The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1890-12-09
BILL NYE'S SABBATH.
How the HumOriSt Observes the
First Day of the Week.

: The humOrIst was stirtled. No Ont
had ever doub ed his piety, nor b q
the religious teachers of the vicinity
taile1 TO h"ll up his Mariner of lIft
and fad therein many good lessons
for the rising generation. Bill set hi
think t7nk in opera ion and fin Ill,
resolved to submit TO an examination
81 awake in the morning at an I'M
earthly hour on Sunday, after which
i turn over and 60 t. sleep again,
said the humorisi, as be passed hi;
hand over the shiny dome of thought
This second or bsauty sleep | find
10 be almost invaluable. | do it alsC
with much more eagnes'ness and ex.
preston than in tie earlier TART Of tbe
night. All The rest Of the people 10
house gradually wake up as | begin to
get in my more fancy strokes.
I'D . V'.iVUL ~-"-yhndy Is stirring
and SO get up and glide about in ny
pajama., which make me look almost
like the 'Clemenceau case 50 o"o-"L
OF an engagement.
CATER breakfast, which consists of
chops, hashed brown potatoes, muf-
fms and coffee, preceded by cantelope
or baked bars, we proceed t. quar-
rel over who shall go to church and
who shall remain at home TO keep the
cattle cut of the corn.
1--WE then 90 to church, those who
ian at least, whist the others remain
AID read something that will be i'm
proving. Sometimes | shave myself
on Sunday mornings. Then it takes
me quite while TO get back into
religious frame Of mind. ID not
vesy welt in shaving myself
and people who 60 by the house are
often attracted by my yells.
81 go to church quite regularly and
enjoy The sermon unless it is too firm
or personal. FIT goes into doctrine
too much | am apt tip be quite IA
tigued by the end of the service on
account of the mental reservations |
have made along through it.
81 like to GO and hear about Gods
love, but am rarely benefited by a
discourse which enlsrses upon his
lea 'ousy. When | am told also that
God spares no pains in getting even
with PEOPLE, not only do not emily
the information. but | would sit up
TIL a late hour at night to doubt it.
"Mr. Rogers is going to have me
sit t. him 10 my pajam IS for group
Of statuary. He ssio wishes to model
an iron hitrhing post from it. | wi
sit for it now in few days.
"On waking ] a'mOst at once take
to me tub and give myself good,
coll bath.
Il then put in my teeth.
After doing some little studies in
| throw a silkvelvet dress
ing gown over my shoulder. and look
st my bright girlish hesuty in a full
length mirror, comparing the d'mpled
curves IS / see them reflected with
those shown in the morning paper.
After reading a little from the
chess column of some good author |
descend to the salem and greet my
family snilingly in order to open the
day anspiciously. We all then sing
around the psrior organ IA little pean
entitled Its Funny When You reel
That Way
1--WE now GO to the breakfast room,
where the children sre taught to set
aside the daintiest bits for papa, be-
cause he might die some time and
then it would be life long regret to
those who are spared that they did
not give him the tender part OF the
s eer or the second int of the hen.
81 shake hands with the pastor,
and. after suggesting something for
him to preach about On the following
| 60 home.
in the afternoon | 90 walking if no
one calls. We have dinner a . o'clock
on SUNDAY, consisting of Jerked beef
in milk gravy. This is the
remove. For side dishes We have
squash or meat pie
"After dinner | sometimes nap a
little, and riIvu tool with the colt
This is done quietly, however, 81 as
not to break in upon the devotional
spirit of the day. After this 60 for
= walk or converse iuteili gently with
foreign POWERS who may be. visiting
our shores.
"When | walk | am generally
accompanied by a restless Queer
Anne dog, which precedes me about s
mile, smelling of the road to see that
all is well. He sometimes succeeds
in getting himself disliked by some
other dog, and then | can observe the
fight when | catch up with him.
AS the twilight gathers, ali seen
ready again for more food, and w
heu;n 10 clsmer for pabulum. keepin!