Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1890-08-21
PADDY's POI CASE.
No Pinsions for Fol Bolters

war, was sitting in his Office one day
when there came a timid rap at his
door.
"ComeI" called out the officer in his
prompt and military way. The door
opened aud disclosed the figure of an
Irishman. shabby and ill at ease, his
clothes fitting him like a yard of can
vas on picket-fence.
The visitor made an awkward at
tempt at military salute, and twirling
his slouch hat sat gingerly down on the
edge of a chair.
What can 1 do for you, my man ?"
asked the General kindly, as his eye
fell upon the army blue.
"Bedad, it amt for mesilf Dim
AKIN itp"
"For friend?"
"Oxactly, sorl Yez see, it was Pc
culiar kess, sor, an it's pinsion Ohm
aftherl"
Whose pensionp"
"A pinsion for the wildly of Paddy
Maginnis- pace to his sowll"
What is the trouble about getting
the widow a pension? ?"
Well, sor, some sez that Paddy's
disability was not incurred In the loin
av juty,' sor!"
State your case, and I can advise
you better afterwards"
"Yis, sor; thank We, Ginerl. Here
goes, sor! 1t was this way: 1t was
whin We was layin' aroun' Frederioks-
burg, sor, wild moity slim rations, sor,
that We med oop our moinds that we
mus git SOON eatables SOON place or
'nuther, an Paddy Maginnis, he sez t.
me, sez e, 'Mikey, Ohm that Imply that
Oi could walk trough a crack widout
techin' ayther side,' sez e. Paddy was
q greet by for his joke was Paddy.
Will, sez Oh, let's skirmish aroun' on
the outskirts, sez Oh, an mebbe we kin
strike bonanzy, seq Oi. Will, sor, we
did. just outside av camp we NIT an
ole crather sellin' wat she called swate
petaty poi an Paddy guy her dollar
shinplaster for cooplel Well, sor,
thas night Paddy Maginnis was took
the. sick wild his stomich that Oh niver
seen the bate av it; an Oh was moighty
sick mesilf, bedad; an by the toim
Paddy had lived till mornin' he was as
dead as sardyne! Well, sor, Paddy
had big family an nobody but their
yore little sickly mother t work for
thiml But whiniver Oi say anything
about Paddy's kess, Everybody begins t
smoker. Wan sez, Thin Southern
pois kilt more than the intire Southern
musketryP or Come off wild yer poi
pinsion kess' or old man, how much
tole do We git out O. thin pois?'
"Ginerl, Oh tell you, sor, that no man
kin foight on an Imply stomach my
more than he kin work on it! An Oh
insist, sor, that in thin instances poi is
just as much in the loin av duty as
rifles is, sor an Oh hope, sor, that
you'll excuse me for sayin that there is
seoh a thing ez bein' too-too-too-
ad-adjectiye funny in pinsion mathers!
(Oi niver cuss in the prisince ov me
superiors, sorP)
Have you proof positive of all this ?"
"Oi have, sorl"
"The pies were poisoned to kill off
the hungry soldiers9"
"They was, sor!"
"Well, Mr.-Mr. -
Murphy, sorl"
"Well, Mr.. Murphy, I think your
case is meritorious."
"Yis, sor; does that name it's o. K. ?"
"Yes, my mani And think it will
be properly adjudicated. Have you
been to the Commissioner
"Now, sor, they sid in Hardscrabble
that no poi boiter would iver draw no
pinsionl"
"I'll see to this matter" said the
General, the corner of his mouth
twitching. He did, and poor Paddy
Naginnis's honest, hard-working little
widow got her lust rights.
An Extravagant Queen.
The only queen of to-day who can
match the Empress Eugenie's extrav-
agance of former days is the Queen of
Portugal, who spends money in the
same reckless manner and buys by the
wholesale. She does not wait to ex-
anime and make her selection before
purchasing. She buys all the styles of
the day direct from Paris, giving orders
for the leading houses to send anything
that is new and beautiful, wears what
pleases her and casts aside the rest.
She has good taste, and when one of
these collections of dresses, mantles,
hats, gloves, boots, laces, etc., arrives
from Paris, she makes long study of
each article, trying ON many things,
studying the combination with the lines
of her figure, the color of her hair, until
she gets harmony perfect in all its
details. She is generous and loves to
make costly and eccentric gifts, but in
that way no one has surpassed the
beautiful Queen of Holland. On her
husbands recent birthday she presented
him with an enormous boquet of flow
ers, so heavy that it required several
serving men to carry it. AS it was
brought close to the throne the old
King stopped forward to examine it.
when amidst the flowers the head of