West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1890-06-26
Lost Three Days Time, Pounded
Himself All Over, Spent Six Dol.
lars and Was Laughed At
BY MRS. BOwSER.
Detroit Free Press.


and left it at the barn, and when
Mr.. Bowser came home / mention
ed the fact, and asked what he in
tended to do with it.
MT is for screen doors for the
front DOORS" he replied.
carpenter coming up to make
thems''
"Havn't engaged any,"
''Mr. Bowser you are not going
to try to make them yourself ?''
"There won't be any trying about
It. l shall proceed to make and
hang Them"
'I'm afraid you can't do it. It's
h nice piece of joiner work to make
a screen door, especially one for the
front of the house."
81 am well aware of that" he
said rs he stroked his chin in a
complacent way. "Havn't | got
about $50 worth of tools Don't
know how to handle them
'I-I wish you had given your
order at the shop, as other folks do"
'1'll be hanged if l pay So for a
pair of doors when 1 can make 'em
for 80? You are always dead set
against anything / undertaken"
"Mr. Bowser you can't make
screen door. You can't hang one.
Don't blame me when the failure
comes"
''Blame youl Are you getting
crazy? If those doors are not a sue
cess, you won't hear word of fault
from me--not a peep. | was think
ing of ordering them, but being
You have stuck your nose mp so
high, I'll make 'em now just to
show you that l can do it."
And the next morning he put on
an old suit and went to the barn
and before 0 o'clock he had meas
ured four different times for those
doors. At last he got the dimen-
sions to suit, and / heard him saw
ing off the strips. About IL o'clock
/ went out and found the stuff all
cut two lengths, and Mr. Bowser
was making half-mortices at the
end.
"Arn't our front doors higher
than this?' / asked as l picked up
one of the side pieces.
Haven't you any house work to
see to % he brusquely replied.
you've got 'em foot too short. -"
go, have /, ell ? Some folks eyes
are better than carpenters rulel"
/ went back into the house, but
it wasn't long before l saw him
sneaking around to the front with
one of the pieces. l watched him
as he tried it, and it was all of the
twelve inches short. Mr.. Bowser
scratched his ear, growled like a
bear, and looked as foolish as boy
caught in a harvest apple tree.
Ten minutes later he was at the
telephone ordering more stuff.
"Were they too short ?' l asked
as he hung mp the trumpet.
"N--nO, but l thought I'd get
heavier stuff" he mumbled as he
shot ont doors.
The stuff came up after dinner,
and it was about 2 O'Clock in the
afternoon when he put one Of the
frames together and stood it up in
the door. went out and as he
began to smile with satisfaction ]
said :
"Mr. Bowser, that door is squee-
gawed."
"Squeegawed? Squeegawed ? what
dOeS that stand Tor IN the back
counties ?'
"Your door is wider at the bot
tom than at the top"
at can't beY'
"But your eyes will convince you.
There's an inch differencet"
"Never. III bet you a million
dollars there isn't a hairs BREADTH"
! ran for my tape line and soon
proved that the difference was over
an inch.
"Oh, well, ] can fix that in a mo-
ment," but If was o'clock that
evening before he came in. Then
he had pounded one Of his fingers
with the hammer, run tack into
his thumb, got bad hurt from a
brad-awl, and half dozen times
during the night he groaned out IN