Connecticut western news., 1890-03-19
..Where is thata" he erasped.

'sWhere is thatP" he Qrasped.
 ''Shoel." I exclaimed, hitting him over the head with my pillow, ''and hope you will go to see it," said I, sinking back upon my couch, ''we will dismiss the auditorium"
 The night wore away, morning came and I arose to the sorrows of the new day. The first that confronted me was the porter with my shoes.
 "Mornin. sah," said he; "I'se had a powerful hard time with those shoes. D' you know, sah, what those shoes mind me of?"
 "Well, I really couldn't say"
 ''Dey minds me of de auditorium al Chicago. Da's de bigges'-"
 'Look here," said sternly, ''if you spring that internal auditorium on me again you'll make the remainder oI this trip as freight. in tho baggage car, in a box, on ice. Do you see?'
 He took my quarter and escaped. made my simple toilet and went into the dining car. I took seas at a table aud a quiet, gertlemanly strang. CT dropped into chair in front of me.
 "Good morning." be said. ''it's g large morning, a very fine morning. It reminds me"
 "Now, look here," said. I, .rhis thing has gone about far enough. know just what you're going to say; You'll tell me about Patti
 '.Yes, sir, when she stepped"
 ''Now let up. I know all about her tears and her pink hair and the way she made her manager suffer. What ! <O ic ,ub b.,<S hA o: How are you fellows working thi: thingp''
 '.How do you stand on this world $ fair question, anyhowP" he said, cau- tiously.
 ''I'm for Chicago, heart and soul"
 'Well, then, I'll let you in. You see the committee out there thought i, would be a good plan to get few men to go round the country talking this thing up, meeting people of wealth and influence and dropping into g casual conversation with them. sDon't run down New York too much,' saio the committees: Just dismiss it witl a wave of your hand, as if it wasn' worthy of any consideration Ther the committeeman gave us a sample wave and we all had to practice it fol a couple of hours. After that they gave us a formula about the audito rum. It goes like this:
 ''No, thank you," said l, 'I have heard it already"
 "Well. then they divided the princi pal railroads up into districts. I run from Buffalo to Detroit I've been 8; it two weeks. It's quite q snap"
 ''I should think it would be-" said l. 'By-the-way. have you copy of that auditorium formula?"
 ''Yes; I've several. We have them to give people who are little deaf. Then we'vo got lem in big letters like q handbill for men that are near-sight- ed or intoxicated or nliterate. Would you like one?"
 '.It's just what want" and took four safe6y-pins which my wife had dropped into my pocket, and fastened the formula onto the front of my vest ''There; if anybody gets after me agaln I'll just flash that on him."
 Well. I've got to get to work" said the stranger, I've made only one con- version to-day" q
 He strolled over to another table and assaulted its occupants with tale of the auditorium. l got along peacefully enough till we passed Detroit. In the course of an hour had worked myself into state of mind like that of a gir who hasn't been asked to dance. l de- termined to walk through the trair and see. In the smoker l discovered him. He was just dismissing New York as 1 entered. dropped into ( seat near by and watched him. Pres ently he suspended operations with the man on whom he had been working and looked about for another victim He glanced at me casually and passed