Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1890-10-01
Hope Dare
APTLY ILLUSTRATES THE WHOLESOME SIG
NIFICANCE OF NAMES, AT LEAST IN THE
KITCHEN DEPARTMENT.

|
NIFIcANcE OF NAMES, AT LEAST IN TIL
| KITCHEN DEPARTMENT.
| 1t would seem that there is something il
name after all, notwithstanding the ole
| adage-"a rose by any other name will
smell as sweet" The fact has had fit il
lustration recently in the case OF oul
neighbors, the Simpkirs, who have changed
the royal scepter of their kitchen to three
different Queens since the month set in.-
First they started with Rhoda, who very
soon took sick and had to resign. She was
succeeded by Angelina, who couldn't drink
buttermilk, and had to have cream in her
coffee. She had a voice, too, and delighted
herself in vocal culture. Next came
Seraphima, who being accommodated with
some advance of wages, took French leave
and was no more seen. Simpkins and bis
wife not anticipating this little ruse de-
queTre, put mp with many little deliuquen-
cies in way of shortness of f.speech, to say
nothing of shortness of rations on their own
table, wisely concluding to bear the ills
they had, at least until an opportunity pre-
sented itself to fly to those they know not
OF. However, for shrewd cunning Sera-
phima at last took the cake.
GLOW do you like the new cook, Nellie?''
asked Simpkins one morning as he hurriedly
adjusted dressing gown and slippers with a
view to enjoying the daily paper just little
while before breakfast. "She will do until
We can do BETTER" responded Mrs. Simp-
kins, with prophetic sigh at the clock on
the mantel, "bus she takes her own time,
certainly-is entirely too slow, entertains
company at any and all hours, and evident
ly hates children. They do not dare show
their faces in the kitchen without being
snubbed; only yesterday poor little Adolf
phus came out crying with the ish-cloth
pinned to his apron"
''She makes pretty fair bread" suggested
the husband, by way of palliation.
"Oniy too fair; it is never Drowned and
often not baked through at all. The rolls
yesterday were not only soggy, but sour;
did not allow them on the table, but had
to substitute soda biscuit, very hastily
made"
"What is her name?''
"Seraphima," quietly replied Mrs.
Simpkins, with significant smile.
"Seraphima, by joven"-and Simpkins
threw down his paper with a sense of dis
gust.
"SeraphiDa"-why, darling, you might
have known that so heavenly cognomen
was never designed to be associated with
mutton hash and griddIe cakes; the finest
cook ever saw was named Peggy, and 1
tell you the way sho broiled steak would
have done credit to Scycy, himself; give
me the old-fashioned Virginia cooks, with
their old-fashioned names, forever. How
ever, let's have breakfast; it is time 1 was
at my office"
Mrs. Simpkins whistled down the order,
but there came no response. She whistled
again, but there came up through the tube
only cold breath of lonesome air from
deserted kitchen, where evidently the
hearth fires had not even been kindIed.-
She glanced at her husband with blank
look of astonishment and fear. Simpkins
returned the glance and broke the silence.
"Can it be possible she has left?" he
to say.
81 will go and see," and the little wife
FASTENED down stairs while he put his ear
to the whistlIDg tube.
Vexation and dismay struggled for
mastery in the expression of his face. He
listened, spell-bound, only to hear a deep
groan as Mrs. Simpkins adjusted the tea
kettle and stove preparatory for business.
'sWhat are you doing, Nell?" he meekly
asked, evidently taking in the situation.
isWhy, Seraphims hasn't come, and I'll
have to get breakfast; that comes of your
having advanced half her wages last
night" Just then the baby walked in the
cradle and cried Justify. Simpkins had al.
ways been kind father in his way, but his
disposition now to be mother too, proved
\ dire failure. The more he hugged and
Kissed and tossed and trosted, the more
baby clamored for mama. At last he called
lown in despair, "Come up to the baby,
Nell. l don't want any breakfast; Pm
not bit hungry and don't feel that l ever
shall want to eat again, as long as live."
The wife hurried up with worn and
laggard look on her pale and patient face,
and taking the baby hushed Its cries at
once, looking down at the little burden as
f that made every other burden light and
Easy to bear. When Simpkins, donpipg
his business coat and boots, kissed her
goodbye there was even smile on the
face lifted to his, seeing which he broke
INTO laugh, saying: sI'm glad she's gone,
for my part. We'll try and get one with
ess name and more fitness next time,', and
be hurried off to the Office.
Mrs. Simpkins was less hopeful, but with
, woman's ready tact, she adapted herself
20 tho situation, getting breakfast, dinner
and supper that day, the next and the next
without murmur. Meanwhile Simpkins
advertised freely, but with no satisfactory
-esnlt.
What has become of sll the old-fashioned
,ooks," he would say. "Where are the
Patseys and Peggies, the Dollys and Dill
'eys, the Callines and Chloes, that used to
ldorn and dignity Virginia kitohens9''
At last coming home one day be met
lat, middle-aged woman, black as ink, and
with pleasant, good-natured face that
broke into smiles as he stopped her with
he enquiry, "Aunty, are you cook?"
''Lor, narster. bin cook ever sence I
wuz born; / cum to town now to git a
'icher. washun."
"And where did you come from, and
what is your name?''
s'My nsme's Dilsey, an I cum from de
over eend o. Nelson county; de Massies
,aised me-" and at mention of the family
name the old woman Strengthened herself
stiff1y, as if she thought that announce
nent ought to ''pass' her anywhere
5impkins engaged her at once, and reach.
ing home he introduced her to his wife,
with all the air of tho triumphant miner
who suddenly strikes gold vein. Aunt
Dilsey was duly installed in her new po-
sition, end ever since the report from the
kitchen has been Everything lovely."-
Such bread was never made before and as
to steaks. it would reconcile sensible beef
to being slaughtered to- know that his
tender parts would be laid on Aunt Dill
sey's gridiron. Simpkins declares that
whenever he is out of cook again, he will
studiously avoid the angelic eaoirs, even
though they represent the ranks of the
Cherubim and Seraphim. 'Dilsey's" for
hila heneeforth and forever.-Lyach News.
Before and After Using.
AT one time l had awful soras and PIN
pies on my face, and after using two bot
ties of S. s. s. swas cured, and now have
a nice, smooth complexion.
JAMES L. BOYLE,
Atlanta, Ga.
Ny Life Burden.
was afflicted from infancy with Catarrh
and with eruptions on my face for ten
years. l Yves attended by the very best
~ t,;a hor oF h1ooI