other day,
between a man and a boy, but II
WAS the man that needed the edu'
cation, not the boy. The boy came
there to meet his father, AMI failed
to bring some piece of baggage
which was expected. 81 did Just
as you told me, papa" said the 1T
tie fellow, who was a manly little
chap. Il told John to get 1t and
put it in the carriage, and he didn't
do It,"
81 don't believe you're telling me
the TRUTH" said the father, in
loud, bullying tone. "You forgot
to say abont it, and when l gel
home III settle with YOU"
"But, father, I did"
"Hush up" said the man sternly
while the boys cheeks flushed and
his eyes filled with tears.
At that moment the man John
who seemed to be family factotum
or coachman, came into the depo'
and the father asked him about the
matter.
erred is right, sir" said the man
candidly ; she told ME about 1t
but l had a good bit to do, an l
slipped my mind. You can blam'
me, sir, fits wrong
Did the father then turn to Ill
son and ask to be excused 10
doubling his word and speaking
so harsh ly7 Not a bit of it. Ill
looked as angry as if he wished hi
son had been wrong, and the pas
sengers waiting there were sorr.
for the future of that boy.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1890-01-24
Our Hannah lane.

Our Hannah Jane was thin and weak,
And ashy white her lip and cheek,
We often thought-and thought with
pain.
ave soon must lose our Hannah Jane
With change of doctors, change OF AIR
She sought for healing everywhere.
Aud, when our hopes were almost past
"Favorite Prescription" tried at last.
1t gave us joy, it gave us hope.
She ceased to pine, she ceased to nope,
TPIerce's remedies are sure and trueI
Now Hannah Jane is geod as new.
Dr.. Plerce's Fayorite Prescription
is the only medicine for women,
sold by druggists, under a pOsit'rt
guarantee, from the manufacturers
that it will give satisfaction II
every case, or money will be re
funded. This guarantee has beer
pripted on the Dottle.wraDper, and
faithfully carried out for many
" xarS.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1890-01-24
a Woman's Idea of Men.

The dignified girl was on the
street car the other evening, and
her lower lip pOuted out as II she
we're at odds with these things gen
orally. "You seem out OF Sorts"
said her companion stenographer,
"what's the matterl" "Oh" replied
the dignlfed girl, 81 get sick OF
men and their ways. They are
messy; they sling paper all over the
office, and loll about on the desk
and chairs in such uDdignifed atti
tudes. They smoke and chew. We
have fourteen drummers who come
into onr office, and only one OF the
fourteen has ever had the courtesy
to ask me if cigar smoke is often
sive to me. Then they are silly
they talk such nonsense as sixteen
year.old girls would be guilty OF. l
ia all about neckties, new hats
ballets, good dinners aud so on. !
YOU think man is the superior an
imal you spend some time In
business Office with assorted size
of him and you will see. am De
ginning to believe that trash.
dime novel is better society tha
the average man, aud equally la
proving.