Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1890-10-30

| make way there for Brennan's BandP'
See, they halt. hear some cheering;
Now the gallant band is beering.
| There they start with Yankee DOODLE
| Royal notes for Billy's Doodle.
| But, great heavens! Are they looney?
| They'll kill him with "Aunie Rooney"
Now Hail Columbia. Happy Land;'
| For everything goes with Brennan's Band.
| There! The steeds start on a run,
| Lashed by Johnnie, Get Your Gun;'
| Hist! The notes are a trif1e awry,
| Too much cool beer for Annie Laurie"
But they blow, the people scorning.
Now I'VE Won't Go Home Till Morning."
They have good wind as well as sand,
Nothing can tire Brennan's Band.
See! The halt. the blind the poor
Greet BOLD Brennan ON the Moor"
All. there's tune the gamins hail,
It's who dare tread on my coat tail?'
But the cool night breeze now makes them
shiver;
They'll surely die on "Suanee River"
But I'll have you to understand
Nothing's too rich for Brennan's Band.
The savage ear is soothed by notes,
But Billy's band is out for votes.
Some folk treat his scheme with scorn;
But Billy'n get therein a hornl
HUNGER makes men weak, but thirst makes
them bold.
BEFORE Emma Abbott made money trying
to sing Clara Louise Kellogg, the stage gossips
say, lent her red petticoat on a cold night.
Emma appreciated the loan. but when Clara
talked about it she got mad. This is why they
don't speak as they pass by.
WHEN a married moonshiner dies his widow
can keep secret still.
In Kentucky pistols terminate hot political
debates. A funeral is cheaper than an election.
anyway.
FIGURES do not lie, but liars sometimes
igure.-From the Dallas (Tex.) Neios says
the Philadelphia Record. The Record has
been imposed on. This belongs to The
PITTsBURG DISPATCH. Scissors never lie,
but the sciSsorers do.
SONG of the oil driller-will you meet me in
the Wildwood, Essie dear.
AN elephant only carries its affections IN its
trunk.
THE violinist bows before his elbow works
the bow.
THERE'S many squeeze between the waltz
and the midnighI dinner.
LAWN dresses are hard to laundry.
A SAILORS KNoT-6.Os67 feet, of course.
1 STOOD beside her with my hand just resting
on her arm
~ Iono
And then she turned her rogueish face and muir
INJURED in alarm:
"Please, sir, don't let your fingers go to
waistr'
THE W. c. T. U. is troubled with independ-
ence, too. This is great year for kickers in
skirts, anyway.
THIS is Republic, but we've got a Noble in
the Cabinet. Just the same.
A ToLsToI colony has been formed in Russia.
II some piano tiend ever plays the 'Kreutzer
Sonata" there look out for trouble.
IT costs 81 cents to swear aloud in Philadel-
phia The extent of the curse depends on the
length OF the purse.
THE Pension Bureau has discovered too
many widows on the rolls. Weed them ont.
The Board of Viewers are great site.seers.
THE press can't be muzzled, but ir can be
regulated. Newspaper liars and Character
breakers are subject 10 the same rules and laws
as all the rest in that line of business.
THE parrot said to the old gray owl:
s.What use in the world are youp'
The sleepy bird looked up with a scowl.
And simply repli2d: "To-woo."
AND now there's = scheme afoot tn hava
society represented by "lueens' at the Worlds
Fair. The designer is :, L. Dana. He wants
TO be the Ward McAliIster of the bie show,
Snobbery and class distinction should he oiven
the grand bounce by the managers. Stick to
democratic principles, gentlemen.
THE theater hat should not be oyerlooksd
during the campaign, or any other time,
SOME have always contended that the tar;f
is a sectional issue. 1t really is now. A sectior
was omitted, you know, hence the row.
STANLEY is being we'll advertised. bnt ,ho
agent of his American lecture tour will b.rdIv
ask the newspapers to republish tho rscen,
notices from the London journals.
IF Webster should return to earth he uon,d
hardly recognize his dictionary.
A BALTIMORE young man sashed bimse,f |