davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-06-05
BRIGHT BITS.
! GAVE you many kiss, my dear,
When you were but baby wee;
And now you've lots TO give away,
You might give mine back to me.

GAVE you many kiss, my dear,
When you were but a baby wee;
And now you've lots TO give away,
You might give mine back to me.
Philadelphia Inquirer.
No LANGUAGE can express the feelings of a
deaf mute who steps on a tack in dark room.
-ELmtrG Gazette.
LAM summer boarder," said the tramp, who
was taking a bath on the lumber pile.
-WdStfpqton fost
''WHAT is there besides luck that amounts to
anything in cards:'
"A good deal. Laurence american.
How CAN Stanleys intended bride hope to
hold permanent possession of his hearth She
is only Tenant, anyhow.-Teras otftings.
AN EXCHANGE rants because a certain old
widow in a Connecticut town smokes. Let her
smoke. Every widow is entitled to her weeds.
Laurence american.
THINGS ONE WoULD RATHER HAVE EXPRESSED
DIFFEREETLY.-Photogra - Please look
little pleasant, miss. | know it's hard, but it's
only for moment!-Funch.
MODERN CHIvALRY.-Awkward Miss with an
umbrella)-Beg pardon.
Polite Gentleman-Dont mention it. / have
another eye left.-Nelo York Weekly.
wIFE-What is the news?
Husband-I was just reading about our minis
ter at Copenhagen.
Wife-Yes, noticed at the sociable the other
night that our minister was very fond of the
81 DON'T understand you A few minutes ago
you said Meddlesome was great business man,
and now you say he don't know his own bust
ness"
Exactly. Other peoples business is his
specially. Detroit Free Press.
PERT SHOP GIRL Qn defiance of every protest).
1t is precisely the shade. ma am. We haven't
finer pair of gloves in the store. l am more
abte to judge than you are, don't you think!
You'll find they'll answer
Old Lady-If they do answer, hope they
won't answer impudently. -The Epoch.
PRoFEssoR-You are aware that in certain
cases the mother can be guardian of her chill
dren. provided she Is of age. Now, can grand
mother also be guardian?
Student-YeS, sir.
Professor what conditions?
Provided she is of age, "-PGris Figaro.
''WAs there any applause at the close Of your
lecturer"
through they couldn't applaud. "-Harper's
BdzGr.
BoB-I am afraid Tom is getting into bad
habit.
Dick-What bad habit?
Bob-When he gets into clothes that are not
paid for.-Terds Stfttnaqs.
OLD CoUross lin his offce)-what an outrage
it is TO drive the poor old blind newsman out of
the Fulton Ferry, where he has sold papers for
fifty years.
Confidential Clerk-That's so. The avarice of
| these grasping corporations is positively dis
gushing.
Old Coupons Cooking out of the window
There's that lame banana pedder in front of
down and tell the policeman to drive him off :
Texas SiftLnqs.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-06-05
Increased By One Crank.

Il understand you people up in Tacoma
chfpped in TO pay the expenses of George
Francis Train around the world in order to at
tract immigration there" casually remarked
Warren Leland TO a gentleman VINO mad Just
scratched John Smith, Tacoma" on Mr.. Le-
land's register
Yes, I believe we did do something ike
that, " Mr.. Smith replied
"And-er do you think it will prove paying
Investments" asked Mr.. Leland. who felt a little
charty
We'll, sir, if the truth must be. told, shall
answer IN the affirmative" replied Mr. Smith,
who felt a little cnatty himself.
That's good news said Mr.. Leland. rubbing
his hands together. Good news, indeed. Pom
my word, l always said there was nothing like
the west for enterprise, and this proves again
that am right. So your population has been
increased, eh:'
Yep, replied Mr.. Smith. 1.-The population
has been increased"
Good Good,'' exclaimed Mr.. Leland. his
pleased expression of countenance indorsing
his utterauce. And how much, Mr. Smith
has your population been increased!"
MIR. Smith rurninated for a moment, says the
Chicago Post. and then replied: Our popula-
ton has been increased by the immigration of
Just one person, - old crank named George
Francis Train
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-06-05
McCarthy's Struggle With a Mint
Julep.

1t is worth travelling a mile to hear David
Lewsley tell how he and Representative John
Henry Mccarthy of the Eighth New York dis
trict took in couple of mint juleps at Shoe
makers relates a writer in the Washington
Post Nature gave the Little Giant slight
physical proportions, but made up the oversight
by double endowment of brains. a heart so
big 1t sticks out of his eyes, and facial profile
as clear cut and exquisite as the lines of a
Greek cameo.
We went in, and ordered a couple of iu-
leps," says Lewsley. Oisinterested parties say
that the judge paid for them). The barkeeper
went TO work, mixed the liquor in proper pro-
portion, shook the mixture in GU the cracked
Ice. slowed away slice of pineapple, a section
OF banana, pieces Of lemon and orange, couple
OF raisins, and strawberry in each, twisted in
the handful OF mint, and crowned it all by
thrusting two tall rye straws In each tumbler.
stopped over gracefully and commenced to
suck in the julep, when was compelled to stop
ana watch the judge. He eyed his julep visit
fully. The straws lowered above his head like
the masts of a ship. He stood on tiptoe. 1t
was failure. He climbed on the bar fender.
Still they were beyond his reach. He attempted
TO scale the straws hand over hand like the
sailor climbing the forestry. 1t wouldn't work
At last the judge was forced TO lift the iulep off
the bar, set it on the floor, and stand up in a
chair in order to gather the ends of the straws
into his mouth. -
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-06-05
The Miller-Elliott Contest.

The republican majority of the House
have evidently determined to have a re-
publican congressman from the Seventh
South Carolina district The fact that the
majority Of the people of the district are
black is regarded by them as sufficient evil
Gence that the republican candidate was
elected, and was deprived of his election by
unfair and fraudulent means Having
reached that conclusion, they hunted up
excuses to justify them in unseating Repre-
sentative Elliott and seating the contestant,
Miller
The majority of the elections committee
say that if there had been fair election
Miller would have had a majority of ISL
The election, they say, however, wasn't
fair, because many blacks were disfran-
chised by their failure to register in 1881,
and many others by their action in SELL
ing their registration certificates; that the
ballot-boxes were arranged to deceive igno-
rant black voters, and also that the ballot
boxes were stuffed.
1t seems to have been left for this con
gress to discover that the election law Of
South Carolina is unconstitutional. The
law has been in force quite number of
| years and other elections committees of
congress have passed upon it, but none of
| them appear to have thought the law I'm.
constitutional. The elections committee of
| this congress, however, was appointed to do
partisan work, and it is serving its party
we'll IL it cannot overcome majorities
against republican contestants in one way
it seeks for others. 1t does not permit itself
to be bound by facts or the lay.
| Doubtless Representative Elliott Will lose
| his seat, not because he did not carry his
| district, since the fact that he did is noto-
rious, but because he has been marked GU
as one of the victims to be sacrificed to
| furnish campaign material for the Repub-
| licah party. The republicans want to make
the blacks believe that they are watchful OF
their political interests, and they think they
can do that by unseating southern demo
Gratis and seating republicans.
The Seventh South Carolina district has
been well representa- since Mr.. Elliott has
been in congress 1t is quite safe to say
that il Miller should ba seated the district
would not be half as we'll represented as it
is at present. However, the republicans
are not interested in having any southern
district well represented. What they want
| is power.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-06-05
Bismarck Warned

A Berlin dispatch in the MORNING
NEWS says that tbs Emperor Of Ger
many has informed Princz Bismarck
that if be does not stop his newspaper
utterings the result VIII Be serious From
this it would sem as if the emperor has
about concluied that he has bean patient
with Bismarck long enough. and that the
ex-chanceIlor must in the future cease 70
discuss in the public prints affairs Of state.
The Herald quotes from the NiHeteeath
Century a statement 70 the effect
that Bismarck is intriguing at the
little German courts as well as
With foreign governments, with the view
Of placing difficulties IN the emperor's way,
and that number Of German officials who
have been in communication with him are
in danger Of getting into trouble.
It is hardly probable that Bismarck
would like to pull down the fabric of Ger
man unity. which owes 50 much 10 his
genius, but there does not seem to be any
doubt that he feels that ne has not been
treated fairly, and that he would like to
make the emperor repent having dismissed
him.
The emperor, however, appears 70 be
fully able TO take care of himself, and, be-
sides, he doesn't stand in awe Of the ex-
chancellor. He probably holds the view
with regard to him that, it is understood,
his father held, viz: that he is an over
rated man. At least the emperor feels con-
fident Of his ability to manage the empire
without Bismarck's help. He has already
shown that he has judgment in the selection
OF his advisers and assistants, and he re-
tains pretty firm grip upon public affairs.
1t is only natural that Bismarck should
do good deal Of talking. He cannot fully
realize yet that he is now only a private
citizen. and that the civilized world. which
once gave all his utterances profound con-
sideration, no longer reg ards what he says
as Of much account
1t is probable that he thought when he
was dismissed that he would soon be re-
called. He could not understand how the
empire could exist without him, and it is
probable that be still thinks that the en-
peror will have to appeal TO him soon for
advice and assistance. Indeed, it is
not improbable that without intending
| any harm TO the empire he is
trying to bring about state of affairs that
would greatly embarrass the emperor. The
sharp warning which, it is alleged, the en-
peror has given him, however, may be suffi-
Gent to convince him that he is treading
upon dangerous ground. and inducs him to
devote himself to personal and private
matters and let state affairs alone.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-06-05
The ARIZONA Kicker.

We extract the following from the last issue
of the arizona Kicker, says the Detroit Free
Press:
TRY IT ONcE-Two months ago the postmas.
ter of this town didn't care a cent whether our
mail reached us or not, and every complaint we
made was received with ill-disguised contempt
We brought matters TO a climax by encour-
aging him to attempt to horsewhipus. AS soon
as he had struck the first blow we sailed in and
his friends say that he was the worst licked
man ever heard of in Arizona. Since that date
nothing is too good for us. He sends boy over
With our mail twice day, and every one of
our subscribers gets his Kicker so promptly
that the paper feels hot when it reaches him
Mem.-lf your postmaster won't travel in the
right bridle-path. haste him. 1t beats appeals
to Wananaker all hollow
HAD TO BE DOVE. Six months ago this town
was full of drunkards and blackle 5 and profess
Sional tefrorS Every one feared the crowd
and the sheriff himself got drunk so often that
no help could be had from him. Where is the
crowd to-day? Gone, Dug outl Disappeared |
What caused it? The Kicker opened on them
without fear or favor. They threatened us
We loaded our gun and went out and dropped
Sam Barlow with ball in the leg, winged Jim
Simpson at long range and split Tom Jackson's
ear as he turned the postoffice corner We
gave four of the gamblers a day to pack I'D in
furnished the rope that hung Jack Beavers
and it was our gun that went off when Dead
wood Hank tumbled from the bridge.
Last night the representative citizens of the
town rendered US banquet and presented us
with an ice-pitcher as a token of their approba-
ton Readers may look for full report in our
next issue. Thanks. gentlemen. We don't
want to run the town. but we've got a sneakipg
notion into our head that it must be made sa se
for mule to walk the length of Apachaye dav
or night. Westward the star of empire takes
its way, and we will say right here before we
forget it that if Charlie Thompson, bartender
at the Grey Eagle saloon, doesn't drop out of
sight before Saturday he'll stand prime show
of grave in the sand-pit.
Lo, Poor FLYl--Our readers will bear witness
that we refer to our contemporary only at long
intervals, and then in the kindest manner. on
the contrary, he devotes much of his space each
week to personal abuse of us. We have no
quarrel with this poor old fly. We pity him.
Whenever we see man intended by nature to
run a side-show of wax figures taking up Jour
nalism instead our heart goes out in sorrow.
We realize how he must feel. 1t is like a lack
ass rabbit trying to pass himself off as buff
falo
The poor old fly sent us word the other dav
to look out for ourself. as he intended TO shoot
us on sight We borrowed sduirt-eun of a
boy on the street, and went over TO THE Lame
Duck" office aud stood in the door of the
sanctum, and squirted the poor old insect out of
the window. He didn't even stop to argue the
case, Tor to throw a paper-weight Then we
counted his subscription list, found he had 143
subscribers where he claimed $50, and went
away feeling nothing but love and pity for him
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-06-05
Knox Makes Quay Laugh.

Col. j. Annoy Knox, one of the humorist
writers for the Pitsburg Dispatch came to town
by slow freight the other day. 1t appears that
few days prior to the opening of our tale Col
Knox was swapping stories with DR.. Depew in
the Grand Central depot, when the doctor incl
dentally mentioned that there was a standing
reward of $500 in gold for the man. woman, or
child who could make Senator Quay, the chair
man OF the republican national committee,
laugh laugh, says the Washington Herald.
For the purpose Of copperng this reward the
colonel freighted himself in. He found Col
Quay in the interstate commerce committee
room. The meeting was cordial In the extreme.
The senator pressed upon him his pocketbook
and corner lot in the town of Beaver, both of
which were declined with thanks. He then
asked him to run for governor of Pennsylvania
on the greenback ticket, which, owing to pre-
vious engagements, Col. Knox was also COM
PEELED to decline.
Il understand, my dear senator" said Col
Knox, playing on his sympathetic register.
that you have not laughed since my esteemed
contemporary, Col. Bill Nye, in a rash and un-
guarded moment in New York paper, wrote
certain articles rejecting upon your ability to
pack a town caucus and to count up a quorum
at Monday nights session of the legislature -
II have not laughed since Them calculated
the senator, solemnly.
Well, my dear man. this thing must not go
brain, indigestion. are bound to come. You
must laugh with me. Positively you must
laugh with me; the salvation of the country
depends on yonr Laughing with me. l have
brought down Joke with me in my valise.
Fortunately my valise is at the door, I will get
the joke. Hal Hai Ha 1t is a new joke. l
told it to Henry Carey Lea of Philadelphia, and
he laughed so much that he actually went and
wrote that open letter Harrison wants another
term. Ha Ha. Hal"
Harrison wants what?'
Another term. Hal Ha!'
Harrison wants another term?' screamed
Senator Quay. Hal Hal Ha! Best Joke of the
century. Hal Ha! Har'
It will thus be seen that Col J. Annoy Knox 8
visit to Washington was not in vain.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-06-05
The Brides Ihouzht.
Frorn .Tnd1.

From Judge
Shall tel you. dear, what thought Of vhe-
The ring was on aud the prayer was said'''
They we're sale in their hyiny carriage then,
Two lovers just newly wed.
Not Of the peace that ended fear;
Not OF the wears we hope 70 know:
But only thought-O, forgive me ar
OF the man who loved me 50.
Your friend who stood by my bridesmaid
side
At the affairs railing. our chosen two.
He had lOnged so dearly 70 cal me bride,
But darling, you never knew.
And only thought how it seemed to him,
The offered VOWS and the glad replies;
And somehow the lighted church looked dim
through the tears that filed my eyes"
Then. laughing lightly, thus answered he:
rs very strange how these things occur;
Your bridesmaid. dear, was in love with me,
But never thought Of herr
MADELINE S. BRIDGES.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-06-05

Speaker Reed, in his speech at the Home
Market Club, in Boston, the other day
said: "We just passed through the House OF
Representatives tariff bill, and passed il
with unanimity of action on the part of
the republicans without parallel in the his
tory Of the country" True, Mr.. Reed. you
had just a leetle bit the best of the game
but wait till the people get whack at it at
the coming congressional elections. That
abomination, the Mckinley bill, will be a
hard thing to defend, and no explanations
and apologies win be accepted.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-06-05

The MoEsnso News Is on file az the following
pasees, where Advertising Rates and other in
formation regarding the paper can be obtained;
NEW YORK CITY
J. II BATES, IS PARK Row.
9. P. RowEIL & Co, 10 Spruce street.
w ". SzAsP & Co., u Park Row.
WkANK KTEREAE & Co, 152 Broadway.
13AUcEY e. Co, q Park Place.
,. ". THOMPSON, 90 PARK Row
AxxETcAs NEWSPAPER PUELIsHEEs' ASSOCIATION,
Potter Building.
( PHILADELPHIA
H. W. AVER & Sos, Times Building
EOSTOS-
g. a NILS. 25s Washington street.
FET-EsaIL1 & Co., 10 State street
CHICAGO
xoRr & THoxAs, IS Randolph street.
ClIICINNATT-
EDwIN ALDEN CoxPASY. co West Fourth street.
NEW HAVEN
THE 4. P. HuBBAaD CoxPAxY. Is Elm street
ST. LOUIS
AELso,l CHEsxAs & Co.. i127 Pine street.
ATLANTA
NozsnSs NEWS BUREAU, az whitehall street
MACON
DAILY TELEsRAPH OFFICE. 5H Mulberry street.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-06-05

There are good many candidates for the
position of First Assistant Postmaster Gen
eral, soon to become vacant by the resigna-
ton of Mr. Clarkson. Among those seriously
considered are ex-Gov. Charles Foster of
Ohio, Gen. Golf of West Virginia, ex-
Collector of Internal Revenue Walter
Evans of Louisville, KY, and Lewis T.
Kitchener, Attorney General and present
chairman of the Indiana state republican
committee. There must be great desire for
office when such men as Golf and Foster are
willing to play second fiddle to Mr.. Wanna
maker
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-06-05

Chairman Flower of the democratic con-
Rres,ional campaign committee is quietly
and actively at work, and in thorough bust
ness way that is bound to bring good results
IN the coming campaign. According to a
dispatch from Washington. he is confident
the democrats will carry the House by such
an overwhelming majority that it cannot
be counted out by any of the devices yet
invented in the shape of election laws.
There will be no assessments, aud no money
paid out 60 corrupt voters. The canvass
will be conducted fairly. honestly aud
openly. How different that sounds from
the Quay Dudley method, but it is bound to
win.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-06-05
The Germans Of Hamburg have arranged

rather attractive advertising scheme At
the cost of 81 200, 900 they have chartered a
steamer and loaded her with all sorts of
German manufactures. Booths will be
erected on the vessels deck in which the
goods will be displayed and sold. There
will be refreshments peculiar TO the Ger
man nation and also music by faultless
Teuton bands. The steamer is to visit all
the principal ports of the world. and it is
expected that the voyage will last two
years. Doubtless the cargo will be dis
posed of at a handsome profit.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-06-05

According to Gen. Brisbin tho canteen
system has done great work in doing away
with drunkenness in the army. Canteens,
which restricted the sale of liquor to beer
and light wines. were established to do away
with post traders, SO as to bring the sale of
liquor under direct control of the military,
especially in prohibition states, where the
traffic by post traders would have been I'M
lawful. But now the conference committee
of congress has decided that spirituous and
malt liquors shall not be sold in canteens in
such states either. This makes a rather
curious distinction, doubtless to shield men,
bers who represent prohibition states, as the
matter is really one of regulation by the
war department. There is great deal of
testimony in support of Gen. Brisbin's
statement, ard that men were dissuaded
from going beyond the garrison limits and
INDUCING in strong liquors to excess.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-06-05
OUR NEW YORK OFFICE

kH- J. J. FLYSx has been appointed General
Advertising Agent Of the aoESrSo News, with
N once az q Park Roz, SeS York Al adver-
essne business outside Of the states Of Georgia,
FLORIDA and South Caroliaa VIII Be managed By
him.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-06-05

There seems TO be strong probability
after all that one of the Caldwell Sisters, of
Washington, d. c.. will succeed in marry
ing a title. 1t is reported in society circles
that Miss Lena Caldwell is engaged to
marry Baron Won Zedwitz, the German
minister TO Mexico. Miss Mary Caldwell,
who gave $500, 900 to the Catholic University
in Washington, and who is a sister of Miss
Lena, was, it will he remembered, engaged
TO Prince Murat Both ladies are now in
Rome, and Baron zedwitz is in Europe on
a leave Of absence.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-06-05

While the republicans are busy depriving
democrats who were honestly elected to
congress of their seats. will somebody rise
and ask Speaker Reed to explain why he
should retain his seat if the charges Of cor
ruption and bribery in his own district two
years ago are trues A correspondent of the
New York Times from Biddeford, Me-,
declares that votes were openly bargainsd
for at that place, from IS to s26 being paid
at the election in September, 1888, when
Mr.. Reed was last elected to congress. This
is a serious accusation, and Mr.. Reed cannot
afford to let it go unnoticed. Mr.. Reed
should promptly demand an investigation,
or stand convicted before the American
people like Quay.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-06-05
Deserves Encouragement.
From the Boston Globe tDem.l.

from NE BOSTON, ULObe tUeni. !
The Republican party's hostility to the people
and to their rights and interests; its willingness
to trample down all the safe guards of popular
government to satisfy its lust of power and
office, and its utter serviliJy to the great trade
monopolies, whose corrupted and corrupting
creature it has become, are all ably incarnated
in the ample person of the rotand and reckless
Reed. His nomination to the presidency would
make a republican platform at once superhuous
and us sless. The issue and the candidate would
be one and indivisible And, that being the
case. the Democratic party cannot do better
than give the Reed presidential movement every
possible encouragement
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-06-05

Anover-zealous and exuberantly patriotic
Congressman from New England Is hard at
work on bill providing fines for flying,
carrying or otherwise exhibiting the con-
federate flag Let him include the bloody
shirt, and then the occupation of the repub-
Iican orators would be entirely gone
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-06-05

Both Clsrkson and Secretary Noble deny
that they ever intended to resign. Toe
former repudiates the interview in which
he is reported to have said that President
Harriso l is suspicious of every man under
him. Clarksons partisanship, like C8sar's
wife, is above suspicion.