The Pascagoula democrat-star. (Pascagoula, Miss.) 1878-1920, 1890-10-17
SAW JOYEN SWINGS,

/ EAiIaCttu iIull tuc OlUWbId aioJ / ducis
If you furnish first class crow {
| will preach a first class sermon
But my sermon is as decent as my
crowd.
II Ingalls, and Mural IIalsteat
had been made ont Of The same
sort OF stuff as that great soldier
Grant. the war would have erdeo
in 1865. | always despi>e those
damnabIe puppies who don't know
about ii fight liIli's over.
II you rebels had known how
many Of the union soldiers you had
crippled and wounded, as shown
by he present | ension rolls you
would have made one las. rally aud
swept them from The face Of Tie
earth.
like Cleveland not because he
is Democrat, but because he has
a backbone as big as circus pole
Do you know what hog heaven
is?Plcnly 10 eat and nothing TO do.
y good many OF you want heay-
en- just like that.
Nowadays when mans girl
gets married he looks at the pock-
ct book of The chap she narries,
not at his character. We are
runliug to- much on The dollar
basis.
Sam Jones is making money. Oh
course, that's what he's here for
I'm paid $500 an hour. You couldn't
gel ten cents. Ifyou did you ought
1 to give it back.
You need more old fashioned
| gospel slung at you. This sooth
ing syrup and seldlitz powder Cos
| pei wont get there. IOu need tn,
good old fashioned calomel gospel
| Al'cr a pause My Illustration
may not be very elegant, Gul they
illustrate.
THIS is a dandy thing IN the wa.
of society you have al Columbia
IA little ten cent addition The so
ciety folks Of Columbia could'n
sweep out the kitchens Of Balli
more. Society aIienites husband
and wife and make dudes and du
dimes Of the children. Turn me
loose with my hands tied. in LEI
acres Of those society dudes, ant
/ | could whip the whole she-bang
/ DON'T fool with me, little fellows
| I'll spit on You and drown you. |
Il dude can't swim you've got him
Carries a pistol around in his hil
! pocket. It's a wonder il don't q
off and blow out his brains. If
had TO make a man out Of one hnu
dred OF these society fellows, IL
be IN ghty economical with my
| dit.
Every little woman in the coun
Try thinks her husband is a dandy
She will say going home tonight
"you are a heap purifier than San
Jones. Don't mind what he says
husband.
The man is he best christian who
is the best 10 his wife.
A drunkard Is not a clever man.
He's adog. He's two dogs. He's all
the dogs in the town.
A little luke warm preacher is
about the smallest animal that ever
crawled into a pulpit.
Some of You little fellows get
mad at what | say. Sit down on
one ear aud IAN yourself with The
other.
I'm against saloons, I'm against
cards, aud | want TO see the day
when it is ten times more popular
to pray than II is TO dance.
want to teach YOU farmers and
mechanics that there is something
bigger in this world than dollar
and better than ham and eggs.
There is more morality in back
woods district IN one day than
there is in Columbia in fifty
wears. You do more meanness
before breakfast than they do in a
month.
When a fellow amt no account
for anything else he goes to eriti-
cising. The best critics ! ever saw
were in the lunalic asylum-but
they amt all there some are on
the outside yet.
What do care for what COlum-
bia think of Sam Jones-little one
horse town. | can put you in my
vest pocket and won't know you
are their until some of you get