The Opelousas courier., 1890-02-08
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Does the crow ever NOPE over any lost
caws?
Whaling grounds-Country school
house.
A Maine barber has fallen chair" to a
handsome fortune.
A skilful cook is the most popular of
interior decorators.
Talking about wheelmen, when they
toll not neither do they spin.
Many an honest debtor wishes he had
a round sum to square up with.
The ocean greyhounds have no time
to consider barks at sea.-Picoyune.
The most self-conceited are those who
continually depreciate natural vanity.
tt was q butcher who remarked that
four quarters were less than the whole
Life.
The pen is mightier than the sword;
but the pencil isn't much good without
the knife.
"sExcuse me-" said a tramp, as he was
led to the wood shed, ''but l am not
experienced in running a chop house"
Dentist Ito patien)-"Will you take
gas to have the tooth out?" Patient
allow much is it a thousand?"-Judge.
Ouack-"If you use my medicine you
will use no other. Patient-"That's
what I'm afraid of, doctor. Yankee
Blade.
The pug dog fills many a man with
the disappointing thought that he might
be handsome if he were only ugly
enough.
Woman is a lovely creature, and she
knows it, too, but she is always willing
to be told it once understandable
Journal.
Mr.. Gustus Phew-"Will you remem-
Der me when l am far away?" Miss
Sally Day-sHow far away are you
going2"-Puc6.
Thompson (proudly-''Robinson you
see that gun? My wife killed a bear with
that once" Robinson-"Ah, indeed!
What was she shooting at."-Aunsey's
Weekly.
Mildred (who hears that her aunt is
going to take a fencing lesson)-"Oh,
auntie, do take me with you. I'd love
to see you jump over the fences!"-Har-
per's Basar.
Tommy-''Mamma, give me some
pears" Mother-"Why, Tommy, you
have eaten five orsix already" "Well,
them amt the ones I want. It's them in
the basket I'm after."-Ieras Sytings.
Jonnny-"What did the minister mean
when he said something about a place
where thieves do not break through and
steal2" Mr.. Dumpsey-"He referred to
your mothers dress pocket. "-LcWrence
american.
"My good man." said the lady to the
gardener, (which is your choice for the
national fower2" 'Ihaven't given it
much thought, num- he replied; "but
I'd vote for the chrysanthy, ma~"-
Norristown Herald.
snowberry-'tSpeaking of the old
fashioned custom of writing sfnis' at the
end of a book makes me think of nay
wife" Donney-"How so?" Snow
berry-"Oh, she always gets in the last
word."-Kearney Enterprise.
"Here'sa dog I must getty exclaimed
the owner of dime museum, as he read
in the paper about an animal in Wiscon-
sin who swallows coins whenever he has
an opportunity. "What do you want
him fora" asked a friend. because
there's money in ii. "-Munsey's Weekly.
Applicant-"If you have a position in
your bank vacant, sir, I would like to
apply for it." Bank President-"There
is no vacancy, now, I believe, except
that of runner" Applicant-"I am
qualified to fill that, sir. did the best
long distance work in Yell College, sir,
last year."--Yenowine's News.
81 don't think Jones has been indulg-
ing too much," said his kindly believing
spouse; shut, still, I thought it rather
odd of him that he should wrench the
knocker off the front door and bring it
up to me as I sat in bed, saying that he'd
gathered another rose for me out of the
garden, poor, dear, simple boy; he's just
a. loving and sentimental as ever he
was."-London Punch.