The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1890-08-25
BUMPS AND JINKS.


ago, weary and worn after attempt
ing to record the proceedings of the
day, he came upon his two old &C
quaintances, Bumps and Jinks. 1t
was a delightful relief. They sat
down in the shade, smoking their |
pipes and recounting their expert !
ences. Seating himself by them,
they continued their conversation.
1t seems they had been spending the
afternoon listening to the proceed
ings in the House.
Look here Bumps" said Jinks,
II didn't seem to recognize most of
them fellows in there. They have
shipped new crew since 1 was here
last. haven't they?'
YES" replied Binks, they've
new officers and almost an entire
new set forward. From first mate
to cabin boy they is mostly all new
hands"
"Waal, now, I dew declared said
links. II thot I didn't recommem-
Der them. | look'd over to where
the four parsons sat, and somehow
they didn't seem to look just like the
old officers. Who was the fine pious
looking gentleman sitting next. to
the door? He seemed so comfortable
and rested like that it did me good"
ooh, that was Cummins, the first
mate; they calls him Primer l don't
know why 'zactly, but Teller told
me that the Natural Deform party
would larn some lessons from him if
they went too far"
"And VINO was the next one with
the long beard, and smiles So sweet?
He looks pretty good"
"That was Spencer. He has
charge Of the Internal Apartment.
He hasn't been there long, but they
say he has got lots of good sense, and
tho he don't like ter hurt amy
body's feelin's he'll stand up straight
when it comes ter the scratch"
"And the next one, dressed SO
neat, and his face and forehead
shaved 80 smooth?"
ooh, that was Brown. He's pay
master. They calls him Minister of
Fine Aunts, and do yer know they
say his aunts is fine lot. He's a
pretty nice kind of Teller, but if
they crowd him he gifts as sarcastic
as the back end of or yellow-yacket.
He's brother ter the young lawyer
Teller who was Elected from Colau-
poker when you was here before"
And the last one? He doesn't
seem to measure as large outside as
some of 'em. But yer can't always
tell about them small craft, they
sometimes outsail the big one"
That's So" Jinks. His name is
Peterson, and he's a mighty trim
little craft You know the best things
is ginerally put up in small pack
ages"
But I say, Bumps" said Jinks
"who do you mean by the Natural
Deform party; l didn't seem te
notice him, who does he look like p
"Oh," Jinks, she isn't Teller
its lot of fellers. Don't you re
member the Mechanics Onion and
the Hewey Carolina that I told you
about just before you sailed last
time? Well, they joined together
and made Natural Deformed
party. There's lots of good mer
among them and lots that isn't good
You know when one of feller's legs
is good and one is crooked, or he's
so crossed eyed that he walks in the
opposition direction when he wants
to get anywhere, or tries to wall
both ways at once, they call him de
formed.
well, this here party is some
thing like that. Some of then
thinks one thing and says another
and does something else. Some O.
their legs is short and some is long
Some mean what they says and some
doesn't. Some is good and some
wants to be but can't, and some
doesn't want to be. And some NEAR
to be good and others don't want 'en
to be-"
ooh! I begin to understand
Bumps. But what did that fellel
mean about the Primer teaching
some of them?"
"Why, you see he knows he's go
a valuable cargo and fine ship in hi
! charge, an he's not agoing to let an.
Of them run her aground. Whe1
he's got an open sea on one side ane
unsafe passage full of shoals OF
the other, he's not agoing risk losing
his ship for anybody.
''This here Highwyan country il
like a ship at sea with valuable
cargo, and mixed crew aboard pull
ing and hauling in different direc
tions, and all hands trying to giv'
orders; a good deal depends on tn,
officers; if they doesn't control tn
thing mighty careful it will never gi
to port"
"But, Bumps, what is all this ]
heard Teller sayin' about a Conster
national Invention, or something o
that sort?'
"a what7 Oh, 1 know what 70,
mean, the Constitutional Convention
Well, its long story, and I'll tel
you another time. its late now and
must be going"-
So they departed.
An Fairly Runaway and its Results.