Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1890-11-12
FUN.

FUN.
III the young ladies of this great aHi
glorious country were not so attractive
ss they are, great many young mep
would never go 10 ochurch.-Someryill,
Journal.
The line must be drawn somewhere
Mr.. Wooly. If q man insists OF
wearing a flannel shirt, he Is lucky i,
IL isn't drawn around his neck
Puck.
Ii Is stated that our naval force q
Samoa consists of one admiral, TIVE
officers and five men" The Navy De
psrtment should send on two more Of
ficers, 50 that in case of mutiny th,
forces will be equally divided
Life.
He knew.-NIr. Hibred-"Whst d,
you suppose the bard referred to wher
be wrote of the 'slippered pantaloon?''
Mrs. Slapdash-''Really, l have ne
idea" Il bet You 1 know!" M,
son you were not spoken to-
Truth.
Sessonable.-wife-"Can YOU Civ,
me some money, John, dear?" Hus
bsnd-''What do you want it for?'
WI want TO buy new switch q
the hair store" HI see; you
want me TO make contribution - the
fresh hair fund. Boston Courier.
Refreshing names Old Sosker-
"Can you recommend some beach
where can go without striking mis-
cradle, dry, prohibitory desert2'
Friendly-''Les's see. Juniper, Ry,
or Bar Harbor would seem to offer you
choice Of evils. Lowell Citizen.
".See here, Mr.. Grocer" said Hart.
ford housewife, elf you are going to
bring me any more goods l want them
TO be sf the very best" 1--WE keer
, none but the best" II presume so.
But you sell the worst in order TO keep
the best. Hartford Post.
Would-be purchaser-ssThese cigar
are much smaller than usual" Tobsc,
conist - ''Yes; you see, the cigar
manufacturer noticed that the last two
inches of the cigar are always thrown
away, so he makes them now thai
much shorter. ."-Soston Gazette.
\ Moving Plaint-George-''win
you" Aice-"Oh, George, this i,
so sudden" George-ssNot bit of
it. That hairpin of yours has been
sticking into my shoulder for the last
twenty minutes, and 1 can't stand il
any longer. VIII you please move
little American.
Twisted history-Sunday schoo,
tescher-"And now, Johnny Hspgood,
it's your turn. What did his father
do when the prodigal son resurnedF"
Johnny (who can't help reading the
sporting editions of the daily press
please, sir, he jumped on his mech
aud kissed him Puck.
Young Harduppe-''But don't you
think you could learn to love me? l.
there no hope?' Ancient heiress-s1
am afraid not, Mr.. Harduppe. My
heart was lost when l was but young
girl" Mr.. Harduppe-"But you
ough1n't to count what happened be-
fore the wal. ."-Terre Haute Express.
Reason Dethroned.-Judge-
you ever notice any signs of insanity
in the deceased?" Witness "a mem
Der of the Legislature -"Well, once,
when he was a member of the Iegi%
lature, he introduced = bill that wasn't
q particle of interest to anybody-ex-
cept taxpayers New York Weekly.
And l want to say, To my huI
band, in an appropriate place" said
the widow In conclusion TO Slab, the
gravestone man. "Ysssum," saio
Slab. And the inscription went on:
'sTo my husband, in an appropriat'
place. ce."-Chlcago LIAR
Not Her Size.-Customer from Seed
ville-.'Do you keep the best make OF
shoe. here?' City Dealer-"Ysss
our shoe. are all A No. l." Gus
toner from Seedville -" "Then you
can't suit me. / take B No. 81
Munsey's Weekly.
Miss Hortense (of Boston, :-"In'
deed, can hardly look into the deep
opslsscent amethyst of the star-be
spsngled midnight sky without recall
ing Rosetti's thin, blue flames of soul
on their way to Heaven Then, too
the soulfulness of inner mentality il
grandl Have you ever read 'Sully''
Psychologyf' Mr.. Charles (slso o,
Boston)-"No; but 1 think 1 shall
first chance I get, since he did up Kill
rain in such great shape l"-Light.