Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-01-14
THE TOPICAL TALKER.
Whit an Old Union County Farmer Had To
Say on Mechanical Legs, Farming and
MoFals-susplcion' Use-Two 0OwboyI

"a
Say on Mechanical Legs, Farming aud
Morals-suspIcIon's Use-Two Cowboys
sQueIched.
old farmer. real old-fashioned hayseed,
! "A deposited himself beside me the other
day in the narrow seat Of a railroad car. The
train was crowded, and as long journey was
before me, it seemed like luck to get the old
man as a neighbor. There was a sweet odor Of
hay about him-and he did not chew tobacco,
He had some difficulty in getting into the seat
lone Of his members. left leg to be precise,
seemed unruly. He lost no time in explaining
this.
Said he: Been to Pittsburg to get new leg
busted the old un last November, and its pow.
erful mean goin' round like unicornP'
He seemed to think that fabulous animal had
but one leg.
Reaper took of my leg in the first place."
he continued. "Don't seem to be no use for
reapers bout Pittsburg, Grounds so Steep
| Guess they have to. carry stepladders about
with 'em and pull the wheat stead er reapin',
don't theyi"-
told him things were not quite so bad as
that. though Congressman Bill Scott had
painted q pitiful picture OF the Braddock
| farmer.
"Scott Of Eries lost his head seveIial times to
my certain knowledge" !" said the old man. "Pd
rather lose a leg than head any day Mighty
expensive, though, losin' a leg, can tell you.
Cost me SlOO in cash already Doctors charged
me $50 for cutting it of; then, paid 900 for
mechanical leg-layin' up and more doctors
bills $50. ana this here leg the best made, $40
Pretty tough on an old man with only bare
thousand acres of land worth $50 an acre in
Union county"
sympathized as best could.
WHEN the train reached Oberlin party of
students standing on the platform well
coined young man Of wide trousers ana mar
row head with college yell. This started my
old farmer again.
oberlin's fine place for boys" he said; Il
knew widder who had one. soma bright boy.
She sent him to Oberlin 10 be educated. No
whisky in the town. Lots of religion and that
sort er thing. Boy came home; had q farm
worth IS. 1000; in less than ten years had a mort
gage on the farm-drinking whisky an playing
cards."
This touching tale was told IN tones loud
enough to include everybody in the car in the
audience. Two drummers, one in oils, other
in shirts, who had been betting-fVe dol
lars clip-all the way on every possible and
impossible contingency. were deeply affected
and retired to the water cooler, where they
shook a bottle containing red liquor.
IT'S sometimes advantageous to be regarded
with suspicion. You've heard the story of
the commercial traveller who got his choice of
seats on Pullman car by confding to a fellow
passenger that he had the smallpox. Well,
during the holidays just past saw some Ital-
ians profit, not designedly on their part by
similar circumstances.
The mems waiting room at the Federal street
station of the Fort Wayne Railroad was very
crowded that night and when gang of ten
italian pipe layers came in, they could fnd no
seats. They we're evidently very tired; one Of
them went to sleep standing up against the
wall 1t was still half an hour to train time.
Suddenly the incandescent electric lights
went out Before the last red glow had fed
from the carbon hlaments there was o general
movement towards the door. Something
seemed to suggest to everyone that was pleas
anter out Of doors, though light rain was
falling.
In minute or two an energetic official came
around to light up the gas lamps which are
held In reserve. As the darkness was dispelled
the crowd came back. Not few of them were
somewhat surprised and disguised to see that
the gentlemen from Italy were comfortably
resIng on the seats. Inc pipe layers haQ taken
full advantage Of the situation.
RsS 4
IT was during the same era Of festivity that
two cowboys. who had been displaying their
long hair and their proWess at a neighborIng
museum, approached the gateman at the Fort
Wayne depot. The cowboy with the largest
sombrero was naturally the leader, and he said
to the gateman: Say, pard, open that Rate.Y 4
The gateman explained that the rule was to
open the gate ten minutes before the departure
of train. 1t wanted half an hour to train
time.
Don't matter bout that" chipped in the
cowboy with the smaller sombrero, but the
dirtier face. "You open that gate-were goin'
west"
"Yes," said his companion, ''we're goin' west,
you can bet yer lifeP'
"How far TSsta" asked the railroad man
calmly.
"oh, we're goin' west thunder an snakesl-
an nobody III stop u.s."
'How far west?''
Jacks Run" said both cowboys from the
Point in whisper.
"Traln for Jacks Run in half an hour" was
the chilling reply Of the gateman. as he
wheeled on his heel.