Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1890-05-09
your address & see what inducements
you would hold out in regards to my
lecture on Society and Common Sense.

lecture on society ana common sense.
"a. B."
Looking over this little wayside
violet's sweet, flute like tones and FORTS
simo Capitals, one would naturally Con-
graduate the American people ON the
Chance it may soon have to hear person
who Is quite progressing, having Veins
also with dark blue imported blood
into them. Mrs. Bowles has great
field before her. She can lecture fol
some of the young local societies who
have been so bitterly disappointed in
Holmes, Beecher and Ingersoll. Taking
her sweet, flute like voice in shawl
strap, she can go from point to point
emitting her lecture on ''Society and
Common Sense" to lost and undone
world.
would be glad to subscribe for box
poor as / am. If l could cause notes
above Second G with Ease and Equality
where only one had grown before,
would not remain longer in ocscurity.
would soar above mediocrity and dc
much good She says it is by no means
Dry or Prosy lecture, but conveys many
grand ideas to the lofty minds. She
might have trouble, however, in getting
enough lofty minds at some points to pay
her bills Lofty minds do not always
attend lecture of this kind, but fire.
quently stay at home evenings and read
the county paper. If we could only
make an appeal to the Lofty Mind that
would jerk it from its lair on nights
when lectures all Lit up with Fire and
Pathos are to be heard, it would Re a
good thing for all.
In fancy l can now see Mrs. Bowles
dressing in the baggage car, as the train
is late, and as she arranges her toilet be-
hind the peanutter's tin trunk, softly
saying over her crisp little piece lit up
with fire and pathos. Later on | see her
trying to find the stage entrance to the
rink. 1t is locked. 1t always is locked.
After twenty-seven Scene Shutters and
Narcotic Supes have gained entrance
they carefully lock the door, and while
quenching the fire with their salivary
surplus they read ''Punko Pete, the Dire
Disemboweler of Dead Mans Gulch."
Hunting through the alley for the
door, she steps in a mortar bed with her
dress suit. | then hear her make a few
selections, causing notes above second {
on third floor. When she goes in at last
hear her heart fall as she sees few
beetling browed men with their hats on,
who have come because they owned a
vacant saloon in which Autographs had
been inserted in exchange for tickets.
Again | see her tossing on a hot pillow.
afraid to see the morning and the papers.
Finally she nerves herself and buys them.
A sob arises in the throat of Mrs. Bowles
as she discovers that only one of the pa
pers speaks of her lecture, and that one
says:
Mrs. Bowles, the misguided lect-
urer on Society and Common Sense,
appeared in her other dress last evening
before Eli Pangborn and Seth Bloomin-
thai for an hour with a composition which
would scare a horse to death. Mrs.
Bowles has good Autograph, and when
You say that, you have said it.
"P. S.-She can get extra copies of this
issue of the paper for advertising pur-
poses at five cents each. We do not
know whose Autograph she is using"
Anon ! see her also walking down the
street enjoying her bright new litho-
graph, which carries "cud" of tobacco
in each eye, or wears bright red whiskers
and purple nose. Mrs. Bowles has a
bright and beautiful experience ahead of
her if she only knew it. Lofty Minds
are not thirsting for scathing lectures on
society. Lofty Minds might like to see
you, Alfarita, if you have killed several