Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1890-02-21
Things a Woman Can Do Best.

Things q w oman Can DO Best.
Oh, yes. undoubtedly there are
things that a woman can do bette
than man.
They may be small matters, but they
exist, and a woman can readily beat
man doing them, and she should have
the credit of it.
In the first place, she can wear
petticOat, and not take it up on her
heels when she walks, and we doubt
if the wisest man living can accom-
pIish this little feat even after o good
many times trying.
She can look sweet as sugar when
she feels cross enough to behead some
body.
She can be such excellent friends
with a rival, and help do up her back
hair, whom she hates her so that she
would be glad if she caught the small
pOZ and got her face carved into the
semblance of a Chinese cabinet.
She can scOld better than any man
living. She can think of more aggra-
waiting things to say in one hour, than
man, no matter how many colleges
he has graduated from, and how many
dictionaries he has digested, can think
of in six months.
She can cry, when she cannot gain
her point any other way, and it is
pretty tough work for the average man
to cry, and not make mess of it.
She can spank baby better than q
man. She feels that it is her right to
do it, and man always goes about as
if he was ashamed of it, and as if he
didn't exactly know where to begin, or
where to leave off.
She non drive 1,o~,,C -7rA 80 H. ~-.-,cl -,
IN half the time it will take man to
do it. Tt is no use to swear at hens
They do not understand profanity, but
the swish of skirt, and the flourish of
sun-bOnnet, are arguments they can
not Withstand.
A woman can find something to talk
about when a man would be dead broke
for a topic.
She can manage to keep you waiting
while she gets ready to go somewhere
longer than five men could, unless they
were youths in the clutches of a first
love, and had to struggle with refract-
! CRY neck-ties,
A woman can get more bundles to-
/ gether in half a days shopping than a
man can carry, and she can buy goods
! ten per cent. cheaper than he can, be-
/ cause, in the first place, she always
! asks everybody what they paid for
! everything, and is thoroughly posted
! on prices; and, in the second place, she
| has the infinite patience to stand and
/ talk to the clerks, and wheedle. and
| coax, and bargain, until, in the sheer
/ desperation of utter souI-weariness,
/ they take off two cents a yard, and
/ think themselves lucky to escape so
well.
A woman can be patient when the
! fire doesn't burn. She can look serene
! when the coffee won't settle. She can
refrain from mentioning the Evil One
when the bread is heavy. She can
J control herself and not 90 into spasms,
/ if her collar is not irOned to suit her.
She doesn't go to Europe, or take tC
drink, when Tom "goes back" on her.
| She does q more sensible thing. She
accepts Dick, and shows Tom that she
didn't care a fig for him.
Women are the best part of crea-
/ ton. We all know that The Other
/ sex may ridicule them all they please
| but they wouldn't have women abolish.
/ BODY to sew on buttons Nobody tC
| find fault with. Nobody to raise mus
. taches for. Nobody to feel an interest
In your cold, and to put catnip pOuI
tees on you when you had the tooth
ache. Nobody to buy ice-creams for
Nobody to love. Nobody to hug No
body to kiss, for it is a spectacle tc
make angels weep to see one man kiss
another.
And so, in spite Of the fact that wo
men are the weaker sex, let US hav,
women right along, because there ar
things they can do better than men
Kate Thorn, IN Ne5U York Weekly.