Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1890-07-25

Il lfSlO ILtkNk WA -
heard that night at the seminary winch
necessitated investigation by the Mar
shall, who had found the matron and a
dozen young lady pupils manifestlng
symptoms of Ia grippe never before
diagnosed in connection with that com
plaint, the details of which it had been
deemed wise and proper to suppress.
lev. Smythe had been called late in
the afternoon to preach a funeral SER
mon for a worthy pa%rishioner, and had
conducted the services in a very strange
! manner indeed. Waxing, undnly elo-
ouent as he proceeded, he had declared
that the deceased was u brick, had been
a brick from the time Catherine of
Russia had discovered America, and
that most of the later grand improve
ments that enterprise had dumped on
American soil, including the Central
Park obelisque, the pyramid of Ghlza,
and the mummies at the dime museum
had come from the private purse OF the
deceased before he fell into the soup.
J Such a man was dead sure to get a con-
sulate in Kingdom Come or there was
no reliability in the text. The laborer
is worthy Of the jackpot. He felt SYM
pathy for the bereaved widow who was
a slashing pretty woman, and ii he
hadn't already an mcumbrance on his
future freedom of action he would take
her in out of the wet, cold world,
hanged if he wouldn't. He then closed
by saving that ii some good brother
would pass the hat the choir might sing
The Girl l Left Behind Me-" or any
other appropriate hymn.
Gillhooly came in after while and
said that he had been in politics 'steen
wears, and had never had so almighty
mean a trick played on him before. In
his caucus speech he had utterly failed,
and so confused had been his ideas that
he had been unable to tell the OPPOSE
ton whether the tariff on hides ought
to be reduced OF increased. All he
could think of was that blanked Tom
and jerry and the blankety blanhed
fool that had mixed it as q caucus cor
dial
1t was getting pretty hot for Kelly at
Butternut Ridge, and he sold out be-
fore night and left to grow up with a
latitude and longitude farther west.
This is how he happened to be now in
Metropolisville.
Before he had been a week in his
new home he fell into an act of cratic
foolishness that gave his hold Oh for
tune another check. A matrimonial
publication fell into his hands, sent out
by a purported agency that advertise ed
to secure to either sex who paid the fees
a life partner with any qualification de-
sired, including great wealth.
Love is no new thing to an Irishman;
but Great Wealth! Mother of Han
nah! That was worth Investigating.
So he sent his dollar and a ~f1attering
pedigree that lacked nothing but truth.
But to secure partial protection he
signed the fictitious name of John Mer-
r%iweather, but requested letters sent
only to the number Of his postofice
box.
Presently there came a letter breath
ing of unsatistied love and limiting
somewhat indistinctly of wealth galore,
wealth that was a burden. 1t was
signed Winnie Wolfort, and was soon
followed by several others which, in a
short time led to q proposal and q
prompt acceptance.
Miss Wolfort was no chicken, and
meant business. She had made in
q%uiries, and had ascertained that there
was a John Merriweather at Metropo-
l%isville, and that, in the p%arlance Of the
wild and woolly West, he was we'll fixed.
Believing that it is best to strike while
the iron is hot she took the train next
day for Metropo.isville, and, on arrival
inquired where Mr.. Merriweather re-
sided. She was directed to u farmhouse
two miles away. There she found John
Merriwether to he a red-headed son of
toll about SIS years OF age, dressed in o
hickory shirt and overalls, and chewing
plug tobacco as If he had never heard
that such dissipation would cloud his
intellect, impair his health and shorten
his days.
$50 you are John Merriweather? 2" in
quired Miss Woliort with q somewhat
disappointed stare.
"1reckon, mann, you've got on the
right trail this time" Merriweather an
swered, "but if I've eyermet you afore
it must a been when you want dressed
quite so spruce like, and hang me if !
don't disremember your face and name
entirely"
"Isthere any other John EIerriweathe,
in this vicinity?"
Mary II butme. They's aJoshua,
and a Peter and Il William Henry, that's
called Bill for shor., but they's BOYS
O mine, aud they aud the two gals and
me is the only Merriweathers in this
country. l know"
did you ever write to Miss Winnie
Wolfort?"
"Not's 1 member On. I'll did it must
a been forty years ago, for l haint vii,
a line but once sence, and hat was tc
sign a fool contract with a lightning
rod man. Darn 'em, they put clever
hundred feet O rod all over me, and
had to pay right smart too; and thel
the first thunder storm skipped every
thing else just to knock that rodde6
!, house o mine galley west. 1t did, by
jingo."
t There is some very disagreeuble mis-
take about this matter, MI. Merri
weather" exclaimed Miss Wolfort with
flushed face. Look at this letter, sir.
John Merriweathertoo the letter ant
! read it very slowly and carefully.
L Pears to me like a regular lega
. proposal of marriage, Miss. Yes, an,