Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1890-11-28
PITH AND POINT.

Lay fiyurcs-An estimate of the egg
crop.
Made out of whole c.otl-Mosquito
netting.
A sharp advance in edged tools may
be looked for.-Pcayune.
We might boast OF our native cyclones,
but unfortunately they leave nothing to
blow about.-INiladelphia Times.
Wifc-"How can make cake, ohm
We are short of flour and sugar" Illus
baud-'Surc7 Then make shortcakc."
TROUBLES never come singly," rs the
young father remarked when they told
him it was twins.-BurlingtoR Free Press.
The rhetoric of convIcts is abominablc;
at all events they have great aversion
to finishing their sentences. -I'hiladelphiu
Press.
"Busincss failures seem to come in
waves" remarked Cumso, "No," replied
Fangle, "they come in bill-owcs. -
Epoch.
"Why Brown doesn't know enough to
come in when it rains" "IIe doesn't
need to, he has my best umbrella. -
Bazaar.
The bunco man seems to have n streak
of bcncvolencc about him. He is always
willing to take stranger in.-Bostoa
Commercial.
Ue aimed, Of course, at tho maiden's heart,
She was so fair and sweet.
But soon, whether aiming right or wrong,
He found himself at her feet
-Phiiddelphia Times.
''Who wrote the Psalmsl" asked the
superintendent, severely. And then q
little girl in the infant class began to cry.
''It wasn't me, sir, she said.-Mc,o York
SIN.
Mistress-"Bridget," I wouldn't hang
the clothes on that electric wire. VOW
may get shocked. Bridgct-"Sure
mum, I've scen'em all bcforc."- Munsey',
Weekly.
He (at the baseball gamc)-"Do yop
know what muif is, sweet2" She
(blushing)-''Why, of course dol II
is something your hands can meet i'm
Burlington Pree Press.
Crimplc = "Don't you think Mis-,
Doxey plays better than she sings2" Miss
Trumblc-"I don't know. When l heat
her sing think she does. When she
plays 1 think she sings better. Nee
York World.
Photographers Ito young LADY, =
"Ehere is 40 need OF telling you to look
39aassli MS yGh 4 tsss cannot bs
otherwise than pleasant" Young Lady
& (gracionsly) 4-''1 will take two dozen,
sir, instead of one dozen. = Boston
Courier.
'Is your building framc2" asked tho
insurance agent. "No," said the owner
"it is of iron and stone and warranted
perfectly fireproof." "Perfectly fife.
proof, CHI Then it comes in the extra
hazardous class, and the rate is much
higher than if it were simply frame. u
Norristoion Herald.
"Do you know, my DEAR" said
Mr.. Darringcr, rs he smiled fondly
upon his young hopeful, al be.
licve that our boy has inherited my
amiablc dispositions" "That explaint
it, remarked his wife with demure
smile. "I've been wondering for some
time what had become of it"-IHe Ken.
stone.
"A1y friend" said tho dignified, cleri.
cal-looking man to his seat mate in the
car, ~ am afraid from the character OF
the book you are reading that you haven't
enough thought for the future. u
Thought for the futurol Great Scott
l a member of the Chicago Board OF
Trade2 Don't deal in futures l"- Wash
ington Post.
"Do you know" said one tramp to
another, that the old dufTer who has
just gone up the street had the impu-
dcnco to tell me that if hadn't spent
my money for whisky 1 might be own
ing brick house." What did you say9n
''I' reminded him with great sarcasticness
that brick houses is not fit ter drink. -.
Washington Post.
Boy-"Please, sir, may I have the
afternoon Off My grandmother is to be
buried" Employer-"This is the eighth
grandmother you have buried since the
baseball season opened" "Boy-I know
it, sir, l came of very old family, and
my ancestors can't stand the excitement
OF two leagues. They're dying off fast. "
-Neao York Herald.
''You want to know the reason why I
did not take the pledge, Helcnl" eyes (;
you promised to do it as proof of your
love-" fBut l couldn't, because if I
swore that nothing Intoxicating should
touch my lips, darling, how could kiss
you3 Sect" And he acted as if he
would take great deal of lip from her
before he would sign anything like a
pledge. -Phiiadelphia Press.
| Artificial Wood.