The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1890-12-05
puNeENr PARAGRAPHS.

Elder Sister-"Why don't You i'm.
prove your mind. Belle. instead OF con-
tinually dawdling about the house?"
Belle-"What's the use? I'm engaged"
-Ethel-'Poor Clare! She is growing
old" Maud-."It must seem sad to you,
seoing you have known her since she
was an infant in arms."-N. Y. Horald.
-"One Of the papers gives list OF
gems for the months" ~ saw that 1t
wasn't accurate. 1t didn't mention coal
once all through the winter months."-
IIarper's Bazaar.
"A Canadian doctor has just been tes-
tifying that murdered mans heart
stopped right in the middle OF beat"
That's nothing; policemen often do the
same thing. Herald.
You have parted from Miss Win
gis forever?" "Yes. was always
afraid her brother would cause our sep
aration, and he did" 81 didn't know
she had y brother" "But she has I'm
her brother" -Philadelphia Press.
"A mother always feels compli-
mcnted when you toll her how much sho
looks like hor daughter, but tho man
who thinks to please the daughter by
telling her how much she looks like hor
mother is a fool. -Somorville Journal
Willing to Learn: George Ito de- b
utanto sister) = I'm almost sorry to
500 you 20 into society. Edith; you arc
like rosehud-so pure, so innoccnt"
Edith-"Nevcr mind, George, I can
learn. Puck.
An Autumn Incident: DR.. A. to Dr.
B.-"Nico trick you have played mo
during my vacation. Here turned over
to you lot of patients have had for
years, and you have cured them all up
in month. '-Courrier dos Flats Unis
"A man will abuse tho loafers HIM
self, but whom he has an idle day and n
busy friend, did anyone ever know him
to respect tho time of his busy friend so
much that no did not go around to his
place and loaf with him?-Atchison
Globe.
Caution: Little Boy Tin crowded
street car, to pretty little girl)-'I'n
give you my seat if you'll take it," Lit
Ito Girl twhispering)-.I'm ever so
much obliged, but you shouldn't offer
your seat until You are ready to get off.
cause people will think you're from tho
country. Good News
lie (about to take 20 his dcparturel
Where did leave M hat? Why
your pug is playing with IL in the cor
ner. -yes-ho's torn tho lin
ing out?' Sho-"O, isn't he cunning?
Stay little while longer and wcll
watch him play with it. Isn't no anus
ing?'
II should think, Mr.. Owclots. that
you would be afraid to marry me- am
so old and have so much money that
people might misiudge your motive"
My sweet Angelina, ! love you so. that
would willingly marry you though you
were three times as old and had twice
as much money Boston Times.
Mate ION ocean steamer, rushing
into cabin Captain, vessel has boon
sighted oil to tho southeast displaying
signals of distress. Shall wo change our
course to help them?" why, man, are
you crazy? Certainly not IIavo you
forgotten that we stand a chance of
beating the record on this trip?"-Bos-
ton Herald.
No Help Wanted. -Visitor-"I say,
old boy, you are the most absurdly in
fatuated husband ever saw in INV life.
considering how long you've boon mar
ried. You praise evory dish your wife
makes and yet her cooking is abomina-
ble." Host-"Sh! Don't speak so loud.
l know her cooking is bad; but if | say
word She gets discouraged and sends
for her mother. IN. Y. Weekly.