The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1890-02-20
TEE WAYS OF BRIDacRooMs.
.5sQg,in1 With the Minister About the
Foe-Ideas of Etiquette Differ.
a.. ~ VI. Tr--g,,-.,,

From tAe -sciC 4 ORR 1fsJHNe-
ave ministers see many curious phases of
human nature said a preacher the other
dav land Tot little amusement is to be
derived from watching the behavior of
neople who come to you 70 get married, for
Instance.
II remember when l had parish in the
.ountry q big. rough farmer drove up 20
nv house one day with blushing, giggllug
dirnsel il his wagon. After 1 had married
+bern the bridegroom said:
.. Moneys scarce in these parts. minister
and I can't raise more than enough to pay
my taxes this fall, but I'll draw you two
t6umpin big loads OF cOrdwoOd when snow
comes for this job.
II told him I had TO take SO large a part
of nv salary already in cordwood that
fdn't care to marry people for it. but the
.oh as he called Ii, couldn't be undone and
,oriwood was better than nothing. He
never brought it, however, and while his
l,orses were standing outside they managed
20 chew the entire top of a little ornaments
Tree had taken great pains to plant on my
lawn.
"a party of gypsies surprised me one day,
As they don't often insist on so much cere-
rnonv III their weddings, by walking in and
demanding that two of them be married.
[ had some difficulty in explaining that
license wss just as necessary as minister,
but having decided on a formal affair, they
determined, after considerable discussion, to
20 through with it. So several of them
camped on my lawn, while the bride and
bridegroom went for license. He had no
coat but carried an immense bundle of
something, which he seemed unwilling to
LET 90 for an instant. She was in her bare
feet and seemed to be troubled with no
worldly possessions at all save a calico
gown AS they walked she kept a little
ahead of him with saucy air, while ne
followed with the bundle. After the cere-
mony he helped her take up the bundle, and
she trudged behind. That was the only
difference | could see in the pair, but it was
asignifcant one.
"a young farmer came to me one day."
continued the minister, with a girl who
evidently had advanced ideas of style She
was attired in all the colors of the rainbow,
and he thought she knew it ali, though he
felt a little abashed at the unwonted finery.
They brought no witnesses, and as my mar
ried sister and her husband were there on a
visit from their city home to my backwoods
parsonage, and were bound to get all the
entertainment out of my surroundings that
they could. they gladly agreed to be brides
maid and best man at country wedding.
They were very well dressed people, indeed,
so that their internal commissions Of laughter
NAV be imagined when the bride said:
"'Henry, distribute the gloves
"Henry dutifullv fished out of his coattail
pockets several pairs of coarse, white gloves
Of the shlrt-wristed, elastic-bound variety,
which had evidently done duty before at
some bucolic funeral, and gravely handed
them around.
"Tney were so deeply in earnest about it.
and so evidently thought that they were
doing the thing up in the latest style that
we all pulled on the gloves and wore them
without a smile throughout the ceremony,
though mine sadly interfered with turning
the leaves of my prayeruook. When l
called on the bride after ward l found con-
spicuous on her parlor center table a pre-
tentiOus book on etiquette, from which, no
doubt, she had culled her ideas of how to
conduct marriage ceremonies
There are plenty of men, too, who want
to get the thing done as cheaply as possible,
and are prepared to haggle over tho fee.
is that ell there Is to itln they say,
when the ceremony is over. Pretty short,
amt it? Didn't take much trouble. Whats
the fee, sir! Times is hard just now and
Ion, just pay whatever you think your
wife is worth, [ always say to these fellows,
with smile at the bride. That generally
stops the haggler and raises laugh against
him.
THE thriftiest man who ever came to me
for this purpose, however, was one | met
with in Canada, where | had parish for q
land, my native land. He came alone and
opened the conversation in this way:
What will it cost me, minister, to get
marriedP
1.-Two dollars for the license said, and
two for my fee
'Wh-e-e-w,' he whistled -Four dollars
Isn't there any cheaper way than that9"
lyon can get along without the license,
| said, by having the bans published by me
for three successive Sundays in the church )
Wont twice dog he asked.
mo replied.
:" Il can't leave them that long in the
ground he said, in a troubled tone, and it
will cost me So for telling you about
Shemp
"'What are you talking about. menp |
said, thinking he perhaps was drunk
" The potatoes Of course, he said. Didn't
| tell You about them?
Ono ! said, what about theme
"'Well,' he said, there's my field of
potatoes. They're ripe and ready TO
gather. | must get to work at once and
fork them out of the hills, but / have no
one to pick them up after me. Did you ever
pick potatoesP
mo / said, & never did, but l under
stand it's hard work
cit is that he replied, and I'd have to
pay man or boy at least So to pick that
field and board him beside. Now, the
woman I'm gong TO marry Is stout ana
willing girl and she'll pick the field for
nothing, If l can only get her in time. But
the three weeks of bans is going to put the
work off too late. What would you do?
Its case where l don't feel called on
to give any advice, | answered a little
testify, as could not help thinking of the
willing bride breaking her back picking
potatoes for such churl.
HE considered awhile, and at last de-
cided to spend 81 for a license, as he would
thus save IS in cash on the participating,
ana get three weeks of hard work out OF
the willing bride into the bargain.
Some bridal parties are exceedingly
jolly" continued the talker, $50 much so,
4 in fact, that have often had to stop III the
middle of the service and lecture the bride
or bridesmaids for giggling, and others
again are SO solemn that | feel it my duty
q to cheer them up little | have few old
stock jokes for such occasions which never
TAIL to provoke laugh. When l give the
bride her marriage lines as we call the GER
adcate, occasionally add that l have no
Doubt she will held TIE reins also One
bridegroom whom cheered with the OBJ
servation that this was the end of all his
troubles, returned some time after and re-
monstrated with me, saying that his mar
Trlage was really the beginning OF his woes.
me only defense l could urge for making