The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1890-01-24
FUNNY YANKEElSMS.
characteristics OF New England Life and
speech CleyarlY Illustrated.


Speech Cleverly Illustrated.
Clarence Deming contributes to the
Christian Union some characteristics of |
rural New England life and speech taken |
from a notebook of twenty-five years
standing. When, many years ago.
asked rustic citizen of the town, after
his first visit to New York, his opinion
of the great city, his reply was: "Waal,
Ilfeyenrte Why, there on Broadway it
allergs11E1ned s though meetin's just
,sslft4 note book abounds in miscel-
3&H9H4SN ankeeisms CLEANED from the
2whfknLeal characters to be found In
eeafI< D1ck town of Yankeedom. Among
sth9 est of this odd species was Mr..
Pa rugged and antique resident g,
T<t&ern Connecticut village. While
drtt3nk his cows to pasture Mr.. D.
8 na66ssp address them in most emphatic
!; feffa8~ One day, while the animals were
q inuneommonly frOlicsome mood, he was
sovAfheard to say: Eyes, scatter, will
4 yntsB Blast We! if there warn't but one of
S0syNe'd scatterr' On night dark
s Is. krebus, Mr.. D. rushed out ex
.ett&dly on boys pilfering his favorite
pear tree, exclaiming: II see ye!
know ye Where be We! Who are
YEP" His profanity was often most
voluble and redundant; but it never
reached loftier climax than on an oc
casion when he missed the blackboard Of
his wagon after five-mile drive, and
on going back for it, found that he had
- a. - l..
neighbors was a good old dame, the
Mrs. Malaprop of the village, who once
remarked at our dinner table: II know
person who calls the cornish of roof
the tarnish.' She was matched by one
of my old Yankee friends, now gone to
his reward, who corrected an acquaint-
ance reading aloud an account of Presi-
dent LincOln's funeral, saying that the
word corpse was French, and ought to
be pronounced core" 1t was not long
before, at a local sword presentation,
during the civil war, heard one of the
orators exlort the ladies not to forget
the soldiers in the hospitals as well as
on the field. ''For," added he, ''there's
more that is not Slowed on the field of
battle than what is killed by ball" AT
court in that village l was present when
witness testified that ''there was
somewhere between leven and twelve
eggs in the basket" Among the good
Yankee stories of the neighborhood are
the following: "Mr. B, before driv-
ing from his farm to town, used to
delay long delivering what he called
his last words" His vexed hired man
~ act II no
an awful bad man to die; you'd have so
many last words that the undertakers
bill would come in before yer was
dead" One of the oldest native charac-
ters was Mr.. b, an ardent defender
of the doctrine of election. One day
while ''argyfying' with neighbor at
dinner, he lifted a morsel of beef on
fork, asserting: Il have no more doubt,
sir, of the doctrine OF election than that
shall eat that meat" With the en-
Ghasis of his gesture the meat flew off
and was instantly devOured by the
family dog.
Here are a few Yankeeisms, drawn
from the most part from the same To-
cality: ''He buffers sausages"-i. e.,
lives too eXtravagantly; ''Back up your
cart for pass your plate; "Waal, that's
huckleberry too much;'' ''He died of
plexy;" Cant let yer have no eggs to-
day, ''we're settin';' 81 have written
receipt for my husbands tombstone;"
DRAW a long scythe" Sigh; 'These
corns burt me so l most want to walk
backwards" Newark, New Jersey, is
in New York State, isn't it?'' 1--WE had
a fine ball last night! the T. Ostrich
Orchestral played for u.s."
Let me close with this rural telegram
which, many years ago, was permitted
to copy, and which l pen literally, save
the substitution of a spurious name:
John Smith has broken hislags bailey.
All we'll"