Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-11-12

undoubtedly defeated Grover a few years ago.
HE jumps he boxes casts the stone,
He's wiry and gymnastic-
A monument to flesh and bone
Propelled by foot elastic.
He eats rare beef. drinks bitter ale,
And when in active training
He even wants his bread served stale,
From all rich food refraining.
He rubs and scrubs his giant frame,
He strives to increase muscle;
He takes hand III every game,
Or rough-and-tumble tussle.
He is the pet of college grand,
The professors on him beam; .
All sound his praises through the land.
For he leads the football team.
WHEN Jay Gould takes a whirl in Wall
street he simply handles the brokers like jays.
If we must compromise with the women who
want to meddle in public affairs how would it
do to allow them to perform jury dutyf
WHEN the State Legislature meets next
winter would it not be a wise proceeding TO re-
peal some of the old laws before framing any
new ones7 Think this over, gentlemen.
IT was the silent vote that caused all the
noise.
WITH the advent of the concert and lecture
season comes the cry for a public hall, roomy
and comfortable. Pittsburg needs one badly.
INDIAN summer weather seems to be disap-
pearing as fast as the Indians.
THE Wall street gamblers can smash each
other without involving legitimate lookers-on.
It's a bad business, for all that.
THERE are only few royal roads to riches
remaining in the world, and these are monopo-
lized by the reigning families.
WILL the ghost OF the dead broker haunt Jay
Gould, or is the little wizard conscience proofP
THE Stanley -Troup- -Bouny y-Barttelot-Jameson
controversy has gone far enough. Let the
dead rest and draw the veil of charity over the
records of the rear guard.
THE country thar has grown rich and great
under protection is not going to give it up
without a struggle.
EVERY labor-saving device lightens and
lengthens life and draws us closer to the mil
lennium.
HEART diseased, nervous and excitable men
should keep out oil Wall street.
A BLIND man must get very little satisfac-
ton out of the present theatrical performances.
Deaf men, however, can enjoy them.
THE public will hardly put their trust in
trust stocks again.
WOMAN was not made especially for the
kitchen. She can be dispensed with there, but
must not neglect the nursery.
IT is better for the people to govern the
politicians than for the politicians TO govern
the people.
THE question of the hour in labor circles is
work.
If all the laws on the statute books were
rigidly enforced the obnoxious and unneces-
sary ones would be wiped out and the good ones
more greatly respected than at present.
AcHURcH will not be injured if its shadow
mingles with that cast by distillery. The
school will be.
WOMEN will not secure the reforms they
clamor for until men advocate them.
ATHLETES practice at the bar.
A BIG Treasury surplus is temptation to
statesmen. A Government should be run on
business principles.
IF the banks keep outside the speculative
circle and loan to legitimate dealers on good
security panics will be confined to brokers'
offices.
A REFORM cannot be talked to death. It
must be tested.
EVERY assassination committed in the name
of liberty only ADDS another link to the chains
the oppressed carry.
THE hindsight of great many political lead.
ers seems to be far superior to their foresight
SrArEsMANsH1P cannot be elevated so long
as politics keeps in the slums.
A BANANA peel is not respector of persons
WHEN you doubt friend you might as we'll
dissolve the partnership.
THE Worlds Fair should not be wholly Chi.
ago's affair. The whole country is interested
and should prod up the commissioners
THE higher the society the lower the dresses.
AT all events Stanley has secured a first-class
advertisement through the remnant of the
rear guard.
THE ballot box needs the highest kind of
protection.
II one man possesses the power to turn the