The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1890-03-08
The Ferguson Family.

man, lncIlnoU 10 Oe JOlly, Wnlle MS
wife was tall and angular, and de-
lighted IN making married life Il
dismal waste for him. They were
blessed with one child, u boy about
nine years old, who was mischiev-
BUSINESS personitied.
The Fergusons had just forsaken
their boarding-house with the in
tention of engaging II fat. They
gazed intently at five or six, until
they came to one which Mrs. Fer
guson declared just the thing.
allowed if / like the neighbor-
hood" said Ferguson, timidly.
"Oh, indeedw sneered Mrs. Fer
guson, "you don't like the neighbor-
hood, do you! Perhaps you would
turn up your little, undergrown
nose if you were asked to live sin
the neighborhood of the Wander
bilts and Astors, wouldn't you ?"
"Oh, l don't know. | think l
might manage to struggle along
for little while among that gang,
but let's look at the fiat"
They find the janitor, who gives
them the keys, and they proceed.
Mrs. Ferguson preceived that her
husband did not like the fiat, and
made up her mind to engage it.
81 think it is Il perfect gem of a
fiat" said she, gleefully, as they
enterered the first room.
"Well, l don't see 1T. Just look
at that ceiling! L can nearly
touch it with my hand! Wish the
rent was as low as it is"
"Oh, I didn't think you would be
satisfied, Mr.. Ferguson. But / am
pleased with it and that settles it,"
"What in thunder is this, wond-
er?"
"Why, that's the kitchen, you
idiot. What did your massive
brain think it was ?"
"Well, if | hadn't climbed up
three flights of stairs / would have
been willing to gamble that it was
the coal bin in the cellar"
every smart, Mr.. Ferguson, very |
smart, indeed. Have you any
more pleasant remarks to make ?"
ooh, no, only / would like to
know if this house was ever rented
for Il morgue?"
"Ugh! Mr.. Ferguson, you are
perfect bear"
swish to heaven L was, madam.
Bears don't have to live in flats
and tie badgered to death about the
rent"
"Now, Mr.. Ferguson, this fiat
suits me exactly. When / married
you made use of the same words,
and made horrible mistake, but /
am older now, and know what
suits me. The rooms are large and
airy, and the tenants, especially the
nice-looking gentleman whom /
saw on the first floor, seem to be
very respectable"
"Respectable! / don't see how
you can call that duck on the first
floor respectable-looking Did you
notice how the i'll hammered brute
stared at me?"
Just at this moment their little
boy, Johnny, came rushing up
stairs.
"Say, pop" he shouted, "man on
first floor wants to know if you are
all wool?"
"All woolw gasped Ferguson,
looking around for something to
throw.
"Yep. Said he knew you We're a
yard wide. but didn't know wheth-
er you were all wool.
Mrs. Ferguson chuckled softly as
Johnny rushed down stairs.
They proceed.
"And this is the bathroom"
sneered Ferguson. It's pity we
are not blessed with baby. That
bath-tub is about the right size for
is very small baby"
~ admit, Mr.. Ferguson, that it is
not as large as the artificial basin ,
in Central Park, in which the hip
bathes-which no {
1oubt would suit you better-but
this fiat is intended for human be-
ings."
"Do you intend that to be an al
usiOn to my size ?" asked Fergu-
son, with glare in his eye that
ooked dangerous.
"Oh, no, not at all. What have
you go tot say about the dining
'oom ?"
"Nothing, except that it is SO I
small that each member of the .
amily would have to dine by him
;el[ But that is an advantages and :
lot an objection," said Ferguson, +
,iaring around.
4