The Sunday herald and weekly national intelligencer., 1890-12-21
nobody was left but few boobies and three or
four hansoms.
ADoG's WAY OF "GETT1NG THERE.n

A Dogs WAY OF "GETTING THERE"
They tried to make up to Charley, but he re-
fused he walked along and looked at every
hanson, selected the best, jumped in, seated
himself, and refused to get out. All the per-
suasion in the world had no effect on him. At
last the driver, out of curiosity, took hold Of
him by the collar and looked at it. On it was
his masters name and club address. Being a
clever chap, he jumped up on the box, drove to
town to the club, and stopped. Charley made
one leap from the hanson to the club steps,
where he was let in by the doorkeeper, who
knew him well. The hanson man was promptly
paid his fare and Charley, once more at home,
was greeted joyfully by his master, who had just
missed him, and cheered enthusiastically by the
club for doing what any well-bred man would
do under the circumstances To-day Charley is
a resident of New York That blissful dog, who
rejoices, by the by, in the most lovely white
shirt front you ever saw, came to pay me and
my Chum a visit, and can assure you that if
he had expressed the slightest desire to eat
either of us he might have done it. AS it was,
he had tea to drink, cakes to eat, and three rap
turously pretty women-I am not including my
self in this party-to adore him. This is true
story.
A ''sECOND-HANDn LADY.
Did you ever send for a secondhand lady to
come to you? l don't mean that she was a
secondhand lady exactly, but lady who dealt
In secondhand clothes. Well, she sent me a
card, and underneath her name, strongly sug-
gestive of Judea, was written and underlined
''From Paris" And that fetched me. | sent
for her. She arrived before | was up, and
while she was waiting grew so economical l
only took one lump of sugar in my coffee.
Then when she came in and saw the huge pile
of clothes, most of them things that ought to
be wearing, awaiting her. and the proud air on
my face, she looked at me and said, rather con-
temptuously, that she didn't think much of
them. | never saw anybody who had such a
snifty way in my life. A Felix coat she tossed
by with scorn an evening gown that was as
good as new she looked at with Indifference,
while other belongings she Jumped with an air
of derison, Then she said that she would give
me $3.50 for the whole lot, and
I TOLD HER TO GO HOME
She said great many ladies, real ladies, were
willing to sell as many clothes as that for the
price of pair of gloves, and told her didn't
need pair of gloves. Then risked my reputa-
tion as real lady, and, standing up i'll the
majesty of an uncurled bang, crimson Japa-
nese dressing-gown, pair of white Turkish
slippers, and heart on my neck marked "To q
good grl,n told that old woman to go, and II
she didn't go l would get District Messenger
boy to put her out. She went and l sat down
and cried; and l said to myself, "Bab, you are
the most consummate idiot in the world. What
do you want doing with secondhand people
Do as you have always done, give your things
away to irst-hand people, and have the pleasure
of hearing somebody saying thank you for them
The only thing l can say in eXtenuation of you
Bah, is that it is your first, and, please gracious