New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1890-06-16
THE TALK OF TIE DAY.

II Is told OF a good old fashioned parson In one OF
the hill towns OF western Massachusetts that he re-
Gently gave the following advice TO his son, who was
about TO come NewYorH to begin business career;
NV son, OF course it IS always wicked to night, ana
as a Christian minister | must you against IT,
But at the same tme if you should ever find yourself
in a nght-mind | say, find yourself in fght, Win
no way ou-always that the right man Is wnppeo.
But father" replied the lad, how shall know VINO
is the right man !" The other man. of course, said
the old gentleman ain every crisis of lfc something
must be taken for granted, and in a fight you must
always assume that the other fellow deserves 70 De
trashed This advice similar in spirit TO that given
by Shakespeare indicates that there may be good
deal of unregencrate human nature even in quiet
country parsOn.
Lawyer-On what ground do you seek divorced
Female Ccnt-My husband Is an amateur Pho
IayyVer-That will do Wen have no trouble
about it, Ny wife has the craze too. ana I've Deeh
taking my meals at restaurant lot t"' "oeA''
(NorristOwn Herald.
An English etymoIocist deduces argument for tho
uperoritv of woman from fact that while the word
him. can only be used substantive, the CORE
spondng word herr can be used also as quaHSl my
pronoun You can say, for instance, 81 love her %
cause Of her eyes, but you can't say, respect MN
because OF him biceps7 Well, all we have 10 say Is
that the inventor of such fantastic theory as that
would be quite capable Of writing essay on the moral
character OF a molecule.
ua Tans Ssf ordered RaGhdEfss city 1t ''Aee @
Mrs Tanglewhy, no. it isn't maekerei Henry s,nnS
cod Can't you see it's marked T.. " ~ ,,HJw s'uP'u
of them To send the wrong kind OF hsh!-lLsh"
The Evangelist says that the Rev Dr. Arthur l.
person. late of Philadelphia has not teen called I"
succeed the Rev. DR.. Cuyer, as reported
awould anv shock at this stage Of my trouble cause
a relapse. doctor" inquired the patent
Peo. ei'T then doctor, TO remember that nportans
fact in making out your bill'-lFliegende Batter
, Wall street broker of this city who recently met
tho novelist Dandet in Paris asked the other DAY
how, the great writer impressed him. Well ne re-
piled &c l thought his hair needed cutting
She Centhu.iasticallyD-oh George don't you think
the greatest Joy in life is the pursuit oil 'ne soou ''
true 9 Yo r'' nef that's why I'm here tonight
burlington Free Press.
There are fewer more severe tests OF feminine
grace than that found in riding bicycle yet un'
,n,ber ~ vounc women who bravely mount their
two wheeled steeds in the parks on pleasant ai1er-
moons is still increasing. The novice willingly con-
cents 70 a certain probation Of awkward ana IN
,,inlv cvrations in the hope that she may IN uulo
become mistress Of her wheel and know something
, tho noetry OF motion. The grace and ease WINCH
some of the riders OF experience display whhe SPIN
mig along the drives are indeed tTumphs oi Sni'''
and II requires sound nerves well as good muscles
The girl who ought to have been born boy" usually
succeeds the best and she glides along almost with
tho case Of a bird on the wing. The timid girl never
attempts to ride.
Clarence (courting Miss Alice observes mat her
Iitn fodder of brother has been staring al MIN rom
Inc porlor doorway full five mlnutc'l-NhS d.e you
Leaking AZ me so. Tommy ~ Al,
Tommy an' for you TO propose 10 Ahce!
Alice-Oh Tommy, how came you 10 say such
T99mu,y-'Cause ma said If he proposed youd nlng
vour.cf richt at him, an want ter rec you-Ohat"r'
While the testimony in a suit for Limited ui'o'.o
u,as beng taken before referee the other Day inc
sister Of the husband in the was on the witness
stand She displayed great animoslty to"afu her
hroher,s wife and his motherinlaw during the dreC'
examination and when the lawyer for the otler sa'
horan the cross-examination. the hrst question: no
led the witness was why she felt so bitterly po"""
-. ,,o.herinlav she looked at tho
,v-or scorr,fullv for few seconds and theh saiu
Good Lord. aren't you enough of lawyer 70 Ano"
that II il had not been for my brothers mo'"o'-'n
law his wife would never have been born
Describing HmSelf-Londoh iio'oi ~
an American | believe -, So. I'm, a cosmopolitan.
VT WU r morninc cocktail from an lrishman' my
io,nSerer is Chinaman, my COOK q Ie. I'D nv
,ainr an Fnrlishmau, my wife Holldnuer anu 10y
landlord an AustrianJew snake "en D''N '