Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1890-04-05
RIDING THE GOAT.
Tho k'srilous Position OF = venfuresouas
Woman.

@When I wanted to join the Odd Fell
lows, Polly Ann was mighty mad and
for once l didn't blame her, because the
moral effect upon her was percetible.
This is how it was: It was on Friday
night and / was going to join the lodge.
Polly Ann had opposed it all along, but
/ felt that she wouldn't follow me there.
About shutdown Deacon Mount came
along. I was standing in the door
yard, for it was warm Indian summer
weather.
"'Goin' to ride the goat to-nightT
said he.
al think I will, says I.
"'He's tough one,' says he.
az amt afraid, says I.
@'Keep calm says he.
az can do it, says I.
"'I'll be there SAYS he.
"'All right says I, and with a few
more words passed on up the street and
1 was waiting with my Sunday suit on
for the time to arrive when should go
up to the lodge-room. While I was
standing there leaning up against the
fence and admiring the sunset, Polly
Ann, with stern look on her face,
went out the gate. 1 thought, maybe,
she was going up to the store for some
thing. 1 didn't care much where she
went, for she had been dinging at me
all day about goats, secrets and evil
doors who worked in the dark.
"Of course 1 knew what she meant;
but says to myself q wouldn't have
dared to say it to herr, Polly Ann l
have got the best of you for once. Wo-
men are not allowed in SODIUM Lodge
1 stood there for half an hour laughing
to myself and then I went up to the
hall where they hold the meetings.
went into the anti-room and set down.
Deacon Mount and Mace Allen came up
to me and told me too keep cool and
hang on if the goat kicked.
Overhead and near the side OF the
anti-room was sort of a scuttle-hole
and a1adder stood on the floor that
lead up to it. This hole led into the
attic over the lodge-room. Well, while
sitting there waiting for the perform
ance to commence, thought 1 heard q
noise overhead. 1t startled me, and
somehow my mind went straight to
Polly Ann. L thought of what she had
told me. Says she: If there's goat
there, mark my words, Seth Tompkins,
I'll see it; you can't fool me. Ipropose
to keep watch over my husband; but
you amt my husband-you are a fool.
No respectable man would go again the
will of his wife. You just mark my
words, I'll know what you dol I'll
know if there is goat; I'll see if there
isp
II would have bet dollar that Polly
Ann was up there and 1 shook for q
minute as though l had the Michigan
ague. But p'shawp says 1 to myself,
Polly Ann can't be up there. More
likely it's rats
II felt some what relieved, but still
was uneasy. By-and-bye Deacon Mount
came up again and he noticed that /
looked pale and shook and he cautioned
me to keep cool and 1 tried to; but
shake as would and did I couldn't
shake off the impression that Polly Ann
was in that attic.
THE members of the order had all
come, guess, and had gone into the
lodge-room and were standing around a
kind of center table in the middle OF
the room, talking and laughing, wait
| ing, suppose, for the head man to call
them to order. The door was open and
I could see them as plain as could be.
I imagined that Polly Ann was crawl
ing along the joist and laths to the lit
| tie vent hole in the ceiling over the
place where the men were talking. One
of the men SAYS, He'll think, (meaning
me, Isuppose) we've got a goat in here
for sure. if we have good luck Well,
I looked up to that vent hole expecting
to find Polly Ann peering down to see
where the goat was and 1 did see her,
for just at that moment there was ter
rible crash and the plaster and lath fell
all over the men. They jumped out Of
the way and looked up to see what was
the matter, and there hung Polly Ann
BY the arms where she had been caught
by the lath.
"Well, If Polly Ann didn't see the goat
the members of SODIUM Lodge did. She
howled and yelled murder and every
thing else. If there ever was a morti-
fed man I was one. The brethren
| laughed ana shouted unGll Iney were
hoarse. Polly Ann still hung there be-
tween the ceiling and the carpet yelling
all the time. Finally Deacon Mount
and Mace Allen went up and pulled her
out. They got her down the ladder and
took her inside the lodge-room.
II felt as though cremation would be
cold compared to what 1 would get
when got home. No fair-minded man
will blame me for being weakened
then. There was no use of trying.
couldn't get the best of Polly Ann. and
/ wilted right then and there. When
came to she was standing over me.
"'Seth Tomkins, says she.
eyes, ma'am,' says l.
.='Come with mel says she.
ayes, ma'am, says !.
@eYou brutesp said she, turning to
the members of the lodge, who were
standing near, I'll punish you for this,
pointing to me. I'll let you know that
YOU must respect a woman when she is
in distress, aud not laugh at her. You
are no gentlemen. March, and l went
down stairs with Polly Ann. When
Joined the Odd Fellows, many years
z - l.