davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-04-04
PITH AND POINT.

A grave subject-A corpse.
The king of beasts never reigns but
he roars.
The consumer may consider himself
lucky if he gets milk of the first water.
Troy Press
''Why do you suppose the tramps 90
South in winter, Willielr 80 get
away from the snowballs. "-Aelo TorE
Sun.
The boarding-house keeper who gives
her boarders oleomargarine instead of
butter provides them with the fat of the
land
As soon as a man gets the fire built
and the room warm his wife comes along
and wants to ''air the house. n-4tciisoa
GLOBE.
Fifteen apples, fourteen pies
Sixteen dOuglnuts, one whole cake
Johnnie ate, yet Johnnie cries:
Whence doth come this stomach ache?
-Nei0 Yori, sun.
Bobby-''My father is a politician and
has lots of influence Jimmy-',That's
nothing. Ny father isn't a politician
and he has lots of influenza. ~ itts5urg
Chronicle.
Willie Cumso-'Papa, why do they
call the lecturer 1.-THE silver-tongued
orator" Cumso-'' Because he gets $3.50
for working it an hour and a half. -
Aansey's Weekly.
Here is q Iink to sbaighten out
A contradiction vast;
How is it that in making shoes
The first thing is the "last2'
-Lippincott.
She-''You are such solitary man,
Mr. Sibly, 1 should think You would get
lonesome" He-"Oh, no; I enjoy
being by myself. She (thoughtfully)-
81 don't see how you can. Huntington
Free Press.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-04-04

A novel idea has been suggested as a
solution of q difficulty which has beset
Congress for some time, in the matter of
securing reading clerks with penetrating
voices that can be heard above the buzz
and bubble of an exciting session. 1t is
to employ lady readers. It IS stated in
advocacy of this plan that the quality of
their voices to meet this need is shown
in the practical experience of persons
using telephones, in which their voices,
pitched in a high key, can be heard dis
tinctly, while the great gru1 voice of a
man rumbles into the ear of the listener
after mas q 7cSqfusion of sound.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-04-04

The first grain elevator in ST. Peters
burg has been officially opened and
blessed By the clergy. So much has
been written about the necessity Of grain
elevators in Russia that tbs beginning is
considered an important event-in fact,
50 important that the Minister of Com.
munications and numbers of Senators
and high officials were present at the
ceremony, and no fewer than three extra
and special trains were run from town to
the new port, where the elevator is
situated, for the convenience Of the 300
Of 500 persons invited. This elevator IS
on a large scale, capable Of dealing with
so. 300, 900 pools Of corn during the
aavieahle season Of the Neva- It viii
be a grea. boon to the grain slippers, as
hitherto there has only been snail float
ing elevator at cronstadt, belonging y
the English Shipownez, Messrs. Wilson.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-04-04

Hell got letter from Cousin Tom
to-day. He says he is engaged to Mollie
Jennings. OF course he paints his flu
tue bride in glowing colors and all that
sort of thing"
she-''so far as that Is concerned,
MoIlie is pretty expert at painting her
self in glowing colors. "-Terre Haute En-
press.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-04-04

It viii be news perhaps to many that
the consumption of pig iron in this
country is greater than in Great Britain,
but it was in 1886 and 1887, and was
again last year. Now for the first time
the production in this country is greater
than it ever was in Great Britain for any
year, and probably greater week by week
than it is there now.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-04-04
HIS PRESENCE WAS INSPIRING.

Manufacturer Ito his Office boy, who
persistentIy sets the clock backward in
the morning and forward during the
lunch hour)-'I can't understand why
the clock is always behind when ar
rive at the Office and ahead when 1 leave
il"
Office Boy Gnnocently)-'I reckon it
thinks it ought to hustle while you're
here, sir."-Jepelers' Weekly.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-04-04

The total ecliyat the sun recently
was observed by the United States sci
entifc expedition at St. Paul de Loanda,
west coast of Africa. Seventy pictures
were taken before and forty after totality.
The sky was clear during the first part
of the eclipse, but afterward obscured.
The observations were considered to be
fairly successful.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-04-04

Teacher-"An things which can be
seen through are called transparent.
Fanny, mention something which is
transparent. "
Fanny-''A pane of glass"
Teacher - "Quite correct. Now,
Fanny, mention some other object
through which you can see."
Fanny-''A keyhole. - Texas Sytiags.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-04-04
SHE LOVED To GRoAN.

Aunt Mary-"What a cold hearted
world this Isl 1 was so sick all night
and not a soul in the house came to see
what was the matter with me-"
EIla-''That's not it at all, auntie
we all heard your groaning, and we
hadn't the heart to interrupt you. We
know how you do enjoy good groan-
ing, you know. Boston Transcript.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-04-04

| "Why, par" exclaimed Arabella in
Surprise. what makes you Think soin
81 don't think so, ATabella, " returned
her fond papa. II know so. Charles
told me to-day that he bought new UNI
brella last week. What reckless extrava-
gance that was. Why, don't remem-
Der that ever bought an umbrella in all
my life. "-Somerri1e Journal.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-04-04

Mr.. Hardup-"Why don't you pay
more attention to the cooking. You
know you can do first-rate cooking when
you try"
Mrs. Hardup-'I know I can, but
whenever I get up any particular nice
dish you eat it all yourself. "-Terre
Ha,ae Express.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-04-04
oF PARAMOUNT NECESSITY.

Mr.. Uncertain-''You keep a private
yacht, don't you, Dubious2"
Mr. Dubious-"Oh, yes"
Mr.. Uncertain-"Well, next to money,
what is the most important adjunct nee
essary to the maintenance of a craft Of
that kind'n
Mr.. Dubious-"Credit. Epoch.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-04-04
CHARITY BEGINS NOT At HOME

"And what's all this I hear, Barbara,
about your wanting to find some occu-
pation2"
''Well, you see, it's so dull at home,
uncle. I've no brothers or sisters-and
paps's paralyzed-and mammals going
blind-so want to be hospital nurse. "
-LOndon Punch.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-04-04

Dick-'I intend to marry you
whether or no. know you love me. I
shall not go until I get your consent"
Miss Flirtte-''You have it.
Dick-"Ah, knew should tri-
umph."
Miss Flirtte-"Of course meant my
consent to co. Chicago journal.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-04-04

The records of deaths in the city Of
New York show that there were killed
by street cars during the year 1888, Ga
persons; by omnibuses and wagons, 55,
and by illuminating gas, 3D. making the
number killed by the electric current o.
insignificant compared with the deaths
of individuals from any of the other
causes named.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-04-04
DWELLINGS FOR woRK1yewoArEy.

Among new ideas for the good of
womankind is the English one of ''la-
dies chambers" or dwellings for work
ingwomen. The first building was
opened a few weeks ago in London. It
is five stories high, divided into flats of
two, three and four rooms, each provided
with a cooking stove. The rent ranges
from 50 to So week. Attendance can
be had, and there are, of course, kitchen
and dining hall for those who prefer to
have no cooking done in their ewn
rooms. The rooms are exceedingly pref
ty and convenient, fitted with cupboards,
larders, and so forth. Each occupant
will furnish her own apartment, and
where two friends live together It will be
very easy to get together pretty and com
Portable household appointments. There
is a prospect that this English idea will
be initiated in New York by ladies con-
nected with the Woman's Exchange.
At the last annual meeting, recently held
at Mrs. Henry Wizards home, the most
interesting event was the report of Mrs.
Candace Wheeler embodying the propo-
sition that the Woman's Hotel project,
which many wealthy men and women
have been pushing for two years, be-
combined with the present Exchange,
and that a large building be erected for.
their joint occupancy. The idea would
be to use the lower floor for the Ex-
change and the upper ones for apart
ments for women. Since the exchange
was started it has paid out a million dol
lars to needy women for their handiI
work, besides training hundreds of
women to be self-supporting, who before
knew nothing about using their hands
and brains in profitable industry. 1t is
proposed to make a grand exhibit of
women's work at the Worlds Fair that
will illustrate the progress made BY
women in art and industry from the ear
lest time up to 1S92.ANelo York Star.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-04-04

little MAID WITH BkOkEN ARM.
A small girl fell and broke her arm two
or three weeks ago. The fracture was
reduced and all went well, the little mite
proving herself heroine under the pain
And what pain broken arm can givel
But the tiresome part of the business,
the growing together of the fractured
parts, has tried her patience sorely. The
other day the family doctor explained to
the little patient that the pain she SUI
fered came from the knitting of the bone.
KNITTING is it," the child echoed;
''well l wish is would stop, for can feel
the needles sticking into me. Pitts5lrg
DiSpatch.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-04-04

Guest-''I want something to eat.
The waiter calls off number of dishes,
at the same time moving about his feet
uneasily.
Guest observing this asks)-"Have
you any cornsl"
Waiter-''Don't know. I'll ask the
cook. "-Teras Siftings.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-04-04
.n 1rNaRArErrI co,lpAR1soN.

Lord Duffelly ION his first visit to
New k)-"Who is that distinguished
looking man we just passed. Why, he
has the bearing of Dukel"
Mr.. Fourhundred-" 'Sh! Don't let
him hear you! That's a captain Of
policei' -Puck
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-04-04
Henry Caby, whose real name is Kisb,

Henry Caby, whose real name is Kish-
ka-ko, lives up in Arenac County, Mich,
is grandson of an Indian chief of
the same name, and he sets up a claim
that in 1919 his royal ancestor was, by
treaty with the Government, given sec
tons twenty-eight and twenty-nine, on
which most Of the valuable part of Bay
City stands, and now his lawyers propose
to get the land for him or get the money
value thereof. It is alleged that the
treaty records show no further DISPOSE
ton of the land has ever been authorized
since the treaty Of 1919.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-04-04

The modern child is an analyst. The
small boy was playing with the scissors,
and his kindly old grandmother chided
him:
"You mustn't play with the scissors,
dear. knew little boy just like you
who was playing with pair of scissors
just like that pair, and he put them in his
eye, and he put his eye out, and he
never could see anything ever after"
The child listened intently and said,
when she got through;
What was the matter with his other
eye2n-San Francisco Chroniele.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-04-04
AFTER MANY YEARS.

Old Professor-''Why, Mr. Barkins,
glad TO see you, I'm sure. How time
does fly Why, it seems to be only a
few years ago that gave you a sound
thrashing"
Barkins-'I remember it. I've al
ways wanted to get even with you for
that Have a cigar, won't youi'-Aaa-
sey's Weekly.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-04-04
SAW EVIDENCES.

He was a cruel brother.
He happened in to the room 10 find his
sister in tears but did not inquire IS to
the reason nor offer a single word of con-
dolence.
"Where is my overcoat2" was all he
said.
~ think you are as hardhearted as you
can be" she said, "not to realize that
anv one can have trouble"
~ realized it" he said. Gas soon as
1 came into the room saw evidences of
a cry, sis. Merchant TrdUeler.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-04-04

"susie," said Willie to his sister,
s'what are Blackfeet Indians9"
aWhat are whatl' yn1oyeu-ssy-
"Blackfeet Indians" md co,.-i1
az don't know, I'm sureI
s'what the expression CAN'T. said ;55a 5ii,e'ss
those wicked traders have gn. e,,"' selling
the poor Indians some of the hoisery that
is warranted not to fade. "-Aereaant
TraUeLer.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-04-04

links (solicitously)-''Blinks, stop a
moment. That's fearful cold you have.
Are you taking anything forita"
Blinks (Hurrying on)-''Not in the
shape of advice, Kiljordan."
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-04-04
Considered ExrRArAeANr.

eyes" said the old man with a sigh,
HCharles seems to be very devoted to
YOU, Arabella, and he says he wants to
marry you, but I'm afraid he'll never get
on very well in this world.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-04-04
VERY FRIGID.

srBeen having troublel" asked one
travelling man OF another.
"Some"
"Girl gone back on youl"
seNo, but her father has"
''Dismissed you in summary manner.
Eh7'
mo. In a wintry manner. "-Aer-
chant 7Fareler.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-04-04

The phenomenal growth of the West
era cities of our country cannot Re better
illustrated than by statement which
appeared recently in the Chicago papers.
They say that lady of sizty-eight years
recently died in that city whose mother
was attacked ind tom to pieces by
pack Of wolves, near the spot which is
opow the corner of Twenty-sizth and
s gsz see ssissttrsets, in that city. 1t was fifty
MARLIN kat this unfortunate lady, who
slfETY Ss then the outskirts of
MODEL. sesaras. homewaEdL -llaattse-o6e
1895. waPPing expedition
70. iaiorasss overtaken by a
ASK yIsn at this spot to
% show should lave been
Eepesse she was attacked by
sTi'eIe dreadful results above
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-04-04
BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SKETCHES FROM
VARIOUS SOURCES.
A Parents Advice-Had All He Want
ed-He Was Not Sure-Had Got
Her Consent-A Natural
Conclusion, Etc.

Now, John, my son, before you go
Take this advice to heart:
Don't try TO show off what you know
So folks may think you're smart.
Although the world is like school,
Where those who study rise,
Remember that the silent fool
Is oft considered wise.
Boston Courier.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-04-04
ONE SUBSCRIBER.
BY Wary KYLE DALLAS.

Phoebe Mumford came down to break.
fast one morning in very low spirits.
Their, seemed no doubt that the mort
gage would be foreclosed at last. Her
fathers mind failed more and more.
Everything was forlorn and wretched.
She had been gazing at a rose-colored
picture of the past to which distance lent
enchantment. She saw her buxom,
comfortable, loving mother; her young
aunts, who petted her; kind though
grave father; lover-Billy Barton-who
adored her, and went away to sea and
had not been heard of since. There was
little misunderstanding that she was
too proud to explain. Now how gray
and dull was life The dear mother
gone, and though doubtless she watched
over her daughter, human eyes cannot
see these loving angels. The aunts
married; one in California, one in Colo
RADIO, one in Canada, with families of
their own. The father changed, since
the terrible illness that followed his
wife's sudden death, to a trembling,
querulous shadow, who requited all her
love and tenderness by finding fault with
her for having beef born a girl
A son never would have made the
feeble old man So comfortable, waited on
him so patiently, spared Kim so much.
The "bound GIRL" little Hannah Jane,
from the poor-house, was bright and
tractable, but there was still much to do;
all woman's work, though; nothing that
could keep the heavy mortgage from
foreclosing, or the man who farmed what
land there was left ''on sharesn from
cheating them numerically; nothing
that brought money in
Phoebe felt that, and it panied her
more than the thought that her thirtieth
birthday was close at hand, though no
woman ever lived who did not shrink
from that thought with SILVER of
horror.
Wiping the tears away, Miss Phoebe
left the table and took up the newspaper
"a big New York paper full of politics,
which she read TO her father every day,
and which was almost his only pleasure
She glanced down the column of deaths
and marriages, and saw there no name
that she knew. She read an account Of
the appearance of the sea serpent at the
shore near a certain hotel, and of
frightful murder that made her blood run
cold. She read the wise words of the
weather prophet, who predicted rising
barometer, and glanced over the adver-
tisements. "Spinkinss electric collar
button, warranted to cure everything"
offered testimonials from Kings and war
riors, and tempted her to go down and
buy one for pa-or would, had she had
the money to throw away on a cruel i'm
posture.
noBBs & CO., ON RECEIPT OF TEN
IL cents and a stamped and directed en-
velope viii send to Eny lady or gentleman
directions how TO make fortune at their
own homes
She was not much impressed by this
magnifcens offer. But here WAS some
thing:
WANTED IN OUR OFFICE, A LADY
w Of education and refinement, geod
talker, who has read q great deal. Salary
fifty dollars per week Apply atonce in per
son. Church member preferred.
COZZEN q CO.,
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-04-04

''Dear me-" cried Phoebe to herself,
''ffty dollars week. think I am re-
fined. certainly have had good edu-
cation. read everything can get to
read. I am a church member If I
could get the place could go to bust
ness regularly, like man. Give pa most
of the fifty dollars week, savethe place,
perhaps, and certainly buy the electric
COLLABORATION.
Visions of her father restored to health
and vigorous old age; of the mortgage
PAID of; Of herself kneeling at her
f-ther's feet while his hands rested on
her head and sad: ''My daughter, no
longer regret that God never gave me a
son, since He sent me you," rushed
through her mind. She slipped from the
big hcrse-hair covered armchair, and,
kneeling BEIGE 1t, hid her face in its
great iimpled back, and with her hand
ker- hief TO her eyes, prayed to be helped.
And when she arose it seemed TO her that
a strong, W seen hand led her; that there
could be nothing to fear or dread; moth
Jag before her but success.
She gave her father his breakfast with
many smiles, and fairly laughed when he
said: 'Now,f you were boy you could
Just 60 along with me to the polls and
vote for Pufingham. I want that man
TO be elected; he's got the right views
about property. But you're girl, poor
thing-a girl"
Little he knew what was in her mind.
She read the political articles through
and had Just time to catch the train, CIV
ing Hannah Jane directions for the din
ner
'If I get the place old Mrs. Williams
must come and live here" she said to
herself, as she walked. 'Pd feel per-
fectly safe then; and she'd be glad to
have the spare room and her board "
A fresh color was on her cheek, and a
bright sparkle IN her eye as she stepped
into the car. She wore her very best
things-precious and well saved-but
she must look her best. And she did
sS55F- iho5f6;e Is as great beautiier as fresh
bonnet strings, and when reaching No.
- street she climbed the long and
rather dirty stains until she reached the
office of Cozzen & Co., with a hopeful
heart.
The door of the room stood open. The
opoosite roofs were visible through the
unshaded windows. Some girls stood at
a table folding pamphlets; Others sat "a
another directing envelopes. Behind
'oarricade of walnut-desk and iron railing
sat a portly gentleman, bland, and wear
ing good deal of white hair, from which
a pair Of round, black eyes, and very
round nose, blackened at the nostril'
with snuff, peered out and gave him the
appearance Of one of those poodles which
bellies of years ago we're fond of carrying
about with them.
Another lady, with downcast eyes, was
gliding from the room; and another
woman, with rather a coarse mHnneri
tossed her head in indignation as she
pushed past the first.
"Poor things they have applied fol
the place and have not got 1t, sale
Phoebe; but she could not feel sorry.
The portly gentleman arose behind hi
ratings as she looked toward hirl and
bowed.
'sWalk n, he said.
Phoebe also bowed politely.
seYour advertisement"-she fsltered
eyes, yes" said the gentleman, q
understand. We have had throrgs O.
ladies' here. H'nl Sit dowH,"
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-04-04
EEArER cR1Er.

still to know
= newer sunrise burn,
sFt viii ne'er return,
18th roses all ALLOW,
e its dew in noontide's glow.
ir,e ne'er stay, but ever grow
l,past, and ever show
A, Ugh chaplets fresh to souls that YEAR,
rs The greater grief?
the song in moonrise glowi
ling till the moon hangs low;
+ lint signs by which we learn
+ + to day begins to turn,
-nese were sweet, did we ne'er know
The greater griefl
IA. 7. SuddHti,, in Ha'pers Weekly.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-04-04

In 1912 wslat Is now known as Gin
Ihuenza" was known then as "Tyleks
grip" Tyler was President of the
United States, and just after he vetoed
the ''United States Bank billn this
epidemic swept over the country and
was called "Tyler's grip
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1890-04-04

Z
ssLet me see your book, madam" he
said. Every nice; I'll subscribe. Give
me your book. I'll write my name and
residence"
He did so. Phoebe thanked him, and
tried toread it, but the letters danced
I before her eyes. Her head was so hot,
so heavy, she must go back to NJ. Coz
zen's, get her dollar, give in her sub.
scription, tell him that she had failed.
She would feel better after she had
rested, she thought-better. How kind
that man had been. But he subscribed
for her book-she knew it well-out Of
sheer pity; as one gives aims to beg
gar.
She was in Mr.. Cozzen's office again,
He looked at her out of his bush of white
hair. His black eyes and black nose
more poodle like than before.
She had wasted her day, risked sun
stroke, failed in her effort, and crushed
her homes. What did he care, if he had
one subscription morel A book agent
was almost sure to get one, and hundreds
toiled over the earth every day with tbs
same results.
every foolish to give it up SO, he de
clared. "The first day never counts.
have ladies on my list making hundred
dollars week who got no subscribers OIL
the first day, and Oh, your dollar
Yes, yes And here is your percentage
ten cents But you ought not to de
spair when you have secured the name o.
Captain Barton on your hist. Well, good
day"
She was gone, threading the streets
that led to the ferry. The boat first
then the train. Was that the traiI
coming2 What a roarl How black i
was She staggered, but she did not fal
to the ground. Some one caught her il
bis arms.