The Washington critic. (Washington City, D.C.) 1890-1890, 1890-02-16

TO place an ocean between myself and
him.
What is worth having is worth ask
ing for
Perhaps have not outlivcd my faith
in Ideals. perhaps deludc myself even
while pointing out the delusions that
rule my own sex, but still think that
men such as have described do exist,
and that many a woman yet may do
Joyous homage TO her king without
ceasing to be herself sovereign.
Mis-. FRANK LESLIE
WIT AND HUMoR.
Bagley--Well, who are you looking rory
Bailey-Oh, nobody In particular.
Bagley-Why don't you look in the
glass.-Judgc.
1Ie-Kiss me, darling
Shc-One moment. Have you had La
Grippe?
He-Yes.
She--Thcn wait till take some quinine
Life.
With a woman it is a struggle to provide
something for the inner man, and with
man it Is an effort to provide something for
the outer woman.-AtchiSo8 Globe.
Burroughs (handing Mrs. Flapiack
check at the breakfast table Hasn't Rob
inson come down yet
Mrs. Flapiack-No, sir, not for four
eks.-Timc.
Mr. MattiX instructor in arithmetic
George, what is the dividend?
George Cartrust (sOn of President Car
trust Of p, =. e Il. Il. r. Co. Its what
is left after the "divide. "-PUch.
Old Friend unexpected arrival And so
this is your daughters coming out party?
Practical Mother-Yes, and If hadn't
put my veto on those dressmakers she
would have been out good deal further
than she is.-Nelo ioh Weekly.
Ton Viyant psychologists, appeal to
you to have that man eiected-the large
man with the red face.
Restaurant ProprietOr-What's the mat
ter? Is he a crook
(Savagely)-Worset than that | just saw
him cut raw oyster.-Ti Time.
Waterman (breathlessly) boys
dormitory is on fire, and If they find it ont
they'll stop to save their footballs, bats
and things and perish.
Boarding-school Principal (quickly)-
stairs in two minutes won't get any pie
NciV York Weekly,
Judge-W What's the charge, officer?
Ofllcer-Petty larceny, your honor.
Prisoner Gnterrupting)--l beg your par
don, Judge; the charge is impersonating an
officer.
Judge How do you make that out?
Prisoner took a handful Of peanuts
and an orange from poor woman's stand
without paying forthem.-E1chGage,
BREAD is the staff of life you know
said the farmers wife to the tramp.
~ know it isl answered the tramp,
sadly; "and l know I've got too lean on
it.n-Ppck.
Sunday-school Teacher-By their fruits
We shall know them. Willie Brown, you
may tell me what that means.
Willie Brown--You can always tell a
Dago by his banana stand. Puck.
JacE-Shall ! kiss Won:
NellieDo it ii you dare.-Puct.
Turner-That Sampson is mean man
DrRwly-Yaws, by jove, he said the
othaw night that | weminded him Of Raw-
NUNS what-is-it.
"But will say of him, he's as honest AS
the day is long - ltDlc.
Teacher-What part of speech is "but>n
Michael--liut is conjunction.
Teacher-CoTect. Now give me an eX-
ample Of its use.
Mlchael-See the goat but the boy But
connects the goat ana the boy.-HoiPcr'S
Ba:ar.
Look Here, Friend, Are You Sick?
DO you suffer from Dyspepsia, Indiges-
ton, Sour Stomach, Liver Complaint, Merry
business, Lost Appetite, Billiousness EX-
haustion or Tired Feeling, Pains in Chest
or Lungs, Dry Cough, Night Sweats or any
form Of Consumption? II so, send to Pro
fessor Hart, IS Warren street, New York,
who will send you free, by mall a bottle OF
FlorapleXion, which is a sure cure. Send
to-day.
The LEADING grocers have POrtner's
Vienna Cabinet and Culmbachcr in bottles.
| Order case and he convinced that ii is the
4 best in the market.
/ You can order The CRITIC by postalcard-