River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1890-09-04
PITn AND POINT.

in Russia man may appear as
witness in lawsuit against his wife-if
he has the nerve to do it.-Ram's Horn.
"A man never becomes so wise that
he can tell which is worst in this world.
love without money or money without
love.-Atchison Globe.
To the ordinary mortal, wilted
collar tells truer tale of the state of
the weather than the Signal Service
thermometer does.-Puck.
-Sportsman-'Whyd do you suppose
the stork is all neck, legs and wings?''
Naturalist-"P Probably that he may be
utilized for boarding-h house chicken fric-
asse. "-Harper's Bazaar.
Want some of my hair restorer
sir?" asked the barber; 'sbest in the
world" 20, I've something better
I've Just got divorce from my wife. -
Philadelphia Times.
First Actor-''When you received
your salary what did you buy frst?'
Second Actor-''A pair of thick-soled
shoes We shall probably disband in
week or two. Yankee Blade.
Lady of the House Ito her Servantl
You tell me that you are going to
quit my service, and you know that |
have done almost all your work?' Serv-
ant-''Yes; but you don't do it to suit
meI"-Judy.
-Wickwire-''Now you have gradu-
ated, I suppose you feel ready to earn
your own living?" Young Potts" Earn
my living? If l can't get living with
outearning it l might just IS well have
staid out of college. "-Terre Haute Ex-
press.
Mrs. Younghusband quitting the
fashionable stringless cap on her head
WHY. really, don't see what will
keep this bonnet on Mr.. Younghus-
band shopping with her, glrneing at
the ticket)-''The price, / think, dar-
ling. "-Harper's Bazaar.
Traveller tat the ticket oficel-"I
want a half-ticket, too, for my boy"
Agent (sus piciousiy)-''Do you mean to
say that boy isn't over twelve?" No
on " eleven 'Oh. well, all above ten
have to pay full rates. ''-Golden Days
-"Ahl love, should like to listen
to you all night" said Clarence, as he
rose to go. Six months after they were
married he CHANGED to stop out fifteen
minutes after his hour, and he had his
desire graft lied.
Husband (angrily)-"Thisb eefis all
burned up Why in thunder did you
cook it so much?" Wife-"Well,
can not think of every thing. ! was
busy writing an article for the Ladies.
Cooking journal, and forgot the meat
was in the oven. - Boston Herald.
You needn't talk about keeping
ones word said a husband to his wife
during slight misunderstanding;
when first asked you TO marry me
you declared you would't marry the best
man in the world" We'll, | didn't.r
snapped the wife.
Mr.. Wigs (admiringly)
Hanson looks as pretty as a picture
this afternoon" Mrs. Wiggs-.That
costume is very becoming. She has a
husband who likes TO see a woman de-
Gently dressed. and isn't to mean to
nay for tn. Y. Weekly.
IT'S true that smokeless powder may
Much benefit beget;
But what is needed most TO day
Is the smokeless cigarette.
Washington Post
-Billikin-'What's the matter. Wilt
kin?" Willikin-"Matter enough. You
know, some time ago | assigned all my
property to my wife, Toto keep it out
of the hands of-of people owe, you
know" Yes" ''Well, she's taken the
money and gone off-says she won't live
with me because | swindled my credit
Ors N. y. Weekly.
She ordered fowl for grand din
ner and made the cook bring his pur-
chase for her inspection. She exam
ined it, tossed her head discontentedly.
and said: 1T is poor-looking thing"
''Oh, num-" said the cook, when 1t
is fixed up with truffies it will look en-
tirely different. just like when you
put on your diamonds. mum" Fran-
cisco Wasp.