davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1890-09-04
HUMOROUS.
,fhe bridal path-Up the aisle.
Blow their own horns Musicians. q

/. r. i
,fhe bridal path-Up the aisle.
Blow their own horns Musicians. .
Made for each other--the cup and
saucer.
Something that always takes sides
Laughter.
1t is the early edition that catches
the bookworm.
Among the products of the Samoan
Islands are sugar cane and hurricanes.
There are dull times on the farm
when the boy has to turn the grind
ston'.
Energy may bring success; but
there's nothing like success to bring
one energy.
Jack-Pshaw! money doesn't always
bring happiness. Etlel-Wefl, Pm
sure poverty doesn't.
"What splendid wife D9wney
has! She's got such sunny DISPOSE
ton, you know" 'Sunny disposi-
ton? Yes, they do say she makes it
hot for him"
IL hardly know how to take you at
times, Miss Ophelia," remarked young,
Mr.. Lummix. "Why ifottake me for
better or for worse?" suggested Miss
Ophel:a, shyly.
Mr.. Blase-"You have no fortitude,
Marie; you can endure nothinesnnless
1t is agreeable" Mrs. ~Blase-sstY You
Judge me harshly, Adolphe5
not my husband"
Sweet Girl--If it's just the same,
Mr.. Mashuer, you needn't trouble
yourself to call any more. Masheur
(earnestly)-Oh, thanks; it's no
trouble at ALL like to call.
Fair Tourist-Ah, what all ideal life
is that Of the peasantry. In close
communion with nature; no sordid
cares, 10 dues to pay to the exactions
of society. Practical Mamma-Nor
to the laundry.
He-And so yolr answer is finale
You will not be mine? She-Yes, abb
solutcly. But pray don't go and blow
your brains out. He-It would be an
idle attempt. People say if had any
brains never would have proposed to
yOl.
The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1890-09-04
The Track Walker.

"The railroad track walker occupies
an important position of trust" said a
conductor TO q Star reporter the other
day, when the train had been stopped
by signal. s'On his care depends
the safety Of every train and of every
life which passes over his section Of
the road. The broken plate for which
he signalled us was very little thing
in itself, but had it been neglected our
train might have been thrown from
the track and several people killed.
"I have been track walker myself,
and would have been one yet but for
the fact that l had friend IN the
supcrintcndcnts office who aided me
in getting my present position. The
railroad mans motto is 'once track
walker, always a track walker He
goes on duty in the morning, rain or
shine, at five o'clock, or at the same
hour in the evening, if he is on the
night shift, and remains for twelve
hours. He has certain section of the
track to cover, and he is required to
60 over it at the rate Of about two
miles an hour. He must look carefully
at every foot of the rails, fish plates
and angle plates and loose bolts.
can experienced man can tell a loose
rail at glance, and few blows of
his hammer soon sets matters right.
His outfit consists of wrench, a ham,
mcr, q few bolts and spikes, lantern
if working at night, flag, and torpe-
does. In case of his discovering a
serious damage to the rails which he
cannot repair without stopping train
which he knows is due, he places two
torpedoes about five yards apart, and
some two hundred feet from where lie
will be at work OH the rails. This
allows him to work at case, and their
explosion warns the engineer of what
is ahead"
The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1890-09-04
Concerning the Winds Variations.

A series of observations for a hun
dred consecutive days has been made
at the top of the Eiilel Tower on the
velocity Of the wind. Speaking gen.
orally, the velocity at that elevation
was three times in the average greater
than nearer the ground. Much of the
diminuticn of force and speed is no
doub. due to the check given by
houses and other objects near the sur
fsc. of the earth. The observations
present many curious details as to the
variations at various times of the day
and night, due to changes of tcmpera-
turc.
The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1890-09-04
AdQuiaut,

"Tha's right, Mr.. Bronson," said
the landIy, as The boarder broke his
goblet, "break what you can't cat"
"I'd be pleased to, Mrs. Laybird,'
rctorted Bronson, "but with these
biscuits of yours that would be im-
possible. ."-[Epoch.
The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1890-09-04
s.Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep"

! In the quiet nursery chambers,
Snowy pillows yet Impressed,
See the forms of little children
Kneeling, whitc-robbed for their rest.
All in quiet nursery chambers, !
While the dusky shadows creep,
Hear the voices Of the children
s.Now lay me down to Sleep" !
In the meadow and the mountain
Calmly shine the winter stars,
But across the gistening lowlands
Slant the moonlights silver bars
In the silence and the darkness,
Darkness growing still more deep,
Listen to the little children
Praying God their souls to keep.
'If we die"--so pray the children
And the mothers head drops low
Zone from out her fold is sleeping
Deep beneath the winters snow,
"Take our souls;' and past the easement
Fits gleam OF crystal light,
Like the trailing Of His garments
Walking evermore in white.
Little souls that stand eXpectant,
Listening at the gates Of life,
Hearing far away the murmur
OF the tumult and the strife;
We, who fight beneath those banners,
Meeting ranks Of foemen there,
Finl deeper, broader meaning
In your simple vcsper prayer.
When your hand shall grasp the standM d
Which, today, you watch from far;
When your deeds shall shape the conflict
In this universal war,
Pray to Him, the God of battles,
Whose strong eye can never sleen
In the warning of temptation,
Firm and true your souls to keep.
When the combat ends, and slowly
Clears the smoke from out the skies;
When, far down the purple distance,
All the noise of battle dies:
When the last nights solemn shadows
Settle down on YOU and me,
May the love tat never faile.h
Take our souls eternally.
The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1890-09-04
To Remove a Cinder From the Eye.

The travelling public may be inter
csted in knowing that the proper way
to remove q c:ndcr from tho eye is TO
rub the other eye. Rubbing the af-
fcctcd eye only in1amcs it and very
rarely removes the offending cindcr'
This statement is youched for by med
ical authority, and one trial will con-
vince the most sceptical. I New York
World.
The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1890-09-04
The Happy Han.

BJ day, no biting cares assaI ~,
My peaceful, calm, contentcd breast;
BY night, my slumbcrs never fail w
OF welcome rest -.
Soon rs the Sun, with orient beam3, ~
Gilds the fair chambers Of the Day,
Musing, trace the murmuring streams I
That wind their way.
Around me Nature fills the scene 9
With boundless plenty and delight; u
And, touched with joy sincere, serene.s'
bless the sight. s,,s
bless the kind, creating Power, =
Exerted thus for frail mankind;
At whose command descepds the shower,
And blows the wind.
Happy the man who thus at ease, IA -
Content with that which Nature gives;
Him guilty terrors never seize;
lie truly lives.
Chambers Journal. Z
The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1890-09-04

"The Northumberland" New York,
Oct. 1, 1SS-. Dear Mr.. r. c.:
Will you kindly send one of your as
sistants to my rooms Saturday, at IL
NJ, and oblige,
Yours truly, E. S..
Such were the contents of letter,
sent by me one memorable Saturday,
toa well known manicure establish
ment. was in the habit of having
my nails treated at home every Satur-
day. Having large fiat, it was not
only convenient, but eminently proper.
Besides, the manicures were only too
pleased to come knowing that there
was double fee 10 be gotten.
l had had thin manicures and fat
manicurcs, manicurcs tender and man.
icrres tough-blonde, brunette, stupid
and fascinating manicures-but had
always found them to be essentially
vulgar, with an eye to the main chance,
fond of flattery, able 10 give and take
in game of chatf, in short, young
women thoroughly able to take care of
themselves, and, unfortunately, show
ing it in every line of the face and in
every curve of the figure.
So when at breakfast my man an
uounced Miss j, the manicure, l
arose with my paper, crossed over into
the library, dropped into an easy-chair
in the lordly fashion so common to
New York club men, with an absent
minded "Good morning."
A tall figure in gray arose, greeting
me in low tone, and Immediately
proceeded to wheel low chair up to
mine. held out my hand mechanic
ally-a soft hand took it. ] can feel
that touch now! | was startled !!
Ridiculous! l, an old society and
club man, who had made love 10 every
woman who had ever crossed my path.
I, whose making had always been
Of the eyes and lips, never of the heart,
feel thrill? Most certainly aston
shing!
Ny hand must have trembled, for
she looked up moment, with a quick,
but penetrating glance.
For an instant only-down went the
head again over her work.
After awhile l regained sufficient
.omposure TO scrutinize her more close
ly. All | could see was white and
rosy cheek, and a mass of shot curl
ing auburn hair-not the dyed auburn
which | so heartily detcst, but the nat
ural auburn of person of sandy COM
plcxion.
"My very color" thought I. I be-
gan to long for a fuller view of her
face. She should look up.
'sDo you do much of such work,
Miss j"
"Only on Saturdays" was the dig
nidcd response. No change. Rather
exasperatcd, l assumed my most ele-
giant manner:
"Can not have the honor of your
company some evening to Ginner?''
knowing the average manicurc's weak
ness.
"That will fetch her!' to myself
It did, but not in the way expected.
"Thanks; never 60 out at night"'
"But may l not call on you then"'
persisted l.
81 beg your pardon. I don't re-
ceive, socially, gentlemen whom meet
in business"
81 beg yours" | managed to Gasl
put.
The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1890-09-04
Blowing the Hcrn for Lost Children

Distracted parents who lose their
children in the crowds at public resorts
on holidays would be glad if Il curious
Berlin custom were ado. .'tcd. At the
Berlin Geological Gal dens any keeper
finding a lost child takes the little one
in charge and blows trumpet. Hear
ing the note the mother or father i'll
search of the missing youngStcr at
once makes for the spot and tie search
il ended ---. Chicago Herald.
The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1890-09-04

"Delighted to sec you, Mr.. s..
To whom shall l present you? Oh. l
know. My niece. Awfully clever
girl. Supported her mother and her
self for a long time after her father s
death. An uncle left them legacy a
month or two ago, sufficient to enable
them to resume their rightful place in
society. Where can she .bc2- Don't
sec her anywhere. Never mind. l
will later" Thankful for my escape
from this paragon, left my hostess
to receive her guests. and threaded my
way through the crowd of gay mask
ers, at last gaining the shelter of a
friendly doorway leading into q con-
servatory, against which | leaned with
q sigh of relief. l had come to this
"bal masque" OF Mrs. VS. princi-
pally TO escape from my own company.
My spirits were not in keeping with
this gay asscmblagc, and | soon found
my thoughts wandering when-
GLOW do you do?" soft voice at
my elbow said. "You do not seem to
recognize old friends"
started. Where had | heard that
voice? There was the self-same tromor
again! Was l in my dotagc? Could
not lady speak to me without my
losing my balance? Truly, it seemed
not.
"You have rather the advantage of
me, with that mask on said |, con-
fusedly, almost falling over a plant
standing near. l clutched the door
frame to steady myself, breaking a
finger nail in the effort.
Recovering somewhat, | took the
outstretchcd ungloved Misunderstanding
all the while to penetrate the disguise.
There was something familiar about
the large white hand, with the well
polished nails, about the curly auburn
hair, but--that was all.
The tall figure was so drapcd that
it was all utter impossibility to tell
anything regarding it. The eyes
were hand ONE, but the mask prevent
ed their color from being detected.
"You have broken nail" cXamin-
ing it critically. "Allow inc to trim it
for you," ri the while retaining my
hand.
"Certain.,, l hclplcssly stam-
mered.
Then came forth pair of scissors.
Snip! snip. the rugged edges were
trimmed,
Are those initials engraved OH them ?
Yes. What arc they? Ye gods! an.
J."!!!
"My manicure!"
The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1890-09-04
A Correct StatiStician.

"A French stalislcian claims thai
the human race gets shorter every
year."
dies dead right. had $4,000 a
year ago. Now I've only got S5O00."
The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1890-09-04

"And Mrs. VS. niecew
married my manicure We have
two little manicures, whose nails are
personally treated by their mother
TChatter.
The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1890-09-04

"Whew! What a cold plunge tha.
was" mentally. Completely routed, /
resigned myself to an awkward silence.
Something had accomplished, though,
and that was glimpse of a large but
handsome mouth, filled with lovely
white teeth, and pair of blue eyes
that | shall not forget to my dying
day.
And what a superb hand! Large
and white, with nails beautifully trim
med and polished. "Badgc of her
profession" was my cynical comment.
And how deftly they welded the
spiderlikc scissors, OH which were en-
graved the initials IN. j."
But she was finishing now. l be-
gan 10 feel nervous about paying
money TO such superb creature.
She arose, packed up her instru-
ments and put on her hat, which shc
had laid aside.
I handed her double the usual
charge, my habit always. She took
it calmly, thanked me and passed out,
with bow and smile, / holding the
door open for her, and speechless as q
sixteen-year-old boy.
| was consoled by the thought,
however, that l should see her again
the following Saturday. Judge of my
disgust, TO find another sent in her
place, who knew nothing of Miss
j at all.
The following day l called on Mrs.
c.. Madame did not even know
Miss J--'s address-shc was not one
of her regular operators, but had been
sent to her, her own staff being pre-
viouSly engaged. So sorry, ctc., etc.
Months rolled on. had contracted
the bal habit OF promenading the
streets, in the hope that Fortune would
be kind to me-that might meet her
accidentally.
never did.
The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1890-09-04
MY MANICURE,

"The Northumberland" New York,
Oct. 1, 1SS-. Dear Mr.. r. c.:
Will you kindly send one of your as.
sistants to my rooms Saturday, at IL
NJ, and oblige,
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1890-12-06
BOURBON HOUSE.
J. GAUTREAUX, Proprietor,
Rooms and Board.
40 Bourbon ST., New Orleans
ORDER OF COURT.

FHNHE different terms of Court in aud for
III the 18th Judicial District. are hereby or
dered and Axed as follows, towit:
For ST. LANDRY
criminal term beginning Monday, Feb
ruary "a, 1891
civil term beginning Monday. April 9Th,
1891
A civil term beginning Monday September
28th, 1891.
criminal term beginning Monday, Novem
Der 23I, 1891
For ACADIA
criminal term beginning Monday, Jan
nary 5th, 1891
civil term beginning Monday, March 9th,
1891.
A civil term beginning Tuesday, September
LIST, 1891.
criminal term beginning Monday, Novem-
Der I'd, 1891.
The clerk Of this court is hereby directed to
forward without delay copy of this order
to the clerk of court in the parish Of Acadia,
who will post and publish the same as usual,
and the clerk of this court is further direct
ed to post copy thereof in his office and at
the courthouse door, and also furnish a copy
to the st, Landry Clarion for publication.
Given II open court, October 23d, 1890.
Novt K. T. LEWIS, Judge 18th Dist
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1890-12-06
She Made a Senation.

Mr.. Randolph announced that the
lady would perform an act on the slack
wire. She balanced herself on the wire
and tripped back and forth, while the
audience looked on with that apathy
and air of being half bored which char
acterizes all shows which are thoroughly
familiar to the theater and circus pa
trOn.
All at once the air performer drew a
few pins from the bay window of her
dress and drew that garment off, leav-
ing her standing on one foot, clad in an
elaborate lace skirt.
The audience awaked from its indif-
ference and the show became endowed
with new interest,
More pins were extracted and over
her head went the skirt.
The audience became excited.
Next the bus-dress improver came
of 1t had no longer any dress to i'm
prove, and its occupation was gone.
The audience began to speculate as to
where the disrobing process would end,
and pistol shot or a dog fight would
not have served at that moment to dis
tract its attention.
BY this time the lady on the wire had
got down apparently to the snowy gar
ment which as adapted to the male form
is known as shirt
The audience craned it's neck, so to
speak, and as the lady showed an inten-
ton of removing even that garment.
strong men held their breath In dismay'
wonder and curiosity, while the weak
and modest ones covered their faces
with their hands. .g...
Well the what dye call it came off.
and-nothing more shocking. was re-
vealed than handsome and very shape.
ly young woman clad in the regulation
tights and trunks that all well-regulat-
ed slack-wire and trapeze artists are
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1890-12-06
Worms That Eat Steel Rails.

For the last two years the German
government has been making lnqul-
rries into the life, history and ravages
of one of the most remarkable worms
known to exist. This wonderful crea-
ture, whose gluttonous appetite is only
satisfied after feed on common steel,
was first brought into general notice
by an article in The Cologne Gazette i'll
June, 1887.
For some time preceding the publ
cation of the account mentioned the
greatest CONSERVATION existed among
the engineers employed on the rail
way at Hagen by accidents which al
WAYS occurred at the same place, PROV
ing that some terrible defect must exist
either in the material Or the construc-
ton of the rails
The. government became interested
and sent commission to the spot for
the purpose of maintaining Il constant
watch at the place where the accidents
one of them attended with loss Of
sife--had occurred. 1t was not, how
ever, until six months had elapsed that
the surface of the rails appeared to be
corroded, as if by acid, to the extent
of over 100 yards.
The rail was taken up and broken,
whereupon it was found to be literally
honeycombed by thin, threadlike,
gray worm. The worm is said to be
two centimeters in length and of about
the bigness of a common knitting
needle tits Of a light gray color, and
Oh the head it carries two little sacs or
glands, filled with a most powerful
corrosive secretion, which is elected
every ten minutes when the little de-
mon is lying undisturbed This liquid
when squirted upon iron renders it
soft and spongy and Of the color of
dust, when it is easily and greedily
devoured by the little insect. There
is no exaggeration," says the official
report, ''in the assertion that this crea-
ture is one of the most voracious, for it
has devoured thirty-six Kilograms of
rails in a fortnight. "-Chicago Tri-
bune.
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1890-12-06
How He Lost Els Cork Screw.

I" Is there gentleman from Georgia
in the car9'
With his usual urbanity Major Pulas-
ki arose. Yes, sir" he said, :" am
from Savannah"
"From Savannah! that's still better
Then, sir" stepping briskly forward,
"may | trouble you for your corkscrew
q mOment?"
An explosion of laughter greeted the
old chestnut, but the major was equal to
the occasion. Certainly, sir" he began,
putting his hand in his pocket as though
to seek the desired implement, and then
paused. excuse me-" he said; "may
ask you what State you are from
ooh am from Ohio"
Then, sir" replied the major, as he
calmly resumed his seat, am sorry |
cannot accommodate you; but every
time have loaed my corkscrew-Or, in
fact, anything else-to an Ohio man, it
was the last ever saw of it."-Savsn
nah News.
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1890-12-06
THE OLD LINE FENCE.

Do you remember tn old line fence
Diyidin' tn farms oy Jones and Bence,
Staked and ridered and ten rails high,
That nuthin' could leap what couldn't fly?
Jos Bence, as deacons only cam
Sung hymns in church-good sort o man,
While Jones, he didn't care about
eth neetin's-was good enough without"
Well, Jones, he bought o brindie steer,
An KEEP i'm, too, fur more'n year
He had an ugly, crumpled horn
An hanker'd arter Bence's corn
That steer want slow in larnin' tricks,
So when tn fence got out O fix
He'd throw it with that horn o his,
An mostly fore tn sun was riz.
TIL deacon's wrath run high an hot
Until, poor man, he quite furgot
His rather piols 'vums" an vows.
An rally swore at Jones COWS
Ono day tn steer was in tn corn
An Bence, he broke the critters horn;
reck n he didn't mean t dew it,
III, found the stun, was mad, an threw 1t
Then Jones, he shot at Simpsons hog,
He said, but killed tn deacon's dog,
Then Bence put pizen out fur rats
An killed Ben Jones' hens an cats.
One day they fought with rake an hoe,
Bence hack'd at Jones an Jones raked Joe
They claw d an tore each others shirt,
But otherwise they want much hurt.
Their quarrels went. frum bad TO WIS,
Th' deacon learned to swear an Gus.
An 50 fur more nor thirty years
Joe Bence an Jones we're by tn ears
The fence? Well Wen tn farms wus sold
They tore it down, it got so old.
Where's Jones an Bench? They're cold an ST
In yender graveyard on the hill.
Chicago Inter Ocean
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1890-12-06
Steel and Iron Boilers,

I'm 1887 I made about 1876 steel and
about 125 iron boilers; in 1888 about
$40 steel and Is iron, and this year,
out of nearly 300 boilers, ! will only
turn out of iron. Of 132 boiler plate
mills in this country, but two are
making iron plates exclusively. If the
steel boilers cost more, I suppose the
demand for them would increase less
rapidly, but the price Of steel and iron
plate is so nearly equal, and the steel
boilers are so far superior in every
way that it may be said that iron boil
ers are out of date. Iron plates lack
what boiler makers call homogeniety
that is to say, evenness of tensile
strength or equality in the matter of
expansion and contraction. That
quality is what makes the steel boiler
valuable, and the lack of it makes the
iron one unreliable. The wrought
iron boiler must go.-Manufacturer in
st. Louis Globe Democrat.
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1890-12-06
The Census of Louisiana,
Shows a Wonderful Growth of Popu-
lation as Compared With Other
States.

WASHINGTON, Oct. 25.-[Special. j.
The census bureau has practically com
pleted the count of the States. A COM
parison Of figures on Louisiana with
those of other States shows that the
percentage of growth of population in
Louisiana has been greater in the past
ten years than that of Maine, New
Hampshire, Vermont, New York, Della
ware, Ohio, Indiana, Iowa, North Caro-
lima, South Carolina, Kentucky or
Tennessee, and her actual gain in pop
ulation more than the entire population
OF the State of Delaware, OF as many as
the entire population of Idaho and Ma
vada put together.-Daily States.