The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-07-29
Jokes OF THE WAR.

-.od Stories About Confederate Dol
Clara Georgian's Presidency.
from the Chattanooga Times
Once Gen. Hardee came across strag-
l. and asked him "why he did not travel
s...ar and keep up with his command"
The soldier wished to know what in the
lance he had to do with it,"
nOnlv that I am Gen. Hardee, the COM
msnder of this department" was the reply;
1Oh. YOU wrote a book on tactics, did
you .uo..,
ssWeIl = said the private. 81 have been
Taught. according to your rules, how 10
Snnble column at half distance. Now l
wish YOU would tell me how to double-dis-
lance on half rations."
Gen. Hardee stuck spurs to his horse and
Travelled on.
south Carolina brigade was On picket duty
tso-calledJ near Manassas. There was not a
Yankee within twenty miles of US at that
Anne. The next dav there was to be an in
section. AID our hero Lad taken his gun all
10 pieces and was rubbing 1T up so as TO
make a slime the next day, when inspected.
While so d-ipg, Gen Barbam, who was I'M
known to tae soldier, who was a new re-
cruit, Iode up What are you doing there?'
said Gen. D. "OA, am kind of senti-
mel: who are you, anyhow
ooh. | am only "a kind of a brlgadler
general was the answer.
"Hold on wait until l get this darned old
gun together, and will give you kind OF
a present." said the sentinel
But Gen. Barham did not wait. He went
off and reported the luckless soldier, who in
a short time found himself "a kind" of a
prisoner in "a kind" of a guardhouse, and
had to do number of extra hours OF duty
as "a kind" of sentinel.
On one occasion a man from Georgia had
been very persistent i'll personal application
to Gen. Lee for furlough. One morning
the general asked his tormentor If he under
stood the position of a soldier. The latter
said he did. He was ordered to assume it.
Gen. Lee then gave the command: fright
ebout face. forward, march, As he never
gave the command to ''halt, the Georgian
kept on marching until he got tired; but
this little hint cured him, and his next ap-
plication was through the usual channels.
When Gen. Mahoae was wounded at
second Manassas, some one, to comfort Mrs.
Malone. said: "Oh, don't be uneasy; it's
only flesh wound" Mrs. Malone, through
her tears cried out: ooh, | know that is
impossible; there is not enough flesh on him
for that"
| don't know whether this is joke on the
general or the private A day or so after
the old FIRST rSHcneQ MANASSAS JunctlOn, III
August, 1861 one of the men, who did not
clearly comprehend his position, had the
impudence TO ask Gen. Beauregard ''where
certain big guns that had just arrived from
Richmond would be placed The general
replied Young man, il the coat on my
back knew the secrets of my heart, would
cut it in pieces"
On the Peninsula the gallant and jolly
Gen. Bankhead Magruder had ordered q
meal for himself and staff. A hungry rel
and who ever saw one who was not hun
gryl-came up to the farm house, espied
the nicely-filled table, and, without leave OIL
license, sat down and began to annihilatt
things. Just then the general and friends
walked in, escorted by the host. All were
surprised.
HALT" said fiery Magruder, in terms
more explicit than polite, edo you know
whose table that is you are eating ats'
mo. sir, said John Reb, with his mouth
full "W hose is it9n
"Gen. Magruder's sir, the commander Of
this department
IAN right, general" with another big
mouthful. "These war times | amt par
ticular where eat OF who | eat with; si
down and make yourself at home"
The foraging private was unceremo
niously fired out, but not before he haC
nearly gotten outside of q pretty square
meal.