, 1890-02-09

several bright conversationalists at each
end of the table and skipping the horse
dOovers, arriving at once at the remove
Of say a broiled pigs loot on toast. a bot
tie of Ann Hizer Sec and ice cream. A
bright conversatlonslIst or a good humor-
list who Is willing to give a fair equivLl
ent TOR his o can save you at such a
meal hundreds of dollars. You might
have to take the conversationalist and
humorist out into the woodsbed and give
item something extra before the meal, in
order to keep them up to where they
would be willing to sparkle aud be the
lte OF the party. but even then it would
be a great sa ing to you. | once vent to
a delightful dinner OF this kind, but was
not told 10 sparkle. so talked entirely with
a young lady neal me all the evening re
gardlng MIR. Russell and the Delsarte
theory.
The host was so mad that he did not
pass me the pie at all, and ate my dried
Drunes with the rich umbrella juice that
went with them, while | was looking the
other way. When he gave me my hat
and overcoat at last, in the hal, he Kissed
10 my ear:
You have went back on me and have
come to my house for the last time. If
you had of done the square thing you
would have had as good a time as you
was ever at, and got your little old s. be
sides, but now you can be excused. |
didn't asst YOU to come here and stuff
yourself full of nv %victuals and then talk
art to a mere STRIPPING Of a girl. If you
want to get ahead you want to do it some
other way"
l told him that when | found out where
to get a head | would be sure TO give him
the address. l then selected a good pair
of overshoes, took what | thought to be
a fresh cigar from the stand and went
away. 1t did not smell 80 fresh, how
ever. after | lighted it as | thought it
would.
He was a coarse. vulgar mnn, with a
great deal of money, but too mean to give
his wife money enough to build her dress
sufficiently high to protect her chest from
the biting blast. Little do we know,
Mrs. Pennypacker, of the suffering there
Is from exposure even in the homes Of
wealth.
Bright Alfarata." San Jose. Cal,
asks what to do for an ingrowing nail and
how to make salt rising bread. l do not
know what to do. | never had eyether.
Theological Student'-No. you are
wrong about that. At Gutenberg ON the
4th, the fifth race OF six and one-half fur
longs was won by Fordham, Blue Rock
second. Carnegie third; time. LIZA.
"Sangamon," Erie, Pa, asks how the
passenger steamships of the United
States compare with those of other coun
tries, England especially. The United
States does not or do not compare well
with England in the matter of passenger
steamships. Aside from the Hoboken
ferry and a naptha launch our keels are
not found blowing the waters very much.
Buffalo Bill goes over to London with his
Indians and scouting clothes in a foreign
steamship, and then foreign steamships
take 300, 900 people over there to see him
Then, when they get through, foreign
steamships bring them back. also the
feecv William and his band. Then he
goes to Paris in a foreign steamer. Sew
eral hundred thousand Americans go
over there also, utilizing English and
other alien keels for that purpose in order
to hear Col. Cody converse with Chemise
La Rouge in French. Then they
come home the same way, and he follows
suite.