Sacramento daily record-union., 1890-04-06
"BiCKVOODs BELLIES"
ONE OF THEM TELLS ABOUT THE LAKE
COUNTY MIssoURIANs.
Another Relates How the Lakeport Bellies
Have Taken to the Physical
Culture Idea.

EDS. SUNDAH UNION maven QlSCOV-
cred yet, Mr.. Editor, who "B. B." is but 1
felt awfully proud when 1 saw the letter
wrote you published. showed it to Jack,
and he lauged and said was perfect
genius and that my vocabulary was i'm.
proving wonderfully. 1 didn't know but
vocabulary was some new-fangled word for
complexion, but didn't dare to ask what
it meant, cause he had been praising me
up SO, that to acknowledge my ignorance
would have been perfectly awful. Don't
tell anybody. but hunted for that word in
the dictionary, that Mrs. Jones lent me, for
three whole days. Jack says some day. if
l keep on improving my mind, he'll buy
me Webster's dictionary under the
bridge, and then l can learn all the big
words choose. | didn't dare show what
wrote to pa, cause he'd cussed a perfect
blue streak, he'd been SO mad at what l
said about him.
It's lots of fun to write when no one
knows who you are. You know poor
Laura" just put her foot in it cause some
how people spotted her right away. Oh,
my stars but didn't she create sensatiopl
Ii the Louisville cyclone had struck this
place it couldn't have created a greater
Juror. If you could only have been here
you would have been more than proud of
the sudden popularity of the REcoRp
UNION. People went perfectly wild over
1t, and talked of nothing else for seven con-
secutive days; they had Laura" for break
fast, for dinner and for supper, and clawed
and scratched each other for possession of
the paper until it looked like the last end
of "A tramnfS r0at-taiI No, oo,J.I .x, lo--..
town any time of the day and see groups
of men here and there with one in their
midst reading aloud, while the others
stood by with open mouths and distepded
nostrlls listening as attentively as if their
very lives depended on their catching every
word. The women, especially the bellies"
| all loved each other better'n ever. and
you trust me for it-there wasn't any for.
NAL calling; everybody just rushed into
every body else's house and deplored the
utter depravity of poor Laura" There
were enough tears shed to have supplied
one hundred and fifty funerals; and, be-
tween you and me, Mr.. Editor l believe
| that's what caused so much rain.
MIR. Editor, want to ask you something.
Did the Missourians ever distinguish them
| selves in anyway? You know that in Lake
county we are nearly all Missourians
(there are some few Americans). and we
are thinking very seriously OF changing
the name of our county to that of New
Missouri. l wish they would, because then
pa might feel more reconciled to living
mere Last week one day l was waltzng
up Main street and l met Judge K. and we
waltzed along together. He told me was
regular "Hebe." l don't know what that
is, but 'spect its something like calling
girl daisy" Well, after he'd admired
me sufficiently and stepped on nv dress
half dozen times, he asked me if / was a
Californian. | said, "Oh, no, was 'borned'
in Missouri" ''Missouree =" saws he
"Missouree, why 1 thought YOU were
-" He said the rest so low that |
couldn't hear. l said huh ?" to him sew
eral times, but reckon he didn't hear me.
Ia always says Californians don't know
much, and that Missouri is a great deal
nicer, but don't think so. People ALWAYS
look 50 kind OF queer-that is, them that's
not Mlssourians s-whenever l talk about
our home in Missouri. Of course, our
home there wasn't as fine as it is here. We
have quite large house here-four rooms
and kitchen, and in Missouri we only
had two rooms-and then here we have
shakes on the roof and back home we had
shingles. guess shakes are more stylish
tnat's why they have them here.
What made me ask you whether thew
had ever distinguished themselves in any
way, was, that the Amaricans all seem to
be kind of jealous of us. Pa thinks of
leaving here, and he doesn't quite know
whether he'll go to San Francisco or to
Milpitas. We've had some more rain, and
there is no danger of our leaving here un-
til Jerry (he's the stage driver finds the
bottoms that dropped out of the roads dur
ing the winter. Did it ever rain where Won
live? The streets here lost their look of
rawness and nakedness long ago, and are
decorated and beautifed by picturesque
little mud holes that are very deceiying.
You walk along and step into what YOU
suppose to be an inch of mud and YOU
suddenly find your pedal extremity en-
cased up to your knee in a perfect lop-
lolly.
Why don't you come up to Lakeport to
fish? There are any amount of suckers.
1t is common thing to see two or three
dozen with linked fins promenading up and
down Main street, discussing politics and
prohibition, and betting on who will be the
next Superior Judge of Lake county. Jack
told me who he thought would be, but he
told me not to tell, and l promised
wouldn't. haven't told any one but pa,
and ma, and granny, and Mrs. Brown. and
Smiths hired girl and the milkman.
It's getting powerful late. SO good night.
I'll go wrap myself in my robe of slumber
and cast myself into the embrace of Nor
pheus. Au revoir. &C.