Turner County herald. (Hurley, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1890-02-27
Special Meeting Of the Yahoos.

~ , - =
PROCEEDINGS OF THE FIRST ATTEMPT
MADE BY THE TURNER COUNTY
YAIIoos TO TWIST INTO THEIR DECI-
MATED RANKS COUNTY TAX
PAYER.
HALL OF GRAND COUNCIL of Y.lIoos.l
February 2ith, 1880.
STATE OF HACKETT, ..
County Of Linn, %
BE it known, that we, Grand Council
of lahoos, in response to the call of
our II. w. G, Chief Yahoo, "radpole"
New Eraman. for a special meeting,
did meet on the above named date.
Council called to order, with Il. W..
e. Yahoo" Iadpole New Eraman; r.
w. V. G. Yahoo "Cuttletlsh y Ad in
interem, and Secretary "Sleuth Hound"
Uno in their respective places.
r.. w. G. Marshal Rex examined the
members present to ascertain if they
We're c,rrect and up to the times in
lies, mud-slinging, slurs, slang. grips,
pass words, signs, countersigns and sig
mails.
Roll call: Rex, present; Sam. pres
ent; Ole, absent; Omega, present; Aer,
present; Alpha, absent; Sorrel Top, alb
sent; Duke. present; also II few less im-
portant members.
Council declared open for the trans
action of business.
On motion, minor business mentioned
in the call was laid on the table, and
the main business for which the call
was made was taken up.
The secretary. informed the council
that the first important case on the
docket was the roping i'll of Tax
Payer.
AS the victim was in the outer cham
Der, the chief Yahoo instructed the
marshal to conduct him to the main
council, and then turn him over to the
Sergeant-at-arms Yahoo Sam.
A recess was then taken. after which
the sergeant-at-arms presented the tax
payer to the chief Yahoo.
at this stage of the proceedings the
r.. w. e. Chief lahoo Tadpole y New
Eraman, put on one of his two-for-a-
cent smiles, and proceeded to instruct
the victim as follows:
You, in the belief that the New Era
is a great and mighty power that ex-
tends even to the city of Washington
in the District Of Columbia, do swear
and affirm that you will do your
utmost for the general welfare of this
great and mighty power; and you fur
ther promise to carry out the instruc-
tions of this council Of whatsoever ma
5tIre. Do you agree to this?"
Well-yes-prehaps-guess will"
"It is now my privilege to instruct
you in the principles of the organiza-
tion. We are banded together to keep
up q tirade against the county officials
and all persons whomsoever that say
anything in their behalf; also to call
said officials by various high sounding
names, of which the principle ones are:
+. Incubus cigarette and mildew," ga
loot McGinty and McGinty's Pig;'
thief knave' and liar. We don't
care a fig for the amount of tax you tel
lows pay as long as we have our nose
in the county trough; but when we get
it gently showed out IS when we cry
out with n loud voice like that OF a
Roman orator about high taxes and
bad management, even though we are
four or five years behind the times.
You remember when we have been ofli-
cial organ in times during high tax
times) past we kept our editorial mouth
shut (eyen though we charged double
legal rates for /; whole year when we
had no competition) You also remem-
Der when the county papers combined
to publish the proceedings of the county
commissioners for one cent for year,
then did cry with a loud and mighty
voice, Fraud! Fraud!! Fraud!!l because
you know the money to pay for printing
was tax money.
The sergeant-at-arms will now con-
duct this friend to the Vice Yahoo, who
will further instruct him.
"Brother Vice Iahoo, our friend
seeks further instructions"
My friend, it gives me great pleas.
ure to further instruct you. You will
fold your hands behind your back and
answer the following questions:
Are you aware that all of this mud
Singing at the county commissioners
by our valiant band is because our
chief was kicked out of the county corn
crib?"
Yes sir"
"Do you know that we offered to
trade postotlice for the Office of clerk
of court 2"
Heard so.''
"Are you willing to help us in our
spite work, knowing tho taxes are
lower than they were last year?"
1tNo answer.)
do you know that we publish the
best paper in the countyl"
Rex says it meets with approval
1(but one lie more or less amounts to
nothing). The Democrat is much bet
ter paper by 10th any"
81 call the friend to order" shouted
Rex.
Silence!" roarcd the Chief. Well
! have to give the friend a little more
mush; he don't quite fill the kettle"
Hold on! don't like the way you
make mush; you use more gas than
meal Do you think ich yos a Deutch-
man kos yos u fool?"
My dear friend, you ure mistaken, I
said the v. e., 1--WE think you are a
| good honest fellow"
. None of your soft soap.
| AS the intended victim said this there
was an alarm at the door. and the guard