River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1890-07-24

chaw nv terbacker."
They proceeded to the next room,
called the ''Theatorium" by the proprie-
tor A young man with dissipated
face and a curbed back was viciously
pounding a piano, while one of the
''star" actresses. gaudily dressed Ito a
surprisingly limited extentl, was exc
cutting a most difficult dance, the grand
secret of which seemed to be to come
down very heavy on both feet and turn
around swiftly.
The dancer had scarcely ceased when
a man upon whose face the shades of an
everlasting and horrible curse seemed
to have settled, touched Bill on the
shoulder. He was a small man with a
square face. badly marked by smallpox.
He had an eccentric way of looking at a
man, which at once convinced the man
looked at that kind had Providence de-
serted him and was not on his side that
morning.
Have you seen Ed sons latest inven-
tion?' he asked. in a husky voice. at
the same time lavishly bestowlng cast
iron look on the two brothers that
would throw an ordinary tiger into fit.
81 don't think we have" answered
Bill, timidly.
well, you don't want to miss 1t.
Come along and I'll show it to you"
He led them into a small room, where
upon a table was displayed acontrivance
which he called "Edison's Blood Test
err" 1t was a simple affair, consisting
of two hollow glass balls, connected
by short piece of rubber tubing. One
of the balls was filed with bright red
fluid, resembling blood. The museum
man explained that by taking the two
glass balls in the hands the fluid would
run from one to the other. the force in
dicating the condition of the blood. II
1t ran swiftly the blood was in good con-
dition, whereas. if it got a messenger
boy gait on. the man didn't have more
than three weeks to live.
A small card, prominently displayed,
bore the following tale:
THIS is EDISoN'S BLOOD TESTER
TRY IT. NO CHARGE.
Three men, with faces suggestive of
crime. Immediately began testing their
blood. and seemed highly pleased at
finding it in as good condition as the
tester indicated. Bill and Tom were
urged to try it, and as it did not cost
any thing. they also found out the ex-
act condition of affairs in the interior.
just as they were leaving, the dime
museum man said;
'Now, gentlemen, the charge for OBJ
tanning this valuable information is
only fifty cents each"
The three men promptly paid fifty
cents each, one Of them remarking that
it was well worth that amount to find
out the condition of his blood as he had
had grave doubts about its exact shape.
and that now he could rest easy.
81 should say it was cheap" remarked
another. 'sWhy, paid DIR. LOOMS four
dollars about three years ago for the
same thing"
1t is needless to say that the three
men were in with the swindle.
well, don't pay bloody cent, said
Bill. very emphatieally.
"Nor l." said Tom You're a set of
blood-suckersl'
WHAT exclaimed the dime museum
man, with virtuous Indignation, have
you got the cheek to come in here. test
your burned blood and then refuse to
pay for it when there's card right be-
fore your eyes saying what it viii cost?
No. siri III not stand itr'
Murmurs of Its shame to cheat the
man." from the three.
now read:
THIS IS EDIsoN'S BLOOD TESTER
TRY 1T. ONLY FIFTY CENTS.
"Are you fellers going to pay up"
asked the museum man, in low, pro-
phetic tone.
Not much" said dill, grimly.
The museum man sid out of the
room.
Bill and Tom were warned by one of
the three men TO pony up" quick; that
the museum man had gone for the boun-
Ger, who was regular slugger, who used
TO be prize-fghter, etc
He re-entered the room with a man
fully six feet three and broad in proper
ton.
"Where are theyw yelled the bouncer,
in James Owen O'Conor tone of voice,
which awoke the fat roy, and that indi-
vidual waddled to the door and looked
lazily on. The bouncer grabbed Bill by
the collar, and shaking him violently,
shouted: rs dis der slob?''
Eyes. but give EN- one more chance.
Now, are ron fellers going to pay? Re-
member this is your last chance" said
the proprietor.
Bill was wrapped in deep thought, as
II undecided what to do. In the mean
time the bouncer was getting very i'm
patient. and it required the united
strength of the three men and the fat
boy to hold him back. Bill observed
that actual measurement would result
in obtaining the information that the
bouncer was fully three feet across the
shoulders. He mentioned this fact in
an undertone to Tom-and then they
paid fifty cents each.
When once again ont doors, neither
spoke forseveral minutes. Finally Bill.
with mighty effort, said:
'sTom."
'Yes," said Tom.
"we'vs been swindled-most outrage
ously.r
s<Vas tad Tom