The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1890-07-13

JAhY NDEIENOEN
THE LOUNGER.
DR.. Hartmann, of Chicago, is one of the
best known and most popular commercial
in the northwest and it is an ex-
ceedingly chilly day when he is without a
good story. We were seated in the cosy
little cafe of The Helena the other after-
noon when he told of his only fight with a
newspaper. He finally got away with it,
but he had to buy another paper to win.
He said: 81 was running a store in Lake
City, COL, few years ago. In the town
was newspaper editor who never paid
anything. He ran up large bill at my
store which I could not collect. In the
meantime the bill was getting up higher
and finally grew tired of it, so one
day when his wife came in and
ordered fifty or sixty dollars worth
of dry goods requested her to
come back to my Office. told her as po-
litely as could that she could have no
more goods until the old bill was paid.
She of course pouted and protested and
went homo in great rage. The next
morning I picked up her husbands paper
and found leading editorial headed "A
Coward's Insult to q Woman Then fol-
lowed tissue of insulting lies about the
affair of the day before. I got the worst
scorching man ever had, which would
not have minded if the truth had been
told. Well, went to the rival paper, and
by the liberal use of money obtained some
space. printed a column stating the ex-
act circumstance, and closing with state
ment of the EDITORS account which Of
fered for sale at low figure. Then the
fight began. I got the other paper and fol-
lowed my man to finish. One day re-
ceived note from him proposing truce.
was willing to quit and there the row
ended"
The other day among the guests of The
Helena was widow from Salt Lake. She
staid two days and had three meals the
following day. That evening she went to
the Office and inquired of the handsome
clerk for her bill. The gentlemanly official
looked at the register and politely informed
the lady that she had been there two and
three-fourths days and her bill would be
80 and so. As hotel day is divided into
four parts for the three meals and lodging,
this computation was entirely correct. The
lady. however, thought she was being
fooled. She took pencil and paper and
began figuring and then with look of
triumph turned to the smiling clerk. Then
she said: II knew you were wrong, have
been in this house exactly two and seven
sixteenths days." It required all the pow
ers of persuasion on the part of the clerk
to explain to the lady and collect his bill.
~
was chatting with Ex-Marshal George
w. Irwin in the Cosmopolitan lobby the
other day when one of the future mining
kings came along. He sat down and began
in the usual way: II have got the greatest
property in this country. It shows the
richest ore I ever saw and am pretty
good judge. When that mine is fairly I'M
der way it will make the Alice and Anacon-
da and these other mines look sick and I
own the whole thing myself. There is &c.
100000 in sight now and"
"Ah," observed the ex-marshal, II ex-
peot you will be paying off the national
debt before long,
This broke up the conversation,
Nv
Walter King tells me of curious charac-
ter in his employ in the placer ground at
Diamond City. He is an old-timer who
has been in the state for twenty-five years,
He has never yet seen a railroad train, MOI
does he care to. This is the way he talks
about it: "Walter, of course if you say
that people can eat and sleep in one of them
trains of cars will have to believe it, but
don't see how they do it. don't see how
people can walk in the cars when they move
along thirty miles an hour as you say.
Don't they have to hang on. There ought
to be law forbidding them to run cars
faster than ten miles an hour. There is toe
much danger in going about that way any.
how, and I would rather walk" Mr.. Kine
intends to bring Jim into town and oper
his eyes to the wonders of civilization.
~
Major Roman, whose fame as story teller
runs from the rock bound coasts of Main,
to the golden sands of California, tells
good one on former guest of his. Whe1
the Earl of Onslow visited this state he wal
accompanied by valet named 'Awkins
'Awkins was devoted slave, but he Wal
withal a man of sense when there was /,
chance of gun play. When the earl visitet
the Flathead country short excursion wa
orGenized for his benefit. The earl had a
carefully prepared lunch which he left i,
charge of 'Awkins until he returned from
short ride over the hills. While he wa
gone two typical Montana cowboys cam
along, and seeing the sentinel and hi
charge, stopped to investigate.
"What have you got there2" one Of then
inquired.
1T is me lords lunch" answed the faith
full 'Awkins.
swell produce it,
II cawn't ye know, it's me lord's.'
'"To-with your lord, open that baske
or will blow q hole through you.''
When the lunch of salads, boned turkey
roast chicken, etc., were disposed of by til
cow-punchers one of them remarked.
well, John Brown have you anything I
drink p
"Iave some champagne, but It's m