The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1890-04-12
Clearly Outclassed.

Wierd, unearthly shapes, as II
moved by some resistless impulse to
congregate at a common center. hur-
ried swiftly through the sulphurous
air that overhung the bottomless pits
and fiery lakes in the Region of Dark
ness. Wan, cadeverous, uneasy spec
tiers, new to the dread mysteries OF
Inferno, side by side with the tough
and hardened Oldest Inhabitants,
whizzed horribly along, and the
grimy walls of Pandemonium echoed
presently to the discordant murmur-
ing and snarling of one of the largest
throngs that had ever gathered there.
II have called you together. my
countrymen." said the presiding
officer of the Internal regions. "for
the purpose of deciding a disputed
point. A contest has arisen," he
continued. in voice that pierced the
remotest cavern within the vast in
closure, "as to which one of my faith
ful subjects can claim the honor OF
having inflicted the most torture on
horses during his earthly exlstance.
The contestants will now have an
opportunity to be heard"
II was country blacksmith for
filty-three years." called out one Of
the claimants, as he mounted the
platform and looked complacently
about.
There was murmur of applause,
and a general shaking of heads, &C.
compenied by whispered observa.
tons to the effect that his record
would be hard to beat.
An uncanny specter, with a coun.
tenance that would have broken the
strongest camera on the surface of the
earth. came to the platform next.
II was harness he said.
II invented the stiff Bit" 81 made
the first pair of spurs." exclaimed
the next candidate. as he elbowed
the ex' harness. maker off the stage.
"Gammon !" said another claim
ant. II set the fashion of cutting
horses tails Off"
"And 1 made the first machine for
clipping Them" announced another,
The presiding officer checked the
applause that followed, the assembly
having seemed to on the point of be-
slowing the award on the last speak
er without further hearing.
A hard-looking resident mounted
the rostrum. "My friends" he
said. II made the first checkrein."
In vain the chairman attempted to
silence the cheering of the audience,
1t was only after some of the noisiest
of spirits near the door were thrown
out and the warning given that the
galleries would be cleared if the
offense were repeated that order was
restored.
ouuuCDIS COuluiduuluS fOlCo
rang out: II invented the barb wire
fence"
A deathlike stiffness prevailed the
cayernous place. With the convic-
ton that no contestant would have
the hardihood to dispute the claim
of the last speaker the chairman half
rose as to announce that the contro-
versy was at an end.
AT this moment a comparatively
mild-looking and unpretentious
shape took its place on the platform
and looked timidIy about.
"Speak out if you have anything
to say!" said the presiding officer.
almost contemptuously.
IL was the first man that ever
paved the streets of city with gran
ite."
Amid the widest and most tumul.
tuous applause that had ever shaken
the walls of Sheol's capitol the Prince
OF Darkness placed crown of laurel
on the head of the unpretending
goblin, shook his hand warmly, and
proclaimed that the contest was over.