Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-10-30
NO INDICTMENT

w llO Will TlDDOH uIdSo uIOuul
The city's streets tiny poodle.
- Boston Courier.
NO INDICTMENT.
Freddie-Let us break this cup.
Little Johnny--No; it doesn't belong
to set.-[The Epoch.
HE KNEW A HORSE.
Some men down in Belfast thought to
puzzle local jockey by bringing out
two sorry-looking equines, one consider
ably larger than the other, and asking
him which was the better one. But he
was not caught mapping. He looked
each carefully over examined the feet
of each, and then rendered judgment as
follows:
cones worth just as much as t'other. )"
"How's that?" asked the crowd
"Well, the big one has got more hide
and bones than the smaller one, but the
latter has got the best shoes on, which
makes it about an even thing. D Lewis
ton Journal.
NO DOUBT ABOUT THE HOUSE.
Jehones-Samith, am told you de-
livered your maiden political speech at
the opera house the other night. How
did it go2
Samith with enthusiasm Had tre-
mendous house, Jehones-perfectly tre-
mendous.
"'M-Yes, | know the house is large
one. How about the audiencem
with some constraint)- There was
nearly a hundred of 'em, Jehones-near-
ly Il hundred. y Chicago Tribune.
PROTECTION BY "BUCKEYEs.n
A boy was knocking the horse-chest-
nuts off tree on Cass avenue, when a
pedestrian Observed:
81 suppose you think they will act as
charm to ward off rheumatism, but they
won't"
81 didn't suppose they would, replied
the lad
''Then what do you want of them?"
''To act as a charm to ward off lick
ings. know a boy who carried four of
them in his pockets and didn't get
licked in four straight weeks !"-[ Detroit
Free Press.
SOMETHING TO BRAG OF.
Ted once wrote a poem.
Ned-That's nothing. Every fellow
has done that.
Ted-But sold mine. -[Epoch.
AQUEER SMILE.
Captain-Did you deliver the bou-
quet?
Messenger Boy-Yes, Captain, and
didn't the young lady smile when
handed il to herl
Captain-Smile2 What sort of
smile2
Messenger Boy-The same sort of
smile, Captain, that waiter gives when
he receives Il half-dollar -Fliegende
Blaetter.
A COOKING SCHOOL GRADUATE.
She-Darling, please tell the grocer to
send me up two quarts of nice, fresh
sponges.
He-You can't get sponges at the gro
GERS, ducky, but I'll stop at the druggists
for them. What kind do you want?
She-I want the kind used for making
sponge cake, and tell him they must be
fresh. Seattle Press.
CRUSHING.
He-Do you object to my calling?
She-Oh no. What worries me is
that you manage to find me at home.
Il Epoch.
BADLY OUT OF IT.
Reporter Can see Mrs. b.
Scryant-She's out, sir.
Reporter One of the family, then
Servant--All out, sir.
Reporter--Well, wasn't there fire
here last night =?
Scrvant-Yes; but that's out, too.
HIS CLOSE FRIEND.
Fowestcr-Is Broker one of your close
friends!
Lancls.er-Yes; blamed close. He
won't lend me n cent.
TO HAVE AND TO HOLD.
Real Estate Agent Ito Harlem prop
erty-holderJ-What do you want for that
corner lot you offer for sale9
Property Holder-l am holding it at
$3.50, 600.
Agent-Well, you keep on holding it.
Good day. -[Texas Siftings.
REMINDED.
Boy-Mister, 1 want to get a-um-I-
want pint of-a-thunder-I forgot
Druggists Clerk-Little man, have
you forgotten what you came for2
Boy-That's it
What's it
Boy-Camphor