Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1890-06-19
ABOUT socIAsIuIN.
It Ii . Good Thing, But L. Liable Som
times to BE Abused.

ABOUT SocIAsILIIY.
It L. . Good Thing, But IL Liable Some.
times to BE Abused.
The influence of sociability upon the
character and behavior of men is now SO
important that it is we'll to consider
what kinds of sociability promote their
moral welfare. Good-natured, friendly
people are perforce sociable. They like
to be in the society of others. make
friends easily, and sometimes become so
enamored Of life in society that they
neglect graver duties This is an injury
to themselves and to others, butit arises
from an abuse of sociability or intem-
| perance in its use. Others are incapa-
BILE Of appreciating any kind of sociabil-
| ity that is not boisterous in character,
and to promote high spirits in them
selves and friends resort to drink, and
| find enjoyment only in scenes of merri-
ment promoted by vicious indulgences-
This form of sociability is, of course. in
| furious, but it represents an abuse OF
| that which in itself is good. The man
| who keeps to and within himself grows
| selfish, callous and Indifferent and out
| of sympathy with the rest of mankind,
and he is punished for it by loss
of the friendly interest of others in his
welfare, for there is a kind of COM
| mercial or trade rule governing friend
ship and unconsciously observed by
every body. Every body expects re-
| turn of friendship for friendship, and
| nobody is the friend of the man who is
| friend to nobody. Sociability therefore
implies or is based upon mutual friend
| ly interest, at least for the time being.
| Strangers who meet but once may be
sociable, but while they are together
| they must act as friends. That it is
good thing to do so may be inferred
/ from the fact that to be friendly one
must surrender little selfishness, de-
velop an interest in others and display
q kindly sympathy. The reactionary
effect of such behavior on character is
beneficial, so that by being sociable one
promotes his own welfare. The general
happiness of any circle or community
is greatly increased by sociability. 1t
is not enough for any rightly constituted
man that he shall have for his own en-
joyment the good things of life. To
properly appreciate them he must share
them with others and have his own
qualification reflected in that of
his friends and neighbors. But
he is denied this if he has
1 AO1 DccH SOCldDie 4ruc lElouUS
can not be bought at will or made in q
day. The manowho has selfishly pur-
sued his business, neglecting all social
duties to devote his time to money-get-
, ting until he has amassed fortune,
; finds too late that he has not the means
to enjoy his possessions. He does not
even know how to be sociable, and his
awkward attempts to do an unaccus-
toned thing excite the derision of his
new acquaintances. He is fortunate
!, man if he succeeds in gathering about
!, him a few friends before his disappoint-
ments have soured his disposition and
: forced him to again retire within him
self. But, on the other hand, sociabil-
ity may be abused, and the young are
, very liable to be led astray by the enjoy
, ments of society. All people have duties
to perform, and these should not be
neglected or sacrificed to claims of
friendship or for purposes of idle enjoy
; ment. Thus, while sociabiEty should
? be encouraged, the young should not
neglect their studies for the sake of the
society of their friends and companions;
the employe should not neglect his
work to attend parties or make
, visits; the man of business should not
idle away his time for the
sake Of social enjoyments. There is
time enough for sociability in leisure
hours, and in these hours it should be
practiced, not merely as duty, but for
the sake of its happy influence on ones
self and others. 1t is mistake to sup
pose that boisterousness is necessary
mark of sociability. It is quite COM
mon to hear the remark that some noisy,
| ELUSIVE man who insists upon his
, friends drinking and carousing with
him is very sociable and "a good fell
low," but the contrary is very often the
case. His effusiveness may be mere
acting, overdone in the effort to convey
a false impression, and his insistence
that his friends shall do as he wants
them to do betrays selfish disregard
of their wishes that is incompatible with
, true friendship. Liquor drinking is not
needed to promote real sociability. It
, may stimulate to bolder expression Of
F friendly feeling, but it can not create
the feeling itself, which is the one es-
sential thing to all sociability. 1t fol-
lows that to promote sociability one
should cultivate a friendly interest in
others, not depending upon any arti-
fetal stimulus, and in doing so should
not neglect business or other duties for
the sake of social enjovments.-Balti-